Weekly Trinity journal., 1861-10-12
Number 80.
DOesticks in Washington.

Washington City lies in an angle OF the Poto-
mac, and Potomac's eastern branch. Exactly
like spider web in the corner of rail fence;
the whole plan of the town is exactly that of
spider web the Capitol building is the fat old
spider in the middle, and all the other houses
are huge flies that have got into the web, and
can't get out. The whole country is dotted with
little white tents, thick as If there had been
snow storm that hadn't melted away yet or as
if some one of the huge old heather gods before
tossing off an ocean of beer at one tremendous
gulp, and blown the froth all over the surround
ing country.
Nobody, in ordinary times, GUes at Washington;
folks only stay here aud talk ; when Congress
goes away, every body goes with it; just as ii
everybody thought he was Congress. When
Congress is gone, there isn't any city here ;
nothing but u patch of ground, covered with
empty champagne and beer bottles and with
pieces of paper which are bills that didn't pay ;
and with red tape-as il the whole place had
been seeded down with these interesting articles,
in the hope that they would grow up to splen-
did crop.
Washington. Just now, however, is full of Mill
tary men-soders, and such gaudy animals. As
to officers | suppose there must be at least thirty
officers to every soldier. In fact, think there
are a million of officers at Wilard's every day
and understand there are as many as hundred
soldiers in the different camps about; but the
soldiers don't go to Wizards much | suppose
they don't know Willard,
You can't migrate rod without running over
a few coonels or knocking down major or so.
This morning stepped on the toe OF II lieuten-
ant and as turned to apologize, rammed one
of my elbows into the stomach of u general, and
the other into the eye of a captain. who tumblcd
over a little knot of lieutenant colonels, who fell
in a blue gold heap, dragging down with them
some cnsigns aud major general of DIVISION
Saw | had done mischief, when tangled my feet
in the swords of couple of other generals,
which pitched me head first into the ribs OF ano-
thcr general who also fell down. tripping up In
his fall two or three other generals. | expected
to have guard of generals sent after me, with
a park of artillery or two TO put me in the guard
house quite the contrary they thought, from
the way knocked people about, that was GER
tainly commander.in chief. Some OF the gener
ais picked me up, and they all touched their
hats.
This touching of the hat is great institution
but everybody does it--I do it. When | first
came here | saw everybody giving the military
salute to everybody else. So began TO do the
military | touched my hat to everybody my
arm was going up aud down like pump handle;
pumped away for u week, aud my arm got 80
lame that began to fear amputation. Then 1
conceived the idea of doing the military salute
with my foot thought il would be very effective,
especially if u man wore patent leather boot
aud gilt spur praciced it two days in my room
aud then did it to general he thought meant
to insult him, and he threatened guard house
when he mentioned guard house, went away;
| don't like to say | raa-but l went away, aud
the time was good,
Then | studied into the philosophy of the mill
tary pump handle salute business concluded
wouldn't pump handle to anybody under gen
cral. | had hitherto been especially careful to
pump handle to the gentlemen with stripes on
their arms. | thought they were major generals,
Now know the whole mystery of 1t, and I'll
tell.
There are three sizes of generals Brgader-
generals, with one star on the shoulder; major
generals with two stars on the shoulder; aud
generals of division, with two dittoes on ditto.
now pump handle to single barreled generals,
aud to double barreed generals, aud TO the high
pressure generals with the three stars but no
fellow that hasn't at least star on his shoulder
strap ever gets pump handle out OF me.
had heard so much talk about the rebels at
tackng Washington that got nervous about it,
and for few days flew to arms (put on my boots
and got ready to trave), about twenty one times
Il day. For instance, one morning heard a tre'
mendous cannonading 10 arms in big
scare -cannonading proved to be n runaway
army wagon numbering along on the side walk
went out and saw Willard, and got my scare Off
Heard tremendous CHATTER OF musketry -few
to arms-scare as before-ths musketry proved
to be chambermaid smashing crockery acci =
dentally. Saw Willard and whipped scare ~
before. Heard tremendous cnhfBc OF caVaiTy-
flew to arms-scare as formerly. Cavalry charge
was "A small negro on a small mule. Saw Willard,
etc And So for several days, was continually
| ewng to arms
Willard is very popular Willard ia mon-in
| fact three or four men. Willard keeps his three
or four shelves behind counter, and Willard
keeps II long row Of bottles behind him-Willard
has a great deal Of business with the bottles and
the officers have u great deal of business with
! Willard. In fact, the more officer man IS, the
more he doesn't do anything but have business
with Willard. People have an idea That II Is an
officers business to iight-not bit OF it-o0tceTs
don't ight-mea light-oficers look pretty, ana
have business with Willard.
Do you know Scare? | suppose not. Well,
great many fellows do When Scare gets hold OF
a fellow, that fellow Immediately sets Whisky to
whip him Whisky and Scare have constant
FIGHT. and Scare always gets the best OF It, When
you see a fellow talking loud and spelling Tor u
fight. and wishing the enemy would attack us, 80
that he MIGHT have a chance to do such tremend-
ous deeds of valor as the world never saw, you
NAV set it down as a sure thing that Whisky aud
Scare have been having another turn, aud that
Scare has got another licking. As Il general
thing the fellows who don't know Scare are not
much acquainted with Whisky.
mast stop now, for see my friend = double
barreed gencral | must go down and pump
handle to him, aud then, presume, we shall
have little business with Willard.
CouGdentially,
DOESrtcES, /. II.