The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1861-10-16

dinner here to-day, "-and he hustled
off in one direction, the landlord in
another, and two white jacketed wait
ers few hither and thither, impressed
with the vast Importance Of providing
for the magnates who were to uonor
the house by dining there.
Why can't | have dinner with
the Committee ?" said the I'D gentle
man, arresting the clerk once more as
he passed by him i" I'm peri: city
willing to pay for all have"
You Well, that is cool" said
the clerk why, do you think the
selcctmen would let you in to their
table 2"
Stranger things have Happened, )"
was the reply F; at any rate | should
like to try p
"Ha, ha, ha !" laughed the clerk,
couldn't think of such thing"
The old gentleman at this moment,
however as the clerk turned aw5y.
caught SIGHT through half opened
door, of a well spread table, evidently
all in readiness for the Committee,
who were assembled in the room above
and would soon be summoned to dis
cuss the Wards that were already
smoking upon the board. Without
any ado, therefore. he passed in, took
a seat and commenced a vigorous at
tact upon the dish nearest to him,
which CHANGED to be an excellent pair
Of roast chickens 1t happened that
there was no person in the room when
the invited guest took his seat, and
and two or three servants who came
il within the next few minutes to
place upon the table the remaining
articles which were necessary, only
homo ed him with curious stare as
they performed their les, while he
.plied his knife anil fork with vigor
that b-tokencd a oharponed appetite
and proper appreciation of the ex-
cellence of thu fare before him
The clerk, who entered a short time
after to take final glance aud see
that all was right, was Mortified at the
spectacle. Why, You old sinner !"
aid he rushing up to the object of his
wrath, who was enjoying tie savory
viands before him with great gusto,
" didn't | tell you that this dinner
was fol the committee What are
you doing here 2"
CAM you see yourself ?" said TIE
old man, cutting huge ham, Pm
having Il good dinna-."
Having good dinner ! Why,
you arc spelling everything" said the
clerk, aghast at the frightfal gap
made by the onslaught upon the ham.
"That's very true, young man, >"
was the reply I'm spelling my ap-
petite also, aud if matters proceed in
this manner it will soon be gone alto
gether."
The clerk in dismay hurried off for
the landlord, while the cause of his
trouble continued to eat away as in
dnstrious and quietly as though moth
ing had happened. Tn a few minutes
the landlord rushed in boiling with
wrath
How dare you ,ir?" exclaimed
the worthy, f" how dare YOU said he,
advancing with hostile intent.
" Keep perfectly cool, said the old
man with a dangerous look in his eye,
as he suspended operations with a
large carving knife under roast tur-
key he was dismembering =" remem-
Der Til pay for all | have"
" Pay for all you have !" said the
landlord, cycling tie carving knife
why you will have to pay for the
whole dinner ?"
every glad to do that" said the
other. resuming his knife and fork,
and finishing his repast with q few
choice morsels
Eyes, you shall pay for all you've
destroyed" said the landlord, almost
choking with rage, as lis visitor
coolly poured out glass Of wine from
a decanter, and nodding to him, drank
it off
Agreed, said the other, as he WHIP
ed his mouth and fingers upon nap
kin and drew long breath of salts
faction, and, landlord, you say
shall pay forall / destroy 2"
That | do, and roundly, too,n.
said Boniface.
Well, then, let's have the bill for
the sum total 2" said the old man rs
he rose, bringing one side of the table
at the same time, and precipitating,
with crash the contents in one com
mon pile upon the floor.
The landlord started back with
horror and dismay at the sight, while
his Customer, coolly drawing II tooth
pic from his vest pocket, exclaimed
Let's have the bill, landlord ?
Don't be frightened at a little broken
crockery. Let's know the price OF the
dinner z"
The landlord giving the wink to
his clerk to keep an eye on the fellow
and to see that he did not escape, pro-
ceeded to Che office, followed by his
customer. The score was sooD fgur-
ed up and passed over to the old man,
who stood quietly waiting Tor it, with
the clerk and two walters behind HIM
ready to seize him at a signal from
their employer
There's the amount sir" said the
landlord, with a grim triumph, 4 Sew
enty five dollars Now where's your
monev ~