The western Democrat. [volume] (Charlotte, N.C.) 1852-1870, 1861-06-11
RUNAWAY MATCHES.

RUNAWAY MATCHES.
Our readers have noticed, before now, that the
tone of remark and feeling with which clandestine
marriages are commented upon in conversation,
and by the press generally, is one of leyity and
undisguised satisfaction LII commonly regard
ed as of the best jokes if foolish daughter of
fifteen or sixteen years of age succeeds in Outwit-
ing father and mother. and runs off with ccm-
parative stranger. Editoria. wit is taxed to its
EXTREMIST capacity to render ridiculous the distress
and anxiety of the bereaVed father, he follows
his wandering child. And if fortune favOrs the
runaways, and the knot is tied before the parent
can interpose warning word the general Joy is
rapturous. 1t is a triumph of young love over
stern unsympathizIng, tyranical household authori-
ty, which calls for the celebration Or, if the
idea should occur to any that all is not quite right
in such cavalier treatment OF parents, it is
apologized for by the sage observation that young
folks will be young folks.
Take it all in all, stranger to our manners and
customs would be likely to infer that parental
rule and counsel implied something very dreadful
and oppressive; that the young ladies Of the land
were held in home bondage of the most unjust
and ungeuerOus charaC ter ..r
ID At the risk of being regarded as very old FASH
Toned, we shall nevertheless acknowledge we really
cannot see anything Of the nature Of good joke
in clandestine runaway wedding. We confess
10 feeling of sadness and evil foreboding, when
we hear that girl who is mere child has made
up her mind to repudiate the love and anxious care
of the mother who bore her, and Of the father who
has cherished her as his lle--that she has turn
ed her face away from the altar of home, from the
nest of her infancy, and put herself into the hands
of man whom her parents dare not trust.
We need hardly remark-+that marriage is the
great event of woman's life, from which all other
events take their colcuring. If she err here, her
whole life is one Of unavail!ng penance, of scaldg
tears, OF sharp and blghted sorrow. She cannot
go back and undo her fault; she does not look to
the future, for it is all dcsolate to her. These
things being So it follows that young lady should
yield her hand and heart only after the most pru-
dent and cautiOusncss Of forethought. She should
avail herself of the wisdom and experience Of
those who love her. and above all of her parents,
and after all, she will feel that the chances are
sufficiently numerous that she may still make an
unwise choice.
But, lin most ciandcstine marriages the girl is a
child, ignorant Of the world; without experience
deficient in judgement, her mind probably filled
with false notions and fancy day-dreamS, derived
from novels and romances. She meets with a
young at u party or ball. or no matter
where, who seems interested in her, and she is
fattered by his apparent admiration. He con-
ducts her home calls on her the next day, repeats
the call, and hcnceForth they are in love, if they
were not at the first glance They have become
the Romeo and Juliet of what is play in the out
set but a tragedy in its close.
The incompetence Of the young girl to estimate
the character of her lover is perfectly apparent to
every one but herself 1t is enough for her that
he appears to love her sincerely and arlenty. lie
proposes marriage to her, and Is probably accepted
without reference to parents. He entreats that an
early day may be named for their union. If there
is any doubt of her parents concurrence, this is
granted / al Il; Icul
ties threaten to interpOse elopement is the next
question a9itated and agreed to. They are consUl-
ed by the thought that there is something roman
tic in a runaway match, and that such things are
rather praised than condemned; and besides after
all is over, it Will not be difficult to make up with
father and mother
rejecting woman would see that the young
man who sues for her love without the sanction Of
her parents, gives prima focie evidence that some
thing iswrong about him, something that shunS
the light and fears investigations \ woman in
her right mind woull say: "My parents | know
and confde in they love and my happiness;
their lot i'll life is bound up with mine; so that it
err, they will be wretched. They shall be my
counsellOrs. | will not trust my own too partial
eye to investigate my lovers character, and will
refer it to them" Such would be any prudent
girls course, and such a course would seldom if
ever, end i'll an elopcment.
But such is not the course Of the large class of
young girls who figure in runaway matches And
the consequence is that such girls fall easy prey
to the thousands of gcnteel loafers-worthless
portionless, and heartless vagrants-who contrive
to keep respectable exterior b. preying upon So
ciety.
While we write these lines, we think of the
mulutudes of young men and thoughtleSs girls
who have fallen into such hands, and foun d. after
few mouths Of married life, their terrible mistake
They see, when it is too late-they realize.
when there is no remedy for it, they have plung-
ed into an abyss of misery, instead OF stepping ill.,
to the heaven of earthly bliss; and now. casting
themselves once more upon the parental bosom,
cxelaim, in concert of agony, Would to God we
had never wandered hence"