The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1861-05-09
WHAT NOT?

IT is only those that have done nothing. who
fancy they can do everything.
Coon manners sometimes make asa ippres.
sion like personal beauty.
A bachelor goologist is acquaiatc ted with all
rocks except "rock the cradle"
''MATcHLEss misery" has been defined to
be having cigar and nothing to light it with
ARTISTS may not be guilty of direct false
hoods, but they generally give things a color
How immensely would our conversation be
abridged if all man kind would only speak the
truth.
VERY GOOD DOMESTIC TOAsT~-"May your
coffee and the ISLANDERS against you be ever
atike-without grounds.
TIE golden everlasting chain" described
by Homer as reaching from heaven to earth.
and embracing the whole moral world, was no
fable. That chain is love,
"FRsT boy, state what were the dark aces
| of the world" Boy hesitates "Nevt Masier
Jones. can you tell me what the dark ages
were! The ages before gas was invented .
THERE is a miscalled pride, so near akin to
selhshness | cannot choose between If the
man love refuse my aid. I needs must think
us that when my turn shall come may expect
no aid from him.
TIE reason why persons, under certain cir
cumstances, as iutoXication or agitation from
fear see objects double, is, that they have lost
the power OF directing Alright the axes of both
eyes toward one object,
Many poor woman thinks she can do no.
thing without husband, and when she gets
one, hnd5 she can do nothing with him.
Snake is a great preventive against frost. A
fire OF damp rubbish placed at each corner of a
garden during the night VIII suffice to keep off
frost.
As the sword of the best tempered material is
the most flexible, SO the truly generous orn tbe
most plant and courageous
The most untowaya circumstances have often
! the happiest results. It is not fortune that is
| blind, but man.
A LUNAR BEAU.-Says an astronomer to q
! bright-eyed girl, when talking of rainbows
! did You ever see a lunar bow. nissp"-,si
have seen beau by moonlight, il that's what
you mean, was the sly Iejginder.
Ayoung lady complained that she had lost
part OF her earring, and she thought il must
have been at church. "a bad place, miss to
have lost your hearing al at said an old SER
want, to whom she was relating her loss.
CONE AND DRyK.-Bulwer calls a newsna.
per the common reservoir into which every
stream pours its living waters and at which
every man may come to drink" A good many
men would never drink unless the editorials
were full of spirit
How OLD ARE WE To-DAY?-Two old 10.
dies, who we know TO be Of the same age. had
the same desire 20 keep the real number CON
cesledi one, therefore, used always upon a New
Years day to go to the other, and say, .Mabam
l am come TO know how old we are to be this
year, -''~
AIsER's CHARITT.-An iIliterate person who
! always volunteered togo round with the hat >
but was suspected of sparing his own pocket
overhearing once hint to that effect replied
"Other gentlemen puts down what they think
proper and so dol Charity'sa private concern
aud what give is a0tiiag 10 no5ody"
SoUND REAsoNING.-In a recent case for as
sault, the defendant pleaded guilty. ~ tbinL
must be guilty, said he, because the Main
tiff and l were the only ones there were in tbe
room; and the first thing I knew was that
was standing up, and he was doubled over The
table. You'd better call it guilty"
The world, though rough, is, after all, ii,
pest sehoolmaster-better than study, for /
makes man his own teacher As Gibbon said
livery person has two educations-one whicl
ne receives from others, and one chow impor
tant y which he gives to himseIEn
liz who goes through a land, and scatter
blown roses, may be tracked NEXT do1, NV tLo
withered petals that strew the ground. I,t III i
. who goes through it, and scatters rose-seed
hundred Years after leaves behind him Ian
tulI OF fragrance and beauty for his monnmant
and as heritage for his daughters and sons,