The daily exchange. [volume] (Baltimore, Md.) 1858-1861, 1861-05-28

lc0SlAu sIcA RED.

lcoAausIcArED.1
Messrs. Editors:-The Anti-Slavery coercion sd-
ministration has at length won over the so-called
"Unon' party of this State to its nefar ious poll
cy. They have "consul'ed" over the case of Ma
ryland, and the patient is pronounced ''out of
DANGER" and has only "to keep quiet" and all
will be well.
The plan of these worthless is borrowed from the
treatment of the lrish" by the Wings and Tories of
England, so graphically pictured by Tom Moore.
Will you repubish his squib for it suits the times
and proves Moore to have been prophet as we'll as
poet
One or two words only have been altered froE
the original to make it perfectly appropriate to tn,
present Occasion:
"rHE CONSULTATION From Tom Jfoore.)
Edition of 1861.
"When they do agree their unanimity is won
derful."-THE Critic.
Scene discovers DR.. Union and DR.. North IN Con-
sultation.-Patient on the Floor Jet,reen them.
DR.. Union.-This wild South ern patient does pes.
ter me so,
That what to do with him, Pm cursed if know
Pve promised him anodynes -
DR.. North.-Anodyn esl-Stuf.
Tie him down-gag him well-he'll be Tranquil
enough.
That's my mode of practice
DR.. Union True, quite in your line
l But unluckily not much, till lately, in mine.
IT'S painful -
DR.. North-Pooh, nonsense-ask Ude how lie
feels,
When, far Epicure feass, he prepares his live eds
BY finging them in 'twixt the bars of the fire.
And letting them wriggle till thew tire
lie too, says 'ts painlur'-"quite makes his
But "your eels vile oleaginous breed"
He would fan use them gently, but cookery sa,s
ono"
And, in short, ees were born to be treated lust 81.
Tis the same with these Southrons, odd,r
fish STILL
Your soft Union heart shrinks from using them il.
|. myself in my youth, ere came to get WISE
Used, at some operations, to blush to the ewes:
But, in fact, my dear bCother,-if | may maze
bold
To STYLE you as Peachum did Lockt of DID,
W. Doctors must act with the firInness of Ude
And callous like him,-so the fish is but stewed-
Must torture live PATRIoTs for the general good
Here patient groaas and kicks a little
Dr. Union-3ut what if ones patients so devil
ish peryerse,
! That he won't be thus tortured?
| DR.. North.-CoERCE, SIR, GEORGE.
cure juvenile performer, but once you BEGIN
You can't think bow fast you may train yoir
hand in;
| And (smtling) who knows but old North NAV ts;e
| to the shelf
With the comforting thought that, in place and n
pelf,
He's su cceeded BY one Just as-bad as himselfI
DIR; Union (iooking .fattered) Why, to tell yor
the truth. I've a small matter here
Which you help'd me to make for my patert
last year.
Goes to cupboard and brings out It 81. at ,gais-
coat and gag.
And such rest I've enjoyed from his raving sine,
then.
That Eve made up my mind he shall acear 1t
again.
Dr. North, (embrac,ng him oh, charming! Nv
- dear Doctor Union, you're treasure.
Next to torturing myself, to help you is pleasure.
Assisting DR.. Union
machines;
There, tighter-the gag in the mouth, by all means
Deiightful! AIS snug-not a squeak need Won
| tear,-
You may now put your anodynes off till next
year. [Scene closes
Query.-Ought not Dr.. Union to have big fee
| from the Federal Treasury? q