The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1861-05-16
WEAT NOT Z?

How to get money--Ger situation in the
mint
A good man is kinder to his enemy than a
bad man is to his friend
No man ever protested TO contemn women
! till he was conscious ofIheir contempt
Alas! the rarity Of charity !" exclaimed q
/ pauper upon receiving q hs!f cooked piece of
steak.
The man who was 'lost in slumber," found
bis way out on a night-mare
man when hois "hard up, !" is mostly dOwn
in the world
They who "pine" in their youth can never
look spruce" in their old age.
0dd-that rivers should be so full lust where
they empty themselves.
A bad hat taken to an evening party fire.
/ quently comes out the next day as good as new.
Many institutions are improperly called SEM;
nar'es, for they do not half teach anything
1t is waste Of material to put five dollars
worth Of beaver On ten cents worth of brains
A secret is my slave as long as I keep it IN.
der;a secret is my master the moment it es-
capes from me.
Politeness is like an air cushion, there NAV
be nothing solid in ii, but it eases the Joints
/ W wonderfully.
/ Seeing cellar nearly finished a waggish
fellow remarked that it was an excellent found
alton for story.
"Who is that with Miss Flint" said a waga
TO his companion, 20, that is a spark which
she has struck
Mn Jones says the sunshine Of smiling face
/ VIII gid rythine-but cold mutton.
pitch Darkness" has been SO improved in
latter times as 10 read "bituminous obscurity."
It is an old rroverb that boys will be bovs.''
w nat a pity it isn't equally as true that men
will be men.
Mrs Darlington makes SHAKESPEARE saw
Sweet are the uses Of advertisements" It's
so-if he didn't say it.
Jim, how does the thermometer stand to.
day?" '''e' 7''0 "
Ours stands on the mantel-piece, right agin
the plasterjng,
A.gooi many of the flying rumors now-a-days
ing off the FIRST letter.
fellow having pair of boots that die not
lit him remarked that he should think he might
sell them'aS they had been half soied once.
A word Of kindness is seldom spoken in vain
it IS seed which even dropped by chance
springs up a flower.
=, Why is bad slot Ike an amusing fellow:
because ne IS the boy to keep the game alive
Of what use is it that woman can prate
about Bacon, II she cannot sock pork?
A gentleman asked one Of the Massachusetts.
volunteers how many were going from the Sta+n
ing" a. ''' ago
Don't st above your business as the 10
dy said to the shoemaker who was neaerr; -
her ankle IN order to ascertain the size az bai
foot. VI he'
| A Western paper speaks of a man who "dief
without the aid Of a physician" Such instan
ces OF death are very rare.
Pat gave his testimony in the riot case as fol
lows. as iO'
BE jabers; the first man l see coming at m,
was two brickbats."
VIII you marry me, miss ~
mo indeed,you are too funny for my taste
can take jest, but not jester"
DO you like Goldfish balls, Mr.. Wigrip?"
. ! really don't know, miss; never recollec
attending one
q very plous old gentleman told his sons not
Shper any circumstances, to 90 a fishing on th,
fish ''4No Noiile tn'
AN old farmer in Essex was anxious to bay,
his pastor dismissed and was asteJ ~ D rao
son ''N9a inc Iea
We heard say, was the reply, that chang,
OF pasture makes fat calves, and SO I'm for the
change" : - '0i TIE