The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1861-07-03


nnhesitatingly replied flung myself
in the dust at her feet, and implored
her forgiveness and reconciliation OF
| God"
| "You might have done it, and it
had been better but 4 could not; my
whole nature was so unstrained, I'M
schooled, so unused to repentance and
humiliation, so enslaved by passion
and will. I determined to rid myself
of her entirely, to rid myself Of even
| all fear of her. / had not the heart to
take her life. | did not dare to, for
the dead do tell their tales, and cry
out loudly for vengeance; so l let her
live on, but made her life far worse
tkan death. / said she was insane !;
that she was mad when she told of her
| wrongs that her mind wal sick and
wandering among terrible decisions,
and there were some who believed the
cunning tale | pursuaded the doctor
to call her mad, and paid them hire
for il. Then I tore her from the home
she loved, tore her from her children,
and locked her in a bedIan. And /
thought she would surely go mad
there, and l should be justified by the
world, and aafe from her forever. JUS
tilted by the world 1t kept silence,
but held my breath in agony at its
dark suspicious and its smothered
fame. Safe from my wife
81 never was so in fear of her be-
fore-in fear of her escape, in fear that
her tale of wrong might be listened to
and believed in fear of know not
what. And the wretched woman,
scarce one minute in the day, was she
absent from my mind. When | en-
tered my home, my first thought was,
She is not here, she will meet me
here no more When / sat down to
my table. there was her empty place
and where was she who had filed it
She would never fill it again / could
not eat. went to my room. There
were the chairs as she had placed them
no one must touch them, they must
not be removed even for convenience,
for she would EeVer place them so
again. I heard my children cry for
their mother. They plead with me to
bring her to them. How could still
their cries, or hear them express their
love for me, when I had 80 sel6shly
made them motherless, and knew I de.
served their hate I could not bear
their presence and rushed from them
leaving them to hirelings.
"When | was in the street, every
one I met seemed to ask, Where is
thy wife p In. business, / was dis
tracted and wandering to her for whom
I had once labored and sought success.
E" At night, no cheek pillowed itself
against mine, and when after long and
painful restlessness troubled sleep
came, it was only that I might dream
of my poor victim weeping her hope
less tears on a mean pallet in a mani
ac's cell. How could / dream such
dreams and live ? And when l woke
and stretched out my arms, and they
came back empty to my breast, it was
even worse. had meant to put my
wife where she would not trouble me.
| had no. rest from her. Her voice
was ever in my ears sometimes speak
ing her old words Of love, sometimes
her just complaints, sometimes plead
ing for her children, sometimes
for release from her living death.
Would that voice never be hushed.
Could / never stop my ears to it ? No
neuer! I have heard it from that
time always. | hear it now. l shall
hear it through eternity. Her voice
was very soft and musical, and it is SO
now and yet it jars nay nerves more
than the worst discord.l
Is your wife still living 7"
She is-and it seems as if she
would never die. | have thought il
she would / might have peace, | might
be from her voice, or perhaps from her
shadow and then I have feared thai
death would only make the voice Sc
pulchral, and turn the shadow to q
real ghost"
"Have you ever visited her in the
mad house ?"
"Yes-and she rushed to meet me,
and chung around my neck and kissed
me more fondly than when girl She
loved me as of old, spite of all the
wrong she had borne from me, and
would have forgiven all and come back
TO me as she came at first, but I was
still afraid of my good name. There
was even more danger than before
The last wrong, instead of hiding the
rest, had only added to them, and it.
self outweighed them all. Wretch and
william as / was / pitied my poor wife;
but | felt that / could not release her
/ / cnuld not rive har hack to Ler chill.