Democrat and sentinel. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1853-1866, 1861-08-07
From the HOME JOURNAL.
MATRIMONIAL INFELICITI ES.
BY Az IRRITABLE MAN.


at a rather late hour on Saturday evening.
There what is again Z! l asked.
why, your staying out till midnight, and
eating oysters she replied.
Not an OYSTER 1 said; you are much mis-
taken if you think have tasted of any. All
have partaken of since breakfast this morning
has been bite of the rations of our artist soldier
friend of the Seventh, and sip of elderberry
wine
Has the Seventh regiment returned home 2
asked my wife.
1t has, answered, and a noble aud hearty
reception it received
what tine did it arrive p my wife inquired
'Oh, about four O'clock said; but the sol
diers didn't reach the armory till late in the
evening. So l concluded to stay down town
and welcome friend
Yes that is always the way she remarked;
you think nothing of staying away from your
family, witnessing all the military displays,
while 1 am obliged to remain at home, and watch
the children. And this evening while you've
been enjoying yourself listening to pleasant con-
versation, 1 have been setting up for you till my
head aches, and am ready to fall asleep
Then Why 1 said, did you not 50 to bed p
Now, if there be one thing l dislike more than
another, it is to have my wife sit up for me when
l am out 1 wish to gracious women would
know enough to so to bed when they are slee-
py.'
4 shall, probably replied my wife, follow
such course in future, for there is no telling
what will suit you, 1 sometimes think 1 will,
endeavor to please you, but will do everything
for my own gratifcation.'
Very well, 1 replied, you suit yourself and,
of course, will be satisfied
To-day, for instance my wife continued
you said you would be home early, and wished
me to have dinner for you at five o'clock. 1 dill
have it ready for you, and what is more L had
one which knew you would ike. Some of the
dishes prepared; but five o'clock came and my
lord did not make his appearance. He was look
ling at the Seventh Regiment marching up
Broadway, and never gave Thought to his poor
wife at home, who was waiting dinner for him
and worrying her life almost out because forsooth
it was spoiling.'
What! the dinner or the life p 1 asked cru
ely.
Both, my lord,' she answered.
Proceed my lady, your lord is all attention.
said.
1 have nothing more to say she added, fand
now 1 think 1 will retire. Coed night
But exclaimed, L have not Leen TO dinner
yet, and l don't think it would be justiable for
you to 90 to bed and leave me here to starve for
If there be one thing dislike more than another
! it is to be starved to death.
Il think she answered, that there is very
little fear of your ever coming to that pass. You
know where the refrigerator is, and you can help
yourself to anything you find in it. l not
going to set the table and get dinner for you aft
er midnight. Besides, you told me. think, that
you had been dining with the artist soldier of the
Seventh off of his rations. If that is the case,
1 don't see why you should want another din
| ner'
| Good graciousr exclaimed, L only said l
had "a bite You don't think 1 could make a
meal off of salt corred beef and stale bread, do
you?'
! why not if your friend, who is quite par
tial, and accustomed to more delicate fare than
| you are, could 2
'Oh, that is very WELL replied, 'for you to
say; but remember, he is used to it by this time
while 1 am not By the way, 1 brought home
for your especial delectation, bit of the ratione
J ferred to-there 1t is; help YOURSELF
WELL exclaimed my wife regarding the meat
with evident surprise and repugnance. they
| have cut it the wrong way
Oh replied, L imagine it matters very lit
tie to the soldiers in which MANNER it is cut. if
they get enough ofit.'
You don's meal to say my wife added, that
our friend who paints such elegant landscapes,
] has lived on such food ever since he has been a
way?'
'Imean to say / replied, that that bit of
| corned beef is an excellent sample of what the
government provides for the soldiers. The quail
ty of it, l am assured, is better than what is
! ally given out. If any private soldier has had
better food than that, he has been obliged to pay
for it out of his pocket ! am inclined to
think that some of cur poor fellows don't get
even enough of inferior rations.'
Then they must have 4 hard time,' said my
wife, and the government. is TO blame l have
great mind TO offer my services as cook to ons
| of the regiments
That would be extremely patriotic said
but il seems TO me that patriotism, like charity
should begin at home. And as L happsL to be
greatly in want of something to eat at this mo-
ment, wish you would get it for me-
Can't you get it YOURSELF she replied, just as
well as for me to go down stairs to the refrigda
tor at this late hour. l am tired, and half sick
| and don't feel as if l could take a single steI
more than is absolutely necessary.
Very well,' answered, Il will get II mvself
but 30 not see the use Of your sitting up for me