Holmes County farmer. [volume] (Millersburg, Ohio) 1857-1926, 1861-01-03
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lTENI 8.

ters OF half the world.
The lady who fell back on her dignity
came near breaking it.
HE love that has nothing but beauty
TO sustain it soon withers and dies.
A MAN may be called poverty stricken
when be is knocked down by beggar.
MEN are often deserted in adversity.--
When the sun sets our shadows refuse to
follow us
The greatest coward may avoid shak-
ing in his boots by wearing shoes or go ing
barefooted.
"THEsE women are very troublesome"
as the hog remarked when the lady ran
against him.
A man excused himeelf 70, marrying
by saying that his friends said he drank
too much for single man.
"Sir, you have broken your promise"
ooh never mind, can make another Just
as good"
"Will you marry me, Miss?" "No,
indeed, you are too funny for my taste;
can take jest, but not jester"
MoRE than one thousand years ago the
Chinese built suspension bridges Of more
than four hundred feet span.
The South Carolina Railroad has turn
ed off two hundred men for want. of the
means to keep them employed
We are often more cruelty robbed by
, those who steal into our hearts than by
those who break into our houses.
The events of to-day have more inter-
est for us than those of yesterday. So
men are fast giving up books for news
papers.
SENECA says that love is a disease. 1t
seems sometimes, to be a combination of
dseases--an affection of the heart and
s inflammation Of the brain.
n The darkest scene we ever saw was a
g darkey in a dark cellar, with an extin-
, guished candle, looking after a black cat
, that wasn't there.
:; PAT O'FLAaERTY said that his wife was
,, very ungrateful, for when / married her
she hadn't rag to her back, and now
n she is covered with 'em."
A MAN went to judge to be qualified
9 for an office. The judge said, "Hold up
. your hand, I'll swear you. but all cres-
" ton couldn't qualify you"
"My lad" said lady to boy carry
l. ing the mail, are you the mail boy?"-
"You doesn't think Pm female boy,
k does ye ma'am?' .......
II Those who would enjoy good eating
should keep good-natured; an angry man
can't tell whether he is eating boiled
NJ cabbage Or stewed umbrella.
l. He who writes against the abuses of
J. the age in which he lives, must depend
IS on the generosity of the few for his bread
e and the malice of many for his fame.
= Miss ALICE YELL cowhided Mr.. Lay, of
'e u Camden, for promising to marry her and
,e not performing it. AS he wouldn't make
:, her Lay she made him Yell.
~ A DRUNKEN man lately tried to get a
" policeman to arrest his own shadow. His
complaint was, that an Unlocking scoun-
drel kept following him.
IN AYoUNa lady down East advertises for
N the young man that "embraced an oppor-
n, tunity," and says if he will come over TO
c. ther town he can do better.
~ A MANS reputation often depends on
as the place where he falls asleep. If in a
w drinking saloon, he is thought drunkard
if in church, he is regarded as a model
- of piety.
~ 1t is said of the French ladies that theil
:" fondness for effect runs to such excess,
that widows who have lost their husbands
.r- practise attitudes of despair before the
Id mirror.
A Republican. editor tried for libel, got
id off by proving he was so notorious liza,
ad that nobody believed anything he said
and therefore no injury was done to the
of plaintiff.
he AN exchange paper gives the following
I'D advice for the times: 'Live etemperately-
go to church, love all the pretty girls
marry one of them--live like a man and
lat die like christian.
diy "PATRIoK," said Judge, "what dt
IN you say to the charge, are you guilty ol
'ly not guilty?" "Faith, that is difficult fol
ce; your honor to tell let alone myself. Wal
or till hear the evidence"
~. AN Irishman having looking glas
~ in his hand shut his eyes and placed
hu before his face Another asked him VIII,
o. he did so? "Upen my SOUL" said league
bv '.it is to see how look when am asleep
er: A FRIEND of our was congratulatin
me himself upon having taken very plea
to ant trip. Upon inquiry, we learned th
en- he had tri pped and fallen into ayoun
bo- lady's lap.
'uI % "I'll teach you to play pitch and tosl
oy I'll fog you for an hour, l will. ."-'Fatl
err instantly replied the incorrigible, ,
he balanced a penny on his thumb an
III r"' finger, "Pll toss you to make it tw
ne hours or nothingV ...... ....
,I', ,I. at seems," observed one dandy to an
,"o ~" other, at party, "that they give no sup
=. "" per tonight" To which the other reptile
=" "Then stop my expenses" and COOL
took off his new pair of gloves.
Good men are human suns! they bright
ars en- and warm wherever they pass. The
ID are not often sung by poets when the
lie, die; but the hearts they heal and the
It | own conscience are their reward.
t / A Drove Of hogs were recetly carrie
ols into the air some twenty feet, by the blow