Spirit of the age. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1849-1865, 1861-02-06
Ahout Getting Married.

We commend the following most sensible +
and truthful observations, taken from the
"Widc World" to all young people who con-
template matrimony:
Hundreds Of our young men would be glad
TO get married and settle down into steady
husbands, il they were not discouraged by the
fancied bill Of expenses necessary to keen a
married couple and an increasing family alom
There is considerable cause, certainly for a
young mans terror, at this time, when he
contemplates the important change Of his
manner Of life. We have heard and read
much about the degeneracy of the times. and
the folly of latter day youth, in relation to
marriage, and with some can't there is much
truth in It. Our society has run into such
vagaries that young men and young women
an a majority of cases are totally untitled to
unite their lives for "along pull a strong
pull, and apull altogether" There are many
fair weather soldiers among the new re-
cruits OF this generation, and though they
look well enough in the dress parades of the
counting days, they shrink with horror from
the campaigns Of actual service, when called
upon to bear the charge of infantry, to face
the deadly field piece, or to venture into the
ambush of a Oeadle lecture. They do not
life with right views either Of their
W or Of their companions capacity in
fact, they do not consider at all upon the hard
way Of life when in the poetical moonshine
OF love they look forward to matrimonial en-
joyments.
A young man commences life, becomes
somewhat prosperous. and is able to support
handsome bachelor lodgings. lie may have
been reared in comparative opulence, and
yet set forth for himself witheut assistance
from has father; he may have drifted with
the current from the country, and being
blessed with energy and perseverance foster
cd on the free hills, worked bis way steadily
along, step by step, until he feels a degree of
independence, which blunts his appetite for
progress He moves in good society, visits
at the houses OF the rich, who may have crept
along emily a few gears in advance OF him
Then when he begins to think of getting
married, he cannot bring his mind to a prop
er commencement. Society's chain binds
him he canRot think Of a household one
whit less complete than has friend has, though
he has been twenty years in business, and
-hMs-reared sons and daughters. He must
have a whole swell-front house, and in a fash
ionable section; At must be furnished expen-
sively without regard to the exchequer OF the
new family, SO that well-tO-do f icnds who
come to make visit shall Gnd nothing lack
ing for their entertainment. The lady of the
house must not have too much to do with
the kitchen, for it would be scandalous the
gentleman must not split his kindling. wood,
Cor that would be outrageous
Such n style Of living consumes the whole
salary Of our prosperous young man, without
counting the deterioration in the value of his
wiles tr0usseaU. Perhaps the two ends o.
the year will not meet; there is a fearful gar
at the cOnnscting point If our young friend
is sensitive and sensible, and prone to think
ing, he must conc down a peg-reduce hi
household expenses, or sell out and ~ t
boarding. Now this is discouraging; it is
wet blanket on the hopes Of every young mai
WV
comes to be considered a luxury in whic
only the rich can indulge-which a man mus
put off until he attains an advanced stage q
his prosperity.
We consider this all wrong. There shout
be young men and young women of sens
enough to reform il. In this practical az
this ulatrimoHia business is a contract i
which the reason, as well as the emotion
should play a part. God intended woma
to be mans help, the marriage relation to b
his joy-yes, his relief and not simply
responsibility which be must assume as
member Of society, only burdensome an
Improbable. He,should 6rst cut his ow
garment according to his cloth, and then r
fuse to join hands with woman, until he fnt
one ready TO help him along, to leok realit
in the face, to go with through the shade
as cheerfully as through thesunshine. Mar
such are left yet there are more as tn,
grow older, while their maiden dreams "a
away, and their maiden ianeies settle in
something like theories Of life. Encoura
this class friend you have been too rea
to snap up the others, leaving these to ST
for themselves. But you need not outra
your feelings. The responsibility rests W
you, young man. Any woman, who To-
you win be reasonable. You are too apt
lead off In all light %vanities ; TO put the b
side out, to withhold the truth, and finally
allow . sudden misfortune to embitter
lives Of those whose faces you might
wish the wiEds Of heaven to visit too rouy
ly. If you would form q partnership
your line of business, probably you wo
exercise your judgment, and make it pa
you could. No partnership is so import
as that partnership for life, which should
founded upon reason, and blessed with b
love.
BLAcKwooD RoR JANUARY.-We have
aatvu1 c-A-. NJ - - ~