Wilmington journal. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1844-1895, 1861-04-04
SUIT LOvengoOd Travels with Old Abe his Conf
Dental Friend Adviser.

SUIT LOvengoOd Travels with Old Abe as his Conf
Dental Friend and Adviser.
When told you, George, that were agwine tu trav
e. with ole Abe Linkhorn you thought / were lyin,
but now ye see I'm here amt =? st struck across
the country and kotchd up with him at Harrisburg,
(durn sich place, say and hev stuck clost to the
ole Wndin Blades till got him safe intu this heer tav.
rim, they call hit 'Willards' an I'm durn eff the ole
boss owe the house amt judge Ticker. I've tasted
hit, l has, I'll tell ye auuther thing, ole Windin
Blades am sleepin in the same rune what dreamed
owe in one thousand eight hundred fifty six, whar
Ole Buck played that orul game of kerds with Fill an
Fremont for the Presidents cheer hit, toO and
be prides hsself in sttin in hit by durn site more nor
them dus what sot him thar. But as l wer agwine tu
tell, IS wer gttin thru Badtmore seed eler sit
tin ontu barrel film at the lock owe burned Old
revolving pstil Sez l, mister, ye gwne to war
Yes sez he I'm gwine to bore old Abes yeers fur him
es he along went piece further an seed anoh-
er tat ole tub cuttin cheese with nife foot long
That's moDsous nlfe, mister sez |. Y-a-w, sez he,
means til feel old Abe's haslets with hit, sez be- |
rocked along an seed another feller rubin bre orfu
cannon; 1t wer as big es pump log. Gwine to shute
sez Not ji8t yit sez be- measurin my hie heft
with bis eye. When are ye gwine tn shute ef l mout
be SO bold +? Day arter tu-m0rrow, SCI he I'm list
gwine tn take old be in the place what fust etches
boss, an dam eff he don't lite beyant Washintun, hit il
be that this yere powder ant good, an he dipped up
tin cup full outen barrel and poured hit back like hit
wer whisky. Jst about this time the deur got un Ter
my har that BadimOre warnt much tn speak owe, fur
ole Wndin Blades, that they ment tn hev funeral
outen him when he got thar. 80 put out tn meet him
tell owe the ime rath tn cum the orfu tribu
lashun barreled up fur his vidder, and that promsn
sun Bob owe hisn. Now George Bob may make
monsOus fine man, don't say be acont but es boy
mind, say, es boy,-Im id eff | fancy him bit
Sum feler will turn him inside out of these days.
see ef he don't who knows but hit would improve the
little crtter He can't live es he is, that's surtin. WE'LL
when | told ole Windn Blades what | had seed and
hearn his eyes sOrer bulg lged sorter spread his
mouf sWelled out sez he, hant prepared to die
Sutty, my he calls Sutty when be wants help
an Mister Lovengo0d when he's got his dignity on an
paSSel OF fiat backs him he feels good an safe
Il hes dun the things | hadn't orter, ef ondun the
things had Crer," here he hung down his ned and
studied long time, while sot still tuck gneral
observation of President, if he aint long an
narrow wun I'm burned. His mouf, his paw, an his
foote's am the prlncp eeters an his strkn pint is the
way them lags hizen gets inter his body. They
goes in each aidge sorter like the prongs goes ntu
pitch fork Owe all the burned skeery ookin ole cusses
fur president ever seed he decidedly the durndest
He looks like yaller ladder with half the rungs knock
ed out kotch ole bull frog druv nail thru his
lips inter post, tied two rocks tn his hne toes and
stuck darnn needi inter his tail tn let out the mix
ture, and let him thar to dry l seed him two weeks
arterwords and when seed ole Abe thot hit were an
orful retribushun cum onto me, that hit the
same frog, only stretched little longer had tuck
to "earn close to keep from KNOWN him. kechiin
him an nalln him up agn, natra born durn'd fool
es is, swar seed the same watry skeery look in the
eyes, and the sorter knots on the back. I'm teard,
George sumthlns tu cum owe my nain up that frog,
| sWar | am since seed ole Abe, same shape,
color, iee cod as ice) an I'm durn'G eff hit
amt the same smell Sumthn orul is tn happen me in
spite owe these yere lalgs, much as l pends EN-,
see eff hit don't. Well, arter he had studied and
sighed, and sorter groaned, long me be rs his head
up and SCI he, Suty what had [ best to do in this
orul emergency? The party can't spare me now, be-
sides amt tit tn die, and my whiskers have st begun
to grow, and want to try the vttils in Washintun
City, hit wont du to let be made sitter by these
seseshun beits st at this tme will it Sutty, my
Sez |, Mr. Lnkhorn Ise kalled a natral born durn'd
fool in Tennessee, but think ken averdge in these
parts purity WE'LL an ef ye will jst put yesef onder my
keer an ef ole Scott Gums a ciuckin about with bis
wings train, or ole SeaWard Gums whinin an a
smeln an scrachn onder the door, is gin the tavrin
keeper the hint to hist thur coas with his boot that
you'll pay for ton one OF EN- ef he busts en- Ill be
stitutOnally, sirkums antiaIy, iudiscrimnately
burned ef | don't put you safe tn bed with MisslS
Linkhorn at Wizards 1avrin. III du hit ; dye
see these yere laigs an | hit one strait out
abuv the lamp what sot ontu the tab. He looked at
me mourntuly fur mint, an his eyes over,
he, Sutty, my son. I'll du hit, old Abe won't le SO
gin your order an fix things now | feel like will be
President yit be pulled out pint botel from onder
the piler the bed, an be measured hit with his
thumbs, one the other from the bottom tn the
top the whisky so thar wer list seven thumbs
he then measured back four and ht the last thumb fast
the neck the botte in ondel his nose about
tour inches, when he turned hit up agn thar half
inch car day lite onder the thumb, he sot hit onto
the tabil. When be kotch his breff sez be- never in
courages eny to drink, but thars the botel ht
hes your uhisky an hit l took aboard the balance,
did, an we went tn bed. Now how got him 10 Wash
inun iii tell yu the Lext time we meet. Good bye
Say, George ye never seed ole Abe, did ye? We'll yove
missed site Nur Bob? No Nur the ole 'oman
No Well Ise sorry fur you, fur you amt yet reddy tn
die.