The Van Buren press., 1861-03-27
Transcendental Elouuence.


delivered in the Missouri House of Repre-
sentatives. February 8, will well repay pc
rusal. The man who cannot find in it
hearty laugh, has "no music in his SOUL"
and is only fit for " treason. stratagem and
spoils," and must needs be another Cata-
line or JEFF Davis:
Mr.. Riley obtained the floor, and address
scd the House:
Mr.. SPEAKEY Everybody is pitching
into this matter like toad frogs into will
low swamp, on q lovely evening in the
balmy mouth of June, when the mellow
ligh: of the full moon fills with delicious
food the thin. ethereal, atmospheric air.
OF peyhaty : MA and half.
There seems to be disposition to fight.
/ say, if there is any lighting to be done,
come on with your corn-cobs and lightning
bugs Applause. In the language Of
the ancient Roman.
Come one come all This rock shall fly
From its firm base-in apigs eye!"
Now. there has been o great deal Of bonn
bast here. to day. call it bombast, from
" Alpha " to " Omega" Il don't under.
stand the meaning of the words thought
Sir, the question 10 refer is q great and
magnificent question. 1t is the all absorb
ing question: like sponge. sir-a large.
unmeasurable sponge. of globe shape, in q
tumbler of water--it sucks up everything.
Sir. l stand here. with the weapons have
designated. to defend the rights Of ST Louis
county, the rights Of any other county
even the county of Cedar itself. Laughter
and applause. Sir, the debate has assum-
ed a latitudinosity. We have had little
black jack buncombe, little two-bit bun
combe. bombast buncombe. bunghole bum
come, and the devil and his grandmother
knows what other kind Of buncombe.-
Laughter.
Why. sir, just give some of 'cm little
Southern soap and little Northern water,
aud quicker than hound pup can lick
skillet. they will make enough buncombo
lather to wash the golden flock that roams
abroad the azare mead OF heaven. (Checrs
and laughter. allude to the starry firm
sment.
The Speaker.-The gentleman is out Of
order. He must confne himself to the ques-
ton.
MIR. Riley-Just retain your linen. if you
please. Ill stick to the text as close as
pitch plaster to pine plank. or q lean pig
to hot jan. rock. Cries Of "Go on -
+" You'll do"
want to say to these carboniferous gen.
tlemen. these igncous indiyiduals, these
detonating demonstrators, these pereginous
volcanoes, Come ON with your combusti-
of Mexico through goose.qullI. l'Lahgh:
ter and applause.l Perhaps you think
am diminutive tubers and sparse in the
al
gentlemen. you are laboring under as great
a misapprehension as though you had incin.
Grated your inner vestment. In the Ian
guage Of the noble bard:
Il was not born in a thicket
To he scared by cricket"
[ Applause
Our proper position is to the zenith and
the other, at right angles with the horizon
spanned by that azure arc of the lustrous
armament. bright with the corruscations,
and proud as speckle6 stud horse on coun-
ty court day. [Checrs.
But how are the mighty fallen II in
the language of the poet Siiyersmith. Wo
have lost our proper position. We have as
sumed sloshindicular or chronological
position. And what is the cause? Echo
answers, " Buncombe," sir. buncombe."
The people have been fed on buncombe,
while lot OF spawned. ring-boned. ham
strung, wind CALLED, swineyed. split-hoofed.
distcmperod, poll-eviled, pot-bellied poll
| ticlans have had their noses in the public
crib, until there ain't fodder enough left to
make Cruel for sick grasshopper. Cheers
and laughter.
Sir. these hungry brats keep tugging at
the public pap. They say, Let down
your milk, Suckv, or you'll have . split
bag" Do you think they can stuff such
buncome down our craw? No. sir; you
might as well try to stuff butter in wild
cat with hot awl. Continued laughter.
The thing can't be did.
The public grindstone is q great institu.
ton. sir-yes, sir. great institution. One
Of the greatest. perhaps, that ever rose.
reigned, or iell. But, sir, there is too much
private cutlery ground. The thing won't
pay. Occasionally big axe is brought in
to be fixed, ostensibly for the purpose Of
hewing down the gnarled trunks OF error.
and clearing out the brushwood of ignor-
ance and folly, that obstruct tho public
highway OF progress. The machine whirls !;
the axe is applied. The lockers on are en-
chanted with the brilliant sparks elected.
The tool is polished keenly edged and
while the public stare in gaping expect.n-
cy Of seeing the road cleared. the imple-
ment is slyly taken off to improve the pri-
vate acres of some +" faithful friend of tho
people," What is the result? The OBJ
, structions remain unmoved. The people
curse because the car lags /; or. if it does
move. tits at the expense of a broken wheel
, and jaded and sore-backed team. ! tell
} you, the thing wont pay. The time viii
come when the nasal promontories Of these
disinterested grinders will be put to the
stone, instead of their hardware. Zap
plause.] am mighty afraid the machine
is going to stop. The grease is giving out
laundering fast. 1t is beginning to creak
on its axis. Gentlemen. it is my opinis,.
that the /" grit - is pretty near wog-. of
Applause. ,o5
Mr.. Speaker. you must excus, q me for m,
latitudinosity and circuml-. -.toriness. N,
old blunderbuss scatter.. amazingly. but
anybody gets pepper.d. it amt my fault i
they are in the wy
Sir. these dan,ladieal. supersouirtical
Q mahogany faced eentry-whatd do they NOV