The weekly Ottumwa courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1857-1872, 1861-10-02
From the Atlantic Monthy.1
Ts,e FrOnt.Teelh and the Grind

Once on tine mutiny arose among the
teeth of worthy man, in good health and
blessed with sound constitution, common
ly known as Uncle Samuel. The cutting
teeth, or incisors, and the eye teeth, or can
ines, though not nearly so many, all counted
nor so large, nor so strong as the grinders,
and by no means so white, but on the con-
trary, very much discolored, began to find
fault with the grinders as not good enough
company for them. The eys-teeth, being
very sharp and fitted for seizing and tearing
and standing out tallar than the rest, claim
cd to lead them. Presently, one of them
complained that it ached very badly, and
then another and another. Very soon the
cutting teeth, which pretended they were
supplied by the same nerve, and were proud
of it, began to ache also. They all agreed
that it was the fault of the grinders.
About this time, Uncle Samuel having
used his old tooth brush (which was never
good one, having no stiffness in the bris-
! tles) for four years, took new one, recon-
mended to him by great numbr of people
as homely but useful article. Thereupon
all the front-teeth, one after another declar-
ed that Uncle Samuel meant to scour them
which was thing they would never submit
to, though the whole civilized world was
calling on them to do so. So they all insis-
ted on getting ont of the sockets in which
they had grown and stood for so many years
But he wisdom teeth spoke up for the 9TH
ers and said,-
"Nay, there be but twelve of you front
teeth, and there be twenty of US grinders
We are tile strongest and a good deal near.
est the muscles and the joint, but we cannot
spare you. We have put up with your black
stains, your jumping aches, and your snap
pish looks, and now we are not going to lie,
you 60, under the pretcnce that you are tc
be scrubbed white if you stay. You don't
work half so hard as we do, but you can bite
the food well enough, which we can grind
so much better than you. We belong t.
each other. You must stay"
Thereupon the front-teeth, first the cani
mes or dog-teeth, next the incisors o, cutting
teeth, proceededto declare themselves out o
their sockets, and no longer belonging to tn
Jaws of Uncle Samuel,
J Then Uncle Samuel arose in his wrath an,
shut his jaws tightly together, and swore tha
he would keep them shut till those achin,
and discolorcd teeth Of his went to piece
in their sockets, il need were, rather thai
have them drawn, standing, as some ofthen
did, at the very opening Of his throat ant
stomach.
i And now, if you viii please to observe, al
those teeth are beginning to ache wors
than ever, and to decay very fast, so that
will take great deal Of gold to stop the hole
that are forming in them. But the grea
white grinders are as sound as ever, ant
will remain so until Uncle Samuel thinks
the time has come for opening his mouth
In the mean time they keep on grinding il
quiet way, though the others have had +
stop biting for long time. When Uncl
Samuel opens his mouth, they will be a
ready for work as ever; but those poor dis
colored teeth will be tender for great Will
and never be so strong as they were befor
they foolishly declared themselves out q
their sockets.
i The foregoing fable is respectfully dedica
ted to the Southern Plebs, who, under tn
lead of their "Patrician'' masters, have ese
ceded, - like their predecessors in the day
fMenenius Agrippa.
i We heard good joke perpetrated yestel
day by afriend. Said he to an acquair
tauce:
Things are really coming to pretty pas
in ojr town--all the ladies stopping at th
Exchange left the table yesterday Y
ssPossible !" said the person to whom th
remarks were addressed, greatly, surpriset
"what caused them to do so?
t"Why," responded our friend, conyincin
himself that the coast vas clear, ''they ha
finished eatingr'
The Dubuque Tines says that when Il
{ "Dubuque Grays' and jackson Guards,
j. &c tha 81 Ioyva Per;manf were welcomed