Smyrna times. [volume] (Smyrna, Del.) 1854-1987, 1861-02-14

A WESTERN NEGRO being told that the
Baths" at Chicago were intended for folks to
"wash in.' paid his quarter, and was left in the
bathroom. As he did not make his appearance
when there above an hour, he was angrily
called to by the bathkeeper, when he opened
the door and exhibited the walls of the room
covered with clothes, which he had washed
and hung up to dry, end said, " Look here -
How you talk-'d like to see you wash and
hang out two dozen pieces in less time than
I've been at! -
The Washington correspondent of the New
Orleans (La.) Delta tells the following: A
wagglsh member Of Congress asked a high
ohic'al, VINO was ridicullng the Government
OF South Carroll a, to tell him the difference
Oet"een that Government and the Government
of the United States. The Congressman be.
ing requested to answer his own question, said
the one was a Government of Pickens, while
the other was Government of steaings. The
official disappeared
Prnter's devils are generally ladies' men, not.
wlthsiandng they have pretty hard names.
Some time ago ore of these hard-name fell
lows aud his lady love were walking along,
and chatting very briskly upon the numerous
topics OF The day, when she suddenly caught his
hand, aud looking smiugly in his face, asked
. Do you know Why cannot get religion Z"
NO, my dear, do not he replied.
L" 1t is because am in love with the devil"
A FELLOW on the race course was staggering
atont with more liquor than he cOHld carry
" flalIo what is he matter now 7" said a chap
whom the inebrated individual had lust run
against.
Why-hc-why, the fact is-hic-a lot of
my trlends-hlc- have been betting liquor on
the race to day- they have got me to
hold the stakes-hc !"
a York,hireman having occasion to visit
France, was dunn foundpd to find, on reaching
Calais, that men, women, and children, all spoke
French In the height of the perpexity which
this occasioned, he retrcated 10 bed, and was
awakened in the morning by the cock crow
log, wherrupOn he burst into wild exclama.
tIon OF asonlshmenl and delight, and exclaimed,
"Thank goodness, there's English at last!"
QUAKER was out making hay on the Sab
bath; on being asked if il was not contrary 10
Scrip ure, he replied" No, there is Scripture
for 1t; and being asked for the passage, sa d
lido you not remember where it speaks of
getting beast out Of a ditch on the Sabbath! =
and receiving an answer in the affirmative,
said" ell, that is it / was no use to let him
out unless you had something for him to eat
MEMBER OF military company was, the
other day, at Utica, talking about "going to
the wars" He said if he went he would take
his child with him. 81 How will you carry it?"
asked the wife and mother. 40, strap it on
my back" said he. "Oh, DON'T" exclaimed
the wife, " for he will be the first to be shot I"
"BRIDGET, where's the gridrou!"
AN sure, ma am, is ist after giving it TO
me sisters own cousin, Bridget O'Flaher,y;
the thing go full of holes, it's good at all"
A BAsHFUL PRINTER refused situation in a
printing office where females were employed,
saying he never set up with girl in his life.
A nowN.EAsr poet has written an immense
poem on Nature, which commences: .re..
"Wiggle, wigge, pollywog,
Pretty soon you'll be frog"
A WAC seeing lady at a party with very
low-necked dress and bare arms, expressed his
admiration by saying she oulstripped the whole
party. ........
81 LIVE in Jula's eyes," sail an exquisite,
in Coemans hearing. al believe it," said
George, for she had a stye in them when
saw her last" lsa.. ....., ..-.. -.
, HERE is conuudrum got off by Nebraska
editor. Why is a Nebraska shinplaster like al
impenitent sinner Because i, does not know
that it's redeemer liveth. sa..
! Why is a chicken pie like a gunsmith's
shopi Because it contains fowl in-pieces.