Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1861-03-30
AIsTENUS WARD A,IONG THE
SBAfl EESs

Artemus Ward, in this weeks JanNy
Fair, gives some Of his experience among
the Shakers.
sot down to the table, and the female
in the meal oag poured out some tea. She
sed pothln. and fer five n.Hits the only
live thing in that room was an old wooden
cIrck which text in suodood aud bash
fui manner in the corner. This deuthiv
Stiffness made NE oneasv, and | deterninI
to talk TO the female or bust. so sez L
Marriage is agIu your rules, bteeve,
marin ?'
Iay."
The sexes liv strickly apart, srect %
"Iay."
It's kinder singiyr,' ssz I, putin on
my most sweetest lok and sp"akin in a
wInn,n voice. " that 40 fair ,aade rs rh0w
never 20, hItched 10 SUM ikcIy te.Ier -
y. B.->he was upward Of forty, aud
homeiy as stump fence, bat | thawt i
ticki! her
"l don't like men," she sed, very short.
"Naii, dunno, SEE |. "thev're "A rayth-
er important par, Of the popuiashua. |
don't scacely see how We could git along
without 'em"
is poor wimmin folks would git along
a great deal better if there was no men -
You'll! excuse me marm, but don /
think that air would work. 1t wouldn't
be regler"
= m afraid OF men - she said
That's unnecessary, marm. lou ain t
in 10 danger. "Dont fret Yourself on
that pint"
Here we're shet out from the sinful
world. Here all is peas. Here We air
brothers and sisters. We don't marry.
and consequently we have no domestic
difficulties Hnsbaps don't abooze their
wives--wives don't worrit their hssbans
There's no children here to worrit us
Nothin to worrit us here No wicked mat,
rmony here. Would thow like to be
Shaker ?''
"No.' seq 7, ait ain't my stile"
had now histed in as big load of per
vishuns as | could carry comfortable, and,
rlsanin' back in my cheer. commenst pickin
my teeth with fork. The female went
out, leavin' me all alone with the clock
hadn't sot there long b.fore the elder
poked bis head in at the door. You re
a man OF sin = he sed and groaned and
went away.
Direckly thar cum in two young Shaker
esses, rs putty and slick looking gals as
ever met, 1t is troo they was drest in
meal bags like the old one I'd meet Pre-
visly, and thar shiny silk har was hid from
sight by long white caps, such as spose
female ghosts wear: but their eyes spar
kled like dimiuds, their cheeks were like
roses, and they was charming enuF to
make a man throw stuns at his grand
mother, if they axed him to- They com
ments cIearm away the dishes, cas,in shy
glances at me all the time. got excited
forgot Betsy Jane in my rapter, aud sez
|, my pretty dears, how are your
I've air weii,' they )!emnly sed
Whar the old man ?' sed |, in soft
voice.
"Of whom dost thou speak--brother
Uriah p
81 mean the gay and fes,iv cuss who
calls me a man Of sin, Shouldn't wonder
if his name was Uriah.'
He has retired y
Wall, my pretty dea~,' sez !, LETS
have sum fun. Lets play Puss in the cor
ner. What say ?"
Air You Shaker, sir?' they asked.
Wall, my pretty dears, haven't ar
rased my proud form in long weskt yit
but if they was all like YOU perhaps I'd
jine EN-. As it is I'm Shaker protein
porary'
They WAS full of fun. | seed that at
fust only they was a little skeery. tawt
| 'em Puss in the corner and sich like plase
and We had nice time, keepin quiet of
course so the old man shouldn't hear
When we broke up, SCI |. amy pretty
dears, ear | 60 you have no objections, hav
yon, to innersent kiss at partin ?"
Iay,' they scd, and yuyd.