The daily Green Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1861-1865, 1861-07-09
Alisfellollp.
The War Fever in Baldinsville.
BY ARTEMUS WARD,

AS socn as Id recoopel ated my physikil sys-
term | went over into the village. The peas
antry was glad to see me. The schoolmaster
sed it was cheeriu to see that gigantic intelleck
among EN- onct more. That's what he called
me. | like the schoolmaster, and alters send
him tobacker when I'm off on Il travelin cam
pane. Besides, he is a very sensible man. Such
men must be encouraged.
They don't git news very fast in Daldinsville,
as nothin buta plank road runs in there twice
q week, and that's very much out of repair
So my nabers wasn't much posted up in regard
to the wars. Squire Baxter sed he'd voted the
dmicratic ticket for goin on forty year, and the
war was dam black republican lie. 10. Stack
pole, who kills hogs for the Squire, and has
got powerful muscle into his arms, sed he'd
bet SIS he could lick the Crisis in a fair stand
upfght, if he wouldn draw knife on him. So
it went-sum was for war, and sum was for
peace. The schoolmaster however, sed the
Slave Olgarky must cover at the feet Of the
North ere year had flowed by, Or pass over his
dead corpse, /" Esto perpetua ne added
" And sine qua non also "sed |, sternly, wish
ing to make an impression onto the villag gers.-
g. Requiescat in pace " sed the schoolmaster.
"Too troo, too troo, answered, " it's scan
dalus TACT ! -
The newspapers got along at last, chock full
of war, and the patriotic fever fairly bust out
in Baldiusvile 'Sqnire Baxter sed he didn t
bile ,e in Coercion. not one of en-, and could
prove by file of Eagles Of Liberty in his gar
rrit, that it was all a Wing lie, got up to raise
the price Of whisky and destroy our other liber-
ties. But the old Squire got putty riled when
he heard low the rebels was cuttln up, and he
sed he reckoned he should skour up his old mus
kit and do q little square ftin for the Old Flag,
which had alters bin on the ticket lied voted,
and he was too old to Bolt now. The Squire
is all right at heart but it takes longer for him
to fill up his venerable Biler with steam than it
used to when he was young and frisky. AS |
prevlsv informed you, am Captin OF the Bal
dinsvile Company riz gradooally but mdjes
ticly from drummer S Secretary to my present
position. But found the ranks wasn't full by
no means, and commenced for to recroot. Hay
ing notist gineral desire on the part Of young
men who are into the Crisis to wear epoylits.
detarm ined to have my company composed ex-
cloosvely of ofissers, everybody TO rank as
Brigadeer- Ginral The follerin was among the
varis questions which put to recroots;
Do you know masked battery from u hunk
of gingerbread?
Do you know an eppylit from piece of
chalk?
II trust you with a real gun, how many
men of your own company do you speck you
can manage to kill durin the war?
HAY you ever heard of Ginral Price of Mis-
souri,, and can you avoid similar accidents in
case Of a battle
Hav you ever had the measles, and if SO, how
many?
How air you now?
Show me your tongue, &c: &C. Sum of the
sornuSStiaol
The company filled up rapid, and last Sun
day we went to the meetin house in full uni
form. had seris time gittin into my militia
ry harness, as it was bilt for me many years
ago; but finally got inside of it, tho it fitted
me putty clost. Howsever, onct into in, look'
fine-in fact, aw-inspirin. @ Do you know me,
Mrs. Ward :" sed | walkin into the kitchen.
know you, you old fool OF course do
saw at once that she did.
started for the meetin house, and m afraid
tried to walk too strate, for | cum very near
falln over backards; and in attemptin to re-
covor myself, my sword got mixed up with my
legs, and fell in among u choice collection OF