The Bedford gazette. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1805-current, 1861-11-15
Mn. EDITOR

Since ] wrote you last and pub
lished 10 the world that we had "seceded, y
we have been getting along "swimmingly," ;"
till of late, when we became cognizant that
there are traitors in our ranks We had
been fattering ourselves that the greatest una
nimity prevailed in our midst IN regar d TO our
caQs-, and that our conttdsracy was a "ixed
lact," when the whole community mean
the loyal portion Of it, and even some ofthe trar-
tors went off 10 hys,ercs, for "make orlieve"
was thrown into the utmost CONSERVATION
and confusion, by the alarming intelligence that
some Of our females had refused 20 give their
'.aid and comfort" to our cause, and were form
ing secret association to resist certain portions
Of our our rnles and regulations. As l stated
IN my last official report, some Of the ladies' were
in arms, bot nobody had no idea that ANYBODY
would be hunt by it. We were all astonished
at the turn they made. Considering that the
ladies are the Peued ones among Us, all hands
counted Il mean that they should use their weap-
ons against our glorious cause.
(Private.) Here | would remark to the gem
tlemen oaly- that woman is a turbulent being;
and like the waters OF the troubled ocean, she
is continually moving and doing something des-
perate 1t was "Vomen & Saair'' that got
oyT grand sire, Adam, INTO fix, and drove toe
innocent old man from his homestead, where
he might have lived in ease to a ripe old age.
And The former part of the above '.frm'' is get
ting man into some predcament continually.
It's notorious fact and at particular times,
some OF them will even admit It.
Bat 10 my subject. We soon learned that
the disafected ones were going 10 have secret
meeting IN dilapidated old ktchen,-a kitch-
en- is great place for women to talk-ln the
outskirts Of our capital. A deserter from their
ranks told Us this. How 10 "s'ea march" on
them, was soon arranged. was TO go among
taem in the habl!iments Of woman. was 20
''5eard the lion in his den.'' This is "sarcus-
tical.' Our women dou't wear boards DON
ned iuIl rig, hoops and all, took the oah,- "a
horrd one, for when women swear, it's awful,
and when the time for meeting came, went
there, and took back seat. All kinds OF faces
were there; and, judging from the confusion, l
imagined they were getting up project to
build another Babel.
After stationing .Pickets with brooms ticks, a
round the house, the President, who as usual IN
all political meetings had been appointed before,
a tall, heavy old maid who had The frost Of
between forty summers crowning hel auburn
locks, rose, and IN loud voice, spoke as iol-
lows sLadies thousand thanks is due YOU
for comforting the honor Pfesiden' Of this here
tremenjus mettrn' onto me-. viii send them
around tomorrow in ahand-basket. No perlil-
ical body that ever met, not even the old Ro-
man Srnnt, can equal this meetIn' in Intellrck.
We have met here 30 defend our cawso Then
throwing up her voice with her HANDS, and rol-
ling her eyes to an alarming extent, she ex-
claimed, 81 stand here on Wimm'n's Rites"
(Ihls was fguraive, for SHE was standing on
an old board. Wimmln's Rites wouldn't hold
female Of her size: i, would break down
F'Iou all know what has brought US here The
'lords Of creation has been domineerng over
Us too long. They have been imposin' on rs,
and they want to do it agin. They want us
now 10 kaI stockings for the soldiers out Of pure
patriotism, while they stealilg enough from
the Government-ou' OF pure patriotism too
TO cloIhe whole army. II The stockings were
to b. knit out Of their patriotism. they would
be thinner than those knit Of gossaner threads.
want all of you to put your foo. down on itr'
Here she stamped her double sole, No. 8, vio
leutIy on the floor, and sank, exhausted, into
an arm char, prepared Tor the PorPose; wipiug
het face with a large, red palmetto handker-
chief, which she had displayed while making
gestures il spraking.)
A silence Of fey minutes ensued, duriug
which smellingboltles and hahdkerchiefs were
resorted TO quite extensively; when up jumped
one Of the initiated, and in a voice that sounded
like boy whiStlIng into the bung-hole of an
empty cider barrel, addressed the char thus:
: Mr.. President. I'll have it moved that COM
miltee be- made TO write resolutions, 10 show
how We ieel on the subject before u.s. COM
miitee was accordingly made by the President
After which the mover again rose and haran-
gupd in this manner: 81 made that motion out
of pure patriotism. Patriotism Is Prorerbial
IN our family. Il has been handed down TO Us
from generation TO generation, and It's pure yet.
Ny grandfather was a near relative to Ben
iG;ct Arnold, and he was full OF patriotism
Bot the genuwine stuff is leetle scarce now