Abbeville press. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1860-1869, 1861-07-12
From the Southern Field aud Fireside.
ExcRUcIATING ExIGENcIEs OF A SINGLE
MAN.
BY TAssE DEMONT.

BY TAssE DEMoNT.
what is to he done WHAT is not to be
done? Here is my best shirt with two but
tons off, and To save my life cant find
those bosom-s,uds. Oh, am sorely tired.
I, is now ten o'clock apd must be at Mrs
'T'< a, eleven Thus en- deshobilie in part
l talked to myself, walking back and f"rth
; in my room, lonking in every nook and cor
nrr for bosom studs. and larnen,ing the an-
rrrIt'ou> loss of two buttons. IN drawers
wa,rh-porke,s, nunks and vaisrs F search
ell with unarrnstomed zeal but with no
rucccss. Jumping TO the door bawIed ont
with no linle injury TO my lungs, 'Socius,
come here! In moment Socius stood be
fore me in all his African glory.
'Whal the thunder are you grinning al,
you relic of Cape CoIony4 If you don't
Immediately return my bosom studs will
drc,s you in the highest style imaginable.
Go. sir! a
Master, I aint-'
IF you DON'T l did not finish a
boot eInphatically but badly thrown, in
formed him that my bosom studs were wan
ted, and with electric agility he disappeared.
For two minutes l considered. Sucus did
not return. My wrath was unbounded.
| am glad Socius did not return. Per
haps one more search would end my trou-
bic. Perhaps Socius bad not seen the
studs.
Again searched, and was fortunate.
soon made button holes, and at half past ten
I imagined myself immensely well suited in
an nnmentionabe. 1t was very necessary
that should BE- at Mrs. T--'s at precise.
y eleven o'clock, and now had just halt
an hour.
'Socus, bring my razor and some warm
water Gocius co'nprehende'l tile modula-
'ion of voice, and answered promptly, Yes
sir, Yes SIR
What havn't you gol the soapa'
No, Marster; there is't bit Of soap
here"
Away, sir, lting me soap, or by all that's
go,d I'li--'
made n rush at Socius, he made rust
al the door. Sncius was swift of foot, auG
avoided my grasp. Soap ] cried with at
'"~"''s"t' emphasis. as he DISAPPEARED be-
h'"t the GO nrr Of ll,c Office. found soaJ
AIT, in five minle> my chin was neatly
'eapri.
'sorius my t,oo' is lost
Yes, Mar.'cr.' Soc,us came will, the loo
that had thrown H. Lin. OF course i
was much >oil.d in appearance.
|. d" ,on dare 10 polish my boo, III adt:t
A ihatneT2 Take thar, you descendant o
Ham, AMI struck him with pair of trow-
srrs, completely euveI"ping his tolorec
phy-icsnomy.
'L"r. mars,er,' exclaimed The terrified in
dividnal, fearful of the damage inflicted up
on his person
He r-'Grne'i with the boot highly pol.
ish"d. As he came in I observed the m
g"'"ly appearance OF the white pants wI'irl
intended wearing, and with which haf
s'rn"k him RI. was now nearly eleven. ans
rs l knew Eng.nie world expect me at fha
hour, failure 10 arrive in TIME was abDt
all things the most unpleasant 10 me
Now. having withdraw my name from tn
lat Of those who desire board in prvat
eamily.' Socius acted as cnok, waal,er an
: irener,. and made l,inself generally lssefu
) in alleviaiing the trohbles and family diff
e culiies of the humble narrator of the fact.
+ whose discontinue at the sight Of the aai
towsers wasso magnitudinous. / had ar
s doubtedlv been the cause of the inglorior
= spectacle afforded by vision of the pants
but Socius must De accountable. and wi.
y y this decision | held the unmentionables b,
a fore his astonished gaze a, moment an
y. with the spring Of a lioness discovere
y y myself bu-iIy eptertained,in in sdministerin
2 'ha. correction which socius 40 justly dc
y served. In spite ofall my endesvos ,
Ia the contrary. socids seemed more ampse
e T. than abused by my conduct.
q. Bling my Llackt pants . ..s =.
" - 'Yss5 marster.' --,..,,,~~4,,,, -, .rs =.
Have my horse at the gate In TITO mir
he utes.,'~ - q - - 81 gl'- Z s"+~ ID. 81.
es Yes sir--yes sir S
M In spite Of The esosses and trials | h,
H. me. with during The 670rnite. t.vas nc
: pr"perly appsrelled. and appeared to 4
/ disadvantage intmy owl mnsorszsI. 4,
just ten minutes to goto Mrs: p :. ::
which was mile distant, ana leaving i !,
room ip a perfect msl.trop Of d;sendet
" walked the gate. socius nor, The .he,
de vereto be seep.s !, -. ass,s.--.es.a So
t. .Sociusl ySscias y Izxssssmss @iShstt