Daily national Democrat., 1861-10-01
From Vanity Fair.
GREAT NAUTICAL ROMANCE.
BY ARTEMUS WARD.
The Fair Inez or the Lone Lady of the
Crimson Cliits--A Tale of the sea.
CHAPTER X-TIE ENGAGEMENT

lhe nlrallcal 11eet gradually surrounded the
Jane Gray.
O'Muligan's Object was to deal gently with
the erring Unonists.
He simply desired to confscate their ship
and its cargo and kill the crew with masked
batteries If in the enthusiasm of the moment
some OF his chvalric followers should man9le
and cut up few of the dead Uniouists and
rob them of their clothes and watches, it was
something that he could not avert. All o.
Mulligan wanted was to be let alone.
Ills men were all hightoned gentlemen,
with original ideas about craftsmanship and
honor whereas the Unonsts were greasy
mechanics, low-lived snivelling farmers, base
laborers, gibbering and pulling lovers of the
aromatic African, Id mercantile persons.
The idea of coming in contact with these
disgusting creatures was SO repugnant to o.
Muligans magnificent mind, that be con-
ceived the ingenious eXpedicnt of fighting
them with masked batteries where he could
not smell them, or have his garments soiled
by them or breathe an atmosphere made
putrd by their pestilcntial breaths.
O'Mulligan believed that if the adalission
to Heaven was reduced to twenty five cents
per head, the people of New England would
want to pay in tinware or produce.
1t was very clear 30 the minds of O'Mulli-
gan's men that VIM. Lloyd GARRISON was King
of Boston, and that his subjects secreted flu
gitive niggers in Bunker Hill monument, and
went to the Museum arrayed in white chokers:
while it was notorious that Greeley's sole ob
ject in hurlng the grand federal army upon
Richmond was to free all the slaves, and put
all the whites to death by sticking red hot
iron things into them.
Their newspaper organs tcemcd with in
| toll off MI ,.,l ,lu
acter, which the buccaneers swallowed as
readily ae they did their juleps and cocktails
And newspapers cannot lie, as those of my
readers who aan read print very well know
"Projono cuj bono ct id omae rerJatim od
! cdptGndtm dii6itnM ipSe dir6 noilc proSegNi"
shouted OMulHgan, in Latin, to tue Jane
Gray.
"Ncccrf" replied Capt, Wright, in a voice
of thunder. Never sir, while there's drop
of blood in these veins Elm no such char
acter"
"Bully boy with the wax nose !" exclaimed
n seaman, delighted at this unnistakcable
evidence of stamina.
"Nmporte Jiase eaudcie gW ric rccAcrcAcl"
cried OAIuIligan, in pure Canadian French.
"No, sir | ont do that, neither !" replied
Captain Wright, drawing himself up to his
full height.
".Srei me Gmtc,eJcrg pong Jom-J,m f' said
C'Mulligan, this time III thcsweet and dreamy
German tongue.
"You lie!" cried Captain Wright "and
favor you in that remark, for ! think you'll
stea'"
O'MulEgaa, desiring to awe the base pie
beinn with his scholastic attainmen's, then
addressed him in Spanish-thc stately Ian
/ in ,tl. b, nt i
mother in boyhoods sunny hours. Nv on
yez be atther surriudering' the boat, yer
dirthy spalpane p
Not if can help it," was the graceful re-
Let me talk to that man, said the saga
cious pirate, whose disordcrly and reprehen-
sible conduct it haa been our painful duty to
notice before
Il think can fix him. Will dazzle him
| with magnificent burst Of Wit-my last
great conundrum. My Northern scaiGrng
friend, with an uncomfortable passion for
trading in apple sass and tin POTS ahoy y
shrlekcd the sagacious pirate, mounting the
hen-coop; "can you tell me why"
! down, slave cried OMulligan, black
with rage; is this ship II floating asylum for
idiots?"
Let him speak Z" said all the men and the
chet, fearing mutiny if he proceeded farther,
relnpsed into a state of scowling silence.
- ou cant browbeat me, sir, if your sister
is cross-eycdl + said the sOgacious pirate, with
an air of triumph.
The chief rccoiled before this splendid sar-
casn,, crushed utterly for the time being. The
sagacious pirate then proceeded with his great
original conundrum "Why is jeff. Davis
when he rides to Bull Run III an open four
white horse barouche from Richmond, and
pauses on the hillside to wipe the perspira-
! ton from his brow, and sees the cpidemic-l
mean the ,panic-and laughs in sardOnc
manner, and thinks he will soon have Honest
| Old Abe in Ais clutches where he can't tell
1 people any more little storles-why is he like
! "A young girl who attends fancy dress funer-
al in the character Of sylPh, and floats
4 hither and thther like some light gondola in
\ a sea of liquid silver? ANSWER: Because,
'1he rose Mat all are praiSi1g IS not tie roSe
To1' me p"
Flushed with triumph, the sagacious pirate
1 descended from the hencoop, but only to gaze
upon ghastly, terrible spectacle The en-
tire ships crew had faiutcd long ere he fin
ished the great bnt SUI tie conundrum, and
were lying stretched upon the deck as tho
they were dead.
This tits to he a humoristl' cried the sa
4 gaclOus pirate, IN tones OF Iearlul agony
| wringing his hands and sobUiug wildly, Let
the writer's ioI the comic monthles and sun
day papers take warning 10y my tate!'
The entire feet-for the crews Of the othel
pirate ships had also swooned-thus became
an easy prize to the Jane Gray.
"We must board you" said Capt. Wright
as he approached the flagship
ii. "All right" replied the sagacious pirate
"but you must find lights"
81 tell you | shall board you! said Capt
Wright sternly, standing in the stern of the
boat
Il understand you. You will board me fo
SO 80 n week, and do my wnshingE | gen
orally have about two pieces in the wash pc
week, to wit: shirt and Il drawer"
Capt, Wright staggered wildiy-he presse'
his hands to his burning temples-his eye
glared fenzedl white Iroth stood upol
his lips
"rhis tits to be humorist j. cried the sa
gacious pirate, weeping atresh
Capt. WMght soon recovered and boarde'
the vessel The pirates were put in chains
/ and the fleet was headed for the Unite
States
e The next day the pirates waited upon Cap
Wright in a body.
| "Whati is all this ?" asked that officer.
owe hear you are going to New York
A said O'Mulligan.
"Well, sir"
ave are come to respectfully but mos
t earnestly to ask you not to go to New York
a "Why q
4 "Rarrum is in New York, sir We don