The weekly Ottumwa courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1857-1872, 1861-04-03

iioisc, Save Wiieb YOU ic "Si00P, o"s ~ 90
thus occupied. The truth is, | have always
been too indulgent with you, and humor you
when ought not. did not commence
right in the first place. should have paid
no attention to your whims. but etulied my
own convenience and comfort, instead OF
seeking to make everything smooth and
pleasant fer you. Then l would have got
along much better. Oh, you men. are great
tyrants; and ifa woman yields to you in the
least, you follow up your advantage, and
bend her will to yours, and crush her spirit
to the earth till, by and by, you break her
heart'
"My dear, I viii thank you for another cup
| of Coffee" said, passing my cup to her
'but be careful not to run it over, nor get il
too sweet, nor put in too much milk. What
an intolerabe steak this is" I added; sit is
tough enough to have been cut from one OF
the cattle pastured upon thousand bills,
more than thousand years ago. If there
be one thing dislike more than another, it
is tough beefsteak."
"You ordered it yourself, from the market,
so you needn't find fault with me on account
Iof it. | knew it was tough the moment
looked at it'
"Then why didn't you send it back9'
inquired.
Because, as it was your selection, suppos-
ed you wanted tough one; besides, if |
had returned it, you would have found fault
with me for doing So"
swell, l can't eat it, that's certain"
said; $50 it had better be taken off of the ia
BILE. shan't throw any more money away
on beefsteaks."
"Oh, it will answer for hash," said my
economical wife, ''and you can have it foi
dinner"
"Hash - exclaimed "If there be one
thing dislike more than another, il is hash
Hash is only fit for children and old people
without teeth. Besides, it is a popular dish
at boarding schools and boarding-houses
and when was boy, and afterward bach
elor, ate my share of it, and I'm not going
to eat any more. No, we willhave turkey
for dinner"
"Very WELL" said my spouse, "a turkey
let it be. Shall see to getting one? ?"
81 think not," l answered. "The fact is
that all the turkeys you select turn out to b'
like the celebrated one of which job was th'
reputed owner--poor and tough. No, III
buy the turkey, and you can cook it."
every well,' said the imperturbable lady
'sBut how will you have it cooked?"
ooh any way; uityourself;" | answered
"Then think viii toast it," she replied
"Roast itr' | exclaimed ''That is jus
like you. Now, you know if there be on
thing dislike more than another, it is t
have turkey roasted"
every well, them" said the accommoda
ting woman, 81 will hoil it.''
ssBoil it. I said aghast. 'sBoil soup, boi
lamb chops, boil cherries, if you like, bu
never, for me, boil turkey"
''Pray, then how will you have it cooked
Only tell me, and it shall be DONE"
"Why-why- well-fiicrsee it, ofcourse,
| answered triumphantly.
"very well" said the lady, looking, how
ever, as il 1t were not very we'll
"Why can't you say something else be
sides 'very well p" asked. '.What pre-
voking woman you are, to be sure"
''Not half as provoking as you are" sh
replied.
"Now, then, you wish to make me angry
/ suppose; but you can't do it, said. g
have put up with everything all throug
breakfast, and am not going to be proyol
ed Just asI am finishing"
"I am sure do not wish to prokoke you,
nv wife said. in most innocent and a.
grieved manner.
"But you most certainly do provoke me,
replied.
"Then I am sorry for it" she answered
in a softened tone, "for ich was not my il
tention."
, 1 looked across the table at my wife; som'
thing like tear rolled down her cheek.
"Goodness l whispered to myself, :
have made my wife weep. What-a-wh'
-a--brute am"
"Then speaking aloud, ! exclaimed;
.'Darlingr'
uWelln was her calm reply.
: "Do you know I continued, "that
there be one thing dislike more than anot
er, it is tear"
She answered simply with sad smile.
Sweetheart" said.
"Well?'
sCook the turkey any way you please"
She shook her head.
left my seat, (having finished my brea
: last.) went to her side, and, smoothing h
$ pale, wan cheek with my hand, kissed
and said
/ Forgive me, dear, this time"
She smiled dubionsly, as If "this tim
r was only one out of the seventy times Sc
e en- which she would be called on to forgi
g during our matrimonial career; but, neyt
C theless, the pressure OF her hand, which
had taken, assured me that peace was mat
A li,tle girl Of four years was recently cal
= as a witness in police court, and in ansv
7. to the question as to what became Of lit
IN girls who told lies, she innocently replied Il
IN they were sent TO bead.