Holmes County Republican. [volume] (Millersburg, Holmes County, Ohio) 1856-1865, 1861-05-30
aao From Vanity Fair.
ARENAS Ward on the Shakers.

ARENAS WarQ on tne NnakerS.
The Shakers is the strangest religion,
sex ever met. I'd hearn tell Of 'em, ant
I'd seen 'em, with their broad brim'd hat
and long wastid coats; but I'd never cum
into immejit contack with 'em, and I'd so
'em down as lackin intelleck, as Id neyel
seen 'em to my Show-leastvays if they
cum they was disgised in white peple'.
close, so didn't know 'em.
But in the Spring of ls-, 1 got swan,
in the exterior of New York State, one
dark and stormy nigh. when the wind
Blue pityusly, and l was forced to lie VI
with the Shakers. E, se,f.- ---..7 I
was ioilin threw the mud, when in The
dim vista of the futer l obsaryed the
CLEANS of taller candle. Tiein hornet.
nest to my off hoss's tail 10 kinder encour-
age him, l soon reached the place.
knockt at the door which it was opened to
me by tall, sickly-faced, solum lookin in.
dividiooal, who turn'd out to be Elder.
"Mister Shaker" sed 1 'you see before
you Babe in the Woods, so 10 speak, and
he axes shelter of YOU"
"Yay," seJ the Shaker, and he led the
way into the house, sDother Shaker bein
sent to put my hossses and waggin under
kiver. se.
A solum female, lookin sumwhat like q
last years bean-pole stuck into long meal
bag, cum in and axed me was l athurst
and did l hungerl" to which ! urbauely
answered "a few." She went orr and en-
devered to open conversashun with the
old man. .-.-- l..
"Elder, 1 specti' sed /. -
"Yay," he sed. aa~,a /.
"Health's good, l reckoni" aar
"Yay." .s -iI s.r4
"What's the wages of a Elder, when be
understans bis bizness-or do you devote
your sarvices gratooitus9" -aa
"Yay." ~
Stormy night, sir" 7
"Yay."
"If the storm continners thers'll be a
mess underfoot hay?'
"Yay." mf 81
"lfs unpleasant when there's mess un-
derfoot?" =
"Yay."
"If may be so bold, kind sir, what's
the price of that pecooler kind of weskit
you wear, incloodin trimmins 7" .- i.
"Yay."
paused mint, and then thinkin I'd
be faseshus with him and see bow that
would 60, 1 slapt him on the shoulder,
bust into hearty la,f, and told him that
as yayer he had no Twin ekal.
He jumpt up as if Bilin water had been
squirted into bis ears, groaued, rolled his
eys up lords the sealin and sed: you're
a man of sinw He then walkt out of the
room.
Just then the female in the meal bag
stuck ber head into the room and statid
that refreshments awaited the weary trav-
ler, and sed if it was vittles she ment,
the weary trarler was agreeable, and l fol-
lern her into the next room. p
sot down to the table and the female
in the meal bag pored out some ca. She
sed notbin, and for five minirs the only
livin thing in that room was an old wood
en- clock, which tickt in subdood and
bashful manner in the corner. This deth-
ly stiffness made me Uneasy, and l determ-
iued 10 talk to the female or bust. So sez
l, marriage is agiu your rules, bleeve,
marm?" ........---s .....
"Yay."
"The sexes liv strickly apart l specta' ~
"Yay."
"Il's kinder singler," seq I, putin on
my most sweetest look and speakin in a
winnin voice, "that SO fair made as thow
never got hitched to some likely feller. y
IN. B--She was upwards of 40 and home
Iy as stump fence, but thowt I'd tickil
her.
81 don't like mem" she sed, very short.
avail, dunno" sez l, they're rayther
important part Of the population. don't
scarcely see how we could git along with
out 'em."
"Us poor wimmin folks would git along
a great deal better il there was no men, J"
"You'Il excoos me, marin, but l don't
think that air would work. 1t wouldn',
be regler." r
"I'm faid of men!" she sed.
"That's unnecessary, marm. You amt
in no danger. Don't fret yourself on that
pint"
"Here we're shot out from the sinful
world. Here all is peas. Here We air
brothers and sisters. Wedon't marry, and
Consistently we have no domestic Difficult
ties. Husbands don't aboozs their wives
wives don't worrit their husbans.-
There's no children here to worrit u.s.
Nothin to worrit US here. No wicked ma
trimony here. Would thow like to be q
Sbakeri"
"No," sez /, tit amt my stile."
1 had now histed in as big load Of
provisions as ! could carry comfortable,
aud, leanin back in my cheer, commenst
pickin my teeth with fork. A'
The female went out, leavin me all g.
lone with the clock. / hadn't sot thar
long before the Elder poked bis head 10 at
the door. "You'rea man Of sin !" he sed,
and groaned and went away. 81
Direckly thar cum in two young Shaker
esses, as putty and slick lookin gals as ev-
er l met. 1t is troo they was drest 10
meal bags like the old ono Id met previs-
", and their shiny, silk bar was hid from
sight by long white caps, sich as spose
female costs wear; but their eyes sparkled
like dirDinds; their cheeks was like roses,
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