Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1861-01-04
Hiring a Brakeman:5

Many years since, soon after the opening
of the Norwich and Worcester Railroad, a
stout looking innocent, about six feet in his
stockings, with thews and thighs to match,
stood in the depot at Worcester, gazing with
evident admiration at the "bran new cars
and the snorting" locomotive which had
just arrived at that station. A roguish citi-
zen who steod near him Watching his undis-
guised wonder attentively, and drawing near,
entered into conversation with him. He was
down from Vermont, arter work, and want
ed to get chance on one o those railroads" "
"Do!" said the joker, why don't you
go and see the superintendent Z"
"Wall, would, if l knew where to find
him."
ooh, well, come along with mc-I'm 60
ing right by his Office"
And accordingly off went the twain,
straight to the store, that of demurest of all
hoaxers, .Jcm b., who stood like patriarchal
spider, waiting for an unsophisticated human
fly that might founder in his net
~ said the wag who acted as pilot,
"there he is Here's young man, Mr.. b.,
who wants berth on the road as brakes
man."
Jem was posted Immediately.
many applications for the post and in fact,
| had engaged man to 20 out upon this
train, but as he was not up to his engage
ment. will talk to you. Have you been ac-
custom,d to railroading?" ..-.
"Wa-a-l, no, hain't, but guess could
learn it mighty soon. What's the wages ~
Thirty-six dollars month, and your
clothes"
"Waal, Mister, I'm ready, if you say so,
to take right hold"
"Very we'll; then I'll send you out on this
train; but wish to put you on your guard
with reference to one matter, and that is,
that there is troublesome set of fellows con-
tinually hanging around the train pretending
to belong to the road. Some of them may
interfere with you IF they do, put them of
at once-tell them | put you on the train,
and take no impudence from any of them
AS to your duties-when you hear one
whistle, screw on your brakes; if two alarms
are sounded, screw them down hard and
when three are given loosen the brakes for
the train to 60 on. I'll go with you and put
you on the train. You return here tonight
and then will see about your boarding
place."
Accordingly, down they went - the sta
ton. and there the pretended Superintendent
showed his employee the breaks and the
mode of using them, leaving with him a fresh
injunction to knock down any one who at
tempted to interfere with him."
Before many minutes the Vermonter had
| a customer. The whistle sounded, and on
went the brakes.
"What are you doing there with that
brake?" shouted legitimate brakesman
Jump off there if you don't want your head
| broke"
Jonathan looked at his rude 'interrogato1
| Ca small MANI with contempt, but disdained
to reply.
"S-h-rce!' went the whistle, and the new
brakesman screwed away for lite, until snap
went the chain
This was the cup too much, and off went
the infuriated brakesman for assistance
"What are you doing there p asked the
conductor, who returned with the man, ant
stepping upon the platform, placed his hand:
on Jonathan with view of summary eject
ment A brief struggle ensucd, at the con
clusion of which the conductor lay PROSTATE
upon his back with the small brakesman'.
head jammed between his legs.
"Come on, We darned heathensp' shouted
Jonathan, now fairly aroused; come on
I'll larn We to cut your didocs around me
I'm hired, be; Mr-hired me for thi.
business, and if don't learn ye to tend t.
yer own business, it'll be COZ yer stouter'n
be-"
| A fresh struggle ensucd between our here
and some half dozen others employed OF
the train, who had gathered around, ant
Jonathan was finally overpowered, when al
explanation took place, and the Superintend
ent's store was sought for, as the incorrigibl,
wag was not so incautious as to make the en-
gagemcnt in his own store; and, although h,
was strongly suspected of being the autho
Of the practical joke, no proof could be had
for by shrewd management of the face ant
cool assurance, hidden by different dress
he succeeded in arguing Jonathan out of hi
supposition, the latter having charged hin
with the joke. The best part Of the joke wa
the announcement The actual Superntend
ent, hearing Of the affair, and Of the indomi