The Cadiz Democratic sentinel. [volume] (Cadiz, Ohio) 1854-1864, 1861-07-03
MIR. AND MRS. RASHER.
BY THE AUTHOR OF "MIss sLrMMENs."
CHAPTER X.
sERREPTITops BLISS.

I've really enjoyed myself since we mOFeu III
to this conlOunded new tangled hCuse. To Sc
my old friends all about me, and to realize tha
my better. half isn't up stairs waiting to CIV
me curtain lecture, make me feel like pig II
clover. Our curtains are rose colored silk, bu
!, they don't make the lectures any the roster
ha! ha! In fact I've sometimes in my refec
tive moments, wondered if they didn't rathe
deepen the hue. lis singular that though th
curtains are red, they almost always make mi
blue. I've sometimes thought it must be ow
ing to the refractory character OF my amiab
spouse. Bless her let's drink her health
standing and silent. OF course shouldn't drinl
to the health OF my-deary in Madeira, and
should be chary Of drinking it in sherry in
promiscuous assemblage, but we're all friends
old and tried (excuse the tried, gentlemen; IL,
a term OF the trade); there isn't one present but
knew us in the days of our small beginnings
befor the first leaf was turned IN that business
the fat profits orwhich have surrounded us with
our present efIulgence. You remember the
little sign, JONES' for you painted it Tor me your
sef-"T Rasher, Fishmonger"-th used to
shine over the shop in street; you remember
it, but Mrs Rasher don't. She couldn't call it
to mind, if she set little dog TO bring it back
| to her. The very shad oh OF it has vanished
from her mind. 1t was retail, you know, and
we're wholesale now, and retailing fish is rath-
er scaly business Tor Fifth Avenue to look
back upon
| Don't be surprised at any feats you may see
me perform, not even if dance on my table
I've been gentecl so long | hardly know myself
now that l've got my old crones around me,
It's terrible thing 20 be genteel; you can't i'm
agine what Eve suffered since Mrs. Rasher took
to gentility. mus'5t laugh, mus mt joke,
mustn't put my feet up nor tip my chair back,
nor wear loose shoes over ny cornS nor carry
my avorite red silk bandana, nor open my
mouth in company for fear Of mistakes. You
know its as natural for me 10 pun as it is for a
champagne cork to pop, and yeti must pun
can't even snore in the seclucicn Of my own
bedroom, for Ms Rasher says it's not genteel
When we were young matried people, she used
to say she rather liked TO hear me snore; il
Soothed her; was rs good as planny oput her
TO sleep. fanny. alas, she don't compare me
to pIanny any longer | wouldn't like tell
what She does compare me to. Enough to hint
lrat it's to a certain animal to which We ale
largely indebted for benefits received. There's
IA large per cent Of genlility in Mrs Rasner,
though didn't suspect it when | invested my
domestic happiness IN the bonds of wedlock.-
Marriage iS a speculation, my i1lendS, ul as
hazardous AS the most, tie stock may increase
" lille the interest runs down to nothing. AID
the only djyidenp to be made aitera number OF
years may be separate establishments. |
Shoud'n wonder il it come to that yet. Mel.
anchuly bat inevitable. John, open ano her
half Dozen
II | eyer should Ie obliged to apply for d.
vnce the only plea | shall put in will he--cru. |
Il and harbaIouS gcnliIity. Size killing NE with |
it-I'u diving by inches. Don't you sec I'm
smaller ha. ever and lock kind OF shrunk up
and frightened? Yuu see, dar'nt say, ANA
ler - npr come near her, no seem to be acqnaint |
ed with her, when she's IN COMPANY, which is
always, because why?--why, because she's my
wie--and it's shocking offence to he intimate
with your own VIE. You can be as intimate |
rs you like with somebody else's. tell YOU
| can't get used to it; it don't come natural
The worst thing ever did, was 20 give her a
little squeeze at party, and ask her II she
wouldn't dance with me. You wouldn't Won |
der I've looked smaller ever since, il you could
have seen how She wiIhercd me up then. Now, |
whenever | wish to speak to her in company, |
always get some stranger to introduce us She
lectures me when we get hone, but must play |
her lrtle trick once and while, just to keep
off the blues
By the way, hoys, have you noticed our coat
of arms? Mrs r couldn't live month in a
new house without coat of arms and 30 pick
ed out one that though suitable. Poor dear!
she cant read Latin, ard she don't know that
that odiouS lavoute expression Of mlne-"SaVe
your bacon" winkS at her from every spoon,
fork, knife, and piece of plate on the table
Won't she be crest fallen when she finds 1t out.
Us curious she's escaped so long. exp ct I'll
have to take to my heels to save my bacon, !
when she makes he discovery. 1t was rash
trick 10 play, but I've played Rasher. Old
you don't call that old do YOU? defy one OF
you to prove that you ever heard me breathe
that pun before; and if its old, why its like
cheese and wine, all the better for il, If |
didn't get that off on an average once day, in !
some shape YOU might begin to think me sick. |
ike the old lady who had lost all appetite for
her murders But, as | was saying, you cant
make pork out O piI iron, and you cant make
a fashionable man out of your old crony. It's
dreadful, know. Mrs, Rasher is IN despair.
She saws il I'd been born in France, Id have
talked plain English from baby, because
cant say Out" "Our," like a weak old piget.
But, 0 dear! | don't meEn to cast reflections up
on my partner; She'Sa a good woman il she WASH
so ambitious, and she's gone into the country
TO stay week, and give us chance to have
reg lar old fashioned supper, with plenty TO eat
and drink the whole night to set up in and
not caring dime whether we know how to call
the chicken fxin's by their French rigmaroleS
or not.
IN tell you what drove her into the country
-twasn't because she had natural liking for
seeing the dandelions come up in the spring
twasn't even TO get fresh eggs and young onions
though they'll reconcile her to the change as
much as anything can. She's gone home with
old uncle and aunt Rasher--you remember EN-
Tom? You see, they came to make US a visit,
and she got in hurry to see 'em off, and told
em she'd 90 home with 'em and tini-h the Wis
it out there enjoyed myself while the old
lok> were here. Never enjoyed myself better
In the same space Of time. You see | invited
'em-on the sly. Mrs. Rasher wasn't expect
ing 'em; in fact, she was right in the midst OF
one OF her fashionable sworrys She was set
ting on the soa Young Flummery one side o.
her, and that Fitz simmons on the other and
a dozen of the most super elegant guests around
her knew what was coming and was kind
of walking around, waiting | knew they'd he
in on the eight O'Clock train, and I'd sent John
down in the carriage to bring 'em up had
one ear open, and heard 'em in the hall; but
Mrs. Rasher didn't, or thought they were more
Of her friends TIL Patrick threw The door open,
and the blsza If gas light 81 r.frlgently upon
the curious pair, Tor they ave curious, no mis-.
AXE. and as good as they are queer. Aunt
Rasher nursed me through the measles, when
was fourteen and never shall forget the pie
and gingerbread she put in NY way, wien my
appetite began to come round all right. No,
sir! il should rise in Ii 9 as high as the shot
tower, I'D never forget the benevolent counte.
nance with which she used to see me devour
those prodigal sweets. ] asked 'em here be-
cause wanted TO see 'em and treat EN- to the