The Plymouth weekly Democrat. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1860-1869, 1861-09-12

sklrmish squad, put one on when he went
to the Presidents reception, az d the collar
stood up so high that he couldn't put his
cap on. while the other department. didn't
reach quite 10 his waist. His appearance
at the White House was picturesque and
interesting. and as he entered the drawing
room, General Scott remarked, very feel.
ingly:
'Ah! here comes one Of the wounded
heroes
He's not wounded, General, remarked
an officer standing by.
Then why is his head bandaged up so?'
asked the venerable veteran.
'Oh! says the officer, that's only one
Of the shirts made by the patriotic wimn
of America
In about FIVE minutes after this CONVEX
sation | saw the venerable veteran and the
wounded hero at the office taking the oath
Of allegiance together.
Our Fat Contributor in the Home Guards.
The moment the flag was threatened.
large bodies of men were called upon TO
rally to its defense. Being a large bodied
man. rallied, and enrolled myself with
the Home Guards, The drill is very hard
on me this hot weather. although l am
constantly allowed an attendant with fan
and ice-water.
am constantly reminded that one of
the first requirement OF a soldier is to
throw out the chest and draw in the stom-
ach. Having been burnt out several times
while occupying rooms in an attic, l have
had considerable practice in throwing out
my chest, but by what system of practice
could l ever hope to draw in my stom-
ach! l can't dress up'-its no use OF
trying If my vest buttons are in line, |
am far in the rear, and if toe tie mark a
fearful bulge indicates my position. (There
is no room for argument in regard to my
sent'ments-everybody can see at a glance
just where l stand. One evening we had
a new drill sergeant who was near. sighted.
Running his eye along the line, he ex-
claimed sharply:
What is that man doing in the ranks
with bass drum?'
He pointed at me but had't any drum
1t was the surplus stomach that could
not draw in.
/ am the butt Of numberless jokes, as
you may we'll suppose. Trey have got a
story in the Guards that when irst heard
the command, order arms, | dropped my
musket and taking out my note book be-
gan drawing an order on the Governor for
what arms needed. They say order
ed Winan's steam gun. with pair Of
Dahlgren howitzers for side arms! Base
tabricators! My ambition never extended
beyond a rifed cannon and they knew it
well.
Although in respect to size l belong to
the 'heavies.' my preference is for the
light infantry service. My knapsack is
marked light infantry
One evening the spectators seemed con-
vulsed about something; and my com.
rades Uttered by plattoons wbenever my
back was turned. 1t was a mystery to me
until laid off my knapsack
! Some wretch had erased the two final
letters, and | had been parading all even
ing labeled LIGHT INFANT!'
The above is one of the thousand an
noyances to which l am subjected, and
nothing but my consuming patriotism
could ever induce me to submit to it.
rallied at the call Of my country, and am
not 10 be put out by the rallying of my
comrades.
overheard spectator inquire of the
drill sergeant one day:
No. he returned. in an awful whisper,
i drill him by squadsl'
could have drilled him If had had a
bayonet
Specifications have been published in
regard to my uniform, and contractors ad-
vertised for. The making will be let ou:
to the lowest responsible bidder. In case
the Guards are ordered to take the field. a
special commissary will be detailed to draw
my rations.
That reminds me OF a narrowing incident.
On last drill night, an old farmer who
dropped in to see US drill, took me TO one
side and said he wanted to sell me yoke
of powerful oxen.
MY ancient agriculturalist' said l, smi.
ling at his simplicity. l have no use for
oxen.
Perhaps not at present. quoth be. but
if you go to war you will want Them
For what? said l. considerably annoyed.
Wam en- to draw your rdtions.'
The guards paid me delicate compli-
ment at the last meeting. They elected
me Child of the Regiment with the rank
of the first Compliant. was about to re-
turn thanks in neat and appropriate
speech. when reporter who was present
assured me that il was no use--he had
got the whole thing in type. speech and
all, and could read it in an evening pa.
per. He said they kept neat and appro-
pirate speech standing in type continually
| got his views aud held my peace.
Yours for the Union, including
the Stars. also the Stripes,
Fan (fa~,&s,r,,-o,