The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1861-10-04
The Front Teeth and the Grinders.

Once 4 mutiny arose in the teeth of
worthy man, in good health and blessed with
sound constitution, commonly known as
Uncle Samuel. The cutting teeth, or incis-
ors, and the eye-teeth, or CANNES, though
not nearly SO many, all counted, nor SO strong
as the grinders, and by means so white, but
on the contrary, very much discolored, began
to find fault with the grinders, as not good
enough company for them. The eye-teeth,
being very sharp and fitted for sezing and
tearing, and standing ont taller than the rest,
claimed to lead them. Presently, one of
them complained that it ached very badly,
and then another and another. Very
soon the cutting-teeth, which pretended
they were supplied by the same nerve, and
were proud Of it, began to ache also. They
all agreed that it was the fault OF the grind
erS.
About this time, ncle Samuel having US
ed his old toothbrush (Which was never i
good one, having no stiffness in the bristles)
fol four weeks, took a new one, recommended
10 him By great number of people as
homel y but useful article. Thereupon all the
front teeth, one after another, declared that
Uncle Samuel meant to scour them white,
which was thing they would never submit
to, though the whole civilized world Was call
ing on them to do SO. SO they ak insisted
on getting out OF the sockets in which they
had grown and stood for sc many years.
But the wisdom teeth spoke up for the others
and said Nay, there be but twelve of you
tront-ic",h. and there be twenty of Us grind
ers. We are the strongest, and a good deal
nearest the muscles and the Joint, but We
cannot spare YOU. We have put UP
with Your black stains, Your jumping
aches, and Your snappish looks and
now We are not going to let You 60, uI.-
der the preten>e that You are 10 be scrubbed
white. if you stay. You don't work halt 80
hard as We dc, but you can bite the food
wei enough, which We can grind SO much
better than You. We belong to each other.
You must stay
Ihereupon the front-teeth, first the CANNES
or dog-teeth, next the incisors or cutting
teeth, proceeded to declare themselves out oi
their sockets, and no longer belonging TO the
Jaws OF ncle Samuel. Then Uncle. Samuel
arose IN his wrath and shut his jaws tightly
together. and swore that he would keep them
shut I'LL those aching and d;scolored teeth Of
his went 70 pieces in their sockets, if need
were, rather than have them drawn, standing,
as some OF them did, al the very opening OF
his throat and stomach.
And now, If you will please to observe. all
those teeth are beginning to ache worse than
ever, and to decay very fast, so that j, will
take great deal of gold TO stop the holes
that are forming in them. But the great
white grinders are as sound as ever, and viii
remain SO until Uncle Samuel thinks the time
has come for opening his mouth. In the
meantime they keep on grinding in a quiet
way, though the Others have had to stop 5i-
ting for a long time. When Uncle Samuel
opens his mouth they will be as ready for
work as ever; but those poor discoorc,i
teeth will be tender for great while, and
never be so strong as they were before they
toohShly declared themselves out of their
sockets. The foregoing fable is respectfully
dedicated to the southern Plebs, who, under
the lead of their 'Patrcian masters, have Sc
ceded,' like their prede in the days of
Menenius Agrippa.-Dr Holmes.