Worcester daily spy. [volume] (Worcester [Mass.]) 1850-1888, 1861-06-24
Mortester 9ailp Syn.
JOy In the House of Ward.

form you that am in stste OF CRATE bis, and
trust these lines will fud you enjoyin the same
blessins. Pm reguvinated. I've found the
mortal waters of yooth, so to speak, and am
as Timber and risky as two yearold steer,
and in the futer them boys which seq to me
go up old bawld he'd will do so at the peril
of their hazard ndividooal I'm very happy
My house is full ofjoy, and have to git up
nights and larf Sumtimes AK myself lis it
not a dream 2 & suthin withinto me seq it
air ! but when look at them sweet little crit
tiers and hear EN- squark, l know it is reality
q realitys, l may say-and feel gay.
l returned from the summer campane with
my unparalleled show of wax works and Twin
wild beests of pray, in the erly part of this
munth.-I immejitly commenst Resin myself
with my tamerly. The other mite, while was
down to the tavurn tostin my shns agin the
bar room fire & amuzin the krowd with sum of
my adventure, who shood cum in bare heded
& terrible excited but Bill Stokes who sez
SEE he, old Ward, there's CRATE doins up to
your house.
/. SEE l, William, how SO g
SEE he, bust my gizzurd, but its CRATE do
ms & then he larfed as if heed kill hisself.
SEE |, risin and putin on austeer look
William, woodunt be fool if had com
mon cense.'
But he kept on larfin till he was black in
the ACE, when he fell over on to the bunk
WHARF the hostler sleeps, and in still small
voice sed, Twins ! | assure YOU gents that
the grass didn't grow under my f-et on my
way home, & was foered by enthusiastic
throng of my teller citterzurns, who hurrard
for Old Ward at the top OF their voises |
found the house chock full OF peple. Thare
was Mis- Square Baxter & her three grown-up
darters, lawyer Perkinses wife, Taberlhy Rip
ley, young Eben Parsuns, Deakun Simmuns
folks, the Skoolmaster, Doctor Jordin, etsette
ry, etsettery. Mis- Ward was in the west
room, which jnes the kitchin. Mis- Square
Baxter was mixin suthin in dipper before
the kitchin fire, & a small army OF female wi
min were rushn wildly round the house with
bottles of camtlre, peaces of hannii, &c.
never seed SIGH hubbub in my natral born
dase. Good not stay in the west room only
mint, so strung up was NV teelins SO l
rusht out and ceased my dubblel barrilled
gun.
what on airth ales the man g seq Taberty
Ripley.
'Sakes alive, what air you doin q & she
grabd me by the coat tales. whats the mat
ter with you!' she continrerd.
Twins, marm,' seq |, twins =
4 know it, SEE she, coverin her face with
her apun.
wall, SEE l, that's what's the matter with
mt =
WALL put down that air gun, you pesky
old fool sed she.
No, marm,' SEE ], this nashunal day
The glory of this here day isn't confined to
Baldwinsville by a darn site. On yonder
woodshed,' sed l, DRAWN myself up to my full
hite and speakin in a show actin voice, will
fire nashunal saoot g sayin which, tared
myself from her grasp and rusht to the top of
the shed, WHARF l blaZed away until Square
Baxters hired man and my son Artemus
Juneyer cum and took me down by name
force.
On returnin to the kitchin, / found quite
lot of people seated bed the fire, talkn the
event over They made room for me, &
SIT down. Quite a episode sed Doctor Jor-
din, litin his pipe with red hot coal.
Yes, .sed l. 2 eppisodes, waying abount Is
pounds jmtly.'
"A perfeck coop de tat sed the skoolmas-
IL plurIUus uuuu, pruprIvrOr pe1rvn,,
sed |, thinkin I'd let him know l understood
torrin languages well as he did, if | wasn't
skoolmaster.
1t is indeed momentious event, sed young
Eben Parsuns, who has been quarters to the
Academy.
Il never heard twins called by that name
afore, sed l, but spose it's all rite
eve shall soon have Wards enuff,' sed the
editor of the Baldwinsville Bugle OF Liberty,
who was lookin over bundle of exchange pa
pers in the corner, to apply to the Legislator
for a City Charterl'
Good for you, old man I" sed |, 'giv that
air a conspickius place in the next Bugle.'
How redicklus sed pretty Susan Fletcher,
GOVERN her face with knittn work, & larfin
like all possest.
Wall, for my part sed Jane Maria Peasley,
who is the crossest old made in the world, Il
think you all act like pack OF FOOLS
SEE |, Mis-. Peasley, air you parent?
SEE she, no l amt
SEE l. mis- Peasley, you never will be-
She left.
We sot there takin & larfin until the
switchin hour of mite when grave yards yawn
& Josts troop 4th,' as old Bill SHAKESPEARE APP
tlee observes in his dramy OF John Sheppard,
Esq, or the Moral House Breaker, when we
broke up and disbursed.
Muther children is dom well & as Res
olushuns is the order OF the day, will be OBJ
LEGGED if you'll insurt the tollern-
Whereas two Eppisodes has happned up to
the undersined's house, which is Twins; &
Whereas | like this siile, sale Twins bcin of
the male perswashun, & both boys; there4
be it
Resolved, that to them nabers who did the
fare thing by SADIE Eppisodes my hart felt
thank is doc.
Resolved, that do most hartily thank En-
Jine 10. No, II, who, under the impreshun
rum the FUSS al my mouse on That auSplShuS
mite that thare was konfagrashun goin Oh,
KUN galyanty to the spot, but kindly refraned
frum squrtin.
Resolved, that frum the bottum of my Sole
do thank the Baldinsville brass band fur Civ
in up the idea of Sarahnadin me both on that
great mite & sinse.
Resolved, that my thanks is doc several
members OF the Baldinville meetin house, who
fur whole dase hain't kalled me sinful skof
fer, or intreeted me to mend my wicked vase
and Jine SADIE meetin house to onct
Resolved, that my boozum teams with meny
kind emoshuns lords the follerin individuals.
to whit namelee-Mis. Square Baxter. who
generously retoozd TO take sent fur bottle
of camfre lawyer Perkinses wife, who rit
sum versis on the EpDisodes; the Editer of the
Baldinsville Bugle OF Liberty, who Lobly as
sisted me in woupin my Kangaroo, which sa
gashus little cuss seriusly disturbed the Eppi
sodes by his outrajus screetch;ns and kickins
up Mis-. Hirum Doolittle, who kindly furnisht
sum cold vitles at a tryin time, when it wasn't
konvenient to cook vitles at my house; & the
Peasleys, Parsunses, & Watsunses, for there
meny ak of kindness.
Trooly yures, ARTEMUs WARD.
Family Far.
Johns Room.
In the house where ! write today is one