Indiana State sentinel. (Indianapolis, Ind.) 1861-1865, 1861-08-28
SrIette0 9llstrllanp.
The Nan VIII o Knows Everything.

mighty knowing man was Caleb Page, who
kept the grocery at the fork of the road, near
WOodchuck Creek, Sprag Hollow, in the village
of Hornville. No occurrence had taken place.
of all the particulars of which Caleb did not
possess a thorough knowledge in the minutest
detail. All matters in the prospective were
anticipated discussed arranged and satisfactorily
disposed by Caleb, long before they took place
If neighbOr rushed into the store to communi-
cate what he believed to be a very recent piece
of news, he would have the conceit taken out of
him by being told by Caleb that he chad heard of
il a week ago" Events of the past. present, and
future were all the same to him: his ubiquitous
knowledge grasped and covered them ALTO him
they were all "stale news"
small bet made one evening between 81
Stevens and Joe Stubbns. ST bet Joe couldn't
nOnplus Caleb with any piece of intelligence
real or imaginary. Joe took all such bets as
that.
The following evening 81 and Joe, accompan-
led by two three of the ''boys" of the village,
who were to "help the thing along" and fill in"
proceeded to Caleb's store. After being COM
fortably seated here and there on barrels, boxes
etc, 81 opened the evenings amusement by ask
ing, in a manner that indicated he was continuing
a conversation commenced before they had enter
ed the store:
so you say, Joe, thet they caught him at
last?"
"Yes, sir, about seventeen minutes past
eight"
well, Joe. how far up the creek was it?''
"On careful consideration, l should say it
was about three miles, or three miles and a quar-
ter, or perhaps, half up the creek"
Caleb, who had not lost a word of the CONVEX
saton, dropped his sugar scoop with astonishment,
and opened his ears, for the boys were talking
about matter in which he was not posted up"
The conversation continued:
"Well" saws 81, ''that couldn't a been far from
Deacon Hunts"
jest sO,' answered Joe, cit was about eighty
rods from Deacon Hunts hog-pen, in slaunch
wise direction"
"Did you hear Joe," with face as solid as
gravestone, chow much lie they got?"
"Yes, did, replied Joe, with another face as
solemn as two gravestones: al hearn that they
got nigh about sixty barls of ile."
The wags observed that Caleb was getting ex-
ceedingly uneasy, and ''piled il on"
"Well, Joseph how long was the reptiley"
well, Silas, the insect was about eighty two
feet long, and twenty-eight odd inches broad
thick in proportion"
II thought, Joe, that there was two on EN-"
That's a fact; there was apair on 'em but they
only caught the he one"
At this point of the dialogue, Caleb became so
desperately excited that he could contain himself
no longer, and snappishly demanded to know
"what'n the thunder they were talking aboutT
''Why," said Joe with well feigned astonish
ment, 'don't you know about their catching that
are"
''That are what?' peevishly snarled Caleb.
''Why, that are whale" seriously answered Joe
Stubbins.
"a whalei" exclaimed the bewildered Caleb,
'have they caught that whale up the creekg'
They havnt caught ANYTHING else said the
imperturbabe Joe.
''And now much lie did they get?" inquired
Caleb, as he recovered his wits.
"Ninety two barls" replied Joe, forgetting the
amount he had previously mentioned
q Well" I" said Caleb. with a slow deliberation.
and a satisfied look, I'm glad they caught that
whale, heard they were arter him"