M'arthur Democrat. (McArthur, Vinton County, Ohio) 1853-1865, 1861-03-14
Aa lrishinan's TssIlmony.


-ihe proprietor ofa firstrate saloon
on Chestnut street-a handsome, wit
ty, big.headed fellow, whose nature
is like unto a brick The Major has
n most happy knack Of telling anec.
dotes, and as Providence blessed him
by filling his veins with Irish blood,
he can excel Barney Williams in the
'brogue and peeuliar manner Of the
'illigant ministry A short time ago
we heard him relate the following,
which we will give as near as we can
in his own words:
You know that it is one OF the pc.
culiarities of the Irish that when two
of them get to quarreling, all who may
be present Immediately join in, and
thus get up "a nice bit Of row in the
shortest possible notice. A case OF
the kind occurred downtown last
week. In one of the little streets run
ming from Broadway, lives an Irish
family rather remarkable for their
warlike rropensities. While at break
fast, the daughter and son, both grown
up, got to quarrelirg, and the daugh-
ter threw cup of coffee in the bro
theirs face. He retorted with the
nearest missel at hand. The mother
took the side Of the daughter; the
father that of the son-and in a mo
ment the fun - like that OF Tom
O'Shanter's witches---became fast and
furious The neighbors, (lrsh gen.
erally) hearing the row, rushed to the
door, but did not attempt to stop the
fight, and in few moments the tracas
eliminated by the father sta6bing his
wife with a carving knife. By this
time the police came and arrested the
whole party, including one innocent,
ignorant looking bog trotter, who had
been calmly standing in the door,
looking on with opcn-mouthed won
der. Eis arrest frightened him terri
bly,, and the assurance Of the officers
that they only wanted him for wit
ness, could not rem0ve his agitation.
The whole party were taken to the
Office of an alderman, and the case
was brought up for hearing. Said the
alderman to the witness:
what is yonr nameP .
Barney Dugar, yer honor
We'll, Barney, tell what you know
about this case.'
4 will, yer honor. This morn l
was takin' my bite with Molly-that's
the ould woman, yer honor)-when
heard q devil nv row over at Tins.
Iran to the door, sure, and there saw
the daughter hev the bruther by the
hair nv the head, and the bruther was
a sIatheriD' her with loaf NV bread,
when the mother, she interferod, and
the ould man Civ her wipe wild the
coffee.pot, knocsin' her back from the
table, when she graSped holt nv the
skillit an broke it over his head. an
the ould man then grasped the carvin
knife from the table an struck her in
the stumick--an' that's all | know
about it, yer honor
will you swear to this, Barney
asked the alderman.
Sure, will, sur. What shall l
swear, sureP .-
'Why, kiss the book--the Bible;
that is the only kind Of swearing we
permit here.' ......
AN is it the good 5opk must kissl
I'll do that same, sure; but would yer
honor jiSt unite that bit nv a string,
that may see if it is the good book
indadep -
That is hardly necessary, replied
the alderman. 4 give you my word
that the book is the Biole, and that
ought to satisfy you, think nd
Sure, it does sur; but Pd be better
satisfied if saw it wild me two eyes
for meself.' rs ....-.
'Well, stand back for the present,
until we see what the other witnesses
have to say t
Barney took seat on the bench,
and the case progressed to conclu.
sion.i 1t was clear that the woman
had been stabbed in the row, but none
Of the witnesses swore that they saw
her stabbed, except Barney. He was,
therefore, again called up by the al.
derman. #-
Barney Dugar, you swear posi-
lively that You saw the prisoner stab
the woman in the fracasl
'Surep
You swear you saw tie prisoner
stab the woman in the fracasl' replied
the alderman. a...... i
No sur, | didn't say that all, yer
honor
Why, you a moment ago not only
said it, but swore to it. Will you re-
peat whatyou did seeP r-
Yes, sur will. saw Tim there,
stab the onli woman wild a carvin'
knife in the stumick, but divil the bit
did ! see him stab her in the frscsa,