The Potter journal. [volume] (Coudersport, Pa.) 1857-1872, 1861-12-04
THE FRONT TEETH AND THE
GRINDERS.

Once or a time a mutiny arose among
the teeth of worthy man, in good health
and blessed with a sound constitution,
commonly known as Uncle Samuel. The
cutting-teeth, or incisors, and the eye
teeth, or canines, though not nearly so
many, all counted, nor so large, nor so
strong as the grinders, and by no means
SO white, but, on the contrary, very much
discolored, began to find fault with the
grinders as not good enough company for
them. The eye.teeth, being very sharp
and fitted for seiziDg and tearing, and
standing out taller than the rest, claimed
to lead them. Presently, one of them
complained that it ached very badly, and
then another and another. Very soon
the cutting-teeth, which pretended they
were supplied By the same nerve, and
were proud cf it, began to ache also
They all agreed that it was the fault of
the grinders.
About this time, Uncle Samuel, having
used his old tooth-b brush (Which was new
er a good one, having no stiffness In the
bristIes) for four years, took new one,
recommended to him by great number
of people as a homely, but useful article
Thereupon all the front-teeth one after
another, declared that Uncle Samuel
meant to scour them white, which was
thing they would never submit to, though
the whole civilized world was calling on
them to do so. So they all insisted on
getting out Of the sockets in which they
had grown and stood for many years
But the wisdom-teeth spoke up for the
others and said -
"Nay, there are but twelve of you front
teeth, and there be twenty Of US grinders.
We are the strongest, and a good deal
nearest the muscles and the joint, but we
cannot spare you. We have put up with
your black stains, your jumping aches,
and your snappish looks, and now We are
not gong to let you 90, under the pre-
tence that you are to be scrubbed white,
if you stay. You don't work half 50 hard
as we do, but you can bite the food well
enough, which we can grind so much bet
ter than you. We belong to each other.
You must stay"
Thereupon the tront-teeth, first the
CANNES or dog, teeth, next the incisors
or cutting-teeth, proceeded to declare
themselves out of their sockets, and no
longer belonging to the jaws of Uncle
Samuel.
Then Uncle Samuel arose in his wrath
and shut his jaws tightly together, and
swore that he would keep them shut till
those aching and discolored teeth of his
went to pieces in their sockets, if need
were, rather than have them drawn, stand
ing. as some of them did, at the very op-
ening of his throat and stomach.
And now, if you will please to observe,
all those teeth are beginning to ache worse
than ever, and to decay very fast, so that
it will take a great deal Of gold to stop
the holes that are forming in them. But
the great white grinders arc as sound as
ever, and will remain so until Uncle Sam
uel thinks the time has come for opening
his mouth In the mean time they keep
on grinding in a quiet way, though the
others have had to stop biting for a long
time. When Uncle Samuel opens his
mouth, they will be as ready for work as
ever; but those poor discolorad teeth
will be tender for a great while, and
never be SO strong as they were before
they foolishly declared themselves out Of
their sockets.
The foregoing fable is respectfully ded-
icated to the Southern Plebs, who, under
the lead Of their ''Patrician" masters,
have "seceded," like their predecessors
in the days of Menenius Agrippa.-Ihel
AtI0Dtic IEsufbIu