Bedford inquirer. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1857-1884, 1861-03-01

81 have not gambed much in thu. sort Of
property; but, as we haze concluded to save all
the women, have speculated some in pretty
girls. have already won forty nine girls
Eaader sixteen, aud eighty-three young ladies
ueder tmeutg-two--haif of them blondes, half
bfaneties. all 10 be plump, havo fno teeth, snd
a be good singers; am fond of music; these
are all 70 be delivered to ne on or before the
7th of March
"1ie are going % take some of your pTomi-
4 nen' Abolltioasts and anti-Sonthern men alive.
and have q liitla fun with chem afterwards;
Plekeas, when he found he was getting short
money, sold privileges Of slanghtef3 at
hFge Premium these are orders eatitfng the
Aalder 20 certain of tie prisoners, 70 dispose OF
as he shall choose. THESE orders are also gBm-
Hled fer very extensively. The spri7iege Of
bslaaglteF' bearing Greeley's mana was sold,
originally, for S400, and vas atterwaFd lost in
fedchTe, then lest sgain in poker, being Won by
tsiiow Oh three queens, who holds the oeder
new. he Gays he s goiag to skin Greeley alive
n fTo1t of the City Hall, Oh some Sunday
a.ofniHg 10 Mareh. Bets ara made that Gree
lay dies before he's half skinned; but the fell
lsw who owns him--who has great deal Of
aTqotiee-ssys be can skin bin 40 expeditions.
Is5 that Horace will hold out and hclier 10 he
list shred of hide.
"BeecheT was won by man WHO swore he'd
drown him like dog; this falos, however, bet
BIN on horse race, and Henry Ward was
aaYed from watery grave BY au AIabamian,
$50 mas invited ali hls friends 10 see him burn
8eachar aIige, amid tbs ruins of Plymouth
Cbnrch.
"Tou see, old Doesticks, we've got things
nj fixed The privilege Of killing you was
iaold 70 Georgian, wao said he Was going to /
sut yonr heart oul snd give il to Bis cat now
aser, | coaxed him TO play social game oil
4 eachre, ard won Jon on 'ione hand; Feu are
uc@ mine, aud | don't thipk Iii kill you for /
old times sake.
" aaa cur Hrssy gets Up iEte the Sew EHg-
/ land States We shall make clean sweep; Kill
! everybody. We have contracted with Bell
EVerette Yankee to bury the folks, he's going
10 use 'em for manure, and is bound By his !
contract to put them three feet under. So you
perceive that Piekens and the rest Of US have
got the programme all made OUT
''Yours, etc., as Of old,
"a DAMPHooL-"
Besides this letter, there was, in the same
envelope, aneiher, written in pencil, which ran
as follows:
'tDEAR DoEsTtcKs;-The other letter was
written for the committee to see; this is for your
private eye:
81 want TO get away: wait 10 come to New
York; have been pressed into this service; I've
got the rheumatism sleeping out Of doors; my
back aches from the musket drill, and my feet
are DlisteFed from constant marching. Can't
you do something for mel haven't got mary
red' Plckens assessed it all out of me, aud
all the rest of us. Try aud help me, there's
dear old hoy.
DAMPHoOL."
have no reason to doubt the authenticity
Of the first one Of my letters 1t was evidently
written By the original South Carolina Dam
phoo. ! have my doubt about the last one, as
dou't believe my Damphool would want TO
leave the South; that's the very place for hin,,
all his friends are there, and there should he
renlaia in the midst thoroof. Ii hear more,
will communicate.
Skeptcally. DoEsTIcKs, 2. B.
GEN. JOSEPH LANE.--Joa Lane wrcte
letter to his wife. giving his views of the state
of she Union. Here is the letter al reported
fer the Ksnkakee Gazette:
M orlense, jan. TO- 1861. II
Dear Gahe, | write to tell you that have
dissouted, in kommon with the Sowth. We
are afesrd of Jeems Buchanan, be Is 2 korrupt
fur us, & we have resolved to thro him on the
tender Mursy Of the North. can't tell when Ii
vii cey you, the Cuntry nsds my service, and
won't Civ her up. U rite, sci she COW and get
money, fur expect Office now.
Your husband, 10 LANE.
TIE CHALLENGE Judge being chal-
lenged by General, tho following dialogue
snsued:
General-Did you receive my note, sir?
Judge Yes, SIR.
Genoral--Well, do yoa intend to fight mea
Judge-No, sir.
Genetal-Then, cir, consider you q pitiful
coward.
Judge Right, sir, 7ou knew that very we'll,
or you never would have challenged ms. .
ApPropoq Of driaiy weathor and muddy
feet
ssFhat muddy day l met her,
When she tTipped along the street,
And, with crinotine bali lfted
Showed dainty pair Of feet"
4 crusty old bachelor suggests that dainty
in the last liue, should be 'dirty'--the old rep,
rebate.
How pleasant /, would be 10 have something
like tie following over une's grave:
Under this cypress
Smashed by high press
0i steam, | ilei
Too iondy trusted,
To boat that busted Ii
And blew me sky high.