Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1861-03-15
w. ID. WALLACH.
South Carolina Conventisu.

South Carolina Conventisp.
The Paris correspondent of the N. Y. Times
writes:
Charivari (the Paris "Punch') has some
thing to say about the row In the United States
The following is his history Of the proceedings
sn caucus ef South Carolina Secessionists:
ThsChairman-Jobson has the foor.
Jobson-Nothing is easier; I shall take occa-
sion during the applause Of the house to eat a
bite Of bread; your murmurs will give me time
TO clean the bone of my leg of turkey, and your
understandable emotions to empty a glass of
wine.
Chairman (smiling)-YouTl sprinkle your
speech.
Jobson-Yes, and beg the audience not to
be sparing of their manifestations. Light
hilarity, which the orator puts to good use.
Chsirman-Not so fast; you'll suffocate your
self.
Jobson (speaking with his mouth fulD-Gen-
tlemen, wish to submit to you project
have long studied; but must say in advance
what nerves this turkey must have had
ChGirman-Tho last remark will appear to
the audience rs irrelevant to the subject.
Jobson-No doubt; it was not to them was
speaking: it was an aside. To resume: In the
first place, gentlemen, we ought to take steps
for the organization of a powerful army.
need not tell you that the Union has never
been famous for the number of its soldiers.
A Voice-What's the difference if the quail
ity is there? General appreciation, followed
by a silence.
Chairman-Well,ha has the orator gone to sleep2
Jobson-A thousand pardons, but / had found
a more tender side.
Chairman-TO our soldiers
Jobson-No. to my turkey. We were saying
that We ought to fern powerful army; and
thanks to my project, we can form it with the
greatest facility. 1 propose to enrol the mig
gers and to treat them exactly as the East
India Company did the Sepoys- lShiyerings
and murmurs.
Chairman-You desire, then, that our slaves
should do to US what the Indians did to the
English during the last revolt.
JObssn-Certainly not; it is not that that
wish.
Chairman-That their example may serve
US for a lesson, then?
Jobson-I yield; and acknowledge not hav-
ing sufficiently reflected on what said; my
project, certainly, is not mature.
Chairman Your turkey absorbs you too
much.
Jobaon-It is finished, Mr. Chairman.
Chairman-Ah, so much the better.
Jobson-Nov that / have shown the way to
have powerful army Igroans in the audience,
Jobson profits by the noise to take pull at
his bottle. Hilarityl-w must maneuver it
usefully. We must, under the penalty Of cow
ardice, seize the city of Washington, braves,
and occupy the Capitol. We shall then have
at our disposition the Federal treasure, the
archives, and everything we need. He
drinks
Chairmsn-I would beg leave to remark to
the orator that he was not interrupted, and yet
he took a drink.
Jobson-I confess that counted on a little
applause in that place.
Chairmsn-COntinue.
Jobson-To drink
Chairman-Ehl No, to speak.
1Lot
have unrolled my vast plan, have only now
to propose myself as a candidate for the Presi-
dency.
Voices-Thank you, How you get along
The turkey has made you ambitious.
Judson-Was it not L that suggested the
means of creating powerful army?
Chairman-He is going to bore US with his
powerful army. Numerous vOces-Yes, yes |
Jobs0D, with tears in his voice. e)-Ingratitude
already. / ought to have expected as much
Be il So /; il is not to me you will owe your
numerous cohorts.
Chairman-Not possible.
Jobson-At any rate, I may aspire to the
command of the army?
Voices-Have you ever been in battle2
Jobson-Neyer and it is on that account
that dare TO solicit your confidence. General
astonishment. Speak; explain yourself 1t
IL clear that I shall not carry into the com
mand of the powerful army have created
NOlCtS-ARUlu-
Jobson-None of the prejudices of which the
great captains have given US such unfortunate
examples. If l commit any faults they will
not have been taught me by Vaubin, nor
Jomini, nor Napoleon. No, gentlemen, I sny
1t with pride, my mistakes will be above all
and before all American mistakes. Long ap-
plause.l Gentlemen throw their hats across
the hall, a few reyolvers are discharged in
token of appreciation; there results a short
respite, which enables the orator to resume his
conversation with the bottle
Chairman-I join in the acclamat ton of the
audience in order to do justice to this magnif-
cent effort of 0ratory; and desire to complete
the triumph Of the citizen secessionist by
awarding him an embrace. He seizes Jobson
by force around the middle Of the body and
embraces him the rapidity of the movement
intercepts the passage Of the liquid in the
throat of the orator and gives him violent e t
Of coughing.
Several VOices-He's suffocating; he's turn
ing blue; let him go.
Chairman with kindness)-No matter; the
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