Holmes County farmer. [volume] (Millersburg, Ohio) 1857-1926, 1861-04-11
Great speech Of Jonathan q.
smith at the WOlfcrcck OIL
Diggings.

smith nt the woIfcreck oil
Diggings.
Woycrcckcrs and Fciicr. .citizens,--At the per.
tickcler request Of Samuel Miller Hebron have
cum here 10 make speech for you. I hear stand
upon this solid old stump TO cuss and discuss upon
the all'absorbin question of lie. 1lo hunten Is
CRATE institushn. II stands prominently, glor.
iously and superscrupulously above every kind Of
hunten except olfcs hunten. THAR is different
kines of lie in this CRATE, grand and distracted
country of ours. Castor lie was wonderful in.
venshun 1t has lied the pockets Of druggists all
over the world wherever the rains of heaven and
light Of civilization hav gon hand in hand 10 smile
upon sckly world. BY it the undcrbrush and
dritwood hav been cleaned frum our stumicks and
we have been maid TO rel DICE in our strength like
giants refreshed with new corn whiskcy. lars lie,
of which thousand gallons hav been sold for
every bar that has fot, blcd and died, has smooth
ed menny bushy head Of hair for spruce young
men and smilcn maidens and been the approximate
caus Of there boin jncd in wedocks holy embrace
Sweet lie sharpens the eyes of tools, and greases
the labor saven mashincry of the world Coal lie
flashed up like powder in the pan and Threatened
to illuminate the world, and succeeded, with the
aid of ocoth, sticks, lamps and abolitionists, in
tighten up mcnny dark mite when the moon was
off on bender and the stars was too lazy to git
out Of bed. When the old can't. Slavery Consti.
tuition, Anti.Slavery Bible and Anti. Slavery Cod"
as Burlingame calls 'em, was given as burnt Of
ferin upon the Chicago Platform, it was cole lie
that consumed 'em and restored the country to its
prestine purity The country dident pay the
friends of free speech, free men and free labor
and they busted it all to eternal smash; and so it
was with coal ie it dident pay for diggin grinder
and fryin and it has gone up, and will soon be
heard Of no more forever, as long as grass grows
and water runs. The world has now gone crazy
after earth lie. 1t has got to be boren world
The Republ leans sall boren for ofies, and the To-
cofocos is all boren for lie, and tell you feers if
this borcn aint stopped all mater will be ruined--
No lily tongues or honied words can save it. The
decree has gone forth as Interchangeable as the cul-
Ter of a nigger's hide, or the wrinkles on an old
maids face. Some krazy, lily fanatics say that by
actual observashun lie is found to be two cents a
weak cheeper than daylitc, and that with plenti.
ful applicashun of it they can set the mashnery
of government in motion until she will run like q
gray hound with tin pan tied to his narrative, but
tell you the thing wont work. And sense lie is
cheeper ner daylte it is proposed to abolish the ole
fogy lite of the sun, which shines but half the time
and makes the air warm in summer time when VIC
don't need it, and when we need warm in winter /
is as cold b,chelors heart in the cellar of al
ice house, and to lite the world with lie; but tn,
thing cant be did ner toad can swell to tn
portly proportions ofan OK without spilen his in
nards. Then, it is proposed to abolish the moon
which aint of much account no how sense the In
gems is nearly all gone, and have lie lite mite an,
day. These things mite be crate improvements
they Good be dun without spien the earth, an
leaven 1t as dry as the throat of Temperance lee
turer, but there is the rub. This lie that is in th
bowels of the earth was put there for wise an
noble purpose. 1t was put in to grease the axis
or axlctrce, of the carth so that it mite run with
out screachen like a yankee wagon, and if yo
keep taken this lie out the old earth wont run
She turn out regular stick in the mud, and yol
cant move her no more ncr you Good whistle
hungry SOW from trough of swill.
No, no, this lie business will never do. 1t mus
be stopto or all the good old American institutions
the sun, moon, stars and earth erected by on
dads after they was led on to victory by Napoleon
Bonypart at the battle of Yorktown, will be noel;
ed into eternal smash. Ole Abe is goin to an
nounce his policy one of these days and then yo
will see his foot come down feminist lie, and thel
woe to the scabby cusses who don't grease an,
slide out of his way.
Tie Sun and Moon shall shine q while,
To beautify the earth
Such greasy stuff as carbon lie,
Will ne 'er be half their worth.
No lily cuss shall spile the globe,
BY pumpen out is fat,
And leavcn it greaseless as robe;
| No, nary time do that.
Then friends and brethren, all unite
For the good old things of yore,
And aid the friends of truth and right
In enden this lie bore.
Fellcrs, am about to suicide, but before
squat | want you one and all to by my Concrapu
lated Essence of Snaii Ingen YARDS at twenty
five cents bottle.
Examin alton of Teachers.
0,,S Co, 1,,t q,