The Placer herald. [volume] (Auburn, Placer County, Calif.) 1855-1991, 1861-09-07
The War Fever in Baldwinsville.
BY ARTEMUS WARD.

!. AS soon as I'd recooperated my physikil
systern | went over into the village. The
peasantry was glad to see me. The school
master sed it was cheern to see that gigan-
tic ntelieck among 'em onct more. That's
what he called ne. like the schooltnastcr.
and alters send him tobacker when lm off
on q lravelin cappane. B sides, be is a
very sensible man. Such men must be en-.
couraged.
They don't git news very fast in Badns
vile, as nothin but plank road runs in
there twice IA week, and that's very much out
Of repair. So nay nabers wasn't much posted
up in regard to the wars. Squire Baxter
sed he'd voted the dimcratc ticket for goin
on forty year, and the war was dam black
republican lie. 10 Stackpole, who kills hogs
for the Squire, and has got powerful muscle
into his arms, and sed he'd bet S5 he could
lick the Crisis in fair sandu fight, if he
wouldn't draw knife on him. SO it went
some was for war, and some was for peace
The schoolmaster, however, sed the Slave
Oigarky must cover At the feet of the n forth
ere a year had flowed by, or pass over his
dead corpse. "Esto perpet"a.'' he added,
"And sine qua non also!' sed |, sternly, wish
ING to make mpreshun onto the villagers
"Requescat in pace!' sed the schoolnaster.
"Too troo, too troo," | ansered, "it's a scan.
derlous facl"
The newspapers got along at last, chock
full of war; and the patriotic fever fairly bust
out in Baldinsviile. Squire Baxter sed he
didn't believe in Coercion, not one of 'em,
and could prove by file of Eagles of Lib
erty in his garrit, that it was all whg le
got up TO raise the price of whiskey and des-
troy our liberties But the old Squire got
putty ry when he heard how the rebels was
cuttin up, and he sed he recloned he should
skour up his old muskit and do little fin
for the Old Flag, which had alters bin on the
ticket he'd voted, and was too old to Bolt
now. The Squire is all right at heart, but
it takes longer for him to fill his venerable
Biler with steam than it used to when he
was young and frisky. AS previsly in
formed you, AIN Captain of The Badins'
Vile Company riz gradooally but majes'
ticy from drummers Secretary to my pres
ent position. But found the ranks wasn't
full 10y no means, and commenced for to re-
croot. Havin notist a ginera desire on the
part Of young men who are into the Crisis
to wear eppyIits. determined to have my
company exclusively of offissers everybody
to rank as Brigader General. The foIerin
was among the gAris questions which put
10 recroots:
DO you know masked battery from
hunk of gingerbread
DO yon know an eppylit from piece of
chalk?
If trust you with gun, how many men
of your own company do you speck you can
manage to kill durin the war9
Hav you ever heard Of Gnra Price of
Missouri, and can you avoid simler accidents
in case of battle2
Hav you ever bad the measles, and if so,
how many?
How air you now9
Show me your tongue, DC, DC. Sum of
the questions was sarcusstica|.
The company filled up rapid, and last
Sunday we went to the meetin house in full
uniform had seris time gittin into my
military harness, a, it was bilt for me many
years ago; but finally got inside of it, tho
it.ft,ed me puttry cTost. Howsever, onct
into it, lookt fine-in fact, awinspirn. "Do
you know me, Mrs. Ward!" sed |, walkin
into tie kitchen.
"Know you, you old fool! OF course l
do"
saw at onct that she did.
started for the meeting house, and I'm
fraid | tried to walk too strate, for | cum
very near fallr over backwards and in at