The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1861-07-10
Drafting for the Army.
A RICH SCENE.
BY CHARLIE

ern part OF this (Dntehess) county,
week or two ago.
It appears that a young man en-
gagged In pedling Yankee Notions,
happening TO stop for the night at 1
tavern with his wares thought he woull
have some sport with the rustics, be-
fore taking his departure, and accord.
ingly he adopted the plan of repre-
senting himself 10 the employ of Uncle
Sam
Before retiring fof the night he had
his landlord Of the hotel we'll posted
as to his plans for the morrow. giving
him proper instructions TO inform the
greenys" that there wgs a drafting
officer now stopping there.
In tie morning he sailed forth into
the barroom and the first one he
picked out" of the crowd, was 6
man pretty well advanced towards
forty-fve years of age. apparently 6
coward at heart.
The officer advanced towards him
placed his hand upon his shoulder. at
the same time asking his name
Oh I cannot go !" exclaimed
the man II cannot go; I'm not 4
sound man. / have had my fore-fin
ger bruised, three of my ribs broken
and have lost the use of my right eye.
1 can't go 4! | tell you TN got sound
man."
The officer thinking that the man
had sufficient reasons why he could
not go, left him and proceeded on to
another man somewhat younger than
the first he acco sted.
!" Come up here my fine fellow p
said the public funetionary, What is
your name SIR"
"Oh /! shall die before get there!
cried out the second, somewhat en-
couraged by the success Of the first,
in getting off from being enrolled,
never can go. | am so nnwell |
Every well, my good fellow, care
lessly replied Uncle SAM" I will
never release yon On any such pre-
tense as that, unless you will get the
written certificate of some practicing
physi ian, well known in this vicini-
ty."
Accordingly off starts the "green
un' for the nearest doctor. Arriving
at the house almost out of breath, he
rusheS in the doctors Office and cries
in stammering manner
"Doc-Doctor I want you to give
me a certificate to show to the men
what pulls me off to join the army,
that I'm not we'll man."
Well" replied the doctor, don't
knew as / can do that for you. ]
cannot say you ard not we'll man.
would periure myself if | did,"
ooh now dear doctor, you know
it would be the last time I would see
" SAL" if they do take me off. CAM
you jest set it down for me-"
While the second character wa:
gone for the doctors certificate, the
drafting officer had struck on about
twenty others congregated about the
room, each one having, in his own es.
timation, some very plausible excuse
for not wanting to go.
It soon became rumored around the
village what was going on at the tav-
ern, and both old and young, male
and female, rushed to the scene, tht
men begging to be "let off for once,
and the women crying and going int
Mysteries, upon the anticipated loss o
husbands and lovers.
The "officer" after having enrolled
a sufficient number of men to satisf,
his fun-loving characteristics gave or
ders to them to appear on the grounc
the next morning, to be in READINGS
to go to Albany the day following t.
be armed and equipped.
Many were the tears shed tina
night, and many we're the wills made
Lovers and husbands parted, as the,
thought for the last time, and moth
ers thought they could never let thei
Zachariahs GO to be shot at by tn
tarnal rebels.
The morning came, and the crow
began to gather around the hotel. Ev
erything was ready to start--when-
lo--the pedlar had decamped for part
unknown. The cry of sold I! sold !!
went up from every mouth, and tn
men returned to their work, declarin,
that they would treat him to Goa
of tar and feathers, if he should hap
pen that way again.
AN EXCUSE. School teacher
sometimes receive very funny excuse
for the absence of children from recita
tons. The following is about a
original as anv we ever saw.