The Grand Haven news. [volume] (Grand Haven, Mich.) 1858-18??, 1861-06-05
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.
= Companions of the Bath--Soap and

= Companions of the Bath--Soap and
towels. ''' 'a .'''' eA
= Poverty wants some, luxury many,
and avntice Ill things.
= Modosty is the red rose that is worn
over a white heart.
| : An Irishman's sweet heart-A bull
locks heart stuffed with tracle.
- Men wounded by the explosion of
bomb shells, arc wounded mortar ly.
| - A preacher should not wink at the
vices of his congregation nor at the young
ladies. ~ 'an On $500 ''
= False friends, like our shadows, keep
close to us in the sunshine, and vanish in
the shade. .se .f "a.
- "You give me quite turn" as the
thief remarked when he was put upon the
treadmill. as sa.
- Remedy for fits-Buy your clothes
at a slop7shop, aud you will never have a
| fit aiterward.
= Prentice styles the leaning tower of
Pisa, the great Aalie in tho literature of
architecture.
| - No maiden ever unlocked her heart
to lover, but kiss was the first prison
er to fly out.
4
: Horace Greeley once gave his idea
Of happiness as a whole day upon the so
ia with new book.
= Napoleon was ambitious to rule a
nation; Washington was ambitious that
nation should rule itself.
- We must reconcile ourselves to our
enemies when we are dying, remarked an
old topper, as he called for water.
= Water isn't fashionable beverage
for drinking your friends health, but it is
a capital ono for drinking your own.
= True friends are like true diamonds,
scarce but precious. False ones arc like
the leaves of the forest, without number.
= A little boy being asked at Sunday
School, "what is the chief end Of man ~
answered, 'the end what's got the head
on"
"A Frenchman intending to compi-
ment n young lady by calling her gen
tic lamb, said, "She is one mutton rs is
small"
= Be, if YOU can, q man Of hard and
severe thought, but avoid making your
self the subject of the hard and severe
thoughts of your noighbors.
- An independent man is said to be
one who can live without whiskey and to.
bacco, and shave himself with brown soap
and cold water without u mirror.
"Good morning, Mr.. Henpcck, have
you any daughters that would make good
type sotters?' "Not exactly, but | have
wife that would make first rate der
am
= Madame de Stael says, there is Of
ten in the heart some mate image Of the
beings We are to love, that lends to our
first sight Of them almost an air Of recog
milton.
- Why there are more women than
men is explained by DR., Quincy: at is
in conformity with the arrangements oI
nature; we have always more of heaven
than heart"
- Many man thinks il is virtue that
keeps him from turning rascal, when in
reality it is only a full stomach. One
should be careful, and not mistake pud-
ding for principle.
80, Jacob" said master to his ap-
prentice-boy, it is wonderful to see what
a quantity you cat" "Yes, MASTER" re-
piled the boy, e" | have been practicina
since | was child" ..,
=" Ma, get down on your hands and
knees minute please"
"What ON earth shall | do that for
petg"
"'Cause | want TO draw IN elephant.'
= They mean to raise tall students out
in Wisconsin. An exchange paper says
shat its board of education has resolved
TO erect a building large enough to accom-
modate 500 students three stories high
1 - sJulius, why didn't you oblong your
stav at the seaside!" n
"Kase, Mr.. Smith, ,2ey charge so much.'
| "How so, Julios?"
"Why, de landlord charged dis color.
cd individual with stealing do silver
spoons"
- A candidate for office calls at The
residence of gentleman TO solicit his
vote -..i.,
Canddate-"M Madame, is your husband
aboutg
Lady" Yes, sir; he has gone TO haul
dead dog away, and will be back di-
rectly.p s t .s -s
| 4 Ill. l.. I .ool~