Ashtabula weekly telegraph. [volume] (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1853-1873, 1861-10-05

Il the Atlantic Monthly;
FpoNr-rEEru AND THE GRINDERS.
Once on a time a mutiny arose
among the teeth ofa worthy man,
in good health and blessed with a
sound constitution, commonly l..
known as Uncle Samuel. The -
cutting-teeth, or inciSSorS, and eye = ?
teeth, or CANNES, thoughtnot near y
ly so many, all counted, nor so
large, nor so strong as the grin !,
ders, and by no means so white,
but, on the contrary, very much ;
discolored, began to find fault with
the grinders as not good enough
company for them. The eye-teeth
being very sharp and fitted for
seizing and tearin G, and standing
out taller than the rest, claimed
to lead them. Presently, one Of
them complained that it ached
badly, and then another and anoth- |
er. Very soon the cutting-teeth,
which pretended they were suppli-
cd by the same nerve, and were
proud Of it, began to ache also.
They all agreed that it was the
fault of the grinders.
About this time, Uncle Samuel
having used his old toothbrush
(Which was never a good one,
having no stiffness in the bristles)
for four weeks took a new one,
recommended to him by a great
number of people as a homely but
useful article. Thereupen all the
teeth, one after another, declared
that Uncle Samuel meant to scour
them white, which was a thing
they would never submit to,
though the whole civilized world
was calling on them to do so.
So they all insisted on getting
out of the sockets in which they
had grown and stood for so many
years. But the wisdom teeth
spoke up for the others and said !;
'sNay there be but twelve Of
you front teeth, and there be
twenty of US grinders. We are
the strongest, and good deal
nearest the muscles and the Joint
but we cannot spare you. We
have put up with y our black stains
your jumping aches, & your snap
pish looks, and now we are not
going to let you go, under the
pretence that you are to be scrub
bed white ifyou stay. You don't
work half so hard as we do, but
you can bite the food well enough
which we can grind so much bet
ter than you, We belong to each
other. You must stay"
Thereupon the front-teeth, first
the CANNES or -dog-teeth, next the
incisors or cutting-teeth, proceed,
ed to declare themselves out of
their sockets, and no longer be-
longing to the jaws of Uncle Sam
uel.
Then Uncle Samuel arose in
his wrath, and shut his jaws tight
ly together, and swore that he
would keep them shut till those
aching and discolored teeth Of his
went to pieces in their sockets, if
need were, rather than have them
drawn, standing, as some of them
did, at the very opening Of his
throat and stomach.
And now, if you will please to
observe, all those teeth are begin
ming to ache worse than ever, and
to decay very fast, so that it will
take a great deal of gold to stop
the holes that arc forming in them.
But the great white grinders are
as sound as ever, and will remain
80 until Uncle Samuel thinks the
time has come for opening his
mouth. In the meantime they
keep on grinding in quiet way,
though the others have had to
stop biting for long time. When
Uncle Samuel opens his mouth
they will be as ready for work as
ever; but those poor discolored
teeth will be tender for a great
while, and never be so strong as
they were before they foolishly
declared themselves out of theil
sockets.
The foregoing fable is respect
fully dedicated to the Southerl
Plebs, who. under the load of thei
"Patrician" masters, have "secet
ed" like their predecessors i'll Il
days of Monenius AgriPpa.
BRANDY AND HONEY FOR BEAR
-Wallachia, one of the Danubia
Principalities, abounds in hone