Worcester daily spy. [volume] (Worcester [Mass.]) 1850-1888, 1861-06-15
d0lortester 9ailp Spp.
HOUSE CLEANING.

Il am about to clean house, my dear" my
wife replied.
"You look as if you were about to become
an inmate Of the insane asylum" l answered,
for my wife was shockingly attired in dress
ing-gown that had seen better days and many
house-cleaEings. She carried long handled
feather duster in her hand, and had cap on
her head.
ooh, you may sneer at me as much as you
please, she said "but presume you would
find adherence iii the appearance of the house
if it were not that | superintended the clean.
ings."
"What possible good is accomplished" l
asked "by turning the house upside down in
this manner For my part, l never could see
that YOU improve its appearance in the leastby
doing so, it is simply a conounded bore, and
have come to the opinion that if there be but
one thing dislike more than another, it is
house-cltaning.
"One thing is very certain" she replied,
(Which is, that you men know nothing about
it Look at that cobweb in the corner, there p
And my wife made an attack with the long
handled feather buster upon an iBoffensiye
hltle cobweb, that thought rather ornamen
tai than otherwise.
"Now, don't you think" | said, "tlat if
you were to clean one room at a time, that it
would be great deal better than throwing the
one week, for instance, to the cleaning OF the
pariors, another tc the dining room, and so on.
That is my plan"
cat that rate housekeeping would last
through an entire year, md |, Tor one, am not
disposed to adopt your plan. No. want to
put il all into as small space as possible, and
get through with it as speedily as L can If |
were TO follow your suggestion, the dust and
dirt raised in cleaning one room would be sure
TO settle, or, i'll some way, get into another
room: just put to rights and the result would
be that house-cleanlng would never end No,
every thing must be done at once"
"Well, my DEAR" said, 'Ill not attempt
to argue the matter with you, Tor L know it
would be a very useless task, but l must say,
that my mother, who understood these things,
used to-
"Of course" my wife interrupted, "your
mother did very differently from what do
She was differently situated, and could do as
she pleased. A widow, left as your mother
was, could have her own way in a great many
matters which we poor wives cannot follow. l
know your mother was very remarkable wo
man but ] trust that do my duty TO you
and my children and my house, as well as
know how. 81 don't" continued my wife,
putting the end Of the handle of the feather
buster into the corner of her eye and brushing
out an imaginary tear, ''think it fair, or hon
orable or generous, or husband.like in you to
be always telling me how much better your
mother kept house than do. | wish to gra.
cious you had married your mother"
''Pooh pooh !" l exclaimed you know
that wouldn't have been proper. | might have
married your mother, though, which void
have been as near as l could come 10 crafty
ins s.es.~ ,aisi-''
My wife smiled.
MY mother wouldn't have had you, sir .
she said.
"She would not have shown as good taste,
then, as her daughter did, replied.
"Her daughter sometimes regrets the good
taste she showed, my wife said mischevous-
ly
Il think you are mistaken, my DEAR" an.
swered, "but am ready to waive the question:
provided you will tell me when dinner will be
ready. 1t is six O'Clock, and as yet l see no
signs OF it,"
q thought ! told you. before you went
away this morning." my wife made answer,
''that you would have to get your dinner down
town, for that we should have none"
"You did say So, l replied "but l sup
posed it was simply a hint for me to send
home something from the market, which L
did"
81 know you did-enough TO feed The alder
men and their assistants with, How did you
think it could be cooked when we were clean
ing house 2"
Il didn't know you were going to clean
house, | said. 81 wish to gracious / had
wouldn't have come home till midnight" t
Eyes. and left your poor wife here in the dus
and disorder, while you were feasting and en-
joying yourself. l am glad. now, YOU have
not been to dinner, Tor you can see what l
have TO put up with !--how l have 10 get
along, and how uncomfortable even to me,
housekeeping is"
81 presume it is, my dear" | said, in mol
lifted tone of voice, tor | was DESTROYS OF hav-
ing my dinner and did not care to provoke
my wife; "and am very sorry that GU deem
it necessary to engage in it. Why don't you
sit down quietly, and let the servants do the
work. don't think it necessary for you to
lit finger 70 it,
"Nicely the house would be cleaned. in.
deed" she replied, 'if l did not You men
know nothing about it, and l just wish you
wouldn't speak another word on this subject .
''Verry well, let me have some dinner"
replied, so put into mouth, and l will not If
there he one thing dislike more than anoth-
err It's going without my dinner"
II am sure | don't know, said my wife,
"what you will have to eat, for it is utterly
impossible Tor me either OF the servants to
stop work tpresent TO cook anything"
ooh, anything will answer" l said, "a
piece Of cola meat pie, or slice of boiled ham,
Tor instance. That, together with an apple
tart and glass of wine, think, will suffice.
Let one OF the servants set the table in the IL
biary, and then send the things up, if you
please"
My wife laughed.
I'll you think, she said, ''that we have any
meat pie or boiled ham in the house. you are
greatly mistaken"
why, we had some yesterday" answer
ed "wliere has it gone to 2"
"Gone to 2" echoed my wife. "Don't you
suppose the children and servants must eat %
"Why, yes, certainly answered ;"but-7
"But what 2" interrupted my wife "You
don't think meat pie will! last forever,
trust ?"
"No," / answered "but my mother, at
house cleaning time, always had a meat pie
and boiled ham in the cupboard"
''There it is again." exclaimed my wife
"you are always comparing my housekeeping
with your mother's and l don't like it. ] en-.
deavor to do the best l can, and if fail to
have a meat pie and a boiled ham in the house
whenever you ask tor them, | am certain to
have your mothers ways cast into my face.
/ don't do things as your mother did, know,
and, what is more, don't intend TO. If you
are not satisfied with my manner of keeping
mouse, why, you iau uetteI llle uouseAeePet
who will suit you better. | never heard my
tather-and he was a most tasiidious man
complain of my mothers housekeeping, and
she taught me. Everybody who knew my
mother always said that she was the neatest
and most perfect OF housekeepers."
"Good gracious p l exclaimed; don't say
anything more to me about your mother, Tor
If there be one thing l dislike more than an
other, it is to hear about her housekeeping
But all this time, while you are talking about
the excellent housekeeping qualities OF youl
mother and yours am absolutely starving
Now, once for all, can l have my dinner OIL