Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1861-11-21
GALL FOOLS OUT wEsT".

Many years ago "all fools out West was
cant phrase to indicate a bunder which green
hands right out of the heart of the East, fire.
quently made in imagining that because the sun
was behind them MS they set their faces west
ward, that luminary must needs be in the KNAPP
sack on their own shoulders-that they were
bringing all the light with them.
They had read Bishop Berkely's prophetic
line about the star of empire going West, un-
ill they fancied themselves the star-'bright par
ticular.' They had heard that Indians yet roam
the praires of Illinois that the inhabitants are
divided into four classes: hunters, trappers,
savages, and human beings; that wampum is
legal tender and that children afectionately
kill their grandmothers.
And the most curious thing about the whole
business is, that they beliered it all and believ-
ed, too, that the lamp they carried was borrow
ed of Diogenes, and revealed the man the cynic
vainly looked for, in the person of the bear
er.
We confess that fifteen years ago, ace should
cred the sun, caught up the lantern, and came
to the West with just these notions. 1t did not
take us long to find out that they had day
hereaway erery day. AT last, some ill-natured
fellow asked us with Winnebagoish leer how
many people over fifteen years of age, there
were in Connecticut in 1915, who could neither
read nor write
Now you may Judge how unkind this was,
when you know that our ancestors came from
the State aforesaid and that to u.s. brought up
in the wilderness of Northern New York, the
sun seemed to rise from the bosom OF that State
every morning; when you know, too, that we
found the happy people he was inquiring after
made regiment of Dogberrys six hundred
strong! He could not have done an unkinder
thing without asking us about their cousins in
Northern New York, where we were born and
where thanks to the woods and hollow logs
the census taker couldn't catch the ignorant
catechumens.
You may believe we left off swearing by the
East-concluded to swear not at ALL and to
make ourself worthy to live in the West, if we
could, and to let the prairie winds blow our sill
ly airs away. We have often wondered since
that anybody forgave us for thinking we had
entered upon missionary ground and for be.
ing absurd enough to tell of it because by look
ing in mirror and about us, we discovered
that several of the fools out West Mad moi
been here great while.
A well-known bird, that knocks importunate.
ly upon tree-trunks, is said to be the biggest
when first Matched. 1t has its parallels among
featherless bipcds. We suspect ace were fine
specimen of the parallels, and cannot help
smiling when, now and then, we see little proofs
that birds of feather are yet tumbling Out
from the same old nest. We have "a fellow
feeling for them, and have often told our ex.
perience, and counseed them, for the sake OF
their own usefulness and happiness, to grow
small by degrees and beautifully less as fast as
possible.
Many man has come to Chicago in our day
with thousand gifts to make him useful, against
whom the doors of mems hearts were closed
because he thought an oyster-knife good enough
to open them with.
The West is glorious field wherein to labor
if not to wait; and he who tolls earnestly; who
outlves affectation; who does not carry any
old Anchises about upon his shoulders, will one
day deem it joy of his heart. and the pride
of his life that he has beeu deemed worthy tc
live and labor in the WEsT.-Northe,n Hin
Oian.