Pomeroy weekly telegraph. [volume] (Pomeroy, Meigs County, Ohio) 1860-1866, 1861-04-05
Speech Of Gen. Riley,

dressed the House:
Mr.. SPEAKER:-Everybody is pitch
ing into this matter like toad frogs into
a willow swamp, on a lovely evening, in
the balmy month Of June, when the mel
low light of the full moon 6lls with Il
delicious food the thin, ETHEREAL atmos-
pheric air, [Applause.] Sir, want TO
put in word, OF perhaps word aud a
half.
There sesms to be disposition to
fight. l say, if there is any fighting to
be done, come on with your corn-cobs
aud lightning bugs! Applause. In
the language Of the ancient Roman,
aCome one, come all, this rock shall ay
From its firm base, in pigs eye
Now there has been great deal of
bombast here to-day. | call it bombast
from "Alpha to Omega" q don't un-
derstand the meaning of the words
though.) Sir, the question to refer is a
great and magnificent question. 1t is
the all absorbing question-like q
sponge, sir, large, unmeasurable
sponge, of globe shape, in a small tum-
bier Of water-it sucks up everything.
Sir, Tstand here with the weapons have
designated to defend the rights of St.
Louis county, the rights of any other
county-even the county Of Cedar itself,
Laughter and applause. Sir, the de
bate has assumed latitudinosity. We
have had little black jack buucombe,
little two-bit buncombe, bombast bun
combe, bung- hole buncombe, and the
devil and his grandmother knows what
other kind of buncombe. Laughter.
Why, sir, just give some of en- a
little Southern soap and little North
ern water, and quicker than a hound
pup can lick skillet they will make
enough buncombe- -lather to wash the
golden flock that roams abroad the
azure meads of heaven. eheers and
laughter.l allude to the starry frma-
ment.
The Speaker. The gentleman is out
of order. He must conGne himself to
tne question.
Mr. Riley. Just retain your>linen if
you please. I'll stick to the text as
close as pitch plaster to a pine plank,
or lean pig to a hot jam-rock. Cries
of Ego on; you'll do
l want to say to these carboneriferous
gentlemen, these igneous individuals,
these detonating demonstrators, these
peregrinous volcanoes, come on with
your combustibles! If | don't-well,
I'll suck the Gulf of Mexico through a
goose quill. Laughter and applause.
Perhaps you think | am diminutive tu-
bers and sparse in the mundane eleva-
ton. You may discover, gentlemen,
you are laboring under as great a mis-
apprehension as though you had incin-
Grated your inner investment. In the
language of the noble bard,
81 was not born in ticket
70 be scared by cricket" Applause.
Sir, we have lost our proper position
Our proper position is to the zenith and
nadir-our heads to the one, our heels
to the other, at right angle with the
horizon, spanned by the azure arch OF
the lustreus frmament, bright with the
corruscations Of innumerable constella
tions, and proud as speekled stud horse
"But how have the mighty fallen, in
the language of the poet Silversmith.-
We have lost our proper position. We
have assumed sloshindicuiar or a di.
chronological position. And what is the
cause? Echo answers, ''buncombe, sir
"buncombe." The people have been fed
on buacombe, while lot Of spawned
ring -boned, ham strung, wind CALLED
swyn-eyed, split hooled, distempered
poll-eyiled, pot -bellied politicians have
haa theiS noses in the public crib unit
there amt fodder enough left to make
cruel for u sick grasshopper. Cheers
and laugl ter.
& Sir, these hungry brats keep tuggine
at the public teat. They say, 'let down
your milk, Suckey, or you'll have split
bag. DO they think they can stuff
such buncombe down our craw? No
sir; you might as we'll try to stuff butter
in wild cat with hot awl. [Contin.
ued laughter The thing can t be did.
The public grindstone is a great in.
stitutlon, sir-yes, sir, a great institu-
tien. One of the greatest perhaps, that
ever rose, reigned or fell. But, sir,
there is too much private cutlery ground
The thing won't pay. Occasionally a
big Ak is brought in to be fixed up, os-
tensibiy for the purpose of hewing
down the knarled trenge of error; and
clearing out the brushwood Of ignorance
and folly obstruct the public highway
of progress. The machine whirls, the
AK is applied. The lockers on are en-
chanted with brilliant sparks elected =
The tool is polished; keenly edged; and
while the publiestare in gaping expec-
fancy of seeing the road cleared, the
implement is slyly taken off to improve
the private acres of some faithful
friend of the people" What is the. re-
suit? The Instructions remain unmoved.
The people curse because their car lags
--or, if it does move, tbs at the expense
of broken wheel and jaded and sore
backed team.
l tell you the thing won't pay The
time will come when the nasal promo
tories of these disinterested grinders
will be put to the stone, instead Of their
hardware. Appiause. I am mighty
afraid the machine is going to stop
The grease is giving out laundering
fast. 1t is beginning to creak on its
axis. Gentlemen, it is my private opin-
ion that all the "grit' is pretty near
worn off. Applause
Mr.. Speaker, you must excuse me for
my latitudinousity and and circumloeu-
toriness. My old blunderbuss scatters
amazingly, but if anybody gets peppered,
it amt my fault if they are in the way.
Sir, these dandadical, supersquirtical,
mahogany faced gentry-what do they
know about the blessings Of freedom?
About as much, sir, as toad-frog does
Of high glory. Do they think they can
escape me? I'll follow them through