Delaware State journal and statesman. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1855-1870, 1861-03-05
NO. 10.
WIT AND HUMoR.


world with no less than six and Phlletus studied
himself to death in his vain endeavors to solve H.
When have married people passed through the
alphabet OF love. When they reach the 6a-6s.
Congress Water-The tears that the Heraid
says were shed when Secession Gongressmen
babe farewell to the Senate
whats that p asked Mrs. Partinglou, locking
up OF the column Of the Place Vendome, during
her late visit to Paris. The pillar Of Napoleon
was the answer We'll, l never did, she ex-
claimed and that's his pillar He was a great
man to use that; but its more like bolster
Alb, Isaac, see what tits to be great How hard
his head must have rested on that ironical pill
low
The most direct method Of determining horse
power-stand behind and tickle his bind legs
with briar
What is the difference between butcher and
young lady! The former kills to dress, and
the latter dresses to kill
A letter writer frsm Naples says: Standing
on Castle Elmo, drank in the whole sweep q
the bay What a swallow he must have
If there is anything that will make woman
swear, il is looking for her nght.cap after the
light is blown out
Billy, how did you lose your finger p
Easy enough, said Billy.
4 suppose you did but how
i guess you'd a lost yourn, il IL had been
where mine was
That don't answer my question:
We'll, If you must know said Billy, Il had to
cut it of, OF else steal the trap
is is possible, miss, that you don't know the
names Of some of your best friends i-'C Certain
ly do not even know what my own may be in
a year from this time.
Husband don't know where that bov got his
bad temper; am sure not from me- NO, my
dear, for don't think you have lost auy."
1t may sound like paradox, yet the breaking
Of an army's wings is pretty sure way to make
it Ay
When are soldiers like good aannel-Whsn
they don'' shrink.
Elopement Extraordinary Mr.. Jones dog
eloped with Mr.. Smiths dinner.
lover. vainly trying to explain some seen-
tihc theory to his fair inamurato, said: The
question is difficult, aud don't see what can
do to make it clear
damsel.
An lrishman meeting a countryman, inquired
his name.
Walsh, said the man.
walsh, responded Paddy. sAre ye from
Dubling l knew two old maids there Of that
name ; was either Of 'em yer mother
q say. Pete, does you know how dey keep
oysters from smelling in the hottest Of wedder T.
'em2'
why, dey fuss cut their noses oH, and den
dey can't smell muffin. o, yah, yah what an
unpenumtraton tuseumery nigger you is
couRTMo.-some chap who speaks as know
ingly, as If he had experience, says;
For the other half Of courting match there
is nothing like an interesting widow. There is
as much difference in coursing damsel aud at
tractive widow as Ia oipbsTiBs 10 addition ssd
rule Of three. Courting a girl is like eating
fruit-all very nice as far as il goes but doing
the agreeable to the blue.eyed bereayed one in
black Grape GENES under the head Of preserves
rich, pungent syrup. For delicate courling,
we repeat, gives usa live wilder
To keep apples from rotting-place them in
dry cellar with fifteen children.
When young Hodge first came up to town bis
father told him il would be polite when being
helped at dinner to say to the host, sHnlf that
if you please II so happened that at the first
dinner to which he was invited, a sucking pig
was one of the dishes The host pointing with
his knife to the young porker, asked, We'll. Mr..
hauneh of mutton?' Upon which, recolleoling
his lesson, he replied, Half that, if you please,
to the CONSERVATION Of all present.
The purest joy We can experience in one We
love, is to see that person a source of happiness
to others.
A SgAsoEABLE IIST.-Don't undertake to
throw cold water on your wife's darling schemes
unless you want to get into hot water.
RIDRLE FOR rHE Social Cmc1E.-When is
young lady like pOachers When she has her
hair in q net
Can't take anything stroug. -'Digby, will you
take some Of this butter 2
Thank you, ina am, | belong to tie temperance
soeiety-can't take anything strong replied
Digby.
Cant we make your lover jealou7, Missp p
'Oh, yes cir, l think We car, if We PIT oar
heads togsther.'
a Domestic Toast-May your coffee and the
slauders against you be ever Rike-wiiheut
grounds
A s,eeled Heart.--'I am afraid Of The light
niog,' murnureG pretty woman, during a
thunder storm
,wel, you may be- said q departing lover
'Nheu your heart is steel
The poetcal youth who stole a joy from fate,
has been arrested for rlbbine anger ot bee lrown.
Whatever opinion may be held Of the Efficacy
Of suich IL time It is vastly preferable TO a
suich in the side.
wopcn's hearts, like may Of the Western
ba ks, benefit iheiF owners by trraking; the
fracture, III both instances, taking place when
tue most can be- made by it.
The half famished victim Of a cheap boarding
house, when presented with his bill refused TO
settle until his coffee showed the example.
Il wish you had been Eve, said an urchin to
an old maid who was proyerbial for her mean
mss.
Why so"
because said be-, you would have eaten oil
the apple instead Of dividing with adam
4 young widow was asked why she was going
to we'd so soon amer the death OF her first hus-
band: Oh la, said she, Il do it to prevent fret
ting myself to death on account Of dear Tom
Say this correctly without stopping. 'Baudy
Legged B4rachio M1stachio whiskerifusilcus tho
bald and brave Bombardiuo Of Bagdad helped
Abomilique Blue Beard Bashaw Of Bnbelmaudeb
to beat down an abominabe Bumble Beo at
Balsora.
-sssss-
GENTLE SHEPHERD TILL Me Why ~ rise.
Mr., Public, with some hesitation (being born t.
bonnet, though no fault Of mine), to ask u
question: Why is il necessary 10 sezuaizs nees-
pgpers9 Why cannot in intelligent woman ap.
preciaie paper which c0mmende itself to The
perusal Of an intelligent man don't fancy
this Shaker way Of seating the sisters on one
side Of the house, and the brethren ou the other.
1t is my present intention to cross oser and take
a saat on this question with the brethren. Per.