Cincinnati daily press. [volume] (Cincinnati [Ohio]) 1860-1862, 1861-12-27
RAILROAD NDvBNVURE.
Showing how swipes oct Portion of His
hOhe.

"My dear, can you inform me what caused
Mr. Swipes' nose to be so misShapen and so
very red?' inquired Mrs. P, the other day.
"Mrs. p, allow me to remark, that if the
question you have just propounded, referred
To the missbapen noses of some gentlemen
that wot ot it could not be very satisfac-
torily answered; but in this instance it will
afford me an immense deal of pleasure TO sat-
isfy your commendable curiosity. There
fore, sweetness, come sit thee down, and 4
will tail unfold, that will harrow up thy
soul open thy two eyes like unto saucers,
take all the curl out of those auburn locks,
and make each particular hair to stand on
end like bristles on that pork o mine. There
fore, list Oh, listi
"Mr. Popkins, do wish that you would
be serious for once in your life, and answer a
plain question without so much fOolery"
'Quintessepce Of loveliness, interrupt me
Lot; neither be sarcastic, or, by my hall
dome 'Swipes' nose shall be to you as a
sealed book. Iprythe, simmer down"
She gently siDmered, and | commenced
my story:
During the summer of l849 my friend
Swipes aDd | were sojournipg among the
wild mountain regions of Western Pennsyl-
vanih-be, ior the purpose of recruiting his
health, and /, merely for amusement. For
you must know, my dear, that I've always
been blessed with redundancy of health,
requiring no mountain air to sharpen my ap-
petite-a fact that was soon discovered by
the somewhat parsimonious landlord with
whom we tarried on that occasion. Well do
| remember how he stood sghast at the
rapid depletion of his well filled larder; and
how he quaked when | called aloud for
Wooster sauce to stimulate my appetite.
Excuse the depression, but ones epigastrum
IS q subject so pleasant to dwell upon.
"Our time was principally employed in
cunning ard fishing. AT early cock CROW
in the MORN with fOwling piece on shoulder,
preceded by dog both good and true, we'd
wade through many marsh, never failing
to be rewarded With brace or two of wood
cock before the breakfast hour. or, wishing
to change the scene, would leisurey traverse
some noble forest amid the interviewer
branches Of whose trees the gray squirrel
held high revel, ard whose sports we oft
brought to an untimely end by our unerring
aim; or, away 10 the clearing, whose green
aud lauIelcoveTed surface shone brightly in
The summer sun. There, ever and anon,
could be heard the loud drumming of the
pheasant, as percbed upon some decaying
timber, be would thus inform us of his whore.
abouts, and invite US To take a shot.
"TiIipg of this, we'd saunter steadily along
the moss.covered margin of some narrow
brCoklet, whose musical gurgling tintilated
pleasantly on the ear, and here we'd 'trsul
the gilded fly,' every now AID then landing
safely upon the bank speckled denizen of
the silver stream, whose brilliantly varie-
gated skin glisteped in the sunlight, as he
houDdeIed on the grass in the agonies of
death. Oh, what glorious fish they are, to
be sure! AS the nursery play has it, OI
all the birds in the air, and all the fishes in
the sea, pick me out trout
"'Twas thus our time few swiftly by, al.
though, 10 me, il was somewhat monoto
nous. Ore sultTy morning Swipes proposed
that we should ride the raip upon a road
Just finished, and upon which they we're, a.
yet merely rubbing burden cars. Knowing
that 1t passed through lovely section o
country, abounding in pleasant scenery, &c.
], nothing 10th, at once scceded to his fai
proposal, and away we started for the sta
tioD, reaching there just as the ear splitting
whistle announced the rapid approach of tn
expected train.
mot feeling disposed to be cooped up in
side the i'll. ventilated car, and also 70
tie better opportunity of viewing the coun
try, we cor clnded 10 mount on top, Whicl
exalted position we managed to reach afte
Il deal Of scrambing Poor S. severely
barked bis shins by the operation. Albeit
not given 10 profane language, he certainly
did, on that occasion, give utterance to
most emphatic ahjurgatiOn, which, | humbll
trust, however, will not be rememberet
against him, as II WAS evidently called spon
taneously forth by the painful accident.
"Aftel seating ourselves a u Turk, | pro
dUced a bundle OF prime cigars, and
pocket pistol with which I'd taken th
pIecautiou TO arm my self 10 case of sickness
you know, my dear"
"Mr. p A., permit me to suggest that it wa
quite unnecessary for you 10 mention III
weapon just alluded 10, for | really neve
knew you TO go any where without takinI
that pTecsutlOn, as you call il; and it's a eau
tion how you take il. | verify believe, siI
that if you we're merely going to Smith
Island yCu would call il a voyage and TAX
with you that horrid pistol"
This was a little joke of Mrs. P.'s; (sb
will have her little joke, even though
needed by merely remarking, in dignife
manner, that apparently had powerful etfeG
upon her;
Madam, if you presume TO interrupt m
b again, shall close the thrilling narrativ
before reaching the terrific and heart-rend
lDP denOuemeDt."
And then resumed the story:
THE panorama spread out on either sid
OF us was truly grand. Away TO the righ
could be seen stately mansion, built G
come material that was dazzling in its white
pess, and stood out in bold relief against th
Emerald-hued background OF vsrdure, il
which il was imbtdded. Here ABd ther
were great fields Of wheat, whose golde
tops nodded 10 and fro, waved by the fitfJ
breeze, and gracefully bOWing their wei
filled heads, 10 token that the time had a
most come when the resper's hand would Ia
them level with the earth. ....
"ApoD, we would suddenly come upon
cluster OF sweet little cottages, literally co
cred with the ruby tinted honey suekle a.