Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1861-11-30


New SONG" How do you like the
clam song p asked an old lady Of her
daughter, as they stepped into the street
after popular concert.
Calm song ~ exclaimed the young
lady in astonishment. why, what do
you refer 10 moth?'
"Why, the first one she sung
"Oh You mean Shells Of the Ocean,
don't YOU, mother?
"WeIl, yes" said the old lady. II DO
think that was It ; it was something about
clans, any way, and you do know like
them SO we'll. Didn't you like it p
INVALUABLE RrcEIrrs.-For preserving
the complezion-Temperance.
For WHEELING the hands-Houesty.
Fer the m0u5tacnios The razor
TO remove Repentance.
For improving the sight-Observat
a beautiful ring-The home circle
For improving the yoice-Civilty.
The best companion " the toiet-A
Wife.
70 keep away moths-Good society.
My little boy riding home with me one
evening, brirn full on enthusiasm and fun,
having evidently " made good day of it,
broke out in this: " Oh pa pa there
is such & nice little girl comes to school
little katy D. Oh! pa she's such
nice lit.le girl like Katy D." land
loohing me full in the face with a voice
slightly lowered, and an earnest motion of
the head Id marry her, pa, if knew
how T.
Some music teacher once wrote that
the "art Of playing on the violin requires
the incest PERCEPTION and the most sensi
bility Of any art in the known world.'-
Upon which an editor comments in the
following manner: The art Of publish
ing newspaper and making it pay, and
at the same time making it please every
body, beats tiddling higher than kite"
"Come in and go to bed" said wife
to a jolly son Of Erin, who had Just re-
turned from the fair in dubious state
"you must be tired with your long walk
of two miles, "Arrah get away wild
yer nonsense" said Pat; ait wasn't the
Hugth Of the way at all that fatigued me,
but, but the bred,h av it"
ana, did women 90 priyateering in
SER pture times?' Ast0nshed mother
"No, George, what could possess you to
think so?' Chill: Why, ma, | heard
you reading in the Bible last Sunday about
the ciciows crUize!'
What a glyious world this would be if
all its Inhabitants could say with Shakes
peare's shepard q" Sir, am a true labor
er; | earn what | wear owe no man hate :;
envy no mans haprinesB glad Of other
mems COED; content with my farm"
Never delay till tomorrow, what reason
and conscience tell you ought to lie per-
formed to-day. To morrow is not yours
and though you should live to enjoy it,
you must not overload it with bugtAen
not its own.
A volunteer, wiring from the seat of
war, thus teracIy speaks Of the quality Of
the c0ntraog clothing furnished them. He
says, "most Of them will cone home in
their Shirt sleeves, and with flag Of truce
.fyjng IN }he rear, at that"
q" Hast thee ever yet loved, Henrietta ?"
/ sighed. g should rather imagined |
had" she replied oh, did not my CLAN
ces, my feelings betray, when you helped
me the third time to pudding to day."
An Irish stationer, after advertising a
variety of articles, gives the following
m"ta beaa -" To regular customers | sell
waters gratis
Since the lst Of August, guns and mus
kets to the value OF %230,0O0 has been
imported into New York, and rifles to the
value of $7j0,000.
A recent philosopher discovered a meth.
Cd to avoid being dunned How? how? ?
how p every body asked. "Nerer r,D, il,
dejh'
Abou, Fifty students from the four Col
lego classes at Oberin, or one fourth OF
the whole department, are now in the
army.
ILL.-Iaior Semmer is quite sick at
PatiinvilIe, Va. His wife has been tele
graphed for and has left to join her hus
band
Wherever the Confederate armies 20
the inhabitants lose flesh at most alarm.
ing rate. The rebels steal all their cattle
aud horses.
Why are ladies the biggest thieves in
existence? Because they steal their pet
ticoa,s, bone their stays, and crib the
babies.
Water isn't fashionable beverage fol
drinking to your friends health, but it's Q
capital oae for drinking to your own.
When we find great natural courtesy il
the poor, VIC find it in company with su-
perlor native sense Or great tenderness o
feeling
Some wretch has proposed, as grea
peaee measure, that all the lawyers in the
country go to the wars.
Some think that the chief reason Why
the rebels don't retreat from the Potomac
is that they have sore feet and 40 she's