Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1861-03-07
Steamboat Dialogue.

Hoosier (stepplng up to down Easter :,
How are ye stranger? Bound to Moo Leans
'spect? What mout be your business 2
Want to buy some corn or oats?
Yankee: Tolerable, thank ye; how be
yearself? Bound to no place in particular,
in for any kind of trade.
Hoosier: What kind of trade hav ye !
Yankee: Wall it's patent right.
Hoosier: Patent right for what?
Yankee Patent right for machine for
making all kinds of seed out of wood, from
shell.bark down to grass seed. Have also
patent right for the mirage life.preser7er.
Hoosier Meerage-what's meerage?
Yankee It's machine to be fixed on
the front of a locomotive or steamboat,
with reAectors of great power, to show the
image cf anything ahead, no matter how
far it be off-anythiug under hundred
miles.
Hoosier: Don't say ! and are you the in,
ventor?
Yankee be.
Hoosier: You're horse. What mout
your name be!
Yankee Coffin.
Hoosier: Heerd tell of your family. You
are relation of the man that invented
wooden hams and plaster paris shoe nails.
Had brother once, hadn't you, that got
accidentally choked with rope round his
neck ?
Yankee: Knew the mau-wasn't a
brother-only second cousin to my wife's
sisters aunt's brothers cousin. But what
might your name be?
Hoosier: 1t might be Smith, but it faint.
Calculate it's Caster.
Yankee: Knowed yer family we'll from
yer great grandfather down. You air one
of two twins One was handsome, cute,
bright eyed little chap, and the other tar
nation ugly, born fool, and heerd that the
cute one died.
Here the dinner bell rang.
Tom CoRw1N's W1T.--While this
capital joker was member of the General
Assembly of the Ohio State, he brought in
a bill for the abolition of public punishment
at the whipping post. He made a speech
thereon, to which an elderly member repli-
ed somewhat as follows:
"The gentleman is not as old as | am,
and has not seen much of the practical op-
GRAFTON of the system of punishment which
he desires to abolish. When I lived in
Connecticut, if fellow stole horse, or cut
up any rustics, We used to tie him right up
and give real good tbarashiu' ; and he al
ways cleared right out, and we never saw
him any more. It's the best way of get
ting rid of rogues that ever was tried, and
without expense to the State"
Corwin rose and replied:
"Mr. Speaker, l have often been puzzled
to account for the vast emigration from Con-
necticut to the West but the gentleman
last up has explained it to my satisfaction. "
The bill was passed without further dis.
cussion.
Sa- While walking down College street
last Sunday evening, "Tbe Subscriber
came up with two negro boys Gagged re-
spectively ten and fifteen years." The
younger one carried an appleiu his hand
and the elder one was using all his elo.
quence to obtain 'jes one bite" of it.
"Well," said the young one fnal!y,-
"I'll give you jes one bite, but don't you
take no maore'n jes one bite"
The larger one took the apple, opened a
mouth that would have been creditable to a
hundred and-ffty-pound catfish, and bro''
it down on the fruit, leaving very small
share on the outside.
"Good gracious, Jim '' said the little
one, looking up at the operation with as,
tonishment, "you take the apple and give
me the bite !"-NashvWe Patriot.