The Alleghanian. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1859-1865, 1861-05-02

picture shop, studying 1t very attentive!y
IN order not to see certain persons the
very sight Of whom is always painful to
persons of nice sensibility.
Not being hardened to such trihes by
long use, felt rather sore and irritable.
Under the old regime it had always boen
pleasure to near a ring at the door, be-
cause it was the signal for an agreeable
visitor but now it excited disagreeable
apprehensions, and sounded Ike the knell
OF dun. In short, [ grew crusty and
fdgety by degrees, insomuch that Mrs.
Sowerby often exclaimed:
"Why, what is the matter with you, Mr
Sobersides Why, | declare somehow
or other you DON'T seem the man you used
to be-"
I could have answered the new Mr.
Sobersides has killed the old Dir. Sober
sides. But | said nothing, and only
wished her upstairs among the old furni-
ture
My system Of reform produced another
source OF worrying. Hitherto my old
furniture and myself were SO long acquaint-
ed that l could take all sorts OF liberties
with it. l could recline on one end Of
the sofa on az evening, or sit on one of
the old chairs, and cross my legs Gu am
er, WITHOUT the least ceremony. But now
torsooth it is as much as [ dare do to sit
down on my new acGuaintances; as for q
| lounge en- the sofa, which was the Cleo
patra for which [ would have lost the
world, | should as soon think of taking a
nap on a fine lady's sleeve. As to my
little ramtiple boys, who had hitherto
feared neither carpet, chairs nor sofa, they
have at last been schooled into such awe
OF iuery, that they viii walk about the
parlor on tiptoe, sit on the edge Of Il chair
with trepidation, and contemplate the
sofas at distance with profound venera-
ton, as unapproachable 'divinities. To
cap the climax of my system of reform,
my easy-old-shoe friends, who came to see
me without ceremony, because they felt
comfortable and welcome, have gradually
become shy of my new chairs and sofas,
and the last Of them was fairly locked out
OF the house by certain parsonage for
splitting accidentally upon new brass
fender that shone like the sun at MONDAY
| might hope that in the course Of time
these evils would be mitigaued by the fur
niture growing old and sociable by degrees,
but there is little prospect of this, because
1t Is too fine for common use. The carpet
is always protected by an old crumb cloth
full OF holes and stains; the sofas and the
chairs in dingy covered sheets, except on
extraordinary occasions, and [ fear that
they will last forever-at least longer than
shall.
[ sometimes solace myself with the an
ticipation that my children may live long
enough to sit upon the chairs with impu-
nifty, and walk on the carpet without 60
ing on tiptoe.
There would be some consolation in the
midst Of these sore evils, If | could only
blame my wife for all this Many philos-
ophers are of the opinion that this single
privilege Of matrimony is more than
equivalent to all the rubs and disappoint-
ments Of life; and l have heard q very
wise person affirm that he would not mind
being ruined at all, if he could only blame
his wife for it. But I must 90 mine the
Justice to say that she conbatted Mrs
Sowerby gallantly, and threw every obsta-
Gle in the way Of my system OF reform,
advocating the cause Of every old piece Of
furniture with a zeal worthy Of better sue
cess. I alone am to blame in having
yielded to that wicked woman, Mrs. Sow
erhy; and as a man who has ruined him
self by his own imprudence is the better
qualified for giving good advice, l nave
written this sketch Of my own history to
caution all sober, honest, discreet people
against commencing a system Of reform
in their household Let them Jeuare OF
tie jirSt naarder!'