Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1861-10-13
MIsCKLLANEoUs CLIPPINGs

MISCELLANEOUS CLIPPINGS.
"The victory Is not always TO the strong,
as the boy said when be killed the skunk with
a brckbst.
do try to talk q little common sense said
a conceiied youth to a young lady. b
womb not that be taking al unfair advantage Of
you?"
1t is easy in the world to 1--we after the worlds
%opinion: il is easy in solitude TO live after ouT
own, but the great man is be who in the midst
of the crowd Keeps the independence OF soil
tude.
"Ohl Nj. Ill.," said one of the Rev. Row
land Hills hearers, how is it that you say such
out of the way things in your seTmons?' An!
said the eccentric divine, " because you are such
out of the way sinners
"How SHALL sell my horse ?" said q certain
doctor 10 horse Jockey; his tail came oil in
! less than six hours after | bought him = Why
sell him by wholesale" replied the other,
" for sure, no honorable man viii Try to retail
him"
An Irshman who lives with q GrahamiIe
writes to a friend, that if he wants 10 know what
lligant living is, be must come 10 his house,
| where the breakfast consists OF nothing, and
supper Of what is left at breakfast.
A poor fellow who took the overland route to
California, writes back that he was so hard run
in Nav last, that he had to boil his cotton UNI
brella for gTeens-for a knuckle OF ham, he had
to use his old shoe.
Il can't speak in pubGe-never done such a
thing ia my lle,' said g chap the other night
at a public meeting, who had been called upon
to hold forth, but if anybody in the crowd will
| speak for me, I'll hold has hat
An inveterate dram drinker being told that the
cholera with which he was attacked was incura-
bic, and That he would speedily be removed 10 a
world Of pure spirits, replied, We'll, that's com
fort at all events, ioT its very difficult 10 get any
in this world"
A"fast' man undertook the task Of teasing an
eccentric preacher. do you believe, said he,
in the story Of tie Prodigal Son and the Fatted
Calf2' Yes, said the preacher. well, then,
was il a male OF . female calf that was killed ~
"A female" promptly replied the divine. How
DO Won know that" "llcc3use' Cooking the
interrogation IN the face Il sec the male is alive
now"
An alderman by the name Of Kirk owned q
valuable mare, which WAS put under the care OF
an Irish servant. The mare happened to die.
one day BY some violent disease, andth servant
immediately informed his mistress. " Marm,
the mares dead" The mayor dead - replied
the lady. Then / suppose Mr.. Kirk viii be
mayor now" 81 lndade, marin" exclaimed Pat,
81 its not the man mare, but the 'OrSe mare that |
name"
Was not that cool of a merchant who was sit
ting in barber shop the other day undergoing
some tOnsorial operation, when his partner in
business stripped in and quietly remarked;
Brown. our place is on fire. We'll, let It
burn. it's insured" @Yes, / know, but it will
make a pretty warm fire, and / thought I'd just
drop in and tel YOU about it; / didn't know but
would like TO see the old place bum" Well,
wait a minute or two, till nay other whisker's
trimmed, and III govifh you"
A eepsns-man in Sullivan county. Pennsylya-
MIA. came TO the house Of Hiram Wilson lie
was not at home, but his wife was. She is not
as bright as women generally, aud in course Of
his inquiries he asked Der agr, 10 which she re-
piled:
Il was twcnty-six years old when ! was mar
ried. Was married two years when Bill was
born. Bill was four years old when Ann was
born. Ann was ten years old when Charley
was born. Now you tell me how old | am"
The triumph Of woman lies not in the admira-
ton Of her lover, but in the respect of Der hus-
band, and that can be gained only by q constant
cultivation OF those qualities which she knows
he most values.
Too much time should not be spent in plan
ming what we viii DO. More time should be de-
voted to doing what We lay out than IN laying
ont fine schemes that are destined never 10 be
realized. Those Of 100 many hopes are the most
inefficient members Of society, for they accom-
plish nothing. 1t is best 10 adopt one pursuit
and to exhaust IN that all the energies Of mind
aud body.
PoGteness pays abont as well as almost any
thing else that costs as little. Think of 1t.
The captain ofe vessel is not governed by
his mate, but a married landsman generally is.
Books are embalned minds-fame is the fom
upon the heart of the dead.
Wh-n a man wants money or assistance, the
world, as a rule, is very obliging, and lets him
want II.
Beauty with virtue arm Ifs possessor with
double power to wound or please. Bot beauty
without virtue, is Ike the hectic hue Ofdceth on
the check Of society.
When a single gentleman cannot pass a
clothes line without counting all the long stock
inss, il is a sign he ought TO change his rela-
tious in life, and the sooner the better.
Every man cherishes IN lis heart some object
some unknown shrine at which his Alienation
is paid, unknown to lbs fellow moTtsls.
The saving there is more pleasure in giving
than receiving is supposed TO apply chiefly to
kicks, medicine and advice.