Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1861-02-01

IcSS VI We party iauSIleu AZ MN SO untnercl-
fully, and suggested that We should waltz il
out together, that he finally cooled down,
and skunk away to take some private convey
i Bob Styles and are living in large double
house together. He often says that he owes
his wife to my masquerading, but he doesn't
my wife to the same thing.
N. B.--My wife's name is Jenniel ....
I .a t.....H ..s..e From the Printer
Newspaper Sketches.
| ~ CLIFTON n. NICHOLS,
Editor Of the Springfield (ohio) Daily News
THE DEVIL.
The "Devl" is an institution bv and OF
himself. He inks the type, or turns the
crank, or lays on the Sheets" (Other peo-
pie sometimes do the latter) If It were not
for him the paper would not come out,"--
He sweeps out the office. He builds the fires
An appropriate work for q fiend--and
swears because some one has hooked the
kindlings!' He does the "chores at the
house." He "quiets the baby" Yet his
most important duty is to keep watch on the
street corner so as to be able to inform the
editor when the sheriff is after him!
With all this, the Devil" shoulders all
the bad or smutty jokes of the editor. When
the mighty nan Of the pen is ashamed of an
expression, and still desires to utter it, he
say, tour Devil says thus and So" and the
poor devil has to stand it!
Nevertheless, the Devil" is an impor.
tant parsonage in society. He attends lee
lures. He freqlents concerts, shows, and
the opera; butt say it more in sorrow than
in anger-he seldom attends church |! He
presents himself at the ticket office of the
SHOW, with his Linen" reversed by way
Of a change, Qor he seldom possesses more
than single Shirt as "member Of the
Press" and so presses his claims that he is
admitted without the accustomed quarter.
Indeed, he gives the ticket agent no quarter
until he is admitted without the quarter.
But our young friend is not alone. He is too
much OF gallant for that His "woman F"
is with him, and he and his woman" pass
in and enjoy the entertainment, which, what.
ever 1t may be, is taken down in doses alter
mated with peanuts and tobacco. For the
| Dew" !" chcws as well as smokes, asd spits
profusely upon carpets when he gets within
reach Of them.
never. heard Of a Printers Devil who had
risen in life" but do the class the Justice
to say that, to my knowledge, none of them
have fallen very low. Some Of these Deyils''
have descended to be mayors of cities. Some
Of them have even let themselves down into
Congressman. But never knew one to de-
grade himself so low rs to become q Presi.
dent Of the United States, -.-
So much for the "Devil." I know the
animal" I've been there myself.
| THE "JoUR PRINTER"
Allow me to introduce the Jour. Prin.
ter" OF jacks-at-al-trade he is the chief.
tie never finds an emergency to which he is
not equal. ... -. ....... ....
He is in every desirable place, at all times.
He is always "at the fire e"-sometimes
bootless, and hatless, and shirtless still he
is there!
He is in California, at Pixies Peak, or in
Utah. and has practical belief in plurality
OF wives! He rejects the current proyerb
tthat there can be too much of a good thing
in this respect
He is engaged alike in John Brown insur.
rections and southern secession movements.
OF course he has joined the Sons of Malta
long ago. He is one Of the pioneers. His
admisson was irregular. Very much to the
discontinue of the order, he swindled the
goat out of his accustomed perquisite in the
butting line--seizing the animal by the tail
and reversing the engine!" And, after he
had seen the elephant, or rather, the goat, he
published his experience in the newspapers,
illustrated with cuts.
1t is very plain he could swim ; at least
he "got along swimmingly."
| The " Jour. Printer" travels. He is not
| fsar, x1xy, ILL h.
Of circumstances. His little brass rule is an
open-sesame alike to steamboats, and rail cars.
He occupies the choicest seats, and puts his
muddy boots, or shoes, upon the velvet cush-
ions. g.
He is always strapped more or less
generally more. Still, he declares the "world
owes him living" as surely as he owes his
washerwoman an indefinite sum which she
never will get
lie is never out of spirits-anmal spirits,
1 mean-for he is sometimes crazy for want
OF the variety 'clept "ardent." In some
cases, his idea of Paradise is, a huge barrel
ofOld Bourbon, pierced for largesized straw
with his mouth at the muzzle.
repeat-he travels. At one point in his
perigrinatiobs, he works at his profession I"
lit would be sacrilege to call it ''trade -
at another, he is quack doctor, with an ad-
equate supply Of bread pills and molasses
syrups; at another, he assumes ministerial
robes, occupies the sacred desk, drawls out
in lugubr:ous tones the paragraphs of pur-
loned sermon, and addresses the throne OF
grace, in style peculiarly his own!
AT an other point. finding game to be
plucked, he plays euchre-whatever that is
for little loose change" 1850.
The world is his country--he basks in the
sunshine Of every climate. The bones of his
comrades whiten alike the plains Of Mexico.
the hillsidcs Of the Crimea, the barren wastes
Of the Arabian deserts.
This is hardly fancy sketch.
''YE LOCAL.
Next comes We Local." He is an indis-
pensable adjunct to every well-conducted
newspaper. Everybody knows him
If my rural friend comes to town, he " sees
him." He is standing on tie street corner.
he meets him on the pavement, possibly with
. bill for collection!
"Ye Local is ubiquitous.
Ha Dutchnlan drink forty glasses Of lager
at sitting, "ye LEGAL" sees it done, and
helps do u. If plug-muss occur at mid
night, he is certain to be present, and, ten to
one he has 4 black eve for the neYf ,ueck