Columbia Democrat and Bloomsburg general advertiser. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1850-1866, 1861-08-03
Mike Fink and the Bull.


one hot Sunday morning, and had Just
got his clothes oil, when he saw Deacon
Smiths bull making at him-the bull was
a vicious animal, and had come near kill
ing two or three persons-consequently,
Mike felt rather 'jubus." He didn't want
to call for help, for he was naked, and the
nearest place from whence assistance could
arrive was the meeting house, which was
at that time filled with worshippers among
whom was "thc gal Mike was paying his
devours to-" So he lodged the bull as
the animal came at him, and managed 70
catch him by the tail. He was dragged
around till nearly dead, and when he
thought he could hold no longer, he made
up his mind he had better "hollor.u And
now we will let him tell his own story -
$50 looking at the matter in all its bear
ings, cum to the conclusion that I'd bet
ter let somebody know whar was. 50 I
gin louder yell than locomotive whistle
and it warnt long before seed the Dea-
cons two dogs comm down as if they
war seein which could get thar fust. I
knowed who they were arter-they'd jine
the bull agin me, / was sartin, for they
were orful wenomous, and had spite asin
me. So says 1, old brindle as ridin is as
cheap as walkin on this route, if you've no
objections, I'll jist take deck passage on
ar back O. youru. So wasn't very long
gettin' astride of him; then, if you'd bin
thar, you'd have sworn thar warnt nothin
human in that ar naiz the sile few go or.
fully as the critter and I rolled round the
fcld-ono dog on one side, and one on the
other-tryin' to olinch my feet. prayed
and cussed, and cusscd and prayed, until
l couldn't tell which I did at last-and
neither warn't no use, they war 60 orfully
mixed up. -.
Well, I reckon rid about half an hour
this way, when old brindle thought il way
time to stop to take in supply of wind,
and cool off little, So when he cot
round to tree that stood thar, he natu-
rally halted. So sez T., old boy, you'll
lose one passenger, sartin. So l jst clum
up branch kalkerlatin' to roost thar till
l starved, afore I'd be rid round that or
way any longer. war maxim tracks
for the top of the tree, when l heard suth.
in a maxim orful buzzin' over head. I
kinder looked up, and if there warn't-
we'll, thars no use o, swearin' now, but
war the biggist hornets nest ever built
You'll gin in,' now, I reckon, Mike, cause
there's no help for you. But an ides
struck me then, that I'd stand head bet.
ter chance ridin' the bull than whar
was. sez I, old feller, if you'll hold on,
I'll ride to the next station anyhow, let
that be wbar it will. So I jist dropped
aboard O. him again, and looked aloft to
see what I had gained by changin' quar-
ters; and, gentlemen, Pm liar if thar
wasn't nigh half bushel of the singin'
varmints ready to pitch into me when the
word 'go' was gin.
Well, 1 reckon they got it, for all hands
started for our company. Some on EN-
hit the dogs-about quart struck me, and
the rest charged on brindle. This time
the dogs led off fust, dead bent for old
deacon's, and as soon as old brindle and I
could get under head way, we followed.
And as war only deck passenger, and
had nothin to do with steerin' the craft,
swore if had, we shouldn't have run tha.
channel, any how.
But, as said afore, the dogs took the
lead-brindle and I next, the hornets
dre'kly artcr. Tho dogs ycllin'-brindle
bellerin,' and the hornets buzzin' and
stingin'' Well, VIC had got about two hun.
dred yards from the house, and the deacon
heard US and cum out I seed him hold
up his hand and turn white. I reckoned
he was prayin' then, for he didn't expect
to be called for soon, and il warnt long,
neither, afore the hull congregation-men,
women and children-cum out, and then
all hands went to yellin'. Mono of 'em
had the first notion brindle and belonged
to this world. l jist turned my head, and
passed the hull congregation. I seed the
run would be up soon, for brindle couldn't
turn an inch from the fence that stood dead
ahead. Well, we reached that fence, and
l went ashore, over the old critters head,
landin' on 'tother side and lay thar stun
ned.
1t warnt long afore some of 'em rs war
not scared, cum runnin' to see whar war,
For all hands kalkelatcd that the bull and
l belong together. But when brindle
walked off by himself, they seed how ID
war, and one of 'em said, Mike Fink has
got the wust of the scirmmage once in his
life -