Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1861-04-09
RICHARD RUSTY SEEKS AN OFFICE
by THE YOUNG I'm

minute uudrQ, dt SQuam.
DICK Rusty had lied his seven dollar coat
fefereiy' bearing torch in the Wide Awake
processlons,-he had served as under Secre-
tary At the town and county conventions, he
was tue very TrSt man, in his neighborheod
VINO nad fought of "Old Abe" for President,
anu ~ ne determined to be counted in" sure,
si'e- Inauguration. And SO, carpet-bag in
land, one fine morning recently, he found
himself jogging up PeRnsylvanis Avenue, in
the great city of ''vuitures. hacks, and mag
nifcent distances" p"
Washington is a very nice place Dick had
his papers" with him-to wit, few badly
spelled and worse written vouchers for his good
character and sterling" political principles
and knowing himself lin his own esteem) sound
on the goose, upon reaching Washington he
sailed in for the little government office he
coveted in his native town.
Having carefully enveOped his credentials,
he started them to the Department to which
they were addressed, and triumphsntly sat
himself down In the garnet room of his board
1ng-house, to await an answer from the Hon
Secretary. And thus he lcatted
One day-twO, three, five-a week, expired
But no reply by post, as he had expected
Now, this was a rery singular circumstance,
Gin Mr.. Rusty's Opinion) and the delay very
unusual, In his experience. Indeed, after a
time, 1t came to look very much like a SLIGHT
towards him. What cOnid it mean? He wrote
to enquire why his "little NATTER had not
been attended to.
He got no reply to this, either. Again he
addressed the Department upon the same sub
Ject. But he received no answer This was
an outrage. Whereupon, having waited an
other week he determined, yaliantly to know
the reason Tchy."
Mr.. Rusty had not omitted to stir up the
Hon. Representative from his District, (who
assured him he would 'Tlook into his case y,
and then he waited once more. lie found the
COnpty Editor too VI hO ch9ncaI n IN ba I,o
applicant for place, and he promised to attend
to Mr.. Rusty directly And again he waited.
Still no reply. And thus four weeks run on.
and Rusty's money run out.
Astonished and exasBerated, he started Mt
length for the Departme ent in person He found
at least six hundred persons there before him.
all religiOusly bent on an errand similar to his
own. lie waited six mortal hours in the great
windy passage-way, where he was squeezed.
and elbowed, and jammed, and nearly suffoca-
ted; but still he struggled for his "turn." He
got sight Of the inner door lust in season to ace
the Honorable Secretary emerge and pass out
to his carriage, for home. Business was over
for the day, and the mob rushed down the
stairs and retired.
But Richard Rusty, of Squam was q man Of
business; so be followed up his object next day,
and the next, and the next AT last he sue
ceeded in getting inside, where the following
colloquy ensued:
Good morning, Mr. Secretary" =" SAYS RUSTY.
confidently; and ne grasps the Secretary 8 hand
like - son Of Malta who has passed his
twenty-third degree.
GOOD morning" responds the Hon. Secre-
tary. blandly.
''Mr. Rusty-Richard Rusty, SIR, adds our
friend.
- Yes; very happy, Mr.. Rusty. From In
diang queries the Secretary, silly.
No, sir-no."
"Oh-ah, no. From Illinois, then ,"
No, sir. From Squam," says Rusty, mod
es;ly.
Name, l think ~
mo, sir. Connecticut
All, yes. Very happy. Yes, Connecticut;
Rusty Squam. 1 know now"
MIR Rusty fdgets So does the Secretary
Each is desirous to get out of the others pres
duly referred, with his papers, to File Clerk
No; II, who The Is informed) takes charge"
OF his documents. Rusty retires in high gIee
In his own judgment he has ruon.
he waits again. Three days-fve, week
fortnight; but he hears nothing; and then he
ventures to wait upon Mr. File Clerk No. 81,
where he inquiries about his "little affair -
No. Il has five bushels Of unopened letters on
bis table when Rusty enters.
What name, sir ?" he asks.
"Rusty, sir. Richard Rusty
Our Ofhce-hunter is not a little nettIed In
learn, as he now does for the FIRST time from
the ME clerk, that Messrs. Dusty, Custy, Dus-
~, Fusty, Gusty, Husty, Justly, Kusty lager
beer manufacturer Lusty, Musty, Nusty, and
rusty, are all before him-on the lift of appli-
sants; Tor, unfortunately, our friend from
Squam is away down among the RS,
But Mr. Tile, clerk No. 81, is patient man,
and polite. He has been in Office a dozen
years, and "will do anything to oblige Mr..
Rusty" Except to give him any lucid infor
nation And so No. 2l refers the applicant
to Mr. White, No. A, aext room overhead.
Up goes Rusty Mr.. White sends him to Mr.
pun fourth clerk, No. Sc. up two flights fur
ther. Mr.. Buff knows nothing of Mr. Rusty
squan 1" case, but thinks Mr. Drab can in
form him about it. Mr.. Drab can't saw, GER
tain, but directs the tired but patient epouirer
10 Mr Redd, down stairs, three flights, end of
third passage, 10 the left-north Rusty has
no compass with him (and really couldn't use
1t, if he had y but he finds his man. Mr.. Redd
is very busy, and very short, but has no doubt
tnat M: cray, (whose duty it is to attend to
these things) can inform Mr. SQuaD1tu " what
TO do about it," He finds Mr.. Gray. Mr..
Gray sends him to Mr.. Green. Mr., Green
forwards him to Mr.. Bloc (who speaks English
very indiferently.) Mr.. Bloc dispatches him
10 Mr.. Brown, (there are thirty-seyen Brorns
on the same hoor,) and Mr.. Brown hands him
over to Mr.. Black up stairs, once more Mr.
Black knows nothing whatever of Mr.. Rusty.
or his papers, and never heard of him or them
but ciyilly refers him back to Mr.. White,
where lie started from
By this time Richard Rusty is disguised,
and, thoroughly beaten out with running over
the stone stairs, he concluded to 90 TO his
lodgings. Next day he commences once more.
and gets lost in the multifarious windings and
turns Of the great Department building Be-
fore he had time to get his bearings again, Of
nee hours have expired, and he returns again
to his boarding house attic, to ruminate upon
the mutability of human affairs generally and
Of ofice-seeking especially, concluding with
the PhilosoE hical sentiment, that Jordan is
hard road to travel"
Desperate, next day, he finds ''ile clerk No
81, ;" with whom he originally deposited his pa
pers, and Indignantly demands his documents
After waiting several hours, and making dill
gent search, with his papers In his hand he is
admitted TO the presence Of the Secretary with
rhom-amid his despair and disappointment
Rusty has ga bone to pick"
enters.
Glad TO see you" respoads the Secretary.
Yes; s'pose so, says Rusty.
"Where from, Mr.. Rusted?''