The Cass County Republican. [volume] (Dowagiac, Mich.) 18??-1880, 1861-10-24

He is cunnin, he is long heded, he 10
deep-he is CRATE. Bat unless he ID
good he'll cum down with crash one
of these days and the Bonyparts will
be Bustd up agin. Bet yer life 70
"Air you preacher, sir ?" he inquir.
ed, slitely sarkasticul.
''No, sir. But bleeve in morality.
| likewise bleeve in Meetin Houses.
Show me place where there isn't any
Meetin Howses and where preachers is
never seen, and I'll show you place
where old hats air stuffed into broken
winders, where the children are dirty
and ragged, where gates hav no hinges,
where the wimin air slipshod, d whore
maps Of the DEVILS "wild land" air
painted upon mems shirt-b osums with
tobacco jooce! That's what I'll show
you. Let us consider what the preach
ers do for us before we aboose en-"
He sed he didn't mean to aboose the
clergy. Not at all, and he was happy
to see that was interested in the Bo-
nypart family.
"It's CRATE family" sed l. "But
they scooped the old man in"
allow, sir ?"
"Napoleon the Grand. The British
ers scooped him at Waterloo. He
wanted to do too much, and he did it
They scooped him in at w aterloo, and
he subsekently died at st. Helsny!
There's where the gratest military man
this world ever lprojuced pegged out.
1t was rather hard to consine such
man as him to st. Heleny, to spend his
larst days in catchin mackeril, and wal
kin up and down the dreary beach in .
military cloak drawn titely around him,
(see picter books,) but so it was. He'd
of the armyp Them was his larAt
words. So he had bin. He was CRATE
Don't wish we had a pair of his old
boots to command some of our Bri-
gades!"
This pleased Jerome and he took me
warmly by the hand.
"Alixander the Crate was puHkins,"
continnered, "but Napoleon was pun-
kinser! Alic wept becaws there was
no more worlds to scoop, and then took
to drinkin. He drowndid his sorrers
in the fowin bole, and the fowin bole
was too much for him.
1t ginrally is. He undertook to Civ
snake exhibition in his boots, but it
killed him. That was a bad Joke for
Alic 20
"Since you are so solicitous about
France, and the Emperor, may / ask
you how your own country is getting
along?" sed Jerome, in q pleasant
voice.
"It's Mixed" / sed. "But 1 think
we shall cum out all right"
columbus, when he diskivered this
magnificent continent, could have had
no idee of the grandure it would one
day assoom," sed the Prints.
cit cost Columbus twenty-thousand
dollars to fit out his explorin expedi-
tion," sed l. s'If he had bin q sensible
man he'd hav put the money in hosa
railroad or gas company, and left this
magnificent continent to the intelligent
savages, who when they got hold Of a.
good thing knew enuff to keep it, and
who wouldn't hav seeded or rebelled,
nor knockt Liberty in the he'd with
slung shot. Columbus wasn't much of
a feller, after all. 1t would hay bin
money in my pocket if he'd staid to
home. Chris ment well, but he put
his foot in it when he sailed for Ameri-
ca"
i We talked sum more about matters
and things; and at larst l riz to 60, no.
BILE sir, and good luck to you. Like.
wise the same to Clotildy. Also to the
gorgeous persons which compose your
SCOT. If the Emperor's boy don't like
livin at the Tooleriss, when he gifts
older, and would like to imbark in the
show bizniss, let him como with me and
| will make man of him. You End
US somewhat mixed, as l before OBJ
sarved, but cum agin next year, and
you'll find us clearer nor ever. The
American Eagle has lived to sumptu-
ously of late-his stummic became foul
and he is now taking slight emetic.
f That's ALL We're gettin ready to strike
big blow and sure one. When we
do strike the fur will fly and secession
will be in the hands of the undertaken,
sheeted for so deep grave that nothin
short of Gabrie's trombone will ever
awaken it, Mind what say. You've
heard the Snowman %
Then advisin him to keep away from
the Peter Funk auctions of the East,
and the proprietors of corner lots in
the West, bid him farewell, and went
away.
There was levee at Senator What's
/. his names, and thought I'd jins in the
festivities for SPELL Who should |
see but she that was Sarah Watkins,
now the wife of our Congresser, trippin
l in the dance, dressed up to kill in her
store close. Sarah's father used to
: keep little grossery store in our town
and she used to clerk it for him in busy
times. | was rushin up to shake hands
: with her when she turned on her heel,
D and tossin her he'd in a oontemptuions
manner, walked away from me very
/ rapid. "Hallo, Sal,"I hollersd, "cant
s you measure me quart of them best
melasses? i? l may want Goldfish, also!"
! guess this reminded her OF the little
: red store, and "the days of her happy
9 childhood"
al Rut T fell in with a nice little gal af-