The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1861-04-20
Artemus Ward Takes a Trip Oh the Polly
Ann.

On overhaulin' one of my old trunk:
the tother day, found the follerin' ierna
OF voyage on the staunch canawl bott
Polly Ann, which happened to the sub
scriber when ] was a young man Tin the
Brite Lexington of youth when thar aint
no sich word as fale) on the Wabash Ca
nawl
(Monday . p. m.) Got under wa. Hos
ses not remarkable friskey at flst Had
! to bid fires under EN- afore they'd start
Started at last very suddint, causin the
bote TO lurch very vilently and knockin
me orf from my pins-(Saler frase-)Sev.
raj passengers Oh bored Parst threu de.
liteful country. Honist farmers was to
work sowin korn d other produce in the
the fields Surblime scenery Large red
heded gal recliuin on the banks of the
Canawl bathin her feet
Turned in at - minutes parst eleving.
Toosdy-Riz at 5 an went up on deck,
took a grone persons dose of Ticker with a
member of the Injianay legislature, which
he urbanely insisted on allowin me tn pay
for. Bote tearin threu the briney waters
1 at the rate of ] Nots a hour, when the boy
on the leadin hoss shoutd
Sale hoei'
"Whar away?" hollered the capting,
clearing his glass "a empty black bottle,
with the botum knoct QUIT and bringing
it to his Eagle eye.
Bout for rods to the starbud. scream
ed the boy.
"Jes So" screeched the captin. what
vessels that air p
'''rhe Kickin Warier Of Terry Hewt, and
be darned tn yeou.'
Il, Sur? hollored our captinr. Reef
a4r l.,
and hail your chambermaid! What's up
in Terry Iawt?'
You know Bill Spikes o. scd the cap
ting of the Warier.
Wall, ! rcekin. He kan eat more fride
pork nor any man Of his heft on the Wa
bash. Hes an ornament To his sex =
Wall, continued the captiug cf the
Kickin Warier What do you think Of
tkat?' as he rarzt long black botul over
to our c. pt.ng.
The country is indeed in danger" scd
our capting, ris!u' the black bottul to his
lips
The vessels parted. No other incident
that day. Retired TO my chased couch at
five minutes parst ten.
(Wensday.) Kiz arly Wind blowing
y. w. +. Heavy sea on-ship rollin Wild
y in consckunts of pcpper-corns having
Tin fastened to the iy.rered hoss tale
"Hcaye two = roarel the caUt!ug to the
man at the ruddcr, a the Polly give q
fFiteiUl toss. ! was sick, and sorry Id
cum. Heaye two repeated the captiug
as went below " IIeaye two" hearn
him ho!ler agia, and sticI,in my he'd out
OF the cabin winaer, Ikrr.
Tire Lcsscs becuuu tiosile eyentoolly. and
felt better The sun bust or, in all his
sp!ender, d.srogardless Of expense, and
lively natur put in her best licl;- We
parst the beautiful village OF Limy, which
lookt sweet indeed with tx neat white
cottages. Iustitoots OF learnin and other
evidences Of civilization. incloodiu party
of bald heded Gull red men who was pla-
ing 3 card monty on the stoop Of the red
ca 4le tavern All IL was food for ny 10
paetic sole. / went tslovv To breakfast.
bwt y!itals had lost tleircharIns. Take
sum of this said the capt;n, shown Il
boiul lords my plate Its whisl.-y 4
few quarts ai!ers sets me right when my
sJummick si.s out of order. Its excel
lent Tonic. / declined the seductive
hooid
(Thursday) Didn't rest we'll last night
on account Of an uproar made by the cap
ting who stopt his bo;e 10 go ashore and
smash in the windeFs Of grocery He
was brought back in about 4 hour, with
his he'd done up in red hankerchoef, his
eyes bein swe.,ei mp orful. and his nose
very much cut of jint. He WAS brough;
abofed on shutter 10y his crue, and de
posted on the cabin floor. the passcnjers
all risin up in their births. pu~hin the RCD
curtaine aside \ loohjn ont to see what
the matter was.
why du you allow your pashuns tC
run away with yeu in this onsecmly stilo
my m;>guided friend p sed & sollum look
ing man in flannel mite cap. Why dc
YOU sink yourself 70 the beasts Of th,
field 2"
wall, the fact i" said the capting
risin hLself on the shutter, I've he'd ;
little prcioodiced agin that grosery for sun
time. But made it lively for the boys
Deacon Bet yer lifc' He larfed shor
wild iarf and colled for his jug Sippin {
few rints, he smiled gently upon the pas
senjers, sed " Bless you! bless YOU ant
fell into a sweet sleep.
Eyentooally we reached our Journey
end.-ThiS was in the days of Old Lon:
Sing, he4 the iron hoss was foalded Thi
was before steembotcs was going rounC
busting their bilers d sending people high
or nor a kite. Them was happy days
when the pcpel was intelligent X wax liz
gers and liyin Wild becsts wasnt scofftd at
'oh iase Of my boyhood
I'm dreamn' on yc nOw'