Delaware State journal and statesman., 1861-06-04
From Vanity Fair.
ARTEHUS WARD
IN TuG EpITrtrrt,Nf ,,f,nt,t,r,r,Y, d. 80

THE SHOW IS ooNFIscATED.
iou have perhaps wondered Warebouts was
for these many dase gone and past. Perchans
you sposed I'd gone to tho Toomb of the Cappy-
lets, tho don't know what those is. It's pop
Ter noosepaper Erase.
Listen to my tail and be silent that ye may
hear. I've been among the Seseshers a earnin
my daily peck by my legitmit perfeshun, and
hayn't had no time to weeld my faclle quill for
7" the Crate KOmick paper" if you'll allow me to
kote from your troothful advertisement
My success was skaly, and likewise had a
narreT scape of my life. If what I've bin threw
is "SOuthern hospitality" bout which we'y
hearn so much, then feel bound to obsarye that
they made too much Of me. They was altogether
too lavish with their altenshuns.
went among the SesesheIs with no feelns of
annermosity. went in my perfeshernal capa-
city. l was acioOated by one Of the most Lof-
tlest desires viii ich can swell the human Boozum,
viz TO give The people their moneys worth, by
shown them Sagashus Beests, and Wax statoois
which l venter TO say air unsurpast by any other
statoots any where's. l will not call that man
who seq my statoots is humbugs n lier and a
boss thief, but bring him be me and III wther
| him with one of my skorfull frowRs
But TO proceed with my tail. In my travis
threw the Sonny South hesred a heap of talk
about Seseshin and Dustin up the Union, but |
didn't think il mounted to nothin. The politi-
clans in all the villages was swearn that Old
Abe (sometimes called the Prahayrie floWerl
shouldn't never he noggerated. They also
made fools of themselves in vars ways, but as
they was used to that didn't let it worry me
much, and the Stars and Stripes continuered for
to wave over my little tent. Moor over, | was a
Son OF Malty and member of several other Temp
rance Societies, and my wife she was a Dawter
OF Malty, and l sposed these fax would seeoor
me the inhoonz and perfection of all the fust
iarmerlies. Alas | was dispinted. State arter
State seshed and il growed hotter and hotter for
the undersigned. Things comes to climbmacks
IN a small town in Alabamy, where was prem.
toraly ordered to haul down the Stars Stripes
A deppytashun of red faced men cum up to the
door of ny tent ware was standin takin money
(the AFTERNOON exhibishun had commenced, and
my ltalyun organist was .ierkin his sole stirrin
chimes). ave are cum, Sir" said mlingtary
man in oookt hat, "upon o hi and holey mish-
un. The Southern Eagle is screamin threBout
Sir"
"Whats the matter with im," sez l. " don't
his vittles sit on his stummack? -
Eagle, Sir, will cOntinner to scream all over
this Brite and tremenjus land !"
"Wall, let him scream. If your Eagle can
amuse hisself by screamin, let him went j" The
men annoyed me, for was Bissy maxim change.
I'VE are cum, Sir, upon matter of dooty-"
dooiy to visit my show" sed /.
1--WE air cum"
And that's the reason yeu are here !" sez !,
lariin one of my silvery larfs. l thawt if be
wanted to goak I'd Civ him sum Of my sparklin
OPpygrams.
''Sir, you're inserlent. The plain question is
will you haul down the Star.Spangled Banner,
and hist the Southern flag! l"
"Nary histp Those was my reply.
tlOur WAX works and bpaata 10 fhpn
Gated, you air arrested as a Spyl"
Sea l, "My fragrant roses of the Southern
CLINE and Bloomin dNtfodils, what's the price of
whisky in this town, and how many cubic feet of
that seductive ilooid can you individooally
hold ?"
They made no reply to that, but said my wax
hggers was contsticRted. l axed them If that
was generally the stile among thieves in that
country TO which they also made reply, but
seu was arrested as a Spy, and must 20 to
Montgomery in turns They was by this time
jined by large crowd of other Southern patrits,
who commenst hoerin " Hang the bald headed
aberlitionist, and bust up his immoral exhiti-
ton p l war ceased aud tied to a stump, aud the
crowd went for my tent--that waterproof pa.
vilion, wherein instruction and amusement had
been so marshly combined, at 10 cents per head
and tore it all to pieces. Meanwhile dirty
faced boys was throwing stuns and emty bser
bottles at my massiv brow, and takn other i'm
proper hperties with my person. Resistance
was useless, for variety of reasons, as readily
observed.
The Seseshers confsticated my statoots by
smashin them to attums. They then went to
my money box and confstcated all the loose
change therein contained. They then went and
bust in my cages. lettin all the anmiles loose a
small but helthy tiger among the rest This Ii |
ger has eAeentric way Of tearin dogs 70 peaees
and alters sposed from his gineral conduck
that he'd have no hesitashun in tervin human
beins in the same way il he could git at them
Excuse me if was crooil, but aried boyster.
rusty when | saw that tiger spring in among the
people. GO il, my sweet cuss I" / inardly .
exclaimed, " forgiv you for bitin of my left .
thum with all my hart Rip 'em up like bully
tiger whose LRre has bin invaded by Seshers -
can't say for certain that the tiger sersly
injured any of them, but as he was seen few .
days after sum miles distant, with a large and |
well selected assortment of seats of trowsis in |
his mouth, and as he lookt as tho he'd bin hayin
sum vilent exercise, I.rayther guess he did
You will therefore perceive that they didn't con
fisticate him much.
was carried to Montgomry in iruns and placed .
in durans vial. The Jail was ornefy edifiss,
but the table was libraly SUPPLIED with Bakin an
Cabbidge. This was a good variety, for when
didn't banker after Bakin could help myself to
the cabblge.
had nobody to talk to nor nothin to talk
about, hoWsever, and was very lonely specially