The Grand Haven news. [volume] (Grand Haven, Mich.) 1858-18??, 1861-11-13
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.


- Suspicion is the virtue of coward
= For one wise man we find two fools.
= Better have rough hands than dys-
pepsia.
= He who knows much is mistaken
often.
Ilr1 .'ia Ed! ia tis l'r
y The tongue is the worst part of a
bad servant.
: Spring is only winter warmed and
painted green.
: Persons good for apologies are com
monty good for nothing else.
- A woman that has II ore than
dozen children is quite too childish.
= Why is chair like n fashionable
lady's dressl Because it is sat in.
- The most mischicvous liars are
those who keep sliding on the verge of
truth c0
- Why is n boy tired of skating like
a politician! Because he is for getting
of ice, (ofice.)
-" Those dear eyes of thinc," as the
man said when he bought his wife pair
OF five dollar spectacles. ....
=" Cut my straps, and let me 90 TO
glory" as Dow, junior, said when he took
his first favorite kiss.
= A pleasant jest in time of misfor-
tune is courage TO the heart, strength to
the arm, and digestion to the stomach.
= We are never beneath hope while
we are above hell, and never above hope
while we are beneath heaven.
- The difference-Napoeon was am
bilious to rule a nation; Washington was
ambitious that nation should rule itself.
= a lady must think she has some
thing valuable in her head, if we NAV
Judge from the number Of locks she keeps
upon IT,
= The difference between suit of
clothes and suit at law, is this-one
provides you with pockets and the other
empiies them.
-" You seem animated by this fine
autumn scene, my dear Annie" said a
lover. "No," said she, :" | never shall be
Annie-mated till become your wife"
= Let the youth who stands at the
bar with glass of liquor in his hand,
consider which he had better throw away
the liquor or himself.
: 1t is n great blunder IL the pursuit
Of happiness, not to know when we have
got il; that is, not to be content with a
reasonable and possible measure of it.
- A man who covers himself with
costly apparel, and neglects his mind, is
like one who Eliminates the outside ol
his house, and sits within in the dark
: A schoolmaster requesting little
boy who had been whispering to step in.
to the next room, is wittily spoken of as
starting on whaling expedition"
= An Irishman being asked in cour
for his marriage certificate, showed big
scar on his head, about the shape of 1
shovel, which was satisfactory.
= An independent man is said 10 b,
one who can live without whiskey aud to
bacco, and shave himself with brown soal
and cold water without mirror.
= Plny speaks Of certain animals tha
fatten on smoke. How lucky would i
be for sundry eloquent statesmen, if the,
could get men TO do so!
- A Yankee down east has made tn,
grand discovery that window glazeC
with old hats is a sure indication that th'
occupants have seen rum bottle.
= A coquette treats n lover like DO
quet-carries him about certain time
for amusement or show, and then pick
him quietly to pieces.
- A boy three years OF age was ASKED
who made him. With his little han'
leveed foot above the floor, he arIessl,
replied, "God made me little baby, 81
high, and l grew the rest"
= We look over the wide world, AM
all seems stormy and dark and tempestu
Gus, but then we see the home circles
like sweet patches of blue sky seen anon!
the clouds, and little children shining lik
stars in their midst.
- AT best, life is not very long.
few more smiles, few more tears, som
pleasure, much pain, sunshine and song
clouds and darkness, hasty greetings, at
rubt farewels-then our little play wi
close, and injured aud injurer will pas
away. Is il worth while to hate eac
other?
- A genuine Jonathan, sojoornng o
the banks of Lough Ncagh, says, in proc
T of the petrifyiug property of its water
that an old fisherman in that neighbol