The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1861-04-17
Tail-holt better than no holt"

Tail-holt better than no holt. "
The following laughable affair is from
book entitled Fishers RIoer Scenes and
Characters. The incident is located in
North Carolina. 1t is the story Of a man
named Oliver Stanley" who was taken
captive by wild "Injins." After some
consideration, they put him into an empty
oil barrel, and headed him up leaving the
bungholc open, that he might be longer
dying. The prisoner relates portion Of
his experience in this wise:
L determined to get out'n that OF bust
trace; and so pounded away with my
fist, till beat it into nearly a jelly, at
the end of the bar1, but it were no go.
Then I butted spell with my noggin,
but I had no purchase like old rams have
when they butt; fur, you know, they
back ever so far when they make q tilt.
So I cavcd in made my last will and tes-
lament and virtually gave up the ghost.
1t wur mighty serious time with me for
sure While l was lying thar, balancing
accounts with tother world, and afore [
had all my fggcrs made out to see how
things I'D stand, L hcaln suthin' scrambu-
latin in the leaves, and snortin' every
whipstich like he smelt suthin' he didn't
adzactly, like. 1 lay as still as salaman-
der, and thought may be there's q chance
for Stanley yit. So the critter, whatever
it mout be, KEEP moseyin' round the bar'l.
Last he came to the bunghole, put his
nose in, smclt mighty pcrticlcr, and gin a
monstrous loud snort. | holt what little
breath l had to keep the crittcr from
ssmellin' the intarnals Of the bar'l. [ soon
seen it was a bar Of the woods-the big
king bar of the woods, who had lived
there from time immcmorial. Thinks I,
old fellow, look out; old Oliver amt dead
yet Jist then he put his black paw in
jist as fur as he could, and scrabhled
about to make somo 'scovcry. The first
tho't I had better nab his paw, as a
drowndin' man will ketch at Il straw but
L soon seen that wouldn't do, for you see
he couldn't then travel. SO | .iist waited
spell with great fattcration Of mind.
The next move he made was to put his
tail in at the bunghole Of the bar'l to
test innards. l seen that were my time TO
make my Jack; so seized my holt, and
aAouted at the top of my voice:
"charge Chester chnfgc.
On, Stanley, on..''
and the bar he put, and l llnowcd It'll
hols were better than no holt; and we
went, bar'l and all, the bar at full speed.
Now, my hope was that the bar would
jump orer some prcssepisS' break the bar'l
all to shiverations, and lberate me from
my nasty, stinlir', lily prison. And sure
huff, the bar at full speed lcaped over Il
catarack fifty foot high. Down we went
togther in apple, cowhallop, on big rock,
Dustin the barl and nearly shallin my
gizzard out'n me. let go my tail holt
had no more use for it-and away went
the bar like q whirlygust Of woodpcckers
were after it. I've never seen nor hearn
from that bar since, but he has my best
wishes foy foyrss:55.@d - .apd future y''''r'
Etiquet among the Chinese requires
that in conversation each should compli-
ment the other, and every body belonging
to him, in the most laudatory style, and
dcprecate himself, with all pertaining to
him, TO the lowest possible point.
The following is no exaggcration,
thongh not ,hc precise words:
"What is your honorable namc%
my insignGcantappellation is Wong"
#Whcrc is your magnificent palace ?"
aMy contemplate hut is at Suchan." :"
CLAW many are your illustrious chill
drcn?
MY vile w'rthlcss brats arc five"
"IIow is thehcalth of your distinguish
ed spousc%
Ny mean, god for nothing old wo-
man is we'll
FIsu-A PRisENr.Wc must express
onr high appreciation Of a handsome
Z string of iish, selt to us by our friend,
c Freeman Hoyt. They were fresh from
A his private pond some of them still
f sliicllini, and exhibited plainly the eff
5. fects ofyood feeding. They were fat and
plump.
IS Mr.. oyt's pond is now thoroughly