The Oxford intelligencer., 1861-03-06

business.
THE only green-horn to be tolerated is a
mint,jalep.
The man who lives for himself alone lives
for mean fellow.
VANITY has no connection with valor:-
Remember that.
JuLEps may be called the juice of JOY and
the yeast of jest.
The best certificate Of mans character
is ale keeps his promises"
To show yourself true Christian-hang
out your shingle and pay the printer.
In the game of life men most frequently
play the knave, and women the deuce.
IT is with life as with coffee: he that
would drink it pure, must drain it to the
dregs.
FIoHr fairly when you do fight; but the
better way is not to fight at all. Fiddle for
no fools.
A correspondent of ours wishes to know
if joke is good for anything after it is
"cracked."
THE fellow who is counting Miss Demean-
or, thinks very seriously of breaking off the
engagement.
Why had man better lose his arm than
his legl Because, losing his Leg he loses
something "to boot"
A wise lady has said, "If woman would
have the world respect her husband, she
must set the example"
From the way cold Abe" talks of steering
the "ship of State" one would think he still
imagincs himself in the fat-boat business.
WE suppose that the man who in the hour
of danger turns pale and makes his escape,
NAV be said to "come off with flying color" "
VANIrY-What no man, or woman either,
by any accident, ever possesses, but what is
always very largely developed in everybody
else.
THERE are two languages that are univer-
sal-the one love and the other money
The girls understand one, and the men the
other
IT seems no more than right that men
should seize Time by the forelock, for the
rude old fellow, sooner or later, pulls all their
hair ont.
A verbal allusion to his Satanic Majesty is
almost invariably followed by the personal
apparition of his sable Highness, in some
shape or form.
A retired schoolmaster excuses his passion
h for angling by saying that, from constant
habit, he never feels quite himself unless he
!. is handling the rod.
C AN Alabama editor thus logically nudges
It his delinquent subscribers: awe don't want
d money desperately bad, but our creditors do,
n and no doubt they owe you. If You pay us,
r. we'll pay them, and they'll pay YOU"
S WOMEN are said to have stronger attach
l. ments than men. Strength of attachment
Z is evinced in little things. A man is often
c attached to an old hat; but did you ever
c know of a woman attached to an old bonnet
l. TIE man that was stuck up with pride
} has been taken down, and hangs on his own
u hook at present. In case the hook should
IT give way, let him lie upon his own liabilities,
d until he is prepared to sleep on clear con-
: science.
u Ell &c Io,ors who an,ron 70 vo.-c
, their hands towards each other at a certain
hour across the Atlantic Ocean. One might
suppose there would be waves enough be-
= tween them, without trying to make any
with their hands.
i allow many tunes can you play" asked
= Timmis of street fiddler. "Any you like
to call for" "Can you play Beautiful Star 2
= yes" "Old Dog Trayp YES" "Poly
y put the Kettle ONT" "Yes." "Dixie ~
"Yes." "Then play them altogether, for I'm
4 in hurry"
d SOME doctor advertises to this effect =
" "Consumptives, cough while you can, for af
l. ter You have taken one bottle you can't.
We rather think we won't take any of that
doctors stuff until we find out what he means
by the above rather equivocal extract from
-. his advertisement.
/, The celebrated Mr. Rarey offers prize o
y: 500 to the party who can produce "thC
N most vicious and ungovernable animal fol
lie him to prove his powers of subjugation upon
i A henpecked wretch assures us that it is use
IN less for any one to compete, as he is deter
Al mined to send his wife.
rs TRYING ITS CoLoR.-We had stopped at
D. store in Missouri to purchase some little ar
r ticle, when my attention was directed to al
g. old lady who was examining piece of cal
II leo. She pulled it this way and that, as
G. she would tear it to pieces, held it up to tn
e. light in different positions, spit on a corne
n and rubbed it between her fingers to try
e, the colors were good. She then stood sti
81 awhile, seemingly not entirely satisfied. A
1t last she cut off piece with the clerks scis
X, sors and handing II IN a fall orawEv-looEin