The Jeffersonian Democrat. [volume] (Chardon, Ohio) 1854-1865, 1861-10-25
From the Atlantic Monthly for October
An Admirable Fable by DR. Holmes Z.
The Front Teeth and Grinders.

Once on a time a mutioy arose among
tho teotb Of a worthy man, in good health
and blessed with a sound constitution, COM
monty known as Uncle Samuel. The cut
ting teeth, or incisOrs, and tho eye teeth, or
conines, though not nearly 30 many, all
counted, nor so large nor so strong as the
grinders. aud by no means so white, but, on
the contrary, very much discoloied began
TO find fault With the grinders as not good
enough company for them. Tho eye teeth,
tearing, and standing out taller than the
rest, claimed to lead them. Presently, one
OF them complained that it acbed very badly,
and thon another and another. Very soon
the cutting teeth, which pretended they
were supplied by the same norVe. and we're
proud of it, began to ache nlso. They oil
agreed that 1t was tho fault of the grinders.
About this time Uncle Samuel, having
used his tooth brush, which was never good
one, having no stiffness in the bristles) for
four years, took now one recommended to
him by groat number Of PEOPLE 90 q homoly
but useful article. Thercupon all the front
teeth, one after another, declared that Un.
Gle Samuel meant to scour them Uhito,
| which was thing they would never submit
to, though the whole civilized world was
calling on them TO DO so. So thoy all in.
sisted on getting out of tho sockets in which
they have grown and stood 80 many years.
But tho wisdom teeth spoke up for the
others and said:
"Nay, there DO but twelve of you front
teeth, and there be twenty Of US grinders
We are the strongest. and good deal near.
est tho muscles and the joint, but we can.
not spare you. We have put up with your
black stains, yonr jumping aches and your
snappish looks, and now vo are not gong
to let you 60, under the pretense that you
are to be scrubbed white if you stay. You
don't work halt 60 hard as we do, but you
can bite the food we'll enough, which We
can grind 80 much better than you. We
bolong to each other. You mus. stay"
Thereupen the front teoth, first he ca.
mines or dog teeth, next the incisors OF
cutting teeth, proceeded to declare them
solves out Of their sockets. and no longer
belonging TO the jaws of Uncle Samuel.
Then UCcle Samuel arose 10 bis wrath
and shut bis jaws tightly together, and
swore that he would keep them shut gill
those acting and discolored teeth Of bis
vent to pieces 10 their sockets, If need were,
rather than bavo them drawn, standing as
some Of them did, at the very opening OF
bis throat and stomach.
And now, IL you will please to observe, all
those teeth are beginning to scbe verse
than over, and to decay very fast, go that it
will take great deel of gold to stop the
holes that are forming in them. But the
great ~hiso gitD6ers arc as sound rs ever
and will remain 90 until Uncle Samuel
thinks tho time has come for opening bis
mouth. In the meantime they keep or
grinding in o quio, way. though the other;
have had to stop biting for long time
Whom Uncle Samuel opens his mouth the,
will be as ready for work as ever. but those
poor, dscolored teeth will be tender for 9
great whiIe, and never be so strong as they
were before they foolishiy declared tbom.
selves out of their sockets.