The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1861-07-18
wEAT NOT Z?

1t is almost as difficult to recover lost rem
utation as a lost umbrella.
'Matchless Misery has been defined 20 he
having cigar and nothing to lightit with
A company with capital of $4,000, has
been established at Salem for the manufacture
OF tyPe-setting machines.
To lover there are but two places in all
the world-one where his sweetheart is, and
the other where she isn't.
A vine bears three grapes, the first of pleas
ure, the second of intoxication, the third of re-
pentance.
It is not known at what season of the year
our hrst parents were placed in Eden but
they went out in the Fail
Harsh words are like hail stones in summer,
which, if melted, would fertilize the tender
plants they batter down.
Look here, Printer, you have not punctua-
ted my poem at all Well, sir, am not a
pointer I'm setter
An avaricious man is ike sandy desert that
sucks in all the rain, but yields no fruitful
herbs TO the inhabitants
The editor OF a Charleston yaper COMPLAINS
that his water-pipe has been cut Pity it isn't
his wind-pipe.
The most beautiful results are produced by
the conjunction OF opposites; it is the sunshine
and the cloud that make the rainbow.
A lazy fellow begged aims, saying be could
not find bread for his family Nor |. , replied
an industrious mechanic, 4 am obliged to
work for it,
The RED WHITE, AND BLUE.-The red
cheeks the white teeth, and blue eyes of a
lovely girl are as good a flag as young soldier,
IN the battle of life, need fight under
AN Irish laborer was accosted in the street
recently and asked if he was willing to enlist
Yes, said he, latter I see some of you gintle-
mems sons enter the sarvice."
Singular Phenomenon-Such a violent storm
ragged around Rice Lake, Upper Canada, dur
ing the last week. that one Of the most beauti-
ful islands, called Riordan's Islands has dlsap.
peared
The horse warranted to stand without tying,
which man bought at auction the other day,
is offered for sale by the purchaser with the
additional guaranty that 'he win not move
without whipping.
Mems lives should be like the day, more
beautiful in the evening; or like the summer,
agiow with promise and the autumn, rich with
EaSA0N@A
deeds have ripened on the field.
ldleness is the mother of mischief; the moment
morse has done eating his oats, he turns to and
gnaws down his manger. Substitute labor for
OATS and virtue for manger, and what Is true of
horses is equally tue Of men.
Nature never fills our hearts with more of her
beauty than when we are recovering from sick
ness. Like mother, ass she is, she then leans
1gg Yea
smiles, and kisses US into beautiful dreams.
An elderly gentleman being asked to describe
the present rising generation replied; :" don't
know what can say CT them, excep ting that the
old proverb might we'll be applied to them
Fast come, fast go.
! Gen. Pillow is said to be fond of running
| parallels between himself ard Gen. Scott. There
is about as much resemblance between them as
between thunder peal and orion peal
l-Loa'SUite Journal
Col Davis has immortallzed himself-by a
bon mot His regiment passing through Balti-
more without a band, some Secessionist taunt
lngly asked Where is your music q In ON
cartridge 0oreS,' naivey reFl lied the gallant com
mander.
4 good story is told Of hard she'll Baptis
missionary in Medina, Minnesota, who had be-
come mixed up in land speculations On enter
ing the pulpit, recently, he announced to hi
congregation at the opening of divine service
that the text would be found in st. Pauls
epistle TO the Minnesotians, section 4, range 8,
west.
Professionalism is spreading! very rapidly
throughout Sardinia.
Rum Of she Great Eastern.
QUEBEC, June Sit was exactly eight DAYS
from the time the Liverpool pilot left the Grea
Eastern till the Canada pilot boarded her dur
ing which time she had only twenty hours
clear weather. She made Cape Race in sil
days from Liverpool. She nearly run into tn,
Arabia IN fog on the ID, and would have done
so, if she had had a bowsprit.