Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1861-02-02

LIKE YoURsELF.-In Scotch parish there
was an ancient of the name of Sanders, whose
wit was reputed to be very sharp. The lsird
who was also wag, met him one day, driving
pig to market. "Weel. Sanders" quoth he
'yere driving your kizzin (cousin) to The
market"
"Na, ua, laird /; he's jist an old ncquaiut,
ance like yoursel."
A cat caught sparrow, and was about TO
devour 1t, but the sparrow sad-"No gen.
! teman eats till be washes his face" The
cat struck with this remark, set The sparrow
down, and began to wash his face with his
paw, bat the sparrow few away. This veXea
puss extremely, aud he said, "As long as
live will eat fret and wash my face after
ward"-which all cats do even to this day.
Tue FLOUR ALLs.-In oldeu times there
used to be famous tavern in England, uni.
vsrsally known throughout the kingdom a.
the Four Alls, on account of the homely dis
play off great political truth on its swinging
siga-board. IL bore the picture OF king, o
priest, soldier, aud o farmer. Out OF the
mouth OF each were the words Says The
king, 81 govern all" The priest, holding ~
his hands, and rolling up the whites of two
| sleepy eyes, says, 81 pray for ALL" The sol
dier, cooking huge gun, says, 81 fight fu
OIL" Lastly, in one corner stands the farmer
the most honest looking of the group pullin
purse reluctantly out of his pocket, und
exclaims, Il pay for oll!"
Samuel Rodgers said-"Those who 60
heaven will be very much surprised ut th
people they find there and very much So
prised at those they do not find there"
81 cannot !" is often a gentleman; viii
an see" is generally a snesk Very fe
who promise to "see" ever mean what thr
promise. 1t is q way the heartless have
evading a duty.
A GENTLFMAS said to bis friend the 9th
day, How do you like the rew minister
He replied, First rate; be never meddl
with politics nor religion"
AN exchange thus pathetically descrb
the fainting OF young LADY,
"Dowu fell the lovely maiden,
Just ike slaughtered lamb
Her hair hung round her pallid cheeks,
Like sea weeds round clam"
AN EGyPTTAS DATNTY.-Mrs. Romer,
her Pilgrimage, speaks OF he way IN "h'
they cook u turkey 10 Egypt: 81 ne'
tasted a better turkey than he gave US,
cy, | learned from him the Egyptian secre,
rendering the flesh par:icniarl . tender. II
an hour before the bird is killed. glass
brandy is poured down its throat, which +
duces iutoxicatioD, and the flesh Of the II
turkey acquires tenderness superior tot
which is produced even by long keeping
MAN. anatomists says. changes entil
every seven years therefore says
inimItsbls Jones. my tailor should not
mind n,e of the bill contracted 10 1882.
amt The man.
An inventive Yankee has produced
apparatus which he says is a cure for snor
He fasteus upon the mouth guita per
tube leading TO the tympanum Of the
Whenever the snoTer snores, be hin
receives the first impression. hnds how
greeable il is, and, sf course, reforms.
"You want nsihing. do you 2" said ?,
an il it's nothing you want, you'll ind
the Jug where the whiskey was"
Psrsou Brownlow, Of the Rockville y
,peaking of the forced loan in South Caro-
iays:
.The Palmetto State is in the eondi,io
bs fellow who said, "lt is no, hing tu
uarried, bA il is h-lto keep house.