Vermont watchman and State journal. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1836-1883, 1861-02-22

matter OF that, didn't eclipse anybody.
Those beastly boots IL each one had been
a leather devil. with special spite against me,
they couldn't have tormented me more effect
ually. Then my skates had to strap them
on tightly over my already blstered toes
Imagine a man with his toes in vice, giving
an extra turn to the handle himself, felt
if some one was trying to draw off my toe
nails with a red-hot corkscrew got on my
skates at last. Laura came up; she waltzed
way down the pond with Jobley-confound
Jobley I'D show Jobey; he skate. indeed
Laura asked me to hurry up and 90 down the
lake with her hurried on my skates smiled
such a smile as smiles when he drinks
a cup Of scaldng tea and the eyes of his lady
love are on him; gazed half minute con-
temptuousiy at Jobley before got up; then
| got up with dignity. Something was the
matter with the skates my legs instantly
spread apart like pair of compasses thought
| ! was split clean through to my chin knew,
however, that no ordinary tumble would split
me through the selyedge of my skull Got
up with CHASTITY g..a tered something
about my skates not being strapped tight
/ tried again to go got about two yards, when
my legs flew out from under me again.
I came down can scarcely say that sat
down, for hardly know whether my head
4 didn't strike before any other part Of my an
atomy. Result hat flew clean across the
/ pond my gloves flew in different directions,
and we're seen no more my dinner was shak-
en- up as violently as if had come from the
moon by the short cut. and struck, sitting
down, on marble quarry; and on the ico
there were two large stars. where certain parts
| Of my frame that first struck the ice had made
/ their impression, These stars were large, and
the widely-radiating rays showed that ! had
come down solid. Grinned ghastly grin
Jobley offered to help me up; dsdained 90
take his hand. Got most up myself; went
down again more stars on the ice, aud more
| CHASTITY grin. Jobley did help me up now,
without asking my permission. Tried again
down again more stars more grin, ghaster
than even. Everybody laughed at me. Was
so full Of mad inside. that felt that | must
soon explode if something wasn't done ! had
more than a thousand pounds Of mad to the
/ square inch, but still grinned. About this
time, | became aware that the Central Park
/ ice is cold. There was lovely rip in my
/ pantaoons, all up my leg. Ice was cold; al
snow. Made one more desperate attempt,
but only succeeded in making more stars
/ The ice-(by this time the muscles of my
face had frozen into the CHASTITY grin the ice
was cold, | found by actual application to
the Doesticks Another rip developed it.
self in that part of my pantaloons that is
usually covered by my coat-tail to say moth
( ing Of the wind which blew chill the ice was
coid Ny acquaintance with the ice was in
innate and touching; and l can positively
aver, that the said ice is cold. Jobley and
Laura did wonderful execution on the ice. and
the ice is cold they were much admired, and
was | they came round occasionally to see
how | got along | had got along, and after
making many more stars of various sizes, and
discovering TO my entire and perfect satislao-
ton, that this winters crop Of ice is cold,
had at last mastered my legs so that | could
keep them under me, or thereabouts. Put
into port for temporary repairs, and by the
aid Of half-a-dJzen pins. | so far repaired dam
ages that | thought myself presentsbe.-
Went to my ady-love. got her hand for an
icy-reel or waltz. Smiled defantly at Jobley,
and we started she smiled, | smiled she
laughed, | laughed, and all was going merry
marriage bell, when there was smash
my legs, with the skates on the ends of them,
scattered about, and at last tangled themselves
in Miss Laura's skates, and we came down in
one promiscuous heap. Nobody was hurt;
she laughed. and quickly got up; l laughed
b
ter, for the ice toas cold it was colder now
than before, and there seemed to be more of
it.
The bare Doesticks made direct acquaint-
ance with the ice and can safely swear that
the ice was really cold She asked me to get
up told her couldn't She got frightened.
and asked me if she shouldn't help me up
This was what didn't want her to do; | lay
nj hn in ~ a IA q
part Of my fashionable pantaloons-and the
ice was so cold She didn't know what was
the matter, but thought my ankle was sprained.
told her no then she asked why didn't
get up | said that | enjoyed lying there
that | liked to recline on the ice. She thought
that | was deceivng her, and that was hurt.
! couldn't get up, and she wouldn't 20 away
and the ice really cold. At last, see
ing she wouldn't go away and let me pin my
self toghether again, | confessed to her that |
should be obliged to her to go for the doctor
that l had frozen my toes broken one leg,
sprained both ankles and thrown my hip out
Of Joint, and that must have help at once.
She went away after doctor and immediate
ly on her departure ] arose, took off my skates,
put the pins in again. to keep the ice out of
my wardrobe, cut number of holes in those
beasts of boots to ease my feet, and departed
over the hills before she got back with tho
doctor. As | left the ground | saw Jobley
talking to her and as they were both in high
glee have no doubt he was explaining to
her why liked to lie there on the ice, and
was so 10th to get up. haven't seen her
since but have given up trying to skate
myself into any womans affections. Woman
is always heartless; and at this time of year
the ice is so cold.
Feelingly
@. X PHILANDER DoEsrIcKs, p. B.