Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1861-10-10
Artemrs Ward among the Spirita
from Vanity Fair.1

My nnburs is mourn harf crazy on the new
hrg)od idcar about Sperre,s Sperretooul Sir.
clcs is held nitely q or 5 long hared fellsrs
has settled here and gone into the sperret bizuis
excoosivy. A attemt was made 10 git Mrs. A.
Ward TO embark into the Sperret bznis but the
attemt failed. | of the long hared fecrs told
her she was n ethereal creetur wood make q
sweet meiium, whnrupon she atact him with
mop handle & drove him out Of the house.
will here observe that Mrs Ward is invaer-
bic womnn-thc partner Of my goyo & the
shairer of my sorrers. In my absunse she
wachis my interests & things with an Eagle
Eye and when | return she wecums me in afec.
,onntc style Trooly it is with US as it was
with Mr.. s MIS- Ignomcr in the Play to whit
soles with but single thawt
soles which beat Es |.
My nnburs injooned me to attend Spcrre.
ooul S'rclc at Squire Smi his. When arrove
found the ea>, room chock full incIooding all
the old maids in the village & the long hared
felers o4.ed. When went in l was snlootid
with here Gums the benited nn,"-"hero
Gums the horcy,headed unheleevcr" there
Guns the skoifcr at trooth," e,settery, etset-
terv.
Ses l, my lrens it's troo line hear, & now
bring on your Sperrets.'
Of the long hared fellcrs ria up and sed he
would state few remarks. He sed he was
crtter Of inecck & was moving on to Cole.
Sum men had bigger interlec than other men
had, aud thay wood gil 10 ,nl Co. the soon
cris, Sum men was bcests & wood never git
into the Cole at ALL He sed the Er:h was ma
terial but man was immaleria and hens man
was different from the Erth. The Erth oontin.
nered the speaker, resolves round on its own
axellree onct in "a honrs' but as man haint gut
no axetree he can't resolve. He scd the ethe-
real esseuncc Of the koordinate hrancbs of su.
pcrhuman natur bccum mettymorfussed as man
progrost in harmonial coexistunce Il c;sntcolal>
Iy uniy humanzed themselves Il turned into
reglar sperrctuGlers This was versiiterusy
applouicd by the cumpnny and as make it
pint to git along as pleasantly as possible,
sung out "bully for yu old boy
The cpmpany then drew round the table and
the Srklc kommenst TO 20 it -Thay axed me
If there was anybody in the Sperret land which
wood like to convers with, sed if Bill Tomp-
kns, who was once my partner in tho show
biznis, was sober, shood like to converse with
him few periods.
ais the Sperret of William Tompkins pres.
was three knox on the table.
Sec I, civilian, how goze it, Old Sweet.
neas?"
"prctty ruff. old hos" hc replied.
That was pleasant way We had of address
ing each other when he was in the flesh.
"Air YOU in the show biznis :" scz /.
He scd he was He sed he and John Buu-
van was ,,avelin with sdc show in connection
with Shakespeer. Jonson & Co.'S Circus. He
sod Old Bun (meanin Mr. Bunyan.) strd up
,he onimils & ground the organ while tended
the door Occaehunally Mr.. Bunyan sung
comic song This Circus was doin middlin
we'll Bill Shakcspeer had made great hit
With Od Bob Ridley, and Ben Johnson was
delitcn the pcp'c will, his trooly grato ak Of
hos>manship without saddu or bridal. Thay
was rehersn Dixcy's Land and expected it
would knock the pcplo,
Sez [, "William, my luvly friend, can you
nav me that l3 dollars you owe me2' He sed
M with one of the most trcmenjs knox ever
exprriunsed.
The Sircle sed he had gone. "Ar you gone,
William" ] axed.
'R ,ythe.," he raplede and knowd it was
no use to pursno the suhcck furder.
then called for my father.
"EIow's things daddy?"
"Middlin, my son, middlin."
"Ain't you prowd Of your orfln boy 7"
"Scorcely."
"Why not, my parcn'."
"Bccawz you hav gone to writn for the noosA
papers, my son. Bimeby you'll lose all your
character for rooth and vcrrasserty. When
hGlpt you into the show blznis I told you to
digncriy that there perfusheu. Litsratoor i.
low
He al o stated that he was doiu middlin well
in the pIanut bznis e. liked it putty well. tho.
the Clint was rather warm When the Sircls
stept thay axed me what thawt of it.
Scz I, "my friends I've been into the show
bznis now goin on 23 years. There, artikil
in the Const,ooshun of the United States which
spz in effeck that everybody may think as he
darn peazes, u them is my sentiments to o
hare. You dow,is beleeve this sperret doctrin
while think it is little mkt. just 80 sooD
as man becums regular out & out Sperres
rapper he eeves orf workn, lets his haro gov
all over his face & commensis spuugin his livin
out of other pepc. He eats all the dickshun-
aries he can Gnd & goze round chock full of
big words, scarein the wimmin folks L. little
children 4 destroyin the piece ef mind Of evry
tamcreo he enters He don't do nobody no
good e. is cuss to society & pirit on h nest
peples corn beef barriIs. Admitin all you say
ubowt the doctrin to be troo l must say the
regular Professional Sperret rappers-them as
makes biznis on it--air abowt tho most orne-
ry set of cnsscs l ever encountered in my life.
So saying put on my surtoot and went home.
Respectfully Youres,
ARTEMUS WARD
Friends who are worth having are not made.