The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1861-02-28
WHAT NOT E?


Nearly one billion tumblers of ale are drank
annually in London.
Look out for paint as the girl said when
the fellow went to kiss her.
Fanny Fern says she Is sick. of seeing tracts
sent where wood and coal should go.
A clear conscience is sometimes sold for mon
ey, but never bought with it,
Hypocri:es are beings of darkness disguised
in garments Of light.
II is quite natural that when woman reigns
she should storm--and she always does.
Misery loves company, and so does mar
riageable young lady.
If a man cheat you once, blame him--ifa sec
ond time, blame yourself
1t makes great difference whether glasses
are used over or under the nose
The man who confines himself to the drink
best for him, is aoelL-Supphed
None but fool is always right, and his right
is the most unreasonable wrong
"Sir, you have broken your promise. "-"Oh
never mind, / can make another just as good.
Most men like spirit of selfsacrfce in their
friends great deal better than in themselves
It is easy to love our fellow men. Do good
to them, and you will be sure TO love them.
The secret of the world is, the tie between
person and event. Person makes event, and
event makes person.
Money in your purse will credit you, wisdom
in your head adore you-but both in your ne
cessity will serve you.
If petticoat government is not more oppres.
sive now than formerly, 1t is certainly double
in extent
Never fear the man who threatens you with
an injury the silent enemy is the most danger
GUS
| So long as men are imprudent in their de
and their business, doctors and lawyers will ride
in carriages.
"How did you like your visit to your sweet
hearth" "Oh, didn't like the footing on
which l was received by her father
Easy tillage and scanty harvests character
ize that kind of fancy farming known as ''rais
ing expectations"
Don't think how long you have had that OLE
coat of yours--thnk rather, how much longe
you can make it last.
Say nothing, do nothing which a mothe
would not approve, and you are on the certain
road TO hsppiness.
There is not paper in Kentucky that favor
Sece sson, The good influences OF Henry Cha
are not without their results.
The prop rietors of bone mill advertise tina
those sending their own bones to be ground
will be attended to with promptncss and des
patch
Morrissy, the prgilist, who has purchase
the Troy Budget, will not need to employ
lighting editor.
An old soaker down east, accounts for pei
petual thirst by tbs fact that she was weane
on salt fish"
The most attentive man to business we evel
knew was he who wrote on his shop door :
Gone to bury my wife; will return i'll half al
hour"
What shall it profit d man if he print a pape
d whole year, and lose his subscriptions; or
what shall a man get i'll exchange for his paper
Though man should generally adapt him
self to his place, there no necessity for his ge,
ting tight because he is IN tight place.
Fanny Fern says she loves SOBER seriou
man. Like all other light bodies then, she
attracted by the force OF gravity.
The citizens Of Cairo must look upon tn
storms up north which Cause their town to b
submerged, as being new rains of terror"
An advertisement lately appeared, headed
Iron beadsteads and bedding" We suppes
the linen must be sheet iron.
Blessed is he who dies in the flower of you'll
- L 1. 1 r
before he was intoxicated.
A young man advertises for a wife who
pretty end doesn't know it. If he wanted on
who is not pretty and doesn't know it, lie woul
find no trouble in getting suited.
Mrs. Partlngtou says that she did not MARI
her second husband because she loved the ma
sex, but just because he was the size of her fir
protector, and would wear his old clothes on
Young lady.-"Oh, I'm so glad you ik
birds; which kind do you admire most ?"
Old Squab.-'I think a goose with plenty
stufing about as nice as any,
CoNsOLING-To loose small fortune by q
unlucky speculation, and have all your friend
wondering how you could have "been such
fool"
| AN AIlSi was OhSe dSAeU WHAT wa
meant by posthumous works.
They are such works, said Paddy "as
man writes after he is dead
Do not trust to a weak argument becau
you think you have got weak adversary
donkey will eat through his rope II you on
bind him with a hay band, ard be all the stro
ger for it
In war steel is better than gold; in life, wi
dom exceeds wealth.-Socrates
1t is better to be poor than ignorant.-Ar
tippus.
A great tslker is seldom wise man Thai,