Wilmington journal. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1844-1895, 1861-08-22
rERnIs OF ADvERTIsING.
Artemas Ward In the soutn.

onct, but hope didn't do it, for I've promised she
whose name sha be less, (cept that her initials
are Betsey that I'll jine the meetin' house at Ba-
dnsvile, jest as soon / get money enough to-
gether ford to be plus in good style like nv
wealthy nabers. But ii am confscated acin shall
contner in my present benited state for some time
fggered conspicyualy in meny thriln scenes on my
tower from Montgomery to my humsted, and on sevul
OCCASIONS thought the great commck paper wouldn't
never be enriched no more with my ubrications After
hidden adoo to Jefferson Davis started for the depo
saw nigger stten on a fence, playin on a banjo
My African brother" said you belong to very
interesting your master going to war exclusive
ly on your account"
Eyes, boss !" and he went playn the banjo, larfn
all over and openn his mouth wide enough to drive in
an old fashioned two wheeled chaise.
The train of in which was to risk nv vaerable
fe was the scalest, rcketist lookn lot of consarns
ever on wheels afore.
"What time does this string of second hand cof6ns
leave" inquired of the conductor. He sed directly
and went and sot down. hadn't moren fairly squat
ted aore dark lookin man with swinster expression
onto bis countenance entered the cars and looking very
sharp at me he asked what was my principles 2"
"Seecesh," answered, I'm Dissoluter. I'm for
JEFF Davis Beauregard, Pickens old Capt. Kidd Bloc
beerd, Monroe Edwards, the Devil, Mrs Cunningham,
and all the rest Of thein.'
"YOu're in favor OF the war 2"
| Certingly by all means I'm in favor of this war
and the next one I've been in favor of the next for
over sixteen years
Blud, ergo, bud !" said T. though them words arn't
original with me. Them words writ by Shakes
speare who are dead. His mantle fell onto the author
of the Seven Sisters" whose going to have spring
overcoat made out'n it.
We got underway at last and proceeded cn our Jour-
ney at about the rate of speed which is generally OBJ
sarved by properly conducted funeral professions A
handsum young gal with red muskeeter bar on the
back part OF her head and sassy little black hat tpt
over Orred sot in the seat with She had little
sesesh flag pinned onto her hat and she was gon to her
troo love, who had jned the Southern army-and she
wer so bold and gay. So she told me- She was
chilly and offered her my blanket.
"Dad livin ?' I axed.
Yes, SER"
"Got any unces?"
| GA heap. Uncle Thomas is ded tho. "
"Peace to Uncle Thomas ashes and success to him.
| will be your Uncle Thomas. Lean on me, my purity
seceshener, and lnger in blissfu repose.
She slept secoorly as in her own house. and didn't
disturb the solum stiffness with ary snore.
AT the tust stashun troop Of soers entered the
and inquired if Old Wax Works was on bord. That
was the direspecy style in which they referred tome.
| Bekase, if Old Wax Works is on bord," sez man
with face like double bresed lobster we intend to
hang him"
my iustrious and patriotic men," sez I, getting
up and taking off shappo. off you aude to A. Ward,
it's my peesin dooty to inform you that he's ded He
saw the error OF bis ways at 19 minutes past yeser
day, and stabbed hisse with sedstaEe dyn in boot.
iful tabloos of slow music His last wurds war
My professional career is over, jerked more p
"And who be you ?"
Use stoodent in Senator Benjamin. law office I'm
going up North to steal spoons and things for the
Southern Army"
This was satisfactory, and the intoxicated troopers
went orr
At the next stashun the pootty secesher awoke and
sed she must git out thar. bid her kind adoo and
gave her sum provisions.
Accept my blessin and this hunk of ginger bred"
| [ sed.
She thanked me meekly and tript gay awav. There's
considerable human natur a man and Pm afraid T
shall alters give aid and comfort to the enemy if he
comes IN the shape of nice young gal.
At the next sashun didn't get orf so easy. / was
dragged out'n the and rolled in the mud several
mins for the purpuse of takn the conseet outn me- as
a Seceshener kindly stated.
| was let up finally when powerful large Secesh-
ner came up afecshunatey embraced me- and to show
be had no hard feens aeiu me put nv nose in his
mouth L returned the compliment by sudden
ly placing my stummick agin his right foot when
he kindly made spitton of my able bodied face. Ac-
tooated by desire to whether the Secesher had
been vaccinaed fastened my teeth onto hcoat sieve
and tore it to the shoulder We then vaiently butted
our heads together for few mints danced round lit
tie and sot down in mud pubbe. We riz to our feet
agIn and by sudden and adroit movement | placed
my left eye again the Secesur's fist We then rushed
into each others arms and fell under too boss wagn
was very much exhausted and didn't care about gittn
up agin-but the sed he reckoned I'd better and
concluded | would. He pulled me up and had mt been
on my feet morent too seconds aGore the ground flew
old SPORT but couldn't exactly where the latter cum
ih. We riz and we embraced agin. We careered mady
to steep bank when got the upper hand of my an
tagonst, and threw him into the raven. He fell about
40 eet striking grndstOne pretty hard understand
he was injued. haven't heard from the grindstone.
A man IN cOcket hat and sed he felt as though
an apology doc There was a mistake-the
crowd had taken me for another man told him not
to mention taxed him if his wife and little one was
SOS to be about and got on board the train which had
stopped at the station ten mnits for refresbments"
got ali | wanted. 1t the heartiest meal ever
was rid On rail the next day, bunch of bazin fire
crackers being tied to my coat tails 1t was q fine
spectacle in dramatic point OF View-but dd't en-
Joy it. had other adventers Of startln character
but why continner? Why asserae the public boozum
with these here things? Sufyst to say, got across
! Mason & Dixons Line safe at last.
1 made tracks to my humstead--but she with whom
am harvest for life failed to recognize in the emashiated
being who stood before her. the gushen youth of only
49 summers who bad only left her few months afore
But went into pantry, and brought out certain
black bottle. Raisin it to my lips, l sed, Here's to
you old gaI?' did it natural that she knowd me
at onct "Those form Them voice! That natrel stle
of don things "'Tis he p she CRIED and rushed into
my 1t was too much for her, and she fell into
e swoon l cum very swoonin myself.
70 more at present from yours for the preparation
of the Unon and the bringn of the Goddess of Liberty
out Of its present bad fix. ARTEMUs WARD
Hon. T. B. Nelson of Tennessee whole arrest ard ar
here have been noticed has been released by our
federae Government Mr. Nelson declared his purpose
acquesce the attitude and the political relations which
has chosen for herself the duties
tnerenpon ne acknowledges allegiance both to Tennessee
and to the Confederate Government His high character
gives abundant that his and
ratons Will be hon0raby complied with Our government,
therefore, could have no detention and
pleased that the Administration has ordered his discharge
e patriotism of Mr. Nelson viii happy effect in pro.
noting the quiet OF the people OF East Mf Mel