Spirit of the age. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1849-1865, 1861-08-14

j
/ living with her widowed mother, in retire
Inenl, from the cares and sorrows Of life.
with which they had been solong battling. For
my own pait, was in moderate circumstan-
ees, my father having spent the greater part
/ OF his property in the education of his chill
| dren.
/ was very anxious indeed 10 see my affi-
anced, but could not visit her, as she was
expected home daily.
1t became necessary that should mske q
visit to the South, Tor the purpose of procu-
ring situation. Julia had not returned
when left, and It was with regret that left
MY business was soon over in the South,
and Jcyfuiiy returned, with the hope of see
Ing my beloved. and making Preparations for
| permanent situation in my southern home
To make loug story short, | returned
| home, beheld my loved one, received from
her repeated protestations of her unchangfnp
affection, promised TO return in the soring
and make her my Own, babe all hearty
Farewell, and returned TO my new home-to
to my new theatre of existence. But I
must hurry through the recital which caus-
eS 10 spring mp IN NY bosom those agonizing
renectlons which rend my inInost soul Nv
practice increased 20 sucn an extent that at
the end Of SIX months rested neither dav
nor night, but at this time there same a
change over my affairs
My uncle, of whom had not heard for
years, and after whom | was named was
dead, and had left me an immense fortune
then thought, after tins addition to nv
small income, | Could afford to realize tnat
Z happiness for whIcn ! had been so long stri-
wing | therefore wrote to my friends, and
informed them OF my good luck, and to Julia,
| requesting her to be III readiness, az should
be WIKI her at the appointed tune.
lime rolled on, anu soon received a let
ter, and from the writing | knew il was .Ju.
Las, bat 1t Was the first had received from
her.
Trem5ifngly | broke the seal, but alas
what WAS there disclosed to my view ?? New
er while lie lasts VIII forget that moment.
1t 1ods nothing more nor less than q refusal
OF nsg hettd, Of my oDtr cs marriage. She
wished to remain friendly, but it was not in
my nature to be trihed WITH. la this state
OF affairs what should do? She had as
signed no reason for hlr conduct l. could
not return 80 her and petition her to think
again, ior II did should be forced to con
uescension of which " ould never be guilty.
For some daysl remained inactive. and ex-
cused myself tony repeated Callers, on the
plea OF lndsposition. But it would never
do to remain thus it was more than my
strength eossid bear, being already worn out
by incessant practice. knew of one re-
source and only one: en- The iaebriatii.g e,g2
re'sSSs5 utstrictioa to both D5fE el'sr
I MIND. Think it not strange that thus
ga We way TO my feelings. | had lost the
i'd il OF my heart, the object on which my
w,nole affections had been placed, my happi-
ne ss was forever blasted | had never used
in +oxcatng drinks as q beverage, yet
knew iull we'll thelY effects. sent that
nj. ght to the bar room AM procured large
su pply. / had some, used for medicinal pur
poses, which drank off directly.
5 For days, yea, weeks, dSew not a sobel
br cath.
g | soon left my home, having disposed o
my vaiuab4es, yet not without entreaties t.
q re main By ali those VINO knew me, for fiat
! tered myself that was beloved by them.
: [ feared that rsy iaIher would hear If tn
d change wrought in me, and could not caus
HIS bosom pain. For two years j trayele
d from town to town, from city to city, @lway
:, m ore or less under the Influence Of intoxic,
J. ting drinks. At the end of that time | sta
e tee on a trip to Europe. BY the time tn
was accomplished, my money was censide
,. ably rednced, and it became necessary that
9 could send to nay banker for fresh suppl
= | feared this, as it would give my frien'
&c some clue to my whereabouts nevertheless
s must be DONE and | must remain stationa
n until this, was accomplished.
to l wrote letter, enjoining entire scores
ID and addressed it IN haste Time hung he
% Willy On my hands; soon doubt pervaded n
y mind feared that my letter had been cit
'o er miscarried or reaching its destination b
been neglected Time passed on, stili
letter CIR money. | wrote again, with 4
), S same result. My burning thirst for dri
Z, must be satisfied, and tny inears We've
st hapsted. Ny landlord informed me that
,r- was in arrears, and thas speedy settleme
must bs entered into. What shHald d
- There was only one resource. W hat s.
ey clothes and valua5es | Possessed wt
em pawned to satisfy the landlord wno had f,
ie niShed me with the cursed poison even
d Diamond ring. the parting gift of a fond a
loaing mother, emblem tica of end Eing
fectiDn, was disposed Of to quene: my bu
ing thirst
/: Thus reduced to beg.ary and want, f
sakens and sluAned by my once gay CO,
panions in liot and deoauchery, | began
wander anout the streets, Sometimes engas
In cleaning off the pavement, seuetr
ysai4ing on she gentlemen, fer whtch-
an ceiyed something, and somesitnes wander
- about from place to place without any
,ho ployment, and always more or less under
'as. influence of the maddening bowl
go, But Why 81 j dwell upon scenes and ch
s.,a ges which fIl my soul with agony to This d
of and apon guilt which a whole lifetime
&C sorrUw and regret viii fail TO blot oat Fl
~ the Lambs Book of LIFE Loud S
- here interrupted the narraser, aud. it
sa many moments before be could nega;n
on! hciena eDmposa,Se to eontanae;. when Ne
ON, 1T was with weak voice and his hsad b
ble ed on his breast as if his very soul as
, &c turedby the recollection of these bg g
events.
y Imust pass by some tsne," he cont
and ueu, % WINCH pave 10 eA>t'.'c' rem
the oIaioet pass oye' tnose o'5S anu "eeAo
10 mcaths spent in dssrad ton, infamy,
ono sharne, IN the lowest dens Of filth, wicl
ra,r ness and murder.
1t was one cold night in early spring,
.est | returned to my DEN tfo. sscb may cal
,;e.l much earlier than usual, infiamed to madE
Iass by having ONE drink. and not being abt
had obtain morS--I say when returned TO
I, den, an uacemmon scene met my gaze.
hat middie-age1 gentlemanly booking indivs
rnad stood leaning against nay deck pest. sairre
9th ded by half dczzen ragged, fainsshsd,
ha- dish locking drunkards, nay comparisons
=. associates As came up they saauAed
-. with :. PI eaeher Bill - Ca Hame by whse
hs hsss was known among them, and gixsA to
! because would moi engage With then
fnll IheiI inei's, @c.,l mere = =, - man eohs
I see if We won't go vi hun. He's slaie L