Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1861-09-05

out OF town" 1 Stammered She will not be
gone long, | suppose, and | can stop until she
returns"
Visions of broken China, split milk and
half baked pies floate1 before me, and tho't
it no sin to tell one of Mrs. Opie's. "She will
probably be gone some time, six weeks, be-
lieve"
never knew my aunt to be gone so long
from home, but | must stop at least one night,
for it is past car time, and | cannot return nn-
til tomorrow" What could do, surely
was born under an unlucky Star-before me
was the niece, the heireSs of W hom had heard
such extravagant praises, and what made me
feel still more uncomfortable, was the provok-
lug smile that appeared whenever she looked
at me. wondered what could be the cause
OF her merriment. Surely it could not be me-
who was called the finest looking young man
In town. Something must be done, so invit.
ed the young lady iu and excused myself, went
to Toms room to see if he had survived his
downfall. The exclamation that greeted me
as L opened the door was in no way fatteriDg
to my pride. My Bob, you havn't been to
the door with that face p " OF course have
and served not only as door tender, but as
committee of arrangements, and introduced the
lady into the parlor, and am now waiting for
you to go down with me and entertain her"
Oh dear, | shall die look in the glass,
Bob > and holding on to his sides he slid from
his chair to the floor, aud rolled over and over
with such velocity, that l really thought he
had gone crazy. | looked in the glass. O!
horrors, what sight presented itself. My
head looked as if it had blOssomed from the
flour barrel on my forehead were two marks,
commonly called beauty spots (but called
them horrid spots) my nose my beautiful nose,
that was the most marked feature of my face;
1t looked as if it had been dipped in ink.
" How do you like the looks; dou't you
think the lady will be charmed Oh dear y
and Tom went into another ft-I made no
answer but made for the door
Z" Where are you going to complete the
fascination ?" " Going to make clean breast
as well as clean face of the whole > and
while Tom was dressing in his best, | explain
ed matters to our lady visitor, and joined with
her in laughing at our miShaps. She Insisted
on being shown to the scene of our late diSas-
ter, aud finding resistance useless, / went with
her to the regions below. Tom soon came
uown, and acting as her servants, we soon put
things in shape and place. DOnning one OF her
auut'S ample aprons, the little figure fitted
from room 20 room, and soon dispatched the
baking. tended the stove Tom gathered
up the fragments, meanwhile speculating upon
the durability of Jobs patience, had he passed
through the trying ordeal of housekeeping, aud
concluded his meditatiCns by saying, that il
he had passed through the trying ordeal he
never would have been handed down as mo-
del OF patience
At the usual hour for tea, we sat down to
a tea table loaded with bread, pies and cake,
the custard pudding was not forgotten as
nicely baked as those ever put before US by
our laudiady. When enjoying the meal and
laughing over the adventures of the day, who
should come in but our landlady wearing upon
her face such an innocent expression, that ], .
being naturally of suspicious nature, began
to think she had not been far distant after all,
but being also wise man, | said not word,
but thought great deal upon the subject
Nv suspicious were confirmed by the knowing
look that passed between aunt and niece. |
could not for long time forgive her for the
lesson she had taught me, but when her niece
put her hand in mine and promised to make
my Dread during lifetime, | freely forgive the
aunt, thought my experience in the line of
cooking was not as ulpr0h able as it might
have been Tom says that it was my nose
that made my fortune, and that perhaps he
might have been the lucky one had tnOt been
for the confounded broomhande' | know
not whether my nose won the lady love, bnt
one thing l do know that shall never meddIe
with that work that is doae,' AID to those
who are wise in their own conceit, | would say,
let them try and see what they can do per-
haps their experience will coincide with my
own.
One of my biscuits l have reserved in case
of war it might answer the same purpose as
a bullet: aud until that time arrives, intend
it shall occupy a conspicuous place n my cab
inent of curiosities