Western Reserve chronicle. [volume] (Warren, Ohio) 1855-1921, 1861-05-08


as it slipped down inside of my shirt, an
passed with it, mother-o'-p pearl GOODNESS o.
er my heart, it for moment threatene
nv matrimonial resolution. | pitied m
own lonely state, and pity, we know, Is q
kin to love But how was the matter
be accomplished Most men of my az
would already have adjusted their inclina
ton to some object; so that having mad
up their mind and counted the cost, littl
more would have remained to be done thai
to decide upon the day, and lay hold upol
the license. This, however, was not tn
case with me- | had been too much occu
pied, too idle, or too indolent to devote tn,
time or make the effort to form an at
tachment" 1t was through no disinclina
tion or difficulty to be pleased; for haC
any young lady of moderately agreeable
powers taken the trouble she might have
married me long ere then. should even
have been grateful to her for taking the
trouble off my hands; but was too BASH
full to adopt the initiative.
l was a bashful man. This weakness
came from the same cause as my Uncle
Toby's-namely, want of acquaintance
with female society, which want arose from
another canse in my case-namely, too
close an application to business.
Accordingly, thought of an advertise
ment; yet with no practical design of do
ing business, but, as | persuaded myself
for Joke. So | scratched with pencil
on the back of letter. the following:
4 WANTED A WIFE-None but principals
need apply. The advertiser does not re-
quire cash, but only companion. He is
six-and-twenty. apl. tired of single life, he
thinks he can settle down to married life.
1 As men 90, he believes he has a moderate
share of temper. and want of time is his
only reason for having recourse to the news
papers. He has enough means for himself
and a second party. and is willing to treat
at once. He is quite aware that great
many attempts to convert his honest in
1 tentions into au extravagant Joke viii be
made, but he warns all rash intruders.
If he finds man hardy enough to make
sport of his affections he will thrash him
if woman. he viii forgive her. He
has heart for the sincere, a horseWhip
for the impertinent. In either case, all
applications will be promptly attended to,
if addressed to P. P, to the Office of this
paper
felt proud of my composition, and
pufed away my principe with vague glee
and anticipation of something coming out
of it. | had no ,cry great idea that any
thing but fun would result; and certain
ly had not the slightest notion of involv-
ing myself in personal collision with any
one Still the Presentiment that it was
not destined to be all barren JOKE. press
ed upon me- On Saturday the advertise
ment appeared, and heard Its style eau
vassed by all my friends, and it was jok-
ingly suggested by more than one that
was the dOmestically destitute individual
who put it forth.
On Monday morning L sent boy to the
newspaper Office for z. P's letters. ex-
pected he might be followed by some curl
Gus and inquisitive persons; 50 1 told him
on his way back to call at bachelor neigh
bors of mine for book. The trick told
The lad was followed by some persons VINO
never lost sight of him until they ran him
to my friends's, and then they went back
and announced that he was the advertiser. |
thus discharged in full one or two prac-
tical jokes which my neighbor had played |
upon me- The answers were of the usual
character-several seeking to elicit my
name, and still more suggesting places of
meeting. where l was to exhibit myself
with flower in my button-hole aud
white handkerchief in my hand. One on
" looked like business 1t was from la |
dy, who proposed an interview in neigh
boring city, about forty miles north. She
said there was something so frank and
straightforward in my advertisement. that
she was convinced it was real, and she
could rely upon my keeping her name Sc
cret, If after We met nothing came of the
meeting. She would, therefore, see me at
the, at. on a certain day, and
if mutual appreciation did not follow the
interview, why there was no harm done.
Most people would have put down this
as trap to give me a journey for nothing.
l did not. A presentiment impelled me
to accept and keep the engagement.
This was in the old coaching days.when
man had time 70 make an acquaintance
in forty miles, not as now. when you are
at your journeys end before you have .
looked round your company in railway
carriage There were but two inside
myself and pleasant, talkatiye, honest
faced elderly gentleman. Shy and timid
in female society. / was yet esteemed ami
mated and agreeable enough amongst nv
eWn sex. We had no trouble, therefore, /
in making ourselves agreeable to one an
other; so much So that as the coach ap-
preached G., and the old gentleman
learned that l meant to stop there that I
night, he asked me to waive ceremony and
have cup Of tea with him after l had
dined at my hotel My fair engagement
was not till next day, and, as liked the |
old gentleman, | accepted his offer
After my pint of sherry, | brushed my
hair and went ia search of my coach com {
panion and my promised cup of tea 4
had no difficulty in finding him out, for he {
was man Of substance and some impor- /
lance in the place. l was shown into the
lrawing-rOOm. Ny old friend received
me heartily, and introduced me to his wife .
md five daughters "All spinsters, SIR
said he; ''young ladies whom an undis- T
eliminating world seems disposed to leave )
upon my hands, - i
"f we don't sell, papa," said the eld- !
st, who with her sisters seemed to reflect )
ler father's fun, 'it is not for the want of /;
cutting, for all your introductions are ad-
Iertisements. -. .----s
At the mention of this last word, l felt
| little discOmposed, and almost regretted
ny engagement for the next dag, when !
hat very night, perhaps, my prOEidential !
had arrived, :