Holmes County farmer. [volume] (Millersburg, Ohio) 1857-1926, 1861-05-09
Docsticks' Progress In the Zou-
ave Practice.

embroidered and braided bag for a vest
with cap like a red woolen saucepan
with yellow boots like the fourth robbei
in stage play; with a moustache like
two half-pound paint brushes, and with
sort OF sword-gun or gunsword for a
weapon that looks like the result Of a love
affair between an enormous broad sword
and lonely nusket indiscreet and ten.
der-that is Zouaye.
a fellow who can put up hundred
and-ten- pound damb- bell; who can climb
up an eighty foot rope hand over hand,
with barrel Of -four hanging to his heels
who can do the giant swing on hori-
zontal bar, with fifty-six tied to each
ankle; who can walk up tour flights of
stairs, holding heavy man in each hand
at arms length; and who can climb a
creased pole feet first, carrying barrel
OF pork in his teeth-that is Zouave.
A fellow who can jump seventeen feet
four inches high without spring board;
who can tie his legs in a double bow
knot round his neck without previously
soitening his shin bones in steam bath;
who can walk Biondin's out door tight
rope with his stomach outside Of nine
brandy cocktails, suit Of chain armor
outside his stomach, and stiff northeast
galh outside of that; who can set forty
I foot ladder on end, balance himself on top
of it, and shoot wild pigeons on the wing
one at a time, just behind the eye, with
a single barreled Minnie rifle, three bur
dred yards distant and never miss shot;
who can take five shooting revolver in
each hand and knock the spots out oi the
ten of diamonds at eighty PAGES, turning
somersaults all the time and firing every
shot in the air--that is Zouave.
am Zouave.
My inusket education progresses
am getting on finely-I can tell the muz-
zle from the stock at first sight, and shall
soon be able to say which end Of the
ramrod to put down and which side up
the cartridge goes.
But | am paying more attention to my
gymnastics just at present than to my
musket, for everybody knows that in
battle arms are not of near so much i'm
pertance as legs-it is very goJd thing
to know the use of your legs-in case of
war.
I've got a practicing room, where l
gymnastic every day. I've taken up the
carpet-a performance which my landla-
dy entirely approves - I've piled the
chairs on top of the table in the corner,
and have sold my bed at auction-Zou-
aves sleep on the foor
Besides it is good thing to know
hn.v 70 claa,, ,ba,t - ofl
war.
Spinkey and his brother came to see
my room after Il had got it arranged for
practice-they did things-they Zouaved
little, by way of setting me an example.
l found out by the actions of the Spin
key brothers the exact dimensions of my
room; it is three flip flaps long, and a
handspring and two back -somersaults
wide.
By means of fip-Aap you disconcert
your enemy's aim and draw his fire, then
you kill him. A Zip flap is a good thing
to do-in case of war.
BY means of a handspring. you reverse
your position, and your bewildered enc
my cuts off your foot instead of your
head. Then you kill him; then you
screw on a wooden leg and do so again
When you've done it twice, you've killed
two enemies and only lost two legs, and,
after that, you can only lose wooden legs
which are comparatively cheap especially
if the war is in we'll tirnbered country
A handspring is asplendid thing to do
in case of war.
By means of somersault you leap over
your enemy then, when he charges on
you; then, by back somersault, you fall
on his head from great height and stun
him; then you kill him
A somersault in an indispensable ma
neuvre--in case Of war.
Our company, Spinkey commanding,
can so through the manual of arms com
plete, and only touch ground three times;
they do ell the leadings in single SOM
ersault springing into the air at the word
up! with their muskets empty and load
ing exactly together at the word of COM
lnand, given by Spinkey with speaking
trumpet, and firing by files as they come
down.
When Spinkey left my room l began
to practice; for I'm very anxious to pro-
gress. Our company has been all draft
cd into Kerrigan's Contingent. and we
must all he ready.
Tried somersault first, as l thought
it looked very easy. All You have to do
is to throw your heels up and your head
down. and then bring your heal up and
your heels down; it's the easiest thing in
the world-apparently. When l came
to try it, thought the floor looked unu-
sually hard, SO put pillow in the spot
where / thought my feet would come
down, as didn't want to hurt my heels.
Then took off my coat, tied my suspen
ders tightly round my waist. took short
run from the corner Of the room, shut my
eyes. and-
When | recovered. which I should
Judge was in about three quarters of an
hour, hal bump OH my forehed as i'll
had been hit there by base ball which |
had stuck. 1t took me fifteen minutes To
get upon my feet, for | felt as If my legs
and arms had been distributed over the
neighboring country by gunpowder ex-
plosion; and it was some time before my
mind was disabused of that impression.
Judge that something interlered to
prevent the artistic execution of my con-
templated so,nersault, for my head evi-
IDENTIFY struck the ground rs soon as my
nose had received a severe confusion; and