davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Van Buren press., 1861-07-24


AN INCoRRIGlBLE BAcCHANAL.-Eel tea
and other cures for drunkenness that human
science has devised have been tried in vain
on Mr.. Simeon Tate, an old gentleman resid-
ing in the northwestern precincts Of our
city. His wife had used some desperate
remedies, such as sleeping large quantities
of jalap. aloes. ippecacuana, &c.. in Slime
on's grog. but he continued to drink with
undiminished relish, and the consequences
Of this dosing system were more trouble
some to Mrs. Tate than to Simeon, her hus-
band. Being dead drunk; every afternoon.
within half an hour after he commenced his
days jollifcation, $50 rapidly did he pour
down the liquor he never felt the slightest
inconvenience OF unpleasant sensation on
account of the medicines he had swallowed.
At last Mrs. Tate bethought herself of an
other plan of making reformed drunkard
of her lord. With the assistance Of her
two brothers, she caused her husband, while
in state of insensibility, to be conveyed to
an apartment provided for the purpose, in
another house, and q man with whom Mr..
Tate was unacquainted, was employed to stay
with him until he recovered the use of his
senses. This attendant had received his in
structions, and was prepared to act q part
WHICH WIS OeSiSneu 10 ITiSnteu WI. lAtc
out of his bad habits.
1t was nearly midnight when Simeon
awoke and found himself lying on a pine
table in dim and strange apartment.-
Raising himself on one elbow. he looked
around until his eyes rested on a man seat
ed by stove and smoking a cigar.
Halo where ara / % said Simeon.
"In the Medical College," answered the
cigar smoker.
What a. doing there 90
Going to be cut up"
"How comes that %
"Why you died yesterday while you
were drunk, and we bought your body to
make 'natomy.''
"It's lie ; I'm not dead"
"No matter. We bought your carcass
from your wife, who had right to sell it
for it, all the good she could ever make Of
you. If you are not dead, it's not the fault
of the doctors, and they'll cut you up. dead
or alive
You will do it, ell p asked the old
set
"Aye, to be sure we will, now. directly"
was the resolute answer.
We'll. can't you let us hare a little some
thing to drink before you begin o.
Mrs. Tate and her brothers were hard by
but out of sight, listening to the dialogue.
Simcon's last speech convinced them that
the case was hopeless, and it is not likely
that any other attempt will be made to re-
form him.-Ex.
The Van Buren press., 1861-07-24

A LITTLE TOO WILLISG.-The following
scoene occurred not thousand miles from
our whereabouts :
Enthusiastic Judge volunteers for the war
and wonders what effect the news vii! have
upon his wife goes home to impart the
direful intelligence to devoted wife expects
any amount of sobs, shrieks, Mysteries. etc.
from devoted wife
Husband-timidly-" Well, Moll! I've
got something to tell you-something that
won't exactly please you. but
Wife," Oh, we'll (! Thomas. out with
it."
Husband-" The fact is, Molly. H.;
but first promise me that you won't cry"
Wife," won't cry. Thomas. unless it
t | Mass.,dy Efss sy s.a; aw;.lil Molly. 1-1-1--.m
going to tho wars with Capt. --'s COM
pany now. don't take on. my cherished
angel y
Wife" Oh, no. Thomas l won't.
am much satisfied and much pleased at your
determination. can take care of myself
while you are gone"
Husbaud-astounded at w;fe's indiffer-
ence--" And you are willing that shall
go and leave you unprotected o.
Wlfe-c0neposed- certainly perfect
ly willing. l can take care of myself
don't be alarmed on my account
Observation-Disclosures he smells a rat" You
say that you are perfectly willing th.t
shall 60 and fight in my country's de-
tense 90
Wife" Yes, Thomas; what can be
more noble than to die in defense Of ones
country %
Husband--to wAom tile idea Of dying never
occurred" And You tell me coolly and
dispassionately that you are willing that l
shall 60"
), Wife" Yes, yes, Thomas, perfectly
willing"
misunderstanding up in a rage" Well
Molly, all that have to say is, that you are
a lille too id ,yiliing."
The Judge joined the Home Guards.
The Van Buren press., 1861-07-24
From the Examiucr NorsIE. y.

From the Examincr, Norfolk. Va
Cephalic Pills accomplish the obisct for which
e'ey ~erc .nAde; ~is: Cure of headache in all r..
FROM Southern PnLafnder, Neso Orleans. In.
sure that your testimony can be added 70 te are AZ
ready numerous list that has received bcnetS ~
no other medicine can produce. ''A'S '"at
The Van Buren press., 1861-07-24

BY the use of these Pills the peril attacks Of
Nernous Sick Headache may be pr5<e <e1ted and
If taken at the commencement Of on inime-
diate relief fIom sickness will be cbh24u.
They seldom fail in removing hS 1ssea aad
Headache to which females suEstef-
They are gentle upon the bowels moving Cas-
fiueness
For Literary Men. Students, Deles,ate Females.
and all persons of sedentary habits, they are yaua
bic a Larafire, improving the aFpefie, giving
tone and pigor to the digestive organa and restor
ing the natural elasticity and strength OF the whole
system.
The CEPHALIC PILLS are the result Of long
investigation and carefully conducted experiments
having been in use manv years, during which time
they have prevented and relieved vast amount OF
pain and suffering from Headache, wsether rigin-
ating in the nervous system or frota deranged
state of the stomach.
They are entirely. vegetable in their composition
and may be taken at all times with perfect safety
without making any change of diet. and the nb-
senee of anu disa9reeabLe taste renders easy to ad
minister them to children.
BEWARE OF COUNTERFEITS.
The genuine have five signatures Of Henry c.
Spalding on each box.
Sold by Druggists and all other Dealers in Medi-
clnes.
A Box will be sent by mail, prepSd, on receipt
of the
PRICE 25 CENTS.
All orders should be addressed to
HENRY C. SPALDfNG,
4s Cedar Street. Nhw York.
The Van Buren press., 1861-07-24

single bottle of SPALDiNG's pRrpAp
e. LD G.oE will save ten times its cost animal.
The Van Buren press., 1861-07-24

re- A woman went into an apothccary's
shop. the other day with two prescriptions
--one for her husband, and the other for
her COW. On inquiring the price. she found
she had not money enough for both then.
rejecting q moment, she said
"Give me, at all events, the ono for the
cow. I can Send for my husbands. to-
morrow"
EE For one who deplores his own fol-
lies. you will find a hundred who bitterly
deplorc those Of their neighbors.
~ An Irish lover remarks that it is a
great pleasure to be alone. especially whom
your sweetheart is wild ye.''
~ Who goes there 20 sail an Irish
sentry Of the British lsg;on at ST. Ssbas-
tian.
A friend. !" was the prompt reply.
'' Then stand WHARF you are. for. BY tho
powers, you're the first I've met with in
this murtherin' COUNTRY
The Van Buren press., 1861-07-24
sPALDING's PREPARED GLuE,

pcovAVE SAVE THE PIECES,
DtSpAfCH!
ES ~ bitch IL TINE SAVES NINE.
AS accidents win happen, even in we'll recul,,sd
families, 1t Is very desirable to have some cbs.n
ana convenient way for repairing Furniture. Tovs
sPALDING'S PREPARED GLUE,
meets all such emergencies, and no b.nx..ho,a -.
anord te s without it. 1t is always rsady. and m,,
useful IN EVERY HOUSE.
.. N. B-A brush accompanies each bottle. pr.s
IS cents. Address irce
HENRY c. SPALDING,
No. 20 Cedar Street, New YORK.
The Van Buren press., 1861-07-24
THE VAN buren, PRESS
is PUBLISHED By
j. 8 DUNHA M.

THE VAN BUREN PRESS.
is PUBLISHED BY
j. 3 HAM M.
on WEDNESDAY, AT
500 Per Annum, in Advance,
s250 in Six Months, or
$500 " at the end of the year.
Single Copies, Five Cents.
r. No deduction from the above rates and
here payment is not made in advance, the above
,iIiticnal charges will be rigidly adhered to.
Nc paper will be sent to any address, withou
,hs money, unless the person subscribing is well
Known to the editor.
Terms Of Advertising:
Advertisements inserted for 81 pe< square, 90
ines or less for the first inserton, and 50 cents
fer each subsequent insertion.
A liberal deduction wiz be made for those who
.avertise by the year and yearly advertisers will
s confined to their legitimate business, and any
advertisement inserted on any other account, will
Be charged for the square.
Circulars will be charged at 81 per square.
Advertisements of personal matters will he
charged s. per square. and those containing gross
,.-.onal abuse, viii not be inserted at any price,
Candidates 70, Federal or Stste Offices will be
,b,rped IS 70, announcing their names.
Professional or Business Cards, containing not
-,o,e tbsa 10 lines. will be charged SO per year.
The Van Buren press., 1861-07-24
CAUTION.

As certain unprincipled persons are atter, r.,, :
70 palm On on the unsuspeeting public. im;tst;on5
OF my Prepared Glue, would caution al H.. ,ss.
sons to eamnie before purchasing and see sh.t n.
= SPALDING'S PREPARED GLuE -
:, e on the os:ide wrapper; all Others are sv;nd
e mar IL 1851 "
The Van Buren press., 1861-07-24

EFFECTIVE RETALlATioN.-A Quaker had
a quarrelsome neighbor, whose cow being
suffered to go at large. often broke into the
Quaker well-cultivated garden. One NOR
ming having driven the COW from his prem
ises to her owners house. he said to him :
"Friend T.. l have driven thy cow home
once more, and if find her in my garden
again
" Suppose you do" his neighbor exclai-
med, +" what will you do %
"Why," said the Quaker. "I'll drive
her home to thee, again, friend IT,
The cow never again troubled the Qua
ker.
The Van Buren press., 1861-07-24

DESERVES PREMIUM-An incident too
good to be lost. lately occurred at a school
not a thousand miles from Charleston. One
of the little Misses, belonging to the Geog-
raphy Glass, was asked "what bounds the
Uuitel States on the South ? Disdaining
the answer laid down in the book, the little
girl, true to her patriotic impulses, replied,
with infinits navietc, "The Confederate
States of Anaerica." We need not add that
the answer was satisfactory. That little
girl. we think, deserves premium
Charleston Mercury.
The Van Buren press., 1861-07-24
THE FOLLOWING ENDORSEMENTS
SPALDING'S
Cephalic Pills,
WILL CONVINCE ALL WHO SUFFER FROM
FL j. a ID a q FL T.
THAT
SPEEDY AND SURE CURE


All Of these Testimonials ,nere unsofieited by Mr.
SrALpING, they afford unquestiona5!e proof of
the efficacy Of this truly scientific discovery.
Masonvillc Conn, Feb. S, 1861
Mr.. SPALDING,
SIR:
have tried your Cephalic Pills, and I like them
so ueH that l want you to send me, two dollars
worth more.
Par; of these are for the neghbors. to whom
gave few out of the first box got rom YOU.
Send the Pills by mail and obli~s
Your obt servant
JANIS KENNEDY.
Haverford. ra., Feb. 6, 1861.
Mr.. SPALDING.
Sir:
l wish YOU to send me one more box Of your Ce-
pEaiic Pills. have received great deal of benefit
from them.
Yours. Respectfully,
MARY ANN sToIKHoUSE.
Spruce Greek. Huntington Co., Pai
jan Is, 1861.
H. C. SPaLpIxc.
Sir:
You will please send me two boxes of your Ce-
phalic Pills. Send them immediately
Respectfully yours,
p. 81 hare used boz Of your pills and find
them ercelient.
belle ' ernon, ONO, Jan. 10, 1861.
Henry G. SPALpING, Esq,
Please find enclosed twenty five cents for which
send me another box of your Cephalic Pills They
are truly the best pills have ever tried.
Direct "a. STOVER, NJ.
Beverly, Mass, Dec. ii, 1861
II. c. SrALDrSo
wish for some circulars or large show bills, to
bring your Cephale Pills more particularly before
my customers. If you have any thing of the kind
please send to me.
One of my customers, who is subject to severe
sick headache, usually lasting two days) cur
ed in one hour by your pills, which sent her
Respectfully yours.
". B. WILKES.
Reynoldsburg. Franklin Co, Ohiol
Jan. 8, 1861.
HENRY G. SrALDISG.
No. AZ Cedar ST.. N. Y.
DEAR SIR
Inclosed find twenty five cents, for which send
box of &c Cephalic Pills" Send to address of Rev.
VIM. c. Filler, Reynoldsburg, Franklin Co.. Ohio.
Your pills work like a charm-cure headache
almost instanter.
Truly yours, VIM c. FULLER.
Ypsilanti, Mich, Jan. ID, 1861.
Mr.. SPALDING.
SR:
Not long since I sent to You for box of Cepha-
lie pills for the cure Of the nervous headache and
costiveness, and received the same, and thew had
so good an effect that was induced TO- se1d for
more.
Please send by return mail Direct 10
A. H. WHEELER
The Van Buren press., 1861-07-24

E%" Facts are stubborn things, said
q lawyer to female witness. :. Yes. sir"
and so are women." she replied, and II
you get anything out of me, Just let me
know it, :. You'll be committed for con.
tempt" said the lawyer. :. Very well. :"
said she. g SHALL sufsr justly. for I feel
the utmost contempt for every lawyer pre.-
ent"
The Van Buren press., 1861-07-24

~ Who goes there ?" sail an Irish
sentry Of the British lsg;on at ST. Sebas-
The Van Buren press., 1861-07-24

If should be drafted into service.
what should you do ?" said . gentleman TO
his wife. lately.
"Get a substitute for you." was the re-
plo. whereupon the worse half changed the
subject of conversation
The national Republican., 1861-11-12
DRoPosALs FOR BEEF CATTLE ON

reht 900 Beef Cattle on the Hoof. are invited The
18th day Of November, 1851, at ~ O'Clock NJ. The
Cattle to be d ,livered IN Washington City, on IT..
30th day OF November 1861. or as sooo thereafte,
as the Government may direct The biis 10 be
223 q street, Washington City, endorsed Propo
sals.n ....
Sealed pro Josas are also invited till the 10Th day
of November, 1861, at O'Clock p. NJ. for supply
ing the Goyer6ment 900 Head of Beef Cattle on
the hoof The Cattle 10 be delivered at Harrisburg
Pa on the both Of November 1851 or as soon there.
after as the Goyernm mt may dirsct The bds to be
directed 10 Lieut.. y. II. BARROLL A. G. s U. 8.
,.,2-8'G street, Washington, ID. O., and endorsed
" Proposals.
Seal. d proposals a,e invited till ths 10Th OF No.
venber, 1861, at clock 7 NJ, for supplying o,
head OF Beef Cattle to the Government. The Cattei
to be delivered on the 30th day o. January, 1852 a.
either York, Chamber.burg, or Harr sburg Pa, Us
the Government may direct The bids to be directed
to Major BECKwITd, G. s., u. 8. A., 223 @
st eet, washington, D. G., and endorsed Propo.
silsn
Government reserves to itself the right to pay In
Treasury notes, and to reject any bid for any
No bid will be entertained unless the bidder
L. present to respond to his bid.
Each lot OF Cattle delivered shall average at leas
1 800 pounds gross weight; and no animal will be
received which weighs less than 900 pounds grors
weight.
Form OF BID.
ment good BE, Cattle on the hoot Tor - per
hundred pounds gross weight The cattle to be deiiv.
cred according to the terms OF the enclosed ad.
vertiaement The Cattle to be weighed the scales
and the weight so determined to be the purchase
weight; t. hereby agree to give good and 'pficient
c.ive Treasury notes or other Government funds IN
payment for the Cattle. oct 2S-td
The national Republican., 1861-11-12
LATEST BY TELEGRAPH.

SUCCESSFUL EXPEDITION IN MISSOURI.
RoLa, Nov. 9....The following is II special
dispatch to the 81. Louis Democrh:
portion of the force sent out under Colonel
Grense into Texas County to chastise the rebels
who have for some time infested that section
returned yesterday, bringing nine prisoners,
500 head of cattle, and 40 horses and mules,
the property of armed rebels.
Among the prisoners are Spencer Mitchell,
Quartermaster, and Lieut.-Col. Tyler, lnspec.
tor of Gen. McBride's brigade.
Before leaving Houston County Col. Gren.le
issued the following proclamation:
To the People of the town of Houston, and
County of Texas, Missouri;
have this day placed upon your beautiful
Court House the flag of our Union. leave it
in your charge and protection. If taken down
by rebel hands, will return here and piage
every house In town owned by Secessionists
or those who sympathize with them.
Any outrages hereafter committed upon
Union men or their families, will be returned
on the seCessionists two fold.
Property taken from Union men by the reb
els, in or out of the county, must be returne
Immediately,
I hereby give the rebels ten days to make
good all losses sustained by Union families ir
Texas county. If neglected, the consequences
Qe upon your heads.
| shall soon return to your county, and
shall see that this proclamation Is compiled
with to the letter. II you wait for me to exc
cute it, will do it with vengeance.
N. GRENsLR,
Colonel Commanding.
The national Republican., 1861-11-12

FINLEY BIGGER, Qate Resi ter OF the U s..
TrtasuTyD and CHARLES u. SIBERIAN, Coun
selors at Law, will devote their entire attention to
the prosecution pnd settlement of demands against
the Uni ed States, growing out of the present war
including the Accounts and laims Of States, Con.
tractors and Disturbing Ofisers; app ications for
the restoration OF property illegally si.zed cap
tured, and for compensation for tile use of priya e
property for Government purposes, and for damages
for the injury Of such property by the army; r
military pay, pensions, and bounty lands anh for
Gi'trbutive shares OF monies payable at the Trsa.
sury and due to sub contractors and others
Tney will so give legal advice to claimants, con.
tractors, and to unprofessonal agents In litgated
cases; aud prepare written arguments when desired
Wi h NOn-rtsident Agents who may send them
claims, an equitable division of commits long will be
made
Undisputed Demands will be collected and
promptly RENTED for q commission of from ha'f
to two and q half per cent depending on the
amount and negotiations with the Department.
conducted on moderate terms
By pronpt attention, moderate charges, long ex.
perience, and minute knowledge Of the of laws,
class of business at the Departments, they hope To
render their services useful to claimants and pub
creditors
Reference may be made to Members Of Congress,
and officers of the Government; and especially, by
permission, TO the Hon. ELISHA WpIrTLgsEr Fir.t
Comptroller of the Treasury
Address" Messrs BIGGER l. SHERMAN,
Washington, u c."
ONCE, No 2l5 street, near Treasury and vii.
lards' Hotel. nov s-Gm
Editors of papers who publish the laws of the U.
will snttle themselves to any services we can render
them In this city, and may serve class of their
readers having business with the Government.
WAsHrSsroS, Octob r, 1861. 2w
The national Republican., 1861-11-12
Camp Tents.

The inventive genius of the American people
Is without end and the war now raging between
the two sections seems to have given fresh
impetus to 1t in the invention and manufacture
of everything conducive to the comfort of the
brave defenders of their country, thereby
softening the rigors and inconvenience Of
camp-li'e, as well rs in the invention of.appli.
ances to damage the cause of ITS enemies.
In front of the War Department, there are no
less than IF cen different samples of canvass
tents, the inventor of each, we suppose, claim
ing a superiority for his own invention, over
that of his neighbor. There are also several
wooden sheds, designed for the quartering "f
troops during the winter, besides numerous
smaller models inside of the building.
The national Republican., 1861-11-12
nov IL


ID
TRUSTEES SALE OF ELEGANT FRkNCHPL1TE
MIRRORS AND BROCATELLE CURTAINS, SUPE-
Ri0R CARINET FURNITURE, CARPATS, &c, AT
PUBLIC AUCTION.
On THURSDAY morning, November II. at 10
o clock at the large residence of Third and
G streets, by virtue of deed Of trust duly execu
ted and recorded the sub.crb will sell, at public
auction all the Household Furniture and Elects,
comprising
Superior rosew ood case seven octave Piano Forte,
by Barmore.
Crimson Cloth Cover and Piano Stool.
Suite of superior rosewood Parlor In embroidered
Satin Covers, consisting of two French 80
fss, two Arm Chairs, and six Parlor Chairs.
Elegant rosewood Mirror Front Etsgerss aud hu-
Rosewood Secretary and Bookcase
Marble-top Centre Table.
Three splendid French plate Pier Glassss, with
slab and table.
Two large and Landowner such. plate Gilt Frame
Suite of six rich Crimson Brocatslls window
Curtains, with Cornice.
Lsoe Curtains and fixtures complete.
Suite Of handsome W alnut Parlor Furniture, con
sisting Of two Scfas, two rm. chairs, and four
Parlor Chairs, in figured brocatelle.
Beautiful French China Vases and Ornaments.
Superior Medallion.
Velvet and Brussels Carr cts and Rugs
Handsome oak marble top Sideboards.
Oak Extension Dir ing Tables and Chairs.
French Chin. gold band Dinner Ware, Glassware,
Library Tables, Writing Decks.
Suites Of Splendid rosewood Chamber Furniture,
with mirror. front Wardrobes.
Suite Of very handsome carved Mahogany Cham
Spring and other Mattresses.
blankets, Comforts and Spreads.
Window Shades, Toilet Sets, &c.
cHAS. E. SHERMAN, Trustee.
J. Y. MCGUIRE GO.
nov Id Austioneers
The national Republican., 1861-11-12
From st. Louis.

81. Louis, Nov. S.-[Special Dispatch to the
Chicago Tribune. l-General Fremont has re-
ported to Washington by letter, and it is be
lie ed that he will remain in St. Louis for the
present.
Members of Fremont's staff say that General
Price left Neosho on Tuesday morning. He
has gone south, and 1t is now believed that the
rebels seen about Wilson'S Creek only con
sisted of their best regiments of cavalry, and
sent there to deceive us.
No man or woman about Springfield could be
found to say that they had seen Ben. McCul'
loch in weeks; while many would assert posi-
lively that he was dead. The belief is genera
among staff officers that Ben. is dead.
Jim Lane, when he heard of Fremont's reno
| val made the remark that the Government had
| better turn the contract over to him to clean
| out the rebels. He said he would agree to dc
the Job with Is 900 men, If the Government
would only furnish transportation.
Commodores Foote and Porter, chief of the
river naval forces, now in this city, condemn
the action of the military authorities in regart
! to the affair at Belmont, in bringing the gun
boats into action without their knowledge.
The national Republican., 1861-11-12
NEW INVENTlUN OF ARTIFICIAL
IN CHEOPL ASrIC BONE TEETH,
without metal plate or clasps, by

d R. ). b. SIG F. 3 ND,
80 Broadway, New York; and 26O Penna. avenue,
bet. 18th and 18th SITS, Washington, d. c.,
Calls the attention OF the public to the following
advantages of his improved system:
l,t The teeth of his ufacure will never corrode
change color by any acids and are three 70 rths
lighter than any other.
I'd No teeth or roots need be extracted, as the
artificial ones eau be inserted over them.
3D. The roots will be mIds inofe ensive and never
to ache.
Attn. No temporary teeth are needed, as permanent
ones can be made mmediately, thereby preserving
the natural EXPIRE sion Of The face, which, under the
old sy stem, is irt tquently disfgured.
9TH. This work has been fully tested, for five
years. by many OF the first Chemists and Physicians
of this and the old country.
DR.. y. has also invented q white indestructibls
metal filing with which the most sensitive teeth
be filled without pam, and can build up perfect
sound tooth on any side roots, which will last
through lifetime.
lie refers to the following gentlemen: DIR. V. Mo t
Or. foremus, Professor Of Chemistry; Hon: A.
Mann, jun Capt. Crabtree, Vice President of the
Emigration Co of New York; Hon. Judge Wayne,
OF the Supreme Court, of Washington, d. c.; and
thousands of others.
Call and examine for yourselves nov Sim
The national Republican., 1861-11-12
The metropolitan n Railroad.

At meeting of the Georgetown city councils,
on Friday evening last, n resolution was passed
authorizing ,he sale Of the stock Of the Metro.
poltan Railroad, owned by the corporation, to
all the stock, and proceed ut once to build the
road. They propose, II Ia stated, to extend the
road through Frederick city and Hagerstown,
Mary and, and to effect u junction with the
Pennsylvania Central; also, to construct several
branch roads Ipr army purposes.
We hear, also, that the company Is purchas.
ing ali the shares in the Metropolitan Railroad
held by individuals.