Delaware State journal and statesman., 1861-05-31
ARTEMUs WARD IN THE SOUTH.
HIS TRIALS AND ADVENTURES.

HIS TRIALS AND ADVENTURES.
had narrer escape from the sonny South.
THE swings and arrers of outraius fortiG,' NJ
luded 10 by Hamllck, warn't nolhin in compai
son to my trubles. came pesky near sweatin
some profane onths more'n onct, but | hope
didn't do it, for I've promist she whose name
shall be nameless Except that her inidnls is
Betsey ~ that I'll jne the Meeiiu House at
Baldinsville jest Ms soon as l eau scrape money
enuif together so as | can ford to be piuss in
good slilt, like my wealthy nabtrs. But if I'm
cOnhsticated agin TN afraid shall continner on
in my present benited state for sum time
l fggerd coDspcyusly in many thrilling scenes
10 my towor from Montgomery to my humsted
and 90 several occasions | thought the grntt
komic paper wouldn't never be inriched no more
with my uhrications. AFTER biddin adoo to JET
ferson d. | started for the depot I saw mig
ger sittin on IA fence a playin on n bnnio. My
Afrikin Brother sed l. kotin from Track
Dnct red, you belong to very interes,in race.
Your masters is goin to war e1clOosiyly on your
account
Yes, boss he replied, 'an wish 'em honor
able graves = and he went on playin the banjo
lartin all over and openin his mouth wide enuff
to drive in an old fashioned 2 wheeled chase.
The train OF cars in which | was to trust my
vulnerable life was the soalie st. ricky test ookn
lot OF consarns that ever,saw on wheels afore.
collins leave!' inquired of the depot master
He sed direckly. and wen in & sot down.
hadn't more'n fairly squatbed fore dark lookin
man with swinister expr ession onto his coun-
tenance entered the cars, and lookin very sharp
at me, he axed what was my principles?
Secesh answered. I'm Dissouter.-
I'm in favor of JEFF. Dav is, Bouregard, Pickens
Capt. Kidd, Bloobeard, Munro Edards, the DEVIL
Mrs. Cunningham and all the rest Of EN-
You're In favor of the wal?
'Certingly. BY all means. I'm ia favor Of
this war and ALEC Of the next war. I've been in
favor Of the next war for over sixteen years
War to the knive " sed the man.
Blud, Fargo, blC,d sed |, tho them words
isn't origgernal With me- Them words was rit
the author Of 'The Seven Sisters, who's goin to
hnv spring oyercOat made out of il.
We got under way at larst an proceeded on
our journey at about the rate of speed which is
ginrally observed by properly conducted funeral
professions. hansum yung gal, with red
muskeeter bar on the back part of her he'd, aud
sassy little black hat tipt over her torrerd sot
in the seat with me. She wore II little Secesh
flag pin'd onto her hat, and she WAS goin for to
see her tIoo love, who bad jined the Southern
army, all so bold and COY So she told me. She
was chilly, and offered her my blanket
Father Twin p axed.
Yes, sir
Got any Uncles?'
"a heap Uncle Thomas is ded, tho
'Peace to Uncle Thomas ashes, and success to
him! | will be your Uncle Thomas Lean
on me, my pretty Secesher, and linger in blissful
repose4 She slept rs secoerly as m her own
hOusen, and didn't disturb the sollum stiffness
of the night with AIRY snors.
AT the first station Il troop of SQjers entered
the cars and inquired il old Wax Works was on
bored. That was the disrespectiv stile in which
i NAurw aTnu uu1N 40. ~ 4
is on bored, seq man with face like Il double
brested lobster, 'we're going to hang Old Wax
Worksv
My illustriOus aud patriotic Bummers = SEE /,
gittin up and takin orr my Shappoe, If you al
lude to A. Ward it's my pleasin dooty 10 inform
you that he's ded. He saw the errer of his ways
at 10 minits past yesterday, aud stabbed him-
sell with stuffed sledstake, dyin in five beauti-
full taboos to slow moosic! His larst words was,
My perfeshernal career is oyer l jerk no
more.'
And who be your
I'm a stoodent in Senator Benjamin Law
ofIiss. I'm goin up North to steal sum spoons
and things for the Southern Army
This was satisfactory, and the intoxicated
troopers went OFF At the next station the pretty
little Secesher awoke and sed she must git GU
there l bid her kind adoo aud Civ her sun
pervisions. Accept my bleasin and this hunk o
gingerbread 7 sed She tbankt me muchy aud
tript gay away. There's considerable human
mater in a man, and Pm fraid shall alters civ
aid and comfort to the enemy if he Gums to me il
the shape of nice young gal
At the next station didn't get OFF so easy.
was dragged out of the cars aud rolled in The
mud for several minits, for the purpuss of 'takiI
the conseet out Of me- as o Secesher kind,
stated
was let up finally, when n powerful, larg
Secesher came up and embraced me- and to shov
that be had no hard feelins ngin me, put hi
, nose into my mouth l returned the compliment
by placing my stumck suddenly agin his RICH
foot, when he kindly made spiitoon of his able
bodied face. Aotooated by n desire 10 SCI
whether the Secesher had been vaxinated, | ihel
| fastened my teath onto his left coat sleeve an,
tore it to the shoulder. We then violently but
ted our heads together for few miuits, dance
Q round a little, and sot down in a mud puddle
We rz to our feet agin s. by sudden Il adroi
y movement placed my left eye again the Secesb
, er's fist We then rushed into each others arm
& and fell under o two-hoss wagon. was very
1 much exhausted, and didn't care about gettin u
j. agin, but the man said he reokoned I'd better
i and conclooded / would. He pulled me up
but hadn't been on my feet moren two second
n afore the ground few up and hit ne in the he'd
q The crowd sed it was high old sport, bat
# couldn't zakly see where the lafture come in.
1t riz and we embraced agin. We oareere1 mad
:, to a steep bank, when got the upper hands @
e my antagonist and threw him into the rayeen.-
N He fell about forty feet, striking a grindston
m pretty hard. understood he was injured.
ie havea't heard from the grindstone.
L A man in a cockt hat cum up and sed he fe
ID as tho a apology was doc mo. There was mis-
al take. The crowd had taken me for another man
* told him not TO mention it, axed him if his viii
re and little ones was SOS to be about, aud got 0
g bored the train, which had stopped at that static
r 20 minits for refreshments.' got oil wanteS
ie 1t was the hartiest meal | ever eat
In was rid on a rale the next day, bunch
10 hlazn fire crackers bein tied to my coat tale
1t was fine speetycal in a dramatic pint