The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1861-02-14
WHAT NOT.

A girl thinks Of her lover as her vital spark.
Why are bachelors like criminals? Because
they hate to go into court.
Why is the harbor of Charleston unpopular
with the girls? Because all the buoys have
been removed.
Many fashionable women who claim to be-
long to the unadulterated ton have juet claims;
they represent the simpleton.
Why did Adam bite the apple? said the
schoolmaster to one of his pupils. Because he
had no knife, replied the urchin,
''Theres more in that fellow shead than you
suspect mo there ain't,' said Dick, For l
always thought he had em."
"Shall leave some tracts here?"-"Yes,"
said the irritated burgher, with the heels to-
wards the door"
81 GO through my work, as the needle said
to the idle boy. But not till you are hard
pushed" as the idle boy said to the nee
die.
A son of Erin being asked why he wore his
stockings inside out, replied, "Bekase there's q
hole in tn ither side Of en-"
1t is a great deal better to say less than hail
what you think; than to think only half what
you say.
wife's farewell to her husband, every morn.
mg-Buy-buy.
Always be rs witty as you can with your
parting bow; your last speech is the one re-
membered.
1t is not the multitude of applause, but the
good sense of the applauders, which gives val.
ue to reputation.
AS riches and favor forsake man we dis.
cover him to be fool but nobody can find if
out in his prosperity.
man being commiserated with an account
of his wife's running away. said: don't pity
me till she comes back again.
A HINT.-Old Anglers says that when Won
want to catch a fine fish, you must not threw
the bait exactly at him; but little one side,
Ladies will undoubtedly take the hint.
"Why do you set your cup of coffee upon the
chair, Mr.. Jones?' sit is so very weak ma am >
realized Mr. Jones, demurely, 81 thought |
would let it rest
An exchange tells of young man who re-
Gently died of disappointed ambition, as he
wanted to wear high shirt collaIs, and his
mo Their wouldn't let him.
1t is said that the hunger of gold genera lly
increases with age. Accordingly we see that
most of onr old people mare 1t in their o,cn
mouths.
The Charleston CouGisr gives what ia call
ed an abstract of the Presidents Message" II
the familiar quotation; pity the sorrows of,
poor old mani"
The less man knows, the wider he wear
his mouth open. 1t is as impossible for a foo
TO keep his jaws shut, as it is for sick oyste
to keep his shell closed.
| The following bill, rendered by earpente
to farmer for whom he had worked. seems a
least curious: ITO hanging two barn door
and myself seven hours, one dollar and a half
He who is passionate and hasty, is general,
honest. It's your old, dissembiinp 6ynocrit
of whom you should beware. There's no de
Ception in a bulldog. 1t is only the cur tina
sneakss up and bites'you when your back
turned.
Why don't men and women roll out of be
when they are asleep rs children do?-Hayin
got over that please let us know WIN doc
bsrk at full moon, and never at the ne,
one? ~
f A lazy, over-fed lad, returning from his di,
ner to his work, one day, was asked bv HI
master 'if he had no other motion than that >
Yes" replied the youth, 'but little SLOW
err" '