Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1861-12-19
From which nectar drips,
Sweeter for than the wine of Madeira
And the loves of to-day,
How Brilliant o may
They always be brilliant and CHEEKY.
Then here's to Major b., &c.


Then here's to Major b., &c.
"No criticisms Master Joe, as you wanted
no banterings, | would like no pullings to
pieces, but would like to remark that strung
these jingIes together while you were dlating
on your Veaus. So they are pretty near what
you might call impromptu. As | have now
the call, let US have story from our worthy
host"
Major" Well, boys, l believe you have
heard about all the stories know, at least a
dozen times, and as | cannot make them out
of whole cloth like the Doctor, there, nor will
| study all week like Charlie to have prime
lot for the Saturday evening meetings, you will
have to take up with something not very in
tereSting, or worse-something neither inter-
bStiug nor new"
Major, let me help you. None of them
have eyef heard about your silk vest but me,
and have never whispered a word to any
one.n
"Pshaw only told you then for some
thing to say. as we were riding by the old
house in Burlington, where have spen so many
happy hours before some of you were born
But | see I'll get no peace now till | tell it,"
THE MAJORS STORY.
When | was bOy-about twenty five or
thirty years ago-this country was as new as
Nance Eibree's field, more black StumpS than
ground to stand oD, and where, on going home
from two weeks spree, on a moonlight night
every stump put on a hat and chased Nance
till he tainted and fell, being found next morn
ing in a corner of the fence, all blackened up,
aud every drop Of whisky out of his Jug Moth.
ing would make him believe tee devil had no
hand in it, as he frankly owned lie came to
him in the shape of big black stub which had
hold OF the jug, out Of which it drank, and then
made Nance take pull, which he sWore tast-
ed like birthstone. Mnch to his satisfaction |
concided with him in opinion, it being clear
case of Jug ler-y. Stores wasn't very plenty
then or money to buy with so US youngsters
had to 20 dressed in homeSpun. Sheep grey
coats aud butternut-Coored troWserS and vests
waiStcoatS we colled them then-tow shirts,
and deer-Skin mocaSsins Well, we were all
happy, no jealousy about fue clothes, as we
were all dressed as near alike as Indians.
Unfortunately something put it iuto nv
good mothers head to make me waistcoat
out of piece of silk she had brought years
ago from old Connecticut. There was to be
a dance at Burlington, and the first time |
wore it was to go there. Twas a hitter cold
afternoon when hitched up the brown mare,
and went after my partner, second cousin,
Kate, as pretty girl Gs there was in the
whole settlement. | amt going to compare
her cheeks to seasheIls like Joe, or tell about
spipping her cherry lips like the Doctor, as
the ouly time tried that she bit me such cuff
on the side of my head, that / saw stars, and
my ears rOug for all hour after Maybe JOY
wou't kill but box from healthy hearty,
hundred and fifty pound girl, is anything but
love tap. got there safe, and found Kate
ready. | unbuttoned my oVercoat and coat,
and handed her to the cutter, wrapped her up
snug in the wolf robes, and took my seat -
Away went the mare at what you young bloods
call killing pace, making the cold air cut
right through my breast
why By" says Kate, "you have
forgotten to button up your coat I'd think
you'd freeze !"
Not a word about the vest yet.
No danger says |, while sitting by you
my heart keeps humping as if it would break
through my toalstcOat!
"Pshaw,' says she, what Lovel have you
been reading ?
"'None,' says |, but the book that's beat
ing inside of my 1oaistc0at p
Get out" says she, keep your eyes on
your horse, and not be counting the buttouS
OIL your clothes, or well get tipped over
grunted pulled my coat round me, half
mortified that she wouldn't notice my fnery set
the mare going her best lcks, and it want
long till we pulled up at the old dubIe-log
house | showed you the other day; helped her
out of the sleigh, drove to the stable, aud put
out the animal. A good many had come, and
were then dancing in the upper story, while
the folks below were busy getting supper.
pulled oil my ogercOat threw back the lapels
OF my coat, and went up. | was kindly greet
ed by my acquaintance in the room, but no
one seemed to be any more struck with my ap-
pearance than if dressed as the rest | slipped
down stairs; went to the glass and took a good
look at myself The vest was all right
smooth, and shining gosSer than Kates black
hair. After we bad supper, we again went up
stairs to dance till the tables were cleared off
and room made below Some of the chinking
was out and the wind whistled through the
creVces making active exercise necessary to
keep warm was dancing with Kate, when,
on pause in the music being satisfied all eyes
we're on me, l anbattoned my vest, threw it
back from my chest, remarkng, loud enough for
for every one III the room to hear, that SILK
sOas dreadful 1crm The shout that follow,
ed may be imagined, Kate was blushing red as
a peOny / made a rush for the stairs, out of
The house to grocery, and in an hour | was
about as drunk an individual as you generally |
see. Twas the best lesson ever got that
vest cured me of any preteusions to foppery."
Other short stories were told, and songs
we're sung, till the "wee short hour ayant the
waP admonished US to go home; but while
debating the proprety of going or staying, the
iiningroom- doors were again opened, the !
Major calling TO US supper was ready. No one
lad dreamed of any other supper than the