The Alleghanian. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1859-1865, 1861-05-02

Hhahhlnc-I couiu SeV LoDouy W aSlec
with me.
"What has come over your house late
ly?" cried one good-natured visitor; Hsome-
how it don't look like it used to-
E'What makes your house look so rusty
and old-fashioned ?' said another good
natured visitor.
''Mr. Blankprize has taken the shine
off you" said Mrs. Sewerby; "he has killed
yOur house %
Hereupon the spirit moved me to get
out and reconnoitre the venerable man
sion. 1t certainly did look little chubby,
rusty, old-fashioned quaker by the side of
first rate dandy. | picked a quarrel
with it outright, which by the way, was a
very unlucky quarrel. [ was not rich
enough TO pull it down and build a new
one and it was great folly to quarrel with
an old house until you can get better
But if | can't build, | can paint, thought
[, and put at least as good a face on the
matter as this opulent lottery man, my
next door neighbor. Accordingly l con
suited my wife on the subject, who,
whether from "a spirit of contradiction, or
to do her justice, believe from a correct
and rational view of the subject, discour-
aged my project. | was only the more
determined So [ caused my honest old
house to be painted bright cream color,
that it might hold up Its head against the
scurvy lottery man.
''Bless me :" quoth Mrs. Smith, "what
is the matter with this room ? 1t don't
look as it used to-"
SHYhy, what under the sun have you
j Al ;ol
"Protcct mep' exclaimed Mrs. White,
''why | seem to have got into a strange
room. What Is the matter?'
"Iou hare ktl2eddte inside Of your house,"
said Mrs. Sowerby, "by painting the out
side such bright coloc."
1t was too true; this was my first crime
Would | had stopped there .-bu+ destiny
determined otherwise 1t happened un-
fortunately that my front parlor carpet
was of a yellow ground. 1t was, to be
sure, somewhat faded by time and use, but
it comported very well with the unpreten-
ding sobriety OF my house, under the old
1'reoime." But the case was altered now,
and the bright cream color Of the outside
''kiiled' the dingy yellow carpet within.
So [ bought new carpet of q fine orange
ground, determined that this should not
be killed 1t looked very fine and [ was
fectually.
''Bless my soul.'' cried Mrs. Smith,
'!what a sweet pretty carpet"
''Save us ~ exclaimed Mrs. Brown,
..why you look as fine as twopence."
''Protect us.'' cried Mrs. Soweroy,
"what a fashionable affair" Then casting
a knowing look around the room, she add
ed in a tone of hesitating candor, ..but
don't you think, somehow or other It Ai2ts
tie curtains ?''
Another murder. thought I wretch
that | am, what have [ done? What is
done cannot be undone; but can remedy
the affair So I bought a new suit of yell
low curtains. [ viii twig 1Irs. Sowerby
now.
Mrs Sowerby came the very next day.
Well, | declare, now this is charming
| never saw more tasty curtains. But nay
dear Mr. sobersides, somehow or other,
don t you think they kill the walls?"
Murder again Four stone walls killed
at a-bow. But I'll get the better of Mrs.
Sowerby yet. So [ got the walls colored
as bright as the curtains, and bade her
defiance in my heart the next time she
came.
Mrs Sowerby came as usual. Her
whole life was spent in visiting about
everywhere, and putting people cut of
conceit with themselves.
She threw up her eyes and her hands.
"Well, / declare, Mr.. Sobersides, you have
done wonders This is the real French
white, which, by the way, my unlearn-
ed readers should know is yellow. "But,'
continued the pestilent woman, sdon't
you think these bright colored walls hiN
tic chars ?'
Worse and worse. Here are twelve in
nocent old arm chairs, with yellow satin
bottoms ard backs, murdered by four un-
feeling French white walls. But there is
a remedy for all things but death So |
forthwith procured new set Of chairs as
yellow as custard, and snapped my fingers
in triumph at Mrs. Sowerby the next time
she came.
But alas what are all the towering
hopes of man. Dust, ashes, emptiness,
nothing. Mrs. Sowerby was not yet sat
isfed She thought the chairs were beau
tiful.
"But then, my dear friend" she said,
after an appalling pause, "ny friend, those
bright yellow satin chairs have killed the
picture frames -
And so they had, as dead as Julius Ce-
sar; the picture frames looked like old