Nebraska advertiser. [volume] (Brownville, Nemaha County, N.T. [Neb.]) 1856-1882, 1861-11-14
Prize COnundPumS,

HfOIeSSOr ANDERSON, the Magician,
offered a gold watch each to the lady
and gentleman who should offer the best
conundrum, and the night appointed for
the award brought together as many
people as the fremont Temple could con-
tain and, of course, there were some
hundreds of them who had anxious hearts
pending the test of the pungency an
| efficacy of tleir wit. The Commatte Cf
adlunctlon took their places on the plat
form, after the major performances were
over, and some FIVE hundred conundrums
were read, many of which were received
with applause. jolly good humor pre-
vailed throughout, although the process Of
reading was protracted one. 1t lasted
until II o'clock, when the Judges, among
whom was 8. The Autocrat of the Break
fast Table" retired to consult on their
solemn verdict on the funniest of all pos
>ible cases We select a few samples of
the conundrums. to show on what stort of
evidence they founded the verdict, which
of course, as is the case with all judicial
decisions involving great public interests,
was subject to the criticism of conflicting
| opiniOns:-
BY LADIES.
Why is Mrs. Lincoln like Lazarus =
Because she reposeS on Abraham'S bo-
som
Why are the conundrums tonight like
Stevens guns on the l2,h of April g.
Because they are aimed at Anderson
watch.
Why are the audience guessing this
conundrum like the leaders of the South
ern Confederacy Because they will
have to give it up.
Why is General Mcclellan like a per-
son who has just captured small insect
which has disturbed his rest? Because
he sees the wicked flea before him.
BY GENTLEMEN.
Why will Americans have more cause
TO remember the letter S than any other
letter in the al alphabet? Because it is the
beginning of secession and the end of
jeff. Davis.
Why is Prof Anderson like David of
old? Because he beats all (beat Saul.
Why is w. H. Russell, LII D., like
low prices? Because he corresponds
with the Times.
Why is the rebels propo- itiOn for Uncle
Sam to 'Iet 'em alone" like a nigger in
a coal-hole looking after a Brattle street
boot Because he, don't see it in that
light.
Why is an owl in the daylight like the
President of the United States? Be-
cause he is a-bliukin', (Abe Lincoln.)
Why was the mother of Noes, of
Bible history, unlike Dr. Russell of the
London Times? Because she made
run for the buIrush and he made a rush
from the Bull Run.
Why are the rebel leaders like turkeys
When their mecks are stretched there will
be general thanksgiving.
Why Is Henry Ward Beecher worse
than Brigham Young! Because he has
married more woEel than he can support,
and would like to marry more.
WHY can't Gen. Beauregard have soup
as well as McClrllan! Because he can't
get the pot O Mac. (Potomac.)
AWARDS.
The watches were assigned to the au-
lhors of the following conundrums
Ladies' Prize, Gold Watch-'Why
is it impossible for the government to
grant the request of our Southern breth-
rem? Because children in arms are new
er let alone"
Gentlemen's Prize. a Gold Watch
why IS a water lilly like a whale 81
Because it comes 10 the surface to blow. "
HOlIyhOck Leaves Make q BeaGtl-
ful Dye.