Lewistown gazette. [volume] (Lewistown, Pa.) 1843-1944, 1861-06-27
MISCELLANEOUS,
MATRIMONIAL INFELICITIEs.
BY AN IRRITABLE MAN.
Ny Wife has a Headache.

'What in the world is the matter with
you now, my dear! ! said to my amable
spouse, who, on my return home from Dusi-
ness | found with white handkerchief
tied about her head, while a strong scent Of
camphor pervaded the house.
L shouldn't think you would have to
ask what Is the matter, for you might
know I have one Of my terrible headaches,
my wife replied.
well, l am very sorry to hear it,
said.
'Of course you are very sorry to hear it,
she answered, for you think III not be
able now to attend to getting you your din
ner'
Don't, my dear said, worry about
dinner. There is no necessity for you to
go in the kitchen, that am aware of, for
the cook can get dinner just as well as if
you were there to direct her
But the cook left me this morning, |
would have you understand, because |
would not allow her to make fresh coffee
for her breakfast She said that which
we drank was not strong enough
well, never mind it, answered !; am
glad she is gone. She was very wasteful
and extravagant
'Oh, it is easy enough for you to say
never mind it, and your glad she Is gone,
but you don't have to get the dinners, and
think, I suppose, that l will 20 into the
kitchen and prepare the meals, till another
cook arrives but I don't intend u do it.
L am sure | do not wish you to, my
| dear I said 4 had much rather 20 with
out both breakfast and dinner than for you
to 90 into the kitchen and prepare them
You say so, said the wife, but yoa
/ don't mean it. You would rather have me
slave to death, and burn myself over the
range, than go without your dinners. And
now, when my head aches SO that | can
hardly see, l have got to 90 and get din
ner for you
But 1 tell you my dear Ireplied, that
you need not, am not hungry, and can do
WITHOUT dinner today
'Then you must have dined down town
That is the way you like to serve me
When am just ready to get good din
ner for you, and have puzzled my brains
all day thinking Of what you would Ike to
eat, you come home and tell NE that YOU
have no appetite, and have been to dinner,
Good gracious | exclaimed, if you
want to get dinner for me, getit. won't
stop YOU
'Of course you would not stop me, she
answered You'd let me get dozen din
ners for you in one day, even when you
had no appetite to any Of them
FHGu are certainly, my dear, | said,
the most unreasonable woman | ever met.
Now tell you distinctly, your may get me
a dinner or not, as you please-do which
you like best, and I shall be satisfied but
if there be one thing l dislike more than
another, it is being obliged to 60 without
any dinner
'Of course chimed in my wife, if l
failed to get dinner for you to-day, l should
never hear the last OF it. You pretend
not to wish me to get it, but if l didn't, I
think there would be an exciting time in
this house. The innocent children would
suffer, [ know, and | would be put down
with all kind of expressions. l know you
were vexed the moment you entered the
room. The ejaculation made when you
scented the camphor, convinced me of that,
if the hateful way in which you threw your
gloves in to your hat had not been suffi-
cient. Then, too, when you drew off your
boots, you left them fall heavily on the
floor, as if it delighted you to make my
poor head ache more. Oh you men are
cruel to your wives, and you take pleasure
in being So
! Well, never mind I said, saying any
thing more about it. The fact is, 1 have
decided to have my dinner, and if can't
obtain it here, will go where I can. 1t
seems to me you make great fuss about a
simple headache. In my opinion, a head
ache is the lightest Of all maladies Quiet