Dallas herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1849-1873, 1861-11-06
Whole Number, 473.
loestloks in Nashington.
From Ihs sunday lls!suTy;

rail fence The whole plan OF the town Is
exactly that of splderWebi the Capitol
building Is the fat old spider Ia the middle,
aud all Ihe 0iher houses are huge flies that
have got into the web aud can't get out.
The " hole country round is dotted with
little white tents rs thick rs II there had
been snow storm that hadn't melted away
vet or as Ii some one OF the huge old
heathen gods, before tossing or an ocean OF
beer at one tremendous gulp had blown
the fro,h all over the surrounding country.
Nobody, in ordinary times, lives in WASH
ington; folks only stay here, and talk.
Wien Congress goes away everybody goes
with II, Just as II everybody thought ho
was Congress. The public buildings are
taken down and put away, mud tho people
have TO pay the storage. When Congress
Is gone there isn't amy city here; nothing
but patch OF ground, covered with empty
ohaIapegpe aud beer botilesi and with
pieces of paper, which are bills that didn't
pay and with red tapc-as II the whole
place had been seeded down with these in
icrcs,ing articles, in the hope that they
would grow mp iuto splendid crop.
Washington just now, however is full OF
military men--soldicrs arc such gaudy
animals. As to officers, | suppose there
must be at least thirty officers TO evcry
soldier. In fact, think there nrc million
officers at Wizards Hotel every day; and
understand that there are us many as
hundred soldiers in the different camps
about but the soldiers don't come TO Will
lard's much; l suppose they don't know
Willard.
You can't migrate road without run
ming over few cooncls, or knocking down
major or so. This morning stepped OIL
the toe of lioutcnant; and as Turned
h. apologize, rammed one Of my elbows
into the stomach of a general, and the other
into the eye ofa captain, who stumbled over
little knot of licutenants colonels, who
fell in blue and gold heap, dragging down
with them some ensiens and major gene
rel of division. Saw had done mischief,
and turned to run. when tangled my feet
| in the swords of couple of other generals,
| which pitched me head first into the ribs OF
another general, who also fell down, trip
ping up in his fall two or three other gene
rails. expected to have guard Of gene
rails sent after me, with park OF artillery
or two; to put me in the guard house; quite
the contrary they thought, from the way
knocked people about, that | was certainly
Cmmamder-in-chief; so some Of the gene
rails picked me mp, and they all touched
their hats.
This touching of the hat is a great in
slituticn-but everybody does it, do it.
When first came here saw everybody
giving the military salute TO everybody else.
So began TO do the military; touched my
hat to everybody; my arm kept going up
and down like pump handle; pumped
away for week, and my arm got so lame
that began to fear aniputation. Then
conceived the idea of doing the military
salute with my f5ot; thought it would be
very effective, especially if man wore
patent leather boot and u gilt spur; practi.
ced it two days in my room, and then dld
it in the street TO a general; he thought
meant TO insult him, and he threatened
guard house; when he mentioned guard
house. went away; | don't like to say ]
ran, but went away, and the time was
| good.
Then studied into the philosophy Of
the military pump handle salute business
concludid | wouldn't pump handle to any
bodyunder general. | had hitherto been
especially careful to pump-handle to the
! gentleman with stripes on their arms.
thought they were major generals. Now l
know the whole mystery Of it, and I'll tell,
There are three sizes of generals: briga-
dier generals, with one star ON the shoulder
malor-generals, with two stars on the
shoulder; and generals of division, with
three dittos on ditto | now pump-handle
to single barreled generals, and to double
barrcled generals, and to the high pressue
generals with three stars; but no fellow
| that hasn't at least one star on his shoulder
strap ever gets any more. pump.handle cut
ofme.
had heard so much talk about the rebels
attacking Washington, got nervous about
it. and for few days | few to arms (put
ON my boots and got ready to travel) about
twenly-onc times day. For instance,
carly one morning ! heard tremendous
cannonading-lle to arms in big scare
-cannonade proved to bea runaway ARM
wagon numbering along on the side walk
went and saw Willard and got my scare
of.
Heard tremendous clatter of musketry
flew 10 arms-seare as bcfore-musketfy
proved to be chambermaid smashing crock
cry accidentally. Saw Willard, and whip
ned scare as before. Heard tremendous
charge Of cavalry-scare, as formerly
| Cavalry charge was u small negro on
small mule. Saw Willard, etc. And 50,
for several days, was continually flying
to arms.
Willard is very popular-Willard is y
man--in fact, threc or four men. Willard
keeps his three or four selves behind
counter, and Willard keeps long row OF
bottles behind him. Willard has a great
deal of business with the bottles, and al
the officers have great deal of business
with Willard. In fact, the more offcera
man is, the more he don't do anything bu