Pomeroy weekly telegraph. [volume] (Pomeroy, Meigs County, Ohio) 1860-1866, 1861-04-19
aaisrellanp.
From the Home Journal.
Matrimonial 1nfelicities.
BY AN IRRITABLE MAN.

My DEAR 1 said to the lady who
was seated opposite to me at the break
fast table, and who has the good fortune
to be my wife, eff there be one thing [
dislike more than another, it is to re-
ceiye cup Of coffee that looks as if it
had been slipped from before it reached
my hands. Have [ not often asked you
to fill my cup within an eighth of an
inch Of the rim, aud not give it to me
half or three quarters full?"
ou are as particular as an old bach
elor, the estimable lady replied, "and
if had known it before married you,
his day would. not have seen me yo ur
wife. There, sir. is your cup Of coffee;
hope it will suit you"
Good gracious!'' [ exclaimed, as I
took the cup, "now you've managed to
run it over. You certainly must be
aware that if there be one thing I dis
like more than another, it is to find
slops in my saucer"
"Well, if you will insist on my filing
the cup, you must expect that some
times l shall spill it over; besides, your
finding fault with me does no good, but
makes me nervous, and causes my hand
to tremble, so that only wonder there
is any coffee left in the cup. But here
is clean saucer, in place of the one you
have.
Having effected this important change,
tasted the contents of my cup. 1t
was evident to me that there was no su-
gar in it. l tasted it again to make GER
tain of the fact Then [ said to her:
"You have neglected to put sugar
into my coffee. If there be one thing l
dislike more than another, it is coffee
unsweetened.'
II am certain" replied my estimable
spouse. 'that did sweeten it. l don t
think that you have stirred it,
"But know 1 have,'' answered
"Not with your spoon, said the pro-
voking woman, ''for it is perfectly dry;
perhaps, however, you used your fork u
"Pshawr' was all the answer I vouch
safed to this remark
''Now, I declare said, after having
stirred and slipped my coffee, ''you We
made it too sweet. If there is one thing
l dislike more than another, it is to have
my coffee taste like sirup.'
"Let me put more milk with it, then?''
said the obliging woman.
"No, thank you, =" [ replied, II don't
care to have my stomach turned into a
dairy. If there be one thing dislike
more than another, it is milk. I gave
up my milk diet when l cut my first
teeth :"
alt is to be hoped that you will give
up the habit of fault finding, which you
possess in an eminent degree, when you
come to cut your wisdom teeth, though
no one can tell when that will be-
Thank you,' [ replied; "you vii
, probably be the first who will know i
when it occurs"
"And happy day it will be for me,
she answered, with provoking calmness
"Few know, though, how much unhap
piness your constant fault finding cause.
me. Nothing [ do seems to give yor
satisfaction. There isn't momen
elapses, while you are in the house, say.
when you re asleep, but you are thu
occupied. The truth is, l have alway
been too indulgent with you, and hume
you when l ought not. [ did not com
mence right in the first place. l shoult
have paid no attention to your whims
e but studied my own convenience ant
$ comfort, instead Of seeking to make ev
rything smooth and pleasant for you
. Then would have got along much bet
ter. oh, you men are great tyrants; ant