Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1861-04-04
THEaREPUBIfUAN,

- AA@ t1 ~ IL IL Il O4llfs
From the Boston Herald.
h Feeling Article on Rheumatism, by
Que Who has Obsefsetfit Acutely.
What Is rhonniatism9 Those Who'll have
been masle acquainted with tliis malady
by personal experiences will. need no an
swer to this question. and the calculation
shall attempt is. for the benefit OF those be-
ings by whom it is but dimIy understood
Eheumstism iss dragon-ad dragon with
the tenacity of a first class bull dog, and
the strength of viii and malignity of a
demon. This dragon sseizes you by the
shoulder. for instancs7hs holds or. he
won't les 50. anil yon suffer pangs insult.
ierable. -. 7.i
a very simple case. saysltl,o uninitiatel
one. Let yonr nurse take the dragon by
the TAI, and yopr physician pry open the
Jaws, and you are relieved. 90. s.
I don't sec IL. t
Physician can't pry open those cursetlH
avs nurse can't pull the demon from you.
Neither can he be coaxed away by present
ing a beefsteak, not surprised into Relation
ofmaxillary u<cles By. throwing snuff into
his eyes. In its lexicon, rheumatism has
no such word as secession, concession or
compromise sas. .ad1sE sIriH stT
No, Let your nurse bold the dragon by
the tail. maintaining steady strain upon
the animal. and your physician shall adj
minister to You such drugs and chemicals
as will by c:srnlatingg in your blood. be
brought in contract with the monsters
teeth anu corroie them. in such manner
that they may crnrnble. one by one. until
you are freed frous him. The medicines
must be patent and the process will he
slow. The particular brand of bottled
lightning labeled Yin Colch will be found
useful. Potash. in various forms, such
ay hydro-infuriate OF Potassa. will assist
in : the continuation off the dragons
teeth. Blisters. mustard. capsicum. etc.,
may distract the pain slightly and tenn.
porarily. bur the main object is to be ac-
compiishe1 By destroying the fangs of your
sssailant.
In the .nscaa 4 ;ae yoa eelE have leisure
to study rhepn, ,iism ard its relations to
mankind During the first days Of your
illness, yon viii ID nothing bnt Rowland
roan most lnmusialiy, You viii not
swcar. bosveye rnuch given to profanity.
The obvious imp0sSibiIity Of "doing JUS
tice to the snbiect' wiii'checS anathema
standardization Aftcra fewsof the drag
on's teeth have have fallen out you will,
pcch2ps, be az c 20 pace to and fro in your
apartment like royal Bengal tiger in his
cage. z1xnttrowSyou !wlIf observe some
- &l,
shoulder Which 's'fast in the Jaws Of rheu-
matis1n2 Itfo - ens of Your attendants
seek to aiforl ynu some trifling assistance.
he is sure to lay hold of that shoulder
Does an acquaintance "happen in."9 The
manipulates that shoulder. Just to see how
lameit is. Your particular friends can
bestow their eniearments upon no other
part of your person but that shoulder. If
you are alone. pacing the floor Industrious
lysto keep of the bla.e devils, and are SO
rsadYssp aii the lsason in worrying ,yop
the furniture of the room Will soon begin
to manifest discrimination TO give you
reminder Of the extremely infamed con-
iition Of that shoulder '''' =
Look at that high backed chair, now.
You pass and repass it easily enough. to
be sure. There is no need Of allowing it
to hit-you, hut you are weak on your pins,
and in going a5ort. lee lnrch brings tie
chair plump against tkot shoulder. Again.
in your promenade around the apartment,
a door IS opened. OF course it couldn't
have been opercd without coming in con-
tact with yerr agonized person, and also.
of courss,it could hit you nowhere else
but on uat skoulder! g. "a ~
The mind of the Rheumatic patient can
not fan ia bc ssn.asedbby the muitaarity
and coltrareiy of the remedies proposed
by his friends and acsrnaintances, and their
suggestions in regard to diet. exercise, &c
They will be OF atenor similar to the fol-
lowing: -sress--s t-..
LIST Citizcn.-I advise you. my dear
friend, by all means. to beware of Colchi-
cum. Take potash, sir. Potash is the
thing.
I'd Cit.-Sir. beware Of potash. Col
chicum is the only curative.
=. Sd Cit.-Take Smiths Elixir.
4th Cit.-Take Jones' Pills. Nothing
else will do you any good. -
9th Cit.-Drink lemon juice
9th Oit-Drink nothing but aTsolution
of bicarbenate of soda-
? 1st Cit.LFoment with Cayenne pepper
and brandy. TEaTT
I'd 9it.--lipply COLI water bsniages.
Sd cit4Use nothing but cotton batting
bound upon the parts Affected ff1if
1st Cit.--Don't allow yourself to be
tempted to stir out of doors. on any ac-
count.
Sd Cit.-Excereise in the open air as
much possible.
= LIST Cit-Eat nothing but Cruel and
broth. as you wish to recover.
= 81 Cit.-Live heartily Squads, ven
-ison steak. &C., should form component
parts OF your daily meals.
And so forth.
Many of your constituents will inform
You that physicians are in vain. and that
the proper course is to eat and drink as
usual, and 90 abroad whenever your limbs
can be coaxel to perform their office.
The upshot is that you reply 20 all par
lies that your case has been handed over to
a first class meiicai practitioner, and hav-
ing thus passed out OF your hands, you
feel no particular responsibility concern
ing it. and hence no obligation to follow