The weekly mountain Democrat. [volume] (Placerville, El Dorado County, Calif.) 1861-1862, 1861-09-28
"CALL A MAN ."
Any one who is disposed to Try laugh,
will do well to read on.

Any one who is disposed to Try laugh,
will do well to read on.
John jackson was a very Industrious,
hard-working man, Of twenty three years.
Being the eldest child, and the only son,
he had always remained at home, assist
ing his father upon the farm. John was
much respected by every one in the neigh
borhoOd, and many bright.eyed girl had
secretly thought she would like to change
her name to Mrs. John Jackson. But
John was no "ladies' man" The fact
was, John was very bashful. He would
rather hoe potatoes all day, than undergo
the ceremony Of an introduction to q
. young lady. Not that John disliked
the dear creatures; far from 1t. We be-
Iieve that he, in common with oil bAShful
well.meaning men, entertained the very
highest respect and admiration for them.
And this, no doubt, was the principal
cause Of his bashfulness. He felt that
they were superior beings, and that he
was unworthy to associate with them
upon terms Of equality. But We cannot
stop to moralize.
Nancy Clark was the daughter Of very
respectable farmer, whose lands I'D djoined
the. jackson farm. Nancy was q pretty,
saucy little witch, and she liked John
Jackson. When they were children they
attended the same school, and az he was
a few years her senior, was usually her
champion in the childish disputes that
arose, and her companion in going and
returning. At last, John became so much
Of young man as to be kept from school,
as she had been in past years. John dis
covered, too, that he had been growing in
stature, and it seemed as if he had been
growing out Of shape. His feet and legs
appeared very awkward; he didn't know
what to do with his hands; his face pain.
ed him, and, taking all in oil, he was in
clincd to think he was not more than half
put together.
Now, the truth was. John jackson was
really finc-looking young man, and no.
thing but his admiration Of Nancy could
have suggested any such foolish thoughts
about himself.
AS noveliSts say, it was lovely day in
August. The heavens we're clear, serene
and beautiful, the trees were laden with
golden fruit, and the beautiful birds twit-
tered their songs Of love in the branches
Earth-(there, we've slid down to earth
once more; such lofty fights, they make
our head dizzy We were about to say
that "earth had yielded her bountiful
harvest Of years grass, and clover. and
hOneysuckles, which the noble yeomanry
of Chesterville had garnered within their
storehouses"-but, upon second thought,
have concluded to word it thus: The
farmers Of Chesterville were done having" -"
John Jackson's sister had q quilting
that afternoon. His father had gone to
"keth's Mill" to get some wheat ground,
and John was left to repair some tools, to
be ready on the morrow to commence
moving the meadow grass. Suddenly il
occurred to John that If he remained
about the house in the afternoon, he would
be called in at tea.time and required t. do
the honorS Of the table. TO avoid this,
he quietly shoullered his Scythe and stole
away to the meadow, half mile distant,
fully resolved that he would not leave
there until il was so dark that he could
not see to NOV, and thus avoid seeing the
girls.
The meadow was surrounded on all
sides by thick forrest, which cffectually
shut out what little brcczes there might
be stirring. The sun poured its rays as
though the little meadow was the focus
point where the heat was concentrated.
John moved and sweat-Swcat and NOW
ed, until he was obliged to sit down and
cool off, Then it occurred to John that
if he took of his pants, no might be
much more comfortable. There could be
no imprOpriety in it, for he was entirely
concealed from observation, and there was
not the slightest reason to suppose that
he could be seen by any person.
So John stripped of, and with no cover
save his linen-cOmmOnl called shirt
he resumed his work. He was just con.
gratHlating himself upon the good time he
was having, and the lucky escape he had
made from meeting the girls, when he
chancei to disturb huge black snake, a
genuine twister, with white ring around
| its neck.
John was no coward, but he was NOR
tally afraid Of snake. "SelEprcserva-
ton" was the first "passage" that flashed
upon Johns mind, and "legs take=eare
Of the body" was the next. Dropping
his scythe, and spinning round like top,
he was ready to strike $40 gait, when
at that moment the snake was near enough
to hook his crooked teeth into Johns
shirt, just above tho hem. With tire.
mendous spring, he started off with the
speed Of q locomotive. His first jump
took the snake clear from the ground, and
as John stole a hasty glance over his
shoulder, he was horritied to find the rep
tile securely fastened to the extremity Of
his garment; while the speed with which
he rushed forward kept the serpent ex.
tended at an angle Of ninety degrees with
his body.
Here was q quandary. II no stopped,
the snake would coil about his body and
squeeze him to death; IL he continued
the race, he'd soon fall, from sheer CX-
haustiOn. On he flew, scarce daring to
think how his dreadful race was to end.
Instinctively he had taken the direction
of home, when q feeling of security came
over him. Suddenly flashed across his
mind the true state Of atfairs-his father
gone-the quilting-and, worst of all, the
0irls! This new horror sent the blood
back, curdIing about his neck, and he
came to dead halt. The next moment
he felt the body Of the cold. clammy mon.
ster in contact with his bare legs, his tail
creeping around them in a sort Of Dozen
ing way, as though his snakeship only
meditated little fun, by way Of tickling
John upon the knees.
This was too much for human endur.
ance. With q yell, such as man never
utters save when in mortal terror, poor
John again set forward at break neck
pace, and once more had the pleasure Of
seeing the snake resume his horizontal
position, somewhat after the fashion Of
the tail Of q comet.
On, on they few John forgot the
quilting, forgot the girls, forgot every
thing but the snake.
His active exercise, The paid particular
attention to his running,l together with
the excessive heat, had brought on the