Pomeroy weekly telegraph. [volume] (Pomeroy, Meigs County, Ohio) 1860-1866, 1861-02-15
RED VS.. BRINDLE.
BY HATTIE TYING.

I hope you did not wish me to be sur
prised at that little piece of information.
IF you ever really want to astonish all
of your friends, in a manner which will
really be alarming, do you wish to know
how to accomplish it?''
"If it is scheme Of yours, it will un-
doubtedly be brilliant one=-at least
iu your opinion; SO proceed to unfold
"AlI you have to do, Tom, is to re-
mark to them that you are not In a
scrape!"
Ned lodged a volume of Webster S
quarto, while Tom continued, in really
doleful manner:
'But say, Ned, this is an Internal
scrape. I've done nothing less than to
promise to marry girl ] never set eyes
on, on the face Of the earth What do
you say to that?'
\ Has much flirting made you mad
you confirmed reprobate? thought,
among my earlies instructions to you,
after you entered this lawyers den, was
to keep out of that everlasting pickle
Whatever else you do, never promise to
marryE
''But the job is done now, Ned; and
al you te got to do is, is to reserve your
lecture till it is desired And now to
devise some ihears to extricate me from
my dilemma!'
,:Model of impddenct proceed to
state the case"
"Well, Ned, let me sectr5 your atten
tion i'll the first place, by observing,
that if your wits are successful in de.
] yising scheme to suit me, I'll make
over that bobtail bay you say so much
about, to you, to have and to hold for
evermore. And now you know, believe
without telling, that I've been CORES
ponding for the last year with a lady--Mis'
Madge Arnold-whom | have never
seen, the correspondence having beer
brought about by friend, in way you
understand. And you know, also, my
dear Ned, that it is about as impossible
for me to write to lady without ma
king love to her, as it is for me to talk
to one without doing so-which, yor
know, has been set down by my friends
to be one of the absolute impossibilities
and so, as a matter of course, the letters
have grown sweeter, until maple molas
ses is nothing near the least of them!'
"And what has been the style Of this
young lady 5 epistles?'
GA perfect echo of mine. If |, BY
chance, made a sensible sentence, she
returned me two, twice as sensible; If
told her 1 loved her, she replied tina
she was literally dying of a consuming
love-which l wish to Heavens hac
been the case; for it might have con
sumed her before 1 had made con
founded donkey of myself"
"You would, perhaps, like to have q
case of spontaneeis combustion recorded
in the journals of the country? Is that
what | am to understand you to NEAR
by wishing to have the young lady con
sumed?'
s'There will be case Of bast-ion of a
different kind, if something don't occu
to remove her from this mundane sphere
for l VOW III be busted if I'm going tt
tie myself to a bag Of whalebone at this
time of life. Only think, Ned, what
sacrifice it would be! l get married, in
deed Especially to lady who woule
agree to marry me, never having seel
me in my life. I'm of the opinion
was laboring uuder a temporary insan
ity when l promised to marry con
founded woman?'
"You would not be likely to promis
to marry anything unless it was wo
man, my dear Adonis, unless, indeed, i
. was horse-which, | believe, are tn
$ only things which distract your atten
: tion from the fair ones!'
well, to be sure, Ned, my prayer
ever since l was old enough to say one
has been for that universal love whic
teaches US to love all womankind; and
grant you that the prayer has been al
swered-and, by the way, it is the onl
one. And yet, much as 1 love the Sc
in general, l haven't the remotest ide
of trusting my life, my fortune, and m
R sacred honor to the keeping of any pal
D ticular one Of them
/ "Your fortune, particularly, pr
sumo you mean!'
"Ahem! I'm afraid there'll be pr
cious little Of it left to intrust to an
one, if those hosses continue to be sue
J duced expense. And that is anoth
strong reason why can't fulfill my s.
cred promise to Miss Madge Arno
and make her the happiest of wome
by making myself the most miserab
,, Of men. My wife must have fortun
and it is not at all probable that Mi
Arnold has more than nine shillings
ready money. And she would probab
e. want new hoop skirt, or some kind
rigging before she'd been married
:. month. These women are expensi