Democrat and sentinel. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1853-1866, 1861-07-10
Gbinqs dalise anO 0tBrrplss.

To see how hard man slrlheS-ieAi hi'i AZ
is liar.
To keep your poor relatives from trouohns yo"
Commit suicide
To keep from being dry-Stand out III the
rain.
To do away with srectacles-Put your eyes
out.
To see if girl is amiabie-Iear her dress in
ball room.
To get the frost on: Of your fngers-Put them
in hot water
To prevent headache when getting sober
keep drunk
Misery loves company, and 50 does marriage
able young lady.
Half million packs of cards are made annu-
ally in London.
The man who confines himself 10 the drink best
for him is ,cell supplied
To make a nice iam-Lay your head under
descending pile driver
To have tarts for tea-let your wife see you
kiss the waiting maid. sure thing!
To tell if YOU love girl-Have some shallow
headed chap go and see her.
The farewell of some wives to their husbands
every morning-bay and buy
Kaman cheats you once, blame him; if Sc
cond time, blame yourself.
There is a house in Paris which sells annually
half million pairs OF WOOIeLi SIOSS'
Camphor has been discovered 20 be an antidote
to that terrible poison, strychnlne.
He who never gives advice, and he who never
takes it, are alike unworthy OF frien0ShIp-
A piano affords young lady good chance to
show her lingering and her finger ring.
II makes a great difference whether glasses
are used over or under the nose.
The man who follows the sea thinks he shall
;+b n ono Of these daVS.
Wbv i a solar eclipse ike a woman beating
her boy ?-Because it is hiding of the sun.
Touchy people of all classes are apt to wear
spectacles of the highest magnifying power.
As a man drinks he generally grows reckless;
in this case, the more drains the fewer scruples.
lover NAV imagine himself discarded when
he sees another's name on the wedding cards
Gentlemen who smoke allege that it makes
them calm and complacent
Cure for a felon-Take piece of rope, ten
feet long and-hang the rascal
WHY is an arithmetician like a dog with lame
leg ? Because he puts down three and carries
one.
The most direct method of determining horse
pOwer-stand behind and tickle MS hind legs with
brlar.
Excessive indulgence to others, especially to
children, is, in fact only selflndulgence under
an alias.
To the man of strong will and giant energy,
possibilities become probabilities. and probabili-
ties certainties.
The human heart, like a well, if utterly closed
in from the outer world, is sure to generate
atmosphere OF death.
If you are looking at picture you try to give
it good light. Be as courteous to Your fellow
creatures as you are to a picture.
A notorious aboitionist announces that he will
lecture ON the gallows. The Louisville Journal
hopes he will get the hang of his subject.
Fun is worth more than physic, and whoever
invest or discovers source OF supply deserves
the name of public benefactor.
Blessed is he who dies in the flower Of youth
il is as if he had risen from the midst of feast
before he was intoxicated.
4 recent philosopher discovers a method to
avoid being dunnedl GLOW ?-how ?-how ?''
everybody asks. NeUer run into debt.
An Irish lover remarked that it is great plea
sure to be alone, especially when your 1" sweet
heart is wild ye."
A quack advertises a compound that will cure
everything. from bad character down to bad
temper.
Don't be in too big a hurry, girls, to fall in
love with the young men. 1t often happens
that your hearts are no sooner theirs than theirs
are no longer yours.
counsel being questioned by Judge to know
L" for whom he was concerned replied, - | am
concerned for the plaintiff, but l am employed by
the defendant"
A fellow charged in an Indictment with steal
ing hoe, discharged upon trial, it being
proved that the article taken was an The
matter regular no ar.
.'John, how 1 wish it was as much the fash
ion to trade in wives as to trade in horses !''-
..Why so. Dick 20 % I'd cheat somebody mos
shockingly before night"
Sometimes ON musing upon genius in its sim
pier manifestations, it seems if the greatest o
human culture consisted chiefly in preserving the
glow and freshness of the heart.
In most quarrels, there is a fault on both sides
Both flint and steel are necessary 20 the produc
tion of a spark either of them may hammer OF
wood forever, and no fire will follow.
1t is stated that a new kind of silk. of a coars,
quality, but strong and abundant, is being OBJ
tanned in France from a worm which thrives il
the japanese acacia, free growing tree.
A letter from Paris states that a new color ha!
been discovered, producible from coal tar. 1t i
called dianthine, and varies from deep purpl,
to all the shades of bright rose-coior.
Always be at work for the attainment of al
object. If the object itself is not important, tFt
pursuit Is The fox. when caught, is worth no
thing; he is followed for the pleasure of the fol
lowing.
With time and patience the mulberry leaf be
comes satin What difficulty is there a. which :
man should quail. when worm can accom-
plish 50 much from the leaf of the mulberry
tree q?
Joy is heightened by exultant strains Of music
but grief is eased only by low ones. "a sweet
sad measure'' is the balm of wounded spirit
Music lightens toll. The sailor pulls more cheer
lily for his song.
a little girl of four years old was recently call
ed As a witness in a pOlice court and IN anSVp,
to the question as to what became of little girl.
who told lies, she innocenuy replied that they
were sent to bed.
ANECDoTE.-Some twenty years 400 a farm: