The weekly pioneer and Democrat. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. Territory) 1855-1865, 1861-05-31
"We are cum, sir, upon matter of doc.

"We are cum, sir, upon matter of doc.
you're right, captin its every mans
dooty to visit my show sed |.
We are cum D.
"And that's the reason you are," sez l.,
lariu one of my silvery larfs. l thawt il
be wanted to goak I'd give him sum of my
sparklin eppygrams.
Sir, you're inserlent. The plain ques-
tion is, will you haul down the star span.
gled banner and hist the Southern flag ?"
Nary hist !" Those was my reply.
"Your wax works and beests is then
con6sticated, & you air arrested as spy )"
Sez l." My fragrant roses of the South
ern cline and blooming daffodils, what's the
price of whisky in this town, and how
macy cubic feet of that seductive aooid can
you individooally hold"
They made no reply to that, but sed my
wax figgers was cOntisticated. l aXed them
if that was ginerally the stile among thieves
in that country, to which they also made
and must go to Montgomery in iuns. They
was by this time jined by large crowd of
other Southern patrits, who cOmmencst hOl-
lerin, ," Hang the bald headed aberlitionist,
and bust up his immoral exhibition !" l
was ceased and tied to stump, and the
crowd went Tor my tent-that waterproof
pavilion, wherein instruction and amOose.
ment had been so muchly combined, at 15
cents per head-and tore 1t all to pieces.
Meanwhile dirty faced boys was THROWN
sturs and empty beer bottles at my massiv
brow, & takin other improper liberties
with my person. Resistance was useless,
for variety of reasons, as readily OBJ
sarved.
The Seseshers coniscated my statoots by
smashin them to attums. They then went
to my money box and confsticated all the
loose change therein contained. They then
went and burst in my cages, letting all the
animiles loose, small but healthy tiger
among the rest. This tiger has a eXcentric
way of tearing dogs to pieces, and alters
| sposed from his glneral conduck that he'd
have no heitashun servin human beins in
the same way if he could git at them. Ex-
cuse me if l was crooel, but larfed boys
terrusy when see that tiger spring in
among the peple. Go it, my sweet cuss."
inardly exclaimed, 81 forgiv you for bitin
of my left thum with all my heart! Rip
em up like bully tiger whose lare has
been invaded by Seseshurs v'
can't say for certin that the tiger seris-
ly injured any of them, bat as he was seen
a few days after sum miles distant, with a
large and we'll selected assortment of seats
of trOwsls in bis mouth, and as he lOokt IS
tho hid bin havin sum vilent exercise, |
rayther guess he did. You will therefore
perceive that they didn't contsticate him
much.
was carrid to Montgomery in iuns and
placed in durans vial. The ali was Or
neary edifss, but the table Was literally
supplied with Bakin and Cabbidge. This was
good variety, for when l didn't banker
after Bakin l could help myself to the Cab
bidge.
had nobody to talk to nor nothin to talk
about, however, and l was very lonely,
specially on the first day, so when the jaer
parst my lonely sell, | put the few stray
hairs on the back part of my he'd I'm bald
now, but there was time when wore sweet
auburn rngiets) into as dish-hevild state as
possible, & rollin my eyes like manyyuck, l
crlde: "Stay, jaler, stay! | am not mad, but
soon Shall be if you don't bring me suthin
to Talk" He brung me sum newspapers,
for which thanked him kindly,
AT larst got interview with Jefferson
Davis, the President of the Southern Con-
thieveracY. He was quite perlite, and axed
me to sit down and state my case. did
it, when he laried and sed bis gallant men
had bin a little too enthusiastic in confis-
ticatin my show.
Eyes" sez |, ,"they confscated me too much
ly. had sum hosses cOn6sticated in the
same way onct, but the confticaters air
now poundn stun in the States Prison at
Injinnapylus."
"Wall, wall, Mister Ward, you air at
liberty to depart; you air friendly to the
South l know. Even now we have many
frens in the North who sympathize with US,
and won't mingle with this fight"
81. Davis, there's your great mistaik.
Many OF us was your sincere friends, and
thought certin parties among US was fussin
about you and meddlin with your consarns
intierly too much. But j. Davis, the mint
you fire gun at the piece of dry goods
called the Star Spangled Banner, the North
gifts up and rises en- massy, in defense of
that banner. Not agin you as individooals
NOT agin the South even-but to save the
flag. We should indeed be weak in the
knees, unsound in the heart, milk white in
lie liver, and soft in the he'd, if we stood
quietly by and saw this glorus Govyment
smashed to pieces either by furrin or a
intestine foe. The gentleharted mother
hates to take her naughty child across her
knee, but she knows it is her dooty to do it.
So we shall hate to whip the naughty South,
but we must do it if you don't make back
tracks at onct, and we shall wollop you out
of your boots! j. Davis, it is my decided
opinion that the SOuny South is maxim