Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1861-11-30
Fact, Fancy and Fun.
Pay all that thou owest.

-Oftentimes the most costly thing
we get is that which is given u.s.
Not every man who dives into the
sea OF matrimony brings up Reall.
Don't touch me, or I'll scream!" as
the engine ewhistle said TO the stoker.
1t is to oe supposed that soldier
will be raw until he is exposed to fire,
Education is at home a friend,
abroad an introduction, in solitude q
solace.
A fly in mans butter is decided
ly the least pleasant of all kinds Of but
terhies.
When is a flock of sheep like our
climate ?-When it is composed of all
wethers.
i most impudent of all thingsis
a a mirror, for it is continually il casting re-:
tlections.
The man whose word can ALWAYS
be depended upon is sure to be always
honored.
BE calm while your adversary frets
and RACES, and you can warm yourself
at his fire.
Pride is the first weed to grow IN
the human heart, end the last to By
eradicated.
They say that justice isn't sold in
our courts; but those wing try to obtain
it often are.
IF the child is not braEght up right,
can it be expected that he will be ali
upright man?
--Topays who travel about with red
noses should be indicted for circulating
incendiary articles.
He who knows his own ignorance
is the poSsessor of the rarest kind of
valuable knowledge:
If you would sleep sweetly, and
like Christian, untormented by the
nightmare-pay the printer. -
If sleep flies from you, don't 60 in
hot pursuit Of it; lie still, and # will
PiooaDly oo!ftF t+iip hE'S VI:
Armies should be public spirited,
yet each soldier should occasionally at
tend to his own private gins.
--"Too late" and "no moren are the
mournful sisters, children Of sire
whose age they never console.
Why is an Invalid cured by sea-
~. 4 II
cause he is sea-cured lsecured.)
If brooks are, as the poet calls
them, the most joyous things in nature,
vh2tare they always murmuring abouts
To make girl love yqp, coax her
10 love somebody else. II there be
that woman relishes, it is to
be contrary.
-"Tell your mistress that I've torn
the curtain" said q lodger to the ser,
want. every well, sir, mistress will set
it down as extra rent"
An Irish stationer, after .advertis:
ing variety Of articles, gives the fol-
lowing potq be,ae: "To regular custo-
mers I " Ill sell waters gratis.'
The famous William Penn had
scape- grace relation, whom his punping
contemporaries described as pen thai
had bcen soften cut, never mended."
Il have one request to make Of
you, my dear Mr.. Grant, "My dear
widow, will grant anything you say.'
s:WeU. | want to be Granted myseif.n
ssNVho is that young gentleman
who looked at you SO .esrncstly?' said
fond husband 70 his recently n arYie4
wife. 'SThat is NY late ANsbolad, DEAR"
answered she.
q say, boy, is there anything TO
shoot about here ?" Inquired sports
man of boy he met. SWELL" was
the reply, ''nothing just about here
but the .schoolmaster is down tie b,il
yonder-you can pop Kim over"
"A lady making inquiries of boy
about bis father, ap Incorporate man,
who haa been sick for some time, ask
eG whether he had regaincd his appe-
tite. NO ma'am," said the boy, mot
exactly; his appetite is very poor, but
his drinkatite is as good as ever"
-Henlietta,'' said landlord to his
new cid, s:when there's bad news from
Washington, or any bad news, Partic-
ularly private affections, always let the
boarders know it before dinner. 1t may
seem strange to You, Henrietta, but
such little things make great differ
ence in eating in the course of ayear,"