Daily Ohio statesman. [volume] (Columbus, Ohio) 1855-1870, 1861-05-26
From Vanity Fair.
From vanity fhr.
Ariemus Ward i'm tho South-His
Trials and Adventures.


had a narrer scape from the sonny South.
"The swings aud arrers of outrajus fortin," !" al
luded to by Hamlick, warn't nothin' in compar
ison 10 my trubles. came pesky near swearin
sum profanel oaths more'n onct, but / hope
didn't do It, for I've promist she whose name
shall be nameless Except that her initials 10
Betsy J.) that I'll jine the Meetin House at
Baldinsville jest as soon as can scrape money
enuf together so can ford to be piuss in good
stile, like my welthy nabers. But If I'm confs
Gated agin I'm ffaid shall continner on In my
present benited state for some time.
Ifggered conspicyusly in many thrillin scenes
in my tower from Montgomry to my humsted,
and on sevril occasions thought "the CRATE
komic paper" wouldn't never be inriched no
more with my lubrications. Arter biddin adoo
to jefferson D., started Tor the depo. paw q
niger sittin on fence playin on banjo
"My Afrikin Brother" sed /, cotin from
Track onct red, "yoa belong to a very interest.
In race. Your master is goin to war excloosive
|ly on your account"
"Yes, boss" he replied, "an wish 'em bon
orable gravesm and be went on playn the baDjo,
laran ell over, and openin his mouth vide enuff
to drive in an old fashioned wheeled chaise.
The train of cars In which I was to trust my
wallerble life was the scalest, rickytes, lookin'
lot Of consarns that ever saw on wheels be-
fore. "What time does this string Of second
hand cofins leave2' inquired Of the depot
master. He sed dreckly, and went in and sot
down. hadn't more'n fairly squatted, afore q
dark lookin man, with swinister expression onto
his countensnce, entered the cars, and lookin'
very sharp at me, he asked what was my prin.
ciples7
"Secesh" anserd. "I'm Dissoluter. I'm
In favor of JEFF. Davis, Bouregard, Pickens,
Capt. Kidd, Bloobeard, Munro Edards, the
devil, Mrs. Cunningham, and oil the rest of
'em."
"You're In favor of the war2" !
"Certingly. By all means. I'm In favor of
this war, and also Of the next war. I've been
in favor of the next for over sixteen years."
"War to the knife!" sed the man.
"Blud, Fargo, ,bludw sed I, tho them words isn't
with me. Them words was rt by
who is ded. His Mantle fell onto
the author of "The Seven Sisters" who's goin
to have Spring overcoat made out of 1t.
We got under way at larst, an proceeded on
our jerney at about the rate of speed which Is
ginerally obsarved BY properly conducted funer
al PROFESSIONS A hansum yung gal, with red
bar on the back part Of her he'd, and
sassy little black hat tipt over her forrerd, sot
N n tne seat WIN me. one wore little secesh
nag PIN q onto ner na.' ana sne was goin TO ner
troo loye; VINO naa llned tne so1tnern army,
ana 30 poiu anu % gay. 90 sue .oiu me. one
was cniiy anu onereu ner my pianhe''
ra'ner nvinf aAeu' r 1f' 'H-
es SIT
"Got any uneieaT ,.,,
"a neap. gnSle M nuomas Is oed' tno.
resce 70 Uncle Inomss asnes, ana success
70 nlm' = VIII % your oncle inomas. Lean
on me, my ptesy SeSesner, anu hnger IN oiisf-
iui repo'ef sne nep. as secooriy as In her
own ncusen, ana oun olssuro 'ne soilum stili'
ness ., .ue nlgns WIN sry snore'
At the hrst station troop OF Sojers entered
tho oars and inquired II "oid wax Works, was
on bored. mat was the dlsresPectlv stile 10
when tney feierred 70 me. becawE II oid
wax WORKS Is on poreo, see man with o lace
IKE 1ounle'Drestea iooster' "we are gong tol
hang oid wax Wosks" -,
my illustrious ana patriotic bummers" see
|, gitin up anG tahln OH my ShapPoo, III
you Aluoe 20 a. ware, iss my pIeasin dooty 70
niorm you tnas nes dea' ne saw the error OF
MS Ways ~ 40 minlss past yeeterdsy, ana stso'
BED nisseit witn stunea siedstske, dyin In nve
oeaunlai taDloos 70 SLOW moosic! his last
Words was' 'My pefiesnernai career IS over!
erk no more. .,
hno VINO pe yoe
I'm s.oooen1 10 senator ben)amihs law
'nss; I'm goln up WORM 70 steai sum spoons
ano tninRaIor tne Sutheln army rf
Thls was satisfactory, and the intocsicated
troopers went orr. At the next station the
nfAitV little SeCegher AWOko and aA1 aha muat