Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1861-10-10
The Man who knows Everything.

A mighty knowing man was Caleb Page,
who kept the grocery at the fork of the road,
near WOodchuck Creek, Sprag Hollow, in
the village of HOrnvlle No occurrence had
taken place, of all the particulars of which
Caleb did not possess a thorough knowledge
in the minutest detail All matters in the
prospective were anticipated. discussed, arran-
ged aud satisfactorily disposed of by Caleb
long before they took place. If a Deighbor
rushed into the store 10 commune ate what he
believed to be q very recent piece of news,
he would have the conceit taken out of him
by being told by Caleb that he "had heard
of it week ago" Events of the past pres.
ent and future were all the same to him his
Ubiquitous knowledge graSped and covered them
ALTO him they were all a. stale news
A small bet was made one evening betw cen
81 Stevens and Joe Stubbius. ST bet Joe
couldn't nonpluS Caleb with Pny piece of intel
ligence-real or imaginary. Joe took all such
bets as that
The following evening ST and Joe, accompa-
MED BY two or three more OF the boys" of
the village who were TO help the thing along,
and " fill in," proceeded to Caleb's store
After being comfortably seated here and there
on boxes, barrels &c, 81 opened the evenings
amusement by asking in manner that indica-
ted he was continuing a coyersatiOn commenc-
eI before they had entered the store
" So you say, J0e they have caught him at
last
Yes, Sir, about seventeen minutes after
eight"
Well. Joe, how far mp the creek was it -
On careful consideration, should say it
was about three miles, or three miles aud a
half up the creek"
Caleb, VINO had not lost 8 word of the con-
yersaliou, dropped his sugar scoop wiki aston
i>hmeuJ aud opened his ears for the boys
were talking about matter in which he was
not posted up"
The conversation continued
Well" says s.. that couldn't been far
from Deacon Hunts"
" jest So" answered Joe, 1t was about
eighty ROD, from Deacon Hunts hog pen, in a
>.arca wise direction
d" D.d y0u hear. Joe" with face as solid
as grave stone, " bow much lie they got p
' Yes, l did replied Joe, with another
..aa as solid as two graveS;oDeS, 90 l heard that
.aer Tot nigh abu1t sixty berIs Of lie
The wa-s observed tha; Caleb was getting
exceedingly -4a. asy a1l Piled it on
Ng.t. Joe. aaw .uas ~as She reptile =
" " p. \ tla insect Eas about -gtytwO
feet .cuS sud tver'y-eishg odd inches broad
l-.ck 20 proportion"
d" ,-o4glt, Jyg, :as; there aas . pair on
EN- =
d" That's fact, :here was two on en- but
they on IS caught TIE be one"
A. this p-.a- o. -te 65a .e-ge Caleb ha-aDe
80 desperately excited that De could contain
himself DO longer, ami snappi>5ly demanded
20 kuoE what in the thunder they were
,a.ksm. about g.
Way sad Joe, with well fejsnsd aston
i>hmenc don, YOU know about their catch
lrg that are"
:. That are what p snar]e5 Caleb.
Way, that are whale - seriously al
swered Joe.
4 whale - exclaimed the bewildered Ca
eb. Have they caught that whale up the
creek ?"
They bavn't caught anything else" said
the inperlurable Joe.
" And how much lie did they get :" inquired
Caleb a. be recovered his wits
" NineJy-two barI<,7 SAID Joe, forgetting
the amount he had previously mentioned.
Well" said Caleb with slow de.ibcration,
and 4 satisfied Ioo6, In glad they caught
hin, for beard they were srter him