Lamoille newsdealer. [volume] (Hyde Park, Vt.) 1860-1877, 1861-06-07

Anegro, on being examined. was asked
if his master was a Christian. "No, sir,
he is a politician was the reply.
'If I should be drafted into the service
what should you do? SAID a gentleman
to his wife lately. ''Get a substitute for
youl suppose was the reply; whereupon
the worse half changed the subject of con-
versation. Pa
How OUR GRANDMoTHERs Used TO LIVE.
AN old lady relating how she got along
raising her family of thirteen children
half a century ago, says Il used to milk
the COW while holding a child a few
months old in my lap, while the next
older stood upon my dress to keep its bare
feet off the dewy grass" She also added:
81 never had but one silk dress, which
was procured by my father giving me flax
to spin and weave init cloth to sell, the
proceeds of which should be appropriated
to the purchase of q silk dress. / pur-
chased the dress at Southampton, at $3.50
per yard, and paid in my flax cloth at
thirty-three ceuts."-How would the
young ladies of our day like this?
A cotemporary, noticing the appoint
ment Of a friend as Postmaster, says.
''If he attends to the mails as well as he
does to tue females, he will make a very
efficient officer"
According to the articles of war it is
death to stop a cannon ball.
In the game oflife men most frequently
play the KNAvE, and women the DEUCE.
A bashful printer refused a situation
in a printing-ofice where females are en-
ployed, saying he never set up with a
girl in his life.
EVEN if a woman had as many locks
upon her heart as she has upon her head,
a cunning rogue wodld find his way into
it.
DRILLING.-A captain of a rife compa-
ny was guilty of an unheard-ot barbarity
on a cold day last winter. He actually
marched his men to the very brink of the
canal, and then coolly commanded them
to fall in"
Enthusiastically die old maids,
They set such value on themselves, that
they don't find purchaser until the mar
ket is closed.
Sg' Sydney Smith, that wise and witty
person, somewhere remarks in his many
spicy, talks Country life is very
good in fact the best-for cattle; but as
for me, | must have society,""
Egg' Several months since, while travel
ing on the Virginia and Tennessee rail-
road. when they stopped at Princes Tank,
we overheard the following conversation
between a young gentleman from Georgia,
who was on the train, and a small boy in
the road: aIa
Passenger" Young America, what
place is this
Boy-"Pin Hook, sir" es 9
Pass What do the ears stop for?"
Boy-'To take in water"
Pass" What river is that ?" pointing
to the water in the ditch,
Boy-"I don't know
Pass" What do you know"
Boy-"I know the cars bring lots Of
darncd fools along this way" The young
gentleman drew his head in and was soon
fast asleep. @
NATIONAL HYMN WANTED.-Here is a
cinance for the poets. A committee of
New Workers, consisting of Gulian G. YER
planck, Charles King, Hamilton Fish,
George VIM. Curtis, Richard Grant White,
Luther Bradish, John A. Dix. Moses H.
Grinnell and others, announce that a prize
of five hundred dollars will be awarded
for a national hymn, which must be, not
a war song, but purely patriotic to con-
sist of not less than sixteen nor more than