Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1861-02-14
Wit aa0 Dnmpr.
I'D GIVE YOU NY HEAET.

1t my heart were worth giving, I'd give II to thes
Bnt troublesome thing you'd find il;
AT least If it troubles you as It does me,
You'd have plenty to do to mind 1t.
'iis ever eIacting, ne'er willing to give,
int giving, oft where 'tis uc, willing;
Now loving, now hating each day that live,
'Fio my life with perplezity filing.
Yet sometimes ] think, if an owner il had.
Who knew how to manage its feelings
d give /, up Willingly nay I'd be glad
To be freed from such difficult dealiDgr.
IT! compromise thus, If yon'r able to win II,
The articles yours or rather FIN IL,
You're welcome to all the loose trash there 10
But and my hear. go together. JENNIE.
-------sses.-----
PFC JoKE.-We had hearty laugh tho
other day, at hearing friend tell Of man
VINO was attempting to put yoke OH a pig.
lie had cornered the grunter in o room hav-
ing glazed window. when the animal. be-
lievlng they were preparing to infringe upon
It's full FREEDOM, went with N single bound
through the window.
"Drait it., said the old man looking sftor
him n moment. ave got your dimensions
anyhow-seven by nine exactly"
IRISH VITA lawyer built an Office In
Tho form of m hezagon or six square. The
novelty Of the structure attracted the atten-
ticn of some Irishnlen who were passing by;
they made full stop and viewed it critically.
The lawyer, somewhat disguised at their Gu
riosity lifted up the window, put hs head
out and addressed them -
What do you stand there gazing at my
office for-do You think it's church 2
Tax, said one Of them, 81 was thinking
50, till | saw the devil poke his head oa. OF
the windy
Mrs. PARTINdToy says that when she
was gal she used to 60 to parties, and al
ways had n beau to extort her home. Blu.
now says she, the gals undergo all sorts Of
declvities; the task Of .xtorting them home
revo!ves on their dear selves The old lady
drew down her specs, and thanked her starr
that she lived in other days, when men could
deprecate the worth Of the female sex.
PRENTICE says that the snake has been
quite appropriately adopted as the device on
the secession banner. 1t ia the shape which
the Devil took to cause tie loss Of Paradise
to our race.
A gentleman just married. told Foote tha,
he had that morning laid out three thousand
pounds in jewels for his dear wife. 'Sho is,
truly. your dear wife, replied the wit.
As man drinks no generally becomes
reckless; in bis case, the more drams the few
er scFuples.
AN OLD COUNT paid his addresses to rich
heiress. On asking her hand in marriage, he
frankly said to her, 'Madamoiselle, am very
old, and ycu are very young will you do mo
the favor to become my widow +
An inkeeper observed position with on
ly one spur and inquired the reason. why
what would be the use of another . said tho
position. If one side Of the horse goes;
the other can't stand still"
A SOLDIER who was once wounded in bat
tie, set up u terrible believing. An Irish
man who laid near bin, with both legs sho,
Of, Immediately sung out Bad luck to tho
likes Of ye do ye think that nobody is kilt
but yourscii
ngFTLENAG net another in the street who
was i'll ..of consumption, and accosted him
Tins 'Ah my friend, you walk exceedingly
slow. Yes replied tho sick man, but /
am going very fst'
A GAERULocs For who had annoyed, By
his ftivolus remarks, his partner in the ball.
room among other empty things. asked the
lady II she ever had her ears pierced 2 NO
was the reply; but l have often had them
bors1 ,