Raftsman's journal. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1854-1948, 1861-10-02
VOL. S.----N0. 5.

"No, sir. But bleeve in morality. like
wise beeve in Meetin Houses Show me
| place where there isn't any Meetin Houses and
where preachers is never seen, and I'll show
| you place where old hats air stuffed into bro
ken wirders, where, where the children air
dirty and ragged, where gates have no hinges,
where the wmin air sipshod, and where maps
1 of the DEVILS sswild land'' air painted upon
mems shirt -bosums with tobacco jooce That's
what I'll show you. Let US consider what the
| preachers do for US before we aboose'em.
lie sed he didn't mean to aboose the clergy
Not at ALL and he was happy to see that was
interested in the Bonypart family.
''lt's CRATE family sed l. fBut they
| scooped the old man in.''
ssHow, sir 10
ssNapoeon the Grand. The Brtishers
scooped him at Waterloo. He wanted to do
too much and he did it They scooped him
in at Waterloo, and he subsekently died at
st. Heleny There's where the gratest mill
tary man this world ever produced pegged out.
1t was rather hard to consne such man as
him to st. Heleny, to spend his larst days In
catchin mackeril, and walkin up and down the
dreary beach in military cloak drawn titely
round him (see picter boOks), but so IT was.
s.Hed of the Army 20 Them was his larst
words. So he had bin. He was crate Don't
wish We had pair of his old boots to COM
mand sum of our Brigades 20
This pleased Jerome, and he took me warm
ly by the hand
ssAleXander the Crate was puukins,' con-
tnnered, s'but Napoleon was punkinser Alic
wept becaws there was no mole worlds to
scoop, and then took to drinkn. He drown
did his sorrers in the fiowin bole, and the flow
in bole was too much for him. 1t ginrally is.
He undertook to give snake exhibition in
his boots, but it killed him. That was bad
joke for Alc 20
ssSince you air so solctous aboct France,
and the Emperor, may l ask you how your
own country is getting along ?'' sed Jerome,
in pleasant voice.
ssIt's mxed,'' sed. HBut / think we shall
cum out all right.''
ssColumbus, when he dskivered this mag
nifcent continent, could hav had no idee of
the grandeur it would one day assoom," scd
the Prints.
ssIt cost Columbus twety-thousand dollars
to fit out his explorin expedition sed L. ssIf
he had bin sensible man he'd hav put the
money in hoss railroad or gas company,
and left this magnificent continent to the in
telligent savages, who, when they got hold of
good thing knew enuff to keep 1t, and who
wouldn't hav seeded nor rebelled, nor knoc't
Liberty in the he'd with slungshot. Colum
bus wasn't much of a feller, after all. II
would hav bin money in my pocket if he'd
staid to home. Chris. ment well, but he put
his foot in 1t when he sailed for America.'
We talked sum more about matters and
things, and at larst riz to go. ssI will now
say good bye 90 you, noble sir, and good luck
to you. Likewise the same to Clotildy. AL
so to the gorgeous persons which compose
your SCOT. If the Emperor's boy don't like
Ivin at the Tooleries, when he gifts older, and
would like to imbark in the show bzniss, let
him come with me and I'll make a man of
him. You find us somewhat mixed, as be-
fore obsarved, but come agin next year and
you'll find US clearer nor ever. The Ameri-
can Eagle has lived too sumptuousy of late
his stummic becum foul, and he's now takin
Site emetic. That's all. We're gettin ready
to strike big blow and sure one. When
we do strike, the fur will fly and secession will
be in the hands of the undertaken, sheeted for
so deep grave that nothing short of Gabriels
trombone will ever awaken it Mind what
say. You've heard the Snowman 20
Then advisin him to keep away from the
Peter Funk auctions of the East, and the pro-
prietors of corner-lots in the West, bid him
farewell, and went away.
There was levee at Senator What's his
names, and thought I'd line in the festivi-
ties for spell. Who should | see but she
that was Sarah Watkins, now the wife Of our
Congresser, trippin in the dance, dressed up
to kill in her store close. Sarah's father used
to keep little grosery store in our town, and
she used to clerk it for him in busy times. /
was rushin up to shake hands with her when
she turned on her heel, and tossin her he'd in
a contemptuous manner, walked away from me
very rapid. "Hallo Sal,'' hollerd, "can't.
you measure me quart of them best melas-
ses 1 may want Goldfish, also 20 1 guess
this reminded her of the little red store, and
:the days of her happy childhood
But fell in with nice little gal after that,
who was much sweeter than Sally's fathers
and axed her if we shouldn't glide
in the messy dance. She sed we should, and
we Glode.
l intended to make this letter very seris,
but few goaks may have accidentally crapt
in. Never mind. Besides, l think it i'm
proves komick paper to publish COAX once
in while. Yours Muchy.
WARD, (ARTEMUs.)