Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1861-02-21
Bit au& Aumdf.

A story rs told Of Dick, darkey in Ken
tucky, who was notorious thief. 80 viscious
III this respect, chat all the thefts in the neigh
borhoed was charged on him. On one os-
casion Mr.. Jones. a neighbot Of Dick 3 mas
ter, called and said Dick must be sod out Of
that part of the country. for he had stolen
all Of his turkeys. Dicks rnaste. could moi
think so. The two, however. went into tho
field where Dick was ct work and accused
him Of the theft.
'You stole Mr.. Jonos's turkeys sa'd shs
master.
No. didn't tnassa.' replied Dick.
The master persisted.
'Well.' at length said Dick III tell yor
Bassa; didn't steal dem turkeys but last
night when went across Dir. Jones's pas
ture saw one of our rails on de fence, so
brought home the rail, and ronfouna it when
come to look, dar wns nine turkeys on de
rallf
A young lady ont West I. charged with
putting OH airs because she refused to 20 te
ball bareinpt r..1tf .a
Some newspaper than has discovered and
printed that when a woman wishes to be
very aiiectionate to her hover, she calls him
naughty man. ...- ... ... t.-.. g..
An old farmer in Ohio was anxious TO have
his pastor dismissed, and was asked the rea-
son. I've heard say. say was the reply
that a change OF pasturs make 70. calves,
and I'm for change
A Scotchman asked an Irishinan why we're
half-nrthings coined in England
The answer was: 80
To give Scotchmen an opportunity to sub
scribe to charitable associations.
Does the razor take hold well p inquired
IA darkey, who was shaving gentleman from
the country. Yes replied the customer.
with tears in his eyes. it takes hold first rate.
but It don't let go worth cent ..Y y.
Wife, lcomplainingy)-T haven't more
than third of the bed Husband, ltrium-
pbantly l-'That's all the law allows YOU
A genius entered shop and turning up
his noss at some apples in the window, ex-
claimed:
Are those apples a. for hog to eatf
don't know; try them and see. was the
reply.
The last and most unwelcome planet chill.
dren see while in their mothers arms. Wea-
nus.
The STRONGEST KIND OF HINT.-A la
dy asking gentleman to see if enc of her
rings will so on his little finger
When his cousin Charlotte Dunno was
married, Jones said, 1T was Dunno before,
Dunno while it was doing, and it was not
Dunno when it was done
When ate you gcing to commence the pork
h,,p; a1 of
had sty on his eye
Explain yourself sir, said the afflicted
gentleman.
Why, ] see that you huvo your sty quite
ready.
True, waa tho reply. and I've ono hog in
my eye now.
A correspondent of tho Journal sends to
that paper the following epitaph, which hs
says he found on II tombstone in Oxford n. II.
To Nil my friends bid adicu,
a more sudden death you never knew,
As was leading the old marc to drink.
She kicked & kid me quicken a wink.
CURTArLIso AN EvIL.--One of the old
snl.s,' at Cape Ann, in a public prayer meet
ing, mpGIed the Supreme Being to 'curtail
the influence of the devil lie was followed
by brother Of less learning, who prayed
that the evil one might not only have his in.
flnoacc curtailed, but that his tail might be
taken clean on Two sedate members Of
the Suffolk Bar, who were present lost their
gravity at this las. petition. Boston Trans
CriW.
A misery old fellow has hit upon an ex-
pertinent 70 save candles. Lo Uses the light
Of other days