New Orleans daily crescent. [volume] ([New Orleans, La.]) 1851-1866, 1861-03-11
Snodgrass Goes to See the Sights

In reply to some inquiries that have been made
of as to why the next chapter of Hints to Young
Campaigners has not appeared, we feel it our
duty to state that the distinguished author of that
work has succumbed to temptation and has been
seduced from the path of rectitude and virtue by
friend wholly forgetting for the nonce his res-
ponsble duties an author, and az one who has
undertaken to teach the young idea how to Shoot
(and load in nine times). What he did and saw he
relates in epistle to his friend Brown, and Mr..
B. and ourselves agree that it will be but just
warning and punishment to the dissipated Snod
grass to publish the letter aforesaid hence the
seeming indiscretion:
NEW ORLEANS, March 5, 1861.
Afy dear Br0Wn--1n your last you inquire for
the Fourth Chapter of Hints to Young Campaign
ers. Must confess it? your Snodgrass, hitherto
80 irreproachable in his conduct, did the other
night, (and the very night when he should have
been hard at work) with malice TrepenSe and
under the influence of dear friend, start out with
the avowed purpose of '.traveling around" You
do not know that friend, as his fame has hitherto
been confined to this city, but as he possesses
some decided idiosyncrasies, it behooves me, be-
fore going farther, to sketch him he really is,
and that you may understand what follows:
Mr. Larrynder Kydd is youth of slender pro-
portions and gigantic appetite, the observed of all
female observers, and one whose presence is abso-
lutely indispensable at every party or ball. He is
daily clad in purple and fine linen, and when really
gotten up for any great occasion, Solomon in all his
glory was never arrayed like unto him. Surrounded
as he is by the admring young women of the elite,
and blaze though he be, he is nevertheless affable
and amiable to all, and throws his kerchief first
here and then there, quite d Ia mode de Grand
Ityc. He, however, occasionally descends from
| his pedestal to take a nearer view of the world
below, and commences trip of the sort by eating
| what he facetiously terms q bird,n (meanng
thereby three OF four brace, with liquid accompan
ments) varies the amusements by partially satisfy
| ing his continually returning appetite by various
| and sundry meals, and winds up the evening by
| slowing away, in one of the democratic establish
ments Of st. Charles street, large and miseellane
| Gus assortment of provisions, in order that he
may sleep well, and not wake up hungry in the
night
| 1t was upon one of these occasions, my dear
| friend, and in unucky hour for me, that met
him, and was seducod from my duty by the glow
| ing terms in which he spoke of a pair of ducks
| that he had seen gracefully hanging in the window
| of WelI.known restaurant. He stated that he
was going to have good time generally, and as
| like good times, TOO, went along. We proceeded
| to discuss the ducks, fopr of which were brought
| to nesting in a bed of green peas. Perdition
catch my soul, but do love thee :" quoth the ex-
cited L. K; and without much ado, rushed to the
attack-in which, am bound in truth to say, he
| was most ably seconded by your most humble SER
| want. When we turned our backs upon the res
taurant and nlangled remains of the waterfowl
we were ready for anything, and Larrynder liber-
| ally offered to treat me to ticket to Vannuchi's
| Temple of Art. AS am of a treatable nature |
consented, and, upon the payment of fifty cents
we admitted to gaze upon the wonders
therein contained We were formally introduced
to Miss Fanny Wallace, at sight of whose magnf-
cent proportions L. K. became speechless from
admiration. At length, in voice choked will
emotion he ventured to inquire at what boarding
house she took her meals? At this interroga
tory faint Wheeling noise was heard issun,
from her rosy lips, but whether it was intended tt
represent indignation at the familiarity of tht
question, or was the result of futile effort t.
draw long breath, we were unable to ascertain
Disappointed at our want of success in elicit
ing reply from the fair damsel, we turned ou
attention to John Brown and his illustriou
conf'cres, all of whom looked unpleasant,
bilious. Opposite them were the japanese
each one with q pigtai of orthodox length
and all staring at Us with an expression G
such unqualified surprise as was calculated t
- make one feel uneasy and de trop. Here, noticin
that my companion appeared dist''aH, inquire
y if he were not enjoying himself hugely, when h
informed me that he was very much gratied, bu
if it was all the same to me he would prefer finish
ing the visit another time, as at present he wa
suffering so from the pangs Of hunger that nothin
| but immediate adjournment to unlimited raw oys
| ters would render him at all comfortable or happy
We accordingly departed to neghboring saloon
where L. Kydd, Esq. commenced ordering devon
| ing and ordering again, to such fearful extent
i that at the ninth dozen rebellion broke on
among the oyster-openers, who waited in bod
upon the proprietor, rendered their several resie
nations upon the spot, and demanded prompt an
immediate payment of any balances due then
u We pleaded and think with some show of Justice
that as long as we paid for what we ordered W
,r had the right to order, hut the rebeous oyste
men prevailed, and we were requested by the pre-
prietor in peremptory and unciv terms, to leave
| which we did.
Although depressed by this occurrence, N
friend Kydd was not to be put down so easily, s
we resolved to go to the Varieties ESQ called frol
the fact that they play the same piece for tw
months at a time) and see Jeanie Deans. We la
some difficulty in getting to seats, as the fot
10 was sloppy from the tears that had been shed |
sympathizing females, but once there, J.. K gay
his whole mind 10 the piece. He listened atte
NJ lively during one act, at the end of which he i
qured if it was German company that was pc
- forming. On its being explained to him that
WAS not German that was being spoken but Ell
lish, with a Scotch accent, he mournfully replit
that, any how, it was all Dutch to him. lie aga
complained of hunger, but prevailed upon him
keep quiet till the piece over, on conditiC
that / would then suffer him to cat as much as
wanted. In the last scene, when all were mu
,, interested, we startled by seeing about on
third Of the audience jump up and rush frantical
out of the house; fancying that the theater was
fire, became alarmed, but on inquiry discover
that these were some of a certain class who fl
is, quent the theaters, and vino hearing any thing
the stage inducing them to believe thatthe play
a. probably shortly como to close, are immediate
h, seized with an insane desire to get out befo
y, any of their neighbors.
This, my dear Brown, is one of the many results
7 our being such very fast people; in order to {
m ahead comfort, propriety and utility are all
6, morseessly sacrificed and thus, when you go to
20 r theater to be amused you must make up your mi