The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1861-11-07
Commercial Advertiser.
\. Ward Among the Spirits.


NV naburs Is mourn harf crazy on the new
tangled idezir about Sperrets. SpeTretOOul Srcles
IS held nitely * or long haired fellers has set
tIeI here and gone into the sperret biznis excloO
sly4y. \ ateunt made To git Mrs. y. Ward
to embark into the Sperret biznis but the atemt
flled. of the long hared felers told her she
was u ethereal cretur K wood make a sweet neil
I'm whereupon she attact him with mop handle
x drove him out Of the house / will hear OBJ
sarye that Mrs. Ward is a invaluable woman-the
partner Of my gDys 4 the shairer Of my sOrrers.
In my absuns- she watchis my interests * things
with u Eagle Eye when return she welcums
In atectIOnate stIle. IrOOly It i with us as IL
was with Mr.. L Mrs. IngOmer in the play, TO
whit
sot=s with but a single tLax:
so=s which beet l.
S!y naburs mi jJDctd me To attend SperretOOul
Sircle at Squire Smiths. When | arrOve |
found the east room chDck full nclOOdin all the
old maid sin the village i the long hared feIlers
a4sed. When | went in / salOOted with
- hear Gums the benitcl man. here Gums the
fer 1T trOJth" etsettCry, etsettery.
Sez /, .'my frens it's trOO I'm hear, x now
bEirg your Sperrets."
Of the long haired fcIlers riz up and sed he
wOJld state a few remarks. He sd man u
critter Of intellect Il was moyin ON to a Cole.
sum men had bigger intelleck than other men
had and wood git To the Cole the soonest. Sum
was beests * wood never git into the Cole at
all. He s-d tine Firth materIel but man was
imInatcriei AMI hens different from the
Firth. The Firth, cUntinncred tine speaker,
solved its own axltree Onct in 81 hours but
men haint gut mo- axitree he cant resolve. He
sed she ethereal essunce OF the kOOrGinatc branch
j. Of sipcrhuman natur becum mettymOTfuSscd
man prUgrest in harmOnial cOexistunce * eventO-
ally anty humanized themselves X turned into
regular sperretuellers. This was versifsrusly
apElaudei by the company and as | make 1t u
pint to get along pleasantly as possibly sung
= bully for you old bOy."l
The company then drew round the table and
tho SircIc kommenst to 90 it. They axed me IT
thar any body al the Sperret land which
wcOd like to converse with. | sed If Bill TOmp
kias, who onct my partner in the show biz
nis, sober, shOOd like to convarse with him
Il few periods.
l. the Sperret of William Tompkins pre-
ssEt?'' sed one of the long haired chaps, and there
WIS three knOxs the table
Sez I, '' William, how goze it, Old Sweetness
:. Pretty ruff, old hoss'' he replide.
chat was pleasant way we had If addressin
each other when ne was in the flesh
Air YOU in the show biznis, w illam - sez |.
He scf he was He sed he IL John Bunyan
was travellin with Il side show in connection with
Sbakspeer, johnson Il Co.'S Circus. lie sed Old
Bun (meaning Mr.. Bunyan.) stirred up the ami
rnais Il ground the organ while he tended door.
Occ.lshunally Mr.. Bunyan sung comic song.
The circus doins smddlin well, Bill Shakspeer
hstc; made great hit with Old Bob Ridley, and
Bers johnson deltin the people with his troO-
" freal TX Of hOssmanship without saddul or bri-
dal, They were rehersin Dixeys' Land Il expect
ed 1t would knock the people.
~ I, - William my luvly friend can you pay
me that l3 dollars you owe me?' lie sed no
with one Of the most tremenjis knox l ever expe-
rinssed-
1.1e Sircle said he had gone - Air you gone
VIE lam ?'' | axed.
.ERavther,' ne replde, and knowd it was no
uses 10 pursoo the subject further.
I;Ihen called for my father.
=. ;.Iow's things daddy?''
s'sAIiddlin my son. mIddlin.,'
'..tin't you prowd of your orfurn boy?''
.s-;carcely.,'
'eShy not, my Tarient ?!
,;ec:lwz you hav gone to wrttin for the noOs-
rapTs, nv SON. Bimeby you'll lose all your
ciIar, ,tcr Tor trooth and verrasserty. When |
help. you into heshow biznis | told you to dig
nefy that there perfe>hun. LittcratOOr Is low
lie also statid that ne was doin middlin well
ia the plant biznis X liked it putty well, tho
the climate rather warm
W zen the SIrcle stOpt thay axed me what j
tIawc Of it.
Ser /. INV friends I've bin into the show biz
mis- Row going ON - years There's Il artIkil IN
the COnstitoOshun Of the United States which sez
in clTecS that everybody may think Just ~ h5
,Irn pleszrs x them is my sentiments to 4 hair.
You dCwtlis believe this Sperret dOctrin while
think IL i = little mkt. just soon as man
brcuIus a regular ont y out Sperret rapper he
he lessyeS Orf worln. lets his hare grow all over
his fl-e x cOIumcnsiS spungun his livin out of
other people. lie eats up all the Gickshunaries
he can find 4 spze round chock full of big words,
sc.tre.n the whumin folks X little children X de-
<trUyin the piece of mind of every fLmarlee he
enters. lie don't do nobody no good Il is a cuss
% sDriety n piTit ON honest peoples corn beef
barri:s. Admittin all yu say about the doctrine
~ b.. trO1. | must say the regular Professional
Sperret rapPers-them as makes a biznis on it
air about the Ornery set of cuSses, ever en-
koun-e IN nv life.-SO sayin put my sur
tOot and went home. Respectfully Yures,
ARTEMUS WARD.