The Grand Haven news., 1861-05-22
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.
= 1t is very common for men when
corned, to have husky voices.


corned, to have husky voices.
Physicians prescriptions are now
called death warrants in Latin.
= A very unpopular officer with some
of the ladies-General Housework.
- Brave actions are the substance of
life, and good sayings the ornaments of
it.
- In the game of life men most fire.
quenty play tho knave and women the
deusc. ''
- The transit across the English chan
mel is supposed TO be the SIC transit al
luded TO in the well known Latin quota
tation.
- When man wants money or as
sistance, the world, MS n rule, is very
oblging and indulgant, and lets him
want it.
= Bow to destiny; one of these days
he may be polite aud return your compli-
ment.
: A thief broke into a grocer's ware
house, and on trial excused himself on the
plea that he merely went in there TO take
tea.
= Weekly doses of washboards are
recommended to young ladies' troubled
with dyspepsia. aaA
= begin to believe that now-a- days
money makes the man, and dress the
gentleman.
= l begin TO believe that boy who
doesn't swear, smoke and chew tobacco,
may be a very good boy, but is naturally
stupid.
- If the devil should die, one-half of
the world would be thrown out Of en-
ployment.
- Marriage is designated bridal :"
state, because it puts curb upon most
people.
- The Evergreen is defined as "tho
man who does not grow wiser by expert
ence"
In private we must watch our tho'ts:
in the family our temper; aud in com
pany our tongues.
- What has become Of the candle
when il has been burntg' at has gone
tho way of the aOick-ed."
- There is but one pride pardonablc /;
that Of being above doing base or dis
honorable action.
=" doctor, do you think, tight-lacing
is bad for consumption ?" "Not at all
it is what it lives on"
- If dull weather affects you, marry
a warm-hearted girl, and make sunshine
for yourself
-" Done on my own hook" is now
rendered, "Executed the responsibility
on my own personal curve"
- Two men down East undertook to
SEQ which could run. the fastest. One
was sheriff and the other was a thief
- An editor down South apologies
for delay in the issue of his paper, as
he had an extra "male" to attend to this
week.
- We should give as we receive, cheer
fully, quickly, and without hesitation; for
there is no grace in a benefit that sticks
to the fingers.
- An old lady who was reading about
new steamboat, which had twelve berths
in the ladies' cabin, exclaimed: Dear
me, what a squalling there must have
been."
- Some Americans in Australia were
ordered to raise pole and display the flag
Of all nations from it. They did as they
were commanded, and petticoat waved
in the breeze. .l
- An exchange, recording the fall OF
q person into river, says: alt is Won
der he escaped with bis liie.p Prentice
says: " Wouldn't it be greater won
der if he had escaped without q
- A gentleman, who, under the least
excitement, would exclaim "there is cri-
sis coming" was considerably amused at
being gravely informed by little four
year old son, that the cry SIS had come
and was in the bed with mother aI
- A German, who had $500 in gold
deposited in one of the Western banks,
stepped up to the counter the other day,
presented his certificate, and demanded
his gold. We was paid, when he said tc
the banker:
"Vot you gif for golt now, ehp
Five per cent" was the response.
"Oh, yaw, dat ish goot. | sell yor
desc for goot paper monish."
"All right" was the reply, and $31i
currency was handed the ex-depositor
who took $l5 from his roll of notes, anC
handed back $500, saving:
81 deposit dat init YOU. You're goot
| Sees"
Al Iii l.. -. oont;6caia he de-