Democrat and sentinel. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1853-1866, 1861-12-18

outside OF this house, SIT, lAiSntJ quiNh' VI
else somebody will have q headache No,
sir, am not Mrs, Meells, and l want you to
leave"
.'Oh, certainly said Nat, who saw the
the tallest kind of squall brewing, and
who had good reason to fear that the sturdy
dame might LAUGH at his head a conch shell
or some other Of the heavy ornaments which
adorned the mantle. Nat, therefore, beat
retreat from off the premises, and placed
himself behind a stone fence, from which he
could command view of the Brooklyn
turnpike He did wait long before he saw
arniable Caleb driving down the road all un-
concious Of the ambush Of Nat. The ex-
preston upon Caleb's face was one ofthe
greatest amiability, and exempliicd that he
/ was at peace with '.all the world and the
/ rest Of mankind"
/ In brief space of time Caleb's steed was
/ given into the charge of q stable boy. and
unconcious and happy he entered his domi-
/ ciIe and shut the door. The moment he en-
tered an attentive ear might have detected
{ the sounds of a voice in 10 way mellow or
expressive of endearment and in an instant
after Caleb hurriedly came through the door
with amazcment on his face and a mop in
in his rear, the wrong end of which was un-
der the direct and personal superintendent
Of lady who was very red in the face and
very sturdy in the arms, and who Strongly
resembled Mrs. Meeks.
The battle Lad commenced in the passage
way CaleJ's castor which had shown in
the rays of the setting sun, as he drove
down the road, was very much bruised and
out of shape indeed, it was driven over his
amiable physiognomy.
:. What in thunder IS out 2" yelled Ca
leb.
Twenty FIVE years DID," sIriebed the
inluriated dame, aud bang. Caleb caught the
mop over his shoulders. 9 Corkscrew ring
let's" and punk he 90: it in the back, with
all the strength which nature and anger had
given to the enraged lady.
"D-n it don't do that!''
But it was no use, lie had to take it.
- Diamond ear rings" punk. Silk vel
vet dress bang. Gold bracelets whump.
q Murder !" roared Caleb.
'Watch and chain - she yelled, and biff.
he took it over the head.
& Muff," bang, slump. Boa" bang,
and down went Caleb with a cry of murder.
Now fell the blows thick and fast upon
, the bruised head, back and face of the pros
trate Joker while the lady again rehearsed
the catalogue Of the wearing apparel and
levels Of the other Mrs, Meeks, timing the
utrcrance of the name of each article with
a blow upon her PROSTATE, writhing and
bleeding lord.
But all things must have an end. The
violent exercise of the arms and lungs. in
which Mrs. Mecks had INDUCED, had some
what exhausted her She had twice run
, through Mats imaginary catalogue. and
feeling her strength departing, gathered her
self for one grand and final effort. Caleb
looked with hoIrcr upon the Upraiscd mop
he heard the words. oh the huzzy.' shou
tel in a vigorous tone: he heard hustIine
whizzing sound in the air. and in an in
stant the poor fellows nose was as fiat a,
: thu other paris Of the face. His tormentol
retired into the mansion and left him alone
in his gore. Slowly, and with the most
keen sensations Of pain, he raised him seI
:. into a sitting posture. and with many &
groan Of agony, he proceeded to inspect Iii
. personal condition.
;, - This arms broken certain! OH anc
7 this left shoulder must be dislocated. Goo
Lord, what nosei shan't be able to 2,
about for 4 month! Oh. Lord. how sore
j., ami
, Now, Nat with the most VleasuTable emo
:, tons, had through the creyicc Of the fence
observed the whole IF the little family ia
which I have 50 freely described; and b
7 now stood looking over the fence at tn
back Of dear friend.
Il say, Uncle Caleb shouted Nat.
= Hey"' said Caleb, as he turueI ia som
: little astouishment. to look upon his forme
victim.
"Isay Caleb shouted Nat how do yor
feel about now ?"
"Oh you----,' Il shall leave +
II; JIanl,) yelled the enra2od Caleb, as h
sprang to his feet and made for the house
: III fix your flint"
But Nat didn't want his flint fixed, an,
therefore made his way with all celerity N
the road.
Soon after there appeared upon the greer
sward, RENDERED sanguinary and sacred b,
conjugal endearments, lame man, VIII
wore a shocking bad hat, and who had Ia
ken possession of fowling piece loade,