The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1861-06-06
mans doo.y to visit my show" sed 1.
sUyVe air cump

l "
"And that's the reason you are here, >
seq /, larfn one of my silvery larfs.
thawt If he wanted to COAX ia give hin
sum Of my sparklin eppygrams.
"Sir, you're inserleut. The plane
question is, will you haul down the Star
Spangled Banner, and hist the Southern
asg?" rp. ..
"Nary hist! !" Those was my reply
Your wax works aud beests is then
confiscated, and you are arrested as a
Spy !" 49,
See l, My fragrant roses of the
southern cline, and bloomin datfodils,
what's the price of whiskey in this town,
aud how many cubic feet of that seduc-
tive aooid can you individooally hold ?"
They made no reply to that. but sed
my wax fggers was con6scatcd. l sxed
them if that was giuerally the style
among thieves in that country, to which
they made no reply, but sed was arres.
ted - Spy, and must 70 to Montgome.
~ in iruns. They was by this time jim.
ed by large crowd of other Southern
patriots, who commenced hollerin. "Hang
the bald-head aberlishunist, and bust up
his immortal exhibition !" l was ceased
and tied to stump, and the crowd went
for my tent-that waterproof pavilion,
wherein instruction and amusement had
been so muchly combined at Is cents per
head-and tore it all to pieces. Mean
while dirty faced boys was THROWN stuns
and emty beer bottles at my massive
brow, and takin other improper liberties
with my person. Resistance was useless,
for variety of reasons, as readily OBJ
served.
The Seseshers con6s"ated my statoots
by smashin them to attums They then
went to my money box and confscated
all the loose change therein contained.
They then went aud bust in my cages,
lettin all the animles loos, small but
helthy tiger among the rest. This tiger
has eccentric way Of tarcin dogs to
peaces, and l alters sposed from his GIN
eral conduck that he'd hcv no hesitashun
in scrvin human beins iu the same way
if he could get at them. Excuse ME if
was crooil, but l larfed boysterrously
when saw the tiger spring in amung
the people. "Go it, my sweet cuss :"
inardly exclaimed, l forgive you for
bitin off my left thum with all my heart
Rip 'em up like bully tiger whose Lare
has been invaded by Seseshers."
| can't say for eertin that the tiger Sc
risly Injured any of them, but as he was
seen few dase after some miles distant,
with large and well selected assortment
of seets Of trowsis in his mouth, and as
he lookt as tho he'd bin havin sum vio-
lent exercise, l rather CESS he did. You
will ther4 perceive that they didn't con-
tscate him much
ornssy Sss cTarl sa:s; ' but the table was liberal
" supplied with Bacon and Cabbise;:-,
This was good variety, for when did
ept banker after Bakin l Good help myself
to the Csbbige. =.
I had nobody to talk to nor nothin to
talk about. however, and was very lone
" espeshully on the first day; SO when
the jaler parst my lonely sell ! put the
few stray hairs on the back part Of my
he'd 1'm bald now, but there was time
when wore sweet auburn ringlets) into
as disheyelled state as possible, q roll
in nv Use like manyak, cride' Stay
ialer, stay I'm not mad, but sune shsl
be if YOU don't bring me suthin to tall
, to '" Tie brung me sum noospapers fo
which l thanked him kindly.
At larst / got interview with Jeffer
> son Davis, the President Of the Southern
t fConthieveracy. He was quite perlite
] and axed me to sit down and state m.
case. I did it, when he larfed, and sec
his gallunt men had bin little 2 enthoo
} siastically in confiscatin my show.
eyes," sez l, "they confscated nj
2 muchly. l had some hosses coutiscatee
in the same way onct, but the contscat-
ers air now poundin stun in the States
prissn at lnjinnappylus.'
"Wall, wall, MIR. Ward, you air Al
liberty to depart you air friendly to tho
South, l know, Even now we have
many frcns in the North, who sympathiss
with US, and won't mingle with this
fight"
81. Davis, thars your crate mistaik
; Many Of US was your sinsere frens, ane
| thought certin parties amuug US was fus
! sin about you and medin with your con
sarns entirely too much. But j. Davis
, the mint you fire gun at the pice o
dry. y.goods called the Star-Spangled Ban
ner, the North gifts up and rises en- mas
sy, in defence of that hannar MOI -e;.
J you as individooals agin the Soutl
even-but to save the flag. We shoult
indeed be week in the neese, unsound il
the hart, milk.white in the liver, ant
| soft in the he'd, if we stood quietly b,
: and saw this glorous Govyment smashed
r to peces ether by furrin or intestin
. foe. The gentle mother hates t
f take her naughty child across her knee
: but she knows it is her dooty to do it
/ So we shall hate to whip the naught
: Soth, but we must do it if you don
8 make back tracks at onct, and we sha
. wallup you out Of your boots j. Davis
e it is my decided opinion that the Som
: South is maxim egrejus mutton he'd {
I herself -
e eco on, sir, you're safe enuff. Yo
d re too small powder for NE p sed tt
}. President Of the Southern Coat thieverac,
Waite till l go home and start o,
v the Baldinsville Mounted Hoss Cavalry
' I'm Captiug Of that Corpse, am, au
!. J. Davis, beware Jefferson D., no
q leave you Farewell my ga Saler Boy
Good by, my bold buccaneer Pirut
y the deep blue sea, adoo adoo !"
!. My tower threw the Southern Co
Al Al -.