Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1861-10-05
The Man who Knows Everything.
A mighty knowing man was Caleb Page,

A mighty knowing man was Caleb Page,
who kept the grocery at the fork OF the
read, hear Woodchuck Creek, Sprip Hol-
low, in the village of HornviIe. No oc-
currence had taken place, Of all the part
culars Of which Caleb did not possess u
thorough knowledge in the minutest de-
tail. All matters in the prospective were
anticipated, discussed, arranged and sat-
isfactori!y disposed of by Caleb, long be-
fore they took place. If a neighbor rushed
into the store to communicate what he
believed to be very recent piece Of news,
he would have the conceit taken out vf
him by being told by Caleb that he had
heard of it a week ago. Events of the
past, present and future were all the same
to him his ubiquitous knowledge srasped
and covered them ALT Kim they were
all "stale news"
A small bet was made one evening be-
tween 81 Stevens aud Joe Stubbins. 81
bet Joe couldn't nonplus Caleb with anv
piece of intelligence-real or imaginary
Joe took all such bets as that
The following evening ST and Joe, ac.
companied by two or three of the boys
Of the village, who were to "help the
CaIeb's store. After being comforia bly,
seated here and there, on barrels, boxes,
ETC., 81 opened the evenings amusement
by asking, in 4 manner that indicated he
was continuing conversation commenc
ed bei3re they had entered the store. 80
you say, Joe, that they caught him at
last?' "Ies, sir, about seventeen min.
u,es past eight
We'll, Joe, how far W the creek was
it?'
"On careful consideration should say
it was about three miles, or t'.rea miles
and quarter, or perhaps, L-!f; up the
creek
Caleb who had not lost word Of the
conversation, dropped his sugar scoop
with astonIshment, and opened his ears,
for the boys were talking aboq, matter
in which he was not posted up The
conversation commenced.
"Welt' says 81, that couldn't a been
far from Deacon Hunts
Jest so,' answered Joe. "it wa. about
eighty rods from Deacon Hunts hog pen,
in ssunch wise direction
Did you hear Joe" with face IS long
as a grave stone, ''how much lie they got"
Yes, did. replied Joe, with another
face as solemn as two gravestones Il
hearn that they got nigh about eighty
bRrls Of lie.
The wsgs observed that Caleb was get
ting exceedingly uneasy, and piled it
on
Well, Joseph, how long was the rep
tile ?"
well. Silas. the insect was about 50
feet long. and % inches broad-thick in
proportion"
II thought, Joe, tha: there was two on
EN-
That's fact, there was pare on EN-
hut they only canght the he one
At this point of the dialogue Caleb be,
came so desperately excited that he could
contain himself no longer, and snappshIy
demanded to know ''what'n the thunder
they were talking about 2
why said joe with we'll fegned AS
tonishment don't you know about Their
catching that are"
"Tha. are what?' peevishly snarled
Caleb.
"Why, that are whale !! seriously an.
swered Joe Siubbns
"A whale r exclaimed the bewiliered
Caleb, have they caught that whale up
the creek?'
They havn't caught anything else
said the imper,urable Joe.
"And how much lie did they get p in
quired Caleb, as he recovered his wits
"Ninety-twc barrels replied Joe, for
getting the amount he had previously
mentioned
Well said Caleb. with slow delihe.
ration, and satisfied look, II am glad
they caught that whale, heard they were
arter him"