Polynesian. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu], Hawaii) 1844-1864, 1861-06-22
Ghe Rolnnesian.
From Harper's New Monthly Magazine
Onr Husbands.

Man, VINO mas bis type IN Adam, is predestIned
to be the husband by his mental constitution as
well as by his physical organization He is strong
and his very strength is unblessed and unappreciat
ed until set off and harmonized by the Companion
ship OF his gentler and more graceful mate He is
marked mainly by hard intellect and stout will.
and he tends to merely utitarian calculation and
coarse sefreliance, apart from the feminine intui-
ton and faith that make him more a man by in
tegrating his fragmentary nature by union with
womanly sensibilty. Woman is his chosen educa-
tor. This fact he proves from the cradle, or in his
mothers arms; and he can never forget it so long
as his ear Is open to any gentle word from sister
or daughter. But of all women who educate him
the wife is chief and it is she who ought to bring
out all the better influences of his mother by her
fidelity and his devotion. We really believe that
men are, in the main. educated by their wives in
the leading practical aims and affections of daily
life, and we believe it none the less for being well
aware that, on the whole. the husband has the
more determined will. This very fact fixes the
wife's influence, since determined will does not
yield to of its kind, but is rather hardened by
opposition while it surrenders with comparative
ease to gentle influences that make up, by impOr-
tunity and softness, what they lack in hardihood.
Petticoat government is an established institution
and the husbands who boast most of their liberty
may be al the more snugly tied to the apronstring
because they do not feel the strain by venturing
beyond the memorable limits of the tether. We
not of the ascetic school of philosophers, nor
we dainty sentimenalists, and we no reason,
either before God or man, to be ashamed of any of
the natural instincts that draw husband and wife
to each other yet quite little inclined to
the abominabe materiaIism that regards the attrac
ton as mainly sensual one. The best love ripens
long after the bloom of beauty and the lust OF
of strength have languished and the essential
fitness of the masculine and feminine character
for happy union is never so obvious as in the
declining years of a couple whom God has really
joined together in a marriage of the mind and
heart We know that the common facts of human
experience are hardest of all to define, and we may
be mistaken in deciding upon the cause of any
strong emotion or attachment great Is the force
of collateral circumstances and unconscious assOcia
tiOns in modifying our thoughts and feelings and
easy is it, for example, for man to call himself
patriot who is willing to fight in defense of his
own property, or to regard himself as amOdel hus-
band father because he is proud of sons talents
or wife's or daughter beauty. But we are quite
confident that the element of masculine character
that makes man by emnence husband is his
natural need of feminine protection. He needs a
woman to protect him indoors just as much as the
woman needs man to protect her out of doors.
The woman is born with the instructive conviction
that she can look after a man, and secure his
happiness. 1t is really quite affecting to see how
soon precious little daughter feels this instinct
and, in her mothers absence, she sits at the head
of the table, and In thousand ways comforts the
father only the womanly heart can do. Every
true man needs this feminine com fort the nearest
form and even if wealth can surround him with
uxuries, he is ill at ease until gentle presence
smiles upon his dwelling and makes it home.
Men, by themselves, are never at home, no matter
how well housed or fed. The cares and passions
of the world are still driving at them, until the
new element of womanly grace and tenderness
comes to soften down, by mild and magnetic violet
tone, the ruddy glare of the musculine horizon.
With the woman whom he loves and respects, man
is with his best protector and this woman must be
his wife, for none other can he at once love and re-
spect so deeply and tenderly. She to him is sacred
as mother and daughter, while near to him as they
can not be- in nearness as hallowed it is affec
tiOnate. Her mind is the natural counterpart OF
his own and when with her he has sense of being
protected from the cares and temptations of the
world as nowhere else. Said a strong man to US
once, " When am near my wife and children
all the hells seem shyt, and the devils out of
sight but when they are out of town, a whole
legion of devils seem barking at me-" We are
aware that all wives not habitually sweet
tempered, and not all are comforters; but we are
nevertheless confident that any true woman is her
husbands defender from masculine annOyances,
and many a somewhat vehement wife, who is often
quite free in dealing with her husbands weak
points, claims the monopoly of the domestic
censorship, and is determined that nobody else
shall scold him OF annoy him so that. on the whole
she is capital protector, by having his faults
brought to Judgment only before her tribunal,
which is never wholly merciless. So confident are
we of the wife's power as her husbands indoor
protector, and Of his essential need of her loving
care that we consider all unmarried men in
imminent personal danger. We hear, indeed, of
unprotected females. who can not 60 out after
dark because lacking the attendance of some
brawny masculine arm. What shall we say OF the
unprotected men who so abound IN our streets,
and who fall into all manner of mischief and ruin
Who ever knew of man falling into evil ways in
his wifes presence and what police system would
be so effectual as intrusting the whole stray
masculine population to the care Of good wives OF
even mediocre feminine proprietyl Surely before
such galaxy of beacOn-lights the stars of our
regular police would pale, and MatselPs and
Tallmadges occupation would soon be gone. The
establishment might be somewhat expensive but
would undertake to pay the whole cost of 1t
out of the savings of money from the closing OF
bar-rooms, gambling hells, and dens OF scarlet
infamy and to have money enough LETT to establish
a grand seminary for the education of all girls who
are candidates for such police duty. But we would
not treat the subject lightly, much less coarsely
and we reaffirm position, that the true man IS
called to be husband, not only by his ability to
protect wife, but by his need of her protection,
alike from the cares and the vices OF the world IN
the charmed atmosphere of q true home. We do
not forget that, in humble life, he needs her to
make his clothes and cook his food but we equally
remember that in every sphere of life, no matter
how favored, he needs her love to comfort and
strengthen him. He may, indeed, BY gold or
genius, win brilliant beauty to his side, and give
to irts or to scarlet the place that belongs
to true and constant friend but he is no true
man so long as not loyal to true woman, and
only the wife can win from him the mingled respect
and affection that enrich and strengthen him as
much as they comfort her We know that We are
taking pretty high ground on this subject. and
laying the foundation Of the husbands character
upon his essential need Of feminine companionship
in its consecrated form. and 50 committing him to
marriage, not for selfindulgence, or even for So