Holmes County Republican. [volume] (Millersburg, Holmes County, Ohio) 1856-1865, 1861-02-28
HiLP IN HaUR IN A R.iILRoiB 0P7ICR.

Iravelier.-"New I0rk; planting ihe
price of a ticket. The ticket clerk jerks
cut a ticket, and jerks in the money almost
in an instant, without a word, and the
traveller leaves place for the next Conner,
who perhaps has the same destination,
but who occupies much more time in
making his wants known, something after
this style:
whats the fare to New York?'
Five dollars"
allow long afore you starts"
"Ten minutes"
"Ah-er-can you change fifty dollar
bill"
"Yes, sir"
"Give me the change in Boston money,
Qaying out the fifty,) an in five dollar
bills if you can"
Change is made, and the ticket thrown
out, almost in second Of time.
"Do you get into New York as early
now as usual?
"Yes, sir"
"What time does the Felidelfy train
leave tomorrow morning"
"Seven-thirty."
By this time the querist has gathered
up his bank notes, folded them up, put
them smoothly into pocket book, poked
his umbrella into the stomache of hated
individual from The rural districts, who
was waiting nervously behind him, and by
the delay caused the collection of half a
dozen other applicants for tickets.
Next comes the countryman' turn.
(Breathlessly)-"Thckelf f or Boston"
.'You are in Boston now, sir"
40! O!oh-er! Yes, ha, ha, ha! 1 want
to go to Plympton viHe-(no show of
money!
"Forty five nts"-(waiting for a
show funds.)
"Yes; wal, I'll take one ticket"
ayes, sir, forty-fve cents"
By this time the gentleman from the
rural district comprehends the pay in ad-
vance principle adopted at all well-regu-
lated railway stations, and fishing into the
profound depths of his panlaoons pocket,
wilhdraws, in a spacious hand, a miscei-
laneous collection, which, from haSiy
glance, appears to be composed of piece
of cavendish tobacco, lead pencil,
piece of red chalk, large jack knife, a
leather shoe string, a couple of buttons, a
suspender buckle, and some change
From the latter, twenty five cent piece,
two half dimes, two three-cent pieces, and
four Cents. are Iaboriously extracted, and
deposited on the counter, from which
they are rapidly swept by three or four
dexterous passes of the clerk, who turns
To serve lady.
81 want lady's ticket to Providence"
deposi,ing a five dollar note. Clerk
throws out Gladys ticket" which bears
a striking similarity to, and in fact would
be called Twin brother of a "genlleman's
ticket" and tn" change at the same time.
Lady cautiously examines the bank note
she has received in. exchange-"Is this a
good bill Z"
'Certainly, madam. we give none other"
Lady retires, perfectly satisfied. The
next customer is an illustrious exile, whom
we have every reason to suppose has re-
Gently Jared sumptuously upon repast in
which onions must have figured conspicu-
ously as vegetable, and moderate priced
whisky as the principal beverage.
"Shure an what's the phrice of cdick-
ct now to Nee York.
"Deck passage, two dollars and half"
"Wouldn't yez take dollar and sivinty-
five; shure, it's all the money Nv got at all
at ALL"
"Nol two dollars and fifty cents"
Persuasively) -"Shure, wouldn't ye
take two dollarsl"
"Not cent less than two fifty. EN-
phatically.) Pass your money or pass on"
Pat, finding blarney and persuasion of
no use in this instance, counts out his cash,
which the quick eye of the clerk discovers
to be little short of the required amount.
"Three cents more"
The stray three cent piece is reluctantly
dropped from Patrick's warm palm, and the
individual who succeeds anxiously inquiries
what time the five o'clok train leaves, and
is seriously informed: "At sixty minutes
pas four"
The next inquires-"Has Mr.. Smith
bought ticket for this train?"
"Can't say, sir; don't know him."
"oh he's dark complexioned man, had
on dark overcoat. and an umbrella under
his arm.
In consideration of the fact that about
fifty "dark- Observation-Disclosures, with