Cincinnati daily press. [volume] (Cincinnati [Ohio]) 1860-1862, 1861-03-25

The Memorabie VOynge of the "PoIIy
Anna story of the TempcstuOus
Canal
Ttis is Artemus Wards last story, which
those " no can are welcome to admire:
In overhaulin' one of my old trunks the
tother day, | found the follerin' jernal of a
wage on the starnch canawl- bote, Polly
4nS, which happened to the Subscriber
when / was a young mar lin the Brite Lex.
ing on of yootn, when thar ain no SIGH
word as faleI on the Wabash Canawl:
Mondy, Up. Mot under wa. Hoses
rot ren arkabie risky at fust.. Had to bid
fires uLder 'em before they'd start. Startid
at lsrst very student, causin the bote for to
lurcb Vicinity, and knOckin me OFF from my
pius. (Saler frase.) Several passengers on
bored. PaGst threu deliteful country. Hon
let ia mers wss 10 work sowin corn, aud
ot1e, produce in the fields. SurbIime
sceuuy Large Ted-htded gal ~reclinin on
III backs Of the CanawI, balhin her feet.
Turned 10 at Is minits parst eleving.
TCOsdy.-Riz at 5 an went up on the poop
deck. Took a groan PERSONS dose of Ticker
wi b q member Of the lnjiany legislator,
VIII oh he urbanely insisted on allowin me to
pay iur. Bote tearin threu the briny waters
ut II rate of 2 NOts a hour, when the boy
on the leadin hess SHOUTED,
Sale hoel'
"Wbar away2' hollered the capting,
clesrin his glass Ia emty black bottle, with
tn botlum nCckt out) and bringing it to his
Esq e eye.
@Bouc fore rods to the stsrbud," screamed
the boy,
"Je;; 3d." screeched the capting. "What
wts,tPs that ARR
"T,e Kickin Warier, Of Terry Hawt and
lie d. ned to your
Il, l sirr hollered our capting. "Reef
youf u f boss, splice your main jib boom,
and hail your chambermaid What's up in
Terry Hawt?'
"iou know Bill Spikes ?" sed the capting
of t c Warier.
~ AL, | Teckin. He kin eat more fride
pork nor any man of his beft on the Wabash.
He's II ornament 10 his sexl'
wal" continued the capting of the
Rickin Wayier. "Wilyim got a little owly
the tO,her day, and got to pranciu around
tow on that cid white mare of hisin, and
bein il a playful mood, he rid up in front of
the Cour;-'us whar Old Judge Perkins wasa
holdin Court, and let drive his rifle at him.
The bu Jet didn't hit the Judge at all; it
only jtz whizzed parst his left ear, lodgin in
the wall tehiUd MIN but what dye spose
the cd despot did? Why, he actooally
fneC Bill ten dollars for contempt of Court
What do you think of that ~ axed the
captIcg of the Warier, as he parst e long
bica bo'ue over 10 our capC.ng.
tlhe country is indeed in danger! - sed
our capting, raisin the bottle to his lips.
The VESSELS parted. No other incidents that
day. Retired to my chased coach at ) minus
psrst 70.
(Wensdy) Riz arly. Wind BLOWN N.
". L. Hevy sea on and ship rollin wildly
in coBseBents Of peppur.corn havin bin fas-
tened 10 the fOrreId boss tale. "Heave twor'
roaied the captiDg to the man at the rudder,
as the Folly give a fritefal toss. | was sick,
an sorry I'd cum. "Heave twol' repeated
thu tapting | went below. "Heave two ~
l heaTn him boiler again, and stickin my
Led out of the cabin winder, l heV.
The hcsses BEGUN dosile eventually, an |
ielt better. The sun bust out in all his
splender. disregardless of expense, and
lively Natur put in her best ticks. We parst
The ~reautiful village of Limy, which lookt
sw eet indeed, with its neat white cottages,
IDstitOOts Of learnin and other evidences
Of ciyilizasbunr inclOodin a party of bald
heded cullered men who was playin 3 card
monty on the stoop of the Red Eagle tarv-
ern. All, all was food for my 2 poetic sole.
| went below 10 breakfast, but viLtles had
lost their charms. Take sum of this sed
the Csptipg, shown a bottle lords my plate.
"1ts whisky. a few quarts alters sets me
right when my stummick gifts out of order.
It's a excellent TOhic!' | declined the Sc
ductiye food.
(TLuisdyl Didn't rest well last night on
account OF u uprOre made by the capting,
who stCpt the Bote 10 90 ashore and smash
In the Windows OF a grocery. He was bro,t
back IN about 3 hour, with his he'd dun up
in aIed hankeTcher, his ey es bein sWelled up
0rtuj, aid his nose very much out of lint.
He WAS brO't aboard on a shutter by his crue
and deposited on the cabin floor, the passen-
gers all iisin up in their births, pushin the
red curtains aside & lookin out to see what
the matter was.
Nv by do you allow your pashuns to run
away with you in this onseemly stile, my
miseided fTendY' sed a sollum lookin man ia
aIed flannel mite cap. "Why do YOU sink
yourself to the Beasts of the ield?''
wall the fack Isl sed the eapting, risin
hissef on The shutter, "rve bin a little pre-
ioodiced agin that grosery for sum time.
But l made II lively for the bows, Deacoal
Bet yer lifeF' He larfed a short, wild larG.
and called for his jug. Sippin a few pints,
be smiled gently upon the passengers, sed
BLESS ou! bless yOu!' and feel into a sweet
sleep.
Eventually we reached our jemy's eud.
This was ID the days Of Old Long Sign, be4
The lien boss was foaled. This was bed
steem' ntts was gOin r0uud Dustin their
pliers q seDdin peple higher nor a kite.
Ihem IVES happy days when peple was intel
ngehi q wax hggers K liVin wild beests
6ash't sccfed At
. dass ofmsb oyhood.
N atea@ls On = noF!"
Tbs ~lSDI0SAST PAaEST OF A VULGAR
DAUGhlrR"A musical composer RECENTLY
visited the isle Of Thanet and while pacing