The Grand Haven news. [volume] (Grand Haven, Mich.) 1858-18??, 1861-12-25
How HE WON HER.

Young men who are ambitious of success
in the matrimonial line, should study well
the grand secret. Our friend who furnish
ed the sketch sees no reason why it sho'ld
not be true.
A young lady Of eccentric character,
but of rare mental endowments, and ex-
traordinary personal attractions, had five
suitors equally assiduous in their atten-
tions. Unable to decide upon which she
should bestow her hand, she gave them
notice to call upon her at a certain day,
and each state his claims in the presence
Of the others. At the appointed time
the lovers arrived -Four were confident
of success; but the fifth had q downcast
look, and sighed when no gazed OH the
object of his devotion.
Gentlemen" said she, "you have
honored me with proposals of marriage
| have, as yet, neither refused nor accept
ed any of you; state your claims to my
hand, that l may know upon what
grounds | may be justified in bestow-
ing it,"
A. answered as follows:
eff you marry me, you shall live in a
splendid house, have carriages and SER
wants at your command, and enjoy all the
luxurics of fashionable life. | am rich"
B. spoke next:
"My rival has said very truly that he
is rich, and that he offers strong induce
ment; but | am of noble descent. My
grandfather was a Duke, and although
not wealthy, am of family with whom
an alliance would be considered an honor
to the wealthiest heress in the land"
G. then stated his claims:
81 am politician, and have now
reputation that older persons have envied.
Next year l shall run for Congress, and
have no doubt of success. BY marrying
me your name will be handed down to
posterity."
d. twisted his moustache, with an air
Of an exquisite, and said:
Angelic creature 'Pon my word /
think you have already made up your
mind in my favor. You know how much
| am admired. Who is the most fash
ionably dressed in tho town? Who is
the best Judge of the opera9 Rumor
says d.; but pom my honor, I'm too mod
est to insist upon it,"
When it came Els turn to speak, there
was a pause; all eyes were turned to-
ward him. Poor fellow he was dreadful
" embarrassed.
"Well,' said the beauty, "what say
you, Mr.. f. 2"
"Alasr was the reply, al yield to
these gentlemen. They have the advan-
tage of me in every respect" And he
took his hat to leave.
Stop" said the lady, "make your
statement, no matter how humble may
be your claims"
81 am poor"
" Go on, sir"
"I am unknown in the world"
No matter; proceed"
"I have neither the taste nor the
means to dress fashionaby. | work for
my livelihood. 1t is hardly possible that
can make you happy, for can afford
none of the inducements held out by my
rivals"
II am to judge of that, sir; what next"
Nothing, only love you, and take
a newspaper"
At this, Mr.. A., B., G. and D., burst
out into loud laugh, and exclaimed in
one voice." So do we! l love you TO
distraction! take four newspapers, ha
baw
Silence!" said the lady. ain one
month you shall have my answer. You
may all withdraw"
Al the end of the month the five suit
ors again appeared. Turning TO each ore
in succession the lady replied:
"Rches are not productive Of happi-
ness. Boasted nobility of blood is the
poorest of all recommendations. Fame
is fleeting, and he that has only the garb
of n gentleman is to be pitied. | have
found out tho names Of the papers to
which you all subscribe, and have found
that mono of you who boasted of wealth,
nobility and fame, or fashion, hare paid
the Printer. Now, gentlemen, this is
dishonest. / can not think of marrying
n man who would be guilty Of dishonest
act. l have learned that Mr.. E., not on
ly subscribes for paper, but pays the
Printer. Therefore, say he is the man
l give him my hand with full conviction
that he is the one every way calculated
to make me happy"
Need we extend our narrative? The
disappointed gentlemen disappeared quite
suddenly; aud the lucky suitor was united
to the object Of his devotion; and in a
few years, by honesty and industry, be-
came not only distinguished, but n
wealthy man, and was esteemed by all.
Young man, he paid the Printer! Is
there no moral in this9
EE- A wit being told that an old ac-
ouaintance was married, exclaimed, Il
am glad 10 hear it," But rejecting a
moment, he added in tone of compass
Il 4 "A