Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1861-03-30

skirt, OF some kind Of rigging, before
she'd been married a month. These
women are expensive luxuries, Ned,
at least, I'm told so b. the dry-goods'
clerks. But the worst Of the whole af-
f&ir is, that I'ye promised to visit this
unmitigated nuisance" a
"SottIy, Tom. That's not gallant
And whatever you do, stick to your
gallantry. And then you do propose
to make this fair maid Of yours visit,
when she thinks you will arrange for
the sacriGcc-excuse me, for the rup-
tials %
Exactly so, but ! beg to assure her
ladyship that it will not be SO. And
now no more cross-questionlng, my be-
loved apostle Of Blackstone, but pro-
ceed to declare yourseIf.''
"Miss Arnold doubtless thinks you
are young %
eyes; and [ may add, handsome"
cit is very easy for you to be Meth
err
'HHow? BY getting angry as 7 am
this morning.? It is not improving to
fellows looks, is it? But, Ned, it
would never do to go to Miss Arnold
III towering rage for the sake Of look
ing ugly?"
''Certainly not But allow me to lay
down, as the starting point, the axiom
that no woman loves 3 homely man.
And now all you have to do, my dear
Apollo, is to transform yourself, into Il
middle aged man, with stoop IN your
shoulders, and present yourself to Miss
Arnold, and insist at once that she mar
~ you. 3 as awkward and bashtul
as possible, also; and, ten to one, Miss
Arm I'D will call the servants to show
you out, besides giving you o full re-
lease from your engagement"
''Can I 60 it?"
"Nothing easier; just get you g
brindle wig, pair Of brindIe whiskers,
knock out one eye-or else wear cog
giles, just as you choose-have a terri
bic cough, and eXpectorate. Take a
chew OF tobacco while you are sitting
with her; and when you come back,
III take that bob-tail nag we wet Of"
"Agreed, Ned; give us your hand. "
Madge Arnold sat in her pretty bou-
doir, at Ridgewood Place, tapping her
foot iinpatientIy upon the floor, and
twisting a letter she held in one hand
into q iamplighter. Madge was evi-
IDENTIFY pouting, and being one Of those
pretty girls whom you seldom see, tho'
you hear q great deal about them, q
pout was not unbecoming to her
Don't let any Of my Young lady read
crs be encouraged by this into poutino.
for there are but one or two faces in
the world that can stand this, and
Madgc had ore Of them. Madge's lips
always gave one a desire to touch
them, they were SO full and tempting.
1t was whispered that this temptation
was not always resisted by Madge's
admlrerS.) Mac;ge's hair rlppled all
over her head in brown curls. Madge' s
eyes were perfect blue-belIs, and so fall
Of the mischief that it overhowrd from
them all over her face: and Madce's
hands and feet were perfect 5ijoatc.
''Leli," she exclaimed pettiShly, to a
friend who stood in the window GRO
cheting, I'm fit subject for the Ia
matte asylum. [ wish you would apply
for admission for me at once. Per-
hans q straight Jacket and a diet of
bread aud cucumbers might do some
thing for me.''
ssycrv we'll PIl annIy. but WHAT'S
the mattero 7 fhon@ht you were feel
inc, ,nrf,.+fv soIrh,;onS Hi, n,orn;no, :,
e.Fools Generally do feel salubrions
7 beliovp and Tn an IDIOT
s.Tben i will be IN entirely different
;,s+;+n+;on vboro T sban hoyo Ia cot
yo, in Rur What has scattered the
s,oaN remainder Of wit with which Won
we're endowed Yesterday. nv unfortu-
f:,la -,