Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1861-08-31
NO. AZ.

By MRS. GEORGE WASHINGTON wYLLYs.

ID AWSs obO0oL WAS0ANOlVN " ukkx6s
"What's that, my dear? pa trip into
the country! Certainly-of course-
60 and enjoy yourselfwith the children
stay as long as you like. Don't be
uneasy I'll get along well enough;
I'm at the Office all day, you know.
Needn't trouble yourself about me
guess haven't forgotten all nv old
bachelor ways and means yet. Two
trunks. three band boxes, and q carpet
bag, the canary-bi DIS cage. and the
travelling basket! All right, Mrs.
Jones. Good bye, my dear-be sure
to write every other day.
And Mr.. Jones struts off down town,
with as much complaccncy IA though
4, he were the Khan of Ta,tary. What
conceitcd little apes these women are
just as if he couldn't keep house!
Does his wife suppose he don't know
frying pan from darning needle? Do
mestic cares, indeed! Well, perhaps it
may take a woman all her spare time to
keep the kettle boiling, and make the
beds; but once let man get the
housekeeping helm into his hands, and
see if he don't manage matters little
more scientifically! 1t all depends on
the amount of intellect you bring to.
bear on these things! On the whole,
Mr.. Jones rather hopes his wife won't
hurry home.
(.S;r weeks later y "Why Ezekiel
Jones! what on earth is the matter
with my gardening fork? 'You took
it to toast bread on 2 should think
you did, by the looks oft! Lived on
toast, did you? Couldn't cook beef
steak, because the gravy ran out of the
pan, and played the mischief with your
fire! Why, I shouldn't be at all sur
prised if you fried it in this utensil.
isn't it frying-pan 2 No, Mr.. Jones,
it's a cullender! How should yom
know the difference Ezekiel, did
suppose men had a little more wit than
to mistake cullendcr for frying-pa
A nice looking bedroom you've got up
stairs, with all the dirty stockings
crammcd under the bureau, and the
wash-bowl full ofcigar ends. Wonder
how often you shook up the feather
bed? You did not suppose it was
necessary That's just mans
housekeeping. Where did all this
crockery come from? The cups and
saucers all got dirty, and you bought
more? 2 A wayvo i lhave been to wash
EN-! you never could get any wa
ter hot Z? Well, that's because you
swept all the ashes and c:nders in a
solid bank under the CRATE, uutil So,
dom and Gomorrah couldn't have
burned there, much less common kind
ling! Mercy on us! what is this
sticky stuff in the soup tureen? You
tried to make a pie, but the -four and
water stuck to your fingers, so you ate
the apples .raw?' What did you know
about pics? you used to see me
make them, and supposed there wasn't
Anything very difficult about the opera
tion?' Let me tell you, Mr.. Jones,
that man don't know every thing!
Wonder what my wash-tubs are doing
out in the middle Of the floor! sYou
thought you would wash ont a pocket
handkerchief or two?' Well, why did
yon not? 'Got your coat cuffs all wet,
and lost the soap down in the wash
tub, and gave it up?' The most .sensi-
bic thing you could have done, IAmust
say! Well. Jones, I've often heard
of chaos, but never fully realized
what it meant, before-n0w begin to
have a little idea oft! AT all events,
won swept the honse neatly for me--you !
think Won might have littlc credit
for thrt? Iftle rr,cisns man hasn't
packed every areck of dus, and dirt
in heap under the bed! Broken CO.
logne bottles-half.bnrm matches
odd slippcrs-candlcs ends and decaycd
al.plcs-crnmpled-up ncwspapers-po-
tato parings-daMp towels, and,
whittlings Of wood! Take me away,.
Jones-ii I look at them smother see-
| ond / shall certainly f;.;nt! And your
wardrobe isn't in any better conditions.
great hole burned through your best
coat at-slecvc-vour vest smeared with pie
making your nice new trowsefs Ill
coal-ashcs and dust- -'-
"Here," says Mr.. JoncA al made .
frantic rush past my wife, and sneceedr
cd in gaining the fivnt door, with her
last words ringing in my ears: II ever
II 20 away, and lcayc you to keep
home apain-' sgsi .7o 2s-Ae--'7s. =.
aAfter all, the paltuy kitshsa badf-
meas, .is not exactly Ii Z man's line. I
dare say / coAl1 do IT, bat I don't
think flltry again. Very spprorrsass-
for Mn. Jones, Idon't doubG hut rD1A.1
or below 'nan's dignity r Fis4 8sszA
~"Good morning, Hsarssks