Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1861-02-08


also have touched my child love and made it
common thing. As it Was, change shrined
it in sorrow-the first had ever known
and time hallowed it.. Reverics, regrets,
designations, dreams Of reunion here, and
hopes which reached far beyond them-all
these became constant visitants of my heart.
| found a secret joy in my sorrow, better than
any of the open joys which were lavished on
my childhood, and nursed it. 1t grew to
be the sacred, secret influence of my life.-
What had loved so well, struggled to at.
tain; the gentlencss, the courtesy, the puri-
ty, which had revered in my child-love, l
strove to emulate and, clinging ever to the
hope that once again should be joined to
her, sought to be worthy of her. For more
than two years, such thoughts guided my
ways, and aftcrward, when other ties and as
sociations surrounded me, was not weaned
from the old; chance meeting stirred up
the wells Of feeling and made my heart leap !;
chance mention Of her, fixed Mt once my
most wandering thoughts. After all Illness,
her remembrance was the sweetest of all the
blessed and peaceful thoughts Of GONZALES
cence, though long years had then crowded
my heart with their pleasures and their pains
1t is not SO strange story as It at first may
seem, the story Of this child-love. Not every
experience will answer it, yet many must :;
for looking back upon that wonderful book
of life, which ever seems strange and new,
as its pages are turned, many will trace upon
the first halfwritten leaves some record,
neither effaccd nor dimmed, where the mys-
terious hook was opened and it's tale begun.
One day heard my child-love was to be
married. Marriage wore to me then just the
colors it was meant to ,wear-the fairest and
the truest felt glad. 1t seemed the full
tillment Of my childish prayers. asked his
name who was to be so much to one, who
had been once my all. Familiar name, and
loathed. could not believe it. I shudder-
ed at It; and once more, with the fervor Of
my most fervent childhood, prayed it might
not be. recalled the scenes through which
| had been with him, face to face. saw him
flushed with wine; heard again his reckless
words; felt again the first ill-defincd shud.
dering, which, even before these, had an
swered his most insinuating courtesies
remembered how, with the foresight Of pa
rental care, he had been quietly outlawed
from my fathers house at his almost first
access to It. Others knew all my knowledge,
and more, and urged me to reveal it to whom
it SO nearly concerned. knew the thank
lessness of such task, and shrunk from it.
Besides, felt its fruitlessness; we had been
so long strangers, to break the strangeness all
at once, and enter with such unwclcome free
dom into her hearts sanctuary, dared not !;
| had no hope that any words of mine would
avail to break the spell which had been cast
over her. Time sped on, and brought her
marriage day.
Afterward time sped still faster, over years
that left me saddehcd in great world where
one by one were lying, as in vast cemetery,
the graves Of loves, and beauties, and hopes.
The shock Of life was upon me, and | had
but little strength to bear it, physical or
spiritual. was an exile from home during
all a long season, and sought, in the quiet Of
mountain village, to gain new lease of
life. Accompanied by an attendant, half
nurse, half companion, wandered every day
through the village walks, and up the noun
tain paths, by sweet hedge-rows and in shady
courses Of a little brook which rippled its
joyous way at the outskirts of the town. In
one Of these excursions, we were seated near
the brook, watching the play of two children,
who sailed their tiny boat upon it, or vainly
sought to catch the busy little fish in its clear
waters. They were boy and girl. The boy,
fair, with mild blue eyes; the girl, dark,
quick, with great black orbs, that were never
for an instant quiet. noted the difference,
contrasting them one with the other, sought
to find some resemblance between them By
degrees, from the features Of the boy, traced
an old familiar portrait; the mild eyes, often
beaming, the winning sweetness of the smile,
the gentleness, reminded me Of child's face
enshrined for many years in the deepest
places of my heart, whose eyes, not less mild,
and smile, not less winning, and gentlcness,
not less gentle, had been to my young years
talisman of good. Tears gathered at the
old memory; in moment more, called the
child to my side. He came slowly and tim
idly balancing himself with childish grace,
inimitable, from stone to stone, in places
where the water touched the bank that was
between him and my resting -phce. When
almost within reach of me store turned be-
meath his foot and precipitated him in the
water. Almost as soon he was in my arms
In slipping, his ankle was spraincd, possibly
broken. The little girl came crying to us,
and pointed, at my bidding, to the cottage
where they lived. Not 10 alarm the mother
fancied busy there, kept the children with
me while my maid Annette went to tell of the
accident. She must have flown, and the
mothers steps. which found their way to us.
were surely winged. The boys tears were
scarcely dried, when he was gently taken
from me, without look-with only quick
Thank you," and then folded close to his
mothers heart. She examined him, she
bent over him with anxious tenderness; she
covered hlm carefully with the shawl offer
ed, and refused to let Annette carry him up
the bank to the house. We followed; .
physician was summoned, who assured us
nothing was broken; and then, for the first
time, as ] rose to leave, her eyes-thoee eyes
of my own dear child love- s-met mine. l
had watched her all the while, and was ready
for the glance and yet it melted me; so sad,
so worn, SO cold, and in an instant changing
to such surprised pain and Joy. / did not
linger, but merely. claimed the privilege ol
coming to enquire about the boy. a.
| Dear little fellow! At his side, diyerting
the long hours in which he was, . prisoner,
won again his mothers heart. She WAS alone
in that sweet retreat with her children. Her
husband was wanderer, an outcast from
everything, save her heart, which clung ID
him with truth, the most perfect fulfilment
I have ever know Of that solemn marriage
VOW, :. For better, for worse, till death US dc
part" fsgs,sa .ra as
We loved each other once again--my child.