Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1861-07-18
Call a Man.

Any one who is disposed to try a laugh will
do well to read on:
John jackson was q very industrious, hard
working man, of twenty three years. Being
the eldest child and the only son, he had al
ways remained at home, assisting his father
upon the farm John was much respected by
every one in the neighborhood, and many
bright-eyed girl had secretly thought that she
would like TO change her name to Mrs.
John Jackson. But John was no ladies'
man" The fact was, John was very hashful.
He would rather hoe potatoes all day than under
go the ceremony OF an introduction TO young
lady. Not that John diSiked the dear crea-
lures far from it. We believe that he in
common with all bashful, well meaning men,
entertained the very highest respect and ad
mraton for them. And this, no doubt, was
the principal cause for his baahtuIIess. lie
felt that they were superior beings and that
he was unworthy to associate with them upon
terms Of equality. Bot we'cannot stop to
morallZe.
Nancy Clark was the daughter of a respect
able farmer, whose lands adjoued the jackson
farm Nancy was pretty, sauncy little witch,
and she liked John Jackson. When they
were children they attended the same school,
and as he was lew years her senior, was US
ually her champion il the childish disputes that
arose, and her companion in going aud return
ing. At last John became so much OF young
man as to be kept from school. John dIscoV-
cred too that he had been growing in stature,
and it seemed as if he had been growing out
of shape His feet and legs appeared very
awkward he djtn'; kuow whatto DO with his
hands his face panied him, and taking all in
all, he was Inclined to think he was not more
than half put together.
Now the Truth was, JOHN Jackson was real
IL fine looking young man, aud uothlrg but
his admiration OF Nancy could have suggested
any such foolish thoughts about himself.
As novciiSts say, it was lovely day in An.
gust The heavens were clear, serene aud beau
tIuI, the trees we're laden with golden fruit,
and the beautiful birds twittercd their songs Of
love in the branches EARTH (there-we've
Slid down to earth once more such lofty
fllghts-they make our head dizzy We were
about to say that earth had yielded her boun-
tfui harvest OF years grass and clover, and
boneySuckleS, which the noble yeomanry OF
CheSteryi.le had earned within their storehous-
es''-but upon u second thought have conclud-
ed to word it thus =" The farmers of Ches
terviIIe were done haying."
John ,JackSon's sister had quilting that af-
, teruoon uisfather had gone to " keath's
Mill" TO get some wheat ground, and John
was left to repair some tools, to be ready on
the morrow 10 commence moving the meadow
grass Suddenly it occurred to John that If
he remained about the house in the afternoon,
he wou!d be called in at tea time and required
to do the houorS Of the table. To avoid this
he quietly shouldered his scythe and stole away
to the meadow, half mile distant, fully lyreSoIy-
ed that be would not leave there until it was
so dark that he could not see to NOV, and
avoid seeing the girls.
The meadow was surrounded on all sides by
a thick forest which effectually shnt out what
Little breeze there might chance to be stirring.
The sun poured It's rays as though the little
meadow was the focus point where the heat
was concentrated. John moved and sweat
sweat and moved until he was obliged to sit
down and cool off Then it occurred to John
that if he took off his pants, he might be much
more comfortable. There could be no impro-
p:iety in it, tor he was entirely concealed from
observation, and there was not the slightest
reason to suppose that he could be seen by any
person.
SO John stripped off, and with no cover save
his lnen-cOmmOnly called snlft-he reSuuieu
his work He was just congratuating him
self upon the good time he was having, aud the
lucky escape he had made from meeting with
the girls, when he chanced to disturb huge
black snake, a genuine twister with white
ring around his neck.
John was no coward but was mortally afraid
of snake Self preservation was the first
passage that flashed upon Johns mind
Dropping his scythe and spinning round like
top he was ready to strike 2:4O gait, when
at that moment the snake was near enough to
hook his crooked teeth into Johns shirt just
above the hem With tremendous spring
he started off with the speed of a loco motive.
/ His first jump took the snake clear from the
ground, and as John stole hasty glance over
| his shoulder, he was Mortified to find the rep
tile securely fastened to the extremity OF his
garment, while the speed with which he rush