Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1861-07-25
9Dit aR0 ajamur.

Patrick, do they have any bees in the
Old country?
Sure they do, and they are as large
as little pigs.
%, CANNON, Patrick but do they
have many of them there p
Sure, yer 'onor, is II to puzzle me
yc'd be after 2
No, honor bright
There they have twice as many as in
this country
Bet what kind of houses do they put
them in? 2
They make their hives twice as large
as yours
But if they are so many times larger
than ours, and twice as many, and yet
the hives only as large again, how do
they all go inY
Sure, Of that | cant say-that's their
own looi; out Maybe they take turns
A Sailor, just at the close of dark
night, was sent alolt to see if he could
sight a light After short time he was
hailed by the captain with;
Masthead, there.
Ay, ay, sir.
Do you see light?
Yes, sir
What light?
Daylight, sir
The lookout was ordered down " ith a
run.
DO you pretend to intimate, sir, that
my butter is old 2
Not old enough to have lost its hair,
dear madam
Speaking OF apples, it is rather re-
markablc that the first apple in Paradise
should have turned out the first pair.
Nobody ever lost anything by love-
said certain person. That's not true,
said lady who heard the remark, for
| once lost three nights Sleep
When Jack visited Vermont, where
they have pie for breakfast. he was ire
weren't enough to remark that the people
of the Green Mountain State we're
some for early pie-ty!
A boozy fellow was observed, one day,
driving 'porker, holding on to its tail,
and when asked what he was doing, re-
piled that he was studying gehogra ply
An old lady who had been frightened
by the running off of a horse, was after
wards asked how she felt when the ami
NAL was plunging
oh, said she, i trusted in Providence
tiR The Lreechin' brOte, and then | had to
look out for myselfp
An editor acknowledges the receipt Of
a bottle of brandy 43 years old, and says:
This brandy is SO old we fear it cannot
live much longer.
How to tell when the honey -moon is
past--when a man kisses his wife as he
would take pills.
OF what nation are all stocken men-
ders? Darnation.
a model return upon writ was re-
Gently made by deputy sheriff in Nor
Starved the within, but was fit with
brick bats by the woman so that L
| couldn't sarvc it,
My dear Jeff Davis, it is useless for
you to curry favor with the crowned
heads abroad Your most intimate re-
lations will not be with Europe, but with
Our rope
The Charleston Mercury compares Gen.
Scott to an old hen. We guess he'll lay
secession.
A lady in Rochester sent dress to a
dyer, with instructions to dye it some
color that would rot run. The patriotic
dyer returned the dress covered all over
with the colors of the American Union.
An exchange asks very innoccntly if
it is any harm to sit in the lapse of ages.
Our opinion is that it denends upon the
kind OF ages selected. Those from eigh-
teen to twenty-five We consider rather
hazardous.
Gov jackson would be an admirable
billiard player, he makes such good runs.
The heaviest item for the main tenance
Of the secession army-its running ex-
penses.
The ladies' who wear red, white and
blue rosettcs are real patriots, and there
fore ready for an engagement.
Dentst-a man who finds work for
his own teeth by taking out those of 9TH
er people.