Daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1865, 1861-02-09

eNses Mt full rates. " -
MIsErisges Ig Notlees Of Funerals and announcements
: , sermons, oO cents each. nOvll'50
z b THE5LADY IN THE COACH.
"Inside or out, rna'rm?'' asked the coach
his hand aa
"lr you please, Phi try IN first, p. answered
the woman, pcking in an umbrella before
heri and then pair of pattens, "I'm not
used to coaching, and don't think / could
keep myself on the top
In she came, and after some flOundering,
having first tried two gcntlemcn's laps. she
found herself in the centre of the front
seat, where she composed herself with
something Of the air of Catherine Hayes
getting into sledge for n trip to Tyburn.,
Except for her fear, which literally made
q fright Of her, should have called her n
pretty-lOOking woman; hut the faces she
pulled were horrible. As the cad enclosed
her luggage in the hiud-boot with n smart
slam, her features underwent an actual
spasm and heard her whisperto herself,
Something broke AS she spoke thus,
she started on her feet, and the horses do
ing the same thing at the same moment;
the timi1 female found herself suddenly
@ugging the strange gentleman opposite,
for which she excused herself hy saving.
.''she wasn't accustomed to be so carried
away" l55.
Down she pumped again in her old
place, but her physiognomy didn't i'm
prove, She seemed in torture, as If bro
ken, not upon one wheel. hut upon four
Her eyes rolled, her eyebrows worked up
and down, MS if trying to pump out tears
that wouldn't come-her lips kept going
like II rabbits though she had nothing 10
eat, and tnncied l could hear her grind
ing her teeths Her hands, meanwhile,
convulsiEely grasped a bundle on her lap,
tili something like orange juice squeezed
out between her fingers. When the coach
went on one side, she gulutehbd tho arm Of
While eheSer of her tntighb6ts sast highest.
and at Ptael,7 shy l-ssi. hold of botlia Al
tast7ehR sndiehij turned pale aud ON
what hastily suggested that she perhaps
did not prefer to ride backwards.
"If its all the same to you, sir, should
really be glad to change seats" -
2 The removal was effected, not without
difficulty, for she contrived to tread on all
oar feet, and hang on all our necks, before
she could snbs:dc. 1t was managed, how
ever, aud there we sat again, ris a ms, il
such phrase may be used where one vis-
age was opposed to visagcs iunumerahle,
for if her fnce was her fortune she screwed
ms much out of it rs she could. She hard
ly needed to speak, but she did so after u
short interval
Hl hope you'll excuse me, but can't
ride fOrrlrds neither"
"The airs what you want, mn'am,n said
n stout gentleman in the corner.
Yes, ! think that irOUld revive me-
said the female, with what musicians
called yelled voice, through her hand
kerchief.
"Let the lady OuGY squealrd little
man, who sat on her left, whilst u stout
gentleman on her right, after looking in
vain for chcck-striug, gave "a pull nj the
corner OF the Grcat-cOat thHt'hung over the
window, almost pulling the owner or the
roof The+chFonometer stopped
'lts the LADY," said the little man to the
coachman, MS the latter appeared at the
door; ''she wants to be inside OUT
.'lt's as the gentleman says" added the
female; u ain't quite myself, but ], dout
want to affect the fare. You shah't be any
loser, for I'll discharge in full.p9 -
There's the whole dicky, now, to your
self, nia'am,' said the coachman with
something like wink, and after some
scutiting and scramhling, we felt her seat
ing herself on the backgammon board us
IT she never meant to be taken up. ~
at seems unGallant," said the little
napsas we got into motion again !; "but /
think women ouglin't to travel, particulAr-
-ly in what are called short stages, for
they're certain to make them long ones,
First of all, they have hecn told 10 make
sure of the right coach, and they spell il
all over, from Horne & Co and 'liceiised
to carry, to number nine thousand four
teen hundred and nine. Then they never
believe the cads. If one cries Hackney
they say That means Camberwell," and
I've had enough of getting into wrong
stages. They have to ascertain If its the
hrst coach, and when it will start exactly i;
and when they're sure of both points,
they're to be hunted for in Ripastry cooks
shop and out of that into fruiterer's.-
AT last you think you have lem--but no
such thing All the luggage is TO be put
In under their own eyes-there's Wrangle
OF course, about that--Rnd when they're
all ready, With one foot on the stem.
they've been told to make iheir bargain
with tue coaehman before they getIiu." q
My mother to a T." exclaimed tile fat
man; ''she agreed with Rfly man. at .IiFigh.
ton, TO convey her to the Devils Dyke for
twelve shillings; but when it came TO set
ting of she couldn't resist the spirit of
haggling. Says she, ,what will YOU take
me TO lie Devil for, without the Dyke ~
A loud scream interrupted any further
Illustration of female travelling, and again
the ehronometer stopped, losing at the 'rate
of ten mile an hour. We all had shrt.yFrl
guess At the caHse, but the little man
thoughts tneTeaheless, proper to pop his
little head out of the RiTid6w, and INQUIRE
with big voice, ''what the plaeue,wie
were stopping for2H
ats the lGdy agin, SIR said the coach
man in dissatisfied tone. -tShe says the
dicky shakes so, she's sure it will come o d.
but its all right now-Pre got her In
Its YtFyig 2 said the iittleman; -but