White Cloud Kansas chief. [volume] (White Cloud, Kan.) 1857-1872, 1861-01-24
Beebe's Iessage.


of Beebs's first born. which bantling ev-
identity "cams before it, time" It Is an
extraordinary documsat-in fact. we msy
say it is .'sockms,ical." We had thought
that Sammsdary's effort in The msssigs
line came - near being burlssqus upon
State papers a. could be; bat Bssbs's
takes the premium-it i . burlesque up
on sammedary'sI Hogologists tell us
that the last and youngest of litter Of
pigs is the "runt." 1t is probable that
Besbe is the last Of the tremendous litter
of Kansas Federal Governors. and We
think he 10 the runt-at any rate. his
message is the runt Of al the messages.
While Sammedsry was Governor. and
Walsh Secretary. We solacsd oursslf with
the reflection that the former was "souse." I"
if the latter was vinegar; but since Bssbs
has assumed the duties of both Offices. we
have "souss and vinegar" combined
old cider vinegar. and souss made Of
pigs tail
As q specimen Of polite literature. the
message is . masterpieces. It abounds
in every style Imaginable. The reader
will recognize the ssyfes Of Buchanan.
Carlyle. Senator Douglas. Wigfall. Da-
boil. 1.-THE Arithmetic man. Gsorgs Lip.
psrd. and Holy Writ. It teens with
the mathematical. the srgumentstive. the
logical. the admonitory. the supplicatory.
the pathetic. the lschrymoss. the patriot
ic. the hifalutiu. the prophetic. the sub
lime, and the ridiculous. But of oil the
styles in which the message abounds. the
principal one is the style Of Beebs. 1t
stands forth prs.eminent in every para
graph. rendering the message peculiarly
Bsebeish-in other words. Boobyish!
After telling the members Of the Leg
islature that they care met under cir.
cumstancss Of no ordinary interest. I"
(sach as granting divorces. establishing
Territorial Roads, listening to the read
ing Of his message. ETC.. he branches out
into puff of Sammsdsry-the whole Of
which. being boiled down to its essence.
means. Sammedary was . h-ll Of q
man, and have his boots r
Then he tells how he is impressed with
the hsnor and dignity of bis position !;
and intimatss that If the members see fit
to act otherwise than he suggests, he will
probably permit them to. He warns
them not to pass any laws in violation Of
the Constitution or the Organic Act, for
they will be illegal, to say nothing Of be-
ing inconsistent and absurd but, from
some oversight, he nsglscts to caution
them against rspealing any Of the acts of
the British Parliament, or the Mosaic law
enjoining circumcision!
He next givse, some figures from the
books of the Territorial Auditor. This
is work which requisss = lsug heaa. a.
every schoolboy knows. who has been in
the habit Of copying ths solutions Of diff
6cult arithmeticsl problems from the
"Key." s.. .-g.
Beebs next comes down on the Regis.
try law admits that the last Legislature
repealed 1t, but wants the present one to
repeal it more Beebe is . close obssr-
yer Of things in general. and the practices
of the savage dsnizsns of the Western
wilds have not been unobservsd by him.
The last Legislature having killed the
Registry law. he wants the present one
to scalp it Or. to use q plainer but
more homely illustration. last Winters
Legislature killed the pole-cat. and he
desires the Legislature now in session to
do something to take away the stink
The Educational system of the Terri
tory "fails to meet his appreciation. Of
course-it would be better for his party,
if We had no system of Education at all.
We now come to his reference to the
Liquor Law. 1t is Sublime. We can't
do Justice to the subject. and must give
It in his own words. 1t has never besn
squallsd, save in the instance of the young
lady who exhausted. all the words in
Wsbstsr's Unabridged, together with the
entire vocabulary Of medical terms to be
foand in the doctor books. to communi
cate the interesting fact that she had the
bslly.sche He ssys: ~
There exists statute passed during the
session of 1859. entitled IAN Act to rs-
strain Dram Shops and Tsvsrns, and
Regulate the Sale Of Intoxicating Ii
quors." intended no doubt. and by some
prevalent hallusination generally suppos-
Cd. to bs favorsSls = - suppression Of
the unlicsnsed sale Of intoxicating liquors;
its real effect. however. inasmuch ss it
has bssn found 50 vague and contradicto-
~ in its terms - to render conviction
under it impossible. is to leave the traffic
entirely unrsstrainsd. II. in your opin-
ion, the interests Of society demand IL
csnss law at all. you can better mset that
requirement, BY the passsgs Of an entire
ns- Act than hv etfSmnffu0 bv amend.