The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1861-03-29
The Fleet BARRIERS Marriage.

The Fleet Barber's Marriage.
Lady G. was beautiful, but extravagant-
She was single. though rather passed ex
treme youth. Like some other pretty te-
males, She had looked too high, and estima-
ted her own loveliness too dearly. and now
she refused to believe tina, she was not as
charming as ever. SO no wonder she still
remained unmarried
Lady {. had abou: five thousand pounds
in the world. She owed about forty thousand
pounds 50. with all her wit and beauty, she
got into the Fleet, and was likely to remain
there.
Now, in the time We speak of, every lady
had her head dressed by barber and the
barber of the Fleet was the handsomest bar
ber of the city of London. Pat Philan was
great admirer of Il fair sex aud where's
the wonder Sure Pat was an lrishman.-
1t was one very fine morning, when Philan
was dressing her captivating head, that her
lady ship took it into her mind to talk TO him.
and Pat was well pleased, TOR Lady C.s teeth
were the whitest, and her smile the brightest
in all tie world.
so YOU are not married, Pat said she.
'Niver an inch, Your honors adyship,'
said Pat.
And wouldn't you ike to be married . a
gain asked she.
Would duck like TO swim .
Is there any one you'd prefer p
May be, madame said he, Won niver heard
OF ka,aleen O'Reilly, down beyond Done
ra.le. Her fathers cousin to ODonaghew,
who's own steward TO Mr. Murphy, the under
agent to my Lord Kingston, and
Hush said SHE, sure, don't want to
know " no she is. Blu, would she have you
if YOU asked her .
All. thin, Id only wish Ia be after THRIVING
that same.
And why don't you?'
'becas,', I'm too poor.
And ph.lan hra.rI prodiyious sigh
Would YOU like TO be rich y
Does a dog like to bark ,?
III make YOU rich, will you do as tell
YOU :?
mur,hers. your honor, don't be tan
talizlng apoor boy
Indeed, am not said she. so Iisten.--
How would you like to marry me -
An, l't", my iduN l otIt|t tle Mug U!
Russia himself would be proud to DO tia,
same, lave alone poor divil like Pa; PHI
Ian
We'll, Phlan, if you'll marry me to-mor-
row, I'll give you one thousand pounds.
g, whilabaloo. whIabaioo. Sure I'm mad
or enchanted by the good people, roared Pat,
dancing round the room.
But there are conditions, said Lady c.
After ,he first day Of our nuptals you must
never see me again, nor claim me for your
wife
Il don't | Ike that said Pat, for he had been
oglins her ladyship most desperately.
But remember ka,aeen O'Reilly. With
the money Ill give You, you may 60 and mar
ry her.
That's thruc,' said he But, thin, the big
amv q
Ill never appear against you,' said her Ia
dyshlp. Only remember you must take ar
oath never to call ME your wife after to-mor.
row, and never to 80 telling the story
'Nver word Ill iver say
! We'll, then, said she, there's ten pounds
Go and buy license, and leave the rest tc
me, and then she explained to him where h,
was to go, and when he was to come, and all
that kind of thing.
The next day Pat was true to his appoint
ment, and found two gentlemen already with
her IadyShp.
Have YOU got the license q said she
Here 1t is. my lady said he, and he gave
it to her. She handed it to one Of gentle
men, who viewed it atten:ively. Then, call
ing IN her two Servents, she turned to the
gentleman who was reading.
And sure enough, iii ten minutes, Phlar
was the husband, the legal husband, of tht
lovely Lady {.
'Tha: will do said she to her new husband
as he gave her hearty kiss, that will do
Now, sir, give me my marriage certificate, i
you please.
The old gentleman did so. and, bowing re
spectfully to the ive-pound note she CAV.
him, he retired with his clerk for, sure e
nough, had forgot to tell you that he was {
parsol.
Go and bring me the ~arden,' said nv la
dy to one of her servants.
Yes, my lady, said ne and presently tn,
warden appeared.
will you be good enough said Lady C.. il
voice that would call bird off a tree. will
you be good enough to send and fetch me {
hackney-coach !? lwish to leave this prison
Immediately.
Your Iadyship forgets,' replied he, thai
You must pay forty thousand pounds before
car let you 60
4 am a married woman. You can detair
my husband, but not me-
And she smiled at Phlan. who began ratb
er to dislike the appearance of things
Pardon me, my lady, it is well known you
are single
i tell you am married
Where's your husband?'
( There, sir = and she pointed to the aston
ished barber. There he stands. Here is m,
marriage certificate, which you can peruse a,
i your leisure. My servants yon.ler were wit
nesses Of the ceremony. Now detain me
sir, at your peril
The warden was dumbfoundel, and NJ
wonder. Poor Philan would have spoken