The Bedford gazette. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1805-current, 1861-08-02
THE WAR FEVER In BALDlNSVILLE.
BY ARTEMUs WARD.


sed 1t was cheerin to see that gigantic InteIeck
among 'em onct more. That's what he called
ne. l like thesschoal master, and alters send
bin tobacker when Pm off on traveln cam
pane. Besides he is very sensible man.
Such men must be encouraged.
They don'tgit news very fast at Baldvinsville,
as nothln but plank roads runs IN there twice
week, and that's very nsuch out OF repair So
tay naoerS wasn'tmuch posted up in regard to
TIE wars. Squire Baxter sed he'd voted the
Dimocratic ticket for goin on forty years, and
the war was dam black republican lie. Joe
stackPole who kills hogs for the Squire, and has
got powerful muscle into bis arms, sed he'd
bet 80 he could lick the Crisis IN fair stand
up fight, if he wouldn't draw knife on him.
30 1t went-sum was for war, and sum was for
peace. The school master, however, sed the
Slave OlIgarky must cover at the feet of the
North ere year had flowed by, or pass over his
dead corpse. "Esto perpetua ~ he added, 'and
sine qua non also-!" sed l, sternly, wishing to
make impression onto the villagers. "Re-
qulescat IN pace % sed the school master. sToo
iToo, too troo," answered, Sits scanderlus
fact 10
The newspapers got along at last, chock full
OF war, and the patriotic fever fairly bust out in
Baldnsvile. Squire Baxter sed he didn't be-
lleVe IN Coercion, not one of 'em, and could
prove by file of Eagles of Ltberty in his gar
fit, that it was Wing lie, got up to raise the
price of whisky and destroy our other liberties.
But the old Squire got putty riley when he
heard how the rebels were cuttin up, and he
sed he reckoned he should skour up his old mus
KIT and do little square fitin for The Old Flag,
which had alters bin on the ticket he'd voted,
and he was too old to Bolt now. The Squire
rs all right at heart, but it takes longer for him
10 fill his venerable Biler with steam than it
used to when he was young and frisky. As
previously informed you, | am Captain of the
BaldinsvIlle Company. I riz gradooally but
maiestlcally from drummerS' Secretary 10 my
present position. But found the ranks wasn't
iuli by no means, and commenced to recroot.-
Havin noIst gineral desire on the part OF
young men who are into the Crisis 10 wear ep-
pyl:ts, determined to have my company COM
posed exclusively OF ofiiSsers, everybody to
sata.ae salte,r1C,ip-.l. The Tas
mong !he varis questions winch put to recroots:
Do you know masked battery from hunk
of gingerbread
Do you know epPylt from piece of chalk?
II / trqsb you with real gun, how many
men OF your own company do you speck you
can manage to kill durin the war!
Hav you ever heard of Ginral Price, of Gin
raj Price, of Missouri, and can you avoId simler
accidents in case OF battle!
Hav you ever had the measels, and if so how
many?
How air you now?
Show me your tongue, &C., sc. Sum OF the
questions was sarcuSsllcal.
Tho cOpppanU 6liad raptd and lar+ Cun-
day we went to the meetn house IN full uni
form. l had seris time gittin into my militia
ry harness. as ii was bilt for me many wears
ago but finally got inside of 1t, tho il fitted
me putty clost. However, onct into il, lookt
fne-in fact, aw insplrin. ''Do you know me,
Mrs, Ward 2" sed /, walkin into the kitchin.
"Know you, you old fool? OF course do"
/ saw at onct that she did.
| started for the meetin house, and I'm fraid
| tried TO walk too Strate. for | cum very near
falin over backwards; and in attemptin TO re-
cover myself, my sword got mixed up with my
legs, and fell in among choice collection OF
young ladies, who was standin near The church
door a-seein the Sojer boys come up. My cockt
hat fell off, and sumhow my coat-tales got twis-
ted round my neck. The young ladies put
their hankerchers 10 their mouths and remark
ed ''fe he," while my ancient female single
friend, Sary Peasley, bust out into loud laIi.
She exercised her mouth SO violently that her
new false teeth fell out onto the ground.
"Miss Peasley," Sed gittin up and dustin
myself, "you must be more careful with them
sore teeth OF yodr'n or you'll hav to gum it
again !"
Methinks | had her.
I'd bin to work hard all The week, and felt
rather snoopy. Pm 'fraid did git half asleep
for on hearln the minister ask, "Why was
man made to mourn % | sed, 81 Civ it up"
havin vague dee that il was a ccnundrum.-
1t was onfortinlt remark, for the whole meet
in house lookt at me with mingled surprise and
Indignation. was about risIn TO pint OF or
der, when tsuddenly occurd to me WHARF
was, aud kept my seat, blushln like the red,
red rose-so TO speak.
The next mornin | rose with The lark. IN,
B.-I don't sleep with The lark, tho. A goak)
My little dawter was execootin ballIds ac-
companyn herself with the hand orgin and she
wisht me to linger and hear her sing ''Hark
hear angel singin, angel now is onto the
wing"
'Let him fly, my child !" sand |. a-buckin
on my armer, 81 must forth to my BIZ"
We al: progressin pretty well with our drill.
As all air commandn otfissers, there aim: no
jelusy and as we air all exceedin smart, it amt
worth while TO try to outstrip Zach other. The
idee of company composed exclusively OF
Commannders-In-Chlefs orrIggernated, spose
sRurcely need say, IN these Brane Consd-
cred as idee, flatter myself it is putty hefty.
We've got all the tacticks at our tong's ends,
but what we particly excel III is restin muskits.
We can rest muskits with ANYBODY Our
corpse will do its duty. We go TO the aid of
Columby-we fight for the stars