The Placer herald., 1861-06-29

Doesticks eats Opium How he Felt.
Doesticks took dose of opium the other
day. He says:
The blissfu effects began to come along
in the course Of half AN hour. First was
had good many valuable houses in the
city; owned half the New York Central
Railroad, and had SO much prairie la d in
Michigan, Wisconsin and Minnesota that
couldn't run from one end of it to the other
in two days. on lightning express train.
Then | had wife, IN fact two wives-and
in twenty minutes had twenty wives-alI
beautiful, accomplished and atfectionate
Then was hero, just returned from war,
after killing eighteen thousand men, and
was receiving due honors. Then the .Sun
day Mercury had raised my salary to three
hundred dc HAIRS a week, and just sent in
their check for five weeks back salary. Then
had more wives thirty more -handsomer
than the first ones, and richer. Then was
patriot. had just returned from Wash
neton after assassina'ny JAS. Buchanan, and
was receiving the plandits of a grateful na
ton therefor Then somebody had died
and left me more property, and was a
charitable benefactor, and was relieving all
the wants of the poor folks in the city,
giving every man three barrels of potatoes
and red cart and gray jackass to drag
them home for him.
Then the Sunday Mercury had raised my
salary to a thousand dollars a week, and was
paviag me three months salary in advance.
Then | was hero again-of another varie-
tv this lime | had Just saved thousand
lives or so, and the city was in delight
about me. Then had more wives-loveli
er then before and richer-each one with
her pockets full of seed pearls, and three
pecks Of diamonds stitched into h,r petit
coats. Then | was a king and bossing
every body and everything TO my hearts con
tent, and theirs Then all my wives had
large families that hadn't seen before-all
boys all soldiers and all generals: then they
we're all politicians, and all Presidents of
Republics; then they were all Editors; then
all Merchants: then all Clergymen and all
Beechers; but whatever they were, | was The
father of them all, and they numbered a
hundred, then a thousand, then ten thous
and Then the Sunday Mercury had raised
v.
dollars week aionery + und and gas
bills pad for me-and the proprie,ors had
Just sent mo round two years pay in advance,
in gold, and sixty draymen were dumping it
into the cole hole by the cart load.
Then began to be more ex'ravagant, and
undergo various metamorphoses. First |
was freezer of vanilla ice cream, then |
was a gold fish, then was new baby, with
husband interested, and enthusiastic rea
ton: then | was a Christmas; then ! was a
balloon bound stiaight for the moon, and
With gas enough to carry me there, and with
letters of introduction to the man Of that
interesting planet; then | was sixteen
round trout, and Barnum had bought me
for thousand dollars; then | was clipper
ship, the pride of the country; then | was a
Pages Venus; then | was a canary bird,
with five extra notes to my palate; then |
became flying fish; then became shark
and swallowed the flying fish | had just been;
| changed into a sailor, and speared the
sh ark that was minute before; then |
became the boatswain, and fogged the sail
or who had speared me when ! shark;
then was a slung shot, and caved the head
of the boa,swan who hogged me; then
was a ,liceman who melted down the slug
shot; then was Police Commissioner;
then became the people, and elected new
Commissioner; then, as the people got my.
self into an election riot; then changed
INTO the military, and artilleryed myself as
the people, and bayoneted myself as the peo'
and charged on myself, and dispersed myself;
then was suddenly metamorphosed into a