The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1861-11-13
WHOLE NO. 265.
ward Among tho spirits.

Aitemus Ward Among tho Spirits.
My naburs is mourn harf crazy OH the
new tangled i,lear about Sperrets Srer-
retual Slrclcs is held nitcly i 4 or 5 long
harcd fellers has settled here and gone into
the sperret bizness exclusively. An at
tempt was made to git Mrs. 4. Ward to
embark into the sperret bizness but the at.
tempt failed. Of the long hared fellers
told her she was a ethereal creetur / would
make sweet mejium, whareupon she At.
tact him with mop handle L drove him
out Of the house. will hear obsarve that
Mrs. Ward is an invalerable womun-the
partner Of my goys & the shairer Of my
sorrers. In my abSuncc she watchis nv
interests with eagle Eye L when return
she welcums me in afectionate stile. Troo-
ly it is with us as it was with Mr.. l. Mrs.
lngomer in the play, to whit:
souls with = single thawt,
hsrts which beat ~ l.
Ny naburs injoosed me to attend a Sper.
rettooul Sircle at Squire Smiths. When
aTrove found the east room chock full. in.
cloodin all the old maids in the village l.
the long hared fellers a4said When went
in and was salooted with hear Gums the
benighted man'-'hear Gums the horev.
heded unbcleevcr'-hearc Gums the skofer
at trooth,' etsettery, etsettery.
Sez my frcns it's troo I'm hear, & now
bring on your Spcrrcts.'
of the long hared fcllers riz up and scd
he would state few remarks. He sed man
was crittcr Of intellec 4 was movin on to
a COLE. Some men had bigger intel.ccs than
other men had, and they would git to the
COLE the soonest. Sum men was beests &
would never git into the sole at ALL He sed
the Firth was mateIiul but man was imma-
teriul, Il hens man was different from the
Erth. The Erth, continnered the speaker,
resolves round on its own axletree onct in
"a ours, but as man haint got no axlstree
he cant resolve. He sed the etheryal cs-
sunce Of the koordinatc branchis Of super
human natur becum mettymorfussed as
man progrest in harmonyal coexistence l.
turned into regular scrretuallers. This
was versifftrusly applawded by the cumpa-
ny, and as make it pint to git along as
pleasantly as possibcl, sung bully for you
old boy.'
The cumpany then drew round the table
and the Sirkle komlnenst to 20 it. Thew
axed me if there was any body in the Sper-
ret land which wood like to converse
with. l sed if Bill Tompkins, who was
onct my partner in the show bizncss, was
sober, l should like to convarse with him a
few periods.
is the sperret Of Williams Tompkins
present !? said of the long hared chaps,
Il there was three knox on the table.
Sez William, how goze it Old Sweet
ness?
Pretty ruff, old hoss,' he replde.
That was pleasant way We had Of ad-
dressin each other when he was in the
flesh.
Air you in the show Liznsss, William p
sez I.
He sed he WAS. lie scd he l. John Bun.
yum was travelin with side show in con.
nection with Shakspecr, johnson & Co.
Sircus. lie sed old Bun (,neanin Mr.. Bun
YUM stird up the annimils and groancd the
origin, while he tended doar. Occashunally
Mr.. Bunyun sung coR,ick song. The
Sircus was doin mi,lln we'll. Bill Shaks-
peer made . splendid hit with Old Bob Rid.
ley, and Ben johnson was delitin the peple
with his trooly CRATE Ak Of hoss,nanship
without saddul or bridul. They was re-
hersin Dixey's Land, 4 expected it would
mock the pcplc "@
Sez |, william, my lovely Trend. can
you pay me that l3 dollars YOU owe me p
He sed no, with / of the most tremeniis
knox ever experiunscd
The Sircle sed he had gone. Air Won
gone, William ? l axed.
'Rayther, he replide, & knowcd it was
no use to pursoo the subjcc further.
l then called fur my father.
'How's things, daddy
'Midlin, my son, midlin;
Amt you proud Of your orfun boy!'
Scarcely
why not, my parient!'
'Becawz you have CORN to writin fur the
noospapcr, my son. Bimcby you'll lose all
your karacter fur trooth l. verrasserty.-
When ] helpt you into the show biznsss l
told you to dignity that there pcrfession.
Literatoore is low
lie also statid that he was doin midlin
well. tho the clymit was rayther warm.
When the Sircle stopt they axed me
what thawt Of it. 7t. ..- e..
Sez |, my frens, I've been into the show
bizness now goin on 13 years. Theirs an
artikil in the Constitooshun Of the United
Stats which says in effeck that everybody
may think jest as he darn pleeses, & them
Is my sentyments to hare. You dowtl,s
believe this Sperret doctrin, while think
it is little mkt. Jest so soon as man
bccums regular out & out Sperret rapper
he leeves orf workin, lets his hare grow all
over his face i coMmensis spungin his liv-
in OF Of other peple. He eats all the dick.
Summaries he can lind & gozc round chock
full OF big words, scarein the wilnmin foxes
Il little children & destroYin the piece Of
mind Of every famcrlee he enters. He can't
do nobody no good 4 is a cuSs to society
d pirit on honest peple's corn beef bar
rils. Adnittin all you say abowt the doc
trine to DC troo, must say the reglar pro.
fessional Sperret rappers them as makes
a bizncss on lt-air abowt the most emery
set Of cusses | ever encountered in my life.'
SO saying put on my surtoot and went
home. Respectfully Yures,
A. WARD.