Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1861-12-07
THE BITERs BIT.

can Museum, New York, received the
roam Of a coat and after viewing the Curl
osities, stopped with the garment, obtain
ing sight of the elephant and swallow.
tail for twenty five cents. This reminds
/. US Of an affair that occurred in 1910, on
! board the old Columbus, when she lay at
Charleston navy yard. One day long,
green Nermonter struggled on board the
frigate, and examined everything on deck
with curions eyes. The officer of the
watch, from his bearing and the neatness
Of his uniform, attracted the Yankee $
notice.
"Got pretty good place here, hey7'
he inquired.
The officer assen,ed
"What wages do you get y
"One hundred and twenty five dollars a
month
lone hundred and twenty FIVE dollars !
All to yourself! Shoh =
Fact, sir
oval, wonder if couldn't get some-
thing to do here, myself?'
"Oh, yes; you'd make a pretty coed
midshipman.
"Wal, what are midshipman's wages,
for green hand ~
Forty dollars a month only
"Only forty dollars. Jerusalem Why,
was told to hire out for ten But where
can be made a midshipman on9 Say,
quick I"
Down below. sir, in the storage. As
soon as IN relieved III see to it,"
Own went the quizzer and the quizzed.
a IF Asl, M
prompting to perpetrate piece Of mis-
chief. A spurious warrant was soon made
out and the greenhorn equipped in a
splendid uniform, including an elegant
chapeau and costly sword. by joint con-
tribu,ion of the mess. Thus furnished,
he was directed to present himself to
Commodore s., in the cabin, and report
ready for duty. He was told that the
Commodore might be pretty grutl'-' it
was a way he had but not to mind it
The steerage being full, the new mdship-
man was to deuiand quarters in the Com
modore's cabin in fact, he was ordered
to take possession OF a certain state room.
The Commolore's black looks--hc had no
rlgh: to use either. Thus posted up
the victim presented himself to the Com.
modore, with
"Old hoss, how are you p
S., stared he had come across a rara
avis. "Take seat. sir
al kin help myself, old fellow-I gin.
orally do" was the reply Of the Vermonter,
as he flung himself into one seat and
crossed his legs upon another.
"You are one Of the new midshipmen,
I suppose ?" remarked the Commodore,
who ;rem the first suspected something.
amt nothin' else.'
Shall l trouble for your warrant?"
Catch hold, old boy"
The Commodore looked at the document,
and then at his visitor
"Whu gave you this ?"
The fellers down stars-and I'm now
ready for duty
That's enough Now you can GO
Not as you know on, squire. The
cellars chock tul-and amt goin' out
Of this ere in hurry, tell you, ., you
needn't rare up, old fellow. | see what's
the matter-you're a leetle cracked up
here And the brilliant youth touched
his forehead with his fore finger
am going into this ere chamber to
take right good snooze-boo,s and all,
by savy!'
AS he was proceeding to execute this
menace, the Commodore took him by the
arm and led him to the gangway. Point
ing to the sentinel, he remarked mildly
You see that man with musket now
if you don't clear out directly, and leave
the ship yard and never to show your face
again, I'll order him to shoot youl'
The Yankee broke--and in two sec ,nds
his blue coat tail was seen floating in the
rear, as he dashed out of the yard with
the speed Of flying jackass.
In minute afterwards, half dozen
terrified mdshipmen rushed on deck and
asked for liberty go ashore.
Young gentlemen said the Commo-
dore. 81 grant no liberty day"
Six faces fell " feet, aud six young
jokers returned to their mess room as mel,
cncholy as mutes at an alderman's funeral
They never saw or heard anything Of the
Yankee sfterward-nor the uniform either.
A SURPLUS OF WOMEN. The English
press notice the fact tnat there are 500, coo
more women than men in Great Britain,
and ask with some alarm. if the social
evil and the Mormon emigration, are not
due to this preponderance Strange to
say, the Mormon emigration from England
is now composed mainly, at least Of two
thirds, Of the gentler sex; fact which
shows that the poor and unsducated class
Of women are less afraid Of rivals than of
enforced old ma,dhood.
To CURE THE CRoUp-The following is
highly recommended by an exchange
"A piece Of fresh lard, as large as but.
ter nut, rubbed up with sugar, in the same