, 1861-09-26

= |.IN
A certain barber, having a great gin Of CAB,
used 20 amuse his customers with his long yarns
while be went through his functions on their heads
and faces. One day an old cOdggf came IN, took
his scat, and ordered shave and hair cut. The
barber went to work, and began at the same tine
one Of his long stories, to the no little disatishc
tiOn Of the Old gentleman who, becoming irFitaied
ut the barber, said
HCut it shOFt.ni frE is'l 3 ~ y $
AYES, SIR" said The barber, continuing The yarn.
until the old gentleman again cried ont
Cut ii short, say; cut it shortp
"Yes, sir" clipping away and talking hster.
@Cut it short, ] say" reiterated the gent
!" Yes, sir" said the barber, going on with bis
story.
%Wm you cut it shOrti" baMIed the old ssui.
in q rage st t,s.g,as,. n. .Ilt.l,
Cant sir" said the barber !. Z for II you look
in the glass, you'll see I've cut It az oiE" (. -.
And sure enough, on looking in the glaas, ~
old gentleman found his hair cut as close as slels
could ect it. IS
A sea captain, who was staying At 4 port N
Europe, was presented aiGh q tirkpt 70 The opafl.
Whom the performance was over, be was asked
by his friend how he liked Il
"WeI," answered the captain, know very
little abopt music, and can't pFetrnd 70 30 I
Judge liked some things pretty wen; but I
rather think that some Of them didn't know thoiE,
business. There was one who screeched and
tore round, Thought, in an abominable way;
and the folks round me thought 50, too, guos1Y
for they made her do It over a second time r
An English paper informs us that the lgFgest
church in Europe is at St Peterburgh. Il WAS
begun in 1771, and in twenty years 5000 men had
not completed the walls Il Of polished marble
outside and in the pillars are of one piece dlly
feet high, the bSse and capitals Of solid siveFs
but the greatest curiosity Of all Is q wooden box
made to cover il from the weather.
A printer, meddling with the verdict Of ccro,
ner's Jury, struck out the comma AFTER the word
" "apoplexy," making i read thus: Deceased
came 10 bis death by excessive drinkin 'pfoduc-
ing apOPlexy in the minds Of The jury
Good temper is the philosophy Of The hs2Hfat--Ss
gem Of the treasury Yithin--yliose rays are re-
hected on al outward objectsl perpetual sun
shine, imparting warmth, light and LIE within
the spheres Of lis vast influence.
did you call me beast, sry"
mo sir; I said you were q liar and sooun-
drel."
SAh, | missndSlssatbOOd.' 3OurapOlOsy isquiiS
sufficient, SIR"
"My good woman" said an Evangelist q
% oheleo ner uaeb uate you ~. tne 4t'li..'.
erOne, @but they have got il GMfully down so
New Orleans"
An advocate having lately eained suit for :
poor young lady, she remarked, slhave nothing
to pay you With, sir, but my heart" aHana Z
over to the elerki wish no fee for myself
Spurgeon the splurger, when Z propoIiiioh
was made him about heating his new lab1Tu,all.
said, " o, nothing Of the sorti Tshal b uafm-
ing apparatus myselfiH ri
n you buy Seiyihk 6sbys liluncb b yi,ll.
ing 10 is wishes tho cunning lllill hIc1ll1f uII
besst you continually 81 siullr bAl1llnA
why Is a true philnnfhfopisi Ike u1n lI.Inl1
horssf BecauG b. alssys slors = ~ l1111
of woi
! aN.,ohl.., ni..ry- h.S 6tsn did e ~
bavinOa dgaE and 6oihins q Let h rllk