Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1861-06-04
MISCELLANY.
MARRIAGE ENGAGEMENTS.

MISCELLANY.
Ao MARRIAGE ENGAGEMENTS.
There are two things which almost every one
finds it difficult to do easily and with grace
One is for a man to announce orally that he is
going to be married, and the other is to congrat.
lulate him. Why the announcement should cause
embarrassment is obvious. However proud the
happy lover may feel in his heart. he knows that
by saying he is going to be married he at least
exposes himself to the criticism of friendly GU
riosity. The friend to whom the announcement
is made las also many reasons for feeling little
nervous. Not being foreigner, he cannot
throw himself on his friends neck and have q
good blubber, and he must con6ne his congratu.
lations within the limits of English reserve
The surprise and the oddity of the thing, again,
often overpower every deeper feeling for the
moment, and even the sncerest and warmes.
friend Eas been known to receive the affecting
Intelligence with no other answer than one long
peal OF laughter. And there is also deeper
cause OF embarrassment Ii is for the person to
whom the news is impaired to continue the con
versation. He must ask something and what is
he to ask So far as the lsdy's name goes, and
the place Of her residence, all is straightforward
But what is to come next9 1t is absurd to ask
whether she is pretty, for it is painful to the Low.
er, il he is honest to have to say she is not; and
ifhe says she is, every one sets it down as nat
ural deluson. Delicacy equally forbids any in
lquiries as to her money. 1t is taking 80 very
marketing view to look at the affair OF friends
heart as mere bargain. The only obvious and
unexceptionable question is to ask whether it is
to be soon, and to hear whether there is to be an
engagement or an immediate marriage. If fthere
is to De no engagement, the hero is thought more
fortunate than ever. Not to wait at all, but to
90 in at once to connubial happiness and the
smoothest of all possible loves, is considered a
great triumph. The best imaginable lot is when
man has nothing to do but to hang up his hat
in his wife's house. Anything like an engage
ment is diminutiOn OF the glory of matrimony
Engagements are romantic, but they are not bus.
iness-like, and friends always take remarkably
business like view Of each others marriages or,
it they do not do so really, at any rate they pre-
tend to do SO, in order that their reputation as
smart, worldly people may not accidently suffer.
/ engagements, however, are really the natural
consequences OF the modern theory of marriage,
which supposes that unions spring from affection
based on compatibility of temper, tastes, and
principles. Long engagements are, in their way.
bad things, but they are just6sble bad things
If two persons love each other-and love is the
one great tui.g in their lives that makes their
lives vaiuauie-it is very difficult to show that
they do not gain by q long engagement. It is
said that the girl loses the best years of her life
and wastes away without the happipess aud res
pectability of being married. Observations like
/ this clearly proceed from the secret belief that
one man woald really do as well for her IS anoth-
or. But this is not So where the heart truly and
sincerely loves. No man or woman of really
! tender and constant nature, and once absorbed
4 ina great passion, either refused to enter on q
u od hou MI
The lovers themselves certainly profit by an en-
Ragement of some modersts length preceding
marriage. 1t 9at only that they learn to know
each other, and have opportunities of seeing
whether the desired harmony really exists, but
many fine feelings never blossom at all if marri-
age Immediately follows on chance acquaintan-
ceship. The niceties of courtship are superseded
by this leyelling rapidity. In the first place,
there are no letters, or, at any rate none, worth
speaking OF There is smack of furniture and
dress about the correspondence of a couple that
will not condescend to wait. Now, on all the
principles of romance and poetry, letters are a.
mong the choicest flowers oflove. They express
feelings which would be nipped in the bud if
they were not put on paper. Receiving love-
letter is undoubtedly sensation, and a very
pleasant sensation, and why should it not be ex-
perienced2 Probably many engagements are
shortened purpOsely, because One or both, of the
fparties are conscious thst they have nothing to
say. But real lovers can 60 on for pages and,
what is more, can bear to read the pages they
receive. A lover-a truly happy, ardent, pas
sionate lover can stand crossing and scented note
paper and both are trials to the male heart in its
natural state. Poetry, too. ought to be written
I-or at least there ought to be songs without
words passing to and fro. Young people cannot
be much in love if they do not have "imaginings.n
1 Dat; 81, to- 1,o 1;ck
try is quite outof place. Ifawife is "a bargain, y
no one who has just paid earnest for her is like
| ly to sing hyms to her. The Arab wrote his
pretty verses to the horse be supposed be was
going to lOse and not to the one that was Just
being trotted to his tent. There appears to us
Ito be no answer to this argument in favor of "en-
gagements." The pleasure they offer is one
which marriage does not offer; therefore to fore
20 it is to Jose something, and the something that
is lost is the very thing WHICH is supposed to be
the leading characteristic of English matches
Ifevery one went through the love vcissitudes
of novel, there would be no necessity for an
engagement If there was always stern father
who inte4fered exactly when passion had been
formed, if the parted couple were being oontin-
ually thrown together by the most astonishing
coincidence, and if the slddep wealth and dig
| nifty of the hero ultimately brought every one
round, there would have been plenty of love-
making, and the sooner the parson was applied
to the better. But in real lite things are ta-
mer. If an immediate marriage is impossible,
it is generally choice between total separa-
ton and an engagement; and if the lovers a.
|dopt the latter course, they gain more by it
than they would have gained bY being marri-
ed Immediately is, if they have any taste
for the poetical and any feelings to express
If not, the sooner they get to paying taxes and
ordering dinner, the less will their course inl
life be ruffled.
During the confagration of Canton caused by
the bombardment of the British, the extensive
medical warehouse of our countryman DR.. ]. O.
Aver of Lowell, (the depot of his Cherry Pecto
raj and Cathartic Pills, for Ohins,) was totally
destroyed. He DOW makes demand upon our
government for indemnity from the loss of his
property, and hence will grow another nut to |
crack withsour elder brother Johnny. Stick toll
it Doctor; and ii our Government maintains our !
rights wherever your Pills are sold, we shall on
" be unprotected on tracts that are very barren.
-Rsornssr, Trenton, N. j.