Centre Democrat. [volume] (Bellefonte, Pa.) 1848-1989, 1861-06-20
Sisters, who's going to hav spring over

Goa made out of it.
We got under way at larst, an proceeded
on our journey at about the rate Of speed
which is generally observed by properly
| conducted funeral professions. A hansum
yung. gal. with red musketer bar on the
back part Of her he'd, and sassy little black
hat tipt over her forrerd, sot in the seat with
me. She wore little Seeesh flag pin d onto
her hat, and she was goln for to see her
troo love, who had jined the Southern army
all so bold and gay. So she told me. She
was chilly, and offered her my blanket
q Father livn !'' | axed.
| Yes, sir" +"
e Got any uncles ?''
GA heap. Uncle Thomas is ded, tho"
Peace to Uncle Thomas ashes, and sue
cess to him I will be your Uncle Thomas
Lean on me. my pretty Secesher, and linger
in blissful repose !" She slept as secoorly
as in her own house, and didn't disturb the
sollum stiffness of the night with 'ary a
snore.
At the first station troop of sojers en-.
tered the cars and inquired if 6. s.Old Wax
Works. was on bored. That was the dis
respective sti.e in which they referred to
me. g Becawz if Old Wax Works is on
bored" sez man with face like double
breasted lobster, we're going to hang Old
Wax Works ~
"My il.ustrous and patriotic Bummers ~
sez [. gittin up and taken orf my Shappoe,
g if you allude to A. Ward, It's nv pleasin
dooty to inform you that he's ded. He saw
the error of his ways at Is minits past 2
yesterday, and stabbed hisself with stuffed
sledstake, dyin in five beautiful tablees to
slow moosic! His last words was i My
perfesshernal career is over jerk no
more p
''And who be YOU ?''
I'm stoodent liz Senator Benjamin s
law offs. Pm goin up North to steal sum
spoons and other things for the Suthern Ar
my"
This was satisfactory, and the intoSsicated
troopers went orr. At the next station the
pretty little Secesher awoke and sed she
must git out there. | bid her kind adoo
and Civ her some Eervisions. Accept my
blessin and this hunk of gingerbread - sed
|. She thankt me muchly and tript galy
away. There's considerable human mater
in a man, and I'm afraid l shall alters Civ
aid and comfort to the enemy if he comes to
me in the shape of a nice young gal.
At the next station didn't get orf so
easy. was dragged out of the cars and
rolled in the mud for several minits, for the
purpuss of g takin the conseet out of me, !"
as a Secesher kindly stated
was let up finally, when powerful large
Secesher cane up and embraced me, and to
show he had no hard feelings again me, put
his nose into my mouth. | returned the
compliment by placing my stummick sud
;,,lx hic r,rbt xr,har ho l.
made spittoou of his able bodied face
Actooated bv desire to see whether the
SeceSher haG been vaxinnated, | then fast.
ened my teeth onto his left coat.sleeve and
tore it to the shou der We then vilently
butted our heads together for few minits,
danced around a little and sot down in
mud puddle. We riz to our feet again &
by suddint and adroit movement placed
my left eye again the Seccsher's fist. We
then rushed into each other's arms, and fell
under a two horse wagon. was very much
exhausted, and didn't care about gittn up
again, but the man said he reconed I'd bet
ter, and conclooded would. lie pulled
me up, but hadn't been on my feet more
than two seconds afore the ground flew up
and hit me on the he'd. The crowd sed it
was high old sport, bu! couldn't 'zactly
see where the lafture come in. | riz and
we embraced agin. We careered madly to
steep bank, when got the upper hand of
my antagonist and threw him into the ra-
veen. He fell about forty feet, striking
grndstone pretty hard. l understood he
was injured. [ haven't heard from the
giindstone.
man in cockt hat cum up and sed he
felt as tho apology was doc me. There
was mistake. The crowd had taken me
for another man ! | told him not to men,
ton it, axed him if his wife and little ones
was SOS to be about, and got on bored the
train, which had stopped at that station 900
minits for refreshments" | got all wantid.
1t was the heartest meal ever ct.
| was rid on rale the next day, bunch
OF blazin frecrackers bein tied to my cote
tales. 1t was fine spectycle in dramatic
pint of view. but didn't ingoy it. had
other adventers of startin kind, but why
continner Why lasserate the Public Boo
yum with these hear things? Suffysit to
say got across Masons q Dixon's line
safe at last. | made tracks for my humsted
but she with whom I'm harAissed for life
failed to recognize, in the emashlated bein
before her, the gushin youth of forty-six
summers who had left her only few
months afore. But I went into the pantry,
and brought out a certain black bottle
Raisin it to my lips, l sed /" Here S to you
old gal!n | did it so natral that she knew
ed me at once. GO Those FORM Them
voice! That natral stlle of doin things !
g 'Tis hep she cried, and rushed into my
arms. 1t was too much for her & she fell
into swoon. cum very near swoundlng
myself.
No more to day from yours for the perpe-
tration of the Union, and the bringin of the
Goddess of Liberty out of her present bad
fix. ARTEMUs WARD.