The weekly pioneer and Democrat. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. Territory) 1855-1865, 1861-05-31
"We are cum, sir, upon matter of doc.

"We are cum, sir, upon matter of doc.
ty"-
you're right, captin its every mans
dooty to visit my show" sed I.
We are cum -
"And that's the reason you are," SEE /,
larfin one of my silvery larfs. / thawt if
be wanted to COAX I'd give him sum of my
sparklin eppygrams.
"Sir, you're inserlent. The plain ques-
tion is, will you haul down the star span
gled banner and hist the Southern flag 2"
Nary hist !" Those was my reply.
"Your wax works and beests is then
conisticated, & you air arrested as spy 4"
See ], >" My fragrant roses of the South
ern cline and blooming dafodils, what's the
price of whisky in this town, and how
many cubic feet of that seductive food can
you Individually hold"
They made no reply to that, but sed my
wax iggers was confsticated. ! axed them
if that was ginerally the stile among thieves
in that country, to which they also made
no reply, but sed 1 was arrested as spy
and must go to Montgomery in iuns. They
was by this time jined by a large crowd of
other Southern patrits, who commencst hol-
lerin, " Hang the bald headed aberlitionist,
and bust up his immoral exhibition |" l
was ceased and tied to stump, and the
crowd went Tor my tent-that waterproof
pavilion, wherein instruction and am0ose.
ment had been so muchly combined, at l5
cents per head-and tore it all to pieces.
Meanwhile dirty faced boys was THROWN
stuns and empty beer bottles at my massiv
brow, & takin other improper liberties
with my person. Resistance was useless,
for variety of reasons, as l readily OBJ
sarved.
The Seseshers confscated my statoots by
smashin them to attums. They then went
to my money box and con6sticated all the
loose change therein contained. They then
went and burst in my cages, letting all the
animiles loose, small but healthy tiger
among the rest. This tiger has eccentric
way of tearing dogs to pieces, and alters
sposed from his gineral conduck that he'd
have no heitashun servin human beins in
the same way if he could git at them. Ex-
cuse me if I4was crooel, but larfed boys.
terrusly when see that tiger spring in
among the peple. eco it, my sweet cnss!"
I inardly exclaimed, 81 forgiv you for bitin
off my left thum with all my heart! Rip
'em up like bully tiger whose lare has
been invaded by Seseshurs !"
l can'tsay for certin that the tiger seris.
ly injured any of them, but as he was seen
few days after sum miles distant, with
large and well selected assortment of seats
of trowsis in bis mouth, and as he lookt ss
tho hid bin havin sum vilent exercise,
rayther guess he did. You will therefore
perceive that they didn't conhsticate him
much.
I was carrid to Montgomery in iuns and
placed in durans vial. The jail was Or
neary ediGss, but the table was literally
supplied with Bakin and Cabbidge. This was
good variety, for when l didn't banker
after Bakin could help myself to the Cab.
bidge.
l had nobody to talk to nor nothin to talk
about, however, and / was very lonely,
specially on the first day, so when the jaler
parst my lonely sell, | put the few stray
hairs on the back part of my he'd I'm bald
now, but there was time when wore sweet
auburn riDglets) into as dish-hevild state as
possible, & rollin my eyes like manyyuck,
cride: "Stay, jaler, stay! 1 am not mad, but
soon shall be if you don't bring me suthin
to Taik!" He bruDg me sum newspapers,
for which thanked him kindly,
AT larst l got interview with Jefferson
Davis, the President of the Southern Con-
thieveracY. He was quite perlite, and axed
me to sit down and state my case. / did
it, when he larfed and sed bis gallant men
had bin little too enthusiastic in c0nfis-
ticatin my show,
Eyes" SEE /, "they confscated me too much
~. l had sum bosses con6sticated in the
same way onct, but the confticaters air
now poundin stun in the States Prison at
Injinnapylus."
"Wall, wall, Mister Ward, you air at
liberty to depart; you air friendly to the
South know. Even now we have many
frens in the North who sympathize with us,
and won't mingle with this fight"
81. Davis, there's your great mistaik.
Many of us was your sincere friends, and
thought certin parties among us was fussin
about you and meddlin with your consarns
intierly too much. But j. Davis, the mint
you fire gun at the piece of dry goods
called the Star Spangled Banner, the North
gifts up and rises en- MASSEY, in defense of
that banner. Not agin you as individooals
not agin the South even-but to save the
flag. We should indeed be weak in the
knees, unsound in the heart, milk white in
LIE liver, and soft in the he'd, if we stood
quietly by and saw this glorus Govyment
smashed to pieces either by turin or q
intestine foe. The gentleharted mother
hates to take her naughty child across her
knee, but she knows it is her dooty to do it.
So we shall hate to whip the naughty South,
but we must do it if You don't make back
tracks at onct, and We shall wollop you out
of your bootsl J. Davis, it is my decided
opinion that the Sonny South is maxim
eUreins muttonhed If hersnlf n