Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1861-07-04
A Great Mans Advice to a young
Lady.

1t was in the year 1858, long before
the war of Independence, that Colonel
Washington Gas he who was to be the
founder of the American Republic was
then called, crossing on business fer
ry of PamuDky, branch of the York ri
yer, was stopped by request to paetake
of the hospitality of Mr.. Chamberlayne
the owner ofa domain in Virginia, where
the name of the Colonel was honorcd.-
The strict Washington insisted on pres
sing forward, but the Virginia Amphi-
tryon would take no denial, urging a
mong other temptations, that he would
introduce his friend to a charming wild
ow, then beneath his roof. This was
Miss Gusts, (nee Daudridge) aged twen-
ty-sx, who had married a gentleman
who was both colonel and an eminent
ly successful painter. BY his prema-
ture death, Mrs. Gusts found herself at
once a very young widow, and among
the wealthiest in the colony
Col. Washington came to dine, and
remained to WOO He was fascinated
by the widow, and marrying her, lived
never to repent the step. The new Mrs.
Washington had step-son, whose son,
Mr.. George Washington Parke Gusts,
is the author of certain Memoirs of the
great man, just issued-and he and his
sister were adopted by Washington
This young lady, Nelly Custis, when
sixteen, and after her first ball, had told
her reverend guardian that she
cared nothing for youth of the present
day The sound and sensible advice
then given by Washington, at that time
President of the United States, to his
adopted daughter, is of universal appli-
cation to those who, as she then was,
are unengaged:
Love is said to be an involuntary pas
sion, and it is therefore contendcd that
it can not be resisted. This is true in
part only, for, like all things else, when
nourished and supplied beautifully with
aliment, it is rapid in its progress; but
let these be withdrawn, and it may be
stihed in its birth, or much stinted in its
growth. For example, woman (thc
same may be said of the other sex,) all
beautiful and accomplished, will, while
her hand and heart are indisposcd of,
turn the heads, and set the circle in
which she Il owes on fire. Let her mar
ry, and what is the consequence ? The
madness cea. es, and all is quiet again. -
Why Not because there is any dimi-
mutton in the charms of the lady, but
because there is an end of hope. Hence
it follows that love may, and therefore
ought to be, under the guidance of rea-
sou for although we can not avoid first
impressions, we may assuredly place
them under guard: and my motives for
treating on the subject are to show you
while you remain Eleanor Park Custis,
spinster, and retain the resolution to love
with moderation-the proprcty of adhe-
! ring to the latter resolution, at least un-
til you have secured your game, and the
way by which it may be accomplished.
when the fire is beginning to kindle
and your heart growing warm. PROFOUND
these questions to it, Who is the in
vader? Have | competent knowledge
of him ! Is he man of good charac-
ter "a man of sense?' For, be assu-
red, a sensible woman can never be hap
py with fool 'What has been his
walk of life? Is he a gambler, spend
thrift, or drunkard? Is his fortune
sufficient to maintain me in the manner
| have been accustomed to live, and my
sisters do live ? and is he one to whom
my friends can have no reasonable objec-
tiooi If these interrogatons can be
satisfactorily anawcred, there will be but
one more to be asked. That, however.
il an Important one, Have | sufficient
ground to conclude that his affections
are engaged by me?' Without this, the
heart OF seusibility will struggle against
a passion that is not reciprocated deli
cacy, custom, or call it by any epithct
you will, having precluded all ad-
vances on your pari. The declaration,
without the most indirect invitation by
yours, must proceed from the gentleman
to render it permanent and valuable; and
nothing short of good sense and an easy,
unaffected conduct can draw the line be-
tween prudery and coquettry. 1t would
be no great departure from the truth to
say that it rarely happens otherwise than
that thoroughbred coquette dies in
celibacy, as punishment for her attempt
to mislead others by encouraging looks,
words, or actions, given for no other
purpose than to draw men on to make