The weekly Lancaster gazette. (Lancaster, Ohio) 1860-1863, 1861-01-31
Ar let I E S.


nothing TO light it with.
Why is a pig in parlor like house
en- fire2 Because the sooner it is put out
the better.
That's part of the sinking fund. as the
chap said when box oi specie went to
the bottom Of the river.
1t we're 10 be wished. that the enemies
Of religion would at least learn what it is,
before they oppose it.
"What ails your eye, Benz
81 told q man he was liar!"
A sufficient explanation.
"Still SO gently Ger me stealing" as
the man said when he heard thief III the
garret.
The man who ruins himself by law in
the hopes OF running his Leighbor, is
fool.
Why must your nose necessarily De
in the middle of tie face? Because ii is
the sceRter.
l never wonder 10 see men wicked, but
often wonder to see !hem not ashamed.
Why is kiss like some sermons?-
Because there are two heads and IN ap-
plieation.
DR.. Franklin says that every "lilte
fragment of the day should be saved"-
o, yes. the moment the day breaks. sci
yourself at once TO save the pieces.
Many men are like glass, smooth in the
touch as long as Ienderly handled, but
sharp and piercing when broken.
An eminent artist is about getting mp
panorama Of law suit. 1t topens In the
year one, and closes a, doonis day.
Obstacles 10 the path of man Of true
courage are but incitcmen's TO enterprise
and the warrants of ultimate success.
"A man by the name of Philo, who was
married 10 a lady whose name was Sophy,
obsered chat uniting his namv with the
lady's put him in possession of Philos'
Ophy.
~ say, John, where did you get that
rogue's hat?" "Plaze your bonor." said
John, "it's an onld one Of yers that Missus
gave me yesterday"
What we hope or f ar may not come to
pass. No human scheme can be 80 accu
rately projected, but some little circum.
stance intervening may spoil 1t.
Childhood's dreams are like white clouds
that float through summer sky. Rathed
in the glory Of heaven drift away leaving
no trace of sadness behind.
Secret kindness done to mankind are
as beautiful as secret injuries are detesta
bic. To be insisibly good is Godlike, as
tu be nvisibly evil is diaboIcal.
Many err the more dangerously berause
they take truth as lbe foundation Of their
error. This makes lies. not 10 the believ.
ing .falsehood. but in regarding one
truth 10 the exclusion Of another.
Jealousy is said to bo the offspring oil
love; yet unless the parent makes haste
TO strangle the child. the child will mol
rest until il has poisoned the parent.
Stand for right. through thick or thin,
Let rogues uphold the wrong,
Be manful, cheerful, in the din,
Triumph is with the strong;
Whae'er the bad may say or do,
Fight for the honest part,
What bodies frown, u growl TO you,
If truth sustains the hear!
South Carolina processes deadly hos
tility to coercion, yet she is very much il
favor Of it as the means Of obtaining loan
from her banks and rich men.--LousvlIl'
Constant success shows US but one sid,
Of the world. for it surrounds us with fla,
terers who will tell US only of our merit
and silence our enemies, from whom VI
alone might learn our defects.
Jo LANES LAsr.--It is said that Gen
Lane has sent the following dispa ch t
the Governor Of North Carolina:
Deer gov-0regon is proberbly lost
Iresolved to see seed with my Nativ
btato' iut cIoouOn VI H"cOlu CIV Lur got
Our trust is in god and a Southern on
ion. Yours, DO Lane.
The following epltaph, in Washington
!s little Toy who fell victim to pre-,
alenl disease:
"The little hero who lies hero,
Was conquered by tho die a.roar"
"YOu want nothing. do you?" said Pl
"Bedad, an If IT'S nothing you wan
you'll 6nd 1t in the jug whore the whis
ky was"
ETA Sohoolma'am ia one Of our lie
irict schools was examining class 10 OF
biography. "Spell and define hOweret,
she sAid:
"Fl o-w.e.r-e>i, little flower" wen
OF a tow hesd in perfect st-eak,
Wavelet"
"W.a.v e.l-e.t, little wave, was III
prompt return.
Bullet"
"B u-l.l.e I. q little bull" shouted III
chin number three, who was innocenc
personi6ed School. ma am caved.
Dissolution Of Co-partnership.