Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1861-05-02
To Larry O'Hallagan.
A Smart Witness,


pants were short at both ends, one tai
of his coat torn off, and minus of bot]
sleeves-was sworn as to what he knew
in the case. His evidence spread tn
guilt on the defence rather too thick TO
the counsel, so the latter commence'
with brow-beating, consequential air
his cross examination:
"Well, sir"
MY name ain t sur, no how
"Boy, then"
I'm no boy, nuther.'
SIS it lad, them"
mot egzactly."
''Then what in the name of thunder
do they call you?',
Ragged tailed Bill-Hoss.''
"Well, Ragged-tailed Bill, Hoss, wha
time of the day was this you speak of.
81 don't know egzactly about ter
miles after sunrise. -
II hope the Court will oblige thi:
witness to answer my question.
Court-"Bill, explain to the gentle
man what you mean.
"Well, l had drove ten miles since
sunrise and we got about two miles ant
a half an hour; let him find it out by
his learning
"What business does plaintiff follow 2
81 don't no sich man.
"What, don't you know what plain
tiff means ?"
"No, no more nor you knows wha
time of dayten miles after sunrise is. ,
The laugh began to be against th'
counsel, but he frightened up, and made
fight again. g
happened =
II told you once; on Loafer Bridge.
"Who was there besides theparties?'
go, whole parcel of loafers.'
"Well, what were they doing?'
"Why, I s'pose loafng about"
$50, on Loafer Bridge, whole par
Gel of loafers were loafng about. Is tina
all you know about it ?"
Here the witness stopped down t.
get his hands in his pantaloons pockets
and looking up, said:
"That's um.'
The laugh was again against the coun
sci, he regulated his papers and was nol
est.
AN IRISH WIDE AwAKE.-The "rusl
for office" at the Custom House is i'm
mense. Some idea may be formed o
| it by the distant reader, when We sa,
that Mrs. Burke, the famous apple ant
peanut woman in the rotunda, is il
danger of being removed. Yesterday
she was interrupted by one of her Sc!
and country, who desired to know b,
what steps Mrs. Burke secured exclu
sive permission to sell fruit to the Gus
tom House. 'sBy long service to M
adopted country" she answered sharp
Ily. care yez a Wide Awake?" "St
Pcther protect us, what's them = 9Th
noble band that elected Ab'ram Lin
coln.' "St. Bridget do you hear tn
mostheen: Me a Wide Awake! ST
Patrick Danish the serpent, An Iris
Wide Awake! Do you think the bloc
of the Burkes, that never paled at fai
in Ireland, has degeneratedin in America
Go away wild ye, ye hussy!!'' and tn
frightened office seeker did 60, an
quickly too.-Boston Courier.
MINED THE BABIEs.-At Chicago tn
other day three ladies called to take te
alta boarding house, bringing with thel
their three babies, all very much alike
!, While the mothers were at tea the III
suspecting innocents were leftlying "
on bed, and a couple of waggish youn
men of the house improved the occasio
to slip ip and change the clothing I
the babes. When the mothers depa
ted for their respective abodes at nigl
they selected their peculiar babies b
the clothing, and great was the troub
which ensued, and it is not settled, ft
two of the mothers cannot be certai
that they have got the right babies ye
and are troubled with tormenting doubt
The young men should not have do1
, this.