Arkansas true Democrat., 1861-11-14
Fun in the Army.

The Fairfax correspondent of the Charleston Courier writing on the 11th inst, says:
 Speaking of bourbon, 1t is positively distress ing to one with sympathizing nature, to see the straits to which the soldiers are occasional ly reduced by the want of their accustomed stimuli. Liquor of any kind Is rarity, and the more difficult it is to obtain, the greater IS Its abuse Speculators among the soldiers are selling rif1td stuff, which is q cross between sheet lighting and North Carolina turpentino, at three dollars aquart, while the provost mar shal has confscaed a lot which, at auction, would not bring fifteen cents a gallon. Now and then some sharp captain, while foraging, secures enough to last himself and comrades one drink around, but this is the exception and not the rule. Even private packages are not exempt from examination, and the presence ot half dozen straws from the crevice of box is evidence on which an official wedge or axe IS brought into requisiLon to discover the liquid niquity. Smuggling is, therefore, again com ing into vogue. Several days ago, terrible rumpus was created in one of the camps, by the development of twenty or thirty men so intoxicated as to be unable to engage ln the evening drill. An examination was at once set on foot to ascertain where the liquor had been obtained, but without success. The next day another party was also drunk, and for nearly a week the occQwanco was repeated Tn spite of the utmost vigilance. Finally, one oi the delinquents, royalty happy lrlshman, was brought to headquarters where the perpleXed officers were holding consultation over the strange proceedings.
 "The top of the Honin' to yeH, sintlemen."
 "Silence!p thundeied the Colonel-"Y drunk, sir.''
 "Dhrunk, is it sure; begorra it's only delight ed that am to receive letter from my Swate- heart"
 "Tell mo where you got your liquor. instant ly, sr.'
 NWhsky dye mane, Kern'l-I hav'nt had a snill of the craythur for the lasht six wakes"
 At this juncture one of the officers called at tention to a little stream that was trinkling down the Paddys ear.
 "Whats that?" demanded the Colonel.
 Mike slipped his hand up to the delinquent aurcuar and drawing his finger across his mouth to taste the drop he now felt, while ex- presson of comic gultiness took possession of his face, as if he had discovered something wrong, and he replied:
 By the powers, Kernl but 1t is warrum day. belaye I'm prespiring."
 "Take " off your cap, sir"
 "That I will, sur, to any gintleman like yer honor''
 Mikes head was as wet as soaked dish rag and 1t was now observed that his cap, usually so pliable, was stiff and unruly with some suspicious contents,
 {" Hand it to me, sir"
 "Indade Kern'l but it's nothing but me handkerchief"
 He had to pass it over, however, and much to the modification of Pat the officers drew forth an object which at first sight puzzled the credulity of every person present, and which would be an equal puzzle to your best guess. It was about eighteen inches of the entrals of an OK, dried and prepared for this novel use, filled with pint or two of torch-light pro cession." and tied at both ends. Unfortunately for Mike, one of these had become loose, and his extraordinary precipitation" led to the long sought discovery. The milk in the CO., coanut" the regiment being thus accounted for, the delinquent was dismissed Tor extra du- ty, and to give the colonel and his brother n- quistors an opportunity to let out the broad "guffaws' which had been accommodating during the strange examination. Others oi these ln- tcstinal arrangements were subsequently .ound, and l need not add that DO further trouble has been experienced there from surreptltlous drinks.
 Not long ago we had greased pig race; the porker to be the prize of any man who caught him by his slippery caud1a, but unfortunately the appendage came off and the game was blocked"
 Then there are sack races, blndfolded att tempts to stick hot poker in a certain target, with any quantity of immense practical jokes
 You see, therefore that our men will not all die from hamilton. Fun, life and jollty are written in every camp, and no one could pass by at certain hours when the mercury of hap piness is at fever heat, without feeling satisfied of the supreme content of the army.