The Cass County Republican. [volume] (Dowagiac, Mich.) 18??-1880, 1861-03-28

my own will, and to accomplish my
own ends, was willing, unoonsciously,
to cut myself off from my husbands
sympathies, and, while claiming to be
one with an equal to him, and entitled
to WIFE respect and love, / degraded
myself in his eyes to the level of a
mere mercenary housekeeper, striving
to drive the best bargain l could with
him, obtain all the favors, under the
claim of "rights," that / could from
him. ,.... or
& saw his love declining. and, in
my heart-sometimes in words-I re-
preached him for it. / thought his love
was my due, without any demand upon
me for respect to his wishes, confidence
in his understanding, or surrender of
my will to his. He became melancholy,
shunning society, under the plea of
business, and rarely greeted me with a
kiss or other sign of endearment. AT
length he was taken sick. He came
home and lay down upon the sofa, and
l asked what was the matter. The
mournfnl answer was /" am sick, sad,
and weary !" No more was said; but
my heart told me something of the
meaning of his words, though little
dreamed that his sickness was more
from anguish of spirit than any other
cause. l felt that there was wide
gulf between us, but could not believe
that / was at all responsible for it, or
had power to heal the breach.
"We were mutually unhappy; and
one evening, when he was better, after
we had retired, with no kiss or loving
words, / was impelled to ask him: "Do
you love me?" Several times / re-
peated the question, with no answer,
till at length he exclaimed with deep
emotion:
"Oh, hon I would love you if you
would let me-! / could love you with
perfect devotion, but you prefer your
own will to your husbands love. You
despise him, or his judgment would
secure some respect; you love him not,
or his wishes would have some weight;
you disregard his experience and deny
him any authority as the God-appointed
head of the household, and all control
in domestic affairs, except as he be-
comes subservient to your imperious
will. You degrade your husband to
the position of servant, practically
usurp his place, and deny his right to
control his own business, and are fast
crushing out the last breath of that
deep affection which he longs to lavish
upon YOU"
"I was disposed to be angry, and
put myself upon defense, for | could
not believe / deserved such reproaches;
and my first plea was to ask him the
very question which you have put to
me, and which has induced me to tell
you my sad story "Do you think it is
a wife's duty always to yield?"
=" az not ask you to YIELD" said he.
"Stand by your rights, and defend
them from that citadel of your will that
never surrendered; but think not to win
a husbands love by reproaches; his
caresses by complaints; or his respect
by contempt. You may yet make him
devoted lover, or you have little more
to do to leave before him only the pros
pect of cold and cheerless life of duty
as the mere guardian of one who would
enshrine in his inner heart, if he could =
"I need not tell you, my dear friend
, that my pillow was drenched with tears
He said no more, and might have sup
posed him sleeping. bat for an oc
casional sigh, such only as strong mar
liz his agony can give. Nor need tel
you, trust, that when became ealn
, l made that night a night of solemn
} review. My pride was humbled:
began to look at things as they were
, my heart told me his bitter words were
too true, and for the first time in m,
, life, ] truly believe, pronounced judg
| ment against myself. 1t was all plail
: palmer than he had expressed, o
, than can express; and in those silent
> solemn hours, I resolved before M.
Maker Maker that Il q my VII II should be subdued
/ and, right or wrong, with a view to fi
5 highest good, my husbands judgmen
: should in all things be mine. But thinl
. not that my will, unsubdued for nearl
t thirty years, was conquered by mer
D resolution. Deep, often, were m,
! struggles, and terrible the conflict il
D my breast. l could but often feel tina
e l was yielding my rights but even thi
/, was scarcely as hard as cheerfully t
! yield my desires. But l resolved
e should be done, and bringing my vii
to make war upon itself, 1 began th
!, conflict. made my husband n
y promises, but he soon saw my efforts
t and appreciated them. II was strang
Y to see how soon his eye began to ligh
: up with hope.
| "My change was at first mostly tn
1 result of mere determination but b.
e degrees my heart and inclination cam
f to accord with it. My husbands smil
I was at first with look of fear that m
| change would not last; but in littl
while, he was as happy as he was dc
voted to me. / aods changed. TIL
e lesson was never forgotten. He saw
o that had conquered myself, and ha
/; no more cause to ask if he loved me
o for the accents of endearment wer
! continually upon his tongue. foun
!. that, in yielding all, / had gained al
It l had no wish ungratifed, for it was hi