Indiana State sentinel. (Indianapolis, Ind.) 1861-1865, 1861-02-13
Arsemu. Ward ON the Crisis.

aIu OH tAC SHlS1cs
On returnin to my humsted in Baldinsville,
Iniianny, resuntly my feller sitterzens extended
invite for me to norate to 'em on the Krysis |
excepted on larst Toosday mite Ipeared bel G
of upturned feces in the Red Skool House. j
spoke neerly as follers:
Baldinsvillins: Hereto4, as | have numerously
obsarved, / hev abstrained from havin any sent-
munts or principles, my pollertics, like my re-
igion, bein of a exceeGin accommodatn charac
ter But the fack can't be no longer disgised that
Krysis is onto US, & / feel it's my dooty to ex-
cept your invite for one consecutive mite only.
spose the inhammertory indvidooals who assisted
in producing this Kryss know what good she will
do, but | amt 'shamed to state that don't,
scarcely But the Krysis is hear. She's bin hear
for sevral weeks, & Goodness nose how long she'll
stay. But l venture to assert that she's rppin
things She's dnockt trade into cockt up hat
and chaned Bizness of all kinds tighter nor ever
chaned any of my livin wild Beests. Allow me
to hear dygress 4 stait that my Beests at present
is as harmless as the newborn Babe. Ladys &
gentlemen needn't have no fears on that pint. To
resoom-Altho l can't exackly see what good
this Krysis can do, can very quick say what the
origernaf cawz of her is. The origernal cawz is
Our Afrikan Brother. Twas into Barnim's Moo
zeum down to New York the other day & saw
that exsentric Ethiopian, the What Is 1t. Sez i:
Mister What Is 1t, you folks air raisin thunder
with this CRATE country. You're gettin to be
ruther more numeris than interestin. 1t is pity
you coodent go OFF somewhares by yourselves, 4
be nashun of What Is Its, tho if You'll excoose
me. / shoodent care about marryin amung you.
No dowt you're exceedin charmin to hum, but
your stile of lnvliness isn't adapted to this cold
climit. He larfed into my face, which rather
Riled me, as i had been perfeckly virtoous and
respectable in my obseryashuns. So sez |, turnin
leetle red in the face | spect, 'sDo you hav the
unblushin impoodents to say you folks haven't
raised big mess of thunder in this brite land
Mister What Is It?'' He larfed agin, wusser nor
bel, whareupon up and sez, "Go home, Sir, to
Afriky's burnin shores & talk all the other What
Is Its along with you. Don't think we cant
spair your interestn picters. You What's Its
air on the pint of smashn up the gratest Guv 'ment
ever erected by man, 4 you actoolly hav the ow
dassity to larf aboutit. Go home, you low cussp
/ was workt up to high pitch & proceeded
to a Restorator & cooled orf with sum littl,
fishes billed in ile-I bleeve they call 'em sar
deems
Feller Sitterzuns, the Afrikan may be Ou
Brother. Sevral hily respectable gentlemen, ane
sum talentid females tell US so, fur argument
sake | mite be injooced to grant it, tho dom
b'leeve it myself. But the Afrikan isn't our sis
ter & our wife & our uncle. He isn't sevral o
our brothers 4 all our fust wife's reashuns. HI
isn't our grandfather, and our Aunt in the coun
try. Scarcely, and yet numeris persons woult
hav us think so. It's troo he runs Congress
sevral other public groserys, but then he ain
everybody 4 everybody else likewise. Notis
to bizness man of Vanity Fair: Extry charg flu
this larst remrk. It's a goak.-A. ".
But we've got the Afrikan, or ruther he's 90
us, & now what air we going to do about it, He
a orful noosance Praps he isn't to blame fur il
Praps he was creatid fur sum wise purpuss, ik
the measles and new Englan rum. but it's nit
hard to see it. At any rate he's no good here,
statid to Mister What Is 1t, it's pity he Good
ent 60 orf sumwhares quietly by osself, whar h
Good wear red weskits and speckled necties
gratterfy hiz ambishun in varis interestin vase
witout hevin a eternal fuss kickt up about him
Praps I'm bearing down to hard upon Cuffy
Cum to think on it, / am. He wooden't pc sic
Internal noosanse if white peple wood let hir
alone. He mite indeed be interestin. And now
of it why cant the white peple let him alone
What's the good of continnerly stirring him u
with ten foot pole? He ism the sweetest kin
of Perfoomery when in natsal stait.
Feller Siterzens, the Unions in danger-Th
black devil disunion is trooly here, starin u
squarely in the face We must drive him bach
Shall we make a 2nd Mexiko of ourselves? Sha
we sell our birthrit for mess of potash? Sha
one brother put the knife to the throat of an
othur brother? Shall we mix our whisky wit
eacn Others bludl Shall the star spangled Bar
ner be cut up into dishclothsy Standin here i
this here Skoolhouse, upon my nativ shore so
| speek, | anser-Naryl
Oh you felers who air raisin this row who j
the fust place startid it, I'm 'shamed of you. TIL
Snowman bushes for you, from his boots to tl
topmost har upon his venerable he'd.
i say to the South don't seseshl / say to Ii
| gallant peple of that sunny land, jus lock up
few hundred of them rearin & rearin fellers
yourn in some strong boxes. and send 'em over
Mexico: And we peple up North here will col
sine ekal number of our addle braned rip-snor
ers to the same lokallerty, 4 thar let 'em fte
| out among themselves. No consekents, not Il
slitist, which licks. Why shoodent the pep
who got up this fite do the fitn? Git these ornes
| critters out of the way, & the sensible peple ,
the North & South can fix the matter up vel
easy. And when tits fxt let both secshuns
solve to mind their own bizniss
Feller Sitterzens, am in the Sheer & Yell
leaf. | shall peg out of these dase. But viii
do stop here shall stay in the Union | kno
not what the supervisors of Baldwinsvilie ma
conclude to do, but for one, shall stand by Il
| Stars and Stripes. Under no circumstances wha
someyer will | sesesh. Let every Stait in d
/ Union sesesb * let Palmetter flags float thick
i nor shirts on Square Baxter's close line, still wi
L stick to the good old flag. The country NAV
to the devil, but | won't And next SUNNI
when start out on my campane with my Sho,
wearever pitch my little tent, YOU shall see hot
/ prowdy from the center pole thereof the Amel
can Flag, with nary star wiped out, nary stril
less, but the same old flag that has alters iot
tharl the price of admisshun will be the same
alters was-l5 cents, children harf price
Feller Sitterzens, am dun. Accordingly
squatted.