The Council Bluffs nonpareil. [volume] (Council Bluffs [Iowa]) 1857-1867, 1861-04-06
A FIREsIDE CASE OF SECESSION

Mr.. l.. p. Stillinger is a Southern gentle
man, married to Northern lady, and re-
siding in Cincinnati, being employed as
book -keeper in one of the mercantile houses
of this city. Mr.. Stillinger, like some of
bis compatriots, is of rather gasconadIng
disposition, especially on Saturday evenings
when he receives his weekly salary, and
devotes portion of it to potons of exciting
beverages. Mrs. Stillipger excels her hus-
band considerably, both in physical and
intellectual development, and generally con-
trives to keep him in pretty good training.
The secession furore has made the heroic
element in Mr.. Stillinger's composition
more ungovernable than ever and on re-
turning home. last Saturday evening, lust
slight" enough to be valiant, he confronted
Mrs, S., with what he believed to be an
awe-pspiring air -
"Madalu," he exclaimed, "the injuries
which you and all your tribe Of Northern
miscreants have inflicted upon myself and
the rest of the Southern chivalry, can no
longer be endured, and the breaking up Of
this old worn out National Confederacy
must, of course, be attended with Il dissolu
ton of the union between you and me-"
$50 YOU may think just now" disdaln-
IuliN answers tnc iiut. bue ou wa NC VI
a different opinion after a willie"
"Never - was the stout rcjolDder.-
''From this moment | renounce, discaim,
and resolve not to touch, anything Of
Northern birth, and everything of Northern
manufacture. I'll drink to the complete
Independence of the South"
He was about to take a bottle Of domestic
champagne from q closet, whom he was
interrupted by derisiye laugh from his
wife. who inquired
sand are you going to drink to t ut SEN
timent in LoDgworth,s Cincinnati made
Catawba -
"No-l forgot twas that stuff" said be,
hastily putting back the bottle. "But &c.
out my shirts and stockings, and pack them
up, SO that may secede at once, and join
the noble army of South Carolina patriots"
"But you have renowned all your shirts
: and stockings" cody answered Mrs. s.,
"for they are articles of Norther manu-.
facture."
"None of your treacherous CANNON"
shouted Stillinger, ''all my shirts, except
the collars and wristbands, are made Of
pure Southern cotton"
"Ies. but the cotton was woven into
muslin a, the Lowell mill, and made into
shirts by Yankee sewing machine replied
Mrs. StIllinger.
'This is the way the North adds insul, to
injury" exclaimed Mr.. S., much enraged.
al think with Governor Brown, of Georgia,
that instead of seeding from the Union
ourselves. the best plan is to drive the
Nor'herners out Of it !; and so, madam,
instead Of going out Of the house myself,
III turn you out.'
With these words, he seized the aston
i.hed lady By the arms, and showed her into
the entry. Here there stood large tub Of
water, which was about to be used for
serubbine and Mrs. StiIlinger (who. as we
have said, was more than a match for her
husband in all respeets) grasped him By the
by the collar. flung him into the tub, and
rolled him over three or four times before
she released him. Soured, and shivering,
and sobered, Mr.. Stil!inger crspt up stairs
to change his clothes, whining forth:
why, Jane, only wanted to see If 1
could frtghten you. I'm no. such blamed
fool as to try secession in earnest. ONLY
send me I'D glass of hot .oddv, and IN no,
ask for any other Concession,
And so Mr.. ssiliinger did not secede.-
Cincinnati Ga-ettc.