The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1861-03-26

Clty OF Carordelet 10 standing COMMITTEE
of the House,
Mr.. Riley obtained the floor, and address
cd tho House.
Mr.. SPEAKER: Everybody is a pitching
into this matter like toad frogs into willow
swamp, on a lovely evening in the balmy
month of June, when the mellow light OF
tho full moon fills with delicious flood the
thin, ETHEREAL atmospheric air. Applause.
Sir, | want to put in a word, or perhaps q
word and a half
There seems to be n disposition to fight.
| say, ifthcre is any fighting to be done come
on with your corn.cobs and lightning bugs
Applause. In the language Of tho ancient
Roman,
Come one, come all this rock shall fly
From its firm base-in pigs eye"
Now, there has been greet deal OF bonn
bast here to-day. call it bombast from
"Alphs' to Omega Il don't understand
the meaning Of the words, thoush.) Sir the
question to refer, is great and magnificent
question. 1t is the all absorbing question
like sponge. Sir-a large unmeasurable
sponge, Of globe shape, in small tumbler Of
water--it sucks up everything Sir, stand
heic with the weapons have designated, TO
defend the tights of ST. Louis County, the
rights OF any other cOunty-even the Coun-
ty Of Cedar itself, Laughter and applause.
Sir, the debate has assumed a lattudinosity.
We have Lad little blackjack buncombc
little two bit buncombe, bombast buncombe,
bung-hole buncornbc, and the devil and his
grandmother knows what ether kind OF bun
combe. Laughter.l
Why, Sir, just give some Of 'em little
Southern soap and Northern water. and
quicker than a bound pup can lick a skillet
they will make enough buncombe lathcr to
wash the golden flock that roams abroad tho
azure meads of heaven. [Cheers and laugh
ter. ! alude to the starry firmaneut.
The Spcakcr-The gentleman is out Of or.
der. He must confne himself to the ques.
ton.
Mr., Rey-Just retain your linen if YOU
please. III stick 10 the text as close as a
pitch plaster to pine plank, or lean pig
to a not jam rock. (Cries Of SEQ On ;" "N""'h
10.
want to say TO these carboniferous gen.
tlemen, these igneous individuals, these deto.
mating demonstrators, these pereginuous vol
canoes, come on with your combustibles! If
| don't-welI, I'll suck the Gulf Of Mexico
through a goose quill. Laughter and ap.
plause Perhaps you think | am diminative
tubers and sparse in the mundane elevation.
You may discover, gentlemen, you are labor
ing under as great misapprehension as
though you had incinerated your inner vest
ment. In the language Of the noble bard
IL not born IN a thicket
To he scared by cricket!
Sir, we have lost our proper position. Our
proper position is to the zenith and nadlr-
our heads to tho one, our heels to the other
at right angle with the horizon, spanded by
that azure arc of the lustrous firma nent, bright
with the corruscations Of innumcrable constel-
lations and proud as a speckcd stced on
a county-court day. Cheers.
"But how have the mighty fallen!' in the
language Of tho poet Silversmith. We have
lost our proper position. We have assumed
a sloshindcuar or a siagonologcal position.
And what is the causel Echo answers, 'Bun.
combe,' Sir, Buncombe.' The people have
been fed on buncombe, while a lot of spawn.
ed, ringbonel, hamstrung ,winl-gaed, swine
eyed, split-hoofed, distempered, poll-eviled,
pot.belled politicians have had their noses
10 public crib until there amt fodder g.
nough left to make Cruel for sick grass
hopcr. Cheers and aughter.
Sir, thcsa hungry brats keep tuggng at the
public pap They say, "Let down your milk,
Sucky, or you'll have Ssp!it bag" Do they
think they can stuff such buncombc down our
craw' No, Sir; you might as well try to
stuff butter in wild cat with hot 'awl.
Continued aughter.l The thing cant be
did.
The public grindstone is great institution,
Sir-yes, Sir, a great institution-one OF tho
greatest, perhaps, that ever rose, regned, or
fell. But, Sir, there is too much private CIT
lery grounl. TIE thing won't pay. Occa'
sionaIy big AK is brought in to be fixed up,
ostonsibly for the purpose of hewIng down
the gnared trunks Of error and clearing out
the brushwood Of ignorance and folly thatoo'
struct the public highway of progress, The
machine whirls, the AK is applied. The look
crs-on are enchanted with the brilliant sparks
elected, Th, tool is polished, keenIy edged
and, while the public stare in gaping expect
ancy Of seeing the road cleared, the Implement
is slyly taken otf to improve the private acres
of some sfaitnfu friend Of the people
What is the result' The distractions remain
unmoyed. The people curse because tho car
lags-or, if it does move, 'tis at the expense
of broken wheel and jadod and sorebacked
team. ] tell you, the thing won't pay. The
time will come when the usual promotories
Of these disinterested grindcrs will be put to
tho stone instead Of their hardware. Ap.
,Iouoy.l L um mighty afraid the Inacllino Is
a going to stop. The grease is giving out
/ laundering fast. 1t is beginning to creak on
its axis. Gentlemen, it is my private opinion
confidently expressed, that all the gilt is
pretty near orn off. Applause.
Mr. Speaker, you must excuse for my latl.
tudinosity and cilcuulocutoriness. My old
blundcrbuss scattors amazingly, but if any.
body gets pcppcred, it amt my fault If they
are in the way
Sir these candadical, ,supcrsquirtlca ,mahog
any. faced gent:y-Wbat do they know a
bout the blessings Of freedom! About as
much, Sir, as toad frog does Of high glory
Do they think they can escape me! III FOL
low them through psndemonium and high
water! ICheers and laughter.
These arc the ones that have got our liber'
ty pole of its pcrpe7dicularity. 'Tis they
who would rcnd tho stars aud stripcs-that
noble flag, tho blood of our revolutionary
fathers embalmed in its red. The purity oI
| II Al L.,