The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1861-06-21
I" Var to the knire !" ssd the man.

on our jerney at about the rate Of speec
which is ginerally obsaryed by properly.con
Quoted funeral PROFESSIONS. A handsuu
yung gal, with a red musketer bar on th'
back part Of her he'd, and sassy little blacl
hat tipt over her forrcd, sot in the seat will
me. She wore little Secesh flag pinncc
onto her hat, and she was goln for to sex
her troo love, who had jined the Southern
army, all so bold and gay. So she told me
She was chilly and offered her my blanket
Father liyin? axcd.
Z" Yes SIR"
I" Got any uncles?" I axed.
"a heap. Uncle Thomas is ded, tho"
I" Peace to Uncle Thomas's ashes, and sue
cess to him will be your uncle Thomas
Lean on me, my pretty Seceshur, and linsc'
in blissful repose." She slept as securely as
in her own houscn, and didn't disturb the
solemn stiffness Of the night with ary snoro
At the first station troop Of sojers enter
ell the cars and inquired If "old Wa,
Wurks" was on bord. That was the disrcs.
pectiue stilo in which they referred to me.
Z" Becaws if old Walks Werks is on bord, u
sed man with face like dubble-brested
lobster, "we're going to hang old Walks
Werks!"
"My illustrious and patriotic Bummcrs ~
sez l, a gttin up and takin orf my shappoo,
Z" If you alludc to A. Ward, it's my plees-
in dooty to inform you that he's ded. He
saw the error of his vase at Is minutes past
yesterday, and stabbed hisself with stuff
fed sledstate, dyin In five bootiful tabloos to
slow moosic ! His larst words was: My
perfeshunal karcer is ovro jerk no more!
And who be you?"
I'm o stoodent in Senator Benjamin's
lor ofiss, I'm going up North to steal sum
spoons and things fer the Southern army,
This was satisfactory and the intossicated
sojers went orr. At the next station the
pritty little seccsher awoke and sed she must
git out there. bid her kind adoo and
Civ her sum provisions. "Accept my bles-
sin and this hunk of gingerbread !" l scd.
She thanked me muchly and tript gaily away
There's considerable human. .natur in man,
and I'm airade l shall alters give aid and
comfort to the enemy when he Gums to me
in the shape of a nice yung gal.
At the next station didn't get orr so easy.
I was dragged out of the cars and rolled in
the mud for seven minutes for the purpuss of
+" takin the conseet out Of me-" as secesh-
ur kindly stated.
was let up finally, when powerful large
Seccshur came up and embraced me, and to
show that he had no hard feelins aSin me,
put his nose into my mouth. | returned
the compliment by placing my stummick
suddenly agin his right foot, when he kindly
made spittoon Of his ablc-bodicd face. Ac-
tooated bya desire to SEQ whether the So
ceshur had bin vaccinnatod, then fastened
nv ,oa,b onto bis left coat.sl.eye. and tore
:, 70 tho sbon,dcr We then yilently bunt-
od our beds together for a few minites,
danced round little and sot in mud pud-
die. We riz to our feet again & bya sud-
a.. ,,a ,a,,;, ,nov,mo,t I nl,ced nv left
ava AGAINST tho secesburs fist. We then
rnsboJ into each others arms and fell under
n two boss wagon. was very much 'ex-
h,,.,;d and didn't care about pettin up agin.
but tho man sed bo rekoncd I'd better, and
concluded would. He pulled Inc up, but
I hadn't been on nv feet more'n two seconds
asoro tho ground flew IN and hit me in the
hoa Tho crowd ssd I, was bipb old snort,
hn, I koodep. zaeklv see where the larfter
oomo IN Ir;, and W, embraced apin. We
Lorsod nadlv n n steep hank. when I got
the uppcr hand of nv antacernist and threw
him into the raveen. He fell about forty
feat. striking n crindstone pretty hard.
understood ho was injured. / havn't heard
from the grindstone.
A man in cokt hat cum up and sed he
felt rs tho a apology was due to me. There
was mistake. Tho crowd had taken me
for another men l told him not to mention
it, axcd him If his wife and little ones was
SOS to be about, and got on bord the train,
which had stopped at that station 90 min
its for refreshments. got all wanted.
1t was the heartiest meel I ever ct.
was rid on ralc the next day, bunch
of blazin fire-crackcrs bein tied to my cote.
tales. Il was a finc spectycal in dramatic
-. oe r;.w h,, 7 d;dn,, on;ov !, 7 had
w. , A.. ,,,,L,;, hoo,.