Lamoille newsdealer. [volume] (Hyde Park, Vt.) 1860-1877, 1861-10-04
DoEsTIcKs REsPEcTFuLLY INaUIRETH.
.-swHAT DO THE WOMEN WANT US TO
DO ABOUT THE WAR:

One treason why tits 50 difficult to
please d woman Isl that she seldom knows
herself what she wants. In most cases it
is as hard to satisfy woman as it would
be to content a captain who would set
you to steer his ship and wouldn't tell
you whether he wanted you to go to .Jer-
sey or to Japan. They wouldn't be sat
is6ed, whatever you do. Especially in
the matter Of war. Particularly, in the
matter of the present war. Your wifesor
mother, or sister, or whoever may be the
woman that owns you, refuses to be con-
tent, no matter what you do. Ifyou don't
join amilitary company, the sulks, insin-
yates that you are coward, turns up her
nose, and "wishes she was a man."vE1f
you do join said company, she scolds about
thesexpense, grumsles apout the loss of
time, and growls whenever you 60 to
drill; though in spite of her growing,
she always:saves the choicest part of the
dinner for you when you Dc, come. ' I, ,5so
Then she laughs at you, and calls yOu
a drcssed-up-monkey," the first time SHE
sees you in uniform and then, as soon as
you are gone out of the house, sherushes
over to Mrs. Jones to tell what ), splen-
did officer, her husband is, and how
magnificent" he looks in his new militia
ry dress. 4. Then, if your regiment is Or
dered away, and you insinuate that " bus
mess affairs will keep you at home, all
her fire is blazing in an instant, and she
upbraids you for " backing OUT and the
critical moment, and insinuates that you
are "play-boy soldiers; and then she
wishes she was a man-she'd show folks
how to fight, Then when you finally
makeup your mind to 60 to the seat Of
war, she bursts into wet tears which spot
yournewo uniform and tarnish the gold
lace on your sleeves, aud thinks "",you
ought to be ashamed togo off and leave
your family" She vows "she don't be-
ilievc you care q straw for your wife, or
cent for your sweet children;;" she 4" knows
you would rather be anywhere than at
home" and "wishes she were a. man she
teach the pref lent better than to send
men away from their families" sss ssss
Then when the day comes for you to
start she VOWS that she will never speak
to you again if you persist in going"
Then when you take, a paper out Of your
pocket, and pretend to read a Through
from the commandant, cxcusing you and
giving you leave to stay at home, she
throws her apron over her head, sits down
on the floor and howls aloud, !" to think
she should have coward for her, Auss
band'-that her a. husband sh MID be
afraid to 60 to tho wars And then,
when you tell her that it's all mistake,
and that youalesa gong after salls She
bowls louder than ever, because she
rknows you will be killed, ygsorsshesfeels
it in her bones that yon willcome home
with twogwoodeu legs, and then howrcap
you take her to the academy on opera
nights !? Then she resorts in turn to
everyone of the immense lists offemale
tactics to keep you at home; she weeps
she 'banters, = she pokes fun at you-she
wishes she was aman-she gets mad
she sulks-she threatens to 60 hometc
her nother-she coaxes-she /" won't ever
live with you another day she scolds,
she entreats,; and, as aslast result, she
faints-in this case she always falls into
your arms ifyou make an effort ID catch
hers~if you-don't effer, and if it-is'early
sss-
in the morning, and she hart made her
bed yet, she'll fall on the bed; buff the
bed-is nicely made up, she'll fall-on the
carpet 50 as not to muss the bed; if the
fainting dodge don't work, and you still
are resolved to 60, she VOWS she hates
you, and then she'll never speak to you
again" ianda then, in order to prove the
bitterness other hate, she goes off and
packs Your hayersack full Of the daiinties
and delicacies Of the season then, after
all,lat thesery last moment, and throws
her armsaround your neck, and whispers
that she |" loves you best of all in the
world, Hand that shell nebessuch good
4 Il