The constitutional union., 1861-02-08
AN ORIGINAL LIFE-PRESER YER.

bine, a cutlass, a dagger and an umbrella; but was indebted for his preservation to the umbrella; it grappled with a bush when he was rolling over a precipicc In like manner my friend W, though armed with sword, rifle and hunting-knife, owed his ex- istence to-his wig.
 He was specimen-hunting 0or W--is is frst-rate naturalist) somewhere in the back woods of America when, happening to light upon a dense covert, there sprang out upon him-not a panther or a catamount-but, with a terrible whoop and yell, wild Indi- an, one of tribe then hostile to our settlers. l W-'s gun was mastered in a twinkling 1 himself stretched on the earth the barbarian s i knife, destined to make him bolder than Granby's celebrated marquis, leaped eagerly from its sheath.
 Conceive the horrible weapon making its l preliminary fourishes and circumgyrations ; ] the savage features, made savage by paint and ruddle working themselves up to demonia- cal crisis of triumphant malignity; his red right hand clutching the shearing knife !; his left the frizzled top-knot; and then the arti- fcal scalp coming off in the Mohawk grasp,
 W. says the Indian catchpoll was, for some moments, motionless with surprise; recover ing at last he dragged his captive along, through brake and jungle, to the encamp- ment. \ peculiar whoop soon brought the whole horde to the spot. The Indian ad- dressed them with vehement gestures, in the course of which w. was again thrown down, the knife again performed its circuits, and the whole transaction was pantomimically de- scribed. All Indian sedateness and restraint was overcome The assembly made every demonstration of wonder and the wig was fitted on rightly. askew, and hind part before, by hundred pair of red hands. Capt. Gull liver's glove was not greater puzzler to the Ionbyems.
 From the men it passed to the squaws, and from them down to the least of the urchins WIS head in the meantime frying in a mid summer sun. 1t length the phenomenon re- turned to the hands of the chief, venerable graYbeard he examined 1t atresh, very at tentiyelv. and after a long deliberation main tained with true Indian silence and gravity, made a speech in his own tongue that pro- cured for the anxious. trembling captive very unexpected hon0rs. In fact, the whole tribe of women and warriors danced around him with such unequiyocal marks of homage, that even W. comprehcnded that he was not ill., tended for sacrifice.
 He was then carried in triumph to their wigWams his body daubed with their body colors of the most horrible patters and he was given to understand that he might choose any of their marriaceable maidcns for a sQuaw Availing himself of this privilege, and so becoming, by degrees more proficient in their language, he learned the cause of this extraordinary respect. It was considered that he had been a great warrior that he had. by mischmce of war. been overcome and tufted; but that, whether by yalor or stratagem-each equally estimable among the savagcs-he had recovered his liberty and his scalp.
 As long as W kept his own counsel he was safe; but. trusting his Indian Della withsthc secret of his locks, 1t soon got wind among the squaws, and from them became known to the warriors and chiefs. A solemn sitting was held at midnight by the chiefs to consider the propriety of knocking the poor wig-owner on the head but he had re- ceiyed a timely hint of their intention, and when the tomahawks were seeking for him, he Was on his way, with his lite-prescrver, toward a British settlement.
 -~azz-
 TIE C00LEsT THING ON RECoRD-As General Scotts army was marching uium- phantly into the city of Mexico, procession of monks emerged from the gate of con- : vent situated on the emiuence at the right and advanced with slow and measured tread until they met the army at right angles The guide or leader of the procession was yene- rable priest, whose hair was whitenei with the frost of many winters. He held in both hands contribution box, upon which there was a lighted candle, and when within few : feet of the army the procession halted As the army proceeded, many true believer in St. Patrick dropped some small coin or other , into the Old priests box. And, when 1t was ; observed that a soldier was searching in his pockets for something to bestow, the old priest would step forward and hold his box to receive the donations.
 Ultimately there came along tail gaunt limber-sided. gander-l looking Iankee who, on : seeing the poor priest, thrust his hands into the very depths of his brooches pockets, as il in search for q dime. or something of the kind Thepriest observing this movement, advanced as usual while Jonathan, holding forth g greasy-looking roll of paper, commenced very deliberately unfolding it. The old priest an ticipated liberal donation, and put on an ail of the most exquisite satisfaction. Jonathan . continued to unroll piece after piece of tri twisted smoking tobacco. lie next thrust his hands into another pocket, and drew forth s clay pipe, which with the utmost delibera tion, he proceeded to fill by pinching of small particles of the tobacco. When this was done, having replaced his tobacco in hi brooches pocket, he stopped forward anC lighted his pipe by the old priests candle and making an awkward inclination of tho head Gntended, perhaps, for bow,) he said ' Much obleeged to ye, Squire" and pro , cceGcd on.
 TINE.-Ninety years hence, not single man CT woman, now twenty years of age, vii be alive Ninety years. Alas. how many of the lively actors at present on the stage ol life will make their exit long ere ninety year, shall have rolled away And could we be sure of ninety years. what are they? "A tale that is told;" a dream an empty sound that passeth on the wings of the wind away and is forgotten. Years shorten as man ad