Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1861-08-21
A Meal is 4 Meal.

Ol his nOFSe, nc eiileied Iiic ioolti'
:'You may give me-" said he to the
landlord, something to eat, but merely
a cold bite. My business is very urgent,
SO anything will serve my turn for the
present"
Scarcely moment had elapsed before
he was ushercd into small and dirty
diningroom, and the fare placed before
him, although u small bite, was meagrc
in the extreme, consisting of the remain.
der of dish of cold pork, few potatoes
aud glass Of water.
Swallowing a few hasty morsels, he
again presented himself ut the bar and
demanded his bill.
Half dollar for your dinner" said
Bonitace.
Half dollar | seldom dispute tav-
ern bill, sir, but for such as have had
the charge is an imposition"
"A meal is a meal" said the landlord,
"and that is our regular price"
:" 1t is small sum to quarrel about"
said the traveller, but prefer to be pill
tered in more manly manner"
GA meal is a NEAL" again retortcd the
landlord 1--WE always charge that wheth.
er man eats more or less, good or bad" !"
Percciving alteration to be usees, the
stranger paid the bill, called for his horse
and rode away with the muttered excla-
nation that he would sometime have ad-
equate revenge.
His destination was about fifteen miles
distant. After arriving there he soon
mentioned the circumstance to a friend
and that person answered that the tavern
was notorious for its extravagant charges !;
but that he could find man who would
put the landlords maxim, "a meal is a
meal" to the test. According ly, before
he set out, our traveller was introduced
to this person, and an arrangement was
Immediately made to carry out his pro-
ect. lie was TO return Immediately after
the accomplishment Of his business, and
they should call at the inn and have Il
sumptuous meal. In a few days the trav-
eller returned, and called upon his coad-
jutor, who had abstaincd in order to do
justice to his employer, who was to bear
the expense of his dinner and journey.
The advcnturcr was hurley, good ma
rlrcd fellow, something of Il wag, aud ex.
trcmcly shrewd. He was, withal most
Unsuitable glutton; eating and telling large
stories were his cnjoymcnts. He was
fortunately an entire stranger to the inn.
keeper.
Landlord" said the traveller, 81 owe
this man, Mr.. John Jones, a dinner which
lost by a very foolish bet. Furnish one
and will pay for it,
"What will you havc!" asked the land
lord of Mr.. Jones.
y roast turkey, sir.
The landlord issued his orders to the
occupants of the kitchen. They required
some little time to comply with the or
dcrs. The landlord and Jones soon made
themselves old acqulintanccs.
Rather a red face Of yours, landlord
havnt seen anything that locks like
spring in Il long time before; fine bios
SONS, sir"
You are rather crooked character
Mr.. Jones. .
Rather, sir, but not quite so crooked
sir, as tree once knew. 1t was the tai
: lest buttcrnnt ever saw. Standing CLOSE
to it one day i'll thunder storm, saw ;
squirrel on one of the topmost branches
The lightning struck the same branch
about three feet above him; the squire
startcd-thc lightning had to follow tn,
grain, and the squirrel went straigh down
So counfounded crooked was that tree
sir, that the squirrel, by my watch, got te
the bottom precisely three minutes be
fore the lightning.
That's lie" exclaimed the landlord
GA lie true sir, true as any story evcl
was afterwards saw that tree cut dowl
and made into rails for hog pasture
The hogs would crawl through twcnt,
times day, and SO laundering crooked
were those rails, that every time the hog
got out they found themselves i'll the pas
ture again.
Before Jones had time to tell another
story the bell rang for his dinner Thu
turkey was there, ilankcd on one side by
Il huge dish Of potatoes, on the other by
condiments Of various kinds.
81 will thank you," said Mr.. Jones tc
tho damsc! III waiting, "to cook me q few
slices of beef; | am afraid | shall not b,
able to make dinner on this"
The girl withdrew in amazcment, while
: Jones made avigorous attack on the fow
which rapidly disappeared before his a]
vances. The vegetables, too, had scnsi.
bly, diminished, ard he had just laid his
hands upon an apple pie of uncommon
dimensions. when the girl made her APP
pearance with the beef
"Thank ye,' said Jones, "have the
goodness To cook me some pork steaks
rather rare, and bring me plate of pick
les; have a very strong appetite.
The girl disappeared, and Jones fell to
again, but with less alacrity than before.
He managed, however to dcvour the beef
just as the girl came in with the pork, the
pickles having in the meantime been ca
ten.
"Now, miss, I'll trouble you for some
fresh fish. Have you any?"
While the girl had gone to enquire for
this, the landlord, who had been apprised
of the sad havoc which had been made
among his viands, entered the room. At
this iuncture of affairs the girl came back
with the intelligence that they had moth
ing but picked salmon.
ssGiye me half dozen pounds of that,