The south-western. [volume] (Shreveport, La.) 1852-1870, 1861-05-01

Gehtiemen OF the JurYF said western LAWYER 81
uoh mean 20 lhslnuate that this man coYeOus per
So, Ply WI pet you hveIto one, that if you should
atetlUtap "itA lew HNe cent pieces and place
it within three inches of LII mouth von would rat
n1s SON, Would-the cdIrt and gentlemen of the
jury would not trust hinJ I'll 4 room Win rIto
and the angel Gabriel to GUARD it,
A steamboat passenger missing his handkerchief
ashed ~ Iflshman i he MD seen it, and nsnuated
charge Of theft. But aftd rwards fndnp his noctot
companion in his hat he bbgan to apoloGiza ssOL
don't be after making any IDoocv-it was d ,,ere ,7ie
take and on both sides tool You took mo for tbif
aud took you for jinte8lan."
cay caught sparrow, and about to devour
u When tffe sparrow said mo gentleman eats till he
washes his face The cat struck with this remark sct
Tue sparrow down. ana began to wash her face with his
paw put the sparrow flew away. This Vexed puss ex-
Iemeiy, ana sue sald: "A' long live / will eat
n"L ala WASH my lace aitefwards; which all cats do
lady paying visit to her daughter, who was d
young WIDOW, asked her Why she wore her widows
CARP SO long. Dear mamHa, don't you see replied
the daughter ~ saves me the expense Of advertising
lol husband, AZ every one sees am for sale bypr
Men sometimes think tbtt the high, dark cliffs Of
sorrow VIII darken their steam of life forever but
suddenly the green undulakine meadows snraad a.
away n pastoral beauty anF the daisies bloom along
the banks where the willows hang with bendna crrsse
fulness and grandeur.
wagish spcculator ond Of 4 numerous family i;
i
tne woflu, recently SAID: Five Years ago was not
worth a cent IN the world How see where | am hro'
my own exertiousn
"Wel, where are vOu2H
Ten thousand dollars in @ebtIo
An qnsophisticated COUNT lady seeing, for tie first
time, the queer looking DOME Of the canitol eoid.
81 suppose those are the gas worksgn
Yes madam" replied I gentleman friend ''they
manufacture gas there for tile whole nation
A contemporary inquiries il the young ladies eff the
present day are fitted for wi de- t,t,c5 49, :
tant inquiry is whether tile koung men are fttad e..
husbands.
How long did Adam rentlin in Paradise before lie
snnedE asked an amlaole fpouse Of her husband
III NC goI VIE? was the fTusy reply Of the brute
OF all degraded mortals milling sycopbantic back
olter + we most disgusting tie only lacks the phys
change his canded words intb a chaliae noison
USelu hhoWledge can haVF no enemies except the |
Ignorant y eheflShcs YOUTH delights the aged is an
ornament IN prosperity and yields comfort Ii extreme
adversely.
1t Is Just SAYING OF an Old writer, that men like
books, begin and end with blink leavcs-nfancv and
senty; and we mayadd THAI there is oftentimas moth
ing better between The two.
There i worse article thah Newark cider put off as
champagne turnp juice mad9 to sparkle with gas from
vitriol and marble dust being another dodrc az III
adultorators
recent philosopher has discovered a method v
AVOID oeins dannea! ''How1 how2 how?' everybody
asks. sNever run in debt"
young lady shouldn't be- unhappy because she il
not quito Us tall ais she woud#like To be n
easy thing to get 'tsplced.n
Albert what city y that y4u going to next fa?r
asked Anna q het peaa. XII you have no objec-
lions, I'm going to Have-Anul"
When men, oy age, ta int their sight and hearing.
they mad better console themFelyes with hevthought
that they have seen and heard aNite enough
If you wish to be certain pf What Won eet navor
IL v,,sl AM tE-- Il
marry sirl named AhH-becRuse AN" j. an indefinite
article.
u thought you told me, doctor that Smiths fever
had gone OFF, "oh, yes'-LiIs It and Smith went TO-
gether."
Some men read 50 much and think 50 little. that
nothing short OF forgetting halt OF what they knew
would ever give them the use of the other half
1t is not uncommon for Spanish ladies To nossess \
hundred fans. They collect aad hoard them al GER
man pipes o. a geologist hunts after specimens
When we fancy that we havh grown wiser ii il only
in many instances hat new pfeudiees have displaced
old ones.
when We get tired Of all the pleasures within our
reach we can have an unfainc resource IN tbnl.in
Of those that IRE out Of IT,
If sensuality were happindss beasts were happier
han man; but human happines ID lodged HI tba sonl
lot in the flesh. {
Anadvertisement lately APPEARED headed Iron bed
tsads and bedding We SUPPOSE The linen mrsf 81
heetiron. :
A dandy being told that LIE would have to wear
Wig, as he was getting grey exclaimed Indignantly
No, sir III dye first"
Good temper, like sunny day, sheds ! brightness
ver every thing.
What il that which never asks any questions but
eauires many answers?-Ihe street door
He that entertans dangerous design puts his head
lto halter. +
There il no mind that canro5 furnish some scraps Of
lteectual entertainment. !
Why is life the riddle of riddles? Because we must
Il giyeit up.