The south-western. [volume] (Shreveport, La.) 1852-1870, 1861-03-06

TO Hin whose soothing grace alone
Can hear and bless the Orphans moan,
----@s%----
BARNUx soLD AT LAsr--A public joke at P T Bar
nuns expense is not every day luxury, 7. l. b. for
many years having had the lauga on his side But at
length the prince Of sloTnea has been shown trick
that he did not knog before and the hero of the occa-
sion has been as very asut pa such occasions, son
of the Emerald Isle It seems that BiTnun, few days
ago. in great hurry 10 lie shaved, and entered his
ordinary place Of t0nsoial resort under the Park Hoe
but all tile Operatives were engaged, ard one other
customcr-a great brawny Irishuan, just landed, d
with beard aud head requiring very extensive at en-
tion-stooj between TIE exhibitor of the "what-isit?
and his turn as next ~ an in hurry, my good
mani" said PHneas ~ addressing Pat "and you give
me your turn win paw for ghat YOU want d0ua here
All right responded The delighted Irshman; aud the
Snowman was shaved and on his way TO keep his
eng cement merely SAYING he left the door, to the
proprietor Of the saloon '-D3 what this wants
pointing to the exile Of Erin-"and charge it to me-
No sooner was he gone than Patrick took OF his
"trusty," and thick cotton tic, and at the same time
asking the barber, mos tell me all you dof' why
cir responded the tclsorid operative, 1--WE shave
cut and clrl hair shalnpoon and battle All right,
then, said Pat, do all them things to me- Sorra one
ONE knows what they name but he said he'd pay for
them, all, an God b'e-syoul"
The barber saw the joke, ard did requisite pat
ting the big lrisaman throngb all the pfocese and
and bringing him out 70 pleasantly altered that he
scarcely knew himself
next morning. when thepropetor Of the saloon handed
him bll-'or shaving lripian 10 cents, cutting his
hair Is cents curling ii Z cents shampoonng ri
and bathing Irishpan rs cents-total for Irishman
81 10" Btrnum at once acknowledged the eorn-gave
a.receipt for the maze-but be is after the Irish exile
and swears if he catches hm he viii place him ehecby
jow between the ghatis ii? and the Azrec children
New York, Times
IaeYrand was erioying rubber, when tie CONVEX
slon turled on recent marriage OF elderly lady OF
respectable rank; How could Madame de Snake
such match? per-oa Of her rank to merry valet
ds.ghamb.ei "Ah," replied IlIeyrand, lit late
in the game at nine don't reckon honors'
On a very rainy day, man entering his house, was
Rccosted by his wife in Lbe following manner Now,
my dear while you are wet 20 ard fetch bucket Of
water he obcyed brought Tho water and threw it All
over her saving the same time, "Now ny dear while
you are wet 90 and fetch another"
my gracious" said lie, If some fairy would give
me pair Of wings wouldn't 30 to Mars, and Venus.
md Jupiter, and---" land Satan Interrupted
Mrs Paragton; .and I'm afraid youl 60 there with
out Bngs!"
It is highly ridiculous OF to set rid of our own faults
which is in our power, and sh5w abhornce of and be
80 eager reform tlaities Of other people which
is not ia our power
10 Cose thinks that Adam mils have been fast man
for he was ahead in tine h&man faee-but that scrptura
individual who lungered AID thsted in the wilderness
vas faster.
A fop Who was about starting down to New Orleans
proposed to purchase life prfseFver 20, you VIII
not want it, said the ceft Of the boat "bag Of wind
don't sink
Timothy saws the first time he went counting, he fe
as if pink angle had hauled him down rainbow with
piece Of chain ighenings into OF down. Where's
pistol?
The man who put up a long stovepipe without any
profanity has been found and company have secured
him for exhihi,ionin the principal cities He will draw
better than the pipe
"Do YOU understand me now2a numbered country
head he
inkstand. "ve got lkiing Of what you meant, re-
Piled the boy.
female writer says nbthng looks worse lady
than daInod stocking, Allow as 10 observe that stock
iags that need daring lCo6 great than darued
one5-darned II they DOM
A Young lady playing At cards, put down the ace Of
hearts observing t'thatsmv heart Upon viii ii the
gentleman whom she was playing, trumped it reoning
-''yeu see it Is mnea for own no other
An eastern editor saws He had pair of boots tight
that they came very near making him unver alist-
because he received his punishment as he went along
An "Arkansaw tragler' Pays he knew young fellow
down south who 50 fqad OF young woman, that
he rubbed off his nose kisbug her shadow on the wall
Figures won't lie, is an Old and Gomey expression; /
but few men can LOOK on fashionable woman's fg ire
nowadays, and say as much.
The Chinese have saying thai unlueky word drop
ped from the tongue canB5 be Brought back again by
CO lch ana six berses.
The laws of the nightingale mar be very delightful to
well fed man, but the llys OF hen ARE liked better
by hungry one.
Il i more honorable e5the head, well as to the
heart to be misled in our eagerness in the pursuit Of
truth thar to be safe FROM bludefng by conemst of
The evil consequencesot our crimes long survive the
commission and, like the ghostsof The murdered for
ever haunt the steps Of tha msleiaetor
Ite league Of Friendship is oue broken, the cabinet
Of secrets is unlocked ard they Fly wildly about ike I'M
cagedNirds.
An Ifishman cautions tile public against trusting or
harborlg his wife Peggy on hs account as he is not
married TO her
1t is good rule TO always to back your friends and
face your enemies.
An old maid speaking oil marriage says il i like any
other disease-where ther# lie theres hope
Why IS Texas like hutgrF taHary bird? Because
she wants to see seed. tsseFde
Why is negro like the pro proctor ota gambling sa-
loon9 Because he keeps sFaek lsgs
Women who sue for ore4eh oi 29oalss may fal y 81
r,onar. int they qeneralIyfrece heavy damages
WA, farmer agt5V1th kseEf t9Waru