The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1861-02-28
Government of Attraction.


Ensign Stebbins, in one of the Down
East satiles OF the Jack Downing school,
ocioateiy bes,riies kuotty problem that
seemed to stand in the way Of his pol,it
cal aspirations. by declaring himself In
favor OF the Maine law, but opposed TO
and Union savers would seem to have ta-
ken hint from the astute Ensign in their
treatment Of the founders OF the new Cot
ton Republic.
We do not here propose to combat the
idea Of Government by Attraction-we
ouly insist that the Fire Eaters .ball not
enjoy monopoly of its advantages
Let as all have share.
Prisoner at the bar" says Judge
Goggles. in his most iB Bposing and awful
manner, "you have been convicted of
picking b. J.'s pocket Of wallet con
tsiuing sixty odd dollars, beside valuable
notes aud papers The crime is grand lar
ceuy by statute; the penalty several years
hard labor in the State Prison. The
proof is clear, the ofeuse is rank. What
reason have you to give why the sentence
OF the law should not uoW be passed oB
you!
"Wby, please your Honor says the
culprit, staggering at the idea of the
Judges jolly greenness, II Seceoled lat
night about ten o'clock, and resumed my
individual sovereignty. | am no longer
citizen o; this State, nor of any State,
but arr entirely 90 my own hook. If |
should ever resume my forGer subordi-.
nation to the State whereof you are well
deserving pillar, I'll cal! aud let you
! know"
"Ah!indeed. 'rejoins the ebagrined and
| chapfallen judicial iubctionsry. Il was
not aware oil that circumstance. Of course
you will go where you please" Then turn
ipg to the Courts right handma be says
sternIy, "Mr. Sheriff. your gross careless
ness and neglect OF duty has cot US day 5
hard work Tor nothing. Never bring auo,h.
er culprit to this bar without itst ascertain
ing that ne has not seeded, and wil! not
do 30, even though the trial should so a.
gainst him !"
MIR Keeper" says the foremost Of
the conqcts of Sing Sing, on rising from
a hearty breakfast. and feeling himself
in good condition Tor travel, Il give you
fair notice that the whole six hundred OF
US here present have seeded from the
State which We have thus far patronzed
with our aliegla and resumed our o.
risiDal and independent sovereignty as
rational beings. A. there is no time now
for quoting opposite passage from the So
cial Contract, Ne siDply giSe you notice
of the material fact, aud warm you aud
your underliogs to stand out OF our way"
"Of course" responds the polite Off
cial. ''if you will have it so, so be It.
Messrs. Guardsl be good enough to let
these gentlem me q pass-tbey have seeded.
you see, and will not remain with US any
longer"
Mr. Hsrdcase." says the jaiIor to
one of bis borders. II am under the disa
sreeabe necessity of reminding yon that
you are sentenced to be hung attWelve
o clock 10 day, aud il is now quarter
past eleven Will you be good enough to
make an5 little arrangeUents you may
deem desirable, so that we shall be read ,
for business when the clock strikes"
II hardly think it adsisable,' is Mr..
Hardcase's considerate reply. IL caD
saw that feel an attraction for the gal
lows this raw morning; and, since have
got all the board aud lodging out Of you
that the law allows me, think | shail
secede in few minutes, aud 20 about ID ,
business"
.Mr. III :" remarks the jailer, in toDe
of mild vet keeu rebuke," II must say thai
yonr conduct is not such as one gentle
man bss a right to expect from another
Have | not always treated you with The
ID ost sensitive regard for Jour feelings
Have you pot lived like fighting cool
since you liIst condescehded to honor ms
with your company Has the wore
'hemp been once named By ue IN youI
presence! Have | ever, in my mos
sportise moods. cracked joke with yo'
, about dancing Oh nothiDef Have l eve
insinuated that most men prefer to 60 u
elory with their boots offl Yet here has'
you allowed ne to rquander four shil
, lings of good money on rope tor whicl
, at the last moment you deprive ge OF an,
> usel Nay. have invited M very So
: lected friends to view the impressive Ger
emouy for which to day was assigned
and some Of them are already 10 th
9 building, while the rest are BY this tins
= on the way. | have the ns-lsst OF e.