The Jeffersonian Democrat. [volume] (Chardon, Ohio) 1854-1865, 1861-04-12
A Satirical Sketch.
The Allantic Monthiy, for January.

a numerous and satircal article on Wash
ington City, which closes in this wise:
1.-The list Of unique prodigies OF Wash
ington is without limit. But marvels
heaped together cease TO be marvellous,
and Of all places in the world, museum
is the most tiresOme. So, among the
whirl and roar Of Winter life in Washing
ton, when one has no time to read. write
or think, and scarcely time to eat, drink
and sleep. when the days fly like hours,
and the brain reels under the excitement
of the protrac,ed debauch. life becomes an
intolerabe bore. Yet the place has an
intense facination for those who suffer
most accutely from the fedium vitde, to
which every one is more or less h prey
and men and women who have lived in
Washington are seldom conented else.
where. The moths return 10 the flaming
candle until they are consumed.
In conclusion, it must be admitted that
Washington is the elyseum Of oddities,
the limbo Of absurdities, an embroglio Of
Iudicrous anomilies. Plauned on scale
OF surprising grandeur, its architectural
execution is almost contemplate. Blessed
with the name Of the purest ncn, il has
the reputation OF Sojom. The seat OF the
law making power. it is the seat of vic.
!ence and disorder which disturb the
peace and harmony Of the whole republic
the chosen resort for duellng, clan
desiine marriages, and the most slupen-
dous thefls. ...
1t is city without commerce, and with.
out manufacture ; or. rather, its com
merce is Illicit, and its manufactures arc
newspaper correspondents, who weave
tissues OF fiction out Of the warp of rumol
and the web Of prevarication. The site Of
the United States Treasury, il is the home
Of everything but affluence. It's public
buildings are splendid, its private dwell.
lings generally squallid. The houses are
low, the rents high ; the streets are broad
the crossings narrow The hacks are black
the horses white; the squares are trianges,
except that Of the capitol, which is oval
and the water is so soft that i: is hard "a
drink it, even with the admixture o
alcohol.
IL has monument that will never be
tioished,a "a capitol which is TO have dome,
n scientific institute which does nothing
but report the rise and fall of the ther,
momeIer, and two pieces OF equestrian
statuary which it would be waste Of tim.
TO crticise. II boasts OF a sreamlet dig
nified by the name Of the river Tiber, and
this streamlet is OF the size and much the
appearance OF a vein in dirty mans arm
1t has canal, but it is mud puddle du
ring one half Of The day, and an empty
ditch during the other.
In spite of the labors Of Ike Smith,
sonian Institute, il has no particular
weather. 1t has the climate of all parts
of the habitable globe. 1t rains, halls
freezes and blows, all in the space o
lwen,y.four hours. After fortnight o
steady rain, the sun shines out, and il
half an hour the streets are filled will
clouds of dust.
Property in Washington is exceedingly
sensitive. the people alarmingly callous
The men are fine looking, the womer
homely. The latter have plain faces, bu
magnificent busts and graceful 6gures.-
The former have an imposing presence
| "'AS 80 N''PNJ poShS'b " S'Sa' hailC anu
small conscience. Notwithstanding al
these impedments and disadvantages
Washington is progressing rapidly. II i
fast becoming large city, but mus
always remain a deserted village in th,
Summer. lis destiny is that Of the Union
l, will be the greatest capitol the worl,
ever saw. or it will be 'parched place il
the wilderness, a sail land and not inhab
tied, and every one that passeth thereby
shall be astonished and wag his head"
The New BORN AND THE DEAD.-Lav
ater in his "Physognomy." makes th,
following curious remarks Il have hac
occasion TO observe some infants immed
ately on their birth. and have found a,
astonishing resemblance between thei
profile and that Of their father. A few
days after, the resemblance almost entirely
disappeared the natural influence OF th,
air and food, and probably the change o
posture, had so altered the desig gn of th,
face, that you could have believed it 6
different individual. I aficrward saw two