Delaware State journal and statesman. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1855-1870, 1861-01-25

said n darkey to similar specimen OF animated
nature, the other day, al want to propose to yo'
a question which hab lately associated my un
derstandiug. SposO marries n yaler gal, an'
lubs her berry much aud some day gets SICK
and dies, and goes to IIeaben and arter whit
anoder niger Gums long and marries my OLE
woman, and lubs her too now wants TO know
arier dey both die, and cum to heaben, which o.
US is to have my wench ?"
POmpy stood thoughtlully for moment, ther
looking SNOWFALL in the face, and reverently
shaking his head, replied,
"AIy frieu', il your wife and her man go to de
good land, you need hab no fears, for you wont
be dar to pick any muss |"
Mr.. What-you.call-him says his wife told him
that she had been informed that Mr. Stick-n-
the mud's Wife's cousin, had heard how that
Mrs Tatte guessed she saw somebody go into
Virgins house, when nobody could have been
there but Mrs. Virgins We hardly credit the
report, but feel it our duty to circulate it.
Why does the weathercock point to a high mo-
raj truth? Ans-It shows man what zane
thing it is to aspire.
Why is a bow-legged man like holiday down
South? Ans.-Because you see the Knee grops
out (uegroes OUT.
Why is summer like pride? Ans.-Becsuse
il goeth before fall = VanilV Fair
Why is horse the most miserable of animals?
Ans because his thoughts are always on the
rack.
Why would printer make good lawyer! :
Ans,-Because ne always understands his case
The following neat sentiment was drank stand
ing nj private fete among dc fust circle colored
elite of New York. few evenings since:-
Here's to de colord far sec, der face needs no
paint der head no fumery."
INGEsIoUs DEVICE OF WoMAN--As q woman
was walking, man looked at and followed her.
"Why," said she = do you follow me ?"
Because have fallen in love with you"
Why SO My sister, who is coming after,
is much handsomer than | am; 60 and make
love to her"
The man turned back and saw woman with
an ugly face and being greatly displeased, re-
turned and said, "Why did you tell me q
story7"
The woman answered, "Neither did you tell
me the truth. II you are in love with me, why
did you look for another woman ?"
A CAUTIOUS JUDdE An Irish Judge tried
two most notorious fellows for highway robbery.
To the establishment of the court, as we'll as the
prisoners themselves, they were found not gull
ty. AS they were being removed from the bar,
the Judge addressing the gaoler, said " Mr..
Murphy, you would greatly ease my mind II you
would keep these two respectable gentlemen I'M
ill seven, or half-past seven o'clock, for mean
to set out for Dublin at five, and / should like
to have at least two hours start of them"
A man up town says he has a little machine
in his house which has acquired n perpetual NC
ton. 1t is very simple contrivance, requires
no weights, lines, or springs to make it 60, but
go it does. and not only will not stop, but to
save his life he cannot stop it, 1t is his sister
James tongue
A gentleman observed to another that on Off
Ger in the army had left his house without pay
ing his rent. ooh :" exclaimed Frank Mat
thews, "yOu mean the lieutenant"
An Irishman's description of making can
non 80" Take long hole aud pour brass around
it,"
An Irishman had been sick long time and
while in that state would occasionally cease
breathing, and life be apparently extinct for
some time, when he would come to again On
one of those occasions when he had just ava
Aened from his sleep, his friend, Patrick, asked
him,
"And how'll ye know, Jimmy. when yer dead?
yer after waking up every time"
" Bring me glass of whiskey, and say
here's till ye, Jimmy, and if don't rise and
drink, then bury me-"
alt is great pity that you come dangling at
my heels Mr.. Nonenity," said consequential
lady to her sentimental adorer; you remind me
of barometer tAat IL filled with nothing in the
upper story" " Most amiable of your sex"
said he, " for 20 lattering a compliment, let me
remind you, that you occupy it entirely"
"sonny, what are wages hero ?"
"Don't know
What does your father get on Saturday
night2"
fright as brick"
If tree we're to break window, what would
the window sayg Tree-mend-us.
gentleman meeting an old friend whom he
had not seen for long time. congratulated him
on lately coming into possession of large land
ed estate. "There was such q report, replied
the other; "but you may depend upon it, it
was quite grouadiess"
darby preacher arose to announce his text
as follows:
"In the fust pistol oh Glover, second chapter,
and two hundred and ninety fust verse /"
Hold up Doctor" cried out one of his hear
crs you've got in de wrong book; you mean
de pistol of Timothy, l spose o.
The preacher hesitated moment, and with
very profound look, said, "Well must cave in
dis time; dough l knowed dat de text was
somewhere among de grasses !"
An old bachelor is a traveller upon lifels rail-
road, who has entirely failed to make the pro
per connections.
Easily SATIsFIED.-A Ions. yerdant
looking chap from the country lately dropped
into one of our intelligence Offices He was
asked what situation he should like. "waal,"
he replied, want to 60 into store and larn to
be merchant, but kin work in a tan yard"
LOVE WILL FIND wAY,-There is cock
ney youth in town, who, every time he wishes
TO got glimpse of his sweetheart cries "Firel"
directly under her window. In the alarm of the
moment, she plunges her head out of the win
dow, and inquiries "Where ?" when he poetcal-
ly slaps himself on the bosom and exclaims,
:" Ere, my Hangolina !"
Horne ToOke, being asked by George the Third
whether he played at cards, replied, "No, your
Majesty; the fact is, cannot tell king from
a knave."
There is both a Spanish and French proverb
which says; :" melon and a woman are hard
to choose" Probably melon eholic may be the
sequel to a mistake in either case.
Don't locate yourself on the back of a wild
horse unless you want to be dis-located.
"only marry me, my dear lady, and you will
have seen the eud of trouble" "Yes, sir, but
which end ?"
"why is an invalid cured by sea.bAthiDg like
a confined criminal! Because he is sea-oured
(secured).
"Guard," asked a railroad passenger, "are
you running on time to.day?" NO, sir; We
are running for cash.
A medical journal says that single women
have the headache more than married ones,-
IhAt may be hint dnnL marrind man hnrn .hn