The Buchanan County guardian. (Independence, Buchanan County, Iowa) 1858-1864, 1861-10-01

ny to all OF which questions the Prints
perlitely replide, giving me to understan
that the Emperor was behavin well.
g AK these questions, my royal duke
and most noble highness and imperials,
becaws I'm ANXIOUS to know how be
stands as man. | know he's smart
He is cunnin, he is long heded, lie is
deep-he is CRATE. But onless he is good
he'll come down with a crash one of these
days and the Bonyparts will be Bustid
up agin. Bet yer life -
"Air you preacher, sir?" he inquir-
ed, slitely sarkasticul.
"No sir. But | bleeve in morality.
| likewise bleeve in Meetin Houses
Show me place where there isn't any
Meetin Houses and where preachers is
never seen, and I'll show you place
where old hats air stuffed into broken
winders, where the children air dirty
and ragged, where gates hav no hinges,
where the wimin air slpshod, and where
maps of the devils "wild land" air
painted upon mems shirt-bosuma with
tobacco juice That's what I'll show
you. Let us consider what the preach
crs do for us before we aboose 'em''
He sed he didn't mean to aboos the
clergy. Not at all. and lie was happy to
see that was interested in the Bonypart
family.
"It's CRATE family" sed l. But,
they scooped the old man in"
How, sir 2"
Napoleon the Grand. The British
ers scooped him at Waterloo. He want
ed to be too much. and he did it They
scooped him in at Waterloo, and he sub
sekenty died at St. Heleny! There's
where the greatest military man this
world ever produced pegged out. ltwas
rather hard to consine such a man as him
to St. Heleny, to spend his larst days in
catchin mackeril, and walkin up and
down the dreary beach in military
cloak drawn titely round him, see picter
books, but SO it was. He'd Of the Ar
my ! Them was his last words. So he
had bin. He was CRATE Don't wish
we had pair Of his old boots to COM
mand sum Of our Brigades !"
This pleased Jerome and he took me
warmly by the hand.
Alexander the Crate was punkins, l
continnerd, but Napoleon WAS punkinser .
Alic wept becaws there was no more
worlds TO scoop, and then took to drink
in. He drownded his sorrers in the
tlowin bole, and the flown bole was too
much for him. 1t ginrallv is. He un-
dertook 10 civ snake exhibition in his
boots, but it killed him. That was bad
Joke for Allie"
Since YOU air so solicitous about
France, and the Emperor, may ask you
how your own country is Citing along o.
sed Jerome, in pleasant voice.
It's mixed" sed But | think
we shall cum out all right"
Columbus. when he diskivered this
magnificent continent, could have had no
idee Of the grandeur il would one day as.
Soom," sed the Prints.
1T cost Columbus twenty-thousand
dollars to iii out his explorin expedition, ;"
sed |. " If he had been sensible man
he'd hav put The money in ho~s railroad
or gas company, and left this masnii
cent continent to the intelligent savages,
who when they got hold OF good thing
knew enutI 10 keep il, and who wouldn't
hay seeded, nor rebelled, nor knockt
Liberty in the he'd with a slung shot.
Columbus wasn't much oi a felar, after
all. 1t would have been money IN his
pocket if he had staid at home. CHS
meant we'll, but he put his foot in it when
he sailed for America
We talked some more about matters
and things, and at larst riz to go. Il
will now say good bye TO you, noble sir,
aud good luck to you. Likewise the
same to Clotildy. Also to the gorgeous
persons which compose your SCOT. Ii the
Emperor's boy don't like livin at the
rooleries, when he gets older, and would
like 10 imbark in the show biziness, let
him come with me, and III make n man
Of him You find US somewhat mixed,
as before obsarved but cum agin next
year and you'll find us clearer nor ever.
The American Eagle has lived too sump-
tuously OF late-hs stummic becum foul,
and he's now lakin site emetic. That's
all. We'r gettin ready TO strike big
blow and sure one When we do strike
the fur will fly and secession will be in
the hands OF the undertaken sheeed for
SO deep a grave that nothin short of Ga.
hrieI's trophnna will ara. xvatan =,