Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1861-03-14

snoozin half n hour when | was woke up by !
nois at the door. ! sot up in bed, leanin on my |
ELDERS and rubin my eyes, and | saw the fol- !
lerin pcter: The Elder stood in the doorway |
with taller candle in his hand. lie hadn't |
no wearin appeerel on except his night close |
which futtered in the breeze like Fourth of
July Flag. He said, you're a man of sin :"
then groaned and went away
went to sleep again, and drempt Of runnin
OFF with the pretty little Shakeressps, mounted
on my Californy Bar thawt the Bar insisted
on steerin strate for my dooryard in Baldinsyie
and that Betsy JANE cum out and give us a
warm recepshun with painful of Bilin water.
was woke up early by the Elder lie sed re.
frcshments was ready for me down stairs Then
sayin | was man of sin, he went groann away
As was goin threw the entry to the room
where the vittles was, cum across the Elder
and the old female I'd met the night before,
and what DIV spose they was up to? IIuggin
and kissin like young lovers in their gushingist
state SEE I, tiny Shaker friends, ! reckon
you'd better suspend the rules, and git mar
ried"
"You must excoos Brother URIAH, sed the
female; he's subieck to fits and hain't got no
command over hissclf when he's into 'em.
"Sartinly,' SEE /, I've bin took that way my
self frequent
you're a man of sin ~ sed the Elder.
AFTER breakfast my little Shaker trends cum
in agin to clear away the dishes.
my pretty dears," SEE l, "shall we gay
agin Pr
may" they sed, and nayd.
The Shakers axed me to go to their meetin.
as they was to hay sarvices that mornin, so |
put on clean billed rag and went. The meetin
house was as neat as pin. The floor was white
as chawk and smooth as glass. The Shakers
was all on hand, in clean weskits and meal bags,
ranged on the floor like milingtery companies,
the mails on one side of the room and the ie-
males on totber They commenst clappin their
hands and singin and dancin. They danced
kinder slow at tust, but as they got waamed up
they shaved it down very brisk, | tell you. FL
der URIAu in partcler, exhibited right smart
chance of spryness in his legs, considerin his
time of life and as he cum a bubble shuttle
near where | sot, ] rewarded him with APP
provin smile and said Good boy Go it, my
gay any festiv cuss"
; "Youre man of sin !" he sed, continnerin
his shuttle.
The Sperret. as they called it, then moved q
r short fat Shaker to say a few remarks He
sed they was Shakers and all was ckal. They
was the purest and sleckest people on the yearth
Other people was sinful as they could be, but
Shakers was all right. Shakers was all goir
kerslap to the Promist Land, and nobody want
goin to stand at the gate to bar EN- out, if they
did they'd git run over.
The Shakers then danced and sung agin, ant
arter they was threw, one Of 'em axed me what
thawt Of it.
SEE |, "What duz it siggerfy?"
"What? ?" seq he.
! "Why this iumpin up and singing? Thi
i, long weskit bizness, and this anty-matrimonl
idee9 My trends, you air neat and tidy. You
lads is flown with milk and honey. You
hrpCms is fine. and Vour annie il honest
When man buys key of apple sass Of yot
he don't find CRATE many shavins under few
LAYERS of saSs-a little Game I'm sorry to sa,
sum of my New Englan ancestors used to prac
: tiss. Your garding seeds is fine, and if shoult
SOW EN- on the rock of Gbralter probably
should raise good mess Of garding sass. YOU
air honest in your dealins. You are quiet ant
don't distarb nobody. For all this | givs YOU
credit. But your religion is small pertaters,
D must say. You NOPE away your lives here il
single retchidnesS, and as you air all by your
selves nothing ever contcks with your pecoole
idees, except when Human Mater busts GU
among YOU, as / understan she sometimes dc
RI give URIAH sly wink here, which made tn
, old Teller squirm like speared Eel. 70
y wear long weskits and long faces, and lead
gloomy life indeed No children's prattle
ever hearn around your harhstuns-you al
v in a dreary fog all the time, and you treat tn
y Holly sunshine OF lie as tho IL was thlcf, ur
! vim it from your doors by them weskits, an
7" meal bags, and pecooer noshuus of yourn. Tn
gals among you, sum OF which air sic
pieces of caiker as ever sot eyes on, air syi
j 10 place their heads against wcshits which kivt
honest, manly harris, while You old heads foe
, Yourselves with the idee that they air fulfill
n their mishun here, and air contcned Hel
r. you air. all pened up by yourselves, talkn abol
II The sins of world YOU don't know nothing o
rs Meanwhile said world containers to resoly
H. round on her own eXetrce onct in every 9
1t hours, subleck to the Constiushun of the Tn
IL, ted States and is very pleasant place of res
"' dence. It's unnatural, unreasonable and ii
d mai life you're leadn here So it strikes m
II; My Shaker friends, | now bid you WELDON
adoo. You hav treated me eXceedin WE'LL
% Thank you kindly, one and ALL
- "a base exhibitor of depraved monkeys al
onprincipled wax works." sed URIAH.
"lIelo, URIAH," seq l, I'D most forgot yo
Wall. look out for them fits of yourn, and dor
catch cold and die in the -four OF your you
~ and beauty"
II, And resoomed my jerney