The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1861-03-07
The Elaborate Sermon.
BY E. PORTER DYE.

To do Theology ''up brown"
So smart man was he.
A text he chose-a sermon wrote
About the "fatted calf"
lie toiled away the whole week long
To reclify what'er was wrong,
And make it elegant and strong;
But twas too long by half.
He cut it down-he wrote 1t DER,
Retouching every point
Till he was pleased, it read so well,
And pride began his breast to swell,
To think how his brave speech would tell
So smooth in limb and joint
The Sabbath came. To-day, thought he,
Nv people must respect
M Talents more than e'er before;
And though they may not cry, Encore,
Will ask to have me preach it DER,
Because off effect.
So, marching to the sacred desk,
He uttered forth "his views
Detained about the calf so fat
But finished, feeling rather "fat,"
For half his congregation sat
And slumbered in their pews.
Returning home, detected, sad,
He turned aside TO pray;
His soul was humbled to the dust
He prayed, and felt that pray he must,
And exercise a firmer trust,
Or else must "go away"
His strength was spent-hsd done his best:
Yet all had been IN vain;
While half his struggling heart within
Reproached him that he did not win
A single soul from guilt and sin;
He ne'er would preach again.
When Monday came. he prayed again,
Then went from door 10 door;
He saw the sick, the lame, the blind,
And words of blessing left behind,
Till half he thought to change his mind,
And preach one Sabbath more.
But wbatl and how! He wept and prayed,
Then sat down and sore perplexed;
For ah SO busy all the week,
On what theme could he hope to speak!
He took his Testament in Greek,
And ransacked for text
Before the Book he kEelt; and prayed
And prayed for guidance from on high.
Poor man! what SORROWS flied his breast!
He felt he needed sleep and rest,
Yet he mast try to do his best,
ASgood text met his eye.
A sermon on it socn he planned,
Aud sketched its meaning plain;
lie could not elegantly write,
Twas Saturday and nearly night,
And he was in woeful plight.
He knelt and prayed again.
The Sabbath came-a lovely morn
The pastor prayed again;
Then humbly forth in fear he went,
With spirit meek and penitent,
To where last Sabbath he had spent
His choicest strength in vain.
He rose ard read the opening hymn
Drew nigh to God in prayer:
But Judge of his extreme surprise,
When, closing, he observed all eyes
Sufused with tears, and heard deep sIghs'
As if the Lord were there.
lie rose to preach, though sore oppressed
And mortified was he
For o! his sermsn was so slim,
The lightft gave so very dim,
Twas strange all eyes were fixed on him!
What could they wish to see!
His words-they seemed to fail with power
Though simple words were they:
SO simple he could hardly bear
To utter them; but after prayer,
The people whispered everywhere,
How well be preached that day.
The humbled pastor homeward went,
Ashamed to show his face,
To think so smart man as be
Should lower himself full one degree,
by preaching what he deemed to be
SO very commonplace.
That week, abashed before the throne,
He mourned, he wept. be prayed;
Bat ere another Sabbath came,
The pastor, in this prayerfm frame,
Discerned glowing kindling fame,
With sovereign grace displayed.