davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1861-03-08

WOULDN'T UNscREw ANY MORE Cap
tain Evans was an old navy veteran of six
tv-seyen. He had lost an arm and an eye,
years and years before, at Navarno; which
last action settled bis understanding, both
legs being carried off by chain-shot. Cork
legs were coming into fashion. Captain E
had pair of the first quality made for him;
he had false arm and hand; into the lat
ter he could screw fork or hook, as &C.
casion required, and being gloved. the de-
ficicncy was not easily perceived. As in
creasing years rendered him in6rm, his va
let took advantage of him, SO that he wrote
to his brother-a Somersetshire squire-to
send him up some tenants son as body SER
want. ''No matter how stupid, if but hon.
est and faithful" he wrote.
His brother was absent, and sent to his
steward TO select a lad. This the steward
did, but merely mentioned that Captain E.
was infrm, not apprising the bumkin of his
new masters deficiencies. and sent him to
London at once, where the captain lived.
At ten at night he arrived, and was i'm
mediately shown to Captain Evans sitting
room.
What is your name z
"My name be John, zur''
"Wcll, John, my rascally valet is absent
again without leave; help me to bed, as it
is late, and then you can 60 down to your
supper"
Adjourning to the bedroom, the old gen.
tleman said:
"John. unscrew my leg"
"Zur," said John.
"Unscrew my leg this way, see."
John did so tremblingly.
John, unscrew my other leg"
EUR" said John.
"Unscrew the other leg, sir"
John did so, now in state of bewilder-
ment.
John, unscrew this arm"
Trembling still more, to the captain
great amusement, he obeyed.
John, put this eye on the table,
John took it as if it would have bitten
"Now, John-no, I won't take the 9th.
er one outfit me into bed.''
This done, the waggish captain continu.
ed:
"John, beat up the pillow, lis not com
Portable"
It was done.
"Beat it up again, sir; it is quite hard.
Again John shook up the pillow.
.sfbat won't do; John, I can't get my
head comfortable. On it, John, unscrea
my head"
.No, by thunder, I'll unscrew no more;
and John fed from the room to the kitch
en-, swearing his master was the devil, ia
king himself to pieces like clock.
A loafer, while stopping at tavern VI
country, used to lounge about the bar ant
drink other peoples liquor. Not glas
could be left alone for moment, but hs
would slip up and drink its contents. On
day stage driver came in, and called for
stiff horn of brandy toddy Jehu imme-
diately played possum by leaving his bran
DIV while he stepped to the door The bal
took. On returning, he saw his glass emp
ty, and exclaimed, with all the diabolica
horror he could effect:
.'Brardy and opium enough to kill forty
men! Who drunk that pizen p
II" stammcred the loafer, ready to yielt
up the ghost with alright.
..You re dead man." said the driver.
"What shall do?'' beseeched the other
who thought himself gone sucker.
"Down with a pint Of lamp oil, or your
dead man in three minutes" answere,
the wicked driver. And down went tn
lamn oil, and up came the brandy and OPT
mn. together with his breakfast, The jok
was told and he has never drunk other pee
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1861-03-08
NEW GOODS :

OPPOSITE THE VIRGINIA HOTEL.
DIPER & FUNKHOUSER are now receiving
the following kinds Of goods, viz:
A Laurel ID. Bro. Cotton
A and rs Osnaburgs;
rs Heavy Twill for servants
l0-4 Bleached Sheetng
Penitentiary Plaid Cotton
New York Mill Bleached Cotton;
White Flannels
Hoop Skirts, de-, &.
We are also closing out Winter Dress Goods al
remarkably .ow prices.
Stanton, Feb. ~, 1861.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1861-03-08
HOTEL AND FEED STABLES.

THE undersigned have leased, for term Of
i years, the AMERICAN HOTEL STABLES,
which. in connection with former ~
Stabng enable us to accommod ateS1EtN wssms@
at least 200 HORSES We hope G ssN1uNaAWA
to give entire satisfaction to the for Ct ~
mer patrons of the American Hotel sSZ.~zSk.
as well as to all others who may give us call, as
surfing all attentive Hosters and plenty of Proven
der. We will take Horses by the month or wear,
OF liberal terms: We also keep on hand Horses,
Hacks, Stages, Buggies, &C., for hire.
~s~ Office at the American Hotel Stable Gate,
Staunton, Va.
~ We are also provided with excellent ac-
eommodations for drovers.
THOs. J: BURKE d CO.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1861-03-08
JOEL ETTINGER

JOEL ETTINGER
TTAVING located in Staunton is prepared to
IL take few more pupils for instruction on
Piano and Guitar. Orders left with J.. W. Abby.
Staunton, Nov. 2, lS60-tt.
9 ADDLERY.-W have just purchased c"m-
- plete supply of Saddlery and Coach Trimmings
to which invite the sention of those in need Of
such goods. WOODS l. GILKESON.
Stauaten, Jan. rs, 1861. @
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1861-03-08
MISCELLANEOUS. 8
4 10. FARMERS!
WESlERr VIRGINIA ENTERPRISE.
Agricultural IMPLEMENTS,

AA6A ~ uAUul oil LII R1O11AOAAUHo S
MANUFACTURED IN STA UNION.
ME subscriber takes pleasure in saying to the
- Farmers OF Augusta and adjoining counties,
AGRICULTURAL IMPLEMENTS of almost eve
ry description, such as Pitts MACHlN = PLOWS,
OF different kinds, Horse Rakes, Corn Shelters, OF
various kinds, Cutting Boxes, Harrow, Corn
Planters. Also Wagons, Horse Carts, Wheelbar-
rows, &c.
Having in his. employ Mr., James Moore, one OF
the best Machinists md Pattern makers in the
second to none in Western Virginia-htting u?
Mill Irons, Circular Saws, de-, and also cutting
Mill Screws. Cider Mill Screws and Post and Pump
Augurs. Blacksmithing Of every kind done at the
shortest notice.
Particular attention will be given to repairing
ghreshing Machines, Drills, &c.
lie would ask particular attention to his I kh-
patented Aug 1860. Its simplicity and cheapness
might be sufficient recommendation, but its great
merit is what it's claim to popular favor IS essed
upon. You can plant any distance from two to
three feet. II has belt to slip and miss drop
ping but deposites the grain at the exact distance
IL is set to drop. You can see the deposits and
know the width, until the Hopper is empticd o:
Corn. You can put it in and out OF gear wl'hout
stopping. This machiue is warranted to give sat
sfaetion. Those wanting them viii do well to or,
der early. Price SIS at the shop. state ana
County Rights for sale. The best of reference can
be given of its merits
Having gone to the trouble and expense OF lifting
up in Staunton one of the LARGEST MA1h N
SHOPS IN THE VALLEY, aud an establishment
for the manufacture of all kinds OF FARMING ana
Agricultural Implements, he trusts County and
State pride will not fail to give him liberal en-
JOSEPH F. TANNEHILL.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1861-03-08


WE w. SEEDE STORE.
7 TAKE this opportunity of informing the citi-
l. zens of this county that have E9
opened al
Boot and Shoe store sas-H 15
in Stanton, on Main ST.. near the 49,
Union Hall, between Woods & Gilkeson's Store
and Bickles Corner, where an excellent assortment
of all kinds of
Boots and Shoes
will be kept. AS get my stock directly from the
manufacturers | am enabled to sell them cheap, for
cash, and am determined to sell them as low as
possibly can. have but price, and that so low
as to astonish most people. | will keep on hand
all kinds of
LADIES' SHOES AND SLIPPERS, GENTLE
MEMS BOOTS AN D SHOES, AND
BOOTS AND SHOES
FOR SER WANTS.
Call and examine my stock and prices Perfect
satisfaction is guaranteed
LYMAN r. BLAKE.
Ctauntoo Aur 2 TSe0-tf
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1861-03-08
FRESH OYSTERS.

from the best House in Richmond and is prepar-
ed to furnish them to families delivered at their
homes, in any quantity. at the shortest notice.
SUpPEiS, consisting of Oysters served up in
any and every style, Birds, Venison, Ham and
Eggs, Beef Steaks, Pork steaks, Mutton Chops,
Veal Outlets, and every thing else that either this
Or the Richmond market affords, can be had on
application. MEALS at any hour prepared.
Thankful to the public for the liberal patronage
they have heretofore extended him, he respectfully
solcits continuance thereof, assuring them that
he will 40 his utmost to merit it.
November Is, lS60.-tf.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1861-03-08

Lively 81 Sale stable.
EN7E have leased for term of years the commo-
wv dious and convenient Stables attached to the
Virupia INTO in where w intend to
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1861-03-08

PLANTATION BOOk.-P lantaton and
4 Farm Instruction, Regulation, Record, lnven-
tory and Account Book for the use of Managers OF
Estates. and for the better ordering and manage
ment of plantation and farm business in many par
ticnlars BY q Southern Planter. "Order is
Heavens first law"
New and improved edition. cap folio, half calf
price 81 so. Also large edition, for
COTTON PLANTATIONS,
price 81 Either sent by mail, postpaid to all who
remit the price in money stamps
The author of this book is one Of the most sue
cesstul farmers in the Southern States and the
systematic of it has added tens Of thousands OF
dollars to his estate.
''We consider it as indispensable to the farmer,
the ledger to the merchant."-N. c. Planter.
''This book supplies real want in every planta-
ton. - Scatbcrn Planter.
s'This is most admirable work, and one which
every farmer should possess. american Farmer.
For sale by booksellers generally.
Published and for sale by
J.W. RANDOLPH,
Richmond, Va
Ia, * 1871
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1861-03-08
MISCELLANEOUS.
A NEW CHEAP AND DURABLE
3ooFING
T>HE undersigned has obtained tie agency for
JOHNS & CROSLEY'S improved
Gutla Percha and India Rubber

shioh consists of thick body roofing cloth, one
yard wide. saturated in solution OF GMto Percha
end India Rubber comlinrd which not only pre-
serves the cloth but renders it highly elastic so
.hat tie shrinking of new boards will not injure
it. This is nailed to the boarded roof and then
coated with a coat of the above solution, on which
we fine building sand. thus giving it in two or
three DAYS surface of stone, and at the same time
an elastic body, which is not affected by the ex-
tremes of heat cold.
This very excellent Roofing material has been
thoroughly tested in. the cities of Boston, New
York, Philadelphia, Baltimore, Richmond, and
all the prominent cities Of the Union, with unusual
success by Architects, Builders and others many
years Of experience having demonstrated the fact
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1861-03-08
Cheapest and Best RGof noV in use,

The COST NOT EXCEEDING 615 Crs. PER SQUARE
Foor, being less than sand gravel roof, cheaper
than the commonest kind of Shingles, about one
half the price Of Tin in fact, it combines all the re-
quisites OF the age, viz Cheapness, durability, elias
ITCHY and iire-proof 1t is adapted to all kinds of
roofs. whether steep or fiat, or subject to being
walked upon 1t is easily applied to old shingIs
roots, without the necessity of removing the old
shingles, which isa great desideratum to persons
who 90 not wish their furniture and ceilings spoil
ed while repairs are being made.
Gutta Percha Roofing Cement,
as above stated. is combined solution of GUTTA
PEkCHA AND INDIA RUBBER, made into a
consistency CT six coats Of house paint. 1t is ad-
mlrably adapted to the coating of old or new tin
roots, as preventive against rust or corroson as
it adheres so firmly to all parts, that leaky tin
or other metal roofs readily repaired, as one
coat OF this cement will render proof anst rust
and leak for many years. All new tin roofs ought
to have coat on the principle ''an ounce of pre-
n't crack peel off in cold weather, nor run in
warm weather, nor will not wash off. will put
on one coat of this cement for two cents per square
foot. and insure satisfaction
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1861-03-08
May IoU0.-vT
Southern Hat Manslfaetory go
ESTABLISHED 1886. ksazss

T1HE subscriber respectfully invites The attention
J. of the merchants of Virginia and North Caro-
lima to this extensive stock of his own ard foreign
MANUFACTURED HATS. Purchasers will find
it to their interest to ca Il at his house previous to
going further North, as he is leaving nothing TN
done, sparng no expense pains, to keep the
Southern trace at the South. Goods sold in this
house viii be warranted to compare favorably in
quality and prices with goods coming from any
other market There will be found all the qualities
of WOOL and FUR HATS, from the lowest price
negro hat to the finest quality for gentlemen. Also
all grades and styles, LADIES' RIDING HATS
and LADIES' FURS, of all the various qualities.
Purchasers will do we'll to call and examine.
JOHN DOOLEY,
Richmond, Va.
September IA, 1860.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1861-03-08
Gutta Percha Roofing Cement,
SLATE ROOFING

- ~ .
The undersigned has been engaged in SLA IL
hOOf!HG for the last twenty-five years, during
which time have worked upon some of the be
and most Public Buildings in this part of the coun-
try, and from the extended practice have had
in that branch of my business, feel confident in
giving satisfaction to all persons who may favor
me with call. NV motto is, CENTRE sArIsRAc-
TON OR NO PAY
Slate Pavement.
have also on hand large quantity of SLATE
PAVEMENT, either fancy plain, sawed into
squares OF one foot each, either paned or in the
rough, one inch in thickness, suitable for
Halls. Easements, Porches or Fancy
Pavcments,
oiany kind as the coors are variegated into green,
blue and purple. thus adding much to the beauty
ard general appearance of the flooring so laid.
Also, large SLATE SLABS, either paned or in
the rough, saved into oblong squares from two to
four feet wide and two to three inches in thick
ness very strong and durable article for Street
Slate Pavements, now so common in all large Cit
les, and at this time being laid in all the principal
streets of Charlottesville. The Roofing 81 ate
Slate Pavement, Slate Nantes, Table, Wash
stand and Bureau Tops, are obtained from the
Virginia Slate Company's Quarry about miles
IRON Charlottesville.
An opportunity is afforded to this commu-
nifty to have cheap and durable roof in either
GDTTA PERCHA OF SLATE; SLATE PAVE
MENT, SLATE MANTLES, &c. Any person in
want ofsuch can see me at my home in Charlottes
vile, or address me through said Post Office
RICHARD KEAVY,
the only appointed agent for the sale of
Johns l. Crosey's Gutta Percha Cement
Roofing in this and the adjoining counties
Stanton, Jan. IL, lS6l.-6m
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1861-03-08
A N ew Article.

A N ew Article.
4 NEW patent self emptying Well Bucket with
for exhibition and sale. All who have examined
this article have pronounced it the most complete
they have ever seen. 1t must be seen to be appre-
ciated. In many cases it is much better than any
othe, means of drawing water. All interested
are invited to call and examine.
GEO. E. PRICE.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1861-03-08

NJ Office TO MERCHANTS AND FAKMEK 5
~ Under no circumstances will goods be deliver
ed from the depot Of the Va. C. r. r. at Stanton
without written order from the owner.
Staunton, l6-tf. W. A. BURKE, Ag'
kO Nj have just received large lot of Iron
\ comprising all KINDS of Round and Square
Rods, Oval and alt Round, Band, Fire, Horse
Shoe and Nail Rod Iron, Steel Of all kinds, &c. :.
&c. GEO. .. PRItE
Staunton. Feb. Is, 1851,
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1861-03-08
Stanton, Feb. Is, 1861.
h ARBERING.

nANIEL WHISMAN has opened BARBER
~ SHOP one doc South of Roane Ably 5
Clothing Store, under Virginia Hotel, where he is
prepared to trim Hair in the most fashionSle style
and to give clean, nice. Shave to all who may
justes him in promising to please all who may ia
vor him with their patronage.
January 4. 1861.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1861-03-08
CORN SHELTERS.

e PENNOCK'S CELEBRATED CORN SHELL
~ LERS on hand, which will be sold at reduc-
ed price to close the lot. This Shelter is undoubt-
edly the best in USE and may be IN use in all
parts Of the county. Those in want should now
supply themselves. GEO. E. PRICE.
Stanton, Feb %, 1861.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1861-03-08

Negro Clothing.
WE have-now on hand, ready made ND to suit
~ any sizes, negro men or boys, excellent
Clothing, OF all descriptions manufactured out of
STANTON FACTORY CLOTH The article is
durable ard cheap.
CRAWFORD d COCHRAN.
Staunton, Nov. 2, lS6O-tf
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1861-03-08
NOTICE.

NOTICE.
| TIERSONS wishing to buy first rate article of
! L FLOUR FOR FAMILY USE, can be supplied
by calling at the NET FREIGHT DEPOT OPP
posite the Store of K. j. Hope, where supply of
the best brands may be found at all times. Terms
! Cash. W. A. BURKE
stanton, Feb. Is, lse1.-sm-spec copy.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1861-03-08

HERE AGAIN.-AnotheL supply of GOLD
IL LEAF LIGHT PRESSED TOBACCO
araiyed in prime order and for sale by
r. }. GLENDY,
Stanton, July l, 80 per G. T. Cochran
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1861-03-08

GERMAN MATCHES-a lot of the Celebrated
" Vienna Match, for sale by
ScauntoD, March l, 81. P. 81. TROUT.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1861-03-08
NOTICE,

nUR Accounts all drawn off to the 1st Jan
~ uary, 1861. Those knowing themselves in
debted to us either by bond, note or account will
please come ward and make payment without
delay. TAYLOR & HOGE:
Staunton, Feb. s. 1esl.-Spec copy.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1861-03-08
Receiving from Boston this day,

On SOFAS. from cheapest to best quality; also
~ 80 DOZEN CANE SEAT CHAIRS, and a
lot of ROCKING CHAIRS, cheap for Cash.
A. D. CHANDLER.
Staunten, July 6, 1860.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1861-03-08

The un 1ersigned will continue the business of the
late concern. and solicts the continuation of the
patronage heretofore bestowed on the same.
z. N. POWELL.
Stanton Oct IL, l86G.-tf.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1861-03-08

VIRGINIA COAL OIL for sale BY
4 s.aa4top, nov. 70, 1850. z A'fhes1'
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1861-03-08
ALFRIENDS'
r E S T A i r A n T ,

He respectfully asks share of public putronag
promising that every effort will he made to Civ
satisfaction, as well as the worth of the money.
November lS lS60.-tf
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1861-03-08
N Oticy Notice ~

"a " lIIlam Street, New or
Feb. q, lS61-ly,
Semi-weekly standard. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1853-18??, 1861-03-30

Mr.. PICKwIcK AT MoNTGoMERY.--The Louisiana
Convention have donated to the Montgomery Con-
gress the S539,0OO not long since stolen from the
United States BY sundry then Louisiana federal
officers, and turned it to the former body The
debate occurring in the Montgomery Congress on
the presentation Of the Louisiana ordinance giving
up the money to the central oligarchy is one of the
richest specimens OF Pckwckiansm we ever read
especially the portion of it spoken by Mr.. Withers
of South Carolina, in compliment of Louisiana's
dsinterestedness in generously declining to ap-
propriate to her uses the stolen treasure Such
sefsacrifce and patriotic generosity, according to
Mr.. Withers, was hardly ever before heard of,
though the money tods stolen.
They remarkable institution-the oligarchy.
Nash Star
Semi-weekly standard. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1853-18??, 1861-03-30

How THE New CONFEDERACY Is CONSIDERED AT
HoME.-We copy the following extract from the
Augusta (Geo.) Chronicle, from which it will be
inferred that the people of the confederacy are
not unanimous as to the means used to accomplish
their independence Of the North. The article re-
ferred to reads
"Their ignoring of the people in their proceed
ings hitherto might have been excused from the ne
cessity of the times their stretch of power in elect
ing themselves members of Congress, and without
consulting the choice of the people; selecting the
chief executive officers imposing heavy taxes, and
in fine putting into operation the whole machinery
of quasi republic have been submitted to patiently,
because it thought there was no time to appeal
to the but the hroes that attended the birth
of the infant nation having passed, We are likely to
have peace and season for calm reflection and there
is no longer any reason why the people should not
be recognized as portion of the State.
We advocate the submission Of the constitution
to the people, convention chosen by them for
its consideration, measure OF expedicncy. 1t is
notorious that much dissatisfaction exists among the
people of some portions of the confederacy and we
think it our DUTY as it should be the duty Of every
good citizen, to take that course which will tend to
allay discomfort and prevent civil connections. Give
the malcontentS opportunity to decide upon the
government they are to live under, and they will
feel themselves bound by their own action. Refuse
that opportunity and it will be hard to persuade
them that their consent could have been lawfully
implied. 1t would seem to be expedient too, that
our new government should be recognized by its
people, by popular ratification Of its consti-
tuition before seek recognition from other nations
to whom and for which purpose sundry solemn
embassies have been sent"
Semi-weekly standard. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1853-18??, 1861-03-30

STAND FIRN.-Aye, let the Union men of North
Carolina stand firm. The secessonists are increas-
ing their noise and agitation as their numbers
decrease. They are constantly praying for some
thing to turn up, and constantly laboring to turn
up something, by which they can arouse the pas
sons Of the people. We are just beginning to find
out that there is vast deal of wisdom in Holden's
motto, " Udtch and Wait"
Every little circumstance at all doubtful is eagerly
seized upon and magnified a hundred fold, and
bowed with lightning speed all over the State
war, war Lincoln is going to make war on the
South-s going to free the niggers-wants to put
them on an equality with Southern white folks, and
any amount of such stuff
If the Union men of North Carolina want to do
all they can to preserve the Nationality of this
great country to to themselves and posterity
of the blessings of stable and free Government
let them stand firm, and pay no heed to the false
assertions and groundless sensation cries with which
the very air is loaded by the secessionists-Salis-
bury Waterman.
Semi-weekly standard. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1853-18??, 1861-03-30

AID VALoREM Duty ON NEGRoEs.-In the Mont
gomery Congress, on the 18th instant Mr. Barry, a
member from Mississippi, introduced resolution
providing for the imposition of ian ad cdlorem duty
on all negro slaves imported into the Confederacy
from the saveholding States of the United States "
and supported the proposition in elaborate speech
He explained it as follows:
at is not intended that Congress, by such duties
should exercise any coercion towards those States to
induce them to join this .Confederacy, but the mea-
sure, as before said is simply intended by me as
one of revenue. trade that involves perhaps fif.
ty millions OF dollars per year should contribute its
proportion to the revenues of our government
Whilst New England manufactures and Pennsylya.
mia iron taxed, those States far as nationality
is concerned placed on the same footing as 9TH
er foreign nations there is reason why the trade
from the border States should be exempt"
No action was taken