The constitutional union., 1861-03-29
DIES ARC. ARKANSAS. FRIDA
POETICAL,.

A CALIFORNIA PoEM.-HIAwATHA.--T the a( rers of Hiawatha and the lovers of genuin mor, the following parody from the April nun r of the Knickerbocker, will be acceptable written by John Phoenix, of California, an th large class of readers will be fully as popr ? as the original poem. Those who cannot aI eciate the fun, it is to be hoped, will be cor lated by the excellent and striking moral: he Song of s.Nothin' Shorten
 BY II. ". TALLEBOY. At the mission of Dolores
 Near the town of San Francisco, Dwelt an ancient Digger Indian Who supported his existence, Doing chores and running errands, (When he got more kicks than coppers.) He was old, and gaunt and ghostly, And they called him Step-and- -fetch-it,' Old and grim and ghostly was he, Yet he had lovely daughter, Sweet and budding though not blushing, For her skin was kinder tawney, So she really couldn't do it. But she was a gushing creature, And her springing steps so fawn-like Knocked the hind sights off the daughter Of the usurers consequential, Who in buggies ride, important, Battling past the lonely toll-gate. Yes, sweet and fairy creature Was old Step-and- daughter, And her name was 'Tipsydoosen,' Or the young grasshopper eater Should you ask me whence this story, Whence this legend and tradition l should answer, That's my business; And were to go and tell you, You would know as much as 1 do.' Should you ask who heard this story, This queer story, wild and wayward? l should answer, should tell you, All the California people, Pipes of Pipesville. King of William, Jones and Cohen, Kean Buchanan, And Miss Heron, sweet as sugar; And the Chinese, eating birds nests, Well they know old |" Step and -fetch-it.' Near grocery at the Mission, Stcp-and- -fetch-it and his daughter, In the sun were once reclining, Near them lay whisky bottle, Mighty little was there in it, For the old man S thirst consuming, Caused that fluid to evaporate. In his hand old Step and -fetch-it'
  And as fish, bones, all he bolted, Wagged from side to side his yisage And with moans, strange, wild, portentous, Sung the song of Nothin Shortcr, Accompanied by Tipsydoosen, In four sharps, upon the Jews harp.
 Twang a diddle twang diddle,
 Twang a diddle, twang q diddle,
 Twang, twang, twang, tum! 'Nothin' Shorter was a Digger; So am 1. and 'nothin shorter; (Thus he sang old Stcp-and- -fetch-it,) And he lived upon the mountains, Dug his roots and pulled his acorns, And the rich grasshoppers roasted. Happy was lie, bold and fearless, Had no trouble to mgicst him, Had no 1.as upon his blanket, For ill fact he hadn't got one. But one morning gaztng eartAward,' He beheld a pond of water Which he forthwith fell in love with, And the pond reciprocated, And they loved each other fondly, Happy long they were together,
 Twang diddIc, twang dludle,
 Twang twang twang. Yes, the pond loved Not4in' Shorter, Every day he bathed his forehead, Gave him dring when he was thirsty, Would have washed him well all 6ver, Only that would take the dirt off, And the grease, and yellow ochre h which his very sad soul delighted. But they lived and loved together; Yes, they lived and loved together (An original expression) Till the sun, with fever scorching Caused the httle pond to dry up. Then was Nothin' Shorter angry. Loud he howlcd, and tore his breech- cloth, And with fury shrieked and danced As on the sun he poured his curses. And he cried, @ Scallcwagger (Which is the Indian name for sun, sir,) You have been and gone, and done it, It was you dried up my sweetheart Killed the beauteous Muddybottom, You confess it; you confess it. And he saw the sun wink at him, As if to say he felt glad of it. Then up started Nothin' Shorter, Out of willow-bark and rushes, With them rent a crag asundcr, Rent jutting crag asunder, And, picking up the shattered pieces, Hurled them at the sun in vengeance, And so fast the rocks kept flying mat the ar was nearly uarkcned And obscured, so Notbin Shorter Could not see but what he hit it, So he ran and kept on throwing. Stones and dirt, and other missiles, Till the sun which kept retreatng, Got alarmed at his persistence, And behind the western mountains Hid his recreant head in terror But the last rock Nothin' Shorter Threw, fell back on his cobeza, And produced a comminuted Fracture of the cerebcllum.
 Twang a diddle, twang a diddle,
 Twang, twang, tum. For some time poor Nothin' Shorter Lay upon the earth quite senseless, Till a small exploring party Under Colonel John C. Fremont, Picked him up and fixed his bruises, Put on Daley pain extractor, And some liquid opedeldoc. When relieved, though sorely shattered; He sat up, upon his launches, And to Fremont told his story. Gravely listened that young savan, Wrote 1t down upon his note book, Had old Preuss te make a drawing Representing Nothin Shorter Throwing boulders; then he gave him An old blanket and beef bone, And when he asked him for a quarter, Told him. to go to the Devil. But far away in Eastern cities Fremont told that tale of wonder; And certain famous poet Heard it all and saw the picture, Wrote it out and had it printed In one volume post octave, And 1 wish 1 had the money For this song of Nothin Shorter. Twang diddle, twang diddle, Twang, twang, twang.