, 1861-12-26

An Irishman left demand with a LAWYER, for
collection, with directions to have O letter sent
before the suit commenced
"What shall ! write about" asked the law.
yer.
To which Pat replied,-"why, your honor
will PLACE begin little moderate in the matter,
just call him devil Of a spalpeen and negligent
puppy, and so coming on sharper till ye reach
the bottom Of the chapter"
A Fox, who had never seen a Lion, when BY
chance he met him for the first time, was 10 ter
rificd that he almost died Of fright When he
met him the second time, he was still afraid, but
managed to disguise his fear. When he saw him
the third time, he was so much emboldened that
he went up to him and asked him how he did.
Familiarity breeds contempt.
The Pomegranate and the Apple had contest
on the score Of beauty. When words ran high,
and the strife waxed dangerous, 4 Bramble,
thrusting his head from q neighboring bush,
cried out, awe have DISPUTED long enough let
there he no more rivalry betwixt us"
The most insignificant are generally the most
presuming.
A Gull had pounced upon fish, and in en-.
deavoring to swallow il got chOked and lay upon
the deck for dead. A KITE who was passing by
and saw him, gave him no other comfort than
at serves you right; for what business have
the fowls Of the air to meddle with the fish Of
the sea-"
A man was suspected Of stealing horse, and
was taken up.
"what am taken for ?" he inquired of the
constable.
"Itake You for horse" was the reply; where
upon he kicked the other over and bolted.
The Moon once asked her Mother to make her
little cloak that would ct her WELL How"
replied she, "can make you a cloak to fit you,
who are now q new moon, and then full moon,
and then again neither one nor the otherS"
"Look here, Jem, there is a hole knocked out
Of this bottle you gave me-"
"Why," said Jem, here's the hole in It now.
II II was knocked out, how could it be there
now"
A Methodist brother had occasion 10 preach
discourse against the doctrine Of immersion, but
could not find text until, with great shrewd-
ness and good sense, he hit upon this -" Be
ware Of divers-and strange doctrines"
Barry Cornwall says, come, let me dive into
thine eyes" II his love had swimming eyes"
very good but at all events, our advice to the
young woman is, for divers reasons, don't let
him do it He might go over " cataract"
Taking them with one another, said the Rev.
Sidney Smith, believe my congregation to be
the most exemplary observers of the religious or
dinances for the poor keep all the iasts and the
rich all the ieasts.
Itisa great blunder, in the pursuit of happiness,
not to know when we have got it that is, not to
be content with q reasonable and possible measure
Of it.
DR.. johnson once said A man is in general
better leased when he has a good dinner upon his
table than when his wife talks Greek.
To make us happy, we require not much less
than everything; to make us miserable, not much
more than nothing will suffice.
There is one thing that the most successful man
seldom succeeds in, and that is in making others
forgive him his success.
hate to hear people talk behind ones back,
as the robber said when the constable called,
stop thiefI"
Good men are the stars and planets Of the
ages wherein they live, and illustrate the times.
Gratitude Is the music Of the heart, when its
chords are swept by the breeze Of kindness.
A woman has oilen committed herself by talk
ing; never by holding her tongue.
Il Is the perfection Of happiness, neither TO
wish for death nor TO fear IL
Health Is the greatest Of al bodily pleasures,
but the least thought Of
Past youths are now called young gentlemen
Of accelerated gait
Pnise % generous minds Is the germ and The
ailment 10 emulation
Awitty man can make q jest, but il needs q wise
nan 10 take Oue.