The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1861-03-21
WHAT NOT &?

Why is an indolent dog ike gradual ascent
Because ne is slow pup (slope up)
Lose not the glory of the sun by always seek
ing to count the spots on it.
Self-respect is the noblest garment we car
clothe ourselves in.
Never employ yourself TO discover the fault,
of others look to your own,
An indiscreet person is like an unsettled let
ter which everybody can reruse.
The three great conquerors of the world are
Fashion, Love, and Death.
In the game of life men most frequently play
the knsve and w onion the deuce.
The man who follows the sea thinks he viii
get up with it one of these days.
We think it is best fer the man who confne
himself to one drink to be yell supplied.
Look well to your daughters sparks falling
upon your house are often less dangerous thar
those coming into it,
The editor of the - talks about his fran,
! of mind. He may have the frame of one, bu
that's all-LoHisUitie Journal.
A real lady never gossips; she is too thought
full, too amiabe; toe modest too wise to gossip
Gossiping women are not womsnly ladies'
A." I can't undertake, wife, to crafty all you
whims it would be as much as my life il
worth" Oh sir, that is nothing" she replied
A man should be virtuous for his own sake
though nobody were to know it, as he would b,
clean for his own sake, though nobody were Il
see him.
Figures won't ie." ia an old and Lomely
expression, but few men can look upon a fash
ionable woman nowadays, and cay az much
He should be considered our best friend whc
is most ready to tell US of eur errors in friend
ly way.
An il-tempered man carries his own smoke
and makes not only his own eyes smart, bu
tn ose of other people.
Never be above your calling, nor be afraid t.
appear dressed in accordance with the bushes.
you are performing.
Sc olding and swearing never did anybody
good. 1t hurts the child it hurts the parents
it is evil, and only evil everywhere and always
That very horrid piece of musical compost
tion yclept Dixie's Land" has already netteC
its author the sum of $4,000.
The easiest and best way to expand the che,
10 w hafC ~ t5OON hcdIb ia IL shF6b bu0 CDSkC
| of Gymnastics.
An old bachelor is traveller upon life's raj
road who has entirely failed to make the prope
connections.
Spurgeon sometimes comes out with pooC
thing Brethren" SAID he, if God bad re
ferred the Ark to a committee on naval affairs
it's my opinion ii wouldn't have been built yet.
A pedagogue was about to fog pupil 70
having said he WAS fool, when the boy erie,
out" Oh, don't don't / won't call YOU s.
any more III never say what I think agail
N all the days of my lfe.'
Man, anatomists say, changes entirely ever
seven years. Therefore, said the witty Jones
" my tailor should not remind ME of the debt
contracted in 1852 amt the man who cor
traeted it."
witty fellow slipped down on an icy pave
ment While sitting, he muttered 81 have n
desire to see the town burned down, but sin
csrely wish the streets were laid in ashes"
country Mayor promised to attend a NEE,
ing but broke his engagement When remor
strated with, he excused himself by saving tbs
he had been attending another meeting. an
then plantively added " couldn't come vo
see can't be in two places at once. / am no
dr'phibious,"
There is dew in one flower and not in apstbs,
because one opens its cup and takes II in Will
the other closes itself and the drep runs off. Go
rains his goodness and mercy as wide spread q,
the dew, and if we lack them it is because w,
will not open eur hearts to receive them
A little two-and-s-half-year-e daughter of
Mrs. Metcsf, of st. Louis, lately fell through
loose plank into deep WELL when the mothe
instantly jumped in, and held the child at arm
length above the water for nearly an hour. cal
ing III vain for help. At last, taking off he
shoes, with the assistance Of loose board tn
the heroic mother managed to crawl nea
enough to the top to throw her child beyond th
edge of the well, and then extricated herself :
The first words the child spoke after the mott
er had caught it i'll the well were mother don
cry; Wen get cut yet"
VALUE OF AN ExPLANATIoN.-A eerts;
King, 1t is said. sent to another King saving
: Send me blue pig with a black tail, Z
else"
The other in high dudgeon at the presume
insult replied:
. have not got one, and If had"
On which weighty cause they went to war fc
many years. After a safety of plories an
miseriss, they finally bethought them that. ,
their armies and resources were exhausted
might be well enough to consult about the Or,
liminaries Ofpesce; but before this could b
concluded diplomatic explanation was needle
CT the insulting language which had formed Ii
ground OF the quarrel.
What could you mean, asked the secon
Aing OF the srst, g by saying Send me blu
pig with black tail, or else"
=. Why" said the other, " / meant blue ri
Win d PACK tail or else some other color. But
t .II ne, what could you mean by sayin!
have not got one, and If l had"
(" Why of course if had / sho,,Id bars .,nt,
al explanation which was entirely satisfsctor,
and pe2cA WAS conclrdaS nnnn-as..