New Orleans daily crescent. [volume] ([New Orleans, La.]) 1851-1866, 1861-02-18
& FLEET MARRIAGE.


Lady G. was beautiful woman, but Lady c.
was an extravagant woman. She was still single
| though rather passed extreme youth. Like most
pretty females, she had looked too high and
estimated her own loveliness too dearly, and now
she refused to believe that she was not as charm
| ing as ever So wonder she still remained III.
| married,
Lady c. had about five thousand pounds in the
| world. She owed about forty thousand pounds
SO, with ali her wit and beauty, she got into the
| Fleet, and was likely to remain there.
Now in the time speak of, every lady had her
| head dressed by d barber; and the barber of the
fleet the handsomest barber of the city of Lon
| don. Pat Phan was q great admircr Of the fair
sex; and where's the wonder? Sure, Pat was an
Irishman 1t was one very fine morning when Phi.
Ian was dressing her captivating head that her
ladyship took into her mind to talk to him, and Pat
was well pleased, for lady Cs teeth were the whit
| est and her smile the brightest in all the world.
$50 you are not married. Pat" says she.
"Niver an inch! your honor's ladyshp," says
he.
''And, wouldn't you like to be married F." again
| asked she.
s'Would duck swim?n
!" Is there any one you'd pTefer?''
| "Maybe, madame" says he, "you nver heard
| of Kathleen 0 Reilly. down beyond D0neraile. Her
| fathers cousin to O'Donaghew, who's own steward
to Mr. Murphy, the under-agent to my Lord King
| ston, and
I " Hush Y says she; "sure don't want to know
who she is. But would she have you if you asked
her?
"Ah, thin, I'd only wish I'd be after thrying that
same.'
H And why don't your"
"snre I'm too poor" And Philan heaycd pro-
digious sigh
Would you like TO be rich?"
''Does a dog BARK"
IF I make you rich, will you do as tell youe n
" Mile-murthers your honor, don't be tantaliz-
ing poor boy
Indeed, | am not" said lady G. So listen. How
would you like to marry ?n
Sc All, thin, my lady, I believe the King Of Russia
himself would be proud to do that same, lave alone
q poor divil like Pat Philan."
Well, Philan, if you'll marry me tomorrow I'll
give you one thousand pounds.;'
90, whilabaloo! whilahaloo! sure I'm mad or
enchanted by the good people, roared Pat, dane
ing round the room.
'*But there conditions says Lady G.
| :" After the first day of our nuptals you must
never see me again, nor claim me for your wife"
| " I don't like that" says Pat, for he had been
| ogling her ladyship most desperately
" But remember Kathleen O'ReilIy. With the
money I'll give you, you may go and marry herr
That's thrue," says he. But, thin, the
bigamy?"
.' I'll never appear against you" says her lady
ship. "Only remember you must take an oath
never to call me your wife after tomorrow, and
never to go telling all the story
" Never d word Eli liver say.n
Well, Them says she; Is there is ten pounds.
Go and buy license, and leave the rest to me -
and then she explained to him where he was to go
anu WHeu ne was TO come, ana ali tnat.
The next day Pat was true to his appointment
and found two gentlemen already with her lady
ship.
''Have you got the license?n says she
"Here it is, my lady says he; and he gave it
to her. She handed it to one of the gentlemen,
who viewed it attentively. Then, calling in her
two servants, she turned to the gentleman who was
reading.
And sure enough, in ten minutes Pat Philan was
the husband, the legal husband, of the lovely
Lady G.
''That will do" says she to her husband, as he
gave her hearty kiss ''that'll do. Now, sir,
give me my marriage certicate.' The old gem
tleman did So and bowling respectfully to the five
pound note she gave him, he retired with his clerk
for sure enough, forgot to tell you that he was
parson.
Go and bring the warden" says my lady to
one of her servants.
eyes, my lady, says she; and presently the
warden appeared.
"Wi you be good enough said Lady G.. in a
voice that would call bird off tree "will you be
good enough to send and fetch me hackney
coach? wish to leave this prison Immediately
''9our ladyship forgets," replied he, ''that you
must pay forty thousand pounds before can let
you 60"
g am married woman. You can detain my
husband, but not me- And she smiled at Philan,
who began rather to dislike the appearance of
things.
Pardon me, my lady, it is well known YOU are
single
al tell you am married."
Where's your husband ~
''There sir! !" and she pointed to the astonished
barber there he stands. Here is my marriage
certificate which you can peruse at your leisure
My servants yonder were witnesses of the cere-
mony. Now detain me, sir, at your peril"
The warden was dumb-founded, and no wonder.
Poor Phian would have spoken, but neither party
would let him. The lawyer below was consulted,
The result was evident. In half an hour Lady
G. was free, and Pat Phiian, her legitimate has
band, q prisoner for debt to the amount of forty
thousand pounds.
Well, sir, for some time, Pat thought he was in a
dream, and the creditors thought they were still
worse. The following day they had meeting and
finding how they had been tricked swore they'd
detain poor Pat forever. But as they well knew
that he had nothing, and would feel much shame
in going through the Insolyent Court, they made
the best of bad bargain, and let him go.
Well, you must know, about week after this
Paddy Philan was sitting by his little fire. and
thinking over the wonderful things he had SEEN
when, as sure as death, the postnan brought him a
letter, the first be had ever received, which he
took over to friend of his, one RYAN a fruitse1-
ler because you see, he was no great hand at read
ing writing, to decipher for him. 1t ran thus:
" Go to DoDerae and marry Kathleen O'Reillv
The instant the knot is tied fulfil my promise for
making you comfortable for life. But as YOU value
your life and liberty, never breathe syllable Of
what Is passed. Remember you are in my power
it you tell your story. The money will be paid to
you directly if you inclose me your marriage Ger
tlhcat3. send you $50 for present expenses.
0, happy paddy Didn't he start next day for
Cork, and didn't he marry Kathleen, and touch
thousand pounds? By the powers he did. And
what has more, he took cottage, which perhaps
you know, not a hundred miles from Bruffn in the
county Of Limerick; and i'ray, he forgot his first
wife entirely, and never told any one but myself
nnder the promise OF secrecy, the story Of his
Fleet Marriage
INHALATION OF INDICATED YAroRs FOR Cox
suAFrIoSThs mode of treatment for the of consunp