The weekly pioneer and Democrat. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. Territory) 1855-1865, 1861-11-29
william Brown Once More.

william Brown Once More.
Washington specisD Correspondence N. Y. Mercur,.
EDITOR I. T.-Having just made lus.
cious breakfast, my boy, on some biscuit
discovered amid the ruins of Herculaneum,
and purchased expressly for the grand army
by contracting agent for the government,
! take sip of coffee from the very boot in
which it was warmed, and hasten to pen
my dispatch.
On Wednesday morning, my boy, the
army here was reinforced by very fat man
from Boston, who said be had been used to
Beacon street all the days of his life, and
considered the State House somewhat su-
perior to st. Peters at Rome. He was a
very fat man, my boy; eight hands high
six aud half hands thick, and his head
looked like full moon sinking in the west
at five o'clock in the morning. He said he
joined the army to fight for the Union, and
cure the asthma, and Col. Norbert Wobin.
son thoughtlully remarked that he thought
he could grease pretty long bayonet with
out feeling uncomfortable. This fat man,
my boy, was leaning down to clean bis boots
just outside of tent, when the General o
the Mackerel Brigade happened to come
along and got back view Of him.
Thunder p says the General, stopping
short; "whos been sending artillery into
camp?
"There's no artillery here, my boy"
says I.
"Well," says he, "then what's that gun
carriage doing here?"
explained to him that what be took to
be gun carriage was fat patriot black
ing his boots.
1t is with raptures, my boy, that l record
the promotion of VILLAIN Brown, Regi.
ment 5, Mackerel Brigade, to the rank of
Captain, with the privilege of spending half
his time in New York and the rest of it on
Broadway. William left the army of the
Upper Potomac to pass his examination
here, and the Board of Examiners report
that he reminded them of Napoleon, and
made them feel sorry for the Duke OF Wei.
lington. One of the questions they asked
him was
Suppose your company was suddenly
surrounded oy a regiment of the enemy,
and you had precipice in your rear and
twenty-seven hostile batteries in 'front.'
what would you do ?"
"Id resign my commission, and write to
my mother that I was coming home to die
in the spring time"
"Sensible patriot" says the Board. care
you familiar with the history of General
Scott 2"
"You can bet on it," says William, smil-
ing like sagacious angel: Gen. Scott
was born in Virginia when he was quite
young, and discovered Scotland at an early
age. He licked the British in 1872, wrote
the Waverly Novels, and his son Whaha
bled with Wallace. Now, old boss, trot
out your commission and let's liquor"
Pause, fair YOUTH" says the Board.
"What makes you think that Gen Scott
had a son named 'Whaha /? We never
heard that before"
"He w says William agreeably, "that's be-
cause you don't know poickry. Why"
says William, " if you'll just turn to Burns
works, you'll learn that
"Scots wha ha' wi Wallace bled,"
and if that amt good authority, where's
your Shakespeare p
The Board was so pleased with Williams
learning, my boy, that l gave him bis COM
mission, presented him with two gunboats,
and cannon, and recommended him for
Precedent of the New York Historical So.
ciety
1t was rumcred in camp last night, that
the army would 60 into winter quarters,
and / asked Col. Wobinson if he couldn't
loan me a few quarters in advance, as felt
like going right away. He explained to
me that winter quarters would only be
taken in exchange for Treasury Notes, and
l Withdrew my proposition Tor popular
loan. ORPHEUs. G. KEBB.