The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1861-09-04
fte Nfsn who Knows t:teryshiug.

A mighty knowing iiih't was Caleb Page,
who kept the grocery at tic fork of the road,
near Woodchuck Greek, Sprag Hollow, In
the village of lIornville. No occurrence
had taken place, of all the particulars Of
which Caleb did not possess n thorough
knowledge in the minutcst detail. All mat
tcrs in the prospective were anticipated, dis
cusscd, arranged, and satisfactorily disposed
Of by Caleb, long before they took place.
If neighbOr rushed into the store tc COM
municate what he believed to be very re.
cent piece of news, he would have the con
ceit taken out of him 10y being told by Caleb
that he "heard Of it week ago" Events
Of the past, present, and future were all the
same to him: his ubiquitous knowledge
grasped and covered them ALTO him they
were all "stale news"
A small bet was made one evening be.
tween 81. Stevens and Joe. Stubbins. ST.
bet Joe. couldn't nonplus Caleb with any
piece of ittelligencc--rcal or imaginary
Joe took all such bets as that.
The following evening 81 and Joe, accom-
panied by two or three 'boys" Of the vii.
lage, who were to "hclp the thing along,''
and "fll in" proceeded to Caleb's store
After being comfortably seated here and
there, on barrels, boxes, etc, 81 opened the
evenings amuscments by asking, in man.
| ncr that indicated he was continuing con.
| versatiOn commenced before they had en-.
tered the store:
$50 you say, joe, that they caught him
at last?''
| ''Yes, sir, about seventeen minutes pas,
eight"
well, Joe, how far up the creek was it?"
"On careful consideration, should say
it was about three miles, or three and a
quarter, or perhaps, a half up the creek. "
Caleb who had not lost word of the
conversation, dropped his sugar scoop with
astonishment, and opened his ears, for the
boys were talking about matter in which
he was not "postcd up" The conversation
continued:
"Wel," says 81, 'that couldn't been far
from Deacon Hunts"
jest sO," answered Joe, "it was about
eighty rods from Deacon Hunts hog pen,
in >launch wise dirscton.'
"Did you hear joe" with face as solid
as gravrstone, show much lie th:y got ~
"ies, did," replied Joe, with another
face as solemn as two gravestoncs "I hcarn
that they got mig about sixty bar'ls Of lie. "
| The wags observed that Caleb was get.
ting exceedingly uneasy, and "piled it on. "
"Wcll, Joseph, how long was the rcptile?''
"Wcll, Silas, the inscct was about eighty
two feet long, and twcnty-eight odd inches
broad-thick in proportion"
II tho't, Joe, that there was two on 'em. "
That's fact; there was pair on EN-
but they only caught the he one"
AT this point Of the dialogue, Caleb be-
came so desperately excited that he could
contain himself no longer, and snappishly
demanded to know "what'n the thunder
they were talking about 2"
"Why," said Joe with we'll feigned AS
Constituent, don't you know about thei1
catching that are"
That are what ?" pecvishly snarled Caleb
"Why, that arc whale!' seriously answer
ed Joe Stubbins.
"a whalcv' exclaimed the bewilderet
Caleb, "havc they caught that whale up th'
creek ?"
They havn't caught anything clse," sal,
the imperturbable Joe.
Sand how much lie did they get?" in
quired Caleb, as he recovered his wits.
"Nincty-two bar'ls," replied Joe, forget
ting the amount he had previously men
toned.
:Well,' said Caleb, with a slow delib
Grafton, and satisfied look, "rm glad they
caught that whale, heard they were ar
ter him.