, 1861-07-04

"JOScpn, WGCTe II AIflCd
"0n the map, SIR"
81 mran Joseph, in what continent-Eastern
or Western Continent? ?"
"Well, the land of Africa is in the Eastern con.
tinent, but the people, sir, are oil Of IN down
South
What arc the products?'
"Of Africa, sir, or down South?"
"Africa, you blockhead."
well, sir, it hasn't got any; it never had
any,"
"ITow do the African people live?"
"By drawing"
Drawing what-water?"
"NO, sir; by drawing their breath"
"Sit down, Joseph. Thomas, what is the equa.
tori"
"why, sir. it is the horizontal pole running
pcrpendicularly through the ipaginations of as
trolOmers and old geographers." .....
GO to your seat, Thomas. William, what do
you mean by an eclpse?"
"An old race horse, SIR"
"Sicnce. Next. Jack, what is an eclipse?"
"An eclipse is thing as appears when the
moon gifts of on bust and runs agin the sun I;
consequently the sun blackens the moons face"
"Class is dismissed"
A German, who had 5000 in gold deposited in
one Of the Western banks, stepped up to the cOun-
ter the other day. presented his certificate, and de-
manded his gold. lie was paid, when be said to
the banker:
"Vot you gif for goIt now, chi"
alive per cent" was the response.
"Oh, yaw, dat ish gOot. | sell you desc for
goot paper mOnish."
AN right" was the reply; and 1915 in cur
rency was handed the ex-depOsitOr who took 81
from his roll Of notes, aud handed back Slj say.
ing:
IL deposit dat. nit you. You're goOt, SECS"
And taking his new certificate, he departed with
his SIS premium.
A minister WAS walking out one day and passed
two little boys, one Of whom made bow. As he
turned his back, he heard the following amusing
conversation:
why, John, didn't you know that was Par.
son ny" .-. -. ......
Yes, Of course, I did,"
"Why did you not make a bow TO him?"
"Why, mother don't belong to his church"
AT Berlin and London, the longest day has l6k
hours; at Stockholm and Upsal, l6I; at Ham
burg and Stettiu, II, and the shortest, I. At st.
Petersburg and TobOlsk, the longest day has l9
and the shortest hours. At Bornea, in Finland,
the longest day has q and the shortest p hours
At Wanderbus, in Norway. the day lasts from
tuC SiSt VI MAY w tHC gu Vi Ouly, WIlnOuL III
terruption; and at Spitzbergen the longest day is
81 months. tr...,.,
In the streets Of Leicester, one day, Dean Swift
was accOsted by drunken weaver, who, stagger-
ing against his reverence, said:
Il have been spinning it out"
"Yes.' said the Dean, l sec you have, and now
you arc rceling it home"
Mary W. Dennis, six feet two inches high, is
First Lieutenant Of the Saltwater company, Min
nesota regiment She baffled even the inspection
Of the Surgeon Of the regiment in discovering
hersex, but was recognized by ST. Paul printer,
who became shockingly frightened at her threats
Of vengeance upon him il he exposed her, and
he deeamped.
"a young lady seventeen years Of age ad-
vertiSes in New York paper for a husband.
She desires above all things that he possess "a
love Of moustache," aud she says she is COM
pclIed to adopt this mode Of opening a cores
pondence owing to the strict surveillance under
which she is placed at home. Address Ethel,
Brooklyn post Office"
One Of the weekly sensation papers in Boston
has commenced the publication Of thrilling
stories Of the present war, introducing Massa
chusetts volunteers and Their exploits. The first
story is founded on the attack upon tho Sixth
Regiment At Baltimore. a.
A Southwest Missouri paper says the equip
ment Of each soldier joining a military company
in that region ia quart Of whisky, one loaf Of
bread. one pocket Bible, one Barlow knife, aud
one fine tooth comb.
The City Council Of Lowell, Massachusetts,
has selected site for monument to be erected
10 the memory Of tho two persons who were
killed BY the mob in Baltimore on the l9Ih Of
April, .......
On the departure Of Salem, Mass, company,
for the wars, Rev. DR.. Worcester said: :" give
you, soldiers, for battle cry, The sword VI
The Lord and Of Washington
The New Haven Grays wore their own uni.
f6rm into service, instead Of calling on the State,
which the Srate authorities acknowledge BY
sending the company S2,oO0. -..
Lewis Cass has contributed ss5, 900 out Of his
private fortune for equiPping the Michigan vol
lnteers, and 300, 900 towards supporting their
amiies during their absence.
Secretary Cameron has declined to accept i'm.
ported linen for the Cadets at West Point, as he
lOlds that an article Of domestic manufacture
'hould be used.
Gov. Buckingham, Of Connecticut, has pre-.
ented each member VI the New Haven Home
iuard with Colts revolver, together with hO!.
ters and traPpings.
The Southern Pacific Railroad advertses or
me thousand slaves, either to be purchased or
liretl, for term Of i've years to be employed in
Texas.
Horace Day, the India Rubber" man, has
'rgSentcd Colonel AndersOn'S Kentucky brigade