Union County star and Lewisburg chronicle. [volume] (Lewisburg, Pa.) 1859-1864, 1861-04-05
The History of Uncle Sam and his
WOmaDkind.

unseemly behavior of UBcle Sans boys
how they wanted to divide his new lands
among rhem.elves-and how they quar-
relied about thesE man not doing bis duty
BY them 10 tts way: of protection. But,
as it did 10, concern my business at that
time, l said nothing Of his daughters, Of
whom he had a goOdly family, all buxou,
industrious hussies nor Of his wife, who,
as oil the world knows, talked and scolded
by the hour, aud was never quiet in the
house hre minutes at a time ; SO that,
what between the boys, the girls, and the
did woman, Uncle Sam had time of it;
especially during the winter season, when
they had nothing 20 do bu, sit dispu,ipg in
the chimney coruer from Ill morning I'LL ight.
The old lady, Uncle Sans wife, accor
ding 10 the marriage contract, bad house
and establishment Of Ler own, where she
played the mistress finely, aud bi, her
thumb at him, as if be had been nobody,
instead of her welded husband. Report
said, aud | believe it spoke truth at this
time, that she was a mighty caprcious
body, that hardly knew her own miud;
and: iusiead Of treating her children on
all occasions alike, had ever some pet or
another among them, on " hom she lavished
her favors, to the exclusion Of the others,
for the time being. But, on the whole,
she made Uucle Sam toler4ble wife, as
times 90, aud took special good care Of his
money, except when ii was to be sent upon
her own back. She always made out to
have plenty Of cash for her Own household
expenses, and never wanted her pin-mouey,
though the rest Of her family mi ght be on
sober commons. She was exceedingly
jealous Of her diguity, aud would never let
Uuce Sam have . fuger 10 any pie of
hers; though sometimes, when the worthy
old gentleman pu; his arms akimbo, aud
plucked up courage to say No to some of
her sxIravagant schemes Of domestic i'm
pro,emeut, she made great ado, and
cackIed about the house for all the world
ike au old hen that has lost her last
chicken.
The daughters we're in the main honest,
Industrious, good girls, but they took after
the old lady, in being most almighty
takers; aud besides this, bad pestilent no.
ton that L ncle Sam did not do By one as be
did by the other. He never patted one
on the cheek, or kissed her rosy lip, that
the rest did not pout in q corner for a
whole day; and if he happered to give
Que Of them a new gown, or pair OF ear
rings, or ary such matter, the others
would spit FIRE at him, like so many mad
pussy cats, and raise 6ue dust in bis
chimney cDruer. But, Notwithstanding
these kick-ups, they we're a very uLlted
family, and pridcd themselves on having
com Oh in,erestin everything. In truth,
the little chickering's they sometimes had
we're nothing but April showers, that, as
it we're, cleared the air, aud produced
fresh cup Of good will aud sis'erly affection.
One thing was repeatedly observed OF
then-tba,, let them be quarreling never
SO bad, they almost always pulled togetb-
! er against a common enemy.
! But after living 10 this way, sometimes
falling out and invariably making friends
again, un,il they bad many Of them grown
up, bone Of contention was somehow
thrown in among them, which, it was
feared, would at length dissolve the family
union. that, Notwithstanding these little
! squalls, had fourished an example of
prosperity and happiness to the whole
country around, ipsOmuch that the neigh.
bOrs looked up to it with equal envy and
admiration. 1t seems that some of the
girls, being, as | said before, naturally
given to industrious habits, aud fond Of
making trlfs of pOcket-money for them
selves, had set up various little domestic
manufactures within doors, such as spin.
ming, weaving, making straw bonneis, and
the like; which the others, being inclined
to dltfereG, occupations, such as cul,iva-
ting the garden, attending to the dairy,
aud, i, may be, sometimes reading roman
ces and poetry, did bold in great contempt,
aud take every opportunity to laugh at in.
cortiuen,ly. This BY degrees bred ter
! rble bubbub in Uncle SAM family, inso-
much that the worthy patriarch had no
res, nigh, or day, and at divers times ap.
piled to the old lady to interfere. Blu. he
culy burnt his fingers, for everybody said
she generally made matters ten times
worse BY trying to mend them.
Thugs went on at this rate for some
time, and Uncle Sam was privately heard
to declare, that he most devou,ly wished
all the young b,ggages fairly married aud
settled of 'thougb," added the good,
simple soul, "heasen hold the man tha.
undertakes to manage them" At length,