The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1861-02-07
WHAT NOT.

What fish do fowlers prefer 1.-The perch
What fish is seasonable in winter? "A good
skate.
What vessel does kiss remind you of?-A
smack.
What interjection is of the feminine gender?
-A-laSsl
When is sick man contradiction ?--When
he is an impatient patient.
What vegetable IS anything but agreeable on
board ship?- leek.
Can you spell brandy with three letters in
French 20. d. V.
Ii parents are shameless the conduct of their
children will generally be shameful.
Words are but poor fg-lesvcs to cover the
nakedness Of deeds.
The least praiseworthy are generally the
most covetous OF praise.
Ladies, please be sweet, but don't be too tor
mai. Be roses, but don't be prim roses.
I'm having change of air. as Mr. Jen-
kins the city broker said, when he put on a new
wig.
man may generally expect domestic
"breeze" when his wife begins to put on
"airs."
He who is tiger in his own family is gene
rally sheep in society.
If man is di,sipated Misfortune will probs-
bly, soon he so too
II falsehood paralyzed the tongue, what a
death-like silence would pervade society.
Husbands and letter paper should always be
well ruled
Did you ever know a woman that would not
think you intelligent. if you said her children
We're pretty?
Why is the letter like an individual who
has left an evening party because it makes
one gone
When is the letter L like piece of unpara-
lelled generosity when it enables a lady to
make over a lover.
Why is selfish friend like the letter P p
Because, though the first in pity, he is the last
in help.
The wise carry their knowledge as they do
their watches-not for display but for their own
| use.
If a man could be conscious of all that is said
III his absence, he would probably be a modest
man indeed.
wise man may be pinehed by poverty, but
only a fool will let himself be pinched by tight
| shoes.
We sup pose there is quite as large an amour,
OF craft upon the land as there is upon the wa.
ter.
A wag being asked the name of the inventor
of butter stamps, replied that it was probably
Cadmus, as he first brought letters into Greece
Abstemiousness and frugality are the best
bankers; they show handsome interest, and
never dishonor a draft drawn on them by theiI
humblts st customers
When men by age,fal in their sight and hear
ing, they had better console themselves with the
thought that they have seen and heard quite
enough
If you wish to learn all your defects, quarre
with your best friend, and you will be surprised
to find what villain you are even in the est
nation of friend.
Thomas Hood died composing-and that too
a humorous poem. He is said to have remarked
that he was dying out of charity to the under
taker who wished TO "urn Hrely Hood"
A facetious boy asked one of his playmates
how hardware dealer differed from boot-ma.
ker. The latter, somewhat puzzled gave it up
! why" said the other, because the one sold
! the nails, and the other nailed the soles"
) The people of a western town took thief on
the other night to tar and feather him but coulC
not find their tar-bucket. They failed in thei
enterprise, just a vocalist fails in singing
because they couldn't get the pitch.
Wei Jane, this is queer world" said Ed
to ms wife "a sect of women philosophers ha,
Just sprung up."-'Indeed," said Jane; sant
what do they hold ?'-"The strangest thing il
nature" said he,-"their tongues =
f The man that was stuck up with pride ba
been taken down, and hangs at present, on hi
own hook. In case the hook should give way
let him lie upon his own liabilities. until he !
is prepared TO sleep on a clear conscience.