Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1861-10-11
MISCELL ANY.
Artemus Ward Sees the Prince Ma.
p0leOn.

ltrom Vanity Fair
Notwithstandin haint writ much for th,
papers of late, nobody needn't fatier their
+sclves that the undersigned is ded. On The
eontry, still i've" which words wa.
spoken by Daniel Webster, who was able
man. Even the old-line Wings of Boston
will admit that. Webster is ded now, how.
sever, and his mantle has probably faler
into the hands of sum dealer in 2nd hand
close, who can't sell it. Leastways no
body pears to be goin round wearin it "a
any particlar extent, now days. The reg.
iment of whom was kurnal finerly con-
cluded they was better adapted as Home
Cards, which accounts for your not hearin
of me, ear lhis, where the bauls is
the thickest and where the cannon doth
roar. But as a American citizen I shall
never cease to admire the masterly advance
our troops made on Washington from Bull
Run, short time ago. II was well dun.
| spoke to my wife bout It At the time.
| My wife sed it was well dun.
1t havin there4 bin determined to per-
tect Baldinsville at all hazzuds, and as
there was no apprehenshuns If any imme-
jit danger, thought wood 60 OFF onto a
pleasure tower. Accordinly | put on a
clean Billed Shirt and started for Washin-
ton. / went there to see the Prints Napo-
leon, and not 10 see the place, which will
here take occasion 10 obsarve is about as
uninterestin locality as there is this side
of j. Davis's futer home, If he ever does
die, and where | reckon they'll make It so
warm for him that he will 81 for his sum-
mer close. II is easy enuf to see why a
man goes TO the poor house or the peniten-
tary. It's becaws he can't help it. But
why he should voluntarily go and live in
Washington is in'irely beyond my compre-
hcnsiun, and can't say no fairer nor that.
put up to leadin horel. / saw the
landlord and sed, /" How dye do, Square 2"
Fifty cents, sir" was his reply.
"Sir?"
Halfa-dollar. We charge twenty five
cents for lookin at the landlord and fifty
cents for speakin to him. If you want
supper, boy will show you the dinin room
for twenty-five cents. Your room bein in
the tenth story. it will cost you dollar TO
be shown up there
How much do you AK for breathin in
this equinomikal tavun?" sed l.
"Ten cents Breth," was the reply.
Washinton hotels is very reasonable in
their charges. \. B.-This is Sarkassum.
! sent up my keerd to the Prints, and
was immejitly ushered before him. He re-
ceived me kindly and axed me to 81. down.
81 hav cum TO pay my respecks to you,
Mister Napoleon, hopin ] see you bale and
hearty"
81 am quite WE'LL" he said. "Air you
well sir ?"
"So-nd as cuss +" answered.
He seemed to be pleased with my ways,
and we entered into conversation 10 onct.
How's Lewis 2" / aKed, and he sed
the Emperor was well. Eugeny was like
wise well he sed. Then / axed him was
Lewis good provider? did he cum home
arly mites? did he perfoom her bed room
at a unreasonable hour with gin and tanzy ? |
Did be go TO {" the Lodge" on mites when
there wasn't any Lodge? Did he often hav
to 90 down town to meet a friend did he I
have II extensiv acquaintance among poor
young widders whose husbans was in Cali
forny? to all of which questions the Prints
perlitely replide, givin me to uneerstan
that the Emperor was behavin well.
Al AK these questions, my royal duke
and most noble Illness and imperials, be-
caws TN anxious 10 know how he stans as
a man. | know he's smart. lie is cunnin,
he is lcng-headed, he is deep-he is CRATE.
But onlesss he is good he'll come down
with crash one of these days and the Bo-
nyparts will be Busted up agn. Bet your
life !"
aAir you preacher, sir ?" he inquired
sliiely sarkasticul.
No, sir. But / bleeve In morality. 1 +
likewise blccve in Mcctin Houses. Show