Daily Nashville patriot. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1860-1862, 1861-04-03

Artemus Ward Among the Shakers.
Artemus Ward, in VanIy Fair, gives some
of his experience among the Shakers:
sot down to the table, and the female in
the meal bag poured out sum tea She sed
nothIn, and for i've minits the only live thing
IN that room was old wooden clock which
tickt in subdoed and bashful manner In the
corner. This deathly stiffness mado me on
easy, and | determined to talk to the female
or bust. So seq |, marriage is agin your
rules. believe marm?"
"Yay."
'-The sexes liv strictly apart, I spect?v
ssYay''
.It's kinder singler." SEE l, putin on my
most sweetest look and speakin in winnin
voice, "tbat so fare a made as thow never
got hitched to sum likely Teller. IN. B. She
was upwards of forty, and homely as stump
fence, but thawt I'd tickil her.1
81 don't like men," she sed, very short.
''Wail, dunno" SEE /, "they're rather
important part of the populashun. don't
scarcely see how we could git along without
EN-"
"Us poor wimmin folks would git along q
great deal better if there was no menI'
you'll excuse me, marin. but 1 don't
think that air would win. 1t wouldn't BE-
regier."
Pm fraid of men," she sed.
That's unnecessary, marin. You amt in
no danger. Don't fret yourself On that
pint"
''Here we're shut out of the sinful world.
Here all is peas. Here we are brothers add
sisters. We don't marry, and consequently
we have no domestic difficulties. Husbands
don't abooz their wives-wives don't worrit
their husbands. There's no children here to
worrit u.s. Nothing to worrit US here. No
wicked matrimOny here. Would thow like
to be Shaker"
NO. SEE /, sit amt my STYLE"
Il had now histed in as big load of pro-
vishuns as L could carry comfortable, and
leaning back in my cheer. commenst picking
nv teeth with a fork. The female went ont,
sat thar long before the elder poked his head
in at the door. YOU'RE a man of sinI' he
sed, and groaned and went away.
Directly thar cum in two young Shaker
esses, as pretty and slick lOOkin' gals as l
ever met. 1t is troo hey was dressed in meal
bags like the old one I'd met previously, and
their shiny silky har was hid from sight by
long white caps, such as | spose female costs
wear; but their eyes sparkled like diminds,
their cheeks was like roses, and they was
charming enuff to make man throw stuns
at his grandmother, if they axed him to.
They cOmmenst clearin away the dishes, cas-
ting shy chances at me all the time. L got
excited. 1 forgot Betsy Jane in my rapter,
and sez l, my pretty dears, how are you?'
I'VE are all well, )" they solemnly sed-
'.Whar's the old man?n sed 1, in soft
voice.
..Of whom dost thow speak-brother
Uriah?"
81 mean the gay and festiY cuss who calls
me a man of sin. Shouldn't wonder if his
name was Uriah."
"He has retired"
"WaIl, my pretty dears," SEE 1, ''lets have
sum fun. Letsplay puss in the corner. What
say?"
'.Are yon Shaker, sr?" they axed.
"Wall my pretty dears, l haven't arrayed |
my proud form in long weskit yit, but if |
they was all like you perhaps I'd jine 'em. |
As it is, I'm Shaker prOtemporary.
They was full of fun. | seed that at fust, |
only they was a little skeery. l towt 'em |
puss in the corner and SIGH like phase, and We |
had nice time, keepin quiet of course so the |
cid man shouldn't hear. When We broke up, |
SEE l, my pretty dears, ear go you have |
no objections, hey you, to a inneIse kiss at
partin?"
"Yay," they sed, aud L yay'd-