Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1861-08-09
MISCELL ANY.
The War Fever i'm Baldwinsville.
BY AgTEMUs WARD.


As soon as I'd recoopera;ed my physikl
systerm, went over into the village. The
peasaniry was glad to see me. The school
master sed il was cheerin 10 see that gi-
gsntic inteleck among EN- onct more
That's what he called me. like the school
master, and alters send him tobacker when
I'm off on travellin campane. Besides he
is very sensible man. Such men must be
encouraged.
They don't git news very fast in Baldins-
Vile, as nothin but plank road runs in
there twice a week, and that's very much
oct of repair. So my nabers wasn't much
posted up in regard to the wars. Squire
Baxter sed he'd voted the dmicratic ticket
for goin on forty year, and the war was a
dam black republican lie. ,Jo Stackpole,
who kills hogs for the Squire, and has got
powerful muscle into his arms, sed he'd
I bet s. he could lick the Crisis in fair
stand-up fight, if he wouldn't draw knife
on him. So it went-Sum was for war, and
sum was for peace. The schoolmaster how
ever, sed the Slave Oligarky must cover at
/ the feet OF the North ere year had flowed
by, or pass over his dead corpse. Esto
| perpetua he added, g And sine qua non
4 also sed !, sternly. wishing to make an
impression onto the villagers. " Requies-
cat in pace sed the scioolmaster +" Troo
troo, troo troo," | answered, Z" rs a scam
dalouS fact
The newspapers got along at last, chock
I full of war, and the patriotic fever family
4 bust out in Baldinsvile. Squire Baxter
I sed he didn't believe in Coercion, not one
of EN-, and could prove by a file OF Eagfes Of
4 Liberty in his garrit, that it was all Wing
lie, got up to raise the price whiskey and
destroy our other liberties. But the old
Squire got putty riled when he heard how
the rebels was cuttin up, and he sed he
reckoned he should skour up his old mus
kit and do little square htin for the Old
Flag which had alters bin on the ticket he'd
voted, and he was too old TO Bolt now
The Squire is all right at heart but it
takes longer for him TO fill up his venera-
BILE Biler with steam than il used TO when
he was Young and frisky. As | previsly
informed you, | am Caplin of the Baldins-
vile Company. | riz gradooally but ma
jestically from drummer's Secretary TO my
present position. But | found the ranks
wasn't full by no means, and commenced
for to recroot. Having notst a gineral de-
sire on the part of young men who are in
to the Crisis TO wear epoylits, determined
to have my Co. composed exclusively of off
sers, everybody TO rank as Brigadeer Gin.
raj. The follerin was among the vari:
questions which put TO reeroots:
Do you know masked battery from a
hunk of gingerbread?
Do you know an eppylit from piece o.
chalk ?
Ii trust you with a real gun, how many
men of your own company do you speck
you can manage TO kill durin the war
Hav you ever heard of Ginral Price Of
! Missouri, and can you avoid similar acci-
dents in case of battle!
; Hav YOU ever had the measles, and if So
how many?
How air you now !?
Show me your tongue, &c. &c. Sum OF
the questions was sarcusstical.
The company filled up rapid, and last
/ Sunday we went TO the meetin house in full
uniform. had seris time gettin into my
military harness, as 1t was bilt for me many
years ago, but | finally got inside of it,
tho it fitted me putty elost. Howsever,
onct into 1t, look fine-in fact aw -inspirin.
- Do you know me Mrs. Ward z" sed
wakin into the kitchen.
"know you, you old fool! Of course |
do"
| saw at once that she did.
started for the meelin-house, and I'm
afraid | tried 10 walk too straie. i,r | cum
very near fallin over backards; and in at
tempiin TO recover myself, my sword got
, mixed up with my legs, and fell in among
choice collection of young ladies, who was
standin near the church door a seein the So
.. ier boys come up. My cockt hat fell off,
and somehow my coat-iales got twisted
round my neck. The young ladies put
I their handkerchers TO their mouths and re-
: marked "re he" while my ancient fe-
male single friend, Sary Peasley, bust out
: into loud larf. She exercised her mouth
! so yiently that her new false teeth fell ou
. onto the ground.
Miss Peasly," sed I, setiin up and
dustin myself" you must be more careful
{ with them store teeth of your'n or you'll
! hav to gum it agin
Methinks had her.
I'd bin to work hard all the week, and
!, felt very snoopy. I'm afraid did git hal
asleep, for on hearin the minister ask, ''WhI
was man made TO mourn 4" | sed, giv'
. il up havin vague idea that il was co
uundrum. In was an onfa.tinif remark. fo