Delaware State journal and statesman., 1861-01-29
THE EDITOR.
Written for tho New York Esprit Of tho Times BY
''hARlos WAYNE"

"ri"eh ior Inc New York -sprit Of tho Times" by
"dARoS WAYNE,'
The Editor is supposed to be an absolute
monarch in his sanctum King of Types, Die
tator in Opinion, Governor OF the Press, and
an embodiment Of We the people, he sends
forth his degrees weekly and daily, and none
dare question upon his little throne, Il mise
rable old man, he sits by day and night, medi-
tating plans to keep the world wide awake
His eye, with phine phrensy rolling" takes
IN at glance all the nations Of the earth, and
he goes out on night-sallies around creation
for rare items fer your breakfast. He feasts
you with Russian bear steaks, French frogs
Spanish olives, and Italian sausages, all dish
ed up for you while you lie snoring in bed
He's the chap that'll "put girdle round the
earth in forty minutes, touching at Kamschatka,
Kansas Kuba and Kalifornia.
Amiable as he may seem, yet to him there
is special providence in the fall of stocks
panics, earthquakes, cholera, yellow fever,
i5dr. These things make most men thin, but
tatten him like chickens, for the market. A
terrible murder or railroad catastrophe brings
him out in his new hat and Sunday suit these
accidents Of nature are made for his benefit
and have an effect on the circulation. He is a
perpetual angler in the waters of all mischief
Twenty-Five thousand men killed in the war in
ltaly-glorious news-large letters. He will
go, verify believe, ten miles with his jaded
mare-shanks to learn the particulars of a rob-
berry. He expands terrifcally on riots; strange
to say, his countenanoe illumines on hearing
of big fire, and his spirits rise in proportion
as Others fall, These things are his sweets,
his CONNECTIONS, his sugar-plums and his mon
ster types always Indicate hismerry hunor, A
dearth of news is like old Egypts famine it
unmans him, and he is unfit for business He
would die in nine days by the almanac, but for
succession OF nine days wonders. He knows
everybodys business, not as a busybody, but
because he can't help ii. He seems to possess
sort of ubiquity by correspondence, and ap-
pears at churches, and so devout that he can
tell you the sermon, word for word. Though
as prosy as dictionary, he appears at theatres,
applauds plays and actors, delights in the opera,
and fancies little Pickolowickominy now you
find him at a horse race, enlarging on the beau
ty Of the animals; now at a funeral ceremony,
solemnizing on human frailty and our dust /;
and next maunches at feast the good things
to iatten the frailty, and swallows the sparkling
champagne to consolidate the dust. Now he
peeps into mock auctions, is lighted upon by
Mr. Funk for country green-horn, is invited
to make purchase at "one-fourth the value,p
and Mr.. Funk undertakes to blow him next
morning Mr.. Funk finds himself set to music,
and blown on thirty thousand horns at least.
Now he goes into gambling ng-houses, to take
survey of the nests, and pictures the fancies
he saw there. Now marriages are announced,
then births and lastly deaths. and these all in
heap, and with as little ceremony as if they
were all the same to everybody, and if you can
find buster man in all creation, one who pos
sesses a more all-overlsh nature, publish it,
tell II in every street-why he'll take the shine
OF the busiest bee He submits patiently to
everything. Think of a woman sending her
baby to him in small crib, and thanking him
if he'll be pleased to notice it as the prettiest
baby, though it is cross eyed and measled.
People have such an idea Of an editors home
consumptive abilities that they overload him
with all sorts of inventions; every kind Of ma
chine to throw water, mix ice-cream, and con-
sumo smoke, must be tried in his sanctum /;
stone coffins, water proof, must be tested by
bis experience; he must throw himselfinto the
sea to prove lie-preservers. All sorts of ami
mails, wild noisy, rampant and savage, must
be passing before him to show their natures
and qualities Pumpkins of enormous size he
is expected to swallow whole, and patent med
icnes to be shaken, and then well taken in
deed, bis correspondents are SO unreasonable
as to expect Eve columns on an overgrown
potato, to the neglect of news by telegraph. To
be sure no mans pie is free from his huger-
but it's all in the way Of business. Why, he
will puff an undertaker-an undertaken, the
last man we think of-and who is never called
upon except through dire necessity, and then
through friend. He will tell you how beau
titully Mr.. Styx performed the last offices to
the dead, Of the great procession with mufied
drums and brass trumpets playing music in the
dumps; and then he whizzes of, TO recount a
prize SIGHT, broken bones, bloody noses, police
men, and a general fight.
As for an execution, be devotes space as
long as the rope with which the unhappy culprit
was hung enlarges on the virtues OF the hero,
fits him to 60 TO heaven among the saints, but
holds him too wicked for Governors pardon ;
how penitent the poor fellow was, how firmly
he walked to the gallows, how heroically he
beheld the rope as it dangled above him, bis
last speeches. how he killed for Keyser, and
died like Kirby. But everybody delights in these
things there are admirers Of murders who
wouldn't buy paper unless it contained half
dozen the scandal-monger looks for deaths
by secret poison, stryehniue, arsenic, OF for
your wicked notions; ten chances TO one you'll
villify him for giving you your favorite cake
when you have eaten it, for it is your curious,
prying, busybody propensities, that make all
these things daily necessity, to be laid out
before you on triple sheet at your breakfast,
But you, reader would not like TO be the hero
OF a hanging match, (porhaps) just to have
three or four columns spread for you-you
would consider your bread of that morning
spread with rank butter.
To-day the editor is savage about sp article
Of the opposition which cores him like bull Z;
it went right through bis skin and riled bin ;
now his dander's up, his hair stands on
end, he spreads himself for the combat-stand
back the guns are going off. He swells with
rage, his coat is of for the fight, and the image
Of that rascal opposite is before him, like an
draws his sword-that sword from the tail OF
old mother goose, that sword which oneeiesth-