The Placer herald., 1861-03-02
A Humorous Reminiscence.
BY CHARLES f. BROWN.

pduy VI tilcu WOUlu W u6IdiIou DIS DIlIISll,
and company as Americans-two leading
citizens being selected to rel resent Washing
ington and CORVALLIS in the mimic surren-
der.
Tho pleasant little town Of W, in
whose schools the writer has been repeatedly
corrected" upon whose ponds he has often
skated, upon whose richest orchards he has,
with other juvenile bandits, many times dash
ed in the silent midnight; the town of W,
where it was popularity believed these ban
dts would 'come to bad end" resolved to
celebrate the surrender Rival towns had
celebrated, and W determined to eclips
them all in most signal manner. 1t is my
privilege to tell how she succeeded in this
determination.
The great day came. 1t was ushered in
by the roar of musketry, the ringing Of the
village bell, the squeaking Of flies and rat
tlng of drums.
People poured into the village from all
over the country. Never had W ex
perienced such jam. Never had there
been such an onslaught upon gingerbread
cats. Never had New England rum Qor
this was before Neal Dow's day. flowed SO
freely. And W-'s fair daughters, who
mounted the house tops to see the surrender,
had never looked fairer. The old folks came
too and among them several war scared
heroes, who had fought galantly at Mon
mouth and Yorktown. The brave sons of
'76 took no part in the demonstration, but
an honored bench was set apart for their
exclusive use on the piazza of Sile Smiths
store. When they were dry all they had
to do was to sing out to Sile's boy Jerry, "a
leetle New England this way, if you please"
1t was brought forthwith.
At precisely nine o'clock, 10y the school
masters new "Lepeen" watch, the American
and British forces marched on the village
green and placed themselves in battle array.
reminding the spectator of the time when
Brave Wolf drew up his men
In style most pretty.
On the Plains of Abraham
Before the CITY,"
The character of Washington had been
assigned to Squire Wood, wel-to do and
influential farmer. while that of CORVALLIS
had been given to the village lawyer, kind
hearted but rather pompous person, whose
name was Caleb Jones.
Squire Wood, the Washington Of the oc-
cason, had met with many unexpected diff
culties in preparing his forces, and in his
he had emptied not only his own
but those of most of his aids. The
was-mortifying AS it must be
to all true misunderstanding as do to
tell ashington at the commencement
of the mimic struggle was most unqualified
ly drunk.
The sham fight commenced. Bang! bang
bang! from the Americans-bang bang!
bang from the British. The bangs were
kept up hotly until the powder gave out,
and then came the order to charge. Hun
dreds of wooden bayonets flashed fiercely
in the sunlight, each soldier taking very
good care not to hit anybody.
THAI (hic) right" shouted Washington;
who during the shooting had been racing
his horse wildly up and down the line.
THAI right!-Gn it TO em Cut their tarn-
al heads off"
"On, Romans!" shrieked CORVALLIS, who
had once seen theatrical performance and
the heroic appeals of the Thes
plan belligerents, "on to the fray! No sleep
till mornin'."
LET eout all their bowels" yelled Wash
ington, "and down with taxation on tea"
The fighting now ceased, the opposing
forces were properly arranged, and Cornwall
is, dsmounting, prepared to present his
sword to Washington according to pro-
gramme. AS he walked slow y towards the
Father of his Country he rehearsed the lit
tie speech he had committed for the occas
ion, while the illustrions being who was to
hear it was making desperate efforts to keep
in his saddle. Now he would wildly brand
ish his sword and narrowly escape cutting
off his horses ears, and then he would fall
suddenly forward on to the horses neck,
grasping the name AS drowning men seize
hold of straws. He was giving an inimta
bic representation of Toodles on horseback.
All idea Of the magnitude of the occasion
had left him, and when he saw CORVALLIS
approaching, with slow and stately STEP and
sword hilt extended toward him, he inquired:
"What'n devil you want any (hic) how!"
General Washington" said CORVALLIS,
in dignifed and impressive tones, 81 tender
you nv sword. need not inform you, sir,
how deep y"
The speech was cut suddenly short by
Washington who driving spurs into his horse,
playfully attempted to run over the command
er of the British forces. He was not per.
mitted to do this, for his aides, seeing his
unfortunate condition, seized the horse by
the bride, Strengthened Washington up in
his saddle, and requested CORVALLIS to pro-
ceed with his remarks.
General Washington" said CORVALLIS,
"tbe British Lion prostrstes himself at the
feet Of the American Eagle"
Eagle! Eage!" yelled the infuriated
Washington, rolling off his horse and hit