Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1861-10-19

part family.
'It's great family" sed I; ssbu
they scooped the old man H."
'FIow, sir?
"Napoleun the Grand. The British
ers scooped him at Waterloo. IL
wanted to do too much, and he did it..
They scooped him in at Waterloo, anC
he subsequently died at St. IIeleny :
There's where the greatest military
man this world ever produced, pegged
out. 1t was rather hard to consine
such man as him, to St HeIeny, tc
spend his larst days in cachin macker-
II, and walking up and down the dreary
beech IN military cloak, drawn titeIy
round him, (see picture books,) but 50
it was. lied Of the army !" Them
was his last words. So he had bin
lie was CRATE Don't [ wish we had a
pair Of his old boots to command some
Of our Brigades."
This pIeazed Jerome, and he tux me
warmly by the hand.
"Ajixander the Crate was punkins, -
! continnered, "but Napoleun was pun
kinser! Alec Wept becaWs there was
no more worlds to scoop, and then took
to drinkin. lie drownded his sorrers
III the flown boIe, and the flowin bole
was too much for him. 1t gineraIIy is.
lie undertook to Civ snaik exhibit
Shun in his boots, but it killed him.
That was bad Joke for Alec -
"Since YOU are SO soIicitous about
France and the Emperor, may I ask
you how your own country is getting
along ?" sed jerome, in q pleasant
voice.
cts mixed," I sed, ''but I think we
shall cum out all right"
'ColumbuS, when he diskivered this
magnificent continent, could hav had
no idear Of the grandure it would one
day assoom," sed the Prints.
''It cost Columbus twenty thousand
dollars to fit out his exploring expedi-
tion," sed I. ''If he had been q sensi-
bic man, he'd hav put the money in q
boss raiIrode or q gas company, and
left this magnificent continent to the in
telIigent sayages, who, when they got
hoLd OF 9ood tnlnG, knew enUfl TO keep
it, and who wouldn't have seeded, nor
rebeld, nor knocNt Liberty III the he'd
with " sung Shot. Columbus WASH t
much of feller, after all. It would hay
bin money in my pocket if he'd >taid at
home. Chris meant well, but he put his
loot IN 1t when he sailed tor America. "
we talked sum more aboWt matters
u things III general, and then Irlz to 90.
Il will now say good bye to yoN, my
noble SIT, and good luck to YOU and
yourz. Likewise the same to Eugeny
Also to the gorguS persunS composing
your scot Ii the EmperorS boy don't
like livin a. the Ioolerles, when he gets
older, and wood like to embark IN the
show bMness, let nm come with me,
and III make man OF hln1. You 1lnd
US somewhat mkt, as lbetore obsarTed, ,
but come agln next year and you'll find
us cleaner nor ever. The American Ea-
gle has lived 100 SUntuoUsIy OF late his
becum fowl, and he's now TAX
ING i site cmetic. That's all the mat
ter Of him. we're getting ready to strike
4 BIG blow and shure one. When we
10 strike, the fur viii fly and s"cesshun
will be III the hands OF the undertaken,
3hoeted fur so deep q grave that nothin
short of GabricI's tromboon will ever
awaken it! Mind VIII at say. You've
now heard the Snowman"
Then advi~in him to keep away from
Peter Funk auctions Of the east, and the
of corner lots in the west, I
bid him farewell, and went away.
There was u festival at what's-his-
aame's, and thawt I'd iine in the fos-
-iyities for spell Who Shood I see
out she that was Sarah Watkins now
he wife OF our Con9resser, trippin in