Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1861-08-03
From Vanity Fair.
Artemas Wards Weathersfield Ora
ton.
Delivered July 4th, at Veathersfeld,
Connecticut, 1859.


Connecticut, 1859.
RI delivered the follerin, about two
wears ago, large and discriminatin
awjince. | was 90 minits passin a Civ
en- pint. I hev revived the orashun, d
added some things which makes it ap-
proposser to the times than it otherwise
would bee. / have also kurrected the
grammers and punktooated it. / do
my own punktooating now days. The
printers in Vanity Fair office can't
punktooate wuth a cent
Fslzer Citizens I've bin honored
with an invite to norate before you to-
day; and when say that | sl<urcely
feel ekal to the task, Pm sure you will
believe me.
Weathersfcld is justly celebrated
for her onyins and patrltlsm the world
over, and to be axed to paws and ad-
dress you, on this, my fust purfeshern-
al tower thru New Englan, causes me
to feel-to feel-I may say it causes
me to feel (Grate applaWs. They
thawt his was one of my eccontrlcl-
ties, while the factis | was stuk This
IS between you aud L.
I'm q plane man. | don't no nothln
about no ded languages and am little
shaky on livin wuns. There4 expect
NJ tiowrcy talk from me. What |
shall say will be to the pint, rite stratc
out.
Pm not a politician and my other
habits amt good. I've 10 onemy's to
reward nor friends to spungc. But |
am Union nan. [ luv the Union
1t is a good thing-and it makes my
hart bleed to see Il lot Of orncry peple
4 moving heyen-no, not heycn, but
the other place-and earth to bust 1t
up. Too much good blud was split in
courtin and marryin that highly respec-
table female, the Goddess Of Liberty,
to cit divorce from her now. My
own State of Injianny is celebrated for
unhitchin marrid peple with ncatncss
and despatch, but you can't get o di-
yorce from the Goddess up there. Not
by no means. The old gal has bchav-
ed herself too we'll to cast her off now.
I'm sorry the picters don't give her no
shoes or stockins, but the band Of stars
mon her head must continnCr to shine
undimed, forever Pm for the Union
as she air, and withcred be the arm Of
every ornery cuss who attempts to bust
her up. That's nc. | hcy sed. It
was a very swcaty day, and ut this pint
of tbs orashun man fell down with
the sun stroke. [ told the awiincc that
considering the large number Of putty
gals present, | was more frald OF a
dawter stroke. This were impromp-
too and it seemed to amooze them very
much.
Feller Citizens I hain't got no time
TO notice the growth of Ameriky frum
the time when the Mayhowers cum
over in the Pilgrim and brawt Plym-
mouth Rock with them. But every
sllule boy nose our career has been tre-
meniis. You will excuse me cf | DO
not prase the early settlers Of the kol-
onies. peple which hung idiotic old
wimin fur witches, burnt holes IN Qua
kers' tongues, and conslncd their tei-
Ter critters to the trcdmill and pillcry
on the slitest provocashun, may hey JJiiiiil
very nice folks in their way, but must
confess | don't admire their stile, and
will pass them by. spose they meant
we'll, and so, in the novel and techin
langwidgc Of the nusepapers, "peas 2
there ashis." There was no diskount,
however, on them brave men who fit,
bIed and died in the Amerikin Revolu-
shun. We needn't be afraid Of set
ting 'em up too steep. Like my Show
they will stand any amount of prase.
G. Washington was about the best man
this world ever sot eyes on. He was
clear,heded, warm lharted, brave and
stiddv goin man. lie NEVER sLoPI
OVER. The pervailin weakness NV
4 most public men is to SLOP OVER
. [Put them words in large Letters s,-A
WI They git filed up, and slop.-
They Rush Things. They travel two
mutch on the high preshcr principle
They git onto the fust poplar hobby
/ hoss which trots along, not carin sent
whether the beest is even goin, cleer-
sited and sound, or spawned, blind and
bawky. OF course they git throwed
eventooally, if not sooner. When tha
see the multitood goin it blind they &C
Pei Mel with it instia Of exertin their
selves to set it right. They can't see
that the crowd which is now bearing
them triumf:sntly on its shoulders vii
soon diskiver it's error and cast then
into The boss pond of Oblivyn without
the SLIGHTEST hesitashun. Washington
never Slopt Over That WASH
Georges stile He lovid his county
dearly. He wasn't after the spiles.-
He W human angil in 4 , kornored