The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1861-11-07
KENOsHA WISCONSIN, THURSDAY, NOVEMBER z 1861.


With a lightened heart now stole back to Pau
who, Just as I was about to touch him softly on
the shoulder and put my lips to his ear, crap
pied me fiercely by the throat, and made des-
perate effort to knock my legs from under me.
The act took me so by surprise that could not
repress a slight ejaculation of anger, which
served to rectify the trapper's mistake and make
us both beat a nimble retreat in the direction OF
our own canoe into which we hastily scrambled
nearly upsetting it in the process"-and then
hurried away for mid-stream. Sudden as the
movement was the Indians were not less prompt
in dashing off in pursuit, and our prospects OF
escape were still farther precarious.
What is the matter with the craft ? cried
Paul she don't move
One of our amiable friends is hanging on
astern,' cutching my tomahawk and bending
down to make sure OF my aim.
knock him on the head chop his arm off!
shrieked the trapper, thrHsting the muzzle OF
his rife into my face and pulling the trigger
At the same moment l made cut at dark OBJ
iect beneath me, handful of hair was torn from
my head, there was a loud yell in which join
ed, felt our canoe rushing swiftly through the
water / tumbled helplessly back upon Paul
Skinner-and we were free.
We were about to pay somewhat dearly for
L
we had regained our breath and increased the
distance between ourselves and foes at least a
couple of leagues and to think, too, that my
piece should miss Ere at such a critical moment!
I never regretted anything so much in my life
Ind sed,' said 1 =, . l assure you am far from
reciprocating your sorrow. Perhaps you are
not aware that you snapped it at my head.
Nonsense cried Paul with long laugh
dbl? Well, I was little excited, and the
thing was excusable. Your English percussion
caps ares6ad.'
They are the finest in the world
Well, l am not going to quarrel with you,
returned the trapper for l have an ounce bur
let in my back. By-the-by, have you sustained
any damage2'
None save the loss of about quarter Of q
pound of hair
IN .rnporte, replied Paul pleasantly. Cesar
himself. you know was bald And not daring
to shoot the rapids in the dark, we landed ashore
for the portage, and with the inverted canoe
upon our heads, buried ourselves once more IL
the silent forest
How to steal a FeatheP-Bed.
Stopping for a glass of cider at a village pub
lis in East Devon, | heard story i'll connection
with the above reconcile subject, which amused
me much. and may interest some of the readers
of Once A Week.
A rustic, who had spent all his money in get
ting tipsy at the rival establishment, came up t.
the landlord of the Crooked Billet, and asked
him to give him some iquor-about the height
of all possible insult to publican, and so he o
the Crooked Billet seemed to think-but the
tipsy one was not to be put off in hurry he
continued bis opportunities, and for a pint O
cider, he said, he would impart-a most valua
BILE secret. The landlord seemed rather to prick
up his ears at this, and at length consented tt
bestow a halfpint on condition of hearing
something to his advantage ); and the liquor wal
handed over and drained by the applicant.
Now said he, with confidential air. and il
a stentorian whisper, Next time you da steal {;
veather-bed, Masr, mind you goo down stair
wi un backwards
Great was the hosts indignation at this sec
ond affrout, but greater was my curiosity It
know the meaning of the phrase employed, an'
inquiring Of the farmer in the inn, l obtaine
the following explanation:
There was, it seemed, at u village some dis
lance off, surgeon who prided himself upo
his acuteness, and continually boasted that h
had never been done.
Now it happened one day that a scamp, VIII
lived By his wits, was lurking about the hous
on the look -oat for plumber, and having notice.
the surgeons wife set off for the market, say
presently the surgeon himself go out, as he sup
posed to visit his patients. Him, likewise, b
watched off the premises, and then, hndlng tn
coast clear stole in through the front door, an
walked up stains to lay hands on whateYe
seemed most eligible: the booty selected wa
the best feather-bed; this he took on his back
and began descending the stairs, with the pre-
caution of coming doaoa backwards he had go
about halfway down when in came the surgeo
again g.,
Halo my man, where are you going wit
| that bed 2
.Goan upstairs wi un, sur. There's genlur
down to tn Rose and Crown, sur, as says
old friend o yours, just come from lnger an
comun to stop wi you, sur-and comun up hin
self presently wis luggage-and he'v We sent
up, sur, wi these yer bed
| i shall not admit it. l shall not admit 1t.
don't know any such person, and / m not goln
to be imposed upon-likely thing, lndeed-d
you suppose any stranger can come aud quartz
| himself on me with a tale like that No, NJ
you 90 back, and take the bed along, too, an
give my compliments to the gentleman and sl
| he's made some mistake, and don't know hlm
We'll, sur, It's warm day, sur; and make
bold sur, l hope you'll allow me somat
drink
VERY well, don't mind giving you glass
| he rid Of the MISUNDERSTANDING you go bac
and say as I've told you.
Oil walked the rascal with his burden.
By and by, returned Mrs. Surgeon, and wei
up stairs to take off her bonnet down she cam
again.
Now, my dear, always making some alter
ton without consulting me, and what have yo
done with that new feathef-bed?
%, Lord !! said the wretched man. Il see
all
Pray what do you see, my dear ?
But enough. Of course the surgeons rep,
tation for sharpness was gone, and that was I'll
approved way to steal a feather-bed in II
nelghborhood.
The Great Naval xpeditiOn---H nstf"e