The Council Bluffs nonpareil. [volume] (Council Bluffs [Iowa]) 1857-1867, 1861-12-28

A LITTLE OF EVERYTHING.
g. wha. plaything may be deemed sbov,
every other PA top.
c." Oh, you be blow'd p Is the blue
bottle said to the veal.
rTWby 10 palm-tree like chronology
-sBscause it furnishes dates.
Evspsaking Of fashionable hats, should
one say ''the latest STYLE" or the --latest
tile 2"
R~5- II is said that . Jew declined to pur
chacs soma iron because it happened to b.
pig iron.
eT The geological character Of the rocl
On which drunkards split is said to b.
quartz.
cTA lazy fellow lying down on the gras,
said, "Oh, how wish this was called work,
and well paid for.
eT-"Well, Jem, what is commensa-
tor Z" "Why, | suppose it must be the
commoncst Of all taters."
gT-A live turkey would seem to be less
noisy than q dead one, for while one makes
only din, the other makes dinner.
ey-People should never kiss those Of
their own sex we never kissed boy in our
ifs-except occasionally pretty tomboy.
eTItis said that some mothers are grown
50 affec,ionate that they give their children
chloroform previous to whipping them.
eT.Young men who would prosper in
love should WOO gently. 1t is not fashion
able for young ladies to take ardent spirits.
ET-To ascertain whether q woman is
Passionate or not take muddy dog into her
parIor or bedroom.
CO A cotemporary has been studying
phonotyphy. Here is a specimen" Wat
kant ord must ndurd."
GTDr. Franklin used to say that rich
widows are the only pieces Of second. hand
goods that sell at prime cost. ...s -..s.
gT.0n what ground may confectioners
be deemed very mercenary lovers? Because
they sell their 'kisses.'
eT-Soms slanderous old bachelor says it
Is much joy' when you first get married,
but Wis more jamy after year or so.
GA popular preacher received so many
pairs of slippers from the female part Of his
congregation, that he got to fancy himself
censiped.
IAN old bachelor, seeing the words
'families supplied" over the door Of shop,
stepped in aud said he'd take O wife and
two children.
eE-ln these days, when sacks are fasl-
ionabie female dresses, gentleman may be
thankful to the lady who gives him the sack
with it's contents.
GTReligion is the basis upon which civil
government rssts-that from which power
derive. its authority, laws their efficacy, and
beth tnsir sanction.
An English editor Acknowledges the
receipt OF bottle Of brandy, forty
eight years old, aad sa,s-.Tbis brandy
is 50 very old We fear it cannot keep much
longes.'
cred at noon on Tuesday, aud published in
"Wednesday morning. The telegraph is a
fast Institution.
CT They are burning corn for fuel in
Lrgsn eaaaty, Illinois, add corn at seven
cents ba,hei is cheaper than coal at twenty
cents. Il is in grea. favor With the boys,
as II daes not require to be sawed OF split.
cTGeneral Lander RECEIVERS slowly the
wound does not seem TO heal. II was probed
again fex days ago, and it is hoped the
result xiI prove favorable. lie has had the
asstdaaus attention Of his devoted sister,
Mi.a Lander, the sculptures, during bis
whole sickness.
Ell the sCoufeds' wan. to wake up
about $1,000 lire lsishmsn in the North.
evsry man al whom will be hero worthy Of
the sallsn. 6ash, let them hang Col. Cerca-
ran. II viii be the eossliess hanging the
scaandrs.s ever inaslged 10.
rTs,s.l vests, to be warn under the
eater clothing, capable Of resisting a rife
shot or hsvonet thrust, and Weighing about
three and 4 half pounds each, are nos MAJ
ufaesurea 10 great quantities By Company
in New Haven, CT.
y"Prsv, Miss D." said gentleman,
the other evening. "why are ladies' 80 fond
Of ossesrsf'' s'ifa~ stupid ~ she replied.
81. IL no, natural that . lady should be fond
Of good Offer, SIR ~
- A wicked xas Of lawyer, in one
OF cur country cosrss recently seaodahaed
the bench, BY putting the following query
20 bis professional hrethren -. Why Is
Judge a-ani-so like necessity 2" The
"meneess OF The bar, then aud there pres
ens,s quickly answered, sBseAase he knows
no Law.
The noss intimate friends Of General
Scott have 90 horee thai be will ever re-
turn alive 10 tbs country many Are evsn
anticipating thai II the sea Is rough he may
notssarviss The vsrsge. There is .adnsss
in the ;aaasas sasss Hay tsc 70 ssrsisu
laad.