Centre Democrat. [volume] (Bellefonte, Pa.) 1848-1989, 1861-11-21
"About six o'clock this evening"" said

SuOS vi Llo JOiACl lIACuN, iNpdllCo " Ci"J
stable, in Warren street, where he hired a
started through by street to the residence
of his friend Gale on Long Island.
On arriving, he left his horse and wagon
at public house, and proceeded to the
aforesaid residence, where he inquired OF
ing answered, as he knew he would, in the
negative, he said
g This is unfortunate. 1 wanted to pay
him some money. II | could see Mrs. Meeks
it would do as well /; she could give me a
receipt in the name of her husband"
Mrs. NJ. was frugal and industrious, and
always attentive to her husband S interests.
As the last remark fell from the lips of Nat,
a fine lookidg matron called from up. the
stairs, TO show the gentleman into the par
lor, where she followed in few minutes
Nat bowed and said
g desired to see Mrs. Meek, madam"
"Very well, ! am Mrs. Meeks," replied
she.
@ Pardon me, madam" said Nat, with a
doubling shake of the head ''but this is a
matter of some Importance the payment of
money and you are not the lady that Mr..
| Meeks introduced to me as his wife, last
winter
Not the lady ? what !" shrieked she !;
''do you mean to tell me that"
&c simply tell you, madam, replied Nat,
with icy imperturability, "that Mr.. Meeks,
last winter, in Broadway, near Leonard
Street, introduced me to a lady whom he
called Mrs. Meeks, and you are not the
lady"
:" Indeed ~ exclaimed Mrs. NJ, her eyes
flashing fire show old was she O.
-" Well, about twenty five.
ed ?''
g She wore her hair in ringlets, had dia-
mond ear rings-''
G Diamond ear rings -
GA heavy silk elvet dress. very large
gold bracelets. magnificent watch and
chainn
q Well, go on she said spitefully.
'' Silk velvet hat, trimmed with magnifi-
cent lace, and a muff and boa"
. Boa p wrenched out the now thorough
ly irate dame you had better bore your
way out of this house, sir, mighty quick, or
else some body will have headache No,
siI, am not Mrs. Meeks, and want you to
leave"
Cob, certainly" SAID Nat, who saw the
tallest kind of squall brewing, and who
had good reason to fear that that the sturdy
dame might launch at his head a conch she'll
or some other other of the heavy ornaments
which adorned the mantle Nat, therefore,
beat retreat from of the premises, and
placed himself behind a stone fence, from
which he could command a view of the
Brooklyn turnpike He did not wait long
before he saw the amiable Gale driving down
the road all unconscious of the ambush Of
Nat. The expression upon Gales face was
one of the greatest amiability, End exempli
fed that he was at peace with ''all the
world and the rest Of mankind "
In a brief space of time Gales steed was
given into the charge of a stable boy, and
unconscious and happy, he entered his domi-
ell and shut the door. The moment he en-
tered an attentive ear might have detect ed
the sounds of y-ice in no way mellow or
expressive Of endearmC>S; and IN an instant
after Gale hurriedly camA through the door,
with amazement on his face and mop in
his rear, the wrong end of which was under
the direct and personal superintendent of a
lady who was very red IN the face and very
sturdy in the arms, and who strongly resern-
bled Mrs. Meeks.
The battle had commenced IN the passage
way. Gales castor, which had shone in the
rays of the setting sun, as he drove down
the road. was very much bruised and out of
shape; indeed, it was driven down over his
amiable physiognomy.
i" What in thunder is out ?'' yelled Gale.
"Twenty five years old,' shreked the
infuriated dame, and bang, Gale caught the
mop over his shoulders. 'Corkscrew ring>
let's and punk he got it in the back, with
all the strength which nature and anger had
given to the enraged lady.
"D-n it, don't do that ~
But it was no use, he had to take it.
Diamond ear rings !" punk. Silk vel.
vet dress, bang. Gold bracelets, whump',
Murder" roared Gale
{. Wa tch and cbain,'' she shrieked, and
bif he took it over the head.
Muff," bang, slump. e Boa" bang,
bhng. and down went Gale with yell of
murder.
Now fell the blows thick and fast upon
the bruised hsad back and face of the pros
trate joker ; while the lady again rehearsed
! the catalogue of the wearing apparel and
| Jewels Of the other Mrs. Meeks, timing the
utterance of the name of each article with a
blow upon her PROSTATE, writhing and blee d.
ing lord.
But all things must have an end The
violent exercise of the arms and lungs, in
which Mrs. Meeks had INDUCED, had some
what exhausted her. She had thrice run
through Mats imaginary catalogue, and,
feeling her strength departing, gathered her.
self for one grand and final effort Gale
lyoked with horror upon the appraised mop
he heard the words, ooh, the huzzy," shout
ed In vigorous tone he heard hustling,
whizzing sound in the air, and the next in
slant the poor fellows nose was as fiat as
the other parts of his face. His two tor
mentors retire ated into the mansion and left
him alone in his gore. Slowly, and with the
most keen sensations of pain, he raised him
self into sitting posture, and with many a
groan Of agony. he proceeded to inspect his
personal condition.
"This arms broke certain! Oh I! and
this left shoulder must be disloeated Good
Lord, what nose [ shan't be able to go
about for month Oh, Lord, how sore
am
Now. Nat, With the most pleasurable emo
tlons, had through the crevice of the fence,
observed the whole of the little family jar
which have so freely described and he now
stood looking over the fence at the back of
his dear friend.
az say, Uncle Gale" shouted Nat.
Hey" said Gale, as he turaed in some