The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1861-10-12
"Sound as a cuss g. / answered.

OOAnO 90 . CO5S 6uSWSICOs
He seemed to be pleased with my ways,
and We entered into conversation to onct
SHOWS Lewis go axed, and he sed the
Emperor was well. Eugeny was likewise
well, he sed. Then asked him was Lew
is good provider? did he come home arly
mites did he perfoom her bed room at an
unreasonable hour with gin and tanzy !?
Did he go to 'the Lodge" on mites when
there wasn't any lodge? did he often hav
20 go down town to meet friend ? did he
have a extensiv aequaitance among poor
young widders whose busbans was in Cali
forny to all of which questions the Prints
perliteIy replied, giving me to understan
that the Emperor was behavin well.
81 ak these questions, my royal duke
and most noble highness and imperials, be-
caws I'm anxious TO know how he stands
as a man. ! know he's smart. He is cum
min. he is long heded, he is deep-he is
CRATE. But onless he is good he'll come
down with crash one of these days, and
the Bonyparts win be Busted up agin.-
Bet yer life!'' 900 y
"Air you preacher, sir?" he inquired,
slitely sarkasticul.
mo. sir. But believe in morality. I
likewise beleevu in Meetin Houses, Show
me place where there isn't any Meetin
Houses and where preachers is never seen,
and I'll show you place where old hats
air stuffed into broken winders, where the
children air dirty and ragged, where gates
have no hinges, where wimin air slip shod,
and where maps of the DEVILS wild land
air painted upon mems shirt bussums with
tobacco jooce That's what I'll show you.
Let US consider what the preachers do for
before we aboose EN-
He said he didn't mean to aboose the
clergy. Not at all, and he was happy to
see that I was interested in the Bonypart
family.
''It's CRATE family" sed I. but they
scooped the old man in"
How, sir ?" --.
"Napoleon the Grand. The Britishera
scooped him at Waterloo. He wanted to do
too much. and he did it They scooped
him in at Waterloo, and he subsekenLly
died at St. Heleny! There's where the
greatest military man this world ever pro-
juced pegged out. 1t was rather hard to
consine such man as him to St. Heleny,
to spend his lsrsL days in catchin mackeril,
and walkin up and down the dreary beach
in military cloak drawn titely round him,
(see picter books, but so it was. He'd oil
the Army I Them was his larst words.
So he had bin. He was CRATE ! Don't
wish we had pair of his old boots to com
mand sum of our Brigades 70
This pleased Jerome, and he took me
warmly by the hand.
ALEXANDER the Crate was pnnkins."
continered, 'but Napoleon was punkinser
Alie wept becaws there was no more worlds
to scoop-and then took to drinkin. He
drowned his sorrers in the flown bole, and
the flown bole was too much for him. Il
gineraliy is. He undertook to give a snake
exhibition in his boots, but it killed him
That was bad joke for Alic -
"Since you are solicitous about France
and the Emperor, may ask you how your
own country is getting along" said Jerome,
in a pleasant voice. s.r
"It's Mixed" I sed. "But think we
shall cum out all right"
Columbus, when he diskivered this mag
nificent continent, could have had no idee
of the grankeur it would one day assoom,' -
sed the Prints. 4ea
| cit cost Columbus twenty thousand dol
lars to fit out his exploring expedition
sed I. elf be had bin sensible man, he'd
| hev put the money in boss railrsad or q
gas company and left this magnigcent CON
tinent TO the intelligent ssvages, who, when
they got hold of good thing, knew enuh
to keep it, ard who wouldn't have seeded
nor rebelled, nor knockt Liberty in the bed
with slungshot. COLUMBUS wasn't much
of Teller, after all. It would hav bin
money in my pocket if he'd staid to home
Chris. meant well, but he put his foot in il
when he sailed for America" Dc.
We talked sum more about matters and
things, and at last rig to go. 81 will now
say good bye to you, noble sir, and good
luck to you. Likewise the same to Clotil.
dy. Also to the gorgeous persons which
compose your SCOT. If the Emperor's boy
don't like living at the Tooleries, when he
! gifts older, and would like to imbark in the
show bizness, let him come with me and
III make man of him. You find US sum-
what mixed, as before observed, but come
agin next year and you'll find us clearer
FOR ever Then sdyisiU
him to keep away from the Peter Funks
auctions of the East, aud the proprietors OF
corner lots in the West. I bid him farewell
and went away. Yours muchly,
Trr1 WARD,