The Jeffersonian Democrat. [volume] (Chardon, Ohio) 1854-1865, 1861-08-30
VOLUME XII. NO. 35.
seve,oty.Five Dollars for Dinner.


the country. 1; seems he was on VISIT
TO a country village in which he owned
some real estate, and after transaciing his
business he came TO the village botel'
about 8 p. NJ, tired, dusty and hungry,
and applied Tor a hot dinner. A smar:
clerk 10 attendance, glancing at his rather
rusty habilments, told him "Ghey didn't
have hot dinners for travellers at that
time Of day, but to wait till The committee
on the New Town Houss were attended
10, and il there was any chance then, he
would see."
But" remarked the old gentleman,
whose oliactories were saluted with the
grateful incense OF certain roasts and
broils, "there seems to be something
ready now ?"
"Oh, yes," said the clerk, "the COM
miuee Of selectmen have dinner here to-
and he hustled off in one direction,
the landlord in another, and two white
iacketed walters flew hither and thither,
impressed with the vast importance Of pro-
Viding for the six magnates who were to
honor the house BY dining there.
"Why can't l have dinner with the
committee ?" said the old gentlem an, ar
resting the clerk once more as he passed
by him. "I'm perfectly willing to pay
for all have"
"Youl Well, my old fellow, that is
COOL" said the clerk, edo you think the
selectmen would let you in to their table,"
"Stranger things have happened" was
ihe reply; Eat any rate, l. should like to
try"
"Hal hal hal" laughed the clerk
s.'couldn't think Of such thing"
The old man at this moment, however,
rs the clerk turned away, caught sight,
1hrough half.opened door, Of we'll
spread table, evidently all in readiness for
the committee, who were assembled in q
room above, and would soon be summoned
TO discuss the viands that were already
smoking upon the board. Without any
ado, therefore, he passed in, took seat,
and commended vigorous attack upon
the dish nearest him, which charced to be
an excellent pair Of roast chickens. 1t
happened that there was no person in the
room when the uninyited guest took his
seat, and the two or three servants who
came in within the next few minutes TO
place upon the table the remaining ar
ficles which were necessary, only honored
him with curious stare as they performed
their duties, while he piled :he knife and
fork with a vgor, that betokoned a
sharpeued appetite and proper appre-
citation of the excellence Of the fare before
him.
The clerk, who entered short time
after to take final glance and see that
all was right, was Mortified at the spec
tacle. "Why; you old sinner p said he,
rushing up to the object of his wrath,
who was enjoying the savory viands be-
fore him with great gusto, ,-"Gidn't tell
you this dinner was for the committee
What are you doing here2 p
"Can't you see yourself? ?" said the
old man. cutting into huge decorated
ham. "I'm having good dinner"
"Having good dinner Why you
are spelling everything" said the clerk,
aghast. at the frightful gap made by the
onslaught upon the ham.
"That's very true, young man." was
the reply, "Pm spelling my appetite also,
and if matters proceed in this manner ii
will soon be gone altogether"
The clerk, in dismay, hurried of for
The landlord, while the cause Of the
trouble continued to eat away as industri
Ously and quietly as though nothing had
happened. In a few minutes the land
lord rushed in, boiling with wrath.
GLOW dare you, sir % exclaimed that
worthy, chow dare you ?" said he, ad.
Yancing with hostile intent.
"Keep perfectly COOL" said the old
man, with dangerous look in his eye, as
he suspended operations, with a large
carving-knife upon roast turkey he was
dismem bering, I'll pay for
all l have"
"Pay for all you have r. said the land :
lord, eyeing the carving knife, "why. you
will have to pay for the whole supper -
"Very glad to do that" said the other,
resumng his knife and fork and finishing
his repast with few choice morsels.
"Yes, you shall pay for all you've de.
stroyed," said the landlord, almost
choking with rage, as his visitor coolIy
poured out glass Of wine from decan-
Ter, and noddng to him. drank it off.
"Agreed," said the other, as he wiped
MS mouth ana hngers upon napSln, and
drew a long breath of satisfaction, "and,
landlord. you say shall pay for oil l
destroy -
"That I do, and roundly, too," replied
bonface.
"We.l, then, let's have the bill for the
sum total" said the old man as he rose,
bringing up one side Of the table with him
nt the same time, and precipitating, with
n crash, the whole contents in one com.
mon pile upon the floor.
The landlord started back with horror
and dlsmay at the sight, while bis GUS
toner, coolly drawing tooth pick from
his vest pocket, exclaimed:
"Lers have the bill, landlord Don't
be frightened at a little broken crochery
Let's know the price of the supper p
The landlord, giving the wink TO his
clerk. to keep an eve on the old fellow,
md see that he did not escape, proceeded
to the office, followed by his customer
The score was soon figured up and passed
over to the old man, who stood quietly
waiting for it, with the clerk and two
walters behind him, ready to seize him al
a signal from their employer.