The Council Bluffs nonpareil. [volume] (Council Bluffs [Iowa]) 1857-1867, 1861-01-12
WHOLE NO l94.T

sS4<i1A Sne>-SSNttse
and i,Josias Cesar cleaning etoves. The
I story holds good in regard los the aighsy
i perssrases in Washington, but lhe axiom
]. does net. Men whose fame flls the land,
. when they are At hcme or snousing about
the coaatry. siak into insigni6cance when
i they get to Wnshagton. The ssn is but .
1 snaA potato in the midst Of the countless
i systems 81 the sidereal heavens. In like
!. manner, the nnaiest,e orhs Of the political
frnanene undergo cruel lessening Of di-
amster as they approach the Federal City.
I The greatest Of men ceases to DO great u
i the presence Of hundreds ef his peers, and
the multitude Of theiliastr:ous dwindle into
individual litsleness by reason Of their su-
p "a abuudance.. Aud when j, comes TO eceu.l
4 ral,ons. it will !. hardly be denied that the
1 stranger who behalds senator sscoppering
on the ace,s or aCongressman standing in
a bar-roem with a lump of mouldy cheese
in one hand aad glass Of ssrony whskey"
in the ether, or u Judge Of the Supreme
Court wriggfng sa ugly woman through the
rialeuious. movements Of the polka in .
ihotei-Parlor, must experience sensations
quite as confolnding as any Epistemon fels
in Kingdom Come. taa
i In spite of Eumherless receptions. levces.
balls, hops, parties, dinners, and other re.
unions, there is. properly speaking, NO
society in Washington. Society, such as il
is, in the metropolis, is indulsent to itself.
IL insermedi.es not, asks no impertinent
questions, aud transaets its little affairs in
perfect peace aud qaieiuae. IiS.lant as The
lnqusition in matters political, il is deaf
and blind, but not dumb, asto all others.
II dresses as il please, drinks as much as il
| chooses, eats yindiscriminately, sleeps pro-
mlscaeus!y, gets up at all hours Of the day,
and does as little work as possible. Its
| only trouble is that "ircomrasabie GRIEF"
to which Panurge was subject, aud '.which
at that time they called laos of money!" In
truth, the normal condition Of Washington
! society IS, to use a vernacuar term,
s'bustsd.s IL is not an isolated complaint.
1 Everybody is "lnsted.' No matter what
may be the state Of mans funds when he
gets 70 Washington. no matter how long be
stays or how eon he leaves, to this atustcd',,
complexion must be come a; last. lie is in
/ Rbme; he must tako tho Consequences.
Shall he insult the whole city with his sol.
vcncy? Certainly not. He abandons his
purse and his conscier cs to the madness Of
the hour, md in generou emulation Of the
prevailing rscklesSness and immortality, dis
misses every scruple and squanders his last
cent. 1h n, and not till then, does he fee!
himself nuly q Washington man, able to
look anybody in the face with the serene
pride Of an equal. and without the. .mostif-
cation Of being accused or even suspected
Of having in nil the earth dollar that hs
can call bis own. 81 easFgo
Where morals.arc. loose, pie,y is seldom
/ in excess. But there are a half-dozen of
churches in Washington, besides rreaching
erery Sunday in the House of Representa-
I tiyes.i The relative size and cost of the
| churches, as compared with the Public
Buildings. indicates the true object of wor-
ship in Washington. Strange TO say, the
! theatre is smaller than the churches. Cleri.
cal 4sI dramatic entertainments cannot
| compete With The superior attractions Of the
daily rows in Congress and the nightly orgies
at the aro-banks. Heaven is regarded No
another chihuahua or Sonora. coupled as
present by unfrieDdly Camanches, but des-
tined to be annexed some day. In the mean
time, very important election is to como
off in Connecticut or Pennsyivnnia. That
must he attended to Immediately. Such 10
piety in Washington. s..szy<..'s al v~.s 80
The list Of the unique .prodiges Of Wash.
ington 10 without limit. But maryels
heaped together cease 70 be marvellous, and
of oil plnces in the world, q museum 10 the
most tiresome. So, amid the whirl and
roar Of winter.life in Washington, when
one has no time to read write OF think, aud
scarcely time to eat, drink and sleep, when
the days fly like hours, and the brain reels
! under the excitement Of the protracted de-
bauch, life becomes an intolerable bore.
Yet the place has an intense fascination for
those who suffer most acutely frora the
4 -,
less prey and men ard women who have
lived iu Washington are seldom ;contented
elsewhere. The moths return to the fam.
ing candle until they are consumed. !.
In conclusion, it must be admitted that
/ Washington is the elysium of oddities, the
/ Limbo Of absurdities,an imbroglio Of ludi,
cious anomalies. Planned on scale Of
surprising grandeur its architectural exe..
cution is almost contemplate. Blessed with
the name Of the purest Of men, it has the
reputation Of Sodom. The scat Of the law
making power, il is the centre OF violence
and disorder, which disturb the peace and
BARN ony Of the whole Rerubhc-thsc chosen
resort for Gueling, c,apdestine marriages.,
and the most stupendous thefts. ... e.,
Its city without commerce, and with.
out manufactures; or, rather, its commerce
~ Iiilcit, uuu ItH H3hButbCtucGs ueWUsf
! papers correspondents, who weave tissues
Of fiction out Of the warp of rumor and the
web Of prevarication. Tha site of the
everything but alslucnce. It's public build.
!, iugs are splendid, its private dwellings,
J generally squalid. The houses are low, tie
rents high; the streets are broad, the cross,
J ings narrow the squares are trinpgles.
except that OF the Capitol, which Is oval $
and the water is 90 ssft that il 10 hard =
J drink it, even with the adnixture of al
chohol. --..,...a..-.. e 80.
It has M,numcn; sha. viii never be fa.
J ishsd, q Capitol that is to have a dome. 4
, Scientific Institute which does nothing but
, repor. the riee ard TAI. 81 the thsra ome eter.
and two pieces Of Equestrian Ssatuary which
! il would be o waste Of time to criticise. 10
, boasts streamiet dign,Ged, with the name
Of the river Tiber, and this streamlet is Of
the size and much the sppearance Of q vein
J in dirty mars arm. Is has cansl, bat
the canal m mnd-puddIs during one half
!, the day, and an empty ditch during ths
, other. 9 a8
: 10 spite Of the labors Of the Smithsss;sa
. Tnsiitnte, Is has 10 parsiculas weather. Il
. has the climates Of Gil parts Of ths habita~
!, bic GLOBE. IL rains, halls, snoVs, blows,
! freeze. and rnslts in Wssbiagsos, Gil lin the
: rpacs OF twenty-four hours. After . fort
: nigh. Of steady rain the sun shines out, and
: 10 half an hour thS sfrsess are fled viii
!, clouds Of dust. as, gst sasag ss#s y
: Property in Washington 10 sxessdingIy
b sensitive, the people alarmi5gly caIlous. tn
Q men are fne-looting, the women homsly,
The latter have plain facss, but magni6sesl
: busss snd graceful hgases. The fornsf hsyl
4 - imposing presence and N sopty pedk0,
q sNeat name and . smal conscispes.s Net
! s!ibssaEding all thess impsdinsnts snd de