davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1861-08-15
The Coolest Thing On Record.

As Gen. Scott's army was marching
trump hantly into the city Of Mexico,
procession of monks emerged from the
gate of convent situated on the emn-
cnce at the right, and advanced with
slow and measured tread until they met
the army at right angles. The guide
or leader of the procession was vener-
able priest whose hair was whitcned with
the frost of many winters He held in
both hands a contribution box, upon
which there was a lighted candle, and
when within few feet Of the army the
procession halted. As the army pro-
cecded, many true believer in St. Pat
rick dropped some small coin into the
old priests box. And, when it was OBJ
served that one of the soldiers was scar
ching for something to b tow. Il y
priest would step forward and hold -
box to receive the donation. Ultimately
there came along, tall, gaunt gander-
looking, limber-sided Yankee, who, on
seeing the poor priest, thrust his hands
into the very depths ofhis britches pock-
ct as if in S ch for dime, or some
thing of the ind. The priest, observ-
ing this movement, advanced, as usual,
while Jonath holding forth greasy
looking roll of paper, commenced very
deliberately unfolding it. The old priest
anticipated very liberal donation, and
put on an air of the most exquisite sat-
istaction. Jonathan continued to unroll
piece after piece of dirty paper, until at
length he found piece of tri-twiste ed
smoking tobacco. He next thrust his
hand into another pocket, and drew
forth clay pipe, which, with the utmost
delibcraion, he proceeded to fill, by
,pinching off 81 all particles of the tobac-
co. When this was done, having pla-
ccd his tobacco in his britchcs pocket
he stopped forward and lighted his pipe
by the old priests candle, and making
an awkward inclination of the head, (n-
tended perhaps for Il bow,) he said much
obleeged to yc, squire, and proceeded
Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1861-08-15
Useful Receipts.
know dat

Good for Picking Peaches and Pears.
Pare the fruit, then add one-half lb.
of sugar to every pound of fruit. Put
them in jar layer Of fruit and then
a sprinkling ofsugar, and let them stand
all night. To the juice thus expressed,
add vinegar enough to cover them, cook
short time and they are done. Spice
as you please. l learn from a German
lady Can excellent housekeeper,) that
piece of horse radish root put into the
jar with any kind of pickles, will pre-
vent any scum from rising. We have
only to try it to prove it.
Watermelon Pickles. Ten pounds of
watermelon rinds boiled in pure water
until they are tender drain the water
off, then make syrup of two pounds of
sugar, one ounce of cloves, and ono
ounce of cinnamon. The syrup to be boil
ed and poured over the melon rinds
boiling hot. Drain the syrup off and let
it come to boil, and pour it over the
melon three days in succession. The
rinds prepared in this way far surpasses
any pickle l ever tasted. 1t will keep
from one year to another.
Tomato and Onion Pickles.-To one
quart of vinegar, add half pound Of
brown sugar, half an ounce of cloves,
and one ounce of cinnamon buds. Sc
lect small onions, boil in the vinegar
three minutes, skim them off when cool,
lay them down in a crock first layer
of onions, and then tomatoes, (the small
plum tomato is the best,) and when the
vinegar is cool pour it over them, and
set in a cool place
Picked CucumberS-Wash and cover
them with cloth turn them over a
weak brine, boiling hot cover closely.
Let them remain few days, then rinse
the brine from them, and remove to cold
vinegar, with horse radish and spices to
taste keep covered closely.
Ripe Tomatoes. Pick them before
ripe enough to be soft; wash and prick
them make brine so strong 1t will not
dissolve all of the salt; boil and skim,
and when cold pour it on the tomatoes.
Let them stand eight days, pour of, and
put on weak vinegar, which let remain
the same length of time, then remove.
put on strong vinegar, and whatever
spices suit your taste tie up aud put a
way. You will have nice pickles, and
those that will keep.
Green 7omatoes.-Take tomatoes after
they have grown to their full size, and
slice them thin seald them an instant
in salted water; then lay them in a jar
with vinegar, cloves and cinnamon.
Potato Custard. Ten potatoes boiled
soft, six or eight eggs. sugar to your
taste. one cup of milk. quarter of pound
of butter, essence of lemon, brandy aud
wine to your taste.
Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1861-08-15
CONSTITUTIONAL DEBILITY.

Young men beware OF tho peTncious indul.
gence and most fatal injury you inlet upon
your constitutions, by evil examples and the
morbid influence Of the passions
How many young persons do we d"''y Deholu'
whose countenanccs and debi'itated constitutions
deuict disease arising from that horrible and de-
vastating vice.
1t could be shown how attenuation of the
Frame pal pitation Of the heart, arrangement OIL
the nervous system, cough, indigestion ana
train of symptoms, indicative OF consumption
aro often ascrbed to wrong causes, when III re-
ality, they are the consequences OF an aiiurlnS
and pernicous practice alike destructive to the
mind and body.
You who have brought this afIliction upon
yourselves, why embrace the secret to your
hearts and vainly attempt to cure yourselves,
instead of making immediate application to u
skillfull physician, who in short time, would
restore you to perfect health and save you from
exposure which the fatal Consequences render II
euvimbe.
5zs5- DR.. Smith gives his special attention to
the treatment of this destructive malady. Pa
tients can be cured mt home by addressing n let
ter to DR.. Smith, describing symptoms, and re-
coive medicine securely packed from observation
forwarded by express or otherwise to any part
Of the country.
n. B.-Persons afflicted with any of the
above com plaints will do we'll to avoid JodstinS
imp posters whether foreign or native, as also the
numerous Societies advertised as certain cure
for c, cry disease. These preparations are put
up to sell and not to cure. and often do more
harm than good, therefore avoid them.
"a word to the wise is sufficient
Address. DIR. j. Is. SMITH.
No. | , 5. Frederick Street, Baltimore, ND.
O7- No letters will be answered unless they
contain a remittance or Postage Stamp to pny
postage on the answer.
Jan. LIST. lS61.-ly.
Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1861-08-15
3yuttital.
The Soldiers Tear.

Upon the hill he turned
To take the last fond look
OF the valley and the village church,
And the cottage by the brook
He listened to the sounds
So familiar to bis ear,
And the soldier leant upon his sword
And wiped away tear.
Beside the cottage porch
A girl was on her knee;
She held aloit snowy scarf
Which huttered in the breeze;
She ireathed a prayer for him
A prayer he could not hear
But he paused to bless her, as she kDslt
And wiped away tear.
He turned and left the spot
Oh, do not deem him weak,
For dauntless was the soldiers heart,
Though tears were on his cheek.
Go watch the foremost rank
In dangers dark career
BE sure the hand most daring there
Has wiped away a tear.
Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1861-08-15
Delinquent Subscribers.

A poetical editor addresses his delnquen
subscribers in the following musical az,
touching numbers:
How happy are they
Whom the editors pay,
And have squared up for one year or more.
Tongue cannot express
The great joy of the press,
Wien delinqucnts have paid the old score,
Printers all the day long
Labor hard for a song
A fate that is hard, all agree
They have worked night and day.
And OF course WANT THEIR PAY,
To buy sugar, and coffee, and tea.
One would hardly believe
What small sums they receive
For the paper addressed to each name;
But the price is so small,
That the good people all,
WILL PAY Up FOR FEAR or THE SHAME!
Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1861-08-15
Poor Richards Almanac.

Every one speaks of poor Richard, but
few have read of him. Below we give
the cream of the whole of his wisdom--
that is to say Of Franklin's wisdom
though they were sclccted--not written
by him:
Take this remark from Richard--poor
and lame, whate'er begins in anger ends
in shame.
An egg to-day is better than hen to-
morrow.
Law, like cobwebs, catches small flies,
great ones break through before your
eyes.
If pride leads the van, poverty brings
up the rear.
God heals, and the doctors take the
fees
Mary's mouth costs her nothing, for
she naver opens it but at another's ex-
pense.
He that would live at peace and at case
must not speak all he knows, nor judge
all ne sees.
He that can travel we'll afoot keeps a
good horse:
The worst wheel of the cart makes the
most noise.
He that falls in love with himself will
have no rivals.
Against diseases here the strongest
fence is the defensive virtue, abstinence
Tart words make no friends spoon
full OF honey will catch more flies than a
gallon of vinegar.
Keep thy shop and thy shop will keep
thee
beware of little expenses; small leak
will sink great ship.
An ounce of wit that is bought is worth
Il pound that is taught.
A p poughman on his legs is higher than
gentleman on his knees
Mad kings and mad bulls are not to
be held by treaties and pack thread.
What maintains one vice will bring up
two children.
A mob's monster, head enough but
no brains.
Nothing is humber than ambition
when it is about to climb.
When prosperity was well mounted
she let 60 the bride and tumbled off the
saddle.
A change of fortune hurts a wise mar
no more than change of the moon
He that has trade has an office o.
profit and honor.
A false friend and shadow attend
only when the sun shines.
Plough deep while sluggards sleep ani
you will have cora to sell and to keep.
If you would not be forgotten as soor
as you are dead and rotten, write some
thing worth writing.
Nothing dries sooner than a tear.
Scarlet. silk and velvet have put ou
the kitchen fire.
The first mistake in public business i
the going into it.
Che i'd man is the devils hireling-
whose diet and wages are famine and dis
ease.
hings anu pears often worry thei
keepers.
He's fool who makes debtor hi
heir.
Never take wife till thou hast hous
to put her in.
Hunger never saw bad bread.
Great talker, little doers.
A rich rogue, is like fat hog, VIII
never does good till he is as dead as
dog.
Fools make feasts and wise men ca
them.
The poor have little-beggars none
) the rich too much-enough, not one.
, Mankind are very odd creatures On
half censures what they practice, the otl
5 er self practice what they censure, I'll
rest always do as they ought.
IL Old boys have their playthiugs as We
Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1861-08-15
Swearing for a Family.

Rev. r. S. Maclay, for thirteen years
missionary in China, has written a book, in
which he relates the following anecdote.-
During one of our examinations for can
didates for baptism at Ngukang, observed
that one woman and some three or four
young people had the same surname. This
circumstance led to the following conversa-
tion between myself and one of the young
men:
Il observe you all have the same surname
Are you members Of the same family?' |
enqured
Yes, one replied, this is mother, and
these are my brothers,
Where is your father?' | continueG.'
lie is at home attending to business
Does he approve of your embracing chris
tianity?'
'lle is entirely willing
why does not your father himself become
q christian?'
'He says it would not answer for all the
family to embrace christianity
and why | asked. with some curiosity,
does he think so?'
He says that if we all become christians
our heather neighbors will take advantage
of the circumstance to impose upon u.s.
How will they do that?' | enquired.
Christians are not allowed to swear ol
fight, and father says that when our wicked
ne2hbors ascertain we have embraced chris.
tianity they will proceed at once to curse
and maltreat lis. Hence father says to us.
You may all become christians, but l must
remain heather so as retaliate on our bad
neighbors. You can 30 to meeting and wor.
ship, but | must stay at home to do the
cursng and fighting for the family"
Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1861-08-15
Bit aaa 1umar.

To take out grease spots, cut them out
with scissors.
Dobbs says, of all the bad habits, smo-
king in his eyes is the worst.
Why is steel scabbard like an old
topper? Because it is hard case.
An Irishman said the only way to stop
suicide, is to make it capital offence,
punishable with death"
A suspicion is aAoat that persons who
cannot eat mince pies without brandy,
can drink brandy without mince pies.
To pull away mans seat from under
him just as he is about to sit down to
dinner, can hardly be called i-table.
An eastern cotemporary, speaking of
brother editor, says that he must be a
believer in hydropathy, for he lies in
wet sheets.
A man recently tried soft soap to
smooth the harshness Of his wife's tongue.
1t took off little of the roughness, but
made it run faster.
A bacchanalian candidate offering for
country borough in England the elec-
tors unanimously agreed that he was
very proper man to support.
Husband, l can't express my desti-
nation of your conduct We'll, dear,
Pm very glad you can't
The following regular toast was drank
at the 4th of July celebration at Bald
winsville
De as, Beauregard d Co.-A volun-
teer corps enlisted for Gen. Benedict
Arnold's division, now on duty in Hell's
back kitchen
Tom Moore compared love to pota-
to, because it shoots from the eyes,
, Or, rather exclaimed Bryon, because
it becomes less by paring.'
MA, said little girl to her mother,
do men want to get married as much as
women do 2
'Pshaw what are you talking about!'
why, ma, the women who come here
are always talking about getting married
tine men uOn = 40 SO.
When o young lady hens handker-
, chiefs for rich bachelor, she probably
scws that she may reap.
What are you about, dear 2 said his
grandmother to little boy, who was
, sliding along the room and casting fu-
gitive glances at a gentleman who was
5 paying visit.
, Il am trying, grandmama, to steal pa
pas hat out of the room, without letting
the man see it, said he pointing to the
= gentleman for papa wants him to think
, he's out =
= One Of the hardest sort Of people was
asked to subscribe to some worthy OBJ
|ject.
; L can't, he replied, I must be just
before l am generous,
WELL said the one who had made the
request, let me know just before you are
G generous, and I'll try you again
Two things made to be loss-sinnerl
and umbrellas.
Iudisputablc-the right of woman tt
bear arms.
6 '.Sambo, you fool, what makes yot
a steal after that rabbit when your gun ha!
: no lock on it?'
IS Hush hush dar; de rabbit don
q know dat!
Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1861-08-15

LOST HIS BACON. Hon. T. B. Clay,
son of Henry Clay, while endeavoring
to smuggle seve al wagon loads of ba.
con to West Tennessee, for the use Of
the rebels in that quarter, was intercept
ed by company of Union troops, who
not only seized the merchandise as con-
traband, but obliged Mr.. Clay and his
wagner to take the oath of allegiance
to the National Government.
Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1861-08-15
THE LAW or NEWSPAPERS

Ifsubscribers order the discontinuance or
heir newspapers, the publisher may continne
TO send them until all arrearageS are paid.
Ifsubscribers neglect or refuse to take their
newspapers from the Office to which they are
directed, they are held responsible until they
nave settled tho bills and ordered them discon-
linued.
If subscribers move to other places without
informing the publisher, and thenewspapersare
sent TO the former direction, they are held re-
sponsible.
The courts have decided that refusing to
take newspapers from the office, or removing,
and leaving them uncalled for, is prima tacia
Yidence of intentional fraud.
Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1861-08-15

six white stripes. The first seven stripes
(four red and three white) bound the
square of the blue field for the stars, the
stripes extending from the extremity of
the field to the end of the flag. The
eighth stripe is white, extending partly
at the base of the field. The number Of
the stars is thirty-four. THAT is to say,
will be after the coming Fourth of Ju-
IVY
Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1861-08-15
CUMBERLAND MARYLAND. THURSDAY MORNING. AUG Is, 1851

as young ones, the difference is only in
he price.
If a man could have his wishes he
would double his trouble.
Christianity com mands us to nass by
injuries; policy to let them pass by us.
If you would keep your secret from an
enemy tell it not to friend.
Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1861-08-15
Gold Discovered On Lake Supe-
riOr.

Some gentlemen were out exploring
in Ontonagon county, Wis, about twen-
ty-fve miles from Ontonagon, recently,
and discovered gold, which, upon exam
inati ion, yielded about one hundred and
thirty dollars to the ton Of rock.
Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1861-08-15

The Louisville Democrat makes the
following clear statement of a plain fact:
Secession has played its last card in
this State; it has started down hill, aud
will roll on to the bottom, Increasing its
velocity as it goes
Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1861-08-15
Termsoft6e Giui(iun C Ge(earup1.

TWO DOLLARS per annum, strictly in ad-
iance-S2.50 if not so paid and $500 if no
Daid within the year.
Those who expect to receive the CIVILIAN x
TELsGRAPH for $500 must pay invariably in
advance.
,L5-Bear in mind that no paper will be dis
ontinued untilall arrearages are paid.
Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1861-08-15
Rates Of Advertising.


sertion--subsequent insertions 25 cents each
All advertisements under 2 lines charged rs Il
square.
Business Cardsin the Directory, per anuum,
including subscription, So.
MONTHS ONE TWO THREE SIX TwELvE.
One square, 25 2 - 3 80 90 10 90
Two squares IS 90 90 Q 90 Ii 10
rhree squares,3 80 90 30 II 90 is 90
-Four squares, so 90 90 IA 90 20 90
Quarter COL, 6 o. 90 II 90 Is 90 80 90
Larger pace rorshort periods, As per agree
meut.
Advertisements before Marriages and Deaths,
10 cents per line for first insertion-sucsequent
,ls,rtions, cents per line. Nine words are
ounted as a line in advertising.
Merchants and others, advertising by the
year. will be charged ST. 00
Procce iings Of meetings not OF general
ehiracter charged at cents per line for each
insertion.
Yearly advertisers must confne theiradver-
Using to their own business.
ALL TRANSIENT ADVERTISING, outside the city
,fCum berand, cash in advance.
Persons ordering the insertion oflegaladvcr-
.isements will be held responsible for payment
for the same when the time for which they were
ordered to be inserted shall have expired.
GysoLvENT NoTcEs, cash in advance.
Patent MEpIcISEs, one halfin advance and
he balance in six months.
All. Jon Work, cash.
The losses we have sustained compel us to
adopt this course 1t will be strictly adhered
to in all cases, aud no advertisement IRON
distance will be inserted unless accompanied
hv the cash
Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1861-08-15
MEDICAL HOUSE.
II South Frederick ST.,
Baltimore, Maryland.

Established in order to afford Sound and scien
tifc Medical Aid, and for the suppression
of Quackery.
Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1861-08-15
INSOLVENT'S NOTICE.
Patent Lard Lamp.

U,HEsubscriberis is now manufacturing Patent
i Lard Lamp, which he offers for sale. twill
also burn any kind of dirty greese. Call and
examine it. nile. JOHN JOHNSON.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1861-04-22
Excitement in Cincinnati,

From the Cincinnati Free Press Of the 10Th inst
we CLEAN the following particulars Of the volun-
teer movements in that city:
The three companies of troops ordered 10 leave
this city Yesterday Orning were drilling tie en-
tire previous MI ht. In the morning, the I.afay-
cite Guards b:eakfasted ut their arinory over the
Rhine, the provisions being furnished and pre-.
pared by the friends Of the members of the COM
pany. The ROvers and Zouaves accepted the
Invitation Of the proprietors Of the Gbson n ouse
and eat hearty meal there. a large crowd as
seInbed at the Fifth street market space which
was the rendezvous Of the companies and AZ
which place they remained a few minutes per-
forming military evOlutions with great ease and
regularity.
About six O'Clock the Guthrie Grays and a nor
ton OF the COntinenta!s arrived on the ground
ana accompanied the volunteers 20 the depot
Gen. Lyle and staff commanding.
The companies are Guthrie Guards Commands
A, b and G; Company A, Continentals; LAFAYETTE
Guards, Rover Guards, and a fine Company OF
ZOuaves.
When the train started, one long and loud
shout greeted the ears Of the departing soldiers
and not a heart IN that vast assembly but envied
them their position.
The anxiety Of the people to be at the scene of
bos;ilties Is increasing, and is the more signia
cent that II breaks not forth in noise but is read
Ia every face, and CLEANS from every eve Could
tue Confsderates spend day in this CITY, thew
would no longer wonder If the pretensions of the
North Were mere bombast; they would find il no
longer safe to cherish such delusio on
Ihfse troops are probably the ones stopped at
Behwood on the Baltimore and Ohio railroad las
Friday, by order Of the Baltimore and Ohio Rail
road Company.