Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1861-02-23

Out III iu9nbrlouS tones the paragraphs
OF purlolned sermon, and addresses
the ''throne Of grace, in a style pecu-
llarly his own!
At another point, finding the game
TO be pIucked, he plays euchre-what-
ever ttthat is-for 'SIittle loose change. %
/ II'n,&%z world is his country-he b1sks
in the sunlight OF every climate. The
bones Of his comrades wnitcsi alike the
/ plains Of Mexico, the hillsides OF the
! Crinea, ana tng barren wastes OF tie
| Arabian desests.
This is hardly a fancy sketch.
"YE Local"
! Next comes "Ye Local. He is an
Indispensable adjunct to every we'll
conducted newspaper. Every body
/ knows him.
Ii my rural friend comes to town, he
''sees him." H. is standing on the
street corner. lie meets hIm on the
pavem ent, possibly with a bill for col
lection!
"Ye Local' is ubiquitous.
II DItchman drinks forty glasses
oflager at q sitting, ''ye locaI' sees it
done, and heLp5 do 1t. If a plug muss
| occur at midnight, he is certain to be
present, and, ten to one, he has a
| black eye for the next week. II a man
has the bad luck to be murdered, the
''loaal,, is the principal witness and if
there is an elop@nent in high life, you
may be sure that he is at the bottom
Of it, for the sake Of getting a good
Item
H. attends the first and the last ball
Of the season. lie never gets home
tiH morning, and then he takes the
girls with han. IL IS the chroni cler
Of the occasion, and Of every other
occasion.
IL renders extraordinary services
to those who get into his good graccs-
h02c they get there's nobody's business.
IL makes al cable anl entertaining"
lecture out Of an irregular grouping of
"StaIe, flat and Improbable" ideas; a
''gtaceful dunseuse' out Of large
| limDed damsel who would disgrace d
pete Williams hoe-dawn;" and q
"mclodious bird-yoiced songstress"
out Of a croakjng, braying old "cam-
paigner." H. puts the bad English Of
the public speaker into proper shape,
anl secures for him fame and renown
which he would never enjoy through
his own merits.
We will drop the curtain on eye
local"
T'.rE Cn--<-rpv Nr,yso,p,,o
Let us glance at the "Country
Newspaper" 1t is located at some
.'cross-roads," :" or ''four-corncrs." The
oiicc is srrrounded by s'tavern," q
'>tore," ''church ediice," ANA a
''schoOl house" The editor, the squire,
the postmaster and the schooimaSter,
are the only men Of function in TOWN.
The newspaper is seyen-by-ninc in size
very much larger than that in pre-
tension! Us col luctor ~-a5sisted by
the ID 4yiI'' to whom have REFERRED
"steal3" his own ''editorials," )" cabbages
his ''oclginaI' items, p uts them in type,
works them off on the Old wooden
pseSs, (the '.DeviT' blacking the types
as his great exenplar blacks the cAar-
acter OF men,) distributes his papers
; o his subscribers, AMI frequently has
to pay their subscriptions oUt Of his
o,cn pockets. Besides this he Frequent
Iy serves as mayor, or magistrate; proc
tees law in 4 style that seldom ''mlkeS
, perfect;" breaches occaSlonIy, ect3rt5
frequently, and sometimes elopes with
; another man's wife. The ''circ aIation'
Of the country newspaper IS always
s:one thousand'-never more nor less
Counting five persons to the family OF
each subscriber and ten neighbors whc
j.. regularly borrowed each paper, the ed
itor glories ''in type" over bis ''fifteer
) thousand readers !'' The country ed
! itor has but one riyal-ard this riva
) is, the town gossip. If she obtain pos
D session Of an stem" there IS no occa
5 sion for the editors publishing it, Hi:
V ::fftecn thousand readers are all post
+ ed before the day Of publication come:
round. She is the best person in th'
. world to keep secret, if one is no
$ particular how its Kept. If she find
e herself incompetent to keep one, sh
/ initiates the sagaclous son Of Erin
|! who, having contided to him a Yer,
i important matter, found hlmselfunabl
5 to smother it within his bosom, ant
: '<be .iabers, he gave it to one VIII
f could kapc it," And the recipient Q
: me secret likewise confded it to a.
r, other, until it took the entire commu
niry to keep it, and they Kept 1t moe
t i1agi And your town SGss.y ,, ~, .S o., ,s ',,'(
5 AtIc as Canada thistle or-Onee
o Victoria This sort of competitio,
a annoys the country editor exceedingly
and II, on some oc easion Of extraordi