The south-western. [volume] (Shreveport, La.) 1852-1870, 1861-02-20
JAMES II. CHAMBERS
On Conrtship.

cred by both sexes in too trivial light Men think
that they have nothing to do nths season but enaeaVo
to please their stresses by aduaton and presentsand
women fancy it sort Of honor to have lover and tee
nriie in having at their command one who processes
to devote himself TO their service. In courtShip Is
oreduently noticed that both parties strive toappear
what they really are not With what studous care 40
they conceal their evil tempers, their bemshes IN ch
acter their state their fortune, etc but after marriage
the dark veil of deceit is thrown aside. Then DO the
air exhibit themselves in their natural character; and
they find too late aas that they not fitted as COM
panions and friends for each other Now is their late
fixed, and wretched must they both be- What folly,
then is it to practice deception in the most important
affair Of life and the most critical period, the court
ing days. How much mar our happiness both pres
ent and future by artful connyance Can we murmur,
if after the deceit have used towards another we are
unhappy when united Our present comforts must be
in hourly danger of interruption destruction by the
accidental BETRAYAL of our natural selvesa revelation
which we cannot with all precautions avoid or long
Why, then, do people make themselves
miserable now and set seal for continuation oil that
misery yea 'unto their lives end?' To remedy the eX
sting evils of courtshp, shall give little advice to
each relative to more rational conduct beng carried
on between them.
To the male sex saw benot too hasty in your choice
nor in your avowal of your preference Do not pay
your addresses girl merely because she Is pretty
sings and plays well, or because she IS chatty ana
agreeable company. party is not the best place to
the best smiles and dresses and all amer OF course,
are everything amable Costly jewels are przcd-are
considered beautiful and valuable; therefore, those vino
have not the real initiate itwear an imitation because
they love to be thought to possess beauty and value
So virtue is of famed beauty and vaiue and those who
have it not put on the scmbance ofimatatlTe virtue
Judge not therefore, of the girl wife in mixed
assembly; watch her at home mark her behavior TO-
wards her friends and her relatives well as to sran-
gers, Singing, dancing, and such like assiduou5 adj
vatages are not alone sufficient qualifications Tor 9ood
wife; for, whatever charm accomplishments lend to
female and however angelic" they may render her IN
the ewes of strangers ephemeral admirers, these
be all her angelic appearance will soon vanish when
She is married But let her heart be good she is still
an angel in a husbands eyes though she be his wife
Neither can help being fascinated by aper
sonor when the sexes meet under favorable crcumstan
cesa bah or rpSrty-thc Judgment is liable for time to
be warped. Everything fairy aspect; the i'm
aginatOu sees naught but love and beauty ahtfWe Fe
in an ideal world call these circumstances aYorable
not to sober and right view OF love- but to the ieeng
of fascination which bythc-by, is often mistaken Tor
love II it be love- it Is that wears double wings
and is constantly fitting about to an kinds OF flowers
never STAYS long one for the beauty OF appear
ance only attracts it, it finds many such syphs on which
to feed its Imagination. This feeling OF fascination IS
peculiar to the male sex. Females sometimes err
on this point though not commonly. 1t IS not so
usual as in the other But sometimes girl meets
young at friends house, and on herreturn home
she thinks Of the many soft things he said to her: lie
is handsone-very agreeable; 50 complimentary what
a love of creature! | must be in love with him. How
proud | should be of such tall handsome man for a
beau How all the girls would envy mel This IS the
private soloquy of the silly, fascinated girl And upon
the mistake Of fascination for love rests the many uI-
happy marriages we witness.
! Courshp IS too often begun on 4 wrong basis. We
shroud the object Of our affections with supernatural
beauty and then when Imagination Is surelted and
lap yyp the detects
the creature efselr (ancied) love- The truth Is, the
person is the saH. It's the Imagination having flown
which enables US 60 the reality. Courtshplsa sea
son when the Imagination generally has full sway Ko-
nance, poetry idleness and ali the fairy dreams OF
elysium reyel in unrestricted intoxcaton. The rea
ties of marriage never enter the heads of the young
couple the thought OF OF family, the duties OF
4 matrimonv are dull, unwecome IDEAS and II they dc
just enter the portal of the mind, they are speedily
sent away With $50 away this time; when have
convenient sea on will send for thee What do the
enchanted pair think OF such things or rather nonenti
ties as bany signs ssnecks of pearl and all sucl
elegant nonsense? l would strongly advise both seXe
beware of indugng in this poetic feeling tqT 1t VII
aSsuredy prove fatal to the happiness OF both parte
when united. For the ensurement of permanent happl
ness as far as It rests with the couple themselves
would recommend the following proceedings IN TIN
Search for wife" To the male then:-H you arr
I pleased with girl, if you unaequained with he
more than an accidental acquaintance at house, en-
QeGNOr TO introduced Us FlGlu W dLC ~
giving hint CT your motive When this Is gained
whenever YOU 20, watch her we'll unobserTed as yot
can make it, converse with her sensible SUBJECTS Try
if there intelligence in her mind but above all notice
the sentiments of her heart; to this purpose converse
also upon humanity in general, dlstFeSses errors OIL
scandal etc. and whether not she possesses anna
ble feelings Give her NO suspicion, YOU can avodt
Of your penchan for her lest she should indulge II
love for YOU and you being Disappointed in her DISPOSE
ton leave her to sorrow. 1t would be well to take
books or something to the family lending anything on
an excuse for going to the house will be preferable
that your conduct may be bamelcss as touching youl
scrupuous regard for the delicate feelings Of women
OF course you will not expect to find perfection III tho
being YOU are examining but leaving the little faults
behind look for the essentials To the friend and part
ner for life think, often too hasty IN making
known their intentions of love; they request to be al
lowed to visit for the very purpose Of seeing each other
disposition in regard future union, or they at oncC
beg to be permitted pay their addresses The conse
auence perhaps is that the finds she is not at al
fitted to make him happy that there is no congenalit,
Of sentiment or opinionat all IN conversation and topic
not belonging to love. He is then doomed to elthc
suffer the lisgrtce Of being called and hought dsEon
orable for leaving her or make himself miserable TO
life by marrying her besides, perhaps, having ga'net
the affections of the girl by his attentions, drumming
the risk of cruelty breaking her heart by breaking OF
his addresses. Avoid these evil consequences by no
being attentive all (any than common potencs
demandsl till you have found out that YOU are sultei
each other; that your disposition in some measure
in unison at least sufficient for happiness pertec
uuon Of opinions and sentiments is not to bc met witt
in reality though some people in the world pretend
agree to everything their companion does such hay
either no notion at all Of their are acting par
for the sake of compaisance and agreeabity utpoltc
ness ought never to overcome honesty Donot proies
to visit as lover or even friend to her but as airicn
to the family until you satisfied with your researches
1t NAV appear foolish some, for person gravey
write such detailed account of what the lover ou9h
to do and entering into such little things but hoy
much unhappness is caused by not attending to thes
itte things" and how few notice or think of then
Then is it not necessary to point them out, to give
stimulus to observe what is usually thought OF little
no Importance but which is the basis of miserR Surel
it is When you do address yourself to the woman W
love- do not fill her mind with empty and vain eftision
A woman of sense viii dislike much tummery and
she be not a woman of some scase, she is not wort
having q always suspect the durability of that lov
which indpges in enthusiastic expressions. Itooks k
mere impulse, whose foundation falls away, an
with it the temple which it was buIt) When 70
are the Acknowledged lover of woman venture, whe
necessary advise her. Act afcetonae frient
not love-sick fool BE assured if she will not tax
your advice Il mean, is angry atts being given} 81
will be petuent and peryerse when married. for tt
lover has right to advise brother; and if he hay
right and real affection he will do it when proper