The weekly Butte record., 1861-12-21
ddeeklp Retorb
Austin E. Smith and Calhoun Benham.
sCENE-FoRT LAFAYETTE.

fish bone. Halo, Benham by the immortal
gods, have the darned Yankees nabbed you
too ?"
BENHAN-" Yes stree bob we are nabbin-
gers"
SMITH" Have the accursed abolitionlsts
taken California ?"
BEsHAM-" You bet root stem and branch;
not Chiv left in Office, only old Snowden in
State Prison as warden, few notaries, and
here and there renegade son of South Caro-
lima keeps in by taking the outh.'
SMITH" Where's old Gwin?"
BENHAM-" In No go; captured with me;
brought in irons from Panama by Gen. Sum-
ner"
SMITH" Taken in New Granada? Hea-
vens, won't that Government raise row for
thus invading its SOIL insulting its sovereignty
and disgracing its flag ?"
BEYHAM-" What can that onehorse repub
lie do but submit to the insolent domination of
this Abolition Government. l say, Austin,
how do you feed ?"
SMITH" Mackerel and brown bread for my
breakfast confsh and beans for dinner pork
and melons for supper; the Bible and Watts
by me for library killing bed bugs for exer-
cise"
BENHAM-" No whisky no cards?"
SMITH," All rational amusements forbid
den all news excluded Have our folks taken
Washington YETI"
BESHAM-" Taken hell I expect the ID
Yankees have taken Charleston, captured Sa-
vannah and seized Hatteras. Kentucky is
loyal North Carolina is shaky Maryland
and Delaware stick to the North the whole
coast is blockaded Mason and Slidell taken
captive, and the devil to pay generally. Price
is driven out of Missouri, and 10000 troops at
Beaufort in South Carolina
SMITH say, Benham, we are in luck
no danger in Fort Lafayette and when the
war is over we can brag what we would nave
done, you know"
BENHAM-"' 1t is reported South Carolina
will raise the Black Flag and hang Yankees
and that Lincoln will in return hang prisoners
two for one.'
SMI1n-" That is refreshing news, by the
gods-for if there is anything in the world |
have fixed principles in, it is my opposition to
capital punishment Damn South Carolina
That is carrying the joke little too far And
what makes it so much worse is hanging two
Chivs for one Yank that's q id swindle
on the part of the Yanks. 1 say, Benham,
you had better cut your hair there's lice in
this Internal den. By the way, Benham, did
you stop to cut grass in the streets of the city
of New York? ?"
BENHAM-" Hadn't time the pauper prole
tartan manufacturing population of that city
have ruined the crop by marching troops over
it and all the ships that ought by my proph-
esy to have been rotting at Northern wharves
are now blockading Southern ports"
SMITH" Can't you give me a shirt, Ben
ham,"
BENHAM-" No; I've got it on. San
Francisco News Letter
ANDERSON, the wizard, and very poor
wizard he was, met Yankee who stole
march on him after the following pattern -
Enter Yankee
I" 1 say; you Professar Anderson p
Yes, sir, at your service"
"Wa'al you're tarnation smart man, and
I'm sumthin at trick too, kinder cute tue,
you know"
"Ah indeed and what tricks are you up
to, ?" asked the professor, amused at the
simple fellow.
~Waal, can take red cent and change
it into ten dolar-gold piece"
"Oh, that's mere slght-ofhand trick l
can do that too.''
:" No you can't. I'd like to see you try"
Why, hold cut your hand with cent in
it."
Yankee stretched out his paw with red
lying on it.
"This is your CENT is it, sure ?"
80 It's nothin' else."
Hold on to it tight-PREsro change
now open your hand.'
Yankee opened bis fist, and there was gold
eagle shining in his palm.
"Wa'al, you did it, declare much obliged
tew you," and Jonathan turned to go out.
"Stay,'' said the professor, " Y You may leave
my ten dollars
Yourn! want it MY cent? and didn't you
turn it into this ere yaller thing, eh? Good
by p and as he left the room be was heard to
say, guess there amt anything green about
this child"
THE tree of liberty rears itself with indepen-
dent grandeur and graciously fills the world
with its odor, while its branches, streaming
magni6eently towards heaven, make it appear
as if the stars were only the golden fruit of its
Yondrous limbs.
A COMMISSION merchant of Chicago recently
found pair of strange boots and suit of
regimentals under his bed-and worse to tell,
there was man in them.