Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1861-05-29
STORY WITH SPICE INIT.

Land" of young man who had just entered
| into the silken bonds of matrimony. His wife,
most amiable creature, had a mortal hatred
| of liquor; and though Tom often INDUCED, on
the sly, with his convivial companions, he took
care always to be right side up'' on going
home He would not have his wife find him
| in such state for all the gold in the universe;
and yet he could not sign the pledge Of total
abstinence, from the fact of being the vice
president of club Of jolly fellows, all of whom
believed in grape juice. For at least six
months after his marriage, in the presence of
his better-half, he was as "straight as pin, "
and she had set it down that blessing in the
shape of a strictly sober husband had fortu-
nately fallen to her lot.
Tom" said she, lovingly, one morning,
| "we have now been a welded couple half a
year, and never once have had the slightest
| occasion to reproach you"
Of course Tom was delighted to hear his
little wife talk so enoouragingly, and he re-
peated the assurance of his determination al
ways to be an attentive and sober husband
| But in the ocean of life how little we can
| fOresee the breakers of temptation Tom had
| to dine that very evening with the "Owls, -
| (the ornithological title Of his club,) and he
| felt in admirable spirits, and his health was
| drank warmly and frequently after removal
OF the cloth. The consequence was, that by
the time the company had separated, he was
in happy state of elevation, with vivid
| notion OF men, women, and all things terres-
| trial.
"Hic-c-c, really blieve I'm drunk" So
| liloquized Tom, poisiDg himself on his heels,
with his arms clasped around a lamp post,
| "W-w-hat th-the d-devil's to be done? Am 1
d-dreaming, or am drunk-whch is it Will
| somebody tell me?"
Aknot ofwags, passing at the moment, hear
| ing his voice, roared in combined tones:
You're drunk-beastIy DRINK -
There, now, it's out, and no more than l
| s-sus- s-pected," continued Tom, mournfuly, in
| maudlin voice "What will Clara say? ugh
Curse the last julep, say; if it had not been
! for that should have passed muster, but now
| she can tell it by my eyes. feel as if had a
dozen pair of eyes; as for ton-tongues, I've got
| score, all wsgging away for dear life =
Tom here losing proper and important
equilibrium, his heels suddenly few higher in
the air than is necessary for every day cases of
pedestrianism, and, par consequence, he was
the next moment in most upgraceful position
in the gutter.
4" Hic, hc, this is rich, 1 must say. Suppose
Clara should s-see me now. Twas only to-day
she praised my integrity. Tom, you re BIB
yes you are; so don't deny it-you're a beast,''
By dint Of a series Of vast efforts he succeed
cd In gaining his feet, and proceeded towards
home, reeling and talking to himself all the
way. After mistaking the house next door
the front door of which was the same-for bis
own, he had an undecided search of at least an
hour for his latch-key, which he at length
found in bis boot, it having slipped down his
trousers leg through hsle in his pocket
Now in the hall, he leaned up against the
wall and undertook a cogitati0n. He could
sufficiently gather his senses to remember that
the clock in his wife's room was out of repair,
and, as she had retired, she would not be able
to know the time he got in. This was grand
point gained. y know what I'll do; I'll go
to bed in the dark, and then she won't notice
my eyes" ruminated Tom. "But hold on,
she'll smell m-my breath; how can 1 fix
that?"
He puzzled for few moments and in the end
concluded to seek the kitchen and meddIe
slightly with the spice box. Down the stone
stairs he went, and after putting his hand into
half dozen various fluids, feeling into a row
OF pans, jugs and dishes, at length he found a
! handful of cloves, which he thrust into his
mouth as if they had been so many sugar plums
"Th-they're devilish hot" spluttered Tom,
with his face all aglow, "but they answer the
purpose. How l wish Bob Styles was here to
tell me whether the brandy is sufficiently dis
guised."
Satisfied that the fragrance of the cloves had
| Out-Odored the scent of the ardent he mounted
the stairs, and with the exception of a couple of
| small tumbles, gained his bedroom ch ami ber in
safety. Now he would have been happy had
"Why, Thomas, how late you are,'' said
| she; "where is the candle''
"Oh, never mind the candle" said he, in as
| steady tone as he could command; Its not
late.n
- should judge it was very late, +" said she.
"Dear me, l must have that clock fixed with
out delay"
"Y-e-s, so we must" said Tom, with miracu-
lous deliberatiOn; for one solitary hiccup would
have betrayed him. As to the clocks uncer-
tain condition, it was phenomenon of good
| luck for him.
does it look like rain, dear?" kindly in
quired Clara.
Now had Tom been pat on his oath he could
| no more have answered correctly, in regard to
the appearance Of the weather, than the man
in the moon, and not half so much; for it is fa
to suppose that if there be a man in the moon,
he is not addicted to the practice of drinking,
| and, therefore, keeps a bright lookout for
| things below. He replied gradually:
| Pom my word L don't know, but I'll look y
| Feeling his way to the window, he threw aside
| the curtains, and bar of pale starlight threw
| itself Immediately on his wifes face "Clear
as crystal, you perceive, dear" and down went
the curtain again.
Clara was very thoughtful and affectionate,
and suggested that if the curtain was kept up
he could see his way better about the room
| No, no, dear" replied Tom, very slowly
| II have heard that starlight produces lunacy
after"-midnight he was about to say, but
caught himself dexterously, considering his
situation-"and that Is dreadful, you know"
| Tom made several stumbles after this, and
| presently his wife caught Whit of the cloves
| GOOD gracious, Tom, how long you are, and
how dreadfully You smell Of cloves"
| "Eh ?" said Tom, starting, "c-lo-v-e-s?" ?"
| eyes, cloves; any enc would think you had
been embslmed like a mummy"
This made him twitcA and 90 wool gathering
"Phew. you are regularly scented witt
them. Where have you been tonight"
Tom was thrown entirely off his guard hi
brain rambled, and, without the remotest ides
of what he was saying, replied
"W-h-y-hic-Clara the fact is, I have Jus
been on a little trip to the East Indies, anc
while was there fell over spice box.''