The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1861-04-04
WHEAT NOT?
1. f. BAILY.

7 erribly PursenaI-An Empty Wallet,
Military mechanics Drills are Bores
The chasm that swallows up Wit Sarcasm
Naturally the dog wood tree is a "barker."
The song of the new state of things Hal
! Columbiads.
Motto for tho corn -gatherors-"L Lend me
! your ears"
A game once in favor Of the Spanish inquisi-
sition-Rack it,
Pedog ogue's maxim-A switch in time saves
nine.
England'is the tin plate manufacturer for the
whole world.
Fresh rolls every morning--rolling to the
other side of the bed for fresh snooze.
Two emotions, says Barey. fear and anger, a
horseman should never feel.
Would it be an improperly to tell fireman
to g go to blazes ?"
1t has been remarked by an old practitioner
that mutes never stammer.
Bad Kind Of Artificial FIowors-The roses
on most Of our city bellies cheeks.
Natural Resort Of the Poor and Lonely-a
loan office
Counterfeit (Friend) Detector-Adversity or
Prosperity.
The Bottle employed by Temperance Reform
ers-Ihe Ink Bottle,
Uphill Work-Recoyering from severe at
! tack of sickness.
Good Lunch Place for Sailors--The Sandwich
Islands.
Piping Times Of Peaco"-Indjals smoking
the calumet
The first human sin was improper indulgence
in eating, and it has been one OF the chief sins
leyersince.
One Of the b'hoys who runs with engine nun
Der T63, calls 9 frozen hydrant san all fired nui-
sance.
A lady friend of ours, who lately narrowly
escaped burning to death from camphene, has
chustened it camfend.
It has been proposed that street inspectors
be appointed monthly, on the principle that
new brooms sweep clean"
To Young Ladies--The way to "stick' your
father is to make him increase your allowance
OF pin money"
Yankee proves the English to be slow
people. As a nation" he says, they 60 in
| for 'arf and 'arf measures"
It costs the city of New Orleans nearly three
millions of dollars annually to support It's mu-
nicipal government.
More than thouaand years, ago the Chinese
bull suspension bridges of more than four hun
dred feet span.
g8- Foreign goods, duty free, imported by
way OF New Orleans, have been received within
few days past by Chicago merchants.
At recent snow shoe race in Montreal, in
which mostly Indians were engaged, four mile;
were run in little short of half an hour
Greek coins have been found in England
within short period-supposed to have beer
brought there by the Romans.
An angry fellow who recently undertook t,
acet5 cobbler got footed for his pains. He &C
bnowledged the corn, likewise that he was reg
uiarlY sold.
An old topper in discussion with a tempe
rance lecturer, triumphantly asked, +" if waite
rots yonr boots, what effect must it have on tht
coats OF your stomach ??
Boggs hired nurse the other day, and sh
turned out to be a complete drunkard. lie dis
charged her on the ground that he wanted
acct nurse, and she was always dry,
BlOndin perpetrated good joke the othe
day. Seeing an advertisement in the paper TO
steady man IN the rope trade" he sent
letter to know if he would answer
Bad luck is simply man with his hands il
his pockets and his pipe in his mouth, lookn
on 10 see how it viii come cut Good luck is
man with his sleeves rolled up,w0rling to max
it come out right.
A little girl having got over the bannister i
a public school house, and being unable to II
gain her position, began to cry. Help her
said person passing by, " she viii fall he'll
her" I" Yes" said another, Help'er-th
impending cry-sis."
People who seem to enjoy their i'll tempe
have way Of keeping it in fine condition b
inhicting privalons on themselves. That wa
Mrs. Glegg's way she made her tea weakt
than usual, and declined butter
A beautiful day, Mr. jenkins" d" Yes, yer
pleasant, indeed Good day for the race
as Race-what race ~ "The human race" 90
so along with your stupid jokes; get up goc
one like the one with which sold Day" "Da
what Day ?" The day we eelebrate,r sal
= Jenkins, who went on his way rejoicing,
A Massachusetts paper says that g. wifi
fourteen gears OF age, not long since applied TO
court Of that State, after months trial Of ma
- nmony on the ground that she was too youn
and wanted to be back with her mother, an
that the court heard and granted her praye
-s e.