The Oxford intelligencer., 1861-05-29
NUMBER 81.
sCRAPs.

.e
or what color is grass when covered with
snowi Invisible green.
Wanted to know-Whether the volume OF
sound has yet been found.
Who is very unpopular officer with some Of
the ladicsl General Housework-
Let friendship creep gently to height if It
rush to it 1t may soon run itself out Of breath.
hack driver up town, plays so swcetiy on
the bugle that his wife saves the notes for sugar
'Tm having a change Of air, = 40 Mr.. jenkins,
the city broker, said when he put on a new wig.
Are ladies unaware, WHEN stepping into a car
risgc. or an omnibua Of the hfelocs' in thc
wheels
Men who endcavor to look fercely by cuitiva- +.
ting profuse whiskers, must be har-emscarcm
fellows.
! The CANSIBALi--A man adycrtises in Porgh
kcepsi.c Paper' "jIanted, a middle ard wOmaa
10 cook"
4 solar eclipse remihds us Of Jacks last
thrashng by his father-it is hiding of the
sun (son.)
The strongest kind Of hint. lady asking
n gentleman to see if her ring will go on his lit,
tie finger.
A wit once described SOUP vh;eh he had
tasted as 'lukewarm water, which the shadow
of a COW had crossed"
QUESTION ron AcToas. man lie said to
work when he plays, or to be sound man when
he is continually in piecesY
lady must think she .has something valua-
BILE in her head, if we may judge from the num-
Der Of locks she keeps upon it.
Estimating the amsiint of blood in the human
body at twenty four pounds, twelve pounds pass
through the heart every minute.
The Quantity OF cqtBonie acid gas locked up
in every cubic yard Of Emestone, has been est
mated at ten Thousand cubic feet
very pious old gentleman told his sons mot
to 20, under any circumstances, fishing on tho
Sabbath brt if they did, by all means to bring
home the fish,"
An editor acknowledges the receipt of bot,
tie Of brandy foriy-cight years old, and says:--
This brandy Is so old, we fea? it cannot ike
much longer"
Lincoln employs hs troops in rcpairsc. tho
railroads in Maryland A very wise precaution,
as their principal employment will consist IN
making tracks,
"You dentist, Bobs did not know yod
were in that trade" yes" said Bob. -"I fol-
low no other business but setting tceth-n beef
potatoes bread and sicl like"
Pleasant enough was the lnagnanimity of the
person who, being rcproachcd with not aveng,
ing himself FOR d Gaming, said "Sir, I never
meddlc with what passes behind my back"
The love of truth is roo. To all the charities
The tree which grows from it may have thou
sands Of distinct and diyeTging branches, but
good and generous fruit will be on them all.
Jones and Brown met at the Post.ofIice-
Jones complains Of bad smell about the Office,
and asks Brown what it can be9 Brown does
not know unless il may be the large number Of
dead letters.
A medical man asked his legal adviser how
he could punish servant who had stolen can.
lister Of valuable snuff II am. not aware of
any act" said the lawyer, that makes it penal
to take snuff"
There is story of Henri Quare who, on be-
ing told by his gardener at Fontainbleay, that a
certain plot Of ground would grow nothing, told
him to plant bed Of attorneys, for they would
flourish anywhere.
"There is no peace on this side Of the grave"
said clergyman, when preaching at the grave
of friend, "Well, old chap" said jolly jack
tar, you can come over on this side; we are
quiet enough here" :,
A.young lady, Miss Teona Neville, has joiped
the Monroe Rifles of New Orleans. a Formal
reception Of her by the company took place last
Wednesday. Her given name indicates her spir.
it. She is to act as nurse 10 the company, and
is described as very pretty heroine.
CAMPnoR AND FLowERs-Two or three drops
of saturated solution of eamphor and alcohol
put into hall. an ounce Of soft water, forms
mixture which will revive flowers that have be-
gun to droop and wilt, and give chem freshness
for long time. Let the fair ladies, whose most
appropriate sphere is among the flowers, try the
experiment.
WHAT Pic DID.-By the disobedence of a
lad in 1909, garden gate in Rhode Island was
LEFT open, and pig got in and destroyed few
plants a quarrel between the owners of tho
garden and pig grew out Of It, which spread
among their friends. defeated the federal candi-
date for the Legislature, and gave the State a
Democratic Senator. by whose vote war was de-
clared, 1912, with Great Britain.
Proc1rc large sponge wash It we'll and press
it dry, which will leave the cells quite Open
Then sprinkle over it some fine white sugar and
place it near where the ants are most trouble
some. They will soon collect upon the sponge
and take up their abode in the cell. II is then
only necessary to dip the sponge in scalding
water. Put on more sugar, and set the trap for
new haul This process will soon clear the
house Of every ant, uncle and progeny.
There is much truth in the following remarks
Of Addison: Il have found that the men who
are really the most fond Of the ladies-who cher
ish for them the highest rcspect-arc- seldom,
the most popular Of the sex. Men Of great as.
surance-whose tongues are light hung-who
make words supply the place Of ideas, and place
compliment in the room Of sentiment, are their
lavorites. Areal. respectful action toward them.
is mistaken by them for neglect or want oflove."
THE "LIruE GIAST" TO FAKE THE FIrD-
The indiana Sentinel hears It stated 10y those
whose Information IS entitled to respect that the
Hon. Stephen a. Douglas will be appointed Lieu
tenant General by President Lincoln In xiew.
Of this announcement, we may as ws1IHssd that
Senator Nigiali Is TO command a rstlfI;ent AZ =
thousand picked men, selected from the whole
Southern army. no man IN tlle,reginent to weigh
under one hundred and seventy pounds or be-
under six feet high, or over thirty-six wears of
age. Each man win be armed with AN Enfield
rife, two Navy fevolvers, and six pound bowie
knife
How TO GUAED AGAIxsT JHE HEAT.-As the
hat rf Etl,ft---. = :. 1. r