Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1861-10-25
A Fable for the Times.

hels entitled " TIE wormwocd Cordial OF
History" with the following table, which
Is respectfully dedicated to the Southern
Plebs, who. under the lead OF their +" Pa,r,.
clan " masters, have " seeded" like their
predecessors in the day. Of Menenius Asrip.
pa;
Once on time a mu,iny arose among
the teeth Of awpr,hy man, In good health
aud blessed with a sound constitution, com.
monty known as Uncle samuel The cut.
ting teeth. or iaasors. and the eye-,eeth. or
cannes, though not nearly 50 many, all
counted, nor 50 large, nor 20 strong as the
grinders. and by no means - white, but, on
the contrary, very much discolored. began
to End fault with the grinders as no, good
company enough for them. The eyc-iecth.
being very sharp and fitted for .cirins and
tearing, and standing on, taller than the
rv.,. claimed to lead them. Presently, one
Of them complained that !, aohed very bad.
ly. aud then another and another. Very
soon the cutting teeth, which pretended
they were .orplied by the same nerve. and
were proud oft, began to ache also. They
all agreed that il va. the fault Of the grind
er,.
About thi. time. Uncle Samuel. having
used hi. old toothbrush (Which was never
good one, having no stiffness in the
bri.,lc-) flr four years, took new one. re
commented to him By a erea, number Of
people as bomely, bu, useful article.
Thcreupon all the front teeth, one after On.
other. declared that Uncle Samuel meant TO
scour them white, which wa. thing they
would never submi, to, though the whole
civilized world was calling on ,hom 20 do 30.
30 they all insisted on getting ou, Of the
sockets in which they bad grown and stood
Tor 30 many years. But the wisiom'teeth
spoke up Tor the others and said
Nay. there is but twelve Of you front.
teeth. and there be twenty OF US srinders.
We are the strongest, and good deal near
est the muscles aud the join,, bu, We cannot
spare you. We have put up with your
blark stains. your jumping aches. and your
snappish locks, and now We are not going
70 let you 20, under the pre,encs that You
are 70 b. scrubbed white. II you stay. You
don't work half - hard a. ~ DO, bu, you
can bite the food well enough. which We eau
grind - much better than you. We belong
to each other. You must stay.
Tbcreupon the front teeth, Gre, the ca.
mines or dog teeth, next ,b- ineisors or cut.
ting teeth. proceeded to declare themselves
out OF their sockets, and no longer belong
ins to the jaw. Of Uncle samuel.
Then Unele samuel arose IN bis wrath
and .hu, hi, jaw. tightly together, and swore
that he would keep them shut tall those ach.
ins aud di.colored teeth ofLl. wsn, TO pieces
in their sockets, II neei were. rather than
have them drawn, standing. a. .ome Of them
did. a, the very opening Of hi, thrOa, and
stomach.
And now. IL you will please TO observe.
all those teeth are beginning to ache worse
than ever. and 10 decay 'ery fast. - that 1t
will take grea, deal Of gold to stop the
holes that are forming in ,hem. But the
grinders are as sound as ever, and will re-
main - until Uucle samuel thinks th- time
la. come for opening his mouth. In the
mean time they keep on grinding in a quiet
way. though the Others have had to stop
biting Cor long tune. When Uncle sam
uel opens bis mouth, they will be a' ready
ior work a. ever bu, those poor discolorod
teeth will be tender for IA great while, and
never be 30 strong az they were before they
iool,.hly declared thensslye. out Of their
sockets"