The weekly Butte record., 1861-02-09
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4 Newspaper Story.

Somlellow-a collector for a newspaper and
other periodicals. threw up his commits
sion, and sent back the unpaid accounts with
notes" which the spirit happened TO lay hold
on, and they were presented in a tangible
shape to the world. As they are living pic
lures, met with here and elsewhere, we make
extracts. The collector says:
To the Edtor-Sr :-Yo ou furnished me as
l recollect, with list of one hundred and sew
enteen owing subscribers. l have called on
one hundred and four of them, and have the
honor of paying to your order three dollar and
twelve and one half cents, being the amount
to which you are entitled. | return you the
list numbered from one to one hundred and
sixteen, and now give the reply TO each:
No. lis minister. He says in the first
place he never got one-half the numbers, IA lie
according the account Of the postmaster,) and
the next place your jokers column was too
scurrious. Besides, he knows by the tone of
your editorials that you drink. He wants
nothing more to do with you-never wants to
hear from you again.
No. Us in Jail for debt. He has not seen
a half dollar for a year. Says he would pay
with the utmost oheerfulness if he had the mo-
ney, but had TO borrow shirt to put on last
Sunday. Admires your paper wonderfully,
and hopes you will continue sending it to him.
He wishes you to take bold stand in favor Of
the abolition of Imprisonment for debt, as he
thinks 1t would be very popular move with
gentlemen in his situation Sends his best
respects.
No. 3-Is young doctor Says your pa
per is beneath the notice of a gentleman
Would not give a for a cart load Says
that you inserted an article rejecting upon the
profession. Only wishes ne could catch you
here-would make you smell. Is going
to persuade everybody that takes your paper
to stop it. Cussed your bill, aud says you
may get it the best way you can.
No. lis an old maid. Says you are al
ways taking fling at single ladies of an un
certain age. Wouldn't pay you if she was
rolling in wealth, and you hadn't enough to
buy crust of bread. Sent all the papers she
had back month ago, and says now she has
sent them she don't owe you anything. Says
she is even with you and intends to keep SO
until the day of judgement.
No. SIS a gambler. Says he has got
completely cleaned out last week at the races.
Couldn't accommodate his grandmother with
half a dime is she was starving. Likes your
paper tolerably-would like it better if you
published more races, and would occasionally
give an account of cock-fght. Hopes you
won't think hard of him for not paying you
now, but has a prospect of soon having some
loose change, as he is after a rich young green
horn, who arrived here last week, will pay your
bill out of the pIuckings
No. 6-Is drunkard. Hasn't got anything
and never expects to have. Gathered up all
the papers he had and sold them for half a
pint of rum to the grocery keeper to wrap up
groceries in.
No. is Il magistrate. Swore he never
owed cent, and told me l was a low rascal
for trying to swinde him in such barefaced
manner. Advised me to make tracks in a
little less than no time, or he would get out q
warrant against me, as common cheat, and
have me sent to prison. Is by all odds the
meanest man have seen yet. Never will 60
near him again.
No. SIS a policeman. Says that although
you profess to publish neutral paper, it is not
SO. Thinks he has seen considerable squirting
towards the side he is opposed to.
The collector concludes with "accept my
resignation, and strike me from the list of
agents. l have been called a swindler, rascal,
villain, blood-sucker. These are some of the
names they think proper to bestow upon me.
| tried fighting while, and thrashed some OF
your patrons like bazes, but occasionally got
licked like thunder myself"