The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1861-06-19
Prof. HannibaI's Lectures

OUDATIoUs LAMs:
You will find de tex dat excite my
argufy dis ebenin on de back OBJ ebbry
man, sept poets and editors, who has
de least claim to suspectahility, on
ebbry Sunday morning and when we
look at it tilosofcally or horiz ontilly,
upside down or wise wersey, you will
say wild me dat it am berry 'portant
tex. De words oh de tex am:
DE CLEAN SHIRT.
De institution oh de clean shirt was
innawgerated as soon arter fine tooth
combs ard de christian era, as circum-
stances would admit, and it was for
years looked upon more as a luxury
dan q necessity, and de same may be
said OBJ large class OBJ viii tie folks OBJ
dis day and gineration. Meny OBJ de
onchent fellers, SIGH as Diogonies and
Socreties, who libed A D., dat means
afore Doesticks,) 1884, neber sperein-
ced de luxury Oh clean shirt. If de
former had, he nebber could hab spent
life time in a herring tub wild only
de bung hole for o window. Mr..
Socreties would hab been more amia-
BILE in his disposition by thund ern
sight.
A clean shirt has more to do wild
our tighten propensities dan You hab
any ida oh. | hab looked frue de al.
manack for tree successive weeks, and
hab insulted de Pirates Own Book
sebreI times, and read de last messages
of Pres dents Lincoln and Davis, and
not one instance is related whar a
man committed deliberate murder jis
arter putin on clean shirt, and aldo
dar am cases recorded whar men hah
stolen q clean shirt, dar am no men,
ton made oh de fac oh man a gwane
ont q stealth directly arter putin on
one heself, darfore, you black scor-
pions, you see dat clean shirts hab
Amos as much to do wild your honesty
as wild your cleanliness
My frens ! can any perfume you hab
ebber smelt compare wild de new, and
clorade- obline like de (9f page of de
Doctor book smell OBJ de kitchen on
ironing day, when de clean close am a
hangin round de fire on de close boss
to air, lis arter been ironed !? Oh
corse not! And 2dly, did any oh you
young he niggers ebber go cortin,
and cotch your Dulcina ironing, and
in bad temper at de same TINA p
No! I nose You nebber did Iron
ing clean close and good natur am in
digcnous togedder, and one comes
wild de odder as material as green APP
pies and de hellyake-jis as smoof,
placid and even as de white shirt am,
am de mind OBJ de operator on de
same. And 3dly, clean sheets goes a
good ways towards good nights rest
|
always providin your conscience are
clean likewise.
De Almaneck don't say jis disactly
when clean shirts come into fashion. -
De fust dat was seen OBJ dem was
nof1in but de wristbands, which was
invented by Frenchman, cause dc
white tip looked nice at de end OBJ dc
coat sleebe. De Yankee improved
pom de wristband by putin a shirt to
it, and hence, de institution sprung up
like kite in high wind, and so dey
went on till ebbry body oh de hemale
species wore one, more or less, till dey
seases to be luxury
Good stand here and ware out my
nuckels and dis cushion, in probin tc
you dat clean shirts and sibilizashun
am alwas found togedder. De poor
darkened Ingin and de blacker African
nebber knows de luxury OBJ clean
shirt; and mex to de shirt in de scales
OBJ civiIizashun must be classed de fine
toof comb-you argue dis pint all mite
and you must come to de same conclu,
shun wild your humble shepard.
/ What made Lord Byron poet p
Some say gin and sugar, but | say
clean shirts ! he nebber wrote widout
one, and nobody nebber seed q por;
trate ob him widont it. True, he
sometimes, in de hurry oh his toilet
and de ravages ob de aforesaid gir
and sugar, got it on wrong side up, as
all OBJ his dogstovepipes goes to probe
but dat don't alter de case a bit, as dc
man said when he stole de silver screws
/ from a coffin, yedder he got in head Of
tail. / hab afore said dat clean shirts
and fine toof combs were as crate pro
moters oh moral mortality as de spellil
book, and I now maintain it widin al