The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1861-03-13
The Dfsha nd ed VOlun-

Il
CRATE timber splitter would mex mornin be
a rushing over the rails full split for his life,
and belevin as nuthin but bein shed Of
time could prevent his bein launs'led inter
etarnity. Mind, don't say as his magnan-
nymousc sperrit WIS decomposed by tho
piospeck Of his own humaside. Like Ju.
lus Seezer, he would hev gon to the capitol
accordin to the programlny, regardless of
cunsperrators and thar dodgers. But Abe
luvs his wife bcttcr'n Seezer luvd Califor.
mia, and hens the old cock yielded to the
eggsortashins and aperienty shodc the
white fether. Evry boddy admits now that
the cnnsperracy was fish story, and that
he fled from shadder. The mount Of it
is, that sartain demmycrats in Bawltmore
-partickler friends of old Buck-wanted
to run saw on the railocrats, so they coined
this bit OF bogus jst to put Genral Scott on
false cent The hull turnd out percizely
as the ioakers ment it should, and the Mer.
rylanlers haven't yet dun shakin thar sides
"ver thar waggary. "Lock's Moon Hokes"
warn't suckemstance to this remarkabul
suck in.
did my best to persuade the illustrus
wcdge-drivcr not to. bolt from Harrasburgh,
and mought-hev prevented the stampede cf
| he'd his privit ear longer; but the wimmin
bust il. upon and swomped my arguments
with flood Of tears. They couldent hard
" speak for gulpin and sobEin, and the
hull burdin Of thar cries was-"Oh !-Oh!
Oh ! he'l--hc-ass--ass-as
I" Never heerd setch an aGectin corus
in all my life I don't think could hcv
sed no, ef had been IN Old Abe's place.
But evin at that .ueltin nionIent the. two
materially coflintc biass Of his mind shode
itself. -.. ...-
ID. w." scs he, in horse wisper--for
| his vice was husky with emoshin-"D. ",
why am in the same predickyment now
as if | was in the midst Of the consperra.
| torsS'
couldent figger it out
"Why," SEES he, stretchin his lips with a
nine smile, "bekasc line overcum with
lnenny weepins.".
AFTER sum rcaeckshin got at the nub Of
the joak, and guffawcd slitely.
When the vcnabul 1llannoyun gifts on
the connie trail he follers it up regardless
OF everything. He couldn't stop hisself.
notwithstandin the gluny natter Of the
suhjeck in hand. - 49,.
ken emmy Of yon tell me-" ses he, "why
Tme like a weel within weel ?"
| Wun of the lndvs subiested sumthin
about his conneckshin with the common.
wecl
"No," he resoomed. shaking his he'd and
winkin at me, sits bekase line going incog."
Encurridged by the larf after this witty.
sissum. he put the cnsooin questin:
| "What sters shall resort to on the forth
Of March TO show the peepil my respcck for
the Constitooshin?"
Several of the .wimmin maid reply. Wun
Said. M cumpromis with the disannullers
IF the Union. Abe" Anuthnr thort the
hest corse wonId he 10 invite all the lceding
travtors to Washington, and string en- MP
~ the Pennsv'vanv avcroo poplars; and a
third sod eff old Abc would apnint a nav.
shunal wimmcns convonshin, the hull thing
could be put throo in weak.
| The distinguished cannondrumist OK.
plainnd. SEES he: "Mv trends. the fnst
steps shall resort to on the forth Of March
to show NV respeck fer the Constitooshin,
will he the Capitol steps"
| I groned lauaahly--T couldn't help it.
and, takin the oil mans arm, led him into
the opin mir. whar he sumo rekivered and
became comparatively ravshinal.
The inargurole is finisht. On Monday
itnl oney be with two cents a conpv. but
menny specktater would Civ ten thousand
| dollars this mint to hev setch a CLANS at it
as he'd TO day. Attic nv tung is tide &C
TO particklers. NAV menshin that it will
make sartin ultry black Republicans blast.
fem Its not howcry, but uncommon
Weedy. Ef n doosent make stox iump
thars no lump too en- Don't be tuck aback
Of you hear sreeks in the Trihoon offs. mex
aore, when they, git its meanin throo thar
har. till You. consllyashin's the wurd
from thu Capitol Hill mex Mundav--if it
isent, You ken withdraw yure confidence
from me forever more, Amen!
motifs thars hepe of gossip about the
President eleck goin the rounds, most OF
witch is liebills. Hcvin kept a diaree Of
his MONUMENTS for sum time past, I spoke
bv the keard The Dutchman as SEES he
emplies his hours or rclaxashin in blackin
his own boots and takin grease pots outer
his panterloons. doosent no the Sinsinnatus
Of the west from side O. lethcr. His rshil
amusement wen to hum, was to supply the
fammaly with wood. do the marketn. and
pound bcefstakes for breakfast with his IA
mus maui; but the onay recreashin he in.
dnlges ID at present is within slivcrs OF
white pine into miniatoor rails. He with" S
and rcflccks, and rcflecks and whites. and
whites and joaks, and joaks and whites -
The tutch Of timher's necessary to bring
out his idecs. Se.ch is the conscience OF
bein raseG in wooden kuntry
The petishins for offs under the incnm.
min administrator. now on file, according
to the kalliations Of a member Of the topo
orafical engineers, would carpit the entire
districk of Columby, paper all the hous n
in Washington, and leave enuff to make
kites for all the children in the United State
doori; the present secsin. This is gratifyin
Yours a|us,
1 ez~ A OIsB .NDEn VOLUNTEER,