Union County star and Lewisburg chronicle. [volume] (Lewisburg, Pa.) 1859-1864, 1861-04-05


said she 81 suppose you have forgot, for
/ it is very convenient to have short men,
ory some,imes-I suppose you have forgot
when our poor old father was fighting, not
long ago, with old John Bull, in defence
Of his bacon, how you sneakei away, and
said John was in the right, ard that your
poor old father deserved good beating!
And don't you remember how you threw
up your eyes, like great hypocri,ical old
maid as you are, aud refused 10 rej DICE,
when be at las, got the better Of his antag-
onis,? Ha. ha. Miss Goody TwOsboes,
I've not lost my memory, though it seems
you have"
Miss Massy did not pretend to deny
this, but threw up her hands aud eI'
claimed, "Wbat little vixen
: Miss Virginia and Miss Pen, and Miss
Georgians, the next sister to little Garry,
and the Great West, all called out shame
on her, for treating ber elder sister III this
mauuer; but as for Miss York, she had
20, such a wipe about her oyster war, that
sue sat with folded arms as quiet as
lamb. But little Garry was match for
them al. She turned to Virginia, aud
e1claimed- 80
You needn't talk, madam: how long
i. i, since you wrote sauey letter 10 our
father, telling him es much as that be was
an Old fool, and didn't know his owu
rights, or those of his daughters! If l
don't mistake, you were very otedient
/ then, for on threatened, if be didn't mind
his p's aud q's, you'd quit bis house and
kill your own mutton. As for y9u, Miss
Penn, with your Quaker bonnet aud
smooth face-how | do bate hypocriiical
I faces as for you, Miss, an almost
ashamed TO talk about such filthy sub
ject; but didn't you Ouce fly il the face
Of our good father, (at least | thought
him SO them because-because-pshaw !.
it makes NE sick to think Of it-because
he raised the price Of bis whiskey! Aud
as for you, Miss GeOrgiana, you'd better
20 home and take care Of the poor old
Cherokee Indians you wan: 10 turn out Of
the farm old uncle Charles left you, like q
grea, oaf as he was; and you'd better 60
aud settle that matter about the parsou-
you UNDERSTAND me-, sister. Marry, come
up p, instead of ecturiDg one in this man
Der, tell you again, I've calculated the
value ot the family union to q fraction,
aud settled the balance by Cookers arith-
metic, aud there's az eod Of it,"
/ Then she turned around 10 the Great
West
"As for you, you great, overgroxn,
awkward thing, you'd better 60 home too,
and put on your moccasins. Ouly look
at tie creature In her homespun froek,
stitched with bark, and pinned with grea;
thorus! What a pretty figure you'd make
in drawing room, aud who's your mantua-
maker, pray? l suppose you dOu't re-
member, either, when you threatened the
old gentleman to run away, the Lord
knows where, because be did no, choose to
60 to lOggerheads with one of bis neigh
bOrs sbou, a mill stream be would not let
you sail bark boats on2 Once for all,
tell you, you're al! as deep in the mud as
am in the mire, and had better be quiet
about the family union. There ism, one
of you tha, has not deserved to be well
switched half dozen times"
This broadside pretty well silenced Miss
Massy Txoshoes, aud the rest Of them,
and almos, overawed the old lady, who
could not he P 10 her heart, however, be.
ing proud Of daughter SO much like her,
seif, 10 the matter Of having tongue in
her head. After Considering a short time,
she looked around, and fixed ber attention
on Ms, York, whose good temper and
discretion sue looked TO, 10 great meas
ure, for settling all their. family fsui-.
She accordingly called upon hcr for an
opinion on the bes, mode 0. bringing i;
about.
The good spius,er was somewhat puzzled.
TIE truth is, her head had one opiuIon,
aud her heels another; the heart was
pretty decided, but the ends of the ingers
aud toes, being, as | observed before,
such a great way of, had each different
bias, aud could by no means be brought to
proper understanding with each other.
/ The consequence was, the poor girl was
puzzled SO many different ways, tia, she
could hardly bold together, aud spoke frs,
on one side the question, then the other,
until Satan himself would have been puz-
zled to tell her real opinion, if she had
any, which was doubtful.
Now if had been the old lady, I should
! have made something ike the follOwing
speech:
"Sit down, you overgro~n goose. 81.
dosn, till yCu can make up your mrd to
say something q body can understand.
And now, hear me, young ladies', Touch