The star of the north. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, 1861-11-13
Husbands and WifeS

] pears that there are also a considerable
number OF married people who would be
glad TO be separated. Some think they
made mistake, and wish TO rectify it ;
some woul1 be glad to be quit of il ato>
gether. We have many husbands desert.
ing Ihefr wives; few wives escaping
from their husbands.
Surveying The whole ground, we find that
there are, and can be, no marriages which
are absolutely and entirely happy. The
imperfections and evils OF humanity forbid
IT. To have perfect marriage, the parties
must not only be perfect in themselves, but
perfectly adopted to each other, which would
be expecting two impossibiliiies-in The
nature of things
But great majority of marriages have
certain elements of happiness, and can be
made not only eudurable but beneficial if
the parties will make proper efforts TO that
end. A man can generally overcome his
bad habits and faults, if he will make an
earnest and preserving effort to Go So A
woman can still more easily conform TO the
requirements of her position. Probably
nine couples in Ten are, on the whole hap
pier than they would be apart
There are, no doubt many cases of ex-
IRENE and violent incompatibiity. Where,
all things considered, greater harm than
good comes of two persons living together,
they may separate. We do not say they
may be divorced, as that is theologi
cal and moral question we do nel choose 10
discuss. But woman is not compelled 10
live with an insane man. There are crimes
and outrages which must Justify her in re-
fusing TO live with him. Doubtless, much
must be borne. We have need of patience,
forbearance, charity. ard great resignation !;
but something short of actual martyrdom
may be considered the place at which pa
iience ceases to be a virtue
Perhaps the great mischief and chief
canse of their social troubles is, that men
and women marry in haste, and SO repent
at leisure. Boys and girls. scarcely ac-
quainted with each other rush into an en-
gagement for life. without considering
whether they are ready TO assume the du-
lies and responsibilities of marriage, or
whether they are adapted TO make earh 9th
er suitable partners for the long, and often
weary, journey of life. And the reason for
this is, that vast number of our yonng
people never get any proper instruction in
their duties. Who is to teach them At
school they learn all the scietces, except
how 10 live. Then parents, conscious. per-
haps, of their own impetfeciions. rarely If
ever, instruct their children upon their most
important duiies. The clergy seldom preach
on such subjects or, il they do preach
discourses of fine sentiment rather than
plain common sense.
The consequence is that onr Young peo
pie are left to their instincts and passions
happy if these are not perverted And
they find, too late, perhaps iha, the young
lady who was charming partner at ball
may make very Indifferent house-keeper,
or lha: the gallant and fascinating young
gentleman who looked and talked like a
hero of5omance, is poorly qualified 20 get
a living and perform his duties az the father
of family.
In many cases advice is useless; but TO
the sensible portion of youthful and sill
unmarried readers We may say tBe sure
your are acquainted with the partner
of Your future life. Use, at least, as much
care and foresight as you wonld in buying a
house, farm, or horse. Do not despise
good counsel, and that OF people older than
yourself. 1t is better to suffer a broken
heart single, than a broken head and heart
married. Marry for love by all means but
be sure 10 love what is lovely. Look ten
or twenty years ahead. Consider not only
what the relation will be next week. or next
year, but all the way along LIES troubled
journey
And, after reading all our good advice,
and meditating upon its wisdom, you will
probably fall head ad-over-hees in love with
somebody. and forget all about it or think
it very good advice for people in general,
but not al all applicable to your particular
case Therefore: We shall not waste our
lime farther in giving advice which is sure
moi to be needed.