Cincinnati daily press. [volume] (Cincinnati [Ohio]) 1860-1862, 1861-12-04
8 o M z f n.
..DRCRNIBER 4


SOME FUN.
[Trom the New York PostI
The Last MaH Of Beaufort.
IT'S the last man at Beaufort
Left sitting alone,
AL his valiant companions
Had "vamosed" and gone;
No secesh of his kindred
To comfort is nigh,
And his liquors. expended,
The bottle is dry
"Well not leave thee, thou lone one"
Or harshly condemn
Since your friends have all "mizzled,"
You can't sleep with them;
And it's no joking matter
To sleep with the dead;
So we'll take you back with US
"Jim, lift up bis head p
He muttered some words
As they bore him away,
And the breeze thus repeated
The words he did say:
"When the liquors ali out,
And your friends they have flown,
Oh who would inhabit
This Beaufort alone P'
AN AFFECTING SieHT.-To see a young
man swapping kisses with pretty girl.
Young women are never in more danger
of being made slaves than when the men are
at their feet.
To keep warm in a cold day, women double
the cape and men double the Rrn.
"John. did Mrs. Green get the medicine
ordeIed2" 81 guess so" replied John, "for
/ saw Grape on the door the next morning"
"Be jabers," said Pat "the devil a show a
man has who waits till he's kilt before he
ects on the defensive"
An advertiser in one of the papers says
that he has q cottage to let containing eight
rooms and an acre Of land.
The elements of human happiness are love
to God and man, love to one woman, aud the
possession Of good hired girl.
as any body waiting on your said po-
lite dry goods clerk to girl from the coun-
try. ayes, sir" said the blushiug damsel
''thats my feller outside. He wouldn't come
in."
, Mr.. Jenkins is about to get married. He
says that to live single is not only singular,
but "agin natur, law, gospel, common sense,
and, and-fun generally" jenkins is about
right.
A peddler was asked by long, spindle
sbanked wag, if he had any tin overalls.
"No," replied the peddler; "but have pair
OF candle molds that will just fit you"
An article announcing the decease of a
person says: "His remains were committed
to that bourne whence no traveller returns
accompanied by his friends"
A shoemaker was taken up for bigamy
(which wife, asked a by-stander, Twill he
be obliged to take ?" He is a cobbler,' re-
piled another, ''and Of course must stick to
the last"
"a man who'll maliciously set fire to a
barn." said Mrs. Slow, "and burn up twenty
cows, ought to be kicked to death by jack
ass, and I'd like to do it," Slow is very
severe sometimes.
One shockingly inclement day poor wo-
man begged OF Charles Lamb, ending her ap
peal with, believe me, sir, have seen bet
ter dsys." $50 have |" said Lamb, hand
ing the poor creature a shilling, $50 have L
it's miserable day Good-by."
"A sailor dropped out of the rigging of {
ship. of. war some fifteen or twenty feet, ant
fell plump on the first lieutenant. "Wretch,
said the officer, as he gathered himself up
''where did you come from ?" "And sure
came from the north of Ireland, your honor
A son of the Emerald Isle, once riding t,
market with sack OF potatoes before him
discovered that the horse was getting tired
whereupon he dismounted, put the potatoe
on his shoulders, and again mounted, saying
at was better that he should carry the pra
ties, as he was fresher than the poor baste.'
A gentleman was once praising the per
sonal charms of very homely woman befor
Mr.. Foote, the comedian, who whispered Il
him: "And why don't you lay claim Il
such an accomplished 6eautyW "Wha
right have to her2" said the other. Sever,
right, by the law of nations, as the first dis
coverer."
A Kentucky preacher, named Kidwell, wa
about to discourse to a large audience in
wild part of Illinois, and announced for hi
text, sin my fathers house are many man
sions." He had read the words, when al
old man looked up and said: 81 tell you
folks, that is lie l know his father wei
He lives about fifteen miles from Lexington
in Kentucky, in an old cabin, and thar ain
but one room in the house" A burst c
laughter broke loose on that prairie, s
startling and vehement, that the people i
the adjoining State of Missouri supposed the
were visited by au earthquake. The NEE
ing adjourned incontnently.