The south-western. [volume] (Shreveport, La.) 1852-1870, 1861-01-30

Stanley sand WldoWer BFoWn 10 AlS Hupeiul bph "i
fifteen summers i you to remain home this even
H'what for, popl Where are you goins?"
"Fhats very impertinent question for son to pro-
round to his father but suppose | viii have to an
swer it. I am going to pity my respects to Miss Sally
Patterson this evening.
mo YOU don't, pop! am going to see her myself
this evening and faint no use OF Us both going to see
the same gal at the same time"
So saving, young Stanley took up bis hat and walked
of leaving bis father perfectly contounded.
Wit not as faculty, blt production of the
mind is sudden association Of ideas in natural man
ner but in unequal and striking relations 50 as to pro
duce surprise Joined with pleasure or pain and tending
TO excite mirth anger.
Humor, not as a faculty, but production Of the
mind is a sudden association Of images in unusual
and striking manner 70 70 produce pleasure, and
tending to excite mirth
The sign of a Uobacconist in Pittsburg contains the
representation Of three joral fellows enjoying the
comforts ofthe weed narcotic in three dterentmodes
described in the following eouplet:
awe three labor ia a common cause
One pufs, one snutfs, and one chaws"
A virulent, aggressive fool taiuts the reason of a
household Asin boat to be overset, or a carriage
run away with-not only tho foolish pilot Or driver but
everybody on board is forced to assume strange and
ridiculous attitudes 10 balance the vehicle and prevent
its upseting.
most affecting evidence of the devotion Of women"
is noticed in the English papers. The ladies Of very
fashionable congregation in London are raising fund
by subscription to enable their mini5ter-stjl young
and good looking, to get divorce from his wife.
a clear stream reflects all objects that are upon s
shore but is unsulied BY them; 60 it should be with
our hears-they should show the effect Of oil objects,
and vet remain unframed by any.
A traveller returned from Europe, was asked how he
liked Rome: to which he replied that Rome a very
fine city but that he must acknowledge he thought tie
public buildings were very much out of repair.
The heroes of the hour relatively great of faster
growth; or they are SUCH in whom at the moment of
success quality is ripe which j. then in request Other
DAYS will demand other qualities.
A parson named Owen Moore, once left his creditors
somewhat unceremoniously, upon which a wag wrote:
Owen Moore has run away,
OWN more than he could pay.
Il Is the great art and philosophy Of life to make
the best of the present. whether it be good or bad
and to bear the with resignation and patience and
enjoy the other with thankfuness and moderation.
II cannot imagine what makes my hair turn so grey;
sometimes fancy II Is the essence Of rosemary with
which nv maid brushes It. What do you Think"
Il should rather be afraid, madam" replied dis
tinguished drama.s drilf that il is the essence Of
timel"
A young man in conversation evening CHANGED
TO remark l am no prophet" True" replied lady
present, no profit to yourself or to any one else
Beauty without expression tires. Able Menage
said Of the president lie Eailiiel, that he was fit for
nothing but to sit for his portrait
Lqziness begins in Cobwebs and ends in iron chains
Itcreeps over man slowly andimpercepble that be
Is bound tight before be knows H.
Why Hans you have the most feminine cast Of coun
tenanee have ever seen. Oh, yah, replied Hans,
know dc reason for dat--nine moder woman.
Criticus says that the difference between successful
lover and his rival H. that kisses hia miss and the
other misses his kiss. A distinction and difference.
It was wttily, but somewhat ungalanty, said that
woman is the very reverse Of her mirror-the one
fleets without talking the other talks rejecting
hon INV m tho mo Ter
debauch Had Leander practised swimming with half
the perseverance my head he'd never have drowned"
Novelsts tell of lovers who agree to their hands
towards each other at certain hour across the Allan
tic ocean. One might suppose there would be waves
Sam, does your mother ever give you any reward Of
merit?
spose shedoes, give me lfcken regularly every day,
and says merit two.
Read not books alone but men; and, chiefly be very
careful to read thyself.
I'm what car did the man ride who was "driren
frantc2"
If all things are for the best where do the rations
of the second best come from?
What is the width Of wide grin?
God demands our whole heart, or nothing