Muscatine weekly journal. [volume] (Muscatine, Iowa) 185?-1890, 1861-02-15
fEor tho J0urnal,l


parties that the Union is sick, and nigh unto
death, and as the nostrums and quaek medi
cines prescribed by Dug, Breck, Sam 4 Co.
only tend to feed and strengthen the disease
and render the death of the patient certain,
l thought would (for the sake of humanity
give to the world u recipe for making med.
icine that know will not only save the life
Of the patient but prevent return Of the
disease, for at least q thousand years:
Any quantity Of balls and shell,
powder,
The same Of guns, swords &C.,
About 500 tons of hemp,
No scruples,
No drains,
As much lead as you please;
Ram home in mortars.
The different Ingredients to be nged
for convenient use - especially the lead,
which is to be made into ''blue-pills" of J o.
each. The hemp is to be used only when
the pills do not produce the desired effect, or
when it is thought best to reach the same
result by varying the medicine, thereby
avoiding monotony. Commence the treat
ment of the case in the year A. D. 1861,
unless tho state of the patient absolutely
requires that something should be done
sooner. Administer with a bold hand, as
any other course will only strengthen the
disease, as past experience has proved, and
inasmuch as the disease has become general
throughout the body. You will find it on
either side of $50 3O>. The symptoms are a
certain breaking out at the mouth, very easily
recognized by its peculiar odor. But another
infalIable rule to know them is their heads
were cut off 9th of November last, but they
concluded not to die, and so they gathered
up their heads, and, in their darkness and
confusion (what better could they do p put
all Of them on hind-side before, so that all
the moral sentiments are reversed, the eyes
looking down and back, and the animal pro-
pensities in front. And another result
which is not to be wondered at the heads
got on strange bodies -oide Douglas on
Breckinridge's shoulders; also Sans
Union, Constitution and enforcement Of the
laws, all reversed. The place where the
heart ought to be is filled with as many
devils as had the man that dwelt in the
tonabs.
By-the-way speaking Of 1ombs-but-bu
let that pass Whenever you see these
symptoms, and particularly if the mouth
disease does not "dry up suddenly, admin
lister one or more of the blue-pills, about the
umbilical region, until the devils come out
(and this kind will not come out by any
other process.) And if they should be as
dead men after the devils are out, be not
alarmed at these alarming symptoms. They
shall be brought to life again, just one
thousand years after the first resurrection,
and join the Southern Contederacy, under
the old Rattlesnake for President, where the
powers of the government rest upon an
un-amendable and never-ending Constitu-
ton. l deem it my duty to say the climate
Of the Snake Confederacy is entirely too hot
for cotton.
Sir, the remedy is q powerful one, and
may be straining to the constitution; but
the disease is malignant one and has got to
be epidemic, and must be extirpated from
this land, just as the pleuro-pneu"sonia was
from among the kline. Compromise with
devils ?-not if the heavens fall!
DR.. RAMRoD.
sDEMocRATIc" EcoNoxy.-When the pres