Polynesian., 1861-11-23
Beating n Ghost.

Al
Paddy Andrews was put to the bar for nearly
killing ghost, which, however, turned out to be
no ghost at all but only decent boy who reioces
in the name of Micky Power Paddy, it seems. is
in the habit Of getting blue every now and then,
which means about every day in the week, and on
| each occasion he kicks up q and breaks things
and then lies down to repOse on his laurels. And
Paddy has been doing all this for many year past,
until it has become natural to him at last that
so as he happens to go to bed sober, so sure
is he to get headache, and thus as it may well be
urged in his paliatiOn, he is in a manner compelled
| to get drunk in self-defence But notwithstanding
that Mr.. Andrews system so evidently requires
thee or four glasses day to keep it in order, his
better half is continually scolding and lecturing
him, her endeavOrs to make him sober, even
though 1t would be at the risk of undermining his
constitution; but of course, Paddy knowing good
to be scarce, is up to a trick worth two of this
and still continued to go the whole figure, as well
because he is used to it as for tho benefit of his
health. And this was the way Paddy was getting
| on, without single thorn In his path but Molly's
tongue, until one night, when he was most uncer-
enormously awakened out Of an ambrosial snOoze
| by the appearance of the aforementioned terrible
apparitiOn, which very politely informed him that
1t came hot foot from certain place, to carry him
away to the devil.
The ms and outs ov it was Just this, your
honor" commenced Paddy; SO was takin a sleep
|
shure | had every raisin to do that same, an me
payin a dollar week for the rint. whin all ov
sudden hard sOmethin hittin me punch in the
ribs Arrah, Molly, be aisy wild you, sez I.
I'm not Molly at ALL sez a voice: but the divil,
an want you to 90 along wild we to place where
you'll be able to light your pipe wild the end ov
your finger. Arrah, whish'd wild you, an don't
be wantin to friten the wits out body sez /,
for shure it's only man you must be- sez L.
| I'm not, sez he, but ghost, an L could ait q
man at bit' sez he, If | only took it into me
head sez he. The Lord pursave u.s. sez L;
but it's now that I'm fixed intirely, sez l. The
div lie in that any way sez he - but you'll be
fixed betther by-an-by whin I've stuck fishing
hook in your tongue, an hung yon a slow fire.
sez he. Well, your honor, wild that thought the
life i'd laive me; SO | shut eye an begun to
thrimble all over, like poor dog in wet sack,
whin sez the ghost, Paddy Andrews, Paddy An
dhrews, Paddy Andrews, do you know what you
goin to be damned fort Il dunno, sez |, for 1
go to mass every Sunday, and vote the dmycratic
ticket That's not enough to save you,' sez he,
for sez he, you are damned for gettin dhrunk
an beatin your wife, why, sure sez /, didn't
Saint Pathrick himself get dhrunk q He did,
sez he, but thin a saint has right to git dhrunk
if he Wishes sez he, an not all the
likes Ov such an omadhaun as you That's
mighty QUAR- I. Troth, an it is sez he,
but it's the truth for all that, for he towld so
Yesterday who tOwld you so 9 sez I. Saint
Pathrck himself. av coorse, sez he, for met him
walkin a golden cloud forninst wan ov the
gates oy heaven 'Ailia murther, thin,' sez l,
if that's the ease it's all up wild me, an you must
be the diyi in airnist.' Fax, an to be sure 1
am, sez he an to prove it, take that An that
| mightn't sin, your honor, but the word was
hardly out of his mouth. whin he begun to burn
me face an hands wild somethin or other, until /
thought, shure enough, that l was either in pur-
gatory or else like yees protestants had gone fur
| A. opJ c,ro all tbafT II
opened me eyes, and be the powers, there was the
ghost wild head on him as big barrel, and
two great hons stiekin out ov it, that might have
| frightened the Pope himsel. 90, marcy marcy
marcy have marcy this time sez /, an I'll do
everything you bid me from this out, an for ever,
| sez L. will you swear it y sez he. | will, sez
/. Thin here's the book sez he, an you must
| either swear that you won't dhrink dhrop Of
anything stronger tay coffee, but especially
that you'll put nothing In the line of brandy, gin,
rum, wshkey, wine ale, beer, or porther into your
head for year day; or else I'll fly away wild
you in flash ov blue birthstone It's a bargain,
| seZ |, so | took the book swore the oath, and
kished it nine times over 10 show was in airnist;
but 10 an behowld you, whin that was all settled
to his intre satisfaction, the rashkll ov q ghost
or dvil, as he said he was, threw away his white
Sheet an took off his head, and then begun to set
| up horse laugh at meself, and there be jabers,
| whin looked agin found to me sorrow, that it
/
valIain Micky Powers, who desarves to be hanged
at laist, if not something worse, for playing such
a thriek upon any dacint man, maxim it parjury
for him to take the smallest dhrop ov anything to
comfort him for twelve long months, an day at
| the ind ov it,
Well, but you didn't say anything about the
| beating Paddy" observed his worship who had
more than once insulted the dignity of the bench,
| by laughing outright.
! '' No. in troth, your honor, for / thought you
might have guessed all about that" replied Pat;
81 for shure, wasn't it enough to vex saint out of
glory to be thraited so. l confess that gave him
a real broth ov mallavogng an | know that
your honor will give me credit for it."
'' Well, but your honor. it was all de wifs's
| fault" exclaimed Micky Power, the first wag of
whose tongue proclaimed him to be thorough
blooded Dublin Jackeen.' De DEVILS in dat
man ov mine, Micky,' sez she. Fax an sez /,
I'D like to be IN him meself, for den I'd have
plentyov de true sort, and nottin to pay for it,
OATS true enough sez she, but will you help
me to play him thrick, an I'll give you shilIin p
= Be de hOky, will in welkim,' sez I. So den she