The Grand Haven news. [volume] (Grand Haven, Mich.) 1858-18??, 1861-04-10
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.
: Love one being we'll and warm


= Love one being we'll and warmly.
- Never solicit the knowledge of n
secret.
= He generally talks most who has
the least 10 say.
- Beauty and youth once banished can
never be recalled.
- Wanted to know the velocity of n
running account.
49, The NAH who minds his own bu-
siness has good steady employment.
- All that is necessary for the enjoy
ment of sausages at breakfast is conf
dence.
A wag recently defined moustaches
to be the upper lip in mourning for the
brains.
A piano affords young lady n
good. chance to show her lingering and
her finger-ring.
- A hermit prefers always to be "left
n loan," but rs for us, we would rather
be cleft fortune"
ISLANDERS, issuing from beautiful lips,
are like spiders crawling from the blush
ing heart of rose.
- The editor of the Niagara City
Herald says an interesting cry-sis has ar
rived in his domestic affairs.
- Opinion is one of the great pillars
that upholds commonwealth, and the
greatest engine TO overthrow them.
- The true gentleman is always mod
est. He is more ready to obtain the opin-
ions of Others than TO parade his own.
- To boast OF the virtues of our an.
cestors, is as absurd as for blind man tc
console himself that his parents had good
eyes.
- "This is what l call capital punish
menL," as the boy said when his mother
shut him up in the closet among the pre-
serves.
- A man complained that never faith.
er bad so undutiful a child as he had
" Yes" said the son, "my grandfather
had"
= / is said Tom Corwin dcsignates
those Republican members of Congress
who refuse TO agree 10 any compromise,
id blue noses.
- A poet saws: "Oh, she was fair,
but sorrow came, add left his traces
there" What became of the rest of the
harness ho dosen't state.
- A French wife wrote to her husband
as follows: l write 10 you because /
have nothing TO do; and | end my letter
because | have nothing TO say"
- A western paper announcing the
death Of gentleman in Iowa, says:--
I" He was great admirer of Horace Gree
ley, but otherwise a respectable man."
- Some sensible chap says truly, that
person who undertakes to raise himself
by scandalizing others, might just as well
sit down on a wheelbarrow, and under
take TO wheel himself.
- The people live uncommonly long
in Vermont. There are two men there Sc
old that they have quite forgotten who
they are, aud there is nobody alive who
can remember them.
- A well dressed young gentleman at
a ball, in whisking about the room, ran
his head against young lady. He be-
gan to apologize. "Not word, sir; il
is not hard enough to hurt anybody"
- The Times, in an obscure corner
has the following paragraph: "Patrick
you fool, what makes you steal after thai
rabbit when your gun has no lock on it 2
"Hush, my darling, tho rabbit don't know
that"
- An Irishman, Just from the sod
was eating some old cheese, when h'
found to his dismay that it contained liv
ing inhabitants. "Be jabers," said he
"does your chase in this country have
childreng"
= The papers are dragging of nm in
vention by which leather can be tanned
in ten minutes. We have seen the hui
man hide, however, tanned in five. Ou
schoolmaster used to do il occasionlly il
two.
- "Mother," said little fellow the
other day, "is there any harm in breaking
egg sholls?" "Certainly not, my dear
but why do you askr "'Cause drop
ped the basket just now, and see what
mess I'm in with the yolk."
= A man who assisted to empty sew
eral bottles of wine, afterwards took {
walk. The pavements were quite icy
and he exclaimed, every singular; when
ever water freezes, il always freezes will
the slippery side up"
- An old Dutchman, who was elect
| al n ,..o...Io. of H. \ oc,.,lof,,ro caid in