Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1861-04-14
SPICE OF HUNGER.

A gentleman describing the sbsurditT Of a
man dancing the polka, said Chat it appeared
as IL the individual had a hole 10 bis pocket,
and vas futilely endsavoring TO shake a shil-
ling out OF the leg # his trousers.0
WY DoS'r VOC BAIL HIM oUr?-A man.
very much Intoxicated, was taken to the sta
ton house. "Why did YOU not bail him suit ?D
inquired a bystander Of a friend. "Bail bin
out p exclaimed he other; "ghy, you could
not pump him out ~
a baker recently waited on one OF his Gus
toners to know how it was be did net intend
to take any more bread Of him, and was told
in reply Chat be bad never given him a Job
The baker was perfectly satisfied with the rea-
SON for the customer was an undertaken.
"Have you not mistaken the pew, sir ?7
blandly said one Of those Sunday Chesierfelds.
as, with emphatic gracefulness, be bowed a
stranger out Of bis pew.
"Ibeg pardon" replied the stranger, rising
to 20 out, 81 fear I have. l mistook it for a
Christians"
A NICE DIsTINcTIoE.-A witness on a re-
cent trial in one Of the superior courts admit
ted hat she had seen the respondent "tipsy,n
but denied that she had seen her "drunk.D
Upon being asked to define the Inference be-
tween the two expressions, she said that drunk
meant every stupid" but tipsy only meant
"Rot bright"
Conscientious old Genleman-aLet as see,
your fares two s~hiilings, and six pence for
this little lady-she's over age.U
CabbY Cwith en- 1tiOn)-"NoI Is she reilly,
sir I Lor' blees FER little Fart, shs've survived
a very dangerous per'd Of her life, sir. Un-
common plumber o little dears there must Re
as dies IN their binfancy-that's nv Experience
as a cabman, sir. Thank you, sir.O
Public C~oEvEEIENcE A friend Of ours,
who has A very reliable clock in bis drug store.
ia terribly annoyed by boys running in TO in
qulTe The time Of day. The other evening, as
we were buying a cigar, a little shaver came
IN With The Csusl-HPlesse, sir, tell me what
time it is?" "Why, ! gave you the time not
a minute ago. said the sstonlshed apoths-
cary. eyes, SIR replied the lad, "but this is
for another womanP'
In WANT OF POCKET MoNEY.-" Unele.D
said a ysung mfn, who thought that his guar
dian supplied him rather seldom with poeket
money, yet be felt a little hesitation in begin
ming an assault on bis relatives generosity,
"ts the queens head still on the shilling
piece 20
"0f course it is, you stupid lad. Why do
you ask that, you scamp ?'
because it 10 now such a length OF time
since | say one.D
At a party a few evenings since, as a young
gentleman named Frosr, was eating an apple
ii q quiet corner bY himself A young lady
came up, and gaily asked him why be did not
share it with her. He good naturedly turned
the side which was not bitten toward her, say
ing, "Here, take it, II you wish.7 "No,
thank YOU" she exclaimed, looking at him
srehly, q would rather have one that Is not
frost-bitteni =" aud ran of to Join the COMPANY,
leaving poor Frost with a thaw in bis hsart.
A musical composer recently visited the Isle
o. Thanst, and while pacing the deck, during
a heavy squal, was extremely annoyed 10 per-
eeive that the spray bad damaged the lace end
other iRery in which a young lady (as he sup
posed bad bedizzined herself. She needed
not but turning to an elderly female, who
proved to be her mother, exclaimed, ala :
amt the waves Just ike cur s0apsuds 20 The
mamma Waa wFoth, but speedily dotted her
geRtiIity, by saying, " Hang il when you
come out a lady, can't you leave the TUB at
home p
An old topper was induced to sign the tenn
peranee pleage, which be kept vigorously for
SOM weeks. At last, ne got decidedly baluy,
and one Of his friends demonstrated with aim
for his faithlessness to his his obligations. He
answered "To be sure | signed the pledge;
out | was extremely dry, and all signs fail in
a dry time,'