Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1861-06-01
Gen. Joe Lane and the Beans.

The election is over, and nobody
can now be hurt by a story, and so we
will give them little sketch showing
off General Joseph LaEe's demagogue-
ism:
Joe Lane is some on demagogueism.
In this department Of the fine arts he
is first, without any second. David
Crockett ard ''Sooons Ogle" were no.
body to him. Indeed, if you took the
demagogueism out of Joe, you would
have him like a balloon with the gas
out of its body--a very small concern.
Joe had trick of knowing everybody,
and everybody Joe knew was his most
intiTnate friend. He would meet an
acquaintance as another man would
meet a brother he thought he
had lost at sea. He extends both
hands and makes his countenance rs
expressive rs nature will allow ofaffec-
tionate sympathy. Coming back from
Jefferson City TO Oregon, Joe fell in
with countryman, (Mr. Jones), near
whose house he happened to be travel
ing, before election. Joe recognized
him at once.
"Old fellow" said Joe, Good bless
YOU, how are YOU and the wife and
children? [ am glad to see you. ]
haven't fell III with anybody | was so
glad to see. have been thinking Of
you and the boys ever since l have
been to Uongrrs, CHATS the way Joe
spells it). Washington IS u dull place
hate to stay there--lively times here
want to come back and live with the
boys, where | can have good time
Old fellow, | tell you I'm glad to see
you again.
After some words, the man, plain
farmer, invited Joe in, saying:
General, you will stay to dinner,
won't you? %
"Certainly, Of course SAID joe
"a come on purpose. | want some
victuals [ can eat. The city victuals
don't suit me. | told Buchanan |
wouldn't give 4 cent for all their fCrrin
gimcracks. A good Oregon dinner of
pork and beans was worth all the
French restaurants could get up, and
more too"
After while dinner was put on the
table. 1t was, sure enough, Joe's IA
rorite dish, pork and beans. The pork
was only tolerable; the beans very
fine at least Joe said SO. lie crammed
himself; talked of the Mexican war
--politics--Joc Lane was very attcn-
tive to the woman and children prais-
ed the cooking-took more pork and
beans-nevcr saw such bcans-cooked
TO suit him cxactly-wantca the lady
of the house to give him some for seed
wanted to take them to Washington
for Buchanan--wanted to show them
fellows what good living was. He got
a package-put it i'll his saddle bags
talked some more about the Mexican
war-shool> hands-kissed the babies
took off his hat to madan-took anoth-
er horn of whisky and left
He Got to the next house, was Just
rs glad to see that man, and was ust
rs polite to that woman, was just as
attentive to those childrcn--took lit
tie Of that whisky--talllcd of the same
Mexican war; and those same politics;
and that same Joe Lane had thought
of this man much and often at Wash
ington; wanted to get back and sec
them all, Come on purpose to see
this one. Got buchanan to give him
a rare kind of beaus-the finest he ey-
cr seen; brought them all the way out
especially for the mans wife to plant
and grow in the garden; then took
them out of the saddle-bags (tEe iden
teal beans that he got at the last house)
and landlady was rejoiced; Joe took
another drink and left.
Unfortunately, Mrs. Smith come ov-
or to Mrs. Jones the next day, talking
of the news; Gen. Lane; fond of
Deans; great friend of her husband
got some .ef them beans took them
away to give to Buchanan. Mrs.
zones told her tale about Lane; good
friend of her husband gave her beans
from the Patent Office; showed the
package. 1t was marked in Joe's
handwriting: "Mrs. Smiths beenes,"
ssame Mrs. Smith had put up). Smith
is now in the Legislature and votes
against Lane.