Indiana State sentinel. (Indianapolis, Ind.) 1861-1865, 1861-06-12
Selette0 sflistrllanp.
ArteInas Ward i'm the southern Con.
federacy.
THE SHOW Is coNFIscATED.

THE SHOW Is CONFIscATED.
You have perhaps wondered whereabouts |
was fer these many dase gone and past. Per-
chans you sposed I'D gone to the ToOmb of the
Copy lets, tho don't know what those is. It's a
poplar noOspaper Erase.
Listen to my tail, and be silent that ye may
here I've been among the Seseshers, earnin
nv daily peck BY my legitimit perfeshun, and
havnt had no time to weeld my facile quill for
'the Crate Komick paper, !" If you'll allow me to
kote from your troothful advertisement.
My success was skaly, ard / likewise had a
narrer scape of my life. If what I've bin threw
is Southern hospitality" bout which we have
hearn much, then / feel bound to obsearve
that they made too much of me. They was al
together too lavish with their attenshuns.
went among the Seseshers with no feelins of
annerInosity. i went in my perfeshernal capa
= city. was actooated by one Of the most lof-
test desires which can swell the human Boozum,
. viz: to give the people their moneys worth,
BY showing them Sagashus Beests, and wax
Statoots, which, venter to say, are onsurpast
BY any other statOoist anywheres. i will not
call that man, who sez my stat00ts are hum
bugs, Eer and hoss thief, but bring him BED
me- and III wither him with one of my skornful
frown3
But to proseed with my tail. In m travis
thre the Sunny South bearded heap of talk
about Seceshin and Dustin up the Union, but
didn't think it mountd to nothin. The poti-
clans in all the villages swearin that Old Abe
(somesmes called the Praharie fower) shouldn't
never be noggerated. They also made fools of
themselves in varis ways, but as they was used to
that didn't let it worry me much, and the Stars
and Stripes continnered for to wave over my little
tent Moor over, | was a son of Malty and
member of several other Temperance Societies,
and my wife she was a Daughter of Malty. and
sposed those fax would secoOr me the inhuenz an
perfection of all the fust famerlies- Alasl was
dispinted State arter State seseshtd and it crowd
hotter and hotter for the undersned. Things cum
to cimbmacks in a small town in Alabamy,
where was premtorilly ordered to haul down .he
Stars and Stripes. A depytashun of red faced
men cum up to the door of my tent WHARF wus
standin taking money (the afternoon exhibition
had commenst, and my Italyun organist was ier
kin bis sole-sterrin chimes): 1--WE air, cum, Sir"
said millingtary man in a cockt hat. upon hi
and holy mshun. The Southern Eagle is scream
ing gthrewout this sunny land proudly and defantly
screaming. Sirr'
whats the matter with him." sez /, "don't
his vittes sit well on his stummickf''
"That Eagle, Sir, will continner to scream all
over this Brite and tremenjis landP
"Wall, let him scream. If your Eagle can
amuse hisself by screamin, let him wentl" The
man annoyed me, for / was bizzy maxim change.
"We are come, Sir, upon matter of dooty-"
"You're right, Capting. It's every mans
dooty to visit my show" sed /.
"We are cum"
"A1d that's the reason you are herel' sez I,
larfn one of my silvery larfs. / thawt if he
wanted to COAX I'd give him sum of my sparklin
eppygrams.
win you haul down the Star -Spangled banner,
and hist the Southern fagl'
"Nsry hist" Those was my reply.
"Your works and beests is confscated, 4
you air arrested as a spyp'
Sez /, "My fragrant roses Of the Southern
cline and bloomin daffodils, what's the price of
whiskty in this town. and how many cubic feet
of thai seductive food can you indoovidually
hold?"
They made no reply to that, but said my wax
fggers was confscated. axed them if that's 8
gineraly the style among thieves in that country,
to which they also made no reply, but sed was
arrested a spy. and must go to Montgomery in
iuns. They was by this time jined by a large
crowd Of other Southern patrits. who COMMUNIST
hollarin, "Hang the bald-headed aberlitionst,
and bust up his immoral exhibition" l was
ceased and tied to a stump, and the crowd went
for NV tent-that waterproof Pavilion, wherein
instruction and amoozment had so nuchly COM
bined, at Is cents per head-and tore it all to
pieces Meanwhile dirty faced boys was THROWN
stuns and empty beer bottles at my massive brow
& takin other improper liberties with nv person
as I readily obsarved-
The Seseshers conisticated my statoots by
smashin them to atoms. They then went to my
money box and coniscated all the loose change
therein contained. They then went and bust in
my cages. lettin all the animiles loose, small
but healthy tiger among the rest. This tiger hai
a excentric way of tearin dogs to pieces, and
alters sposed from bis gineral conduct that he'c
have no hestashen i'm servin human bens in th,
same way If he could git at them. Excuse me i
i was crooiI, but larfed boysterrusly when saw
that the tiger spring i'm among the people. "Gt
it, nv sweet cussp' / ihnardly exclaimed, a.
forgive you for bitin off my left thum with all m,
heartl Rip 'em up like bully tiger whose lar
has been invaded by -Seseshersl'
can't say for certin that the tiger serisly in
jured any Of them, but as he was seen few day
after some miles distant, with large and well
selected assortment of seats of trowsers in hi
mouth, and as he lookt as tho he'd been havin vi
lent exercise, / rayther CESS he did. You viii
therefore perceive that they didn't confsticat
him much.
| was taken to Montgomery in iuns and place
in durans vial The Jail was Ornery edifss
but the table was librally supplied with bakin a
cabbidge. This was good variety, for when
didn't banker arter bakn could help myself t
the cabbidge.
about howsever, and was very lonely special
lonely sell, put the few stray hairs ON the bac
of my head (Im m bald now, but thare was tim
when | wore sweet auburn ringlets) into dsi
hevilled a stait as possible, K rolln my ize lik
mannyyuc, 1 cride "Stay, jaler, stay! am nc
mad, but soon shall be if you don't bring m
suthin to talkr' He brung me some noospapers
for which thanked him kindly
AT larst got an interview with Jefferson Ds
WIS., the President of the Southern COntheverac,
He quite periite, and axed me to sit dow
and stait my case. did it, when he larfed an
sed his galunt men had been little enthusiai
- i'm confsticating my show.
YES" sez l, ''they confisticated me too mucl
ly. had sum HOSES con6sticated in the sam
way onct, but the confisticateer air now pound
in stun in the States Prison at Iniinapylus."
"Wall. wall, Mister Ward, you air at libert
TO depart. you air friendly to the South, know
Even now we have many frens at the North wh
symbathyse with US, and wont mingle in tn
fight"
sJ. Davis, there's your graft mistaik. Many
was your sincere trends, and thought certai
parties among Us was fussin about you and me,
din with your consarns intirely too much. Blu
j. Davis, the mint you fire gun at that piece
dry goods called the star spangled banner, II
North gets up and rises embassy. in defense
that banner. Not agin you as inlOoviduals-n'
agin the South eyen-but to save the flag. "
should indeed be weak in the knees, unsound
the helrt milk white in the liver, and soft in Il
ned, If we stood quietly by and saw this glorioI
Govyment smasht to pieces either by a furrin or
intestine foe. The gentle hearted mother hat'
to take her nauty child across her knee, but 81
knose it is her dooty to do il. So we shall ha
to whip the nauty South, but we must do it if 20
don't make back tracks at onct, and we sha
wollup you out of your boots J. Davis, il is m
decided opinion that the Sunny South is maxim
egrejus mutton he'd of herself"
"Go on, sir, you're safe enuff You're too sma
powder for me-" sed the President of the Soutl
ern Conthievraey.
"Wait till / go home and start out the Baldin
vii Mounted Hoss Cayalryl I'm Capting Of TIN
Corpse, and j. Davis beware, jefferson D.,