Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1861-08-03

Cover q fool with gold, and he will
pass current.
The skeleton in every mans house:
His wite's sknt.
When avarice rules. humanity is
generally absent.
The Dearest arm of the Service
The Briga-dicr.
He that borrows, binds himself
with his neighbor's rope.
When pride and poverty marry,
their children are want and crime.
The editor keeps the worlds day
book: the historian keeps the ledger
About all that comprise mems lives
are their follics, their faults, and their
miSfortuncs.
A Missivc from Missouri.-Good
for Scccssionists, and other vermin-
Lyons Powder.
Gen. Johnson promised his soldiers
a treot when the Union army came, he
gave them q retreat
The editor of the Charleston WeT-
c,ny complains that his wator-pipe has
been cut. Pity it had not been his
wind pipe.
An Irishman tells of fight in
which there was but one whole nose
left in the crowd and that belonged to
the tay-kcttle.
Don't rely for success upon empty
praise. The swimmer upon the stream
Of life should be able to keep ahoat
without the aid of bladders.
The more our ladies practice walk
ing, the more graceful they become in
their movements. Those ladies acquire
the best carriage who don't ride in one.
Ugly people are as anxious rs hand
some ones to pcrpetuate their features;
probably, having lived SO len, with their
ugliness, they have become attached to
it.
"A French bishop said lately in
sermon: "Let women remember, that
while putting on their profuse and ex-
pensive attire, how narrow are the
gates of Paradise"
South Csrolina asks for a prince
Of the blood to rule over her. We guess
the Prince of Walls would best suit her
feelings and emotions at this time
Louisville Jostrnak
1t is extraordinary how many de-
fects we can discern in friend after
we have quarrclled with him. The
same remarks apply to q woman after
she has rejected us.
"A school-master requesting little
boy who had been whispering to step
into the next room, is wittily spoken OF
by one of our exchanges as starting on
q whaling excursion.
The Richmond Ea0nsiaaer says
Gen. Scott is son of Virginia:-Un-
less the Old Dominion behaves herself
very well, she will he son struck this
summcr.-LouisuiJle dourasaA
"A SECESSION. paper wants 10 kno"
if the people OF t.he south ssar to be ter
rifiod by the 8 Awky, gan9ling son OF a
gun that now has control of affairs at
Washington. - 1t looks Ike it just now
"A NJ .ssachlesctts manufacturing
house is agrnir1g out in great Quantities
a new 5attcrn of under skirts; OF ''reo,
white and blue We trust, alter this ,
that 90 lady will object to shoa' hef
colo rs,
n young lady complained that she
+ lad lost part Of her earring ana 2. tho"sa'
it must ftare been1at cnufGD.
4 seA bad place to lose your 'car;.s,
miss, said an old servant to whom sbs 's
was relating her loss.
--THE Prescott Jour1aaZ sayg.-The,
roasted OK at Hudson lastThlrselay. has
| provoked good deal of inquiry as to-,
how an OK is roasted whole. It's done.
by driving him slowly around a bio fire,
When thoroughly cooked, he was kill.
ed, skinned, and set on the table.
-THE "WEr" DAY.-A prudent.
man advised his drunken servant to
put by his money for a rainy day. In
q few weeks the master inquireahcw
much Of his wages he had saved.
/ Faith, none at all,'' said he; ssist
raincd yesterday, and it al, WENT -,
-SsIn my time. MISS said a stern
aunt, ssthe men looked at the women's
faces instead of their ankles!''
"Ah, dear aunt, rctofted the you,1 !
lady you see the world has improved
! airsl is more civilized than it used to be.
It looks moro to the understanding.
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