Pomeroy weekly telegraph. [volume] (Pomeroy, Meigs County, Ohio) 1860-1866, 1861-02-15

But Ger who has the breeches on.
Dut should she. when the "kuot is tied"
Presume 70 put ~ hrssehes on,
ewesr by al tbs saints above
IN soundiy lay the switches on. lHosPEs.
uWhich was made first, the egg or
the chicken7
nA. Matchless misery--to hare CT,
gar and nothing to light it with.
nA- Indians may be considered the
"copper" faced" type Of mankind.
pg Why is kiss like some sermons?
Because there are two heads aud an ap-
plication.
The man who ruins himself by
law in the hope of running his neigh
Dor, Is fool.
B% Why must your nose necessarily
be in the middle of the face? Because
it is the scenter.
s0-It we're to be wished, that the
enemies Of religion would at least learn
what it is, before they oppose it.
s3r Many men are like glass, smooth
in the touch as long as tenderly handled,
but sharp and piercing when broken.
b~An eminent artist is about getting
up panorama Of lawsuit. 1t opens
in the year one, and closes at dooms-
day.
pA-A little boy in Vermont, who swal-
lowed . copper cent last summer, is
slowly dying by copper poison. His
legs have become useless.
J aea- Dr.. Franklin says that "every lit
tie fragment of the day should be saved. !"
0, yes; the moment the day breaks, set
yourself at once to save the pieces. .
: ~ The following epitaph, in Wash
iDgton, is a little boy who fell victim
&, . prevalent disease:
4'The little hero who lies here,
4 4ssi Was conquered by the die-a-rear."
~ ~ Woman's empire is matrimony.-
Here she is always in the majority-a'-
ways reigns, and Gas scurrilous bachelors
say3 sometimes storm.
aA-A man went to Judge to be quail
ifed for an Office. Said he: "Hold up
your hand, I'll swear you, but all crea-
tion couldn't qualify you"
s-Several young misses being ab-
sents from one of the schools in Salem
for an hour or two Of the morning ses-
sion, recently presented the following
excuse.
Should you ask US wherce this latenees--
Whence this lateness day by day,
We shonld answer, we should tell you,
Those hinge snow drifts blocked our way.
pA-A member of military company
was, the other day, at Utica, talking
about "going 70 the wars" He said if
he Bens he would take his child with
him. How will you carry it?" asked
the wife and mother. 80, strap it on
my back" said be. "Oh, DON'T" ex-
claimed the wife, sfor he will be the
first to be shott'
4 "A schoolma am in one of our dis
trict schools was examining class in
orthography. ''Spell and define aoow-
eret, she said.
4-l-O-W-C-I-C-U3 llLIIC AOWcT. NGul
off tow head in perfect streak.
r,.sWavelet.n
'sa-v-e-i-e-t, little wave, was the
prompt return"
aBRllet."
"B-u-l-l-e-t, little bull" shouted
urchin number three, who was innocence
personifed. Schoolma' am caved.
contentment.
IBID I understand you to say, Ellen,
that Mr.. B. is poor?'
He has only his profession
"Wil your father favor his snit?"
mo, 1 expect nothing from him" !"
"Then, Ellen, you will have to resign
fashionable society"
"No matter of that; I shall then see
more of Fred
"You' must give up expensive dress
'Fred admires simplicity
You cannot keep carriage
"But We can have delightful walks"
"You must take small house, and
furnish it plainly
s'Yeg for elegant furniture would be
out Of place in cottage
"You win have 70 cover your floor
with cheap thin carpet"
ooh, then I can hear his step the
sooner" )"
The following we clip from the
Holmes County Farmer:
Some days since we chanced to be in
company with several eminent divines,
who were relating numerous amusing
anecdotes of the pulpit. Among others
the following struckeur fancy as deserv-
ing Of record:
i was, said the reverend gentleman,
attending divine service in Norfolk, sew
sral years ago, during a season of some
excitement. While the officiating cler-
gyman was in the midst of most inter-
esting discussion, an old lady in the con-
gregstion arose, clapped her hands, and
exclaimed:
sMereiful Father, If / had enc more
feather iilmy wing Of faith, / weuld fly
off to glory.
The worthy man, thus interrupted, re-
piled:
"Good Lord, stick it in and let her
go, she's but . trouble here"
That quieted her.
E1-Goyernpr Wise's whereabouts.
The correspondents of the New York
papers have been speculating as to the
whereabouts of Gov. Wise, to which the
Richmond Enqairsr, edited by his son,
responds:
We cannot close our last appeal for