Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1861-04-27
Fun on the Chehalis.

Through the kindness OF MIR. VIM.
WRIGHT, (of mail and steamboat celeb
rity,) we arc put in possession of a
couple of manuscript newspapers, hail
ing from the region Of Fort Chchalis.
One is called The Chehalis Weekly Re-
publican the other, The Gray's Harbor
Times, and "devoted to science, litera-
turc, art, moosic, ct nonsense, and to the
interests OF Gray's Harbor." They are
published by Sidney & Charley, and
edited by U. Humbug. Both are we'll
gotten up. We give few selections !:
The ChehaHs Weekly Republican is and
will be published by the proprietors, and
edited by the editor; and if it should be
a failure, the fault will and must rest
upon those who don't buy it. We pub
lish it for our own amusement, and If
we should be so fortunate as to amusc
others for few moments, we consider
ourselves amply repaid. We shall make
it our special duty not to insert any per-
sonal illusions, (Which might cause us
to wear a shanty on our cvc,) or any,
thing calculated to offend the most f,s-
tidious, (unless we are sure we can
click" the person whose name may
find its way in our columns y and so
We send it forth, in the assurance that
those who read it will look upon it
with the same "eyes" as ourselves.
VALENTINE's DAY.-Wc did not get
any valentines; neither did we expect
any, and consequently was not disap-
pointed. The good old Saint was. we
believe, the discovcfcr of Gray's Ilar-
Dor, in 1902; and not being of an avari-
cious htmtun', gave it to the Jews. but
reserved Skaters Island, which he
named after himself, Gn honor of his
brother Cupid which name it bears to
this day.
We hear great deal every day OF
Union to be maintained by the "bayo-
nets point and cannom's mouth" and
like the sentiment amazingly, as we sit
by our firesidc, in our own arm chair,
big with kindly feelings and mccr-
schaum pipes. Yea! as somebody says,
our hearts pantcth for the prey, ike
as the hart doth for the water-brooks." '"
Old Bucks intimate friends have
recommended him to take something
a little prussic acid-just enough to
keep his spirits up-not less than an
ounce.
The majority of the people between
Armstrong; and Smiths Point are for
secession.
The corporation is being extended,
and an increase Of population is en-
pectcd.
Owing to the late heavy storms, the
telegraph between Cape Flattery and
Grav's Harbor is down. No news from
the Straits Of Fuca.
THEATR,CAL.-The new and laugha-
bic farce of "IIow to get Blanket in
Bottle" written by Cap, is being
played to crowed houses nightly.
Don't forget the Bummcr's Ball on
Tuesday night. twill be an excellent
affair. Supper as soon as low tide:
BooKs.-IIistory of the Next War !;
beautifully illustrated. Alinanacs for
1892. An excellent article; every fami-
w SnOulu uUVc OuCs ~ VIII WI yoU
what day of the month Christmas
comes on, and when the 4th Of July is;
when it is going to rain, and when it
amt many valuable receipts to cure a
horse if you have one, and how to use
horse if you hav'nt any. These
books will he sold cheap for cash.
An advertiser begs to announce to
the world ut large, that he is prepared
to take contracts for settling the affairs
of nations at the shortest notice. The
attention of Francis Joseph is respect
fully solicited. Orders from Nicaragua
and Central America promptly attend
cd to. The above would also state that
he has on hand over 1000 recipes
Armstrong; and Whitworth's-for cur
ing ambition and unnatural desire tor
the acquisition of territory. n. B.
Phelan's improved billiard tables tor
the settlement for foreign treaties, with
or without Napoleon cues, constantly
on hand.
New NAMES FOR OLD TMINas.-En-
forccment of the laws-Coercion.
Treason against the United States
SecessiOn