Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1861-01-18
The Last Drink.

Dan James has a wife, an ACCOMPLISHED
and beautiful lady, who loves him devotcdly;
but she finds too many bricks in his hat
One night he came home tight, and was not
much astonishcd, but rather frightened. to
find his worthy lady sitting up for him. Shc
always does. She smiled when he came in
That she always does.
i" You stayed out so late" she said, "thot
feared you had taken sick.'' aa1|
!" hic-ain't sick, wife; bbut don't you
think I'm little tight ~ -
a very little. perhaps, my dear; but that
Is nothlng.-you have so many friends. YOU
say, you must join them in glass, once in n
+" Wife, you are too good--the truth is I
am drunk -.~ - :. =
"Oh, no indeed, my dcar--t am sure even
another glass wouldn't hurt you. Now, sup
pose you take glass of Scotch ale with me
just MS night cap, my dear" SO
,ll "YGa % are too good by half, my dear;
"Oh, no, only a julep too much, love, that
is all. Wen take glass Of ale at any rate:
It cant hurt you, my dear; want ono my.
self before retire" -
The lady FASTENED to open bottle. and ne
she placed two tumblers before her on m,
SIDE board, she put into one powerful e,nct.
ic. Filling the glass with the foaminr AID.
she handed it, with most bcwitching Smile
to her husband. Suspicion came cloutlilv
upon his mind. She had never been SO kind
before when hc was drunk. He looked mt
the glass, raised it to his lips then hcsitatcd.
Dear, won't you taste mine, to make il
sweoter!" he said.
Certainly. love- replied the lady, taking
q mouthful, which she was very careful not
to swallow. .~.5 --,' -
Suspicion vanished; and SO did the ale.
emetic and all, down the throat of the salts.
fled husband. After spltting out the taste
the lady drank her ale, but seemed in no
hurry to retire She fixed foot tub of wa.
ter D fore aa easy chair, for which the hus.
band was curious to know the reason.
lew minutes after, thegulp and splurge from,
the throat Of the husband told the answer
The brick was gone when he arose from
the easy chair, and he never after carried one
home to his wife. 80
HATTIE TfyG on Snow -BALLING.--Y You
know what fun it is to snow ball, presume
reader mine. Perhaps you have recollections
OF your schooldays, and Of the delicious feel.
ing OF the arrival OF huge roll of snow in
your neck, or between your two eyes. Per.
haps You remember Of having your face rub
bed in cold snow, by q pair of soft hands.
and the fierce way i'm which you threatened
TO retaliatc, but wouldn't have done II for the
world Perhaps you remember taking some
body's part in o game Of snow -balling, and
firing awful hard snow-bals at great lub
beriy boy who was rude enough 70 hit her.
Riding down hill on slcds is glorious; haven't
VIC all had fun 1t that in eur day Skating
Is perfectly magnificent! such glee ss there
il in cutting through tho keen an--alrrost
upon wiugs-but . rough and tumble game
OF snoW-balling has afforded Inc more fun
than any other winter-sports; so here's my
vote for snow-balling against al other games
with which % cheat winters tedious hours
Of their weaIinesss. 70
Two BluSDsas.-A Southern eilltoe, souas
years ago, in attempting TO compliment Gen.
Pillow as "battle-scarrcd veteran" wus
inadc by hetypes to call him 4 - baftie-yfnr.
"a veteran" In tAs next issue the mistsks
was 20 far covrccted IS e style him . = 5ott,s
scofred dveterxMsss9 fo csf;5' sTsi'srs' j, s ss3f
ar.r5 .ssssass1S = e --aa s'rssses ssff
\ rcurs man idle. oid usn needy.