The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1861-05-16
! fun. Let's play Puss in the corner. What

sum fun. Let's play Puss in the corner. What
say?'
- Air you a Shaker, sir?" they axed.
Wall, my pretty dears. ! hayn't arrayed my
proud form in u long weskit yit, but if they was
all like you perhaps I'd jine EN-. As 1t l., I'm
n Shaker prO-tempOrary.'
They was full Of fun. | seed that at fust, only
they was q leetle skeery. | tawt EN- Puss in the
time, keepin quiet of course - the old man
shouldn't hear. When We broke up sez |, - my
pretty dears, ear | 20 you hav no objections, hav
you, to a innersent kiss at partin?'
"Hay," they sd, and | yay'd.
went up stairs to bed. 1 spose I'd bin snOO-
Yin half a hour when ! was woke up by "A noise
at the door. >Ot up in bed, leanin on my ELDERS
and rubin my eyes, and | saw the folleriH pic
ter The Elder stood IN the doorway with a taller
candle in his hand. lie hadn't 40 welrin appeT-
rel On except his night close, which futtered in
the breezes like a Fourth Of July flag. He sed,
- You're a man Of sin - then grOaned and went
away.
went to sleep again, and drempt Of runnin
OFF with the pretty little SbakeTes-, mounted en-
my CalifOrny Bar. | thawt the Bar insisted on
stecrin strate for my d~0Oryard in Baltinsyllie.
and that Bet-ey Jane cum out and give ~ a warm
recepshun with a painful Of Bilin water. | was
woke up aTly by the Elder. lie sed refreshments
was reddy for me down stairs. Then sayin | was
a man Of sin, be went groanin away.
As | was goin threw the entry TO the room
III Lif tANlt= VIZ 4 cum dCibSo Li' i@A'AIA anu
the old female I'd met the night before, and
what dye spOse they was up to? Huggin and
kissin like young lovers in their gushingist state.
SCI l My Shaker friends, | reckon you'd better
suspend the rules and git married ="
You must excoos Brother Uriah,' sed the
female &. he's subject to fits. and hain't got no
command over hisself when he's into EN-"
'Sartinly,' SCI |, I've bin took that way
myself frequent"
:" You re a man of sin - sed the Elder.
AFTER breakfast my little Shaker friends cum
IN agin to clear away the dishes.
My pretty dears,'' sz l, shall we gay
AGAIN.
Nay" they sed, and I nay'd.
The Shakers axed me 10 90 To their meetIn. as
they was 70 hav sarvices that mOrnin, so | put on
a clean billed rag and went. The meetin house
was as neat as a pin. The floor was white rs
on hand, in clean westkits and meal bags. ranged
on the floor like millingtery companies, the mails
on one side of the room and the females on tOther.
They commenced clappin their hands and singin
and dancin. They danced kinder slow at fust,
but rs they got warmed up. they shaved it down
very brisk, | tell you. Elder Uriah, in particu-
lar, exhiberted Il right smart chance of spryness
in his legs, considerin his time of life, and as he
cum Il bubble shuttle near where | sOt, / reward
ed him with Il approvin smile and sed GOOD
boy. Go it, my gay and festive cuss!"
You're Il man of sin - he sed, cOntinnerin
his shuttle.
The Sperret. as they called it. then moved Il
short fat Shaker to say a few remarks. He sed
they was Shakers and all was excl. They was
the purest and seleckest people on the yearth.
Other people was sinful as they could be, but
Shakers was all right. Shakers was all goin
kerslap to the Promist Land, and nobody want
goin to stand at the gate to bar 'em outfit they
did they'd git run over.
The Shakers then danced and sung agin, and
arter they was threw, one of 'em axed me what |
thawt of it.
Scz |, 8 What duz it signerfy?"
- What?'' seq he.
why this iumpin up and singin? This long
weskit bizniss, and this anty-matrimony idee?
My friends, you air neat and tidy. Your lands is
iOwin with milk and honey. Your broOms is
fine, and your apple sass is honest. When a man
buys a kag of apple Sass of YOU he don't find Il
CRATE many shavins under a few layers of sass-a
little Game I'm sorry to say some OF my New
Englan ancestors used to practiss. Your glrdlng
seeds is fine, and if | should sow 'em ON the rock
of Giberalter probly | should raise Il good mess of
garding sass. You air honest in your dealing.
You are quiet and don't disturb nobody. For all
this I give YOU credit. But your religion is small
pertaters, | must say. You NOPE away your lives
here in single retchidneSs, and as You air all by
yourselves nothing ever conflicts with your pc
cooler ideeS, except when Human Mater busts out
among you as | understand she sometimes do
I'd give Uriah n sly wink here, which made the
old Teller squirm like a speared Eel.
You wear long weskits and long faces, and
lead a gloomy life indeed. No children's prattle
Is ever hearn around your hearthstuns-you air
in 4 dreary fog all the time, and you treat the
jolly sunshine of life as tho it was a thief, drivin
it from your doors by them weskits, and meal
bags, and pecOOler noshuns OF yourn. The gals
among you, some of which air n slick pieces of
caliker a. | ever St eyes on. air sym 70 place
their heads against weskits which kIyer honest,
manly hearts, while you old beds fool yerselves
with the idec that they air fulfllin their mishun
here, and air contented. Here you air, all pend
up by yourselves, talkin about the sins Of Il world
that you know nothing of. Meanwhile said
world containers to resolve round ON her own
a~xeltree Onct In every 24 hours, subjeck to the
Constitushun of the United States, and is Il very
pleasant place Of residence. Its a unnatural, on
reasonable and dismal life you're leadin here.
So il strikes me. My Shaker trends. | now hid
YOU a welcome adoO. You hav treated me eX-
ceedin well. Thank you kindly, one and all.
"a base exhibitor Of depraved monkeys and
onprincipled wax works - sed Uriah.
:. Hello, Uriah,' SCI |. I'D most forgot you.
Wall. look out for them fits of yourn, and don't
ca tch cold and die IN the flour of YOUR Youth and