Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1861-05-03
Fact, Fun and Fancy.


- Who is very unpopular officer with
some of the ladies ?-General homework.
- Husbands and letter-paper should always
be we'll ruled.
- If you marry q scolding woman, your
children will be hot-house plants.
= Which is the best way Of retaining wo-
mans affections 2-by not returning them.
Why is bad shot like an amusing felow2
Because he is the boy to keep the game alive
1T is better to keep children to their duty
by sense of honor and by kindness, than by
the fear of punishment.
Men who endeavor to look fiercely by cul-
tivating profuse whskers, must be hair-em-
scar-em fellows.
- Happiness must arise from our own tenn
per and actions, and not Immediately from any
external conditions.
- There is Gaelic proverb -" If the best
mans faults were written on his forehead, il
would make him pull his hat over his eyes"
A lady must think she has something
valuable in her head, if we may judge from
the number of locks she keeps upon it.
- The human heart, like a we'll, If utterly
closed in from the outer world, is sure to
generate an atmosphere Of death.
- Which is the queen Of roses in the gar
den? The rose Of the watering pot, for ii
rains over all the others.
- DR.. Franklin observes: "The eyes of
others are the eyes that ruin us, il all but my
self were blind | should neither want fine
houses or fine furniture
= The editor of New York paper, MOTTO
ing the marriage of Mr.. Hawks and Miss
Thomas, expresses hope that they will raise
"a young brood of Tommy Hawks"
"A dun was somewhat taken aback, the
other day, by the GOODNESS with which debt
or said -" Call on next Thursday, my dear
sir, exactly at 10 o'clock, and I'll tell you
when you can call again.
The Young Mems Debating Society, hav-
ing dismissed the question: "Wherc does FIRE
go TO when it goes out?' have got new and
more exciting one up" When house is de-
stroyed by FIRE, does it burn up, or does it
burn downS'' There is to be a earn debate
on this question.
- The editor of one of our exchanges is
dangerously romantic ON the delights Of
spring, and among other fine things, he says,
'the spring reminds us of the season of in.
nocence, when man first entered the Garden
Of Eden" Then we suppose The fall reminds
us of the time when they came out.
oil diggers are often annoyed by visitors,
who come along and make thousand inqui-
ries. " Have you got oil?" " How far down
shall you go2'' etc, are repeated till the oil
digger looses his patience. One of them re-
Gently painted sign which he pointed to
when asked how far down he intended to go.
1t read, "'Till strike oil, hell or China"
- Facts are stubborn things" said a
lawyer to female witness under examination
The lady replied" Yes, sir-ee-and so are
women, and ifyou get anything out of me let
me know it," You'll be committed for
contempt" every well, I'll suffer Justly,
for | feel the utmost contempt for every law
yer present"
-" Conc here, my little man, said gem
tleman 10 youngster Of five years, while sit
ting in parlor where large company was
assembled, . do you know me2'
"Yeth thir."
"Who am III
"You are The man that kithed man when
pappa was in New AK"
A sPlRiTuAL ouTPoumSo. "A certain ''hard
she'll clergyman who was occasionally ad-
dicted TO strong potations, having imbibed
more than usual ono day, his stomach rejected
tue overdose. A number of his flock passing
by at the time, inquired what allied him. The
parson, who was on his knees retching VIC.
lently, spirited forth
"0nly outpouring Of the spirit -
-" Gentlemen Of the jury" said West
ern lawyer, I" / dom mean TO insinuate thai
this man is coveious person but will b,t
Eve to one that il you should bate steel ,raI
with new three cent piece, and placeit with
in three inches Of his mouth, you wou't
catch bis soul. ! would not--may Il pleas
hecourt, and gentlemen Of the iury--I would
not trust him in room with milestone, ane
with the Angel Gabriel TO guard itl''