The Grand Haven news. [volume] (Grand Haven, Mich.) 1858-18??, 1861-03-20
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.
. Hope is true riches.
. Fear is real poverty.

- rear Is real poverty.
- The song of tho new state of things
Hail Columbiadsl
- The only aid Fort Sumpter is like.
ly to get--CannoDade!
Ammunition for "tea-fght Gun
powder and canister.
- Fame like an eel-rather hard TO
catch, and great deal harder to hold.
= To keep apples from rotting-place
them in dry cellar, with family of chill
dren.
- A horse dealer, in describing used
up horse, said he looked as though he had
been editing newspaper.
- The husband who does not prefer
his own fireside to any other spot on EARTH
has no place to be happy in.
- No man can be provident Of his
time who is not prudent in the choice OF
his company. Neither can woman.
- He who gives pleasure meets with
it. Kindness is the bond of friendship
and the book of love; he who sows not
reaps not.
= A New York paper calls Lincoln
"The Anak of the West" No one will
deny he has knack of making very poor
speeches.
- Tho Boston Post says the most
vulgar brawer in the U. S. Senate is
Chandler, of Michigan-a mouthing ig-
noramus uncouth and disgusting.
- Women love to find in men diff
cult combination--a gentleness which will
invaribly yield, with force which will In
variably protect.
- Spurgeon sometimes comes out
with a good thing: Brethren" said
he, "if God had referred the Ark to
committee on naval affairs, it's niy-oplnlor
it wouldn't have been built yet" ~
- An old Count paid his addresses e
rich heiress. On asking her hand il
marriage, he frankly said: "Madamoi
sele, l am very old, and you are yer,
young; will you do me the honor to be
come my widow|
- A garrulous fop, who had annoyed
by his frivolous remarks, his partner Il
the ballroom, among other empty things
asked whether she had ever had her ear
pierced "No," was the reply; =" but
, have often had them bored"
= 1t is reported that somewhat j.
venilc dandy said to his partner at bal
, "Miss, don't you thirk my whiskers al
becomingp TO which Miss replied
"Well, sir,-they may be coming bl
haven't arrived"
- A Bremen journal contains the 70
S lowing advertisement: "a young gel
, teman on the point of getting marre'
: is dcsirous of meeting man OF exper
n ence who will dissuade him from such
Q step. Address," DC.
i - Some person asked Charles Jam'
Fox the meaning of that passage
b. Psalms" He clothed himself with cur
# ING, like as with garment" "Il
meaning" said he, al think is pla
. enouph-the man had habit Of swea
J. ing"
is - Some of the Southern papers a
r publishing side by side the speeches
President Davis and President Llneol
10 on their progress to their respective iel
W cf duty. This is a cruel mode of attac
h ing the qualifications of our Preside
ID elect.
u - Some statistical person, who b
vi figured the matter up, estimates that,
G. dollar was coined at every pulsatlon
n the human heart, from the birth OF
nc child until he arrives at the age oil SIN
n, years, the aggregate would not pay
81, public debt Of Great Britain.
n. "Didn't you tell me, sir,
he could hold the plow?" said farmer u
m green Irishman, whom he had taken
;c. trial. "Arrah! be aisy, now /! said L
zee "How the deuce can / hould it, and
horses drawing it away from met
IN give il TO mo in the barn, and, be Jab
ms I'll hould it with any body"
res - Mrs. Partington says that WI
ties she was gal she used to go to part
ey and always had beau to extort
or home. But now," says she, "tho G
tho undergo all sorts of declivities; the
re- of extortiug them home reyolves on u
dear selves" The old lady drew dc
her spccks, and thanked her stars
q she had lived in other days, when
nd could deprecate the worth of the fen
rco sex.
.ity - The landlord of hotel at the
oby ital of South Carolina posted in his
for, room, as mark of respect to the Lt
) of lature, the following notice; Look
ro- the following rules of order will
ruel hereafter observed in this hotel: N
pay bers of the Assembly will 60 TO the
ex- first, and the gentleman afterwards:
- ter reading it over he did not exactly
ever it. 1t didn't say anything about row
d to and blackguards; so, to caution
thor particularly, be added; "Nota BEL
Thy, Rowdies and blackguards VIII please