The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1861-06-20
..Rusty. sir. . Richard Rusty"

to learn, as he now does for the 6rsi
time. from File Clerk, that Messrs. Bus.
yty, Custy. Dusty, Fusty. Gusty. Husty
Justly, Ku'ty, Qager beer manufacturer
1usty, Musty. Nusty. and Pusty arc all
before him-on the list of applicants; for
unfortunately, our friend from Squam is
always down among the Rs.
But Mr. File Clerk No. 81, is a pa.
tient man, aud polite. He has been in
the Office a dozen years, and twill do
anything to oblige Mr.. Rusty Except
give bin any lucid informa.ion.) And
No. 81 refers the applicant to Mr.. Jones.
No. "A, next room overhead. Up goes
Rusty. Mr.. Jones sends him to Mr..
Buff, fourth clerk, No. Sc, up two flights
further. Mr. Buff knows nothing of Mr..
Rusty Squam's case, but thinks Mr..
Drabb can inform him about it. Mr.
Drabb can't say certain, but directs the
patient to inquire of Mr.. Redd. down
stairs, three flights. end of third passage
to the left, north. Rusty has no compass
with him. (aud really couldn't use it if
he had but find his man. Mr.. Reed
is very busy aud very short, but has no
doubt that Mr.. Gray (whose duty it is to
attend to these thiuss) can inform Mr..
Squanaty what to do about it." He
fud. Mr.. Gray sends him to Mr.. Green
Mr.. Green forwards him to Mr.. Bloc,
(who speaks English very indiferently.) J
Mr.. Bloc dispatches him to Mr.. Brown,
(the thirty-seven Browns ON the same
toor,) and Mr.. Brown hands him over to
Mr.. Black, up stairs once more. Mr..
Black knows nothing whatever of Mr..
Rusty or bis papers. and never heard Of
them but cisilly refer, him back to Mr..
Jopes, where be started from.
By this time Richard Rusty is DISCUS
ted, and thoroughly beaten out with run
ming over the stone stairs, be concluded
to 20 to his lodgings.
Next day he commeDces once more,
aud gets lost in the multifarious windings
and turns Of the great Department build
ing Before be has time to get his bear
ings again Office hours have expired, and
he returns again to his boarding house
attic to ruminste upon the mutability Of
human affairs generally. and of Office
seeking especially. concluding with the
philosophical sentiment that "Jordon IS
a hard road to travel"
Desperate, next day he finds File
Clerk No. 2l," with whom be originally
deposited bis papers, and Indignantly de-
nands his documents. After waiting
So veral hours aud making dillgent search,
with his papers 10 his hand be is admit
ted to the presence of the Secretary, With
whom amid his dispair and dissppoint-
ment-Rusty has bone to pick. !"
"I'm MIR. Rusty" be says abruptly, as
be enters.
"Glad to see you," responds the Secre-
tary.
"Yes. s'pose so." says Rusty.
"Where FROM, Mr.. Ru.tedl"
where 'front.'" exclaims the appli-
cant, who doesn't comprehend why the
Hon. Secretary has forgotten him
".Sqmam. SIR" be adds, vehemently.-
"Richard Rusty. of Squsm."
"Ah yes, l remember, Massachusetts
yes"
mo, SIR! Connecticut"
"Yes, yes. Exactly. New England
all same. When did you arrive, Mr..
Rustedr
a month ago, u more. Now, what
~ like to know, sir, is, an to have my
oficel'
"Ofice! What Office, sir!"
"What oficel" roars Rusty, amazed
"'chat Office! Why, the one | asked for,
Of course!"
"Well, really-Mr. Squam, We are
overwhelmed With business. you OBJ
serve"
Rusty is my name, sir; Rusty if you
please
"Very-sery, indeed, assure yoa, ;
says the Secretary.
"Sr?' exclaimed the applicant, per
picked.
"Grest confusion-terriblc rush for ev.
erythiDg. you see. no time to eat or sleep
- but your little after will be duly at.
tended to-"
Cant you fix it nowl" insists Rusty
"ImpossiblO, until can examine your
vouchers"
"Here they be" says Rusty, in tri.
uuph.
"Yes. Go to Mr.. File Clerk No. 81
and"
"No, shan't," said Rusty, bravely.-
"No, sir! You can't come that, yot
know, no nore-on me! I've been there
He sent me to Jones, be to Drab, he t.
Brown. be to Gray, he to Greenland Sc
on, to Blue, Gizzle, and Black. That
played out, MIR. Secretary. So, s'posiDg
you sign. right here"
Really. Mr.. Musty, should b
glad"
Rusty. SIR"
Eyes, Rusted, should be glad-but
everything IN course. you know. Mus
have system, you see."
Then you won't sigDl"
"Cau't at present, really" says the Be
cretsry.
NJ Richard Rustv. in his rage, delib