The Buchanan County guardian. (Independence, Buchanan County, Iowa) 1858-1864, 1861-02-12
|" Well, well !"

| Il couldn't 60 to sleep. Igot up de
termined to ask your pardon +; you'l
never forgive me, but, A."
Go on, go on, out with it."
"Mr. Dodge, are we in danger?'
said the fine, small voice of the littl
bride. her bright eyes and pretty littl
night-cap appearing in the background.
lawful too bad. ma'am shall nev
er forgive myself"
And here Dodge actually threw VI
the whites of his big eyes and sighet
twice
"What danger-how-where ?" sale
the married couple, in one breath.
Tell us all, sir !" exclaimed the hus
band.
Yes, yes, for mercy's sake, do !!
said the wife.
"Then if l must, / must" sale
Dodge. You are not man and wife !"
What z" said the husband.
Mr.. Dodge r. said the wife.
Fact, | ought to be hung and quar-
tered-my fault"
"What do you mean, sir ? You dom
pretend--"
!" Yes do it's fact, SIR"
whats fact, Mr.. Dodge ?" inquir
ed the alarmed bride.
Not married - all sham - my
fault !"
5000. I'm-I'm"
Here the husband, as he supposed
himself, caught his wife, as she supposed
she was, just as she was about to swoon.
"Mr. Dodge, this is shabby business
sir" said the supposed husband.
Il know it," said Dodge. Il con,
fess all. | regret it severely, sir.
could not a-a-I couldn't sleep, sir.
got up determined-to make all the
Misery you could, sir % said the
supposed married man.
mot at all, sir did it as Joke
"A joke, sir! It's villainous, sir p
But I'll repair it, sir. I'll run of
to the minister's"
Don't meddle any more, sir. TAX,
yourself off, sir, and leave us to ourselves
go |"
The husband was about to shut th,
door. This brought the lady too. Sh,
rushed to the door.
go. Mr.. Dodge, go--do go and ge
the minister at once-go, sir -
Never mind, now, it's almost morn
ing, my dear, then we'll arrange ,h,
matter without his intervention" said
the husband.
But the lady was determined--insist
ed. Dodge desired them to dress an.
come down into the drawing room imme
diately, and he would have the real par
son there, and there should be a prime
faeia, bona .fde, and veritable wedding.
So he left. The discomftted votarie.
of Hymen had their other friends arous
ed from their downy couches, and thu
amazed and vexed parties assembled in
the drawing room, and were soon con
fronted by Dodge and new parson
who put them over the ground again il
good and substantial shape.
The performance. however. took uT
the time until daylight began to peep in
through the windows at the sombre look
ing wedding party. when Dodge and the
parson left.
After breakfast the entire party being
again assembled in the drawing room
Dodge used his handkerchief about his
lips few times, and with slight hem
addressed the welded parties
"Mr. and Mrs.--. I've had Joke
l will not be greedy and enjoy all the fur
myself, but share il literally among you.
Mr. threatened some time ago that
he would certainly introduce to my es-
pecial observation well known quadru-
ped in less than six months. There is
yet short time left him to carry out his
determination, aud l beg leave to say
that this wedding has afforded me prob
ably the only opportunity shall ever
have to assure Mr. that the Joker
who intends travelling with me must rise
early in the morning, and be we'll loaded
with saws, in order to show TO my vision
a new species Of the elephant. regret,
Mrs. the inconvenience and alarm
may have caused you. unnecessarily per-
haps, for the first matrimonial perform
ance was genuine. the last was merely q
little bit of my nonsense T.
And with the entire party close upon
his heels, the incorrigible joker made
his exit.
BoILISG Corn IN THE EAR.-A cor
respondent of the Rural american. after