Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1861-05-23
aHit an0 a5amur.

Why must we conclude. when seeing
n pretty little female foot. that it belongs
to handsome woman? Because-'All's
well that ends uelk'
My lad said q lady to boy carrying
mail bag, arc you a mail boy?' Yer
doesn't shlnk I'm female boy, does yen?
Wanted Poppipg.-A lover, vainly
trying - explain some scientific theory
to his fair inamorata, said: The ques-
tion is ditiicult, and don't see what !
can do to make it clear Suppose you
pop it, whispered the blnshing damsel.
A contemporary states shat Mr.. TAFT
was run oves AND killed on the Cleveland
road the other day and adds that q sim
liar misfoItune' occurred to hi,n about
two years ago!
lhe chairman of political meeting,
seeing roway who was raising bis arm
to throw stall legg at him, bawled out
Sir, your motion is out of orderS
An Irish Pulace. A contractor over
heard one of his party lapepting bis hard
ships since coming to America; drawing,
for contrast, a bright sketch Of his l:fe
in She 'ould counthry'
oh, said the complainer, With o sigh,
'ay | wos only back again to me fathers
palish'
Your fathers palish is it? responded
a fellow-workman, with jolly squint of
bis eye at the distressed noble scion.'
Sure, an av ye wor there, ye moight
sthan' OH the groun' an reach yer han
down the chimbley an open the door av
! it,
Hit or Mtss.-In town not far dis
tant from the eastern border of this city
an attendant upon the public sabbath
worship there, was accustomed to make
responses so frequently, loudly, and Of
ten times inappropriately, that the pas
tor of the parish at length suggested to
him that it would be we'll to observe
more caution in his out ward manifest
ations of fervor. For time he was moro
guarded in his excamations, but on Sun
day on hearing something from the pull
pit of more than usual interest to him, he
electrified the audience by shouting forth,
"Amen! Hit 9r MiSSf"
Trying ats Color Il had stopped at q
store in Missouri to purchase some little
article, when my attention was directed
to an old lady who was examining Ii
piece Of calico. She pulled i, this way
and that, as if she would tear IL to piec-
es, held ii up to the light in different
positions, spat on corner and rubbed
it between her fingers to try if the col
ors were good She then stood still a.
while, seeming not entirely satisfied
At last she cut of piece with the clerks
scissors, and handing it to a tall ,gawky-
looking giYl, of about sixteen. standing
beside her, said:-'Here, Liz Jane, you
ZEN char that, n sec eft fades.'-
I'd Liz Jane put it into her mouth,
1 dutifully went to work.
An lrishuoman appeared in the eoun-
court of Louisville, recently. to be
pointed guardian for bcr child, and
following colloquy occurred:
What estate has your child?'
'Plaze your honor, l don't under
md ye?'
What has he got?
'Chlls and fever.
A gentleman employing a porter IA
ed Russell, asked him jocularly:
Pray, is your coat of arms the same
the Duke Of Bedfordsl' (the house Of
lssell.)
Our arms answered the porter, ARE
oppose, pretty much alike; but there.
crest difference in our coats
Scandal, like the Nile, is fed by in
merable streams; but it Is extremely
fcult to trace it to its source