Holmes County farmer. [volume] (Millersburg, Ohio) 1857-1926, 1861-12-26
R7SEVITIES.

"'"D'D'
"THAT's very singular" said young
lady to a gentleman who had Just kissed
her. ooh well, my dear miss, l will
soon make it plural"
AS exchange gives the substance of O
verdict of recent coroner's Jury on a
man who died in state Of inebriation
Death from banging--round q rum.
shop"
MANY writers profess to teach people
chow to live" Culprts on the scaffold
would like to learn.
"MIsTER, owe you grudge, remeh.
Der that!" II shall not be frightened, for
never knew you to pay anything you
owed"
The Lancaster (O.) Union, q fusion
paper started for the purpose of breaking
down that staunch old Democratic organ,
the Ohio Eogle, after fitful existence of
twenty-one weeks, has ceased to live.
"WHo goes there?" said an Irish sen.
try Of the British legion at St. Sebastian.
"a friend, was the prompt reply" "Then
stand where ye are, for, be the powers,yer
the first ffiead I've seen in this murtherin'
country.
How can five persons divide five eggs,
that each man shall receive one, and still
one remain in the dish? Ans.-One
takes the dish with the egg.
An advertisement in a newspaper is
like circle in the water, continually
spreading itself. Throw in your rocks
and try it. r.
If sleep flies from you, don't 20 in ho.
pursuit of it; lie still, and it will prob.
ably come and kiss you.
Why is Greeley like Richard ill.,
Because the advance on Richmond floor.
ed him.
A GOOD story is told Of hard shell
missionary in Medina, who had become
mixed mp in land speculation in Mime
sofa. On entering his pulpit. recently,
he announced to his congregation that his
text might be found in St. Paul's epistle
to the MINES otians, section 4, range 3,
west.
IT is calculated that If the Potomac
army were placed in single file it would
take railway train, going at the rate Of
sixteen miles an hour, over fourteen
hours to pass along the line of soldiers.
JONES has discovered the respective
natures of distinction and a difference.
He says that "lttle difference" frequent
ly makes many enemies, while "a little
distinction attracts hosts of friends to
the one on whom it is conferred.
y GOOD story is told of Quaker vol.
unteer, who was in Virginia skirmishing.
Coming in pretty close quarters with q
rebel, he remarked, Friend, it's unfor-
tunate, but thee stands Just where I am
going to shoot, and blazing away down
comes secesh.
y Kentucky correspondent Of the Val
leg Farmer advocates a more extensive
cultivation of winter barley. He thinks
it more profitable than wheat.
The amount Of hay apd grain required
for army purposes is immense. $50 tons
of grain, and 215 tons of hay are issued
daily by the Government for use in Wash
ington and vicinity.
BY six qualities may fool be known
anger without cause, speech without
profit, change without motive, inquiry
without an object, putting trust in o
stranger, and .wanting capacity to dis
tinguish friend from foe.
GENERAL McCLELLAN's thirty sixth
birthday occurred on the Sd of Deem
Der. His friends gave social dinner
party on the occasion, and pledged him
for another thirty-six.
l WISH l could see your great feat, said
a lady to gentleman who had hazard
Gus adventure in the Mammoth Cave
There they are, madam, said he, extend.
lug his pedal eXtremities.
a SLEEPY deacon, who sometimes en-
gagen in popular games, hearing the min
lister use the words: 'shuffle off this NOR
tai coil. " started up, rubbed his eyes and
exclaimed; Hold on! it's my deal!"
Is a recent case, where one of the New
York Regiments took the fence rails be-
longing to a loyal Virginia woman to use
for flewood. Gen. w adsw orth issued an
order requiring the regiment to go into
the wood, cut new rails and rebuild the
fence destroyed.
THEY mean to raise tall students out In
Wisconsin. AncXchange paper saws: It's
board of education has resolved TO erect
a building lage enough to accommodate
FIVE huHdrea students three stories high
a rooR fellow says: In an evi. hour I
have been adictea to drink. From tina:
hour l have been going down until have
become an outcast, loafer, thing ofno
account; fit for nothing else on earth but
to be member Of Congress-
Az Irishmah employed on farm was
told by the farmer that one of his duties
would be to feed she chickens. This he
did daily; but he observed, with much con-
Germ, that when he gave them their corn
meal pudding, an old drake that was
among the flock shoveled it in with his
broad bill much faster than the chickens
could do. At last an idea struck him.
One evening, as usual, while Pat was dis
tributing padding to his fowls he conf
menccd soloquizing in the following
manner: 'Arrah be l. an here ye are
agen, ye d--d spoonbill vuadruped; ye
lay under the barn all day, and when l
say chi-ky, chi-ky, be st. Paterick, ye
are the first one here. an be .jabers ye pick
up three mouthfulIs all in one; an now
be iabcrs and I'll fix ye for that, an sol