Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1861-01-15
A STORY WArEE SPICE IN IF

We remember TO have heard in Yankee
Land Of young man that had hut lust
entered Iitu the sIlkcn bonds Of matrimGUy.
His wife, most amahle creature, had n
mortal hatred Of liquor; and though Tom
often INDUCED on the sly with his c,nyivial
companions, he took care always TO be
right side up on going home. lie would
not have his wife find hlm in such a state
for all the gold in the universe and vet
he could not sign the pledge Of total absti-
nence, fron the fact IF being the vice
president Of a club Of Jolly felluws, all of
whom believe in grape juice For at least
six months after his marriage, in the
presence d his better half he was as
s:rais hit as a pin and she had set II down
that blessing IN the shape # strictly
sober husband had fortunately fallen to her
1t
Tom" one morning, said she, lovingly.
1--WE have now been welded couple half
year, and never once have | had the
slightest OCCASION 10 seproach YOU
vi course Tum was delighted to hear his
dear little wife talk 20 ragingiv, aud
express happiness at his behavior ard he
repeated assurances of his determination
/ ~nyS to be an attentive, sober husband.
Bat IN the ocean cf life how little we can
teresee the breakers of Iemprationi Tenn
/ Tad I" dine that very evering with the
( Owls tthe orui'hologlca of his club !
AMI he felt in admirable shirts. and his
| health was drank warmly and freGuentIy
att'r the removal If the Goth the conse-
qucncC was that by the time the companv
separated he was in a happy state Of eie-
! vauOn, with vivid notion Of men, women,
| and all things terrestrial.
Iic-c'c C, | r.r>eaIiv believe Pm d j
| drunk - so!iloquized Tom, poisiug hmsel!
on his heels. with his arRS cIasppd endear-
lngiy around "A lamp post. - Wv what
he d. t-eyi', to b. done? Am d-d-feam>
lug. or am | d>t>ruuk-which is it? Will
somebody tell MP"
a k'ot OF ways Iassing at the moment,
hearing bis voice, rOared in combined tones,
You're drunk-heastly drunk :"
There, now, its out, and no more than
| s>suspected," continued Tom, mpurnfullv
! in a maudlIn voice. What will Clara
say, ugh? Curse that last iuIep, say-ii
| II hadn't been for that III have passed
muster but now she cat tell il bv nv eve,
| i ft-ieel as it had q drzen pair of ewes;
| and as FOR ton tongues, I've got a score all
! Vaughn away for dear life"
| Tom here losing proper and important
! equiiibr um, his heels suddenly few higher
Ia the air than is necessary for every day
cases ct pedestrianlem. and, per consequence
/ he was the next oment ia a most uUprn-
/ ciUus position in the gutter
" HE, he, this l. r-rich, | m.m-ust say
'Spcse Clara should s>see me nuw-'twas
only to-day she PIP praised my in in-tcg-
! rity. Tom, Tom, you're a 3 b-yes you
| are. so don't deny 1t you re Il b. beast -
BY dlnt OF series If vast eiIurts he sue
ceeded in gaining his feet, and proceeded
towards hume, Keeling and talking to him
self all the way After mistaking the house
next door, the door frunt Of which was the
! same, for bis own, be had an undecided
| search OF at least an hour for his latch kew
which he at length found in his boot, il
having slipped down his t-uuser leg through
hole IN his pocket.
Now in the hall. he leaned M against
the wall and undertook cUgitation. lie
could sufficiently gather his senses to re-
member the clock in his wife's room wa:
out OF repair, aud as she had retired, she
would not be able to tell the time he haC
got IN. That was grand point gained.
% know what I'll do I'll 20 tn bed il
the dark, and then she won't notice my
eyes, ruminated Tom. But hnld on
I'd like to forgot ii-shell smell nv breatE
how can fix that?''
lie puzzled q few moments, and in til,
end concluded to seek the kitchen, auC
NEEDLE slightly with the spice box. Dawr
the stone stairs he went, and after putting
his hand into half dozen various fluids
feeling into row of pans, jugs and dishes
at length he found handful of cloves
which he thrust into his mouth as if ther
had been 81 many sugar pums.
T>t~they're d-devilish hot ?" spluttereC
Tom, with his face all agluw :" but they
answer the purpose. How / wish Bol
Stiles was here tn tell me whether tht
brandy is sufficiently disguised"
SATISFIED that the fragrance Of the Glove,
had out odored the scent of the ardent.
he mounted the stairs, and, with the excep
ton OF couple of stumbles, gained hi
chamber in safety. Nov he wUuld hav,
been happy had his wife not been widt
| awake
by, Thomas, how late you are," sale
sbe, where's the candle 2"
Oh, never mind the candle" said he
IN as stead tone as be could assume
" It's not late"
=" should judge it was very late," sai
she F.; - dear me, l must have that clocl
fixed"