Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1861-08-24
Fact, Fancy and Fun.

Profitable reading. Contracts:
The return of the prodigal. Evil
for good.
Moving for new trial-co5urtine
a second wife.
= Sentiment of the Virginia Slave.
Is goiit to decamp.
The most efficient lances in mod.
ern warfare. Ambulances.
The Great Eastern IS simply q
bark from the British Lion.
How JEFF: Davis Impresses South
ern people. Into the army. .-,
The least praise worthy are gener-
ally most coletous Of praise.
- Cheating and jockeying at horse
racing are matters of course.
Life is beautiful night; in which
as SOME stars so down others rise.
= The greatest tory General of the
Period. The dila-tory Patterson.
- Comfort that the F. F. VS. can't
take this year. Old Point Comfort.
- The ultimate end of the great S.
G. Bubble. Dis-purs: and Dis-burst
There cannot be a more unhappy
creature than an ill-natrred old maid.
- Some people seem to think thas
umbrellas like physic are only to take.
"A s'ladies' shoemaker'' advertises
himself as one of 'the sole her SYSTEM"
Friendship, like Linburger cheese,
IS sold the more readily when strong
est.
The hearth Of Happiness or suffer
ing is IN our own breasts secret sane
tuary.
- Bent says if he was obliged to-
swallow man, he would take little
London Porter.
The following notice appears in s
corset makers window. call sorts Of
ladies stays here.'
"A chemist, however witless when
away from his bnsiness, IS, When at it;
never without his retort.
A tete-de-pont is field fortiGcs:
ton i'll front Of a bridge to cover the
retreat Of an army across river.
Model wives formerly took stitch
IN time now, with the aid of sewing
machine, they take one in no time.
- Holmes says a man always loves
a wo1nan, and woman man, unless
some good reason exists to the contra
ry.
According to the last census, the
details Of which have Just been made
up, the population Of Spain is Is $685.
900.
There are said to be two hundred
in the Sd Vermont Reg
lment, which has just gone TO the seat
of war.
- The Rebels seem to have mado
their stand at Bull Run, because the
very sound of the word has a fascina:
ton for them.
Gen. SCOTS Reasons for Shutting
Down on the Washington Correspond:
ents: Evil Communications Co5rrrHpt
good manners.
- He who takes the child by the
hand takes the mother by tie heart.--
This is probdbl} the reason why SO
many widows marry:
TO make chiIdren, nina !: First
consider them as children and hot as
old folks. Second, never coihHmand
them to do anything unreasonable:
The grasshoppers in Tulare Val '
ley, California, are not content with de-
vouring the tops of the vegetables, but
have actually commenced digging the
potatoes.
A MILITARY TERM "ABATIs' is q
military term, denoting trees cut down
and laid with their branches towards
the enemy, so as to form a defeLce for
troops stationed behind them.
- The following note was received
BY q planter from his oVerseer:
,'Please send by the boy two trace
chains and two door hinges. Jane had
twins last hight-also two pad1ocks."
Women, When they get together,
talk about themselves or their children,
their servants, their dresses, their RI
vals,' their 6ohhahqests, theH pfeasaies;
men, when they set together, tsff of
nothing but theft dear wives.
- The wealth of the country has:
more than doubled IN ten years. In
1850 it was about sever billions, now
it is sixteen. That makes us-each man,
woman and child-worth ,ouer han
dred dollars apiece: Let uS divide.