The Tiffin weekly tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1859-1868, 1861-04-19

hlc Clerk No. ~, whore he enquiries a
bout his "littlr affair" No. ~ has Eve
bushels Of unopened letters on his table
when Rusty enters
"Whatname, sirln he asks.
"Rusty, sir. Richard Rusty"
Our Office hunter is not little netiled
to learn, as he now does for the frs, time
from the fi!e Clerk, that Mcsss. Busty,
.Custy, Dusty, Fusty, Gusty Husty, JUS
ty, kusty, Lusiy, Musty, Nusty and pus-
ty, are all before him--on the list of ap-
plioants, for, unfortunately, our freud
from Squam is away down amongst the
RS.
But Mr.. file Clerk No. 81 is a patient
man, and polite. Tie has been in oficc
a dozen years, and ~will DO ANYTHING to
obligc Mr.. Rustyp (exocpt 10 give him
any lucid intormation.) And 30 No. 2i
refers the applicant 90 Mr.. White, No. a.
next room overhead. Up goes Rusty
Mr.. White sends him 20 Mr.. Buff fourth
clerk, No. 90, up two fights further -
Mr.. Buff knows nothing Of Mr.. Rusty
Squum's case, but thinks Mr.. Drab oun
inform him about il. Mr.. Drab can't say
certain, but directs thc tired aud patient
enquirer to Mr.. Redd, down stairs, three
flights, end OF third passage 10 the LOTT
north Rusty has no compass with hin
(und really couldntu use 10 II ne had) but
finds his man. Mr. Redd is very busy,
and very short, but has no doubt that Mr..
Gray (whose duty il is to attend to these
things) cau inform Mr.. Squumty "what
TO do about IT," II finds Alr. Gray. Nc.
Gray sends him % Mr. Green. Mr,
Green forwards him TO Mr.. Dloo-who
speaks English very indifcrently. Mr.
Bloc dispatches him 10 Mr. Brown,
.(there are thiry-scyen Browns on tho
same 1oor) and Mr.. Brown hands him
over TO Mr.. Black, up stairs, once more.
Mr.. Black knows nothing whatever Of
Mr.. Rusty or his papers, and never heard
of him or them-hut ciyilly refers him
back tO Mr.. White, where he started
from.
by this time Richard Rusty is dsnust
ed, and thoroughly beaten out with run.
ming over the one stairs, he conclude
TO GO 10 his lodgings Next day he CON
muncCs once more, and gets lost in the
multilarous windings aud turns Of the
great Department building. Before he
has time to yet his bearings again, Office
hours have expired, and hC returns again
TO his boarding house attic, TO rumnlte
upon the mutability othum0n Affairs gen-
orally, and of office seeking especially
concluding with the philosophical sen.
timent that "Jordon is u hard road to
travel"
Desperate, next day, he finds "f.e
clerk No. a. with whom he originally
deposited his papers, aud dindignuntly de-,
mnnded his documents After waiting
several hours, and making diligent search
with his papers in his hand, he is admitted
to the presence of the Secretary, with
whom-amid his despair and disappoint-
mout-Rusty has ga bone to pick"
"l'm Mr.. Rusty" he says, abruptly, az
he enters.
"Glad to sec you, responds the Secros
tary.
yes sposc So" says Rusty.
"Whcrc from, Mr.. Rustedl"
"Wherc 'front.' cxclaims the Appli-
cant, who doesn't comprehend why the
Hon. 5 crctary has forgotten him,-
"Squam, sir he adds, vchcmently, Rich
ard Rusty, Of Squlm."
"Ay, yea, remember, Massachusetts
yes"
"No, sir! Connecticut"
eyes, yes. Exactly. New England
--all the same. When d'you arrive, Mr.
Rusted"
"a moEth ago, N moro. Now, what
I'd like TO know, sir is, am to have my
ofiice"
coffee! What office, sir!n
"What Officer roars Rusty, amazed
"what office! Why, the one asked for
of COURSE"
Well, rcally--Mr, Sgyam, we are
overwhelmed with business, you observe
n
Rusty is my name, sir RUSTY il you
please"
"Yery-very, indeed assure you,"-
says the Secretary.
"SIrl exclaimed the applicant, per-
picked.
Great onfusion-torrible rush for
everything, you sec--no tim to eat or
sleeP-Lut your little matter will be duly
attended to-" ....
Cant you fix it nowr" insists Rus
y.
"Impossiblc, until l can examine your
Here they be-" says Rusty in tri-
%Ycs. Go to Mr.. File Clerk No. al-
ind"
"siri You cant come that, you know
no morc-on me! I've been there! lie
sent me to White, nc to Drab, he TO
Brown, he to Grey, he to Grecn-and 90
on to Blue, Grizzle aad Black. That's
played out, Mr.. Secretary, s'posing you
sign, right here"
Really Mr.. Musty, should be glad
"Rusty, Sir"
eyes Rustod, should be glud-but ov-
erything 10 course, you know. Must have
system you see.
Then you won't signp
"Cun't at present, really" says the
Secretary.
Mr Richard Rusty in his rage, deliber-
atoly tears his documents into shrcds,
and scatters them in the CRATE, eXcluim.
ing
"It's all right Mr.. Seeretgry. I've
been fooled, have. come here all the
way from Squam, spent nigh a hundred
dollars, worn out two good pair o. boots
up an down these steps, and |
give il up--I do. I'M 60 home to-mor-
row; an il you ever catch mo a-seekin'
Office in this high old town ogain, you may
Iust cut my throat, an won't grumble.
Good bye, Mr.. Hon'ublo Sec'tary."
fsGoOd bVe,p % responds the head of the
Department. with a smile; and Mr. Rich
ard Rusty retires, packs his carpot-bug,
and returns to Squam, a wiser and a bel-
ter man.
How many 'Richard Rustys" have re-
turned from Washington this season,
with such big "hea in the carr Us the
above denotes Certes, more than one !!