The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1861-04-03
How to Collect an Old Debt.

holding on to his money, until forced
by extra importantly to fork over
" There goes the old Squire" sale
Brown, the merchant. I've had &
bill of five dollars and fifty cents
against him for eight months, and if
have asked him for it once, l have
done it twenty times but he has eth
err not got it with him, or he will cal
tomorrow, or if not in good humor
he will swear like a trooper at my i'm
pudence in dunning him at unseason-
able hours
Now there was one Joe Harkins, q
wagish sort of fellow, who heard the
complaint of Brown, and resolved up
ON some fun.
Come, now, Brown" said Joe,
what will you bet | can't get the
money from the old squire before he
gets home ?"
" A new hat, said Brown.
" Enough" said Joe.
While Brown was hunting up the
bill, Joe disguised himself in striped
blanket and slouched hat. Thus pre-
pared, and with the note in his hand,
he started after the Squire.
Halo, is your name Squire To-
bin 2"
" Yes" answered the Squire, with
a snarl what's that to you ?"
81 have little bill, sir-collecting
for Mer chant Brown, sir.
+" Merchant Brown can go to thun-
der, sir y said the Squire. "Pve no
| money for him you must call again. .
Joe bowed politely, slipped around
the ally, and was just in time to head
off the old fellow at the next corner.
Oh, sir" said Joe, stopping sud-
denly, " is your name Tobin ?"
"Tobin, sir, is my name"
Here is little bill, sir, from Mr.,
Brown, the merchant
POUNDS, sir" replied the Squire,
didn't meet you just now around
the corner ?"
Meet me 2" replied Joe, "guess
it was B., another of Browns collec-
tors
"Then I suppose Merchant Brown
has two red striped collectors logging
my steps. | won't pay it sir, to-day,
BECOME" The old Squire as he said
this, brought down his stick hard up
on the pavement, and toddled on
Joe, nothing daunted took advan-
tage of another alley, and by rapid
movement, placed himself once more
in front of the old man. The old
mans bile was making him mutter
and growl as he walked along, now
and then giving point to his anger by
very decided knocks of his cane upon
the sidewalk When within about
twenty feet of each other, the old man
espied his striped friend once more in
front. Squire Tcbin stopped and ex-
claimed
"You Internal, insolent puppy, what
do you mean 2"
"Mean ST. You surprise me !;
I don't know you"
"Ain't you Browns collector that
dunned me five minutes ago 2"
No." replied Joe, 1t must have
been some other Of Browns collectors
You see, sir, there are forty of us, all
wrapped in red striped blankets-and
by the bye, Mr. Tobin, think have
small bill against you"
"Forty red striped collectors, and
each one after me p calculated the
Squire Darn me, / must put stop
to this; they will all overtake me be-
fore / reach home - saying which he
quietly pulled out his wallet, and set
tied Merchant Browns bill Of $50.
Joe thanked the Squire and moved
off, but as the Squire had another
square to travel before reaching home,
Joe could not resist the temptation
just once more. He accordingly made
another circuit, and came il collision
with the angry old man ere he was
noticed.
POUNDS POUNDS stranger" vo-
ciferated the Squire. /" What
Here he caught sight of the red
striped blanket, as Joe, disengaging
himself from the old man, took to his
heels.
Squire Tobin's cudgel was fercely
hurled after Joe, accompanied by {
hearty curse upon Merchant Brown
and his forty collectors in red-striped
blankets.
Joe Harkins was seen next day
topped off with a new hat.
A FEMALE FAGAN.-The Cincinnati
ii police have discovered VIII at MAJ
be termed school for crime. It il
kept by woman named Mrs. Nc
| - d 1,xv -.-oA~I