The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1861-01-17
ARIE;TY y


A flvorite impressiOn-A kiss.
Alcoholic Test-A red nose
stronger man than Dr. Winship-The shop
liter.
Keep alOof from quarres be neither a witness
ncr party.
Those who go to law for damages, are pretty sure
TO get them
An important reason for beneyolenee Is, that
though you may forget you own Joy, from being so
sccustOmed to it, the joys of others some
thing new.
Begin life with but little show /; you may increase
it afterwards
Did you ever know n person to believe ycu when
you explained how you got black eyes
When safety Is the father Of repentance, tempta-
ton will surely beget indulgence,
When the sky falls dollars without work will
be plenty.
When '' insanity - is legal. may hope that the
arts will flourish and beautiful churches abound,
but may depend having busy lawyers and
full Jlils-
When father makes - fortune that his son can
not spend, we may expect to find u soil that our
farmers cannot exhaust
When man learns the knack Of creating at WILL
We shall have fat cattle running at large in the
rVads, and strong teams at work on empty stomachs
When perpetual motion IL invented, it will be
prOlgality manures, and sagacity to rdicule
rotation
We notice IN a W estern paper the marriage OF Mr.
James Motley to Mist Bessie Crew. Their offspring
Will probably be a motley crew.
"a short time ago man became so completely
wrapped in thought that he tied up, la
belief, and sent of the ." train Of IDEAS
=" Mr.. A., understand you said sold you bar
rel Of cider that had water in IL ."
No, no - the reply, 80 l only said you
sold me barrel o: water with a little cider in it,
The aerUnaut, La Mountain, in his recent excur-
siOu from Troy, was accompanied by young lady
named Moss We will venture to say that no moss
vas ever before discovered clingng to mountain
high up.
Give n man the necessaries of life and he wants
the cOnvenences- Give him the conveniences and
be Graves for the luxuries- Grant him the luxuries
and be sighs for the e!egancies. Let him have the
eegaucies and he yearns for the follies- Give him
all together and he complains that he has been
cheated both in price aud quality Of the articles
SISTERS lSFLUESCE.-"l drunk once
said young the other day, - and shall
never forget IL. In company with several other
5Eial fellows, was induced TO drink pretty freely,
and By the time got home. scarcely knew where |
was, or what was doing. l was put 10 bed, and
how long lay there DO not know but when |
asoke, my sister sitting beside the bed, en-
glged in sewing The moment her eyes fell ON my
face, she burst 4 flood of tears, and wept if
her heart would break Overwhelmed with shame
for NY conduct, then formed resolution never to
get drunk again have adhered TO that resolution
hr some years, and mean to keep 1t -
The CsSsus-TAKERs, who are now busily ut work,
OCCASIONALLY meet with such difficulties well nigh
to deprive them Of their own sense The following
eo.loquy IL said to have taken place between mar
sh'l and Irish woman, in the adjoining county OF
Aontgomery - How many male members have you
IN the family - IS Niver one" when were
you married - - The day Pat Doyle left TIpperary
for Ameriky. All, well l mind it, sun-shiner
day niver gded the sky of ould Ireland g What
Was the conditi N of your husband before mar
rlge:' - D.yil a more miserable lie
sall that if didn't give him promise within two
weeks he'd blow his brains with a crowbar"
" Was he at the time Of your marriage single man
or UidOWer;" IS A which, wido1er, did you
sy:-Arrah, now 60 way wild yer nonsense Is II
The ike o me that would take up wild second
band fellow DO look like the wife Of a widower
pcoi divii all legs and consumption, like sick
turkey, widower May I niyer be blessed
wudn't rather live ouli maid. and bring up
family on butter milk and praties-"
HINTS on REAHISG CHLDRES--1 Children
should not 90 to school until SIX years old
Should learn at home during that time
more than the alphabet. religious teachings excepted
O. Should be fed with PLAIN and substantial food
a. regular intervals Of not less than four hours
L. Should not be allcwed to eat anything within
Two hours Of bedtime
5 Should have nothing for supper but single
cup Of warm drink. such very weak tea Of some
Alnd. or cambric warm milk and water, with
ole slice Of cold bread and Understanding else
D. Should sleep in separate beds. on HAIR mat
lsses, without caps, feet trst well warmed by the
IRE, or rubbed with the hands until perfectly dry
extra covering the lower limbs, but little on the
body.
Z. Should be compelled to lie out Of doors for the
greater part Of daylight, from after breakfast until
hlf an hour before sundOwn, unless IN damp, raw
weather. when they should not be allowed 10 go out
side the door.
o Never limit "a healthy child a. to sleeping or
eating, except n supper; but compel regularity as
" both {; it Is Of great Importance
. Never compel n child cit still, nor Interfere
win It's enoyment, long il is not actually IN
!arloqs to persons or property, or against good
morals.
10 Never threaten child (; it is cruel, unjust
sn1 dangerous. What you have TO do, do 1t, and
be done with it.
. IL Never speak harshly angrily, but mildly,
AindIy, and, when really needed. tirmly-no more
Il by all means arrange IL so that the last words
between you and your children 1t bedtime, esPe-
Saliy the younger ones, shall be words OF unmixed
"'Ingness and affectiOn.-H1H's Journal Of Hsdlh.