The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1861-10-17
From the Atlantic Monthly
The Front Teeth and the Grinders.
BY OLIVER WENDELL HOLMES

BY OLIVER WENDELL HOLMES
Once on time a muiny arose among the
teeth of a worthy man in good health, and bless
ed with sound constitution, commonly known
as Uncle Samuel. The cutting teeth,o incisors,
and the eye teeth, or CANNES, though not nearly
so MANY, all counted nor so large nor so strong
as the grinders,an by no means so white but
on the contrary, very much discolored, began to
find fault with the grinders as not good enough
company for them. The eye teeth, being very
sharp and fitted for Selling and tearing, and
standing out taller than the rest claimed to lead
them Presently one of them complained that
1t ached very badly, and then another and an
other Very soon the cutting teeth, which pre-
tended that they were supplied by the same
nerve, and were proud of it, began to ache also.
They all agreed that it was the fault of the grind
ers.
About this time Uncle Sam, having used his
old tooth brush (Which was never a good one,
having no stiffness in the )or four weeks,
took new one. recommended to him by a great
number of people as a homelY but useful article.
Thereupon all the front teeth, one after anoth-
err, declared Uncle Samuel meant to scour them,
which was a thing they would not submit to-,
though the whole civilized world was calling OH
them to do SO. So they all insisted on getting
out Of the sockets in which they had grown and
stood for so many years. But the wisdom teeth
spoke up for the Others and said:
d" Nay, there be but twelve OF you front teeth
and there be twenty of US grinders. We are the
strongest and a good deal nearest the muscles
and the joint, but we cannot spare you. We
have put up with your black stains, your jump.
| ing aches and your suappish looks, and we are
not going to let you go under the pretense that
you will be scrubbed white if you stay. You
don't work half so hard as we do, but you can
bite the food well enough, which we can bite sc
much better than you. We belong to each 9th
er. You must stay.
Thereupon the front teeth, Grst the CANNES .ol
dog teeth, next the incisors, or cutting teeth
proceeded to declare themselves out of theil
sockets, and no longer belonging to the jaws o.
Uncle Samuel.
Then Uncle Samuel rose in his wrath, anc
shut his jaws tightly together, and swore he
would keep them shut until those aching anC
discoiOred teeth Of his went to pieces in the
sockets, If need were, rather than have then
Grawn, standing, as some of them did, at the
very opening of his throat and stomach.
And now, If you will please to observe, al
those teeth are beginning to ache worse thar
lever, and to decay very fast, SO that it will taxi
a great deal of gold to stop the holes that arr
forming i'll them.
But the great white grinders are as sound a
ever, and will remain 80 until Uncle Sam think
the time has come for opening his mouth. Il
The meantime they keep on grinding IN quie
Wy though the others have had TO stop bltlni
.,, long time. When Uncle Samuel opens hi
mouth, they will be as re ,dy for work as ever
bat those poor discoiored teeth VIII be tende
for great while, and never be so stron as the
were before they fooiishly declared themselye
/ out # heir sockets.
The foregoing fable is respectfully dedicate
20 he Southern Plebs, who, under the lead
i their " Patriciar" master have " seeded llk
th,ir predecessors in the days of Menenin'
Agrippa