The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1861-10-10
The Front Teeth and the Grindc,s--t ia.
bic Cor the VitNes.

IN the October number Of the .i'"n-
lie Noothiy, DR.. Holmes has an article on
the Nv ormwool Cordial Of History
which closes with the following clever
fable:
Once on time a muti0Y ~ ~" among
the teeth Of IA worthy mao ma good health
and blessed with It Soaud constitution,
commonly known as l'nc'c Samuel. The
cutting teeth or inrL""rs, and the eye
teeth or crHincS. although not nearly 50
many, ull counted, nor so large, nor so
strong as the grinders, and by no means
50 white. hut on the contrary very much
li>cGlorrd, bcgnn to find fault with the
grinders as not GOOD c0ough company for
them. The eve teeth. being very sharp
and fitted for sicZinC and tearing, aud
stnnding cut taller than the rest, climed
to I,ad them. Presently ono of them
complained THAT it achvd vcsy badly, and
thpn another and auothrr. Very soon
the cutting teeth, which p,ctcndcd they
were supplied l., the Same nerve, and
were proud Of it, began to ache also -
They all agreed that it was the fault OF
The grinders.
About this timr, Uncle Samuel having
used his old tooth brush twhich was ncv-
cr u good one. lavinW no stiffness in the
Nri,ilcs( for four weeks, took new one,
recommended t. him by L great number
o. people as u hum ly but useful article.
Trlrcuron al the front teeth, one after
unothrr declared that lrclc Samuel
meant 20 scour them white, which was a
Ching lh,y nly,r would submit to, though
the whole civilized world was calling on
| them to do SO. So they all insisted on
getting out of the sockets in which the,
r had crown and stood for so many years
, But the wisdom teeth spoke up for tn
; others, and said:
, "Nav, there be but twelve of you from
teeth, aud there be twenty OF us grind
crs. We are the strongest, and gooC
deal nearest the muscles aud tho joint
but we cannot spare you. We have put
up with your black stains, your jumping
pains, and your snappish looks, and nov
we are not going to let you go, under the
prctcuco that you are to be scrubbed
white, if you stay. You don't work hall
SO hard as we do, but you eau bite tho
food we'll enough, which we can grind sc
, much better than you. We belong to
each other. You must stay
Thc'eupon the front teeth, first the ca
nine or dog teeth, next the incisors o
cutting teeth, proceeded to declare them
selves out of their sockets, aud no Iongc
belonging to the jaws of uncle Samuel.
Then Uncle Samuel arose in his wratl
5 and shut his jaws tightly together, anc
, sworc that he would keep them shut til
those aching and discolored teeth Of hi
/ went to pieces in their sockets, if ncet
G were, rather than have them drawn
, standing, as some of them did, at th
!. very opening of his throat and stomach
AihA ~ if you will please to observe
! all tho, ~ eeth are beginning to ach
worse thaH ever, and to decay very fast, $
f ;hat it will take good deal of gold to sto
= the holes that arc forming in them. Blu
, the great white grinders are as sound Il
ever, and will remain so until Uncle Sam
= uel thinks the time has come for openin!
p his mouth. In the meantime they kee'
C on grinding, in quiet way, though III
other, hA.y hai to stop biting for a lou
time. When IrGie sam opens his mont
c they will be rs ready for work as ever
= but those poor dlscoorcd teeth will b
l tender for a great while, and will ncvc
be SO strong as they were before the
foolishly dcclrrcd themselves cnt Of thci
u sockets.
The foregoing fable j gr~t t.rttutIy de,
:, icq, 4 to the Southern I',rO>, "ho und,
'- the lead Of their 81 i'atrjciri.' master
k have "seccdeI,' like their predecessor
+ in the days Of Nencnius Agcrippi.