The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1861-01-02

a Ne"sP9Per StOfys s., Il ar, zt.a. f,
Somfellow-a collector for newspspes
and other periodicals-lately threw up his
commission, and sent back the unpaid ae.
counts with "nctes," which the spirit hap.
pened to lay hold on, and they were pre-
sented in d tangible shape to the world.
As they are living pictures, met with here.
and elsewhere, we make extracts Til
collector says: ..-
To the Eaitor-Sr - You furnished nv
| as recollect, with list of one hundred
| and seventeen owing subscribers. have
called on one hundred and four of the.t
and have the honor of paying to your ord,
three dollars and twelve and one-half cents
being the amount to which you are entitled
| return you the list numbered from one to
one hundred and sixteen, and now give the
reply to each:
No. lis a minister. lie says in the
first place he never got onc-half the mum.
bers, "a lie according to the account Of tho
postmaster ard the next place your jokers
column was too scurrlous. Besides, he
knows by the tone of your editorials that
you drink He wants nothing more to do
with you-nevcr wants to hear from yo'i
again.
No. 2-Ts in jail for debt He has no:
seen half dollar for a year. Says he
would pay with the utmost cheerfulness If
he had the money, but had to borrow
shirt to put on last Sunday. Admircs your
paper wonderfully, and hopes you will
continue sending it to him. He wishes
you take a bold stand IN fago~ of the
abolition of Imprisonment for debt, as he
thinks it would te a very popular move.
with gentlemen in his situation. Sends his
best respects.
No. a--Is young doctor. Says youI.
paper is beneath the notice of gentleman
Would not give q for cart load Says
that you inserted an article rejecting upoI,
the profession. Only wishes he could catch
you here--woud make you slnell:--.-- l.
going to persuade everybody that takes
your paper to stop it. Cussed your bill,
and says you may get it the best way you
can.
No. Ais an old maid. Says you are
always taking fling at single ladies of an
uncertain age Wouldn't pay you if she
was rolling in wealth, and you hadnl
enough to buy crust of bread. Sent all
the the papers she had back month ago.
and says now she has sent them she don't
owe you anything. Says she is even with
you and intends to keep so until the day
of judgement
3, No. 5--ts a gambler. Says he has 90,
completely cleaned out last week at the
races, Couldn't accommodate his grand
mother with half dime if she was starv-
ing Likes your paper tolerably--wonld
like it better if you published more races,
and would occasionally give an account Of
cock-fght Hopes you won't think hard
OF him for not paying you now, but has
prospect OF soon having some loose change,
as he Is after rich young green horn, who
arrived here last week. VIII pay your bill,
out Of the pluckings.
No. g. Is a drunkard Hasn't got ay.-
thing, and never expects to have. Gather
ed up all the papers he had, and sold them
for half pint of rum to the grocery keeper
to wrap up groceries in.
No. lis magistrate Swo-e he neyc.
owed cent, and told me was low ras-
cal for trying to swindlc him in such bare
faced manner. Advised me to make tracks
in little less than no time, or he would
get out warrant against me, as common
cheat, and have me sent to prison. Is by
all odds the mcanest man | have seen vct
Never will so near him again.
No. SIS a policeman. Says that a..
though you profess to publish 4 neutral
paper, it is not so. Thinks he has Seen
considcrabl lie squirting towards the side he
| is opposed tc.
The collector concludes with "accep, .ny
| resignation, and strike the from the list OF
sgents. have been called swindlcr, rs,,
cal, villain, blood-Sucker. These arc some
Of the names they think proper TO bestow
upon me. | tried fighting while, and
thrashed some of your patrons like blazes,
but occasionally got licked like thunder
myself