The Shasta courier., 1861-02-23

| The great day came. 1t was ushered in by
the roar of musketry, the ringing of the village
bell, the squeaking of ffes and rafting OF
drums.
People poured into the village from all over
the country. Never had W experienced
such jam. Never had there been such an
onslaught upon gingerbread carts. Never had
New England rum for this was before Neal
Dow's day. flowed so freely. And W--'s
fair daughters who mounted the house. tops to
| see the surrender, had never looked failfr. The
old folks came too, and among them sevsral war
SCARED heroes, who had fought gallantly at
Monmouth and Yorktown. These brave sons of
! '76 took no part in the demonstration, but an
honored bench was set apart for their exclusive
use on the plaza of Sile Smiths store. When
they were dry, all they had to do was to sing
out to Ses boy Jerry, " leetle New England
this way, ifyou please" 1t was brought forth
with
At precisely nine o'clock, by the school mas
ters new "Lepeen" watch, the American and
British forces marched on the village green and
placed themselves in battle array, reminding the
spectator of the time when
" Brave Wolf drew up lis men
In a style most pretty,
On the Plains of Abraham
Before the city"
The character Of Washington had been as
signed to Squire Wood, we'll to-do and inau-
ential farmer, while that of Corn wallis had
been given TO the village lawyer, kind hearted
but rather pompous person, whose name was
Caleb Jones.
Squire Wood, the Washington of the occa-
sion, had met with many unexpected difficulties
in preparing his forcees, and in his perplexities
he had emptied not only his own canteen, but
those of most ofhis aids. The consequence was
-mortifyiug as it must be TO all true Americans
-blushing as do to tell it-Washington at the
commencement of the mimic struggle was most
unqualifedly drunk.
The sham fight commenced Bang bang |
bang from the Americans-bang bang bang
from the British. The bangs were kept up hot
ly until the powder gave out, and then came the
order to charge. Hundreds of wooden bayonets
flashed liercely in the sunlight, each soldier
taking very good care not to hit anybody.
"Thaz (hic) right" shouted Washington who
during the shooting had been racing his horse
wildly up and down the line THAI right !
Gin it to EN- Cut their tarnal heads Off"
"On. Romans" shrieked CORVALLIS, who had
once seen theatrical performance and remem-
bered the heroic appeals Of the Thespian bellg-
erents, " on to the fray No sleep till NOR
nin'."
"Let eout all their bowels yelled Washing
ton, and down with taxation on tea"
! The fighting now ceased, the opposing forces
were properly arranged, and Cornwall is, dis
mounting, prepared to present his sword to
Washington according to programme. As he
walked slowly towards the Father OF his Coun-
try he rehearsed the little speech he had COM
mitted for the occasion, while the illustrious be-
ing who was to hear it was making desperate
efforts to keep in his saddle Now he would
wildly brandsh his sword and narrowly escape
cutting off his horses ears, and then he would
fall suddenly forward ON to the horses neck,
| graspng the name as drowning men seize hold
of straws. He was giving nimitable repre-
sentalion of Toodles on horseback. All idea of
the magnitude of the occasion had left him, and
when he saw Cornwallis approaching, with slow
and stately step, and sword-hilt extended to-
ward him, he inquired
"What'n devil you want any (hic) how 2"
General Washington" said CORVALLIS, in
/ digni6ed and impressive tones, al tender you
my sword. | need not inform you, sir, how
deeply"
The speech was cut suddenly short by Wash
ington, who driving spurs into his horse play
fully attempted to run over the commander of
the British forces. lie was not permitted to do
| this, for his aids, seeing his unfortunate condi-
ton, seized the horse by the bride, straighien-
ed Washington up in his saddle, and requested
! CORVALLIS to proceed with his remarks
General Washington" said CORVALLIS, ''the
British Lion prosirates hmselfat the feet Of the
American Eaglel"
"Eaglel Eagle p yelled the infuriated Wash
ington, rolling of his horse and hitting Corn
wallis a frightful blow on the head with the fiat
of his sword, do you call me q Eagle, you
mean sneakin cuss?' He struck him again,
sending him to the ground, and said, I" III learn
you to call me Eagle, you Internal scoundrelPi
| CORVALLIS remained upon the ground only
moment. Smarting from the blows he had re-
ceiyed, he arose with an entirely unlocked for
recuperation on the part of the fallen, and in
! spite of the men of both nations, he whipped
the immortal Washington until he roared for
mercy.
The Americans, at first mortified and indig-
nant at the conduct of their chief began to SYM
pathize with him, and resolved TO whip their
foes in earnest. They rushed fiercely on them,
but the British were really the stronger party
| and drove the Americans back. Not content
with this they charged madly upon them and
drove them from the field-from the village in
fact. There were many heads damaged, eyes
/ draped in mourning, noses fractured and legs
1 lamed-it Is a wonder that no one WAS killed
outright.
Washington was confined to his house for
several weeks, utrecoyered at last. For time
there was GOODNESS between himsefa and Corn
wallis, but they finally concluded to join the
whole county in laughing about the surrender.
They live now. Time, the painter, has eifec-
.ually whitewashed their heads, but they are
very jolly still. On town meeting days the cid
Squire always rides down to the village In the
hind part of his venerable yellow wagon is q
bunch of hay, ostensibly for the old white horse
but really TO hide glass bottle from the vulgar
gaze. That bottle has on one side a likenes.
Of Gen. Lafayette, and upon the other may bs
seen the Goddess Of Liberty. What that boitl.
contained inside cannot positively say, but i
is true that Squire Wood and Lawyer lone.
visit that bottle very frequently on town meeting
days, and come back quite red in the face
When this redness in the face becomes of III,
blazing kind, rs il generally does by the tim.
tie polls close. 4 short dialogue like this MAJ
be heard:
we shall never play surrender again, Law
yer Jones y
Them days is over, Squire Wood r'
And then they laugh and jocosely punch eael
ether in the ribs.
I