Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1861-10-31
/" How sir y

Scooped him at W Waterloo. He wanted to do
to much aud he did it They scooped him
/ in at Waterloo and he subsekently died at
St Heleny There's where the greatest mil.
f! irary man this world ever produced pegged
out 1t was rather hard to consine such a
mar as him 70 S., Heleny, TO spend his larst
days in catching mackeril, and walkin up ard
down The dreary beach in a military cloak
drawn riteIy round him (see picture-book, !
but so it was He'd of the Army p
| Them was his larst words So be had bin
He was CRATE! Don't | wish We had pair Of
his old boots to command sum Of cur Brig
gades"
This pleased jerome, and be took me warm
ly by the hand
Alexander the Crate was punkns," l con-
tinuerd, but Napoleon was punkinser Alic
wePt becaws there was no more worlds to
scoop, and then took to drinkin. He drowndid
bis sorrers in the fowin bole, aud the fowiu
bole was to much for him. It giurally is
He undertook TO give snake exhibition but
it killed him. That was bad joke for Alic !"
Since you air so soIictous about France,
and the Emperor, may | ask you how your
own country is getting along 2" sed Jerome,
in pleasant voice.
us mixed" | sed &" Bat l think we
shall come out all right"
Coiiu;2bus, when be diskivered this mag.
nifcent continent, could haE had DO idee OF
the graodur it would one day assoom," sed
the Prints.
1t cost Columbus twenty thousand dol
lars to fit out his explorin expedition sed |.
" If he had bin a sencible man, he'd haT put
the money in hoss railroad or q gas company
and left this magnificent continent to the in-
teliigent savages who when they got bold of
good thing knew enough TO keep it. and who
wouldn't have seeded or rebeied, nor knock't
Liberty in the he'd with slugshot Colum-
bus wasn't much Of feller. after all. 1t would
hav blu money 10 my pocket if he'd staid TO
home. Christ ueut well, but he put his
foot in it when be sailed for America"
We talked sum more about matters and
things, aud larst | riz TO go. will now
say good by 10 you, noble sir, and good luck
TO you. Likewise the same TO Clotidy Al
so 10 The gorgeous persons when compose
your SCOT If the Emperors boy don't like
IiEin at the TooIeries, when be gifts older, and
woud Ike to embark in the show bizness, let
him come with me and III make a man of him
You fad Us somewhat mixed, rs | before 90
}
fud u clearer nor ever Ths American Ea-
gle has lived 20 sumptuousIy of Iate-his STUN
mic foul, and he's now takin site emetie
That's all. We're gettiR ready to strike big
blow aad sure oue Wren we do strike
the fur will fly and secession will be in the
hand Of the undertaken, steetei for 50 deep g
grave that nothing short of GrabriIs from
bone will ever awaken it : Mind what / say
You've heard the Snowman :"
Then sdy;sin him to keep away from the
Peter Funk auctions of the East, and the pro-
priejors Of corn lots in the West, bId him
farewell, aud went away
There was a ieVee at Senator What's his
names. and / thought I'd jiue 10 the festivities
for spell. Who shouid | see bur she that
was Sarah Watkins. now the wife Of our Col-
gFesSer, triDpiu ~ the dance dressed I'D 10 Kill
in her store close. Sarshs father used 10
keep 4 little g-O>ery store in our town, aud
she H-ed 10 clerk i for hin in busy times
was Fushin uD to shake hsBds with her when
she turned on her heel, and 'OsSin her he'd in a
CoutemptGous manner. walked away from NE
very rapid Halo SAL | holerd, cant
you measure me quart of them best meIas-
ses! ! may want Goldfish, also | guess
this reminded her of the little red store, and
the DAYS Of her happy childhood
Bu; fell in with ujce little gal after that.
who vas much sweeter than SaIly's fathers
melasses, aud axed her if we shouldn't glide
in the messy dance. She sed We would, and
We Gl0de.
intended to make this letter very seris,
hut few goaks may have accidentally crepl
10. Never mind Besides. think it improves
a komiCk paper to publish a COAX once iu 8
while. Yours Muchiy.
WARD, (AETDUs}