The Democratic press. (Eaton, Preble County, Ohio) 1860-1865, 1861-02-28
EATON PRIBIE. 90 UNITY OHIO OHTHURSDAY FEBRU ARR

- Ns''HSPHN - IVY > Ne-1fO
T looked UNUSUALLY hard; so l put a
I pillow III the spot where thought
{ my feet would come down, as
: didn'twant to hurt,my heels. Then
1 took off my coat, tied my sus-
penders tightly AROUND. my waist,
}, took a short run from the corner.ot
the room, shut my cySsfand- = q
When | recovered, which |
should judge was in about three
quarters of an hour, l had a bump
on my forehead as if I'd been hit
there by forty pounder. 1t took
me fifteen minutes to get up on my
feet, for I felt as if my legs and
arms had been distributed over the
neighboring country by a gunpow-
der explosion, and it was some time
before my mind was disabused OF
that impression.
Ijudge that something intcrfered
to prevent the artistic execution of
my contemplated somersault, for
my head evidently struck the
ground as soon as my heels went
up; my nose had received severe
confusion, and the result were, q
map of some unknown country
done in red Oh my shirt front, two
vest pockets full of blood, and my
hair so stuck together with the
same fluid that | had to get my
head cropped like prize fighter
Whether | broke the window with
my head when it went down, or
with my heels when they came up,
is comparatively immaterial-cer-
tain it is that there was a hole in
the sash big enough to throw a
bushel basket through without
} touching the edges.
As to the pillow it didn't seem to
case my feet after all; perhaps it is
:, because neither of them came with.
in rod of it, for l discovered that
while l broke my only water pitch
er with one heel, l had put the
other through my picture of John
c. Hccnau, in his favoritc charac-
ter of champion of the world.
| mustered up courage i'll three
days to try a handspring, but the
results were not satisfactory, being
merely a new and extensive assort-
ment Of bumps and bruises.
Then | sent for Spinkey-Spink-
ey taught me the art can do it
now-I do it all the timc-I keep
doing it; in fact, l don't do any
thing else. When l come down to
. breakfast, | generally walk on my
hands around the table, and give
each one of the boarders a patron
izing shake of my slipper; then
: turn a handspring over the table
and come down easily in my chair
> and read a column of the Tribune
while the people are looking in the
air for me to come down. l never
sleep on a bed, nowadays; some
times I hang myself by the toes tc
, the gas fixtures; sometimes l sus
pend myself by my little finger to &
staple in the wall; sometimes
balance myself on my trusty sword
or take short nap on the point o
my bayonet. I've practiced thrust
ing with my bayonet and sword til
there isn't a picture in my Who'll,
y collection that has its regular mum
ber of features. Dolly Davenpor
has only one eye, and fraction o
y a nose; Edwin Forrest is playing
Hamlet without any to his, ant
J John G. Heenan with one arm anC
a big hole in his ribs, is fighting
= = Tom Sayers, who has no legs, mar,
- an eye in his head. I've put a tar
get on the brick partition that sep
" arates me from the next house
and have fired so many balls int
it, the bricks are not now NOR
than an inch and a half thick, ant
=, expect every day to kill a baby o
y two in there. When l do, l sup
: pose 1 will have to apologize.
II haven't killed anybody for gooc
" while, and I really ought to &C
T my hand in again. If you shoul
u not hear from me next week, yo
= may conclude that I'm going thrc