The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1861-04-25

dlers.
Life is made of ever so many partings wed
ded together.
The right man in the right place-a husband
at home in the evening.
When you dispute with fool, he is apt to be
similarly employed.
81 he way of the transgrassor is hard and he
died from natural causes.
To get duck for dirnor-jump into the riv-
err.
There is no mind that cannot furnish some
scraps Of intellectual entertainment.
Why is life the riddle Of riddles Because
we must all give it up.
" I'm getting fat" as the thief said when he
was stealing lard.
The cheapest of lawyers-keeping ones own
Books are embalmed minds. Fame is flow.
er upon dead mans heart.
Il is supposed that the fellow who left tbe
house was not able to take it with him.
Most men are perfectly willing to lend YOU
money at all times, except when you happen to
want to borrow,
Those who dare at first to think for them.
selves viii in the end make others think with
them.
III ou and your sweet hea,t vote upon the
m1rnago Queation, you for it and she against 1t,
den latter yourself about its being q tie.
1t is wiser and better to hold the torch OF
truth to the mind than the torch ofpersecution
to the body.
When we get tired OF The pleasures within
our reach, we can have an unfailing resource in
thinking OF those that are out Of it.
Grown wiser. When we fancy that we have
grown wiser, 1t is only, in many instances tina t
ne" preJadices have displaced old ones.
Some men read SO much and think SO little
thai nothing short Of forgetting half of what
they know, would ever give them the use Of
the other half,
Life IS a strange problem. It is somewhat
remarkable that the very verb which expresses
existence, TO be, is defective in most if not all
languages, w.
As the motley diorama of the world passes
by, let us pause to look on and learn the densi.
Y OF bubbles and the physiognomy of shades
JSdGS.--AUuOCe0C6 20 an
umbreila-when once we have lost it, we must
never hope to see it again
4 short time ago man became so comnIefo-
~ wrapped in thought that he was tied nm
labelled, and sent off on the " ttain of IDEAS .
i IS a great blunder in the pursuit of hapni-
mes not to know when we have got it; that is
not to be content with reasonable and posi-.
bic measure.
In England ladies' don't allow themselves TO
be put on the shelf quite as soon as ours. They
are not supposed to reach the full bloom of ma
Ilty until they are forty years of age
While thousands fall by clashing swords ten
thousands tai! by corsctboards; yet giddy fa-
males thoughtless train for sake Of fashion
yields 10 pain.
Il the gentleman who keeps The shoe store
with red head will return the umbrella of the
young lady with an ivory handle, he will hea r
OF something to his advantage.
IL Paris a billiard table has been invented
which may be used for billiard table, chest
OF drawers, bed, bathing tub, and stove
1t will enablethe lover of the game to eat, drin
and sleep with his billiards.
A hen-pecked husband writes -" Be fore
marriage | fancied welded life would be all
| sunshine, but afterwards found out that it was
ali moonshjne."
Secret kindnesses done to mankind are as
| beautiful as secret injuries are detestable. Tt
be invisibly good is as godlike as to be invisi.
| bly, evil is diabolcal,
TT is proposed to light the streets of a vii
lage not thousand miles from here with rec
! headed girls Exchange.
| Crackee what time there viii be hugginf
lamp-posts in that village
| CHARGING a KISS. "A beautiful Girl stenno,
into shop to buy PAIR of mits How mucl
are they?, Why, said the gallant but impu
dent clerk, lost in gazing uponher sparklin!
| eyes and ruby lips, you shall have them for {
| kiss oh, very well, said the ady.pocketin,
the mits, while her eyes spoke daggers, 'ant
as see that you give credit here charge il,
and she hastily tripped out.
March of Intellect.-A beggar, sometime ago
applied at the door of a partisan of the Anti
Begging Society. After in vain detailing hi
manifold sorrows, the memorable gentleman
| peremptorily dismissed him. Go away" sai(
he, 60, we Gamma gle We naething." Yot
might, at least" replied the mendicant, witt
an cir Of great dignity and archness, " have re
fused me dramatically"
Parson Green was in the habit sometimes O.
drawing upon a box ofsermons bequeathed hin
| b. his father, who was also a minister, and up
On one occasion get hold of sermon, by mis-
take, which the old gentleman had once preach.
| ed to the state prison convicts. 1t opened well
and the congregation were becoming deeply in.
! terested, when all at once the parson surprised
them with the information that chad it not been
for the clemency of the Governor, every one Of
them would have been hung long time ago. =
Neighborly Correspondence.-Mr Simpson
presents his compliments to Mr.. Thompson land
begs that he viii keep his piggs from trespass.
ing on his grounds. Mr.. Thompson presents his
compliments TO Mr.. Simpson, and bees to re-
quest that in future he will not spell pigs with
two gees. Mr.. Simpsons respects to Mi. Thomp-
son, and viii feel obliged if he adds the letter
to the last word in the letter Just received, so
as to represent Mr.. Thompson and lady. Mr..
Thompson returns Mr.. Simpsons note un-open
ed-:he impertinence it contains being only
equalled by its vulgarity.