Abbeville press. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1860-1869, 1861-02-08
RULES FOR CONVERSATION,

from every flower which contains it, even
from some which are not little nauseous
or poisonous. 1t has also been said that
the conversation of every individual, what
ever may be the condition Of his mind or
circumstances, may he made q means Of i'm
provement. How happy would it be, then
if man possessed the skill of the bee, and
knew how to extract the good, and reject
the bad or useless!
Something on this subject is, indeed,
known. There are rules, by the observance
of which we may derive much valuable in
formation from the conversation Of those
among whom we live, even though it should
relate to the mos: ordinary subjects and
concerns. And not only SO, we may often
devise means to chongs the conversation,
either directly, by gradually introducing
other topics Of discourse, or indirectly, by
patient attempts to enlarge and improve
and elevate the minds of our associates.
Every individual has excellenccs and
almost every person, however ignorant, has
thought upon some one subject more than
many,-perhaps most-c,hers. Some cx-
eel in the knowledge ofhusJandry, some in
gardening, some in mechanics, or manufac.
lures, some in mathematics, and SO on. In
all your conversation, then, it will be we'll
to ascertain as nearly as you can wherein
the skill and excellence of an individual
lies, and put him upon his favorite subject.
Nor is this difficult. Every one arill, of his
own accord, fall to talking on his favoritc
topic, if you will follow, and not attempt to
Ieadthim.
Except in few rare cases, every one
wishes to be the hero of the circle where he
1s conversing. If, therefore, you seek to
Improve in the greatest possible degree
FROM the conversation Of those among whom
you may be thrown, you will suffer COM
panio Oh to take his own course, and 'out of
the abundance Of his heart let his mouth
speak, BY this means you may easily
collect the worth and excellence of every
one you meet with 4; and be able to out it
together for your own use upon future oc
casions.
The commoa objections to the views here
presented, are, that they encourage dissi,nu-
lat'on. But this does not appear 10 me to
be the fact. In suffering person, for the
space of single conversation, TO he the
hero of the circle, we do not of necessity
'concede his superiority generally; VIC only
help him to be useful to the company. Il
often happens that you are thrown amona
persons whom you cannot benefit bv be-
coming the hero Of The circle yours, If. for
they will not listen to YOU; and perbaos
viii not understand your terms, if they do.
H. however, there arpea, TO lie others in
inc company whose cljcct, like your own
IS Improvement, you might expose yourself
10 The just charge Of being selfish, should
you refuse to converse upon your own favor
1te topics in your turn; and thus to LET the
GOOD deed 60 round.
Never interrupt another, bns hear him
out. You will understand him the be,tor
Tor it, and he able to give him the he,,cr
answer. Ifyou only give him an oppor-
'un'ty' he may say something which YOU
have not yet heard, or explain what YOU did
not fully understand, or even mention some-
thing which you did not expect.
There arc individuals with whom Won
may occasionally come in contact. from
whose conversation you will hardly derive
much benefit Mt all. Such are those who
use "anton, or obscene or profane language.
for, besides the almost utter honelcssncs.
OF deriving any benefit from such persons,
ana The pain you must inevitably suffer in
nearing them, you put your own reputation
at hazard. "A man is known 10y the COM
pany lie keeps;;' take care therefore how
You frequent the company Of the swearer or
lie sensualist. Avoid, loo, the known liar,
for similar reasons.
II you speak in company, it is not only
modest but wise to speak late; for by this
means, you will be able to render your con-
Versat'on moro acceptable, and to weigh
beforehand the Importance of what yon
utter; and you will be less likely to violate
the good old rule, think twice before YOU
speak oncc.' Let your words be as few as
Will express the sense Which you wish to
convey, especially when strangers or men
OF much greater experience than yourself
are present; end above all, be careful that
"nat you say be strictly true.
Do not suffer your feelings to be,ray you
'"'o 100 great earnestness, or vehemcpcce !;
and never be overbearing. Avoid triumph.
ing over an antagonist, even though you
might reasonably do SO. You gain moth
ing. On the contrary, you often confirm
him in his erroneous on;,;o,, A.