Clearfield Republican. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1851-1937, 1861-04-10
MATRIMONIAL INFELICITIEs
CoSvERsATroy AT THE BREAKFAsT TABLE.
by AN IRRITABLE MAN.


My dear | said TO the lady who was
seated opposite me at the breakfast table,
ard who had the good fortune to be my
wife, if there be one thing dislike more
than another, it is to receive a cup OF
coffee that looks rs though it had been
slipped from before it reached my hands.
llaYe | not often asked you to fill my cup
to within an eighth of ar inch OF the rim,
and not give it to me half or three quar-
ters full 2
You are as particular as an old bache,
lor, the estimabc lady replied and if
had known il before married you, this
day would not have seen me your wife.
There, sir, is your cup Of coffee. hope
it will suit YOU
Good gracious = | exclaimed as took
the cup, how you have managed to run il
over. You must certainly be aware that
if there be one thing | dislike more th All
another, it is to find slops in my saucer.
We'll, If you will insist on my filling the
cup, you must expect that sometimes
shall spill it over; besides, your fudin :
fault with me does me no good, but makes
me nervous, and causes my hand to
trembe, so that only wonder there is
any coffee left in the cup. But here is q
clean saucer, in the place Of the ore you
have
Having effected this important change,
| tasted the contents Of ny cup. 1t was
evident 10 me that there was no sugar III
l.. | tasted ii agaIu to make certain OF
the fact. Then | said to her:
You have neglected TO put sugar in my
coffee Ii there be one thing dislike
more thAn another, it is coffee unsweet-
ened.
I Il am certain replied my estimablo
spouse that | dill sweeten it, don't
think you have stirred it,
But know have answered.
Not with your spoon, said the provok-
ing woman, for it is perfectly dry per-
haps, however, you used your fork,
'Pshaw' was all The answer youchsa(ed
/ to this remark.
Now, declare | said, after having
stirred and slpped my coffee, you have
made it too sweet If there be one thing
dislike more than another, it is to have
my coffee taste like syrup
] Let me put more milk with it, then,
said the ob.iging woman.
] W. 1 All'NhN gOu, 'N'llCNAi "Oll
care TO have my stomach tIrned into q
dairy. If there be one thing dislike
more than another, it is milk. gave up
milk diet when | cut my first teeth
1T is to be hoped that YOU will give up
the habit OF fdult-fnding, which you pos
sess in an eminent degre ,, when you come
to cut your wisdom teeth, though no one
can tell when tha, will be-
Thank you,' replied you will proba
bly, be the first who will know it when tha
occurs
And happy day it will be for me,
she answered with a provoking smile
Few know, though, how much unhappi
ness your constant fault-inding cause!
me- Nothing do seems to give you
any satisfaction. There isn't momen
elapses, while YOU are in the house, say,
when you're asleep, but you are thu
occupied. The truth is, | have alwsy
been too indulgent with you. and humor
ed you when | ought not. didn't com
mence tight in the first place. shoulC
have paid no attention to your whins. Gu
studied my own convenience and comfort
instead of seeking to make everything
smooth and pleasant for you. Then
would have got along much better. Oh
you men are great tyrants, and !ia woman
yields to you in the least, you follow VI
your advantage, and bend her will t
yours, and crush her spirit to the earth
till, 10y and by, you break her heart
MY dea:, will thank YOU for anothe
cup of coffee | said, passing my cup I,
her but be careful not to run it over
nor get it too sweet, nor put in too mucI
milk. What an intolerable steak this is
added; it is tough enough to have beef
cut from one of the cattle pastured upoI
a thousand hills more than THOUSAND
years ago. If there be one thing dislill
more than another, it is tojgh beef
steak"
You ordered II yourself from the mar