Cleveland morning leader. [volume] (Cleveland [Ohio]) 1854-1865, 1861-03-08

It's but the old story
sung 90 often IN vain
For man an tho freedom Of passion,
Fur woman the cain and the pain
Tell u the soul WhOse grief Is read
In the poor, pale suffering face,
ft Will still cling on % q love that Is gone
With tlls warmth Of the first embrace,
Oh, tbs we'll for the careless spirit ai
10 weave the web Of rhyme,
And prison the idle memories .l .4
That Goat on the beach Of timei
But better for my aching heart,
II lever Il might be So .
To iorFel so forget the light that LAS set
And the dream of iOng ago. -f
-[Onee q week. r.l.I a.r.-
1 s--.-s.-4+ 4-----44 ttH
Doesticks Ears OpIun--How He Rsit
Doesueks took dose Of opium the other
day. be says
The BHssful effects began to come along in
The course Of halfan hour First was rich;
had twenty. thousand dollars in hank; had
good many valuable houses in the city, own
ed halt the N. Y. Central .Railrosd, and had
50 much prairie land in Michigan, Wisconsin
and Minnesota, that I couldn't run from one
end Of il to the other in two days, on q light
ming express train. Then / had wife, in
fact two wives-snd in twenty minutes
had twenty Wives-all beautiful, accomplish
ed and Rfeetionate. Then was hero;
bad Just returned from war, afer killing
eighteen thousand men, and was receiving
due honors Then the Sunday Mercury had
raised my salary to three hundred dollars a
week, and Just seat in their check for Eve
weeks back salary. Then I had mofe wives
thirty more-handsOmer than the first
ones, and richer. Then was patriot
had Just returned from Washington, after as
sissinating James Buchanan, and wac receiy-
ing The plapdits Of q grateful nation therefor
Then somebody had died and left me more
property, and was a charitable benefactOr
and was relieving all the wants of the POOR
folks in the city, giving every man three
barrels Of pork, nine bags Of -four, thirty-six
bushels Of potatoes, and red cart and gray
| jacl1ass to drag them home for him.
Then the sunday Mercury had raised my
salary to a thousand dollars a week, and was
paying me three months salary in advance.
Then was hero again--ofanother variety
this time; l had Just saved a thousand lives
or 80, apd the city was in delight about me.
I Then bad more Wiies-loEelier than before
and richer--e ch one with her pocket full OF
seed pearls, and three peeks of diamonds
stitched into her petticolts. Then was king
I and was bossing everything and everybody
70 my hear s content and theirs. Then all
my wives bad large families that l hadn't
seen beloFe-all boys, and ali soldiers, and
| all ge aerals; then they were ell politicians,
and all Presidents Of Republics then they
we're all editors; then all merchants then
all clergymen, and all Beechers; but, v bat
I ever they were, / was the father Of them all,
and they numbered a hundred, then thou
sand, then ten thousand The Sunday Mer.
curry bad raised my salary; it was now tWen-
| ty-fve thousand dollars a Week-stationary
found and gas bills paid for me-and thu
/ D oprielOrs had Just sent me round two
year, pay in advance in gold, and sixty
drayinen were dumping it into the cOll hOl,
BY the cart load.
Then began to be more extraYagant anl
undergo various metamOFphoses. First wa
a freezer Of vanilla ice-cream, then was
gold fsh, then ] was Q new baby, with a hus
band interested and enthusiastic relations
then was a Christmas; then I was bal
loon bound straight for the moon, and will
gas enough 70 carry me there, and with let
ters of Introduction to the man of that inter
esti g planet; then was a sixteen pound
r0ui, sud Barnum had bought me for 1
thousand dollars; then was a clipper ship
the pride Of the sounsry; then was Page
Venus; then | was a canary bird, with fv
extra notes to my palate; then 1 became
flying fsh then became shark and swal
lowed the flying fish just had been then
changed into a sailor and speared the sharl
. Il a.. 7
the boatsWain, and fogged the sailor who hs'
speared me as q shark; then ] wss a slung
shot, and caved in the head Of the boatswail
who had hOgged me when was a sailor
then was policeman who melted down tn
slung shot; then was Police Commission
er, and broke the policeman; then becsm
the people and elected q new Commissioner
then, As the people, got myself into an eleC
ton riot; then ] changed into the military
and aFtilleryed myself as the people, an
bayoneted myself as the people, and charge
on myself, and dispersed myself; then wa
suddenly metamorohosed into huge buck
wheat cake, and was delieately Drowned o
the griddle, aud daintly lubricated with Ii
sweetest and purest butter then was foa
ed IN the clearest and most transparentlJ
beautiful maple mOlasses-which is the higt
estand best fits Of a buokwheat cake; the
, changed again, and the Mer Jury ht,s put d
my salary 70 five thousand dollars per wee
. ! Of four days, and had just sent in blan
/ eleck for me to fll out for any number
years in advance my twenty thousand sor
! had grown Up to be The best and noblest
Q men, and held the leading positions ever
where in the country then was about to
9 Mayor Of the city. had tnot been for a crow
j. Of determined citizens, who had resolved thi
5 | should be Governor Of the State; and I..w,
j, rescued from this last throng by anotht
crowd, who bad all voted for me for Pres
t. dent Of the United States; and / had ju
given my consent to fill that responsible DO
to the best Of my ability, when was forcibl
seized by an army Of our FIRST families az
our best society, and compelled to aceede
their command TO act as Dictator Of all Nor
America but before bad q chance to fair
say " Yes" TO this proposition, 1 found M
self declared O0nqueror Of the world, and W
=, being invested With royal robes and things
From this time things began 70 90 by Co
> traries. wasn't 80 rich as l had been !;
wasn't rich ct all; in fact was a beggar
hadn't twenty thousand sons, only one, al
7 be was in the penitentiary for stealing
spawned gray mare and huek-skin bride.
wasn't conqnenoF5 / wasn't governor;
, wasn't anybody; ] hadn't saved anybod
; hadn't killed anybody didn't have al
3 maple molasses on me, nor any butter, n
anything wasn't buckwheat cake st al
b but was screw-steamer with seven hu
dred passengers, all of them sea-siek at one
then was a pig, with my throat cut; then
c was the What is il then Iwas myself wi
= my salary stopped ard my work double
= then I was slice Of bread, but preserved /
? the feeling Of man while I was toasted ve
brown on both sidesi then was g laasa
= and was friec, then was an eel, and "
frstspeafed then skinned alive, then steve
and then eaten. oEA