The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1861-03-28
WHAT NOT?


The Natural Bridge-The bridge of the nose.
AL piano affords a young lady good chance
to show her lingering and fnger-ring
When lady makes you pair OF slippers,
she wants you to put your foot in it.
He who couldn't stand it any longer" has
taken seat, and now feels quite comfortable
If one wishes to unlearn selfshness, let him
go apart, and stand alone by himself.
A good man is kinder to his enemy than bad
men are to their friends.
No man ever professed TO contemn women,
till he was conscious of their contempt
A man that can be battered is not necessarily
afool, but you can easily make one of him.
No good man will despair of the Union, He
who hasno hope of his country should have
none Of Heaven.
The use we make Of our fortune determines
its sufhciency. A little is enough, if used wise
ly-too much, il used foohshly.
Harry and cunning are the two apprentices
Of despatch and skill, but neither of them ever
learns his masters trade.
II,
thread Is fastened upon the assurance of faith,
If you respect yourself as mach as you do
others, you will be careful to do nothing
mean when alone as when in company
Some men who pretend to back their friends,
back them as they would their horse, tail fore.
most.
Woman has found cher true sphere" at last
i is about .twenty-seyen feet around, made of
hoops
Once our statesmen clustered around the lib,
erty tree; now our politicians only take to the
stump.
The lay of a nightingale may be very de-
lighttul to well fed man; but the lays of a hen
are liked better by hungry one.
The persons most anxious to add to their
wealth are generally those who don't know how
to make good use of what they have already.
Children wouldn't cross their parents so Of
ten when they grow up, if they were to cross
their PARENTS knees little oftener when they
are little.
No genius can recite ballad as well at first
reading, as mediocrity can at the fifteenth or
twentieth reading.
Wealth does not always improve US. A man
as he gets to be worth more, may become worth
less.
Good sense, and even propriety, require man.
ners TO change according to ages. Puerility, in
an old man, is as ridiculous as pretentions to
accomplished manners in child
An old fellow being told that ne could not ho
good Christian without he took up his daily
cross, caught up his wife and began Juggling
her about the room.
To dispel innocent but erroneous dreams.
merely to find innocent but useless reality is to
initiate the philosopher who sees nothing in q
Hover but the chemical elements ofwhich it il
composed.
An Irishmen, being asked in court for his
marriage certificate, showed big scar on his
head, about the shape of shovel which was
satisfactory.
An attorney having died in poor circumstan.
ces one OF his friends observed that he had left
but few effects. That is not much to be won
dered at, said another "for he had but few
| causes."
must pity that young man, who with little
hnery OF dress, and recklesSness ofmanner with
his coarse passions daguerreOtyped upon hi,
face, goes whooping through the streets, driv
ing an animal much nobler in its conduct thar
he is himself
This "conundrum by induction must have
cost good deal of labor:
why is beehive like bad potato?
Because beehive is a bee-holder;
And beholder is a spectator
And spectator is bad potato!"
They tell story about Yankee tailor dun
ming man for the amount Of his bill The MAJ
ITeplied 81 am sorry, very sorry indeed, tina
can't pay it. "Well, said the tailor, 81 tool
you Tor man that would be very sorry-but
you are sorrier than l am I'll quit"
The Rock Hill, rs. c. Chronicle has ceased
its functions as a recorder of news. It's Las
slip contained the following lines:
This little scrap is sent to our subscriber
as the remnant of the residue of the remaipde
OF what was once the Chronicle"
They get up model love letters at Cleveland
short, sweet, and spelt upon the principle o
complete secession from dictionary rules
Here is one read in court last week = .Dea
= thow abcent not forgotten thares q goo,
time eumin waite littel longer"
1t is most fearful fact to think of, that !,
every heart thereis some secret spring tho
would be weak at the touch of temptation. an,
that is liable to be sssailed. Fearful and We
salutGry to think of; for the thought may sery
to keep our moral nature braced It warns n
that weLcan never stand at ease, or lie down i
this field of life, without sentinels Of watchful
ness, and camp-ires of prayer.
"My husband" said devoted wife. "wb,
win you not leave off smoking? It is such a
odiOus practice, and makes your breath SINE
so !" Yes" replied the husband, "Ive bee
thinking oft but then, only consider the tim
l have spent to learn to smoke. If l Shout
off oil hat
have been wasted, don't you see ?' "Oh,
didn't think of that |" Aud Mr.. Scroggs SIN,
ked on.
FABLE.-A gourd had wound itself around
LOFTY palm, and in few weeks climbed to il
very top. How old mayest thou be?" aske
t the' new conner About hundred years
"a hundred years, and no taller? Only look
have grown as tall as you in fewer days tina
you can count years" II know that we'll !" r
Piled the palm. Every year of my life a goui
has climbed up round me, as proud as thou al
q rr4 u IL IL