The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1861-04-10
Fireside Case of Secession.

-'At' L. 10 ~ cOUVhCiH
gentleman married to northern lady,
being employed as a book keeper in
one of the mercantile houses of this
| city. Mr. Stillinger, like some of his
compatriots, is rather of gasconad-
ing disposition, especially on Saturday
evenings, when he receives his weekly
salary and devotes portion of it to
potions of exciting beverages. Mrs.
Stillinger excels her husband consid-
erably, both in physical and intellec-
tpal development, and generally con
trives to keep him in pretty good
training The secession furore has
made the heroic element in Mr. Still
fingers composition more ungoyerna-
bic than ever an on returning home
last Saturday evening, just " tight F"
enough to BE- valiant, he confronted
Mrs s. with what he believed to be
| nh hNt-iI5 piriiS dlf.
Madam,' he exclaimed, the in
jnries which y on and all your tribe of
northern misc'eaht have inflicted on
myself and the rest of the southern
chivalry, can no longer he endured
and the breaking up of this old worn
out National Confederacy must Of
course be attended with dissolution
of the union between you and me
" So yon may think just now" dis
dainfully answered the lady, but you
will be Of a different opinion after a
while "
Never !" vas the stont rejoinder
From this moment I renonnce, dis
claim, and resolve not to touch any
body of Northern birth, and every
thing of Northern manufacture I'll
drink to the complete independence
and the sovereignty of the South"
He was about to take bottle of
domestic champ lgne from q closet,
Wien he was interrupted by derisive
laugh from his wife, who inquired
Are you going to drink to that
sentiment in Longworth's Ohio-made
Catawba ?"
"No, l forgot twas that stuff, J"
said he, putting back that bottle
But get out my shirts and stockings,
and pack them up, SO that I may Sc
cede at once, and join the noble army
of South Carolina PATRIOTS
"But you have renowned all your
shirts and stockings, cooIly answered
Mrs. S., " for they are articles of Nor
thern manufacture
None of your treacherous gam
mon," shouted StilIinger. All my
shirts. except collars and wristbands,
are made Of pure Southern cotton"
Eyes, but the cotton was woven
into muslin at the Manayunk mills,
and made into shirts by a Yankee
st wing machine" replied Mrs. Stillin-
ger
"This is the way the north adds
insult to injury" exclaimed Mr. S.,
much enraged :" | think with Gov
ernor Brown, of Georgia, that instead
Of seeding from the Union ourselves,
the best plan is to drive the Northern
crs out Of it and so, madam, instead
of going out of the house myself, I'll
turn you out"
With these words, he seized the
astonished lady by the arm. and SHOW
ed her into the entry. Here there
stood large tub of water, which was
about to be used for scrubbing and
| Mrs Stillinger, (who, as we have
said, was more than match for her
husband in all respects,) grasped him
by the collar, flung hin into the tub,
and rolled him over three or four
times before she released him. Soured,
and shiveriag, and SOLDERING, Mr. Still
linger crept up stairs to change his
| olo4ho, x,hio;noo Forth
why, Jane, I only wanted to see
if could frighten you Pm not such
bland fool as to try secession in
earnest Only senl me up glass of