Daily Nashville patriot. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1860-1862, 1861-04-14

Publishers Nashville Patriot
THE ATTACK UPON FoRT SUMTER THE
MISTAKEN WAR Policy OF JEFF. DAVIS AND
HIS MILITARY ADyIsERs.-The Telegraph an
nounces that Gen. BEAUREGARD has opened
his guns upon Fort Sumter. and that Fort
Sumter has opened its guns upon Gen. BEAU
REGARD. This report may or it may not be
true. There are so many rascals triggering
with the Telegraph lately, that it only tells
the truth once week, and then by the merest
accident. Hence it may be that not soli-
itary gun has been fired at Charleston
though we are compelled to believe that
there has, for we accumulate more and more
evidence every day that the race Of fools is
not entirely extinct, and that number of
them have recently been congregating about
Charleston. We sincerely hope that the
Telegraph has not forfeited its uuenyiable
reputation in this case, and that as usual it
is lying like dog.
1t is well known that Fort Sumter was
built by the United States Government, by
whom it was held and oceupied-with no one
" NicPUtS tc ~ 81 uuIii SOuJu
Carolina backed out of the Federal Compact,
when she levied an attachment upon the
Fort and threw the case into chdncery, where
at has been ever since. When the Southern
COnfedeTacy started. that power assumed the
responsibility of the suit, and has prosecuted
it with some vignr. II We have correctly
got the hang of the thing. the United States
claim the Fort by right OF construction (by
which we mean not a constructive right
but the right of having built the darned
thing); while the Confederate States claim
it by RICH; OF carefully cultivated weak
ness for picking up such little things of that
sort as they happen to fud lying around.
1t Is probably too late now to speculate
upon the best and most equitable method OF
settling the claims of the parties; but it is
very strange that Maj. ANDERSON was not
authorized to close out the concern to the
highest bidder and divide the proceeds be-
tween the claimants. Or if this method was
not agreeable to both parties, they could
very easily have sent SEWARD and TooNBs
to a card conference at the halfway point be-
tween Washington and Montgomery, with
instructions to settle the question by a game
of poker or seven-up.
1t is to be regretted that the Southern
Secretary Of War, Gen. FdTker, could think
of no means OF getting possession of the
Fort without battering it down. We shall
proceed to show that it might tave been
done easily enough, and by as many as three
distinct plans, which would have cost COM
paratively nothing. and would have brought
about the desired result without shedding
drop OF blood.
l. Our first plan would have been to con-
vert the troops in the Fort into National
Democratic Convention, bring forward
DOUGLAS and BRECKENRIDGE as opposing can
didates for the Presidency, make the quarter
master charge the members ten dollars day
for board, and having gotten up row, move
an immediate adjournment to Baltimore. The
Fort would have been evacuated at once, and
the thing would have been settled.
III. Our second plan would have been to
send each of the officers and troops in the
Fort a copy of the Montgomery Nail, and
give him ten dollars to read il five minutes
on a stretch. At the expiration of that time
the entire garrison would have been sound
asleep, and a handful of volunteers could
have gone over on a raft sometime during the
day and taken peaceable possession of the
premises. The first plan might have failed;
the second could not possibly have done so
The only difficulty in the way would have
h.. of fba 70
such bore for the contemplate sum of ten
dollars.
III. 1t will be remembered that while the
Egyptians were largely engaged in the manu-
facture of mummies, and in the worship Apis,
Isis, Osiris, and five-story Pantheon of aux
Hilary gods in the shape of dogs, cats and
monkeys, their country was invaded by
CAMBYsEs, OF the Persian army, brave SOL
der but rather eccentric in the treatment
of his relations, and that he caused large
numbers of these animals worshipped by
the Egyptians to be carried in front of
his troops, and the Egyptians, fearing to
strike sacrilegSus blow by attacking the
Persians, stood panic stricken, and fell an
unresisting prey to the sword of the invader.
Now why could not Secretary WALKER have
learned a lesson from this page Of histO-
~, and captured Fort Sumter pretty much
in the same way? If he had constructed a
large raft in Charleston harbOr manned it with
a hundred soldiers, enclosed in fertilization
of several hundreds of the pretty girls of the
Southern COn.sderacy, and showed it out for
the Fort, not a soldier there could have been
hired TO fire even a blank cartridge upon the
approaching foe, but would have Surrendered
at discretion, and all men of taste would
have commended their discretion in do
ing so.
But none of these wise and yirtuous plans
seemed to strike the powers that be at Mot,
gomery, and the result is, the Don't Shoe,
policy has been abandoned, and BEAUREGAfD
and ANDERSON have gone to playing the d All
and Tom Walker.
Dan Recon Monday that popular show
man DAN RICE, whose name is Familiarity
known over the entire continent of America,