The Shasta courier., 1861-03-30
On His weaving Way.


receiving public erations, made such fatu-
lent, weak, womanish, lackadaisical, witless
speeches, as those delivered by Abe Lincoln,
on his way to Washington, and reported in
the n. Y. Herald Each speech subsequent
to the first, was but a poorly initiated copy of
the first, which itself was inferior, in style
and matter, to that which the presentation of
watch would call forth from any average
railroad superintendent, steamboat captain,
retiring official, Withdrawing editor, or unu-
sually funny circus clown. This is so. We
are not saving it because we do not like Lin
coins election. Any man of intelligence,
capable of discriminating between sense and
nonsense, logic and balderdash, wit and gri-
mace, eloquence and fustian, purity of style
and clumsiness and inelegance thereof, will
admit that our opinion sjust.
The following is not an unfair parody upon
the accounts given of his tour, and the Incl
dents and speeches thereupon attending:
SPRINGFIELD, Feb. IL.
THE DEPARTURE.
The depot was densely packed with people
this morning, who had assembled to see their
old nAber This will be explained in our
June number V. +. off. Mr.. Lincoln
wept at parting with his friends, and asked
them to pray for him, to which voices replied,
I" Well, we WILL After the train started
Mr.. Lincoln became more cheerful, and set
his Suit in roar of laughter by telling them
they Suited him. At Decatur he appeared
on the platform of the car, and after the tre-
mendous cheers of the assembled masses had
subsided, he said: My friends. | haven't
time to make a speech, so l will tell gag.
Why am | like the but the train started
and his fellow countrymcn at Decatur lost
the benefit of the joke. He was called at the
next station, and received with applause and
shouts of 8 Hail to the Prairie Flower ~ Mr.
Lincoln handed his umbrella to Col Els
worth, of the Chicago Zouaves, and request
ing the editor of the Springfield Journal to
wipe off some crumbs of ginger bread, which
had become entangled in his Mr.. Lincoln's)
whiskers, spoke as follows, g My friends,
why am like the carly again the re
morseless engine cut the joke short, leaving
another brilliant assemblage in the agony of
suspense.
As the train was slowly crossing long
bridge, Mr.. Lincoln's face assumed that in
describably humorous appearance which has
rendered him remarkable, and the company
prepared for one of his side splitters.-
Thrusting his - id out of window, he hailed
some laborers, in a ravine below, and asked
them if they wanted any rails split This
impromptu sally of sparkling wit was so infn.
itely superior to the ordinary sallies, that the
editor of the Springfield Journal declared that
it should be called a Sarah. The reporter of
the Boston Advertiser Immediately telegraph
ed che joke to that paper, but the other re-
porters were compelled to content themselves
by laughing immoderately over it, as jokes
are not allowed in the journals they represent.
AT the next station Mr.. Lincoln succeeded in
getting off his joke I" My friends, can you
tell me why | am like the early dews of
June? Do you give it up? It's because ever
of thee I'm fondly dreaming!' lie conn.,
menced laughing very heartily himself, but
Suddenly stopped, on perceiving that the as
sembled multitude did not see it. There was
deathlike stiffness in the vast crowd, and
even the Suite onlr smiled in feeble man
ner. Mr.. Lincoln retreated to the car with
disappointed air, and occupied his time until
the next station was attained in silently mas
ticating some gingerbread which he had
with statesmanlike precaution, put in his hat
at starting. At the next station telegram
from the last station was brought in and read
1t was as follows " Joke Just this moment
understood. Whole town roaring with
laughter and buttons flying through the air
like bullets at Bueny Vister. Canon firing
and Fire Companies all squirting. Bully for
you. People want you to get off a joke on
Rarey, as it hasn't been done vet"
The telegram effected happy change in
Mr.. Lincoln's spirits, and he again became
the gay and happy creature he was before
He said he could spell the hardest word of
any in the party, and commenced spelling
stovepipe, but desisted on being informed that
E. F. Dixey and Jerry Bryant had done it
once each II reckoned it was original with
me- said Mr.. Lincoln. but of course You
know hest. Oh yes--I dare say! I'm glad
I've got so many smart people along! Hadn't
you better take something warm and lay
down?n Nothing frets Mr.. Lincoln somuch
as to have his gags interfered with.
At Danville there was another large crowd
Mr.. Lincoln stepped out and remarked that
if he had any blessings to dispense, he would
certainly dispense the largest and roundcst
to his good friends of Vermillion county.
Terrific cheers, and cries of ''Good for
YOU Give us all the offices you kin. Mr..
Lincoln then entertained the crowd with a
ballad, accompanying himself on the bass
drum As he breathed his soul into the
| lines
Tell me We winged winds
That round my pathway snore,
Soft eyed women and brave men-aye, white.
haired veterans-could be seen wringing
tears from their soaking-wet handkcrchiefs,
while sobs stood in large puddles all around
the train, making it bad for those who hadn't
rubbers on.
At.Indianapolis, Mr. Lincoln made speech
from the cupalo of the Bates House, dressed
in a green bottle overcoat and blue-cotton
umbrella. If South Carolina" said he,
. is right, then of course those who differ
from her are wrong. Cheers, and cries Of
1--WE will we willr'1 What's coercion p
| Applause, and cries of :. 1t isl it lis ~ Let
us not misunderstood lcheers the meaning
THAT'S what we've always maintained. y
of coercion and invasion. A voice.. 1t is
By all means."] Iain't asserting anything
myself. [applause, and voice" 1t is! il
isl''l but merely asking questions for you to
think over and decide. Immense applause.
Bless you, my children. Bless you'll
fear my notes are imperfect, as was un-
able to get inside the cup0lo on account Of
the jam, being compelled to hang to joisi
by my teeth, and write with my left hand,
my right being constantly occupied in keep.
ing the ink bottle in my left coat pocket from