New Oregon plaindealer. (New Oregon, Iowa) 1859-1866, 1861-05-17

dfkcr anu ClOVer. LII SOoa Iltne tney
came back, redeemed, regenerated,
and disenthralled.' | was so satisfied
now that there was nothing left in my
parlor to be killed, that I could hardly
sleep that night, 50 impatient was to
see Mrs. Sowerby.
So That pestilent woman, when she
came next day, looked around in evi-
dent disappointment, butexclaimed, with
great appearance of cordiality.
well, now I declare, it's all perfect;
there is net handsomer room in town.
Thank heaven thought I, l have
committed no more murders. But I
reckoued without my host. Twas des.
tined to 50 on numbering In spite of me.
The spring was now coming on, and the
weather being mild, the foldins-doors
had been thrown open between the front
and back parlors. This latter was fur
nished with green, somewhat faded, I
confess. / had heretofore considered it
sanctun, sa',ctorum of the establish
ment. 1t was only used on extraordi-
nary occasions, such as Christmas and
New Year days, when all the family
dined with me, bringing their little
children with them to gormandize them
selves sick. The room looked very we'll
by itself; but, alas +! the moment Mrs.
Sowerby caught sight Of it, her eye
frightened, fatal omen ..
why, my dear Mr.. Sobersides, what
has got into your back parlor? 1t used
to be so genteel and smart. Why, l
believe Pm losing my eyesight. The
green carpet.and curtains look; quite
yellow, I think. O, I see it now
the front parlor haa killed the back
one" ... ......
The devil Here was another pret.
ty business. I must either keep the
door shut all summer and be roasted.
or be charged with killing whole par
lor-carpet, curtains, chairs, sofas,
walls and all.
1t would he but mere repetition to
relate how this wicked woman led nc on
from one murder to another. First,
the new carpet killed the curtains
then the new, curtains killed the walls:
then the new painted walls killed the
old satin chairs; and SO by little and
all my honest old green furniture went
the way Of the honest old yellow.
The spell is broke at last cried I,
rubbing my hands in ecstacy. Neither
my front or back parlor can commit
any more assassinatlons, Elated with
the idea, l was waiting on Mrs. Sow
erby to the front door. when suddenly
she stopped short at the foot Of the old
fashioned winding staircase, the carpet
Of which, I confess, was here and there
infested with that modern abomination
darn. 1t was, moreover, rather din
gy and faded.
Your back parlor has killed your
hail. said Mrs. Severity.
And so it had. Coming out of the
splendor of the former, the latter had
the same effect on the bcholler as bad
set of teeth in fine face, or an old
rusty iron CRATE in fine room.
Ibegan to be desperate. l had been
accessory to so many cruel murders
that my conscience became scared, and
I went on, led by the wiles of this pes
tilent woman, to murder my way from
the ground-Aoor to the cockloft, without
sparing a single soul. Nothing es-
capped but the garret, which, having
been for half century thedepository Of
our broken or banished household goods.
resemdled Hogarth's picture of the END
of the World,' and de6ed the arts Of
that mischievous woman Mrs. Sow
erby.
My house was now fairly revolution
lied, or rather, reformed. after the old
French mode, by process of indis-
criminate destruction.
did not, like Alexander, having
thus conquered one world, sigh for
another to conquer. I sat down to