The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1861-08-22
KENOsHA, WISCONSIN, THURSDAY, AUGUST 22 1861
Our z at Contributor in she Homo Gsunrel

UAsA HI sHe AhSEshS GTEs1fe
The moment the Flag was threatened, large
bodies of men were called upon to rally in it
defence. Being large bodied man, | rallied
and enrolled myself with the Home Guards
The drill is very severe On me this hot weather
although l am constantly allowed an attendant
with ian and a pitcher of ice water.
am constantly reminded that one Of the first
requirements of soldier is to throw ont his
chest and draw in his stomach. Having been
burned out several times while occupying rooms
IN an attic, have had considerable practice in
hT0aoang ont ay chest, but by what system OF
pracuce Could l ever hope to draw in my stom
ach can't dress up'-it's no use trying Ii
my vest buttons are in line l am far in the rear.
and If toe the mark, fearful bulg indicates
my position. (There is no room for an argument
in regard to my sentiments body can see
at glance Just achcre IStand.) One evening we
had q new drill servant who was near-sightcd.
hunnlng his eye down the line, be exclaimed
sharply:
'Whac is that man doing in the ranks with q
bass drum p WIN &
He pointed at me, but hadn't any drum
IL was the surplus stomach that | couldn't draw
in.
am the butt of numbeiless jokes, as YOU
may We'll suppose. They have got a story in
the Guards that when first heard the command
order arms ! dropped my musket, and tax.
ing out my notebook began to draw an order
on the Government for what arms wanted
They say ordered Winans steam GUN with
a pair Of DahIgren howitzers for side arms -
Base iabrlcators My ambition never extended
beyond lihed cannot, and they knew it.
Although in respect to size 1 belong to the
heaVles, my preference is for the light infantry
service. My knapsacd Is marked light infantry.
Ope evening the spectators seemed convulsed
about something, and my comrade Uttered nv
patoons whenever my back was turned. II woS
all mystery to me until l laid off nv khan.
sack. Some wretch had erased the two final
letters, and l had been parading all the evening
labelled LIGHT INFANTr
The above is one Of the thousand annovancas
TO which l am subjected, and nothing but nv
consuming patriotism could ever induce me TO
submit to it. rallied at the call of my country.
and am net TO be put out by the rallying ofmy
comrades.
overheard spectator inquire Of the drill
sergeant one day:
Do you drill the whole of him at once q
NO, he returned in an awful whisper, 'IdriU
him By squares =
| would have drilled him if l had had bayo,
net
Specifications have been pubishe ID in regard
The making will be let out 10 the lowest respon-
si6le bidder. In case the Guards are ordered to
take The field, special commissary will be de-
tailed 20 supply my iations,
Thai reminds me Of narrowing incident
On last drill night an old farmer, who dror ped
III to see Us drill, took me aside, and sad he
wanted to sell me powerful yoke of oxen.
My arcient agricultu,ist, asid l, smiling
at his simplicity, 1 have no use for oxen.
Perhaps not at present. quolh he, but if
you go TO war you sill want Them
For what 2 said /, considerably ANNOYED.
Want 'cm to draw your rations .
The Guards paid me delicate compliment at
the last meeting. They elected me Child of
the regiment with the ranh Of first CorpuIent
with the pay of chief Blower l was about TO
rctarn thanks in neat and appropriate speech,
when reporter who was present assured me
1t was NJ use-he had got the whole thing in
type, fneech and ALL and could read it in the
evening paper. He said they kept neat and
appropriate speech standing in type continual
y. got his views, aud held my peace.
Yours for the Union, including
the Stars, also the Stripes,
FAT CONTRIBUTOR.
-CteyeLGnd PlGiadcaIer.