The Grand Haven news. [volume] (Grand Haven, Mich.) 1858-18??, 1861-12-25
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.
= Moving for a new trial-courting a
second wife.

oSNOhN WHN.
= Good temper, like n sunny day,
sheds brightness over everything.
= Riches have made many good men
worse, but never made any bad men bet
ter.
- The editor of New York Journal
calls another editor " A dilapidated old
Zouave."
= He who knows his ignorance is the
possessor of the rarest kind of valuable
knowledge.
- 1t is quite natural That when wo-
man reigns she should storm-nnd she
always does.
- Be as careful not to provoke an en-
emy rs you would TO steer safely near n
dangerous reef.
- If woman is truly beautiful, let
not her beauty be made dim by the flash
OF diamonds.
"I'll take bite teo," rs the wolf
said, when he found man eating his din
ner in the woods.
- A time for all things. The time
TO leave is when young lady asks you
how the walking is.
-" Caught in her own net," rs the
man said when he saw one of the fair
sex hitched in her crinoine.
- The road ambition travels is too
narrow for friendship, too crooked for love,
too rugged for honesty, and too dark for
science.
- Every man cherishes in his heart
some object, some shrine at which his ad-
Grafton is paid, unknown TO his fellow
mortals.
- A New York critic says The recent
~ arrived danseuse sis gloriously hand
some woman, with eyes like concentrated
midnights."
- A western editor wishes TO know
whether the law recently enacted against
the carrying of deadly weapons, applies
to doctors, who carry pills in their pockets.
- An emgrant TO Port Natal, writing
home to one Of his friends, says: "We
are getting on finely here, and have al
ready laid the foundation of larger Jail"
- Bashfulness is more frequently con-
nected with good sense than We find as
surance; and impudence, on the other
hand, is often the effect of downright
stupidity.
=" "What we call Young America,
says Timothy Titcomb, is made up OF
about equal parts of irreverence, conceit,
and that popular moral quality famliarly
known rs brass
- There is sacredness in tears
They are not the mark of weakness, but
Of power. They are the messengers Of
overwhelming grief, of deep contrition,
and of unspeakable love.
- A Missouri paper recently inform,
ed its readers that the "wife crop of Gas
conde county in 1860 was $4,000 gals.
The next paper corrected the error by put
ting swine" in the place Of wife.
- Somebody says that the devil new
or troubles busy man. This we know
to be false. Show us buster man thar
the editor, and yet he is fortunate if he
has no more than one devil TO trouble
him, especially when copy is short.
- A man with n modest appetite din
ed at hotel; after eating the whole o
young pig, was asked if he would have
some pudding. He said he didn't care
much about pudding, if they had anothe
little hog, he would be thankful for it.
- A husband advertises thus an,
wife, Maria, has strayed or been stolen
Whoever returns her will get his head
broke. As to trusting her, any body car
do so if they see fit; for MS | never pay
my own debts, it's not likely that III pay
her'n."
- To cure dyspepsia-take a new axe,
put n white hickory handle in it, bore q
hole in the top of the handle, fiji tho hole
with gum camphor, and seal it up. Then
take the axe aud cut cord wood at fifty
cents a cord, until the heat of the handle
dissolves the camphor.
- Somebody says that our passions
are older than our reason, because pas
sions are born with us, but reason don't
follow till long time after. This is a
slander upon all babies. When baby
is spanked, don't he holler9 Yes. And
hasn't he got reasonl Yes, and a
mighty good reason, too.
The GREAT EAsTERE.-Nautical men
of England express very discournging
opinions in regard to the Great Eastern
They thiuk il doubtful whether she will
ever make another sea trip, and think
that, after remaining awhile at Milford
Haven, she will be converted into bath
house or floating hospital, The captain
and crew have been paid of, and the un.