Raftsman's journal. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1854-1948, 1861-06-26
COUSIN BOB.
a TALE FOR town AND COUNTRY.

COUSIN BOB.
TALE FOR TowN AND COUNTRY.
Nj. John P. Middleton was a retail mer.
chant OF Philadelphia. His business was mod.
erately prosperous and he lived up to his in
come 1t was primary object with him and
his vile to occupy large and handsome house,
and TO have it furnished in elegant style.
They likewise kept a carriage, which was
drawn by single horse, and the keeping of a
carriage made it necessary for them to keep a
"coachman.'' Their functionary was named
Mise Farrell ha was modest and we'll be-
havcd Irishman, who, besides the regular SER
vices which belonged to his Office, did duty
80 porter in Mr. Middleton's store and made
himself useful in another way to which refer
ence will he made hereafter.
The Middletons had large circle Of ac-
quaintances, all of whom were people of con-
sideraton; that is to say, people who dressed
well, lived in somewhat fine houses and pos
sessed good carpets, handsome chairs. tables,
sofas, &c. But there was one draw back on
Mr.. and Mrs. Middleton's felicity: they had a
superabundance Of country cousins plain,
rustical persons who often came visits to
Philadelphia, and, as they were scarcely pre-.
sentable in that aristOcratic circle in which
the Middletons moved, these visitors were a
source of annoyance and vexation whenever
they took fancy to spend a few days or weeks
with their Philadelphia relatives.
sultations, had often devised means for aba
ting this nuisance, Gas they considered ii, but
what could be done 2 They did not wish to
behaye chUrliShiy to their unfortunate coun-
trv friends. for that would be dscredltable to
their good breeding; besides, as it was desi-
rablc with Mrs. Middleton, sometimes, to
make short stay in the country, for the ben
eft Of her own health or that Of her children,
she thought it expedieRt to treat her country
visitors with some civility, for the purpose Of
securing hospitabe reception from them
when ii suited her convenience TO return their
visits. But Mr.. Middleton very slirewd
person and he hit on an ingenious plan to
make the visits of the countr, cousins, like
those of angels, Gas Campbell says,) s.few and
far between Middleton had an apartment
fixed up especially for the use of his rural
guests. He procured bedstead of the French
pattern, which. as it contained good deal of
timber and many joints and crevces, afforded
ample accommodations for those insects which
are objects of horror and detestation with all
tidy housewives. Mr. NJ, with t-Malthu-
sian policy, sought TO increase the population
OF this chamber and strictly forbade the use
of all measures which could interfere with this
purpose. And lest his animal pets should not
have sufficient maintenance, he induced his
coachman, Mr.. Mike Farrell TO use the cham
Der rs dormitory, whenever the family hap
pened TO have nc visitors from the country.
can sleep soundly and comfortably in any cir
cumstances of pain or peril. The bed bugs,
in fact, gave him but little disturbance, for he
was hard working man, and as he was much
fatgued at night, his siumbers were generally
sound; besides, he was accustomed to take
pretty strong sleeping draught, little before
bed time, and this secured his repose against
all ordinary causes OF interruption.
He remarked, in confidence to his intimate
friends, that great guns cond not awake him,
and "as for them poor little wee crayters,
they were mighty plisint companions, (bless
their souls y and the tickling they gave him,
did good aud often made him laugh hmseI If to
Sleep"
This, We say, was Mikes avowal to his con.
fdential friends; but to his employers he told
a different story for il was his game TO make
them believe that sleeping in ssconsin's room''
CAS- the apartment was called,) was a very Sc
we're penance. AS he was paid dollar per
week extra wages for supplying Mr.. Middle
toa's large i1ocks with good pasturage, he was
cunning enough TO pretend that this service
cost him some Inconvenience and suffering.
8ut as soon as one of tho cousins arrived at
Middleton s, part of Mikes occupation was
goGe. the we'll inhabited bed was surrendered
TO the visitors. and Mikes extra pay was SIM
uitaneously stopped.
These arrangements proved to be very sat-
isiactory to Mr.. aud Mrs. Middleton. When
rustic kinsfolks came TO toxn. Mr.. and Mrs.
N. appeared TO be ready to eat them up with
iondness. The bugs showed a similar dispo-
si,ion; but with them there was no dissimu-
!atiGn. or false pretense. To the great de-
light Of the AiddIetons, each guest made bnt
short stay; that bed seemed to be more af-
nc,iVe than the coaches of Damien and Proc
-s'es. No one would voluntarily submits for
any length of time, to such a mOckery OF re-
pose. When each gnest departed, he or she
looked so iaded aud distressed that it was ea-
s. % suppose that the visit would not soon be
repeated
A. ength there came to Middleton's, GER
.a!h country cousin from the Eastern shore OF
,.aa!y and. Robert Laskin was his name, but
hr: and Mrs. Middleton, with affectionate ia
Ihillaiity, called him sCousin Bob.'' Mr.
Laskin was stout, broad faced. jovial farmer,
"nose manners were not particularly elegant
Ou' IN other respects he was very estimable
person This was "Cousin Bob's'' first visit
10 Philadelphia. and as he was q mere rustic
~ appearance, the MiddletoBs felt particular
y incommoded by his presence. Neverthe-
esS, They received him with much apparent
eoFdlality, and on the first day Of his sojourn-
Ment in Philadelphia, "Cousrn Bob appear
Ito be delighted with his situation. On the
.oiiowng morning, however, when he ap-
peared at the breakfast table his countenance
Mi, as somewhat pale and haggard. and Mrs.
@Si.uaieton sympathisingly inquired if he found
N'uself quite well after his journey.
ioteil you the truth, Cousin Sally" an
,"efed Laskin. 'railroad trip didn't do me
~ nafn but that bed into which you put