The Shasta courier., 1861-01-05
Always Unfortunate.
BY J. HENRY sYMosDs.

their time in laying schemes TO catch, without
| labor, an income sufficient for their indoent
support
Charles Harding was an unf fDrtunate member
of this large class. From boyhood days he had
folded his hands easily, closed his eyes quietly,
and wished with as little labor as possible, that
fortune would be accommodating enough to
fall in his way but, unfortunately, he more
often found it impeded by sherifs officers
While yet school-boy, he found a habit of
laying aside his books, and wishing his lessons
learned, and wishing again that he had arrived
at mans estate; somehow he generally made
poor show in his class, and was reminded that
he was still lad by the application of his
teachers birch. In course of time, and in some
mysterious manner, one of our numerous col
leges turned him out ready-made classical
scholar, or, in other words, graduated Ounce.
Harding decided not to read profession-it
would require so many months close applica-
ton, and it would be so long ere he could ac-
quire n competency at either law or physic. He
would try scheme by which a fortune could be
amassed in a few months, and with this idea he
projected grand swindng land speculation,
under the name of the I" Hauton Land and I'm
provement Association But for lack of en-
ergy and tact, the enterprise became total
failure, and its worthy head and president, in
stead of becoming millionaire, only escaped,
through the oversight of officer of the law
being supported few years at the expense of
| his native State.
! Our hero next appeared before the world as
commission merchant, bnt the knowing ones
would not trust him, and the verdant ones had
but few goods to sell, and the imaginary firm
of' Charles Harding & Co." took in its sign be-
fore it was one year old
Then by turns he embarked in some half
! score of different kinds of businesses but in
none was he successful. He found it less diff
cult to spend than TO earn gold, and he declared
to his friends that he was :" dllrdys unfortunate /"
1t was after these repeated business failures
that a brilliant idea entered the head of Hard
ing. He would remove to distant city, ap-
pear as a retired NJ. d. which would hint at the
possession of wealth, and devote his time and
talents to indolent reading and finding a rich
wife. lmpelled by this idea, he removed to
NJ, and fitted up apartments TO his liking
the principal one of which was designated :. The
Study In this room he gathered such col
! lection of curosites, bogus and genuine, as
would make the heart of museum-keeper beat
with envy. Upon the walls he displayed por-
traits of all the noted sovereigns and statesmen
of ancient and modern days; on shelves were
ranged geological fragments, which he profess
/ ed to have clipped from various mountains and
caves during series of extensive travels: in
jars were specimens of the insect and reptile
! tribes, preserved in spirits while on perches
and in cases were stuffed birds and animals :
then there was collection of rare coins and
medals; and goodly library of ancient vol
umes, with massive bindings which, when they
were opened, emitted musty smell: and lot
of walking sticks and blocks of wood from trees
and buildings, and vessels with which were con-
n ectsd historical incidents of interest these
with two glass cases, in one of which was what
purported to be an Egyptian mummy, in the
other human skeleton on wires, writing
desk, a reading table n half-dozen chairs a
lounge, and two splttoOns constituted the furni-
ture of the " Study" How Harding ever raised
energy enough to collect and arrange these ar
ticles, is a mystery.
Settled in these apartments, the self-styled N.
d. soon gained name in his new locality of be-
ing very talented man. He contributed poems
TO the village paper, which were stolen from old
English magazines; he read essays before the
"Lyceum," which, at least, showed good taste
in the selection. These literary efforts soon
gained him an extensive local reputc as a poet
and philosopher, and made him a favorite
with the elite of the village, especially the ladies.
Having gained this position, Harding looked
about him for prize which might be worth his
catching, and ultimately his fancies settled up
on Mrs. Alton, the young, rich and pretty widow
of the late Thomas Alton, respected dealer in
groceries. Mrs Alton was very pretty, but very
vulgar young girl previous TO ncr union with
the old, rich and Penurious grocer; but he died
in little more than a year, leaving her still
young. still vulgar, but very rich; and with
youth, riches and beauty for passports, she was
readily admitted into the upper circles
Mrs. Alton had been widow scarce six
months, when Charles Harding, NJ. D., became
a resident of the village; but she received his
attentions with seeming pleasure. and in less
that six months more it was rumored that they
were engaged. Maidens and widows who en-
We'd Mrs. A. limited to the lover that she was a
terrible shrew, but he turned a deaf ear to their
insnuations. Heretofore he had been ''always
unfortunate;9 = now he was positive that he was
in luck; and the gratuitous advice which was
so plentifully showered upon him was lost He
heard it, but needed it not; the reported wealth
of the Widow A. alone attracted his attention
and on that account he was matrmonay
anxious; while she desired the connection equal
ly much, anticipating high social position,
arising from his reputed talents. Where two
parties are equally anxious, terms are easily de-
cided upon; so, in this instance, and before Mrs
Alton had worn her widows weeds scarce
year, she laid them aside, put on bridal robes
and became Mrs Charles Harding Then there
followed a few months at the fashionable water
ing places, where, as the newly married couple
were alone with each other but very little, they
were happy enough together.
After three months-the three months which
are designated 1.-THE season"-had been divided
between Niagara, Newport and Saratoga they
returned TO their quiet home in the village of
NJ tired and worn out by their dissipa-
ton and each one inclined to be little irrita-
BILE
They had been at home but few days, when
the husband proposed party of their friends in
the village, to relieve the monotony of their
life at home. To the proposed party Mrs. II.
readily assented, but not so easily would she
agree to her husbands plans of said party for
while DR.. Harding desired little supper party,
content to entertain his friends with cold meats,
pastry, ices, and wine, his spouse was ambitious
for regular dnner-party, such she had
witnessed during her summer tour. She de-
sired to surprise the village of NJ with the
magnificent display of a fashionable dinner, ,witE
its regular courses of soups fishes, meats,
games, etc, and its profusion of eatrees side
dishes, pastries and desserts The more they
talked the matter over, the more apparent it be-
came that they would not agree in fact the
matter ended one evening in a downright quar-
| rel. As this was their first quarrel the hus-
/ band decided that he must conquer and fer the
same reason the wife was determined that she
would not succumb and, as it seemed impossi-
/ bic TO conciiate matters, each one determined
/ to give a party as they chose. So DR.. II. en-
tertained his friends in the study, and the same
evening Mrs Fl. received her guests in the par
/ lor.