The Buchanan County guardian. (Independence, Buchanan County, Iowa) 1858-1864, 1861-03-12

order which the barkeeper-who hat
seen Muggins once before on that day
understood perfectly, and Immediately
produced two bottles of green seal cham
paign, at three dollars and half a bot
tie.
l seized Muggins by the collar l sal
Muggins down in the chair; I jammed
Muggins down hard, and 1 held him
there put on my severest look, and
did my digni6edest.
Muggins," said I, calmly, land
made my voice come from my first vest
button =" Muggins, be calm Mug
gins"--here my voice sank to the pit o.
my stomach" Muggins. don't be fool
Muggins, I can't drink any of that wine
because, Muggins, here my voice sol.
emnly descended to the very soles of my
boots-"I've sworn of, Muggins."
He looked at me helplessly, and at las
stammered out, family:
But baby, first baby, real boy, nc
sham, genuine animal, frst-class article
of baby, head on him, legs all complete
you must-drink-baby."
| thought he was going to faint, and
gave him glass of wine. Exhausted as
he was, he had sense enough to refuse tc
drink, unless should join him.
What could l do? The man must be
sayed-his life must be spared to his wife
and baby-I said to the bystanders
drank Muggins was saved and we put
him into carriage and sent him home
Then the fellows who had heard me
say that | had sworn off, came around aud
asked me to drink. | solemnly refused
| told them l had swor'a of.
But Jones took me aside, and told me
curious but interesting fact; that fact
was" Baby"
Jones, as we'll as Muggins was happy
father-so was Mrs. Jones-and as well
as could be expected. We drank tc
Jones's baby. Gin cocktail to Jones's
baby
Was going home; but Stiggins now
said that he had word to say to me ir
private. That word was:
BABY !"
By curious coincidence, Mrs. Stigg
ins, etc. Though l had sworn off,
could do no more than drink to Mrs
Stiggins's speedy recovery. Then
started for the door. Somebody said
i" Take drink 90
Gentlemen" said /, "I've sworr
off p
Robinson, pale and excited, asked for
a moments silence, while he announ Gee
some happy intelligence. Need | say
that the intelligence was
BABY |"
Mrs. Robson, etc, had been and SO.
fortified last night, and Robinson was
happy father. Could | refuse to drink
to Robinson's baby? Anyhow, I dio
not.
We drank to RS B. in beer; ther
we wined RS b.; then we gin, cocktaileC
said baby, then brandy -slinged-I NEAR
brandy -slung-the baby; then, on my
suggestion that must go, for | was go
ing to swear off, we took parting no
rum and water, all to r. IS b., and Jones':
b., and all the others BIS; then
swore off.
Then Luffky came in, hurriedly, tc
say
"BABY mp
We cocktailed Luffky's baby. and beer
ed it, and-at my cost-had couple o.
bottles of wine to LIS b.
Then / sworo off,
Before got to the doors-of which
there were by the time several-Grimb,
came in, and proclaimed aloud. in tri
umph-Baby, you say of course. Baby
that's only half
"TWINS Ill"
We drank tho twins, brandy. beer
wine and sherry then-at my sugges
ton and expense-we had bottle or twt
of green seal to the health of the twins.
Then | swore off,
No, | couldn't have sworn off here
either for | remember cocktailing
boy, and sangareeing a girl, and cham
paigning lot OF mothers happy recoy
cries after that
Oh, know il was here tha. Max
tarvale leaped upon the table and howleC
TRIPLETS !lll"
We brandy punched those triplets
and mint juleped the mother to that ex
tent that really imagined myself in tn,
fashion, and positively announced tha
Mrs. D. had made me the happy fathe
of two pairs of twins, consisting Of min
girls and boy. Other fellows came in