davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1861-02-27
A Tery Domestic Wan,

THE following, which made us
laugh-more by liz manner than MATTE.
lis one oftho good things that Shanghai
Chandler of the Adams Co., Iadepend
ent occasionally ''gcts off,
Our Shanghai editor is married
mana very married man,-keeps two
cows, calf, hens, hens husbands, Faust
horse, no dog, gay sleigh, and SIGH like
quadrupeds. He believes in having
milk in family; and verify 'twould
please thee to witness the farmertorial
airs be puts off, as be goeth forth like
flower snd runneth among the hans and
milketh We bovines. Belize bis dignity
went rapidly down t other night. New
mich cow taketh TO herself certain
habit of extending hinder foot with
yank. Ss
Editor SGT at tactical glands, pail clasp
ed twixt bis knees, ard thus engaged in
teat squeezing, be was heard to utter, in
n very solemn tone; Kick not, that We
be not kicked. Fo, with what violence
We kick, We shall be kicked; and with
What measure ye eat meat from, it shall
be swatted over your counter ance.'-
Anon the bossy kicked like forkcd lightn-
ing, laying Shanghai Chandle- Sat on
his stable floor, completely painting him
with foamy juice, Tapping his bat
far to the lee-ward, janming up tho tin
milk pail like a stepped on stove pipe, and
causing white editor to spout milk
from his nose like porpoise.
And then the wall that was heard
was this; She hath lain my confidence
waste and barked nv shin; she hath
made the miIk-pail closn-nasty, and cast
the milk away; the front of Shanghai is
made white. Howl all We little fami-
lilies for this kettle O milk is cut off from
your months! Below, calf, crack your
cheeks! Had l youi tongue and voice,
I'd use them so that heavens vault
should crack 0, It's gone forever,
twill come no more; never, never, new
er, never! Break heart. / prithec
break! Pm very much Disguised; I'm
a 6ody-'a demnition cold, wet. kicked,
unclean, unpleasant Jodyf
So saying he smote the cow with G
terrible curse, saying darn your skin -
then kicked her jus: one kick, with such
force that he said he hal driven his toe
nail clear back to his heel, and went ia
and asked Mrs Editor to wash him off.
Seiah.
The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1861-02-27

RECIPES The genuineness of tho
following recipes can be easily tested by
those who may be doubtful:
To make Mess.-Pour a quart of
molasses into your wife's new bonnet.
TO keep Fish from smelling.-Cut
off their noses.
To make Blackberry Jam.-Put
twenty-four blackberries in a goose
quill.
To make a cord of rood go great
acays.-Leave it out of doors. 1t has
been known to 60 two miles.
To make Hens Lay.-Nsing their
necks.--fhey will lay anywhere tbea
To cure a Feloa.-Suspend by the
neck about half an hour. -
To make boots lost four gears
Grease them well with mixture made
of tallow. lamp black a d 'boeswax -
then ser them away in the closet and go
barefoot.
4 cure for loue.--Call on your
lweetheart before breakfast.
The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1861-02-27

The YANKEE APPLEs.-A tall, green
looking Yankee aceos:sd q visitor at
country fair, having fine looking apple
in his band, and begged him to tell Tho
name If be could. He tasted it; but,
shade of Pomona! Of all the sour spples,
he ever ate, this capped the cliisaz. II
was worse that verjuice. "Waal, meow
stranger" said the Yankee, "thats tho
most useful apple on my hull farm. L
call it the Yankee apple, cause
it can't be beat. 1t lsoksso good, and
vet is so tarnal sour, that used 1t to.
graf on all the limbs Of my apple trees
standing nearthe road; ths upper limbs
to Greetings, Swaars, and SIGH IKE good
apples. Meow, the boys seem SIGH good
lookin' apples handy, jump the fence
seize the first fair one they can reach
take one bite but I swow after one bite,
they never wal. to take another, but run
off as fast as legs can carry EN- to Dos
con Simmons orchard to get one of hls
GOOD Baldwins to take the sour taste ont
Of their mouths. BY orchard has GER
tainly an orful reputation with the ran
generation and so | save ny fruit = c2E
# this ere is not very useiu. apple 70
like to know what u.s."
The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1861-02-27

PATRIoTIc.-Some lecturer on the
subject of Life Scenes in the west gets
oftbo following truly patriotic strain;
'Out upon the Platte Valley, l once
witnessed Il scene that shall never for
get. Upon one of the banners that float
ed in the breeze upon the Fourth Of July
was inscribed with pokehtrry juice, the
following m. ito, 'PaIsied be the hand .hat
darcs pluck one star from the bright con
steIlauon. The hearts Of these pioneers,
said the lecturer, throb to-day i'll sympa-
thy with the great heart of the nation;
and while The heart at the centre is thus
healthy, aud the lungs on either side, in
mailing the air Of the two oceans, remain
sound and healthy, the polIutel feet Of
tritors may kick, but they will ne' or be
able to kill. II however, said be, We
mus: surrender any part Of thu ensign Of
our liberties, the motto Of every Aneri-
can patriot should he: Hold on with
undying grasp to every star, but giro tho
rebels the stripes.
The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1861-02-27

A FRIEND ofours vas riding with ous
Ct the fair sex. al! ola summers dav,
and accidentally (n1cn's arms, awkward
lh ngs, are even m,he ~ay) dropped az
arm around Ler waist. No objection
whatever WAS made fer awhile, and tho
arm very gradually relieved the side 81
the carriage oftI.s pressure upon it
But of a sudden, whether from lats is'
coxnticn of the IMPROPERLY Of tie shing,.
OF the sight Of n0other bean coming, me-
thcr wns cIoarIy evident, the l,,iy .fariu'i
with 81 oicanie energy, and 's.h flashing
eye exclame1, Air. can support
myself. 'Capitai' was the Instant rcp'y;
y on are just the gill re been locking
:Yr til, Sc five years. NlIl you marry
ne!
The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1861-02-27
MANUFACTURING, IG.


ED. .TounxAL- While | do not so
fuIy apprgci"te all "the advantages of
tie St. Croix Valley over the Valley of
the Connecticut" as does my friend,
judge FOSTER, still think it possesses
advantages we'll worthy of candid consid-
Grafton; but it is the farmer, the wool
growing farmer in particular, whose at
tention should first be arrested, and his
interests first be considered. Manufac-
tories would be dead property here with
no material to operate with. Mate
rial aid, such as water power, and rs
sistance in building" will be duly appre-
ciated by the manufacturer, whenever we
have the aid material to supply the fac
tories.
Let it first be understood that we have
about the best country in the world f
sheep raising and wool growing, and let
the thousands of acres of land now un-
occupied 10 the Valley of the St. Croix.
become extensive sheep pastures, and we
shall find manufactures established here,
aud bo relieved Of all necessity of giving
a bonus to Eastern capitalists. Instead
Of offering water-power and assistance IN
building to contemplating manufacturers" "
l suggest that the land spectators offer
their lands at reduced prices to entorpris-
ing farmers, and that farmers who are
trying to cultivate three times rs much
land as they can do justice to, should Of
fer to sell one half, one third, or even one
fourth Of their farms to some friend at
the East or South, and invest the money
thus received in sheep and turn their at
tention to raising them. This done, and
our population will be doubled in two
wears, and manufactures will start as q
natural consequence.
Itmay l'o said that if manufactures are
once established here, emnigra ion will
naturally set in this direction, and that
our farmers will at once turn their atten-
ton to wool growing. This may be true,
anu yet there can be no valid objection
to raising sheep and wool Lero in adj
vance of starting manufactures. The
cost of transporting wool to Eastern mar
kets is comparatively trifing, and it is,
doubtless, more profitable than any other
investment the farmer can make.
But while we are talking about manu-
factories, and contemplating our future
greatness. there is one matter important
to be taken into consideration. 1t vii,
never do for us to depend upon the East
ern States for our supply of operatives.
You are aware that they are mostly io.
males, and the demand here for wives is
so great that it will be long time he
fore there can be enough cbtaiged, or
rather re tanned to "run'' a factory. In
this, our most salubrious and heaIthful
climate, where even our evenings are
nearly as delightful as the open day at
the East, and more especially where there
are 50 many bachelor editors. lawyers,
loctors, farmers and mechanics, it is
not reasonable 10 suppose that you can
long confne the New England girl with
in the walls of Western mandatory.
Yours, A. MoRsE.
River Falls Feb o. 1851
The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1861-02-27

THERE is something almost ludicrous
in the mbeciIity of the President Of the
United States government. Over the
door Of the White House should be Erit-
ten, Insults received here Senators of
seeding States cannot conceal their con-
tempt Of the government they repudiate,
and take leave of Congress with an inso-
lence which would be insupportable, even
if it came from the lips of spotloss homes
ty and loyalty. lam constantly remind
ed of the story of the rough teamster,
whose cart was followed by a weak old
man. commanding him to stop-a com
mand to which the whistling driver paid
no heed. who is that old man q inquir-
ed n passerby. 'Oh,' said the driver,
that's father why don't you obey
HIM" 'WeIl,' drawed out the other,
that's good joke. None of US at home
care anything for what he says. Moth
er don't, and Jake don't, and we've cen
Almost taught the dog not to mind him.
The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1861-02-27
ry- The II. s. Houses of Representa-

Eg The Z. s. Houses of Representa-
tives yesterday by q unanimous vote
passed resolution declaring THAT Meth
er Congress nor the people or Govern
ments of the non-sIaveholding States
have constitutional right to leglslate up
OH or interfere with Slavery in any slave
holding State of the Union" If this
does not satisfy the shareholders, nothing
will ew York Tribune.
The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1861-02-27
Co. 1iqricultaral Society.

Co. 4Agricultural Society.
To bal. as per report,
Feb. 1860, 500 90
Cash from State of
Wisconsin, 100 90
Members, 100 90
+" Admission
tickets, fair 1850, &c 90
- I" other sources, 2 so
BY amt. of premiums
paid, $l44 90
expenses county fair
1850, los 20
Other expenses at
tending State Fair
&C., l49 IS
The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1861-02-27

IL my time, MISS SAL stern aunt
the men looked st the women tHces in
stead Of their anhlean 'Ah! bat ny
dear aunt retortcd the Young lady, you
SEQ the world has improved, and is more
civilized than it used to be. 1t looAs
more to the understandings
The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1861-02-27

Ey The majority of the Douglas
Democratic papers are urging the Re
publ,caus t" compromise with the Slave
Ststes. At the Charleston and Balti-
more Conventions the same parties urg-
eL these Democrats to compromise, and
accept the Breckenridge platform,
They refused. Why? Because
they knew the people of the free States
would repudiate that platform and all
who stood upon it. They now urge the
Republicans to do what they dared not
then do themselves. Their persuasions
will be in vain.
The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1861-02-27

In novel at Margate Library, this
passage was marked and much tlumbed:
there is no object SO beautiful to me AS a
conscientious young man. watch him
as | do star in heaven" "That is my
view exactly" sighed Miss Josephine
Hoops, as she laid down the volume
"In fact, think there's nothing SO beau
tiful as young man, even if he amt
conscientious.
The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1861-02-27
"SLIppERY PLAcEs."-The Christiai

"SL1ppERY PLAcEs."-The Christian
Advocate gets off the following.
"At the meeting in one Of our
churches not long since, the exhortatons
Of the brethren seemed to turn to the
slippery places on which the sinner
stands. At length olo of the sisters,
carrying out the allusion, said that it
seemed to her that some of thu mem
bers of the church, too, preferred slippery
places to the prayer-me Misunderstanding
to the skating mania in the city,"
The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1861-02-27

A PITrsFIEID men who had won q
fat turkey ut rails, and whose pious
wife was very inquisitise about bis meth
Cd Of obtaining the poultry, satisfied her
scruplcs at last, by the witty remark that
the shakers gave it to him.
The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1861-02-27

Eg- \ bill has passed the legislature
poetponing the sale of lands for delin-
quent taxes in this county, from April
ii. September, of this year.
The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1861-02-27
$39S 81 s399 81

The report was accepted. and the
Committee discharged.
o. StrahI, from Committee on Field
Crops for the town Of Clifton, submitted
the following report in regard to piece
of corn cultivated by D. B, Bailey
To the Pierce County agricultural
.Society:--The undersigned, committee
on field crops for the town of Clifton,
wohld respectfully report as follows
d. B. Bailey, of said town, applied
for premium on price of corn con
tanning about l33 acres in the whole. /
measured the ground upon which -
rows stood near the middle Of the piece
and supposed to be about AZ avarage Of
tho crops.
There was one acre and three rods,
and according to the annexed statement
it yielded 81 bushels and q lbs. to the
acre.
1t was of the yellow dent variety, and
the second crop ON the land (irst crop
oats.
Planted about the usual time, in rews
4 feet each way, and thinncd to four
stalks hill. Ground plowed once and
narrowed before planting.
TWAS tended during the season as fol
lows
Ist, with cultiyator followed with hoe.
End, ("
The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1861-02-27
Judicial Elections.

Two Julges are to be voted for at
Ito Spring elcction--an Associate JUS
tice of the Supreme Court, in place Of
Judge COLE, and County Judge in
place Of judi &c HOWE. Judge KSowL-
ros ofJanesvile, and Judge Cole, the
present incumbent, are both spoken ofas
candidates for the Office first mentioned.
We hardly know who arc aspirants for
the Office of County Judge. The call for
q County Convention to make a nomin-
alton may be seen in another column.
The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1861-02-27

STOP that abominable noise said a
commanding officer to horrid trnmpetsr
in the midst of a battle; we can stand fire,
but we can't stand that ar.
The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1861-02-27
IapupEsr FREsoHMEN's TALK ABour

.IMPUDENT FRENCHMEN 5 ] ak ABoUT
WoMEN.-Prion, the French satirist.
once said that it was impossible to respect
any woman after you had become init
nsately acquainted with her.
BaIzac ascribes the fall of many wo-
men to the beauty of their for,as; their
vanity preventing them from enjoying
such knowledge alone.
The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1861-02-27

re- "Don't you think, usbsnd.
that you arc apt to believe cYsry
thing YOU heart" Mnda.a, ''nos
wLan yov tslk.
The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1861-02-27
DELpnos, Allen Co., Ohio, July 2eth

DELpnos, Allen Co., Ohio, July 2oths
1855.
Messrs. j. n. HARRIS q Co.-Gen-
tIemen II have sold Dr.. S. O. Richard
sons Sherry Wine Btters for several
years, and can cheerfully recommend
them to the public as y medicine Of De-
cided merit in all crises Of Geneal Debility,
Dyspepsia, Fever and Ague, etc.
Yours truly, J.W. HUNT, Drugsist.
Sold by A. D. Andrews Il Co.
The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1861-02-27
E. C. FARNSWOR

Il. y. Ann . W OleI1 IL.
STATE OF WISCONSIN
Pierce County,
I, D. B. Bailey, do solemny swear
that the above statement is correct, SO
help mo G)l.
d. B. Bailey.
Subscribed aud sworn to before me, at
Prescott, this 10th day of February,
1851.
S. r. GUM, Clerk of Circuit Court
BY 0. SrRAHL, Deputy.
The report was accepted, and Com
discharged.
On motion, the Treasurer was in
structed to pay the premium awarded
for the best newspaper report of the last
Far, on report of the Com.
The following resolution was adopt
cd =
Resolpsd, That the Co Board of Su-
perrisors be requested to appropriate the
sum OF one hundred dollars annually to
this Society to be expended for the pay
ment of premiums, and that orders
therefor be filed with the County Treas
urer.
On motion, q premium was awarded
to D. B. Bailey on crop of corn, as re-
ported by Com.
On motion, the meeting adjourned.
w. C. DENISON,
S. r. GUM. Recording Secretary.
The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1861-02-27

ALL men look to happiness in the fu-
ture. To every eye heaven and earth seem
to embrace in the distance.
The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1861-02-27

Poor Pickens-The Head of South
Carolina.
The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1861-02-27

SOME chap adsertises in IN Eastern
paper fora neat and obliging young wo-
man to assume ths>'duties of his house
hold
The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1861-02-27
Sd, g plow q g
4th, cultiyator
o. STRAHL, Committee.

Clifton, Feb. 10th, 1861.
l hereby certify that from twelve rows
of corn through near the center of a
piece raised by D. B. Bailey was husked
one hundred ard Ten baskets of ears. Al
so that one basket Of ears shelIed thirty
five pounds Of corn, making sixty-clght
bushels and fortv-two pounds for the
twelve rows.
The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1861-02-27

STATEMENT OF THE BANK COMP
rRoLLER.-Tho public will look with in
terest to the official statement of the con-
dtion of the Banks of this State, by Bank
Comptroller VAN SrEENwYK.
The whole number of Banks in oper-
alton is 10, with circulation of $4,495.-
783. Twenty-three banks are winding
mp. These had yet in circulation, at the
beginning of the present month, s27,-
e5s, which add to the circulation of the
banks in operation, forms an aggregate
of s 1854. Amon5 the Slate Stocks
des as security are Sl75,5Oo in
Lo> and $4,000 in Georgia
Bono. .es that have seeded from
-
R.srINe, r.. IS, unreasonable SC!
thy Initials slis.-rr,,d, in forthcoming
dcs;iny: Size ca. Tn
The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1861-02-27
$l6474 Sl66 81

1854 IA $166 81
Balance due S. R. Gum, 81 81
Also the report of J. H. Southwick as
follows
j. IL SoWswick, in ncct. wttk Pierce
The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1861-02-27

AMERICAN REVEREND POS Law.

AMERICAN REVEREND POS Law
The sergeant alarms will clear The gall
leries. : cried tho Speaker of the House Of
Representative in answer to an outburst
of applause from that quarter Of the hall.
on one of the most exciting occasions in
orr congressional history. Clear the
galleries" jee,ingly whispered foreign
minister, rs he glanced at the dark heaV-
ing mass above him. but how are you
going to do itf Where are the bsyon-
cts that shall thrust the people out OF
their own ci:adels A slender voting
man approached, and in quiet, eo!lec-
ted tone said: Gentlemen, the Speaker
orders the galleries to be cleared; ysT
must ,etire-clear the galleries" AVE-
weat the agitated crowd, without
ment's remons!rance or hesitation. Tue
forei ner looked on, and in Amusement
exclaimed. What p government. what
apeore! $3.50
Nothing so very surprising in this, We
say-for We have always been familiar
with it. But the foreigner was right
The implicit submission OF free people
10 authority il truly marvel, and it hss
done more than oil other causes combined
to give our county its proud eminence.
Reverence for law is the very vital
essence of our free institutions, without
which they could not endure for q mo-
molt.-N. +. World
The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1861-02-27

Mr.. Mexican Of this State has intro
duced into Congress resolution instruc-
ting the Select Committee of Five to in
qnire whether, by the consent Of the
Slave States and by compromising the
shareholders, it be practicable for the
General Government to procure tho
emancipation of the slaves in scme or all
of the border States, and if SO to report
bill for that purpose. This is move i'll
the right direction, and we hope it WILDE
followed ap.--N Y. Tribune.
The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1861-03-24


MIS-. f afH ssv fSH sIsTSs5 PEaRF
rLgTos CHILDREN REBEL;
xpw THE NsEfs Ss o. NosIAL Lo SI,,ss
MUsicfrHf AND fEsIshhl!yE sFfE1Ts coSsiDER-
pEpARTrR ast OF r TAfl SEVEN SSp sisrEss
DA rIgi5 Il As WITH srE Tah Gs EEESD
rM AsTE ERw 4 r rHAST ToSs
sIS ft$ Gia ssa
BEHIND s ssE sssSs b TissEER rrrsrs
s sa5ns 81 G8hs1ss Eas fHyHHs
aSz ss s3T saE S ST oTF u s SSSsss
GU GurI rs ASD scS0qNnr1ECTioEERsYy;
ra SFf aoE5 Sss5E FSEso R4 SSSSEEis'
1S Wis SSsf fss PS Ssh ES ssi5s.
GRAND z Ish 72g xxkc fpk AND DRILL
FEMININE coss5rss or zotAvEs.
Acr SECOND
MAGIC LANTERN.
win be presented
FOLLOWING beautiful UNION rABLEAux,
THE EBONY WEDGE.
GOOD OLD rf's ssfE Gos sTf
FIX Ill sS ss$sl HA EEss
THE SLAVE SCENE
THE H o1Elo shAsT Dsaas. HOME
wAsHs elss,t NIB S,S yAEsEy FORCE
APoTHEOSIS
WASHINGTON AND UNION
THIRD
rLUTo's FAMILY sTkAfGHTENED OUT,
THEY WANT TO 90 HOME
A LITTLE sALuTARy PuNgsH aHnrr
AZ a GENE sxhr f a,si.
WHERE'S THEM GALS.
SHE CALLS HfR MOTHER,
PLuTo's FAMILY AT HONE,
A GENERAL ACCUSATION,
A PLEA or GUILTY,
curFEE BANIsHED TO CUNET ISLAND,
CLAN CHOwDER,
PUNISHMENT or DfAvoLTNE AND SATANELI.
INVOCATION TO CERES
Wish I WAS IN DIXIE,
THE GREAT SCENE
BIRTH OF THE BUTTERFLY
BOWER or FERNS,
Seats may be secured one week IN advance without
Performance terminates al 10 O'Clock.
The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1861-03-24

IRVING HALL, CORNER OF FIFTEENTH STREET
j. and Irving e-Compimentsry Concert TO Miss Mary
= Thoms Zone OF the well known Sunday school vocsts,
martha Davies Martha Corwin and Master Henry Hayden
among the number: Messrs G. w. Palmer and NJ L.
Quick, tenors; ard sohn O. Pierson and V. rerhunc
bassos OF New York The chorsses will be sung BY sixty
in New York Brooklyn Williamsburg and Jersey City Mr.
william Mckorke, from Europe, Will preside at OF the
celebrated Alexandra and Mrs PArkhurs the popu
lar psnist OF Brooklyn at the pisno Mr. Horace Waters
York director and conductor Tickets rs cents; for
sale at Waters 33 Broadway and at the principal music
Doors nj g. concert TO commence At ~ O'Clock
Miss Mary Thoms musical young miss OF much promise
She sung for the benefit of than two hundred sun
Schools churches aud benevolent institutions during the
past three with great satisfaction TO all who nave
heard and IT Is the wish Of her friends that
Irving Hall may be full on this occasion.