Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1861-02-06

A LADY's HEART TO BE LET.

fiOhOfy autlClPdtcu tuo pIOpOccu flslt VI
his nephew. His landlady, Mrs. Nagger,
strongly objected to being "put about, !" espe-
cially on Sundays, and Mr.. Vickery foresaw,
that to provide breakfast for q hungry young
fellow, who had walked from Clements Inn,
and who was accustomed to grilled fowl and
deviled kidneys for his matutinal repast would
be sure to ''put her about" to a very consider
able degree. Poor Old Vickery, He was a
miserable serf in his own stronghold. Worse
than all, he had himself forged the chains that
bound him within the power of the remOrseless
Nagger. He had given her notice to quit about
nine times during the first two years of his to
naclty, but had always invented some wretched
excuse to withdraw the notice. He hated
meying; he hated finding fault. 1t was ''of no
consequence" thank you; ne would rather take
things as they we're; and SO on. The Nagger
sJ7n found out his weakness, and acted accord
ingly. She was lady Of spare and martial
aspect, addicted to a highly aggressive style of
head-dress, which she bobbed at you when she
was ''put about" though il were some novel
weapon of Ofense. She had, also, habit Of
wrathing her arms about. under her apron
which made Mr.. Vickery nervous for, upon
one occasion, he had seen her launch a slop-
basin at the head of a refractory maid of all
work; and when she entered his presence with
her hands in the above mentioned position Mr.
Nickery never felt quite sure that she was not
provided with some similar appliance for chas-
tising him should he too deeply offend
1t was, therefore, in the most submissive and
repentant tones that the mild gentleman broke
to his tyrant the intelligence Of his nephew's
contemplated invasion, casting the while fur
tive glances at the covering under which the
angry Nagger's bare arms were writing con-
vulsively, and taking care to plant himself
within dodging reach Of a large arm chair, the
high back Of which might serve him as a ram
part against the expected bomba. iment. Mrs
Nagger heard him out, and when he had quite
finished his suggestions for breakfast, togeth-
er with his humble apologies for giving her so
much trouble, she looked him Up and down the
seams Of his trowsers and the buttons of his
waistcOat three times slswly finishing off each
survey with an aogry bob of the highly aggres-
siye cap.
else?" 80
"0h, no, thank you, Mrs. Nagger; nothing,
nothing, assure you, pleaded her lodger.
HO, 'unbly return you my duty, sir"
eJaculated the Nsgger, making deep curtsey.
d" thought, perhaps, you'd like me to make
my apartments into a public 'ouse, at onc't
for you and your nePhews to get guzzling
This last observation was caused by Mr..
Vickery having ventured to requst that a half
dozen pint bottles Of bitter ale might be sent
for.
My gGod Mrs. Nagger," replied Mr.. Wick
cry, 'really, if thou yht-"
IF you thought but you don't think, Mr.
me about Deviled kidneys and bitter ale for
breakfast; Where do yeu expect to goto, Mr..
Fickery?''
Well, thea, Mrs. Nagger, suppose we say q
cold pigeon pie instead. -
Mr.. Vickery thought this a master piece Of
diplomacy.
- He calls himself man." said the landlady,
looking solemnly out of the top square of the
window, "and wants me to 90 sitting up all
night, baking him pies
No, no, nO,' exclaimed Mr. Vickery s.you
misunderstood me. l mean pigeon pie from
the confectioner's III order it myself, and it
shall be sent home. Come, como, Mrs Nsgger,
don't be yexed; it's only once in way; we
will not give you any trouble, I assure you"
The autocrat of Prospect House would not,
however, ''cOme, come" Dire threats did she
mutter concerning what she would "up and
tell the offending Jack, and criticised. rather
freely, his uncle conduct, in encouraging his
''guzzling and his muZzling;" and it was not
until 1t was arranged that all the yiands for
the contemplated Orgie were to be ordered
from the pastry cooks, ready dressed, that her
ylrtusus Indignation at such ''gOins en-" in her
house abated. As it was, poor Mr. Vickery
led sorry life of it for the rest of that week
reply to the important question, ''Where he
expected 70 go to ?" being constantly demand
ed Of him, when he expostulated about having
70 ring seven times for dinner and at finding
Shts bed in the same state upon retiring to rest
morning. He was, moreover, tod that 'slf
people tcoHEd put other people about till they
didn't know II they was on their head or their
heels, they must not expect to be fiddle -faddled
after all day.
Mr.. Vickery feebly intimated that be didn't
require to be ''fddle-faddled after all day;
that if his rooms were made commonly habit
able, and his meals supplied within an hour of
the time at which they were ordered, he should
be content; whereupon Mrs. Nagger angrily
retorted that she was not going to be put upon
by him (Mr. Vickery) or anybody else and
that if he couldn't behave like gentleman,
he'd better give notice and go. / repeat it
II was a sorry life that the kind old gentleman
led for the rest OF that week
Saturday was washing day in Prospect House
The rain came down from morning till night
so Ghat Mr.. Vickery could not 60 out The
steam came up from Mrs. Nsgger's boilers
from morning until night, so that he was half
boiled at home. His mutton chops-ordered
at four-were served at seven, all raw and
frizzled, as though they had been cooked in a
candle. His fire went out, for want of Goals
his lamp refused to burn, for want of oil and
when. after having rung and called till he was
tired, for those necessaries, he ventured to
seek them for himself, in the lower regions, he
was driven thence with ignominy, by the
wrsthful Nagger. who asserted that it was like
his imperence, coming peering and prying
about the house like that. 1t was not in the
hlloet OOueOntou spiElt, tucu, luht MT ofemldn
Vickery sat down to the perusal of his Times
that evening by the light Of his bedroom
candle
Mr. gickery was very partial to that mystic
rious second column. He always read it first
He liked to know what was lost or found He
said somebody might have picked up some
thing belonging to him-not that he missed
anything, but that did not matter. 90 Hs." he
reads. Humph.' let me see. tom, who
left his home on Tuesday, is implored to re-
turn Yes-that's one side of the question
wonder how many Toms there are whom people
would implore to be of and keep away. Dog
lost Horse found Ha. nothing in t. "Oh,n
continued Mr.. yickery, glancing down his
favorite column" Goodness gracious, what's
this,' As the advertisement that Occasioned
this exclamation was a curious one, we copy it
TerbafIm:
"A LADY's HEART TO BE LEr.-A lady of re-
fined ideas and domestic habits is desirous of
meeting partner for life. A personal inter-
view is requested. Address Constance, Post
Office, Hampstead" ...,..
What very funny person Constance must
be" thought Mr.. yickery " Let me now see
yb,t q ~ II alo h.