Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1853-1862, 1861-02-12

Vanity Fair has an account Of an interview be-
tween tae President elect and Artemus Ward The
latter finds Mr. LINCOLN prosecuted by applicants for
Office, and describes the means by which he clears
the premises:
Cried Old Abe, "they come upon mo from the
skies-down the chimseys, and from the bowels Of
the yearth.p He had mt more'n got them words ont
of his deliCte mouth before two fat Office seekers
from Wisconsin, in endeaverin to crawl between his
legs for the purpose of applyin' for the tolgate-
ship at Milwawky, upset the President elect, and he
Tonid hoy gone sprswlin into the fire place if L
hadnt nore'n stood him up strate. before another
man come erashin down the chimney his head stri-
KING me Flenty agin the inard. and prostratin my
voluptoos form into the floor
"Mr' Llnkln, shouted the nfatooate being, "my
papers is signed by every clergyman in our town.
and likewise the sehoolmasterI@
eez l. you egreis ass, gittin' up yand brushin'
the dust IRON my eyes. "Ill sign ySu- papers with
this bunch OF bones, if you don't be a littIe more
keerfu how you make my bread basket a de,ot II
the futer. How do you ike that air nerfnmerv9f'
sez l. showing my INST under his rose. aThem's the
kind of papers Ill give youl Them's the Dapers
you want"
~But 1 workt hard for the ticket; I TITLED n;,h.
and dayl The patriot should be rewardedlT
Virtoo,' sed |, holdin' the infatooned man bv the
coat collar. 'yirtOO, sir, is its own reward Look
at mel He did look ct me, and qualed bet nv pase
The fact is continued, looking round uuon the
far
ile-lamp carried round durin' this campane wish
there was, / wish there was furrin missions tn be
filed on varisiOnely islandtys where eppydemies
rage incessantly, and if was Old Abe's place I'd
send every mothers son of you TO them. What air
you here for, continued, warmln' up eonsidera-
ble cant you Civ Abe minit's psace4 Don't you
see he's world most to DEATH Go home. you mis-
cradle men, 60 home and till The silel Go 2pedlin'
tinwafe-go TO bilin' sOpe-stuff sassengers-biack
boots-git clerkship on SUM respectable manure
cart-go round original Swiss Bell Ringers
becum origenal and only Campbell Minstrels- 60 to
lecturin' at dollars a 3ite-imbark in the peanut
bizness-write for the Leger-saw on your legs and
90 rOun giYiu' concerts. with tOuchln appeals to
charitable public, printed on your handbiils-any-
thing for honeft ivin, but don't come round here
drivin' Old Abe crazy by your outrajus cuttn up.
Go home. Stand not upon the order of your
goiR but onct If in five minits from this time,
sez pullin out my sixteen dollar huntin eased
watch and brandssIn' it be their eyes EFF in five
miRits from this time single sole Of you remains
these here premises III 90 out to nv cage near
by, and let my Bey Constructor lOOse and if he gifts
amung you, you'll think Old SolferinO has cum
again and mstakey You ought to have seen
them scampeP Mr.. Fair. They run OFF as tho
Satun himself arter them with red hot ten
pronged pitchfork. In five minits the premises was
clear
How kin ever repay you, Mr. Ward, for your
kindness p sed Old Abe, advanein' and shakin me
warly by the hand. How can ever repay you,
SIR
By givin the whole country good, sound ad-
ministratiOn. By poerin lie upon the troubled wa
ters, North and South. By pursooin patriotic.
firm and jest coarse, and thCn eff eny Stait wants to
secede, let EN- seceshp
How bout my Cabinit Ministry Ward y sed Abe.
'Fil it up with shomen sir ShOmen is devoid
of pollytlx. Tia haint got dern principle Tha
know how to cater two the pubIick- Tha no what
the publick wants, North and South ShOmen as is
honest men. Eff you dowt there Gtererry ability,
look at their posters and see smaul bills FL you
want Kabnet as is a Kabnet. fill il up with shO-
men, but don't call me. The morel wacks fig
gor perfeshion mustn't be peEmitted 70 go down
while there's a drop OF blud in these vanes. A.
Linkin, | wish you well. Eff Powers OF Wocutt
was to pick cut a model for beautiful man.
scarcely think they'd sculp you; but ef you do the
fair thing by your country you'll make a. putty an
angel as eny of us, or eny other man, a. Hnkin,
use the talents which nature has put into you Ju-
dishOusly and firmly, and all viii be well! a Lin
kin. adoo
He shook me cordyully by the hand-we excllan-
ged pictures, so we could gaze upon each others
Iniments when far away from one anOther-he at
the hellum of the ship of State, and at the helum
of the show bizniss- admittanee only 25 cents
ARTENUs WARD.