Cincinnati daily press. [volume] (Cincinnati [Ohio]) 1860-1862, 1861-02-23

AEtemuS Ward Among the Shakers His
"YayIns" Experience with Two Pretty
| ShRkeresses.
Artemus Ward, in this weeks Vanity Fair,
gives some Of his experiences among the
Shakers:
sot down to the table, and the female in
the meal-b bag poured out sum tea. She sed
nothin, and for five minits the only live thing
! in that room was a old wooden clock, which
tickt in q subdood and bashful manner in
the corner. This dethly stiffness made me
oneasy, and determined to talk to the fe-
male or bust. So sez /, "marrige is again
your rules, bleeve, marm2"
"Yay."
1.-THE sexes liv strickly apart, spect2"
"Its kinder singler," sez 1, putin on my
most sweetest look and speakin in a winnin
voice, that so fair made as thow never got
hitched to sum likely feller." IN. B.-She
was upward of forty, and homely as q stump
fence, but thawt I'd tickil her..
~ don't like men, she sed, very short.
Wall, 1 dunno" seq ], they're a
rayther important part of the populashun.
without EN-"
"Us poor wimmin folks would git along
CRATE deal better if there was no menu
you'll excuse me marin, but | don't
regler."
"I'm fraid of men |" she sed.
"Thats Unnecessary, marm. You amt in
no danger. Don't fret yourself on that pint
"Here we're shet out from the sinful world.
Hear all is peas. Here we air brothers and
sisters. We don't marry, and consekently
we have no domestic difficulties. Husbans
don't abooze their wives-wives don't worrit
their husbans. There's no children here to
woIrit us. Nothin to worrit us here. No
wicked matrimony here. Would thow like
to be a Shaker ?"
"No," SEE l, "it amt my stile."
had now histed in as big a load of per-
vishuns as l could carry comfortable, and,
leanin back in my cheer, commenst pickin
my teeth with O fork. The female went out,
| leavin me all alone with the clock. | hadn't
sot thar long before the Elder poked his he'd
| in at the door. " You're a man of sin !" he
sed, and groaned and went away.
Direckly thar cum in two young Shaker
esses, as putty and slick lookin gals as l ever
met. 1t is troo they was drest in meal bags
like the old one I'd met previsly, and their
shiny, silky har was hid from sight by long
white caps, sich as | spose female costs wear;
but their eyes sparkled lika diminds, their
checks was like roses, and they was charmin
| eDuff to make a man throw stuns at his
granmother, if they axed him to. They COM
menst clearin away the dishes, castin shy
| glanceS at me all the time. got excited.
forgot Betsy Jane in my rapter, and sez L,
"my pretty dears, how are your"
"We air WELL" they soumly sed.
"Whar's the old ?" sed l, in O soft
voice.
"Of whom dost thou speak-Brother
UIah ?"
mean the gay and festiv cuss who calls
me msn of sin. Shouldn't wonder if his
name was Uriah."
"He has retired"
"Wali, my pretty dears," sez I, "lets have
sum fun. Let's play Puss in the corner.
What say?"
"Air you Shaker, sir ?" they axed.
avail, my pretty dears, | haven't arrayed
my proud form in a long weskit yit, but if
they was all like you perhaps I'd jine 'em.
AS it is, I'm a Shaker protemporsry."
They was full OF fun. l seed that at fust,
only they was a little skeery. tawt EN-
Puss in The corner ard sich like plase, and
we had nice time, keepin quiet of course
so the old man shouldn't hear. When we
broke up sez l, "my pretty dears, ear 60
you have no objections, hav you, to inner.
sent kiss at partin p
"Yay," they sed, and ydyd