Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1861-09-12
A CoouETrE,s CONFESSION

WA eoquette. Many q lovers heart
bad lacersted By refusing their offers Of mar
rags, after had lured them on to q declar-
alton" Ny last victims name was james
Frazer. he was tall, awkward, hOmely, and
ungainly man, but his heart was as true as
steel. I respected him highly, and felt pained
when witnessed his anguish at my rejection
Of him. But the fact was, / had myself fallen
In love with Capt. Elliott, who had been unre-
mitting in his dsyotions to me. Mr.. Frazer
warned me against Elliott; but I charged him
with jealousy, and took his warning as an in
suit. few days Afterwards Elliott and we're
engaged, and my dream Of romantic love
seemed to be in q fair way Of realization. I
had week Of happiness. Many have not 50
much in a lifetime. Many awake from the
bright, short dream to find themselves in life
long darkness, and bondage from which there
Is no escape. Thank God, I was not 50 mis-
cradle as they,
Ny mother was q widow in opulent circum-
stances, but having very bad health, she was
also Of an easy, listless credulous nature, ha-
ting trouble, and willing to take things just as
they might happen to present themselves. She
therefore made no inquiries about Capt. Elliot
but fondly believed that inssmuch as he was
acaptain, he must necessarily be a man Of
honor also, especially as be had served in the
Crimea and in India, and wore medals. His
regiment was quartered in our neighborhood,
and he had the reputation of being one Of the
wealthiest, as he was certainly the handsom-
est, oeicer in it / remember as well as pos
siole the day We became engsged:-he was on
duty, but had managed to ride over to our
hsuse in his uniform, and while we were walk
ing in the garden he made the tender sYowal.
i referred him to 90 mamma" he hastened to
her-returned in three minutes--aId led me
into her presence to receive the assurance that
the maternal consent had been readily and
freely given! To be sure My dear mother
hated trouble, as 1 have ssid-and she more
over loved me tenderly; so that she was well
pleased TO hnd husband presenting himself
in form and manner apparently so eligible
for her beloved and only daughter.
Well, week passed quite delightfully."-, as
have said; and at the expiration of this brief
period there might one forenoon have been
seen a gay equestrian party riding through
our old Devonshire woods and quiet country
roads. Elliott and / led the cavalcade. /
rode my own beautiful Brown Bess. Captain
Elliott was mounted on the handsome black
horse that had been sent him from London.
Following US was a bevy Of merry girls and
their cavaliers; and among them WAS tall,
awkward, and silent James Frazer. His pres
ence had marred the pleasure of my ride, and
was glad to be in advance of them all that /
might not see him.
And so We rode on through the woods and
/ listened, well pleased, to the low but anina-
ted words Of the gallant Elliott, who wished
himself knight and me a fair ladye Of the
oldsn time, that he might 90 forth to do battle
for me, and compel all mon to recognize the
claims Of his peerless love. Very eloquently
he spoke of the inspiration of love, of the
brave deeds and perilous exploits IL had
prompted, wishing again and again that he
might thus proclaim and maintain his love be-
fore the world: 1t pleased me to listen to
this, and to believe il sincere, though I surely
had no wish 70 put my lover to such test
shot suddenly rang through the still
woods, and wounded bird, darting past, fut-
tered and fell at the feet Of Brown Bess
With bound and q spring that nearly un-
seated me, she was Of.
Struggling to regain my seat, / had no power
to restrain her; and even as she flew, the fear
and madness Of the moment grew upon her.
i could only cling breathlessly to the name
and bride, and wonder helplessly where this
mad gallop was to end. She swsrvsd from a
passing wagon, and turned into path that led
20 the river. In the sudden movement the
reins had been torn from my hands, and /
could not regain them. / clung to the mare,
and closed my eyes that might not behold
the fate that awaited me. How sweet was
life in those precious moments that thought
my last. How all its joys, its affections, its
lastcrowning love rose u before me thought
of the pang that would rend Ellott's heart as
he saw me lying mangled and dead; and then
the thought would come if he were pursuing
and trying to save me, even, as he had said,
at the risk Of life and limb.
remembered no more. / felt q sudden
shock, fearful rushing through the air, and
knew no more until, days afterward, woke to
faint; week semblance Of life in my chamber
at home.
never saw Capt. Elliott again The last
words / ever heard from his lips were those of
knightly daring. The last act of his life, in
connection with mine, was to follow in the train
Of frightened youths who rode after me, to
contemplate the disaster from afar, and, as
ha ma fka1f kha halt k.l
Of the river into which had been thrown
when my frightened horse stopped suddenly on
its bank, he rode hastily of. That evening he
sent to make inquiries, and learning that
was severely, but it was hoped not fatally, in
jared, be henoeforth contsnted himself with
such tidings Of my condition and improvement
a. could be gained from mere rumor.
At last, it was known that could never re-
cover entirely from the effects Of my injury,
and that very day Capt. Elliott departed sud
denly from the neighborhood. He made no
attempt to see me, nor sent me any farewell.
When was once more abroad, and beginning,
Though with much unallayed bitterness, to learn
the lesson Of patience and resignation that
awaited me, received q letter from him, in
which be merely said that he presumed my
own Judgment had taught me that, in my al
tered circumstances, our engagement must be
at an end; but, TO satisfy his own sense Of hon.
or, (hSs hoRor2) be wrote to say that, while
sired formal renunciation Of my claim.
Writing at the bottom Of this letter. "Let il
be as you wish, [" returned il TO him at once,
and thus ended my brief dream Of romantic
love. f-.-
Ihad heard ere this Of Plliott's cowardly
conduct on that day; and Low I first bethought
me to inquire who had rescued me from immi-
pent death And then Learned that James
Fraser, bis arm already broken by the jerk
with which Brown Bess tore away from him as
he caught at her bride, had ridden after me,
and been the first to lift me from the water.
Many times daily be had msde inquiries con-
cerning ME. Has had been the hand that sent
the rare flowers that decked my room HIS
were the words that breathed words Of comfort
and hope to my poor mother. Has were the
books I read in my lingering days of GONZALES
sence; and has, now, was the arm that sup
ported me, as slowly and painfully, paced
the garden walks.
Ihaye been his wife for many year. l have
forgotten that be is not handsome-or rather
he Is beautiful to me, because see his grand
and lovely spirit shining through his plain fea-
lures and snimsting bis awkward figure. /
have lon0 sinea laid azida uttarlv unter,-