Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1861-07-23
Matrimonial InEeciIities.
Going out 10 Dine. &
BIZ AN IRRITABLE MAN.

| "You need not wait dinner for me to-
day." | said to my Wife while l hngeres
over my second cup of coffee at the break
fast table, Gas ! expect to dine at the Bre-
WORT House with FRIEND"
There it is again." said the estimabl.
woman, you are always dining out, ant
enjoying yourself, while am compelled /,
stay at home and eat with the children.
cant remember when have been asked
out TO dine. l wish to gracious somebod,
II don't know who-would invite me 4
dinner. You have often promised me that
should dine at the Brevoort House with
you, but you have never taken me there .
simply, my dear" said /, because il
has never been convenient Some day OF
other, when you are down town, and wish
to go to some place of amusement in the
evening, instead of going all the way home
to dinner, flor we live near the Central
Par <, we will have coozy little meal at
the Brevoort House"
You have said that so many times, l
scarcely think it worth the while to place
any confidence in it again." said nv wife.
submissively. "But who are YOU going to
dine with to day ?"
with the artist who painted that glori-
our Sunset in the Catskills,' now on exbi.
bition in the Academy of Design, and the
author of the 'Outkast,' novel Just issued
which will attract marked attention in the
literary world"
We'll, hope you will have nice time, "
said my wife, but just think of me at
home, surrounded by noisy children, while
sHiu are dining with your distinguished
friends"
Il will, indeed, said l, and more than
that, we will drink to your health in q
trimming bumper of champagne"
81 don't think your doing so will i'm
prove my health at ALL" she answered =
The fact is, look on your dining out once
week or SO, as you do, as an imposition
upon me And | am very foolish woman
to submit to it"
You would certainly be a much more
foolish woman" l said, eff you failed to
submit to it with a good grace. Dining
out occasionally with my bachelor friends,
is about the only event in my married life
which serves to recall the days of nv row
ing, careless existence, and VIXEN / was
free from the trammels and annoyances of
matrimonial life"
''lf you feel trammelled," responded nv
wife, "what do You think of me. who am
chained, day after day and week after
week, to the house, with such unvieldipg
links as these children"
at is all your own fault" l said "tbat
you do not go out more"
But what would become of the chill.
dren, IT L went abroad making calls, and
shopping in Broadway. as some ladies do.
whom | know" said my wife.
81, Ill
go they will do we'll enough" | replied
F" You need not forever be attending to them
they are old enough TO take. care of
themselves; besides Katy is always here to
see to them"
Now, think it is too bad for you to
talk as you do; you never give me any
credIt FOR staying at home, and seeing to
the children. suppose you would notice
difference In their appearance and beha-
vior, if it were not for me- Whose hands
but mine, should like to know, sew the
buttons on, and repairs the rents in that
boys Jackets Who sees that his face and
hands are kept clean but mel"
"Why, Katy, of course" | responded.
"Of curse it isn't Katy" she replied
IF 1t were left to Katy, the boy would
seldom be clean. No, indeed, it is l who
have to say, at least dozen times a day,
Katy, think those childred require wash.
ing o: Katy, see what mischief those lit
tie ones are IN now, they are so quiet |
know they must be doing something
wrong That is just the way | have it
every day, and do think it is too bad
My life is actually wearing out in attends
ing to those children, and all the sympathy
ard satisfaction | can get from you, when
speak of my cares, is, never mind-lst
them CO."
"Well, if you will presist, my dear, in
staying at home and making servant of
yourself, | don't know what can do to re
lieve you. Now l have an idea about chill
dren, and that is, that the more you do for
them, then the more they expect you to do.
Never argue with a child or wemap -
Whip the one and leave the other"
(which would you whip my dear, said
my wife, sarcastically, woman or child H'
Geigned no answer to this, but contip-
uei-
when the two children are playing. and
one gets hurt, or quarreliDg, and one hurts
the other, whip them both, and nv word
for it, they will not often hurt each other,
or quarrel. In my little theory relation to
domestic government this rule PLAYS an i'm
portant part, and if you would only adopt
1t, you would find time in which to 90 on,
more. and also have less troublesome chill
dren around you"
They must have a different father
then said my wife, maliciously, "thsn
you Tor these children came honestly nv
their irritable and misc hievous disposi-
tons"
NOW you intend 20 vex me, said |. "by
pretending to mieundsrstand me, and put,
ting false construction upon nv words :
1t there be one thing | dislike more than
another, 1T is equivocatinD"
Wv ell, never mind about it now,n said
my wife, anxious to change the subject of
conversation, what time do you Isuppnse
you VIII come home think this evening ?"
ooh, after dinner" l replied.
'Of course-Sut how long afteri"
"Why-l canno: tell, exactly"
by nine O'Clock 2"
Yes, think So"
Now, my dear, | know better; said she.
81 see plainly By your manner of answer
ing me, that you have no intention of com
ing home before eleven or twelve o'clock.
am certain it is your purpose, after din
ner to go to some place of amusement,
should think it would be enough for you
to Cine away from your wife, and not leave
me alone, with only my sad thoughts, all
the evening. You men dou't consider that
we poor wives find no enjoyment in sitting
up TIL midnight in waiting for truant hus-
bands, who have been feasting at dinner
parties to come home. when often times, we
poor women are worried and careworn
with the days household duties. No,
you par'ake of those six or eight din
ner courses provided, to say nothing of
those costly wines and then, either while
away the evening smoking and telling sto-
RES or 20 to the theater or the opera"
but, my DEAR" said !, unable to endure
this TRADE any longer, 81 tell you positive
ly that will be home by nine O'Clock"
why remain out SO .ate as even that
Why not come home to night at seven ?"
For the very good reasen that as the
is a u an