Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1861-03-07
mit au0 Aumur.

A New VIEw pr NraoARA.-The Ohio
State Journal tells a story Of an Irish.
man of the better class, who thought he
must conform to the fashionable, mania 4
in paying q visit to the Falls of Niagara. q
He arrives at the Falls, and taking a.
look Mt the surrounding wonders. addrs-
ssed himself to gentleman: .. a, o.,
"And is this Niagara FallsF -,
Eyes, was the reply. '- .''' ,.,.." y. ...,'
"And what is there here to make such Z
"a bother about!' asked Pat. 'iIs oH1o" !
Why said the gentIenany ''do you
not see that mighty. river. the deep abi
yss. the great shoet ofewater pouring
down. -.-y.9,. ol, ~ ttI Ia.g fla
Pat, looking ut the, wafer. replies hes
itatingly: l.7s 5,,y, b,.. ,t.. I'D. ...s...
"An' what's to hinder it?'- -.. ,.
We suppose bulletts graze men, soms4
times, because they knoy that nll flesh
is grass. ,a 20 'ii sIjlsJ '-..t.a
Id just like to see you;'oas the blind
man said to the policeman when he told
him be would take him to tho station
house if be did not move on. 5a,"
Never firt with young widow who
calls you by your Christian name the se-
cond time you meet her, unless you have
quite made your mind up to the worst. t
ToxoLcoIcAL.-Somebody says that
young ladies are like afrows--they can
not bo got off without q beau. Some Is
dies have two strings to- their bow, but r
the most judicious bavo two beaus to one 7
string. ,ge1 sHsS t.i.a.I pr !ns noiiuii!'
SWALLOWED Hole. Tho other dsy, o'
our Charley, five years old, found ousiofS
those curious bone trimmed circles, Whicb,yl
| believe, ladies have named eyelets and
while playing in the garden, swallowed
it. The family were in the house, bua1
lily etgaged with worki,on entomology. s
when Charley ran in with his mouth wi
dc open, and his eyes dlstendod to their
utmost capacity. His mother caught
him by the arm, and. trembling With
that deep anxiety which Only mother
can feel, inquired: r.sss gael .s ra-i-'
"What's the matter2. What has hap
pened2' g0I1 !99QE1 3H LG. .H.1t
The urchin, all agape, managed to ar
ticulate:
"Yaterl' lt.'e ags ria! -e ..u
1t vas brought; when, after drinking
copiously, he exolaimed:u.s
"Oh. mother / swallowed a hole" a
".Swalowed a hole, Charleyf' .8T
"Yes, mother, l swallowed hole
with piece Of ivory round it. ,..
A QUAKER LErrEK.-The following 10
taken from an English paper:-.Frie
John, l desire thee to be so kind as to
20 to one of those sinful men in the flesh.
called attorneys, and let him take out an
instrument with seal thereto. by meana
whereof we may seize the outward tab
ernacle of George Green, and bring him
before the lathbskin men at Westminis. 0,
ter, and teach him to do in future a. ho L
would be done by.--Thy friend. .heoZsd ,1
.U .g .sn r. C.sW.lg
wArcn!So MS Tuns.-A ClefgyBsn Esd
come to preach charity sermon, and tho
clerk was assisting him to- robe -befora the
service commenced, whenIhe ssid,to hirn;--
"Plcasc, sir, am dcaf.'
"Indeed, my good man. said the Clergy
man, " then how do you manage to follow Il
me through the service. ,... ,..,,.,~ .yt
"Wby. sir, looks up, and when you shuts
your mouth / opens M ine.' ~ 81. "''''. '''''
"Can you tell asked o blooming lass Of .
suitor once, ''what ship carries more passcs-
gers than the Great Eastern.'i '
swell, madam, really, 1 don't.think can.
"Courtshp;' replied the maiden, with 8
conscious blush .....t....