The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1861-06-06
WHAT NOT d?

The man who had an idea floating in his mind
was found to have water in his brain.
An artist is not as strong as a horse, but he
can draw a larger object.
True.-Who let's one sit on his shoulders shall
have him presently sit on his head,
What color is it-that contains several ?--Ar
lumber "a lamber. 80
WHY is ice in q thaw like philanthropy p
Because it gives IN al direction,
Miss Jones says she only wears crinoline fol
FORMS sake.
When is q ship like a waterwoman? When
she is laboling in the water.
What word would give sorrow to the me.
chanic and Joy 20 the prisoner? Discharged.
The msfortunes that we bear with The great
est Christian resignation are those OF other PEG
pie.
What is that word of one syllable which, il
the first letters are taken from it, becomes
word Of two syllables? Plague. Ague.
Why is young lady just from boarding schoo
like building committee? Because she i:
ready TO receive proposals.
Figures won't lie, is an old and homely
! expression; but, few men can look on fashion
able woman's figure nowadays, and say as
much.
a rural poet, in describing his lady-love
says: "She is graceful as water-hly, while hel
breath is like an aImful of clover"
"Why did you retreat in the face Of the enc
my ? 'You see, sir, have got retreating nose
and Of course l have to follow it,"
Friend the Bible tells thee to swear not a
all" "Oh well 1 don't swear at all; l swear
only at those l am mad at"
! A young lady shouldn't be unhappy becaus,
! she isn't quite as tall as she would like to be
1t is very easy thing to splice"
TragPdian.-A fellow with tin pot On hi.
head, who stalks about the stage, and getssin {
violent passion for so much night.
Diverting dialoguc.-'M Mamma, can "a doc
speak p Certainly not, my love" Then why
did you tell Annie this morning 10 answer thu
door = ut Is time for you to 90 to school
dear"
Algentleman was threatening to beat dos
who barked intolerabIy. Why" exclaimed
by-stander, "would yam beat that poor dumb
animal for speaking out?"
''DIary, is your master at homer" No, sir
he's out" Il don't believe it, 'Well, then
he'll come down and tell you so himself. Pre-
haps you'll believe hin"
The Social Nuisance. Ladies' dresses now
expand to such circumference that an evening
party, even without Il supper, may be described
as spread. '-Puacd.
A returned old schoolmaster excused his pas
sion ior angling by saying that, fsom constant
habit he never feels quite himself unless he i.
handling the rod.
I think have seen you before, sir; are yor
/ not Owen Smith 2 oh yes, Pm OWN Smith
and OWN Jones, and OWN Brown, and OWN
every body
| MIR. A--upon entering certain bookshop
inquired OF young man in attendance, ifhe ha(
/ 'Goidsmiths Greece to sell. No, but we hav,
some mighty good hair OIL was the reply.
Weigh your words said man to fellow
who was clustering away in towering passion
at another. They won't weigh much if h
does, said the antagonist coolIy.
4 friend, in conversation with Rogers, said
I never put my razor in hot water as find i
Injuries the temper of the blade.-'No doubt o
it, said the poet; show me the blade tina
would not be out of temper, if plunged int
hot water,
Sir, your account has stood for two years
and must have it settled ieamed1ately.' 'SiI
things usually do settle by standing; I regre
that my account is an exception. Fit has bee
standing too long, suppose you let it run
while.
4 Fasler, what do you mea
by raising things in hot house?' why, M
dear boy, you are being raised in house to
hot to hold me sometimes The mother seize
a broomstick, but the man made tracks
oh, my friend said a doctor to an Irish ps
tieht' be composed; we must all die once
And its that yexes me- replied Pat; If
could die halfa dozen times, I'd not'care Ger
; about this time
In what company is your life insured, sir
asked SIZED, sPrigh,tly Young miss. In the Hope
: | prefer the Alliance, said she, blusbipp Tbe
> In make iointstock operation. if vo
choose said the delighted old bachelor.
When the beautiful Duchess Deyopsbire an
her sister Lady Dunoannon, convassed the Gle,
tors OF Westminster III behalf of Fox. in us
it was wittily said, Never did two such Low,
" portraits appear on conYass.