Litchfield enquirer., 1861-06-27

TIE HUSBAND WHO WAS TO MINB THE HOUSE. |-Once on time there was man so surly and cross, he never thought his wife did anything right in the house. So one evening. in hay. making time, he came home, scoldng and swear. ing, and showing his teeth and making dust.
 Dear love. don't be so angry; there's good man, said his goody; tomorrow let's change our work. I'll go out with the mowers and now and you shall mind the house at home'
 Yes the husband thought that would be very we'll. He was quite willing.
 So next morning his good wife took scythe over her neck and went out into the hay-field with the mowers, and began to now? but the man was to mind the house, and to do the work at home. First of all, he wanted to churn the butter but when he had churned while, he got thirsty, and went down to the cellar to tap barrel of ale. So, just when he had knocked in the bung and was putting tle tap into the cask he heard the pig come into the kitchen. Then off he ran up the cellar steps with the tap in his hand, as fast as he could to look after the pig lest it should upset the churn but when he got up, aud saw the pig had already knocked the churn over, and stood there, roofing and grunting amongst the cream, which was running over the foor he was so wild with rage that he quite forgot the ale barrel, and just as it ran out of doors, and gave it such kick that piggy lay for dead on the spot. Then at once he remembered he had the tap in his hand, but when he got down to the cellar, every drop of ale had ran out of the cask Then he went to the diary and found enough cream left to fill the churn again, and so he be- gan to churn. for the butter they must have at dinner. When he had churned bit, he remem- bered that their mlking-cow was still shut up in the byre, and hadn't bit to eat, or drop to drink all the morning, though the sun was high. Then all at once he thought twas too far to take her down te the meadow, so he'd just get her on the housetop-for the house, you must know | was thatched with sods, and fine crop of grass | was growing there. Now their house lay close | up against steep-down, and he thought if he had laid plank across to the tbatch at the back he'd easily get COW up.
 But still he couldn't leave the churn, for there was his little babe crawling about on the floor, and if leave it. he thought, the child is sure to upset it. So he took the churn on his back and went out with it. but then he thought he d better first water the COW before he turned her out on the thatch so he took up bucket to draw water out of the we'll but as he stopped down at the wells brink, all the cream ran out of the churn over his shoulders, and so down into | the well.
 l Now it was near dinner-time and he hadn' t even got the butter yet i; so he thought he'd best DOH the portage, ana niled the pot With water and hung it over the fire. When he had done that, he thought the COW might, perhaps, fall off l the thatch and break her legs or neck. So he got up on the house to tie her up. One end of the rope he made fast tos the cows neck, and the other he slipped down the chimney and tied i around his own thigh, and he had to make haste, for the water now began to boil in the pot, and he had still to grind the oatmeal. . So he began to grind away, but while he was hard at it, down fell the COW of the house-top after all and as she fell, she dragged the man up the chimney by the rops. There he stuck fast i; and as for the COW, she hung halfway down the wall, swinging between heaven and earth, for she could neither get down or up. And now the goody had waited seven lengths and seven breadths for her husband to come and call her home to dinner, but never call they had. At last, she thought she'd waited long enough, and went home. But when she got there she saw the COW hanging in such an ugly place, she ran up and cut the rope in two with her scythe. But as she did this, down came her husband out of the chimney; and so when his old dame came inside the kitchen, there she foand him standing on his head in the porridge pot.