The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1861-07-30
Correspondence Of the Cleveland Paindeale er
One Of the Cleveland Home Guards.


The moment the flag was threatened large
bodies Of men were called upon TO rally in its
defence Being large bodied man, rallied
and enrolled myself with the Home Guards.
/ The drill is very servere on me this hot wealth
cr, although | am constantly allowed an
attendant with fan and n pitcher Of ice
water. | am living paradox, for while get
ting Uar3ee | am growing weak. Talk about
the times that tried mons souls those are
the times that try mems fat if they have any.
The captain takes pleasure in putting me
through at a double quick stop. When I
q off think It Will be with double" con-
sump'ior.
am constantly reminded that one Of the
first requirements Oft soldiers is 10 throw
out his chest and draw in his stomach.--
iavirg been burned out servera times while
occupying rooms in the attic / have had
some considerable practice in throwing out
my chest, but by what s,stem of practice
could | ever hope to draw in my stomach p
| cant ''dress up''-it's is no use trying. If
my vest buttons are in line | am far in the
rear. and if | toe the mark n fearful bulge
indicates my position. (Therc is no room
for argument in regard to my sentiments
everybody can see at n glance Just were |
stan1.) One evening we had a new drill Ser
geant who WAS near sighted. Running his
eve down the line exclaimed, sharply, "Whst
is that man doing in the ranks with base
drum He pointed at me, but had mt
any drum, it was the supus stomach that I
couldn't draw in.
! am the butt Of numberess Jokes, as YOU
may well suppose. They have got a story in
the Guards that when first heard the com.
mand-"Orler Arms'-I dropped my mus.
kcd. and taking out my note book begun 10
draw an order on the Governor for whatarms
| wanted. They say that ordered the
Winan's steam gun, with pair of Dahlgren
howtzars for side arms. Base fabrcators. -
My ambition never extended beyond rife
cannon, and they knew it.
Although in respect to size ] belong to the
''heaviest' my preference is for the Light
Infantry service. Nv knapsack is marked
Light Infantry. One evening spectators ap.
pcarcd conyulsed about somciing and my
comrades Uttered by plstoons whenever my
back was turned. 1t was all mystery to
me until | laid off my knapsack. Some
wretch had erasei the two final letters and |
had been parsling all the evening labeled
"LIGHT INFANT" The above is one OF a
thousand anuoyanccs to which | am subjected,
and nothing but my Customing perriotsm
could ever induce me to submit TO it. raj.
lied at the call Of my country and am not to
be put out by the raging o'my Gonzales. .
overheard spectator enquire of the dill
Screant one day "do you drill the whole Of
him at ence y
"No," he returned, and an awful whisper,
81 drill h,m By s7uadsi'
would have drilled him il had bayo
ret.
Specifications have been published in re.
gard to my uniform and contractors ADVERT.
,ed for. The making will be let out to the 10.
west responsible bidder. In case the Guards
are order to take the field special Commiss-
AIRY will be detailed to supply my rations. s.
That reminds me Of narrowing incident. -
On last drill night an old farmer, who drop
ped in to see us drill, took me aside and 81 d
ho wanted to sell me yoke of powerful OK
ell.
"My ancient agrcultutist" said I smiling
at his simplicity, /" ] have no use for oxen !"
"Perhaps not at present" quoth he, "but
if you 90 to war YOU will wart them
For what" said |, considerably annoyed
| "Wdn't EN- to drdV yoW rotiops"
The Guards paid me delicate compli
ment at the last meeting. Thoy elected me
''Child of the Regiment" with the rank Of
First Compliant, and the pay of chief "Bow.
YER" was about to return thanks in neat
aud appropriate speech when reporter who
was present assured me il was no use-he had
got the whole thing in type, speech and all,
and | could read 1t in the evening paper. -
He said they kept "neat and appropriate
speech" standing in type continually. got
his view and held my peace.
Yours for the Union, including
the S'ars, also the Stripes
FAT CONTRIBUTOR