The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1861-10-17
Artemus Ward Sees Prince Napoleon.

On the contrary, Il still live, which wor
was spoken by Dau.il Webster, who wa
a able man. Esen the old line wings o
Boston will admit that Webster Is de
now, howseser, and bis mantle has probl
fallen into the bands Of sun dealers il
end band close, who can't sell it Least
ways nobody pears to be aoin' roun,
wearin it to any psrticler extent nov
days. The regiment of whom | was kur
nal fnerly concluded they was better a
daptcd as Home Guards. which account,
for your not hearin' Of me. ear this. wher,
the bauls l. thiekest and where the can
non doth roar. But as a American citi
zen | sball never cease to admire tn.
masterly advance our troops made or
Washington from Boil Run, short time
ago. 1t was veil dun. spoke to NY
wife bout it at the time. My wife sed il
was well dun.
1t havln tbere4 bin determined to per
! fest BaldWiC,ville at all hazzurds, and as
there was no apprebensions of any imme-
jit danger. thought l would go OFF onto
lessure tower. Accor dinsly | put on
a clean Billed Shirt aud started for Wash
ington. | went there to see the Prints
Napoleon. and not to see the place, which
| will here take occasion to observe is a.
bout as uninterestiD locality az there is
til, side of j. Davis's futer home, if be
ever does die. aud where | reckon the VII
III axe it 80 warm for hin that be will 81
for bis summer close. 1t is easy eoough
to see Why a man goes to the poor house
or the peuiteptlary. It's becaws he can't
help it. But why be should voluntarily
60 and live in Washington, is entirely be-
yond my comprehension. aud | can't say
90 fsirer than that
put up to leaGin hotel I saw the
landlord and sed. "How dye do. Squire. F"
Fifty cents, SIR" was bis reply.
SIR 7"
Half a dollar. We charge twenty
f8e cents for lOoI;tn at the landlord. aud
City rents for speakn TO him II you
want supper. boy will show you to tie
diuiu room for twenty five cents. Your
room bein in the tenth story, it will cost
you a dollar to be shown up there"
IIoS much do you ak man for
breathin in this equinomikal tavernl 7"
sed l.
Ten ceBts bretb." was bis reply.
Washington hotels ia very reasonable
in their charges. N. B.-This is sar-
kassnm
| sent up my keerd to the prints, and
was in mcjitly ushered before hin. He
received nc kindly aud axed me TO cit
down.
- have cum to pay my respecs to you
Mister Napoleon, bopin to see you bale
and hearty.
Il am quite we'll" be sed. "Air you
we'll. sir T.
Sound as cuss," | answered.
He seemed 10 be pleased with my ways.
and We entered into CONVERSATION to onct
"Hox's Lewis p | axed. and be sed
the emperor was we'll Eugeny vas like
wise well, be sed, Then | axed him was
Lewis good providerl did be cum bone
airly mites did be perfoom her bed room
at onseasouable hour with gin and tan
zy! Did be go to "tbe lodge" on mites
when there wasn't any lodge did he Of
ten have to go down town to meet a friendl
did be hag a extensive acquaintance a.
moDg young widders whose husbans was
in Californyl to all of which questions
the Prints perltely replide. given me to
uDdcrstcnd that the emperor was bebsviD
we'll.
Il az these questions. ny royal duke
and most noble bighness aud imperial.
becaws I'm anxious to know how he
siauds as man. know he. smart
He is eunnip, be is long bcded, he is deep
he is crate. But oness be is good he'll
come down with crash one Of these days.
and the Bonypsrts will be Bustid up agin
Bet yer lifel'
Air you preacher, sir I" be inquired,
slitely sarkasticul.
no. SIR. But | bleeve 10 % morality
| likewise bleeye 10 Meetn Hou-es.-
Show ne place where there isn't sny
Meetin Houses aud where preachers are
never seen. and I'll show you place
WOeTe Ol0 Udte ore iu9o oiohcu
wiuders, where the children air dirty and
ragged. where gates bav no hinges where
the winin are slip-bop. and where maps Of
the devils wild land air painted upon
mems shirt tuzzums witb tobacco jooce
That's whst I'll show you. Let US con-
slider what the preachers do for US before
We aboose en-
He sed he didn't mean to aboose the
clergy. Not at all. and be was happy to
see that was interested 10 the Bonypart
family.
"It's crate family" sed I. "But they
scooped the old man in"
How. sir 7"
Napoleon the Grand. The British
ers scooped biu at Waterloo He want.
ed TO do too much. and be did it They
scooped hi~ 10 at Waterloo, and subse-
kently died at St. HeleDy! There =
where the greatest military nan this world
ever produced pegged out. 1t was rather
hard to consine such q man as bin to st.