The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1861-11-16

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Social RevoIutions-The shoddy Ariss0c-
racy Begins Housekeeping.
A short time ago we chronicled the deca-
dence Of the old Goldfish and Cotton cliques, and
the advent of the new, government contract,
Shoddy aristocracy. The spontaneous combus-
ton of Goldfish and cotton may be classed
among the social benefits of this war, but the
sudden effervescence of the Shoddy aris-
tocracy is rather an intermediate stage
than result Of the great reform progress
ing in American social life A storm purifes
lake, but the waters become muddier than ever
just before they are permanently clear. An
ugly worm becomes an uglier chrysalis before
it is transformed into beautiful insect. The
dark night is darkest just before the day.
Metaphorically speaking, the Shoddy is the mud
dier-the chrysalis-the darkest-stage Of the
regeneration of American aristocracy. By-and-
by we shall have something better, and GER
tainly we have never had anything worse.
Such as it is, however, the Shoddy aristocracy
is getting on in the world and has commenced
housekeeping.
The Shsddy arstocracy has already spent
considerable part Of that fortune which it rap
idly acquired, not perhaps dishonesty, but by
giving very little equivalent for great deal
Of money, and by mixing great deal of shoddy
with the equivalent aforesaid. Tho Shoddy
arstocracy has been living at hotels, and enjoy
ing, as all newly rich people delight to do, the
unusual luxury Of doing nothing and spending
money. Our hotel life ought to suit the shoddy
folks: for it is conducted upon the shoddy prin-
ciple Of paying a great deal for very little.
and having that little bad: but somehow it does
not exactly We suppose that it lacks that
great aristocratic essential-exclusivene AT
any rate, while the Shoddy aristocracy has been
driving its new horses about Central Park, and
using its new lorgnettes and airing its new
fnery at Walack 's--since the Opera committed
suicide for Ullman's benefit has kept an eye
open for desirable mansions in the aristocratic
part Of the town, and, fortunately, such man.
sions are plenty nowadays.
On and about Fifth avenue those fine
birds, the Goldfish and Cotton aristocrats. left
many snug, snowy nests when they started, like
unhappy pilgrims, towards the east, to do pen
ances in tenement houses, and take new
and lively interest in the affairs of their
numerous neighbors and the invention Of
fire escapes. They left mansions with a
great deal Of brown stone front and a
very little of good brick rear. Mansions
with stone stoops as large as ordinary houses
Mansions with immense bay windows, obtrud-
ing impudently into the street and letting in
too much heat in summer, too much cold in
winter, and too much publicity always. Man.
sions with very large gateways, and SO little
court room that the stables are inconveniently
and odorously adjacent to the kitchen. In fine,
aristocratic affairs, admirably adapted to make
their inmates uncomfortable and astonish the
natives. As this is what the Shoddy aristocracy
desires, it has rented these mansions and begun
housekeeping.
Of course the aristocracy is refurnishing its
new houses. Shoddy carpets, with brilliant
colors and little wool, are being put down.
Shoddy mirrors, all gilt frames> and fawed
glasses, are being hung up, to reflect and be
broken by Shoddy's good looks. New suits of
shoddy furniture, handsome to look at, but
treacherously weak, are preparing for shoddy
to lounge, sit and lie upon. The bay windows
are hung with shoddy curtains and crammed
with shoddy knick-lSnacks, SO that the aristocra-
cy may sit there, as in a store window, on exhi-
btion, and all the world may see how elegant
ly Shoddy lives. Shoddy pianos, all case and
no music, are brought in. Shoddy portraits,
with more paint than likeness adorn the walls
Mr.. Shoddy's picture, with red curtain and a
general appearance of devils dust in Mr.. Shod-
dy's eye; Mrs. Shoddy, with landscape, trying
to look as if she felt easy in her new
dress, and as if her small hands (painted in by
order) really belonged to her; the Masters
and Misses Shoddy, grouped in impossible posi-
tons, playing with dead, pink eyed rabbits, and
seemingly unconscious OF the slaps they have
just received to quiet them while the artist
paints. Down stairs shoddy cooks, more French
than skilful, arc getting up shoddy dishes, bet
ter to look at than to eat and shoddy wines,
with al their excellence on the labels, are be-
ing binncd. Still farther down, shoddy Goals,
doctored with stones and slate, arc being laid in
TO warm up the shoddy establishment In the
courtyard, shoddy coachman, Disgusting his
Hibernian origin in an English livery, is rub
bing down the shoddy horses, which prance
more than they SO. Everything about the
place is shoddy. and ii is all got up regardless
Of expense.
Next, the Shoddy aristocrats are going to
give parties, if anybody will come ; and soirees
ddnsaates, when Monsieur Pigeonwing has .in-
ished the masters and misses and coarersa-
stones, if the acquaintance Of any lions can be
made. Meanwhile the Shoddes have deter
mined to invite everybody. and Brady is doing
their caftcs de risiie, which are to be dis
tributed, like circulars, TO all who will
receive them. Monsieur Pigeonwing is
making the whole family dizzy with
his round dancers bewildering them with
his Figures" a Ia the Lightning Calculator;
giving them corns by rapping their obstinate
toes with his rattan, and preparing them to
come out generally. Signor Doramefa is Civ
ing Miss Shoddy's shrek an operate air. Mrs
Shoddy is studying the art of polite converse
Ioa