The Placer herald., 1861-10-05
D0esticks in Washington.

ing is the fat old spider in the middle, and
all the other houses are huge flies that have
got into the web, aud can't get out. The
whole country is dotted with little white
tents, as thick as if there had been snow
storm that hadn't melted away yet; or as if
some one Of the huge old heather gods, be-
fore tossing off an ocean of beer at one tre'
mendous gulp, had blowa the Iroth all over
the surrounding country.
Nobody, in ordinary times, hves at Wash
ington folks only stay here and talk; when
Congress goes away everybody goes with it;
just as If everybody thought he was Con-
gress. When Congress is gone, there isn't
any city here; nothing but batch Of ground
covered with empty champagne and beer
bottles; and with pieces of paper which are
bills that didn', pay; and with red tape-as
if the whole place had been seeded down
with these interesting articles, in the hope
that they would grow up into splendid
crop
Washington, just now, however, is full of
military men soldiers, aud such gaudv
animals. AS to officers, | suppose there
must be at least thirty officers to every sol.
dier In fact, think there are million
of officers at Wilards every day; and un
derstand that there are as many as hundred
soldiers in the different camps about; but
the soldiers dent g. to Wizards much; |
suppose they don't know Willard.
You cant migrate a rod without running
over a few colonies, OF knocking down a
major or SO. This morning | stepped on
the toe of lieutenanl; and as turned to
apologize, ranmed one of my elbows into
the stomach Of general, and the other into
the eye of a captain, who tumbled over a
little knot of lieutenant colonels, who fell
in blue and gold heap, dragging down with
them some enslgns and a major general of
division. Saw had done mischief, when
tangled my feet in the swords of a couple
Of other generals, which pitched me head
first into the RIBS Of another general, who
also fell down, tripping up in his fall two or
three other generals. expected to have a
guard of generals sent after me, with park
of artillery or two, to put me in the guard
house; quite he contrary; they thought,
from the way knocked people about, that
was rlainiy commander in chief; some
of the generals picked me up, and they all
touched their hats.
This touching of the hat is great inst-
tution-but every body does it-I do it.
When | first came here saw everybody
giving the military salute to everybody else.
SO began to do he military; touched my
hat to everybody; my arm was going up and
down like pump handle; pumped away
for week, and my arm get so lame that
began to fear ampuation Then | conceive
ed the idea Of doing the military salute with
my foot; thought it would be very effective.
especially if man wore patent leather
boot and gilt spur; practised it two days in
my room, and then did it to general; he
thought meant to insult him, and he men
toned guard house, | went away; don't
like to say rdn--but | went away, and the
time was good.
Then studied into the philosophy of the
military pnmp handle business; concluded |
wouldn't pump handle to anybody under a
general. had hitherto been especially
careful to pump handle to the gentlemen
with stripes on their arms. thought they
were major generals. Now know the
whole mystery of it, and I'll tell.
There are three sizes Of generals: Briga
dier generals, with one star on the shoulder;
ma or generals with two stars on the shoulder,
and generals of division, with three dittos on
ditto | now pump.hande to single bar
relied generals and to double'barreled gene
rails, and to the high pressure generals with
the three stars; but no fellow that hasn't at
least one star on his shoulder strap ever gets
any more pump handle out of me.
had heard SO much talk about the rebels
attacking Washington, that got nervous
about it, an! for a few days flew to arms
(pu. on my boots, and got ready to travel, }
about twenty zone times a day. For instance,
one morning heard a tremendous cannonad.
ing-hew to arms in big scare-cannonad-
ing proved to be a runaway army wagon
numbering along the sidewalk went out
and SAW Willard, and got my scare off
Heard a Tremendous clatler Of muskelry--
flew to arms--scare as before-lbis musEetry
proved to be chanbermaid smashing crock
cry accidentally. Saw Willard and whipped
scare as before Heard tremendous charge
of cavary--flew to arms--scare, us formerly.
Cavalry charge was a small negro on small
mule Saw Willard, ,'etc. And 50, for seve-
raj days, was continually flying to arms.
Willard is very popuIar--Wllard is
man---in fact, three or four men. Willard
keeps his three or four shelves behind a
counter and Willard keeps a long row of
bottles behind him-WliIard has a great
deal of business with the bottles, and the
officers have a great deal Of business with
Willard. In fact, the more officer a man is,
the more he doesn't do anything but
have business with Willard People
have an idea that it is an officers business
TO fight-not a bit OF it-o6cers don't fight
men fight-ofiicers look pretty, and have
business with Willard
DO you know Scare9 suppose not
Well, great many fellows do. When
Scare gets hold of fellow, that fellow i'm
Ii. MLirl-.I .,.l.i., lin, -WLiS- |