davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Warren telegraph. [volume] (Warren, R.I.) 1857-1861, 1861-07-27
9cleetc0 4flisrcllanp.
THE AGE OF WISDOM.
BIZ WILLIAM MAKRPEAcE rnAcKERAY.


Hol pretty page, with dimpled chin,
That never has known tile barber's shear,
All your wish is woman to win,
This is the way boys begin
Wait till you come to forty years.
Curly gold locks cover foolish brains;
Billing and cooling Is all your cheer
Signing and singing of midnight strains,
Under Bonnybelle's window pancs--
Wait till you come to forty years.
Forty times over let Michaelmas pass,
Grizzling hair the brain doth clear;
Then you know the boy is an ass,
Then you know the worth Of lass
Once you have come to foity years.
Pledge me round bid you declare,
All good fell, VS. VIII o e bearls IRE grey
Did not the fLirest ,ftie fair
Common grow and wcarisome ere
Ever month was lassed awayf
The reddest lips that ever have killed,
The brightest eyes that ever have shone,
May pray and whisper and We not list,
Or look away and never be missed
Ere yet ever month is gone.
Gillian's dead! God rest her BIER
How loved her twenty years syne!
Marrians married but | sit here,
Alone and merry at for.y years,
Dipping my nose in the Gascon wine.
Warren telegraph. [volume] (Warren, R.I.) 1857-1861, 1861-07-27

HARD TO TAKE THE HINr-A young bachelor,
who had ben appointed deputy sheriff, was
callc. upon to serve an attachment against a
beautiful young widow. He accordingly called
upon her and said, "Madam, have an attach
ment for you" The widow blushcd, and said
she was happy to inform him his attachment
was reciprocatcd. You do not understand
me; you must proceed to court" Il know il
is leap year, sir, but prefer you would do the
courting." Mrs. P, this is no time for
tr;aing; the ju, tice is waiting" 1.-THE justice
why, | should prefer parson."
Warren telegraph. [volume] (Warren, R.I.) 1857-1861, 1861-07-27

How TO MAKE COOP BREAD.-A Wisconsin
lady writes thus to the Scientific American on
this important subject
Ny plan for making bread is this Take
about eight or ten middling sized potatoes, (good
meay oncs,) pare and cut them very fine then
set them on to cook, with about three times as
much water as will cover them. When done,
mash them fine in the same water, then add
-four enough to make thick batter. Remem-
bcr the -four must be put in while the water is
boiling hot, let it then cool off until about luke.
warm, and then add little piece of sour dough,
say tcaspoonfullto start with. Ofcourse, after
the hous keeper Aas once made this yeast, she
can always keep salistle of tho old ~ add to tho
new. Ifkept in 4 warm place, it Will be fit for
use in about six hours. Ifit stands long enough
to get sour, a little soda may be used. Add
p'enty Of this to your -four, and you will have
the lightcst and best tasted bread that you can
wish for.
BRowN BREAD.-Threc cups full of corn
meal three Of rye, or Graham meal six of
milk, or water one .teaspoonful of soda half
cup full of moasses Bake in an iron basin.
three hours.-Rural New Yorker.
Warren telegraph. [volume] (Warren, R.I.) 1857-1861, 1861-07-27

brave officer, who had been wounded with
a musket ball in or near the knee, was stretched
upon the dssecting table Of surgeon, who,
with an assistant began to cut and probe in
that region of his anatomy After while the
subject" said:
Don't cut mo up in that style, doctor What
are ou toEtpring me in that cruel way for2
I'VE arelooking after the ball, replied the
senior operator.
why didn't you so, then, before :" asked
the indignant patient. "Pve got the ball in
my pocketl" said he, putt ng his hand in his
waistcoat, and taking it out. ~ took it out
myself" he added. Didn't mention it 10
you? meant to!"
Warren telegraph. [volume] (Warren, R.I.) 1857-1861, 1861-07-27

A sensible woman, the mother Of young
family, ught her children from the earliest
childhood to consider ill-humor as disorder
which was to he cured by physc. Accordingly,
she had always small doses ready, and the lit
tie patients, whenever it was thought needIul,
took rhubarb for the crossncss. No punish
ment was required Peevishncss, or il-tcmper
and rhubarb, were associated in their minds al
ways as cause and effect.
Warren telegraph. [volume] (Warren, R.I.) 1857-1861, 1861-07-27

The general theory of chemists hitherto has
been that tea lessons the waste Of the body and
so sustains the bodily powers with less nourish-
ment than is otherwise required. DR.. 4. Smith,
at recent meeting OF the society of Arts, gave
the result Of some experiments he had made to
ascertain tho truth Of this theory. lie found
that il there was abundance of food in the svs-
tenn, and that especially of the farinaceous or
fat kinds, tea is powerful digestive agent, and
by promoting the transformation of food, it aids
in nourishing the body but with a deficiency
Of food II wastes the tissues of the body and
lowers the vital powers.
Warren telegraph. [volume] (Warren, R.I.) 1857-1861, 1861-07-27

WATERING TREEs-aore trees arc destroyed,
yearly, than saved by injudicious watering.
Many persors pour pafuls of cold water around
the roots of newly-panted trees, during the
early part of the season their object being to
assist the trees by supplying the moisture, to
force out its buds and leaves to vigorous
growth. The result is more often to create
disease and rapid decay in the root, to drown
the fibres, and by keeping the ground wet and
cold, produce death. Better hoe around the
tree every other night just at sundown, and let
the watering alone. The former practice will
destroy the tree, the latter will save it,
Warren telegraph. [volume] (Warren, R.I.) 1857-1861, 1861-07-27

ENGLISH SruDlEs.-" Father" said a lady Of
the new school to her indulgcnt spouse, as he
resumed his pipe after supper one ev ming,
"you must buy your dear Gcorgianna an Eng
lsh grammar and spelling book. She has gone
through her French, Latin and Greek, music
drawing and dancing, and now she must com
mcnce her English studies"
Warren telegraph. [volume] (Warren, R.I.) 1857-1861, 1861-07-27

A widow lady sitting by a cheerful fire in a
meditatiye mood, shortly after her husband.
deceas sighed; Poor iellow-how he did
like good fire | Lope he has gone where
they keep good frs"
Warren telegraph. [volume] (Warren, R.I.) 1857-1861, 1861-07-27

My MoTnER.-I am now so far advanced in
i c that my friends begin to call me old But l
have notlivcd long enough to learn why should
not still respect my mother, and regard her
affectionately. She is quite advanced in years.
and has nearly lost her sight. She sits within
n few feet of me, sewing up a rent in my linen
coat while write this. She knows not what |
am wiring. She has been widow eight years,
md is still toing for the welfare of her children.
She never studied grammar, nor philosophy,
ner music. These things were seldom staught
in her young days. but she knows their value,
nd has titled many hard day to purchase
.hs>s.,f Cor der chillren.- and subnprt them sat
school. Aid shall now curl the lip in scorn.
or blush in company, to hear her substitute a
verb of unity for one of plurality, or pronounce
word twenty years behind the Wcbsterian
era? Never-no never! The old dilapldated
grammar in my library might testify against
her style; but its testimony would be infinitely
more terrible against my ingratitudc l reco-
lect well when she rode seven miles, one cold
winters day, to sell produce and purchase that
hook for me- when | was little boy. requir-
cd u sacrifice, but smother made it."-Home
Journal.
Warren telegraph. [volume] (Warren, R.I.) 1857-1861, 1861-07-27

We were amused at hearing the story Of an
old la whose only exclamation on hearing of
the execution of q man who had once liveJ in
the neighborhood, was, "Well, know'd he'd
come TO tho gallows at last, for the kn in his
handkerchief was always slipping round under
has lefl car"
Warren telegraph. [volume] (Warren, R.I.) 1857-1861, 1861-07-27

A BETTER 0YE.--Amolia was ono day dressed
ina new waite lrock with red ribbons, and
SOM Que said to her, "No doubt you think
yourself dressed vey fine and clever" "Ah
no" answered the child, =" | win never think
that until have the fnc white rohe of my Re
dccmcr's righteousness put upon mc."
Warren telegraph. [volume] (Warren, R.I.) 1857-1861, 1861-07-27

A farmer living on the line of the Troy and
Boston railroad, stopped passenger train, on
Thursday last by waving his hat. "Wlaas
the matterg" screamed the engineer. "Mat-
teri" said the farmer "nothin, as know Of"
Then what did you swing your hat for ?" said
tho engineer. 40, LordI'' SAID the farmer,
"why, I soas tanning myse!f" The engineer
is supposed to have "cussed' little.
Warren telegraph. [volume] (Warren, R.I.) 1857-1861, 1861-07-27

There is turtle on the farm of Elijah Mel.
son, in Upton, Mass, which has been in that
vicinity for half a century. Mr.. Nelson found
him in 1881, and marked his name and date on
the shell. Since then no has been seen reT eat
edly, and is apparently of the same sise as when
first discovered
Warren telegraph. [volume] (Warren, R.I.) 1857-1861, 1861-07-27

An American writing from Switzerland, says
1t seems to me that Sunday is here considered
sacred in proportion to the amount of amuse-
ment THAT can be crowded into it. The "Amer-
lean manner" Of keeping the Sabbath is q mat
tes Of wonder to the Swiss. have often heard
them commiserate the American Minister, The
odore s. Fay, whose reputation is broad-spread
over the land as a consistent observer Of the
Sabbath, on his mournful Sundays" as they
arc pleased to term It, "devoid of pleasure "
Their sympathy, however; does not interfere
with the profound respect with which they re-
gard him and his newly appeintsd successor,
must be very superior and winning person 10
order to fill his plpcc in the heart Of fSwitzer-
land
Warren telegraph. [volume] (Warren, R.I.) 1857-1861, 1861-07-27

A good old Methodist preacher long ago re-
moved from this scene of temptation, in relating
his experience" said, woman's eye was once
80 powerful as To draw him thirteen miles over
q rough DAD in winter, SIMPLY for her to tell
him tnat she wouldn't marry him.
Warren telegraph. [volume] (Warren, R.I.) 1857-1861, 1861-07-27

The following is a simple method Of protect
ing canary birds from the attacks of ins cts
that invest them and the cages. BY placing
every night over tho cage white cloth, c in.
sccts a,her upon il, ard in the morning may
be seen by carefully examining the cloth. They
the cage.
Warren telegraph. [volume] (Warren, R.I.) 1857-1861, 1861-07-27

A DISAPPOINTED WoMAN.-A few months
since ger tleman had the misfo. tune TO lose his
wife, literary lady OF some reputation. After
giieving for number of weeks, bright idea
entered the head OF the widower. He thought
that he could do something to les en- his sor.
row, and for that purpose he called upon lady
Of his acquaintance, and requested to speak q
word with her in private. Thinking that she
was about to receive proposal, the lady pre- :
pared to listen with becoming resignation.
"Myrrha," sail he with downcast eyes, as he
took her hand, "you knew my wife!"
Certainly"
at is not good for man to be alone p
Perhaps not"
odd you ever reflect upon that part Of the
marriage service which required couples to
cleave unto each other till death do them part ~
81 have"
~ have often reflected uponi it myself Now
death has parted me from my wife, and feel
very lonely"
II should think it likely"
:" think l must do something to restore to
me her kind consultations, and the memory of
her virtues"
He pressed the lady's hand and sighed. She
returned the pressure and also suffered sigh
to escape her.
"My DEAR" he said, after long pause, "Ill
come to point at once. have proposal TO
make"
"A proposal9"
She bushed and covered her face with her
hands.
"Yes; | have concluded 10 write my wife's
biography. Now have had but little skill in
literary exercises, and if you will correct my
manuscript and write the headings Of the chap
tiers, will give you five dollars"
She sprang from his side and her eyes flashed
with anger.
"Pll see you hanged first and then won't;
you-you-"
She left the room not being able to express
her feelings The widower sighed, took his hat,
and went home. He has not yet published, nor
proposed. 1t was rity to be so misunder-
stood.
Warren telegraph. [volume] (Warren, R.I.) 1857-1861, 1861-07-27

An Irishman just from the sod was eating
some Old cheese, when he found to his dismay
iat il obtained living inhabitants BE jabcrs,
said he, do your chase IN this coupthry
hayo ohIkilou \"
Warren telegraph. [volume] (Warren, R.I.) 1857-1861, 1861-07-27

HAD HIN THErE-A clejgyman in Scotland
desired his hearers never to call one another
liars, but when any one said thing that was
not true, they ought to whistle One Sunday
he preached a sermon on the parable OF the
loavcs and fishes and, being at loss how TO
explain it. he said the loaves were not like those
now a-dsys, they were as big as the hills in
Scotland He had scarcely pronounced the
words when he heard loud whistle "Whats
that?" said he; "who calls me liar?" "It
is |, Wiley Mcdonald, the baker" "wcel.
Willy, what objection ha' ye to what told ye ~
None, Master John; only wanted to know
what sort of ovens they had to bake those loaves
in?"
Warren telegraph. [volume] (Warren, R.I.) 1857-1861, 1861-07-27

Military men have discovered q new remedy
for intoxication, which, we believe, "is not down
in the DO ks" It is nothing more than raw po-
tatoes, which are cut in slices, and eaten with
out salt An ordinary murphy" Il is said,
will cure the most obstinate case in halfan hour.
Warren telegraph. [volume] (Warren, R.I.) 1857-1861, 1861-07-27

The LITTLE CnILD's PRAYER.-A father who
did not lievc in God or his holy word. came
home one evening and asked where his little
girl was. "Shc has gone to bed," said his wife.
"I'll just 60 and give her one KISS" said the
father, for lie loved his little daughter dearly.
AS he stood at the door of her bedroom, he
heard some one praying. 1t was his little Jane,
and he heard her say, "Do. God Almighty.
please lead daddy TO hcar Mr.. Stowell preach.
She had often asked him to go, and he had
always said, No, no, child" After listening
to her prayer, he determined, the next time she
asked him, to accompany her, which he did,
and heard n sermon which took bis attention
and prickcd his conscience. On leaving the
church, he clasped the hand CT his little girl in
his, and said, Jane thy God shall be my God,
and thy minister shall be my minister" And
the nan became u true follower of the Lord.
Warren telegraph. [volume] (Warren, R.I.) 1857-1861, 1861-07-27

Col. Davis hss immortalized himself-by .
bon mot His regiment passing through Balti.
more without q band, some secessionist taunt-
ingly asked, "Where is your music p I'm
our cartridge 6ores," naively replied the gallant
commander
Warren telegraph. [volume] (Warren, R.I.) 1857-1861, 1861-07-27

Rev. Mr. Chidlaw. well and f,vorably known
in connection with Sabbath School work at the
west is Chaplain for General Andcrson's Ken
lucky brigade
Warren telegraph. [volume] (Warren, R.I.) 1857-1861, 1861-07-27

Jones is willing to accord TO Virginia the
honor she claims OF b ing the Mother Of States
and Of States men," but he insists that shc is
"psss 6v0vs~g, and has becu " Svs many yoags
Warren telegraph. [volume] (Warren, R.I.) 1857-1861, 1861-07-27

When man takes more pleasure in ca, ming
money than in spending it. he has taken the
first step towards wealth. .
Warren telegraph. [volume] (Warren, R.I.) 1857-1861, 1861-07-27

A Mormon advertisement reads: ITO be let
i ooms for two gentlemen and four wives, or
rooms for one gentleman and SIX wives"
Warren telegraph. [volume] (Warren, R.I.) 1857-1861, 1861-07-27
DENTAL CARD.

HAWES BRO. g. SEABURY,
No. 78 Westminster Street, Providence, Ii. 4.
Branch Office,
No. 10 East Seventeenth street, bctpeen Union
Square and Fysh Aoenue, Neso York.
Where A. C. Hawcs will be pleased to see his friends
Warren telegraph. [volume] (Warren, R.I.) 1857-1861, 1861-07-27
REASONS FOR NOT DESERVING.

The following dialogue took place between
Lieut.. A. G. c., late of the United States
Texas army, who deserted with the traitor Gen.
Jwiggs, and Pat Fletcher. one Of the Second
Cavalry, now at Carlisle, then near Fort Bliss
C9icer-Well, Pat, amt you going to follow
he General I? Twiggs.) .
Fletcher-Ii Gineral Scott orders us to follow
him, sir, begor Toby pats horse) can gallop as
well as the best Of 'em.
? O6icer-I mean won't you leave the abolition
army, and join the free South?
Fletcher-Begor never enlisted in the
sblition army, and never will. Iagreed to sarve
Unclc Sam for five years and the divil pin
vaark has been made in tho contract, with my
eorsint, ever since. When my time is up, il
the army isn't the same as it is now, won't
tJin 1t again.
06icer--Pat, the Second" Cavalry was
gig teen months old when you and joined
The pan W raised our Regiment is now the
Southern Pre- sident; the man who lately CON-
handed it is a Southern General. Can You re-
a,ain in it when they arc gomez
Fletcher-Well, you see, the fact Of the mat
ter is Lieutenant c., amt much of a scholar
can't argue the question with you, but what
you'd my mother say if l deserted my color
On Q dvil dive in Ill ever give in now that's
'ho ind oft. / triel to run away once few
weeks after enlstn'-but a man wouldn't be
missed thin. It's quite differ mt now, Lieuten.
ant, and I'm not going to disgrace naither one
O. my countries.
C6icer-Do you know you will have to fire
on green Irish colors in the Southern army?
Fdetcher-And won't you have to fire on
them colors, (pointing to the flag at Fort Biiss)
that yerself and five af us licked nineteen rang
ers under2 Sure it isn't greater shame for
an Irishman to fire on Irish colors, than for an
American to fire on American colors An the
oath'll be on my side you know Lieutenant.
O0tcer--D-n the man that relies on Paddles,
say.
Fe'cher-The same compliment to desarters,
yer honor.
Warren telegraph. [volume] (Warren, R.I.) 1857-1861, 1861-07-27

The ENGLISH SHILLING.-It is with ridicule as
with compassion, we do net like to be the soli-
tary recipients Of either, and whether we are
laughed at or pitied, VIC have no objection to
sharers, and fancy we can lessen the weight by
dividing the load. A gentlcma, who was
present at the battle of Leipsic told the Rev. Mr..
Cotton humorous anecdote.
After the signal defeat Of the French at this
memorable action, Leipsic became full of mix
cd medley of soldiers. Of course, great variety
Of coin was in circulation there A British
private, who was attached to the rocket brigade,
and who had picked up little broken French
and German, went to the largest hotel in Leipsic,
and displaying an English shilling to the land
there. "Oh yes" he replied, "you may have
whatever the house affords for that money-it
passes current here at present" Our ioi tunate
soldier, finding himself in such compliant quar-
tcrs called about him most Justify, and the most
sumptuous dinner, washed down by sundry
bottles Of the most expensive wines, were dis
patched without ceremony. On gong away
hc rendered to the bar the identical shilling
which the landlord had inadvertently led him
to expect was to perform such wonders. The
stare, The shrag sed tls- cyclamation- alirifeal
from mine host of tho garter" by such a ter :
der, may be more easily conceived than express
faction of the landlord, took place, who quickly
found, not only that nothing was likely to be
got, but that the laugh would be tremendously
heavy against'him. This part Of the profits he
had very Christian wish to divide with his
neighbor. Taking therefore, his guest to the
street door of his hotel, lie requested him to
look over the way. DO you sec, said he, &C that
large hotel opposite9 That fellow, the landlord
of it, is my sworn rival, and nothing can keep
this story from his cars, in which case / shall
never hear the last of it. Now, my good fellow,
you are rot only welcome to your entertain
ment, but will instantly give you five franc
piece into the bargain, if you will promise, or
the word of a soldier, to attempt the very same
trick with hum tomorrow that succeeded so well
with me to-day"
Our veteran took the money, and accepted
the conditions; but having butoncd up the
silver very securely in his pocket, he took his
leave Of the landlord with the following Speech
and bow that did no dscrcdit to Leipsic
"Sir, deem myself in honor bound to use my
utmost endcavors to put your wishes in exccu-
ton; shall certainly do all l can, but candid
ly inIorm you that fear shall rot succeed
since played the very same trick with that
gentleman yesterday; and it is to his particular
advice alone that you are indebted for the honor
OF my company to-day"
Warren telegraph. [volume] (Warren, R.I.) 1857-1861, 1861-07-27

The Brandon Miss Republican says that
one half Of the papers published in that State
lave been discontinued, through tho want Of
mou.y ot carry tbvm op.
Warren telegraph. [volume] (Warren, R.I.) 1857-1861, 1861-07-27

No man is always wrong. A clock tlat does
not go At dl Is right twice 10 the wsoy'kas
Warren telegraph. [volume] (Warren, R.I.) 1857-1861, 1861-07-27
0he 1narrem Uclcerapb
Is PUBLISHED EVERY SATURDAY,

ny EDWIN #. APPLEGATEs
B.rx BUILDING, Goa OF WATER AND CHURCH STREETS.
Subscriptions S2.5 per annum, in advancc-SS at
the end of the year. Clubs Of ten more subscribers
will be supplied at &2 per year. in advance. Transient
advertisements inserted at VI per square OF ~ INES
or less for three times and 70 cents for each addi-
tional insertion.
BOOK, JOB AND CARD PRINTING
of every description neatly and quickly executed
a the most reasonable terms.
Warren telegraph. [volume] (Warren, R.I.) 1857-1861, 1861-07-27

THE ATTACKS UPON GENERAL Sco7T.-The
Washington correspondent Of the NsW. York
Evening Post throws out . hint ~ TO the at
tacks made upon General SCOTS capacity aad
even fidelity, which will arrest the attention Of
all. It may not move those who make these
vile assaults upon the old hero and patriot, but
it will stir the indignation Of the people at large
whose confidence in the Generals consummate
genius and high-minded devotion to the country
is truly sublime -
"The country will be astounded some day u
learn that it has lost the services Of General
Scots. There are some things, old ~ he Is and
sagaciously prudent, that he will not endu
His intimate friends we'll know that be has al.
ready 6eea very much tried by the mean insiu.
uations against him of journals professedly
friendly to the Administration. He cares moth
ing for the slang of rebels and traitors. But for
loyal men to pronounce him incompetent and
throw out insinuatons that he does not play
well his part as military leader, that hc favors
compromise and wishes to postpone fighting
as long as possible-is q great outrage upon .
loyal soldier, and the greatest captain the
country Affords"
DIR. GARTH AND MrcxEY.-Of the stories pre-
served of Garth's social humor, some are ex-
quisitely droE Writing . letter at . coff;e-
house, he found himself overlooked by o curl
Gus lrishman, who was impudently reading
every word Of the epistle. Garth took no
notice Of TIE mpcrtinence, until he had finish
ed and signed the body of the letter, when he
added postscript of unquestionable Iegibility:
would write you more by this post but
there's tall, impudent Irshman looking over
my shoulder all the time"
What do you mean, sir 2" roared lhe Irish
man in fury. "Do you think looked over
your let err
"Sr," replied the physician, Z" l never once
opened my lips to you"
"Ay, but YOU have put it down for all that"
1T is impossible, sir, that you should know
that, for you have never once looked over my
letter."
Warren telegraph. [volume] (Warren, R.I.) 1857-1861, 1861-07-27
INK. SPREsTON DAY,
nE NTJS

Would respectfully inform the inhabitants OF arrc
that he is prepared perform every opera
tion on the Teeth, in the most approved manner
Plate and Pivot Teeth set in the neatest ana most
,ablc manner Particular attention to the correction
of irregularities in the Teeth of young persons
Work done with despatch, and warranted to give
satisfaction Tooth Brushes, Tooth Powder ana Den
tai Medicines constantly on hand.
RooMs at his residence cor Main and Church SITS.