Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1861-09-21
lTE 9.

Summer complaint for lS6l-Intes.
tine War.
Shocking knowledge-Personal &C
quaintance with galvanic battery.
-" None Of your unkind reflections ,
as the old maid said to the looking glass
More persons are admired and envied
from being unknown than being known.
Livery where endeavor to be useful
and everywhere you will be at home.
-" Sam, why am hogs the most INTEL,
gent beings in the word ?" Because dey
nose c eryting.'
When does the sun act the part of a
! jeweler? When it has made golden set.
A ladies shoemaker" adyer,ises
himself as one of the lumiuaries Of "the
i Sole her System'
-Benef: your friends, that they may
love you still more dearly; benefit your
enemies, that they may become your
+ friends.
Innocence is like an umbrela--when
once We have lost it, we must never hope
to see it back again.
~ hate to hear people talk behind
ones back as the robber said when the
constable called stop thief
Why is anything that is unsuitable
like dumb person? Because it won't
answer.
The eighth wonder Of the world, would
be man satisfied to mind his own busi-
ness.
keep the horrors at arms length
Never turn blessing round to see whe,h
er it has a dark side to it.
-" Pitch darkness has been so i'm.
proved Of late as to read, bi,uminous
obscurity"
Of all the fine arts the finest is tha,
Of painting cheeks with health rather than
rouge.
Livery poet is supposed to have
sweetheart, but, as a general rule, he isn't
as often beside her as be is beside himself
An old bachelor says that marriage
was Instituted for no Other purpose than
to prevent men from sleeping diagonally
in the bed.
-Grapple ever with opportunity. And
rs you don't know when opportunity may
happen along, keep your graphing irons
always ready.
The less man knows, the wider he
wears bis mouth open. |, is as impossi,
BILE for fool to keep his mouth shut, as it
is for sick oyster to keep his she'll closed
When an Irish girl was asked few
days ago, where her mistress was, who
had gone to water cure establishment,
she replied that her mistress had ''gone to
soak
-" My gracious |" exclaimed an ur-
chin in New York, on beholding an En-
glish carriage, with three footmen in livery,
"well, if it doesn't take three Brtishers
to make niggerf'
A little boy asked his father what fool
lived in the house next door. "No fool
lives there that know of; why do you
ask such question:" said the father
"Why heard ma say the other day that
you was next door to fool p was the re-
ply.
A military organization. it is said,
recently existed in New York, which con-
sisted of 400 men, divided into 399 officers
and one private. Each of the officers
took turns drilling the private, until they
killed him, and then the much vaunted
regiment broke up.
The following story is told Of Rev. DR..
Morse: At an association dinner . de.
bate arose as to the benefit of Aogging in
bringing up children. The doctor took
the affirmative, and his chief opponent was
young minister, whose reputation for
veracity was not very high. He main.
tained that parents often do harm to their
children from unjust punishment, from
not knowing the facts in the case. why
said he, the only time my father whipped
. me was for telling the truth" "Well,"
re,or.ed the doctor II. cured you Of it,
didn' it?'