Democrat and sentinel. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1853-1866, 1861-08-28
From the HoME Journal
MATRIMONIAL INFELICITIES.
BY Az IRRITABLE MAN.
Tie morning after.


you?" L asked my wife, when, after having
fini shed my breakfast 1 moved my chair
back from the table. preparatory to reading
the morning papers.
- Nothing" she replied, in a tone. hOwev-
er which clearly signifed the reverse.
But l know there Is, answered, &" for
you have scarcely spoken word since sat
down to breakfast"
''I did not suppose" she said. " that you
cared to have me speak. 1t does not seem
probable that a husband, who will leave his
wife alone an entire evening as you have
done, could have any wish 10 hear her utter a
wori,'
"A good deal win depend, my dear. under
those circumstances" replied, &c as to what
the subject Of her conversation may be. II
she be likely to fad fault with bin for bav-
ing passed one evening out of-say q month
away from home, why then think she had
better remain silent"
" Oh, you think SO do you p she exclain-
ed &" then all 1 can say IS. that, so far as I
am concerned, viii not have my tongue
tied but viii tell you just what I think Of such
/ acts"
. Very well ny dear, >" SAID, ''g go Cd; I
viii listen. But first le. me tell you that I
think it very unkiud OF you not to SIT up for
me last night j good wife will sit up for
her husband, when he IS ou.. until morning,
If lie come not home before. Then too, let
me tell you. it IS c1nfoundedly unpleasant to
find all the lights cut and the very gas itself
turned of, and not candle or match to be
| found anywhere II it had not been for the
moonlight, which streamed in at the window
l should have broken my neck, stumbling
over the chairs, which 1t seemed to me, were
purposely placed where I might run again
them. Now, il there be one thing dis
Ike more than another. it is TO break my
neck stumbling over chairs in the dark"
% Well thsn. I must say you are nice
| man" my wife replied. = really had no
idea that you were on the extreme state your
own words imply. In The first place the gas
was left burning, and, now that you have
drawn my attention to It, 7 see that It is bur
ming at this moment-please turn 1t of viii
you In the next it was raining hard when
you came home and consequently the moon
was not shining. As for your not being
able to fud the candle and matches, why it
would prove q matter OF little consequence &c
one who could not tell gas-iight from moon
light. though 50 far as the fact of the case
goes. both the candle and the matches were
IL their usual place. Lastly as to your break
ing your neck by stumbling over chairs, why
all have to say is, that l think you viii be
likely to live thousand years before such
au event occurs What l most look at and
regret, however, Is shat you are setting
most pernicious example to the children"
:. Good gracious - l exclaimed. what
woman you are to talk. Why the children
we're sound asleep when 1 returned, and if
you didn't tell them, they wouldn't know
whether I came home on my head OF feet 1
must say too. think 1t was very wrong in
you to pretend to be asleep, and allow me to
stumble around in the dark. as you did"
.. But l tell you. It was not dark" my
wife replied - saw every step you took,
aud if you had broken your neck over the
chairs as you imagine you almost did,
should have been the first to have known it.
:. l suppose you would have known it." 1
said, even before 1 we're aware of it my
self"
O.. Very likely she answered, - for you
seemed to know very little But suppose
now, you Jell me waere you were last eve
ming You lefJ the house, saying yOu were
/ going to market. and would return in few
moments 1 waited for you patiently till
eleven O'clock, when l went to bed, and
| know it must have been after twelve when
you came home. I did not know but that
vou had been robbed and murdered, and l
was really very much alarmed about you
.. You must have been exceedingly alarm
ed, = I answered, 20 have gone to sleep as
you did, The fact is that if I dislike one
thing more than another. it Is to come home
and dnd my wife abed."
=. You have said just the contrary" tb,
amiable woman answered, . when you hav,
found me sitting up for you. The truth i
there is no pleasing you men. We poor wO
men are snubbed aud curbed at every stel
in life by you lords of creation. Oh 1 some
times wish were q man, IL it were only Il
show your sex how 10 treat ours properly y
But you have not yet told me where yOr
were last night"
q. Oh, 1 went" replied, TO hear Mad
ame Bishop sing the Flag of our Union, an