The south-western. [volume] (Shreveport, La.) 1852-1870, 1861-02-20

Saii young lady, who was ashlona3iy educated al
boarding schools, and INDUCED in deness at home, g
that jhere was neither strength elasticity in -
framE could nor even Eft .
used to be 81 physical ezeron wona make me
III f65 a week. Looking day at the Irish girls and
noticing their healthy, robust appearance determined
to make new trial and sec If could not bring the
roses to nv cheeks and rid myself of the dreadful las
stude that oppressed me One sweeping day | went
brdyaiy to work cleaning thoroughly the parlors three
chambers the front stairs and hall, after which lay
dow and rested until noon, when I arose and ate a
hearIer meal than for many day Since that time !
haveoccuped portion Of every day in active do
nestle labor and only all my friends cOngratu-
latin the upon my improved appearance, but in mT
whole being-nind body, and spirit--do experience
a wohdroas vigor to which have Hitherto been per
feet stranger. Young ladies' try my catholicon. JANE
Ldrd chancellor Clare, on one occasion, while Gu :
ran VA addressing him, in most important case oc-
cupid himself with favorite Newfoundland dog seat
ed by lin CuTnn having ceased speaking through
Indignation ii malice prepeDse, lord Clare raised bis
.jThT dom. you proceed, Mr.. Carran?n
q thought your ordships were in consultation re-
piled Curran.
AIfock Of birds flying over the heads of two city
merGhantz, one Of them exclaimed
How happy these creatures are! They have no ac-
ceptances to payI
t'Tou are mistaken" replied the other; 'they have
theii bills to provide for as well as We"
An Irish auct1neer, whilst expSjftting the merits
Of d telescope, sagely Observed "How often has the
wdbw's heart lesped for joy when she had behed her
husband at distance brought her by such an in
strlment a. this?'
sEIeres your money, dot and now tell me why
vou vour rascally master wrote eighteen letters
abotlt that contemplate sum- PPM sure | can't tell
butt if you'll excuse me sir guess it was because the
seventeenth did't fetch it
a clergyman had a milk white horse, which on ac-
count of its beautiful form, be called Zion Having
ordered his horse to the door friend asked him where
he Iyas going?
JWhT." sail he, ito Mount Zion"
An old maid was heard to cNcaim while sitting at
herItoilet lately, u bear adversely; can encouH-
terIhardshipg and Withstand the shocks Of tickle
fortune but Oh to live and droop ike single pink,
cannot endure it, and what's more, wont
A person recommending a COW, said she would give
GOOD milk year after year. without having calves be-
cauBe it ran ia the breed and she froma that
never had a calf
'Whatl ere you trunk aeain:"
aNu my dear, not drunk but little slippery The
factis nv dear some scoundrels have been rubbing my
boots till theg are as smooth pane Of glass"
The human mind is SO ford Of striking contrasts,
that when a man is praised for some extremely high
quality the first thought of many people sto ascertain
what are lis lowest ones.
Empty consequential people have generally! astrong
aversion to men who think, for many other reasons,
and because it is extremely probable that such persons
arenot thinking about them.
Gontentncnt depends not upon what We have, but
what we would have; tub was large enough for the
great Diogena but world toe small for Alexan-
der, the ambitious.
Il yeungstcr, being chased by wild COW, ran into a
thi6ket and not returning home till late was asked by
his mother where he hadbeen2-"A cowhiding mar
was the prccocious reply of the little fellow
There is this difference between happiness and wis
dol; be that thinks himself the happest man really IS
so but he that thinks himself the wsest is generally
the greatest fool
Robust health is indicated by the ruby color Of the
corntanance when not too much concentrated in the
nose.
kbsteniousness aud frueality the best bankers
They show handsome interest and never dishonor a
draft drawn on them by their humblest customers.
lit is good sign to see woman dress with taste and
neatness Il i bad sign to see her husband sued for
lcrfeathers and foolery, jcms and icwelr5.
WHY is a Ti6ower going to be married, like eua de
cologne? Because be is re-wiyiHg.
.An Irshuan caught hornet in his hand but
dropped il and exclaimed: BE iabers what kind of
teeth do your birds have in Amerikys'
WHY was st. Paul ike horse? Because he loved
TraoGhy
mister I owe You a grudge remember that" II
shah not he frightened fer ! never knew you to pay
an9 thing that you owed
I'm Irishan being asked ia court for lis certificate
Of marriage showed big scar his head, about the
shape Of shovel, which vas satisfactory
IA lady great alarm Al )Ell5 hisScu
husband lest some one should them and conclude
thdy we're not married
Always do as the docs-look ii the bright side
of every thing. it is just cheap and theec times
good for digestion.
IN the olden time they counted seven wisc men
Now take men at their own value, and you won't find
haff that number Of fools
4 sailor, looking serious in chapel, asked by
! minister ifhe felt any change. Marry red, said
jack
sidney smith compares the whistle Of a locomotive
= IN seuoa DC attorney when satin first gets him.
five man brains and riches, and be is king; give
b;r, brains without riches, and he is fool
what Is tac difference between ship and hem
Tbe hen llvB one egg, and the ship laJsto.
modest young lady who Is about to be married,
votr, she'll take choroforn when the time comes
Fho world IS ruled by three knss-eash, calico and
Whv would Young girls and old maids make good
,6lsiers2 Because they are both used to powder.
sspp, Nllst II your nariet' Robert sir. YES
III Iseeal vtalr other name" Bob, sir
cav areirrroFs silent? Because they are always re-
he ting. ..,...a-:.- .,,d oa4 ,r.tt, tI,n1.
iaaTes-infansy aud senil5ty
Il better ID love one fcu eanhet maiE7 or to mar
W onc you c4aaot iugcs
= Wen III did Moses sleep fse IN feA When he
senf win hi tofeiathers