The Bedford gazette. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1805-current, 1861-11-01

i4e SeFillsu 10 De pleased with my Ways and
we entered into conversation 10 onc't.
How's Lewis % | axed, and he ged the En-
peror was well. Eugeny was likewise well
he sed. Then | axed him was Lewis GOOD
ProVlder Did be cum home arly mites Did
ne perioom her bedroom at unreasonable bonr
WIN gin and tanzy? Did be 90 to the g T,odoe
OF mites when there wasn't any Lodge ~ DID
ne often go down town to meet friend Did
ne nav extenslv acquaintance among moor
young widderS whose husbans was in CaIIfornva
10 all which questions the Prints perIItelv re-
PlIde, g'Vin me to understan that tie EmpeIor
was behavin well.
ak these questions, my loyal duke and
most noble highness and imperials, because Pm
anxious to know how be stands as man.
know he's smart. He is cunnin. he is Iono-
headed, he Is deep-he IS CRATE. But onless he
is good he'll come down with crash one Of
these days and the Bonyparts will be Bustid IN
agin, Bet yer life -
& AR you preacher, sir o. he inquired Site
y sarkastlcul.
No, sir. But bleeve IN morality. like
wise bleevp in Meetin Houses. Show me-
place where there isn't any Meetn Houses and
where preachers is never seen, and TIL show
you place where old hats air stuffed into bro
Ken windows, where gates hav no hinges. where
the wlmIn air slipshood, and where maps of the
devils wild land ar painted upon mems shirt
ooSums with tobacco jooce That's what I'll
show you. Let US consider what the preachers
do for US before we aooose 'em."
tie sed he didn't mean to aboose the CLERGY
Not at all and he was happy that was lnte.-
ested in the Bonypart family.
" It's CRATE lamily," sed 7. {" But they
scOoPed he old man in.'
How, SIR 20
"Napoleon the Grand. The 8ritishers scoop-
ed him at Waterloo He wanted 10 20 10 much
and he did 1t They scooped hIm in at Water
loo, and ne subsequently, died at ST. Helenv
Ihere,S where the greatest military man This
world ever produced 2egged out. Ii was ratb
er hard to coHsine such 4 man as him 10 ST h.
leny, to spend his larst DAYS in catchin mack
eril, and walkin mp and down the drearv beach
IN military cloak drawn titeIy around hin.
lsee Pfcter-books,) bat so It was. 8 He'd of the
Army! Them was his Iarst words. So he
had BIN. He was CRATE Don't | wish We
had a par of his old boots to command sum ofI
our Brigadesl -
This pleased Jerome "sa-s's' s'''sk i1sz \
Alexander the Crate was pumpkins" l |
continnered, 1" but Napoleon was pumpkinser. I
Aieck wept becawS there was no more worlds |
20 scoop, and then took to drinkin. He drown
did his sOTrers in the flown bole, and the flow
in bole was too much for him. 1t gnrally is |
He undertook to Civ a snake exhibition in his |
boots, but Ii killed hun. That was a bad COAX |
for Alick I"
"Snce you are SO solic:tous about France, !
and the Emperor, may ask you how your own
country Is getting along 2" sed Jerome, in |
pleasant voice.
90 It's mixed" sed. "But think we shall |
cum out all right"
Columbus, when he diskivered this maglif-
cent continent, could hav no idee of the gran |
deur II would one day aSsoom," SAID the Prints. |
1t cost Columbus twenty thousand dollars to
ht out his explorn expedition" sed |. II he |
had bin sensible man he'd hay pu! the /
money in boss railroad or gas company, and !
left this magnificent continent to the intelligent /
savage, who when they get hold of good thing
know enuf to keep If, and who wouldn't hav
seeded, nor rebelled, nor kn7ckt Liberty in The
heel with sunZshot. Columbus wasn't much
,i a feler, after all 1t would hav bin money
n my pocket If he'd staid to home. Christ
nent well, but be put his foot in it when he
aled tor America"
We talked some more about mattears and
hlngS, and at last / riz to go. g will now
ay good bye to you, noble SIR, and good luck
o you. Likewise the same to Clotidy. Also
0 the gorgeous persons which compose YOUR
cot. II the Emperor's boy don't like livin at
he Tooeries, when he gets older. and would
ike TO embark in the show bznss, let him come
o me and J'i make nan OF him. You find
is somewhat linked, as [ before observed, but
ONE again next year and you'll find II clearner
or ever. The American Eagle has lvd too
umptuously OF lae-hls Stummic oecum foul,
nd he's now takin slight emetic. That's all.
We're getting ready to strike big blow and
ure one. When We do strike the fur will fly
nd secession will be in the hands Of the under Z
aker, sheeted for so deep grave that nothin /
hort of GabriePs trombone will ever awakin ii!
Ilnd what l say. You've heard the show
man, '
Then advisin hm to keep away from the
Peter Funk auctions OF the East, and the pro-
'rletors of corner lofts 10 the West, | bId him
arewell, and went away.
There was a levee at senator What's. his
ame's, and thought I'd jine inithe festivities
Or spell Who should | see but she that was
,arah Watkins, now the wife of our Congress
r, trippin in the dance, dressed up in her store
lose. Sarah's father used to keep little gro
ers store in our town, and she used to clerk If
or him in busy times. was rushin up 10
hake hands with her when she turned On her j
eel, and tossin her he'd in contemptuious
manner, walked away from me very rapid
Halo, Sal,' hollered, " can't you measure
ne quart of them best melasses! may want '
goldfish, also !" l guess this reminded her OF
be little red store, and g the days Of her happy