Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1861-10-12

''She will probably be gone some
time, six weeks, believe"
Inever knew aunt to stay so long
from home; but I must stop at least
one night, for it is car time, and I can
not return until tomorrow"
What could | do? Surely I was born
under an unlucky star. Before me was
the niece, the heiress, Of whom I had
heard such eXtrayagant praiseS-and
what made me still more mcomforta-
ble, was the provoking smiles that
would come whenever she looked at
me. | wondered what could be the
cause Of her meryiment Surely it
could not be I, who was called the fin
est looking man in town. Something
mus be done, so | invited the lady in,
and excusing myself, went to Toms
room, to see if he had survived his
DOWNFALL The exclamation that greet
ed me as I opened the door was in no
way fattering to my pride.
"My gracious Bob, you havn't been
to the door with that face 90
"Of course | have, and served not
only as door-tender, but as 4 committee
Of arrangements, and introduced the
lady into the parlor, and am now wait
ing for you to go down with me and
entertain her"
ooh, dear! shall die. Do look in
the glass, Bob.''
And, holding on to his sides, he slid
from his chair to the floor, and rolled
over and over with such velocity that
really thought he had gone crazy.
Hooked in the glass. Oh, horror of
horrors. !. what face presented ITSELF
My head looked as if it had blossomed
from the flour barrel; on my forehead
were two marks. commonly called beau
ty-Spots, (but | called them horrid
spots) my beautiful nose, that was the
most marked feature Of my facet
looked as if it had been dipped in ink.
''How do you like the looks? Don't
you think the lady will be charmed p
Oh, DEAR" and Tom went into a roll
ING fit.
made no answer but started for the
door.
"Where are you going? To com
plete the fascination %
"Going to make q clean breast as
we'll as a clean face Of the natter"
And, while Tom was dressing his
best, | explained matters to the lady
visitor, and joined with her in laughing
at our mishaps. She insisted on being
shown to the scene of the disaster; and
and finding resistance useless, [ went
with her to the region below. Tom
soon came down, and acting as her
servants, we soon put thing in shape
and place.
D"nning one of her aunt's ample
aprons, the little figure fitted from room
to room and soon dispatched the baking.
| tended the stove, Tom gathered up
the fragments, specializing upon the du
rability Of Jobs patience had he pass
ed through the ordeal of housekeeping;
ana he concluded his meditations by
saying that if he had passed through
the trying ordeal he never would have
been handed down as the model of pa
tience.
At the usual hour for tea, we sat down
to a table loaded with bread, pies and
cake, (the custard pudding was not
forgotten) rs nicely baked as any ever
placed before us by Our landlady.
While enjoying the meal, and laugh
ing over the adventures Of the day, who
should walk in but our landlady, wear
ing upon her face such an innocent ex-
preston, that [ being naturally of sus-
picious nature, began to think that she
had not been far distant after all; but
being also wise man, | said not a
word, though | thought great deal on
the subject. My suspicious were con-
tirmed by the knowing look that passed
between aunt and niece. I could not
for a long time forgive her for the les
son she had taught me she put her lit
tie hand in mine and promised to make
my bread during lifetime; freely for
gave the aunt, and thought that my ex-
perience in the line of cooking was not
SO Improbable as it might have been.
Tom says that it was my nose that
made my fortune, and that perhaps he
''mi9ht have been the lucky one if it
hadn't been for the confounded broom
handle" I know not whether my nose
won the Tady's love; but one thing l do
know shall never meddIe with that
work which is never done. And to
those who are wise in their own con-
ceit, would say, let them try and see
what they can do ; perhaps their expe
rience will coincide with my own.