Holmes County farmer. [volume] (Millersburg, Ohio) 1857-1926, 1861-05-23

ccpt yourselves that you've bin gettcn drunk on
the peoples mummy and raiscn the taxes and be.
haven very unpurty in a crate menny other things
and If you don't do the bi5c thing I'll sift these
things and then the thundcrs ormy clcqucncc will
proclaim II thru the land "
DENNIson "NIr. SMrn this insulting Language
must be stopped, sir, or will have you taken from
the roouI'
SMITn.-Bcgin to feel your oats, lrekon--think
you are mighty gratc man--ware store clothes
sce-spose you cbaw bottcn tobocker--you con
sder yourself "succedoneun," do you u lsposc
you had better go slow--I don't skcer worth con-
tnental mill dam--iust try putten me ont and I'll
make you dance hornpipc on the tow of my butte.
Now. Bill I've cum here to give you a tockcn
to- and the more you cloze your mouth and open
your ears the sooner I'll cit dun"
DENNIsoN--"Procccd, Mr.. SMITH"
Smrn--"Wcll, BILL, | want you to set about
the work of lcformashen. The calkcrlation over
the country is that olmty mean men get ol'es in
Columbus, ard guess it's true to n alarnin cx.
tent There is lot of the most jofred ornary
cusses in the country cum down on this deer dis
tracted city, like buzzcrds cum down on a carcos,
to accumulate a vast amount of fat without emmy
regard as to where the nut ;shus aliment Gums
from and you have apintcd 'cm' to feed on the
treasury at the expense of the sogers and the tax
payers. This has excited the pccpe ogn you till
tha swcar like Bob jenkins when he finds his
whisky watered. You hav bin overbaren to the
solgers YOURSELF and you've orpintcd a set of
hairless cusses to oiics, and the hole gang of you
treat the solgers worse nor stiler would treat
his hogs Beside that the farmers will soon have
to sell out thare farms to pay the taxes. Bill
you are the first "succedaneum" Governor the
State of Ohio ever had, and you've sucked the
people internally that you are likely to bea the
! last"
"SMrH, your fool" sed DENNlsoN.
"Keep your shirt on, scd SMITH,
"Dry up," sed DENNIsoN"
"Go to the Devil and tell him I sent him
worthy companions" sed SMITH.
"Your liar" said DENvlsoN
"Your darned old suck.cgg," sed SMITH,
81 never sucked an egg in my lifc," sed Denn-
son.
"If you would pick the hens the way you've bin
pickcn the peepcl their woodcnt bca menny eggs
to suck in FUTURE" sed Smith.
"You'd better go to Yaller crick and dig for
ground squirrels" sed Dennson.
You'd better have hole bored in the top Of
your he'd and balony sassage stuck in, that you
ma hav sum branes," sed Smith.
"lll call for a regiment of Home Guards" sed
, Dcnnison.
"l'll call for the fool-kiler," sod Smith.
"Get out of my house," sed Dennison.
81 have an interest in this ere house, sed Smith
and I've cum here to took and I'm goin to du it ;
| want you to quit your darncd raskality, ant
apnen perlitikai favertcs to oiIes what tha don
q kno how to iill. want you to order no more sol
gers out of Camp without thaie pay and almos
p without close. l want you to konduct the affair
of the State as to leav the peepel a few shilen
after there taxes are paid, and in konkluson,
want you to treat the solgers in camp as gentle
men and patrols shood be treated"
Dennison, at this stage of the proceedings, tack
c ed about and invited Smith to take ''nip !;
It whereupon they started for a grocery. The las
our reporter saw of them they were playing
j game of "old sledge. They stood six and six
and Smith had the beg. 1t is said the soldiers ar
i now faring better.