Holmes County farmer. [volume] (Millersburg, Ohio) 1857-1926, 1861-05-02
w. DENNISON.
r. w. TAYLER,
A. p. Russell.
SOlilOGuy of n LOafer.

| Let's see, where am l? This is-coal
I'm lying on. How'd l get here? Yes,
I mind now. Was coming up street
met a wheelbarrow; was drunk, comm
t'other way, the wheelbarrow fell over
me, or over the wheelbarrow, and one of
us fell into the cellar-do'nt know which
now-guess it must ha' been me. Pm
nice young man, yes l am-tight! tore!
drunk Well! can't help it-'taint my
fault-wonder whose fault tits? Is it
Jones fault? No. It's my wife's fault?
Well, it amt. Is it the wheelbarrow's
fault? No. It's whisky's fault. Who is
whisky? Has he large family? All
poor, l reckon. think l won't own him
any more. Pll cut his acquaintance. I've
had that notion for about ten years, and
always hate to do it for fear of hurting
his feelings. I'll do it now-I think liq !.
uor's injurin' me-its spoilin' my temper.
Sometimes get mad, when Pm drunk,
and abuse Bets and the brats; it used to
be Lizzie and the children-that's some
time ago. I'd come home o. evenin's she
used to put her arms around my neck and
kiss me and call me dear William. When
| comes hame now, she takes her pipe
out of her eyes, and says somthin' like
"Bill, you drunken brute, shut the door
after you; we are cold enough, haven no
fire, thout lettin' the snow blow in that
way" Yes she's Bets and I'm Bill, now.
| amt good bill, nuther; think Pm a
counterfeit, won't pass a tavern without
goin in and gettin' drunk-Don't know
what bank Pm on. Last Saturday was
on the river bank drunk.
stay out pretty late; no. sometimes
I'm out all night; facts is, Pm out pretty
much all over-out of friends, out of
pocket, out at the elbows and knees, and
always outrageously dirty-so Bets says;
but then she's no judge, for she's never
clean herself. Iwonder why she docs mt
wear good clothes may be she hasn't got
'em; whose faults that?-tain't mine
must be whiskey's.
Sometimes Pm in, however; I'm in
toxicated now, and in somebody's coal
cellar. There's one principle I've got
| won't get in debt; | never could do it.
There, one of my coat tails is gone-got
'''o ohb oApoIt, Wucu lcll III HcTe.
I'll have to get a new suit soon. A lel-
low told me. t'other day, that Ia make a
good sign for paper mill.-If he was mt
so big I'd kick him.-Ive had this shirt
on for nine days. an Pm afraid it won't
come off without tearin'. People ought
to respect more'n they do. for Pm in ho-
ly order. l aint dandy, though my
clothes are pretty near Greascian style.
guess ] tore this window shutter in my
pants tother night, when ] sat down on
the wax in Ben Rugg's shop; I'll have
to get it mended, or--Pll catch cold. ]
amt very stout, as it is. AS the boys
say, Pm as fast as match and as healthy
as thesmall pox. My best hat has beer
standing guard for window pane thai
went out t'other morning at the invita-
tion ofs brickbat. IT'S gettin' cold dowr
here wonder if ! amt able to climb.
| had drink | could think better. Let,
see; amt got three cents; if was in 1
tavern | could sponge one.--Wheneve
anybody treats and says "come felers,
always think my names "iellers," anc
I've got too good manners to refuse
Well, must leave this, or they'll arres
me for attempt at burglary. | aim
come to that yet. Anyhow it was the
wheelbarrow done the harm--not me.