Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1861-12-19
OUR HIRED GIRL"

The contour of beauty is waving line, bu
domestic happiness is a triangle. Let who will
be base and hypothenuse. "our hired girl" is
inevitably the perpendicular. Withou, her
bridal vows arc the emptiest of words and we'd
ded bliss, as brief as an Arabian Nights EN- er-
tainment. What degree Of affection can warm
cold coffee or what JOY can eavcn bread as
heavy as the hearts of the daughters of Judah ?
Footprints on the kitchen floor are not the foot
prin.s the, make our lives sublime :" love can
be content with "a dinner Of herbs no doubt,
if there be anybody to gather and cook them.
! There w0S a time when con1ublalIv speaking,
two made pair, hut marimony nowadays. is
Peunsy Ivauia arrangement-a sort of "spike
team" without which, the small commonwealth
Of domestic economy will not move at ALL The
ioll-rashoned couples who rock ed the cradle of
hope and the baby between them. and helped
each other on, are pretty much all dead; to
make descent upon neighhor. and carry off
a girl as, according to Li,y, the wicked Romans
did, is necessary to tiuish the family circle, and
keep the wedding ring complete.
To clasp hand Just wrung disronsoately ont
from the dish-water, or to fancy pugiiistic
IIehc punging her snowy little fist into the
Nltlt'HI 'hHSS VI dh illl'd lpHl, IN SUWCtUlEp 2
not to he contemplated without cup Of Va 'crian
within easy reach. A wife. with her skirts
clcwed up, like sail with a storm brewing.
aud swaying mop, is not al all as The lionris
do. who sit on crimson cloud aud cnbroider
the moonlight
We hear good deal of "the sinews of war :"
the minimum price of the sioews of love ia ff.
,y-,vo dollars year The elements of human
happiness are love to God, love to man, love to
one woman, and the possession Of "hred sir,'
and in the arrangement Of good Providence,
the last attainment is the most difficult ofal
Could man marry two wives at once, what
blessing it would be The one for ornament,
the other for utility, the uii'e cum dulce would
be most il gcniousy realized, and thus. the do
mcs,c Geometry would he perfected, and the
triangle become in twinkiing, the symbol Of
dom site felicity.
But as i. now is what dignity invests "our
hired girl" She is the calico "tie that binds
two willing hearts in one" and be she blessed
forever Think that the red.arned barbarian
who rules the roost and the house together, when
she smoothes your linen bosom. is freeing your
ileshy breast from care, and ironing out win
kle IRON the brow; remember, when, of frosty
mornings, she lights fire whereby you make
your toilet that by the same sign, she is replen-
i>hing the fame Of love: and the feeblest of
lancies will transform her into priestess, who
keeps forever burning the ethereal spark of do
mestic affection
Had Adam been modern, and it, as Milton
said, Eve was her own daughter, he might have
been, there would have been "a hired girl" in
Paradise to "raise Cain" and look after the lit
tie Abel. The would have hung the dish-cloth
on the roses that Eve ia tears bent over, that
never wonld in other gerdcns grow and tear
the f. leaf aprons all to pieces, washing days
Adam must bring water from the Euphrates,
for her use before be went to "op the wanton
growth" Of clustering vines she must sit be-
tween the Gardener and his wife at dinner; if
Angel visltants, sometimes, on business bound,
dj call, till the stars were filed, to light them
home Heaven, she leaves the work and
smoolhcs her hair. and cntertaihs the stranger
quite awares and by and by, old Adm easy
sou'!-and his fair wife, would live with Bird.
get and Bridge, would be the occupant of Eden.
Happy would Adam be, if he were MT compelled
to carry Bridget home each Saturday night, and
bring her back, each Monday morning, fourteen
Scotch miles all told Happy, if when she leaves,
she will give him "a character" and not like
Sampson. bear away the gates Of peace
All bishops may marry, and patriarchs may
bless, but what are they to Bridget whose stout
red finger Oh the knot, keeps blessings from un-
tying. And Bridget knows she is sort Of Pc.
ter, and keeps the keys OF Adams hreSile
heaven. II you say SERVANT speak it under
breath, lest the fearful hollow OF her listening
ear should catch it, and her soul take fire She
rcpudiates hired girl = 'hep' is hardly pals-
table she does not work" for YOU; she only
"@ayS' at Mrs Ewes In fact the dear domestic
firm is Adam. Eve and Co.. and whn hut Brd-
get is the "CoW BE cautious, Eve !! by no
mschance prefer to Bridge, that tea.cup with
a nick: twill do for Adam. and 'twcud raise
old Nick with her. B. cautious, Adam Serve
poor bridget first ; Eve can wait you know.
Rene mber always, you are sure Of Eve, but