Holmes County farmer. [volume] (Millersburg, Ohio) 1857-1926, 1861-01-17
An rrssbpau,s Tcstimony.

headed fellow, "whose nature is like unto
a brick" The Major has a most happy
knack Of telling anecdotes, aud as Provi-
dence blessed him by 6ling his veins
with Irish blood, he cen excel Barney
Williams in the brogue and peculiar man
ner of the ''iligant pisintry." A short
time ago we heard him relate the follow
ing, which we will give as near as we can
10 his own words.
"You know that it is one OF the pecu
lisrities of the Irish that when two OF
them get to quarreling, oil who may be
present Immediately join in, and thus get
up "a nice bit Of a row. in the shortest
possible notice. A case Of the kind oc-
CURED downtown last week. In one Of
the little streets running from Broad, lives
an Irish family rather remarkable for
their warlike propensities. While ut
breakfast, the daughter and son, both
grown up, got to quarreling, and the
daughter threw cup of coffee in the
brothers face. He retorted with the
nearest missile at hand. The mother
took the side of the daughter; the father
that OF the son-and in moment the
fun-like that of Tam O'Shanter's witch
es--became fast and furious The
neighbors, Irish generality hearing the
row, rushed to the door, but did not at
tempt to stop the fight. and in few
moments the fracas eliminated by the
father stabbing his wife with carving
knife. BY this time the police came and
arrested the whole party, including one
innocent, ignorant bog-trotter, who had
been calmly standing in the door, looking
on with openmouthed wonder. His ar
Iest frightened him terribly, and the assu-
rance of the officers that they only wanted
him for q witness, could not remove his
agitation. The whole party were taken
TO the office of an alderman, and the ca, &c
was brought up for hearing, Ssid the
alderman to the witness.
"What is your name?"
"Barney Dugar. yer honor"
"Well, Barney, tell what you know
about this case"
~ will, yer honor This morn was
takin' my bite with Molly-(that's the
ould woman, yer honor when l heard
a diviI of Nv a row over at Tins. / ran
to the door, sur, and there | saw the
daughter hev the bruther by the hair NV
the head, and the bruther was slathern
her with loafuv bread when the moth
er, she interlered, and the ould man Civ
her wipe wild the coffee pot, knockn,
her back from the table, when she grasp
ed holt NV the skillit an broke it over
his head-ah' the old man then grasped
the carvin knife from the table an struck
her in the stumick-an' that's all
know about it. yer honor"
"Will you swear to this, Barney asked
the alderman.
"Sure, / will, sur. What shall
swear, sure?"
"Why, kiss the book-the Bible; that
is the only kind OF swearing we permit
here"
can is it the good book must kiss?
i'll do that same, sure; but would yer
honor jist unite that bit NV string, that
! may see if it is the good book, indade!"
THAT is hardly necessary replied the
alderman. give you my word that the
book is the Bible, and that ought to sat
isfy you, I think"
"Sure. it does sur but I'd be better sat
isficd if | saw it wild me two eyes for me
self"
"Well, stand back for the present, un-
til we SEQ what the other witnesses have
to sny"
Barney took seat on the bench, and
the case progressed to conclusion. II
was clear that the woman had been stab
bed in the row, but none of the witnesses
swore that they saw her stabbed, except
Barney. He was, therefore, again called
up by tho alderman
"Barney Dugan, you swear positively
that you saw the prisoner stab the woman
in the fracas?"
"Sur?"
you swear You saw the prisoner stall
the woman in tho fracas?' replied the
alderman.
"No sur didn't say that at all. ye
honor"
"Why, you moment ago not only
said 1t but, swore to it. Will you repeat
now what you did see?"
"Yes, sur will. l saw Tim there
stab the ould woman wild carvin' knife
in the stumicb, but devil the bit did see
him stab her in the fracas, yer honor"
This explanation upset the gravity"
OF the court, and it was some moments
before the alderman could control his
nerves sufficient to bind Barney over to
appear at court as a witnes-a part of the
proceedings which completely disgusted
the son Of Green Erin.
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