The Oxford intelligencer. (Oxford, Miss.) 1860-18??, 1861-01-23
SCRAPS.

ErIorErrE requires that 10 Chinese conversa-
ton each should compliment the other, and
everybody belonging to him, in the most lsuda-
tory style, and dcpruciate himself with all per-
tanning to him, to tho lowest possible point
The following Is no exasgeration, though not
the precise words: "What is your honorable
nameS' "My Insignificant appellstiop is,
Wong Where il your magnificent palaesy'
MY contemplate hut is at Suchan.n .How
many are your illustrious children ~ NY
vile, worthless brats are fiye" "IIow Is The
health of your distinguished spouses my
mean, good-fornothing oldwenan is wslL'' bHs
THEverdicts returned BY our jurors are some
times rather queer as most lawyers have had
means Of knowing, bat there was one recently
returned by Western jury, more laughable
than any other We have cver heard or read Of,
It appears that three youag men wcro recently
tried for shooting and inortuy wounding dog,
and the written verdict Of the .twclve good
men and true" was il the following words, to
wit "All three guilty Plaintiffs damages as
sessod at sixpenec; aud each Of the defendants
to have another shot at the dogp s s'afs sra'
SrAxMrEiSa, says Colctijge, Is sometimes tho
cause Of pun Some one was mentioning IN
Lambs presence the cold -heartedncss Of the
Duke Of Cumberland in preventing tie Duchess
! from rushing up to the embrace uf her son,
whom she had not seenfora considerable time,
and insisting on receiving him in state. "How
horribly cold it wasl" said the Rarrator-
Yes, said Lamb, in his suffering wag. sbnt
you know he is. the Duke Of Cu-cuui,bsr -lsnds
Az old gentleman went out to shoot part
ridges, accompanied by his son. The gun was
charged. halfway up to the muzzle, and whom
al last the old gentleman started some birds, be
took a rest and blazed away, expecting to SEQ
some Gall. Of course; but not SO did II happen,
for the gun recoilcd with so much force as 10
"kick" him OVER. The old man got up, and
while rubbing the sparks out Of his eyes ID.
quired of his son, "Dick, did point The right
end of the gun To the birds !" tstt9 iisslx
otD Deacon Sharp never told lie, but hs
used 10 relate this lie was standing one day
beside frog pond-we have his word for n
and saw large gartcr-snake make an Sttempt
upon an enormous big bull-ffog The snake
seized one Of the frogs hind legs, and the frog,
TO be on spsr with his snakeship, caught him
by the tail, and both commenced swallowing
one another. and continued this carniserous op.
Grafton until nothing was LETT OF either Of them-
ADAsHIse foreman to West-snd tailor being
in mixed company. wished to Impress thoss
present with the immsnse importance of his
services to his employers. Though, i ssy. IL
that should not say il" said he, IF il was nos
for me- our people couldn't carry on their hus-
mess" Il can very well believe your put IN
one of the party, Il never heard Of a tailor who
could carry on his business without agosse."'sz
lS country druggists shop. where ciears
and nsuseous galenieals are sold, person pur.
chased some Havahas, and commenced smoking
some Of them. when bis eve caught notice-
No smoking allOwedH sWsll O. he exclaimed,
that is pretty jVke; you sell q chap eisafs,
and then won't let him smoke fheml', ssTrse,s
replied the druggist and ssll esnstics Too. b1t
1 l don't intend 10 have them taken hsre.sssszia
r~wur Is tbs letter D Ike ring , ssid a lady
to her accepted The gentleman IKE The gen
crafty Of bis ser in such situation, was As dun
as hammer. "Because," added the LADY, with
avery modest look At she picture 4 DE other
end Of the room--sbccause We czhf be wed
without IT. -
"FIEsr boy, state what were the dark ages of
the world |" Boy bssisates "Nezt u.ster
jones' can you tell me What the dark skes
werey' The age before gas was invented"
SEHarAsr cOckle,a rough. clustering fsllOw,
and well known on tbe northern circuit, oncs
got from witness mOre than be gave. In .
trial Of right Of fishery, he asked the witnssS
"DOntyou love hshT' "ihls replied the Wit
ness, with grin; but I don't Ike Cookie sAoes
with it's
A BACHELOR seOlogiss is seguairtcd With AZ
rocks szeept rod the csdiaa