The weekly Portage sentinel. [volume] (Ravenna, Ohio) 1854-1861, 1861-03-13
Am IyIShMan's Testimony.

We, have a friend we call Major-a gal.
liant member of the National Guard-the
proprietor of first rate saloon on Chestnut
street-a handsome, witty, big headyd fell
low, "whose nature is like unto brivk."-
The major has most happy knack OF telling
anecdotes, and as Providence blessed HIM
by filling his veins with Irish blood, he can
excel Barney Williams in the brogne and
peculiar m9nner of the "illegan pisntry."
"A short time ago we heard him relate the
following, which we will give as near as we
can in his own words:
"You know that it ia one o. the peculiari.
ties of the Irish that when two OF them get
to quarreling, ell of whom may be present
Immediately join in, and thus get up .anice-
bit of row. in the shortest possible notice
A case of this kind occurred down stree.
last week. In one Of the little streets run.
ming from Broad, lives on Irish family rather
remarkable for their warIike propensites.
While at Breakfast, the daughter and son,
both grown up, got qunrreling, and the
daughter threw q cup of coffee in the bro
theirs face. He retorted with the nearest
missile at hand. The mother took the side
of the daughter; the father that of the son
and in a moment the fun-lke Tam
O'Shanter's witches-became 'fast and (u
rious.' The neighbors, Qrish generally
hearing the row, rushed to stop the fight, and
in few moments the fracas culminated by
the father stabbing his wife with carving
knife. By this time the police came in and
arrested the whole party, including an inno-
cent, ignorant bog trotter, who had been
calmly standing in the door, looking on with
open mouthed wonder. His arrest frighten.
ed him terribly, and the assurance of the
officers that they only wanted him for wit
ness, could not remove his agitation. The
whole party we're taken to the Office of an
alderman, and the case was brought up for
hearing. Said the alderman to the wit.
ness
What is your name!
Barney Dugun, yer honor
"Well, Barney, tell what you know about
this case.'
Il will, yer honor. This mornin' was
taken my bite with Molly CHATS the ouId
woman, yer honor)-when heard a divil
Nv row over at Tins. ran to the door,
sur, and there | saw the daughter hev the
brather was slather'n. her with O loaf Nv
bread, when the mother, she interfered, and
the ould man Civ her wipe with the coffee.
pot, knockin' her back from the table, when
she grasped holt Nv the skillet an broke it
over his head-an' the old man then grasped
the carvin' knife from the table an struck
her in the stumik an that's oil | know
about it yer honor
'Will you swear to this, Barney, asked
the Alderman.
'Sure, l will, sur. How shall l cwear
sure =
'Why, kiss the book-the Bible; that ia
the only kind of swearing we permit here.
'An' is it the good book that must kiss
| I'll do that same, sure; but would yer homo:
jst unite that bit of string, that may see
if it is the good book, indade!'
THAT is hardly necessary replied the al.
derman. Il give you my word that the book
is the Bible, and that ought to satisfy you,
think. .-a, l.
Sure it does, sur, but I'D be better salts.
fed if saw it wild me two eyes Tor meself.'
well, stand back for the present, until
we see what the other witnesses have to
say ..
Barney took seat on the bench, and the
case progressed to a conclusion. II was
clear that the woman had been stabbed in
the row, but none of the witnesses swore
that they saw her stabbed, except Barney.
He was, therefore, again called up by the
alderman. ' >f- -'s"'-'' SO hsg
Barney Dugan, you swear positively that
Fl ,laG oai .. ..-sggs3 y