The Placer herald. [volume] (Auburn, Placer County, Calif.) 1855-1991, 1861-06-29
Dossticks eats Opium. How he Felt.

Dossticks eats Opium. How he Felt.
Doeslcks took dose of opium the other
day. he says:
The bssful effects began to come along
in the course of half AN hour. First WAS
ri.h had twenty thousand dollars in bank
had Il good many valuable houses in the
city; owned half the New York Central
Railroad and had so much prairie la d in
MICHIGAN Wisconsin aud Minnesota that
couldn't run from one end of it to the other
in two days, on lightning express train.
Then | had wife, IN fact two wives-and
in twenty minutes had twenty wives-alI
beautiful, accomplished and affectionate
Then | was hero, just returned from war,
alter killing eighteen thousand men, and
was receiving due honors. Then the Sun
dag Mercury had raised my salary to three
hundred de HAIRS week. and just sent in
their check for five weeks back salary. Then
had more ives-thirty more handsomer
than the first ones, and richer. Then | was
a patriot had just returned from Wash
ineton after assaSsina'ing JAS. Buchanan, and
was receiving the 'landits of grateful Ma
ton therefor. Then somebody had died
anu ItlL 'lIO '''O I''IS''N' '''' ''''' d"
charitable benefactor and was relieving all
the wants of the poor folks in the city,
giving every man three barrels of potatoes,
and u red cart and gray lackass TO drag
them home for him.
Then the Sunday Mercury had raised my
salary to a thousand dollars week, and was
paving me three months salary in advance.
Then | was hero again--of another varie
ty this time; had just saved thousand
lives or so, and the city was in delight
about me. Then had more wives-loveli
er then before and rcher-each one with
her pockets full of seed pearls, and three
pecks of diamonds stitched into hr petit
coats. Then | was a king and bossing
every body and everything to my hearts con
tent, and theirs Then all my wives had
large families that hadn't seen before-a|l
BOYS all soldiers and all generals: then they
were all politicians, and all Presidents of
Republics; then they were all Editors; then
all Merchants: then all Clergymen and all
Beechers; but whatever they were, was the
father of them all, and they numbered
hundred, then thousand. then ten thous
and. Then the Sunday Mercury had raised
INV salary. ~ WAS ION lWCu'N lINC tuOuSoH'
dollars week-sta,ionery f ind and gas
bills pad for me-and the proprie,ors had
Just sent mo round two years pay in advance
in gold, and sixty draymen were dumping 1t
into the cole hole by the cart load.
Then began to be more exravagant, and
undergo various metamorphoses First |
was a freezer of vanilla ice cream, then
was a gold fish, then was a new baby, with
husband interested, and enthusiastic rea
ton: then was Christmas; then | was
balloon bound straight for the moon, and
with gas enough to carry me there, and with
letters of introduction to the man of that
interesting planet; then was sixteen
round trout, and Barnum had bought me
for thousand dollars; then was clipper
ship, the pride of the country; then | was
Pages Venus; then | was canary bird,
with five extra notes to my palate; then
became a flying fish; then became shark
and swallowed the flying fish had just been;
| changed into sailor, and speared the
shark that was a minute before; then
became the boatswain, and logged the sail
or who had speared me when ] shark;
then was slung shot, and caved the head
of the boa,swain who logged me; then |
was a D iceman who melted down the slug
shot: then was a Police Commissioner;
then became the people, and elected new
Commissioner; then, as the people got my.
self into an election riot; then changed
INTO the military, and arti|leryed myself as
the people, and bayoneted myself as the PEG
and charged on myself, and dispersed myself;
then was suddenly metamorPhosed into a