Columbia Democrat and Bloomsburg general advertiser. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1850-1866, 1861-10-12

kaSSum.
sent up my kccrd to the Prints, and
was immejitly ushered before him. lie
received me kindly and axed me to sit
down.
IL hav cum to pay my rcspecks to you,
Mister Napoleon, hopin See you hale and
harty."
81 am quite WE'LL" he sed. "Air you
we'll, sir ~
"Sound as a cuss y I anscrcd.
He seemed to be pleased with my wavs,
and he entered into conversation at onct
"How's Lewis ?" 1 axod, and he scd
the Emperor was we'll Eugony was like
wise well, he sed. Then axed him was
Lewis q good provider? did he cum home
early mites? did he perfoom her bed room
at a unreasonable hour with gin and tanzy?
Did he go to the "Lodge" on mites when
there wasn't any Lodge? Did he often
hav to 60 down town to meet friend
did he hav a extensiv acquaintance among
poor young widers, whose husbans was in
Californp? to all of which questions the
Prints perlitely replide, givin me to under.
stan that the Emperor was behavin well.
~ AK these questions, my royal duke
and most noble highncss and imperials, be.
kaws I'm ANXIOUS to know how he stands
as man. l know he's smart. lie is
cunnin, he is long. .heded, he is deep-he
is CRATE. But onless he is good he'll come
down with crash one of these days and
the Bonyparts will be Busted up agin,-
Bet your life 2"
"Air you a preacher, sir!' he inquired,
slitely sarkastical,
"No, sir. But bleevc in morality. 1
likewise bleeve in Meetin Houses. Show
me place where there ism t any Meetn
Houses and where preachers is never seen
and Ill show you a place where old hats
air s. nffcd into proken winders, where the
children air dirty and ragged, where gates
hav no hinges, where the wimin air S ip-
shod, and whore maps of the devils "wild
land air painted upon mens shirt. bosoms
with toblcco ,jooce That 5 what I'll show
you. Let us consider what the preachers
do for us before we aboose EN-"
He sed he did mean to aboosse the
clergy. Not at all, and he was happy to
see that | was interested ip the Bonypart
family,
otis CRATE family" sed I. 'But
they scoped the old man in."
How, sir :"
"Napoleon the Grand. The Britishcrs
scoped him at Wuterloo. He wanted to
do 100 much, and he did it They SCOOP
ed him in at Wuterloo, and he subsekeut-
ly died at ST. Helcny! There's where
the gratest military man this world ever
produced, peggcd out 1t was rather hard
to consine such man as him to st. llele.
ny, to spend his larst days in catchin mac
keril, and walkin up and down the dreary
beach in military cloak drawn titely
round him, (sce picter books,) but so it
was, "Hcd of the ARMY Them was
his last words. So he had been. He was
CRATE Don't wish we had pair of his
old boots to command sum of our Bri-
gadcs !"
This pleased jerome and he took me
warmly by the hand.
"Alexander the Crate was punkins," l
continnered but Napoleon was punkinser !!
Alic wept bekaws there was no more worlds
to scoop, and then took to drinking. He
drowndid his sorrers in the howin bole,
and the fowin bole was TO much for him.
1t ginrally is. He undertook to give a
snake exhibition in his boots, but it killed
him, That was a bad joke for Alic,
"Sinco you are SO solicitous about
France, and the Emperor, may | ask you
how your own country is getting along ~
sed Jerome in pleasant voice.
"It's Mixed" sed, "But | think we
shall come out all right
"Columbus when he diskivered this
magnificent continent, could have had no
idce of the grandeur it would one day as,
soom,' sed the Prints.
at cost Columbus twenty thousand dol
lars to fit out his explorin expedition" sed
|. IF he had bin a sensible man he'd
hay put the money in hoss raj road or a
gas company, and left this magnificent
continent to the intelligent savages, who
when they got hold of good thing knew
enuff to keep it, and wouldn' hav seeded,
nor rebelled, nor knoct Liberty in the he'd
with a SlungshOt Columbus wasn't much
IA 4