The weekly mountain Democrat. [volume] (Placerville, El Dorado County, Calif.) 1861-1862, 1861-11-30


The following classification Of newspa.
Der subscribers, is from the Prairie Far
mer, and, from our own experience, We
can say that the picture is drawn Ito the
life." First come the
UPRIGHTs.-These are men who take
newspapers, pay for and read them. Oh
serve the order in which things are done /:
The pay COMES first, the reading next
These men consider they get the worth Of
their money in the bargain. Il seems
Just rs fair to them that the newspaper
should be paid for as barrel Of sugar, or
. new coat They never entertain any
other opinion. When the year runs out,
they are on hand with the pay. There is
no more difficulty with them in remem.
boring this period than Sunday or the
first day Of January. If one Of them
wishes to stop his paper, he either calls,
or writes letter by his postmaster, in
due season, like . man. This class IL
dear to the heart Of the editor. Their
image is embalmed in his warm affections.
May they live thousand years, and see
their sons to the fourth generation. The
second class now in mind is the
DO WELLS-fhis Glass is nearly related
to the other SO nearly, that it is hard to
tell where one begins and the other ends.
These men always pay in advance, in the
beginning. and intend to do 10 continual
y. But memory fails . little, or anne
mishap intervenes and the tune runs by
sometimes little-sOmetimes quite q
period. But their recollection, though
nOddiDg occasionally, never gets sound
asleep. It prOnOunces the words in due
time-''thc printer is not paid, and forth.
with their will to do we'll is kindled into
activity. Now comes the paying up
meant to do 20 before" A publisher
can live with such men. They have q
warm place IN his DemOry-Only little
back Of the Uprights. If such a man
dies in arrears, his widow or son remem'
bers that part Of the benefit was theirs,
and estate or no estate, see that the prin.
ter is paid. Now come the
EASY GOERs.-These men believe in
newspapers. They have determined in
their own minds that q newspaper is 9
good thing. They take them too. Some
times they pay up for the first year-at
any rate, they mean to, pretty som. i
they have done SO, they sit down with the
comforting conviction that their newspa'
paper is settled for; and this idea having
once got into their heads, obStinately re-
fuses to be dislOdged, but it holds from
year to year, . truth once, now en- illu-
sion, gray and rheumatic with years.
The editor thinking upon the elongated
and elOngating space In the accounts cur
rent Of their dollars, begins to ask if they
are dead or gone to California. Now he
begins to poke bills at them. They sud
denly wake up to the reality that they
are in arrears; and. like men, a. they q, q
at the bottom, they know books tell bet
ter stories than most memories. If the
publisher has faith enough or a long purse
he may survive them; but il he is NOR
tai, voc be to him. The next class, is thai
OF the
Down HILLERs.-.Here VIC begin t.
slide over to the other side. The picture
suddenly grows sombre. We shall dis
patch the Down Killers suddenly. One
Of these may take n paper because his
wife wants it. or the children are anxiOu:
to read il, or . neighbor persuades him
When it begins to come, he dismisses all
thoughts about il further. If the editor
sends man directly to him at the end o.
two or three years, lie may get some pay
for his paper, but with growls and surly
looks. lie never pays any debt il he car
get rid Of il, and for a newspaper least Of
oil. Still he hates lawsuits and eOnsta
bles and all that. A. dun has the same
effect on him that bullet produces on q
hippopotamus--glancing from his side. OF
sinking into his blubber harmless. He il
always sliding down hill. and soon emer.
ges into another class-that Of the
Nix CoNE RousE-No matter how the
man begins his subscription, he never
pays for it--not he. He don't like that
sort Of paper. II don't give no news
He never did want it. lie only took it to
encourage the printer, and told the post.
master So. He sen, back one more than
o year ago; besides, he never began to
take 1t ill long tune after it came, and
he hadn't had only two or three of them,
at any rate, and those he hadn't read. y
Wipe him off! Here comes the
ScAPE GRACE.-It il enough to say Of
him that he never fails to have n newspa.
per, two or three of them. When he
thinks they have come long enough for
the publisher to want pay, he sends word
to "StOp it," or leaves for parts unknown.
He does not want to pay, and he don't
mean to. Get it it you can. Enough for
him.
Reader, to which class do you belong