Raftsman's journal. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1854-1948, 1861-05-08
A FLEET MARRIAGE.

FLEET MARRIAGE.
Lady G. was beautiful woman, but Lady G.
was an extravagant woman. She was still sim
gle, although rather past extreme youth.
Like most pretty females, she had looked too
high, and estimated her own loveliness too
dearly, and now she refused to believe that
she was not as charming as ever. So, no won
der she still remained unmarried.
Lady &. had about five thousand pounds in
the world. She owed about forty thousand
pounds; SO, with all her wit and beauty, she
got into the Fleet, and was likely to remain
there.
!, Now in the time speak of, every lady had
her head dressed by a barber; and the barber
of the Fleet was the bandsomest barber in the
city of London. Pat Phlan was great ad-
mirei of the fair sex; and where's the wonder I!
Sure Pat was an Irishman. 1t was one very
tine morning, when Philan was dressing her
captivating head, that her ladyship took it in
to her mind to talk to him, and Pat was well
pleased, for Lady C's. teeth were the whitest.
and her smiles the brightest in all the world.
$50 you are not married, Pat,'' said she.
"Niver an inch! your honor's lady ship,''
says he
sand wouldn't you like to be married ~
again asked she.
ssWonld duck swim 20
SIS there any one you'd prefer ?"
sMaybe, madam, - said he.ssyou niver heard
of Kathleen O'Reily, down beyond Donerail
Her fathers cousin TO O'Donaghow, who's
own steward to Mr.. Murphy, the under agent
TO my Lord Kingston. and"-
s.Hush!'' says she sssure don't want to
know who she is. But would she have you if
you asked her 2''
ssAh, thin, I'D only wish to he after trying
that same"
sAnd why don't you %
s.Sure, I'm too poor" And Pat heaved
a prodigious sigh.
Would you like to be richl"
sDoes dog bark7"
..If make you rich will you do as tell
your"
"Mille murther! your honor, don't be tan
talizing poor boy!"
Indeed l am not" said Lady C. $50
listen. How would you like to marry me ?''
"Ah, thin, my lady, believe the King of
Russia himself would be proud to do that
same leave alone poor devil like Pat Philan.'
.Well, Pat, if you'll marry me to- orrow.
I'll give you one thousand pounds.''
80, whilabaloo! whlabaloo sure I'm mad,
or enchanted by the good people, }" roared Pat,
dancing round the room.
ssBut there are conditions" says Lady C.
"After eur nuptials, you must never see me
again, nor claim me as your wife,"
81 don't like that said Pat, for he had
been ogling her ladyshIp most desperately.
s.But remember Kathleen O'Reily. With
the inouey Si'0 you' ~" may ~ 'no manly
s.That's thrue,' says he, sbut thin the big
amy ~
ssI'll never appear against you," says her
ladyship. "Only remember you must take an
oath never to call me your wife after to-mor-
rev. and never to go telling all the story
"Never word I'll liver say.''
ssWell them" says she, ssthere's ten pounds.
Go and buy license, and leave the rest to
me - and then she explained to him where
he was to go and when he was to come, and
all that.
The next day Pat was true to his appoint
ment. and found two gentlemen already with
her ladyship.
s.Have you got the license ?'' says she.
ssHere it is my lady," says he and he gave
it to her. She handed it to one of the gentle
men who examined it attentvey. Then call
ing in her two servants, she turned to the gen.
tleman who reading. And sure enough,
in ten minutes Pat Philan was the husband,
the legal husband OF the lovely Lady G.
s'That will do,'' says she to her husband as
he gave her hearty kiss ssthat'll do" ssNow
sir, give me my marriage certificate" The
old gentleman did SO, and bowling respectfully
to the five pound note she gave him, he retir-
ed with his clerk for sure enough, forgot to
tell You that he was parson.
.sGo and bring me a warden,'' says my lady
TO one of her servants.
"les my lady," and presently the warden
appeared.
'Will you be good enough" said Lady G.
IN voice that would call bird off tree,
"will you be good enough to send and fetch
me hackney coach? wish to leave this
prison Immediately"
'four ladyship must pay forty thousand
pounds before can let you CO."
81 am married woman. You can detain
my husband but not me-" And she smiled at
Philan, who began rather to dislike the APP
pearance of things.
"Pardon me, my lady, it is we'll known you
are single''
81 tell you am married.
wv here's your husband ~
There SIR" aud she pointed to the aston
ished barber. eThere he stands. Here is my
marriage certificate, which you can peruse at
your leisure. My servants yonder were wit
hesses of the ceremony. Now detain me at
Your peril.''
The warden was dumbfounded, and no won-
uet. Poor Philan would have spoken but
neither party would let him. The lawyer was
consulted. The result was evident. In half
ah nour Lady G. was free, and Pat Philan, her
a.etimate husband, prisoner for debt to the
a;mount a.; of forty thousand pounds. For some
eine rat thought he was in dream, and the
savaltors savltors thought they we're still worse. The
ibvnowlng day they had meeting, and finding
~" they had been tricked, swore they'd de-