Holmes County farmer. [volume] (Millersburg, Ohio) 1857-1926, 1861-04-04
o yes, do, said several voices.


No, you'll have enough without--you
are to get the cream of the story yet.
She kept me up quite late, say two
O'Clock, and in spite of the novelty (it be.
ing the first) l got sleepy. Now the
Squire had just come to them parts, and
put up one-story, one.room log cabin
and as all the family, 'cept some OF the
young 'uns. slept below, I was little
bashful bout goin' to bed there, but wa,
three miles from home, and it rainin
like blue bazes; had to do it and die
it without exposin' the blanks in my lin.
en-. resolved to be up in the morning
on the same account and some others.
This was the last knowed till 'walScn
ed by the hounds, half dozen of which
slept under my bed, pullin' the kivers of
me. Holy Jupiter! the sun two hours
high-breakfast on the table and me bed
Just as l was goin' to spring out, in pop,
the old woman with plate of venison
1t was dog. you know and she cookt
in q shanty. I possumed sleep till she
went out agin, and then looked for my
trowses--thar they was in the jars of the
pups at the foot of the bed! l made O
mighty lunge over the foot-board to re.
take 'em but, oh horrors, my head down
and heels up! What's the matter thinks
| but it flashes across me in moment
that the holes in my linen was over the
post, and tall one too! | kicked and
aoundered and hounced, but all to no pur.
pose-I could not get down, l strained
to break the hemp, but it was no co.
just now all the hounds commenced vel.
lin so furiously that the old woman and
gals come runnin' in to see what was up,
and when seed it me they run out again.
One began to holler for the Squire, while
the Others, through the cracks, with fish
in poles, battled the cussed hounds that
was wooden me.
l Thought Of Absolam, and every body
else that ever did hang with the hair of the
head, a consolation | hadn't! I'd Gust
my fate like Boston, but l remembered |
belonged to meeting, and it was agin tho
rules. | did, however, think some mighty
hard words. if l didn't speak 'em. But
that didn't do any good, could not
make anything by pullin' down ards, and
so thought I'd climb the post and loose
myself that way. l had nearly succeeded
when one of the unmannerly pups attack
ed me in the rear, and losin' my holt |
fell in knot-decidedly peelin' offand /
come out full length on the floor, in pre-
cisel y the same fix Job said he came into
the world!
The next mint was under the bed =,
where the everlasting pups had dragged
my trowsers. cuff 'em olf--time put
one leg on, the internal whelps would pull
tother off. l worried that way some time
when puncheon gave way and | fell
through into q trough of soap under the
house.
Gosh! l thought 1 was in the pit that
was bottomless. l sprang for life, but in
doing this threw myself into the face
and stomach of Squire Crumpton. who
was coming on run 'spectin' the In
dians was massacreen the whole family
The collision threw him down the hill
and followed suit, heels over head to the
bottom. Here l recovered my under.
standings, and without any apologies or
even word, struck bee line for home
just as was in my native purity, at a
speed that split the lightning, my toe
nails striking fire out er the nints at ev,
cry jump.
But, boys, never went within a quar-.
ter of mile of Squire Crumpton's after
wards-nor did | ever cast sheep eyes at
Betsey again, let alone gallantin' hel
home.