The south-western. [volume] (Shreveport, La.) 1852-1870, 1861-04-10
The Nashville Banner relates the following:


A worthy friend from the farming districts who oc
casionly drops in upon ls to get The latest news
rates the annexed "A traveller passing through his
neighborhood on horseback, stopped in a modest cot
tage the roadside ard asked for shelter as it was
quite dark and raining. The head Of the family came
to the door and accosted the traveller with
"What do you want?'
81 want to stay all night" was the reply
"What are yet?'
This interr0gatory was not fully understood BY the
traveller, and he asked ala explanation.
Il mean what's yer politics." rti0ined the former.
''Air yer far the Union or agin it?'
This was poser, of The traveller not certain
whether 1.-THE man of the house" was Union man or a
secessionist and he anxious to 'tie up" for the
nighI-so he made up his mind and said my friend,
! am for the Union and consti-n
stranger y-e-o-ukin kun inl
1t is needless to add that the traveller dsmounted
and both man and beast were Hospitality taken care
for the night
Hearing q complain that political papers Of gil
kinds had become such liars that he did believe any
of them reminds us of the miller and his three sons.
Coming into the mill and finding the grist in the hop
per, the old man cried ont:
Tom have you tolled the grist?"
Yes sir"
Bill, have you tolled this grst?
'Yes sir"
'You are pack of lying scoundfcls," says the old
man II don't believe word you aRv-Il toll il my
self"
woman gives notice that she I'll willing to take
respectable baby to nurse There are babies then
that are not respectable Poor little things! are not
respectable Poor little thing! and not worthy of re-
spect-not to be respected! We have heard OF people
who were born with gold spoons in their mouths; we
have seen bibles who from their FIRST, surround
ed with every luxury and have those also who
born without any spoons az all in their mouths
any worldly goods to speak of but never struck
us before that any sort ct babies diSrepuablc
as we see they must be, from the advertisement.
pious young elder in a Stockton California church
recently passed around the collecting plate and wish
ing to set the congregation good example, he first
dropped the platter What he supposed to be piece
Of money As he moved up the aisle all the young
ladies Uttered, to his great discontinue. On return
lug to the altar, he found that instead OF piece of
money he had placed Oh the plate ozenge, the words
on which "Wil You marry mc?' had stared
everybody in the face Il is needless to add that the
Young man is bachelor
The Scotch are addicted to metaplysicN and JOKES
Here is one of Rlmsays anecdotes, A couutrvna
having business with the late duke Of Hamilton at Ham
ilton palace invited BIZ his grace to take lunch with
him While sitting at the table livered servant was
most assiduous to the duke and his guest At last the
countrymqn lost patience and looking at the busting
waiter addressed him thus: What the devil forarc We
dancing ABBOTT the room that gait? Can We no
draw in your chair an sit doom? I'm there plcn
ty on table for three"
The velvet grows On a sterile rock the miste-
toe ourishes on the naked branches the ivy cings to
the Wondering vines the pine and cedar remains fresh
and fadcess amid the mutations Of the recedng year.
and heaven be praised something beautiful to and
grateful to the SOUL will m the darkest hour of fate
still Irvine its tendris around the crumbng affairs and
broken arches Of the dcsqlate temples Of the human
heart.
An Irishman who was standing On London bridge, |
accosted youth standing beside him, saying:
Faith think know yer; what's yer name:"
my names is Jones /" replied the youth.
Jones Jones'" said tile freshman; II knew two
ould maids by that il Dublin, either Of them
yer mothersn
The boy who imagined himself wise because he de-
tected some typographical errors IN newspaper has
gone off to ret perpendicular view of the rainbow.
There pedagogues, who spell most of the
words of one and two sylabcs without referring to
dictionary equally gifted as the 10y alluded to
patent medicine vendor proposes 10 feed the blood
with a combination of iron. phosphorus and sulphur
After course of this pYrotechnic compound, slight
friction with sandpaper would probably set person
off into the sky like a rocket.
Take a bundle of rye straw four pounds of ribbon
some black paint and feather and soak them well;
then stir them up with quill, and this through
kettle Of prepared glue, and then you will have of
the latest styles Of winter hats.
A lady having written letter, concluded il as fol
lows: "Give eYerybodys love TO everybody, so that
nobody may be aggrieTed BY ANYBODY being forgotten
BY somebody"
It is not what we earn but what We save that makes
Is rich 1t is not what we eat, but what we digest
hat makes us fat. It is not what VIC read but what
We remember that makes us wise
For the benefit Of the fair sex clip the following
rom an exchange that they may be enabled to manu-
acture their own hats, since homemade articles are
II the ego" just now:
A Young man who has recently takes wife, sayshe
HI not find it half hard to get married he did to
ct the furniture
An Irish paper announces, that NJ. henn return
~ to town fell down and broke his neck, but happily
aceived no further damage
Night brings out stars, as sorrow shows US truth
" Sever see the stars till VIC can little naught
lac and thus If is with truth