The Council Bluffs nonpareil. [volume] (Council Bluffs [Iowa]) 1857-1867, 1861-12-21


tie xorli.
60 ssens' ras ask 81 sha. kind Of
sgav be preferred for a wife, One, said De,
thai wasu's prodi-q bu. fru-gIi, true.
gal, and suited 70 my conjs gal Taste.
rFaI plsdg. yoa ny sord," said
Bsosn. .-So, doa's do that.o retnrted
Jones, a.sr 'pGUa your honor'-t VIII be
as;.e ss1ess.it.n
rTwkiie we are reasoning concerning
like. life is gone !; and death, though per-
h.os sasT receive him diEesessly, yes treats
alice the fool and the pbilosophsr.-Hsnie
~ A rhY.ieian slapped Il the shop Of
c1un,.s spotEecary, and Inquired tor
charmacorarta sSn," said sae sposhscs.
~. know 81 10 such farmer liTins about
thes, parts"
~Ma wedding, tie other day, one Of
the guests, who il sometimes . little abssns-
ninJed, observed graveiy,'.I have rsnsrked
that there have been more uoneo than
asn married this year"
- A man in Michigan, not long sisce,
con ui.,ed suicide BY drowning. A. sSe
body eoaii not be found, the coroner held
40 in1u.ss 90 bis has and isckst, found on
the bank Of the lake. yerdict-'Found
empty"
rT- ssYou los. two legs 10 the army, you
say what did you gain by i. Z" asked y
gentleman u q peusioner. "singls bless
sinsss, sir," be replied, s. for after that
no woman would marry me-"
eT The names CT the ehsrchwardsns CT
parish in Bristol, Eszlani, are Duck and
Drake, the bell-ringsr's name is Chick, and
the two sections bear the sppeIlatlons Of
Pain and Fear.
GA fashionable barouet has said,
with no less feeling than high moral sense.
"Hsppy, thrice happy, the man who has the
means 70 keep servant 70 stretch bis tight
boo.s before be wears them himself |"
GA subscriber to moral reform %.
per called At the post. Office the other day,
snd inouissd il the "frisod Of Virtue" bad
como. "No," replied the poss master,
"thsss has been no ssAh person hsss N
long tina"
Trhey say that woman caused man to
commit bis frs, sin. But, il she hain't in
duced him to sin 10 eating, no doubt he
would very soon have sinned Of bis own
accord 10 drinking.
rT-Thsy say no one Is hero to his ralet
de ehambfe. The reason 10 that heroes can
be appreciated by heroes only. The raIef
will probably know how to estimate those
of hrs own class.
Cyan expression is reported as having
been used by the Emperor Napoleon wnen
pre- ,ssd about tho Roman question: s'llave
patience, It 10 q rape pear which will fal; Of
itsef."
DCaln and ssrougsoul! much may DO
done ~ human hong Tith'a pure will, ard
amid a Gus. life. Be, wisb certain deeper
changes in that isner life, ans fee many .
stormy soul, an outward change AZ almost
= necessary means OF an inward renovation.
GA housemad Who was sentto call
rs1llem an to dinner n ouud A,a. engaged in
'u.,ps his tooth brush. "Weil, is he com.
ing I" said the lady Of the house, IS the
servant entered. ayes. tms'an, directly,
was tho reply, she's just sharpening bid
teeth"
sTwhen young lady is caught in
shower, and accepts part OF handsome
gsntleman's umbrella, il is worry provoking
to pass door way where Alfred IS taking
shelter and very unreasonable OF him TO
be salsy for a month afIerward.
eyWe have all, sincs the days Of Shake
speare, implicitly believed THAI eve know
not what We may be - bat modern chemis-
try has proved, pretty satisfactorily to US
and more especially to the iadics--that We
are sometimes rather uncertain a. to what
We trear.
eTAsa training, down cast, after m
order waa given to ''resurn ramrods," one
of the soldiers broke from the line, and WAS
ia. full split. "Hs!lo !" bauled the com.
Inander, "whsre are ytu going 2" SHOWN
70 Squire Muggins's, TO return the rsmrod
borrowed Of him. You said Return
ramrods.'"
cTPoor John Bull mustn't be blamed
or ridicuied il he does look little shabby
and eccentric on the BoulevarNs Of Paris,
and elsewhere, NJ il is very we'll known that
m Eogishmsn always puts on his bad hab-
lis The moment be goes abroad.
frJ-"I say, Mr.. Pilot, ain. you going to
starE soon 20 saii cockney on board a
steamer lYing.tn during fog. AS soon
as the fog clears up" replied the captain.
swell. it's starlight overhead now" said
the g1ckuey. "Uh. yes," replied the cap
tan, ''bu. we are no. saing sha. way"
cT'A vcnder Of hoop skirts was recently
exso.Eins bis wares in the presence of q Gus.
TONER'S husband. "N1 lady should be
without one Of these skirts" said the shop
man. swell, Of course not" dryly re-
spondsd the husband, who was something
Of was, .'she should be rithin it,"
ga young lady who wore speosacles,
exelaimad in voice Of enthusiasm. to .
plosman. who was walking 90 the road
"Ds you, sir. appreciate the beauty OF that
laodseape9 oh, see those darling sheep
and lambs skipping about ~ "Them aia's
sheep asd lAnbs-them's hogs, .iss."
E."waa,. the matter, ny dear ,"
saked . wife Of her husband. Who had eat
half % hear wish his face buried IN his
hands, apparently in great nihulasion.--
.oh, I den't know I've fe,t ike fool all
day." aWell." resarnsd the wife, sonso!-
ingIv, am afraid You'll never be any bet
,sr-yoa lock the picture Of What you fes!.'
e1~"Nsw. nv dears," said the father Of
q family, a. they entered the cars, "les me
see we've got the sandwiches and the
sherry, aai the railway tickets, AMI the 10.
suraaee tickets, ia case OF q collision, so
that ia great comfort to rsaecs, 10 case
of auy,h;n, serious" The rest OF the
srsech Is les, in the shrek Of the railway
engine.
e-uue Of our 'airds, Who shall be
uamslses, had occasion lately, 10 the course
of business, 10 pat into the hands Of bis law
a-ea. . small sum Of money. The writer
catered the money in his cash.boet. aud
VA. proceeding 10 give receipt, when the
laird thus addressed bin .Nos, NJ. So-
and-sa, IL. needless for yee to be At the
trouble o. urisia' . receipt % shas BAT q
paper, aa' ssickia' . peoay STAN? ant