Cleveland morning leader. [volume] (Cleveland [Ohio]) 1854-1865, 1861-01-05
LEADER.
Tie Lady in the Coach.

/ tNnside or out ma am = asked the coach
maj Is he stood ciYilly with the door in biz
had.
tIfyou please, III try IN 6rsL,D answered
the eEoman, poking in an uEibrella before
her.and then q pair Of pattehs, "rm not
use TO coaching, and don't think eoald
keeS myself on the top"
d she came, and AFTER some houndering,
hatng frst tried two geRaemens laps, she
found herself in the centre Of the front sest
/ Wirre she composed herself, with something
Of be air Of a Catherine Hayes getting into
n seige for trip 70 Tyburn. Except for
be- fear, which literally made fright Of her,
/ hould have called her q pretty-loOking
wcnan but the faces she pulled were hor-
riae. As the cad enclosed her luggage in
ID hind boot With q smart slam, her features
underwent an actual spGsmi and heard her
Whisper 70 herself Something broke =
! As she spoke thus, she started on her feet
| aid the horses doing the same thing at the
sane moment, the timid female found herself
Suddenly h~gging the Strange gentleman op-
psIte for which sac excused herself by say
| ng I" she wasn't accustomed to be 50 carried
way"
Down she pumped again in her old place,
lut her physicgomy didn't improve. SIZE
.eemed in torture, as if broken, not upon one
Wheel, but upon four. Her eyes rolled, her
eyebrows worked up and down, as il trying
70 pump out tears that wouldn't come-her
lips kept going ike a rabbits, though she had
nothing to eat and / fancied could hear her
grinding her teeth. Her hands, meanwhile,
conYulsively grasped bundle on her lap,
till something like orange juice squeezed out
between her fingers, When the coach went
on one side, she clutched the arm Of which
ever other neighbors sat highest, and ct a
pinch she laid hold of both. At last she sud
denly turned pale, and somewhat hastily
suggested that she perhaps did not prefer to
ride backwards.
Gifts all the same to you sir, | should
really be glad TO change seats"
The removal was effected, not without some
difficulty, for she contrived 70 tread on all our
feet, and hang on all cur neeks, before she
could subside. It was managed, however
and there we sat again, Vis Vis, if such
phrase may be used where one vissge was
opposed to Yisages innumerable; tor if her
face was her fortune she screwed as much
out oft as she could. She hardly needed
to speak, but she did so after short interval.
g hope you'll excuse, but can't ride for
rards neither"
'The sir's what you want, ma'am, said a
stout gentleman in the corner.
q Yes, think that IDOuld revive me" said
the female, with what the musicians called
veiled voice, through her handkerchief.
"Let the lady out ~ squealed little man,
who sat on her left, whilst stout gentlemen
on her light, after looking in vain for a check
striag, gave pull ut the corner Of the skirt Of
the great-cOat thathung over the window, al
most pulling the owner of the roof The
chronome,er stopped.
ats the lady" SAID the little man to the
coachman, as the latter appeared at the door;
she wants to be inside out"
+" It's as the gentleman says, added the te-
male; / amt quite myself, but don't want
to affect the fare You shan't be any loser,
for I'll discharge in full"
"There's the whole dicky, now, to your
self, ma am, said the coachmen, with some
thing like wink, and after some seufhing
and serambling, We felt her seating herself on
the backgammon board, y as if she never
meant to be taken up.
alt seems uEganant," said the little man,
as we got into motion again; "but I think
women oughtn't to travel, particularly in
what are called short stages for they're GER
sain to make them long ones. First Of all
they have beeu told to make sure OF the right
coach, and they spell tall over, from Horne
& Co., and licensed to carry TO number
nine thousand fourteen hundred and nine
Then they never believe the cads. If one
cries Hackney they say that means Cam
berweIl, and I've had enough Of getting into
wrong stages. Then they have 10 ascertain if
il the first coach, and when it will start
exactly and when they sure Of both points,
they're to be hunted for in a pastry-cooks
shop, and out of that into a fruiterer's. At
last Won think you have 'em-but no such
thing. All the luggageis to be put in under
their own eyes-there's a wrangle, Of course,
about that-and when they're all ready, with
one foot on the step, they've been told to
make their bargain with the coachman before
. NV own mother to a T." exclaimed the
fat man; "she agreed with hy-man, at
Brighton to convey her to the Devils Dyke
tor twelrs shillings; but when it came to set
ing OF she ciS1Idn't resist the spirit Of hag-
Cling. Saws she 'Whatn you take me to the
Devil for. witbont tb,> Dyke7"
A loud scream interrupt ID any further illus
tration Of female travelling, ana agaln tne
ehronomeser stopped, losing at II, : IaLe ol zen
miles an hour. We all had q shire va suee7
at the cause, but the little man, nevertL 'eiess,
thought proper to pop his little head out o.
the window, and inquire with q big voice,
" What the plague we were stopping for2"
'Its the LADY agin, sir, said the coach
man, in q dissatisfied tone. 81 She says the
dicky shakes so, she's sureit viii come of;
but it's all right, noW.-Pyego her in front"
sits very WeIlg said the little man g but
if travel with a woman again in stage"
"Poohl pooh consider your own vile
said the stout man women can't be stuck
in garden-pos and lied to sticks; they must
come up to London now and then. She'll
be very comfortable in 'front.'"
Z" wish she may" said the little man,
rather tartly; 4" but it's hard to suit the sex"
and, as if to confirm the sentence, the
coach, after proceeding about mile, came
again to fun stop.
"Hm very sorry, gentlemen said the
cOaehman, with a touch Of bis hat as he
looked in at the window, but she won't do
in front p
"Just like emp muttered the little man,
the devil himself can't please a woman"
Il should think, ? suggested the stout man,
"ifyou were to give her the box seat with
your arm well round her waist"
"No, I've tried that said the coachman,
shaking his bead; q it did pretty well over
the level, but we're coming on hill, and she
can't tace it.
"Set her down at once, bag and baggage"
said the little man; "Ive an appointment
at one
And for my part said a gentlenan IN
black. If there's any delay, give you
legal notice | shall hire chaise at the ex-
pense Of the coach proprietors.p
That's just it curse herr said the per-
picked cOaehman, deliberately taking of his
hat that be might have asciateh at his head;
q she's had her pick, outside and in, back and
front, and its no use, Of course, to propose to