The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1861-02-20
A Satirical Sketch.

has humorous and satirical article or
Washington city, which closes in this
wise D:
The list of the unique prodiges Of
Washington is without limit. But
marvels heaped together cease to be
marvellous, and of ell places in the
world, museum is the most tiresome.
So, amid the whirl and roar of winter
| life in Washington, when one has nc
time to read, write or think, and
scarcely time to eat, drink and sleep,
when the days fly like hours, and the
brain reels under the excitement Of
the protracted debauch, life becomes
an intolerable bore. Yet the place
has an intense fascination fol those
who suffer most acntely from the
tedinm yite, to which every one is
more or less a prey and men and wo
men who have lived 10 Washington
are seldom contented .elsewi ere. The
moths return to the flaming candle
until they are consumed.
In conclusion, it must be admitted,
that Washington is the elysium of cd
dities, the limbo of absurdities an en-
broglio of ludicrous anomilies. Plan
ned on scale Of surprising grandeur,
its architectural execution is almost
contemplate. Blessed with the Lame
of the purest of men, it has the repn-
tation Of Sodom The seat of the law
making power, it is the centre of yio-
lence and disorder, which disturb the
place and harmony of the whole Re-
public-the chosen resort for duelling,
clandestine marriages, and the most
stnpendous, thefts
1t is city without commerce and
without manufactures or rather its
commence is illicit, and its manufac-
|
lures are newspaper correspondents,
who weave tissues Of fiction out of the
warp of rumor and the web of pre7ari-
cation. The site of the United States
Treasury, it is the home Of everything
affiuenee. It's pnblie buildings are
splendid, its private dwellings gener-
ally squalid. The houses are low, the
relts high; the streets are broad, the
crossings narrow the hacks are black,
the horses white ; the squares are tri-
angles, except that Of the capitol,
which is oval; and the water is so
soft that it is hard to drink it, even
with the admixture Of alcohol.
1t has monument that will never
be finished, capitol that is to have a
dome, scientific institute which does
nothing but report the rise and fall of
the Thermometer, and two pieces of
equestrian statuary which it would be
waste of time to criticise. It boasts
streamlet digniied with the name of
the river Tiber, and this streamlet is
Of the size and much the appearance
Of vein in dirty mans arm 1t has
canal, but the canal is a mnd- puddle
during one half of the day, and an
empty ditch the other.
In spite Of the labors Of the Smith
sonian Institute, it has no particular
weather. 1t has the climates Of all
parts of the habitable globe 1t rains,
halls, SHOWS, blows, freezes and melts
in Washington, all in the space of
twenty-four hours After fortnight
of steady rain, the sun shines out and
in calf an hour the streets are filed
with clouds of dust.
Property in Washington is exceed
ingly sensitive, the people alarmingly
callous. The men are Gnel-ooking, the
women homely. The latter have. plain
faces, but magnificent busts aud grace
fnl figures. The former have an i'm
posing presence and an empty pocket,
a great name and small conscience.
Notwithstanding all these impediments
and disadvantages, Washington is
progressing rapidly It is fast becom-
ing large city, but it must always
remain deserted village in the sum-
mer It's destiny is that Of the Union.
1t will be.the greatest capital the world
ever saw, or it viii be parchel place
in the wilderness, a saltland and not
inhabited" and every one that pas
seth thereby shall be astonished and
wag his head. 2
The Prince of Wales made quite a
brilliant entry into Cambridge on the
10Th ultimo, on his way to his College
The bells Of the town were rung, and
flags and banners displayed, within