Holmes County farmer. [volume] (Millersburg, Ohio) 1857-1926, 1861-06-13

would be violated by it. 81
Phil was inclined for a trip to the
Springs, and called upon his friend
"Hal, my dear boy, Pm of for the capes
and Pm trihe short, lend mo q hundred,
will you?" Hal, after a pause, which ap-
parently included a mental examination
of his financial arrangements: "Well Phil
to tell the truth, do not feel disposed,
At present to make any permanent in
vestlnents" aH. ... n- ..Tr""
In the following ambitious passage
from modern love letter to young la
dy, we recognized somewhat peculiar
delcacy of compliment: GLOW wish my
dear Adclia, my engagements would per /,
init me to- leave town aud go to see you!
1t would be like some old ruin, hallowed |
by time and fraught with o thousand
pleasant recollections. '''''
Love is our best gift to our fellow be-
ings, and that which makes any gift va
liable in the sight of heaven. M ."
The mser lives poor to die rich, and
is iailor Of his house and the turkey OF
his wealth. |' .I .s
The light Of friendship is like the light
Of phosphorus--seen plaincSt when al
around is dark. .r""
A man passes for snge II he seeks
for wisdom; if he thinks he has found it,
he is fool
HApPINNss must arise from our own
temper and Sctions. and not in, n,alcdiately
from any external conditions.
a mans nature runs either to herbs or
weeds, therefore let him seasopably water
the one and destroy tho other. ....
A SMALL boy at school, somewhat de-
fcctivo in his upper story, was often ban
tered by one OF his schoolmates calling
him a fool, and obser, eing how strange
it was that his m other should have but
one child, aud that he should be fool;
when the weak boy appeared inspired.
and replied: "Not half so strange that
your mother should have ten children,
and that they should all be fools"
A man behind tho times shauld feed
on ketchup. ....
TO whom is the hatcr of his species in
variably welded? To Miss An'Ihropy.
What letter would make every flower
alike would make all flowers wall.
Ar what point do armies enter hostile
cities? At the point of the bayonet.
WmcH is the best way of retaining n
womans affections? BY not returning
them.
How should love come to the door
Certainly with ring, but not with rap
PATRICK gave his testimony in the riot
case: Be jabcrs, the first man | saw com
ing at me was two brick bats"
Husband, T can't express my detesta-
ton of yonr conduct" "Wcll, dear, I'm
very glad you can't"
MRs. PARTINGroN makes Shakespeare
say "Swcet are the uses of advertisements
It's so if he didn't say it. ~
The editor of paper in Indiana wants
to know if Western whiskcy was over seen
"comin thro' the rye"
THE chap who recently convertedhis hat
into a brickyard has p!ucked tho fea thers
from wing of n house.
A BACHELOR editor who had bretty sis
ter, recently wrote to another bachelor
equally fortunte: "Please exchange"
Ara recent ballin Rocdsburg, Wis. tn
price of tickets was bushel of wheat
The farmers attended in large numbers
A MAN behind the time, should feed on
ketchup. -
WHAT interection is of tho feminine
gender? a-lass .r-- rs. r...
You cannot preserve happy domestic
paris in family jars.
Ira person sells watches, does no be-
co me watchman ?
VINO is the first woman mentioned in
the Bible I? Jenny Sis. +ta
If aporson hold pen in his hand, does
hc becom pen-holder A?
Ir n person has stock in his hand, does
he become stockholdcr?
VINO is a very unpopular officer with
some Of the ladies? General House.
work. ....... ....
WHAT | LIKE To SrE.-I like to see a
woman out in the m orning scraping up
chips to build fire and her husband in
bed; it shows that she thinks moro of him
than she does OF herself.
l like to see mechanics keep their shop
doors and windows closed until tho sun
is an hour high; to show they are indie.
pendent and ask no favors of their custo. !
mers.
like TO see n yonng woman walking !
tho streets on Sunday in her silks, with
holes in her stockings: it shows that they
arc more attentive to things above than
below. |.
like to see men crowding around the
bor-room Monday morning before sunrise
II shows their anxiety to get to q weeks
employment in good season.
like to see women send their butter to
market in a dirty cloth, it shows econo.
my, and it saves washing,
like to sec men pay their debts on the
mack OF an execution, as it saves trouble
hereafter
i like to soc men when they mako mis-
taxes have them always in their favor.