The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1861-08-07
McGREG0R IOWA, WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 7, 1861
T he Crisis.

The Crisis.
Some anonymous gentleman, who ap
pears to have no local habita,ion, has re
Gently in a set speech defined the Crisis
in broad, comprehensive manner. Al
there has been an immense display of spec
ulation on the theme, and inasmuch as it is
one in which we are all vitality interested
we have made haste to spread an accurate
phonog,aphic report Of his remarks before
the readers Of the Times. The person who
fails to understand the "subjcct which an,
agitatin," after one deliberate reading, must
be intellectually poor indeed. The text on
which the discourse turned, was announced
to be "Or Any Other Man." and the speak.
er delivered himself as follows:
"Ahum nm! Feller-C Citizens II have
been called upon this evenin' to appear be.
fore you ior-for that is, have been 1e-
quested to app ar upon thc-the scaffold
this evenin', for the purpose of elucidatin'
to you the-the all -absorbin' subjec' which
am now agitatin' the-the certainly have.
Cheers. Ahum-m-m 7 but to return to
our subjec. AS | was about to remark
previously, beforehand, what's our country
comm to, or any other man? That's what
I'd like to know myself Look at the grea,
congregatcd circumfex of this glorious I'm,
ion. Just look at it. Does anybody see
ity Certainly, that's Just what's the mat.
ter Ahum.m-m But to return to our
Subjec'. Look at our great American eagle,
the glorious emblem of our liberty-just
look at me. Here the speakers voice was
drowned by long-continued shouting and
applause. What are you going to do with
that ere bird or any other man? Look at
him as he as he fits from the cloud capped
summck of the L,cherdee mountains to the
terrific abyss Of the Goshwallackian ave-
nue., an f1utters his tailfyathers, an sez, in
the language of j. Davis, in his 'pistle to
the Egyptians, when he said, root hog, or
die hats what's the matter or any 9TH
cr man. Enthusiastic cheering
"Ahum min! bot to return to our sub.
jec'. Look at our-look at tour-look-at-
our-yes, that's what I'd like to know
Loo kat our newspapers, just Look at 'em
can't pick up one without reading some
thing in it-thats what's the matter. What
did see there9 with empressment) Pro-
visions has riz. What's the consequence I
Coffee and molasses had fight. What's
the consequence again? Molasses got lick
ed and coffee had to settle down on its own
grounds. iApplausc.l That's just what
the mattcr-or any other man. Cheers
"Ahun,- m IN but to return to our SUBJ
jec'. Look at our S ldirrs-just look at
EN-! Does anybody see 'em? Do they
march forth to the battle in time Of peace,
an'--an'-get shot in the neck? Certain.
ly they do, and that's just what's the mat
ter--or any other man! [Cries Of good.
"Ahum-m-m! but to return to our sub
iec.' Look at our sailors Hook at 'em -
Do they not? Certainly they do! De-
they sail out on the briny ocean, where the
roarin pillows humigate, an where the de-
vourin elephants open their jaws for 'em,
an'-an'-lay down in their warm hammocks
and sleep? Certainly they do, or any 9th.
er man. A voice CERTAINLY
"Ahum-m-ln! look at our firemcn All
those boys just look at en-! Do they no,
at the dead hour of night, when the clock
proclaims the hour Of midnight, an when
the barometer is AZ degrees below Cicero
do they not rush forth to the scene of con
4agration, an'-an'- get drunk? Certain,
~ they do, an that's just what's the mat
ter with me--or any other man.
"But to return to our subjec'. Now, what
does the great an glorious Constitution OF
this United Confederation of Pennsyltucky
say? That's what I'd like to know. Does
| it not Say-docs not our Constitution say
Certainly it does that's jest what it seq
Sensation. "What did Patrick Henry
Jackson say! Did he not say that every
Que should stand upon his own ground, an
did he not lay his hand upon his heart, an
say with clear conscience, that he was a
| paper doll with glass eye? Certainly he
dld--or any other man."
The speaker retired amid thunders of ap
plause.