Holmes County farmer. [volume] (Millersburg, Ohio) 1857-1926, 1861-06-27
Letter from Young Jonathan q. Smith,
SHoTEcARY POP. Wayne Co, o.
June 2lst, 1861.

June 2lst, 1861.
Monsters EstiA:
IIavin graduated with distingue onors in Yallcr
Creek Colleg, and got regularly in,tal'd inter
bzness, sellin Concrapulated Essens of Snaik
Ingen YARDS, propose to renu mi correspondence,
. the Holmes Co., Farmer.
My last letter was written on All FOOLS Da
and then kalkerlatcd on maikcn II fool ov sum.
buddy, but the war broak loose suhe aftur whitch
nockt all sich fooli h idees outcn my he'd rs slick
rs if it had bin raiked with fine 9th coam.-l
LinlIin's foot scum down" with sich powerful
crash, it forely shook the arth, and maid all crea
ton quaik and he has sworn with a terribul oath
like un2 that wot Jackson used, that JEFF Davis
shall mock UNDER or he'll mock him. Hurraw fur
the Uuion Ma we be Abel Link.on every
Seeded State, g. drive along ngn as briskly
bobtail hoss wot has bin fed on oats on feels
his kecpn.
You are awar that NJ Ole Dad left me at the
clothes Of his patrotick speech at Frede icksburg
q sell Concrapulated Essens of Snaik Ingcn
YARDS while he went to sea marin & the twin
bnts. Well maid it pa purity well that da as
sold out all had cxceptn , bottles, l of which
gev to preacher Whittam 9 rcsiprocate the IA
yer by given the Essens puff III thar PUPPETS on
Sundays, and rcckommendin me as Ageut to the
kind horsptalities of thar Cong cgashuns One
90 the grand seekrets 90 Traid, d Bisness 90 all
kinds, .trum the sellen Of nostrums to runnin for
orfs, is to be liberal to preachers and printers.-
But doant allow you to publish this, or it will
''let the Cat out ov the wallet" ,"-6geratvely
speekin.)
The preachers--p or devils--ni hart axes fur
'em Thar heerers will lissen to en- on Sundays
with faces long Tense rales, or sleep as sound.
y as if tha wer lyn in the lap of Morpheus, and
the Gosp tidpgs were lullby song to thar i'm
mortal soles but when pa da roles around tha
act jist like the South, repudiate the stpends,
acausc war has bin proclaim'd agin thar SINS and
Ina ar detarmnd to fight under thar Ole Scce.
der Gineral, the Devil, who snaiked hissclf out
Of heaven acause he couldn't rule.
| hev bin rafting around considerably ov late
in mi itenerating Shotecary Pop biznes, and as
I'm brot in kontack with gate men kind ov
popc in mi Professional Tower, shall give you
the benefit ov phew ov my observations You
see am too young and bashful like to speek in
pubck like Mi Ole dad duz, so | takes it pcddler
fashun.
| After gettin a new supply ov Essens / left
Frcdericksburgh, and went on mi wa rejoicin.-
The fust house cum Q was Farmer Lazy boneses,
and afoie entered | noatced that the fenses war
all gon, or fast goin to D X, the out houses wer
in n sorry kondishun the horses showd thar ribs,
and the pigs wer so thin tina all had notts tide in
/ thar tales to keep em irum crawlin thru the fen.
Sc in2 naber Thrifty's kon field, and everything
seem'd to be lyin around oos, and in bad ordur,
When entered thar sot Mr.. Lazybones in the
korner a smokin his pipe, Mrs. L., was settcn on
the stove harth aparantly studyin what to du, the
oldest darter was soften on tho table, and three
boys neerly full grown, were lyin on the floor and
seem'd to be taken times easy ; the house was
not swept, ner the beds maid, ner the breckfst
dshus wasn't, tho it was neerly noon After tai
ken a sorrowful glance ut things addressed
the Capting thus;
sinister Lazybones," sed l. Il am dispenser
ov bessins,a messenger ov mercy, sent to pro-
claim glad tidings ov crate Joy to a almost ruined
and forsaken world, and to work meny wonder.
full mericles to pore the Elyxir of Life inter the
wounds of sufiern humanity; bind up the
broken harted, and cure all ills that flesh is hail
tu to shower blessings upon the unfortunate
to maik everybuddy ritch, yirtoous, aud happy
to repair all old fenses, and fix up things genery
about the place 10 put the bosses in good CON
! dishun, and iatten the pigs, &C., ct cctera."
"W.e-ll declare "-drawld out Mr.
Lazybones "Your visit is very opert une jist a
! this time, as We ar little behind hand with ou
work, and can't afford to hire, but I'm afraid
shall not be Abel to pa you fur your valuabl,
, sarvises."
"Never mind about the pa" sed I,"I am youn
i DR.. Jonathn Q Smith, and duz all these won
derfull works with the Concrapulated Essen
Snaik Ingen YARDS sell to poor folkses on tn
: poinciple ov no cure no pa, all axes is fu
o EN- to foller the direckshuns faithfully and gi
1t "a fair trial, and If you will promis TO du II,