New Orleans daily crescent. [volume] ([New Orleans, La.]) 1851-1866, 1861-04-29
LCoIMuNICATEp.l
Letter to Ulysses FlsnbacEe, alias tEae UNI
happy Manu.


have read andregead your confessions, Q! Ulys-
SEES because they excited emotions of genuine com
passion in my sympathetic heart. Brave but un-
fortunate Grecian! May Charon reward you for
such patient endurance by free passage over the
StyN. But, in the meantime, permitme to present
q plan of my own, which, it not impraetcable,
feet inspired to predict, will be the means of Sc
curing your future comfort and happiness. That
is, if you have not fallen victim to the young lady
whom you informed us faces you at dinner, and
consumes the most of your dishesn Marry her!
What an alternative! That surely would be jump
ing ont of the frying-pan into the fire. Don't COM
mon sense suggest to you that such course would
subject you to much fasting. Rest assured, that if
,your presence does not restrain this voracious
cramrner before marriage, it will not when matri-
mony has unmasked her. Should you, then, com
plain of crust, and occasional bones, ten to one
you would be deVOured for your presumption.
Conceive of well. to.do,' respectable gentle
nau, with portable teeth being reduced to such an
extremity. Give yourself time for reflection, when,
/ doubt not You will dismiss all thought of the
examiners, and take Into consideration the propo-
sal respectfully submitted Iii is quite evident you
desire a housekeeper, one of the school of '76,
when the good DANES considered domestic econo-
my a virtue of the first water. With an earnest
desire to promote your comfort, and secure home,
offer my hand and faithful services. Brought up
by an independent, sensible, and active old maiden
aunt, she early accustomed metto the care OF do
nestle machinery. l was required to dust, churn,
and cook, and on the old lady becoming hfirIn the
government of the household devolVed on me-
Need inform you, that even my exacting old aunt
was satisfied with her pupil? Alas! for the spirits
of SPIDERS files and rats, destroyed by your ruth
less correspondent in those glorious days, when
she visited daily every nook of that prim old hall.
By the death of this, my only relative, became,
like yeafselt, an inmate of boarding houses, where
my soul has been tortured without iutermisson for
these many years. Dreading the epithet told
maid - | have suffered without nlGrrnur. have,
and do continue to fondle the infants of our coun
try boar&ingthonses, when would have much pre-
ferted to nurse kittens.
The prejudices of youth are hard to remove
My dislike to your sex was part and parcel of the
education received from my aunt. She encouraged
me to follow her example, and SO long as she sup
ported me by her presence and exhortations, | was
happy in the performance of domestic duties.
Once thrown on my own resources, | travelled into
new county, and soon discovered that an old
maid was term of reproach. Hence, I am
careful not to seem the thing loathe. I.remove
carefully every gray hair that presumes to make
its appearance.
Under the Ggss your name, my time would be
spent more nationally. In entering into an alliance
offensive and defensive, we would be mutually ben
Gifted. In a two-story house we could occupy sep
arate floors, meeting at table in the parlog when
desire for social chat influenced us. Is net the
very image of q double house, possessing an air
of responsibility, cheering? It promises comfort,
for there the shines joyously on the gay flowers
about the door, and see the soft white kitten sleep
ing on the window-sial. Won may walk in and eaz-
anime the interior, which is furnished with an eye
DE the home of those, who, like Ulysses and my
self, have grown moderately old in the hard school
OF modern housekeepers Don't conclude that my
appearance has ceased to be attractive because
lave acknowledged to being sather oIa-slightly
-good-natured, genial, social and lively in
disposition, you would e8elEde that could not be
more than forty. 80 Not the least bit like an old
maid, though she is one," have often heard whis-
peredsby misses in their teens.
Restassured thatI don't Compromise my dignity,
unless writing this challenge is step towards
womans rights. Under the circumstances, dare
not permit you to indulge 10 the gloomy train of
thought which evidently called forth the ' Confess
sions Of an Unhappy Man" Take time to consider
my offer; and again let me assure you that it is
practicable, and would ensure the comfort of both.
Penelope was not more faithful to the ancient Ulys-
SEES, than wcald prove to my duties. You could
not desire moGe fidelity, exacting as old bachelors
are represented to be. shall quietly await your
decision, for something whispers that you even
now battling for the rights Of our cherished Con-
federacy before the walls of Pensacola The God
OF battles protect you, then and may victory SETTLE
like glory, on the heroic efforts of the defenders
of Southern rights. BELL.