The south-western. [volume] (Shreveport, La.) 1852-1870, 1861-10-02

Canst thouthb holy past forget?
SWEARING FOR FAMILY.-Rev. r. s. Maclay, for
thirteen years missionary in China, has written
book, in which he RELATES the following anecdote:
During one of dur examinations for candidates for
BAPTISM at Ngukatg l observed that one woman and
some three or fotT Young persons had the same
name. This crcu Instance led to the following CONVEX
sation between myself and one Of the young men:
II observe Won Ill have tile same surname Are you
all members Of thb same any?" inquired.
Yes" one rerEied this is mother, and these are
my brothers,"
''Where is yout father I continued.
"He is at home attending to business
Does he approve Of -FOUR embracing christianity"
He says i w9IId not ID for all tie family to en-
brace christianity"
''And Why" d sked, with some curiosity "does he
think SOP
He saws thatif we ali become christians our heather
neighbors viii TAXI advantage of that circumstance TO
impose upon us
''How will they do that? inquired.
"Christans are mot allowed to swear and fight, and
saws that when or wicked neghbors ascertain have
embraced christianity, they will proceed at to
curse and matreat Cs. Hence father says to u.s. you
may all become christians, but must remain heather
SO as to retaiate on our bad neighbors. You 60
to meeting and wbrshp, but | must stay home and
do the cuTsing anH fighting for the family"
4 cruel Joke Was played in Carrollton, a suburb of
New Orleans the pther day. A carpenter who was eX-
ceedingy anxious to get a wife but who had been sig
nally and snguatly unfortunate in his many attempts
to consummate that happiness, was the subject A
youth Of feminine countenance and voice personated
the Young lady Bho tempted the amOrous swain; he
proposed was accepted and early marriage agreed on
The ceremony was performed by J. P. who was also
deceived grand wedding supper was deyoured by the
guests most Of whom were parties Of the joke and the
company being dismissed the happy couple retired to
the bridal chamber No sooner there than the bushing
bride attacked with the cramps OF a violent and
unromantic COLD and bcsought the bridegroom to
bring doctor When bridegroom and doctor arrived
bride missing, joke out next day, and bride
groom missing eyer since.
A Rich SroRf-Some time since when Jacks on
county was in it, infancy and the natives were govern
ed by laws by them enacted and enforced at will there
was d character amongthem known as fddling joe
This man Joe was character not at all known among
the "cane bter4" as being devoid Of fear particularly
upon the subject of future punishment being the off
spring of rough.thongh christian parents.
The methodist church, with its usual care for those
who are unable or unwilling to employ ministers or
purchase bibles for the dissemination Of christian truths
among them sent missionary to furnish the inhabi-
tants with bibles and preach the gospel for their bene
fit.
On bright Sabbath morning in the pleasant month
of May the minister in passing from appointment
to another came upon the nforesafdJoe sitting astrde
log, playing fayofite tune of Soap suds over the
fence to his ee satisfaction and that of Od ring
who wagged bis tail h appreciation of lis masters en-
deavors. The minister approached and quietly adj
dressed the fiddler
my friend, are yqu not aware that you are doing
wrong-hat you violating the teachings of the BIZ
bic by playing your fiddle today
"Well l dun no. says Joe.
'Then let men inform YOU, my friend, that you will
be called to account for this violation of the ordinance
of the bible at tie day ofjudgement,"
JOE (eXcitedy. Hold on there parson, you have
hit on tie very thing want to ask you about. want
TO know is there bGtone day Of judgement?
'No my friend, there is but one day when all men
to be judged according to the deeds done in the
body.
JOE (resuming his favorite pastme We'll ole boss
YOU can pass on. am safe enough, ifsthere ant but
one day of Judgement, for there's old eock-eyed
Judge for the country in these parts who has the
brown critters and will die just afore me- and I'm ready
to swear his case viii take up that day, sure
The parson, of course, passed on.
SINGULAR SsNrEycE.-A magazine for May last, con
tains the following singular sentence:
"Sator arepo tenet opera rotas.'
l. This spells backward aud forward all the same
3 Then taxing al the first letters Of each word
spells the first wora
81 Then taI;ng ali the second letters Of each word
spells the second.
T. Then all the third and so through the fourth
and fifth
3. Then commencing with the last letter OF each
word spells the last word.
G. Then the nex 10 the last of each word, and so
through
Doctor said -oung gentleman to dis tinguished
Doctor, what do YOU do for yourself when you have
turn Of headache, cir other slight attack"
$50 without my dinner the reply.
"And if that does Tot cure you, what then?'
go without my supper"
But if th"t does not cure, what then?'
GO without my breakfast. We physicians seldom
tlke medicine ourselves or use them in our families,
for we know that abstinence is better but cannot
make patients believe it.n
An Irishnaf. discovered apart of The wood work
OH .-faT llr av+I1
house. He rushed up stairs to his master, and an
nounced the alarming intelligence. Down he rushed
with him. 4 large kettle of boiling water on the
fire. "Wel why don't you put out the fire." u can't
sure" why you fool pour the water upon it, Sure
it's hot water, SIR
IF YOU marry" said Roman consul to his son,
''let it be woman who has Judgment and industry
to cook meal for you taste enough to dress neatly
pride enough to wash before breakfast, and sense to
hold her tongue.
A facetiois boy asked one Of his playmates how
hardware dealer differed from a boomaker? The
latter, somewhat puzzled, gave it up. Why, quickly
replied the other because the one sold the nails and
the other nailed the Foes.
The East Haddam Comm journal speaks Of The
finding of skull on well curb in the dOor-yard of
one of the citizens eff that town, and nnoceny re-
marks that 1.-The person to whom the skull originally
belonged is dead
New York justice Of the peace refused warrant for
the arrest ofan injured young woman who had struck her
aithless lover with loaded cane, the ground that
man who attempts to break girls heart gives her
the right to break bis head.
The man everybody likes is generally fool. The
man nobody likes is Usually a knave The man who
has friends who would die for him. and foes who would
love to see him boiled alive is usually Of some
worth and force.
The vanity of those distinctions on which mankind
pride themselves will be sufficiently apparent if we
consider three paeesin which all men mast meet on
the same evel-at the foot Of the cross in the grave
and at the judgement bar.
Harry" said a young lady on the seat before at
the theatre, chow should love to be actress. y
IAN actress Henrietta! why?n oh itmust be sonice
to be made love 10 in such pretty words every evening
A man has just published book, advising all men
-sto mind their own Business Why doesn't he mind
his, instead Of telling other people what to do.
A western editor, i'll speaking Of adandys dickey,
saws SIT was scented and torn Ikea south wind after
passing through fence made of thorn bushes.
In France, love is q comedy; in England tragedy
in Italy, an opera; in Germany melo-drama; and In
this country, a farce.
A pretty woman's 5oul sometimes sits and looks out
through a bright eye like purrng eat out through
sunny window.
Marriage" said alb unfortunate husband is 1.-THE
churchyard of love- And you men, replied the