Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1861-11-26
A coon STORY.
The Imperturbable Witness.

g0ztHe, makes one OF his characters tell this
funny story of an imperturbable witness
"Some years ago. said our narrator, who
had very twinkling eye and durable red
color on the end Of his nose, "some legal busi-
ness caused me to sojourn for a few days in a
little neighboring town, which, though now
boasting Of q numerous population, was at the
time Of which speak possessed of but little
more than q rude courthouse, a tavern, and
blacksmith shop. The only active life the
place ever witnessed was at court term and
our "reminiscences even at this moment are
vivid that we found our time anything but
heavy on our hands. The judge who presided
upon the bench was a man of superior charac-
ter; familiar with the world and with the
members Of the bar; altogether superior to the
rude surroundings with which they were asso-
ciated; the contrast, therefore, between the
members of the profession and the permanent
residents in the vicinity, was necessarily very
striking.
cat the time of which I speak, man by the
name of Parker, one Of the local dignitaries
had been sued upon an open account which he
denied owing, and 1t rested upon the plaintiff,
Glass, to prove the Indebtedness.
"Aguser sort of genius named Brimlon, who
made precarious living by hunting and do
ing odd jobs as occasion required, was sub
P@naed.by Glass as his witness.
"The proceedings Of the court were conduct
ed, as might be supposed, in rather a familiar
dyg
frmness, was very little disposed to be exact
ing in his demands upon the enforcement of
mere forms, and 80 long as no legal principle
was invaded and his dinaer hour not interfered
with by business, everything was cozy and
comfortable as possible.
"After a day of more than usual excitement,
when there had really been something before
the court which called forth legal ac1men in
the plsadiDgs, having put the judge up to his
mettie; In other words, after a hard davis
work had been performed, and judge, LAWYERS,
attending jurymen and witnesses had realIy
become fatigued and hungry, as the iud ge
was on the point of ordering an adiour6me5t
of the court, the landlord Of the tavern having
openly announced in court that dinner Of
fat venison was on the table, at the particular
moment Mr.. Sharp, GLASS; lawyer, rose and
said
May it please your honor, my client, Mr..
Glass, wishes to prove an account. The only
witness in the case is present, if the court
please to hear the testimony, which will but
consume a moment
The judge, impatient as he was for the din
ner, hesitated for a moment, and consented
The case was called, Glass as Parker the
witness Brimlon was put on the stand, the law
yers and spectators stood around hats in hand:
the Judge in the act of leaving the court had
actually put on his hat, and removed it to hear
the testimony which would only take q mo-
ment'
"Brimlon, meantime, was duly sworn, and
asked in a familiar way what he knew about
the disputed account; but instead of promtly
answering he stood STILL looked severely and
reprovingly at the spectators who were bus
ting about, and finally, BY staring all present
into silence, the judge absolutely settling back
in his chair as if suddenly impressed with the
idea that he, too, must be profoundly attentive
This having been accomplished, Brimlon
commenced as follows:
1t was beautiful evening" shall never
forget that evening. The sun was setting in
the west, where there was a very curious cloud,
funnel-shaped, with large head to it, and
then sort o. coming down to . leetle eeRd-it
was, in fact, rail beautiful evening"
"When the witness had proceeded thus far,
the counsel for the defence, much to the graft
fcation Of all present, pettishly exclaimed,
" Mr.. Brimlon, We do not wish to know
anything about the beautiful evening or any
thing Of the sort; please tell Us what you know
about this account-at the same time rudely
showing Parker's bill into the witness's face
At this gross breach of decorum on the part of
the lawyer Brimlon showed no resentment,
but after remaining silent minute or more,
with increased impressiVeness he began:
" 1T was q beautiful evening-I shall never
forget that evening. The sun was setting in
the west, where there was very curious cloud
funnel shaped, with large head TO it, and
then sort o. coming down to q leetle eend-it
was, in fact, rail beautiful evening, and l
thought / mought as well 90 a huntin', so saws
/, "Boss"-you know Boss; he is q short tailed
dog with crop-ears, and as good q dog as any
in the country-so having called up Boss, and
found he was all right, / got down my gun
Ct's about thirty inches in the bar'D, and
thought I'd lie the locks, though they work
like hair triggers; so lied the locks and start
ed for the stubble field, owned by old Squire
Todman-"
''By this time the symptoms of impatiense
on the part Of the bystanders were openly ex-
pressed, and GLASS; lawyer, no longer able to
restrain himself at the prolixity Of bis own
witness, jumped on his feet and begged the
judge to order Brimlon to give a more direct
answer to q simple question. The Judge there
upon nodded his head to the imperturbable
Brimlon, who, having stopped the moment he
was interrupted until perfect silence was OBJ
tanned, began:
1T was a beautiful EVENING" shall never
forget that evening. The sun was setting in
the west, where there was a very curious
cloud. funnel-shaped, with q large head to it,
and then sort o. coming down to lettle eend-
1t was, in fact, rail beautiful evening, and I
thought / mought as well 20 huntin' so says
I"Boss"-you know Boss; he is q short-tail' d
dog with crop ears, and as good q dog as any
in the country; 50, having called up Boss, and
found he was all right, I got down my gun
dts about thirty inches in the bar'D, and
like hair-triggers; 50 / lied the locks and
started for the stubble-feld, owned by old
Squire Todman-the one he was going TO build
the gin-house on, but didn't-Well, after walk
ing bout q while, with Boss Jest little ahead
his ears forward and his tail whats left Of it)
. vaggin', what should do bat tumble over
by catching my fost in some long grass,
which acted like q shin hopple-but twas no
use, and / was going to give up the hunt,
when seed head q partridge, Just beyond q
stump, q pluming himself in the old dry rayine
that takes across the rosd-wherest says T.
"At this moment the landlord rushed into
the court-r room and announced that the veni-
son was getting cold (it was December day.,
and wanted to know, IF the Court wouldn' I
adjourn soon, IL he hadn't better put the sad
die down to the fire."
THE WITNESS TRIES AGAIN.
"At this interruption Brimlon again stopped,
rolled his large vacant eyes over on the land
lord, and, after the restoration Of fearful
silence, proceeded
"'It was beautiful EVENING" shall never
forget that evening. The sun was setting in
the west, where there was q very curious
cloud, fsnnsl-shaped, with large head TO 1t,
and then sort o coming down to lsetis
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