The Grand Haven news. [volume] (Grand Haven, Mich.) 1858-18??, 1861-06-12
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.
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Not to'be sneczed at-An empty
snuf-box rlsr v1 tr Il,w ~


snutt-box. i 111 tm f'.w -
= Principles, like coffee, Should be well
settled. ra .nHea -4 4,
= The best capital Cor young man i
a capital youug wife. ''i ri
= TO remove ink from linen-Jerk an
editor out Of his shirt. t To- .l.'d
= The overland male-Any man who
goes up in balloon. '''H' .sa-7 O. -if1
- Reputation is like polished steel il
may be tarDished by n breath 'A'N
= Can man be considered loose
character when he gets tight every night 2
- Moderation is the silken string run
ming through the pearl chain of all the
virtues. a.i.s .rs Iira
'a-- He who labors for mankind, with
out a care for himself, has already begun
his Immortality. gai.ags. ,oo
'sn.-- There's a brandy smash" !" rs the
wag said when a drunken man fell thro'
a pain of glass.
,,s = That's what | call ram age press,
rs tho printer said when the ram bultcd
him against n stone wall.
= Keep out of bad company, for the
chance is that when the devil fires into a
flock he will hit somebody. 7'' Ia-
A wag proposes to publish n new
paper, to be called The Comet, with an
original tale every week. aa
= The Yankee who was lying at the
point of death, whitfield it off wiCh, his
jack-knife and is now recovering.
---" know every rock on the coast"
said an Irish pilot, when the ship plump
cd, "and that's one of them" .r
= Pleading at the bar, says western
editor, is trying TO persuade a barkeeper
to trust yCu for a three cent nippcr.
: The, remains of the bachelor who
burst into tears, on reading the descrip.
tion Of married life, have been found.
-" Martha, have you hung up the
clothes" /" No. madam, placed them
in a state of suspension-hung is vul-
gar" r- ...V
+. "Stand aside my litte boy, / want
TO pass" Don't call me little boy, sir,
| have smoked apd chewed this two
years"
= Somebody says, n wife should be
like roast lamb-tendcr and nicely dress
ed. Somebody else wckcdly adds and
without sauce. ra.ss.
= A bright and beautiful bird is hope /;
it comes to us mid the darkness and the
storm, and sings the sweetest songs when
We are saddest. ror a.s ,s.i;
-"I am going to the post-oflicc, b, b.,
shall enquire for you!" 4" Well, yes, if
you have mind too, but don't think
you will find me there"
: Some one told our devil. that TO
kiss his sweetheart was pure and holy
Not being blessed with one, he kissed the
editors, and says it answered every pur-
pose.
- Fanny Fern thinks it is provoking
for n woman, who has worked all day,
monding an old coat Of her husbands, to
find love letter from another woman, in
his pocket. .'t
=" illustrated with cuts" said an ur.
chin, MS he drew his pocket knife across
the leaves of his grammar; )"ilIustrated
with cuts" reiterated the schoolmasler, as
he drew his cane across the urchin's back.
=, A modest lady passenger on board
one of the packet ships into New York,
sprang ont of her berth, and jumped over
board, on hearing the captain, during a
storm, order the crew to haul down the
sheets.
= al say, Pete, some old locofoco
stole half my PIC last night" g
"How did you know il it was loco,
Bill?' , ..,.
"Becausc, if he'd been whig, he'd
taken the whole Of IL"
= An exchange paper asks very iuno'
Gently, if it is any harm for young ladies
to set in the lapse of ages? Another re-
plies that it all depends on the kind Of
ages. Those from eighteen to twenty
five it puts down as extremely hazardous.
=" Sambo, whar you get dat watch
you wear to meetn' last Sunday.
How you know / had a watchl'
10 "Beeause seed de chane hanging out
of the pocket in 'front.'" .i,a
Go way niggerl Spose you see a
halter round my neck, you think dar'
horse inside OBJ met" g5# eH
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