Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1861-02-23
Artemus Ward on the Crisis.

PELLER SITERzUSs. the Afiikan may be
Onr Brother. Several billy respectyble gen.
tlemen, and sum talentd females tell ns so,
& for arguments sake mite be injooced TO
grant it.. tho don't believe it myself But
the Afrikan isn't onr sister & our wife + our
uncle. lie isn't sevral OF our brothers d all
our fust wife's relasbuns. He isn't our grand
farther, and our crate grandfather and our
Aunt in the country. Scarcely. Il yit nu-
meris persons would hsv US think so lt's
troo he runs fur Congress & sevral other
public groserys, but then he amt everybody
& everybody else likewise. Notss to bizniss
man Of Vanity Fair: Extra charge fur this
last remark. It's goak.-A. W.
But we've got the Afrikan, or ruther he's
got US. & now what air we goin to do about
it7 He's a orful noosunse. Prsps he isn't
to blame fur it. Prsps he was creatid fur
sum wise purpuss, like the measles Il New
Englan Rum, but it's nifty bard to see it,
At any rate he's 40 good here, & as | ststid
to Mister What Is II, it's pity he coodeu't
go orf somewhares quietly by hisself, where
he Good wear red weskits & speckled neck.
ties, aud grattsriy his ambishun in vsris
iuterestin vase, without haviu u eternal fuss
kickt up about him.
Prsps I'm bearin down too hard upon
Suul. yum 10 luluh On II, i du. lie
woulden't be sch internal noossnse if white
people would let him alone. He mite indeed
be interestin. And now | think of it. why
cant the white people let him alone. What's
the good Of contnnerly stirn him up with q
tenfoot pole lie isn't the sweetest kind OF
Perfoomery when in q nstral stait.
Feller Sitterzeus, the Unions in danger.
The black devil disunion is trooly here. starn
us all squarely in the face We must drive
him back. Shall we make 2ud Mexico Of
ourselves? Shall we sell our birthrite for a
mess of potash? Shall one brother put the
knife to the throat Of anuther brother Shall
we mix our whiskey with each others blud
Shall the star spangled Banner be cut up into
dishclotbs 7 StandlD here 10 this bere Skool-
house, upon my netv shore SO to speek,
auser-Nary!
Oh you fellers who air rsisin this row, and
who in the fust place startid it, lm 'shamed
OF you. The Snowman bushes for you, from
his boots to the topmost har upon his wene-
rable he'd.
say to the South don't sesesh say to
the galyiant peple OF that sunny land, les
lock up few hundred Of them tearin and
rosrin fellers OF youro in sun strong boxes,
aud send 'em over to Mexico. And we peple
up North here will coQsine a ekal numbe: OF
our addle braned rip snorters to the same
lokallerty, and thar let 'em fte it out among
themselves. No consekepts, not the slitist,
which licks. Why sbooden't the peple who
got up this its do the ftiu Git these oruery
critters out of the way. and the sensible peple
Of the North and South can fix the matter
up very easy. And when it's ixt let both
secshuns resolve to mind their own biziuiss
Feiler Sitterzens, l am in the Sheer and
Yeller leaf | shall peg out of these dase
But while do stop here shall stay in the
Union. know not what the Supervizers o
Baldinsville may conclude to do, but for one
l shall stand by the Stars and Stripes. -
Under no circumstances whatsomever will
sesesh. Let every Stat 10 the Union sesest
and let Palmstter flags fote thicker mol
shirts on Square Baxter's close line, still viii
l stick to the good old flag. The country
may 60 to the devil, bat won't And next
Summer when l start out on my campaigr
with my Show, wharever l pitch my little
tent, you shall see aotin prowdly from the
center pole thereof the Amirican Flag, will
nary star wiped out. nary q stripe less, bu
the same old flag that has alters aotid thar
and the price Of admishun will be the same i
alters wss-l5 cents, children half price,
Vanity Fair.