Cincinnati daily press. [volume] (Cincinnati [Ohio]) 1860-1862, 1861-11-26
A GOOD story.
THE IMPERTuRBABLE WITNESS.

Colonel 7. b. Thorpe in an article on "Fox
Hunting, in late number Of Hdrper's Mag
0ziae, makes one Of his characters tell this
funny storyIOf an imperturbable witness;
Some years ago" said our narrator, who
lad a very twinkling eye and durable red
color on the end Of his nose, 'some legal
business caused me to sojourn for a few days
in little neighboriDg town, which, though
now Boosting OF numerous population, was
at the time of which | speak possessed OF but
little more than rude court. house, tavern
and blacksmith shop. The only active life
the place ever witnessed was at 'codrt term
and our "reminiscences even at this moment
are vivid that we found our time any thing
hut heavy on our hands. The Judge who
r1esided upon the bench was man of So
perior character; familiar with the world
and with the members of the bar; altogether
superior to the rude surroundings with
which they were associated; the contrast,
therefore, between the members of the pro.
fession and the permanent residents in the
vicinity was necessarily very striking.
"At the time of which | speak man by
the name cf Parker, one of the local digni-
tsIies, had been sued upon an open account
which he denied owing, and it rested upon
the plaintiff. Glass, to prove the indebted
ness.
"a queer sort of genius named Brimlon,
who made a precarious living by hunting
ald dong odd jobs as occasion required,
was subpenaed by Glass as his witness.
"The LrCCeCdlngs of the court were con
Quoted, as might be supposed, in rather fa-
miliar way the judge, though man of great
natural f. 1mness was very little disposed to
be exscting in his demands upon the enforce.
ment OF mere forms, and, so long as no legal
principle was invaded and his dinner hour
not interferled with by business, every thing
was ss coy and comfortable as possible.
AFTER a day of mote than usual excite
meut when there had really been something
Iefore the court which called forth legal acu-
men in the pleadings, having put the judge
Up 10 his mettle; in other words, alter hard
Gays work had been performed, and judge,
lawyers, attending jurymen and witnesses
had really become fatigued and hungry, as
tie Judge was on the point of ordering an
adjournment of the court, the landlord of the
tavern having openly announced in court
that dinner of fat venison was on the table,
at the particular moment Mr.. Sharp, Galss'
lawyer, rose and said
"'May it please your Honor, my client,
Mr.. Glsss, wishes to prove an account. The
only witness in the case is present, if the
Court please to hear the testimony, which
will but consume moment
"The Judge, impatient as he was for the
dinner, hesitated for a moment and con-
sented. The case was called, Glass Us.
Parker the witness Brimlon was put on the
stand, the lawyers and spectators stood
around hats in hand the judge in the act OF
leaving the court had actually put on his
hat and removed it to hear the testimony
which would only take a moment
"Brimlon, meantime, was duly sworn, and
9:ked in a familiar way what he knew about
the disputed account; but instead of promptly
answering, he stood still, looked severely
and reproyingly at the spectators who were
bustling about, and finally, by staring all
present into silence, the judge absolutely set
Ting back in his chair, as if suddenly im-
pressed with the idea that he, too, must be
profoundly attentive. This having been ac-
Complished Brimlon commenced as follows
at was beautiful EVENING" shall never
forget that evening. The sun was setting in
the west, where there was a very curious
cloud, funnel-shaped, with large head to it,
and then sort o coming down to lettle
eend-it was in fact, rail beautiful even
HWhen the witness had proceeded thus
far, the counsel for the defense, much to the
qualification of all present, pettishly ex-
claimed:
"'Mr. Brimlon, we do not wish to know
any thing about the beautiful evening or any
thing of the sort; please tell us what you
know about this account at the same time
rudely showing Parker's bill into the wit
nesss face. At this gross breach of decorum
on the part of the lawyer, Brimlon showed
no resentment, but, after remaining silent
minute or more, with increased impressive
ness he began:
"'It was beautiful evening-I shall never
forget that evening. The sun was settingin
the west where there was a very curiO US
cloud, funnel. shaped, with a large head to it,
and then sort o. coming down to a leetle
eend-it was in fact rail beautiful even
ing, and | thought | mought as well go a
huntin', SO says ], Boss'-you know Boss;
he is a short-taird dog with crop ears, and
as good dog as any in the country; so hav-
ing called up Boss, and found he was all
right, got down my gun (its about thirty
inches in the barr'l and thought I'd lie the
locks, though they work like air-triggers;
so lied the locks and started for the stub
ble-field, owned by old Squire Todman-'
by this time the symptoms of impatience
on the part of the bystanders were openly
expressed, and Glass lawyer, no longer able
to restrain himself at the prolixity of his
own witness, jumped on his feet and begged
the judge to order Brimlon to give more
direct answer to simple question. The
judge thereupon nodded his head to the inn
perturbable Brimlon, who, having stopped
the moment he was interrupted until perfect
silence was obtained, began:
"Itwas beautiful EVENING" shall never
forget that evening. The sun was setting
in the west, where there was very curious
cloud, funnel. shaped, with a large head to it,
and then sort O. coming down to leetle
eend-it was, in fact, rail beautiful even
ing, and thought mought swell go q
huntip', so says /, 'Boss'-you know Boss;
he is short tall d dog with crop ears, and
as good a dog as any in the country; so, hav-
ing called up Boss, and found he was all
right, got down my gun Cts about thirty
inches in the bar'l), and thought I'd lie the
locks, though they work like hair-triggers
so | lied the locks and started for the stub
bic. field, owned by old Squire Todman-the
one he was going to build the gin house on,
but didn't-well after walking bout a while,
with Boss jest a leetle ahead, his ears for
ward, and his tail (what's left of it) wag.
gin, what should do but tumble over by
catching my foot in some long grass, which
acted like shin hopple-but twas no use,
and was going to give up the hunt, when l
seed ahead a partridge, just beyond a stump,
PlumiDg himself in the old dry raVine that
takes across the road-whereat, says l.
"At this moment the landlord rushed into
the courtroom and announced that the ven-
ison wa Egetting cold (it was December
day., and wanted to know if the Court
wouldn't adjourn soon, if he hadn't better
Put the saddle down by the fire.
TIE WITNESS TRIES AGAIN
"At this interruption Brimlon again stop.
ped, rolled his large vacant eyes over on the
landlord, and, after the restoration of fear
ful silence, proceeded;
att Wasa beautiful EVENING" shall never
forget that evening. The sun was setting il
the west where there WAS a VerY cuBioui