The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1861-03-27
From QuakertOWn.

this locality. The Post Office excite.
ment as exemplifed by the unknown
YELLOW, /" is still nnabatcd, and the
distinguished candidate who /" teaches
the young idea how to Shoot was
most decidedly defeated, not having
received solitary vote. How the
palpitations of his heart must have
snbsided when he heard the result !
The announcement, posted in Il con-
spicuous place, of his being candidate
for Postmaster 10 this village, has been
of no avail.
A rag dealer" had the predcmi-
nance over all competitors in the con-
test. Thereupon his adversary en-
Gagged in the sane trade, materially
diminished the price of groceries in
his establishment, which, together with
the signal defeat of our illnstrons
teacher" created quite an excitement
in this vicihity How the aforesaid
difficulties have been compromised, it
has net been my lot to asre tain, but
it is evident that an amicable settle
ment has been cCnsumated, without
The "coercing" of either party.
wonld beg leave to differ with
YELLOW in regard TO the "howling,
squealing and hooting," desperadoes,
as he would have it appear, ratroling
our streets on the 18th inst. No such
animals infest our town, but on the
contrary, we are peaceable, law abb
ding people, morally, p ,litically, and
socially, and always subject to the
dictation of the majority. | refer to
his allnsion merely to annul any i'm
pressions that might have been wrong
Iy promulgated We preserve our in
teerity and maintain our dignity, IN
assisted by the inf ience Of The re-
nowned proser, YELLOW" Notwith-
standing his intellectual capacities, he
will be unable to prove his allegations
as worthy of being confined to truth
fitness, candor and simplicity.
The torrent of political contro ,ersy
that so recently swept every other
topic of Importance from our midst,
has partially subsidized. Calmness and
tranquility have become paramount,
and the dogmas Of demagogues have
been obliterated In fact, everything
tends TO era dicate the idea of any
more turbulence in our midst on that
score.
No ghostly characters have yet made
their appearance to disturb the calm
repose of our world renowned Modern
grave diggers.
A squad Of our citizens, few weeks
ago, made on exploring tour into an
adjacent woods in this locality, ard
occupied their time in digging up the
bones. as they supposed, of some Of
the aboriginies there inferred. They
succeeded admirably in finding the
component parts Of what was once a
canine, having been inferred by one of
our good citizens a few wears since
The fact cannot be controversial The
perpetrators have escaped punishment,
but the circumstances have been ex-
posed to the public view, thereby rem
dering a severe censura.
Incidents of a similar charac er,
could lie related, but time and opp0r-
tunity will not permit. Yours, sc.
NEICUL
The Day is approaching.
Before another issue Of the Press,
many of orr readers will probably be
domiciled in their new homes. AL
ready in the anxious countenances,
pallid cheeks, and hurried steps of
tho; e we meet are manifested the near
approach of the first day of April, the
annual crisis whit h tests the capacity
of and the depth of purses, and tn.
patience of housekeepers complaints
loud, long and sorrowfnl are made of
the stringency of the money market
and the scarcity of funds necessary to
satisfy the urgent demands of ere
ditors household gods look despond-
ing and afflicted in view of approach
ing trials; while housekeepers who
are easy and amiable eleven months ia
the year, are relentlessly routing their
crockery from corner cnpboards, and
banishing to back boudoirs the boots |
and hats of better days Lawyers and
scriyeners are taking early breakfasts
to meet the increasing demand upon
their services money-lenders are
pouring over their bonds and bank
books, figuring up the amount they
will have on hand for the accommo-
dation Of their needing and numerous
friends borrowers are as busy as bees, |
10 liking out in time for the wherewith- |
al to meet their various engagements;
while business people generally are
stirring about with more than usual
energy and activity, getting ready
for the first"
The IS Local" an Instutintion.."
We should like to ma ,e the ac-
quaintance of the trump" who pen
ned the following paragraph. He has
evidently "been there" and knows
how to appreciate the numerous pleas
antg'ies that fall to the lot of the
I" Local :"
If Dutchman drinks forty glasses
of lager at sitting, we local sees it
done, and helps to do IT. If a plug
muss occur OF midnight, he is certain
to be present, and, ten to one, he has
a black eye for a week If a man has
the bad luck to be murdered the local
is the principal witness and if there's
an elopement in high life, you may be
sure that he is at the bottom of it,
for the sake of getting good item
He attends the first aud last ball of
the season. He never goes home till
morning, and then he takes the girls