Litchfield enquirer., 1861-05-30

e improving, and there is even some hope of Fal : ny's belief in his total reformation being r : aiized.
 :, ARTEMUs WARD IN THE SOUTH. HIS TRIALS AND ADVENTURE. l had narrer scape from the sonny Soul . :" The swings and arrers of outrajus fortin," a , luded to by Hamlck, warnt nothin in compar son to my trubles. came pesky near sweari
 some profane oaths more'n enct, but hope didn't do it, for I've promist she whose nam
 shall be nameless (except that her initials is BE1
 sY JD that I'll jine the Meetin' House at Bald insville, jest as soon as can scEape money emu together so can ford to be piuss in good stilt
 like my welthy nabers. But if I'm csnfstics ted agin I'm fraid shall continner on in my
 present benited state for sum time.
 Il fggerd conspieyusly in many thrillin scene
 and on sevril occasions I thought "the grat
 komic paper" wouldn't never be in!iched n'
 more with my lucubrations After biddin ado
 to Jefferson D., started for the depot. I ga,
 nigger sittin on fence a-playin on a banjo "My Afrikin Brother" said I, cotin from
 Track onct red, you belong to very inter
 estin race. Your masters is goin to war excloo
 slvely on your account"
 Yes, boss," he replied, an wish 'em hon
 orable graves v and he went on playin the ban jo, larfin all over and openin his mouth wide enuf to drive in on oldfasnioned 2 wheeled chaise.
 The train of cars in which was to trust my wallerble life was the scaliest rickytiest lookir lot of consarns that ever saw on whaels afere What time does this string of secondhand collins leave ?" inquired of the depot master He sed direckly, and went in & sot down. hadn't morn fairly squatted afore dark lookr man with swinister expression onto his coun tenance enterd the cars. and lookin very sharE at me, he axed what was my principles? "Secesh!" ]" l ansercd. "l'm Dissoluter. I'm in favor of JEFF. DAVIS. BoUREGARD, P1cKENs Capt. KIDD, BLooBEARp, MUSRo EDARDs, the devil, Mrs. CUNNINGHAM and all the rest of 'em. , | You're in favor of the war ?'
 this war and also of the next war. I've been in favor of the next war for over sixteen years" "War to the knive!" said the man.
 "Blud, Fargo, blud v said I, tho them words isn't origgernal with me. Them words was Tit by SHAKESPEARE, who is ded. His Mantle fell onto the author of "I'he Seven Sisters" who 8 goin to hay Spring overcoat made out of it. We got under way at larst, an proceeded on our jerney at about the rate of speed which is gnrally observed by properly funeral proces:ions. A hansum yung gal, with red musketer bar on the back part of her he'd and sassy little black hat tipt over her forrered sot in the seat with me. She wore little Sesesh flag pin'd onto her hat, and she was goin for to see hsr m tnoe 30 SSSe SS who had ned the South She was chilly and oisrdf sdfk Her bahEhhkat ahhh hfka9e ma
 Father Twin ?",I axed.
 "Yes, sir"
 "Got any Uncles?"
 A heap. Uncle Thomas is ded. tho."
 IL. .,ko ,,,l to him! I will be your Uncle THOMAS! Lean on me, my pretty Secesher, and finger in Bliss full repose p She slept as secoory as in her own housen, and didn't disturb the sollum still ness of the night with ary snore.
 At the first station Q troop of Sojers entered the cars aud inquired if "Old Wax Works! was on bored That was the disrespective stile in which they referred to me. "Becawz if Old Wax Works is on bored" sez man with face like double-brested lobster, "were going to hang Old Wax Works!"
 My illustrious and patriotic Bummers" :" sez I, a gittin up and takin orf my Shappoo, if you allude to A. WARD it's my pleasin dooty to i'll. form you that he's ded. He saw the errer of his ways at Is minits parst 2 yesterday, and stabbed hisself with stuffed sledstake, dyin in five beautiful tabloos to slow moosic! His larst words was: "My perfeshernal career is over I jerk no more r
 "And who be you?"
 "I'm stoodent in Senator BExJAN1N's law of Ass. I'm goin up North to steal sum spoons and things for the Suthern Army"
 This was satisfactry and the intossicated troop CTS went orf. At the next station the pretty little Secesher awoke and sed she must git out there. l bid her kind adoo and giv her sum provisions. Accept my blessin and this hunk of gingerbread v' sed. She thankt me much ly and tript gaily away. There's considerable human mater in man, and I'm trald shall al lers give aid and comfort to the enemy ii he cums in the shape of nice young gal.
 At the next station l didn't get orf so easy I was dragged out of the cars and rolled in the mud for several minits for the purpuss of "ta kin the conseet out of me- as Secesher kind ly stated.
 was let up finally, when powerful large Sc secher came up and embraced me, and to show that he had no hard feelins agin me, put bis nose into my mouth l returned the compli ment by placing my stummick suddenly agin his
 right foot, when he kindly made spittoon O his able-bodied face Actooated by desire ts
 see whether the Secesher had bin vaxinated then fastened my teeth into his left coatsleev'
 and tore it to the shoulder. Ne then vilentl.
 bunted our heads together for few minits
 danced round little, and sot down in mut
 puddle. We rig to our feet agin by suddel and adroit movement l placed my left eye agiI ,1 the Seceshers fist. We then rushed into eacl others arms and fell under a two hess wagon. was very much exhaustid and didn't care abou
 gettin up agin, but the man said he reckened IL better, and conclooded I would. He pulle'
 me up but hadn't been on my feet more'n twt seconds afore the ground flew up and hit me il the he'd. The crowd sed it was high old sport but couldn't zactly see where the larfture com in. We careered madly to Q steep bank, whe II got the upper hands of my antaggernist an 1 threw him into the raveen. He fell about fort feet, striking grindstons pretty hard. l UT
 derstood he was injured. 1 haven't heard fror the grindstone.
 A man in a cokt hat cum up and sed he fe ! as tho a apology was deo me. There was mi take. The crowd had taken me for anothe man! I told him not to mention it, axed hiI if his wife and little ones was sos to be ahaH , and got on bored the train, which had stoppe at that station a 20 minits for refreshments" r got all waatid. It was the heartiest meal , ever ct. ls . I was rid op rale the next day, bunch { blazin fire crackers ben tied to my cost tales. I was a fine spectycal in a dramatic pint Sf vies . but didn't enjoy it. 1had other adyenters { Q a startlin kind, but why eentinner? Why lac, I rate the Public Boosum with these here things | Sufysit to say I got across Mason Dixie : i;ne safa at last. made tracks for my humste' g but she with whom Tn hamist for life failed s renocnize. in the emaahiatsd bein who stood b fore her, tho gusbip yoatA of ierty-six summeI : who had Jeff hen only 2 few months afnra. Bv g went into the pantry, and brought ont . ce ! t.;n hlack bottle. Raisin it to my hps, I sa |. .s Hae's to vou. old gal r did it SO 1straith