davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Alleghanian. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1859-1865, 1861-02-07
An Editor on Editing.

Artemus Ward, alias Brown, late local
editor of the Cleveland Isatndealer, gives
the following advice to young men who
aspire to become editors Of newspapers:
'.Before you go for an editor young
man, pause and take big think. Do
not rush into the editorial harness rashly.
Look around and see if there is not an
omnibus to drivc-some soil somewhere
to be tilled--a clerkship of some meat cart
to be flled-anything that is reputable and
healthy, rather than going for an editor,
which is hard business at best.
We are not horse, and, consequently,
have not been called upon to furnish the
motive power for threshing machine; but
We fancy that the life of the editor who is
forced to write, write, write, whether he
feels right or not, is much like the steed
in question. IF the yeas and neighs could
be obtained, we believe the Intelligent
horse would decide that the threshing ma
chine is preferable to the sanctun editori-
al
The editors work is never done. He is
drained incessantly, and no wonder that
he dries up prematurely. Other people
can attend banquets, weddings, &c, visit
halls of dazzling light, get inebriated,
break windows, lick man occasionally,
and enjoy themselves in a variety of ways,
but the editor cannot. He must stick
tenaciously to quill. The press, like a
sick baby, mustn't be left alone for a min-
ute. If the press is left to run itself even
for day, some absurd person Indignantly
orders the carrier boy to stop bringing
'.that internal paper. There's nothing in
it. l won't have it in the house ~
The elegant Mantalina, reduced to man
Gle turning, described his life as a ''dcm d
horrible grind" The life of an editor is
all of that
But there is good time coming, we
feel confident, for the edItor-a time when
he will be appreciated when he will have
front seat when he Will have a pie
every day, and wear store clothes contin-
ually when the harsh cry of "Stop my
paper !" viii no more CRATE upon his
ears. Courage Messieurs the Edit
ors.
Still, sanguine as we are of the coming
of this jolly time, we advise the aspirant
for editorial honors to pause ere he takes
up the quill as a means Of obtaining his
bread and butter Do not, at least, do so
until you have been Tilted several dozen
times by like number OF girls-uutil you
have been knocked down stairs and soused
into horse pond-uutil all the '.gushing"
feelings within you have been thoroughly
subdued-until, in short, your hide is of
rhinocerous thickness Then, O, aspi-
rants for the bubble reputation at the
press mouth, throw yourselves among the
inkpots, dust and cobwebs of the printing
Office, if you will
The Alleghanian. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1859-1865, 1861-02-07
VIII Making.

ne pracCice OF cutting OH Wltll Sn1l-
ling was introduced TO refute the presump-
ton of forgetfulness or Inconsistencies
to show that the testator fully remembered
and meant to disinherit the sufferer. Lady
Mary Wortley Montague cut off her scape-
grace Of son with a guinea. When
Sheridan threatened to cut off his el lest
born with shilling, the quiet retort was,
"Couldn't you give it to Inc at once, if
you happen to have such thing about
you?"
Hazliti mentions an habitual liar, who,
consistent to the last, employed the re-
manning lays he had to live alter being
condemned by the doctors, in making Il
will, by which he bequeathed large estates
in different parts of England, money in
the funds, rich jewels, rings, and all kinds
of valuablcs, to his old friends and ac-
quaintances, who, not knowing how far
the force Of nature could go, were not for
some time convinced that all this fairy
wealth never had an existence anywhere
but in the idle coinage of his brain, whose
whims and projects were no more.
4 wealthy nobleman hit upon a still
more culpable device for securing posthu-
NOUS ignominy He gave one lady of
rank legacy, @~by way of compensation
for the Injury he feared he had done her
fair fame" large sum to the daughter
of another, married woman, ''from the
strong conviction that he was her father;"
and so on through half a dozen more items
of the sort, each levelled at the reputation
of some one from whom he had suffered
repulse the whole being nullihed without
being erased) by a codicil.
a widow occupying large house in
fashionable quarter Of London, sent for
wealthy solicitor to make her will, by
which she disposed of between fifty and
sixty thousand pounds. He proposed
soon after, was accepted, and found HIM
self the happy husband of a penniless >ad-
ventures.
Shortly after the death of Mr.. Asheton
Smith, George Carter, one Of his hunts
men, sought an interview with an old
friend of the family, and with great ear
nestness made the following proposition ::
"I hope, sir, when | and Jack Fricker
and Will Bryce (the Whips) die, we mag
be laid alongside master in the Mausole-
um, with Ham Ashley and Paul Potter,
1.-TWO hunters) and three or four couple of
his favorite hounds, in order that we may
be all ready to start again IL the next
world"
aid thinks, admitted to that equal sky,
His faithful dog shall bear him company.
Kellerman left his heart to be buried
in the battle field of Falmy, where the
first repulse was sustained by the Allies.
He had better have selected AIarengo,
where charge of heavy cavalry, led by
him without orders retrieved the fortunes
of the day.
Mademoiselle Jolly, a French actress of
the latter part of the eighteenth century,
having passed some agreeable hours on a
hill near Falaise, called La Roche-Sa;nt-
Quentine left directions in her will that
her remains should be carried to this sol
itary hill, which was so dear to her heart
Her wishes were obeyed, and the hill has
ever since been called Mount Joly.-Quar-
ter!y Reuieao.
The Alleghanian. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1859-1865, 1861-02-07
CHURCHES. MINISTERS, sc.

PresJyserian-REv. D. HARRISON, Pastor
Preaching every Sabbath morning at 10}
O'clock, and in the evening at ; O'Clock. Sab
bath School at l o'clock, ~ NJ. Prayer meet
lug every Thursday evening at 6 o'clock.
Methodist Episcopal Ctweh-REv. j. SRANE
Preacher in charge. Rev L. H. BAIRD, As
sstaut. Preaching every Sabbath, alternately ly
at IOt o'clock in the morning, or in the
evening. Sabbath School at clock, a. N
Prayer meeting every Thursday evening at
o'clock.
Welch Hraepeadent-REv. LII. r. POWELL,
Pastor.-Preaching every Sabbath morning at
10 o'clock, and in the evening at o'clock.
Sabbath School at o'clock, p. NJ. Prayer
meeting on the first Monday evening of each
month and on every Tuesday, Thursday
and Friday evening, excepting the first week
in each month.
Chciaistic Neihodist-REv. JOHN WILLIAMS,
Pnstor--Preaching every Sabbath evening at
and o'clock. Sabbath School mt 10 o'clock,
i u. Prayer meeting every Friday evening
At o'clock. Society every Tuesday evening
at o'clock.
DiyciYIes-Rgv. WM. LLOYD, Pastor-Preach-
ing every Sabbath morning at o o'clock.
Particular Baptists-REv. DAVID JENKINS,
PastOr.-Preaching every Sabbath evening at
o'clock. Sabbath School at l o'clock, p NJ.
Catholic-REv. NJ. j. MITCHELL, Pastor =
Services every Sabbath morning at l04 o'clock
sai Yespers Mt o'clock ii :Ae evening.
The Alleghanian. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1859-1865, 1861-02-07

MANAGEMENT OF CREAM IN THE WIN
TER.-For some reason not yet known,
cream skinned from milk in cold wealth
er does not come to butter, when churned,
so quickly as that from the same COW in
warm weather. Perhaps the pelicles,
which form the little sacs of butter in the
cream, are thicker and tougher. There
are two methods of obviating this trouble
in great degree. One is to set the pan
of milk on the stove, or in some warm
place as soon as strained, and let it remain
until quite warm-some say until a bubble
or two rises, or until skim of cream be-
gins to form on the surface. Another
mode recommended, is to add table
spoonful OF salt to quart of cream when
it is skinned Cream thus prepared will
generally come to butter in few minutes
when churned. 1t is thought the salt acts
upon the coating of the butter globules
and makes them tender, so that they break
readily when beaten by churning-N siae
Farmer
The Alleghanian. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1859-1865, 1861-02-07


THUNDER IN FEBRUARY.-Meetin an
old friend from West Newbury, the other
day, he reminded us cf an affair that hap
pcned there some years since, over which
we have enjoyed many hearty laugh to-
gether:
A gentleman residing in West Newbury
having missed a good many sticks from his
woodpile, his suspicious fell upon a we'll
to-do, but miserly neie hbor of his, whom
hethought capable Of the act. He resolved
accordingly, to resort to the old expedient
of placing heavy log in a tempting po-
sition, having first well charged it with
gunpowder, not only in the centre, but in
several minor crevices.
Sure enough; the stick disappeared, and
one looking very much like it ..might have
been seen," as James says, on the suspect
ed gentleman hearth on the ensuing Sun
day. Before it, in huge tin-kitchen, a
turkey was browning itself into climax.
All Of sudden laundering explosion
was heard-the tin-kitchen was blown in
to a thousand atoms-the dismembered
turkey few through the atmosphere, and
the old tom-cat disappeared up the chin
ney.
The old gentleman and his maiden sis
ter were horribly scared, but not material
ly injured, and the former wa the first to
speak. ''Sister," said he, 'that ere was
the loudeSt thunder that | ever heard in
February" .r
The next day the plotter Of the mischief
sent a tin-peddler to the depredator's
house.
'Want any tinware?" said the Yankee
"No, no ~ said the old gentleman, test
lily.
"Why, yes you do replied the peddler,
''your memory must be dreadful short
Most all your neighbors say as how you
want a tin-kitchen."
A pair Of tongs few through the air,
but the tin-peddler lodged around the
house corner, where he looked through a
window exclaiming-"Better hev it, pow;
it's fust rate article-warrant it to stand
most any climate, and all sorts of weather,
from earthquakes down TO homemade
thunder"
The Alleghanian. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1859-1865, 1861-02-07

CooL.-A very smart friend # ours in
this city, says one of the Newark, Nj.
papers, a thorough going Republican, on
walking in the day after the election, re-
quested his wife to look out of the window
and tell him how the election had gone
"How shall | know said the lady
''Watcf the countenanees of the passers-
by in the street." said our Republican or
ator, land If the Democrats wear long
faces oar side has won, and vice pe,sa."
The lady after looking out of the window
for a few minutes, dryly said to her hus-
band, 81 don't see anybody passing but a
lirtle nigger. Has whistiing, so | gaess
Lincolu, .in."
The Alleghanian. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1859-1865, 1861-02-07
A BEAUTIFUL REFLEcTIoN.-Bulv

y BEAUTIFUL REFLECTIoN--BuiW
eloquently says 81 cannot believe that
earth is mans abiding place. 1t cannot
be that our life is cast up by the ocean of
eternity, to float a moment upon its waves
and then sink into nothingness. Else
why is it, that the glorious aspirations,
which leap like angels from the temple of
our hearts, are forever wandering about
unsatisfed Why is it that the rainbow
and clouds come over us with beauty
that is not of earth, and then pass of and
leave us to muse on their faded loveliness.
Why is it that the stars, who hold their
festival around the midnight throne, are
set above the grasp of our limited facul-
ties, forever mocking us with their unap-
proachable glory? And finally, why is
it that bright forms of human beauty are
presented to our view, and then take us,
leaving the thousand streams of affection
to flow back in Alpine torrents upon our
hearts? We arc born for higher des-
tiny than of earth. There is realm
where the rainbow never fades where the
stars will spread before Us like islands that
slumber on the ocean, and where the
beings that pass before US, like shad-
ows, stay in our presence forever" !"
The Alleghanian. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1859-1865, 1861-02-07
POETRY.
EEle story of Ambition.

When Jones was sixteen, he was bent
On one day being President.
At twenty-five, Jones thought that he
Content as District Judge would be.
At thirty, he was much elated
When for Mayor of Frogtown nominated.
But bootless all the nomination,
His rival, Tompkins, graced the Station.
At forty-fve, his dreams had fled
Hope and ambition both were dead
When from his tolls he found release,
He died-a Justice OF the Peace
O, youthful heart, so high and bold,
That is thy brief, sad story told
The Alleghanian. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1859-1865, 1861-02-07
"DoSr DO THAT TILL AM DEAD

"DoST DO THAT TILL [ AM DEAD. =
On the day of the meeting of the Seees-
sionists at Kingston, Georgia, a revolution
tionary soldier returned to his residence
in Cobb county, on the railroad, though
his eyes were so dim he could not see well.
He was told they were trying to dissolve,
or secede from the Union. Whereupon
he dropped his withered face, and seemed
to be in deep distress for one or two min
utes, after which he raised up his head,
and, with "a faltering voice, said, "Oh,
don't do that till | am dead y While he
uttered these words the large tears chased
each other down his worn cheeks. He
was told q great number OF men would
try to prevent them to which he re-
piled, "Don't let them do that till L am
dead ~
The Alleghanian. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1859-1865, 1861-02-07
RAILROAD SCHEDULE.
WILMORE STATION.
COUNTY OFFICERS.

J"lge, fthe Courfs.-President, II on. Geo.
Taylor, Huntingdon Associates, GeorgeW.
aasley, Richard Jones. Jr.
ProthoHotary.-Joseph NJ Donald.
Register and Recorder f. Lytlc.
ShcriF.-Robert p Linton.
Deputy Sherif.-William Linton.
District 1ttorney.-Philip s. Noon.
County C0n,missioners.-A Abel Lloyd, D. I.
Storm, James Cooper.
Clerk TO Commissioners.--Robert a. NJ Coy
7redsurer.-Joh ohm A. Blair.
Poor House Directors. = David OHarro,
Michael M'Guire Jacob Horner.
Poor House Tredsurer.-George G. h. Zahm.
Poor House Stetcard.-James j. Kaylor.
Mercantile Appraiser.-H. G. Devine.
Auhtors.-Henry Hawk, John F. Stull.
John S. Riley.
Co"dty S"rueyor. e. A. Nickroy.
CoroHer.-James S. Todd.
:, Superintendent Of Common Schools.-T. a.
Mcguire.
The Alleghanian. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1859-1865, 1861-02-07
FIT FOR A LAwYER-An old Ia,

FIT FOR A LAwYER.-An old lady
walked into a lawyers Office lately, with
her boy of seven summers old.
Esquire, called to see if you would
like to take this boy and endeavor to make
lawyer of him."
Decidedly too young, madam Have
you no older boys?"
"OL, yes, sir but we mean to make
farmers of them. My husband and l
thought, however, that this one would
make first-rate lawyer, and SO | brought
him to you
"Much too young, madam, to commence
the study of Il profession. But why do
you suppose this boy better calculated to
make a lawyer than yonrT-ofder sons
what are his peculiar qualifications?
ooh, well, you see. sir, he is just seven
years old to-day; when he was only five,
he could lie like the devil; when he got
to be six, he was as sassy and impudent
sas any eritter could be and now he steals
everything he can lay his hands upon
Now, if be amt fit for lawyer, would
just like to know what he will have to
learn"
sPretty we'll educated, I should think
Too young, however Good morning"
u IL e r
The Alleghanian. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1859-1865, 1861-02-07

re- A Western editor complaining he
could not sleep one night, summed up the
causes "a wailing babe sixteen months
old, dog bowling under the window, a
cat squalling in the alley, a colored sero-
made in shanty over the way, tooth
ache, and pig trying to get in at the
back door"
The Alleghanian. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1859-1865, 1861-02-07

The late Bishop Seabury being asked
his opinion of this performance, replied
that he paid no attention to the music,
but that his sympathies were so much ex-
cited for poor Aaron that he was afraid
he would not have hair left,
The Alleghanian. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1859-1865, 1861-02-07
EBENsBURG BeR. OFFICERS.

;, justices Of the Pedce.-David II. Roberts,
Harrison Kinkead
Bargess-Andrew Lewis.
To~n CouacH-Willam Kittcll, William K(
riper, Charles Owens, j. c. Noon, Edward
Shoemaker.
Clerk to CouncH-T. ,. LtZinger.
Through Treasurer.-Georgc Gurley.
Weigh Naster.-William Davis. -
School Djrectors.-Edward Glass, William
DAVIS, Reese S. Lloyd, John j. Lloyd, Morris
.. Evans, Thomas J. Davis.
treasurer Of School Board-Eyan Morgan.
noAstdble--George Gurley.
Iar Cottector.-George Gurley.
-issessor--Richard 4 T. Davis.
g*age Of E9ectioa.-Isaac Evans.
11'PsefOrs.-Johr S. Rhey, John j. Evans.
FFE ALtEeHANIAN-SI5o in advance
The Alleghanian. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1859-1865, 1861-02-07

B9s- STERN AuNr,--"In my time, Miss
the meu looked at the women,s faces instead
of their anofes"
YoUNG LApY.-"Ah but, my, dear
aunt, you sec the world has improved,
and is more civilized than it used to
be :"
The Alleghanian. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1859-1865, 1861-02-07

esa- There are but seven States in the
Union in which the Post Office receipts
exceed the expenditures. They are Mass
achusetts, Rhode Island, New Hampshire,
Connecticut, n York, Delaware and Pa.
The Alleghanian. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1859-1865, 1861-02-07
EBENsEsURG HzAFE.s.
MAI S ARRIVE

6as- The Mails from Butler, Indiana, ,Strongs-
town, &c, arrive on Thursday of each week,
at o'clock, p. VI.
Leave E5ensburg on Friday of each week,
at =. NJ
sa- The Mails from Newman's Mills, Car
rolltown, &c, arrive on Monday, Wednesday
and Friday of each week, at o'clock, p. NJ.
Leave Ebensburg on Tuesdays, Thursdays
aad Saturdays, at O'Clock, \. NJ.
Hsa- Post Office open Sundays from 8
to 10 o'clock, 4. VI.
The Alleghanian. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1859-1865, 1861-02-07

CHOIR SINGING.-O Our amateur choir
singers are too fond of executing difficult
pieces" and confounding common people
with reverberating resonances. The rec
tor Of st. Bardolph's takes off this style
most laughably in describing the singing
of the following stanza
''True love is like that precious oil,
Which, poured on Aaron's head
Ran down his beard, and o er his robes
Its costly moisture she'd
In the prodigious effort of this perGDr-
nance. the splitting combination of the
several voices hardly bore resem blance
to that oily current poured on Aaron's
head, which
Ran down his beard, and DER his head
Ran down his
The Alleghanian. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1859-1865, 1861-02-07

Its costly meist-
Ran down his beard--
eard-his-beard-his
Ran down his ard-his--shed-
His robes-itS costly aoist-his beard
-ure shed-his-coat-his robes-ure shed
Its c-o-s-t-l- mois ~
The Alleghanian. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1859-1865, 1861-02-07

Ran down his beard
-h-i-s h-e-a-r-d-
The Alleghanian. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1859-1865, 1861-02-07

And Ger his
Ran down his beard-ran down his
The Alleghanian. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1859-1865, 1861-02-07
EUR and Fancy.

ga little nonsense, now and then,
Is relished by the best of men"
The Alleghanian. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1859-1865, 1861-02-07

His robes his robes-ran down his beard
Ran down
The Alleghanian. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1859-1865, 1861-02-07

se- Poor Piekcns-thc head of S. c..
The eastern clarion. [volume] (Paulding, Miss.) 1837-1863, 1861-10-11
Letter from Marion Station.
CAMP MARION STATION.
Sent. -. 1851.

CAMP MARION STATION,
Sept -, 1861,
DEAR CLARION We arrived safe at
Marion Station on the Goth inst, after q
tiresome march from Augusta. Our boys
stood the trip finely though having been
newly shod many had their feet blstered,
Our first night out we found tolerable
comfortable quarters near Mrs Hinton's.
As we passed Mr.. Rob. lIinton's we were
hailed by his lady, who filled our wagons
with many good cakes and much cooked
meats, which you know is one Of her
characteristics The next night we camp
ed at Mr. lIolley's, in Wayne county,
where some of the ladies Of the neighbor-
hood cooked us both supper and break
fast. and cheered us on our route. After
many miles march we came to one Allen
Sherley's, where some of the boys asked
for cup of coffee, for which they were
charged dime, others paid twenty-five
cents for a bowl of olabber Some ordered
dinner, for which they paid from fifty to
seventy-hve cents-bill of fare, beef and
corn bread. Some paid one price for to-
bacco, Others more than double for the
same quantity out of the same box, rotten
at that. When you kill hogs send him a
few tails
When night came we found ourselves
within ten miles of Shubuta in the open
piney woods, and our provisions well nigh
out. We dispatched Lieutenant Myers,
and our friend Sidney Hinton, to the
nearest house, who informed them that
he had nothing to furnish us, but that
- had stock of cattle using round
him. lie went out with them and they
The eastern clarion. [volume] (Paulding, Miss.) 1837-1863, 1861-10-11
To Our Friends.

The friends Of the Clarion will bear us witness lhat
we have very rarely troubled them with dunS Buy
Justice yourselves and TO them az they desire gooa
paperl compes US to remind them OF their indebted
ness We cannot publish the paper during the en-
tire war, without receiving at least portion OF What
is due us. With 100000 ON our books ana faplu
ly accommodating accounts, we are not getting money
enough to buy the paper on which the CLARION Us
printed Thousands OF perfectly solvent men owe
us for subscriptions-some as much as three nYe or
zen years. They might at least send US poru9h OF
their dues Money in notes Of any solvent bank
received at par, and may be mailed at our risk, tl
king the post masters receipt
Il il with the greatest reluctance that we ever
mention in this public way the pecuniary relations
of ourselves and subscribers; but we have 70 pay
cash for the material and labor necessary to carry on
the Clarion and It is neither right nor just that We
should be expected to furnisht out of our private
means, while there is so large an amount que the es
Enlistment by perfectly responsible men.
We have the qualification OF knowing that the ca
ron was never more in demand than at the present
lts subscription list is nereasing.a an unpreeedent
ed rate yet few Of those who order i think 70 ae-
company the order with the cash, while we know
that many might do so with slight inconvenience
We trust this will be thought Of in future II IS IN
possible for us to continue to increase our INST AT the
present rate, altogether on credit
The eastern clarion. [volume] (Paulding, Miss.) 1837-1863, 1861-10-11

soon had a bullock butchered and batba
cuing at ON camp andwe were an right
30 was 10 with our friend -, as we
paid him a reasonable price for BIS beef
The next evening brought Us to Shubuta.
whore the ladies TODD By the roadside
wayiRg the Confederate flag. The boy-
cheered itat the top of their voices, and
repaired to the .tation-hou-e, where the
citizens ent u-, from an directions, bas-
kets Of supper We took the train at TO
o'clock, and were met BY Lieutenant Den.
ham, who had the banner presented to
the Kennedy Guards by the young ladies
Of Perry
We were put out at Marion Station.
late in the night, where we biyouacked
around our baggage until morning. W.
were all Curious to take a daylight look
at the banner presented to us by our lady
friends So it was called for and when
thrown to the wind, it was amusing to
hear the colloquy around it.
Some would say let me see, another
hold it up, third hands off, don I soil It
and so on. At least feel fully authoriz
ed to say to the young ladies, thatth
boys are determined To hold it despitet hc
vandal Hosts Of the enemy, in honor I,
them, their country and themselves, L
lay their manly forms at the feet Of thei
new nation, and there pay the debt the.
owe their country, and their God. al
wanted to bear it, but it was finally decid
ed that Mr.. VIM. Lambert being the tall
est man, could hold it highest and lurth
est from trailing in the dust.
VIII the young ladies accept our thank
for so beautiful presentation.
We were mustered into service yestei
day. None OF our men were rejected al
well and highly pleased x.