Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1861-06-05

lNdpolCol ouly SoV w 4'Ao9oo" w.
speak to under-rate Napoleon, for Eu
rope once combined 2 put France on the
ground, but the world could not make
her Grail. Cant take lessons from fur
in language, "eh,' (say quick. Dom
u kno that the ghost of Washington
will set the world against u? Uunder
stand. If not, then 60 to language
still more furin, and read whata respec
table gemman of old thought, in regarc
2 the sentence, "naene tekel upharsin'
which, in the furin language, as spo
ken on the coast of Afriker, means-o
la Arnoa-"tea kittles is hard up!
Judgin from your proclamation, u know
ed that.
AS to invadin the South, there4-o
la Moscoav-2 collect friends 2 pay your
revenue, I'm a thinking u + maxim q
friendly mistake. Howsomever, u may
try it intentially. I think some other
plan would suit your constitution better.
Speakin of revenue, I'm sorry Icant
give any account of the progress Of
the war in this vicinity, on the score Of
revenue. All I kan sa at present, in
the hurry of the moment is, that your
chance ov collectin much revenue here,
for your immediate necessities, is quite
scase indeed, Abe. If I hear ov any
revenue collected here on your B1, II
let kno! Until your wishes further
known, it will B deposited in Bank to
your credit, # u have any. All our
banks here, are safe for keepin any thing
that B-longs 2 u. In general, our
banks have SOLIDS, and perfectly incor-
porated. Soc need have no fears ov
safe keepin of your revenue, tho they
ma individually not invite yourself in
their Houses out ov a shower ov rane.
The kasion ov it is, your proclamation
has made u awful unpopulous. I tell
them, howsomever, not 2 mind what u
sa, for proelamations don't hart any
body.
Now understand me on the subject ov
Revenue. I mean to say don't wish
to flatter u, but if Il don't hear from me-
before next week again, may consider
that your chance for Revenue ccn,il.
ues scase. But, shouldy you in the m'Ji,
time hear from me, will signify the
intelligence ov Revenue, by certain pm
hole marks on the envelope. A pin
hole at the upper corner will signify
the word "glorious, '-another at the
opposite korncr vii! signify "news." 2
more pin-holes anywhere on the letter
will signify "great Ievenue!'' 2 KUN
2 the pint at onest, heap ov your
friends here condole with u about Reve-
nue., but l konsolation they have is,
that, as far as branes is concerned, u +
maturity rich! Mind, they don't kuse u,
but, ? & kanded, they dcspise &c some
body or other with so little branes, put
ting his friends evry where, 2 so much
trouble to kollect Revenue! | will set
out collectin for u this afternoon, and
let kno 2 mite in the klose ov this let
ter, B4 mailin. I hope II succeed, and
if l don't kollect any Revenue for why
must not blame me. Z kno when !
does the best he kan, hekan do no more
and nobody kan blame any body for
doin dat much but hesef!
2 mite, 8 o'clock. Well I've just re-
turned, and marry red for Revenue! I
was put entirely out ov sorts with all |
met and asked for Revenue for u. /
see no reason why shouldn't issue an
other proclamation. They don't seem
to mind your first !. But what would
B minded, l would kontinue to issue
several proclamations, when it is all for
the sake of Revenue. They say when
l axed them for Revenue foru that they
aint whipped yet, to give you as much
as tribute, and as for my kollectin Rev.
enue for u in the Southern Confederacy
for your Yankee Doodle Government,
it will be race between it and the Mil
lennium. tell you what it is, it's no
90 at this time. To Ak EN- for Reve-
nue. now without another proclamation
or so, is like singin sans 2 a defunt an
imal ov the equine race, 2 the tune ov
Rock the Doodle Dirie.
When they commence singin ''Dixie,
I rally don't kno who to trust this side
of the grave exsep tis the Lord ov host
They all think here, that a Revenue
Collector amt much. They think that
an application ov the 5 digits ov the
umanpedestal to the arrearage ov col
lector, in this age ov progress, will read
lily turn him in2 a revenue cutter, as far
as fast travcllin is concerned! | cant
think of collectin for u at this rate |
only undertook the job ov tryin to e.
lect from good fcelin ? u, 70: if Il 1aoI-
me your books, | got no pintmen; ;'.'
the business. But, judgin from ;;,'
success I've met with, | hope | aint III.
lntrudin Soc if have any idea OF
pintin me, don't Il, and wont, if Il have
any respect for me:
Your on'y chance ov collectin at pres
ent is , issue more proclamations. 1t
seems , me enough cv EN- is just what
is needed for your !'lrpose just now II
Your next best plar forraisin Revenue,
would B to l-evate sand Bur over the
mouth ov the Mississippi, and charge all
the fish in the 10 sense drink. You
will thus have the wealth of the at
your command, and after tilln all the
Banks with Revenue, u kan pile up the
balance in the Missis-slippery bottom
If have any intention in this way, u !
had better stick ? it. If you should
waver and find kant stick, / am told