Fremont journal. [volume] (Fremont, Sandusky County [Ohio]) 1853-1866, 1861-10-18
Doesticks Respectfully Inquiroth.
WHAT DO THE WOMEN WANT US TO DC
ABOUT THE WARE

ABOUT THE wAR9
One reason why it is so difficult to please
woman is, that she seldom knows herself
what she wants. In most cases it is as hard
to satisfy a woman as it would be to con-
tent captain who would set you to steer
his ship and wouldn't tell you whether he
wanted you to go to Jersey or Japan. They
wouldn't be satisfied, whatever you do.--
Especially in the. matter Of war. Particu-
larly in the matter of the present war
Your wife, or mother, or sister, or whoever
may be the woman that owns you, refuses
to be content, no matter what you do If
you don't join military company she sulks,
insinuates that you are coward, turns up
her nose, aud "wishes she was man." If
you do join said company, she scolds about
the expense, grumbles about the loss of time,
and growls whenever you go to drll-though
in spite of her growing she always saves
the choicest part of the dinner for you when
you do come.
Then she laughs at you, and calls you 6
''dressed up monkey" the first time she seel
you in uniform; and then, as soon as yor
are gone out of the house, she rushes ovel
to Mrs. Jones TO tell what splendid off
Ger" her husband is, aud how magnificent
he looks in his new military dress. Then,
if your regiment is ordered away, and you
insinuate that "business affairs" will keep
you at home, all her fire is blazing in an
instant, and she upbraids you for "backing
out" at the critical moment, and insinuates
that you are "play-boy soldier" and then
she wishes she were man-she'd show
folks how to fight. Then, when you fiually
make up your mind to go to the seat of war
she bursts into wet tears, which spot youl
new uniform and tarnish the gold lace or
your sleeves, and thinks "you ought to be
ashamed to 90 off and leave your family >
She vows "she don't believe you care straw
for your wife, or cent for your sweet chill
dren;" she "knows you would rather be any
where than at home," and "wishes she were
a man, she'd teach the President better than
to send men away from their families"
Then, when the day comes for you to
start, she VOWS that she twill never speak
to you again if you persist in going" Then,
when you take paper out Of your pocket,
and pretend to read furlough from the
commaudaut excusing you, and giving leave
to stay at home, she throws her apron over
her head, sits down on the floor and howls
aloud, "To tkink she should have coward
for her husband" her husband should
be afraid to go to the wars" And then,
when you tell her that it's all mistake
and that your are going after all, she howls
louder than ever, because she "knows you
will be killed." or sho feels it in her bones
that you will come home with two wooden
legs, and then how can you take her to the
academy on opera nights. Then she re-
sorts in turn to every one Of the immense
lists Of female tactics to keep you at home
She weeps, she banters, she pokes fun al
you-she wishes she was man-she get;
mad-she sulks-she threatens to 90 home
to her mother-she coaxes-sho won't eve
live with you another day"-she scolds, she
. entreats, and, as last result, she faints--
in this case she always falls 10 your arms, j
you make an offer to catch her; ifyou don
offer, and Il is early in the morning, and sh,
hasn't made her bed yet, she'll fall on thu
t bed but if the bed is nicely made up shell
: fall on the carpet, SO as not to muss the bed
/ if the fainting dodge don't work, and yor
, are still resolved to 20, she vows she "hate'
you, aud that she'll never speake to you
again" and then; in order 70 prove the bit
, terness Of her hate, she goes of and packs
your haverssck full Of the daities ard deli
cacies Of the season; then, after all, at tn,
} very last moment, she comes and throws be-
: arms around your neck, and whispers tina
} she Gloves you best of oil 10 the world, "ant
that she'll abe such good girl until yol
come back, aud that she'll stake such goo,
care Of the children" and that "you mustu'
fret about her." and that she will write eve
ry blessed day, and that you must writ
just as often as you can, and that she "love
: you best, BEST" and thousand other littl'
, messages for you, but all kind and loving
and all told without tear--for she doesn'
: cry now until you are out of the house
then when YOU are gone she weeps like
: shower bath for half an hour; then sudden
Iy stops short, wipes her eyes, and doesn'
vast another tear till she sees you again.
i That's the way they all doi and, talk Al
y peacefully as you can, she Is never satisfes
| in her heart till she secs YOU ia uniform.