The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1861-05-30
ARIET Y.

SAHlEIh.
Iti only those who have done nothing, who fancy
they do everything
Good manners sometimes make impression,
He Is q frst-rate collector who can. upon all
siOns, collect his wits
y eensus-taker found woman who gave her
age tweny-four years, and that of her Oldest
tweuty-three
Men are generally deserted in adversely. When
the sun SETS our very shadows refuse TO follow
Picture Of despair poor pig with his
through garden fence, almost touching cabbage
stalk.
How immensely would our conversation be abridged
If all mankind would only speak the truth
'' Confouud all OPPOSITION rs the owner Of
watering machine said when heavy shower Of rain
n
A LUNAR BE4u-Said an as tronomer a bright
eyed girl, when talking Of raj nbOws, Did ycu
see a lunar bow, miss 49, have seen beau by
moonlight, if that's what you men,, was the sly re-
jOinder-
OF a truth, home without girl is only half
blest; il Is orchard without blossom, and n
spring without n song house full of sons Is like
Lebanon with cears, but daughters by the hre-slde
like roses IN Sharon,
Isaac, can you describe bats Yes. sir; he's
flying insect about the size of stoPpe, has India
rubber wings and shoe string tail; he sees with his
eyes shut, and bites like the devil
Mister will you just lend pa your paper He
only wants send il TO my uncles in the country
Oh certainly and ask your father If he will lend
me the roof of his house; only want the shingles to
make the teakettle boil
thief who broke out Of Jail in Ohio the other day,
being captured, told the sheriff that he might have
escaped easy enough, but he bad conscientious scru
piles against travelling on Sunday
WEIGHT or THE HEAVENLY BODIEs.-One Of the
most interesting Of the results of astronomy Is the
accuracy with which the weight Of the heavenly bO-
dies i ascertained. The Of Jupiter is found to
be more than 80, and less than 323 times the mass
81; cxioh accurately has this work been
compIished The of the sun - 359,51l times
greater than that Of the earth and moon, AMI 700
times greater than the united masses of all the plan
cts The planet Saturn Is composed of matter only
half n heavy water; Mercury Is heavier than
quicksilver
HoME CoUErEsIEs-A A correspondent gives this
experience :-'' I one Of those whose lot IN life
has been 20 60 out into an unfrendly world at an
early age and Of nearly twenty families in which L
made my home in the course Of about nine years,
there were only three four that could De properly
designated rs happy families, and the source Of
troubIe was not much the lack Of love the lack
of care 10 manifest it, The closing words Of this
sentence give the fruitful Of family alien
ations of heart-aches nnumerable, Of sad faces and
s,Icomy circles Not much the lack of love
"a lack of care to manifest it, What world Of
misery IS suggested by this brief remark Not over
three four happy homes in twenty, and the cause
20 manifest and easily remeded All, in the
small sweet courtesies of life, what power resides!
In n look n word, a tone, how much Of happiness or
disauietude may be communicated Think OF IT.,
reader, anu Iakc tnc les-Ou ito"te Win DOu-
The Man WHO wox'r PAY THE PRINTER.-Nlay he
be shod with lightning, and compelled to wander over
guupowder-
eye-stOne
May every day Of his life be more despotIc than
the Dey OF Agiers
Nav he never be permitted to kiss pretty woman.
Nav he be bored TO death by boarding-schOol mis-
Sos practising their first lesson music, without the
priviIeze of seeing his tormentOrs-
May , 40 night mares trot quarter races over his
stomach every night
fshing-lines break.
Nav mis- coffee De sweetened with flies, and his tea
cup seasoned with spiders
May his cattle die of murrain, and the pigs de-
Nav a troop Of printers devils lean, lank and
hungry dog his heels each day, and regiment OF
cats caterwaul under his window each night.
Nav the famine-stricken ghost Of an editors baby
bsunt his sIumbers, and hiss - Murder IN his
dreaming ear
In short. may his business go 20 ruin. and he g
to-COngress.
TIE NEcH,x1c-It is the patient. tOiling, perse
-s-ing mechanic that leaves footprints behind him
AMI such our youth must become IL the top stone o.
This magnificent superstructure - TO be laid viii
outIug Of grace. grace unto It. Bot such they vii
not cannot be, without regular system Of training
AMI Why should they not enter and submit 10 ih'
Jis-inIiue Of this schOOl2 Can they obtain position
J ,roulotion in the Navy and Army Of our Govern
11sDt upon easier terms Can they obtain the charg
81 the books Of bankIng or commercial house
- Insurance otfice-wIthOut the discipline IN the ar
- hook keeping Will they dare assume the respOn
fbflitv Of the management Of any business withou
rr.vi6us training and discipline But. perhaps
r. aversion j. not a. much IN the minds Of YOU
-c,tb A. IN the minds and hearts Of their parents
:. What nv sOn a mechanic I! / scorn the Thought
Ne son shall be a scholar, shall adOrn profession
Ell an honorable position IN the government OF hi
,,rtrv Well SAID. But, II what you say IS true
xbv not give him educational advantages, until h
-.arbes the proper age, and then encourage him q
.,uirs trade. only the best and safest roa'
= an indepenient and useful life, but 10 the honor
-, ,ou believe are ia for him IN the temple o
flmeS =, .-.-- - H. -..-5,,
81. ,nnr.uticeship, and lbOring as mechanic
yy.- Washington ruined by carrying Surveyor
.h.in through che swamps and briars OF Virginia
Wa Roger Williams consigned TO Iniamy oy nam
r,erip,, on n lap stone: OR Elhu Burret by th
-, a9J sp.rks Of the anvil Away with your arls
Iocratie notions man-yOu don't aPPrehend the sPr
:, ~ the age-IIaye you not heard that labor J
King and Is about assume the government oi I'M
isnJs Already she has placed one her favorIte son
= che Chair Of State in Old Massachusetts and other
:. ,be Senate Chamber Of our country, and electe'
anosber man 10 the Presidential Chsir