East Saginaw courier. (East Saginaw, Mich.) 1859-18??, 1861-03-21
From the n. Y Mercury.
Doesficks on Babies.


: complete, for there wasn't any baby il, il
SO Mr. Adam and his 'lady,' az Jenkin
/. would say, procured one-and ver
pretty mess they made OF il. WHY
, Cain was the sort Of baby we produce i
: the five Points-s regular Mulberry
, streter-a Cow Bay brat, Hooker,
Dead Rabbit, and Plug Musser, all il
, one. A sweet specimen, truly. How
ever, il didn't make much difference wha
kind of baby he was; for any hahy ths
ever was horn not an IDIOT wonld have
! climbed over the walls in the first si'
months, to see what was on the onfside
a jolly time three .vear-olier woult
have had in paradise; he'd have tied tn,
spakes in hard knots round the neck. o
the pirailcs, made the lions live on hick
orv nnts aud marbles, and fastened til
kettles to the tails of all the tigcrs.
But though the frs: NAV he consider
ed rather a failure than otherwise, and
was probably a severe blow to that
branch of industry in its youth, practice
aud experience have done much to i'm
prove the article Of baby; so that, now,
an infant with all the modern Improve.
ments i iniiSpcnsalle IN eve well REQ
ulatpd iamjly.' 81 mnch 50 inleel, that
not few bachelors hnd themselves ma
able 10 d. without il; and, consequently,
snrreiiptious babies are not unknown in
the land. In fact baby Is thing so
useful, So ornamental, aud soun gei-along-
withoutahlc, that no man who has over
had one would henceforth try to do with
out it.
Many people ADOPT babies, Of other
people; prefer the home male article.
I think il is ali things considered, alto
gether more satisfactory.
Which is the case with Trnmps.-
Trumps is NV habv, and I'll match him
against all the world for heing the most
satisfactory and thoroughly ENJOYABLE
nuisance ever grown in this country
Wv observations of that dimunitive young
person are frequent rather like him,
hut I sometimes have to favor the Hon.
Ncmher from Bahv,lom with an express
sion of my sentiments in an emphatic
manner in which lie does not entirely
cOReur.
There are in fact, several points on
which we do not thoroughly arr"e.
On the question of whiskcr. pulling, Tor
instance, he goes fnr barring one sile of
mv--facc at single giah, while thinli
that if he would content himself with
one or two hairs at a time. they would
last the longer. On the sahiect of trca1-
ing on NV toes, there il M serinns diff
ference of opinion; bnt I do object to
dumb bells, and hammers hciRg used to
pound INV corns with; neither do fully
approve of being made target for mar
bles, Jumps of coal paperweights and an
occas onal inkstand.
am fond Of bread and milk; but I
don't believe ! can he satisfactorily fed
hy having that lacteal food poured on
top Of my head. / hold the same opinion
with regard to molaSses, and rice pud-
dings and mashed potatoes, and gravey
of every description-in all Of which, ]
regret tn say, Master Trumps differs with
me, aud acts accordingly. When the
top Of my head isn't flooded with milk.
or defuged with mo'as,cs, it is inundated
with very soft rice pndding, or surmonnt-
cd with little mound of mashed potato,
with not unfre quen,y piece Of sausage
stuck up in IL for flag staff.
Trump. thinks he can improve tho
regularity of my features, by poking ont
my eye with the drum stick, by tlatten-
ing my nose with a poker, aud knocking
ont my teeth with broom handle -in
all of which respectfully beg leave to
differ with the honorable gentleman.-
His c'sstent efforts, howeve-, to con
veit ne to his wav of thinking by actua.
experiment, show a promise ut pcrsever.
altcc which hope soon to direct into
more agreeable channel.
He's great musical genius; he per-
fo,m, with tremendous vigor cn the drum,
and his blasts Oh the tin tr 'mpcts are
well, cone up some time within block |
or two Of the house. and hear for yonr-
self HIS fauts sias on the piano are de.
cidediy original, especially when he has
a piece of pio ia each hand, aud is com
PEELED to resort to his Asels.
Some fellow once said that it is i'm. :
possible to do two things at once. I'll
engage Trumps Ia convince him Of his :
error in three minutes and half Two
known him fight the nurse with one hand |
pull his own hair with tho other, kick
me with both feet, and scream like a
sncking locomotive, all at once; and it
doesn't seem to fatigue him cithor. for
he'll 10 it 10y the hour together, if he
thinks necessary. Hcs got more yell in
him than any baby ever saw; however,
he'll soon get it all out, at the rate hos
going on at this present moment.
The tremendous cgo,ism Of baby 10
not matched anywhere in the whole social
or animal kingdom. Trumps, for in
stance, imagines that the world was made
for his special pleasure. He thinks the
Sun, Moon and Stars are simply play.
things for him, and that all men to say
nothing Of the women, were created Jus:
to serve his royal pleasure.
In connection with babies, Grand |
mothers arc study. Is Trumps cross,
ugly, rampsgioas, aud unmanageably |
his blessed Grandmother
has hundred excuses read principally, |
however, teetl; is His Majesty mad, and
yelling at the top Of his by-no-means
weak voice: il no living Hat on his back,