Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1861-09-19
ARTEMUs WARD SEES THE PRINCE
NAPOLEON


papers Of late, nobody needn't Aatter their
selves that the undersined is ded. On the con-
try, 81 still live" which words was spoken by
Danvil Webster, who was able man. Even
the old-line wings Of Boston will admit that.
Webster is dsd now, howsever, and his mantle
has probly fallen into the hands Of some dealer
In 2nd hand close, who can't sell it. Least
ways nobody pears to be goin round wearin it
TO any particler extent, now days. The rigi-
ment Of whom was kurnel fnerly concluded
they was better adapted as Home Cards, which
accounts for your not hesrin Of me, ear this,
where the bsuls is the thickest and. where the
cannon doth roar. But as American citizen
shall never eease to admire the mastery ad-
vance our troops made on Washington from
Bull Run, short time ago. 1t was well dun.
/ spoke to my wife bout it at the time. My
wife said il was well dun.
1t having there4 bin determined to pertest
Baldinsville at all hazards, and as there was
no apprehsnsiOns of any immejit danger, 1
thought l would 90 Off onto a pleasure tower.
Accordingly put on a clean Billed Shirt and
started for Washington. went there to see
the Prints Napoleon, and not to see the place,
which i will here take occasion to obsarve is
about as uninterestin locality as there is this
side Of ]. Davis's futer home, if he ever does
die, and where 1 reckon they'll make it so
warm for him that he will 81 for his summer
close. 1t is easy enuf to see why q man goes
10 the poorhouse or the penitentisry. It's be-
caUs he can't help it. But why he should
Voluntarily 90 and live in Washington is en-
tireiy beyond my comprehension, and can't
say no fairer nor that.
put up to q leadin hotel. / saw the land
lord and sed, 60 How dye do, Square!
Fifty cents, sir" was the reply.
Half dollar. We charge twenty Eve cents
for kookt1 at the landlord and fifty cents for
speakin to him. If you want supper, a boy
will show you to the dinin room for twenty five
cents. Your room bein in the tenth story, it
will cost you dollar to be shown up there. :"
How much do you ak man for breathin in
this equinomikal tavun?" said 1.
Ten cents Breth," was his reply
Washington hotels are very reasonable in
sent up keerd to the Prints, and was i'm
mejitly ushsred before him. He received me
kindly and axed me to sit down.
49," have cum to pay respecks to you, Mister
Napoleon, hoEin see you hale and harty."
II am quite we'll, he sed; "air you we'll,
"Ssund as a cuss, answered
He seemed to Be pleased with my ways, and
We entered into conversation to onct
Hou's Lewis?" axed, and he sed the En-
peror was we'll. Eugeny was likewise well, he
sed. Then axed him was Lewis a good pro-
wider? Did he cum hom home arly nites7 Did
he perfOom her bedroom at q onsessonable
hour with gin and tanzy? Did he 20 to the
Lodge on mites when there wasn't any Lodge?
Did he often hav to 20 down town to meet q
friend! Did be hay a extensix acquaintance
among poor young vidders whose husbans was
in Calhorny? TO all of which question the Prints
perlitely replide, giyin me to understan that
the Emperor was behavin we'll.
sx these questions, my royal duke and
most noble higness and imPerials, becaws I'm
anxious to know how he stands as q man I
know he's smart. He is cunnin, he is long
.1.1 L. - h.; = D.
Is good he'll como down with . crash one of
these days, and the Bonyparts will be Bustid
up sgin. Bet yer life"
Air you preacher, sir'' he inquire, slitely
sarkssticul.
.'No. sir But bleeve in morality. I like
wise bleeye in Meetin Houses. Show me
place where there isn't any Meetin Houses and
where preachers is never seen, and I'll show
you place where old hats air stuffed into
broken Uinders, where the children air dirty
and ragged, where gates haY no hinges where
the uimin air slipshOd, and where maps of the
devils wild land air painted upon mems
shirt-bosums with tobacco iooce. That's what
I'll show you. Let Us consider what the
preachers do Tor us before we aboose EN-"
He sed be didn't mean to aboOse the clergy
Not at all, and he was happy to see that was
interested in the BOnypart family.
"Its CRATE family, " sed 1. " But they
scooped the old man in"
How, sir!"
Napoleon the grand The Britishers scoor.
ed him at Waterloo He wanted to do too
much, and he did it! They scooped him in at
Waterloo, and be subsequently died at st. He
leny, There's where the greatest military man
this world ever produced pegged out. 1t was
rather hard TO consine such a man as him TO
81 Heleny TO spend bis days in cstchin mack
ri, and walkin up and down the dreary beach
in military cloak, drawn titely round him,
(see picter books but 90 ii was. He'd Of the
Army" Them was his last words So he had
bin. He was CRATE. Don't wish we had
pair Of his old boots to command sum of our
briyadesi"
This pleased Jerome and he took me warmly
by the hand.
Alexander the Crate was punkins," con.
tinnerd, but Napoleon was Punkinser, Alic
wept becaWs there was no more worlds TO scoop,
and then took to drinkin. He drowndid his
sorrers in the 6owin bOle, and the howin bole
was too much for him. 1t ginrally is He IN.
dertook to Civ q snake exhibition in his boots
butit killed him. That was bad Joke for AIic,'
Since you air 30 solicitous about France and
the Emperor, may l ask you how your own
country is getting along?" sed Jerome, in q
pleasant voice.
ats mixed" ssd. "But think We shall
cum out all right.
Columbus, when ho diskiyered this mag
nihoent continent, could hav had ne idee of
the grandeur II would one day assoom," sed
the Prints.
cit cost Columbus twenty thousand dollars to
ft out bis explorin expedition" sed I. eff he
had bin q sensible man he'd hav put the money
ina hoss railroad or q gas company, and left this
magnificent continent to the intelligent savages
who when they got hold of good thing knew
enuf 10 keep IL, and who wouldn't hav seeded
nor rebelied, nor knockt Liberty in the he'd
with slungshot. Columbus wasn't much of
afsller after all 1t would hav bin money in
my pocket II he'd sIaid TO home Chris. ment
well, but he put his foot in it when he sailed
for America"
We talked sum more about matters and
things, and st last I riE to 60. "I will now
say good bye to you, noble sir, and good luok
to you. Likewise the same to Clotildy. Also
TO the gorgeous persons which compose your
SCOT. II the Emperor's boy don't like livin at
the TOoleries, when be gifts older, and would
like TO imbsrk in the show biEniss, let him
come with me and I'll make Q man Of him.
You 6nd as sumwhst mixed, as before OBJ
sarved, but come sgin next year and you'll
md Us elearner nor ever. The American