Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1861-01-04
WATERFOWL REPUBLICAN.
The Man Who SCARED the Horn

horn at camp meeting, so that when he
wanted to call the congregation together
he blew the "s2f soap" over his brother
clergymen, and how he exclaimed =
Brethren, | have served the Lord thirty
years, and in that time never uttered pro-
fame word, but III be cusseI if I can't whip
the man that soaped that horn p
Our readers we dare say have all heard
this, but have not heard the SEQUEL as civ
en- by gentleman present.
Some two days after, tall swarthy,
Yillainous looking desr crado stroled along
the ground and leaned against the tree,
listening to the eloquent exhortation to re-
pent which was being made by the preach
er. After while he became interested,
finally affected, then taking a position on
the anxious seat, commenced groaning in
"the very bitterness Of his sorrow"
The clergyman walked down, and en-
deaYored to console him. No consolation
he was too great sinner, he said. O.!
no-there was pardon fer the vilest. No,
He was too wicked there was no mercv
for him.
Why, what crime haye you committed :?
said the preacher: Have YOU stolen?
Oh. worse than that
What, have you by violence robbed Ge-
male innocence If its virtue?
Worse than that-oh worse than that
Murder, is it? gasped the Mortified
preacher
Worse than that, groancd the smitton
sinner
The excited preacher commenced '.peeI-
ing off, his garments.
Here, brother Cole shouted he, Hold
my coat I've found the fellow that soap
ed that horn
A HEAVY BLow-A colonel, who is
fond of telling tough 'uns, especially sto-
ries of which he himself is the hero, lately
drew the long bow after the following fash
on:
was once in Montpelier, saws the
colonel, son official business. During nv
stay horse-race came off near the capt.
tol and as | am rather partial to horse
racing, | went to see it. just as the
horses were about starting, some fellow in
suited me by jostlng me rather roughly
Now, you know l don't often fight, but
when | strike, then | do strike. So I up
with my fist, and hit him blow that sent
him against tho fence into field, CARRYING
with him nine sections of posts and rails. |
The feI low lay short time, then raising
himsel to sitting posture, he looked Wild |
ly around him. Gentlemen said he. has
the stdrm done much damage? Did the |
lightning strike anybody but me p .
IT LEAKS. friend, says an exchange.
returning from the depot few mornings
since with bottle Of freshly imported
Maine Law, saw young lady he must
inevitably join. So putting the bottle un-
der his arm, he softly walked along side.
"Well, said the young lady, after dispo-
sing OF health and weather, what is that
under your arm, - from which she discoy-
cred dark fluid dropping.
''Oh nothing but a coat the tailor has
been mending for me-
''Oh, it's coat is it? Well, you'd bet
ter carry 1T back and get him to sew up
one hele more-it leaks.
HINTS TO TIPPIERs.-When YOU feel
PARTICULAR y DESTROYS Of having another glass
leave off drinking You have enough.
When you look at distant object, and
appear to see two, leave off. You have
had too much.
When you knock over your glass. spill
your wine over the table, or unable to re-
collect the words of song you have been
n the hadlt Of singing for the last twenty
,ear8, leave the company. You are get
ing to be very troublesome.
When you nod and fall off your chair,
n lurch on your neighbours sholder, 60 to
bed. You are drunk.
Coon ADVICE doctor, ," said certain
qure, after reading the prescription of a
physician whom i'll health had Obliged him
consult, do you think that very little
pnlts now and then would hurt me very
much ?" 'N-'
why no, sir. answered the doctor.
cry deliberately, a do not know that a 7
title now and then would hurt YOU very
luch but, sir, if you don't take any. It 4
ont hurt you at all. "
The people of Pittsburgh have inter
osed to prevent the shipment of the arms
nd munitions stored in that place to the
outh, where traitorous administrat ton up- W
ouotedly intended delivering them to the be
nemles Of the Union. The people are
istlted IN resorting to revolutionary Al
easureS IN such an exigency. tn
A large invoice of cotton from Perm
IS been received in New York, which.
ON samples, would readily command the
CHEST price paid fer that article. The I
ant from which it is taken is said to be !
renneial shrub in Peru, Indigenous to e
e soil, the growth of which already ex- :
nds over considerable tract of country,
d needing only little labor in the way :
cultivation to yield large returns, i
The Adams Co. independent saws As As
at Hon. Moses NJ. Strong, of Mineral i 1@
mt has been in town, soliciting the aid ~
our citizens in procuring petitions of the
ople OF that county 20 the legislature, CT
enact a law exempting from taxation Sc
tam lands to be acquired by a railroad
npany for the construction of railroad
m Dodge Co to St Croix River
SHERIFF'S SALE. N