The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1861-07-27
ROW TOM AND KEPT HOUSE.

our room, wondered how family of only
three persons could make so much work,
and why our landlsdy should, on some par
ticular days, keep on her feet from morn
till night. Although we could appreciate
the clear coffee, the tender steak, and the
light biscuits that were placed before US,
we could perform them in half the time,
and not SO much fuss about it, either and
we had more than once freely expressed our
opinions as to the manner with which house
hold affairs should be treated. But the
merry twinkle in the eye of our good -natur-
ed lady, and the oft-repeated expression,
ga mans work is from sun to sun, but a
woman's work is never done," did not con-
vince US, and old bachelors like we began
to think of home of our own, where we
could have the privilege of trying our hand
at the culinary business provided Mrs.
SOMEBODY was willing.
One evening, as we sat down to the table,
our landlady informed US that she had been
called out of town to a sick friend. and as
she expected to be absent for few days,
she would try and find some one to take
charge of the house and its occupants.
Tom and protested against this unnec-
essary trouble, for was not this the oppor-
tunity we had so long been wishing for
We were large enough to take care of our
selves, and she need have no fears on our
account.
After much entreaty on our part, and
Directing on the lady's part, consent was at
last won for us to act for ourselves, and after
showing US the barrels, irkins and boxes
containing the ingredients used in cooking,
and delivering the keys of the store-room
and closets. our landlady bade US good bye.
with wish that we might have a pleasant
as well as profitable time.
The anticipated baking of the morrow
possessed for US more charms than did ever
box of marbles in our boyhood days.
That evening we read ali the recipes con-
tanned in the cook book, from making bread
to frosting wedding cake, and in our own
conceit, thought we were wise enough to do
anything.
The next morning we made a visit to the
closet to see what provisions were left for
the day-but alas! were forcibly reminded
of the old nursery song, "Old Mother Hub
bard went to the cupboard" &C.; but in
stead of finding it bare, we found proof suffi
cient of a midnight revel, and we both
exclaimed "The rats %
1t was arranged that Tom should kindle
the fire and make the coffee, while l mixed
bread and laid the table. Tying on my
apron to keep my pants clean, L went to
work. The -four was sifted, but what next?
The cook book was now consulted "a
little saleratus, yeast, and salt according tc
your Judgment
"Tom," says I, 'what does this mean
salt according to your judgment %
"Why, don't you know a cupful, of
course. thought you knew how to make
bread - and Tom blew into the stove till
his face was what might have been called
celestial red."
went to the stove, and found the damp
ers were closed.
II must say, Tom, if you were as long
kindling flame in lady's heart as you
have been in this stove, your future pros
poets are not fattering. l thought you
knew how to make FIRE ~
Ny bread had been in the oven about an
hour, and although l had looked at it, and
turned it round, it looked as fiat as when
first put it into the pan. By our united eff
forts, we succeeded in building fire, and
soon the fragrant smell of coffee filled the
room. The table was laid, and we were pa
tiently waiting for the bread to bake.
"What on earth are you doing, Tom?"
exclaimed, as l saw him at work upon an
old fsh-skin.
"Why, settling the coffee, to be sure
didn't you tell me to put fish into it? and
haven't put in half one, as yet"
90 dear !" l groaned, ''your ears and
generous disposition will be the death of
you, yet I said a piece of fsh-skin-bui
perhaps it is better than it looks salt is
good, you know"
The bread began to look brown, and we
decided that it was done-brown. While
placing it upon the table, heard groan,
and faint "Come here, Bob" from the
kitchen.
Tom had poured hot water upon his
hand, and he sat upon the floor, blowing
turiously upon his fingers.
"Soft soap is good; go put your hand
into the pot of soap in the cellar
"Oh, murder murder !" came in tones
of agony from the region below; 'tsoft soap
is good for burns, is it ?" and Tom came W
with tears streaming down his face, aud the
salt brine dripping from his hand.
"Confound this housekeeping don't you
say so, Bob? Let US have some breakfast
or the coroner will have case of starvation
| to investigate"
| We sat down to the table, but before we
had eaten two mouthfuls of bread, or swal-
lowed two draughts of coffee, we came to
the conclusion that the waters of the far
famed Salt Lake could not equal our coffee,
and if one of the biscuits were hung about
PERSONS neck. it would prove milestone
We began to ahalyze the saline subjects be-
fore US, and we unanimously agreed that
"saleratus and salt according to your judg-
ment" was no judgment at ALL
The striking of the clock warned US tina;
it was time we were on our way to the of
fee. We compared notes, and found that
we had been just three hours preparing our
delicious breakfast.
eleven o'clock found US taking lunch
at Taylor's.)
Aswe had been disappointed in the morn
| ing, we were determined to make pies and
cakes; they were much easier than bread,
for beginners. So, two hours before the
usual time for closing our office. we bade
adieu to books and documents, and were
hurrying home to profit by the experience
of the morning meal.
| We could not bat miss the cheerful face
| the blazing fire aud we'll laid table that al
ways greeted our return from our daily toll
! but we soon banished these THOUGHTS BY