Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1861-12-01

NCii care, 4 replied NOW VIII ~" 49,
and let ne 20 to sleep or mott"
ooh, yes, go to sleep if you want to- she
answered; and another brief silence ensued,
broken by my wife sobbingly excIaiming:
"OuIy nine wears next june since we were
married. and to hear you say now that you don't
know or care when it took place, is perfectly hor-
rible, and something | never expected to hear
from your lips.
We'll, now tlat you have heard it, l exclaim-
/ ed, "Itust You viii be able now to go 10 sleep,
for ] tell you positively that ifthere be one thing
/ dislike more than another, &c is to hear you talk
after midHight.'
Having uttered this, ] grew Che bedclothes
closer about me, shut my eyes firmly, and went
70 sIeep-almOSt.
" Husband !' somebody said close by me.
"Weil, Wifi, what IS t}"I inquired.
"Idid't mean everything said to you To-
night she continued.
NOR |, l added, g everything l said to you.
Goodnight
Are You sleepy ?" she inquired
" Yes goodnight" 1 replied,
Goodnight she answered.
NUMBER II.
My dear I said to the lady who was seated
! opposite to me at the breakfast table, and who
has the good fortune to be my wife, IF there be
! one thfng dislike more than another, it is to re-
/ ccive a cup Of coffee that looks as if it had been
slipped from before it reached my hands. Have
mot often asked You to I'll my emp 10 within
an eighth of an inch Of the rim, and not give 10
TO me half or thfee-quarters full ~
''You are as particular as an OldbachelOr, the
estimable lady replied, 'and if had known 1t
before l married you, this day would not have
seen me your wife. There, sir, is your cup OF
coffee. l hope it viii suit you
Good gracious y, ] exclaimed, as | took the
ann, g11n1.- zroYfvn rrauaoroI In nm II gynT ON
! certainly must he aware that IL there is one thing
l dislike more than another, it is to find slops IN
my saucer"
well, if you viii insist ON my filling the cup,
| YOU must expect that sometimes l shall spill It
over; beside, your finding fault with me does no
good, but makes me nervous, aud causes my
hand to tremJle, so that l only wonder there Is
hany coffee left in tie cup. But here is a clean
saucer. IN place Of the one you have.
Having effected this important change, /
tasted the contents of my cup. 1t was evident
to me that there was no sugar it il. ] tasted It
again to make certain of the fact. Then said
to her:
"You have neglected TO put sugar into my cot
fee. It there be one thing l dislike more than
another, it is coffee unsweatened"
Il am certain replied my estimable spouse,
"that / did sweeteu it. don't think you have
stirred it
- 4 AaAON 4 nave Il o'fNAS
"Not with your spoon said the provoking
woman, "for it is perfectly dry; perhaps, how
ever, you used your fork"
'sPshaw 90 was all the answer I vouchsafed to
this remark.
Now, 1 declare Isaid, after having stirred
and slipped my coffee, you have made it too
sweet. II there be one thing / dislike more than
| another. it is to have my coffee taste like syrup
"Let me put more milk with il, then ?" said
the obliging woman.
.No.I thank you,'' 1 replied, II don't care
to have my stomach turned into a dairy. II
there be one thing dislike more than another, IL
is milk. / gave up milk diet when cut my first
teeth"
1T is to be hoped that yen will give up the
habit Of taUlt-fudiug, which you possess in an
eminent degree, when you come to cut your wis
dom teeth, though no one can tell when that
will be-
Thank you, ~Irephed; you will probably
be the first who will know it when it occurs
"And a happy day it viii be for me- she an
| swered, with provoking calmness. Pew know,
though, how much unhappiuess your constant
~fault-hnding causes me. Nothing l do seems 20
give you satisfaction. There isn't a moment
I e~lapses, while YOU are in the house, save when
your're asleep, but you srethu5 occupied. The
truth is, / have always been too indulgent with
Won. and humor You when | ought not | did
not commence right in the first place. / should
have paid no attention to your whlms, but
studied my own convenience and comfort IN
| stead Of seeking to make every thing smoOthand
pleasant for you. Then 1 would have got along
much better. On, YOU men are great tyrantsi
and il a woman yields 10 you in the least, you
follow up your advantage, and bend her will 20
/ yours. and crush her spirit 90 the earth; TIL, by
and by, you break her heart
my dear, 1 win thank you for another cup Of
coffee" 1 said, passing my cup TO her; but be
careful not to run It over, nor get it too. SWEET,
nor put in too much milk. What an iutolerabis
steak this is, I added, 1T is tough enough TO
have been cut from one Of the cattle p%astured
upou a thousand hills, more than a thousand
years ago. II there be one thing l dislike more
/ than another, iti Is a tough beeisIeak
you ordered it yourself from the market, so
you needn't find fault with me on account OF It.
I knew it was tough the moment 1 looked atit-'
Then why didn't you send it back I'm
quired.
Because, as It was your selection, I supposed
you wanted q tough one; besides, If | had re-
turned il, You would have found fault with me
for doing So.
well, l can't eat it, that's certain, l said 80
lit had better be taken of the table. ] shan
throw any mere money away on beels,eaks.'
ooh, Il viii answer for hash, said my eco
nomical wife, 'and you can have it for dinner.
Hash ~ l exclaimed. III there be one thing
/ dislike more than another, 1t is hash. Hash Is
only fit for children and old people without teeth
Besides, It IS a popular dish at boarding school.
and boarding houses; and when l was aboy, aHC
afterward while a bachelor, l ate my share OF It
and Pm not going to eat any more. No, weWil
have a turkey for dinner
VERY well,7 said my spouse, "a turkey lei
it be. Shall 1 see to getting one l'
Il think not, 1 answered. The fact is, tina
all the turkeys you select turn out to be like tin
celebrated one OF which Job was the Tepute'
owner-poor and tough. No, III buy the tur
key, and you can cook II"
avery well, said lhe i~mperturbable lady.
but how will you nave it cooked D.
ooh, any way; suit yourself, | answered.
"Tben think l VIII roast il" she replied.
"Roast il ~ | exclaimed. That is Just Xix,
Won. Now, you know if there be one thing
r dislike more than another, tits to have a tmke.
roasted
Very well, then said the accommodating
woman, Il viii boil it,
.Boii tn' | said aghast. Boil soup, boil lam
Z chops, boil cherries, if you like, but never, 70
me, boil a turkey"
fPray, then, how win you have it cooked
Only tell me and it shall be done
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. 1t, Of course,
answered, triUmphantiy.
"VeTy well said the lady, looking, howeYe
as if it were not very well
! why cant you say something else beside
! very wclI!' / asked. WHAT a pToyokin
: woman you are, to be sure
r Not half as provoking as you are she II
piled.
Now, then, you wish to make me angry,
suppose; but you can't do it, [ said. 81 hav
put up with everything although breakfast an
! / am not going to be provoked Just as an m
: ishiug."
$ lam sure / 10 not wish to provoke you
y my wife said, in a most innocent and agrieYe'
manner.
but you most certainly do provoke me, ] re
piled.
c softened tone, ''for such was not my intention.
Hooked across the table at nay wife somethin
: like a tear rolled down her cheek.
d Goodness - I whispered to myself, Il hay
/, made my wife weep What-a-what-a-Dfut
y I am"
G Then, speaking aloud, Ioxclaimed
T Darling ~
d "WeH," was her calm reply.
e "Do you know" l continued that II Their
be one thing / dislike more than another, iii
tear"
She answered simply with a sad smile.
r Sweetheart, said.
II asWelIF ~
1 Cook theturkey any way you please,
She shook her head.
Il TIeft nv seat, (having finished my breakfast,