The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1861-04-17
How Not to Do it.

lngton as follows:
AS you will perceive, am still taber-
nacling in this humiliating attempt at a
great city. Il am extremely disgusted
with Washington. 1 would like to meet,
at 4 social gathering of four, the minis
ters of England, France, and Russia, fresh
from the aplcrdora of London, Of Paris,
and of st. Petersburg, and get them to
tell me candidly what they think Of the
Capital CT this g.cat nation. I thinl, /
shall do il before I leave here. Every
thing in Washington is nninishcd-cY-
ccpt the contents of the Federal Treasvl-
1y. Piles of brick, mortar, lumber, &C.,
are scattered everywhere, but the work
men seem to tc perpctually gone to din
ncr. There's the new dome on the Capt.
toll They have been hammering away
at it for number of years, and it is not
finished yet If they had been employed
by the JOB they would have had it done
IN twelve or eighteen months; but they
are employed on heavy salaries, and by
the day. and don't care how long it takes
thcm-tho longer the better. They climb
to the come occasionally, pull off their
coats, take onctug at u bar Of iron pull of
thcircoati again, and go oifandstayaweek.
The whole thing is q regular swindle, and
The government seems to like it--pcrhaps
because it is SC much like Che government.
This dome, when completed, will have
cost about one million of dollars, and will
have been four, or five, or six years in
building. can go to Nashville and have
one Just like ii put up in twelve months
for half thc money, and clear q large for
tune by the job.
IF all the money that has been appro-
priatcd for public buildings, and other i'm
provemcnts in Washington, had been ju-
diciously and honestly expended, this
would be to-day one Of The finest cities in
the world Asitis, considering all things,
it is next to no city at all. ii.iao govern
menL should have occasion 10 buld pig
pen six feet square, it couldn't possibly
be done for less than fifty thousand dol
lars. exclusive of The salaries of the super
intendcnt, the craftsman, and the cngin-
ccr. which would bc about three thousand
dollars each. If private enterprises
throughput The country swallowed up
money as remarkably fast as public ones
do here, you couldn't get your boots black
cd without incllrring an expense Of hun-
drcd dollars to save your life.
The way the government gets its work
donc is curious AS an illustration, you
and your family meet III convention cf
the whole, adopt u resolution authorizing
the construction Of hen-coop in your
back yard. .ou at once appoint me SUI
pcrintendent Of the work, putting thou
sand or two of GclIars in bank for me to
check on. get you to appontmy broth
in-law chief engineer. L appoint two of
my brothers assistant superintendent,
and my brother-in-law appoints two OF
his brothers assistant cngincers-all at
your expense. We buy Us each q fast
horse and buggy, and ride around town,
drink cocktails and play billiards, until
the bank deposit gives out, when we make
out printed report of sevcnty-thrce pa
rcs. furnishing YOU a complete topograph-
ical survey Of your back yard, and vast
amount of statistical information with re-
gard to the number Of hens you are like
ly to have for the next forty years. We
wind up the report with the announce
ment that the site of the hen-coop has been
selected, and call for another appr9pri:-
ton to prosecute the work, which we as
sure you will be done with vigor." You
place another thousand or two in bank,
and employ two hundred hands, at three
dollars day, to transport scventy-five
cents worth of lumber (Which costs under
our management ten times that many dol
lars), to the place Of operations, which re-
Glircs about three months. In the mean
time, we drive around and so on visor-
ously with the liquor and the billiards.
We then come up with another report and
u demand for another appropriation
With this VIC get the walls OF the struc-
turo up, and with one or TWO moreappro-
ations, and great many moro cocktails
and Billiards, We get the thing covered in,
and at the end Of twelve months, which
we very appropriately style our fiscal