The Tiffin weekly tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1859-1868, 1861-10-11

~ CNAiheAhg w aAA VI NulNu tluto
tions the Prints perlitely replied
given me to understand that tn,
Emperor was behavin we'll.
a ak these questions, my roya
duke and most noble highness an,
imperials, becaws I'm anxious 3,
know how he stands as a man.
know he's smart. He is ounnin
he is long heded, he is CRATE. Blu
onless he is good he'll come dowr
with q crash one of these days, auC
the Bonyparts will be Busted NJ
agin. Bet yer lifep
Are you a preacher, sirp he in
lquired, slitely sarkasticul.
No, sir. But bleeve in morali
Ity. l likewise bleeve in Meetir
Houses. Show me a place where
there isn't any Meetin Houses and
where preachers is never seen, and
I'll show you a place where old
hats air stuffed in 10 broken wind.
ers, where the children air dirty
and ragged, where gates have nc
hinges, where wimmen air slip.
shod, and where maps ofthe devils
wild land are painted upon mems
shirt busums with tobacco iuicel--
That's what III show you. Let us
consider whOt the preachers do foi
us before we aboose en-
lie said he didn't mean to aboosC
the clergy. Not at all, and he we,
happy to see that / was interested
in the Bonypart family.
Its agrate family, sed l. 'But
they scoopcd tho old man in
How, sirp
Napoleon the Grand. Tho Brit
ishers scooped him at Waterloo
he wonted to do too much, and he
did III They scooped him at Wa
terloo, and he su6sekently died al
st. Helenyl There's whore the
greatest military man this world
ever prejuced pegged out. 1t was
rather hard to consine such a man
as him to So. Heleny, to spend his
larst days in catchin macEeril, and
walkin up and down the dreary
lbeach in a military clook drawr
titely round him, (see picter. books
but so it was. He'd Of the ARMY
Them was his last words. So h,
had bin. lie was gratel Don't
wish we had a pair of his old boots
to command sum of our Brig
adesp \
This pleased Jerome, and he tool
me warmly by the hand.
ALEXANDER the Crate was pun,
kins,' | continered, but Napoleon
was punkinserl Alic wept becawt
there was no more worlds to scoop
and then took to drinkin. He
drowned his sorrcrs in the flown
bole, and the howin bole was to1
much for him. ltginerally is. lie
undertook to give a snake exhibi
ton in his boots, but it killed him
That was a bad joke for Alicl'
'Siuce you arc solicitous about
France and the Emperor, may
ask you how your own country is
getting alongP said Jerome in a
pleasant voice. Hr
Its mixed, sed. 'But | think
we shall cum out all right
Columbus, when he diskivered
this magnificent continent, could
have ad no idee of the grandurC
it would one day assoOm, said the
Prints. ..rE
1T cost Columbus twenty thou
sand dollars to fit ont his exploring
expedition, scd /. 'If be had been
a sensible man, he'd hav put the
money in a hoss railroad or a gas
company, and left this magnificent
continent to the intelligent savag
es, who, when they got hold of I
good thing, knew enuff to keep it
and who wouldn't have seeded mo-
knocked Liberty in the he'd with {
slungshot, Columbus wasn't muci
Of a Teller, after all. Il would hay
bin money in my pocket If he'd
staid TO home. Christ ment well,
but he put his loot in It when he
sailed for America
We talked sum more about mat.
ters and things, and at larst | riz "a
lgo.
Il will now say good bye to you,
noble sir, and good luck to you
Likewise the same to Clotildy.-
Also TO the gorgeous persons which
compose your SCOT. If the Empe-
ror's boy don't like living at the
TOOleFies, when he gits older, and
would like to imbark in the show
biEniss, let him come with me and
III make a man Ofhim. You find
us somewhat mixed as ] before OBJ.
sarved, but come agin next year
and you'n find us clearer nor ever.
% sS
Then advisin him to keep away
from the Peter Funks auctions Of
the East and the proprietors of cor
ner lots in the West, | bid hin
farewell, and went away. 1lII
Yours muchly, aaaa
WARp,
b. I1 rl (Artemus.)