The Council Bluffs nonpareil. [volume] (Council Bluffs [Iowa]) 1857-1867, 1861-06-01
ARTZMCs WARD m THE sOUTHxRN
COSFEDERACY.
rHE eHow j. coxrr,r1cIrrn

You hav perhaps wondered uharebouss I
was Tor these many dase gone and past.
Perchans you sposed I'd gone to the Toomb
OF the Cappsiess, tho don's know What
those 10. i'sa pop!er noospaper Erase.
Listen to my tail, and be silent tina, We
may here. I've been among the Seseshers.
q earnEn my daily peck by my ligismis per.
feshnn, and havn's had no time to veeli mr.
faeile Quill for ssths Crate Konick paper"
II you'll allow me to kote from your sreo,b.
ful advertisement.
VI ~ success was skaiy, and Likewise had
a narrer scaps for mr. life. IL vha, rye
bin threw is '.Sushern hospitality boa,
which we've hearn 90 mush, then bound
20 ohsarve that they made two much Of me.
They was altogether too lavish with their
a,tenshnns.
went amung the S.se.hers With no feelin,
OF anneEmosisy. vent in my perfesernaI
ca pacisy. ! vas actooassd By one Of the
m ost ioftiest desires that can swell the
human Boozum, viz: TO Civ to the people
their moneys worth, BY shown them
Sagashus Bcesss, and Wax Sfasoots which
venter to say air onsurpast by any other
ssatooss anywheres. ] will not call tina,
man who SCI my ssasoots 10 humbug lier
and boss thief, but bring him be4 me and
III wisher him with one Of my skornful
fsowns.
But to praseed with. my tail. In nv
travis threw ths Sonny South / heard a
heap OF talk about Seseshun, and Dustin up
the Union, but didn't think il mounted to
nothin. The politicians in all the villages
was swearin that Old Abe {some,imes called
the Prahayrie fower) shouldn't never be
noggerated. They also made fools of their
selves in varius ways, but as they was used
to that didn't let il worry ne much, and
the Stars and Strips continered for to wave
over my little tent. Moor over, | was Son
Of Malty and member Of several other
Temperance Societies, and nv wife she was
Il DaUter Of Malty, an | sposed these far
would secoor me the indoonz and perfection
Of all the fu.t famerles. Alas was die.
pnfed. State after State seseshes and it
greed hotter and hotter for the undersigned.
Things cum TO ciimbnacks in a small
town in Alabamy, where | was prematorily
ordered To hnul down the Stars & Strips. A
deppytashuus Of red faced men cum 10 to
the d0re Of nv tent ware was stapdia takin
money (the afternoon exhibishun had com.
msEst, an my ltalyun orgapist was ierkin
his sole-stirrin chimney. ave are cum,
sir" said n milingtarv man in cockt hat,
"upon hi and holey mishun. The Suthern
Eagle IL screamin ,hrsxous this sonny land
pr IDLY and dedantly screamin, sirl"
whats the matter. with him." seq I,
"don't bis viitles sit well on his ssummick7''
"lhGt Eagle, SIR, will continner to scream
all over this Brite and .remenjns land!"
'Wall, lie, him scream. II your Eagle can
amlse hlsself by screamin, let him went y,
The men annoyed me, for was Bizzy maxim
""th..s.nge.
eve are cum, sir, upon matter Of doosy
o
"Ion're right, Gaping. It's every mans
dooty to visit my tent" sei l..
"Ne air cum--'
sAnd that's the reason you are here"
SEE ], lardn one OF my sisery larfs. lthawt
if he wanted to COAX d give him sum Of
m7 sparklin eppysrams.
SSH, you're lnserlent. The plain ques.
ton i, viii you haul DOVE ,heStar -Spangled
Banner, aud hist the Southern aag!'
mary hist !" Those was ms reply.
"lour wax works and beests is then con-
fscated, AMI you air arreeted as a Spy -
Sec !, "My fragrant rose, Of SOFT ern
cline and Bluomla datfodils, what's the prisa
feet OF that seductive looid can you individ.
o0nlly held Y"
They made no reply to that, but scd my
wax iggers was confscatcd. axed them
il that was gineraly the style among thieves
in that country, to WHICH thcy made no re-
ply, but sed | was arrested as Spy and
must 60 to Montgomery in iruns. They was
by this time jined by large crowd Of other
ZnNh rptt ,thn hnlt
.'Hang the bald headed aberlishunist, and
bust up his immortal exhibition!'' was
eersea and tied to stump, and the crowd
went f.. ~ ten.--that waterproof PAVILION
wherein instruction and amusement had
been so muchly combined, at Is cents per
head and tor it all to pieces. Meanwhile
dirty faced boys was THROWN stuns and
empty beer bottles at my massiv brow, and
takln other improper liberties with my per-
san. Resistance was useIea, for a variety
Of reasons, rs readily observed.
The Scseshers conhscated my sasoots By
smnshiu them to attums. They then wen,
aud bust in my cages, letting all the animles
loos, small bus healthy tgsr among the
rest. This tiger has an eccentric way OF
tearing dogs to peaces. and aIier spose
from bis gineral oonduck that ho'd hav no
hesl.ashun ia ssrvin human being in the
same way if he get at them. Excuse me il
was crooi, but larfed boysterrusiy when
| saw the tIgar spring in amung the people.
"Go il, nv sweet cuss - | inardly exelaim-
ed, al forgiv you for bitin of my left thum
/ with oil my heart! Rip 'em up like bully
! tiger whose Lars has bin invaded by Sc
4 seshersl"
I can't say for certain that the tiger ssrisly
/ injured any Of them, but as he WAS seen a
I few DAYS after sum miles distant, with q
! large aud wel!-selected assortment OF seats
/ of trowsis in his mouth, and as he iookt Al
tho bed bin havin sum vilent exercise,
\ rather guess he did. You will therefore
perceive that they didn't conhsoase him
much.
/ was carried to Montgomery in iruns and
placed in durans vial. The jail was ornery
ii,s.s, but the table was lihrally SUPPLIED
with Bakiu an Cahbige. This Was COED
variety. for when didn't HANGER after ba'
kin could help myself - cabbfge. :,
/ had nobody 10 t,lk to nor no,hsn to tais
about, however. and l was ssry lonely
specially on the fra, day; so when the jafsl
parst my lonely sell put the few stray hare'
on the back part OF my he'd I'm bald now
but thare was time when | wore swee
i auburn rinsless) into a. dishhevild stat
a, possible. 4 rollin my eyes like
manyak, cside "Stay, ialsr. stayl ! an
mo. mad but soon shall Sc IL you DON
bring me su,hiu TO talk TOP He brung M
sun newspapers, for which thssksd nm
/ kiAdly.~4-. = - - - 49,
At larss l got interview with Jefferson
] Davi., the President Of the Sushssa Con
thievracy. He was quite perlite, and axes
J me 10 sit down and state my case. ! did "
when he larfed aud sed his gallant men oaf
bin little enthusiastically 10 sonnssica
tin my show.
"Yss,n eek |, "thev eonSseated me
muchlv. had sum hosses con6sested II
The same way oncs." bat the conh.cater