The Democratic press. (Eaton, Preble County, Ohio) 1860-1865, 1861-11-21

die with us again in Eaton if You
dare.
We have for years known that
at Eaton, Ohio, there is to be found
one Of this worlds curiosities III
the form or substance Of Il Board
Of School Examiners. 1t is seldom
we are called upon to witness such
Il ~jocose phenomenon that is, it is
seldom that an Examining School
Board is at the same time a stand
ing committee for the production
and perfection Of the ludicrous.
Whether the Eaton Board is from
one decade to another made up of
the same individuals, we know
not, for we have never heard men
toned the name of a single men,
Der Of the firm in past days nor in
the present; but we must say that
If the Board does ever undergo
changes in its constituent parts,
those parts must be displaced in
some manner so careful as not to
destroy the mental identity of the
grand aggregate. The genius, the
spirit, the consciousness, the out
ward manifestations seem forever
the same.
A few years since it seemed our
duty to raise the question whether
young ladies presenting themselves
before that acute body at Eaton
for the purpose of gaining permits
sion to teach a common school,
must be expected to know EWhy the
salt Lake WaS located in the district
Of Uab,' and must be so humorous
as to know lChat important city lies
south Of the North Polc".' Unless
our public schools are in their
character something akin to the
circus, it is hardly necessary to in
sist that each teacher shall possess
the wit necessary to constitute an
itinerant clown. But our Eaton
friends have peculiar views, and
seem to think that the fitness of a
candidate for the office of teacher
is best determined by the revealed
ability to detect jokes and answer
c%Onundrums. Before us lies a list
Of printed questions fresh from that
prolific fountain and though they
are not particularly humorous, yet
we must say that those raised in
Geography are firstly profound
and lastly ridiculous. In the do
main Of Geography seven items
are taken up ranging from the
Gulf Stream down to the names Of
/ the officers of Preble County, and
happy is the young man or woman
whose knowledge has scope enough
to respond to these inquiries.
What causes the Gulf Stream?'
they demand. Let them demand
till doomsday ifthey wish. 'IVhcrc
does it flow" In reply we would
say it flows along its entire length,
! and, from its very nature as Il
stream, does not stand still at any
point. Has it any effect on the
climate Of any place? If so, whcrc?'
- Where place! 1t cannot be pos
siblo that so learned u body could
mean to ask whM place Oh no.
that body must wish to be inform
ed where on the climate, whether
on the upper part Of the climate Of
any place this Gulf Stream has its
tepefying effect, and this some son
of Erin may answer at his leisure.
what Peninsula south of Rus
STA? and for what notcd?' Thanks
to the Eaton Board for such a
question, for inasmuch as to many
, of hat body's questions no answer
can be given, here is one which a
good coast survey will enable one
to answer a hundred times and be
right every time. We gladly re-
sponu Arabia, noted for its Captain
Riley and its Mahomct Ilindo-
stan, noted for its crotodiles and
; anti-American cotton E; Crimea, no.
: ted for the storm Of bombshells
} which ragged there in the year of
our Lord 1856.
, But, passing by these unimpor-
tant matters, we approach what
might be called Gcoyraphy Proper,
} and yet our Eaton friends have, in
= their modosty, simply designated
the questions as Geography, and
do not intimate 70 the embarrassed
! candidate that his mind must pre-
: pare itself for a higher fight. 'HoW
A long and hoW ride is PrcJte COmty?'
= Come to our aid, oh thou Matte
Brun! And We Mercator, Olney.
Mitchell Smith !, can We not assist
+ us in this hour OF trial? How
$ many townships - Worse and
| worse. Will no one call the sur
-, voyor and grant us a personal in
i tcryiew? There is much at stake 4,
$ But while our soul thus losses up
on the sea of doubt, our eye wan
Y dcrs to the next question, for
= though the present may be absorb
ing, yet the rapid thoughtw will seek