Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1861-10-18
FACT, FUN AND FANCY.


embraces seventeen millions of women"
Who wouldn't like to be the census.
- The heighth of politeness is passing
around on the opposite side of lady to
avoid STEPPING on her shadow.
= An Eastern paper, in dunning up
his subscribers, says she has RESPONSE
slities thrown upon him which he is
obliged to meat"
- No company at all is preferable to
bad. We are more apt to catch the vices
of others than their virtues. Disease is
more contagious than health.
- Those who are great men in little
circle, and little men in great one, show
their learning to the ignorant, and their
ignorance to the learned.
- Write your own epitaph in youth
make it as fattering as possible-and
then devote the rest of your life to Of.
forts to deserve it,
a gentleman having presented his
church with the "Ten Commandments, :"
it vas wittily said, that he gave them
away, because he could not keep them.
Good wives, like iilberts, will re-
main good for long time; but it de-
penis upon the care you take of them
i. O., how you husband them.
An editor acknowledges the receipt
OF bottle of brandy, forty-eight years
old. and says
This brandy is so old that we very
much fear it cannot live much longer"
A boy at school out west, when call
ed called upon to rccite his lesson, was
asked, "What is the German Diet com
posed of?' The boy replied, Sour
krout, schnapps, lager beer, and nix cur
rouse"
The man who did not think it re-
spectacle to bring up his children t.
work, has just heard from his three sons
One of them was driver on the canal
another had been taken up as a vagrant
and a third had gone 70 a public institu
tion to learn the shoe business.
- INNocENcE.-"Is your father a
home 7" inquired man Of tho little cir
who admitted him. rs your name BillY
she asked. "Some people call me SC, ,
replied he. "Then he is not at home
for ] heard him tell John, if any 6il
came, to say he was not at home"
A man whom DR.. johnson once
reproved for following a useless and de-
moralising business, said: "You know,
doctor, that must live" The brave old
hater of everything mean and hateful,
coolly replied that he did not ''see the
least necessity for that"
A good looking fellow was arraign-
ed before court, charged with having sto-
len watch. 1t was his first error, and
he was ready to plead guilty The judge
addressed him in very gentle tones, and
asked him what had induced him to com
init the theft. The young man replied
that, having been unwell for some time,
the doctor advised him to take somethtnq,
which he accordingly done. The Judge
was rather pleased with the humor of the
thing, and asked what led him to select
watch. why" said the prisoner,
"I thought if only had the time, that
nature would work a cure"
- The Oswego Times tells the follow
ing good story at the expense of con-
ductor, known among the "boys" as
" Aleck":
"On the two o'clock slow freight pas
senger train from Syracuse, yesterday,
were lady and her son, youth of good
dimensions, the latter travelling on a
'half-ticket After innumerable stop
pages and delays, in unloading freight.
&c., by which the patience of passengers
is usually exhausted long before they
reach this city, the conductor made his
appearance for tickets, Glaucing at the
pasteboard received from the boy, he
looked first at him and then at his mo-
Their, and then at the ticket, and remark
ed that he was "a large boy to be riding
at half fare i know said the lady,
i know he is, sir; but then he's grown
good deal since we started"