Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1861-07-05
Fact, Fun and Fancy.

EE Man knows not the true value of
q moment until his last moment arrives.
E1- Though men boast of holding the
reins, the women generally tell them
which way they must drive.
EH- A young lady in Maine adyer-
tised for the young man who " embraced
an opportunity" and says if he will come
over to their town he can do better.
ES- Figures won't lie" is an Ole
and homely expression; but few men car
look on a fashionable woman's figure
nowadays and say as much.
A PoLITICAL QUESTION. Has the
tide eff events" anything to do with the
current ofpublic opinion" that is flow
ingf
re- Mrs. Hooke. an Irish woman was
arraigaed in Chicago. last week, for
whipping her husband. Probably she
thought there was no harm in " batting
hook"
RS- An Albany barber having an in
temperate man to shave on Sunday beg
god him to keep his mouth shut, as it
was punishable odense to open rum
hole" on the Sabbath.
ES- The Republican papers are ad-
vising that Congress shall pass Nation
al bankrupt lac. Good idca-national
Bankruptcy is sure to be the end of the
Lincoln administration.
ES Some religionists would make
contempt of the creation test Of piety ;
but they greatly err. 1t was said of the
material universe that six times over
God said thatit was good"
Es- MARY, is your master at home ~
No, sir. he's out" II don't believe
it." "Well, then, he'll come down and
tell you 50 himself. Perhaps you'll be-
ieve him."
EF- A lady in a paroxysm of grief
was said to have shed torrents of tears.
" Poor thing p remarked an unfeeling
punster, 'she must have had cataract
in each eye."
ES- An anonymous letter is a mode
Of moral murder, which. using only an
inkstand for a bowl and pen for poien-
ard, poisons confidence and stabs char
acters without fear of detection.
Eg- The poet Gray once said, II have
discovered a thing very little known,
which is, that in ones whole life, one
can never have more than a single
mother"
EsS- A live Yankee being awakened
by the captain of steamboat with the
announcement that be mustn't occupy his
berth with his boots on, replied, "Oh
the bugs won't hurt them I guess they
are an old pair, let 'em rip"
HRRvEsT DRINK. Ten gallons of cold
water; one gallon of molasses; one quart
Of cider vinegar; one-quarter pound of
ground ginger. These ingredients, well
mixed together, make beverage as re-
freshing.as it is invigorating.
HAPPINESS Happiness in part is i'm
aginary, and its possession depends al
most entirely upon ourselves; content
ment is the Key which unlocks the trea.
sure house, and with "godliness is great
gain"
Ey- If should be drafted into the
service, what would you do ?" said gen.
deman to his wife, lately.
Gak a,.h.f,k..4o o.. -. -
was the reply; whereupon the worst hall
changed the subject of conversation.
Gg- A young lady has been heard to
declare that she couldn't go to fight fol
the country, but she was willing 10 ALLOW
the young men to go, and die an ola
maid. which she thought was as great
sacrifice rs anybody could be called upol
to make
ESThe lady principal of school in be
advertisement mentioned her female as.
sistant and the " reputation for teachin.
which she bears :" but the printer-care
less fellow-left out the (which" so tn,
advertisement went forth, commendinl
the lady's reputation for teaching g she
bears"
Re- 1.-The arrangements of nature or,
admirable" exclaimed pretty bell,
during the lace high wind. 1.-The sam,
wind which disarranges our crinoline
blows dust in the eyes of the wicke,
young men who would take advantage o
our confusion" Philosophical young
lady thatr
A FIGRr. --'' In the first place." sale
Pat, - bit him an internal whallop OF
the side Of the head, which missed him
then l gave him another with t'othel
hand in the same spot precisely. and b.
me sowl while was doing it, the ugl,
basic butted me clane across the street
into the canal. Och but for that blow
how | would have whaled the ugly divil
WnAr I WovLD Do.-If possessed
the most valuable things in the world,
aud was going to will them away, the
following would be my plan of distribu-
hon:
I would give the world truth and
friendship. which are very scarce.
l would give an additional portion Of
truth to lawyers, traders and merchants.
l would give to physicians skill and
learning.
Iwould give to printers their pay.