The Burlington weekly hawk-eye. [volume] (Burlington [Iowa]) 1860-1876, 1861-12-28
= sERMONs ~ m. BULL.

Tho Rev Johu Bull has devoted the last six
months to plying with 'ghostly admonitions and
4 cody exhortations his giddy yousg relative,
\ tJouathan, With regard 70 the unutterable folly,
atrocity, and iniquity Of war. -.
| "Look here, Jenathanw be has been accus.
toned ahectionatelyt 70 urge, II am older than
VOC, and have bad nors experience in the ways
Of this wicked world, and assure you that war
10 criminal mistake. With far away keathen,
who can't b reasoned With nor taught anything
save st the mouth Of the cannon, the point Of
the bayouet, IL may be necessary to argue diffl-
cult questions with long forty-two's; but with
rational, civilized, Christian men, Jour own kifh
and kin, nevssi Jonsthsn, my boyi sm really
ashamed Of yoai Look at my big debit See
how have 70 tax and burden myself to pay the
long score Of my past indiscretions! Take warn
ing BY me. proat by my experiences, and let war
severely alone" f1 = gias hes
s.But, Doctor" was the mild rejoinder, 'l
know all you can tell me Of the mischiefs and
| Imiseries Of war. hate war, and would gladly
eecape from itifI could. But, bad az war 10, IL
4 seems TO me that there. are even worse calami-
ties ] have borne and forborne to AVOID the
contest now forced upon me. have seen State
after State plunged into ,auseiess rebellion by
desperate but secretly organized, active, and
utterly unscrupulous minority of her people,
terrorixing the majority into acquiescence, or at
least into silence. / stood still until my custom
houses we're seized and set to collecting revenue
| for the rebels-until my nints and sub-treasu-
ries were wrested from me, and their contents
turned over to the uses Of the rebellionAuntil
my forts, areenals, armories were in like manner
stolen and their guns pointed against me--uutil
my armies, employed only for she defense of
frontier States and Territories ae ainst plunder
| ing savages were betrayed by officers in secret
league with the rebels into the enemy's hands,
| the soldiers made prisoners of war and all their
arms, munitions and stores turned over to the
uses Of treason. And still forbore until almost
my last fortress along seacOast of over a thou
| sand miles, which was harming no one, threat.
| ening no one, was bombarded and captured by
| an overwhelming force, upon no other ptetext
than that Imeditated sending provisions to its
starving garrison. II seems to me that the most
Christian meekness,eyep yours-conld not
have held out longer than that; and unless l was
ready to admit that had no authority IN nv
own house, no right to my own property, had
no choice but to fight" @
20 there are always excuses for f,hting," is
the evangelical Doctors ready reply, ''but there
are always ways to avoid fighting for those that
really seek them. Take my advice and let those
fiery Southrcns have their own head. The worst
peace is better than the most triumphant war.
You may shake your head at this, but I know"
But all at once the Reverend Doctor is
startled, in the midst of his projections, by word
that one of our cruisers has taken four notorious
avoWed traitors, proceeding on an errand of
dangerous hostility to the United States, out of
British mail packet and he stops sermonizing
| as though he had been shot, "Halloo everybody!
where are my cannon, my rifles, my ships of war,
my round shot, chain shot, and all manner of
deadly implements and missies9 Unless the
Yankees at once give up Mason, .Slidell Co.,
and apologize for them, I'll burn New York,
shell Boston, and pour death and destruction all
over the loyal states Get ready, boys! and
blaze awayw ka8 3cU 3lQEs
\ "But stop, Doctor" mildly interposes Jona-
than; 'let us argue the point! You think you
are right, doubtless; but you are altogether too
hasty. You havnt heard our side of the matter.
We will prove that you have acted toward US
| and others under like circumstances just as
! we have done in the case of your Trent and
her precious load, only great deal more stern
ly. We will prove by your own highest legal
authorities that what VIC have done with regard
to Mason and Slidell is fully justified by your
standard Interpretation of the laws Of war and
the rights Of belligerents."
II wont argue with you! Won't hear you'll"
shrieks John in his shrillest key; Surrender
and apologize or fght!-that is all have to
say"
The transition from the peace preaching to
the war threatening Bull is very sudden, and in
spite Of his fury, gives him rather ludicrous
aspect. It is the old story of the parson who
was psrpetualiy lecturing his good wife on her
hasty temper, and entreating her to think of
Job and initiate his long suffering meekness.-
At length, the preacher Of patience happened to
1 upset . hornets nest in his garden, and was
/ surprised b. the lady Of his choice indulgng in
al manner of unseemly antics and imprecations.
| my dear" said the astonished dame, "you
should think Of Job and initiate his invincible
lna tianca II, advarsifv ttInh ha hlesaod
torted the tortured and wrathful divine, slap
ping and jumping with all his might; sob never
| had handful of hornets in his breeches in all
| his life!"-N. Y Tribune. g