Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1861-11-10
Item..

The cheapest OF lawyrrs-keeping ones Owl
counsel.
I'm getting fat" As q thief said whenhe wa,
stealing lard.
Every man complains Of his memory, hUt I'D
man complains of his Judgment.
II s supposed the fellow who left the house
was, moi able to take it with him.
One OF the surest signs Of laziness is that o.
women using ~rocking-chairs too much.
Railroads and steamboats, annihilaie space and
; time. 10 say nothing of q multitude Of pSssen-
gers.
Pedantry Grams our heads with learned lum-
Der. and takes ont our brains 10 make room iorI-
Innocence is like an umbrela-wheu once we
have lost It. we must never hope 20 see il hack
again-PuncA.
We know a dandy who is so extremely taslid-
.ou>, that he Is always measured for his umOrel-
a-PEach.
Why is a surgeon, since the discovery Of ether.
/ Ike q swinder Because he cuts of without
pawn PAIN
Although Linn provides a great many ladies'
boots and shoes, all the hrogue-AOnS come
Z from Ireland.
Il Is with love as with apparitions. Every
/ one talks Of il, but few have ever seen it,
The reason why short women should be the
soonest married, is, because there is more need
o. their getting spbeed.
A henpecked husband writes " Before mar
/ rage | faucied welded life would be all sunshine;
but afterwards ! found out that it was all moon
shine"
Bob, did you hear that my father viii get
married again next Easter ," mo, Tom, ] did
not Does be get an Old woman W. No; h.
gets anehaone.'
Good temper is the philosophy Of the heart
a gem of the treasury within, whose rays are
rejected on all outward objects a perpetual
unshine, imparting warmth, light and life to all
sitlin the spheres 20 It's vast influence.
A young lady complained that she had bst a
part Of her earring, and she thought it must
have been at church. Bad place, miss, to
( have lost your earring at" said an old servant
10 whom She was relating her loss.
No MATTER Now A party Of beiated gen
tlemen, about a certain hour, began to think Of
home, and their wives displeasure, and urged a
departure. Never mind, said one Of the
guests. " fifteen minutes viii make no difference:
my wife is as mad now as she can be
In Birmah, when a young woman is III, her
parents agree with a physician, thatif be cures
the patient he may have her for his trouble buj
If she dies under his medicines, be is TO pay
them her full value. It is stated that some
successful physicians have large families OF
females who have become their property in this
manner.
Coleridge, who was a very awkward rider
was once accosted by a wac who remarked this
popularity. d" ! say, young man, did you meet
a tailor on the road - " Yes. replied Mr.. C.,
(who was never at d loss for a TeiOiuder,) did,
and be told me If | went On q little further that
I should meet a goose - The RssaIlant was
struck dumb, while the traveller logged on.
Good m%oruin," Sambo; berry hot wedder,
Sambo, D-y do say dat it is 50 not down east,
dst dey is obliged 20 take of the tops Of their
houses 70 let in the air well, Cutfy, It can't
git no hotter in our house, anyhow, cause de
henometer's got bang up to de top dats one
comfort Gully
An old clergymau-mOTe distinguished tT
his pietv ,han for the elegance of bis OTatoTicsl
deliyery-OnCe read aloud from his pulpit a
hymn. in which occurs this line
'Lite's Ike q shadow. how Il flies"
But, pausing in the middle Of the word shadO1C,
10 take breath, the venerable parsOn astonished
h=s hrarrr- BY what seemed 20 read
IKE = shad-oht how il hies.7
A deputahon Of leading London wine mer-
chants were impressing on the Chancellor Of
the Exchequer the Justice Of his giving the "bene-
DC OF the doubt upon some point connected
with the French treaty, upon which lac was not
so very certain, when heshortly replied, Il would
f you were going 10 be hanged, but viii not
Ipon a financial point