The Buchanan County guardian. (Independence, Buchanan County, Iowa) 1858-1864, 1861-03-26
II was not born in a thicket,
To be scared by a cricket"
[Applause.


Our proper position is the zenith and ma
dir--our heads to the one, our heels to
the other. at right angle with the hori.
zon spanded by that azure arc of the
lustrous armament, bright with the cor
ruscations of innumerable consultations,
and proud as speckled stallion on =
county court day. Cheers.
But how have the mighty fallen !"
in the language of the poet Silversmith.
We have lost our proper position. We
have assumed a shloshindicular or a di-
chronological position. And what is the
cause /? Echo answers, buncombe," 4"
sir, buncombe." The people have
been fed on buncombe, while lot of
spawned. ringboned, hamstrung. wind
CALLED, swyneyed, split-hoofed, distem-
pered. pollevled, pot -bellied politicians
have had their noses in the public crib
until there amt fodder enough left to
make Cruel for sick grasshopper.
[Cheers and applause.
Sir, these hungry brats keep tugging
at the public pap. They say "let down
your milk, Sucky. or you'll have a split
bag" Do they think they can stuff
such buncombe down our craw? Nc,
sir you might as we'll try to stuff butter
down wild cat with hot awl. Con
tinued laughter. The thing can't be
did.
The public grindstone is great in
stitution, sir-yes. a great institution.
One Of the greatest, perhaps, that ever
rose, reigned or FELL But, sir, there is
too much private cutlery ground. The
thing won't pay. Occasionally the big
axe is brought in to be fixed up, ostensi-
bly, for the purpose of hewing down the
gnarled trunks of error, and clearing out
the public highway of progress. The
machine whirls the axe is applied. The
lockers on are enchanted with the brill.
liant sparks elected. The tool is polish
ed keenly edged and while the public
stare in gaping expectancy Of seeing the
road cleared, the implement is slyly ia
ken of to improve the private acres OF
some "faithful friend of the people" 1"
What is the result? The obstructions
remain unmoved. The people curse be-
cause the car lags-or if it does move
It's at the expense Of a broken wheel and
jaded and sore backed team. / tell you
the thing won't pay. The time will
come when the nasal promontories Of
these interested grinders will be put to
the stone instead oftheir hardware. ZAP
plause. / am mighty afraid the ma
chine is a going to stop. The grease is
giving out laundering fast. II is begin
ming to creak on its axis. Gentlemen,
it is my private opinion publicly express
sed, that all the grit " is pretty near
worn off. Applause.
Mr.. Speaker, you must excuse me for
my latitudinous circumlocutoriness, nv
old blunderbuss scatters amazingly, but
if anybody gets peppered, it amt my
fault if they are in the way.
Sir, these dandycal, supertisquertical,
mahogany faced gentry-what do they
know about the blessings Of freedom |?
About as much sir, as tree toad does of
glory. These are the ones that have
got our liberty pole off its perpendicu-
larity. 'Tis they who would rend the
stars and stripes-tbat noble flag, the
blood Of our revolutionary fathers en-
balmed in its red the purity Of the cause
for which they died-denoted by the
white the blue-the freedom they at
tanned, like the azure air that wraps their
native hills and fingers on their lovely
plains. Cheers. The high bird Of
liberty sits perched on the topmost
branch but there is no secession salt on his
glorious tail. fear he will no more
spread his noble pinions to soar beyond
the azure regions of the boreal pole. But
lei not Missouri pull the last feather from
his sheltering wing to plume shaft to
pierce his noble breast or what is the
same, to make pen to sign secession
ordinance. [Applause. Alas, poor bird,
if they drive you from the branches of
the hemlock of the North, aud the pal.
metto OF the South. come over to the
gum tree of the West and we will pro-
,ect your noble birdship while water
grows and grass runs. Immense ap-
plause. Mr.. Speaker, ! subside for the
present.