The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1861-05-23
From the Home Journal.
Matrimonial EmfelIcIsFes.
BY AN IRRITABLE MAN
Domestic Government.

noise while l am in the house l can't imagine
= l should think that you'd instruct them to b
= quiet and behave themselves when am at home
They have all the day from nine O'Clock unit
five, in which to play and make as much nois
: as they please, and why you will allow ther
to keep it up until bedtime, | really don't III
derstand. After I've been busiIy employs
down town for six or eight hours, toiling TO
you and the children, l want when return
home, to enjoy rest and quiet, and not find my
self, the moment enter the house in the mids
of bedlam.
'The noise they make said my wife, looking
up from her work, can be no more annoying
to you than it is to me, who have to be subject
ed to it all day. I'm sure my nerves ought tt
, be made of iron TO enable me to endure it. Yol
in reality, experience little Of its unpleasant
ness but here am I, shut up day after day
with these noisy beings, obliged oftentimes
through lack Of strength to correct them, to sub
nit to their caprices and naughtness while 70,
are abroad in the open air, and free from tn,
petty annoyances which surround me. Yor
men, though, think woman's life is perfec
paradise | wish you had to live only one sucl
day as this has been. [ have been obliged tt
have the sole care of the children ever since
morning, and between their crying and bolster
our behaviour, they have nearly worn me out
My head aches violently, and it doesn't seen
as if myfngers could take another stich.'
! But why asked, did you take so much up.
on yourself? Why didn't you let Katy have
charge of the children, as usual :?
Because this is ironing day land Katy always
has to assist the aundress
But what is the use, inquired, 'of having
Katy to take care of the children, unless she
does it If the laundress cannot perform her
work herself, why you'd better get some one
who can, so that Katy can attend to her own
business. Now, if there is one thing 1 dislike
more than another it is your mismanagement
with the servants. Each one should have her
own duties to perform, and not interfere with,
or assist in those ofanother. 1 should Just like
to have the control OF this household for week,
when think 1 could effect revolution in it,
of a most satisfactory character
| I am sure said my wife, Il have no obiec-
ton to your taking the entire charge of the
house Tor year or longer. A pretty house
keeper, though you'd make. think you would
fad it more difficult task, however, than you
imagine
All that is necessary TO insure a well-regula-
ted household, my DEAR said, is proper sys-
TEN. System is the basis of all governments
domestic and national Without il disorders are
certain to prevail. | have a theory about gov
eminent winch, Il you will listen to me- III ex-
plain 10 you. In the first place
! 4 don't think, said my wife, interrupting me-
that have time at present to hear your theory
even if the little ones would remain quiet long
enough to allow me to give you the attention
necessary.
| Children, cease your noise, exclaimed.-
But they gave no heed to my command, and
raised such hubbub that it called forth an ex-
preston from me that only the extreme circun,-
stances of the case warranted
! Don't speak So, said my wife soothingly.-
haV hppu OH ~
this all day, and have not once lostmv tanner
Good gracious : exclaimed, what confound
cd muss have I sat down in = Some sticky stuff.
declare, its molasses. If there be one thing
dislike to sit III more than another it is molas
Ses. Why do you allow the children to have
Iit2'
II don't know where they got it from, l am
| sure, answered my wife, for was not aware
there was a drop in the house knowing how
| ayeise you are 10 having the little ones use it.
since they stuck themselves mp with il so,
have denied Ii to them for months past
Well it appears they have got some, at all
events and Look at that child daubed
from head TO foot
Here the slim girl of thirteen made her APP
pearance with plate containing sticks OF mo-
lasSes candy, which she said she had made for
papa. Now, if there is one thing dislike more
than another, it is molasses candy made for pa
pa; but on the present occasion, l took the
plate with it's entire contents, determined that
| it, at least, should not he distributed over the
floor, chairs andYtable.
Every piece Of furniture in the ROOM said
SIS sticky with this confounded stuff Every
door knob and window pane is marked with it.,
and every part of the house for a week to come
will be redolent of it, The fact is, my dear,you
allow the children to do just as they please and
when it isn't molasses they get into, it is honey
! or sweetmeats. What is the use of being moth
er, unless you can manage your children and
keep them out of the mclasses jug?'
! My wife said she didn't see any use in it,
which seemed to me rather an equivocal an
Swer While L was bordering over this reply
my eyes fell upon the candy befor me. 1t seem
ed to be filled with raiSins. I examined it care
fully and the raisns resolved themselves into
flies.
Good gracious II exclaimed, what could have
induced that child to put flies into the candy %
Flies = echoed my wife.
Yes, repeated, 'hiesr
My wife looked at the candy with critical
eye. Then she rung the bell for Biddy, who
soon made her appearance.
Where did the children get the moiasses for
their candy she inquired.
Out of the jug, to be sure, said Bddy, where
else should they? Didn't they find it in the
cellar where it had been ever so long doing no
good to any one, and so / just said they might
have it for candy
But the jug ought not to have been in the
cellar Biddy, that is not its proper place, said
my wife.
'Oh its not the jug we use, ma'am,' replied
Biddy; and now I'll tell you all about it
| When Nora, the cook we had last summer, you
remember, was here, she just accidentally, one
day broke the handle off the Jug, aud so that
it wouldn't be in your sight ma am, she put it
on the upper shelf in the cellar where we for
got all aboutit l suppose, somehow, the cork
got out and the flies got in, but it was very
nice molasses, ma'am, for all that. And l told
Miss Lily, when she boiled The molasses, to be
sure and skim of the top Of it, for l thought
there might be fly or two in it, and knew
flies liked molasses; and that's justine blessed
truth ma'am, indeed it is
When Biddy had left the room, said to nay
wife:
This is another example my dear, of your
housekeeping qualifications. You not only let
the children do as they please, but you allow
the servants the same liberty. Ii they break
jug, why you know nothing about it until
months afterwards, when the children poison
themselves with eating flies
i poison themselves ? exclaimed my wife, you
don't mean to sry that flies are poisonous =
'Wen,' I replied, Il don't regard them as
wholesome TODD. And ADVISE you, II you nave
any regard for the children's health, to collect
the balance of the candy scattered around, and
throw it away
This opportunity of disposing of the candy
viii Oh otherwise would be sticking everything
up for a week to come, was appreciated by me,
and the few flies discovered were almost worth
their weight in diamonds.
Now my DEAR l said, after my wife, having
given her orders in regard to the destruction Of
the candy, reseated herself near me, 4 will state
my theory in regard to domestic government
In the first place, you must adopt, as funda-
mental preceTt, that which Solomon taught
My DEAR, said my wife, 4 am sorryto inter
rupt you, but must leave you and attend tC
getting dinner.
After saying this, my wife abruptly left the
room. My theory, which however, is goo(
one, 1 shall insist on her listening to some day
or another.
4 Pleasant enough was the nagnanimity of thu
! mars IN WIN heino reproacbed for NOT HAVING