The south-western. [volume] (Shreveport, La.) 1852-1870, 1861-08-14

How much dld Eou make n that operation?7 asked
his wife al he rot IN bed.
-Four CENTS was the reply.
a shame bit is, returned the rritated dame, for a
to disturb your rest just for a dose of salts
Recolec1 my lqve said the druggist, that dose
Of salts will disturb thc mans than it has
mine, and rIcc that those little Inconvenience al
ways work We'll in time"
1t is slill by one Of our exchanges, that young
blood "a whderght by Fadc) Suckerdom, wishing to
get chancd to tell of the fair what he thought
OF her donnd his best looks and addressed her in this
wise: Miss can have the exquisite pleasure of roll
ing the wheel Of conversation around the axletrce of
your understanding few minutes this evening
"IIow Dire ldfu that cigar smells exclaimed CusIi-
ing companion; why, its awful smelling thing"
oh, no. it'll not the cigar that SMELLS was the reply
What is II, then" inquired Cushing. ''Why, its
your that smells, Of course-thats what noses
were made ipr."
A young lady native Of Sydney, being asked if She
wond like tn 20 I'd Britain, answered that she would
like to ii but not to live in it, On being pressed
for her reaso, she replied that from the great number
Of bad people sent out from thence it surely be
Il very wick3d place to live in
\ friend Has sent 4 fine engraving, representing
an eminent oet borne upward into the air by an eagle
We never Il fore saw poet Oil the back of an eagle
though We ire grieyed to confess that have seen
many one upon lark"
\ witty Druggist on a cold night last winter was
awoke by terrible rapping at the door. Going down
be found n1or fellow who wanted purchases dose of
salts. The Hop was entered, the dose prepared and
half dime PM in the drawer
my Gertan friend how long have you been mar
ried?n "Nfll, dis a ting ! seldom don't like to
talk about; lit ven dos tscGms to me about % long
is it ever VI sn
At a boDE ding house tahc one dir, a bosrder re-
marked to His nciehbor this is healthy place for
chickens t'Why?' slid the other because | never
see any dead ones about here"
Duty is a ittIc blue sky over every heart and soul
over every Ee-lae enough fora star look between
two clouds 4nd for the slyark happiness to rise heav
onward tTol Ugh and sing in.
Sidney Smith, passing through by-street, behind
St Papls, hEard two women abusing each other from
opposite houfcs They never will agree, said the
vii, 'tthey tguc from different premises"
An attorlcv en- bcar called to account for having
acted unprof ssionaily in taking less than the usual
fees from bis cIcnt pleaded that he had taken all the
man had " was theIeupon, honorably acquitted.
Some one beading placard Of the opera in which
Madame Dor Gras to sing the character allotted
to Miss HayeE, said Tie wondered how the substitute
Of grass for Jays would be relished in the stalls
Myrabeau thns wrote to a young lady who had fallen
IN love with his genius and wished to know how he
looked: "FaPcy his satanic majesty after having had
the small pOY such ain L."
\ dying VI est India planter grooming to his favorite
servant, sghdI out, "Ah, Sanbo am going on a long
Journey "Nevcr mild masSa.n ut am all the way
down de hill.
sentlems h having been asked on his return from
party the other evening whether he had seen Miss A.
young lady fotcd for delicate dress-rcpicd that he
had seen gGpd deal of her.
Whats tho q Inference between little Queen Vic,
And the shaggy dogs tail that's moving 50 quick?
The difference is this--I say without Dragging
The Queen keeps a coael--tIe tail keeps Vaughn
Julius, WHY dintyou oblong your stay at dc SEA
side?n t'Kasd Mr. snow de charge too much"
How 50, JIlias?7 why, De landlord charged dis
individual widI stealing az spoons"
Monsieur Fourcni Of Paris has been for long time
cnaeavoring ii color bone with madIer and the more
be tried the uIldder lie got.
We we're considerably amused by an account that
we lately saw of remarkable duel. There were six
men upon theI ground and six misses.
story writer says lie will climb the starry ladder
+ ambition aid drive his enemies back into ashee of
darkness Rather Eighty that.
.'Jfin how Hoes the thermometer stand to-dav?n-I
ours stands On the nIante piece right agin the pas
tering.n
If YOU are l4oking 1t picture, you try to give it
the advantage of good light BE courteous to your
fellow -creaur{s as YOU are to picture.
Never take morning hitters. Morning sweets from I
the lips Of pey ittle wife just before leaving the
house are much better
It seems Fonder that all the penitcntiaries in the
country don't ecomo Bankrupt for none Of them ever
got a tenth paft Of their dues.
Porter asbd old lady of an Irish railway porter,
when does th4 nine o'clock train leavc Sixty minutes
past eight, mu9l, was Mikes reply.
Mysteries is i pleasant sham for woman to indulge
in when they they desire to carry point, know ell
AclHlll5 else ~ '4V'
At a late militia muster in Kentucky, big key was
used for iruf. If there was liquor in it doubtless
the men rallied at the tap.
Avoid temptation, through fear you may not with
stand it.
Earn money before you spend il.
Never run ii debt unless you see a way to get out
again.
# any one 4peaks evil Of you let your le pc 50 |
that none will believe him.
Good character is above all things else.
Drink no kipEl Of Intoxicating liquors.
Ever live mfortunes expected within your income
Industry is tie only true road to fortune i
Lovers have more occasion than any other class off
nersons to alphabetically about the loss carts
lie loves youibettef who strives to make you good,
than he who stfyes TO please you.
Tnnner saws lis the horse not the wagon that wearies
12t We are veryertain that we have seen Wagon tire
The ocean which Il forever sounding, sometimes gets
sounded. ,,t.a.
Why is J0hnlomut like a eaaF-eeeAea 2"0A"no'e
.skc2-Bceausc be inst Brown