Clearfield Republican. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1851-1937, 1861-01-23

,cr Snds Mr.. Lincoln persecutcdby by appii'
can,s for oilice. and describes the means
by which he clears the premises
Good Lord!" cried Old Abe, "they
cum upon rae from the s'>ize-+io'A''il' 'hS e
chimneys aud from the bowels o' 'le
yeath - lie hadn't more'n sot .iF7'' a'
cords out ofhis delikit mouth he'd t"c
Ga, SsHs seekers fiom Wisconsin, M ehdeS'
.,io 10 e,,,ra atweenfis legs for the pur-
,.o.e Of spplyin for lol7sateship at MI
,auly. upsot the President eleck ~ he
would hey gone sprawln ''''o the IRE e
,lsee Of 1 hadu't caught aim IN thes'
ARMS. Bnt hadnf snore' n stood nm w
s.rate bi arolber man cum orasadn down
tie chimney, his he'd aril;in me vilentiy
.yin the innards and prosirniin my voirp'
FOCUS Eesn on ,he nogr, I" Mr, Lmkh'4
,bon,ed the inlatooNtcd being, 'my pa
pcrs is signed by evry clergyman in our
town, & Likewise the skoolnla'ter.' y
sez |, "you eg,Gis ass" gitlln upS
brusbin the dust 4rona my ize, "Ill sign
your papers with this bunch of bones ei
Won don't he a little more kcerlni how
YOU make my bread basket depot in in'
,ur. How do you like that air perlu'
m.ry?" seq !, shuving my fist under
his roze. .'rhem's the kind Of papers
IN give YOU. Thems the papers yoa
want,
"But workt hard for the ticket; !
toied night and day! The pntril should
te rewarded !" ---
"Virto,n sed +, holdin the infatooated
man Y the cote collier, "yirtoo, sir, Is rs
own reward Look at me! lie did
look at me, and qualed bel my gazo.-
.Tbc fact is" ! continnered, lookin
round upon tho hungry crowd, "there ia
scarcely offs for evry lie lamp carrid
round durin this campain. ! wish
tha,e was. wish thare was furrin mis-
ions TO be filled on varis lonely Islands
whare epydemics rage incessantly, and ef
Twas in Old Abe's place, I'd send evry
mothers son Of you to them. What air
ron here for? " continaered warmin
up considerable, can't you give Abe
mldits peace? Don't you see he's worrld
most TO death. Go home, you miserable
men, go home and till the sile Go 10
b..in sope stuff sassengers black boots
,gi, clerkship on sum respectable RIA
nure cart-go round as original Swiss Bell
Ringers becum original and only Camp
bell Minstrels-- 90 10 lccturin at 50 cents
nite-imbark in the peanut bizness
-,eritc for ,hc Lcdger---saw of your legs and
20 round givin concerts with tcchin ap-
peals to charitable public priRted on
your handbills any thing for an honest
livin, but don't come around here drivin
Old Alb, crazy by your outrajus cuttins
up!
"Gohome Stand not upon the order Of
your goin, but 60 at onct. III in five
minutes from this time" sez ], pullin out
my new sixteen dollar hurtin cased watch,
and brandshin it bel their ize. "E, in 8
minutes from this time single sole OF
you remains on these hear premises. III
20 out to MY cage near by, and let my Boy
Constructor loose & ef he gets among you
you'll think Old Solferino has come
among you and no mistake" You ought
10 have seen them scamper Mr.. Fair
They ran orr as tho Sa.un hisself was ar
.er them with ared hot ten rronged pitch
fork, In 5 minutes the premlses was
clear.
How kin | ever repay you, Mr., Ward
for your kindness? sed Old Abe, advan-
Gin ard shakin me warmly by the hand
How kin | ever repay you, sir?"
"By givin the whole country good
sound administration. BY poegin lie up
on the troubled waters North and South.
by pursooin a patriotic, hrm and just
course, and then eff any State wants to
sscede let 'em secede "
How bout my Cabnit Ministry, Mr..
wardt" sed Ale.
Fill it up with Showmen, sir! Show
men is devoid of politics. They hain't
got a darn principle. They know how to
cater to the public. They know what
the public @ants, North & South. Sho ".
men, sir, is honest men. Fl you doubt
their literary ability look at their posters,
aud see small bills Ef yol want a Cab
nit as Is Cabnit, fill tup with showmen
but don't call on me The moral wax fig.
ger erfeshon mustn't be permitted TO 90
lown while theresa drop of blood in
heseveiiis! A, l.inkin, wish you we'll
4 Powers or Walcutt wus to pick out 4
.iodel for beautiful man, l scarcel,
hing they'd sculp you but ef YOU do
no fair think you'll make as putty an
,ncel as any of us or npy other man =