davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1861-11-07
Rarnum's Last Story.

BarDum is always ready with q good
story. Hi latest is the following. which is
told of Elias Howe. jr., who ha- been very
actise 10 ftung for the war. Mr.. Howe has
spent thousands OF dollars in thls say,
aud taken so great an interest 10 military
affairs that he has but little time to attend
to anything el,e.
One day very worthy Connecticut
deacon called upon the gentleman with a
subscription list. He wanted Mr.. Howe
to give something towards erecting a Des
church.
IA new church I" replied Howe; Sab,
new church. | don't think | eau give
anything, because | am spending all my
spare money for the war. Can't think of
anything else"
The deacon looked despondent. Mr..
Howe secured frm in bis determination
not to give red" AT last be asked
the deacon what the new church was to be
called.
The Church. of St. Peter, sir" was
the reply.
"Ah, the Church of ST. Peter" replied
Howe; well, as ST. Peter was the only
fighting apostle in the lot. | guess I'll
have to .ise .omethiDg But cent do
much for St. Peter. as my tiuc and mon
ey uu-t be almost entirely devoted to
Salt Peter"
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1861-11-07
sTRoUDsBURG, MONROE COUNTY, Pa NOVEMBER 7, 1851.

put my fingers in my mouth, aud did jus,
so. (tlefe the patriotic prisoner gave q
blow that would have done no disc, @ Ii,
to Pennsylvania Looomotive) got
about half way through the cbune when
the geese set up an etsrnal. almighty his
sing, and stuck tbei, long neck. and heels
at me. Crotch all hemlock, and gosh
mighty, but | fired upi was all pos.
sessed and b'ilio over With patriotisu and
glory. and ses | Darn yel yell hiss
Yankee Doodle. will yel Nov. darn ye.
take that ~ And | blazcd away, and
twc geese dropped"
y smile played on the faces OF the
members OF the court martial. and there
wa deal Of oppressed laughter.
:" But the chicken-, sir the chicke nsi"
quickly responded the Judge Advocate,
biting his lip; they did not hiss"
"Wall, no. sir. they didn't hiss; they
seemed to be held in reserve to cover the
retreat Of the rebel geese, and they fell
because they we're in bad company"
The next day the soldier was on duty,
none the worse for the court martial
What became of the geese and the chick.
ems never could be accurately ascertaiued.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1861-11-07
NO.42.

Courtneys. She bad a isI.e notion. ON.
~ too common, that drudgery vas not
lady like and hence neglected a prouer
SUPERVISION OF ner Dou@e Her unmar-
ried sisters we're very gay and were cop
stantly giving parties. snd she could not
but give them, aud others. parties in re.
turn. At the end of the year. when Yer
non cast up bis accounts, he found that
his expenses bad greatly exceeded bis ex-
peetstons. He thought ruefully of what
Courtney bad told bi0, and resolved to
do better next year. But the next year
passed aud things we're even worse In
creased expenses bad come, which rere
unavoidable. He was young lawyer,
and young lawyers are proverbially slow
IN getting practice, and be began to look
forward to the future with uneasiDess for
a. yet be bad not pro6ted cent from his
wife being an heiress,. nor vas it probabls
be would for many years. for Mr. Town
send was It'll a hearty map. not set ff;y.
Tine passed. In ten years Courtney
bad laid By quite little capital, which
by Judicioos investments, now began to
increase rapidly. If be bad wished, be
could have .pent twice as much as be did,
and still lived within his income He
and Vernon It'll continued to occupy the
house. into which they had moved on be-
ing married. But while that of the
Courtney's DOW belong to them, the Yer
mons bad still to pay rent for theirs. and
often found it no easy matter. The one
hou:e was tidy and fresh; the other had
q look of faded geDtiity. In the one
was comfort and competence; 10 the 9TH
er a constant striving to keep up appear
aD Dces.
Courtney is still handsome and so is
his wife; but both Vernon sDd Mary have
A jaded look. which plainly betrsys the
struggle they have with fortune. OF all
poverty, that of the Vernons is the worst.
What did Harry make by marrying an
leiress!
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1861-11-07
Bringing out the Old Hogs.

Quite Dumher Of years ago an eocen-
trio genius By the name of Hunt, used to
give temperance lectures in New jersey
and Pennsylvania. One night be an
nounced that be would lecture in Easteu.
Now temperance was net in favor a.
Dougst the male portion of that burph.
The women, however, we're all in for the
pledge, and consequently on Hunts first
night not man showed him-elf in the
ball. The benches were pretty we'll filed
with women, though. and Hunt COM
menced; but instead of temperance, be
pot them through on the vsnities Of dress.
etc. They wore greet stuffed feather
sleeves then. They (the sleeves) catcbed
1t, then their tight laeiBg, and so on
through the whole catalogue of female
follies, but not word about temperance.
And the ladies' went home hopping mad,
told their husbands about it, aud voted
old Hunt down to the lowest notch.
He had announced that be would lec-
ture at the same place the next night
Long before the time appointed they com.
Deuced to cone, and when Hunt hobbled
down the aisle, the building was con-
fortably filed With men. The old fellow
looked about. cbuckled and muttered,
Hogs, I've got yoa powl" The audi
ence stared; HINT chuckled again and
said, "Aha, hogs. I've got you nowl"-
The people looked at one another and
asked:
"Wbst can be meaDF' But Hunt on
ly gave the half ID maicious cbuckle and re-
peated:
Hogs. I've got you uowi"
After the crowd had got quiet little
the lecturer arose and said:
Friends. you wanted to know what I
meant by saying. Hogs, I've got you
nowl' and ! u tell you" Out west the
hogs run wild. and when folks get out of
meat they catch young pig, put a strap
under his body aud hitch him to young
sapling that will just swing him clear of
the ground nicely. OF course be squeaIs
aud raises rumpus. when all the old
hogs gather around 10 see what's the mat
ter, and they then shoot them at their
leisure. Last night hung pis up; it
hurt little. and it squealed. The old
hogs have turned out tonight to see the
fun. ana I'll roast you;" and so be did,
pitching into their favorite vice With rel.
ish sod gu-to that can only be spprceia-
ted by one who has heard "Old King
AlcOholl' put through during '46 or AZ.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1861-11-07

That be might not be sent to the Troy
an war, Ulysses pretended to be insane.
yoked bull and horse to. ether and
Piougbed the sea shore. where be sowed
salt instead OF corn Should our worth p
son OF Mars be found .ome fue morning
cutting similar pranks on the shores of
your classic Delaware. We will not as
crbe it to any dislike be has for the smell
OF Run-powder, but an unselfsb sDd pa
triotls desire to remain near the Demo
Gratis of Monroe and Pike, to instruct
them who vas and who was not regularly
nominated.
Respectfully yours,
GEORGE II. ROWLAND.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1861-11-07
sasSome able and excellent men ar,

RE Some able and excellent men are
never able to adapt their phrases to the
comprehension of children. A map OF
this class, learned theological professor.
was once eDfaged to address a sunday
School. He read a number of verses
frou the Bible, and then said: IL in.
tend to give you a summary Of the truth
taught 10 this portion Of the Scripture. "
Here the pastor touched bin. and sug.
gested that he bad better explain to the
children what summary" meant. SO be
turned around and said to the children:
Your pastor wants me to explsln what
summary means, and | will do so. Well.
children. summary is an abbreviated sy-
nopsis OF thing"
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1861-11-07

sD A patriotic landlady. PatroDized
by one Of our exchanges. iD her desire to
emulate the generosity of city govern
neDts and other corporations in consiDu-
ing the wages of absent soldiers. has Civ
en- notice that il any of her boarders will
enlist. she will allow their toard to run
right on. all the tiue they are gone. the
same as il they remained Can the spir-
i: of generous devotion to the interests of
the country go any further than thisl
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1861-11-07

The following is good story about
. clergyman who lost his horse one Sat-
urday evening. After bunting iu compa-
ny With boy until after midnight, he
gave up in despair. The next day some
what detected at bis loss, be vent into
the pulpit and took for his text the fol-
following passage from JOB.
"Oh that | knsw whers might iud
bin r.
The boy who had just come in. suppo-
sing the horse vas still the burtheD Of his
thought. cried out:
IL know where he is-he's 10 Deacon
Smiths bsrn!"
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1861-11-07
VOL 90.
Published by Theodore Schoch.

q. IEaNS.--Two dollars per annumin advance-Two
lplltrs aad quarter, half yeary-andi If not paid be-
iOre the elI OF the year, Two dollars and half
NJ oaners discontinued until all arrearRges PAID
except al the option OF the Editor.
TAjtertISeni eats of square (ten lnes) OF less
enc or three Insertions 90 Each additional iiser-
oh' - cents Longer ones III proportion.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1861-11-07

Cards, Circulars, Bill Heads, Notes. Blank Recents
Justices, Legal and other Blanks Pamphlets sc prlu
ted with nedtness and despatch, reasonable
III this Office
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1861-11-07
JOB PRINTING.
FANCY PRIMTpIMGo

. Having general assortment of large, plain and o
hamental Type, we prepared TO execute every de
ScriPti0n OF
The Mountaineer. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1859-1861, 1861-01-05
.INEI.u ENcE OF ALCOHOL UPON
i i. ......... ALBEMES. =. - "


THE. effect Of aicobol upon albunen is
the. same as excess Of heat---it cOagnlates
il, throws it from the, liqaid to the solid
state, 40 may be vi auy tue seen By
mmglipg il with the white ii. AN egg
This is ono OF the mp,lcs Of aGtiua by
WHICH alcohol destroys hfs when taken in
excessive Quantity, or 10 a concentrated
form. =, IguetG the highest aud most re-
cent eheiaical authority TO this point
X RegRaelt'a ChemistrY}s "GoReentrated
alcohol ucis as deadly poison on the ami
mad economy, and will produce death,
when takels ia large quantities. Injected
into tho veins, il produces atlnost sudden
death, by cOagulatiug the albumen OF the
liOodl% -. --....' Is. 49,. -. -. :.
Now, IN the ordinary use Of alcoholic
drinks, there is not sufficient taken 10 pro
dace this result, namely coaguiation o
the vital fluids, and, consequently death
But his affords Us no Warrant for assam
lug that the lesser quantity Is neutral o.
.nactiye. 1t enters the blood, and etrcu
.ateS through the system a. .alCohol, II
The Mountaineer. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1859-1861, 1861-01-05
A COMMERCIAL VIEW OF sir
....: S.. !. = ,CESSI0N. =. =.

~ I'D z Z. I'D AEtF = -
w E. may as wen: have a word about
seee}s, s as about ally other Improbable
50 10 2s :. als2lslle " n
nss,s "a ,3 HI ,l,ss ~, ,,;I
tfor,, ara t,,sg s.; go,
,,i.If in /, ,s;,,Ss ,joj,,, n ,;; %,,;iI y
EkrIy "a in,crior,,
/ ibe Santl, ft3rotfi;} f;3sl;,,E = - :
s. n Soith CaTolintt IA :; ri.rl,t Ia. 60
eeda othot Si5,,5 IN, :, asa !, ,.;,.l,,
or,ay n;,,be ,,r aiIcr Estais ,,,,1s,"a
i,en tI,at IN ~, r,,..,,t Mite MEL. IN
lie Ifnftoi, tIirty.t IA 'sbo;i sesc,ic. Ia !,
/ iIir: only one. h liz RcIni, rs TaEuIian,
wSuld no crqlitogs: aE liz u, 49, n,s,,,
faoL .for Tia na yfon, 10 ,io> Il $1,000
Dsi,tl And II fjIaf sinyjr stste for r.,
stsscs v,,re Wv. I,'rSs, M I.a,, ,,,ob
noi,,,y wn,,ld The ,,rt.ti;tnrs * ml"I,, ~,
M getY, ,,., - ~
IF S6nfh carojin,a,s snca,isg :.sl,o a.,
mil f. y,It os fbc io,,sl n ~, ,y;.,m
me- IS se,3i rs MAJ. go ,'rsse,f, ;,,
pns, tJs.cs What vii '' t,',s;,,ass' ~, ~
~ q, tI,is Wl,o wisb oc,'' i'll, r., NM,
ta tSeir sGn,bSrn IN ,s,stf,;aarS hs f;oaa,
re,I,infJe,; tI,rougI IN mail ti,st ssgiaiy
! nntes lar list sSrin,y,s. t'~NiS are, fnlIins
dneg - =, ~
~ ~ St,nth t,srali,a, ecs4,lss sbe ,,fill
EeeSse 10 nav her c,,stoni.bo,,. a. "a d,,tjes
gnt n QUO t;tc NAV ctiS,n. tf,;s go. 49,
lion rvfrv oiLcr. nrsr Mil tItsn hs,
con,cs of tl,e n,iio1nI rey,ausE TGr
! Gnyer,,r,aat Will end n,,f 1,adS ,,i,I s,nl
tTi,t II =" -. > s'' y ''>'' " - W.
4. II Sa,tr f,,roI;.a has . ,;,,hi n =, so.
"a. sbc las - Y.i1bI r. 800, a, an
ts,,a a. ~ wotI,as a. a,,o,isr Sn ~ ~,
Chr o S,a5r stni'.ass' tIs1 tba FsI',rsi
I 9;aycrIn1rmt were e /, nav SiTll t,t5,S Doo
fnr Cuh,, and ware 10 oi,n;t tho :t.i,niI
a S:taIc mr. moe 81 ~ w;6,,I, b, 81 :
ri,,Ir,. tiEc Scntk f,tr,,li,;n.. 4, ScerrIe ~
any, time aud might sccetiG:t the yerx:. next
The Mountaineer. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1859-1861, 1861-01-05

with the kings sister, Catherine Ainalla,
4 and, with his Soyersiefls consent. mar.
rfed her. The registry Of this marriage,
we read IN a Rhine paper, is still to be
seen At Rnggebcfg In the same year.
( Garfbaldi took Catherine home 10 Aihc.
rio; but, fortune failing the patriot, Theo.
5dute fled before the Genoese 20 ENGLAND,
where lie became the idol aud butt of
Nnlpelct who tratluced kisrharactet and
wrote the inscription over his monument
tin S. AfneE Church be@ailihg the for,
tune which Bestowed a kingdom and de.
Ented him bread Joseph Battista Marin
Garjhaidi fed from Corsica 10 Nice.
where, after the French conquest and DC.
Eeupaticn Of the island put an end 10 Tile
last hopes OF Independence. be forgot pol.
tiles and practlced o. o physieian Ills
grandson Is the Dictator. Meanwhile
the offences Of the Bpnapartcs agninstthe
GaFibhldis have crown III bulk aud atre-
city Corsica has been Wade French.
Nice Inns ntw been made French. The
.nld country, tile new country are mike
gone. More. the very last home ofthe
mere ~ Hlctlitecus 81. &c 80
Gaprcra, the lonely green rock In the
Straits of Bolifacio, which he has bought
With bis gains and pcoplcd with his pigs
aud asses belongs TO The islaud 81 Sar.
dina, and iiilst fellow lis path shoald 4
new recovery d territory 10 France
take place. Thus, the Bonapartes seem
ito chdSe The Garibaldis ike III evil fate.
leaving them no foot cf earth on which
the soles Of their feet can rest In peace
Who can wonder atlthe IlIctttor,s doubt.
suspicion, and tiislikei Aromatic spec,
ulatiou may be allowed to. Gloss the
:rpcnrdsof these romantic facts. Theodore
King of Corsica, left no lawful son. An
illegitimate son, known about Lonl0i
streets as Colonel Frederick, . man or
mark in lis day, pfstultd himself under
one Of the portlies Of Westminster Ab.
hey. Tie title Inns been declared BY the
Coraean Parliament hereditary TO iFheo.
.d6re's family, d near branch Of which
Dictator g aribald now represents. Thus,
GaFibaidi'stftle to The. throne Of Corsica
sis.j just as good as TINT Of Louis Napoleon
was q dozen years ago to the throne Of
France ~ L ssssss.t Ss.t
4 e 80 - 70 o.
The Mountaineer. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1859-1861, 1861-01-05
: AiSrflta HRaas. !.

lhKE SUSPENSIONS &C harlenton g. c.) news
Of the 2Sth STATE that the State Bank Of south
Garelina, the baIil' " the State Of South Caro-
liha, and tho Railroad bault, haye suspended.
The Planters aud Mechanics banks will to-
morrow, t2plh :
AlI$the baukS Of tho city OF st. Louis, except
the Nccianits which withstood the pressure
Of 1851 suspended specie payment on tho
2Stli p s, f-i" ~: s'z@ 9-%y,t.
/. The EspaRa. Of Madrid. complains that the
circulation ii Protestant Bibles is allowed 10
continue, ~. ::~...g D..
AscadlBg TO judicial stnilstles lately print.
ed, the police aud Rstabulary force in Eng.
land aud Wales consists Of 20. tg7 men, Of which
l51 are t'lleteciiyes.}' The total cost Last year
was 81 fs6 go Is. 1@l, Or fl2 2ssper man.
In tire Law regulating the sale Of ardent Spi.
:rtts Ia NebrasEa Ia the following pGnishment
for violation: '"The1J dsties shall render jGdg-
6ent for the whole amounted zine and costs
arid b6 co6ilnl,ted to the common jail until oil
rs paid.''.. z". i Z. e.fssts 20, @:ss4st+E
Il Is only quarter Of q century since the
inst steamer crossed the ocean, and now tho
annual eastern apil western trips Of steamers
connecting, EdrePo with America are said By a
Now York paper TO By ss5 Ia naunber. We
shall soon hays daily sEttyal. 49,. H.. a.
The PrUssan Ga;sss says that 400 persons
have 5iej In Southern Russia and Kisyo trem
the puHsturc Of a description u poisonous fly
which made It's way FROM Asia, About Go,ot
10 years ago a great number Of persons died
from similar eausG. 49, ....-....
I A WIShFAtL A msh named Joseph Burn
ham, who rcIhoS Cd some ysnrs since from
Nidileton, in Rutland county, Vermont, TO
has recently been discovered TO be
heir TO au immense property In England 1t
seems that Gn agent Of the English government
has beeu over to investigate the matter, and
the result is the finding Of tho heir, a sou Of
! tile brother Of tbs testat0r, by whose viii the
Viniiatl comes. in the person Of atr B. A mar,
rict daughter Of the fortunate man resides in
Rutland, Tic estate amounts to the round
san 2oo. ',. ~.
: Ar. wing been made by the Engiisi,
3, to GarilGldi for permission ~ purchase piece
Of ground to build a Protestant Church in
Napcs, the Dictator, With complimentary
g. wtLds, .raulSI tito dsslee,
The Mountaineer. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1859-1861, 1861-01-05
THE STUFFED car.

: r A.
TitE Partisan papers tell singular stories,
sometimes; aud IN such d style, TOO, that
We are compelled 10 believe them. Here
lis Que Of them: X Il ~ !, ~ ;.3
An old Iagpicker died, recently, in
Paris III d state 81 most Affect poyerty.
Ills only relation wasa niece. Who lived
as a servant with greengrucer. The
girl always assisted her uncle as far as
her mcans would permit. When slie
learned Of his death, which took place
suddenly, she WAS on the point Of MAR
.flage with a Journryman baker, to whom
she had been long attached The nuptiaI
day was fixed. but Slzctte had not yet
bonglit her we,lding-elot She hast.
ened to tell her lover, that tho. wedding
must be deferred: she wanted the price IL
her bridal duery 70 lay her uncle dsccntly
in the grave Her mistress ridienlcd tie
idea and exhurted her 10 leave tho old
laail 70 be buried By charity. Suzettc
refused Tue consequences was a quarrel,
Ifnswhich the woman lost her pIace and
her lover who sided with her mistress.
She hasteaed 70 the miserRble garret where
her uacle had expired, aud by the sacri.
nee not nnly VI her wedding attire. bnt
nearly oh tho rest OF her shoulder Ward.
robe, she had the old man decently M
tered. Her pious task fulfilled she sat
alouc ID her uncle'sroom weeping bitterly,
/ when the master Of her faithless lover, a
good looking Young man, entered, $50,
my SuzctteSl find you haye lost your
place, said be; II am come to offer Won
one for lie. VIII you marry, mop 81
|.slr! You are joking No, faith; /
want q wife, and Pm sure can't find q
yon 10 iaafids = ~ XII sssai i;fs NE
OH IL that ia your only objection. we
shall soon get over it; come, come along,
my mother is prepared 10 receive you
ESuzette htSitatcd no longer, but sbo
wished to take with her testimonial OF
her deceased uncle it was a eat he had
lad for many years. The old man was 50
fond Of the animal, that be determined
that even death ShOuldu not separate them.
for he had her stuffed, and placed her oil
tho tester Of his bed. As Suzette took
down puss, she uttered an exclamation of
surprise nj finding her SO heavy. The
loter hastenedt 10 open the animal, when
out fsli a shower vf gold. There was
thousand louis concealed IN the body of
the eat. and this sum, which the old man
bud starved himself 10 amass, became the
just reward Of the worthy girl and her
'disittefeSted lover. -.
The Mountaineer. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1859-1861, 1861-01-05
5rlettilna.
WILKES 10 We y.
- h, IS IS So s.5i.gl %. =.
ny MARY F6RMAN.

Ill
tnWlIY don't you niarryY said Mr.
Harcourt TO her brother.in:law, after hear,
! ing patiently n long string OF complaints
4 traecable to his bachelor condition. She
was leaning back indoleutIy in her chair
and started at the bitter scorn in her couE
panion's looks and tone as he answered
her. &c. r.. 81 ...Ez~@.r.! .>i..s gss% -
MARRY! are You hooking me, Hannah!
: Who would marry niep 4ss.< @.:s,,.
Herose as he spoke, and the movement
gave aiearfal emphasis to his words His
face, Invested Of its seornful look was
beautiful, not handsome In the poetieal
= idea Of manly beauty, but lovely Gswo-
nau's Clustering eurls Of light hair fell
y over high white forehead, aud large blue
eyes, full Fof Intelligence, were shaded By
!; long, thick lashes, darker than the curl
Ing hair. The features were chiselled hike
those Of a Greek statue, the straight nose,
flH lips, and delicate chin were almost
childtike 10 theirsoft outlines; but glanc,
ing from the face TO the fgtirsf you Iin,
derstOod the cause Of the bitteraquestiou
ne asked, From the effects of u fall
when quite young, the spine was injured,
and the figure Nature had intended ito DC
slight and graceful Mas twisted and de
formed most fearIuily; one knee. too, a;
injured by The sane full, aud his gait Wds
slew and batting. Yet, spite. of Ina. de,
tormIty, Dr. HaFcogrt was 10 full prtc
gee as physician, and universally be
loved His patients declared that Iii
small white hand brought healing in il
,oaclli his brother physicians spoke high
y OF bis knowledge and skill, and LITTLE
suffering childrenstretched ont their arm,
70 DO taken into his, hnshipg their criei
when his soft, musical VOICE met theil
them. ;,.s - .E:ztt-s 80. f..
For moment Mrs. Hareourt was ST
leht, then she stretched forth her hand
SAYING; Il did not mean to pain you
Nliiie5 love you 50 dearly. and see yor
% universally beloved, that. spoke OnlJ
- ielt, Willie, dear, you are TOO sen
- h'tiEe. With such . heart and lniall a!
you eau offer, any woman might be proug
70 call Jon hasband.g RI 1, ~,..s 81, .-.
me soft melancholy that was hahitua
y" the Doctors face rrept. over IL As hi