Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1861-06-29
dry joke in the midst of the wa
Fact, Fancy and Fun.

VanQuishea.
--Hasty people drink the wine of life
scalding hot.
A glorious camp meeting that, at
Fortress Monroe.
"A new tug for the Southern navy
-"the tug of war;
A Motto for the Privateer's Flag
--"W Watch and Prey
Who wants a better s.National
Him. than Gen. Scott?
Important to Flying Artillery
The art of gun (h)urry.
The Brigade that ought to reap
Glory-Sickles' Brigade.
The best life is not very long. Is
it worth while to hate each other?
Motto for Faro Bank.--"A good
workman is known by the number of
his chips.'
-ssDred Scott Decision. The de-
cision Of the rebel leaders not to take
Washington.
Who is very unpopular officer
with some of the ladies' General
Housework.
when a lady, with false teeth,
smiles, she may be considered making
a dead "set' at once.
The chap who recently converted
his hat into brickyard, has plucked
the feathers from, the wing of house.
shakespeare evidently was speak
ing for Gen. Butler when he said -
''Norfolk we must have; ha! must we
not %
A coquette is rose-bush, from
which every young beau plucks a lie af,
and the thorns are left for the hus-
band.
There is not hing so true that the
damps of error have not warped it;
nothing so false, that sparkle of truth
il rot III it.
Virginia Election-So far as heard
from, the Secessionists of Virginia
have chosen to run far ahead of the
Union men.
"A Frenchman intending to compii-
ment young lady by calling her a
gentle lamb, said, "She is one mutton
as is small"
The extreme pleasure we take in
talking of ourselves should make us
fear that we give very little to those
who listen to US.
When heaven chastises us we
should kiss the rod. When beauti-
ful female eye looks reproyingly at us,
we should kiss the lash.
-Bragg's good dog out Hold Fast
is better.-Col. Slemmer still holds
ffttst Fort Pickens in spite Of the rebel
forces under Gen. Bragg.
Why must we conclude, when see-
ing pretty little female foot, that it
belongs to handsome woman? Be-
cause, "All's well that ends well.'
"A Mr.. HEM has just started a
new paper in Iowa. He says he hopes,
by hard scratching, to make a living
for himself and his little chickens.
"A young American Lady being
asked, by a boring politician, which
party she was most IN favor of, replied,
that she pre- ferred wedding party.
The chairman of a political meet
ing, seeing a rowdy who was raising
his arm to throw stale egg at him,
bawled out, "Sir, your motion is out of
order -
There is a chap down East, with
hair so ssauburn," that when he goes
out before day lie is taken for sunrise.
BOOSTERS crow, hens cackle, cattle-bel-
low, &c.
"A School-master requesting a little
boy who had been whispering, to step
into the next room, is wittily spoken of
by one Of our exchanges as starting
on whaling excursion"
One of the female slaves received
at Fort Monroe declared that she had
ga kinda aoerry kind massa!" "Why.
bless the Lor'!'' she added, in proof
of the fact, che aseber put aosres TN hss
couhides i,s aN has hye!"
1t is reported that one of the slaves
at Newport News, on being questioned
as to whether he had run away from
his master, replied, s'No, golly, massa
run oaooy from me! When he see de
soldiers comm he run like de debil.
snec' he's gone te Richmond"