Ashtabula weekly telegraph. [volume] (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1853-1873, 1861-07-20
MY LUCK.

know l am celebrated l do not
blush to confess it. It's not my fault
cannot help it. l am perfectly aware that
| am chronicled in story, invoked in song,
and immOrtalIzed in comedy l know that
you have heard Of me a thousand times,
but l am not to blame ! It's my
luck.
There never lived man who naturally
and nstinctively shruuk from fame with 50
much sensiliveuesS as myself, yet thus l
have had it thrust upon me = can only
repeat RS my internal luck
| cannot endure this state Of things
any longer ; l must burst out III regard
to my SutlerIngS /; there must be some
thing doue, Or l shall certainly go mad.
I'll call "a public meeting I'll appeal 10
ihe Legislature ; I'll change my name I'll
get divorce from the cursed fate that fol-
lows me
know I'm excited feel it But con.
found 1t what else could you expect In
deed, need your indulgence--l want your
sympathy Sympathy? Why, l never
met with such thing in my life, except
from one Individual, and he died next
day 1t is not sufficient that | am misera
able | am not allowed to luxurate 10 my
own private wretchedness my woes are
dragged before the public my own private
sOrrowS are made the theme of general
mIrth My agonleS are considered in an in
| finite degree more amusing than the most
| laughable OF comicalitieS.
| have myself seen q thousand people
griuaug, hyGua-llke, over the wretched
Guy Goodluck, as protrayod by that inhu.
mau wretch of q comedian, William +.
Burton. That diaboIicsl farce, that iden-
tlcal petit comedy" is the vcrltablC trans
crpt OF very few pages extracted at ran
dom from the record Of my life. | was the
victim of the Vaccinations Of that infer.
nal diabolical John Jones ! / am that
rash aud most unfortunate man. there.
in fcttlously styled Guy Goodluck.
wish to convince you that there never
| lived man SO pertinaciously haunted by
msfortuneS as myself aud IN order TO at
tain this end, l will annex a schedual Of
the incidents accompanying tour through
the States, which | some two years since
undertook and / am convinced that you
will unhesitatingy accord that distinctive
sppellation, The unfortunate man
l left this city for Charleston, in q YES
sci recommended as fast sailer, on Fri.
day in preference to waiting to the follow
ing Monday for the steam packet. TIE
ships voyage for years previous had aver.
aged something less than five days but |
was on board my interests were concern
ed and the vessel was driven off by a trC-
meudous gale, and thirty.fOur days elapsed
before We reached Charleston, minus the
mizenmast and fOre-tOp mast, aud in a state
Of incpient starvation.
Just my luck
l stayed in Charleston a week, and then
took the morning railroad train for Angus
ia. Should have been in Augusta between
four aud five o'clock p. Nj. Locomotive
broke down, OUliging US TO walk about 5
miles in q drenching rain and we did not
arrive until two the next morning. Hotels
were all closed no beds except the soft
side of plank at the depot.
At the hotel in Augusta, the weather
being fine aud warm, they gave me a room
without any fireplace and looking to tn,
north through three large windows Thai
afternoon an influx oftravlerS filled the house
SO that they had not square inch to spare
and then the weather changed. The mex
were the only really cold days tina
had visited Augusta in 5 years.
OF course caught cold that stuck b,
me for 6 months
Left Augusta in the stage-coach 70
Florida at o'clock, on as fine and evening
as ever was seen. Before night there cam
! down such a rain as has not been know
since the days of Noah in the midst o
/ which the coach capsized in the woods, ant
l we spent nearly the whole remainder of th
night al fresoo, in getting again under way
Rode in wet clothes until breakfast time
. and then, being late, they allowed us n
7 time to change them, and obliged us to rid
. on undried, Pushed on all day aud anothe
+ night, without any respite came to rive
where, for 20 years previous, there ha
: been bridge strong enough TO stand agains
g any freshets but as wanted to cross il
= it had been washed away the previous nigh
S After some delay, We put ourselves into
crazy concern of a fiat boat, and crosse
8 coach and all. During which operation m