The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1861-08-21

Ou0 u Sn0 nome s00f0os
The moment the flag was threatened
large bodies of men were called upon to
rally in its defence. Being large bodied
man, rallied and enrolled myself with the
Home Guards. The drill is very severe on
me this hot weather, although I am con.
SANITY allowed an attendant with a fan
and pitaher Of ice water. | am a living
paradox, for while getting 'Hardec' | am
daily growing weak. Talk about "thc times
that tried mems SOULS" these are the times
that try mems feet IL they have got any
The captain takes pleasure in putting me
thro' at double quick. When 60 off |
think it will bs with double quick" con
sumption.
am constantly reminded that one Of the
first requirements of soldier Is to throw
out his chest and draw in his stomach
Having been burned out several times
while occupying rooms in the attic, have
had considerable practice in throwing out
my chest, but to what system Of practice
could ever hope to draw in my stomach
l can't dress up"--it's no use trying. IF
my vest buttons are in line am far in the
rear, and if toe the mark fearful bulge
indicates my position. (Thcre is no room
for argument in regard to my sentiments
everybody can see at a glance just where
! stand.) One evening we had new drill
sergeant who was near sighted. Running
his eyes down the line he exclaimed sharp
~ NV hat is that man doing in the ranks
with bass drum?' He pointed at me,
but hadn't any drum, it was the surplus
stomach that couldn't draw in.
am the butt of numberless jokes, as
YOU may we'll suppose. They have got
story in the Guard that when first heard
the command--"Ordcr Arms'-I dropped
my musket and taking out my note book
began to draw an order on the governor for
what arms wanted. They say ordered
Winan's steam gun, with pair Of Dahl
gren howitzers for side arms. Base fabri.
cations. Ny ambition never extended be.
yond the :iaed cannon, and they knew
It.
Although in respect to size I belong to
the ''heavics," my preference is for the
Light Infantry. One evening spectators
appeared convulsed about something, and
my comrades Uttered by platoons whenever
my back was turned. 1t was all myste.
~ to me until ] laid off my knapsack.-
Some wretch had erased the two final let
tiers and had been paradng all the even.
ing labeled Light Infant r. The above is
one of the thousand annoyances to which
am subjected, and nothing but my con-
Stunning patriotism could ever induce me to
it. rallied at the call Of the country and
am not to be put out by the raliying Of my
comrades
overheard spectator inquire Of u
drill Sergeant one day, "'Do you drill the
whole of him ut once ="
"No." he returned, in an awful whisper,
"Idr;N him By squads!'
would have drilled him if had bay
onct.
Specifications have been published in re.
gard to my uniform and contractors adver.
'ised for. Making will be let out to the
lowest bidder. In case the Guards arc
ordered to take the field special Com
missary will be detailed to supply my IA.
tons. That reminds me of narrowing
incident. On drill last night an old far
ner, who dropped in to see us drill, took
me aside and said he wanted to sell me
yoke Of powerful oxen.
My ancient agriculturist," said I, smil.
ingat his simplicity, have no use for
oxen.
Perhaps not at PRESENT." auoth he,
out II you 80 10 war you Will want
them"
FOR what ?" said I, considerably an.
noyed.
Want EN- to drop your rat;ons."
The Guards paid me delicate compli-
mont at the last meeting. They elected
me "Child Of the Regiment with the rank
Of First Corpulent, and the pay Of chief
Blower" was about to return thanks
in neat and appropriate speech when
reporter who was present assured me it
was no use-hc had got the whole thing
in type, speech and all, and could read it
in the evening paper. He said they kept
'neat and appropriate Speech standing
in type contin ually. got his views and
held my peace.
Yours for the Union, including
the Stars, also the Stripes
FAT CoNTRIBU TOR.