Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1861-07-12

pairing for batl'., he was prepar' d for the
festivities OF u wedding party. Five hours
afterwards bullet sped throueh his heart
first cutting in two badge Of engine com
pany Ne. II, of New York, that gliuered
upon his breast.
ELECTION FOR MEMBERs or rHE Con-
FEpERATE CoSGREss, PRtsIDENr AND
i cg-PEEsIphNr.--I he net providing for
/ the permanent organization OF the Govern
ment requires that in all those States in
which no provision has been made fJi the
/ election OF members Of Congress under
I The new Constitution, an election shall be
held on the first Wednesday i'll November
next. at which time the election Of Electors
for President and Vice President shall also
be held. The Electors are required to
meet in their respective States on The first
Wednesday in Decembe, thereafter, and
proceed 10 east their votes for President aud
Vice President. The members who may
be elected, and the Senators to be chosen by
ihe States, shall assemble at the seat of
government of the Confederate States, on
Tue Sth day of February. 1862, and pro-
ceed respectively 10 the election of Speaker
Of the House and President of the Senate.
On the l9ih day Of February, the Presi-
dent of the Senate shall open the certi-
Gates; the votes shall then be counted, aud
the President inaugura'ed on the 22i day
OF February, 1862.
Two gentlemen noted for their fondnesS
of exaggeration, were discnssiug the fare
at different hotels One observed that a.
his hotel lie had tea 50 strong it was neces-
,ary to confne it in an iron vessel. +" AT
mine" said The other, it is made so weak
it has not strength 10 run out Of the tea
pot"
A friend while talking of his skill in
the skating line, was boasting TO another
that he could cut any letter, large or small
with his skates upon the ice. +" How do
you manage to dol the is said the other
- Oh, easily enough" was the reply.
cut the body of the letter, and on putting
on the turn at the bottom, my heels gem
orally slip from under me, and come down
in sitting position, making the most per
feet dot you ever saw"
1T seems to me have seen your physi-
ognomy somewhere before" said swell TO
stranger whom he met the other day; ''but
| cannot imagine where" Very likely"
replied the other; have been the keep
er Of prison for the last twenty years"
i" Gentlemen of the jury" said western
lawyer, q don't mean to iasinuate that
this gentleman is covetous person, but
I'll bet five to one that it you should bait
steel trap with new three cent piece, and
place il within three inches of his mouth,
you would catch his soul"
Don't the clouds be gin to break ?" in
quired Harriet during yesterdays rain
Sac was impatient for an opportunity to go
hopping.
Guess So" was the answer, as the
speaker glanced from the window, guess
they're broke, they leak bad enough to be"
Ia the game of life men most frequently
play the knave, and women the deuce.
A coun,ryman was seen staring at the
signs in Albany, when pert clerk asked
him if lie wished TO buy some gap-secd.--
" No, don't want none" was the reply
:" am looking al this little town. talk oil
buying it"
A negro woman was relating her expert
ence to q gaping congregation OF her own
color, and among many other things she
said she lad been to Heaven. One Of the
brothers then asked her:
8 Wen, sister, did you see any black
folks in heaven 2"
She replied: Oh, you git out-s'pose
went into the kitchen when was dar 2"
A lazy fellow begged aims, saying he
could not find bread Tor his flm;ly. Nor
l." replied an Industrious mechanic, I" am
obliged to wook for it,"
Nothing more quickly betrays character
than laugh. Let me hear man laugh
said Democritus, aud | will tell you his his
tory"
Marriage" said an unfortunate husband,
/" is the church-yard of love" -" Aud YOU
men," replied the not less unhappy wife,
are the graye-diggers."
An avaricious man is like sandy desert,
that sucks in all the rain, but yields no fruit
ful herbs 10 the inhabitants.
What IS that which Adam never saw,
never possessed, and yet he gave two to
each OF his children? Parents.
To a lover there are bat two places in all
the world--one where bis sweetheart is.
and the other where she isn't.
She isn't all that fancy painted her .
bitterly exclaimed rejected lover; " and,
worse than that. she isn't all that she paints
herself"
An article denouncing the deceasc Of a
person, says, " Ills remains we're committed (
to that bourn whence no traveller returns I
attended by his frieuds.r
\ LsssoS Foe THE DCLL.-If those
who are the enemies OF innocent amuse-
nent had the direction of the world they I
would take away the spring and youth
tfs.,f ~.