Clearfield Republican. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1851-1937, 1861-12-25

rtns Don't YOU mean 10 mutV my
dear sii ~ mo. ms leat widow, VA ta,
ihpt osc IN tho ribs lte got than take
another"
M An Eastern editor is delighted At
having been nearly called "honey" by the
gal be loves, because she sauted him ut
the last meeting Va "Ud BeeswaN" D"
tsy Col Mulliean, the hero Of lcNing
ton, has not very high opinion Of Home
Guards, lie thirks them, like the Wide
Awakes, "mriaciJis in peace and mrisiJis in
war"
nee-A moral debating society out West
is engaged in discussion on the follow
ing question! "If a husband deserts his
wife, which is the most abandoned the
man or the woman"
B9-"O, Charley" said little fellow to
another, "we're going to have a cupola on
our house,
"Pooh, that's nothing" rcjoinsd the
other, ''pa's going to get a mortgage on
ours"
reA~ A country girl, coming from the
field was told by her cousin that she look
ed fresh as a daisy kissed with dew
: Well, it wasn any feller by that name
that kissedme. told him that every one
in town would find it out"
B1s~"Here's your fine extras" bawled
little white haired fellow, the 9th er day,
as he ran down Main street with his hand
full of slips that he had for sale. Heres
your fine extras-great battle at Molasses
Junction, Bulls Gun is taken, and the
Publican troops have returned to Har.
flax"
B0g~ Many papers give the dying words
of great men, but none of them are so
touching and beautiful as the last words
Of the old schoolmaster:
at is growing Gark-school may be dis
missed
Down to the gates of an unseen world
he carried the love and regard of the chill.
den whom he had trained. 1t was his
last kind dismissal in this world of school
ing.
DsSp Think about yourself, and what you
like, what respect people ought to pay to
you, what people think of you, and then
to you nothing will be pure. You will
spoil everything you touch, you will make
sin and misery for yourself, out OF every
thing which God sends you, you will be as
wretched as you choose on earth, or in
heaven either.
FAcTsFoR THE PEorLE.-The Republi>
cans in Congress voted down or refused to
accept the Crlttenden Compromise the
border State Compromise; Mr.. Douglas
Compromise; Bigler's proposition to sub
NIT the Crittenden Compromise to vote
of the people, and Adams Compromise.
Let no man forget tn ESQ facts
ne1pAn old sort of genius, having
stepped into mill was looking with ap-
parent astonishment at the movements of
the machine when the miller thinking to
quiz HIN, asked Il ne had heard the
news.
"Nots know on, what is i. ?"
Why, replied the miller, they say the
devil is dead"
by jins," says Jonathan, lis he? Who
tends mill then ?"
Hay- Some of the officers OF the First
Virginia at Romney, Va, ale boarding
with the wife of an editor who published
paper there, but who left with the rest
of the Secesh. The lady told the officers
that everything about the house was Sc
cesh, from the tom cat up, and if they
boarded with her, there must be no abo-
lil;on talk. The officers willingly accept
ed the coz editions, and were getting along
finely.
MODERN DEFINITIONS. -Oversight-To
leave your old umbrella in a news room
and carry away Few one.
Unfortunate Man-One born with a
conscience.
Progress OF Time-A pedlar going thro'
the land with wooden clocks.
Rigid Justice-A juror on a murder
case fast asleep.
MISUNDERSTANDING fifty thousand
dollars which you never intend to pay.
Honesty-Almo,t obsolete term for
merly used in the case of man who paid
for his paper.
Credit-A wise provision " which con.
stables and sherifs get living.
Love An ingredient used in romance
and poetry.
Religion Damning your neighbor for
not thinking exactly as you do.
A WOODEN MOTHER have heard
OF wooden nutmegs, wooden hams, horn
gun .hints, wooden oats and wooden clocl,s !