Weekly Trinity journal., 1861-06-22
Artcn,us Wards Adventures in the SOuthcrr
COnfesierRcy.

nau q narTer sChpe irOm tue souuy couth,
"The swings and arrers of outraJus fortln,"
alluded to by Hamlick, warnt nothn in COM
parison to my troubles. | came pesky near
swearing sum profane oaths moreen onct but
hope did mt do it for I've promised she whose
name shall be nameless Except that her init tals
is Betsy J.) that I'll jine the Meeting House at
Baldnsville, Jest soon as can scrape money
enuff together so that can ford to be piuss in
good stile, like my wealthy Rabers. But II Pm
confscated agin I'm fraid l shall continner on In
my present bented stats for sum time.
| fggered conspieyusly in many thrillin scenes
in my tower from Montgomery to my humsted,
and on sevrl occasions | thought the "grate
komic paper" wouldn't never be inriched no
more with my lubricaticns. Arter biddin adoo
to jefferson d. started for the depot | saw q
nigger sittin on fence aplayn on banje
any Afrikn Brother" sed |, cotin from u Track
I onct red, "you belong to very interestin
race Your master is going to war exclusively
on your account"
"Yes, boss" he replied, "en' l wish 'em
honorable graves!" and he went on playin the
banjo, larfn all over and openin his mouth wide
enutf to drive in an old-fashncd 2 wheeled chase
The train of cars in which was to trust my
walerable life the scaliest rickytiest lookin'
lot of consarns that | ever saw on wheels afore.
What time dose this string OF second hand
conins leave?' | inquired of the depot master.
He said drecky and | went in and sot down
hadn't more'n fairly squatted, aiore a dark
u
countenance entered the cars, and lookin' very
sharp at me, he axed what was my principles!
"Sesesh - | answered. "I'm Dissolutcr
I'm in favor of JEFF. Davis, Beauregard. Pckens.
Captain Kidd, Bloobeard, Munro Edards, the
devil, Mrs Cunningham, and all the rest OF EN-"
"You're in favor of the war :"
"Certingly. BY all means. I'm in favor OF
this war aud also of the next war. I've been
in favor of the next war for over sixteen
years y
"War to the knve!" sed the man.
"BlLd Fargo, buds" sid (tho' them words
isn't origgernal with me) Them words was rlt
By Shakespeare, who Is dead. His mantle fell
onto the author of "The Seven Sisters who's
going to hav Spring overcoat made out of 1t.
We got under way at larst, an proceeded on
our jcrney at about the rate OF speed which is
ginrally obsarveed by properly conducted funer.
al professions. A hansum young gal, with red
musketer bar on the back part of her he'd and O
sassy little black hat tipt over her forred, set in
the seat with me. She wore little Sesesh flag
pn'd onto her hat, and she was going for to
see her troo love- who had jined the Southern
army, all so bold and gay. So she told me.
She was chilly, and offered her my blanket.
Father lvin' ~ Taxed.
I" Yes sir'
"Got any uncle?"
"a heap. Uncle Thomas is dead, tho"
"Peace to Uncle Thomas's ashes, and success
to him | will be your Uncle Thomas Lean
on me pretty Sesesher, and linger in Blissiul re-
posen She slept as secorly as in her own hous-
en-, and didn't disturb the solemn stiffness OF the
night with 'ary snore.
At the first station troop OF Sogers entered
D the cars. and inquired If Old Wax Works" was
: on bored. That was the disrespcctive stlle in
which they referred to me. Becawz II old
Wax Works is on bored" says u man with q face
like n double. brested lobster, we're going TO
hang old Wax Works!"
any illustrious and patriotic Bummers ~ says
l. gittin up and takin orf my shappoo, II you
allude to A. Ward, IT'S my peasin dooty to in-
form you that he's ded. He saw the errcr OF his
ways at Is mnts parst yesterday, and stabbed
himself with sledslake' dyln' IN hve beautiful
tabloos to slow moosic His larst words was
any perfeshernal career is everl jerk no more"
"And who be your"
"Im a stoodent in Senator Benjamins offs,
I'm goin up North to steal some spoons aud
things for the Southern Army"
This was satisfactory, aud the intosscated
troopers went orr. At the next station the pret-
ty little Sesesher awoke and said she mast git
out there. | bid her kind adoo and Civ her
some pervisions. accept my bessin and this
hunk of gingerbread ~ | sed She thankt me
much and tript galy away. There's considerable
human natur in q man, aud I'm afraid shall
alters give aid and comfort to the enemy II he
comes to me In the shape of nice young gal.
At the next station didn't get orf 10 easy.
was dragged out of the cars and rolled in the
mud for several mnts for the purpose of 4" TAX
in the conseet out of me" as a Sesesher kindly
stated.
was let up finally, when a powerful large Sc
sesher came up and embraced me, and to show
that he had no hard feelings agin me, put bis
nose into nay mouth. returned the compliment
by placing my stummick suddenly agn his right
foot, when he suddenly made spittoon OF his
able bodied face. Actooated by desire to see
whether the Sesesher had bin vaxinated, then
tnoNh anti 10 af gppVp
tore il to the shoulder. We then vilently hunted
our heads together for few minutes, danced
around a little, and sot down in mud puddle.
We rz to our feet agin, * by sudden adrolt
movement placed my left eye agin the Sesesh-
ers fist We then rushed into each others arms,
and fell under two hoss wagon.
I was very much exhausted and didn't care
about getting up agin, but the man said he rec
koned I'd better, and conclooded would. lie
pulled me up, but hedn't bin on my feet more'n
two seconds afore the ground iiew up ana Mt me
In the he'd The crowd said 1t was high old sport,
but couldn't zactly see where the lalture come
/, in | riz and we embraced again We careered
madly to a steep bank, when | got the upper
4 hands of my antaggernist and threw him into
the rayeen He fell about forty feet, striking a
!. prindstone pretty hard. understood he was n-
, iured haven't heard from the grindstene.
man ia a cockt hat cum up and scd be felt
as tho a apology was doc me. There u mis-
take The crowd had taken me Tor another man !
; told him not to mention it, axed him il his wlie
, and little was SOS to be about, and got on
bored the train, which had stopped at that station
" 20 minits for refreshments" got all wantld'
II was the harties meal | ever et
. | was rid on a rale the next day, bunch OF
blazin fire crackers ben tied to my coat tales IL
was fine spectycal in dramatic pint oi vew'
but didn't enjoy it, had other adventers of
! startlin kind, but why cOntinner? Why lasserate
the Public Boozum with these here things Suf-
dsit to say got across Mason and Dixies line
safe at last. .,
made tracks for my bumsted, bat she with
/ whom Pm harnlst for life failed to recognize IN
the emashatcd bein who stood before her, the
! gushn youth of forty-six Summers VINO had e''
her only few months afore. But | went into