The south-western. [volume] (Shreveport, La.) 1852-1870, 1861-11-13

A RoARIxG Ops-e-..
remain silent, whle l have a voice
i: +his assembly The gentleman, sir cannot e2 ssys
late this matter any future time that is more suitable
than now. BE may talk, sir of the HeIculcan revolu
tons where republics hurled into arctic regions and
the works OF Centraus refrigerated to ashes-but sir
tell him, indefatgably that the consequences
thererOm, multiplied simultaneously by the eVcraSt
ing principles consended for thereby can no more shake
this resolution, than the of Niagara reuyenate
around these walls, the howl of the midnight temp
est con1agrate the marble statue into ice. That's what
told them.
A NICE LITTLE on Dr-A millionaire Of Paris wrote
to ascrbc my dear sir havea great desire to become
associated with you in some dramatic composition VIII
you do me the favor to write comedy aud permit me
70 ADD to i few lines of my OWN will then have it
produced in the most costly and splendid style upon
the stage, at my own expense, and will share the
glory To which scribe answers: ''My dear sir must
decline your hltterng proposal because religion teach
me it is not proper that horse and ass should be
yohcd together" To which the millionaire replies:
Sir have received your impertineut cpiste. BY
what authority do you call me a horseo
4 dashing young widower in one Of the southern
States, by the name OF Fowler took quite liking to
young lady whose name Cloud and whose fash
ing eyes dealt largely in electrical influences During
their courship which was somewhat of public affair
town and country drives being the order of the day
the gentemans friends frequently expressed their re-
gre at hiSbecomingsO becOuded After theiruarriagw
one Of them congratulated him on the happy occasion
'beclOuded, he would have clear sunshine before him
the of his days. A by-stander at this shook bis
head, and gravey replied that invariably when Clouds
turned Fowler you might lookout for squalls,
An English officer at Venice, walking one day from
the Doges palace thought he observed one Of the fig
ures Of the c0cktower of st. Marks stoop down and
take up something. lie looked again and, he actually
the figure take pinch of snuff! The officer con
essedhc was apPrehensye that he was losing his senses
that his visUa deranged when an old wo-
observing his Consideration pyn3ipaG
seeming miracle ley telling him that one OF the figures
that struck the hour being Of repair her nephew
had been engaged as substitute till the machinery
put in order
RAILROAD WAG5EEY.-Waggs went TO the depot of
Of our railroads the other dav aud finding the best
car full, said in a loud tone:-
why, this car isn't going"
Otcours2 these words caused general stampede and
Wages took the best seat The cars soon moved Off
In the midst ofthe indignation the wag was questioned:
"Nou sald this wasn't gong?n
"Weil, il wasn't then but it is now
The ''soId' laughed Iittie-but Wages came rather
near good thrashing.
"A beautiful dav Mr. Jenkins
Yes, very pleasant, indeed Good day for the race"
"Race-What Tace?'
1.-THE human race
ooh, 60 along with your stupid jokes, get up good
one like tha one with which sold Day"
"Day-@hat dsy?'
"Thc day we celebrate, said jenkins, who went on
his way rejoicing.
young man iromthe country, going to call on some
young ladies the other evening, he told that he
must ask them singand should they refuse he ought
to press them. Accordingly he commenced by request
ing Miss Mary to favor him with song She gently
declined, slid she had bad cold sc
Well, th4n, NTH, said our hero 'thuppose squeeze
you, don'tIyou think you might thing?'
The GIRL tainted immediately
"Goodulcrning Dennis. You have at last perceive
displayed tastc III the purchase of hat"
lhrue Tor YOU sin; sure il has crown, anyhow but
look at the m brogues, sir; amt they legant?'
10 this assentcd but observed that Lis coat seemed
to fit him too much"
''Och." 5aid he in a confidential manner, .therc's
nothing surprising in that; sure wasn't there when
was measured for it.
NATURE AND ART.-"Ah Eliza cried puritan |
preacher I'd young lady who bad Just been making her
hair into beautiful riugets
"Ah, Eliza, had God intended your locks to be curl
ed he would have cured them for you.n
"When Z was an infant replied the damse, $50 he /
did, but ndw am grown up, he thinks am able to
do it myself'
WlLLMd TO EluGRArE.--''Na' said young lady to
her mother the other day, ''what is emigratiugy"
Emigra ing, dear, is young lady going to Austria
la"
"What il colorIizing, MAJ"
"Colouiz ng, dear, is marrying there and having a
family
ana, should like 10 90 to Australia"
little fur year old Boy one day when company
was present. wished seat at the table but was sent
away with dhe remark that his whskers were not long
enough fort lin to sit there. The little chap took
seat by stand, when the servant gave him his dinner
While eathg it, the house cat came puring around
him, when he said oh 60 Off your whiskcrs are big
enough toryo to cat at the other table
care ydu the Judge of reprobates9" asked Mrs
Parugton she walked into the Office Of judg- Of
} q am a Judge Of probate was the reply.
"Wen, that's it, expect quoth the lady. "You t
see my father died detesed aud left several little inf
des and want to be their .ezecutiouer. 3
MORE BUf LEss-'It is a very singular thing" said
aiI0rs apprentice to his MASTER the Iattg was n
pressing obta coat "that the less there is ofisom5
things the more there is ,a-
Glow ca b that be2o said the tailor. Il.
''Why there is that bobtaied coat-he less YOU make
the tail the mere bob it IS" 0
FRAGNENE Or ARABIC PoETRY.-An Arabian having
brought Hush o 4 madens cheek BY the carnestness
IF his gaze said to her "Hy looks have planted
your che4ks why forbid me to gather them? The law
permits hind who sows to reap the harvest" Il
If there vas such law in Caddo parish, how l.
Young meuB minds would turn to agricultural "
A burglar was once frightened out of his scheme s.
If robbery by the sweet simplicity Of solitary spin "
ter who putting her nght-capped head out of the +
window, eIclaimed-"Go away, amt YOU ashamed" 81
The lays pf the nightingale may be very deghtulto r.
welfed man. but the lays Of hen are relisbed more OF
" a hungry one. jc
A WON, n Of satirca mind was asked by her Pl
riends if The really intended TO marry Mr.; adj IL
ling, that lEr--wasa good kind Of a man, but so u
cry singular. "Wel," replied the lady $50 much the n
etter hi is very much unlike other men, he is much Ii
more likely to become good husband ID
They tcla story about tailor dunning 4 man for st
He amOuntof lis bill. The man replied: II
II am ofry very sorry, indeed that can't pay i'll" v
"Wel slid the tailor u took YOU for man that %
.ould lie yc sorrybut if you are sorrier than am u
Il quit"
recent tHaveler in Australia records the following
necdotc
lack s,d n man to lad lust entering his teens ~