The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1860-12-27

themselves nearly to death for long time beforehand
BrIdeto-be inks her fingers in addressing envelopes
TO 4 thousand peopic-frends Friends send pres
ents, trumpery Bride-to-be kisses the friends when
she sees them and thanks them for the beautiful gifts
Hnbbub, more envelopes. more presents A terribly
hard days work, and then the friends come. They
don't bring opera glasses for there's need Of them
But they have the interest in the show as they
would have at the theater. Enter the parties 10 the
contract, pale, jaded used up. Love, honor, obey
y, yes, Of course and all that Hurry along priest
this Is not what the friends have come 10 hear
Tramp, tramp, three hours of people always saying
the same thing; three hours of the sensation the
Siamese twins might feel when exhibition. Only,
luckily, they didn't understand the language when
they Travelled. As they did understand it
they stopped, lest they shouli be bored to death.
Bride is picked to pieces by her female friends,
Brides cake is picked to pieces by her male friends
and much Of it falls on brides mothers carpet. An
excellent way to begin life, truly. Yet you wouldn't
dare not to do so, much like it your means
afford This welding is the key note of your whole
life There's mOther-in-law in every house. Mrs
Grundy is her name.
You 20 to church Well. you do go to church
with some regularity here, have noticed it. What
hour do you gos You 90 in state of perpetual
strnbLeus-wth eye turned to Saturday and the
other towards Monday. Sunday you is q seventh
day refrigerator, and when you go to your business
again you a cold if you had your hearts
to be repaired and they had been brought back
have much enjoyed seeing you when you wish do
something about which your troublesome conscience
growls. You begin TO look very grave and solemn,
and 10 take the name of duty in vain, and TO make
yourself think you Obeying her in the deed Then
your economy is amusing, exquisely amusing Most !
OF 1t IS stingiuess, and you brag Of it. Once in a
WhIie you practice real economy, and then you are
mostly ashamed of it, and pretend that you did no
such thing. Your benevOence Is rich too. You give /
few dollars 10 the treasurer of charity,
and then you write your cash book, the free
list Is entirely suspendei,'' remembering that you
have the poor with you always, you attend to |
their case next year You - only give well known
charities" That Is entirely satisfactory the mis-
cradle woman who Just now went out Of your pres
ence. She might live that for day at least. I've
seen few If you, very few 90 quietly into pesti-
lent nests, up tumbe-lown stair-cases, down into
damp cellars, and there throw little sunshine into
some dreary lives. will say that have this,
and have made note thereof But I've had no sur
felt Of the sight I've sometimes thought you lacking
in veneraton, but must take back the thought.
You do have a reverence for money You do not
speak aloud in presence Of it. You never enter
bank without in heart putting of your shoes think
most OF you would swoOn with if you found
yourself in n bank parlor. You talk with a friend
good humOredy, and even with mrtb, so
long as your conversation the ordinary topics
of the day. But the moment you touch upon money
each man Of you puts his pontical robes and bows
down. lis well. Cultivate this feeling, and then
you will .crape together wealth, and when you die
you will leave it all behind you and 90 somewhere
else.
My time is almost out hear the steps of my sue
cessOr. Shortly you will be clinking your glasses
dancing my grave, and hailing the newly born $
wish him joy of you And to morning you
will make good resolutions o. yes Ifthey be only
kept, all the traders will do cash business next )
year. Well, I'm tired of you And yet, there's
some good among you; some true hearts, some--''
just then the clock awOke to 4 of duty and
struck 1t was clumsy cxecutioner and took twelve
blows to stay the old year He died like who
mas too long put off making his will, and the legacy
If his good word was lost. 1t is pleasant think,
though, that he would have said something kind had
here been time.