The Oxford intelligencer., 1860-06-27
cIIIps IRON An OLD BLoCA.

/ lady, after reading attentively the title of a
moved called @The Last Man." exclaimed,
" Bless me, if such a thing were ever to hap
pen, what would become of the women p
We think more pertinent inquiry is, what
would become of the poor "manF =
Matrimonial history is narrative of many
cords; but the story of love may be told in
a few letters
There is man in Brooklyn, Long Island,
who lives so fast that he is now absolutely
older than his father.
Why is a sheet of postage stamps like
distant relations! Because they are but
slightly connected.
The gentleman whose lips pressed ladys'
"snowy brow" did not catch cold
An artificial florist lately described himself as
'head gardener to the ladies "
Never fear man who threatens you with an
injury; the silent enemy is the most dangerous.
Without confidence. friendship Is but mock
cry, and social intercourse sort of war in dis
guise
Kings never hear the voice of truth until they
are dethroncd, nor beauties until they have sbdi-
Gated their charms.
Love may exist without jealousy, although
this is rare but jealousy may exist without love,
and this is common.
1 Night brings ont stars, az sorrow shows US
truths; we never see the stars till We can see lit
/ tie or naught else-and thus il it is with truth.
4 man of sense may well dsdain artfce, just
as man ofknown wealth may venture to appear
in plain garb
So long as men are imprudent in their diet and
their business, doctors and lawyers will ride in
carriages.
The elcefll laugh Of happy childrenis the best
home music and the graceful figures Of child
hood ere the best statuary.
There is one thing which the most unobscr-
want person manages to sce-that which we do
not want him to see.
Sorrow comes soon enough without despon-
dcncy; it does man no good to carry around a
lightning-rod to attract trouble.
Much is said about the freshness ola first love-
hut there are many whose second love is better
worth having than the first love ofothcrs.
Women love to find in men difficult combina-
tion-a gcn,lcncss which win invariably yield,
with force which viii invariably protect
The number of sca-going vessels in the world is
about eighty five thousand, Of which two-thirds
belong to England aud the United States.
Books and leamngmay give a man power and
confidence; bat. unfortunately, they are often
very far from giving him either feeling or polite
ness.
Gentlemen who smoke allcgc that it makes
them calm and complaccnt--thcy tell US that the
more they fume the less they fret
4 doctor, detained in court as a witness, COM
planned to the iuds, that ifhc was kept from his
patients thoy might recover in his absence
Why do people talk about feeling doubts in
their own mind? Where else could they be cx- T.
pectcd to feel them?
\ poet says that the wind kisses the waves
That, we suppose, is the celebrated kiss for .
blow" about which we have heard 50 much.
"Bil. am fascinated with Miss Million.'-
"With her personal charms Yes, purse and .
all charms
Why is a nan who spoils his children like an .
other who builds castles in the air because he
indulgcs in fancy Infancy too much.
Why is the first chicken ofrl brood like the
foremost ola ship? Because it's little for'ard
ofthc main hatch.
81 hayca fresh cold said a gentleman to his
DO you have a fresh one
Why don't you have it erred"
"What was The use Of the eclipscg' asked
young lady.-"Oh, it gave the sun time for re-
Aection," replied wag.
In making an estimate Of a man or woman
don't take the dress into consideration. 'Tis the
value of the blade that You inquire into, not the
scabbard.
The ancient cooks carried their art to the most
perfection. They were able to serve
up whole pig, boiled on one side, and roasted
on the other.
That successful p!eader at the bar often
makes poor political orator, is no more to be
wondered at than that good microscope makes
a very bad telescope
A business man Of our acquaintance is 50
exact in all his doingS, that when
ever he pays visit, be always will insist upon
taking receipt
4 little boy asked The razor-strop man if he
could sharpen his appetizer The razors-trop
man at once stroppcd him 50 severely that the
rchn cut out
"why does father eail mother honeyg" asked
, boy Of his elder brother.-"Caut think, except ,
t. cause she wears large comb in her head"
II would be great advantage to some school /
nasteT, if they would steal two hours day from
heir pupils, and give their own minds the bene-
il of the robbery.
When a generous man is compelled te give
cflssl he generally gives il with worse grace
han the ungcncrous first, because it i against
his nature; and, secondly, because it is out Of
MS practice.
The most important lesson of life is to know