Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1860-06-07
THE MAN WHO LOST HIS PANTS.

THE MAN WHO LOST HIS PANTS
The following is one of the articles EN-.
braced in; the literary remains of Willis
Gaylord Clark. Its only necessary to pre-
mise that the writer is Philadelphia stu
dent, who, after q stolen fortnight among
the gayeties of Washington season, finds
himself, (through the remissness of a chum, )
at Baltimore, on his way home, without
cent in his pocket. He stops at fashion
able hotel, nevertheless, where, after day
or two, he finally, at the heel of a proud
dinner, omsnes sozus in his private depart
meut, Aanked with abundant champagne
and Burgundy, resolves to disclose all to
his landlord. Summoning servant, hesays
sAsk the landlord to step up to my room
and bring his BILL
The servant clattered down stairs, gig
Cling, and shortly after his master appeared.
The landlord entered with generous
smile, that made me hope for the best his
house afforded, andthat, just then, was credit
sHow much do I owe you p said l.
He handed me the bill with all the
grace of polite expectancy.
Let me see-seyenteen dollars. How
very reasonable! But, my dear sir, the
most disagreeable part is now to be disclos'
ed. I grieve to inform you that l am at
present out of money; but know by your
philanthropic looks that you will be satisfied
when I tell you that, if I had it, I would
give it to you with unqualified pleasure
But, you see my not having the change with
me is the reason why I don't do it; and
am sure you will let the matter stand, and
say no more about it. lam a stranger to
you, that's fact; but in the place where
l came from, all my acquaiutances know
me to be as easy as can be- $50.
The landlord turned all colors.
where do you live, anyhow
sIn Washin-I should say Philadelphia.
Hiseyes flashed with angry disappointment.
Il see how it is, mister; my opinion is
that you are blackleg. You don't know
where your home is. You begin with Wash
ington and then conclude with Philadel-
phia. You must pay your BILL
But I can't
Then I'll take your clothes-if I don't,
blow me tight
sV;llian!' said 7, rising bolt upright, .do
it if you dare Do it leave the rest to mel
There we're no more words. He arose de-
liberately, seized my only inexpressibles,
and walked down stairs:
Physicians say that no two excitements
can exist at the same time in the same sys-
tenn. External circumstances drove away, al
most Immediately, the confusion of the brain.
l arose and looked out of the window.
The snow was descending, and drummed
on the pane. What was I to do! An un-
happy weight, sans culottes, in strange
city, no money, and slightly inebriated. A
thought struck me. had a large full
cloak, which, with my other appointments,
save those he took, the laudlored had spared.
l dressed Immediately drew on my boots
over my fair white drawers not unlike small
clothes, put on my cravat, vest and coat !;
laid travelling cap jauntily over my fore
head, and fiuging my mantle gracefully
about me, made my way through the hall
into the street
Attracted by shining lamps in the portico
of new hotel, few squares from my lodg-
iugs, l entered, recorded my name on the
books, and bespoke bed. Everything was
fresh and neat, and every servant waS at
tentive All argued we'll. kept myself
cloaked, puffed cigar, and retired to ma
ture my plot.
Waiter, just brush my clothes we'll, my
fine fellow said I, in the morning, as he
entered the room. mind the pantaloons-
don't spill anything from the pockets there
is money in both
Il don't see no pantaloons.'
The devil you don't! Where are they p
Cant tell, Pm sure. I don't know, So
help me God
$50 down, sirrah, and tell your master to
come up here imme diately.'
The publican was with me in moment.
I had risen, and worked my face before
the glass into fendish look of passion.
Landlord! |! exclaimed I, with a brief
gesture, Il have been robbed in your house
robbed, sir, robbed! My pantaloons
and purse containing one hundred and
fifty dollars are gone! This is pretty ho
tel Is this the way you fulfill your injunc
tions of the scripture? I am a stranger
I find myself taken in with a vengeance
1 will expose you at once, if I am not re
compensed.'
pray keep your temper said the. agita
ted publican. Il have just opened thi
house, aud it is getting good ruu-woult
you ruin its reputation for an accident?
will send for tailor to measure you for th,
missing garment. Your money shall be re
funded. Do you not see that your tempe
| is useless I!
My dear sir, I thank you for your kind
ness, I did not mean to reproach you. I
those trowsers can be done to-day, I shall
be satisfied, for time is more precious thar
money. You may keep the others, if yo1
find them, and in exchange for the hundred
aud fifty dollars which you give me, thei
contents are yours
The next evening, with inexpressible
and one hundred and forty dollars in purse
called on my guardian, in Philadelphia
for sixty dollars. He gave me lecture
on collegiate desertion that I shall not soor
forget. I enclosed the money back to my
honorable landlord by the first post, settlec
my bill at old Crusty's, the first publican
and got nv trunk by mail.