Mountain Democrat. [volume] (Placerville, El Dorado Co., Cal.) 1854-1860, 1860-02-11
The Deaf Aunt and Deaf Wife.

my dear" said to my wife on the day
before my aunts arrival, "yOu know Aunt
Mary is coming Tomorrow, we'll forgot to
mention a rather annoying circumstance with
regard to her. She is very deaf, and although
she can hear my voice, to which she is accu~
toned in ordinary tones vet you will be oh
liged TO speak extremely loui in order 10 be
heard. Ii will be rather inconvcnient, but
know you will do everything in your power
TO make her STAY agreeable.
Mrs. 5. expressed her determination t.
make herself heard if possible.
then went to John r, who loves
-inkc as wclfas any person know IT. and told
him to be at the house at & p. NJ ON the fol-
lowing day. and felt comparatively happy.
went to the railroad depot with carriage
the next night, and when on my way home
with my aunt, ! said
MY dear aunt, there is one rather annoy.
ing inlirinity that Anna (my wifr) has, which
forgot to mention before She is YerY deaf.
and although she can hear my voice, to which
she is accustomed, in ordinary tones. vet Won
will be Obliged to speak extremely loud in Ur-
der to be heard. am very sorry for it.
Aunt Mary, in the goodness Of her heart,
protested that she rather liked speaking loud :.
and to do so would afford her great pleasure
The carriage drove upon the steps was
my wife-in the window was John r.
with face as utterly solemn as il he had bu.
ricd all his relatives that afternoon.
handed out my aunt-shc assembled the
steps.
| Il am delighted to see you,' shriekcd my
wife, and the policeman Oh the opposite side
walk started, and my aunt nearly fell down
the steps
kiss me, my dear" howlcd my aunt and
! tie hall lamp clattercd, and the windows shook
as with the fever and a.ue. | looked at the
window-Juhn had disappeared. Human ma
ture conld stand it no longer. ! pokvd my
- head into the carriage and went iato- strong
i commissions.
When l entered the paror my wife Wa
helping Aunt Mary to take OF her hat and
cape
Suddenly "Dl you have pleasant jour.
nev :" went off my wife like a pistol, and John
nearly jumped to his feet.
Rather dusty, was the rcSpons, in n war.
whoop and SO the conversation continued.
The ncighhor> for blocks around must have
heard it; when was in the third story Of the
building heard every word.
In the course Of the evening nv aunt took
occasion to say to me
" How loud your wife speaks, don't it hurt
her y
told her deaf persons talked loudly, and
that my wife being used 10 il. was not effected
10y the cxcrtion, and that Aunt Mary was get.
ting along very nicely with herr-
Presently me- wife said softly
Aft how very loud your aunt talks"
) Yes" said !. ali deaf persons do. You're
getting along with her finely; she hears every
word you say. And rather think She did.
Elated by their success al being understood
they went at il hammer and tong>, ill every.
thing clattercd again. and | WAS seriously
afraid Of a crowd collecting in front Of the
house.
But the end was near. My nunt, being OIL
an investigating turn of mind, was DESTROYS OF
finding whether the exertion If talking SC
loud was not injurious to my wifi.
doesn't talking so loud strain your lungs
said she, in an unearthly whoop, for her voice
was not as musical as when SHE was young.
ut is an exertion," shrirkcd my wife.
"Thcn, why do you do it, was the answer
ing scream.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS can't hear if
don't" squealcd my wife.
what" said my aunt, fairly rivaling {
railroad whistle, this time.
Ock0u 10 IuiHk II tltne 10 eNaCNatc tn(
premises, and discovering that John was gone
stepped into the parlor, and there he Law fla,
on his back, with his feet at right angles to hi,
body, rolling from side to side with his face
poked into his ribs, and with most agonizng
expression Of countenance, but not utterng a
sound. Immediately and invountarily AS
sumcd similar attitude, and think that
from the relative position OF our feet and heads
and our attempts to restrain our laughter, ap.
oplexy must have inevitably enSued, if hor.
rible groan which John gave vent to in his en-.
dcavor to suppress his visibility, had not be-
trayed our hiding-place.
In rushed my wife and my aunt, who, BY
this time, comprchcnded the joke and such a
Scoldng as then got, never got before, and
| hope never to get again
know not what the end would have been,
if John, in his cndcavors to appear respectful
and sympathetic, had not given vent to such
n groan and horse laugh, that all gravity was
upset, and we screamed in concert
know it was very wrong, and all that, to
! tell such falSehoodS, but think that Mrs Opie
/ herself would have laughed if she had seen
Aunt Mary's expression when she was inform.
ed that her "hearng was defective"
%OS$S-