The Shasta courier., 1860-02-04
Take n Drink.

Here is an item peculiarly applicable to this
portion Of Uncle Sans farm The American
drinks cocktails to drown his sorrows he swal-
lows them because he is joyful he pours them
down when disappointedin in business and gorges
upon them because he is prosperous. Friend
ship commences in julep and ends in a smash.
Jealously broods darkly over the absorption of
rnm-puneh, and meditates suicide, murder or
divorce over the last lingering drop of brandy
plain. Hope bubbles eternally in sherry cob
blers, and wit efiery yesces in champagne. With
ns-for are we not a nation of drinkers a bar
gain can be always settled over gin and sugar.
No president, no governor, official can be
nominated, much less elected, without the bar
feast of crackers and cheese, and the flow of
whisky. The welfare of the nation, the stability
OF the government cannot be maintained with
out morning eye-openers, noon day nips, and
midnight night-caps. The goddess of liber-
ty could not stand an hour without her smile.
The Great Bird can't fly without the benefit of
tod. We drink when we are dry, and get dry
in order to drink, when we are not dry. We
drink to the memory of the departed at funerals,
and drink consolation to the grief stricken
mourner- The mourner drinks the health of
those who do not mourn, and those who do not
mourn drink because-they must drink. Drink
is the fundamental law Of our social system n
part and parcel of the Declaration of Independ
ence, and the bulwarks of our nations great
ness. Take drink ? will soon usurp the place
of Il Pluribus Unum, and a bottle and glass
occupy the hands of Justice, in lieu of the
grocery scales and regulation sword. Schemes
ofgigantic import are concocted, war is declared
and peace is made by the power of statesman
like brandy and wire-pulling whisky. The horn
of plenty resolves into a harm of sred-eye.
We drink fast-Americans. We drink often,
and then drink araiu that ya hav
appetite for more drink. The inventive genius
of the publican is continually striving to pro-
duce new huidical combinations, with which
to aStonish and delight the nation of drinkers
WOULDN'T OwN Up-Joe Stetson was wild
rollicking fellow, who spent most of his time in
drinking and spreeing, while his wife, Polly
was left at home to do the chores. Upon GER
tain occasion Joe left home, to 5e back, as he
said, that night. Night came, but Joe did not
The next day passed, but, about sunset, Joe
came up in the worst condition imaginable-his
clothes dirty and torn, one eye in deep mourn
ing, and his face presenting more the appearance
ofa piece of raw beef than anything else. Polly
met him at the door, and, noticing his appear
ance. exclaimed:
Why, Joe, what in the world is the matter?"
"Polly," said Joe, % do you know long Jim
Andrews? Well him and me had a fight"
VINO whipped, Joe r. asked Polly.
"Polly. we had the hardest fight you ever did
see. hit him and he hit me, and then we
clinched. Polly, amt supper most ready? l
amt had nothing to eat since yesterday morn
ing"
"But tell me who whipped, joe" continued
Polly.
Polly" replied Joe, Z" I tell you, you never
did see sich a fight as me and him had When
he clinched me ierked loose from him, and
then gin him three four of the most sufici-
enlist licks you ever hearn of. Polly, amt sup
per ready2 I'm nearly starved"
Do tell me who whipped, will you ?" con-
tinued Polly.
Polly" said Joe, "you don't know nothin'
bout fghtin'. | tell you we fit like tigers; we
rolled and we rolled and we tumbled-first him
on top-and then the boys would pat me on the
shoulder and hollow, Oh, my Stetsonr' We
gouged, and bit, and tore up the dirt in Seth
Runnels grocery yard worse nor two wild bulls.
Polly, amt supper ready? I'm monstrous hun
gry."
b" Joe Stetsonw said Polly, in tone bristling
with anger, will you tell me who whipped? ?"
"Poly" said Joe, drawing a long sigh, u
hollered ~