The Council Bluffs nonpareil. [volume] (Council Bluffs [Iowa]) 1857-1867, 1860-09-08
~osDExCK OF mn SoSPAREIL
Grxxroop. sent. 5th. 1850.

GLExwooD, Sept. 5th, 1860.
DEAa EeIrea :-Tes are old esssxA d
ksev that he gisls lavs = god Alright =
the ysunG nsa 70 80 . . 6 besd~, !" as1,
We dare cay yos have ssen ssossh Of vo-
nankisd to know tAas vhes they g iata
any such thing thsss i % hs.drsn. half
ssd-half work shout il. A woman haa
either ehole sosl or nose as al, differing
in tsfo in this respect With the bristly sex.
Wen, enough Of this prelude. We giris
msde up our minds that g bender .
wouldn't do Us any harm. So Ne got the
consent of our fathers and nothers, and
uncles and aunts, and inmediately COM
nenced packing our truaks- 10 the bottom
ne put some crinoline; then some more Grin
oline: then little more cripolise pshav.
what do you know shout such things.
We shaD's tell you anything more about il.
We filled up the trunks With all the ssfxens''
needed on such occasions-but, mind you,
Mr.. Editor, no villainous cigars formed .
part Of cur equipment. No wicksr-cased
"srave!ing companion was slowed slyly
away 10 one corner! No sir, Our trunk.
we're free from all such s. t.aps,- and al
ways viii be. al.
Heigh-ho, bound to Sidney, and gets to
"turn out" at O'Clock 10 the morning to
take the stage; too bad to break up the
delicious morning nap, let the glorious
dreams that were floating through our brain.
all vanish into empty air too bad, but
here's the coach, and 'sa!l aboard,o we roll
away towards Glenwood, while the chariot
Of Phoebus Is rolling up towards sanrise.
Five wide-awake, frolicksome girls, all in
one coach, and only one poor solitary wretch
Of the other persuasion. 0, didn't We pity
him? Wefaney he fel. like cat in strange
garnet. We thought be looked so, and we
did pity him. Served him right, though, he
might have known better than to ge, into
coach, owned in fee simple, by five school
girls "ies loose" Well, he's just like the
rest Of mankind, always eternaly getting
into some scrape, and never learning any
thing, either. Well bet Eve bran new
"shakers' against as many "stoye-pipes, !"
that the stupid fellow will just go and do
the very same thing over again. Served
him right, if be did have to ride twenty
miles without getting cigar in his mouth
twenty miles over the bottom and through
the foggy miasms that were rolling into the
open windows, and galloping through his
veins with fever tread, and no chance to
take single drink, little timely sod corn
to assist nature in repelIiug these noxlous
exhalations Served him right if the morn
ing air did poison him-he ought to have
known enough to steam up before he got in,
and eat some "whiskey- killers" to make his
breath sweet! But, Mr.. Editor, don't you
think we girls are favored mortals. We
can get up before daylight, inhale the air Of
early dawn, stand the jotings of the coach
and get into Glenwood as bright as new
dollars, without touching tobacco in any
form, or taking single drop of anything
ardent. We account for it from the fact
that woman's constitution is stronger than
a mans, and she can get along most any
way, while he, poor creature, must be ten
Derby cared for, or he makes his will at
once.
Pardon US, Mr.. Editor, for this DEPRESSION.
We didn't intend to read our gentlemen
friends lecture on the laws Of suction, but
it come in so natural, that we just put it
down. If We didn't have a"good time -
coming from home to Glenwood, we don't
know what the term means. We felt as
though We didn't care a fig whether Curtis
or Cole gets elected-Lincoln or Douglas
or single man on any Of the tickets. We
knew ve were elected to have one Of the
best visits in Western Iowa, or any where
else, and We just didn't care if politicians
and all the rest Of mankind went to universal
smash, so long as our coach didn't upset.
And here we are, stopping for breakfast.
The landlord thought he was taken, when
he saw fire live girls getting out of the coach
at once. You ought to have seen him scud
for the kitchen to tell the cook to get up
something nice. While We were waiting for
the breakfast to get done, We thought we
might as well drop you line or two for the
Nonporeit, just to let our friends know that
we are most half way to Sidney, and amt
tired bit. We don't know whether our
gentleman passenger is going any further
or not. lie is speechless, and looks fright
ened, from which evidences, we have come
to the conclusion that he is either bachelor
or hsnpecked-we can't tell which; but,
ding ding!! dong!!! goes the breakfast
bell-.hcre is general stampede for the
table. and as We have appetites ike mer-
maids, We must hurry along and take our
| chances. You shall hear from US again,
by and by.
| FIVE BLUFF GIRLS.
MARRIED