Cleveland morning leader. [volume] (Cleveland [Ohio]) 1854-1865, 1860-07-17

= OOuy 70 the place Of interment in the ne
ID cemetery.
Y DOM PIATT ON his TRAvELs.-Donn Pis
t'Fuz'') Of the Mac-a-cheek Press, is on
tour to the Eastern cities and cOrrespondiu
e for his paper. When last heard from. /
: had Just escaped from the perils of th
t "middle passage" between Baltimore an
t New York, and gives vent to hearty de
nunciation Of the route. He gives Ne,
Jersey fits, and offers some suggestions, 8
follows:
: Misery eliminates to an agony on reach
ing Philadelphia, and you are called upoI
, 70 place yourself under the tender care O
the New Jersey men. This is, without ex
cePtlon, the meanest State in the Union. I
hangs doubtful between the Republican anC
Democratic parties, as it once hung doubtful
between Wing and Tory during the Revolu.
uonary Mar-waltiDg now, as then, to know
when SIDE would have the more money and
prove victorious. It has two sources of in
come, from which its government is SUM-
ported--a railway and penitentiarv. Itiis
pity the two are not consolidated and the
raiIWay directors put in the States prison
or the convicts, for more painful punish
ment, run up and down the railway. I am
satisfied the devil would get some useful
hints for the further improvement of the
internal regions, by a nights ride from Phil
adelphia.
His "hints for greenhorns" are worth past
ing in ones hat:
While crossing at Havre de Grase abstsin
from refreshments, unless you have a taste
for eoekroaehes and pastry favored with the
! tincture of old moccasin:
Make no efforts at conversation. A detect.
i've will imme ediately fix his stupid ewes upon
you and give great trouble. while the 0aDfie-
! man addressed H';'s lncontinently button nm
ms ms 61 pockets. e the conoo::-SIiI1sss
Knoek down hack-driver somewhere on
the route-but certainly at New York-so
that if YOU are killed before getting home
YOU NAV have some show for heaven.
Buy three cherries frem a boy IN New Jer-
sew. This will save his fathers family from
/ stsrvation. Do not eat them, however, un-
less you are curious on the subject OF power
complaints. .-zBG
I Those who have heard Dom, IS we have,
keep a room full of company exploding with
successive roars of laughter at his stories and
adventures, until daylight shOne in through
the windows, and that, too, after they had
danced from Z o'clock until midnight, and
had lighted their lamps for bed, will easily
imagine him ready for joke at any time
and he has one. A few years ago he wa
Secretary of Legation at Paris, and he fall
in with an old acquaintance. The train rum
off the track, and is delayed, landing then
at Philadelphia at midnight to stay til
morning. Hear him: -
I was sitting on my trunk Waltng LOT IN
rest Of my baggage and hack, when L wa
, suddenly assaulted by some sharp-polnte'
instrument in the back-and starting up,
| saw q stout, middle-aged lady, with piercinl
7 | black ewes, raven hair, and not Unlocking
/. | although at that moment she looked quit
ILL mean angry-or rather excited. sh
i Aourished a sun-shade of large dimensions
> so large, indeed, that it might serve as a
r umbrella, or as now, an insuument OF al
i tack.
: "My good fellow" exclaimed corPuiiene
. in petticoats to me, "wlu you Just l9Iil
d round bit and get my things togetner
= am in a great hurry; must get to Ne
Is York tonight; am invited oy Mrs. beI
nett to her Japan matinee, and must g
st through Philadelphia to meet the tram
10 There, now, Jump about, that's a good te
Ia low. You shall be amply rewarded.
This was uttered in one breath, so sharl
y lv and rapidly, indeed had no time TO
r Indignant. But to have your much respec
ed CORRESPONDENT mistaken for porter W
al 90 very ridiculous could not get angry,
spirit Of mischief seized me. IkneW the
L dv-we had met before So went IN
"Jest YOU watch this gents trunk, anDtyy
IN | I exclaimed, "and I'll get your plunaer
no . gether in a minute"
Il l. 7 I 4
es It in good approved style. / seized the hu
or. trunk at once, and with jerk and hI
ID. sent it tumbling to the floor. Every et'
ofthis sort was rewarded with fresh scres
and sundrY pokes from the sun-shade.
nd had the baggage together and asked WI
lr- next. rLiLy 4.--.' ,-.
ed 0Get a hack; mind, don't agree to pay
=, cent more than one dollar--I know this pla
And he must drive very rapidly; M
get over Philadelphia in time for the TRAN
"Plenty of time, madam" remarked
: baggage-master "the next train leaves
ion CHOW dare you tell me the train leaves
h o'clock7"
vor "Cause it's true"
'ef cts mot true you know that it is
ng true. What's the use of my going on tn
Sc o'clock train had better 60 back to wa
ie ington. I am invited to Mrs. Bennetts n
=, inee You know you are an imposition.
I've "Thank you, mam-only spoke on y
Is own account. Eff you don't believe
ing there's Director of the Company. de
red tell you"
Away few my fair employer, over
'uI' trunks and through the passengers.
tbs oyerhauled the Director, and in few I
low. ments returned, looking as if Mrs. Benne
~, matinee had been quite taken out Of her.
ny was even so-no train left before o'cloel
isk- m. Nething could be done but 60 to
dol and dream Of the Bennett matinee, after
ing the amateur porter. This hinted.
SHow much do you want 2, ST.
nail "Weu, it's worth all Of dollar" '. .
orks q A dollar Why, this is monstrouH
Inv dollar. There, there's quarter and th
~ more than it's worth, considering my dis
'N0 pointment."
nor This was shabby-and from her, too
for knew after many years my eyes had at
,,-o- remained good enough for recognition
wv mad had the honor Of presenting her to
Fmneror and assuring his Imperial lnsigl
mon cance that she was all right-and here
Zou- was iobbinR me of with twenty-five e
-. did wrong--I regret it but wiped
'cia- perspiration' from my forehead, pocketed
your Quarter, and with my trunk drove ava
will the Continental Hotel.
ns? ~&
vi IL ~ aaasa