The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1860-10-25
THE PRESIDENTIAL RACE.
"BY SAM BILLINGS"

duz. You all member that dreem
had bout jim being elected %
"Jim Who. Sami'
"Jim Buchanan, of course. Who else
Why | dremt saw hi an Film ore. an
Fremont, all playin' seven. up, an wher
Jim an Fillmore was both six an six
what duz jim do but turn up Jack an
git out. The very next thing we heerd
after that wuz that jim was lected.
rote to jim bout it, but be forgot to IN
swer my letter. tell you, boys, it's no
use tawking. knows what's what, an
ef you only kuowd what l drempt las,
mite, you know more than you knows
now"
Take drink, Sam, and tell us all a.
bout it,"
Don't keer eff | do. Well, 20 see arter
l left you, boys, last mite; wus jest as So
Der as ever wus. You all knows that.
cause | never drinks eept on speshul 90.
cashuns. | did stumble leetle-jest
leetle-but that wuz cause wuz thinking
SO hard on what Bill thar had sed about
US Citing Cuber eff old Breck wuz lected
an bow nice it would be to put such fel.
lers as US down thar to take keer of the
Dons and Senoriters. 1t wus too much
trubble to shuck my coat or pull of nv
tutes, so | laid down Jest as / wuz. Let
Us take drink.
Well, as soon as Morfus had rapt me
in sleep | begun to dream. thor. a
CRATE big feller. with a cooked hat an
sword by his side techt me on the shoul.
der an axed me | wouldn't 90 to the race
| tole him | wood go enywbar fur fun, an
axed bin to pitch ahed. AS soon as We
got to the dore thar stood wun uf the e
nest CARRIES you ever set your izs on.-
The Squire's don't hold lite to it. NY
mysteruS conductur axed me to get in
and then followed hsself. After we wuz
in | didn't say nuthln, an he didn't ne.
ther, an so We both wuz silent The car
rije went nifty fast, an in about an hour
an half We stopt. | forgot to menshun
that thar was black bottle tween the
cuShuns. an that both Of US tuck sevral
drinks, ef not more. Boys, let's take
wuu now.
We got out uf the carrie ON to the
groun, an looked round u.s. In frunt,
but little to the rite. wuz a CRATE big
white house, and the rode from the gate
was SO Ext that you could come to the
door from any side you pleased. All the
way round wus about quarter of mile
| then turned round to look at the people
who vas there. They wuz about twenty
in all. Rite in front was jim.
mister Buchauan,' says the n an who
brought nle, "allow me to -"
"Pshaw !" seq |; Il knows him we'll e.
nuf; I'm the man what done so much for
him an Breck to Punkintown. How do
20 do. ole felerl How bev you been
How's all sn' what's the news !"
Pm fust rate, thank you" "ses he, smi
lin and bowin nifty PerlIte. "How's all
to PuDkiDtown I"
lob, we're all so 30, sez I; "but what's
to pay here T.
Why, we're are going to bev the race"
ses Jiu, speaking low to me, and lookin
NIFTY solem, zap | sent fur you to stan an
judge who beats. Cum along, now, and
let me iDtcrduce you to the folks"
"Air those FIVE fellers in the rode the
candid ates y ses |.
Yes" ses he, "snd them other men
oVt thar is their frens aud bakkers. But
here We air. Gentilnen. allow me to in
troduce my particler friend, Mister Bill
liDgs-Mster Houston, Mister Billing;
Mister Bell, Mister Billings; Mister Lin
coin. Mster Billings; Mi-ter Douglas,
Mister Billings; Mister Breckenridge, Mr..
Billings; Mister Billings, gentlemen, will
take bis stan here and juje who beats the
race. Excuse me for a mint, as mus
see if the track is cleer."
at seems to me, I've met you sumwhar
before, Mi>tcr Billings, ses Mr.. Bell, IAN
yourn is face what can't be asy forgot. I"
II don't recolec,' ses |; for | seed
what he was after.
alt mus be so," ses be, "for I've been
ererywhar thro this glorious Uniop.-
This glorious Union, Mister Billings, % us
be preserved. and the eagle mus bear a.
loft on nsguanimous pInyuns the banner
uf the stars, an screen defiance at the vi
olaters uf the resplendedt Constitution"
"Jes SO, ses |.
"III tell you what. Mister Billings"
ses Douglas, wsvin bis arm, "tbis here
scene, with all these people lookin on, an
you to pass jour free jugment bout this
race. reminded me powerfully of Poplar
Suvrinty. That air The doctrine, sir -
All of Us free an independents. Ef want
to do anythiDg-ef / wants to cut my
tbrote-who's to prevent me I"
Nobody, of course" see |.
"This race is to be wun by running"
ses Houston; IL don't like runnin', and
never did. spesbully for the Presidency.
but the people would make me. an | had
to. But tell you, Mister Billings, you
orter SEQ me in fte. kinder guess |
can kill an etc as many Mexikins as the
mex man."
Shouldn't be surprised" +" sec |.
"I'd seorn to try an influence you.
l. rSwEn