The Council Bluffs nonpareil. [volume] (Council Bluffs [Iowa]) 1857-1867, 1860-01-14

e. Whas 10 the Differences between
truih and egyss ssTrash crushed TO earth
viii rsss again." bas eggs Won't
ga younx Tssnss.ss girl rscestly .as.
ried stranger, alleging that she would have
plenty Of time 20 become acquainted with
Lia Afterwards.
TWsen yea call . nan scoundrs!,
and B. Knocks Toa Down for aakisg fsss
with bis MANS, !. il sign :ha: be thinks be
3ass nss deserve ID. appsIla;lon.
FsrThe Ere. svafEow-;ailsd eoss that old
scarty got, 80 tispIeassd q. shas ne
,sarsaei the tails ard cssd = Tor Doos
JACK.
e~An acuussnsance ssJs that ssses be
ds.shsrgsd ais handsome dsesor and smploy-
ei plain one, bic wife and daughters aavn':
70. s.ek 20 o.isn as .heT ID before.
r-A young nsTsI os5ses Of Tho name CT
Msors, hsrEag presented gold anchor 10
bis a1aased sfids, vss remarked ;aas she
was moor -.
gE- Tis yeaEg lady uao saw baby
wisa9a. kissing il, has acknowledged that
Der frieu4's 5ognes vas Laa1s5msr than
hse owa.
f7~.. Toua. ara goa woke ?" "Yss,'.
sail Tom, with sigh, "aai 30 broke that
II steamboats, we're selling al eens spiscs,
ieSp.da'; bur plaSk-"
T.Mr. p. did yoa say Or did yau not say
What said you said because G. said you
never did ssy whas saii you said. Now,
IL yoa did ssy MAI you did not Say Sha.
said you said then xhas did yousayf
rTNbsn yoa see q nan on moonIgh.
night trying 10 eonsinse hi1 shadow that il
httnp.vpef % follow \ gentleman, you may
b. sure that ]. IL high time for him 10 join a
,enpsranss society.
r~"I don', deaouncs yoa," ,aid .sasJ
yoang fellow 80 an editor; ssbas only your
ssbos.inats; I merely made fling q. your
staff" '>"weIl .ir," replied the editor,
saisiug the ac.isn 30 sss word, ''then my
stat shaiI have sing =. you."
TA clergyman, while engaged IN cate
chtsiag . number on hoys in . class, asked
one Of them the definition Of masrimony.-
The reply was, - place Of punishment.
where sons felix's suFs. for time before
they can 70 10 beaysn." "Good boy"
said the clergyman, take your ssas."
Ies@~&-. -
rT~if men could find the tabled fountain
thss IN said 20 restore youth, and health,
and beauty, with what sagerne.s they would
rash TO drink il waters Ye; with scarce
la~ sags1nss. DO thsy now rush to drink oi
wsss.s that bring upon them premature
old ags, and disease, and loashsoma usli-
ness.
SMART
A little daughter Of a proprietor Of q
coal Minis ia Pennsylvania was inqusitve
~ 10 ths DA.are Of hell, upon which her
father rspsgsanssd ii to be sIsrgo gulf Of
Ere Of moss prodgious extent Pa,
couldn't you s.. tbs Devil to buy coal Of
yoa3" -......
-EEf8#
isr,-t'srny aud I'asfiok, the mason, were
looking at u veil made wall, when the latter,
admtrlsg the workmanship, calculated,
"Faish, an that wall wasn't laid in this
country" allow could that be 30 was the
ia9-iiry. al mean" he rsioinsi, ".hs. the
maa who bail, aud laid that same wall WAS
nsgsr 10 tlgs esamfy, for zach work Is only
done in tho bati c3untry." -
sD-KasO l.. t., writing on the subject Of
Kissing, says; ~ am vain enough 10 pride
mysalf GA being girl Of ssaec, and dear
iy Inva aud appreciates good kissing; !
should a, iitf have nice, -wss. kiss rs a
cashmere. II is.o me one Of lifc's sweetest
snjoyu sats some OF my happest moments
have been spent in kissing. 4 rich, hearty
Kiss, from plump, rosy mustaehel OF
uataasmaheas-lip,, vii! last ono dag.
fY""Nhat were the mob saving ~
asked au attorney OK witness, N riot
csss. well, they were singin' bout n
song" What was the song what wsro
they Saving ~ "h nigh az can keep
trasS, they vas taiin' Misses Long Cher
frs. name was Laay1 to take her time
"Yoa can 60 .....,... 30.
tgr-A frirn' q bars was taken i'll with
ssms casauaau4 eruption. which was at frat
thought 10 be tho small pox, but afterwards
decided 10 10 the vartolaid. Whersupon he
remarked ''If sha. a, that rrry. allowed,
b. should prsfnr sha aa-slleged.n Iis 70.
covered from his sickness 10 three days, md
fran sha joke IN ak morths--a striking in
stances 81 The ssphai.y Of life.
f-A vouth WAS lately leaving hi. aunt.
house after a visit, whaa finding il began IA
rain. b. caught ap an umbrella that va.
snuEly Placed 10 a corner, and was proceed
Ing 10 opea IL, when the lady, for the FRA
time observed biz movements, sprsng to,
warts hsm, sxelsIm.ng: "N1, DO, that yol
hsvsr shalt I've hal Tia. umbrella twent,
,arss years, ani il has never been wet yet
sai aa s8rs ii shanl hs act now -
r.-F4.- #. a=a.a ---a-
FTA good lads, who had two children
.asa sssh she measles, wrote 20 friend 10,
shs best remedy, Tho friend had just re-
esivsa a meta frem another lady inqairin.
abe was 80 make pickles. In The confusion
thu !A,ly sAa iug aarei ahoa. the pickles
rasetrsl 'h, remedy for tho measles
aud the anxious mother Of the sick children
real wish hasras the foliosing; "Seall
thsWs targa or t2gs times IN veEy h9t vinegar
and spfnuAIs thrm we'll with salt: in Few
days thay slll b cared
=es=-s-4=. ------
NO stu IN NY warm"
\ gaasr excuse was made 4 few day. ago
By an OLD la,ir. The good woman was sab.
rsrnssi g. ppeae A. n witasss on rather a
stsliesss hcSss. shs DID nss rom-. sud 4
bench warrant WAS issued for her appear.
anee. on waioh she WAS brought into court.
The presiding judge thought il his dutv to
raprimsni her. "Madsm, whY were you
not hers hstorpP" 81 caul3a't catnr, sir -
"Wsre You nos .abprnsgd. madam 80
eyes. sir. hus ~ss sies." "WAas WIS tho
raa:,s. ussisn - 81 hal an awsaI boil,
cir" After ran.s@A" pom your honor.
msiam." "Sa, sir. on NV arm"