The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1860-07-24


hotels Ia It's Immediate vicinity were, that the
farm houses were filled with visitors One OF
the worthy farmers residing there was espe-
cialIy worried almost 10 death by 6ersders-
They found fault with his table-this thing
WAS bad and that wasn't fit 10 eat!
Darn it, said old Isaac, one day, "What a
fuss you are making L can eat any thing
"Can YOU eat crow J" said one OF his young
boarders.
ayes, l kin eat crow"
"Bsl Won hat" said his guest
The bet was made, a crow caught, ana NICE
ly roas ted bat, before serving up, iney con-
triyed TO season il with good dose OF Scotch
snuff.
Isaac sal down to the crow. He took good
bite, and began TO chew away.
40 be sure / kin eat crow Another bite,
and an awful face! "Yes i kin eat-croW-
symptoms of nausea,)-l kin-eat-crow; but
In be darned II banker arter it,"
Poor Isaac arose from the crow feast IN
somewhat of a hurry and bolted towards the
back Of the house!
AN ANEcDoTE ABOUT PRAYKRs.-We have
heard some prayers which were designed to Ell
feet the heart rather than TO reach Heaven
The flowing charac tic anecdote OF John
Randolph Is keen rebuke OF the practice:
In one of his spells of repen lance and sick
ness, he was visited by minister, who, AT ms
request, prayed for him. The minister began
on this vie: Lord, our friend IS SICK. lhou
knowest how generous he was 10 the poor ana
what eminent services he has rendered TO his
country and how he is among the honored ana
great men OF The eartn'- stop, stOp. Sdiu
the im pa tient Randolph, mo more OF sucn stun,
else the Lord will damn us BOTH"
An Irishman having arrived fron' Dublin I
the house of 4 res pee liable merchant IN the 90
rough, and having left Ireland three weeks be-
fore brought win him a basket of eggs and
his friend asked him why he took the trouble
TO bring eggs from Ireland TO England BE
cause" said he, II am so fond OF them new Laid,
and know these TO be So"
There is lawyer so excessively honest that
he puts all his fiower-pots out over night, SO
determined is he that every thing shall have as
deB.
A gentleman was threatening to beat dog
that parked in tolerably. Nv hy" exclaimed a n
lrishman, "would you beat that poor dumb
animal for spakin outP'
The following notice appeared on the west
end of country OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES body
sticking bills gainst this church, Will be prose-
cuted according TO law, or any other nuisance"
OLD MAIDs-A class Of sensible women, who
refuse to accept a b husband until they find some
one they can love and esteem-Whlch OF
course, they rarely do.
A young lady was asked how could she pos
sibly afford, in these awful hard times, 10 take
music lessons. 10, confine ny self TO the low
notes "
An old bachelor says that during leap year
the ladies jump at every offer OF marriage
hence the term.
Amodern tourist calls the Niagara river "the
pride of rivers" That pride has certainly
tremendous fall.
The young woman who was "driven to dis
traction ng w fears that she Will have TO Walk
back.
There is a lady in New York so ignorant of
all domestic work that she cannot even knit
her brow.
When man who has paid bill is asked to
take a drink, is it designed TO show that the
creditors claim has been liquiCatedl
The most direct method of determining
horse power-s;and near and tickle his hind
legs with a briar.
The course of true love, of which the poets
tell us, it is now discovered, has long since
dried up.
Seeing cellar nearly finished, a waggish fell
low remarked that it was an excellent founda-
ton for story.
The poor birds are not a very bold race, and
yet great many of them die game.
Every husband thinks he can tame shrew,
except the poor fellow that has her.