Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1860-10-16

THE PREsIDENTIAL RACE.
sY " SAM BILLINGS.

BIZ " SAM BILLINGS" s.
Well boys duz you bleeve in dreeins7
dus. You all member that dreem had bout
Jim being elected .a a...l.' r.. o.. g e
"Jim who, SAM"
jim Buchanan, Of course Who else! Why
/ dremt saw him an Fillmore an Fremont
all playin seven-up, an when Jim an Fill
more was both six an six what duz Jim do Dut
turn up Jack, an git out. The very next thing
We heerd ater that wuz thst Jim wuz lected.
L rote 10 jim bout it, but he forgot to anser
. my letter. 1 tell you, boys, it's no use tawk-
ing. / knows whats what, an ef you only
knowed what dremt last mite, you'd know
more than you knows now .es
Take drink, Sam, and tell Us all about
Don't keer eff do Wen, you see ater left
you, boys, last mite, 1 wuz Jest as sober as
ever wuz. You al knows that, cause / never
drinks cept on speshul occashuns. did STUN
BILE lsetle-jest leetle-but that wus cause
/ wuz thinking so hard Oh what Bill thar
had sed bout US gittin Cuber eff old Breck wuz
lected, aR how nice Ii would be to put such fell
Isrs us down thar to take keer Of the Dons
and Senoriters. Ii wuz too much trubbled to
shuck my coat or pull off my butes, so laid
down Jest as wuz. Lets take drink
Well, as soon as Morfas had rapt me in sleep
begun to dream. thort a CRATE big Teller.
with cooked hat an q sword by his side techt
me on the shoulder an axed me L wouldn't 20
to the race. / tole him 1 wood go enywhar fur
fun, an sxed him to pitch ahed. As soon
We got to the dore thar stood wun uf the finest
CARRIES you ever set your ize on. The Squire's
don't hold lite to it. My mysterus conductor
sxed me 10 get in an then followed hisself
Alter We wuz in / didn't say nuthin, an he
didn't neither, an SO We both wuE silent. The
CARRIE went nifty fast, an in about an hour an
a hat We stopt. forgot to menshun that thar
wuZ a black bottle tween the cushuns, an that
both uf US tuck sevral drinks, eff not more.
Boys, let's take wun now.
We got out uf the carrie on to the groun an
looked round as. In frunt, but a little to the
rite, wuz 3 CRATE big white house, and the
rode frum the gate wuz 80 fxt that You Good
cum to the door from ary side you pleased.
All the way round wuz about a quarter uf
mile. I then turned round to look at the peo-
pie who wuz thae. They wuE about twenty in
all. Rite in front wuz Jim.
F" Mister Buchanan" says the man who
brought me, "sllow me to"
"Pshaw" ses {" I knows him well enuf
I'm the man what done so much fur him an
fellerf How hev you been? How's all? an
what's the news?"
I'm fust rate, thank you," ses he, smilin
an bowin nifty psrlite. HOw's all to Pun
kintownl" Flt r.#f ~
"0h, we're all $3.50, f" ses I; .sbut what's to
pay here ?'' .-.-..t +,
"Why we're going to hsv the race" ses
Jim, speekin low to me, an lookin nifty solem,
ian sent fur you to stan an julie who beats.
Cum along now, an let me interduce you to
the foiks.n
"Air those Ave fsllers in the rode the candi-
dates ?'' ses /.
Yes" ses he, Gan them other men out thar
is their frens and bakksrs. But here we air.
Gentilmen, allow me to introduce my psrticler
friend, Mister Billings-Mister Houston, Mis-
ter Billings; Mister Bell Mister Billings
Mister Lincoln, Mister Billings: Mister Doug
Lac l.
ter Billings Mister Billings gentlemen, will
take his stan here and juje who beats the race.
Excuse me fur mint, as mus see If the track
is cleer."
- 1t seems to me, I've met you sumwhar be-
fore, Mister Billings" ses Mister Bell, san
yourn is face what can't be easy forgot"
- / don't reeollee," sss I; for seed what he
was ater.
- 1t mus be so," ses he, s'fur I've bin every
whsr thrO this glorious Union. This glorious
Union, Mister Billings, mus be preserved, an
the eagle mus bear sloft on magnanimous PIN
yuus the banner uf the stars, an skreem def
ence at the violsters uf the resplsndent Con-
stitution.'' -
"Jes so,' ses I.
s'I'll tell you what, Mister Billings" ses
Douglas, wsyin his arm, "this here scene, with
all these people lOokin on, an you to pass your
free jugment bout this race, reminds me pow
erfully Of Poplar Suvrinty That air TIE doc
trine, sir. All of US is free an indipindint. Eff
i wants to do auything-ef I wants to cut my
th<ote-whos to prevent me?"
Nobody, of course" ses L.
"This race is to be wun by runnin," ses
Houston; 81 don't like runnin, and never did,
speshully for the Presidency; but the people
would make me, an l had TO. But tell you,
Mister Billings, you orter see me in n fte.
kinder guess can kill an etc a. many Mexi-
kins a. the mex man."
" "ShOuldn't be surprised" ses I.
"a 70 frv fpAu ..s.-
Billings" ses ole Abe, % though there is sum
as / knows as does it. But I would merely
menshun, as a piece Of muse, which, perhaps
you haven't heern Of, that think the Gineral
Government ought to make few Internal i'm
proysments nifty close to Punkintows."
" You don't say soi" ses I.
9" As fur me, !" ses ole Breck, call want Is o
fare trac and no fayersn
ssAli rite, ole hoss, sss l. Sand now, gen.
tllmin, you must take your places an git
ready"
They then turned in to pitchin up half dol.
Ter till they all got their places Abe was on
the inside trsc; Breck mex; Douglas mex, Bell
mex an ole Sam on the ouside.
Well, hey all got in a line, and give the
word, and they started. Ole Sam hadn't got
twenty steps before he s.umpt his foot, an kerr
slap ne went to the groun. At last they got
about half way round, an Douglas begun to
fall behind. Thinks /, ole hose, your legs is
teo short Bell, too, was a BLOWN mighty hard
an seed the race was between Breck and ole
Abe. They jes cum tearin down that rode,
tell you. When they was within about ffty
yards of the startin place, them two was Jest
brest an brest. Bell was several yards behind,
and Stephen in bis wake. As for Houston he
Jest laid uhsr be fell. Well, boys on they cum
{ like race hosses, an all the lockers on cussin
an swearin ef they was mad. Breck's bot
tom was surprisin; but ole Abe's long legs was
also csrryin him along nifty fast, tell you
They had got within about three feet of the
iine, an wuI trernblin all over, wus 30 ank
shus, when all at wuns, both give a lunge for
ard, az"
(Which wun, Sam, which wun?''
"I'll tell you, ater the FIRST Tuesday in No
vember. Boys, let's take drink. ."-Charies
ron C0HyisT