Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1860-05-24
Far the Yorkvllle Enquirer.
THE MYSTERIOUS PACKAGE.
"Who would believe what strange bugbears
Mankind creates itself, of fears"

"Who would believe what strange bugbears
Mankind creates itself, of fears"
ga package for you, sir. "For me
All, thank you" I took it carefully home
it was for me, prima facie, for it bore my
name. Now, there are some other persons
who have my name exactly, to a T, or rather
to an NJ, as witness telegram I once re-
ceived: "S-- and the baby are as well a.
could be expected" which was very Ger
tainly not meant for this individual. How
ever, this package bore my name, Pos
Office, Parish and all and as there is nc
one in my immediate vicinity having the
same distinguished appelation, Igrabbed it
Thinks to myself, "this is strange; who
has any business to be sending me bundles
Who cares enough for me to be sending me
packases?" When I thought, "may be it's
an inferna! machine! Perhaps some very
susceptible female, jealous of my devotion
to Ameliar Jane, has determined to blow me
up. Ooph! Maybe, some young poet-ras
cal, envious of my rapidly increasing fame
(beipg far superior to Milton, Pope, Byron,
Tennyson, or any of those other fellows in
Ameliar's opinion) has determined to ex.
tinguish the light Of my genius. Ow! Oh
it may have come from Douglas, who fear.
ing lest the Convention Immediately
Would swarm on me
AS the King Bee
For their Nominee, [ORIa1NAL.
has determined to be before them in caus.
ing my elevation Haw!" Well, appoint
ed myselfa committee of one (to which the
Chairman was added on Ways and Means
of opening the mysterious bundle. Com
mittee after a long and warm conference
reported, .sthrow it out of the window and
let it bust open" Minority Report, "don't
let's" Report recommitted. Committee
took swig Of sassafras tea, smoked pipe
and reported: "Get a razor, tie it to a
long stick, get under the bed, and then
cut the string" Report unanimously adopt
ed. Behold me then : my only razor, some
times used for shaving, but oftener for cut
ting lead pencils, tied to the end of long
stick with red tape, to keep the law on my
side; myself under the bed cautiously peer
ing out the awful bundle on chair. Now
Ruby, do or die Ruby prefers doing, so he
applies the blade to the string. Just then
a saucer is smashed down stairs. Ruby
jumps, bangs his head, sees stars, and i'm
agining himself blown up-waits to light.
Thinking he must have gone awfully high,
as he is terrible long time falling, he
opens his eyes, shakes his head, finds it all
right, looks cut, every thing quiet, finds
himself mistaken, tries again. This time
he cuts the string; no noise, no smoke, no
fire, no wild varmint; takes courage, punch.
es open the paper, and, to his great relief
and delight, beholds beautiful book.
Not at all frightened now, for 1 am not
easily scared by books, except they be meta.
physical or polemical or legal in their ma
ture, (and like these sometimes for the
sake of variety.) I approached and found a
beautiful edition of Hudibras, with gilt
edges and elegantly bound in morocco.
antique, at that. Iopened it and found the
paper heavy, white; rich, if may so term
it. l enjoyed the very touch of the leaves
as I turned them over. Then there were
some excellent engravings, (always the
delight Of mine eyes) of King Charles,