Democrat and sentinel. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1853-1866, 1860-06-13
Mrs. Jones "Puts Up a BILL,

| MIS-. Jones ''Puts Up a b1ll.''
This House to let?' Yes and soul an,
body, mind and brain. eyes and ear, finger
and common sense ''to LETT too, Wonder
my head is up in the fourth story or down il
the furnace-room-wonder if know enough
| to tell what's o'clock without asking somebody
to help mel
never would have put up that bill in tht
world if I'd known what was coming. Thai
wretch Jonesl won't give him piece of my
mind when he comes home to night2 "Oh.
it's no trouble at all, my dear-just show me
any one who calls, over the house," Nc
trouble! much Jones knows about it
There's that stair carpet ruined by muddy
feet tramping over it. Jones shall get me
another one, just as sure as there's carpet
store on Broadway-see how he likes that
Wish know how many times I've been thro'
the the formula to day, Fifteen rooms in the
house-gas fixtures included-good furnace
newly painted-bell wires-bath-room-
cellarf" Shouldn't wonder bit if never
was able to say anything else again. Serve
Jones right, III wasn't!
Fourteen old ladies-every one of 'em with
rusty black bonnets and dilapidated umbrel.
las-couldn't be satisfied without putting
their noses into every closet in the house,
ular notice that the spout was off the china
cream pitcher Not darn in the baby's
night gown, not thin spot in the carpet, not a
stain in the table cloth, put they made an in
ward memorandum of! I've a great respect
for age-those old ladies out of the third sto-
ry window, when they leveled their spectacles
at the dust in the window-seat and rolled up
their eyes in pious horror at the rent in the
curtaiusi
Seven young married ladies-not at all
afraid of giving trouble-couldn't think of
house whose walls were not freescoed-didn't
know how people Iced in an establishment
without gilded door knobs-looked critically
at the mended spot in my morning dress. and
peered curiously into the halfopen bercau-
drawer, to see how many collars I had
Didn't like the house-wouldn't be hired TO
live in such a neighborhood, and departed
with noses elevated at an angie of forty-fve
degrees. Wanted to scratch several of 'em
but didn't. Hen to tell Jones about that,
next time. he says don't control my temper
Two red nosed old gentlemen, very short,
fat, and cross--wives sick at home with tee
heumatism-stopped short at the third story
putting like locomotive-Eever would rent
house that was all stairs. Knocked over the
baby's cradle-stepped on Fido's tail-crack-
ed one of the panes of plate glass in the front
door with the handle of walking stick, and
ereunt about as good natured as hungry IL
gers. (N. B.-Pity the wives about two
hours hence-begin to appreciate the meek
ness of Jones little more than l used tod
One good looking young man-very bash
ful and poiite-going to be married soon, and
wanted nice house to put his angel in
Felt rather sorry for him. be cause he evil
IDENTIFY didn't know whether the house was
warmed With hot-air furnace or dumb
waiter Won't be have good time learning?
Just wal. till Jones comes home though
III let him know what think of having ones
house turned into race course Oh, here
he comes. Now, Simeon Jones, do you con-
sides it the part of man to let your poor
wife be so shockingly imposed upon by every
old hag in town? Yes, and all the young
ones too? Do you-hey? what? the house
to let? Who's taken it darling? Tell me,
there's duck? That nice young gentleman
with the straight nose and the sweet NOUS
taches? Don't look so ferocious? 1 don't
mean anything. The old woman with the
pock-marked face and the round spectacies?
Now, Jones what did you let her have the
house for? kRoic she's boarding house
keeper-if ever there was woman so tired
as l ann Take down the bill, Jones, take it
down-if you will rush to ruin 1 can't help il?
Tre done my duty.