Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1860-04-20
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At forty wise, at fifty rich;
AT sixty good, or never.
Here is brief !" essay on woman"
AT ten a bad, at twenty in bloom;
At thirty married, ifever;
At forty mother, at fifty aunt;
AT sixty--the probability is that the old
lady is something the worse for wear.
A FrGHrINa COUNTRY. "a citizen of
Memphis, Tenn, has just returned from
trip to Arkansas, and tells the follow
ing, which will convey an idea Of how
they do up things in that State:
Having occasion TO stop at 4 small town
on the river, be was compelled to remain
over Sunday. After the usual cogita-
tions incident to Sabbath morning, he
strolled through the only street in the
place, and halted at the "grocery,
around which a crowd of dozen people
were congregated He remained there
three hours, and in that time one man
was shot and fatally wounded, and two
others seriously stabbed, in three sepa-
rate fights.
From fighting country himself, our
friends equanimity was not seriously dis
turbed, but be was rather surprised that,
after the ARRAYS were over, the perpetra-
tors of the shooting and stabbing should
resume their previous occupation with
seeming unconcern. Turning to an ac-
quaintance, he inquired "Don't you ar
rest anybody here?" "Ob, no p was
the answer, sue amt Incorporated yetp
SEVERE UPON HER OWN SEx.-Lola
Monte ironically remarks to young gen.
tleman: "You ought to know that there
are four things which always more or
less interest lady--a parrot, peacock,
a monkey, and man, and the nearer
you can come in uniting these about
equally in your character, the more you
will be loved. This is cheap and ex-
cellent recipe for making dandy, a
creature which is always an object of
admiration to the ladies'"
- An Irishman had been sick long
time aud while in that state would occa-
sionally cease breathing, and life be APP
parently extinct for some time, when he
would come to. On one of these occa-
sions when he had just awakened from
his sleep, his friend Patrick asked him /:
And how'll we know, Jimmy, when
yer dead? yer after waking up every
time" Bring me glass o'whiskey,
and say to me, here's ill ye, Jenny,
an if don't rise an drink, then bury
me-"
People say that they sheH peas when
they un-shell them; that they hask corn
when they un-husk it; that they dust the
furniture when they un-dust it, or take
the dust from it; that they skin calf
when they un-skin it; and that they scale
fishes when they un-scale them. | have
heard many men say they were going to
'Oeed their gardens, when thought their
gardens were weedy enough.
GUESS Nor?- Sitting by our open vim
dow, last Sabbath, enjoying the sunshine
and drinking in the balmy air, we espied
little fellow three feet high sporting a
gay cane and putting away at big cigar,
leisurely sauntering down the pavement
in solitary walk As he came opposite
our window, unconscious of being OBJ
served, he soliloquized "No, | guess
we Amt walking out for our health to-
day oh, no of course not Colum-
bus Journal.
A western preacher, after stating
that tea, coffee, sugar, spices, pickles,
preserves, milk meal snuff and tobacco,
were adulterated, stretched himself up
to his full height, and with great cmpha-
sis exclaimed: /" Who then will dare to
deny the fact that this is wicked and
adulterous generation9"
How few are contentl The POOR
envy the rich the rich envy the poor
fat people envy the lean; lean people en-
Wy the fat. The brunette wishes she
was a blonde; the blonde desires the
the raven tresses of the brunette. And
SO goes the world
"A fellow was told at tailor's shop
that three yards Of cloth, by being wet,
would shrink one quarter Of Yard
+" Well them" he inquired. If you
should weta quarter Of yard, would
there be any left ?"
"A man out West has been severely
fined for huggiug girl in church. Bah
Times.
If women are angels--as they are
called--where a more appropriate place
to display alteration for them than in
church?
= Those men who destroy hoalthful
constitution Of body by intcmperance,
and an irregular life, do as manifestly
kill themselves. as those who hang, or
drown themselves.
= Some men spend the whole prime
Of their lives in letting down empty
buckets into empty wells, and fritter away
their age in trying to draw them up
again.
- Ayar;cc is prevailing passion Of
age, and as mankind becomes more fond
Of money, the less chance they have Of
enjoying it.
- SANDERS issuing from red and beau
tiful lips, are like foul spider, crawling
from the blushing heart Of rose.
= Three things that never agree-two
eats over one mouse, two wives in one
house, and two lovers after one girl.
= Don't mind the caprices of fashion
able women: they are as gross as poodles
Fed on milk and mullins.