Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1860-10-06
E5g N2S0 GU&Gas

A witness called 10 give testimony in
town court, about shirt. came 10 tho
point very abruptly. as follows:
Mother said that Sal said that Polly
said that Bob told her that ho bad secn
man that seen boy that seen ieller that
run through the street with red slnped
flannel shirt OF o wlilo color all check.
checker-and our gals won't lie! for tho
old woman has licked 'em hundred hmos
for lying !
Mike ia a liulo darkey of dozen years
who was purposely lsfl slone in the store
one day and watched through door that
stood ajar 10 tos, his honesty. Finding
himself alone. he began 10 canvass 'he
apartment for something good, and clip.
ping bohind the counter. he soon helped
himself literally To nuts and candy. Up
on being caught in the net, and rePTman
ded, ho began TO justify himself 10y say
ng-'Y You'd no business 10 leave ne
lone YOU know'd I'd steal
An old lady who was apt to bo tfoub'
wilhnl, Informed the paTsOn OF the PARISH
lhll on The night previous rhc dreamed
she saw her grandmother who had been
doad for ten Yeas. The clergyman ask
ed what sho had been eating "Oh. on
" half minco pic "Well,' said he,
I'D you had dcvoured the other half you
might probably bayo secn your grand
father"
The question before tho meeting 10
lhis 1T Gellow--Ilsl is fellow--and
his gal-sTe about to DO parted for time
and they propose 20 exchange dagueT-
reotypcs, and Tor that purpose ia" fellow
goes into dsgueuCoIype shop and II TO
pay for having the picture took-and ho
has only money enough TO pay for ono
picture IN magnificent case, and one
picture in an ordinary one. which picture
should be put in the magnificent case. his
own ugly mug. or hers Would it 10
gallant in him to pu, her mug in the ugly
case Would il be generous in him 10
put his mug in the ugly caso which shc
is to keepi That's tho question before
tho meeting.
Now then, my hearers said gallan.
captain. you have tough battle bcio,o
you. Fight like heroes ill yonr powder
is gone, ,hen-run I'm little lame
and I'll start now =
"CasliGaIc that quadrupcd until lie shall
have accelerated his pace" said dandy
10 livery stable boy, who was driving
him short distance into tho country.
"Talk to mo in English, don't under.
stand Ingin," replied the boy.
A iipsy customer, who was sesled on
the box with tho siaee driver, swayed
backward ill he iumbled off. Tho mud
wns doop, and ho fell soft, "Ihero
now," he exclaimed, as he crawlcd on, Of
the slough. al knew you'd urso, if you
didn't caro-" On being told that they
had not upset, rnoi upset - be echoed
in amazemenl, III Id have known lba, |
wouldn't have got off,"
Brown is a married man. A few days
since he thought Of taking trip TO Paris.
One Of his friends meeting him in the
street inquired.
"WeIl, Brown, my boy. when are you
Off"
"To-monow."
Going to take your wife with you p
"No, IT'S voyage Of pleasure"
John Wilkinson. the noted auctioneer.
better known as Long john was always
for his ungorernablo dispo.
siIion TO speak out in meeting When
he was quite juvenile. and bad been sue
cessful at school, his father, as reward
for his Iabors, gave him two lambs. Ina
few days Johns sheep wen, asuay. and
on the following Sabbath. ss usual, John
went to church. The country parson dig
cOuEscd al length about tho lost sl.eep Of
israel die continued and OF repeated
aRusIOns 10 these lost sheep excited
John beyond all measure lie could con.
lain himself no longer. and rising in his
place. exclaimed
"Look here. old fellow. them's my
sheep. if they've got bob tails /; III be
iaTned il they amt"
A fellow on ,be race course was stag.
Iering about with moro liquor than be
,ould carry.
Halo wha, is tho ma,ior now Z said
chap. whom the iDebrisle indiyidusl bad
ust run against IA,
4. IL