The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1860-03-29

@urflOn on our " = oSy u w SINCE, which pur-
,or,s to be q copy of a letter forwarded by the
.t-saty taken up much Of our space. but this account
I'll uroye about as readable IA any Of them. Brother
Ionathan thinks that bis story ought to appear in
rrpt as well rs the others-1
OwHYHEE, March 26th, 1860.
Mr. DEAR UScEE FAKE Il have been intendin
aver since I arrived at these isian1s 70 let you know
how I got here safe and sound. Some how a rather
every time . mail-boat has left for your parts, I
~.ouBl'nt scare up pluck to write you, but this time
the . regular boat has been a waiting and a waiting
:. tsrnally long, that I reckoned that perhaps she
ras a holdin on to take one more letter, and so I
starts of for the beach to find the Captin, and seq I
.Csptin, il you'll jist hold on till Tomorrow I'll
write q long pistle to my uncle FAKE, who lives out
vest there in Tennessee, and tell him all about what's
soin on Of late here in these diggins. 1 know the
folks out there's q cussin and suarlin because 1
don't write, but that can't be helped nohow." The
Captin laughed right out. and being q good natured
kIIer, seq he'll wait one day and take my letter, as
twill add two cents to his freight list.
tell you what tits, uncle FAKE, we've been = havin
a grand time here Of late in looking at them are
Japanese, what they call an Embassy, who have been
stoppin here, and are now on their way to Uncle
SIMS farm, via Frisco and Darien. They came
hero in ono Of his big pleasure boats, with the Admiral
sboard- 1t seems kinder hard to take away these
fsuer creeturs from their homes in japan, where
they've been pennel up all their lives like so many
siggers, and not flowed to see nor hear anything o.
outside barbarians, as they call US civilized people.
I didn't know nothing 1T all about them bein here
till l heard the papers making such a tarual fuss
about them, that you couldn't see or hear anything
else bat the japanese. So I concluded I'd come into
town and take a look at them. And you'd a laughed
right strait out to have seen them are fellers as did,
all dressed in wimen's fxins, and their hair all lied
and stuck up with n sort o. varnish, and skivered up
jst like a pigs tail. only it was cot square off. And
everybody was n starin at them, and they was q
starin at everybody else. as If they were half fright
snei. jst like so many skeered grisleys. And I reckon
It was so, for she very next day they all cut sticks for
the ship, and you couldn't find n soul on 'em any
where about the town, and all you could hear about
EN- was wha, the papers had to say.
7 found everybody was a goin of to the big ship
which they called the Pol1hafan (after old Capt. John
Smiths Indian ga. I spOse) and so thinks 1, I'll go
600, for I'm a rsel Yankee. and have got as good a
right TO see Uncle Sans visitors as any on 'em. 1
vsrn't 'spectins to go till some day after Sunday,
but when I heerd that they was a goin to sail right
straight OF on that day, I Diet armined I'd put on my
best coat. wi tn brass buttons, which they told me Off
eials required, and start Of for the boat instead Of goin
to meetin; for, SEE I. if Uncle Sam allows his boats to
70 to ses a Sundays, he can't blame me i'll make my
official visits on a Sunday too, not by q long chalk.
So OF I starts in one Of them shore-boats. called
" Hail Columbia aud steered the craft right up
alongside the big ship Pouiaian, which was sur
rounded with a host of boats, enough to have taken
possession or her, IL they'd jist been a mind to- 1t
was only when 1 came alongside on her that I seed
what n mighty big craft old Uncle Sam had been q
sendin out to get these ere japanese. 1 jumped
right straight up the gangway stairs, and jst as I
was seppin over, n TELLER in eppalets and a sword
met me, and, SEE he, your name SURF" "-My
name sur It's Jonathan Slick, as everybody knows
in these diggins ; and 1 want to see the Admiral and
them are Japanese that they're maxim such a tarnal
fuss about here" The Teller grinned, and SEE he,
" This way sir" Everything aboard there looked
mighty war-Iike, and made me feel rael pesky, but
there was no gettin round it, and I had to face the
the music, like brother lothian on trainin days.
The deck was covered with men all dressed like so
many militia men, carrying swords and guns, and
ali that sort of thing that 1 never dreamed of seein on
board Of Uncle Sans boats. There were some
mighty big guns that they call peacemakers, large
enough to crawl into, and some feiers standin by
them and a watchin them IS if they'd been so many
tigers I felt kinder skeered at furst, but when
the Captain met me on the deck, SEE he, How
do you do, Mr.. Slick and seemed 50 ALFRED glad
to see nfs, that began to feel all -rightish again, | tell
you. Well the Captain, he asked me right into the
back cabin where the Admiral and big Ambassadors
we're q sittin, with some other fellers around them,
. taIkin about all sorts of things I shook hands
with the Ambassadors, and they seemed mighty glad
to see me. I asked them all about their country and
their religion, for I had heern folks say they were
only n set Of darned heather after all, as they can't
auvho4 r hadn't fairly IN
talkin about their gods and temples, when I heerd
a tremendous rumpus and a scrapiu outside on the
deck as If the whole crew was a risin up in arms
and a goia to slaughter US right out. And who
should come along but the honorable Minister of
Foreign Relatives, with the queerest old bundle Of
papers under his arm, all tied up with red tape and
lots of big red seals. As soon rs he came in, We all
stopped a talkin, and stood back, for we thought the
King himself was q comm too But as soon as they
all got through their everlastin long bows, and got
fairly seated agin, the Minister, he got up and CON-
neneed n hemmin and a hawin, and a kickin up the
hocus pocus you ever saw, and begun =
talkin about some big names which nobody on arth
heerd on, and all about His sord and Master and
the Pcrtergeese, which the japanese couldn't tell
nothin about. They sot there as patient as old Job,
i'll he got through his thunderin long yarns, and
hen they rz up and said "Thank you" like so many
and sot down again. That pesky lying
,aper printed here by the Ministers, SEE they cried
light OUT. but that's n darned lie, for they were only
aughin in their sleeves all the time he was a deliv-
his clumbungeous speech He made the most
almighty fuss over it you ever herd on, and you'd
laughed right out to have seen him
Well. after he'd got through a tellin about himself
md n lot Of other big folks he said he'd represented,
hen he begun to read a lot Of Span yard stuff, which
ne called a passport, and asked the japanese If they
like to take it along. just.as if they were
yOin to visit the darned Spanyards. tell you what
tbs, Uncle FAKE. he only wanted to show them that