Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1860-02-03
FACT, FUN AND FANCY.


makes fields Of daily life fresh and odorous.
WHAT did blind wood-sawer take to re-
store his sight2 He took his horse and saw.
MEN are never so easily deceived rs when
they are endeavoriug to deceive others.
Few MEN are above suspicion, but great
many are below it.
Tine philosopher Frazer says that though
man without money is poor, man with no
thing but money is poorer.
- THERE is man at Oxford who lives SO
fast, that he is now absolutely older than his
father
-" BE CONTENT with what you have" as
The rat said to the trap when ne saw that he
had left part OF his tail.
Why is blacksmith constantly deserv-
ing confinement in the penitentiary2 Because
he is forger by trade.
-" CLARA, my dear, what beautiful sky,
how admire it," Yes, Charley, | some
times wish was sky"
A GERMAN writer observes there is such a
scarcity Of thieves, they are obliged to offer a
reward for their discovery.
MEERscHAuMpipe, it is said, are made out Of
the foam Of the sea. The manufacture of them,
therefore, must be a surye-ical operation.
My NAME is Somerset ! am miserable
bachelor. | cannot marry for how could l
hope TO prevail ON any young lady, possessed
of the slightest delcaoy, to turn Somerset"
-IF ASKED what physician stood at the top
Of his profession, we should sayit was the gen.
tleman who was in the habit Of attending ''pa-
tients on monument"
"Do You think, sir, this bill is good
enough to pass?' Why, it is mt worth much
but then tbs better than half the bills that pass
Congress-
y IGdLEs would like to know what kind of
a broom the young woman in the last novel
used when she 'swept back the raven ringlets
from her classic brow"
" WHEN is plant like q hog when it
begins to root. And when is it Ikea soldier?
".
an editor when it begins 10 blow.
A SICK boy, dreadfully sick from chew
ing tobacco, lay on a store-box. Another boy
sympathized with and chcered him by saying /:
" Grin and bear it, Bill--weye all got to
come to it sometime. You'll get over it by
and bye
A SMALI SQUEEzE.--ln late case Of
breach Of promise of marriage the strongest
evidence Of the defendants affection was the
fact that he once gave two cents for an orange
and presented it to the fair plaintiff.
-FAsrDIousSEss.- "A lady Of uppertendom
was some time back greatly shocked on read
ing that male and female strawberry plants are
frequently found occupying the same bed
A FEW years ago the ladies wore a kind
of hood called "kss-me-ieyou-dare" The
present style of bonncts might with equal pro-
priety be called, ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS"
AN ACCOMMODATING LANLoRD. A. board
ing house keeper advertises to furnish gentle
men with pleasant and comfortable rooms, al
so one Or two gentlemen with wivesp
-CuT AND CoNE AGAIN." The ocean
speaks eloquently and forever. "-Bcecher.
Yes, and there's no sort of use in telling it
to dry ap.' p-LoaisriIe Journal.
DID HE WANT TO BIrr HER A printer
devil wanting to kiss his sweetheart, ad-
dressed her as follows; Miss Lucy, can Ihave
the pleasure placing nv imprint on your
'billYii
Or all tire actions Of a mans life, hismar-
riage does the least concern other people, yet
Of all actions of our life this is most meddled
with by other people.-Sslaon.
THE old ceremony of bringing to the high
table boar's head, bedecked with bays and
rosemary, was observed, as usual at the Uni
versity of Oxford on Christmas day; almost
COO persons were present.
A CONNECTICUT schoolmaster asked lad
from Newport, " how many Gods are there p
The boy after scratching his head sometime,
replied al don't know how many you have
an Connecticut, but we have none in Rhode
lsland.n
Class in the middle Of geography stand
up. Whats pyramid2n "a pile Of men il
circus, one on top of another" "Where's
Eeyptgp Where il alters was" Where
is Wales r. All over the sea- Very
well stay there till show you species Of
birch well known in this country
= SomE wag lately took drunken fellow.
placed him in a coffin, with the lid so that he
could raise 1t, placed Il in a graveyard, and
waited TO sec the effect After a short time.
the fumes Of the liquor lett him; and his po-
Eiton being rather confined, be sat upright,
aud after looking around, he exclaimed :
Well, I'm the first that's rz, or else / N con-
foundedly belatcdl''
"A DouBLR EDGED PRAyER.-A little boy
one day had done wrong, and was sent, after
parental correction, to ask in secret tho for
giveness Of his Heavenly Father His offence
had been passion. Anxious to hear what he
had 10 say, his mother followed to the door Of
his room. In lisping accents she heard him
ask 10 be made better, never TO beangry again
and then, with chidlike simplicity he sdded,
4" Lord MAXI nra's temper better too.