The independent. (Harrisonburg, La.) 1853-18??, 1860-01-04

A Blunder- -Buss-kissisg the wrong wo-
man.
He is a first-rate collector who can, upon
all occasions, collect his wits.
Law is like anger; thers are great many
uncommon cases in ii.
"The N'iie's Secret''-Hcr opinion Of her
husband.
How to become great Broker-Dreak a
little every three months.
Every age needs the influence of every
other age, to keep it healshsul.
The Post calls Noah Webster an enchan-
ter, because of his tremendous spells.
"Lawks!" exclaimed Mrs. Partington,
swhat monsters these master builders must
be! am told some on 'em have as many as
a hundred Hands q
'Ihe newspapers of your party are a
pretty nuisance" said politician to his
opponent. 'That's just what horse thieves
think Of sheriffs," replied the other.
Poor men Of al! men should never under.
axe to drown their sorrows IN strong drink
It dosn't pay Misfortune may drive a man
to The cup, bgt j; takes fortune to keep
A young lysstl;saf has discovered tha.
Arkansas IS ofthesfeminine gender, "corz its
got.Miss Secrf M u e.uorf, Louisi Anna on
the soul, Mrs. Sippi on the east, and ever 50
many shemales on the west.n.
"Mynhccr, do you know what for we call
our boy Hans.''
"Do not, really"
swell, I will tell you. Der reason we
call our boy Hans, it ish his name"
A rArmesi ID Scotland, sowing field Of
turnips, appropriated a ridge for the accom-
modational the public, with this label, You
are requesVed to steal out Of this spot"
Timothy saws the 6rst time he Went a
courtjng he felt as if pink angel had
hauled down rainbow with piece Of Chain
lightning smack into pileof dawn. Whar's
pistiI9o
Mrs. partington, speaking of the rapid
manner in which deeds are perpetrated, SAID
that it only required two seconds TO fight q
duel.
why had man better lose his arm than,
his lcga Because in losing his leg he loses
something ITO boot"
.Ah. JOE, since you've been 10 the city the
black OK died, withou: any notice whatever ?
"Gracious mercy!" replied 5oS show fast we
are all passing away!"
A verdant customer from the country, at
hotel ont West. being asked by the waiter
whether lie would have green or black tea,
it was, lift had plenty Of sweetcn;n' in it. :
II is said By some Yankee, 10 be an ex-
cellen. plan always to measure = mans length
bsfors you kick him, for It is betterto bear
an insult than tc make an. unsuccessful at
Tempt as thrashing fslIes, aneEg your
eyeteetll knocked out.
How TO OpES OYsTERs.-s'Talk Of open.
ing oysters" said old Hurricane, why,
nothing's easier, you only know how"
s.And how's how! inquired Straight.
Scotch snuff" answered old hurricane,
very sententiously. ~Sco.cl, snuff. Bring a
little Of /. ever SO near their nose, and they'll
,sneexe their lids Off"
u know a genius, observed Meistcr Karl,
'.who has better plan. lle spreads the
bivalves in circle, seats himself in. the
ccutrc, and begins spinning q yarn. Some
times it's Al adventure in Mexico-soine-
time. 4 legend Of hi. lose--some.i,nes
marvellous stock transaction. As he pro-
cccds the natives get interested -one by
one they gape with astonishment at the
tremendous and direful whoppers which are
poured forth, and as they cape, my. friend
Wipes 'ssn out. peppers 'eih and swallows
EN-
sigh: II wish we had ! busbel Of ne bivalves
here now-they'd open easy" n
The way 70 kill = printer j. 70 always pay
him on the presentation Of his bill, fas sacb
an unexpected phenomenon will cause 4
= Z 4szr a.. r IL. .