The constitutional union., 1860-12-14
H0W i 5IE4NB0Ar W4S NAMED.
The following is one of the best things

that ever appeared in Harper's Magazine, and We have heard rumors to the same effect, and can therefore, almost endorse the truthful ness of the yarn:
 Bob was a dissolute fellow very early in life and he fell to his saddest ebb just prior to his marriage. The beauty, spirit and worth of his destined wife were proyerbial.
 Bob was fascinated, and determined to win her. She accepted him, condigionally that It. would reform from that moment, and he did so. The honeymoon had been gone a wear. Tn that interval Bob had assiduously devoted his fine talents to raising hsmself to cmineuco Ill his proIe ion, and to raising cotton on his plantation. The pair were yoya@ing up the river to their place, when there came aboard of the boat BoJ's wealthy Guondam friend. Capt. R familiar with Bob in the htter's days of bachelor reyeLry. he Captain was a very hard cid boy, and could drink most men under the table. Bob was inyeiolcd to the outside Of that little cup 1 board called the bar, where the rcd-eye and the cye-opcner circulated freely. Twelve at midnight came. when all but Bob and Captain ] H- seemed to have retired from the cabin. ! Empty champagne bottles on table marked ! the half hours already gone, while the full ones in basket showed the time yet to be measured by each pop and fig. The Captain vas about launching a new boat, and so many names for her had been sevcraAy discussd and l rejected that the bottles had popped to two ] . clock in the morning.
 i "s sSn-&1-Saih'a Jajoa, suggested Bob. | &-.. G,. -4',., ...,t,2 z h., t',f.+,in | ''' NWdaau" reiterated Bob.
 '' Che L,uo@" responded the Captain ] striking the table.
 Bob could only maintain 9 see-saw perpen- l dcu,ar. while the Captain Was high in ex- ] hii@ation Gently, then, a st:.e-ro2m door 1 vas opened. Forth stepped ByJ's beautiful wife, Followed Ay her waiting maid with two ] bucket, ot water.
 ". Captain R. ! believe no one is ill ,hia cabin lut we four.
 No, Madam.
 Then, s.r. name your bout Tie Drunken Beas'.|
 The dainty little hands went a,oft, and ] down came he contents oi oue bucket on the head and shoulders of her hu.ba1d The l olhcr bacLc. speedily cooled down the Cap- tan's person. What passed thereafter in that cabin it may be that the clerk didnt 1 sNlv observe but certainly i. Was through his agency that the little lady had prc-eXchanged her ~tuo-room; and without paus.ng for q sequel, she Lclt an orderly retreat. When 1 Bob -hicd into the rcpudialci room, ddlqt 1 he prouounco the vacuum ycr-mgu!ar. audEe on the floor outpouriug dubious explosives . The trio Aad d Ia.e brcaktast and their ! painful silence WAS broken by Capt. E--: ! .5ir. -. # agreeable. l would be most happy of aa introduction t) your lady,.
 ..' Captain 3-. .lGs. -, my wife.
 ...3 3la 'ar.' ~,.G ha Captain, | uast that ! l ~hall a.t 5o considered imputinent by re- marking that believe sCu were Mss -- before your n.rria-e
 "; That was my name Hca sir; and, rather stcrnly. | wish itWere mine a>,r, sir
 ''Ab and 50 do l, iladaui call4ntly and significantly responded the Captain. Ba: ,ha name shall he preserved, Madam; ! it -hal he g'icI on my new boat and when she become, too o.3 to honor i., ehe shall be -up4-vlcI hy another. As long as 1 live taa. name shall bc borne up anj down this river; ani perhaps .t- constant contemplation wliiia!uee me t3 ose,t mg table tLc element lllt tie name will H1lt over.
 Now oae or ,Ae aue-s s.aunche~t and Ge.s-5 aolmer, oa car ~.a,Ec;n waters is that same ! laow bv authority. lAat neither Bob nor '.- wife have c.c. ai- aial to that night; aud ! know oo, that there never Nssa -JoaIlyr, h.-h-ts4,i gentle man lan Hob he. been .a th. E.-f Jhrea yl-r- >. t.a e-..l I.-ra him f.t- iI.. tLa l.r of hi> honor; and though no oyo-o euar can oia h.m, he ~aocamh- lJ the beautiful onoa eye Of l5 wife; and though he will often smile t is only 0 reflect h.. charming hU-A'
 Tna Gccrrt-ioS OF NorAE-Thoy