The gazette and Democrat. (Lancaster, Ohio) 1860-1860, 1860-07-26

to be crownered; and then likely enuf the
younger fry would have a dance. The
whole TO end with taLlcu, and a relation
Of cold wittels. .
"I went down to Whites after some
salt mackeril, and | read over the parolel
logrum, and kinder thought | should like
to go to that are party. When | got home
| asked yer Uncle Joshua about it; but he
was a readin', and didn't pay much atten.
shun to me. He only sed that he didn't
reprove Of folks being 60 gay and light
minded. Joshua used to have spells Of
bein' melanchoier than a tombstone; but
he never coufected me, for l believe in
lafling when there's anything to laff at -
Anuermils didn't lan--nothing lafTs but
human critters;' and if it hadn't been rieh
for 'em TO have l,ffpd, I don't believe
they'd have been made with any apparat
us for lafing. Now, there's old Aun
Sally Brant--her face is as long as a yard
stick, if not longer; and | really believe il
she was to snickcr once she'd cut hcl
throat, for fear sho'd be tempted to laf
right out next time. It's enuf to give
ennybody the dispepsy to look at her; and
when | eat to her house the vittels s!lets
lays heavy in my stomach--she puts the
sollcmchollies into em SO! An unhappy
life that woman leads; and her husband
poor critter!--is nothing but a skilhton
with a jacket and trowsis on! When the
wind blows hard he has to shet hissclf up
down cellar, in the purtater pen, for feal
it will kerry him clean TO nowhere. His
shadder left HIM long ago. They do pur.
tend to say that Tom Stikney's wife sent
their dog over to Brants t. stay while
she went to visit their darter for a week
and when they got back home. poor Eide
was kinder dropping, and fell away and
died in two or three days. They thought
he had the consumption; but l thought
he died Of the solumcholies!
"But 10 Git back to the party. As
sed, 1 asked Joshua about it, but didn't
get his answer; so waited till we sol
down to supper; and then | let inc him
agin.
"Why, Keziah," sez he, "what on airtl,
do you want to go for? And old woman
like you had better stay to hum
~ aint an old woman" sez I, witt
split. II amt so old as you be by foul
years; and you wasn't too old to kiss Sally
Yucher up to Willey's apple bee last fall!
81 beg your parding Keziah,' sez your
uncle. ii didn't mean nothin' You
aint no age at all--not day, as I'm sin
ner"
"Jo,hua's doxology kinder pacifcd
me, and | glanced across into the looking
glass, and seed that wuz rulher young
lookin' woman. smoothed out my cap
string, and sez L
wall Joshua, Pm glad that you've ar
riv' TO your senses; and soein' as you have
I'll jest explain little about the party
First, we're 10 go and get all the posies
we can muster--then make 'cm into TO-
kays and crowners--then crown queen
aud then dance round May-pole.
Dance round a liddle-stick! sez youl
uncle. Don't make a fool of yourself
Keziah; natur did that job for you pretty
thoroughly Git up by daylight, and sc
scrabblng off into the bushes, indeed
Wet your feet, and have the rumatlz wuss
than ever
Land sake, Joshua, soz I; i can wear
my Inlian .scrubbcrs, aud hold up my
gownd!'
'Humph! sez Joshua; shortly; and grab
bing piece Of mince pie, he made tracks
ior the barn.
al sed nothing more to your uncle a
bout it; but | took Ichabod one side, and
he and talked it over; AMI ho told me lC
cit myself ready, and should company
him. lie guessed he could 'squart his
marin as well as ennybody.
'Wall when the 'pinted day arriv',
was up in the morning by two o'clock
for sartain, a naling round, fixing yor un-
cle's breakfast and doing mp the chores
Yer unkul was abed, snc rim away like
all possesl, and | concluded it warn't est
TO wake him.
"By break of day we sot ont for Jcn
kins' woods. There was the slightest Of
folks gOin'-eycrybody, and his wife and
child, was up and coming. lchabod he
quit me on short ordea, and Mary Ann
Hayes hitched onto his arm, and away
they went, peeking into every little mud
puddle, and pryin up every BIT OF moss,
for fear there was a Mayhower hid away
somewheres.
"For my part, it was so trcmcnjuous
dark that couldn't see to find nothing
and, unfortunately, forgot TO bring my
specs, which made matters wuss. low,
sumever, picked a bunch ofspruce twigs
and a aprig of hemlock, and that was
something towards it. By-and-by | step
ped on sumlhing that moved | am ter
rible afraid of snakes-the pictcr Of one
will set me to trembling like an aspen
and | thought I'd got on TO one sure, ant
| screamed right Out
'Marciful alrth, a snaik a snaik!
Everybody grabbed their clothes tigh,
around 'em and run like crazylics; and
run too, as fast as my trotters would car
ry me, till run ag'iust and clean ovel
Gin raj Gordon and Sam Parker, as they
was squat down, trying TO decide whether
they'd found a toad stool or blue violet
The Gin'ral is a skeery man-and folks dc
say that he warnt any too good to his wife
when she was alive; and sense she's die(
he's afeard to go out of doors after sun
set, for fear be should see her apparatus
When run o7er him, he thought his witt
had sartinly come, and he up and legget
it for home like steam engine; while