The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1860-02-08
MISCELLANEOUS.
sUPERSTiTIOUs PEOPLE.

a half.hidden love of the marvellous, in |
every ones heart This remark has been |
often made, but like all true observations,
it will bear repetition. The man who is
common sensical in his terior-who, in
outward show, is most utterly sccptical on
all such subjects, will yet conceal, in the |
innermost reccsscs Of his soul, some pre- |
sentiment which he believes in; some pet
apparition which, if brought to light would
refute his expressed opinions entirely.
When carried only to a poeti al point, SUI
pcrstition israther agreeable than otherwise:
but when an individuals whole life is ov r
Swallowed by its cloud, the case is very diff
ferent. Heaven defend us from the thor
oughly supcrsttlous man! Heaven defend
us q say it reverenty) from the black night
mare ITSELF
The superstitious man is usually one Of
impaired digestion, and prone to indulge in
late suppers of heavy nature. At half.
past eleven he will devour the best part of
cold turkey, and al that was left Of the
plum-pudding, and retire forthwith. In the
morning he arises with saffron complex.
ion, and no appetite for breakfast and i'm
proves your appetite by informing you that
he knows something dreadful is going 10
happen" Naturally you wish to know
what, in order to be prepared; but all you
can gather is that just as the clock struck
twelve, black woman with black dress
entered his room and sat upon his breast,
forcing him to swallow nine cannon balls,
one after the other, and afterwards endeav-
oring to smother him with the sofa cushion.
You gently hint at the nightmare He is
offended Immediately. He never has the
nightmare; the dream was a aoarning;: you
must be on the look Tout for all sorts of mis-
cry. The superstitious. gentleman is SO
fully impressed with this opinion, that what
ever calamity occurs in the family, for the
next ten years, is always ref rable t. his
warning. AS he has a warning" almost
every night he is well provided for any
contingency.
The sup rsttious lady is generally an old
aunt from the country, who lives all alone
in damp location, and feasts daily upon
Mrs. Radcliif S romances. She visits you
every spring, add entertains you in the fol-
lowing manner:
Dear! dear amt it awful, Jane, my
dear? Awful
'What is awful, aunt ?" you inquire, in
alarm. ,e
ooh! you hain't noticed it? Well, then,
won't skeer you, though du wonder you
hain't; but then folks does seem to be kept
in the dark; l suppose it's Providence,
Oh, dear!'
You insist upon knowing what is the mat
ter, and, by and by, Aunt Martha draws
close to you, and whispers behind her
hand
"Didn't you hear that dog howln' ~
You inform her that that is Smiths dog,
and that he always howls when he is chain
I'd up. -.-.... ..a e.
"Ah," says Aunt Martha, shaking her
head-"Ah, well, when Uncle Thomas died,
there was a dog howled e'enamost hull
year before; and when neighbor jenkins
died, there was Pixies dog, he howled; and
when Miss Nibbins she died, there was Big.
gins dog; lie didn't howl nor nothin', but
be barked outrageous; and Biggin's folks
they didn't know nothin' about it. | was
over there to tea-ovcr to Biggin':, Imean-
and their dog ne sot to and barked. 'Lor,
SEE Miss higgins, seq she, how that dog do
bark oh, Miss Bggins,' sez |, depend
upon it, it's a sign 'Lor,' SEE she, 'he
arn't howlin'.' That don't M Ike no diff
ference SEE /, it's a sign And, sure
enough, 'twasn't two days after that Miss
Nibbins died; and she lived two good miles
away wasn't it, Johnny 2"
''How did your lookin' glass come crack.
ed?-there's another sign. There was q
lookin' glass cracked, clear across, wher
Bctsey higgins was struck by lightning
standing straight afore it; and last night
| heard rapping on the wall. No! not
the new family next door hanging uF
their picturs them was mysterious rappings
my dear. but wont brighten you only
if anything appens after Pm gone, bt
sure and send for me, and Ill come with al
the pleasure in the world, I'm sure''
AS the state of mind induced by thes,
warnings is very likely to lead you into fall
ing down stairs, or upsettng the tea-kettl
over the baby, the old lady's predictions ar
generally fulfilled
The greatest blessingin family is, how
ever, q superstitious servant girl, particu
larly when you have plenty Of small, i'm
pressble children. In the midst of pleas
ant evening party, she will astonish YOU
guests by banging open the door, and an
nouncing, with howl-"Och hone! bu
the banshee is a screamin' in the back ware
fit to split his sides, and it's what my life.
worth to be takin' in the clothes to sa,
nothin' Of your honor bein' goin' to be
hoary corpse, savin' yer presence, before tn
"SSN = WV "AAA LIZ "ocSo iIot uuc-dlS
who's to pay 'em for it's a sure sign
The Lord above us all-wurrah !-what'll
do for my Sunday bonnet! and Pat comm
to take me to Central Park Sunday fort
night"
Or you will be alarmed, and the neigh
bors, and any old policeman who happen
to be floating around, will be called in by
frghtful midnight Shrek and proceed
ing to the attic, you will be informed tina
1.-THE ghost of the man who lived in it b,
fore. came to the window wild white shcs
onp Your children will exist in state .
chronic fright, superinduc,d by holr.b
stories; and you will lose your servant ius
when the house is filled with company, 80
account of a drama she had, which was
warning not to stay"
In short, if you wish to have happy iii;
encourage superstition in your family. G.
up spiritual circles as frequently as poss
BILE, and procure superstitious seryar
girl. II you obey these directions, you
wife will become possessed of second sigh
your eldest son will become writing m,
dunn, your youngest daughter ghos
seer, and you yourself may eventually
installed in private apartments in the neal
est lunatic asylum,