Anti-slavery bugle. [volume] (New-Lisbon, Ohio) 1845-1861, 1860-05-26

ALON K.

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With true soul banning evil deed,
And heart that breaks not though IL bleed.
All, all alone, to solve the doubt
To work our life long problem out
Casting our feeble hands about,
For human helps, for human cheer
Forgetting God is always nearl
There is sometimes something inexpressibly
cad in the very sound of the word alone! To be
surrounded day by day, and year by year, with
busy, busting phantoms Of flesh and bloodj-to
hear the wordy mockery Of their voices forever
sounding in our ears; to mingle in their petty
cares, when our hearts are for, far away; to see
their prying glauces fastened upon US, when our
own vision lie turned inward and thick curtains
drawn closely over the souls mirror, to guard its
sanctuary from eyes p%rofane; to walk with falter-
ing footsteps the path Of life, crushing back every
aspiration to ;ts hidden source, laying a ieaden
hand upon the we'll spring of fancy and sentiment,
and sitting each upspringing thought at its birth;
to find no one CHOSE heart hGts responsible TO our
ot0n, among all those who look upon us, and call
Us acquaintance, ~neighbor, aud perchance friend
this, this is to be alone; a lot full of bitter
ness and anguish This as soul solitude, and is
never felt when we are alone with Nature and
can hold sweet, but silent companionship with it's
viswless Author, and listen TO the ten thousand
"still mall voices" with which lie has gifted
the deep soul Of the Universe, aud which thrill
us with their strange mysterious power, all speak
ing to oar soul of harmony and peace. There ie
no sadness in this, for His presence pervades all
things, and His peace broods over US with the
pinion of repose. But there are moods Of the
mind when the mere presence Of on uncoDgenial
soul is the keenest torture to the sensitive spirit.
To feel their cold, unsympathizing chances fasten-
ed upon US, sends a chill creeping through every
vein, and we recoil from them, and shrink back
within ourselves, and bolt and bar every door Of
ingress and stand sentinel, watching with a ner-
vous fear least by some uugarded portal they
should gain admittance into the fortress of the
heart, and by some magic power turn our very
souls to stone or ice. They fasten upon us the
cold, steely radience of their metallic eyes, and we
shrink and tremble beneath their gaze. And
though we may chide and blame ourselves, for
allowing a mere mortal to effect us SO, we cannot
cast Of the sitting atmosphere which they throw
around as, nor rise upon q strong self-poised pin
ion above it and breathe a purer air. Mrs. Brow
ning'bas well said, as many q soul less gifted
than her own, has often felt that
"Tis torture to be Observed
When observation is not sympathy"
Every human being is surrounded or e~nveloped
as it were with a sort Of atmosphere peculiar to
themselves; wherever they go it goes with them
and is as unseparable as their shadow-an efauS
of the soul, b~etraying its nature even where The
lips are mute and the eyes dumb. Sometimes
but rarely-we meet with those whose atmos
phere 80 blends and harmonizes with our own
that their presence soothes, refres' es and strength
ems us-aud sometimes we-mingle-I was goin
ing to say-but there is no mingling, can be n
harmony-) but we are thrown into the presenc
of those whose mental or moral atmosphere 80 jar
upon our nerves, so clashes with our own tina
their presence ~irritates and annoys US, puts GU
best thoughts to flight and fills US with unres
and disquietude. We feel their presence if VI
enter q room where they are sitting, though W
see them not. Instantly q shadow comes owe
our spirit denser and darker than the shadows g
the flying clouds that fit so swiftly over the sun
mer fields. and we feel
"with many a seeming friend
Alone, and ~lonelier than if more were near.
There may be those whose mental and spiritut
organization is SO thoroughly material, that the
are never conscious If this mysterious infuen'
upon themselves and they will laugh at the ide
and sometimes we think they are to be envied f
the immunity from pain which such an orginiz
ton bestows; but we cease to envy when we I
member that they are alike strangers to the pu
delights that fill the Utmost soul Of the more sci
sitVe and finely organized spirit, for
"Chords that vibrate sweetest p~leasurs,
Thrill the deepest notes Of vice."
And sometimes the ever-present consciousness
q capacity for the most exquisite enjoyment, tn
IL with US even in moments of keenest anguish,
a luxury, sweeter, more to be coveted than {
mere immunity from pain which is their higb'
joy.
Not always do those Of kindred spirits DIV
under one roof, and cluster around one hear
stone, but often, oh too often, the path of life
trod with bleeding feet, by those who dwell toge
or from youth to age and whose spirits ne
meet. They look into each others eyes, but tn
is no electric fash that reveals the hidden thou
no return Of the ointment that is blindly Sc
ing its own kin but finding it not. They n
share the same pillow, sit at the same table,
at the same tasks, and yet be strangers. (
may be content with the cups of life which de
ny holds to his ~lips-msy be happy if crops vi
we'll and money is plenty. the other with the SO
blessings may cry out in anguish thai the sos
starving and there is no mama in the cups
there is no response to the bitter cry-no sp
food to satisfy the souls hunger. All this may
incompreheusibls to the one and be asks, ~
should any suffer with the same that satisfies
eat, drink and bs merry, this is life" And 80
companion plods on by his side vainly trying
satisfy the intellect and the spirit, with the 'huI
that are shared with the swine and
bsss.s that perish. Existence is a long, liugel
death. and the soul is literally starved and
lite which might have been made bright and b.
tifol, goes out in darkness, and the world 10
the light which might have blessed it for con
years.
"Wil it ever more be thus
Spirits still imperVious?