The Placer herald., 1860-08-25
Artemus Ward Encounters the Octoroon
ONro The Woo, the II, lS, & so.

these hear lln2e. some OF tne nlgnest an(
most purest feelns which actooate the hu
man hart has bin trampt onto. The Amery
kin flag has been OUTRAGED. I've been nussiu
Adder in my boozum. The fax in the case
is these here:
A few weeks ago l left Baldinvil to 20 to
N. Y. fur to git out my flaming yeller
handbils for the summer Kampane and al
| was peroosen q noospaper on the kars a
middle aged man in speck,erku!s KUN and
sot down beside onto me. He was drsst 10
black klose Il was apparently as hne man
as ever was.
"A fine day, sir" he did unto me strste.
way say.
"Middin," sez |, not wishin to kommit
myself, though he peared to be as fine man
as there was in the wurd, "it's a middn fine
day, SQUIRE" observed.
How fairs the ship Of State in yur Sec
ton OF the kedentry," said he.
Sec |, 1--WE don't have no ships in our
stait-the kanawl is our best holt"
He pawsed mint and then said. "Are
you aware, sur, that the krsss is with us?"
NO." seq I, getting up and lookin under
the seat, "where is she2"
| 'lts near, It's everywhere, seZ ne.
Sez !, "Whi how you talk" and got up
agn and looked awl around II must say
my fren," continnered, as resuomed my
sect, "that cant see nothin of no kriss my
fef." felt somewhat alarmed. and arose
g. in a stentorian voice, observed that il any
lady or Gentleman in that there kar had a
krissis concealed abowt their persons, they
had better produce it at onct, or suffer the
consequences. Several individools snckered
rite out, while pooty little damsel rite be-
hind the in pink gowned made the obser
vstion, "He, he.w
"Sit down, my fren." said the man in
black klose, "you miscomprehend me. |
neen that the peritical elerments are ore
cast with black clouds, 4boding a friteful
Storm
"Wel," replied |, "in regard to perlittykul
eefunts, don't know as how but what they
is as good as any other kind of ellefunts.
But make bolde tn say that they is all
onnery set an unpleasant to have around.
They air powerful hevvy eaters and take up
right smart chants of room, g. besides they
air as ugly and revenjful as a Cusscaroarus
lnjun with thirteen inches Of korn wiskey
into his stnmmick.
The man in black kloso seemed to be as
He smit and said, "Praps wos rite, tho
it was elurments instead of ellerfunts that
he was alludin to-" and axed me what was
my prinsipus.
II haint got any," said l, mot a prinser-
pul. line in the show bisiness."
The man in black kose, will here OBJ.
sarve, seemed to be as fine a man rs evvur
was in the wurld.
"But," sez ho, "you have feelings into you9
Yu cimpathise with the msfortunite, the
loly & the bart cick, don't you?"
He burst intu teers and asked me if
seed that young lady in the seat out yonder,
pintin to as slick looking gal as ever
seed.
Sec I, "2 be shure see hers she much
sckl"
The man in black klose was apparuntly as
fine man as ever was in the world any
wares.
Draw closter to me-" said the man in
| black klose "Let me get my mouth for
nenst vure ear. IIush--shecs Octoroon"
mol" SEE |, Citing up in an existed man
ner, "yu doant say so! How long has she
been in that way"
From her cal liest infancy" said he.
"Wall, what on airth duz she du it for!"
| inkwieyed.
"She kant help it," said the man in black
klose, Its the brand of Kane"
"Wall, shede better stop drnkin Kane's
brandy" replide.
81 sed the brand of Kane was upon her
not brandy my fren. Yure very obtoose.
was konsdered riled at this. Sez |,
My jentle sur, line nonresstanter as 4
gnera thing. & doant want to git up nc
rows with nobody, but l kin nevertheless
kave in eny mans he'd that calls me OBJ
stoose," with which remarks | kom
menst for tu pull OFF my extry garmints
"Kum on" sez I--"Time! hears Benk
Boy for yu!" and | darnced round like q
poitt.
He rz up in his seat and axed my pardiu
-sed it was all mistake-that | was a
good man, etsettery, etsettery, d so 4th, d
we fxth it all up pleasant.
must say the man in black klose seem
ed to be as fine Il man as ever lived in the
world
He said Octoroon we're the 9Th of a
nigeer. He likewise s'ated that tho femsi
he WAS travein with was formurlie a slave
in Mississipry that shede purchist her free
dim, and now wanted to purchiss the free
dim of her poor Old muther, who (the man
in the black klose obsrrved) was about 81
years Of age, and had to do all the kookin
and washin for 25 hired men, which was
rapidly breaking down her consttution.
He said lie knowed the mint he gased
onto my klassic and benevurlent fase that
Ide donate libruly, and axed me tu 60 over
and see hur. which accordingly did. / sot
down beside her and sed, ''yure Ssrvant,
marm! How do you cit alongr