East Saginaw courier. (East Saginaw, Mich.) 1859-18??, 1860-11-22
, WAShINu MACHIN Is.
The SarAay Atlas thus discourses

There Is an immense revival in the de-
partment Of suds: The washboards,"
those knuekle bruisers of olden time, are
being consigned 10 oblivion. Yankee
labor.saTng, money.making ingenuity
comesh to tire rescne. There stands the
4oachine. Three yards Of dirty linen is
showed iato one end of it, turn OF the
crank and 10 from the other end is
shrown out the linen manufactured into
a shirt, washed dried, stsrohed and ironed
ready for use To this complexion
will the washing machine come at last.
There is one block in Broadway which
ia fast being resolved into a grand mart
for washing machines, conical, horizon
tai, perpendicular, parallel, longitudinal
and straight out. In one of the windows
solemn looking wax figure arrayed in
female garb, Is all day long spasmocicaIly
twitchipg at the crank of a machine
which bears a slight resemblance To an
Indian cider press That wax figure Is
enough 10 give professional washer
Noman the horrors. 1t has but the one
motion with It's arm, the monotonons
twteh back and forth, here she goes
and there she goeS'-the stolid face with
it's unmeaning, rigid stare and excess of
vernliilioH blush, slightly modified 10y
dust--as movelcss as the face of the
Sphynx. There is another machine
about the size of a whi,lcy barrel, which
is waYrcnted TO tear the dirt ont OF n
shirt by the roots; another which mani
pilates the neither garment quite tender
" and is warranted not to do any partic-
ular damage to anything or anyhody.-
There is yet another machine, "Thc De-
light of the Laundry" aud the eXtermi-
nator of stationary tubs a satirical
reference, probably, to the Hoboken ferry
boats, which machine is so complicated
that we are morally certain that any arti-
clio put into it, less in size than horse
blanket or All overcoat, would never
again be visible to mortal eyes. A shnt
collar or a pocket handkerchief would be
rubbed out of existence at the first twist
of the crank 1t is full of mysterious
compartments, corrugated slides, wooden
pegs, Stats, knobs, and incomprehensible
grooves which twist about a score or two
of rollers. The Democrat is ready to
aflidavy" that if ever any feminine
amateur IN the washing line-any young
tender and inexperienced housekeeper-
purchases one of these machines, and
gets her hands in it when all those slides
Stats, knobs, pegs, grooves and rollers
are in motion, she will be drawn into II
bodily aud be found next morning by he,
griet-stricken husband, thing Of shredi
and patches-an inundated sacrifice t,
the murdcrous ingenuity Of Yankee
inventor
We can fancy the awful task Of tina
unfortunate woman who, setting the ma
chine in motion, puts in n handkerchief
and continues turning the crank unit
the article comes out. Hours, days
weeks, months elapse, and still she turn
waiting, waiting in vain. Turn, turn
turn, her eyes fixed stedfastly upon tina
maestrom of squirning grooves, an
rollers, uprising Stats rafting against tn
corrugated slides, and the incxtricabl
snarl of pegs and knobs slowl y revolving
~ - =: a.. ls..i>s Oh
Fancy, too, that in the irresistible ilnpt
tins OF the motion Of this internal linen
devouring apparatus, one of the Stat
should get confused with two or three &
the pegs, and cause an explosion Of tn
entire machine. And even the poo
woman cropping among the fragment
and spllnters, might search in vain fc
the handkerchief. A double millio
magniiying glass, with Herschel's tel,
scope at the end of it, and an eye of fort
human power, might discover, pcrhap
floating in drop of the scattered sud
m intinitesmal atom of the handkerchie
Such machincl We cannot concciy
how the folks at Washington ever sa
far enough into it to grant patent fc
it. Perhaps they were so bewilderc
over it that they issued the patent with
out knowing it, or probably the very fac
OF their not understanding it, was ii
reason the inventor received pater
at all.
There is another machine few doc
further up Broadway, which looks niue
like dry goods box with the corne
knocked of. This concern makes ella
teiing like troop OF horses gallopin
overa loosely plankcd bridge. We thin
soap and water are not necessary in tn
machine. 1t evidently shakes the d
tions Of the crane, the Gathering becom,
nppalling-unearthly, and is enough
send the strongest minded woma
through series of Mysteries into Il
limbo Of lunary souls at Utica, and wit
out the benefit Of clergy, or giving he
as a country newspaper once mis.printo
the phrase, by emitting an err" sho
shift aud a speedy death" There
another machine on the opposite side
the thoroughfare, that works somethin
after the fashion Of n churn. Perhal
the inventor intended the bousewi
should churn her butter and clothes
ono operation, which would give the 70
mer the sdmixture Of dirt usually four
in marketable butter.
1t is related as an actual fact, that
countryman, having a desire to preset
his wife with sewing machine, pu
chased what he supposed to be a vel
handsome articles and after it was box,
mp, took it home with him. When b
wife unpacked it, to her horror she b
held one Of the dry goods box pattern
washing machines Why what n Ia