Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1860-09-06
aDit ann Anmur.

WHAT DID liz SAY, LYDIA?-Good old Mrs
Call was very hard of hearing, being some-
what advanced in years Her daligtsr. Lydia
was a bouncing lass, who loved a good frolic
and knew well how to get one up. Lydia
had arranged a tlnket, andlthe young men
and maids were all on hand. Among the rest
was the General--one Of EN-. In the midst
of the fun, in popped old deacon l., to
see how the widow Jared. This was o blan-
ket to hemerriment and deacon held on tilE
Lydia was out Of all patience. She wished
he would go, and by and by he gets up to de-
part. ~ j.
80, Deacon, said mother Call, "don't think
of going before tea. o, do stop to tea
The Deacon % strongly urged, replied
"Wel, / rather thiak viii, as the folks
will not expect me home before dark"
"What did lie say. Lydia!" asked the Wild
ow.
Lydia had ready answer.
ole says he will not to-day, mother, as The
folks expect him home before dark. Why,
how deaf you are getting, mothor?
20, well some other day, Deacon, won't
you2" said mother Call rs she showed the
Deacon out. A ,,A r.
"smart girl, that" said the Deacon, as he
srudged along home She'll find her way
through, I'll warrant"
AN ANEcpoTE.-Lewis and Sam D-s
couple of residents of this county, who loved
rum and hated snakes some years since went
down to the salt marsh to NOV. They hung
their scythes and were about commencing
the work when Lewis proposed to Sam that
they should take drink of the quart provid-
for the occasion. Sam agreed Of course, and
as it was hot day. and a hard task before
them, they concluded to rest awhile under
the shade of tree, and then take another
drink and get the ready on. 81
The bottle had passed two or three times,
when Sam said to Lewis:
Let's drink the darn stuff UP, and VIC won't
be hankeriny after it,
1t was bargain and betwixt the two, the
balance was soon disposed Of A pause en-
sued: Lewis rose 70 his feet, threw his scytho
over his shonider, decariug;
IN be darned if I'll NOW without rum
'Darned if will, either says Sam, and
with that they shouldered their duds and trot-
ted home without cutting swathe.-Brigd-
ton Chronicle.
A young man rather verdant and rather
sentimental, while making himself interesting
to young lady the other evening, by quot
ing from the poets, to other choice and rare
extracts, added this:
"Therc is no place like home"
"Do you really think so?" Saiti tfie young
lady
"Oh, yes." was the reply.
'Then," said calico, "why don't You stay
thers2"
A gentleman who had just returned from
Arkansas informs lis that he heard; the foi-
lowing dalouge at a tavern.
'flaFio, boy
'Haloa, yourself!
Can get breakfast hcra?
i reckon you can't
why not2'
'Massa's away, missus drunk, de baby got
the collie, and don't care darn for nobody"
John have you 'anded the sugar?
Yes.
Watered the rum?
Yes.
Mea'ed tho ginger?
Yes.
Have you graveled the coffee?
Yes.
Then come into prayers.
What do you ask for that ero beast?'
One hundred and twenty-five dollars
One hundred and twenty-five dollars?
Yes.
Give you twenty-five.
Take him along 1t shant be said thai
spoiled good horse trade for hundred dol
lars.
''Is this your only suit, Jerry? it's raths.
shabby"
90, no, l'vc got another"
"Wherc?"
"In court"