davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Van Buren press., 1860-05-11
Agents for the Press
The observation-disclosures,

There has been no rise in the river since
our last Navigation has closed entirely.
The weather is dry and, for the season,
quite cold. Crops are needing rain badly
There have been no steamboat arrivals
for the past week. Several boats bound
up are between here and Little Rock, but
will have to await a rise to enable them to
setup-
The Belle Creole left Cincinnati for Ar
kansas River on the 25th ult.
The Aruyo was advertised to leave St.
Louis on the ID inst.
The Leon is between this place and Dar-
darelle, with government troops in charge
L.. Coleman, bound for Fort Cobb.
The steamer Free Stone was advertised
TO leave Cincinnati for this river Oh the Ist
OF May.
Capt. J. w Smith has contracted at
Brownsville, Pa, for 900 tons packet foI
the Arkansas river and New Orleans trade
She will be completed by the first OF Au-
gust
The Van Buren press., 1860-05-11
Ohi1uaY.

The members of Dripping Spring Lodge,
No. Ii. Independent Order of Good TEN
plars, do mournfully feel the loss of thei,
brother. Samuel Pratt, whose life was sadly
e.tinguished on Thursday. the Sd inst.
Resolred. That while his death is ree.r-
ded by us as an irreparable calamity in the
circle of brotherly love, to be only deepen
ed by the sad accident that brought him to
q premature death. AS we become more
more sensible Of - vacant place in our cir
Gle, caused by so awful an occurrence, his
loss to us will be much more keenly felt
and deplored, and that while the friends
mourn for him We eympathise with them
Resoired, That we will wear the usual
badge of mourning for thirty days in token
OF our regard for the deceased brother who
has gone from our circle forever
Eoted, That the committe have the fol-
lowing proceedings published in the Van
Buren, Press.
COLMAN BIRD, CHEF TKMrLAR.
EARNEST PERNoIT, Secretary.
The Van Buren press., 1860-05-11
Railroad Conventions.

4 CONVENTION will be held at the follow
n ing times and places where the President
aud other Officers OF the Little Rock and Fl Smith
Railroad Company. together with the Contractors
and other distinguished gentlemen will meet and
At Benneans Mills, Friday, April q. Ozark,
Saturday, April 2s. Clarksville, Monday, April
30 RusseIfviile, Wednesday, May 9. Galley
Rock. Thursday, May g. Lewisbmgh, Friday.
May l. Springfield, Saturday, May 5. Dover,
Monday. Nay Z. Van Buren,, Monday, May IA.
1t is earnestly requested that all Who feel an in
terest in the construction of this Road, will turn
out and lend their influence 10 aid of the present
effort. Of the company. 1t is designed, as soon as
P"ssabscts place tie entire rUute under contract,
and it is hoped that the people viii respond prompt
ly and sheefufiy. JESSE TURNER, PkEs.
Ell TArIos, Secretary. 39
The Van Buren press., 1860-05-11
SUNDRIES.

700 hhds Sugar. 100 bbls so !. Molasses
lOO 50 bbls Cement 80 bis crushed, pow d
and Loaf Sugars. 90 bags Pepper and Allspice.
10 b.gs Ginger bbls Cloves. 2 cases Nutmegs.
300 kegs Nails, assorted. 100 doz ptd Buckets
30 bags Corks, 500 each. 20 doz cast Tea Kettles.
3 and at. 500 bags Coffee 50 boxes Tea, ass d
qualities 50 boxes Family Soap. 10 casks Ale,
pts and ots 10 casks Porte, in pts and OTIS. 9
bible soft shell A,mol.ds. 2 hhds Figs. 50 boxes
bunch Raisine.- s. bosss l.Yes R.isi.s; 50 half
20 box rock CANDY 10 box Gum Drops 90 box
Lozenges 80 box choice fancS, candy in = n box,
10 box cream candy. baSes Eaccaronl oO mats
Cinr anon. 30 box ground pepper and ginger. 5
ceroons Indigo. 10 box Mustard. ~ box Oran,
ges and Lemons. so box cham i1agne cider. 90 90
Hosteters Bitters 50 box StOught.,n b:tters. p p
doz Underwood's q Turner'S Lemon syrup ~
boxes Pickles, a.s'd sizes 10 box tollatoe and
walnut ketchup; box Worcester sauce ,'ox
olive oil 100 bags table salt, in 54 l0b bags;
case table salt in boxes 10 case sardines in y
boxes 50 box Herrings; 20 box goldfish 80 hit
Mackerel so casks soda 2 bbls P. and NJ Yeast
powders; 10 box Andrews celebrated Yeast pow
ders 10 half tierce and tierce Rice 10 box sui
phur; box Birthstone Q box blue stone box
concentrated Dye l26 os ouinine; 10 doc Wist
e Espsesossns; ss 10 doz 4. Peppermint. 'A
Vises 80 Bellows, asst sizes; 50 stocks and dies
asst Sizes right and left smith hammers, all sizes
zoo east Plows, all sizes, points. mould board
and sides for eame; 10 corn shelters 80 self
sharpening feed cutters, asst sizes.
so prs breast chains 25 prs tongue chains IS
prs streteher chains 500 prs traces, assorted 3
cask OK chains also, garden hoes. rakes long hdl
shovels, spades, in quantities to suit purchasers.
80 doz Lamp Wieks; 10 dog lamp chimneys; 3
All just received and for sale by
mar 2,'60s J. HENRY. WILLIAMS L. CO
The Van Buren press., 1860-05-11

@ The following oath to be admins
tered to legal gentlemen when admitted to
he bar, passed the Massachusetts, Senate
ay vote of 13 to 3
" Gu solemnly swear that you will do
20 falsehcod, nor consent to the doing of
any IN cour. /: that you will not Willingly
or willingly promote or sue any false,
Sroundless or uElawful suit, nor give your
aId nor consent to the same You will de-
tsy no man for lucre and malice but you
viii conduct yourself In the office of an at
torney within tue courts. according to the
best OF your knowledge and discretion, and
with all good fidelity. as we'll to the courts
As to your clients-so help you God"
The Van Buren press., 1860-05-11
"AaoNIc

VAN BuREN LoDaE, No. s, A. Y. Masons, hol
their regular monthly communications on the night
of the second Monday in each month.
". F. ENGLAND, " NJ, GEO. W. NEwLASp, Sw.,
r. S ROBERTS, J.W-, j. W. CUNNINGHAM. Se'cy. A.
K FOSTER, Treas, John INGRAM, SD, H. c. HAY
NAS, j. D., L. GRAF, Tyler.
The Van Buren press., 1860-05-11
The Great National Prize Fight.
NEW YoRK, April 2S.


The great fight for the championship of
England between John C.. Heenan and Tom
Savers took place early On the 17th inst.
They had fought two hours and eight min
utes when the excitement of the crowd
broke down the barriers leaving the fight
undecided Both parties were dreadfuily
punished, Heenan being nearly blind.
The fought over one hundred rounds
There existed a difference of opinion as to
who was the best man. Sayers fell almost
every round. On the first dozen rounds
Sayers was knocked completely off his legs
His arms suffered much Heenan's eyes
were quite blackened, and at the last round
he became quite blind. Heenan showed
splendid fighting throughout the contest.
He shows much more punishment than
Ssyers.
Savers drew the first blood
On the tenth round Heenan completely
lifted Sayers from the ground and threw him
heavily with the greatest ease.
The eighth round lasted twenty minutes
and ended in Sayers going down.
The seventh round tasted thirteen min
uses. Wonderful skill was displayed On
both sides. Il is not known whether they
will fight again. The fight was decided to
be drawn.
On the thirty ninth round, which was
the last, Heenan got his arm around Say
er'sneck, and to all appearances, was stran-
CLING him. Cries of Let him go - were
raised Heenan, however, stuck to his
hold- The ring was broken in and the
greatest confusion prevailed the umpire
vas carried away In the Iing and the fight
was prematurely brought to close, neither
having been declared the winner.
The London Times correspondent visited
Reenan, on the evening of the 17th, and
found him very comfortable. end in excel
lent spirits. Heenah is not satisfied with
the result, and is anxious to fight Savers
again, as soon as possible. The indigna-
ton of Americans, and large portion of
British public is loudly and vehemently ex.
pressed
LONDON, April Is, P. NJ
Ii Is rumored that Heenan and Savers
would fight again
The ring was broken into by pack of
thieves who used the excuse to rob every
enc Ii WAS well known that Heenan would
not be allowed to carry the champion belt
out OF the country. Englishmen who had
bet their all on Savers, as soon as they
found that he was losing. resorted to the
most unfair means in keeping Heenan and
putting him down.
A meeting of Americans will be held in
this city. to night, ON the subject
George Wilkes will demand the belt for
Heenan, and prove that he is entitled to it.
Heenan's rights will be properly attended
to-
New YORK, April 2S.
The Tribune says: :. 4 gentleman now
at the St. Nicholas Hotel, who witnessed
the fight, says When Heenan had got
Savers into such nnsirinn that he must in
The Van Buren press., 1860-05-11
MARRIED

In this City. at the Presbyterian Church, on
Tuesday Evening last, by Rev. Mr.. Samples, DR..
E. R. DUvAL, of Fort Smith, and Miss MEDoRA
DIBaELL, daughter Of DR.. J. A. Dibrell, of this
place
The Van Buren press., 1860-05-11

SCENE AT SIMpsos' 's.-Waiter (bawling
to the cook, "One roast lamb and one
potato" Old gentleman No, no Not
Sd much lamb anI more potatoes P'
The Van Buren press., 1860-05-11

A SSORTED LIQUORS.
n. l6O Babls. copper distilled Whisky,
SO bbls. and 4 bbls. Jones' white Whisky
25 bbls. Robinson county do. Whisky,
% bbls. old Bourbon Whisky,
40 bbls. Pure Bourbon and Rye Whisky,
40 !. bbls. American Brandy,
90 :. bbls. Gin,
10 =. bbls Sweet Wine,
SO 10 gal. Keys Bourbon Whisky,
81. Casks Old Port Wine.
u Casks Old Cogniac Brandy.
bbls. Alcohol,
bbl Jamaca Rum, for sale by
July 6. SO. GEO. +. WHITE.
The Van Buren press., 1860-05-11
New New =.

- bcxes old dominion Mint Julips 4 boxes Le-
I mar 9 1860 u. PKysYwIr,- -Scorr 4 Co.
The Van Buren press., 1860-05-11

< 4 lady, who had been subpe naed
Is a witness on a trial, asked her husband,
IN great trepidation, what she should saw
If the lawyers inquired her age. -" Say ."
he replied g why. tell them you hsven't
Vet reached the wears of discretion"
The Van Buren press., 1860-05-11

@ Straw berries put up in cans pro-
siuce oNalic acid, deadly poison. A sol
,..er died from eating strawberries thus pre-
.,r--e3
The Van Buren press., 1860-05-11

<E A poet says. :" Oh. she was fair. but
souou came, and left his traces there
What became Of the balance of the harness
lie dcI't state
The Van Buren press., 1860-05-11
NOTICE.
CI&AR 8 !
GRATN CRADLEA, D
Fancy Liquors.

O cases Simpsons Bittes 10 cases sherry wine
. 6 cases pure juice port s cases Madeira wine :
2 casks Sicily wine 4 Or casks W. " p. copnac :
6 dog wistar's Balsam Wild cherry; dog sedIetz
powders doz Seitl1er sperient 20 boxes Un-
syrup; 10 boxes brandy cherries 10 doz Uunder-
woods tomato catsup; dog walnut catsup doz
pepper saaee - don T~neess psppssnt, Just rec d
and for sale by -s..,i : fl5zs''y
mar 9, 1850 PExNywn, SopQy = Co
The Van Buren press., 1860-05-11

~ ii IS bad sign to see a man with
his hat Of At midnight. explaining the the
"ry and principles Of true democracy to a
iamp-post.
The Van Buren press., 1860-05-11
FELLMER & GRAFT,
DEALERS IN
WATCHES, JEwELRY,

DC, DC, dc.
l.. GRAF, j. FEILMER.
Main Street, Washington ST.
VAN BUREN,. FORT SMITH.
Offer to the citizens of Western Arkansas and ad-
joining Territory their select assortment Of
Gold and .Siirer Watches, Diamonds, Fine
Gold Jerelry, Sluer Spoons, Specta-
cles, Guitars, Violins, Flutinas
and a variety of other arti-
cles, all of ,rhich zee
WILL SELL At Low PRICES.
H Particular attention paid to RE-
PAIRING of Watches and Jewelry.
July s. 1859. lyl
The Van Buren press., 1860-05-11
10 O. r

CRAWFORD LODGE, No. 6, /. o. o. F. meet at
their Hall over the store of George Austin every
Saturday night. II. PERNor. n. G.: H. +. THoxG-
OF, V. G. J. VNsANr, Sec'y. G. AusrIS y, Treas
The Van Buren press., 1860-05-11

SUNDRIES,
- 1900 II boxes SARDINES,
100 dox McMurray's and ib can Oysters
It's Bags Rio Coffee,
Is hhds prime sugar,
25 bbls sugar house molasses,
25 kits choice Mackerel,
40 boxes Scotch Herring
25 boxes Pepper Sauce.
10 " Tomato Ketsup, for sale by
July 6, so GEO. f. WHITE.
IRON.
1000 fb assorted BAR IRON,
5000 fb. -. < !. :"
$500 b Horse Shoe Iron.
1000 fb Dandy Tire Iron. ...-.
300 b Hoop Iron.
1900 lb. Plow Wings.
1000 h. asst Band Iron.
1900 b. Slsb Iron.
1900 b. asst Round and Square Iron.
10 Smiths Vices,
q Mouse hole anvils,
IL Sets, assorted, Stock and Dye, %
6 30 to IS inch Smiths Bellows,
800 h. Smiths Hammers, for sale BY
July 6. 80 GEO. E. WHITE.
The Van Buren press., 1860-05-11


W l5o bags Rio COFFEE, 100 bbls SUGAR
S bbls crushed Sugar. l Coverings Loaf Su-
gar. Is bbls MOLASSES. 25 half bbls do, 200
10 boxes do. L II papers, S bags ALLSPICE
$500 n STAR CANDLES, 90 boxes STARCH
20 boxes of SOAP, for sale by
July 8, 1889 WARD & SOUTHMAYD.
The Van Buren press., 1860-05-11

Drugs.
10 kegs of EPSON Salts.
SO doz. Godfrey's Cordial
so doz. Bateman's Drops.
81 dOz. McIanes Pills.
80 doz. do Vermifugc.
50 doz. Castor OH.
doz. Bay Rum.
100 ib ext. Logwood, in 1fb boxes.
July II, SO. GEO. f.. WHITE.
The Van Buren press., 1860-05-11

~fTa NEW GOODS
8 a KITS Mackerel Just reed
O4 dec 1853 1qsIs z-E-,.'
100 boxes Oysters, just reed
lOO dec 1883
S0 be.e: mobs.ers, just reed
Ok boxes Cod Fish, just reed
AO dec 1883
40 boxes Herrinss, scaled. just reed
fC dec $3.50
~ boxes Pineapple Cheese,
~ dee 1883
700 bSxs. 9 ....d and $500 u boxes sardines
~ boxes Maccaroni, Just
III dec 1889
40 boxes assorted Candy, just reed
y bbls Almonds and
- bbls English Walnuts,
10 boxes Pearl Starch, just rec'd
Al doz Kentucky MusrARDs, just reed
10 dec 23'59
SAUCES-Crosse 4 Blackweu's Engish Sauces
- and Catsups, just reed
92btls PgRE @ RYE WHISKY. js. rso'd
F,Asss ss. 5sagoRs, s,!gs just reed -.ss
DIE Fr.i..-Curr.ut,, Blueberries. Rheubarb
etc, etc. just rec'd 3. dec. %
LNREsH FRUIT-Peaches, strawb berries. etc, il
II hermetrically sealed cans, fresh and nice.
DRESERVES-Quince pears, etc.
dec 2359
ELLIES-Plum, Currant, etc, just recd
- dec 1883
ENISH-Mackerel, fresh salmon, etc, Just recd
dec 1888
ID ICES tierce Rice, fresh, Just rec'd
II dee 1888
Boots and Shoes.
go cases Brogans,
OC 25 cases woman's Downings,
10 cases Youths Boots,
30 cases mems Boots, assorted quality, jus
reed at
dec 1850 PENNYWIT, SCOTT 4 co. 8
The Van Buren press., 1860-05-11
!! Champagne /!
Champagne

a cases Verzenary 4 cases cabinet, I cases royal
H rose, 1 cases Heidseick's pts q qts Champagne;
IL boxes Sauterne white wine 20 boxes claret Just
rec d and for sale by
mar 3, 1860 PENNYwrT, SCorr 20.
The Van Buren press., 1860-05-11
New York. April 2S

The Tribune says: g 4 gentleman now
at the St. Nicholas Hotel, who witnessed
the fight, says: When Heenan had got
Sayers into such a position that he must in
evitably have won, John Morrisey cut the
ropes and let Heenan fall 10 the ground. I"
The Van Buren press., 1860-05-11

NAlLs'
20 kegs assorted cut nails,
20 Bags Walkers Horse Shoe Nails,
SO doz saddler's cut tacks. for sale by
July 6. SO GEO. f. WHITE
The Van Buren press., 1860-05-11

DORTER, WINE, BRANDY, &C., &C.
40 doz Porter, Ale e. Bro Stout pts & qts
so &" VOLTS pit. Schnapps.
90 Pure old Bourbon and rye whisky
20 " John Bulls Sarsaparilla,
10 " Pure Port Wine for med. purposes
TO-" Old Cognac Brandy,
10 " Brandy Cherries,
10 " Fancy Cordials,
10 " Turner's Ginger Brandy,
10 " Forest Wine Bitters,
}" Claret, for sale by
July 6, SO GEO. E. WHITE.
The Van Buren press., 1860-05-11

TNO SPORTSMEN.
10000 G. ID. Caps,
10000 Walker & Colts Caps,
5000 To Neosha Bar Lead,
5000 Baldwin's Gun Wads,
Is bags asstd drop and buck shot
Spr steel barrel self cooking pistols
4" Aliens self cooking 3 shooters.
4"Colts improved shooters,
for sale by
July 6, 80 GEO. Z. WHITE.
A AEs'
10 Doz Hunts and Collins Axes,
Broad Axes,
6 +" Hatchcts for sale by
July 6. 80 GEO. Z. WHITE.
The Van Buren press., 1860-05-11

TOBACCO.
10000 Medium Cigars,
0Boxes and boxes Tobacco
For sale by
July 6, SO GEO. E. WHITE.
The Van Buren press., 1860-05-11
1 $50. 1889,
Fall and Winter Goods.
WARD & SOUTHMAYD
\ RE now opening a very large and extensive
IA assortment of Fall and Winter Goods
to which they invite the attention Of purchasers
at wholesale or retail. sep Ii, SO

DAINTS, OILS, sc.
100 kegs WHITE LEAD.
300 ID Spanish Brown,
100 ID Venetian Red,
100 h Red Lead,
200 gallons LINSEEp OIL.
$50 :" Spts TCzPENTINE.
so b Prussian Blue
800 b Birthstone,
900 ib Flour Sulphur.
800 h EPSON Salts.
500 ib Spanish White,
$50 10 White Chalk
600 IL Putty in bladders,
900 gallons Lard Oil,
50 b Borax. for sale by
July s, 1859. WARD & SOUTHMAYD.
Smyrna times. [volume] (Smyrna, Del.) 1854-1987, 1860-07-19
A Minister Attacked by a Fanatic.

.Wereceived letter few days since from
Rev. A. ID. Field, of Ogle, in this county, sta
ting the reason why he could not attend the
annual exercises and festival at Reck River
Seminary, of which he was one of the exami-
ming committee.
1t appears that a huge listed man, under the
name of Redfieldism, had knocked him down in
his church, the Sabbath previous, and such was
the extent of his injuries and the excitement
among his people, that he could not leave
The circumstances were these:
On Saturday man came to the house Of
Mr.. Field and said: Mr.. Field am burdened
for your SOUL" and finally wished Mr.. Field to
allow him to preach on Sunday. This was de-
clined. The man having no authority, nor
even any confidence among the people for such
Office
On Sunday this man went to the church
early. MIR. Field preached at the usual time.
Having closed his sermon, he commenced to
read. hymn. The Redfeldte Beecher took a
stand before the pulpit, and said: q If you want
to see Salvl tion flow, look to the centre of the
house." He made some strange remarks.-
The congregation commenced to sing-Mr.
Beecher stepped quietly towards the preacher,
aud with one blow, which sounded like pis-
toll, laid the minister fiat on the floor; what
took place can be better imagined than our
space will allow us to tell.
The man was undoubtedly deranged. Mr..
Field and his people were trying TO investigate
the matter, and put the correct construction
upon the act.-Rack Riuer (ItI.) Press, 4th.
Smyrna times. [volume] (Smyrna, Del.) 1854-1987, 1860-07-19
What is Lager Bier?

There are thousands of people who drink la
ger bier in place of water, believing it to be
nourishing and not intoxicating. The Scien-
tifc American examines its method of manu-.
facture, to show how much foundation there is
for the belief:
Beer and ale are fermented extracts of malt,
hops being added to give an agreeable flavor.
Malt is stepped and boiled in water, and the
Infusion or solution is then fermented by the
addition of yeast. The specific differences of
the various beers and ales is due TO the meth
DDS of making the malt aud conducting the fer.
mentaIion. The popularity Of the lager bier
process is that the fermentation is conducted
at a very low temperature, and continued for a
very long time. The chemical change in the
fermentation consists in the decomposition of
the malt extract into carbonic acid gas and al
cohol the malt extract disappears and alcohol
takes its place. The longer the fermentation
continues the less will the beer be nourishing
81 food, and the more Intoxicating it will be &
drink. BY the conversion of grain toto beer
it's nutrtige substance is mostly lost, being
changed into alcohol and gas. Grain extract
even in the best shape, as Cruel or porridge.-
/ ienot the most fit food for a healthy man and
\ to claim that beer lie nourishing from its homce
opa.hc dose of malt extract is ridiculous. In.
ger beer ClI account of the long continued fer
menlatiohs, contains less nutritiye matter anC
mere alcohol than other beer or ale. A com
( paFison of about twenty chemical analyses o
lager md other beer shows that, 10 lager, III,
alcohol is always in excess over the malt ex
tract. while in other beer the excess is in iavo
ofihe malt extract. In lager the malt extrac
does not reach FIVE per cent, 90 that one woul
be obliged TO drink two or three gallons in OF
der to get from this viIauous food such q
amount as would be required iftaken in civ
Iized way Ale often contains a larger pc
centage Of alcohol than lager, but the malt ez
tract is still in excess, unless the ale be yer
old.
Certain witnesses have testified and courl
have decided that lager is not intoxicating
but in view Of the fact that pint of lager col
tains as much alcohol as an ordinary glass
: brandy, it might be suspected that those wi
nesses and courts had been INDUCING in lag'
!, just at the time they needed their sober judi
ment. Finally, it is claimed tina lager is
pleasant bitter tonic, stomachic, anti.dyspepti
; &c. But healthy men need no medicine al
friend of ours, who prided himsefon being {
American, suggests thstlager is too tonic.
Smyrna times. [volume] (Smyrna, Del.) 1854-1987, 1860-07-19
The Mornpa Nouns THE MAN.--That it is

The MOTHER Nouns THE MAN.--That it is
the mother who moulds the man, is sentiment
beautifully illustrated Ivy the following record
ed observation Of shrewd writer:
When lived among the Choctaw Indians,
held consultation with one of the principal
men in regard to their progress iD the art Of
civilized life among other things he informed
me that at the start they fell into a great mis-
take--they only sent the boys TO school. These
came home intelligent men but they married
uneducated and unciyilized wives, and the uni
form result was. the children were all like
their mothers; the father soon lost all his in
terest ia both wife and children; sand now,
said he, if we would educate but one class Of
our children, we should choose the girls; foI
when they become mothers, they educate theil
sons " This is the point, and il is true. Nc
nation cen become fully enlightened when mo-
theirs are not, ia a good degree, qualified 10 dis
charge the duties of the homework of educa
| ton.
Smyrna times. [volume] (Smyrna, Del.) 1854-1987, 1860-07-19
Trihes.
WHAT comes next to an oyster! The shell.
The press most popular with printers--G
press Of business.

WHAT comes next TO an oyster! The shell.
The press most popular with printers--G
press Of business.
WE find selfmade men very often, but self.
unmade ones great deal oftener.
WHEN an actor "brings down the house."
where does he take it to!
MANY beautiful women, when walking in the
streets, seem very angry if they are gazed at,
and sad disappointment Of they are not.
WHERE are you going !" asked little boy
Of another, who had slipped aud fallen dowa.
" Going to get up!" was the bldnt reply.
A lawyer engaged 10 case tormented
witness so much with questions that the poor
fellow al last cried for water. "There," said
the Judge, 81 thought you'd pump him dry"
A doctor and a military officer became enam-
ored of the same lady. A friend asked her
which of the two suiiors she intended to favor.
| She replied that " il was difficult for her to de-
lermine, as they were such killing creatures"
AN IxHuMAN oRDER.-A captain Of rifle
company, out west, was guilty Of an uuheesd-
Of piece OF barbarity on one very cold Gay re-
Gently. He actually marched his men 20 the
very brink of The canal, and then coolly CONE
manded them TO "faH IN"
al do not wish to insult you, gentlemen, but
/ must take the liberty of telling you that there
has been good deal of hard lying under this
roof to-day" Yes, sir" was the reply, " and
il has pretty much all been done under the roof
, of your own mouth.
youthful member of rife corps 10 Scott
aish town, on his arrival home one evening,
, ioyfully told his governor that he had jusl got
his arms. "Airms." quoth the ancient, dryly,
: I. I'm thinkn gin the French come, yen haze
mair need o. your legs"
), THE following, is said to be recorded in
! an Irish grave yard, is excellent of its kind:
Here lies the body Of John Mound,
Lost at sea and never found.
INGENIous ORDER.--An English volunteer
: rife captain, desiring to cross field with his
r company, came to an opening in the fence large
Q enough 10 admit two persons, but no more, tc
pass abreast. Unfortunately be could not rs.
member the words of command which would
L have accomplished the difficult task Of ilina
II through but his ingenuity did not desert him
and, therefore, be ordered hall. and then said
- Gentlemen, you are dismissed for one minute
Ia when you viii fall in ON t'otber side OF Ii.
fence