Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1860-08-10


Fathers with locks SO hoary, tt3HT.. r. .
3 Sons In the bloom of youth. Yfst Fu.st
f Mothers, and sisters, and daughters, 4 y.- %
With your prayers and blessings come =
Death death |! wherever he lurketh, tsf'f Us .
' TO the serpent whose name is Rum !! l.. rfry
My Cruelty to my Relatives. 8 p,
| had an aunt coming to visit me for the
first time since my marriage, and don't
know what evil genius prompted the wicked
ness U acknowledge with tears in my eyes
that it was such) which / perpetrated towards
my wife and my ancient relative 2,b1 a.H
Y Dear said to my wife, on the day be-
fore my aunt's arrival, you know aunt
Mary is coming tomorrow well, I forgot to
mention rather annoying circumstance with
regard to her; she's very deaf; and although
she can hear my voice, to which she is accus-
toned, in its ordinary tones, yet you will be
obliged to speak extremely loud in order to
be heard. 1t will be rather inconvenicnt,
but know you will do every thing in your
power to make her stay agreeable" u0A|
Mrs. S. announced her determination to
make herself heard, if possible. 81 a2rfrtT
then went to John p, who loved a
joke about as well as any person know of.
told him to be at my house at six p M, the
following evening, and felt comparatively
happy. h9T EF1 }a'il3i it.sa 5'S.f
went to the railroad depot next evening
with carriage, and when was on my way
home with my aunt, | said: " 857tf5 5'.E.7
My dear Aunt, there is one rather an
noying infirmity that Anne has, which for
got to mention before. She's very deaf; and
she is accustomed, in its ordinary tones, yet
a.
in order to be heard. Pm sorry for it. ~ ~
Aunt Mary, in the goodness Of her heart,
protested that she rather liked speaking loud !;
and to do so would afford her great pleasure.
The carriage drove UPON the steps was
wifc-in the window was John p, with
face as utterly solemn as if he had buried
all his relatives that afternoon. ' T'.
handed out my aunt--she assembled the
steps. a4- '..5 3l' '.i''' .''fF
al am delighted to see you," shricked my
wife, and the policeman on the opposite side
walk started, and my aunt nearly fell down
the stoOp. aiUtl feEfE ss.l 90 ge HfHr.
q" Kiss me, my DEAR" howled my aunt !;
and the hall lamp clattered, and the windows
shook as with the fever and ague. l looked
at the window--John had disappeared
Human nature could stand it no longer.
poked my head into the carriage, and went
into strong convulsions yE8 aEt W. i"
| When entered the parlor, my wife was
helping aunt Mary to take off her hat and
cape; and there sat John with his face of
woe. r t gaGaH t##@@ 'mH
Suddenly, {" Did you have pleasant jour-
ney." went off my wife like a pistol, and
John T, rather jumped to his feet.
Rather dusty" was the response in a war
whoop, and so the conversation continued.
The ncighbors for blocks around must
have heard it; when was in the third story
of the building heard every word plainly.
In the course Of the evening my aunt took
occasion to say to me: glfa.fg SIS rs
How loud your wife spas bit it
hurt her?' 4a aas,
told her all deaf persons talked loudly,
and that my wife, being used to it, was not
affected by the exertion, and that anut Mary
was getting along very nicely with her.
Presently my wife said, softly-".Alf, how
very loud your aunt talks" m
s. Yes" said /, !" ali deaf D rsons do.-
You're getting along with her nicely she
hears every word you say" And rather
think she did, ar hHf.. f5e
Elated at their success at being understood,
they went at it hammer and tongs, till
everything on the mantlepiece clattcred again,
and was seriously afraid of q crowd collect
ing in front of the house. a~
But the end was near Ny aunt, being of
an investigating turn of mind, was desirous
of finding out whether the excrtion of talking
so loud was not injurious to my wife,
Doesn't talking so loud strain your
lungs?" said she, in an unearthly hoot, for
her voice was not as musical as it was when
she was young. a 81 f
at is an excrtion,' shricked my wife.
"Then why do you do it ~ was the an
swering scream. BE- @ ag 4 s5
Bccausc-becausc-you can't hear If
don't" squealcd my wife. t}e
What?" said my aunt, fairly rivaling a
railroad whistle this time. otE9 .e
began to think it time to cvacuate the
premises, and looking around and not seeing
John, stepped into the back parlor, and
there he lay, fiat on his. back, with his feet
at right angle to his body, rolling from side
to side, with his fists pokcd into his ribs, and
most agonized expression Of countenancc,
but not uttering sound. Immediately
and involuntarily assumed a similar attitude,
and think that, from the relative position Of
our boots and heads, and our attempts to re-
strain our laughter, apoplcxy must inevita-
bly, have ensued, il horrible groan which
John gave vent to in his cndcavor to repress
his risibility, had not betrayed our hiding
place. l'9a 'ta'i '.si'..
In rushed my aunt and wife, who, by this
time. comprehended the joke, and such
scolding as then got, never got before, and
hope never to get again.
know not what the end would have been.
If John, in his endeavors to appear respectful
and sympathetic, had not given vent to such
diabolical noise, something between q groan
and a horse laugh, that all gravity was upset.
and we screamed in concert
yoY.-True joy is serene and sober mo-
tioH, and they are miserably out that take
laughing for rejoicing; the seat Of is within,
and there is no cheerfulness like resolutions
of q brave mind that has fortune under his feet
The motto of democracy should henceforth
be I: " United, We split divided, we quit"