davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1860-04-03
Swapping Horses,

Old Ben Gray was an old topper, and Old Bal
was bis favorite horse. Now Old Ball was Ia
famous good riding horse, and the eye of every
Jockey in the neighborhood had been attracte
by his fine points but old Ben knew the value
of Old Ball too well to part with him. When
he was top-heavy what horse could carry him
so steadily as Old Ball; or, when entirely over
weighted, would so carefully select soft, sandy
spot for the rider to fall on and then SO patient
ly wait until sleep brought sobriety2 So the
efforts of the jockeys to swap or trade him out
of Old Ball had been in vain. But one day Old
Ball failed to select spot free of stones for Old
Ben to drop on, or became impatient for his feed
and left, or in some other way angered bis own
er, who straightway swaPped with bis neighbor
Jones, receiving as tsboot," "mint DROP of the
Benton stamp and the largest denomination
But before the day was over Old Ben sorely re-
pented himself of his trade. Besides being
''chiseIed" absolutely in the trade, how could he
get on without Old Ball9 But Gray knew
Jones, and he knew Jones knew Old Ball and
he further knew that there was no chance OF
getting Old Ball back unless he played his game
| smghty silky" NJ s..,ssasg ,.ss
Old Ben muttered his plan, and then mounted
bis "Jones hos, and timed his departure from
the court green 80 to pass Jones just as he was
unhitching Old Ball from the tree to which be
had been tied during the day. Refining in his
horse, he drawled out. sas 4s#sg
"Oh, Mr.. Jones, this morning when l was 9
tradin' Old Ball to you, reckon was little
drunk, and didn't tell you of one of Old Balls
tricks NowI don't want nybody hurt by
anything have done; and now just want to
tell yon eff ever you come to river and Old
Ball takes a notion to lie down in the water,
just you get right off, for Old Balls gwine to
do it certaiaa." e. ea sgs
Jones, of course, declared himself cheated in
the trade, and claimed draw backs for damages.
But Old Ben said he only warranted Old Ball
sound, san' Old Ball is jes' as sound as Mexi-
can dollar, an jes you break him of that little
trick, an he's jes' as good as any mans hos"
Finally, after jones' proposal to "rue'' had
been rejected by Gray, new swap was agreed
on, the Jones hos for Old Ball even, Gray re-
tanning the <. a gE III vjss
Accordingly, brides and saddles were chang
ed, and each man mounted his own horse, when
Old Ben gave Jones another piece of information
about Old Ball. sg asa sal sai... Sc
"Mr. JONES'" said he, 'sthere's jes' one other
thing about this hos I'd like to tell you: as long
as I've been riding Old Ball he neuer get did
take that nOtion9 So 49, SIT
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1860-04-03

slf you marry" said Roman Consul to his
son, ''let it be woman who has judgment and
industry enough to cook meal of victuals for
you; taste enough to dress neatly pride enough
to wash before breakfast, and sense enough to
hold her tongue"
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1860-04-03

VERY.-An apparently unsophisticated youth
went into one of our saloons a few days ago and
asked for something to appease his hunger
The keeper gave him very good dinner, after
which the youth said: q
"lf you ever come up our way, call"
"That won't do; your dinner is quarter"
2 'sOh hain't got any money, but if you ever
come up to Aleganey county, I'll give you bet
ter dinner for nothing" esf
y "Why,'' said the keeper, ''you are very cool
Why, yes, I'm q cool chap, so much go that
my mother makes me stand in the pantry during
the hot weather, to keep the meat from spoiling'
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1860-04-03

A SINGULAR CLAUsE.-The will of Governor
Blatchett, of Plymouth, Massachusetts, proved
in 1854 contains the following singular clause
II desire my body to be kept so long as it
may not be offensive, and that one of my toes or
fingers may be cut off to secure certainty of
being dead. l further request my dear wife,
that as she has been troubled with one old fool,
she will not think of marrying second"
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1860-04-03

An idle man once asked q coal merchant what
a peck Of coal multiplied by eight, divided by
four, with ton added to them, and bushel
subtracted would come to. SWELL" said the
coal merchant, "if you burn 'em, they'll come to
ashps -
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1860-04-03

Theodore Hook was walking in the days of
Warren's backing, where one of the emissaries
of that shining character had written on the
wall, s'Try Warren's B" but had been
frightened from his propriety and fed. "The
rest is lacking" said the w.t.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1860-04-03

The idea that plodder in one business will
be leading character in another, is all CANNON
Droves Of men are like droves of cattle; the lead
ing OK of to-day will be the leading OK during
the whole of the journey-while the cattle that
lag along in the rear at the start, remain in the
rear to all eternity. 05
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1860-04-03
DIAPER HANGlNGS

DIAPER HANGlNGS.-I have just received
= from one Of the largest manufactures of Paper
samples of the latest styles of Wall Paper. Per-
sons wishing to procure handsome paperlng at rea-
sonable prices invited to call and examine my
from the Manufactures; getting it here in few days
by express; selling in this way by the sample. a.
void the necessity of keeping large stock hand;
and, consequently, will be able to sell for small pro-
fts-more particularly, to cash customers.
Stauntor, Feb. %. r. COWAN. q
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1860-04-03

BEFORE AND AITER.-A henpecked husband
writes. Before marriage l fancied welded
life would be all sunshine; but afterwards
found out that it was all moonshine."
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1860-04-03

An Englishman, full as a nut of the English
phlegm of an Englisman, was travelling on GER
tain railroad, when a sudden halt and loud re-
port informed the passengers that some accident
had happened. Every one rushed out, of course,
to see what was the matter, except Mr.. Phlegm,
who sat TRANQUILITY, if not at all interested in
anything beyond the halo of his own thoughts.
Presently a person came up and informed him
that the engine had burst its boiler.
"Awe!"
Then came another saying that there were fif-
teen persons killed.
"Awe!" 0 ss
But finally the third messenger rushed up in
great haste and said:
my dear sir, your valet has been blown into
q hundred pieces!" %
"AweE Just bring me the piece that contains
the key to nsy portasanteau! 4"
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1860-04-03

On a tombstone in a ohurch-yard in Ulster
England, is the following epitaph Erected to
the memory of John Phillips, accidentally shot
as mark of affection by his brother"
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1860-04-03

A young man visiting a prison in Maine, in.
CURED of some of the prisoners the cause of their
being in such "a place. At last he asked a small
girl the cause of her being in prison. Her an
swer was shat she stole saw-mill, and went
back after the pond and was arrested" The
young man left, Immediately.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1860-04-03
QUERY FOR LAWYERS

QUERY FOR LAWYFRs.-
If in a shindy or a rout
John Doe, should tear piece from out
Jack Roe's unmentionables.
Query-in such case as this,
What course should each pursue?
Should Jack, John sue
For breach of the peace,
Or for piece of the breechess
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1860-04-03

The best dowry to advance the marriage of q
young lady, Is when she has in her countenance
mildness, in her speech wisdom, in her behavior
modesty, in her life virtue. 80
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1860-04-03

The DUFERENoE-The Blandon (Miss.) Re
publican fairly hits the insincerity of the Dem
ocracy touching the Slavery question, in the fol
lowing rough but lively epigram
John Sherman, to prove you're bad,
't9 But one remark sufices- 294 sc s.
You endorsed Helpers Book 1 9 - +.
Called "The Impending Crisis -
John Letcher, you once endorsed
Rufner's abolition opinions s A
But you were Democrat John, ss,l sszf
And now Gov'nor of the Old Dominion i
q John Sherman's devil John Letcher's saint
John Letcher's Democrat. ss1ohn Sherman asnt.)
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1860-04-03
For the Spectator.

Nf|CNeeeeOfs
Messrs. Editors ~ our valuable paper comes
regularly, and for the last 60 days almost every
number contains some enquiry of the candidates
for the office of Sheriff whether they will ''pay
over all monies coming into their hands without
equivocation or delay" or whether ''the present
High Sheriff or any of his deputies will be en-
ployed by him in the event he is successful.''-
We had been hoping aud believing that the pres
ent officer and his deputies were managing the
business to the satisfaction of those concerned;
but judging from the tone of the numerous calls
on the candidates to announce themselves for the
office, and the interrogatories propounded to
those who are candidates, we have come to the
conclusion that the Sheriff is inefficient and that
his deputies (the Jalor inclnded) ere not worthy
to be continued, the ready response of the can
.didates sanctioning the idea. Will some one
who is aggrieved, if there be any, come out and
inform tie people of the mafeisance or misfei
sance of the principal or any of his deputies2-
Let an issue be made make the charge directly;
give them an opportunity to rid themselves of
the suspicion cast on them. They are honora-
BILE men. we believe, and the man who stabs an
official in the dark, or skulks behind an anony-
nous name to insinuate a calumny is unworthy
the name of a gentleman. We want to be in
formed on the subject, and to act accordingly.
ift3iats ~l.4 st4 WAYNFsBORO
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1860-04-03
DIR UGS AND MEDICINES.
p. TT. TROUT 81 co

A RE now receiving large stock of Drugs
IA Medicines, Paints, Oils, &C., which
they bought direct from the manufacturers and ~
favorable terms. Their stock of SURGICAL IN
STRUMENTS is very large, embracing all instrr
ments needed for town or county practice. Also th
largest supply of FANCY Articles Brushes, Fin
Perfumery, &C., ever brought to this market.
Staunton March 6, 1860
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1860-04-03

My German friend, how long have you been
married9 Vel, dis is a ting vat seldom dont
like to talk about, but ven / does it seems SC
long as it never vas. ~
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1860-04-03

How TO TELL Coop FLoUR.-First, look at the
color; if it is white with slightly yelIowish or
Sstraw-colored tint, buy it. If it is very white,
fuse it.. Second, examine its adhesiveness wet
and knead little of it between your fingers; if
it works soft and is sticky, it Is poor. Flour
from spring wheat islikey to be sticky. Third,
throw lump of dry -four against dry, smooth,
perpendicular surface if it falls like powder it
is bad. Fourth, squeeze some of the -four. in
your hand if it retains the shape givenby the
pressure, that too is good sign. Flour that
will stand all these tests is safe to buy. These
modes are given by old -four dealers, and we
make no apology for printing them, as they per-
tain to matter that concerns everybody, name
ly, the quality of the staff of lite. ''ffd
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1860-04-03
DE FORREST, ARMSTONG, & co.
DRY GOODS MERCHANTS
80 q 81 Chambers ST., Ny,

80 q 81 Chambefs St., N. T.,
vETould notify the Trade that they are opening
wv weekly, in new and beautiful patterns. the
WamsuttG Prints, also the Anaoskeag, a New Print,
which excels every Print in the Country for perfec
ton of execution and design in full Madder Coors.
Our Prints cheaper than any in Market and meet
ing with extensive sale. Orders promptly attended
to.
Jan 81 1SeO-1y
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1860-04-03

QUEER FEMALE CUsToMs.-A New York cor
respondent, in referring to some queer customs
among the ladies of the metropolis, speaks OF the
almost universal habit of chewing gum, and
adds: Another custom is the chewing of a
small aromatic seed called the caromel: If is
quite costly, bringing the round sum of So per
pound. The ladies have their pockets full. and
use it inordinately. 1t has a pungent. biting
taste, not unlike a modified or subdued pepper
The use of lavender is also quite common. as la
dies say it adds to the brilliancy of the eyes-if
not to glibness of the tongue. Arsenic is psed
to make the complexion more brilliant. Ether
is not wholly excluded from the arsenal of those
who resolve to defend themselves against the
assaults OF time; and painting is quite as COM
mon as dressing the hair.' 'll]
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1860-04-03

ORINoLINE AND AMMoN1A-At a scientific
meeting in Edinburgh, a crinoline dress has been
exhibited, oDe-half of which had been immersed
In solution of sulphate of ammonia, in order to
test its non -combustbility. On light having
been applied to the crinoine the part Of it which
had not been steepedfin the solution was at once
enveoped in fiames but the only effect which the
light had on the other part was to char it. This
was considered satisfactory experiment, and it
was stated that as ammonia was onlv 36 nas :.
pound, it was accessible to the humblest class
1t was stated that the crinolne used in the val
establishment, was STEPPED in totally different
solution, but that lis cost prevented its oenaral
use, and that the cheaper solution was eonsliv
efficacious f1Any
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1860-04-03
MAGNUS s. CEASE

VXTOULD respectfully call the attention of the cit
w izens of Staunton and vicinity to his large anG
en- fely new STOCK ol FAmL GooDS; % wncn ne rs now
Soda Crackers, Pcnlcs, Raisns. Figs, Currants, Cit
ron, Dates, Prunes, English Walnuts Filberts. AL
monds, Ground Nuts, Pecan Nuts, Lemons, Oranges
Sardines, and Candies of every description
Also FANCY GooDs, FRENCH CANDIES, CAKES AMI
Tors.
- Wedding parties furnished at the shortest no
tice, and on the most reasonable terms.
Also Fresh Peaches, Lobsters, Pickles, Catchups
&C., &C.. ~
He will sell reasonable terms, and respectfully
solicits share of patronage.
- Candy sold at Wholesale and Retail.
Stauntnn. Nov 8. 1R54
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1860-04-03

DR. JAMES JOHNSTON, SURGICAL Il
~ MECHANICAL DENTIST, having heen located
permanently in Staunton for the last four years. would
respectfully inform his friends and the public
rally that he still continues to practice Dentistry in all
its various branches with the srictest regard to du
rability and usefulness. sgE<sl5sssE i ,lgsrFst IS
Office on the south-side of Main Street opposite the
old Spectator Office
Staunton, Nov. 29, 1854.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1860-04-03
TERMS.

- III" s"SPECTAT T0R'' IS published once a soeek
ut T,Oo Dollars and fifty Cents year, subich may be
discharged By the payment of Tco Dollars at a,sy time
tjm the year. 40 subscription soigl be discontinued
but at The option the Editors until atlarrearoges
paid
AD DVERTLSEMENTSo of ten lines (or tess inserted
three times for one dollar and tsoenty cents each
Larger inserted
IN the same proportion.
liberal made to those aOho adOeise By the
year. Er
Professional Cards. not erceedimg lines sOals be
inserted for gear for S. O0-6 months for So co.
Onesquare, (teaa5ines) ...1 .$s 90
..............6 % months. % w
............5 ............. 20 w
IaO0 squares Il gear IL 90
Z" .............6 6 months. ..............80 8 90
4" .............3 .............. s. 90
Three squares. gear; w w
SO GO ............3 ............... q 90
One third c0Lunpp. .....1 gear. 16 90
+" '' g ........6 months. ..12 90
sc /" ........3 /" ....-.......80 90
One colunsas. gear; so 90
:" :" ..............6 ..6 months. .............3 80 90
AG Gdvertising for Jess time than three months, ,apaH
be charged for at the usuGlra 90 per square for
the first three insertions, and taOety0e cents for each
subsequent issue. ~ 81
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1860-04-03
MISCELLANEOUS.
FOR GOVERNOR,
GABRIEL HIRSH !
FOR LIEUT., GOV.
WILLIAM JONAS !

WILLIAM JON ASI
NOTWITHSTANDING G the failure of the Atlantic
IN Cable to up to the expectations OF some OF
the knowing ones of the Old and New world, yet
GABRIEL HIRSH, one of the largest stockholders
in the concern for the purpose of rater
nal feeling with ali mankind, has extended 1t as far
as the city of Staunton, where is performing some
of the greatest achievements of the age IN the way OF
exhibiting at his old stand on Main Street, the
largest and most complete STOCK OF GOODS ever
brought to this market. The greatest wonder, how
ever even SURPRISING the operations OF the Cable
the CHINESE JUGGLERS," on exhibition at his
window, where the prettest in the country is al
ways to be found engaged in Repairing Watches
and Jewery..sa f4 49,
~ The "a 200 offered some time since. is stillin
the hands irresponsible gentleman in Staunton ready
to be handed to any one who will bring forward
a superior workman in his line. G.. HIRSH.
Stsuunton, Oct. 10, 1858-tf aae
CONFECTIONERY ESTABLISHMENT!
-a CHOICE VARIETIES $3.50
FOR THE SEASON AT THE STAND
FORMERLY OCCUPIED BIZ W
VIM. r. MOUNT, Main ST., Staunton. Va
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1860-04-03

ssrI,HE BELLE OF THE sOUTH!,,-six
i doz. Skeleton Skirts, of all makes as follows :
'sThomson's," s'Sherwoods." s'Moran's," and the
Belle of the South which is considered the most
graceful skirt now in use.
The above Skirts have just been received and will
be sold as low as possible.
PIPER FUNKHOUSER.
Staunton, Mar 6, 1S6O.-Vin copy
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1860-04-03

DLUSH A ND VELVET VESTINGS.-lO
i patterns elegant Plush and velvet Vestings and
10 patterns fine Fresh Silk Mixed Cassimeres.
just received at d. A. KAYSER'S.
Staunton, Nov. %.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1860-04-03

| TUST RECEIyED.-Aver very fin. .@A@
e lot of all kinds Of Speetacles- -pla- SS
ted, steel and god-and all kinds of Spectacle Glas-
ses, concave convex and colored.
StauntOn, JAN 3l-tf A LANG
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1860-04-03

| NIRGINlA CASSIMERES.-We have Just
| received large supply of Virginia Cassimeres,
made IN Culpeper county, suitable for Gents Spring
! Suits. Call and see them. TAYLOR IL HOGE =
Staunton March 49, 1860. ig ,Ga Fa4
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1860-04-03

WHEAT WANTED.-The Staunton Steam
wv Mills Co. will pay the highest prices in Cash
for Wheat. Farmers wishing to dispose of their
crops will probably consult their interests by bring
ing samples to s. A. RICHARDSON, Sup't.
\ Nov Is. 1859 -.
New-York daily tribune. [volume] (New-York [N.Y.]) 1842-1866, 1860-10-29
THE COUNTY JUDICIARY TICKET.

Our Republican friends have not forgotten how
Opdyke lost his election because it was said and
believed by weak. kneed vOters, " the battle was
between Hayemeycr and Wood" The same
game is now being played in relation to the Offices
of Superior Court Judge and Recorder Many
Republicans are being approached through the
medium of ticket which, professediy originating
with the Bar is supported by The San, Times, and
World as a ticket Of expediency. This ticket sur
renders to the Democracy the two Offices above
named (Which are perfectly sure for the RePubli'
cans unless they desert their siandard in favor Of
the City Judge and Supreme Court Judge, where
the chances of success are more pfecarlOns even
on combination. 1t aims to run UlshOefier against
White and Hoffman against Van Buren,. Ia it not
the most impudeDt of all the Cotton assumptions
for the Democracy 10 cay, "Our own Judiciary
o. ticket as a whole is an unfit and dsgraceful one
1" therefore we call upon Republicans" (whose
ticket in ererg pant is unexceptioDabe, whether
character or experience be regarded) " to help us
" defeat our bad men BY also defeating their good
.'men ?" If Republicans will CURLY answer,
"Strike off uour bad men and putoD our good men
The uLOie republican tiehct rcH be chosen. but leu
no Republican vote for good Democrat when his
own nominee is free from every objection. III
aught could be said against Messrs. White, Bonney'
Van BureU, sedgwiek and Jaques, then the com
promise ticket ought to have hearing; and so IL
should if Mr.. UlshOeiIer were better than Dir.
White, or Mr.. Holman better than DIR. Van
Buren,. The contest for Superior Court Judge is
not between UlshoeiIer and White but between the
latter aud Taiinadee, for whose pliAbity the Dem
New-York daily tribune. [volume] (New-York [N.Y.]) 1842-1866, 1860-10-29
HOW IP WORKS.

ANeW-YOrk merchant informs us that he met on
Friday and Saturday three solid business men of
our City who had just made up their minds to vote
for Lincoln. One of them said, 81 have always
" been Democrat, but l am before all things a
"Union man, and cannot countenance any party
&" that seeks to win an election by threatening Dis
Hunion." Another said: 1T is clear that Lin
coin is to be elected, and the only question to be
| " settled is, Shall his election be respected and
-" obey ed as ectons have hitherto been or shall
there be serious attempt to break up the
'UnOn!' i shall vote for Lincoln merely to en-
"phasize the determination of the American Peo-
"pe to maintain the Union at all hazards. 1 shall
"vote for him to give due notice that all schemes
"of Disunion must fall" The third said: eve
"caInOt stand three months more of political
"panic making in order 70 affect the Presidential
Election: We must settle the question now,
cor business will be wholly arrested To
throw the election into the House, where no one
has a majority may not break up the Govern
" ment; but il will certainly prOtract the present
" anarchy and uncertainty until March next. /
cannot stand this; and shall vote to close the
" contest at once."-These three instances Oc-
Cured within the limited observation of a single
merchant; there are doubtless hundreds like them,
and probably thousands. Unless we are grossly
deceived, the late political panic wantOnly pro-
duced for partisan and stOckjobbing purposes has
added largely to LincOlns vote. Judicious TRENDS
now say that Lincoln will have nearly or quite
40, 600 in our City.
! We trust the engineers will not be discouraged,
h 1t 90 ahead. If they have done their worst with
the Stock Market, let them follow the lead of their
H,ralo and get up run on the Banks. That VIII
bring nea'y every one who has anything 10 lose to
tbe corcusio,o that, though the Union can stand
three months m1re of political panic making, B1ti-
ness cannot; and that every interest demands the
election of Lincoln by decisive majority.