Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1860-07-20

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to make six mile prayers" had over
persuaded a guest, much against his in
clination. to stay to breakfast. The old
man prayed and prayed, till his impa-
.tient guest began to think seriously Of
odging away quietly; but, in attempting
it, he walked up the old mans son who
was asleep in his chair
How soon will your father be
through p said the guest.
q Don't know" said the boy, has he
got to Jerusalem yet ~
No." said the other.
Wal, then, he amt half through
yet" The guest bolted.
MISERABLE SINGERS A certain divine
gave out psalm to his choirsters, who
attempted to set it to a new tune but,
having made blunder, the clergyman,
when he came to that part of the litany,
q Lord have mercy on US miserable sin
ners, in his turn made another blunder,
and read it as follows -" Lord have
mercy on our miserable singers"
= Sambo, am you posted in the natu-
raj sciences
Oh course | is sartingly.
Then can you tell me the cause of the
great blight In potatoes for the last ten
years ?
o OATS easy enough It's all owing
to the rot-tater-y motion ob.the earth.
A FAor-An evangelical old lady,
hearing her son slip out an oath on Sun
day. exclaimed, My dear, what are you
about? What do you think of the law
and the prophets y
-" What do | think of them p said he
"why | think the law pockets the profits
most Internally
TIE ScHooLMAsTER's DIFFICULTY. "A
country dominic had hundred boys and
no assistant. wonder how you man
age them" said friend, g without
help "--"s All, was the answer, g. could
manage the hundred boys well enough ;
it's the two hundred parents that trouble
me there's no managing them"
-" Don't do dat, said colored ora
tor the other day, when imploring his
Republican friends not to apply the torch
to the Union; "don't do dat, massa
Greedy, and massa Seward, and massa
Phillips, and massa Conway. Don't you
be gwine to set this country fire. Oars
a Niger in dc brush"
Put no dependence on genius. If
you have great talents, industry will i'm
prove them; if you have moderate abil-
titles, industry will supply the deficiency
Nothing is denied to well directed labor
nothing worth having is to be obtained
without it.
- Never be cast down by trihes. II
spider breaks his web twenty times
twenty times will he mend it. Make up
your mind to do thing, and you will do
it. Fear not if trouble come upon you
keep up your spirits though the day may
be dark one.
Deride not any mans deformities, but
bless God they are not yours. Men shall
answer at Gods bar for their vicious
habits, but not for their natural imper-
fections.
New situations inspire new thoughts.
Here then is the benefit of travelling,
much more than in mere sightseeing =
We lose ourselves in the streets of our
own city and 60 abroad to find ourselves.
"A negro being caught stealing from
a hen roost, excused himself BY saying,
q Dat be only came dar to see if the
chickens slept wild dar eyes OPEN"
Mr.. Jones, why do you wear thai
had hat?" " Because, my dear sir, Mrs
Jones vows she will not go out Of the
house until get a new one"
-" Warm day, jones, warm day.
said Smith, as they met lately. +" Yes
it is" said Jones, sit is some warm, il
not summer.
= Liberty will not descend to people
a people must raise themselves to liberty
it is blessing that must be earned, before
itssdn be enjoyed
- Nlgnt brings out stars, "s SViiV"
shows us truths; we never see the stars
till we can see little or naught else--and
thus it is with truth.
Why are mosquitoes the most re-
ligious Of all insects? Because they first
sing over you and then pray on you.
= So long as men are imprudent in
their diet and their business, doctors and
lawyers will ride in carriages.
Why is drummer the fastest man
in the world 2 Because time beats all
men, but the drummer beats time,
- The Chinese picture of ambition is
ga Mandarin trying e stllkA trttb y
putting salt on his tail