Holmes County farmer. [volume] (Millersburg, Ohio) 1857-1926, 1860-11-08
Melange of Good Things.
When is pugilist's eye like eide
keg? When IL is bunged mp.

When is pugilist's eye like cider
kegY When it is bunged up.
He who marries a young lady for her
fine teeth will be very likely to find him
self bitten.
jet black eyes are an attraction; Jet
black hair, ditto; but jet black finger-nails
should be strenuously avoided.
There's man down east who is SO fat
the women make all their soap from the
reflection Of his shadow.
A young man while endeavoring to
carry out plan, fell down and was SER
iously injured on projecting point of
time.
An indiscreet person is like an unseal-
ed letter, which every one may read, but
which is seldom worth reading.
A yankee says that prejudice against
color is very natural, and yet the prettiest
girl he over knew was Olive Brown.
Will you have me9 said a young man
to modest little girl. No, john said
she, but you may have me, if you will.'
The question is often discussed, wheth-
er the savages enjoy life. We suppose
they do, as they always seem anxious to
take 1t when they get chance.
A Yankee down East has such dread
ful hard name that he spois a box of pens
and quire of paper in writing his name
once.
A Bachelor being asked if be had ever
seen man commit suicide, replied: mo
not exactly suicide, but saw a man get
married once"
"WELL, Susan, what do you think of
married ladies being happyY'
why, think there are more amt than
is than is that amt
DoS'T rivet a blacksmith's attention
by ironically heating his temper with the
assertion that he will forge and steal for
fear you will get hammered and rolled ont.
What is that which, if 1 had it,
shouldn't wish to lose; If have not, do
not wish to have it; but if / gain it, no
longer have it. a lawsuit.
a young man, who has recently taken
wife says he did not find it half so hard
to get married as he did afterwards to get
the furniture.
An incorrigible wag, who lent a minis
ter horse, which ran away and threw
his clerical rider, thought he should have
some credit for his aid in spreading the
gospel"
At the reception Of the Prince of Wales
at Detroit, among the transparencies was
one by the st. Andrews's Society, thus
prettily worded. Welcome, laddie, for
your mothers sake"
Papa, know why some folks call
pistols horse pistols" "Why, my SOM"
because they kick So" MARY, put
that boy to bed; he is SO sharp he will
cut somebody"
DoS'T be in too great hurry, girls,
to fall in love with the young men. 1t
often happens that your hearts are no
sooner theirs than theirs are no longer
yours.
A person being asked why he had given
his daughter in marriage to a man with
whom he was in enmity, answered: i did
so out Of pure revenge"
PLAIN BUTTER SAucE.-Mix lump of
butter and little salt with tablespoon
ful Of -four. Pour boiling water on slow
ly, stirring it at the same time. Let it
boil mp once or twice.
A facetious boy asked one Of his play
mates how a hardware dealer differed
from shoemaker? The latter somewhat
puzzled gave it up "Why, said the
other, "because the one sold the nails,
and the other nailed the soles."
The following resolution which was
adopted at meeting of fyoung ladies, some
days since. shows the effects of leap year
upon the female character.
Resolved, That if we don't get married
this year we win have to wait till next.
A VERMONT horse jockey, boasting one
day OF his horse, gravely asserted that
when he was but three years old, the
lightning killed the old mare, and chas-
the colt all around the pastures without
getting in striking distance of him.
THE following dispatch says the Tole-
do Blade, went through by telegraph re-
Gently: Charley and Julia met at S.
yesterday-quarreled and parted forev-
again this evening and parted to
meet no more--met again this evening
and we're married. So goes the world.