Clarksville chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1857-1865, 1860-06-22
Mike Finch and the Bull

The story Of Mike Finch and the bull would make
q eynic laugh. Mike took notion TO 90 in swim
ming, and he had just got his clothes of, when he
saw Deacon Smiths bull making at hm-the bull
was a vicious animal, and had come near killing
two or three persons-consequentlyl felt rather
jubus. He didn't want TO call for help, for he was
naked and the nearest place whence he could ex-
pect assistance was tie meetin house, which was at
that time filed with worshippers, and among whom
was the gal Mike was then paying his devours to.
So he lodged the bull as the animal came at him,
and managed TO catch him by the tail. He was
dragged round till he was nearly dead, and when
he could hold no longer, he made up his mind that
he had better 'holler.' And now we will let him
tell his own story.
"So looking at the matter in all its bearings
cum to the conclusion I'd better let some one know
whar was. So I gin yell louder than locomo-
tive whistle and II wasn't long before seed the
Deacon's two dogs q coming down like as IL they
war seeing which could get thar FIRST Iknow'd
who they were arter-they'd jine the bull agin me,
was sartin, for they were orful venomous and had
spite agin me. So says l. old brndle, as ridin' Is
as cheap walkin' on this rout if you've no OBJ
jections I'll jst take deck passage that back
o yourn. So wasn't very long in getting astride
Of him, then If you'd bin thar you'd have sworn
thar warn't nothin' human in that ar mix, the sle
few so orfully the crtter and rolled round the
6eld-one dog on one side and one on the other,
tryin' TO clnch my feet. prayed and cussed, and
cussed and prayeo until couldn't tell which did
as-and neither warnt no use, they were 30 orfully
mixed up.
Well, recon rid abouthalf an hour in this way
when old brinde thought that it was time TO stop
to take in supply of wind, and cool of little. So
when he got round to a tree that stood thar, he
naturally halted. So, says l. old boy, you'll lose
one passenger sartin. So | just clum up branch
kalkeatin' TO roost thar till starved afore I'd be
rid that ar way any longer. | war maxim tracks
for the top Of the tree when heard somethin q
maxim an orful buzzin' over head. kinder look
ed up and il thar warn't-well thars no use
swearih'-but it war the biggest hornets nest ever
built. You'll gin in now, | reckon, Nike, cause
there's no help for you.-But idea struck me then
that stood heap bet;cr chance q ridn the bull
than whar was. So sez |, old feer, If you'll hold
on I'll ride to the next station anyhow, let that be
whar II will.
So jist dropped aboard him agin and looked
aloft to see what had gained by changing quart
ers, and, gentlemen, I'm liar if there warn't nigh
half bushel of the stingin varmins ready to pitch
into me when the word go was gin. Well recon
got it for all hands started for our company.
Some on EN- hit the dogs--about quart struck me
and the rest charged on brindle.
This time the dogs led Off ust dead bent for the
old deacon's and as soon as old brindle and could
get under way we followed, and as was only a
deck passenger, and had nothin to do with steern
the craft sware, If had, we shouldn't have took
that channel anyhow. But as said before, the
dogs took the lead-brindle and neIt and the
hornets quickly arter. The dogs yellin' brindle
belering; and the hornets buzzin and stingn'.
Well, we had got about two hundred yards from
the house, and the deacon heard us and cum out.
seed him turn uph;s hand and turn white. Ireconed
he was prayn then, for he didn't expect to be call
ed for 50 soon, and it warnt long neither afore the
Whole congregation-men, women and children
cum out and then all hands went to yellin'. Mono
Of them hadthe least notion that brindle and be-
longed to this world. list turned my head and
passed the hull congregation seen the run would
be up soon, for old brindle couldn't turn an inch
from fence that stood dead ahead. Well we
reached that fence and went shore over the old
critters head and landed tho other side and lay
there stunned.
1t warn't long before some of them as was not
scared, runrin' TO what war, for all hands
calculated that and the bull belonged together.
But when brindle walked of by himself they seed
how it war, and one Of 'em said Mike Finch has
got the worst of scrummage once in his life 7
Gentlemen, from that day dropped the courtn'
bizness, and never spoke to gal since and when
my hunt is up on this yearth, thero won't be any
more Finchs and it's all owing to Deacon Smiths
Brindle Bull"