Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1860-11-16
A Newspaper Story.


Some fellow-a collector for South Car
olina paper and other periodicals--lately
threw up his commission, and sent back the
unpaid accounts with "notes,' which the
spirit happened to lay hold on,and they were
presented in tangible shape to the world.
As they are living pictures, met with here
and elewhere, we make extracts. The col
lector says:
Editor Of tie Herald Of 7rmh--1Sirf-
You furnished me as you recollect with
list of one hundred and seventeen owing
subscribers. have called upon one hun
dred and four of them, and have the honor,
of paying over TO your order three dollars
and twelve and half cents, being the
amount to which you are entitled. l re-
turn you the list numbered from one to one
hundred and sixteen, and now give the re-
ply to each.
No. lis minister. He says in the
first place he never got one half of the naa-
bers, Ga lie according to the account of the
postmaster,) and in the next place your
ioker's column was too scurrlous. Besides
he knows by the tone of your editorials that
you drink. He wants nothing more tc do
with you-neyer wants to hear from you
again.
No. 2-Is in Jail for debt. He has not
seen half dollar for year. Says he
would pay with the utmost cheerfulness, if
he had the money, but had TO borrow a
shirt to put on last Sunday. Admires your
paper wonderfully, aud hopes you will con-
tinue sending it to him, He wishes you to
take bold stand in favor of the abolition
of imprisonment for debt, as he thinks it
would be very popular move with gentle
men in his situation. Sends his best re-
spects.
No. SIS young doctor. Says your
paper is beneath the notice of respecta-
BILE gentleman. Wouldn't give -
for cart load. Says you inserted an ar
ticle refecting upon the profession. Gnly
wishes he could catch you here-would
make you smell --. Is going to per-
suade everybody that takes your paper TO
stop it. Cussed your bill, and says you may
get it the best way you can.
No. 4-Is aa old maid. Says you are
always making fling at the single ladies of
an uncertain age. Wouldn't pay you if
she was rolling in wealth, and you hadn't a
crust of bread. Sent all the papers she had
back month ago, and says now she sent
them, she don't owe you anything. Says
she is even with you, and intends to keep
so until the day of judgment.
No. 5-Is a gambler. Says he got COM
pleiely cleaned out at the races. Couldn't
accommodate his grandmother with half
dime, if she were starving. Likes your pa
per tolerably- would like it better if you
published more races, and would occasion
ally give an account of cock fight. Hopes
you won't think hard of him Tor not paying
you now, bat has prospect of soon having
some loose change, as he is after a rich
young green-horn, who arrived here last
weak. Will pay your bill out of the pluck
ings.
No. els an old drunkard. Hasn't got
anything and never expects to have. Gath
cred up all the papers he had, and sold
them for half pint of rrm to the grog-
gerry keeper, to do up groceries in.
No, 7-Is magistrate Swore be new
er owed you a cent, and told me l was
low rascal for trying to sEindle him in such
bare-faced manner. Advised me TO make