The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1860-02-01
Nav the Lord have mercy


Well gentlemen, Act the Third. I
contend thatsthey are perfect acts, though
they have but scene apiece. -.-.E - -
A young man with parcel calls at two
O'Clock, precisely, that afternoon, at Mr..
Filey's, and asks to see Sir Sampson
Spriggs. sa-s ~f'l
Her ladyships is within says the
page. .N.s..s. s,s.s ss,e,z si--z - za
The young man says, she willsdo. He
is ushered into room where he sees the
lady. '''7 " ~ s-.+7
Do you smell rat, gentlemen?
Well, the lady affably took the parcel
from the young man, and said, '
4 will take it to show my husband up
stairs. He will be with you in Eve min
utes, and hand you the cheque. You will
excuse me? 1 must first satisfy him of the
necessity have for the articles '.~-a'
, Of course, the poor fellow thought that
all was fair and straightforward. Ha!
ha! He said, he would be happy to wait.
Fla! ha! He took o chair. Ha! ,ha! ha!
But it's really too bad to laugh Well
he waited. The minute hands. of the
clock went round He waited ou. Be-
fore he had time to feel uncomfortable in
his mind, the door opened, and gentle
man walked in who bowed to him, and
made his mind quite easy a.
i brought tie things said the young
man; and I'm waiting
To see me- said Mr. Flley, admiring
the stratagem of the lady immensely.
ITO see me. Yes. Pm aware. A beau
tiful day to day, sir? Rather sultry.
May I offer you glass of wine?' T.,
Of course the young man didn't object.
Hal ha! You know how they used to
prepare victims for the sacrifice! Ha! ha!
Well. They talked. Mr.. Filey said:
pray take a chair, may I ask youN
and the young fellow, warmed by his wine,
was quite agreeable to anything.
= Will you open your mouth, may 1
ask?' said Mr.. Filey.
What for?' says the young fellow,
amazed.
Z oh, nothing!' says Mr.. Filey. 4
merely wished to inspect. The conforma-
ton Of your tongue struck me as peculiar
Not that it affects your speech, sir. Not
at all. But pray allow me- ..-u So
The poor young fellow opened his
mouth Ha! ha! He opened his mouth,
aud gaped.
Now draw back your tongue said Mr..
Filey. t1s
No doubt the young fellow thought
him very eccentric baronet, but he com
piled. f....>', ..s...
. In q minute one of his grinders was
seized-caught in vice, wrenched, twist
ed. pulled. Heaven spare us all the hor-
rible agony 1 cam. laugh any more.
The grinder came out at last, in the
midst of stiaed screams, and I'm afraid,
curses. 1t came out, an d the young man
was guilty of an assault on the body OF
the dexterous operator. Mr.. Filey went
down. .a 81.
where's the lady? Where's Sir Samp-
son Spriggs?' roars the young man, with
his hand on his mouth. =
MY dear SIR says Mr.. Filey, you
really you may be eccentric; but when
one is doing you good, sir-doing you
service a.a
Service splntters the wretched young
fellow. Service to pull out tooth when
I didn't ask you'll
ASK me, sir. says Mr.. Filey. When
I tell you it has been arranged by your
estimable aunt, Lady Spriggs, and that il
was paid for yesterday
Paid for yesterday bawls the victim
starting back.
This tooth, sir, was paid for yesterday,
says Mr.. Filey, impressively.
Lady Spriggs--my auntS' exclaimed
the confounded youth. .,
Come, sir, says Mr.. Filey. 4 thinE
whatever your objection to part with it
you owe me an apology. I will not say
in due form. I expected caprice. But
really such vielencel'
The young man deliberately asked fol
Sir Sampson Spriggs, or the parcel o
jewels which he had brought half an hour
ago from the shop of Messrs. Spitchcocs
and Co., whose servant he distinctly claim
ed himself to be-. a.1
Bless mel cried Mr.. Filey, is there
some mistakel Have I really?-on my
honor, T.
If you will go up to Sir Sampson
Spriggs, and get that parcel of jewelry
immedtstely--' said the young man.
Mr. Filey started.
4 won't prosecute you.' the young mar
added, washing his mouth out with water
'You are not the nephew of Sir Sam2
son?' said Mr.. Filey.
Don't laugh at chap, after wha
you've done to him. growled the young
man. .5 81
There's a mistake said Mr.. Filey
Sir Sampson is not here. 1t was an in
nocent stratagem.' 5r eta.
Innocent snee.s the young man.
TO get you to. submit to the operation
by Lady Spriggs.' r'seg
80 will you ring for her, or nct?'s erie
tie nolonger uEsuspicious youth.
The belly rung. The ready pag
| informed them that Lady Spriggs had lef