The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1860-11-14
SG(lisfellanp,
~
How Blynks Won the Water
melons.

4
in Davidson conntys is that of Mr.
49,; well, for the sake of argument,
and to keep from hurting feelings
we'll call him Mr. ThiBgumbob. Mr..
Thingnmbob didn't embark in that
branch Of horticulture to which water
melons belong, merely for the fun OF
the thing. He went into it to make
money, and has done it. If Mr..
Thingumbob has a weakness for any
thing in the world, it is for that spe-
cies Of pocket furniture which the
preachers piously denounce as the vile
dross of earth, and the b'hoys style
'spondulicks,' and 'spizzerinctum -
IF Mr. Thingumbob were to suffer a
watermelon of the market value of
fifteen cents to fall from his cart and
wreck itself against the pavement he
wouldn't get done feeling bad about
the loss within the ensuing six weeks.
In short Mr. Thingumbob is the stin-
giest man you ever saw, and if he ever
dies, of a broken heart, it will be over
the loss Of shilling You have often
seen such men, haven't you?
Last Saturday Mr.. Thingnmbob
brought load of watermelons to
town. AS we gazed into the cart
where they reposed in sulIen granduer
upon their pallet Of straw we remark
ed to considerable number Of specta-
tors, and to the community at large
that they are indeed very fine, "a
remark which, we were proud to see
elected the cordial though silent ap-
probation Of everybody within the
sound Of our voice. We hadn't more
than finished the observation, when up
comes Blynks and says to Thingnm-
bob {:
Stranger these melons Of yours
are perfect whales I'D like to swindle
you out of them"
Well" said Thingumbob, "if yon
can swindle me out of one of them,
you're welcome to it.
ooh / was merely jokeing about
that" said Blynks, but really, | am
very fond of watermelons, and can
probably eat more Of them than any
six men you ever saw it's astonishing
what a quantity il takes to do me-.
How many of those large ones of yours
do you suppose now ! could eat?s
Why" said Thingumbob, measur-
ing the size Of Blynks' mouth, with
his eyes, and casting them down till
they rested at a point near the lower
extremity Of his vest, i don't suppose
from your looks that you could cat
more than one.
zone why, great goodness, stran-
ger, what are you talking about ?
I'll tell You what I'll do--if yon fur
nish me six Of the best you've got,
and if don't eat them every one, III
make you a present Of the finest hat in
town"
Thingumbob looked at Blynks with
both eyes wide open then took off
his hat aud looked at that, and then
clapping it on his head and pressing
it down firmly exclaimed with more
energy than piety
"If I don't do it d-n me p
All right" said Blynks, fhand
out your half dozen
Thingumbob began to hand out the
perfect whales, one by one, while
Blynks laid them down on the pave
ment with their ends against the. curb
stone.
Hold on exclaimed Thingumbob
as he rested the last one on the wagon
bed, readyto be lifted of, suppose you
eat 'em all up whose to pay for 'em ~
Nobody, Of course" answered
|
Blynks, in that case you lose but if
i should fail to eat them, then I lose,
and I'm to give you ten dollar hat.
go ahead,o said Thingumbob,
handing down the sikh and last mel
on.