Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1860-09-15
From the Adams County Independent
The way the Delegate Walked to Con-
VeotlCn Horseback.

! from the Adams County Independent
| The way the Delegate Walked to Con-
| VeotlCO Horseback.
! From Point Bluff to Lyndon station,
it is i've niles. It SO fell out that We
journeyed thence, afoot, on our way to
La Crosse. Went to Point BluE with
| Bill Crosby and load Of other chris
tlans, and then partook of the hospital
tiles of Mr. Bonnell, at the ferry for
which we returned thanks, and invited
the Bonne!l family to come to our house;
and then were ferried over the turbu-
lent waters Of the old Wiscons., and
directed by the efficient and gentle
manly" ferryman, where 20 turn, where
to Keep straight ahead, and where to
! go the brld &c over, and turn the hill
/ up. " trudsed, stubbed, pegged and
| plodded along, two miles; come to the
Lcmonweir bridge, went it over, and
near the fork o the road, found mare
grazing. Concluded walking was un-
constitutional; said to the mare, rub
| bing our hands to Ee",-kioh! k,ioh .!
kJoh - want some salt? The mare
was tractabIe. Thought how we used
TO guide the colts ia Deacon Chandler's
/ paSture,- have . long, slim, sleek,
smooth stick, and when we wanted to
| gee" would punchify the colts head
over the left eye, and by the same to-
ken, when twas "haw" we wanted,
the right check OF the colt was thump-
iiied. Wondered if 'twouid be called
hoss-stcaling if We, being tired and a
respectable delegate, should catci!ity
the mare and cause her to carry us q
mile Of the three between us and Lyn-
don; thought we'd perhaps better bor-
row the mare; didn't know whose mare
! She was, so We sang:
wilt thou lend me thy mare, to go mile ~
Imagined we heard somebody holler
"Yawn "Nuf ccd," said we; and
proceeded to jack-knife yard-stick
about p feet long. Stuck the stick
down trousers-leg and up under jacket,
SO as no: to scarify the mare; then
.rent up as before, rubbing hands st
be. and telling her "Kjoh! kJoh,
kjoh! ~ and such-like hoss talk. She
was a rery trsctable mare, and snufFed
and said "salt" in language so plain
that any delegate might understand it.
! We took the mare by the rnauc, and
leapcd onto her back quicker than So
daWater; drew the stick, and essayed
! to guide the mare as We used to guide
the colts Ill the PASTURE Mare seemed
! 70 resent he manner in which she had
been taken III, and commenced to run
like racer. Tried to guide he; she
wouldn't be gui,led--more We DnncIii-
fled her lett eye to make her take the
right road, the more she waxed vixen
lSh and hawed square off into the wroDg
road. She was a Gerry yiXenish mare
we bad 10 idea she could rem 50. If
Jack Turner had been there, be'd have
seen long haired country editor wish
ing he'd kept OUT 1t beats the devil
how that eccentric mare did run! We
didn't dare to slide off, because, vou
see, such hippodrome maneuver might
entail broken head Or neck or thing:
didn't want to g. crawling on hands
and kuccs into some veoman's hatch
and confess we'd stolen boss and bro
Ken our neck IN the scrape. Mare
! ',iiewcd and tieWed and Aewed,n faster
than Tam O,Shanter's ever did; she
was q very eccentric mare; she would
ut Keep the road. neither; went switch
ing round under oak-trecs and such-like
head bumpers. We thought Of Absa-
ioin, how he got ierkcd up by the head
| by having his baiky mule chuck his
neck in the crotch Of an oak limb ana
leave him hanging up to dry. Wor-
dered if we shouldn't, meet with same
calamity, and then have Bill Spain
come along and find us dangling, and
play the part OF Joab by goading our
side with a prick. Then thought Of
Mazeppa, and while the mare ran like
| lightning, wondered whether she or we
should die first. Thought of John Gil
pin; thought Of the soldier who caught
a Tartar; thought Of the old picture of
the fiery steed shaking military man
by one foot hanging in a stirrup tho't
OF the way our mustang tipped Us over
bis head into the Sheriff. waron-wheel;
thought OF home; Of Hanchctt's chan
ces for the nomination; and then drew
vivid picture Of a Shanghai Chandler
aII mashed to jelly, pretty dead, with
! torn clo'cs, fooled out of his vote in the
I Congressional Convention. Thought
how Col. Atwood would probably an-
uounce to the Convention that s'thc tail
end Of this Co'nmlttee, the delegate
from Adams county, ha: met with an
untimely squash, and l move, that his
colleague, james Miner, be allowed to
cast his vote!" Carried, unanimous
ly 1t beats all how We were taken
in by the scanlpering powers of that
vlSenisE mare; she streakcd it terri.
] hIy n;S,pt mo ol,nr~ 80 l,y ,,o,,,