The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1860-09-14
Yittlt-or- or-Aathinos.

"SfeIn" PUNISHMENT. In recent Sermon
upon the training of children, Henry Ward
Beecher gave the following "Ae,n" advice to
parents Never strike child on the head.
Providence has supplied other and more ap-
propriate places of punishment.
A student went into book store and in
quired of the proprietor If he had any pock-
ct testaments in Greek. "In Greek 81 ech-
oed our good friend, hesitatingly,- Il believe
not, sir but | have a lot of elegant ones in
Morocco"
A distinguished foreigner who is stopping
at one of the Boston hotels, found some boil
ed Indian corn on the table one day at din
aer dish to which he was not accu stoned
Following examples set around him lie ate
off the corn, and liking it very much, he
passed the cob to the waiter and asked tc
have some more corn put Oh it. The waiter
was waggiSh, and he took it and returned a
fresh ear, SO traveller knew hc lad done Just
right.
An Israelte lady, sitting in the same box
at an opera with French physician, was
much troubled with eanui. happened to cape.
Excuse me, madam sad the doctor, 81
am glad you did not swallow me-"
Give yourself no uneasinrss,' replied the
lady, u am Jewess, and never eat pork"
TOBACCO
Chewing in the parlor.
Smoking in the street.
Choking with cigar smoke
Every one you meet
Splitting on the pavement.
Splitting on the floor.
Is there such enslavement
Is there such bore
! What do YOU call this ?' said Jones, tap
ping his break fast lightly with his fork. "Cal
it ~ snarled the landlord-"what do you cal
it ?" "Well. really" sad Jones, Il don
know, it hasn't quite enough hair in for plas
ter, but there's leetle too much in it for
hash"
a man, who has notoriety for saying
smart things, must often be annoyed at hav
ing half dozen fellows watching before lii
mouth, like so many cats before a rat hole, tC
catch whatever comes out.
The Boston Post talking about DIR. Win
ships lifting ll60 pounds, gives him mora
admonition as folloVs: I'VE knew fellow
once who got habit of lifting things
small ones, at frst--then larger, until at las
he took to shop-lttny!' Consekens-the!
sent him to the penitcntiary for five years.
Perhaps you will appreciate this anecdot
of Young America, WHO is as "cute" as th
Prince OF Wales. was one Cay telling NJ,
"Devil," ia roliicking genius,) that he com
menccd using tobacco because he thought
was "smart." That's SO" said he, 81 use.
to run up in front of man and spit on In
sidew ak, and then go around the corner AM
puke " A vivid description Of ones owl
first experience, take it.
The importance Of spelling correctly i
seen by the following especially the necess
ty of spelling Lager Beer as it should be-
4 country rumseller wishing supply of tha
beverage wrote as follows:
Bungville JUL 1st 1860
AIesrs Blotch & Drinker sell me up a
soone as possibul cask Of Brandy And on
S Large Bear for fourth of jail sen the Bear
expires in Hast reuben lood.
The answer came as follows
MIR. Todd. Dear Sir
7 We send you to-day ore cask of brand
: aud the Bear BY express as requested. 70
must feed him ON raw meat and be very care
5 full that he does not escape as he is very SAY
age. He cost Ss40O and We let you have hi
for the same. Please forward payment.
!. Yours Respectfully, Blotch 4 Drinker.
The CONSERVATION of Reuben Todd VIZ
complete when the furious animal was lane
ed at his shop.door with halfscared cul
;, Gus crowd around it, and it was only by
5 sacrifice of cask of brandy, and a couple
trips to New York that he got rid Of his ug
property and learned how to spell Lag