The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1860-08-19
Dog Days In Town


Dog Days in Town .ssa
Everybody ia out of town. The palatiai mar
sions in Fifth, Second and Madison ave. !
nues, and the "demesnes that thereunto ada
cent lie," are left to desoIation and the lead
pipe thieves. The festive brocatelle is STROUD
ed from the vulgar touch Of Bridget's friends,
who hold of Sunday high revel in the sacred
precincts where the belle of the season hirted
between the figures of the German with Charles
Augustus '.just from Paris, and SO wicked"
The whole world we are told, has shut up its
house, closed its blinds packed its trunks, and
sailed Of to Newport, Sharon, Saratoga, the Viz
ginia Springs, Long Branch or Cape May.
To be seen in Broadway in these piping
times ia equivalent to social ostracisr. Accord
ing to the religious belief of the fashionable
world, the whole duty of man and woman, In
the dog days is comprised in knocking about
from one watering place to another;
being swindled right and left by all sorts of
people, from tavern keepers down to deputy
boot blacks; drinking nasty water by the gal.
lon, flirting at the rate of sixty miles an hour,
driving over dusty roads, eating bad dinners,
dressing within an inch Of your life, bathing
for the bene6t of your heirs, sleeping on mise
rahle beds in badly ventilated rooms, and
generally allowing yourself to be made as un-
comfortable az possible.
And all for the sake of saying that you can't
bear New York in August; that nobody stops
in New York in August; that New York Is
slow In August and that, in point of fact exist
ence in New York during the dog days, is no
more nor less than mild form Of purgatorial
punishment.
While there are 80 many respectable people
who hold to the above belief with far more tena-
city than to those good, oldfashioned, hopefully
pious and never-to be-for-a-momentdcubte
truths which, during the fashionable season, the
Rev. Cream Cheese-he is in Europe just now,
and finds the air of Chamounix, to say
nothing of the claret, quite the thing
for his bronchitis-pouts forth from the
luxurious pulpit down into the still more sump-
tuous pews Of Saint Asaph's, it would be, per-
haps impertinent for us to put In more than
general demurrer, and, while acknowledging
that such vast number Of people could hardly
20 wrong, to point to the several sensations in
which the Can't Getaway Club have lately par
ticipated. We may allude, for a moment to
the grand Heenan .fete at Jones Wood on
Monday. 1t would be hard for Saratoga or
Newport, with all their pretension, to match
that scene. Such an assemblage OF the bone
and muscle and sinew Of the metropolis has
never been witnessed before, and We have yet
to hear of any disorder, thieving or ether of the
usual disgraceful incidents almost inevitable
upon the gathering together of great bodies of
people representing all classes of society, from
the highest to the lowest stratum. Then there
was tie departure of the Great Eastern, that
gigantic humbug, with the swarm Of angry
creditors upon the heels Of the well beloved
steward and his solutions, who seem to have
had very liberal ideas upon the subject of
credit and the currency. Any one would
imagine that two or three hundred per cent
profit upon everything sold aboard the ship
would have paid pretty well. 1t appears
however, that our English friends were not sa-
tisied with that, but demanded the whole.
The idea is comical in the extreme-the ninth
wonder Of the world being held, like Gulliver,
By Lilliputian debts, in all amounting to less
than thousand dollars.
The murder calendar has been quiet, and the
criminal record Of the week Is declared by
those sanguina-y fellows, the police reporters
to be distressingly neagre. Some malicious
people ascribe this paucity Of crime to the ab-
sence Of the lawyers and the clergy but that is
Islander, of course. Nevertheless, if we are
little short Of murders and robberies, rapes
and arson, we have splendid weather, ripe
fruit and such nice large houses all to ourselves
How We pity the poor misguided victims Of
custom, cooped up in their little seven by nine
rooms at some third rate hotel, In fashion
able watering place. How we enjoy the fresh,
open, rudy countenances Of RusticUs, and
Mrs. Rusticus, and all the little Rusticuses
as they wander about Broadway, continually on
the wrong side of the walk and always getting
into stage which takes them il q direction
precisely opposite to that where they desire to
20! How we thank Heaven that we are not
as other people are-Newporters or Saratogians,
Lcng Branchers or Sharon Shakers How
we stsy-sthome people-there are more than
seven hundred thousand Of us-reioice that we
are not obliged to 60 through 20 much annoy
aree TO gain &C little real pleasure After all
there is some fun left in town even in the dog
days SO let the stay-at-home people take
heart Of grace, and enjoy the comforts Of the
metropolis, with the rural aud seaside attrac-
tons which may be had within couple of
hours distance by steamboat or rail
TIE WHEREABOUTS OF WALKER-We have