The Ashland union. [volume] (Ashland, Ashland County, Ohio) 1854-1868, 1860-05-30
A CHAPTER ON WOMAN.

There be many kinds Of wonien OF course
I adoresthem all; but there is one who excites
my unfeigned astonishment. / allude to tho
rabbit woman. She has four chins and twelve
babies. She has two dresses loose calico
wrapper for home wear, and black silk for
"meetin'." She eats tremendously, and never
goes out; she goes to bed with her twelve ba-
bies at eight o'clock every evening, and calls
her husband "Pa." She is quite content to
roll leisurely from her rocking-chair in the nur.
sery TO the dining-room table, and thence back
again, year in and year out. She knows noth-
ing that passes in the outside world, nor cares.
She never touches book or a newspaper, not
even when she is rocking her baby to sleep,
and might. She never troubles herself about
Pa, SO long as he don't get in her way, or sit
on the twelve babies She has particular
fondness for the child who cries the most, and
won't go to sleep without a stick of candy In
each fist. She has voice like an auctioneer,
and prefers cabbage to any vegetable extant.
"Pa" is devoted to her, i.e, he calls her my
dear, and as soon as he enters the house, before
hanging up his hat, kisses all the twelve chill
dren immoderately, whether dirty, or clean,
and inquiries tenderly after her health; keeps
stupid on full diet and firts desperately, at
a safe distance, behind her back.
Secondly, there IS the prins woman, with
her mouth always in prepared state to whis-
tie; who crosses over If she sees man coming,
and tosses up the end of her shawl when she
sits down, lest she should crease it; who keeps
her personal in several layers Of tissue-paper
when not on dutyj puts her two shoes on the
window-sill "to air" every night, and suggests
more indelicaoy by constantly running away
from it, than she could ever find by the most
jealous search.
Thirdly, there Is your butterfly woman, who,
provided her wings are gay and gatzy, Is not
particular where she alights. Who cannot eKs
list out of the sunbeams, and breads a rainy
day like an old gown. Who values her male
acquaintance according to their capabilities
for trotting her to ball, operas and parties, and
giving her rings and boquets. Who spoils all
the good looks she has trying 20 make herself
slook BETTER" and turns out into very ordi-
nary caterpiller after marriage. t.-7,s..
Fourthly, there is your library woman, steep=
ed in folios; stepped in languages, both living
and dead, who walks around a baby as if il
were rattlesnake, and if she was born with
heart, never has found it out. -,ys
Fifthly, there is your female viper-your
cat--your hyena. All claws, nails and tongue.
Wiry, bloodless, snappy, narrow, vindictive:
tapping up your life-blood with her ISLANDERS,
and iclawing out your warm, palpitating heart
Out on heri ss4;a 1lgl551 4aa1. .9saeTE
.Sixthly, there is your wofnan-pretty or
plain, it matters not; lady like by nature; in
telligent, but not pedantic; modest, yet not pru.
dish strong hearted, but not "strong- minded
Gas that term is at present perventedO no
@scholar," and yet well read no butterfly, and
yet bright and gay. Merry without noise,
silent without stupidity, religious without fa-
naticism, capable of an opinion; and yet able
to hold her tongue. If married, not of neces-
sity sinking into mere machine; if unmarried
occupying herself with other things than hus-
and-huntiBg. Liking books, yet not despi-
sing needles and brooms; genial, unaffected
good-natured; with an active brain, and live
wherever she is, for she redeems all the rest.