Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1860-06-09
$3.50 A YEAR.
Fact, Fancy and Fun.

rScs, Educy aUO fuU.
Spare Ribs-Unmarried females.
Adversely overcome is the highest
glory.
If sincere friends are desirable at
any time, it is when we are in prosper
ity.
There is no friend to man SO true,
SO real, so kind, and SO good, as wo-
man.
The poor birds are not very bold
race, though great many Of them die
game.
"A pile of fre-wood and disunion-
lists neck may properly lie measured
by the cord.
A woman should have no male
friends except those who are friends to
her husband.
NO person falls SO unpitied as he
who has raised himself upon the spoils
Of the public.
-''Death loves a shining mark
Gentlemen with branded noses will
take warning.
When the purse is empty and the
kitchen cold, then is the voice of fat
terry no longer heard.
Strength and activity are of little
value without good sense to preside
over their operations.
-Shun the tale bearer. Whoever
entertalns you with the faults Of others,
will entertain others with yours.
Why is she boot black al an inn
Ike an editor? Becaas1 he po!;shes
the understandings of bis patrons.
-TLe Boston Post suggests that Ia
dies whose roseate cheeks are put on,
are s'person5 Of color" Shameful.
-TAo other day two young women
kissed ola Back. When they turned
away one said to the other, 'W hat dry
work -
If person would have a constant
vigorous health, perpetual spring of
youth, let them be temperate in all
things.
-'FGo to thunder" is now rendered:
Take your departure to the abode of
the reverberated echoes of Heavens
artillery.
"A fastidious taste is like squeam-
ish appetite; the one has it's origin in
some disease Of the mind, as the other
has in some ailment of the stomach.
An Irishman being asked what he
came to America for, said:
'By the powers, you may be sure it
wasn't for want, for | had plenty of
that at home"
--"Twelve hundred pounds for q
mare! can't be-" quoth Bagstock.-
ooh, that's nothing" says Cyfax.-
"Richard offered his kin gdom for
horse, and no takers.''
One Of the largest stock raisers IN
Texas; one whose horses and mules
Grange on thousand dhills''-commenc-
ed business in that country few years
ago, with only shirt stud, a coup pie Of
Nightmares and an old boot-iack.
"The perfume of flowers is like the
breath Of angels
IF that be true, some angels, like
mortals, have execrably bad breaths;
for We have smelt flowers whose incense
was worse chan perspiring darkey.
A little boy going to church oil
Sunday remarked, ma, there goes
lady with hat Oh, and, Oh see, moth
er, she's got boots on, toon' cob, no,
my son, you are mistaken; it is only
gentleman with a lady's shawl on !" re
piled the mother.
sheridan said, beautifully: "Wo-
men govern Us, let Us render them per-,
feet. The more they are enlightened,
SO much the more shall we be-. On the
cultivation Of the mind of women de-
pends the wisdom Of men. It is bv
women tEat Nature writes on the hearts
OF men,"
The folio wing note was lately re-
ceived by a music-seiler from a farmer
in the country:
s'Sir, want you to send me by the
postman the angel in quodriel.''
Upon inquiry it was ascertained that
he required copy Of 'The Angelina
Quadriles.
= Two boys accosted each other,
when the one remarked:
"What do you think, my father the
other day shot nine hundred and nine
ty-nine pigeons With one barrel OF his
gum
"Oh! my gosh! why didn't you say
a thousand at once.
(Reply reprovingly). EsDo you think
my father would tell a lie just for the
sake Of one pigeon?"