Cincinnati daily press. [volume] (Cincinnati [Ohio]) 1860-1862, 1860-11-12

uIIonR may they wavep seE Z, ssein I
shood gift into a scrape eff dident look out.
In privit eonversashup with Brigham l
learnt the follerin' fax: II takes him SIX weeks
TO kiss his wives. He don't do it only onct
yere 3 se1 IL Is wuss nor cleanln' mouse
He don't pretend toknow his children tnare ns Is
90 many of um tho they all Know him. lie
sez aboir every child he meats calls him
Par, & he takes it for grantid it is so. His
wites are very expensiv. They alters want
suthin' & eff he don't buy it for um thay set
the house in an uproar. He sez he don't hev
O minits peace. His wives fite amuug their
selves so much that he has bilt fitin' room
for tbare speshul benefit h when too of um
git into row he has um turned loose inte
that place, WHARF the dispoot is settled &C
cordin' to the rules Of the London prize ring.
Sumtimes thay abooz hisself Individually.
Thay hev pulld the most of his hair out at
the roots 4 he wares meny a horrible scar
upon his body, inflicted with mop-handles,
broom-sticks & sich. 0ccashunly thay git
mad & sCald him with bilin' hot water.
When he got eny waze cranky thay'd shut
him up in dark closit, previsly whippin
him arter the stile of muthers when thare
orfsprings git onruly. Sumtimes when he
went in swimmin' thay'd go to the banks of
the Like & steal all his close, thereby COM
pellin' him to sueek home by sircootius
rowt, dresst in the Skanderlus stile of the
Greek Slaiv. 81 find that the keers of a
marrid life way hevy ontome," sed the Pro-
fit, "& sumtimes wish Ide renamed singel."
left the Profit and startid for the tavern
WHARF put up to. On my way was over
TUX by a lurge krowd of MorniHs, which
thay surToundid me Il statid that thay was
| goin' into the Show free.
"Wall,"- sez l, "ef l find individooul
| who is goin round lettin folks into his show
| free, lie let you know" -
"We've have had Revelashun biddin us
| to go into A. Wards Show without payin
nothinp' thay sbowtid. III. -.-. .s
| "Yes," hollered lot of female Mormon.
esses, ceasin me by the cote tales Il swinging
we round very rapid, were all goin in free
So sez the Revelashunl"
''What's Old Revelashun got to do will
my Show2" sez I, gittin putty riley. "Tel
Mister Revelashun," sed /, drawin myself III
to my full hite and lookin round upon thu
onery krowd with prowd & defiant mean
"tell Mister Revelashun to mind kis OWL
bizniss, subieck only to the Konstitushun 0
the Unitid StaitsP
said several females. putin their arm
rownd me in luvn stile. "Becum l of us
Becum Preest, Il have wives Sealed tt
you.p III -..- .-.
"Not seall' sez I, startin back in horre
at the idee. -.... sG.-
3 "0h stay, Sir, stay" sed tall, gawnt fe
maile, ore whoos he'd 81 summirs must hey
parsed, stay, & lie be your Jentle Gazelle.'
'Not eff know it, you won't" sez l
l'Awa you skanderlus female, awal Go & b
Nunneryl' That's what sed, jes so.
~ /, sed fat chunky female, who mus
hev wade more than two hundred lbs, %
will be your sweet gidin Starl"
Sez /, "Ile bet two dollers and half yoT
WON'T" WHARF ear l may Rome lie still b,
troo 2 thee, Oh Betsy Jane! IN. B. Bets,
Jane is my wife's Sir naime.
"Wiltist thou not tarry hear in the Prom
ist Land?" sed several of the miserable crit
ters.
"Ile see you all essenshally cussed be
wiltistl' roared T. as mad as l Good be a
tbare infernul nonoents. l girded up my
Lions & fled the Seen. packt up my dudi
& left Salt Lake, which is End Sodium
Germorrer, inhabited by as theavin & on.
principled set of retchis as ever drew Brett
in enY spot of the Globe.
| ARTEMUS WARD.