White Cloud Kansas chief. [volume] (White Cloud, Kan.) 1857-1872, 1860-08-02
From the La Sale Press.)
A Short Sermon to Douglas Wor.
shippers"
BY wHANG DOODLE.

Acts viii, 2.
My DEAR DOUGLAS BRETHREN in
tend to talk to you at this time about the
folly and sinfulness of worshipping man.
The heather bow down to images Of wood
and stone, and some worship unclean
beasts, while others bow in humble ado
ration even to kiss a great toe But
we Of this generation have been guilty Of
the meanest idolstry of all in worship
ping little lump of corrupt flesh aud
blood, called Stephen, now defunct. A
few weeks ago, when we ladened our YES
sells with rum and whiskey for our breth-
rem, who were sent as missionaries to the
port of Charleston, in the foreign land Of
South Carolina, to preach the gospel of
bred Scott and Popular Sovereignty, and
gave them gold and silver wherewith to
buy their bread and meat, our departed
friend was full of promise, and high up
lifted as the god of Democracy. and all
who would fall down and worship him
should have their reward. But, alas
our brethren have returned to US with
nothing but his unseemly carcass. "And
dsvom men carried Stephen to his burial,
and made great lamehtdtion over him"
And it came to pass, when our chief
priests and elders were gathered together
in Convention at Charleston, that many
of the heathens of that region would not
fall down and worship our golden calf
And we said unto them that they were
wrong that the golden calf would grant
them many indulgences he would give
them Bourbon whisky, apple jack and
red eye as beverages, and had promised
nine hundred and ninety-nins thousand
foreign missions, post offices and custom
houses, and to take five hundred old TO-
gies into his cabinet. But all this
would not avail. Nary bowel of COM
passion could be moved within them,
and therefore our brethren returned unto
US. "ARd devoW men carried Stephen to
his burial, and made great lamentation
Over him."
And the disciples Of Stephen spake
unto them saying. that they did not care
whether niggers were voted upside down,
or downsids up-it made no difference
Butthey were rebellious, and declared that
we must get the niger out of the fence
and protect him in the Territories. where
there are no fences but we couldn't do
it. We referred them to Freeport. where
Stephen spake of "unfriendly legislation.
but they didn't care a red for the police
magistrates Of the Territories, but would
pasture their niggers there on Uncle
Sans farm. They wouldn't let US put a
fence of unfriendly legislation around
them; aud because we wouldn't give the
niggers pasture, they waxed fierce with
wrath, and Stephen gave up the ghost.
"And devout men carried Stephen to his
burial, and made great lamentation Over
him"
In vain our brethren promised to erect
a false bottomed platform to delude the
heather with tricks of legerdemain. But
they needed not our entreaties. Oh, the
''irrepressible conflict - 1t squeezed our
poor little Stephen so hard. that govt
nor influenza need trouble him no more.
They cast rocks upon him. The lions
roared at him. The eagle "quivered his
tail at him in proud defiance" Old
Buck shook his horn at him. The mig
ger shook his wool and laughed at him,
because the rail Maulsr" received more
votes from the suckers than he did. And
one hundred and fifty.two and half
brethren stood by and saw him crushed
out, and bewailing their empty pockets,
and the loss of the good things promised
them. "And dsVom men carried Stephen
to his burial, aud made great laHentation
over him" ....... ... ...- .
And now, in conclusion, my dear
Douglas brethren, / know it is hard for
Us to believe that Stephen is snufed out
We cannot realize it. But it is even so.
We shall never behold his coat-tail drag
ging on the ground any more. Its beau
tiful folds have been wrapped around his
wounded honor, and he has been lain CT
rest. The ''irrepressible conflict" ha:
dealt him a smasher on the COB, and his
voice will no longer charm US with the
beautiful song of popular sovereignty
Therefore cease your blubbering for Ste
phen. There is yet hope Of salvation fol
us. There is a plank still left for Us poo
! shipwrecked sinners to cling to. Gu
brethren North and South already stand
upon it. Though the heather have de
! nounced it as a relic Of barbarism, ye
our elders in the great council of the ma
} ton say it is good one. We will al
/ 20 to that land Of blessed saints in Utah
where it is fenced in, and shout for oil
Z Mrs. Poly Gamy. There reposing o.
! her bosom, we will bury all our sorrow
for the immaculate Stephen, who wa
50 shamefully martyred at Charleston
Let him rot in peace.
Farewell, then. to poor old Stephen,
!. The fAmous ChsFiestsn martyr:
For be lied 50, we couldn't believe him,
D And We woaf 20 tumblizs after
: Thus, you see. have quoted the Dutc
poet, and we will close with the words
the text, 'sAnd dsUOUs men carried 81
pksn to his burial, and made great tdnsT
tstion over HIM" Amen.
II The choir will please sing that goo
10 old sociology, Of "Possum up gu
r tree while . collection is beng take
}. I'D for the benefit Of our late missionari