Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1860-06-22
A Short Sermon to "Douglas worshipers.'
BY WHANG DOODLE.
From the La Salle Press.

And devout men carried Stephen 70 As Jaral and madS
great lamentaton over him.-Acts, viii. 2,
My dear Douglas brethren IL intend to
talk to you at this time about the folly and
sinfulness of worshiping man. The heathcii
bow down to images of wood and stone, and
some worship unclean beasts, while others
bow in humble alteration even to kiss a great
toe. But we Of this generation have beeii
guilty of the meanest idolatry of all in wor.
Shipping little lump Of corrupt flesh and blood,
called Stephen, now dcfunct. A few days
ago, when we ladencd our vessels with rum
and whisky foro brethren, who were sent N
missionaries to the port Of Charleston, iii tbs
foreign land of South Carolina, to preach the
gospel Of bred Scott and Popular Sovereign
ty,. and gave them gold and silver wherewith
to buy their bread and meat, our departed
friend was full Of promise, and high uplifted
as the god Of Democracy, and oil who would
fall down and worship him should have their
reward. But, alas our brethren have return
ed to us with nothing but his unseemly car
cass. Ind deuout men carried Stephen TO
lss burial, and made great lamentasion orsr
him."
And it came to pass, when our chief priests
and elders were gathered together in conven-
ton at Charleston, that many of the hcathens
Of that region would not fall down and wor-
ship our golden calf. And we said unto them
that they were wrong; that the golden calf
would grant them many indulgcncics; he
would give them Bourbon whisky, apple-jack
and red eye rs beverages, and had promised
nine hundred and ninety mine thousand for.
eign missions, post-offices and custOln.houses1
and to take five hundred old fogies into Il
cabinet. But oil this would not avail. Mary
a bowel Of compassion could be moved within
them, and therefore our brethren returned
unto us. And derOut men carried StepAes
to his burial, and made great lament0tjom
0rer him."
And the disciples Of Stephen spakc unto
them saying, that they did not care whether
niggers were voted upside down or downside
up, it made no difference. But they were
rebellious, and declared that we must get the
nigger out Of the fence and protect him in tho
territories where there are no fences; but We
couldn't do it. We referred them to Free
port where Stephen spake of "unfricndlv
legislation" but they didn't care 4 red for tho
Police Magistrate Of the territories, but would
pasture their niggers there, on Uncle Sans
farm. They wouldn't let us put fence of
unfriendly legislation around them, and be.s
cause we wouldn't give the niggerS pasture.
they waved with wrath, and Stephen gave up
the ghost. "And deroMt men carried Jtsp1ea
to his 6irial, and made great hmentaticN
0rer him."
In vain our brethren promised to erect =
false -bottomed platform to delude the heathcn
with tricks Of oflegerdemain. But they needed
not our entreatics. Oh, the " irreprcssible
confictr' Hsqucezed our poor little Steph,
en- so hard, that gout nor influenza need
trouOle him no more. They cast rocks uponn
him. The lions roarcd at him. The esSH
" qnivered his tail ut him in proud defiance"
Old Buck shook his horn at him. The nil.
ger shook his wool and laughed at him. IS.
cause the " Rail maulcr " received more vo(6
from the Suckers than be did. And .d2QyX
hundred and ffty-two and half becthfn
stood by and saw him crushed out, and be:.
walled their empty pockets, and the .loss II
the good things promised him. "And ASsoui
men carsisd Stzpkm to ~ 5uriGl, anl Sss1x
grcat laDsentati0a eeer him."
And now, in coaeinaion, my dear Douaaal
brethren, know i = hnrd fW q n Aaafsvd
tlat Stcf - = EiaNl No eonnok -,
Nike Il But e il es1 Hxs1t6M aeyef
behold his co4t TIL Dr. E.aa - kfoisn1
my more. Its beaufflA - have -
wrapped around k1s Noahd6 - - 49,
md he has been udn s6ta l
Iibls conflict has deAlt y y = 11n
COB, and his voice wfn 10 - ~
With the beautiful sou1 9 N 49,, /
". Therefore ceAS2 SBow a. 20 Il
stephen. Ihsee y ~ 49, o(sI = -
as There y plank seill IN 81 1t