New Orleans daily crescent. [volume] ([New Orleans, La.]) 1851-1866, 1860-02-20
SCENES IN THE LIFE OF A SNOWMAN.
by ARTEMus WARD.

a Snowman meets with strange sites. He sees
human natur as she are unmarked Il without no
close on " he must be stoopider nor a ded kab
boss If he duzzent stock his Branes with several
kinds of EOilege.
The undersigned won't Boste line a American
citterzun go in for the fast sailin, snug bilt d
full-mand skeuner United States, which runs her
self, she dug, ~ on whose decks man ID as goods
anuther man, FREQUENTLY more so If he conducks
hissef strate. 10 use Shakespeerian Erase, line
naity TO the mannere born, 4 don't want to put
on airs empty pecaWs I've met with great suck
sess in the show perfushun (which I've bin into
going on twenty-2 yeres) MY wnrthy projenny-
tors was unable to give me d cussycal eddycashun
and all nose pickt up
" As sailed, as sailed ~
to kote from Captng B. Kidd, the sellerbrated
gave me good name, Il pint with feelns Of
pride pleshnre to the fack that nun of our family
was ever IN Congress or on the New York perlice,
or Arms House Gunner.
The ensoonn seems in nv checkerd kareer ia
respectfully submitted:
wIMIN's RITES.
ptcht my tent in q small town in Iniianny one
day orst seeson, u while was standin at the dore
takin munney deppytashun Of ladies came up Il
sed they was members of the Bunkumyill Female
Moral Reform h Wimin's Rites Associashun, and
they axed me II they could go in without payin..
Not exackly, Z ses / E but you can pay without
gon I'M
Dew you know who we air ~ said one Of the
wimen-a tall & feroshus lookin critter. with blew
kotton umbreller under her arm" dew you know
who we air, sir RI M
Ny impression is, sed l. from a kursery view,
that you air females.n
belong TO Sosiety which bleeyes winin has rites
which beeyes in rain her to her proper speer-
which beeves she Is indowd with as muteh intel
ieck as man ls-Which bleeyes she is trampild on h
aDoozed--N Whltch will resist hens4fh Il forever
the incroachments of proud and domineerin man.
During her DISCOURSE the exsentric female grabd
me BY the coat-kollar & was swinging her u1nbrel-
Ter wildly over my he'd.
ts hope, marm,i' seq T. startin back that yorr
intenshnns Is honorable? line lone man hear in
. strange place. Besides, I've wife hum.n
Yes cr1de the female, .. s. shes slave! Doth
she never dreem OF freedom-doth she never think
speakin votin for herself? doth she ever think az
these things gu NJ
Not beina natral born fool sed I, by this time
iitte red, KIN safely say that she dothunt Y
her umbreller in the air, Oh whot is the price
that woman pays for her xpeeriunse p
" don't know, marin. 7 seq /; the price to my
show is 10 cents pur individooul.'
female.
Motif know it, sed i.
teers.
Won't you let my darter in p, said anutber of
the excentrc wimmin, takin me afecshnnitly by the
hand. Q, pleese let my darter irl-shees sweet
child Of natur.'
Let her gush!n roared I, as mad as I Good
stick 81, at their tarnal noncents let her gush!
Whereupon they all sprang back with the stimuli
famous obserYashun that was a Beest.,
My female friends, y said !, q bed you leeve,
I've 9 few remarks to make; wa them wall. The
lemale woman is one Of the gratest institooshuns
Of which this land kin boste It's impossible to
git along without her. Had thar bin no female
wimin in the world, shood soacely be hear with
my unparaleld show on this very horsepishus oc-
cashun. She is good in sickness-good in we'll
ness good all the time. O, woman, woman "
cride, my feelins wurked up to a hi poetick |
pitch, lyon air a angil when you behave your
sell but when you take off yourypreper apparial
(mettyforically speaking git into pantyloons--
when yon desart your firesides. d your beds full
of wimins rights noshuns go round like roarin ly-
1ns seekn whom you may deyonr somebody
A short, when you undertake to play the man,
gou play the devil, ~ air emfattic noosance. |
Wy female friends,' | continued, as they was in
lignuntly departin, !" wa wall what A. Ward has
iaid!''
A 1NsIDUST IN UTIKY.
In the Fanl of 1856 l showed my show in Utiky,
truly CRATE sitty in the State Of New York.
The peple gave me cordyal rccepshnn. The |
,res was loud in her prases
One day was givin description of my Beests |
md Snakes in my usual howry stie, what was my |
korn and disgust TO see big bnrly fellow walk up
% the cage containin my wax iggers of the Lords
LAST Supper, and cease Judas Iscarrot blythe feet
md drag him out on to the ground. He then com |
nenst fur to pound him as hard as he Good.
What under the son air you abowt?" cried l. |
SEE he, g What did ye bring this pusseylaeermus
,uss hear forr and he hit the wax igger anuther |
remenjis blow on the he'd.
SEE |, b" You egrejus ass, that airs wax fgger |
"a representashun of the false Postle.n |
SEE he, That's all very well for you to say but
tell you, old man. that Judas Iscarrot, can't show
himself in Utiky with impunerty, by darn site ~
With which observashun he kaved in Judssis he'd |
The young man belonged to one Of the fnrst famer-
les Of Utiky. sood him. and the Joory brawt in |
yerdick of Arson in the Sd degree.
Brnhch Opens d Segar store.