The national era. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1847-1860, 1860-01-12
imself At least, as the freshlv-made Woora,i

medium of his torture was chiefly, the Dream.
Awake, what principally haunted and dis
turbed him-child of Opium, this-was an ex-
aggerated, perpetual, hideous DREAD. What
ever occupied his thoughts at the moment was
sure to be perverted, soiled, made foul and
loathsome, and not to be touched, by this all
pervading Dread. Now, hated monster, it would
rear its head, green, jaundiced, hollow-eyed, and
take on the guise and form of Jealousy. An
other time, with ears intent for every sound,
with stealthy step and bilious eye, shsrp-glanc-
ing underneath the brow, it crept along, sowing
tares among the wheat, and poisoning his every
thought, being Suspicion. Again, with face all
pale, and horrent hair, with lips blue and trem-
bling, chances athwart, ears haunted by the
ghosts of sounds, with quaking step, blood all
a-chill, and agued creeping If the flesh and
bones, it ruled his woful hours confessing itself
to be Fear. So, then, it comes to this, the
would miserably fancy.) My children hate and
shun me; Rupert, enamored of his sports,
thinks not of his poor old father, who is toiing
to bring him back his name Helen, why, she
will play by the hour with that little Pope, in
the garden, which, if / show my face, presto
she laughs no more. If they suspect / will
make my appearance at meals, they keep away;
Rupert is engaged to dine at Cafe Greco, with
a friend, forsooth and Helen, she has head
ache. Always a headachel And my wife, an,
she loved me once, as few men have been
loved--ought she not to have done so. when |
gave ap such bright prospects for her, and in
her cause have kept up such lifelong decep
ton ?-she, too is estranged, thinks no more of
me, despises me, perhaps. There acas a time,
when | could rest my head upon her bosom, and
be conseled, whatever my trouble but now she
has her children, she knows that her income is
r i L L 4
Perhaps the broken-down defaulter is an en-
cumbrance, and shame, who would be well
out of the way. No word of pity for my for
lorn agony, no gentle touch nor kindly gesture
to make me feel that, with her at least, my dis
grace has not banished her love. No, none of
that; only the constant reproof and accusation
of her signs, her silence, her pale passive face,
that says to me ever, palmer than words You
have brought shame upon yourself, upon me,
upon our children. You cannot, dare not ask
me to respect you. Alb, God has it come to
this that !, with all my pride, with all my su-
premacy, have no right nor no courage to re.
sent such treatment? Even George, my friend
in need, my once-faithfu servant my very
saviour, even he is estranged, and has deserted
me, as the rats desert the sinking ship, to make
his peace with Helen. Poor wretch, /, king
once, honored of all, like Richard, and now
there is none to say God bless him!" How
long, / wonder, can a man endure and bear up
against these tortures of He'll? SO, they talk
Of their racks and thumb-screws, of their pluck
ing out of fnger-nails, of their fiery furnaces,
and their spears of anguish !" but what is the
twisted, torn, scorched, squeezed, fayed flesh, in
comparison with this bitter mental torture this
gnawing of the thoughts about the throbbing
heart?
But / have seen it long-they cannot deceive
me, however much they may dissemble. am
to be got rid of. That is clear. / am in their
way--men will never recognise me-will al.
ways shrink from contact with me-they know
it, and they wish to escape from what viii al
ways be blight upon their fame, an obstacle
to their fortunes. Once fed and gone, in other
chimes and with another name, wealthy and
prepossessing, who will suspect in them the
forgers family Well, let them go. / have no
right to ask them to wait the few short weeks,
until these damned rats have gnawed their way
completely out, and / anywhere? No, never!
Sooner will forget the laws of nature, murder
them in their beds, or blow this accused shadow
haunted house up with my own hand, than be
thus heartlessly deserted Let them wait--they
know not what | am now devising. They guess
not how soon the wealth will begin to pour in
again, and /, sweeping away all scores, and
binding all mems eyes to this stain with the
splendid glitter of gold, shall once more take
my rightul rank among the Princes. Aha |!
why does Rupert seem so anxious to learn
my plans? Does he suspect how grand they
are? Would he rob me of them, take the credit
on himself, and make his own the wealth which
is rightly niue? Safe-safe are ye yet my
papers; and, if careful watching can keep We
So safe ye shall remain. Safe? But then, 0
God, perhaps not safe for mel Perchance
some error, some figure dropped some wrongly
calculated sum-and then? Ruin, ruin, ruin I
Have | not proved them, twice and thrice, and
| many times proved them2 Ave. but perhaps
not carefully enough-my poor head, so op-
pressed with its burden of woe, 40 aching and
befogged by that accused drug, which sneers
at me from the bottle there-who would won
der if some fatal error had crept in? To-mor-
row, to revise them once again. But-tomor-
row--perhaps, it will be too late. Oh, this
curse of He'll which follows mel Can trust
George? l must watch him. Even his fidel-
ity, of which l was so sure, must not be exposed
to temptation. l was tempted, and l fell |
Werner-do not know his spirit of revenge
| Did | not see how he hunted poor Fowler,
| even to his grave-not stopping there, even, but
writing his memory down, with lie and SLAM
derl And can expect he will forgive or for
get mes No-even now his agents are on the
track, know-perhaps have found me out.
He cannot get the money back but--he can
have his revenge, and he is just the man will
| ing to pay handsomely for it. Tomorrow may
bring it on--his vengeance and my shame-my
children exposed to gibe and scoff, and ban
ned, hound HUNTED, up and down the world |
| IT'S so easy for him to do it, too. An agent
here in Genoa, with money-George corrupt.
ed-a false charge trumped up, to get me into
prison, and prevent my escape; and then-all
| is over! Perhaps the thing is even now i'm
pending. Who was that low-browed eur saw
in such close converse with George this morn
ing? Ah-lucky / bethought me, there in
Liverpool, to secure that Prussic acid A
hand laid on me for arrest-it goes to my
mouth, and all is over; l go-I dare not ask
whittier, but, at least, beyond pursuit! Let
them beware how they drive desperate man
to bay. And let George beware how he betrays
me. / have his pistols yet-and time was,
when, for a few scudi, one could hire very
keen poignard in Genoa Ah-ha-'tis black,
the horizon.
ST All who touched the door? Is the bolt
shot? Aye-and these pistols at my hand.
Could one see me from yon windows? No, /
think not. Yet, some one is moving out there !;
can here the stealthy tread that confesses evil
purpose These scgwling rogues about the
place. have always suspected them. They
shall tramp tomorrow. ! have the reputation,
here, of untold wealth, George says, and also
that they think keep my money 10 this vault.
What if they should fnd their way in here some
night strong enough to overpower me MUIR
dered in my sleepl How the idea makes one
shudder. To die thus-oh, may be spared so
much at leastl
fro BE CONTINUED
A late celebrated judge, who stopped very
much when walking, had a stone thrown at him
ona dau which forfunafalu r,aaaod OMAR him