New-York daily tribune. [volume] (New-York [N.Y.]) 1842-1866, 1860-11-16
TOO MUCH BEER.

always supposed to be the contemplation Oh the
human skeleton, the division Of human "sub-
"iects" into small fragments, the exploration of
the human interior, and the consumption OF
beer In the nllopathic schools, it is the Chris-
tan duty of the neOphyte to pish at the pellets
and potences of good DIR. Hahnemann; and to
offer, particularly when curious, to swallow
bushel of arsenieun globules. In the nurseries OF
homeopatbica sages, it is the regular thing to
calumniate the bolus, to cast foul scorn upon the
lancet, and to speak disrespectiully of pasters
Two wears devoted to these elegant and eevating
pursuits will entitle the child of science to write
NJ. D. at the end of his name, to try any num-
Der of experiments upon one patient, or one ex-
per;ment upon any number of patients accord
ing to the example of the illustrious Magendle
su,al armies Of these ingenious hom!cldes are
let loose annually upon the land; and every
soldier of them all has scalpel in one hand,
bistoury in the other, and quiver full Of
probangs at his back; or, if he be practitioner
of the infntesimal persuasion, ne carries medical
proyender for regiment of sick children in has
vest pocket, and coils with profound, and we
may say thrilling gravity, for two tumblers OF
water and one spoon. In the happier days of
the Republic, the medical student, after the OBJ
stetrica agonies of his examination, passed into
the rural districts, bought buggy and d couple
of pounds of blue mass and, for seven miles
round, saw human beings into the world or out
of it with equal mind
We have often remarked young gentle
men preparing for this devoted and dag
nostical existence, singing merry songs over their
work, and quoting John Bell at each other
with infinite readiness. Bat the serenity OF this
scientific life in this city has been disturbed
by the Presidential election. Many sons OF thc
sunny South, sent hither by their parents to be
lectured into medical learning, are not pleased
with the result of the canvass, and purpose an
early return to their homes, without per-
mission and without parchment. We do not
understand Why this political change should be
dstasteful to the yotary of pills We have been
told over and over again that the Republicans
would bring in with them everything terrible,
including. of course, the whole catalogue OF cpl
demical and endemcsl diseases-nice fancy ieyers,
which only make their appearance once III CEN
tury; odd affections OF the pneal gland, unknown
TO Gaen and 10 Cullen and queer complaints OF
the kidneys, undiscovered by DIR. Bright. The
United States, under the rule of Abraham Lin
coin and his party, we have been assured, would
become perfect paradise Of compound fractures.
We really do not see why the young medical
men should he dissatisfied. Suppose there should
be wars, civil or unciyil; have they thought how
thar
sidered what capital practice they will have in
gun.shot wounds, particularly (among their CON-
patriots) of the dorsal muscles If everybody
else il to be sick and sorry, what is to prevent
all juvenile physicians from being sound and jolly
Is this proud time, when we are threatened with
the most exquisite diseases, the moment for hypO-
chondriasis? We earnestly entrcat the Southern
medical student in NeN.York to control his feel
ngs and to continue his studies. How will he
feel, when, rs Surgeon of the Ibree-Hundred-
and-Forty-Second Palmetto Regiment, he is called
upon to extract u bullet from the back of some
wounded spirit and finds that he does not know how
to do it How viii be feel when his gallant Com
monder-in-C Chief asks him to prepare neat COM
pound cathartic pill, and he discovers that he has
either forgotten or never known the formula for
that admirable remedy Nay, is he sure that
he viii be wanted What would be his spasms
of jealousy and injured pride to fud, upon join
ing the army, that the private soldiers had al
ready nine doctors each and the officers ten
For if all the medical boys who leave the cloudy
North TO bleed and TO blister the solar South,
are 70 have Commissions in the Southern Rev
dictionary Army, the best OF them viii hardly
secure more than quarter OF patient apiece.
The cOmmOuest foot-sOldcr will delight in his
own Oculist, aurist stethoscopis chiropOdst, sur
geon, physician, apotbecary, and apOthecary's
boy; he will have special doctor for his fevers
and another for his fits, third for his lungs,
and fourth for his liver. Under such crcum
stances the fees will be fearfully small if the
patients themselves are to pay them and nothing
at all if they are to be paid out OF the military
chest. Young gentlemen before returning to the
seat of war should solemnly consider al these
things.
And now having cautioned the youth medical
of the radiant South, we would address q word
of expostulation To the begetters of these prodi-
gies Of physic. We ask the Southern parent We
seriously and, We hope, impressively ask him,
why he trusts Bis white children with us! Why
do you not, chiyalrous sires, make your BOYS
Bachelors of Art of Divinity, of Law, and of
Medicine, at home! Why do you not support
your own factories of that style of goods Why
do you not patronizc your great Southern Uni
versity Why do you send your boys here to be