The Kenosha telegraph and tribune. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1859-1860, 1860-03-08
= 80 ~ A32ialt tt 1sAI ~
JONES alias TOMPKENS

There were five of us--fve as happy fellow
as were ever let loose from College, 1t was va
cation" and we concluded to take trip to tn,
Falls, We got upon the cars 1T NJ ant
we were soon travelling very rapidly towards GU
destination. m -f.-S 4-s-- 80 = 5..H s.-0 -,
We had just seated ourselves, and prepared
Tor comfortable smoke, when in came the con
0uctor, and who should it be but our old friend
Fred b. After the common salutations =
now are you, old fellow etc., had passed, FREQ
said he had some bushes for us to attend to
| Out with it old chum," said we, "anythins
at all will be acceptable, so let us have its
well, boys, " said Fred in very confden.
tlai tone, in that next car there is as loving ;
palr as 1t was ever my lot to see. They are 90
ing down to H---to get married, and now i
you can have any fun over it, just pitch in
Ihey must be cared for, and don't know whe
can do it better than you''
In moment Fred was gone, and we set oul
heads together, to form plan for "taking care
of the LOVERS og a. 5a5r 4fa ss 8Esy
81 have it, boys" said Bill Sewers, "we must
make That girl think that her lover is married
"That's it Bill, that's it, said we, not giving
him time to finish the sentence.
Ihae ne is a married man and the father of
children !" said Bill 'le-5 ~ -
That's the game, boys, and now let us play
1t devolved upon me to commence operations.
Accordingly entered the car in which we were
INFORMED the lovers were. Sure enough, there
they were, in real set lovers STYLE. - .f
All this gathered alta glance Stepping up
to them, said
why Jones, what in the deuce are you doing
with this girl ~ .aeu-gl III
"See here, stranger" said the fellow, s'you are
a mite mistaken ; my name ain Jones'"
why Jones" said /, ''you certainly have not
left your wife and children, and tried to palm
yourself OIL for lnge man, have you ?"
Il tell you my name amt Jones; it's Tompkins
never was jones' faint goin' to be nuther''
merely shook my head, and passed on to an
other seat to see the rest of the fun. The girl
looked wild after sat down; but Jones alias
Iompkins, soon convinced her that was mista-
KEN 5000 N,',
About the time they got to feeling right well
again, in comes Elliot: Gregg. Walking up to
Eompkins. he accosted him with
"Why, Jones, you here How did you leave
your wife and babies ?" tE 1852
''Now see here, stranger, you amt the first
man that's called me Jones today, an l reckon
must look awfully like him, but l amt Jones,
and more than that, you mustn't call me Jones.
haln't got wife nor babies ether but this ere
gal an me is a goln to splice, an then you call
talk about my wife, an wouldn't wonder but
what, in the course of time you might talk about
babies too; but you musnt call me JONES'
This retort brought forth vociferous laughter
from the spectators, and it also brought bushes
to the face of the gal that was goin to be splced
"Ah, Jones, said Gregg, you will regret this
in future. pity your wife and children and
this poor girl.''
$50, Mr.. Tompkins, your real name is Jones,
and you We been fooling me, have you? Well,
we ANT spliced yet, an don't think we will be
very soon, said the girl, and her eyes flashed
fire.
Jane. jane" said Tompkins, don't you know
I'm Bill Tompkins! Thar amt darn drop of
Jones blood in me, and III prove it,
At this moment jeff Jackson, Bill Sewers
and Jim Byers entered, and of course their atten
was called to Tompkins by his loud talking -
They stepped mp to him and said
"Why, Jones. what is all.ths fuss about ~
This was more than Tompkins could stsnd.-
He leaprd upon seat.
Now says he, 'my name amt Jones' and
can lick the teller that says it is. -
By this time we had got to HI ----, and our
friend Fred came into the car and made Tomp-
kins keep quiet. The girl that wouldn't be
'spliced' requested Fred to help her on the train
that was going back to n which he did,
and the notorious Jones' alias Tompkins follow
ed her. We learned afterwards that he proved
himself to be Bill Tompkins instead of Bill Jones
and he and his Jane got spliced.'