The Council Bluffs nonpareil. [volume] (Council Bluffs [Iowa]) 1857-1867, 1860-10-06

s3hs IUiIoh AZ We "eiS PeI0eiuS sAc
NoupGrel Of last week, We noticed an ar
,icls under the head Of ssSold! Sold , !!
Solj!!w And upon examination We found
,ha. the said article was from the prolific
pea Of your crinoiine correspondent,
"Broadway." We don't often read the
letters tina, appear Over THE signature, but
were induced to read this one on account OF
it. peculiar heading, and were surprised to
find tina, the whole burden Of bis story was
the conduct Of Frank Bates. ]. seemed to
q. when We read it, that We would Ike to
know the name Of the individual who wrote
il, and we think now we have some idea
who be is; we have frequently seen his
productions in your paper, over various
signatures, but every letter bears such a
striking resemblance to its author, that it is
readily detected at sight. lie seems to be
n gentleman of leisure, with no apparent
occupation bat tina: Of prying into aud pub
fishing matters that don's concern him, and
keeping the public posted on the subjec. of
hoops and criaoiiae. Many valuable pro-
ductions have cmanased from his pen, blu,
this last caps the climax.
Newton discovered the laws Of grayita-
ton, Watt the power Of steam, and Chris.
tophsr Columbus the Continent of America;
but these great discoveries sink into mar
vel!ous insignIfcanee when we contemplate
the fact that the fates have reserved i. for
the i'm macuIats mind Of "Broadway," to
a.,onish the world By the overwhelming
discovery that, Frank Bates is a ,comaa !!
IA "dcar, pretty, soft-voiced, taperfn
gcrcd, pe'ite-footed woman" who had
doomed the garments Of the uglier SEX"
G4oIness, gracious! who would have thought
H. Why, It's an outrage, upon the "ug lier
SEX" too intolerahle to be borne. But,
"Btoa!way," we'll tell you how to fix it /:
%, you, and "Ion the garments" that
Miss Frank" has forsakcn We know you
would feel better you are certainly out OF
your sphere in the garments OF the uslier
sex." Now, to speak canddly, Broadway
didn't you think you had done i, when you
wrote that lettcrl Well, you did DO it
Didn't you think when that was Published
the world would wonder Mt the magnitude
Of the revelation Well, broadway the
world did worder; and oftentimcs before
has wondered at the versatility Of your &C.
MUS when your vivid Imagination would
soar nloft upon the wings Of the morning
explore the boundIess realm, Of space
leap from star TO star and from sun to sun
embrace at one gigantic sweep the immen-
sity Of the uniserse--then turning your
thoughts ear,hwnrd, you would stand again
CD terra trina, seize your pen and write, all
animate nature awaiting in awful suspense
the grand result then, when the wondrous
deed was done, when the document which
would immortaize the name Of its author
was completed, the world stood still, and in
breathless silence listened to, and marveled
at--GHptheE chapter on crinoIinc!
Shade of Blackstone look with pride
upon tho noble efforts of your gifted disci
pie; assjs, him TO carry out his praiscworthy
Undertaking. and favor US, as heretofore,
with frequent lectures upon his favorite
topic,
Now, Mr.. 'Broadway,' cart you give Us
letter next week We know you are some.
what of politician, but that will be no