Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1860-05-10
THE OTHER SIDE OF THE QUESTION

nj ms IEohsE WASHINGTON WYLLYs.
The latest outcry about matrimohy is that
people can't afford it. Young men find the
girls 20 dreadfully expensive You see. a feI.
low might as we'll sport pair of fast horses a.
a fast wife Both very nice things, no doubt
for those that can afford them If it didn't
cost so much, pretty wife would rather ada
10 ones Importance-ssy nothing of keeping
the stockings in order, and getting up nice
little dinners and tempting breakfasts. But
tnen, between the opera boxes, poke -bonnets,
diamond breaches and brocade dresses that the
sweet creatures require, there wouldn't be A
thread OF broadclOth left Of any unfortunate
chap. A wife needs a new dress forty times A
year, and a horse dOn't-that's the philosophy
of the matter. Oh, yes matrimony's deci
dedly fine thing, but too expensive by half.
Ladies must really learn to haul in their ex-
penditures little, if they expect to avoid being
old maids.
This is what the delightful young creatures
whom society calls 'eligiblo gentlemen, -
glory in exclaiming on every possible and i'm
possible occasion But haven't the ladies a
word or two to say on the same subject
Marry Augustus Jones? Out Of the ques-
tiOn entirely. Not but what he's nice young
man enough-whiskers just the right color,
and q positive genius at flute playing. But,
you see, there are other things which it's a
wOmans duty to consider. Can / afford il +?
Can | reasonably expect, with OR income, to
keep him in peg-tOp trOwSers and ivory headed
canes? Can l keep his cologne bottle filed,
and his segsr case supplied with the best
COloradOs Who's 10 foot his little bills for
his champagne and oyster suppers? Who's to
go 10 parties with him, headache or no head
ache, whenever he feels like society, and STAY
meckly at home to read the paper and sing 10
him whenever be dOn't2 Am l. who could
never hold my tongue for two consecutive min
utes at time, to open and shut my mouth
only at the sovereign bidding of my husband ?
Am /, whose greatest pleasure in life is in ask
comes in late at night, and never to find out
who gave him that dear little sprig of Hello
trOpel Am /, who've always been brought
up to believe that eyes were made to be used
never to look at a beaver hat without being
frightened out of years growth by Angus
tus's indignant diatribes2 tell you can Z
afford it. No, sir, ana not going to put nv
dear little foot into il, without a clear under
standing on the subject. If the gentlemen will
put themselves on a stated allowance of tobacco
and trowsers-if they will spend just so much
on wines and political hetting-we girls might
possibly, save some of EN- from being snuffy
bachelors. 0therwiSe-nO,
Who cares if we are old maids-I mean If we
do live TO become 25 years old without getting
married? We have a pretty fair chance of liv-
ing in peace twenty-five more which isn't the
case if we are fastened to extrsvagant husbands
Don't think mean to be severe Augustus-I
wouldn't hurt your feelings for the world. Only
my dear little man, you are so ''fast." Don't
you think it would be more manly life for you
TO be splitting wood and carrying water for
your mamma, instead of serewing up your eye
glass at the girls on Broadway? Well-regu-
lated girls would be twice as apt to like you.
And wouldn't it be a better plan for you to be
reading COrnelfs Geography by the back par-
lor FIRE than driving on the Bloomingdale road
Depend upon it, your chance for a good home,
under the protection of a sensible wife, would
be dozen to one greater. Nice, rosy-cheeked
girls can't afford TO throw themselves away on
miserable milk-and- water, lancer-dancipg,
white-handed, gOOd-fOr- nothing jack -a-dandies
like you, You are an expensive article, Au-
gustus and you won't wash and wear
That's our way of looking at the matter
Life illustrated.