Nebraska advertiser., 1860-05-24
NO. 49,


Tom Marshalls s "lasts' generally
show how he used somebody op in the
most mortifying manner But bis last
"last" is rather the other way. IN coming
to his city few weeks since from Gin.
cinnati, be stopped over "a Delaware,
fOGrishing village. in the interior, for a
day tEc. Just before leaving shere be
asked the station agent to check bis valise
for Cleveland. The agent. a tail and
verdant-looking young man. ehalked
cleveland" on the Valise and went away.
The brilliant Kensuckian didn't exactly
understand this way Of checking, but a
sudden thought struck him and he started
in pursuit Of the agent. After a pro-
tracted search Marshall found him. +
"Look here" said Tom, 81 want that
piece Of chalk"
"What for 2" asked the astOnished
agent.
$50 can have something to show for
my baggage il Cleveland - said Tom,
with perfect gravity.
The yerdent looking agent brushed his
long soap locks from his eyes, closely
surveyed Toms face for a moment or two,
and said, solemnly, ave gin'rally give a
small piece of brass TO holders Of bag
gage, but l reckon t'aint necessary in
yonr case %
There was Just time to 60 across the
street and return before the train started,
and the form Of the tall KentuCkian tow
cred at the procession.
There is said to be an old farmer
living in Red River CO., Texas, well.lo-do
in the world, and hospitable, but who has
most inconceivabIe prejudice against
Tennessee and Tennesseans, insomuch
thathe viii not even entertain a man from
that State. His mode Of ascertaining a
Tennesseeanis something like pro-slaVery
men in Kansas determining Yankee by
the pronunciation of the word 'scoW,n the
Yankee calling it "keow" His word is
calico, which he says he Tennesseans
uniformly pronounce '.kaliker." "A strang-
er rides up, and probably asks the prfvi-
lege Of spending the night at his house:
The old planter, before answering def
nite.y, pulls out singular piece of calico
from his vest pocket, and showing It te
the stranger, asks what be thinks of Il.
"Nhy, that's kalilIeT, ain'i Il g'' be nald-
rally asks. "iang ne, sir shenit re
old planter. you're from fennes
you can't stop here siF. yoa must ride onf'
We heard recently Of joke in con.
nection with the secession Of the Dis
unionists from the Charleston Convention
that is too good to be lost. A fussy dele
gate from Alabama, during the progress
Of the discussion on the platform; kept
whispering to delegate from the North
west that his State would be obliged 10
secede if the minority report carried:
VIII n the minority report was adopted,
adopted, he picked up his hat and de-
clared his purpose Of going-that he could
not stay any longer in the Convention. :.
His Western friend said the only c0nso-
lation be could give him would be found
in the fifth chapter and seventeenth verse
of Matthew, or in the seventeen chapter
and fifth verse, he did not recoHect which.
"What is the passage 2" said the Ala
bamian. "Secede and be d-d," was the
reply.-Cin. Enquirer.
"A fellow, the other lay, sold some
clothing to a Jew. After the sale had
been concluded, he said to him
"Do you know that they hang Jew
and a jackass together on the gallows in
England 2"
"Well, no, was the rejoindef; "but
aint it blessing that both Of Us amt
there, seeing that they might hang one
one account Of his nation aud the other
on account Of his natures"
in a cemetry, at Dunkirk, n. Y,
stone is erected over the "ashes" Of a
deceased old lady, on which her survivors
intended to write the epitaph, "Les her
rest in peace" The space gave out at
the end of the word "her," so that only
the initial letters Of the Femainded could
be inserted. Thus the dear old lady was
commended to the mould with the some.
what slangy inscription, "Let her Rip"
An indignant Frenchman in search
Of information, is said to have got of the
following: "Mine fren, have you seen
von leetle trunk, vat left tomorrow, as
/ viii come from ze steamboat by ze hotel?''
81 did not, monster, and expect to do so
the balance of the day." "By gar! If
ne geLS StOlSs VII XIII Ze TdSkaDIe vat
viii take him, till be choke. Sacre! Vat
a country's~
"A chap up country, speaking Of the
rainy season, the year he was married,
said, sit rained when he went courtinq,
rained when be got published, rained
when he got married, and squalled the
same night as he went after the doctor.
What tree represents a person who.
persists in incurring debts Willow,
(will owe
One ought to have dates at ones nm
ger-ends, seeing they grow upon the palm.
One hundred yards Of the raw silk
Of the silk worm does not weigh a grain.
An artificial florist lately described
himself as Head gardner to heladies."
No dust affects the eyes like gold
dust, and no glasses like brandy glasses.
Why is the world ike piano Be- d.
cause it is full Of sharps and fats.
Did the horseman who ascoured he
plain" use soap