The day book. [volume] (Norfolk, Va.) 1857-1867, 1860-03-21
Opposed to MatPimOny.


N.Y."
"Wal, no, l rather guees not, SEEM as
how my mother has had four husbands,
an stands a pretty smart chance to have
another"
"Four husbands! Is it possible?"
10, yesl You see, my mothers chris
tan name was Mehitable Sheets an dads
name was Jacob Press; and when they
got married the printer said it was put
tin the sheets to press. When l was
born they said it was the first edition.
An you see mother used to be the tarna-
list critter to go to evenin' meetin's. She
used to be out pretty late every night,
an dad was afraid I'd get in the same
habit, so he used toput me to bed at
early candle-light, cover me up with a
pillar, an put me to sleep with boot
jack. Wal, dad had to get up every
night an let mother in; if he didn't get
down an open the door pretty darned
quick when she cum, he'd ketch particu-
lar thunder; so dad used to sleep with.his
head cut Of the window, SOS to wake up
quick; an one night he got his head lit
tie too far out and he slipped out alto
gether; and down dad cum, oaaumux
right down on the pavement an smash
ed him in ten thousand piecesl'
"What was he killed by the fall?"
oval, no, not exactly killed by the
fall. rayther kinder'sorter guess it was
the sudden fetch up on the pavement
that killed him. But man she cum hum
an found him lynn thar, and she had
him swept up together an put in cof-
fin, and had a hole dug in the berryin'
groun', an had dad put in an buried
up, an had white oak plank put up to
his head an had it whitewashed over for
a tombstone"
$50 your mother was left a poor lone
widow"
"Wal, yes, but she didn't mind that
much, wasn't long before she married
Sam Hide; you see she married Hide be-
cause he was just dads size, an she wan
ted him to wear out dads clothes. Wal,
the way old Hide used to hide me was
caution to my hide. Hide had little
the toughest hide of any hide but bulls
hide. Wal, one day Hide got his hide so
full of whiskey that he pitched head first
into snow bank and there he stuck and
friz to death. So nam had him pulled
out, an had him laid out, an then she
had another hole dug in the burryin'
groun' an had him buried, an then she
had another white oak plank putsup at
his head and whitewashed all over,
an"
$50 your mother was again widow"
80, Yes, but l guess she didn't lay
awake long to think about it, for in about
three weeks she married Sam Strong
an he was the strongest-headed cuss you
eber did see. He went fishin' the oth-
er day and got drowned, an he was so
tarnal strong headed, III be darned to
darnation If he didn't float right agin
the current, an they found him about
three miles up tho stream an took three
yoke O cattle to haul him out. Wal,
mann had him buried alongside the 10th
er two, an had white 4, oak plank put
up at his head, an whitewashed all over
nice, SO there's three on 'em all in a row."
"And your mother was a widow for
the third timer"
Eyes, but man didn't seem to mind it
a tarnal sight. The next Teller she mar
ried was Jacob Hays, an the way man
| does make him haze, is caution l tell
ye. If he does any thing leetle out of
the way, mann makes him take bucket
an whitewash brush, an go right up to
the burryin' groun' and whitewash the
three oak planks, just to let him know
what he may come to when he's planted
in the same row, an she gifts married to
the fifth husband. So you see my family
arn't tarnal sight opposed to a dose of
matrimony''