Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1860-06-28
n8 Young doctors are sometimes pref

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far from standing if they had broken th
ice and got into large and lucrative pra'
ltice. 3d.. -.
A case in point occurred in our own goo
city of Gotham, less than hundred yea
ago, because it finds its way to US from tb
lips of friend who heard it. ~.s-s$
An old gouty, bipped, hypochrondrics
'irritant of a patient, in the absence Of hi
own physician, called in young but yer
talented new-beginner in the medical way
He is announced:
'How do you do, young man? You are
doctor, eh?' =
/ Il have studied the medical profession
sir, thoroughly, and for a young physician
have had my share of practice -
'Oh yes, I s'pose so. Yes, yes. Well
young man, let's see how much you know
What is the matter with me, now? You cal
tell that, can't you?
The young doctor stepped forward, tool
hold of his patients pulse, and said,
Il can better tell you what is the matte
With you when you tell me your symptoms.
siSymptomss! that is good one. I wan
you to tell me what is the matter with me
and you want me to tell you what is tn
matter with me. Sha'nt do it, so now g
ahead p
Thus prompted, still having hold of tn
old mans wrist, the young doctor said,
sYou have pains across your loins hav
you not, when you first get up in the morn
ing2
mo, sir; never had any thing of the kint
in my life, as I ever remember
sYou are subject, I should say, to occa
sional violent headaches; that arises, Mt
doubt, from
No matter about that; you can dry up OF
that point, for I am never troubled witt
headache
Let me look at your tongue. Ah
thought so. You are dyspeptic-fatulence
your digestive functions are out of order
I can soon remedy
Hold on nothing of the kind. I've got
the digestive powers of an anaconda?
The doctor dropped his patients wrist
in disgust. ..
perhaps you think l am quack, sir,
he said
'Ah !you have hit it now-you're right
for once, any way. You can't tell how | feel,
but you can't tell what think. Call your,
self sone of the Faculty.
And the old hypochondriac bowed his
visitor out of the house.
A BUSINESS QuAKER.-The Quakers
are, in the main, as every one knows, thrift.
ty, kind-hearted, and undoubtedly honest
people; but in some of them, even as among
the worlds honest people, love of filthy
lucre will predominant. In one of their
farming communities lived friend Benjamin
and his son. 1t was their custom to buy
up cattle 10 fatten for sale. One day Ben.
jamin, Jr., had selected choice portion Of
stock from passing drove, and was about
to buy, when Benjamin, Sr., came along.
Father, l am about, to buy these cattle ;
what does thee think of them?'
what does he ask? So much? 1 guess
thee'll get them for less; offer him $500,
and wait till morning, if he don't trade
Filial Ben asseuted-made an offer in
vain-went home with the old gentleman
-slept-and next morning, after caring for
the stock, mounted his horse to try again
to buy the cattle. But on the way he met
Benjamin, Sen., returning home with the
whole herd in question. Benjamin Sen,
was wealthy as we'll as smart-he had ia
ken-a an early start and bought the lot. -
Thee will let me have my portion, will
thee not !" asked flial Ben.
mo sonny, of course not; I've bought
the whole-waut 'em all. -
What isn't that hard trick to play thy
own sou and I trusted to theep
sAh, Benny said pater .fan,ilias, repro
vingly, 'thee must be sharp and wide awake;
trust nobody, Benjamin watch everybody !;
watch thy father, Benjamin; watch thy
father!
Quite likely for young Benjamin the ad
monitiou was needless theDceforward.
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