The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1860-05-04

men md alle giElss SO dFeadaNlY expen-
siye. You see fellow might As we II
sport pair Of fast horses As a fast wife.
Both very nice things, no donbt--for
those that can afford them. Ifit didn't
cost SO much "A pretty wife srcatd rather
add to ones importance--say nothing
Of keeping the stockings in order, and
getting up nice little dinners and
tempting breakfasts. Batthan between
the opera boxes, poke-bonnets, diamond
brooches and brocade dresses thai The
sweet creatures require, there wouldnA
be thread Of broadcloth left of any
unfortunate chap. A wife needsa new
dress brty times year, and . horse,
don't--tkat's the pLosophy Of the matt
ter. Oh, yes! matrimouy's decidedly
a fine thing, but two expensive BY half.
Ladies must really learn 10 haufin their
expenditures little, If they expect to
avoid being Odd maids
This what the delightful young Orea-
lures whom ssciety calls "eligible gen-
tlemen," glory in proclaiming on every
possible and impossible occasion. But
havan't the ladies a word or two on the
same subjectl 77
"Marry Augustus Jones3 Out of
the question entirely. Not bot what
he's nice young man enough-vhisz
kers just the right color and positive
genius At fate-pIay ing, But you see,
there arc other things which it's wo-
mans duty TO consider. Can ] oeord
itl Can reasonably expect, With orr.
income, to keep him in pegtoP trowf
sers and iyory-hesded cauesl Can
keep his cologne bottles filed, and bis
segar case supplied with tho bsst Colo
radios I Who's 70 foot his little bsls
for champagne and oyster supPers =
Who's to 90 to parties with him, head
ache er no headache, when hefeela like
society, and stay neekly at home 70
read the paper and sing to hHs, when;
ever he dou'tl Am ], who never could
hold my tongae for two consecutive
minutes at 4 time, % open aRd shss m.g
mouth only At the sovereign bidding Of
my husbanll Am |, whose gfsaIsst
pleasure in. life il in asking ahes'ieps,
70 hold my tongue WREN be comes y
late at night, aud never to faa out whe
gave him that dear little sprig Of He'd
otropeG Am I, who've always been
broughtup 10 believe that eyss were
made to be used, never to look At i
beaver hat without being frightened
out of a years growth BY Asgustus
indignant diattibesi Tseil yoa ! can's
afford it. No, sir, I'm not going q put
nv dsar little foot ID Il, without ciesr
understanding on the subject. II Tie
gentlemen will putthenselses snastated
silowanse Of tobacco and twoSses--iff
they viii spend jast 50 much per annaa
on Wines and political betting. we girls
might possibly Y-saye some of'ern froR
becoming snuffy bachelors. Otherwise
mo iss ea A8
Who cares if we are old maids--K
mean if We 10 live to become twenty-
five years old, without getting msrriedr
We have . pretty fair chance Of living
| III peace twenty FIVE more, which isn't
| the case If We are fastened TO extrava-
giant husban s.. s a0
Don't mean TO be severe, Augustus
I wouldn't hurt your feelings for the
world. Only, my dear little maa You
are 50 fast. Don't you think II wculd
be a mere manly life for you to be
splitting wood and carrying water for
your mamma, instead Of screwing up
your eye-glass at The girla on Broad
waya Well-regulated gkls would be
twice as apt tollke you. And wouldn't
Iit be better plan for you TO be read
ing Cornell's Geography By the back
parIor FIRE than driving on the Bloom
ington roadl Depend upon i, youE
chance for a good home, under the pro
lection Of a sensible wife would be .
! dozen to one greater. Nice rosy
. checked girls cah't afford 10 thFoN
!. themselves away on miserable, milk and
j water, lancer dancing, white hwnded
J good-for-nothing ]ack-a-dandies liks
you'll You are an expensive article
Augustus, and you won's wash ans
: wear. ~
II That's our way cf looking at tiI'
net. - - Ts5e Hlvxkfa1Sd.