Daily national Democrat., 1860-10-20
A Newspaper Story.


Some fellow-a collector for South Caro-
lima paper, and other periodcals-lately
threw up his commission, aud sent back the
unpaid accounts with "notes,' which the
spirit happened to lay hold Of and they were
represented in tangible shape to the world.
As they are living pictures met with here
and elsewhere, we make extracts. The col
lector says:
EDITOR HERALD OF TRUTH-Sm:- You
furnished me, as you recolect, with a list of
one hundred and seventeen paying subscri-
bers. | have called upon one hundred and
four of them and have the honor of paving
over to you the sum of three dollars and
twelve and one-half cents, being the amount
TO which you arc entitled | return YOU the
list numbered from one to one hundred and
sixteen, and now give the reply to each:
No. lis minister. lie says in the first
place he never got one half of the numbers,
"a lie, according to the account of the post
mastery and in the next place your ioker's
column was too scurrlous. Besides he knows
by the tone of your editorials that you drink.
lie wants nothing more to do with you-
never wants to hear from you again.
No. 2-ls in Jail for debt. He has not seen
half dollar for year. Says he would pay
with the utmost cheerfulness if he had the
money, but had TO borrow a shirt on last Sun
day. Adnires your paper wonderfully, and
hopes you will continue sending it to him.
lie wishes you to tax bold stand in favor of
the abolition of imprisonment for debt, as he
thinks 1t would be Il very popular move with
gentlemen in his situation. Sends his best
respects.
No. SIS young doctor Says your pa
Pel is beneath the notice Of a gentleman.-
Wouldn't give d-n for cart load. Says
you inserted an article rejecting on the pro-
fession Only wishes he could catch you
here-would make you smell - Is going to
persuade everybody that takes your paper to
stop it. Cussed your bill, says you may get
it the best way you can.
No 4-Is an old maid Says you are al
ways making a fling at single ladies of an
uncertain age Wouldn't pay you if she was
rolling in wealth, and you hadn't cash
enough to buy crust of bread Sent all the
papers she had back month ago, and saws
now she has sent them back, she don't owe
you anything Says she is even with you,
and intends to keep so until the day of iudg-
ment
No. 5-ls gambler Says he got complete
y cleaned out last week at the races. Couldn't
accommodate his grandmother with a half
dime if she was starving. Likes your paper
bly-would like it better if you pub
lished more races, and would occasionally
give an account of a cock fight. Hopes Won
won't think hard of him for not paying YOU
now, but has prospect of soon having some
loose change, as he is after rich young
greenhorn, who arrived here last week. Will
pay your bill out of the pluckings.
No. els an old drunkard. Hasn't got
any money, and never expects to have
Gathered up all the papers he had and sold
them for half pint of rum, to the grocery
keeper to wrap groceries in.
No. It's a magistrate. Swore he never
| owed You a cent, and told me l was a low
rascal for trying to swindle him in such
barefaced manner. Advised me to make
tracks in little less than no time, or he
would get out a warrant against me- as a
common cheat, and have me sent to prison.
Is by all odds the meanest man | have seen
yet. Never will go near him again.
No. SIS policeman. Says although you
profess to publish neutral paper, it is not
So Thinks he has seen considerable squint-
ing towards the side he isopposed to.
Ihe collector concludes with "accept my
resignation, and strike me from the list of
agents. | have been called swindler, ras-
cal, villain, and blood-sucker These are
some of the names they think proper to be-
stow upon me. l tried fighting awhile, and
! threshed some of your patrons like blazes,
and occasionally got licked like thunder my
self"