The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1860-04-04
CHIPS AND SHAVINGS.-


did dragons, they charge so.
Itis generally conceded, nowadays,
that tim makes the very best of belle metal.
If lady yawns half dozen times in
succession, young man, you may get your
hat.
What did blind weod,sawye- take to
restore his sight? He took his horse,
aud saw.
A wag wrote over the door of q school
house, 'she New England whaling in-
stitution."
Come here, Master Tommy, do you
know your A, B, C's?"-"Yiz, Eur, I
know bee sees."
What did the feather, when it FIRST
sprouted, say to the duck? Pm do,cn
on you this time.
"The only way to look at lady's faults,
exclaimed supergallant,' 'is to shut
your eyes,"
The man that broke his arm in pulling
whlskey punch out of tumbler, has
taken to a sling.
w The gentleman who rivets people
with his gaze, has been engaged in
boiler mandatory.
nen- The hardest situation is that of
grumbler, who feels like grumbling, and
has nothing to find fault with.
Call lady q "chicken," and ten to
one she is angry at you. Tell her she is |
mo chicken" and twenty to one she is
angrier..
w The woodman who spared that
tree came near freezing to death the past
winter on account of the scarcity of
wood.
A writer in one of our exchanges speaks
of friend of his that has always been
accustomed to the pen. Is the friend an
author or pig?
A dark prospect may be illustrated by
a black woman looking down dark alley
on a dark night, for niger baby, under
a stack of black cats.
An eminent connoisseur was offered
during dessert some grapes Thank
you," he said, lit is never my custom to
take my wine in pills"
Sir William Draper claimed to be de.
scended from Pepin the French king, aud
traced the pedigree thus: Pepin, Pipkin,
Napkin, Diaper, Draper.
"Warm day, Mr.. Jones, warm day.
said Mr.. Smith, as they met on Thanks
giving day. Eyes, it is" said Jones, 'it
is some warm if not summer"
Smith knocked Jones down.
A man, who don't believe the world is
growing better, says the time may come
when the lion and the lamb shall lie down
together, but if it does, the lamb will be
inside the lion.
Bill came running into the house the
other day, and asked eagerly, "Where
does Charity begir?" eat hone," re-
piled, in the words of the proverb "Not
by good DEAL" rejoined Bill; cit begins
at (CC
"A lazy, over.fed lad, returning from
his dinner to his work one day, was asked
by his master if be had no other motion
than that. EYES," replied the youth,
drawing out each letter, "but it is q little
slower"
Young Peapod fell in love yesterday.
Says be felt like barrel and half of new
maple sugar sliding down a rainbow.
CREASED with butter at forty cents pound.
Peapod soon after left to get his life in
sured.
aW Mr. Captain, said a son of Erin,
going on board vessel in the port of
Cork, you look SO much like the mate that
took you for the cook Will you be
after lending me the loan of your broad
axe to saw an empty barrel of -four III
two to make my COW pig pen?"
WA man who assisted to empty sew
eral bottles of wine, afterwards took walk
The pavements were quite icy. and he ex
claimed:
'V.ve.ry sing-lar; wh-whenever water
freezes, it alw's freezes with The sl-slippery
side up
If any of our readers find the hours
hanging heavily on their hands, the solu.
tion of the following question will afford
pleasant pastime, and may perhaps both
er the brain more than one would at first
suppose. Try it and see.
What four American coin make fifty
one cents, no more aud no less.
~ A merchant examining hogs.
head of hardware, on comparing it with
the invoice, found it all right except o
hammer less than the invoice.
"Och! dou't be throubled about that,
yer honor" said his Irish porter aud sure
the nagur tux it out to open the cask wild
it,"
The Man who wouldn't Pay the Printer.