Keowee courier. [volume] (Pickens Court House, S.C.) 1849-current, 1860-11-10


turning from church one Sabbath afternoon
was accosted by man:
"Sir, did you sec boy on the road dri.
wing cart with bag of cotton in it?"
g think | did" said the deacon, mus
ingy; ga boy with short memory, wasn't
he 2"
The man looked confused and said -
Why do you think he has short memory
sir ?"
The deacon seemed to enjoy his confusion,
aud even determined to increase il, " | think
so; and think moreover, that he must be-
long to family with short memories"
What in the world makes YOU say that 2"
said he, more pcrplcxcd than ever
Why simply this" said the old gentle
man, assuming, all OF sudden very grave
and solemn manner; because God Almigh-
ty has proclaimed from Mount Sinai among
other things, Remember the Sabblth day
to keep it holy" and he has forgotten all
about 1T, Ills memory was very short in
deed, very"
TuEM ERE LEGs-A fellow went down
to the city of Memphis to seek his fortune.
lie found, insteid, disease which gradually
saps life ina chronic form.
1t was with this,poor jim Bagly was picked
up. And month after month it tuggci until
at length he was but the outline of his former
sclt-a perfect skeleton.
a worthy minister saw the poor fellow. and
seeing that the king of terror had spotted him,
determined to call on him and offer spiritual
consolation. lie broachcd the important sub.
jcct somewhat thus:
81" My dear Mr.. Bagly, in view of your re-
lations with this life, how do YOU fecl?"
"D-n sick ~ was the rcply.
Don't swear, my poor friend" said the
Pnrs0In, " and let me ask you if you ever
think of your latter end ?"
Z" Lord - said Bagley, "I haiut thought
on anything else for morcn three months"
Not IN the right way, I'm afraid, Mr.
l5aSey beS you pause and reflect 1t is
time you had begun to wrcstle with the Lord -
The sick man looked down at his miscra,
Bile poker legs, extending before linn, and
with an expression of amazcmcnt in his coun
stenance, exclaimed
Rastle with the Lord what with them
ere lcgs?" pointing to his own" Why, par
son, he'd flip me into h-ll the very fust
pass"
The parsOn gave him up as a hardened
sinner.
AN INCONSISTENT HUSBAND -Blufkins
pretty wife. The other night, observing her
in all the amplitude of silk and crinoline. he
remarked, with emphasis--
"The error of this day, my dear, is to
spread out, to expand in short my dear, we
are greatly given to cxtravagonce,s and we
must pull in our expenses. In brief, Mrs
Blufkius, you must contract" aud he CLAMP.
ed his hands together, us though he wond
like to see her magnificent dress suddenly
contract in the same way.
" Contract" said Mrs Blufkins, Chow
inconsistent you are; /; the very thing you told
me not to do yesterday"
Me p roared the astonished husband
Yes, YOU" said the lady.
Now, madam, when did YOU ever purpose
to contract?"
Why, am doing it every hour, and yet
| can't please you"
How what z"
"Why, don't | contract debts frequently?
and you are always disp!cascd"
Blufkins closed the sermon for thatday.
------ -s--------
BEAUTIFUL, AND AS TRUE AS BEAUTI-
FUL--paul Denton, celebrated tinerant
Methodist preacher and missionary, in the
carly days of Texas, when that State, then q
NJ 1Xichn province, was the outlaws home,
Iected large crowd at a barbecue he had
promised, and where the pledge was given
that there should be plenty to drink of the
best of liquors Denton did this to collect'a
crowd that he might preach to them After
the barbecue was over, one of the bodest told
Paul that he had lied where is your liouor
Drawing himself up to his full height, his
eyes flashing with strange and unearthIy
eloqucnce, and pointing with his long finger
at the double spring which burst up at his
feet he thus broke forth in strain that re,
maincd unsurpassed
Therc-there is tho liquor which God
the Eternal brews for all His children"
Not in the simmering still over smoking
fires, cooked with poisonous gasses, and sur,
rounded with the stench.sickening odors, and
rank corruption, doth your. Father in heaven
prepare that precious essence of ifo-pure
| cold water. But in the green shades and
grassy dell, where the red deer wanders, the
child loves to play, whore God himself brcws
it, and down low, down ia the deepest VAL
Ieys where the fountains mnrmur, and the
'T-gEhlIs Ills and high upon the mountain tops whore
, where 69Tauito glitters like gold in theBun,
waves roar chorus, gtyI. music, where big
God there He brews it, bevcfss~ march of
health-giving water. 'r'---
3 q. And everywhere it is a thing of beauty
} cleaning in dew drop, singing in tho sum
! ner rain, shining in the ice gem till the tree
{ seem turning to living jewels, spreading
8 golden veil over the setting sun, or whit
i ouaze around the miduiohk moon s,,oytino |;