Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1860-03-09
FRIDAY. MARCH 8. 1860.
MIS- G. ELL AN Y.
Timothy Ti,comb's Advice to Young
Married People.


You are married, and iI is Tor better or
for worse. You are bound 60 one another
a. companion. for lie. Did It ever oc.
cur 10 you that ,hi. isa stupcndous. mo-
lnentou. fact7 Did you ever think tha,
since you came into the world, a preciou,
lump Of helpless life, tha, there is no fac, Of
your history which will so much aGsc, your
history this? do not propose TO inquire
into the motives which led 10 tbs union.
You may have come together like two
streams. aOwing naturally toward, one
point, aud then mnglins ,hcir waters with
scarcely a ripple, to pass together to the
gscai ocoan. You may have come together
under the wild s,re.s Of passion, or the Fec
Die attraction. OF fancy, or the sordii COM
pul.ions of interest, or by the force OF
love 80 pare tha, an angel would think
him',li in Heaven in ii' PR ncc. Blt TIC
time ior considering thc motives which have
united you is past. You ar married lor
better or for worse. The w,rl O.. spoken.
the boud j. sealed, and iho only question
now ls--how shall TIA. union be made TO
contribute the mos, to your happiness, ana
your best Development. Itisio au.wer this
question, a. well As can that write ,bi'
letter.
lon lave but one life TO live. aud no
amount Of money, or influence, or Auo.
can pay you for lie " unhaPpincss.
You cannot afford to 10 unhappy. You
cannot Afford to quarrel with one another.
You cannot afford u cherish single
thought, TO harb1r single desire, &, graii.
{, asiosle selfish feeling hat will tcnI 10
make thi. union anything buta ,ourcs Of
happluc.' TO you. - It becomes you, at
starting to have perfect unicr'tanliog
with one another l, become, you 10 r,
solve thar you will h. Happy, a, any rat,
or that, d! You suffer, il shall DO lr,m toe
same cause, and in perfect sympathy.
You are not 10 l,t any human being .,cn
b'tw'rn YOU, under any circumstances.
Neither father nor mother. neither brother
nor sister. neither friend nor n-ishbor
has any right q interfere with your reh.
,ion., ., long. At least, a, YOU arc Asr,.i
You twain ar 10 b. one ll,'h-ldentisl in
ohje,'., desires, synpithic', fortunes poi
iions--e,crythins. i1I are TO know no
closer friend. Now caro- not bow pre-
and genuine may be- thc l9', whiya ha.
br,l.lt You together, q you have any
chat.,t.rat 40. ypi v.,l GuI that thi, per.
i.ct union cjnno, l, Effected without clm.
promise. lluman character, by awi.' pro-
vision oi Prs,I-oce, il infinitely uri,d.
aul there urc not two individual. in
existence - entirely alike in their tastes.
hEbi. oi thought aud natural ap,tude-
that they can kc'P step with ono an
Other over oil the roogh places in the p',i
OF l,'c. - there must De a bcuiins to one
another. | suppose tho trii.- are few who
have not wcpt over the hasty words o, a
husband 10, six months msrusd; and !
.uppo., there hrc few husbands who IN the
carly par, Of their married llc ha,, no. Eel,
that perhaps their choice was no, wise
one.
Breaches of harmony vii occur between
imperlec, men aud women bat all the re.
sul,, may bs avoilsd by resolution. we'll
Asp, on ay'i ,.I-.. & ask the other. par.
don Tor every oT.n.e-ior the ha.ty us,
the p'e,t'h complaint, tie 6n'harrl pleas
ure-eycrythiug that awakcns an unpleas
Gnt thought. or wounds .en'ibili;y This
reparation mu., b. made at once and II
YOU have frank and worthy nature a quar-.
rel j. impossible My opinion Is tha, nine.
,y.nine oue.hunirci,hs Of to uuharrinr.'
of the connubal relation, i. thc ABSOLUTE
faul, and not. primarily, the misfortune of
the parties. You can bo happy together II
YOU will but the agreement to be happy
must be mutual. Tue compromi,s cannot
be all on ono side. It is mull,h pride m
men, and a sensitive will in women that
make. the principal difficulty IN all unh'P.
py cases. lay to every man aud woman
II YOU have done anything which has dis.
pleased your companion, bcs her or bis
pardon whether you were Intentionally
guilty or not. 1t is the cheapest and
quitkcs, way to settle tie business. One
confession makes way Tor another, and the
matter Is clOsci-clo'sd, most probably,
with the very sweetest kiss OF the season.
BE frank with one another. Many q
husband and wife 90 on from year 10 year
with thoughts in their hearts that they
hesitate 10 reveal TO Que another. IL you
have anything in your mini concerning
your companion that troubles you. out with
il. DO not brood over IL. Perhaps it can
be explained on the spot, anil the matter
forever pot TO rest. Draw your souls
closer and closer together, frUn year To
year. Get all obstacle. out OF the way.
jos, as soon ~ one arises, attend te it, and
get rld oft. At last they will all disap'
pear. You will become wonted to one
ano,ler's habits and frames Of mind and
peculiar ties Of disposition; aud love, re-
spec, and charity will take care Of the rest.
| insist on this, because It is the very first
essential thing. | in'is, on it, because |
believe lha, IT there be sufficient affinity be-
tween two persons 10 bring them together.
and to lead them TO unite their lives, It !.
their iauli II they fail TO live happily, aud
still more and more happily as the years