Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1860-05-19
Fact, Fancy and Fun.

ustlce Is a queer hSh-lt has but
single pair of scale.
S --Pugilism is like the ocean-full of
breakers ahead
An affectionate building. An ad-
vertlsement of new hotel says it en-
traces sixty rooms.
"A monument to John Bunyan, the
author of ''Pilgrim's Progress, is about
to be erected in London.
A quack advertises a compound
that will cure everything from bad
character to a bad temper.
The Lynn (Iass.) Reporter shows
that many diseases are prevented bv
wearing beard and mustache.
"A paragraph commences thus:
"Women in arms!''
Well, where should they be?
Why is Roger A. Pryor like a nat
ural curiosity?
Because he is mammoth cave.
"a retainer at the bar" as the boy
said when caught by dog Just as he
was trying to climb over the fence of
an orchard.
Man is the creature of circumstan-
ces which operates every hour on his
individual organization and makes him
what he is.
1t is said that hunger for gold gen.
orally increases with age. According
ly, we see that most of our old people
have it in their mouths.
In Brooklyn, recently, while boy
was undergoing amputation of limb,
his father was SO much affected that
the hair on one side of head turned
white.
Thomas Broche was recently ar
rested in Adrian, Mich, for marrying
SIX wives, one Of whom was a wench
and two others squaws. He went in
for variety.
Mrs. Swisshelm says that the pop
ularity Of her paper in Minnesota, is
due to the fact that people are always
expecting she viii say something she
ought not to.
1t is said that Tartars invite men
to drink by gently pulling their ears
A good many in Grand Rapids will
''take pulp without waiting to have
their ears pulled.
"A traveller says that he once be-
held people "minding their own busi-
ness" This happend at sea, while the
Ini1 TO
each others business.
Those who move in the higher
spheres Of the world, may be aptly
compared to those heavenly bodies Of
the armament which have much admi-
ration, but little or no rest.
Our country exchanges all contain
brief editorials headed, "Prepare for
the Census" 4 woman in this county
has done SO. She presented her hus-
band with two fire boys and girl.
A little girl after retiring to bed
with her mother, said: "Ia, / want to
pray" Whereupou her mother helped
her out Of bed, and she got upon her
knees and prayed thus: go, God! I
want my father to quit using tobacco
for Christ's sake. Amen."
A country par8on had singular
popularity Of expression, always using
the phrase 81 fatter myself" instead
Of Il believe" Having occasion to
exhort his congregation during a revi-
val, he 'fattered himself that more
than one half Of them would be damn
ed.''
MA said a young lady, "what is
emigration % ..',...
SEmigration, dear, is going to Aus
tralia."
"What is colonization %
"a young lady going to Australia
and raising family"
"Ma, I should Ike to colonize."
Tom during his last tour to Mag
ara in company with Smash, saw an
Indian hewing small piece Of timber,
with view Of making canes.
"Pray, sir" said Smash, s'to what
tribe do you belong?"
The Chip-a-way tribe,'' replied the
Indian, without looking up to his inter-
ogator.
Tom Tit remarked to Us the other
day, that the Ohio river had remark
ably long face. .... s.. >. -..
GLOW so?" we innocently inquired.
"Why, it is twelve hundred miles
from its iead to its mouth.
We gave Tom the stump of a cigar
we were smoking, and walked away
musinr.