The Ripley advertiser. [volume] (Ripley, Miss.) 1843-1897, 1860-04-11
Volume XVIII.
A Bachelor Reclaimed.
~ n. T. rUCKEKMAs.

IL
"You are determined no, to marryY"
Absolutely" ~
"And why ?"
"ln tho fra, place, I never expect
to be able TO support wife accord,
ing to my ideas of comfort. In the
second place. ! have no hope Of
meeting a woman who will .ympa-
thize sufficiently with my feeling. and
views to be congenial companion.
Thirdly, ] cannot bear the idea Of
adopting ~ constant associates the
relations Of her | may love; and
fourthIy consider housekeeping, and
all the details Of domestic arrange
ments, the greatest bore in existence. :"
This colloquy took place between
two young men, in the garden OF the
fashionable hotel at Saratoga. 1t
was a sultry afternoon, and they had
retired under the shade Of an apple
tree. to digest their dinner, which
process they were facilitating BY oc.
casionaIly putting some very mild.
Iight,brown Havana cigars. The
last remarks were uttered in a calm
and positive tone, by Mcneil, a phil
e optical and quiet gentleman, who
had most sensible theory for every
thing in life. Among other things,
he took great pleasure in the convic.
,ion that he thoroughly understood
himself. The first time bis interest
was truly excited by a member Of
the gentler sex, he had acted in the
most extravagant manner, and barely
escaped with honor from forming
most injudicious connection. To
guard against similar mishaps, he
had adopted very ingenius plan
Being uncommonly susceptible to fe.
male attractions, he made it a rule
when charmed by = sweet face, or
thrilled by a winning voice, to seek
for some personal defect or weakness
Of character in the creature, and Oh
.tinately dwell upon these defects,
until they cast a shade over tho re.
deeming traits and dissolved the spell
he feared. When this course failed,
he had but one resource. With Fal
staff, he thought discretion the better
par. Of vslor, and deliberately fed
from the alIurements that threatened
his peace. Thus he managed not to
allow love to take permanent pos
session, and, after various fal'e
alarms and exciting vigils, came TO
the conclusion that no long siege or
sudden attack world ever subdue the
citadel of hi. affections.
Bu, Mcneil had 10 braced himself
in a spirit ot resistance. that ne had
made M provisions against the un.
concious lure. Of beauty. lie could
chat for hours with celebrated belle,
and leave her without a sigh; ne
could smiIe at the captivating man.
ne,s which overcome his fellows
Regarding society a. a battle Held,
he wen, ,hi,her armed at all points
resolved to maintain his seIf.posses'
sion, and be on the watch against the
wi;es Of woman. He hal seen love-
" girls in the drawing room, follow
ed their graceful movements in the
dance, heard them breath songs OF
sentiment at the piano, and walked
beside them on the promenade. On
these occasions, he coolly formed an
estimate Of their several graces. per.
fectly appreciated every finely .chis:
srled nose and tempting lip. noted
with care the hue and expression Of
the eye, but walked proudly away at
parting, murmuring to himself, "All
this ! see, yet an, | not in love-"
But who can anticipate the weap'
on that shaIl lay him low, or make
adequate provisions against the mex.
hsustible resources oflove? Mcneil
had sat for a week at table, opposite
an invalid widow and her daughter.
He had passed them potatoes not less
than q dozen times and helped tue
young lady twice to cherry pie. The
only impression he had derived from
their demesnor and appearance was
that they were very genteel and
quiet. On the morning after this con.
versation in the garden, he awaked
lust before sunrise, and found himself
lying with bis face to the wall, in one
Of the diminutive chambers in which
visitors at springs are &C unceremonl-
ousIy packed. His eyes opened with
in six inches Of the plaster; and he
amused himself for some minutes in
con;uring tho cracks and veins it dis.
played into imaginary for,us Of war
riors and animals. At length bis
mind reverted to himself and his pres |
ent quarters. Wsll!I I've been here
lust q fortnight" thus he mu.ed, "and
\ pretty dull time I've had oft. Day
alter day, the same stupid roufine.-
In the morning ! swallow six glasses
Of Congress water at the spring, with
lhe hollow eyes Of that sick m'nIster
from Connecticut glaring on me like
a serpent, and the die.awsy tones Of
that nervous lady from Philadelphia
like q kneIi 10 my ears.
cannot drink in peace for those ever
as,ing Misses Hill, who oil three
chatter a, once. And expect me to be
entertaining and tslka,ives 80 early
u the morning. with my stomach full
If cold liquid, and . long dull day In
Then comes breakfast.
rhe clatter Of plates, the murmur OF
,oices, the ru.hing Of the blackwsit.
re. and the variety Of stearns, make
ne glad to retreat. | find q still
rsl. ,;..~~ and heuin IN re- AL. /