The constitutional union., 1860-11-30
ALL SORTS OF PARAGRAPHS.


 4 ShJt-less concern.
 When is thunder like an onion? When 1t comes peal on peal.
 "Nevcr saw such stirring timcs,' as tho spoon said to the saucepan.
 Prentice defines the slavery issue to be about 25,O00 nigger babies a year"
 Misery loves company, and so does mar riageabIo young lady.
 Among the latest literary curiosities are " Lines on the death of an unborn infant"
 One ought to have dates at ones fingers ends, seeing they grow upon the palm.
 The shortest article we ever saw in a news paper was the article a-and perhaps the best.
 Raising the wind" is now denominated more classically exciting the financial 1Eous"
 If petticoat government is more oppressive than formerly, it is certainly double in extent.
 Why was St. John preaching in the will dernes8 like our copper coin? Because 1t was one sent by God.
 If dirt was trumps, what hand you would hold" said Lamb to filthy partner at whist.
 A new poem by Coventry Patmore is an- nounced in London; it is called Faithful Forever"
 Why had man better lose his arm than his leg? Because, losing his his leg he loses something to boot"
 An apple tree in Norwich, Connecticut, which has had neither bud, bIossem nor fruit all summer, Is now in full bloom.
 Barnum is going to open new museum in Philadelphia after the manner of his famous institution in New York.
 A San Salvador paper says that more than fifty shocks of earthquake were experienced there on the Fist of July.
 Why are country girls cheeks like French calico? Because they are warranted to wash and retain their color.
 Never strike children on the, head since Providence has supplied them with so much more suitable place for punishment,
 The young lady with speaking eyes, has become quite hoarse, in consequence of using them too much.
 4 punster passing by the shop of Mr. Tas- well, observed that his name would be spelt As-well without the T.
 The man who planted dagger in his enc my's breast, raised crop of hemp that ele- yated him in the world.
 If you wish to cure a scolding wife, never fail to laugh at her with all your might until she ceases-thcn kiss her. Sure cure
 A young lady was asked how she could pos sibly afford, in these awful hard times to take music lessons, Oh, 1 confne myself to the low notes
 A schoolmaster asked one of his fair pu- pils, Gan you decline a kiss?" Dropping a perplcxed courtesy, she modestly replied, Yes, sir; but l don't like to-
 A man arrested in Virginia for being en- gagged at Hmpers Ferry, replied, 'He did not know Harper, nor where he kept his d-d old Ferry"
 The Princess MathiIde, cousin of the Elm peror, has, like Pauline another member of the Bonaparte family, been sitting nude to an artist for her picture
 ''Woman is at the bottom of all mischief" Yes" said Frank, "and when 1 used to get into mischief my mother wouldsoon be at the bottom of me"
 Rev. Charles B, Parsons, the actor preach CT and Roaring Ralph Stockpole," of di- vines has abandoned the Methodist for the Episcopal church.
 The original MSS. of Burns immortal Scots wha hae' was to be sold, with other relics, at auction in London on the 10th instant.
 A young lady says the reason she carries parasol is that the sun Is of the masculine gender and she cannot withstand his ardent glances.
 When you negotiate for house having all the modern Improvements, you will, as gen eral thing, find that mortgage is one of them.
 If a young lady has thousand acres of val uable land, the young men are apt to conclude that there are sufficient grounds for attach mcnt. 1 Many man thinks 1t virtue that keeps him from turning a rascal, when it is only a 1 full stomach One should be careful and not mistake potatoes for principles
 A man having been frequently convicted, in Perth, Scotland, of stealing spades, justly acquired the sobriquet of the knaye of spades"
 It is a pleasant thing to see roses and lilies glowing upon young ladys cheek, but bad sign to see mans face break up in blos- sons.
 Somebody says a baby laughing in it's dreams Is conyersing with angels. Perhaps so-but we have seen them crying in their waking hours as though they were having spat with the devil.
 A speaker at a stump meeting declared that he knew no East, no West, no North, no South Then" said bystander, "you ought to go to school and learn your geogra- phy."
 At a recent festive meeting, a married man, who ought to have known better, proposed