Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1860-09-29

Fact, Fancy end Fun.

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The discontented man finds no
easy chair.
Birch gads sfter ali make the best
baby jumpers.
Great minds have purposes, others
have only wishes.
- Said conceited young lady
~ Oh men are cou.t.,ts set"
He is q good collector who can,
upon all occasions, collect bis wits.
Some malicious persons assert the
letters NJ. D., to mean "Aoney Down"
He who puts bad construction
upon good act, reveals his own wick
edness ut heart.
-Ingratitude ia SO deadly a poison
that it destroys the very bosom in
which it is harbored.
- Oftentimes the "fastest" Young
men are the most easily overtaken BY
the galIoping consumption.
Probably the reason why so littla
was written in the dark ages, was that
people couldn't see to write.
Thousands Of friends jump into
the scale of prosperity. In a1yersity,
their friendship goes up like dust.
What makes a LAWYER. position
so pcriloas! Because he has other
mems deeds to answer 1or as weN 80
his own.
Young man, II dul, weather affects
yoil, marry q warm-hearted girl and
commence manufacturing sunshine tor
yourself.
flake away my frs: letter, take
away my second letter, take away all
my letters, and | am still TIE same
The Postman.
Never take morning bittcrs. Nom
ing sweets, 20 you leave the house, are
much better, and kiss from your wife
makes the best.
Many beautiful women, when wal.
king in the street seem very angry if
they are gazaa at and sadly disappoint-
ed if they are not.
Fish, at least, if no other ANIMALS,
have cause to believe that it is a bad
practice to think Of rising in life upon
somebody else's hook.
Never meet trouble half way, nut
let him have the whole walk for hi.
pains. Very likely he may give up
his visit in sight Of the house.
Am Arkansas traveller saws he knew
a Young fellow down south, who was
so fond of a young wouan that he rub
| bed off his nose in kissing her shadow
On the wall.
--Aint it wicked to rob dis chicken
roos, jim?
OATS great moral question, Gum
bo, we haint no time to argue j. now
hand down annodder p,llet.
Brother Jonathan thus describes
Il steamboat: ''Its got a saw mill on
one side and grist mill on t'other,
and blacksmith shop in the middle
and down cellar there is a great pot
boiling all the time.
--jerroll was enjoying drive the
other day with jovial Spenthrift.
well. Jerrold," said be, "what do
you think Of my grays?'
"Io tell you the truth" " said JerroldI
Il was just thinking of your du,as !''
1--WE ell, you've been ont to look at
Texas; did YOU see anythin. of our
friend -- there s'
"Yes-gone deranged."
ssGone deranged: Really crazy?-
What does he dos"
eyes, indeed; he don't know his
neighbors hogs from his own"
The new name which Mr.. Doug
las has given himself, 'sThe Littl. Suck:
er," explains the anxiety he has for
some weeks past displayed in search Of
his mother.-Es
And for his liberal use of the toUle
during the prolonged separation from
his "maternal. - C0acinnati Gazette.
"A minister had a quarrel with one
Of his parishoners by the uame of Har.
dy, who showed considerable resent
nlent. On the succeeding Sunday the
divine preached from the following
text, which he pronounced with great
emphasis, and with,a significant look
at Hardy, who was present:
There is no fool ike the fool Har-
dy."
GooD!-One Of the papers which
heard that it was nniversalst preach
e. WHOM, Mrs. Cunningham Bardelhsd
married, says: