The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1860-01-11
About Cats.

OF 0uY dwelling. We gave notice that
we had wasted more wood on then
than we could spare--that we had
used up all the briekbatsthat we could
lay our hands on--that we had thrown
away something like a ton of coal
and had smashed window on the on
posite block. All this proving of nc
avail, we said we had got a double
barreled gun and percussion caps, and
powder and shot, and some morning
after moonlight night, somebody IS
cat wouldn't come home TO breakfast,
or if it did would be troubled with the
dumps. We gave fair notice of our
grievances, and what we intended to
do about them.
Well, the moon came up on Monday
night, with her great, round face, and
went walking up the sky with queen
" step, throwing her light, like man.
tie of brightness over the whole earth.
Welov the calm of moonlight night,
in the still Spring time, and the cats
of our part of the town love it too !;
for they come from every quarter
from the sheds around the National
Garden-from the kitchen and the
stables-creeping steaithily and softly
along the tops of the fences and along
the sheds, and clambering up the
boards that lean against the out build
ings, they set themselves down, more
or less of them in their old trysting
place-right opposite our chamber
window. To all this we had in the
abstract, no objection. If a cat wish
es to take a quiet walk by moonlight
If he chooses to go out for his plea
sure or his profit, it is no particular
business Of ours, and we hayn't word
to say.
Cats have rights, and we have no
disposition to interfere them. But
they must keep the peace. They must
get up no disorderly meetings, no un-
lawful assemblies. If they choose to
hold a a convention, they can do it for.
all Of us-but they must go about it
decently an in order. They must talk
matters over calmly /; there must be
no rioting, no fighting They must
refrain from the use of profane language
they mustn't swear. There's law
against all this, and we warned them
long ago that we would stand no such
nonsense. We said we'd let drive
among them with a double -barreled
gun loaded with powder ard duck
shot, and we meant it. But those
cats didn't believe a word we said.
They didn't believe we had any gun,
or knew how to use it if we had
And one great Maltese with eyes like
tea plates, and tail like a Bologna
sausage grinned and sputtered, and
spit in derision and defiance at our
threats. " Very well, said we, "yery
well, Mr.. Tom Cat, very well indeed
On your devoted head be it, Mr.. Tom
Cat just try it on Mr.. Thomas Cat,
and see who will get the worst of it,
We said the moon came up on Mon
day night with her great round face;
and all the little stars hid themselves,
as if ashamed of their twinkle to the
splendor Of her superior brightness.
We retired, after the baby had been
put to sleep in his crib, and the rum
BILE of the carriages and carts had
ceased in the streets, and the scream
of the 10 o'clock train had died away
into silence, with quiet conscience,
and in confidence that we should find
that repose to which one who had
wronged no man during the day is
justly entitled.
1t may have been IL o'clock, posi-
bly, midnight, when we were awakened
from pleasant slumber by babel of
unearthly sounds in the rear OF our
chamber We knew what these sounds
meant they had cost us fuel enough
to have lasted US week We raised
the window, and there, as of old, right
opposite US, on the north end of that
long shed, was an assemblage Of all
the cats in our part of the town.
We won't be precise as to numbers,
but it is our honest belief that there
were less than 800 Of them; and one
among them all was silent, we didn't
succeed in discovering which it was.
There was that same old Maltese, with
his great saucer eyes and sausage tail !;
and over against him sat a monstrous
hrindle !; and off at his right was an
old spotted ratter aud on his left was
one, black as a VOLTS mouth, all bnt
his eyes which glared with sulphur
Gus and lurid brightness; and dotted
all around, over space Of thirty feet
square, were dozens Of all sizes ane
colors and such growing and spit.
ting, and shrieking aud swearing, nev,
er before broke with hideous discord
the silence Of midnight
We loaded our double barrelled gun
by candle-light. We put plenty Of pow
der and handful of shot into eacl
/ barrel. We adjusted the caps care
fully, and stepped out of the window