Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1860-06-07
fatt. fua & fanfg,
=. What key opens the gate to misery 2
Whiskey? go = - ! !

4 ~ lb Is SdlQ tudG Lue Aduhoe Hno "oo o.
the point of death, Whitfield it off with his
jack knife and got well. ,..a
-" In raising the heart above despair, an
old violin is worth four doctors and two
apothecary shops.
"A punster, passing BY the shop OF Mr.
Taswell, observed that his name would be
As.well without the T. -. ...,,..,
An old lady being asked to take news
paper, declined on the ground that when she
wanted news she manufactured it.
-. Never condemn friend unheard OF
without letting him know his accuser and
the charged preferred against him.
The Cuban women never speak, i'll Of
each other, but always find some palliation
for the errors of their SEX. -.4.. 2. g
IF philantrophy is properly defined to
be love of mankind, most women have an
unequivocal title to be considered philan'
thropists. ss--
=" One good deed cannot compensate fol-
a life of crime; a single ounce of gum is
not enough to embalm a whole catacomb Of
mummies.
-. is in vain to hopeto please all alike
Let man stand with his face in what d.
rection he will, he must necessarily turn
his back upon half the world. .... y. ..
=. Which is the way to health, the Hy'
dro-path, the Allo.path, or the Home-path
Where there are so many paths, it is hard
to know which to follow. = &, ,sy
Don't judge of moral character by the
face. The frog is more innocent than many
an animal that has much handsomer phys
iognomy.
During an examination, a medical stu.
dent being asked the question, when does
notification ensueT replied: when you
pop the question, and are answered mo-
." Few people thank you for praising the
qualities they really possess. To win their
hearts you must eulogize those qualities in
which they are deficient. =
-. There is a relief in ridicule and good.
natured satire. Laughing at the miscon'
duct of the word will in great measure,
ease us of any disagreeable passion about it.
The New York Day Book says: .Ii
your wife wanted to run away with another
man, we would wish her Godspeed, for we
think too much of her to see her want fol-
anything
-. A young man by the name of johnson
has been arrested in Albany, for perpetra-
ting new dodge He fastened bristles
on the tail of rat, and then sold him for
squirrel.
-. Sorrows and disturbances, in some
minds, produce the effects of fermentation,
leaving that which is wholesome, sound and
clear; in Others, those of effervescence, re-
sulting in Aatness, vapidity and inanition.
1t is law, or custom, which amounts
to the same. thing with the Japanese, that
every man is bound to leave on his grounds
as many trees as he found, and if he cuts
one down, to plant another in its place.
"A London witness, having described
himself as spenman,' was asked in what
department of literature he welded his pen,
and he replied that he penned sheep in the
Smithfeld market. -. 80, 80 49,
." Narrow-minded men, who have not a
thought beyond the little sphere of their
own vision, recall the Hindoo saying -
The snail sees nothing but its own she'll,
and thinks it the grandest in the universe
"A young man visiting prison, in
Maine, inquired of some of the prisoners
the cause of their being in such place
A small girls answer was,.. 'tbat she stole a
saw-mill, and went back after the pond and
was arrested
-. A man who is apprehensive of receiv.
ing insults is conscious of deserving them.
True dignity never can be approached with
out respect; it has coat of mail which al
ways keep ata distance the contemplate
intruder.
"A lady who had been subpenad as a
witness on trial, asked her husband, in
great trepidatiop, what she would say if
the lawyers inquired her age. Say he
replied 'wby tell them you haven't yet
reached the years of discretion
"A sturdy looking man in Cleveland a
short time since, while busily engaged in
cow-hiding dandy, who had insulted his
daughter, being asked what he was doing,
replied: 'Cutting q sa0eU9 and continued
his amusement without further interruption.
-. Two things we'll considered, would pre-
vent many quarrels; First to have it well
ascertained whether we are not disputing
about terms rather than things and second
ly, to examine whether that on which we
differ is worth contending about.
"A corpulent clergyman rose at pub
lie dinner to return thanks, which he did
by laying his hands imploringly on his
stomach, and saying, I'VE thank Thee for
these blessings so bountifully spread, and
our capacity to enjoy them.
when the heart is chilled and harden
ed, we would give the world for those sweet
and warm emotions which are the fruits ard
the rewards of virtue, and we sometimes
mistake this yearning after what might have
been ours, if we had earned it, for virtue it,
self.
:" A man that hath no virtue in himself
ever envieth virtue in others, for men S
minds will either feed upon their own good,
or upon others evil and who wanteth the
one will prey upon the other.-Lord Ba.
con-
=" A clergyman, while engaged in cate
chising number of boys in class, asked
one of them the definition of matrimony-
The boy replied: "A place of punishment
where some folks suffer for long time be-
IL