The Grand Haven news. [volume] (Grand Haven, Mich.) 1858-18??, 1860-08-08
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.
= Spring touics-pure air and exer-

- The man who {" took a walk" the
otner day, brought it back again.
Ar There are two sorts Of police-thc
detective and detective.
= 1t costs moro to revenge injuries
than to bear them.
- To win cat and lose COW, OK
presses the folly Of going to law.
- Railroad extravagance-hiring n
corps of men to break up the trains.
= When the winds of applause blow
fresh and strong, then steer with steady
hand.
- n man in the Detroit Jail wishes he
had the small pox, so that he could break
out.
= The man who undertook 10 blast
his neighbors prospects, used too short a
fuse, and got blown up himself
= How should father bring up his
children to avoid tho seats of Depravi-
ty! Bring them up standing.
- Every plain girl has one consola-
ton; though not pretty young lady,
she will, if she lives, be pretty old one.
- In Europe, people tako off their
hats to great men. In America great
men lift their hats to tho people-boforc
election.
= Swinging is said by tho doctors to
be good exercise for the health; but how
many poor wretch has come to bis death
by it.
- A benevolent old gentleman used
TO give away wood to the poor by the cord,
in order rs he said to have il recorded
above.
= A short time ago, man became so
completely wrapped in thought" that
he was tied up, labeled and sent of on q
" train of IDEAS"
= Past services should never be for
gotten, as the preacher said when he
preached the same sermon for the twen-
tioth time.
= A brother editor tells us that when
ho was in prison for libcling justice of
the peace, he was requested by tho jailor
: to give the prison a puff.
Il - The dentists of Indiana are about
TO form State association. Their seal
will be molar, with tho motto, We
pull together"
- Curiositios wanted-1. A handle
for a blade of grass. 2. A lcttcr written
with cow-pen. 8. A letter from the
wing Of hospital.
Lady Mary Wortloy Montague says
that the only thing which rcconciles hel
to being woman is, that she will nevel
bo obliged 10 marry one.
: - Florence Nightingale has given The
public Notes on Nursing. Most married
y men have heard notes on the same sub
j ject from younger birds.
+ - A young man stepped into book
o store and said he wanted to get "Youn!
y Mans Companion" "Wcl, sir" sai'
= the bookseller, here's my daughter"
n Never lay stumbling block in tn
$ way of man who is trying to advanc
T. himself honestly and uprightly; for h
o is likely TO walk over and laugh at yo
+" afterwards.
!, - One gentleman said to another, q
- a low-in-thc-nock dressed party, "Did yo
y ever sec such glorious sight before ~
"No," said he, "nover, since l wa
weaned."
a -"Why do you always beat me dow
y in my prices!" because you arc va
+" gar fraction of humanity, and a vulg;
70 fraction should be reduced to its lowe
Vi TERMS"
" = A lady went to circus the oth'
!; day, and was much embarrassed lest hC
!, class leader should hear of her being ther
N Tho leader was very much embanassc
=. ~ in finding her there.
o. = A householder in q western villag
to in filling up his census schedule under Il
Vs. column headed, "Where born," describe
one of his children rs born sin tho pa
lor," and tho other sup stairs"
- "Tommy, my son, what are you d
he ING there, with your 1ceI i'll TIC "aIc'
u "Trying to catch cold, ma, so that | mI
tv have some moro of those cough lozenge
i'd that you gave me yesterday"
er, - 1t is fair step towards happinc
lot and virtue, to delight in the company NJ
he conversation of good men, and when tho
lp- cannot be had, it is better to keep no col
'ut pany at all.
~ y =" Ike, | heard that you have a NJ
' litter Of fine breed w
eyes, l have"
"Well, Ike, just put my name do
Dol for puppy"
+" Sam, set you down for one sol
bo time ago"
- There arc various sorts of bugs,g'
tlemen, in this buggy sphere. There
big bugs, little bugs, hum-bugs, tumb
bugs, straddle-bugs, bed-bugs, and b'
nc, bears. But you needn't scratch aoC
much TO find any of these; for they
,;r or. tI,;cLor thnn skiDDerS IN