davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Daily Democrat and news. [volume] (Davenport, Iowa) 1859-1864, 1860-03-29

Hook AND LADDER.-It will not do
to forget that Ball of the Hook and Ladder
Company at the German Theatre to morrow
night. The boys want q good alarm II, and
take this method of raising the means to pur-
chase it. The Ball is. therefore. a matter in
which all citizens are more or less interested,
Daily Democrat and news. [volume] (Davenport, Iowa) 1859-1864, 1860-03-29
CARRIAGE MANDATORY.

March ], 1850
Monmouth weekly herald. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1854-1860, 1860-01-19
Advice through the Keyhole.

There was once young shoemaker
who became so much interested in idle
tales that his shop was filled with loun
gers talking and discussing and disputng
about one thing and another from morn,
till night ; and he found it often neces
sary to work till midnight to make up for
the lost hours during the day.
One night after his shutters were
closed, and he was busy on his bench, a
boy passing along put his mouth to the
keyhole and mischievously piped out,
+" Shoemaker, shoemaker work by night,
and run about all day." Had pistol
been fired off at my carr he said,
could not have been more startled. |
dropped my work, saying to myself
True, true, but you never shall have
that to say of me again. / never forgot
it. 10 me it was as the voice of God,
and 1T has been word in season through
out my life. | learaed from it not to
leave till tomorrow the work of to day,
or to be idle when ought to be work
Ing. From that time | turned over a
new leaf"
Monmouth weekly herald. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1854-1860, 1860-01-19
" A little nonsense. now and then
Is relished by the wisest men,

RAISING HIMSELF BY THE SEAT OF HIS
ANTs.-Truman K. was as good a me.
chanic as ever showed jack plain. One
day Truman and shopma of his were
arguing the practicablIity of the manu-.
facture Of perpetual notion" Shop.
mate was skeptical on the subject and
delivered himself thus
When man can lift himself by the
seat of his trousers. then. an! not till
then. can perpetual motion be made"
Well, said Truman, " can do that
myself and Iii oct you dollar caa do
it fairly"
Done" said the shopmatc, here IS
my dollar"
The two dollars were put up in a by
stander's hands.
Truman Immediately pulled of his
pants, tied the legs Of them over beam,
just above his head, tightly grasped Them
by the seat. and raised himself from the
floor by main strength. Shopmate &C.
knowledged the corn, and gave up the
dollar. but wether his belief in perpetu..
al motion" was in anywise changed, we
cannot voueh.
Monmouth weekly herald. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1854-1860, 1860-01-19
Our Sorap 8ook
An Infant Baboon.

The following curious account of a
baboon family is translated from recent
French work. by M. Boitard, for =" Good
rich's Illustrated Natural History -
There have been and still are in the
Menagerle Of the Garden Plants. Paris,
a number of balloons, and four years ago.
a female who had young one, furnished
one OF the most amusing and singular
spectacles | ever witnessed. She was
placed with it in cage, near the one
she formerly occupied with several other
animals of the same species. The infant
baboorhwas hideously ugly, but she law
ished upon it most tender caresses.-
When it was eight days old, the door of
communication was opened and her male
entered. The mother seated in the mid.
die of the cage, held the young heir in
her arms precisely as nurse would do
under similar circumstances. The hap
Ply father approached and embraced his
mate with French gallantry. giving her a
kiss upon each side of the face he then
kissed the little one, and sat down oppo-
site to the mother, SO that their knees
touched each other. They then began
to move their lips with great rapidly
taking the young one from each others
arms as if they were having most ami
mated conversation concerning it.
The door was again opened. and the
baboon friends entered one after another,
each embracing the mother. who, how
ever, would not allow them to touch
the young one. They seated themselves
in a circle and moved their lips, as if
facilitating the happy couple on the ar
rival of the son and heir, and perhaps
finding in it marvellous resemblance
to either the father or mother. This scene
was much like that which often takes
place in the human family on similar occa
sions, except the fluctuations were more
heartfelt and genuine on the part of the
brutes than on any OF their favored pro-
totypes.
All the balloons wished to caress the
young one but no sooner did one of
them put forward his hand than good
slap from the mother warmed him of his
indiscretion. Those who were placed
behind her stretched their hand cut
silly, slid it under her arm, and succeed
ed sometimes to their great joy, in touch
ing the little one without the mother
perceiving it, particularly when she was
engaged in conversation. But smart
correction soon taught them that their
indescretion was observed, and they
quickly retreated. 1t was evident that
the monkey mother, thoroughly acquaint-
ed with the requirements Of her position,
knew perfectly we'll how to divide her
attention between her guests and her in
FAINT charge.
Monmouth weekly herald. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1854-1860, 1860-01-19
A Dollar or Two.

We clip the following sensible article
from an exchange, and think it has hit
the right place for making the times
easy:
Give all the editors I" a dollar or two
to carry in their pocket ard hopeful
ray CT mental sunshine will soon light
up their depressed and Responding spir-
its, and directly you may read in their
papers of a change" in the financial
condition of the country. This will
induce timid capitalists and bankers
to put out their funds which they called
in-manufacturers TO hoist the gates and
start the wheels of machinery, and thus
give honorable employment to honest
hands. This will create demand for
agricultural produce, for home consump-
ton, put money into the pockets of far
mers. and they in return pay the printer,
the storekeeper, the shoemaker, the
blacksmith. the schoolmaster and others.
Try it. There is no less money in the
world now, but much more than at any
previous time. All that is necessary to
restore business is simply to restore con-
idence and put the money now buried
up or lying idle, into active circulation.
If you owe the printer dollar for his
paper, or for advertising, pay him
promptly-the whole if you can-part
anyhoac, and he will, in return, pay those
to whom he is Indebted and thus through
out all the ramiications of business, new
life and activity would at once be mani
tested. Send US dollar or two and try
it.
Monmouth weekly herald. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1854-1860, 1860-01-19
Gen. Washington in a Very Tight
Place.

There is fine equestrian statute of
Washington in Union Square, New York
City. 1t was placed there by private
subscriptions on the part of wealthy
persons living in that ghborhood. -
At the corner of Broadway and --tli
streets. lived close listed millionaire,
whom we shall call Judge Doe General
H, who was the active man in solicf.
ting the subscriptions aforesaid, called
upon Judge Doe, to get his name down
for five hundred dollars.
Five hundred doIarsr' exclaimed
the Judge; why, my dear sir. it's pre-
posterous; it won't pay; of what service
will to me will such statute ever be ?"
The General went into a highly patriotic
and exceedingly eloquent argument in
behalf of the subscription; but in vain.
AT last the Judge rose, and, after pro.
nouncing an equally eloquent eulogium on
Washington, exclaimed
" Washington! Washington laying
his hand over his heart, l have no need
of any statute of Washington, for 1 al
ways have, and ever will carry him
herel' Striking his breast)
"Well, Judge" said the solicitor of
the subscription, Il hvae no reason to
doubt what you say; only it seems to me
that if you do carry Washington there,
you've got him in very tight placer
Monmouth weekly herald. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1854-1860, 1860-01-19
Facts for Farmers.

If you invest money in tools, and then
leave them exposed to the weather, it is
the same as loaning money to a spend.
thrift without security loss in both
cases."
If you invest money in books, and
never read them. it is the same as putt
ing your money into a bank, but never
drawing either principal or interest.
If you invest money in fine stock, and
do not feed and protect them, and prop
erly care for them. it is the same as
putting good hand into the field with
poor tools to work with.
If you invest your money in a good
farm, and do not so cultivate it we'll, it
is the same as marrying good wife, and
so abusing and enslaving her as to crush
her energies and break her heart.
If you invest yonr monev in a fine
house, and do not so cultivate your mind
and taste so as to adorn it with intelli-
gence and refinement, it is as if pillow
man were to sit at jewelers. table to
make and adjust hair-springs.
If you invest your money in strong
drink. it is the same as turning hungry
hogs into growing cornield-ruin will
follow in both cases.
If you inaest your money in every new
wonder that flaming circulars proclaim,
it is the same as buying tickets at lot.
terly office where there are ten blanks to
one prize.
If you invest your money in the last
novel" it is the same as employing tail
or's dandy to dig your potatoes.
Monmouth weekly herald. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1854-1860, 1860-01-19

esA@A solid Dutchman was standing
at certain place last election dav, in
curing for de reglar democratic dicket,'
when shrewd fellow Instantly stepped
up and supplied him with the genuine
thing.
Veil, now" said Hans, vat will l.
do nit, i'm ?"
" Put it in that box" pointing to the
ballot box, exclaimed several voices. But
the cunning chap who had Accommodated
him with the didket,' whispered in his,
ear
" Don't you let them fool you don't
put it in the box keep it put it in
your pocket it's yours don't let them
cheat you out of your vote" And so he
did, ramming the ticket away down to the
bottom of deep pocket in his coat, and
walking off as mad as he could be at the
rogues who wanted to cheat him out his
vote by putting it in the ballot.
box.
Monmouth weekly herald. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1854-1860, 1860-01-19

feetly Ger the slippery street, it was of all
Others, the object of attraction laughed
as though their sides would crack, but none
was better pleased, or enjoyed the sport
more than Tyler" Butcher.
Now, who of our readers will say that
"Tyler" Butcher is not worthy of this notice,
if he is a dag. There are many twoegged
dogs whose names are continually paraded
before the public, Who if their claims to pub
lie regard were thrown in with, and properly
sifted, would fall far short of his-and unlike
many such, we venture to say, that should
this sketch fall under his notice, "Tyler"
Butcher will not in consequence of the dis
tinction, assume unnatural and foolish airs,
and stick his head above other dogs, less for
tunate, who have always been his companions
Monmouth weekly herald. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1854-1860, 1860-01-19
Under the snow.

The SKY looks pale throu Oh misty veil,
The winter wind walls loud
And cloud shapes grieve, as they rapidly weave
The cold still earth shroud.
Now; spirits in white, with footsteps light
Come troopng down the sky
! ike shapes of dream, or like angels they seem
AS they float arily by
Oh, the winter snow the winter SNOW
We Lowell it once full well!
And with childish shout, ringing merriy out,
Hailed the feecy shower as it fell
But now, since we know, that under the snow,
Hid from the light of day,
There are treasures fair-treasures most rare,
In darkness hidden away;
Our gladness is DER, and we love ne more
To see the snow fall come;
For heavy chill, and sense of ILL.,
1t brings to our heart and home.
Oh the treasures fair the treasures SO rare
Hidden under the snow,
Are not tae sweet flowers that in summer hours
Set mount and meadow glow.
Something more bright to our yearning sight,
Something far dearer than they
Is lying low, under the snow,
On this bleak and wintry day.
If we think with dread of the blossoms dead,
Under this covering chill,
What deeper woe must our sad hearts know
For that something dearer still
Oh, snow-fakes fair fall light as air
Fall light and soft, pray,
On the treasures we yet SO wildly regret,
Barred, and hidden away
Monmouth weekly herald. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1854-1860, 1860-01-19

SEARCH FOR A PAsToR.--A Congrega
tionalst preacher, in Connecticut says,
that "when pulpit is vacant now a.
days, the church generally appoints a
committee to go and make enquiry of
some theological professor or some emf
nent divine, for suitable candidate
The first question usually is, i" Is he a
popular man? The second, Is he a
good man z" Third. 4" Is he social and
easy in his manners ?" Fourth, is he
man of decided talent ~ Aud then,
as the Committee is about taking leave
with hat in hand and one foot on the
door sill, it was sometimes added, He s
man of piety, we suppose ?"
Monmouth weekly herald. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1854-1860, 1860-01-19
A Story for BOYS.

It is related Of Partisan mother, that
on giving her son forty pieces of silver
as his portion, she made him swear never
to tell a lie, and said:
go, my son, | consign thee to God,
and we shall not meet again till the day
of judgment.
The youth went away, and the party
he travelled with were assaulted by rob-
bers. One fellow asked the boy what he
had, and he answered:
" Forty dinars are sewed up in my
garments"
The rqbber laughed, thinking that tie
boy TESTED. Another asked the same
question, and received the same answer.
At last the chief called him, and asked
him what he had. The boy replied:
Il have told two of your people al
ready that | had forty dinarS sewed up in
my clothes"
The chief ordered the clothes to be
ripped open, and the mouey was found.
And how came you to tell this ?"
" Because" replied the boy, Il would
not be false to my mother, to whom !
promised never to tell Iie."
Child" said the robber, art thou so
mindful Of thy duty to thy mother at
thy years, and am | insensible at my age
Of the duty | owe to God? Give me thy
hand that | may swear repentance on it,
He did so, and his followers were
struck with the scene.
You have been our leader in guilt
they said to the chief, 8 be the same in
the path of virtue" and taking the boy
hand, they took the oath of repentance
on it.
Monmouth weekly herald. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1854-1860, 1860-01-19

The ROMAN SENTINEL. When Pompeii
was destroyed, there were very many
buried in the-ruins of it, who were after
wards found in deep vaults, as if they
had gone thither for security. There
were some found who were in the streets
as II they had been attempting to make
their escape. There were some found in
lofty chambers. But where did they find
the Roman sentinel /? They found him
standing at the city gate with his hand
still grasping the war weapon. where he
had been placed by his captain; and there
where the heavens threatened him; there
while the lava stream rolled he had stood
at his post; and there, after a thousand
years had passed away, was he found
SO let Christians learn to stand to their
duty, willing to stand at the post on
which their Captain has placed them,
and they will find that grace will support
and sustain them.
Monmouth weekly herald. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1854-1860, 1860-01-19
THE SKy ~ INnrc,ron on TUE VIZ.

THE SKY AN INDICATOR OF THE Wealth
ER.-The colors of the sky at particular
times afford wonderfully good guidance.
Not only does rosy sunset presage fair
weather, and ruddy sunrise bad wealth.
er, but there are other tints which speak
with equal c!earness and accuracy. A
bright yellow sky in the evening indi
Gates wind; pale yellow, wet neutral
grey color constitutes favorable sign in
the evening, an unfavorable one in the
morning. The clouds again are full OF
meaning in themselves. If their forms
are soft, underlined and feathery, the
weather will be fine; if the edges are
hard, sharp or definite. it will be foul
Generally speaking, any deep unusual
hues helokeh wind or rain; while the
more quiet and delicate tints bespeak fair
weather. Simple as these maxims are,
the British Board Of Trade has thought
6t to publish them for the use Of sea-
laring men.
Monmouth weekly herald. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1854-1860, 1860-01-19

SORROWS. -Jean Paul says !" Sorrows
gather round great souls as storms do
around mountains, but, like them, they
break the storm and partly the air Of the
plain beneath them, Every heavy burd
en- of sorrow seem like stone hung
round our neck, yet arc they often only
like the stones used by the pearl divers,
which enable shem to reach their prize
and return enriched. small sorrow
detracts and great one makes US col
leeted as belr loses its clear tone
when slightly cracked, and RECEIVERS it
when the fsure is enlarged"
Monmouth weekly herald. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1854-1860, 1860-01-19

n@ A gentleman complaining to hi.
bootmaker that pair of boots recently
sent to him were too short, that he wanted
pair to cover the whole calf, and the
following jeu desprit sent him
These boots were never made for me-
They are too short by half;
want them long enough, dye see,
To cover all the calf.
Why, sir, said Last, with stifed smile.
To alter them I'll trv;
But if they cover all the calf,
They must be five feet high.
Monmouth weekly herald. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1854-1860, 1860-01-19
FAN Gently on Her Early Grave.

Fall gently on her early grave,
oh snow of the wintry night
Lie softly DER the form we laid
SO sadly away from sight.
Beat gently, as beat the human heart,
That snow is cold and STILL
Oh cover her kindly, as covered she
AL human error and i'll
Let the early sun DER her swelling mound
Trickle down your flakes in tears,
AS pure and constant as those we shed.
Fer the loved of our by-gone years!
Exhale above her, oh winter snow,
By moral foot unhod,
As her own bright spirit foated up
To the sunlight smile of God!
Monmouth weekly herald. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1854-1860, 1860-01-19
Proposal.

The violet loves sunny bank,
The cowslip loves the lea,
The sea let creeper loves the elm;
But love-thee.
The sunshine kisses mount and vale,
The stars they kiss the sea,
The west winds kiss the clover bloom;
But kiss-thee;
The oriole weds his notified mate.
The lily's bride O. the bee;
Heavens marriage ring is round the earth
Shall l wed-thee.
Monmouth weekly herald. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1854-1860, 1860-01-19
The Old Mans New Year.
b ANNIE NJ. SAWYER.

We are sitting by the freight,
My gray haired sire and l,
And on this happy New Years night
Silent sit and sigh;
And many times this evening drear
I've wiped the bitter tear.
The merry day We had last year
The children's noisy glee-
As grandpa's olden tale to heard
Each tried to climb his knee;
while song, and laugh and joyous dance,
Through these old rooms did glance.
I think my father strange tonight;
His thoughts are wandering now;
Still see by the titful light,
Unwrinbled in his brow;
And hear murmered words the while
note his happy smile.
All! he has dreamed him back again
Into those buried years,
Thai now seem quite as free from pain
As these seem full Of tears;
His brave, and glad, and beauteous youth,
So strong in love, in truth.
Loved forms of those old days fit by;
Alice" Il hear him say,)
"Come closer; why are you SO shy2
You'll be my wife to-day"
His trembling arm he raises now,
II l. Is,
Poor, feeble man-his pale lips old,
Meet but the mocking air;
His was the tale SO often told
Alice was false as fair.
His dream is changed-a New Years day
Holds DER him joyous sway.
And standing closely by his side,
My mother, tender, true;
While sacred words make her his bride,
One heart. where first were two;
And now he tells how one by one
Sweet children blessed their home
1t makes my tears fall down like rain,
To hear his whispers low,
AS she were with him once again
Why she died long years ago;
Tho nov, he speaks of but last year,
When some we loved were born.
Now, SAM" he calls, come hither, child
To thee eur Nell we've given;"
Tonight Sans on the ocean wild,
And Ellen is in Heaven)-
And yet he sees them by his knee,
Oh, that dreamed as he
Aud hush he wakes. his voice is low,
His words are very sweet
Lost darlings sleeping meath the snow,
You all mean shall meet.
Let me, 0 gracious ord, pray,
Keep with them New Years day."
There was no CLEAN of angel wings,
No voice the silence stirred
caught no glimpse of heavenly things,
And yet the prayer was heard;
Before the blessed New Year broke,
In Heaven his soul awoke.
Monmouth weekly herald. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1854-1860, 1860-01-19

This examination. it is stated. tended
to confirm the opinion of some of the
medical faculty. that Maude was an in
sane man, though Of itself, it is no deci
sive evidence Of madness, even to the
profession.
Monmouth weekly herald. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1854-1860, 1860-01-19

ARITHMETIeAL PUzzLE.-If four dogs.
with sixteen legs, can catch twenty nine.
rabbits, with eighty-seven legs, in forty
four minutes, how many legs must the.
same rabbits have to get away from eight
dogs with thirty two legs, in seventeen
minutes and a half?
Monmouth weekly herald. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1854-1860, 1860-01-19

BE- INDIANER PoETRY.-A Hooiser
wrote the following poem" upon the Nam.
moth Cave:
The Mammoth Cave, oh what spot
In Summer cold, in Winter hot!
Mammoth Cave, oh mighty wonder;
General Jackson, blood and thunder!
Monmouth weekly herald. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1854-1860, 1860-01-19

BA- A clever conundrum was that
which took prize at Philadelphia some.
years since: La what manner did Capt.
May cheat the Mexicaus? He charged
them with troop of horses which they
never got.
Monmouth weekly herald. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1854-1860, 1860-01-19

BSA- A down east editor advises his
readers, if they wish to get teeth Inserted
gratis, to go and steal fruit where his
watch dog is on guard.
Monmouth weekly herald. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1854-1860, 1860-01-19

Ia To make lady stick out her EN-
ger, put on the aforesaid digit diamond
ring. To make her stick out her eyes,
show her silk dress. To make her
stick out all over, give her crinoline.
Monmouth weekly herald. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1854-1860, 1860-01-19

u.s. A little one, after undergoing the
disagreeable operation of vaccination,
exclaimed, " Now | won't have to be
baptized, will 2"
Monmouth weekly herald. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1854-1860, 1860-01-19

H9~ What is the difference between a
crockery dealer and cabinet maker p
One sells tea.sets and the other settees.
Monmouth weekly herald. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1854-1860, 1860-01-19

BsA. Friend. is your horse balky No,
he is only afraid somebody will say 'woh,F
and he shan't hear it.
Monmouth weekly herald. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1854-1860, 1860-01-19

neA- An Irish attorney says no printer
should publish a death unless apprised Of
the fact BY the party deceased.
Monmouth weekly herald. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1854-1860, 1860-01-19

BA- Circumstances alter cases" as
the printer remarked when he tipped his
over.
Monmouth weekly herald. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1854-1860, 1860-01-19

BeA Married Miss Jane Lemon and
Mr.. Ebenezer Sweet.
How happily extremes do meet
In Jane and Ebenezer;
She's now no longer sour, but s,ceet
And he's Lemon squeezer
Minnesota Staats-Zeitung. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1858-1877, 1860-08-11

Der untersei9nete bat fem Eager Der fein0en
Gisarren int Yreiie BON IS bis $65 per 3au1ent
bur9 neue Ginfaufe perSplltanbist.
Maud1= unb &au=Gabade
you aQen @prteu unp preiien linb YprrGttis, nor
unter g airs b%efannter beutider &au6tabad.
S9nupftabafe,
1T GROCER @Nsmabl.
Deut9e Detcn>
Tancyz@ ppp6.
Gerfauft I'M @rOB~ nnb &leinbanbel 81 ben biz
lieten preilea.
+. m. Qubelt.