The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1860-01-05
yAfsI.sT 4.

We always did Ike the 'church-g2Jng belle
In China the natives call an Englishrnan 9 say
Whilst shame keeps its watch virtue is not wholly
extinguishei from the heart.
Did YOU ever know a person to believe you when
you explained EOw you got q black eye:
4 bookselIing firm in New York recently received
an order from country customer for certain mum
Der Of copies Of He5ster OH-G-briIge Ot course the
great Uaa5riiSeI supplied the want
s.HonesteId exemption exclaimed Mrs. Parting
ton throwing down the paper. - It's come 10 a
pretty pass indeed, that men are going to exempt
themselves from home Just when they please
There j. this difference between Happiqess and
1-isl0a: he that thinks himself the hlpplest man
really 80, but he that thinks himself the Vlsest Is
generally tie greatest fool
ssPray don't darn your cobwebs.' vas Swift
advice t. 4 gentleman Of strong Imagination and
weak memory, who was laboriou7ly explaining him
self
Milk or cream, when it has turned sour, may be
restored to its original sweetness b means OF small
quantity Of carbonate of IguesiI- hen the acidIty
is slight half easPoontul Of the powder 10 pint OF
milk
Dr. Franklin said, ''Wher I see house well
furnished with books and newspapers, there see III
elIigent and we'll informed chiren but II there arc
no books o papers, the children ignorant, II not
profigate-''
An old sea captain said he never knew Of but one
man who had good excuse for gong to sea; ana
that was Nogh, for If he had remained on shore he
would have been drowned
The individual vino tried to clear his conscience
with an egg Is now eIdeavoring to raise his spirits
with Yeast Ii he fails III this, it = his deliberate in
tention to blow out his brains with the bellows.
Young ..buck,'' nowadays, Is curiously conl-
ronp,leI L he has berrsr on his head, eOIt-ee on
his chin kids on his hands, caireS his legs casts
sieeps eyes and IS looked upon by his aosting duck
rs deer at any price.-B0stOH Post
\ lady in New York, quite overcome by a visit
from the renowned chess champion. wishing to do the
Il a.tr or
the s,rphy, and accept cup OF eorphy = Even
language does homage TO the giant
Jorum was told of q supper at which goble;s OF ice
formed ~ evaporation were used, from which TO
drink champagne. Jorum heard the story through,
and then exclaimed
''Ncli ice rare -
Eide Munger, speaking Of the time when he was
a boy says it ,he custom of the school children
as you passed a schooI-house, to make a bow. But
in thee latter days rs you pass sohool-house yol
must keep your eve peeled. or You viii get snow
ball or Il brick-bIt ut the side OF your Read
Sometimes, perhaps thou nearest another Christian
prav with much freedom and hueucy, whilst thou
canst hardly get "a few broken words. Hence
thou art rcldy thyse,t, and to admire hIn
if the gliding Of the key made it open the door the
better.
Il say Mr. Pilot, amt you going to start seon -
said 4 cockney on a steamer lying to during fog.
AS soon the fog clears up, replied the cptlIn
Well, it's starlight now overhead, said the cock
ney 9 Oh yes, but were not going that way,
said the captain.
There never was n ray Of starlight in the Nam
moth Cave Of Kentucky, only the red glare Of tor
ches ever iuiniue its walls 50 there are many
men whose minds Mammoth Caves, all under
ground and uulishtel, by the torches Of selfish
ness and passion
4 gentleman while shooting i'm Tennessee, put his
waddiug in his clothes, and rammei himself down IN
the rifle instead. Having. however, fortunately left
his cap on he instantly shot to the top Of pine
tree, into the society Of who explained TO
him his mistake