Lexington advertiser. [volume] (Lexington, Miss.) 1838-187?, 1860-11-09
Artemas Ward Sees the Prince.


Prince of Wales, tho it cum purity near
eostin me my va!erable life. l cawt a
glimpse of him as he set on the Pizaro ol
tie hotel in Sarnia, and elbode my way
through crowd of women. children, So
gers and InjiDs that was hanging round
the tavern. | was drawin' near to the
Prince when man in milingtary clcSe
grabd holt of me and axcd me where |
was going so bold.
"To see Albert Adard, Prince of Wales, "
sez I. "Who be you?"
He said he was Kurnal of the Seventy.
Fust Regiment, Her Msjes'y's troops. |
toed him I hoped the Seventy Ouesters
were in good health, and was passing by
when he seased holt of me agin, and said
in tone of Indignant cirprise ;
"What! Impossible 1t cannot be =
Blarst my'hise, sir, did | understau' you
to say you was actooalIy goin' into the
presents of his Royal luess?"
That's whots the matter with me-" ]
replied.
But b'arst my hise, sir, it's onprese'
dented, Us orfuI. sir! Nothing like it
haint happened sius the Gun Powder Plot
Of Guy Forks. Owdashus man. who all
you?"
Sir" says l, drawin myself up and
putin on defaut air, Il IN q American
cittefsin. My name is Ward. I'm hus.
band, an the father of twins. which l am
happy to state they look like me, by per.
feshun line a exhibitor of wax work and
sich
Coed Gcd j. yelled the Kurnal, "the
idce of a exhibitor of wax figures going
into the presents of his Royalty The
British lyou may we'll roar with rage at
the thawt!"
"Sez l, speakin' of the British Lion,
Kurnal, Ide like to make bargain with
you for that beast for few weeks to add
to my show" l didn't mean nothing by
this. l was only gettln orf goak but
you orter hev seen the old Kurnal jump up
and howl. lie actually loaned at the
mowth. ... ...
"This can! be real" he showtcd. "No,
no. Its a orlid dream. "Sir, you air
not human bein-you hev no existeus--
you're a myth" ..
Wall" seq I, old boss, yu.e find me a
rather uncomfortable Myth eff you punch
my inards in that way agin." ...
/ began to get little riled, fur when he
called me Myth he punched me purity
hard The Kurnal now commenst showt-
in for the Seventy. .Onestors. l at fust
tbawt I'd stay and becum Marter to
Brtiah Outraje. as sich course mite git
my name up q be good advertisement
for my show. but it occurred to me that if
any of the Seventy Onesters should hap
pen to insert barronet into my stummick
it might be unpleasant, & was on the
pint of runnin' orr, when the Prince his
self KUN up and axed me what the mat
ter was. S,z ALBERT Edard. hears nay
kecrd. l cum to pay my respecks to the
futur King of Ingland. The Karnal of
tho Seventy-Onesters hear is rather smawl
pertaters, but Of course you aint to blame
for that. He put on as many airs as tho
be war the Bully Boy with the glass eye."
"Nover mind" seq Albert Edard, line
glad to see you Mister Ward at all events"
& be TUX my hand SO pleasant like, and
larfed so sweet that | fell in love with him
at onct. He hand,d me sagar and we
sot down on the Pizalro and commcnst
smokin' rite cheerful. t4.'
"Wall,' sell, Albert Edard, how's
The old folks?' .-
"Her Majesty and the Prince are we'll, y
he sed. 5. Z .
'Duz the old man take his Lager Beer
reglar?' l inquired. "
The Prince !arfed & intermated that
he old man didn't let many kegs of that
oeveridge spile 10 the sellar IN the course
If a yere. We sot and tawked there sum
ime about matters 4 things, bimoby I
'xed him how he liked bein' Prince aa fur
!, heed got ta.
ITO speak plain, Mister Ward" he sed,
don't much like it. Tn sick Of all this
'owin and scrapin and crawin and hurrain
yer aboy like me. would rather 60
Al ~