davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1860-05-17

A WESTERN MEMBER.-Johuson, bare.
ly of age, was elected to the Indiana Legis.
lature. Says he: 49,,
When I got near Vincennes I began to
think what sorry figure I, green country
lad, would cut in an assembly of the wisdom
of the State, and it required all my resolu-
ton to keep from turning back. Somehow
or other managed to get through the swear
ing in process, and sneaked away to a seat,
from which I hardly ventured to look up
until the House adjourned for dinner. On
returning to my hotel I was rather grati6ed
to find that was to have q roommate q
brother member, who. as he had made at
least six speeches during the forenoon ses-
sion, naturally regarded him as one of the
great men came up to our joint room, and
carefully closing the door, pulled out Of
his pocket an enormous, old-fashioned,
bulls eye watch, and handed it to me with
this remark:
sUncle Jake told me just as I was start
ing, that I ought to hev watch, and loan
ed me this but don't know how to screao
the thing up; do you?'
I walked into the legislative hall that af.
ternoon with the most limited confidence in
my ability to discharge all duties incumbent
on me as legislator.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1860-05-17

AN ENoRMos LIE.-Judge NJ, late
of Mississippi, who was a gentleman re-
markable for proclivity to exaggerate and
tell hard stories, on one occasion was seated
in front of the principal hotel in Clinton,
amusing group Of gentlemen with his Pc
culiar narratives, when he delivered himself
as follows: Gentlemen, in east Tennessee,
where 1 was raised, I knew man who had
the most astonishing strength in his jaws
and teeth of any man that ever lived. l
once saw him standing on the sunny side of
barn, with his old wool hat under his arm,
filled with black walnuts, and, he just put
them in his mouth and cracked them as
easily as one Of you could crack chesnutp
The auditors exchanged looks of increduli-
ty. A quizzical and facetious blade, known
as Kentucky Sacbelford, was present, and
heard the Judges story, and remarked:
NO doubt, Judge, of the truth of all you
have said. Some men are remarkable strong.
Now, in South Carolina where I lived, one
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1860-05-17

Practical JOKE OF AN INDIAN
Some of the Saginaw Indians are intense
wags in their way. One of them, having
given trader some annoyance, was told
that in case he was seen again with bottle,
it would be taken from him and thrown in
to the fire. A few days after, the Indian
appeared with pint flask in his blanket, as
usual, but the trader was as good as his
word, and demanded the bottle, which the
Indian gave up and started for the door.
The trader threw the flask into the stove,
upon which bang went the stove, and out
came the windows, the trader followed close
behind. The next time that man burns an
Indians whiskey bottle, he will examine it
to see whether its contents are whiskey OF
gunpowder.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1860-05-17
A New CoDE OF HoNoR-THE HAN

A New CODE OF HoNoR-THE HANG,
ING DuEI.-An exchange gives this origi.
nal mode of settling difficulties: Two men
who have conceived dislike for each other,
aud have given and received mortal af.
front, determine to appeal to the code. They
have platform built similar to the gallows
prepared for criminals, with cross beam a.
bove it; to this beam are attached two pull.
leys; the men take their position under
each pulley ropes are then fixed with q
slip moose around the necks of these gentle.
men, and after the ends are put through the
pulleys they are taken in the hand of either
party to the affair, and pulling at the cords
with all their strength, they proceed to hang
each other. The one who first yields, and
relaxes his hold on his antagonists rope, is
to employ an elegant phrase, "a goner,' and
the affair is at an end.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1860-05-17

Of my neighbors was noted for the extraor-
..dinary muscular strength Of his arm. Ire
member to have seen him take hard pine
knot, place it in the hollow of his arm at
the elbow, and by suddenly bringing bis
fore arm upward, he split the knot intosplin'
ters and pressed out all the turpentine in
stream
The narrative of Kentucky was received
with peals of laughter. Judge NJ be-
came indignant, and spriuging to his feet
with clenched fist, and flaming eyes, ex'
claimen: nr z
sKentack, that's an enormous lie!'
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1860-05-17

A BRIGHT BoY.-We never read the
scene in Henry w., where Falstaff and
Prince Henry exchanged characters, with
out thinking of a similar one said to have
occurred in an ancient parsonage a great
while ago. The Rev. Mr.. Regulus was an
excellent man, rather eccentric and some
what economical. Jonas, farmers boy,
used sometimes to go with presents to the
parsonage, sharp eyed little fellow, but
rather uncouth in his manners. One day
he brought in leg of mutton, laid it down
without ceremony, and was making off.
sI'lI teach that boy lesson in good man.
ners,' said Mr.. Regulus to his wife. He
needs to have the clown rubbed off little.
Jonas como back here moment Don't
you know, my fine fellow, that you should mt
come into a house in that way, without
knocking and with your hat on. Sit down
in my armchair. Imagine yourself the
minister. and I'll come in with the mutton
and show you how boy ought,to behave
Jonas sits up gravely in the arm chair,
and Mr.. Regulus goes out with the leg of
mutton. ...
sEnter Mr.. Regulus in the character Of
Jonas. He takes off his hat with low bow.
my father sends bis compliments to Mr..
and asks his pastor to accept a
token of his regard
Jonas, from the arm chair: -..
Il thank you; Mrs. ReguZus, Just gt0e
that boy a nime:pence.'
The lesson was mutual. l.-Monthy Reltgi-
Gus Magazine. E..
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1860-05-17

STgWg0S NgTgl,
YORKvILLE, s. c., T.

IA-o THE undersigned announces to
S3. the former friends and patrons Of
81 vi fEI1- this long established Hotel, that
A3I@fikl he has become the Proprietor, and
will conduct it for the future, in style which
will be satisfactory to the most fastidious OF his
guests.
His Agent, Mr.. NJ. JONES, will be constantly
in attendance and will conduct the business -af-
fairs of the establishment; |; while the other de-
partments will continue under the experienced
and skillful management Of the former landlady.
The rooms will be re.furnished, and kept in
perfect order; strict attention will be given to
THE TABLES =. -.
polite and well-trained SERVANTS will attend
to every want an experienced Hostler will keep
the Stable, which will always be supplied with
abundant provender and in fine, no pains r .ex
pense will be spared to make the Hotel as COM
Portable and inviting as,any to be found in. the
up.country, and at ssreasonnble rates as the
condition of the market will permit. The pub
lie are requested to give us trial.
n@s No Drumming PROPRIETORS at this
establishment. g. =. :,.se., -. -
re g.. ,. y. Jdor1 1p o1OUh'
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1860-05-17

s9r An eminent lawyer in Glasgow once
had client whose name was Widow Tickle.
He rose, and commenced to address the
Honorable Court in this manner: "Tickle,
my client, my lord," and paused for mo-
ment. The Judge, who was considered a
wag broke in after this most ludicrous
STYLE: "Ye maun tickle her yerself, Mr..
Mclaughlin it's not the business of this
court to tickle yer client, my bra mon."
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1860-05-17

SHARP AS A NEEDLE.-The following
bon mot was started out West: A busy
housewife was sitting in doorway plying
her needle. Her husband louuging on the
rail-. his foot slipped and he bruised his
knee on the door stone. 'Oh,' said he,
groaniug, i have broken the bone, I'm
sure well, them said she, holding up
her needle, with its eye broken out, you
and I have done very nearly the same
thing sHow SOP why, don't you see,
aid she, i have broken the eye Of the need
lc, man, and you have broken the knee Of
the idle man.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1860-05-17
HOWARD ASSOCIATION.


THE HOWARD ASSOCIATION, in view of the awful
decepons prac;iced upon the unfortunate victims of such
diseases by Qracks several years directed their Con-
sutng Surgeon, as aCHARlTABLE n ACT worthy ofthelr
name open Dspcnsay for the treatment of this class
of disease in all their FORMS and to give MEDICAL AD-
VICE GRATIS to all who apply by letter, with descrp.
ton of their condition. age occupation habits e
and in of extreme poverty, to FURNISH MEDI.
seine FREE OF CHARGE. His needless to add that the
Association ommands the highest Medical skill OF the age
and will furnish the most modern treatment.
The Directors ofthe Association in their Annual Report
upon the treatment Sexual Diseases the year ending
January lst 1855 express the highest satisfaction with the
success which has attended the labors of the Consulting
Surgeon in the ofSpcrmatorrh9a, Seminal
Impotence onorho Gee Syphilis the vice of Onanism
or Selfabuse &C., and order continuance of the same
plan for the ensuing year.
The Directors review of the past feel assured that
their abors this sphere of benevolent effort have been
great benefit the afflicted especially the young and
they have resoredt to devote themselves with
to this very i'm portant and much despsed cause.
An admirable Report SpermatorrhGa or Seminal
Weakness the vice of Onansm Musturbaon Sefabuse
and other diseases of the sexual organs by the Consulting
Surgeon will be sent by mail lin sealed enveope) FREE
OF CHARGE, on receipt of TWO STAMPS for postage.
Other Reports and Tracts the nature and treatment
sexual diseases Diet &c. constantly being published
for gratuous distribution, and will be to the afflicted
Some of the remedies and methods of treatment dis.
covered during the last year, are of great value.
Address, for Report or treatment DIR. J. SKILLIN
HOUGHTOS, Acting Surgeon. Howard Association, No.
2 South Ninth Street, Philadelphia, Pa.
BY order of the Directors,
EZRA D. IIEARTWELL, President
GEO. FnRcHILD, Secretary:
Aup 81 ly
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1860-05-17

a PERFECT HAIR RESTORATIVE,
promoting the strength and growth Of the Hair and giving
1t all the beauty ofyouth-7 Do you doubtful .. :.
" =. - Read Read Reads!
.. - scHRooS LAKE, ESSEX o,NY.
February g. 1853.
w. e. HAaAH, Troy, N Y,-Dear Sir: -, '
Having used your Hair Cooring Restorative and be-
ing much pleased with It take pleasure In making the
following statement: From the effects of very severe
fit sickness when about ls years Of age my air
enced turning grey and continued TO grow until IT
BECAME PERFECTLY WHITE being very harsh and coarse
Last Summer had reached my iftythird year. when
induced by friend to purchase two bottles of Helm
streets Hair Restorative prepared by commenced
ungit according 10 directions, and In few days
surprised to find that my hair from the roots outward
turning back to It's original color. SO continued TO grow
until twas as truly brown and glossy it In my
youthful days. and Is now fully restored TO It's original
Essex Co.. ss.-sfyla Seaman came before % me and was
duly sworn and saystha theabove statement true this
9Th day of February, 1853 - +.f S.' - l
t,s- JOEL +. POTTER, Justice of the Peace
PITTSFoRD, VT, Aug. !, 1887 I
hereby certify that my hair having become quite grey
used Hemsreets Hair Restorative (prepared by w. E.
HAeAN of Troy n Y for four weeks and my hair was
'''''''S'N '',' ''',' y " ~ VIM KINGSLEY,
Pastor Of the Baptist Church, Pttsford, Vt.
u MECHAHIcsyILLE N. Y, March II, 1853. 4
Mr.. W. E. HAGAS: Ihave used Hemstreets Hair Res
toratve for three years. and have oundh to be most
ceent article 1t not only restored the color of my hair
giving II new Inc ana strength, out cured myself and
wife of most obstinate eruption upon the scalp, which
nothing else seemed to benefit fully believe to be the
best article In use Yours, Respectfully, *
KNOWLToN ROWLAND.
The above but few of the many letters Of recon-.
endaon which have been tendeyed to the propretors Of
Heimstreets Hair Colorng or Restorative. 1t has been
used by thousands Of people, andt never fails to restore
the color and growth Of the hair This singular effect Is
not produced when dyes used acts upon the
natural secreons Of colong matter at the roots and thus
effects the change The color produced Is counter.
felt but the natural shade ofyouth does not color the
skin. a.a>.s-s 80 .- :.
Price Soc and sl.OO per bottle. Sold everywhere. W..
E. HAGAN &, CO., Proprietors, Troy N Y.
Sold in Yorkville, by ALLISON g. BRATT0N; In
Chester, by A. H. DEVAGA, and all Druggists every
where VAN SCHAACK g. GRIERS0N, Charleston :;
and JOHN WRIGHT e. CO., New Orleans, Wholesale
Agents.
Anrl 26 = II = - = ly =
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1860-05-17

KEEPING Cool ALPHABETICALLY
Even good roles and resolutions (said one
of'the speakers before the night school of
the Mechanics Institute) cannot always be
observed yet perseverance may enable US
to keep them, under all the excitements to
which we may generally be exposed.
whenever you find your dander rising
said Anew England deacon to his choleric
SON, be sure to say the Lords prayer, my
son, or the alphabet clean through; and
long before you get to the end ont, you'll
be as cool as a cucumber, or an iceberg.
Promise me faithfully, my son.
yes, daddy, I promise Off trudged
Jonathan to school, carrying his bread aud
meat, with a small bottle of molasses in bis
jacket pocket, and his late promise upper.
most in his mind.
A boy who bore the lad an old grudge,
met him, and after calling him young dea.
con-, and many seurrilous names, caught
him off his guard and threw him to the
ground, tearing his jacket and breaking his
molasses bottle. This double injury made
Jonathan's eyes wol6sh and his lips white
with rage, and he burned to revenge him.
SELF But there was his promise to his faith
er, and he did not forget it; but proceeded
to swallow, as we'll as his anger would allow
his alphabetical pills, thus:
A, B, C,-you've tore my jacket-D, E
F,-you've split my 'lasses-G, H, I, J.
K,-you're tarnal rascal, NJ, N, o, P
Q,-I'll learn you better manners, yor
scamp your, S, T, U, V,-Pll spil'
your pictur, you old wall eye-W, X, Y
Z,-ampersand. Now, I'll pound you
eyes out o you, you encroaching william
Even the repetition of the alphabe
couldn't allay the 6rery temper which hat
been aroused by the tearing ofthe coat ant
the loss of the 'lasses; but our young read
ers, when angefed for less provication
may save themselves unpleasant feelings
when irritated by their playmates, if the
but follow Jonathan's advice and rehears
the entire alphabet, before giving blow
Rich. Dispatch. -
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1860-05-17
J. r. SCHORB,
RESIDENT AMBR0TYPIST,
GEO. D. FERGUSON,
WT TcFM KER eRHC
S. G

CHESTER, S. c.,
a HAVING commenced business
O[TA in the above place, would solicit
M ~ the patronage of the public. Ha-
w. ,ZSa wing devoted himself to the Watch
ESziA REPAIRING DEPARTMENTAL
the past fifteen years-during which time he has
been in the employment of some of the most ex-
tensiye houses North and South-for many years
in the employment of Messrs. Glaze Radcliffe,
and Messrs. Radcliffe Guiguard, Columbia, S.
c.. Also, for several years, having afforded the
highes, satisfaction to customers and employers
in York and Chester, would, therefore hope, that
BY unremitting attention to bushes and moderate
charges, to receive share of public support.
nea. All work warranted for twelve months, if
not abused Watch Glasses, Watch Hands, &C.,
at moderate prices.
aean The SHOP is situated next door to the
store of Messrs Brawley & Alexander.
Aug 18 80
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1860-05-17
::::::: &: q: ! ! ! iii b d !

~ All Advertisements not having the number ofnser.
tions marked the margin will be continued untiforod
and charged accordingly. 90,
~ Quarterly, Semi Annual or Yearly contracts will be
made on liberal terms-the contracts however, must In all
be confined to the immediate business Of the firm or
individual contracting
Semi.Monthly, Monthly, Quarterly Advertisements,
win be charged ONE DOLLAR per square each insertion
For Advertising Estrays Toed g; to paid by the
Magistrate Citations, ST. to be paid In advance by the
person applying Notices Appcationto the Legislature,
S5 to paid by the person handing In the advertisement
Insovent Debtors Notice. 90; payable In advance At
achment Notices. paid for by the Attorney In the
case. . & - 90 :
Business Cards Of hasquare or less will be inserted at
IS per year For each additional line, 81.
Obituary Notices exceeding square In length,
viii be charged for the overpus at regular advertising
rates.
~ Tributes of Respect rated as advertisements.
E1>Announcements ofMarriages or Deaths Notices OF
Religious Temperance Meetings published GhAilS
and solicited.
.sPersonnI Conanauni nic ntions, when admissi-
BILE communications of limited individual interest or
of Candidates for offices of honor prof.
will be charged for at from to 10 cents per line
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1860-05-17

COTTON SAW GINS Of the the best
v quality, with 10 inch Saws, movable chill
ed Ribs, tin Brush, and all necessary improve
mcnts, delivered at any Railroad Landing in the
State, at TWO DOLLARS per saw. Planters
intending to purchase GINS Of the subscriber,
will do well to send their orders early, as there
is generally crowd of work late in the season.
J. NJ. ELLIOTT, Winnsboro, s. C.
nap Premiums awarded at the State Fair, No
yember 1858 and 1859.
March 90 II Sm
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1860-05-17
DIR. j. C. AVER g. co.

4. ~ /.
DIR. j. C. AVER g. co. ~ Z,
= LOWELL, MASS. ~. -
-. Price, 81 per Bottle Six Bottles for s5.
Ayers Cherry Peotoral,
has won for itself such the cure Of every va
riety Of Throat and Lung Complaint that tits entirely IN
necessary for to recount the evidence of its vues
wherever It has been employed As It has long been In
than assure the people Its quality kept up the best 1t
ever has been and that It may be relied on to do their
relief all Il has ever been found to do. - .s.S
Ayers Cathartic Pills,
Costiyeness Jaundlce Dyspepsia Indigestion Dysenery,
Foul Stomach, Eryspeas Headache, Piles, Rheumatism,
Erupdons and Skin Diseases Liver Complaint, Dropsy,
Tetter Tumors and Salt Rheum, Worms, Gout, Neuralgs
as Dinner Pill, and for Purifying the Blood -
They sugarcoated 80 TINT the most sensitive can
take them pleasantly and they are the best aperent In
the world for all the purposes Of family physlc.
Price 25 cents per Box Five Boxes for 81 90.
Great numbers of Cergymen, Physicians, Statesmen
and eminent personages have lent their names to certify
here will not permit tho insertion Of them. The Agents
below named furnish gratis our AMERICAN ALMANAC In
which they given with also full descriptions Of the
above complaints and the treatment that should be fol-
lowed for their cure. teE ~
Do not be put of by unprinciped dealers with other
parationsthey make profit on, Demand AYERS and
take DO Others. The sick want the best cid there Is for
them, andthey should hayeit. :.
r All our Remedies for sale by ALLISON g. BRAT
TON, Yorkyille; A. H DAyEGA, Chester; MASSEY
MILLS, Ebenezervilei RoDDY & BRO, Rock Hill
Va; HAViLAND, STEVENSON & CO., Charleston;
HAVILAND, CHICHESTER CO., Augusta, Go. -
Feb 16 Am =,
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1860-05-17
CALIFORNIA A WHIsKEY.

Joe was fond of good liquor, or indeed,
liquor of any kind, and being generally
short Of funds and credit, too, was in the
habit of seizing on ali remnants Of liquor
left BY practitioners at the bar.
Thus matters progressed for some ten
years, keeping Joe pretty well soaked, when
Mr.. K, having occasion to make mix
ture for curing diseased beef, had need of
nitric acid or. aquafortis, that article being
one, fthe ingredients of the lotion.
Taking acomnon bar tumbler, and pour
inga sufficient quantity of acid into it, he
went out leaving the tumbler on the coun-
ter and traveller the sole occupant Of the
bar room. He had no sooner passed the
door, than in came. Joe, and seeing as he
thought tumbler, as usual with some
liquor too good to be wasted, Immediately
looked through the bottom, as was the usual
custom, and quickly threw him himself out
side of said liquor. He then went to his
wood chopping, smacking his lips at the
unusual strength of the spirits. ss
Shortly after, Mr.. K. coming in picked
up the tumbler to go on with his medical
preparation, but was very much surprised on
finding it empty. Inquiring of the travel
er, he was informed that short, chunky
man describing Joe) had drunk it. With
an exclamation Of surprise and consterna-
tion depicted on his countenance, he rushed
out Of the room in search of Joe, expecting
to find his dead body not many yards off.
He'passed around the house, and the back
yard found Joe, doing extra execution upon
the back logs, working as he generally did
when he had an extra amount of steam.
After getting over his astonishment the
following colloquy ensued:
Joe, did you drink that stuff on the
counterY
'Why-yaas-I thought it hadn't ought
to be wasted you know. All right, I spose.'
Il don't know. :. How did you like it?-
How did you feel after it?' .a...
.'Feel {? felt fust rate-ively as crick
et.'
well, Joe, but haven't you noticed any
thing out of the way-nothing wrong about
you ?'
Anything wrong" Well, no, not much
-fust rate liquor-takes good hold-goes
further than common. There's only one
thing queer about it, which I can't get the
hang Of, (there he drew his shirt sleeve un-
der his nose;) aoheneuer l wipe my mouth
4 burn a5hole IN nay shirt
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1860-05-17
New Blacksmith Shop.

description of work in the BLACKSMITH LINE
in the best manner, on short notice, and at the
lowest prices.
He takes this method to inform the epublic, that
he has purchased the right to sell in York DIS,
trict, "BOND'S IMPROVED TUYERE IRON"
which he can confidently recommend as being the
best thing of the kind ever introduced saving
sufficient coal in one year to pay..the amount the
TUYERE will cost. He has in his possession,
certificates from q number of the prominent
Founders, Carriage ge-Makers, &c., of the State, re-
commencing it in the highest terms Blacksmiths
are requested to call at his shopin Yorkville, and
examine for tn emselves
R.P. SMITH.
Dec Is 50 6m
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1860-05-17

TELEGRApHIc JoKE.-A joke was per-
petrated by the telegraph operator at Roch-
ester, on his brother at Lockport, day or
two since, which is good enough to be local.
lied anywhere. He sent from Rochester to
Lockport the following despatch in the regu-
lar order Of business
TO j. Bird-Do you want any feathers
Will sell cheap. Answer.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1860-05-17

After sending boy all over town to hunt
up J. Bird and deliver him the message,
it began to creep through the hair of the
Lockport man that possibly jaybirds and
bobolinks would not be in want of feathers
just now.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1860-05-17
A RTICLEs FOR THE TOILET.

4 RTICLES FOR THE TOILET.
IA Pride of the South-a Cologne highly fra
grant and very exquisite. All of the most pop
uar and fashionable extracts for the handker-
chief Almond, Ambrosial, Brown Windsor,
Frangipanni, Honey, Musk, Palm and variegated
TOILET SOAPS. Fleur-de-Riz, Mean Fun,
Lilly White, and Rouge TOILET POWDERS.
Toilet Combs and Brushes Bandolins, 0x-Mar-
row and Pomades; Bachelors and Harrison's
Hair Dye; Rose and Charcoal Tooth Paste, Of
French, English and American .Manufaciurer's
and perfumers. For Sale by
ALLISON s. BRATTON, Druggists.