Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1860-12-17
w. ID. WkLL!kCH.
HOW BLYNNKS WON THE WATER
MELONS.


county il that of Mr. Well, for the
sake Of argument" and to keep from hurting
his feelings, we'll call him Mr.. Thingumbob-
Mr. Thingumbob didn't embark in that branch
Of horticulture to which watermelOns belong,
merely for the fun Of the thing. He went into
il to make money, and he has done 1t. If Mr..
Thingumbcb has q weakness for anything in
the world it is for that specie OF pocket furni-
ture which the preachers piously denounce as
% the vile dross of EARTH" and the b'hoys style
"spondulicks" and "spizEerinctum. Ii
Mr.. Thingumbob were to suffer n watermelon
of the market value Of fifteen cents to fall from
his cart and wreck itself against the pave
ment, he wouldn't get done feeling bad about
the loss within the ensuing six weeks. In
short, Mr. Thingumbob is the stingiest man
YOU ever saw, and If he ever dies Of broken
heart it will be over the loss OF shilling;
You have often seen such men, hayen't YOU
On Saturday Mr.. Thingumbob brought
load of watermelOns to town, and as We gaEed
into the cars where they reposed in sulien
grandeur upon their pallets Of straw, we re-
marked 20 g considerable number Of specta-
tors and to the community at large, that "they
are indeed very fine, }" a remark which, we are
proud 10 perceive, ELECTED the cordial though
silent appreciation Of everybody within the
sound Of our voice. We hadn't more than
finished the observation when mp came
BIynnks, and says to Mr.. Thingumbob:
Stranger, these melons # yours are per-
y
Of them"
"WeII," said Mr. Thingumbob, eff You can
swindle me out Of enc Of them, you're welcome
to il"
"Oh, was merely joking about that" said
Blynnks, - but really am very fond Of water
melons and probably can eat more OF them
than any six men you ever saw; it's astonisn-
ing what quantity it takes to, do me. How
many of them large ones there of yours do you
suppose 1 could eat ?''
"Why," said Mr. Thingumbob, measuring
the size of Blynnk's mouth with his eyes, and
casting them down till they rested at point
near the lower extremity of his vest, 81 don't
suppose from your looks that you could eat
more than one"
lone, why, great goodness, stranger, what
are you talking about? I'll tell you what I'll
do-if you II furnish me six of the best you We
got, and if / don't eat every one, I'll make
you present Of the finest hat in town."
Mr. Thingumbob looked at Blynnks with
both eyes wide open; then took of his hat and
looked at that, and then clappiRg it on his
head and pressing it firmly, exclaimed:
"If don't do it, blow me :"
"AIl right" said Blynnks; "hand out half
dozen"
Mr. Thingumbob began TO hand out the ''per-
feet whales" one by one; while Blynnks laid
them down on the pavement with their ends
against the curbstone.
a. Hold en-" exclaimed Mr.. Thingumbob, as
be rested the last one on the side of the wagon
bed, ready to be lifted of, suppose you should
eat 'em all up, who's TO pay for 'em ?o
Nobody, Of course" answered Blynnks;
q in that case you lose but If fail TO eat them
lose, and am to give you ten dollar hat"
"Go ahead, " said Mr.. Thingumbsb, hand
ing down the sixth and last melon.
Blynnks drew forth his jaek-knife, and say
ing TO the bystanders, as be seated himself on
the eurb-stone with his feet in the gutter.
Gentlemen, would like to invite you to join
z a.. ~ IL Aau nm
control, force me to withhold the courtesy,
he split the best looking melon in two, and
taking one half of 1t on his lap, commenced
leisurely to eat il.
well said be, after having finished it, IL
sing and wiping the blade Of his knife with the
tail of his coat, that will about do me fer thi:
time; I'll lay that other half away till after
dinner; I'll try another after supper, and
think by about Monday night or Tuesday morn
ing I'll wipe out the pile"
HALO" exclaimed Mr.. Thingumbob
springing to his feet in the cart, '' that won't
do-you' We got to finish them now W
Finish them nroioi What the deuce do you
mean by that? L hope you don't expect me to
eat them all at Once.'
.'Of course L do, said Mr.. Thingumbob
exeitedly; that's what you said you'd do, and
you've got 10 do il.
"Look here, old man, bet you q new hal
that could eat six Of your water melons, bu
/ didn't tell yoa would sit down in the public
street and make confounded hog OF myself. :
"Then pay me for the one you've cut open,
said Mr.. Thingumbob.
"I shall do no such thing" said Blynks; 81
am still willing to eat the balance Of the pile
but if do, am going to take my time for it, }
al see now what you've been after all tn
time-you just wanted toswindle me out Of 1
water melon"
sfAnd you think I've done it too, don tyOu!'
"Yes, Til be darned if don't; but you'v
got TO pay for it, or there'lI be q SIGHT righ
here"
"Pay you for 1t, be hanged! Why, didn'
YOU tell me at the start, if 1 could swindle yor
out Of one, would be welcome to it?'
WeIl-yes-I believe l did" said MI
Thingumbob, showing bis hat aside and scratch
ing his head, "bat you told me you were onl
Joking"
And tell you so now. I've been jokin
all along, and II you can't see the point Of th
Joke by this time, you're greater sight bigge
fool than 1 took you to be"
Mr.. Thingumbob put his water melons bac
into the cart in silence and almost in tears b
kicked the unfinished half into the gutter, an
mounting his vehicle, drove slowly across th
square.
Half an hour after, we saw him drivin
along, crying at the top Of his voice
"Her-r-e's them water melonsl'