The Democratic press. (Eaton, Preble County, Ohio) 1860-1865, 1860-09-13
Little OF. Nothing.

good many more as she isn't. ]
......A Frenchman wishing to compliment y
girl as "a little lamb" called her "a small
......No two things differ more than hurry
md despatch, Hurry is the mark of q weak
mind, despatch of a strong one. F.,
......W What is that which every man can d.
vide, but no mau can see where it had been
livided2-Water.
The boy who was caught looking into
the future, has been arrested for trying to see
the show without paying.
......'What have you to remark, madam,
about my singing2' Nothing, sir, it is
not remarkable"
WHAT means Of conveyance by land,
and what by sea, are ladies fondest off,
Buses and smacks.
why should potatoes grow better than
other vegetables2 Because they have eyes
to see what they are doing.
......Men become wiser in almost all re-
spects after forty, except in those affairs in
which they are themselves concerned.
......Iti is only one hundred and sixty-seven
years since witches were hanged in New
England.
Don't locate yourself on the back of
a wild horse, unless you want to become dis
located.
W;odon, ofon ooroo, too 1oIo 90 l;co %
be Of much service TO US. There is no use
for mustard after meat
......A lady who was a strict observer of
etiquette, not being able to go to meeting
one Sunday, sent her card.
......A cobweb marriage is thus noticed
by a contemporary: Married last week, John
Cobb to Miss Kate Webb"
......"How do you get that lovely per-
fumeY' asked one young lady of another
ITS scent to me" replied the other.
......A man should manifest and commu-
nicate his JOY, but as much as possible con-
ceal and smother his grief
1.-The loss of goods and money is often
no loss; if you had not lost them, they might
perhaps have lost you.
1--WE have heard of but one old
that kissed her cow" but there are thous-
ands of young ones that kiss great calves
That's so.
I've are considerably amused by an
account that we lately saw of a remarkable
duel. There were six men upon the ground
and six misses.
......A paper from one of the interior
counties says: 'There is not q single per-
son in the county jailr' How many married
persons is not stated
......Correct yourself betimes. You will
seldom or never keep from falling if you
cannot recover yourself when you first begin
to totter.
......It is q curious fact in the grammar Of
politics, that when statesman get into place.
they often become oblivious of their antece.
dents, but are seldom forgetful Of their rela.
tives.
1.-THE most successful Of people are
those who have but one object, and pursue il
with great persistence. THE great art
says Goethe, lis to iudiciously limit and iso
late ones self"
......Mr. Harris twas never more s-s-sobel
in the whole course of his life" but wher
his friend Mr.. Jones asked him to take {
chair, he said he would wait till one cam,
round"
......A medical journal says hat single la
dies have the headache more thar marrieC
ones.
! That may be; but don't married men hav,
| the headache more than single ones?
Here's your money, dolt, and now tel
t me why your r~ascally master wrote me eigh
, teen letters about that contemplate sum.
I'm sure l can't tell, but if you will ex
cuse me, sir, l guess it was because seven
, teen didn't fetch it"
......You say, Mr.. Sprays, that Mr.. Jacob
was your tutor. Does the Court understand
by that, you received your education from
him2 No stree, bob. He taught me t
play on the French horn; he taught me t
toot-hence / call him my tutor.
......An editor of a religious paper, not
ing the increase Of ministers in Phila ielphit
wrote, 1.-THE towers are now supplied witt
watchmen," when a %compositor had put i
in print it read, to the establishment of tn
writer, "The towns are now supplied witt
Dutchmen."
......A lady, paying a visit to her daughter
who was a young widow, asked her why sh'
wore the widow garb so long. "Dear nam
ma, don't you see, replied the daughter, i
saves me the expense of advertising for
husband, as every one can see that ! am TO
sale by private contract"
......An Irishman was once indulging il
the very intellectual occupation of sucking
eggs raw, and reading a newspaper. B,
, some mischance he contrived to bolt a raw
chicken. The poor bird chirped as it wen
, down his throat, and he very politely OBJ
served. "Be the powers, mt friend, an you
spoke a very little too late"
E ......A worthy Dutchman lately sued hi
= Seighbor for killing his dog. In the cours,
of his examination, the Dutchman being ask
ed what was the value of his dog, replied
= "Ash, for ter dorg, he vas wort nothing a
I all butte ash he vas so mean ash to kill him
swear l makes him to pay to full value o
J him"
."..A letter from the Toronto Leader
from the Red River Settlement, chronicle
I the arrival there Of o mail bag, having beef
( conveyed thither from Fort William, BY fv
e men who were nineteen days making tn
journey. The bag contained just four news
papers, and its c%onveyances would cost owe
e two hundred dollars.
""..An eccentric wealthy gentleman stuc