The weekly pioneer and Democrat. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. Territory) 1855-1865, 1860-03-30
A Glimpse into Home Matters..T The
Present Conversational Basis i'm
SOciety--Why Young Men Remain
Single.

Present Conversational Basis I'm
SOciety--Why Young Men Remain
Single.
From the Crayon for March.
No man of much observation or delicate
appreciation of chara cter cln look into our
social circles and not discover democratic
vulgarity not much inferior to that pervad.
ing our political cabals. Our women, though
smart and intelligent, are too prone to an
ill-bred pertness, which rather provokes the
angularities of the intellect than the more
elevated feelings of the heart. To he de.
pendent on or subordinate to man in any OF
the relationships of life is to our women
feeling of degradation, something against
which their natures rebel. This savage
instinct of independence leads them to shun
the hospitalities so inseparable from every
happy home, lest mnistration of them might
in some way be coupled with mental attri
butes, or dim the tinsel of their wardrobe or
the gloss of their upholstery. With good
disposition and the proper training, every
woman of sound mind and body can be use
full, while but very few can adorn or add
lustre to the circle in which they move.
Great personal charms or great original
ity of mind may sometimes excuse woman's
neglect of the more humble yet important
offices of life, but can, however, in no way
atone for the injury which this neglect does
to the economy OF life. Hitherto the easy
acquisition of wealth and the many new
openings for the daring enterprises of young
men, have kept our social circles from being
over-crowded with spinsters but the times
are fast approaching when our young men
will hesitate to assume the trying Obliga-
tions of married life upon the mere CONNER.
cal prospect of making money by risky
speculatioDs. Young men of character and
education, as in Europe. will rather hive
single and maintain their own personal in
dependence and dignity than draw families
around them and become their material
slaves Besides, the future is destined to
give to celibacy dignity and virtue which
it has not had in the past. 1t is for time
alone to vindicate its rights.
In the growth and prosperity of clubs, in
the increasing disposition of young men to
associate with each other apart from the
other sex, in their constant presence at
places of public amusement without ladies,
may be seen the evidences of decreasing
marriages and increasing celibacies. This
must have tanning, humbling effect upon
women, must weed them of their savage in
dependence, and render them more true to
their social obligations, more alive to the
necessity Of becoming, not fguratively, but
really, social agents. Humility, modesty,
diffidence, are three of the most beautiful
qualities in woman, and are generally
found only in natures as noble and elevated
by inheritance as by cultivation. Our so
cial circles are barren and chaotic without
them orderly, refined, and edifying with
them. They are as highly important in the
doctrines of Christianity as they are in our
secular civilization, adOrn our homes as we'll
as our public assemblies, promote harmony
and put to rest many of the discordant ele-
ments of our natures. Our youth, however,
are very destitute of them our teachings
and practices, our social arrangements and
rivalries, our pride and ambition are very
foreign to their growth if not poisonous to
their maturity The affections of the heart
have no outlet, have 10 soil to grow in
have no sustenance from our superficial and
materialistic education.
In the narrow, dry, and contracted coun-
tenances of our young people, in the care
worn, wrinkled and thought-tangled looks;
are to be seen the ravages wrought by the
vitiated condition of our unusually raw so.
cial system. We banker after riches, we
sigh out our souls for positions, we pine for
aristocratic or gold glded connections, we
shudder at our own loneliness when the
world ceases to be noisy around us, when
our vanity is not tickled, when our selfim-
portance is not inflated by the circle in
which we move, without ever thinking of
the impossible gull between all this and our
true destination as Christians and members
Of civilized community. Need we Won
der, then, if the social keys seldom yield
higher tones than those relating to the
kitchen and its inmates, to the low gossip
and frivolous conduct of certain clique of
fashionable gypsies.
We are glad to know our women 60 to
church, admire their ministers, and partici-
pate usefully in everything pertaining to both,
but see no necessity on their part to be con-
tinually talking on the subject we are glad
to knowthat they have a good doctor, good
music or art teacher, but cannot tolerate an
eternal tongue rafting about them we are
glad to know that mothers have had their
daughters highly accomplished, and fathers
their Sons, but could do without parental
shower of words on the matter; we are glad
to see fine furniture, fine houses, efficient
servants, fashionable milliners and dressmak-
ers, but hate all wearisome speeches and
tantalizing discussions about them. The
few hours set apart for social recreation and
communion might proftably dispense with
such matters; they are foreign to them, and
ought to be regulated to other times and
places. The conversation of women ought
at least, if not instructive-to be refresh
ing and entertaining ought to cast new
life into the carworn souls of business and
professional men. Their querulousness, their
loneliness and their tawdriness loosen the
bonds between them and men, and beget a
want of manly sympathy for them upon
which alone they can securely rely.
If parents not able or willing to give q
marriage dover to their daughters, and
have them nursed thereby in afauent ease
they ought at least to feel the religious OBJ
legation of giving them a good domestic
training and thorough disciplination in
everything relating to household manage