Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1860-01-19
Dum'orous 8eaaing.
ARTEMAS WARD, THE HAPPY
FATHER OF TWINS.

Dear Surs Il take my pen in hand to
inform yu that line in state Of CRATE bills
& trust these lines viii find yu ipjoying the
same blessins. Ime reguvenated. I've found
the immortal waters of youth, so to speak,
and am as timber and frisky as 2 yer old
stear, and in the futur them boys which
sez ego up old bawld he'd to me will do so
at the Perrill of their hazard Individually
line powerfully happy! Heaps of Joy has
descended upon me to act and feel like
bran new man. Sometimes arsk myself,
"is it not dream?' & suthin within my
self seq ait air." but when I look at them
sweet little critters I know it is reallerty
2 reallerties I may sa-& 1 feel gay
Theirs considerable human natur in man,
arter all.
I returned from the summer Campane
with my unparalleled show Of wax-works
and living wild Beasts of Pray, in the erly
part of this month. The people Of Bald
winsville met me cordially and immejittly
commenst resting myself with my farmly.
The other mite while / wos down to the
tavern tosting my shins again the bar-room
fire & amusin the crowd with sum Of my
adventures, who should cum bare-headed
and terrible excited but Bill Stokes who
who sez, seq he 'Old Ward, there's great
doins up at your house.
Sez i, William, how SOP
Sezzhe, tits CRATE doins,' aud then he
larfed as if he'd kill himself.
See ] rising and putin on an austeer
look, William, I wouldn't be fool if l
had common cents
But t.he kept on lar6n tillhe was black in
the face, when he fell over onto the bunk
where the hostler sleeps, and in still
small voice sed twins ashure yu, gents,
that the grass didn't grow under my feet
on my way home, & I was follered by an
enthoosiatic throug of my feller siterzuns; !;
who hurrard for Old Ward at the top eff
their voices Ifound the house chuck full
of people. There was Miss Squire Baxter
and her three grown up darters, lawyer
Perkiuses wife, Taber thy Ripley, young
Ebeu Parsuns, Deakun Simmons folks,
the Schoolmaster, Doctor Jordin, etsettery,
Aetsettery Mrs Ward, Miss Squire Baxter
. was maxim southin in dipper before the
FIRE, and small army of femal wimin we're
->fashin wildly round the house with bottles
of cam6re, peaces Of hannil &c. rusht
out and seased my duble barrild gun.
sWot on airth ails the man p sez Taber-
thy Ripley sSakes alive, what air you a.
doin P & she grabbed me by the coat-tales
sWots the matter with yu?' she coutinu-
ed.
Twins, marm,' sez 1, 'twiusp Il know
it, seq she, coverin her face with her aprun.
wall, sed 1, 'that's wot's the matter with
me- sWall, put down that air gun, you
pesky old fool, sed she.
No, marm,' sez I, 'this is nashunal
day. The glory of this here day issent con-
fined to Baldwinsville, by burned site
On yonder wood-shed,' sed I, DRAWN my
self up to my full hite and speakin in show
actin voise, will fire Nashunal saloot y
sayin which I tared myself from her grasp
and rusht to the top of the shed, where I
blazed away until Squire Baxter's hired
man and my son Artemus Juneyer come
and took me down by name force.
On returning to the kitchen I found
quite lot of people seated bel the fire, a
talking that event over. They made room
for me & I sot down.
sQuite eppisode,' sez Doctor Jordin,
litin his pipe with red hot cole.
'Yes,' sed, I 2 episodes, waing about
Is pounds jintly.'
"A perfect coop de tat said the school
master
sE pluribus unum, in proprietor persony,'
sed 1, thinking Ide let kim know [ under
stood furin landwedges as we'll as he did,
if I wasn't a schoolmaster.
dts momentous event. sed young E.
ben Parsuns, who had been 2 quarters to the
Academy.
i never heerd twins called by that name
afore,' sed I, 'but I spose its all rite
sWe shall soon have Wards enuff;' said
the editur of the Baldwinsville Buge of
Liberty, who was looking over bundle
of exchange papers in the corner, to apply
to the Legislators for city charter
sGood for yu, old man? sed 1 give that
air conspickius place in the next Bugle.'
sHow redicklus! said pretty Susan
Fletcher, Govern her face with her knitting
work and latin like all possesst.
wall, for my part sed Jane Maria
Peasly, who is the crossest old made in the
world, Il think you all act like pack of
FOOLS
Sez I, Miss Peasly are yu parent"
Sez she, NO amt
Sez I, Miss Peasly, yu never will be-
She left.
We sot there talkin & lar6n until 'thc
switch in hour of mite, when graveyards
yawn & Costs troop 4th,' as old Bill Shake
pire aptlee observes in his dramy of John
Sheppard, Esq, or the Moral House Break
er, when we broke up and disbursed.
Mother & children is doin we'll; & as
q Resolutions is the order of the day, [ feel
obleeged if yule insert the follrin-