The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1860-09-26
Nirbma,th q!spatrt.
" rnNEspAY MORNING, SEPT. %, 1860.
Scottish Humar


scottish Humer.
The following amusing anecdotes we copy
from An article in Biackwood's Magazine, ON
..Scottish National Character"
Administer of Grail had been long annoyed
nv the drowsy propeasities in churcn q
farmer, one of his parishioners, one na. .s
Cowan in Trnstrie," and remonstraung on the
subject had his patience conciiiated oy TWO
carloads OF coal which the onenoer engaged
TO drive TO the manse door. nevertheless,
few Sundays after, Dir. Cowan, soon aiter the
commencement of the sermon, fell into
sound sleep as formerly; aud not only so, but
made SO much noise as TO disturb the sitters
near him aud the ministers. Mr.. Glass bore
with il for a while, but at last, being able TO
stand IL no longer, desired the people in the
north loft-AHgtes gaiiery--to "wanken
David Cowan." David, awakening suddenly,
and forgetting where he was, asked the MINIS
ter "if he didn't drive two carloads OF coal 10
the magse last week Ia let him S!csp ~ "ifue,
replied the minister, but did not agree 10
let you sners" simple version o. ',, MI ont
is thar honest David, suddenly ar0ussu oa'
OF the peaceaole rest for which ne hau Nei
pounded, demanded TO know, IN aul| 49,
and indignation, whether me me, , ron,S ei'
a'duue a'resdy "a most natnra inquiry,
Snch tales of coiioquy in church ABOUND
Jenny" asks Dunferiniine minister OF the
same generation, stopping from ms pulpit
..h.ye Won got q preen (pi,.) about We - "Ie s,
,n,oistern Then stick ii into that sleeping
hruta by your side" Such instant punish
msnt m i,st have made IL dangerous work TO tri-
fe with the temper or even attract overmuoh
the notice of these keen-sighted observers.
"a n admirable story of aquiet pull pit rebuke,'
SAYS Dean Ramsay, is traditionary IN the East
Nsuk of Fife aud told of a seeding minister,
a Mr. Shrra, man well remembered by the
older generation for many excellent and some
eccentric qualities. An officer OF volunteer
corps on duty in the place very proud OF ms
fresh uniform, had come 10 MIR. Shirra's
church, and walked about, as II looking for a
east Init in fact TO show oil his dress, which
he saw was attracting attention from some OF
tina less grave members of the congregation
He came TO his place, however, rather quickly,
ON Mr. Shirra q uietly demonstrating 'Oh, man,
will We sit doun, aud Well see your new breeAs
when the kinks dune" TINS same MT.
Shirra was well known from MS quaint ano
as IL were parenthetical comments which he'
introd need in his re aiding of Scrlpturei as, Tor
example in reading from the 1l6th Psalm, Il
said in my haste, all men are liars, ne quieiy
observed Indeed, David, an ye had oeen
This narish We might haze said ii 1T your lei
sure" Those dull old kinks, In the emu OF the
eighteenth century can scarcely nave peeh
so dull as one might suppose. fefnaPs ~ IS
Boanerges storming i'll the pulpit, win AFTER
noon auditors woeiully unable even TO get 10
sleep but TO- dog has followed his master TO
church, and, unseen, somewhere pays uloute
N the eioo uence of the sermon, becoming 'nrst
excited as is not uncommon with some dogs
when hearing noise, ana from wlngeing TO
whining as the speakers voice rises louder and
louder, at last beginning 10 bark ana ho"l
The indignant minister calls upon his
beadle TO eject the intruder. "Ay, ay, sir,
says John, looking up TO the pulpit, "but, III
deed, il was yerself that begun IT." Perhaps
il is still more amusing and confusing en-
counter "Che circumstance happened in d
parish of the north. The clergyman, on COM
ing into the church, found the pulpit occupi-
ed by the parish idiot. The authorities had
baen unable 10 remove him without more yio-
lence than WAS seemly, and therefore waited
for the minister to dIspossess Tam OF the place
he had ass umed. "COme down, sir, lmmedi-
no
call and on Tam being unmoved, II was re-
peated with still greater energy; Tam, how
ever very confidently replied, looking down
from his elevation, ma, ma, minister Just yo
come up wiz me. This is a perverse genera
tion. and, faith, they need us bajth!' Or i'm
agine the effect upon sleepy congregation of
the following little episode. Zone day when
Jamie was sitting in the front gallery, wide
awake wheL many were siumOering round
him. the clergyman endeavored to awaken the
attention of his hearers by stating the fact,
saving you see, even jamie Fraser, the idiot,
does not fall asleep, as so many of You are do
ing" Jamie, not liking, perhaps, to be thus
designated coolly replied, AN If had ma
been an idiot, wad haze been sleeping, too.'-
Or of this much more complimentary and
pleasant in terruption: Another OF these imbe-
Giles belonging TO PEBBLES, had been sitting al
church for some time listening attentlYeiy to
strong representation from the pulpit, OF the
guilt of deceit and ialsehood in Christian
Characters. He was observed TO turn red and
grow very uneasy, until al last, as II wincIng
roared ont "Indeed, minister, there's mair
leears in PEBBLES than me-"
Some emphatic stories are told by Bishop
Lows biographer. OF Fife gentleman, poor
and witty. Awakened suddenly in the mid
die of the night by the unWeicome sound OF
thieves rummaging in his drawers, this phlo-
sopher awoke with all his wits about him,
and the Calmest equanimity OF spirit. Hand
We busy, lads, hand ye busy" he says, quietly;
ian, We find any siiler there j. the dark, it's
mair than l can do in daylight" At another
time the same individual had a company as
sembled TO purchase the trees round his
house, and, as usual under similar circum-
we'll TO introduce a bottle or TWO Of brandy 10
inspire competition. Lord, have q care o.
your daft heads! !" exclaimed the poor laird.
ali had two or three bottles of brandy, dye
think would sell my trees r. Liberal living,
claret and whiskey. not to speak OF attain
ders and confiscatons, put more than trees in
danger but despite our national character
for frugality there are always pointed anec-
hospitable expenditure in Scotland. Nothing
than the reproach of meanness. and against
quality is the trenchant force Of national sar-
casm so contemptuously directed. For ex-
charges his servant, who has accompanied
him, with the common falling, Jamie, you
are drunkn "Indeed, sir answers jamie,
fine is. the irony! 1t might not have been
good for jamie, but at least it would have
been a credit to the house.