Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1860-05-05
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-"Seven Up" The Pleides.-
--Profane men take curse-ory view
of things.
-Cobblers acac sensible to the lost
oaol-ways.
-The BIarney Stone Of ireland -
Shaml ock.
-Adage for Artesian Borers: ''Let
Well enough alone.''
A Political Paradox a Hunter
opposed to Chase.
The Appointment most ofiice-seck-
ers get: Disappointment.
That man lacks moral courage who
treats when he should retreat.
Some Ilishman proposes to have
wake over the ''dead Of night"
Prize fighters are unreliable work
men, being always on the strike.
Poverty is, in some countries, mere
ly an Inability to make ones mark.
-''Aia see that fly in the milk iuc,
He has found q watery grave, hasn't
he 90
w hen you attend the Episcopal
church; keep lookout for the main
chants.
-Tallow-chandlers are sympathet-
ic set, for they are frequently in a melt
ing mood.
Self defense is the clearest of all
laws, and for this reason-the LAWYERS
didn't make it.,
One fault of a deserving man will
meet with more reproaches than all his
virtues will praise.
The poor fellow ''who couldn't hold
his own," has got himself into difficulty
by trying to hold another's.
Veal Is now called 'unGnised beef
lamb, "incipient mutton;" and suck
ing pig ''premonltory pork"
An universal cry after NJ arriaee: "I
wish we had the money now that was
thrown away at our wedding"
There is lady in Grand Rapids.
so ignorant Of all domestic work, that
she cannot even knit her brows.
You may bind mems hearts with
pleasant words more strongly than
bnlfs horns arc bound with ropes.
a FAcT-What is stronger in death
than in life? An old yellow legged
hen. YOU don't believe it try to dis.
sect one after eating.
-Qnoth Patrick Of the Yankee
BE dad, if he was cast away on q
desolate Island, he'd get up next MORN
IN an go round selling maps to the in
habitants."
We think that some Of our vounof
men would be far more anxious than
they are to go to Abraham's bosom if
Abraham, instead Of an old man, were
handsome young woman.
TO one who said, Il do not believe
there IS an honest man in the world"
another replied, s'It is impossible that
one man should know ali the world,
but quite possible that he should know
himsef.''
An innkeeper observed position
with only one spur, and inquired the
reason. 'Why, what would be the use
Of another 2" said the postiflion, sif one
side OF the horse goes, the other can't
lag behind"
Sir John Irwin was a fayorite with
George the III, who once observed TO
him, ''They tell me, Sir John, that you
love a glass Of wine" "Those," re-
piled Irwin, "who so informed your Maj
esty have done me great injustice
they should have said bottle"
The Bath Times thinks it is a bad
sign for bachelor lawyer, when nc
gets up to speak in court, to draw g
wonan's night cap from his pocket on
which to wipe his nose, thinking it a
white handkerchief The strings are
apt to be noticed, and to awaken ur.
pleasant suspicious.
-Adversity exasperates fools. de.
jects towards, draws out the faculties
Of the wise and ingenious, puts the
modest to the necessity of trying their
skill, avs the opulent, and makes the
idle industrious. Muck may be said
in favor Of adversely, but the worst Of
it is, it has 10 friends.
w hat do You do thet makes YOUR
self look delicate o. said one young la
dy to another wholooked Ike one of the
departed. "Why," said she, ''some-
times l eat slate pencils and chalk, and
then for change I drink vinegar, and
masticate green tea. When these fail,
lace tighter, and wear the thinnest
soied shoes that I can buy