Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1853-1862, 1860-10-03
Desperate Love.Cha.e ana i.s Re.ul,..

Desperate LOVe-Chase and its Results.
Joe Lively is friend of mine, who is generally
known among his acquaintance as a regular lady
killer" He gets himself up in the very best style
lis always good-natured gOod-looking, and, as he
says himself, "dOu't care button for any man,
There were great many beauties pining in
thought, sttin in monuments, and all that sort of
thing, without ever breathing their love for him;
but his marble heart never warmed to one, with
than the ordinary love he felt for the rest of
the human family, until he met with Cleopatra
Shakeof. Her fatal glance pierced him through
and, ike ''Claude Melnotte,"
'He sought to borrow from each grace.
And every charm, such attributed as lend
Ideal charms to love-"
He discarded shoemakers, because they would
not pinch his feet down the proportions of those
of Chinese BELLE He changed his tailors because
they could not make his form resemble that of an
Apollo Belvidere. His cravats and neck-tles were
more abundant than those of Beau Brummel; and
his kid gloves Outnumbered "the leaves of Nanam-
brOsas vail"
He studied Romeo and juliet, and dreamed over
the pages that chronicled the love of Abelard and
Helcise became affected to tears on listening to the
heart-rendng ballad of Wilkins and his Dinah " and
seriously demonstrated with a friend for heartless-
" smiling at the sad consequences of Dinahs "cup
Of cold pi-sen.
He consulted seventh daughters of seventh
daughtersn-made private purchases IN literature
bearing such titles as Courtship Made Easy and The
Lovers Touchstone-and, IN fact, became lovesick
even to the loss of his appetite No succulent beef
steak, redoent of gravy and roast potatoes could
tempt his palate and for him, "oysters in every
styleu had lost their attraction.
Like the chameleon, he seemed to feed on air and
but for love potion, which he was often known to
imbibe from a vessel labeled with the mysterious
word "0tard." his once Jubilant spirits would have
entirely disappeared.
Why it was that this passion affected him in so
strage manner, was for long time mystery
| Cleopatra smiled him-nay, encouraged him
Her bright eyes We're brighter for his coming, and
her smile was sweeter in his presence. When he
touched her hand, hundred electric batteries could
not his blood, or so knock his heart around
| insanely pattng his tender sides against his ribs
At last the reason OF his tears of an unreuuited
| love was revealed. Once, under the influence of
that potent elixir which was his love potion he I'M
folded the story He had rival A fellow he
| said not four feet high" He had no tongue
| could say nothing but "yes' and no. and knew
no more that Shakespeare and Byron were poets
! than that they werewolf, savage butchers HIS
| name was Harmless, and in appearance and manner
| he was the very incarnation of his cognomen. Joe
said he yet visited the object of his affection
without finding him seated there immOvabe in the
position and attitude that he had last left him.
| Why the ID he went there, and what encourage
| ment he got, Joe couldn't see. When there was
| dancing, it was on JOe's arm that CLEOPATRA was
whirled through the mszes; when Cleopatra sang it
was JOes hand that turned the leaves of the music
and it on Joe she cast her eyes when her melo-
dious voice swelled with the lines:
| sob never till life and memory perish,
| Can forget how dear thou art to me-"
For all this he never left there contented. Some
how other, that insignificant pocket edition of
| humanity troubled him. He had a presentiment
that all was not right, and still his appetite waned-
| he grew too thin for his clOthes-and his weight
! fell off by dozens of pounds.
This could not continue long so he determined to
| bring things to a crisis perish in the attempt
He made up his mind to make application for the
adys hand on the first opportunity that presented
| itself.
So one night he got himself up with more than
| usual care. His patentIeather boots fitted to
charm-his coat well padded, to make I'D for the
uninterrupted loss of his flesh that had been going
on in his fair proportions for long a SPELL was
filled up without wrinkle-his peg-tOp inexpressi-
bles of the finest dOeskin were orienally Iuxurant
| in their broad dimensions and, take him on the
whole, he looked the glass of fashion and the mold
of form"
With much trepidation he pulled the bell at the
residence of his beloved, and being ushered into
the rOOm the first object that met his gaze was his
everlasting rival. Still in the same pOsiton-and
as ever, apparently unconscious of any new visi-
tor.
Joe felt desperate and for a moment deliberated
as to whether it would be the best to brain the in
sance object with a valuable Sewers vase but con-
cluded to defer that operation until some more IA
vOrable opportunity, and took his seat.
Soon Cleopatra swept into the room, radiant and
beautiful as her namesake of Egypt. and stirring
more emotion in poor Joe heart than Mark Antony
ever dreamed of. She greeted him cordially, and
he pressed her hand, he looked triumph at
his rival and begged the privilege of few moments
private conversation. The request was granted
and they retired for that purpose.
Joe was in fiutter-his heart went plt-a paths
head got hot and the blood coursed through his veins
like mill-pond in a storm. He asked her if "she
did not know '-'' was not aware ~" could she not
see'-did she not?" Now these questions were all
very ambiguous. and Cleopatra smiled and babe
him be more definite in his enquiries. At last,
with superhuman courage, he declared his pass
ion in Ineligible terms, and offered her his hand,
and with his dreadful excited heart. He paused
for q reply, and Cleopatra-she that he calls his
Cleopatra, wept and babe him say more. She
would confide in him-tell him a secret, and trust
to his honor for its safe keeping. ''She had been
married privately to Mr.. Harmless three week agoi'
Joe heard and was startled though struck by
thunderbOlt. There immediate disruption
of his kid glOves-the curls in his luxuriant hair
slowly unwOund themselves, and he threw a back
summerset, they do in the circus, and then traV-
eed for the door; into the room where his success
full rival set he rushed for vengeance. His thoughts
were bloody and 'hs hands apt" but one glance at
the harmless character Of his intended vctem dis
armed him of his anger, and it vanished like sum
mer cloud He approached him, and cordially
shook his hand, at the telling him that he
the bestlOOking cove he ever saw to be successful
IN a lOve-chase Harmless said 'ya-as,' and Joe left
He has since quite recovered from the effects of
his disappointment, but it is yet little dangerous
to mention in his hearing the of the celebrated
daughter of the PtoOmIes whose amOurs were so