Pomeroy weekly telegraph. [volume] (Pomeroy, Meigs County, Ohio) 1860-1866, 1860-02-14
@ and @isdont.

EyA A bachelor after discovering his
clothes full of holes, exclaimed "Mend-i>
can't ~. .,..-
1@rIf the bills before Congress are
not counterfeit why should there be such
difficulty in passing them.
s@ Why is an old horse put up for
sale like an errand boy? Because
he'll gofor what III fetch. c7
m- Why is food to a hungry man like
half-past ten o'clock of Sunday? Ans.
-7Because it is meat-in7t time. -
D9- What mechanic may be expected
to. outliye, all others? The boot and
shoemake he is everlasting.
Se- Why are ladies' eyes like friends
separated by distant elimes? Because
they correspond, but never meet.
Who has the greatest power of
endurance in these days?I The ladies,
of course, DON they stand out against all
creation? - Il. :. .s',..l.g
The most tender hearted man we
ever heard of was a shoemaker, who al
ways shut his eyes and twhistled when he
run his awl into a SOLE
~ The common opinion is, that We
should take good care of our children
at all seasons of the year, but tbs well
enough in winter to let them slide.
ge5- Among the articles announced
Tor sale in an auction, we perceived an
article entitled "mahogany child chair"
The father Of this wonderful child must
have been of the Wood family.
,hm- Avoid argument with ladies' In
spiuning yarns among silks. and satins,
! man is sure to be wortsted and twisted
And when man is worsted and twisted,
he may consider himself wound up.
@-". ".Cuffy, why don't you kick. that
dog?' "What am the use oh kicking
ebery cur that snarls at you? Don't you
know dat am de way he wants you to
bring him into notice?' All ours do
not walk on four legs.
ReA- A person having occasion to no
tify his doctor to visit his wife, said to
him as he was stepping into the chaise-
Nov, doctor, you'll drive to kill, won't
you2" ''Yes, certainly" replied the
sa- An original way of answering two
questions at time:
'Here, Biddy, my darlint, what's the
time o night, and where's the pertaty
pudding?" fsg,l.
a-"I thought you said that lot of
pork you sold the other day, Mr..
vas corn-fed. It's no such thing, sir;
and you know it. Instead of corn-fed,
it was fattened on acorns!'' so, hor'
replied .coolly; "did I say so?
Really, it's mistake; I forgot to put the
"a in!' I.ssl
Bar At what age should girl marry?
When she has had enough of flirting,
knows how to get good dinner, and has
made up her mind to accept the trials, as
well as pleasures, of her new relations,
whatever they may be, with that forti-
tude good woman always manages to
muster. g. rs zE b
h@- The Masonic Register for 1860
states that the whole number of Lodges
of Free Masons in the United States and
Territories and other countries is $3.50,
and allowing an average Of IS members
to each lodge, the whole number of Free
Masons throughout the world is 413, 400.
D9 Look out for rabbits, and other
nibblers among the tender trees and
shrubs in the fruit garden, lest they
gnaw off the bark and spoil your choicest
fruit trees. A smearing of blood from
the butcher. or rancid grease, is said to
be preventive The fascals do the
mischief by night, when the boys and
dogs are asleep.
aA-T The subject Of impression at first
sight, was being talked over at the sup
per table, when the lady whose dnty was
to preside ''oversthe teacups and tea,"
said she always formed an idea of per-
son at first sight, and generally found it
to be correctH i = .l ,
"Mammap said her youngest son, in
voice that attracted the attention of all
present.
"WelI, my dear, what is it?'' replied
the fond mother.
tIwant to know what was your opin-
iontof me when you first saw me?'
This question gave sudden turn to
the conversation.
Don't know Oysters.