The Ashland union. [volume] (Ashland, Ashland County, Ohio) 1854-1868, 1860-09-12

j
men are as much to be blamed for it as the
women. OF course 1 never assent to this.
4 proposition; and that leads to friendly argu-
ment, from which in my own opinion, al
ways gain the advantage-thoughI must CON-
/ fess that am occasionally overbornc by a
torrent of words, especially when some friend
ly neighbor espouses my wifs's side of the
question. In such cases beat hasty retreat;
and watch my opportunity for = new attack
upon the position of the.encny under more
favorable auspices.
My wife detests founces (she is too stout
to wear them), has no hankeriag ter amoires
antique" and only knows of "Honiton" by
having seen it mentioned in our daily paper.
To be sure she dosen't believe all the criti-
cisms upon the fashions which she sees in that
paper, and she even goes so far as to say that
she has no idea that the editor himself believes
them. think she is hardly just to the edi-a
tor-a very clever fellow by-the-way, who new
er NEEDLES with any thing but politics, except
Church matters, ladies' dresses, and fsh-and
who never gets into trouble as long as he sticks
to the politics and fish.
But to return to the black silk dress. Some
years ago G don't care to remember how
many), under the influence of affection and a
/ delusion in regard to my financial prospect,
had made rash promise to purchase such an
article for her especial use and adornment; but
proviso, "some time" We had previously
canvassed the relative merits of calicoes, cash.
meres, silks and satins, and had decided that
| one coed silk dress was worth half a dozen of
any others, not only for its present purpose
but as being more available in its latter stages
| for the decoration of the young scions of our
| house, and sly hint was thrown out that
spare sbreadth" out of the skirt might be
very useful in refacing any coat of mine that
might happen to stand in need of that opera
ton. The sssome time" before alluded to,
has not yet arrived, and from present appear
ances it is far off as when the promise was
made. Still it fingers in my wife's memory,
and she occasionally brings it to mind among,
/ fear, many other unfulflled promises.
ssIu regard to the dress, you may depend
upon having it 'tsome time, ," but the treasures
of which 1 was speaking are not exactly
available for that purpose at present." l re-
piled; "but can easily convince you that we
are possessed Of them. Are there not seven
rosy checked cherubs Cat least you call them
so when they are not in mischief) now sleep
ing in happy unconsciousness of money and
its attendant evils, each one of them worth his
weight in gold F? I've heard you say so many
time Now at a moderate estimate they will
average fifty pounds piece. Even California
gold is worth two hundred dollars pound.
So we have three hundred and fifty pounds of
eherubs at two hundred dollars pound, which
j according to simple multiplication, makes
seventy thousand dollars wossa OF those hea-
venly bodies alone.
"Nonsense, Persy"-
"Oh but it isn't nonsense. There 1t Is,
figured out according to your own estimate,
and very pretty little sum it makes to begin
the world with. Now, my dear, what is my
love worth !'
This was a poser. My wife looked up in a
haze Of blank astonishment her mind grasp
, ed the idea, and trembled for fear she might
say "nothing," and thus overturn; the whole
groundwork of my theory. But as soon as
She had swallowed the idea and mentally di-
! gested it, she replied,
"Why don't you ask me what the air is
f worth2 for could dispense with one as well
, as the other"
: I thanked my wife for the compliment, and
r congratulated myself that she had drawn no
worse comparison between my love and the
e air; and continued,
"Well then what do you consider the all
f worth ?"
J., "I shan't answer any such foolish question:
I! for, if you go on with your calculations, you'll
: make us out millionaires."
? sThat's what I intend to do; and think
), am safe in putting down the love at a hundred
: thousand. Then, there is my honor, which is
worth at least as much as the love"
r "I've no doubt of ii" interrupted my wife
r "For you wouldn't value the enc without
t the other. So there you have the sum total O
e three items alone-cherubs, seventy thousand
v + love, a hundred thousand; and honor much
more, making the snug sum of more than I
e quarter OF a million of dollars, to say nothing
t Of other items that might be mentioned ane
e which would perhaps double the amount, be
It sides cash on hand amounting to one doHa
8 and seventy cents
e I paused here for my wife to appreciate the
d full force of my reasoning (she is a little slov
# at figures) and when she had time to turn tn
whole subject in her mind, ] asked,
!, ssWhat have you to say to that 7"
d Gall have to say to that" replied my wife
d ais, that wouldn't advise you to set up car
Il rage on the strength of your property. AM
d if [ thought we were worth a quarter OF tha
d sum, wouldn't mend such looking stocking
{, as this" Saying which, she held up th
K stocking of our eldest girl, minus the heel AM
1, two thirds of the toe, with large rent nea
the top of the leg.
II "And then look at that, and that, and that
t, size continued, as she successfully prese nte
.e for my inspection the various articles whic
1, constitute the Juvenile wardrobe; AID / mus
l. confess that, seen through that medium, m
b imposing array of figures seemed scarcet
s. large enough to fll one of the smallest rent
among the multitude. Still I fondly hope
Of that my calculations had had tendency t
9, raise my wife's spirits, and l was un~illin
1t that she should sink back into that slough Q
!" darning needles and yarn. So continue
K the subject kns W
or "Clothes, my dear; especially in the case Q
at children, are mere matter OF form, bin
er adherence to the customs of society. 1t j
le cost more to wear shreds and patches tha
Is than whole garments--if rents and rips coul
e. be rendered fashionable, all the world woul
il be out at elbows. But though society turn
70 up its nose at last years fashions-thoug
To- love looks askance at seedy lover, and eve
RS the Church puts its ban on the threadbar
rp coat, you and can jog on our way REGARDLESS
ii Of froWns and favofs, conscious of that hidde
ID treasure which gilds and brightens our earthl
Sd existence. s 9stE
O. "And then again compare orr eonditlo
ie with that of our first parents, when they ma
q, notice to quit from the Great Landlord, an
II 6.st ao1,rnanAe& sekeeniIiu ON their oW