Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1860-02-02
fmt, fun 4 fantlp,

-. He that cannot forgive others, breaks
the bridge over which he himself must pass.
-. Avoid temptation, through fear you
may not be able to overcome it,
-. Gas bills are, in military phrase, 'Hea-
w charges of the light brigade
-. Sal soda will bleach one spoonful is
enough for kettle of clothes.
-. Never assail the dead. Who, that
has the least regard for himself, wishes an
encounter with ghost?
-. To work our own contentment, we
should labor not so much to increase our
substance as to moderate our desires.
=. Why is young lady like bill Of ex-
change? Because she is out to be settled
when she arrives at maturity.
go. AS We grow older, it is with hearts as
with heads of hair-it is not easy to dis
tinguish the true from the false.
=. The young woman who was 'driven to
Distraction now fears that she will have to
walk back. -- :,
-. Can't we make your lover jealous,
miss p 'Oh, yes, sir, I think We can, if
we pat Our heads together.' '...1-
-. It is claimed that mass of the best
Canal coal, of the size of whale, contains
more oil than whale. ...-.-'.a
-. Many one shifts his sins as men
do their clothes they put off one to put on
another. This is but waiting on the devil
in new livery.
80. We must look downwards as well as
upwards in human life. Though many
have passed you in the race, there are many
you have left behind.
=" A western editor asks what ought to
be done with woman that smokes We
shouldn't think of molesting her if she had
him for to back her. ..-...
." A contemporary inquiries if the young
ladies of the present day are fitted for
wives. A much more important inquiry,
is, whether they are fitted for husbands
=" An acquaintance boasts that his virtues
are in everybody's mouth. He is decidedly
mistaken. His vices are in other peoples
mouths, and his virtues in his eye.
"A couple of robbers fell upon John
Bush, of Baton Rouge, and robbed him of
shinsRaster of Mississippi railroad bank.
That was taking the rag from the Bush.
a.. Beautiful was the reply Of venerable
man to the question, whether he was still
in the land of the living. mo, but am
almost there
-. The editor who kissed his sweetheart,
saying, please exchange is believed not
to have exceeded the proper 'liberty of the
press
-" Two classes of people are always out of
debt-those who never want to buy what
they haven't money in hand to pay for, and
those who are such notorious rascals that
they can't get trusted.
-" A quizzical editor in Arkansas, who
rejoices in the rather quizzical name of Har-
ry Hurry, says that~truth is generally slow
in its progress Probably it is never in
such Hurry as he.
-. A western editor, noted for brilliancy,
says that he would rather put. questions
than respond to chem. He has probably
read that fools may ask questions, but that
it takes wise men to answer them.
=" There are two classes of persons of
whom it may be truly said that their word
is as good as their bond-those whose word
is never broken, and those whose bond is
good for nothing.
=" A western editor boasts that his State
furnishes greater quantity of oats than
any other in the Union. He forgets to say
whether she also furishes greater number
of asses to eat them.
:" A lady who could not conceal from
herself the plainness of her face, boasted
that her back was perfect. That is the
reason, suppose, that your friends are al
ways glad to see it, said one of her listen
ers.
-. A house-keeper having kept hired
man on liver nearly month, said to him
one day, why, John, you don't seem to
like liver %, yes said John; Il like it
very well, for fifty or sixty meals; but I
don't like it as steady diet
-. Never be rude or say to man, There's
the door ; address him more politely thus,
Elevate your golgotha to the summit of
your peficranium, and allow me to present
to your demonstration that scientific piece
of mechanism which constitutes tho egress
portion of this department.
-. "A jurymau having applied to the Re-
corder to be excused from serving, on ac-
count of deafness, the latter asked, Gould
you not hear my charge to the grand jury,
Sir? Yes, I heard every word of it, was
the reply, but couldn't make any sense of
it.
-. No woman can be lady who would
wound or mortify another. No matter how
beautiful, how refined, how cultivated she
may he, she is in reality coarse, and the
innate vulgarity of her nature manifests
itself here. Uniformly kind, courteous,
and polite treatment of all persons is one
mark Of true woman.
... Dean Trench, in his work on English,
Past and Present, after noticing the ano-
malous construction of the word cits,' says
it 'does not once occur through the whole
of our authorized version of the Bible
occurs only three times in all Shakespeare
was word unknown to Ben Johnson
was not admitted into his Poems by Milton
and did not come into common use uu-
til few years before Dryden sanctioned it
in his writings
-. The most beautiful flowers are those