The weekly Ottumwa courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1857-1872, 1860-02-02

-..- Pleasures of Skating, .fr
Right beneath one of our windows. from
morn to midnight, we see youngsters and
ot.sters twisting their legs in all conceivable
snaps, skating up and down the river, as
I merry as lambs We can not pick up pa
per, but an article on skating meets the
eye. Every body says it's fun, and that $
all everybody knows about it, for we've tried
It. Last night about gas light time, after
readinga glowing description of life on skates.
we prepared for our first attempt, and sailed
forth to join the merry crowd We had on
pair OF stoga boots. trousers, legs tucked
inside, robert tailed coat, and white hat
We went down on the ice, and gave boy
two shillings in good coin of the realm for the
use of his impliments. We had con idence
even as great as Peters faith. We. with
the assistance of friend, fixed on the skates
and stood erect like barber's pole. En-
courascd W the sight of some ladies on the
bridge who were just then locking at tho
skaters, we struck out. A slant to the ri.At
with the Tirhf foot, slant to the left with
the left foot-and Just then we saw some
thing on the ice, and stopped over to pick it
up. On our feet aoaIn--two slants to the
right and one to the left, accompanied with
loss of confidence. Another stride with
the right foot and we set down with fearful
rapijity, and very little if any elegance,-
What set down it was, for we made dent
in the ice not unlike Connecticut butter
bowl
just then one ofthe l.e,ies Remarked, Oh,
look, Mary that feller with the white hat
han't got his on tie right place. Ditto
thought we. Just then a ragged little devil
sang out as he gided past US, "Hallo, old
timber legs !" and we arose suddenly and
put after him, and away went our legs-one
to the east, the other to the west causing al,
immense fissure in our pants, and another
picture OF butter-tray in the cold-oh hon
coth ice. Then the lady-we knew she
was one by the remark she made-arain she
spoke and said, 'Oh look, Mary, that chap
with white hat has set down on his hand
kerchicf to keep from taking coldr' We
rose about as graceful as a horse, when
Mary said, Guess 'taint a handkerchief
Jane" and Mary was right. 1t wasn't a
handkerchief not a bit of it. Just then a
friend came along, and protfered us his coat
tail as a "steadler." We accepted the con-
tinuation of his garment, and up the river we
went, about ten rods, when shy to the right
by the leader, caused us, the wheel horse, to
scoot off on a tangent, heels up But the
ice is very cold, this season
| We tried it again. A glide ono way-a
glide and half the other, when whack came
our bump of philoprogenitiveness on the ice.
| and we saw million OF stars dancing around
US, like ballet girls at the Bowery Theater.
How that shock went through our system,
and.up and down our spinal cclnmn Light
ming coulden't have corkscrewed it down a
creased sapling with greater speed or more
exhlirating effect Boarding house butter
nor warranty deed could not have struck
stronger than we did-and dozen ladies
locking at us-and our assured pants;
"Hallo, old cock!' sang out that ragged
imp again, and we there helpless. Soon We
got up and made another trial, with better
success. Perhaps we had skated, in our Pc
cuiisr style, fifteen feet, when laundering
chap came up behind, and we sat down with
our tired head pillowed in his lap--and he
swearing at us, when it was all his fault -
How could the ice was there, too. Every
| spot where we made our debut on the ice
| oh, how cold it was. Our bearskin drawers
| were no protection at all. w tried again
for the papers all say it's fun, and down cams
our roman Grccian nose on the cold juler
material, and the little drops of crimson rar
down our shirt bosom, and on to the colf
ice. ---s
Once more we tried skating-madef for the
shore--sat dovn and counted damages
Two shillings in cash thrown away. Severa
lateral and one 'fronternar' bumps on tn
ice. One immense fissure in as handsome
pair often dollar cassimers as man ever pu
his legs in.
Our rupture in the knee, extending to tn
bone. Four buttons from our vest, with
{ "fragmented" watch crystal, and back
ache big enough to divide among the children
of Israel. Ifyou catch us on the smooth
CLASSY, chilling, FREEING, treacherous, deceit
ful, slippery and slpuppery ice again, yon'l
know il ! If any one ever hears Of our ska
ting again they will please draw on us n
sight for the bivalves and accompanvin!
documents. We have got through skating
IL is a vexation of spirit of business, of flesh
| and tearer of trowsersi It's head -humpin
back-aching, lcg-wearying institution, an
we warn people against skating. We tried
: and shan't be able TO walk for month :
Skating clubs are hunhugs, and all the ras
r cally Youngsters wish to get tho ladies at il
that they may see--,f they too, don't say
''the ice is dreadful cold" It's nothing
US, bat the ladies will do as well to let skate
alone. unless they are younger and NOR
: elastic than are we. Ughl how cold the ic
. is-we can feel it yet!