davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1860-05-16
SIXTEEN YEARS OLD.

1t is Just sixteen years since Prof.
Morse put up the first Electric Telegraph
in America. The first piece of news sent
o;cr it was tie nomination Of James X.
Polk for President, made at Baltimore,
and announced in Washington ''over two
hours in advance Of the mail"
No one at that day, probably not even
the Professor himself, dreamed how close
Il the Zee nc VIE would be interviewer
with our daily life. Now, railroad trains
are run by electricity. Thieves are caught
by electri,iy. Lost children are found
" electricity. Fire bells are rung 10y
electricity. Watches are set and clocks
sriko by electricity. Armies march and
fleets sail at its word. Two friends in re-
mote towns, by its help, sit down and
hive a friendly game of chess. Two
Empercrs, thou aid miles apart, by its
help, carry on the siege of distant
city.
By night it flies all over the world. ga
thering news to serve up to us at break
fast. By day it flies ali over the world,
here congratulating bride, there order
inc funeral, here warning disaster, there
summoning help to wreck, here buying
pork by tie Kindred barrels, there selling
grain by the thousand bushels, arranging
for feasts and fights, tor sermons and
stock bargains, for the harmonies of q
Concert and the discord of Convention,
for law-making and for law breaking. the
fill of Empires and of thermometers,
the candidates for the Presidency and the
candidates for the Penitentiary. Truly
the romance of the Arabian Nights is
anne beside the reality Of the Electric
Vile!
The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1860-05-16

right ieg, and turned up in two prongs
directly under the sole OF his right foot.
.sNo WONDER" said Tushmaker, ''that
he raised bis leg"
The jury thought SO too. but they
found the roots much decayed, and two
surgeons swearing that modification
would have ensued in few month,
Tushmaker was cleared on a verdict If
'.justifable homicide"
He was little shy of that instrument
afterwards; but one day an old lady,
feeble and faccid, camo into have her
tooth drawn, and thinking it would como
out very easy, Tushpaker concluded just
by way Of variety, TO try the machine.
He did so and at the fist turn drew
the old lady's skeleton completely and
entirely from her body, leaving her
mass ofquivering jelly in her chair.
Tushmak :r took her home in pillow
ease. She lived seven years after that
and they called her the "India rubf err
woman" She had suffered terribly with
the rheumatism, and after this occurc &C
never lad any pain in her bones. Tie
dentist kept them in glass case.
After this machine was sold to the con-
tractor of the Boston custom house, and
it was found that single child, Tires
o. age, could, Iy single turn of tie
screw, raise stone weighing twenty five
tons.
Smaller ones were made on the san
principle, and sold to the keel ers Of h'-
tells and restaurants. They were ady;n-
tageously used for boning turkeye.
There is no moral at all to this stor--,
and it is possible that the circumstance $
may have become slightly exaggerat'
OF course, their can. be no doubt of tIo
incident.
The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1860-05-16

were alike that owl we read of which
kept up dsvil of a thinking is rather
narrow base fora reputation to rest
on; its steady, perpendicular mainten-
ance is excusable. But it is still the
truth that Trophonius' cave is no temple
of wisdom in any kind; gravity no ne
cessary sign, test or product of it. Here
come willing witnesses to support the
proposition. There is Democritus, the
Bacon Of antiquity, constant laughter
a nong the foolish Abderites. Socrates,
though d,formity and q shrew were
against him, was any thing rather than a
Clio omy man. Martin Luther played
softly on his flute, and drank his glass,
and blithely sang:
'Kho loves not women, wine, and song,
Liveth fool his whole life long
nor ever dishonorsd his notes. Crom-
well loved his bout and jest with his sold
iery; no weak men, he nor they. Nay,
Milton, the inspired, wrote IAllegro'
almost not inferior'to his greater poem.
Wisdom may dress in motley as well as
il black. Rabelais, Richter, Sterne, are
sound moralists in their way, as sound as
though they were quito unreadably dull;
and | will add Swift, although he was
diseasedly cross and dirty sometimes ;and
Boccaccio, who gives me my text, as he
has given nae many other things, directly
or remodelled by other poets, although
sometimes LIE grows somewhat too gay
forinnocence. Note the purest innocence
does not always blush the reddest. The
truest piety is not the most acid. The
ripest learning is not the dullest. TIE
highest wisdom is not the coolest. Grapes
and turtles; harps and viols; fair forms
and faces; the blessed sun and summer
breezes; what were taste, and hearing,
and sight, and the sense oftouch but for
these, and these for us? | should think
it best then for us, as we are, to take
such enjoyment, such mcrriment, such
pleasure rs we car.
The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1860-05-16

stand and look at that aboat a week
they'd never want to drink again. He
said he wished so too. x.#.
"Take il all in all, I was mad. l
didn't see what expected and the idea
Of being humbugged l did't like, so l en-
quired of enc of the men who was stir
ring up the monkeys, where Barnum was
and lie pointed him out to ne selling
lemonade out of a.wagon. went up to
him, and thinks |. III give him a piece
of my mind. SEE l, Mr.. Barnum--
"Sixpence glass" SEE he.
Il looked at his lemonade. There was
inst one lone, solitary, second handed
slice Of lemon swimming in whole wash
tub full of it, and he peddled it out at six
pence glass. That made me madden
than ali the rest, SO says /. loud and aud
erbIy, Mr.. Barnum, l think your show is
p darned humbug."
"Young man." seq he, 81 s'pose you
paid your money 10 come in. Well,now
you've perfect right to think Just a0hot
you dorned please"
why" said the Major, "did you not
demand your money back. You could
certainly have compelled them to refund
you: halfdollar."
you see the truth is" said Jonathan,
with scratch of the head, 81 didn't pay
q halt; Icrawled IN nnder tie caa0as."
The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1860-05-16
Qoftrg
LAST WORDS.

Open the western window, love
Draw tie white drapery aside;
A fresher zephyr flaws my checks e
Another summer day has died.
A little while, and with tie dav, =
Down Deaths slant hill-slopes shall go.
Alone my untaught feet must tread
The path Into the wales below.
Hold me upon your faithful heart,
While dimly shine the coming stars,
Aud languidly my weary soul
Trembling against its loosened bars.
1t will seem strange 10 see me lie
Silent and voieeless in my rest
No sound, no motion-these pale. hands
Folded upon no heaying breast.
! wore white rose-buds ia my hair,
Only a few short months ago,
At our blest bridal. When / sleep
In deaths still quiet, crown me so.
We hav. been very happy, love:
Were any e'er so blest before
Hold me more closely very soon
You cannot clasp me any more.
] did not think to leave you SO,
/ hope to bless you many years
To bless you with glad hours; and now
In death | leave you Loves sad tears,
have so loved you. that think
God will not part us evermore:
And that a fuller life of love
Awaits us on the starry shore.
Your life will very lonely be,
AT first but you are brave and strong.
know you will forgive your wife
Where she has hayward been, and wrong.
The flowers I loved will bloom again,
And the great world-heart throb the
same:
Aud soon, how soon will die away
The faintest echoes of my name!
1t will not matter. | shall be
Where doubt and WEAKNESS shall cease
From lite's hot tumults safely kept.
In the cool shadows of His peace.
How the red clouds fade 1t scemeth
strange!
And the west wind is growing chill:
Kiss me my darling Do lot weep
A death so painless and so still
The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1860-05-16
AYANKEE HIRED MAN.

Abel Stebbins was good specimen #
that extraordinary hybrid or mule be-
tween democracy and chrysocracy, an
tive-born New England serving man,
The Old World has nothing at all like
hun. He is at once an emperor aud n
subordinate. In one hand he holds OF
five millionth part (be the same more or
less) Of the power that sways the destineS
of the Great Republic. His othel hand
is in your boot, which ho is about to pos
ish. tits impossible to turn ii fellow cit
izen whose vote may make his master
say, rather, emrloyer-Gosernor or
President, or who may Le one or b. tn
himself, into funky. That article mus
be imported ready made from other cen-
ters of civilization. When n New Eng
Under has lost his self respect as q citizen
and as man, he..is demoraIized, IN
cannot be trusted with the money to pay
for dinner.
II may be supposed, therefore, thet
this fractional emperor, this continent
sbaper, finds his position awkward when
he goes into service, an that his employ
er is apt 10 find it still more embarrassing
1t is always under protest that the hired
man does his dltv. Every act of service
is subject to the draw back, i am as good
as you are.' This is SO common, at least,
as almost to be rule, anil partly accounts
for the rapid disappearance Of the indig,
enous domestic from the easements a.
bove mentioned. Psychologists will bv
and by be- examining tie floors. of our
kitchens for tracks of the extinct natv
species of serying-man. The female IF
the same race is fast dying out; indeed,
the time is not far distant wien all the
varieties Of young women viii have van,
isled from New England, as the dodo has
persisted in the Msnrittus. The young
lady is all that we shall have left, aud the
mop and duster of the last AImira or
Loizy WILDE stared at by generations Of
Bridgets ana Noras as the famus heal
aud foot of tho lost bird are stared ut in
the Ashmoleou Muscum.-Dr, Hot
mes. "
The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1860-05-16
NEW MACHINE.

Ono of the brief hits by "John Phe-
Nix" at the follies Of the time, is contain
ed in that inexhaustible fund of fun, his
volume of "Phenixiana."
DIR. Tushmaker was never regularly
bred as physician or surgeon, but he
possessed naturally a strong mechanical
g MUS and fine appetite, and finding his
teeth Of great service in CRAFTY ne his lat-
ter propensity, he concluded that he could
do more good in the world and create
more real happiness therein by putting
the teeth of the inhabitants in good or
der, than any other way; SO he became
n dentist.
He was the man who first invented
the method ofplacing small cog wheels
in the back teeth, for the more perfect
mastication of food; and he claimed to
be the original discoverer of that method
of filling cavities with a kind of putty,
which, by becoming hard, directly causes
the tuoth to ache SO grievously, that it has
to be pulled, thereby giving the dentist
two successive fees for performing the
same job.
Tushmaker was one day seated in his
Office in the city of Boston, Mass, when
stout old fellow, named Byles, presen-
ted himself to have a back tooth drawn.
The dentist seated his patient in the chair
Of torture, and opening bis mouth discov-
cred an enormous tooth on the right hand
side about as large, as be afterward ex-
pressed it, "as small polyglot bible"
Il shall have some trouble with this tooth,
thought Tushmaker; but he clappcd on
his heaviest forceps and pulled. 1t didn't
come. Then he tried the turnscrcw, ex-
erting his utmost strength, but it wouIu' ut
come.
"Go away from here" said Tushmaker
to Bycs, ''and will draw that tooth out
for you, or You'll know the reason why"
Byles got up, clapped handkerchief
to bis jaw, and left.
The dentist went to work, and in three
days he invented an instrument which he
was sure would pull anything. Ii was
combination Ct the lever, pulley, wheel
and axles, inclined plane, wedge ard
screw. The casting was made and the
machine put up in the ofic", over an in n
chair, rendered stationary by iron rods
going down in the foundation of the gran
lie building.
Ina week old Bylcs returned; ne was
clamped into the iron chair, the forceps
connected with the machine attached firm
ly to the tooth, and Tushmaker, stationing
himself in the rear, took hold of the lev
er, four feet long.
He tarned it slightly-old Byles gave
groan, and lifted bis right leg. Anoth-
err turn, another groan, and higher went
old Byle's right leg again.
"What do you rase your right leg
for!' asked the doctor.
Il can't help it." said the patient.
"Well," said Tushmaker, 'the tooth is
bound to come now"
He turned the lever clear round with
suddenly jerk, and snapped old Byles'
head clean and clear from his shoulders,
leaving a .spacs of four inches between
the several parts, 4
They had post norton examination;
the roots of the tooth were found extend
ed down to the right side, through the
The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1860-05-16

Iris no advantage to nan to know
much, u.less he lives according to what
he knows; for knowledge has no other
end than goodness; aud he who is made
good is in poss ,ssion of a far richer treas
ure than he whose knowledge is:the most
extensive, and yet is destitute of goo4-
ness; for what the latter is seeking by bis
great requirements, the former aiready
possesses. -SwedenJorg.
The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1860-05-16

TRU1sMs-Every adjuration of love,
every oath of fondness, always contains
this mental reservation, SO long as you
are what you are now
True philosophy can discern nothing
else in great many words and names
but the letters of the alpabet which COM
pose them. @
Active and faithful memory doubles
life; for it brings man again upon its
stage with all those who have made their
exits. all ..4
The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1860-05-16
THE SUNSET LAND.

Oh dimly through the mists of years,
That loll their dreary waves between,
Tho gorgeous sunset land appears,
Arrayed in hues of fadeless green.
And from that far off sunny cline,
Old half forgotten songs arise.
And stealing DER the wave of Time,
The sweetly lingering music dies.
As some bright island of the sea.
Forever blooming-ever fair;
Though cold, dark pillows round it be,
Eternal sunshine hoveys there.
Thus DER the silent sea of years,
Our eager, longing looks are cast,
Where robed in fadeless spring appears
The sunlit Eden ofthe past.
There memory waves her garland green
Beside the lcne, hope-haunted shore
And musing mid the Arcanian scene,
Twines flowers that bloom for Us no more.
oh hallowed cline blest land of love
Sweet paradise of earthly dreams
OIL! tuIOaSu lily Ndic may idhCy Io'S,
Still bask beneath thy evening beams.
And there they dwell-those cherished
ones,
With snow-wh brows and waving hair !;
see them now--I her their tones
Of sweetness sigh along the air.
Hark how their silvory voices ring
In cadence with the winds low sigh;
And swetter than the wind-halps string
That wakes at eve its melody.
They Call US now they wave tteir hands
As by the mirage lifted high.
The cline in all its beauty stands
Against the forehead of the sky.
With wreathed brows-with laugh and
song,
With tender looks-hand clasped in hand,
They move along. that love-linked lhrong--
Within the haunted sunset land.
The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1860-05-16

JONES had been out to champagne
party, and returned home at late hour.
He had hardly got into the house when
the cock struck four. "One-one : one
-onep hiccupped Jones. 81 say, Mrs.
Jones, this clock is out of orior; it has
struck one four times" taaf q
The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1860-05-16

MEN are said to admire that which
they look up 10, and to love that which
they look down upon. " ~
The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1860-05-16

g ENJOY the glery of the sun, and not
put,out your eyes by trying to count the
spots upon his face. 49,
The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1860-05-16
10

AN infdel seeks to make proselytes on
the same principle which causes little
children to cry at night for "a bed fellow
he is afraid of being left alone 10 the
dark.
The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1860-05-16

There are a sort of men, whose visages
Do cream and mantle, like standing pond
And do wilful stiffness entertain,
With purpose to be dressed in an opinion
OF wisdom, gravity, profound conceit.
And sometimes they do obtain such a
garment as the, desire. l think that
this kind of people could not indeed do
.better--yerily, speaking would be their
undoing. This appearance, as If they
Lynchburg daily Virginian. [volume] (Lynchburg [Va.]) 1852-1861, 1860-04-19

wisdom and frmnsss, the candidate for this h,sh
place should commend hinsslf 10 The adoptioa 6
available for . probable election. Lookine shsrss
tore to these wsighty considerations, n visw Of
Q, these high requirements. We portion q ths
citizens on Virginia, present with peealiGf saaise.
ton TO the Of the psopls ofths Union,
the name Of the Hon. JOHN MINOR BOTTD, e
s,a.s.s fitting candidate for the ssidsasy Of The o.
II believed that IN spisoms Of hin public ss.ssna
sayings alone sna unadornsd, will form the best
exposition Of his htpsss for this sniusnt position
Mr.. Boris en.sred public life In the ysar 1883
as the delegate from the county Of Hsnrico 10 Tho
General Asssnbly Of Virginia. Ht vesy early
dobatsr, .. an original and iudspsndank ihiaksr,
and an ardent and incorporating Whie. he
may bc said to have leaped ct bound 70, 8 hlsh
position in body usually containinR .. eoodly
number OF able men. In the House Of Deleentss q
Virginia, Mr.. Bolts was distinguished, ~ b has
since been upon another theatre, for unwavsring
oxpediency. where It supplied the place Of . lees
explicit course Of proceeding. by Z manly bold
moss OF thought and action, which while Il must
be confessed, caused tho timid and rseusant 70
ienr for his discretion, ultimately triumphsd o~sr
doubts. and carried dismay Into the opposite
TN.:....' s sounu s,u anu ,acuca, v'ew: o. sns
~. n,s .'rs,c'e i'es"ston or ~ pser-
,n;ss ms .horoagn National, sentiment, aoeva ~:
'',s suaaen 1'so ano sucse:sai posinon % cne OF
cured for him the cordial dislike and undying op-
posn,on OF .ne pemocrsns party.
n.er Soveta1 years sefvaee IN tho sirginM Le-
ES,a.ur'; Ma. G no,M entered. Congress 10 Iosy.
as.as ,he N nIss SESSION No -. IN .ne House. sno
a,o"oano;S a"" view 'erssy heoslon rstgSn came on
uGi .n;i, oons,uera',on , Inc peopc OF New Sefsey
r,1s w ,ooWIsr M sas tnsy nave often sesuneal now
p.umP.'y ,. mr. no''s came ioiwsro' ana wltn wnas
sss"aa' ssa no,h'Y no vndicateo the majesty OF ner
o'oaa soa' anu sust@'noo sne nonor OF sovereign
State. During tho same session no made speech
on tho expenditures and abuses Of tho Federal
Government, July IA. l84O. IL will NOT have
poem forgotten that this happened when the ofRoe
Lynchburg daily Virginian. [volume] (Lynchburg [Va.]) 1852-1861, 1860-04-19
MISCELLANEOUS

8. G.. AL LEN,
BUILDER AND JOINER,
WOULD THE CITIZENS OF 1ySuupuEG
THAT HE Is NOW PREPARED
To do all kinds of Work In his line of Business
Jobbing and Repairing
SHORT NOTICE AND WITH plsrArou
Shop on Lynch st. next to Mr. Seth Woodrus residence.
Jan 20-dSm
GARRISON g. MAIGNE,
SHIPPING & COMMISSION MERCHANTS
Norfolk, Virginia.
l0ents /o' Sedbodrd 7ouing and Transportation Company
Particular attention given TO the purchase and sale Produce
may 2s-diy.
Abolitionists Killed in Lynchburg!
The way 10 kill the Northern fanatics Is to buy
s1N Carriages, Bugges and Wagons, at BAlLEl'S ls3
= Main Street, Lynclburg, and not send your money
Morrill, to enrich and enable the Abians make Sharpes
Rifles and Spears To send To negroes kill with
BAILEY born and raised in Campbell County, un
making, with increased facilities all the Carriages
Rokaways and Buggies, and substantial Also kinds
Of Harness Repairing and painting Carriages done with
neaincss and dispatch.
The subscriber returns his grateful past
and soiclts continuance oi the Al he
examination of his work, feeling confident he please
bo th 10 quality and price JNo. H. BAILEY, Ag't.
Jan 30-is l>3 Main St, linclhurg, Va
Lynchburg daily Virginian. [volume] (Lynchburg [Va.]) 1852-1861, 1860-04-19
lailg Siroiniaa.
Tho Cockney.

ny SAKE.
II was In my foreign travel,
At n famous Flemish Inn,
Tia, met n stontish person
with n very ruddy skin:
And his hair was something sandy.
Aud Nas dune IN kno,ty curls,
And VAS parted In the middle,
Ia the manner "f girrs.
lie was clad Ia chequercd trousers,
Aud his coat was Of n sort
To suggest scaniy pattern,
II WAS bobhcd So very short;
And his cap was yer, little,
Such ns soldiers ofi,n use;
Aud he wore II pair of CATERS,
And extremely heavy shoes
addressed the man In English,
Aud he answered In the sumo,
Though he spoke II In n f,shion
That thought little lame;
For tl,o aapira,c WIS missing
Where the letter should have been,
But whcrr'rr II wasn't wanted,
He was sure to put II in.
Nhcu spoke with admiration
OF 81. Peters migh,, dome,
He tod--"'1is really nothing
10 the Sights We 'a,e at 'omc."
Aud declared upon his honur,-
Though, OF course, 'tans very quser, -
That hr doubted II the Romans
'Ad the hart Of making bccrl
Then we talked of other countries,
tnd he taid that he had heard.
That Mmericans spoke Hnglish,
Eut h decnrd 1t quiiu hahsurd
Yet hc lrlt the deepest hinlcrcst
In the missinunry work,
And would like to know II Georgia
Was In Boston or New York.
When lelt The man in-gailcrs,
lie Was srumbling Ger hls gin,
At the charg,sur the hostess
Of that famous Flemish Inn.
And he i"okrd very Briton,
$50, mrthinks, see him stiil,)
As he pockeitd the candle
Thnt was mentioned In the bin
Lynchburg daily Virginian. [volume] (Lynchburg [Va.]) 1852-1861, 1860-04-19

Singers Sewing Machines.

REAT always the conclusive proof OF great
Judged by this there labor saving machine
before the public comparable 10 Singers Sewing Machines
Amer establishing the highest reputation in the United States
they were exhibited the Exposition Unyersee in
France where they carried off the highest prenum and
great mandatory them has been built In Paris
every branch Of industry In which sewing 10 he done
machines be used with immense profit As the speed
the Railway train travelling foot Is sewing with
Singers Machines compared with hand sewing No tailor,
dessmaker carriage trimmer saddlc halter &c,
&C. without The fair profit of using OF
these machines regularly employed is one Thousand Dollars
u YEAR private families where there Is much sowing
machines invaluable assistance. Planters
keepers find them particularly convenient and profit
able. machines simple in their construction and
strong durable, being the only kind of Sewing Ma
chine which every of work, fine
could perfectly executed Thousands of inferior and worth
ess Sewing Machines made and sold under various
names Singers Machines alone have been found
where to satisfy the wants of the people.
printed instructions for using sent with each
chine from any readily Mcguire the art of mama
gng hcm The machines packed securely to go To any
par of the world To all persons desiring particular in
formation, WILL application by letter nj either Of our OIL
ces forward copy of NJ Singer Co.'S Gazette, paper
wholly devoted to the Sewing Machine Interest ~
' |. NJ. SINGER Il Co,
Principal Office, NJ. 1923 broadway, New York
BRANCH OyFogs-No Al Hanover ST., Boston: No. ~ Gimp
e ST. New Haven c.; Goyer,le, N. W No. 27i Broad st,
Newark N III 1i2 Chestnut ST. Philadelphia; No. 1o5 Bal
timore ST. Baltimore No 32 Westminster St, Providence
L.; No. East ST., Cincinnati; No. 60 North 4ti a. 81
Louis: No. ST. Charles st. New Orleans No. 20 Dauphn ST.
Mobile dce 2+dScts