Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1860-08-09
NO. ls9.
MISCELLANEOUS READING.
FROM HOODS MEMORY.

Ills tendency to fun showed itself some
times in playing off harmless practical Jokes
on Mrs. Hood. One of them was yery 'Iud:-
crous. She was capital subject for his fun,
for she believed implicitly in whatever he
told her, however improbable, and though
seriously avowing every time not to be ia
ken in again, she was sure to be caught.
Her innocent face OF wonder and belief add
ed greatly to the zest of the Joke.
On one occasion soon after their marriage,
my father was suddenly seized with rheum-
attic fever Of severe kind. On his par
tial recovery he was ordered to Brighton to
recruit his strength. Sea air always produc-
ed beneficial effect upon his health and
for many years he was in the habit of visit
ing Brighton, or his favorite haunt, Has
tings, for few weeks.
At the time mention be was so weak as
to be obliged to be lifted into the coach at
starting but the next day, refreshed by the
first breath of the bracing air, he was al
most himself. At breakfast he offered to give
my mother a few hints on buying fish, ad-
ducing his own superior experience Of the
sea, as reason for informing her ignorance
as young housekeeper. "Aboye all things
Jane" said he, "as they will endeavor to inn
pose upon your mex perience let nothing in
duce You to buy a plaice that has any appear
ance of red or orange spots, as they are sure
signs OF an advanced stage ofdecomposition."
Ny mother promised faithful compliance in
the innocence of her heart, and accordingly
when the fish woman came to the door, she
descended to show off her newly acquired in
formation. As it happened, the woman had
very little except place, and these she turn
ed over and over, prasing their size and
freshness. But the obnoxious red spots on
every one of them still greeted my mothers
dissatisfied eyes. On her limiting doubt
Of their freshness, she was met by the asser-
ton that they were not long out of the wa
ter, having been caught that morning
This shocked my mothers doubts for mo-
ment but remembering my fathers portray
al of the Brighton fshwomen's iniqui.oIs
talsehoods, she gravely shook her head, and
knowledge, "My good woman, it may be as
you say, but | could not think of buying
any plaice with those very unpleasant red
spots" The woman's answer was per-
feet shout. Lord bless your eyes, mum!
who ever seed any without 'em?" -
A suppressed giggle on the stairs revealed
the perpetrator or the JOKE, ana my Iatner !
rushed off in perfect ecstacy Of laughter,
leaving my poor discounted mother to ap-
pease the angry sea nymph as she could.
This was standing joke for many years.
In the Christmas number of punch, for
this year (lS43) appeared the famous "Song
of the Shirt" 1t was of course inserted
anonymously, but it ran through the land
like wildtre. Paper after paper quoted it,
and it became the talk of the day. There
was no little speculation aS to its author, al
though several, believe Dickens among the
number, attributed at once to its right source.
At last my father wrote to one Of the daily
papers, and acknowledged it. lie was GER
tainly astonished, and little amused at its
wonderful popularity, although my mother
had said to him, when she was folding up
the packet ready for thepress. "Now mind.
Hood, mark my words, this will tell wonder
fully! 1t is one of the best things you ever
did !" This turned out a true prophecy. 1t
was translated into French and German, and
even, | believe, into Italian. My father
used often to laugh, and wonder howthey
rendered the peculiar burthen,
;toh cf;t,b