The weekly pioneer and Democrat. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. Territory) 1855-1865, 1860-06-15
Artemas Ward Hears Patti.

From the Cleveland Plaindeaer.
The Sage of Baldinsville favors US wit b
the following critical notice of PATHS con.
cert last evening:
The moosic which Ime most use to is the
inspirin stranes of the hand origin. 1 hire
a artistic Italyun to grind fur me, payin him
his vittles 6 close, & spose it was them
stranes which fust put moosical taste into
me. Like all furriners he has seen better
dase, havin formerly bin Kount. But he
amt of much akount now, except to turn
the origin and drink Beer, of which bevrige
he can hold churnfull easy.
Miss Patty is smawl fur her size, but as
the man sed abowt his wife, o Lord She
is well bilt & her complexshun is what mite
be called Broonetty. Her ise is dark
bay, the lashis being long & silky. When
she smiles the awjince feels like akin her to
doc it sum moor, & to continner doin in 2
indefnit extent. Her waste is l of the
most bootiful wastisis ever seen. When
Mister Strackhorse led her out thawt sum
pretty skool gal, who had jest GRADUATED
frum pantalets & wire hoops, was comm
out to read her fust compersshun in public
She cum so bashful like, with her he'd how'd
down, & made sich effort to arrange her
lips so thayd look pretty, that wantid to
swaller her. She reminded me of Susan
Skinner, who'd never kiss the boys at parn
bees till the candles was blow'd out. Miss
Patty sung suthin or ruther in furrin
tung. l don't know what the sentimunts
was. Fur awt know she may have bin
denouncin my wax fggers & sagashus wild
beests of Pray, & don't mutch keer eff she
did. When she opened her mowth army
of martingales, bobolinks, kanarys, swallers,
mockin birds, etsettery, bust 4th & flew all
over the Haul.
Go it, little l, sez to myself, in billy
existed frame of mind, & eff that kount or
royal duke which you'll be pretty apt to
marry of these dase don't do the fair thing
by ye, yu kin always hav hom on A.
Wards farm, near Baldinsvill, IDjianny.
When she sung Cumin threw the Rye, &
spoke of that Swayne she luvd herself indi-
vidooully, l didn't wish l was that air
Swayne. No CESS not. Oh certainly not
This is Ironicul. l don't meen this. It's
way hav of goaking Now that Maria
Picklebominy has got married which l
hope she likes it & left the perfeshun, Ade-
liny Patty is the champicness of the opery
ring. She karries the Belt. Thars no
draw fite abont it. Other primy donnys
may as we'll throw up the spupje first as
last. My eyes don't deceive my ear-site in
this matter.
But Miss Patty orter sing in the Inglish
tung. As she kin do so as we'll as she kin
in Italyun, why under the Son don't she do
it? What cents is thar in singn wurds no
body don't understan when wurds we do un.
derstan is jest as handy? Why peple will
versifferusly applawd furrin langwidge is
mystery. 1t remines me of a man onct
knew. He sed be knockt the bottum out of
his pork Barril, & the pork fell out, but the
Brine dident moove inch. 1t stade 10 the
Barril. He said this was Mistery, but it
wasn't misterior than is this thing line
speekin of.
AS fur Brignoly, Ferri and Junky, thay
air dowtless CRATE, but think sch able DO.
died men wood look better tillin the sile than
dressin themselves up in black close & white
kid gluvs & shOwtin in furrin tupg. Mis-
ter Junky is a noble lookin old man & orter
lead armies on to Battle instid of showtin in
furrin tung. ss, =.
Adoo. In the langwidge of Lewis Napo-
leon when receivin kumpany at his pallis on
the Bullybards, II saloot you." A. WARD.
MINNESOTA VALLEY.-The steamer Eoli.
L. l.