Mountain Democrat. [volume] (Placerville, El Dorado Co., Cal.) 1854-1860, 1860-02-04
A Nate Little Row.

Recently good, honcst-looking Trishman
was brought into Court on charge Of assault
and battery. The complainant was also an
lrishman, and the mate little row" they had
originated as follows!
Patrick went to Michacl's shanty just by
the La Cross depot, to borrow handsaw.-
Michael was out after a bag Of potatOcs-sO
Patrick concluded to wait until his return
and, for about hall an hour, enjoyed Il pleas
ant chat with Katy, MichaerS wife. When
Michael returned Patrick and Katy sat by
the cook stove, their feet on the hearth, at
Sociable as two ncighbors could be. Patrick
had his arm on the back Of katys chair,
which rUuSed feeling Of jealousy in the man.
ly bosom Of Michael, aud after setting down
his potatoes, he sang out
"Pat, ye dirthy devil, an what be ye after
now 2"
".Anhcr, is it? Sure an would like to
get yer handSaw to make bottom for trun-
mel bed, to put the children in"
AN why the devil didn't ycz take the saw
and make yer trunnel bed ="
"AiSy now, Mickey dear, an it wouldn't
look well for Inc to take off yer saw without
leaf, now would it, Mickey"
"Yc is right smart Paddy, now amt We
An for what sits We there like haythen Turk,
wild yer arm about Katy for? Is that the
way ye get Il ansaw, We dirthy blackguard -
"Arrah now, Mickey dear, sure an isn't
, that the same arm ! spraincd last fall liltin'
yer poor dead cousin, Tim O'Railerty. wild
when he fell from the mast to the dick of the
viSsil, like big logY An aint the arm till
this blessed day as lame us pper'S dog an'
would ye. refuse to let me put it in an aiSy,
comfortable place-jiSt on the back Of chair,
till could wait to ask yez for the 'ansaw, to
make trunncl.bed for the children wild,
Mickey DEAR
"To the dvil wild We, now. An weren't
We playin' ball wild that same arm all the yes
tcrdayy"
"Yis, Mickey, but that was the blessed
Sunday; an faith, but we two PLAYED nate
game, clanin' out like whrlwind, Teddy an
the rest Of the blackgIards."
$50 we did; but ye needn't come here to
make luv to my wife when I'm out for the prn.
ties. DO you think yc is an editor, to be tn.
king the freedom Of the press in that style!'
"Makin luv TO Katy, is it God rist her
purity eyes and what put that divil into ycr
head, MickeyI"
Her purity eyes, is it An have a great
will to give We the natcSt batcn We ivcr had
! for the same liberty yc took at them! Yc are
in luv wild her now, We piratical modoahn, nm
may niver have dip to light me through
purgatory but III give yc something to put in
yer trunncl.bed! Get up here till whale the
dirthy coat off YET"
".th, now, Mickey dear, don't make n foo
of yer sensible self An would be afthcr
maxim Inv to yer Katy, wild her red hair and
dirthy face; wild her big hand like turtles
mist, an her mouth loOkin' like II hole in n
/ ,lnY Il. 80
the divil to take me to be around her like O
waysel, stain the chicken NV yer heart from
yer own coop, when ye know have bettheI
lookin' wife ut homer Out wild yer nonsense
Mickey"
An is it Katy ye arc comparin' to nll the
lousy blackguards in yer own familyy Katy
who has for livin years been ms tirue to me
as the nadlc unto the mariners pOley Is il
calm her mouth hole in green apple, and
your cross-cyed, dirthy Bridget better lookin
than her?"
At this stage of the proceedings Patrick
jumped up to defend Bridgrts reputation,
jcrkcd off his coat, which had hardly touched
the floor before Michael and Katy had both
clinched him. For about three minutes things
were lively there. The cook stove got thrash
ed down, other articles misplaced the baby
pitched into the swil-pail and at last Patrick
was thrown out Of doors, with his pants torn
hair half out, his hat demolished, looking the
worse for the tuSsel, and compelled to go home
without his hand.saw. Each one of the party
were fined three dollars.
A Yankee was narrating some Of the sights
he had seen to crowd of astonshed Germans
when, among the rest, he said: " r.
"Why, when | was in Mexico under Scott
I saw a ball larger that this house."
This was too much even for the credulity oi
the Germans, and one Of them said:
"Dunder and blitzen! We're could dey get
de cannon to fire it Off"
Don't know" said the Yankee, "but still
saw IT,
"Vat kind Of ball wash iti"
"Why, ball given By the General at Mexi.
CO, to celebrate victory"
| &S&S-<
An artist has invented a paint that will give
a drunken man sober complexion.