The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1860-10-10
An Eccentric Doctor and Pa
tent.


versifed. In locating he has to find
ont the constitutions of those he is
called upon to visit, for it is frequent
ly the case that success may be owing
more to a deep and thorough knowl-
edge of the constitution than applica-
tions. AS an illustration of this we
will relate an anecdote of one of our
old physicians. who, if he finds physic
won't cnre, tries such other means as
case may require.
DR.. D had long been the at
tending physician Of a lady consider
ably past her teens, and affected with
certain disorders incident to q want
of occupation and the care of family.
She sends for the doctor, in season
and out of season he rushes at forty
two pace, and finds his patient physi-
cally, perfectly well, but sad and lone
ly. and Of course afflicted with the
blues. All that he can do is to admin
lister tincture with few drops Of
peppermint, and the patient is well
for day.
On one occasion-a cold blusterous
night-the doctor had just turned in,
wrapping himself snugly in his blan-
ket, with the hope of quiet sleep,
when loud rap aroused him.
Who is sick ?" inquired the ply
stefan.
+" Miss Sally Strickland, sir; she is
most dead /; expect she'll die before
you get there"
:" I'll be along" says the doctor,
exclaiming to himself, "that Miss
Sally I'll try to cure her this time. ),
The doctor plods along through
mud and mire, cold and rain studying
his application. When he arrives at
the dwelling of Miss Sally, he finds
her as usual, in rather a depressed
state of mind.
Doctor" she said feebly, 81 ex-
pect to die every moment; / am very
low can you do anything for me 2"
The doctor feels her pulse nothing
the matter-merely wanted company
The doctor becomes communicative.
Miss Sally, I was having terri
BILE dream when your servant awoke
me-"
What is it," she eagerly inquired
!" ] dreamed I was Dead" continued
the doctor, and descended into the
lower regions, where / met the Old
Scratch, who invited me into the do
minions. The inmates were engaged
in different occupations some playing
cards, others swindling their neigh
bors /; in fine, all the pursuits they fol-
lowed during life they continued there
When Satan got through showing me
round, he exclaimed to the four quar-
ters of his kingdom that they should
all go to bed, for, said he, Sally
Strickland viii be here directly and
there will be no sleep in my regions
for month ="
The doctors speedy departure was
increased to flight by the sight of a
broomstick hourishing actively in his
rear but the RENE dy was effectual.
A SPIRITUAL JoKE.-At q recent
trial OF liquor case, which occurred
not thon4aEd miles from Worcester
county, the witness on the stand was
under examination as to what he had
seensat the defendants domicile, which
he said he had visited a number of
times.
Did you ever see any spirits there,
or anything you regarded as spirits 2"
said the presiding justice.
Why, yes-I don't know but l
have" was the reply of the witness.
Do you know what kind of spir-
its?
Yes
How do you know p
] kinder smelt it.
Wei, now, said the judge, straight
ening himself for the conyicting ans
yer, which he supposed would be Civ
en- VIII ven pl ase tell me what
kind Of spirits it WASP
Spirits Of tltrpeatine,'
The explosion Of mirth that follow
Cd this answer fairly shook the court
room aud as as it subsidized, the Wit
MSS was discharged
u ~ 49,. w. rxr