Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1860-08-25
Fact, Fancy and Fun.
A moErner's relief: Onions.

IL very aSFiCuituIai WFIteT. Cow
per.
The Girls that are constant to the
Typos. Ems.
Sure to make YOU come up to the
scratch. The itch.
The disease that newspapers die
of. Want of circulation
The three ages of a Senator: Mile
age, Postage, and Patronage.
- Motto for the IIeenan Dinner:
None but the brave deserve the fore.
Why is the letter / like p calf's
tail? Because it is at the end Of veal.
Read not books alone, but men ;
and chiefly be careful to read thyselt.
What piece of carpentry becomes
a gem as soon as it is finished?
Agate.
The first day of June is the dav
on which both dogs and females take
na~zzlj'2g for the summer.
An old bachelor is a traveller on
hfe's railroad who has entierly failed
to make the proper connections.
The most direct method ofdetet-
MINING horse power-stand near and
tickle his hind legs with brier.
An irritable man is somewhat like
hedge hog rolled up the wrong wav,
and pierced by his own prickles
A girl is said to have arrived at
the years Of discretion when she refus-
es to eat onions or boiled cabbage.
Why is a beautiful lady's foot like
romantic tale of olden times? Be
cause it is most truly an interesting Ieq-
en0
Boys should be very careful how
they steer their life-barks if they would
arrive without shipwreck at the Isle Of
Man.
1t is he who has much and wants
more who is poor, and he who has lit
tie and, is Herewith content, who is
rich.
"A lady's dressing table is prota-
bly, called a toilet because it is there
that most of her toll is generally per-
formed.
"A Bachelor editor who has pret-
ty sister, recently wrote to another
bachelor equally Fortunate" "Please
eXchange.'
Sparkling the girls, like trading
horses; the best side is always out. and
both parties often get cheated in the
bargain.
Brown says that the estate of Mat
rlmony'' is slave State AS Brown
has termagant wife, he certainly ought
to know.
"A French sayant has fixed the
next delu9e for the year 1859. The
world by that time will be dirty enough
to need it.
The boy who learned to ride upon
a horse radish is now practicing on
saddle Of mutton. What an equestrian
be will be in time
The fall most liable to iniurc
mans brain is--to fall in love with q
handsome damsel, without the smallest
chance Of succeeding.
At a printers festival, recently
the following toast was offered: 'HWo-
only to the press in the
of news"
Miss Fatadling says the first time.
she locked arms with a young man.,
she felt like Hope leaning on her al
chor. Poetic young woman that.
TO make a lady stick out her fin
ger, put on the aforesaid digit a dia-
mond ring To make her stick ont
her eyes, show her q silk dress. To
make her stick out al over, give her q
,rinoline.
-Full vessels may bear MANY p
mock, many q stroke, and yet make
10 noise so Christians who are full Of
Christ, and full of the spirit, will bear
many blow, many stroke without
nurmuring.
"A contemporary describing a
lance at a country village in his neigh
said: ':The gorgeous strings
IF glass beads glistened on the heaving
9osoms Of the village bellies, like ru-
oles resting on the delicate surface of
warm apple dumpling.
-"Cleanliness is next to Godliness,"
appears to be the motto in Michigan. A
paper out thar" records the good luck
# citizen who, while bathing IN the
liver discovered, after an Industrious
scrub Of FIVE minutes, pair Of drawers
which he had lost two years before.