Pomeroy weekly telegraph. [volume] (Pomeroy, Meigs County, Ohio) 1860-1866, 1860-07-24
NUMBER 90
From the La salle Press
A Short Sermon to Douglas
Worshipers."
BY wHANGDooDLE.

And deroat men carried Stephen to hls
bartat place, and made great lamentations
orer him-Acts, VIII, 2.
My DEAR DOUGLAS BRETuRES:-I
intend to talk to you at this time about
the folly ard sinfulness of worshipine
man. The heather b6F down to images
OF wood and stone, and some worshipb
unclean beasts, while others bow in hum
BILE alteration even to kiss great toe.-
But we, of this generation, have been
guilty of the meanest idolatry of all in
worshiping little lump of corrupt feshi
called Stephen, now defunct. A few
weeks ago, when we ladened our vessels
with rum and whiskey, for our brethren
who were sent as missionaries to the port
of Charleston. in the foreign land Of
South Carolina, to preach the gospel Of
Dred Scott and Popular Sovereignty, ahidf
gave them gold and silver wherewith to
buy bread and meat, our departed friend
was full of promise, and high uplifted as
the god of Democracy, and all who woui'ld
fall down and worship him. should have
their reward. But alasl our brethren
have returned to us with nothing but
his unseemly carcass. "Deeout mel car. IL
RED Stephen to has burial place, and made
great lamentations orer him. -
And it came to pass, when our chief
priests and elders were gathered together
In convention at Charleston, that MANY
Of the heathens of that region would not
fall down and worship our golden calf.
And We said unto them that they were
wrong, that the golden calf would grant
them many indulgences, he would give
them Bourbon whiskey. apple jack and
red eye, as beverages, and had promised
nine hundred and ninety-nine thousand
foreign missions, postofices, 8nstom
houses, and to take five hundred5ld fas
! gies into his cabinet. But III tfYis
would not avail. Nary bowefof com com
passion would be moved within them,
and therefore our brethren returned unto
us. "And derom MEN carried iStepkeit to
has burial place, diad made great tanien-
tations ouer him."
And the disciples of Stephen spake
unto them, saying, that they did not care
whether niggers were voted upside down,
or down side up. But they were rebel
lious and declared that we must get the
niger out of the fence, and protect him
in the Territories, where there are no
fences; but VIC couldn't do it. We re-
ferred them to Freeport, where Stephen
spake of ''unfriendly legislation" but
they didn't care red for the police mag
istrate Of the Territories, but would pas
ture their niggers on Uncle Sans farm.
They wouldn't let us put fence Of unz
friendly legislation around them and be-
cause we wouldn't give the niggers pas
ture, they waxed with wrath, and
Stephen gave up the ghost. ".4nd de-
vout men carried Stephen to his burial, aid
made great lamentations orer him."
In vain our brethren pramised to erect
false bottomed platform to delude the
heather with tricks of ledgefduMaifi -
But they needed not our entreaties. Oh;
the ''irrepressible conflict It tsqtleszed
our poor little Stephen SO hard, that
goht nor influenza need trouble Hin no
more. They cast rocks upon him
The lions roared at him. Tie eagle
''quivered his tail at him in proud de.
fance.' Old Buck shook his horn at
him. The niger shook his wool ahd
laughed at him, because the Grail
Mauler'' received more votes from the
Suckers than he did And one hundred
and ffty-two and half brethren stood
by and saw him crushed out, and, be-
walled their empty pockets, and the Toss
of the good things promised them
"And derout n,cn carried Stephen to his
burial place, and made graet lanoeatatsio5ass
orer him."
And now, in conclusion, lily dear
Douglas brethren, I know it is hard for
US to believe that Stephen is snufed out.
We cannot realize it. But it is even SO.
We shall never behold his coat tail
dragging ON the ground any more. Its
beautiful folds have been wrapped around
his wounded seats of honor, and he has
been lain at rest. The !firrepressible
conflict has dealt him saaasher ON the
COB, and his voice will no longer charm
US with the beautiful song 6f popular
sovereignty. Therefore cease your
blubbering for Stephen. There is yet
hope of salvation for US. There is d
plank still left for us poor shipwrecked
sinners to cling to- Our brethren North
and South already stand upon it
Though the heathen have denounced il
as relic of barbarism, yet our elders i'll
the great council Of the nation say it is
a good one. We will all go to that land
Of blessed saints in Utah, where it is
fenced in, and shout for old Mrs Poly
Gammy There reposing on her bo-
som, we will bury all our sorrows for the
Immaculate Stephen, who was so shame
fully martyred at Charleston. Let him
rot in peace.
! Farewell, then, TO poor old Stephen,
The famous Charleston martyr;
For he lied so, we couldn't believe him,
And we won't go tumbling arter.
Thus, you see, I have quoted the
Dutch poet, and we will close with the
words of the text, s'And deroa men car
ris7 Stephen to his burial and made great
lamentations ouer him. Amen!
The choir will please sing that good
old SOCIOLOGY, of ''Possum up gum
tree" while a collection is being taken
up for the benefit of our late mission
aries to Charleston. .. ~
Interesting Discovery in Egypt.
An interesting discovery, IF which
further particulars will no doubt shortly