Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1860-09-27
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A-~4~~--SS-----~>~ = -.---S~~--------~----- -
'GooD evening, Miss Brown; very pleas
ant IL 1I a.
Very
Looks very much like storm
Very. 'Fih'EIN sHE VI
Are yon weIlthis evening 2fT. .rfr
Very tt6 Z Z: ttlt
Your latler's sick
Very 1ntIE r1
Your mother looks smart
Very ---- ,,.-,.-,-.,r -
'Pon my honor muttered Pluggins TO him.
self, al he left the above lady, shes the rer-
test Miss ever saw .ty
'Ahl how do you like my moustasb, NTH
Laura lisped a dandy to merry girl.
oh, very much! It looks like the fus on
the back Of a caterpillarp-
Bill Swilling was sent to jail for habitual
drunkenness. One Of his OH cronies was
asked, why don't you bail him out? Bale
him ont 7 he replied, why, man you could
not pump him out =
The following eptaph was left by Doctor
Dodge, Of Me-, with directions that it should
be inscribed on his tombstone. His relatives
did not put it there although they felt with
him that it was singnlarly appropriate:
Here lies Old Dodge, who do6ged all good;
He never lodged the evil,
He lodged his best but all he could,
He could not dodge the devil
man in stopping his paper wrote: 4
think foxes doant ort spent there mummy on
papers, my father never did and cvry boldly
sed he wos the smartest man in the koun-
tree, and had got the intellygentist family Of
bouys that ever dug taters.'
Probably why so little was written in Dark
Ages, was that people could not see to write.
-Waif Vi s.lf'-f
A young lady in the city says the reason
masculine gender, and she cannot withstand
his ardent glances. ...
Tom, what's monomany why, you
see, Dick, when poor woman steals it is
called larceny but when it's rich 'un, tho
jury says it's monomany, and can't help it
that's it, A s-ra
A lady well advanced in maidenhood, at
her marriage requested the choir to sing the
hymn commencing:
This is tho way long have sought,
And mourncd because found it not
my good woman,' said the evangelist, a.
he offered her tract, have you got the gos-
pei here?
No. sir, We havn't, replied the old drone,
but they've got it awfully down to New Or
leans .......- 5- .I.-.s
An editor In Iowa has become so hollow
from depending on the printing business for
bread, that he proposes to sell himself for q
stove pipe.
A man from the country, whose wife had
eloped and carried off the feather-Led, was in
Louisville In search Of them--not that he
cared anything about the wife, "but the
feathers" said he, are worth forty-eight cents
a pound. . .-... r........ - ...r
An irshman tells Of fight iu which there
was only one whole nose left In the crowd.
and that belonged to the tay-ketile'
Wedlock has been compared to bird-cages:
the birds without peck to get in; and thoso
within sometimes peck to get out
Patrick Maloncy, what do you say to tho
indictment-are you guilty or not guilty p
'Arrah ! mursha, yer worship, how can Toll
till hear the ividence p ls,'. .ta7..y
A western paper chronicling the lan,enta-
bio occurrence of staging attached to a
church being blown down, very feelingly
says: -e5 -zis % 81 10 ssf
we are happy to state that over twenty
persons were brought suddenly to the ground
safe and one man Mr.. Wilkin, got his neck
broke. Mr.. w. was an est;mible young man
aud the father of good many children, be-
sides large farm, we'll stocked lie was fa-
tally injured ,.r
An old clergyman--more distinguished for
his piety than the elegance of his oratorial
read aloud from his pulpit
hymn in which occurs this line
Life's like a shadow, how it flies
But pausing in the middle of the wore shad-
our to take breath, the venerable parson as
tonished his hearers by what seemed to read;
Life's like a shad Oh how 1t flies
II is much to be feared that tbe glass Of
fashion is the wne-glass.