The register., 1860-04-12
THE REGISTER.
A Tale of Temper.


least, I'm sure they triumphed over mine"
But Hoods Tale Of Temper" is worth forty
such g Trunphs." There is much in it that
comes home to the business and bosoms" Of
our male, us we'll as Of our feminine readers.-
Weextract it from the volume ofI1ood's "Whims
and Waits" just published by Derby Il jack
son, to which we have been indebted for some
an Indispensable supplement 10 any edition of
Hood now in circulation. Home Journal.
OF all cross breeds of human sinners,
The crabbcdest are those who dress our dinners;
Whether the ardent fires at which they roast
Aud broil and bake themselves like Smithfield
(martyrs,
Arc apt TO make them crtlsy. like toast,
Or drains, encouraged by SO hot a post;
However, cooks are generally Tartars;
And altogether might be safely clustered
In scientific catalogues
Under two names, like Dinmont's dogs,
Pepper and Mustard.
The case thus being very common,
1t followed. quite of course, when Mr. Jervis
Engaged clever culinary woman,
He took It mere Aantippe in bis service
In fact--her metal not TO burnish,
As vile shrcw as Shrewsbury could furnish
One who in temper, language, manners, looks,
In every respect
Might Just nave come direct
From him who is supposed to send us cooks.
The very day she came into her place,
She slapped the scullion's face;
The next, the honsemaid being rather pert,
Snatching the broom she treated her like dirt;'
The third quarrel with the groom sle hit on
Cyrus, the page had halfa-dozen knocks;
And John, the coachman, got box
He couldn't sit on.
Meanwhile, her strength 10 rally, [stealth,
Brandy, and rum, and shrub she drank by
Besides The cream Of some mysterious valley
That may, or may not, be the vale ofhealth:
At least, while credit lasted or her wealth.
For finding that her blows came only thicker
lnvectivcs and foul names but flew the quicker
The more she drank, the more inclined to bickcr,
The other servants one and all,
Took Bible oaths, whatever might befall,
Neither to lend her cash, nor fetch her liquor!
This caused, of course dreadful Schsm.
And what was worse, in spite Of all endcavor.
After fortnight of lea-totalsn,
The plague broke out more yirulent than ever!
The life she led her fellows down the stairs!
The life she led her betters in the paror!
No parrot ever gave herself such airs
No pug-log cynical was such snarler!
AT Atwoman, man, and child. she flew and snapped,
M hnnsahna t p % t'ttn so iierce anu tahcoro"s'
~ s,rear and sn;t Tit ,n"' rle. "ppeu'
M haar % rpian,a m.' 1",. a,a,a su lA.io"s'
No fretf"l noronmna o uoatm W ,pac na Iia,-
NJ uolva,;nfa pua f'' 'Dot0 sA"' = '"u e'"''co---
More full of spleen
In short, the woman was completely rabid!
The least offence of look or phrase,
The slightest verbal joke the mercst frolic,
Like snapdragou set her in blaze,
Her spirit was so alcoholic
And woe to him who felt her tongue!
IL burnt like caustic-like u neitlc-stung,
Her speech was scaldng, scorching, vitriolic!
And larded, not with bacon fat,
Or anything so mild as that,
Bnt curses so intensely diabolic,
SO brolling hot that he at whom she lrvclcd
Felt IN his very gizzard he was dcvillcd!
Ionmed and ynt fnnrcd i, tur, hor t,rrnIt rrnn III,
For wl,yy Ofol, lie nI;,a.,n,,;, l,ad, VA '''
Orrentilcs lonthsomn snit.fnl md norr;c;ors
StnIel lizards bottled snakes ,md ,,ick ,nI ,onI,
Potted tnrnnin,ns and nsns ,nai;cinns N'>'
And scornions cured by scirntitc modes
IIe Ind nnt anv croatnra hoir ca ,,;,;n,s,
.,,.5,1"- >' ~ '
The coachman had already given warning,