Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1860-04-21
Fact, Fancy and Fun.
Preserve Your character.

EuCt, r G1lc.S tAQQ FUN. =
Preserve your character.
Costly Embroidery: Our Texas
Border.
Motto for a Gymnast: Suffer and
be strong.
What burns to keep secret =
Sealingwax.
Austria $ lament: ssA-loan, a-loap,-
ah woe a-loan - .',..
Shakespeare Motto for Hen-ery:
Lay on Macduf"
Transported for life: The man
who marries happily. -.r-. -.-...
The Seeds of Rebellion in Massasf
chusetts: Lynn-seed. 49,. .....--
At what time Of day was .talaasa
created ? A little before Eve.
--Bacheloric xclamationi-A-yasi
Maidenly Exclamation-AN-aant
a seamstress is andasyorino TO
collect some thread f.aon4a sheet Of VA
ter.
May the sa'san who makes one
pound two ahys be said to double his
capital?
-When, women begin to count their
admirefs,, = isn't apt to take them long
to da5it..
The coat Of horse is the gift Of ma
tura. That Of an ass is often the work
ora tailor. r.. ~.
Why is Q horse in stable like a
tormented criminal? Because he is
tied to the rack. .. .......
Why is the Well of Jacob like p
Dutchman's Brewery? Because He
Brews drink there.
A hard Con: Why is this conun-
drum like ghost? Because every
body has to give it up.
As man drinks he generally grows
more reckless. In his case, the more
drams the fewer scrupies. @.N
1t is remarkable fact that no man
who takes and pays for newspaper
was ever bitten by mad dog. -
You who are travelling down the
hill of life, should be careful not to
drive too fast. Lock your wheels.
Chess Con: Why are I'll games
of chess Of equal duration ? Because
it takes just Jou'' nights to play every
game. -.s- . ..... -... ....-:
Paying proper tribute to the
MeWs-tinowiug olacking bottles from
your chamber window among colIec-
ton of cats.
The Modern Golden Fleoce: 4
prize which delegates to the Charles
ton Convention will be sure to find at
the hotels of that city.
There is a man in Grand Rapids
50 witty that his wife manufactures al
the butter that the family uses, from
Lhe cream Of his jokes.
-Chilo, one Of the seven sagcs be-.
Ing asked what was the hardest thing
in the world to be done, answered
ito use and employ time Well ...- g..
When Jef1ima went 10 school she
was asked why the noun bacneior was
singular? "BecauSe," she replied, 1t
is very singular they dou't get MARI
ed"
One OF the teeth Of biting frost
was recently picked up on the Wiscon,
sin River shore.
For all that it's morning 'nips" may
De keenly felt. "' .-
"A model return upon writ was
made by a Deputy Sheriff in
Morgan county, Ind. It was: :sSaryed
he within, but was fit with brickbats
oy the woman, SO couldn't sarve it."
Every fifth person in Great Bri-
ain is drunkard; one in every two
hundred and eighty is a prisoner: and
'ne in every. seven hundred inhabits a
unatic asylum. Of the two latter
classes the majority become SO through
lrink. .. a.@ e .lE
"A man lately made application for
insurance on building situated in q
Iiliage where there was no fire-engine.
lie was asked, "what are the facilities
n your village for extinguishing fres?:''
We'll it rains sometimes" he replied
With great simplicity. 1
-"Gentlemen of the jury" said an
Arkansas lawyer, s'would you set a rat
rap to catch bear ?-would You make
iools of yourselves by endeavoring to
spear a buffalo with knitting -needleo
No, gentlemen, am sure you would
lot. Then how can you be guilty of
he gross absurdity of finding my client
guilty Of man-slaugIlter for taking the