The Grand Haven news. [volume] (Grand Haven, Mich.) 1858-18??, 1860-08-15
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.
= A Misunderstanding the wrong

= "A kissing the wrong
woman.
- The wife's secret-her opinion of
her husband.
= The greatest virtue in sea captain
wreck .less-ness.
= Our powers owe much of their en-
ergy to our hopes.
= The sweetest of all planets-the
honey moon.
- A light fantastic tow-a steam-tug
towing sail boat.
= Zeal without knowledge is fire
without light.
- The best chaplain always makes the
shortest prayers.
- He is first rate collector who can,
upon all occasions, collect his wits.
- The world is sen, and life and
death arc its ebbing and flowing.
- How To become rich-be elected
President of bank, and rob the stock
holders.
- Minds of moderate caibrc ordinari-
ly condemn every thing beyond their
range.
- Slight circumstances gives us the
keenest insight into the secrets of charac-
ter.
- "John, did you ever bet on horse!"
&C. No, but I've seen my sister Bet on an
old mare"
-"My bark is wrecked" as the dog said
J when thrown overheard in the middle of
the Atlantic Ocean.
- Life is beautiful night, in which
not one star goes down, but another rises
to take its place.
= Sueing newspaper editor for libel
is about as sensible as to boil brickbat
10 get lamp oil out of it.
: = Honesty is unquestionably good
policy-but under some fiery trials an in
d surance policy is better.
: "What do you propose to take fo
!, your coldw "Oh, III sell it very cheap
| won't higgle about the price"
, = "Mr. Somerset, why don't you sc
Q married z"
! "Because l ain too modest to ask any
r young lady to turn Somerset"
-"I say, Pat, are you asleep?"
"Devil the sleep"
"Thcn be afthcr lendiu' me quarter.
: "Pm asleep, be jabers."
- An Arkansas paper says that thC
girls in that State grow six feet high
!, Prentice says they must be uncommonly
[" well cultivated.
- "Gentlemcn, my political grave i
/ DUG." This is said to have been Lin
= coins exclamation on hearing of the littl
IS Giants nomination.
" - You must persuade child to plac
d confidence 10 you, if you wish to form ri
IS open, upright character; you cannot ter
10 rify it into habits Of truth.
h "Gentlemen," said tavern-keepc
IL to his guests, at midnight, 81 don't know
S whether you have talked enough or not
u but as for myself am going to shut Hp.'
y ~ -"That's very singular, sir" said
, young lady to n gentleman who had JUS
. kissed her. "Oh, well, my dear Miss,
y will soon make it pluralW
70 - 1t is said that Chang and Eng, th
j Siamesc twins, differ in politics. Both ar
democrats, but Chang is now for Brecb
enridge and Eng for Douglas.
= First Boy-What does he do wit
q all them whskcrs"
- Second Boy" Why, when he's &C
lis enough of 'em of TO stuff his easy cha
I'd with"
Is, - An Irish pedagogue recently inform
= cd his pupils that the feminine gend'
N, should be applied 10 all ships and vcsse
en- aAoat, except mail steamers and memo
10 war.
- A friend at our elbow says there
q piece of road not two miles from he
y, =, so narrow that when two teams meet the
* have both to get over the fence before cit
bo er can pass.
at = They have new way of hatchr
to chickens in the West, by which sing
nd maternal hen is made to do the duty of
hundred They fill barrel with eg:
and place hen over the bung hole.
,rs - sick boy, dreadfully sick fro
tes chewing tobacco, lay on a store box
he Another boy sympathized with and chec
on on ed him, by saying "Grin and bear
H. Bill-wo've all got to come to it som
time.
- They have got new plan in or
= ration down east, for the demolition
Ids bed-bugs. 1t is done by steam. o
nd. wheel catches them by the nose-anot
he or draws their teeth--while neat lit
rvc piston-rod punches three grains of arseI
down their throats.
a = A man in stopping his paper recel
\ a ly wrote:
me 81 think folks doant ort TO spend tbs
mummy on papers, my fother newer, {
an evry boldly sed he wos thee smart'
r -. A 4 Al