davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1860-03-08
Death From a slight Cause.

The Trenton papers state that the wife
of Elisha Holmes, Holudel. Monmouth
county, New Jersey. scratched one of her
thumbs with pin few days since, and
died with lockjaw from the effects of it
10 less than two days. Many people dc
not know that heated spirits of turpen
tine. applied to wouads of any kind, af
ter the pain leaves them for other part.
of the body, will, in almost every in
stance. prevent such catastrophes as tha
just cbropicled. 1t is an old-time recipe
and worthy of trial.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1860-03-08
TERRIBLE CATASTROPHE -Foyty. nine

TERRIBLE CATASTROPHE FORTY. nine
Children Dr0l0Re4-Frou the Quincy
(lli) Herald We learn that most terrible
calamity, rivaling that OF the Pemberton
Mills, occurred on Tuesday last near the
town of Hardin, H., on the Illinois River,
and about twenty-five miles above Alton.
Fifty school children in attendance at q
University at that place went out upon
the Ice to play. The ice gave way, and,
with one exception, all were lost. Our
informant was unable to give further par
t'eulars, but be represents that the vii
lage was scene of universal mourning
almost every family in it having lost one
or more of its members.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1860-03-08

nE- Our friend and neighbor of the
Democrat, as it appears from his last
weeks issue, had arrived at the serious
conclusion that there was too great a
pressure of gas bearing on bis corporal
machinery for bis personal safety. and
accordingly be raised his safety valve and
gave bis readers very abrupt, jet en-
tirely harmless shock, by belchiug forth
bis superabuudsnt gas.
He shows us, and indeed tells US, that
he has been using bis favorite "cork-
screw" again (but he i, no minor) and
has evidently become considerably be-
fuddled with that which was corked up,
as is clesrly evidenced by bis very fool.
ishly pretending to know about things OF
which be certaily knows nothing.
Now, in asmuch as it is we'll known
to be folly in the extreme to attempt to ar,
que with, or have any thing to DO With q
person when in this delusion, i'm NJ agina-
~ ami ostentatious condition, we must be
excused from noticing his twaddle, and
will therefore 10y bin up for the present
and await the eliminating and ooziDg out
of the imhibed befuddling spirit, when
we will. in case his sanity returns. pay ell
due respect to our polite, kind, innocent,
harmless, Wronged, respected. veDerated,
pompus friend, and fellow contemporary.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1860-03-08
FOR THE JEFFERsoNIAN.

was not little surprised, on reading
an article in the Democrat of last week
in which the writer INDUCED 10 an unusual
quantity of bilingsgate upon the Hotels,
and Restaurants Of this borough, demon.
mating them Hell holes, &C." This
species of guerilla warfare upon our re-
spectable citizens, is certainly intolerable,
and no man having any respect for him-
self, to say nothing of the respect that be
has for bis neighbor, would indulge in it,
And above all, the idea that the Squire,
who has often psrtaken of their bounty in
the shape of the many luxuries which
they always keep on hand; (and perhaps
occasionally a little shin, beverage which
the Squire is passionately fond of, with
out even showing the size of his "weasel"
or the color of bis coin. As for the Saloon
keepers inducing "even minors" to WIS.,
it their saloons on Sunday, l can only say
that do not think there is single Sa.
loon keeper in this place who would stoop
to thing of that kind. But if any Of our
young men chanced to call at their sa-
looms oD Sunday for a dish OF ice cream,
or plate of oysters, the obliging charsc
ter of our Saloon keepers would certainly
preclude the possibility OF refusing them
aud why should they refuse! Are not
Saloon keepers as justi6able in feeding
the hungry on the Sabbath day as Hotel
keepers! Yet | would not say one word
to encourage minors or adults 10 visit Sa-
looms on the Sabbath day But one thing
| would say, that we should carefully
pluck the beam from our eyes, before We
attempt to discover a mote iD our neigh
bors And | would DOW ask the worthy :
Squire whether We canpo. in many cases
trace the bad habits and vices Of our chill
dren, as originating at our own domestic
fresides. The ''big belled bottle" that
rests on our shelf; which the parent is 30
ted to visit sundry times of a sabbath day,
and his frequent visits at the Hotels and
Saloons. and occasionally appearing in
their presence. laborinR under the effects
too much 80 be joyful" whether these,
iD many eases are not the causes of the
early vices of our children
Now with regard to our Saloons I would
venture to say that there is not town OF
Borough in this State with the same mum
ber of Saloons that we have, where such
perfect order is observed.
10 conclusion | would say that not
standing the inyectiyes heaped upon the
Saloon keepers By the worthy Squire,
and careful in,estig alton by the Court,
every Hotel keeper was hororably acquit
ed and only in one case was Saloon
keeper found criminally liable | hope
that in the future the worthy Squire will
keep his Brass coat and biue buttons" but
toned up, and not give vent. prematnrely,
to such invectiVes against his neigbbors,
for he must remember that be is certain
ly quarreling with parties from whom he
receives portion of bis own bread and
butter. CITIZEN.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1860-03-08
Wistar's Wild Cherry Balsam.

This Balsamio Compound has become
a home fixture. Let all who suffer, and
have in vain attempted to cure their
coughs, colds, bronchial or pulmonary
complaints, make use of this unequalled
remedy.
R9- There is 'ile counterfeit of this
Balsam, therefore be sure and buy only
that prepared by S. w. Fowle &Co Bos
ton, which has the written signature oi
|. BUTTS on the outside wrapper.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1860-03-08

The meeting then adjourned sine die.
We understand that but 40 Shares OF
the Capital Stock OF this Society. rem aims
to be sold. The prospect Of having Fair
next Fall is very cncouraging,snd we hope
that our friends and readers will speedily
absorb all the remaining unsold stock;
that it will be good investm ent does moi
admit of doubt. Walk up gentlemen.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1860-03-08

home with heavy hearts and ill-disguised
modification. Mr.. Witte himself, before
the Convention, declared that its prauDte
history was yet to be written. aud that
this was the last time he should appear
before the party for its consideration
We shall, without doubt, see what We
shall see, ia regard to this matter.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1860-03-08
Precocious.

The paper says, (and what the papers
say must be true. as everybody knows).
that child was born in Saudis6eld,
Mass, few weeks since, having q uesll
defined pair of whiskers stretching from
ear to ear. The child is now five weeks
old with aourishiug beard That boy
will never be asked to tarry until bis
beard shall have grown. A modern
Sampson no doubt.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1860-03-08
Public Roads and Public Rights.

The Supreme Court of Pennsylvania
has decided as follows: I'm highway
the right efpossage belongs to the public,
but the title to the soil, stones, wood and
grass thereon continues in the owner OF
the land" See Wharton's Digest vol. 9,
title Roads and Bridges.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1860-03-08
Brutal Homicide at Philadelphia.

PHILADELPHIA, Saturday, March 3,
A brutal homicide was committed here
this morning. John Parker, cartmap,
was beaten to death BY two young row.
dies at lumber yard. The attack was
unproyoked Parker was Prussian by
birth. The rowdies have not yet been
arrested.
PHILADELPHIA, March 4, 1860
Wm. b. Foster. Vice. President of the
Pennsylvania Railroad, died suddeDiy
this morning, aged 45.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1860-03-08
Druggad Whiskey,

4 lady in Concord Mass, was fatally
poisoned by portion of narcotized and
otherwise bedevilled whiskey, which shs
had taken to produce intoxication while
undergoing painful dental operation,
day or two since. She chose that means
of allayipg pain in preference to iOhaliDg
cbloroform OF ether, Of which she was a.
fraid, and swallowed about three gills Of
the stuff within an hour. For ten or
twelve hours she presented only the or
dinary symptoms of intozicatiop, except
that, for few minutes, sue appeared
like person in an apoplexy, but coon
recovered About an hour after drink
ing the whiskey she yomitad freely. with
out pain or unusual difficulty, and her
pulse and respiration were natural, but
sho never recovered from the effects of
the poi-oD. aud died within forty eight
hours after swallowing it.
So much for strychnine and prussic
acid whiskey.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1860-03-08

IL We will publish mex; week very
interesting biographical sketch of A. G.
Cartin. the Peoples worthy candidate for
GogeInor
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1860-03-08
Killed.

A1Ileu.
Samuel Yates of EastoD.
George Smith of Eastop.
Joseph Weaver Of EastoD.
Richard Holcomb of BeIvidere.
j. Shae6 Eneineer) of Easton.
George Shaef of Easton.
Edward Mcintyre (oo!ored) Of Eastou.
Stewart Beatty of Eazton.
Arthur Kessler of Easton.
William Sharp, jr, of Belvidere.
Wounded.
Eugene Troxsell of Easton. injured a.
bout the head and legs slightly.
Wm. Diehl of EastoD. slightly.
John Smith Of Belyidere badly; will
hardly recover.
Solomon Mcintyre (solored) of Eastop,
slightly.
Joseph Losey of Washington, N. j.,
slightly.
Val. ScSooley Of Easton, slightly.
Andrew Mcllick of BelVidere, slightly.
Wm. Parks of EastoD, arm broken.
Benjamin Youels of Ea,toD, leg bro
ken in two places, and otherwise injured.
Henry Medler OF Easton, slightly.
Richard Williams Of Easton slightly.
Robert Burrell Of Easton, slis billy.
Z. Beroaw Of Easton, leg broken.
An unknown man from Belgidere, bad
ly.
The scene on the shore, after the ex-
plosion, it ia altogether impossible to de-
scribe. Women, who were fearful that
their relations were on board, ran up and
down almost distracted, questioning al
most every one they met in regard to the
dreadful affair.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1860-03-08

Bk5-Not less than seven hundred per-
sons are said to be professionally sngag-
ed in sounterfsitipg money in the State
of Ohio alone.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1860-03-08

An editor up in North Carolina says
he is SO poor that when two dimes meets
in bis pocket be introduces them.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1860-03-08
Proceedings Of the Monroe County Agri.
cultural Society.

At a meeting held at the Court House
in the Borough of Stroudsburg, on Mon.
day. Feb. 9th, 1860.
Il. Il Depuy, Esq. President, called
the meeting to order punctually at o..
clock, P. NJ. There was large attend
once, snd more interest appeared to be
felt in the society than at any other period
OF its existence. The President aunoupced
that the business of the meeting was the
election of six Directors to serve for the
uuexpired terms of that nuu Der who had
resi- gned.
On motion, L. w. Brodhead and NJ
w. COolbsugb, we're appointed Tellers.
The Subscription Books to the Capital
Stock we're also opened, aud William s.
Rees was appointed Clerk to attend tc
the sales.
The ballOting was then proceeded with
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1860-03-08
STEAMBOAT EXPLOSION,
Easton, Pa. March 8,

This morning the shores of the Della.
ware river below the bridge here were
crowded with persons to witness the AL.
fred Thomas, little steamer which ha,
been built at this place to run between
Belvidero and Port Jervis.
At ii o'clock the steamer started. and
made her way up the river against swift
current, having on board about ban.
dred men. At the bridge she stopped.
when nun Der got off, leaving about fof.
ty persons on board. The steamer then
continued her trip up the river; and ar.
riviDg at the Falls, short distance above
the bridge, she was moored for short
time. When all was ready to start again,
the boiler exploded with terrible crash.
the pieces flying in every direction, aud
the boat becoming in an niDstant complete
wreck.
Some Of the passengers were thrown
fifty feet into the air, others were blown
off into tho water and slightly injured,
and others were dreadfulIy maDgled.-
The sight upon the land was truly heart
rendiDg The torn limbs of the poor
sufferers, and the presence OF those who
we're in search of friends. supposed to be
among the dead, formed sight to make
the stoutest heart feel sad. The physi-
clans of the thorough hastened to the as
sistance of the sufferers. and did sll in
their power to alleviate their suHerings.
The following is a lit of the killed and
wounded, which is believed to te full aud
correct:
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1860-03-08

Whiskey sometimes cures the bite o
snakes, but what will cure the bite o
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1860-03-08

Two O'Clock had now arrived, and as
Court was ready to commence it's session.
the meeting adjourned to meet in the Com
nissioners Office, for the purpose of allow.
ing the newly elected directors to draw
lots to decide as to the length Of time
each should serve.
On referring to the Books, it was found
that one OF the directors was to serve for
one year. two for two years and three for
three years.
On coming together 10 the Commission.
ers Office, it was found that Wn. S. Win.
temute, and Wm. S. Rees were absent
and it vas agreed that M. w. Coolbsugb
should act for Wm. s. Wiptemute, and
that A. r. jackson, shoald act for WIN
S. Rees.
Sixpieces Of paper we're then written up
on as follows, viz: on one was written "One
year. on two was written 1.-TWO years,
and on each of the remaining three was
written "Tbree years" These were then
placed in bat and being we'll mixed By
the President. the drawing was then pro-
eeeded With, and With the following re-
suit. Upon inspecting the papers, 1t was
found that
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1860-01-12

A NEW SECRET SoolETY.-In addressing
the Chair, every member must thrust both
thumbs behind his ears, and wave the hands
back and forth, to signify his afflation with
the donkey tribe. And on going into the
ante-room of a lodge, three scratches aud
knock are given upon the outside. The
person without says Lot's;' the keeper
within answers wife Both exclaim Lots
wife, and the door opens. At the second
door, the scratches being given, the persons
without, say Jack, the one inside defines
the animal, and both exclaim sJackass,' and
the door also opens. These passwords will
admit to any lodge of the Sons of Malta in
the United States. At the close of the meet
ings Cuban flag is most generally exhibit
ed, with initials upon it curiously formed
SO that they may be taken to represent either
Il. o. of S. NJ or Il am sold, which lat
ter is the reading most generally adopted
by the new beginners. The r.. W. j. A.
who bears 60 prominent part in the process
sions, is the Right Worthy. Jack ASS at
the meetings.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1860-01-12
CAUGHT IN HIS OWN TRAP.

Once two ministers of the gospel were
conversing on extemporaneous preaching
"Well," said the old divine, waxing
warm 'you are running yourself by writing
your sermons, and reading them off. Your
congregation cannot become interested in
your preaching; and if you were called up.
on to preach unexpectedly, unless you
could get hold of an old sermon you would
be completely confused"
The young divine used all his eloquence,
but in vain, to convince the old gentleman
that the written sermon expressed his own
thoughts and feelings, and if called upon,
he could preach extemporaneously.
GAS we are of the same faith" said the
young minister, suppose you try me next
Sabbath morning. On ascending the pull
pit you can hand me text from any part
of the Bible, and I will convince you that
can preach without having looked at the
text before I stood up. Likewise, I must
be allowed the same privilege witt you, and
see who will make the best of it"
The idea seemed to delight the old gen.
tleman, and it was Immediately agreed up
on.
The following Sabbath, on mounting the
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1860-01-12

pulpit, his senior brother handed him a,
slip of paper, on which was\written "And
the ass opened his mouth andspake;" from
which he preached glorious sermon, chain
ing the attention of his delighted hearers,
and charming his old friend with his elo-
quence.
In the afternoon, the young brother, who
was sitting below the pulpit, handed his
slip. After rising and opening the Bible,
the old man looked sadly around-"Am I
not thine ass ?" Pausing few minutes, he
ran his fingers through his hair, straighten-
ed his collar, blew his nose like the last
trumpet, and read aloud-"Am I not thine
ass ?" Another pause, in which deadly
silence reigned. After. reading the third
time-"Am !. not thine ass ?"-he looked
over the pulpit at his friend, and in dole
full voice, said-"I think I am, Brother" /"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1860-01-12
PROFESSION AND PRACTICE.

Two kinds OF witnesses are often enc0un-
tered in courts of justice-the unwilling
witness, and the too willing witness. Here
is one who doesn't seem to come under
either category. The prosecuting attorney
thus addresses him:
"Mr. Parks, state, if you please, whether
the defendant, to your knowledge, has ever
followed any profession
"He has been professor ever since I
have known him"
"Ah a professor Of what ?"
GA professor of religion"
"You don't understand me, Mr.. Parks.
What does he do ?"
Swell, generally what he pleases."
"Tell the jury, Mr.. Parks, what the de-
fendant follows"
-"Gentleman of the jury, the defendant
follows the crowd, when they go to drink. !"
"Mr. Parks, this kind of prevarication
will not do here. Now, state sir, how the
defendant supports himself?" .r
ri saw him last night supporting himself
against lamp post"
"May it please your Honor, this witness
shows an evident disposition to trihe with
this honorable Court" ss~-
The Court-Mr. Parks, state, if you know
anything about it, what the defendants oc-
cupation is. The Court, let me say, has no
idea that you mean to be disengenuous.."
"Occupation, did you say sir ?"
"Occupation," answered the judge.
eyes," echoed the counsel. "Wbat was
his occupation ?" .r.
IF am not mistaken, he occupies gar
ret somewhere in town." ..
That's all, Mr. Parks. understand you
to say that the defendant is a professor Of
49,
"He is"
"Does his practice correspond with his
profession g..
~ never heard of any correspondence, or
letters of any kind"
"You said something about his propen-
sity for drinking. Does he drink hard 2"
"No sir I think he drinks as easy as any
man Lever saw" q
."One more question, Mr.. Parks. You
have known defendant long time; what
are his habits {? loose or otberwise?"
"The one he has on now, thing, is rath-
er tight under the arms it is certainly too
short wasted for the fashion"
"You can take your seat, Mr.. Parks"
Exchange Paper.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1860-01-12
Ynnrorpus 8eaomg,
A Jersey LICENSE.

In that benighted territory which has
been accidentally, by some earthquake,
thrown up and afix'd to the United States,
there used to be law which required those
about perpetrating the awful crime of mat
rimony to procure license and pay for it.
p, In one of the villages of the territory an
eccentric genius, still living and reigning,
offciated as county clerk. The village was
quite secluded in the sand plains and the
Squire pastured his COWS on the broad acres
around, bringing them home at night and
letting them 60 to grass and sand in the
morning. He kept a bell on one of them
to help finding them, but one morning as
he was letting them loose, he perceived that
the clapper of the bell was lost Being un-
able to find it, he made a substitute by
making fast his Office key Not till be had
reached his Office did it occur to him that
he should want the key, but now finding
himself locked out, he betook himself to
other matters, proposing to recover the key
at night. About noon rough and ready
Jersyman, in full dress, came riding into
town, inquired for the clerk, scared him up
and asked for a marriage license.
Sorry can't accommodate you to-day, but
it amt no 60.
why not? I am going to be spliced to-
night and must have it whether or no.
But the fact is,' said the clerk, 'my
Office is locked up, and my COW has gone
away with the key!
So the old fellow told the whole story,
and the two set off for sandy plains to find
the cow and get the key. But the more
they looked, the less they found, and finally
had to give itup. A bright thought struck
the clerk of the county.
1'll fix you ont said be, and young Jer-
sey jumped rod, so tickled was he to know
that he was to be fixed out of the fix he
was in. They proceeded to store close
by the Office, and there the county scribe
indicted the following autograph:
Territory of New jersey, IS:
To all that may see these, greeting:
Whereas, I, the undersigned, clerk Of
this county, having this morning untho'ted-
ly tied my Office key as clapper into my
cows bell; and whereas the said cow has
gone astray to parts unknown, bearing with
her the said key, and therefore the said
key is non est inventus-that is, cant be
had; and whereas, one Abner Barns has
made application to me for marrige license,
and that said Abner insists that he cannot
wait until the cow comes home with the
key, but is compelled by the violence of his
feelings and the arrangements already made
to get married: Therefore, these presents
are to command any person legally autbori.
zed, to celebrate the rites of matrimony, to
join the said Abner Barns to Rebecca Dow,
and for doing so, this shall be your sufficient
authority. -
Given under my hand and private seal,
on the door step of my oAice-the seal Of
my Office being locked up and my COW hav.
ing gone of with the key-this fourth day
of October, A. D. l8-.
JOHN OSBORNE, Clerk.