The independent press. (Abbeville C.H., S.C.) 1853-1860, 1860-03-23
EXCERPTS.

owe.)
Ono ought to have dates at ones finger
eods, seeing ther grow upon the palm.
One hundred yards of the raw silk Of tho
sIkworm docs not weigh grain.
love these still,' as the quiet husband
said to the cliattering wife.
Did the horsemen who secured the plain
use soaps
Why is tlic world like piano BE
cause it is ful! Of sbarps and flats.
No dust affects the eyes like gold dust
atll go glasses like brandy glasses.
Why are shepherds and fisherman like
beggars because they live by 1sok or.by
crook. u
An artificial florist lately described him
self rs iced gardener to the ladies'
The reflection Of the sun S rays in mir
ror las been distinguished at dis tance
tweIyyee'm'les.
a FUNDAMENTAL TRrrH.--Thc husband
who does aet prefer his own friends to any
other spot on cath, has 10 place to be hap
py in.
Men Of genius are often dull and inert
in society, as the blazing mvteo. when it
descends to eartI, is only stone.
It is easy to exclude the noontide light
ty closing the oyes, and it is easy to resist
the clearest truth by hardening the heart.
What is the difference between one who
walks and one who looks up flight of
stairs ?-5ne steps up stairs ss.d other stares
up steps.
We ewcre considerably amu>ed by an &C
count that we lately saw Of remarkable
duel. There were six men upon the ground
aud six misses.
If the Mexicans want to learn the secret
Of stuble government, perhaps they had b,
ter send for Mr.. Rarey.
An eminent artist Of the city is about
getting npa panorama Of lawsuit 1t
opens i'll the year one, and closes with
doomsday.
Why should potatoes grow better than
any other vegetable !-Because they have
eyes to see What they are doing.
Tommy, my son, what is longitude -
"A clotbes.line, papa.-'l''ove it, my son..
-'Bccause it stretches from polo to pole
T'lereason Wig whales frequent the Arc
tic seas is, probably, because they supply
the northern lights with oil.
A young gentleman Of our Acquaintance
Gays lie thinks that young ladies who refuse
good offers of marriage are too 'no.ng by
half.'
With the assistance Of microscope, a
grain Of gold may be seen di:idvd into fl.
ty millions Of distinct parts.
ADVICE TO BACmELoRs.-Eatc cold pud-
ding to settle your love: but don't jo any
thing which will induce you 10 settle your
anoney.-Punch. -.4sA
When may man be said TO bc literally
immersed in business ?-When he's giving
swimming lessons.
There is a man at Tones who walks so
slow that they say he wears pair of spurs
to keep his shadow from sreading on his
heels.
'Ma,h you will give mo an apple, will
be good.'-'No, my child, you must not be
good for p"y-you ought to be good for
nothing.
siSGULAR MARRIAGE.-The man who
welded an opinion found himself marris j
to one'eyed dear, Zone idea:)
The easiest and best way to expand the
thestsis to have good, large hear, in it !:
kaares the cost Of gymnastics.
A business man OF our acquaintance is
50 scrupulotsly exact in all his doing., III. I
when ever he pays a visit, he always will
insist ppon taking receipt.
Ayouhg lady, few evenings since, said
to,ber cavalier. Please clasp my cloakr p
Certainly said he, clasping his arms aroune
hev Soud tho contapfa foos
The records oflfe run thus Man creep
into childhood-bounds into youth-sober
into naanbood-softens into sge-totter
into second childhood, and slumbers int
The crsdls'ptepared for BIN.
A good.lookiug young la6y recently en-
tered adyers shop and thus accosted him
.-sYo,,. Are the man that dyes. are Won moi