Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1860-03-03
Apples.
A NEGRO LECTURE.

sass, apple IllIeIs, apple Plee' oPP'"
dumplinS an apple todGies, will hardly be
able 10 compresland de apple-caiion ob my
'lecture,-to dem | leab de peelngs, an
directs de seeds Of my discourse 10 such
as hab souls above apple dumPlns an a
taste above apple larts.
Now de apple, according TO Linn9us'
the phea- am fruit originally ex-
ported from Adams apple orchard in De
garden of Eden, ali made in, iggeneou in
ebery climate cept de norf pole an It's
neighboring territory de Rolly bolly alias
De apple, according TO dose renowned
jluxumcomgraphers, Samuel Johnson, Dan
Iigl Webster, Jmuel Walker an Doctor
Skeleton Mckensie, am de py-rns molus,
which means "To be moulded into pies.
Well, you all know dal de apple tree
was de sacred vegetable ob de garden ob
Eden, till de sly an inslnuvalln sea-ser-
pent crawled ont Oh de river on Friday
mornirg, bit off an apple made "apple-
Jack, ;" an handed de jug to Eve; she took
sip, den handed it to Adam-Adam took
another, by which bofe got topseyca,ed
an fell down de hill ob Paradise, an in
conse Quence darcof, de whole woman
race and human race fell down casmash,
like speckled apples from tree in tor
nado. Oh hat a fall ives dar,my heaT-
ers, when yu an all drap down togedder,
an de serpent tapped his foTked tongue in
! latissaclion.
Blu, arer all, my hearers, dat terrible
fall was not de fault oh de fruit ob de aP-
pie, but de abuse ob it; for de apple am
very great vegetable, corden as we use ii
or abuse 1t. De apple has been de fruit
ob grea, tlngs, an great rings hab been de
frui, oh de apple. 1t was de apple dat
fust suggested to Sir Humphrey Gravy
Newton Ge seeds Of de law oh graduation,
DAT wonderful, invisible, an uniElzable
pa,ten leber principle by which all dem
luminous an voluminous planets turn
round togedder, all apart in on E pluribus
etaet,n ob grabiy, hence de great poet
Longfeller, in de fifty 'leventh canto verse
after de last in de fore par! ob de book OBJ
Lord Byron observers,-
"Man fell by apples, an by apples rose"
Sir Humphrey Gravy Newton was one
day snoozen fast asleep wide awake nn-
der an apple tree, when a large sized
Kentucky pippin graduated from de limb,
struck him in de eye, an all at once his
eve was suddenly opened to de universal
law OF graduation.
He saw de apple downwards fell,
He thought, why not fall up as well, !"
(, proved some teIegraphic spell,
Pulled il earthwise.
wish he'd now come back an tell
Why apples rise,
so high TO half peck in de bushel.
But my hears, 10 come 10 Je grand
point OBJ my learned disquisition on ap-
pies. Reasoning ap-Provi, | proceed to
dis grand fremologco physiological phre-
pomenon. da, ever since our great-greal-
grandfather Adam (ust tasted apple jack
lin de orchard ob Eden, de entire human
race, an woman race in particular, has
been impregnaed with the spirit of de
apple, an de rest ob mankind, may be
compared to some genus OBJ de apple.
Oars de Philanthropist, he's good mel
Ter pippin-always ripe and full ob de
seeds ob human kindness. Oars de Mi
ser, he's de .grndsione apple-rock 10 de
very core Oars de Bachelor, he am
rusty coat,an' like bee!slakc widoul gra'
vv-dry to de very heart. Oars de dan
dy, he's long stem. all peeling. Oars
de farmer he's de cart horse apple-a iiI-
lie rough on de peelen, but juicy vic tee'
len. De Fashionable gent am French
pippen, an de fashionable young lady am
de Belfour-an' when two sich apples
am ioined ioeedder, dev become a pear,
(pair.) De polly ricion am SPeckled ap'
ple-iiie foul sometimes at de core. DE
Young Misses am de maden's Bushes.
DE Widder she am pine-spple-pineen
an sproutin in de dark leaves, to blossom
once more. De good Wife she am de
Balsam apple of human life. an In fms
de-de old Maid she am (bilterly,) crab
apple-a fruit never known in de apple
orchard of Paradise, an only fit for Sour
lanG-put her in de cider press oil human
affection, an she'll come out forty IeVen'h
proof vinegar, enough to sour all human
creation-eyen as the loud thunder 90 de
hebens sour de Juice in de milk house
Lastly. and TO conclude, Brethefn an
Sis,ern. let it be our grea, aim, howsom-
ever we NAV differ in our various aPpie'
species, 10 strive TO GO in de great c'oer
press cf human Trial without sPeck III ue
core or de peelen so ds, when de eJ"silce ol
our mortal virtues am squeezed out, dc an
gels when day fmst put dar lips 10 de cider
through may exclaim wild de poet,
"a little more cider TOO.
uNow. do take this medicine. wife. and