davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1860-08-25

An Irshman fights before he reasons
a Scolchman reasons before he fights
y Yankee is not parllcular-wiil do either
10 suit his customers.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1860-08-25

An elderly gentleman travelling in
stage coach was amused by constant
fire of words kept up between two Isdes.
One at last kindly inquired if the con'er-
sauon did no, make his headache, 10 which
he replied, No, ma'am, have been mar
ried twenty eight wears.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1860-08-25

"IIe who goes TO bed in anger has tho
devil for bed fellow" A wag desires
us to say that he knowsa married man
who, though lie goes 10 bed meek and
gentle as a lamb, is in the same predicu-
mCnl.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1860-08-25
UT 2@3 &U808,

There is man on Long Island SD
short.sigbied that he can't see 10 sleep
without specs.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1860-08-25

1t is strange how rullie shirt makes
boy grow. Master Stubbs mounted one
the other day, and what was the conse-
quences In less than a week ne was
TOO big 90 eat with steel fork.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1860-08-25

May AND OEcENBER.-Amongth the Gu
riosilies discovered by the censs ,sker.
is a pretty little girl Of fifteen, 10 the
southern part Of Monson, Mass, Who az
husband flIy-seven years Of age.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1860-08-25

A New York paper says that gentle
man is going SoNIh TO open Jewelry cs-
lablshmcnl with no other capital than a
cow bar.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1860-08-25

The meanest man in the world lives m
West Troy. In helping hIm out OF the
river once, man tone the cofiar OF his
coat. The next day he sued him for as
sauli and battery.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1860-08-25

A restaurant in San francisco does such
a rushing business that it employs an
horse engine tn squeeze Ihe lemons.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1860-08-25

A military officer wanting TO cross a
field with his company, came TO an open
ing in the fence only large enough 10 al.
10" two persons 10 pass through abreast.
Unfortunately be was deficient in militia.
ry tactics, and couIin't remember the or
der which would accomplish The difficult
task of filing through, but his ingenuity
did not desert him, and ordering halt,
he said, "Genllemen. you are dismissed
for one minute, when you will fall IN OH
the other side Ol the fence"
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1860-08-25

What's horrible creature A bachelor
says he dlslIkcs young married couples
because they are SO apt 10 give themselves
heirs
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1860-08-25

All old bachelor having been laughed at
by party Of pretty girls told them-'lou
are small polarocs = I'VE may be small
potatoes, said one Of them, but we arc
street ones y
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1860-08-25

They have q girl in California who -
only sixteen years OF age, and weighs AS
pounds, and 10 increasing in flesh at tho
rate Of three pounds 10 the week. Ii will
take three hugs 10 60 clear round her.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1860-08-25

What is that which is absolutely neccs-
sary we should have at our dinner. and
yet neither be cooked nor served up
4 swallow.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1860-08-25

An Irshman being asked in Court for
his certificate of marriage, showed big
scar ON his head about the size OF SHOW
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1860-08-25

Cor ASoTnrR ONE.-Mat Root, of
PaInsviIle is taking lhe census OF Lake
County. The other day he received
call rom an old farmer at whose house
he had called few days before io one Of
the towns he had caDvasscd. The lar-
mer lumbled swk kwardIy With his ha, add
didn't seem to know exactly how To get
at his business. Mat inquired after the
health OF his sixteen children all under
seventeen years Of age, whose names ho
remembered 10 have taken, spoke about
the weather, &c, but the honest old far.
mer seemed 10 grow more embarrassed.
At length the visitor bIurled out My old
woman sent me down here TO tell you TO
come and take the census over sgan-
shes got another one r'-CieutIand
Democrat.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1860-08-25

Old Rowe kept hotel ~ The northern
part Of York STATE, which hc bnasl,d wss
The best il. llose paris where. as ho
used TO say. you could get any lhing lhai
was ever made TO eai. One day ia cano
a Yankee he sent his horse round TO tho
stable, and stepped up to the bar, asked
old Rowe what he could give him for din.
ner.
Anything, sir says old Rowe ANY.
thing from pckled elephant 10 a canary
birds tongue
WAL says the Yankee, eyeing
Rove. j guess Ill take piece Of picked
elephant.
Out buslles old Rowe into the dining.
room, leaving our Yankee friend nonplus-
sed al his gravity. Presently lie comes
back again
We'll, we've GOT 'em got 'tm al rea.
dy, tight here III the house bot you'll
have 20 take whole one. we never Gu.
EN-.
Tie Yankee thought lie would take
some goldfish and potatoes.
say, Harry, did You ask Hicks for
that money!
Yes. Ell. ~
What did he say a3df
Why. he kicked me off the stooo---
that's what he said.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1860-08-25

SHoheH ouly dS JGs''
1t is man who makes the most noise
that secures the attention Of the world. A
silent elephant may remain unobserved
amid the foliage Of the wood, but cFoak-
ING bull frog will be sure to attract atien-
ZION in the darkest night.
Children whom grandmothers doat up
on, and have nesting in their bosoms al
nighr, are invariably pale and siekly in
their appearance, and, when attacked by
the illness TO which children are subject,
rarely recover. Mistaken and peTnicIous
Kindness destroys them slowly.
New Orleans daily crescent., 1860-01-21
STREETS AND LANDINGS.
Mr.. Huyght offered the following report, which

was read and auopted:
The Committee of Streets Landings the
port upon the following subjects referred hem Wiz
Upon the communication of The Comptroller Dec q,
relative andea,inns made ngreeaby resolution
your committee report follows, viz:
For paying with blocks New IsSee from Poy
Race John Coleman Co-secpritieS Denis
Cfonan and Pat, Ifwin-at the following prices, viz
81 per superficial yard for The sqiafa paving.
10 cens superficial foot for the eubstones.
20 cents per running foot for the old cnfbstenes.
81 per superficial fool Of crossing stones.
SS 30 per rFnning foot Of new fagstenes.
u per running foot of old faggt r.
SIX per iron blidge.tops each complete.
Your committee recommend the of The aforementioned
adjudication and acceptance Of the securities a resolution
accordingly presented for adopo authorizing The Mayor
enter into contract with the parties noaTiai for M
forrnance Of said work
I'd committee approval adindicR
and acceptance Of the security for
brick horiered by enrbtones and wooden
both sides oil ufanhar street, from Eysian Fields Cotton
Press street to r Borgeseeury Val s. Ceranat g 20
running foot resolution is peHened in accordance with
foregoing authorizing Mayor contract with he
the parties n0taa act for the performance Of said
New Orleans daily crescent., 1860-01-21

DIR. DAVIS

ooApouRD sIRuP OF W1LD CHERRY AND TAR.
Gnder lis influence the dangerous cough removed spit
ling of blood is prevented breathing rendered soft and
easy and the unfortunate sufferer Is restored from the
awful condition of Consumption healthy comfortable
existence.
For sale in New Orleans wholesale and Retail by
j; WRIGHT & CO.,
Il and Isl ChGrtres street,
Sole agents for the Sonlh
New Orleans daily crescent., 1860-01-21
THE CHIEF AMONG TEN THOUSAND.

DAELEY's MAGICAL PAIN EXTRACTOR
Has universally upplaned oinrneu and healing an
pcaions in both the Eastern Hemperes wher
introduced na its intrinsic merit Is the j
in ali entaneoss Affections whether the acc
dent or disease.
Burns and ScaIds 4 5=
Are Instantly relieved of their anguish pain inflammation
by timely application this heaer and the flesh Il
renewed as If by charm, bensh remaining.
The Friend OF the Nursery.
Children frequent sufferers om external injuries espec
ally from fluid md camphene explosions therefore every
should have this healing constantly
sore breasts and quickly removes tho fetef Hgwon
prevalent in children.
TO Travellers by Sea and Land.
The maehins traveller every other Individual whose
lot in life throws him within the chance of accident from explo
sion fire collision should in mind that this Maggie Ex
tractor is his best and ouiy friend 1t Is both portable and cheap
and should ever be his companion, friend in need There
are thousands OF living Witnesses testify vIr
tue who thcr sound limbs and muscles It's saving
efficacy ~.
The following few of the leading diseases to which
DALLEY's MAGICAL. PAIN EXTRACTOR Is preventive.
well as Il
Burns, Bruises, s.- -
BoilE, Broken Breasts,
Bites ef Reptiles, Cancer. 4l s. A.
Cracked Lips chapped Hands, s4. $780,. s@.v.e
.-. Chiblaihs Cramp, ..
Contracted Cords, Chafos, ~
Diseases of the Skin, Erysipelas,
+ .0.... ....Y.a.@.. Ristula, Frost Bites,
Fever Sores Felons,
Glandnisr Diseases
.&.#... ..... .....s.. - 49, .-- MersurisI Sores.
Pains generally,
=" Pimples, Piles
H. M=..-. ..-..-.. 5.- Poison, Rheumatism,
Rashes, Sores Of all kinds,
Shot Wounds, Scrorua
H.. --.-r. Il Scurxy, scalis, scurf. .-. .st. =..=
Sead Heads, sprains -
Small Poz, Tumors, - 5=~
letter, Uucers, = .-- 5..=
yenereal Sores, etc. etc.
Sold the principal depots Broadway New York. and 81
and Isl chartrss street New Orleans, by
J. WRIGHT 4 CO..
General Agents.
also be obtained Of all respectable druggists and msr.
chants throughout the United States and Canadas
New Orleans daily crescent., 1860-01-21
DEATH ON RATS AND REACHES.

WILSON'S GENUINE RAT AND Ro8UH DESTROYER,
guaranteed to be the most sap and effective agent sed foe
the destruction of these troublesome velnin
BE sure and ask for WILSON'S RAT AND ROACH pk'
SfR0fER thete sy spurious articles offered for sae
For sale by i WRIGHT 4 CO.
jail 5m&W 81 and ISL Cbsrtres street,
New Orleans daily crescent., 1860-01-21

botIo H. Hit-lft Sit5 surveyor.
The Treasurers weekly report of receipts and
disbursements, for the week ending Saturday, the
14th inst, showing balance on hand of s3077 so,
was referred to the Committee on Finance.
The following communication was read, and, on
motion, the two first petitions therein mentioned
were ordered to be published in English and French
according to law and the balance Of said communi-
cation was referred to the Committee on Streets
and Landings.
suRYEIoR's DEpARrNEsI. Cry HAIL,
New Orleans. Jan. l6, 1853 (
Tothe Honorable the Common Council.
Board Of Assistant Aldermen:
GentemenI have the honor report avoraby the fol-
lowing petitions for improvements Streets
commend that the be published in conformity with the
City Charter, to wit:
l. OF property holders Danphne street. from Canal
panade street. asking that said street be paved with square
block.
q property yoders St. Louis street. from the evee TO
Basin street. sng that said street be paved with square
blocks
On the petition of property holders snnuncaton street
from Administration Square TO the line Of Jefferson City, asking
that said be paved with square blocks have The
report adversely the not being signed by
property holders required by the City Charter
The petition of the property holders Tchonpoulas street
from Nuns Josephine street opposed 70 the paving Of said
and find that the Il not signed by majority Of run
adoption the necessary resolution ordering the sale Of
a contract for the performance of the work.
remain gentlemen,
: ~ + II e Your obedient servant
New Orleans daily crescent., 1860-01-21

=
Rsoiret That he Comptroller Treasurer in
favor Of Francis Turner hundred and sstwo dollars
for extra ade by him 70 deputies who employed
neoPen the supplementary rolls of capital income and
furniture for the year 1856 order of the chaen of the FL
nance Committees, St.ssrs Il. H. Place and IL y, Bailey
Resoired That Comptroller the Treasurer in
favor Of Mageni E, agent and attorney Of fhos f Moore
Fannie Went wife Of D. o. Anthony, and Edward Went all
legates of the late W Lake per viii recorded in the Hon
ofab Second District cour for the Of four hundred and y
dollars belonging the sud Lake situated te
Rone 81 jean aud which taken by the city for the pro
ongaoa Espanade being understood that the said
J. Msgon age shall The OF transfer OF
the property mentioned above prior his receiving the amount
appropriated by this resolution
Resoiei The Comptroller warrant the Treasurer fof
the payment Of the following bills
W r Hedck two dark lanterns for river police Of
w socker three thousand and sixteen feet Of cypress
Lieut.. Thos. II. Dryden, Of First District Police,
Rations Furnished prisoners IN Decsaber, leee IL q
Lieut. L. 1sstnel, of Second District Police
Rations 10 prisoners December, 1859 .slos 50
Petty f5 lo9 -
New Orleans daily crescent., 1860-01-21

Tie rules being suspended, Mr.. Hall offered the
following report, which was read and adopted and
ordered t0 Be published in the proceedings.
Mr. UaprG moved that 80 copies Of the Budget
be printed for the use Of the Common Council
Carried.
4 Neas Messrs. Monroe, Bcebe, BENT, Del Isle,
punfk, Hall, HnyghG, Massicot and Kingsland -
\ The same member moved that the Budget be
made The speejal order Of tile day for the next
aesting mne diatey after the reading Or the jour
NIL Carried.
1als lsinance Committee hare the honor to sub
i1it lle foll0Ning report accompanying which
they IE0aent far your consideration detailed esti-
mate Of lie probable receipts and expenditures of
HE city foF fbe year 1860
New Orleans daily crescent., 1860-01-21
DIR. wRlGHTs
CELEBRATED DREJUvENATING ELIXIR,

Prepared
on the srctett Pharnaeentca Principles of the abe
Chemists Of the age, for the cure Of
General Debility.
Mental and Physical Depression,
Imbecility,
Determination of Blood TO the Head
Confused Ideas,
Hysteris,
General IrritabiIly,
Rsstlessness and sea
.t,..s ,, =, ,,. Sleepessness ut Night,
Loss of Appetite
Dyspepsia,
Emacation,
+ Low Spirits,
s, DsorganiEation Of the
Organs Of Generation
Palpitaon of the Heart.
For sale in New Orleans, wholesale and retail, by
j. WRIGHT & CO..
q and i5i Chartres street.
Sole Proprietefs
New Orleans daily crescent., 1860-01-21
J. WRIGHT & co.
MEDICAL. -. MEDICAL, MEDICAL
.WINER's CANADIAN EERauFUGE
SAVES THE CHILDREN.

fls is the only sure remedy against Worms In the human
things that fatal md destructive children
Save the Children!
mothers ilney warned and not allow these child
deress to utnan systems Of their offspring, Remember
that
w1NERts CANADIAN yERMfFuGE
viii At and for ansh the reptiles and the young will
be saved. Think Of ths
Colonel yasser, Of Mississippi in letter to j. W. yeey, Esq,
Of the Aberdeen Conservative thus winds his communication
the value of this medicine to his family MY eSpe-
rence has convinced that in the experiment have mado
with Winer's Canadian vemfuge III due suffering human
ity well the manufacturer of the medicine
public the result of my observations.
'ISigncdl W. II. vASSER.n
The Fermifuge ID for sale, Wholesale md retail by
J. WRIGHT 4 CO.,
q and l5 Chartses street,
Sole Proprietors-
New Orleans daily crescent., 1860-01-21
DIR. oseooD,s INDIA cHoLAeoGUE

DIR. 0sGoOD's INDIA cHeLAGoGUE
-CuREs-- a. =
Fever and Ague, Chs and Fever Dab Agu Intermittent
and Remttent Peyers Liver Complaint Jaundice Ea-
asgement Of tho Liver. Enlargement Of the
Spleen, and all the varions forms of
BILIOUS DISEASES.
This invaluable medicine prepared from an extensive
practice Of several years bilious climate and II known
fail curing Fever and Asae any the DISEASES aboYs
named
Those who suffering from affections Of this kind MS ais,
those who have become nvads from their upon the cop
sutien viii find tile INDIA EIoLAG0GuFG Hiot insuiu.
able remedy for purifying The blood and thoroughly cleansing
from the system the morbid effects bilious climate
Tho wonderful effects Of Chpgsgue efadieatn Bile from
the human only explain Its extraordinary agency In
the speedy, thorough and permanent of Fever and Ague
and the various grades of intermittent and enitten feyers
tested thousands eases and is h
all who have used it, Of tha greatest Fever and Aua
remedies exant.
Be and ask for Dir, osGD0D'S INDIA HoI.AGogu.
there many e0uHtefes offered for sale.
New Orleans wholesale and retail nj pr9nr4tor
prices by
j. WRIGHT ( CO.
81 and l5l Gharres street
~=@@ 7~Z Za5z General Agents.
New Orleans daily crescent., 1860-01-21

physician, who had attended on a patient a
great length of time, one day called upon him,
when IN rather q bad humor. The invalid com.
planned and stated that he could not Sit stand nor
lle down. well, replied the doctor, there re-
mains one expedient yet; suppose you hang your.
New Orleans daily crescent., 1860-01-21
JOHN NJ. HALL
An. DuPRE,
JOHN u. LEEfE.
II pATTER ca

The following resolutions accompanying the
above report Were read twice and adopted, the
rules being suspended.
Yeas: Messrs Monroe, Bakewell, Beebe, Bent,
Del'isle, nnpre, Hall, Huyghe, Massicot and Kings
Worcester daily spy. [volume] (Worcester [Mass.]) 1850-1888, 1860-06-19
l0lOrtester Iailp Sun.
From tho Boston Courier

The SCHoLMAsTBR AT HoME.-The ven.
cradle Master Dodge" who taught school
IN Salem upwards OF thirty years from about
the commencement Of the present century
being ON visit from lIs new home at the west
his old scholars agreed to meet him at The
Howard street chapel for the sake OF the me
morles of Aud Lang Syne-" The gathering
was quite numerous, and the old schoolmaster
sat on stool IN the desk, and looked round
upon his scholars assembled on the occasion
with pleasant smile; and look OF afectionate
regard. Some OF the scholars present were of
his early classes, in 1906 and 1907, and sever
al were gray headed and time-wOrn in the
lace, nearly as much as the teacher, but they
all 1et themselves boys again, and you could
see crowded i'll their faces the old boyish
thoughts and feelings and something of that
deep reverence, which pupil feels in the aw-
t1 presence OF a master, TO him the embodi-
hlcnt of human greatness. MIR. Dodge taught
III Salem, up to 1887, and the last years of his
teaching he taught the school'of cpored chill
dren, goodly number OF whom were present,
and seemed almost to idolize their old master
in expressions of regard. "Mastcr Dodge"
said that it was his custom, as they well knew,
to open and close his school with prayer, and
he should do on the present occasion, with
aaeir permisSion. The thought pleased the
scholars, and they all arose from their seats
",iu WIN uo"eu neaus u'li'eu III Uhe very ueF-
o1ion l, "e.u appropriate serTIce' A,teI ti'lS'
soolI' "lt1i sonoiar alose anu recaeu some
eIi'Soi noiueii' WIN s'eat soou nuuior WINE
a1 eyes si"Lhteu Will e.l,o.oial interest ana
I'M a':ei toNe m"s Ilpetla'eui lIaNIng lle oc'
1asioH 10y ~, ir.iel 'nan sat W. VI elle pres
gu. Sa'e,n eu't W;1 meiG VI 'ne s''olns prs
tor of the Salem Observer, and the Hon. Caleb
Tooto' seiiio. eu.eT, 81 vaG h,,. ,
49, ~, FL" So an rferomao - NJ "' p
s ro s n,T '"y t I ,rhil, ha t hoaI
Worcester daily spy. [volume] (Worcester [Mass.]) 1850-1888, 1860-06-19

lead. The swindle was perpetrated through
the agency of Wells Fargo, & Co.'S express,
who when the leadcn ingot was returned TO
their Office in San Francisco, set to work to dis
cover the swindler. He was found to a fancy
goods dealer named A. Kollah, and was let off
upon the payment of the amount Of the
ingot, 5000 and $1,000 for cxpensts incurred.
But the matter did not end here, although the
government officers concluded not to prosecute
him, on account OF ii defect in the law. When
Kollah's rascality became known, his bankers
Immediately paid him the balance, and declin-
ed to have any further transactions with him.
The insurance companies also cancelled their
policy upon his property, and the man stands
before the community convicted swindler,
shnnned by honorable men. This is pretty
sure and swift, and we are not sure that it is
not as handsomely administered as in any case
that has recently come under our notice
Worcester daily spy. [volume] (Worcester [Mass.]) 1850-1888, 1860-06-19

How TO SECURE HOUSES, &C., FROM LIGHT
NING.-It has pleased God, in his Goodness to
Mankind, at length to discover to them the
Means of securing their Habitati0ns and other
Buildings from Mischief by Thunder and
Lightning The Method is this: Provide a
small Iron Rod tit may be made of the Rod
Iron used by the Nailers), but of such a
Length that one End being three or four Feet
in the moist Ground the other may be five or
eight Feet above the highest Part Of the Build
ing. To the upper End Of the Rod fasten
about Foot of Brass Wire the Size Of com
mon Knitting needle, sharpened to fine
Point; the Rod may be secured to the House
by few small Staples. If the House or Barn
be long, there may be Rod and Point at each
End, and middling Wire along the Ridge
from one to the ether A House thus furnish
ed will not be damaged by Lightning, it being
attracted b the Points, and passing thro' the
Metal into the Ground without hurting any
Thing Vessels, also, having sharp pointed
Rod fix'd on the Top of their Masts, with a
Wire from the Foot of the Rod reaching down
round one of the Shrouds, to the Water, will
not be hurt by Lightning"
Worcester daily spy. [volume] (Worcester [Mass.]) 1850-1888, 1860-06-19

STRANGE CONDUCT IN CHURCH.-The
disturbances in the London Church of Saint
Georges-in. the-East seem to have a counter
part in the Reformed Dutch Church at Flat
bush, Long Island. On recent Friday eve
ming, conference meeting being in progress,
and the pastor of the church being engaged in
exhortaton, one of the congregation, who APP
peared to hold opinions adverse to those adj
vanced by the preacher shouted aloud, That
is lie ~ The clergyman paused, and the
sleepers walked up. The general impression
prevailed that this sort of thing would not do
and after time judge went over to the OBJ.
jectional individual, and actually informed
him that such language was improper, and
that if lie could not restrain his impulses he
must leave the place. This temperate ad
dress was received in bad spirit by the other
who knocked down the Judge. Hereupon
another member of the congregation, New
York lawyer, came TO the rescue and attempt
ed to put the belligerent man out him also
the belligerent man knocked down, and gen.
eral uproar ensued, the women and children
screaming, the men crowding on the tops Of
the pews to secure u good view of the afiray
Finally, with the help of two fresh brethren
the overthrow individuals managed to secure
the aggressor, who was taken to the lookup
and the next morning fined $50.
Worcester daily spy. [volume] (Worcester [Mass.]) 1850-1888, 1860-06-19

SWIFT AND Jusr JuDGMENT.-Th story
has been current in relation to an ingot OF gold
that was recently forwarded to Paris from San
Francisco, and sold for $2075, but which after
wards proved to be nothing but yilded mass Of