The Placer herald., 1860-11-10
Artemus Ward Sees the Prince of Wales.

ArtemuS w ara Sees the krlnco OF wales.
The Great Snowman caught a glimpse Of
II. r. II. on the "pz,rro" of a hotel in Can
ada. He had some difficulty in approach
ing the royal youth. through the interference
of the "Kurnal Of the Seventy First Regi.
ment." Artemu< said to him:
Sine Amerycan sitterzen. Ny name
is Ward. line husband & the father of
twins, which line happy to state they look
like me. BY perfeshun line exhibitor of
wax wurks & sirh."
"Good God! yelled the Kurnal, "the i'lee
Of an exhibitor of wax fyyers goin into the
presents Of Royalty! The British Lion may
we'll roar with rage at the thawt."
We give the reception in the Snowman S
own wo rds:
Sez I, albert Elard, is that you?" and
he smit & sed it was. SEE |, "Albert E,larl
hears my keerd. | cum to pay my respects
to the futur King Of IngIand The Kurnal
of the Seventy Onesters here is ruther
smaw pertaters, but of course you amt to
blame fur that. lie puts on so many airs
as tho he wnr the Bully Boy with the glass
eye"
"Never mind," sez Albert lard, "Ime
glad tn see yu, Mister Warl, at all events"
Il he TUX my han'l so plesunt like Il larfed
so sweet that fell in love with him to onct
lie handid me segar & we set down on
the Pizzarro q commenst smokin' rite cheer
ful.
"Wall," sez |, albert E,lard, how's the
old folks?"
"ller Majesty & the Prince are WE'LL" he
sed.
"Duz the old man take his lager beer
reguar!' inquired.
The Prince larfed & ntimated that the
old man didn't let many kegs of ,ha; bev-
erdge sple in the sellar in the course of a
yere. We sot q talked there sum time
about matters and things & bimeby, aked
him how he liked bein' Prince as fur rs he'd
SpC.
ITO speak plain, Mister Warl," he sed, Il
don't much like it. Tn sick of all this
bowin' & scrapin & crawIn and hurrain
over boy like me- wood rather 90
threw the country quietly and enjoy myself
in my own way, with the other boys, and
not to be made Show of to be gapel at
by everybody. When the people cheer me
| feel pleased, for know they meen it, but
if these one hoss offishuls Good know how
see threw all their moves Il understand
exactly what they air after, and knowed
how | arft at them in private, thayd stop
kssin my hands and fawnin over me as
they now do. But you know, Mister Ward,
can't help being Prince, Il must do all
| kin to fl: myself fur the persishun must
sometime orepy."
That's troo," sezs | sickness and the
doctors will cary the Queen orf one of these
dase, sure's yer 'orn."
The time heven arove fur me to take my
departer, ruse up and sed: "Albert Edard,
must 90, but previs tn doing so will obsaave
that you SCOT me. Your good feIler, AL
bert Edard, & though line agn Princes as a
gneraI thing, must say, like the cut of
yure Glib. When you git to be King try
and be as good man as yure muther has
bin. Be just & be Generous, espeshully to
showmen, who hev alters bin aEoozed sins
the days of Noah, who was the fust man to
60 into the Menage buzness, ef the
daily papers of his time air to be believed.
Noah's coleckshun of livin wild beests beet
ennything ever sins, tho l make bold to
dowt ef his snaiks was ahead of mine. Al.
bert Elard adoo!'
tux his hand which he shook warmly,
& give him perpetual free pars to my
show, & also parses to tske home for the
Queen & Old Albert. pu: on my hat and
walkt away.
"Mrs. Ward" sollerquized, as I walkt
along, MRS. Ward, eff you could see your
husband now, jest as he proudly goes from
the presents of the future King of Ingland,
you'd be sorry you'd called him beest jest
becawz he come home tired l mite and want
ed to 60 to bed without taking off biz boots.
You'd be sorry for tryin to deprive your hus-
band of the priceless Boon OF liberty, Betsy
janet" A. WARD.
An English volunteer rife captain, desi-
ring to cross field, with his company, came