Red Wing sentinel., 1860-06-13
'J1Tt1e2ee80tU Forever!
MISS. .sLlMMEN's ON LADY BOARD.
.,..,-, Frs. Is

jAAASA HsPS So ~>sy !" A>es~sAS'oS' A~0~s
the following, in which the landlady
lot "Miss Slimmen's Boarding House :
Single Gentlemen Preferred gives
her reasons for not taking lady board.
lers: 2 -. = no''s''fafs'a n f7o3
81 had application for two new
boarders yesterday, but I told them ]
was full, for I would not have taken
them in for ten dollars week apiece
Why? because they were women,
!young women, and school teachers,
at that! Didn't I see through their
wantin' to qoara here as easy as thro'
pane of glass (? Hnmph, there nev.
er was a young lady school teacher
yet that wasn't wanting to get mar:
rie.l. They knew that this was fav,
orite boarding House for gentlemen
that there were several marriagea,
BILE young men here, and they thought
no doubt, there would be fine times.
If they had had any modesty, they
wouldn't have wanted to board where
there were so many men, as long as
they had no protector, no father, nor
brother to to see after them. One OF
them thought herself very handsome.
They aint the first I have turned
away. Women boarders are a pes
ard nuisance. You never found
anybody that was willing to have 'em
though some is obliged to take them,
that's got families to support, which
Pm thankful to say, haven't they
are everlastingly in the way their
noses are in everything. IF there's
a time or an hour when you wish to
have them keep their rooms, that's the
the very minute, they choose to
leave 'em. They spy out everything,
and they're everywhere. Supposing
them two teachers had a come here
and taken rooms, what eal tbly use do
You think my bodoor would have been
to me ? Would it have been mine OF
theirs most, d" you think? Humph
their Aounocs and their curls would
|hil up every corner; they'd have my
guitar, and by breaking the strings,
and screaming ".Sleeping dreamed;
love-" or I" ! have not loved lightly
until / was DISTRACTED Or supposing
it was married woman, of course
, she'd have "darling,'--a squalling
angry, cross, impudent little thing,
with melasses on it's mouth and dirty
fingers, breaking my dishes at table,
down ''in the kitchen, seven times a
day for piece" and getting, grease
OH my parlor carpet. ~ His mother
wouldn't want to- allow anything fol
fhis board. but he'd eat more than two
eommon-sized men, and she'd wan,
|tAe privilege Of doing his washing in
the laundry, and clear starching her
own muslins once fortnight. She'd
be asking the cook all kinds Of quce.
tions,l and peeking into the cellar ard
the sugar barrel, and the pantry, after
musty pork, or cockroaches, or hashed
meat; and. it she should discover q
dead fly on the diring-room floor, she'd
have cramps in her stomach and lose
her appetite for month. My girl
would have to trot to the door to let
in all her callers, and If I'd any oom-
|pany myself, she'd bo sure to make
herself agreeable as long as they stayed
and about once q week she'd have her
three sisters, or her father and mother,
or her dear cousin John to tea; always
of course when the table is crowded.
hate and despise 'em! I'll have to
be worse off than am; now before /
take women boarders for q livingr I'd
rnther bleach bunnits and live, in a
! brimstun-barrel, like old Diagonal in
his tub! H.