The Oxford intelligencer., 1860-08-22
Artemus Ward ON "Wimmin's
Rffeso

THB witty Snowman, in his last contribution to
the literature of his country, thus discourseth /:
The ensooin scenes in my checkered kareer is
respectfully submitted:
wIMMIS's RITES.
pitched my tent in small town in Injianny
one day last seeson, & while was standin at the
doore takin money, depytashun of ladies cum
up { sed they wus members of the Bumkumville
Femail Moral Reform & Wimmin's Rites Associ-
alton, & they axed me if they Good gOin and not
pay.
mot exactly" scs I, but you can pay with
out goin in"
Dew you know who we r." sed one of the
wimmin-a tall and feroshus lookin critter with
blew kotton umbreller under her arm, dew you
know who We air. SUPP
My impreshun is" sed I, from kursery
view, that you air femails"
ave are, sur sed the feroshus woman" We
belong to Society which beleeeves she is en-
dowed with as mulch intellect as man-which
believes in raisin her to her proper speer-which
believes she is trampled on and aboozed-&
which will resist hensc4th and forever the in-
eroachments of proud and domineering man"
Durin her ,liscours, the cxsentric femail GRABBED
me bv the coat collar & was swingin her umbrellcr
wildly over my he'd
IL hope, marm," sez l, starting back, "thnt
yonr ntenshuns il honorablel Tine lone man.
in strange place, besides I've wife to hum"
"Yes," cried the femail, "S she's slayel Doth
she not dream of freedom--docs she never think
Of THROWN off the yoke of tyrinny, & speakin'
yotin' for herself Doth she never think of
these here thngsT
"Not bein' natrol born fool" seq |, by this
time little riled, 81 kun safely say that she
doth not"
20 whot-whotl" screamed the femail swing
in her unbreIler in the air 30, whot is the price
that woman pays for her experienced"
AZ don't know" SEE I the price to my show
is 10 cents per individual"
"a can't our society go in free:" axcd the
fcmail.
mot if 1 knowit" scd I.
"Crooil, crooil man. she sailed, & bust into
tears.
won't you let my darter inY' said anuther
of the xsentric wimin, talin me afieclshunatey
by the hand 80, please let my darter in-shc's
a sweet gushin child Of natur."
Let her gush" roared I, as mad as ! Good
stick at their tarnal noncents; let her gush y
whcreupon they all sprung back with the stimuli
taneous obscryashun that | was a Beest.
my iemail friends" sed ], "be4 you leave
I've a few remark to remark wa them well. The
fcmail woman is of the greatest institooshuns
of which this land can boste. It's impossible
to get along without her. Had there BIN no f.
mail woman in the world, | should scarcely be
here with my unparalleled show on this horse
pi hes occashun. She is good in sic n sis
good in wcllness-good all the time. 20, wo-
man, woman!" Ierid, my feelings Nurked up
to hipoetic pitch, you 4. a.sul, when you
behave yourself; but when you talk Of your
proper apparel lnctty foricall, spcckin) and
get into mi rantyioons-when You desert your
firesdes & with your heds fall of wmmns rites
noshuns 90 around like roarin lion, seeking
whom you may deyour sumbody in short,
when you undertake to play the man, YOU play
the devil & air an emfltic noaSance. Ny fcmi
friends" ] continued, as they was Indignantly
dcpartin, IVA well what A. Ward has said.'