Pomeroy weekly telegraph. [volume] (Pomeroy, Meigs County, Ohio) 1860-1866, 1860-09-21
Rait and Mlisdom.

Wllt and Vdltsdom.
n~"Neyer saw such stirring times"
as the spoon said to the saucepan.
Why is spendthrift's purse like
q thunder cloud? Because it is contin-
ually = lightning. #
mAWhen does man share with a
silver razor2-When he cuts off his hairs
(heirs) with a shilling.
~What means of conveyances by
land, and what by sea, are ladies fond
est Of? Buses and smacks.
ggIf you were obliged to swallow
man, whom would you prefer to swal-
low? A little London porter.
sa- Elderly unmarried ladies are con-
sidered by some persons the least availa-
ble of all kind Of acatting MAIDS
se- The young lady with speaking
eyes has become quite hoarse in con-
seqence of using them too much.
nm. This life's contradictions are
many Salt water gives US fresh fish,
and hot words produce GOODNESS.
seJ-aThat's part of the sinking fund"
as chap said when box of specie went
to the bottom Of the river.
m-If you think that it is an easy
thing to square the circle, just go and
settle your wife S bill for hoops.
hySusan asked Charley, "What an
imal dropped from the clouds?" "The
rain, DEAR" was the whispered reply.
sgRum, while in hogs-heads, is ca
pable of doing but little mischief; but
when it gets into mems heads-look out.
nM- Did the man who ploughed the
sea, and Afterwards planted his feet on
his native soil, ever harvest his crops.
sw You can easily keep yourself
warm in cold weather by getting con-
1inually in hot water with your neigh
bors.
ne The hardest thing to hold in the
world is an unruly tongue. It beats a
hot fst-iron or kicking horse consid-
erably.
MA man had sign up, Cheap
Ladies' Shoes for Sale here" No lady
entered the store none liking to be
called cheap!
gg-The two gentlemen who stood
upon point of honor, the other day, for
about ten minutes, performed very
delicate feat.
bg Ifyouw want an ignoramus to respect
you, dress in tip-top fashion, wear a
long watch-chain, and seals about the
size of brickbat.
DgA negro caught stealing from
hen-roost, excused himself by saying,
as only come var to see if de chickens
sleep with dar eyes open?'
ueA. The man who threatens the
world is simply ridiculous; for the world
can go on without him, and in short
time ceases to miss him.
m.A partisan paper says it is a mis-
take that the opposite party plays upon
harp of a thousand strings. The Or
gan of that party is Tyre.
MrA a young lady who had mislaid or
lost her beau, was advised to hang up
her fiddle. She said the advice did
great violence to her Heart strings.
@"Joe, what is the cause of that
bell-ringing?" "Why, Pete, can't say.
Guess it's some one pulling the rope"
replied Joe, with assumed gravity.
~A sailor looking very serious in
a chapel, with his hands in his
pockets, was asked by the minister if he
felt any change? Nary red, said
Jack.
m. In youth, the conversation of
women is very apt to be trihing and in
sipid, and in middle age is too often
confined to complaints of health and the
scandal of the day.
1~Among all the would-be accom-
"accomplishments" which our young Ia
dies are expected to acquire, why is it
that the art of conversation" is not in
sluded? Who knows?
Bag Lorenzo Dow once said of grasp
ing farmer, that if he had the whole
world enclosed in a single field, he
would not be content without patch of
ground ON the outside for potatoes.
Dg Miss NJ. says, the first time a
young man squeezed her dress, she felt
as if she was in the land where the rain
bows came from 'Stonishing how po-
etic q little bit of hugging makes some
people.
s@-"I complained of my conditions, >
says the Persian poet Sadi, "but once,
when my feet were bare, and ! had no
money to buy shoes; but I met man
without feet, and became contented with
my lot"
pG~"Ma what is homicide?'
"Why, child, homicide is one who
kills another"
"Well, ma, when Jack Nebb killed
our ould Tom cat, that was Tommy
eide, wasn't it?
"Pshaw, child, be off, and don't bother
me-"