The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1860-05-16
miscellaneous.
THE MAN THAT WAS HUM
BUGGED.

The Stage stopped to change horses
and ''feed" the passengers, at small
town in Vermont. Our dinner being
over, we were awaiting the arrival of q
stage upon an interesting route, 10 pro-
coed upon our journey. Cigars had been
lighted, and by way Of passing our time,
we had commenced a critical examina-
ton of the mammoth pictorial poser of
Barnum's Menagerie, which covered the
walls of the spacious bar room, Bar
NUNS name opened flu 'tful topic of >o--
versation, every one present seemed stor-
ed with anecdotes of rthe "Napoleon of
showmen," and the Woolly Horse, the
Feiee Mermaid, and Joice Heth, were
not forgotten in the discussion which en-
sued.
Suddenly long, slabsided individual,
with an owl like expression ofwisdon and
dignity, who had bsen listening to our re-
marks with an evident dosiro,to take
part broke out.
81 s'pose you think that's an al fired
big consarn Anybody would that
hadn't seen it."
''Then [ suppose you have seen it."
said my legal friend.
ayes, seen it in Springfield" was
the reply, 'it's darned humbug."
as it poss;bc?" said the Major, seeing
prospect offun,-"coultn't you oblise
us with description ofthe institution ?"'
"Certainly. answered Jonathan, "heres
the stage, and as soon as we get started
I'll give you all the items. They can't hum
bug me very often, and when they do l
kalkuate to advertise 'em til | get
square"
In few minutes we were under head
way and our verdant friend commenced
unbosoming himself.
you see Barnum was going to show
his ara,an down to Springfield the fourth
of July, and thought there'd be good
chance to see the elephant, and celebrate
the day both to onc't. What | wanted to
see MORN all the rest was the Car of Jug
glenout drawn by a string of elephants"
"Did it meet your expcctations?'
81 never seen one site ont. Before |
got in town, they'd got thu ough paradin'
the elephant was embarrassed, and the
Car of Jugglenout Iackee into wood
she'd" a'
"Was Barnum aware that you were to
be in town?'' =
"Not as / know" was the answer.
eff he had known it," added the Ma
Tor, he would doubtless have waited. But
you visited the exhibition, | suppose"
"Of course-I was bound to do that
if it bust me. That wasa bigger hum
| bug than all the rest,
allow seq
"Why, it the first place | expected to
see Jenny Lind"
"Was she announced on the bills?"
II don't know, | didn't read them,
but / axed the man who stuck up the
pictures if she'd be there, and | Q said yes,
and that she'd sing the bird song standn
on top of a cage OF cockatoes and parrots.
She wasn't there and | never seed one
site of her, and then | knowed the hull
consarn humbug."
"Well then, I went round, took .ook
at the clephants-and hard work to get
around teo; there was more'n a hundred
thousand people in the tent. Finally I got
where they was and the folks was all feed
in 'em with apples and cakes and things.
had some doughnuts in my hat and I
held it out to one Of the darncd things to
II
add he take one q
ale tuck 'em all, and the hat too, and
stuck 'em in his nasty peaked mouth, and
began eatin. I hollered to the keeper,
and told him it was bran new hat. He
said never mind, he'd get it again.
"Did he get t." sq.s
eyes, he got it. but hat amt of much
account after an elephant has chawed it.
Then I'd be sworn that the hull consarn
was humbug. Well l took a look at
Tom Thumb, and The man that fiddled
with his toes, and the Teller that went in
with the lions. The wild animals was
well enough, but / didn't see as they
looked any diferent from anybody else's.
l. expectcd Barnum's lions would be as
big rs four year old steers. There was
one thing ,thouglr that was first rate; that
was the wax statlary especially the int I'm
perance family. | told the man that had
care of it that I wished everybody that
ever drinAe,! 4 drop Of sperrets, had to