Cleveland morning leader. [volume] (Cleveland [Ohio]) 1854-1865, 1860-02-16
"My Wife's Hen Speculation
Oberlin, Jan. 10, 1850.

One morning, as "my wife" was reading the
Grocery. mans bill, she exclaimed in a most
surprised tone: "Six dozen of eggs in one
week at thirty cents a dozen!" (she drew a
very long breath at this point, and I followed
suit,) "eomes to one dollar and eighty cents a
week." "Exacty," replied, rather sharp and
prompt.
aid like to know what we are coming to!'
inquired my "better half"
That's my sentiments" / remarked, in a
low tone, and raising my voice and speaking to
q younger S-th, who was eating breaicst with
me: John see what yer coming to when y 'er
get married." He smiled, tried to, but 1t was
very hard work.
Il don't believe" resumed my wife, "but
what that Grocery-man tucks on 8 cent or two,
| lust because he knows you Chats me thought
| y won't say a word. l don't see why eggs
should be SO highm There was dead calm
| for two minutss-mY eyes where resting upon
the last boiled egg on the table IN profound
meditation Just as l was about to remark
thst we had better get along with less eggs, l
caught a glance of my wifes eyes, and oonN
cluded that it would be well to let her do the
talking. 81 don't see Why" she again re-
su1aed, "thst il should cost so much to live!-
| We ought to raise all the eggs we want to use,
"Good business" I said, "thAt of raising
eggs" Ny wife continued
| There's Mrs G., she has all the eggs
she wants, and some to sell. She keeps hens,
and her back yard is no bigger than ours
Now, less we keep hens, we can save dollar q
week" John smiled, mJ wife smiled, l smi-
ed, in fact, the whole family-even down to
the youngest S-th, smiled.
"Good!" said I.
At this point my wife enlarged upon the mer-
its of Chittagongs, Shanghais, Burmah PoOtras,
| Chinas, and 4 host of other different kinds of
hens. This subject was the only one which
was discussed at our meals for the next week.
She bought all the different books relative to
raising hens she could find in the bookstores
and the seventh day the entire family had an
attack of the Hen Fever" Even the young.
est S-th's attack was so severe that he rolled
out of the cradle in attempting to clap his arms
and crow.
The building of hen coop was decided
upon. Ny wife was the architect. 1t was built
after an original design, and resembled patent
sausage stuffer as much as a hen coop. Her
next proceeding was to send me to Rocky Hill,
among her agricultural acquaintance, after a
peculiar breed of hens; they were duly purchas-
ed and installed in our coop. So far, all right
and successful. That night there was a pros
cession of hens and chickens, headed by dozen
gigantic ROSTERS that reached the entire length
Of Main street. They, of course, paid a visit
to nv wife; and of course made speech, and
they responded by such tremendous Growing.
and cackling that it sounded as if Bedlam had
broken loose. As each pullet passed my door
she made g most graceful courtesy and dropped
an egg-the ground was covered, and looked
as If there had been a snow storm of eggs.
filled the buttery, cellar, gaTret, closets, and
every possible nook and corner with eggs and az
was about to put two ,bushel baskets full of
them in the parlor under the piano, stumbled
and upset the entire lot upon that instrument,
breaking every single egg. The yellow liquid
run down through the keys of the piano, thence
on to the nice Brussels carpet, all over my
wife's dresses and furs, which had been brought
out ofthe closet to make more room for eggs
That moment was one of great despair
clinching both hands into my hair, l screamed
out one of the widest and loudest shrieks that
mortal ears ever heard.
"Goodness!" shrieked my wife, jumping out
Of bed, and landing in the middle Of the room,
are you crazyi"
"No, guess not" saidI, waking up and col-
Iectiug my scattered senses, ''Only an attack Of
the hen fever"
Since that memorable mig int six mortal weeks
have passed, during which time Ihaye watched,
fed and taKen the best care of those "Rocky
Hill chickens" and instead of saving dollar
a week, they have increased my expenses
Like certain bank stocks, have givsl up all
hopes of q dividend. had looked regularly
every day into that hen coop, only 90 be dis
appointed-not single egg had they seen fit to
Law. As the holidays were coming, suggested
20 nv wife, as the old rooster seemed to be an
almost useless member of the coop, the pro-
priety of ringing his neck. "Mr. S--th,"
said She, 81 want you to know that that rooster
belongs to me, and intend to keep hiH, wheth.
er the hens lay or nOtl' For the first time in
nv life the green-eyed monster took possession
of my breast. vowed eternal vengence upon
that old rooster. Just think Of it for moment
nv wife snubbinp my nose on account of an
old Shanghai rooster "YOu can't expect them
20 Law this cold weather" said she, breaking the
silence, ''it is so cold If they had a dose of
red pepper, it might do them good"
ayes" said l, ''red pepper might DO them
some lod'' EoW's a good time to give that
old rooster fits. Red pepper, though 1 to my
self So I prepared dose of red pepper for
them, looking out 10 give my wife's old rooster
a double dose. You can little imagine, Mr.. T.,
with what infinite satisfaction and delight,
watched the progress of affairs in that coop -
The next day I actually found an egg in the
coop l marked it No. one, carried It in the
house and requested my wife to save it till she
got dozen. gave my wifi, 3 rooster another
dose Of red pepper. The next day found the
20 n,wlr