M'arthur Democrat. (McArthur, Vinton County, Ohio) 1853-1865, 1860-03-08
Race with u Widder.

said | where do you want to gol"-
She bIushed and said she didn't like
IT, say. | told her she must say.
| Well. Jehuel, il you insist upon It
and if must have my choice, had
rather 90 to church"
! What for. widder!" said |.
"Oh, Jehuel, how can you ask met"
srsCause want to know, ;" said /.
"Well, ,"-blushing redder than a
heet-"it is such Geld weather now
AMI the nights are so cold and-oh
Jchuel, can't stand it.
"Oh, pshaw, widder, spit it out;
what do you meau9"
The widder rilrd. She billed right
over like a quart of milk Cd the fire,
and burst ont with
"lfyou can't understand me, you're
a heartless bru,e. SO you are"
"lloId dyourhorscs!" said |. "What's
all this abont. l'm not brute, nor
never was; and it a man called me
that l'd boot him sure"
And then | billed right over, ana
unbuttoned my coat collar to keep from
Dustin of my buttons. The widder
saw was goin to explode or collapse
my wind pipe, and she flung her arms
around my neck, put her lips to mine
and cooled right down.
''Jehuel, dear, said she, in an in
sinuatin way, and voice as sweet as
a hand organ, "Jehuel, honey, | want
to 60 to church to get mar-no, can't
say it all, you finish the word, Jehuel
sweet"
"What word, marml"
"Oh, you stupid Jehuel, dear. l
mean the word married, love"
Married, widderl' said |. "Did
you mean that!"
Indeed | did, Jehuel, love-"
"Look here, marin, my name is not
Jehurl Love, nor Jehuel Dear, nor Je-
huel Sweet, I'D have you know. And
| won't get married to nobody but one
and you are not the she.
/ Oh, pewter pennies, bat didn't she
rave! She made one dash at me,
7doasal as] rhe outted up against the
upper end Of the omnibus. Crack
went her comb, and smash went the
bran new bonnet that | didn't
buy for her, aud down sht went with
her face in the straw. But in a mo.
ment she rose again, and made one
more dash at me. | dropt-she went
over me and butted the door of the
omnibus. The strap broke and out
she went--her gaiter boots higher
than her head as she struck the pave.
ment.
"Drve On!" yelled to the driver
"Woman overheard" cried a pass
ing sailor.
stop that white coat-breach o
promiSe--reward-Her publish,
shrieked the widder in tones OF NOR
tai agony, while tears of blood stream
ed from her beautiful pug nose.
Drive on! drive onl" | shouted.
"Where to2" asked the driver.
"To the devil-to llarlem--to Ma
combs dam--anywhere; so that we
escape malrimony and the wilder"
He started, so did the widder, and
then We had it up the avenue, the buss
having the start OF about q hundred
yards. Foot by foot the widder gain.
ed. Thinks |, Jehuel you're a goner.
| thought 1t best to light ship. So
first | hove overheard the straw.
Still she gained on me. Then over
board went the cushion. But still she
gained on NE. .....
More steam, driver, for mercy's
saLe!" yelled.
! 1--WE are gOinA faster than the law
allows now," he answered. "Thir.
teen miles an hour"
Jehoscphat, how the widder run;
she hove off her bonnet and came uy
hand over hand. A thought struck
me pulled off my white coat and
threw it down right in her path; she
sprang upon it like she panther and
tore ittu pieces. o., how it flew.
wept to see it 90, but life is sweetel
than coat. and my tailor is makiug
a new one. Here we gained full two
hundred yards, but on she came again.
Once more Icculd see the green in her
eyes--mrrciful Moses, how felt.
Driver" said |, skill those horses
or get another mile out of them"
"WilI you pay for 'em9" said he.
"Yes, yes" said |, "Only save me
from the widder."
By crackey, we did slide, the wild,
der no longer gained on us, but she
held her own beautifully. Thus VT
had it--out past the Red house-thrO
i.arlem--where Capt. Graham, with
, three mounted policemen, in vain
tried to catch us; he probably suppos
ing that we wereru1ning off with some
bank fund.
My only hope was in reaching Deg
, roots ahead OF her, for knew they
!; would hide me. We were on tho
Il ..o, A.