Holmes County farmer. [volume] (Millersburg, Ohio) 1857-1926, 1860-03-15
A "KecrfuI Shepherd" )"

Mormonism is still in practical opera
ton amongst us. a few days since
tall, raw -boned Saint, with complexion
very strongly resembling that Of boiled
tripe, arrived here from Pittsburgh with
a couple Of wives, but deeming his flock
too small to start Salt Lakeward with,
held forth as follows to an admiring au-
dience, at house over the canal, with
view to the completion Of his domestic
felicity. His text was:
"Men is Skeerce, and Weemen is Plen
ty."
"Brother and Sistern --perticeler the
Slstern: l want to say few words to
you about Mormonism-not for my own
sake, but for yourn, for men is skeercs anil
sceemen IS plenty.
''Mormonism is bull. on that high, old
principle which sez thet it amt good for
man to be alone, and mighty sight
worse for woman. Therefore, if man
feels good with little company, good
deal of it ought to make him feel on sw
full sight better.
"Ihe first principle Of Mormonism is,
that woman air good thing, and the
second principle is that you can't have
too much of good thing. Woman is
tenderer than man, and is necessary to
smooth down the roughness Of his char
acter, and as man has good many rough
points in his natur, he oughtn't to give
one woman too much to do, but set each
one to work smoothing some particular
pint.
Don't think I'm anxious for you to
iine us for / amt. I'm not speakin' for
my good, but for yourn for men IL
skeerce and oeen1en is plenty.
81 said woman was tenderer than man,
but you needn't feel stuck up about it,
for so she ought to be; she was made so a
purpose. But how wos she made so?--
Where did she get it from? Why, she
was created out of the side bone of a man
and the side bone of man is like the side
bone of turkey-the tenderest part o.
him. Therefore, as a woman has three
side bones, and man only one, of cours
she is three times as tender as man is, anc
is in duty bound to repay that tenderness
of which she robbed him. And how die
she rob him OF his side bone? Why, ex
actly as she robs his pockets now-a-day'
ofhis loose change-she took advantage
Of him when he was asleep.
"But as woman is more tender thar
man, so is man more forgivener than
woman, therefore won't say anything
more about the side bone, or the smal
change, bat invite you all to jiue my
train, for I'm big shepherd out our way
and fare sumptously every day or purple
and fine linen.
"Whep first landed on the shores o
the Great Salt Lake | wasn't rich in wee
men, had but one poor old yoe, but mel
is Skeerce and aOeemen IS plenty, and lik'
keerful shepherd / began to increas'
my flock. Weemen heard of us and o
our lovin ways, and they kept a pouri1
in. They come from the North, and they
come from the South, they come from
the East, and they come from the West
they come from Europe, they come from
Aishey, and few of 'em from Atrikey
and from being the miserable owner o
one old yoe, become the joyful shep
herd of mighty flock, with riSh
smart sprinkling of lambs, friskier and
iatter than anybody else's, and I've got
room for few more.
cas- said before, I'm not talkin' per
tickeler for my benefit, but for yourn-
for men is Sheerce and geensen is plenty
Still, I'd a leetle rather you'd so along
with me than not, perticlller you fat one
with the caliker sunbonnet, Don't hes
itate; but take the chance while you can
get it, and I'll make You the bell-yoe O
the flock. I'll lead you through greer
pastures and the high grass; show yor
where you may caper in the sunshine, and
lay down in pleasant places, and, as yor
are in pretty good condition already, il
course of time you shall be the fattest ii
the flock. Jine in, jine in /; jine in my
train; jine it now; for men is skeerce anc
aceemen is plenty"
The appeal was irresistible. At the
last account "the tat woman with tn
caliker sunbonnet" had LINED in," an'
two or three were on the fence, with de
cided leaning toward the "Keerful Shep
) herd. - Cincinnati Enquirer.