Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1860-04-19
Hligtell0TrQug.
HOW BEN pvRTLE GOT HIS WIFE.
A WESTERN STORY.

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tie. He was red haired, and each hair stood
as if it cherished the supremest contempt Tor
its ncighbur. His face was as ireckled as
the most bespotted turkey egg. His nose
supported at the bridge large lump, while
the end turned vicously to one side. His
mouth had every shape but a pretty shape.
His form was as uncouth as his face was uS-
". The very climax of ugincss was Ben
furtlc What was more still, Ben had a
handsome, bouncing, blooming wife-such
as can only lie grown upon country farm.
GLOW the deuce, said | to Ben one day,
'tl,d you ever get such wife, you uncouth,
nisslapcn, quintesscnce of monstrosityY'
Ben was not at all offended by the impcr-
Thence ofmy question, and forthwith began
to solve the mystery thus:
"Wcll, now, gals what's sensible ain
cotchcd 10y none of your purity and hifalutln
airs. I've seed that tried morn once You
know Kate ware alters considerable the pur-
tiest gal in these parts, and all the young fc-
lers in the nalorhood used to try to cotcl
her. Wei, used to 90 over to old Sammys
too. lust to kinder look on. you know, and
cast sleeps eyts at Kate. But mercy sakes !!
had no more thought that could get Kate
than Jerusalem cricket could hide on the
hair that wasn't on old Sammy's bald head
no stree. But still | couldn't help going.
an my heart would kinder tluttcr, and my
ewes would burn all over. whenever Id 90 to
talk with Katy. And one day when Kate
sor.cr made fun of me like it almost killed
me sure: | went home with something like
rock iostling about in my breast, and declar-
ed I'd hang myself with the first plow-line
found.
did you hang yourselfT
"No; daddy blazed out to me for not TAX
ing old Ball to the pasture III the morning,
and scared me so that forgot it,
"Go on, said !, seeing Ben pause with
apparent regret that he had not executed his
Vow.
"W.cll, soon on Sunday morning--l reck-
on it was wear after that hanging scrape-
gol up and scrapcd my face with daddy's
old razor, and put on my new copprus
britchcs, and new linsv coat nanny had
had died with sassafras bark and went over
to uncle Sammy's. Now I'd got to loving
Kate like all creation, but never cheaped
to anybody about my feelings. But know
ed was on the right side of the old folks.
"Well. now, amt it quar-" continued Ben,
chow q feller will feel sometimes? Some
thihg seriiieu W S"! 40 s M."' 'o,' % ana ,bon
furiie' TINS Is great ia! ~, y1ui i;t "'u '';eu
my heart iiul'erea anu Ju"1peu "ns H. i Jai
bird n trap, anu mhen 80 ho..,' .mu,' gu"
frock on, ! rally thought | should take the
blind staggcrs, anyhow.
Ben paused again to brush the fog from
his eyes, anu ''lon Ion.,u ,naar ar ,,o 1o
'"el' ion1u ',ie u'''el VI Sha. sho y d ""I IL. G
60 mnscahuile l'In'iS. I o"' o""' bo ""u TS i
TWO SISTERS, anu 'iii' p"II" So, was rnh. s
khowe" nns t'''io iit. %; ''""p ,h TO-
ter hatc, ana l 'late. .',.n ~o,'o .. sn"" ne
hates 10 h1a the way gu, y, 'a'e' P"yI P''L;.,
put uloi s &c. sh.o, G". an, thrnadc,oth over-
oritches anu my s, i,aoa ho ,uas,,,t wor,h
coat, out everybody nn'u ;,h ~ won aud ua,
red cent. lie w".he' NE m.'I H. h".v, ', anu 'Jt
ousnt 10 nave seu'i 'I: 'no 20 ~ me. H. P ,,,.
was Mss ha'o a"'' "'s ma'o No 'anno .
anu all suo' 'onaes LaI ,'' ,''as ~, ~ Ino,
near slo"sl, Ma' ;,a w. h"t ,Ln ~ n,oS' ooJ
ana l no'.on W p'sG" viz '"'''
hoan,ns 'iit9 'no ",' m".e'. a' + ,stod
M MMhy oiun you sii "HIn. d.
otop' never ll.hu sa,u .h n.n Il S,r"E E. ,mo
nudge ro',uehue uIne In ."s Sha. al s. up ,oai
No'h,ne ''us' uo cu' 'o r. o'P ;PI ns ~ a. .I
MISS Na'e ACROSS ius. ~ Jei"Peu y" .n
iog IN hisn s'ee aiu .oun ~ ,a'. b,,ir ""u, ""u
they put OH. ous. 40 'nuy ~. na,, ;. way os
cross tarha.loh p'e "n'i moS Ju'"pou vi
INTO the wa'er-you NnoM 'noy hono.L
snakes! screamed tie ioo,' anu A"oehIu
Nate on up 10 'er "s''. ~ '"e ,,' n"''y, o"n,
mnduy water anu Mn"s uy, Snnh snah. "o