The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1860-09-14
7 HE CALIFORNIAN
short Sermon to .'Eou.Ii> " Orshippers.'
~ WH.ANG DOODLE.

and made great iamenta:ion over him.-Act>,
viii. ,.
My DEAR DorGiss BRETHREN: intend
to talk to YOU at this time about the folly
ard sintuiness Ct worshipping man. The
heather bow down 10 wood aud stone, and
some worship uncean beasts, while others
bow in humble alteration even to kiss great
toe But We of this generation have been
guilty of the meanest .dolatry of all in wor-
shipping little lump of corrupt flesh and
blood, called Stephen, now defunct. A few
weeks ago. when We laGed our vessels with
rum and whisky for our brethren who were
sent as missionaries TO the port Of Charleston
in the foreign land of South Carolina, to
preach the gospel OF Died Scott and popular
sovereignty, and gave bread and meat, our
departed friend was full Of promise, and high
upitl.d as the Democracy, and all who would
fall down and worship him should have their
reward. But, alas, our brethren have re-
turned to US with nothir g but his unsecmiy
carcast. "And devoat men carried Stephen
to his burial, and made great lancnta,ion
over him."
And it came to pass when our chief pri-
Yates and elders were gathered together III
Convention at Charleston, that many Of the
hcathens of tkat region, would not fall down
and worship our golden calf. Ard We said
unto them tina, they were wrong; that the
golden calf would grant them many induigeh-
ces; he would give them Bourbon whisky,
apple jack and red eye as beverages, and had
promised zine hundred and ninety nine thou
sand foreign missions. post offices and Gus
tom houses, and to take five hundred old TO-
gies into his cabinet. But ali this would not
avail. Nary bowel of compassion could he
moved within them, ana therefore Cur breth-
rem returned unto US And devout men
carried Stephen to his burial, and made great
lameniatlOn over him.
And the disciples Of Stephen spake unto
th-m saving. that they did not care whether
nigsers were voted upside down, or dJwnsidc
up. 1t made no difference. But they were re-
belliuuS, and declared that we must get the
Niger out Of the fence and protect hIm' lii
the territories where there are not fences !;
bat wecouldn'; do It. We referred them to
Frecport, where Stephen spake OF unIrlendiy
legislation, tut they didn't care red for the
Police magistrates Of the territories. but
would pasture their nlggers there, Oh Uncle
Sans Farm. They wouldn't lei US put L
fence of uniriendiy legislation around them,
and because We wouldn't give the Iii sger pas
ture, they waxe1 sick with wrath. and Ste
phen gave up the ghost And Ge,out net
Carried Stephen to his burial, and made great
lampntatinn over him
In vain our brethren promised to erect Il
e.. L,St l.i,
rem with tricks CT leserdemain. But they
Needed not our entreates. On, The iIiepses
sible conflict. 1t squeezed our poor little
Stephen SO hard, that gJut or influenza heed
not trouble him. The lions roareJ at him.
Tie eagle "quisered his tail at him in proud
defiance Old Buck shook his horn at him
The igger siuo.l his wool, and laughed al
him, because the "ltaIlinauicr received Hole
votes from the Suckers than he did. And
one hundred and i.ty-two and 4 half brethren
stood by and saw him crushed out, and be
walled their empty pockets, and the loss OF
the good things promised them. And de-
vout men carried Stephen to his burial, and
made great lamentation over him.
Aud now, III conclusion, my dear Douglas
brethren. know it IS hardtor us to believe
that Stephen is snutiel out. WccAn not realize
it, But it is even so. We shall never be-
hold his Goa: tail dragging on the ground
any more. lis beautiful toiGs have been
wrapped around his wounded scat OF honor,
and he has been Laid at rest. The "irrepreS-
sible conflict has deal; him >n.a>her or the
mob, and his voice viii 10 longer charm Is
with the beautiful song OF Popular Sovereign
ty. Therefore Cease NoUr biuhbcr.ng :or
Stephen. There is yet hope OF salvation !ur
US poor shipwreckeG sinners to CHING to. GCl
brethren North and South already stand up
on it. Though the heather have denounced
it as relic OF barbarlSm, yet our elders III
the great council of the nation, say it is a
good one. We will go to that land Of lies
sed saints in Utah, where it is fenced in, and
shout for old Mrs. Poly Gamy. There repo-
sing on her bosom, We will barry all our sor-
rows for the immaculate Stephen vino was ST.
shameiuily martyred az Charleston. Let him
not rot in peace.
Farewell, then to Old Stephen,
The famous Charleston Inartvr;
For he lied We couldn't believe him,
And we wont 20 tu!nbng utter.
Thus, you see. have quoted the Dutch
poet, and we will close with the words of the
text, And devout men carried Stephen to
his burial, AID made great lameutai!on over
him Amen
The choir will please sing that goo! Old
sociology OF ''posslm up gum tree, while
collection is being taken up for the benefit
OF our late missionaries to Charleston.
n MAGNASlMors DoG.-My eldest son was
crossing the fields in the country, some dis
lance from any dwelling. when he was pur-
sued by a large and fierce dog. belonging to
the gentleman whose land he Was crossing.
The lad was alarmed and ran for his life
He struck into piece Of woods and the dog
gained upon him, when he iooned around to
see how near the creature was and ;umbiLS
over a stone. be was pitched Oft prtci pce
and broke his leg. Unable to move. and at
the mercy of the beast, the poor fellow saw
the dog coming down upon him, and expect
ed to be seized and torn; when, to his sur