The Grand Haven news. [volume] (Grand Haven, Mich.) 1858-18??, 1860-01-18
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

= The qualities of your friends will be
those of your enemies; fervid enemies,
warm friends. 4
Mrs. Partington wants to know, if
it were not intended that women should
drive their husbands, why are they put
through the bride ceremony!
= Justice and mercy are the bass and
treble strings of tho great Tyre of Heaven,
which make all the harmonies aud sym
phonies of the universe.
= Corn sells in Springfield, H., for
twenty cents per bushel, and wheat at
one dollar. The crops were abundant
the past season. s-
- IL is an economical reflection, that
when garments are too short, the difficult
ty may be remedied by wearing them
longer.
- The 18th inst, the day on which it
commenced to rain, according 60 Prof
Ryan, was to have been the coolest day
known in Michigan for years. .I
Sec that you make progress; see
that when the year is closing you have
not all the evil tcmpers and infrmities of
character which at tpresent aff1ict you.
= A man must first govern himself,
ere he be fit to govern family; and his
family, ere he be fit to bear the govern
ment Of the commonwealth.
= Open your mouth and purse eau
tiously, and your stock of wealth and
reputation shall, at least in reputc, be
great.
-'Tis an i'll thing to be ashamed of
ones poverty; but much worse not 70
make use of lawful means TO avoid it.
= The reason why so few marriages
are happy, is because young ladies spend
their time in making nets, not in making
cages.
! A person having occasion to notify
a doctor to visit his wife, said to him as
he was stepping into his chaisc, snow
doctor, you'll drive to kill, won't you! 7"
"Yes, certainly" replied the doctor.
- In the Boston theatre there is n
chandelier twelve feet high, and weighing
four thousand pounds. 1t has two hun
dred and forty lights, and ten thousand
rcficetors.
"A nigger was found in piano box
at Toroito, @. w. lie lad been bro't
in it all the way from "over the line.'
Talk of Day & Martin-there's black.
in-box" for you!
= A jolly sleigh load upset says the
Milwaukee NeaOs, on the road, recently
Four young ladies were seyerely-kissed
but no bones were broken, we believe, but
whalebones.
l When you wish to sleep in church,
quietly take off your superfluous garments,
and lie straight down in the aisle; that
is, do it openly; for church is no place
for hypocrisy.
- Some very moral young women in
Syracuse, have established an Association
: which they style, "The Young Wo-
mans Anti-young man waiting at-the.
: Observation-Disclosures object Socie
typ Nothing like good title.
- The woman who made n pound o.
butter out of the cream Of Joke, and ,
cheese from the milk of human kindness
has since washed the close of the yea
and hung 'em to dry on Mason u Dixons
line.
- Near Warren, Co., is posted on {
: meadow fence the following: "Notis--
Know kows is aloud in these medders
enny man or woman letten thare kowI
run the rode wot gifts inter my medder
afoursed shall hav his tale kut orf bi NEE
Obadiah Rogers"
- Tom Tit remarked to us, the othc
day that the Ohio river had a rcmarkabl,
long face. "How so?" we innocentlI
inquired. "Why, it is twelve hundred
miles from its head to its mouth" w
gave Tom the stump of cigar we wer
smoking and walked away musing.
ABsENT-MNDED.-We saw an odito
yesterday, who has the habit of carrying
d his pencil in his mouth, take lighted
cigar therefrom, and endeavor TO write al
. editorial with it. He did not discove
his error, until he burned his fingers il
endeavofing to sharpen il with dulljack
knife. milwaukee News.
:, A BAD FIx.--A Dutchman thus des
cribes an accident
\ avonce, long vile ago, / vent into
J mine able orchard 10 climb bear tree I,
oei some beaches to make mine vrow
blumb-budding nit; and venI get on tn
! tobermost branch l vail from the lower
$ most limb, NIT Won leg on both sides O
the fence, and like to stove mine out
e side in."
CURIoUs.--II How strange il is that twhel
young lady and gentleman go on
: sleigh riding the seat Of tho cutter is al
u ways too wide for them. We have seel
such parties passbeneath our window will
4 room enough on the seat for another in
S dividual. They are selfish too, for thel
a never let that other individual ride will
them. Mllwaukee News