Daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1865, 1860-09-25
Artemus Ward Secs the Prince o
Wales.

w AAGSs
| NJ Friends Of the Editorial KorDse 81
| rite these lines ON British sile. I've bin
fnlleriu Mrs. .Eictory's hopeful sun Albert
Edard threw Kanady with my unparalleled
Show, and tho haint made much in Pc
coonery pint of vew, I've lnrnt sumthin
new over hear on British Sile, WHARF they
hciceve in Saint Gorge and the Dragoon
PreviS to cumin over hear tawt my or
ginist how to grind Rule Brittany and
other airs which is poplar ou British Sie
| / likewise fxt wax fgger up to represent
Sir Edmun He'd the Govner Ginral. The
statoot fxt up is the most versytilc wax
statOot ever saw. I've showd it as Wm
Penn, Napoleon Bonypart, Juke of We'll
lington, the Beneker Boy, Mrs. Cunninham
'S v0ris other persons, and also for sertin
pirut named Hix. I've hin so long amuug
wax statOots TINT kin fix IN up to SCOT
the tastes of folks, h with sum paints
hcv kin Civ their fasis bcncvcrlcnt or
| tiendish look as the kAsc requires l Civ
Sir Edmun He'd bencvcrlent look. 4
when sum folks who thawt they WAS smart
scd it dident look like Sir Edmun He'd eny-
more than it did anybody else, l scd
That's the pint. That's the beauty of the
Statoot. 1t looks like Sir Edmun He'd or
any other man. Yu may kali it what yu
pleese. Eft it don't look like ybody that
ever lived, then its scrtinly remarkable
StAtoot & well worth Seein. I kali it Sir
Edmun He'd. Yu may kali it what yu
darn pleesel" had 'em thnrc
At larst I've had interview with the
Prince, tho it putty nigh kost me my val
lerble life. I cnwt glimpse of him as he
Sot on tho PiZarro of the hotel in Snrnia,
Il elbowd myself threw crowd of wim-
| in, children, sojers Il Injins that was
haugin round the tavern. was drn wing
peer to the Prince when red fased man
in Millingtery close grMbd holt of me &
axcd me WHARF was goin all so bold?
tTo see Albert Edard the Prince of
Wales" sed |; ''who be yu ?"
| He-aed5 shefwns Kurns.l ot the Seventy
Fust Regiment ,1EIetz Mngistry's troops
told him l hoped the Seventy Ouesters was
in good heIth, and was passin by when he
! ceased holt of me "gin, L sed in IL tone of
| INDECENT cirprise:
''What? Impossible! 1t cannot bel!
| BlHrst my hize, sir, did undcrstan you to
say that you was actooaly going into the
presents of his Royal Iniss?'
!"That's what's the matter with me-"
replide.
''But blorst my hize, sir, its onprese-
lcntcd. It's orful. sir Nothin like it
hain't hAppend sins the Gun Power Plot
Of Guy Forks. Owdashus man, who dir
yu?"
"sir," scz I, drawin myself up put
ting on deinntair, cline Amerycun sit
terzen. My name is Ward. Ime hus-
;'"nd 4 the fNther of twins, which Ime
happy to state thay look like me. By per-
.eshen Ime exhibitor of wax wurks 4
5ich."
"GOod Godr, yelled the knrnal, "the
dee OF a exhibitor of wax tlggerS goin into
the presents of Royalty! The British
Lion may we'll rorc with raje at the
thawt!"
Sez I, "Speakin of the British Lion,
Kurnal, Ide like to make a bargin with yu
! fur that beast fur few weeks to add to
my Show" dident mean nothin by this.
| was only gettin OFF a goak, but yon orter
hcv seen the Old Kurnal jump up & howl.
He actooolly femed at the mouth.
'sThis can't be real" he showtid. ''No,
no. It's a horrid dream. Sir, you mir not
q human bein-you hev no existcnts-yure
Myth"
s.Wan," scz I, cold boss, yuIe find me a
ruthcr Uncomfortable Myth ef yu punch
my inards in that way agin." I began to
git a little riled, fur when he called me q
Myth he puncht me putty hard. The Kur-
nal now commenst showtin fur the Seven
Is Ouesters. | at fust thawt Ide stay &
becum Marter to British Outrajc as such
a course mite git my name up ( be a good
advertise ncnt fur my Show, but it occur
red to me that eff emmy ofthe Seventy One
sters shood happin TO insert a barronet
into my stumn,ick it mite be unpleasant,
4 was on the pint of runnin OFF when
the Prince hisself kun up & axed me what
the matter was. Sez,5".Albert Edard, is
TINT yu?'' & lie smilt 4 sed it was. Scz |,
.Albert Edard, heers my kccrd. / cum to
land The Eurnnl of the Seventy One
sters hear is rather smawl pertaters, bnt
of coorse You amt. to blame fur that. lie
puts on as many airs Ns tho he was the
Bully! Boy with thefglass eye"
.sNeYer mind scn Albert Edard, cline