Clarksville chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1857-1865, 1860-02-24
AN ApvENruRE oN rHE Cars.


ever let loose from college 1t was vacation
andiwe concluded to take trip to the Falls We
got aboard the cars at N, and were soon travel
ing very rapidly towards our destination.
We had just seated ourselves and prepared for a
comfortable smoke when in came the conductor,
and who should it be but our old friend Fred B.
After the common salutations, "Iow are you old
fellow" etc, had passed, Fred said he had some
business for us to do.
"0ut with it, old chum," said we ''anytbing at
all will be acceptable, so let us have tn
"Well, boys" said Fred in very confidential
tone, "in that next car there is as qovin' pair as
ever ii was my lot to see. They are going down to
H TO get married, and now ifyou can have any
fun over it just pitch in. They must be cared for
and don't know who can do it better than you
In moment Fred was gone, and we set our
heads together to form plan for taking of the
lovers.
81 have it boys,' said Bill Stevens 1--WE must
make that girl believe that her lover is married.
''That's it Bill-tbafs it," said we, not giving
him time to finish his sentence.
"That he is married man and the father of chill
dren, said Bill.
"Thats the game, boys now let us play it,"
1t devolved upon me TO commence operations
Accordingly, entered the car in which we were
informed the lovers were. Sure enough there they
were, in soft love style,
them ] said
why Jones what in the deuce are you doing with
this girl?'
"See here, stranger" said the fellow "your'e a
mite mistaken, my name amt Jones'"
"Why, Jones" said /, 'iyou certainly haven't left
your wife end children and tried to palm yourself
off for single man, have youln
81 tell you my name amt Jones' its Harper II
never was Jones' faint goin to be nuthern
I alu uhOolr kaa Al.
seat to see the rest of the fun. The girl looked
wild after sat down but Jones, alias Harper soon
convinced her that was mistaken.
About the time they got to feeling right well
again, in came Elliott Gregg. Walking up to Har-
per- he accosted him with
"Why, Jones, you here! How did you leave your
wife and babies?'
"Now, see here stranger, you aint the first man
that's called me Jones to-day an / reckon must
look awfully like him; but amt Jones' and more n
that You mustn't call me Jones. hain't got wife.
nor babies either but this here galan is goin'
to splice, an then you talk about my wife, and
| wouldn't wonder but what in the course Of time
you might talk about the babies too, but you
mustn't call me Jones'
This retort brought forth vociferous laughter from
the spectators and ii also brought bushes TO the
face of '1he girl that was goin' to be spliced"
"Ahl Jones" said Gregg, 'you will regret this in
the future. pity your wife and children and this
poor girl"
$50, Mr.. Harper, your real name is Jones is IL
an you've been foolin' me, have your Well, we
amt spliced yet and don't think wewil be soon" !"
said the girl and her eyes fairly flashed fire.
"Jane jane said Harper, 'don't you know I'm
Bill Harper2 Thar amt darn drop of Jones blood
in me, an III prove it,"
"At this moment JEFF jackson, Bill Sewers and
Jim Byers entered, and of course their attention
was called to Harper by his loud talking. They
stepped up to him and said
"Why, Jones, what is all this fuss about"
This was more than Harper could stand. He
leaFed upon a seat.
"Now,' said he, 'my name amt Jones, and car
lick the feller that says II is"
BY this time VIC had got to H., and our friend
Fred came into the car and made Harper keep quiet
The girl that wouldn't be 'spliced' requested Fred
70 help her on the train that was going back tC
n, which he did and the notorious Jones, ALA
Harper, followed her We learned afterward thai
he proved himself to be Bill Harper instead of Bill
Jones and he and his gal Jane got "spliced.'