The star of the north. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, 1860-10-31
A San Francisco AuetiOneer.

furnishes that paper with the following re-
port of speech made by California
auctioneer:
"Ladies and gentlemen, | now have the
honor of putting up fine pocket hand
kerchief; yard wide, yard lcng. and
almost yard thick; one hall cotton, ana
the other half cotton too; beautifully
printed with stars and stripes on one side,
and the stripes and stars on the other. IL
will wipe dust from the eyes so completely
as to be death to demagogues and make
politics as bad business as printing pa
pers. It's great length, breadth, and thick
ness, together with its dark color, will ena
bic il TO hide dirt, and never need washing
Going at one dollar q-seventy>five cens!-
fifty cents ?-twenty-fve cents ?-one BIT!
Nobody wants it oh thank you sir
:'Next, eentlemen-for the ladies won't be
permitted to bid on this article-is real,
simon pure, tempered, highly polished,
| keen edged Sheffield razor bran spankin
new never opened before to sunlight,
moonlight, starlight, daylight, OF gaslisht;
sharp enough to shave a lawyer or cut
disagreeable acquaintance or poor relation
| handle of buck horn; with all the nVeis
! but the two al the ends OF pure gold. Who
| will give two dollars one dollar halt a
( dollar! Why, ye long bearded, dirty laced
re2robaIes, with not room on your phizzes
| for a Chinese woman TO kiss, I'm Offering
/ you a bargain at half a dollar razor and
strop-a recent patent upon ii will shar-
! pen the city attorney all for four bits; and
| a piece of soap-sweeter than roses, lathers
better .han a schoolmaster, and strong
enough 10 wash out all the stains from
! California politicians countenance, all for
four bits Why you have only 10 put the
razor strop and soap under your pillow at
night TO wake up in the morning cleaned
shaved Won't any body give two bits,
then for the lot? / knew ] would sell
em.
Next, ladies and gentlemen, offer three
pairs socks, hose, stockings, or half hose,
Just as you're a mind TO call them, knit by
a machine made on purpose, out OF cotton
wool. The man that buys these will be
enabled to walk ill he gets tired and,
provided his boots are high enough, needn't
have any corLs the legs are as long as
bills against the corporation, and as thick
as heads OF the members OF the legislature
Who wants 'em at one dollar! Thankee
madam, the money.
Next, offeE you pair of boots; made
especially Tor SAT- Francisco, with heel:
long enough TO raise man up 10 the Hoad
ley grades, aud nails TO insnre against be
} ing carried over by land slide legs wide
i enough 10 carry two revolvers aud bowie
knife, and the uppers of the best horse
leather man in these boots can move
about as easy as the State capitol. WhC
says twenty dollars? All the iax payer
ought TO buy pair to kick the councl
with everybody ought 10 have pair Il
kick the legislature with and they will b'
! found of assistance in kicking the bucket
1 especially if somebody should kick al be
/ ing kicked Ten dollars for legs, uppers
and soles while souls, and miserable soul
T al that, are bringing twenty thousand do
5 lars in Sacramento Ten dollars len dol
F.! lars ! Gone al ten dollars!
Next is something that you ought I
have, gentlemen, lot of good gaIlowses
: sometimes called suspeuders. ! know tha
d some of you will after while be furnishe
at the States expense, out you can't 'e
winch one, so buy where they're cheaI
e All that deserve hanging are not supple
n with a gallows; if SO, there would be nc
body to make laws, condemn criminals, {
n hang culprits until a new election. Mad
e of pure gumelastic-stretch like judge
e conscience and last as long as Caiiiorni
'i holder will sleal; buckles of PuI
e iron, and warranted to hold so tight that n
,, mans wife can rob him of tie breeche'
9 are in short, as srong, as good as Periec
: as efiectnal, and as bona fdc as the ord
nance against Chinese shops on Dupo
IS sreet-gone at twenty-five cents"