The independent press. (Abbeville C.H., S.C.) 1853-1860, 1860-03-30
EXCERPTS.

we should do well to take counsel from
the wise and warning from the foolish.
REMEDY FOR FITS. Buy Your clothes
at s!opeshop, and you will never have a
fit aftcrward.
When you have occasion to utter a re-
buke, let your words be soft and Your ara,u
ments hard.
There is just as much iptemperance in
drinking physic as in drinking anything
else.
Take your place modcs,ly at life ban
quct, says kncbel, and ask for nothing not
in the bill.
Why is anything reconsidercd accounted
profitable ?'-Because it is considered a
gain.
A man in battle is not allowed to whistle
TO keep his courage up, tho whis,ins Of
the bullets doesn't have that Tendency.
There is a lawyer so excessively homes;
that he puts all his ilowcr-po;s out over
night, so determined is he that everything
shall have It's dew.
y mean to abandon my habits of life
said adissipated gcnlleman.-'Arcy YOU sure.
sir, that they are not abandoned enough
already?'
An author, ridicul;ng the idea Of ghosts,
asks how dead man can get into locked
room. Probable with skclctonkcy.
Two cousins, named Cricket, were mar
ried recently, in Jefferson county. We are
opposed to such cricket matches.
4 have afresh cold,' said gentleman to
his acquaintance.-'Why Go You have
fresh one? why don't you have it curedp
'What was the use of the eclpse?' asked
young lady.-'Ob, it gave the sun time for
reflection replied wag.
Mr.. Day, Of Colchester, has brought an
action against his neighbor for stealing lis
dog. No doubt he thinks that every dog
should have his day, and every Day his
dog.
Doctor, what do you think is the cause
OF this frequent rush blood to my head g
Oh, it is nothing but an effort of Nature.
Nature, you know, aJAors racuum.
Persons who ascend together in bal
loon may be the best friends in the world
at starting; but they rarely fail, during
their trip, to have high words, and come to
hard blows
A glass of soda.water was offered to a
country lad who rejected it with the erca-
test indignation.--'Do you think am
salamader,' said|he, to drink water billing
hot?'
The following is aunt Betscy's description
9f her milkman lie Is the meancst man
in the world she exlaimed. He skins his.
milk on the top, and then he turns it over
and skins the bottom
A pretty woman is like great truth and
has no more rightto bundle ubaeaa green
veil, or any other abominatiop, than the has
to put on green spectacles.
A contemporary inquiries if the Young
aadies'oftbe present day are fitted for wives.
A MUCH more Important inquiry is, whether
they are fitted for husbands.
On tombstone in churchyard in Ulster
England, is the following epitaph :-'Erec-
ted to the memory'of John Phillips, acci-
dentally shot as mark Of affection by bis
brother
A young buck nova days is curiously
compounded. lie has beaver on his head
goatee' on his chin ,'kids on bis hands,
calves onIhis legs, (and doeskin also,) casts
sleeps eyes, and is looked upon by his doe.
tirg.daek as deer at any price.
HE1eus OF THE HUMAN spEc1Es.-M
silverman has been pursuing certain investi-
gatiopssffom which hs arrives at conclusion
that tie average height Of the human race
has remained unchanged since the Chaldean
epoch, four thousand years ago.
aCgatogs. cusToM.-A peculiar custom
prevails at Norham, Durham, that if the
bans Of marriage be thrice published, and
the marriage does not not take place the
refusing patty whether male or female pays
forty sbillings to the vicar, as ssRenaIty for
'scornipg the church,
Patno dependence on genius. If you
bayaassat talents, industry will improve
beEnI; if you have. but, t,noderate abilities,
dustry- wiilsuppH their 'defciencyss No
g isadenfed to we'll directed labor; no.
worth having is to, be obtained with