Muscatine weekly journal. [volume] (Muscatine, Iowa) 185?-1890, 1860-11-09
Funnygraphic.

Ga5 Even pig upon spit may console
hlmselt-thlngs will take turn.
u In Louisville, an anagram on the Lit/
Tie uiant shame has caused considerable mer-i
rlment in private crcles-Loud gas!
Gy-"What's Biography, Bill ?n sslt's tellin'
OF forrIn' lands that We know nothin' about.
| by cate chaps that's never seen 'en.n Bill
| got government situation.
| s-Y A little girl, hearing her mother speak
of going into halt-mourning, asked. "Wbv
are you going into half-mourning. mamma
are aay OF your relations half dead 2"
Ds~ care those bells ringing for fire q,
inquired Simon of Tyberias. mo, indeed,'
answered Iibe, 'they have plenty of fire and
the bells are now ringing for water"
GD We love to listen to the soft breatb-
ings OF the flute, the Eolian melodies of the
hsfp, and the bewiidering tones of the yio.
lln, but then the kettledrum-sah there's
the rub'--a dab.
Father, did you ever have ana
wife besides mother p
mo, my son what possessed YOU
such question ?"
because saw in the family Bible
yon married Anna Dominy, 1888, and
isn't motber,'ior her name was Sally Smi
A certain divine gave out psalm
his chocisters, who attempted to set it to a
new tune but, having made blunder. thu
clergyman, when he came to that part Of tha
litany, "L?rd, have mercy on us miserable e
sinners" in his turn made another blunde,
and read it as follows: 'tLord, have mer
on oDr rniserahla singers .,
BGFA midshipman asked priest to
him the difference between pi1es. md q \
jackass. The priest gave it up. "One wearaNl
q cross on his back and the other On T,;a I
breast" said the midshipman. Snow. .,,aaid
the priest, "teli me the difference between 3
midshipman and a jackass.'' The na.isnip.f
man gave it up, and asked what it vi ~
priest said he did not know of any.
APT ILLUsTRATIoNs.-"Th Dyr
party ought to have the American
its banner this election,' said an ho
lander, the other day. !. -
"Why e asked a bystander.
''Bekase you see the a.gle isn't dongit
headed burd, and the party is,'' was the Y
swer.
What would you put up in its plaa,
Pat?' rs''s
1.-TWO Kilkenny cats, bedsd."
~"Martba, does thee love mo ?', III
Quaker youth OF one at whose slrjya n,
hegrt's hottest feeling Lad been ,offez
"Why, Seth," answered she, ssw.g.;
manded TO leEa-aas- ia.1Qther: are
aye, Martha; but do58ll
with the feeling the world CAN
81 hardly know what to tell
have greatly feared that my heary
erring one. have tried to bestow 4
on all, but have sometimes though
haps, that thee was getting rather mo-
thy share."
A Too CoM1uNIcArlvE OnnD.- D.--~sthnn5
do you love me ?"
"Oh, don't |"
"What for g"
"Because you always bring me neaj =
when you come to see Sissy Jene.
some more"
And what does Sissy Jane low
NOh, cause you take her to co.ce1
give her SO many things. She says
as ycu are tool enough to bring lie
and bonnets, she won't sack you.-51
me some more candy" q
Cool OPERATION. - ssHallo, tSc
tings said a brother Jonathan TO. av
of canal packet on the Erie canal
do you charge for passage ~
"fhree cents per mile, and boardg
the captain.
| wall, guess III take passage, S11fi1I
seeing as how I'm kinder gin out val III
far"
According he got on board as 90 d.
was ringing the bell for dinner.
sat down and began demolishing Be-
to the utter consternation of th6F}6
until he had cleared the table ot III
eatable, when he got up and wei
picking his teeth very confortat
Glow far is it, captipg, fromhs
| got on board2'
"Neariy one and half M
captain.
LEES see,' said Jonati
be just four and ahaIf eentsy
| capting, won't be small; here is ff7S,sy
wh'ch pays my fare to here ghess TNe
ashore now I'm kinder rested, cent. e g
/ f - ~ "a \
/ CHURcHEs DYING OUr.-A 6et llsas pe9f1
/ the Parliament of Great Britsin nthoiS
the sale of soiae fifty chEr0hes,
churches have but about tl0dsand
I nicaHts in all and only about eis
attendants in all, while their
, one hundred thousand ID
each communicant.