Raftsman's journal. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1854-1948, 1860-05-16
HOW BARNEY GOT HIS WIFE.

| w ell, tnere lived an old woman some year.
ago at Musquish Creek, in South Carolina
that had large fortin and an only darter. She
was widder, miser, ,and a bunker. She wa.
very good and very cross, as many riteou:
| pious people are, and had loose tongue anG
atlght purse OF her own. All the men that
looked at her darter she thought had an eve
TO money, and she warn't far out of the way
mother, for it seems as if beauty and money
was too much to go together in generalway
hich gals and handsome gals are seldom good
Ior nothln' else but their cash or their looks
Fears and peaches are not often found on the
| same tree. tell you. She lived all alone the
| most, with nobody but her darter and her in
the house, and some old nigger slaves in hut
| near at hand; ard she seed no company she
! could help. The only place they went in a
| general way, was meetin and Jerushe never
missed that, for it Was the only chance she had
| sometimes to get out alone.
| Barney O'Balentine had a most beautiful
| voice and always went there, too, to sing a.
long with the gals and Barney hearin' of the
fortin Of Miss Files made up to her as fierce as
possible, and sang so sweet, and talked so
sweet, and kissed SO sweet, that he soon stood
| number one with the heiress. But he didn't
often get chance to walk home with her, and
when he did, she darsen't let him come in for
tear of the old woman. But Barney warn't to
be put off that way long. When gals in
one pasture and lover in another, its high
fence that they can't get over, that's fact.
"Tell you what" says Barney, sset up alone
IN the keep1n' room, Jerusha, dear, arter old
mother has gone to bed, put out the light,
and I'll slide down on the rope from the trap
door on the roof. Tell her you are exercised
in your mind, and want to mediate alone, as
the words you heard to day reached your heart.
Jerusha was frightened to death Almost but
what won't woman do, when lover is in the
way !? So that very night she told the old
woman she was exercised in her mind, and
would rastle with the spirit.
ssDo, dear,'' says the mother, ssand you
won't think of the vanties of dress and idle
company no more. You see how have given
them all up since. / have made profession,
and never so much as talk of 'em now, or even
think of 'em.''
esStrange, Square, amt it? But it is much
easier to cheat ourselves, than to cheat the
devil. The old hag was too stingy to buy a
dress, but persuaded herself it was ssbeing too
good to wear it.''
"Well, the house was a fiat rooted house,
am had trap door in the ceilin' over the
keepin' room, and there was crane on the
roof, with a rope to pull things up, to spread
out aia, isy there.
As socs as the lights were all out, and Bar
ney thought the old woman was asleep, he
crawls on the house, opens the trap-door, and
lets himself down by the rope, and he and Je-
rusha sat down on the hearth in the chimney
corner. courtin' - or, as they called it in them
diggin's, sRa1tn ashes. When daylight began
to show, he went up the rope hand over hand,
hauled it up after him, closed the trap-door,
and made himself scarce. Well, all this went
on as slick as could be for while, but the old
woman saw that her darter looked pa after
while, ,as though she didn't get sleep enough,
and there was no gettin' her up in the mornin'.
She got Uneasy after while, and would some
times get up in the night, and call her darter,
and make her go off to bed, and once or twice
come mighty near catchin' of 'em.
So what does Barney do, but takes two mig
gers with him, when he went after that and
leaves them on the roof, and fastens a large
basket to the rope, and tells them if they feel
the rope pull, they must hoist away for dear
life, but not to speak word for the world.
Well, one night the old lady came to the door,
as usual, and sais sJerusha, what on airth
ails you, to sit up all night, in that way =? Do
come to bed, that's a dear.'' ssPresently,
marm,'' sais she. ssI'm wrestling with the
evil, one, I'll come presently" Dear, DEAR"
sails she, 'syou have rastled long enough with
him to have throwed him by this time. If
you can't throw him now, give it up, or he
may throw you." ssPresently, marm,' sais
her darter. ssIt's always the same tune"
sails her mother, goin' off grumblin'-ssit's al
ways presently-what has got into the gal to
act SO? Oh, dear what pertracted time
she has on it. She has been sorely exercised,
poor girl.'
AS soon as she had gone, Barney larfed so
that he had to put his arm around her to study
him on the bench, in way that didn't look
unlike rompin' and when he went to whisper,
he larfed so he did nothin' but touch her
cheek with his lips, in way that looked
plaguily like kissin,' and felt like it too, and
she pulled to get away, and they had most
regular rastle as they sat on the bench, and
down went both on 'em on the floor with an
awful smash, and in bounced the old woman.
EsWhicb is uppermoSt, saiS she. ssHave you
throwed Satan or has Satan rhrowed you 20
81 have throwed him. sais her darter, esand
/ hope have broke his neck, he acted So"
s'Come to bed then, darlin," sais she, and say
a prayer afterward, and jist then the old
woman was seized round the waist, hoisted
through the root, and from thence to the crane,
where the basket stopped and the first thing
she knowed she was away up ever so far in
the air swingin' in large basket, and no soul
near her.
ssBarney and his niggers cut sticks in double |
quick time, crept into the bushes, and went
all round the road, just as day was breakin'.
The old woman was singin' out for dear life,
kicking and squealin,' and cryin' and prayin',
all in one, properly frightened. Down runs |
Barney, hard as he could slip, lookin' as inno-
cent as if he'd never heard nothin' of it, and |
pretendin' to be horrid frightened; offers his |
services, climbs up, releases the old woman,
and gets blessed till he was tired of it. ssOh!'
says the old woman, s'Mr. O'Balentine, the |
Jerusha, throwed the evil one, the |
house shook like an earthquake, and as 1 en- |
tered the room he grabbed me. Oh! shall
never forget his fiery eyelids, and the horrid |
smell of birthstone he had"
ssHad he a cloven foot and long tail ?''
says Barney. 81 couldn't see in the DARK
says she, ssbut his claws were orfu sharp, oh |
how they dug into my ribs. 1t enemost took
the flesh off here Lord have mercy on US |
hope he's in the Red Sea now.''
ssTell you what it is, Aupty ,, saws Barney