Cincinnati daily press. [volume] (Cincinnati [Ohio]) 1860-1862, 1860-09-11
DISMALISMs.
The science Of the ring-marriare.

Morning salutation of dead-heads-H
you bad chalk o'late2
Something no woman can hold-her
tongue. er rts nt4 tsaa ..
Women are much more frequently pos
sessed of the devil than of an idea.
-Mosquitoes are like law students--
anxious to be admitted to the bar.
MANY clever artists are never able to
draw a-gooG-sized. check. .I
THE two stages of consumption-in-
cough and coffin.
Marriage is no child's play, at least until
about year after its consummation.
"A spiritual tradesman--a dyer in the
hope of blissful Immortality.
-"Tm dying fer smile from thee" as
the topper said to the bottle Of brandy.
-"You be damned" as the miller said to
the water-course.
-Bill-posters practically obey the injunc-
ton; Stick to your business.
Executors of lynch-law must be of those
who, if an i(y) nch be given, take an L (Oll).
Life is not what we make it, but what
it makes us.
What many people call conscience is
only mental dyspepsia. ....
Charms and counter-charms-love and
marriage.
Though few women are inclined to Me-
taphysies, many Of them have a Locke on
the Understanding. c.,
What reason have we to suppose that
"Ophelia" was O young lady of ruaal tastes
because she lived in her Hamlet"
The voice of the orator which was
drowned in applause, has been rescued by
the bark of dog.
However national or patriotic negro
may be. he will always declare himself in
favor Of dis Union. -.
I'm this world, the offenses against Ma
ture are the least, and those against society
the most severely punished.
-''Riches rarely bring contentment" but
it should be remembered if they don't, pow
erty never does.
MANY wives initiate Cleopatra at the
banquet they dissolve the pearl of their
affection in the vinegar of ill-temper.
Apt quotation for husbands "Gentle.
men may cry peace, peace; but there is nc
peaceP ...- ... ....
What is it every body dislikes to lose
but once lost, no one desires to find?
character.
1t is the saying of an anonymous philos
| opher that no man can declare himself en-.
tirely fool until he is married.
-"Time is money" it is said; but those
who have most of the former, have usually
| the least of the latter
Persons aspiring to supreme power, hk
| poets, should not be crowned until afte
death. -
Men who endeavor to look fercely b,
cultivating profuse whiskers, must be hair
EN- scare-em fellows. ..tE ,.
ALLY young men are naturally enemies, ant
their animosity is usually proportioned Il
the amount of personal comeliness one o.
the other possesses.
-Blondin's feats at Niagara prove that b
would make good clearinghouse officer
he SO admirably regulates balances betwee
banks.
Masses for the repose of departed sou
must be very different from the masses o
election days; else, the most serene spiri
would become turbulent by the process.
-"Figures won't lie" is an old and homel
expression; but few men can look on fash
ionable woman's figure now-a-days, and sa
as much.
The sentimental youth who "bathed i
the fine ether of his mistress's presence,
has concluded to patronize regular batl
house hereafter.
The superiority of Nature over ScienC
is shown in the fact that while the latter hs
never made perpetual motion, the formt
succeeds in every creation of speakin
woman.