davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Alleghanian. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1859-1865, 1860-02-09

were with mud-were carefully taken
from his person and piled in a corner
Mordicai himself was plunged over head
and ears into hogshead of cold water.
Several split-brooms were then vigorously
piled about him; and what with the
drenching and the scrubbing, he was soon
efectually cleansed.
Whilst all this was in progress, Sunna
Vagun several times remarked to those
present: "Well, good friends, 1 have
known this man Mordicai for many years !;
but really this is the first time in my life
that [ ever saw him take the water"
Once out of the hogshead, Mordicai was
carefully rolled in a blanket, and again
put to bed. Sunna Tagun and all the rest
now looked anxiously for some signs of re-
turning consciousness.
They looked in vain,
Mordicai lay dormant,
Again was the venerable Doctor Quack
sent for. He soon came; and this time
held bottle of hartshorn to the nose Of
the ill-fated Mordicai.
1t was of no avail.
The venerable Doctor then struck a
match and held it to Mordicai's nose. But
the match died out, aud there was still no
sign.
The Doctor shook his head.
"What shall we do % asked Sunna Va
gun.
"Well, I suppose" said the venerable
Doctor, ''if We can't do any better, wen
have to let him die and be d-decently
inferred"
"But is there no hope?" asked Sunna
Vagun.
"None," said the venerable Doctor, as
he hurriedly left the room.
Sunna Vagun wept "Alas ~ he cried,
''alas, Mordicai AS the auctioneer wo'd
say, you've been a-going, going, going this
good while; and now guess you've gone
gone too, most likely, to the very low
est-bidder ~
Whereupon Sunna Vagun took nip.
The Alleghanian. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1859-1865, 1860-02-09
CHAPTER TX,

As drowning man will clutch at straws
to save his own life, so viii man clutch at
anything, however trifing, to save the life
Of another whom he loves. Sunna Vagun
had deep and abiding affection for Nor
dicai; and it was hard, nay impossible, to
bring himself to the sad reality that his
old friend and companion was now utterly
and emphatically defunct. Sunna Vagun
couldn't believe it. However much he
valued the opinion of the venerable Doctor
Quack, nevertheless, he still entertained
hope that Mordicai might yet be re-
stored, and in due course Of time, be able
to go a-hunting.
Sunna Vagun bethought him of rem
edy. That remedy was on the log-sled.
1t would either kill or cure, and he was
determined to see which
Sunna Vagun rushed wildly out of the
room.
The Alleghanian. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1859-1865, 1860-02-09
THRILLING TALE.
M0RDiCki AND SUKNA VAGUN;
OR,
The PerilS OF Hunting Deer out Of Season.
Founded on Fact.
By DIR. Hello VA FELO.
[coMMUNIcATIoN.
Office of the CaSh-Book, I
Newly ork, Feb. s, 1860. I


Newly ork, Feb s, 1860.
TO tie Publishers Of The 4Heghanian:
GENTLEMEN Il have learned with regret,
that one-horse paper, emanating from your
place, last week published several obscene
chapters, endeavOring to palm them off upon
the public as "the conclusion" of that most
interesting tale, entitled ''Mordicai and Sunna
Fagun'" 1t is quite unnecessary for me to
say that those chapters were entirely bogus
Were it not for the fact that the paper referred
tots scarcely ever read by any body, the publica-
ton IN question NIGH have atendency to iniure
me in my business, and at the same time bring
dscredit upon the illustrious DR.. Hello Va
Felo. You are aware that have secured the
copyright of this truly thrilling tale But
IN order to refute any false impressions that
the bogus publication may have brought
about, hereby authorize you to publish the
entire story.
With sentiments of the highest esteem,
l am, dear sirs,
Your obedient servant,
F. TOOTH COMBE,
Proprietor of the Cash Book
The Alleghanian. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1859-1865, 1860-02-09
Mode OF Taking Census.

The duties of this undertaking devolve
upon the United States Marshals, who ap
point their own assistants.
The General Government has in each
State or Territory one or more judicial
districts, with each OF which is connected
i Marshal, who acts as high Sher-
If in the District Court Of the United
States.
These Marshals are required by law to
subdiVide their districts, and for each sub
division to appoint an assistant, taking
care not to include a greater population
Coy estimate) than &c, 600 in any one sub
division.
The assistant having been qualified, by
oath, for the proper performance of their
duties, are furnished, through the Mar
shals, with blanks and instructions.
In the prosecution Of their work they
are required to make two copies of their
report The original returns are filed
with the Clerk Of the Court of each Coun-
ty, and the copies are forwarded to the
Marshall who transmits one copy to the
Secretary of the State for his district, and
the other to the Census Office at Wash
ingtOn. The compensation of the Marsh
al Is in proportion to the population emu
merated by his assistants should that
exceed one million, he is paid one dollar
for each thousand persons enumerated;
should the population returned by his as
sistants be less than one million. he re-
ceives the sum of one dollar and twenty
five cents for each one thousand persons
returned--a system of compensation suff-
ciently moderate, but which may admit
Of the payment of a greater amount for
lesser service, as in the case of a Marshal
whose returns include $50, 900 persons at
one dollar and twenty-five cents per thous-
and persons more than he whose returns
do not much exceed a million-an Unequal
ity not unusual rating fees for mileage and
other services
The assistants who perform the work
of enumeration are paid on a different
principle, combining in a novel manner
compensation for labor and travel, one
which was found to operate very fairly and
satisfactory to the employees and Govern
ment. His allowance is two cents for each
person enumerated for each farm, ten
cents; for each establishment Of productive
industry, fifteen cents; social statistics, two
per centum on the amount allow ed for emu
merating the population; and two cents for
each mortality return, with ten cents for
travelling expenses, to be ascertained By
multiplying the square root of the num-
Der of dwelling houses in his district by
the square root Of the number of square
miles in his division; from the product
whereof is to be derived the number of
miles travelled, and eight cents per page
for the two copies.
The Marshals and assistants in Cali
fornia, Oregon, Utah, and New Mexico,
under the operation of an amendment at
the discretion of the Secretary of the In
terror, which was determined by the addi-
ton of 100 per cent
The Alleghanian. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1859-1865, 1860-02-09

MORE EXPULSIONS FROM THE SOUTH
The EFFECT OF GUAEO-The Carlisle
(Pa.) Herald, says: Many Of our readers
are aware that several families, formerly
living in the lower part of the county,
have recently purchased land in one of
the counties Of Virginia where they have
settled in the peaceful prosecution of their
business One Of these men, Mr.. Jacob
Dorsheimcr, from Nechanicsburg, a few
weeks ago was hauling home a load of gu
ano; while driving along one Of the bar
rels was stove III the wagon, and a portion
Of the guano was strewn along the road
This was seen by seme pudding head, who
wisely imagined, from its dark color,
that it was powder, and immediately gave
the alarm that Dorsheimer was hauling
home powder, with the design of furnish
ing the slaves with ammunition for an in
surreetion
a committee waited on Mr.. Dorsheim-
er, who offered his explanations, and show
cd the guano. The committee after ex-
animation, reported that it looked ike gu
ano, it smelt Ike guao, is tasted like gu
ano, and that in short it was guano. and
cxcul 3ated Dir. Dorsheimer from anv in
surrectionary design notwithstanding the
report spread, and finally meeting was
held, and notice given to Dorsheimer and
all the Cumberland county men, to leave
the State in twelve days. Mr. d. has al
ready returned to Mechanicsburg wheth
or not the others will be permitted to re-
main is uncertain.
The Alleghanian. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1859-1865, 1860-02-09
TO BE CONCLUDED

IHE ARMIES OF EURoPE-Tdrr5
founding AagRitude and there THyrs5
t'remess,-It is now eighteen centuries :
a half since anew religion was pysss
ed to maukind-a religion full OF ga
and gentleness and mercy. On the-
when the founder of that religion
born, the peace of Europe was maintai..
by about three hundred thousand solfE
There are now about two million az.
half on the peace establishment. Pie-
to yourself what these two million a.
half cost Us, the peaceable inhabita1r
Europe, IN daily pay, in rations, IN q.
ing and IN housing. Go through ,Ls
calculations carefully. Your tim
hardly be better spent than in makia.
such accounts. Remember, too. that IL
unproductive soldiers might have h
productive laborers and artisans; St Z
you have to add the loss of their laI:;
the cost OF their keep. Try to ima..
these millions Of armed men defz-
without lntermission, in long array b5t-
you-the bright, alert, and readr-hara
trenchmen the stout. hardy Prussias
the welI-drilled Austrians the stalls
Danes; the gay Piedmontese the sur
Dutchmen; the much, long-coated RE
slans; the free-limbed, naughty. ds5a
Spaniards, and the cool. resolute. so.a
looking Englishmen. Bright summer is +
would wane away as this vast arm2nE
with all Its baggage and artillery, uo's
on before your wearied eyes and all NJ.
long the unwearied tramp Of men 8
horses would still be heard reSoundins~
Something like conception of the NJ
Der may be formed by considering thii
every man, woman, and child, to be tSrl'
III London and its suburbs. were tn
formed into solder, the number T's'
about represent the effective force Of na
alarms in Europe. Consider how z
most experienced Londoner losses his y
sometimes in that great city, and disc.
ers districts of which he knew nothE
before. Let him imagine these new !
glons, as well as those parts Of the ~.
with which he is familiar, to be sudd'':
peopled with soldiers only. Let hin =
only traverse the highways, but 60 u.
the houses, and see the sick and aged =
lnfantine, who seldom come into the stFs's
and let him persevere in imaSing tha
also to be soldiers, and London one hIs
camp. He viii then have some ide'
the extent of European armies, and ~
reject upon what it would cost TO i"
these unproductive millions for sA''
day-Frie'ads n Council, 2d Series
The Alleghanian. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1859-1865, 1860-02-09

full opportunity to let off her extra steam,
through those safety valves who represent
her, that Congress will proceed to bust
ness. Nearly nine weeks of the session
have already been squandered N fruitless
discussion, and we trust they will now en-
deavor to make up for the time thus lost.
The Alleghanian. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1859-1865, 1860-02-09
CHAPTER VIII.

No sooner had the Doctor taken his de-
parture, than Sunna Vagun, aided by sev
eral kind friends, proceeded to remove the
mud from Mordicai's eyes, ears and mouth.
The habiliments, too, in which Mordicai
was clad-soiled and bespattered as they
The Alleghanian. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1859-1865, 1860-02-09

denly opened, and little urcbin -, :
bearing in his arms a bundle
"Here, Mister Sunna Vagup is "
cai's cloze, an Nam sed 1 should ,on
she had heap O trouble to cit EN- q.
"All right, my lad :" said Sprn. :
gun.
can here's letter, too, that N.n
| should give ye," the boy contippe5
"All right; all right p said Sum, >
gun. "Now run home-that's
boy"
The little fellow hesitated, but o..
took his departure. As he cIo.s5 :
door after him, Sunna Vagun oI.n..5
the superscription, and discover, =,
the letter was intended for him ba o-.T
ly tore it open, and read as follows.
Jenyuerry the
70 Dollvy w. =
The Alleghanian. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1859-1865, 1860-02-09
CHAPTER yI.

As the first thing in order, Sunua Va
gun took slight nip of Doodendad. He
then dispatched to the washerwoman, the
habiiiments Of Mordicai, with express di-
rections that they should be 'done up"
and in readiness by day-break the next
morning
lie then proceeded to take nip.
This being attended to, Sunna Vagun
went out shopping, and added the follow
ing items to the stock OF provisions
l gallon whiskey
l pound glauber salts
II pounds sweitzer kase,
l bottle WhiSkey
] bushel sauer kraut
2 gallons whiskey-
l bushel fiatulent beans.
pairs trowsers.
l bottle whiskey.
All which articles, Sunna Vagun caused
to be taken home and carefully packed on
the log-sled for future reference.
Sunna Vagun next went to the stable
rubbed down the old horse, and gave him
sufficient supply of nutritious oats
Every thing about the premises being
properly secured and attended to, he then
walked deliberately to the house and took
& nip.
Entering Mordicai's room, he found
him still sleeping. Sunna Vagun then
INDUCED in yard of Bologna Sausage
took several nips-and smoked his pipe
lie then doffed his garments-put on his
night-cap-took nip-and went to bed.
And so fati-gu-ed was Sunna Vagun, with
the labors of the day, that he absolutely
fell asleep without saying his prayers.
Let the twain sleep. Little do they
know OF the future which awaits them.
The Alleghanian. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1859-1865, 1860-02-09
with a violent attack of win

with a violent attack of wind
collie, and began to bray most terrifhcally
Rushing into the mob, he dispersed it in
a trice.
The citizens became alarmed. The mil
itary were immediately called out, and a
volley of musketry fred at the jackass. 80.
The fire was. briskly returned, and the in
corrigible jackass took to his heels and
ran away.
But what of Sunna Vagun2
He had dismounted from the log-sled,
and gone to minister to the wants of Nor
dicai. Meanwhile the old horse (suppo-
sing doubtless that his master was still
aboard,) started off at a full walk, and
never stopped until he had landed himself
and the log-sled, with all it contained,
safely at Sunna Vagun's door.
The Alleghanian. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1859-1865, 1860-02-09
CHAPTER XII.

Daylight had not yet begun to streak
the eastern horizon, when Sunna Vaeun
rose from his virtuous sheets on the morn
ing OF the Sd, day of january, IS6o.-
Sleep had by no means changed his deter
mlnation to 90 a-hunting. He therefore
proceeded directly to the stable, and fed
and geared the old horse, preparatory to
an early start.
Returning to the house, he built on a
hre, and prepared breakfast. The repast
which he served up, was rough, but strope
the principal dishes being Bologna sau-
sage Sauer kraut and Whiskey.
just as Sunna Vagun was about TO
smuse himself with a nip, the door sud.
The Alleghanian. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1859-1865, 1860-02-09

Sunna Vagun folded the letter u c..
fully, and putting it in his pocket. t..
the bundle of clothes, and proceales
Mordicai's room. Mordicai still Ser
but being gently reused from his Sin
bers, he got up in ardent spirits. H.u
the very fellow to go-a-h-u-n-t-i-u'.
Through prudential motives, Sun1a r.
gun and Mordicai resolved to leave rr.
on this occasion without any public ds
onstration whatever; and as the UNI
jackass was nowhere TO be found, i d
agreed that all hands should ride OF !,
log-sled.
Everything being in readiness, Ngrllz
and Sunna Fagun partook Of q Ks
breakfast, and whilst the villagers we,s =
reposing upon their peaceful couches, Z
twain sailed forth on their perilou :.
venture.
Where they went-what bccaus
them-what they did-and what 4z
didn't-will be duly recorded in ths :
suing chapters.
TTO RF CONcTT-nF0
The Alleghanian. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1859-1865, 1860-02-09
CHAPTER VII

CHAPTER VII.
"But Mordicai . poor Mordicai p ex-
claims the reader. "What became of
Mordicai 2"
You shall know
have said, that after the iackass had
dumped him into the mud, Mordcai was
taken up in sad plight. Mud in his eyes,
he could see not mud in his ears, he
could hear not mud in his mouth, he
could speak not-neither could he drink
Mordicai was carefully gathered up,
placed on a wheelbarrow, and, amid great
lamentations, was conveyed to the house
Of Sunna Nagun. Here everything was
done for the ill-fated man which sympa-
thy for his unfortunate condition could
suggest. His mortal coil, now flexible as
dilapidated linen, was laid upon bed,
and medical aid was promptly called.
In moment the venerable Doctor
Quack was by the bedside. He looked at
Mordicai and heaved deep sigh.
There was an awful silence. All eyes
centered upon the venerable Doctor Quack.
The Doctor took off his gloves-rubbed
his brow-pulled out his watch-caught
Mordicai by the wrist--looked at his
watch-looked at Mordicai-looked round
the room-and then looked wise.
All was still silent All eyes still CEN
tered upon the venerable Doctor Quack.
For time, the Doctor seemed to be in
kind of revcrie: his mighty mind seemed
wholly absorbed IN deep, impenetrable, un-
fathomable, profound, mysterious thought.
Suddenly he dropped the patients hand
put by his watch and looked at the by
ISLANDERS. And as he looked, he seemed
to say:
81 consider the case little mixed; but.
If there is man in this world who can
restore the patient, / am that man
The venerable Doctor then approached
Sunna Vagun, and whispering something
into his ear, quickly left the room.
The Alleghanian. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1859-1865, 1860-02-09

The INTERNATIONAL PRIZE FIGHT.- h'
has arrived in England, in fine health, ~ J..
already at work in preparing himself i'' :.
encounter, which will decide the owner
of the champions belt Sayers lsft f@
training quarters on the lst of Fobruar,
The Alleghanian. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1859-1865, 1860-02-09

BE- The Teachers Institute, held here last
week, was large and we'll attended
The Alleghanian. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1859-1865, 1860-02-09
EPISODE.

That the reader may fully understand this
most interesting story in all its details, we
take great pleasure in rendering him some as
sistance in forming the proper connection be-
tween those chapters heretofore published,
and those which to follow. To do this
the more effectually, we reproduce here that
part of CHAPTER VI. at which the story was so
abruptly terminated.
The unfortunate Mordicai taken up in
sad plight. An infuriated mob assembled
in an instant. The jackass was rudeIy seiz-
cd
The Alleghanian. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1859-1865, 1860-02-09
| Rename yourn

OILY Nl5E
not he7in emmy paste about handy see, +.
with The wife of eg.
doant forgit to Civ 1t to pete. mean x
Dolla-'& %.
The Alleghanian. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1859-1865, 1860-02-09
to Polly Woggs. DR..

Abuv cend you A bill for yo-. ,
Gays washin his ldoze. du hoap The
man is moste Better. times is hard kTr-
like git in all sich little dribs. CeBsi. -
Pete if you ken. the Kloze was very -
look to u fur my pay mebbe yuls H..
charge Too much fur the trowzers. tr, -
was Very muddy in Side L | Geaerlr 49,
xtra fur That
, 1860-11-03
Roth u Crime and q RlundeFs

The politicians who are playing that desper-
ute game in which the last card il . property
panic, ere guilty not merely Of crimc, but If
. blnndcr: 10 independent observers, like
suit Of any election but that which is for tho
good Of ofaii-srectatoEs where Others are pa:t:-
sans--thc wjckcdness and folly Of their policy
are at once apparent.
It does not need much logic to prove 1t Z
crime, and eyents are fast compelling them to
confess 1t Z blunder Within the day Just past,
circumstance has come to our knowledge
which even these panic-makers cannot fail to
appreciate the significance Of,
Agcntleman OF this city, whose properly Is
counted by millions-one Of the yeritable
knickcTbockcrs-Dotedf for his thoroug IL g,o{us
conservatism in finance as well as politics,
who has hitherto always voted the Democratic
cned with q depreciation In value by this action
Of unscrupulous partisaus in his own party,
bolts outright, and declares bis intention to
vote for Lincoln. He does not believe any
more than We believe, that his Immense real
estate is to suffer aug depreciation, but he will
not, for fear Of it, be bullicd into voting even
the ticket which be has all his life long fa-
Tored.
He, for one, with al his vat interests at
stake, is willing. if necessary, to let worst
come to worst, SO tfla. now and finally there
may be m end Of this qualrennlal dlsunion
clanor- And so in spite Of being Democrat
be votes for Lincoln, rather than for his ftars
and fusion, and In this lie represents, nc cs'n-
not doubt, many men Of like mind and dlSpo-
sftlon.
The fact Is these ranic-makcrs have mlsta'
ken utterly tho character and temper Of the
American people. There Is not I foreign
nation having difference with us that would
blunder SO badly as to tty to bully us into any
concessions. With all tneir1ynorancc Of our
temper and our ways, they would not do so
foolish thing as these deprcciators Of prices
are doinE-trying to 1f;ghten whom they CAN
not cQuriucc-X l. HUHd,
, 1860-11-03

Il is retailcd privately and hin1ed in
handbills, that William L. Church, candi~
date for Clerk Of the Circuit Court, is q
"gainblcr."
Last spring aIr: Church, among other
reputable citizens was summoned before a
Grand Jury in this county, to testify rs to
what he. public man, knew OF gambling
in Chicago. lie sworc that he had no1
played card OF an; other game Of chance,
for money, in ten years! Mr.. Church is al
honest, crcliablc, Trustworthy man. ard
his oath squelchcs this gambling charge
which his enemies have gotten un.
But they will still continue to print it il
lying and anonymous posters and to insin'
nate il in their groy shop talk twill do nc
harm!
, 1860-11-03
THE CAT UfDHR THE MEAL.

The Republicans Of Cook county nrc SIM
ccrely desirons Of reducing the present too
t large fees Of several Of the county Offices,
and thcy wait only for tho meeting Of the
Legislature 10 put their notions into ahe
form Of law. The Bogus Democracy arc,
OF pretend TO be, very much exercised on
this matter; but Tc see scheme just
coneocted by one Of their candidates
GRAY, who wants the Clcrkslip Of
the Circuit Cou1t-~to keep the feca
Us they arc. -: BE proposes, Il
elected, as he won't be, to give half the
receipt. Of his Office to. the Orphan Asy-
lutns Of tl4is city. Let Us see how
this would work! The Democracy
say these receipts are $4,000 10 $4,000
per annurn. Now with BIZ: Gray the re-
cdpient Of these fees, when the contempla-
ted reduction to $4,000 is attempted, the
F.. ezy would he raised at once. mo, don't
"do that! you are robbing tic Orphan
"Asylums Of &1o, 900 n year Wait, wait ~
and every one Of these batant pro-slayery
men would join in, the fees would remain
Al *now, and this generous Gray would
pocket 5000 to. $4,000, every twelve
months as the reward for his "highly dis
interested and noble charity" The people
would foot the bill.
: BIO, that WON'T work. gentlemen! Re
duee the fess Of tle Office, let the Orphan
Asylums bc supported A. heretofore, ant
keep wholesale bribery out Of our politica
eontesta Is not that the why to do it.?
, 1860-11-03
THE TOWN TICKETS.

II Is not generally understood that the
ticket for town officers collectors, Asses
sors, Supervisors, etc., must be voted sep.
ara&ely and apart from the Presidential,
6tatc and County ticket Such is the fact.
Two boxes will be provided in each ward
-onc t. receive the ballots for town Off
GERS, aud the other for tho general ticket
These remarks apply only TO Cook county
in which the the time for holding elections
flown officers was changed By the Leg;s
1ature at its last session.
We would especially urge Republicans
to look well to these town tickets. II any
considerable number Of voters fail to de-
post their ballots for town officers stimuli
tancously with the Presidential ticket, tlle
pro~slayey candidates mar be elected
The peraeus nominated by the Republican
Convention arc faithful and competcn
throughout Let them NIL be elected =.