Cincinnati daily press. [volume] (Cincinnati [Ohio]) 1860-1862, 1860-10-08
Specially Written for the Cincinnati PREss and
fH-r Blue Monday.l F
DIS M ALIE MS,
The first dead-head-Abel.


When persons are bent on matrimony,
they are bent double.
"A Buckeye abroad-the Presidents
squirting optic.
Young kittens are said to be entirely
sightless; but they mus be only pur-blind
- Misery makes strange bed-fellows; but
marriage makes stranger ones still.
- Love--a theme for poets and o subject
for conversation.
- Domestic scenes - married persons
quarrels.
- The pleasures of memory is a poem;
the miseries of memory, fact.
The selfelected Speaker of the House
a woman.
Two things every one can do without
efort-die and get married.
Differences between the sexes-Men are
born, but women live, in sin.
The greatest regret of a woman's life is
that she is born undressed.
An effective sue-ing machine-a wife
begging her husband for a new bonnet.
- Honesty - according to cynic-A A
mythical virtue, that no one has, and in
which no one believes.
- Woman's repentance "a sentime ntal
ruse she employs to gain time to devise some
new form of sin.
- Why is common drunkard like man
opposed to noise? Because he is fond of
the still.
An example of human inconsistency.
However sore a travellers feet may be, he
never wishes to find foot-pad.
Financial pharmacy. However great
drug money may become, no one finds it
hard to take.
- Men who undertake to make a canoe
should scream aloud; because they can only
accomplish their work by following out.
Some persons say it is exceedingly easy
to get wife. We never knew any man to
get one without trouble.
The wickedness of the "softer" sex is
shown by the fact that the first word the
first woman ever uttered was adam Adam J
We hear much of conscience e-stricken
people; but usually its blows are so feeble as
to have no effect.
Gratitude, so called, is not thankfulness
for favors past but policy dictated by the
hope of favors to come.
-Delusion of the moment-the eteraal
devotion that woman declares for her
love.
Important to boot and shoe dealers:
how to create an advance in leather-insult
lady in the presence of gentleman.
The Prince of Wales should feel more
at home in Church than any where else, be-
cause he is the "Lord of the Isles (aisles)."
Chalk is often used on the shoes to pre-
vent persons from slipping up. A certain
class of people employ it on their hats to
enable them to slip on
Pauline in the "Lady of Lyons" talks elo-
quently of ''the crown the Bourbon lost"
That is nothing to the crowns Bourbon has
cracked.
Change in political complexion-it is
stated that the very blackest republican, on
hearing of the defeat of his party in any sec
ton of the country, will turn suddenly blue.
"A moderate amount of female affection
is not always to be rejected; but the devoted
love of woman is the greatest calamity
that can befall a man it paralyzes his will,
unsettles his purpose and destroys his fu-
ture.
The difference between Charles II and
Queen Victoria seems to be that while he
never said foolish thing and never did a
wise one, she never did foolish thing and
| never said wise one.
"A gay Lothario made proposal of af-
| fection to another mans wife, who assured
him she loved her husband too we'll to listen
| to his suit. The gallant consoled himself by
| telling her if she loved such wretch as her
| liege-lord, he should regard it as the highest
| proof Of her devotion if she would hate him.