Cincinnati daily press. [volume] (Cincinnati [Ohio]) 1860-1862, 1860-08-20
DISMALrSMS.

~ Cut-fAoNo thhAg-othtAtucs
C4sIaves of the ring lmareied ,wonep.',
The widows mitc--her deeepiiyearts. {,
7 a most unsatisfactory lease-77our po-liee.
--Au agreeable womhnA-sny ono but your
wife. rI tr r'ro af 'f
knights Of the gorter--henpecked hus-
bands. a. 80
The hight Of folly---a tall and brainless
woman. rH sa. s..ii a3 stl oi
The laws Of gsrrulous old dwomen--iaws
o mercy. -
What persons have the best aim in life2
Riiemen. 1850 sefF N llt4rr ar
--Undress usiform-1the prevailing style
of female fashions. .-
The best cure for drunkenness--tlie
water-cure. tsH .i.e r
= Asshort drive--when most people are
driven TO their wits end .-.,. q. d.
--Suicide--a rash step to be taken only as
q preventive of marriage.
= Things every lover should remember
those he learns by heart. -. s..s- =.
Motto for constablcs--Render unto seiz-
ers the things that are seizers'.
Brooks that ought, to dry up--the edi-
tors Of the New York Express. ra tsfo.f
= Book-keepers who are behind in their
accounts should partake freely of kctch-up.
The chill which in married life forever
bnnishcs the warmth of mutual love-chil-
drcn. t|
The thoroughly plebean phrase, putting
on airs, is now more elegantly rendered,
assuming artistic atmospheres. u rood ~
What is most agreeable for young
woman to give man and for him TO receiver
Her company.
What is the best course TO pursue toward
a man who gives you the lie2 Give it back
to him.
"A long suffering husband declares that
woman is never more interesting than
in illness, Except when she is dead. tl..
Lord Renfrew reads speeches written by
the Duke of Newcastle. II is little singu-
lar that the Prince of Wales can't spout. g..
The Irish are said to be fond of boasting
of their birth. Why should they not2 Are
they not all Pat-rieians.1i i9n so
People who keep running accounts
usually discover they can't keep up with
them.
= Couplet from Pope, for young wives:
"Thc soul uneasy aud confined at home, .i b
Rests and expatiatcs on u life to come.h 1fa-
Lovers who embrace beautiful mistresses
must, of necessity, be Intoxicated; they are
on glorious busts. '....
-WhateveropiniOn may be entertained of
marriage, no one can doubt that any man
who weds is Miss-taken. s, .a n
The paying and the praying business is
not nearly so far removed as outward cir
cumstances would often indicate. rs,
What is the difference between con-
tinual falsiier and aperson in sound sleepl
The one still lies, and the other lies still.
IF man desires to live in such man.
ner that his death will be greatly regretted
he should use all ordinary means to go gen.
orally in debt. .f-t r.0
"A man in town addicted to running in
| debt everywhere, assumes to be so sensitive
that whenever asked to pay bursts into tears.
He must be weeping willow. 4"
4 "A heterodoxist, who has listened to 0
great many sermons from clergymen of lsto,
expresses the opinion that D. D., after man
name, stands for devilish dull. f.a ID
1T seems singular that scoundrels use Sc
many devices to raise the wind. We should
suppose they would be afraid it would blow
ON them.
Why is lucrative Office with only nom-
inal duties more desirable to au invalid than
man in good health? Because it is sine
cure (sign o'cure.) 3
-"None but the brave deserve the fair''-
and they don't get them-It is fortunate
that. "Virtue is its own reward, for it OBJ.
tainsno other.
The first month of married life is sup.
posed to be called the honeymoon, because
all the sweetness of married life is com
pressed into it.
Those who dance must pay the fiddler
is now rhodomontadically rendered: Person:
indulging in Terpschorean amusements are
coerccd to extend the proper remuneration
to the artist who executes fantasia on the
violin. L. tgrns. sg ~ qsr.
Although we are told we can be happy
only after death, it seems inconsistent with
the teaching, that happiness should be the
sole thing we seek and can not obtain, while
death, which we always shun, we can no
o'oo' H.-i -'