Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1860-01-07
HOW JENKs JOINED THE ODD
FELLOWS. ~

all the energy ne could sustain.
| And you will join !? -.....
'Don't you think it best"
NO, sir, once for all, do not
| Consider, if you should be left widow
with nothing to support
Now what ridiculous argument Do
you suppose, Mr.. Jenks-
'Dy dear?'
Mr.. Jenks?'
will you listen for msment?
Certainly
well then, respect your wishes-and
you know love you dearly it will be i'm.
possible for me to oblige you in this in
stance. have sent in my document and
to night am to be initiated
Mrs. Jenks opened her handsome eyes
in amazement, and for a moment was lost
in wonder.
And so you are actually going to be
initiated?'
Yes, my dear
well, will you tell me al! about it when
you come home
Perhaps So
Comlorted with this assurance, the lady
offered ho further opposition, and our he
70 took his departure. About the hour of
eleven he returned, wiser, if not better
man.
WELL my dear exclaimed Mrs. jerks,
what did they do to you what is 1t like
were you much frightened-come, tell
me all about it?'
don't ask me, yravely returned our
friend, L beg you won't ask me.
why not? I'm your wife you know,
and wife aud husband are one. Why
not?'
.Hark ! said jerks, did you her any
,hing?'
mo, nothing
Silence, my dear. Remember what
| Shakespeare says about sermons in stones,
books in running brooks. If | should di
vulge ne might hear it,
who, my dear?'
Patriarch of the lost tribes. Even now
| he may be at our window
Mercy on u.s. eiaculat Mrs. jerks.
how you terrify body. I-l-l--shir
-shiyer all over.'
IF you don't want to be killed outright,
ask no more questions.
Surely you can tell me something about
it-an idea or two--that wouldn't be di-
vulging, you know
What if yov should, in an unsuarded
moment, let the secret out ?
oh, trust me, it will be safe ia my keep
ing
You will never tell ?
Never
Not even to your mother? You kaow
how gossipy some old ladies are
Il will never open my lips to her on the
subject
.Hark!' exclaimed jerks, with thea
trical start, hear you nothing
Nothing, repeated his wife, with un-
feigned alarm
It's only the wind, unused our friend
Il thought il might be the patriarch or his
grand bashaw, armed with his circumven-
tor, covered with curious devices OF the
order. Now listen, if you love me-tor
the sacrifice am about to make is great
and you must seal your lips for ever on
the subject.
well, my DEAR, said the lady with
long drawn sigh.
You have often heard Of the cat being
let out of the bag?
sYes.'
We'll. | saw that cat tonight
"A real live cat
yes, an immense cat ct that mon
strous cat. But you shall hear. You shall
know all. Let me begin at the begin
ming
That's right exclaimed Mrs. jerks
breathess with interest.
On my arrival at the Hall, was i'm
medately seized by about four dozen smart
fellows, and taken upon the roof of the
building. Here | was tongae-sied and
compelled to answer about hundred
questions, all having direct bearing on
the science Of astronomy
What queer proceeding, exclaimed
Mrs jerks.
How ! answered the questions, must
ever remain, suppose, a mystery to my
self--certain it is, however, did answer
every one-although l didn't know it till
to- night, there's a great dipper, and four
horse team, and don't know what else in
the sky. Is it not pity that this beauti-
full science is so sadly neglected 2
We'll. what then?'
well, the next question is too absurd to
be repeated.
What was it?
'They wanted to know whether took a
newspaper, and if SO, how much | owed
the printer. Fortunately, had just then
paid nv subscription, otherwise | must
have been rejected, as no man can become
an Odd Fellow who owes cent to the
Printer"
We'll, I never : exclaimed Mrs. Jen1s,
what an influence those newspapers do
exert, to be sure.
Exactly. But scarcely had l answered
salts sfactorlly, when an immense flame shot
up and we as quickly shot down."
what, through the roof?'
oh, no, suppose we took the stairs
but was so securely bound aud tongue.
tied, hardly know how we got down.
| The apartment into which | was ushered
was pitch dark, aud \ strong odor of brim-
stone prevailed the ROOM
birthstone, my love
yes, it must have been birthstone. for
nothing could have produced such sti-
fling sensation
We'll, Of all things !
Then began the roar Of artillery, with
an occasional volley of small arms. Ia
the midst of the tumult, ! heard low,
sweet voice, chanting hymn Of peace
! "Man shalt love his fellow, sang the an
gel-"Cruel war shall be ragged no more
peace shall reign---slavery shall perish
industry shall meet its reward charity
! Gil the hearts of men" When this happy
singer had ceased, loud cry for cheap
postage rent the air.
How very odd
Yes; but jus. like those Oh! Fellows,
they are real refo-mers, replied our
/ friend.