The Oxford intelligencer. (Oxford, Miss.) 1860-18??, 1860-08-01
CHIPS FROM AN OLD BLOCK.

That word had in my youthful earsl
And how, each time the day came round. 81.
Less and less white its mark appears!
When first our scanty years are told,
1t seems like pastime to grow old
And as Youth counts the shining links, q
That Time around him binds so fast,
Pleased with the task, he little thinks
How hard that chain will press at last, ' ga
A QuAKER had his broad brimmed hat
blown of, and he chased it for long time with
ffuitless and very ridiculous zeal. At last see
ing a roguish-looking boy laughing at his disas
ter, he said to him, Art thee profAne lad y
The youngster replied that he sometimes did a
little in that way. "Then" said he, taking a
half dollar from his pocket "thee may damn
yonder fleeing tile fifty cents worth"
AS clergyman was performing the funeral
service, a woman came and pulled him by the
sleeve in the middle of it. "Sir, | must speak
to you Immediately" swell, then, what is the
matters" "Why, sir, you are going to bury
man who died of the smallpox near my poor
husband, who never had it," .....
The Chinese of the present day are said to
have lost curious secret They knew formerly
how to paint their porcelain with fishes, and
other creatures, in such manner that these
figures never appeared to the eye until the vases
were filled with liquor.
WHEN DIR. II. and Serleant A. were walking
arm-in-arm, wag observed to friend "Those
two are Just esHai to one highwayman." "Why
sog" was the response "Because," rejoned the
wag, sits lawyer and doctor-your money
or your life"
THAT Was very learned and thoughtful
Mayor of Shrewsbury, to whom Lord Mansfield
remarked at dinner, "Your town appears very
old" To which his honor, the Mayor replied,
"It was always so, please your Lordship,"
"A dandy is thing that would
Be a young lady il he could;
But since he can't, does all he can
To let you know he's not man."
Tue ex-President of the Conundrum Club
perpetrates another atrocity, viz: "What is that
which no man wants, which if any man has, he
would not part with for untold wealth." Answer
A bald head.
"Do you know" said a friend to Jerrold,
. that Jones has IeGt the stage and turned wine
mcrchantl" "Oh, yes Jerrold replied, "and I
am told that his wine off the stage is better than
his whine on it."
TIE Trade Report is kind enough to inform
us, that tallow remains firm. Weare extremely
glad to hear it, as we must say that the smell of
taow on hot melting day is any thing but
agreeable . .. .....
IT is told us by DIR. Livingstone that the youth
of South Africa are not permitted to marry a
wife until they have killed rhinooeros, and en-
dured public whipping which scars their backs
for life.
"ONE word more, and have done" How we
dread to hear this sentence from the lips of a
speaker at public meetings. 1t is always sure
indication that he is bracing up for fresh start
The man who plays at once on the trump of
fame and the horn of dilemma got his first
idea Of music from hearing hay-oock crow,
while he w>s tying knot in cord of wood.
LORD BYRox once said, "You never know a
mans temper until you have been imprisoned on
board of ship with him, or woman's until you
have married her"
A BOY was recently arrested for theft. His
father pleaded guilty for him. but said, in ex-
tenuation, "James is good boy, but he will
steal"
A MAN who avoids matrimony on account of
the cares of welded life, is compared to one who
would amputate leg to save his toes from
corns.
AYour1, with a turn for figures, had five eggs
to boil, and being told to give them three minutes
each, boiled them quarter of an hour altogeth-
er.
THERE is Quaker at Manchester who is such
an advocate for peace that he will not have
clock in his house because it strikes.
GOOD way to prevent the smell of cooking
in house-TIave nothing for breakfast and
warm it up for dinner and supper.
QuI1s are things that are sometimes taken
from the pinions of one goose to spread the
opinions of another.
THERE is a man at Brixton SO fat that child
was recently killed by his shadow falling upon
it, - .-....-.-.
A CHIxANAS has made the discovery that a
donkey cannot hee-haw when aweight is tied to
its tail
HIS that can please nobody is not so much to
be pitied as he whom nobody can please.
TEE lady who took everybody eye must have
quite lot Of 'en.
WY is dandy lkea venison steak? Because
he's bit of buck.
DIvoRcE-Cutting for fresh partners.
FAcTs PoR RPARENTs-A number of physicians,
practising in New York and Brooklyn, having
g gcompared notes, have come to the conclusion
that one leading cause of the great mortality
among children arises from their being left too
much to the care of servants Ithas been observ-
ed that children who are taken care of by their
-uBdressed and put TO bed by them, and
by them dressed in the morning and kept under
loving mothers eve during the day-are, as
general thing far more healthy, goOd-tempered
4. Al. Il Ia. a.