davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Buchanan County guardian. (Independence, Buchanan County, Iowa) 1858-1864, 1860-05-09
QUASQUETON HOTEL,
Brick Block. Main Street. Quasqucton, Iowa
A. p. BURRHUS. PROPRIETOR,

NRAyELERS WILL FIND AT THIS HO-
i tel Good accommodations md courteous at
tention. Teamsters kept at regular rates.
August |, 1859. t3-20-ly
The Buchanan County guardian. (Independence, Buchanan County, Iowa) 1858-1864, 1860-05-09

~ PaoMrr ATTENTION PAID TO COLLECTIONS
,my26 59-lyl
The Buchanan County guardian. (Independence, Buchanan County, Iowa) 1858-1864, 1860-05-09
FAIRBANK HOTEL.

Corner Of Second and Grope Streets.
FAIRBANK. BUCHANAN COUNTY, Iowa
j. MYERS, Proprietor.
TRAVELLERS WILL FIND AN EXCEL
l. lent Larder, good attendance. first rate
stAbling, and reasonable prices at this Hotel.
Jan. l2. 1860 (6m
The Buchanan County guardian. (Independence, Buchanan County, Iowa) 1858-1864, 1860-05-09
d. ALLEN,

4 TToRNEY AT LAW.
"A CEDAR FALLS,
Blackhawk County. Iowa
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1860-05-16
Good Advice to Young Women.

Trust not to uncertain riches, but
prepare yourselves for every emergen-
cy in life. Learn to work, and be not
dependent on servants to make your
bread, sweep your floors, and darn
your own stockings. Above all, do
not esteem too lightly those honorable
young men who sustain themselves
and their aged parents by the work of
their own hands, while you caress and
receive into your company those lazy,
idle poppinjays who never lift finger
to help themselves as long as they can
keep body and soul together, and get
funds sufficient to live in fashion. If
you are wise, you will look at this sub
ject in the light as we do, and when
you are old enough to become wives
you viii prefer the honest mechanic,
with not a cent to commence life, to
the fashionable lOafer with a capital of
ten thousand dollars. Whenever we
hear it remarked, Such q young lady
married fostune," we always tremble
for her futute prosperity Riches left
to children by wealthy parents turn
out to be a curse instead ola blessing.
Young women, remember this, and in
stead of sounding the purse of your
lovers and examining the cut Of their
coats, look into their habits and their
hearts Mark if they have a trade,
and can depend upon themselves-see
that they have minds which will lead
them to look above butterfly exist
ence. Talk not of the beautiful white
skin and soft delicate hand, the splen-
did form and fine appearance of the
Young gentlemen. Let not these
foolish considerations engross your
thoughts.
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1860-05-16
VOLUME 2, NUMBER 80.
Energy.

1t is astonishing how much NAV be
accomplished in Self-cuIture by the en-
ergetic and the persevering, who are
careful to avail themselves of oppor-
tnnities, and use up the fragments Of
spare time which the idle permit to ran
to waste. Thus Ferguson learned as
trosomy from the heavens while wrap
ped in sheepskin on the highland
hills. Thus Stone learned mathemat-
les while working as joarneyman gar
dener; thus Drew studied the highest
philosoph, in the intervals Of cobbling
shoes thus Miller taught himself ge-
ology while working as a day labOrer
in a qnary. BY bringing their minds
to bear upon knowledge in its varying
aspects, and carefully using up the very
odds and ends of their time, men such
as these, in the very humblest circum-
stances, reached the highest culture,
and acquired honorable distinction
among their fellow-men. 1t was one
of the characteristic expressions of
Chatterton, that God had sent his
creatures into the world with arms
long enough to reach anything, if they
chose to be at the trouble.
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1860-05-16
Can't Come on Deck.

AS an omnibus, chartered by par
ty of sailors for the purpose of visiting
Jones' woods, was passing through
Division street, New York, on Mon
day last, it was stopped at the corner
Of Market street by an Irishman and
his Biddy, who insisted upon being al
lowed to get in. The sailors were
opposed to this Infringement on their
rights although the greater number of
them had clambered up to the roof,
upon which they sat in the broiling
sun to enjoy the prospect. The driver
tried to explain to the Irishman that
the omnibus was engaged ; he would
understand nothing, but kept reiterat-
ing Isn't it an omnibus This is
free country If you don't let us
in sure I'll have the law of yez. -
Tired of the fellows pertinacity, the
spokesman of the sailors, after turning
his quid several times, exclaimed :
+" Let the lnbbers into the hold, but
Pm blowed if they shall come up on
deck |"
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1860-05-16
A Pathetic Obituary.

The State of Indiana has recently,
by death, lost one of its citizens-Mr.
james Bangs. We find an obituary
notice of him in a Hoosier paper -
MIsTUR EDATUR :-Jem Beings, we are
sorry to staff, is desized. He depart
ed this Life last munday. Jem Beings
was generally considered a gnd feller
He dide at the age of % years Old
He went 4th without airy struggle, &
such is Life. Tu Day we are as pep
per grass-mity smart-to Morrer we
are cut down like cowcumber of the
grownd Jem kept anice store, which
bis wife now waits on. His virchews
was numerous. Menny is things which
we bot at his growcery, and we are
happy to staff that he never cheeted,
speshully in the wait of mackrel, which
was nice and smelt sweet and bis sur
viyin wife is the some wa. We never
new him to put sand in his shugar, tho
he had big sand bar in front of his
house, nor water in his Lickers, tho
the Ohio River run past his dore.-
Piece to his remanes.
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1860-05-16
The --LATEST.

During the Summer of 1849, says
the Knickerbocker, corn being scarce
in the country, and one Of the citizens
being hard pressed for bread, having
worn thread-bare the generosity of
the neighbors by his extreme laziness,
they thought it an act Of justice to
bury him. Accordingly, he was carri-
ed to the place of interment, and be-
ing met by one of the citizens, the
following conversation took place:
Hollo, what have you got there 2"
"Poor old Mr.. S"
"What are you going to do with
him."
"Bury him."
What! Is he dead ? / had not
heard of it."
"No, he's not dead, but he might
as well be, for he has no corn and is
too lazy to work for any"
"That is too cruel for civilized peo-
pie, I'll give two bushels of corn my
self rather than see him buried alive. !"
Old S. raised the cover and asked,
in dragging tone:
!" Is it S h e lie d? z"
" No, but you can shell It,"
Drive on boys"
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1860-05-16
A Man Pleads His Own Case

One of our Philadelphia exchanges
says -" In the Quarter Sessions, on
Wednesday, man named Pierce Kit
chen was tried for an assault and bait
terry upon his wife. She couldn'tswear
that her husband had ever struck her,
but swore that he INDUCED in whisky
and failed to support his family. The
defendant, who pleaded not guilty, said
that the lawyers were humbngs, and
informed the court that he would plead
his own case Mr.. Kitchen spread
himself, and made speech. He faced
the jury and went through the motions
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1860-05-16
Secret of Unhappy Homes.

Why goes forth that man this Sat
urday evening from the roof under
which his children live ? Why turns
he from the engaging little attempts to
detain him, and roughly moves them
away, while he loves them dearly p
Why sits another by his fire, sullen,
discontinued, unwilling to speak the
kindly word, while his heart is yearn-
ing for converse and enjoyment Why
flies the crual speech to her for whom
the bosom's strongest affection is nour-
ished And why, searching into deep
depths, why does man become so often
tyrant, so often a criminal in his
home ? Truth has to be told; but
oh listen to it kindly, for it is hard to
tell. 1t is because woman does not
truly appreciate her mission to domes-
tic life. Under the present conditions
of existence, she has become weighed
down by cares. As wife she is diff
ferent to what she was as q mistress.
She is ever employed in drudgery for
children and household. She neglects
her dress. forgets her manners. Her
husband sees the change, does not,
perhaps, find sufficient excuse for it
from the conditions she labors under.
He flies to the tavern and billiard ia
BILE and she increases in sourness and
asperity as she increases in years -
That much of this is owing to the pre-
sent circumstance of social life is true !:
but that much of it is chargeable to a
sad submission to those circumstances
is also but too true 1t is more or less
in the power of woman to make their
domestic life more attractive to their
husbands, and more holy in its disci-
pline and ends than they now do. A
great regularity in time--a great sim
plicity in dress-a more determined
adherence to that which is right in
ones own eyes, rather than that which
is well thought Of in the eyes Of Others
an orderly apportioning of various
periods for different occupations
would make evenings at home pass
away very differently to what in the
great majority Of cases they are now
doing.
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1860-05-16

a favorite hobby of the Squire's and
he was an adept in the art. On one
occasion, when he vas summoned as
witness before q State Court, one Of
the lawyers undertook to pay him off
in his own coin. When the Squire
took the witness stand, the following
] dialogue occurred:
What is your name, sir ?"
"Peter lizard"
How old are you, Mr.. Lizard ~
+" My name is Izard-Peter lizard. y
81 beg your pardon, Mr.. Gizzard,
but am little hard of hearing this
morning."
lizard, sir, Izard."
All, / understand. Well, Mr..
Buzzard, how old are you ~
+" Now look here, mister, that's not
my name, and l wont answer"
You wont answer my question,
Mr.. Taizzle, we'll see about that
Now, sir, what's your age, Mr. Dir
zle %
The witness maintained logged
silence.
Perhaps he had better spell his
name for you," said the court, almost
choking with laughter.
Aye" said the witness, I" Led
ay -arde 7,
+" Well, your honor, ] called him by
that name all along-W Weasel"
"Any fool might know that it spells
lizard, "shouted Peter.
May it please the court, "interposed
the attorney, throwing himself up in an
airo of wounded dignity, either this
witness, Measles, must be removed, or
shall withdraw from the barr
"You rascal |" beloved the infuria.
ted Peter
Sheriff, take charge of the wit
ness" cried the court, sitting for a
moment its ,mirth, for the only sober
faces in the assemblage were those of
the lawyer and the witness.
You be hanged !" called out
Squire lard" yon and the court,
too, you 1ow-lived yagabond |"
A mittimus to the jail for three
days, and $25 fine !" cried the court.
Here the Sheriff came up to Peter
to carry him off.
What's my name, Tom ~ called
out the Squire as he was led out.
Peter lizard, - was the response.
The Squire was pardoned, and his
fine RENTED but never afterward did
he attempt to use the weapon that had
been so effectually turned on himself.
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1860-05-16

in manner that would have done no
ttiscredit to- any of our best Quarter
Sessions practitioners. He informed
the jury that, having failed to prove
that he ever laid an angry hand upon
his wife, he couldn't possibly be con-
victed of an assault upon her. AS to
the other charges he pleaded justifica-
ton. Mrs. Kitchen, gentlemen of
the jury said Mr.. Kitchen, is men,
Der of church. Mrs. Kitchen for
sakes her kitchen, and spends half her
time in the church lecture room
While my breeches are running to seed,
and the children going about with i'll
kept noses and dilapated extremities,
Mrs. Kitchen is INDUCING in confab
with lot of old ladies abont the shock
ing nudity of the South Sea Islanders.
While willing to provide for her, gen.
t'emen OF the jury, amt Wiling to
feed all the brethren of the church, nor
to give Bohea parties to twenty peo-
pie twice week, neither. If I'vegot
tight on the strength of such p-ovoca-
ton, gentlemen Of the jury. it amt a
bit more than the best of you would
have done if placed in my circum-
stances and if you was me, and | was
you-knowing the case as T do-I'd
render verdict of acquittal and served
the woman right Having said this,
Mr.. Kitchen discontinued the subject,
and the jury, placing their heads to-,
gether rendered verdict of Not
Guilty.'n
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1860-05-16

the catastrophe. An instant she hung
upon the crest of wave, as in dread
then plunging forward, settled in the
water. There was no shock. Again
she rose and fell, and still the expected
crash was delayed-the water was
perceptibly deepening.
"She is over I" shouted the cap
tain.
"She is over /" cried the men, ex-
ultingly, +" She is over !"
"Stand by to shorten sail there for
ward /" vociferated the mate. The
order was obeyed with remarkable
promptitude. A strong puff of the
still rising gale swept through the rig
ging. There was rending crash, and
the fore-top mast and lower studding-
sails, bursting from their bolt-ropes,
few far away to leeward like white
gulls; the lower swinging boom came
In against the rail with loud bang,
and the ship, relieved from the unusual
strain, held on her course with easier
motion, though with diminished speed
All eyes are now turned upon the
frigate, which, less than two miles a.
stern, was dashing onward through
the foam, with her snowy canvas and
towering spars-a gallant sight, in
deed. A short fifteen minutes brought
her to the spot where the ship had
struck +; but that fifteen minutes was
of the utmost Importance. The tide
was falling, and the frigate drew more
water than the ship. AS she neared
the bar, it was evident that they were
becoming aware of the danger the
studding-sail gear and the top-gallant
sheets and halyards were let go by the
run, and with everything flying, the
yards were braced sharp up, and the
vessel hauled on the wind.
But their precautions were taken
too late. Rising on the heaving swell,
she rolled to lee-ward and sinking in
the trough, struck heavily broadside
on the bank, pitching her three masts
over the side, and fairly dragging her
bowsprit out by the roots. The next
wave swept her over the bank, and
she lay wallowing in the trough of the
sea, with her hull unchanged, but
with never spar upon which to stretch
an inch of canvas.
The frigate was now fain to beg as
sistance from the vessel which she so
lately hoped to make prize, and gun
after gun flashed through the twilight,
and doomed over the waters, but It is
treason to render aid and comfort to
the enemy in time of war, and the ship,
hauling on the wind, stood full and by,
for a Yankee town on taut bow-line.
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1860-05-16
guet's sgnnk.
iron THE PREss,l
Hattie
BY KATE W.

Oh Hattie, sweet Hattie, why sIespe thou Sc
long?
Say, nearest thou 'not;yon wild birds sweet
song
AS sweetly he sings in the foliage above,
Where thy dear head is pillowed so lowly, my
For all the day long hath his low mellow trill
Mingled joyfully its music with yon murmuring
rill,
Yet unheard and unheeded it falls on thine ear
For still thou artsleeping, my loved Hattie dear
The rose in its beauty hath bloomed on thy bed
And moonbeams have cleaned on the stone at
thy head,
Yet the roses bright beauty now. pleadeth in
vain,
For Hattie, sweet Hattie, to waken again.
And hitler in grief, my love, have come
Lonely hearted, to kneel by this cold marble
stone,
To gaze on the spot where they've lain thee tt
rest,
And dream thee an angel, above with the 6lest.
Pana, Illinois.
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1860-05-16
Squire Of the Olden Times.

There fourished for many years in
the good old State of Tennessee, an
eccentric fellow, who rejoiced in the
name of Peter lizard. For many years
he filed the important Office known in
many parts Of the Union as magis-
trate, alderman, or justice of the peace.
The following is a sample of Squire
Yards mode of proceedings:
A gentleman by the name of Nc
Murran was riding through G.,
when his horse lost a shoe. For re.
placing it, the blacksmith, whose
name was Enos Bildo, charged the
cool sum of an eagle, or two soyer-
eings. Naturally indignant, our travel
er refused to pay such exorbitant de-
mand, and he was thereupon arrested
at the suit of the son of Vulcan.
There being no other resource, Nc
Murran was escorted to the magis-
trate's Office, back of the bar.
After being introduced to the most
august presence of the Squire, and
the charge stated, the following dia-
logue ensued:
Well, sir, what is your name p
McMurran, sir ?"
"Humpb, Mr.. McMurran-havt
you no ether name p
+" John McMurran, sir"
f" No, Mr.. McMurran, no alias p
"Of course I have not, sir; l have
no need for one "
!" Where doyou live, Mr. Carrion p
"My name isn't Carron-I told
you it is McMurran.
Well, Mr. Murton, did you make
any bargain for shoeing your horse 2
"No, SIR"
Then, Murton, you acted, sir
excuse me-like fool I"
81 don't come here to be insulted
sir, and no man shall talk so to me y
cried poor Mac.
II know you did not, Mr.. Fultor
keep silence, or I'll fine you; you
acted, sir-don't contradict me-like {
perfect foel; and let this be warning
sir, never to trust such scoundrel al
Enos Bildo, the smith, farther thar
you can sling bull by the tail, sir
Ito the plaintif,) | mean you, yot
skunk You'd steal the coppers of
your dead mothers eves-you poor
no-souled hog.
The sentence of this court is, that
you, Enos Bildo, shall have two dimes
for your work, which is all it's worth
and if you say another word I'll knock
you down. Clear this court. 2
Fully satisfied with this verdict
and highly amused with this adven-
/ ture, Mac went on his way
/ This way Of confounding uames wa:
4
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1860-05-16

PosING A PEDAGoGUE - " Sally
Jones, have you done the sum | SCI
you?n
No, thir, can't do 1t.
Cant do it!-I'm ashamed of you,
Why, at your age | could do any sun
that was set me. | hate that word
can't for there is no sum that can't
be done, | can tell you.
think, thir, that | lnowth a sum
you can't thifer out "
Ha well, well, Sally. let's hear
it.
It 18th thith, thir; If one apple
cauthed the ruin of the whole human
rath. how many thuteh will it take to
make a barrel Of thweet thider, thir "
Miss Sally Jones you may turn
to your parsing lesson. :
6 l1eth, thir.
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1860-05-16
g9gistellang,
THE CHASE.
BY FRED. w. SAUNDERS.

i" 1t is white as milk, sir Z" exclaim-
ed one of the men, rushing into the
cabin in a high state of excitement.
" What is white as milk 2" asked
the captain, WAC, together with the
chief mate, stood compass in hand,
porting over chart that lay spread
ont upon the table.
/" The water along side, sir. I think
we must be shoaling very rapidly"
=" And we must go over it?" said
the mate, inquiringly.
eyes, or lay our bones upon it." re-
sponded the captain. "But come, let
us go On deck. 1t is useless looking
at the chart any longer; we know our
position only too WE'LL"
Ascending the companion ladder,
the sailors statement was verified, the
water all around presented that pecu-
liar appearance which indicates san
dy bottom at no great depth; while
the ship, under cloud of canvass, was
flying through the foam with the speed
of racer. The crew was grouped
about the deck with anxious faces as
they looked ahead, where, at dis
lance of less than three miles, heavy
frigate with the blood red cross of ST..
George at her peak, was steadily and
relentlesSly pursuing, like a blood
hound on the trail.
81 think she has gained upon us
slightly since we went below, Mr.. Mid
ships" said the captain, addressing
bis first mate.
" | think she has somewhat; but
not SO much but that we might keer
out of her way until night, when we
could easily dodge her in the dark, il
it were not for this COMPOUNDED bank, ,
returned the mate, with an anxious
look ahead. II never crossed this
shoal but once and then, although
we were in light schooner, drawing
less than half the water we do now, il
was narrow escape for US. 1t is my
opinion we must strike before we arr
half way over"
" Well" replied the captain, will
an air Of fixed determination, if W.
must strike there will be an end of it
The only alternative is to surrender t
an Englishman and then comes the
prison ship, starvation, disease, anc
death. If she strikes, let her strike.
BY running there is at least a chance
and shall trust to that chance sooner
than surrender"
"They are going to try the range 0
their bowchasers, reckon" said tn,
mate, directing the captains attention
astern.
A slight commotion was Observable
upon the frigate's forecastle the muz
zle of gun protruded from her bridl
port cloud of thick white smok
shot in circling ring from beneatl
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1860-05-16
BY s. G. H.

Half in bloom, like rosebud
That's torn from its stem,
By the chill winds of Winter,
Our Renna has gone.
As the light notes of bird,
When the flowers are in bloom;
Late her sweet voice was heard
Now she's deck'd for the tomb
Thus life's shadows DER us,
Fit ever the while,
And the sweetest fade soonest,
Lest this earth should defIe.
Yet wen weep not in sorrow,
Since her spirit has flown,
On the pinions of light,
Only up to her Home.
But wen rather think DER us,
Her cherub wings play,
To cheer and to guide us,
Along her bright way!
Milford, April %, go.
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1860-05-16
Scraping up the Gold.

At convention of clergymen, not
long since, it was proposed by one Of
the members, after they had dined,
that each should entertain the com.
pany with some remarks. Among the
rest, one drew upon his fancy and re-
lated dream. In his dream he went
to heaven, and he described the golden
streets, the river of life, etc. As he
concluded, one of the divines, who
was somewhat noted for his penurious
and money saving habits, stepped up
to the narrator and inquired loosely :
Well, did you see anything of me
in your dream ~
Yes, / did"
Indeed ! what was | doing p
You was on your knees"
Praying, was | z"
No-scraping up the gold !"
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1860-05-16

is stated that Mr.. Marble lately
married a Miss Stone. The marriage
took place in the Granite State, and
the nuptial knot was tied by Mr.. Flint.
That, undoubtedly, was a new plan
for Marbelizing Stone.
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1860-05-16

We know beautiful girl, who would
prove capital speculation for for
tune-hunter of the right sort. Her
voice is of silver, her hair of gold, her
teeth of pearl. her cheeks of rubies,
and her eyes of diamonds.
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1860-05-16

A client once bursted into a food of
tears after he had heard the statement
of his counsel, exclaimed I did not
think | suffered half SO much
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1860-05-16

The most influential man, in free
country at least, is the man who haa
the ability, as wen as the courage, to
speak what he thinks when decision
may require it.
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1860-05-16
iron THE PREss.I
Lines

Suggested on the sudden death of Renna, only
daughter of Mr.. Jacob Weaver, lovely little
girl, aged years and months, After two
days severe illness, she, the idol of her parents
and beloved by all, fell asleep. May ours be as
trannniIt
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1860-05-16

Tax man who wrestled with adver
sity, wore out his silk stockings and
got worsted.
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1860-05-16

The highest aud most characteris-
tic glory Of all earthly beauty is TO
make us aspire to heavenly one and
a woman is great in proportion to the
ideal she suggests
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1860-05-16

The coat ola horse Is the gift Of
nature. That Of an ass is often the
work Of q tailor.