Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1860-06-23
$3.50 4 YEAR
Fact, Fancy and Cun.

GeHuiHe Sooiies: LSGulm2UX.
Fashion for this Season: Spring
Skirts.
The Main Plank in all Platforms
Plank Down.
The easiest thing for negro 10
! do: Keep Dark.
Name fer Conductor on horse
Railroad: Oscar,
A tortoise has been known to live
to tne age OF lo7 years.
Home comprises al the space that
women should shine i'll.
Why IS 4 tooth drawn like a thing
forgotten? It IS out Of the head.
1t IS poor heart which Hope can
not find something to feed upon.
What money brings the most sub
stantiaI interest? Matri-money.
The man who wears pegged boots
always has "Allsic IN his soIe''
w Wi.at the Dramatic Artist is ex-
pected to do: Draw Coed Houses.
- Motto for the Opponents Of tho
''Two Shilling Candidate :" No guar
ter!
The heart is book whichwe ought
not to tear i'll Our hurry to get at its con
tents.
"A question for tailors. How isis
that tG5ti'ag buttons have to be renewed
Sc often?
TIE FLOUR OF CaIvALRT.-Heen-
an, after going through the ssMill'' with
out "Bo!ting.'
Bats in India are called dying fox
es, and measure SIX feet from tip to tip
Of their W ings.
MIR, Eyerett's Campaign Motto:
"Hang your Bonners," &c. (Shaks-
peare improved).
MANS mind is like the eagle, some
times soaring co the sun and Sometimes
STOPPING to carrion.
"A crusty old bachelor says that he
thinks 1t is women and not her wrongs
that need rearesss"g.
--E!derly unmarried ladies are con-
sideFed oy some TIE least env;able Of
all kinds Of eating maids.
Not among the Post Office ere
turns:' The ccs;;:a Of Fowler, the de-
faulting P. II. Of New York.
The gi'l who su2caa1s to win tho
true love nf n true man makes a luc Ky
hit, and is herself lucky miss.
--"WHAr is the use Of the eclipse?"
asLed young lady.
70 give the sun time for reflection.
-ETuAT is the difference between an
a1ction and sea- sickness? One is tho
sale Of eifacts--the other the effects Of
SAL.
Why is the Pen mightior than tho
Sword? Because It Is better adapted
for Rulers to use R;ghting their Sub
jects.
We must not undervaluc physi-
clans. Perhaps the fabric of society
might fall without them-the are its
pliers.
STANDING JoEE.-Passonger Rail
way Conductor asking mar to stake
a seat when there are ten full-grown
hoops in the car
-Reprove seldom i? you would ef-
fcctlvclY. The thunder Of Niagara it.
self passes unnoticed by those who
hear it every day.
If misfortune comes into voar
house, be patient, and smile pleasantly,
and It will stalk out again, for it can't
bear cheerful company.
"A lady Of uppertendon was some
time back, greatly shocked on learning
that male and female strawberry plants
ere found occupying the sane bed.
Tho question is often discussed
whether saVages enjoy life. We sup-
pose thy do, as they always seem AJAX
ions to take it when they get 4 chance
We know dandy who IS 50 ex-
trene.y fastidious, that ne is always
Cor his umbreIia.-Pu,sch.
This is not bad practice for fash
ionable ladies to adopt.
We though5 people might wear
old clothes out West; out at Chicago,
last week, most shabby dressed man
was arrested as vagrant, and locked
np, although be had about 81, 500 in
his pocket in cash or cash funds.
You CAN'T CONE II The onl thing
that England has been able to import
from Japan, have been tie little clay
gods, proving that in her endeayor to
establish a commerce with that coua-
try, all her efforts have been Idol