Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1860-06-02
W. GND &U2508o

-
Uzg GAD HJ103o
----------------
4 PosFR.-Ned was urging in favor OF
giving women The elective franchise.
WHY shouldn't women vote as vel as
men Are they not capable "f forming
correct opinions on political subjects
Many a woman knows more than her
husband" +" That may be- SAID jim,
"but do YOU suppose I'd have rascally
politician come elerIioneerlng with my
WIFI p
Ned was sIrnced.
A Belgian Journal gives an example ot
husband whn J. ready Ia do justice IN
der the most trying circumstances. Inc
wife being accused ol poisoning. and on
the point ct Ering convicted, begged that
the testimony If her husband might be ad-
milled IN her iavor. The request VAS
granted and the man declared that the hest
evidence ni her innocence was the !act thai
he was alive. For said he. al am sure
that # my tie had possessed 'he least DIS
positiun 10 poison any one. she would have
begun on ne, whom she has hated cord''
ally for ten years" This evidence was
conclusive the jury laughed, and 'he wo'
man was acquitted.
Not long since premium was offered
bv an agricultural society for the best
mode of irrigation, and the latter word,
/ by mistake OF the printer. having bee"
changed to Irritation" farmer sent his
wife to gain the prlZe.
A clergyman, while engaged in catcch'-
sing a number OF boys in class, asked
one Of them for definition Of matrimony.
The reply was /:
A place of punishment. where some
fools suffer for a time, before they 60 10
heaven.
Good boy, said the clergyman, take
your seat.
A TExr.-"My brerher,' said good
old backwoods preacher. "l'm gwlne I"
preach you plain sarment that even
wimmen can understand. Ion can find
NV text in the five versas Of tho two.eyed
chapter of the one.eye John 1t was
sometime before II was perceived that ho
meant John l., chapter2.
II come for The saw, sIG," said an ur'
chin.
"What saucer - asked the neighbor.
"Whv the saw, sir. that you borrow.
cd" replied the lad.
81 borrowed no saucer"
"But YOU did, sIr--lheIe's the saw, sir,
now, sir.
"Be of | never saw your saucer"
"But you did, sir-lheTe's the saw, cir,
now, SIR"
"Oh, you want the san. Why in
thunder didn't you say so at first =
An Inshman was once ndulging in the
very intellectual occupation Of sucking
eggs raw and reading a newspaper. BY
some mischance, lie conlrved 10 bolt
/ live chicken. The poor bird chlrruped
! rs il went down his throat, and he very
politely observed: +: "Be the powers, Te
friend, you spoke liIIe too late.
Deaf Lady What's Your name ,"
Young Lady.-"AugUslus Tyler"
Deal Lady.-Bess me, whasa name.
Bust his BlIer. Eliza, you must be ma
king fun o! me"
Mrs. Par,ingion told Bemus the other
day, in confidence, that young man bad
cOmmItted inlanlIcide by blowing bis
brains up IN state of deliTlnus iremen-
dOus, and the coroner was holding a con.
quest over bis remnants.
UGLY MEN.-In the eastern part Of
Ohio there resides a man named Brown
now Justice OF the Peace, and very
sensible man. but. by common consent.
the ugliesl individual IN The West, being
long, guani, sailow, and awry, with gait
like kangaroo.
One day he was hunting, and one Of
:he mountain roads he met man on iUot
and alone, who was longer, guanler, by all
odds Than hims,lf. He could give the
Squire fifty and beat him. WIIbOu. say
ing a word, Brown raised his gun. and
deliberately Ievelled II at 'he stranger.
For Gods sake, dop't SHOOT shout.
cd the man in alarm.
stranger" replied Brown, 81 swore
Ten wears ago that If ever met man ug-
Iier Than was, I'd shoot him. and you
are the first one have seen"
Tie stranger, after taking a careful sur
vey Of his rival, replied:
"Well, captain il look any worse
than YOU do, shoot. doni wsDIio live
.,,, t,naa, q,