Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1860-04-21

garisms found word to suit you there,
from its definition found several others, used
them indifelently, just the way boys do
.'under twelve years of age" Then would
trace the source of your ideas, as where |
say Towser viii bark, you call me your sea
nine brother" and without bringing about
a transmutatioii, make me to say "Eha0-
ahwna- HyEa-ng-a}t-aoe-he-ehe' first time
ever knew dog .sbrayed." When | say
/ wrote you a friendly notice, you "kiadiy
admonished' me-where did yoa acquire
that ''kindly" breeding which allows you to
publish pretended criticisms on my eng
hsh" When ] say something is not char
acteristic Of q gentleman, you say certain
things poorly comport with the character
Of a gentleman" and when | counsel you to
write SO and so, YOU buff me with "a piece
Of advice" Imitation il the strongest praise
but | think you could punch me harder i
you would put sharper points to your '1ong
poles than my Buncomb. Have mind to
tell you how to reach me: Besides other
limitations, initiate my good hdmor--I am
not in apassion' as YOU supposed-don't
be SO cross; you wound my feelings, for you
know lore you, end after YOU re in a good
humor you can talk easier about spelling q
pair Of boots by kicking me OFT of your pres
ence, {Query-Could Mt you borry a Ole
par? There's pair down here, No, l2s)
could take your s.longp shiny "poles I and
poke them about in my long, hair and
tread on nv " little feet with your 15
inches; OH you could use me up 50, if you
were only in a good humor. And still |
would Mt Get mad; I'd hug you even then
for you ire such dear good fellow. I'd Q
/ little rather you would Mt recapitulate my
articles; they re before the public ard they
can Judge which is the best s.blackguard =
/ / being willing, reluctantly, to yield you the
palm. But you and | are the disputaLs :
and neither sho'd be the judge Of the other
1 / ring in your ears the words Of the immor-
/ tai James Buchanan that "the accuser sho' d
not be the Judge of the accused" But
insist that you get in a good fuinor. Come
over and give US "a wag O your paw" and
see if we can't make it all up then | d give
you another "puf' and you a be better of
than ever. You re not the monster some
people think you are; you are gradually
getting that idea arrested. That's so, is nj
Iit? The trouble is people don't know
what is your ailment. Some say you re
g crazy, some say that you're " insane,'
some that you've gothic Hhydrophobia, and
some that your " cancer" on the body
social: various infrmities are attributed t.
you, but the public forget that the physi-
clan learns bis patients disease from his dis
charges. Applying this test, | conclude
from your last weeks discharge that you've
got the pole-eyil--a disease which forces
plentiful discharges Of corrupt matter from
the head. And / am informed that these
same discharges have come from you daily
/ in the school-room for the last two or three
years that that same lingo which you
poured out upon me has been the gradual
ing address to quite number Of young la
dies under you. ! suggest, if you writ
for public eyes that you produce something
new. | would gladly recommend cur'
for your disease but know but little abou
it; and as The proprietols Of the several liz
cry stables in town are supposed TO be far
riers ii might ba well for you 70 60 TO them
or that you apply the waterAeure- take Of
sl4As laso clcsfilea.n take 81 tuise
pure dwater and SD right dorm into /
and mediate recommended by Fowlel
4 q Wells.
4 I'm tired Of writing and ! know you r.
tired Of reading and as this is the last line Ii
drop you, pardon my presumption It, ac
knowledging that z naturalists have made
the discovery you speak Of and that you
comparison is legitimate, | permit you e
compare me to another quadruped which
naturalists speak Of namely, The porcupine
You know it has long sharp quilts and tha
it viii not attack, butwhen attacked By 9th
er biting animals, viii bristleup into ahug'
ball, and, its assailant biting. gets bis jaw
full Of those sharp quiiilis which avn theil
way in and in, until the assistant finally die
with the .sweli-head" Hive you pains il
your head Yours aAeetionately,
CRITIQUE.
4 :.