The Oxford intelligencer., 1860-06-06
.LIrTLE-OR-NOTHINGs. ,
" A map of busy iife-its fluctuations and its
= il9 vast concerns. .ss-CowrER


An ODD FELLow.-Morpheus, for he is un
deniably Nod fellow. er
CRckrrrSe FOR THE NuHsKRr. - Give 8
child bat and 1t II ball.
WHEN are sweet apple and sour apple
alike 3-When they are pared.
Why is Berlin the most dissipated city in
Europe because it is always on the Spree
A gentleman having a musical sister, being
asked what branch she excelled in, declared
that the piano was her forte.
THERE are many doublings in the human
heart; do not think that you can find out the
whole of mans real character at once.
A poet says:-" Oh, she was fair but sor.
row came, and left his traces there" What
became of the balance of the harness he don't
state.
IT is a bad sign to see man with his hat
off at midnight, explaining the theory and
principles of true democracy to larnp-post.
A marquis said to fnancier, "I would
have you to know that am man of quality"
"And l." replied the fnancier, "am man
of quantity"
SCENE AT SrMPsoS's.--Waiter, (bawlng II
the cook "One roast lamb and one potaloe."
Old gentleman: "No, no. Not so much
lamb and more potatoes p
GENrLEMASLY BRIDEGRooM-The Young
queen of Portugal lately asked her husband
at dinner what wine he preferred. "Port-
you-galw
The bishop of Reiz thanked the bishop of
lAsieux for having consecrated him. at is
for me, said the latter, "to thank YOU. Twas
the uglicst bishop in France until you were
elected"
The life insurance companies are about in
serting clause in their policies, prohibiting
their risks from rislSing their necks by balloon
ing OF tight rope performances.
AS gold is found but here and there upon
earth, so it is with love in humBn life. We
meet 1t little in the hearts OF children and |
in our households; but it is here and there |
scale of gold and whole continent of dirt.
Gentlemen who smoke allegc that it makes \
.hem calm and complacent. They tell us that
he more they fume the less they fret.
A good man who has seen much of the
world, and is not tired of it says: "Thc
grand essentials to happiness in this life are
something to do something to love and some
hing to hope for"
A boy who was asked one day what made
lin so dirty, replied: 81 am made, so they
ell me, of the dust of the ground, and |
eckon its just working out
Have you dincd r. said lounger to his
rlend. al have, upon my honor" replied
c. "Then," rcjoined the first you have
ined upon your honor, | fear you have made
ut a scanty meal"
Mrs. Jenkins complained in the evening that
he turkey she had eaten at Thanksgiving did
OF SET well. Probably" said jenkins, "it !,
as not hen turkey" He got a glass of
atcr in his face.
"Oh Jacob" said master to his appren-
ce boy, " it is wonderful to see what GUAM },
ty you can eat" ayes, MASTER" replied the /,
'y; al have been practicing since was a
lild."
The girl who succeeds in winning the true ;,
We of true man makes lucky hi, and is ;;
rself lucky miss. !,
A man being commiserated with on account =
his wife's running away, said: "Don't pity ia
till she comes back again" IL
IL misfortune comes into your house, be pa e,
mt, and smile pleasantly, and it will stalk
{ again, for it can't bear cheerful company. d,
The question, Can man marry his moth in
y was recently demonstrated in the affirm. tn
We in Bonton. Rev. d. G. Eddy married br
own mothcr-to Mr.. Jacob Bacon. ov
OH Bachelor Sheer would like to know gr
at kind of broom the young woman in Sc
) last new novel, used, when she swept
* the raven ringets from her classic brow. gr
How many man, by throwing himself to -
ground in despair, crnshes and destroys ."
ever thousand flowers of hope that were ny
dy to spring up and gladden. all his path ~ :,
|, his
Baron Straatsburg, who has imported =.
hmere goat, intending TO raise his own cot :
to make camel's-hair shawls with, wishes
Snow If there is any difference between
thdown mutton, and mutton down South. -,
military officer, one day, while reviewing din
company, happened to be thrown from his II
&c, and, as he lay sprawling on the ground, the
to friend who ran to his assistance, al civ
lght had improved in horsemaaship, but @If
ID I hare fallen Of. rs f
HE following conversation recently occur D~'
in commissioners shop in Bristol, between
q fast" urchins under twelve years ofage.
m, do you smoke much now F'-a No,
,igars are so bad now that unless man
1rts q his own tobacco, he can't get on
comfort" ,su .<. i s17y .ssrssri.i