Holmes County farmer. [volume] (Millersburg, Ohio) 1857-1926, 1860-06-21
'siah Flake has lost his Mariar,
and Tells Of IL.

YOU knows the trouble man with feel
ing in his heart and furniture in his house
agoing to run and dust, and kiverod with
cobwebs, endoors when he loses the part
ner of his bosom. His grief, in such in
stances will outlast ten yards of hat Grape.
A man might as we'll take the road to
High Bridge fur near cut to Whitehall,
as to travel single arter he's thro' his
legs in double harness. 'Taint no Juice
Besides, when a man becomes widerer,
he can't travel on his shape; married men
don't have no shape. After man gets
into the matterm onial- he looses his
hang Of himself. ] never knowed a mar
ried man that ever had suit Of clothes
that fit him. Some how, at fust the fell
Ter shrinks or else the clothes stretches
one or the other He gets kinder loose
all over, and if he's got a particularly
careless wife, he looks kinder wilted--
onsartain, as if he were stuffed with straw,
and were afeared the ends would stick out.
Well, as we're going to say, wen man S
wife slips off the handle and hain't seen
more she's missed, that's So "raint no
difference where young and interestin'
gal steps ont, cos her innocent prospects
in life are not as yet, connected with loose
shirt buttons, busted suspenders, and the
holes, in great he feller's breeches.--
But, when wife puts her spermacett
under a hushel, or suffers it to be snuffed
out by the weller cholera, then thar is a
loss specially to her mournin' partner
When my Mariar developed the last
interval resources of her lungs, and drew
her final breth-( she were spunky draw
ing that b~th She'd draw'd tha,
breth eff forty horses had been pullin
against her.) The women in the room
kinder swum me from her, side, in ar
ocean of tears. "Poor man, he's gone
out to sob his dear heart away" and one
of 'em follered me into the woodshed.-
The old hvpecrit, she knowed I was GO
in into the woodhouse to sob down q
few draps of 'Old Rye sort of stuff her
nose had turned red a smelling.
Well, Mariar he'd to 'go under and
when she was planted, her bereaved Bob
that's me--went to bis desolste home
When l went in at the door, thar lay
my cat mewing for her milk. She had
got so thin that the hide hung across hel
back bone like dish cloth over tele
graph wire. The poor critter had been
in starving condition three or four days
Next thar were the dog. Sometimes
thought he was his shadder. and ther
again | thought his shadder was him. He
were so weak that when 7 whistled him
his shadder run up to me before he coult
lift himself on to his legs. You could I
used him lengthways for spy glass, h
was so holer. He were so weak tina
when he opened his mouth he had to draI
his tail. and aoisa wersey.. Eff he hac
shuck his head his teeth would flew out
like bees ont Of barry. He looked ur
at me and then at the cat. He hated tina
cat, and that cat warn't no way back arc
: in hatin him. She tried to hist her spina
manner and crook her tail. but it wouldn'
work. The har riz little-that's all
The dorg drapped onto his hunkers an,
. looked beef at me- Beef was his favorit,
feed, when he could get it. | throw'd 1
! chunk at him. Whar that beef went
dont't know. It's mystery. The dorl
!. didn't seem to have stirred leg. Their
; he sot, looking beef at me stronger thar
. ever. But after while he kinder revived
. The next morning he came up to my bed
side, and the poor feller had tied small
: piece of Grape to his left hind leg.
That dorg and cat were never lackin
V for meet and drink while Mariar wcr
Z about. How | miss that woman. Sh
were woman sich as don't come ofte
: to sinners. If she only knowed how
:, mourn for her. Sich pies as she made
u and sich crust? and her baked beans!-
Oh! she was wife as knew how to tee
; i the finest cords of the human heart. Sh
won my first love BY fried doughnuts.-
I've sot watchin' them creations of her.
a swimmin', sizzen in the bilen fat an
IL gradooally turnin' from their native yel
: low to a crisby brown. Oh! and thel
: she had sch high art way of tishin' ther
e out with fork. Sich geniuses as her.
J. couldn't last long. Them doughnuts wo
/, me, and couple of her apple dumplin'
81 sealed the bargain. l took her for WI
'e and found her great deal better.
a She's gone now, the blessed critter.
le do not leve she's angel. Angels hahn
g in her line. Angels is highfalutin female
as has wings, cos they're too weak t
'e walk all the angels I've ever heard o
in print er hev seen, knowd nothing {
pork and beans or fryin doenuts. Maris
" warn't pianer player, she couldn't writ
" were never afflicted with laziness, an
D didn't take to reading yeller kivered lite
t. atoor, and therefore spect she won't
|, very good company for the angels l.,
'f seed before they departed from this va
II of tears.
't Mariar! How 1 miss her; here's m
r. suspender button gone, and hev to III
ID shngle nail crosswise instead. Shir
l, ripped and tored. That thar bed hahn
or been sot to rights in two weeks. This y
lie floor has gone to Dust and grease. Ho
III | did love that woman. The more
ne misses her. the more feels the necessi
ne of gettin' suthin or somebody in her plac
Ill / luved her as no tongue kin tell
re haven had fried doughnut since more
to week after she resigned the spectre
= There's Sal Swipes. She's on the an
Il. ious seat for marridgeable purposes, b
Sc Pm afear'd she's lookin more arter MAJ
RS. ar's old dresses and Sunday fixens th'
&C. she is arter nv comfort. There's the