The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1860-03-02

with the right foot, and We sat down with
fearful rapidity, and very little Of any olo-
gance! What set down It was, for We
made dent in tho Ice not unlike Connecti.
cut butter bowl -..-..
Just then one Of the ladies remarked, '0h,
look. Mary, that fellow with white hat
ain Z rot his skates on in the right plscor
Ditto. thoughtwe. Just then sraggcd little
fellow sang out a. he glided past us, halo,
old tumble legsT and We aross and put
after him. Three slidcs to the right-two TO
the left-and away went our lcgs-one to tho
east, the other west, causing an immense
f;murc in our pants, and another picture Of
butter.tray In the cold, oh, hop coid!-icc.
Then tho iady-wc know she was ono by tho
romark shc made-again spoke and said,
.Oh. look, Mary, that chap with tho white
hat has sat down on his handkerchief to keep
from taking co.d!' We rose about as grace
fully as q saw-horsc, when Mary said, 'Guess
faint handkerchief, Jane, and Mary was
right. Just then friend came along, and
proi5ered M his coat-tail asa 'steadier.' We
accented the continuation Of his garment,
and up the river we went about ten rods.
when q shy to tho right by the leader, caused
us, tho wheel.horse, to scoot of on tangent,
heels. up! But the ice Is very cold this
season
We tried It again. A glide ono Way
glide and half another way, when o whack
came witt, our bump Of philoprogcnitiveneas
on the ice, and we saw million OF stars
dancing around like ballet girls at tho
Bowery Theatre. How the shock went
through our system, and up and down our
spinal column. Lightning couldn't have
corkscrewed It down q CREASED sapling with
greater speed or more cxhilarating ctect.
Boarding-house butter nor warranty decd
could have struck stronger than We did-and
u dozen ladies looking at us-and our fs-
sured pants!
Halo, old cock = sang out that ragged
INN again, and We there helpless soon wo
cot up and made another trial, with better
success. Perhaps we had skated in our
peculiar style fifteen feet when laundering
chap came up behind, and we sat down with
our tired head pillowed in his lap-and no
swearing ut us, when 1t was his fault! How
cold the Ice was there, too. Every spot
where we made our debut on tho icc,-oh,
how cold 1t was! Our bear-skin drawers
were no protection at all. We tried again,
for the papers oil say it's fun, and down
came our Roman. Grecian nose on tho cold
;ulep material and the little drops Of crimfon
ran down our shirt bosom and on the, cold
ice.
Onco moro wo tried skating-made for tho
shore-sat down and counted damages. Two
shillings in cash thrown away. Seven lateral
and one fronteral bump OH the Ice. Ono I'm.
mense fssure in as handsome q pair OF ten
dollar cassimeres rs q man ever put his legs
In. One rupture in the knee, extending to
the bone. Four buttons from our vest, o
,fracmented' watch crystal, and backache.
big enough to divide among the children Of
Israel. =,
II YOU catch US on the smooth, CLASSY chill
ing, freezing, treacherous, deceitiul, slippery
and slipuppery Ice again, you'll know Il!
IT any one ever hears Of our skating again,
they will please draw on us ut sight, for tho
bivalves and accompanying document. It's
hcad.bumping, back-acliing, leg.wear,i ing
institution. and we warn people against
skating. We tried 1t, and shan't be able to
walk for month. Skating clubs are hum
bugs, and all the rascally youngsters wish TO
get the ladies ut 1t, that they may see-if
they don't say, 'thc ice Is drcadfully cold
It's nothing to us, but the ladies would do
we'll to let the skates alone, unless they arc
younger and more elastic than wearc. Oh!
how cold the leo is-wc can feel It yet!