The Ashland union. [volume] (Ashland, Ashland County, Ohio) 1854-1868, 1860-01-11
THE LANDLORD s FIRST CUSTOMER.

A man may be q first rate fellow, as Matt
Peel u ed to say, and yet not no how to- keep
Ia hotel If ability in hotel keeping be a test
of a good fellow, there is no man for whom
we can certainly vouch as all sorts 0f a good
fellow. He keeps u hotel, or country tavern,
if you will, away up in the interior Of Arkan-
sas, somewhere. The way We happened to
; hear OF him was-this: -
+! Several weeks ago two we'll known gentle
men Of this city went travelling for their health,
and concluded to try the famous Hot Springs
of old "Raekensack.' There being neither
river, railroad nor canal, to take a body to the
Springs, uur travellers hired horses at their
point OF debarkation. to ride in that manner t"
their destination They unluckily did notiollow
the right road, or else there was no right road
to follow; at any rate they got lost, and after
q fatisueinS days ride through a barren and
inhospitabie wilderness, they came to a neat
little building, standing alone in the woods,
with farming appenda5es around. Our travel
lers halted aud hallooed. Agreat, tall, rawboned
giant OF a fellow stepped out.
:'Can we get lodging here to night !? asked
one OF the horsemen.
"Weil, geI .lenen, [ reckon ye kin" said the
big one, land welkim to boot. This is a hotel.
:, The travellers, although they did not}ike the
cut OF the landlords jig dismnunted, were re-
IlefCu "a Lnclr HORSES. aiiu We're oObH L .,diiHS
themselves over a good county SUPPER OF corn
dodgers, bacon, milk, fried chickens. and coffee.
1t was u regular eouatry supper, but with their
wiletsed appetites, our invaiids cnjoyedit anna
zingly. 80
Z Alter supper the gigantic landlord sat on
the porch with them, talking, laughing crack
ing jokes, treating occasionally TO some good
old rye, of which he appeared to havea plenti-
fui stock The invahds sat him down for a
arnl,r hr+c - aud u-ArA StSl haf.nr Yln,aaH
when lighted ut last t, Rice soft feather beds,
with the whitest OF sheets.
81 tell you what it is, Bill" said Tom, as
they were sinking gently into the embraces of
Somnus, ''this fellow keeps a nice place if it is
cut here il the woods
That's a fact" replied Bi ], sand Isuppnso
it's II cheap place, too but like it, and I'm
willing to Fay the full city fsure on it"
Next morning our travellers We're aroused by
their -,yly but afffablc landlord, and, RECALLED
with a breakfast, if possible, still more j petit
sing than last night work had been. The hor-
ses were brought round and it WIS evident that
the too had been we'll cared for. One of the
, trat elers pulled out his wallet, and said to the
big entertainer
well, landlord, you keep a first rate little
hotel out here better than We expected to find
We arc much pleased with it, and now We want
to know what the damage is"
The landlord drew himself up, and putting
on a very solemn look, said, "tie: tlemen. In.
pleased TO here that you are satisfied. The bill
is two hundred and seventy-fve dollars"
How much did you say, s.r?" asked the
travellers, both starting.
Tho big enc drew hims.lf up a%.little higher,
en~dlo1king still more solemn, replied distinctly
and eniphatioaliy, Two hundred and seventy
five dollars, gentlemen"
"Do | hear yea right, sir DO you really
mean to charge lis two hundred ami seventy
FIVE dollars for TWO meals, and lodging
ard horse feod z'r .'gcntlen. n said the landlord
with the alarming Sdly trOi6, that's no mis-
take. Two hundred and seventy fse dollars
is the bill" The inralids got scared. They
did not feel strong enough to light and if they
had, could never have hoped 10 make anything
out of the ugly giant who stood So composedly
before tteni. Without saying another word
the Traveller with the wallet squeszed it and
peeled its different pockets ami saccee led in
handing over the full amount required. The
landlord thanked his guests politely. and hoped
if they should ever pass that way again, that
they would give him a call.
The travellers were on their horses, and pre-
pared, like the famous cavaliers in James HOW
els, to renew their solitary ride. Before get
ting far od, however. the traveller who had to
d~iseorse, turned in saddle, and hailed the lard
lord
81 say, landlord" he shouted, "before [ go,
I'd just like to ask you a question: civil
question-which yon can't take offence at"
"Fire ahead, gentlemen," was the answer,
"ye've yer bill, and yer weikim to ask anythin'
without o~fcrce."
DWELL, low in the lame Of heaven did you
come TO charge US two hundred and seventy
five dollars for one nights accoc mediation, not
worth more than five or six dollars at the out
side
''Certainly, gentlemen, I'll tell yer, in wei
kim You see l keep hotel and sometimes l
has custimers and sometimes l hasn't. When
L hasn't [ has to charge accordin and as You
are the first customers I've had well nigh on to
a year, yer bill was Il biger'n it mort la bin 9th
erwisp. The hotel has to be KEEP up, gen
tlenisn, and when the customers is sca'ce, l
has to charge accordin."
''Good morning, landlord" said both the
travellers; and they rode off satisfied.
They didn't 90 on to the Springs, however.
They took the back track for the river, and re
turned to this city for more money, the big
hotel keeper having pretty web cleaned them
out. Re supplied with funds, they are now off
to the Virginia Springs; being unwilling to
trust themselves again among the hotels of Ar
kansas interior.
They declare, though, that the big landlord
who tieeced them is Il capital fellrw-and
knows how to keep u hotel into the bargain