Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1860-04-28
$3.50 a YEAR.
Fact, Fancy and Fun.

Lay Pieaching-Cackling.
The Best Sccurity-Purse-onal re.
sponsibility.
He is an i'll boy that goes like a top
-no longer than he is whipped.
Railroad Extrava9ance-Hiring n
corps OF men to "break up'' the trains?
Why is dung-hil cock like =
garden plant? Because he's Crow.
GUS.
The Great Water Power-Enq-
land; for is not she the Mistress Of the
Seas?
1t should be remembered that 4
bare assertion is not necessarily tie ma
ked truth.
A bad hat, taken to an evening
party, frequently comes out the next
day as good rs new.
There are insurance and other cor.
roratl"n>, whose room is much better
than their company.
There is one thing which the most
uh"hserVant person inauYeS 10 seq
that winch we do not want him 20 SEQ.
When a wealthy friend promises
to leave yon a house and lot, it is not
! always best to take the ,ciW for the GeefE.
There is a woman III town so know
| ing that people who don't know their
own minds come to her for information
on the subject
There is a man in Cincinnati i,i
possession Of "A powerful memory. IL
is employed by the Humane Society to
remember the poor.
MA, if YOU will give ne an apple,
| will be good" "No, my child, you
must not be good for pay, you ought
to be good for mothi"g"
There are deformities which 1T
tract no particular attention, but ma,
born without feet must necessarily be
Il no-toe-riouS character.
A man was recently convicted IN
Ky, for stealing his neighbors COWS
and hiding them in his cellar. II was
co"ardly way Of cowFiding.
There is man in Indiana so Thin
that when the s1crs il sftcr him, he
crawls into his rife and Watches hi,
;Adversc c'v through the :ouch-hole.
-"I say Pat, what kind Of potatoes
are those yon are planting 20
"R.." once, to be sure! Did veg
think Ia be Arthur plantin' billed ones ?"
A Savannah paper in recording
an incident to boy h,'a" clothes .ook
fire, states that sis aho.~ body gas
burnt, besides other parts Of bis per.
son.
---"Fiie least said quickest mended,"
does not refer 10 oue's shirt when it
wants repairing, for if one says ever 80
little about it you I. i'll not find it any
the sooner n..nded fer all that
An 1rishman, fishing in the rain,
was observed carefully Keeping his line
under the arch of the bridge. Upon
being asked the reason, he replied as
follows: Sure an won't the fish be
crowding here to keep out of the wet,
ye spaipeen
A writer on domestic economy, in
giving instruction. for keeping eggs
fresh, .~ys, Lay the sm.ll end down.
r. docs not ssrccity whether this direc-
ton W:s for the hen or the housewife.
Should judge it was the hen who
ever knew 3 housewife to lay eggs?
An Irishman being asked whether
he did not frequently converse with 4
friend in the IRISH language, replied
"No, indeed, Jem often speaks to me
in Irish, but l always answer him in
English"
"Why so? %
because, You see, I don't want Jen
to know that | understand the Irish"
The following rules of order are
hanging apon the walls of hotel at
the capitol Of a Western State:
"MeInbers of Assembly will 90 to
the table first, and gentlemen after.
wards.
Note l5ena, -rowdies and black
guards will please not mix with the
members, as it Is hard 20 tell one from
the o;!ier.''
a young man Of Nantucket, be-
coming engaged recently, ,gas desirous
oi presenting his Intended with q ring
appropriately inscribed, brt being at a
I loss what to have e..gra, ed on it.
called apon his fatae.' for. -dyice.-
"WrH,' said the old mar. <Eput on,
! When this YOU see remember me-"
TIE young lady was much surprised a
few days after, at receiving beautiful
ring with this inscri ption, "Vhen this
/ you see, remember fatAer.o'