The Carrollton sun. (City of Carrollton, Parish of Jefferson, La.) 185?-1???, 1860-12-01

{Here Toby, with merry twinkle
in his eyes, told me that he saw tho
old gentleman in his last moments, and
that he expressed no desire to remain
with his. dear wife.)
There, is no noise I hate so much as
u snore ,Nnd to crown my married mesery
| have snoring wife. / believe that
Abraham slept with his forefathers with
greater comfort than l do with my one
wifo. Every night 1 am wakened by
her long, loud and terrible snoring,
which sounds like the breathing of an
elephant attacked by bronchitis, or the
witches of Macbeth playing on from
bone.
My wife says that if don't eat so
much 1 could sleep well enough, and
that she never was guilty of such
vulgar habit as snoring in all her life.
Upon my suggesting that she has not
as good an opportunity to hear herself
snore as other people, she gives me
lecture upon impudence far surprising
{ in its brilliancy of thought and delivery
NV of Mrs. Caudle's nocturnal ora
sons and L am glad to take refuge in
Emy pillow, not, however, until | have
said in subdued tone, with all thy
faults | love thee StiA.'
Before we were married she called
me 'honey,' now 1 am 'old beeswax.'
Then / was perfectly divine now am
q perfect fiend.'ThenI was noble heart
ed now am real mean Then l was
/ handsome now am u horrid LOOKING
bobiect.' Then she would die for me,
now she wouldn't stir a step to save
my neck Then sho was all patience,
now her hope deferred maketh her
| heart sick Then she was mild, now
sshe knows her rights and is the strong
minded female seeking whom she may
devour. Tom Brown truly said j:
| Man is the pilot; his wife is the ocean,
| He always in trouble, she always in motion ,"
(Here Toby, taking handkerchief
from his pocket, buried his facial ar
rangements in its ample folds, and
7 waited in silence until he had compile
ted the exercise of his melancholy
| functions
| Toby, you are indeed a man of sor-
rows. But gazing back through the
vista of ages, you will find that more
celebrated men than yourself have been
deceived by women. Adam, Solomon,
Sampson, and Holofernes were victims
of the gay deceiver,' and Socrates
life was shortened by the length of his
wife's tongue.
Toby, when you arc desponding and
think YOU lead II hard life, just imagine
Socrates, tho greatest Of ancient phi,
losophers, contemplating the immor,
tality of the soul, while Xantippc, his
wife, flour ishes broomstick over his
head
He must have been u man Of strong
nerve said Toby:
Yes, Toby, md Mrs. Socrates was
most energetic house keeper.
'Of them it might be said
Wishing each other, not divorced, but dead,
They lived respectfully as man and wife"
This question of matlimony is one
which requires considerable meditation
and forethought, since in most cases j
is decision for life. There are
great many pros and cons connected
with it. Some fanatics cry out ngains
the institution in toto, and in II tone o
Scripture authority, say, go TO tn
maiden aunt thou single man, considc
o. her ways and bc wisc.' They contcm
that cclibacy "chastc rs the iciclo" j
the normal condition Of rnan, nudstha
''many q flower is born to blush unsce
and waste itS fragrance on the dcsei
air myself do not think that Pro
whence is on the side Of cclibacy