Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1860-03-17
60 q 2, , ElJtl-.o
4 8153 -


serted eleven wiyes-,risls enough with
out any extra one says the Boston Post.
II thou hast lear of those who command
thee, spare those who obey thee.
The Question Of the Day-What shall
we DO tonight! Ans. Go see the girls.
Which is the fJnniesl, you or : !,
to be sure, because Pam the querlsI.
A gentleman who spoke of having been
struck bv lldy : beauty, was advised 10
kiss the rod,
Liule drops of rain brighten the mead
ows, and lille acts ol kindness brighten
the world,
Wha, good would centuries do tho
man who only knows how to waste his
time
So long as men are imprudent in their
diet and business, doctors and lawyers Will
.de in carriages.
1t is easier TO increase our wants, be
they ever so much, than 10 reduce them,
be hey ever so llle.- Boree.
There is man in Cincinnati in posses
sion Of sLch powerful memory. lie IS
employed by the Humane Society to ''rc-
memter the poor"
"Givc me kiss, dear girl." IL can't"
she replied. IL don't mind lending you
one, hat must have il returned tomor-
row"
Tie singing Of a kettle in one respe,'
resembles the singing OF stage singer.
An attempt 60 overdo 1t will be followed
by hiss.
Happiness must arise from our own
temper and actions, and not Immediately
from any external conditions.
Var to The Kni(e-A tough goose.
: What goes mos, against farmers
, grain His moving machine.
A forward aud iakslive young man is
not likely ever 10 become grea, man.
In describing spurious bill, bank
, nole detecror says :--"ln the counierieils
, which can easily be distinguished, the le-
male on the left lower corner hss Key.
while in the genuine she has Sickle.
A lazy, over-fed, lad, returning from
dinner to his work, wa1 asked by his mas
, ter if he had no other motion than that
!, Yes" replied the boy. drawing out each
letter, "bul lis slower
Miss Tucker says it is with old bache-
lors as with old wood; it is hard 10 get
luem started, Lut when they Go fame they
burn prOdIgiously.
why am like The letter V p inqui.
red gentleman Of lady whom he had
called upon 10 take to the theatre. give
liz up, sir. because | come after IT,"
Mr.. J. S. Fall, Mississippi editor,
asks when we shall get wise. UndoubI-
edly before Fall, if ever.
A woman in Florida, named Cross.
lately gavo birth 10 an in(aul son which
weighed only one pound. That Cross
WASH, hard 10 bear.
An athletic specimen of man from the
Emerald Isle called at the counting house
OF one of oui riverside merchants, and
there took of bis hat 10 make his best
/ bow. The top OF the mornin To ye. mis-
ter says Pat I've been told ye are in
want Of help
I've but little 10 do replied The gen.
tdeman with mercantile gravity.
Then I'm the boy for yez,' says Pad
dy, its but little | care about doin'-il's
the money I'm afIher.' .a ..
THE IRIsHMAN AND THE Bull An q
Irishman was going along the road. ahen
an angry bull rushed upon him and with
his horns tossed bin over fence. The
Irishmsn recovering from his fall, upon
looking up saw the bull paving and tear.
ing up The ground, las is the custom Of the
animaI whereuPon Pat smiling at him
said
III il was not for your bowing and scra.
ping, ard your humble apologies, you
brute bsist, | would think thai yon had
thrown me over 'his fence on purpose =
"A pretty psir'of eyes are the best mir
ror TO shave BY said DR.. AIlsehse. the
other day. 10 an old fogy bachelor.
why yes to be sure replied the old q.
hunk, 'srd can tell YOU luile mnp-
many man has been shaved BY them
An Oxford scholar, calling early one
morning on another, when ~ bed, says:
Jack, are you asleep ?" tas
"Wby p -.s ,,.tl.
"Becsuse wsntio borrow half crown
Of you."
Then | am asleep" nv # q.
SHARP CHAP.-As we were walking
along the street the other Say, We noticed
a crowd Of urchins standing around boy
who was sucking piece of candy. i
say. Bill, give me that CANDY and III make s.
ii come oDt Of my ears ike Bliiz did last