Pomeroy weekly telegraph. [volume] (Pomeroy, Meigs County, Ohio) 1860-1866, 1860-01-10

house, and if ever placed so that lshouldI
be Obliged to crave the hospitality ofl
strangers, to make particular inquiry
whether any mad person, brother in -lawEi
or other, dwelt in the house 7. Sat-
urday Press. aa5 s /
From Once W sek.
Advertising for a Wife.
'sTobacco is the tomb of love, writes
a modern novelist of high standing; but
with every respect for his authority ! beg
to say it was quite the contrary in my
case. Ftas hssI 5tfs1I. sts5
Twenty-one years agoI was sitting by
my fireside, totting up innumerable pages
Of my bachelors housekeeping book,
taking exercise in arithmetic on long col
umns of .petty cash sh''--comprising items
for carrots and Bath bricks, metal tacks
and mutton chops-until, tired and wea-
ried, I arrived at the sum total, and
jerked the book on the mantle piece
Nearly at the same time I placed my
hand in the pocket of my dressing gown,
drew out a leather case, and lit q princi-
pie. Well, having lit the principe, !
placed my feet on the fender and sighed,
exhausted by my long job of domestic
accounts. / was then in business twas.
q small wholesale business then 'tis'
large one dow-yet one mornings tot
ting of carrots and Bath bricks of tacks
and chops would tire me a thousand
times more than twenty -four hours OF
honest ledger-work. sighed, not from
Hove but from labor; for, to tell you the
truth, I.had never been in love. is this
to go on forever? thought /, as | took my
third Whit, and looked dreamily through
1.-The thin smoke as it ascended between
ine and d large print Of the capture of
EGibralter which hung over the chimney
piece. Am to spend my prime in tot
fting up parsnips, and computing carrots,
land eomptrolling washing elbills2 l
sighed again, and in the act, off few the
button ofmy neck band, as though some
superior power had sent'the accident to
remind me OF my helplessness.
The buttonsettledth the business; though,
as itslipped down inside my shirt, and
Epassed with its mother-o pearl coldness
lover my heart, It for moment threatened
to chill nv matrimonial resolution. 1
lpitied my own lonely state, and pity, we
know, Is akin to love. But hoy was the
/ matter to be accomplished Most men
/ at nv. age would already have adjusted
their inclination to some object so that
having made up their mind and counted
1.-The cost; little more would have reInaiHed
Ito be done than to decide upon the day
land lay hold upon the license. This,
however, was net the case with me- /
had been too much occupied, too idle, or
Etoo indolent to devote the time or ma ke
lthe effort to ssform an attachment. y 1t
was through no disinclination or diff
1culty to be pleased; for had any young
tlady of moderately agreeable powers
taken the trouble, she might have mar
fried me long ere then. Il should even
tbaye been grateful to- her for taking the
trouble off my hands, but | was too
Ebashfual te. adopt the initiative. 5,
/ I was bashful man. This weakness
feame from the same cause as my Uncle
Toby s-namcly, a want of acquaintance
With female society, which want arose
from another cause in my case-nameiy,
ftoo close an application to business. .sa
s Accordingly, thought of an advver-
tisement; yet with no Practical design OF
fdoing business, but as persuaded my
|self. for a Joke. So / scratched with a
pencil on the back OF a letter the follow
SWANrEp, a WIFE.--None but prin+
1cipals need apply The advertiser does
mot require cash but only a companion,
He is and-twenty, and, tired OF sin
ole. he thinks he can settle down to mar
3fied life As men go, he believes he
hasa moderate share of temper, and want
of time is his only reason for having re-
.Ecoarse tosi the newspapers. He has
lemon oh means for himself and second
t5if j n. and is willing to treat at once
Parr..,sf.a Ei :tesaware that a great many at
he Is quAs-ert his honest intentions
in'e bnt be e warns ali rash III n.ruders T hs
finds { man man hardy enough to Ii. 'Ne sp0;, :,
4 of his affections, he will thrash hin, -
"a t. woman he will forgive her. He has a
heart for the sincere, horsewhip, for
i .ha A ;,naner ~ rtinent. In either case, all ap-
seat;ans IL will be promptly attended to
e. y sddressed to P. P, to the office, Of
this paper. : f.s.ess a,s;t;on oni
! [ felt proud Of my coapos,',on, IAN, an,
lpuffed away my principle VIZ = sass 80
idea of sglee and anticipation OF some
3 thing coming out, Of it, I have no We, t,.,
GREAT idea that anything but fun would
result;z and certainly had not the
SLIGHTEST notion of, involving myself in
nersonal collision with any one. Still
the presentiment that it was not destined
i to be all joke pressed upon me. On Sat
durday the advertisement appeared, and
: heard its style: canyassed BY all m. N.
: friends, and it was. jokingly suggeste'
( by more than one, that. ! was the do
mestically destitute. individual who pu
y lit forth. a -. :aI.drlgi ,48, ,a5it,
!, On Monday morning sent noytt
o the newspaper Office for 2, Ps letters
nj I expected he might be followed = b
# some curious and inquisitiye persons; s
}. I told him ON his way back, to call on
Il bachelor friend of mine for q book. Tn
+ trick told. The lad was followed b
IS some persons who never lost sight Of hil
ltluntil they ran him into my friends an
,f then they went back and announced thu
II Iha was, the advertiser, thus discharge
I in full one OF two practical jokes Whie
> nv neighbor had played upon me.
Is The answers we're of the usual; chara'
Of tter--seyeral seeking to elicit my nam
ly1 and still moro suggesting places of NEE
ID ing, where I was to exhibit myself with }.
y flower. in my button-hole and viii
handkerchief in my hand. One on
a. Ilooked like business. It was from lad
:. Who. proposed, an interview in neig
IN boring city, about forty miles north