Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1860-06-23
NUMBER AZ.
WARDS OPINION OF
PATTI.

"Artemus Ward gives US his impress
sions OF the beautiful Patti in rather
original criticism, which We give below
The great Snowman says:
The moosic which ime most use to il
the inspirin stains of the hand orgin /
hire artistic Italyun to grind lor me,
Payin him his vittles & close, 4 spose it
was them stranes which first put moosi-
cal into me. Like all all furriners, he has
seoa better dase, hayin formerly been
kount. But he aiAt of much akount now.
except to turn the okin and drink Beer.
OF which bevrige he can hold churnful
easy. Miss Patty Is smawl far hir size,
but as the man sed about his wife. o Lori
She is we'll blt, K her com pIexshun is
what mite be called a Breonet,y Her ise
is dark bay, the lashes bein long and
silky. When she smiles the awience feels
like axing her to do it sum moor. e to
contlnner do, it a indetint extent H.r
waste is Of the most bostiul wastes ev-
er seen. When Mr.. Strackhorse led her
out l thawt sumo pretty skool gal, who
had Jest graduated frum pantalets s wire
hoops, was cnrnin out to read her fust
compersisaun in public. She cum out 60
Dashtul like, with her he'd how'd down, e.
made such effort to arrange her lips so
they'd look pretty, that wanted to swalIer
her. She reminded me uf Susan Skim
mer, who'd never kiss the boys at parin
bees till the candles was biow'a out, Miss
FATTY sung suthln or ruther in furrin
tung l don't know what the sentimuuts
was. For awt | know she may have bin
denouncin my wax fggers L. sagashus
wild beests of Pray & don't mach kcsr
IT she did. When she opened her mowih
army OF martiugales. boboinhs, kama
rvs, swallers, mockin birds. etsettery,
burst 4th Il few all over the Haul
Go it, li;te-l. sez to N sell, in hiIv
excited frame Of mind, K ei that kaunt or
royal duke which You'll be pretty apt to
marry of these dlse don't do the fair
thing by ye, va kin always hav home on
A. Wards farm, near Baldinsvii,e. Inian-
ny. When she sung Cumin threw tue
Rye, Il spoke OF that Swayne she deerly
lu'ed herself indisido1uly, | didn't wish
| was that air Swayne. No CESS not
Oh certainly not. This is lronicuL I
dout meen this. Its way hay Of
goakin, Nov that Maria Picklehoniny
has got married which hope she likes
it Il left the pertesAun, Ade!iny pasfv is
the championess of the opery ring. She
karres the belt. There's 10 draw G;s
about it. Other prmy donuys may a.
we'll throw u? the spunie first as last. Nv
eyes don't deceive my ear site in this mat
ter. But Miss Patty erter sing in tae
English tung. As she kin DO SO well as
she kin in 1talun, why under the Son don't
she do it? What cents is there in .iagin
wurds nobody don't unierstan when wnrds
we do understan is Jest as handy? WAY
peple will versitierusIy appiawd furrin
la" "gwidge is a Mastery. 1t remincs me Of
a man | onct know. He scd he krockt
the bo.tum ont of his pork barril. L The
pork fell ont, bat the brine dideat monya
inch. II stsde IN the barrll lie ,cd
this was a MYSTERY, but it wasn't misterior
than this thing Inc sreaka Of
AS fur Brignolv. Ferri and Junkv. thav
air dowtess CRATE, but | think sich able
bodied men wood look better tillin the
slle than dressin thareseives up in black
close a white kid gloves 4 showliu in a
turrin tung. Mister JunKy is nobie
Ioekn old man Il orter lead armies on to
battel instid Of showtin in a furrin turg
Adoo. In the iangwldge OF Lewis Naro-
leon when receiving kumpanv at his pa.Iis
on the Bullyvards, Il saloot WI.