The constitutional union., 1860-12-14
NU MBER 6.
-1LL SORTS OF PARAGRAPHS.
Queer kind of loye-Neuralgia affection

| sale of #lS,000.
 Good oxamples-Clocks never run down their neighbors.
 A live eel was seen to fall in shower at Bristol, Rhode Island, lately.
 In legal lingo Greenland may be called L. S-the place of the seal.
 Useless task-trying to persuade your wife to retain pretty maid servant.
 A river, harbor and park police have been established in Philadelphia as in London.
 Simon Lanck, of Newton, Virginia, was killed last Saturday by kick from horse.
 It is estimated that s1O0, ,000 changed hands in Boston on the defeat of Burlingamc
 Is the Prince pIucky? We'll, he faced Ni- agara like a man, but quaied on the pralres.
 Dr. J. W. Woolon, editor of the Washing ton (North Carolina) Dispatch, died on the l l2th ult.
 Every prisoner confined in Eewgate costs the city of London five hundred dollars per auuum
 Death loves Q shining mark" Gentle men with very red noses will please take EarHiog
 WanteI-a good adhesive plaster to make somebody in this place stick to their own ! business.
 What was the ueo of the ecIipse?' asked young hdy. "Oh, it gave the sun time for reflection, replied wag
 The census takers find great difficulty in a-ce2tanjng the ages of girls, large majority of them being only sixteen.
 The difference between fair ladies and ladies fairs is this-the former bos.ege men's hearts, the latter their pockets.
 A lady in a western city adyertises for !" gentleman for breakfast and tea" Does she intend to make only two meals of him!
 It is said that Corwin is negotiating for the purchase of The National Intelligoncer, as the organ of Lincolns administration.
 A lazy fellow lying on the grass, said: "Oh, how 1 wish this was called work, and paid acc2sdiaely.'
 Hazekiah says if his IandIady |" knew beans,' she wouldn't buy the article called " burnt and ground coffee
 Never take morning bitters Morning sweets from the i}s of 8 pretty little wife just before leaving the house arc much better.
 \ wag being asked the name of tbo inven- t. of butter stamps, replied that it was prob ably CaImus, as he first brought letters into Greece.
 Richard IT Coleman, young man, com mi,cl suicide on Sunday night, at the Fir- @nia House, Point Pleasant Virginia by taking opium.
 Ir. Marsh. in his lectures, says that with only eight hundred words one can express everything that ;s expressed in the entire vocabulary Of tE;e Italian opera.
 The Charlottesville Review thinks that tone of the 2ravess blunacys of our revolutionary ioretathers was in fixing the Fourth of July in hot weather
 My dear doctor" sad lady, < suffer great deal with ny eyes" Be patient, mad am. he replied, you would probably suffer a great deal more without them"
 \ Sco.chman asked an Jrishman "why were halfiutAing7 coined in Engand| The answer was, to give Scotchmcn an opportu- nity to subscribe to charitable associations"
 "Why don t your father take newspaper?' said . man to little boy whom hoacaught offering his paper from his doorstep "Coz he sends me to take 1t, was the reply.
 Dieby sat long time very attentively con- sidering caEe-bottom chair. At length, he said; | wonder what fellow took the trou- bic to find all them holes and put straw around them"
 It is said that Hobbs, the famous lock smith, has succeeded in picking one of Ban Quo'a 4ory locks; he did it with a pick-axe, and succeeded 50 well he has gone to work on a welIock.
 \ oockney at a tea party, oyerhearing one lady say to another '' 1 have something for your private ear" exclaimed, II protest against that, for there is law against pri- yateerin@."
 An honest mans the noblest work of the Lord .' enthusiastically exclaimed Hard shell Baptist; and then, after pause, hs added " but the Lord hasn't had job in the world for fifty years. Pass round the sasser."
 Life is short, were the last words of Mir. Ball, IS he stepped on the train, with friend at Francisvlle Indiana last week His foot slipped, and the train being in motion, the next moment he was mangled corpse.
 \ wise man takes all advclsites and mis- fortunes as blessings in disguise. He laughs and is always happy, while the poor complain- ing sinploton tancies happiness to consist in idle pleasures, and never finds it.
 An Irishman had jumped into the water to save d man from drowning, and as reward for lis services, received a six-pence He looked first at the six-pence and then at him, and at ls. exclaimed, be jabers, an Tin over paid for the job"
 The Dutchman who refused to take q one dollar bill because it might be altered from ten, prefers stage travelling to a railroad. The former he says, rides him eight hours for one dollar, while the latter only rides him one. " De people can't sheat me-"
 An old lady from temperance village, lately attended party in town, where, of course, champagne was drank, and she was . | I +,1.> bn