Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1860-12-31
THE DAILY EVENING STAR
w. ID. WALLACH.
MAJOR JACK powNIsG ON SECESSION

HE GIVES HIS OPINION ABOUT MULTIPLICATION,
AND ILLUsTRArES IT WITH LUCID EXAM
PIE.
We produce FOR the benefit Of the present
day and generation the following letter on
nullifoation from the celebrated pen Of Major
Jack Downing
WASHINGTON CRY, Jan. IL, 1888
To the editor Of the Portland Courier, in the
Mariners Church Building, second story,
eastern end, Fore street, away down East In
the State Of Maine.
Ny kiad and dear old Friend The Presi-
dents message to Congress makes cracking
work here. Mr.. Calhoun shows his teeth like
lion. Mr.. MeDufis is cool rs q cucumber,
though they say he's got terrible tempest in
side Of him, that he ii let out before long For
my part / think the Presidents message is
about right. was setting with the President
in the east room last nj ght, chatting about one
thing and another, and the President says he,
Major Downing, have you read my message
that l sent TO Congress to-day 2" told him
/ hadn't. Well says he, "I should like
to have you resd 1t and give me your opinion
upon it," So be handed it to me and set
down and read il through
And when got through, now, says I, Gin
ersl, I'll tell you jest what think of this ere
business. When was youngster some of US
DOwningville boys used to 90 down to Sebago
pond every spring and hire out a month or
two rafting fogs across the pond. And one
time l and cousin Ephraim, and Joel, and Bill
johnson, and two or three more Of US had each
a Wrapping great log to carry across the pond.
1t was rather a windy day, and the waves
kept the logs bObbing up and down pretty con-
siderable bad so we agreed to bring 'em along
side and side and lash EN- together and drive
some thols- pins in the outermOst logs and row
'em over together. We went along two or three
miles pretty we'll. But by and by Bill John
son begun to complain. He was always an un-
easy harumscsrum sort of q chap. Always
thought everybody else had an easier time
than he had, and when he was a boy, always
used to be complaining that the other boys
had more butter on their bread than he had.
Well, Bill was rowing on the leeward side, and
he begun to fret, and said his side went the
hardest, and be wouldn' give US any peace till
one Of Us changed sides with him.
Well, Bill hadn't rowed bat a little way on
the Windward side before he begun to fret
again, and declared that side went harder than
'tOther, and he wouldn't touch to row on that
side any longer. We told him he had his
choice, and he shouldn't keep changing 30.
But he only fretted the more and begun to get
mad. At last he declared if we didn't change
with him in five minutes, he'd cut the lashings
and take his and paddle off alone. And before
We had hardly time to turn round, he declared
the five minutes were out, and up Ratchet and
cut the lashings, and away went Bill on his
log, bobbiug and rolling about, and dancing
like monkey to try to keep on the opposite
side. The rest Of US ssrabbled to well rs we
could, and fastened our logs together again,
though We had tough match for il, the wind
blew so hard. Bill hadn't gone but little
way, before his log begun to role more and
more, and by and by he went splash, head and
ears. He came up putting and blowing, and
got hold Of the log and tried to climb up on to
IL; but the more he tried the more the log
rolled; and finding it would be gone goose with
him pretty soon if be stayed there, he begun
TO sing out like loon for us 10 come and tako
him. We asked him which side he would row
If we would take his log into the raft again.
D, says Bill, I'll row on either side or both
sides if you want me to, if you ii only come and
help me before sink.
But, said the President. hope You didn't
help the foolish rascal out till he got pretty
good soaking He got soaked enough before we
got to him, says /, for he was Jest ready 10 sink
for the last time, and our logs come pesky near
getting scattered, and if they had, we should
all gone TO the bottom together. And now
Gineral, this is jest what think: if you let
South Carolina cut the lashipgs you'll see such
log rolling in this country you Deyer see
yet. The old Ginersl started up and marched
across the floor like a boy. Saws he, Msior
Downing, she shan't cut the Iassings while my
name is Andrew jackson. Tell Sargent Joel
20 have his company sleep on their arms every
night. told him they should be ready at
moments warning
I wish you would Jest give cousin Ephraim
up TO Augusta jog TO know why be don't
write to me and let me know how the Legisla-
ter is getting along.
remain your loving friend,
Major JACK DOWNING.