Brookville American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1858-1861, 1860-03-02
Gonteits Of the s tissprs.
Ny wife and I.


Towhleh she replied, AZ The donkey she spieJ,
sAh, yes, relatlon--ny AARRiAeEl"
- r<a- Virtue Is like rich stone, best
plant set.
to- II you are lost in fog, what are
you most likely TO beg Mist, of course.
r<a- That man lacks moral courage
who treats whom he should retreat.
by Some Jrishmcn propose to have
a wake over tle edead of night"
rs- prize.fghters are unreliable
wori<men, being always on strike.
s0- Good nature is moro priced than
tho greatest beauty or keenest wit.
BEs- A new namo for the I.eviathan-
"Tho Great Astern."
rg- Smoking cures hogs and kills
men.
rea- Life is beautiful night, in which
as some stars 60 down others rise.
Bsr Ladies, like horses, the gayer the
harness the better they feel.
se5>Pompey, what you doin' dare?
Fishin' What dat in your mouf Moth
in but wo'ms for bait.
ray- Many man follows drinking
until he has neither coat to his back
or-his stomach.
rSy~ Where the heart is not won, nor
the eyes pleased, the mind will be sci
dom on our side.
rsa- Tallow- chandlcrs are n sympa-
thc:ic set for they are frequently in the
melting mood.
No. When you attend the Episcopal
Church keep look out for the main
chants.
r65- The lash that man docs not OBJ
ject to having laid on his shouIders--tho
eye-lash of a pretty girl.
reS- Red haired men ought TO make
the best troops, because they always
carry their firc-iocks on their shoulders.
s1- What did blind wood sawyer
take to-restore his sight? lilo took his
horse, and sar.
n1- How-to make an ear-ring-Takc
thirty grains of quininc. This fact
viii be Of great Importance to Jewel
ces5- Deaths invitation is n horrid
nervous sort of thing--worso than put
ting on new hat and going into com
pany.
rz- A Yankee out in Iowa has Just
invented wooden horse that will Jump
thirty miles an hour. The motive pow
CIR is bag of feas-
bs5~ An freshman bong asked in court
for his certificate of marriage, showed
big scar on his head, about the shape
eta Shovel, which was satisfactory.
PEE Life would be perpetual flea
hunt if one were to run down all the
insinuations, untruths, and suspicious
that are started.
eS- A Western paper speaks Of n
man who sdied without the aid of "A
physician" Such instances Of death
are very rare.
pa~ American Provcrb-Sherry cob
bier mends no shocs.-Tmch. Punch
is the cause of many people having no
shoes to mend.
zIa5- Mecrsehaum pipes, it is said are
made out of the foam of the sea. The
manufacture Of them, therefore, must
beas surge zeal operation.
> pa PUFFs.-Mr. Snipe has left bot
tie of sour water in our Office, with the
request to notice it as lemon beer. If
Esau was green enough to sell his birth
right for mess Of pottagc, we shall not
tell four shilling lie for five cents.
R5- II takes a member of the Illinois
Legislature a considerable time to get
a Al. l.
dollar a day and pays two for board
The rest he is expected to give to the
poor.
pn-A gentleman Of our acquaintance
created quite sensation few evenings
since while reading to circle of young
ladies poetic effusion-"To Il beautiful
Belle" by pronouncing the latter word
in two syIlables.
sg A man was arrested in Virginia,
a few days since, and on being inform
ed that be was suspected of having
been engaged in the emeutc at Harp
er's Ferry, replied that he s'didn't know
Harper, nor where he kept his id old
ferry" lie was acquitted.
n@- The friends of celebrated wit
expressed some surprise that, with his
age and his fondness for the bottle, he
should have thought it necessary to
marry "a wife was necessary" he
said; Tiny acquaintances began to
say that drank too much for single
man.
Ddr A parson cornercd farmer whom
he had seldom seen at his ministration,
by asking him directly after ~ little re-
proof of his sin OF omission
Shall we see you at church next Sab
bath2
Yes he replied slowly, Eyes, I'll
go or send hand.
~ A Nebraska paper gives the fol-
lowing to illustrate chow they vote in
Nobraska:. --.fl
A locofoco came up to the poll, and
voted in his blowse; stepped aside, ex-
changed the blowse for an overcoat and
voted again; passed back, took off his
coat and voted in his shirt sleeves; went
ont and in. few moments returned in
n citizcn's dress and voted the fourth
time; then got an old hat, n ragged, dir
ty coat, and came up and voted tho
fifth time
sd5- One of the greatest speeches on
record is the following, describing the
destruction of meeting house by flood.
"A few short weeks ago, and you saw
the stately Westinghouse towering up
in your midst like a grannydear in