The Grand Haven news. [volume] (Grand Haven, Mich.) 1858-18??, 1860-05-02
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.
-" Look out for paint" as the girl
said when fellow went to kiss her.

| - VINO Is tne greatest llar lie who
speaks most of himself.
- In what suit does a man fevof feel
comfortables In a lawsuit.
= Why are hoops like church towers :
Because they surround the bells (belles}
= Exchange is no robbery. If you
go out to patty, put your Oldest hat on.
= We should never talk to please our
selves, but those who hear us.
= Dreams are pegs for superstition
and romance to hang their cloaks on.
- He that runs against Time has an
antagonist not subject TO casualties.
- Be not so bigotcd to any custom rs
to worship it at the expense Of truth.
= Affectation infects the good quail
lies both of body and mind.
= 1t Is no part of wisdom to be mis-
cradle to-day because We may be to-mor-
row.
- In what ship have the greatest
number of men been wrecked? Court
ship.
Did you ever know widow who
wouldn't get married second time-if
she could!
- Did you over know widower TO let
the girls alone till the year of dcccncy"
was over?
- The pleasantest things in tile world
are pleasant thoughts, and the greatest
art in life is to have as many of them as
possible.
- a gentleman in Richmond, Va, is
about to take out chemical preparation
which renders woolen or Gotten goods i'm
pervious to water.
- The human heart like feather bed,
must be roughly handled, well shaken
and exposed to a variety of turns, to pre-
vent its becoming hard.
- There is lady at Taunton, so
handsome and so proud that she says
there is only one thing in the world worth
looking at, and that is-a mirror.
- The miscliievous winkingof beau
tiful coquelte from under n smart hood,
Prentice thinks, is pleasant kind ofhood-
winking.
- Professor Agassiz, according to the
Boston Journal, is greatly afflicted with
weakness Of the eyes, and prosecutes his
scientific labors with much difficulty.
- 1t is stated that twcnty-thousand
Swedes and Norwegians arc preparing TO
embark carly in the coming summer for
the United States.
= Charley = Why, Gus, amt you
going TO the party to-nightl'
Gus : No, all, l guess not. You
see there's no trusting ones self among
the women now, it's leap year."
- One day last week a young woman,
daughter of II. Bice, of Bridgehampton,
Michigan, shot wildcat which weighed
thirty-four and n half pounds. She's
able 10 "whip her weight in wildcats"
The women of Poland have q
watchful eye over their daughters, and
make them wear little bells on their per-
sons, to denote where they are and what
they are about.
= The Academy of Sciences of Paris
occupied part of its last sitting in dis
cussing the question whether there still
remained any bears in the county Of
Michigan, United States.
- The hot air engine has been so i'm
proved that it is now of great practical
value, where small power is required.
There are at least one hundred sewing
machines operated by it in New York
city. Sewing by motive power! What
n world.
- A Yankee Traveller, describing a
doughnut of unusually large proportions,
which he purchased in Buffalo, says, at
was one of those stupendqous achieve
merits III arts which are oriy attempted
in the vicinity of great works of nature,
like Niagara Falls"
= Mr.. Green sued lady for breach Of
promise, and her friends offered him two
hundred dollars TO settle it. "What!"
cried Green, "two hundred dollars for
ruined hopes, a shattered mind, a blasted
life, and a bleeding heart! Never but
make it three hundred dollars, au its
bargain"
"Say, stranger, for acquaintance
sake, what might be your namcG" inquir
ed Hoosier, on meeting burly gentle
man.
"Me name9 Wy shoorly un its Haunes
Observation-Disclosures
Says Hoosier, "in the name Of black
snakes and June bugs, what is il in Eng
lish y
"Vy, Shon Schmidt"
= The finest idea of n thunder storm
is when Wiggins came homo tight He
came into the room whore his wife and
daughters were, and just then no stunl-
bled over the cradle and fell whop on the
floor. After short time he rose and
said: "Wife, arc you hurt = "No.
"Girls, are you hurtr "No." Ter
III IL. ..,o.,,,t "A %