Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1860-10-26

All know is, know Nothing,
And Nothing ever shall be;
And that Al ,h.. .hng: EosS;ns end IN J, Nothing
AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF A LAWYER.
I believe started life under the auspices
Of my fathers aunt, Deborah, maiden lady
of sixty -four, who, in the place of the father
and mother whom l never saw, alternately
patted'me and scolded me as long as she was
able. I escaped from both when eleven years
old by running away; and although she sent
ME innumerable messages when she discov-
cred my whereabouts, to return to her, and
be sent to school and fitted for college, un-
dutifully refused yer to go near her again.
! naa "hired OUT with small farmer to
do his chores for my board and clothes,
and stayed three years, at the end Of which
time my moving propensities moved me to
run off from him. had made my arrange
ments, and was even mounted on the top Of
the Reading stage, when who should come
into the tavern yard but the farmer.
"Where are you going, boyy" he called
out in a hard and severe tone.
"To Boston, sir"
"To Boston, ~
l cannot describe the manner in which he
said this; but it woke up all the memories
Of fogging which left scars yet, have not
time to tell you how many more than the
immortal Fusbos had. He was a coarse, pro.
fame man, and he launched out into strain
Of abuse which would have made my blood
chill if | had been afraid of him, and bade
me instantly 60 home.
! "Thank you, sir" said, II am engaged
to somebody else
At this moment the stage started. He Or
dered the driver to stop and let me down
but he drove on, and am almost ashamed
to record that made significant gesture
with my thumb and finger upon my very
decent Roman nose, and calling OUT
Good by sir-you shall hear from me
some day." went off in the exultant tri-
l was delighted with the fine prospect
which enjoyed in my elevated seat The
driver was very kind to me, refusing to take
my money for the whole journey, and offer
ing to find me stopping place in the city.
At that time there was very old house
in Howard street, now demolished, in which
a Mr.. Jones kept boarders for a number OF
years. Here he stopped the stage for me to
get down.
"What shall do driver?'' I said.
"Justring that bell, my lad, he answered,
land somebody will come and letiyou in"
looked up to the top Of the door.
81 don't see any bell, sir" said timidly.
The man burst into loud laugh.
| Pull that knob, greeny" he said; and
straightway pulled it again and again, until
Mr.. Jones, queer looking fellow, with one
leg and dilapidated eye, came to the door,
and looked daggers out of his remaining orb
| nf Al l,,o L.
broken his bell wire
Let that yonngster stay with you and
mamma, Jones, till come to supper" said
the still laughing driver; and stayed.
1 Mamma Jones, is lady that would have
Sheltered beneath her capacious wings,
could bid defiance to little Mr.. Jones, who
dared not attack anything that his wife might
take fancy for petting. This knowledge
together with the daily sight of my old friend,
the driver kept me happy through the win.
! ter. secured knives, and performed quite
a series of similar diiigs!fied labors every morn
ing; but when boys Of my own age were
around, sometimes thought while icccking
at their good and respectable clothing, that
it would not have been bad plan for me to
have accepted Aunt Beborah's offer of send
in me to college.
An opportunity offering to 60 to sea, pre-
pared to go, despite the entreaties and tears
Of the fat lady. When she found me deter
mined, she provided me with everything
needful for voyage, hugged me to her ca.
pacious heart, and badc me God speed
Jones, who was so angry because I stayed
there, was still more sd when went away
and in his wife's absence taunted her of my
new clothes, which he more than half sus-
pected came from her, although they passed
as the gift of the stage driver.
/ The servants were assembled to see me 20
away, and their hearty good bye, Sam A
safe return to you, old fellow p was proba.
bly, more sincere than nine-tenths of the good
wishes that have been spoken to me since
| that time.
shall say but very little about my sea
life. 1t did not answer my expectations at
all. never passed day without intolerable
seasickneSs, and being light, delicate bow.
the captain advised me as friend to stav in
future upon land. Going on shore, the mate
stepped forward and shook my hand, say
ing -
"Well, Sam, you have killed sailor, after
allr
did not then know the meaning of this
phrase, but when got back to the Old house
in Howard street, my friend. the driver, re.
peated it, and from him got the explanation
Of the term.
could not get back to the kitchen to work
again aft my voyage, SO looked diligently
for some employment. An advertisement in
the paper for printers boy caught nv eve.
and applied and was received Here was
quite happy; made myself favorite in the
Office, and fortunately succeeded in learning
the business so that my services would com.
mand fair remuneration.
At twenty-onc married Susan Russell.
the daughter Of my employer. am thus
brief IN recording this, because by no alchemy
whatever could convert the old-fashioned
matter-off ct liking for each other and sub-
sequent union into anything like romance
The whole might be compressed into single