M'arthur Democrat. (McArthur, Vinton County, Ohio) 1853-1865, 1860-01-26
Pulpit Wiz.

Pulpit wit.
In Pennsylvania there is a clergy
man almost as remarkable for elo-
quence and eccentricity as Lorenzo
Dow himself. On charity occasions
his pathos, wit AMI sometimes bitter
satire, are sure to win moro bank
notes and gold coin to the State than
the decorOus eloquen,e OF half a dozen.
other men. On late occasion, lie was
preaching a temperance sermon, which
produced unusual effect on the audi
ence. Among other things, he as"
serted, as a result Of his own observa.
ton, that a confessediy ''molerate'
drinker" was sure to become a con-
irmed inebfiate within five years af-
ter he reached that state ofindulgeuce.
He was interrupted here by a man
in the audience, who started up in
great excitement, proclaiming himself
moderate dlinker often years sta i'd
ing, and one on whom the habit made
no progress. IN
The clergyman stopped shore, lean
ed over the pulpit, and VIII N The man
had ceased speaking, callel out:
81 say, friend, stand up here and let
me have look at you"
The man made an effor! to brave
the host Of eyes turned upon him, aud
stood his ground.
NEARER, man!" cried the minister,
beckoning with his long finger
"Hold a light up to this brothers face
some of you"
The moderate drinker was not to be
looked down or talked down; he not
only mounted the bench, but allowed
a lamp to be held close to his face.
The minister bent over his cushion,
and gave the face long survey.
THAT will do" said he, drawing
back, "that will do, my friend; aud
now I say, If owed the devil a debt
of a hundred drunkards, and had Iaid
him ninety. mine, and he would int take
you in full payment at the end OF five
years, would never pay him." N''"
LOLA MoNTEz's IDEA OF ENGLIsH
GALLANTRY--LovE FOUNDED ON MANI
MoN.-lr a recent lecture on John,
Bull, Lola remarked that in domestic
and social lite she found the English
very admirable and praiseworthy.-
The love OF money however is great.
The Scotchman would love his bonnie
lassie because she was bonnie. The
lrishman would love his lass for her
beauty and accomplishments;bu but John
Bull would rather love her if she had
gold in her purse and lands Tor her
dover. Observation had shown her
everywhere that money inspired affec-
ton. The gentry and nobility of
England for the most part practiced the
most refined and the most wicked arts
OF gallantry. To win the all, ctiOus of
Il young and artless girl and leave her
to misery, was matter OF bOa5ting at
their clubs. .I
At some watering g.placo the villain
would begin his campaign. The poor
gill would be fat;ered by what my
lord would say. She has read in nov
els Of condescension on the part ofthe
high-bCrn to love such as herself, and
she expected to become a great lady.
In this way she becomes an easy vic.
tim. These II g were the fashion,
able amusenents ot the wealthy in
England. In fact it was common
pastime with them. She had seen in
Now York papers advertisements for
wives, which she regarded as nets on
ly to catch some foolish girl. To see
the reign of the mighty god Cupid in
all his greatness aud glory, they sho'd
visit winter watering place in Eng
land, where liverdscased people, as
yellow as their gaineas, went to re-
cruit their health. Here daughters,
especially such as were somewhat
paSSs, were bargained off to the old
gents who had returned from The In,
dies with gold and disease. John
Bull at home iu England, and Brother
Jonathan at home in New England,
were the same beings, modified by To-
cal changes.
SWALLOWED A Hole. The other
day Jimmy, four years old, found one
of those trimmed circles, which,
believe, ladies call eyelets, and while
playing in the garden, swallowed if.
The family were in the house busily
engaged with work on entomology,
when Jimmy ran in, with mouth wide
open and eyes distended to their ut
most capacity. His mother caught
him by the arm, and trembling with
that deep anxiety which only a mother
can feel, inquired: 5.a"e poo
"What is the matter! what has
happened ?" i,lo
"Water!" gasped little Jimmy,
nearly scared to death - Hi1 il