Clearfield Republican. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1851-1937, 1860-10-31
A Dutchman in Trouble-A Rich Sketch
ny WILL RAYMOND.

One afternoon, about year since, was
comfortably seated after a hard days Ia
Dor, heels over the CRATE, and cigpr in
mouth, thinking of matters and things i'm
general, and of the fair partner who dane
ed that last set" with me, i'm particular,
when my privacy was intruded upon bv Il
short but stout individual, habited in
coarse shoes, corduroy pants, of ample
pattern, and "brass coat with blue but
tons" Imagine to yourself the owner of
these habiliments, and TO his outfit very
small cap and u very large moustache, al
so, pipe with a crooked stem and boEt
capaclous enough TO contain half pound
of fire cut at least and you will probably
arrive at the same conclusion did, name
| ly that the intruder was OF the Teutonic
persuasion He appeared to be some
what excited, and without any unnectssa-
ry formality, removed his pipe, and broke
in abruptly with "Er you der man what
brints der Newspaper"
Not exactly" said |, but if you wish
to favor the public with communication
on any subject, viii perhaps be able to
accommodate you"
"Yaw, dat is goot said he. ''vell den,
dells YOU Ven | cooms TO dis guntry !
NblNo Oll ~ III ulTlN llllCS. ODe lllAb
der old man sends nit me to town some
dings for the market-hause, und stops at
der tavern round der corner to get some
lager unit dere shpoke init lutfly Amer
lean iraulein, unit ge.s N love init her,
unit dells her got goot farm dirty mile,
unit ak her if she luff me sometimes, unit
she say yaw unit gets married nit her
one time next week. Dat is goot. Ven
she 20 NIT me to der guntry unit tints l
got no farms she get mad like tousand'
devils, unit gals me Deutch hoombug,
unit dells me | cannot sleep nit her room,
and dreats me so bad deils her she don't
luff me any more dimes. Den | goes like
tam fools unt sphents eighty tollars nit
good clothes unit pring hupes unit dings,
and all der times she don't love me yet,
but goes erway in der night dimes while
shleeps out doors nit der barn. Next day
cooms here in der wagon, uni / meets
her OH der road we're she gifts tired NIT
walking, und ! dakes her in, unit ven she
rides she luhs me some more. But ven
she cooms to der tavern NIT me she laughs
unit calls me greeny, unit says | might go
home unit eat some more sourkrout. Nelt
den, mein Gott, gets mad NIT her"
No doubt" said |, "my friend. But
what do you expect me to do in the mat.
ter? If sne has made up her mind not
to love you after, spending eighty dollars
for hoops and things | don't see how 1t
can be remedied."
"Vell, den," said he, 81 dells you. You
brint in der baper dat nopody drusts hey
any more times nit me, unit bays no
more moneys. Ven gets him, hey"
"WhaJ is your name ?" said |. 'Where
do you want paper sent"
"You send him to Hans Schneider
windt, in der post Office, INT gets him
prepared the notice, read it to him,
and taxed him dollar, without eliciting
any other comment than 'Yaw, dat is
goot. shpends ono oder dollar, but git'
married NIT tam Yankee frau no more
dimes; Mein Gott" He then took
from his capacious vest pocket match,
lighted his pipe, and took his departure.
smoking with a yigor which hope con-
soled him.
Soul ENGRAvIyGs.-E Everybody is an ar
tst. We have not the gifted hand and
genius hand which can make the cold
marble seem almost to breathe with life
We are "Soul Engravers" And the CHS
ell Of the artist wears not more effectively
upon the marble block than tie LITTLE
chisel of our influence upon the souls
which surround us. How careful the ar
tst is that each touch shall perfect and
not deface his york Shall we not de
sire the impression Of our chisel to be for
good and not for evil ?" When the Ia
oor of the sculptor is rewarded his beau
t;G,,1 -. -, ,.l,,nl i,, "a GtHap,
pie of Arts" here an admirinE worG'
gazes upon it, until the destroying hand
of time crumbes it TO dust But the
souls which our chsels are helping to.
mould, have a higher destiny to fulfil
Their life is immortal, and is given them
10 prepare to dwell in mansions "eternat
in the Heavens"
Ny USCLE's ADvICE.-"H said my
uncle, zone can be moral without being
Tut don't believe in any mau's
religion divorced from morality. How
may shed the penitential tear, you may
pray like Paul, you may work like Nehe
miah, you may have the courage Of Nose
or Il Faith of Abraham, but if you don't
pan yo,r debts, Henry, you dishonor reli
gion in the sight of the word. Pay what
utUlS you luCNI' Hlu ''oll Y 'hINl u'O'
You cant paw. Neoer treat moHsV Affairs
,Oah lecdy Mind that, Henry. IL is tho
love of Money that's the root Of all evil
But your Master in his poverty, wrought
a miracle in order 10 pay his dues"
tlss~A young bachelor, who had beew
appointed deputy sheriff, was called to
serve an attachment against a beautiful.
young widow. lie accordingly called up-
on her and said, Madam, / have an at
tachment for you.
The widow blushed and said she was
happy to inform him that his attachmens
was reciprocated.
you do not understand me you musi
proceed to court
Il know it is leap year, sir, but prefer
YOU would do the courting.'
Mrs p, this no time for trifling, the
Justice is waiting
The justice Why, should prefer =