Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1860-01-20
FACT, FUN AND FANCY.

NJ no conquers Incidence Will con-
quer all the rest
CT In the choice of wife, take the
obedicnt daughter of a good mother.
Gg- To hear, to understand, and to
bring forth fruits, are the three grand
evidences of genuine believer.
EFT (Which can travel the fastest,
heat or cold 2" "Why, heat you Ounce !
Can't anybody catch cold !"
Gs' An Irishman went into cooper
shop, and asked for an empty barrel of
-four, to make his dog hen coop.
G1-"There's brandy smash I" as the
wag said, when a drunken man fell
through pane Of glass.
RI" The soul of liberty is the love Of
law, says the German philosOphic Klap-
stock.
Es- When an cxtravagant friend wish
es to borrow your money, consider which
OF the two you would rather lose.
&c He that cannot forgive Others
breaks down the bridge over which he
must pass himself; for every man hath
need to be forgiven
LABOR AND OATS. -Idleness is the
mother of mischief; the moment horse
IS done eating his oats, he turns to and
gnaws down his manger.
Es- Mamma" said promising
youth of some four or five years, "if all
people are made of dust, aiu't nigcers
made of coal dustY'
Ess- It is a common saying of NOR
alists, that the lower order of animals
have not the vices of man, yetitis certain
that some of the insects are L,tck5itcrs,
and all the quadrupeds are tqle-Jearers.
re- An exchange paper says, 'If you
would keep your children iu health,
give them plenty of fresh air" This is
well enough; but nowadays children
put on SO many airs of their own, that il
is almost impossible to give them fresh
one every day.
Ee- A census-taker once called upon
the mother of family in California, and
asked her how many children she had
The mother replied that ttaro was one
thing Of which she was certain, "tbat
the measles got among the children once,
but there wasn't enough to go round.
Dun FATHER. The little word
" Father" saith Luther, isped forth in
prayer by a child of God, exceeds the
cloquence of Demosthenes, Cicero, and
all the other famed orators Of the world
Ii q man be not interested in Christ, he
may perish with Our Father" in his
mouth. Brooks.
RE- At christening while the min
lister was writing the certificate, he hap
pened to say-"lIet me see, this is the
SOth, meaning the day of the month -
The thirtieth !" exclaimed the indig-
nant mother, indeed it's only the elev-
enth,"
E&r Imaginary evils soon become real
ones, by INDUCING in our reflections on
them; as he, who in a melancholy fancy
= sees something like a. face on the wall or
the wainscot, can by two or three touches
with lead pencil, make it look visible
and agreeing with what he fancied.
Es- "I'm very sorry" said learned
Judge to young woman, who hesitated
much IN giving some very unpleasant
evidence, Il am very sorry to have to
enforce such an explanation as this; it
must of course, be painful to any decent
person, but The ends Of Justice require
it and not only so, but all the we'll
dressed females you see on either side
of me, have come long way to hear
that which pains you so to utter"
Es- A clergyman in a New Hamp-
shire pulpit, having with great eloquonce,
urged his congregation to abstain, on
Thanksgiving day, from all labor and
all business pursuits, and to attend church
in the forenoon, concluded with this
touching appeal
"lf any of the brethren are at leisure
IN the afternoon, should DO pleased to
see them at my house, as ! intend to
take that opportunity, should friends
enough assemble, to more my barn Z"
NJ OOtOutA ptuhti u pTuctlSlDR law
yer, and Doctor Mason, a practising
physician, were rival candidates for the
Senate, and were stamping the district
together. DR.. Mason was a warm adj
vocate for law reform, and, in arguing
its necessity, he referred to certain case
in which his competitor had been non
Suited upon some technicality. "Now,"
said DR.. Mason, "we need to have the
law reformed, or Col. Stone is incom-
petent to bring a suit corrocily-he can
take either horn of the dilemma"
Colonel Stone replied: +" Follow-citi-
zens, the Doctor has the advantage of
me. When make mistake in my
profession, he has only to go to the rec
ords Of the court and find it and publish
it to the world; but when he makes a
mistake IN his profession he buries IT
six feet under ground !"
The people appreciated the lawyer
ready wit, and forgaye him the blundcr
charged upon him for the sake Of the
clever retori he mado Of the doctors ok