davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1860-05-05
An Extra Passenger,

An amusing scene took place on the
steamer Baltimore, joe, as she was leav-
ing for Cleveland. A rough-looking ge-
Mus came aboard with bull ldog at his
heels. Walking directly into The office,
the individual said 10 the clerk:
"Strsr ger. want TO leave NY Cog in
this Office ill the boat starts; I'm afraid
somebody will steal him"
lyon can't do it," said the clerk; take
him out"
well, stranger, thal's cruel; but yon
are both disposliioned alike and he's kin
der company for you"
"Tske him out" roared the clerk.
"WelI, stranger. don't think you're
honest. and you want watching. Here,
Bull; SIT down here aud watch thai fellow,
sharp;" and The individual turned oil his
heel. saying-"Put bin out, stranger il
he's Troublesome"
The dog lay there when he boat start
ed. the clerk giving hin the better half
OF his Office.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1860-05-05
ACROSTIC.

The following acrosuc on Benedict Ar
mold. formerly published in a London pa.
per, is, without exception, one OF the
most severe comments ever passed upon
the character of any man. There is
scarcely a word but what is fraughl with
the bitterest denunciaiion
Born for curse TO virtue and mankind.
EaI.h's broadest realms can! show SO
black mind
Nights sable veil your crimes can never
hide,
Each one. so great. would glut historic
tide;
Defunct, your cursed memory will live
In all the gl are tha, infsmy can give;
Curses of ages will attend your uame--
Traitors alone will glory in your shame.
Almighty vengeance sternly waits 10 roll
Rivers of sulpher on your treacherous
soul
Nature looks back. with conscious error.
sad,
On such tarnished blot that she has
made.
let he'll receive you, rivs,ed in chains,
Doom TO The hottest focus of lis flames !"
Cincinnati is the Hamburg of America,
and Tie neairopoiis Of The WesL
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1860-05-05
Sharp.

Muggins has a sharp porter. Thi-
chap returned from the post Office the 9th
er day with Muggn's papers, and inform.
ed that individual that there was letter
in the post office that he couldn't get.
"Couldn't getil; Why couldn't you
get it, you stupid 2
"Thcre's five cents TO pay on it."
"Why didn'tyo pay for - asked
Muggins with Indignation.
81 hadn't cents enough - replied the
urchiD, grinning archly.
"You fool - said Muggins. slorming
"here take this five cents and get that lei.
ter in Ilitle less than no time !!
mo use, tell you, replied the fellow,
they Won't let me have it,"
"The dickens they wont-rd like 10
know the reason 2
"Becase," replied the fellow, looking
back 10 see that The door was open, "be-
case the letter vaSnf for you."
The chap relrealed from The room sud
denly, while an ink-stand followed bis
noggin, at speed of about 81 40
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1860-05-05
anteone aouernu Aora Agriculture m ono 5nfes ao
SHEPHERDSTOWN JEFFERSON COUNTY, VA, SATURDAY MORNING
Hints to Young Ladies.


Don't make a cOnfdante Of The first
Interesting young lady you meet. A wo-
man can't keep a secret any more than a
seive can hold water, and Ten 10 one she i
tell the whole story to the sister OF the
nice young man in question. Then you
can imagine the consequences
Don't sit down 10 your crochet work
or embroidery unless you have first men
ded that hole in your stocking. No use
crowding il under the heel OF your shoe
rags, like murder, will out; and they
speak with terribly loud voices, and al
Iinconvenient seasons, sometimes.
Don't undertake TO write skim milk
poetry when you feel Iiule disposed to-
ards enthusiasm. Go and do a kind
action. or speak an encouraging word TO
somebody, if the feeling must have vent.
Depend upon ii, you'll be better satisfied
alerward.
Don't pretend TO be angry because gen.
tlemen have the audscity to look at yon
when you promnade Broadway in your
best bonnet What do you GO there for,
if not TO he seen :! The more you affect
indignation the more The offended wretch
es wont believe it.
Don't pay thirty or forty dollars for
the aforesaid bonnet, and then complain
that "Pa" is in such narrow circumslan'
ces you can't afford to give twenty-five
cents in charity
Don'i ca, blue and yellow candies the
whole time, like a mouse nibbling al a
pine apple cheese, and then lament be-
cause you haven't any appetite for din.
ner.
Don't ask beardess boy what school
he attends, and whether he prefers kites
or marbles, unless you are certain he is
neither "rsiUg young lawyer" nor a
member of the Legislature.
Don't keep gentleman waiting half an
hour, when he calls, while you put on
lace and ribbons, and arrange curls; he
isn't a fool, whatever you may think on
lie subject. and will probably form his
own ideas upon your original appear
ance.
Don't run and hide like a frigh ened
rabbit, when gentleman puts his head
into room where you are sweeping or
busting. If there's anything 10 be
ashamed Of in the business, why do you
DO i,
Don't proclaim 10 the world that you
can't exist without six Paris bonnets in a
year, and that life would be a burden
without an opera box and diamonds, and
Ihen wonder Iltat The young men "sheer
off !"
And above all. when some one does
propose, doh'tsay no when you mean
yes He may take you atyour word !!
If you follow all ;aese precepts you
NAV one day succeed in getting married,
and lha: you know, is the summit of all
earthly ambition
Mrs. GEoRGE WAsHINGToN WYLEYs.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1860-05-05
To Get Rich,

You pine for wealth. Do you know
what il is you seek. The millions Of
John Jacob Aslor gave him only living ;
aud so far he was no better of than you.
BuI you say you have load Of anxielies
for Ire future, you may get nothing laid
up for old age, AMI your children will be
beggars. Very true. But the cares in.
cidtnt 10 large estate are quite harassing
and of the two you spend fewer sleePless
nights than the millionaire. 1t is true
people bowed to him, but tley respect
y0u as much. All bat you long for his
splendid house, his costly equiPage or his
sumptuous table. So the beggar envies
y0u the every day luxUries which have
grown so common from long use that you
think nothing OF then. The rich man
would give thousands for your appetite.
Ride in his carriages and you would be
glad TO walk again. Take our word for
II that, however your condition may diff
Ter faom that of others, we have all the
same chances Of happiness, and that
your felicity whether you are rich or
poor-depends wholly "n yourself. A
mind in content is more PrinceIy than fine
gold.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1860-05-05
Armed Rebellion In Ohio.

The following is the return made by
u. S. Marshall Tor northern Ohio, on a
warran, directing that he should arrest
and bring 10 the bar Of the Senate, John
Brown, jr., for refusing to appear and les
ufy. before The Investigating Committee
of The Senate, on the Harper's Ferry in
vasi0n:
The within warrant was received by
me on the I9'h of February, 1860, and
steps were Immediately taken by me TO
serve the same. ascertained that the
said Brown was in the county Of Ashla-
bula, Ohio. here he sill remains and
who, with his friends, constantly bearing
arms, proclaim and declare that he shall
not be arrested, and defy the authorities.
That Owen Brown. brother Of said John
and one Coppic. being fugitives from JUS
ice from the Stale of Virginia, are now
with The said John Brown in Ashtabula
county. They. with the said John
Brown. say that there is no safety in Can
ada. nor any section of the United States
except in Ashiabula county, where there
is a secret and armed organization num-
beriug several hundred. 10 oppose aud re-
sist. as they and their associates declare,
unto death, every effort that may be made
from any quarter. and especially by the
Government Of the United States TO arrest
them or either Of them. Supposing that
| have no authority to call out an armed
force 10 execute said writ, am compelled
TO return the same not executed, for the
reasons above stated. Without the EN-
ploymen, of an armed force. the said John
Brown cannot be arrested. Should au-
,hority be given me 10 call ont the neces-
ssry force, have DO doubt of my ability
to make his arrest. and compel a compli-
ancs with the law.
NJ. JOHNSON.
Subscribed and sworn 10 before me this
Cd OF April, 1860.
Fl. o. WILSON
United States District Judge.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1860-05-05
Massacre at Rome.


giving full details OF the late massacre at
Rome, by the Papal gend' 'aImes. One
hundred and foriy-seven persons were
either killed or wounded. A number ol
ladies were Injured, and the American
Vice Consul received a stab in the side
Several of the French military, of OF duty
were also wounded.
The disturbance occurred on the l9th
uli,, on which day there was TO be grand
promenade demonstration on the outside
of tie Portra PIa., in honor OF Joseph
Garribaldi, and in commemorallon Of the
annexation Of Central 10 Upper Italy.
The government consequently gave orders
for that long road 10 be strongly occupied
by deiachmenis of horse and foot gend'-
armerie. These dispositions, however,
had The effec, Of checking the demonstra-
ton and some thousands Of the pIomena'
ders resorted to the Corso instead, where
great numbers of them appeared with bum
ches of volels in their bultoD-holes. The
patrols OF gend' 'armes, who had orders to
parade The Corso, took umbrsge al this
symbol. and insisted upon the promena-
ders walking instead of taking each 9th
er's arms. So strange demand o! course
brought on, in come cases, unpleasant re-
joinders and the gend' armes, unaccus-
toned TO admit Of any reply to their high
behests, proceeded 10 make some arrests
upon the Piazza Colonna, which were
resisted by the people as on jnst and arbl-
trary, The gend' 'armes drew their
swords, and conhic, would have taken
place then and there had no. French
officer interfered, and, reasoning with the
gend armes, induced them 10 give up the
prisoners. TIE people took this as a
triumph. and the gendarme skulked of
amidst universal Kissing. They lost no
time in making their complaint at head
quarters, and quarter Of an hour later
patrol of horse gendarmerie entered the
Piazza di PeIra, while strong detach'
uent of foot gendarmere issued from The
police office to The Monte CitoIio Palace
on the other side. These TWO forces
then, with drawn swords, made a com
bined attack upon the unarmed people on
the Piazza Colonna, and in the Corso,
striking right and left. turning back carrla-
ges. knocking down foot passengers, men,
women and children, ordering the safes
TO be closed and house doors shut, and IN
lact running complete muck. 1t may
be imagined what panic was produced
by this unexpected rufianism. The peo-
pIe seemed terror stricken, and those who
were not quick enough in essping from
The side streets were prostraled by the
remorseless sabres of the gendarmes.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1860-05-05
G5JJG GN4Ja4 ~ 8OUIo
The Humboldt Bay Massa ere.

Tie California papers contain further
particulars Of the iiendiSh massacre Of In,
Gians at Humboldt bay. by some of the
while residents Of Humboldt county, Cal
i.orna. A correspondent of the San
Fla iciSco Bulletin says:
For The last two or three years there
have been large settlements Of lodges oI
Indians, on what is called Indian Island
and South Beach, both of which are
within a 8 orl distance Of this place
say. a mile. These Indians great
many of them at least-have learned TO
spell the English language SO as to be un-
derstood aud great many have earned
an honest living, by working in toxin and
among the settlers. There were not less
than ten OF fiteeu half breed infants among
Squaws, aud all were living on the most
friendly and intimate terms with the
whites and all had been assured of the
protection oi lhe United States garrison
Of this place, commanded by Major
Raines. In the midst Of this fancied Sc
curlly. the two camps were rushed upon
early in the morning on Saturday, 25th
February, and literally and completely
wiped out. Yes, sir, my pen almost re-
fuses to record il. Nearly two hundred
human beings were put out OF existence
III the short space of one hour from the
commencement Of the bulchery /; anc
though you will hardly believe me, l as
sure you that every sqaaw and child was
, Killed that could be found. One man
! alone, captain, Of The band, boasled mex.
DAY that lie had killed thirty women aud
chiIufen with his own hand. or rather
haichel FIre.arms were used 10 a very
limited extent; but the work was chiefly
4 done win ha'chels, iron bludgeons. knives,
etc.
"Next morning, visited the camp and
/ assure you that The scene was narrowing
ana sieheh'nS IN the extreme. Old
squaws, decrepid and grayhaired Young
squaws. the mother oftwo or three chill.
: dren, were lying in pile. Sometimes.
and frequently, the infant would be NOR.
tally wounded and clinging TO the dead
mothers breast. The slslwar, bucks Law
scattered around, quietly dispatched with
blow from The Ratchet. and thrust or
two about The heart with a bowie knife.
Infants were crawling around, and hiding
among the rubbish. etc. Altogether. il
was the most slckening spectacle that
ever beheld. And all this was done with
in ne.throw of the United States bar
racks but. lei me assure you that Uni
ted States barracks and United States
troops are as perfectly useless here as they
are anywhere. Notwithstanding there is
a petition, signed by all the families on
the Eel river, praying Major Raines TO
protect the friendly Indians, yet he lets
them rip"
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1860-05-05
Children "Fashionably. Dressed.

The absurd fashion Of exposing chill
dren of tender years TO the keen outdoor
air, with but half The necessary protection
which their little arms and legs require. is
still so prevalent as TO require word OF
comment IT is true, fond mother, that
yoar chubby, three.year old boy is fine y
modelled as the Cupid of Cavona is, but
the pleasure you derive in knowing that
other people admire the graceful round
ness of those limbs, will never compen-
safe you for the angnish and watchngs
which you will experience when he is al
tackled with Group or the terrific scarlet
fever. Strong men find it impossible 10
spend half their time in the heated houses
OF civilized society, and then go out OF
doors with thnly clad exiremilies, with
out catching all the cramps that flesh is
heir to. No one but Highlander, used
to the sky Cor canOpy and the heather
for bed. can go bsre-legged with impuni
ty in northern laiiudes and changeful
spring and fall seasons. Yet We daily
see lille BOYS and girls dressed in the
shortest Of clothes, with bare knees and
arms redeemed and chapped by the cold
Hundreds Of innocents die yearly from
this very cause alone, VIII not al moth
ers who read this heed the Warning
Lynchburg Virginian.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1860-05-05

Oh The days we wore no cEinoline,
A long tine ago;
When G along the streets could walk
In comfort with each beau,
lie hoops & springs, and such like things
On ladies forms were seen
Ere fathers raved and husbands stormed
About lhe crinoline.
Ere wicked wsgs. with cruel jokes
Gould cause US care and woe ;
In The days ve wore no crinoin ,
4 long nme ago.
Oar hearts were light, we felt no frigh
Though crowds TO wend our way,
Bat now.w jammed aud knocked abou
Where 'cr We chance 10 stay.
With friends we then could sail in boats
On slreamlets bright and fair,
Bul now our dresses are so large
There is no room to spare.
And then we hear The rascals say,
"lt was not always so,
In the days they wore no crinoline
A long time ago."
We then could pass each country lass
Without single sneer
But now by fashion we're compelled
These horrid hoops TO wear.
Then lovers came with joyous hearts
Our Cavaliers 10 be
To lead us up and down the town,
The things and sights 10 see,
But now they laugh and run away;
Ii was not always So
In The days we wore no crlnollne,
A long time ago.
IF ever common sense should reign
Der fashions changing scene,
We then may dress as once we did,
And initiate queen.
The men, also, they must adopt
A more becoming mien;
And if they will not LEAD ihe way,
Farewell 10 crinolne.
Then We no more shall weep IL gay
1t was not always so,
In The days we wore no crnoline,
A long time ago.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1860-05-05
Wonder.

When young man is clerk in a store
and dresses like prince, smokes good
cigars, drinks nice brandy, attends thea
Tres, balls and the like, wonder if he
does ilupon the avsils of bis cerkship
When young lady sits in the parlor
all day with her fingers covered with
rings. wonder if her mother don't wash
and do the work in The kitchen
When deacon of church sells strong
butter recommending it as sweet, | won
Ger if lie don't rely on lhe merits OF
Christ for salvation
When young lady aces her waist a
third smaller than nature made it,, won
der if her pretty figure will not shorten
life some dozen years o! more, besides
making her miserable while she does live!
When a man goes three times day 10
ge, dram, wonder if he will not by and
by go four times !
When young man is depending upon
his daily toll for his income, and msrries
a lady who does no, know how 10 make
loaf of bread or mend garment, won
der il tie is not lacking somewhere, say
towards the head for Instance !!
When a man can receive periodical or
newspaper weekly and take great delight
in reading them without pay ing his sub
scription, wonner if he has soul or a
gizzsrd
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1860-05-05
SCOTCH ARGUMENT FOR MAR
RIAGE.

Jenny is poor, and am poor,
Yet we will wed-so, say no more
And should tine bairnies 10 US come
AS few that wed but do have some
No doub, that Heaven will stand our
friend,
And bread. as well as children send.
So fares the hen in farmers yard
TO live alone she finds it hard ;
I've known her weary every claw
In search of corn among The straw
But when in quest Of :icesl food,
She cIucks among her chirping brood
With 10y we see the self same hen
That scratched for one, could scratch for
These are The thoughts that make me will
ling
To take my girl without shilling;
And for the self same cause, you see,
Jenny resolved 10 marry me.
Dates Worth Remembering.
1850. Glass windows first used for
light.
1916. Chmneys first put TO houses.
1852. Lead pipes for carrying water.
1890. Tallow candles for light.
1899. Spsclacles invented. by an ltal-
ian.
1902. Paper first made from linen.
1871. Wooden cloth first manufactured
in England.
IAln Art IF printinU in oil
l44O. The art OF printing in movable
types.
l477. Watches first made, in Germa.
ny.
l54O. Variation in the compass first
noticed.
l544. Pins, first used, in England.
1890. Telescope invented, by Porta
and Jansen.
1901. Tea first brought TO Europe.
from China.
1903. Theatre erected in England BY
Shakspear.
1910. Thermometer invented by Senc-
lorius.
1919. Circulation of Llood discovered
by Harvey.
1925. Bricks fist made of any required
size.
1926. Printing in colors invented.
1929. Newspaper first established.
1880. Shoe buckles first made.
1855. Wine made from grapes in Eng
land.
1899. Pendulum clocks invented.
l64l. Coffee brought TO England.
l64l, Sugar cane cultivated IN the
West Indies.
1913. Barometer invented, by Tori
COLI, in Italy.
1916. Air guns invented.
1899. Steam engines invented.
1850. Bread first made with yeast.
1856. Cotton first planned in the Uni
led States.
1856 Fire engine invented.
1856. Steam engine improved, by
Wait.
1855. Stereotyping first invented, in
Scotland.
1888. Animal magnetism discovered,
by Mesmer.
1889. Dsguerreotype made, by Da-
guerre, in France.
,S42. Telegraph invented, by Morse.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1860-05-05

A clergyman, observing poor MN by
the road, breaking stones with pIck.sxe.
and kpeeling To Gel al bis work the belier,
made The remark
"Ab. John. wish ! could break Tie
stony hearts Of my hearers as easily as
you are breaking these stones J" Use
man replied. "Perhaps, master you dcn'i
work en- your knees."
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1860-05-05

"Moiher, don'i yon wish you had the
tree OF evil in the garden -
"Why, Jot, what 10 you mean p
"As moneys The root OF all evil. if We
had tree couldn't We get the precious
stuff"
You're getting too smart; tbars what
comes Of sending boys 10 Ihe nacsjsm'
ies,"
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1860-05-05

A poor feIlow says ;-"In an evil hour
| became addicted 10 drink. From that
moment ] have been going down until |
have become an ou,csst--a loafer--s tliiog
Of no account; 6, FOR nothing else but TO be
a member Of Congress-
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1860-05-05

~ place for everyihing,snd every 'hlng
in its place. as The old woman sslj
when she bestowed The broom, bellows. a
ball of yarn, two babies, cuTrycemb, three
cats aud grid.irOn, into an old oven.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1860-05-05

man was arrested in Virginia few
days since and being informed that he
was suspected o!havIDg been engaged IN
the msurreclion at Ilarper's Ferry. re-
piled. "he didn't know Harper nor where
be kept the cussed old ferry" He was
acquitted.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1860-05-05
"Are you an Odd Fellow p'

"Are you an Odd FeIIO"
''No, sir; I've been married q week.
Il mean do you belong TO Tie Order Of
Odd Fellows 7"
mo. | belong to lhe order Of Msriied
men,"
"Thander :, How dumb Are you
a Mason =
"No I'm a carpenter"
"Worse and woTss = Are you a son Of
Temperance %
"ConlOund you. no. I'm son Of
John Gosling.'
The querisl went his way.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1860-05-05

$50. ihere's another corruption Of
Mount Vociferoos.' said Mrs. PsrIlngion;
as she pat up her specs. "Tbe paper
tells about The burning lsIher runni, q
down the mounIsiLs, but il don, s.li how
ii got sare %
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1860-05-05

Sourhtruer describing an opponent
says IL tell you what. sir, that man
don't amount To sum in ariItmeiic--sdc
him up and there's nothing 10 tote 10 an
other column"
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1860-05-05
Tg5g &MD 8U2g08.

Young Peapod f-ll in love yeserdFy.
Says he fell like barrel and a half ef
new maple sugar sliding down rainbos, +,
creased with butter at forty centsa pound.
Pespod soon after left TO get his lille IN
suTed
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1860-05-05

John, you have drunk until you arc
only half Of the John you used 10 be. =
"Oh welI,lhsn, | suppose AN depsi-
John" said he complacenlly.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1860-05-05

Alta late militia muster in Kentucky a
big keg was used as drum. II there was
anything in the keg, Prentice thinks they
rallied al the tap.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1860-05-05

Mr.. G.. clergyman. being recent
ly absent from home. bis son four years
old. was asked 10 pronounce the blessing.
NO." he replied,.l don'ilike The looks
Of them ts,eTs ~
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1860-05-05

Whats Tie matter with that man :"
asked Passer.hy as he recognized ici.
low in The gutter.
"Ile's slowed"
"Who slew him p
"Old Jamaica"
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1860-05-05

"WelI. pals The world round !""Yes.
Of course" "Well. Then, pa, if The wold
is round, how cat il come 10 an end ~
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1860-05-05

"Single copies, ,sl5. Last years wood.
peckrr's nests, skillet handles, and see.
ond-hand dunning letters taken al par III
paymeni for subscriptions.