The new era., 1860-04-05
Man is a Problem !!

~ MRS. .GEORGE wAsHINGToN wYLLYs.
Certainly he is There's np kind of
doubt about that He's tsriully and
wonde rfdlly made. Woman can't form
tie least idea about the workings of
that colossal brain Of his. unless she
mounts upon STEP ladder, with a lele-
scope under her arm. She ought to be
perfectly satisfied with the privilege Of
sewing on his shirt-buttons, and darning
the ragged spots where, IN the "march
Of progress" his majestic toes have
gone through. She wouldn't fret about
such little things as the baby's cough,
or the worn-out silk, if she knew what
his cares and troubles were. Let her
Contemplate them and be silent !
He gets up in the morning and scolds
because the towel hasn't walked out
from the corner where he flung it last
night, and hung itself up to dry. He
shifts obviously at the breakfast odors,
and hopes he isn't going to have mack
erel again-he hates mackerel ~ He
can't fbd his slippers. and $" he mends
matters by knocking over the cologne
bottle He views his whiskers scrn,:::.=
izingly II the glass, and concludes, on
the whole, that they wan. dyeing again
He wonders II Miss Jones really consid-
ers him better-looking man than
Young Brown-thinks it very singular
that his wife can't be .s lively az Miss
Jones Isn't quite certain whether to
wear the black waistcoat with brocaded
spots, or the blue one with white sprigs
who knows but that he may meet
some pretty girl or other on his way
downto the office Contemplate him-
self in the mirror again. ne thinks he
ain't so bad hooking after all, and then
boxes little Zedekiah's ears for asking,
"What are you smiling at :"
"N i'll he have beefsteak or roast
fowls for dihner' :" Now. what IS the
use of badg-ring man with such silly
question as that Dres Mrs. Spruce
suppose he hasn't anything of more i'm
portance 70 think of? Should think
she might decide such trivial matters
herself! Kindling wood all gone :"
How old is Mrs Spruce. Intensely sar-
castle Twenty-seven To have
lived to that age and not known enough
to buy another load. wIthou. b"thering
her husband Money 7" Oh. ah-
that's different question. Well, he'll
see about it when he comes home to-
night. Ifthey warmed the whole city
by Contract they couldn't use more
wood There Is such thing as ex-
travagance, and if Mrs. Spruce hasn't
found it out by this time. it's best for
somebody to tell her ." " May she
have new opera-bcnnet :" Well, he
is perfectly ast,nishsd! He should sup
pose that an old married woman would
have something better todo than to strut
about in opera -bonnets. If she is shnrt
Of work, please remember hat he wants
dozen new shirts. 'Tisn't proper for
his wife to be at the opera. with half-a-
score Of masculine eye-glass-s leveled
at her. Nov, then, he wishes she d
just keep still and give him chance to
read the paper s'Wont he read the
news aloud 20 What does Mrs. Spruce
suppose she knows about the foreign
items !? How can she understand the
editorials He don't want to be cross
with her. but il does seem as if women
never could conine themselves to sub
iects within their comprehension
Wonders if the young lady who sits
opposite him in the cars admires his
diamond his diamond pin! Wishes he
knew how the curly-haired fellow mex,
her Manages to tie his neck-clnth so
handsomely. Deliberates between the
comparative merits ofgoatee or imperial
thinks. on the whole, he'll shave. and
give his china chance. Helps the pref
y young lady out. with srss: flourish Of