The Grand Haven news. [volume] (Grand Haven, Mich.) 1858-18??, 1860-04-25
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.
- Necessity, like great many law
yers, knows no law.

yers, knows no law.
- Children are much like jellies; a
they are moulded, so will they turn out
-" Misery loves company" and 81
does a manageable young lady.
- "The height of folly"-The alti.
tude of very fashionable women.
= Make man drink and you make
him pauper very soon.
= Life is like a certain sort of boat
race-success depends entirely upon the
skulls.
: A fire is like a pretty woman
neglect it in the least and your reliance
IS gone.
= Ten poor men can sleep Tranquility
upon mat, but two kings can't live at
case i'll quarter Of tho world
= Remember, young ladies, that or
anges are not TO be praised after having
been squeezed few times.
"A young lady, when told to exer-
else for her health, said she would "jump
at an offer," and run her own risk.
= 1t has been cynically said that of
all the virtues, gratitude has the shortest
memory.
- DR.. Johnson wisely said, "He who
waits to do great deal of good at once,
will never do anything"
= Fanny Fern says there are two
things woman can not do, viz: &" Sharp
en- lead pencil, "nor do up bundle"
: A notorious political editor boasts
that every number Of his paper " tells"
Unqucstionably it does, but not the truth.
= An Irishman at cards, having on
inspection found the pool deficient, ex-
claimed, "Here's shilling short-who
put that in !"
= An Irishman caught hornet in
his hand, but dropped il, and exclaimed,
Be jabers, what kind of taath do your
birds have in Amcriky"
=" Patrick, meeting iackass that
was braying remarked, Its n fine ear
that bird has for music, but he's got
terrible cowld"
- Better to be alone than in bad
company" True, but unfortunately, many
persons aro never in so bad company as
when they are alone.
- Want is to be little dreaded when
man has but short time left TO be mis-
cradle. Of all poverty, that of the mind
is the most dcplorable.
= To keep eggs from spoiling-cat
them while fresh. We have tried all
kinds of methods, but this we think is the
only one to be relied on in any climate"
= Ladies who have disposition to
punish their husbands should recollect
that little warm sunshine will melt an
icicle much sooner than regular north
easter.
= There will always be this important
difference between n coquette and wo
man of sense and modcsty-that while
one courts every man, every man will
court the other.
- Say nothing respecting yourself, eli
ther good bad, or Indifferent; nothing.
good, for that is vanity; nothing bad, for
that is affectation; nothing Indifferent for
that is silly.
= A good cure for dyspepsia is to col
lect bills for newspaper. If that don't
give you an appetite, you might as well
sell your stomach for trirc, and be done
with it.
= The mind has certain vegetatve
power, which can not be wholly idle. If
it is not laid out and cultivated into q
beautiful garden, it will of itself shoot up
in weeds or flowers of a wild growth.
= A newspaper "patron," who has
not paid his subscription for five years,
writes to the proprietor that abe is keep
ing back the money so that it may be re-
ceived with greater pleasure when it
comes"
=" Well, farmer, you told us that
your place was good place for hunting;
now we have tramped il three hours aud
found no game" "Just so; calculate
as a general thing, the less game there is
the more hunting you have"
: A late celebrated Judge, who, stoop-
ING very much when walking, had stone
thrown at him one day, which passed
over without hitting him. Turning to his
friend, he remarked, "Had | been an up
right Judge that might have caused my
DEATH"
- A blacksmith, having becn SLAM
dered, was advised TO apply to the courts
for redress. He replied, with true wis
dom, +" shall never sue anybody for SLAM
der; | can go into my shop and work out
a better character in six months than /
could get in courthouse in n year."
A little girl of three years old was
told by her Sunday school teacher that
we were all made Of dust. Arrived at
home, she looked up in her mothers face,
with an anxious, inquiring glance, and
said, "Ma, has bod got any moro dust
leftp "Why, my daughter do you ask
sucb N ouoet;on ~ a'Causc. III He has,