Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1860-10-05
Fact, Fun and Fancy.

= 1t is exceedingly bad husbandry to har-
row up the feelings Of your wife.
IF laughter is the daylight Of the soul, a
smile is its twilight.
Money is thrown away upon spend
thrift, and good counsel upon fool.
- The idle man is the DEVILS hireling,
whose livery is rags, whose diet and wages
are famine and disgrace.
Wealth does not always improve US
A man, as he gets to be worth more, may be-
come worthless.
A hermit prefers always to be leftalone,"
but, as for us, we would rather be left a
fortune
1t has been found by occulists that when
person has only eye it is invariably the
lett one.
"A man who has heart of iron, can at
least boast Of always having metal in his
chest.
WoSDERFuL-A teacher of penmanship in
twelve lessons taught lawyer to read his
own writing.
A man may generally expect domestic
"breeze,n when his wife begins to put on
fairs"
Why are pen makers very bad persons2
Because they make people % steel y pens and
say they do write
We have heard of but one old woman
that kissed her cow" but there are thou
sands of young ones that kiss great calves.
How TO MEET ISLANDER. "A blacksmith. hay
ing been slandered, was advised to hpply to
the courts for redress. lie replied with true
wisdom:
!" shall never sue anybody for SANDER
can 60 into my shop and work out better
character in six months than could get in a
courthouse in enc year"
- Statistics on marriageall over the civiliz-
ed world show that matrimoay is fehrfully on
The decrease. What win become Of the wo-
men.
= There is a young lady at Cumberland so
refined in her language that she never uses
the word "black guard" but substitutes
African sentinel"
- Do you believe Mrs. Smith paints Y'-
I" They say she does, but can hardly credit
it.' " Well, she has certainly great deal
Of color for one Of her size
title fellow who broke loose has gone
into partnership with the one that "broke
the news, and they anticipate doing a smash
ing business.
The last conundrum is, 7 What is the
difference between stubborn horse and
postage stamp2 You lick one with a stick,
and the other YOU stick with a lick.
= There is a volume contained in the few
wordsofSh SHAKESPEARE, when he says: Drunk
enaess is m egg, from which all vice may
be hatched"
= The following is given as the new mode
Of "parsing" down east. ~ court -
Court is verb active, indicative mood, pre-
sent tense, and agrees with all the girls in the
neighborhood.
-" Accept lock Of my hair, said an old
bachelor to widow, handing hera large curl.
on Jou iau btttel ElNc mt tue WHole Wig
@ Madam, you bite hard, indeed but pray
don't risk breaking your beautiful porcelain
teeth"
= The other day a Yankee gave beggar
woman a couple of cents. Two cents p ex-
claimed she; ''take them back--l ask for chari-
ty-I can do nothing with two cents"
my dear madam, y said the polite donor,
Il beg you'll keep them and give them to
some poor person."
ATRoclous.-" Betsy, my dear said Mr..
Stubs, giving his wife pair of damaged
unmenticnables, "have the goodness to mend
these trousers; it will be as good As going to
the play tonight Mrs. Stubs took her
needle, but confessed she Couldn't see the
point How so ~ said She "Why, my
dear, you viii see the wonderful rapels in the
Pant-o'-miae. Mrs. Stubs finished the Job,
and, handing back the trousers ibid Stubs,
" that's darned goodn