Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1860-08-03
Fact, Fun and Fancy.

- Misery loves company, and so does
a manageable young lady.
1t should be remembered that bare
assertion is not necessarily naked truth.
"A gentleman who spoke of having
been struck by lady's beauty was ad-
vised to kiss the rod.
- Prentice thinks the ladies treat their
waists as vulgar fractions-to be reduced
to the lowest terms.
An old bachelor says that during
leap year the ladies jump at every offer
of marriage-hence the term.
- moderate tourist calls the Mag
ara river " the pride of rivers" That
pride has certainly tremendous fall.
- Somebody gravely asks if asserting
dead letters aids in acquiring dead Ian
guage.
- The course of true love, of which
the poets tell us, tits now discovered
has long since dried up.
- Some malicious persons assert that
the letters NJ. D., which are placed after
physicians names, signify money down.
The most direct method Of deter
mining horse, power-stand near and
tickle his hind legs with briar.
- When a man who has paid a bill is
asked to take drink, is it designed to
show that the creditors claim has been
hquidated.
- There is a lawyer so excessively
honest that he puts all his flower pots out
over night, so determined is he that
everything shall have its dev.
= Horne Tookc being asked by George
the Third whether he played at cards,
replied, "No, your Majesty the fact is,
l cannot tell king from a knave"
- The rhymer who wrote the line,
Z" Dear to me is the surf tossed beach,"
probably had in his mind the recollection
of his bill at some seaside hotel
- A man being commiserated with on
account of bis wifc's running away, said,
Don't pity me till she comes back
again"
"A countryman, who saw for the
first time a hoped skirt hanging at
shop door, called to ask what kind of
a bird they kept in that cage"
- poet says: On she was fair,
but sorrow came and left his traces there. !"
What became of the balance of the har-
ness, he don't state.
"A clergyman in Rochester, after
marrying couple lately, knelt down ana
prayed for the surviving sisters 4" of
the bride.
A person being asked why he had
given his daughter in marriage to a man
with whom he was at enmity answered,
" did it out of pure revenge"
- The most attentive man to business
we ever knew was he who wrote on his
shop door; Z" Gone to bury my wife;
return in half an hour"
-" We see" said Swift in one of
his most sarcastic moods, what God
Almighty thinks of riches by the people
TO whom he gives them"
= The poet who tried to render piece
of poor prose into rhyme did all he could
10 " make bad matter-verse. "-Pren-
lice
A gentleman was threatening to
beat a dog that barked intolerably. -
Why" exclaimed an Irishman, would
you beat that poor dumb animal for speak
ing out p
The following notice appeared on
the west end of country meeting house
=" Anybody sticking bills against this
church will be prosecuted according to
law, or oag other nuisance"
OH MMDs.-A class of sensible wo-
men, who refuse to accept husband un-
til they find some one they can love and
esteem-which, of course, they rarely
do.
= We are told that the best cure for
the palpitation of the heart is to leave off
hugging and kissing the girls. If this
is the only remedy that can be produced,
ave for one say let 'er palpitate."
= We always admire the answer of
the man who, when asked how old he
was, answered, Just forty years; but
if you count by the fun I've seen, am
at least eighty"
- Our Dan saws that whenever he
wants hot bath, and hasn't the money
to pay for it, he has only to tell his girl
that he has made up his mind to select
another sweetheart, and he is in hot
water directly.
Spare moments are the gold dust
Of time. OF all the portions in our life,
spare moments are the most truthful 10
good or evil. They are the gaps through
which temptation finds the easiest access
TO the soul
"A gentleman having horse that
ran away and broke bis wife's neck, was
told by neighbor that he wished to pur-
chase il for his wife to ride upon. "No,"
said the wretch, o. intend 10 marry
again myself"
What glorious world this would
be, if all its inhabitants could say with