Smyrna times., 1860-02-09
c OR RESP ONDENCE.
Written for the Smyrna Times.
invitation to Quilting. The "Secret "
Out

- Feb 1860.
MR. EDITOR Il can't keep a secret-ney,
could and whats more, never could under.
stand what was the use. Who in the world
wants to convert his bosom into butt boil
ana copper-tas'ened strong box," to store away
all the choice little tit bits of news in; those
nice little nick.nacks which are the lfs and
SOUL the spice and Pith of fsociety-parlicularly
the feminine portion of it! Pray, tell me, G
Editor, what would woman be without q Sc.
cret; and again impiore you, what ould she
be II she did not tell II! What 7rOuI1
nave been the consequence if grandmother Eve
mad not communicated to her listening lord the
great secret which that Vilanous old snake
whispered into her eager ear! This is ticklish
ground, however, for DIR. Adam Clarke takes
" upon himself, (very modes ly) to say that il
was an ape oS ouraag- -outang or something OF
that SORT; bat don't believe word of it.
1rus' the Dr. adduces, apparently, very strong
arguments, hat they ure by no means conclu~
s'Ve. 1t is eOt my purpose, huwever, 10 argue
this deep question of fantediluvian theology with
the learned Dr., aud therefore leave the mat
ser TO tbS reader. Before leaving my ntroduc.
U'on' Will ask :" whit is a secret if you don't
SeH it! | argue it's nothing at all--it's a
nonentIty-iIs MIA. For what one person
knows, exclusively, amounts TO nothing. I've
got secret, and mean to tell it; and I'm sure
after I've told it the reader will say with me
that some secrets, at least, are better by being
told-prOvded he is not an old fogy, or pos.
sessed OF very bad taste.
Some time ago it was given out that Mrs. NJ.
anticipated having an od-fashioned quilting
party. BY "Uld-fa shioned" | mean that mar
rled as we'll as single were to be invited. The
ladies' were to meet shortly after dinner, in or
der to get the Quilt out before candle light"
at which time the " lords of creation" were ex.
pected. This being done, it was expected that
the guests should try he strength oftheir waist
band aud cOrset-lacers in a was that the intel.
lIgent reader will understand without expIana-
ton. After this, all parties were allowed the
privilege OF enjoying themselves in their own
way. 1t was understood that Mr.. and Mrs. H.
and your humble servant, Terrence, and ma
dam, were to be numbered among the favored
ones, and were to have bid" Be it remem.
bered. therefore. that Mrs. II. lives in the CONN
try, about six miles from the town in which the
said Mr. and Mrs. H., and Terrence and madam
reside. Well, in due course of time. the ex.
pected bids cane out, and the time announced
as the first dsy of Februlrv, A. D. 1850.
You probably have not forgotten, Mr.. Editor.
that old Jaru'riuS lett us in high dudgeon and
upon the last night of his stay he sent a heavy
snow storm, and along with it sufficient wind
TO twist it and turn il into all sorts of sLao-s
Now whether he was at logger-head with Feb
ruary have not been able to determine. but
certain 1t Is strong circumstantial evidence
that he owed her grudge and adopted this
means of venting his ire, knowing that she
was TO follow right in his wake, and that every |
one would raise the cry, " what awful weather
February brings with it" / have. myself
heard a numl e. make this remark snd correct.
ed them; for | happened to be out rather late
with my wfe) the night on which that maIi.
clous gentleman made his exit, and when came
home he was sitting it down like all wrath
Now this may be a secret to some. bu, !, %
not the secret.
"Wednesday morning jumped out ofbed, and
OF course the first thing thought of was the
qniiting. | raised the blind. and 10 and b.Lordr
I1e whole face of nature looked as if it were
preparing for bridal aud had not yet compile
Led her tollet-as if the whitest of all white
'o6es was being thrown around her without
much ceremony or delay. "My love" said |.
take peep out Of that wndow-no qultin~
o-dsJ." mo quilting, did you say! Well
IN going" "Why, my dear, it will never do I
o turn out such a day as this" Now, Ter.
ence, you deed'nt think to keep me from that
quilting on account of a little snow-no iadeed
'ou deednt don't stop for trfas." "My I
ear," said |. "these may be trihes-light as
ir-but they are strong proofs ofholy writ"
Well, trlfies, holy writ or what-n0t, I'm 90.
lg, and thcFe's an end Of it. I'm not going to ,
ave al my toll and pains for nothing. Yes J
erday worked all day fixing my ne'r rem J
fashion, and putting my hair in papers, ex- '
res-ly FIR this party, aud now because YOU
hoose to be an old granny, I'm to be deprived
going. II | was out of The way, and YOU
'erc h4n. Ht4 another wtfe-and know Won
....--y y4- = DC as brave as Leander was but u
ow you are afaid of snow fake" | thought
d try to put in another word edge wise, but
luckily remembered that Oliver Cromwell
nee said ga mau that argues with woman
foo" and was content to reply, "Weu.
" dear, if you can stand 1t | can" The field
sing clear. the work went braveIy on Soon of.
II | arrived al my Office was sent for BY Mrs. o
=, who desired to tell me " what coward her
lnband was. He did not want her to 90 for re
ar she would take cold" Assisted by H. a;