The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1860-01-25
StF(istellang.
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Burling's Mode of Dunning.

/
step behind. and then mild voice in
curing if [ had the transcript of GER
tain judgement against one J. G O.
the protector of the great Peg-ghe
wah-wah Company for selling Indian
medicines. | looked up, and saw a
man whose twisted foot and palsied
arm were quite familiar to me, but
whose name or calling l knew moth
ing.
Yes" I replied, Il have the tran
script"
"Well I want it," he said, Pm
going to collect it for the creditor"
"Going to collect it !" I exclaimed.
"why the judgement is perfectly worth
less Executions, and proceedings af-
ter judgement, and all ordinary means
of grace, have long ago been exhaust
ed upon O. He is helplessly insolvent
and is besides the most adriot scamp of
a swindler I ever encountered"
whats that to me 2" broke out
the visitor, in a gruff, strong voice,
quite different from his first tones
Perhaps you don't know who I am.
Pm Burling, the man about town.
You lawyer, and not know me =
Sheriffs are good for nothing con-
stables are good for nothing; execu-
tions and creditors bills are good for
nothing. Give ME the transcript-here
is the order for it-I'll make the money
out of him /"
I swiveled around my chair and
stared at the man. "And will you be
so good, Mr.. Burling," I asked, as
to tell me what is your patent plan for
superseding officers and writs, and for
squeezing blood out of turnips, and
cash ont of the President of the Peg
ghe-wah- wah Company 2"
How I do it, you mean. Why, I
dun 'em at their houses, | dun 'em in
the street, | dun 'em at the theatre, |
dnu 'em in church, / catch 'em early in
the morning and stick to 'em all day
follow 'em up wherever they go; go to
meals and eat with 'em; go to bed
and sleep with 'em give 'em no peace
night or day, Sunday nor weekday
stick to 'em like dea.h to a dead Mig
ger. A man owes debt. He won't
pay it. follow him all the week so
he can't do any business, nor go to see
his sweetheart, nor walk in Broad way
nor eat with any appetite, nor sleep
without dreaming. Pm after him, with
the devil to help run him down. All
this won't do! Very well. When he
goes to church Sunday he finds me in
his pew Your Sheriff's can't work
Sundays do my best business then. I
The congregation rise, and he rises,
takes out his book, opens at the place,
and there he finds the bill I've stuck
there, and gets so mad he can't say
amen.
"Sheriffs and constables, " continued
he, getting loud and fierce, "will a
sheriff go of a Sunday morning to a
parsons house and follow him to church
and walk up the broad aisle with him,
before all the congregation, and go up
the pull pit stairs close to his heels, and
slip into the pulpit after him before he
can shut the door, and take a seat by
his side, and get up when he gets up,
and when he opens the Bible open
John Johnes' bill full length, and lay
it down over the chapter and verse,
and tell him, There's that bill of
horse hare-poy 1t before you preachp
But that's what | did-and got my
money, too"
And what commission did YOU
charge ?"
Fifty per cent"
Rather strong" l suggested, "but
still your mode of procedure was strong.
Do you often get as much as fifty per
cent 2"
When I earn it | get it. DR.. c.,
of Broadway, sent me to dun a fellow
who lived back in a yard, and kept two
bull dogs that he let loose when any
body came to collect honest debts.
went to him with horse pistol in each
hand and DR.. C.'s bill in my teeth, and
made him pay up. What did DR.. G..
offer me for getting bis sixty dollars
lie offered me one dollar. | won't
take it, says |. I'll pay no more, says
he, Pay me thirty dollars, says l,
Get ont of my office, or I'll kick you
out, says he, and he kicked me out O.
his door and down the steps into Broad.
way. I goes across to the II no.
tel and hires a great arm chair out o
the bar-room, and takes it across thu
street and plants it on the curb-ston'
right opposite Dr. C.'s office door, ant
| lays the bill had made out on ful
sheet offoolScap across my knees, hang
ing down, so everybody that went bv