Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1860-10-19
Letter from Artemus Ward. .Jr.,-IntexvieW
with Mr.. Douglas Grand Fusion Show.
CLEVELAND, Sept. 81, 1680.i

r7d. .aa4 CLEVELAND, Sept 81, 1680.i
MISTER EDrrER ~ sccz my quill to inform
the publik thru the nedeun of your kolums
Of the grand eddishun have gcst maid to
my great metropolitician sho bizness and
DARN Slak rope and GIN nastic Surkus.-
Last mite had an intcrvu with Steven A.
Dugas, the renound politikal ambidixter, and
proprietor and Cheef Kloun in the CRATE pop
ular sovereignty sho. Mister Duglas is gen
orally kald the little giant from his haven
purfOrned the CRATE feet of walkin the whole
length Of Mason and Dixon close line with
the dred skot dicisshun in one hand and his
whole popular soverenty sho in the uthcr;
and also pullin up the mamnnth tire knld tho
misorie kompromize, which was furst planted
in 1887 by Tomas Jefferson and uthers, and
set out agin in 1920. Mr.. Duglas puld up
this tre and the konstit,ls hun with 1t and
planted them under his feet 49,
But was a goin on to sa that he haz bin
travelin thru the estcrn and suthern states
purformin his triks and speakin his pees--
The wa he takes them in with his poplar SOW
erenty game is not slo. He holds out q big
bill to the people and sez, there's poplcr SOW
erenty-there's the CRATE principtl. At first
they think they see 1t; but when they look
little sharper it vanshes like atlu on the
orientle kornstalk when the noonda son rizcs
in the east on a thunderin hot da in the mid
del Of Juli; it cant be found nowhere. Tho
folks sometimes git mad and korner him in
titc plase, but he is tarnal smaul and can
kraul thru mighty littcl hole. But tina sa
he did CRATE trik--at wun plase he ato an
OK and q, 900 klams. 7. '""
As soon as herd of his arrivin in toun
went to pay him witt. found him in his
sho room speakin his PEGS; | thOwt I
wouldn't be very formal; and scz /, haven't
yc got that pees larnt yetp Scz he, yis-bnt
thers some of the dokrin that the people
don't bleeve, aud have to alter il occashun-
| ally to suite the phase. Sez I, how doc you
like the sho bizncss? Sez he, it don't pa. Sez
| l, my sho is doom a stavin bizness. He
groaned and tere started in hiz i; and sez
he, thowt shood make good deal out of
my popler soverenty; bat, sez he, 1t has
split the hull sho; the peple begin to see thru
it, and tha SO it is q humbug. Scz I, what
are you goin to do with it? Scz he as soon
as hav yused up my posters and advertise
ments shall thro it overheard
Sez /, Dugas whattle yc take for yer pop
Ter soverenty9 Sez he, lie sci it cheep. I
| told him diddcnt no how too manage his
triks, but wood 60 into partnership with
him in the sho bizness. SEE he, its bargin.
|
sum daIkies to sing songs and dams the horn
pipe. Sez he, wunt hav emmy thing too do
with the nigger bizness agin-it don't pa
He said he went into the niggcr bizness in
1854 and had bin goin down hil ever sins
he sed it had nurly rooind him. The little
giant then performed on the slak rope, and
kind up grcest pole and spoke his pees on
the top. One of Abe Lincolns ralcs was
next browt in and Duglar was set on and rod
out thru the back dore. Duglas is abont B
feet and a thundern crate man for one Of hiz
size. | made chronological examination Of
him. Hee is man of tremendous pour. His
kavs are huge. His bump of humbugging is
as big as a COOS cg. Concenshusness is kaved
in. Heed make fustrate cricr in the sho
bizness; his bump of tellin yarns aint small.
Duglas and have kompleted our program
for our nu sho. We call it the nu yunion
sho and grccst pole surkus, together with
uthcr aarmin and DARN feets.
Duglas will perform the grand, bubble 4
single handed game ofpoplcr soverenty. This
game can be seen best with the ize shet.--
But must klose. We are goin westward
no in few dazc. Yurs in hast,
| A .t sf Hf ARTEMUs WARD, in.
pee es. Duglas sez give popler suverenty
a good bio in the paper.