The day book. [volume] (Norfolk, Va.) 1857-1867, 1860-01-21
An Adventure on the Cars.

1t was vacation and we conc luded to take
a trip to the Fails. We got aboard the cars
at NJ, and were soon travelling very
rapidly toward our destination.
We had just seated ourselves and prepared
for comfortable smoke, when in came the
conductor, and who should it be but our old
friend Fred B. After the common
salutations-"How are you old fellow" etc.
had passed, Fred said he had some bust
ness for us to do.
"Out with it, old chum," said we, "any
thing at all will &c acceptable, so let US have
it."
swell, boys" said Fred in very conf
dental tone, din that next car there il as
1ovin' pair as it was ever my lot to see.-
They are going down to Ito get mar
ried, and now if you can have any tun over
it, just pitch in. They must be cared for,
ana | don't know who can do 1t better than
you"
In moment Fred was gone, and we set
our heads together to form plan for 'ta-
king care Of the lovers
al have it, boys" said Bill Sewers; eve
must make that girl believe that her lover is
married."
"That's it, Bill-that's it," said we, not
giving him time to finish his sentence.
"That he is a married man and the father
of children" said Bill.
"That's the game, Boys; now let US play
it,"
1t dsvolyed upon me to commence opera
tions. Accordingly, l entered the car in
which we were infor med the lovers were.-
Sure enough, there were, in real soft lover
style.
All this gathered at glance. Stepping
up to them, | said:
"Why, Jones, what in the deuce are you
doing with this girl ?"
"See here, stranger" said the fellow,
"you're mite mistaken, my name amt
JONES'"
"Why, Jones' said |, "you certainly
haven't left your wife AMI children, and
tried to palm yourself of for a single man,
have yous"
81 tell you my name amt jones' Its Har-
per. 1t never was Jones; faint goin' to be
nuther."
| merely shooS my bead, and passed On to
another seat TO see the rest of the fun. The
girl looked "wild after | sat down; but
Jones, alias Harper, soon convinced her that
| was mistaken.
About the time they got TO feeling right
we'll again, in came Elliot. Gregg. Walking
up to Harper, he accosted him with
"Why, Jones, you here! How did you
leave your wife and babies ?''
Snow, see here, stranger, you amt the
first man that called me Jones to-day, an
| reckon must look awfully like him; but
l. amt Jones, an more'n that, you mustn't
call me Jones. | haint got a wife, nor ba-
bies either; but this here gal an is goin'
to splice, an then you esq talk about my
wife, and wouldn't wonder but what, in
ftHa nc ,nhf toIl oh
the babies, too; but you mustn't call me
Jonesv'
This retort brought forth yociterOus laugh
ter from the spectators, and it also brought
bushes to the face OF "the girl that was
goin' to be spliced."
"Ah, Jones'" said Gregg, "you will regret
this in the future. pity your wife and chill
Gren and this poor girl"
$50, Mr.. Harper, your real name is Jones,
is it, an you've been toalin' me, have you?
Wen, we amt spliced ssss and don't think
We will be soon," said the girl, and her eyes
f;irly flashed fire.
know Pm Bill Harper? Thar amt darn
drop of Jones blood in AN I'll prove it,"
At this moment eff Jackson, Bill Sewers
and Jim Byers entered, and of course their
attention was called to Harper by his loud
talking. They stepped up to him and said
"Why, Jones, what is all this fuss about?'
This was more than Harper could stand.
He leaped upon seat.
"Now," said be, "my name amt Jones,
and can lick the Teller that says it's
By this time we had got 10 Il, and
cur friend Fred came into the car and made
Harper keep quiet. The girl th at wouldn't
be "spliced" requested Fred to help her on
the train that was going back to N,
which he did, and the notorious Jones, alias
harper, followed her. We learned after
wards. that he proved himself to be Bill Har-
per instead of Bill Jones, and he and his gal
"Jane got spliced."
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