Raftsman's journal. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1854-1948, 1860-04-18
A PERPLExED BRIDEGROOM.

Some days since q very rustic and inartistic
couple, residents of Kentucky, near the Ten
nessee line, concluded marriage to be their
destiny, and with this idea came to the West
ern Athens, desirous of sacrificing themselves
to Hymen at the earliest opportunity.
In due time the pair arrived in Cincinnati,
and repairing to the Spencer House, informed
clerk Andrew Blum that they were extremely
intent perpetrating matrimony, and that
nothing could thwart their purpose. Mr.. Blum,
so far from wishing to prevent their aniable
immolation, made every effort to facilitate
their design, and SO well did he succeed that
In less than an hour James and sJemime 'iwere
welded as firmly as lay in the capacity of
clergyman to bind them.
The clerk, after the ceremony had been per-
formed, believing that all new-married people
ought to be as well accommodated as possible,
gave them parlor and bedroom the third
floor, and babe them ssgood evening" about
ten O'Clock, not neglecting to wish them every
possible bliss.
The twain meekly followed the servant to
the rooms, and were left alone there for the
night the clerk thinking no more of them un-
til about two O'Clock, when, sitting doing in
any easy chair behind the counter in the Of
flee, he was aroused by voice saying:
''Look here, Mr.. Clerk, oh, Mr.. Clerk, I'd
like to speak to You jist minnit, do now.''
Mr.. Blum opened his eyes, aud behed his
rustic friend, hatless and coatless, with flush
ed face and disheveled hair. and such general
ly disarranged attire as Indicated that he had
been undergoing some violent exercise.
ssWell, sir, of what benefit can be to you 7''
ssWhy, why, L didn't like to trouble you,
and [ don't know how you felers does things
in this big town but, but, but
ssDut what my good fIiend," questioned
the clerk, anxious to free the ruralist from
confusion, each moment on the increase.
"Why, why, you know we're married-Je-
mime and me-"
'sOh, yes, and wish you all manner of good
fortune, my fine fellow.''
"Wall, l 'spose you do but confound it If
can get the hang of things in this darned
place. May be Pm green; l guess l am sort
o. that way but, by jingoes, you do funny
things here.'
ssExplain, if You please, my man. What do
you wish to say ~
swell, we don't care, Jemime and me, for a
little while; but to roll round on the floor all
night is d-ylish hard, stranger, swear it s.'
s'Roll round on the foorl what do you
mean ?''
sWell, s'pose it isn't what you call fashion,
able in a big town; but, by gumbo, where We
come from married people alters go 10 bed.''
"Haven't you been in bed ?'' asked the clerk
in great surprise.
ssWhy, how the d. could we 60 to bed when
there weren't no bed to go to That's what
we want the worst sort o. way"
"My good fellow, there's bed in your
room. Did you not see it in the chamber in
the rear of the parlor2''
"Dd you give us moron one room. stran-
ger3 By jingoes, L didn't know it. It's all
want-all right, old feller," and so saying he
ran up stairs, and before the clerk could ascend
to the chamber, the now delighted bridegroom
was in bed, and replied to the knock the
door: ssAll right now; I've found it-Jemime
and mes satisfied. We don't want you; all
right, all right. God bless you, old teller. All
right-fus- rate. God bless you good night"
Mr.. Blum went chuckling down to the Office
at the idea that the unfortunate ruralist had
passed four hours in his parlor without even
supposing there was bed chamber attached.
Poor fellow; wonder he embarrassed
and troubled-under the circumstances.