Raftsman's journal. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1854-1948, 1860-09-19
YANKEES couRT1NG EXPERIENCE.

A YANKEES COURT1NG EXPERIENCE.
A New Yorker and New Englander while
travelling in stage together near the Connect
icut, after short silence found the conversa-
ton opened in the following manner, rela-
ted by the New Yorker:
The stage running slowly along when
the New Englander drew forth from the mys-
terous depth of his inexpressble pocket
huge chunk of tobacco and sliced off luscious
morsel, with the father of all k-knives.
Placing the morceau in one corner of his
bread-chopping machine he was about to place
the original package in his untathomable abyss
ot pocket, when he noticed my quizzcal glance,
and at once offered the tropical luxury to ME
'.Iiave a chaw, stranger Y''
':No otfense,'' returned 1, taking the brown
lump and tearing off bit.
.sDull sliding, this said he, as he received
back the weed ssand most as lonely as hunt
in raccoons by moonlight and not chaw in
your pouch. Powerfull Thems my feelings
eyes," returned l, ssif we only had some
ladies along now.''
=, Darn the she-crittersi % exclaimed the Yam
kee shutting his jack knife with clash. SD
rather be as lonesome a burrowed pup, than
piece of caliker as big as a pancake.
What's wimmen but a tarnaton bundle of
CANNON and petticoats. Powerful Be you
married folks stranger ?''
teariully answered in the negative.
s.Don't never be them he said, 'smy names
Smith-one of the Smithses down to Salisbury,
that guaranteed to eat as much prove nder and
carry big a turkey as ever set on critters
down in that deestrict. And whilst my names
Smith, there'li never be youuker to call me
daddy, eff gal was to have Jerusalem tan
trums after me. You're stranger and amt
married folks; but [ don't mind telling ye
about a gOlhred rumpus got into down in
Salisbury. There took gal that stuck out
all around like hay stack, an was screamer
at choir meetin' and such like. Her name was
Sal Green-one of the Greenses down in Peg
town-and the first time took notion to her
down to the old shingle meetin' house,
when Spooner had blrying.
''W hen the parson gave out hymn, she
Strengthened up like rooster at six O'Clock of
day-break, and let out string of screams that
set all the babies to yepiDg as though big pins
was goin' through their insides. Geewilkins,
how the crtter did squeal and turn up her
eyes like a sick duck in a shower. | was jest
fool enough to think it poorly and when my
old man says he, ssJed you're took all of
heap with that poorly creeter,' l felt if
chills and fever was giving me pertikiler ag
sony. Says /, s'She's armful fur the prince
OF Wales and eff that Bob Thompkins don't
stop making eyes ct her over there I'll give
him such lacing that he won't comb his
hair for six weeks.''
"The old man put chaw into his meat SAFE
and shut one eye, and, sez he: Jed, you're a
fool sf you don't hook that girls dress fur her
before next harvestin'. She's mighty
scrumptous creetur and jest about ripe for the
alter. just tell her ther's more Smithses
wanting an she'll leave the Greeuses without
snicker rather liked the idea told the
old man that bis punkin-pie was all squash
because it wouldn't do to let on too soon.
When the folks was starting from the church,
| went up to Sal, and sez Miss suppose
you wouldn't mind letting me see you tn hum
She blushed like a billed lobster, and sez she,
Il don't know your folks.' felt sorter streak
ed but give my collar hitch, and seq I,
'I'm Mister Smith; one Of the Smithses OF
this deestrct, and always willing for female
in distress. Then she made courtesy am
was going to say somethin' when Bob Thomp-
kins steps up, and seq he, ssThere's agoin' to
be another burying in this settlement, eff some
folks don't mind their own chores and quit
foolin' with other folkses company! This
riled me rite up, and sez /, sThere's feller
in this deestrct that hain't had spell Of lay
in' on his back for some time; but he's in i'm
'nediat danger of ketchng the disease bad.'
Bob took squint at the width of my chest,
aud then turned to Sal, who was shaking lik e
a cabbage leaf in summer gale, and sez he.
Sal, let's marvel out of bad company before it
spiles morals" With that he crooked
one of his smashing machines, and Sal was
Jest hookin' on, when put the weight of a
oout hundred pound under his ear aud sez l,
Jest lay there Bob Thompkins until your par-
ents comes out to look fur your body He
went down as eff he'd been took with sudden
aesire TO examine the roots OF the grass and
Sal creamed out that had murdered the ran
tankerous critter. Sez 1, sThe tomsun that's |
inr bis head amt out yet; but calkiIate it'll |
oe took out OF the query eff he comes smellin
round my heel agin. Jest as made this feel |
ln remark, the varmant begin to scratch earth |
as II he had mind to see how it would feel |
70 oe on his pins agin, and crooked my elbow |
70 Sai and thought it was about time to mar |
vel. She layed up to me like pig to rough |
pos', and We peregrinated along for some dis |
sa,as .anse until we were pretty nigh home. was
ashihg her If it hert her much when she sung, |
a.u sue was saying mot pertikeler' when all OF I
ssaooint somsthin' knocked fourth o. July |
A's"0fRs out Of my eyes, and went to the