The Cass County Republican. [volume] (Dowagiac, Mich.) 18??-1880, 1860-12-20
Artimus Ward Visits Brigam Y oung

MY ueSlre was TO eXnlDlt my great
show in Salt Lake City, so / called on
Brigham Yung, the great fnogul
amoung the mormins, and axed his
permishun to pitch my tent and unfurl
my banner to the jentle breezis. He
lookt at me in austeer manner for a
few minits, & sed.
"Do you believe in Solomon, St.
Paul, immaculatones of the Mormin
Church and the Latterday Reverla-
shuns %
Sez /, line on it % make it pint
to git along pleasant, tho / didn't know
what under the Son the old feller was
drivin at. He sed Il mite show"
You air marrid man, Mistur Yung,
l believer" sez 1, preparin to rite him
sum free parses. see = 9
81 hev eighty wives, Mister Ward,
/ sertainly am married"
"How do you like it as far as you
hev got ?' sed 1.
He sed Middlin," and axed me
wouldn't / like to see his fameely, to
which replied that wouldn't mind
minglin with the fair Seek & Barskin
in the winning smiles of his interestin
wives. He accordingly tux me to his
Scareum. The house is powerful big
g. in exceedin large room was his
wives and children, which lars twas
squawkin and hollerin enuff to take the
roof rite Off the house. The wimin
was of all sizes and ages. Sum was
pretty and sum was plane-sum was
healthy & sum was on the Wayne
which is verses, tho sich was not my
intenshuns, as / don't prove of putin
verses in Prose riting, tho eff occashun
requires ] can Jerk Poim ekal to any
of them Atlantic Monthly fellers. %
"My wives, Mister Ward, ,"sed Yung.
Your sarvent, marms," sed /, as / sot
down in cheer which red heded fe-
male brawt me.
"Besides these wives you see here,
Mister Ward" sed Yung, 81 have
eighty more in varis parts of this con-
secrated land which air Sealed to me. !"
Which ?'' sez L, gettin up and
starein at him. a'asag
"Sealed, Sir, sealed" ss,
"Where bowts ?' sez ].
"I sed, Sir, that they was sealed -
He spoke in traggerdy voice.
"Will they probably continue on in
that stile to any great extent. Sir r. |
axed. i.
Sir" sed he turnin as red as billed
beet, " don't you know that the rules Of
our Church is that ], the profit, may
hev as meny wives as wants p 81
"Ges so," sed. "You air old pie,
amt you?'
"Them as is sealed to me-that is to
say, to be mine when wants um-air
at present my spirretooul wives" sed
Mister Yung.
"Long may they !" sez seen
I shood git into scrape eff ! didnent
look out.
In privit conversahum with Brig
ham / lernt the follerin fax: 1t takes
him six weeks to kiss his wives. He
don't do it only onct yere d sez it is
wuss nor cleanin house. He don't pre-
tend to know his children, thare is so
many of um, tho they all know him.
Ilc btZ dDOuo CSCi Chiu uC iuCCtc Cdtic
him par, & he takes it for grantid it is
so. His wives air very expensiv. Thay
alters want suthin, & eff be don't buy it
for urn they set the house in an uproar.
He sez he don't hev a minits peace.
His wives fite amung themselves SO
much that he has built fitin room for
thare speshul benefit, & when too of
um git into row he has um turned
loose into that place, where the dispoot
is settled accordin to the rules of the
London prize ring. Sometimes thay
abooz hisself Individually. Thay hey
puIld the most of his hair out at the
roots & he wares meny horrible scar
upon his body, inflicted with mop
handles, broom-sticks q sich.
Occashunaly they git mad q scald
him with bilin hot waters When he
got eny waze cranky they'd shet him
up in dark closit, previsly whippiu