davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Democratic press. (Eaton, Preble County, Ohio) 1860-1865, 1860-11-08
A Good Joke.

Everybody remembers M'Donald
Clark who was so we'll known in
New York, few years since, as
the ''mad poet" During the last
years ofhis life, Clarke was made
free at the Aster House table, and
ottentimes this erratic man of gen.
ius could be seen accepting its hos
pitalities when other doors were
closed on his fallen fortunes. Ev-
cry one knew Clarke by sight: and
one day, while quietly taking his
dinner two southern men, seated
themselves opposite, commcncen
a conversation intended for the ears
of Clarke. One said:
"Wcll 1 have been in New York
two months and have seen all l
wished to see with one exception.
"Ah, what is that?"
"M'Donald Clarke, the great
poet" said No. l.
Clarke raised his eyes slowly
from his plate, and seeing that the
attention of the entire company
was directed to him, stood up, plac-
ing his hand over his heart and
bowing with great gravity to the
southcrners, said:
81 am M'Donald Clarke, the
great poet" "'5.
The southerner started in mock
surprise, gazed at him in silence for
a few moments, and then, amidst an
audible litter ofthe company drew
from his pocket a quarter of a dol
lar, and laying it before Clarke,
still lookingat him without q smile.
Clarke took the quarter in silence
and dignity, bestowed it in. his
pocket, drew thence a shilling,
which he deposited before the
southerner, with the words:
"Children, halfprice."
The filters changed to a roar,
and the southerners slopcd.
The Democratic press. (Eaton, Preble County, Ohio) 1860-1865, 1860-11-08

SSrA man not a thousand miles
from Syracuse, having made an
assignment some weeks since, was
called upon by a New York credit
or, to whom he exhibited hisbooks,
and with whom he proposed to set
tie by paying so cents on the dol
lar. ~ F5I'sg9' y-,'- a- a-a
o. The creditor asked, show can
{oHpay sc cents on, the dollar?-,
= our assets will not pay 40 cents,
"Well, never mind that" said
the generous debtor, "if my assets
will hot pay so, 1 willjmake up the
deficiency out ofmy own pocket"
The Democratic press. (Eaton, Preble County, Ohio) 1860-1865, 1860-11-08
Good Advice.

Those who wish to do good, but
hesitate to do it, would do well to
read the following. The reason
may be suggested to them by the
perusal: 1,.. v..F' ~ y
DO not delude yourself with the
idea that you can please everybody.
Who ever knew anybody that was
worth anything that had nobody
to find fault with him 2 You would
have to do evil in many cases to
please the evil, fatter some to graf
ify their pride; indulge the selfish,
submit to the tyranicaF, be a tool
for the ambitious, and be careful
not to have anything as good as
those who desire to have every
thing superior to their neighbors.
lfyou are a public man, should
you be dilligent, you must expect
to have many secretly dislike YOU
and talk against you, for your sue
cess and if you accomplish little,
though many show themselves
friendly, it often leaks out that
some who appear pleasant to you,
can do thus because they do not
fear your rivalry-they may smile
upon you outwardly, and Yet en-
tertain contempt for your ineffi-
GENTLY. Always do that which is
right, be diligent, do the most you
can, pay no regard to fault-fnders.
and you will find as many friends
as any sensible man need desire.
The Democratic press. (Eaton, Preble County, Ohio) 1860-1865, 1860-11-08

o@~The following extract from
a most deserving popular work,
called the Grover: or the Boot
blacks Wife's Sisters Nice" is aw-
fully thrilling. We will not insure
any young lady against fainting
right away at the close Of this ter
rife extract.
A dard frown o'ersprcad the
handsome and courtly features of
Fernando the Rover.
VIM. he asked brandishing his
silver hanG1'cd sword furiously
around, wilt thou net SGIieTe me,
beauteous Marie dc Argyle! by
this good sword, I swear I love
thee-truly, wildly, passionately,
love thee? Then, why stand 50
coldly aloof from this bosom which
is bursting for the?"
The beautiful girl essayed to
speak, but could not. ET y.
cha! exclaimed Fernando the
Rover, and o sadonic smile lit up
his face, then thou lowest another?
Nolshe tremblingly, yet indig-
nantly replied. za, .n94s.h ,rav =.
Then, why not eometo my arms !
wildly-exclaimed Fernando, the
Rover, ~ ....t -.. ....- 81
Beeausosir, she replied, drawing
herself up to. her full hight / fear
You are gassing! y. - -,
The Democratic press. (Eaton, Preble County, Ohio) 1860-1865, 1860-11-08
Cautious Men.

Some men use words as riflemen
do bullets. They say little. The
few words used go right to- the
mark. They let you talk. and
guide with their eye and face, on
and on, till what You say can be
answered in q word ortwo, and
then they launch out a sentence.
pierce the matter to the quick, and
are done. You never know where
you stand with them. Your con-
versation falls into their minds as
rivers fall into the deep chasms
and are lost from sight by its depth
and darkness. They VIII some
times surprise you with q few
words, that 60 right to the mark
like gun-short, and then they are
silent again, as if they were re-
loading.
The Democratic press. (Eaton, Preble County, Ohio) 1860-1865, 1860-11-08
A Remarkable Joke.

The following excessively witty
recipe, from Western paper, is
going the rounds of the press, with
various marks of appreciation. It
is evidently accounted "good
thing" ..-.... ..ai
"Take one pint of whisky, stir in
one spoonful of whisky, add ono
pint of whisky, and beat we'll with
asPoon. Take one gallon of water
and let servant carry it away be-
yond your reach, then put two
spoontuls Of waters in tumbler
Immediately throw it out and fiji
with whisky. Flavor with whisky
to suit the taste. Whep it is to be
kept long in warm climates, add
sufficient spirits to prevent sour
ing" H.. -
TO carry out the joke, there
should be a description of u case or
two Of delirium tremens, a wife
murder-as suicide-a family of pau
per children, crying for bread. or
stealing it-a fight and stabbing
match between boon companions
and triends-a scene such as the
Recorders court daily presents, of
a rabblc of fifty and fallen women
and biear,eyed, vagrant men-the
potter,s teld-the penitcntiary-
the gallows with its victim swing
ing in the air-and-what lies BE-
yond ..s.
How funny! What a capital
joke! Who wouldn't laugh? A.
The Democratic press. (Eaton, Preble County, Ohio) 1860-1865, 1860-11-08
Reverie of a Bachelor.

As your head falls back upon the
pillow, you think-in a whisper be
it spoken-how pleasant, in these
night solitudes, would be the rise
and fall of softer breathing than
your own, the slight pressure of a
tendcrcr bosom, the quiet throb of
a purer heart, imparting its peace
fulness to your troubled one, as if
the fond sleeper were revolving
you in her dream. ......-
The Democratic press. (Eaton, Preble County, Ohio) 1860-1865, 1860-11-08
Pass My Faults By.

Pass lay taults BY,
Perfection is an attribute e..
do not srrogate-- .... IT.
To Deity, must impute .i.
A quality so great, go. '
Just spirits housed-in with the Lord,
'Tis Su,d, are perfect made;
But mortals dwelling on oarth's sward
Are not Of such grade.
They never should presume to boast
OF such a state at all
Till they've resAined what Adam lost
By his degrading fall,
That l have faults, ay, many too,
don't, can deny;
But let me bog kind friends of you,
That you will pass them by.
For you, perhaps my faults have seen,
Or else have Of them heard,
For great and many have they been,
In action, deed, and word.
II l woro like Jehovah son,
Combining God and man,
l then should have no faults not one
For other folks to scan. ',..'t
His life alone the model gives, ' ''':
For perfect word and deed
We're all my words and deeds like his,
OF faults I would be free.
But I havefaulta, ay, many, too,
As l cannot deny; ....
So let me beg, kind friends, of you,
That you will pass them by
The Democratic press. (Eaton, Preble County, Ohio) 1860-1865, 1860-11-08
Selected Poetry.
Love is a Faithless Ocean.
BY FINLEY JOHNSON.

Love is q faithlesss ocean, 'l-" .G.ir
Upon its tide awhile W. .- '.'4 B. s1
Our way is chCered by sunbeams bright,
And Summers gentle smile. -...'
Oh would its waves always reflect ..-s.
The beams of hopes pure soul;
Ny tears would never have been shed
For thee, my longlost one.
Few, few there are who comfort me,
Within this world SO vain, -. ..
And, oh / how little they do heed
A lovers JOY or pain; . ....
But for thee, love, l mourn alone, H..
My tears shall sacred bo; rf. g..
l will not ask tear but mine
To be poured out for thee
Thy form Of passing beauty
| SEQ before me now;
see the seal of intellect
Stamped on thy lofty brow;
l saw in thee with loves pure eyes, -.
The germ of noblcst things, ..
But now the thought that thou art gone
A keoner anguish brings.
Oh, God! 1 never can forget .....
When thou vert placed below; .
Ny heart-my heart sinks even now
Beneath its weight of woe;
The very thought exalts my pain,
AS time his race doth rum
Death parted US, alas alasI
Ny lost, my long loved one.
Why should Loves chair be severed?
Why were its links not fast2 ... -.
Why should our hopes so richly bloom
To wither in the blast? ....
For thou vert all ever craved, ...
And this fond heart of mine
Wished for no other happiness .
Than that pure love ofthine.
But far beyond Lifes ocean
There rs better shore; 90.
And it's soothing thought to know
That | shall meet thee there;
And when my lamp Of love burns low,
When my swift course is run, .
Thank God, thank God, shall be joined
To thee my long lost one ...
The Democratic press. (Eaton, Preble County, Ohio) 1860-1865, 1860-11-08

SSrA good many Years ago a
Massachusetts man was elected to
the office of Lieutenant Governor.
When the fact of the election was
announced, he was called upon for
a speech. He proceeded to ac-
knowledge the honor in very hand
some terms, and added that he had
no doubt he should make a svery
good Lieutenant Governor as that
was the Office he had always held
in his opn house. ',''
The Democratic press. (Eaton, Preble County, Ohio) 1860-1865, 1860-11-08

A LITTLE Too LATE---.Ah Irish
man was once -1;-induiging in the
very iitep SCtual 4 occupation of
sucking eggs and reading S'news-
paPer.G RysOme misChance hecon-
trlved to bolt q live chicken, The
poor bird chirped as. it went down
his throat, and he very politely OBJ
served: ''Be the powers me friend
you spoke little too late."' 80
The Democratic press. (Eaton, Preble County, Ohio) 1860-1865, 1860-11-08

Da~Two men, strangers to each
other iff one day, and spoke to
each other in Z mistake,2a One Of
them happening to be an Irishman,
made an apology in this manner;
90, Gorrah, Its all a n1istakX!1 I
thought it was you; . an"oL - =
thoughtitwas me. ~ ~. ~ you
.ofus.' .'5f,,r ,,,5, "ut '!.,lI.i y Is maine, na'ner
The Democratic press. (Eaton, Preble County, Ohio) 1860-1865, 1860-11-08

pA-lf wewere asked to say what
we considered a sign Of true great
ness, we should point to those who,
instead of waiting for some greut
opportunity to, do something noble,
avail themselves of every day oc-
casions, and carefully improve the
most ordinary opportunities Of do
ing good. These are truly great.
No occasion is too insignificant for
them to dignity it by improving it.
The Democratic press. (Eaton, Preble County, Ohio) 1860-1865, 1860-11-08

.na.A distinguished foreigner
who was stopping at one of the
Boston hotels, found some boiled
Indian corn on the table at dinner,
a dish to which he was unaccus-
toned. Following examples SCI
around him, he ate of the corn, and
liking it very much, he passed the
cob to the waiter, and asked to have
more corn put on it. ..t~-a
The Democratic press. (Eaton, Preble County, Ohio) 1860-1865, 1860-11-08
Hard to Please.

Pitts is a fast man, a sharp man,
a man of business tact. And when
Pitts goes into a store to trade, he
always gets the lowest cash price,
and he says, "Well I'll look about,
and if don't find anything that
suits me better, l'll call and take
this" ...... .'
Pitts, like all fast men, is partial
to women, and young ones in par
ticular. Now, quite lately, Pitts
said to himself, M am getting rath-
cr along in years, and 1 guess I'll
get married" ..,.. .. .....,
Ills business qualities wouldn't
let him wait, so off he travels, and
calling upon a lady friend, opened
the conversation by remarking that
he would like to know what she
thought about his getting married.
"Oh, Mr.. Pitts, that is an affair
in which | am not so greatly inter
estcd, and prefer leaving it with.
yourself" Ira
"But," says Pits, ''you are inter
ested; and, my dear girl, will you
marry mc?' 81
The young lady blushed very red,
hesitated, and finally,-as Pitts was
very well to do in the world, and
morally, financially and politically
of good standing in society, she ac-
cepted him. Whereupon the mat
ter of fact, Pitts Responded ..
"Well, well, I'll look about, and
if I don't find anybody that suits
me better, I'll come back"
The Democratic press. (Eaton, Preble County, Ohio) 1860-1865, 1860-11-08
,..., WILLIAM ENGLE,
Fashionable Tailor ,

HAS rc-opened shop on Baron Street,
Ill over W. c. Campbell's Book Store,
where he is prepared to make anything in his
hRe, in the latest and most approved style.
Thankful for past favors he respectfully
solicits of his old friends and patrons con-
tnuance Of their custom. s6As Repairing
and cutting done onaShort notice. ,
- Eaton August %, 1860. If
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1860-02-23

NOTICE 10 hereby given that by virtue Oh a
IN power contained In certain Deed of Trust *
ocuted to me on the I'D OK January, A. d. 1858 BY
Il. p. Creel, Of the city Of Ksokuk, Lee county,
Iowa, for the purpcse Of securing to Reynolds 4
certain pramissorv noss f by MID r. p.
creel and endorsed by sR. r. Lowe ON The Emit day
III October, 1887, for the sum of nine hundred and
seventy three dollars, stated In said Decd Of
Trust the said SUM Of money rot having been paid
according to the terms and stipuIations contained
in said Deed of Trust, George b. Felt will On The
Gath day of March, 1850, between the hours of Q
o'clock q. m and clock p. IN. OF said day, al the
door Of the Clerks ofsce Of the District Court, in
the city of Keokuk, Lee county, Iowa, proceed to
sell at public auction to the highest bidder, for
cash, the following described real estate mention
ed in said Deed OF Trust, to-wit: Twenty co. feet
on the west side OF let ten (10) In block twenty
eight extending the whole length Of said lot
one hundred and forty l14o) feet, with all the APP
purtenances thereunto belonging situate in the city
of Keokak, Lee county, Iowa, and execute deed
to the purchaser. GEORGE ID. FELT.
Jan. q. Il S6G-dtd
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1860-02-23

brtEtn0r Notice.
TO MARY ANN CRAIG, Richard Craig and John
Winthrop:
VoU hereby notified that there is now
l. ON file 10 the Clerks Office Of the District
Court Of Lee County, Iowa. at Reokuk, the petition
Of Samuel X. VOORHEES, claiming of you the fore
closurs Of q mortgage executed by the said Nary
Ann Craig on the following real estate situate in
Ice comfy, icwa, towit: Twenty-Five (25) icet of
OF lot twelve l2) In block one hundred and fifty
six 1861, in the City Of Keosuk, and bounded as
follows commencing at point on the eastery line
OF said lot twelve twenty five feet from tho alley
In said bltck thence along sail eastcry line ard in
herly direction twenty fge (25) feet; thence
in a westerly direction parallel with Biondcau
street fifty t5Ol feet: thence In n northerly direc-
tion along the line Of said lot twelve twenty-five
feet twance in easterly direction fifty l5D feet
70 the place Of beginning AM claiming also, I'M
der said mortgage, q judgment or decree agans,
! the said Richard Craig and Mary Ann Craig for
the sum of four hundred dollars, with ten por cent
per anuum interest thereon from the 9th day ei
June, 1887, and praying also for sale u said
| PrGT0rtys and ALSO for general relief.
NOW, therefore, unless you appear and answer
said petition ON or before the second day OF The
| nc xt term Of said Court to be ut Kookuk holden
| judgment will be rendered against you thereon.
THOMAS III. GREGORY,
Solicitor for Petitioner.
February 10, 1Sf0-dlm
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1860-02-23
Original Norice.

TO DANIEL S. F0RRESTER.
NOU arc hereby notified that there ia new on & lie
Il in the Clerks Office Of the District Court OF
Lee County. Iowa, at KeokuE, a petition OF
Samuel T. VOORHEES,, claiming OF you the foreclosure
Of mortgage on the following real estate, situate
in Lee county, Iowa to- wit: Part of lets seven IA
and eight {S) in block hundred and seventy -one
OLD, in the City Of heokuk, bounded az follows,
to-wit; commencing az point on the westerly line
IT said bot seven ~ ninety-eiPht 1881 feet from
BANK street, themes in a northerly direction along
the inc OF said lot seven tortytwo feet to the
ALLEYS theme along the southery line Of said alley
and in an easery direction ninety q0l feai thence
in southerly direction parallel to twelfth street
forty-two (4f feet; thence in westerly direction
lei ess RaFs nirfat too feGt, TO the
place Of beginning. And claiming also, under said
mortgage, decree or judgment for Ms hundred
and flty doilars with ten Per cent. per annum in
terest thereon from February 2st, 1857, and pray
ing also for general relief.
Now, therefore, unless you appear and answer
said petition before tho I'd day Of next tie I'm.
Of said Court to be at Keokuk holden, jgdg-
ment win be rendered against you thereon.
THOMAS M. GREGORY,
Solicitor for Plaintiff.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1860-02-23

Standard Apple Trees, from to years, very fine;
do. Peach one year from bud; seedlings 3 years;
do, and Dwarf Pears, i, "a years, from bud ;
do, and do Cherries. Ayers from bud. fine;
Ounce Bushes, Plum Trees, EArly May Cherries,
Grape Vines, Straw berries and Chestnut Trees;
Black berries--New Rochelle or Lawton;
Gonseberries-Honght Seeding, Large English
Prolific;
Currants-Red Dutch, White Grape and Black
English;
Rhuharh- Victoria, large and fine;
Red CEDAR choice lot, from TO feet high.
Also, White Cedar, Pines, FRS, SavaIs, Rose
Bushes, Shrubs, &c. We offer great inducements to
those who want trees, more especially Apple ~ We
wish to clear portion OF our grounds.
RENE mbcr the place % miles from City, on
Plank Road and come and get your trees fresh
from the Nursery, as We have no agents doing kusi-
ness for us. KAY h BERNARD.
Jani4-dw3m.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1860-02-23
Ayers Cathartic Pills,
FoR ALL THE PURPOSES Of / FAMILY pvys,o

are 80 composed that disease within the range Of
their action can rarely Withstand or Grade them
iheir penetrating properties search, and cleanse,
and inyigorate every portion of the humar orran.
ism, correcting its diseased action and restoring
Its healthy vitahties. As consequences OF these
properties, the invalid who il bowed down with
pain or physical debility is astoniahed To fnd his
health or energy restored by remedy at once SO
simple and inviting.
Not only do they cure the everyday complaints
OF every body, but also many formidable and
dangerous diseases. The agent below named ID
pleased to furnish gratis my American Almanac,
containing certificates Of their cures and directions
for their use in the following complaints Costire
ness, Heartburn, Headache d,Ising from dssordered
Stomach, hausea, Indigestion Pam in and Morbid
I'sactioa Of The Bosoeis, Flatai,cy, Loss of 4ppe
fsfc, Jamaice, and other kindred Complaints
arising from low state OF the body OF obstruction
OF its functions. They are an excellent Alternative
for the renovation of the blood and the restora-
ton OF tone and strength to the system debltated
by disease.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1860-02-23
OriglnaI NOTICE.

fEsO NELSON SAGE: You are hereby notified
l tina There IL now on file in the Clerks Office of
the District Court of Lee County, Iowa At Keokt
petition and amended petition of Henry u. De-
Louis and Louise O. Del.ouis. minors, who sue by
their aardian, Martin Stafford, claiming OF You
the reverson in fee simple IF the following real es-
tate, situated In Lee county, Iowa, yiz the undi-
yidei seven-eighths OF Lot No. 10 in Hlock No. 65
in the city of Aeokuk; said reversion being ex.
pectant the estate for life of Henry =. DcLouis
therein; said petition also claiming that petition
ers' title to said reversion against you be de-
ternined and forever QUOTED. Now, therefore, IN
less you appear and answer to said petition ON or
bofare the second day of the If said Court
at keokuk to he holden, Judgment win be render
cd against you thereon.
CURTIS, GILLMOREA CURTIS,
Jan. 4, lS60-4w Att'ys for Petitioners.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1860-02-23
AYERS
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Intermittent Fever, or Fever ana Axuc.
Remittent Fever, Chill Fever, Dasab
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No one remedy ia louder called for by the
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this baleful distemper. This "CuRs" expcls
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1t is hoped this price viii place it within the
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Fever and Ague il not alone the consequences
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