Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1860-06-07


democratic politician must do. You are to
blame for this whole thing. Your blatherins
defeated us. No cause could prosper sup
ported by such nuisance. No wonder the
Dutch left us in the lurch and went over to
the Opposition. There are my COMPOUNDED
straps loose again. Button them, Cleaver,
and, while your hand is in, just give my boots
little polish. (Clearcr buttons and po1ishes.)
There, that will do. you shall have the lock-
I CAside1 must lie; no, no, he shan't have
it; it is promised to dozen, and to satisfy
| them all, will sell it out to the highest bid
der. Oh! conscience what sad thing it
is to be democratic politician Good NOR
ming. Mr.. Crabbhead. This is bad business,
they say the Dutch, whom thought had
fooled again, have in fact fooled me, defeat
ed our ticket, and gone over to the Opposi-
ton.
CRABBHEAp.-If the court please-oh my
head is so bothered. | don't know what
am saying. should say, that believe you
are correctly informed. But think there is
remedy. I'll lay mandamus and compel
the Judges to count the fraudulent votes
thrown out. OF course the whole bar is a.
garst me, but don't care a Continental
There is nothing like being stubborn, conceit-
ed aud opinionative. 1t very often compen-
safes for a weak head, and makes one pass for
wise man. At least such is the opinion of
my Lord Campbell when speaking Of Chan
cellor Thurlow. But that's beside the ques-
ton. The point is, I'll lay mandamus.-
The law as laid down in Latrobe is clear
very clear.
CLEAvER.-Hear hear what wonder
full cxpounder of the law. It's great pity
OConnell hadn't him at bis back in the Re-
pail movement. / YVES dhrivin pigs thin.
PILL Box.-Blatherskit | 1 tell you don't
Interrupt the gentleman.
CLEAvER. Do coorse not. But | like the
drift of his remarks exceedingly. Just wait,
though, until he gives the Dutch one of his
left hand pothoags, iv you want to see sport.
CRABBHEAn. Yes, Pill Box, you laid the
ropes to carry this election and, having laid
them, You acquired right to manipulate
them, and any interference with them by the
Dutch
CLEAvER-Sound my darlnt! More pow
er to yer elbow Give it to EN- until they
think the whole constabulary Of England is
afther them like grey hounds.
CRAsBHEAD.-anda any interference with
said ropes by the Dutch is manifestly uncon-
illegal and void. That's common
law from the time of Richard, or, if you please
from the days of Alfred.
CLEAvER.-And you might say the muir
iher in Cromwell and Stronglow too, the dir
~ bastes.
CRABBHEAD. Here's our learned and pro
found friend, Shallow agrees with me in my
view Of the law. Don't you Shallow?
SHALLOW Yes, sir, bring the matter be-
fore me, and, as Dogberry would say, write
ne down an ass, if don't sustain you right
,r wrong Latrobe is clear. Pill Box laid
them ropes to carry this election and ketch
The Dutch and the Dutch had no right to
ketch him. It's flat burglary, sir.
Cleacer. Blur. an-ouns and that's substan-
tial doctrine, Misther Shallow, and no mis-
take. Give me yer ould sthrocke yet The
'iivi run away wild me if yer not credit to
the magistracy altogether. Big headed man
ners in the Four Coorts of Dublin couldn't
hould candle to you.
Shallo,O. Yes, sir, lay the maudamus be-
re me, and, may never petition again, IT,
don't send every Dutchman in the county to
Jail. They are all goi e to vote for Bell and
Everett al yhow, and III pitch into them
right off. Pill Box, say Pill Box, they got
hold Of your ropes, and they had no right to
do it.
Pill Boa. THAT is SO, Shallow; but you
must keep cool and not get into such asweat.
It's bad policy.
Clearer.-Yes Shallow, Misther Pill Box
il right. Don't allow yer passions to rise
That's what did while pig dhrivin.
Shallow. Policy! Policy! don. care
three jumps Of flea about policy.
Clearer. Troth and you had betther care
about it, now mind what I'm tellin you. II
you don't I'm thinkin the next time the de-
makracy runs you for the magistLracy the
Dutch will come down on you like the Danes
and give you what Paddy did the dhrum--a
divil of beatin. Do you mind that, Shall
low2
Shallow. Pill Box will save me.
Clearer. The dvil the save ITSELF Yer
past savin--you are by Saint Pathrick the
greatest Of all the apostles.
Pill Bor. say. shallow, keep cool keep
cool This is hot weather.
p. B. Now gentlemen attend to me-
Thirty years have gone by since commence
ed the part of a .himble rig er among the
democracy of Allegany. Thisis the first time
have been outmatrhed. Heretofore l al.
ways caught the Dutch. Now they have
caught me, and am afraid will hold on to
me. They have ruined me with the democ-
racy. They have also left that party and
gone over to the Opposition, as the late cleo
ton shows--such is their hatret for me. The
poor democracy here is, therefore, to use the
language of my friend Brick, "clean busted
up and every man must look out for HIM
self. and hold on to all the spells he can. !
have already done that. Just look at my Of
gee on the Canal and all the pickings. I am
obliged to you for helping me to get it. !
shall never be able to repay you. ! am done
with politics. my influence is gone, and, like
a converted sinner, must now look after my
soul. My parting advice to you is never a.
gain to hitch yourselves to the coat tail Of an
aid marty hack like me, But before we part.