davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1860-02-10
A Glass Of Brandy

Can't hurt anybody. Why know per-
son, yonder he is now on high change. IA >pe-
cimen Of manly beauty, portiy six fouter.
He has the bearing Of Il prince, for he is one
of our merchant princes. His face wears
the ruddy hue of health, and how at the aye
OF fifty odd he has the quick, elastic step Of
our Young men at twenty-five, and none
more full of wit and mirth than he, and
know that he never dimes without brand,
and water, and never goes to bed without u
terrapin or oyster supper with champagne,
be drunk. So here is living example and
disproof Of the temperance twaddle about the
dangerous nature Of an occasional glass, and
the destructive effect of temperate use Of
good liquors.
Now it SO happened that this specimen of
safe brandy drinking Vas relation Of ours.
He died III Year or two after that of chrun-
ic diarrhoea, common end of those who are
never drunk and never out of liquor. lie
left his six children and he had his ships in
every known .ea, ard his credit ut every
counter, which he never had any occasion tu
use.
For months before he died-he was a year
in dying-he could eat Or drink nothing
without distress, and at his death the whole
alimentary canal was mass of disease-il
the r,idst of the millions he died of inan,ior
That is not the half. reader. He had been a
steady drinker, daily drinker for more than
twenty eight years. He left legacy to his
children that We did not mention. Scrofua
had eaten up one daughter for fifteen years
another is in the madhouse, the third and
fourth of unearthly beauty, there was kind
OF grandeur in that beauty but they blighted
and paled, and faded into heaven We trust,
in their sweetest teens, another is ,ot:ering
on the verge of the grave, and only one is
left with ali her senses, and each OF them as
w.ak as water. Why, We came from the dis
sec,ing room and made note Of it it Wa,
so very horrible.-Ur. Halls journal of
Health.
The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1860-02-10
Reliaious &fadine.
The Curatc who Mended Clocks.

A cula,e in the South of France was accu-
sed before his bishop of degrading his most
sacred function by the mtEdins of clocks for
hire.
"Does he neglect his official dutes?" said
the bishop.
No." replied those who brought the i'm
parchment. "he lis good preacher ard a
goo man. kind to the poor, and attentive in
administering to the afflicted. But it seems
scandalous To us that The hcly office should
be destcraed ly mechanical labors and sor-
did gains"
Summon him before me-" said the bish-
op.
The curate oheyed the summons, and stood
before his bishop.
"Monsieur lie cure" said the bishop, Il
have received a grave charge against you. 1t
is said that you degrade the pricstly func
tions by mechanical and mercinary labors"
ut is not to be Denied my lord" replied
the cura,e. "that have performed such la
bors. My salary was so small as scarcely to
suffice to keep soul and body together, and
left nothing for hospitality and charity. Hav-
ing mechanical turn. l have a,te pied as
] could do 81 without infringing on nv
ministerial duties, to piece cut IN. scanty in
come by mending clocks, for which received
Il compensation
Your own cnnfession," said the bishop,
''rerders further process unnecessary. lcan-
no, permit The holy Office to be associated to
a trade. The care of souls demands all YOUR
time and thoughts. 1t becomes my duty to
administer to you an etfectual admoni,ion 10
devote yourself in future wholly to your
ministry. You will find your sentence in this
paper"
, SO saving he handed to him paper which
he had in the meanwhile been writing. The
poor curute took the Elimination of episcopal
wrath and withdrew. When he opened it he
found presentation to very handsome Ii,
ing.
Some American congregations would do
we'll to act on The principles which prompted
the bishop to this just and wholesome act of
severity. The best way TO prevent desecra.
ton Of the sacred office BY incompatible pur-
suits is to make it unnecessary.
The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1860-02-10
9ittlf-or-Aothinas.
Scraps from Vanity Fair.

Ccol The Herald of the first inst, al!u-
dino ~ the faci that negro WAS frozen to
death in Brooklyn, says, Southern slaves
are no, ,ermitted to suffer in this manner y
We never heard of a Hegro's freezing to
dsath down South except in one instance.but
then the ice was forwarded from the North
expressly for the purpose. The Heralds We
racitv, reliability, &c. must have weight, and
we venture to az wee with the Herald.
The Present st. 'le Of Ladies' Dresses
The low ard behold style.
Bad for the Union Uoctors.-The violent
Rrownchial affection, so prevalent few
weeks since in some port IONS of the North
seems to he rapidly ahating:
Warehouse Poet,y-A model advertise
ment writer in the Herald calls the sewing,
machine "swift-fnsered sister OF love and
charity" Let US hereafter speak o. the cook
ing range only as the warm-hearted minister
to appetite and contentment. OF the da-
guerreotype apparatus as the brightfaced re-
hector uf beauty and worth. and among OF ''er
ingenious mechanical productions. Of the
model advertisement writer as the soft-headed
distributor of meiliAuous soap.
Wise and Winy.-A correspondent. refer
ring to the paraphrazed pr"verb in our last
issue, "a word from, the wise is sufficient,
beps to know what that word is.
T;s asked .what word that Wise might utter,
would
Be satisfactory to all that heard."
We wish to have it plainly understood
There's but one word for Wise. and-mum
the word.
Tinous.-If old wine is good, is elder wine
bs tier?
Help Wonted-Bv lady-~hose husband
obtains his meals away from home. and who
oul1 only give trouble in the evening and
very early in the morning, ard whose ch'l
lren are boarded out-a !ourg lady I" take
entire charge Of the domestic department
She can have her afternoons, evenings anc
SUNDAYS to herself. with unlimited privileges
for een,lemen's society in the kitchen. lr
that apartment are rocking-chairs and loun
;! ees With choice library Of works OF hctio:
The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1860-02-10
Carrying Revolver ut WasIi.efo..

Prentice, of the Louisville Journal, give. .
little OF his experience during q recent visi,
10 Washington. a. follows:
When We were at Washington, two or
.Iree weeks ago, We heard from all ou,rters
Una! Inc great mass of the member, Of bo,b
seetlons went heavily freigh,ed with ali sorts
VI portable iaclIitie. for letting blood. We
e'e we were rather pet of both sections
anu We hope We betray no confidence in ~.
ing mat whenever northern and sou,hern
members got little maudlin and thrrv ,hrir
arms affectionately around us (of cour,e to
steady themselves) We almost invariably felt
the butts Of pistols and the hats of bowie
knives press against our shrinking frame.
One morning We put our overcoat in the rack
at Browns Hotel, and went in to breakfast.
"hen We returned our coat was gone. but
another somewhat resembling it Law near.
We took up the latter. but put it hack With
horror on finding big. frigh,ful looking re-
voiEer in one Of the pockets. With some
mlsslvlngs such as man might be supposed
to feel in opening what he suspected to be
an internal machine, we took up the next.
and 10, there was big pistol in one pocket
and something IN the other that We didn't
stop to examine. Finding the rack to be a
well furnished arsenal We withdrew and the
day being cold We remained in the hotel an
hour aid half, carefully scrutinizing the in
teguments Of every gentleman that seemed
to have particularly genteel overccat. At
length We returned to the arsenal, and the
coat first examined by US still remained
there. Concluding that even a FIRE eater
could not have been hreakfasting SO long un-
less upon burning Goals and aquafortis tea,
We were about calling servant to take the
tire-arm out Of the pocket I'VE have a mortal
antipathy to touching such things ourselves)
intending to wear the coat, for it vas a very
handsome one, until We should encounter
our own handsomer one. At that moment
Il very mild hammered western member Of
Congress stepped up with an embarrassed
look, and seeing at once that We looked like
a gentleman who had los, something, remark
ed that he really believed he had got some
body else's overcoat. The matter was all
right at once.
The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1860-02-10
Fight with Boa Constructor at Roston.

1t was only week or two since that We
announced the arrival at Salem from Africa
of Ii monster Gna constructor in size one Of
the largest ever brought to this country. lis
length in its quiet state was full thirty feet
with a caIahili'y of extension when in motion
To nearly fort, feet. In its largest part i,
WAS some twenty inches in circumference
This shake was purchased by Mr.. Goodwin
broker of this city. and place. Oh exhibition
at horticultural hall. School street. where il
proved quite attractive. Las, week however
the SHAKE exhibited symptoms of illness in
the form of indigestion. and upon one occa-
sion Mr.. Bishop. the keeper. removed num-
her of feathers of an animal winch the rep
tile had swallowed, from lis throat. On Sun
dav the snake was treated to warm bath.
and Mr.. Bishop vas a.rin attempting to re-
move some distractions from lis throat, when
the shake suddenly exhibited signs of hosti-
tv, erected its head, seized Mr.. B. hv the
hand. and commenced to coil its enormous
length about the body of the keeper, in or
der to crush him to death. The other atten-
dants in the first moment of alarm retr, atetl.
but recalled by the c,ies for help of the i'm
IIISoltu hteItI, tItH dI thttt iHcu>tlNeS WIEN
clubs and commenced To belabor the snake
in order to induce him to release his hold
No impression was made, however, and one
coil was already around the body of The un-
fortunate man, when Il brother rf MIR. Good
win came to the rescue with large hammer
With this he struck the snake two violent
blows upon the head, which together with a
violent choaking about the throat. induced
the reptile to unloo>e its coil, when Mr. Bis!
op was at once set free from his horrible i'm.
prisonment. The snake soon began to sink
under this treatment and in two hours was
dead. Its remains were purchased by Mr.
Eickery of l..nn. who will have the skin,
stuffed for preservation.-Boy Trareller.
! LONG AND SHORT DAYs-At Berlin and
London the longest day has sixteen hours
and half, at Stockholm i, has ,i.hteen and
half hours, at llambur.h seventeen hours
and the shortest seven, at st. Petersburgll
the longest day was nineteen and the short
est FIVE hours. at Tornea in Finland the lon
sest day has twen,y-one hours and half
and the shortest two hours and a half, al
Wanderhus in NORWAY the day lasts from tn,
DIST of May to the 22l of July and at Spi,z
bergen the longest day is three months ant
half.
The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1860-02-10

Some years ago, druggist. sup country"
used IN be great on stunning advertisements
nt wonderfn. Panaceas that would cure every
Thug iron the aurora borealis to pimple."
1t was during the time when young fellows
about town were on the alert for any sort of
joke. and one Sunday morning the good
druggist saw suspended over the door Of his
place of business a large black snake, to
which was appended placard which read
thus: This worm was removed from child
four years of age, by two doses Of Com
stocks Eermituge."
REMARKABLE FINALE TO THE CHICAGO
SICkLEs CASE. Our readers are ALREADY ia
miliar with the features of an affair occurring
not long since in Chicago, where an enraged
and outraged husband named Williams, a
Young German, attempted To avenge himself
It la S;ckle>, by shooting kauf hulz. The
latter recri, cd severe wound, and, but for
the brave defense made by his dog, would
have been killed. Williams made straight
rl>h to the jail. and demanded TO be commit
ted, aa,ing il was "a Sickles case
He evidently believed and Openly express
ed his wish that kauf holz would die. The
Latter. however. didn't die. but ION the con-
,rary. quite the reverse" for he sent for Mrs.
Williams. and while the husband was cool
ing his rage in Jail. and waiting for death to
a,enge his wrongs. Kauf holz vas enjoying
The society and attendance of the frail aud
6ci,e dame, under which treatment he recoy-
e;ed 80 fast that on Thursday the guilty cou-
pie packed up their traps. with everything of
Williams they could lay their hands on
Chicago Press. 2lst.
tF SAKE was at Trenton, n. J., the other
evening. when the gas went out The poet
lhereupon RIM ,rked shat if the audience
would promise not to find fault with his me-
ter he would never mention the defect of
/ theirs"
0 Some Of the tavern-keepers out West
are getting alarmed q, the extent to which
the Wholesale liquor merchants adulterate
In; ir beverages, and are about petite ming
for more limited use of strychnine. They
say so much is now infused into their spirits
that j, doa't give customer time to pay fox
| his whisky.
The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1860-02-10

back ache big enough to divide among the
children Of Israel. If you catch US on the
smooth. CLASSY, chilling. zink.treacherou!s'
decri,ful, slippery and si;puppery ice again.
you'll know it If any ore eser hears OF us
skating again, they will please draw on US
for the bivalves and accompanying docu-
ments, We have got through skating: itis
a vexation of specie, of business, Of flesh.
and tearer of trowsers. It's head-bump-
ing, back-aching, ieg-wearying institution.
and We warn people against skating. We
tried it, and shan't be able to walk for a
month. Skating clubs are humbugs, and all
the rascally youngsters wish is to get the la
dies at it. that they may see-ifthey, too,
don't say, 1,he ice is dreadfully cod" Its
nothing to US, but the ladies will do as well
to let sk ates alone, unless they are younger
and more elastic than are We. Ugh! how
cold the ice is-we can feel it yet !-Niluau-
kee Ners.
The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1860-02-10

The beds are given out to make, the scrub
bing is done by special contract, and the la
dy Of the house cleans her own pots and
washes her own dishes. She will also if a.
greeable to the one who takes the situation,
insert in the agreement instruction on the
piano and guitar, with Italian and singing.
Wages no object. Young ladies Of the Hi
bernian nation would be preferred, especially
those who come fresh from the green hills Of
Erin. Applications will receive immediate
attention. Address Laura Matilda, care Of
this naner
The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1860-02-10
Crime and the Sabbath.

The New York Sabbath Committee have
published All important document on "Sun-
dav Theatres" Sacred Concerts" "Beer
Gardens.' etc. 1t exposes the vices Of these
mostly German "custnms" One Of it's most
striking passages is tabular view Of the ef-
tcts Of the execution Of the law for the sup.
preston Of the Sunday liquor traffic.
1t appears from these statistics. that while
the arrests of the police in 1858, when the
liquor shops were open, were an average Of
The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1860-02-10
Short Sermon for ssYoung America"

Short Sermon for ssYoung America"
A clergyman writing about the fast young
men, Of the present day. says: ut is seldom
that young man goes to college with the
deliberate purpose of living viciously; but
he is weak. He is taken into the company
Of a set of men senior to himself with whom
it is qualification to associate; he finds a.
mOng them habits of thought and ex preston
and act, which in his soul he loathes but he
is weak how can he resist the evil nav,
how can he avoid taking part in it, for he
must not, he thinks, make himself singular !;
so the lcen,ious thought, or the coarse word.
or the oath, is welcomed with smile, and
from the smile the advance is rapid to the
partaking in what he first shrank from, and
from partaking in it to glorying in it, and
from thence becoming the temp,er to others,
as he had been himself tempted, and fallen.
Or. again, it may not be direct sin, but idle
ness, into which man is tempted by weak
ness. He may find that others are idle, that
there are the counter claims of amusements
and societies which interfere with the claims
OF study he does not deliberately determine
to he idle. and to throw away that precious
time which no after exertion or regrets will
recover; but circumstances lead him intu
idleress, and he has not the strength to re-
sist-he is weak. Here. then, is one main
element of that childessness which we have
to put away-the weakness which, in spite
of the prompting Of our better nature, leads
US into sin of idleness from the example of
others, or what we choose to call the force OF
circumstances. And closely connected with
this weakness is cowa!dice. We are afraid
of our neighbors, or, rather. of our own i'm
asination Of what our neighbors think of US.
1t may be that We despise in our hearts the
very men by whom We are led, and detest
their sentiments and tone Of mind; but.nev.
ertheless, We are led by them. we applaud
their sentiments. We adopt their tone" Was
the text for the above excellent discourse Ia
ken from Job: The foolish man is ACCOM-
plished before his time. and his branch shall
not be green. Job XIV. 80. ]-Home Jour-
na(
The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1860-02-10
TIL E CALEDONlAN n
q. M. STONE a, OC
T.JOHNSBURY. VT

TERMS.-One copy per annum. also
II not paid within the year $500
U No paper discontinued till all arrcaragts s
are p/d. except at the option of the publishers.
The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1860-02-10

C. Never pay the printer when he first
presents his bill 10 you, for such an unex-
pected phenomenon might Cause a rush
Of blood to the head and throw him into a
fit.
The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1860-02-10

trenty- -tre per cent. more on Sundays than
ON Tuesdays; in 1889, when the liquor shops
were sstensibly closed, the arrests were with
in fraction Of fifty per cent. more Tuesdays
than on Sundays: showing a gratifying
change Of serenty. .fre per- cent. in faror Of
order and morals, as the result Of the en-
forcement of the Sunday Liquor Lar, and
improved Sabbath sentiment.
Another result, scarcely less cheering, is
the fact that the ratio Of arrests is steadily
diminishing on both Sundays and Tuesdays.
Thus. there were 654 arrests on four Sundays
in July, 1859; on the Sundays of November
there were but 45l.
The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1860-02-10
Sflefted Poetry.
Wanted--A Minister,


Some eighteen months or more.
And though candidates are plenty
We've had at least score
All Of them "tip-top" preachers,
Or SO their letters ran
Were just as far as ever
From set ny on the man.
The first who came among us
By no means was the worst,
But then We didn't think of him,
Because he was the first;
1t being quite the custom
To sacrifice few,
Before the church in earnest
Determines what to do.
There was a smart young fellow
With serious. earnest way.
Who, but for one great blunder.
Had surely won the day;
Who left SO good impression,
On Monday. one or two
Went round among the people
To see if he would do.
The pious. godly portion.
Had not fault to find;
His clear and searching preaching
They thought the very kind
And all went smooth and pleasant
Until they heard the views
OF some inf uential sinners
Who rent the highest pews.
On these his pungent dealing
Made but sorry hit;
The coat of gospel teaching
Was quite too tight fit
OF course his fate was settled
Attend. ye parsons all
And preach to please the sinners
II you would get a call.
Then wearying of candidates,
We looked the country through,
Mid doctors and professors,
To find one that would do;
And after much discussion
On who should bear the ark,
With tolerable agreement
We fixed on Dr. Parke.
Here. then. we thought it settled,
But were amazed TO find
Our fattering invitation
Respectfully declined.
We turned to DR.. Hopkins
To help us in the lurch.
Who strangely thought the college
Had claims above our church
Next we dispatched committees
BY tw0s and threes, to urge
The labors for Sabbath
OF the Rev. Shallow Splnrge
He came-a marked sensation.
So wonderful his style.
Foil owed the ere aking Of his boots
As he passed up the aisle.
His tones were so affecting,
His gestures so divine.
A lady tainted in the h,mn
Before the second line;
And on that day he gave us,
In accents clear and loud,
The greatest prayer ever addressed
To an enlig gttened crowd.
He preached double sermon.
And gave us angels food,
On such lovely topic
THE joys Of s"li,ude;"
All full of sweet descriptions
OF flowers and pearly streams.
Of warbling birds and moonlit groves,
And golden sunset beams.
Of faith and true repentance,
lie nothing haa to say:
He rounded all the corners.
And smoothcd the rugged way;
Managed with great adrotness
To entertain and please.
And leave the sinners conscience
Completely at its ease.
Six hundred is the salary
We gave in former days
We Thought it very liberal.
And found it hard to raise;
But when we took the paper.
We had no need to urge.
To raise cool two thousand
For the Rev. Shallow Splurge.
In vain were all the Efforts
We had no chance at all
We found ten city churches
Had given him call:
And he. in praycrful waiting,
Was keeping all in tow.
But where they paid the highes',
1t was whispered he would 20.
And now, good Christian brothers,
We ask your earnest prayers.
That God would send Shepherd
To guide our church affairs.
With this clear understanding
4 man. to meet our views,
Must preach to please the sinners,
And fill the vacant pews.
The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1860-02-10

allow CAN YOr SPARE THE IME?"-For
ladies living in the country. here is timely
word, by Harriet Martineau :-"'How can
YOU spare the time" Well. what is it p
peol l. must have bodily exercise, in town or
country, or they cannot live in health, if they
can live at all. Why should country folks
have nothing better than the constitutional
walk which is the duty of townsfolk ? Some
times there is not half an hours occupation
in the field or garden during the day, and
then is the occasion for an extended ramble
over the hills. On other days, two. three,
four hours slip away, and the morning is
gone; and why not? The things done are
useful the exercise is healthful and pxhiler-
iag-in every way as good as walk for
h.alth's sake; and there is the rest Of the
day for hooks. pen and needle. The fact is,
the outdoor amusements leave abundance OF
time and ever renewed energy for the life Of
the books, the per, and domestic and social
offices of duty and love. Let those ladies'
whose lot it is to live in the country live
there. A town life in the country is perhaps
the lowest of all. 1t is having eyes which
see not, ears which hear not, and minds which
10 nOt uuUeISlanp.
@ 4 Frenchman. it is said, after having
all day long sauatered through his beloved
Paris. seeirg its manv sights and "habitua-
ting" his usual and favorte resorts, in the
evening relic. ed himself of hat and boots.
enca>ed his body in dressing gown and his
feet in paato!iss, and seating himself happi-
ly in his apartment, soliloquized as follows:
Europe is beyond doubt. the only civilized
continent in the world. France is certainly
the most enlightened country in Europe.
Paris is We know the head and heart OF
France. The quartier Of Paris that I inhab-
il is admitted to be the most elegant and
perfect portion of the CITY. The hotel of
which l occupy part is the finest in this
quarter. My own suit Of rooms is the lar
sest and best furnished of the whole MOTEL.
At this time and at all others. am the first
and leading person in my apartments. By
necessary consequence, stand at the head
of the world. am the Ego, With no COM
peiitive .Alter.'
The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1860-02-10
MILLER Il TRULL,

IRA l.. McCIIARY,
''-.r !" all Kind. DRY GOODS. BOOTS 1 SHOES
. 'iroceries Paints Ols &C. &C. 10
feacs'm Corner. Vermont
The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1860-02-10

Geo. {. Il Geo. w. CAHOON,
"IIURNEYS & COCESELLORS AT LAW
AND SOLICITORS IN CHANCERY,
~'tA AND FIRE INSURANCE AGENTS. LYNDON, Vt.
ne: will attend Courts in Caledonia, Orleans
-;-4 L,sex Counties.