Daily Nashville patriot. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1860-1862, 1860-12-18

through one OF the IeftiIe Nali'gS AyiH5 "
tween the AIlegbanies aud the Rocky Noun
tains. an itinerant vendor Of harmless
compound of train oil, spirits of turPentine
and the essence Of lavender, mounted goods
box on the public square one fine day, and
spreading out before him an open valise
stuff d with small bottles done up in fancy
paper, and calling crowd around him, be-
gan to SELL at quarter of a dollar bottle,
that miraculous representative of King-Cure-
All. known to the pharmacepia OF the AmeTl
can ouackas ~Swindle & Humbug's Celebrat-
cd Scandinavia Icelaudic Oil, warranted TO et-
f-ct an instantaneous cure of ali known and
unknown diseases of animals aud things
from the severest case Of Asiatie cholera OF
pulmonary consumption. To the Iiind-stag-
gers in a saperaunulted stage-hOrse. II Was
county c0ur, day, the crowd was larg'. the
vendor of this truly wonderful oil was in hne
voice and spirits. and tie d-luded quarters
poured ia upon him like spring irsshet.
He said great many funny things, aston
ishing
The gaping rustics ranged around,
With words Of learned length and laundering sound,
That one sn n head could carry al he knew"
"PeIIer-citiz rs" said be, Il don't look
much Ike rich man, but I'M making more
money than fifteen tweniieths OF yoH pat TO-
ye,ber: / have already made so much by tie
sale of NY wonderful and miraculous oil shat
I've been compelled TO employ several men
at five dollars day each TO help me spend
it. Twas raised to this Business. and under
stand it as well, if possible. as do the Ten
Commandments. and I'll bet any man in thi~
crowd Ten dollars that can cell more Of this
benign aud merciful oil in ten minutes than
he can 10 ffteen"-
"Pun up right there-I'n take that bet"
said voice in the crowd
The sole proprietor of that voice was
BLYxNKs. What he was doing there in that
town. how lung be had been there. and when
he intended to leave, is no business OF ours
1t is enough to know that be Was there, and
considered that tn dollars as good as his
own. He made his way through the assem-
bled yeomaury and mounted the box by the
side of the man of merciful oil, who looked as
if he didn't exactly Ike the turn things had
taken: but The crowd laughed, as crowds al
WAYS will under such circumstances, and he
lacked the courage to back out. The ''pre-
hminaries' were soon arranged. it being
agre, d that the proprietor of the oil should
exhaust his ten minutes and then let BLYNNK5
follow, ''in his own way, without the slight
est interruption from the former.
BLYNNKs descended from the bcx, and the
Ii
loose, and let it wag as never tongue wagged
before. He kept everybody in the best sort
of humor, and at the expiration of his ten
minutes had sold six bottles OF his incompar
able oil, and considered the bet won.
BLYNNKs mounted the bOx-his first appear
ance upon any stage as a retail dealer in
patent medieines-and amid the applause OF
the by-standers proceeded to business with
out smile-as sol, muly, in fact. as if he
had come TO preach the funeral OF his grand
mother.
sIn che language of the Hon. JOIN Bill
zo.u said he, 'iellow-citzers of the United
State of Tennessee L have preparation
here which, unlike peoples and mandragora
and the drowsy syTups OF the world, would
have medicined even The Tascally OrHELLo to
the sweet sleep he knew yesterday. 1t is
warranted by d no less responsible individu-
nj than the Influential and highly rvspecta-
lie gentleman whom have the honor tenn
uorariIv to succeed in this very lucrative
business. TO cure every disease that flesh is
heir 10, from the most persistent and impld-
cable meteorolog Cal corn to the seSerest
type of hopeless idiocy and wooden leg.
know it will accomplish every thing, Tor I've
tried it myself. About ten years since a
friend of mine died down here on the Ten
pes<ee river, aud they buried him N the
swamp. Some six months agoI learned that
some Irishmvn at work on the railroad mad
dug up his 'Iast resting place and found him
completely petridrd-ia fact, fellow-ciiizens.
turned to stone through and through. In resur-
fecting my late lameuted friend, an awkward
NiIesian s.ruck him On the loot aud broke 1t
off al the ankle. Ga being appri<ed of these
facts by telegraph, L put bottle of this on
nipotent oil in my pocket In case OF acct
dents. and started immediately for tie shores
of the Tennessee, intending 10 bring my pet
riaed friend 10 Nashville, keep the broken
foot Tor a milestone. aud present hs rest OF
him to the Historical Society Preached the
melancholy spot. There lay my friend
In all the imnobilily Of q marble stature
thrown from It's pedestal. b, ut over hin 20
,bed a Quiet tear to his memory, when the
bottle If this aIl-cOnquering oil fell hom my
pocket, struck upon his cold aud pllsele-s
breast. aud was shiyered TO alouIr. Oh!
what a fail was ia re, my counITymeh!
No sooner did The oil begin 10 SIOUX ia than
ny friend began to shlyer convulsiVely. the
color came back to hs remains. and In hall
an hour he WINS up aud about, in the enjoy.
ment of robust health. and had lost vaiu-
able milestone and the Historical Society u
very desirable contribution. Aud now. gen.
tlemen, want to sell you some of that same
oil-here il is-a limited supply on hand,
and the demand constantly increasing. 1 am
the duly accredited agent OF the American
Benevolent Association for the AmeIioration
of the Condition of Suffering Humanity, aud
am instructed to sell you this OIL at the
unprecedentsdly low prise Of i've cents per
bottle, three bottles for ten cents, or twenty
nFs cents per dozen"-