Cincinnati daily press. [volume] (Cincinnati [Ohio]) 1860-1862, 1860-10-26
APT AlliterRtiOn's Artful Aid-RemarlSabIe
Verbal Iunenuffy

verbal Ingenuity.
The New York Saturday Press gives this
extraordinary specimen of ALTERATION in
regard to chess-player, whom it styles Ar
tesianus
Ardent, aspiring, ambassador-attackine
Artesianus, alive and active, accomplishes
achievements apparently above actuality.
All America, alternately astonshed and
alarmed, admires and applauds an ability
actually Alexandrian. Albion acknowi-
edges attainments as abundant, and acquire
ments as affiuent as ancient Alfred's. Arid
Africa, auroral Asia, and antipodal Aus
tralia, aghast at an aspect assuredly allan
team, alike agree, and award an audible ap-
probation. As an Atlas among anglomani-
acs, Arteslanus arouses agitation, and as
sumes an attitude almost appalling. and
again, as an amateur and athlete at an antioue
amusement Artesisnus always arrests atten-
ton and awakes alarm. As an acquaintance
attable and atfectionate, as an author agreea-
bic and amusing, as an annalist accurate and
authentic, as an annOtator ANALYTICAL and
acute, as anniversary audacious and aggres-
slye, as an ally advantageous and acceptable.
Artesianus attracts admiration, and adorus
an age admittedly Augustan-an adept at all
arts, an adroit advocate, an approved arguer.
an sstute adrnonisher, antiquity's annals
alone afford an available analogy.
Adam ate apples; Artesianus appreciates
ale. Abraham adored at affairs; Artesianus
affects Anglican affinities. Achilles aban-
doned associates and allies; Artesianus alien
ates acquaintances and adherents. Ajax as
tonished ArgiVes; Artesianus astounds AL |
Ieghanians. ArtaxerXes assassinated; Arte- |
sianus affrights. Aristides avoided ambi- |
ton; Artesianus mathematics aggrandize- |
ment. Alexander assailed Asiatics Artesi- |
anus attacks Americans. Apollo appears
afr oil .f,r -.
Augustus authoritative, Antony accom-
plished, Attila austere, and Arthur armipo-
tent Artesianus alone appropriately assumes
all analogous attributes. Albeit at an adoles-
cent age, Artesianus abhors alike adulation
and adornment. Although, alas, abiect as
persers adduee abusive allegations, and ar
rant assurance alleges ambiguous accusations
against Artesianus all absurd and annoying
attacks are actively ayerted. Although
atrocious anti-Artesians are agog, all ardT-
ously attempted aggressions, all absolutely
abortive and aberrant abettors are abashed.
Annihilation attends adventurous an
tagonists and an awful avengement awaits
any adversative advance Avaunt. angry
and anonymous abusers Away, abominabie
and acrimonious accusers Allure am
bushes and ambuscades Abandon arraipn-
ments alike awkward and asinine Accent
an advisable armistice, and adopt amicable
arrangements Armed against all adyen-
titious assaults, as assiduous as an ant, as
alert as an adder, as agile as an ape, as af-
frighttul as an alligator, as ascetic as an al
chymist, and as august as an autocrat, |
Artesianus acceleratively advances along an
astral arena amid adulatory applause,
amasses afiuence, and aims at augmenting
accomplishments already ample. And at ar
appropriate age, Artesianus abdicates ali
avocations, adjusts all accounts, and awaits |
an apotheosis. Angels and archangels ar
range an aureate abode, and amid anthems |
and antiphonal attunings, Artesianus angel
ically attireds ascend. An after-world ac-
quiesces and approves.