The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1860-12-06
WHAT NOT

1
as always to stand at such an awful distance
from it. i- Hp. aia
You want nothing, do you ?" said Pat. BE
dad an if its nothing you want, you'll find it il
the Jug where the whiskey was" ~.
All men look to happiness in the future Tt
every eye heaven and earth seem to embrace
in the distance. a Hsza
If It's important for you to know whether
man will cheat you if he can, sound him as tc
his Willingness to help you cheat somebody else
Time never passes so slowly and tediously
as to the idle and listless. The best cure fol
dullness is to keep busy. 'laiiEa5 iD a..
tbs not the multitude of appIauses, but the
good sense of the app!auders, which gives val
ue to reputation. -..s.r.-
An old gentleman recently sent us can OF
preserves and solemn letter of adnlonition -
We like his can better than his cant.
Pretty nearly all men are benevolent when
1t don't cost them much. Tom never sees poor
John suffer, but he thinks Sam ought to help
hin.
lowe my highest convictions of truth to its
abiest opponents; for never feel my grasp of
/ 10 50 irih as after knowing the strength Of all
that can be objected to it, Charming.
A lady, in reply to some guests who praised
the mutton on her table, said :-"Oh yes, my
husband always buys the best; he is great
cpicac "
There is a good deal in the Arabs prayer =
"Oh God be kind to the wicked; to the good
thou hast already been sufficiently kind, in ma.
king them good" aos
CAUSE AND EFFECT.-Why Hans. Won have
the most feminine cast of countenance 1 hay
ever seem" ''Oh yah" replied Hans, 81 know
the reason for dat-mine moder vas a VOC man.
facetious boy asked one Of his phymates
how hardware dealer differed from a boot ma.
kef! The latter, somewhat puzzled, gave il
up "Why, said the other, because the one
sofa the nails, and the other nailed the soles. y
"lll teach you to play pitch and toss. III
hog you for an hour, will.n ''Father," said
the lncorrigibe. instantly, as he balanced a pen
ny On his thumb and finger, I'll toss you tc
make it two hours or nothing" a.s
generous mind identifies itself with all
around it; selfish one identifies all things with
itself The generous man seeks happiness in
promoting that of others; the selfish man re-
duces all things to his own interest
There was an alteration in a drug store, be
tween a very bald man and the clerk II ask
ed him" said the bald man in explanation, sfol
hair brush; he said he had none, but gave
me flesh brush, and said if it was for myself
he thought that would do y
The following is verbatim copy of drug
glst bill, sent to party who had not paid the
same Mrs. NJ, Please Say to the Lai
dy that her child that L gave medicine for (the
amount is 80 cents) is on Book standing ant
Propose continually to yourself new objects
1t is only by enriching your mind that you car
prevent its growing poor, Sloth henumbs aht
enervates it; regular work excites and strength
ems it-and work is always in our power. 81
FROM VANITY FAIR,-Joke by Hon. Johl
B. Cough, land just his style! Dc. What wer'
the 'slings of outrageous fortune" mentions
in Hamlet?
A Gin sings, of course.
i The most fascinating women are those tina
can most enrich the every day moments of ex
lstence. In a particular and attaching sense
they are all those that can partake our pleasures
and our pains in the liveliest and most devo
tedmanner. Beauty is little without this. Wit
1t, she is indeed triumphant
As three or four members of the old voluntee
ire department were talking, the other day, c
the strength and skill of Capt., ofNo. :
and explaining to listener how steadily h
used to hold the pipe, and put the stream o
the right spot ''Ah," said the listener, 81 see
an ex-Spurt" rae
Old Wewitzer was joking and laughing at r.
hearsal, instead of minding the business of tt
> scene Raymond who was then stage-manage
took him to task for this, and said, "Come M
Wewitzer, wish you would pay a little after
+ ton" "Well, sir" replied the droll fellow
and so l am. l pay as little attention as pc
sibly can"
The three great creature comforts of the, CT
l. nese.-A Chinese proverb says that-"to
. happy on earth one must be born in Soocho
: live in Canton and die in Lianchan: for in t
1t first are the handsomest people, in the seco
y the richest luxuries, and in the third the bt
d coffins.''
ut A SLIGHT MIsTAKE.-A Frenchman, havi
% violent pain in his stomach, applied to pf
lis stefan (who was an Englishman)for relief,
de doctor enquiring where his trouble lay, t
or Frenchlnan, in dolorous accents, laying his ha
n on his breast, said, ''Vy, sare, / have ver'l
ain in mine portmant eau"