Smyrna times., 1860-12-06
The CateChism.
Question lst. What is your name!
Answer. Sot.

Answer. Sot.
Cues 2nd. Who gave you that name!
Ans. AS drink is my God, and Landlords
and Landladles are my Godtathers and Godmo-
theirs they gave me that name in my drunken
sprees, wherein | was made a member of
Strife, child Of War, and an inheriIant Of
bundle of Rags.
Ques. Sd. What did your Godfathers and
Godmolhers then do for you!
Ans. They did promise and vow three
things in my name: First, that should re-
nouhce the comforts of my own freside Sc.
cond, sIarve my wife aud hunger my children.
Third, walk in tatters and rags, with my shoe
soles and the crown of my hat going tlip-hap
ell the days ofmy life.
Rehearse the Articles of your belief.
| believe in the existence of Mr.. Alcohol
the great head and chief of all manner of Vice,
the source Of nIne-tenths of all diseases.
! believe in the existence of a set of manu-
tacturers and venders Of the liquid fire and
lastly, not only believe. but am sure, that
when my money is all spent, the Landlord Will
stop the tap.
Ques. 18th. How many Commandments
have you sots to keep!
Aus. Ten.
Ques 5lh. What are they
Ans. The same which the Landlords and
Landladles spake from behind the Bar, saying
We are thy Masters and thy Mlsiresses, who
brought thee from the path of Virtue, placed
thee IN the way of Vice, aud set thy feet In the
road that leads to destruction.
/ Ques. Gth. What are the Comma ndments!
Ans. 1T Thou shalt not nal Ike unto thee
any substitute for Intoxicating drinks, such as
Cold Water, Tea, Coffee, Lemonade, or Gin
ger Pop; for | jealous man, wearing the
coat that should be ON thy back, eating thy
chtljrcn's bread and pocketIng the money that
should make the wife of thy bosom hf ppy.
Sd. Thou shalt not use our house IN vain.
Thou shalt not enter unless you spend your
money we shall not thank you for using our
house IN vain.
4th. Remember thou eatest but one meal
on the Sabbath day. Six days shalt thou drink
and spend all thy gain; but as for the seventh
1t is the Sabbath, wherein | am forced to shu
up for two hours, to wash my floor, replenlsl
with sawdust my spit boxes, and make ready
for the worship of Bacchus during the remain
der of the day.
9th. Honor thy Landlord and thy Landlody
with thy presence, that thy days may be few
aud miserable In the land where thou hVest.
9th. Thou shalt commit murder, by hang
ing, starving, and beating thy wife and chil
dren.
9TH. Thou shalt commit suicide by poison
ing rhyseli with Alcohol.
Sth. Thou shalt steal thy wife and chi
dren's bread, and rob thyself Of the comforts
life.
9th. Thou shalt bear false witness whe
> thou speakest of the horrors, and say that tho
art in good health when thon art laboring vi
> der the barrel fever.
u 10Th. Thou shalt covet oil that thy neigI
u Dor is possessed of. Thou shalt covet h
J house, his land, his OK, his purse, his healtl
{ his wealth, his clothes, that thou mayest il
B. dulge in all the luxures, and to help thee
20 buy the brewers coat, his dray horses, his fir
buildings, and thus enable him to live in idl
ness aud also enuble the landlord to buy
G. beautiful sign to place over his door wi
/, "Licensed to Retail Fcrmeuted and Spiritno
u Liquor" written thereon!