Spirit of the age. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1849-1865, 1860-08-08
Are Ladies Naturally Polite?

Mrs. German, in her department of the
Spirit of the Age, copies an article from Tie
Southern Watehmaa, on the question above,
in which she rather comedies with the writer,
we think, in making out a negative answer.
The writer recounts two incidents to prove
that ladies, in large assemblies or railroad
coaches, will receive acts of courtesy from
gentlemen without any acknowledgment
whatever, and hence concludes they are not
naturally polite. He had surrendered his
seat to a lady on the train, and she occupied
it without even thanking him. At anoth-
er station a female got on board, and the ladies
already on board, occupying single seats,
failed to make room for her.
We will admit that the man of the Watch
man did witness these incidents and he
may add a dozen more to them, and, in face
of them all, we will take the opposite ground,
believing as we do, that his conclusion does
injustice to the sex.-We don't know in what
spirit the writer may have made the enormous
sacrifice of offering his seat to the lady it
might have been done in q very ungracious
manner, after suffering her to stand until she
was too confused to attend to the little anne
mites demanded by the occasion. There is a
a great deal dependent on the manner of do
ing these things. One man will do them as
fit were a real pleasure; another, as if he
would like to pitch the intruder out at the
window.-Some will show by their very
looks and manner that they expect to be
thanked and praised and almost kissed, for
the tremendous favor they have shown, and
thus create disgust in the mind Of the lady.
Diffidence and modesty may, on the other
hand, sometimes prevent a young lady from
speaking the thanks she feels on such oeca-
sions.
We might place our own experience as a
set-off to that of the Watchmdn man; for we
can truly say that in our travels, land few of
our age have travelled more,) we have never
rendered a courtesy to a lady that was not
properly received and acknowledged when
circumstances permitted, and we have never
addressed one for information that we have
not received a civil and truthful answer in
return.
There are, doubtless, ill-bred women, but
we believe the number is small compared to
the number of Inbred men and if individ'
ual examples are to serve as a criterion for
Judging the sexes on the question in hand,
| the men will come out second best every
: time. If, as some writer has stated, 'truc
r politcncss springs from a good heart-from
. a desire to please and a wish to avoid giving
: pain, We should feel no hesitancy in answer
ing the question at the head of this article in
i the affirmative. Indeed, we cannot under
stand how an observant, reflective mind could
have raised the question at all, nor how Mrs
{ G., who always thinks SO correctly on sub
jects relating to the sex, could entertain tn
+ charge which the question suggests, for
moment.
She must feel intuitively, that the infer
> ence to be drawn from the article in tn
Watchman, is a Islander upon her sisters.
e We will never believe that ladies are nc
naturally polite, until we have seen NOR
than one or two exhibitions like those allud
Il ed to by the Watchman, and then, we mus
be convinced beyond q peradyenture, tha
It they are really gentleas9 who offer the coul
tesy, and really ladies who fail to ackpow
> edge it in a becoming manner,
! Thanks to Cavalier Moore, Of the Hig
l. Point Reporter, for his gallant defence of Il
Ladies, in the above article. But l think,
his anxiety to show himself theis champion
e. he has not been particular enough to state N
u position. By a strange process of reasopir
of he attempts to make it appear, that hay
iii asserted that the ladies "are not natural
polite'-when the gist of my article wa
Y; that they are naturally polite-and that The
be dispensed this natural politeness and cou