Muscatine weekly journal. [volume] (Muscatine, Iowa) 185?-1890, 1860-06-22
Taklnt the ;
,csus-A uouss IN rHs COUNTRY.

~ inc Qe8O OI CQo AoAAy ~ AA~.O
Mrs.Touchwood:- Yss, mir Pm 81
hnS,,., ..-ssss- Sstss-si.- t's ~ - ~ 's~s "@
Inq. Haven't you husband Z
Mrs. T.: Yes, sir, but he amt the
head Of the family, I'D have you to
know.
Inq. How many persons have you
in your family
Mrs. T.: Why, bless me, sir, but
what's that to you? You're mighty in
quisitive, I think, ~ vs.,
1nq. ;: Pm the man that takes the
census. ..r.-s-. N a Eooss..,,r7 q
Mrs. r.: If you was . man in your
senses, you wouldn't Ak such imperti-
nent questions. r77 wfD WA g
Inq.: Don't be affronted, old lady,
but answer my questions as I ask them.
Mrs. T.: Answer fool according
tc his folly you know what the Scrip
tares say. Old lady, indeed! @
Inq.: Ibeg your pardon, madam ;
but l don't care about hearing Scrip
ture just at this moment. Pm bound
to 20 according to law, and not accord
ing to Gospel. $50. .... ..s
Mrs. r.: I should thinkyou went
neither according to law nor Gospel.
What business is it to you to inquire
into folks's affairs, Mr.. Thingabob I?
mo-: The law makes it my bust
ness, good woman, and if you don't
want to expose yourself to its penalties,
you must answer my question.
Mrs. T.: Oh, it's the law, is it
That alters the case. But should like
to know what business the law has witt
peoples household matters
IDq.: Why, Congress made the law
and if it doesn't please you, you must
talk to them.
Mro. T.: Talk to . fddlestick
Why, Congress is . fool and you're
another.
Inq. Now, good lady, you're
fine looking woman if you'll only Civ
me few civil answers, I'll thank you
What wish to know first is, how man!
there are in your family! =
Mrs. T.: Let me see counting he
fngers-there's I and my husband i
one
Inq. Two, you mean.
Mrs. T.: Don't put me out now
Mr.. Thingummy. There's l and m.
husband is one
Inq. Are you always one?
Mrs. T.: What's that to you,
should like to know? But I tell you, !
you don't leave off interrupting me
won't say another word.
Inq. Well, take your own way, an
be hanged to you. (Again countinI
her fngers) There's l and my husban
is one there's John, he's two Pete
is three Sue and Mo1l is four, an
Thomas is five. And then there's MI
Jenkins and his wife and the two chill
dren is six +; and there's Jowier, ne
seven
Inq.: Jowler who's he?
Mrs. T. Who's FOWLER! Why, VIII
sho'd he be but the old house dog?
Inq.: It's the number Of persons
want to know. a-
Mrs. T.. Very we'll, Mr.. Flippergin
amt Jowler q person? Come here
Jowler, and speak for yourself, II
sure he's as personable q dog as there
in the whole State.
Inq.: He's very clever dog, n
douot. But it's the number Of huma
beings wait to know.
Mrs. t.: Human! There amt
more human dog that ever breathed.
Inq.: Well, but mean the two
legged kind of beings.
Mrs T.: 9, the two-legged, is it
Well, then, there's the old rooster he
seven, the fighting cock is eight, an
the bantum is nine
Inq.: Stop, stop, good woman,
beg Of you. Idon't want to know tn
Lumber of your fowls.
Mrs. T.: Pm very sorry, indeed,
can't please you, such sweet gentle
man as you are. But didn't you tie
me twas the two-legged beings?
Ing. True, but | didn't mean th
hens.
Mrs. r.: 0, now understand you
The gobbler is seven, the hen turkey
eight, and If you'll wait week there
be parcel Of young ones, for the Of
hen turkey is setting on q whole snal
of eggs
Inq,: D-n your turkies
mrs. T.: O, don't, now, good MI
IIippersticher - | pray you don't
THEY'RE as honest turkies as any in tn
country. :,
Inq.,: Don't vex me any more, II
getting to be angry.
Mrs. T.: Ha, ha, ha f.7-T
Inq.: lStriding about the room j
rage ] Have care, Madam, or
shall fly out Of my skin.
Mrs. T.: If you do, l don't kno'
who will fly in. A-
Inq. You do all you can to ange
me. It's two-legged creatures who talk
have referred TO.
Mrs. r.: 0, now I understand you
Well, then, our poll parrot makes sew
en-. and the black girl eight.
Inq. l see you will have your owl
Mrs. T.: You hare just found
out, have you? You are smart littl
man?
Inq.: Have you mentioned tn
whole of your family? = !,
Mrs. r.: Yes. sir F; that's the who'll
except the wooden-headed man in tn
other room. ~
Jnr Wooden.headed