davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Lexington advertiser., 1860-03-30

rThe New Orleans True Delta's
travelling correspondent heard. as he
tells. young gentleman from Arkan-
sas, who was riding with him in car.
relate the following auecdote of an Ar
kansas wedding: t.
A neighbor of the young gentleman,
living in Arkansas, was about to give
away his daughter in marriage, and hav-
ing a deep rooted dislike to the clerical
profession, and being determined, as he
said, TO have no internal parson in his
hon Y, ie SEA-. Tor his friend, tie Judge,
to perform the ceremony. The Judge
came, and the candidates for the con-
nubial yoke, taking their places before
him, he thus addressed the bride 'You
swear you will have this man . Yes,
sir was the reply. And you Ito the
bridegroom swear you will marry
this woman?' Well, I do that said
the groom. Then, says the Judge. I
swear you're marriedF
Lexington advertiser., 1860-03-30

A QUIET PARLoR INMATE.-Miss Full
ler, in late letter from Europe, men
tions having become acquainted with
DR.. SoUthwood Smith, the well-known
phisnthropist. 'On visiting him, says
the lady, we saw an object which | had
often heard celebrated, and had thought
would be revolving, but found, on the
contrary, an agreeable sight this is the
skeleton of Jeremy Bentham. 1t was at
Renthams request that the skeleton,
dressed ia the same dress that lie habit
ually wore, stuffed out to an exact re-
semblance Of life, and with a portrait
mask in wax, sits there as assistant to
Dr.. Smith, in the entertainment Of his
guests and as the companion Of his
studies. The figure leans a little for
ward resting the hand on a stout stick
which Bentham always carried, and had
named Dapple. The attitude is quite
easy; the expression Of the whole mild,
winning, yet highly individual. |! is
well known that Bentham, in order to
oppose in the most convincing manner,
the prejudices against dissection Of the
human subject, willed his body to the
surgeons, and in a codicil, subsequently
written, made final beqpest Of bis skel.
eton to hio friend, Dr.. Smith.
Lexington advertiser., 1860-03-30

ON NBEAUTY IN LEGs-Old Lady Ches-
terfeld thus gives woman's view OF
this matter, in talking to her niece:
AS a rule, good men have good legs.
Crooked leg, crooked mind that is one
of my notices. and one which have
very seldom found to be in fault. Your
dear papa had prejudice against tail
ors. | am more tolerant; and yet cant
help thinking that they get morally
warped from twisting their legs beneath
them, as they are in the habit of doing,
What fresdfel l0aS aqme If !opr- mos.
atrocious criminals have had. The in
famous Burke, my dear, who pitch
pIaslered people to death before you
were born, and sold their bodies to the
surgeons, lad the very worst pair OF
bow legs that ever was seen. Look
what spelling their legs By sitting tailor
fashion has brought the Turks TO. In
my young days, tight leg was pretty
accurate sign of a gentleman; in your
young days, the loose, or peg top leg is
fashionable. People who wear tight
trowsers nova days are either dancing
masters, walters, actors, or sporting
characters and prize fighters, orIlers
and omnibus conductors. But, all me!
what exquisitely turned legs and feet I
have seen in the days when the aristoc-
racy wore white kerseymere smals, silk
stockings and pumps. 4 Il Il do
not object TO your studying the extrem.
tiles of the opposite sex with sufficient
assiduity for next to a mans heart and
morals, you should institute a a rigid
inquiry into the condition Of lis legs. A
man may gain great victories. or suffer
shameful defeat, through his legs, New
er mind the ridiculous American purists
who are too modest to call spade a
spade, and leg a leg, and nicknamiog
them supporters go straightway to
devise the absurd and immodest Bloom ,
er costume, giving rise, as | does, to
ribald comments from men on a part Of
lady's dress with which they have no
business, and aught to know nothing
about. But you are brave English
! girl and az YOU see hundreds Of men 3
legs every day, you have right &c S;';' 81; ) :
to observe, and to form your opinions
on them. ...
Lexington advertiser., 1860-03-30
Fall and Winter Stock,


this day in receipt of a portion Of their
e Fall and Winter Stock, o.
which will be unusually large, and by far the
finest ever brought to this market
Among the goods received may be found a
. good assortment of Cashmere Coats, Pants and
Vests; Extra Silk and Plush Vests; large as
!. sortnent Of Linen and Linan Bosom Shirts
Draws of all descriptions and qualities; suspen-
her,, Brown and Bleached English halt Hose;
Cravats Neck Ties, Gloves, &c.
I ALSO--Silk, Cashmere and Felt Hats; French
GfIats-a genuine article.
LIKEWlSE-A superior lot OF Poots and
Shoes q all styles and qua ties, Congress Gal,
lers, Congress Racers, Oxford Ties, Glove Kid
Ties, &C., &c. For their f
Manufacturing Department
Which is under the supervision Of Monsieur LIE
Ioy,ilats Of New Orleansl they have received
an elegant stock Of CLOTHS, cAssIMERES
.svEsTlNGS, &c. Y ..a ..a
nz-Those OF our friends wishing garments
made to order can rely upon having the same
got up in the Latest Partisan Style
st r1-Ths fit of all garments guaranteed
vicksburg Miss, Aug. 26th, 1859.
Lexington advertiser., 1860-03-30

THE QUALITIES WHICH COMMAND Sue.
cGss.--Oue of the great aids or hindrau.
ceS to success IN anything lies in the
temperament of man. The best tenn.
perAment is combination of the sppre-
hensiye and the resolute. Such is the
temperament Of great commanders. Sc
cretIy they rely upon nothing and up
on nobody. There is such powerful
element Of failure 10 all human affairs,
that a shrewd man is always saying TO
himself, What shall do if that which
| count upon does not come out as I
expect" This foresight dwarfs and
crushes all but men Of great resolution,
Lexington advertiser., 1860-03-30

S. ]. looks fateeged & as tho he had lost
all of his parents The pirut is clost on
to him and be is about givin in, when a
fine looking feAer in russit butes and a
bunialer overcoat rushes forrerd and sez
to the capting, sez he:
odd man, go down stares. Retire to
the starboard bulkhed. lie take charge
of this bote.
'Owdashus cusso said the capting,
away with thee or l shall do mur-rer
der-r.r!' ......
'Scacely, ses the feller, and be drew
a diamond .hilted sword and edt tha-ce..7'
tings mead of.
% that | shood liv to becum a ded
boddy!' sed the capting as be fell to the
deck. lie expired shortly afterwards,
being fatally killed.
People sed the noble feller, I'm the
Juke de Moses
odd hoss, methinks thow art BLOWN!
sed youth Of 40 summers, and the
Juke cut off his he'd likewise. Don't
print any versus on my deth in the
Doosepapers,' screamed the unfortunit
young man as be fell dead on the deck,
fur eff III do | haunt YER
People, continnered the Juke, I
alone can save you from yon buddy an
unprincipled piruts. What yoe there?
A peck OF oatsr The oats was immeju-
etly brot. The Juke took them and
bravely mountin the jibpoop he threw
them into the towpaLh. In mint the
leading boss hicht to The pirut bote cum
along, stopt, and commenced fer to de.
YOUR the oats. The driver swore and
hollered at him terrible but be would Mt
bulge inch. Meanwhile the Sary
Jane, her hosses on the clean jump, was
fast leaving the pirut ship.
'Onct agin do | escape deth!' sed
the Juke between his clencht teeth, still
on thu jibpoop. o.
Lexington advertiser., 1860-03-30
RyA Yankee from Maine, not accus-

EyA Yankee from Maine, not accus-
toned to praying, being at Buena Visit"
the night before the battle, and some
what doubtful Of the result went cut Of
bearing, as he supposed, and made the
following prayer.
o Lord, here we are, about four thou
sand Of US, and twentyfour thousand
Mexcans - enough to swallow US with
out greasing. Now, if you can help us
do it--if YOU can't, for heaYen's sake
don't help the Mexicans and just hold
on until tomorrow. and you'll see the
gaul darndest fight you ever saw in
your life. Yours, respectfully, amen"
Lexington advertiser., 1860-03-30
Kind Hearts.

Let but the heart be beautiful,
And care ret inr the face
heed not that the form may want
Pride, dignity or grace. ..
Let the mind be filed with glowing thoughts
And the soul with sympathy,
And care not 1.-THE cheek be pale,
Or the eye lack brllliancy.
What though the cheek be beautiful
1t soon must lose its bloom;
The eyes bright lustre soon will fade
In the dark and silent tomb
But the glory the mind will live
Though the JOYOUS life depart,
And the magic charm can never die
.iF OF [ tTae Gnu noble heart.
The lips that utter gentle words
Have beauty all their own,
And more prize kindly voice
Than mlsic sweetest tone;
And though its sounds ale harsh and shrill,
If the heart within beats free,
And echoes back each glad Impulse,
'Tis all the world to me.
Lexington advertiser., 1860-03-30

mona! i.pttsfy tickets, and telling her all
things we're ready, she took his arm
and walked ashore. They were rapidly
driven to the residence of an orthodox
clergyman up town, who in few min
utes performed for them what is gene
rally ter,aed kindly office, but for do
ing whicN we dare say, he will never
be forg Fn by the parties themselves.
When / returned to the boat both
were as t.aned the same state-room, the
uDfortu e man who bad been so sud-
denly y t,hed into matrimony having
-icla}- | .tdsee=CAg5apAsg ~ isria: to
her home, where a portion of the hon.
eymoon will be passed.-Cincinnsti En-
qulger.
Lexington advertiser., 1860-03-30

CuoosNa HUSBANDS. When girl
marries, why do people talk of her
choice In ninety-nine cases out of an
hundred, has she any choice Does
not the man, probably the last she
would have chosen, select her? A lady
writer says:
i have been married many years; the
match was considered very good one.
suitable in every respect--age, position
aod fortune. Every one said | had made
a good choice. loved my husband
when | married him, because he had, by
unwearied assjduity. succeeded in gain.
ing my affections but, had choice been
my privilege, certainly should not have
chosen him. AS | look at him in his ca
sy chair, sleeping before the fire, huge
dog at his feet, pipe peeping cut of
the many pockets Of his shooting coat.
! cannot but think how different he is
from what would have chosen. My
first Penchant was for n fashionable cler'
gymap- he was a Aatterer, and cared but
liuIe for me though have not yet for
gotten the pang Of his deserton. My
aext was barrister--a young man Of
immense taisnt, smooth, insinuating
manners; but he, too. after walking,
talking, dancing, and flirting. left me.
Either of these would have been my
choice, had SO chosen but my prts-
ent husband chose me. and therefore
married him and this, cannot help
thinking, must be the way with half the
married folks of my aCquaintance.'
Lexington advertiser., 1860-03-30

RECEIPTs FOR LEMON PIES. One
lemon, four eggs, one and half coffee
cups Of sugar, two-thirds do of water );
two table spoonsful Of -four; take the
whites Of two Of the eggs you use for
them, and after the pies are baked, make
frosting, put it on them, and place the
pies in the oven again for very few
moments, only long enough to brown
them slightly. OF course there is no
upper crus: to these piss,
Lexington advertiser., 1860-03-30

"MARRYNG IN HAsTE'-A VoTARY
Of TERp1scHoRE WINS HUSBAND IN AN
HoUR.-A singular freak of Eros oc-
CURED on board the steamer Telegraph
yesterday morning. The Maysville
packet Boston, which landed at ouI
wharf shortly after reakfast, brought
down, among other passengers dash
ing young widow, of fine personal ap'
pearance. who lives at Madison, Indiana,
we believe, but who had been spending
few weeks at May ysviIle, where she had
been instructing class Of girls in thf
Terpischorean art, Of which she ia ar
accomplished professor. On her arriva
at this city, she had her baggage trans
ferred to the Louisville mail boat, With
er she went herself to await the depar
ture of the steamer which was to con
way her TO her home. asa. -a
Shortly after she had taken passage
she met fine looking man in the cabin
to whom she was introduced by mu
tual friend. The twain seemed to b.
quite well pleased with each other. HI
was manly, intelligent, and engaging ii
manners; she vivacious, witty, and pos
sessed of more than ordinary attract
iveness. After enjoying each others so
ciety for nearly an hour, be arose, ane
remarked in tone Of voice sufficient
loud for those in the immediate vicinity
to hear Is 10 .na..u.. ... ...,..,
If you really mean what you say,
will order carriage at once .'| i
4 assure you I am in earnest sh'
replied. .u ~. ..... .
Enough said the stranger, and call
ing cab disappeared up Broadway. Il
half an hour he returned, holding in hi
hand a large buff envelop, very mucl
like those in which the Clerk Of tn
Probate invariably conceals his matri
Lexington advertiser., 1860-03-30

The SPEAKER AND HIS PAGE.-The
New York Express says that at present
the main stay OF Speaker Pennington is
the page who stands upon the right Of
the chair, 2 youth Of fine appearance,
and, like the young man bred oarpen-
ter, Dnlya,Aineteen wears old" This
page was, frst appointed to Office by
Speaker Boyd, and has ever since con
tinued TO discharge the duties Of page
to the Speaker among which are now
reckoned The duties of prompting the
Speaker In discharging bis business. He
stands near the Speaker, and directs him
in an undertono how to put every mo.
ton and how to decide points of order
as they arise 'Tbaddeus' is known to
all the politicians of the country as the
most remarkable parlamentarian Of his
age living. With the construction Of
the rules of order lie is perfectly Iamil'
lar, and every precedent he has at his
fingers ends.
Lexington advertiser., 1860-03-30
% NEW HACK LINE
To Pickins' Station !

T HAVE just commenced running a
L Tri.Weekly Hack-Line from Lexng-
ton to Piokins' Station, connecting with
ahe Accommodation Train.
leaving Lexington for Pickins' Station
every Monday. Wednesday and Friday at
10 o'clock in the morning.
Leaving pickins' Station for Lexington.
every Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday at
! o'clock IN the morning.
L. j. FONVILLE.
hoxingtop. Jan. 9, lSso-ts.
Lexington advertiser., 1860-03-30

INFLAMED EYEs.--A strong decoction
Of good green tea, sweetened with loaf
sugar. and made smooth with thick.
sweet cream, is often and eifectual rene.
dy for common inflammation Of the eyes.
In severe cases bind the tea leaves on
for poultice; it is soothing, cooling
and at least harmless. l have seen a vi
olent attack cured in forty-eight hours
by this treatment. .'..
Lexington advertiser., 1860-03-30
CHAPTER III-rHE pIRuT ForLEp.

Sixteen long and weary years have
elapsed since the first seems narrowated
in the larst chapter took place, A no.
Bic ship, the Sary Jane is sailin from
France to Ameriky threw the Wabash
Csnawl. A piruI ship is in hot pursuit
OF the Sary Jane. The capting Of the
Lexington advertiser., 1860-03-30

RTWhat fine head YOUR boy has said
an admiring friend, Yes, said the father,
he's a chip of the old block amt you SON
ny? | guess 50. daddy, cause teacher
said yesterday l was young blockhead.
Lexington advertiser., 1860-03-30

tr'Twelve hundred pounds for mare!
cant be- quoth Bagstock, oh, that's
says Cyfax, Richard offered
his kingdom for horse, and no takers
Lexington advertiser., 1860-03-30

0ErAh Irishnan once observed that
mile stones were Kind enough to answer
your questions without giving you the
trouble to ask them.
Lexington advertiser., 1860-03-30

CHAPTER lV-TuE wANDERER's RETURN
The Juke was Moses the Sassy. Ho
had bin in France about l6 years and
now he was home agin in Bosting. He
had some trubble in gettin hisself ac,
knowledged as Duke in France, as the
Orleans Denesty and Borebones were
fernenst him. but he finally conquered
and now he had crossed the deep blue
c to Git his own Elizy. She knew him
to onct, as one OF his ears and portion
Of his nose had been chawed off i'll his
fights with opposition hremen durin
boyhood's sunny hours. They were
married and went to France, to reside in
their ducal Pallis, which was gut up re-
gardiss Of expense. They had several
children and lived to green old age,
beluved by all both CRATE and small,
as the Poick sez. .....
The Pirut Captin was captured, tride
convicted and sentenced TO read all the
letters that Messrs. GiddiDgs and Wise
shall write for the ensooin 4 years. His
friends are endesvorn to git his SEN
tuncs commuted to Imprisonment for
life, l hour in each day to be devoted
to readin the Canada papers. He sez
this sentunce is worser nor tother one
was. Still he don't care much as long
as he gifts his meals regular.
This is my lst attempt at wriin a
Tail & it is far from bein perfck but Il
| hev indoosed folks to see that in 9
cases out of 10 they can either make Life
as barren as the Dessert Of Sarah or as
joyous as flower garding, my objeck
will have been ACCOMPLISHED. Adoo.
Lexington advertiser., 1860-03-30

ora man who had been married
twice to ladies both named Catherine,
advised his friends against taking dupli'
ENtes.
Lexington advertiser., 1860-03-30

EyS So long as men are imprudent in
their diet and their business. doctors
and lawyers will ride in carriages. =.
Lexington advertiser., 1860-03-30

0tTWby is an Englishman ike nine,
teen shillngs !? Because he is under a
sovereign.
Lexington advertiser., 1860-03-30
Prize Romance.
sEKEwERED BY ELEVEN KoPY RIGHTS.
Moses the Sassy or the Disguised Duke.
A TALE OF BLOOD AND THINGS.
BY ARTEMUS WARD.
Prize Romance.
A TALE OF BLOOD AND THINGS.
BY ARTEMUS WARD.
CHAPTER MOSES.


My story opens in the classic free
stinks Of Bunting. In the parlor of an
aristocratic manshun on Bacon street
sits a lovely young lady whose hair is
covered ore with the frosts Of II sum-
mers. She had just sot down ct the pi.
any q is singing the poplar peace called
Smells by the Notion, in which she tells
how with PenSiv Thawt she wondered
by G beet shore. The Son is sictin in
its horizon and its gorgus lite pores in
golden meller Auid through the win
ders and makes the bootiful young lady
twict as bootitul as she was be4 which
is onnessary. She is magnifshuotIy
dressed up in Berage basque with pop,
lin trimmins, More Antique edges and 3
ply carpeting, Her dress contains l2
founders, brilliantly ornamented with
horn buttons, and her shoes are red mo-
rocker with gold spangles on to them,
Presently che presses her hand TO her
bosom and starts up in excited man
ner, 'Methnks, she whispers in cla-
rion tones, I see voice?' A noble
youth, Of 27 summers, scraps the mud
from his boots in the hall and enters.
He is attired in red shirt and black
trowsers which last air turned up ovur
his butes, and his hat is bewitchingly
cockt on one side of his classical he'd.
In soolh he was a noble child. Grease
in its baTmiest days near produced a
more galanter herow than Moses. The
young lady gazes upon him for a few
periods, clasps her hands together,
strikes a position, and rolin her Is
wildly like expirin infantile COW, cries:
'Ha do my eyes deceive my earsight?
That frame! them store clothes! those
voice! it is--it is me own, me only Mo-
ses!' and he folded her to his hart. Me.
thinks | shall swoon,' she said, and
pretty soon she swondid.
Lexington advertiser., 1860-03-30

erWhen your hair gets into disorder.
what heather deity should it name p
Comps. rIHHt'
Lexington advertiser., 1860-03-30

Why is a steamboat monarch Be-
cause not made to 60 whether she qoooa or
no | .'A".a '' ...
Lexington advertiser., 1860-03-30

rz~Do all the good you can in the
world, and make as little noise about it
as possible. ------- ---
Lexington advertiser., 1860-03-30

CHAPTER lL-wAs MOSES OF NOBLE BIRTH
Moses was foreman of Ingine Kumpa-
ny 40. The 4O's had jest been havin a
pleasant 6te with the sos on the day l
introduce Moses 10 my readers. He had
his arms full Of trolfees, 20 wit: 4 seal ps
5 Is, 3 fingers, 7 ears, which he had
chawed off, etc, etc. When Eizy (for
that was the young lady's name rekiv-
cred from her swoon she asked :
'Hcw hast the battle gone? Tell me?'
'Elizy,' said'the brave young man,
hisself up to his full hite, we chawed
'em up and Smashed their old mersheen
all ter pieces'
4 thank the gods. she cride, thou
did full well. and hence4th | ware thee
ir my hart of harts! And Moses she
continued, layin her he'd confidently agin
his waskit, 'dost thow know | sumtimes
think that tbow wastest Of noble birth?
MOI sez he, wildly ketching hold Of
hisselt, you don't say so?' +.
Indeed do L. she sed Your ded
grsnd.father's sperit camest to ME the
other mite and sez he, Moses is a dis
guised Juke!' - y------..
You mean Duke, sed Moses.
'Dost not the actors call it Juke?' she
sed sternly.
That settled the matter.
4 hav thought Of this thing afore,
sed Moses, abstractedly. If it is 80
then thus it must be! 2 B or not to B
that airs the question: But no more
Of this now. Dry up. Oh life-life.
you're too msany for meH He tore out
some of his pretty yeller hair, stamped
on the floor wildly, and was gone.
Lexington advertiser., 1860-03-30

EE" Don't you mean to marry, my
dear sir?' No, my dear widow, I'd
rather lose all the ribs I've got than take
anOlher.'
Lexington advertiser., 1860-03-30
YICKSBURG CLOTHING EMPORIUM!
a. NEW GOODS
s AND NONE BUT
NEW GOODS!
AsKEW G. BROTHER

yITOULO respectfully inform their friends
w and thu public generally, that they are
this hau Ia receint Of norton Of their
Lexington advertiser., 1860-03-30
LEXINGTON ADVERTISER
yPublished every Friday. .RT
TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION j..
Rates of Advertising /:

Uy NO paDeT ulscUElIHued until al aFreara-
gSs al. paid, unless at the option Of the Propri-
Lexington advertiser., 1860-03-30

ON BEAUTY IN LEGs-Old Lady Ches-
terfeld thus gives woman's view Of
this matter, in talking to her niece:
Lexington advertiser., 1860-03-30

Rates of Advertising
" Tor each. square, of ten lines, One dollar
for the first insertion, and Fifty cents for each
ecntinuanoe.-a~
WA liberal discount made to those adver-
tising by the year or half year
A eItisements from distance must be ac
eompanied by the cash o. a satisfactory refer
eEce. ...... ...
Advertisements, when the number Of lnser-
tons is not specified. will be continued till ior-
bid, ti) and charged accordingly.
The advertising ola house or firm strictly
United to their own immediate business
Personal communications charged double the
regular rates.
ANNOUNCING CANDIDATES For Beat Offices,
, SO; for County Offices, S.; District Offices, $40
Ito be paid strictly in advance
Special notices, before marriages and deaths,
charged at the rates Of Ten Cents line each
insertion.
W-Marriage notices and obituaries not ex-
ceeding ten lines published as news, If overten
, 10 be charged as advertisements
Editorial advertisements charged double the
regular rates
Having made some addition to our mcteria
for Job W2il;, we are prepared 70 execute
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1860-04-28

Dpx'r Know ConN-Somc twenty five
or thirty years ago an 1rishman, left Ire
land to find home in America Having
friends in the region of Fair Haven. Ohio.
He made his way thither. Taking dinner
one day at the house OF DR. ?. he was
treated to the American dish, wholly new
to him, of green corn in the ear cnwiic
ling, however. to be thought gree" himself
or being anxious to display unusual sasac-
ity, after having eagerly devoured the
savory corn, his appetite still unappeas-ed'
he passed up the despoiled cob with the
very natural request; "plase put some
more pase on my stick
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1860-04-28

SCAvDNLo-s- Worm; cc. M n
Irritation with the man in tn" moon tho
other evening. right III sight O. some
hundreds ofour citizens who w.r. suddenly
taken with lofty aspirations. We fancy she
got the mitten or else boxed the old fell
lows cars and LIFT i. disgust for the,o
seems 70 BE- Il growing distance between
them ever since. and the lady hrs appa-
rrnt!y gone otf 10 display her charms in
other rlrcl,S while old ''yr,sn rirsse ispre.
tending ne don't care a liz abort il. ~ al
.cctinG TO shine around more than before.