Civilian & telegraph., 1860-05-10
aDit auA a5nmpr.

DIDN'T THINK OF THAT.-Dr. Johnson
made large hole and small one in the
door of his room for his two cats.
'What have you two holes for?' asked a
friend
why the large one is for the large cat,
and the small one is for the small cat
why, would it? how is the big cat to get
through the little hole?' asked the astute Doc
tor. s.r
'Shc can't But the little cat can go,
through the large hole
Egadl never thought Of that
| The above is more foolish than the, anec-.
dote to Thomas Jefferson. who employed a,
carpenter to build him windmill on the
summit of a high peak for saving logs, CIV
| ing rs reason that the wind would always
blo,c up there, and the mill would never be,
idle The carpenter hesitated and appeared
embarrassed notwithstanding the great states
man had given him diagram of the whole
affair. Mr.. Jefferson insisted upon knowing
the why and wherefore of his hesitancy, when
tie buller said How are you to get the logs
up this steep hill?' Egadl never thought of
that, said Jefferson. tr
The Lowell, tMass.l Crbinet, says:-When,
Gen. Layfayette was in this country, two
Young men were introduced to him. He said
to one
| Are you married !?
Yes SIR was the reply.
Happy man. quoth the general. lie then.
put the same question to other who replied.
| Il am bachelor
Lucky dog said the general
This is the best say on matrimony extant.
English Traveler-"Hi say, sir, ham on
the right road to 'Artford?" ~
| Gg\vaI1 Iva "
Tra,cler-"0w far shall ! ave TO go be-
| fore ! get thcre?"
,Jonathan-"Well, fycou turn reound and
60 tother way, maybe yeou have to travel
about ten miles. But il ycou keep on the
way ycou are going yeou'n have to 60 about
eight thousand, ! reckon"
A STUNNER-" short, ladies and gen.
tfcmcn' said an over-powcred orator, II can
only say-bcg leave to add desire to as
sure YOU that wish | had window IN my
bosom, that you might see the emotions Of
my heart" Vulgar boy from the gallery
t"Wont n yaRcin your stomach do this tine?"
A man asked another: (which Is tile
heaviest, quart of gin or quart Of water?
"Gin, most assuredly, for saw rsan who
weighs two hundred pounds staggering I'm
der quart Of gin, when he would have car
ricd gallon Of water with case"
ConnubiM Husband, don't know
where that boy got his bad temper; am sure
find that you have lost any"
"Mr. Smith. the hogs are getting into your
corn field" "Nevcr mind Billy, I'm sleepy.
Corn won't hurt en-"
A man who lad been married twice to la
dies both named Catharine advised his friends
against taking duplicates.
1t matters very little how ugly a woman
may be, she never sees pretty one except
in the lookng-glass.
An old sailor, at theatre, said that he
supposed dancing girls wore their dresses at
hall-mast as mark Of respect to departed
modesty.
A girl sitting in fellows Zap with her
arms around his neck, and looking at the
fireworks, on the evening of the fourth of Ju-
| ly, asked him if she was not heavy. He re-
piled: MY yoke is easy my burden is light"
A few years ago, the ladies wore kind
of hood called "kiss- you-dare." The
present style of bonnet might be called
with cqua! propricty, "kiss-me-if-yon-
| want-to."
"Dawkter." said an exquisite, the other
day, II want yol to tell me what l can put
into my head to make it right 1T waits
nothing but brains said the physician.
Curiosties-a key that has been extensive
| lv employed in unlocking mysteries; one of
the old shoes worn by the doorkeepcr Of the
Temple of Fame.
ado you see anything ridiculous in this
| wig?' said a brother judge, to Cuiran. No
thing but the head, he replied.
-"You are always pawning." said a
woman to her husband. My dcr Wife"
| replied lie, "the husband and wife are one
and wien | am alone, grow weary.
"A Frenchman, intending to compli-
ment young lady by calling her gentle
| lamb said "Shc is no mutton as is SMALL