Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1860-07-19

people, ram jam full. All the choir was
there and the forrin muscicianers besides.
Wall, about quarter after ten, in come
the minister, and plaguay genteel, stiff
sort of a looking chap he was tew. He
walked up the broad aisle and into the
pulpit, as though he owned the meetin'
house and everybody in it. Soon as he got
there he hemmed and hawed little, blow
ed his nose great deal, took up the hymn
book, and said
The choir will sing, if they please, the
two hundred and thirty third hymn, short,
particular metre; hymn two hundred and
thirty three
Then he read the hymn in sort of silk
and worsted kind of voice, as soft as soaked
saw dust. Whilst be was doing this, |
picked out the tunes, and it took two of
them to sing that hymn with, now tell you
l picked out long metre tune for the sing
ers. Then we all stood up to sing, in
struments in front. Just afore we begun,
I whispered to Sal and Zeke Jones, and
says l.
Put in all you know and you'd better
believe they did it. Well, I led off the
singin' double quick time, so that we got
through the first stanza afore the musician
ers had played half their tune out. How
somever, they kept on playing, while we
stopped to breathe, and then the congrega-
ton began to smoker, and the minister's
face looked like a mammoth specimen Of
blood beet cut in halves. I waited patient
ly for the music to stop, and arter while
it did. Then we was just a goin' to sing
again, when the Italian chap, the big fd-
dler, you know, walks up to me, shakes his
bow in my face, and says
you much diabols, you-vat you call
spile de mewsicke. 'Spose you do it
again 'ver much I spile do your head
sYou will, hey?' says I. Then guess
I'll spile yorn in advance
Then I up fist without any more adew,
and planted it under Mr.. Vinegar's left ear.
Very directly, of coarse, he fell, and our
Sal being in the way, like tarnal fool, he
struck smack agin her, and she fell too.
Then Mr.. Sledgehammer, the German man,
hit me from behind an awful louder on the
back of the head. Zeke Jones hit him at
the same time and place, the rest of the
male singers rushing forward for to put in
for a share, tumbling over us as we all laid
PROSTATE on the floor, and of course there
was very beautiful and general muss all
around the choir
Then some of the gals sung out murder
some of 'em fire. and some on 'em 'halle-
lujah ! Some of the congregation too sung
out 'call the constable "a sailor chap in
the gallery sung out 'call the watch !'-one
of the deacons ran up into the pulpit, and
the minister thinkin' he was comm to kill
him, SHE'D the big Bible at the deacon's
head, and then jumped out of the pulpit
window
In the meantime Sal pulled all the 'stash-
ers' off the Italians face, and takin' me
for the German violinist, slapped my chops
most tremendously.
Then both of the musicianers got up,
and Zeke Jones and I kicked 'em out of
the meetin' house, and the congregation
kicked US out arter 'em. Sal got her bran
new ka1liker delane fore oil Tn smash
The sexton shot up the meetin' house,
and there amt been DO preachin' nor es-
pecially singin' of any consequence there
since; and that amt all, I don't think that
there ever will be. The muss in our choir
was the only great event talked on for a
long time in them parts, tell ye.