The Iowa transcript. (Toledo, Tama County, Iowa) 1858-1866, 1860-03-08

And she felt SO much delighted
That she almost had forgotten
All her trials, all her troubles.
Then c. Rhodes, the Grammar critic,
Saw her through the open window,
Saw her limping, saw her hobbling,
Ran out to her and did ask her,
"Whats the matter, Mother English,
Why this limping, why this hobbling,
Why these gashes and these bruises?
Who has done this, who has done this?
Tell me quickly, Mother English
In these words she told her story,
Told her sad and mournful story,
How she got her wounds and bruises,
Told it in voice 50 sorrowful,
That G. Rhodes, the Grammar critic,
Felt his heart t-biecd boil within him.
81 was standing in the corner,
In the pleasant, cheerful parlor
On cold and dreary evening;
All was tranquil, all was peaceful,
None was there to mar the quiet,
Dut '. NC, the pOuagnSuer,
Who was sitting in the arm chair,
And was leaning backward, musing.
On sudden, sprang he forward
As if new idea had struck him;
Then he straightway got his dagger,
Pitched right at me, and did kick me.
Knocked me this way, and the other,
Pierced me badly with his dagger,
Here, and there, and thus he pierced me,
Struck me hard across the head-skull
Till he set my brain to rceling,
And the blood fowco out so freely,
And got SO faint and weary,
That sank down in my CORY,
And was left to die in sorrow.
"Shame upon him, shame upon him"
Cried G. Rhodes, the Grammar critic,
In tone Of Indignation,
Il will 60 right up and fog him,
l will teach him better manners,
And will show the worthy people
How I'm trained and skilled in battle
So he made himself all ready.
Got his dagger and his biudgeon,
TO the teeth he quickly armed him
Like Rust, the Greeley -Aogger,
Or Brooks, the Southern Bully;
As they do in Washington City.
So he went searching after
Our J. Nc, the pedagoguer;
Found him the street walking,
Cries out to him in this manner,
"What you done to Mother English,
What you been abusing her for;
I've come upt to settle with you,
I've come up to fog You for it."
Then before the pedagoguer
Had a chance word to utter,
Rhodes, the noted Grammar critic,
Pounced upon him like tiger,
In such fierceness, in such fury,
As he would annihilatc him
In the twinkling Of winker.
Then J. Nc, the pedagogucr,
Thought that he would turn upon him,
And would flog him were he able.
Fiercer, ferccr grew tho battle,
Kicking, cutting, and hard striking
With the daggers and the bludgeoDs,
We're the order Of the battle;
And c. Rhodes, the Grammar critic,
Still got madder, madder, madder,
Got so mad he knew not, cared not,
Whom he struck if he struck some one,
So he, in his madness, fury,
Pitched at good old Mother English
Who was looking on tho battle,
Her for whom he'd made the battle,
Who had never yet recovered
From her wounds and her aflictions;
Struck her with his fist and bludgeon,
Pierced her right and left and al ways
With his sharply pointed dagger,
Till he mangled and distorted,
Manggled, wounded and abused her
Worse than Nc, the pedagoguer.
Then J. A. s. the man Of letters,
The faithful SON of Mother English,
Passing by, observed the battle;
Saw G. Rhodes, the Grammar critic,
Badly treating Mother English,
Dearly loved he Mother English,
HasfAn cd nick IA her assistance