The Buchanan County guardian. (Independence, Buchanan County, Iowa) 1858-1864, 1860-04-04
ANOTHER YANKEE TRICK.

1nat crliter loves me l know she
loves me J" said Jonathan Doubkins, as
he sat upon the cornfeld fence, meditat-
ing on the courses of his true love, that
1t was running just as Shakespeare said
II did. rather roughly. " Ii Suke Pea
body has taken shine to that yawky.
long-sneaked. stammerin shy critter Gus
set, just cause he's city feller she AIM
the girl | took her, that's sartain. No,
it's the old folks; darn their ugly pic
lures old Mrs. Peabody alters was a
hlghfalutin' critter. full of big notions /;
and the old mans regular soft head !,
driven about BY his wife, just as our old
one-eyed rooster is drove about BY our
cantankerous ive-toed Dolken hen. But
if don. spile his fun my name ain t
Jonathan. I'm going down to the city
By railroad next week--and when come
back, wake snakes that's all -
The above soliloquy may serve to give
the reader some slight idea of the land
in the pleasant rustic village where the
speaker resides.
Mr. Jonathan Doubkins was a young
farmer we'll TO do in the world, aud look
ing out for wife. and had been paying
his addresses TO Miss Susan Peabody, the
only daughter Of Deacon Elderberry
Peabody, of that ilk. with fair pros
pect OF success, when a city acquaintance
OF the Peabody's, one Mr.. Cornelius Gus
sesl, who kept a retail dry goods shop in
Hanover street. Boston, suddenly made
his appearance in the field, and com
menced the cutting out game. Dazzled
with the prospect "f booonIing gentle
n,an'' wife, and pestered by the impor.
tuni,ies OF her aspiring mamma. the vii.
lase beauty had begun to waver, when
her old lover determined upon last aud
bold stroke TO foil his rival. He went to
the city and returned Of his business
he said nothing, not even to pumping
maiden aunt who kept house for him. He
went not near the Peabodys-but labor.
ed away in his corn field. patiently await.
ing The result OF his Vaccinations.
The next day, Mr.. Gusset was seated
with the old folks and their daughter in
the best room Of the Peabody mansion,
chattering as pleasantly as may be, when
the door opened. and in rushed n very
dirty aud furious Irish woman.
" lsit there yeare, Mr.. Cornelius Gus
set Come out Of that, before | fetch
you. 70 spalpeen !! Is that We promised
me afore the praste. We hathen nager
Running away from me and the children
--forsaken' yer lawful welded wife, and
runnin' after the Yankee gals, ye conf
Woman, there must be some mistake
here, stammered Gusset, taken all aback
by this charge. a
Devil bit OF mistake, We sarpint
Oh wirra ! wirra! was il for the likes Of
ye sacked little Dinnis McCarthy--whoI
loved the ground trod on. and all be
cause ye promised to make lady Of ME
-ye dirty thief of the warruld Viii
ye come along 10 the railroad station,
where | left little Patrick, bekase he was
too sick with the small pox 10 come any
furder. or will ye wait till drag ye :"
" Go--go-along." gasped Gusset.
. Go and III follow you?"
y He thought 1t best 10 temporize.
4" 1 give you ten minutes said the
virago. "lf We amt there. its me cou.
SIN. Mr.. Thabby Mulgrnddery, will be
afther We. ye thief" ~ ii .s
And away went the unbdden guest.
DIR. 6usset was then engaged in STAN.
mering out denial Of all knowledge OF
the virago when the parlor door again
opened, little black-eyed hatchet- faced
woman. in flsshy silk gown and cap
with many ribbons perched on the top of
her head. invaded the sanctty OF the
parlor.
Is he here ?" she cried. in a decided
French accent. Then She added with a
scream, Ah, mon dieu le viola ! Zare