Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1860-01-06


thus:
"Ev'ry man fur hisself, and God for all.
Help yerself, stranger; you look like you mout
be man what can weed yer own row, clean at
that. L dunno whar yer live, but down here
In these piny woods uvry man wits on hisself"
Nothing more was said till the edge of our
appettes was blunted; but Ham all the time
kept casting his inquisitive, restless eyes upon
me, trying to read me like book At last he
grew little more polite, and handed me a
plate of fried yam potatoes.
Take some 'taters, stranger: mighty plenty
downshere in these sand-hills. The O'ny ad-
Jections Ham Rachel has to EN-, they make him
little too cholicified; but little number six,
will bring the wind from you with a dreadful
| racket. My old 'Omun alters uses verbs, but
verbs amt strong enough for Ham Rachel"
On we went with our heavy assaults upon
the table, demolishing whole dishes, ''smitn'
them with the aige of the soord," as Ham e1-
| pressed it.
| stranger" said Ham, take some butter
that's half ur living in this cattle country. 1t
would be mighty tight times with us here eff it
warn't fur milk and butter, cow-peas. and yam
taters We'd look like the peaked eend NV
nothin' though the murrin's been mighty bad
among cattle lately; but Ham Rachel has great
| reasons to be thankful, fur he hain't lost
more'n twenty-five ur thirty head, big and
| little
| We ''swept the platter and supper ended
went to my room, determined to maintain my
| dignity and secrecy, hard as Ham was trying
| to read me. Ham followed, determined to
take me prisoner, read my history, and get my
whereabouts, latitude and longitude We sat
| down; purposely looked mum and dignifed
| Hams curiosity was aroused; he could bear it
| no longer
stranger" said he, s'you're too burned
stiff and pertclar Ham Rachel loves fur
man to be plain as an old shoe, and as thick as
| cowpeas in their hull I've got to know suthin
| about yer. When Ham Rachel Il wish you
knowed him) begins thing, he carries it thro
ur breaks the swingle-tree'
This was PREDATORY; here comes the main at
| tack:
Ham.-Ef mout be so bold, whar do you
live, stranger?
| Stranger ''mout' live in New York, New
Orleans. Mobile, or Montgomery or anywhere
else. Ihat's my busineSs
| Handy gOlly, that's burned smart But
| stranger. that answer don't confederate TO yer
| looks. That amt you. Ham Rachel won't
answer stranger that away But I'll try
| yer agln scence yer so ding snappish on that
| pint Eff | mout be so bold, what sort O. biz
ness do yer foller, stranger!
Stranger.-That's too bold; but since you
must know, it is my "biz ness to follow my
| nose-a pretty long enc at that you see
Ham.-Wusser and wusser. Durn it, I'll
| drap you. You're as snappish as a pair O.
| sheep shears.
Ham left, and went to the camp of the wa
| goners, who all the time had kept up every va
| riety of noise, laughter, and vulgar witticisms
| He had gone but a few moments when sole
] John became very sick, and commenced throw
ing up his ''rOt-gutwhiskey. The tbroes were
terribly painful; human Vesuvius was in
| dreadful volcanic action. At every throe the
lava would fall upon the floor like a dashng
cataract, accompanied with deep-toned groans.
AS tho action in the crater went on in rapid
i .I = n
| streams OF lava became more overwhelming
and noisy. The bed creaked loudly, and every
| eruption looked rs if it would throw him head
foremost out of his resting place.
Ham heard the noise of the volcano, and
| thought he would now lead the stranger out in
| conversation. He came running into my room
| with gestures the most wild and frantic, and
| burst forth:
Stranger. stranger, do yer hear that ole
devil pukin' out his innards2 wouldn't keer
Il dried-apple durn eff he would puke hisself in
side Outurds. He never will listen ter Ham
Rachel, which nuver was cotch in sich a fix.
| Ham drinks his dram and pays his bob in all
Ticker crowds but he alters travels and keeps
what he 'posits in his innards. He loves lieker
too well to be throwin' it away like old John;
besides, he's too savin' a man ter be wastin' his
| vittuls in that away. Poor Miss MD.
She d no biz mess a-marryin'-a 'omun Nv her
| age-msrryin' sch Il dried up old crac ="
|
and went to the noisy wagoners, who kept up
their Internal din. The rest of the company
| four-whO came home with ''old john and
Ham, had lain down on pallets, and were run
ming against each other in the snoring line as
if some great prize were staked. No renowned
artist, graphic pen, nor gifted music composer,
can describes the struggles and contests of these
four rival snorers; of course, shall not at
tempt it.
Before Ham left he gave them blast, thus
What the devil are you arter here a-saw-
in gourds, grindin' coffee, film saws, boatn
tin pans, BLOWN horns, beatin' drums, BLOWN
hfes, shootin' pistols and so forth and so forth,
breakin' the stranger Ov his rest? I'd have a
little breedin'."
L lay down about midnight, exposed to the
crOss-fre of three discordant batteries-the
snorers. the wagoners, and the groanings of
''Oe John''-my nerves being none the better
for the contguity. / dOzed a little, but was
soon reused BY a new sound. It was at the
| wagoners' camp 1t was the voice, tones and
| intOnations of Hard shell Baptist preacher
The old heavenly tone" rang loudly lin the
still night" 1t had the suckin and the blow
out of the breath, the uh' and the ah,
| What. thought I, has some Greatheart of n
| preacher found those scapegraces and COM
menced laundering sermon upon them ,
'Give it to them thick and heavy said 1 to
myself.
| L was not long in suspense, for here came
| Ham. running into the room "a dim light was
burning,) putting and blowing, with eyes and
hands upturned toward heaven with holy hor
Tor and indignation.
| Stranger, stranger o stranger" he shout
ed, do you hear that, That's no preacher,
stranger; they're Ony a-mockin' preachin'
| They're mockin old Eldridge, who used ter
hold forth in these deadnins, but run away
and went to Texas Afore he run away he
! baptized these very rascalS who is a-mockin'
! him. Ham Rachel seen it with these peppers
o his, and what he sees he sees. I've hearn
'um shout, sing hymns and sperritual songs
with old Eldridge. Durn ole Eldridge. Lord
forgive Ham, he's no better nur them, but
that's no reason fur them 10 mako fun o. re-
| ligion. Ham Rachel (poor devilD is no better
nur he ought to be; but, thanks ter Jubiter, he
nuver made fun o religion. Lord massy on
us, stranger, do you hear 'um at it yet? I'm
sfeerd the yeth will open her bowiHs and
swsller 'em up, like it done korum, Datum.
and By hum. in the wilderness. Ham Rachers
not a-gwine a-near 'um agin this night. Ham
don't intend to be revolved in thar drefful
catistrough; he II fly up to roost right here