Weekly Trinity journal., 1860-01-28
NUMBER ..
Artcmus Ward and the Z" EpPisoLcs."


Plaimdealer of the launching of twin heirs at the
house of Ward, at which he grows powerful hap
py. Read it, by all means
II returned from the Summer Campane with
my unparaleld show OF wnX-works aud livln Wild
Beests of Pray, in the erly part of this month
The peple OF Baldwnsville met me corduliy and
immeiitly commenst restin miself with my FAR
merly. The other mite while was down to the
tavern tostn my shins agn the bar-rumc lire ~
amuZn the krowd with sum of my adventurs,
who should cum barc-heded terrible excited
hut Bill Stokes, who seZ. sez he,-' Old Ward,
thar's CRATE doins mp to yur house
Seq |, William, how so y
Sez he, Bust my gz2urd, but its CRATE dolns,'
and then he larfnd as if he'd XII hisself
Sez |, risin and putin on Il austeer look, vii.
liam, woodnt be II fool if had common cents
But he KEEP ON larnn till he was black in the
face, when he fell over onto the bunk whar the
hostler sleeps and then in still small voice, sed
Twinsn
| ashure WI, gents that the gras didn't grow
under my feet on my wa home, " was tollered
by an enthoosiastic hrong of my ieller-siterZuns,
who hurrard for Old Ward at the top of thard
voices | found the house chuck full of people.
There was Mis- Square Baxter and her grown
up darters, lawyer Perkinses wife, Taberthy Rip
ley, yung Eben Parsuus, Deacon Simmuhs lolkS'
the Skoomastcr, Docter Jordin, etsettery, ctSett'
cry. Mrs Ward was in the west rune, that lines
the kitchen. Mis- Square Baxter was mXin sun,
thin in dippcr before the kitchen lire, y small
army of female wmin were rushn wildly round
the house with hotcls of camiire, peaces OF Han
nil, &c. / never seed SIGH hubbub III my nat
erol born dase. | could stay in the west room
ONLY II minnt, so strung up was my ieelns, 50 l
rushed out and ceased my bubble barrd gun.
.Wot upon girh ulcs the man 2 seq Iaberthy
Ripley 'Sakps alive, what air y1 dnin ~ she
prabad me by the coat tales. 'Wot's the matter
with yu Z? she contlnnerd.
Twins, marm, sen |, twins"
Il know it, sez shc covcrin her fase with her
'Opurn
WALL said |, that's wot's the matter with
mel
WALL, put doun that air gun, you pesky old
fool, sed She.
No, marm,' sez l. this is a nashunal day
The glory of this here day issent confined to Bal
dinsvile, by durnd site On yonder woodshcd,
sed drawin mself up to mi full hite and speak
in in show actin voisc, 'will fire Nashunal
saloot sayin which tared mself from her grip,
aud rushed to the top Of the shed WHARF blaZ
ed ava until Square BaXtcr's bird man and mi
sun Artemus Juueyer cum and took me doun by
name fOrse
On returning to the kitchen found quite lot
of pepe secled bc4 fire, a-talkn the event over.
They made room for me and sot doun.
Quite a episode scd Docter Jordin, litn his
pipe with red hot cole
Yes, sed !, - cppisodes, wayng about Stcen
pounds jinty
A perfect coop de tat scd the skoolmaster.
IL plunbus urn, in proprietor persO0y, scd
l. thinkin lde let him know understood furrin
langwedgcs as well as he did, if l wasn't II skule-
master.
1T is a momentous event, sod yung Ebo Par
suns who has been quarters to the Academy.
never heerd twins cnlld by that name atore
scd /. bat | spose its all rite
q. hall huV l. oI n pli
tur of the Baldwiusville Bugle of Liberty, who
was lookin over a bundle Of exchange papers in
the corner to apply to the legislator for City
Charterv
Good for yu old man - sed I, 'giv that air
a couspickius place in the next Bugle.'
How rcdcklus = scd purity Susan Fletcher,
GOVERN her face with her knitten work Il a-lallia
like all posscst
wall, for my part sed Jane Maria Peas!ey,
who is The crosscst ole made in the world, / jest
think you act Ike pack of fools
Sen !, Mis- Pcaslcy, air yu parent"
Scz she, No aint.'
Scz |, Miss Peasley, yu never will be-
She left. We sot thare talkin IL larlin until
the swlchiu-n nodr of mite, when graveyard5
yawng Il costs troop 4th as old Bill Shakespire
aptce observes in his dramy OF Jon Shcpperd,
esq, when we broke up aud disbursed.
Mother Il children is u doin well and as Res
olushuns is the order Of the day, will feel oblce-
ecd it yule insert the folerin--
nJ- Wharas. Eppisods has happened up to
the undersned house, which is twins and whar-
as like stile, sade Twins bein of the male per-
swaehun X both boys therei B it
Resolved, that them nabors who did the fare
thing by said Eppisodcs, my hartfslt thanks, is
doc. -.
Resolved, that du most hartily thank Enjine
Ko. No. II, who, under the impreshun from the
fuss at my house on that hauapishus mite, that
thare was konhagrashuu goin on, kun galyiant-
y tn the spot, but kindly relrained from squirtin.
Resolved, that from the Bottom of my Sole du
thank the Baldwinsvle brass band fur givn up
the idee Of Sarahnadin me, both on that CRATE
mite and sinse.
Resolved that my thanks is doc several mem
bers Of the Baldwinsvlle meetin house, whu for
three dase hain't kalled me sinful skofler or n-
treeted me TO mend my wicked vase and jiae sei
meetin-house tn onct.
Resolved that my buzzum teams with kind emo
shuns lords the foerin indivdooals to whit,
namelee--Mis Square Baxter, who jenerusy re
ioozed to take a sent fur bOttel of camire
lawyer Perkinses wife who writ sum verses on the
Eppisodes /; the Editur of the Baldwinsville Bu-
gle Of Liberty, who uoby assisted me in wOllup
in my Kangaroo wich sagashus little cuss serius-
ly disturbed the Eppisodes by his outrajus yellinS
and kickins up Mis- Hiram Doolttle, who kindly
furnsht sum kOld vittels at tryin time when it
wasunt konvenent to cook vttels at my house
the Peasleys, Parsunses and Watsunscs for
thare menny AK OF kindness