Cleveland morning leader. [volume] (Cleveland [Ohio]) 1854-1865, 1860-03-10

Goal @a.
LOVE AND LAGER BEER;
or
THE INHUMAN PARIENTS STRATAGEM.

Come all good citorzons and folks Pm going for to tell
Owing to the tremendous rush to see the dis
fearful story which will cause yer buzzomS for to
charge end Of the long pipe which conveys
SWELL It's Of gallant, gay young man, Likewise
Coal Oil from the various refneries in the union
damsol fair who after plightn Of their VOWS, driv
to l42 Superior street, the proprietor is COM
en- to despare. This gay young man, his name vas
PEELED to decline the usual courtesy of half price
Brown the damssPs was TOt Gheit; her father kept
to boys and girls under ten years of age, with
lager beer saloon in CsthAm street. He had double
out distinction Of color or breadth across the
share Of gold, likewise a double chin, but Brown he
shoulders Gentlemen and ladies' free Chil>
travelled on his shape and hadn't any tin. Now Won
dren in arms not admitted. The wear and tear
GhoIt he Jolly and good natur'd as you please,
of shoe leather to and from l42 Superior st.,
and he dearly loved his dOror lager beer and switzer
since the fountain was establised, has increas.
ed immensely, and the shomakers Of Northern
chin of his thust the man thar didn't love the last
Ohio ara about to convene in solemn conclave
should never have the fust This oath it was stun
and pass a unanimous vote of thanks to BARRIE
ner to the poor gal and to Brown for the latter couldn't
for contributing so much to their business
moren get one glass of lager down. and as for eatln
prosperity The flow of oil through the long
swtzer cheese be loOkd on it as psin-no sooner was
pipe is SO rapid that young maelstrOms is
it down than it was on his stommiek r'isin Now
reported at each of the manufactures to which
there another scooter for the old mans dorters
branch pipe extends; yet we are happy to
hand puddin headed German duck, as you shall un-
state that no one has been sucked in. 1t was
derstand; his name was jacob Fritz and without sav
currently reported that BARRIE had leased the
ing Of his cheer, he'd eat ten pound of cheese and
State canals for chutes to convey his oil to this
drink a cask of lager beer. In course the old man
city, but they being wholly inadequate for the
favored Feitz and snubbed the other lad but still he
purpose, to say nothing of the expense of lock-
thOrtt wouldn't do to raise his daughters mad, and
age, necessity, which is the mother of inven-
so he hit upon plan the lovers to ensnare, and put
ton, at once suggested the idea of the long
into practice though it wasn't on the square He told
pipe, and without delay it was put III full OPP
the rivals they must meet and battle for the bride. 1--WE
Grafton. Now, BARRIE's Coal Oil is like the
WILL ses Brown; "T quickly tan the oafer Fits hide
widows we read of-''it fails not" but it
But oh, his jaw fell quickly and his stOmmick it felt
comes! it comes! 1t comes! ! not like the
queer, when the old man named the wsepins-switEer
drizzliDg of an eaye-spout during an April
cheese andager beer. Poor Brown at wunst objected
shower. Niagara affords more appropriate
and the dOter she said NO but old Won Gheit grin
Omparison-sublime, but not fearful. Even
ned savagey and swore it should be SO; te all their
the Maids of the Missed venture up to the foam
prayers and tears he was as deaf any pOet'Te man
ing torrent without danger. Young Rachels
shall have mine gal" he said, "WhOse skin shall hold
come with their piehers. Jacobs come not to
themOstF' 'EnOughF' growled Brown as he looked al
drink. kiss, nor cry, but to bear away to their
hIs rival with seOWl tO get my lovely fair mus
respective neighbOrhOods good report Ofthis
fight battle FOWL But fear not gentle LADY, my lucky
land which flows with Coal Oil and money
star I'll trust; I'll grid my lOns up for the fight sn'
Everything is provided at l42 Superior street
gOit if bustl" The day arrv-twas New Years mOrl
cans that hold quart, good measure; can
the eOmbatauts were thers-yOung Fritz was gay AM
that hold three gallons, good measure, cans
very fat, while Brown grave and spare; his eye
that hold FIVE gallons, good measure; cans tha
had greedy look and sunken was his cheek, he hadn
hold ten gallons, good measure; cans that holt
drank drop nor ate a morsel for a week. At lengt
twenty gallons good measure; and barrels il
all things we're ready for the battle to begnthe minis
any quantity or measure. But the above II
teras there to splice the feer who should wini Brow
only partial reports of what may he had 8
shook little, sighed bit then brushed swsya tea
242 Superior street. If all the Coal Oil in tn
then braced his nerves and firmly said snow fetch alOn
world was IN enc great ocean, and all the wick
yer beer' At it they went with appstites most WOE
in the world were in one wick, and all tn
derfu to see while old Won Ghelt stood looking at h
lamps in the world where in one great lamp
par with ecstaey Cask after cask was emPtied ehee'
it could dot be more advantageOusly used tina
after cheese put down, and still there no sign
can the lamps that are for sale by
"cuvo' in either Fritz or Brown. Wild ragged the hgh
SIS. BARRIE, l42 Superior st.
uat it last Fritz with heavy sigh, took his last BIZ
S. S. BARRIE, I42 Superior st.
drank his last drop and then laid down to die; th'
s. s. BARRIE, l4s SuperiOrt st.
poor Brown gagged turned very pale and didn't feel
, SIS. BARRIE, I42 Superior st.
rest but stl he caught his darling gal and hugged h
3. s. BARRIE, I42 Superior st.
10 hi, breast. aCootF' cried Won Ghsit you've We
SIS. BARRIE, I42 Superior st.
herr" They were married rig t away, and then loo
s. s. BARRIE, I42 Superior ST.