The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1860-10-06


il the dark a. 70 the reason why it should be
obliged to go out Of its old track laid in the
filth and mire OF politics. Bnt this great Union
conservative party is an organization of new
ideas az statesmanlike views and purposes, and
is therefore not presumed to come within the
comprehension of the worn out political hacks
Of Tammany, or the Albany Regency.
Rum and Rhetoric--An Editor Three
sheets An the Wind.
TIE solid men of Boston tell rather good
story at the expense Of gentleman who once
received q nomination TO the highest Office in
the republic. The hero of the legend was
much given to strong rotations, and had bad
habit Of mixing biz liquors quite "permiscnous"
as Nrs. Camp would say. Directly after the
news of his nomination was received at his
favorite hostelrie, the barkeeper thereof, a
philosopher noted for the serenity of his de-
meanor, was observed to be impermeated with
that disease which colored gentleman once
termed "the disgust He declared, most en-
phatically, that the nomination was one not fit
to be made, and that If the nominee should be
elected Il would be disgrace to the country.
When pressed for his reasons the knight Of the
toddy stick proceeded to say that the stand
ard bearer of his party drank, on one occa-
sion, before breakfast, and in the space OF an
hour, FIRST, bottle of Congress water; second.
glass of ale; third, q gin cocktail; fourtA, q
hall bottle Of champagne; Gfth, rum
punch, and sixth, brandy toddy !;
and the conclusion to which the man
Of spirit arrived was that a man who was
so stupid as to mix his liquors in the manner
above described was altogether too great fool
to be President of the United States.
We might 90 little further and say that the
result quite justified the barkeeper's predic-
ton but we are not writing political history.
We have referred to the Boston anecdote as
being germane to a speciality in journalism
which has been introduced by our philosophical
and philanthropic cetemporaries Of the Tribune.
In organizing their establishment upon the
strictest Fourierite principles they made pro-
vision for every department of labor, and, by q
fight Of enterprise far beyond rivalry, they
have introduced new element into the metro
politan press. We refer to the drunken edito-
rial which appears in the Tribune once month,
or thereabouts. The bibulous philosopher who
indites these remarkable illusions is probably
In the gutter three weeks out Of four, and
writes in the intervals of his sprees. His latest
article opens rather obscurely, as If he
was gradually recovering from an extended
drunk. II Is presumed 10 be review of an ar
ticle By half crazy Southern editor, whose
theory is that the safety Of the Union can only
be secured b. the election Of Mr.. Douglas. The
Southern editor Is particularly severe upon Yam
cey, JEFF. Davis, and the other dre-eaters; and the
Tribune man, as nearly as we can ascertain, seems
to have endeavored TO cast ridicule upon his
rural contemporary. The first paragraph Of the
Tribune article gives token Of cold water, lin
gering headache and remorse. After drifting
along in this calm sea for matter of forty lines,
the scribe wakes athirst and imbibes some mild
decoctiou say small or lager bier. The effect
Of this poiation Is not sufficiently inspiriting; so
the writer takes to champagne, which leads TO
brilliant rhetorical burst, wherein we are told
that 1T il most remarkable circumstance that
the great danger of the South Is in its perpetual
propensity to be lulled; we would think
that seventy millions Of sirens were singing in
those ATTITUDES continually and so on. Going
along little further, We find traces Of the enc.
my. Burgundy, or some stronger tipple, peeps
out in this sentence :-"Yancey, the destroyer
Yancey. the disunionist! Yancey lie the muir
derer Of Cock Robin aud the Cstaline Of this
glorious county
These luminous sentences bring paragraph
to an effective close, and our hero again seeks
inspiration from the bottle. This time be pro-
badly patronizes old port, and wakes eloquent
thus:-"Alas, we can only say, catch Ysncey,
corner Yaneey, knock down Yancey, chain
Yancey, gag Yancey, suppress Yancey, impri-
son Yancey, lynch Yancey. Is not this a great
country Are not our stars and stripes resplen-
dent" After this the Tribune philosopher be-
comes hopelessly involved In maze of adjec.
tiyes, adverbs. verbs and substantiyes common
and proper, which are thrown out upon the
world Ike so much worthless rubbish. He has
now taken to brandy, and subsequently EN-.
braces what u called Jersey lightning. lie
falls to babbling in wild way about Yancey.
the Presidential election and "the childish pas.
sions and disreputable animosities Of hand
ful OF Southern madcaps." Occasionally we
get faint glimnering OF the purport Of the
article, but II is 80 terribly mixed up that even
q Philadelphia lawyer would be puzzled to make
out what the author was driving at The idea
seems to be. however. that the treason TO the
Union Is not confined to the republican party,
but i shared BY the Southern ire.eaters, which
Is wonderful discovery, perhaps. 1t seems to
vs. however, a very small allowance Of bread
for such liberal expenditure Of sack. Deci-
dedly the Hon. Massa Greeley has great trea-
sure In his bacchanalian collaborateur although