The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1860-11-29

must be present, and etiquette demanded
that he should bring a lady with him
The committee of arrangements waitet
upon him to inform him of this fact, ant
it may be we'll be believed that the com
munication filled him with vague horror
He begged Of the gentlemen to provide
him partner, if he must have one, stipu
lating only that the lady should not be 6
young lady; and in due time he was in
formed that he was to attend Mrs. Grub
bins the widow of DR.. Timothy Grub
bins, the wealthiest, as we'll as the fat
test and tallest woman in the whole coun-
try.
The eventfll evening arrived. Mr. Sin
gleton took Mrs Grubbins to the hotel in
chaisc. The lady was magnifcently at
tired in a doubleskirted tarleton, with
ribbons, feathers, and fearfully extended
crinoline.
Poor Harry! thought of escorting that
giantess into a room filled with people
made him sweat like one under the infu-
cnce of powerful dose of ipecachuana.
But he was in forit, and must get out the
best way he could. Mrs. Grubbins, proud
and triumphant, preceded him, breaking
the passage, and compelling lesser people
toyicld the ground. Just as she arrived
on the threshold of the banquetting hall,
she dropped her fan; and just at that mo-
ment. the audience pcrcciving Harry in
the back ground, proposed "three-cheers
for Hon Mr.. Singleton!''
Harry stopped to reclaim the fan, and
when the enthusiastic multitude looked
for their champion he was nowhere visible.
Cries ran rouud the room loud and vehe-
ment:
Mr.. Singleton! where is Mr. Single
ton 2" and directly Mr.. Singleton looking
very hot and very much confused, appear
ed from under the upper skirt of Mrs.
Grubbins' dress-that lady having com
pletcly submerged the honorable gentle
man in the folds of her drapery Gentle
men smiled in their sleeves, and ladies
giggled behind their handl1crchiels Mrs
Grubbins looked more regal than ever,
and Mr.. Singleton leaned against q pillar
for support.
The announcement of dinner was a
great relief Judge Flanders presided
Mrs. Grubbins occupied the seat at Sin
gleton's right; Mrs. Flambeaux satat his
left, and Lucy Deane, the village belle,
was his ris-a-ris.
Hal1y's position was exceedingly en-
barrassing to one of his peculiar temper
ament. He dared not refuse anything
that was offered him, lest some one should
look at him, and the consequence was,
his plate literally groancd beneath its
weight of edibles. Tomato saucc-his
especial horror-was passed around; a
preserve plate full was allotted to him.
He tried hard to swallow some, but it
stuck fast in his throat it chokcd and
sicl1cned him, and set him to coughing
with alarming violence.
"You have taken a severe cold, pre-
sumo 2" remarked Miss FlambeauX.
eyes, madam, thank you, have" re-
turned Singleton, trembling on the verge
of another sncezc.
"Why don't you cat your tomatoes? p
qucricd Mrs. Grubbins. "Aly poor dead
and gone DAME. used to say that there
was nothing in the wholevegetable world
equal to tomatoes"
"No doubt, madam, they arevery fine )"
and Singleton essayed second spoonful.
That second dose had well nigh been too
much for him, and with desperate resolve
he watched until the whole company
were engaged in drinking toast, when
he tilted the preserve dish and let its con-
tents run into his napkin, which rccepta-
Gle he whitfield into his pocket without de-
lay, and Immediately felt easier. A mo-
ment afterwards Judge Flanders propo-
scd sentiment:
"The Honorable Harry Singleton
May he always retain the title of "Hon-
orablc,' but may he soon resign his right
to be called Single. 1t is not good for
man to be alone"
The sentiment was drank with ap-
plause. Singleton, blushing red hot at
the insinuation conveyed by the words OF
the Judge, thrust his hand in his pocket to
eet his handkerchief. when instead, out
came the napkin, tomato and all. lie