Bedford inquirer. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1857-1884, 1860-10-26

ing the wound, thus obtaining results usually
produced by excision and cauterization. This
suggestion give for what it is worth
-~~s---
| THINGS WISE AND OTHERWISE.
If you wish to know the value of money,
earnIt.
Jcckeying at horse race is matter of
course.
The valley of the shadow of death-the un-
dertaker.
The winds are responsible for many an un-
lucky blow.
man is obliged to keep his word when co
bedy will take it.
How to avoid drowning keep your
head above water.
Few persons have sense enough to despise
the praise of fool.
The three ages Of Senator are mile-ags,
postage and patronage.
Can watch fitted with second hand be
called secoud hand watch.
man In earnest finds means; or, ie he
canuot ind them, creates them.
lady's home dress ought to last a long
times she Eever wears it out
Theory may be all very we'll, bus Young
lawyers and doctors prefer practice.
A good way to light some cities with gas,
would be to set fire to their editors.
Love Is compound of honey aud gall, mix
ed 10 various proportions for customers
w ben man aseends into the steeple of
church, he can be regarded as inspired.
Prentice thinks good ,aint jalep is the only
sort OF gr8enhorn that should be tolerated.
The coat of a horse is the gift of natu1e.--
That OF an ass is often the work of a tailor.
% parents forgiveness of daughter when
her heart is broken, is pardon after exeeu-
ton
The wild duck aud wild pigeon can hY be-
tween four hundred and i've hundred miles in
day.
No doubt it is great deal pleasanter to die
for some some beautiful women than to live
With them.
Quilp says there is many a woman strong
enough to hold horse who can't hold her own
tongue.
An old bachelor is a traveller upon life's
road, who has entirely failed to make the prom
or CONNECTIONS,
spray, madam, why did You name your old
hen Macdufs' "Because, sir, want her to
LAY on.'''
Matrimonial history is narrative of many
words; but the story Of love may be told in
few letters.
If you were obliged to swallow mau, whom
would yoa prefer to swaloWl A little Lon
don porter.
A man who had never seen TIE inside of
court house until he was introduced as witness
in a case pending in one Of our Districts Courts
sitting last fall in the northern part of the State
being sworn took position with his back to the
jury, and began telling bis story to the Judge
Judge g., in bis bland and courteous manrer
said:
address yourself to The jury, sir
( sThe made short pause; but not com-
pretending what was said to him, continued his
narrative His Honor was then moro explicit,
aud said to him:
Speak to the jury, sir-the men sitting be-
hind on the benehes.'
The witness then turned around, and making
an awkward bow, said, with great gravity Of
manner
'Good morning, gentlemen
Good evening, Miss Brown; very pleasant
sVeIy.'
'Looks very much like storm.
Very
'Are you well this evening"
Very
your fathers SICK
Very
your mother looks smart
Very
'Pon my honor, muttered Puggins to him.
self, as ks left the above LADY, 'shes the reriest
Miss | ever saw
'Why. you rascal said Radcliffe, tha great
physician, to pavor, who dunned bin; do you
pretend to be paid for such piece of scrk?--
Why, ycu have spoiled my pavement, aud then
covered it over with earth to hide yor bad
work.
Doctor said the pavior, mime is act ,he
only bad work the earth hides
You dog, you, said Radcliffe, 'you are
wit. You must be poor; come IN, aud you shall
be pad
Suffering others 10 think for Us, wbel.iIeas-
en- as supplied Is With reason aud eonscieucey
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