Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1860-07-27
Fact, Fun and Fancy.

L WV Il ILL CtIAO - CIllCXs
Drunkenness turns a man out OF
himself and leaves beast in his room.
=" How does real estate sell in your
town Z" "Oh, it's cheap as dirt"
Lawyers, it is said, as a general
thing, are very feeble men.
A lady's home dress ought to last a
long while; she never 1eears 1t out.
- The man who confines himself to
The drink best for him, is 'ceH-suppliod
What key opens the gate to misery
Ans.-Whis-key.
- Boys reach manhood by rather
roundabout way.
= Elderly unmarried ladies are con-
sldered by some persons the least envia-
be of all kinds of raitiag-n,aids.
Many man is perfect stranger
to himself, never having had even an
introduction.
= Men do not, like snakes, lose their
skin once year, but many of them de-
ecrVe 10 much oItener.
- The talk of women is generally
about the men. Even their laugh is but
he ! he he
1t is a common thing, in the voy-
nge of life, to mistake, like Sinbad, a
whales back for an island.
You may depend upon it that he is
a good man whose intimate friends arc
all good.
Many man keeps on drinking till
he hasn't coat either to his back or his
stomach.
=" We don't like promising young
men," said an Oxford trader the other
day, wed much rather they'd pay"
Say nothing, do nothing, which a
mother would not approve, and you are
on the certain road to happiness.
How concisely Pope describes the
slanderer in one line:
" AT every word reputation dies"
PRIDE. The DEVILS stratagem, who,
like an expert wrestler, usually gives a
man lift before he gives him throw
South.
-Dobbs thinks that instead of giving
credit to whom credit is due, the cash
had better be paid. Dobbs should not be
impertinent
Gts- Fame is an undertaken that paws
but little attention to the living, but be-
dizens the dead, furnishes out their fu-
neral, and follows them to the grave.
An Irishman once observed that
milestones were kind enough to answer
your questions without giving you the
trouble to ask them.
Take away my first letter, take
away my second letter, take away all nv
letters, and am still the same. The
postman.
1t is The privilege of the lover to be
Mt one and the same time in two situa-
mons. When beside his mistress, he is
beside himself.
Simpkins remarked that money is
the great leverin the affairs of mankind:
=" A very great Ieaeer, indeed, replied
Blinks, " never can keep it,"
When We read the almost interim
nable sentences of some writer's, we can
not help thinking that their readers are
IN danger Of being sentenced to death.
A man was charged with stealing
piece of cloth, when the lawyer put in
as plea that the individual charged
with stealing it could not see it, for it was
invisible green.
They have no old maids in jap an
when the girls don't get married yolun-
tarily, the authorities hunt up husband,
and make them marry, willing or not
willing.
:" All! how duth you like my NOUS
tache, NTH Laura" lisped dandy to
merry girl.
"Oh, very much. 1t looks like the
iuzz on the back of caterpiller p
A wag on seeing an old gobblcr
Va jus w ohdlioN u cotton Strlnn. very
fastidiously remarked -" That was the
last attempt to introduce cotton into Tur-
key"
SCENE AT RESTAURANT. Waiter
speaks-Please. sir, how will YOU have
your steak cooked
SERIOUS GENTLEMAN-Well done, GOOD
and faithful servant.
- One Of the latest interpretations of
the character of Hamlet" is that he
was a gambler; for he says, How alb
tolute the kaare isl We must speak by
the card"
The Next TnING TO IT." Got anv
ice at your end of the table. Bill?o
mo, but I've got the next thing to
"Whatsthat 2"
A severe cold"
-" What is a back-biter % asked n
parson at Sunday school examination
This was puzzle II went down tho
class until IL came 10 n sinpio ,rolt..