Western Reserve chronicle. [volume] (Warren, Ohio) 1855-1921, 1860-09-05
DOM PIATT IN A NEW ROLE.

"Fuz." Dom Piatt.) in his last letter
to the Mac-a-cheek Press, describes hi:
journey from Baltimore to New York. He
has reached Philadelphia, and there is nc
connection, and there he has the following
adventure:
was sitting on my trunk waiting fol-
the rest Of my baggage and a hack, when
1 was suddenly assaulted by some sharp
pointed instrument in the back-and start.
ing up. l saw a stout, middle aged lady.
with piercing black eyes, raven hair, and
not Unlocking; although at that moment
she looked quite I'LL mean angry-er
rather excited. She fourished a sunshade
of large dimensions-so large, indeed, that
it might serve as an umbrella, or as now,
an instrument Of attack.
MY good fellow" exclaimed corpulence
in petticoats to me, "will you just jump
round a bit and get my things together?
| am in a great hurry; [ must get to New
York tonight l am invited by Mrs. Ben
nett to her Japan matinee, and must get
through to Philadelphia to meet the train.
There, now, jump about, that's q good fel-
low. You shah be amply rewarded"
This was uttered in one breath, so sharp
ly and rapidly indeed | had no time to get
indignant. But to have your much respect
ed correspondent mistaken for a porter was
so very ridiculous l could not get angry.
A spirit ofmischief seized me-. knew the
lady-we had met before! So 1 went in.
jest you watch this gents trunk, aun-
ty," l exclaimed, "and I'll get your plum
der together in a minute"
So at work l went l fatter myself l
did it in good approved style. l seized
the huge trunk at once, and with a jerk
and fling sent 1t tumbEng to the floor
Every effort Of this sort vas rewarded with
a fresh scream and sundry pokes from the
.sunshade. I had the baggage together and
asked what next
Get a hack; mind, don't agree to pay a
cent more han one dollar-I know this
place. And he must drive very rapidly; l
must get over to Philadelphia in time for
the train"
Plenty of time, madam" remarked the
baggage master; the next train leaves at
z o'clock"
How dare you toll me the train leaves
at z o'clock.
"'Cause it's true"
ats not true; you know that it is not
true. What's the use of my going on the
z o'clock train? l had better 60 back to
Washington. l am invited to Mrs. Ben
nett's matinee. You know you are an i'm
position"
Thank you, mam-only spoke on your
own account. Eff you don't believe me,
there's a director of the Company. He can
tell you"
Away few my fair employer, ever the
trunks and through the passengers. She
.oYerhauled the director, and in a fey mo-
sments returned looking as if Mrs. Bennett
.natiaes had been quite taken out of her.
1t was even so-no train left before z o'clock
a. n. Nothing could be done but 90 to
bed and dream of the Bennett matinee, af-
ter paying the amateur porter. This 1
limited.
"HOw much do you want?"
"Well, it's worth all Of a dollar"
"a dollar. Why, this is monstrous-a
dollar. There, there's "a quarter, and that't
more than its worth, considering my dis
appointment"
This was shabby-and from her, too
I knew after many years my eyes had at
least remained good enough for a recogni-
ton l had had the honor of presenting
her to the Emperor, and assuring his I'm
perial Insignifcance that she was all right
and here she was jObbing me off with
twenty-five cents. 1 did wrong-I regret
it; but l wiped the perspiratiOn from my
forehead, pocketed the quarter, and with
my trunk drove away to the Continental
Hotel. FUz.