Wilmington journal. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1844-1895, 1860-04-12

"a
the Rufao Courier narrates the following shrewd crlu
cism, passed by rough Western man on Inc ralrle
Picture, by Beard the weknown artist OF tnat Guy
A few mornings ago, as was standing aoinFlDg
az confess myself quite fond of doing-that oeauuiui
deer group, TALL unmistakable Western man came up
behind me- and looked my shoulder. noticed at
once the quick stoppage OF breathing, which always o
lows admiration; but, to my surprise the s'oP was
short and something like laugh quickly succeeoeu-
Looking up, I saw yellow face overspreadlng WIN
smile. and there was decided twinkle in the eye.
Pshaw v' said be-, that's no pctur, after ALL That
amt no fair representation
Why" said l, "that struck me as oelng d Pre''y
good painting" .;n ..;5 no
Western man don't say ythng agln that Dut mere
never was enacted like it. Just look at that tall
rice grass up there and the fern weeds beowWho ever
saw them grow together Why, the one grows on wet
and the other on dry land. But that's pretty wet land,
be continued and just them deers feet, how clean
they be- They ought to be mud up to the knees and at
the gait there going at they'd be spotted with mud all
over tell ye when went to that country rst the men
skeered me sometimes driving their wagons on to wet
prairie but they'd tell me it all right; and sure
enough would find good bottom foot down. And
then the next thing knowd, they would be giving a
pretty wide berth to place that looked at nrst sl9hC
exactly like the totber and | soon found an easy way
to tell was by the grasses.
If any owe know that painter chap" said the I'M
consciously keen critic, be prepared to move off, jest
tell him. but its use,' be said lowering bis voice,
" that's good enough city prairie
Down in Egypt Illinois, Deacon Smith one day was
called upon to marry old couple less than sixty
years of age The crowd assembled at the old log school
house together The Deacon and the marital candidate
" Mr.. Jones'" said the Deacon, and Sarah Long,
stand up. Do you, Mr.. Jones, take Sarah Long, whom
you hold by the right hand to be your lawful and we'd
ded wife so long as you both shall lite?"
We'll, | d." said Jones'
"Do you, Sarah Long, take Mr.. Jones, whom you
hold by the right hand, to be your lawful welded hus-
bard so long as you both shall live? ~
"No sir, Deacon Smith, only so long as Mr.. Jones
shall vote the Democratic ticket" replied the patriotic
female.
The happy couple were joined together and went on
their way rejoicing
TAKING MAN TO PE1cEs-C Captain Evans was an
old naval veteran of sxtyseven he had lost an arm and
an eye years and years before at Navarno which last
action settled his understanding both legs being carried
off by chain shot. Cork legs coming into fashion
Captain had pair of the first quality made for him
he had false leg and hand into the latter he could
screw fork hook, occasion required and being
gloved the deficiency not easily perceived. AS in
creesing years rendered him inrm his Wallets took adj
vantage of him. that he wrote his brother Somerset
shire squire to send him up tenants body servant
-" no matter how stupid if but honest and faithful
| he wrote.
His brother was absent and sent his steward to Sc
Iect lad This the steward Gid but merely mentioned
that Captain Evans was inrm, not arprisng the lum-
kin of his new masters DEFICIENCIES and sent him to Lon
don at once, where the Captain lived
At ten at night he arrived, and was Immediately
shown to Captain Evans sitting room.
| "W That is your name p
"My name be John, Eur"
"WeIl john my rascally valet is absent again, with
out leave help to bed it is ate and then you
| go down to your supper"
Adjoining to the bed room the old gentlemen said
" Johr ulscrew mig leg"
"Zur' said John.
Unscrew my leg this way, see.'
John did So trembingly
''John unscrew my other leg"
"Zur" SAID john
UnScreW my other leg, Srr."
John did so, now in a state of bewiderment
John unScrev this arm'
Trembling still more, to the captains great amuse-
ment, be obeyed.
"John, put this eye on the table,"
John took it as if it would have bitten him.
CHOW, John-no | won't take the other eye out
lift me into bed"
This DONE the waggsh captain continued John,
beat up the pillow, it is not comfortable
1t done.
:" Beat it up again. sir it is quite hard.
Again he shook up the pillow.
That won't do John, can't get my head comfort
able.
UnScreW my head"
No, by thunder, I'll unscrew no more )" and John
fled from the swearing his master was the devil
taking himself to pieces like clock.