Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1860-09-06
Yumorons Aeaotng.
A PERPL,ExED BRIDEGROOM.

A PERPLExED BRIDEGROOM.
Some days since a very rustic and mar
tistic couple, residents of Kentucky, nea
the Tennessee line, concluded marriage tt
be their destiny, and with this idea, CAM
to the Western Athens, DESTROYS of sacri
6cing themselves to Hymen at the earlies
opportunity,
In due time they arrived in this city
and repairing to the Spencer House, In
formed clerk Andrew Blum that they were
extremely intent on perpetrating matrimo
nv, and that nothing could thwart thei1
purpose. Mr.. Blum, so far from wishing
to prevent their amiable immolation, made
every effort to facilitate their design, anc
so we'll did he succeed, that in less than ar
hour james and tJemima' were weddec
as firmly as lay in the capacity Of a clergy
man to bind them.
The clerk, after the ceremony had beer
performed, believing that all new married
people ought to be as we'll accommodated
as possible, gave them a parlor and bee
room on the third floor, and babe them 'good
evening about ten o'clock, not neglecting
to wish them every possible bliss.
The twain meekly followed the servant
to the rooms, and were left alone there for
the night; the clerk thinking no more Of
until about 2 o'clock, when, sitting
doing in an easy chair behind the counter
in the Office, he was aroused by a voice say.
ing: Look here, Mr.. Clerk, oh, Mr.. Clerk,
I'd like to speak to you just a mint, and
now.
Mr.. Blum opened his eyes, and beheld
his rustic friend, hatless and c~oatless, with
a flushed face and dishevelled hair, and
suchgenerally disarranged attire as indicated
that he had been undergoing some very
violent exercise. .
"Well, sir, of what benefit can I be to
your
why, why, 1 didn't like to trouble you,
and l don't know how you fellows does
things 10 this big town ; but, but, -
But what ? my good friend questioned
the clerk, anxious to free the ~ruralist from
his confusion, each moment on the increase.
sWhy, why, you know we're married.
Jemima and me-
sOh, yes, and | wish you all manner of
good fortune, my fine fellow
Wa, I pose you do, but coufound if l
can get the hang of things in this darned
place. May be I'm green; l guess | am
sort O that way by jiugoes, you do funny
here.
Explain, if you please, my man. What
do you wish to sayT
sWe don't care, Jemima and me, for q
little while; but to roll on the floor all night,
it's devilish hard stranger, III swear it is
Roll round on the floor, what do you
meanT
well, 1 'spose it isn't what you call
fashionable in q big town but by gumbo
where we come from, married people alters
goes to bed
Haven't you been in bed? asked the
clerk in great surprise.
why, how the devil could We 60 to bed
when there wern't no bed to 60 to? That's
what we want the worst sort
my good fellow, there'a bed in your
room. Did you not see it in your chamber
in the rear of the parlor"
did you give US moran one room, stran-
ger? By ~jingoes, I didn't know it. It's
all | want-all right, old feller;' and so
saying he ran up stairs, and before the
clerk could ascend to the chamber the bu-
colcist was in bed: and replied to the knock
on the door: sAll right now I've found
it-Jemima and me are satisfied. We don't
want you, all right. God bless you, old
fellow. All right-fust-rate, God bless
you ; good night
Mr.. Blum went chucklirg down to the
Office at the idea that the unfortunate rural.
ist had >passed four hours in his parlor
without even supposing that there was II
bed-chamber attached.
Poor simpleton no wonder he was en-
barrassed and troubled-under the circum-
stances.
CALL ON HANs.-Here is an account of
a little census scene which came off in Ew
en- street, between the Marshal and a gen
tleman from Germany:
sWho lives here"
'Yaw.'
- whats your name!
tSharmany, on der Rhine
whats your fathers name"
Nix for Straw
when did you arrive in this city"
sMit a steamboat
Got any children"
sYaw-two barrels NIT krout'
. 'How long have you residediu this house? ?
Two rooms and der easements
who owns the building"
Il pays noting. Hans pays der same
twice a mont
Where did you live last year?
Across der red store you come nit DEF
market in your right hand, pehiud del
pump vat belongs to der blacksmith SLOPES.
A REAL RELIsHER OF A JoKE.-A
man lately received twenty lashes we'll laid
Oh at the whipping post in an English
town. The culprit, instead of believing
when the constable applied the lash, laugh
ed immoderately, which made the angry of
fcer lay ou with harder force. On giving
him his twentieth blow the angry Office:
could stand it no longer.
Wall lonk here mister said the offend