Raftsman's journal. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1854-1948, 1860-03-21
VOL. &'---No. 80.
A CHEERFUL SHEPHERD -

Mormonism, says the Cincinnati Inquirer,
is still in practical operation amongst US. On
last Friday tall, raw-boned Saint, with a COM
plexion very strongly resembling that of boil
ed tripe, arrived here from Pittsburgh with a
couple of wives, but deeming his flock too
small to start Salt Lakeward with, held forth
as follows to an admiring audience at house
over the. canal, with view to the perfection
of the material necessary to the completeness
of his domestic felicity. His text was:
ssIMen is skeerce and Weemen is plenty.''
ssBrothern and Sstern-pertickler the Sis
tern: want to say few words to you bout
Mormonism-not for my own sake, but for
yourn, for men is skeerce and weemen is plen-
ty.''
sMormonism is built on that high old prin-
ciple which seq that it amt good for man to
be alone, and mighty sight worse for wo-
man. Therefore If man feels good with
little company, good deal of it ought to
make him feel an awful sight better.
s'The first principle of Mormonism is, that
women air good thing, and the second prin-
ciple is that you can't have too much of good
thing. Women is tenderer than man, and is
necessary TO smooth down the roughness of
his character, and as man has good many
rough pints in his patur, he oughtn't to give
one woman too much to do, but set each OF
to work to smoothing some particular pint.
'sDon't think I'm over anxious for you to
j L
good, but for yourn; ''for men is skeerce and
weemen is plenty
81 said woman was tenderer than man, but
you needn't feel stuck up about it, tor so she
ought to be for she was made SO on purpose.
But how was she made so? Where did she git
it from Why, she was created out of the side
bone Of man, and the sidebone of man is
like the sidebone of turkey-the tenderest
part of him. Therefore, as a woman has three
sidebones and man only one, OF course she
is three times as tender as man is, and is in
duty bound to repay that tenderness of which
| she robbed him. And how did she rob him of
his sidebone Why, exactly as she robs his
pockets nowadays of his loose change-she
took advantage of him when he was sleep.
s'But as woman is more tenderer than man,
SO is man more forgivener than woman, there
fore won't say anything more about the side
bone, or the small change, but invite you all
to join my train, for I'm big shepherd out
our way, and fare sumptuously every day on
purple and fine linen.
s.When | first landed on the shores of the
great Salt Lake l wasn't rich in weemen. L
had but one poor old doe, sbut men is skeerce
and weemen is plenty and like keeItul
shepherd began TO increase my flock. Wee
men heard of us and our Iovin' ways, and they
kept pourin' in. They come from the North
and they come from the South, they come
from the East, and they come from the West,
they come from Europe. they come from All
shey, and a few OF them come from Afrikey,
and from bein' the miserable owner of one old
yoe, become the joyful shepherd of nigh
ty flock, with right smart sprinklin' of lambs,
friskier and fatter than anybody else's, and
I've still got room for few more.
Gas said before I'm not talking pertickler
for my benefit, but for yourn-'for men is
skeerce and weemen is plenty Still, I'd
little rather you'd go along with me than not,
pertickler you fat one with the caliker bunnet.
Don't hesitate, but take the chance while you
can get it, and I'll make you the sbell yoe' of
the flock. I'l lead you through green pas
lures and the high grass show you where you
may caper in the sunshine, and lay down in
pleasant places and as you are in pretty
good condishun already, in the course of time
you shall be the fattest of the flock. Jne in,
jine in now sfor men is skeerce and weemen
is plenty"
The appeal was Irresistible. At the last ac-
counts 'stEe fat woman with the caliker bum
metz had s'jined in,'' and two or three others
were on the fence, with decided leaning to-
wards the s:Keerful Shepherd