Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1860-12-07
NO. 2;92.
MISCELLANEOUS READING.
4. A CASE OF CONSCIENCE;
o., the Professors at tie Races.

BY John 9. SAKE.
Two College Professors I won't give their
/ names-
| (Call one of them JacoJ the other one James,
Two College Professors, who ne'er in their lives
4 Had wandered before from the cares of their
i Wivt g. "t -
| One day in vacation, whom lectures were through,
Anditeachcrs and students had nothing to do,
| Took it into their noodles to 90 to the races,
To look at the nags and examine their PAGES,
And find ont the meaning of ''bolting" and "bait-
irg," t"ssEsaaz
And the CLEARLY pseposterous) practice of "wait-
ing"
And E1aying long Odds" and the other queer ca
pers .e=4 .rFr.est.sl Hs...r
Which cram the reports that appear in the pa
pers; .t ~ gEI @.Ffa
And whether a "stake" is the same as a post?
And how far a Cheat" may resemble roast?
And whether a"hedge," in the language of sport,
Is much like the plain agricultural sort?
And If f::making book" is thing which requires
practical printer?-and who are the buyersI
Such matters as these-yery proper to know
And no thought of beting-induced them to go
TO the Annual Races which then were in force
(lIorse-racing, in fact, is matter OF course,
Apart from the punl in the neighboring town,
And So as said the Professors went down.
The day was the finest that ever was known;
The atmosphere just of that temperate tone
Which pIeases the Spirit OF oman andy the Tines,
But impossible quite to describe in my rhymes.
The track had been put in q capital plight
BY small dash of rain on the previous nigN
And all things 'went of"-saye some Of the hor-
As lively as crickets or Kansas divorces.
Arrived at the ground, it is easy to guess
Our worthy Professors dsmay and distress
At all the queer things which expanded their
eyes
(Not to mention their ears) to wonderful size!
How they stared at the men who were playing at
poker,
And scolded the chap with the "sIy little joker"
And the bog who had something uncommonly
nice"
Which he offered to sell at very high price
volume that didn't seem over refined,
And clearly was otof the Sunday School kind.
All this, and much more-but your patience will
fail, terss
UnOss desist, and 60 on with my tale.
Our worthy Professors no sooner had found
Their (ten-shilling) seats in the circular ground
And looked at the horses. when presently came
A wish to know what was the Fcrorite's name;
And how stood the bettin9-quite plainly reveal
ing Il, n ,.rt...tf 81. Il .,
The old irrepressible horse-race-y feeling,
Which is borne in the bone, and is apt to come out
When Thoroughbred coursers are snortlng about.
The Professors, in fact-I am gricvcd to report
At the very first match entered into the sport;
Just ffty apiece on the Bro,cn and the Bay,
And shouted as loud as they ever could below,
''IIurrah for the 6y !" and Goit, old fellow "
And "Stick to your business" " and "Rattle your
pegs" p
Like a jolly old brace of professional "Legs."
The race being over, quoth Jacob, 1 see
My wager is forfeit; to that agree:
The ffty is yours by the technical rules
Observed, l um told by these horse-racing fcols;
But then, as CAristian-I am sorry to say it,
My conscience, you know, won't allow me to pay
it?" ".t F. ~ ~. .a ,
"No matter" quoth James-"I can hardly refuse
To accord with your sound theological views;
A tardy repentance is better than none;
must Tell you, however, twas your horse that
won! ,....
But, of course, you won't think of demanding the
pelf,
FoY have aconscicnce, as we'll as yourself"