Nebraska advertiser. [volume] (Brownville, Nemaha County, N.T. [Neb.]) 1856-1882, 1860-08-16
Chips and ShaViHgS,

-~~O~~~O~~~~~ ~-~~-~~~~.~-~s~-~~ 49,
That's my business as the butcher
said 70 the dog that was killing bis sheep.
Why has il been so hot lately-Be-
cause the World has knocked spots into
the Sun. -..-.- ..-s-.r- ..+,
"What have yon TO remark, madam,
about my singing Z" Nothing, sir--il's
not remarkable"
There are a great many beams IN the
eyes Of the ladies, but they are all sun
beams. 't
What means of Conveyance by land and
sea are ladies fondeSt of? Busses and
smacks. f .a-t 8t s5.11
- ''The young lady with 'spu+kling eyes
has become quite hoarse In consequence
of using G-em too much. ls sag
"Sasan." asked Charley ,''what animal
dropped from the clouds % 1.-The rain,
dear, was the whispered reply. .aH,
Why is a muG like a fopl7 Because
il holds lady's hand without squeezing
it. -...
Why is Sayers Ike NebuchadRezzar7
Because he was "senl TO grass"
Men become wiser in, almost all re.
spects after forty, except in those affairs
in which they are themselves cocerned.
What is the difference between one
who walks and one who looks up fight
Of stairs : One steps up stairs, and the
other sIares up steps. s-..l
We have heard of bat one old woman
that "kissed her COW. y but there thous-
onds Of young woman that kiss grea,
calyes. .'
The violet grows and covers itself wilb
its own tears, and of all the flowers yields
the sweetest fragrance. Such IS human
ity.
Mrs Partington, hearing that q young
man had set up for himself, SAID, 'PoOr
fellow has he no friend that will set up
fer him part of the time."soa.E5 l.r.a
Fine complexion Mrs. Ii. has got"
said Brown TO his.friend Bristles, the ar
tist. 81 know il, replied the artist, ''she
and | buy colOrs at the same shop" r.
Vice and folly may feelthe edge Of wit
but virtue Is inyulnerable aguafoEl,s dis
solves the base metals, but has no power
TO dissolve or corrOde gold. as.:
The fan most liable to injure mans
brain is-io fall in love with handsome
damsel, without the SMALLEST chance Of
your succeeding.
Miss Fantadling says the first time she
locked arms with young man, she feli
like Hope -eaning on her anchor. Poet
ic-womah that.
u presume" +" said Jem Horn, on enter
ing a store, shat you deal in all kinds Of
mails 90 "Certainly," replied the clerk
in attendance. Then will trouble you
for pound of toe nails"
A young lady IN the East, is 50 refined
in her language, that she never uses the
word ''blackguard," but substitutes "Af-
rican sentinel" This is somewhat upon
a par with what Capt MaryaIt makes a
Yankee young lady substitutes "FoOsler-
swain LOT COcKSHaln. .llH
7 A candidate for Congress, out West.
sums up his education as follows: Il nsv.
er went to school bat three times in my
life, and that was to night school. Two
nights the teacher didn't come, and, 10th
er night HAD no candle.
| An Israelite lady, sitting in the same
box at an opera, with French physic-
an, and was much troa6led with eanui,
happened to cape. Excuse me mad
ame,'' said the doctor, Il am glad you
did not swallow me" "GiVe yourself no
uneasiness," replied the lady, Il am a
Iewess, and never eat pork -
It bas.been. thought by some eynics tha;
the happiest marriages are between blind
wives and deaf husbands.
A young lady who believes in Bible
law Of Love-" when suiitlen by her low
er (with kiss on one cheek, always