Vermont watchman and State journal. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1836-1883, 1860-02-10
GrnfraI 1HtstcIIanu.
From the Atlantic Monthly for Febr'ary'
MY LAST LOVE.

ma
ewn likings. Too many Of them are but sun
rise vapors, very rosy to begin with, but by
midday as dingy as any old dead cloud with
the rain all shed out of it. | never see any
of those old swains of mine, without feeling
profoundly thankful that | don't belong to
him shouldn't want to look over my hus-
bands head in any sense. So they all got
wives and children, and lived an old maid,
although | was scarcely conscious OF the
state; for, If my own eyes or other peoples
testimony were to be trusted, ! didn't look
old. and I'm quite sure didn't feel So But
/ came to myself on my thirty-secoud birth
day an old maid most truly, without benefit
of clergy. And thereby hangs this tale; for
on that birthday first made acquaintance
with my last love.
Something like a month before, there had
come to Huntsville two gentlemen in search
of game and quiet quarters for the summer
They soon found that hotel in a country vii
lage affords little seclusion; but the woods
were full Of game, the mountain brooks
swarmed with trout too fine to be given up,
and they decided to take house of their own.
After some search they fixed on an old house
! 1--WE forgotten whose folly it was called }
| full a mile and half from town, standing up
on a mossy hill that bounded my fields.
square and stiff and weather beaten, and with
out any protection except a ragged pine tree
that thrust its huge limbs beneath the empty
windows, as though it were running away
with a stolen house under its arm. The place
was musty, rat-eaten, and tenanted by a cou-
pie of ghosts. who thought fever, once quite
fatal within the walls, no suitable discharge
/ from the property, and made themselves per-
fcotiy fr@o ef the Inartars IN ProPerly weir3
seasons. But money and labor cleared out all
the cobwebs, for ghosts are but spiritual
cobwebs. you know,) and tho old house soon
wore a charming air Of rustic comfort.
I | used 10 look over sometimes, for it was
I full in view from my chamber windows. and
see the sportsmen going off by sunrise with
their guns or fishing rods, or lying after their
late dinner. stretched ufon the grass in front
Of the house. smoking and reading Some
times a fragment OF a song would be dropped
down from the lazy wings Of the south wind,
sometimes long laugh filed all the summer
air and frightened the pine-wood into echoes.
and, altogether. the new neighbors seemed to
live an enviabe life They were very civil
people too; for though their nearest path
out lay scross my fields, and close by the
doorway, and they often stopped to buy fruit
or cream or butter. we we're never annoyed by
an impertinent question or look Once only
| overheard a remark not altogether civil, and
that was on the evening before my birthday
/ One of them. the elder, said, as he went away
| from my house with basket Of cherries. that
he should like to get speech with that poly
glot old maid, who read, and wrote. and made
her own butter-pats. The other answered.
that the butter was excellent at any rate, and
perhaps she had classical COW; and they
went down the lane laughingly disputing
about the matter, not knowing that was be-
hind the currant bushes.
'Poyglot old maid ] thought. very indig-
nantly, as | went into the house. I've a
mind not to sell them another cake of my but
ter. Blu, wonder if people call me an old
maid ! wonder il | am one.
thought Of it all the evening, and dreamt
of it all night, waking the next morning with
a new realization Of the subject That first
sense of lost youth How sharp and strong
it comes That suddenly opened north door
Of middle life. through which the winter
winds rush in, sweeping out of the southern
windows all the splendors Of tho earlier time
| it is like sea-turn in late summer 1t has
seemed to be June all along, and we thought
it was June, until the wind went round to the
cast, and the first red leaf admonished US
! By-and-by We close. as well as we may, that
open door, and look out again from the win
dows upon blooms, beautiful in their way, to
which some birds yet sing but, alas the
wind is still from the east. and blows as
though, far away, it had lain among cebergs
So | mused all the morning, watering the
sentiment with bit of shower out of my
cloud and wher the shadows turned them
selves, went out to see how old age would
look to me in the fields and woods 1t was
Ials 4 L
of hay-making, odorous, misty, sleepily mu-
sical, than waking reality, on which the
sun shone. Tremuous blue clouds lay down
all around upon the mountains, and lazy white
ones lost themselves in the waters and
through the doing air, the faint chrp of
robin or cricket, and ding Of bells in the
woods, and mellow cut of scythe. melted into
one song as though the heartbeat of the
luscious midsummer time had set itselfto tune
l walked on to loitor through the woods.
No dust-brush for brain or heart like the
boughs of trees There dwells a TRUTH and
pure, strong health within them, an ever-re-
turning youth, promising us a glorious leaf
age in some strange spring time, aud a SYM
metry and sweetness that possess us until our
tho"shts grow skyward like them and wave
ana sing IN some SUMMER strata of soul-air.
In tne woods was girl again, and forgot
the How OF the hours in their pleasant com
panionship. | must have grown tired and
sat down by thioket of pine. TO rest tbongb
| have forgotten, and perhaps / had fallen
asleep for suddenly became conscious of
sharp report, and sharper pain in my should
er, and, tearing off my cape, | found the
blood was flowing from a wound just below
the joint. | remember little more, for a sud
den faintness came over me; but have an
indistinct remembrance Of people coming up,
OF voices, of being carried home, and of the
CONSERVATION there, and long delay in obtain
ing the surgeon. The pain of an operation
brought me fully to my senses and when
that was over, was left alone to sleep, or to
think over my situation at leisure. I'm afraid
| had but little of Christian spirit then.
All my plans of labor and pleasure spoiled by
this one piece of careessness to call il by
the mildest term. All those nice little fan
eies that should have grown into real flesh
and blood articles for my publisher, hung up
to dry and shrivel without shape or comeli-
ness The garden, the dairy, the new bit of
carriageway through the beeches,-my pet
scheme,-the new music, the sewing, ali laid
upon the shelf for an indefinite time, and
with no better employment than to watch the
wallpaper, and to wonder if it wasn't almost