Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1860-06-28
ARTEMUs WARD MEETS THE oCro.
ROOM

ROOM.
ONTO TIE WISe, Aperil the IL, & 6G.-It Ia
with no ordinary feelings of Shagrin and in
9lgnasnun tnat l rite you these here lines
SUN Oi tne NEST and most purest feelns which
actooate the humin hart has been tramnt onto
The Amerycan flag has been outraied. I've
DIN nussin Adder In my Boozum. The fax in
tue kase is this here: A few weeks ago left
Baldlnsvill to go to N Y, for to git out INV
namin yaller hanbills for the summer kampane
as was peroosin a noosepaper on the kars
a mlddel aged man in specterkuls KUN and sot
down onto me. He was drest in black close,
and was appeerently as fine a man as ever
was.
"a fine da, Sur" he did unto me strateway
| sa "Mldelin, sez L, not wishin to kommit
myself, tho he peered to be as fine man as
there was in the wurld-''it's a middlin fine
dsy, square l observed. Sez he, "How fares
the Ship of State in your regime of kedentry9'
Sez 4, "We don't have eny ships in our State
the knawls is our best holt" He pawst a mint
and then sed, Air you aware, Sur, that the
krisis is with us?" NO seq L, getin up and
lOokin under the sect, ''whare is she?" fsIt's
hear-it's everywheres," he sed
Sez ., "Wby how yu tawk,' and got ND 4
| lookt all round. II must sa, my fren,' I con-
| tinered, as l rezoOmed my sect, "that I can't
see nothing of no krisis myself" felt sum-
what alarmed. arose & in a steptowrin voice
observed that if any lady or gentleman in that
there kar had krisis concealed about their
persons they d better produce it at onct or suf-
Ter kOnsekences. Several individuals snikered
rite out, while purity little damsel rite behind
me IN pInc gown made the obsarvashun He
ne. 'Slt down, my fren," said the man in
olack close, ''yu miskOmprehend me- mean
tnat the perlittercal ellermunts are orecast
with black klouds, 4boden a fritefuI storm -
w all, repllde L, Gin regard to perlitercaI
elleriunts, L don't know as how but what tuev
Is as good as emmy other kind of ornery set (
unpleasant to have round. They are powerful
neaVy eaters, d take up a rite small chans of
room d besides they are as ugly and revenie-
ful as CuSScaraaruS Injun with I3 inches of
corn whisky in his stummick''
The man IN black close seemed to be as fine
man as ever was in the world. He smilt &
Sed praPS was rite, tho it was ellermunts in
std OF ellerfunts that he was aluding to.
axed me what was my princirpuls / baint
got emmy, Sed l." not princerpul line in
the show bSnis." The man in black close. 7
VIII hear obSarve, seemed to be as fine a man
as ever was in the wurld. But" sez he,
Z" you hev feelings into you. Yu cimpathize
with the misfortunitt, the lowly the hart.
sick, don't you ?" lie bust into teers & axed
me ef saw that yuDg lady in the sect out yon-
der, pintin to as slick gal as ever seed. Sed
l, y be sure L see hers she much sick l''
The man in black close was apeerentIy as fine
a man as ever wos in the world ennywhares.
Draw close to me" sed the man in black
close. " Let me get my mowth ferenenst yure
ear. Hush-shes a Octoroon ~ ssNo - sez
L, Citing up In an excited manner yu don't
say so How long has she been in that way %
From her airliest infuncy," said he ssWa all
what upon airth duz she du it for?" 1 inquired
- She can't help ii" sed the man in black
clOse-''it's the brand of Kane" wall.
shede better stop drinkin Kane's brandy 1
repllde- g L sed the brand of Kane was upon
her-nOt brandy, my fren. Yu air obtoose. -
was considerbul riled at this Sed + ssMv
gentle Sur, line a nOnresistanter as a gineraI
thing don want to git up no rows with no.
body, but kin nevertheless kave in any mans
he'd that calls me obtoose," with which re-
marks kommenced fur to pull orf my extra
garmints. Cum on, " sez Thine hears a
Beniki Boy for ye," 4 danced around like a
poppit. lie riz up in his seat and axed nv
pardon-sed it was all mistake-that was a
good man, etsettary, SOW 4th, We fixed il
all up pleasant l must say that the man in
black close seemed to be as fine a man as ever
lived in the world. He sed Uctoroon was
the Sth of negrow. He likewise statid that
the female he was travellin with was formurIy
slave in Mississippy; that she purchist her
freedom, now wanted to purchiss the free
dom of her muther, who (the man in black
close Observed) was between 81 years of age. &
had to do all the cookin d washin for 25 hired
men, which was rapidly breaking down her
constitution. He said he knowd the mint he
gazed onto my classac benevurlent fase that
ide denote literally, It axed me to 90 over and
see her, which accordingly did
sot down beside her sed, "Yure saryant,
marin. How du yer git along2" She burst into
teers and sod, go, sur, line so retched-Ime n
poor unfortiDit OctOrOon' - $50 IIsrn Ynre
rather more Room than OctO, / take" said 7,
for never seed purifier gal in the hull en-
dOOrin time of my life. She had on a More
Antic Bask and Poplin Nubier with Berage
trimmins onto ii, while her Ise and kerIs was
enuf to make man jump into a mill pond
without biddin bis relashuns good by. pitied
the Octoroon from the inmost recusses of nv
hart, hawled out $50 ker slap, d told her to
buy her ole muther as soon as posserbuI. Sez
she, "kine sur, much thanks" She then laid
her head onto my showlder 4 sed | was cold
rats" 1 was astOnished to heer this obserya-
tion, which | knowd was never used in refined
society, L perlitely but emfatycaly showed
her he'd away.
Sez /, "Marm, line trooly sirprized'' Sez
she, "Git Out-yure the incest old man I've
seen yit. Give us another So" Had seleck
assortment Of the most tremenjus thunderboIts
decended down onto me, | cOOdn't been more
taken aback. / jumpt up, but she ceased my
coat tails, 4 in a wild voice cried, mo, lie
never desert you-let us li together to furrin
s1oor." Sez L, Not much we won't" and |
mode powerful effort TO get away from her.
This Is plade out" / se@ where upon she
jerkt me back into the seat "Legpo NV coat
you scandslus female" roared, when she set
up the most unearthly yellin and hollerin va
ever heerd. The passinjirs q the gentlemunly
konductor rusht to the spot & don't think +
ever experiunsed such rumpus in the whole
course ef my natral dase. The man in black
close rusht up to me 4 sed. How dare you in
suit my neece, yu "horbedded vagabone, Yu
base exhibitor Of low wax fggers, Yu wooIf in
sleeps close. SOW 4th. 4
was kOnfoozed. was a loonatic for the
time bein and offered S. reward to eny gentle
m m Of good moral character who wood tell me
what my name was a what town lived into.
The konductor came to me d sed the insulted
parties would settle for $50, which il. meiitly
hawled out, and again implored somebuddy to
state where was principally, d if shood be
thsre CRATE while myself ef things went on as
theyde bin goin for some time back 1 then
axed if there was emmy more Octoroons present,
''becaWs, sez l, "ef there is, let EN- cum along,
for line in the 0ctoroon bisms'' then thru
my spectercles out Of the winder, smasht nv
hat wildly down over my Ise, lsrfed highster-
ically 4 fell under my sect la there some
time and fell asleep. / drempt Mrs Ward 4
twins had been carried orf by Ryenosser HOSES
A that Rald;n.-;il hal ha.r,