Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1860-06-28
The Lucky Advertisement.

Twenty one years ago, l was sitting by my
fre-side footing up innumerable pages of my
bachelors housekeeping-book, taking exercise
in arithmetic on long columns of "petty cash
comprising items for carrots and bath bricks,
metal tacks and mutton chops-untll tired and
wearied, arrived at the sum total, and jerked
the book on the mantle piece. Nearly at the
same time placed my hand in the pocket of my
dressing gown, drew out leather case, and lit
a principe. Well having lit the principe, l
placed my feet on the fender and sighed, exhaus-
ted by the long job of domestic accounts !
was then in business twas small wholesale
business then, tits large one now-yet one
mornings tottings of carrots and bath-bricks,
of metal tacks and mutton chops, would tire me
thousand times more than twenty-four hours
Of honest edger-work. Isighed, not from love,
but from labor for to tell you the truth, I had
never been in love. Is this to 60 on for ever !!
thought as took my third Whit, and looked
dreamily through the thin smoke as it ascended
between me and large print of the capture of
Gibralter which hung over the chimney piece.
Am | to spend my prime in totting up parsnirs,
and computing carrots, and comptrolling wash
ingbllls9 sighed again, and in the act, of
few the button Of my neck-band, as though
some superior power had seasohably sent the ac-
cident to remind me of my helplessness.
The button settled the business though as it
slipped inside my shirt, and passed with its
mother-o' pearl coldness over my heart, it for a
moment threatened to chill my matrimonial res
olution. pitied my ownlonely state, and pity
we know, is akin to love. But how was the
matter to be accomplished? Most men of my
age would already have adjusted their inclina
tion to some object so that having made W
their mind and counted the cost, little mort
would have remained to be done than to decide
upon the day, and lay hold upon the liconce.-
This, however, was not the case with me.
had been too much occupied, too idle, or too in
form an attachment" 1t was through ne
dsinclination or difficulty to be pleased fol
had any young lady of moderately agreeable
powers taken the trouble she might have mar
ried me long ere then. should even have beer
grateful to her for taking the trouble off my
hands but was too bashful to adopt the ini
tatve.
was bashful man. This weakness cam,
from the same cause of my Uncle Toby's-
namely, want of acquaintance with femal
society, which want arose from another cause
namely, too close an application to business.
Accordingly | thought of an advertisement
yet with no practical design of doing business
but, as I persuaded myself, for joke So
scratched with a pencil on the back of lette
the following
"WANTED WIFE. None but principles nee
apply The advertiser does not require cash
but companion lie is six and twenty, ant
tired of single, he thinks he can settle down t
married life. AS men 60, he believes he has
moderate share Of temper, and want Of time
his only reason for having recourse to the new
paper lie has enough means for himself an
a second party and is willing to treat ut onc
He is quite aware that great many attemp
to convert his honest intentions into an extrayt
giant joke will be made, but he warns all ras