The Democratic press. (Eaton, Preble County, Ohio) 1860-1865, 1860-09-27
Little or Nothing.
Motto for fa,t Hounp men-meet d

......Motto for fast young men-meet and
drink. ,
children progress very rapidly-Often
att spanking pace.
49,. Money is the root of all evil-particu-
larly matri'mony.
Wanted BY a fast young man, a puck
ering string for the curtain Of night.
......At what season we're Adam and Eve
most unhappy in Eden2 In the Fall.
Victims of faro banks must allow
that gamblers have very win-some ways.
1.-The only share that love has in most
fashionable marriages is their Cupidity.
1.-The only State of the Union ruled
over by a special Providencc-Rhode Island.
Wanted, the knife with which a man
cut an acquaintance, and a kernel of q grain
Of allowance.
..... When have married people passed
| through the alphabet of loveY When they
reach the babe.
MANY q swectly-fashiored mouth has
been ~disfgured and made hideous By the fe-
ry tongue within it.
......A gentleman, remarking that he wish
ed to get some base voices for n Club, was
advised to get a club for the base voices.
......I do declair, Lib, you're pretty enough
to eat" well, dear Charles, amt | eating
as fast as I cam replies Lib, with her mouth
full.
......Since women often fall through their
affections, love must affect the brain, making
them dizzy, not the heart, as is usually sup
posed.
1914 bad wife" says an old author, lis
| confusion, weakness, discomforture, and des-
pair" Bad enough, is it not, good, ould
woman2
......lt is said more misery, present and to
come, can be compressed into n marriage
ceremony than into any other space of q
similar duration.
why is n young lady preparatory 10
dressing in her crinoline, like a flour barrel
Because the hoops have to be raised before
the head will go in.
......Give the devil his due. Certainly,
says a c~otempoIary; but it is better to have
no dealings with the devil, and then there
will be nothing due him.
1.-The advantage of ignorance-Mer
hoNo uotpol N, -, nrto1,tr h. n,,.;,.. L.,
those who cannot write are sure to make
their mark in the world.
......A contemporary speaks of "the graceful
figures of childhood" Blinkins SAYS that
the figures at the bottom of child-hood's shoe
clothing bills are not so graceful.
Don't be in too great a hurry, girls, tc
fall in love with the young men. 1t offer
happens that your hearts are no sooner their,
than theirs are no longer yours.
......If you want to have a man for q frient
never incur the i'll will of his wife, Publit
opinion depend, in a great measure, on tn,
average prejudices of woman-kind.
......An afflicted husband wis returning
from the funeral of his wife, when a frienc
asked him how he felt. "Well," said he, pa
thetically, Il think feel the better for tina
little walk"
WHAT is the meaning of backbiter 2
asked q person at a Sunday-Sbhool examina
ton. This was a puzzler. 1t went down tn
class until it came to a simple urchin, VIII,
said; perhaps it be q flea p
......Romantic young girls, of ~disappointe,
bachelors, who have an idea of drowning
themselves, would confer a favor on the cor
oner and undertaken by leaving their effect
on shore Bank bills are seldom improved
by submersion.
......A fellow remarked lately that h,
would like to know what there was abou
mush and milk that could bloat q man "
so soon. He said he could never eat more
than three or four quarts without feeling con
siderably swollen. Quite 'stonishing.
1.-THE clouds begin to break" said
Harriet, during yesterdays rain. She was
quite impatient for an opportunity to &C
shopping.
"Just so" was the answer, as the speaker
glanced from the window; they leak bat
enough to be sure"
......If the Old maids do not marry thi
year, whose fault will it be? We know O
some who remind us of drinking sour mill
out of q broken mouthed pitcher voice lik,
the sweet accents of scissor grinders shar
pener, and hair as red as our whiskers. Blu
we say to them it's leap year, don't despair.
1.-The Mount Gilead Sentinel rattle
gets the editor of the Messenger. The Sen
tinel says: The Messenger man says W
use an inferior quality of dog leg tobacco.
He's a competent witness on that point, O
we hrve kept him in that article ever sine
he came to town. Having had to buy 70
two, we couldn't afford to use the best, bu
if he'll quit begging from us, we'll try to i'm
prove our "cud."
~ H :"