The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1860-04-04
ACROOKED STICK.

MY sister Uranla was rs splendid a
critter rs YOU ever see, at eighteen or
twenty, n rael corn fed, hearty looking
gall Well, she was uncommon dainty,
and piaguy hard to please, and she fiirted
here, and Tilted there, until she kinder
cverstood her market. A rose don't last
forever, that's a fact. 1t is lovely whom
in the bud, or expandin', or in bloom, or
even full blown; but there is time for
perfection and decay, that can't be post
ponsd, no how you can fix it; the color
will fade, or wash out in the summer
showers, and then it troops with the
weight of its own beauty, and the wind
will deprive 1t, from time to time, of q
leaf, till its size and proportion IS dwi1
/ died down TO q mere anatomy; if not
plucked at the right time its never gath
cred at ALL There it hangs, pnin' on the
parent stock, while younger, and fresher,
ahd more attractive ones are chosen 10y
fel!ers TO put into their buzzums in pref
erenee to it, that in its day was far sTeet
err and loylicr than any Of them. This
was just the ease with "Rainy;" she woke
up one fine morning after the marriage of
/ her Youngest niece aud found she was an
old maid, and no mistake. Her vanity
and her glass had been deeeiyin' her for
ever SO long, without her knowing If, and
maxim her believe some false curIs she
ore looked so material no soul could tell
they weren't her own; that the little arti-
fetal color she gave to her check with
caInel's hair brush, was more delicate and
more lovely than the glow Of youth, and
that the dentist had improved mouth
that had always been unrivalled.
Well, to MY mind, looking glasses are
the greatest enemies ladies have; they
ought all to be broken to everlasin' smash.
It isn't that they are false, for they amt;
they will reflect the truth if they are al-
lowed. But, unfortunately, truth never
looks into hem. When a woman con
suits her glass, she wishes TO be pleased,
she wants to be fiattered, and to be put
on good terms with herself, so she treats
it as she would her lover; she goes up to
it all smiles, looking as amiable and as
beautiful as she can. She assumes the
most winning air; she gazos at The image
with all the affection she can call up; her
eyes beam with intelligence and with love,
and her lips appear all a woman could
wish, or a man covet. Wei, in course
the mirror gives back that false face TO its
owner, as it receives it; il amt fair there
fore, to blame it fol being onfuithful; but
as ladies can't us2 it without deceioin' Of
themselves, Why total abstinence from it
would be better. Now, people may de-
ceive themselves if they have a mind to,
but they can't 90 on for ever. Time will
tell tales. Whatever year n gail Is born
in, she has contemporaries; when she
looks at them and secs that they are age
ing, or the worst for wear, she tries to re-
call the days of her youth, and finds that
they are lost in the distance, and when
she sees her schoolfellows and playmatcs
married and parents themselves, all tie
glasses in the world fail, at last, to make
her believe she is still young
Well, the marriage of her niece startled
Urania, as a shadow does skittish horse.
She left the deep waters where the big
fish sport themselves, and threw her line
into the shallow oddies where the lnunows
are, and she hooked little Tim Dooley, a
tommy cod of fellow, that was only fit
for bait for something bigger and bet
ter. 1t was Impossible to look at the
critter without laughing. Poor thing, it
was hard work 10 fetch her up to the
scratch at last; it actiliy took three minis
ters and six bridesmaids to marry her.
She felt she had losin' voyage in life,
but she was clear grit, it dilni humble
her one mite or mossel, it only made her
more scorny t an ever, as if she defed all
the world, and dcspisei all it coall say.
| could see motion in her throat now
and then, rs if she lit in her breath and
swallowed her pride down. She actilly
held her head so high, when the minister
said to Dooley, "SaIute your bride" that
the critter looked up in despair, for be
couldn't reach her lips. Says 7, out cf
diyeltry, "Stand on chair. Tim" Lord
if you had seen her eyes, how they flash
ed fire Mt me, it would have astonished
YOU, | know. Age hadn't quenched that,
at any rate. To prevent folks from no
tclng how undefSlzeu ne was, she Just
bent down forward and kissed him.
Thinks to myself cold fellow, you have
had all the condescension you will ever
oct out of her. She has stopped to mar
ny you, and then stopped for you to salute
her, after this, look out for squalls, fer
there is tempestical time afore YOU
And so it turned out, he soon larned what
it was to live in house whore the hen
crows. ''Rainy," sails | to her ono day,
whea she had been given him . blowen
up, and was sending him off on some ar
rand or another, for she treate him,
poor wretch, as if he had been the cause
Of her disappoiutments, instead of the
plaster to heal them) -" Rainy" sais I,
IL always told you you carried too stiff
an upper lip, and that you would have to
| take a crooked stick at last" ''Well,"
sails she, "Eph, he amt the taIIest and
rcehst hushnnd in the world, but he is a
peoOerfid siytt better than none Sam
Slick.
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