The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1860-03-07
All sorts Of Faragr;s fRs.


LOLA MoNTEz ironically remarks to
Young men :-"You ought to know that
there are four things which always more
or less interest lady-a parrot, pea
cock, monkey, md n man; and the near
CT YOU come in uniting these about equally
in your character, the more you will be
loved. This is q cheap and excellent receipt
for making dandy, q creature which is
always an object of admiration to the Ia
dies"
a young lalv Of New ORGANS who
recently reformed a remarkable feat III
rowing, las been presented with beau
tifu! yawl. A smack would have been
more appropriate.
ONE ofthe Penobscot Indians recently
appealed to the Maine Legislature to build
new school house, and thus figuratively
described the old one :-"l he building has
become bald with age, and weeps now,
within and without, in every rain; and is
as ragged and tqttered rs dead poplar in
the woods"
WHEN Is a MANS BLOOD UP?-Ah!
it is the pale passions that are the fierce st
it is he violence of the chill that gives
tie measure OF tie fever. The fighting
boy Of our school always turned white
wien he went into pitched battle with
the bully OF some neighboring village;
but we knew what his boodess cheeks
meantime blood was all in lis stout heart
He was slight boy, and there WAS not
enough to redden his face and fill his
heart at once.
A man Of rank, hearing thnG two of
his female relations had quarrelied ask
ell
Did they call each other ugly?
No.
Well, well, I shall soon reconcile them
GENTLEMEN who smoke allege that it
makes til I'm calm and complaccnt. TLny
tell us that the more they fumo the less
they fret.
From the early proof sheets of forth
coming biCIIOHdtlN. VIC cAiiaCt luo ipi-
i, wing faceticus definition of the word,
mouth.-An instrument Of use to most
people in rendering ideas audible, and in
rendering yietuals in, be!
A PRINrER's ExcUsE.-A Y ritter ca /
ed at his printers and accused the com
poster of not having punctuated lis po-
EN-, when the typo earnestly replied, I'm
not a pointer, I'm 4 softer SIR
'AH,' said an Eng i,hmfn the other
day, 4 belong to a country upon which
tie sun never sets 'And |, said a yam
koe, belong to country of which there
can be no correct map-it grows so fas.
that surveyors can't keep up with it,
4 CONVENTION Of boomer damsels is
reported to have resolved that tLcy will
wear short dresses or nothing.
What an awful thing it would be if
they shouldn't wear short dresses
THE poet Gray once said, 4 have dis
covered thing very little known, which
is that in ones whole life, one can never
have more than single mother
Most persons prefer having their moth
ers married.
An Irishman once observed that mile
stones were kind enough to answer your
questions without giving you the trouble
to ask them.
From the Grave to the Crad,e:-A
rather queer incident happened at Laf-
ayette, Ind, the other day A lady re-
turning from funeral in a carriage gave
birth to fine stout boy.
Wanted, Yankee to get stone out of
a quarry; also to invent machine for the
same. This advertisement in p Newfoud-
land paper gives as correct and full a de-
lfnition of the modern Yankee as can be
male.