Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1860-03-27
THG COUNTER JUMPER

1hls, ladieS, gentlemen are not interested
IN him. i5 the model Counter Jumper" or
as he is sometimes f.c ,tiously desig1 ed The
cpsd -
He it is who measures tape by the yard or
inch; who In mild pleasing tone, or with an
emphatic and earnest appeal, earns his daily
bread By the sweat of his tongue, the flourish
of his yardstick, and his blunt pointed scissors
He talks calico, as Everett talks Washington;
spreads before the ladies the last new pattern
y. siik a. news-vender spreads befOle q his Gus
toner the last Pictorial Weekly Blatherskite
Mammoth.
The Model Dry Goods Clerk is an anomaly
IN 80 lar as relates 10 the mysterious methods
rnereoy upon within fraction of no salary at
all, ne continues to dress better than his EN-.
ployer, which he is compelled to do. A jour-
neyman dry goods clerk travels on his shane.
lie has unlimited supply Of CAB, brilliant i'm.
sgination, and face as impervious to shame
at being caught in business lie'' as a bar of
lead. His powers of persuasion are tremen-
dous, and his smiles is as fascinating az his
whiskers
The old race of clerks is fast diving out
passing away. Women are now the shop.
keepers. and the custodians of the ribbons and
millinery affairs
The awful whoppers, ''out Of whole cloth, -
which the model clerk, in tho retail line, is
compelled to invent, utter and pledge his
honor as true. arc incalculable. He is ut
times obliged to utter the most egregious of
Munchausens to effect the sale Of q yard of
slxpenny muslin, to smile blandly, and mur-
der and mangle truth while he SMILES in order
to cell skein of silk or a paper of pins If a
principal is responsible for the acts of his
agents. what fearful account the employer
OF q model clerk will have to balance in the
great hereafter.
The salary Of model clerk is not far from
seven dollars for first class clothing How he
ecconPllshes this seemingly impossible mathe-
naticai feat can never be satisfac torily ex-
rlained-by him.
He clothes himself in black and fine linen
and always has plentiful supply of small
change, chicken feed, as he terms it, in his
pocket.
The model clerk can sell damaged goods
equally as well. and at prices equally as exor-
Infant as he can goods which are perfectly
sound.
- What is it, madam ?" he murmur, con-
ndlngly, az he leans over the counter.
wish a pattern of Calico
What tint did you say?'
Oh, light blush"
Clerk turns to pile of prints on the back
eneli, Jerks out bolt of the desired color
gives III scientific flourish before il is brought
to the counter, and spreads it before the
shreWd gaze of his customer, who is an old
shopper.
There, madam, this is the only piece left
OUT OF ten cases. L assure you, madam, that if
we had twenty cases Of this pattern, they'd be
all gone before tomorrow night. You notice
how beautiful the pattern, how elegant The
VINE running irregulsrly, as it does, inter
mlDgles with the blush flower, ali? Oh. yes
warranted tn wash cOlOrs are fast ma'am. I
wouldn't think of Offering goods of this des
cTlptlOn which were not fast. We never mis-
represent our prints; we sell them as they are,
ana insist upon every one examining them
thoroughly Then, madam, allow me to hold
1t IN the proper light great deal depends
upon the manner in which a piece is ex-
amined."
- The price iS'' -
Really, msdam, we've been selling it at
eighteen cents, but as this is positively the last
piece (there were three cases of this old print
Under the counter) you shall have it at fifteen
IN cents was he utmost he b YER receive ,
and that allowed three cents profit per ward: ,
hfteen cents, ruinOus sacrifice; but then you
know we must clear our shelves, and bushes 8
Is so dull, scarcely anything doing (sold more
that day than he had any day during the year }
On l was going to mention Mrs. Stuyvesant
and Mrs Townsend of Fifth avenue, bought
the last piece and shared it, they were so de-
lighted with it. How much will / cut off:
better take the whole piece, ma am; never
have another opportunity like this; it's a
charming piece
The lady tries TO get a word in edgewise,
but In vain. Clerk knows his business thor
Oughly, and operates accordingly.
Customer objects to the vine, and Clerk
thereupOn argues upon the beauty of the flow
eIs and the texture of the article. At last,
after innumerable sugar-coated lies. exceed
ing the largest of Sinbad the Sailors, and o
profusicn of objections. doubts and &" beating
down OF the prices, the trade is completed
She has been there one hour and forty minutes,
and he has talked that length of time almost
continuously.
She has purchased one yard-price twelve
a1f 60
clerk induces the customer to make the extrav
ssant outlay of-perhaps one cent for skein
Illus it is that full grown man fritters
eVay the best part Of his existence in a situa-
ucn which woman alone should occupy