Litchfield enquirer., 1860-09-20


 her; then she thought the Doctor unnece
 sarily alarmed; but the remembrance of he
 mother, her brothers; and her sister, rushe
 upon her mind-she looked fairly at her ow !. symptoms, and felt that her doom wa
 sealed.
 The confusion, the rush of thought whic were incident to the first shock, soon passe l away, and Helen calmly set herself to exar inc her present position-and as the ScriK lures express it, "set her house in order. !, preparatory to the last great change. Th first thing was to review her past life Look ing back from among the shadows of deat which now surrounded her, how bright an , cheerful appeared her youth in the bosom c her fathers family! how sunny and ioyfu the first years of her married lifel how darl the clouds that had more recently overshad owed her! For this last who was to blame Her natural freedom from a selfjustifyin, spirit, together with the fearful thought, tha she was soon to appear before her final judge disposed her to condemn herself. Still jus tice asserted her right; and Helen was cou scious that to please her husband, and ren der him happy had been the first object 0 her heart. Yet notwithstanding this sh was willing to believe, that she had oftel given him just cause for displeasure. Witt intense anxiety she reviewed the last yea and hall, and asked hcSself, what she hac done for his happiness, while her affection for him had been dormant She could fine no special neglect of duty of which to accuse hcrself,-yet the remembrance of duties heartlessly performed give little satisfaction and to Helen the whole seemed dark, and troubled, and guilty dream. Now that she was awaking, it left most gloomy and pain. ful impression on the mind
 And while she had, in this unfeeling man. ner, been dischargng her conjugal duties, what had been Mir. Towards department towards her? The prospect of her own ap- preaching dissolution, produced on Helen's mind much the same effect that the death of her husband would have done His increas- ing gentleness, his tenderness, his delicacy and forebearance,-which had hitherto re- mained entirely unfelt and uunotced, came thronging on her memory,-and at once, the beloved of her youth, idol of her early we'd ded life was restored to her in all his perfec- tlon! Her heart swelled, and gusLed forth ln love, ill gratitude, and in penitence His recent letters were all brought forth, and re- perused, and all those expressions of love and tenderness, that had before fallen as on q rock, caused her heart to thrill with emotion. :" An" thought she, how constant has that heart been to me, in spite of all my coldness, my heartless indifference, and sometimes, 1 fear, my disdain!'
 For the first time since Mir. Towards de- parture from hone, did Helen feel pang on account of his absence, but now she felt her loneliness as in former days. How was she to endure the remainder of the tedious ses- sion of Congress? Alas, would she still be ae5pv aep to acldtses But notwithstanding this re-awakcned regret on account of her bus bands ahscnce-and the awful solemnity of her situation-how sweet did she find it again to love-love with tenderness and ar. dor!--and with fervent gratitude did sine raise her eyes and thoughts to Heaven, that her heart was aroused from its lethargy.
 Hcicn's next letter to Mir. Howard was very different from those which had preceded it. She did not, indeed, express in direct terms her new-found love but it's spirit brcatled in every line. Toward the close she mentioned having taken severe cold, and gave some mtimation of Dr. Miller's opinions as to the result. She subscribed hcrsclf--" your own truly grateful and affec- tonatc Helen.' This was the last letter she ever sent him. though not the last she wrote.
 Joy and grief contended for the mastery in the heart of Mir. Howard as he read this epistle; joy-exqusite and unutterable, that the affections of his wife were restored to him-for he knew her too we'll to have the shadow of doubt respecting her sincerity, and grief and alarm the most narrowing with regard to her health. He had strong CT proof of her indisposition and debility than any expressions made use of in the letter. The tremulousness of the hand that had writ ten it, was but too obvious. It was entirely different from Helen's neat and beautiful handwriting, when in usual health. On the instant he wrote to Dr.. Miller, to learn the worst he had to fear. Ten tedious days must pass before he could hope to receive an answer; for at that time the mails were con- veyed iu lumbering stage-coaches, and to a heart racked by anxiety, they seemed to travel at @ snail's pace.
 When Dr. Miller's letter arrived, it more than confirmed MT. Towards worst appre- tensions The doctor had actually begun to write before he received his friends letter It told him that Helen was undoubtedly in a confirmed hectic,--and that her life could not be protracted to many weeks.
 Mr. Towards resolutions was at once taken. He asked and obtained leave of ab sence from Congress; and after the unavoid able intervention of one day from the receipt of the Doctors letter, he commenced his homeward journey. Ample time had he tt reproach himself and everybody else, while seated in coach, the horses attached tt which seemed to him to be all the time in { leisurely walk. "Why had he trusted tt Helen's account of her own health? Why had he been so unexcusably negligent as no1 sooner to have written to Dr. Miller? Why did the doctor wait till the last possible mo meht before writing to him? Why had no MT. Atwood informed him of his daughter danger?" These together with othe thoughts, far more better and grievous, wer continually revolving in his mind.
 With regard to MT. Atwood and Dr. Mi Ter, the fact was, that they both knew tn frequency of Helen's letters to MT. Howard and had no idea of the degree of ignoranc } under which he Iabored, else they would eel tainly have given him the truth.
 ] Slow as MT. Towards progress was, con f pared with the present rate of locomotion, h . at lenpth reached the nlaca of his residence