The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1860-05-24
A wEIn-oRDERED FAMILY.

punishment to mel hope, also, in some
degree, to my entertainers The iron |
rule Of that house was, Ca place for eve |
rything and everything in its place" ! !
wasn't The disgrace my somewhat va
grant habits led me into there was dread
ful. The very first morning I opened |
Patorfamilias' newspaper, which was al
ways laid in one particular spot upon
the breakfast table, never to be violated
| by any hand but his There I stood,
with my back to the fire, coming the
outspreod sheet, and nodding a cheerful
| "good-morning' to my host when he en-
tered had the hardihood even to read
| to him Cout of his own paper) the last
Indian dispatoh--vory politely, as /
thought-and to request his assistance
/ to decipher the possible place intended
| by dozen .lotters which the telegraph
clerk appeared to have selected at ram
DOM To do him justice, he bore this
inroad on his rights with tolerablo out.
ward composurc; but I was formally
made aware on the FIRST opportunity, by
Mrs. p, Of the great outrage | had COM
Imittcd, and made to feel as uncomforta-
bic as deserved. Then / left my hand
kcrchief on tho drawing-room floor, one
glove on the library table, another in the
Igoverncss's parasol, (Which certainly
was not the place for it, and how it got
there l have no couception) and was for
mally presented with each article sepa-
.rately, and an account of its discovery,
in the presence Of the whole family as
sembled for dinner.
One day the whole household was un-
der strict cross-examination as to who
had come into the hall with dirty shoes.
I was the culprit of course, but I was
too great a coward to confess; besides
the lady knew perfectly we'll who it was,
but was polite enough TO entertain the
fiction that such conduct was impossible
in any well-bred person: it must have
been one of the children, or the house
maids, Of course; and the whole investi-
CATION was intended for my solemn
warning and improvement, just as they
used to whip little boy vicariously, to
strike terror into misbehaving little
princes.
Then the terrible punctualitY which
made slaves of all of us, and kept me
always afraid of being late for some
thing, as indeed / was once for dinner,
in spite Of all precautious--fou minutes
and a half exactly Shall I ever forget
it? If they only had had the charity to
sit down quietly without mc--if they
! had put me of with no soup, cold fish,
| and the last ragged cut of the mutton
|if they had sent me to bed without any
dinner lt all, as once happened to me
when l was a little boy, or inflicted up
on me any other reasonable and humane
| form of punishment; but no! there they
we're, all waiting for me in the drawing
room, all standing up, the door set wide
open, and the head of the family open
ling fire upon me at once, before [ was
well inside it, with "Now, Mr.. -,
| will you take in Mrs. P.?' OF course [
hammered and stammered over an apol-
| Iogy--"quite unintentional" and so
| forth "Oh, Of course, they knew it
must be quite uninteutioual--only I'm
scmi.whisper--"Mr. p, did not like
waiting for his dinner"
There was an abominable child, too
in that family, the very incarnation of
premature method and order. All the
other children had redeemiug points Of
carelessness and destructiveness about
them; and we soon established a sort of
free masonry among ourselves, as fell
low culprits, trying to keep each other
out of scrapes as much as possible; they
conveying to me private warnings as to
how soon the prayer-bell would ring in
the morning, and in how many minutes
the carriage would be at the door, and
furnishing me much valuable secret in
telligence ns TO the cnemy's weak points,
and the Interpretation Of the laws of
the Medes and Pcrsians to whom / was
in captivity; and 1 finding substitutes
for impOunded pencils, mending a bro
ken Cupid who carried the wax matches
in his quiver brushing the boys clothes
after birds nesting, "before mamma saw
them, and actually cutting up the rib
bon Of my eyo-glass into shoe-strings
for one young lady who was generally in
trouble on that score. But as to the imp
I speak Of he was irreproachable If II
left the door open, he got up and shut
Iit--not quietly, you understand, but Of
fciously and reproaohfully. If 1 took
down volume from its shelf and it left
my hand for one moment, if he could
get at it it was up in its place again be-
fore I knew what had become Of it,
took courage, one cold morning,
there being no one but he and I in the
room, to stir the fire, and put the po-
ker, when 1 had done with it, under
the CRATE, (Which take to be the natu-
raj place for a poker) when up jumps
! the well-behaved little monster, and ar
ranges it by rule and measure where he
has been told it ought to be- / take
credit to myself for very great forbear-
ance--he and 1 being alone-that !
checked an inclination to punch his
head with it. Is il oxousablo in any
rational beings to put themselves under
such life long penance as this, and to
bring up their children, and force the
unhappy stranger whom they get with
in their gates, to do likewise?- Black
woods Magazine.