Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1860-09-28

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| Where there's some kind lip to cheer Il!
| What Is home with none to meet?
| None to welcome none to meet US? o. 5
| Home IS sweet, and only sweet,
| Where there's one who loves to meet US. t
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Shanghai Chandler on Horseback.
Chandler Of the Adams Co. (Wis.) Ind
pandent, well known as eye Shanghai,
having been chosen delegate to the La Crosse
Convention, tells on his return how he per-
formed the trip: .,--~-4s--,..~ ..re 4
From Point Bluff to Lyndon station, it is
five miles. 1t so fell out that we journeyed
thence, afoot, on our way to La Crosse
Went to 7. Bluff with Bill Crosby and load
Of other christians, pnd then partook of the
lespita!ites OF !df. Bonnell, at the ferry, for
which We returned thanks and invited the
Bonnell family to come to our house /; and
then were ferried over the turbulent waters of
! old Wisconse, and directed by the deficient
and gentlemanly" ferryman where to turn,
whers to keep straight ahead. and where to
80 the bridge over, and turn the hill up We
trudged, stubbed, peggcd, and ploddcd along,
two miles; came to the Lemonweir bridge,
went it over, and near the fork o. the road,
found mare grazing. Concluded walking
was unconstitutional said to the mare, rub
bing our hands to hcr,-kJoh! .k'joh! kjoh I.
want some salt? The mare was tractablc.
Thought how we used to ride and guide the
colts in Deacon Chambers pasture,-have a
long slim, sleek smooth stick, and when we
wanted to gee," would punchify the colts
head over the left eye, and by the same token,
when twas "haw" we wanted, the right
cheek of the colt would be thumpified. Won
dered If 'twould be called ss-stealing if we,
being tired and respectable delegate, should
catchty the mare and cause her to carry us
mile OF the three between us and Lyndon /:
tho't we'd perhaps better borrow the mare /;
didn't know whose mare she was; SO we
sang: s.-... *...-. .'.
wit thou lend me thy mare to 80 mie!"
Imagined we heard somebody holler " Yaw p
"Nuf ced," said we; and proceeded to Jack
knife yard-stick about q feet long. Stuck
the stick down trousers-leg and up under
jacket, so as not to scarify the mare: then
went up as before, rubbing hands at her and
telling her "Kjoh! k,oh k'joh " and such
like hoss-talk. She was rery tractable mare.
and snuffed and I'd "salt" in language so
plain that any delegate might understand it.
We took the mare by the name, and lcaped
onto her back quicker than soda water: drew
the stick, and cssayed to guide the mare as
we used to guide the colts in the pasture
Mare seemed to resent the manner in which
she had been taken in, and commenced to
run like a racer. Tried to guide: she
wouldn't be guided--more we punchified her
left eye to make her take the right road, the
more she waXed vixcnish and hawcd square
off into the road. She was rery yixenish
mare; we had no idea size could run So IF
Jack Turner had been there, he ID have seen n
| long haired country editor wishing he'd
kept out.' It beats the devil how that &C.
centric mare did run! We didn't dare to
slide oil, because, you see, such hippodrome
maneuyer might entail broken head or neck
or thing; didn'twant to 60 crawling on hands
and knees into some yeOman's hutch and
confess we'd stoled a hoss and broken our
neck in the scrape Mare "fiewed and flew
ed and hewed,' faster than Tom O'Shantcr's
ever did; she was very eccentric mare; she
wouldn't keep the road, neither; went
switching round under Oak-trees and such,
like head -bumbcrs. We ethought Of Absalom.
how he got ierked up by the hair of his head
by having his balky mule chuck his neck
into the crotch Of an oak limb and leave him
hanging up to dry. Wondered if we shouldn't
meet with same calamity, and then have Bill
Spain come along and find us dangling, and
play the part of Joab by goading our side
with prick. Then thought of Mazeppa,
and while the mare ran like lightning, won
dcred whether She or we should die first
Thought of John Gilpin; thought of the
soldier who caught Tartar; thought of the
old picture of fiery seed snaking military
man by one foot hanging in stirrup; tho't
OF the way our Mustang tipped us over his
head into the Sheriff's wagon-wheel; tho't
OF home; of Hanchett's chances for the nom.
nation; and then drew very vivid picture
of Shanghai Chandler all smashed to a Jelly,
pretty dead, with torn clo'es, fooled out of
his vote in the Congressional Convention
Thought how Col. Atwood would probably
announce to the Convention that g the tail
end OF this Committee, tho delegate also from
Adams county, has met with an untimely
squash, and move that his colleague, Judge
Miner, be allowed toSSst his vote!" Carried.
unanimously 1t6eats all how we were Ia
ken in by the scampering powers OF that
vixenish mare; she strcaked it terribly
Didn't we cling to her name, though? At
length she came to very sandy hill, and the
way We welted her across the nose caused
her to hcaye up her head sayagely and half
halt, at which interesting period we ierked
the opportunity to slide off thwack her the
almightiest cut we could WELD, across the
sutss of her tail. Darn her skin we wanted
to see how she would look running witl.out q
Shanghai; but she didn't bulge two rods;
merely switched her tail rapidly, blew her
nostrils and upper lip furiously, and went to
grazing savagely. The senior editor spat or,
his hands, brushed mare-hairs from his
breeches legs, thanked Providence for his
safe delivery, and inquired of gentlemanly
lrishman how far twas to Lyndon. "Abodt
five Or six mile; but bless ye mon, yer goin'
the wrong way Turn square aboot now, an
yen get to Lyndon much quicker sure !'-
We then offered ourself the following resolu-
ton: ~scr-e9 oaft.t1 JJ.e i
Resolued, That the next time we help our
self to loose mare, we'll carry bride.
And adopted it unanimously Then wslk-
ed leisurely along, through a wild country,
"aboot five or six mile, !" Eliminating on the
uncertainties Of hoss-stealing, until We reach
-" when the sun was lew"
a clergyman observing poor man ia the
road breaking stones with pickax, and
kneeling to get at his work better, made this