Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1860-01-27
FACT, FUN AND FANCY.

- "That's n fame of mine,' as the bellows
said to the FIRE.
By winning souls to Christ we promote
the glory Of God and Of the church. Wise
= How to avoid drowning always keep
your head above water
Young man as you cow, SO shall you al
so reap.
AN exchange says lead is an animal pro
duction, because it is found in pigs.
Why are cashmere shawls like deaf per-
sons7 Because We cannot make them here.
- The greatest gluttons are those who feed
upon SANDER.
=" PRESUME you won't charge anything
for just remembering me, said one-legged
sailor to wooden-leg manufacturer.
IL KNOW every rock on the coast" cried
pilot. At that moment the ship struck,
when he exclaimed, "And that's one Of Them
WHAT is the difference between truth and
cggs2 Truth crushed to earth will rise again,
but eggs won't
is you wish to carry home a shirt full of
sore bones, just undertake to part an Irishman
and his wife when they are exchanging irons.
If you want enemies excel others if you
want friends, let them excel you--or at least
let them think SO.
A PRErrY SIAILE.-Seandal, like the Nile,
is fed by innumerable streams but il is ex-
tremely difficult to trace it to its source.
ma do you know why horses don't
wear hats? ?" ono, Johnny" Because ii
would give them hostile appearance"
- NieHr brings out stars as sorrow shows
us truths; we can never see the stars till we
can see little or naught else--and thus it is
with truth.
"A BOY was asked one day what made him
so dirty, and his reply was: I" ] am made so
they tell me, of the dust of the earth, and
reckon it's workin' out y
- When bank suspends in Australia, The
usual practice is to take the President TO the
nearest tree and serve him in the same manner.
The remedy is simple.
AN old topper was overheard one day, ad-
vising young man to get married " Because
then, my boy you'll have somebody TO pull of
your boots when You come home drunk"
A MAN who won't take paper because
he can borrow one has invented a machine
with which he can cook his dinner by the
smoke of his neighbours chimney
WHEN we see a man ostentatiously buy
ing books that be never intends to read, and
that he couldn't understand if he did, we are
reminded Of dsGe men huying tickets to ne
opera, and blind ones to picture galleries.
--LoRD Burleigh great English statesman
of the time of Queen Elizabeth, used to say,
81 will never trust any man whose religious
principles are not sound for he that is false
10 God can never be true man."
- DR.. Franklin said +" Ii is hard for an
empty bag TO stand upright" which, like
many other Of his sententious sayings, means
more than appears on the surface.
- JUsuoE.-Justice is itself the great stand
ing policy of civil society and any eminent
departure from it, under any circumstances,
lies under the suspicion of being no policy at
all Burke
- In describing spurious bill, a Bank Note
!, Dctector says In the counterfeit, which can
easily be distinguished, the female in the left
lower corner, has hey, while ID the genuine
she has a siekles.
= The servant of Prussian officer one day
met with crony, who inquired how he got
along with his fiery master. sob, excellent
w. answered the servant; "we live on very
friendly terms--every morning we beat each
others coats He takes his Off to be beaten,
and | keep mine on =
- Ir should be the aim of young men to get
in good society We do not mean the rich,
The proud, and fashionable, but the society Of
the wise, the intelligent and good
- Young America is here all over. Little
Tommy T, is five years old. He was in
u musing mood the Other day, and his mother
asked him what he was thinking about. "0h,''
said he, 81 was thinking of old times"
= AN exchange paper says that horse and
wagon were recently drowned In the Ohio
Now, isn't that awful What n tale the
tongue Of that wagon could have told had Il
been rescued And what "spokes' the wheels
would have altered Poor "felloes," they
are gone
- CRow on The Rev. Samuel Clawsoi
was an eloquent Methodist preacher. He ono
was speaking to Virginia congregation, whel
stout, rough virginian rose in the audience
raised lls arms, clappcd them to his sides, ant
crowed like rooster. Clawson fixed tina
strange Hcrce-looking eye Of his upon him an,
said
Grow again, you rooster Of he'll
shouldn't wonder il God Almighty woul'
transform your mouth into roosiei's sill, am
drive Il East in the massey wall of black damna
ton, aud there cause you 70 flap your inferna
wings 70 an eternity. Vow, crow egain Yc
rooster Of hell.