The Council Bluffs nonpareil. [volume] (Council Bluffs [Iowa]) 1857-1867, 1860-04-14
ANOTHER YANKEE Trick.

OAlUKUA4, AFhlL l
ANOTHER YANKEE TRICK.
| aThe critter loves me! know she love-
me.,' said Jonathan Doubkins. as hs sa
upon the cornGeld fence, meditating OF
the courses Of his true love, that it wal
running Just 40 Shakespeare said it did
rather roughly- "If Sske Peabody hal
taken shine to that gawky long sneaked
stamerin' shy critter Gusset, just 'eause
he'sa city Teller, she amt the gal ! tool
her, ,fsrtbat's sartin. No! it's tho old folks;
dars their ugly pictnrs +! old Mrs. Peabody
al ess was highferlutin' 'critter, full Of bic
notions and tho old mans a regular soft
head, driv about by his wife, just AZ our
old one. eyed, rooster is drove about by oul
eantankcrous Eve toed Dolkin hen. But
if l don't spile his fun, my name Amt JON
athan. Pm goin' down to the city BY
RAILROAD next week and when como back
wake snakes that's all" go
| The above soliloquy may serve to give
| the reader some slight idea of the land in
the pleasant rustic village where the speaker
reeiles.
Mr.. Jonathan Doubkins was . young
farmer, we'll to do in the world, and look
ing out for wife, and had been paying his
daughter of Deacon Elderbsry Peabody, Of
that ilk, with q fair prospect Of success,
when city acquaintance Of the Peabody's,
MIR. Cornelius Gssset, who kept retail
dry goods shop in Hanover street, Boston,
sud denly nado his appearance in the field
and commenced the cutting out game
Dazzled with the prospect OF becoming q
gentleman's wife, and pestered by the i'm
per,unities Of her aspiring mamma, the vii.
lage beauty had begun to waver, when her
old lover determined upon last and bold
stroke to foil his rival. He went to the city
and retarned ; of his business be said moth.
ing, not even to pumpkin aunt who kept
house for him. lie went not near the Pea
body's-but labored away in bis cornfeld,
patiently awaiting the result OF his nachi-
nations.
The next dav, Mr.. Gusset was seated
with the old folks and their daughcer, in
the best room of the Peabody mansion,
chattering rs pleasantly as may be, when
the door opened and in rushed very dirty
and furious Irish woman.
els it there ye are, Mr.. Cornelius Gusset
como out of that, before fetch ye, ye spal-
peen! IL it this ye promised me before the
praste, 70 hathen .nager Runnin away
from me and the children-forsakin' your
lawful welded wife an runnin' aflher the
Yankee gals, ye conGdentiap- ~
"Woman, there must be some mistake
here" stammered Gusset, taken oil aback
by this charge.
"Divil bit of mistake, ye sarpint Oh,
wirra wirra was it for the likes of ye
that | sacked little Dennis McCarthy-who
loved the ground trod on, and all because
70 promised to make lady Of me-ye dir
thy thafe o. the wurruld? Will ye come
along to the railroad station, where left
little Patrick, because he was too sick wild
the small pox to come any furder, or will
ye wait till drag ye?" ...F #a.rs..
"Go-go-along." gasped Gusses ego
and I'll follow you."
He thought it best to temporize.
81 give ye ten minutes" said the virago
"If ys amt there, it's me cousin, Mr.. Thad-
dey Mulsruddery, will be af,her ye, ye
thafe." ... ..
And away went this unbidden guest.
Mr.. Gusset was then engaged in stam-
mcring out a denial of all knowledge OF the
yirago. when the parlor door again opened,
and 4 little black eyed, hatched faced wo-
man 10 fasby silk gown and cap with
masy ribbons perched upon the top Of her
besd, invaded the sanctity of the parlor.
sis be bere7 7' she cried in decided
Frcne,, accent. Thon che added with a
.crenm. ahh. 1on dieu! le VOLTA! Zare he
Is. Traitrc! monster Vat for you run
away from me? Dis two, tree years
M: sra see you nevairs, and my heart
brok very b.,d entirely"
Who are ycu!" cried Gusset, his eyes
,tr.inine out of sis head, and shives.ns
from head to foot.
g He asks me who I am. 0, you var
re.pectable old gentlehomme! hear vat he
ask. Who am, pe1fde! ah!-l am your
wife! !" ..
81 never saw you 'fore-so help me
Bob % cried Gusset energetically.
aDon't you swear!" said old Deacon
Peabody; "if you do III kick you into fits
pll have no profnne or vulgar language IN
my house," ;,
40, bless you, bless you, respectable old
man. Tell him he must come VIZ me-tell
him % Sobs interrupted her utterancc.
aIt's pesky bad business" said the Dea-
con, chnfng with unwonted fire. "Gusset,
you IooStAs
Take care, Deacon Peabody - take
carl. - said the unfortunate op-keeper.
III remarked you was rascal Gusset,
You have gone and married two wives, and
tha. 'ere's fat burglary, If know anything
abu. the Revised Statoots." ,s
"Two wives ?" shrieked the French NO.
man.
oHalf dozen, for aught i know to thu
contrary" said the Deacon. SNOW yor
clear out Of my house; go away to the sta
tiop, and clear into Boston. ! won't have
nothing more to do with you."
GBut, Deacon, hear me-"
al don't want to hear ye, ye sarpint,'
cried the Deacon, stopping his ears will
his hands. "MarryiDg two wives, ant
comm a courtin' third. Go loDg-cleal
out" >.
mt in " ord for the culprit, was silenced
susan turned from him in horror. In des
par be fled to tie railway station, hotl.
pursued by the clan. orous and indignan
French woman. :,
That afternoon, as Miss Suscn Pcabod.
was iwa,king toward the village, sse wa
overtaken by Mr.. Jonathan Doubkins
dressed 10 his best, and driving his fas
going horse before his Sunday. 60 TO meet
ius chaise. lie Jeincd up aud accostes
her. .
sHallo, Suke. get in and take ride!''
"Don't keer if do, Jonathan" replied
the young lady accepting the profered seat
"I shy, you," said Jonathan, grinning
" that 'ere city feller's turned out a poot.
pup, amt he 2"
"lt's dreadful, If it's true" replied th
young lady. :.
"You had narrer escape, didn't ye:'
pursued the old lover. "But he warn
nsver of no account, anyhow. What do th
folks think about it %
"Thcy hain't said q word since he cleare'
out"
''Forsos that night rode you home from
singing school ?" asked Jonathan, suddenl
branching OF.
"No, / ain't," replied the young lady
blushins and smiling at the same time.
Remember them appleS l gin you ?o