The weekly pioneer and Democrat. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. Territory) 1855-1865, 1860-04-27
WOman's Capacity for Friendship.


We solemly believe TO record an item of
our creed once more) that there is no such
unselfsh devotion in the world, of one human
being to another, as that of woman in
friendship-either for one of her own sex or
one of ours, though it is likelier to be true
of the latter. But it is as we'll to hear what
acoman herself has to say about it, and we
shall at least contribute to the knowledge
on this "vexed question" by quoting what
"Mrs Muloch" thinks. In her plain spoken
book, "a Woman's thoughts about Wo-
men) she thus discourses:
"From our very peculiarities of tempera-
ment, women's friendships are rarely or new
er so firm, so just, or so enduring, as those
of men-when you can find them. Damon
and Pythias, Orestes and Pyades, Brutus
and Cassius-last and loveliest, David and
Jonathan, are pictures unmatched by any
from our sex, down even to the far famed
ladies of Llangollen. When such bond
really does exist, from its exception to gen.
eral masculine idiosyncrasies- especially the
enormous absorption in and devotion to
number one-from its total absence of sem
timentality, its undemonstrativeness, depth,
and power, a friendship between two men
is higher thing than between two women
hay, one of the highest and noblest sights
in the whole world. Precisely as were COM
parsons not as foolish as they are odious, a
truely good man, from the larger capacities
of male nature both for virtue and vice, is,
in one sense, more good than any good wo-
man. But this question leave to contro-
versalists, who enjoy breaking their own
heads, or one another's over a bone Of con-
tention which is usually not worth picking
after all.
"Yet, though dissenting from much of the
romance talked about female friendships, be-
lieving that two-thirds of them spring from
mere idleness, or from that besoin daimler
which, for want of natural domestic ties,
makes this one temporary substitute,
Heaven forbid should malign my sex as to
say they are incapable of an emotion which,
in its right form and place, constitutes the
strength, help and sweetness of many, many
lives and the more so because it is one of
the first sweetnesses we know.
Probably there are few women who have
not had some first friendship, as delicious
and almost as passionate as first love. 1t
may not last-it seldom does but at the
time it is one of the purest, most elt.forget-
full, and self-denying attachments that the
human heart can experience with many,
the nearest approximation to that feeling
called love-I mean love in its highest form,
apart from all selfishness and sensuOusness
which in all their after life they will ever
know. This girlsh friendship, however
fleeing in its character, and romantic, even
silly, in its manifestations, let us take heed
how we make light of, lest we be hooking
at things more sacred than are aware.
"And yet. it is not the real thing--not
FRIENDSHIP, but rather kind of foreshadow-
ing of love; as jealous, as exacting, as
unreasoning-as wildly happy and supremely
miserable; ridiculously so to looker-on
but to the parties concerned, as vivid and
sincere as any after-passion into which the
girl may fall for the time being, perhaps
long after, coIoring all her world. Yet it is
but dream, to melt away like dream
when love appears or if it then wishes to
keep up its vitality at all, it must change
its character, temper its exactions, resign its
rights.
Love is sweet,
Given or returned
and so is friendship; when, be it ever SC
infnitesimal in quantity, its quality is una
dulterated, springing, as [ repeat, women'E
friendship almost always does spring, out o.
that one idead impulsiveness, often wrong
headed, but rarely evil-hearted, which makes
us at once so charming and so troublesome
and which, l fear, never will be got out o.
us till we cease to be women, and become
what men sometimes call us-and they vel
know they give us but too much need to b.
angels.
Eyes, with all our folly, we are not false
not even when Lavinia Smith adores with
all her innocent soul the condescending &c,
lestia Jones, though meeting twenty year,
after as fat Mrs. Brown and vulgar Mrs
Green, they may with difficulty remembe
one another's Christian names; not whel
Bessy Thompson, blessed with three partic
ularly nice brothers, owns likewise thre
times three dearest friends, who honestl..
persuade themselves and her that they cam
only to see dear Bessy; nevertheless, tn
fondness is real enough to outlast man.
bothers caused by said brothers, or even I