Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1860-02-21
Benis shted Ashtabulian Goes to See Lola
MoHtPZ.
From the Cleveland Herald


melancholy looking figure took the Lake
Shore cars tor home last evening. Originally,
he had evidently been green enough to deceive
hungry cow into the belief that he was good
to eat, but the hand of man, or woman had
illuminated him with rainbow hues One eve
had closed for the time on terrestrial matters
the last object 1t had seen having been multi
tudinOuS stars. The classic nose had expand
ed In dimensions, and sundry scratches orna-
mented the expressive face. In the language
of Colonel Macbeth. his clothes were a sorry
sight The story of his troubles was affecting
and made us blow our nose repeatedly Clark
Warren could scarcely prevent himself from
falling IN Master Depot Robinson 5 arms at the
time. Nothing prevented that catastrophe but
the fact that neither of them WAS there
Ihe happy innocent was benighted Ashta-
bullan- He came up yesterday morning to
make some ''dicker' and see the sights Heard
Lola Montez was in town. Had ''hearn tell of
her afore. Would like to see her Fell in
with nice young man, and told him that he
should. Nice young man shook his hand cor
daily and said Lucky man that you are, 1
am her private secretary. Name of Barnes
You shall see her, and that right off. Let's
drink Took drink. Went up town. Took
two or three drinks with nice young man.
Came to a saloon, and was told Lola was
around. Private secretary said Lola was on
the moral dodge" but that she was IAN old
rip-snorter on the sly and had come to the
saloon for bit of fun. Was introduced 10 a
dasning gal, who had a cigar in her mouth and
WHISKY punch IN her hand. She slapped him
on the back: Said he was jolly green old
PUCK, and asked his mothers health. Told
her she was we'll, and then at the sunnossd
Lola's suggestion, they drank to the Happiness,
OF the maternal parient. Lola became yery
friendly, and the Ashtabulian's ewes snsnnea
like the whisk of fre-fys tail of dim eve.
ming Took another drink. Lola executed a
pas SsHI. ending in polka which astopisbed
Ashtabulian, who had never before taken tha
floor. Ashtabulian getting over head and ears
IN love Took another drink all round lois
pumped down in his lap, and said be IooL "a
just like her dear old King of Baryady. Pnt
her arms around his neck and embraced him
afectionately: Ashtabuly felt his head swim
around and his heart executing a double shut.
ne oeneatn his weskit. The charming
L" countess put her hand on the aforeso;S
"weskit' to feel the humping. Love nal
Ashtabuly thirsty, and he ordered dr;nts III
round Put his hand in his '.yeskit, fnr FL
V he had snugly slowed there-but il had sed
Bar tender derisively incredulous, and doubt
Ell the existence Of the alleged piece of vain.
able engraving. Ashtabuia appealed to the
supposed Lola. She applied the tin Of her
thumb to the tip of her nose, and expanded
her digits like q fan. Ashtabula began -
smell large mice, when she spoiled his smell.
ing by delivering a tremendous lone, two, - ON
his ''olfsctory, seriously damaging that i'm
portant organ This she followed up by sud
den extension of her right arm which efected
a remarkable .'bunging up of his left peeper
Ashtabula began to think he wasn't wanted
and prepared TO leave. His entertainers acted
on the advice to welcome the coming, speed
the parting guest, by kicking him out OF
doors. Concluded that the private secretary
was "naean skunk" and Lola mo better
than she should e,"-wise conclusion. Re.
solyed to return to Ashtabula ut once
We advised a consultation with the police
but our advice was declined with a melanc holy
shake of the head. Il aint going to face them
cusses again. tell you. I'm going home, Lor'
If my Msria hears tell IF this, shall catch il.
We asked who Maria was He said she vas
MS ''Oid woman" We hope, for his sake, that
Maria don't gee the Herald. If she does it will
60 hard with him. His hair looked badly in
want Of oombing. She win probably comb il
with milking stool. Alas poor Ashtabuly