Cincinnati daily press. [volume] (Cincinnati [Ohio]) 1860-1862, 1860-10-29
YANITY.FAIRIsMs-

From the last issue of VANITY Fair we take
number of its funniana, which, though not
remarkably clever or very original, are as
jokes go nowadays, not all in vain, but
very fair:
Coon FOR LIFT-A lead-stone.
OUR DUTCH FRIENDS OPINION.
Old Crossbones was angry, and asked with a frown,
- are tailors not men, then, in fine?'
Our petch rlend Withdrew his long pipe from his
And slowly gave uttepnce to--"Nein.n
WOMAN OF SAME-ARIA-Young lady who
had but one song. -"
"HALF THE WOMEN HAVE FALSE Ham,
Well-shouldn't fairies wear peri-wigs.
PoPE's.ADvIoE TO THE NEW WORKERS.
Not to, add -mire s the only art know
10 make the streets clean, and to keep them So
Poor KENTUoKY.-Cassius NJ. CLAW. saws
an exchange paper, who has been hard at
work stumping for 'Old Aben throuOhont
the West for the past three months, proposes
going home to Kentucky and performing the
same righteous work among the slavehold-
ers.
..Imperious Cesar, dead and turned to Clay
Might stop q hole to keep the wind away:"
Strange If the earth which kept the world in awe
Should serve to stop some fierce opponents 5 Jaw
SAD.-Our prose contributor has been fall
ing in love with six-foot beauty--a real
Venus of Milo "a splendid creature between
you and us and finds it hard work to
make the poetry come. But he has originated
the following
81 cooked my hat athwart my head,
II leaned nay cane against the wall
lis better to have loved and lost, .....
Ihan never to have loved TALL
SETTLED BY AvowAL. - Several of our
contemporaries are needlessly agitating them
selvesiabout the consumption Of coffee being
greater than its production--all speculation1
Vanity Fair recommends them, however
to keep up the excitement, for the more we
talk about Coffee the less we'll talk about
Cuifee, and the more we owe for Coffee the
less will U take Cuffee for a subject of con-
veIsation.
A VOICE FROM REMOTE ANT1oU1TY.-Tbat
peripatetic being enshrined in the hearts of
all ladies of certain age 1--WE refer to the
census-takerl has come upon man ont
West, who is without doubt, the Oldest per-
R6Il eKtant in this country. As proof of his
Oaereme age it is stated that he remembers
time when the New York Herald was con-
sidered a veracious sheet
FROM OUR BAD MAN.-What is the asso-
citation between pocket-handkerchief and
the inhabitants of Nova Scotia? Blew
Noses-of course.
CLEANED OUT--Uncle Sam, when he shall
have been drained by the Administrator.
and Seward by Republicans.
: PoLITIcAL.--The dry-docks on the eastside
of the city are to be abolished by the prand
Union party, because they are sectional.
( The FIRST DANCE AT THE PRINCES BALL
A Break Down. ~ N-''T. -'-- ,
, We observe new paper extensively ad-
vertised of late called The Vide World
We presume this just-born journal is thus
named to distinguish it at once from the ex-
ceedingly narrow World already in exist
ence. -rr
To ADvERTrsERs.-We see no end of ad-
vertisements from "a Business man with n
small Capital" but prefer waiting for small
man with Capital Business before we un-
dertake to "go in."
BARNUMs LAST REwARD-For the man
who admits that he wasn't offered ticket
to the Renfrew Ball.
"PRoUD AND AMBITIOUS TRrBUNEl"--Not
content with treading the path to fame, the
Tribune, determined TO be the AdmirahIe
Crichton of the Metropolis. has Obtained
from Horace another Ode on Douglas; lit is
evident they owed him for it) which con-
cludes thus:
"There's no use
h. II doing sGns q any ~ thing about that hoss,
That's the kind of poetry which "never
dize."
CoLoR OF THE SHEEP THAT WAS DYED IN
THE WooL.-Ultra-merin-
HAIR SPLITTING VS.. RAIL SPLIrTING.-In
personal description given by Western
editor, we have the following statement
with regard to Abraham Lincoln:
His hair is black, without any touch of
gray, and worn in lawyer-like, careless
way.n
The poetry of this is but ill-concealed by
the typographical arrangement, which may
slightly smother, but does not kill it; while
the expression, "lawyer-like," applied to
hair, suggests an arrangement of that fibrous
in such fashion as to have it
handy for splitting, a process at which law
yers are generally considered to be expert.