Delaware inquirer. (Wilmington, Del.) 1859-18??, 1860-03-10


The Yankee traveller who saw the live Hoo
sicr, has again written 10 his mother giving
his experience as follows:
Western people are death on etiquette. You
can't tell a man he lies here without fighting.
few days ago man was telling a pretty
large story, in my hearing.
Says l, Stranger, that's whopper,'
Says he, Lay there, stranger"
And in less than no time | found myself
sprawling in the ditch
At another time, says to man never see
afore, as a woman passed -
THAT isn't specimen of your Western wo-
men is it?'
Says he aYou're afeard Of the fever and
ager, stranger, amt your"
Very much, says !.
"well," says he, 'that was my wife, and il
YOU don't apologize in two minutes, by the
honor of gentleman swear to you that these
| two pistols shall cure you of the disorder en-
tirely So don't fear stranger
So politely apologised. admire the Wes-
tern country very much, but darn me if can
stand so much etiquette it always takes me un-
awares.
| A friend tells good story of Old Hays,
| when he was crier of the Court of Sessions.
| The room was usually warm, and he was
| very apt in the afternoon TO drop away into Il
| doze. On one occasion, while the Recorder
was charging jury, the old man snored quite
audibly. An officer Immediately whispered in
his ear.
| Uncle Jacob, same one is snoring, and dis
turbing the court.
Tn Jumped Hays, and with his stentorian
| lungs cried ont T.
Silence, there must be no snoaring in
court
And then turning to the recorder, he said
you can go on now, without Interruption
/ The story is sometimes told OF him, that on
being awakened one day by peal of thunder
| he cried out, Silence
YANKEE START ron HEAvEN.-rhe following
business view of religious values will rot be
amss in statistics "a pew is for sale in the
meeting house of the first parish of Amherst
/ The man that owns the pew owns the right OF
| space Just as long as the pew is, from the bot
/ tom of the meeting house to the top or root,
and he can go as much higher as he can get
| If man buy my pew, and sitin it on sundays
and repent and be good man, be VIII go to
| heaven, if God lets him. Let man start from
the right place do right, and he will go to heaven
at last; and my pew is as good place to start
from as any pew in the meeting house.
| The BEAUTY OF TRuTH.-Truth is always con-
| sistent with itself, and needs nothing to hold it
| out; ii is always near, at hand, and sits upon
your lips, and is ready to drop out before you
| are aware; whereas lie is troublesome, and
sets mans invention on the rack and one
trick needs IL great many more to make 1t good
| Truth can live in all regions, flourish in all
| soils, and become naturalized in all climes.
A Short Sermon.--An old preacher once
took for his TEXT
aAdam, where art thou2p and divided his
subject into three parts.
lst-All men are somewhere.
2d-Some men are where they ought to
| be.
3d-Unless they take care they will soon find
themselves where they would rather not be.
81 can't stand this" exclaimed good house
wife to Connecticut redlar; didn't find q
word of fault with your sassafras nutmegs,
cause knowed YOU conldn't afford real 'uns 50
cheap--and there was some spicy taste TO ems
but the last YOU sold me was made out OF whuf
oak, declare, that's a lcctle too bad, by q
d,trad sight"
"llcres yorr money, dot Now, tell Inc
why your sroundrelv master wrote me cgl-
teen letters about that contemplate sum said
an cxaspcrated debtor " I'm sufP, sir, can
ten, sir; but You'll excuse me, sir tlnk i
were because seventeen letters didn't irlcA
i'll
4 gentleman was promenading fashionable
street with q bright little boy at his side, when
the little fellow called out, g Oh pa there goes
an editori Hush SON. said the father
don't make fun of the poor man--God only
knows what you may come to yet.
housemaid, who was sent TO call a gen
tleman to dinner, found him engaged in using
/ - - In al
the lady of the house as the servant returned.
eyes, ma'am, directly was the reply, he's
just sharpening his teeth
my dear man, said doctor to his pa
tient, 6 ! am truly gratificd TO see yon yet in
life. AT my last visit yesterday, you know
that told you You had only sixteen hours 10
live eyes doctor, you did but ! did not
take the dose you left me-
4 robust countryman, meeting physician,
ran to hide himself behind wall. Being as
ked the cause, he replied, it is so long since
have been sick that am ashamed to look a
physician in the face
Wife, don't see for my part how they send
letters on them ere wires without tedrni EN-
all to bits
La me, they don't send the paper; they Just
send the writing in fluid state
Why is it, asked Frenchman ola Switzer,
that you Swiss always fight for money, while
we French only fight for honor" Il suppose,
said the Swtzer, that each fight for what they
most lack
Father, are there any boys in Congress q
No. my son-why do you ask that question 2
Because the papers said the other day that
the members kicked Mr.. Sickle's BWout OF the
house,
GRAND JuniEs IN BAD ODon--A resolution
in favor of SO amending the constitution of
Wisconsin, as to permit the abolition Of the
Grand Jury SYSTEM has passed the Senate OF
that State by large majority.
G say, Tom, can't tell how you sleep O.
nights, owing such sight O. money AS you
does Well jack" was the answer, il
them sleeps AS owes money to, can sleep all
right"
An old fogy' in New Hampshire was recent
IL overtaken by train Of thought Through
skilful medical treatment it is hoped he may
survive the shock.
An eastern editor, 10 an obituary on a young
lady who bad recently died, closed by saying
She had an amiable temper, and was uncom-
monty fond OF ice cream and other; delicncies.
Mrs. Darlington says, that nothing despises
her SO much as to see how people profess to eg-