The Hillsborough recorder. [volume] (Hillsborough, N.C.) 1820-1879, 1860-11-21
THIs FOR THAT.
BY THoRNBERRy.

Mr.. Parks aud his vile were AT tea. He
had returned home with fresh idea on his
mind, to which be finally gave vent thus.
.My duck, have made an investment in
a lottery speculation"
a lottery" she cried cantemptuously.
snow Nh. Parks, why didn't Won toss your
money into the river. You know you will
gain as much one way as the other. Well,
fool and his money are soon parted."
al know but as have the tickets, why
not hope 70 draw prize :"
II yon draw prize, Mr.. Packs, shall
have greater one y
"Why, my duck"
Because | shall have an immense sur,
prise"
Very good-but here are the tickets.
Nos. 10 aud Ss-which will you take I'll
give YOU tile choice
IF get my fingers on them. I'll use them
for lamp hghter-such waste Of money,
Mr.. Parks"
Come come! Choose Is or 5ss"
"Weli, Is. Though il is all nonsense,
and Ill give all draw to the missionaries. "
do what you please with your prize, my
dear. Don't lose the ticket, for it NAV win
enough to buy farm. The drawing will
come of in ten days. As for nine expect
a thousand, at least"
There the matter rested until ten days had
passed by, and then Mr.. Parks went home
quite early one evening and placed printed
circular on his wife's lap.
Ho! hoi" SAID he, swapping his finger;
there's what your ticket has gained for
you. Read"
She did. No. is had drawn $1,000. Mrs
Parks began TO open her blue eyes very wide
and to trembie all over.
"What do you say 10 that. my duck"
ais it true: Is il now:"
What if it iss II will not do you any
good.'
How's that, Mr.. Parkss'
Because you promised to give all your
prize to the missionaries"
"0h yes bat never thought-the ticket
well, the fact is, MIR. Parks, need thai
money-the house requires new furniture
we haven't given a party this year. Oh
won't it be delightful to"
"Wait bit, my love-" said Mr.. Parks.
Do you approve Of lotteries :"
Yes, that il when they draw me prizes
like this. Mr.. Parks, We need 50 many
thtngs never missed before
"Of course. But think must explain.
My ticket drew blank, and 50 did yours"
What Why here is the printed circular,
Mr.. Parks
"True; I had il printed to try your
nerves, my duck. It's all joke"
Then be laughed, the raifiani All the
dreams Of Mrs. Parks didn't amount 10
puff Of wind.
About month after that abominable joke
Mr. Parks received letter written 10
most lovely hand, and a strange one 10 him.
The letter informed him that he had better
look sharply after bis handsome wife. A
deep sympathy prompted the unknown wri-
ter to tell him tkst certain Mr.. Cotton went
to see Mrs. Parks very often. and had been
seen to kiss lady in the parlor.
Kiss lady! What lady!
The question made Mr.. Parks clench hi.
fists, and grind his teeth with spasmodic
rage. lie controlled his rage and read more.
I" Go home at 5 o'clock Tomorrow. and you
viii find Mr. Cotton there" read the letter.
Thstetening. Mr.. Parks walked on thorns;
that night his dreams were bad. The next
day BE bought cowhde and grinaed fero.
ciOusly as he logged bale Of dry good.,
jus, to get his hand in for the unmereiful
thrashing Or Colton--lhe scoundrel.
At quarter Of o'clock be hid the cow
hide in his ecat-tail pockets, and started for
home.
As the eow-hide Nss new and elastic, il 1
peeped from be pocket, and little boys made |
Fun Of HIM. This only iniuriated Mr. PARKS, 1
and he gnashed his teeth as he arrived be-
fore his house in time 10 see Mr.. Cotton 90.
ing in. lie saw him enter the patlor, aud
was after him ike a bison. As lie entered
the parlor, be shouted
"Ylllsin monster | am at hand TO give
you red hot jacket"
Dat came the cow-hide, and Mr.. Cotton
ran around tie centre table with Mr. Parks
cutting Il him saSagely.
+" Let ny husband alone stop, say !" cri-
> sharp voice.
Mr. Parks paused he looked for the own.
er Of the voice, and beheld Nc. COlions
wife.
What doe. this mean !" demanded Mr.
Parks, showing the Anonymous letter.
Il means. said Mrs Parks, entering the
parlOr. " that wanted 70 try your nerves. |
wrote that letter. You see, ms dear, ]
don. approve Of lottery tickets thai draw 10
prizes. - take this for that. III. Parks.
add never play tricks o. your wife again"
Mr.. Parks thinks his wife tired lis
nerves too severely. but didn't ssy -, he
was 30 glad il was JOKE.
.~----~1~-~1~>~,S.~1~>
a shopkeeper purchased 81 an Irish 70.
man quantity Il batter, the Jumps d ahich.
foe pounds. we're wegbei in tie