The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1860-07-12
From the La Sale Press.
4 Short Sermon to the s'DOuglas Worship.
peis.s


4 Short Sermon to the ..DousIas Worsbip-
pess."
ny wuANa- DOODLE.
And devout men carried Stephen 10 his burial, and
made great amentation over him.-Act.. viii a.
My dear Douglas brethren II intend
to talk to you at this time about the folly
and sinfulncss Of wcrshippiug man. The
heather bow down to images of wood and
stone, and some worship unclean beasts,
while others bow in humble alteration
even to kiss a great toe. But we Of this
generation have been guilty of the mean
est idolatry of all in worshipping a little
lump of corrupt flesh aud blood, called
Stephen, now defunct. A few weeks
ago, when we ladened our vessels with
rum and whlskcy for our brethren, who
were sent as missionaries to the Port cf
Charleston, in tho foreign laad of South
Carolina, to preach tho gospel Of Dred
Scott and Popular Sovereignty, and gave
them gold and silver wherewith to buy
their bread and meat, our departed friend
was full of promise, and high up-lifted
as the god of Democracy, and all who
would fall down and worship him should
have their reward. But, alas our breth-
ren have returned to US with nothing but
his unseemly carcass. "And devout
men carried Stephen to his burial, and
made great lamentation over him"
Aud it came to pass, when our chief
priests and elders were gathered togeth-
er in Convention at Charleston, that
many of the heather of that region
would not fall down and worship our
golden calf And wo said unto them
that they were wrong; that the golden
calf would grant them many indulgen-
cies he would give them Bourbon whis.
key, applejack and red eye as beverages,
and had promised nine hundred aud nine.
ty-nine thousand foreign missions, post
Offices and custom houses, and to take
five hundred old fogies into his cabinet.
But all this would not avail. Nary a
bowel of compassion could be moved with
in them, and therefore our brethren re-
turned unto us. "And devout men car
ried Stephen to his burial, and made
great lam entation over him"
And the disciples of Stephen spake
unto them saying, that they did not care
whether niggers were voted upside down,
or downsidc up, it made no difference
But they were rebellious, and declared
that we must get the niger out Of tie
fence and protect him in the territories
where there are no territories ; but we
couldn't do it. We referred them to
Freeport, where Stephen spake Of "un'
friendly legislation but they didn't care
red for the Police magistrate of the
territories, but would pasture their mig
ger there, on uncle Sans farm. They
wouldn't let US put fence of unfriendly
kgd9da; a;sgfse'Wad tah,eggv. end hsee;"se'vs
waxed with wrath, and Stephen gave up
the ghost "And devout men carried
Stephen to his burial, and made great
lamentation over him.
In vain our brethren promised to erect
a false -bottomed platform to delude the
heather with tricks of legerdemain.-
But they needed not our entreaties. Oh,
the irrepsessible conflict !" Itsqueezed
our poor little Stephen SO hard, that gout
nor influenza need trouble him no more.
They cast rocks upon him. The lions
roared at him. The eagle quivered
his tail at him in proud defiance" Old
Buck shook his horn at him, The mig
ger shook his wool and laughed at him,
because the Rail.mauler - received
more votes from the Suckers than he did.
And one hundred and ffty-two and half
brethren stood by and saw him crushed
out, and bewailed their empty pockets,
and the loss of the good things promised
them. "And devout men carried
Stephen to his burial, and made great
lamentation over him"
And now, in conclusion, my dear
Douglas Brethren, know it is hard for
us to believe that Stephen is snuaed out
We cannot realize it. But it is even So
We shall never behold his coat-tail drag.
ging on the ground any more. Its beau
tiful folds have been wound around his
wounded seat of honor, and he has been
lain at rest. The irrepressib!e conflict
Las dealt him asmasher en- the COB, and
his voice will no longer charm US with
the beautiful song Of Popular Sovereign
ty. Therefore cease you blubbe:ins for
Stephen. There is yet hope of salvation
for us. There is plank still left for US
poor shipwrecked sinners to cling to
Our brethren North and South already
stand upon it Though the heathen have
denounced it as a relic of barbarism, ye'
cur elders in the great council of the ma
tion say it is good one. We will go tt
that land of blessed saints in Utah, where
it is fenced in, and shout for old Mrs
! Poly Gamy. There reposng on her bos
ON, We will bury all our sorrows, for th'
Immaculate Stephen, who was so shame
fully martyred at Charleston. Let hin
rot in peace.
Farewell, then. to poor old Stephen.
| T;,a famous Charleston martyr;
| For he II. d SO, we couldn't believe him,
wewon't go tumbling arter.
Thus.you see, l have quoted the Dutc'
poet, and we will close with the words o
the text. And devout i2en carrle'
Stephen to his burial, AMI made great Ia
mentation over him" Amen.
The choir will please sing that goo
old sockdologer, of Possum up agun
tree" while collection is being take
up for the benefit of our late missionarie
to Charleston.
The Octoroon i'm Cleveland.
From the Cleveland Leader
The residents upon Prospect, Erie an
Huron streets and that vicinity may hav