Western Reserve chronicle. [volume] (Warren, Ohio) 1855-1921, 1860-02-22
From the Milwaukee News.
THE PLEASURE OF SKATING.

hight bereath one OF our windows, IRON
morn till midnight, we see youngsters ant
Oldsters twisting their legs into all conceive
able shapes We cannot pick up paper,
but an article on skating" meets the eye
Everybody says it's fun, and that's al
everybody" knows about it, for we haYt
tried it. Last night, about gas light time
after reading glowing description of lift
on skates, we prepared for our first attempts,
and sailed forth to join the merry crowd.
We had on pair of stOga boots, trOuser;
legs tucked inside, a Robert tailed coat and
white hat We went down on the ice, and
gave a boy two shillings in good coin of the
realm for the use of his implements We
have confidence. even as great as Peters
faith. We, with the assistance Of friend
fixed on the skates, and stood erect, Like a
barber's pole.
Encouraged at the sight of some ladie:
on the bridge looking at the skaters w
struck out A slant to the right with the
right foot-a slant to the left with the lefi
fOot-and just then we saw something OIL
the ice and stopped over to pick it up!-
On our feet again-tWo slants to the right
and one to the left, accompanied with a
loss of confidence. Another stride with the
right foot, and we sat down with fearful
rapidity, with very little, if any. elegance
What a set down it was, for we made a
dent in the ice not unlike a Connecticut
butter bowl just then one of the ladies
remarked-"ohl look Mary, that feIler
with the white hat, amt got his skeets on
the right plaee?" Ditto. thought we
Just then ragged little devil sang out as
be passed us-"Hello, old timber legsl"
and we arose suddenly and put after him.
Three slides to the right-two to the left,
and away went our legs-one to the east,
and the other west, causing an immense
fssure in our pants; and another picture
of butter tray in the cold-OhI how cold
-icel
We tried it again. A glide one way, a
glide and half the other, when "whack'
came our bump of philOprogenatiyenesso on
the ice, and we saw million of stars dane
ing around our eyes, like ballet girls at the
Bowery theatre. How that shock went
through our system, and up and down our
spinal column. Lightning couldn't have
cOrkscrewed it down creased sapling with
greater sped and more exhilerating effect.
Boarding house butter nor warranty deed.
could not have struck stronger than we did
and dozen ladies looking at us-and
our "fssured" pants
Hello, old cock" sang our that ragged
imp again, and we there helpless Soon
we got up and made another trial, with
better success. Perhaps we had skated in
our peculiar style, fifteen feet, when a blum
iering chap came up behind, and we set
down, with our tired mead pillowed in his
lap-'and he swearing at US, when it was
III his own fault How cold the ice was
here tool Every spot where we made our
iebut on the iee-ohl how cold it wasl-I
Dur bear skin drawers were no protection
It alh We tried again, for the papers all
iays it's fun, and down come our Roman
irecian nose, ca the cold julep material,
md the little drops of crimson ran down
ur shirt bosom. and on to the cold ice
)nce more we tried skating g-made for the
hore-sat down and counted damages.
Two shillings in cash, thrown away
several lateral and one "fronteral'' bumps
n ice. One immense fssure in as hand |
ONE pair of ten dollar cassimeres as a
han ever put his legs in One rupture in
he knee, extending to the bone. Four
uttons from our vest, a ''fragmented.'
'atch crystal. and baek-ache, big enough
D divide among the children of Israel. If
Ou catch US on the smooth, glossy, chilly,
reezing, treacherous. deceitful. and Slip
ppery ice again, you'll know it! If any
ne ever hears of our skating again, they
MI please draw on US at sight for the BIZ
alves and accompanying documents. We
ave got through skating. It's humbug.
Is a yexatiOn of spirit. of flesh, and tear
: Of trowsersl Itsa head humping, back
hing, leg-wearing dangerous institution, ]
ID we warn people against skating. We
led it, and shan't be able to walk for
Onth. Skating clubs are humbug, and
the rascaly youngsters wish to get the
dies at it that they may see-if they too, a
mt say "the ice is colal' It's nothing L
US. but the ladies viii do well to let t
ates alone, unless they are younger and ?
'rc elastic than We are. OIL how cold Il
e ice is-we can feel 1t yeti <
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