Pomeroy weekly telegraph. [volume] (Pomeroy, Meigs County, Ohio) 1860-1866, 1860-07-31
.dait and d0lisdom.

ssa- No youngstcr ever thought he
was doing wrong in marrying, though at
the same Tina he knew his purpose miss.
> nsa-A little boy, returning from the
Sunday school, said to his mother: ''Ma,
amt there kihy-chism for little boys?
This cat-echism IS to hard for me-
p@- 1t is very common opinion that
the Douglasites have a hard road to
travel, and all must agree that the other
wing will have hard Lone to run.
Reversing 1t.
4 rich man told poor man that he
worked to get stomach for his meat.
''And l" said the poor man, ''work to
get meat for my stomach"
pgA \ fellow went into the Syracuse
Police Office few days ago and asked
if there was any penalty against suicide
by drowning, adding that he contem-
plated such an act NO." said the
chief, 'thcrc is no human law against it,
Officer, show him the deepest place in
the canal.
aeaQuilp and his wife had bit of
contention the other day
.sIsown you have more brilliancy than
], said the woman, 'but have the bet
ter Judgement
Eyes, said Quilp, our choice in mar
riage shows that
Quiip was informed that he Was a
brute
Eeg~sCome here, my little man, said
gentleman to youngster of five years
while sitting ina parlor where large
company was assembled. "Do you
know me?'
''Yith, Thir."
Who am I, then2 Let me hear. :"
s.Iou ith the man that kithed mmama
when papa was in Thuffolk. :"
ss "Tom, what viii you take for
those boots standing in the corner?-
They will just fit me. and want pair. -
'I'll.sell you one of them, Bill, but
can't sell the pair, for they're half soled
already
"You are but half-souled yourself,
You scamp, for sharpening your cob
bling wit ON my Understandings
bas-"sure," said Patrick, rubbing his
head with delight at the prospect of a
present from his employer [ always
name to do my duty"
II believe you, replied his employer;
"and therefore | shall make you pres
ent of all you have stolen from me
during the year
"Thank yer honor" replied Pat; 'and
may all your friends treat you as liber-
ally"
AA- The newly made justices of the
peace met a Rev. Mr.. Thorn as he was
riding home, and resolved to quiz him.
"Ah, said one Of them, "you are not
like your Master, for he was content to
ride on an ass''-"An ASST exclaimed
the minister; ''theres no-such beast to
be gotten nowadays. ."-"Ah! how's
that?" said the wits. Because" re-
piled Mr., Thom, "they now make them
all justices of the peace.
"In June, 1856, when Willie was
not fouryear old, his oldest brother died,
whose family pet-name was Tip In
the following August Willie's mother
was confined to her bed by sickness.
"'Ma,' asked Willie, standing by her
bedside, ARE you going to die?'
"'I do not know, Willie, replied his
mother;'itis hard to answer that question
"'If you do die, ma, said Willie,
please !gtue my loce to Epr"
pg- Mr.. B, one of the would-be
prominent school committee residing at
W, near shire town in Western
Vermont, TINS accosted his neighbor:
"I say, Sol, wasent that our new schoor
,narm?'
eyes, that was her"
'tWell, when l see she come up the
lane dident know as it was she or not
she. But as soon as [ see she go into
the schoolous then knew she was she."
narAn old Pennsylvania, who emi-
grated to Ohio, took it into his head to
be examined for admission to the bar.
Court was then in session at Mansfield;
and William Stansberry was appointed,
with others, to examine the candidate
Stansberry propounded the following
question:
"What is homicide Sc defendendo9
To which our Pennsylvania replied,
after due deliberation:
"It is where man kills himself in
self-defensep
~"Visiting the Aims house the
other day, in company with friend,
whose son, bright little fellow of five
years old, accompanied us, we discoursed
by the way of poxpers, and the best mode
Of treating them.
Charley listened attentively for some
time, then.asked, Papa, what's pauper?'
"4Why, my son, a. pauper is a poor
person without friends; one who has no
papa to, take care of him.
Charley looked serious for a time,
then cried out merrily, 'Oh, yes, papa,
know; you're papper-grandpap's
aaadr