Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1860-05-26
A PerpleXed Bridegroom-Obtaining
Room with an Unfortunate Omis-

sion.
Some days since q very rustic and naristc
couple, residents of Kentucky, near the
Tennessee line, concluded marriage to be
their better destiny, and with this idea came
to the Western Athens, desirous of sacrih-
cling themselves to lfymen at the earliest op-
portunity.
IN due time the pair arrived in Cincinnati,
and repairing to the Spencer House, informed
clerk Andrew Blum that they were extremely
intent on perpetratng matrimony, and that
nothing coull athwart their purpose. Mr..
Blum, so far from wishing to prevent their
amiable immolation, made every effort to
facilitate their designs and so well did he
succeed, that in less than an hour james
and "Jemime" were welded as firmly as lay
in the capacity of q clergyman to bind them
The clerk, after the ceremony had been
performed, believing that all new-married
people ought to be as well accommodated as
possible, gave them q parlor and bedroom
on the third floor, and bade them "good eve.
ming" about ten O'clock not negecting to
wish them every possible bliss.
The twain meekly followed the servant to
the rooms, and were left alone there for the
night the clerk thinking no more of them
until two o'clock when sitting doing in an
easy chair behind the counter in the office,
he was aroused by voice, saying: Look
here, Mr.. Clerk, oh, Mr.. Clerk, I'd like to
speak to you jst mint, do now."
Mr.. Blum opened his eyes, and beheld his
rustic friend, hatless and coatless, with q
flushed face and disheveled hair, and such
generally disarranged attire as indicated that
he had been undergoing some very violent
exercise.
"Well, sir, Of what benefit can be to
your"
''Why, why, don't like to trouble you,
and don't know how you felers does things
in this big town but, but, but"
"But what my good friend" questioned
the clerk, anxious to free the ruralst from
confusion, each moment on the increase.
"Why, why. you know we're married
Jemime and me-"
"Oh, yes, and l wish you all manner Of
good fortune, my fine fellow"
"Wal, 'spose you do but confounG it if
can get the hang of things in this darned
place. May be I'm green ; guess | ON O.
! that way but by jingoes, you do funny here. "
Explain, if you please my man. Mat
do you wish to say"
"Well, we don't care, Jemime aud me, for
little while but to roll round on the floor
all night is devilish hard, stranger, I'll swear
| it is"
Roll round on the floor, what do you
mean?
"Wel, 'spose it isn't what you call fash
ion in big town but by gunbo where we
come from married peoples alters go to bed
"Havn't you been in bed ?" asked the clerk
in great surprise.
"Why, how the devil could we so to bed
when there weren't no bed TO so to That's
what We want the worst sort"
"My good fellow, there's bed in your
room. Did you not see it in the chamber in
the rear of the parlor?"
"Did you give US moran one room, stran-
ger? BY jngoes, didn't know it. It's all
I want-all right, old feller, and so saying he
ran up stairs, and before the clerk could
ascend to the chamber the bucolcst was in
bed, and replied to the knock on the door
"All right now I've found it-Jemime and
mes satisfied We don't want you all right
all right. God bless you, old feller. All
right-fustrat God bless you good night.
| Mr.. Blum went chuckling down TO the
Office at the idea that the unfortunate ruralist
! had passed four hours in his parloI without
even supposing there was bed chamber at
tacned.
Poor simpleton no wonder he was embar'
raised aud troubled-under the circumstances
GREAT INcREAsE.-The Presbyterian Board
Of Domestic Missions will report an increase
of more than $4,000, and the Board Of
Foreign Missions OF more than $4,000 over
the income efthe year preylous.-Ne9 YORK
Courier.