Raftsman's journal. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1854-1948, 1860-05-02
HOW TO KEEP A HOTEL.


man may be a first rate fellow, as Matt
Peel used to say, and yet not know how to
keep hotel. If ability in hotel keeping be
test OF good fellow, there is one man for
whom we youch as all sorts of good fell
low. He keeps hotel country tavern, if
you will, away down in the interior of Arkan-
sas, somewhere. The way we happened to
hear of him was this:
Several weeks ago, two well-known gentle
men of this city went travelling for their health,
and concluded to try the famous Hot Springs
of old ssRackensack.' There being neither
river, railroad nor canal to take body to the
Springs, our travellers hired horses to ride in
that manner to their destination. They un-
luckily followed the wrong road, or else there
was no right road to follow at any rate they
got lost, ,and after fatiguing days ride through
a barren, inhospitable wilderness, they came
to neat little building, standing alone in
woods, with farming appendages around. Our
travellers halted and hallooed. A great tall,
-boned giant of a fellow stepped out.
"Can we get lodging here tonight ?'' asked
one of the horsemen.
ssWell, gentlemen, l reckon ye KIM said
the big one, sand welkim to boot, this is
hotel.''
The travellers. although they did not like
the cut of the landlords jib, dsmounted were
relieved of their horses, and were soon rega-
ling themselves over good country supper,
of n-dodgers, bacon, milk, fried chickens
and coffee. 1t was regular country supper,
and with their whetted appetites, our invalids
enjoyed it amazingly.
After supper the gigantic landlord sat on
the porch with them, talking, cracking jokes,
and treating them occasionally to some good
old rye, of which he appeared to have plen-
tiful stock. The invalids set him down for
regular ssbrick," and were still better pleas
ed when lighted at last to nice soft feather
beds with the whitest of sheets.
81 tell you what it is, Bll,'' said Tom, as
they were sinking gently into the embraces
of Somnus, ssthis fellow keeps nice place if
it is ont here in the woods"
ssThat's fact" replied Bill, ssand | sup
pose it's cheap place, too; but like it, and
I'm willing to pay the full city figure on it
Next morning our travellers were aroused by
their ugly, but afable landlord, and regaled
with breakfast, if possible, still more appe-
tizing than the last nights work had been.
The horses were brought round and it was
evident that they, too, had been well cared
for. One of the travellers pulled out his wal
let, and said TO the big entertainer:
s'Well, landlord, you keep first rate little
hotel out here: better than we expected to
find. We are much pleased with it, and want
to know what the damage is ?''
The landlord drew himself up, and putting
on a very sullen look, said
s.Gentlemen, I'm pleased to hear yer salts
fed. The bill is two hundred and seyenty-fve
dollars.''
SHOW much did you say, sir rs asked the
travellers, both starting.
The big one drew himself up little higher,
looking still more solemn, and replied distinct
ly and emphatically-
:sTwo hundred and seventy-five dollars gen.
tlemen.''
"Do hear right, sir ? do you really mean
to charge us two hundred and seventy five
dollars for two meals and lodging and horse
feed>?''
"Gentlemen,', said the landlord, with the
most alarming sang .troid, ssthat's no mistake.
Two hundred and seventy five dollars is the
bill.'
The invalids got scared. They did not feel
strong enough to fight and if they had could
never have hoped to make anything out of the
ungainly giant who stood composedly before
them. Without saying another word, the
traveller with the wallet squeezed 1t, and peel
ed its different pockets, and succeeded in
handing over the full amount required. The
landlord thanked his guests politely, and ho
ped if they should pass that way they wonld
give him call.
The travellers were now on their horses, and
prepared to renew their solitary ride. Before
getting far off, however, the traveller who had
so-disgorged, turned in his saddle and hailed
the landlord.
ssI say. landIord,'' shouted he, ssbefore go,
I'd just like to ask you a question: civil
question-at which you can take no offense.''
ssFire ahead, gentlemen,'' was the answer;
ssye've paid your bill, and yer welkim to ask
anythin', without offence.''
ssWell, how in the name of Heaven did you
come to charge us two hundred and seventy
five dollars for one nights accommodation,
not worth more than five or six dollars at the
outside ?''
ssCertainly, gentlemen, I'll tell yer and well
kim. Yer see l keep hotel /; and sometimes
has customers, and sometimes l hasn't.
When 1 hasn't has to charge accordin, and
as you are the first customers I've had well
nigh onto year, yer bill was little bigger'n
it mout a bin, otherwise. The hotel has to
be kept up, gentlemen, and when customers is
scarce, has to charge accordin."
ssGood morning, landlord" said both the
travellers, and they both rode off satisfied.
They didn't go on to the springs, however.
They took the back track to the river and re-
turned to the city for some more money, the
big hotel keeper having pretty nearly cleaned
them out. Re-suppled with funds, they were
soon off to the Virginia Springs, being unwi-
ling 10 trust themselves again among the hotels
of Arkansas interior.
They declare, though, that the big land |
lord who fleeced them was capital fellow, all
sorts OF fellow ,and knous hour TO keep Hotel.
We think, on the whole, official swindling in
Austria is little more systematic and scien- |
tific than it has become in this country. A
letter in the London Times, mentions a very
curious mode by which Army contractors plum
dered the Government. They agreed to de-
liver cattle at so much head in Mantau. The
cattle were driven in at one gate and counted,
driven through the town, out at another |