Union County star and Lewisburg chronicle. [volume] (Lewisburg, Pa.) 1859-1864, 1860-08-17
owd to the Charleston Convenshun


Now you git, what upon airth do You s'pos
Folks sent YOU down to Charleston fur, you
Old etarnal spliitin' masheen youl
d'n know but I'm green, but had thort
You was intended fur 10 represent
The feelings Of the Democratic per-
Snasion, as fur as they had any; then what
Did Won run oil the II ack and bust, like
ingine upon the Providence and Am
Boy rail road fur
Dii YOU expect that the kommuni'y
Is 'goin TO believe that Democrats IS
Infarnel- el-MasheenS, made just 10 bust and
Bio all natur into kaos No, shorn
The soft Impeachment! thou convenshun
Thou art a tremenjus humbug. Soin down
To South Carliner and there gliun riied,
And splltin' like tailor custom work,
Il then both seckshuns skuddin' of home!
BE YOU winnin' or wot | blush for my sect
o. can't you see the great old eagle there,
VINO roosis upon the stars and watches all
Our liberties, and Sich, whose claws is made
Of overSrerS, nine-taleS, n his eyes
Is our CRATE constitooshun; squintin' down
With one foot TO his bill. and all the claws
Movin backwards and forwards, while he
SquawkS his Indignation at yer, in this wise
..O, demercrals | wonder as | says
Hain't you got no filan,hropyi Say who
Benighled heather nisgers over 10
A riky if 'taint the Democratic party!
IL aint a goin' 10 do TO bust and leave
Them souls 4 calling 10 YOU all to come
4 bring them here TO this here Christian land
And make EN- happy and free of all expense
And sometimes even agin their Will,
IS our four-falhers has dun"
That's wot the eagle says. Touchin appeal :
Yet YOU could bust! o, thou convenuShn
where,
/ ask, where was yer Conscience!
RELIGIousLY DRuNK.-Did you ever
meet with the man who gets religiously
drunk ? There are not few of those
who "sliug the flowing bowl" and drink
deep Of divinity at the same time and the
mandlin discussion of sacred things in
which they indulge, like Cassia's inebria-
fed "Let US pay" proves irresistible:
Old Noah b. was, in his old age, given
to religion. One day his "od woman"
sent him out to split wood, but coming
across brandy bottle he became very COB.
fus.icated," his errand unaccomplished.
Taking scat, he commenced with:
"Wife, wife, do you think the Lord in
his goodness, (hic) can send US into fire
everlastin' ?''
Noansver from his wife, who was incens-
cd to find her liege lord in such condition.
"Wife, kin the Lord intend to burn rs
in fire everlastin' %
Mrs. b. was by this time boiling over
with indignation, but still no answer.
"Wife, (hic) so you think the Lord
(hic) means to burn US all (hic) in fire ev
erlasiin' ?"
This was more than human patience
could endure, and she could not hold her
tongue any longer; she'd speak if she
died for it.
ono. yer old fool, yer! mott if he waits
for you to split the wood.'
FIGURES WoN'T LIE Census taker to
q lady of uncertain age-"Well, Marie,
how old shall put you down."
Young lady (complaccutly)-"Me-I
am % next June"
Census taker, {maliciously)-"Ah! yes.
Let me see-;t's just twenty-five in July
since-ahem you rejected my addresses.
Guess you must be fully twcnty-three "
ICensus takcr takes his book under his
arm and let's himself out, followed BY a
frown as dark as the inner shades Of hadts
but he had his revenge-sbere is no
ru bling that out.