The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1860-02-02
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Eoys are Ike vinegar; when there is mucl mother
in them they are always sharp
It IS said that a who IS hung does not pay the
debt Of nature, but simply gets an extension
Why Is q reporter pickDOcket? Because he takes
and must have quick fingers to insure success.
The reason that tom eats are so musical is because
they are all fiddle strings inside
.sPray friend are you the Of this house 90
ssked q traveller Mt inn. Yes, SIR answered
Bonifce, . Ny wife has been dead these three
weeks"
An architect proposes to build 80 Bachelors
Hail. which will differ from most houses in having
no - Ewes
In Oriental countries criminals are treated as our
sharpers treat rusties-they are bambOo-zled.
Arstocratic titles often obtained by dishonor-
able means Many 4 man becomes ignoble to become
noble
However great n man you may think yourself, the
little instrument with which you crate nutmeg into
your toddy is CRATER.
To lead the forIorn hope in the field of carnage re-
quires less nerve than to fight noby and unshrink-
ingly the blOOdless battle of life
We may conclude that n house-keeper is a little too
prodigal Of his clothes when them filling holes
in his windows.
However much a man may be traiuced in life, he
IS very generally allowed, when dead to be finished
gentleman
As occasional filth is the worst evil Of poverty and
labor should constant cleanliness be the greatest
luxury of wealth and ease.
What is the difference between an attempted sui
eide and hog killing, One is assault with intent to
KILL ani the other Is a kill with intent to salt.
The professor says in his last paper, that 81
lore you is all the secret that many nay, most wo-
men have to tell When that IS said, they are like
China crackers on the morning Of the fifth Of July.
On board the CuHaTd steamers, divine service is
read every Sunday morning \ passenger, one Sun
day. asked OF the crew. you obliged to attend
public worship, Not exactly obliged, sir replied
Jack, but we would lcse cur grog if We didn't
North Carolina Ball Room '' Miss, can have the
pleasure of dancing with you the next cotilon 2?
% Wei, don't know"
80 Engaged perhaps"
sweIl, if you must know, 1 amt quite done chaw-
ing ny rawzum -
QUITE NATuRAL-You may insert a Thousand
eelent things in n newspaper, and never hear word
CT appreciation from the readers, but just let para
graph slip in (by accidsnt) of or two lines not
saited their taste, and you will be sure to hear of
IL
You have lost your baby, hear said one gen.
tlean TO another 9. Yes poor little thing IL was
only FIVE months old. We did all could for it.
We had four doctors, bstered its head and feet, put
mustard poultiees all gave 1t nine calOmei pow"
ders leeched its temples had IT be, and gave II all
kinds Of medicines, and yet after weeks Illness 1t
die.l -
Follow THE RIGm.-NO matter who you are,
what your lot or where you live, You cannot afford
TO do that which - wrong. The only way TO obtain
happiness and pleasure. is 10 do the right thing You
may always hit the mark; but you should, never
theess always for II. and with every trial your
skill will increase Whether You are TO be praised,
blamed for IL by others; whether II will seemingly
make you richer poorer, whether no other per
than yourself knows of your action; still, always
and in all do the Tif thing Your hrst les
IN this rule will sometimes seem hard ones, but
they viii grow easier and easier, until finally doing
the right thing will become habit, and TO do wrong
Sill seem an impOs-ibility-
A QCIcK QusErEn-A boy worked hard all day
for quarter Of a dollar With the quarter he bought
apples, end took them 20 town and sold them IN the
street for a dollar. With the dollar he bought
sheep The sheep brought him lamb. and her fleece
another dollar. With the dollar he bought him
another sheep. The next spring he hal two sheep,
two lambs and yeIr.Ing sheep The three heeees
he sold @ three dollars, and bought three more sheep
He now hal SIX, with a fair prospect lie worked
where he found opportunity, for hay, corn and
, and pasturing for his sheep He took the best
care Of them and soon had = flock Their wool en-
abei hn % buy a pasture for them. and Oy the time
he twenty-oue he had far start IN life, and ali
from a quarter earned IN one day