Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1860-09-27

1ney mao got Wltnln ABOUT tnree leeG Vi Gle
line, an I wuz tremblin a~ll-over, | wuz Sc
aukshus, when all at wuns, both Civ a luuge
forward, an
(which wun, Sam, which wun%
III tell you, alter the fust Monday IN
December. Boys, let's take a drink
PATIN THE TELEGRAPH OFFICE,
Pat (entering)-Is Misther House in?
Clerk-No such man lives here. You
have made a mistake in the door.
Pat-Och, now don't you be comm any
of your barney. Sure an didn't [ rade
Houses Telegraph on the outside?
Clerk-Ah, l understand. I attend to
Mr.. Houses business.
Pat-Oh, ye do; we'll, can you sind to
ne brother Mick, in New York?
Clerk-Yes; have you a written message ?
Pat-Och, bother! never need of givin'
a missage in writiu', at ali. Niver a word
can he rade. Just give him this five dol.
lar bill, to pay the fue the blackguards put
on him.
Clerk-Oh, We can't send money by the
telegraph. Money must 60 by the mail.
Pat-Sure, an what would | buy male
for? And isn't it three pecks of illigant
male I've in me house already?
Clerk-No. All we can do, if you have
a message, we can seud that. That is, we
charge the wire with electricity and make
it write in New York.
Pat-Make it right, is it? Well, now,
be dad, that's the thing iutirely! Just
make it right with Mick, an here's the
money.
Clerk (angrily)-We can't do any thing
of the sort. | mean we can w-r.i.t-e-print
the words you want to say to your brother
iu New York.
Pat-(scratchiug his head with a puzzled
air)-if yez can do that, just be after dis
cossin wild him as soon as ye like.
Clerk-But | tell you, you must write the
message, you wish to send, Oh this bit Of pa.
per.
Pat-Och, bad luck to it! Niver a bit
can | write sure.
Clerk-Well, III do it for you. What is
your brothers name?
Pat-Mick.
Clerk-What is his other name?
Pat-Same as me own. Sure, we're
brothers.
Clerk-Yes, l know that but what is he
called?
Pat-What is he called, is it? Well,
in the ould country they called him 'Shil.
lalah Nick bekase of the mighty fine taste
he had at swiDgin' that bit of a twig; an
many is the sconce, sure, he cracked like
an old taypot, whip
Clerk (angrily)-Oh, nonsense! I don't
want to know anything about his fighting
propensities. I want to know his othel
name. 1t is Mick what?
Pat-Och, bo.heration, no! Mick Wat
is my cousin-bad luck to him las lives
iu the County Kerry, an he's been deac
these FIVE years.
Clerk-Coufound it! Can't you tell mt
your brothers other name? He has ont
besides Michael, hasn'the
Pat-Oh, yes, sure why didn't yes bs
after tellin' me that's what ye wanted be
fore for sure as my name is Pat Finnegan
ye should been towld the family name O
me ancestors, without blushir.
Clerk-Ah, Finnegan is the name!
Pat-No, jewel-Mick Fiunegan. Niv
err an R. Finnegan in the family, savin
Rory. He listed for a soager.
Clerk-No matter about that. Now fo
the message (writing): TO assist you il
paying the fine imposed on you, l will seue
you FIVE dollars by mail There, that viii
do. Here are eighteen words the first ter
will cost you fifteen cents, the other twcnt,
four.
Pat-Oh, bother the first ten words J.
Mick will never miss 'em. Sind the last
Clerk-We can't do that. You mus
pay forty at any rate.
Pat-Sorry a bit can l do that! Sure
you may tell Mick the reason Of his gettin
no missage from me was all OWN to tn
occasion of the money it cost; an that'l
explain the reason of his not hearin' frou
me at all.
Clerk-We can't do any such thing
You must pay forty cents, or we shall sen'
no message at all.
Pat-Och bedad, it'll niver matter!-
Sure, III niver pay a clint to sind a missag'
over your ould dirty wire machine of
telegraph. exit, muttering.)
PRETTY CODA young gentleman be
ing asked to write some lines in young Ia
dy's album, perpetrated the following:
Something original you ask me to write;
hardly know where to begin;
fear there is nothing original in me
Excepting original san!
sas- When a man launches his bark Of
the sea- of courtship, to what port is he des
m IT,. (l,-o how