Raftsman's journal. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1854-1948, 1860-01-25
REMOVING A WAPT

| Mr.. Slack Fiddle had been married tbre,
| weeks, when he made the tremendous dscoy
cry that his beautiful wife had small wart OF
her upper lip. Although this wart had occu
pied that position for upwards of ten years
and was only abont the head of pin in size
| nothing would satisfy him but its removal
| Alter making numerous inquiries, one of hi:
| friends let him into the secret that caustc
dipped into water and rubbed on, would burn
it off and do the job up brocn.
| Making a grand rush for the drug store, he
| laid out the sum of six cents in that valuable
article. Arriving home, he took his wife and
a basin of wafer into private room, locked
| the door, threw off his coat, rolled up his
| shirt-sleeves, put his arm affectionatey around
| her neck, and caught hold of her Roman nose
with his fingers. Being rather green in this
| line, he dipped his hand holding the caustic
into the basin Of water, and commenced the
rub, not very particular where or how it went
| on, SO long as the spot got well coated. After
rubbing few seconds he kindly asked:
'sDoes it burn, Polly dear?''
'sNo, lovey, net bit; only keep it out of
my mouth" she gently whispered
Thinking the stuff very weak, he changed
arms, SO that his other hand could take pinch
at the nose game, and went to work again in
tine style. After putting on dose that near
ly covered the whole of her face, he concIu-
ded to let up for half an hour, and if by that
time it did not burn, to put on some more.
lIG Iidu OccL IN the street ABOUT HIte0n nin-
etes, trying to catch his breath and preparing
for another spread, when he became greatly
surprised at seeing his hand very curiousIy
stained. Wondering where all the ink came
from, he started home to see if he had upset
bottle. Going into the room, what a sight
met his view. There lay his beautiful little
wife stretched out on sofa, with three women
scrubbipg her face-and, holy treasures! such
face; her red cherry lips had changed to
black, her elegant Roman nose had blotch on
each side, and her rosy cheeks were spattered
with the same kind of ssnk.'' AS soon as her
light blue eyes fell on Slack, she made des-
perate spriDg'at his head-upsetting two|wo-
men and pail-and before he had time to ex-
plain or get out of the way, her delicate aim
ond-shaped nails marked his face nearly as bad
as her own, only in different style. 1t took
some time to set things all right, and Mr.
Slack Fiddle swears he will never take the ad-
vice of learned friend, undertake to do
job up 6ro.cn again.
a Coon ONE.-There is in Congress set of
tinical gentlemen who are continually finding
fault at the manner in which they reported
in the newspapers. Every now and then a
member, who has been correctly reported,
finding he has made himself ridiculous before
the people. ssrses for personal explanation -
and sends to the Clerks desk an extract to be
read from newspaper, and then ssventillates''
himself, t0 the immense edifcation of the
House. One morning, recently, a great many
sspersonal explanations were being made,
when Thad. Stevens rose and said he desired
to make sspersonal explanation,'' and being
recognized, he sent paper to the Clerks
desk, requesting that certain paragraph be
read from it> The Clerk took up the paper,
glanced at it, and, with smile, laid it down.
Being asked why he did not read it, he in
formed the House that he could not, as it was
German paper. ssOh, very we'll then,'' said
tion' till another time" Upon which the
House and galleries burst into loud laugh,
and no more sspersonal explanations were
made during that day.