The Grand Haven news. [volume] (Grand Haven, Mich.) 1858-18??, 1860-05-23
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.
= Folly and pride walk side by side.
. The firmest friends ask the fewest

A
- The frmest friends ask the fewes
favors.
- Wisdom is always at home to thos,
who call.
- Friends and photographs never flat
ter.
= Content is the mother of good di
gestion.
= Death is the only master who takes
n servant without character.
= He that borrows binds himself will
his neighbors rope.
= He that is too good for advice, is
too good for his neighbor'S company.
= Where hard work kills ten, idleness
kills hundred men.
= When pride and poverty marry to-
gether, their children are want and pow
erty.
- Never speak of mans virtues be-
fore his face, nor of his faults behind his
back.
= What is the second fraternal fight
recorded in the Bible? Shcm, Ham, and
Jay fit. Horrblel
- "For Sale-An excellent Young
horse would suit any timid lady or gen
tlemen with silver tail~
= Dignity of position adds to dignity
of character. Give us a proud position,
and we arc compelled to act up to it.
- A western editor has received six
teen offers Of marriage since leap year set
in; he has not accepted one of them.
- 1t is fair to suppose that in con-
yention of females, whatever is voted on
is always carried by handsome major
ity.
=" Sam, why am Senators like fish ?"
g. don't meddle wild the subjec', Pomp."
"Why don't YOU see, nigga, bekase dey
am so fond oh debate"
: A lady named Fortune recently, at
one birth, presented her husband with
three fine daughters, thereby verifying the
old saying that, misfortune never
comes alonep
- A lady viewing herself in n mirror
said to her daughter, "What would YOU
give to be rs handsome as | am!
"Just ms much as you would give to
be rs young rs am"
- TO one who said, do not believe
there is an honest man in the world" an
other replied, at is impossible that one
man should know all the world, but quite
possible that one should know himself"
-"What fine head your boy has"
said IN admiring friend. ayes said the
father, shes n chip off the old block
amt you, sonny?' 81 guess so, daddy,
cause teacher said yesterday l was n
young blockhead."
- We know n very pretty young lady
in town, who has bashful lover named
Joy. She is impatient to have him "pop
the question" and thinks of avaiIing her
self of the female privilege of leap year.
In that case she would "leap for JOY"
= Somebody says that young lady
should always ask four questions before
accepting the hand of any young man, as
follows: is he honorable! Is he
kind of hearth Can he support me COM
fortably? Does he take paper! And
is that paper the Grand Haven News2"
- Aunt 3 was trying to per-
suade little Eddy to retire at sundown,
using as an argument that the little chick
ems went to roost at that time. "Yes,"
said Eddy, "but the old hen always goes
with them" Aunty tried no more argu-
ment with him.
= A Dutch man who had n brother
hung in this country, wrote to his rela-
tives, informing thcm that his brother had
been placed in public situation by this
government, and at the time of his death
had several thousand people, including the
sheriff and grand jury, under him.
- An old criminal was once asked
what was the first step that led to his
ruin, when he answered: "The first step
was cheating printer of two years sub
scription. When had done that the
devil took such grip on me that | could
not shake him off" Delinquents, reflect
ere it is too late.
= Z" Is there one who thinks anything
of him who wears tarpaulin hat and
blue jacket, or pair of trousers made of
duck? In short, is there one who cares
aught for the poor sailor!'' said minis
ter, recently, in the course of sermon to
sailors. A little girl jumped up, and
looking archly at her sister, said, in a tone
loud enough for every one to hear, " Yes,
sir; our Becky doesp
"The republican papers are circula-
ting the following:
"Who settled Virginia."
"John Smith,"
"Who unsettled virginial'
"John Brown"
The author of this production doubtless