Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1860-10-18
aBit ann Ajnmur.

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HIGurALUTIx.-Some at political
meeting in Delaware, very improperly said
some uncivil things Of Gen. Winfield Scott,
where-upon Mr. Briggs arose in his defence
The following is his eloquent speech:
"Mr. Whoever says Gen Scott
is not patriot, should be kicked out the
back door of public contempt; rolled down
the gutter of degration picked up with the
tongs of general exec alton, ard buried In the
waters of oblivion"
cesar, dis chile's gwine to Washington
to ply for of1iis OBJ de Government"
"Wcll what are tryin' to got now, eli?'
Use gwine to ply for do post ob sexton
in dc post offs apartment" 'T
Sexton oh best offs apartment?
Yes, sah berry dc dead letters
Watts de matter-vat's de ina't-r 2exclsirned
an old dutchman, as he tucked up his apron
and ran out of his shop to know the meaning
Of crowd in the street. Watts do matter?
There man killed, replied n bystander.
Oh ish dat all 2 said he evidently disappoin-
ted, fish dat all shoots a man kilt Huuph
thouslt. it was fight
a brute Of a bachelor asks why one Of the
old Ventan prisons is like q marrying? Be-
cause it is an awful cell.
81 think, wife, that you have O great many
ways of calling me fool''
Il thind husband, that you havea groat
many of Icing one.'
''Lewis what are you leaning orer that
empty cask for2"
i'm mourning over departed spirits, was
the reply
An aged bachelor being asked il lie evor
witnessed a public execution, "Ne but
once saw marriage"
We ave heard of but one old woman that
"kssed her cow" but there are thousands Of
young ones that kiss great calves.
'Do try to talk little common sense said
a conceited youth to young lady. oh but
would not that be taking an unfair advan-
tage Of your
Oh ! Mr.. Hill,' said one Of the Rev. Row
Hills hearers how is it that you say such
out of the way things in your sermon ?, 'Ah'
said eccentric divine, beoaisc you are: such
out OF tho way sinners
doctor" said gentleman to his physi-
clan, isn't there disease called shingles y
Yes to sure there is" replied Galen.
Then have got it, )" said the patient, for
| the roof Of mouth is broken out in dozen
places
A little girl after returning from church.
where she saw collection taken up for tho
first time related what took place, and among
other things, she said with all her childish in
nocencc, that man passed round plato
that had somo money on it, but she didn't
take any.
Srfcr.-The following passage at arms has
takeE place between the Petersburg, Virginia,
Press, (Dem. and hrtelligcncer, TX. Nj
Democracy survives. s."-Pres.s
$50 docs the devil '-lnteuigcncer.
"And rs both are now fairly in tho field
for the next champaign, choose ye whom 80
| will serve "-Pres.
SHORT calls arc tho best, az .hs fly said
when he lit ons'he stove.
What key opens the gate to miscry9
Aus Whis key
An old bachelor il a traveller upon lfe's
road, who has entirely failed to mako the
proper connections
"Of two evils choose ye tho least Wo'il
take the devil. "-MHilencer.
"Opposition Editors go to the devil as nat
ural as duck takes to the water. The In
teUigencer takes the road it party will trav-
cl this fall. National Democrat
Prentice thinks agood mint-jnlip i, the only
sort of green horn that should be tolerated.
In all the noble enterprises, the ladies are
like the a'e!tic tclcgraph-far in advance Ct
the males