The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1860-05-02
Our OliO.


"A WITTY cotcmporary says carl is
quite in Lynn. That may be considered
the Iaet pun, we suppose.
DAM not fond Of catnip," Is the
little girl said, when pussy bit of q peice
of her nose.
Ar town meeting il Ireland it
was recently voted "that all persons il
the town owning dogs shall be muzzled."
No one, by merely conyersing with
o fish, ever succeeded in drawing him
Out.-Kr.
But by merely "dropping him 7ine,"
the thing has been done.
-SoLuMoS's ADVICE 70 PRYoR.--
"Go not forth hastily to strive, lest thou
know not what to do in the end thereof,
when thy neighbor Potter hath put
thee TO shame. Proc. XIV, s.
-WtTH four metallic qualifications a
man may be pretty sure Of worldly sue
cess-they are gold in bis pocket silver
in his tongue, brass in his face, and iron
his heart.
"A New England writer saws that it
has been found that negroes can he better
trusted than white men, not to betray Sc
crets. We suppose that this is upon the
principle that they always keep dark.
"a MAN is, in general, better pleas
ed" says DR.. johnson, "when he has
good dinner upon his table than when
his wife talks Greek" That is to say,
he thinks more Of his gru5 than of her
grapmer.
-APPRoPos Of childrcn.it was beau
tiful saying of R'chter's, that 'lhe smallest
are nearest God" ''NOt so near" re-
marked malicious old bachelor, "but
Il at one often wishes them nearer
That's bal enough.
-"ToUGH, madam, tough, did you
say 2" said the iras.iLle boarder to the
landlady, as he WAS trying to carve what
was ostcnsiblv chicken. "Yes EN- ;aad
were to give my opinion CT the fowl, |
should say it was old enough to have
scratched up the seeds Of original sin when
they were first planted"
"A WEsTER.' paper relates remark
able instance of self possession on the part
If professional gentleman. He was
sailing, ono Sunday, when gale arose
and he Icing frightened, took to tho shore,
saying, '.It wasn't the being drowned
that he feared SO much as the looks of
the thing in Print-"Drowned Sunday"
We have no desire to beacquainted
with the bachelor who porpctrated the
following:
az AZURE, impartial in her ends.
When she made man the strongest,
In Justice, then, To make ameaas,
Made wUman's tongue the longest"
--GREAT CoNsoLATIoN.-Somebody
has threatened to ''kick" tho local editor
of the Pinery, wheroat hc adds:
'-Iu case we should get kicked and our
trewsers get torn in the excitement, we
know tailor that will mend thom gratis"
What gritty editor, says the Madison
Argus.
A LOVER OF WHIskY.--Recently a
man was Rrraigned for stealing a delni,
john of whisky. care you guilty or not
guilty /" asked tho clerk. avail, YOU
can call it what you likes, tax the whis-
Ky, that admit, and dlank it, too
"You took it without leave, did you no. 2"
IL never wait to be asked when shat ar
tiGle's around"
--THE CoHJuKos DoxE.-Herr Blitz
selected from the audience q bright ]ittIs
fellow to assist him in bis expesiments.-
''Sir," said he, ado you think that I could
put the sovereign which the lady holds
into your coat pocket2' 'Eo," said the
boy, confidently. 'ThiBk nots" 81
know you couldn't" said the little ftllow
with great frmness. "Why net! Pr
''Cause the pocket is torn out!'
-CoNGREssIoNAL ALI UsToys.-The
country has become satisfied that Virgin
ia duelists are afraid of bowie kniyes.o-
We have 90 illustration of Tie fact.
d-PTvOr-i.