The new era., 1860-09-20
Nervous Women.
BY MRS. GEORGE WASHINGTON wyLL

BY MRS. GEORGE WASHINGTON wyIIys
Anything but nervous woman
Fretful women can be coaxed. cross wo-
men can be soothed, disconsolate women
can be cheered up, but nervous women
they are an everlasting drop of Bit
terness In your cup. not-to-be got-rid-
OF thorn IN your side. A man unlucky
enough to be married 10 one Of these
nuisances ought TO be released from the
ordinary penalties and obligations of So
ciety; he might either give her dose
of arsenic, or run away to Oregon. and
nobody would blame him. Think of be-
ING tied for life to nervous woman!
She IS never at peace herself for a
minute, neither will she let anybody else
be peaceable. She's always sure that
something is wrong. When she goes
out riding with her husband, she 'knows
perfectly we'll" that the horses are go
ing to run away, and snatches the reins
out of his hand at the most critical per-
iod, so that they do run away; then she
has the supreme satisfaction Of saying,
81 told you sol"
She never travels in the cars without
keeping her head out of the window the
whcle time, to see whether they are not
running off the track, and whether the
nose of the locomotive insnt two inches
higher in the air than it ought to be-
She invariably gets on the wrong train
simply because she is so anxious 10 get
on the right one-nervous people al
ways do.
Her husband is a much-enduring man.
He scarcely ever gets well into dream
land without being walked with an ener-
getic poke, and questioned as to "wheth-
er he didn't hear noise in the cellar.'
In vain does he beg off, and when. ac
ter protracted search through the
house, nothing more terrible than tho
cat Is discovered, the nervous woman
comforts herself with the reflection.
"Well. il might have been robbers!"
During thunder-s storm, she fclicitates
hersclfby enumnrating the various "hor-
rible deaths by lightning" that she has
ever heard of read of-she's a very in
sPiritlng companion, the nervous wo-
man, for people who arc at all of tim
i'd temperament. On the water, shc il
continually expressing her fears "le i
the boat should tip over" and contrives
to do her best toward the catastrophe
by jumping up and screaming Just when
1t IL most important that she should sit
STILL I'M
She 10 not to be depended on in sick
ness-she's great deal too nervous for
that. She brings yon the Iaudanum-bot-
tie for camphor, and hartshorn for colo
gne; and when disastrous consequences
ensue, she makes herself still more gen
orally useful by going into Mysteries.
whenever il Is necessary to be partic.
ularly cool and collected, she begins to
"feel all of futter," and declares that
anybody might knock her down with q
feather she's so weakr,
You never know when to leaye this
woman. Ifvou leave the door open. she
wonders show you can be SO thought
less as to allow the hinges to swing in
the wind when you know how nervous
she u.s. If you change your tactics, and
leave it shut, she is ''sure she shall
choke for breath OF fresh air!' Ifyou
thoughtlessly tap your foot on the floor
you catch her eye fixed imploringly ND.
: on you. lfyou suppose that rocking
chair is made to rock in, she very soon
disabuses you Of that idea by declaring
that 'that creaking noise sets her all or
edge" In short, the only way to avoid
injuring the feelings Of the nervous iwo.
D man Is to 60 where she is not,
ii If these people did but know how very
disaOreea hle thew MAIZE fharns elvex Wa
have the charity to think they would i'm
mediately set about q reform But they
n don't know, unfortunately. Most o.
K them on the contrary, imagine them.
slseives 10 be unappreciated' martyrs and
angels. We wonder If they win yecog-
Inize their own portraitures here isfoi
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