Mountain Democrat. [volume] (Placerville, El Dorado Co., Cal.) 1854-1860, 1860-03-03
Yonr Cuatom Honse Officer.

1OuE Ou8LOm 1OuSe OmCeI'
Very clerkly and earnest in details # tariff
eXactionS is your custom house officer between
the hours Of . \. VI. and , T. NJ. IF Subor-
dinatc, he pricks up an humble and attentive
ear to iniunctons of his superior Your Gus
tom house officer is mainly clcanly in his per
son and decorouS and saving in his attire
Entering upon his matutinal duties he dofIs
his unwrnkled coat Of gloss, and attircs him
>crts quill between Scull and upper lapel Of
ear To a customer he Is quick Of uttcrancc
and frrcely rapid in propulsion Of pen. There
are heads and chiefs Of departments who NJ
ir.t u digucd Incidence. These yawu At
times and lazily cock their feet on stout tables.
They are ready for slow and measured con
verse, but it must be with men Of note or per-
Sons who anchor their nativity in the same
house officer is fleet If footStcp. When no
stranger = eye j. upon him he tells a joke t.
his ncighbOr The joke has high altitude.
1t involves men or women Of rank. Your Gus
tom house officer rejniccS in familiar arpriia'
tivrS. Referring To- the late Governor he sayH
he heard a good thing ii our friend John L..
or b. int,rrogatcs hi, fc.lo" officer say,
Bob, will Milton = leave on the next steamer.
Stcalthily cmergcs custom house officer from
his huge tabernacle and huriies to cabarc;
hard BY "Tom. You know my drink. For
a moment he rrj"icrs his soul with potAti"n,
and lunches fast and vora.iou>ly and hurrc>
back to his tiS he iron tongue If time
tolls the hour of three. Slowly and with light
cane and rrt,a>el il good garment does custom
huu>c officer thread the laIyn,'.t. Now j. hi
->Attiraaiia- M.4Ailt docs lac cpnerr,ltc in front
Of Montgomery block. There is ca>. and re-
taxation and abandph il his gait. He shakes
r,t>tieaai Inetrnil!!tasl- ...aailr by the band,
som, men are proud because they hold "ilcc.
4 true custom house officer. 80 he would i'm.
press, may have cause for pride, but it does
not Lec.inr him to bear himself noudly be-
tore his fellow citzvItS Your true custom
house offfe.r- will drink With any onc--Wi!l
discuss E1picS of the day with the humblcst.
Why not? Your custom hou>c c:fir"r sub.
Sclbcs for at least three Democratic rape;>.
When particularly requested, he viii read All
opposition paper He litics the editor Of
such sheet. lie never argues with political
opponent II" ,i>tcn> patiently to his vasa'
rte, and haluclnatloL>,a and then seeks to turi.
the subject in very c0inn.i>eraiion. The man
ON paper that differs from III. administration,
is not subject for conviction. He is dcrangcd.
lie i.i;:,e but will l.old lao argument with lin.
Your custom house officer never owns zeal
estate ana cmbarks in tratiics. He ha> held
his position since 40. lie cannot conceive a
change in affairs of State that can Gust him.
lie j. vastly exclusive in the Social circle
visits little but with the most refined. lie has
never been known to descend to the littlrnc>s
Of lov. making. His socica visits are stad
and dgnilicd. lie never contcmI'!atcs natr.
monv. Iii, bride is the federal common
wealth. Ili> home i, the custom lous". H.
religion is the mmarulatture> Of the Prc>.
dent If an election takes place, he enjoys
temporary Vac Allnn. II" hihS HN>ttlf'I>N
to the boys on street corners and is rrnin-
nent at political meetings and \, political II".
ccs>iom<. The election over. like tortoise, he
draws his head within his she'll. If a senate
rial contest elap>e. with extremely small and
extremely faced carpet bag, he wcnd> to the
capital lie don't know any ono there, but
he reveals his predictions at his hotc andin
the bar room. lie relies upon the prestige Of
his presence. Your custom house officer is n
rare bird Of peculiar formation and distinguish
ing plunngc. Your custom house Office! is
no Slouch Not he.
"Nor ox IT." is the name of temperance
society recently established at ToId'e Valley
Placer county. Tie H'r'M says the society
has two pledges, one Of which binds its signrr>
to total abstinence, and another which admits
Of the drinking Of malt liquors. The fellow )
. who take the latter nIcdcc gtran &c As il NAV