The Grand Haven news. [volume] (Grand Haven, Mich.) 1858-18??, 1860-01-25
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

AoE.-the only secret woman keeps.
No tune is so popular, and yet SO
hard to catch, as fortune.
We advise the gentleman who was
struck by lady's rosy cheek to kiss the
red.
A party of friends, recently, chased
a fox thirty-six hours. They actually "run
the thing into the ground"
= An Irishman at cards, having on in
spection, found the pool deficient, ex-
claimed, "Here's shilling short-who
put that in!
- The common opinion is, that we
should take good care of children, at all
seasons of the year, but it is well enough
in the winter to "let them slide"
DR.. South says that many a man
runs his head against the pulpit who
might have done his country excellent
service at the plow.
What horrible creature! A bach
elor says he dislikes young married coup
les, "because they arc so apt to give
themselves heirs"
=" Got any ice at your end Of the
table, Billw "No, but Two got the next
thing to it." "What's thatg' A Sc
we're coldp
"A Southern lady has abandoned the
Shaker establishment near Hopkinsville,
to marry Mr.. James Bean, aged seventy
five. She must be fond of dried beans.
I'll suppose" said quack, while feel
ing the pulse of patient, that you
think me humbug." "Sir," replied
the sick man, "I perceive you can dis
cover mans thoughts by his pulsc.'
A western editor, in answer to @
complaint of patron that he did moi
give news enough-advised him when
news was scarce to read his Bible, which
he had no doubt would be news to him
"A lady in Montreal, recently, recov-
cred $4,000 of Maj. Beckford for hug
ging and kissing her rather roughly. She
oug int to set high value on the money
she got it by tight squeeze.
A dying West India planter, groan-
ing TO his favorite servant, sighed out
"Ah, Sambo, | am going on long, long
Journey" Never mind, massa," said
the negro, consolingly, "d am all dt
way dowm hW."
A lady correspondent, who profes.
ses to be Mortified at the indelicacy of @
certain newspaper, threatens for the future
to set her foot on every copy she sees.-
She had better not. A newspaper has
IS in it.
= The editor of the Boston Liber
ator" calls upon the ladies Of the Nortl
to make use of nothing that is produced
by slave labor. He needn't expect then
not TO use cotton. They will not erpe
so old a friend from their Josoms.
A lawyer, not young, nor handsome
examing a young lady witness, determin
ed to perplex her, as he thought, and said
Miss, upon my word you are very pret
ty p "I would return the complimcn
if were not under oath,' said the youn
lady.
-"Don't they miss me at home, don
they miss me? all now 'twould be ur
common severe, to know that my dadd
! were yelling, that scoundrel amt here
, to feel that tho group at the fireside, ar
cursing me MS ! roam; oh yea, twould b
, very pleasant to know they don't war
/ me at home"
f YANKEE Dew DRoPs.-" Why, uncl
Dewlittle, how dew you deaO? De-
v come and rest little while, dew;; ho
does aunt Hannah deao, and what is 81
dewing now and de,0 tell us about IL
/" news. Come, des0 set up to the tab
Z, and dew rs we dear; de,o help yoursel
i and dew talk some, and deao not make n
n dew all the talking. Now, dcw sa
something deW."
Not n thousand miles from this cit
!. says the Milwaukee NeVs, party
young ladies and gents were out slcigl
S ing not long ago, when pretty girl WI
$ compelled TO sit upon getlenan's lap
L To steady herself in the sleigh she had
Q place her arm around his neck. Fearir
% she was firing him-ye gods think of
" young man becoming tired in such 81
Il uation D-she asked him if she were N
! heavy. He replied-"My yoke is cas-
q and my burthen light" So it seems tn
The scriptures can be sentimentally quote