The Shasta courier., 1860-07-14
The Republican Platform.

The subioined from the New York Herald,
we publish for the benefit of all concerned. 1t
is pithy, and will amuse all, of whatever party
they may be- For ourselves we think this Re-
publican Canvass " has commenced in splinters,
and will go out in smoke" 1t is too late in the
day TO raise any very great furor by such hum
buggery as rail professions and the like. The
l840 canvass has not been forgotten, and al
though this seems to be an age in which the
contest is muscle versus brains, with tendency
at present to muscle, still we think that brain
will triumph for the Presidency, and the Lin
coin rails will command very little more, after
the election, than if made by more humble
individual. But to the extract:
" According to the demonstration made at the
very entertaining ratification meeting of the
Republicans on Thursday evening, the Presi-
dental campaign is to be fought on a rail said
to have been split by the hands of honest Old
Abe Lincoln" himself. If he should be elected
this rail will be of as much importance us an
authenticated autographic letter of Frederick
the Great, and occupy as prominent a place in
history as the celebrated boots of Charles the
Twelfth, or the gray surtout of the Great Ma
poleon.
The original rail, upon which the battle is to
be fought, was introduced to the meeting, and
was, although dumb, powerful argument
The best part of Antony's speech was that
wherein he pointed silently to the wounds OF
Caesar and, as the Seward men have not re-
covered from the St. Bartholomew massacre at
Chicago, the ratification meeting was more like
the funeral Of Caesar than n fste for the glorii-
cation of Brutus. The rail, however, was a
happy thought of some philosopher who is evil
IDENTIFY well acquainted with the sort of material
of which the Republican, and for the matter OF
that, all the other parties are composed. This
is wicked and perverse generation which de-
mands sign, and that sign is the illustrious
rail split by the divinely honest hands of Uncle
Abe. That rail is as the True Cross to the
Christian, or the green turban of the Prophet
to the Mahometan.
Still, man does not live by bread alone. The
Republicans have their creed in their Helper
book, and their appropriate insignia in the rail
They might, however, go still further and create
tremendous excitement in the rural districts
by exhibiting several other souvenirs of the -Iii-
teresting period when their candidate was fitting
himself for the first office in the nation by split
ting wood We are always happy to assist our
friends with suggestions, and offer TO the Re-
publican leaders list of curiosities which, il
exhibited at their ratification meetings, would
undoubtedly create what the reporters call the
'wildest enthusiasm Here is the invoice
which celebrated antiquarian is prepared to
sell cheap for cash:
!. Handle of the maui with which Lincoln
split his first rail-
2. Chew of tobacco masticated during the
operation.
3. Waistband of breeches split during the op-
Grafton Patch of seat of ditto
4. Portreit of the man who stood against a
tree looking at Old Abe splitting the rail. TOld
Abe told him if he kept on sogering there he'd
never get into Congress, and he didn't.
.. Horns of the oxen who hauled the rails.
6. Half pint of whisky (rife-- warranted to
kill at hundred yards) distilled ia the hollow
by Old Abe.
Z. Original tin pot out of which Old Abe took
his drinks
8. View of that grocery (by our own artist
on the spot.D
o. String of one of the original brogans worn
by the Prophet in his hegira from Kentucky to
Illinois.
TO- Half pound of best Young Hyson sold
BY Lincoln, as grocer, to the sire of the first
white child born in Sangamon county.
II. Pine knot from the original hut built by
Uncle Abe from lumber got out by his own
hands.
II. Hair from name of horse who won n race
Of which Uncle Abe was Judge.
l3. Ditto from tail of losing mare in the same
race.
IA. Tooth knocked out of mans head who
fought another man, and chose honest Old Abe
for referee.
Is. Portrait of Old Abe when he tried to look
pretty and frightened a child of one of the first
families in the county into convulsions.
We submit this catalogue in all good faith to
the Republican Central Committee. Ifthey dis
card all absurd distractions and go into the
campaign on this grand platform, they will be
sure to win, provided Old Abe gets sufficient
number of what his principal supporters at Chi
cago called " electoral" votes.