, 1860-10-05
REPLY TO WIDOW MCCARTHY.
SrELAcooM Cry, Sept 18th, 1860.

Madam: 1t is with feelings Of pleasure and
pride that ] read your very interesting letter
dated from the county Of Cork. | am glad to
learn that our journal is circulated and read in
your country, and that our "Bachelor's notice
has received some little attention in that quarter.
As you have thought proper, my dear madam,
to address US through the columns Of the Puget
Sound Herald, permit me to use the same channel
through which to answer your appeal to the
aforesaid members Of the Steilacoom Bachelors
association, always bearing in mind that am not,
nor never was, member Of that club. At the
time Steilacoom made offerings, not burnt offer.
ings to the Deity, but offerings to the fairest Of
His handiwoOk, k,-woman-ou country looked
forward to people from all nations to cultivate
her soil, and carry civilization with them to their
dark homes in the forest. Then our star was in
its zenith, our country democratic, and our Presi-
dent Irish. But alas the dark hour Of tribula-
tion is upon US, and the future Is an abyss Of
darkness. "The impending crisis," "The ire.
presslble conflict" "The Niger question" aud
i" The San Juan difficulty" are our four cardinal
enemies, and they are all boring to see which wi
make the largest hole in the rock on which rests
the pillars Of our constitution; whilst "Old Abe
Lincoln, the raiLsp.itter," with ponderous ma ul
and irOn wedge, stands ready to rend the rock
in twain at single blow, Should the others fail
to blow it up. As the above compose the subject
Of my letter, I will try to Explain them to you,
knowing that very limited knowledge Of our
government exists in your country. The I'M
pending crisis, az the American Interpretation
Of the word signifies, is joint 81 feet high,
called by name Honest Old Abe" and strongly
suspected Of being the only child Of old Abel,
who was slain by his brother Cain, in the land
Of Nod; as a consequence, Old Adam must be
our Old Abe's grandfather. This singular mans
life Is now in print and so Gar his biOgrapher has
failed to trace his gcncalogy further back than
the landing Of the Pilgrim Fathers. That Old
Abe's family existed before that era, Is not TO be
questioned 1t is therefore probable that this
joint is the on'y direct relative Of Adam now ex-
tant, and that he migrated to the backwoOds Of
America from the land Of Nod, taking with him
beautiful Kanaka woman, and were the first,
no doubt to people Anerica, and give US \ breed
called Native Americans, which now sDrely cut
up into minor tribes, known as IIoosiers, Pixies,
Black Republicans and Know -NOthings. Of the
Republican faction. Old Abe is the head. His
people think him mighty, but we, the Democrats,
Il mean the Irish and Dutch, for they compose
the true democracy Of America) think him Q
myth,
"The irrepressible conflict" assumes most
serious aspect, aud may be explained thus: Old
Abe, who is q rail-splitter by profession, has at
present q large contract on hand Of 100000 900
acres Of pine timber, TO make into rails These
lands are situated somewhere "out west, the
precise locality being only known to the Repub-
licans, who expect hin to accomplish the job on
the 9th day Of March next, AID, 1860, and at
~ minutes before 12 NJ; at which tin e, and by
reason Of his long legs, he will reach the White
House at Washington In three steps. The dis
lance to travel will be nine thousand miles, mak-
ing three thousand at each stretch. So Gar, Old
la
On arriving at the White House, he will imme,
diately seize our Democratic President ly the
nape Of the neck with his lelt hand, and shake
him till he shakes him out Of his boots. He will
then get intn his bouts, aud with his murdcrous
weapon, the maui, which he has used to such
good advantage for years, will commence on old
Cass and the rest Of his party, and maui them rs
he would . pine log, till Gf | may use the ex-
pressiOH) there Is not grease spot OF the party
Ieh. Thi-, my dear madam, is what we call Stho
irFepressibe conflict" Obi my friends, just
imagine the collision. u ever Old Abe gets fair
home at old Joe Lanes pate. You will therefore
SEQ the folly Of trying 10 find market for some
Of your Oountrywomen, though the Bachelors
notice IN the Herald did not exclude the Irish
any more than the American ladies from taking
chance; still there are too many raiEspltters
here, who would object 10 anything from the
"0ld Dart" may further INFORM you that al
rail-spltters have . strong native antipathy FOR
everything from the "Green Isle, and should
they elect their President, Old Abe, We In Pierce
county are settled for the rails which Old Ab has
been making 80 long viii be shipped to ireland
by the q, s. Friate Massachusetts, commal ded
BY another great railspltter, called Fauntleroy,
aud the dear old country will be immediate y
fenced IN. II is further determined BY said rail-
spltters TO build large raft, get US all corralcd
thereon annOink our Irish liOvernor (Mc(iiln
commander, and start US out Of the Sound some
line morning; novel way Of getting rid Of US,
| know, and |, for one, object 10 the mole Of
procedure. In the first place, am only expires.
sing the sentiments Of all my countrymen In
Pierce county when say that I object n ost EN-.
phatically to McGills being captain Of the raft.
would rather have Pat Fowler or Murty Fey
for pilot Gov. McGill has bamboOzled us out IL
our Capitol, and in doing 50 has brought down
upon himself the contempt Of all bis countrymen
In Steilacoom. As punishmentfor his extreme
dullness Of perception on the Capitol question,
the rail-splitters will have to iind him boat for
himself as our party is determined to leave BY
the overland Pony Express, when the time Gomez.
have now, my dear madam, explained to You
tie dark side Of the picture. If Judge Douglas
should bs elected President, then all Of US will
be right again, for Judge Douglas has strong
Irish proclVities, and his wife Is Roman Cath
olic. So here rests our only chance.
You will now perceive that our country Is in
distracted state; and, should Old Abe be elected
President, and get that pOndrrous mallet Of his
at work, Col help the poor foreigners.
Accept, my dear madam, the assurance Of my
most distinguished consideration, and believe me
to be one Of your countrymen out Of luck.
w.n.w.
Kossuth Is in Paris. He has not lately taken