Daily Nashville patriot. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1860-1862, 1860-10-05
SELECTED ITEMS.

Indians may be considered the cooper
faced type OF mankind.
II shall never get out of this SeIape alive, ,
as the hog said when they were rubbing tn.
bristles off his back with clam-shells ant
boiling water.
a woman asked her gardener why the
weeds always outgrew and covered up the
| f1owers2 Madam" he answered, 1.-The soil
is mother of the weeds. but only step-mother
of the flowers
Let me kiss him for his MOTHER Is the
song of the ladies where the Prince of Wales
is travelling.
Women who sue for breach of promise
may fail to get money, but they generally
receive heavy damages.
"Only marry me, my dear lady, and you
will have seen the end of trouble" "Yes,
sir, but which end?"
Why is the first chickens of brood like
the foremost of ship? Because it's little
for'ard of the main hatch.
A friend of ours, who left the editorial fra
ternity year ago, is now engaged in rails
ing pigs. So he has again taken the pen in
hand.
Fun is worth more than physic, and who
ever invents or discovers a new source of
supply deserves the name of public beuefac-
tor
Why is stove an agreeable affair in sum-
mer as well as in winter? Because at either
season it is always grateful when coaled-
1t is the opinion of the doctor that the
lawyer gets his living by plumber, while the
lawyer thinks the doctor gets his by 'pil-
lager
ATRocIoUs.-"Betsy, my dear" said Mr.
Stubs, giving his wife pair of damaged un-
mentionables, "have the goodness to mend
these trousers; it will be as good as going to
the play tonight" Mrs. Stubbs took her
needle, but confessed she couldn't see the |
point. How so?" said she. "Why, nv
dear. you will see the wonderful rapels In the |
pant o mine" Mrs. Stubbs finished the job, |
and handing back the trousers told Stubs
'that's darned good"
why, isn't my shirt cleans" quoih one
BOhemi an to another. well, yes" was the
answer, ats clean for brown, but it's awful |
dirty for white" |
A CHESS CoNUNDRUx.-Why are all games
IF chess of equal durationf Because it
axes just four knights 20 play every game.
A convention of BIoomer damsels Is re-
ported to have resolved that they will wear
hort dresses or nothing. What an awful
hing it would be If they shouldn't wear the
hort dresses?
Es- The easiest thing for negro TO do
eep dark.
gss- The Prince of Wales has been form
lily invited to visit Detroit.
Gas- YOU'RE entitled to the floor" as the
lcmber of Congress remarked, when he
nocked down an opponent
YS- Nothing so destroys our peace of c
lind as to hear another express his intention l
} give US piece of his
ES- Sawdust pills are said to be an excel
mt remedy for the dyspepsia, if taken In
dollhouse.
5ns- A thousand dollar carriage, made
irty years ago at Middleton, Con-, for Gen. P
lckson TO ride in, has recently been sold for 2
l6 80.
re- Sweet are the uses OF adversitJ-es-
polt v in NJ l. L. Al, i
oportion TO the number and variety of their !.
ials. -
vs. Wife, (eomplainingly,) Il haven't Q
ore than third of the bed.u
Husband, (triamphantly,) That's all the
W allows you"
Gr Miss M. says that the first time
lung man squeezed her dress, she felt az Is a. !,
e was in the land where the rainbow comes m
'm. Astonishing how poetic little bit of al
gging makes some people. "
ss- That's part of the sinking fund.- az Is
chap said when box Of specie went to the :
tom of the river. d
gs- ''Porter," asked an old lady of an
SD railway porter, ''when does the nine o.
'ck train leave?n "Sixty minutes past \
,ht, num-" was Mixes reply.
~ One great difference between Japan
the United States is, that if you insult q
m there he rips his own bowels out, while
yoa insult one here, he rips ont yours.
1
fouSG HENAs.-In order 10 anuse the
ldren on the Sabbath, q lady was engaged
emily In reading to them from the Bible s..
! story OF David and Gollah, and coming r.,
the passage in which Goliah SO boastIngly
dehantly darsd The young STRIPPING,