, 1860-10-05
a Tan Mans Troubles.

The Inconvenience Of an immodcuilly t1l
ssaspEs Iai. rvs. Es haEs Sisn hsaga alrQg upqn y
more pathetically than By IN agod bachelor
friend of ours, who stands six ieet four n BIS
stocking fret Il IS 70 this melancholy l1rd
factr-this Sad, insupcrnble calamity that oIlI-
took him between The ngps Of Iouneeu nn1
twenty-that he attributes bis urstchcd con
ditiOR Of single blessedness. -Four times has ~
fallen on knees, (ihe ne PIN uliTa ol humble
aiIsction) and Oilrred himsolf % ng many chi-
sen ones Of his heart -Four times has hc 1stn
jeeringly refused.
The iirst girl at whose feet he prosirniod him
solf-a gay, laughing. rosy little witch Of cigh-
ieen-begged him 20 pick himself Immediately
up Il must be very incunvenicnt II not painful,
she 81 id lor one 50 long lefged 70 lI1 IN lIal
position. She was proud ul The affection a ono
Who siood % high IN The world; but being un,
ambitious IN her views, and prelrrlng IN hum
bic obscure station IL ll6 % couIling The Nol|d1
gaze, she " respectfully declined bis pIop11lIk"
The second gifl-aho unIuckily vas q d'nI'I>
uiive = hobo a. the firSl--erpIcl much iron
leal aogoW ior her unhappy hla but 4 ~
plain a . glnDoe that they did not match and
besides. she was extremely sensitive % lhl cod
during tho winter. md thsfolofg very pari1l -
small, low-postud ruolnh which would. i ~
married him. deprive her Of her husbands apci-
e,y till spring.
His third inamoSaia exenssd hsusSH by ~
ing that she thought husbands and wives oaglt
10 walk aFm-inArm in the streets, which IN ffnif
case would be maniltstly impo2fblb Bosidrn
she couldn't accept his hand at The marriage
ceremony without mounting sto1l-and that
would be 90 ludicroua ~
The fourth and last of his dulcinca1- - 11rlant
girl, 70 whom in sheer despair be. oll1ed him
solf as his lnst chance ere be roTged lnlo thp
@ssrO and yellow Of con1m,ei cslI1acy-
turned him sn answer morp cutting ihnn Al ~
previous OneG Making very loH courtesy.
and putting On . look q extru1Is humidity, -
replied, with malicious alectaligh. that ahu unq
but mean body, poor servant GID, ard could
not think Of iookfng . Aga
In the ancient town Of Noubufrh, On 10
Hudson, there resides an old Scolchmanr by Lha
name Of john Smith, or, Is be calls Il 6nn1
whose vocation Il Is 70 supply buiinrm|Ik 70 huif
lies IN The mornings Johnny Smulh i - well
known in NeWburgh D as Washington's statue j. n
New York he has worn the SANE old coal I0l
The last forty years and gone The usual dIuIInl
round. without days absonce. for the name
period. You would know that old coat i Jon
should meet itanywhefe; The collar covered with
age and snud, for Johnny Smuih > 4 great
snuieF. and, in this resp, o. be Q only oxcollEd.
" oue NtA1SAA ~ ANNANNA|uI -" N-A-N - -
Smnth. One day, Johnny having delivered bis
thick beverage, as was customary, made a second
call upon his customers, which was not Tho
reason Of this unusual visit can Be best expressd
in his own words: " You see gaid he. Ms,
Smuth put her nightcap fhls morning into The
buttsrmilk 10 bleach 4, and lbrgol % lla 4 and
I'm looking for q" Our informant aaya ne
lady who told him the story happily lahcd ~
the cap, rolled IN Wci swld, from her butter.
milk, and returned Il 10 the anxious John, and
both parties were saiisded.
Ths nswspapsF b lnW-book ~ lho lniolsni
. ssrmon iof he thoughill1s, and library ~
he pooF,-it may nilmulale the most lndiI|IruA
L may instruct the most pro1unL An| u|Il
truth might ho added-uny beeome o. I1|NI
lioksplltle crnuler % = We dlmag9ln. l-I'I. /.
vel asths proud guardian q . natloph llan'R
A nan vas waking quiclly dosn ~ ..l.1i
the other day, uhon hc ual suddenly struck rI
athOushi end knoehsa nio iha gutter.
To gsi ~ q Ne rnsn q oil-ptinl. % >
handful &c hay h : pa1 a u1lli. nn1 ~ \
silnd N = ro1n nsuly ra'ulcd.
Iunoanss asd coassil uIs lso q - uuI
qualities % cnmhal liis anaiu = c'lru'l NI|0
ssiatusmah than hlolkhoa