Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1860-12-10

RARNEY pusAN,s rEsTrMoNY

we laNS an
whom we call Msjor-a gallant member of
the National Gusrd-the proprietor Of q first
rate saloon on Chestnut street-a handsome,
witty, big-hearted fellow, "whose nature is
like unto the nature of brick" The Major
has q most happy knack Of telling anecdotes,
and short time ago we heard him relate the
following, which We will give a near as We
can in his own words:
"You must know that il is one of the pecu-
liarities Of the Irish that when two Of them
get to quarreling, all who may be present i'm
mediately join in, and thus get up "a nice bit
of a row in the shortest possible notice. A
case of this kind occurred downtown last
week. In one Of the little streets running
from Broad, lives an Irish family rather re-
markabIe for their warlike propensities. The
daughter and son, both grown mp, got to quar-
reling, while at breakfast, and the daughter
threw a cup Of coffee in the brother face. He
retOrted with the nearest missile at hand. The
mother took the side of the daughter; and the
father of the son, and in q moment the fun
like that of Tam 0'Shanter's witches-became
sfast and furious The neighbors, Irish gen.
erally,) hearing the row, rushed to the door,
but did not attempt to stop the fight, and in a
few moments the fracas eliminated by the
father stabbing his wife with a carving knife.
By this time the police came and arrested the
whole party, including one innocent, ignorant
bog-trOtter, who had been calmly standing in
His arrest frightened him terribly, and the
assurance Of the officers that they only wanted
him for a witness, could not remove his agita-
ton. The whole party was taken to the Office
Of an alderman, and the case was brought up
for hearing. Said the alderman to the wit
ness:
What is your nsme?''
Barney Dugan, yer honor"
swell, Barney, tell what you know about
this case
CT will, yer honor. This morn I was takin'
my bite with Molly-that's the ould woman,
yer honor-when heard a divil NV a row
over at Tins. I ran to the door, sur, and
there 1 saw the daughter hev the bruther by
the hair nv the head, and the bruther was q
slatherin' her wild loaf Nv bread, when the
mOtEer she interfeared, and the ould man
gave her q wipe with the coffee-pot, knockin
her back from the table, when she grasped
hould Of the skillet and broke it over his head,
and the ould man then grabbed the oarvin'
knife from the table an stuck her in the
stumiek-an' that's all 1 know about it, yer
honor
"WiIl you swear to all this, Barney" asked
the aldermen.
"sure, L will, sur What shall 1 swear,
sure?"
"Why, kiss the book-the Bible; that is the
only kind of swearing we permit here"
I" An is this the good book / muse kiss? I'll
w thob euA0, yOI HOuOH Ji6t
unite that bit NV string, that may see if it is
the good book, indade?n
"That is hardly necessary" replied the al.
derman. " give you my work that that book
is the Bible, and that ought to satisfy you, I
think"
Sure, it does, sur; but I'd be better sat
fed if l saw it wild me two eyes fur meself. 1"
Well, stand back for the present, until we
see what the other witnesses have to say"
Barney took q seat on the bench, and the
case progressed to a conclusion. It was clear
that the woman had been stabbed in the row,
but none Of the witnesses swore that they saw
her stabbed, except Barney. He was, there
fore, again called up by the alderman
Barney Dugan, you swear positively that
you saw the prisoner stab the woman in the
fracasl"
Sur pa
'TOu swear you saw the prisoner stab the
woman in the fracas!" repeatsd the alder
man.
mo, sur; didn't say that at all, yer hon
or"
why, you a moment ago not only said it,
but swore to 1t. Will you repeat now what
you did see?''
Yes, sur, will. I saw Tim, there, stab
the ould woman wild a carvin' knife in the
stumick, but divil the bit did see him stab
her in the fracas, yer honor"
This explanation upset the gravity of the
court, and il was some moments before the
alderman could control his nerves sufficient to
bind Barney over to appear at court as wit
mesa part Of the proceedings which CON-
pletely disgusted the son of Green Erin"