The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1860-04-26
VARIETY.

y
Words are but wind. but seeing is believing.
You cannot make whistle Of pigs tail
Travellers entitled % courtesy and pOliteness
The who undertakes to conduct Il railroad train
should have learned 10 conduct himself.
The happest thing in life is to deserve and obtain
the love of valuable men; and the felicity Is to
get riI of fools and villains
We don't know that any person would BE- forgiven
by God for killing himself but certainly good many
would be freely forgiven by mankind
81 fear you are about sewed up said crUaking
friend to a cheerful invalid. "Oh, no, have only
one little stitch in my side
IL was said exquisite portrait that, to judge
by the eye, It did not want sPeech for this could be
detected only by the ear.
II s the part of wisdom TO do great things without
n fuss. When Solomon, the wisest of men, built his
wOndrous temple, no sound of saw hammer was
heard therein.
An Englishman is never happy but when he is
miserable; a ScOtchman is never at home but when
he Is abroad; and Irishman never a; peace but
when he Is at var.
IL am sure cannot live long, said a very dirty
looking patient To his physician Is that any
son. sir why you should carry dirt enOught to bury
you2'
SIyness or cunning il n characteristic Of pretty
large proportion Of the better of the sexes Many
woman, like the Spartan boy, carries fox in her
bosom
What Is the difference between n butcher and a
young lady: Ans.-The former kills to dress while
the latter dresses to kill.
AFFErTarIoN ATec:atiou in anypart Of
riage, Is lighting up candle to our defects, and
fails make taken notice of, either as want
ing sense, or sincerity.
AFFLCrIOSs.-The affections, like the conscience,
rather be le than driyen and it rs to be fear
ell that they who marry where they do not love, will
love where they do not marry
IL am afraid, dear wife, that. while I am gone.
absence will conquer love- Never fear dear the
I,ru he brtte | @hftll ke
\ patent MEDICINE agent, named Carr, committed
suicide at Marietta Ohio, last Friday, by hanging
himself Pity the rest of his brethren would not fol-
low his example
won by degrees CertainIy-win first her ears and
eyes, then her heart, then her lips, and then her
hands
\ penuy-a-liuer, recording the career OF mad
dog. s1ys, - We sorry say that the rabId ami
NAL before it could he killed, severely bit his master
AMI several Otier dogs
IL mean To abandon my habits Of life said
di.siplted gentleman. Are you sure sir, they
not abandoned enough already - asked MS friend
Some one was telling an Irishman that some body
had eaten ten saucers Of ice cream; Whereupon Pat
shook his head - SO yOu don't believe it - With
shrewd nod Pat answered, II behave III the crane,
but not in the siucers-'
BuIwer says that death often changes aversion
into love" Certainly it does. We may have an an
tipathy to swine. and yet love pork and sausage-
Prentice
1t II blessed thing for a poor to have con-
tented wife; one who will wish to live in style
beyond her husbands income just because her next
door ueighbor doe; who be happy in the love
Of her husband. her home and its beautiful duties,
without asking the world for smiles or its favor
\ contemporary don't like the sentimental termina
ton Fannie. Susie, Adiie. Hattie etc, and thinks
il would Just sensible stick the ie TO the end
Of the family name also, as, for instance, Annie
Jonesie, Susie Snooksts, etc
A SNOWMAN SoLD ''-ShOwmen a general
rule are toIeraby SHARP and IL il easy matter
to Overreach them; but when they fooled 1t Is
matter Of great amusement TO those present was
witness OF the best ''sells Of the kind have
heard Of. Last summer there was an exhibition
IN tent on one Of public lOts-a sort of men
agerie on a small scale Before the entrance TO the
tent the proprietor bOasting Of the innumerable
wonders 90 be seen for n shilling, TO n considerable
crowd While in the midst OF n speech overfo% wing
with large words, he summarily interrupted oy
the following exclamation from Il man near him, who
had a toy with him.
''I'Il bet you Give that you can not let me see
that lion -
Done said the Snowman, eagerly. "put up your
money
The man placed FIVE dollar bill in the hands Of =
by-stander, and the Snowman counting out the
change, did the
'' Now walk this way" said the Snowman; land
III convince yOu.'
The man and his little boy followed him into the
tent, the whole crowd following.
ihere, Siid tue shOWtOeh IIiunPhahttJ- ONn
IN that corner NJ that beautiful NumIdIan lion :!
''Wheres" asked the man, looking in every direc-
ton but the right
"Why, there - was the astonished reply.
"I don't see any, responded the other
whats the matter with you 80 asked the show
man, who began to ''smeI G very large mice
''Fm blind - was the grinning reply.
That Snowman was very industriously employed IN
turning out the crowd, for the next few minutes
while the blind man pocketed the stake and went nj;
way.