Monmouth weekly herald. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1854-1860, 1860-01-05
humorous Skettb.
ADVERTISING FOR A WIFE.

adv EEI1S1NO EUR A WIFE.
Mr. Fondloye conceives some very ro-
mantle notions now and then, and having
no regular business to see after, he anus
es himseifb by putting his romantic notions
into practice. He was married to an
estimable lady of wealth and beauty, six
or eight years ago. but for the 6 fun of
the thing he took i1sR2hj9 head to ad-
vertise for a wifeg He Accordingly put
a modest card into one of the city papers,
and received a score orsmore of commu-
nications in reply. 1t was capital joke,
and couple of weeks were spent in 90.
ing through the routine Of a personal
interview with each correspondent
There was one who avoided an actual
interview, but with well.penned epistles
almost infatuated Mr.. FondIove. He
suddenly became very literary and senti.
mental, and occupied most of his time in
writing letters to his bewitching incog.
nito, whose evident wit and talent
eclipsed everything. Indeed, Mr.. Fond
love was completely carried away with
the fair writer, and sadly neglected Mrs
Fondlove in his ardor for the pleasures
of mental communion with the idea Of
his too susceptible heart. Already he
began to compare the merits of the I'm.
known with those Of Mrs. Fondlove, and
halt cursed himself TO think that he
should ever ha4s>-sasss,.ssxa- ssseh woman.
Oh, what fool | have been" he ex
claimed. Here at last have the very
woman of my heart. and to think that
l am already married. Oh! it's enough
to MAIDEN one"
Mr.. Fondlove at last declared that he
could not live without his fair enslaver
and after long entreaty she finally con
sented to an interview. upon condition
that he should remain yelled while in his
presence. Ia this he assented-fearful
he should not see her at all if he refused
The momentous hour arrived. and with a
humping heart and an entire new suit
of clothes, and the costliest perfume in
his handkerchief and hair, Mr.. Fondlove
repaired to the appointed place, and
found the object Of his love already there
The interview was mutually interesting
and but for the odious veil, MIR. Fond
love would have been perfectly happy
However, in his ardor, he felt himsel
4" cursed = tn -,awr>S'esesggen wife
whom he never did nor never cou'o
love-" He would instantly apply to the
Legislature for divorce, and throw him
self at the feet Of the uncovered angel
She seemed to dislike the idea of his
marriage and project Of getting a di
vorce, but he grew so violent, and took
so many additional oaths of his unaltera
bic resolution and pure devotion, and in
treaty she yielded TO his earnest prayers
to disclose her features.
L fear you will be disappointed,
said she, hesitating.
Impossible p he cried, full of impa
thence. will love you forever =
But your wife, You may find her face
is equal to mine. You may perchauce
think better of your resolution and re
turn to her. l almost wish I had not
promised you"
Nay, but I must see yQug face" per
sisted Mr.. Fondlove.
=" Then pledge me your sacred word
that you will be true to me henceforth
from this hour until death !" she solemn
y said.
{" l swear it'll" grasped Mr.. Fondlove.
A simple movement of her hand threw
back her veil. and Mr.. Fondlove was
dumbfounded at beholding the face of his
own wife! Both started to their feet,
Mr.. Fondlove appeared to be on the
verge of instant flight to escape the ter
rible consequence of the dilemma, but
Mrs. Fondlove caught him by the arm
and conducted him home, where the mat
ter was amicably settled. Mr.. Fondlove
thinks his wife more lovely than when
he first courted her, and she never knew
how irresistible he really was until ad
venture gave her chance to test him.
But how did you come to answer my
advertisement J" 4asksAs sAlx.AEondlove.
Why, l saw you writing it out the
day before. | peeped over your should
er and read it. The next morning sure
enough, there it was among the Matri
moDials.' | thought two could play at
that game, and so l replied according to
the directions"
Mr.. and Mrs. Fondlove have gone to
the seaside to enjoy their second " honey
moon"