Western Reserve chronicle. [volume] (Warren, Ohio) 1855-1921, 1860-07-04
A LITTLE TOO PUNCTUAL-A
STEAMBOAT SKETCH.


crowd of passengers and friends of passen-
gers, newsboys, fruit venders, were assem-
bled on and about the boat We were gaz-
ing at the mOtely group from the foot of
the promenade-deck stairs, when our at
tention was attracted by the singular ac-
ton of a tall, brown Yankee, in an i'm
mense wool hat, ehocolate-eolored coat and
pantaloOns, and fancy vest He stood
near the steamboat paddle-bOx, scrutihized
sharply every female who came on board
every now and then consulting an enor-
nous silver bulls eye watch, which he
raised from the depths of capaciOus fob by
means of a powerful steel chain After
mounting guard in this manner, he dashed
furiously down the gang plank and up the
wharf, rcappearing almost instantaneously.
with flushed face, expressing the most
intense anxiety This series of operations
he performed several times; after which he
rushed about the boat, wildly and hopeless
ly calculating:
What's the time er day? Wonder if
my repeater's fast? Whar's the captain?
whar's the mate? whar's the boss that owns
the Ship"
What's the matter, sir? we ventured to
ask him, when he stood for a moment.
'Hain't seen nothin of o gal in blue
shawl, (cost fifteen dollars,) pink gown,
and brown boots, hey? Conc aboard while
l was looking for the cap'n at the pint end
of the ship-hare ye hey?'
No such person has como aboard
TOrmented ightninT she's my ,rite, he
screamed, married her yesterday. All
her trunks and mine are aboard, under
pile of baggage as tall as Connecticut
steeple. The darned black niger says he
can't hand it out, and l won't leave my
baggage, anyhow. My wife-only think
on twas to have come aboard at half
past four, and here it's most five. You
don't think she's been abducted? OH I'm
rayin' distracted! What are they ringing
that bell for? Is the ship afre?
1T is the signal for departure-the first
hell. The second bell will be rung in about
four minutes
Thunder you don't say so. Whar,s the
captain?'
The Yankee dartcd to the side of the
captain.
'Cap'n, stop the ship for ten minutes,
won YEP
4 can't do it, sir?'
But ye must, tell ye. III pay ye for
it. How much will We ax7'
i could not do it
'Gap'n, I'll give you two dollars, gaspcd
the Yankee.
The captain shook his head.
IN give ye five dollars and half-and
a half-and half' he kept repeating.
dancing about in his agony, like a mad
jackass on hot iron plate
The boat starts at five precisely said
the captain, shortly, and turning away.
OH you stunny hearted heathenY
groaned the desolate Yankee, almost burst |
into tears. 'Partin' man and wife, and We
just one day married.
At this moment tie huge paddle-wheels I
began to paw the water, and the walking
beam descended heavily, shaking the huge
fabric to her centre. All who were not 90
ing to New Haven went ashore. The
hands began to haul in the gang plank
the fasts are already loose.
Let go that plank rOarcd the Yankee,
collaring one of the hands Drop it like /
hot potato, or I'll hcave you into the
dock
'YO-yo! shouted the men, in chorus,
as they heaved on the gangway.
Shut up, you brayiug donkeysP yelled
the maddcned Yankee, 'or there'n be an
ugly spot of work
But the plank was got aboard and the
boat splashed past the pier.
In an instant the Yankee pulled his
coat of, flung his hat beside it on the deck,
and rushed wildly to the guard
Are you drunk or crazy?' cried a pas
senger, seizing him.
I'm going to fling myself into the dock
and swim ashore! cried the Yankee. Il
mustn't leave Sairy Ann alone in New York
city. You may divide the baggage among
We. Let me go, can swim
He struggled so furiOusly that the con-
of his rashness might have been
fatal had not a sudden apparition changed
his purpose. A pretty young woman in a
blue bonnet. white Canton Grape shawl.
pink dress and brown boots, came towards
him. I
The big brown Yankee uttered one stem
torian shout of 'Sairy Ami clasped her in
his arms in spite of her struggling and
kissed her heartily, right before all the
passengers.
Where did you come from? he inquired
From the ladies cabin answered the
bride. 'You told me half-past four. but
1 thought I'd make sure and come at four
a little too punctual,' said the Yankee.
But it's all right now. Halo, cap'n. you
can 60 ahead now. l don't care about
stopping. Come nigh gettin' drown'd,