The Council Bluffs nonpareil. [volume] (Council Bluffs [Iowa]) 1857-1867, 1860-02-04
GT Never be caught mapping, except in
the night time.

- -
q Never be caught mapping, except in
the night time.
O.. know, said Tipsey, watesie 6ns
thing, but it is so dreadful thin.
~~
CT There is no place like home except
the girl your after.
wThe man who was struck by thought
has so far recovered as to be out again. +
c. Sin is bad in tho eye, worse ~ ~
tongue, worse still in the heart, bat worst
of all in true life.
cTIf you have bad name abroad, stay
Mt home and avoid evil, but il Jon hsve ..
good name-stay at home and keep it.
-s>~-
cT A preacher in Wisconsin offers q
reward for ga Wisconsin christian" who
can be recognized as by the world, a. such,
without the aid of a church label"
eyWhy is q fool in high station Ike Q
man in balloon? Because every body APP
pears small to him, and he appears small to
every body. sssa. a, -, sa8.
CO The human heart, like feather bed
must be roughly handled, well shaken and
exposed to variety Of turns, to prevent its
becoming hard.
CO A busy body-one who generally
has no bushes in this world beyond making
it his business to neglect his own business,
in order to attend the business Of others.
20 A letter was lately received at the
Chicago P. o., directed g To an honest
Man" The chief sent it to the dead letter
department, with the candid confession, that
tho man addressed did not live in Chicago.
ser An Eastern paper, in describing the
effectof thunder shower says-"A COW
was struck by lightning and instantly killed
belonging to the village physician, who had
beautiful calf four years DID,"
CT. The Chinese method Of taking of
boots is as follows They place the bro.
gan in vice and apply a yoke to the neck,
worked by wheel, which only stops work.
ing when the boot or the head comes of.
cy-" What Is that dog barking at p
asked a fop, whose boots were more polish
ed than his ideas. "Why," replied by
stander, "because he sees puppy in your
, boots"
CT A dun was somewhat taken the 9th.
er day by the GOODNESS with which debtor
ssid Z" Call next Thursday, my dear sir,
exactly at 10 o'clock and III tell you when
to call again."
gry Some men are indolent by nature !:
the marrow works out of their bones in in
fancy. Give them a streak of sunshine, and
an empty barrel, and they will fall asleep
at Midday.
c. A person having occasion to notify
his doctor to visit his wife, said to him as
he was stepping into the chaise: "Now
doctor, you'll drive to kill, won't you ?''-
Yes, certainly, replied the doctor.
CT The following is good advice to per-
sons visiting composing rooms Of printing
Offices and other business places, which we
find in an exchange paper: Shut the door,
and when you have done talking, serve your
mouth the same way.
O. Doctor, looking learned and speak
ing slow well, mariner, what tooth do you
want extracted? Is it molar or an Incl
sor ?" Jack short and sharp: g 1t is in the
upper tier, on the larboard side. Bear a
hand, you swab, for it is nipping my jaw
like lobster"
CYAN eastern editor says that man in
New York got himself into trouble by mar
rying two wives. ,. ....
western editor replies by assuring his
contemporary that good many men in that
section have done the same thing by marry
ing one. & w. ~. - 49,. 80
A northern editor retorts that quite a
number of his acquaintance found trouble
by barely promising to marry, without going
any further.
A southern editor SAYS that he was both
cred enough by simply being founl in COM
pany with another mans wife.
CT A doctor was employed by poor
man to attend his wife, who was danger
ously i'll. The doctor gave hint that he
had fears of not being paid. .Tsrgr
81 have thirty dollars" said the man to
the doctor, Sand if you kill or cure you shall
have them" @
The woman died on the doctors hands,
and after a reasonable time he called for his
thirty dollars. tgIwr4
The man asked the doctor if he had killed
his wife? r.--..~-
"No." sr.F.E II
"Did you cure herr"
'No."
"Then" said the man, you have no legal
demand.'
GOING HOME. --'-+ p r
The following incident is related in con-
nection with the disaster at Lawrence:
touching incident is related of COM
pany Of girls, who were safe and compare.
lively uuinjured, until the FIRE broke out
They would soon have been rescued if the
Haunnrirr LII