Pomeroy weekly telegraph. [volume] (Pomeroy, Meigs County, Ohio) 1860-1866, 1860-07-10
0dlit and ddlisdunt.

the precursor OF cry-sls
nA- There are great many beams in
the ladies' eyes, but they are all sun
beams.
nea- Why is the devil quite gentle
man Because the imp of darkness
can't be imp-olight.
saF Tranquil pleasures last the long
est. We are not fitted to bear long the
burden of great joys.
nea-A Christian enjoys himself. A
Cannibal enjoys other people: quite an
interesting difference.
s@- Trusting to luck, is trusting to
time. and time is the most unreliable of
all things with its fruits.
By Adapt your means to your ends !;
don't waste your time trying to pick up
live cells with a pair of tongs.
s@The spire of very fashionable
church is usually the only thing connec-
ted with it that goes toward heaven.
~ Four things come not back: the
past life, the broken word, the sped ar
row, and the neglected opportunity.
RsgThe latest question started is
"Can a man, suffering under extreme
poverty, be cured by power of attorney" !"
ssgThe locusts have already made
their appearance in great numbers, in
the perfect or winged state, in some
portaens of Virginia.
aA-A little rosin, powdered and
busted over seeds when sown, effect
ually protects them from the depreda-
tions of birds and mice.
BG-A penitent man should be for
given; but, unless you can insure the
removal of the mental taint, it does not
follow that he is fit for safe intimacy.
sm- 1t is a we'll authenticated fact that
a lady in Connecticut, when last confined
was+deliyered of colt Her husband
is the patentee of celebrated revolver.
No. De Quincy being asked why there
were more women than men, replied ''1t
is in conformity with the arrangements
of Nature; we always see more of Heaven
than Earth.
HaE What is that which goes when a
wagon goes, stops when wagon stops,
is of no use to the wagon, and yet the
wagon can't go without it? The noise.
to be sure.
Hg There are refined kinds Of senti-
ments as there are of sugar; man, for in
stance, takes his in the lump-hard,
though easily melted with a tear; but
with woman it is always moist.
BpCause and effect. "Why, Hans,
you have the most feminine cast Of coun-
tenance I ever have SEEN" ooh, yaw,' y
replied Hans, II know the reason for
dat-mine moder vas voomans'
DH~A dun was somewhat taken back
the other day by the GOODNESS which a
debtor said Call on me next Thursday
my dear sir, exactly at ten o'clock, and
I'll tell you when you can call again. "
pa-" "Jack," said man to lad just
entering his teens, "your father S
drowned!''
''Darn it'' replied the young hopeful
"and he's got my knife in his pocket
pA-" "Hallo! say, what did you say
your medicine would cure?''
"Oh, it will cure everythiug-heal ev-
erything.''
"Well, I'll take bottle; maybe it'll
heelmy boots-they need it bad enough .
nA-A boss mechanic down East, who
was about leaving home the other day
said to his head apprentice, "You must
occupy my place while I am gone"
Thank you, sir,' replied the EN-.
ployee, s'but I'd rather sleep with the
boys"
r@sY ou sot," exclaimed a poor wo.
man to her husband, 'tyou are always al
the tavern getting drunk with hot punch
while / am at home with nothing tc
drink but cold water"
'Cold! you silly jade, why don't you
warm it, then?''
neA-Aunt E was trying to per
suade little Eddy to retire at sundown
.,"You see, my dear, how the little chick
ems go to roost at that time" aye:
aunty," replied Eddy, "but the old her
always goes with them" Aunty tried nc
more arguments with him.
sm-Sydney Smith, the wise and witty
parson, somewhere remarks in his many
spicy Talks:
"Country life is very good, in fact, the
best-for cattle; but as for me, I mus
have Society,"
No Society in the eountry-why so
bTAn English paper says that Gen
Dred Scott commands the United States
Army.
5 We don't wonder at the above mistake
They have reason to "Dred" old Lun
dy's Lane over there.-New Orlean
True Delta.
B9rAn agent soliciting subscriber
for new book, showed the psospectu
to man who, after reading zone dolla
in boards, and one dollar and quartz
in sheep" declined subscribing, "al
Ieging that he might not have boards o
sheep enough ON hand when called upol
for payment"
HeA,A mother writes us that her littl
girl, seeing her father tap maple trees
asked: "Why not tap apple trees t
get cider?" That would only be actin
like great many people who, in thei
haste to arrive at coveted results, ar
perpetually attempting to anticipate tn
process of Nature.
sA-A fashionable portrait painter
when asked what are his terms, invari
ably answers:
II have no scale of prices. In fact,
generally leave it open to the liberalit
of my patrons. I have but one rule t
guide me in taking Ekenesses, and that
q ho candid is sIan.lSnnn l. II: h