Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1860-10-11
Mrs. BIS Alarms.

those produced by a delusion under. which
she labors. that there are assassins. gnomes,
vampires. or what not. in our house at night
and that it is my duty to leave my..bed at
any hour or temperature. and to do, battle
with the same in every inadequate appar-
rel. The circumstances which attend Mrs.
BIS alarms are generally of the following
kind. am awakened by the mention Of
my baytismal name, in that peculiar rspe-
cies of whisper. which has something un-
canny in its very nature. besides the dismal
associations which belong to it, from the
fact Of its being used only in melodramas
! and sick rooms:
| Henry, Henry. Henry ar ~
| How many times she has repeated this,
II know not; the sound falls on my ear like
the tapping of a hundred waves, or as the
f, Robin Crusoc. Robin Crusoe' of the par
rot smote upon the terrified islander Of De.
foe; but at last wake, TO view. by the dim
freight. this vision: Mrs. d. is sitting up
beside me in a listening attitude of the
very intensest kind; her ,night-cap Zone
with cherry colored ribons, such as it can
be no harm to speak about, is tucked back
behind either ear: her hair-in paper-is
rolled out Of the way on each side like n
banner fnrled; her eyes are rather wide open
and her mouth very much so; her fingers
would be held up to command attention,
bnt that she is supporting herself in some
what absurd manner upon her hands:
Henry, did yon hear that?
What. my love?' -
That noise. there it is again; there
there
The disturbance referred to is that caused
BY mouse nibbling at the wainscot; and
| venture to say so much in tone Of the
deepest conviction.
No. no. Henry. it's not the least like
that; it's file working at the bar Of the
pantry window. Twill stake my existence,
Henry. that it is file.'
Whenever my wife makes use Of this par
ticuar form If words-l know that resis-
tance is useless. l rise and put on my
dressing gown. Mrs. b. refuses to let me
have the candle. because she will die Of
terror if she is left alone without light.
She puts the poker into my hand, and with
a gentle violence is about to expel me from
the chamber. when a sudden thought
strikes her.
Stop bit. Henry she excla;ms, until
l have looked into the cupboard and pla-
ces; which she proceeds to do most minute
ly, investigating even the short drawers of
a foot and a half square. am at length
dismissed upon my perilous crrand, and
Mrs. b. locks and double locks the door be-
hind me with celebrity that almost catches
my rctrcating garment. My expedition
therefore combines all the dangers Of a
sally. with the additional lisadva itagcs Of
having my retreat into my own fortress
cut off. Tins cumbreusly bnt Intellectually
,caparisone,l. perambulate the lower sto-
RIGS of the house in darkness, In search of
that disinrber of Mrs. BIS rcpose. which,
I am well convinced. is behind the vain
scot Of her own apartment, and nowhere
else. The pantry. need not say, is as si-
lent rs the grave, and about as cold. The
great clock in the kitchen looks spectral
enough by the light Of the expiring embers,
but there is nothing there with life except
black beetles. which crawl In countless
numbers over my naked ankles. There is
a noise in the cellar sre'l as Mrs. d. woul,l
at once identify with the Suppressed con-
verse Of anticipative burglars. but which
recognized in a moment as the dripping OF
a small beer cask. whose tap is troubled
with nervous d;sorganiz.tion of that kind.
The dining room is chill and cbecrlcss, d
gho>tly arm chair is doing the grim honors
Ut the table to three other vacant seats,
and dispensing hospitality in the shape of
a mouldy orange anil some biscuits, which
remember to have left in some DISCUS,
about- Hark! the clicking of a re.
volver? MOI the warning Of the great
clock-one. two. three What frightful
noise it makes in the ear OF night! Twelve
o'clock. left the dining room, then. bu,
three hours and half ago; it certainly
does not look like tile same room now
The drawing room is also FAR from wear.
ing It's usual snug and comfortable appear.
ance. Could we possibly have been sitting
; in the relative positions to one another
which these chairs assume? Or since We
9 we're there, has some spiritual company
with no eye for order left among them, ta.
ken advantage of our 6re TO hold reunion
They are here even at this moment Der.
haps, and these gentlemen have not yet
roine DIP from the dining room. | slad.
der from head to foot. partly at the idea oI
such q thing. and partly from the naked
fact of my exceedingly unclothed conditi m.
They do say tina: in the very passage which
have now to cross. in order to get to Mrs.
B. again. my great grandfather walks. in
compensation. / suppose. for having been
prevented by gout from taking that species
Of exercise while he was alive. There are
more things in heaven and earth than are
dreamed Of in your philosophy. think as
approach this spot: but l do not say so,
= for am well nigh speechless with the cold,
yes. the cold; it is only my teeth that chat
ter. What . scream that was! There it
comes again. and there is no doubt this
time as to who is the owner Of that terri
: fed voice. Mrs. BIS alarms have evident
ly taken some other direction. Henry.
Henry she cries. in tones of very toler-
able pitch. A lady being in the case,
jfiy on wings of fdomestic love along the pre-.
cincts sacred to the perambulations of my
grandfather. arrive at my wife's cham
Der. the screams conkinuc. but the door is
still locked. -. -.
Z open, opcnr / shouted. What, on
earth is the matter? .ff
There is silence; then a. mans voice
4 that is to say, my wife's voice in imitation
lofIa msu's-replics. in tones of indignant