Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1860-03-03
MISCELLANY.
TITLES.

In the early times of the Massachusetts Col
ony, one Mr. Josiah Plaistowe, having been
guilty of stealing corn, it was solemnly adjudged
as a part of his punishment, that thenceforward
he should be called by the name of Josiah, and
not Mr. as he used to be. Such, in that print
tive age, was the value attached to title, which
in these days is in so little esteem, that to call
a man simply Mr., is to set him down as very
common man. In fact, there are but very few
men of our acquaintance, who would be willing
to take letter out of the Office, addressed
to plain Mr. ]. Smith or Mr. J. Brown, while the
same men would feel quite honored by putting
handle to the other end of their name, and
be called J. Smith, Esq, or ]. Brown, Esq
1t is an old adage that "freedom breeds con-
Tempt" and we suppose the title Professor has
come into contempt by its too frequent use
Formerly we used to associate with the title
Prof, learned, sedate person, whose special
duty it was to instruct collegians in the most
difficult and abstruse sciences and in the dead
languages; men who passed their lives i'll their
libraries, studying big volumes, until they grew
to be as dry and as musty as the old books
themselves.
form class in Biology. Prof. b. that he is
prepared to execute the most life like pictures
of yourself or friends. Prof. c. will commence
his next class in dancing, next -. Prof. ID.
will tell your fortune. Prot. Z. will cure your
corns. Prof F. will "call spirits from the vastly
deep" Prof G. will dress the ladies hair in
the latest Partisan style. Prof. Ii. will perform
flew magic tricks. Prof. l. will take out grease
Spots and so on to the end of the alphabet
What come-down to our imaginary Professor.
How would some of our grandfathers stare if
they could read the newspaper advertisements.
So too of other titles once, they were consid-
cred highly honorable; years of unremitting
study would be given to acquire them; but now,
they are usurped by every charlatan who travels
the country. When you hear a man called Dr.,
does the title give you any idea of what kind OF
man you are talking about? Is he wise or
foolish? learned or unlearnedp Is he doctor
of medicine, or of divinity, or dentist, or an
apothecary, or an essence pedlar, or a seventh
son, or what?
The love for military titles is national fol-
Bile, a national weakness. 1t is said that there
are more Generals, Colonies, Majors and Cap
tains in the United States than there were ever
men in her armies on the tented field. A cap
tain of steamboat on the Mississippi river
who has served and fought in the battles of the
Texas revolution, offered free passage in his
boat to any soldier who had participated in a
certain engagement One day man claimed
free passage, asserting that he was in that
battle. He was referred to the captain. sin
what capacity did you serve," was the enquiry
"high private" was the reply. STRANGER said
the captain, "give me your hand, l have passed
two thousand six hundred and eighty who
were in that fight and you are the first private
have SEEM"
A title may be of service to man, particu
larly if he gets into difficulties, as the following
will exemplify In the time of the Dorr Rebel
lion in Rhode Island, certain enthusiast, wei
known as keeper of an oyster saloon in Bos
ton, went to the war, and after the battle o
Chepatchet found himself prisoner. He wa
called up for examination, and asked his name
"Danel White, F. X. S." was the reply. II,
was treated with the respect due to one bearihs
so imposing title and in short time set a
liberty. Soon afterward friend asked him
what "F. r. S." meant. "Fried, Roasted anC
Stewed," said Daniel.-C2inton Coua,h.