Daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1865, 1860-06-01
A Nice Take on:

A Nice Take on.
DISPATCH FROM WASHINGTON FROM THE IA
PANEsE AMBASSADORS TO THEIR TYCOON.
To Moonshi, tie Son Of Hum.-Oh, thou
favorite of the sky, upon whom the plan
cts have looked down in love, behold
transmit thee the sentiments of my heart
imprinted on barbarian paper. We were
received in Washington by n body of
dignitarIes whom they call hHckmcn-nnd
an officer of two swords, called Spesh-al
Ar tist, welcomed us to the shore. He
offered his hand, but it was unwHshed,
and we pressed on. 1t is an institution of
the servants with pomp, md to per-
nit the princes to walk Unattended
Thus did they receive uS, oh son of Frum,
escorting our mcnials to the chariots,
while Mooragakc, Prince of Awaidki,
walked alone. Such is the simplicity of
republican institutions, but it is not pleas
ing to princes.
In walking to the cllariots, which the
Tycoon had appointed TO use, we met ma
ny women; their form was one of beauty,
(oh, son of Frum, thou who art thyself a
father, wilt comprehend and we said unto
each other: The husbands of these ladies
viii soon have JOY; this is IL fruitful land;
NdmOO Amad! But, behold, our souls
were mistaken; we learned that this peo-
pie called this thing "hoops," and that
women of MANY hoops is as honorable rs
the E0mi of many swords. To nc, oh
Moonski, this dress is pleasant for it is
typical. Does not Nature cnvclop her
sweetest kernels in many wrappigs and
surroundings? and is it not meet that wo-
man should be thus guarded? Let me re-
mark that the women of this land are of
surprising loveliness; that they are great in
talk; and that they go everywhere!
u1ike lis the Rr@etes in NRh2n NRn IS sYh&Fs h&Fs
the custom to shake his neighbor's, and
also to shake the hands of servants and
varlct children, according to the teachings
of Democracy. Nor is there any law com
pelling the people to wash before practic-
ing this ceremony: For this reason VIC
did not know why they called this city
Washington, until it was explained that
that was the name of n great mandarin
who discovered the country and killed the
former Tycoon, who was called Te-cum-
sch The image of this Washington,
and another great mandarin, jackson, are
set up in Il public place that the people
may worship. They are mounted on
horses, and from the manner in which
they sit we learn that though great man
dnrins they were very bad horsemen, but
their couutrymen should have hidden this
fact. Nor are their horses such stecds of
beauty as one would expect to see under
men who were loved by the sky, and upon
whom the moon had raincd wisdom, for
the one carries his tail between his legs
like Niphon dog, and the other walks
upon his hind legs, which cannot be com
Portable to the ridcr-we have better horses
in JctldO.
We have bowed to the Tycoon of this
land. 1t will interest thee to know, oh,
son of Frum, that like the Grand Lama of
our country he is forbidden to marry, aud
vet women are permitted to come into his
presence, even women of surprising
beauty, which must be to him source of
rI eat grief. And likewise the women arc
permitted to talk in the palace, which is
unlike to the practice of Jcddo. The
tycoon has similitude to an Oriental
Like our people he is reserved and talkcth
not much; his manner is like that of
Simhe- -Buzcn-nO- -Kami, but his toSIki, this
people call them trOtrscTS,) do not fit so
well as our Ambassadors, nor docsh bow
with the graceful ease ofNiphonesc, which
is pity, for he might then pass for a great
Mandarin. The people call him Old Buck,
him n Great Bore A buck has two horns,
and is of higher caSse than man of two
swords. But the people incline not to
their Tycoon, and shortly since summoned
a Con-ven-tiOn to meet i'll newly dis
covered country, South KMr o-lin0, {"
ulace as distant from tLe United States as
Taknm-at-su in from O-sa-kH,) for the pur-
pose of choosing another. But the soul OF
buchanan grew sick, and in fear that he
would commit kdrri karri, the Con-vcn-tion
did nothing, and now he will be Tycoon
until he dies, which 'haPpy dispatch will
fill the land with JOY. But, oh, son OF
Frnm, thou knowcst that we do these
things better in Niphon. Ndmmo 1add'
Will it surprise thee to know that our
Embassy is received with such distin-
guishcd favor because OF the darkness OF
our complexion For it is Il fact that the
pcoplc love those whose skins are bur
nished hv the sun. In token of this they
send ships across the sea to bring them to
this favored land, and place them in flow
cry gardens in IL part of the kingdom call
ed s:DOwu South,p where they are taught
to cultivate cotton, which the Scc-rc-t"-
ry-of- State informs me is q delightful em-
nloymcnt. and one which they like ex-
cccdingly. 1t is not improbable, oh,
Moonshi, that in the fulncss of time this
kind people will shower the same tavors
upon the Niponcse. Happy will the day
he when our children shall thus be taught
the arts of agriculture, and all of our de-
sccndants shall "cultiv0to cotton, in the
Southern part of this great kingdom, sing
| ing NUmOO 1m0di.
/ would deliueate more of my heart, OH
son Of Frum but this is the time OF tne
day at which the Tycoon of this people
bnthes his throat with cooling lotlon
called whisky, in which ceremony, II Is