Ashtabula weekly telegraph. [volume] (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1853-1873, 1860-04-07
Mr.. plmpLlms goes to ths country.

Peter Pumpkins, of Pumpkins Park, the
amiable martyr to bis family, thus discourS
eth of his domestic tribulatlUn in banishing
himself to lone farm house" for the sake
of peace. He says
1t is astonishing what vast executive
abilities Mrs. P. displays when she is engag'
ed in accomplishing some scheme in direct
opposition to my wishes; although on other
occasions candor compels me to ackDowl'
edge that her talents in that respect are
not remarkably brilliant In short / think
may safely assert that Mrs p. considers
the fact of her being opposed to everything
and everybody the highest state of earthly
enjoyment; and | have often thought if it
i bad been possible for Mrs. p. to have been
Street Inspector, or incumbent of any 9th
er municipal office, she would have been re.
markable for strict honesty and integrity
OF conduct, simply on the ground of oppo-
sition to all the rest
Now it had been decided by the lady
above mentioned that we should depart on
the I o'clock a. m. boat for Albany, in tran
sit for the lone farmhouse, which was to be
found about ten miles back of that city
Consequently my morning slumbers were
most rudely broken in upon by her emerge
tic preparations. Remonstrance was use
less; and, therefore, hafpast six found me
seated in the carriage with Mrs. p by my
side, little Peter on the front seat in com
pany with large number of band-boxes
baskets, &c, the driver on the box, aud
everything apparently ready for a start
when dispute arose between little Peter
and his mother regarding the propriety Of
Carlo being taken with us-Mrs. p. of
course, being on the negative side Carlo
at the time, was in the back yard and lit
tile Peter insisted upon going for him, while
bis mother stoutIy declared that if he dar-
ed attempt such a thing she would order
the driver to proceed and he would be left.
Either little Peter doubted the execution
of the aforesaid threat, or else was conf
dent of his ability to overtoke the carriage,
for he certainly departed in search of Carlo;
without further delay Mrs. p. true to her
promise, gave the word to the driver who
already impatient, struck the horses smart
y With his whip; but although they sprang
forward at the stroke, the carriage did not
bulge an inch, the only party who did move
'CIiiS tIC ullN6I WuO lUuDu HllUSclI SuUueu-
y jerked by the reins from the box astride
of the pole where be had the supreme felici.
y of looking two frightened horses full in
the face. This peculiar state of affairs was
produced by some one having unfastened
the traces At this moment little Peter
appeared at the door with Carlo in his
arms. Whether or no he had anything to
do with the drivers mishap was unable
to determine, but thought somewhat strange
that he snould remark as be entered the
carriage: Il thought you wouldn't leave
me-"
Things, including traces, were soon put
to rights; and second starting being more
successful, we were presently at the dock
Mrs. p. said the driver was to be paid one
fifty, and went on board the boat, leaving
me to pay it. Baggage having disappeared
in charge of large black man; gave driv-
er two dollar bill, and waited for change;
Driver said there was no change; explained
to driver that one dollar fifty, taken from
two dollars left fifty cents Driver admit
ted the fact, but said he balanced account
by charging half dollar for Carlo; was
about to insist upon change, when bell rang;
did not want to be left, therefore could not
stop to argue the point, but have my doubts
regarding the right of driver to charge for
small dogs. Fonnd Carlo had got himself
into trouble on the boat, by paying q visit
to the domains of the cook, aud helping
himself to a steak for breakfast the cook
being offended thereat, poured hot water
on his back, which caused Carlo to remon-
strate with loud yells-and resulted in a
collision between little Peter and the sable
gentleman. Carlo proved to be an unhap-
py dog during the whole trip, in conse
quence of his tail {; or rather | would say
the place where his tail was, before little
Peter amputated it with a razor. was still
very sore, fact he was continually forget
ing therefore continually sitting down,
and as often starting up again, with sue.
cession Of short yelpS, which caused the pas
sengers to speculate on the symptom of hv-
drophobia; was astoniShed to discover the
boat had not yet left the wharf; was Ger.
tain / heard the bell Mrs. P. insisted up-
on my going on shore after oranges and an
pies; did not like the idea, but went was
surrounded by eight women and a boy, each
one of whom wanted | should buy exclu-
sively of them. Not being able to accomo.
date them in that respect, compromised the
matter by purchasing of them all; had inst
got pockets, hat and hands full, when infer
nal bell rang again, and various persons
shouted "All aboard !"-forgot to nav
and endeavoring to run 4; women all caught
hold of my coat; boy cried, "Stop thief "
had nothing less than three-dollar bill I:
gave it, and ran; too late; plank pulled in,
boat moviug great excitement; fifty people
called out; "Run to the bows and the
same number shouted run to the sternln ln
think one or other must have been wrong.
captain said in a very loud voice run to
the end of the dock did So as the boat
swung round, oblging deck hands run out
a narrow plank; very kind, but think plank
might have been wider; people on board all
said: "Come f" all those on dock said +.
"Go |" hestated, and some kind friend
pushed me on the plank, and l had to 90
little Peter danced about the deck thought
it was with anxiety for his father would |
not have given him credit for SO much sf.
fection; discovered afterward that he nero.
ly anticipated my falling into the water.
and was desirous of ascertaining if was