Cincinnati daily press. [volume] (Cincinnati [Ohio]) 1860-1862, 1860-04-10
A Drummer Requested TO Act ms n Clergy
IL mnn-nnaincas Hefnrc GI,rIatcninr

mau-Busiuess Before Christening.
The Philadelphia North American relate.
the following
Mr.. Smith, though one of the best salesmer
now extant, and capital drummer is a gen.
tleman of clerical appearance, and when
travelling on the Mississippi, this appearance
procures for him greatrespect, and cessation
Of poker playing upon the decks of the
steamers whenever he makes his approach.
Some time ago Mr.. Smith was stopping in
a town in the interior of Ohio. His principal
business was with Il gentleman whom we
shall call Mr.. Brown. Mr.. Brown not being
at his store, Mr.. Smith called at the residence
of his friend. Mr.. Smith is a gentleman OF
great personal neatness. Mr.. Smith accord
ingly took the last wrinkle out of pair OF
tea-colored kids, raised his dickey Just one
and three-eighth inches, and busted his boots
with handkerchief. He then administered
the proper jerk to 3ilver-plated bell-pull d
process which brought to the door Mrs.
Brown, Mrs. Browns sister, Mrs. Browns
three oldest children, and Mrs. Browns
educated poodle.
Come in, Mr.. Smith--we're so glad to see
yes" wa1 the simultaneous salutation of all
hands.s o ..t.'.
As Mr.. Smith was an entire stranger to the
family, Mr.. Smith was slightly astonished at
the warmth of his reception, and attributed
1t to the natural hospitality of the district,
and made up his mind that the people OF
Ohio were among the most atfable of any
people in the world. Before Mr.. Smith had
time to think further, Mr. Smiths hat and
overcoat had been consigned to hat-rack,
and spruce looking darkey, in white
jacket was executing quickstep on his
swallow-tail with a levy whisk.
MIR. Smith was now ushered into family
glttinn-r0Om with nar ftnrnit,,ro II a..
green morocco, the ladies overwhelming him
with questions concerning the health Of his
family, and with such volubility as to prevent
him from putting in syllable of reply. Be-
fore Mr.. Smith had found an opportunity to
say word as to his business, Mrs. Browns
sister left the room and returned with a
twelve pound baby in her arms. The baby
was very red in, the parts visible. The parts
invisible were enveloped in a wealth of white
jaconet, with needle-work trimming. Mrs.
Browns sister was followed by female AZ
rican in plaid turban, who carried china
basin filed with cold water.
"We're all ready, brother Smith, p said Mrs.
Brown-Mrs. Browns sister at the same time
placing the youngest scion of the Brown
family in the arms of Mr.. Smith. q"
Ready; for what?" asked Mr.. Smith, as
he looked first at the baby and then at the
basin, his eyes standing out with astonish-
nent like the eyes of a badly scared lob
ster. .. -
"Foryou to chrsten our little Ferdinand;
he's named after you" said Mrs. Brown, with
her sweetest smile. I'D N
"Christen him, MADAME exclaimed our
commercial traveller, aghast with wonder.
Certainly; Mr.. Brown went for you this
morning, and Pm so glad you came. Why
didn't Mr.. Brown come in with your
Certainly, sir, added Mrs. Browns sister,
"and you may as well begin at once. Mr.
Brown has probably been detained by busi-
ness, and will not return till late.p
Mr.. Smith could never say no to a lady
He now thinks that in all probability he
would have gone ahead and christened baby
Mr.. Brown entered. Mr.. Brown had Just
returned in company with Rev. Ferdinand
Smith, of Trumbull County. ls' fl'
Grand tableau. Mr.. Brown looked at Mr..
Smith, of Philadelphia; Mr.. Smith, of Phila-
delphia looked at Mr.. Smith, of Trumbull
County; Mr.. Smith, of Trumbull County,
looked at the baby, while the baby looked at
all hands and set up a squall. Mr.. Brown
looked second time at Mr.. Smith, of Phila-
delphia, the baby, and ''that best basin" and
saw through matters at glance. The next
in paroxyism of laughter, while Mrs. Brown,
supposing him to be in a fit, grew frantic,
and undertook to restore him to animation
by tanning him with the coal scuttle. Mr.
Brown recovered at the expense of all the
buttons upon his jacket, and then explained
matters to Mrs. Brown, who hadn't yet dis
covered her mistake. Mr. Brownnext intro
duced the parties to each other, wouldn't
hear of our commercial friend taking leave,
and finished up pleasing evening by chris
teding the baby according to canon. r.
M S,,.sk lal.S = 4 >
business in a satisfactory manner, and LEFT on
the next day. He still shudders, however,
when he remembers how narrowly he es-
capped being pressed into ministerial func-
tions. In order to prevent its repetition, he
now sports moustache. al, -.,