The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1860-09-04
FlyTin1e.

y L
lentless fly, whom neither groans, tears,
entreaties nor slaps could move, or at
least for more than a minute; sitting on
your nose, haunting your ears, tickling
the back of your neck, biting your arms,
dancing ajig on your temples, and skuli5-
ing in the curls of your hair? At length,
with one eye on the wretch, you steal
carefully to the door, closing it quickly
behind you, and retreat to another and a
darker room, sink exhausted into the lux
urious recesses of a friendly armchair,
calculating "now thcn,." as you open
your book for a dreamy revel Buzz,
buzz, buzz Powers of misery! there is
your prosecutor again. In vain you phi
losophically try to despise the midget
One virorous tickle of your nostril sends
you to your feet with a howl Of rage and
disgust You rush into the entry, only
to meet another halfcrazed member of
the family with hair on end, who has tried
every room in the house, cellar included,
and now silently comforts you,a misera-
bic, blear-eyed, despairing wretch.
Some philanthropist present suggests
"a saucer of molasses" Good! You get
it, and locate yourself as near as possible
to the treacle. The fly aputs his foot in
it," and forthwith transfers the contents
to your unhappy nose. Howl for the
second! in which youdemand the instant
whereabouts of that philanthropist, the
disinterestedness of whose proposal you
now consider open to debate. Meantime
you throw open the windows to the biaz-
ing sun, in the vain hope that its bright
ness may lure your prosecutor to an out
door voyage. He doggedly settles on the
window-sill, with a no-you-don't express
sion, quite demoniac in one so young. You
throw your slipper at him; you grab at
him with spread handkerchief; you flap
at him with towel; you throwa a mug of
water at him; he has more lives than a
cat, and lights on his feet fresh as ever,
after all your frantic assaults.
Humbed and dispirited you sit down tc
think over your past misdemeanors, won
dering for which of them you are under
going this purgatorial pcnance. Was ii
for bartering, unbelznown to him, youl
husbands most cherished wallSing-stici
on board the - boat the other day
for a country lads most magnificent
: bunch of posies? Perhaps SO. Was il
for writing stupid things? There art
plenty moro who have done the same anc
; keep doing it. When one ear was boxed
was The other angelically turned for Il re.
/. petition of the compliment? No-aad
WHAT'S more it never will be, because thc
sort 81 persons to profit by such magma
nnity were long ago gathered to THEN
fathers WE'LL then, that point is settled
you arc as good as your neighbors, and
considerably better than some of them
Now, what 1 want to know is, if don't
choose to keep carriage why I should
be compelled to keep fy?-Fanny Fern
KEEP THE BIRrHDAYs.-Keep the birth
days religiously They belong exclusively
, to and are treasured among the sweetest
memories of home Do not let anything
, prevent some token, be it ever so slight
! that it is remembered. Birthdays arc
| great events to children. For one day
, they feel they are heroes. The special
pudding is made expressly for them;
new Jacket, or trowsers with pockets, OF
, the first pair Of boots are donncd; anc
, the big brothers and sisters sink into insig
nifcance beside ''little Charley" who is
six " to-day" and'is soon "going to be
man." Fathers who have half dozen lit
tie ones to care for, are apt to neglec
birthdays; they come too often; some
times when they are busy, and sometimes
when they care nervous;" but if they
, only knew how much such souvenirs ar'
cherished by their pet Susy or Harry
years afterwards, when away from the
hearthstone, that have none to remine
them that they have added one more yeal
to perhaps the weary round of life, or te
wish them in the old fashioned. phrase
"many happy returns Of their birthday,
they would never permit any cause tc
J step between them and o parents priv
ilege.
GENEALoGY OF QUEEN VICTORIA
Who is Victoria ? Victoria is the daugh.