Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1860-03-17

IHS uIIM dSIiCt DSHioCl aCS3 dd.i St'ii
stand cold water but once a day, even
on the outside. I haint got no better
shirt, and if this aint good enough teu
wear in this free Amerikin country to
eat dinner in, the dinner way go tew
thunder ~
The Judge looked blank enough, but
the next mint thought it Warnt good
policy to make enemies Just before the
nomination, and SO | puckered and fol-
Tered the Judge inter the next ROOM
I had made up my mind teW wash and
turn my shirt collar, and make an im-
preston. While [ was slappin on the
sweet st;nkin soap behind my ears and
up and down nay buzzum, who should
come in but the Judge, and with q del
icate word about linen bein at the hotel,
laid clean article on the bed. TWAS q
queer lookin peace Of linnen, but then
| didn't know but all great men wore
such, and I didn't want to make anoth-
er mistake, and so [ put it on. There
was room enough in it for q mighty
buzzum-one in which the hole Union
could find q place. The edges were
iriccaseed all up and down with Wrin-
kle kind Of stuff, and the collar was al
wrinklcd. The sleeves was not MORN
eight inches long, and the edges wrink
led. The flap was all one peace, and
went below my knees, and my new
trousers bein so tight it bothered me
like thunder to find storage for the low
er half OF tie concern. Itwas Union
shirt, and putin on my spread eagle
breast pin, went out. You ort to hey
seen the women when / sat down teW
the table. Some of 'em snibkered, but
Mrs. Bates turned as read as a beet,
and whispered to the Judge that he
chad gone and done it!' 7 kalzerla-
ted she thought her man had got my
influence, but sell: 'P!uggins," sez l,
"Sill show 'em that one shirt, if it is an
alfred great one, can't buy us - And
SO I yanfled at the friccaseed collar,
and sat sternly OH the other section.
The first thing that was brought in,
was q kind Of soup, all full Of stewed
angle worms, and hot as blazes. I had
alters prided myself on refined edica-
ton, for al my ancestors had been lllr-
helso an" one ol my Sno reiaJl'es once
n3"iFieo - d iuFfln ko1(l16 VINO was q
steWed angle worms before I had eat
jripc, calves brains, canine bologna,
young suckers pickcled il kurriors lie,
shitepol1es, "biled OWL" and chickens
ti!rSe laol1Sas 3ea''- all 12Sh!ohaode
0lSileS' b4E L remembered the sofa
cohSefl' ana NePt m''in-Made up my
nInd 10 eat tlde darned worms II had
TO take NeImItuge Tor EN-. 80 l took
q three tined tork and pitched III, but
II was mighty SLOW operation. At
last got Wrathyo ana took up the dish
ana a. orlnNod EN- ali down.
lh9 next tang brought on, was 4
oaAeo goose, hlcely SoWed up and dun
Drown
II spose kufnei3" scz tile Judge, sez
ne, thaJ you are sound on the goose.
Ne ever eat EN- mucn," sez l, "out
IL sereamer on turkeys.
= on must eat goose Ia tins latitude" "
Sez he, 'aIl konSarYatNe, Union loYin
people eat goose down here"
"oh : sez l, II dew eat goose
love EN- dearly, goslns and all"
=" hlch part DO yer prefer" sez he,
as he "het his knife on his bootleg.
"lmmaterlal, sez L, "the glzzard if
its handy, for ! shall want sutthin teu
digest the remainder Of the critter. -
30 tne Judge give me the glzzard and
a human pie OF other stuff, and, haul
IN up my sleeves and iayln my terbac
ker under my plate, kommensed.
but l was 6onphoundedly set back
on that glzzard. 1t was as much as |
coui0 oe" 70 cuG the thlnS IN teW, and
tne =, hrst ?naW L made on It, sent the