Litchfield enquirer., 1860-12-27
Whole No. 1856.
DarietieS.

"heli He Scts uIy, He DreVe into him the breff ob life. He put him in the garden of Eden, and set. him in de corner ob de lot, an he tolc him to eat all the apples 'cepting them in the middle of the orchard; dem ho wapt for winter apples. Bymeby, Adam he be lonesome. So de Lord make Ebe. I tole you how he make her; he glib Adam loddilum till he get sound asleep, den he gouge a rib ont ob his side an make Ebe; and he tole her to eat all de apples 'cepting dem in de middle ob de orchard; dem he want for de winter apples. Wun day de Lord he go visiting; de debble he dress him self up in the skin of de snake, and he find Ebe, an he tole her, Ebe, why for you not eat de apples iD the middle of de orehardP Ebe says, Dem dc Lords winter apples. But de debble says, toe you for to eat dem dey's de boss apples in de orchard' So Ebe eat de apple, and giv Adam bit; and den de debble he go way. Byemeby de Lord he cum home, and he call Adam; he lay low. So de Lord call agin: You Ad- amp Adam say, Hea LordP and de Lord say, Who stole de winter apple!' Adam toe him, Don't know-Ebe, he 'spect.' So de Lord call Ebe; Ebe lay low. De Lord call agin, You Eber Ebe say, Hea, Lordv De Lord say, Who stole de winter appe?' Ebe tole him, Don't know-Adam she 'spect' So de Lord cotch lem boff, and trow dem ober de fence, andhe tole em, 'Go work for your libben.''
 "MoR'N Yog'LL k EP."-Some years Ago an old sign-painter, who wasyery cross, very gruff, and little deaf, was engaged paint tbo Ton Hon,p,o od r,antc or sontn taIIote ;,, church not five miles from Buffalo. He worked two days at it, and at the end of the second day tue pastor of the church came to see how progressed. The old man stood by, smoking short pipe, as the rev erend gentlemen ran his eye over the tablets.
 "Eh!" said the pastor, as his familiar eye detected something wrong in the wording of the holy precepts; "why you careless old person, yJu have left part of one of the commandments entirely out; dou't you see you haveY
 No; no such thing" said the old man, putting on his spectacles; enc nothing left out--whcre?'
 "Why, there," persisted the pastor; "here look at them in the Bible; you have left some of the commandments out"
 "Well, what if I have?" said old Obsti- macy, as he ran his eye complacently over lis work; "what if I have" There's more there now than you'll keepw
 Another and q more correct artist was employed the next day.
 The following amusing hit at the profess OTIS of the healing art, we find in the Nevs- da Journal:
 In ancient pictures and ballads, medical doctors a;c many times represented as hav- ing their canes to their noses; and some have thought this to be emblematic of ye length of their bills; but ye truth comes, the canes were hollow at vc time and contayned 6 subtylc powder of great virtue, ye odor of whyche was thought soverein against such diseases as be considered infectious. Thus in ye following described, whyche was with out Goubt melancholi case, we see ye doc- tor has recourse to hys preventive powder:
 Ye doctor come and smelt hys cane,
 Then shook hys head and smelt again.
 A gawky, awkward, stage-struck Hoosier, went to see one of our theatrical managers and solicited an engagement.
 What role would you prefer, my friend?' said the manager.
 Well, squire,' said the would be Western Rossicus, ain't partial to rolls, no how corn dodgers is my favorite.'
 A FRENCH GuARDsNAN's Pn1DE.-A Dion paper relates the following incident "A high legal functonary, on entering the Prefecture during the Emperor's stay there, accidentally trod on the foot of Cent Garde, who stood sentry at the door. "I beg your pardon" said the magistrate, did not intend it." Do not mention it," said the soldier, know as well as you do that no man ever treads upon Cent Garde's foot Intentionally"
 MONEY BADLY SpExT.-In an English paper we find statement that the people of Great Britain have expended upon var and it's estab- lshments, during the last sixty years, no less than three thousand millions of money, or up- wards of fifty-two millions annually. In the same time the national expenditure of Great Britain, for education, has not averaged one hun dred thousand pounds per annum, or six millions sterling. Here then, tie Soldier has cost $l5- GOO 000, ,000 while the Schoomaster has been paid with only 23O000,000, during the same sixty years.
 A rustic having gone to Carleton Hill Ob- servatory, near Edinburgh,>to get slght oi the moon, after hsving got glance oi it, drew away his head to wipe his eyes, and in the interval, the end of the telescope noiselessy fell down. so as instead of pointing to the heavens, to point down to the earth The rustics surprise wag unutterable when he again looked through, and heheld the sign of public house at a short dis tance. with the customary declaration -" Edin- hnroh ale.' &c. He started back and exclaimed, Edinburgh ale in the moonl Guide preserves us that beats a !!
 IMPERIAL JEwEIs.-During the recent imperial tourney, some of the finest diamonds of the crown were more than once worn, the value of the whole collection being 20,9O8,2 ,26O francs The first inventory was made in 1910 by order of Napoleon l. and another was taken under Louis XVllI..on his return from Ghent, to which place his majesty. had them conveyed. On the latter occasion all the precious stones being re- moved from the settings, were found to be l6,- 3l2 in number, to weigh 18,152 carats and to be of the value mentioned above. An inventory recently made shows the number, weight, and value, to be unchanged. YouKa ANERrcA-One night Freddy had been put to bed, and mother and Johnny were in an adjoining room. Presently Johnny cut mn some caper. on which his mother threatened 1 to take him into the other room and whip nm:
 n Mother" said Freddys voice under the bed I clothes |. know where I'd take hitn'
 :. " born 2" said the mother, whose curiosity was excited. w
 4 I'd take him under the left ear" r ..
 C 4PATRIcK," said judge, what do you say to the charge, are you gnilty or not guilty ?'