Muscatine weekly journal. [volume] (Muscatine, Iowa) 185?-1890, 1860-03-02
Fllnnygraphs.
s-I#. VAAy SrOPASs
EWThe only true woman .hater is said to
ha a wOmaN


eY-A writer on domestic economy, il
giving instruction for keeping eggs fresh
says, ''lay with the small end down." II,
does not specify whether this direction i
for tho hen or the housewife.
UBaron Smyth spent two whole day.
and nights in considering an answer to til,
conundrum, "Why is an egg undone like al
egg overdone 2" He would suffer no on,
to tell him, aud at last hit upon the solution
"Because they are both hardly DONE"
RYA F.enchmsn wishing to take stage
to Buffalo, was asked by the driver if he hat
any extra baggage: .,.E a.;.
stE1tra baggage! what you call dat
have no baggage, but my tree trunks, five
dogs, and Won black girl -
TA man, who was apparently more OF
a wit than . maaman, but who, notwith.
standing, was confined in madhouse, being
asked how he came there, answered
"Msrely dispute of words: said all
men were mad and all men said was mad
and the majority carried the point"
TIE CowARDLY OLD SINNER The Wash
inston Star, speaking of Washington's he
roic conduct at the battle of Princeton, says:
"The repose of the hero at this moment OF
imminent peril to his life contrasts admirably
with the fearful agitation manifested by his
noble but anredsoning steed, tohO is sustainS
cd BY none Of the considerations ahich impart
courage to the hero and the Christian"
D"Wbat was the mob saying ?" asked
an attorney OF witness, in riot trial.
swell, they were singin' about a song"
"What was the song-what were they
saying."
"As nigh as kin keep track, they was a
tsllin' Missis Long Cher first name was
Lucy) to take her time"
s'You can CO."
~"Mr. Speaker" said new Irish
member, rising, tive cannot prize too highly
the rights of freemen. They have been
transmitted to US by our fathers as rich
legacy and palsied be the hand of the man
who would refuse to acknowl edge or main
tain them. Among these rights, MIR. Speak
er. is the right of violation, or doing as we
please, Every man, sir, should do as he
pleases; and if he does not he should be
compelled." t -E-..
TIE SURVIVOR The Buffalo RepubHc
contains the following: "Two or three
nights since young couple were married
in Rocb ester. The bride was very BEAU
tiful girl, and had quite as beautiful q sister,
who was also unmarried. After the two
had been made one, the reverend uni:er of
hearts and souls, kneeliug down and pray
ing fervently, entreated the richest blessings
and mercies of Providence on the bride and
groom, as we'll as upon the surciving sster!'
EY Mrs. Crawford says she wrote one
line in her song, Kathleen Maoourneen, for
the express purpose of contounding the
cockney warblers, who sing it thus:
The 'orn of the 'unter is card on the ILL.,
Moore has laid the same trap in the
Woodpecker
4 cart that is 'umble might 'ope for it ERE.
And the elephant confounds the other
A helephant heasily heats at lis hease
Hunder humbrageous humbrella trees.
PREFERED "DE WooDs."-A descendant
of Ham, preaching to an assembly of the
colored population Of the South, not long
since, s'summed up" his discourse in the fol
lowing style:
"My brsdren, dis am de conclusion OBJ de
whole matter dar am bot two roads-one
road leads down to dat lake which burns
wild fire and beeswax, and de oder one
leads straight up to damnation. And now,
my bredren, which OBJ de roads will you
taIe?" In response to the inquiry, an cold,
veterar,'' who had been listening with
mouth and eyes open, exclaimed :--"Please
yer honor, BrIdder Jones, dar amt no choice
in dem roads-wen Gabrol blows his horn,
dis chile take to de acoeds !" r--r