The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1860-09-03

Tom, during his last tour TO Niagara, in
company with Smash, saw an Indian hewing
a small piece of timber, with q view of making
esnoes: Pray, SIR" SAD Smash G ITO what
tribe, replied the Indian, without looking up
to give his interrogation one smile.
A man much addicted to drinking, being ex-
tremely ill with a fever, consultation was
held I'm his bed chamber, by three physicians,
how TO cure the fever and abate the thirst.
"Gentlemen," he said, 81 will take half the
trouble off your hands: you cure the fever
and will abate the thirst myself"
An elderly gentleman being i'll, one of his
friends sent messenger with the usual inqui
ry which, h,wever, he had not pronounced
with due emphasis. "Ill thank you to take
my compliments, and ask hotc OLD Mr.. w. is"
The messenger departed on his errand, and
speedily. returned, saying, Hes just sixty
eight sir!'
Foote being at a table next to a gentleman
who had helped himself to a very large piece
of bread, after he had taken mouthful or
two, Foote took up his bread, and cut piece
bread" II beg a thousand pardons, sir" said
Foote, 81 protest took it for the loaf"
youthful member of rifle corps in a
Scottish town, on his arrival home one even
ing, joyfully told his governor that he had
just got his arms. "Airms," quoth the an
Gent, drily, I'm thinkin' gin the French
come ye'll haze mair need o. your legs"
Julius, did you attend de last meeting OBJ de
Abolition Debating Society 3" "Yes, SIR"
"Well, what was de fust ting dat cum up afore
de house % "De fust ting dat cum afore de
house l-why-it was charcoal cartn'
MY dear Julia,' said one pretty girl to an
other, "can You make up your mind to marry
that odious Mr.. Snuff - "Why, my dear" re-
piled Julia, 81 believe could take him at a
pinch"'
The Pekin Visitor says: "Comine home a
few mornings since, we met man attempting
to walk on both sides of the street. BY skill
full man9uvre we passed between him.
When Charles Fox's country house was on
fire. and he found all efforts to save it useless,
he &C tually went to an adjoining hill to make
| a drawing of the fire-an Instance of philoso-
ply almost hey ond parallel.
A medical journal says that single women
have the headache more than married ones
| That may be; but don't married men have the
headache oftener than single ones +!
fla young lady has thousand acres of val
uable land, the young men are apt to conclude
that there are sufficient grounds for attach
ment.
"Henry, you ought to be ashamed to throw
away bread like that. You may want it some
day. well, mother, would l stand any bet
| tor chance of getting it then should eat it up
now, '
Cunning is only the mimic of discretion,
and may pass upon weak men just as pert
ness is often mis- taken for wit, and gravity for
wisdom.
Il wish You would pay a little attention
| SIR" said a stage manager to careless actor.
Well, I'm paying as little as / CAM" was the
calm reply.
man of philosophical temperament re-.
sembles a cucumber; for although he may be
completely cut up, he still remains cool.
What is the difference between an auction
and sea-sickness One is the sale of effee is,
and the other is the effects of the sail.