The Council Bluffs nonpareil. [volume] (Council Bluffs [Iowa]) 1857-1867, 1860-04-07
e. Advice to young men GET : piece
ofcalico that will wash. ~

sxE~.-~ssrs~sn-5s1na
CO Advice to young men get . piece
Of calico that will wash. -
CO Transported for fIifs-th man who
murries hsppily.
CT At what time Of day was Adam ore
atcd "a little before Eve.
O. An Irish paper advsrtises, Wanted
an abIo bodied m3n - washer.womsn."
s-s-s-.-ss-
CO Why couldn't Job sleep ct night
Because he had snch miserable comforter.
e-s-p-
c. When women bsein = count their
admirers, it isn't apt - take them long to
do it.
CO The young wonan w;no was "driyen
to distraction" now fsass che wiIa have 70
walk.
&C. Love can sxsuse anything except
meanness; bit meanusss ILLS lore. end
crippies even natural affection.
q Sbs that marriss man because he
is q good match" must not be surprised
II ne turns out co be . /" Lucifer.'
CO Did the man who. pioughed the sea
and afterward planted bis foot on his ma
tive soil, ever harvest his crops.
TThs Massashusetts Legislature con-
sists u so Senators and 30 Represents
tiyss.
eEHas
CTA lady being asked to Join union
of tho s'Daughters Of Temperance" replied
ut is unnecessary, a. intend to Join one Of
the1oss sooa." Sensible. lady, that. {
D Why is man climbing up Mount
Vesuyius like an Irishman who wishes to
kiss his sweetheart because he wants to
get at the mouth Of the I" cratur.;'
GTsSoon after the battle Of Leipsic q Wit
observed: "Bonaparte must now be in funds
Tor he has now received check on the banks
Of the Elbe.'' ~ts
@It 10 tho opinion of the doctor that
the lawyer gets his living by plundsr, while
shslANysr thinksth that the doctor gsts mis- BY
pil0ge.
. c." Joboss" is proposed q an appro.
pirate name for the Pixies Peak Territory.
ThswoEd 10 OF Indian origin, and is said to
mean "dwellers on the mountain peaks"
cDrA debatiug club in Worcester late
ly discussed the important question,
whether ROSTERS knowledge Of day break
10 the result OF observation or instinct,
--see- ~
say John, where did you rel
that loafer's hat 2"
,.sP.ease, your honor, )" said John, "it's an
old one Of yours that Missis gave me yes.
terday, when you were in town.
acV"Julius, why don't you oblog you,
story at de spring?' s.Kase' Mr., Snow,
day charge too much" "How so Julius2,;
"Wby dc landlord charged dis oolored in.
dividual wild stealing de spoons"
s~Ey A French sarant has fixed the nexI
deluge some time ahead. 1t will not came
OF until the year 1859. II will be a grand
washing day, and the world WILDE 81 tha1
time dirty enough to need it.
~ A poor poet having written som,
doggrel verses to young lady, in which 5,
repeated the.phrase, 81 never saw thee hnl
ONCE" she returned to him for An ansver
that she would take care he never saw he1
sSain. -" A''
-.>.-
ty A New Orleans paper tells of a mar
VINO has worn out four pair of boots in two
months, alln trying to collect the money e
pay for them! Really these care times t.
try mems solos,"
,seTA schoolmaster had hundred bow,
and no assistant. 81 wonder how you man.
age them," said friend, sswi.hout helm. ,
"Ah," was the answer, 6 1 could mausp,
the hundredboys we'll enough it's the tx
hundredeparents that trouble me-tbere,,
no managing them.'
GA man on passing through : gateway a ),
in the dark hit his nose against the nost
~ wish that poet was in h--l,, said he.
"Better wish it somewhere else,o said I
oy-stander, "you might run against il
v,tGvA young lady was recently asked how
she could possibly afford, in these hare
times, to take music lessons. "Ob.n sait
she, ~ .conhus myself to the lowe,
notes."