Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1860-11-15
mit an0 Namor.

Is PULPIT AHEcDorR.-Sonle days since
We chanced to be in company with several
eminent divinss, who were relating humorous
amusing anecdotes Of the pulpit. Among
others, the following struck ctr fancy MS one
deserving of record:
# was, said the reverend gentleman, "at-
tending divine service in Norfolk, several
years ago, during season of some excite
ment.-While the officiating Clergyman was
in the midst of most interesting discussion,
and old lady among the congregation aross,
clapped her hands, and exclaimed:
.'Marciful father, if had one more feather
in my wing Of faith / would fly off to glory"
The worthy gentleman thus interrupted
Immediately replied:
Good Lord, stick 1t in, and lei her &C;
she's but o trouble here"
That quoted the old lady.
what blessed thing II u.s." said Mrs.
Jones, TO the widow Partngton, one day du-
ring the late revival, that so many poor souls
are being called to be saved 'Dear me,
yes, )" replied the widow, 81 only wish that
my dear late concert, Paul could have lived
to sec this blessed revisal. He was a most
iminent Christian in his day and gineration
Mrs. Jones although say it and have no
doubt that he is now happy in Beelzebub's
bosom. And as the old lady closed her eyes
to get glimpse Of the spiritual vision, a loud
scream Of pain came from Isaac, who had
get hornet between his thumb and finger.
4 tall girl, named Short, loved certain
big Mr.. Little; willis Little, little thinking Of
Short, loved a little lady named Long To
make long story short, Little proposed to
Long, and Short longing to be even with Lit
ties short comings. So short meeting Long
threatened to marry Little before Long,
which caused Little in short timo to marry
Long.
SENSIBLE QUERIEs-The self examining
society has proposed the following queries to
all people about this finicial period:
]. Does it cost anything to print q news
paper.
2. How long can printer afford to furnish
paper without pay.
8. DO printers cat, drink, aHd wear cloht-
ing.
4. Ifso how do they get IL
s. Do owe for my paper2
g. Is not this particular period first-rsts
time to pay up.
TALL TaLK.-1all gentlemen are always
successful, because the ladies are all In favor
of hy-naen.
There was once man SO intensely polite,
that if he passed hen on her, he would be
sure to say: Don't rise, mama"
A lady we'll advanced m maidenhood al
her marriage requested the choir to sing the
hymn commanding .,.. s
"This is the way long have sought
And moufned because / found IL not"
A little boy being aked "What is the chief
snd Of man I" answered, "The end what's
got the head on"
A young lady has discovered the reason
why married men, from the age OF thirty and
upwards, are more or less bald, they scratch
ha hair of In dismay at their wives milli-
,ers bills.
MEN do not, like snakes, lose their skins
'nce o year, but many OF them deserve to
auch of.ener.
Ladies, please be sweet, but don't be too
ormal. Be roses but don't bo prime roses.
Miss Tucker says It is with old bachelors
$ with old wood-it is hard to get them
tarted; but when they do take flame, they
'ufn prouiGiouIy.
Mr.. Green sued lady for breach Of prom
10, Sand her friends offered him twohundrsd
ollars to settle it. WHAT cried Green, two
undred dollars for ruined hopes, shattered
lind, blasted life, and bleedin heart. -
lever: but make it three hundred dollars,
nd its n bargain!"
Whom are soldiers good flannel Ans. When
hey don't shrink.
Why Is lover like knocksr2 Ans
because he is bound to adore "a door)
At what time of life may a man be said to
olong to the vegetablel kingdom Ans. When
o becomes sage.
Why is a roguish lawyer like man who
annot sleep? Ans.-He lies first ono side,
hen on the other, and is wide awake all tho
me.