The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1860-02-03

l. AOs - 1OOOs
form. The South, with your sugar, rice, cot
ton, negroes and all-come or. To the West,
come on with your beef, pork, salt. coal, lum-
her, shingles, slaves, plaster, sturgeon, singed
bacon, corn, wheat, horses, mules and jack
asses. To the North and East, come one and
all with your copper and iron, and your man.
ufac,ures-who are always invoking the gov
ernment for aid-pile on with your steam EN-
gines, railroad fixings, paper made out of
buckwheat straw and sawdus,, cast iron axes
and amputating tools, super6ne broadc.o'h
and satinet, made out of old woolen hats and
rags come with your wooden bowls, clothes
pins and hoe handles made out of hemlock
brush. Come on with your life-savers, pain
killers, made from aloes, borax, assafptida
and castor oil-plenty of room, pile on.-
Bring TN your granite, your wool. your whale
oil and Goldfish. The Fairbanks platform
will hold YOU all. Cone ahead, Yankees,
with your super6ne French calf bouts, and
your goatskin morocco ties, made out Of bull
hide and mutton skins, split three times in
two, and made thicker and stronger every
time. There is room for your enterprisirg
travelling merchants, whs sell patent spices,
made out of pulverized Egyptian mummies
patent sausage shins and intestines, made
out Of gutta percha-pile on, no charge
Bring on your revolutionary relics, old can
non, bombshells, and if there is not room
between the mountains down East for Web
ster'a Statue, bring that on, room enough.
The United States Government has been
compelled to adopt this platform already. 1t
is in all the custom and bonded warehouses,
in the patent Office, in all the government
forts and arsenals, in all the navy yards and
on board Of every man-of-~ar, in the Gov
ernment mint aud the United States Treasu-
ry.
Had it not been for this wholesome check
on the several departments of the govern
ment, with that insatiate thirst for govern.
ment plunder, the Union would have been
blown higher than gunpowder, or died out
with starvation.
The St. Johnsbury platform is an equal
just and impartial platform. No fraud, nc
cheating, no plunder by false weights or in
voices can stand one moment. Everything
finds its true level and true value. 1t is /;
mind our-own-business platform. 1t has
but one mission to perform-that is to dc
right, and mete out justice to ALL
The st. Johnsbury platform is miracle
not mere vulgar patent. 1t is as old as tn,
Bible. The inventor was man of great re
search in both sacred and prolane history
and when pondering over the history OF tn,
feast Of Belchazzar, the thought struck him
how was it possible that this host of sinner
could be weighed in an even balance, or hun,
on the hook Of the steelyard. He inves,isa
ted the subject. and came to the irresis,ibl
conclusion that the vast, gorgeous Hall Wa
resting on an apparatus for indicating III
weight OF Belshazzars sins, and how horror
stricken must this old reprobate and his Bac
chanalian hosts nave been when the though
flashed across their dizzy brains that the
were rioting and dancing on what was 10 b
a Fairbanks platform. When he saw III
ghostly hand recording his weight in Ian
guage too plain to be mistaken-"T Thou a
reiyhed in the balance and found ,cantiny
no wonder his knees smo,e together. Ii
knew the weight was correct, and he and hi
Kingdom was goner.
The beauty of this platform is that ever
: man can have one of his own, and not d,
pend on Conventions or political cliques.-
The St. Johnsbury Fairbanks Platform c.,
be had at their several depots throusho,
the United States. Those in the State
Michigan, who desire u Union-saver, Fal
, banks platform, can apply at Farrand & Sh'
, ley Store, No. 50 Wocd~ ard avenue.
"WHlr," JR., Sub-Ayent.