Pomeroy weekly telegraph. [volume] (Pomeroy, Meigs County, Ohio) 1860-1866, 1860-10-19
ddit and 6disdon.

-yzEsJ U0ltl dltu VQtiSuuIH.
n@- What key opens the gate to mis-
,lery2 Whisky.
a- The kitchen is the scene of many
stirring events.
c EbarW What is smaller than a mites
mouth? That which is put into it.
s@Why is bad picture like weak
tea? Because it is not we'll drawn.
r@-A legal gentleman has defined
love letters to be 'swrits of attachment.
E1-A brother lawyer once told John
G. SAKE that beard was unprofessional
fright, said SAKE, "a lawyer cannot be
to barefaced.
Hs-" "Tom, won't you forgive him?''
"Well, massa, if 1 m going to die I sup
pose l must; but if 1 ever do get well
I'll give him another dig
~ nA- Mrs Partington says that if she
should be cast away she would prefer
meeting with the catastrophe in the Bay
of Biscuits, for then she would have
something to live on.
DgaWhat do you ask for that arti-
Gle? inquired Obediah Of young Miss
Fifteen shillings.'
"Ain't you little dear?'
why" she replied, blushing, call
the young men tell me So
na Young Van Buren,, of New Wind
sor, in his salutatory at the commence
ment of the Rensalser Polytechnic In
stitue, declared that the ladies were al
the head of all science" Since curiiosits
,ods the mother ofaU discovery"
Pet Dogs.
A lady, visiting Newport, speaks OF
the little ours which infest great houses
in this wise: 1--WE surrender our heels
to the barking and biting of their. dear
little dog, a aohisp Of oakum aeih a deuil
in It,"
pa-A preacher once selected the fol-
lowing words for his text:-"The word
the flesh and the devil" Observing
that he would arrange each under its
proper head-he would commence upon
the flesh, pass lightly over the word, and
hasten as fast as he could to the deuz.
IA- Tom, during his last tour to Nj
agara, in company with Smash, saw an
Indian hewing small piece of timber
with view to making canes "Pray
sir, said Smash, ''to what tribe do you
belong2" '4The Chip-a-way tribe," re-
piled the Indian without looking UP
to give his interrogation one smile,
"A Reason for not Marrying.
A gentleman who paid his addresses
to lady in every respect qualified to
make him an excellent wife, had been
accustomed to spend almost every even
ing during a period Of nearly thirty
years at her house. A friend one morn
ing met with him, and in the course of
conversation said, "Why in the name Of
fate don't you marry Miss N? You
have known her now above thirty years;
she is amiable, clever, has a good for
tune, and is precisely the person you
ought to choose for a wife" "Why,'
said he, II have often thought of marry
ing her, but have as often been de-
tered by the reflection that I should
have Hosohere to spend ny evenings"
1HA subcommittee of a School
Board, not thousand miles from the
city of Lynn, we're examining a class il
aprimary school. One of the committee
undertook to sharpen up their wits by
proposing the following question:
''If had minee pie. and should give
8 two twelfths to Isaac. two twelfths tc
John, two twelfths to Harry, and should
keep half of the pie for myself, what
would there be left?''
There was profound study among
the scholars, but finally one lad held W
his hand as signal that he was ready tt
answer.
''Well, sir, what would there be left
Speak up loud so that all can hear,
said the committeeman.
"The platep' shouted the hopeful fel
low.
The committeeman turned red in thu
face, while the other members roarec
aloud. That boy was excused from an
swering any more questions.
Rights OF Americans.
The following are not enumerated il
the Declaration Of Independence:
To know trade or business withou
apprenticeship or experience.
- To have wife and children depend
cnt on the contingencies of business, anc
in case of sudden death leave them un
provided for.
To teach children no good trade
hoping they will have, when they grow
up, wit enough to live ON the industry O
other people.
To enjoy the general sympathy whel
made bankrupt by reckless speculations
To cheat the government if possible
To hold Office without being compe
tent to discharge its duties.
To build houses with nine and ST,
inch walls, and 60 to the funeral of ten
ants, fremen and others killed by thei
fall, weeping over the mysterious dis
pensation of Providence
To build up cities and towns withou
parks, and call a pestilence yisitatio,
~ God