davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1860-09-05
An Tn6del's Tomb.

The tomb of the celebrated in6del
David Hume, is q .crealar stone build
ing in Edinburgh, and over It's iron-
grated door il inscribed his aaTne,
with the date Of his birth end death.
The other tablets In the tenb show.
that though he thought, he almost
had given the deathablow Ses Christi.
anity, he was nnable to induce hi rel
atiyes to deny thereIgicdsof the gos.
pei. Immediately above Bis kahe is
an inscription, by u David Heme, to
his wife, dated 1877; closing with
these words g Behold, sTaeorns qaick-
ly. Thanks be to God, who giyeth us
the victory through onr5 Lord Jesus
Christ IN the interior Is smother
tablet TO the memory Of another name-
sake, one Of the Bafons of Ezchequer
and his two sops, dated 1913. sur
mounted BY the inspiring words. I
am the resurrection and the life. ("
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1860-09-05

Coon NEWS TO the lovers of to-
bacco and coffee the following extract
from letter Of the venerable Grant
Thornhurn, aged 81 years and five
months, will be good news: 81 new
er wassdrunk in ny life, ! walk without
q staff; sleep without rocking, and
eat my food without the help Of bran
dy or bitters; never eat enough !; I
smoke six pipes Of the best Virginia
eyery day; drink one qnart Of coffee,
with sugar-no milk-and another
quart without either sugar or milk
one half gallon total. Doctor Dun
derhead says. tobacco and coffee are
slow poisons. In my case they are
very slow indeed, for thus have lived
during the last sixty years" We hope
this will not set everybody in town to
smoking tobacco and drinking coffee
that is immediately; opportunity should
be given dealers to lay in sufficient
supply. We are inclined TO think
however, that The venerable Grant
would not be living to tel this story.
had he INDUCED in brandy or hittersn
rs freely az he has 10 tobacco and cof.
fee We uish our young men would
concur with o., and if they wish to be-
come old. while they indulge in harm.
less PLEASURES, that they would avoid
the harmful
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1860-09-05

Now, gentlemen, +" said % nobIenlsn
to his guests. as the ladies left the
room, let us understand each other !;
are we. to drink like men or like brutes p
The guests, somewhat indignant, ex-
claimed Like men, Of course. :
" Then. he replied. We are going to
to get jolly drunk. for brntes never
drink more than they want y
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1860-09-05
A Failure.

Z ks - $500
Colonel Moore, a yetern politician.
Of the old Dominion, enjoyed great
personal popularity OF. account Of his
afabilify Of manner. and Of course
conld always carry n big vote wheneg :.
er he was up Tor Office. he generally
spoke to everybody he met and usu-
ally succeeded in convincing them that
he knew them we'll lie met his match
one morning, however, when on meet
ing conhtrgman he shook hands
heartily with him and commenced
Z" Why. how do ron do, Thir, I'm
very glad to see You; a fine day, Thir
I thee yoa sthill ride your fine old
gray, Thirn
No. sir; this horse is one bor-
rowed this morning.
ooh ! ali well, Thir. how are the
old gentleman and lady ~
Ny parents have been dead about
three years, sir.
8 But how 18th your wife, Thir, and
the children n
/" I'm az unmarried man, sir
Thnre enough Do you sthill
ISeTo the farm ~
:" No sir I've just arrived from
Ohio, where I was born
!" Well, Thir. / gneth | don't know
Jon after all God morning. Thir.''
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1860-09-05
Popular Errors Corrected

\
--
/ Do not nae avocation for vocation :
the latter signifies occupation. employ.
ment, business the former whatever
withdraw or diverts us from thag bus.
ineas.
It was impossible to suspect the ye-
facity Of his story II should be trnth
Of story yeracity is applicable to per-
sons only
had rather walk ii should be-, I
would rather walk had denotes past
possession, not viii or desire.
doubt not but shall be abba it
should be, Idoubt not / shall be able.
He was too young to have felt bis
loss it should be, to feel hissloss.
seldom or ever see him now; it
should be, | seldom or never, or sell
dom if ever see him now.
Do not say rather childish, rather
saltish, as the termination ISL and the
word rather, hare the same meaning,
such expressions though very common.
are Pathological
I expected to have found him; it
should be, expected TO find him
| intended to have visited him il
should be, I intended to visit him.
hoped you would have come; it
should be, | hoped yon would come
rode ID one-horse shay it ought
to be, one horse chase there is no
such word as shay, 4
He can write better than me say,
than L
When Two things are compared, VIC
mast ssy the elder Of The two, not the
eldest The richer Of the two, not tho
richest; my brother ia taller than !,
not the tallest.
Though who is applied to persons,
and which TO inanimate things. yet to
distinguish one Of two or more. persons
which must be used. Which ia the
happy man? not who. Which Of
these ladies
l5
The observation Of the Sabbath is 4
anty il sboald be the observance Of
the Sabbath; observation means re-
marking or noticing observance keep
ing or obe7iog.
A child Of fOnr years old il should
DO child four years old, or aged four
gears.
The negligence Of this Leaves rs ex
posed il ought to be the neglect Ct
this, &c, negligence implies habit !;
neglect expresses an act
No man had eEer less friends ii
should be fewer less refers to quanti-
ty,
Be that "a it viii it shoula be, that
az II may
The ADORE discourse il shoald be.
the preceding discourse.
The then ministry It should be the
Wy Fa aH
ministry Ct that time. &
All over the country it ehauld BE-
OYER al the country
Provisions were plenty; say plehti,
fnI.
propose to visit hin L shoall
be, ! purpose 10 visit him
leave town ia the lattef end Of Ju-
y ; omit the word latter
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1860-09-05

YOU may insert q thousand excel
lent things in a newspaper, and never
a word Of appreciation from the read
.ers; hut jast let paragraph slip in,
Of one ortwo lines, that Is not in good
taste, and you may be snre Of hearing
about that.
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1860-09-05

"Grandpa. did you know that the
United States has been IN tho habit Of
encouraging and acknowledging to-
ries ?,-"Whst kind Of tories ~
Territories Nov give me them
peanuts, or IN catch the measels and
make you pay for them.
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1860-09-05

4 Western editor, who is a bacho-
Tor, says, be never cared. a farfhing
about getting married until he attend
ed an old bachelors fnneral.p
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1860-09-05

TINE TO GO TO BED Joseph vas
. bad boy. He had succeeded in
binding his mother for sometime as to
his imbibing propepsities One night
Joseph came before the old lady had
retired He sat down, and, with that
look Of Misunderstanding wisdom, be-
gan conversing about the goodness
Of the crops, and other matters He
got along very well until be espied
what he supposed to be. cigar on the
mantle piece he caught it. aud pla-
cling bne end in his mouth. began very
graTelE to light II ut the eand!e He
drew and pulled until he was getting
red IN the face The old ladyia eyes
were openedaand she addressed him !:
N thee fakes that tanpanny nail for
q cigar it is time thee vas going to
bed. I
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1860-09-05

'THE 6Fat haif of life Il spent in long
ing for the second the second 10 re-
greeting fhs frat
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1860-09-05

The woman who never interfered
with her husbands affairs is in town.
She il unmarried.
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1860-09-05


CURIOUS ALLEGED Discovery IN
FLoRIcULTuHE, Eli is said that OK
Mayor Iiemann, ST bis paint factory
in Manhattanyille, has accidentally
made . discovery which thrsatens to
reTolutionize horticulture One Of
The factory hands having thrown some
Eqnid green paint Of 2 peculiar kind on
q flower bed, occupied BY white ane.
mones, the flowers have since made
their appearance viii. petals az green
IS grass. The paint had in if q pecu-
liar and very penetrating mixture,
which Mr. Iiemann has since applied
with other eolors. to other plants. an
nual.. biennial, md Of the shrub kind
1.-The result being invariably that the
flowers so watered took the hue Of the
liquid deposited at their roots. By
commencing experiments early next
year, dnring seed time. and applying
different colors, we shall no doubt soon
be enabled to z paint the lily, = which
was Solonlon's ambition. ~. r Sen.
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1860-09-05

Do not allow a child to be perpetu-
ally attending to his bodily sensa-
tons; or, at any rate. do not allow
him TO be perpetually making remarks
about them--the niceness Of this dish,
the ugliness Of that object, that the
day il too hot, the walk too long, etc.
With proper care yon may increase
bis hardihood. without endangering
his health Something may be done
by direct discipline, but more by max
ing endurance a point of honor with
children, otherwise they viii indemnify
themselves at the first opportunity.
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1860-09-05

RELATIONSHIP "A Hoosier girl
stepped on board of steamboat as
she was lying in certain point on the
Ohio river, and bawled out" is the
captain aboard n
The captain, who was standing
among the crowd. responded, Yes,
what do you want of him p
Oh. nothing in particular; hes a
distant relation of mine and I'd like to
see him I"
!" A relation of yours?" inquired the
captain. somewhat surprised
Yes, a slight relation He's the
father Of my first child .
You had better believe the captain
sloped, while the crowd enjoyed the
sport to their hearts content.
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1860-09-05

TaE British have 2g1 steamers
the transport service Of the war.
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1860-09-05

Rice with the lark, and witbsths lark to bed,
Observes scrne solemn, sentimental owl,
Mazims like these are very cheapiy said
But ere you make yourself afool or fowl,
Pray, just inquire shout the rise-and fall,
And whether larks hays any bed at all
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1860-09-05

@s944@ e. LsasA s&#~
Gods bow il bent at 8 ventnre-
He never leoses sight 10f. His arrows.
No word of His ever misses is aaark,
but each accomplishes its. Rprpose.
And Jet it is not the less q ieE "a Him
when that word finds . welcome, and
OF Ill menhe Is to she Mast nigh the
.acafest. in whosesi affections God's
words are hidasnhtha most slsaplE. and
in boss S0nnnet they nsost ksnspicu-
ouslyreappear.
sI9lg sss-a
The baas khat = dase 80 1nI---
sSfa : had ~ efafnifT
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1860-09-05

I, God bless the man who FIRST invented aiesp
SO Sancho Panza said, and SO say /.
And blsss him also, that he didn't keep
ss = His great discovery to himself; or try
To make it--as the lucky fellow might
A close monopoly ny patent right
yes-bess the man who first invented sleep.
4 really cunt avoid the iteration
But blast the man with cursesloud and deep,
What'er the rascals name, o.. age or static
q Who first invented and went round advising
That artifcial cut-of-Early Rising
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1860-09-05
The time for honest folks 70 be sb.d.

The time sor honest folks TO be sbsd.
Il. Il in the morning, if reason right;
ACES And hs who cannot keep his precioua head
..-s, a.. Upon tbs pillow till It's fairly iigat,
And so enjoy his forty morning winSs
Is up to knayery or else---he drinks
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1860-09-05

Thompson who snng about the Seasons said;
Il vas glorious thing to RISK. a season
But then he said it--Iying --in ais b9d
AT 10 o'clock A. M.--theFery reason
1 He Krote 50 charmingly, Tie simple fact il,
His preaching waen sanctioned BY his practice.
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1860-09-05
opt's Appk.
Early Rising

By JOHN G. SAFE
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1860-09-05

IT'S doubtless. well to he sometimes awake
Awake TO duty and Swate to truth
But when alas a nice review We take
= OF our best needs and days, We find in sooth,
The hours that leave the slightest cause to weep
Are those we passed in childhood and--asleep
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1860-09-05

So let as sleep, and give the Maker praise
like the lad who, when his father thought,
To clip his morning nap by haekneyed phrase
OF Vagrant worm by early songster caught,
Cried served him right, " it's not all sprpris-
Thsworm was punished sir, for early rising. ling
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1860-09-05

! Tia beautiful to leave tbs world awhile
For the soft visions of the gentle night,
And fres st last from mortal care or guile.
TO live as only in the angels sight,
In sleeps sweet realm SO costly shut in,
Where, at the worst, we only dream Of sin.
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1860-09-05

Thus the injured animal lay there
until 1t died. When satisfied that it
could no longer be Of service, the 9th,
er quietly followed the keeper away
from the spot, and showed no desire
to return. Ii this was not reason min.
glel with an affection some men might
pattern after, we should like to know
what to call it. Buffalo Democracy.
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1860-09-05

Mother dear, look up to Jesus,
He will guide you through thu dark;
He it was who stood beside you,
s When he took that yiial.spark
The Lansing state Republican. [volume] (Lansing, Mich.) 1855-1874, 1860-12-19

SAD AND FATAL CAsUALIrY.--The Norfolk
(Va.) Day Book saws =" The entire community
was shocked last night upon learning that Laura,
daughter OF Jesse I. Ewe, of this city had been
almost instantly killed BY the accidental discharge
of pistol in the hands of her own father Ii
appears that Mr.. Ewell, who is represented az a
most aiectionate and indulgent parent, went
home from his business about sun down, and
finding his little boy PLAYING with pistol, had
his attention drawn to it from the fact that the
little fellow had string tied TO it, and had been
pulling it about the house and yard all day. So
unusual an application Of the weapon attracted
his attention, and he called his little boy 10 him
To show him how il worked. He then placed his
fingers upon the trigger, and, giving it pull,
the cock rose Gt was selfcockng pistol) The
pistol proved 10 be loaded, and was dischaI ged.
Lagra, a beautiful and interesting little girl of
Zine summers, was seated on the steps, getting
her lesson when the pistol went off. and Instant
ly jumping up she exclaimed, oh. pa, you have
killed me- She fell forward and instantly ex-
pred. The pistol had been charged with two
buckshot, both of which had entered her right
breast and perforated her right lang. The great
shock, together with the hermorrhage, produced
almost Instant DEATH The unhappy father, al
most bereft of reason by the distressing and
heart-rending accident, sough, in his frenzy to
take his own life. He seized a knife and made
desperate effort TO cut his throat bu, he was pro-
verted from sleeping his family in still deeper
gief, by some of his friends, who happened 10
rush up in time"
The Lansing state Republican. [volume] (Lansing, Mich.) 1855-1874, 1860-12-19

(Descr.t,ve of how Lord Eiwud Alolphus smiled,
smoked and swallowed
I'D rather be Tadpole, and feed upon the vi.
tails OF an lujn, than have one drop OF water in
the Rum love, exclaimed Edward Adolphus,
as he seized he arm of an OiciOu5 waiter, sho
was about to pour the aqueous fluid into jorum
Punch, just bEewed. Sayest thou SO, my noble
Lord? Aye, marry do /, thou child of Ethiope
Punch with too much water, pah I'd rather
be Dog with kettle at my tail than such
Rum uni D there be Punches that I've tasted
and heard others praise, and that highy-not to
speak it proianely--that neither having the taste
Of Punch, nor the flavor of Julp, Smash or
Cocktail, hayeso offended my palate that have
thought some journeyman Blacksmith had made
them well, they initiated the Simon so abOmina.
big. Give ne the Punch that is not spoiled By
water, and | will engult it all, aye, to the very
drugs, as do this. by Jove, It's nectar fit for
Godsl Cesar Augustus, come hitherl Thou
noble descendant OF Ham, approach and listen,
Dost see yonder Closet? Ny Lord, do. lis
well Within its dark and murky walls cntomb-
ed, you'll fnd an obong Box, Raise carefully
the lid, insert therein your Opaque dgts, and
draw from thence fragrant weed, which NV.
self, across the Vastly deep, didst bring from
Cuba's balmy isle. I'll cen envelope my pOrtly
person for awhile in aromatic vapor, and rs the
misty clouds curl gracefully round my brow, I'll
mediate on love. Heigh Ho! All, Esmeralda,
most exquisite OF Ducss perdition catch nv
whiskers. but | love thee, and when | love
thee not, the Crisis has come again. What Ho!
bring forth some Bivalyes, accidulated and high
~ spiced. those denizens of the silver sand that
doth fringe the irothy edge OF Oceans mighty
and extensive surface place them before me
thou dusky Scion of Afric's Sunny Cline, then
speedily leave the presence! Your Grace it's
done! So. If it were done when It's done,
then 'twere well it were done quickly Some
thing too much of this. Now for the Banquet
my Souls joy! If after every tempest come
such CLANS, may the winds blow till they have
wakened all the babies and let the Shell fish
Shallop climb hills of seas olympus high, and
duck again as low "a hell's from heaven IL it
were now 70 die 'twere now to b. most happy
for fear my stomach hath its contents so abso-
lutte that not another feast of Clans like this
succeeds in unknown fate. Edward Adolphus
slumbersl
The Lansing state Republican. [volume] (Lansing, Mich.) 1855-1874, 1860-12-19
FURNITURE.
Weinman's Brewery,

Maple ST., near Female College.
WOULD respectfully inform the citizens of
l. Lansing and vicinity, that keep constantly
on hand a better kind of Lager Beer, Ale and
Small Beer, ever offered to this community.
. which | shall sell BY the Gallon, one.third, one
fourth, and one-half barrels, to suit customers.
anu warrant it, at one dollar less per barrel than
sold heretofore. Also, the best kind of Vinegar,
at ] , cents per gallon.
All orders left at the Post Office, under my
address, will be promptly complied with. The
highest price paid for Barley.
ly26S FRED. WEINNAN.
The Lansing state Republican. [volume] (Lansing, Mich.) 1855-1874, 1860-12-19

HUSBANDS EXPERIENCE OF A STRONG Mix.
DED WoNAN.-A worthy citizen OF Maine. of fir
social position, good plain understanding. and
amiable manners, entered into the holy state of
matrimony with strong minded woman. Our
narrative Is brief. She had all things her own
Say, from the very first hour. Her contemnt
Tor his mental powers improved every day. His
very laotieEsiveneSs inc eased IL Her wishes
soon assumed the lone of command. They lived
on Tor many years, and the 'grey mare" was
universally thought 10 be the better horse. In
Der presence, and that of third parties, he was
rarely known 10 open his mouth and he would
no more thought of giving an opinion upon any
subject than OF giving ~ The ghost AT length
MS career OF passive obedience came to close !;
and Miss PopSin had not the least doubt what
Killed nm Ills last words, and they were re-
marSao.e words, gave something ike color TO
Miss fopAIns opinion. Then Rev. DIR. Thunder.
bod attended him in his last moments, and the
conversation between them has been stated as
follows:
'Dr. Philander informs me that you are no lon
ger for this world"
feel very nervous, aud suppose l can't
stand it very loL :"
mo, suppose your end is not very far of.
Il Is an awiul.thing to die"
"Weli, don't know but what il NAV be for
some tolkaL~
Il hope you have made your peace with
God- Afe yoa prepared TO meet the King of
Tersors:"
- Nen, s'pose am I've lived with the
een tor thirty-two years."
The Lansing state Republican. [volume] (Lansing, Mich.) 1855-1874, 1860-12-19

Rh'of Olive and Almond Oils for sale cheap at
II BARTHOLOMEWS'
The Lansing state Republican. [volume] (Lansing, Mich.) 1855-1874, 1860-12-19
4 DEMONSTRATORS SALE-Notice

A H. u" "hs gwen, that pursuant 10 License I"
GRANTEES by She Judge o Probate for tie Coan OF Ing
ham, tue 18th day al Maven 81. ID. 1860, sh,i
expose g.. sale ~ ps5lc auction, the prems.
Sdturd ~ tie 9Th Gay OF January, A. lS6l. "c,n-i
u, u- io .I,s piece parcel IF l~nd VIZ: Ia,
gurh A.f ( the north half Of The south guar e
Il sect tN', luVn four nofta If East
~ 81 ia -.sn AcH contain 20
Term f.,,s Ano~n day Of ale
CiiAS I Nj RHAY,
tw-gI Adn'r Estate 81 John Abe. Gec.e Srt
The Lansing state Republican. [volume] (Lansing, Mich.) 1855-1874, 1860-12-19

E'RENCH Mustard, superior article, for sale
l. at BARTHOLOMEWS'.