The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1860-06-13
Cur Olio.

Here's to internal improvements as
Dobbs said when he swallowed dose of
salts.
WHAT two sciences are employed by
tesmsters in driving oxen? Haacticul-
ture and Geology.
PAPA, have guns got legs? No
'How do they kick, then!' with their
brooches, my dear.!'
'DoN'T stand there loafng,' said Prof
essor to three students. we amt loaf
ing replied one of them, there are only
three of us-it takes Heaven to make
loaf
YOUTHFUL poets should not bore their
sweethearts too much with singing verses
addressed to them. Most hearty young
ladies' like tender loins from beef more
than tender lines from a poet.
GETTING OFF EAsY.-One of the States
passed an act that no dog should 90 at
large without muzzle, and man was
brought up fer infringing the statute. In
defence no alleged that bis dog had a
muzzle.
How is that quoth the justice.
'Ohr said the defendant, 'the act says
nothing where the muzzle shall be placed
and as thought the animal would like
fresh air, | put it on his tall
A GREEN-LooKING chap hailed an ON.
nibus driver dashing down the street,
'Aot goin'to Bridgeport r'Yes, said Jehu.
instantly refining up. wal, thought
So responded the wag, passing on quite
cool. Jehu made cut with his whip but
the wag was beyond reach.
A WAC in Detroit has been taking lib.
critics with the reputation of the Pontiac
Railroad. He was asked whether he
over knew of IN accident on that road 2
land replied:
'Never-but once middle aged coup
ly left Pontiac for Detroit, and died Of
old age at Birmingham-half way
A NOTED chap once went into the sane
forum of m editor, and INDUCED in
TRADE agains 4 citizen, with whom he
was on bad terms Il wish said he,
shat Won would write very severe arti-
Gle against B, and put it in your pa
per- Very well. was the reply, and
after some conversation the visitor went
away. The next morning he came rush
ing to the office in violent state of ex-
element what did you put in your
paper! | have had my nose pulled, and
have been kicked twice q wrote a Sc
we're article, as you DESIRED calmly re-
turned the editor, 'and signed your name
to it,
An editor of our acquaintance says he
has an antipathy to disembodied spirits.
We know he has, for he never comes &C
ross them without taking good care that
they shall not remain long out of the
body.
DR.. NJ an army surgeon Curing the
American war, was very fond of a Joke,
(if not perpetrated at his own expense,
and had, moreover, great contempt for
citizen officers, who were more renowned
for their courage than their scholarship.
One day, at mess, after the decanter had
performed sundry perambulations of the
table Captain s., brave and accomplish
Cd officer, and great wag, remarked to
the doctor, who had been somewhat Sc
we're in his remarks on the literary defic-
iencies of some of the new officers, Or.
NJ, you are acquainted with Captain G 2
Yes, | know him WE'LL replied the
doctor; hes one of the new set. But
what of him ?'-'Nothing in particular
replied Captain S., 4 have just receiv-
ed letter from him, and I will wager
you dozen of old port that you cannot
guess in six guesses how he spells CAR
Done, said the doctor; its wager
well, CO mmence guessing said S.
'K, a, double t.'-'No.'-tKate.'-sNo.'
-'Catte.'-'No'-'Catt,'-
NO. that's not the way; try again, it's
your last guess.'-'Caght.'. mo- said
s., you're wrong again; and you've lost
your Negatively said the doctor.
with much petulance of manner, how the
docs be spell itp-- why, he spells
it G. A, T. replied S., with the most ut
most gravity. Amid the roar of the
mess, and almost choking with rage, the
doctor spranc to his feet, exclaimimp.
Captain S., am too old man 10 be
trifei with in this manner