Cincinnati daily press. [volume] (Cincinnati [Ohio]) 1860-1862, 1860-04-11
The Bachelors Cnlculntlons-His COnnu
- bial Theories. .... ..

The bachelors CnlculntiOns-His COnnu-
... bial Theories. ...
This article was published some years ago
in an English Magazine, and is worth re-
printing;
1Etatis 3o.--Look back through a vista of
ten years; remembered that Mt twenty /
looked upon a man of thirty a midde-aged
mani wondered at my error, protracted the
middle age to forty. Said to myself "Forty
is the age of wisdom" Reflected generally
upon past life; wished myself twenty again,
and exclaimed, IF I were twenty, what a
scholar would be by thirty but it is too
late now" Looked in the glass: still youth
full, but getting rather fat. Young says,
ga fool at forty is fool indeed" forty,
therefore, must be the age of wisdom.
3l-Read in the Morning Chronicle that Il
matchmaker in Paris, aged thirty-one, had
shot himself for love; more fool the watch
maker agreed that nobody fell in love after
twenty. Quoted Sterne; "The expression,
fall in love, evidently shows, love to be be-
meath man. Wentto Drury Lane; saw Miss
Crotch in Rosetta, and fell in love with her;
received her ultimdtum; was three months
making up my mind IN long time for making
up such little parcel) when Kitty Crotch
eloped with Lord Buskin; pretended to BE-
very glad took three turns up and down the
library, and looked in the glass; getting
rather fat and florid; met friend in Gray's
Inn, who said was evidently in rude health:
Thought the commitment riider than tbe
health. - ''
32-Passon for dancing rather on the de-
cline; voted sitting out play and farce one of
the impossiblities; still in, stage box three
nights per week; sympathized with the mn
lie in vexation, occasioned by non-attendance
the other three; can't please everybody; be-
gan to wonder at the pleasure Of k;ckinr
ones heels on a chalked floor till four in The
morning; sold bay mare who reared at three
Carriages; and shook me out of the saddle
thought saddle making rather worse than
formerly; hair growing thin; bought bottle
of Tricorian fluid. Mem.-A fatterinp unc-
ton.
33-Hair thinner: serious thouobts of n
= wig; ! met Colonel Buckhorse whe wears
one--devil in bush-serious thoughts OF
letting it alone met Fellow-Eton in the |
Green Park, who told me ,coye WE'LL won |
dered what he meant gave up Cricket Club |
on account of the bad air about Paddinrton,
could not run in without being out of breath |
34-Measured for new coat; tailor pre-
pared fresh measure--hinting something |
about bulk--od measure too short-parch-
ment shrinks; shortened my morning ride To
Hampstead and high gate, and wondered
what people could see at Hendon; determined
not to marry; means expensive and dubious;
couute1 eighteen bald heads in the pit at the
opera-so much the better--the more the mer-
rier. .ut -'
35-Tried on an old great coat, and found it
an old little one; cloth shrinks as well as
par:hment red face in putting on shoes;
bought a shoe-horn; remembered quizzing
my uncle George for using one; then young
and foolishi brother Charles has eight chill
dren; served him right for marrying at
twenty-one-age of discretion, too; hunting
belts for gentlemen hung up in a glovers
window, longed to buy one, but two women
in shop cheapening mittens. Three gray
hairs in left eyebrow. ... -rITl - |
36-Several gray hairs in whskers, all ow-
ing to carelessness in manufacturing of
shaving soap remembered thinking my father |
IN old man at thirty-six; settled the point
men grew old sooner in former days; laid |
on Tapped waist-coats and tie wigs; skated |
on the rpentine-gOut-very foolish ex- |
er'ise--only fit for boys, gave skates to |
Charles eldest son.
5l-fell in love again; rather pleased to
only nineteen; what then2 women require
protectors; day settled; devilishly frightened
too late to get of; luckily Tilted; Emma
married George Parker one day before me;
again aetermned never to marry; turned off
oid taiior, ana zoos 70 new tne n Bond
streeI some OF these fellows make a man
ipok Yen years younger-not that that was
tne Teason.
oo-otuck rather more TO dinner parteS |
gaYe up county uahclngi money; music GER
tslnly more iatlgulng tnan formerly; tddlers
play 700 quick, qnadrllies stealing hither
over the Cnannei Thought OF adding to the
number Of Craze gentleman who learnt to
dance; Dick Dapperr dubbed me one of the
over-growns; very impertinent, and utterly
untrue:
3o-Quadrilles rising; wondered sober mis-
tresses of families would allow their carpets
to be beat after that fashion; dinner parties
increasing; found myself gradually Tontneing
it toward top of table; dreaded Ultima thule Of
hostess elbow; gooc place for cutting tur-
keys, bad for cutting jokes wonder WHY I
was always desired to walk up; meet two
school fellows at Pimheo; both fat and red
faced; used to say at school they were of my
age; what lies boys tell.
40-Looked back ten years; remembered at
thirty, thinking forty middle aged man;
must have meant fifty; fifty certainly the age
Of wisdom; determined to be wise in ten
years; wished to learn music and italian;
tried Logger; it would not do; no defect of .
apacity but those things should be learnt in ,
.... -,
Al--NHW lnInlHlan ad ia |