The Oxford intelligencer. (Oxford, Miss.) 1860-18??, 1860-12-19
CHIPS.

ALWAYS be quite as careful in your business
transactions of taking credit as Of giving it,
Ir ship is Of the feminine gender, why are
not fighting vessels called women-ofwar, instead
Of men ofwar: g3e5fa
The love of pleasure betrays ms into pain I;
andmany man, through love Of fame, becomes
infamous. sr -s.s
GooD men have the fewcst fears. He has but
ono who fears to do wrong. Hehas thousand
who has overcome that one. = - -,
MES Of the noblest dispositions think them
selves happiest when others share their happi-
ness. :,
In all noble enterprises, the ladies are like
the electric telegraph-far. in advance of the
mails.
No doctrine is good for anything that does
not leave behind Il an ethereal furrow, ready for
the planting Of seeds which shall spring up and
bear abundant harvest.
SoxE sensible chap says truly, that person
who undertakes to raise himself by scandalizing
others, might just as well sit down on wheel
barrow, and undertake to wheel himself
The following notice might have been seen,
some time ago, stuck up in corset-maker's shop
window, in Glasgow sorts Of ladies'
stays here" 5-'iag
"WML you marry me, miss q "Sr, you
know very well have often declared would
never marry" "Oh, yes il hadn't known it.
! shouldn't have asked you" "a. r.,g
A GUEST at the Duke of Wellington's table
burted out the question: pray Duke, were
you surprised at Waterloo With what a
neat and easy turn of the wrist he ran the un-
happy man through-"No, but am now"
A FARMER who occasionally accommodateda
ncighbor with fitch of bacon at the killing
season, being applied to as usual, replied, "I
hanna yet made up my mind whether shall kill
myself this year, o. takca side of my father"
Or truth, home without girl is only half
blest; it is an orchard without blossoms, and q
spring without song. A house full of sons is
like Lebanon with its ccdars, but daughters by
the fireside are like roses in Sharon.
In Norway eagles destroy oxen by the follow
then roll themselves in the sand and, aiterward,
by Tapping their wings and shaking their feath-
crs into the eyes of an OK, they blind it and
overcome it.
A SUPPLEMENTARY was once intrusted to de-
liver the following message to Lord Randolph in
the play :-"My lord the banquet waits" But
having lost the run of the sentence, he called
out amid the roars of the audience, "Nr Ran
dolph, your supper has been ready for some
time"
YOUNG apprentice to the hoe-making busi-
ness asked his master what answer he should
give to the often-repeated question, "Does your
master warrant his shoeSg' ANSWER, Thom-
as" said the master, ''that warrant them to
prove good and, il they don't I'll make them
good for nothing"
Az attorney brought an immense bill to la
dy for some business he had done for her The
lady, to whom he had once paid his addresses,
at the charges. MADAM" replied
the limb of the law, 81 wanted to convince You
that my profession is lucrative and that should
not have been bad match" ~i
DISTINCTION is an eminence which is attained
but too frequently at the expense of fireside.
PEOPLE would rather pardon the defects you
have, than the afIectation of virtues you have
not. ...e-'.5rts.r
FEMININE HEAoAcHE-A fictitious disease by
which women seek tosconceal their heartaches.
The greatest coward may avoid shaking in
his shoes by wearing boots or going barefooted.
BEAUTIFUL rHrSes.-Beautiful things are sug.
gestive Of purer and higher life, and fill US
with mingled love and fear. They havea gra-
ciousness that wins us, and an excellence to
which we involuntarily do reverence. IL you
are poor yet pure and modestly aspiring, keep
a vase Of flowers on your table, and they will
help to maintain your dignity, and secure for
you consideration and delicacy Of behavior.
JEHK,n TAYLoR says, IL you are for pleasure,
marry; IL you prize rosy health, marry. a
good wife is Heavens last best gift to man-an
angel Of mercy--ministcr of graces innumera-
be-his gem Of many yirtucs--his casket Of
ewels-her voice, his sweetest music-hcr
smiles, his brightest day-her kiss, the guar
dian of innocence-her arms, the pale of his
safety, the balm of his health, the balsam Of his
life her industry, his surest wealth-her econ
'my, his safest steward-her lips his faithful
bosom, the softest pillow Of his
cares-and her prayers. the ablest advocates Of
Heavens blessings on his head.
A HINT TO GARDESERs.-The latest invention
S an instrument to prevent poultry from scratch
ng up the gardens. II Is something like long
'pur, attached to the hind part of ROSTERS
eg The instrument is so arranged that when
he fowl is about to scratch the earth, the spur
;atches in the ground before the foot has fairly
and obliges it to bring its foot down
Iuietly and harmlessly in front Of the place
where it aimed at The fowl thereupon tries
he other foot with ike result 1t keeps On
rying. and before il is aware Of il, the machine
nas walked It right out Of the garden.
THERE was an old farmer who kept large
,oultry yard, and had one hen who not content
With her proper sphere Of action, was contin-
laIly endeavoring to crow At last after re-