The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1860-05-16
MISCELLANEOUS.


room.
ONro TIE WING, Aperil the 17s
SuRs-lle preffase this noat by kongrat-
terlatin Fineas T. Barnim on resoomin the
Show biEincss. Hese the he'd & frunt of
the wax wurk and startlin kuriosity pro-
feshun-so TO speak-& fur l line trooly
tickled to see him rizc, Fenix-like, from his
hashes. haint larfed so much over emmy
thing since the Thayers vas hung.
Them kl0cks kane very neer windin IN.
B.-a goak) old Fineas T. up, but he kon-
kered all oppersisshon & is now sole ownir
of the Moozeum, where crate morril dramys
is acted out to the crate delight of peopul
from the Rooral decstricts. He ikewize
owns the What Is 1t. He never orter pub
lisht that awful-biografy of hisn, as it was
goin back on the perfeshun l. exposin the
cecrits of Of the most noblest calm that
ever was, besides not doom nobody emmy
good. But I forgiv him, and sa OIL hale
I've bin lickt as it war, but it wos dun by
dorgs, az in the kase Of Lazzerus of DID,
So much for Old Fineas +. r. a
It is with no ordinary feelins of Shagrin
& indignashun that rite yu these hear
lines. Sum of the hiest and most noblest
feelins which actooate the human hart hev
ben trampt onto. The Amerykan flag haz
ben outraged. I've been nussin Adder in
my Boozum.
The fax in the kase is these here:
A fu weeks ago left Baldinsvil to 60 to
M York fur to git out my hamin yaller
handbills fur the summer kampainc, L as I
was pcroosin a noosepaper on the kars, q
middel aged man in speckterkuls kun & sot
down beside me. He was drest in black
close, & was apparently as fine man as
ever was.
"A very fine da, Sur" he sed on to me,
stratewa. ...:. .
"Middlin," sez I, not wishin to kommit
myself, tho he appeared to be as fine man
as thare was in the world-''it's middlin
fine da, Square," #
Sez he, "How fares the Ship of State in
yure regin of kedentry ...
Sez l, 1--WE don't hev Ships in our State
the kanawl is our best holt"
He pawsed mint and then sed-- a
"Aair yu aware, Sur, that the krisis is
with usl'
mo-" sez I, gettin up and lookin under
the sect, "whare is she?''
~ . u00s . VvOIy wIlCIC, OCA n0
See I, "Why how yu tawk!' and got
up and looked all round. II must 81, my
frend," kontinnered, IS rezoomed my
sect, "that kant see nothin of no krisis
myself" -~ a 3
felt sumwhat alarmed, & arose & in .
stentorian voise obsarvcd that if emmy lady
or gentleman in that there kar had a krisis
konseeled about thare pursons tina had bet
ter produce it to onct or suffer the konse-
quenses.
Several individoouls snikered rite out,
while putty littel damsel rite behind me
in pink gown made the obsarvashun, HE,
he"
"Sit doun, my fren," sed the man in blak
close, "yu miskomprend me. meen that
the politerkal ellerments are orekast with
blak clowds, 4boden frightful storm"
"WaN," replide l, in regard to politerkal
ellerfunts I doant kno but how tina is as
good as emmy other kind of ellerfunts. But
| | maik bold tn 50 tina IL al an ornery set, &
unplesent tu hav around. They are power.
full hevy eeturs & take up rite smart chans
of room, & besides tina air as ugly and re.
veniful as a Cuscaroarus Iniun with ls
inches of corn whisky in h his stummick.' "
The man in the blak close seemed TO be
as fine man as ever wuz in the wurld.-
He smilt & sed praps wuz rite, tho it wos
ellerments and not ellerfunts that he was
alludin to, and axed me what was my prin
serplus?
II haint got emmy" sed I, mot prinser'
pull. line in the show bisnis."
The man in blak close, I will heer Oh.
sarve, seemed to be as fine man as ever
was in the world.
"But," sez he, "yeu hev feelins into yu
Yu cimpathize with the m,sfortunit, the To-
" & the hart-sick, don't yu?"
He bust into teers and asked me ef l
saw that young lady in the sect out yen
der, pintin to as slick loOkin gal as ever
seed.
Sed !, ~ B shure see her-is she much
sick ?"
The man in blak klose was appeerently
as fine man as ever was in the world emmy
whares. .....
"Draw closter tn me-" sed the man in
blak close "Let me git my mouth fernenst
yure ear. Hush-sHEsE A OcrERooN
"Nor' sez I, gittin up in an existed man
ner, "yu don't 50 so! How long has shs
bin in that wAs"
"Frum her airliest infuncy," sed he.