davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1860-11-03
.-<xS S0>@

ALWAYS Room UP-sTA1Rs.--A
young man who was thinking Of study
ing law, said to Daniel Webster :
s.Mr Webster [ understand the profes-
sion of law is quite full, and that there
are more lawyers than are needed; do
you think there is any chance for..me??''
"Ihere IS always room upstairs" was
the reply, and as true as it was ingeni-
ous. Only q few persons reach the
high places, and these are always in
great denand-'There is room enough
upstairs. First-class farmers and
mechanics, as we'll as phys icians, law
yers, &c, always find plenty Of room,
plenty of work, and good pay.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1860-11-03
Rough Beginning Of the Honeymoon.

p On last Friday morning, an athletic
young farmer, in the. town, Of Waynes-
burg, took fair girl, 'fall bathed in
bushes" from her parents, and start
ed for the first town, across the Penn
sylvania line, to be married, where the
ceremony could be performed without
d license. The happy pair were &C.
companied by sister Of the girl, tall,
gaunt, sharp-featured female of some
thirty seven summers. The pair cross
ed the line, were married, and return
ed to Wellsvilie, to pass the night.
People at the hotel where the wedding
party stopped, observed that they con
Quoted themselves In rather singular
manner The husband would take his
sister-in-law, the tall female aforesaid,
into one corner Of the parlor and talk
earnestly to her, gesticulating wildly
the while. Then the tall female would
"put her foot down" and talk to him
n an angry and excited manner. Then
the husband would take his fair young
bride into the corner, but he could no
sooner commence talking to her than
the gaunt sister would rush in between
them and angrily join in the converse
ton. The people at the hotel ascer-
tanned what this meant about o'clock
that evening. There was an uproar
in the room which had been assigned
to the newly married couple. Female
shrieks and masculine ''swears" start
led the people at the hotel, and they
rushed to the spot. The gaunt female
was pressing and kicking against the
door Of the room, and the newly mar
ried man, mostly unGressed, was bar
ring her out with all his mi ght Occa-
sionly she would kick the door far
enough open to disclose the stalwart
husband in his gentleman Greek Slave
apparel.
It appeared that the tall female in
sisted upon occupying the same room
5Tith tho newly-wedded pair; that her
sister was fayorably disposed to the
arrangement, and that the husband
had agreed to it before the wedding
took place, and was now Indignantly
repudiating the contract.
"W ont you 90 away, now, Susan.
peaceful !"' said the newly married
man, softening his voice.
''No," said she, II won't-so there
'Don't you bulge an inch - cried
the newly married sister within the
room.
E'Now--now, Maria,' said the young
man to his wife, in a piteous tone,
"don't go to cuttin' up in this way:
now DON'T" .-....-.. ...-r- E ..: =,
"Ill cut up as much as / wantor!'
she sharply replied. Ill. ...2 .....
"Well, ''roared the desperate man,
throwing the door wide open and
stalking out among the crowd, "well
just you two wimmin put on your duds
and so right strait home and bring
| back the old man and woman, and
your grandfather, who is nigh on to a
hundred, bring 'e.a all here, and I'A
marry the aoho1e id ca6ooaze Of EN-,
otsd eceH all sleep together!n' ...-
The difficulty was finally listed bv
the ta.. s,.. senaie taking a room. Wells
vile is enjoying itself over the sensa-
tion.- ClegeSaaaa Haindeazer.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1860-11-03

A LOVER FINDS HARNESSES IN HIS
DIsAPPoINTMENT.- correspondent at
a Northern watering place thus reveals
how he once passionately suffered and
was cured:
sDoWn in an inner pocket Of that
yalise there lies q little perfumed glove;
years have fled since it was worn, vet
the sent Of the rose-leayes it once press
ed, cllngs to it still: you might turn
each ofits fingers wrong side ont and
discover nothing therein, yet that little
glove contains the history Of q line-a
two volume romance set il nonpareil
solid. 1t is q memento of q watering
place it tells where [ met my fate,
and postscript in the thumb lining tell
where our paths diverged. She was
passionately fond of masics and your
correspondelt-th he had not
thought Of it before-suadenly discov-
cred that he chad an ear, but 10 voice
Subsequent events led him to believe
that his ear was much longer proper
tionally, than his voice was loud. " ell,
from long meter and short meter the
transaction to meet her by moonlight
was quite natural. In the course Of
one OF these moonlight meetings-it
was III June-I remember the month
perfectly, and could tell you the day if
necessary-I gave her my hearts af-
tectlons aud ruby ring, and a red
rose, and she--she gave me that glove
you see there, and said she'd always
be my friend. She is married now to
lawyer ID the southern part of Hi
nols, and has two children and the
fever and ague."
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1860-11-03
Wagon Making l. BlachsmitIling
TN CENTR ALTAI

NORIVEAU & HAMILTON having dissolved
" by mutual consent, and the business left to
Mr.. Coriveau to carry on, he is now prepared
to execute all orders IN repairing wagons
and sleighs, or anything in the Blaclsmiting
line, on the shortest notice and most reasona-
ble terms. Mill machinery repaired with dis
patch and in workmanlikc manner Ok and
Horse Shoeins promptly attended to. A suf-
ficient cnmbcr of hands will be employed to do
any amount of work that may be called for
Centralia Feb IL 1852 7-tf
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1860-11-03

The following is verbatim copy
of druggists bill sent to a party who
had not paid the same:
''Mrs. Nj, Plaise Say to the Lai-
dy that her child gave medicine for
(the amount is 32c) is on book stand
ing and oblige, etc.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1860-11-03

beloved, and II three minutes time the
ceremony was performed-he had en-
tered into a new existence. kissing
his little bride on her ready lips, ne
seated himself on a big cheese, and
commenced, no doubt for the first time
to realize what he was, where he was,
what he had done, and what ought
and must be done.
Starting up suddenly he exclaimed,
half aloud, to himself: "Well, by hokey,
this is a pretty hard way Of passing the
first night.'' ...
The bride blushed and rcplicd,-
"Never mind, John; we are just as
happy as if we were rich. Come sit
down."
But John had all idea, md he was
bound to put it into operation. Going
to his pile Of baggage, consisting Of
one large meal bag containing change
of shirts, socks, neckerchief and old
boots, he took from the legs Of one Of
the boots All excellent AK, and walking
up to the clerks office, he exclaimed:
II say, look here, Cap'n, I've paid
for deck passage, but | want a bed
for myself and w-i--self and wo-
man. [ hain't got no money, but here
is an all jofred good AK"
The gentleman in the Office replied
that the clerk had Just stepped out,
but would be back in q few moments.
| Whereupon the man went back to the
pile Of cheese to look at his precious
treasure.
Having our sympathies aroused, we
hastily ran around among the passen-
gers, told the story, and took up a col
lection to procure a state room for the
young couple. To the credit Of the
lady passengers, they were the most
liberal i'll their donations, and in less
than ten minutes time we had coilec-
ted S14,92. Presenting this sum to
tho agreeably astonished young man,
we informed him that he could now
procure 2 state room with two beds,
one for himself and wife and the other
for the two boys, Thanking Us with
his big watery eyes, he rushed to the
clerks office, where he was met by
Capt. L. a. Pierce, agent Of the line;
OdPt. Nv tLS, COliiiIalluci Ol Tue DOat
and MIR. Garter the clerk.
Capt. Pierce exclaimed, F'Here, MY
good fellow, here's ticket for yourself
and wife to go to Chicago. Get west
as fast as you can; go to work On a
farm, and look out for the land sharks ;;
Capt. Evans pulled out a glittering
coin and said: fFIIere's Eve dollars
keep yourself in good condition. and
=" here the worthy Captain forgot
his speech and ran off laughing as il
he would crack open on the back.
The Clerk, Mr. Garter, handed the
fellow q key, and said, ''You are vel,
come to one Of the best It has two
beds-one for yourself and wife, the
other for the boys"
Capt. Evans having now returned
exclaimed, "Give the boys another
room! They hain't no business in
here he broke down with laughter again,
and hurried away to give orders On
the boat, The couple now retired to
their sumptuous apartment, rs happy
rs 0ortals are allowed to be Oh this
earth, and the Passengers gathered in
knots to praise the liberality Of all con.
cerned, and the comical oddity Of Capt
! FtvauS
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1860-11-03

A ToAsT.-Some enthusiast recently
got off the following toast in honor OF
the fair sex: r-
'sHoops and the Equator-Crinoline
and the Equinoctial hne,-God bless
'em. The one encircles the earth, the
other the heaven
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1860-11-03
HOWARD ASSOCIATION


A Benero1ent Institution estGblishcR5y special En-
document, for tie reIie of the Sick and Distress
cd, afflicted oih oj'rdcat and Epidemic Dis
euses, and especiGlly for tie care Of Diseases Of
the Sexual Organs
MEDIC Al ADVICE given gratis. bv the
Ill Acting Surgeon, to all who apply bv let
ter, with a description of their condition. (aee.
occupation, habits of life, &C., and in cases of
extreme poverty, Medicines furnished free of
charge.
VALUABLE REPORTS on spermatorrhoa,
and other Diseases of the Sexual Organs, and
on the New Remedies employed in the Dis
pensary, sent to the afflicted in sealed letter
envelopes, free of charge Two or three
stamps Tor postage will be acceptable.
Address, DR.. J. SkILLIN HOUGHTON
Acting surgeoa, Howard Association. No 3
Sou n Ninth Street, Philadelphia, Pa. Bv or
der of the Directors u
EAkA D. HEARTWELL, Prest
GEO. FAIRCHILD, Sec,v US |.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1860-11-03
l.. 7. POWERS, Attorney at Law.
T. TT. lang. SURVEYOR.

J. IL. LANG, Surveyor.
HAVING been engaged in the Land Agency
IL business a number of years before Wood
County was formed, and possessing superior
facilities for detecting trespassers on lands
owned by non-rcsdents, We feel assured in
giving perfect satisfaction to all who NAV see
fit to employ US agents to attend to the
prompt payment of Taxes, to the Investigation
of Titles, to recording Deeds, to procuring
Patents on Lands, to the protection of Lands
from trespassers in this and adjae ent counties,
and such other business as they may be called
upon to perform.
We have constantly on hand, good Farming
Lands and Village Lots to sell in quantities
and on terms to suit purchasers.
Land Warrants bought and sold.
Particular attention given to entering ov-
ernment and State Lands.
We are also agents for the -Etna Tnsur-
ance Company.
5-ly POWERS & LANG
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1860-11-03
a Printer on & Tramp. r.

A Dutchman, sitting At the door Of
his tavern III the Far West, is ap-
preached by tall tl.in ! ankce, VINO is
emigrating westward on foot. with a
bundle on cane over his shoulder.
"Vell, mishter Walking Sth;clz, vat
you want 90 .~ -'"" +-e -
"Rest and refreshment, - replied the
printer. os.. ,.-... ..:,.r.
"Supper and lochin, I reckon"
"Yes--supper and lodging"
'sPe you Yanky peddler, nit chew
elry in pack, to shteal te gal?'
"No sir, / am no Yankee pedler.'
"a Singin' mashter, too lazy to
work %
''No sir
"a shenteel shoemaker, vat luves to
measure te gals foots mt ankgles pet
ter tan to make te shoes 90
'sNo sir-or l should certainly have
mended my own shoes" ..-
"a book achent, vat bodders to
school committees Til dcy do vat you
wish, shoost to get rid Of vou?''
"Guess again, sir. | am no DO ok
agent" ....-
"Te tuyvel "A deltlsht, preakin'
the peoples chaws at tollar shnag:'
"No Sir, / am no tooth puller."
SPhrenologist, ten, feelin' te young
folks eads like 20 many cabbitch %
''No, Lor a phrenologist."
''Vell den, vat in te tuyvel can you
be? Shoost tell, unt you shall have te
best sassage for supper, unit shtay all
night, free gratis, nit out payin Won
cent, unit chill Of vishby to start nit
in te mornln.'' r..
81 am an humble disciple of Faust
a professor Of the art preseryative Of
all arts-a typographer, at yoar ser
vice"
"Vatch dat?:''
GA printer, sir; man that prints
both books and newspapers"
GA man vat prints newspapers -
Oh, yaw! yaw. dat ish it--a mar
watch printsh newspapers! Yaw yaw
/ wish I may be shot if ! didn't tinl
you wash poor tuyvel of a district
sehoolmaster, who works for noting
unit poards arount no vhare. though
you wash him. Walk in, walk in,
Mishter Printer-man -
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1860-11-03

The richest man in St. Louis is J.
Ii. Lucas, banker, worth, it is said, S.
100000. Peter Lindell's estate is put
down at s4,ooo,ooo, and that Of Ben
hist, banker, at 81 5000 y
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1860-11-03

"A WOMAN SAVED WEBsFER's s
GREAT REPLY TO HAYNE.-The Taun-
ton (Mass.) Gazette publishes the fol
lowing interesting Renaissance in con-
nection with a notice of Webster's re-
1ply to Hayne .~:... .s...a
cit will be seen by this interesting
narrative that there was a time when
Joseph Gales stood alone among Con
gressional reporters; and to still further
illustrate his position in that line, we
call to mind what we once heard an
intimate friend of Mr.. Webster say he
owed to him and MS wife with regard
to his reply to Hayne. Meeting the
Massachusetts Senator as he was going
to the Capitol on that morning, Mr..
Gales inquired Of hin, hin, how low ions ne was
going to speak. About half an hour,
was the reply. The EDITORS duties at
that time were pressing but he ventuT
cd to take so muck time from them.
Mr.. Webster, however, directly after
met Judge Story, who said he thought
the time had come to give to the couu-
try his views On the Constitution, To
this proposition he assented. Mr..
Gales took his pencil, unaware of this
new arrangement, and alike unconsci-
GUS of the lapse Of time 1nder the en-
chantnent OF the orator, and conse-
quently be wrote on until the close ofI
the speh Some days passed away
and the ''rroof' Of the speech not ap-
pearing, Mr.. Webster called On the
reporter and made inquiry. I have
the notes, said Mr.. Gales, and they are
at your service, as 7 shall never find |
time to write them out. This led to
some remonstrances and persuasions,
but the -taskcd editor stood firm. |
Then Mrs. Gales came to his rescue by
saying that she thought she could de-
cipher her husbands short hand, as
she had formerly occasionally done SO.
Mr. Gales doubted, seeing it was fiji
teen years since she had tried. But
she had heard the speech, and as the
resistless sweep Of its argument and
the gorgeous Ind massive Dlagniicence
Of It's imagery were yet vivid in her
mind, she persisted in undertaking the
difficult work. In due time thereafter
the fair manuscript come to Mr. Web
ster's hands for final correction.
Scarcely a word..peeded to be changed;
and seon a set Of diamonds, costing a
thousand dollars, accompanied the
rich thanks of the eloquent statesman.
Thus was saved to literature the most
Grafton Of the American
Senate" ....--
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1860-11-03

What five letters form a sentence
Of forgiveness? Ixqqu.
Daily national Democrat., 1860-06-06
u. Smiths Bensley Water Cure and
Motorpathic Institution,

Established for the Of all curable diseases Es-
peeally have cur patients been, for the past ye r,
OF those afflicted with rheumatism, ludammatory and
Oar0nic, ChiNs and Fever, Dyspepsia and Consump'
ton, Vertigo, Epilepsy Chronic Diarrhoea, ScrOiua,
Piles, Spinal Affections, Uterine Derangeneuts and
Nervous Debility.
know how to keep yourself aud others weli Are you
a cleryyman7 iawyerf merchant a teacherf an
artist? man Of letters? Are you mechanic far
merf miner a stndentI Are you a sick woman,
worn down with work family cares? girl, deli
cate nervous from study, aud predisposed to cou-
sumption? You may rely on it; that there is no
place in California where all your peculiar Affections
can be so beautifully treated, ana home comforts so
Smith
DR.. Smith was one Of class first graduating from
the first regularly chartered Hydropathic Cor Hygeio
Theraputc) Medical College In the world and first TO
establish an Institution The Pacific coast based
upon the principles OF ygenlc medication as therein
taught
Those who have been doctoring under the "old
school, with poisonous drugs, for weeks months and
years and have not been cured and wish the benefits
OF more rational system, may he assured that DR.
Smith is the best authority in the State. lie has treat
ed over two hundred and fifty patients 81 his Inst,u
ton within the past year both male and female witt
unparalleled success. Six of the number had beer
given mp by their ply sican as incurable who were b
his varied applications and remedies restored 10 goo
health, besides performing many cures through HON
treatment by advice. Every lady treated at the In
stiuton, for spinal complaints, nervous weaknesse
or uterine derangements returned home either well
rapidly recovering, having learned how TO complet
the cure, and keep well in the future.
The Electro Chemical warm bath in connection wit
Water Cure is the only means by which the system ca
De speedily and permanently rid of mercury and DO
sonous drug diseases.
Friends OF medical and dietetca reform are invite
70 visit the Institution and If they desire, can duriu
their stay in the city, be pleasantly accommodated
IkRAs-moderate. Consultation free, verbal or b
- Circulars sent on application, free of posta e
mlo-my d&w BARLOWJ. SMITH, NJ. d.
Daily national Democrat., 1860-06-06
HUDSON. WILEY & GAME,
DEALERS IN
Lumber, Doors, Windows &C.,
Corner OF c and Fourth sts., MarysviIIe,
AND MANUFACTURERS Of
Il u M B Il R,
Clipper Mills, Butte county, and Challenge Mill, Yuba
mll20-u county.
Mad. SchwOerer,
DECLARATION.

II NOW all men by these presents that l, Mary o.
IN Conner, wife of Charles OConner of the city of
Marysvile, Yuba county, California, do hereby de-
clare that intend to carry on business in my own
name independent ofmy said husband; which said bus
iness will consist of the raising and keeping of CATTLE
horses, hogs and other animals and also the raising Of
POutry-and the Iaising of garden and other vegita-
bes and also the business of farming and other mat
ters connected therewith; the amount invested being
$500. MARY o'CONNER.
Marysyille, May 3ist, 1860.
Attest IS. @. ToMPKINs.
State of California County Of Yuba, ss-On this
thirty first day of May, A. D., thousand eight
hundred and sixty before me, S. G Tompkins, a No.
tary Public in and for said county, personally appear
ed Mary OCunner wife Of Charles 0'COnner personal
ly known to to be the person described in and who
executed aud whose name is subsc bed to the fore
going instrument of writing party thereto, having
been by me first made acquainted with the contents
thereof, acknowledged, on an examination separate
and apart FROM and without the hearing of her hus-
band that she executed The freely and yolunta-
ry, without fear or compulson, or undue influence
of her said husband and that she does not wish to
tract the execution of the same.
.... In witGess whereof, l have hereto set nv
seal name and affixed the eNotarial Seal the day and
''''' year in this certificate first above written
$. @. TOMPKINS,
je1 3w Notary Public for Yuba county, Cal.
Daily national Democrat., 1860-06-06

gENHEY regulat. and prepare the stomach to re-
n ceive and digest food in a healthy manner, Civ
ing aclion to the Liver, by removing the secreted
Bile allowing the Body its natural strength. at is
very essential for persons OF every age or condition
in life to be careful and keep their Digestive Organs
In good order. by doing this, they will be proof
against any, all, fthe prevailing Diseases incident
to the different climates, matter what the tempera-
ture OF the sa ne" These BtteTs to do this
in every case, if taken according to directions.
There are thousands of small arteries and avenues
in the human frame, leading to and depending upon
the gastric juices produced by the stomach for the
ed, surely it cannot do its work. Consequently the
body must be fed from unprepared and unnatural
saliva sowing corruption throughout the whole sys-
tenn Bat if the stomach is kept In order the created
saliva goes to enrich the blood, giving a natural
freshness to the cOuntenance, and strengthing the
whole frame.
We desire any and every person using the Bitters
to show them to- and ask the opinion of their conf
Dental family Physician in regard to the merits of the
article.
"Turners' Forest Wine Bitters.o
Are sure to regulate the stomach, the main avenue
Are sure to counteraci Billousness, when in maa-
rious climate;
Are sure to agree with the most aky, as well the
most robust person;
Are sure 10 create good appetite;
Are very pleasant to the taste as beverage;
Are economical and cheap.
All Travellers should carry these bitters with them, to
prevent Billiousness and Fevers, caused by
changes Of climate and water.
Sc linen should carry them to prevent Scurvy, Ship
Fever and the like, when they are deprived Of
cooling nutritious vegetables.
All persons of sedentary habits who cannot rest at
night should take them before going to bed (as foul
and dsarranged stomach always produces a nervous
irritation of the muscular glands, causing sleepess
night They assist the stomach to perform its natur
al powers all lwing the patient to rest with compos.
nre. They very rich, nutritious Wine, formed
by the addition of nine different kinds Of roots, bars
and herbs, making a very paateabe well one of
the most nourshabe Bitters in the known world.
There never has been any article introduced that
has gained such universal confidence, and been so
highly appauded by the public, these Bters. They
have been in about six years, and the sale has in
creased much, that it now takes three large build
ings covering nine lots of ground, to do their
business.
For the better protection of the public, (after this
date, April l5th) we have for LABEL splendid and
each member 81 SIsA Engraving, with the portrait of
against counterfeits or limitations tie g
tcle.
N. B.-Hereafter our FOREST WINE BtTTFRs
will be manufactured from White Wine, which makes
a decided Improvement, unequaed by any other Bit
ters in the United States.
Sold Wholesale by
TURNER BROTHERS.
Corner Washington and Franklin streets, N. Y,
Niagara street, Buffalo N. Y,
Corner Broadway and Front SITS. San Francisco, Cal.
And for Sale by Merchants and Druggists every
where ap20-3m