Daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1865, 1860-01-23

Notices for Political Meetings to 10 charged In all
cases at full rates.
Marriages. Notices of Funerals and announcements
Of Sermons, 40 cents each nov11'59
THE last number of Punch is CLEVER
The close of the volume is duly announced
thus: :-"Annihilating without an effort
some weeks of tine, Mr.. Punch presented
himself at the door of the Congress of Par
is, 1860 = and there, in mute rs
tonishmcnt and d;sn.ay, sat the Congress,
covering as the. tremendous apparitton
broke upon the rH HEmbers. The very frsth-
crs of their pens Stood on end with terro.
and the ink turnehlpnle in the silver siam
dishes. : Z *;fIn the midst of them
all, there, upon the Yelvet-covered Council
Board, had descended the mighty Tome
They looked at it as men might regard Il
suddenly altghted bomb-shell-thi in
stant an iron sphere, the next an iron
storm. Yet there was 81 difference in
their, bearing. Restraining himself, by
strong will, the Elected of the Millions
sat, silent as the Ephynx. The Austrian
muttercd Latin invocntions taught him 10y
the Jesuits The Russian shuddered a he
thought of Sebastopol and its .ts"H e!fer.
The Prussian glanced at the door, but then
bore himself manfnlly. The Sardinian
half moved to dash his plumcd hat npon
the floor; but fore1ore. The pope bonneted
himself and bewafled aloud in :'lioly sor-
row. For the rest, they were simply fab
berghastcd. 4 "You are here to
adjust the affairs of Europe" proceeded
Mr.. Punch, in voice that sank deep into
the heart of every bosom. Before You
dare to take them in hand, take My Gouu-
sells to your hearts There are my coun-
scls!" lie pointed to the Tome that lay
before them. at your peril neglect this,
and will brand your Congress in such
sort that no lapse of Ages shall wear out
my fire-mark BE wisQr
He turned and departed. But he left
upon the Congress Board his 37th Vol =
Ix PARI PAssu.-An English reason, half
bad, half good, why Admiral Bpwies ought
not to mlnd ut Observation-Disclosures
he's "piOus octOgGnarlan."
An Italian reason, altogether good, why
Because he's ii "I'io-N -Nonogcnariau.f
PAEDoNABLE AT CHRISTMAS In the in
tercst of the Field Lane Refuge, to which
Mr.. Punch begs that everybody will send
all the old clothes they can spare. he sUg-
gests ~ new reading of IL misunderstood
text. lie would say, "Charity covcreth IL
multitude of skins
One FOR PAM-LOrd Palmcrston said at
Tl,,,~,f I,1.I l,n al
hand. 1t was not often necessary to him.
At least, We never saw him at the slightest
loss to take down an Opposition spe;.kt r
"SHonT AND (xOT) SWEET. John Ar
thur Dogtenr'em Roebuck, Esq. once a
Bath Chap, and now Sheffield Blade not
always of the best temper.
y FREE ADMIssION.-A very tastidiOus
musical critic, Il PrOpos of the new opera
of Victorime, admits that Mellon has the
seeds of talent in him.
a CoNuNDRUM FOR TwEFrn NIGHT.
Why are the hop growers of Kent " SEN
siblc race of men?
Because they put their pride in their
pockets.
ONE OF THE COMPLIMENTS OF THE SEASON.
Why is the Marquis of Westminster like
1860?
because he's exceedingly ac"r.
y CURE FOR THE HEARTAcHE.-MAtri-
mony.
Tus CoLDxsr R1yEr AT THIS TINE on ruE
YEAR?-Why ii is the Dnieper.
Toast AT AN AGRICULTURAL MEETING
Here's to the Rihemeu-England's truest
aud Stnnchesi Protectiouists!'
THE Greatest REvo.vEn on REcoRn.-
The World.
ASPIRATION The H-bonc of Contention.
JOHN BULL GUARDS his PUDDING.
John Ball lie hOs lou.cs John Bull i'c has lands,
lie has beef. lie has mutton-haS pudding and ! elf;
lie doubt feels it hard a ha stands upon guard
Both to pay his poIicc-rntes and watch for him'olE
+But :cm sneaks," says they cook, "before one can
look.
They Whips down the area all Of a sublime
So 10 keep what he's got from the area sneaks pot
John Bull is determined to guard his own pudding
With his East and West Indies, Australas, ana
ScindeS.
For citron and suet. for sugar and spice
With such plns Gibraltar, SUCH currants as Malta,
No wonder the rGSclls should long for slice
John is !b'rul at giving. as any man living: