The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1860-03-15
VARIETY y.

Who hath aching teeth hath ilL-tenants.
You cannot make velvet Of a sow's ear.
Lay Of the Great EasteTH-Delay.
F.reman's NOtto-Water, water everywhere, but
not 4 drop to drink.
He Is truly wise who can endure evil and enjoy
good.
Begin life with but little show: you may increase
IL afterwar1.
It is common, says Tacitus, to esteem most what is
most unknown.
1t crsts us more to be miserable than would make
US perfectly happy.
When n great man stoOps or trims, the small men
around him suddenly become greater.
We suppose that liberation IS carried quite far
enough when men tolerate intolerance.
Never despise humble services; when large ships
run aground, little boats may pull them of.
Children are much ike jelIies-as they are nodded,
lie j. n frst-rate collector who can. upon all occa-
si0ns, collect his wits.
Scandal, like the Nile, Is fed by innumerable
streamsi but it Is extremely difficult to trace it to its
source.
Why wouId a printer make a good lawyer, Be
cause be would always be sure TO understand the
lease"
4 Yankee who recently returned from Newfound-
land, says that the fog is so thick there that he used
TO drive a nail in it to hang his hat on.
An Arkansas paper says that many Of the girls in
that State grow six feet high They must be uncom-
monty we'll cultivated.
Boiling ndignation-SPi some hot soup over an
old lady's dress, and see how she will take it -
Punch.
An exchange say thS:, . in the absence Of both
editors, the publisher had succeeded in securing the
services Of a gentleman to edit the paper that week
WIFE," I don's think. husband, that you are very
smart" No, indeed, wife; but everybody knows I
am awfully shrersL-"
world i truly 4 Mathematical line-without breadth
or thickness.
An old lover is ridiculous; you had better give up
all thoughts of love-letters when you can no longer
read them without spectaees.
We are not disposed to denounce the President
IS hard words butter no parsnips-"-Cia. Gazette.
And we too might be disposed to fOrego the use Of
hard words. if we had no nobler object in view than
TO butter plrsnips.
lie that never acknowledges himself to have been
wrong, probably will never be right the best confess
sions were written, not by the worst, but by the best
Of men.
There il but one way Of securing universal equality
10 man. and that Is to regard every honest employ
ment as honorable, and then for every man to learn,
in whatsoever state he may be Herewith to be con-
tent, and TO fulfil, with strict fidelity, the duties Of
his station, and to make every condition a post Of
honor.
CorETEsY.-No woman can be a lady who would
wound or mortify another. No matter how beauti-
ful, how refined, how cultivated she may be, she is in
reality coarse, and the innate vulgarity of her nature
maniests itself here. Uniformly kind. courteous and
polite treatment Of all persons is one mark of a true
woman, and of a true man also
WISDOM AND IGSORaNCE-The wise are modest in
department, the ignorant assume many airs Of cOnse-
quence. An ignorant dandy may be known by his
dictatorial course ut hotels and on steamboats, He
makes more noise than a hundred Franklins.
Decrease Of crime follows a decrease Of criminals
Ireland emp;el her peEitentiaries, Jiits, warehouses;,
and houses Of correction, upon the United States.
While there has been u decrease of crime in that
country, what has been the state of the case in the
other
\ COMMENTARY on CEsAE.-Julius Caesars letter,
81 came, | saw. l conquered" has been admired for
nearly two thousand years for its terseness. We
think it rather verbose. The words Il saw" are
entirely superiuOrs. Indeed, we think 81 came"
wholly unnecessary. 81 conquered would tell the
whole story. But Julius had, no doubt, Il good deal
OF leisure when he wrote that letter. and his style
suffered in consequence
WALL STREET.
At the top Of the street the lawyers you greet
a. ne lion IN "a uATsg yoS = e.r.ah % nee
FSr there's easSi in thu river aud cEiiE in the street
rHE LAWYERS ENFLT-
Why should honesty ay To- some safer retreat
From the lawyers and barses odd rot EN-,
When the lawyers are JUsT At the top % the street
AMI the bar-es are JrsT at the bottom!
Here Is n fifty years old jsu d'esPrit that Is quite as
good rs new. A rich old gentleman by the name OF
Gould married a girl not yet out Of her teens After
the wedding, he wrote the following, TO inform a
friend Of the happy event;
Though eighty years old,
Fa!is in love with Old Could -
To which the doctor replied:
~ girl of nineteen
May love Gould. it IL true
But believe me. dear sir,
1t T. gold without II -"
PRACrrCAL JOKING.-'A few days SINCE" writes
an attorney, "as I was sitting with Brother D.,
ia his Office IN Court Square, Z client came in and
said.
esquire D, Virgins, the lvery-stable man,
shaved me dreadfnIly. yesterday, and l want to come
up with him
Estate YOUR case says D
Client asked him how much he would charge
me for n horse and wagon TO go to Dedham. He said
one dollar and a half. / took the team, and when |
came back, I paid him one dollar and q half, and he
said he wanted another dollar and a half for coming
back. and made me pay it
% gave him some legal advice, which the
client Immediately acted upon, az follows:
"He went TO the stable keeper and said,
How much will you charge me for a horse and
wagon TO go 70 Salem
Virgins replied, : Five dollars
" Harness him cd =
Client went to Salem, came back by railroad,
went TO the stable saying,
Here is your money! paying him five dollars
Where i my horst aud wagon - says Virgins.
lie Is at Salem says client. : L only hired him
to 20 10 Salem
preDaratjouS for Hair.