Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1860-06-21
Dun1urous 8eabtng.
gURIoUsANTIcs OF MRS. sCRUa-
,.-~ GTNS, cow

She use to come up as reglar to her milk as
clock-work. She'd knock at the gate with
her horns jest as sensible as any other hu-
man critter. Her name was Rose. I nev.
er knowed how she got that name, for she
was black as kittle. Well, one day Rose
gotsick and wouldn't eat nothin, poor thing
and day or two arter she died; rally do
believe I cried when that poor critter was
gone. Well, we went little spell without
a COW; but told Mr.. Scruggins it would
not due no way nor no how: for have
another cow We must; and he gin in
Whenever said must, Mr.. Scruggins
knowed Ismeant 3it-well, few days arter
he cum home with the finest COW and young
calf you ever seed. He gin thirty dollars
for her and the calf, and two levies to a
man to help bring her hum. Well, they
druy her into the back yard, land Mr.. Scrug-
gins told me to come out and see her, and
I went up to her jest as I use to did to
Rose; and when I said, Poor Sukey,
would you believeit, the nasty brute she
kicked me right in the fore part of my
back. Her foot eotched into my dress,
bran-new dress tue, cost two levies yard,
and she took levy's worth right out, jest
as clean as the back of my hand. I screach-
ed right out, and Mr.. Scruggins cotched
me as was dropping-I want quite 50
heavy then as am now: and he carried me
to the door, and I went in and sot down. 1
felt kind o. faintish, I was SO 'bomnibly
skeered.s Mr. Seruggins said he'd larn her
better manners, 50 he picked up the poker
and went out But hadn't hardly begun
to git leetle strengthened up afore in
rushed my dear, dear husband, fourishing
the poker, and that vicious COW arter him,
with her head down and tail up, like all
mad. Mr.. Scruggins jumped into the room
and before he had time to turn round and
shut the door, that desp'rate COW was in,
tue. Mr.. Soruggins got up on the dining
table, and I run into the parlor. I thought
I'd be safe there, but I was skeered so bad
that I forgot to shet the door, and, would you
believe it latter hooking over the dining;
table and rolling Mr. Scruggins of, in she
walked into the parlor, shaking her head,
Jest as much as to say, 'I'll give you
touch now jumped on chair, but
thinking that want high enough, Igot one
foot on the brass knob of the Franklin
stove, and put the other on the mantle
piece. You ought to have seen that cow
in our parlor. She looked all round as if
she was 'mazed. At last she looked into
the looking-glass, and thought she see
another COW exhibiting passion, like her
self. She shuck her head and paved the
carpet, and so did her reflection, and,
would you believe it? the awful brute
went right into my lookiug-glass!, Well,
then I boohood right out. I 'spose she
thought she heard her calf, for she poked
her head into Mr.. Scruggins' bookcase
no doubt she smelt the calfskin covers. All
this time / was sitting agonised. The
brass knob on the stove got so hot that /
had to sit on the narrow mantle. piece and
hold on to nothin'. I dassaint move, for
fear I'd slip of. Mr.. Scruggins come round
to the front door, but it was locked, and
then he cum to the window and opened it.
I jumped down and run for the window,
and hadn't more than got my head out
afore heard that critter comm arter me.
Gracious, but was in hurry. More haste
less speed always; for the more tried to
climb quick, the longer it took me; and,
would you believe it? jest as got ready to
jump down, that brute of a COW cotched me
behind, and turned me clean over and over
out of the window Well, when got right
side up Gas they put on looking glass
boxes, } looked up to the window, and there
stood that COW, with her head between the
white and red curtains, and with another
piece of my dress dangling on her horns.
Well husband and me was jest starting for
the little alley that rau along side of the
house, when the COW gin bawle, and out
the window she come, whiskin' her tail
about. 1t cotched on fire in the Franklin
stove and it served her right, Mr.. Scrug-
gins and me run into the alley in such haste
we got wedged fast. Husband tried to get
ahead, but I'd been in the rear long enough,
and I wouldn't let him. And, would you
believe it? that dreadful COW no sooner seen
US in the alley, when she made a DASH
But, thank goodness! she struck fast tue.
Husband tried the gate, but that was fast,
and there was nobody inside the house to
open it. Mr.. Scruggins wanted to climb
over and unbolt it, but I wouldn't let him.
L wasn't going to be left alone again with
that desperate cow, if she was fast and l
made him help me over the gate. All,
dear! climbing high gate, when you are
skeered by COW, is a dreadful thing, and
I knowit! Well, 1 got over, let husband
in, and then it took him and me and four
other neighbors to git that dreadful critter
out of the alley. She beloved and kicked, 4,
and her calf beloved to her, and she bawl-
ed agin but we got her out at last, and
sich time, ah dear.
d had enough of her husband sold her
for $40 the next day. 1t cost him seventy
cents to git her to market; and when he
tried to pass one of the SIS bills he got,
would you believe it? the nasty rag was
a counterfeit. Mr.. Scruggins said to his
dying day that he believed know what
COWS is
The old lady's agitation was so great at
this point of her story, she dropped stitch
in her knitting.
ANECDoTE RELATED BY PRESI-
DENT MADISON.