Delaware gazette. [volume] (Delaware, Ohio) 1855-1886, 1860-02-24
VOL. XIII.
Published by Request
THE CELESTIAL RAILROAD.


gate of dreams, l visited that region of the
earth in which lies the city of Destruction
1t interested me much to learn that, by the
public spirit of some of the inhabitants, a
railroad had been established between this pop
ulous and fioufishing town and the Celestial
City. Having little time upon my hands, l
resolved to crafty a liberal curiosity by ma
king trip thither. Accordingly, one fine
morning, after paying my bill at the hotel, and
directing the porter to stow my luggage be-
hind coach, l took my seat in the vehicle and
set out for the station house. It was my good
fortune to enjoy the company of gentleman
one Mr.. Smooth it-away-w though he
had never actually visited the Celestial City,
yet seemed as well acquainted with it's laws,
customs, policy, and statistics as with those OF
the City of Destruction, of which he was a
native townsman. Being, moreover, direc-
tor of the railroad corporation, and one of its
largest stockholders, he had it in his power to
give me all desirable information respecting
that praiseworthy enterprise.
Our coach ratified out of the city, and at a
short distance from its outskirts, passed over a
bridge cf elegant construction, but somewhat
cradle weight On both sides lay an extensive
quagmire, which could not have been more
disagreeable, either to sigh or smell, had all
the kennels of the earth emptied their pollu-
ton there.
"This," said Mr. Smooth-it-away, is the
famous Slough Of Despond-a disgrace to all
the neighborhood and the greater that it
might so easily be converted into firm ground
Z" l have understood" said I, that efforts
have been made for that purpose from time
immemoral'
Very probably-and what effect could be
anticipated from such unsubstantial stuff? "
said MIR. Smooth-it-away. You observe this
convenient bridge. We obtained sufficient
foundation for it by throwing into the Slough
some editions of books Of morality, volumes OF
French philosophy and German rationalism
tracts sermons, and essays of metlern Clergy
men, extracts from Plato Confucius, and vari-
Gus Hindoo sages, together with a few ingeni-
Gus commentaries upon texts of Scripture al
of which, by some scientific process, have been
converted into a mass like granite. The whole
bog might be filed up with similar matter"
1t really seemed to me, however, that the
/
formidable manner and in spite of MIR
Smooth-it-aways testimony to the soIitity oi
its foundation, should be 10th to cross it in a
crowded omnibus, especially if each passenger
were incumbertd with as heavy luggage is that
gentleman and myself. Nevertheless, we eol
over without accident, and soon found our
! selves at the Station house. This very neat
and spacious edifice is erected on the site of tho
! little Wicket Gate, which formerly. as all oit
/ pilgrims will rtcoect stood directly acres:
! the highway. and by lis inconvenient narrow
/ ness, was great obstruction to the trayr!tr o.
/ liberal mind and and expansive stomach.
4 large number of passengers were already
! 1T the Station house, awaiting the deral turt
OF cars. BY the aspect and eemcnor Of tht
persons it was easy to i,dre that the feeling.
/ of the community had undergone Il favorable
/ change, i'll reference to the celestial pilgrimage
Il would have done Bunvan's heart good t.
sec it. Instead Of Il lonely aud ragged nlal
with huge burthen on his back, p:t,itliil:
along scrrowiilily Oh foot while The whole cit,
hooted after him. here were parties of the frs
gentry and most respectable people in TIL
ncighborliood setting forth toward the Cclcs
|
were merely a summer tour. Amcrg the gen
tlcmcn were characters Of deserved emncnct
magistrates, and men of wealth, by whose eA
ample religion could not but be greatly recon
mended to their mcancr brethren. In the /;
, dies apartment, too, | rcjOiced to distinSuls
some of the flowers of fashionable society, VIII
are SO well fitted to adorn the most elevate
circles Of the Celestial City. There was niue
pleas:l' conversation about the rews Of til
day, topics of business, politics, or the lightc
matters of amusement while religion. tnou9
indubitably the main thing at heart, W.
thrown tastefuly into the background. Eve
; an infdcl would have heard little or nothin
, to shock his sensibiity.
One great convenience of the new method {
| going on pilgrimage l must not forget TO mel
ton Our enormous burthens, instead of b
ing carried on our shoulders as had been IL
custom of old, were all snugly deposited in IL
f baggage car, and | was assured, would be d
lvered to thier respective owners at the jou
neys end. Another thing, likewise, the bene
olent reader viii be delighted to understand
t 1t will be remembered that there was an a
cent feud between Prince Beelzebub and IL
4 keeper of Wicket Gate, and the adherents
$ the former distinguished parsonage were accu
i toned to shoot deadly arrows at honest p
: grims while knocking at the door. This di
# pute, much to the credit as we'll of the illu
a trious potentate above mentioned, as of Il
! worthy and enlightened directors of the ra
r road, has been practically arranged on Il
v principle of mutual compromise. The Prince
If subjects are now pretty numerously el
= ployed about the station house, some in taksI
e care of the baggage, others in collecting fut
4 feeding the engines, and such congenial occ
is pations; and | can conscientiously affirm tn
- persons more willing to accommodate, or mo
- generally agreeable to the passengers, are n
of to be found on any railroad. Every good hea
! must surely exult at so satisfactory arrane
ment of an immemorial difficulty.
"Where is Mr.. GREAT HEART" I inquir
"beyond doubt the directors have engag
3s that famous old champion to be conductor
~ the railroad?'
r. "Why, no. said Mr.. SMooTH-IT-AwAY, W
IN a dry cough. He was offered the situation
n. breakman; but to tell you the truth, {
it friend GREAT-HEART has grown prepostero
lg ly stiff and narrow in his old age. He has
in often guided pilgrims over the road on f
d. that he considers it a sin to travel in any G
of er fashion. Besides, the old fellow had ent
off ed so heartily into the ancient feud with Pri
al Beezebub that he would have been perpet,
-er ly at blows, or i'll language with some of
We Princes subjects, and thus have embroiled
Ids anew So, on the whole, we were not so
ms when honest GREAT-HEART went off to
ms Celestial City in u huff, and left at libc
IRE to choose more sultapie ana accommoda'
he man. Yonder comes the conductor of
cir train. You will probably recognize hin
nd once"
ak The engine at this moment took its stat
try in advance of the cars looking, must con-