Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1860-10-26
Fact, Fun and Fancy.

'ii anu ~ va hdu Dcttel NC ) Oui oNH'
A CHANGE Of fortune hurts a wise man no
more than change of the moon.
A FELLOW that does mt benefit the world
by his life, does it by his death.
-'toH, that my father was seized with n
remittant ieyerW sighed young speudthrifl
at college.
- WoMES who sue for breach of promise,
may fail to get money; but they generally re-
eeiye heavy damages.
- Az Enron, recording the career of a mad
dog, says; We are gricyed to say that the
rabid animal, before il could be killed, severe
ly bit Dr. Hart, and setesol osacy dogs.
- TIE young widow who lately recovered
heavy damages from a rich gentleman who
Rugged her somewhat rudely, should take care
of her money-for she mate il By a tight squeeze.
- BILL SWELLING was sent to Jail for habitu-
al drunkenness One Of his old crones was
asked, 4" why don't you bail him out?' Bale
him out" he replied, "why, man, you could
NOT pump him ont"
DIPLOMAS are not always worthily bestow-
cd. And shcepskin is often taken from the ami
NAL that is entitled to it, to be given to an ami
NAL that isn't
A FRIEND Of ours who left the editorial
fraterity year ago. is now engaged in raising
pigs. So he has again taken the pen in hand
A FRGScHMAY, intending to compliment
young lady by calling her a gentle lamb,
said, g She is one mutton as is small :"
THE BEST LEGAcY.-No man can leave a bet
ter legacy to the world than well-cducated
family
-" THERE is no peace on this side of the
grave, said a clergyman, when preaching at
the grave Of a friend We'll, old chap" said
ajolly jack tar, "you can come over on this
side, we are quiet enough here"
--THE comparative economy of the two sex
cs has been thus defined: A man gives two
shillings for an eighteen penny thing that he
wants, and woman gives eighteen pence for
/" tWo-siiilling thing she does not want.
MARRIAGE AT THREE-ScoRB AND TEx.--In Ii
verton, R. l., on the 18th instant, Mr.. Paul Ia
Dor, aged u, was married to Mrs. Sarah Lake,
who is 10 years old. g 1t is pleasant says
the Fall River News, to see the flowers of
love springing up and blooming swcety in the
winter of life''
A POWERFUL Memory There is said to
be liying in Cincinnati man who is possessed
Of such powerful memory, that he is employ
Cd by the various benevolent societies to re-
member the poor
= A LADY asked her gardner why the weeds
always out grew and covered up the flowers?
Madame he answered 9 the soil is mother
of the weeds, but only step-mothcr of the
flowers M
- WHEN You negotiate for house having
all the modern improvements, you viii gene
rally find that mortgage is one Of them.
- TIM fellow who was requested to foot
up, did 50 by standing upon his head. In
convenient style of getting receipt that
- IT is the opinion of the doctor that tie
lawyer gets his living by plumber, while the
lawyer thinks the doctor gets his by 'pillage"
-" feel said an old lady, i" that Eve got
about through with this world | shant en-
joy much more houblen
--ToKNow thepains of power, wemust 60 TO
those who have il; ohcarqbouti It's pleasures,
we must so TO those who are seeking it: its
pains are real, its pleasures are imaginary.
An editor in Iowa has become so hollow
ft.fnh daponIinfr =,
bread, that he proposes to sell himself for
stove pipe.
IN Japan, man goes into society as soon
rs be knows how to get drunk. If such was
the rule in this country the race of fishiona-
bles would be very large.
PRgNrcE AGAIN.-The Douglas organs con-
tend that there is difference between SCATTER
sovereignty aud popular sovereignty. Ger
tainly squatter sovereignty isn't popular
PHlosornERs say that shutting the eyes
makes The hearing more acute. \ wag sug-
gests that-ths accounts for SO many closed
eyes at church in sermon time.
A CHINESE maxim says "We require
four things of woman that virtue dwell in
her heart-that modesty play on her brow
that sweetness flow from her lips--that indus
try occupy her hand"
-Ir Isa common saying Of moralists, that
the lower order Of animals have not the vices
of mani yet it is certain that some Of the in
seets are backbiters, and all of the quadrupeds
tale-bearers.
Some Of the moralists tell us that woman
suffers great wrongs. No doubt she does but
we sometimes think, when we see her now-a-
days, that She needs rcdressing more than her
wrongs do.
- Ar a recent festive meeting, married
man, who ought to know better, proposed
1.-THE Ladies' as the beings who divide our
sorrows double our joys, and treble our ex-
pensesW .E4a 8Fr o
a--WhsN his cousin, Charlotte Dunno, was
lnirred, Jones said ''h was Dunno before
i Was begun, Dunno while it was doing, and
itwas not Dunno when irwas done.''
- To find one who has passed through life
without sorrow, you must find one incapable
of love or hatred, of hope or fcar-onc that
hath no memory Of the past and no thought
Of the future-one that hath no sympathy
with humanity, and NO feeling in common
With the rest Of the species.
- Asone of the Dover England volunteers,
was passing along, rifle in hand, he was accost-
cd by.a precoeious urchin, who called out