The Alleghanian. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1859-1865, 1860-01-12
NO. 2l.
MIThhD WISDO M

nsa. IF Yankee should meet Death on
the pale horse, he would certainly banter
him to swap CRITTERS"
n5F~ Never go back-never. What
you attempt, do it with all your strength.
Determination is omnipotent.
HS- A skilful political leader can be as
despotic as leader of fashion he may
change once a month, and his votaries will
follow him.
Ea~ A young lady, being asked what
was her notion Of the Anglo-French alli-
ance, replied, "English heads and French
bonnets."
RA- The human heart, like feather
bed, must be roughly handled, well shak-
en-, and exposed to variety Of turns, to
| prevent its becoming hard.
g8~ 4 young lady, fond of dancing,
traverSes In the course of season about
! four hundred miles. Yet no lady would
think of walking that distance in six
months.
| asa A down east editor says he has
seen the contrivance our lawyers use when
| they warm up with the subject. He says
| it is a glass concern and holds about
! pint
asa- Last winter it is said COW foated
down the Mississippi river on piece of
| ice, and caught such a cold that she has
yielded nothing but ace cream. ever since.
Too much ice about that story
n "Father, how many days. are there
in 1860 % said young hopeful to his
paternal ancestor. 'Why 500, of course"
was the reply. "No there amt; forty of
'em are Lent"
ssg- "Mr. Conductor, does the railroad
stop here ?''
''No marin, the cars stop here, but the
railroad goes right on to Albany"
Scene closed with a green parasol pat
ting a blue covered book on the back
RSg~ "My dear, what is the matter with
our puss See how she swells her tail
and arches her back at the sausage | gave
her that was left on the plate" 20, that
is nothing; she merely scents old Towser
in it"
pg~ We clip the following from one of
our exchanges, which by the way is more
truth than poetry:
! .'The nymph who walks the public streets,
| And sets her cap for all she meets,
| May catch the fool who turns to stare,
! But men of sense avoid the snare"
nea- "My DEAR" inquired a young wife
of her husband, as she reached up her rosy
| little mouth to be kissed on his return
from his labor, shave you seen the mag
nifcent set of walnut furniture which the
Jenkinses have just bought ?" "Hem,
no, my love, but | have seen the bill,
which quite satisfies me-"
BaE~ We once heard lady say that in
walking the streets of sister city she
heard man, who appeared to be a for
eign sailor, loudly vociferating that this
was the most Independent country of all
| others for sailors to live in. Here said
he, "for four coppers, man may get drunk
and have half enough to get drunk again.
Ray~ DWELL, I know nothing about
mems hair; but there is our friend, Mrs.
c., of Biddle Street (the lady who has
| been just twenty-nine years old for the last
fifteen years her husband died, you know,
| last winter, at which misfortune her grief
was so intense that her hair turned COM
pletely JIach within twenty-four hours af-
ter the occurrence of that sad event.
asa- A witty auctioneer was trying to
sell an old hand-organ. To that end he
was grinding out the music, and the crowd,
in sport, began TO throw out pennies, when
a dandy standing by said "Sir, you ought
| to have monkey"
'My good fellow" said the auctioneer,
$50 had step right up here
The dandy vanished.
Bsa- At friends house one evening,
the Sabbath school children met to prac-
tice singing, preparatory to an exhibition.
| The next day an elder sister asked little
Johnny why he didn't 90 home with one
of the little girls.
II should have gone home with that
| girl that had on white apron, if I'd had
anybody to come back with me-" answer
ed he, artlessly.
BSs~ "Tm very sorry" said learned
judge to young woman, who hesitated
much in giving some very unpleasant ev-
idence, II am very sorry to have to en-
force such an explanation as this; it must
of course, be painful to any decent person,
but the ends Of justice require it +; and not
only SO, but all the well-dressed females
you see on either side of me, have come
| long way to hear that which pains you so
much TO utter"