Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1860-04-26

! Worth makes the man, the want Of it the fellow
All the rest is leather and prunella.'
RATHER GREEDY.-A scene occurred
at our depot, writes Missouri friend, th'
other day which, for cool impudence, have
seldom seen parallcled. l was standin!
there on the arrival of the St. Louis packet
when gentleman comes up and addressed
man standing close by me and evidently
stranger to him, with the common West
ern question
do you use tobacco y
Yes, sir, he graciously replied, and pro
ducing plug of the highest dimensions
he handed it to the applicant, who, taking
out his knife, cut off about one-ffth of it
with the common observation
There's tobacco enough for any man
amt there p
We'll, l should think there was wa'
the indignant reply,
Very well, you take it then,' he coolly
observed, and handing him the small piece
he put the plug into his pocket, and walked
away.
Bay Some years since poor boy in
county, Virginia, named Timberlake, wa:
sent to school gratuitously, by gentleman
named Starke. The boy was ploughing one
day with one horse team, and his horse
being disposed to turn aside from the true
course he bawls out to him, why DOM
you come hither, l tell you?' A gentle
man happening to be near, and overhear'
ing the boys exclamation, called to him
and says, Il thought Starke sent you tc
school to learn grammar"
well, 'spose he did, was the reponse,
do You think l am such fool as to talk
grammar to horse"
NoT1ss.-John Smith, blacksmith and
barbershop, horse shelving and shaving done
here, lox mended, hare curled, bleeding
and tooth drawing, and Farriery work. p.
S.-All sorts spiritus and other molt lickers
according to the kimicle act, and licensed
to be drunk on the premises. n. P.-Takc
notiss-my wife keeps skule, and takes in
needle work, and polite art, and washing
teaches reading, and ritins, and ryithmytls,
and other langwitches and as assistants to
learn dancing, and matthewmaticks and all
other fashionable amusements.
AN IRISH VALENTINE.-Oh, Paddy
swate Paddy if was ye're daddy, I'd kill
yc with kisses entirely; if | was ye'er
bruther and likewise ye're muther, I'd see
that ye went to bed early. To feel ye'er
swate breath, | would starvc me to death,
and lay off my hoops altogether: to just
have taste of ye're arm on my waste, I'd
laugh at the mcancst of weather. Dear
Paddy, be mine, my own valentine-you'l
find me both gentle and civil ; our life We
will spend to an illegent end; and care may
90 dance with the devil.
gSs- Mrs Jemima Jipsou never could 60
to bed without first looking underneath to
see if somebody was not slowed away there ;
but her search had always been bootless.-
At last, one night she spied Cor though she
did, which is all the same) the long-look-
ed for boots and legs.
oh. Mr.. Jipson Mr.. Jipson there's
A man under the bed"
is there p coolly drawled the husband.
We'll, my dear, am glad YOU have found
him at last-you have been looking for him
these twenty years
B9s- Pm very sorry said learned Judge
to young woman, who hesitated much in
giving some very unpleasant evidence. d
am very sorry to have to enforce such an
explanation as this 1t must of course be
painful to any decent person, but the ends
of justice require it; and not only so, but
all the well dressed females on either side
of me have come long way to hear that
which pains you so TO utter
E=s> \ country schoolmaster had hum
dred pupils and no assistant. Il wonder how
you manage them,' said friend, without
help
..Ah,' was his answer, i could manage
the hundred boys we'll enough it's the two
hundred parents that troubles me-there's
no managing them
g9- At recent fashionable dinner party,
the man what puts his hair in papers,
proposed the following toast: The Ladies
Red, White and Blue On being de-
sired to explain, he broke loose as follows !:
They blush celestial rosy Rel.
When lovers ask them to he wives
Are WIT" a. marble when they wed,
And Bl", through al their married lives.
s8- Sheridan being on Parliamentary
committee one day, entered the room as
the members were seated and ready to COM
mcncc business. Perceiving no empty seat,
he bowed, and looking round the table with
droll expression Of countcnanee, said,
will any gentleman mor" that | may take
the chnir?'
MONEY LENDER-slou want hundred
dollars? Here's the money: | charge five
per cent. month in advance, and as you
want it for year, that leaves Just forty
dollars coming to you:
Innocent Borrowcr-.Then if | wanted
it for two years, therey'd be something com
ING to YOU
sZ- \ man applied once to he shipped
before the mast. Are you an able seaman
or a green hani?' why, no, not an able
,.,,,o, bat nv,..l,- f,rnop hand