Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1860-12-28
Major Jack Downing on Secession


AND ILLUSTRATES IT WITH A LUCID Ex
AMPLE
We produce for the benefit of the pres
eDt day and generation, the following let
ter on Notification, from the celebrated
pen of Major Jack Downing:
WASHINGTON, Jan. II, 1888.
To the editor of the Portland Courier. in tn,
Mariners Church Building. second story, east
ern end, Fore street, away DOVE East in the
State of Maine
My KIND AND DEAR OLD FRIEND The
Presidents message to Congress makes
cracking work here. Mr. Calhoun shows
his teeth ike lion. Mr. McDufie is cool
as a cucumber, though they say he's got a
terrible temper inside Of him, that he'n let
out before long. For my part think the
Presidents message is about ri hit. was
sitting with the President in tie east room
last night, chatting about one thing and
another. and the President SAYS be, Major
Downing. have you read my message that
sent to Congl ess to-day? l told him |
hadn't. Well, says he, should like to
have you read it and give me your opinion
upon it. So he handed it to me and | sot
down and read it through.
And wen | got through, now says | Gin
eral, III tell you jest what | think of this
ere business. When I was a younester,
some Of Us DowningyilIe boys used to 90
down to Sebago pond every s pring, and
hire out rafting logs across the pond =
And one time | and cousin Ephram, and
Joel, and Bill johnson, and two or three
more Of US had each of US whopping big
log to carry across the pond 1t was rath-
er windy day and the waves kept bobhing
up and down pretty considerable bad, so
we agreed to bring EN- along side and side
and lash 'em together and drive some thole-
pins IN the outermost logs and row 'em
over together. We went along two or
three miles pretty well. But by and by
Bill Johnson began to complain He was
an uneasy sharem scarem sort of fellow
Always thought everybody else had an
easier time than he had, and when be was
boy, always used to be c. mpIaining that
the other boys had more butter on their
bread than be had Well, Bill was rowing
on the leaward side. and he began to fret
and said bis side went the hardest. and he
wouldn't give US any peace till one of US
changed sides with him.
Well, Bill hadn't rowel but little WAYS
on the windward side before be begun to
fret again. and declared that side went
harder than 'totheF, and he wouldn't touch
to row on that side any longer. We told
him he had his choice and be shouldn't
keep changing so. But he only fretted
the more and begnn to get mad At last
he declared if we didn't change with him in
five minutes, he'd cut the lashings and take
bis log and paddle off alone. And before
we had hardly time to turn round, he de-
clared the five minutes were out. and I'D
hatchet and cut the lashings. and awaT
went Bill on his own log. bobbing and roi-
ling about, and dancing Ike a monkey to
try to keep on the upper side The rest
Oh US scrabbled 10 as well as we could. and
fastened our logs together again, though
we had tuff match for it, the wind blew
so hard. Bill hadn't gone but little
ways before his log begun to roll more and
more, and by and by in he went splash,
head and ears. He came up putting and
blowing, and got hold of the log and tried
TO climb up on to it, but the more he tried
TIE more the log rolled; and finding it
would be gone goose with him pretty soon
II he stayed there, he begun to sing out
like loon for US to come and take him
We asked him which side he would row if
we would take his log into the raft again.
Oh, says Bill, I'll row on either side or
both sides If you want me to, if you'll
come and bell me before l sink.
But, said the President, I hope YOU
didn't help the foolish rascal out till he got
pretty good soaking. He got soaked
enough before We got him, says |, for he
was just ready to sink for the last time,
and eur logs came pesky near getting scat
tered, and if they had, we should all gone
to the bottom together. And now Giner-
al, this IS jest what | think If you let
South Carolina cut the laghings You'll see
such log rolling in this country as YOU
never see yet The old Gineral started up
and marched across the floor like a boy
Says he, Major Downing, she shan't cut
the lashings while my name is Andrew
Jackson. Tell Sargent Joel to have his
company sleep on their arms every night.
| told him they should be ready at nc
ment's warning.
| wish you would jest give cousin Ephri-
am up to Augusta jog to know why be
dom write to me and let me know how the
Legislature is getting along.
| remain your loving friend,
MAJOR JACK DOWNING.