Muscatine weekly journal. [volume] (Muscatine, Iowa) 185?-1890, 1860-02-03
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A GOOOf.
II self conceit is sure index of true
merit, the Starry correspondents. in last
saturdays Journal, has gsined his point
and we have a Homer amongst US. But
there is thing which spoiled him lie be-
came excited at once, and his gall working
in his stomach, unsettled that essentially
organ and untitled him for mental
labor. Thus he looked for eloquence FROM
Aristal chus who never made pretension Mt
eloquence, raved about s'tiowery style'
which Aristarchus abhors, when found out
of place, used all his force to break through
an open door and came very near sinking
into vulgarity when he so heavily TESTED on
the "howers without Perfume"
He began with such egregous b)unders
that evidently he makes US conclude he had
an i, digestion, unless his celestial origin
accustomed him to the inverted Chinese
ways. If his eye sight is not too much
dimined by his fall from the starry regions,
let him read over the remarks which SO
much excited his gastric juice" and he
will find out that the sentence The who de
fines well is almost God" is founder
neither Of the original nor of modern Aris-
tarcnus. And whilst he has spectaces on,
let him see that, instead OF looking on labor
as curse, Aristarchus boldly processes cit
is our life and glory" These errors must
be ascribed to the imperfect action of the
liver on the stomach which prevented the
right formation of the chylo and caused a
partial blindness. As to Esop's Fables, our
starry friend no doubt perused an edition
made purposely for the Ce'estials. Aris
tarchus has read E.op's Fables and more
than once, but he unfortunately never saw
in the great fabulist's collection the one
mentioned by by "*+" Formerly whilst
perusing Roman history, Aristarchus read
ab out consul Mercurius Agrippa, who, to
reconcile the plebeians to the patricians,
MEMBERS" Il this the one ascribed By the
ded to prove the solidarity of the different
demonstrate that seating is labor
he is perfectly right. No, certainly, starry
friend, neither you nor any lecturer is
bound to supply the public with brains, it
being commodity which you need more
than anybo y else and you have no surplus
to share with others la
Celestial has wrong idea of the original
Aristarchus who never attacked Homer but
admired him and made of his works his
lilcs study. Horace calls him good man,
u prudent man who would rather offend
than hat,er. Now, that we are aware Of q
new Homer being in our midst, modern
Aristarchus will transfer to him the admi-
ration of his namesake for the blind poet,
| whom seven cities ciuimed as their citizen,
and sorry for having stopped young Homer's
fight towards Immortality, he will retract
all lie has said Yes, seating is labor" and
the hardest kind yes, whoever enjoys the
| best appetite is the hardest laborer Yes,
English tyranny, British national debt and
American Independence are homogeneous
things and make a splendid tout ensemble
called labor. Who dars't to gainsay this
fact let him only say word aud Aristar-
chus will crush him down, not with the
American national motto in an inverted
sense, but with the English one as straight
as possible. The American motto inverted
would rend thus: &C uno plures, "many
besides one'-who think that eating is no
labor. Whoever will dare repeat this, let
him be disgraced md three times Kissed
with "honmi soft qui NAL q pe'ase," of the
English national motto.
The verses Of old Homer were sung In the
different cities OF Greece and music partly
made their fortune. To immortalize young
Homer's lucubrations, they ought to be set
to music by some skllful musical laborer.
| The belly and stomach ut tile base would
be executed on the paunch of The ventriio-
quist base fiddle. AS to the beautiful little
speech about "Southern MARKET" that would
| be solo with banjo accompaniment to be
tried by "**' himself. The whole compo
sition on the musical mode best adapted to
| it. Make it by all means Il flat piece. 1t
would surpass in sweetness Of harmony the
musical strains which Plato describes as
being performed by Celestial spheres in the
empyrean regions, when old blind Homer
would lay forgotten in oblivion, the junior on
would have Substantive existence" enjoy
never fading glory countersigned as he is
| ny .". ARIsTARCHUs.
10 the Readers Of the Journal:
You may remember that in my late
answer to San Engishman," l distinctly
stated that, if he saw fit to notice me again,
| should not reply to anything he might
| write, unless lie came out over his own
name. In yesterdays Journnl he attempts
to annihilate not only myself but Mr.. Ohm
stead, and yet he withheld his proper and
responsible sigma ure. If his object in so
doing is to prevent me from replying to
him, he has attained it; if it is not, then he
has only to give the public his name, in
connection with his last article in the Jour-
nal, and will pay him and his subject
such attention as I may judge they severaly
dasaryo n WonDuouSu