Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1860-03-31


Their growth has been forced. And what seems
to be government in the family often is misgov.
ernment Especially that government is mis-
government which never teaches the child Ia
take care of itself, but which is forever nutter-
ing over it to take care of it.
There are some practical considerations need.
ful to wise family government will mention
them, and then close.
You must begin at the beginning, as best you
may. Sometimes government is lax at first
but increases with the necessities of the grow
ing family. But oftener, | think, parents are
in the beginning full of wise resolutions OF
government, and the first boy or girl is tre-
mendously governed. But successively each
child is more and more wisely governed In
part this is owing to the fact that parents have to
begin as best they can. 1t is the strangest ar
rangement in the Divine economy that children
should be put into the hands of ignorant
parents to be reared. If they dropped through
the clouds from God it would not seem so
strange as that such parents are obliged to take
the trust of creatures whose Immortality de-
pends upon them so largely. Being without
the necessary knowledge, they have to feel
their way as best they can through blunders
and mistakes. And one trouble is that the
earlier children of a family have to take the
disadvantages Of Their parents ignorance. But
as parents have more and more experience
they grow wiser and wiser. And not only that,
but every child comes to recognize the parental
authority, and there is formed child public
sentiment which helps on the family govern
ment. So that in the later stages of the growth
of the household the parents may seem more
indulgent, because all the children help to gov
ern each.
We are cautioned, in the Word of God,
against provoking our children, in governing
them, especially to anger. aye fathers, provoke
not your children to wrath but bring them up
IN the nurture and adm onition of the Lord."-
SO far as possible make the obedience of the
child coincide with its pleasure. Harshness is
unwise with any living thing-man or animal.
Some, disregarding the chid's happiness, or
Judging the young mind as though its pleasures
were like those of manhood, carelesslv wound
its feelings and rouse its passions and then,
In the face of this juvenile storm, lay imperious
commands; and then coerce obedience. This
comes under the deeds forbidden in Gods
Word. Fathers provoke not your children
to anger, lest they be discouraged"
The child has its own little world, its own
little pleasures in that world, its little joys and
grets, its little mountains and wales, its little
storms and Gains. Our thoughts and pursuits
are as much above child's as angels are above
ours. 1t is the extreme of cruelty and folly to
measure child's duty by what seems good to
ourselves. We must exert our Imagination,
and watch, and translate their actions, and in a
measure do what Christ did by us-go down
and take their place, laying aside as it were,
the reality of our higher knowledge, and meet
ing them on their own ground, in order to lead
them successfully up to manhood.
One who thus understands the mind that he
deals with, can for the most part though not
always, lay his injunctions on the child in such
way as to secure a willing obedience from
him. But of all things that | can imagine,
none is more wicked than that which sometimes
takes place in the case of fretful and morose
parents, who 90 among their children. and, re-
gardless of their pursuits by inconsiderate deeds
or words, intuse their own pouting, sullen feel
ings into them; and then harshly command
them; and then brutally beat them. Under
such circumstances the child submits ostensi-
bly,, but not really. Within are alive the glow
ing Goals of wrath, and halfdisclosed revenge
And as the child grows up he grows passionate,
fierce, inwardly, under rebuke and as soon as
he Is out of sight of his parents, this ferceness
breaks out in torrent of oaths, and abuse.
There are periods of children's lives when we
are admonished by God, think, to employ cor
poreal chastisement. have no extreme theory
on this subject. That is the best way which
brings up our children best. Every person has
right to judge for himself in this matter
What that way it may require thoughts and
the experience of others it may be wise to re-
gard.
That the child is an animal as well as spirit
ual being, we must remember. The range of
motives which, in the early period of its ex-
lstence, can be brought to bear upon it, is very
cd Ife
circle. Its interests are few, and very simple
On the other hand, the power of passion and
will are in some respects tremendous. Where
it happens that the child sets itself to do wrong
under all the winds of anger, and passion, the
ordinary motives Of constraint snap like threads
You cannot reason with it, nor persuade it.
Only two courses seem to be before you A; one
is to yield yourself; the other is to bring in
animal pain to secure obedience on the part of
the child.
With some dispositions this resource of fami-
ly government need almost never he drawn up
on. There is as great variety of dispositions
as Of features. Some children are mild, easy
and tacile; and when the parent is cool, mild,
and of prudent Judgment can conceive of
instances where in the rearing of child, not
a single blow need be struck. Let it be noticed
that the admission here is not that child may
be well reared without being subdued, but that
child may be subdued without corporeal pain.
Petty punishments infuse deviltry into chill
dren. They are simply irrtations. If you ev-
er punish child, you should do it on the phil
osophical principle-that the punishment for
time, should take possession of every dispo-
sition. You punish child in order to coun-
terbalance a wrong state of mind, as well as to
make an impression on the imaginations and
the memory. And if it is worth while to pun
ish child at all, it is worth while to do it
heartily. Never resort-eXcept where you find
that kind of moral plaster is necessary to
promote inward Inflammation, or to draw it
off!-to those snappings, and pinchings, and
slappings, and degrading annoyances, which
are so detestable. But where there is raised
up against you little tyrannic will that must
be subdued, if by patient reasoning anq persua-
sion you cannot subdue it, there is a way by
which you can do it through the skin; and
when you do it, do it thoroughly, and be done
with it.
have no doubt that in all cases the necessi-
ty Of punishment arises as much from the i'm
perfection of the parents as from the fault of
the child. Were it not for the imperfection
of parents, they would move springs in the child
without his knowing it, which in many cases,
would prevent his coming to such pass as to
need Furnishing, But when a parent is igno-
rant, weak-minded, and unapt to teach, how