Mountain Democrat. [volume] (Placerville, El Dorado Co., Cal.) 1854-1860, 1860-02-04

trenton nave gone ana divorced us.
| 1t was too true; the parchment which he
held was bill Of divorce. in which the names
Of Smith and Smiths wife appeared in fright
fully egible letters.
Mrs. Smith wiped her eyes with the corner
of her apron.
Here's turnpike" she said, sadly. land
~ith the whole Of our ten children staring me
in the face, amt your wife. Here's turn
pike"
Blast the turnpike, and the Legislature,
and"
Well, the fact is that Smith, reduced to sin.
gle. blesSednesS, enacted into stranger to his
wife, swore awfnly. Although the night was
/ dark, and most of the dcnizrns If Smith town
had gone to bed, Smith bid his late wife nut
on her bonnet, and arm in arm they proceeded
to the clergyman Of the church.
"GOOness bless me-" exclaimed the GOOD
man as he saw them enter-Smth looking like
the last June shad; Smiths wife wiping her
eyes with the corner of her apron -" Good.
ness bless me, what's the matter 2"
=" The matter is, want you to marry us two
right off" replied Smith.
Marry you! :" calculated the minister, with
expanded fingers and awful eyes, "nrc YOU
crazy, or what is the matter with YOU.
However, he finally married them over in.
stanty, and would not take fee; the fact is
grave as he was, he was dying to be alone, that
he might give vent to a suppressed laugh that
was shaking him all over; and Smith and
Smith S wife went joyfully home and kissed
every one Of their children. The little Smiths
never knew that their father and mother had
ever been strangers by legislative enactment
Meanwhile, and on the same night Jones re.
turned to his native town-Burlington. I be.
lieve-and sought at once the fine black ewes
which he had hoped shortly TO call his own
The pretty widow sat on the sofa, white
handkerchief tied carelessly about her round
white throat, her black hair laid in silky waves
against each ROSY cheek
divorce is the word" cried Jones, play.
fully pattinG her double chin; 1.-THE fact is,
Eliza, I'm rid Of that woman, and YOU and III
be married tonight. know how to manage
those scoundrels at Trenton. A champagne
superior was it n breakfast did the bust.
ness for them. Put OH your bonnet and let us
60 to the preachers at once, dearest"
The widow, who was among widows MS are
peaches among apples, put on her bonnet and
took Jones's arm, and
Just look how handsome it is put on parch-
ment!" cried JONES' pulling ont the document
before her here's the law that Jacob Jones
and Ann Caroline Jones are two"
Putting her plump, gloved hand on his
shoulder, she did look at it.
30 dear!" she said, with her rosy lips, and
sunk back, half fainting on the sofa.
20 blazes" said Jones, and sank beside
her, rusting the fatal pnrchmentin his hand /;
"here's lot of happiness and champagne
gone to ruin"
1t was a hard case. Instead Of being di
vorced and at liberty to marry the widow,
Jacob Jones was simply, by the Legislature
of New Jersey, incorporated into a turnpike
company, and what made it worse, authorized
to run from Burlington to Bristol When You
reflect that Burlington is located Just n mile
from Bristol, and on the opposite side Of the
Delaware river Won will observe the extreme
hoprlcSsneSs Of Jones case.
I" It's all the fault Of the turnpike man who
gave them the champagne superior was it
the breakfast ?" cried Jones in agony. "If
they'd chartered me turnpike from Pigs
Run to Terrapin Hollow, might have bore it !;
hut the very idea Of building turnpike from
Burlington to Bristol bears an absurdity on
the face Of it," l-.
So it did.
And You amt divorced" said Eliza, a tear
running down each check.
"Eo!" Numbered Jones. crushing his hat
between his knees. land what is worse. the
Legislature is adjourned, and gone home drunk
and won't be back till next year,"
It was hard case.
y The mistake had occurred on the last day
Of the session, when legislators and TRANSCRIPT.
ing clerks were laboring under a champagne
breakfast Smiths name had been putyxhere
Jones' ought to have been, and "wisey wer-
sey, as the Latin poet hasit
COIxcrDENCEs.-Tna work called the Lives
of the Presidents" is a table, Ofthe periods in
which they were born, and went out of Office ::
John Adams, born 1875, retired in 1901
Thomas jefferson. born 1743, retired in 1909.
James Madison, born 1851, retired 1917
James Monroe, born 1859. retired 1926. John
Quincy Adams, born 1877, retired 1929.
Now, it will be seen by this that Jefferson
was born just eight years after his predeces-
sor Adams; Madison eight years after his
predecessor Jefferson; Monroe eight years af-
ter Madison, and John Quincy Adams eight
years after Monroe.
Another curious fact to be observed is that
Adsrna uas inst sixtv-six wears old when he