Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1860-05-18
6umorous.
JINE IN! JINE mi

ing lucubration:
Mormonism is still in practical opera
ton amongst us. A few days since,
tall, raw boned Saint, with complexion
very stongly resembling that of boiled
tripe, arrived here from Pittsburg with
couple of wives but deeming his Aocl
too small to start Salt Lakeward with
held forth as follows to an admiring au
dience, at house over the canal, with
view to the completeness of his domestic
felicity. His text was;
" Men is skeerce and weemen il
plenty"
:" Brethren and Sistern-perticklel
the Sistern II want to say few word
to you about MormoDism-not for M,
own sake, but for yourn, for men is slteerc,
and aoeemen IS plenty.
g Mormonism is built on that high OLE
principle, which ses that it amt good fol
man to be alone, and mighty sight worse
for woman. Therefore, if man feels
good with little company, good deal
of it ought to make him feel an awful
sight better.
Z" The first principle of Mormonism is,
that woman air good thing, and the
second principle is, that you can't have
too much of good thing. Woman is
tenderer than man, and is necessary to
smooth down the roughness of his char
acter, and as man has good many rough
pints in his natur', he oughtn't to give
one woman too much to do, but set each
one to work smoothing some partikler
pint.
Don't think I'm over anxious for vcu
to jine us, for | amt. I'm not speaking
for my good, but for yourn: for men Is
skeerce and aceemea is plenty
. ! said woman is tenderer than man.
but you needn't feel stuck up about it,
for so she ought to be she was made SO
apurpose. But how was she made SO =?
Where did she get it from Why, she
was created out of the side-bone of a man
and the side-bone of man is like the
slde-bone of q turkey-the tenderest
part of him. Therefore, as a woman has
three side bones, and man only one, Of
course she is three times as tender as q
man is, and is in duty bound to repay
that tenderness of which she robbed him
And how did she rob him of his side.
bone Why. exactly as she rohs his
pockets nowadays of loose change-sh,
took advantage of him when he wa,
asleep,
But as woman is more tender than
man, so is man more forgivener than wo.
man therefore, | won't say ANYTHING
about the side-bone or small change, but
invite you all to jine my, train, for I'm a
big sheperd ont our way, and fare stump.
tuously every day on purple and fine
linen.
" When | first landed on the shores Of
the Great Salt Lake, | wasn't rich il
weemen; l had but one poor old zoe, bu
men as sheerce and meemen is plenty, anc
like keerful sheperd began to increase
my flock Weemen heard Of us and on,
lovin ways, and they kept pourin in.
They come from the North, and they
come from the South, they come from the
East, and they come from the West.
they come from Ashley, and few of'em
from Afrikay, and from beiu' the misera.
bic owner of one old yoc become the
joyful sheperd of mighty flock, with .
right smart sprinklin of lambs, friskier
and fatter than anybody else's, and I've
still got room for few more.
g AS said before, I'm not talkin' per.
ticker for my benefit, but for yourn-fo,
men is skeerce and weemen is plenty
Still, I'd leetle rather you'd 60 along
with me than not, pertickler you fat one
with the caliker sun bonnet Don't hes.
Hate, but take the chance while you gil
it, and I'll make you the bell yoe of the
flock I'll lead you through green pas
lures and the high grass show you where
you may caper in the sunshine, and Law
down in pleasant places; and, as you are
in pretty good condition already, in
course of time you shall be the latest of
the flock, Jine in; jine in jine my train !;
jine it now, for men is skeercc and wee
men is plenty"
The appeal was irresistible. At the
last account the fat woman with the
caliker sun bonnet" had lined in" and
two or three others were on the fence
with decided leaning toward the Keer.
full Sheperd"