The Ashland union. [volume] (Ashland, Ashland County, Ohio) 1854-1868, 1860-06-27
AN ADVENTURE IN THE CARS.

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There were five of us-yes, five of as hap
lpy fellows as were ever let loose from college
It was vacation, and we concluded to take
and were soon travelling rapidly toward oul
We had just seated ourselves and prepared
for a comfortable smoke, when in came the
conductor, and who should it be but our old
friend B. After the common salutations
t"How are you, old fellow" etc., ETC., had pass
ed, Fred remarked he had some business fol
US to attend to.
"Out with it old chum," said we; "anything
at all will be acceptable, SO let us have it"
"Well, boys" said Fred, in a very confden-
tial tone, Gin the next car there is as loving a
pair as was my lot ever to see. They are GO
ing down to A. to get married, and now if you
can have any fun over it, just pitch in. They
must be cared for and 1 don't know who can
do it better than YOU"
In a moment Fred was gone, and we set our
heads together to form a plan for ''taking care
of the lovers"
"I have it, boys said Bill Sewers; eve
must make that girl think that her lover is
married."
"That's it, Bill Seevers-that's it." said we,
not giving him time to finish the sentence.
"That he is a married man and the father
of children" said Bill.
"That's the game, boys, now let US play it.
It devolved on me to Commence operations.
Accordingly. L entered the car in which we
were informed the lovers were. The girl
thinking suppose, that she must give heI
Mover all the seat, had taken a seat on his knee;
and he for the purpose of protecting her, oil
course, had thrown his arm around her waist
and SO they sat, in real, soft loving style.
All this I gather at a glance. Stepping uI
to them, 1 said:
"Why, Jones, what in the deuce are you
doing with this girl?"
The girl arose hastily, and seated herself on
the seat.
"See here, stranger" said the fellow, "you
are a mite mistaken; my name amt Jones'"
"Why, Jone," saidI, fyou certainly have
not left your wife and children, and tried tc
palm yourself off for a single man, have your
"I tell you my name AIM Jones; it's Harper
It never was Jones; faint goin' to be-"
I merely shook my head, and passed on tc
another seat, to see the rest of the fun. The
girl looked "wild" after I sat down; but Jones
alias Harper soon convinced her that I wal
mistaken.
About the time they got to feeling quite
well again in came Ell Gregg. Walking up tt
Harper, he accosted him with
"Why, Jones, you here How did you
leave your wife and babies p"
"Now, see here, stranger, you amt the frs
man that's called me Jones to-day, an 1 mus
look awfully- like him but I amt Jones.
hain't got a wife, nor babies either, but thi
ere gal an me is a gon' to splice, and ther
you can talk about my wife, and l wouldn'
wonder but what in the course of time you
might talk about the babies too; but you
mustn't call me Jones'"
This retort brought forth voeiferous laugh
ter from the spectators, and it also brough
bushes to the face of "the gal that was goin
to be spliccd."
."Ah, JONES'" said Gregg, "you will regre
this in the future. 1 really pity your poo
wife. and children, and this poor girl"
is it? an you haze been foolin' me, have you
Well, we amt spliced yet, and 1 don't thinl
we will he-Eer4 soon said the girl, and he.
eyes fairly flashed with fire.
"Jane, Jane" said Harper, "don't you know
I'm Bill Harper? Thar amt a darn drop o
Jones blood in me, and I'll prove it"
AT this moment jeff jackson, Bill Sewers
and Jim Byers entered, and of course their at
tention was called to Harper by his loud talk
ing. They stepped up to him and said:
"Why, Jones, what is all this about?
This was more than Harper could stand
He leaped upon a seat.
"Now," said he" my name amt Jones, anc
I can lick any Teller that says it is"
By this time we had got to A., ane
Fred came into the car and made Bill HarpeI
keep quiet. The girl that wouldn't b
eespliced" requested Fred to help her on thu
train that was going back to N which h
did, and the notorious Jones alias Harper fol
lowed. We heard afterwards that he proved
himself to be Bill Harper instead of BillJones
and he and his gal got Spilled"