Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1860-09-13
Misttllantous.
THE HUMOROUS ASPECTS OF
CIVILIZATION.
By KNIGHT nus. oonslDr. a. n. b.
GOING TO LAW.

uhu Uceu tiuCtntu WHift was yctf IONeiyt
near sighted infant. II ever had my doubts
on this point, certainly was convinced that
my experience in Tsmmsny Hall, when the
political enthusiasm OF yout sc cured for me
sundry bloody noses, sweliee lips, barked
knuckles aid unjointed digts made me ON
'niscient in the sinister devices Of the obdu.
rate race Of bipeds which inhsbit the earth.
But sp now sstis6ed that this necessary
era inimy physical development was not
resched until untoward circumstances p 'aced
me in the law courts as htigant striving
10 obtain my rights.
A few months since, friend who was
bard up,Q know he was a friend from tina,
fsc') wanted to elevate the zephyrs, and he
came TO me 10 know if he could deoend upon
me tosaseist him 10 that atmos spheric fexpe-
riment.iHe had deed of some lands 10 the
West, shich,he saidh had cost him two hun.
'dred dol ars, but as urgent Business required
his presence in the country, he would let
me have it or-seyenty- five dolls,s AT that
moment, I hadn't. any spperfuous cash, and
what money did have, I wanted to donate
to the 'Soeiey fof ame kora.ipgahe sanitary
condition of rtiermaids''-which had for its
special object the providing of mermaiGs
each with pair Of india rubber boots, as a
means of preventing them from taking cold
in their hesds. My soul was wroppedup in
this scheme,of explosive benesolences and
hence my indisposition to dabble in real
estate. Thinking to bluff the { llowi offer
ed,twenty-f dollars for his deed, which TO
my utter astonishment he accepted at once.
As never back out, /, paid the money tand
took The deed, ietvingahe mermaidsto lake
the chances of keeping healthy VI der water,
cure treatment. Then week | occupied
without success in trying TO sell out my Pur-.
chase with the view Of making q specula.
tion. J had just ,tnsdelup by mind that had
been sold as well as the and, when hap.
pened to meet amsn who's was willing to
negotiate After two hours Of eioque Mt OK
pstiatiou on the fertility Of the soil, the ex-
cellence oi it's location and grandeur Of the
surrounding scenery. effected sale, and
received from the individual his note for
Two hundred and fifty dollars, indor-ed by a
party represented to me In Wal! street to
be US good as the wheat.
I As the day OF the notes maturity ap-
proached, Mrs. ,Ockside made out pro
gramme of what she was going to do with
the money One item was a staving party
In an,ic ipation of which she had already
got the card plate engraved, had ordered
music and had made other arrangements
thot the Ocksidian soiree might be churac.
,erzed by all the fashionable sbsurdiries
that our means would admit OF. When the
day OF maturity arrived, went to the bank
and asked the eller for the money, princ!pa
and interest. He evinced no astoDishmen nj
in discovering that the note was not paid,
whereas, couldn't hive been more sur
prised ifan angel had hit me with brickbat
But confidently expected that the three
days grace would not expire without seeing
, Ockside flush Of funds. was disappointed
. The note was not paid. My faith in th'
integrity of humanity sustained an earth
quake shock The indorser, discovered
had gone TO Utah, aud Furthermore, that al
the property he had ever owned was situated
= "over the lett" which locality was unabl'
o to find in the books of the Regis er OF Rea
Estate. began to entertain vague sus
picion that was a BETRAYED individual.--
After much labor found the drawer of tn
j. note, and The fact that discovered him play
J. ing dominoes at a sixpence a game IN
wbiskey chop, didn't inspire me with in
creased confidence as to the character of hi
paper. represented to him that he ha
70 failed TO pay the note; strange US it ma
,v seem he wasn't astonished at the announce
ment OF his own direlectness, though h
acknow lsdged the depth of his sorrow owe
his pecunisry shortcomings and he professe
a willingness TO compromise. Aattere
8. mysel II that I was now 10 he afforded a
On opportunity to show my msgnanimity as
: creditor, and TO prove myself an example {
+ Christian self.denial worthy Of smulat ion b
hard-fsied and exacting capitalists. pal
81 ., iently awaited his proposition. which can
Ike out al last. He promised by stating th
N after purchasing the deed from me-, he hi
: taken II to loan ,ffice and had used IL
= collatersl In negotiating loan Of ten do
lars for six months at six per cent. mont
:. and he proposed thatI give him up his no
ids tor two hundred and fifty, and five 'dolla
:" cash. in consideration of which he won
= transfer to me his loan office transaction
which could obtain the deed by paying Z
amount due on it,! ! am aware thatwickt
ted passionate and sinful men, after receivi
@ @ee'. such proposition, would have mauled tn
8 fellow in such n why that he would hn
lei, beer Of no possible use to anybody but !
sexton and undertpkar. But didn't :
- with that crowd. The bigh-minded liberal
x which msnifested towards him on u
occasion, exslts itself to positively eh
'' alrods sublimity. | only allowed myself
=. knock bis nose fat with bis face, and !
chg two eyes into one, and to choke him pr
sds. his face looked like a red cabbage ge-that v
.ay, all--posi,ively. all l did. As ] rushed fr
- this scene Of justice, overcome BY generos
I met a lawyer--(a friend, also, as sub
L quent facts. proved } and told him the fs
Of the Transaction, In less than five minu
hs:convinced me that not eply personal
\, gard for my own rights, but duty 10 soci'
q demanded thst I sue the party who had
~ grossly bslisd the commercial integrity