Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1860-09-15
$50 \ YEAR
Fact, Fancy and Fun.

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In marriage the majority go 8 miss.
The Spectators Punishment
The Stocks
Vice IS sufficient of itself TO make
q man thoroughly unhappy.
The lady who took ereryboay's
eye mus; have !. lot of them.
The ocesn, which is forever sound
lng, sometimes gets sounded
"A man cannot rarel out she stitch
es which early days have knit them.
--Many Institutions are called Seh.i-
narles, Tor they do not half teach any
thing.
A drunken man in irving TO walk
by lamp post last night, made de-
cided hit.
Hans, what is the matter 2"
''De sorrel wagon has run away nit
der hoss."
-"BuSiness is the salt of life" Very
likely. But who wants salt for per
petual diet.
What motive 90 the cars have for
running 50 constantly from city t. city.
y Loco motive.
1t is only one hundred and sixty-
seven years since witches were huiir
in New England.
--Mad5er co:ors red. This j. the
reason Why the lnadder YOU get the
reddcr you grow.
The imagination is thc roof.win-
dow OF the soul, the senses are tho
basement windows.
Perfect virtue is to do, unwienessetf.
what we should be capable of doing
before the Whole world.
- Prentice thinks the ladies' treat
their waists rs vulgar tractions-to be
reduced to the lowest terms.
Everything of great goodness,
sho'd DC used sparingly; else shall it be-
stralghtway lesscned in value.
To select nutmegs, prick them
with q pin. IF they are good, the oil
will Instantly spread around the punc~
ture.
An hours industry will 90 more to
beget cheerfulnoss, suppress evil hu-
nlors, and retrieve your af;;sirs, thar
months moaning.
"A gentleman sai1 TO his friend tie
otaer day, How do YOU like the min
i~ter? p First rate Ae never mea dies
with politics or religion"
-lIabit is at first like q SPIDERS web:
if neglected, it becomes /. thread q
twlne; next cora rope; and fnat-
ly, cabc--thcn who can break it:
Sam" said Wal, "wby is the sun
ike Sayers 90
''Dunno." answered Sam.
"'Coz 1t goes dowI, every round"
An old Grecian philosopher advis-
ed al men to know themselves. That
is certainly advising a good many To-
form low and disroputab.e acon2intaa-
ces.
-Slnce his nomination, Lincoln has
received an average Of peck Of letters
day. lie glances over them, bat Of
course cannot answer the lundredth
part.
Old Maids: A class of .cns;b;g
women, Who refuse to accept bus
band until they find some one tlcv can
love and eateem- which, Of course,
they rarely ever do.
"A Scotchnlau asked an Irishlnan;
Why were hali',t;.rtlIinGs coined in Eng
land? The answer was: To give
Scotchmen al opportunity to subscribe
to charitable associations.
Getting on in life is like CLIMBING
tree-a good boost is Of great heIn,
but not absolutely necessary and the
higher YOU climb the safer the foothold
and the more numerous the branches
Oh which 10 rest.
A young fellow having been charg.
ed with getting drunk the night before.
and wishing TO justify himself. declared
that he was never drunk, nor never
meant to be, for 1t always made hin
feel SO bad the next morning.
Tommy, my son, wha. are vou
doing there with your feet dangling in
the water?"
''Tr.'ing to catch cold, ma, 81, that I
may have SOME Of those cough ,ozen-
gers You gave me Yesterday
Tile little son OK 4 friend OF ours.
clergyman, was forlnd playing one
Sabbath morning. "Why, nay child"
said his mamma, ''did you not know il
was Sunday?"
eyes mamra-bu: I was pIav;n, i