Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1860-01-12
aDit mn a5nmnr.

DIpN'T GAZE AZ WAsHfNGTos CiFY.-Dr.
Brownlow, in the last isslle of the Knoxville
Wing, thus explains lis flight through the
Federal metropolis:
Since our return horne from the North, We
have been frequently enquirei of as TO why
we did not call at Washington and witness
the organization of the House? We have
given the same answer in every instance
We had in our pocket twenty dollars ip Blon-
cy, a through ticket to Lynchha.g, six gootc
shirts in n small carpet sack, and n new over
cont-worth at least twenty dollars, and thhs
was more than we were willing to risk in that
len-ol- thieves Stealing has become epidem-
c in Washington and no man wodH hc. safe
there with ts much in his possession /
LuDIcURoUs INcIDENT.-During the per-
furmancc of Richard I'll at the National The
atrc, Cincinnati on Friday evening, the IA
nous couch scene was rendered aughable by
tho following incident. While the "hump
backed tyrant' (Mr. j. b. Robcrtsl was en-
dcavoring to enjoy sleep which, like Mac
beth, he had murdered" he suddenly start.
cd, as the spectre of Henry VI marched by,
and exclaimed, half audibiy WHATS that
why" answered II voice from the gallery,
OTIS old Osawatomic Browns ghost" 1t is
needless to add the house "camc down"
4 school-master, who had an intolerable
habit of talking to himself when along, was
asked by a ncighbor what motive he could
have in talking to himself? Jonathan rcpl-,
cd that he had two good and substantial rea-
sons:
In the first place, he liked to talk to a sen
sible man; and in the next place lie liked t".
hear q sensible man talk.
An Irislman and q Frenchman were to be
! hanged together. The latter was stangly ai-
fected by his situation while Paddy took it
very easy, and told his companion to keep
| his spirits, for it was nothing at all to be hang
| ed. "Ah, begard saysthc Frcnchman, ''thcre
be Won grand difference between you and me,
| for you lrishmens are used toi =
"You are always committing some stupid
blundcr" said mn irritable wife to her hus-
band Il admit" replied the unhappy Ben
clicl, chat | coipmitted one--and a most
! egrcgious one, soo--b4t that was several years
ago, and had thought it the last of any i'm
| portancc." Madame "wondercd what he
meant" of course she did; but he made no
explanation.
At railway station an old lady said to a
very pous-looklns gentleman, who was
| talking about steam communications: "Pray,
sir, what is stcam?" "Steam, ma am, is, ah,
steam is, ah-al! steam is-steam!" Il
knew that chap couldn't tell ye," said n
roush-looking fellow standing by; "but steam
is bucket Of water in II tremendous pcrspir-
ation."
An anccdotc relative to the late Professor
Wilson is just now circulating. When til.
suitor for the hand of Prof. Wilson's daught-
er had gained the lady's appreciation, ho
was, of course, referred to papa. Having
stated his, probably, not unexpected case, the
young gentleman was directed to desire the
lady to come to her fathcr-anl doubtless
; her obedience was prompt. Professor Wilson
had before him, for review, some work, on
the ny-leaf of which was duly inscribed;
"With the authors compliments" fic toro
this out, pinned it to his daughters dress, So
lemnly led her to the young lover, and went
back to his work.
"A place for everything, and everything in
its place" rs the old lady said when she be-
slowed the broom, bellows, balls ofyarn. two
babies currycomb, three cats and grid-iron,
into All old oven.
Bs3""Never put of till Tomorrow what
you can do to-day" said mother to child
We'll, mamma, let us eat the cranberry pic
that is in the safe.