The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1860-03-01
VA RTETY.

In all supersttons wise men follow fools.
The man who makes his home where nothing Is tC
be may at least claim to be dsinterestei-or hC
can have ristr IA n.
The vain man idoIizcs his own person. and here he
is wrong; but he cannot bear his own company, and
here he j. right.
The wives along the Mississippi never BIolr ~, their
husbands They leave It all TO the steamboats,, which
sure 20 DO IL sooner or later.
The rhymirg % silly boys and girls, and the whist
ling Of the wind through hollow tree, equally
signal instances Of music caused by emptiness.
Some give little light in the world as a tai
low hrthing candle, and when they expire, leave as
bad an OdOr behind them
To make vs. happy require not much less than
everything; TO make miserable not much more
than nothing viii suffice.
The minds vegetative power cannot be idle. II it
is not laid and planted in flowers, il will shoot up
in nOXiOus weeds
Never tell your wife you married her because you
pitied her lonely condition.
Never go to bel at ten, leaving your wife up till
two with sick baby, aud look pitchforks At her at
the breakfast table because that meI IS hour too
late
Never hear ungracious structures upon the conduct
Of woman, with quiet smile, instead of saying, in
unmistakelbe tones, - IL is false, SIR
Never insult the modest by ribIldry, the grave by
levty, the pioas by contempt Of sacred things.
Never be guilty Of any..oGense against decency
propriety.
pocket. Ifyou DO, says Punch, you take wiper to
your bosom.
Why is the heart Of n lieutenants widow like
deserted house: Give it up; Because it is left
tenantless-
'.Mr. Speaker said member of the Jamaica
Legislature, discussing bill for the regulation Of the
luEIbcr tTIlle-''I know these timber merchants 10
be most ezregious rlscals-I in the timber line
myself twelve years
\ story told Of Irish hoster, who was sent to
81. ~. -.
knowing which Of the strange horses in the stalls
belonged to the traveller, and wishing avoid the
appearance OF ignorance IN his business, he sadd ed
botn animals AMI brought them TO the door. The
Traveller pointed his horse, saying: That's
my nag - Certainly, your honor, | know that
very well; bat l didn't know which was the other
gentleman -
PREVENTION BETTER IHAx CURE-If / were in
clined TO quit the ARMY believe the branch of my
profession which should take up would be that of
sanitary retcTmJEe study Of health rather than Of
disease, Of prevention rather than cure. Ii often
seems 10 that Of the healing art have be-un at
the wrong ent-thIt the energy devote 20 the al
deviation irTemedilb able diseases would be better
spent in TIE study and practice Of to preserve
health.--f LIE JOr Life.
BRIDGET Oy - TEMPER K,NCE- Bridget was sick, !
and good Jenny thought little whisky punch rHe
best physc she csuli burden her delicate stomach
Win; snys he
=. BiIdy avourueen, 10 swallow a drop Of punch. |
II you bothered with bile it'll take the
eOnsait Of thin and make you stand straight on
your purity fees ike respectable creature Us
you are 80
'.Och, Jenny sure you know have the Iielge, |
and wouldn't for the world break il, avic-''
- Now, acushlai let me run over 10 Mrs MulOv- 4
ney's and get the materials to make fine timptiu'
bowl Ofit.'
- Sure you know I'd go through FIRE and water to \
DO your biddin. Jenny, but look the disgrace it
would be smash the pledge | won't take it, Jem-
ny. 80 I won't 80
- Arrah. woman, don't be palaverin' me wd your
waSeness; its betther for We pills and the
physic, don't cost quarter much; besides,
II stay on your stomach like new milk, twice as
strengtnenIn' u that Come, will gO3'
No, not a tut I won't be disobadent to the
promise made for all yer fine rasOnin'. But, Jem-
my, ye may 90 and get Few bits Of white sugar, and
a lEon-aud while yer there. ye bring the
cruiskeen wii ye and all il wild whisky, and when We
come back ye may put the tay-kettle and boil
draP Of water, and ye may well put in the limOu
and the whisky-and make good bowl Of punch.
aud then come and make take II, JENNY