The weekly Mississippian. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1859-1864, 1860-04-18
Charles Dickens On Getting 0 Hesty
Dinner at Railroad Hotel.

The following is from the last OF the I'm
commercial Traveller papers OF Charles
Dickens :
You are going off by railway, from any Ter
minus. You have twenty minutes for dinner
before you 60. You want your dinner, ana
like DR.. johnson, Sir, you like to dine. lou
present to your mind picture Of the refresh
ment table at that terminus. The convention
al shabby evening hearty supper-accepted
as the model for all termini and all refresh
ment stations, because it is the last repast
known to this state of existence OF when any
human creature would partake but IN the Oh
rect NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. your contemplation
and your words are these 81 can not ame on
stale sponge-cakes that turn to sand IN the
mouth | can not dine on SHINING brown
patties, composed Of unknown animals with
in, and offering to my view the device OF IN
digestible star fish in leaden pie crust without
can not dine on a sandwich that has long
been pining under an exhausted receiver. l
can not dine on barley sugar. can not dine
on Toffee" You repair to the nearest hotel,
and arrive, aggitated. in the coHee-room.
It is a most astonishing fact that the waiter
is yery cold to you. Account for 1t how you
NAV. smooth it over how you will, you can not
DENY that he is cold to you. He not glad to
see YOU. he does not want you, he would much
rather YOU hadn't come He opposes to your
| flushed condition an immovable composure.-
As If this were not enough another waiter,
horn. as it would seem, expressly to look at
| YOU in this passage of your life, stands at a
little distance, with his napkin under his arm
and his hands folded, looking at you with all
his might You impress on your waiter that
you have ten minutes for dinner, and he pro-
poses YOU shall begin with bit of fish which
will be ready in twenty. That proposal de-
clned, he Suggests-as neat originality-'a
veal or common outlet You close with
| either outlet, any outlet, any thing. He goes
| lesurely, behind door and calls down some
unseen shaft A ventriloquial dialogue en-
sues, tending finally to the effect that wea
only is available on the spur Of the moment
You anxiously call out, "Veal then h' You
walters, having settled that point returns t
array your table cloth with table napkin
folded cocked-hat wise Slowly, for something
out of window engages his eye1, white wine
glass, green wine glass, a blue finger glass
a tumbler, and powerful battery Of fourteen
| castors with nothing in them or at all event!
which is enough for your purposes-witl
nothing in them that will come out. All thi
| time the other waiter looks at you with al
air of mental comparison and curiosity, now
as if it had occurred to him that you are lik'
his brother. Half your time gone, and moth
ing come but the jug of ale and the bread, you
| implore your waiter to "see after that outlet
waiter pray do ~ He can not 60 at once, 70
he is carrying in seventeen pounds Of Amer
can cheese for you to finish with, and SINAI
Landed Estate fcelery and water cress. Tn
other waiter changes his leg, and takes new
view of you-doubtfully, now, as if he ha'
rejected the resemblance to his brother, an
had tegun to think you more like his aunt o
his grandmother Again you beseech you
waiter with pathetic indignation, to see aite
that outlet He steps out to see after il
and by and by when you are going away with
out it comes with it. Even then he will nc
take the sham silver cover off without paus
for flourish, and look at the musty cutie
as if he were surprised to see (which can
not possibly be the case he must have seen
so often before. A sort Of fur has been pre-
duced upon its surface by the cooks art, ant
n sham-silver vessel, staggering on two fee
instead of three is cutaneous kind of sauc'
ofbrown pimples and picked cucumber. Yo
order the bill, but your waiter can not brin
YOUR Dill vet DeCduSe 1c ID UIIllSiIlS, lIlolcdt
three fiinty- hearted potatoes and two grin
head of broccoli, like the occasional ornament
on area ratings, badly broiled. You kno'
that you will never come to this pas
any more than to the cheese and celery, an
you imperatively demand your bill; but
takes time to get, even when gone for, bt
cause your waiter has to communicate with
lady who lives behind sash-window in
corner, and who appears to have to refer to se'
eral Ledgers before she can make it out-as
you had been staying there year. You b
come distracted to get away, and the otht
waiter, tnce more changing his leg, still looE
at you-but suspiciously, now, as if you ha
begun to remind him Of the party who too
the great coats last winter. Your bill at la!
brought and paid, at the rate of sixpence
mouthful your waiter reminds you that "a
tendance is not charged for a single meal
and you have to search IN all your pockets f
sixpence more. He has worse opinion
you than ever when you have given it to hir
and lets you out in the street with the air
one saying to himself, as you can net dou
f he is, Il hope we shall never see you again