The independent press. (Abbeville C.H., S.C.) 1853-1860, 1860-02-10
EXCERPTS.

EXCERPTS.
II hope havnt hurt your feelings" rs
the raisinseed said TO the hollow tooth.
When your hair gets into disorder, villa,
heathen deity should it name ?-Comus.
Why is an Englshman like nineteen
'shillingl Because hc is under sovereign.
Do all the good you can in the world,
and make as little noise about it as possible.
So long as men are imprudeRt liz their
diet aud their business, doctors and law
yers will ride in carriages.
Screen, bat dangerous as the asparagus
said'to tile copper kettle in which it was
boiled. s.
A man who had been married twice to
ladies both named Catherine, advised his
Hriends against taking duplicates.
"Dont you mean to marry, my dear sir :"
"No, my dear widow, IA rather lose all the
1lbs I've got than take another"
An lrishman once observed that mile
stones were kind enough TO answer your
questons1without giving you tie trouble to
ask them.
'Twave hundred pounds for mare
can't be-" quoth Bagslock. "Oh, that's
nothing says Cyfax, "Richard offered his
kingdom for horse, and no takers"
Mirabeau thus wrote to Young lady
who had fallen in love with his genius and
wished to know how lie looked -"Fancy his
satanic. majesty, after having had the small
pox---and such am l."
AWho's safraid 2" said young man to
himself in order to screw his courage to
the sticking place. "Why, you are," said
the object Of his affection, "or you would
have taken courage six mon,hsago.'
'Why, did YOU leave your last place %
inquired young housekeeper about to
engage a new servant why, you see,
replied the applicant, 81 was too good
looking; and when I opened the door,
folks took me for the mssus.'
BE PUNcTuAL.-Wben Washincton's
secretary excused himself for the iateness Of
his sattendenanco, and laid the blame upon
his watch, his master quietly said, Then
you must get another watch, or l another
secretary.'-,Snailes Self Help.
DR.. Cuerie, (hot by name and hot hy
na1ure) swhan asked by particularly in
qu'sitire ~oriah to tell her the precise
meaning oftthe word idea" about which
she had'becu reading in Come metaphysical
work, bit could not understand, it, at las,
anguiy exclaimed, eden, madam, is tho
feminine of idiot, and means she fool.n
Aoss1srEscT.-A father never gains the
affection Of bis children by refusing to de
eide their disputes, or settle them; but lie
losses aasvast deal of their respect If he
evades or shuns the subject And those
opinions expressed before the younger mem
bers a.. the family should be held consist
emily. 1t will not do state one thing in
theory, and allow your children to see you
reverse 1t in practice daily aud hourly By
such a'method one thiug'sfss ensurcd-con.
contempt; snL contempt is alike fatal 10
love, respect, or imitation.
A ThiserIy fellowin Brussels gave a large
dinner recepay.szaas the guests sat down,
piefeing Shrek Was heard ia the court.
yard. Me host hurried out, and returned
pale affTighted, and his hands covered with
blood. 'What is it was the INQUIRY II
Alas r lie said, "a poor workman, father Of
alrge famiisshss met With terrible acci-
.sdents1 Her Bas skuoeked down ibsse cart
and previously. hurt. Let US aid him. A
coilectiofsgas made, and the guests con-
trimted gome few hundred francs. Poor
duPesls II was the misers ruse to make
them lsy for their dinner.
.AyE-Ab. there Is. tousi,;pe beauty
iuahs sadls6t up,look Of a al s1st crossing
ths lmi!s, ,a yopsbespd an, Commencing n..l4 her
journey through the cbeekeasd spbeerea Of
vomanhoodI It is all dew.sparkNy ybd NOR.
ming gIetysto het ardent abuoysnt. spirit, as
she pisases forward Nexuitins in blissfu
.nticipstipns.a But tho Siihtripg heat of
tho eehhst os,itS orsepson; the dswsdrops
exbals sssa6dssSf hnpe, shattered
asd path: and too often, ere
noontds, ,sAs'DlssF browfspd sweet smile
are skdasos the weary looAsof one
longing for the exening rest, the twilight
Tie Ssghtf Oh; mayzshs good God give !
hh slsap sarlx nptotfffas6 Aahr ~.