The Iowa transcript. (Toledo, Tama County, Iowa) 1858-1866, 1860-07-05

DuG We OI lulS ScuCtHtaN" 'e'S
guilty Of the meanest ido.atry Of all IN
worshipping little lump Of corrupt flesh
and blood, called Stephen, now defunct.
4 few weeks ago, when We ladened our
vessels with rum and whisky for our
brethren, who were sent as missionaries
to the port Of Charleston, in the foreign
land Of South Carolina: to preach tho
gospel Of bred Scott and Popular Sow
creiynty and gave them gold and silver
whercwith to buy their bread and meat,
our departed friend was full Of promise,
and igh uplifted as the god Of Democ..
racy. and all who would fall down and
worship him should have their reward.
But, alas our brethren have returned
to US with nothing but his unseemly car
cass. "Aad derout men carried Stephe"
to It's burial, and made great lamcntdtion
orer him
And it came to pass when our chief
priests and elders were gathered toseth'
er in convention at Charleston, that
many Of the heathens Of that region
would not fall down and worship our
golden calf. And we said unto them
that they were wrong; that the golden
calf would grant them many indulgen'
cies; he would give them Bourbon rh's-
ky, apple jack aud red eye as beverages,
and had promised nine hundred and
ninety nine thousand Of foreign mis-.
sions, post Offices and custom houses, and
to take five hundred old fogics into his
cabinet. But this would not avail. Nary
a bowel Of compassion could be moved
within them, and therefore our brethren
returned unto US" Aad derou men
carried Stephen to his burial, and made
great ldne1,tation orer hin.
And the disciples Of Stephen spake
unto them saying, that they did not care
whether niggcrs were voted upside down
or downsile up, it made no difference
But they were rebcllious, and declared
that We must get the niger out Of tho
fence and protect him in the territories
where there are no fences; but We couldn't
do it. We referred them to Freeport
where Stephen spake of = unfriendiy
legislation but they dian't care red
for Police Magistrate Of the territories,
but would pasture their niggcrs there on
Uncle Sans farm. They wouldn't let
US put fence Of unfriendly legislation
around them; and because we wouldn't
give the niggers pasture, they waxed
wroth, and Stephen gave up the shos'.
:" -dna aeroM men carried Stephen to has
buria1, cn! made great lumeutatton orer
KIM
In vain our brethren promised to erect
false bottomed platform to delude tho
heathen with tricks Of legerdemain. But
they needed not our cntreaties. Oh, the
g irrepressible conflict! = It squeezed
our poor little Stephen so hard, that gout
nor influenza need trouble him no more.
They cast rocks upon him. The lions
roared at him. The eagle "quivered his
tail at him in proud defiance 7 Old Buck
shook his horn at him. The nigger
shook his wool and laughed at him, be.
cause the !" Rail mauler' received more
votes from tie Suckers than he did
And ore hundred and fifty two anda q
half brethren stood BY ard saw him
crushed out, and bewailed their empty
pockets, and the loss Of the good things
promised them. "And dcuous men car
ried Stephen to his burial, and made great
an,ent1tion ocer h;n,.
And now, in conclusion, my dear Douglas
brethren, know it is hard for US to believe
that Stephen is snufed out. We cannot real
ize it. But it is even so. We shall never be-
hold his coat tail dragging on the ground any
more. Its beautiful folds have been wrapped
around his wounded seat of honor, and he has
been lain at rest. The "irrepressiblc conflict
has dealt him smasher on the gob and his
voice will no longer charm US with the beau
tiful song Of Popular Sovereignty. Therefore
cease your hlubbering for Stephen. There is
yet hope Of salvation for u.s. There is plank
still left for us poor shipwrecked sinners to
cling to. Our brethren North and South al
ready stand upon it. Though the heathen have
denounced it as relic Of barbarism, yet our
elders in the great council of the nation say
is a good one. We will all 60 to that land OF
blessed saints in Utah, where it is fenced in,
and shout for old Mrs. Poly Gamy. There re-
posing on her bosom, we will bury oil our sor.
rows for the Immaculate Stephen, who was sc
shamefully martyred at Charleston. Lot him
rot in peace.
Farewell, then, to poor old Stephen,
The famous Charleston martyr;
For he lied 80, we couldn't believe him,
And we won't 60 tumbling 0rter.
Thus, you see, have quoted the Dutch poet
and We will close with the words Of the te1t
Ind dspout men carried Stephen to his bIridl an