The Hancock Jeffersonian. [volume] (Findlay, Ohio) 1857-1870, 1860-08-17
Short Sermon 10 sDour,.- so--|~'
90 wBANG DOODLE.

tN@ssSt W.T. q
My DEAR DOUGLAS BRETHREN:
intend to talk to you at this tin
!, about the folly and sinfulness
" worshiping man. The heather bo
down to images Of wood and ston,
re re- and some worship unclesn heart
id while others bow in humble adori
o. tion even to kiss q great toe. B,
~ =, we of this generation have bee
I guilty Of the meanest idolatry of a
I. in worshiping a little lump Of fies
q and blood, called Stephen, now de
~ n iunct. A few weeks ago when W
n laded our vessels with run and wins
! key for our brethren, who were sen
= = as Missionaries to the port OF Charles
: ton, in the foreign land OF Soutl
d Carolina, to preach the gospel @
. Dred Scott and popular sovereignty
e and gave them gold and silver whsro
J, Win to Dny their bread aud meat
Q our departed friend was full OF pro
4 mise, and high uplifted as the Goo
, OF Democracy, and all who should
fall down and worship him shoul,1
! have their reward. But, alas! oui
! brethren have returned as with moth.
ing but his unseemly carcass "And
: devout men carried Stephen to his
! burial, and made great lamentation
over him"
And it came to pass, when our
Chief Priests and Elders were gath
cred together in Convention at
Charleston, that many of the heather
would not fall down and worship
our golden calf. And we said unto
them that they we're wrong; that the
golden calf wo'd grant them many
indulgences; he would give Bourbon,
whiskey, applejack, and red eye as
beverages, and had promised nine
hundred and ninety nine thousand
Missions, Postoffices, and Custom.
Houses, and to take five hundred
old fogies into his Cabinet. But all
this would not avail. Nary bowel
Of compassion could be moved with.
in them, and therefore our brethren
came back to us. "And devout men
carried Stephen to his burial, and
made great lamentation over him"
And the disciples Of Stephen spake
unto them saying. that they did not
care whether niggers were voted
upside down, or downside up-it
made no difference. But they were
rebellious and declared that We must
get the nigger off the fence, and pro
tect him in the territories where
there are no fences; but we couldn't
doit. We referred them to Frceport,
where Stephen spoke of "uniriendly
'eSisi"'iV"," bat thy Li'lu'L care n
red for the Police Magistrate of the
territories, but would pasture their
niggers on Uncle Sans farm. They
wouldn't let us put fence of IN.
friendly Legislation around them;
and because we wouldn't give the
niggers pasture. they waxed with
wrath, and Stephen gave up the
ghost. "And devout men carried |
Stephen to his burial, and made great
lamentation over him.
la vain our brethren promised to
erect false bottomed Platform. to
delude tho heather with tricks of
|egerdemain. But they needed not
our entreaties. Oh, the 'irrepressi-
BILE conflict 1t squeezed our poor
little Stephen 30 hard. that govt nor
influenza need trouble him no more
They cast rocks upon him. The
lions roared at him. The eagle
'quivsred his tail at him in proud
defiance Old Buck shook his horn
at him. The nigger shook h,s wool
and laughed at him, because the
'Rail Mauler' received moro votes
from the Suckers than he did. And
one hundred and fitty-two and a
half brethren stood by aud saw him
crushed out, and bewailed their
empty pockets, and the loss of the
good things promised them, "And
devout men carried Stephen to his
burial, and made great lamentation
over him"
And now, in conclusion, my dear
Douglas brethren, know it is hard
for ns TO believe that Stephen is
snuffed out. Wo cannot realize il.
But it is even 80. We shall never
behold his coat tail dragging OH the
ground any more. Its beautiful folds
have been wrapped around his !
wounded seat Of honor, and he has
been lain ct rest.
The "irrepressible conflict" has
dealt him smssher on the mob, and
his voice will no longer charm US
with the beautiful song of popular
sovereignty. Therefore cease your
blubbering for Stephen. There is ,
hope Of salvation for rs. There is a
plank still left for us poor shipwreck.
ed sinners to cling to. Our brethren
North and South already stand upon
it. Though the heather have dc.
nounced it as relic of barbarism,
yet our Elders in the council of tho
nation say it lie good one. We
will all 60 that land of blessed saints
In Utah, where it is fenced in, and
shout for old Mrs. Poly Gamy.-'
There reposing on her bosom, we
will bury all our sorrows for the
immaculate Stephen, who was so
shamefully martyred at Charleston.
Let him rot in peace.
Farewell, thon, TO poor old Stephen,
The famous Charleston martyr;
FOR ne lied so, we couldn't believe him,
And we won't 60 tumbling a,tsr.
Thus, you see, I have quoted the
words Of the Dutch Poet, and we
will close with the words OF the text. |,