Holmes County farmer. [volume] (Millersburg, Ohio) 1857-1926, 1860-10-18
Items Of wit aua Iyumor.

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II parents arc shameless, the conduct
of children will generally be shameful.
Words are but poor fig. leaves to cover
the nakedness of deeds.
The least praiseworthy are generally
the most covetous of praise.
Ifa man is dissipated his fortune will
probably soon be SO too.
The sincere gratitude of one overpays
us for the ingratitude of twenty.
He who is tiger in his own family il
generally sheep in society.
A man winds up his clock to make IL
run. and his business to make it stop.
He that studies revenge keeps his own
wounds green aud ranking.
Ii falsehood paral yzed the tongue, what
a death-like silence would pervsde socie-
ty.
Love is of such superlative worth that
it is more honorable to be its victim than
its conqueror.
Ladies, please be sweet, but don't be
too formal. Be roses but don't be prim
roses.
A certain man says that one Of his boys
knows nothing, and the other does The
question is, which knows the most?
We interest ourselves too much in
things that ought to have no interest for
us. Our mind plays the wanton, and
gives itself to every wooer.
1t is strange way of showing our
humble reverence and love for the Crea-
tor, to be perpetually condemning and
reviling everything that he had created.
When men by age fail in their sight
and hearing, they had better console
themselves with the thought that they
have seen and heard quite enough.
Iyour friends and associates cannt be
amused except by the tricks of q monkey
you had better buy them one than make
one Of yourself.
Fyou respect yourself as much as you
do others, you will be as careful to do
nothing mean when alone, as when in
company.
IftruthfuI and fearless integrity had no
other refuge in the world, they ought to
have in the pulpit an unconquerable for
tress.
Personal beauty is letter of recon-
mendation written by the hand of divin-
ity, but not unfrequently dishonored by
the bearer.
Dobbs thinks that instead of giving
credit to whom credit is due, the cash had
better be paid. Dobbs should not be i'm
pertinent.
Here il a very good domestic toast
"May your your coffee and ISLANDERS
against you be ever alike - without
grounds"
The Hartford Times says that next to
twenty -four grains there is nothing like
mean mans pocket to make penny
wait.
A tailor on Broadway won SIS, 900 by
betting on "Panet" at the late race. He
will now probably "cut" the shop instead
of pantaloons.
A New York paper states that 1867,
900 have been sent in drafts to England
to charter vessels to go to China and take
Coolies to Havana.
An exchange thinks that the Canadians
who were harnessed to a carriage, and SO
drew the Prince of Wales, "made asses
Of themselves"
John G. Heenan has been sued for the
board of fair Adah Isaacs Menken at the
Westchester House, New York. He re-
pudiates both the bill and Adah.
SCENE AT Waiter
please, sir, how will you have your
steak cooked? p Serious Gentleman-
"Well done, good and faithful servant"
Take especial and seasonable care. il
you are a man, that your children shall
not have fool for mother, and. if you
are woman, that they shall not have an
ass for father.
The moral hero is one whose voice is
often at first alone, still small voice in
the moral desert against the wind and the
earthquake and the fire of strong and evil
passion.
A lucky clerk in the Registrars Office,
in Boston, recently found, between the
leaves of an ancient volume of records,
Bank of England note, dated 1878, for
100 pounds.
To tell your secrets is generally folly,
but that folly is without guilt; to commu-
nicate those with which yon are entrusted
is always trea cherry, and treachery for the
most part combined with folly.
Many man thinks it is virtue that
keeps him from turning rascal, when il
is only full stomach. One should be
careful and not mistake potatoes for prin-
ciples.
1t is said that girl in England was
struck dumb by the firing of cannon
Since then a number of married men have
invited the artillery to come and discharge
their pieces on their premises.
A facetious boy asked one of his play
mates how a hardware dealer differed
from a boot maker? The latter some
what puzzled. gave it up. "Why," said
.l IL ha cold tha paila