Delaware gazette. [volume] (Delaware, Ohio) 1855-1886, 1860-12-07
VOL XIII.
WRITTEN THE DELAWARE GAZETTE
CLYDE PAPERS, NO. x.
THE BACHELORS HALL,
Wherein Mr.. Tiumins tastes the Sweets of Do
nnes<ie Iife
BY KITTY cLYDK's SISTER.

4
Wherein MIR. Tinlnins tastes the Sweets of d.
mestie Life.
BY KITTY CLYDK's SISTER.
| al am tired to death of boarding house
and hotels Here I am. nearly forty year
| cid, without home or anyfhing to make
bone Of At the sound of that hotel gong
| go mechanically three times day to the d
ming room to eat rare beef. halfdone potatoes
viIainous soups, stews and hashes gotten up b.
black cooks and Irish walters, with indigesti
BILE pies washed down by ale or sour wine 70
desert; go thence to my room, cold an,
cheerless, and nothing to welcome me except
few female heads staring at me from the walls
their eyes always in exactly the same po
sition and their lips looking as If they woult
" cast flouts and jeers " at my deienceless stu
ation-oh how they mock me with their very
silence. Those chambermaids don't know how
to make a bed, and they leave dust all oyei
my books, papers and-and-looking-g glass
They never only half sweep and invariably
forget to take the spiders weas out of the cor
ners Of the wall. s9
Weary, dispirited and forlorn, filed with
moody reflections, / determined to eschew this
way of life and set up for myself. The idea
was brilliant one and the anticipation of its
unfolding beguiled the slow hours of one whole
week Behold me, then, in the third story OF
a large brick block, new bright carpet on
the floor, three cane-bottom chairs, one con-
gress and one arm ditto, cottage bedstead
and lounge; my little library well stocked
with books and table whereon sundry and
divers eating arrangements are punctually laid
morning, noon and night A little room at
one side appropriately furnished, serves for
kitchen and pantry. The first evening of my
stay in these new quarters, sat in my arm
chair with my feet on the mantle piece over the
CRATE, calmly smoking cigar and setting the
whole world of women at defiance. I'll show
them how one man at least can live iadepen-
dently of the whole race" mused |, suppress
ing derisive laugh at thaught of how some
ladies of my acquaintance would be decidedly
taken down at my housekeeping, and how
they would smile family and wish in secret
that they might share the menage with me-
After sweet nights rest, with happy dreams
floating over my pillow and visions of bliss
hal gladdened my folded eyes, rose with the
lark, whistled stirring tune, built fire,
spread up my bed and swept, (what an uncon-
scionable and unexpected dust was raised there
on and how the straws did stick to the carpetl
and then essayed to have breakfast to my
liking which should consist Of the following
items two cups of strong coffee, with cream !;
one slice of ham two boiled eggs fried po-
tatoes, (I always had weakness for fried pota-
toes,) 1 had the evening previous provided my
self with appropriate utensils for cooking !;
with a loaf Of bakers brrad and two pounds
of butter from q neighboring grocery, the sell
Ter whereof, being a very Iice friendly sort oil
man affirmed it to be the best article in town.
First, ! poured quart of cold water over
three spooufuls of the best ground coffee war
ranicd pure Java-ahd looked with calm con-
tent upon the shining tin as the gentle simmer
ing of the contents was heard. The slice of
ham was emphaticalsy done on the lower side
while the upper remained in statuy quo. Par
don slight classical touches) The potatoes l
carefully washed aud sliced without divesting
them of their outer covering and saw them fry
with unmingled satisfaction and delight. Oh,
how my heart dilated and eyes SWAN ut the
mere sight Of the sizzling, steaming vegetable.
With what real gratitude | blessed the sons Of
green Erin for having introduced into the
land of my nativity that iniinitable product Of
the soil. 81
The next act was to cook the eggs which |
did in the tea-kettle.f Remembering that in
my earliest childhood, my mother blessed be
her memory J always allowed everything to
boil until soft, so, of course, in this instance
the rule must be obeyed. ri. ia .,.-.1.f
1 think those eggs must have staid in half.
hour and at the expiration of that time they
seemed to be even harder than at first, though
1 repeatedly tried them with fork. sl.r.s 7.
Having completed the cooking L sat down
to the table flushed with thu exercise and look
ing. us / found upon consultation, fifteen years
younger; but alas when pouring out that cof-
fee, little knew what was in my cup before
me-" Instead of stream Of liquid amber,
there issued from that tin spout, the most pc
culiar colored liquid 1 ever beheld, and the
cream thar 1 turned into it was thicker than
any which had ever before passed under my
observation. g Bless me- thought !, what
a remarkably honest milk-man have secured" !"
and upon congratulating myself on this, tasted
a bit-Shade of Hercules /! how strong and
sour it was. y 2 : - --s&
The potatoes too had queer flavor; they
appeared to lack some kind of seasoning,
seems to me it was salt, of the peelings inter
spersed, forbear to speak-and those eggs
rocks, stones and women's hearts are nothing
in comparison.
L have been thus minute IN the description
of my first breakfast, so that, should these pa
pers be given to the world in the event of my
death, which / feel draws nigh !; it may know
some of the trials of doomed man.
I will say, however, that my coffee was
somewhat improved the next morning by
breaking an egg into it just before bringing
it on the table after the boiling process, which
had the effect to settle it slightly.
Nv next effort was to make loaf of bread,
as wished to encourage home manufacture
took of flour, two fbs.; SALT sprinkling; l
pint OF warm water and found an agreeable di-
version in mixing together the contents. 1t
stood under my stove whole day but didnit
come up had omitted the :" Tightening, y
familiarly known as emptins; having suddenly
thought of the lack,sI went to the brewers,
procured a piiTt of yeast and made another
trials This time the loaf seemed to be like
some bad boysI had known in my youth, dis
posed to run away. I never did see such sur
prising dough, it overran the confines of the
baking tin and wandered over the floor in suel
peculiar manner that it instantly reminded
me of a debtor pursued by dun.
r 1 found the process Of making bed alsc
very exhilarating. The straw Il abhor mat
tresses) would not stay in the right place, ano
the feather-tick was SO peculiar in its eonstruc
tion. that it produced upon me the effect of ly
ing on a side-hill, and somehow the coyerlic
and other spreads of that nature, never looked
ut all regular aud smooth, which latter 1 con
ceive to be the height of perfection in that de
partment. Perhaps the public may be ready
to inquire I" Sir what branch of housekeeping
did vnn find most difficult 2" NV anssYer oh