Democrat and sentinel. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1853-1866, 1860-10-24

Artemus ward Sees the Prince.


At last TIE he'd an interview with the
Prince. though it putty nigh COS, me my val
cradle life. l cawt gliIDse of him as he
sat of Pizarro of the hotel in Sarnia, L ell
bowed myself through crowd of wimin.
children. sojers and injins that was hanging
round the tavern. L was drawin near the
Prince when red fased man in Millingtery
close grabt holt of me and asked me where I
was goin all so bold?
''Tosee Albert Edard the Prince of Wales"
sez l. "who be you:''
He sed be was Kurnal of the Seventy Fust
regiment, Her Majestys troops. L told him
L hoped the Seventy Onsters were in good
heltb. aud was passin by, when he ceased
holed OF me agin, and sed ia a tone of indig-
mint cirprise:
''Wbat? Impossblel 1t kannot bel
Blarst my hize, sir. did [ understan you to
say that you was actooly goin into the pres
ents of his Royal Iuiss?"
That's what's the matter with me-" re-
piled.
'But blarst my hize, sir, its represented.
It's orful. sir. Nothing like it haint happen
ed since the Gun Powder Plot of Gay Forks
Owdashus man, who air youI"
Sir" sez [, drawin myself up, & putin
on defiant air. .'Fme a Amerycan sitersen
Ny name is Ward I'm husband and the
father of twins, which I'm happy to state
they look like me. By perfessiOn, I'm
exhibitor Of wax works SIGH"
Good God." yelled the kurnal 1.-THE idee
of exhibitor OF wax works goiu into pres
ents of Royalty! The British Lion may well
With rage at the thawt."
Sez |, Speaker of the British Lion, kur-
mel Tde like to make bargin with you fur
that beast fur few weeks to add to my show"
| didn't meen nothiu' by this | was only
gttin OFF goak, but you orter hev seen the
old Kurnel jump up and howl. He actooally
foamed at the mouth.
This can't be real, :" he showtid. No,
no. It's horrid dream. Sir, you are lot
a human beiu you hev no existence-yu7e
u myth
WALL" sez l, ''old boss. yule find me
rather Uncomfortable Myth eft you punch my
inards in that way agaiu - | begun to git
little ried foc when be called me Myth he
punched me pooty hard. The Kurnel now
commeuct showtin for the Seventy Onsters
at first thawt Ide stay & become Mar
ter to British Outrage, Ssh a course might
git my name up any name up and be good
advertisement 20 my Show, but 1t occurred
to me that ef any of the Seventy Onsters
stummick it might be unpleasant, 4 [ was
OH the piat Of ruunin orf when the Prince
hisself kun up and axed what the matter
sez |, Albert Edard is that you? & he
s;nilt & sed it was. Sez |, Albert Edard,
hears M card l Cum 20 pay ny respecss
to the futur King of England. The kurnel
of the Seventy Onsters hear Is rather small
per taters, but of course you halat TO blame
fur that. He puts many airs as though
he was the Bully Boy with :hc glass eye"
Never mind - sez Albert Edward, lime
glad to see yu, Mister Ward, at all events,
q he tux my band SO pleasant like d larted
SO sweet that fell in love with him at onct.
He handed me segar, aud We sot down and
commenst smoking right cheerful.
.'Wen," seq 1. Albert Edard, how's the
folks.''
"Her Majesty and the Prince are well, he
said
..Duz the old man take his Lager Beer
REGULAR L inquired
The Prince iarfed and intermated that the
old man didn't let many kegs of that bever-
age spile in the cellar in the course of yere.
We sot there aud tawked for sum time about I
matters and things, & bimeby axed him /
how he liked bein' prince as fur as heed got. |
ITO speak plain. Mr.. Ward he sed, Il
don't much like it I'm sick of all this bowin, |
and scrapin' and crawlin aud hurrying' over
boy like me. L would rather go threw the |
country aud enjoy myself il my own way, |
with the other boy, and not made a show of +
to be garbed at by everybody. When the |
peple cheer me ] feel pleased. fur know they 1
meen it, but if these one hoss officials Good I
know how [ see threw all their moves and I
exactly what they air after, and |
knowd how I larfed at them in private, thayd |
stop kissin my hand and fawnin over me as
they do now But you know Mr.. Ward. l .
can't help beiu' a a Prince, and must do all 4
kin to fit myself for the persishun l must /
some day occupy.
s.Tbat's troo," sez I. sickness and the
doctors will carry the Queen orf one of these
days, sure's yer born"
The time heven arove for me to take my /
departer l rose up aud sed: ALBERT Edard, 1
! must go, but previs to doiu' so, [ viii OBJ .
sarve thar you suit me. Yure good feller,
Albert Edard. and though I'm agin Princes 4
as gineral thing. l must say ike the cut
of your Glib. When you git to be King try
to be as good a man as your mother has been. /
Be just and be JcOerus. espeshully TO show
men, who hev alters beer aboozed sins the
dase of Noah, who was the fust man TO go
into the Menergy business, and ef the the
daily papors of his time to be bleeved, Noah's
collekshun of living wild beests beet emmy
thing ever seen since, tho l make bold to
dowt eff his snakes were ahead of mine
Albert Edard, adoo.' tux his hand, which
he shook warmly. & given him a perpetooal
free pass to my show, & also papers to. take
home for the Queen & old Albert, I put on
my hat & walkt away.