Pomeroy weekly telegraph. [volume] (Pomeroy, Meigs County, Ohio) 1860-1866, 1860-06-12
GAIT and ddlisdom.


aA- The anxiety that man feels for
the want of funds is called capital pun
ishment.
~ Wholesome sentiment is rain,
which makes the fields of daily life fresh
and colorless.
Bd~It is the man who makes the most
noise that secures the most attention
from the world.
sa. An Irishman making love to
lady of great fortune, told her she could
not sleep for dreaming of her."
sea. A western country editor has be-
come so witty that his wife manufactures
all the butter his family uses from the
cream of his jokes.
ssWhen carved work comes in fash
ion, you will be the prettiest fellow l
ever saw" said wag to fop deeply
Scared with the smallpox.
p%"Please, sir, mother says will you
let her have quarter of pound of your
best tea, to kill rats with, and an ounce
of chocolate as would kill black beetles?'
sA- The very last curiosity spoken Of
in the papers is a wheel that came off
dogs tail when it was Vaughn. The
man who discovered it has since retired
from public life.
ne- The blessing of an active mind,
when in proper condition, is, that it not
only employs itself, but is almost sure to
be the means of giving wholesome en-
ployment to others.
RETom and Joe were talking over
their travels, when Tom asked his chum:
"Were you ever in Greece "No," re-
piled Joe, "but | once fell into thun-
dering tub of soap.
When Lycurgus wished to reform
and alter the state of Sparta, one advised
that it should be reduced to an absolute
popular equality. "Sir,' said the law
giver, "begin in your own house"
na-"It is a deplorable condition" :"
says Bishop Sherlock, "to be always
doing what we are always condemning. "
The reproaches of others are painful
enough, but when the lash is laid on by
your own hand, the anguish is intolera-
ble
nm-An Irish sailor, riding on horse
back, came to a stand-still for the horse,
in beating off the flies, had his hind foot
caught in the stirrup. "Arrah, now,
ould Dobbin," cried Pat, san if it's yer
self now intends to mount, fax, it's time
/ were out Nv yer way, sure.
nea.An Irish veterinary student, when
under examination, was asked what he
would recommend if there was horse
brought to him with particular speci-
fed disease?
"Och! by the powers, he replied, 'I'd
recommend the owner to get rid OF him
Immediately"
na- A city merchant, who takes a
business view of most things, when re-
Gently asked respecting person Of a po-
etic temperament, replied
"Oh. he is one cf those men who have
soarings after the infinite, and divings
after the unfathomable, but who never
pays in cash.
~Jones had been to a champagne
party, and returned home at late hour
lie had hardly got into the house when
the clock struck FOUR
"One-one-one-on hiccupped
Jones. II say, Mrs. (hic) Jones, this
clock must be out Of (hic) order; it has
struck one (hic) four times!'
a@A man much addicted to drink
ing. being extremely i'll with fever, a
consultation was held in his bed chamber
by three ply ysicians, how to cure the fever
and abate the thirst. "Gentlemen," he
said. II will take half the trouble of
your hands, you cure the fever, and
will abate the thirst myself.
na- The Washington Constitutio,
says that ''the Democratic party is abl'
to meet any crisis" The Democrat,
party and full-grown crisis did NEE
each other at Charleston few weeks
ago, and we are constrained, as disinter
ested observers, to say that the crisis ha
decidedly the best Of it. Twas prett,
hard fight, though.-Louisville Journal
The play was Shakspeare's "Rome
and juliet. a scapegracc, whose nam
happened to be Romeo, was stuck fas
in the pit At the moment when Julie
exclaims, "Romeo, where art thou?' u
got Romeo, No. 2
"Here I am in the pit had only
quarter, and couldn't come it into tn
boxes!''
The house was in roar. The seen
alone was. worth double the amount.
nA-A tipsy customer, who was seate
on the box with a stage-driver, swaye
backward, until he tumbled off, Tn
y mud was deep, and he fell soft.
There, now," he exclaimed as h
\crawled out Of the slough, II knew yo
\ould upset if you didn't take care.
Qn'being told that they had not VI
Stupsett" he echoed in amazemen