Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1860-10-25
MISCELLANEOUS READING.

WHATS IN A NA4E?-A few days since the
wife Of one of our dry goods jobbers thought
TO astonish her husband by her exquisite
taste in selecting a dress. Appearing at the
breakfast table In new wrapper, she ex-
claimed. Don't you think this beauty,
and only two shillings yard-French?"
French" exclaimed the husband, that is
an American print, which am selling every
day at 9!~ents!
A somewhat similar scene transpired at
the St. Nicholas Hotel, New York. A couple
of distinguished ladies appeared at the break
fast table with what they supposed to be
beautiful French calico wrappers. A mutual
acquaintance, in conversation, remarke ed that
he was astonished at the improvement made
in American prints of late years, enforcing
his remarks by calling the attention of the
two ladies to the quality of their dresses--
"Oh! these are French" they exclaimed =
Il assure you. Mesdames," said the imper-
turbable gentleman, "that your dresses are
Manchester prints" The ladies did not faint,
but their elegant French prints passed into
the hands of the chambermaid.
tits this folly which compels the jobber to
afix French cards to his American prints, and
keeps down the character of American manu-
factures. America possesses the means and
skill to compete with foreign countries in the
manufacture of everything if we except rich
silks; and when our wives cease to blush in
wearing an American fabric, because it is
American, then will our manufactures as
sumo the position their excellence deserves =
Com. Bulletin.
The following are from Punch"
TnI Cur OF MIsERY-W read ia the ltal-
ian correspondence the following distressing
fact:
"There has been an insurrscton in Todi."
Wesuppose such an insurrection was stirr-
ed up with spoon. We should recommend
that an Irishman or a Scotchman be sent
over to quell this insurrection, for they are
the boys for putting down Tod 7oddy)
EXTREMELY SHELL-FISH.-We beg leave to
present the reader with the two following
latest novelties in the way of autumnal con
nundrums:
lst Why have Holsters no feeders. Be-
cause they have amtenne (hacenf any,
ID. Why is supplementary plate of crabs
like the Alien Act Because it contains an
extradition clause Ian extra dish and CLAUSE
If the too indulgent reader were to try for
thousand years he would never be able 10
beat the above in badness.
QUESTIONS FOR ORDINArIoN.-If rich
Dean has GO 900 per annum allowed him, does
he not enjoy surplus income? If he has
saving faith. how much money is he likely to
leave behind him?
FANNY FERNS AWE" OF a HUsBASD.-A
lady having remarked that awe is the most de-
licious feeling wife can hold toward her hus.
band, Fanny Fern thus comments:
Awe of IA man whose whiskers you have
trimmed, whose hair you have cut, whose
cravat you have tied, whose shirt you have
put into the wash, whose boots and shoes
you have kicked into the closets, whose dress
ing gown you have worn while combiEg your
hair. who has been down in the kitchen with
you at eleven o'clock at night to hunt for q
chicken bone who has hooked your dresses,
unlaced your boots, and tied your bonnet;
who has stood before your looking-glass with
thumb and finger on proboscis, scratching
his chin; whom you have buttered and teas
ed; whom you have seen asleep with his
mouth wide open ridiculous!