The Lansing state Republican. [volume] (Lansing, Mich.) 1855-1874, 1860-11-21
A NUMEROUS REPORT.

Rev. George H. Adams, ID. d., Of Bruins
wick, was appointed Chairman Of the Com
nittee on 90 Preserves, Pickles. &C." Hi:
report is very readible, full of humor and
good sense, and flashes Of wit, which, when
read, convulsed the audience present with
laughter. He first ascertans the duty Of
the committee, by an analysis of the mean
ing Of the term preserves. pickles, and
so toyth," giving definitions from Webster
aud citations from shakespeare
..Hpx c,m'st thou in tbs pickle"
and admits that the committee are in fine
pickle, having to adjudicate the contending
claims of parcel of notable housewives.
After awarding the premiums. the Rev.
gentleman concludes with a series of re.
cipes, which will, We doub: not, be read
with pleasure by all. We have the fol.
lowing:
To male Vinegar Of the strongest
kind-Take one quart of the milk Of hu-
man kindness. such as the poet sings Of,
pour into an earthen pan. set on table,
with chair in front facing the sun. Place
in the chair regular, old fashioned. TAFT
ling. misunderstanding gossip. spectacles on
nose. snuff box in lett hand. large pinch
between thumb aud finger of the right /; let
her lOol inten.ly at the aforesaid milk ff-
teen minutes by the kitchen clock, without
winking, aud if it isn't sour and sharp at
the end of the fifteen minutes-report to
the Committee. and they'll drink it.
To impart double relish to Pre-
Seyres and PickleS.-Send small jar Of
each. with best respects, to your minister
Or if you should hear that neighbor has
got the start of you, peck of peas or a
bushel Of potates. or few rolls first premi-
um butter will answer.
N. Il. Never mind the Printer. He lives
on Gas
Tokeep good natured, and aerer quar-.
rel.-If it should fail, give something to
somebody every day.
TO keep up a netghbOrhoOd quarrel.
Stir it once week adding if needful a
few drops of "ile o vitril" 1t will be as
good a hundred years since as it is to
day.
To Keep good s,ame-Be a good
man. and above all never be a candidate
for Governor or President.
To preserve an old .t0gy-Put in a
barrel and head up. There's pepper and
vinegar enough in hin, to keep him, with
out further application. as long as the
world wants him.
To Preserre Beanty.-Say your pray.
ers every morning. read your Bible every
night, and the newspapers every week
Never seold your husband, for every scold.
ing causes two wrinkles, one in the solder,
the other the scoldee. Cultivate your
mind, cultivate your atfections-for taere
is no genuine beauty withou, intellect and
heart. Never be inpatient Ever return
smiles for frOwns.
TO keep Beau First-as Mrs. Glass
in her cook book says about the turbot-
catch him Then. if your beau being
fairly Tor unfairly caught, belongs to the
genus homo. if. In other words. he is a
real man, treat him oncs weekday
time but Saturday nights, lest he should
sleep in meetings on Sunday-to dish
composed Of two parts good frank common
sense. and one part hearty womanly kind.
ness. But if he belong to the genus SIM
ia. which is. being interpreted, dandy, ap.
ply soft soap. laid on pretty thick and be
will be sure to last till the next crop comes
in. when you can easily get another of the
same sort. just as good.
TO keep a Beau Miss--'s ,cay]
Take him into the kitchen, the store.
room. the cellar, show him the preserves
aud pickles aud all the nice things your
own fair hands Tor your mother's) have
made. suggesting the anticipation of many
sweet and good things in years to come.
To keep a Beau rhen all other meth.
ods faii-slortest. cheapest, sxress ,cay
IF au.-Send for the ohairman Of the com.
mittee on preserves. pickles. and 50 forth,
who viii quickly put the poor young man
into a pickle. which he will not quickly
get cut Of.
All Of which is mos, respectfully sub.