The Alleghanian. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1859-1865, 1860-03-22
NO. 81.
wiz and Wisdom.

ra- \ fools misunderstanding is the
spice Of life.
se5- There is no lock in the world that
requires such careful picking as wed-lock.
EEA It is an old saying, but a very
pretty one, that blush is like a pretty
girl, for it becomes a woman.
nes- 1t is a great deal better to say less
than half what you think, than to think
only half what you say.
rsa- In marriage, as in war, the terms
Of capitulation are often violated by the
conqueror.
ssa- In the throat of man choked to
death while eating sausages, was found a
large piece Of brass marked ''Fido."
Ezg~ Sarah" said a wag, ''it's all over
town." whats all over town ?' was
the anxious inquiry. Mud" Sarah's
eyes dropped.
ra- If you would enjoy your cigar, and
at the same time the society of the ladies',
you should invite none but widows, for
they will bring their own weeds.
ra- As winds the ivy around the tree,
as to the crag the moss-patch roots, so
clngs my constant soul to thee. my
own, my beautiful-n,y Joots
D&y- One day last fall, a farmer in H.
linois cradlcd three acres of wheat, and
that night his wife, not to be outdone by
him, cradled three babies
rea- A man, describing prairie village
after hurricane had passed over it, said
that next morning he ''saw twenty houses
full of people with their gable ends blown
cut"
kI~ Let young people remember that
their good temper will gain them more
esteem and happiness than the genius and
talents Of all the bad men that ever ex-
listed
gay- Mrs. Partington says nothing de-
spises her so much as to see people who
profess to expect salvation, &c to church
without their purses when a recollection
is to be taken up.
Bsa- \ man named Oats, was held up
recently for beating his wife and children
On being sentenced to imprisonment, the
brute remarked that it was very hard aman
was not allowed to thrash his own oats.
Gsa- Next to the wonder how the milk
got into the cocoa-nut, came George the
Thirds marvel how the apple got into the
dumpling. This has been succeeded by
the question why white ashes should come
from coal when Goals are so deuced black
rsa- dad, let's go down to the alley
and have 4 game at ten pins"
Ten pins! What do you know about
rolling p
"Me! why I can jist roll your darned
old eyes out in five minutes"
By Theodore Hook was walking, in
the days Of Warrcn's blacking, where one
Of the emissaries of that shining charac-
ter had written on the wall, TRY War
ren's 3" but had been frightened
from his propriety and fed. "The rest
is lacking" said the wit
psn- The other night, a landlord dis
covering one of his customers drunk, and
slushing about in the mire, went to his
assistance, and setting him upon his feet,
inquired il he was sick, or what the mat
ter was. "No," replied the boozy Gus
toner, Il amt drunk-but I'm almighty
discouraged ''
nS9- y doctor ordered one of his pa
tients to drink flower of sulphur water
the patient expressed his disgust by sig
nfcant grimaces. at is only the first
glass that is hard to drink" said the doc
| tor. "Then," rejoined the invalid, Il
will begin with the second"
Esg~ Millions of wild pigeons passed over
Cincinnati on Sunday. a great fuss is
made in this State when single bill passes
over the head of the Governor, and we
wonder what Cincinnati must have tho't
when so many bills passed over her head
in single day.
E@s~A wag called aloud in the pit of
Drury Lane Theatre-"Mr Smith, your
house is on FIRE" whereupon a hundred
and twenty-five Smiths arose; when he
continued, lit is Mr.. John Smiths house."
then sat down, leaving preponderance of
hundred and fifteen Johns in a let
amount of one hundred and twenty-ii
Smiths.
nA- \ legal gentleman of this city, who
is unfortunately afflicted with an impedi-
ment in his speech, few days since had
his attention attracted by the stock in
trade CT bird-dealer doing bushes On
the sidewalk in Nassau-street.
"Do-do- do-do-es tha-that that p-p-p-par-
rot talk 20
Talk" was the indignant rejoinder !;
"if lie couldn't talk better than You, I'd
wrinp his neck for him."