The Oxford intelligencer. (Oxford, Miss.) 1860-18??, 1860-11-14
A Modern ls.clionar,.

Modern IsseliOR..ry.
Heart-A rare article, sometimes found in hui
man beings. 1t is soon, however, destroyed by
commerce with the world or else becomes faidl
TO its possessor
Housewifery-An ancient art said to have
been fashionable among girls and wives; now
entirely out Of use, or practiced only by the
lower orders.
Wealth-the most respectable quality Of man.
Virtue-an awkward habit of doing different
from other people. A vulgar word. IL creates
great mirth in fashionable circles.
Honor-ShoOtng a friend through the head
whom you love, in order to gain the praise of
others whom you positively despise.
Laughter-An agreeable and contagious con-
vulsion Of the human countenance on receiving
a tailor's bill, or being asked to return an UNI
brella
Managers of Lotteries-Men who pay the leg
islature handsomely for the privilege of cheating
the people
Low Proceedings-Unbrushe cobwebs of the
dark ages.
Cigar-A slender, yellow speckled tube
formed Of dried leaves of wonderful plant dis
covered by Raleigh. When women turn false
and men selfish-when your creditor duns you
like fend, and your debtor takes the act
when the future looks dark, and the present
dreary; by the fragrance of this little instru-
ment, extracted by means of fire, you are for a
brief period rendered insensible to every sor-
nd l.,lI aI int
than those of sleep.
Satirical Poems-IIarmless impertincnce in
verse.
Marriage-The gateway through which the
lover leaves his enchanted region and returns to
earth.
Desth-An i'll bred fellow, who visits people
at all seasons, and insists upon their immediate
ly returning to his call
Friend-A person who will not assist you be-
cause he knows your love will excuse him.
Welded Bliss-A term used by Milton.
Bargain-A ludicrous transaction in which
each party thinks he has cheated the other.
Doctor-A man who kills You to-day, to save
you from dying tomorrow.
Lunatc Asylum-A kind of hospital where
detected lunatics are sent by those who have
the adroitness to conceal their own infirmiy.
Tagedian-A fellow with tin pot on his
head who stalks about the stage and gets into
violent passion for so much a night
Critic-A large dog that gets unclaimed
and banks at everything he does not compre-
bend.
mpossibility-Breakfas on board a steamer
without sausages.
Esquire-Evcrybody, yet nobody; equal TO
colonel.
Jury-Twelve prisoners in box to try one
or more at the bar.
Young attorney-A useless member of soce-
ty, who often goes where he has no business to
be, because he has no business where he ought
to be.
States cvidencc-A wretch who is pardoned
for being baser than his comrades.
Political ishonesty-Previous lexico2raph-
ers have not noticed this word, treating it as
altogether fabulous. For definition, eide SELF.
interest.
The grave-An ugly hole in the ground which
lovers and poets wish they were in but take I'M
common pains to keep out of it.
Sensbiity-A quality by which its possessor
in attempting to promote the happiness of other
people, loses his own.
A man of talents-An impertinent scoundrel
who thrusts himself forward a writer of exc
cradle poetry; person without modcsty;
noisy fellow; speech maker.
lawyer learned gentleman, who rescues
your estate from your enemies and keeps it
himself
My dear-An expression used by man and
wife at the commencement of a quarrel
Honesty-An excellent joke.
Dentist-A person who finds work for his
own teeth by taking out those of other people.
Fear-The shadow of hope.
Tongue-A little horse which is continually
running away