Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1860-11-02
MISCELLAN Y.
Squire Richards Cow.

Want 10 sell.'
wall, l donno. Want to buyT
That depends on the price. Whatll you
sell her for?'
Make me an offer.
Wall, spose she's worth eighteen or
twenty dollars. Somewhere about that
Eighteen or twenty doll,rs! Land soul
Mr.. Smith Why, that COW is the real
Durham, Cheshire short horn--the best
breed in the world, you know
'Sho you don't say say so, though, do
ye! Strange, now,I didn't notice it. Come
from the town of Short Horn, ehy
Land soul, no, Mr.. Smith. She was
owned by a manly the name Of Short Horny
and they called her Short Horn, you know,
cause Horny was too long to speak. The
man that raised her was an English or Irish
/ forgot which. So you see the cows a
furriner. ] reported her my self from the
continent.
Sho! Why, | never ha' heard word of
it. Kept it private, din't ye, Squirrel!
'Wall yes rather. Ye see its the times
of the know nothing agitation, and ye know
I'm candidate for selectman in my town,
so / was afraid if the people found out that
l was bringin' furren COW over here,
they'd turn right out and spile my election.
You know they're down on furiiners.'
Wall declare, Square, you're sharp.
But the COW can speak-that is roar Eng
lisb, can't she
'Sartinl Just like any other COW. And
now neighbor Smith, if you want to buy a
grand good COW, one that'll give twenty-five
quarts of milk a day, and make ten pounds
of butter week, you'll nev er have another
such chance. wouldn't part with her
at no price to any other man, but you and !
have alters been good friends, and l don't
mind sacrificing few pattry dollars to
obleege you. You may have that Durham
Cheshire short horu COW bred somewhere
in Victoria's dominions, for the sum of forty
five dollars. Dog cheap
.Forty-fve dollars! Oh! Squire, you
must think I'm made of money. l never
can afford to give that. Say forty, and I'D
think about it,
Wall, Mr.. Smith, you're tight hand
at bargain, hut won't stand with you
for few paltry dollars. You may have the
COW for forty
The moneys yourn.'
The cows yourn.'
There, reader that's the way Mr.. John
Smith happened to become the owner of the
Durham Cheshire short horn 'urren' COW
reported from the continent by Jane:
Richer, justice of the peace for Stafford
county, state of New Hampshire. Now
for further particulars.
Mr.. Smith drove his purchase home
much elated with the acquisition, and wher
night came, he would not permit his daugh
ter Jane TO milk the short horn with the
other cows, he must perform the pleasurablt
and highly interesting job himself. Mr.
Smith established himself on three-lag
ged stool at the side of the short horn, ant
placing fifteen quart wooden pail at thu
proper angle, commenced the process. IL
less than second he had the pail briu
full, for the short horn, not probably relish
ing the slow, old-fashioned method of fillin;
the pail with milk, concluded to save Mr.
Smith considerable trouble, and acordingl,
set both her hind feet into the devoted pail
giving Mr.. Smith smart wisk with he
stub tail at the same time!
Mr.. Smith tried to dislodge the obtrud
ing feet, but 10 his surprise, he found them
| fixture. On further examination he ascer
tanned that the feet had quietly knocke
out the bottom of the pail, and the legs @
the short horn were firmly hooped together
He pulled and hauled at the refractory legs
but all to no purpose: they were bound t
stick. So Mr. Smith, as last resort, az
piled hatchet 10 the pail, and rent it
twa;n. Out flow short horns understand
ings, and by the way of examination int
their safety, she let 90 first one and the
the other whack against Mr.. Smiths ankl
bone. Over went Smith and the three-lee
ced milk stool bouncing after him-h
head in fragrant mud-puddle, and his fec
elevated in the elastic fluid which SUI
rounds the earth He screamed to Simo
Mildmay, his hired man, TO come TO th
rescue; but Simon was engaged just the
in the Interesting business of kissing Jan
Smith behind the brindle COW she wa
milking, and it was some time before b
responded to the call.
When Mr.. Smith was once more raise
to the perpendicular, he swore few cas-
words, looked sadly at the Durham Chesf
ire short horn, and went in to Mrs. Smii
to get the wounded limb bound up. Fror
that worthy lady he received but little COZ
ISOLATION.
Il alters told you, Smith, said she, q
keep clear of Squire Richer; he's a FOL
mented speculator and alters will &c; th
best end of bargain. He got cheate