Cincinnati daily press. [volume] (Cincinnati [Ohio]) 1860-1862, 1860-05-15
soliloauy of a Genuine Loafer.


Let's see where am I? Yes, / mind now.
Was coming up street-met wheel barrow
was drunk, comm tother way, the wheel
barrow fell over me or fell over the wheel
barrow, and one of US fell into acellar-don't
know which now-guess it must have been
me. Pm nice man, yes / am-tightl torel
drunk Well, | can t help it-tain't my
fault-wonder whose fault It's? Is it Jones's
Z fault? No.. Is it my wife's faultl Well, it
ain't. Is it the wheel-barrow's fault? No.
It's whiskys fault. Who is whisky? Has he
a large family2 All poor, reckon. | think
/ won't own him any more. I'll cut his ac
quaintance-Tve had that notion for about
ten years, and | always hate to do it for fear
of hurting his feelings. III do it now--I
think liquors injnrin' me, it's spoilin' my
temper. ..
/ Sometimes I get mad, when Pm drunk,
and abuse Bets and the brats-it used to be
Lizzie and the children-thats some time
ago. I'd come home of evenings, she used to
put her arms around my neck and kiss me,
and call me her dear William. When / come
home now, she takes her pipe out of her
mouth, and hair ont of her eyes, and says
somethin' like, "Bill, you drunken brute,
shut the door after you; we're cold enough
hayin' no FIRE, 'thout lettin' the snow blow
in that way" Yes, she's Bets, and Pm Bill,
now. amt good bill nuther; won't pass
o tavern without goin and gettin drunk
Don't knowlwhat bank I'm on. Last Satur-
day night Twas on the river bank-drunk.
stay out pretty late; no, sometimes I'm out
all night fact is, Pm pretty much out all
over-out of friends, out of pocket out of ell
bows and knees, and always outrageously
dirty-so Bets says, but then she's no judge,
for she's never clean herself. wonder why
she doesn't wear good clothes-may be she
hasn't got 'em; whose faults faint mine
must be whisky's. ,r
Sometimes Fm in, however, Pm ntoxi-
eatednow, in somebody's coal cellar. There's
one principle I've got-I won't get in debt;
never could do it. There one of my coat
tails is gone-got tore of, expect, when
fell in here. I'll have to geta new suit soon.
| A fellow told me that I'd make a good
| sign for paper mill, tother day. If he
wasn't so big I'd kick him. I've had this
shirt on for nine days, and Pm afraid il
won't come off without tearing. People
ought to respect me more than they do, fol
Pm in holy orders. b ir,
| Iain't dandy, though my clothes ar'
pretty near Grecian style. ! guess tor'
| this window shutter in my pants tothe
night, when sat down on the wax in Bei
Riggs shop, and I'll have TO get it mended
or-or, I'll catch cold. Iain't very stout a
it is. As the boys say, Pm fat as match
and as healthy as the small pox.
My best hat has been standing guard for
\ window pane that went out the other morn
ing at the invitation of brick bat. It's get
ting cold down here; wonder if | amt abl
to climb. If l had drink could thinl
better. Let's see; amt got three cents, if
was in tavern would sponge one. When
ever a person treats and says, "Come fellers,
i always think my name is "fellers," and ~
7 got too good manners to refuse. Well,
must leave this, or they'll arrest me for a
attempt at burglary. ] amt come to ths
yet. Anyhow It was the wheelbarrow tina
did the harm-not me-