The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1860-01-12
VARIETY.

History is the essence Of innumerable biographies
The hour concealed. and so remote the fear,
Death still draws nearer, never seeming near.
great change in life is like a cold bath in winter
I'VE all hesitate at the first plunge
.sAn even exchange is no robbery" the widow
said when she swapped herself off for widower.
Hogs are universally considered dirty animals;
nevertheless. pig likes his daily wash.
There many idlers to whom a penny begged is
sweeter than q shilling earned--JerroId.
The question is discussed in some Of the Missouri
papers whether raising hemp is a good business A
much better business, certainly. than being raised by
What is stronger in death than in life. An old
yellow-legged hen. If you don't believe 1t, try to
dissect one after roasting.
Most men seem to consider their school learning as
If It were like tadpoles tail. meant to drop off as
soon az the owner comes to full growth.
Absence. which smothers into decay roOtless
fancy, often nourishes the least seed Of true aec-
ton into fuli-howering love.-John HafydE-
Nobody is more certain to be overreached than
your sharp fellow. If nobody else overreaches him,
he Is very sure to oyerreach himself.
He is happy whose circumstances suit his temper;
but he is excellent who can suit his temper to
any circumstances.-Hume.
Scof not at the natural defects of any which are
not in their power to mend Oh, it is cruel to beat
cripple with his own crutches.-Fuiier
Il Is lard to personate and act part long; there
FORE if man thinks it convenient to seem good let
him be 50, indeed.-1fiiotson.
There will always be something new to say about
women 80 long as one of them remains on earth--De
Bou66ers.
gentleman reerettine the loss of his first in the
presence of his second wife, told that had
more reason to wish his former spouse alive than she
had.
II requires more courage to think differently from
. multitude than it does to fight them. The FIRST
hero, therefore, not he who made the first con-
quest, but he who uttered the first doubt
Southern Methodist minister, detailing his expe-
rience on n certain circuit, counted twenty-six child
rem that were named after him, and added that du-
ring the year he received as compensation, just thir
teen dollars.
"I declare, MOTHER said petted little girl in
pettish little way, tits too bad, mothers you always
send me to bed when not sleepy. and you always
make me get up when am sleepy"
A QUEER PLArYoRM-The General Baptist Banner
the new (open communon) paper published at
Murray, Kentucky, says 60 While we, as denom-
ination. tolerate dram drinking we advise the breth
it cautiously. and for Gods sake. let the
sacred and ho. ministers of God touc it lightly"
OREGON must be a great country for moisture. A
writer for the Knickerbocker now in Oregon says
rains &c hours in the day, for months in the
II commenced he says on the I'd Of last November
and continued until the 18th of May, when it set in
for long storm which is not ended yet!
An absent-minded lawyer sat down to write a deed
and began it, " Know one woman," when his clerk
Immediately interrupted him with, You are wrong,
SIR you are wrong; it should be '' Know all men,
Well never mind retorted the old crab s'if one
woman knows it, all men will soon know it,
CnrrrcsN-A critic in the fine arts. finding fault
with o painting, said: "Why, this fellow cannot
even paint fp-see there 20 and he extended his
hand, to point out the defect, when the wronged
painter was acquitted and Nature lbelled, for
the Ay established its claim to its name, and feU
a,cay.
Moren s. Cowles, of Hartford and Lucy A., daughter
Of ]. ". Wood, of Windsor Locks.
Lo an consuming flame
Is the iove-passion OF two souls;
In just two minutes changed CowIes-
Louis XIV. asked Count Mahoney if he understood |
aYes, please your Majesty answered the Count, |
If it is spoken in 1rsh.'
At the Girard House, the other evening, an old |
gentleman came down stairs, evidently in huH, and
evidently from some place far beyond gas-lght He
approached Stewart, the clerk. and impatiently |
oueried-. Here Mr.. Clerk, have you any tallow
eandles,r ssYes sir, we have,'' quietly responded
Stewart 6. Then 1 wish you'd give me some; want
something I can 6iotc out, for I've been blasting
away at that eussed jigg1 in my room till I've no
wind left." Stewart by spasmodic effort kept his
eountenance, and ordered up ''pound OF dips to
room No. -
They have smart boys in Albany. One Of them,
pupil in one of the public schools got OF pleasant
little corceit in rhyme, the other day, as foiioWs
@The moon was setting in cloud,
Pull sedged in a, sola.n len light: light
The chickens Of the night
But oct Of that ERE brilliant brood,
Produced by luna pale,
There bet one poor little chick,
That could produce a tail' Il
/. This might very appropriately come under the
head Of s'comet literature
THE COOLEST YEA good anecdote is told of
man named Bently, most confirmed drinker, who
would drink with a friend in public, and al
ways bitterly denied, when little too steep, ever
tasting liquor. One day some bad witnesses had
concealed themselves in his room, and when the IL
quor was running down his throat, seized him with
his arm crooked and his mouth open, and holding
him fast, asked him with An air of triumph, q" All,
Bentiy, have we caught you at last. You never
drink, hap One would have supposed that Bently
would have acknowledged the Not he; with
the most grave and inexpressble face, he calmly and