Holmes County farmer. [volume] (Millersburg, Ohio) 1857-1926, 1860-08-16
From the Plain Dealer
A POLITICAL SERMON.
BY THE REV. HARDsHELL PIKE.


My BRETHEHiSG:--As gineral thing
Pa ferncnst political pIeachin', but as
Henry WARD BEEcHEh and numerous
others too tejious to mention hev set the
'zample, don't know bnt as how I've
as good a right to preach a few politics
as emmy Of 'em. I'm not eddicated
man, my Brethcring, but | know what
Liberty is, She is a nice old gal, that's
what Liberty is, and my Brethering, ]
take her to my arms, and say, old gol
you suI mel Now ! shant tell you
whar my text is but perhaps you kin find
it if you sarch long enough, and when
you do find it it shall read, lie spW same
rails in Winoy and Jossed roarin' .fat-
boot.
Them is his only qualifications, aside
frnm his personal beauty, for President
Of the United States.
Now this is land of Liberty, and she
shan't be busted mp ef kin help it. !
know thar's n effort bein made to burst
her. Thar's fernatics and traitors and
old women in small dogs clothing hold
OF Mason d. Dixon's line, ierkin and a
haulin and tryin' to sever that bully
old cord, but, my Brethering, it cart be
did, though Abraham Lincoln is cheerin'
on the ierkers and haulers as loud as he
kin, and thaugh he did split some rails in
LRinoy and boss roorin Rat-dOot.
Thar's a conspiciious indiyidyel nam
ell Douglas, chock full of intellect and
pluck, who has heart like a OK and car
ries it in his hand for his country's bene-
fit, who will take keer Of shat ar line and
see that it amt cut, or damaged or allow
ed to rot off like pollywog's tail, as it
would if Linkin was placed in the white
House--Linkin who spit some rails IN II
iinoy and 6oSScd roorin f0i-Joat.
The pizin crew who oppose US tell MS
to come to Abraham's buzzum, when the
fact is he hain't got no more buzzum
than a chist of liners tools has. And |
kin tell the Republican infants who ncs-
tie in that are buzzum that they'll find
mighty poor nussin And lie split some
rails IL Uinoy and Jossed rOartn ttat-
boat.
Make Linkin Capting of the Ship of
State and in less than year she'll be
without rudder, compass or anchor
Who wants to see the Ship of State de-
generate into rickety old flat boat
And he split some 'oils in Winoy and boss
ed a roorin' .fat,Joat.
My bretherin, the man to be the skip
per of the Ship Of State is STEVE DouG-
LAS Of llinoy. STEVE knows every rope
in the ship. He has been in all sorts oil
gales but alters come out all right
Thar's been mootny aboard when he was
before the mast, but he put it down
Thar's been desertion aboard the ship
but hs told the deserters to go to thunder
whar they belonged, and the ship got
along all the better for their leavin'. On
one occasion lie went in for mootiny
hisself, but my brethering, it was right
eous mootiny. The Capting, miserable
old man who could never gi; any body to
marry him, tried to bribe the crew to hist
the black flag and then it was STEVE and
many other brave tars that went in for
mootiny. Some, it is true, stuck to the
Old Capting, for he divided the pnnder
with 'em and they was ornery enough to
do ANYTHING for money. But STEVE beat
the Old Capting all holler and the vardick
is--Sarved him right. The Old Capting
is now in very bad way at Washington
and getting wuss every day. Nothln'
but the fresh air of Wheatand will re-
vive him, and of that he will have an OPP
portunity to partake by the unanimss
consent of his constioounts, on and after
the 4th day of next March My brether-
ing, we will let the poor old hoss go, and
turn orr '.ention to LlNKIN, who SPit
some rails IN Winoy and bOSsed a rodrin'
fdt-boat.
What did. Linkin ever do besides split.
tin rails and bossing i1at-boat? May
be he's a good man. Pm not here tc
maline him, my Brethering, No doubt
he kin split fair rail. Probably nc's {
kind man in his family and pays his gro
GERS bill promptly, but my Brethering
he can't keep a hotel. He's too small {
man--too week sister-to be President
Nobody ever heran tell of him until th'
Republicans of Illinoy set him up to b'
knocked over again by Douglas, notwlth
standin' he split some rails IN HllinOy dnC
boSsed roaria' .Rot boat.
Nv Brethering, must cluse. Pit the
> Little Giant fair and square in the White
House and all will be well. Put him
thar, with his beautiful wife Put him thai
because he belongs thar Mrs. Douglas
will revive the druopin' flowers, shake
Z the dust out of the carpits, have the Sc
gar stubs all carted away, clean the ole
house from cellar to garrett and fill it will
sunshine and joy. And when you g.
u thar it won't seem like goin' into the Gag
of an old he bear, who if you don't fal
: down and lick his paws, will bite you
!, head off
" My Brethering, S. ~. Douglas is m!
= candidate and Mrs. S. A. Doug as is my
candidates..
> Let us all sing "Git out of the VIII
derness' s'-short metre.
)r IEGERDEMAIN - Or HOW TO GET