Litchfield enquirer., 1860-12-20
Alislella1,p.
A NEWSPAPER STORY.

Some fellow,- a collector of Pennsylva- mia newspaper. and other periodicals, lately threw up his commission, and sent back the unpaid accounts with "notcs," which the spirit happened to lay hold on, and they were presented in tangible shape to the world. As they a'e living pictures, met with here and elsewhere, we make extracts The collector says:
 '' Editor Herald of fTluth--Sir;-You ou fur nished me, as you recollect, with list of one hnudred and seventeen owing suLscri- bcrs, called upon one bundred and four of them, and have the honor of paying over to your order three dollars and twelve and one half cts, being the amount to which you are entitled. l return you the list numbered from one to one hundrcd and sixteen, and now give the reply of each.
 No. l.-Is a minister He says in the first place he never got one half of the mum bers, Ca lie, according to the account of the postmaster, and ill the next your joker's col umn is too scurrilous. Besides, he knows from the tone of your editorials that you drink. He wants nothing more to do with you. Never wants to hear from you again.
 No. 2-Is in jail for debt He has not seen half dollar for year. Says he would pay with the utmost checrlulness, if he had the money, but had to borrow a shirt to ,ut on last Sunday. Admires your paper won dcrfully, and hopes you will continue sending it to him. He wishes you to take bold stand in favor of the abolition of imprison- mont for debt, as he thinks it would be a very popular move for gentlemen in his situ- ation. Sends his respects.
 No. 3-ls young doctor. Says your paper is beneath the notice of gentleman. Wouldn't give - for cart load. Says that you inserted an article reaecting on the profession. Only wishes he could catch you here, would make you smell. Is going to persuade everybody that takes your paper to stop it.. Cursed your bill, and says you may get it the best way you can.
 No. As an old maid. Says you are al- ways taking fling at ladies of an uncertain age. Wouldn't pay if she was rolling in wealth, and you hadn't enough to buy a crust of bread. Sent all the papers she had back month ago. and says now she has sent them she don't owe you anything Says she is even with you, and intends to keep SC until the day of judgment.
 No. 5.-1s gambler Says he got com petely cleaned out last week at the races Couldn't accommodate his grandmother with half dime if she was starving Likes your peper tolerably, would like it better if you lpublish he'd more races, and would occasionally give an account Of q cock fight. Hopes you won't think hard of him for not paying you now, but has prospect of soon having some loose change, as he is after Q rich young green horn, who arrived here last week. Will pay your bill out of the plnckings.
 Mo- 6-Is an cid drunkard. Hasn't go anything, and never expects to have Gath cred up all the papers he had and sold then for half pint of rum to the groggery keep CT to wrap groceries in.
 No. lisa magistrate. Swore he nevel owed you cent, and told me I was low rascal for trying to swindle him in such , bare-faced manner Advised me to make tracks in less than no time, or he would ge , a warrant against me as common cheat and have me sent to prison. Is by. all odd the meanest man have seen Never vii go near him again.
 # NO. s-ls politician. Says although you profess to publish neutral paper i isn't so Thinks he has seen considerabl, sq",nl'ng "m towards the side he is opposed to
 The collector concludes with,E"aceen my resignation, and strike me from the lis of agents. have been called h swindlar !. rascal, villain and blood-sucker. These ar some of the names they think proper to he T. stow on mo. I tried fighting awhile, an thrashed some of your patrons like blazes but occasionally got licked like thunder m, self"