The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1860-03-14
Scenes in the Life of a Show
man.
BY ARTEMUS WARD.

A snowman meets Win strange SITES.
He sees human natur as she are, I'M
masked L without no close on, and
he must be stoopider nor ded kab boss
if he duzzent stock his Branes with
several kinds of pollege.
The undersigned won't Boste. Inc
an American citezun. / go in for the
fast saiIin snug bilt & full named skeun-
err United States, which runs herself,
she dus, & on whose decks l man is
as goods anuther man, & frequently
more so. if he condncks himself strate.
TO use Shakespeerian Erase Inc ma
tiv & to the manor horn, & don't want
to put on airs cimply becaws I've met
with CRATE sucksess in the show per-
fershun, (Which I've binto goin on
twenty 2 yeres.) My wurthy projen-
nytors was unable to give me cussy-
cal edycashun, Il all I nosed l pickt
up
GAS sailed, as I saled,'
to kote from Capting R. Kidd, the
celebrated pirut. But thank Heven
nv sire and stress gave me good
name, and | pint with feelins of pride
and pleshure to the fack that nun of
our family was ever in Kongruss or on
the NJ York perlice, or Aims Hous
Gunner
The ensoin seems in my checkered
karreer is respectfully submitted -
wIMIN's RITES
| pitcht my tent in a small town in
Injianny one day last season, 4 while
| wus standin at the door takin mon
noy, deppytashun of ladies cum mp
Il sed they wos members of the Bunk
umville Female Moril Reform & VIM
ms Rites Associashun, and they axed
me if they Good go in without payin.
Not exactly" SEE l but you can
pay without goin in"
Do you know who we air 2" said
one of the wimen-a tall & feroshus
looking critter. with blew kotton um-
breller under her arm" dew You kno
who we air, sur 2"
My impreshun is" sed I, " from
a kersery vew, that you air females"
1--WE air, Sur" said the feroshns
woman; "we belong to a Society
which bleeves wimin has rites which
bleeves she is indowed with as mulch
intelleck as man is which bleeves she
is tramplid on & aboozed, and which
will resist hense4th and forever the in
croachments of proud & domineering
man."
Durin her discourse, the xsentric fe-
male GRABBED me by the koat kollar &
wus swinging her umbrelIer wildly ov-
err my he'd.
hope, marm," SEE /, startin back,
that your intenshuns is honorable /.
Inc lone man here in strange place.
Besides, I've wife to hum"
Yes" cride the female, "& she's a
slave ! Doth she never dream Of free
dom-doth she never think Of throw
in off the yoke Of tyrinny & thinkin 4
speakin & votin for herself? Doth
she never think of these here things +"
mot bein natral born fool" said
|, by this time little riled, II kin
safely say that she dothunt."
30, whot-whot 2" screamed the
female, swinging her umbreller in the
air. 20, whot is the price that wo-
man pays for her experiunse
Il don't know" SEE |, the prise
to my Show is Is cents pur individ-
oul."
"& can't our Socitey go in free,
asked the female.
Motif know it," sed |.
Crooi, crooil man " she cride, &
burst in teers.
won't you let my darter in," sed
anuther of the xcentric wimin, takin
me afeckshunitely by the hand. 20,
pleese let my darter in; shoes sweet
gushin child Of natur."
LET her gush reared ]. ~ mad