Pointe Coupee Democrat. [volume] (False River [i.e. New Roads], Parish of Pointe Coupee [La.]) 1858-1862, 1860-05-12
WIT AND II U II @ Z .

The best way to take pills of Brand
reths description, if you have twenty OF
twenty-five to take, issnot to make theIa
into hash and eat them but to load o
shotgun with them, put the muzz|e
against your stomach, and pull the
! trigger with your toe. This patent OPP
Grafton saves q great deal Of disgust
to the 9u1lct, and bad taste in your
mouth.
I "A sailor being brought before a magis-
tratc for beatin~ his wife, the justice
attempted to rcasonS with him, and so
reach his heart. Why, this is not like
true=heagtcd sailor, 10 beat his wife;
besides. you ought to know that she, as
the Scripture says, is tie weaker vessel"
Thundcr.' cried jack then she
ought not to carry so much sail"
"What's that a pictur on?" said
/ countryman in our Fearing the other
day in a print store, to. the proprietor,
swho was turning over spme engravinga.
t"That, sir" said the dcaer, IFS Joshua
commanding the sun 10 stand still"
-EDu tell! Wall, which is Josh, and
whichsis bis son!"
When tLe sturdy Quaker, VIM Penn,
was introduced to Charles H. he kept on
his hat, "Friend Penn, "Ssaid the good
natured monarch, it is The custom of
this court for only one Sperson to be
covered at time & and thn his Majesty
took off his hat
/
+ Newton's nephew was 4 clergyman
When he had performed The marriage
| ceremony for Il couple, hey always re-
fused the fee. saying, "Goyour ways,
{ poor devils; I have done you mischief
enough already a
Alady went to the cireus the other
day, and was much embarrassed, lest
her class-lcader should hear of her hav-
ing been there The leader was very
much embarrassed in finding her there
himself
Molere was asked the reason why, in
certain countries, the king may assume
+ The crown at fourteen years Of age, and
cannot marry Before eighteen? at is"
answered Moiiere, "because it is more
difficult to ruAe wife than q kingdom"
The following conclusion to q life of
RobespierrdSapp in newspaper:
This extraordinary nobleman left 10
children behind him, except his brother,
who was killed at the same time"
$50, Charley, l hear you have been
to a juvenile party" Prccociors boy
f4WeI, l don't know what you call juvc-
nile Thcrcwas no one there under five
years old"
saIn a published list of passengers from
India, in the English papers, we sec u
queer distinction made. Seventeen
women are reported among the number
and two officers wives.
It hasabeen discovered that bread
can be manufactured Out of wood
Long Before this discovery was made,
atwood was known tosllavc a grain in
it.
e & II don't think, husband, you arc very
smart :. No, indeed, wife, but every
body knows am awfully shrcwd.'
Il Parents ir-law arc naturally quarrel
some, from the fact that they have
Joined issue with each other.
1t may fairly bescontended that in
veterate laziness is the most effective
labor-saving machine ever invented.
Il A quack advcrtises a compound that
will cure everything, from q bad charac-
ter to a bad temper. 70
What means Of conveyance by land,
and what by sea. are ladies fondest OFF,
Buses and smacks.
Somebody says that the best way to
keep food on a weak stomach is to bolt
it down.
4 bachelor merchants advice in Sc
lccting a wife: Get hold Of piece Of
calico that will wash.
When a lover dotcs on his darling,
refusal acts as an antidotc
How to make people acknowledge The
corn-lrcal Oh tli";r toes.
Bashfnl young men are victims Of mis-
apprehension.
Fast youths are now called young
gentlemen Of accelerated :saiF
A splendid ear. bat vcrv poor voice,
a. HE orra1t-~riHsi'r Sal n' the .tnnf,r,..