The weekly pioneer and Democrat. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. Territory) 1855-1865, 1860-04-20
Miscellaneous Items,


acquainted with her native language, which
neither the Judge nor the clerk understood.
In this emergency one of the counsel volun-
teered to administer the oath, which he did
in the following terms :-"Vous jurez Eat
wat you here testify shall be re truse, re
whole truse, and Messing but re truse." For
a moment the lady looked with astonish-
ment at the clerk pro tenn, and then said in
perfect good English, but with slight for
eign accent, what does the gentleman say %
A MOTHER s Children, look in those
eyes, listen to that dear voice, notice the
feeling Of even single touch that is bestowed
upon you by that gentle hand Make much
OF 1t while yet you have that most precious
OF all good gits-a loving mother. Read
the unfathomable love of those eyes the
KIND anxiety OF that tone and look, however
slight your pain. In after life you may have
friends, fond, dear, kind friends, but never
will you have again the inexpressible love
and gentleness lavished upon you which none
but a mother bestows. Often do | sigh in
my struggles with the hard uncaring world,
for the sweet deep security felt, when of an
evening, nesting to her bosom. l listened
to some quiet tale suitable to my age read
in her tender and untiring voice. Never
can [ forget her sweet glances cast upon me
when appeared to sleep never her kiss of
peace at night Years have passed away
since we laid her beside my father in the old
churchyard yet still her voice whispers
from the grave, and her eye watches over
me as L visit spots long since hallowed to
the memory of my mother Macaulay.
PUNCH.-Among the jokes in the last
number of the London Punch is the follow.
ing.
Discerning Child, (who has heard some
remarks made by Papa Are you our new
nurse p
Nurseries, dear
Child-'Well then, I'm one of those boys
who can only be managed by kindness-so
you had better get some sponge cakes and
oranges at once!
81 SAY, Higgins" said fellow to that
aspiring but as yet unappreciated tragedian,
81 met rich old gentleman in the city who
declared he would give hundred pounds to
see you perform Hamlet" "You don't
say SOP" Fact, assure you and, what's
more, I'm positively certain that the old
chap means it." "By Jove, then, it's bar
gain" Higgins cried "Ill play it for my
benefit. But who is he?" "Ah, to be sure,
! didn't tell you. Well, he's blind man."
Higgins never spoke to the wretch again.
The petty torment-woman's Tongue!
I'd just made fast this half-inch rope,
And entertained pleasing hope
That was comfortably hung,
When down came all that filagree.
Well, now, perhaps, we may agree
10 live IN peace, without contention.
I'll break your neck, if this you mention "
A WITTY fellow slipped down on an icy
pavement. While sitting, be muttered, Il
have no desire to see the town burned down,
but l sincerely wish the streets were laid in
ashes"
In time of much religious excitement
and consequent discussion, an honest Dutch
farmer on the Mohawk was asked his opin>
ion as to which denomination of Christians
were on the right way to heaven. "Vell,
den" said he, wen we ride our wheat to
Albany, some say dis road ish the best, and
some say dat; but it don't make much diff
ference which road we take, for ven we get
dere dey never ask US wish way we come
and it's none of their business-lf uour
wheat IS good!"
ILL-BRED PEOPLE IN WAsH1NGroN.-In
the Washington States we find the following:
Last evening Senator Thompson enter
tanned large party of gentlemen at supper,
including MIR. Speaker Pennington and
quite delegation of the New Jersey Legis.
lature. AS is very apt to be the case, it
was discovered that among the guests were
two who had not been invited, but who
"availed themselves of the OCCASION" las
they write at the State DEPARTMENT. to
"ring in" The Senator, however, was not
disposed to thus entertain strangers, and
they were most unceremoniously elected
from the festal scene.
The system of going to entertainments
without having been invited, has become an
intolerable nuisance. At large party
given few weeks since, the hostess remark
ed that she had reason to believe that nearly
fifty of the gentlemen (O present had thus
intruded themselves. Will it be necessary
to have policeman at the door, whose duty
1t will be to require guests to show their
invitations?
A Diapers advice to his son, in selecting
wife is "get piece of calico that will
wash"
An exchange has the following seasonable
advice on gardening for ladies Make up
your beds early in the morning, sou buttons
on your husbands shirts, do not rake up any
grievances, protect the young and tender
branches of your family, plant a smile of
good temper in your face and carefully root
out all angry feelings, and expect a good crop
of happiness.
AMAN is, in general, better pleased"
says DR.. johnson, "when be has good
dinner upon his table, than when his wife
talks Greek" That is to say that he thinks
more of his grub than her grammar.
IT is said of Erskine that he always
spoke of Satan with respect, as of great
statesman out of place, leader of the Oppo-
sition.
STERN ADVICE TO PARENTS recent
sermon upon the training of children, Henry
Ward Beecher gave the following stern ad-
vice to parents ''Never strike child upon
the head; Providence has provided other
and more appropriate places for punish~
ment."
MAN.
ssWho are YOUR inquired to-day