Western Reserve chronicle. [volume] (Warren, Ohio) 1855-1921, 1860-08-22
From the CornhiH MsnthIy.
HIS MAJESTY KING FASHION.

The sun never sets out of his dominiOns,
and his mere word is law. Nature herself
must bend before his iron will Nature
said that our fathers should wear the hair
she gave them as covering for their heads.
Fashion said that they shOuli shave it of,
and have that of other people, made up
into periwigs for their adoTnmeHt Ma.
ture made a woman's ribs widest at her
middle. Fashion insists that her waist
shall be the most slender part of her per-
son. Nature is very sorry. but if ladies
will not give their heart and lungs fair
play, she cannot be answerable for the
consequences. Fashion replies :-'I take
them on myself-squceze away" Nature
enacts that mothers shall stay at home and
suckle their offspring. Fashion hires them
a wet-nurse, and bids them mot 90 home
till morning, till daylight does appear"
In days Of yore, the estates of this
realm set themselves up against King
Fashion, and were dcfed. They prohibit
cd the wearing of long g-toed shoes by act of
Parliament; they passed laws forbidding
the use of miniver fur by any one under
the rank of baron; they imposed dire pen
alties upon those who should appear in a
coat escalopcd, or cut otherwise at the
edges. King Fashion published his coun-
terblast, and shoe-tOes grew so long that
they were Obliged to be chained up to the
kree furs became more and more common
ly worn and tailors We'd with each other
in devising scallcpings and other '.lcwde
devices for the hens Of garments, in def
ance of pains, and penalties. In our own
day, have net pulpit, press, and stage con-
Gcmned and ridiculed most widely spread
and sweeping symbol of allegiance to this
pOtentate? mean 'crinoline. And
what effect have they produced? Is it not
wider than ever? The august and pleasant
lady, who was King Fashions humble
agent in expanding the skirts of our wives
and daughters, has no power to reduce
item. Like Frankstein. she will be fol-
lowed through life by the monster sic has
helped to create, till King Fashion strikes
him down. Need more be said to prove
the puissanee of his rule? And yet, after
all-good and loyal scrfs as we arc-we
know but little about our great lo:d and
raster. Where does King Fashion hold
his court? From whence are his proclama-
tiOns. his ukases, and his DEGREES prOmul-
gated? Can the address of the "Chancel
lerie, where his patents of nobility are
prepared, his outlawriss issued, his laws
enrolled, and his accommodations fulmi-
mated, be obtained for his applicant? Is
his majesty an autOcrat, or has he response
bic ministers? If so, who arc they, where
do they live, and have they any places to
give away? That there have been such F.
people, We all know. What an interesting
work The Lives of the Prime Ministers
of King Fashion" would be- Not many
of our eountrymen and women should we
find, after Sir Walter Raleigh had been
disposed of, until We come to the bad old
times, when George the Third was king,
and in which his gracelcss heir lied, and
drank, and rakcd himself into the title of
the first gentleman in Europe. Then We
shall find Nash the Beau holding the good
city of Bath as fef cf Hing Fashion, and
ruling it despOtieally; forbidding gentle
men to wear their swords; debating at
what hour folks should dine and sleep;
leereeing who should dance together and
who should not; and remorsclessly limit
ng the height of the monstrous head Il
lrcsses which his female subjects delighted
10 wear. Then shall We hear of the Leau-
iful Mrs. Camac reigning as Queen Of
Hastings, and mixing daily with her icges
lpon the Stcyne, seated in an open carri-
lgc, drawn by six white horses, and follow
d by four outriders. Then shall we find I
ny Lord of Lord, (aftetward Duke of
lrcyle,) Lord Petersham, Colonel Carpen-
er, AIessrs. StrcfiDgton, Drummel, and
Reynolds. installed respectively as Grand
Viziers of the Sultan Fa: hion; and Lady
Charlotte Campbell, (afterward Lady c.
Bury, the authoress,) the Duchess of Dew d
nshire and Gordon, Lady Sarah Fame, and
.ady Jersey, (not the Prince Regents Lady
ersey,) in possession of the scale Of Office .
S his Prime Ministresses, each with a Il
owerful cabinet of her own. Whittier d
as the race of these great ones departed? 0
Where are our leaders and law-givers now? ="
1ho can tell? They had unlimited pow
rs from their sovereign, and ruled despOt-
ally. a
George the Fourth had scars upon his II
eek, which hc wished to conceal Being N
leader Of Fashion, lie twisted small Gu
lister round his neck, so as 60 cifectually nj
de them, and all the world followed suit he
I'd half-chokcd themselves to initiate him.
4 an evil hour he quar1ellcd with Brum-
el and to spite him; the Beau, who then y
llcd the roast, set the fashion of wearing &c
arrow ribbon ties. Shall we ever be led re
W the nose like this again? VIII tie b.
dies wear their waists under their aim
its. and tie men their eoat-collaIs up to
eir cars to please anybody? Having oV
sted the comfort Of loose, well cut cloth al
.G shall we consent 10 cram our bothSs &C