Cincinnati daily press. [volume] (Cincinnati [Ohio]) 1860-1862, 1860-12-29
DOestieks's Last New-yenr's CaIl-The
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Made our last call at Wilkens's-four
daughters and a mother. Strange effects Of
lobster r-salad nearly every young man who
came in had some fault to fad with some
body else's lobster salad IL seemed 10 have
made them all very thick in the speech, and
very thin in the legs. Young Tiddleboy
and friend came in. I. addressed Miss Phil
isia Wilkens somewhat after this style;
Good New-yIs Philus Melisty; don't look
at meat my friend he's been drinking
lobster. salad, but he's all sober--all sobe-
sore ! maam. Many happy lobsters-no,
returns mean, of course, Of this 'spicious
cayshun. Thank you mum. HoW's the old
woman, your father 2-that is, your father,
the old woman. s'm, very pleasant
W Gather out doors; wouldve brought you
Sol ne if I'd knowd you'd like half pint.
You 7 very g'delth mum"
Tia 'dleboy, now under the impression that
someb, 7dy had given him something TO drink,
picked up Miss Phili5tG's card-basket and
put il to his lips, and, having thus upset the
cards all ,Nver the floor, reproved his friend
Indignantly for spilling his lobster-salad in
peoples eye.v-
His friend, meanwhile, had been alter
nately wishing the piano stool happy. New
Years, end try ing TO shake hands with the
chandelier, and had at last seated hSmself ON
the center table, and was calling for = boot
Jack to put on his slippers with, They were
finally got out OF the way; but not until
Tiddleboy's friend, who had staggered
against the sofa, had. half pulled off his eoat
and offered TO fight That belligerent article
of furniture, if any l'ody'd maize ring Oh
the piano.
Then came Peggins and his friend. Peg
gins Immediately put sp. his umbrella to-
keep off the rain; excu sed himself on the
score of lohster-salad; was helped to re-
freshments; mixed his coffee with his
picked oysters stirred the compound with
his pen-knife, poured it o ut on sheet of
music, laid another sheet over it and tried to
bite piece out, under the Impression that it
was a sandwich When the mess he shus
made of his shirt-front had LNsen somewhat
cleared away, he noticed it for the first ticfe
and said he hoped Mrs. Wilkens would OK
cuse him if he put up his umbrella again
which he at once did.
And so ON for dozens; fellows alf snffering
from violent attacks of lobster-salsd, appar,
emily, for all complained of it; somaof them
tried to wipe their faces on the door-mat,
which they picked up in the hall, under the
conviction that it was a pocket-ksndker-
chief; some tried to drink out of the oyster
tureen, and muttered some thing incoheTent
about salad; one held up his plate before
him like looking-glass, and tried to comb
his hair with q pickle-fork; one brought his
new hat into the parlor with him, sat down
in it, and couldn't get out of it, till iswas
taken away in small pieces by Bridget at
whom he winked, and suggested little
more lobster, too; one marched up to al. oil
portrait of Mrs. Wilkens, held out his hand
kerchief and asked to have more sugar put
into his punch; another addressed the bronze
statue of Apollo as "waiter," and asked fSr
little more lobster-salad, and plate, by
which name he designated the sherry de-
canter, which he presented, bottom up.
And, in fact, nine out of ten, who called
after noon were in such condition of lob-
ster-salad that not single one could posi-
lively tell his head from a hay-mow; yet,
not one of them refused to drink, although
some of them had difficulty in finding the
way to their mouths-and their stomachs
were often times in state of revolution.