Columbia Democrat and Bloomsburg general advertiser. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1850-1866, 1860-04-28
A PERPLEXED BRIDEGROOM.


Some days since very rustic and mar
tistic couple, residents of Kentucky, near
the Tennessee line, concluded marriage to
be their destiny, and with this idea came
TO the Western Athens, dosirous of sacri.
icing themselves to Hymcn at the earliest
opportunity.
In due time the pair arrived in Cincin-
natl, and repairing to the Spencer House,
informed clerk Andrew Blum that they
were extremely intent on pcrpctrating mat
rimony, and that nothing could thwart
their purpose. Mr.. Blum, so far from
wishing to prevent their immolation, made
every effort to facilitate their design, and
so we'll did he succeed that in less than an
hour James and 'Jeminc' were welded
afirmly as lay in the capacity of clergy
man to bind them.
The clerk, after the ceremony had been
performed, believing that all new married
people ought to be as we'll accommodated
as possible gave them parlor and bed-
room on the third floor, and bade them
good evening about ten o'clock, not neg,
lecting to wish them every possible bliss.
The twain mcekly followed the servant
to the rooms, and were left alone there for
the night; the clerk thinking no more Of
them until about two o'clock, when, sitting
doing in an easy chair behind the counter
in the Office, he was reused by voice say
ing Look here, Mr.. Clerk, oh, Mr. Clerk,
i'd like to speak to you jist a minnit, do
now
Mr.. Blum opened his eyes, and bcheld
his rustic friend, hatess and coatlass, with
flushed face and dishcycled hair, and
such generally disarrangcd attire as indi-
Gated that he had been undergoing some
very violent exercise.
'Wcll, sir, of what benefit can be to
you"
why, why l didn't like to trouble you
and don't know how you fellers does
things in this big town but, but, but
But what my good friend, questioned
the clerk, anxious to free the ruralist from
confusion, each moment on the increase.
Why, why, you know we're married.
Jeuime and me-
'Oh, yes, and l wish you all manner Of
good fortune, my fine fellow
wal, 'spose you do but confound il
if can get the hang of things in this
darned place. May be I'm green I guess
I am sort o that way but by jingoes, you
do funny here
: Explain, if youplersc, my man, Wha
do you wish to say
well, we don't care, Jemime and me
| for little while but to roll round on tn,
n floor all night is develish hard, stranger
: l Il swear it is
Roll round on the floor, what do yol
: mean"
well, 1 'sposc it is what you call fash
A ion in big town; but by gumbo where VT
come from married people alters go tC
bed
, 'Havn't you been in bed? askek tn,
clerk, in great surprise
t why, how the devil We 60 to bed wher
there wercn.t no bed to go to? That's wha
we want the worst sort
My good fellow, there's bed in youl
room. Did you not see it in the chamber
, in the rear of the parlor?'
did you give us moran one room stran
ger? By jingoos, ] didn't know it. IT.
t all want-all right, old feller, and 81
, saying he ran up stairs, and before the
clerk could ascend to the chamber the bu
collicist was in bed, and replied to thu
t knock on the door 'All right now I've
5 found it--Jenimc ard mes satisfied ",
l don't want YOU; all right, all right. Goo
s. you, old follcr. Al rgbt--lust-rate,- -
God bless you; good night
Mr. Blum went chuckhng down to tht
Office at the idea that the unfortunate ru
r rali.t had passed four hours in his parlo,
e without even supposins there was bee
, chamber attached.
Poor simpleton; no wonder he was EN-
| barrassed and troubled-under the cir
C cumstances