The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1860-04-28
Gll!l,orous.
Popular Fallacies Overturned.
BY ONE OF THE AGGRlEyED.

III oNE w HE AUBREY Ell.
"a woman should always be neatly and
elegantly dressed she has no excuse for ap-
praring otherwise !"
Has not she sir2 What do you cal those
five little animals in pink aprons and pinkcr
cheeks, who hang around her from morn to
dewy eve!" What do YOU call the LADY.
who always wakes Just when he ought to he
asleep. and lifts up the full force of his s,na.l
lungs inst when he ought to keep still q
What do you call the soup, which must be
seasoned to grain Of pepper, and the pudding
which must be baked jph 50. or there will be
trouble among the lords Of creation? The
coat which must be mendcd the cravats
which need only a stitch the china that
must be washcd2 the carpets which must
be swept2 What shall call these very
respectable excuses for a little disiubiNc now
and then
a woman eadding abroad is enc of the
most diSagreeable sights i'll the world ; her
place is at home ~
We arc not 80 sure Of that, either not If
she wears pretty bonnet. and has cheeks
like the sunny side of peach. and ripe,
chcrry-kind OF lips. We've seen a great
many more disagrceable look ing things and
confess to weakness for bright eyes and
pretty hair. Undoubtedly her place is home,
but that's no rea son she is to shut herself up
there until she looks like celery stalk or Il
lump Of chalk. Who would buy the coal
and the calico-lhe mark citing ard the new
muSic-if woman is never to set her foot over,
the thrt Shold! The man who wrote that
hcresy never kept house, are know.
Woman should always he calm and
composed, like a peaceful landscape or a
seIcnely shining star. Her whole manner
should carry out the idea If rest and repoSe.'
All very well If the gentleman in charge OF
these 'sercly shining stars would allow
them to remain up among the clouds high
above all Sublunarv tolls and turmoils But
what is the lulnlnary to do when husband
brings home guest to dinner on Monday,
when the " wash is in high procedure when
an extra chicken has to be hroll,d. and the
best table cloth whsked on at three and u
quarter minutes notice Has our critic Il
right to complain. if his wife makes her an.
p,arance, with face redder than the picked
bccts. and manners decidedly furred
y woman should never, under any cir
cumslancrs whatcvrr, lose her temper 2"
Might as well tell the wind not to blow on
a March day. or the rain not to come down
in April 1t does them good to explode
occasionally. A woman. to be good foi any.
Thing must have as much spice and spark IL
IN her as bottle of Champagne and if the
cork comes out once in while. with a Dang
why, that don't deprrciae the value Of the
goods!
But let the men preach it don't amount
to anything after all. We hold them captive
by every one of their dlckey strings and Goa,
buitons--by the rents in their stockings and
the toothaches and headaches they want to
be nnrSed through! They cant do without
US, and all this good advice and assumed cir
Of hravado is only very natural chatting
under the invisible chains. On the whole
we think it is rather foolish to take any
notice at all of it. Talk away, gentlemen,
you won I hurt our feelings.