The Democratic press. (Eaton, Preble County, Ohio) 1860-1865, 1860-09-20

......Book-keepers who are behind IN their
accounts should partake freely of ketch-uP.
...... The chill which in married life forever
banishes the warmth of mutual l%ove-chil-
1ren.
......As a general rule, a fashionable beau,
a bow in the sky, can't make both ends
meet.
Don't locate yourself on the back of
a wild horse, unless you wan to become dis
......People who keep running accounts
usually discover they can't keep up with
them.
......It is only one hundred and sixty-seven
years since witches were hanged in New
England
What is most agreeable for a young
woman to give a man and for him to receiver
Her company.
......It is the work Of philosopher to be
every day subduing his passions and laying
aside his p~rejudices.
...... Whatever opinion may be entertained
of marriage, no one can doubt that any man
who weds is Mistaken.
......Lovers who embrace beautiful mis-
tresses must, of necessity, be intoxicated
they are on glorious busts,
1.-The thoroughly plebean phrase, put
ting on airs, is now more elegantly rendered,
assuming artistic ~atmospheres.
THE paying and the praying business
is not nearly so far removed as outward cir
cumstances would often indicate,
......A long suffering husband declares that
o woman is never more interesting than in
illness = when she is dead.
WHAT is the difference between @ con-
tinual falsifer and a person in a sound sleep2
The one still lies, and the other lies still.
......Couplet from Pope, for young wives
1.-THE soul uneasy and confined at home,
Rests and expatiates on a life to come
Wont that boa constructor bite me p
said q little boy to a Snowman. "Oh no, boy;
he never biter-he swallows his whites
whole"
......A young man, Who has recently taken
a wife, says he did not find it half so hard to
get married as he did afterward to get the
furniture.
1.-The first month of married life is sup
posed to be called the honeymoon, because
all the sweetness of married life is compress
ed into it.
......Prentice says he has heard of but one
old woman who kissed her COW, but he knows
of many thousand ones who have kissed very
great calves,
"....A popular author exclaims, what a
pity some quadrupeds can't talk" We are
rather disposed to say, what a pity that some
bipeds cam"
......It seems singular that scoundrels use
so many devices to raise the wind. We
should suppose they would be afraid it would
blow on them.
......"None but the brave deserve the fair
and they don't get them-It is fortunate
that, Virtue is its own reward" for it OBJ.
tains no other.
......Ifa man desires to live in such a
manner that his death will be greatly regret.
ted, he should use all ordinary means to 60
generally in debt.
......"Tm certain, wife, hat / am right and
that you are wrong "Tll bet my ears on it. "
Indeed, husband, you shouldn't carry bet
ting to such extreme lengths.
......An Arkansas traveller says that he
knew a young fellow down,South, who was SC
fond of a young woman that he rubbed off his
nose kissing her shadow on the wall.
......A ~heterodoxist, who has listened to q
great many sermons from clergymen of late,
expresses the opinion that b. D., after a
mans name. stands for devilish dull.
......A man in town addicted to running
in debt everywhere, assumes to be so sensi,
tive that whenever asked to pay bursts into
tears. He must be a weeping willow.
......An editor out west says-'If we have
offended any man in the short but brilliant
course of our public career, let him send us a
new hat and say nothing more about it"
......There is one advantage in being old,
and that is, you can 'loaf around the house
without being charged with l~aziness. We,
look forward to q good deal of enjoyment af
ter we have reached eighty.
.....Mr. Cowles, in his excellent history Of
plants, notices the virtue of hemp thus lacon.
ically
by this ~cordage, ships are guided, bells
are rung, and rogues are kept in awe"
lone John W. Jones, who had been
sent to prison for marrying two wives, ex-
cused himself by saying that when he had
one, she fought him, but when he had two,
they fought each other.
.....A friend Of ours says he never extrac.
ted so much sweetness from one spot, as he
did when he drew a pretty girl, weighing 225
pounds, from a bog hole in his father 5 pas.
ture, where he was hunting with her for birds
eggs.
1.-The spritly and-we must say-pretty
widow editress Of the Ashland Kentuckian,
in reply to a correspondent who asks her il
she wears hoops, exclaims:
"HoopS, indeed why, zoe don't wear any.
thing ebeI
MI . II