The Placer herald., 1860-02-18
From the San Francisco Overland Mail Letter.
American Snobocracy.

whether IN Churcn, Army, or Navy, whether
in divinity, law, or physic, so long as man
may acquire handle to his name. Even
the working classes, these unfortunate me-
chanics, whom everybody blarneys and every
lecturer, policeman, and spooney toasts, as
the Honest working men," have their titles,
rank and grade, not satisfied TO be appren-
lice, workman, boss, they are not content
with less than major, captain or Judge.
When the Federal Constitution was adopt.
b;lily shall be granted by the United States;"
and we'll it was so, else we should have been
overrun with a greasy nobility, made in re.
ward for party service; we should have earIs,
dukes and barons, kings, princes, and pom
,itls counts, knights and gentlemen, ad
nauseum. Peers of the realm would have
been created bv every administration as a re-
muneration for the dirty work of party
Every war would have converted its heroes
into titled sncbs From the revolution down
through the war of 1912, the Mexican war,
the expedition to Paraguay and the late gal
liant foray upon the Mormon Prophet Young,
all would have turned out their corps of
candidates for the house of Lords Each
State would of course in its sovereign capaci-
ty, issue letters patent of nobility, and thus
the "Whiskey Rebellion" of Massachusetts,
the notification of South Carolina Old
John Browns captuae of Virginia, and Gen.
Kibbe's war upon the Indians of California,
would have been immortaized in the page Of
history and the college of herradry those
magnificent noodles who are now destined
to 90 down to posteriy with the obscure
names of Brown, Jones and Smith. Only
think of it, "Wise Duke of Ossawattamie,"
or Uncle Billy Rogers and Col. Jarboe, con
verted into Lords "Nomme de Lack,' and
"Nomme Cult" If Magenta and Solferno
should give duca title to illustrate heroes,
why not Kansas, Harper's Ferry and Pitt
River.
Then again in diplomacy, how fruitful
sound Of noble name. Genral Scott at
British Columbia, would deserve an earldom
at least, and Sam Smith, for negotiating the
war debt at Washington should be made
Count Coupon" Stars would blaze on
every Democratic bosom, and garters bind
every Republican leg. Uncle Jimmy Gala.
ger in consolation for his defeat to the Leg
slature should have the ribbon Of the Legion
of Honor. On the tombs Of the dead and
the carriages of the living, in marble and in
undying paint on the plate and panel, arms
and quarternys of political nobility would
appear.
The wheelbarrow of the celt, the lager
cask of the Teuton should reflect in honor
of The insignia Of their political service.
In the absence of such opportunity for
noble name, the Yankees make the best of
the opportunity they have, and judges, es-
quires, generals, coionels, comnodores, and
revelends are thick as heas in Happy Valley,
so common have these appendages become,
that they have brought reproach on real titles
worn by honest merit.
The army has its rivals in every town and
a volunteer company of counter jumpers
who must back against a Virginia rall fence
to get in line, turn out corporals and ser
geans. who are iacourtesy called leutenants,
and leutenants who are er gratia, captains,
and captains who are majors, colonels and
generals
Generals Taylor, Scott, Wool or Harney,
who have won their rank in the van of fear
ful and bloody encounter, have no distinction
in name, above Generals Suffer, Carpenter,
Haven and Cobb, who have drawn cork
screw oftener than sword. Commodore
Stewart Of the Navy, and Commodore Van
derbit of Wall street, and Commodore Bob
Martin of the marine telegraph, are of equal
rank. Captains, who have been educated at
West Point, served through the campaigns
of Mexico are jostled by an hundred cap
tains of OK trains across the plains. Capt.
Ingraham, of the Navy, whose opened port
holes frowned defiance to Austria in defense
of American honor, Capt. Herndon who
died on the Central America. calmly as the
hero dieth, are no more captains than he
of the canal boat, or the skipper of a clam
schooner. The lawyer who from well earned
honors at the bar is called to the bench, is
Judge; so is the pettifogger who for his SER
vices as ward policeman, becomes ward
magistrate, and our learned bench, Judges
Field, Bald \ in and Cope, rank in title if not
in learning with Judges Ryan, Hastings and
Carman.
The physician who tolls at his profession
and masters the mysteries of the human
organization, is undistinguished from the
horse doctor and itinerant vendor of quack
medicaments, and there are mole Professors
of Spirtualism, Phrenology, and Clairvoy-
ance, than professors in learned institutions.
No title in rank is not travestied; our
President of the United States is entitled
"His ExceIlency," so was John Bigler. John
McDougal, John johnson, and John Weller
Statesmen like Webster, Clay, Calhoun, and
Benton, were called Honorable, so is Jasper
Babcock, and Messrs, Pate, Phelps, Tilton,
and Bob Rodgers brother Dan; and the
most mortifyng fact is, that title once Civ
en- always sticks. Witness, Hon. Nathan
Porter, Hon. John Cheney. and large class
of late Honorables scattered over California.
| Anoihar fact there is no discrimination or