New-York daily tribune. [volume] (New-York [N.Y.]) 1842-1866, 1860-05-25

The dandy officers OF the army In London were
one morning petrifed by the following portentous
order from the Horse Guards: "Oficers will here
"after appear upon parade without breeches;'
and the CONSERVATION was only abated when it was
decided, after careful construction Of the order,
that they might appear-in pantaloons! AuthOri-
ty is always over fond of debating in matters OF
raiment and of personal appearance. Everybody
will remember the high and mighty parsonage who
was so scandalized by the old apparel of young
Jean Paul Richter and whose remonstrances gave
rise to the celebrated "Clothes Controversy" and
pOssibly-wh0 0ws1-tO the far-famed SartOr
Resartus. certain Administration not many
years ago. in the very tempest, torrent, and as we
may say, whirlwind of its misfortunes, was all in
adequately supported by the gentleman who had
charge of the Navy Department, who regulated,
however, the wbiskers Ofthe midshipmen by noble
proclamation. When George III. found pedicular
horror IN his soup, he ordered everybody in the
Kitchen, chiei-coOk, pastry cook, turnspt, aud
scullion, to be shaved, head and chin. What dis
covery or apprehension has moved the mighty mind
of Postmaster Peck of Brooklyn, we do rot know;
but we are informed that all the letter carriers at
tached to his Office, having been gathered together
for the purpose have received orders incOntinenty
to shave their upper lips, under pain of dismissal
from Office; and we are further informed that let
tiers are now delivered by pOstmen in the smooth
est condition of beardless virtue. Only clump of
beard beginning just at the zygomatic arch"
will the post magisterial fupctiOnary permit. Not
hair more Mail matter is now, therefore, dis
tributed in Brooklyn with accuracy speed aud
honesty, by Smooth-lipped Mercuries. So much
reform in the POst-Office Department having been
attained, we may reasonably hope for weightier
improvements.
1t has, indeed, been suggested that the faithful
Peek, by this ant-capillary proceeding, has merely
desired to see all those who eat the Government
bread, expressing decent concern for the poor
old gentleman whose hand feeds them. In many
countries and ages it has been customary to 60
into mourning by going out Of hair. If such
motive, and no. scandalous and corrupt collision
with the BARRIERS of Brooklyn, stimulated Peck
who may have been, in the days of his youth and
Innocence, barber himsef-we cannot but ad.
mire his devotion, although we doubt his good
taste. Mr.. Buchanan was undoubtedly entitled to
some sign of sorrow and sympathy, and to some
pretty solid one too. Grape upon the left arm, we
cannot but feel, would have been ridiculously
inadequate expression Of concera; although Grape
upon both arms and both legs should have satisfied
the most faithful and affectionate Postmaster.
Considering, however, the condition of the Presi-
dent, we should have been willing to see Peck
going little deeper, to the extent, let us say, of
Grape upon the hat and black gloves upon the
hands. But Peck is Oriental ia his tastes and
the poor penDy-postmen may thank their stars
that be has not commanded them to wear sackcloth
shirts and to sit, during their leisure hours, in
ashes.
Ifthis explanation of this highly important trans
action cannot be received, we must cen east about
for another. Mr.. Peck may have had moral mo-
tive. Mr.. Peck may have cogtated upon the cor
rupting influence upon servant-maids of thrifty
moustache; and Mr.. Peck may have satisfied him
self that Mary cannot safely take in a letter
brought by a bearded postman. But what
ever may have compelled him to a course so
stern, we cannot but feel that the cause of
virtue is exceedingly indebted to Mr.. Peck.
The highly reprehensible practice of permitting
Nature who is a notorious blunderer, to have her
own way, has met with merted check. Nature
says beards" but Elegance, Virtue, and Pro-
priety say, {" razors !" and who can doubt which
is right! Boards may be picturesque; but is il
not notorious that their too assiduous and extern
siye cultivation leads directly to total depravity
Does not lather well laid on penetrate to the in.
most recesses of the heart and give snowy purity
to the character Is not a smooth chin symbol
cal of serene temper7 Does not stropping sug-
gest polish Look at our grandfathers they sa-
credly and sometimes sanguinely scraped them
selves with every rising sun, Offering honor thus
to beardless Apollo; and how virtucus they were !
Look at the increase of boards, and think of the
increase of crime Misery. has come with the
mutton-chop whisker and moral madness with the
nusiache.
Let US Illustrate! We bought at n street stall
the other day a lithographic presentment of the
Hon. James Buchanan. The dealer, informing us
that the little work of art was not to him of the
smallest value, would have compelled us to accept
II as gt, but we forced twopcnce into hand that
trembed with joy. That patriarchal portrait is
now before us. There is virtue in every line Of
that charming face. There is not hair upon
cheek, or chin, OF lip. The nobility, the purity,
aud the general oveliness which this smoothness
gives to the countenance are almost painful to
contemplate. AZ it beams upon us, its lips WELL
nigh move, and we might fancy them saying,
Here's virtue here's easy shaving Go thou and