The Shasta courier., 1860-09-29
A Crooked suck.

Sam. Slick. in his new series of papers on
matters and things in general, thus " venti-
latcs" the ways OF handsome Young women, and
expounds the moral philosophy of looking
glasses:
Ny sister Urann was as splendid critter rs
you ever see, Mt eighteen or twenty, rael corn
red, hearty-l0oking gall Well, she was un-
common dainty, and ilagny hard to please, and
she trtrd here and jlted there, untifshe kinder
overstood her market. A rose don't last tor
ever, that a fact. 1t is lovely when In the bud
or expandn' or in bloom, or even ful blown !:
but there Is II time for perfection and decay that
cant be postponed, no how you can ix ilt ilre
color will fade, or wash out in the summer
showers, and then it Groops with the weight of
its own beauty, and the wind will deprive it,
from time to time, of a leaf till its size and pro-
PARTON is dwinded 10 mere anatomy; if not
pucked at the right time, its never gathered at
all. There 1t hangs pinin' on the parent stock
while younger, and tresher, and more attractive
ones are chosen by the fellers, to put into their
buzzums, i'll preference to it, that in It's day vas
far sweeter and lovelier than any ofthem. That
was just the case with " Rainy" She woke up
one line morning after the marriage of her
youngest niece, and found she WAS an OLD maid
and no mistake Her vanity and her glass had
been decevin' her for ever so long, without her
knowing it, and maxim her believe that some
false curs she wore looked so natural no soul
could tell they werert her own and the little
artificial color she gave her cheek with a cam.
els hair brush was more delicate and more love-
y than the glow of youth, and that the dentist
had improved mouth that had always bean
unrivaled.
We'll, TO my mind looking glasses are the.
greatest enemies ladies have; they ought to be
broken to everlastin' smash. 1t isn't that they
are false, tor they amt; they will reflect the
truth if they are allowed. But, unfortunately,
truth never looks into them. When a woman
consulls her glass she wishes to be pleased, she
wauts to be hattered, and put on good terms
with herself, 50 she treats it as she woui her
lover she goes up TO it all smiles looking as
amhbe and beautiful As she can. She assumes
the most winning airs; she gazes at the image,
with all the affection she can call up her eyes
beam with intelligence and with love, and her
lips appear all woman could wish or man CO.
vet. Well, in course the mirror gives back that
false face to its owner rs it receives it /; it amt
therefore, to blame for being unfaithiu ; but as
ladies can't use it without dece,ing of them
Selves why, total abstinence from it would be
better. Now, people may deceive themselves if
they have mind to, but tney cant 90 on for
ever. Time will tell tales. Whatever year a
gal is born in, she has contemporaries when
she looks ut them and sees that they are agong
or the worst for wear, she tries to recall the days
OF her youth, and finds that they are lost in the
distance; aud when she sees her schooltellows
and playmttes married, and parents themselves,
ali the glasses in the world fail at last, TO make
her believe she is still young.
Well, the marriage OF her niece started IRA
ma, as shadow does a skitlsh horse. She
left the deep waters where the big fish sport
themselves, an threw her line into the shallow
eddies where the munows are, and she hooked
little Tim Dooiy, tommy cod of fellow that
was only fit for bait for something bigger and
better. 1t WAS impossible TO look at the crittcr
without laughing. Poor thing, it WAS hard
work 10 fetch her up to the scratch at last; Il
actllly took three ministers aud .x bridesmaids
10 marry her. she felt she had made losin'
voyage in life, bat she was clear grit, and it
didn't tumble her might or morsel it only
made her more sorry than ever, as it she de-
fed all the world aud de>piSed all ii could say
! could see IA motion in her throat now and then,
rs If she bit IN her breath aud swallowed her
PRIZE down. She acllly held her head so high
when the minister SAID to DoOly +" Salute your
bride, that the critter looked up in despair, for
lie conldn'l reach her lips. SaiS |, out of dwell
lry, Stand the chair Tim Lord il yoa
had seen her eyes, how iuey flashed fire at me-
1t would have nstonshe YOU, | know. Age
hadn't quenched that, at any rate. To prevent
folks from noticing how understood he was she
Just bent down forward and kissed tim. Thinks
| 10 myself, ''od fellow, you have had all TIE
condesrensiun you VIII ever get out of her She
has stopped 10 marry you, and then stopped for
you to salute her; after this, look out for
squalls, for there is tempesiuous time atore
you" And SO it turned out; he soon learned
what it was to live in II house where the hen
crows.
Rainy" says to her one day. when she had
been givln' him BLOWN up, and was sendrl
him OFF on some arrtnd another. flor she
treated him, poor wretch as if he had been the
cause OF all her di>appointments, instead of the
plaist to heal them,) - Rainy" says !, Il al
ways told you you carried too stiff an upper lip
and that you would have to take crooked stick
at last"
Well,'' says she, "Eph, be amt the tallest
and richest husband in the world, but he is a
psorerfM sight better than none