Bedford inquirer. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1857-1884, 1860-03-23
A SKATERS EXPERIENCE.

n Ola lIkEEAtlg1tf Sf1s
One Of ,ha editors Of the Milwaukee .Nsws
--Pomeroy thus relstes his sspleasures Of
skating"
s'Right beneath one Of our windows, from
morn till midnight, We see youngsters and old
sters twisting their legs into oil coDceiTable
shapes. We can not pick up paper bat an
article on Skating meets the eye. Everybody
says it's fnn. and that's all everybody knows
about it, for we have tried it, last night.
about gas-ligbt time, after reading a glowing
description of life on skates, we prepared for
our first attempt, and sailed forth 10 join the
merry crowd. We had on pair of stoga
boots, trowser legs tucked inside, Roberts
tailed coat, and white hat. We went down or
the ice, and gave boy two shiliags in good
coin Of the realm for the use of bis implements.
We have confidence, even as great as Peters
faith. We, with the assistance Of friend,
fixed on the skates, and stood erect, like
harber's pole.
''Encnuraged at the sight Of some ladies on
The bridge looking at the skaters, We struck
out Il slant TO the right With the right foe,
slant TO the left with the left foot, and Just
then we something ON the ice, and stopped
over TO pick il up. On our feet agaiE--tNo
slents TO the right and one to the left, accom-
panied with loss of confidence. Another
stride with the right foot, and we sat down
with fearful rapidity, with very little, If any
elegance! What set down il was-for we
maae dent 10 the ice not unlike a Connecti-
cut bntter-boBl Just then enc Of the ladies
remarked, oh, lock, Mary, that seller with tim
white hat amt got his skates the right place.
Ditto, thought We. just then ragged little
inlp sang out, as he passed US, Hello, old tim
Der legs 2 and We arose suddenly, and put af-
ter him. Three slides 10 the right, two to the
Isst, and away vent our legs-ons' to the east,
s2G sfie csg1rz Nesf. causing an iEats5tss Issuro
10 our pants, ahd another picture of a butter
Tray II the cold--oh, hoU cetd-ise Then
the iadJ-we know she was oue BY the remark
she made--agaln spoke, and said, <0h, look,
Mary, that chap has sat down on his handker-
chief, to keep from taking cold ~ We rose
about as graceful saw horse, when Mary
saId, 'Guess 'taint handkerchief, jane and
Mary was right. 1t wasn't hsndkerehief-
not bit OF It Just then friend came
aleng, and proffered US bis coat tail as sstead-
ler., We accepted the continuation of his
garment. and up the river We went about ten
rocs, when shy to the right by the leader
caused as, the weel horse, to shoot off on
tangeui, heels up: But the ice ~ pery cold
this season
eve tried 1t again. a glde one way,
glide and half the other, when siohack' cane
our bump of PhlioprogenitivcRess on the ice,
and We saw million of stars dancing rouns
our eyes, like troup of ballet giIls at Toe
Bowery Theater. How that shock went throuct
our system, and mp and down our spinal coluna!
Tightening couldn't lave eorkscYewed it down
creased sapling with greater speed and nlqre
exhilarating effect. Boarding-house butter ueI
a warranty deed could not have struck stroBq-
er than we did-aad dozen ladies locking
US, and our 'fssured' pants
'Hello, old coek!' sang out that ragged ina
again, and We there helpless. Soon we got NJ
and made another trial with better Success
Perhaps We had skated 10 our peculiar style,
fifteen feet, when laundering chap came up
behind, aud We sat down with our tired head,
plilowed III his lap, and he sweared at us, when
1t was all his own fault Ilow cold the ice
was there, 800 Every spot where we ma6e
our debut on the Iee--oh, how cold it was -
Our bear skn drawers were no protection as
all We tried again, for the papers ell say
it's fun, and down came our Ruman -Irecian
ncse ON the cold jnlep material, and the little
drops of crimson ran down our shirt bosom.
and on TO the cold lee. Once more we tried
skating, made for the shore, sat down, ana
counted damages.
"Two shillings In cash thrown away Seven
lateral and one sfronterap bumps on the ice.
One Immense assure n as handsome pair OF
ten dollar eassimsres as man ever pat his legs
10. One rupture in the knee, extending to the
bone Four buttons from our vest, a sfrag-
mented' watch crystal, and the back ache, big
enough to divide among the children of Israel.
IL you catch us or the smooth, CLASSY, chilly,
freezing, Ireacherous, deceitful, slippery, and
slip-uppery Ice again, you'll know it Ii any
oae ever hears OF our skating again, they will
please draw on US at sight for the bivalyes and
accompanying documents We have got through
skating. It's humbug. Its Yegation of
spirit, of business. OF fesh and tearer Of
trowsers It's a head-bumping, back-aching,
leg-wearing, dangerous institution, and we warn
people against skating We triedit, and shan't
be able to walk for month. Skating clubs
are hanbug, and all the rascaily youngsters
wish to get the ladies at ii, is that they may
see if they too, don't say The ice Is dreadful
eoldt us nothing to us, but The ladies' viii
do we'll TO let skates alone, unless they are
younger and more elastic than we,are. Oh,
how cold the ice is--soe can feel 1t get ~
The Height of Goolness---the top of Mont