Muscatine weekly journal. [volume] (Muscatine, Iowa) 185?-1890, 1860-02-17

Jews on skating, and then sgain per- X
APPS be can Il is the best pen and ink '
ortrait Of skating that We have seen:
Right beneath one Of our windows,
rom morn until midnight, We see
Youngsters and oldsters twisting their
egs into all conceivable shapes. We
'annot pick up paper but an article
N skating meets our eye. Everybody |
ays it's fur, and that's all Everybody
Znows about it, for we have tried It'll
Last night, about gaslight time, after
glowing description Of life
IN skates, We prepared for our first at
tempt, and sailed forth to join the
merry crowd. We had on pair of
'toga boots, trousers legs tucked in
side, a Robert-tailed coat, and white |
hat. We went down on the ice, and
gave boy two shillngs in good coin |
OF the realm for the use of his imple-
ments. We have confidence, even as
great as Peters faith. We, with the
assistance of q friend, fixed on the
skates, and stood erect as q BARRIERS
pole. .@U sga. wa
Encouraged by the sight of some
ladies on the bridge looking at the ska
tiers, we struck out. A slant to the
right with the right foot-a slant to
the left with the left foot-and just
then We saw something on the ice, and
stopped over to pick it up On our feet
again-two slants to the right and one
to the left, accompanied with q loss of
confidence. Another stride with the
right foot, and We sat down with fear
ful rapidity, with very little, if any,
elegance What set down it was, for
we made a dent in the ice not unlike a
Connecticut butter bowl! just then,
one of the ladies remarked, "Oh! look
Mary, that Teller with the white hat
amt got his skeets on the right place."
Ditto thought We. Just then ragged
little devil sang out as he passed us,
''Hello, old timberlegs 20 and We rose
suddenly and put after him. Three
slides to the right, two to the left, and
away went our legs-one to the east,
and the other to the west, causing an
immense assure in our pants, and an
other picture of a butter tray in the
cold-Oh ho,O cold ice. Then the
lady-we know she was one by the re-
mark she made-again spoke and said,
"Oh look, Mary, that chap with the
white hat has sat down on his handker-
chief to keep from taking cold!" W.
rose about as graceful as saw-horse.
when Mary said, "Gusss faint hand
kerchief, Jane !" And Mary was
right-it wasn't a handkerchief-not q
bit of it Just then a friend came
along, and profered US his coat tail as
q s'steadier.'' We accepted the con-
tinuation of his garment, and up the
river we went about ten rods, when 9
shy to the right by the leader causea
us, the wheel horse, to scoot off on 8
tangent, hells up. But the ice is very
cold this season!
We tried it again. A glide one way,
glide and a half the other, when
"whack!' came our bump of philopro.
genitiveness on the ice, and we saw 9
million Of stars dancing around GU,
eyes, like ballet girls at the Bowsry
theatre. How that shock went through
our system, and up and down our spi-
nal column! Lightning couldn't have
cork-screwed it down creased sapling
with greater speed and more exhilera-
ting effect. Boarding house butter
nor warranty deed, could not have
struck stronger than We did-and q
dozen ladies looking at us, and oul
assured pants
"Hello, old cock - sang out that
ragged little imp again-and we there
helpless! Soon we got up and made
another trial, with better success. Per
haps we had skated, in our peculiar
style, fifteen feet, when a laundering
chap came up behind us, and we sat
down with our tired head pillowed in
his lap-and he swearing at us, when
it was all his own fault. How cold the
ice was there, too! Every spot where
we made our debut on the ice-oh
how cold it was! Our BEAR skin draw
ers were no protection at all. We tried
again, for the papers all say that it's
fun, and down came our Roman-Gre-
clan nose on the cold julip material,
and the little drops Of crimson ran down
eur shirt-bosom, and on the cold ice.
Once more we tried skating-made for
the shore-sat down and counted dam
ages.
Two shilliDgs in cash thrown away !;
seven lateral and one "frental'' bumps
on ice; one immen-e assure in as
handsome pair Of en-dollar cassi-
meres as man ever put his legs in; one
rupture in the knee, extending to the
bone four buttons from our vest, a
''fragmented'' watch crystal big enough
to divide among the children Of Israel.
If You catch us on the smooth, glossy,
freezing, treacherous, deceitful, slip
perry, and slip upry ice again, you'll
know it. If any one ever hears Of our
skating again, they will please draw on
US at a sight for the bivalves and &C
compsnying documents. We have got
through skating. It's a vexation-of-
spirit business bruiser of flesh and
tearer of trowsers, It's a head bump
ing, back aching, leg-wearing institu-
ton, and We warn people against ska
ting. We tried it, and shan't be able
to walk for month.
PET B1RDs.-Caged birds are the
source of much pleasure, and while they
give great happiness if they are kept