St. Charles City Republican intelligencer. [volume] (St. Charles City [Charles City], Iowa) 1857-1861, 1860-07-05

still and nOtional you never will sui
her, any more than she will pleas
you," Cousin Fannie wrote.
" She always does everything pre-
cisely as it should be done, at Just tn
right time, and keeps her room, whic
she has always preferred to hav
alone, when possible, in the yer
incest order so let me caution yo
to be careful how you indulge an
habit of carclcssncss,' wrote Ncli
Conway while Katie Roe added, a
her testimony, Lottic Merrill is s
proud that she never allows herself t
enjoy anything like the rest of us
lest she should compromise her digni
ty.'
"The girls say she has never hat
an Intimate friend since she came t,
the seminary, two years ago No
has she ever had word Of difficult,
with any one so you may judge how
independent she is, was the judymcn
Of another of these sclf-appointcd crit
les while still another gave, as The
opinion of those better acquainted
with Lottie than herself" She is ex
cccdingly cold hearted, and is never
reused to any kind Of feeling"
When | met Lottie | was surprised
to find Ecr more than year younger
than myself, with bit of awkward
ness still hanging about her from hcl
rapid growth. She evidently was not
like the ideal had dreaded, as | had
imagined the various means by which
she would make me feel myself an in
trudcr in her room. With most
thoughtful courtesy she arranged eve
rything for my convenience, insisting
upon my placing my books by the
plcasantcr window, and yielding tc
me much the larger portion of the lit
tie closet, because was unaccustomet
to being away from home. did no,
find her sportivc and merry, but she
reused my ambition to fully overtakc
my classmates, who were several
weeks in advance of me, kindly as.
sisting me in my dutics--a task for
which she was quite competent. |
was already beginning to love Lottic,
when a little incident occurred which
made us friends.
\ group Of girls were conversing
gayly in the common sitting-room,
when Nellie Otis brought forward 4
hcad-drcss for our admiration. 1t was
gaudy piece Of millinery, altogether
unsuitcL to her little face and figure
but it had elected some compliments
when Lottic rcmarkcd--
think it would be prctticr fol
you, little Nellie, if you should take
off that largest bow
Who asked for your opinion, Miss
Sheared Top? You had better wait
till your own head is dressed triae
better before you criticise other peo-
PIES things" was the pert reply and
Lottic walked quietly from the room.
You We're too bad, Nellie :" eX-
claimed half dozen voices.
80, pshaw !! " said Nellie, she
doesn't care would not have said
it to any one else, but she never cares.
Her mind is On higher thoughts in.
tent"
knew that Lottie was trinc sen
sltlvc concerning the loss of fine
head Of hair, and felt keenly the in
suit to one who had been so uniformly
kind to me 50 followed her to our
room, hoping my sympathy might
give her some comfort. found the
bolt Slipped, but in her haste Lottie
had not fairly shat the door, 50 it
merely showed me that she wished
to be alone, without hindcring my en-.
trance. | hcsitatcd before iutruding
upon her privacy, but the convuIsivc
sobs which | heard decided me.
was really frightened by Lottic's ap
pcarancc. She did not hear me, in
deed, | doubt if she could have heard
anything then. She was knecling by
the bedside, both hands clenchcd in
the clothes, as | first saw her, but she
gradually sank lower and lower, as
though crushed by an overpowering
weight, while sobs shook her frame
and occasional intcricctions, such as
80, Father, help me l was angry,
forgive me ! Help me to bear patient,
ly all that ought Make me better
y, make me lovablc !'-but made her
grief more manifest. AS her face
sank upon the carpet, her lips moving
In hail-auliblc prayer, stepped for
ward, and seating myself by her, lift
ed her head to my lap, as | said
Dear, dear Lottie, this must moi
be. You will make yourself sick !"
And who will care if am sick,
or if | die ?" said she bitterly.
90, Lottic, don't talk SO, you know
we would all love you if you would
only let u.s.
40, yes, there it is," and the sobs
came quicker 4" it is my fault-no.
body can love me, for | am not Iowa
BILE. I-plain looking, dressed with
out taste, awkward, always making
mal-a,propos speeches-no, nobody
can ever love me-
But | will, not weary you, my read
er, with further record of our con
versation. Before its close | under
stood Lottie Mcrrill's character better
than any had ever sought to do, Will,
she believed that | was really hcl
friend. Poor Lottie how sadly hat
she been misjudsed, from her earliest
childhood. Motherless, from her in
fancy, the aunt to whose care she had
been coniided had no sympathy with
her sensitive nature. Again and again
her manifestations of emotion were
Iridiculed, till she learned to conceal
all her deepest feelings. This very
conccalmcnt made them stronger still,
and many a carelessly uttered word
had ranked in her memory, inhicting
torture from which its author would
have shrunk. Thus had she come to
view herself as in reality more plain
looking than she was while her rich,
but illy-litting dresses, and the awk,
wardness, Of which she was conscious,
were IL constant source of dissatisfac-
ton to her. She was too proud to
wish for pity, therefore she assumed