Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1860-07-21
THE GATHERER.


"A Snatche up Oh lnconsluereu lTlues
We wouder If all the wheat at Wheat
land isn't old Buck wheat.
Letters, news papers, and young won en-
shosld be mailed.
A Southern paper speaks of its candi.
date as "a whale" We suppose he drinks
and spouts.
The Philadelphia Press says that Mr.
Bnchanan's energies are enlisted in lad
cause. We guess the cause is as good as
the energies.
The Wooster Republican accuses the
Washington Constitution of bootless
lies We should think the Constitution
lies we'll booted from the way they travel.
The Charleston Mercury talks of " a
brave wind How brave was it? Brave
enough to keep its courage up without
whistling9
The three candidates for the Governor.
ship Of Arkansas are Thomas Hubbard,
Richard II. Johnson, and Henry M. Rector
-" Tom, Dick, and Harry"
A quack advertisement is headed awe
challenge the country" Probably no one
will dare to accept the challenge lest the
quack might name his own pills as the
weapons"
The engraving Of Homes, Old Abe "
in Harper's Weekly does him scandalous
injustice. Though rather plain man, be
isn't SO MORALLY ugly as that. If he we're.
he might set up hardware store in Spring
field with the jack knives presented to hin
in his travels. =
Any one can hold the helm when the sea
is calm.
Cork screws have sunk more people
than cork Jackets will ever save.
Some Of Lincolns friends think that the
only way to Washington is by railroad.
Why is an egg like a colt? Because it
IS not lit for use until it is broken.
A young lawyer in Philadelphia wrote
to an old limb in Chicago. this lis there
an opening in your part ofthe country that
can get into?' Answer There is an
opening in my back yard, nboutthirty feet
deep, no curb around it. II it will suit,
come on"
"Boy,' said an i'll tempered old fellow
to noisy lad, " What are you holleriu'
for when go by?"
Humph,' returned the boy, what are
you going by for when | am holerin' ?"
When you see Son of Malta put his
open hand to his chin, and wave it, be
sure it is sign of distress Take him
round and give him peck Of corn in the
liquid State.
Mrs. Crawford says she wrote one line
in the song "Cathleen Mavourneen," for
the express purpose Of conlounding the
cockney warblers. who sang it thus:
The 'orn of the 'unter is card on the III.
Moore has laid the same trap in the
Wood pecker'
cart that is 'umble might 'ope for II ere.
And the Elephant confounds them the
other way:
helephant 'astily heats AT his hease,
Huader humbgageous humhrella trees.
LrNcoLN's INFLUENCE Saugamon coun.
ty, Illinois, in which Old Abe lives, form
er'y gave 500 Wing majority, while at the
late election it elected Democratic mem
bers Of the Legislature by about 400 mai.
During the great Senatorial contes, be-
tween Douglas and Old Abe, this county
was thoroughly " stamped BY these dis,
tingushed gentlemen and, afthe election,
Douglas not only carried the county by a
large majority, but also beat Lincoln in
the Ward. Precinct, and City in which he
lived and voted. The fact is, Douglas will
beat the "rail.splitter in Illinois SO bad
that his friends will not have courage to
hold corners inquest over the scattered
fragments of his remains. - E1chaaqe.