New-York daily tribune. [volume] (New-York [N.Y.]) 1842-1866, 1860-08-10


ways peTsevered Ia - ,., n
know the world says we who are of English lin
cage never look so low 20 find high toings.
This is not and was never, true OF me nor Oh my
blood. would were i. needful to find my ideal as
nv father before me- search through any SITUATION Jnst
as men dig down for Jewels; and 1 would have deived
to the usrmost profound for that which NOW possess
But he whom loved wss not 90 FAR ne was near me
by the permission Of that social law we have offended
The home of his family became established near my
own, He was oft actually beside me, and separated
only BY that word from me- nay he d right to touch
me bv permsion of this social lawwas charged tenn
porafy with the safety Of my life eyen-could speak
70 me, but respectfully He who was in
reality of kindred blood, and made for me-for me
whom they paid court to, not because OF tine instinct
of that blood but because OF the narrow thrift OF my
kinsmen. 49,
But enough of this. might have spared myself the
contempt that tpgles through my veins:
loved him. L =; that was all. He became
all did all said, my very hfe If say more may
en- for truly know no more, and shall never know
more than this.
The whole scope and measure of womans heart
and BRAIN and the whole purpose of her being Is love-
and her whole knowledge forces itsef into one inquiry
Am worthy of the love of him love Ana does NO
love me But have thought over all this social ma
ter and have asked myself if could have ioved nun
better if be had not been what he wasf ne had oeeh
a Member of Parliament Well they had oeeh pisny
in our family-there were, among the ress, uuI1o LUZ
con- and cousin Charles, and cousin Edward bukton'
and cousin Priscilla husbands 80, TOO fatner mao con
sented 10 be- and finally, Jackey himself was there
and filing Walpoes chair, or at least the cage OF ~;
And what WAS il but too palpable a sham we au
fnesy tbs-men and women-and we lived on it
meanly enjoying the empty honor and the empty
praises of those in truth below Us, because they 20
stupidity praised us. Oh, it was go ioorsu, IA al
this Member of Parliament pride l loved WI
liam rather because he was not Member OF farla,
mental least because it was not his aspiration. Ana
then if he had been an elder of the meeting he =
what think you Of that, + or my Lora Dl'no SHOP
he above him Are these the things to marry breath
ing woman to Does any one think hanson with
the Bishop would have ennobled me Tor the en-
braces of the elder
the above there not the slightest personal dsrespect
intended TO Mr. Pelham any other individual being
True men are not such. womans instincts repei
eucb forms of men. You may dress the real as meany
as an American slave, you may elaborate the AZURE
of the counterfeit to the antpodes of thsto pontca
robes-and the living soul of woman Will never fal
to distinguish the false from the true,
Why YOU yourself K - would have wept your
eyes out, am sure if could have Dell oerately nkea
nvs If to the eless purpose in which the vitality Of
| such beings ends.
He Is not one of these. He is man, E so, whom
| love- Do you wonder love him 1t is because he
| ia mana man, and not hollow make-Deileve.
| Ii is go with every true woman In her iove sue
recognizes distinction OF position; Inc gods OF ner
idolatry, like the statues OF the Greekswhether sanu
| ing in a rough warehouse or In the LouVre-remalh
We ask nothing more of them but themselves, 70 gaze
upon them to become intoxicated, aud to die with the
| love of them. Such seems to me the man 10 waom,
by the prooundest law OF my nature, yied my oehe
But i'll the world understand this Perhaps II il
the accident of my place and estate, that surrounding
me it'll what passes by the name OF power, pade me
see its emptiness-that, uniting me TO the highest
renrt sentative of a religion in the person OF
son who put it lightly Off made its meaningless CHAR
aeter apparentthat, teaching me TO strengthen IAN
lily distinction by the unconscious sacrifice OF myself 10
him in whose control had been somehow left, taught
me TO question if right and at last TO rise ABOVE
and throw off the chains OF unnatural compliance.
NV intercourse and secret correspondence with you
from my early girlhood taught you how Maynard,
how passionate was and those letters are 30 iuch
part of me that cannot write anything again as they
You have preserved them read them again,
even to the days that followed my unnatural blood-kn
unioD and ite Tesults
blood kin upion il was Intermarriage always.
There was the marriage of my husbands uncle john
with my amt Elizabeth, first cousins
Blood kin union OF my husbands father and mother
third cousins.
Intermarriage of my husbands uncle, Henry Birk.
beck, with Jane Quincy, third cousins.
Inermarrisge of my husbands father with Mary
Fowler cOAsn of his first wife.
Ia il strange that such unions should prove uDforu
nate Elizabeth Quincy and Jane Birkbeck only sur
yiyed their marriages year. Jane Quincy, my bus
bands MOTHER lived but four or five years OF marriage
life.
Il.
tina was the anomaly of father and daughter marrying
sister and brother.
. There was the marriage of my husbands cousin
Henry with Jane Birkbeck, his second cousin. =,
Then came the marriage OF Catharne Ourney Win
her first cousin, Edward Buxton.
Then Rachel with Thomas Buxton, another pair OF
first cousins.
his mart at the death of his aunt Fry, uncle Baxton
and his old Balls John Henry brought about hls mar
risge with me- both Of us the great grandchildren OF
the same pair-I, thoughtless girl then staying at
! Earlham and he nearly twice my age. But don
| blame them. Heaven knows their ignorance OF my
nature and the utter want Of congen Atty IN every
| thin z between his end me.
You know the ideal y heart and passions craVed,
and YOU know this reality circumstances aud family
| considerations brought me; and you know from the
| day of that marriage was silent Fer when body
and soul in ths a. last both gone, resolved W
bear all patiently and submissivey-to act and be the
lie TO the last. Indeed, years wore on, " became
almost my nature. / lost my inner light, as they say
| became woman TO look down from my social posi-
| tioI and dwell in the propreties forever.
There was then but one hope Tor me, ana tnst nope
was based upon the fact that could not write to you
The pure sinple instincts of my grlhood the uDgratl.
fe PASSIONS The real intelligence, fingered In me still
| dared not write TO you-to you, VINO knew me 80
| well dared not confess what my life had become.
Yet more-I still had faith in my nature, because
| fetI was silently degrading the GROWING act OF my
mothers life by my weak and unnatural su2missol.
had faith over all when first shrunk from the c)mpll-
win my VOW, anu Nnen PIaJou 10 it'iuu6 ~
might be in her image and not in mine: felt then the
| force Of nature 49,
Thus year after year passed away and thus should
have KGed and died; but saw him. heard his voice,
learned daily his thoughts revelled in his nature
Then | wrote to you again; my faith had become
living power; began new life.
Then came the fall as ever before. The influence OF
social restraint was too terrible, and sunk back as
did that day when we were children This last asser-
ton and denial of my nature brought me to the verge
of DEATH but it brought me to reason aso ana tnen