The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1860-06-13
VOLUME 2, NUMBER "a

PiOPhlNbOAt FotStA
! wish to see your partner.
ri have no partner sir.o
II beg your pardon, sir. Hope
you'll excuse the mistake"
ooh, no harm done, sir; bat what
made you think there was two of us ? .
I " Your sign-the two baboonslp
A litter from the ladies in the store
-wag bolts in double quick time
baboon " leaps the counter and takes
after him-ho go wag too far ahead
A PoETTc ADyERT1sEMENT.-W We
find the following advertisement in the
GAINESVILLE Courier:
"MY wife has left my bed and board,
For a few days, q few days,
She left them of her own accord,
When [ was out from home
| caution all to this amount,
Nowadays, n0W-a-dayS,
Don't trust her now on my account,
For she's never coming home.
April Sd, go. MARTIN BEKER.
The light Of the lamp was dying
away in the socket; the midnight
crock swung heavily aloft, and its
brazen tones sounded loudly on the
frozen air. 1t was the hour when
disembodied spirits walk, and when
murderers, like the stealthy wolf, prowl
for their prey. The lonely watcher
shuddered as he heard slight noise
at the door. Big drops of sweat
stood on his pale brow, the door open
ed and-in came a strange call
JACK, newly off a voyage, and ele-
waited with grog, is a queer animal.
One. Of this class was passenger, the
other day in a railroad carriage be-
tween Greenock and Port Glasgow, in
which was a clergyman. Jack not
at all ..serupulous in his phraseology,
and the clergyman, in a solemn tone,
said that the young man is on the
road to destruction. Well, it don't
matter much, I've got a return ticket. ,
No MAN knows what he can do till
he is fully resolved to do whatever he
can. When men have thought them
selves obliged to set about any bust
ness in good earnest, they have done
that which their Incidence made them
suppose impossible. There are several
abilities unknown to, the possessor,
which lie hid in the mind for want OF
an occasion to bring them forth.
SPARE MINUTES. Spare minutes
are the gold dust Of time, and Young
was writing true line when he taught,
sands make the mountains, moments
make the. year; - of all the portions Of
our life, the spare minutes are most
fruitful in good or evil. They are the
gaps through which temptations find
the easiest access to the garden of the
soul
SOMEBODY says that the young lady
should always ask the four following
questions before accepting the hand-oi
any young man:
Is he honorable ?
Is he kind of heart
Can he support me comfortably ?
Does he take the LAMBERTvILLE
Press, and pay for it in advance
A contemporary paper says: " If
you would keep your children in
health, give them plenty Of fresh air. /"
This is all well enough, but now-a-
days, children put on SO many airs OF
their own, that it is almost impossible
to give them fresh one every day.
~ NEVER complained of my condi-
tion," said the Persian Poet, Sadi,
but once, when my feet were bare,
and had no money to buy shoes !;
but then | met q man without feet,
and I became contented with my lot Y
a TEACHER of vocal music asked an
old lady if her grandson had an ear for
music? Wa'al," said the old lady,
" / rally don't know won't you take
a candle and look ~
AN Irish Judge said, when address
ing aprisoner "You are to be hang
ed, and I hope it viii prove warning
to you.