Pomeroy weekly telegraph. [volume] (Pomeroy, Meigs County, Ohio) 1860-1866, 1860-11-02
06lit and 0dlistlont.

hSEIt has been found by ocullsts
that when a person has only one eye, il
is invariably the left one,
@An old bachelor is trayelle,
upon life's railroad, who has entirely
failed to make the proper connections
b@"Guard," asked railroad passen
ger, ''are you running on time to-day9'
s.No, sir; we are running for cash.
nea. a writer asks if any Que can in.
form poor man the best way to start q
little narsery2 Certainly, Get mar.
ried,
ska.An Irish Judge said, when ad,
dressing prisoner, "You are to be
hanged, aud I hope it will prove a
warming to you.
nA- Censun is most effectull when
mixed with praise. So, when fault is
discovered, It is we'll to look up virtue
to bear It company.
BE- The more ladies practice walking
the more graceful they become in their
movements. Those acquire the best
carriage who don't ride in one.
nea-A Miss Gilmore was courted by
a man whose name was Hadducks, who
told her that he only wanted one gil
more to make him perfect fish.
sTom, what's monomany?'-
"Why, you see, Dick, when poor wo.
man steals it is called larceny; but when
it's rich un the jury says it's mono
many, and can't help it-that's it.
:. pea. Hon. Roger A. Pryor having said
that he would be the Brutus of Lincoln
if elected, Prentice remarks that, if il
comes TO stabbing, they have Cassius
in Kentucky who will be after Brutus
ra- The following is very ancient, and
very good, too;
aLuck varies with the men who hunt
nss For goltl--so LII explain:
Some find the ore tin creases,
-s.-@-Nhile others seek =Eein., u
HR-A pious old lady was asked why
she named her dog "Moreover?" =
Why" said. she, putting up her spec.
tacles to find the placelin the Bible, eli
is-a Bible name"-here, "Moreoyer, the
dog, came and licked his sores"
A short Lyric.
The following brief poetic effusion is
to be sung to the tune Of elbow the
winds of morning."
g. There was man in our town,
Ills name was Stcphen.A.,
lie searched for his mother
In Pennsyl-ya-ni-a.
RaEAn inyincible wit aud punstel
asked captain of craft, loaded with
boards, how lie managed to get dinner
on the passage. >
ssWhy," replied the skipper, awe al
ways cook aboard.
:.Cook board, do youp' rejoined the
wag: ''then | see you have been well
supplied with provisions this trip, at all
events.
nea- tNIother, said little Ned, one
morning after having fallen from his
bed, Mother, I think / know why ]
fell out of bed the other night was be-
cauae slept too near the place where
got in
Musing little while, as if in doubt
whether he had given the right expla.
nation, he said: 'sNo, that was not the
reason-it was because [ slept too neal
the place where / fell out!'' &
@=A man lately received twenty
lashes, well laid on, at the whipping,
post In an English town. The culprit
instead of believing when the constable
applied the lash, laughed immoderately
which made the angry officer lay on with
harder force. On giving him the TWEEN
tieth blowthe enraged officer could stand
it no longer.
7''sWen, here, mister said the offended
officer, "I've done my duty, and car
lick ye no more, but I'd just like to know
what it is that's SO funny
FUNNY roared the other, Hwhy its
excellent. You've got the wrong Smith
/ ain the man that was to be whipped
it's the other one. You'll have it all te
do over again. Ha! hat