The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1860-02-09
II - -. -. Aar.rtl..r1
OFFICIAL. but not by Authoriiy-"D
HoSnErLr. FEp. :. 1850

-.,eiv the evils , Let experience answer. Change
,ss Minister q Finance, and 7 pledge my honor that I
b,-sve the kingdom would be saved from an ap-
~,,.hfns crisis. The Sovereign Of the people j. he
bvel
Intend o. give you herein sketehes e Sandwich
r.,rI fafIstcc Nr the hscaI year 1853. You Will
-,.se pardon my egotsm herein. as il is my inteu-
=, 20 write o.. " what ! have seen in foreign
nj. having Travelled in Europe. Asia, Africa and
,-e-iel, and I am ,oler1bly well posted as TO the
,,r1,us tricks played upon traveller, by introducing
, rev lessons pIayel OF upon myself, 80 that, if there
q. ary ruteness in me, credit may be given TO the
,-sar nation by whose fundamentally / had my eye
teeth cit. When my travels, sights and facts in for
s,r hnIs are published, Cheing "a matter Of fact
nan it will appear under the title Of the g Man
with the Black Bag"
towards Of twenty-five years ago, which was be-
fore the great fire in Pearl street, New York, l crossed
the Atlantic ocean with British blood in my veins,
land every drop Of that blood was British,) and You
nav imagine the effect on a youthful mind OF often
singing in early lite the song Of " Rule Britannia
and most probably before I could read / could sing
for % Bri,Ons never, never, never, -hall be slaves -
N9twithsa lndiug, I had q great love in early life for
Yankee Doodle Dandy country. I was infatuated
with the ~dyenturcs and success Of John Jacob Aston
made purchases to che extent u my limited means
in the greatest toy shop Of England, and sailed from
Liverpool for New York
Two OF three iiems will show fully how I have got
the guage Of Assessors or gue-sers for the district Of
Honolulu, as we'll - some other districts On other
Islands, especially in the district Of Waimea, Hawaii,
where a Iit,is countryman Of my own (who / presume
has trave Ell in the States) has = guessed the price
Ofscabby sheep to be worth double the price of clean
sheep IN an adjoining district. I would remark,
kanaka assessors have also caught the infection Of
us
: On the amount assessed of all this . over guessing"
To continue ny narrative, I started upon an expe-
dftion IL the fur trade. and hai one to assist me.
who 7 Will term my man Friday. Once in going up
the country one Of my horses gave cut in the head
settlement. near the banks II the Delaware. / had
come across 30 many men who had - calculated and
.. guessed" that / began TO - calculate and guess"
too. Ny horse which bad given cut vas a jet black,
fine boxing animal. and I - guessed / had got al
$50 horse for so; bar when 1 got up the country I
found I hal guessed" wrong, for the &. pole evil
Gin my sound wind and Iiub horse, as WAS repre-
senteI.J became fully developed. 7 came across a
shrswd Yankee that lived in the neirhborhogd, who
gave the veriant young traveller an idea. He pro-
posel To take the horse as n wolf bait on shares OF
halves. He would fad the trap and essential oil to
be used ~ an attraction, and 80 70 halves in the
bounty. which, 10 the best " my recoIIection. WIS
$50. when 1 = guessed that it was better than sell
ing my horse for one-quarter the price 1t cost, and
aecef ted the oIer. The party had the entire man
agement. and when I returned that way, found he
hal received the bounty for two wolves heads, and
when I put in my claim, he eoolIy informed me I had
guessed" wrong. for lie had caught these wolves in
another trap.
hal one more turn with the same individual who
had stuppei me, rs il was termed, to a trade. lie
guessed how / would make n good trade with him
blind. 7 accepted the challenge, and found that l
came out Of the little end Of the horn. The fact was
he " guessed wrong, and 50 ! &" Erscalculated."
On another occasion, when ON my return to New
York, / took passage at Newburg in the De VII
Clinton steamer. which Was at the time l refer the
crack steamer on the Hudson River. There were u
great many passengers. even more than could be nc
eommcdated at the supper table, and when the bell
rang for supper [ had a tolerably good position at the
table, but every one appearing 80 much older than
myself. I gave way first to one. aud then another,
until I got 20 the end Of the table, and enabled every
one To- take a seat, and patiently waited with eight or
ten others until a vacancy took place. l availei
myself OF one, and determined to have a good old
fashioned American dollars worth. I was seated at
the table enjoying my coffee, when | had occasion to
sneeze; | turned my head with handkerchief in hand,
when a nimble waiter cleared the plate and half fin
ished cup Of coffee from the table. Now he ''guessei"
1 was one that sat down to the table in the first in
stance. but, like hundreds OF others that my expert
ence has taught me, - guessed wrong. You will
perceive I have good grounds for objection to
"guess"-wOrk.
/ End the Minister Of Finance put three questions
to Mr.. Pease, one Of the assessors or a guessers,' in
reference to his assessment Of a complaining British
subject I propose TO continue them, on behalf of
the Minister, aud make my deductions in accordance
with common sense
Qrssu0y-HoE many carriages had NH. w!
Qr-DI you call at bis residence according to section 492,
Girl Cole &c II tAe person declines 20 furnish a iit, SC, the
trnasFa x.hia heir reach, and the same SHAH be binding
aPan all persons interested"
Qu-noT dI you assertainf
ANs-Guessed it. OR W says he has threeS
er-H9F many horses had Nr- w
Qr,-D5i you 90 to his stable in his yard, ask hi, groom or
Any ofhis people employed on the PREMISES
~S%5sHSs-! ia y is ' ois VI. ..y. h. h.. four,
0r--HoT many dogs did you return'
as-D5I you inquire or look to see, did you even look over
III g'et
c--Has dill you aseertain'
Ass.-Gless-d it. CHe says If you hai booked over hi, fence
er-Hss dd you a.sert.in hi. personal property
or-Dd Mr. R, a partner Of 'he hm Of NJ L Co, return
Qr.-Dd Nr- T. return a, thu same time the amour. Of his
AN--Nes viz $500
QC-Dli you give yourselves 2 guess At II ,
AV--W- returned &C. NJ $4,000. |
Ou--uIs be paid -
q f-tast replies for the ssses-ors-He : mot such a holD
Qr-uus be an appeIs
Ays-I TOLL hha not. tr the Chief Justice hs already de-
etist The question.
a Frieaf-Esir him % Lord Palnerstou. I believe the
asa~-rs have Mt Travelled IN trceceJ
Qr-pil 1r :. 70 partner % the respectable firm % Il. s :.
return their ay.essurutss
AS---ias. Z
Qr-Dd VT 8. che r-siden. partner. return his personal
prTertv7
Ays-Ue returned $500 |
Gr--Dd y1u squeeze him /
Ays-Ws Qut down an extra 10000 /
G-uu-mln. you gGrs-- drt rIte 1r this government
Qr--Are you entitled IN 5 per cent on the over assessed
taxes /
ASs-C-rtsinIy We arc.
These are but n few samples Of the manner in