Daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1865, 1860-08-08

nlu"SI III ICluus Young lcmale by making her
Mrs. Smith. In short, toread the cEfusions
I OF tncSe young gentlemen, yOu would
imagine that the chief end of women was
to cook mans food and edo mn, his
clothes. and that her only reward was the
privilege of being legally authorized TO
attend to the particular puddings and
buttons of one of the sterncr sex: and. of
course, you would come to the conclu-
sion thnt they themselves were in-
mac"late and perfectly az .fuit to the
duties of housekeeping. What a mis-
take you would mAkel Those very men
who speak so e!oquently on the subject.
are really as ignorant as so many Goril-
las. Marketing, for instance, is-at least
in New York; mans province. 1t
ought to be the first part of n youths ed
uc0tlon. What man is tt to be the pro-
tectors of delicate woman, liable at amy.
moment to dyspepsia, until he can tell
tough beef from tender, or knows the ex-
net point at which potatoes become too
old and sProuty to be eutcu? Can any
one call himself ACCOMPLISHED until he
can choose a watermelon properly? Ger
tainly not. And yet, my dear, should
you tooIishly wed Ftz Jenkins, who can
write so feeling on woman's household Cu-
ties how would you suffer? Your break
Inst table would be rendered trightful by
tue odor OF stale eggs; you would find n
worm III the cabbAgci the mutton would
| be three-Yn9rters bone and One-uuartcr
griStIc; aud the coffee, alas would turn
out to be the vilcst compounds of beans
aud chicOlS. He weuId buy applcs of
different kinds to make sauce OF, and
bring home "squashy" tomatoes and
strawberries, which cling suspiciously to-
gether ut the bottom OF the basket, and
your mind would be pleasantly diverted
when you had company, by endeavoring
to decide whether the meat you had placed
before them was old veal or young beef.
Nothing conld ever teach him the differ
encG between soaked and smoked markcr-
eli and he would be possessed with the
idea that strong butter was the most
agreeable, and that cheese ornamenlcd
with blue spots was Il rare delicncy. The
young woman who sacrifices herself for
: such Il person can never expect to cniov
herself
Another fman's duties is the capobilitv
OF properly hooking up dress. Men may
object 10 this on the ground of want OF op-
pOrtunity to learn: bnt- surely they have ut
least the same facility for ucquirin" such
information rs we poor girls have for
learning to patch incXpressibles or mend
snspenders. y properly brought mp hus-
band is always able tUh0ok his wife's dress
or lace her gutter boots.
Next in order, perhaps, we may mention
bahy-tending. A wife who is always ma
King pnddingS must have husband who
can hold the babies meanwhile. andin this
accomplishment, | an? sorry to say, young
men are sadly deficient. Watch your suit.
or well. Give him your little ncicc or
:" 'aSS eaaS Sas 3s H Th6 Gdo ff doNBt IT, 6me
arm, or sings it over his shoulder head
downwards, or sticks it under his arm like
au umbrella. or trots it furiouslv, or rum
Piles it. little skirts under its arms, or loses
Oft its sack, or lets its cap slip over
its eyes, make q resolution that you'll
never have him, for he is not fit
to become the head OF IL family. On
the contrary, il he holds it properly, joun-
ces it gently, administers catnip at rcgu-
lar intervals, and never makes it cry, take
81 memorandum nf it, for he is properly
educated young man. In fact, the three
duties of man are marketing, dress hook
! ing and haby-tending; and he who neg
lccts these accomplishments for the study
| OF law, physic, or astronomy, the arts and
sciences, or music, deserves to lie under
our deep displeasnrc, aud to be Growncd
upon by all sensible women. myself in
tend to write Il thrilling continued story,
in which the heroine shall be fair Young
dnmscl, and the hero tall Young gentle
man, who has failed to attend TO the du-
ties aforesaid, ana who, in the last chap
ter, shall mcIodramatically Lcwail his folly
as lac sees the lady whom he adores de-
part from her nmptiaI tour with young
man who can market and hook dresses, and
whom she surprised one rainy evening
rocking his little sister, while he, the un-
fortunate rival, smoked cigars aud read
Shakespeare.