The Jeffersonian Democrat. [volume] (Chardon, Ohio) 1854-1865, 1860-02-10
"My Wife's Hen Speculation"
THE OTHER SIDE.

Ono morning, as "my wife" was reading
the Grocery mans bill, she exclaimed, in
most surprising tone: six dozen of eggs
in one week at thirty cents dozen; (she
drew very long breath at this point, |
followed suit comes to one dollar and eighty
cents q week T. Exactly" replied, rather
sharp and prompt.
I'D liko to know what wo arc coming to :"
inquired my better half
That's my sentiment" | remarked in n
low lonc, and raising my voice and spcakir |
to a Younger S-th, who was eating break
fast with me: "John SEQ what yer coming
to when yer get married y Ho smiled,
tried to, but it was very hard work
Il don't believe" resumed my wife, "but
what the Grocery. man tucks on cont or
two Just because he knows you CHATS me,
thought y won't say word. l don't see
whv eggs should be go high J. There was a
dead calm for two ninutes-my eyes wero
resting upon tho last boiled egg on the table
in profound meditation. just as l was
about TO remark that we had better got
along with less eggs. / caught glance OF
my wife's eyes, and concluded that it would
be we'll to let her do the talking. Il don't
sec why," she again resumed, that it should
cost 80 much to live: We ought to raise all
the eggs We want to use, ourselves"
Good business" l said, "that of raising
eggs" My wife continued
There's Mrs c., she has oil the eggs
sho wants, and some to sell. She keeps
hens, and her hack yard is no bigger than
ours. Now, less we keep hens, We can save
smiled, I smiled, in fact, tho whole family
even down to tho youngest s-th, smiled.
Good !" said l.
At this point my wife enlarged upon the
merits of Chittagongs, Shanghais, Burnham
Pootras, Chinas, Dunghills, and host OF
other different kinds of hens The subject
was tho onle one which was discussed ut our
meals for tho next week. Sho bought all
the different books relative to raising honi
> sbo could find in the book stores, and OF
tho seventh day the entiro family had ar
y attack of the "Hcn Fever" Even tn,
Youngest S--th's attack was so severe, tha
he rolled out of the cradle in attempting t
clap his arms and crow.
The building of q hen coop was decided
upon. My vito was the architect. 1t wa
10 built after all original design, and resemblet
q patent sausage suffer as much as hon
coop. Her next proceeding was, to son'
mo to Rocky Hill. among her agriculture
acquaintances, after peculiar breed OF hen
they were fully purchased and installed
~ III OUT coop. ouSoSesih'
t. That night thero was procession of hen
a. and chickens, headed by dozen giganti
roosters, that reached tho entire longth @
Main Street. They Of course, paid visi
to nv wifc-and of course. mado speec
and they responded by such n tremendou
growing and cacklng that it sounded as
Bedlam had broke loose. AS each pule
passed by my door, she mado most grace
fnl courtesy and dropped an Cgg-tb
ground was covered, and looked as if thor
'e' had been q snow storm of eggs. filled th
buttery, collar, garrett, closets, and ever
possible nook aud corner with eggs, and
was about to put two bushel basketful {
them in the paror under tho piano, stun
bled and upset the entire lot upon that IL
es, strument, breaking every single egs-tt
nd yellow liquid ran down through the keys
icy tho piano, thence on to tho Brussels cnrpe
all over my wife's dresses and furs-whiC
had been brought out of the closet to NAL
Sc; more room for eggs. That moment was or
nd of great dospar-clinchng both hands I'M
r my hair, l screamed out ono OF the wilde
and loudest shrieks that mortal ears ev,
heard.
Goodness I" shrieked my wife. jumpir
out of bed and landing in the middle of Il
room, "are you crazy
7 oi mo. guess not" said /. walking up al
collecting my scattered senses, 'only
10. attack of tho hen fever"
W. Since that memorable night, six mort
weeks have passed, during which time,
he 70 watched, fed and taken the best ca
her of those "Rock Hill chckings, and inste
les, of saving dollar a week, they have incres
ais, ed my expenses. Like certain bank stoc
yy,e Il have given up all hopes of dlyiden
u " had looked regularly every day into tn
hen. coop only to be disappointod--not
single egg had they seen fit TO lay. AS
holidays were comipg,I suggested to
!, wife, as the old rooster seemed to be
almost "useless member of the coop,
propriety of wringing his neck. "Mr. ST
said sho. Il want you to know that tf
rooster belongs to mo, and intend to ko
X him whether the hens lay or not! +
IL the FIST time in my life, the grooney
If monster took possession OF my breast
. vowed eternal vengeance upon the
rooster Shanghai rooster. "You cant
y pect them to lay this cold weather, s
- she, breaking the silence, 1t is SO cold.
they had dose of red pepper, it might
very tbom good :,
Ca Ca; ayes" said I, "red pepper might do th
""' good 2
"Yes," said I, cred pepper might do th