Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1860-08-09
aBit mn Anmur.

Pixies PEAK.-The rush TO Pixies is great,
and thousands arc going there only to be dis
appointed The ranch men on the route arc
bored Beyond endurance by questions. and
one at the Fremont Springs has adopted this
shrewd device to save trouble.
Don't ask any questions for PHYS sake, for
here are the answers:
| How far is it to Denver?
| Eighty-four miles. ..-t
How far is it to Cottonwood Springs2
Two miles and a half.
Can we get any wood there?
| Not d----n bit.
How do You like living there?
Well enough
Are you married?
No.
| Why don't you get wife7
| None of your d--n business
Do you sell whiskey?
Yes.
How much drink
| Fifteen cents.
A western paper chronicling the lamcns-
BILE occurrence Of staging attached to q
church being blown down, very fcelngly says:
we are happy to state that over twenty
persons were brought suddenly to the ground
safe, and one man Mr.. Wilkens, got his neck
broke. Mr.. w. was an estimablc young man
and the father of good mauy children, be-
sides large farm well stocked. He wasfa-
tally injured.
| An Irishman who Lad jmped into the wa
ter to save man from drowning, on receiv-
ing a sixpence from person as a reward for
his service, looked first at the sixpcnce and
then at him, and exclaimed:
We'll I'm over paid for the job
| A gentleman praisng the generosity of his
| friends, observed:
! 'IIe spends his money like water.
'Then of course he liqudates his debts
replied q wag.
Why is man climbing up to vesuivius
like an lrishman who wishes to kiss his sweet
heart?
Because he wants to get at the mouth of
the crathrf
The Bishop of Rciz thanked the bishop Of
Liseux for having consecrated him.
1t is for me, said the latter, TO thank you.
| was the highest bishop in France until YOU
| were elected
carpenter once sent his apprentice to
| make acertafn measurement: when he re-
turned he said it was two lengths of a saw,
hatchet handled, and little bit over
1t was about as long as 0 thick string, we
suppose.
1t is very easy thing for lovers to inter-
est each other; if they hesitate for sweet say
ings, they can Gil up the intervals with sweet
kisses.
A man isn't fit to be the controller of the
columns Of a newspaper unless he has a
stl ong spinal, column Of his own.
If you don't wish to fall in love, keep away
from the women. It Is impossible to deal ia
honey and not taste it.
The nan who wouldn't pay the printer is
now haunted by the ghost of an editors baby
SO says an exchange.
If you think it is an easy thing TO square
the circle, Just 60 and settle your wife's bill
for hoops.
Two men out west undertook TO see Which
could run the fastest. One was the sheriff,
and the other was the thief.
We know dandy who is so extremely fas-
tidious. that he is always measured for his
umbrella.
The man who gets along by borrowing is
on the highway to ruin. lie is somebody
clsc's property, riding asprained lively horse.
There are as good horses drawing in carts
as in coaches; and as good men are engaged
in humble employmcnts as in the highest.
A certain editor of our acquaintance, if We
may Judge from his habits, has n great spite
against our good mother Earth; he is often
down upon her.
The lash that man docs not object to be
ing laid on his shouldcr-Thc eyc-lash of q
pretty girl.