Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1860-04-04
RURAL LIFE In LOUISIANA.

Il A.
| SCENE IN COURT.
The next case, said the Judge, as he mas
| ticated the stump of an extinguishing cigar,
| sis the State agt. Smelter-indictment for as.
sault and battery"
The District Attorney ran his long bony fin
gers through his bushy hair, and remarked
| with confident swagger, sWe are ready to
| take that case up and proceed to trial.
| Court;-'Does anybody represent defendant
| Smelter?''
AS this question failed to draw forth an an.
swer, the Court continued:
| Mr.. Sheriff, bring in the prisoner
| A very muscular. dirty-faced man in seedy
| garments, arose to his feet, stalked heavily to-
wards the Judges desk, expectorated a small
rivuiet Of tobacco juice upon the floor, and, in
stentorian voice, bawled out, "Ere am,
Judge; what in the devil dye want with a fell
| ler?''
Court-Smelter, the grand inquest of the
parish has preferred an indictment against You
for assault and battery. Have you employed
| counsel?"
Smelter.-No, Judge, 1 hain't What tn
| DIS the use o. that' l acknowledge the
corn. 1 did give Peter a few sockdollagers
with these ERE, that's fact. (hoIding up his
clenched fists and I reckon it can be substan-
tiated.
COurt.Then you plead guilty, as charged
| in the Indictment do you?
| Swell, as for that, Judge, 1 don't see
| what's the use @ not pleadin' guilty-do you
Jest to have to pay a lawyer for telling lies fur
yer when everybody knows they'd be lies, too;
besides I'd reap rather
| CIV hat are your means, Smelter?
! S.-Why, Judge, L means to do what's right,
and nothin' shorter.
C.-You can't understand, Mr.. Smelter; the
Court wishes to know what is your pecuniary
| standing
SO, yes, 1 see. What, at the time L fit
| him
| C.-Yes.
| Swell, you see, Judge, my peculiar stand.
in was jest this, (bringiDg his left fist across
| his breast, advancing the other on a range
| with his eye, at the same time extending his
left foot besides, you see, my back WI s agin
| an old barrel, so he couldn't tack nv rare. as
Gen. jackson or Scott once said, I d'srsmem-
| Der now which
| C-Stop, Smelter, the Court wishes to know
if you have any money.
S.-Oh, money nary red Judge, 'cept the
two 'nsff what you owe me for ferriagc
C.-Then the judgment of this Court is, that
you be confined in the parish Jail for forty
eight hours, dating from Tomorrow morning.
| S-Then say, Judge, I'd like to know how
in the deuce you're gwine to git over the bayou
ef you sock me in the jug. l haint got nobody
to help pull the ferry fiat, and don't want
| nobody nuther.
Meandering in front of Bastilia is stream
L
| the angry current rushes with frightful velo-
city, "writhing and twisting like serpent in
| extreme agony" The only means of crossing
| 1T was In fiat, the property of Smelter, and
| the mode OF ferrying was by hauling on rope
stretched across the bayou and traversing
through standards fastened to the gunwales Of
the boat. The Judges clearinghouse was
situated on the opposite side of the stream, and
4 it so happened-perhaps by previous concert
among the citizens-that on this particular
| evening that gentleman and Mr.. Smelter were
the only occupants of the boat. AS they neared
the channel, the latter drew forth from leather
sheath at his girdle an old rusty knife, and
placing the blade across the rope, called out:
"I say, Judge, you kin swim can't yer?'
"No, Smelter; but why do you ask that ques-
tion?''
"Bekase, my jewlarky, I'm gwine to cut this
ere rope, and let the old crazy boat 60 to thun
cer which she's sure to do eff she strikes one o.
them snags, eff you don't remit that ar iudg-
nasnt the State got agin me in your Court to-
day."
"Why, Smelter," exclaimed the Judge, in
evident trepidation, you're deranged. The
Court can't possibly do that at present Such
procedure would be signally informal; in
fact, superextra judicial, and of no force or
validity. The Court. you observe, is not now
in the position of Court, but merely that of a
private individual; hence whatever course it
might pursue in the present exigency, would
avail you nought True, my friend, when the
Court is in line or function, it is then the
exponent of the law, and knows no other motto
than .h0t Jnstttta rMat c6l0m, and so long
as the judicial ermine is entwined around me-
the Court is determined to preserve it pure and
untarnished, or dye a martyr in the attempt.
But, Smelter, you are a good sort of fellow, and
I'll tell you what I'll do"
swell, Judge, let's have it quick. The boat
shan't bulge mare anuther inch till gifts my
just rights"
''It is this, Smelter. If you will land the
Court safely, it will pay you double ferriage in
addition to the sum it is already in default
"Can't begin to do it, Judge" and Mr..
| Smelter severed one strand of the rope Gre
init that ar judgment right here, in Chambers,
believe you call it, don't yer ? or I'll let 'er
rip, and have you a settin' astraddle of that
snag in one mint"
Hold, hold, Smelter, don't do that Put up
your knife and approach the court tomorrow
morning, and if you can show cause why the
judgment should be set aside, the court will
willingly give you hearing"
"Of course" said Smelter, Frightening up,
~ kin show cause; darn good cause, too-ain' t
got nobody to help me keep ferry, and if you
put Inc in the jug amt that stoppin' the public
highway, say; and more'n that, amt but lev
mind, as you say you'll fix it all right in the
mornin', I'll take You over"
The landing was safely effected, the Judge
stepped ashore and assembled the bank very de-
liberately, then turned suddenly, facing the
ferry-man, and said:
"Smelter, answer me this question, would
you have severed that rope?''
Mr.. S. placed the thumb of his left hand to
the tip Of his nose, made many singular gyra-
dons with his fingers, and answered:
Course not, Judge; I amt a darned fool
can't swim no more'n a stone"
While the Judge wheeled round with a coun-
tenance by no means indicative of amiability,
and pursued his way home.
The next morning the friends of Mr. Shelter
had the pleasure Of attending that gentleman 8
levee on the wrong side of the Jail bars.-N O.
TrMe Delta.