The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1860-04-04
A UTAH HAIR EN-.

was present at one of the drolles'
scenes ever saw in all my born days;
thought | should have died larfing. ]
lodged, when | was Mt Utah, with Teller
who came from Connecticut, one Simon
Drake. ! know'd him long afore Salt
Lake was ever heard OF, by long chalk,
and, SEEM that he and were old friends,
he took me in to stay with him, which
was great luck for tho Mormons, like the
Turks, don't like strangers to see INSIDE
of their herems. Well, Sim had five wives,
not counting the old one he brought along
with him from Hartford, whe was q hfok-
en-hearted-lookin@ critter, that seemed as
if she wouldn't long be an incumbrance
to him. The rest were all young, good
looking, rollicking hussies as you'd see
anywhere. AS far as | could observe,
they agreed among themseles uncommon
well; for neither Of them cared straw
about him, or anything else unless it was
the theater and the assembly rooms, of
which they talked to me for eve-lfst 'ng.-
Sim was SO oyerjoyed to sea one from his
native land, and being able t. Talk of old
times and old friends, that the whisky
(Which he drank like water, to drown
past recolections or pa nful companions,)
gave him return of delirium tremens,
which | knew he had had when he was
q young man. Well, one night he broke
out all of a sudden, growing like cock,
and Making motion as if be was flap
pin Of bis wing. He actilly fancied he
was one, and that his wives were hens,
and he would make dart at 'em to peck
them, and bit them like anything. He
ordered them to go to roost on the gar
den fence, put their heads under their
wings, and go to sleep; and the way he
hunted and worried them into one corner
and then into another, and bothered and
!orlnented them, wac aeautit to dog
in poultry yard. The poor old wife,
who had gone to bed early, hearin' the
noise, put her head in at the door to see
what was going on, and begged me, with
tearsin her eyes, to interfere and keep
him from doing mischief. So, saysI:
"Sim, my old cock, let you and | go
out first, and gen on the roost, and do
you crow your best, and the hens viii
soor follow"
So takes him into the garden, and,
as passed the water butt, | trips up his
heels and souses his head in, and held it
there as long rs dared, and then let it
up for him to breathe, and then in with
it again, and so on till | sobered him,
him, when took him into the house gave
him and opiate, and put him to bed. =
AFTER this we all separated, each to our
own kennel, md, just as | was droppin'
off to sleep, | heard light step Ga the
floor, and low voice, saying: "Are
you asleep, Mr.. Peabody!' No" says
I, Il amt; but what in natur' is tho mat
ter now? Has he broke out agin o.
s'No. Eph," said the speaker-and |
perceived it was the poor dear old lady
the is quiet now but / came to tell
you this is no. place for you. Those
young women will get you into trouble;
make an excuse in the morning, and
leave this house to morrow, and don't
enter it again, except in company with
the Senator" and she was off afore |
could thank her. Thinks ], nod is as
good as wink to blind n1r;e.l / was
thinkin' the same thing myself; edged
tools amt the safest thing in the world to
play with. In the mornin' Senator and
and Joined the caravan for California,
and set our hosses' heads towards San
Francisco-Sam s tek. 3r