Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1860-10-06
MY WIFE AND


a. 's0h, dear, I wish were richi"
This remark was extracted from my wife
(as an obstinate molar might be extracted by q
dentist) by the contemplation of a large open.
ing in the toe Of little Peters stocking, which
she had been trying in vain to devise some
mode of closing without destroying the syme-
try Of the garment, while pile of similar ar
ticles, Of various sizes and patterns, lay at her
elbow, as much in need of mending as an old
rake's habits. There they lay, seven pairs Of
little stockings, while their seven daily occu-
O pants were snugly snoozng in bed, forgetful of
the many weary stitches their little feet had
caused and all around, on tables and chairs,
was scattered prOmscuous assortment Of ju-
Venile aprons and dresses, jackets and breeches
each one bearing its owners mark, in the
shape of rips and rents.
% wish L were rich :" repeated my wife.
There was q strength and hesrtiness in the
tone and manner, which left no doubt of her
sincerity, and in an instant my mind went back
some twenty years, to the time when we had
been rich In our young love, rich in our mutual
dependence, and rich in the bright hopes
which not only gilded but fairly plated the fu-
ture all over with twenty carat plate adleast-
as together We looked down lifelong vista of
coming years fair flowers Of joy around our
feet, ripe fruits of happiness over our heads,
the richest Of all riches, cOntentment in our
hearts, and -four at only five dollars a barrel :
Almost twenty years ago those soft hazel eyes
that now beam with tender matronly love, first
told the story Of that love which those rosy lips
Ctheir bloom has not yet faded) confirmed; and
that fair round face, that has grown fairer and
rOunder year by year, frstIay upon my breast
in maiden trusfulness.
We did not fall in love nor walk into IL, nor
glide into il, but We took Ii by instinct, as
ducks take TO water and we were married with
about as definite an idea Of the modes and
means Of meeting our current expenses as
Iris Rhona IN haa Of tian olyn a,
or charcoal peddler has Of honesty.
There must be q special Providence which
watches over fools and young married people
In point Of worldly possession We commence ed
with nothing, and have had il ever since for,
what with the increased expense of living and
our success in adding to the census returns,
each year finds Us a. far from the possession of
q respectable competency as its predecessor.
Financially We have scrambled along in he'll
ter-skelter way, tumbling into puddles of debt
from time to time, with now and then q long
interval of exemption, to be followed by q new
tumble, and q new scramble for safety until
now, on this cold Saturday night in January,
my wife and sat cozily by our cheerful FIRE.
she with a load Of unmended and to-be-mended
stockings on her mind, and /, ostensibly read
ing, trying TO solve the great problem of the
election between supply and demand; at least
Sd far as to make my own weekly supplies
cover the weekly demands of wife, children,
grocer and landlord. And 80 sat, buried in
thought, now frightened by remembrances of
early happiness, and now darkened by shades
of unpaid January bills which load my desk,
making the demand for the great staple, money,
far exceeding the supply; thereby, according
to our best political economists, enhancing its
value.
Meantime my wife, still laboring under the
weight of the stockings said, for the third time
with increased fervor and q slight asperity, as
though demanding reply:
'Oh, dear. dear! wish / were rich"
Riches, my love, take to themselves wings
and ay away" replied, with the air Of enc
who had seen myriads Of tender young dollars
put on their tin feathers, become fully fedged
and soar away to unknown regions, like = fock
of wild geese, leaving not even the smell of
money behind
Well, if they do, they must 20 to roost
somewhere, and don't see why some Of them
can't settle here as we'll as elsewher said my
: wife, as she commenced on fresh stocking |;
and then added, with slight dash of seidity,
,s"There's no danger Of our riches flying awsy!''
mo, my dear, the wealth of loving hearts, of
, unstained conscienoes, and cOntented disposi-
I tions, is . permanent investment, and not at all
prone to erisl flights. These are only our true
,triches. With these you are richer than Cresus;
sswithout them, poor indeed
That's all very we'll, but that kind Of prop
srty don't constitute legal tender. You can t
nay the grocer with consciousness and dispo-
YII0nS, however pure hDQ cOnlente0 1ley
don,t 20 half so Tar as promise, for / We known
yoa 10 make them last year. But speaking
Of the grocer reminds me that thought saw
the bottom Of the -four barrel this morning :"
Now, 1 knew in that instant that there
wasn't -four enough in that barrel to make
Homeopathic biscuit, for 1 had hint of its
condition the day before, in the shape of an
now" expressed in a tone intended to indi-
cate that she had no more interest in the mat
ter than she had in the number Of statute
miles between the earth and the moon
IL is pleasant little fiction here, that a
delicate hint, relative to the consumptive state
of that important ingredient in domestic econ
omy, falls more lightly upon the ear Of the
mOneyless than the plain and simple, though
appalling sometimes, "The -four barrel is
! empty" and she will resort to all manner of
explanations for bringing the case to mind
rather than state it in plain English. In fact
: ! have sometimes thought Of tsaching her to
z ny IL in Spanish, and thus remove q little of
: sA Aharshness, but as she had no aptitude for
vely tongue, except her own, I have abandoned
! tkks idea
eo: ,sfhe purchase Of barrel Of four is an event
. Jour household economy not to be treated
n(htiy. IL requires preparation and consid-
Sefation. In the first place, a certain sum of
} alnoney is to be provided to meet the emer
tgency, for whatever latitude the grocer may
<1llow in minor matters, when you talk to him
.bsf aOur, you must produce the g,1ia pro quo,
1osr there Is no trade.
= The next point to be decided Is the selection
80 the ''brand" This leads to q friendly in
Yrchange between the heads of the home de-
4 fartnent, which always results in my being
= I6&mmissionsd to purchase the highest priced
'iNetiele in the market, and q caution to avoid
- attempts At false economy by investing in
- 1>heaper quality. In my younger days, 1
luuDe made purchase Of q barrel of second
lisqpality las the grocer called iD to see if my
wife would know the difference; and believe
that have had the biscuits that were made
from it thrown at me ever sine.
You should see my wife when she assists at
the opening of the new barrel, and its snowy
treasures are disclosed to her grateful gaze.
Smiles dimple her rosy cheeks, and pleasure
s sparkles in her eyes How tenderly she lifts
eaoh dipperful from its receptacle, examines il
.~ith the eye Of judge, and pronounces its
quality with the air Of an expert And what .
; glow Of housewifely satisfaction manties her
fair face, when the first baking confirms her
: Judgment! And then as, day BY day. she de-
seends deeper into its recesses, each dipperful,
: snowy though 1t be, leaves q shade upon her
brow, until at last the -four and the smiles and