New-York daily tribune. [volume] (New-York [N.Y.]) 1842-1866, 1860-08-10

| you DO loDger-1 am dying. ,ro,,d
NV God il seemed TO ne then as II my hear' "V"'N
| treak-as if shoud go mad
| moan of agony came TO his lips. 49, o.
He looked M at me; the intelligence of hs lace was
| gone; his eyes were dim; the despair 'i'' wac - ~
| Il looked ON him immovably; could say to hm; we
must part fore yer. could repeat again the pnrsses
social life: There can be no honorable recoen.on -
our loye-its open avowal will bring dfgrs'o " my
| husband and odinm upon my children. ,n
And how did he reply TO me Shall confess, e'pu
there in that hour of my strength, my utter
CDged for pleading WORD a., USe mined being but
| ruined in the acknowledgment and utter aoandoh Vi
my love; 81, ,bis. lint in that crisis he was true
10 himself and to me; and when he ceased speaking,
wss again strong. My head, my heart every instinct
Of nv being approved his words, bis looks his actions.
he had saved me- He as 1 knew him in that hour,
was nv strer 9Th; through him conquered myself.
was stiopg in that final trial. as woman only can be
stror g-through the sOul and heart OF tue man VINO
stands seadfast himself and TO her to the bitter end
| He said Even in this hour, when every nope ana
low of life have sunk away into eternal despair beneah
your words can be true TO my OF rights be-
Geye lie requires no sacrifice; believe ssif-sacrce
wro es not only her who, bndy in its belief as right
accepts it, but Ihose the more for whom IL Is acceP'eu'
IT. with your OF duty you were TO sever the re-
ton which binds you TO them, 1t could bring you no
happiness; its severance, az you feel, would orng az
last misery to both, for your happiness is mle !here
il rule no duty in life but tue pursuit OF happiness
Mine can alone be purchased at the cost Of your
| own and that ia mine We must part then forever
The utter despair of these words can never leave
| my heart.
There were many things he said in this last inter-
view which recall, but il matters not now should De
repeated Our lives express them more clearly IMAM
words. He epoke Of the false relation which he nad
gradually been led to assume and into the continuance
| of which our passion had held him day by day.
knew we'll he said, it should long ago have been
terminated; but knew not then, now the control
| t., hot hask apt mo nv i
believed fret that / might love you, and that you
might remain forever unconscious OF my love. Ana
20 l lived till this impossible. And then my NE
became one eterna delay of hope enduring all to this
las measure of despair 1t coud not be otherwise
believed from day TO day that yea would see clearly
as saw, the right, and 80 it might at last end IL Is
over now! My life is over My lot is hopeless, end
less misery. Iaccept it for your sake-for the memory
Then my life my very soul, met his in one long kiss
of agony, and we parted, as believed forever,
had conquered my life; this social law had achieved
it's triumph.
When my husband reached home I was strong to do
the last duty which my position imposed upon me L
knew well that cost what it would this must also be
done. | must live the life, to which / was bound,
| openly. went TO bin and told him of my love, OF
my resolution, and of our separation. Much passed
between at this horrible time; but all that was IN
ny heart to say was just these words love Wlnlsm.
Of the rest and of what followed. | have no clear
remem oIance.
only knew now that he must be gone-that life hope,
all gone though remained there still that hon
orable thing wife For me, it was determined that
/ should leave England for time. l was 10 travel.
change OF scene they prescribed for the OF the
| heart. IL was always the same-the same ignorance
of womans nature and its nece sslties. They would
| have me ell Joy Paris, Rome. They would substitute
the splencor Of the Vatican for some little flower that
might perehance come from his hand should remain
| at bone. ID seemed go much more to them.
| Absorbed in the contemplation of the ruins of my
life took no heed OF these arrangements Tor my de-
partuTe, but abandoned myself willing prey to des
pair.
When the full measure of my grief had exhausted
| From that moment l was myself. l had driven
| every hope every feeling from my heart. / had re
eeived from his lips the aft sacrifice man can offer to
the woman he lovesthe abnegaton of himself for her
happiness and declare before Heaven that 1t was my
resolve 10 do what thought right though it cost me
| my life for had nothing now 10 live for.
had long followed bhndly passion that brought
| me to the verge of social destruction. had re-
| nounced it.
had bGndly followed for years path of duty which
had degraded every instinct Of my nature TO Its last
measure OF degradation.
could feel no more-I reasoned.
| The meaning of the life was about to enter upon
was now distinctly before me. What it appeared to
me- well knew il was in very reality, for was now
freed from my love. had sacrificed all for duty L
could zee now what the blind obedience of that duty
| had led me. What was now knew.
| NV soul was clear from by pocrlsy-there was not
any lie upon it now ] had confessed all. My very
| life was laid open 70 my hearts core My love was
gone as vel by hs wll as nay own, forever ..a ,o
| chaste name of wife. had preserved the honor Of
my husband and the reputation Of his children. And
to do it, beneath his roof and about to SUB
NIT yself TO his embraces without love.
For these considerations of honor and reputation,
was about to lead voluntarily life Of prostitution, ds-
trguished from it only by the social fiction of name,
and fe, ny self more graded for all tbis honorable
hire than che no accepts her pary dole in the streets
| was moreover, about 10 fulhlfunchons from which
every fiber of my body shrunk with adherence | was
there TO give life TO offspring created in my own degra
dation in violation of my will and nature, the eiiete
offspring Of blood kin, children to die feeby before
their time, perhaps 10 come into the world they or
then children deformed, or dumb or blind, or mbecle
l. who perfect myself, aud formed 10 receive and
transmit the sacred treasure Of a life to be-
come voluntarily the matricde of the perfect
ceptions which should be mine.
Better in the agony of that thought, said better
| death than this-bet.er selfimnoatIon of body and
| SOUL il were far less a crime.
And then, shudderng with horror upon the brink to
which duty had led me- duplicated my soul inplor
iDgly for light asked myself the great question:
Does any law of God sanction, shall any law of man
| have the power 10 continue, the bond Of marriage
| where no love exists
And answered it, as my children, if they inherit
augh of my nature shall at last approve as the world
shall al last come TO understand.
| Thus was l at once and forever severed from all
| former relations and left alone in he world.
write these last words quietly, here at my writing
desk but that inquistion OF my brain, IL terrible
more terrible than the death had accepted in
| parting from him.
| But nv decision was made and was calm Their.
knew in that moment the rest of a fearful struggle
of the brain--the poor, weak brain Of woman-.hat
| swept the world though, beneath her feet.
There gief in that family, when became in
that decision my self and stood stranger among them
when the social fabric his children, their father false
pride conventional positionall mad overthrow; when
| NV nothers Wrongs had revenge and NV fathers