The Burlington weekly hawk-eye. [volume] (Burlington [Iowa]) 1860-1876, 1860-10-20
That night Ho,r.ll sta;d in Louisville.


I. -O
lMvEfEaATE PUNCfuALlrY.-A niece of D
Chalmefs was Visiting 1t his house. The docte
& was very punctual 40 to time for prayers an
J oreakfast-the niece incorrigble. Later by
niue each day, and oil excuses exhausted, Oh
: came down one morning, and met the doctor
3 stern look with very serious facs. oh, uucl,
!! have bad IN avid DREAM Have ycu ~
dreamed that you was dead sTLdeedr sYe,
J and saw you laid oat in your coffin. Il Va
! the day Of your burial, and the time appointe
, was twelve O'Clock. saw the lid screwed on
IL was just past the hour, when q slight SCUM,
seemed TO come from the colin. We listened
, closer, and q voice-it vas yours, uncle-eaid
} Its chappit twal, and ye'rs no liftin' YETI
J An amusing incident combined with a seriou
explosion occurred at the Western railroad en-
CINE house, in this city, early Monday morning
One Of the engineers had wickedly purloincd Il
oil barrel, which he intended purifying and MI
ing with cider: but how to get the thing fre<
from the taste and smell Of oil was job q diff
6cult as getting the cask itself. He took the ad
vice Of friend. however, and filed it with un
Stacked lime and water, which ingredients formed
an immediate aud powerful gas, causing the bar
rel to explode, and throwing the enormous enei
ncer some twenty feet in the air and landing him
astride OF locomotive smoke stack, with hoou
in each hand. Here was . sad dilemma. MI
engine was covered with lime, oil and dirty va.
ter, and must be ready for the days trip within
| an hour; he himself was besmeared with the Ii.
quid; and lastly, his cider barrel was only ct for
kindling wood. The two latter diiiculties how.
ever, were Of necessity overlooked, and the On.
CINE was only cleaned in season for its early Jour
ney by liberal application Of financial soap,
and judicious use Of the remaining hour
lSpring6eld Mass Republican.
| How Nh. TwBr CANE TO Br "D1AcoN.~-ror
great many years had Mr.. Twist borne the
title of deacon. Clergy and laity recognized it.,
and everybody called him Deacon. 'Good
morning, Deacon Twist" was common saluta-
| ton, and il seemed fitting that he should be
Deacon, because he was such good, quiet, ben
| evolent man.
"Your neighbor, Deacon Twist, seems to be
great favorite," one said who had newly moved
into the neighborhood, to an old settler; "what
church 10 he deacon OFF,
'Not Of any church" was the reply.
SWELL, what gives him his title, then!n the
stranger continued.
why, said the one questioned, "when they
were plastering the new church down here, he
and another Get up one cold night to watch the
fire, 30 that their work shouldn't freeze, and to
keep awake they played old sledge in the organ
loft, and he'a been called deacon to this day."
PooR JoKEs.-Nalt. treated man whom
you invited to lager" with you.
Those AeroOauts are quarrelsome people
They are continually failing out"
In legal lingo, Greenland may be called L. s.,
| the place of the zeal.
| Instruments Of Torture.-Pianos out of tune
| The finest of parallels is that Of the talents
for it is incompatible.
In Rome the cardinal" virtue is dissimula.
| ton. I. = ~ -:
i A.,sh = s: aiss,yro have cigar and ao'h.
Sweeping charge-The New York street
contract.
Resignation is rare grace among officials.
The hard tlmes o9s West Aaye made many peo-
He is esteemed an awkward fnancier whose
operations are ungainly. Boston Post.
Is the PRINCE PIucky We'll, he faced NiaHa.
n like man, but tsQuailed" on the prairies.--
tDay- Book.
Nh. SEwARD's ARAB HoRsKa-The larger ID
about Is hands high, dark bay, with black name
and tail, the latter long, fne and very thn small
head, large bright eyes, and large nostrils, but
none OF the fire and poetry--if we may be allow.
ed such 4 mis-. ure-about him that we are led to
expect in the stecd of the desert. In short, to
the uninitiated, .nllthlooded Arebisn, as llere
repressntcd.-and he 10 affirmed 70 be pure and
invaluable-=is ''hot much ofa shower" after al.
He is badly marked with white stripe on the
forehead, white fore and Hind Of feet, and dap
! Pile on the haak. But the beauties and perfec-
lions excite the knowing ones; Legs-and they
are superb-hips. shoD''.-- .ac q. breast and
nee. &C, are deemed perfect, and in all essen.
tial points he is pronounced, by those who ought
to know, the most splendid animal they have
ever seen. Hearing these enthns,astic posted
ones ak viii gTsAsly reIie1e the disappointment
eipersenced on irst seeing the stallion. This
one 10 six years old. The other 10 but two years
and ID much handsomer animal--some fourteen
hands high, and . very beautiful sorrel He
evinces more spirit than the other, and his
points are quite As loudly praised.
i WARS IN 4 NAnE.-A few days since the
wife Of one of our dry goods iebbers drought e
astoDish Der Ausbands " Her. exquisite taste il
selecting ! dregs. Appearing q the breakfas
YOU think this beauty, and only two shillings
, yard-frenchp' "Frenoh!" exclaimed the hus
band, .sthat 10 an American print, which / m
selling every day at 9sc"
n A somewhat similar scene transpired at tn
St. Nicholas Hotel, New York. A couple o
J distimy,se ladies appeared at the breakfast tabl
] with what they supposed to be beautiful Erencl
calico v;appeY% ~ mNuM atauhihtaace. II
| Condensation, remarked that he was astonishe'
at the improvement made in American prints Q
) late years, enforcing his remarks by calling tn
attention Of the two ladies to the quality Of thei
dresses "Oh! these are French !" they exclaimed
81 assure you, Mesdames," said the imperturabl
gentleman, "that your dresses are Manches:e
!. prints r. The la.;es did not faint--bAt their e
/ egant French priDts passed into the hands Of th
4 chambsrmaid. :
! Il ist this folly which compels the jobber I
!. afix French cards to bis American prints, On
4 keeps down The character Of American maAufa,
|. tures. America kossesses the means and skill
;. compete with foreign countries In the manufa
ture Of everything, II VIC except rich silks; an
!. | when our wires cease to blush In wearing n
d American fabric-because it is American--the
q will our manufactures assume the position the
d excellence dcservcs-lC Commercial Bule.i2.
/ ---O---- s"'
I'll War Fans HAUNT nv AUrocRAT.-Tt
3 Paris correspondent Of the London Times !
q ludes to the constant fear Of his life which Il
: Emperor 6f the French Eyee, Of tha tar19nd,
q During HE latc "trip TO his pet dosnions, erel
care Was taken 70 get Suspicious characterp o.
Of the way. One very curious means Of lnsu
y ing his safety was rcsorted tos II was that offo
ID cling owners Of houses within . certain distan'
% Of the imperial residence, 70 give up the key
their cellar 70 the police. These individua
= we're forcsd through the whole v;sit anl fpr son
70 wanted . bottle of wine; and on such occasloi
= I policeman vas sent with them 70 fetch It
e certain hcdsein the Place Tictoire, in Nice. Z
NJ ii Wit lssted, nobody knew fSSt precisele "
v reason; but the pronrietogs. for yacating u :
NJ ceived from the authorities the sum Of q, 900
a. che house l. . supposed. having been 10 con