Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1860-01-28
$3.50 A YEAR.
demeanor, as if he had not forty ora
tor, and hundred clown power in that
smart visage and on that ready tongue.
Fact, Fancy and Fun.


"A white glove often conceals dir
ty hand. has rasr ssgs
He that cannot forgive others,
breaks the bridge over which he HIM
self must pass. E II y
An old sailor, said that he suppos-
ed dancing girls wore their dresses at
halfmast, as mark of respect to de-
parted modesty. -.-- i u
An 1rishman fights before he rea-
sons; Scotchman reasons before he
fights; a Yankee is not particular-will
do either to suit his customers.
-''Father," said young four year
old, 81 think you're fool. "Why my
child ?" "'Cause you brought that ba-
by here when mother was sick"
= A man recently got married in
Kentucky one day and hung himself
the next. No doubt he wanted to try
all varieties of nooses to see which he
liked best.
Mrs. Polly Troon, of Brazoria, has
been convicted of sland ering her neigh
bors. A good many conyicted pot
trooaas Of the other sex are habishally
guilty Of the same offence III
-"Patrick," said apedestrian sswhich
is the road to Burlington % "Who
tould yez me name?'', "Why, I guess
ed it.'' "Then, be mbers, guess the
road to Burlington,' retorted the often
ded Hibernian.
-''You sot," exclaimed poor wo-
man to her husband, "you are always
at the tavern getting drunk with hot
punch, While | am at home, with moth
ing to ozdrink. but cold water" sCold,
you silly jade, why don't you warm it?''
"A robust countryman meeting a
physician, ran to hide himself behind a
wall. Being asked the cause, he re-
Piled: str
"It's so long since I've been sick, I
am ashamed to look doctor in the
face"
"A young lady recently remarked
that she could not understand sswhat
her brother Geo. Henry saw in the girls
that he liked them SO well that for her
part, she would not give the oompany
of one young man for that OF twenty
girls g 2
The following notice is posted at
a railway station
'sTravelers should be careful to de-
liver their baggage to proper persons,
as gentleman, few days since, en-
trusted his wife to stranger, and has
not heard of her Since"
"A gentleman who recently travelled
over certain railroad, which it might
excite jealousy to mention by name, de-
clared his opinion that it is the safest
road in the country, as the superintend.
ent keeps q boy running ahead of the
trains to drive off the calves and sheep!
That must be the La Crosse road.
"A lazy fop, standing by his broth
er's work bench, while the latter was
sharpening chisel, said "John, why
do you work for living? A fellow of
your talents should not degrade him.
self by manual labor. / mean to get
my living by my wits"
''Well, Frank, Tyou can work with
duller tools than [ can.''
"A raftsman who had drank little
/ too freely, fell from the raft on which he
was employed, and was nearly drown
ed, when his brother plunged in to his
rescue, seized him by the hair, and was
struggling with hirn to the shore. The
/ cf Io
/ strength nearly exhausted, he was
about to relinquish his hold, when the
despairing loafer, raising his head above
water, exclaimed: 'Hang on, Sam
hang on .--TU treot-Z suear I eiU., 20
/ These words proved sufficient stimula-
ting, and his brother saved his life.
"A Texas ranger says the following
is genuine article, and adds: at IS
an exact copy, without alteration of
either grammar or spelling." His own,
orthography might be improved, but it
appears well by contrast with the let
ter that he sends, having been written
by Texas lover to his mistress:
sDear shuk Houston Jun ten
Is fifty
If u will go with me next Oktober
the bal
| won't chu no NOR tQbaker at al
What if | is got a gusleg an kant
dams
Why that Will give the other bows
chans
yours till the bal kums of HANK.
pS exkuse my poitry but it makes
me fele gud when I-rite yr's