Union County star and Lewisburg chronicle. [volume] (Lewisburg, Pa.) 1859-1864, 1860-06-01
CensuSsing Extra.

tCensus Takers will soon be "bobbipe
around into everybody's house and barn,
to inquire about his wife and his babies,
their ages and color, bis real estate, his
horses and cattle, and a score of other
questions, which, under other circumstan-
ees' would be provocative of an application
Of boot They are necessarily al inquisi.
tive if not an impertineut set of persons,
out' being SO under the authority of "Uu-
Gle SAM" there is no remedy other than
to give them truthful and respectful re-
pIies-secrets, which they are no, to re-
veal, but to send on to Washington, to be
published in masses. But, as some Ed;-
tors want to extract fun from almost ev.
ery'hing, even the census-meu have pro-
voked their joking. For instance, "ou,
West" or "out East" or "out" some.
where, the following additional "Ques-
tions to be answered the Ceususer" are
graVely put forth as "semi- official'-
which means, We suppose, to be answered
or not, Just as anybody chooses. When
the "Censuser" has nothing else to ask,
aud the oman of the house" whether
gentleman or LADY, has plenty of time to
answer, the following may serve as speci.
men bricks of p. S. Questions for Union
couny]
Are you married or unmarried? If
Yea, how do you like it?
How many children have you, and do
they sufficiently resemble Pa or Ma?
Did you ever have the measles, and if
SO, bow manyI
Have you twin brother several wears
older than yourself?
Do you read the New Testament or the
Almanac most regularly?
What is your fighting weight?
Which do yau like best for light read
ing, "The Gun Maker of Moscow" by
Cobb, or the Presidents last Message by
J.B.y
How many times has your wife "wished
she was dead" and did you reciproca,e
the wish
Do you buy or beg your tobacco! and
how many cigars day?
Are you aware that modern whiskey is
used iu shooting galleries in preference to
pistols, aud that it shoots farthest :?
Were you aud your wife worth anything
when married and, if not, what proper
tion of her things we're your'n, and your
things bern?
Were you ever in jersey, or in the Pen.
i,entiary?
Are you troubled with biles, or blues?
How many empty bottles have you in
the house aud how many bed-bugs?
Are beans an article of regular Diet in
your family, aud if SO how does it go?
State whether you are blind, deaf, i'd
otic, or have the beaves or Bolts?
Which food doyou prefer, rum or mixed
drinks?
State how much pork, Impending Cri-
SIS, Dutch cheese, Popular Sovereignty,
standard poetry, Gayety papers, slave code,
catnip, red flannel, Constitution and un-
ion, old jerk, perfumery, coal oil, liberty,
hoop skirt, &c, have you on hand?
How many chickens have you, and are
they on foot or in the she'll Also how
many succedancums?
Is there black mark on your left arm?
How does your cider taste?
Have you read all the Buncombe Spec
ches delivered in Congress?
How many of your sons are named
John? George? or Jacob!
DO you take the STAR & CHRONICLE!
Where do you intend to move, when
the Union is dissolved?
How are you on the average?
Did you always vote the Tig Whicket?
How much money have you invested,
permanently but secretly, in lotteries and
gift enterprises! and how many gold dol
lars and brass jewels can you show for it?
Who do you think is SO good and SO
beautiful as you are!
Who will save the Union, this year
How much stock have you in the Spruce
Creek Railroad? ? and how often and how
big are the dividends?
How many men, not stockholders, do
you know who don't grumble at Bridge or
Turnpike tolls?
Who will be the next President a? and
who will beat Roush for Prothonotary
next time?
Is your fruit all blasted, and "going to
be but little graip," as usual? |
How much do you owe the Printers!
and if you don't repent and pay up, where
will you die when you go to!
What is the prospect for rain?
R@- Persons exposed to be "censussed"
will please write cut spread-eagle an
swer to all the above, and stick it in the
swallow-hole Of the barn, or on the house
chimney-top.
New Nursery Ballads for Good Democrats.