Pomeroy weekly telegraph. [volume] (Pomeroy, Meigs County, Ohio) 1860-1866, 1860-08-21
0ait and dolisdom.

sA- Wife (complainingly), ~ haven't
more than third of the bed"
Husband (triumphantly), That's all
the law allows you.
nea- Those people who turn up their
noses at the world, might do we'll to re-
fleet that it is as good world as they
we're ever in, and much better one than
they are likely ever to get into again.
aeA.An artist, showing his pictures to
customer, received the following sharp
retort: "Well, I don't think much of
thisp' said the customer, holding up the
picture before him. "Don't think much
Of It'll Why, that's very rare print
rcry rare print, indeed, sir" Rare! I've
no doubt it is rdre-it is certainly not
,ceN doae!'
ptAA young lady has discovered the
reason why married men, from the age
of thirty years and upward, are more or
less bald. They scratch the hair off in
dismay at their wives long milliner's S
bills! Yes, it is certain. You have all
observed that when gentleman is ex-
amining a little account, " he always
scratches his head, and the longer the
bill the harder he scratches.
n9- Matthews, the celebrated come
dian, stepped into an auction room one
night on his way home. ''Who bids
more?" called aloud the auctioneer. II
bid more," cried a voice from the far
end of the crowd. "And pray, sir, what
do you. bid?'' cried the auctioneer, in
tone of contempt. Il bid you good
night, said Matthews, and bolted. The
auction room was in roar that time.
a ConnubiaI Confab.
"Arrah, Pat, any why did marry ye
-jist tell me that? forts meself that's
had to kape ye ever blissed day that
Father O'Fiannigan sint me home to
yer house. g4
''Sweet jewel, replied Pat, not relish
ing the charge, Gan it's meself that hopes
may see the day you're widow, wa
ping over the cowld sod that kivers me
thin l will see how you get along
without me, honey!'
m-A young man becoming engaged
recently, was .desirous of presenting his
intended with ring appropriately in
scribed; but, being at loss what to have
engraved on-i it, called upon his father for
advice.
'.Well,'' said the old man, "put on,
when this you see, remember me- y
The young lady was much surprised,
few days after, at receiving beautiful
ring with this inscription:
& when this you sec, remember
I'm ancient times, that is, some
twenty years ago, shortly after the State
House at Indianapolis was built, it was
proposed that thermometer should be
got up for the hall, and at an expense
not exceeding three dollars. This mo-
-tion brought the distinguished member
from -- county to his feet, who ell
oquently inveighed against "spendin
the hard airnins of the people in that ar
way; and beside, Mr.. Speaker, if we had
that ther-t -thcrmicron, don't believe
'thar's one here who knows how to wind
the cussed thing up
nea-Old Governor Stuyvesant, some
years after the British took possession
of New York, appeared before the Brit
ish Governor (Cartaret) with a COM
plant that he was annoyed by men aad
boys bathing in front of his house in a
nude state Governor Carteret assured
him that it should be stopped, but hap
pening to recollect, said: 'sWhy, Cover
nor, your house is at some distance from
the river, and how can it incommode the
ladies of your familyf'' "Vy, you zee, !"
said old Peter, shaking his cane, 'smine
gals have got a pig spy-glass.
sr Once upon time, on plantation
in Kentucky, while little niger baby,
or picaninuy, was snoozing in its cradle,
a streak of lightning came down the ca
pacious chimney Of the cabin and killed
it. Old SAM. IAN aged negro, came rush
ing in from the storm, and after seeing
what had occurred, he let himself out as
follows, gazing intently at the deIunct
small darkey: 'sNow, Lord, you think
you hab done great things-jest gone
and killed poor little niger baby, what
amt werf two dollars aud half And
then, jumping up on his feet, almost
bursting with indignation, and with a
defiant tone, he yelled out: "S'pose you
try yourself on old Samt' 81