The Kenosha telegraph and tribune. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1859-1860, 1860-01-26
OMNEUM SCHSSORUM.

OMNEUM SCHSSORUM.
no 10 write or not to write-that's the question
".ilether 1t Is better to take up the pen
A-ter sleepy dinner of roast beef
~ MP H. scratch your pate, and feel for brains
IN In van' till the last hour to publish: g
vi se'ze the scissors manfully
Anu chp ana clip, and clip
The better thoughts of others a-..-
We pause for COUNSEL
Tom, hand us the scissors q ~.
-Getting misunderstanding by proxy
1t isn't always the raggedest man that il the
the shabbieSt 90 '-"' - INC
,oo LP 81 should be the key of day and the
~ Walters epitaph: He could not wait any
ionger-so he went. '
., In lotteries, one man draws prize. and two
thousand draw-a long breath -
The gentleman whose lips pressed ladv,s
snowy brow" did not catch cold.
do not believe one-half that you hear. bpt
make sure that you believe all you sav
Memory seldom fails when its Office is to
snow us the sepuIchre of our buried hopes
+, Punch says there are two things a man rare.
~ forgets--his first love and his first cigar.
The love of an honorable man is an HOMAGE
the most gifted woman may we'll feel ploud of.
The man who was hemmed in by q crowd has
oeen troubled with stitch in his side ever since.
-Never fear the man who threatens you with
0"ns0f' the silent enemy is the most dangerous
:, "A Mr. > Black declares for the dissolution of
'he ohlo l;,. Let him have a traitors reward:
l1B hung De the hssvens with Black" p I 81.
Why is a lawyer like a sswver9 Becansa
which ever way he moves, down must come tbe
dust. g. ~''fil. -. -Nn ooiie Tic
The young woman who was driven to dis
traction" now fears that she will have to.walk
back. ... .-. t.
why should lawyers be classed as members
OF the feminine gender3 Because they are fee
males.
In England, our common mnllein is cultiya.
ted in pots, and called the {" American Velvet
Plant -
1t is stated that the voluntary fund for the
relief OF John Browns family is likely TO reach
$4,000 Bro eli .s.5 g.. .all =
No woman is lady who wonld mortify
another. She's coarse efcourse and in fine can,
hoe De hhe. 2'.4.1ytIsG GJsE5s1 ts l.ta7f .r
"A sad acknowledging a certain neither
garment between four and five feet in diameter,
'petty-coat."
What is the difference between truth and
eggs? "Iruth crushed to earth will raise again, .
but eggs won't.
Adapt your means to your ends don't
waste your time lii trying to pick up live eel
with pair OF tongs. -..
-Corpulent persons, desiring to regain their
shape, should apply to some newspaper establish
ment for the Office of collector
lg -Relieye misfortune quickly, A man is like
an egg-the, longer he is kept in hot water the
harder he is when taken out. 7al si..' -. 81
Mr. Smith has electrified humanity by the
discovery that much of the sickness of New Or.
Leans is occasioned by bad health.
10 enjoy good eating keep good aaSured
ior an angry man can't tell whether he is eating
Dolleo cabbage or stewed umbrallas.
An hours industry will do more to bece
cheerf9!ness. suppress i'll hauor, and retrieve
your affairs, than months moaning.
To spin and weave, to knit and sew, was
once girls employment but now to dress and
catch beauis all she calls enjoyment.
"God gtces US love- Something to love
- He tends US; but when loves grown
10 ripe that on which it tEroye
Fails OF, and love is left alone" p
-" That's the heir apparent in Greece" said
oid Roger, lifting long line from his butter. s"Ii
IT'S female heir, remarked Jones, az wouldn't
have any but her" ......,
1t takes three editors to start paper in New
Orleans-one to get killed in duel one to die
with the yellow fever, and one to write an obtu
airy of the defunct two. --
"A sweet and tender young woman is loved
by both Christians and South Sea Islanders-bv
the former as something to marry, and by the
latter as something to eat
The local of the Philadelphia NORTH A,oeri.
'c@fl thinks 1.-THE day may yet GENE when men are
propelled by steam power the boilers being pac-
ed IN their eoat-tail pockets % ny 'A7 e.
| Poverty is The normal condition of man
neither banks, stocks; dividends, houses or rents
were dreamed of in Eden. Adam was happy and
never saw bank bill in his life.
Timothy says that the first time he went a
counting, he felt as if pink angel had hauled
MN down rainbow with piece of a chain
lightning smack into a pile of down.
"A convention of bloomer damsels is reported
to have resolved that they will wear short dresses
or nothing What an awful thing it would be
if they shouldn't wear the short dresses
A printerata dinner table being asked if he
would take some pudding, replied lowing to a
crowd of other matter we are unable to make
room for it," His "inside" was already full.
Local politics run high in the south A
| candidate for county clerk in Texas offered to
register marriages for nothing. His opponent
promised to do the same and throw a cradle in.
An exchange says that young man of its
acquaintance attributes his early badness to the
circumstance that the girls had pulled all the
hair out of his by pulling him into their bed room
| windows
-Blushing is said to be a sign that something
OF the angel is left in woman beautiful to the eve
bespeaking the inward purity of the hearts
! When woman ceases to blush she has lost the
greatest charm.
ira Connecticut editor, having got Into con-
troversy with q Contemporary, congratulated him
self that his head was safe from a donkey
heels. His contemporary astutely inferred from
this that he was unable d" to make both ends
meet"
"A man, not thousand miles off once asked
another who he liked best to hear preach.
why" said he, Il like to hear Mr.. B-best
! BECAUSE" said he, g / don't like to hear any
preaching, and he comes the nearest to nothing
of any that | ever heard
There is no feeling more dreadful than sug-
pense. The certainty of misfortune, no matter
how dreadful it may be, dOes'not wiring the heart
with half 50 keen an anguish. Doubt places the
tried brain upon the rack, and keeps it with a
succession of fearful images, each more terrible
than the proceeding one.
"A tipper who had load on, f" fetched up
against the side of house which had been new =
ly painted. Showing himself clear by vigorous
effort, he took glimpse at bis shoulder, another
at the house, third at his hands, and exclaimed:
swell, that is careless trick in whoever paint
ed that house, to leave it standing out all night
for people to run against"
Deeds arc greater than words. Deeds have