The Kenosha telegraph and tribune. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1859-1860, 1859-07-07
B r E VIII S .

Travellers on our railroads who use the sleep
ing cars, are certainly bed-ridden set.
What is the way to make a tall man short Z?
Ans.-To ask him to lend you a few dollars.
Why are ripe potatoes in the ground like
thieves Ans Because they ought to be TAX
en- up.
Among the advertisements in late London
paper, we read that 1.-TWO SISTERS want wash
ing"
What horrible creature! A bachelor says
he dislikes young married couples I" because
they are so apt to give themselves heirs ~
Bald-heade1 men take joke more easily. be-
cause they are not at the trouble Of getting it
through their hair"
MasonS in OhiO.-The number of affiliated,
Free and Accepted Masons' in Ohio, is esti-
mated at $4,000.
The editor who kissed his sweetheart, saving,
" Please exchange" is believed not to have ex.
ceeded the proper liberty of the press
If all the babies in the world were seated to-
gether, and spanked at the same time, how
many sugar plums would it take to quiet them?
In all my journey through life, l never found
a good dancer, first rate musician who WAS
remarkable for intellect, science or morals
A bride IL years Of age, and bridegroom 25
years OF age, got married in New Bedford re-
Gently. 1t was against her wishes, but at the
solicitations of hef mother.
man was recently strangled to death at
bingham, Mass, by a snake rising in his throat
Where 1t stuck fast. He had swallowed it when
it was small, while drinking.
A woman has recently been divorced from her
husband in Boston; the cause of complaint be-
ing that in the two years of their married life.
they had moved twenty times.
" Dawkter, dawkter," said an exquisite, the
other day, want you to tell me what l can
put into my head to make it right" 1t wants
nothing but brains" said the physician.
writer on ornithology inquiries what kind
Of eagles fly highest We don't know; bu t
unquestionably golden eagles generally fly fast
est.
The poet Rogers once observed to a lady how
desirable 1t was in any danger to have presence
OF mud Yes" she quickly replied, but
would rather have absence Of body.
american Tradesmen - Cooley Grattan. in
speaking of this class, says-"There is want
OF conscience Ill laying on high prices but great
honesty in accounts
a gent man asked a little boy in L ondon,
What occupation does yonr father pursue for
hvlng Y lie replied with simplicity" He
is dreadful accident maker, sir, for the news
papers"
Every dog in Massachusetts, who would have
the right to live, must be registered numbered
ana llcensed by the town clerk, and every dog
must wear collar with his owners name and
DIS own number registered on it.
Safer Ser.-Women are called the "softer
sex, because they are so easily humbugged.
Out OF one hundred girls, ninety-hve would
prefer ostentation to happiness-a dandy hus-
band to mechanic.
Il Young Single Lady-We have good au-
thorty for knowing thai the daughter of Enoch
was % years old when she was married If
this ought not to be balm TO the dropping spir
its OF sweet %, then we have no more to say
Poetry and Prose -''See, nurse !" exclaimed
papa, as smile irradiated the face of his infant,
IAN angel is whispering to it 20 mo, SIR" re-
phed the nurse, " it's only the wind on its little
stomach"
A member of the North Carolina Legislature
made decidedly good "h;" short time ago.
bill was pending which imposed a fine for
selling liquor to free Negroes to which he OBJ
Jected on the ground that such law would
make them more decent than the whites"
The latest dog story is of two dogs who fell
to fighting in q saw mill. In the course of the
tussle, one of the dogs went plump against a
saw III rapid motion, which cut him in two in
stanter. The hind legs ran away, but the fore
legs continued the fight, and whipped the other
dog.
Such IS War.-In the towns of Sardinia the
churches have generally been converted into
barracks, especially for the cavalry, TO shelter
the horses from the drenching rains. Going to
see the Cathedral of Casae, letter writer
found couple of hundred horses neighing in
the nave and aisles."
u The story of the eastern papers about a
man leaving $275,000 in the cars, while asleep,
and then having an exciting race after it, grew
out OF story in a western paper, of person
having such race for 81 900. But it turns
out, after all, that there was no money involved
IN the case-he had simply stepped out of car
) leaving his wife to pursue her journey withOu
him. The secret of his haste was he was afraid
she would get a divorce if she went through
the State Of Indiana one day ahead of him.