The prairie news. [volume] (Okolona, Miss.) 1851-1875, 1859-06-09
A KENTUCKY EGG.EATER.

A KENTUCKY EGG.EATER.
Among the prisoners ushered before the
Judge one morning, in Cincinnati Po-
lice court, was tall, robust, big-boned
Kentuckian, from the vicinity of Casey
Vile. He was charged with disorderly
conduct. The officer stated Battle-Ground
him slashing around" in an eating house
and arrested him to preserve the peace.
"What have you to say to this charged
asked the court.
"a might, that's sartin," replied the
prisoner. "You see, squire, I'm stran-
ger here, from way down in old Kahn
tuck, and haipt larned yer ways. Shall
tell you now how | was kotched ?"
:. We shall listen to you," remarked
theTJudge, who saw he had character
before him and was disposed to let him
have vent.
Il 60 FIVE that you're a trump re-
piled Kentock. But that's neithir here
nor thar. I'm to tell you how l was
kntched."
"That's it,"
"Wall, Squire, cum to town yester
day. ] 'spected not to stay long, so |
didn't go to marry tavern. got kind
o hungry tho so | made lunge for a
eating house. / sot down to the table
and / axed for dozen and half of eggs,
and the critter who waited on the custo-
mers, opened his eyes, grinned, an then
fetched 'em to me. They were good, but
l wanted little mixture. / called for
cold beafsteak-cold, Squire, kase its
agin my constitutional principles to ca:
meat hot. The fellow grinned and said
they han't got any. That kind riled
me, but kept my temper an ordered
another dozen ana half of eggs. The
chap snickered an said, we amt got
no more eggs, old Kentuck you've eat
'em all up That set me bilin, and /
just squashed things for while. That's
the hull on it, Squire, as sure as am
from ole Kaintuck."
"Then you considered yourself aggri-
waited by the last remark ofthe waiter T.
/ "Just so.'
Chow do you take your eggs-boiled
or fried ?"
Fried-all the time fried, Squire
Billed eggs, specially when they are hard,
don't sot we'll on feller's stomach"
"Can you eat three dozen Of eggs at
one meal 2"
"Jist like a knife, an throw the shells
in. All ak is to have them fried"
You must be fond of eggs r.
"Now hush Squire; you're techin me
on tender pint
Is it your practice TO squash things
when You get riled r.
Not commonly. I'll tell you what
it are, Squire, this is the first time in my
immortal days that l was ever locked in.
Let me out, an I'm off for old Kahn
tuck like streak"
You are, eh r.
"Sartain as I'm from old Kaintuck."
And you'll eat no more of our eggsl"
Dam the. one, Squire"
"Then you can take your hat and
start"
You're hoss,-old Kaintuck forev-
er," yelled the Kentucky egg.eater as he
| struted out of the court room with the
air of a prince, and amidst the hearty
laughter Of all who had witnessed his
| trial.
ANECDoTE OF M'DoNALD CLARKE,
THE MAD PoET-Everybody remembers
M'Donald Clarke, who was we'll known
in New York, few years since, as the
Mad Poet During the last years Of
his life, Clarke was made free Of the As
tor House table, and often:imes this er-
rant man of genius could he seen accep-
| ting it's hospitalities, when other doors
were closed on his fallen fortunes. Ev-
cry one knew Clarke by sight; and ono
day while quietly taking his dinner, two
travellers, seating themselves opposite,
commenced conversation intended for
the ears of Clarke. One said:
"Well have been in New York two
months, and have seen all ! wish TO see
with one exception"
"Ah!' said the other, "what is that2''
M'Donald Clarke, the great poet, :"
responded No. 1, with strong emphasis.
| Clarke raised his eyes slowly from his
plate, and seeing the attention Of the Ia
BILE was on him, stood up placing his hand
over his heart, and bowling with great
gravity to the strangers, said:
Il am M'Donald Clarke, the great
poet"
The traveller startsd in mock surprise,
gazed at him in silence for few mo-
ments, and then amidstan audID|e litter
of the company, drew from his pocket a
quarter dollar, and dlaying it before Clarke,
Still looked at him without smile
Clarke raised the quarter in silence and
dignity, bestowed it In bis pocket, drew
thence shilling, which be deposited be-
| fore the traveller with these Words:
Children, half price,
The litter changed to a roar, and the
| travellers were missing intantcr.