The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1859-12-03
Joy In the House of Ward.

inform yu that line in state of crate bills 4
trust these lines will find yu injoyin the
same blessins. line reguvenatid. I've
} found the immortal waters of yooth, 50 to
} speek, Il am as Timber and frisky as a 2
yer old steer, & in the futur them boys
which sez I" 90 up old bawld he'd to me
will do SO at the Peril of their hazard
Individually. line powerful happy
Heaps of Joy has descended on me to onct
d feel like bran new man. Sumtimes
l arsk myself :" is it not dreamY' & suth-
in within myself sez at air." but when /
look at them sweet little critters know it
is . reallerty-2 reallertys may sa-&
feel gay There's considerable human ma
tur in man, arter all
l returnd from the Summer Campane
with my unparaleld show of wax works
and livin wild Beests of Pray in the erly
part of this munth. The peple of Bal
dinsville met me cordjully and immejitly
commenst resting myself with my famer-
| ly. The other mite while l was down to
the tavurn tosting my shins agin the bar
room fire j. amuzin the krowd with sum
of my adventurs, who shood cum in bare
heded d terrible excited but Bill Stokes,
who SEE, sez he, "Old Ward, there's crate
| doins up to your house"
| Sez |, William, how soY'
Sez he, Bust my gizzurd but it's crate
! doins, d then he larfed as if heed kill
| hisself
Sez I, risin and putin on a austeer look,
William ] woodunt be a fool if l had
common cents
But he kept on larfn till he was black in
| the face. when he fell over on to the bunk
WHARF the hostler sleeps and in still
small voise sed, Twins / ashure WI
<Ist h. Il Il
feet on my way home, a was follered by
! a enthusiastic throng of my TELLER sitter
zuns, who hurrard for Old Ward at the top
| of there voises. found the house chock
! full of people. Thare was Mis- Square
| Baxter and her three grown up darrers.
| lawyer Perkinses wife, Taberthy Ripley,
Young Eben Parsuns. Deakun Simmuns
folks, the Skoolmaster. Doctor Jordin, ct
settery, etsettery Mis- Ward was in the
west room, which jines the kitchen. Miss
Square Baxter was mixin suthin in dip
per before the kitchen fire, d small army
Of female wimin were rushing wildly
round the house with bottles of camfre,
peaces of fiannil, DC / never seed sich
hubbub in my natral born dase | Good
stay in the west room only minnit. so
| strung up was my feelins, so that | rusht
out and ceased my dubbel barrild gun.
What upon airth ales the man 2 seq
Taberthy Ripley. Sakes &live, what air
you dom? d she grabd me by the coat
| tales What's the matter with you =? she
contInnerd
Twins, marin" .ez /, twins
Il know il, sez she, coverin her Ease
, with her apun.
Wall, sez l, that's what's the matter
| with me-"
Wall, put down that air gun, you pc.ky
! old fool"
No, marin" sez ], al this is n Nashunal
day The glory of this here day isn't con-
fined to Baldinsviile bv darn site. On
yonder woodshed, sed l, drawin myself
up 10 my full hite, and speakin in a show
actin yoise, will fire Nashunal saloot"
-sayin which tared myself from her
grasp and rusht to the top of the shed
where | blazed away until Square Bsxters
hired man and my son Artemus Juneyer
cum and took me d own by name forse
On returnia to the Kitchin found quite
lot Of people seated bel the fire, talkln
the event over. They made room for me
x sot down. Quite episode sed
Docter Jordin, Etin his pipe with a red hot
coal
Yes sed /, 40 eppisodes, waing about
Is pounds jintly.'
"A perfeck coop de tai" sed the .kool-
master.
e pIuribus unum. in proprietor perso-
n.y. sed |, thinking Ide let him know l
understood furrin langwidges as we'll az he
did if wasn't skoolmaster.
1T is momentious event eed young
Eben Parsuns, who has been , quarters to
the Akademy.
Il never heard twins called by that
name afore,' sed /, but spose its all
rite.
I'VE shall soon have Wards enuff,,' sed
the editer of the Baldinsville Bugle of Ii
berty, who was lookin over a bundle of ex-
change papers in the corner TO apply to
the legislator for City Charter!
Good for you, old mani sed I, "giv
that air conspickius place i'll the next
Bugle:"
How redicklus," sed pretty Susan
Fletcher coyerin her face with her knittin
work a lartin like all possest
Wall, for my part sed Jane Maria
Peasley, who is the crossest old made in
the world, Il think yu all act like pack
Of fools
Sec ], mis- Peasley, air yo parent?
See she, NO, aint"
Sez /, mis- Peasley, yu never will be-"
She left.
We sot there talkin & larfn until "the
switchin nour OF mite whom grave yards
yawng & Josts troop 4th, as old Bill
Shakespire aptlee observes in his dramy OF
John Sheppard, esq or the Moral House
Breaker, when We broke up Il disbursed.
Muther d. children is a doin WE'LL 4 as
Resolushons is the order OF the day / will
feel obleeged if yule insurt the follerin--
Whereas, two Eppisodes has happined
up to the undersined's house, which is
Twins; & Whereas l like this stile, sade
Twins bein of the male perswashun Il both
boys; there4 Be it
Resolved, that to them nabers who did
the fare thing by sade Eppisodes my hart
| felt thanks is doc.
Resolved, that do most hartily thank
Enjine Ko No. Il who, under tine impre-
shun frum the fuss at my house on that
| hauspishus mite that thare was q konfla-
grashun goin on, kum galyiantly to the
| spot but kindly refraned frum squirtin.
Resolved, that from the Bottom Of my
| Sole do l thank the Baldinsville brass
band fur givin up the idea of Sarahnadin
me. both on that great mite and since.
Resolved, that my thanks is doc severul
members of the Baldinsville meetin house
| who fur whole dase haint kalled me a
sinful skoffer or intreeted me TO mend my
wickid vase and jine sade meetin house to
| onct
Resolved, that my Buzzum teams with
meny kind emoshuns lords the follerin in
| dividoouls, to whit namelee-Mis Square
Baxter, who Jenerusly refoozed to take q
sent fur bottle of camfire lawyer Per
kinses wife who rit sum versis on the Ep-
pisodes; the Editer of the Baldinsville Bu-
gle of Liberty who nobly assisted me in
wolluppin my Kangaroo which sagushus
little cuss seriusly disturbed the Eppisodes
by his outrajus screetchins l. kickins up;
Mis- Hirum Doolittle who kindly furnisht
sum cold vittles at tryin time when it
wasunt konvenient to cook vittles at my