Holmes County Republican. [volume] (Millersburg, Holmes County, Ohio) 1856-1865, 1859-01-20

EAcdSAUS fdFSS RSpns.
DR.. Valentine Mott once said to grad
uating class: 'sYoung gentlemen, have two
pockets made-a large one 10 hold the IN
suits and small one for fees. i -.
When Won see two ladies walking with
their arms around each others waists, yor
NAV be pretty sure that they have JUS
been ending quarrel, or on the point o
beginning one. so $40 =.
A country paper refuses to publish obit
uaries gratis, but adds: "Wc will publish
the simple announcement of the death o.
any of our friends with pleasure"
IA gentleman was travelling, while af
ficted with very bad cough. He annoy
ed his fellow travellers greatly, till one o
them remarked, in tone Of displeasure
"Sir that is very bad cough of yours =
''True, sii," replied he, "but you will ex
cuse me-it's the best Eve got"
THE LITERARY FAMINE IN France
The next phenomenon that may be expect.
ed in Europe is a Franch Exodos. Either
the intellect of the country must emigrate,
or the government must 60 out. Which
is it to be? Heads-or tails?
81 and Disraeliput up at the same tav'
ern last night" said dandiied snob. al
must have been house of aceommoda
tion, then, for man and beast," replied BY
stander.
Booth, the tragedian, had his nose bro.
ken. A lady once said to him, 81 like youl
acting, but l cannot get over your nose"
"No wonder" replied he, "lhe bridge i:
gone" 10: .71., z4s-,,, - SKA
An Ohio editor says, "What can be
more captivating than to see beautiful
woman, say about four feet eleven inches
high, and eleven feet four inches in circum
ference, passing along the aisle just as di
vine worship commences ,a7-r
A noted miser having relented so much
as TO give beggar a sixpence, suddenly
dying soon after the attendant physician
gave it rs his opinion was from enlarge
ment of the heart.
Dean Swift, humorously says that 'mar-
ried people, for being so closely united, are
but the apter TO cease loveing, as knots, the
harder they are pulled, break the SOON
er." --------
"Pray, sir, what makes yeu walk so
crookedly?" Nc rt8aa I'D
"oh, my nose, you see is crooked, and l
have to follow it"
Man owes two solemn debts; one to So
ciety and one to nature. 1t is only when
he pays the second that he covers the first
Virtue, attempting to gloss dishonesty
if it doesn't grow ashamed and break down
in the grafton, ceases to he virtue.
The grave>is the purifier, and, in the
charity of the living, takes away the blots
and stains from the dead
Some peoples hearts are shrunk within
them like dried nuts. You can hear them
rattle when they walk.
We are poor fools, and make sad mis-
takes; but there is goodness hired, like
wild honey, in strange hooks and corners
of the world.
A certain dissatisfied wife says that her
husband is such blunderer that he cam
not even try new boot or shoe on without
'butting his foot in it,
The heroine of love story-a mere
thing of goose-quill and foolscap; only
born in a garret to be buried in a trunk.
Men of true humor may put a capital
joke in epitapb, and get a broad grin
from skeleton.
Conscience, be it ever so little worm
while we live, grows suddenly to serpent
on our death bed.
The art of setting off moderate qualif-
cations steals esteem and often gives more
reputation than real merit.
Narrowness Of mind is frequently the
cause of obstinacy. We do not easily be-
ievs beyond what We see. Sc
Absence destroys small passions and in
crease great ones; as the wind extinguishes
tapers, and kindles fires.
1t was the Duke of Wellington, we be-
lieve, who said, 'Let the first turn in the
morning be a turn ont ...
A man of sense may love like mad
man, but never like fool. @
1t is a sign of extraordinary merit, when
those who most envy it are forced to praise
it. . .sa $50 SO 49,
Some people are disgusting with great
merit; Others with great faults are very
pleasing. = - = - - - - - ~
Our merits procure us the esteem of
men Of sense and our good fortune that Of
the public. E
The world oftener rewards the appear
ance of merit, tl:an merit itself.
There is policeman in every mans con-
science-though not always found on his
beat. r- -
1t is lmposs BILE to love those second
time, whom we have ceased to love.
g Lewis, tho fun-ioving editor of the
~ M Union, says an exchange, was a
candidate for the Legislature. In the last