Holmes County Republican. [volume] (Millersburg, Holmes County, Ohio) 1856-1865, 1859-03-17
Couldn't Find it Out.

Mr.. Siocum was not educated in uni
versity, and his life has been in by-paths
and out-of-the-way places. His mind is
characterized by the literalness rather than
the comprehensive grasp of great subjects.
Mr.. Slocum can, however master printed
paragraph by dint of spelling the hard wards
in deliberate manner, and manages to
gain few glimpses of men and things
from his little rocky farm, through the me-
dunn of newspaper. 1t is quite edifying
to hear Mr.. Slocum reading the village pa
per aloud to his wife after hard days
work. A few evenings since, farmer Slo-
cum was reading an account of a dreadful
accident which had happened at the facto-
ry in the next town, and which the village
e.itor had described in great many words.
"What was it about, Mr.. Slocum!"
"l'll read the count, wife, then you'll
know all about it."
Mr.. S. began to read:
"HoRRIBLE AND FATAL AcCIDENT.-It
becomes our melancholy and painful duty
to record the particulars of an accident tina;
occurred at the lower mill, in this village,
yesterday afternoon by which human be-
ing in the prime of life was hurried to that
bourne from which, as the immortal Shak-
spear says, mo traveller returns (,Du tell
exclaimed Mrs. S. Mr.. David Jones, a
workman who has but few susperiors in
this side of the city, was experimenting
one of the large drums, ('tI wonder if twas
brass drum, such as has 'Eblubust Unum'
printed ont, said Mrs. Slocum,) when ne
became entangled. His arm was drawn
around the drum, and finally his whole
body was drawn over the shaft at fearful
rate. When his situation was discovered,
he had revolved with immense velocity
about fifteen minutes, his head and limbs
striking large beam distinct blow at
each revolution. 'Poor creeter, how it
must have hurt himr) When the ma
chinery had been stopped it was found that
Mr.. Jones' arms and legs were macerated
to a jelly; ('Well didn't it kill him!" asked
Mrs. S., with increasing interest;) por-
lions of durmeta, corebrunt and cerebel
lum, in confused masses, were scattered
about the fioor-in short the gates of etern-
ity had opened for him."
Here Mr.. Slocum paused to wipe his
spectacle, and the wife seized the opportu-
nifty to press the question,
"Was the man killed!' t..- ...
81 don't know-have'nt come to that
place yet-you'll know when I've finished
the piece" And Mr.. Slocum commenced
reading:
at was evident when the shapeless form
was taken down, that it was no longer ten
anted by the immortal spirit-the vital
spark was extinct" -
"Was the man killed that's what want
to come at" said Mrs. Slocum.
ado have little patience, old woman"
said Mr.. Slocum, eyeing his better half over
his spectacles, 81 presume we shall come
upon it right away" .-..
And he went on reading: .s .
"This fatal casualty has cast gloom
over our village, and We trust that it will
prove warning to all persons who are
called upon to regulate the powerful ma
cbinery of our mills.
"Now," said Mrs. Slocum, perceiving
that the narration was ended, "now should
like to know whether the man was killed
Mr.. Slocum looked puzzled. He scratch
ed his head, scrutiniziug the article he bad
been perusing, and took graceful survey
of the paper. ,.,5.
al declare, wife," said he, "its curious,
but really the paper don't ssy."