The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1859-12-07

Jul III d man dlOCr oil.
I returned from the Summer Cam
pane with my unparaleld show of way
works and Twin wild Beests of Pray il
the early part of this munth. The peo-
pie of Baldinsville met me cordully anC
[ immejitly commons restin myself with
my famerfy. The other mite while
was down to the tavurn tostin my shins
agin the bar room fire and amusin the
krowd with sum of my adventure, who
shood cum in bare heded & terrible ex-
cited but Bill Stokes who SEE, seq he,
/" Old Ward. there's CRATE doins up to
your house."
SEE I " William, how so 2"
SEE he, Dust my gizzard, but it's
CRATE doins," and then he larfed as if
heed kill hisself
Seq I, risin and putin on an austeer
look, Z" William, I woodent be fool if
| had common cents "
But he kept on larfin till he war
black in the face, until he fell over on
to the bunk where the hostler sleeps,
and in still, small voice, sed, "Twins !"
| assure yu gents that the grass didn't
grow under my feet on my way home,
& I was follored by an enthusiastic
throng ofmy Teller sitterzuns, who hur=
rard for Old Ward at the top of their
voices. found the house chockful of
people. There was Mis- Squire Bax-
ter and her three grown up darters,
lawyer Perkunses wife, Taberthy Rip
ley, yung Ebun Parsuns, Deaken Sim
nuns foxes, the Skoolmaster, Doctor
Jordin, etsettery, etsettery, Mis- Ward
was in the West room, which jines the
kitchen. Mis- Squire Baxter was mix
in sumthin in dipper before the kit
chen fire, and small army of female
wimin were pushin wildly round the
house with bottles of campfire, peases
of fannil,. &c. ] never seed sich a
hubbub in my born days I Good stay
in the west room only mint, so strung
up was my feelins, so rusht out and
seased my bubble barrild gun.
"What upon airth ails the man 7"
says Taberthy Ripley. Sakes alive,
what air you doin ?" and she GRABBED
me by my cote tails. T" What's the
matter with yu?" she continnered.
Twins, marin" seq 1, twins I"
81 know it," seq she, GOVERN her
face with her apun.
"Wall,n SEE I, Hthat's what's the
matter with me.:n
Wall, put down that air gun, yu
pesky old fool" sed she.
"No, marin" SEE I, "this is a Nash
unal day. The glory Of this 'ere day
isn't confined to Baldinsville by darn
SITE On yonder woodshed," SEE /
drawer myself up to my full hite, and
speakin in show actin yoise, will ]
fire Nashunal saloot y saying which
/ tared myself from her grasp and rusht
to the top Of the shed, where I blazed
away until Squire Baxter's hired mar
and my son, Artemus Juneyer, cum
and took me down by name forse.
On returnin to the Kitchin [ found
quite lot of people seated be4 tht
fire, a talkin the event over. TheJ
made room for me & I sot down
Quite eppisode," sed Doctor Jor
din, litin his pipe with a red hot cole
yes" sed |, ~ eppisodes, waipl
about Is pounds jintly."
"a perfeck coop de tat" said tn,
skulemaster.
"E pluribus unum, in proprieto
persony,p sed |, thinkin Ide let hin
know | understud forrin langwidges a
well as he did, if l wasent skulemas
ter.
/" It's momentuous event." SCI
yung Eben Parsons, who has been
quarters to the Academy.
g never heard OWNS called by thai
name afore,' 2 sed /, " but ] 'spose it,
all rite"
" We shall soon have Wards enuff,
sed the editor Of the BaldinsVille Bugl
of Liberty, who was lookin over bun
die of Exchange papers in the corner
"to apply to the legislator for a Cit
Charter
Good fur yu, old man I" sed ]
e give that air a conspickips place i
the next Bugle."
How ridicklus," SGD pretty Susa
Fletcher, GOVERN her face with he
J nittpn work & larfn like all possest.