The national era. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1847-1860, 1859-07-07
CHAPTER XXvII-concluded

CHAPTER XXVII-Concluded
And Constance? Constance held her breath.
There are times-times of spiritual as well as
feels as if it was all that he could do, and as if
i he ceased TO do SO, he must cease to exist.
The following Sunday, however, was another
golden day and Herman revived. In the af
fernoon. while Clara and Edward were on the
-teps of the open door, reading respectively
Greenwoods "Sermons of Consolation" and
the newspaper, Herman sat at the window,
drinking in the soft south wind as it painted
upon his pale brow with the sweetened breath
of the ocean. He took Constance's hand, drew
her into chair beside him, and pointed out
10 her the bright, dreamy, mysterious beauty, in
which land and sea were basking. My dear
heart" said he, " how blessed a thing it is, for
as TO sit side by side here, and enjoy the won
derful loneliness of even this changeful, dying
earth together, and at the same time TO look
forward to sitting side by side again, before
many years have passed, to enjoy together the
undying loneliness of heaven!" He stopped,
and felt her pulse. How it hutters. | wish
il was not so faint. But there is no use in
waiting for it, am afraid. Poor little heart !
it beats in too close a unison with mine. My
poor, dear girl, do you feel strong enough to-
DAY to hear me tell you something ?"
No. no, Herman, don'tl" cried she, with
all her old impetuosity, and spring and stare
like that of dart-stricken antelope.
But he knew her, and had nerved himself,
for her sake, to go on. One would have said,
from his aspect of calmness, and hers of .des-
pair that it was her sentence of death, not his
own, which he was about to pronounce.
Ny poor darling, it is bitterly hard for you,
/ know; but it must come; and therefore L
must soften it for you as much as | can else
how shall You be able to bear it by and by?
Look it in the face bravely now, Constance
and let me, while l can, bear it with you and
comfort YOU"
The tender authority Of his manner produced
something of its usual effect upon her. She
hesitated an instant; then crossing herself in
voluntarily, according to habit which still
CluuR W utI NHcH III SiCdt NioaNSo1l oiAS ~
sumed the seat to which he steadily pointed,
and gasped, rather than said, 50 1 should be
strong enough, indeed, to hear what you are
strong enough to tell. GO on, Herman. Tell
me that / have cut off your glorious young
life, and let me die with YOU
Water, glasses, and hartshorn, were on o
small mahogany table by his side. Before he
spoke, he with steady hand dropped certain
number of drops of the hartshorn into wine
glass full of water, and made her swallow it.
Then leaning back again in his easy chair, taking
her hand again in his, and fixing his earnest
eyes compassionately upon hers, he answered,
" What supposed you would say. / wished
10 answer it. Constance, never, as you love
NE, let me hear you say it again, not even in
your own heart, when my disembodied soul
looks down on yours, and sees and knows it as
only the disembodied spirit can know a spirit.
Constance, my inexpressibly beloved, have /
ever, from the first words / ever spoke to you,
spoken TO you anything but the truth-the
kindly, the honest or, as just now, the cruel
TRUTH"
She bowed her head " Never
Then you will believe me now. Yours is
not presence TO lie in; nor am |, | trust, a
to lie in any presence and | stand, be-
sides. now, on the very threshold of Gods pres
encechamber. Constance, look me in the face.
As if with my latest breath, tell you that you
have been, from FIRST to last, one of the greatest
blessings of my greatly blessed life. Dearest
Constance, except for your sake, | would not
wish that the circumstances of my life, so far as
you had them in your power, had been decided
otherwise. II am now in any degree worthy
of your love, it was your withdrawal of that in
estmable love which, by Gods grace, made me
so You withdrew it, for little while, from a
weak, selfindulgent, visionary boy. If you
bestowed it again upon man, as you think, not
altogether weak, selfindugent, and visionary,
you must thank for him the blessed sorrow,
which, like thunderbolt. hallowed and fred
as II struck him. Then you gave yourself back
TO me, nobler and sweeter even than before
dearer / do not say for that could scarcely be.
Then-once for all, we viii go on to the end with
out hinching-then you confessed to me your
youthful fault. Observe; do not palliate it. l
speak the whole truth STILL call it fault. By
eonfessing it, as you did, frankly and nobly,
and like yourself, as soon as you perceived that
it was a fault, you put it in my power to peril
myself to rescue you from peril. Can be sorry
for that, except for your sake? You also in
spred me, by my love for you, to turn twenty
beasts of burden into men and women. Can l
be sorry for that? There your agency ended,
Constance, in that whole matter excepting that
the thought of your tenderness and sympathy
supported me under the cruelty of others. Look
at it, my dear love, and try to see that it is as
tell you.
oh, Constance, | am telling you the whole
truth still, as it looks to me-indeed / am l
don't deny that / am sorry to die SO young. l
am sorry to die, and leave nothing written that
will live am more sorry than / can tell, to
make you so unhappy by my death hoped
10 make you so happy by my life. But don't
you see that, in inhicting all this sorrow on me,
on us both, YOU had no part nor lot2 Was it
you who made the laws which conflict with
Gods law? Was it you who made brotherly
kindness crime? Was it you-poor, terrified,
broken-hearted child, that you we're who shut
me up from you to live in prison. and let me
out only to die at your side. Ny poor darling,
ii was not Don't you see that it was notp Oh.
don't sob so
Constance, We have both of US been, from
hrst to last-you even more than 1.-The victims
OF barbarous tyranny, that blasts the bodies
and souls of both masters and slaves-blacks
and whites Oh, my God" cried he, with