Des Arc citizen., 1859-08-03
MISCELLANEOUS fTElfs <.

? t44H :. -A down-sast girl being bantsxsd. ono . day by some of her female friends in regSYtl to
 her lover, who had the misfortune to k9vs but one leg, she very waftily replied .tp thenv-- 'Poohi I would nos have man with twc iegs 1; they are too common 's @ K. The time and jstor havs bes.s wu<ss than useless that have ben occupied infl4ylpg up treasures of false knoW l1hish it srlIl De nccessary to unssarn, md m stosjpg III i1id-
 taken ideas whiehiwe must hereafter rsmsm-
 Der to forget.
 N IA darkey;s instructions for pnttinf 6n !
 eoatwefe, x'Fnst dc right arm. dsn d lsf; sni
 den givsons general sonwdlshun y 2 ' 's s
 -if yoa gits run ofFths ttkck 4nt sshsy1sd up, dah you is but if you Eisa ahlowsdupp ppa de boat, wIlAn is.yE s s.S, ssa.ss Il -Ths man who has nothing tSs1 mt of but his illustrions anccst6rs, is liks ' Ifto--
 the only good belonging to hun isep.isf ktks ,l ground. x <. |s sss lsassgs
 LA young lady says that q man is ssa I[ thing to waltz with,a thing to fjtt Withr T thing to take ono td places of an1use msni 4t6
 laugh at, to bs married tc, to pay d.s's sbilIs, s| to kecp one comfortable.N 4sssssssHH
 LA would be erudite yciing mi wishlze l to ask young lady # he might spesk t6hss few moments, "wanted to know If hsHspnld
 roll the wheel of conversation around tho axle<
 tree of her understanding for monssnt. 7 The poor girl fainted. I AYAxxEx Tsicx The Nay pJptrtiAsnt lhas inst made discovery Of tho j1Snner III (which liquor is srnuggled BY shipsy cfcWS 6n I board ships. Bread Is made into rcgufdf ship loavss, inside of which are tin cans, ho1dL9S
 about pint, filled with liquor. The 1aa cifc mail brought box Of this bread, insids
 ofseach Ioaf was ! can filitd with lIt is certainly avefy ingspiodS eods Iv1nef We remember n ancient teaehNfs II rhetoric who always demanded ! sdenhleAzes from those pupils whe had been. instrnet Hd5y
 others, for in that case .he had not cNly topiept [.in, but to root ont, Hsavep knows whata 1 "rooting outv weof thenrssept day xill feqniss I when tho time shall come s,s4 ss{t l PRoBLEsf rox 4 Mi xaAx.-~If IfstwentJ l inches of snow give three inches of xattrpat0lw much milk villa ajvsn COW yietds shen1s don turnips2 sR9s @s M Ma3h I Kay, , Multiply the number Of Sn0W 1Gnits l by the number of hairscn theeosvAs totly81i- vide ths product by tbe juies 6 &x1 nrstp, add to tho quotient poands Fl }chalk IT Enl- l tiply the sum by tho hydrant.
 -rord 1orton Is represented h thsnsw edition Of Burke's Peerage ss ohly hsvins ono son. Lady Lorton writes to the Lohdon zY6fs to say that Lord Lorton has two son1 lIis Lordship retorts and insists tfat hs h.s only 1 one and willnot acknowIedgs Second Who 1 is to decide There is . niee point sssf tle l lawyers.
 --There is brave man at vInsgsr IrIlI, l in 10 Davies county, III. is only tueaty- two years of age, says the Galsna Courfer, and has just become the yirTA husbsnd 4 ! ] widow lady full SIXTY years of ags. s.sl l An editor says that whsn h was h pris- lon for ]ibeIling justice of the pence, he Wes l requested by the jailor "to give the prisen l puff M sss
 .A little girl ahowing her little cousin, abont four years old, star, said, "That star, 1 yo,i see up there, is bigger than this wcrld-" ssNo it nin't, ,'' said he. ~Yes, 1t is.' Then why don't 1t keep the rain of IT -He who $ always inquiring <twhat will lpeopis ?" will never givs them n opportu- Unity of saying any great thlags abouthim. Recently, st marriage In Leeds, after the ceremony, the bride burst Into tears; whereupon the bridegroom, ! stout six foot fellow, following the example, blubbered like d calf, and being rcmonstated with, roared out: ssLet me alone, I feel ss bad about it as she does l''
 Dow, junior, closes 1short patent ser- mon'' on matrimony with the following recom- mcndation;
 ssMy brethren, you should never marry very young. Life is a feast; after you have en- Ijoyed the substantials, let wife como in as the dessert."
 BEAUrIrUL SExrrMENT.-To-morrow is like a juggler that deceives usj qaack that | pretends to cure us and thin ice that will not bear our weight It is fruit beyond our grasp; glittering baubie that bursts and van- l ishcs away; awill-o-the-wisp that leads many l into the mire; rock on which many mariners have struck, and suffered ship wreck It is an illusion to all who neglect the present hour, and reality to those only who improved to- das.
 -ts Molly,o said Joe Kelly's ghost to his wife, ~l'm in purgatory at presents" says he. ssAnd what sort of place is 1t ?" "Faix, it 1 is sort of halfway house between you and Heaven, and stand it yery aisy after laying you"
 Heath Constitutes the happiness of the body knowledge and virtue that of the mind.
 Few have been taught to any purpose who have not been greatly their own tvaehsr1;