Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1859-12-09
FACT, FUN AND FANCY.


Re- Tho vowels which create most
sensation in the minds Of honest men are
10 U.
GE- To act upon determination made
in anger, is like embarking in vessel
during storm.
E47- Train upa child in the way he
shouldn't go, and when he gets old he'll
do as he pleases.
ESs- A Mr.. Archer has been sent to
the Ohio Penitentiary for marrying three
wives '1nsatiate Archer; could not
one suffice /"
Es- A Buffalo paper announces that
DIR. Brandreth has introduced bill into
the Legislature, Is the editor sure he
minded his ps in his announcement
ES- a woman in Florida, named Gross
lately gave birth to an infant son which
weighed only one pound. That Cross
wasn't hard to bear.
Exs- Mrs. Lucy Hill complains in an
Arkansas paper, that her nephew has tram
pied upon her rights and feelings. The
graceless young rascal shouldn't be allow.
ed to trample upon his auRt- Hill.
EE- A Connecticut schoolmistress
having troublesome big boy to manage,
sat dozen upon him. She was large
woman, and quite crushed OUT his in
subordination.
The ScHooLMAsTRR's PATRRNAb AD-
HcE.-"The world, my son, is but a
large copy-book, and | need not point
out to you with what very little wisdom
it is ruled. "--Pmlch.
T<s- During an examination, mcdi.
cal student being asked the question,
"When does modification ensuc Z" re-
piled, "When you pop the question and
are answered NO.
Ezr One of our exchanges advertises
for two compositors who don't get
drunk, !" and adds that 'the editor does
all the getting drunk necessary to sup
port the dignity of the establishment. /"
Eg- A Pittsburg paper says, in AT
obituary notice of an old lady, that ''shc
bore her husband twenty children and
never gave him cross word" She
must have obeyed the good old precept-
shear and torbear."
Ets- The editor of the Boston Liberia.
tor calls upon the ladies of the North tc
make use of nothing that is produced by
slave labor He needn't expect them
not to use cotton. They will not erpe,
SO old a friend from their bosoms.
Re- A man down East has invented q
machine to renoyate old bachelors. Out
of good sized fat, greasy, oil bachelor,
he can make quite decent man, and
have enough left for two small puppies
pair of leather breechcs and kettle o.
soft soap.
For A Fir OF DEsPoNDENcY. Look on
the good things which God has giver
you in this world, and to those which h,
has promised to his followers in the next
lie who goes into bis garden to look fol
cobwebs and spiders no doubt will fine
them while he who looks for fowe,
may return into his house with one bloom
ing in his bosom
ED- Lord Chancellor Glare on one
occasion, while Curran was addressing
him in most important case, occupied
himself with favorite spaniel seateC
near him Curran having ceased speak
ing, through Indignation or malice pre-.
pense, Lord Glare raised his head and
asked:
"Why don't you proceed, Mr.. Cur
RAM"
II thought you was in consultation, >
replied Curran.
EG- A young lady and gentleman dis.
putting upon subject, the lady tcrsely
remarked:
'Sir, we can never agree ON anything.
"You are wrong, madame" said he
IF you should 60 into a room in which
there were but two beds, woman in ono
and man in the other, with whom would
you sleep 2"
with the woman of course, /" replied
she.
ESQ would l." remarked the gon-
tleman.
Es5- Tho Christian Advocate gives the
following characteristic anecdote of an
old Kentuckian, long familiar with hun
ting and border worfaro. who, being
present at conversation whore Maflits
name was mentioned in connection with
other distinguished Methodist ministers
exclaimed IL tell you what III gentle
men, say what you please about your
Bascoms, and Waughs, and Carporsos.
but in the big day coming. Maait will
bring ur as many skelps as any ono on