Meigs County telegraph. [volume] (Pomeroy [Ohio]) 1848-1859, 1859-10-04
Alis1rllanp.
THE DOUBLY HEN-PECKED
A HINT TO AMATEURS IN THE ART OF LOW
BY W. g. EATON.

,Ye who, fatigued with. the tresome
monotony Of single life, and weary of the
frivoli.ies of courtship, seek the myste-
rious labyrinths of matrimony, give eyes
awhile, and effectiveness, while the tale
is told Of Deacon Nbsebug, and his
charmer, Betsy spoolcow.
Abed Nosebug. deaconof the principal
meeting house in ParsnipviIle, lost his re-
maikable wife Martha. Martha is He
brew name for bitterness, and remark
ably bitter cud she proved for him to
chew, through seventeen years of bitter
fights and fancies. 1t was a wonder how
Nosebug ever CHANGED 10 choose her; for
The deacon prided himself upon his knowl-
edge Of physiognomy, and Martha s small.
muddy and censorious sy-, together with
her uneasy manners, shaip tones, quick
speech, and hatchely facial angles, might
have warned a bigger fool than the dea-
con, that the sum Of their Interpretation to
the man who should marry her was:--
Here's rae for you, and rue for me!'
But the deacon WAS man OF strong
faith. He ran the risk, trusted TO luck,
and married; and found that fortune does
not always favor the brave. She died at
last, however; for at the end of his ordeal
of seventeen years, Martha, tired Of hav
ing her own way, gave up and died. She
had scolded herself completely out; and
the deacon now had chance of some res
pile from the bottle. to which he had des
perately resorted for oblivion of his do
meslic woes. :
He improved the chance by slow de-
grees, and having got rid of his two fatal
daily companions-his two evil spirits
his natural spirits improved and he be-
came far more companionable. A natural
consequence was, that, like all other men
thus unbewitched, he paid more attention
to his personal appearance; and his more
spruce costume and apparent efforts to
please, excited the remark, among his
fellow church. members, particularly the
female portion, that he was on the lookout
for Mrs. Nosebug No. 2.
AS this suspicion gathered strength,
and the deacon's nose waxed paler at the
tip, sensation on his account was created
among the marriageable women Of about
his age. He was in fair standing in
church and society, and had enough
property to keep wife comfortable, and
none knew this better than Miss Betsy
Spool,ow, who had for forty years been
wandering about the garden of life, with
out entering the bowers of matrimony.-
She had long wished for ticket of ad-
mission, but no man had been gallant OF
daring enough 10 give her one-wbich
might or might.not have proceeded from
her three prominent traits-indolence, art.
fulness, and a termagant disposition.
81 am determined to try for the dea'
con!" she resolved. IL have heard that
he prides himself upon his knowledge o.
women = sure sign that he is the more
liable to be mistaken. He will soon be-
gin to feel lonesome without his custom
ary companion, and the more likely tt
enter the holy state than if he had always
been bachelor. l will join his church
and get acquainted with him right off,"
Miss Spoolcow did so, and threw her
self in the deacon's way as often and al
adroitly as possible; while he, unconscious
man, little dreaming Of the net which wal
spead for him, and in no hurry to be mar
ried again, exulted in his long -sighed-fol
liberty. and looked with an air of the mos
lofty independence upon all female crea
tion. ~ riy-
II am determined to take my leisur,
nick he, reflected, lat all events, !,
have had experience enough, goodnes
knows, to enable me to make wise,choic
the second time, should the second tim
ever come. I haven't mourned seventeen
years for nothing.
But the burnt child does not Away
dread the FIRE. Hope and self-relianc
will keep singing Of better luck next time
and mortals often give heed tothem. Ant
the deacon, after a few months. found hi
liberty more lonesome than luxurious, jas
as Betsy Spoolcow had anticipated.