The Council Bluffs nonpareil. [volume] (Council Bluffs [Iowa]) 1857-1867, 1859-12-17
HOW TO TELL AN ABOLITloNIST-DUT
OF THE SOUTH

! Or AHE SOSAA
There are few things more eminently cal
culated to command the admiration of the
human mind, just now, than the method:
advised by our Southern brethren for put
ting the south in perfect state Of de efenst
against the incursions of northern abolition.
ist. These bad men, as we understand from
the Brandon Republican,, are scattered
throughout the length and breadth of the
Southern fold, wolves perfdiously assuming
the sleeps attire of peddlers and peda-
gogues. The depraved wretch who sells
the Southern matron bargain in tinware,
has IL sharp eye for freedom as well US trade,
and may well be supposed to plot the de-
structons of domestic Institutions, while he
furnishes domestic untensils. The Yankee
teacher surrounds himself with an atmos-
phere of hatred toward slavery, and in his
obedience to God, ,--neither drinking, swear
ing, gambling ncr cheating-of course offers
resistance to tyrants.
Besides these political objections, there
are social considerations, which render the
presence of these s'hawkers of holy things
and unholy, still more disagreeable to the
South. The female heart is everywhere
powerfully weak, and its frailty has wrought
no little disaster in the world. The fatal
love of Helen gave Troy to the flames and
in all history the mischievous amorous
tragedy is repeated. The southern maid
(but more particular y the southern widow }
offer t feeble resistance to the blandish-
men, these northern emmissaries, who
are constantly swapping up fortune here,
plantation there, and an Inheritance of
negroes in some other place, while the
snubbed native of the south, thus cut out
of his legitimate portion. is forced to take
up the precarious trade Of politics, or the
practice Of arts well known to needy gentle
men of extravagant habits and high-toned
constitution Of mind. Why these Northern
ers should prevail over the sons of the soil,
it is hard to divine. 1t is true they can
spell; and that their habits generally fit
them for ladies' society; but these facts
hardly afford a solution of the mystery. We
must refer it again to the perverse weakness
of woman, who when the Danes invaded
England, preferred the invader to her own
blood, because he was known to wash him
self twice a xeek-which practice was wholly
unknow to our blunt and sturdy Saxon
ancestors.
In view Of this irritating state of things,
the Republican advises the establishment Of
throughout the south of the European
passport aystem-a system which the editor
cannot believe will interfere seriously with
, the pleasure Of travellers or the rights Of
citizens. 1t calls the attention Of the Mis-
sissippi legislature to the QUESTION. Gas
things are" saws the editor, ''we are unable
to distinguish a northern abolltolist from a
southern slave holder.
The passport system is the happy thought
of an ingenious and wel.reguInted mind.
But the Mississippi legislature does not meet
at once, and as the Republican, remarks,
''something must be done and that quickly
With extreme reluctance, knowing well
that the advice Of Republican journal
can naturally have but little weight with our
southern friends, We offer q suggestion.-
10 all the villages and railway stations, let
vigilance committees of the most 'senseless
and fit men" be formed, whose duty it shall
be to stop the trains. and examine pnsssen-
gers according to the following rules:
lst. Search the pockets Of the suspected
! individual. If he have good northern or
eastern money, let it be conf>cuted to the
committee. Ii is one witness that he is an
abltionist.
%. Let his countenance be subjected to
rlslu eslleatlon. ii lie LOOKS lihe
gentleman he is probably an ablitionist.
Sd. Examine his overcoat. If it con-
tains neither IA pistol nor bowie knife nor
monte cards, he is an incendlary without
doubt.
.ith. Smell his breath. If it is tainted
with no p"rceptihls SAVIOR of liquor, let the
wretch be taken from the cars at once.
5th. Narrowl Y observe his conduct. II
he do not swear, nor use other unbecoming .
language. the case is clearly made out, and
the best thing the committee can do for
the south and for the Union, is to cast lots
for his clothing, and hang him up to the
nearest tree.
We offer these suggestions, gratis; hut if
grateful southern conftderacy, desires to
exhibit its gratitude p"cuniarily, this paper
may be addressed in care of the Ohio
Statesmen.