The Council Bluffs nonpareil. [volume] (Council Bluffs [Iowa]) 1857-1867, 1859-03-26
WARS YURE HOSS

corn. Inc farmer, ucaIltlS tHAt Soou louu
Was much cheaper farther south, concluded
to move there. Accordingly, he provided
his eldest son with good horse, and suf-
fcicncy Of the needful to defray his travel
ling and contingent expenses, and instructed
him to purchase two hundred acres Of good
land at the lowest possible price, and return
Immediately home. The next day Jeems
started for Arkansas, and after an absence
of some six weeks, returned home.
swell, Jeems, said the old man, 'how'd
goa find land in Arkansaw =
'Tolerable cheap, dad
'You didn't buy MORN two hundred acres
did yu, Jeems:'
~, dad, not over two hundred, rccs-
on
How much money hev yu got left"
Nary red, dad cleaned rite out"
tWhy, had no idee travelin' was spen-
sive in them parts, Jeems.'
'Wal, just va ,ry it wonst, and yu'll find
out reckon
oval, never mind that, let's hear bout
the land, and-but wars yure hoss?'
why yu see, dad, was goin' along enc
day
Blu, wars yure hosp
sYu hold on dad, an I'll tell yu all about
it. Yu see was gon' along one day, and
met a Teller, as said he was goin' my way
tu-'
But wars yure hoss?'
sDod darn mi hide, eft yue don't shut up
dad, I'll never 81. tn the boss. Wall, as
we was both goin' the same way, me an this
Teller jined cumpenny, an bout noon, we
hitched our critters, and sot down aside NV
q branch, an went tn eatin' a snack. AFTER
we'd got thru, this Teller SEE tn me. 'Try a
drap Nv this ere red-eye, stranger' Wal,
don't min1,t SEE -
'But wars yure boss :"
skummiu' tn him bime-b by, dad. So me
an this Teller sot thar, sorter torkin' an
drinkin', an then he SEE, stranger let's play
lecte game Nv Seven-up,' takin' out Nv
his pocket Il greasy, roun' -cornered DECK or
kerls. Don't care ef du,' SEE |. SO We
sot up side Nv stump, m kumsnenced tn
bet quarter up an was staying MIN,
orful-'
'But wars yurs hoss+
sKummin' tn him, dad. Bime-by, luck
changed, and he got tn winnin', and pretty
sumo, hadn' nor nary nuther doIiur. Then
SEE he, stranger, I'll gin yu cha2ce tn sit
even, and play you one more game VA,
We both plaid rite tite that game, an We was
both six an six, an---'
But wars yure hosp
'Kummn' tn him, dad. We was six and
six, dad, an twas his doal--'
'Will yu tell me wars yure boss 2 said
the old nan, getting riled.
'Yes, VIC was six, and he turned up the
jack
WARS yure hosp
Tho stranger won him, turnin' up that
jack
.
fV Crinoline was put to novel use at
Lyndon, Vermont, few days ago. The
Sheriff went to search for key Of liquor
known to be in the hotel at that placo-but
the man couldn't get so much as smell Of
the critter' from garnet to cellar. The
hostess on seeing him drive up had seized
the key, and covering it with her ample skirt, I
continued her sewing as composedly as pos
sibe. The Sheriff SAID he thought the wo-
men folks seemed mighty tickled about
something
~ After the slight of the Pope from
Rome, the k,ns of Naples, who had come t"
visit the Holy Father in his exile. went with
him on board Of an American frigate. The
commander welcomed them in these terms
'Popr, how are you King how DO YOU
DO? Here, Lieutenant Jones, you can speak
French plyley rous with The Pope, while
the Nm; AM 60 down and have drink.
King, como oA7
20" The Louisville Courier has Il column
OF Wit GEd Wi, lom' by way of ridiculiug
Prenti"ns column in the New York Ledger.
IL IS gotten up by ~. b. Darned, Esq and
souet.mes has u pretty good take oil. For
instance:
Tie violet grows low and covers itself
wia its own tears, and of all flowers
yields the sweetest fragrance-such is hu-
.nility.-G. d. F.'s uisdom.
The cabbage grows high and covers
itself with its own bags, and of oil yafbs
yields the sweetest sour Araut-s!ch Is
life!
Last weeka man bought goods in one
OF the interior towns Of Indiana, and offered
forged check in payment. \ constable at
hand, whose name was Cash, promptly ar
rested him. The rascal's check wasn't CASH
ed, but he wns.-G. d. P.'s hay wihy COL
umn.
Next week man named Counter was
thrown into jail in an Indiana town, charged
with passing bad bill. The charge was
proved false, and Counter, Wiped the Of
frer. 50 the bill was good, and Counter
fit.
.,L .,,,,.,, ~.
" An o'o '"'s 'o.u mex son 70 I I,s,t tne
ooos III oraer 10 Aeep OUT VI" "lhu. in"I
viii MAKE IL worse motnet, he rep''eu; lof
you wen kno" the VIM o!o"etn "here II
Esteth."
1900 -
Il DO wish could be cured Of lying
10 bed so l"te IN the morning., SAID lazy
l will try tho water cure,' said his wife,
pouring Ducket-full on him.
go
freshman was asked II he got his
share of the taml property s. Ay, shure,
my father ordered my elder brother to divide
did it, for he took the inside himself and