The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1859-06-22
A Specimen BRICK.

made quarterly.
A Specimen BRICK.
The Paraguay Expedition was very fair
specimen Of the method of doing business by
his delectable Democratic Administration.
1t was pet scheme of the President and his
Cabinet, and was carefully nursed up to re-
trieve some portion Of the lost honor and
popularity of the degraded Democracy. All
the arrangements we're made, the means pro-
vided, and the maneuvers studied 10 Cabinet
council. This great Administration, this
mighty Administration, this all conquering
Administration was going to exhibit its won
derful powers, its scientific skill, its incredi-
bic sagacisy in distant region. 1t was 60
ing to open that mystical river, the La Plata,
to the enterprise of American commerce, and
TO humble the pride of the impadent Guacho
that sneered at their threats from the palace
of Assumption in the heart OF the continent.
Well, to begin with they hired q lot Of old
refuse and unseaworthy boats Of political fa-
vorites and family friends, at enormous pri-
ces. For instance, the Metacomet, which
was purchased for 81 900, and abominably
high at that, was rented to the Government
for $500 per month. While in Paraguay
she Was examined, condemned and thrown
away, it being thought best, on the whole, to
proceed no further with q vessel about fall.
ing in pieces and exhibiting hundred holes
In her boilers. The beginning was Just like
this Democratic Adm instration, wasn't it /?
Really it did show q beautiful consistency of
character in the outset. Those shiftless old
crafs were two months in going out under
steam. The engineers we're men of skill
They knew better than to rack their old hulks
with full stroke and rapid motion, and so
they took their time, rather than run the risk
OF being launched into eternity through til,
door OF the southern sea. But they got e
the mouth of the river at last, and after fool
ing around about coal long enough to in.
volve an expense twice us great as the orig.
inal amount in dispute, they proceeded ur
The river. And when they had reached
the region Of their destination, the officers
and professional men trembled for the effec,
OF some chance-shot of the clcuted savares,
Tor 1t is said that any vessel they had nigh,
have been disabled by single Mimic ball
that could have been sent into the steam.
chests, which, as the vessels had not beer
constructed for warlike purposes, were abov,
the water line. But fortune favored. M
night followed, and the criminal Oversight
damaged no body. Thefact finally leaks out
TOO, that as they drew out the line Of thei
fleet IN battle array they had ammunition
enough for only seven hours firing. Thin
OF that What an equipment, what provis
IONS to open battle with thousands OF mile
away from home in the heart Of hossi
country! But the great fat good nature
uuacho took an economical view Of the ques
ton; he found it would cost him many time
asmuch to make fight over it as it would /
ilquidate the claim; be looked into his ca,t
box and observed that he wasn't remarkabl
hush OF funds; and SO he Rugged Bowlin, an
bowlin Rugged the Guacho, and Guach
agreed to slough over" by and by. An
perhaps he will But if he shouldn't. il wi
all have to be done over again. And the
bowlin started home. But meantime Il
rickety old vessels had so exhibited the
character that the commander considered
necessary to send them home in pairs. th
IN case one gave out the crew could tai
refuge on the other; and as matter of fac
though good luck followed them all tho VI
and they enjoyed q fine sea, the Chopin v
actually towed five thousand miles, q cri
pied and shattered hulk.
And so ended this famous expedition. 7
vessels being got home, were piled up, M
OF them, as useless lumber, good for MOTH
Dut to impose upon the government in CT
another Administration AZ corrupt as
Democratic one was willing to pay of ho
OF hangers-on and professional plumber
by buying them up or hiring them over az
Tor some similar expedition.
DOcsored.
The University Of North Carolina best
cd the title Of Doctor Of Laws on Mr..
chanan at his late visit there. This Was