Staunton vindicator and general advertiser. (Staunton, Augusta County, Va.) 1858-1860, 1859-08-26
lbruptlv awav to hide his emotion

| broke off. "Give me little time. II ad
ded, passionately renewing the effort "a
shall conquer this love Of mine-I will be.
come worthy Of you, after all !"
Conquer the purest feelings Of wo-
mans heart! Offer yourselfa sacrifice te
my sel6shness No, no: Mildred, yours
is the season of blessedness-mine is al
ready past. Presently. will come back te
you in my old character. and be able to say
with less difficulty than [ do tonight, God
bless you both | will kiss you for the
! last time" M
He clasped me in his arms and kissed
me. seemingly with more earnestness than
passion, but it was the very depth Of pas
sion. As the door closed upon him. a
strange impulse seized me- longed to call
him back. Was it true I did not love him !
saw none Of my family that evening,
for went at once to my room. What a
night Of misery and conflict passed
The next morning Frank came to my
private sitting room, and knocked for ad-
mittance. He held letter in his hand ];
his fne eyes were sufused with happiness.
"Sympathize with me, Mildred" he said;
Il feel too much to bear it alone. I have
never talked to you about her, for | could
not trust myself with the subject while a
doubt remained. Now, I will tell you a.
bout my darling; she is as worthy Of a true
mans heart as-as Mr. Lacy is Of yours. ~
by the way Mildred, was very anxious
about you that night he came home for
your manner was nQt-not what were | in
his place, would have satisfied me; but that
IS the form woman's caprice takes with
you, hare concluded As for not loving
him at bottom | don't dare so to impugn
my noble cousin heart and understanding !"
Frank talked on long and earnestly -told
ne the story of his love- read me his letter;
but heard nothing distinctly. understood
nothing fully One fact | grasped that he
was going to leave me to-morrow--goiLg to
this darling Of his and that il had a spark
OF dignity and womanly sense left, | must
excite It now. don't know how | bore my
nartygdom; but won its crown Frank
oade me goodby without suspicion Of the
truth.
| ran once more to the solitude Of my
chamber. [ felt abandoned PROSTATE |
flung myself on the bed in a transport Of
despair. Why, I had lost all Had
been so criminal that my punishment was
SO heavy? ''Oh, Frank!" cried, .'how
have loved you-what life might have
been!!' That reflected, if Mr. Lacy low
ed me as loved my cousin, what a fine
spirit and nature he had shown; what rare
gift such heart was Miserable as | was
il was deeper misery to think 1 was the
cause of his
[ was very i'll after these events, and fears
for my health quite absorbed any anger my
father might have felt at the disappointment
of cherished desire, or perhaps Mr.. Lacy,
by his representations, has shielded me a.
gainst it. When | recovered, people said
| was very much altered and so | VISA
The flush Of youth was passed was not
twenty, but nothing of the childishness Of
IA few mouths back was left Frank was
married and Mr. Lacy we never saw-at
least | rever saw him, Disappointment
had made life an earnest thing to me aud
taught by its discipline, the character of my
former lover rose in dignity in my eyes.
.How wasn't that what had thought would
be lifelong regret-my love for my
transient emotion, Of
which the traces grew daily feebler. Had
| sacrificed my happiness to passing fancy?
Or was it that at my age one can not long
cling to the impossible? Little signifed
the seeming contrariety of my heart, for
the fact re,nained-ifI had never loved Mr.
Lacy before, loved him now | thought
Of the incidents Of our brief en-
agement-every word Of endearment, evey
embrace, had its hold on my memory. 1
recalled his opinions, framing my own
by them, and followed his pub
lie career SO far as I was able, aided by my
deep knowledge of the high principles and
motives that actuated it.
The feeling grew in silence, till my for
mer love for Frank was but a child's dream
in comparison. To bear his name mention
ed, and always mentioned in connection,
with something honorable, moved me with
a strange passi' Of leeling-and he had
loved me Oh! did he love me yet?
Time passed, and | had long resumed my
former relations with society, and had met
with successes enough to crafty my heart
had vanity been my ruling passion, or could
I have adopted it in place Of the one which
was secretly sapping the fresh springs of
life. Sometimes the idea occurred. that it
might be possible, without any compromise
OF somauly dignity, to ascertain his feelings
for me, and il they remained unchanged,
to teach him til, change in mine and then
| fell into that coloring Of bright future
which seems to be the ordained and Sissy
phus-like penalty Of the unhappy.
My chance came at last. At a large
dinner party, I unexpectedly met Mr.. Lacy.
He came to me at once; spoke kindly and
gently, as in long past times; but there was
nothing to lead 80 the idea that he still low
ed memo hesitation in the we'll known
voice, no latent tenderness in the searching
eyes I could not bear it, and wished he
would leave me to myself, and not torture
ME with that cruel friendship AT my first
opportunity turned from him, and enga-
ged myself in conversation with gentle
man vino was we'll known to be one Of ny
nu;:ors It appeared like coquetry, but it
was the eagerness Of self-mistrust That
evening seemed very long and unexpectedly
painful, | had not known how tenaciously
| had chung to hope until it failed me-
When Mr. Lacy came forward to help me
to my carriage, l felt could hardly re-
ceiye the ordinary ciyility from him without
betraying myself.
was surprised when he begged me to