The Grand Haven news. [volume] (Grand Haven, Mich.) 1858-18??, 1859-12-21
Miscellaneous Items.

= Ladies wear corsets from instinct
"a love of being squeezed.
- Blessed are they that owe nothing,
sheriffs will not trouble them.
-"My son what would you do if your
dear father was suddenly taken away
from your "Swear and chaw toback-
erw
- The barber who dressed the head
of barrel, has been engaged to fix up
the locks of canal.
= Make truth credible, and children
will believe it; make goodness lovely,
and they will love it; make holiness cheer
ful, aud they will be glad of it.
= The worst form of ingratitude is to
refuse to accept favor from the hands Of
person to whom you have had tho
pleasure Of rendering one.
- There are few men, who, were they
certain of death on their seventieth birth
day, would think of preparation. To-
morrow may be the gate of an eternity,
and they go on in their folly.
= A boy was asked one day what
made him so dirty, and his reply was -
Il am made, so they tell me, of the dust
of the ground, and reckon it's just work
ing out"
- Let the society thou frequcntest be
like company of bees gathered together
to make honey, and not wasps, which do
nothing but hum, devour, and sting.
- Who hath sickness? Who hath
sorrow? Who hath trouble like the man
who takes his village paper without pay
ing for it? Nobody!
- The chap who took the thread of
life to sew tho rent of house, has gone
west and invented patent point for cross
eyed needles.
- If two pounds of copper will make
a cew.bcll-how many pounds will it take
TO make COW bcller?
About IN ounce in the shape Of Il bul-
let.
I'll have gone into the silk business,
said man to his neighbor.
So | supposed, rs | saw you rceling
all day yesterday"
= We cannot all of us be beautiful,
but the pleasantness of n good humored
look is denied 20 none. We can all OF
us increase and strengthen the family af
fections and delights Of home.
"Dear Charles always gives me a
new dress or takes me TO the opera, when
| ask him. said a smiling wife, "and oil
my part have objection to his having q
night-kcy."
"Humph," growlcl her uncle Horace
throwing pogy to catch n salmon"
- A publisher of newspaper out
West in the first issue of his Journal re-
turns thanks to those who loaned him tho
pecuniary means, and gratitude TO Heav-
en- that there is no law in the State en-
forcing imprisonment for debt.
- 1t has been discovered that children
whose parents take and read newspapers
cannot begin TO blackguard with children
whose fathers use their money for "rot
gut" and pig-tail. Moral--don't let your
children have papers, or they will be un.
fitted for the street and State prisons.
- Judge Mclean passed through thi,
city yesterday morning. He breakiastcd
at the American House. Ind. Jour.
A poor German passed through our city
on yesterday morning. lie didn't cal
any breakfast at all. Laporte Times.
"Do you love me, Jonathan?'
"Do love you? AK the sun il i
loves fowers--ax sister Sal if she love,
ingcrns-ax sick kitten if it loves ;
warm brick. Love you, Lucy? Show m,
the man that says l don't, and I'll cav,
his head in with the cistcrn pole, darn
| don't"
= Uglincss is an advantageous stimu
lus to the mind, that it may make up 70
the deficiencies Of the body. Moral beau
ty, the reflection of the soul, is rs supc
rior to superficial comeliness, rs mind i
TO matter. 1t is halo which will vii
worshippers, however unadorned TN
shrine whence it elninales; for she wh'
looks good cannot fail to be good look
ing.
} - Oh! how sweet is harbor after
long storm, and n sunshiny day after
dark and tempcstuous night, aud warn
spring after n sharp winter! The miscr
les and difficulties that man meets witt
in this world, will exceedingly sweeten tn
glory of the other world.
- 81 stand upon tho soil of freedom,
; cried a stump orator.
, Z" No, you don't" exclaimed his shoe
maker, 'you stand upon tie soles of boot
that have never been paid for"
, - A Louisville paper has some al
swcrs to correspondents. Here is sam
: pie:
: "Jennie--Ministcrs arc not more ad
. dicted to dissipation than men Of othe
5 professions. A few of the Kallock TYP
7 take gin toddics aud improper libertle
! with females, but n great majority OF thci
: are as good rs lawyers and doctors. J
/. you want true christian, marry an Cd