The Alleghanian. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1859-1865, 1859-09-01
NO. 2.
WIT AND WISD0m.

BA- Politeness is like an air-cushion-
there may be nothing soft in it, but it
eases jolts wonderfully. -.
Be-It is heaven upon earth to have a
man S mind move in chastity, rest in Prov
idence, and turn upon the poles of truth.
Bae Dearly l love friend, yet a foe |
may turn to profit; friends show me that
which l can do-foes teach me that which.
| should do.
pJ~Catch not too soon at anoffense, nor
give too easy way to anger. The one
| shows a weak judgment, the other per-
verse nature.
-''Pat, what is the reason that you
and your wife always disagreed" "Eai5h'
its kaze we're both of one mind she wants
to be master, and so do ~
HAMoney, like manure, does no good
till it is spread There is no real use of
riches, except it be in the distribution
the rest is but conceit
ma- -Truthfulness is corner stone in
the character, and if it is not firmly laid in
youth, there will ever after be weak
spot in the foundation.
VERY GREEN.-"Jeff, why am you like
the cedar - 81 guys it up, Sam L can't
tell you" Cease you stays green both
summer and winter
Poor OLD LADY.-An old lady being
told that the world was shortly coming to
an end, exclaimed, ''Oh what shall l do
for snuff ~
BagA Georgia editor accuses one of his
cotemporaries of ''dying his hair and try
ing to renovate his carcass so as to get
some female into the embraces of his rat
tling bones"
rg-"I never come late to friends
dinner" says Boileu, 'for have observed
that, when company is waiting for a
man, they make use of that time to load
him with abuse"
A HINT know am perfect bear.
in my manners" said fine young farmer
to his sweetheart. "No, indeed, you are
not, John; you have never hugged me
yet. You are more sheep than bear"
VERY PHILosopHIcAL-"1 a doggie's
tail is cut awf entirely, will 1t 29t inter
fere with his loweomowshun "Not
egzactly, it will not affect his carrhge, but
'twould stop his Vaughn x
CAUTIoN.-An old lady WHOSE son was
about to proceed to the Black SdA, among
her parting admonitions gave HIM strict
iniunctions not to bathe IN that tSea, for
she did not want him to come hone nlg-
ger
@ Says Dick to Joe, 'Did you attend
church yesterday"
al was confined to r-J room,' was the
reply. .ltb. noo,,, ,t;sm .hon.
said Dick.
We. pc heard a good story told lately
| Of Irish lady of this town who discov-
ed a spotted land tortoise while gather
ing berries, and in great tribulation called
on her company to come and see a rattle
snake with the box with the rattles in on
its back.
A LEARNED SENAToR-A distinguish
ed senatorAsenators are always distin-
guished-rose, few days since, in his
place, and solemnly offered a resolution to
the effect that thermometers be placed IN
the Senate Chamber, and kept at twenty
degrees above Fahrenheit
A BROTH OF BoY-Testy Lawyer:
"What's your business, my friend y Ex-
lie of Erin: s'Sure, and didn't Tim Null
rooneys wife's husband tell me that yer >
honour was wantin' boy ~ -, lawyer: wy
'.And' do you call yourssII1 lAn
"Why you murthe~o o-N '''H' uo =
look like gi-'
D,~~AND THE DoCToRs--A son of
ca who was very angry when joke ,
Mas passed on physicians, once defended
himself from railery, by saying: II defy
any person whom l ever attended to ac-
cuse me ofignorance and neglect " 'That
you may do safely" replied a wag, ''tor
dead men tell no tales"
A PENNY.-A gsoa woman called on
Dr RI one 1ay in great deal of
trouble and saIher son had swallowed a
nonny .lPAy, madam said the Doctor,
i,,narit pun'i Counterfeit p "No sir, certain
u no. was the reply Then it will
~, of course" rejoined the fcetious
MUSICIAN
How THE ATLANTIC CisLE Broke
I ou remember the poef gull who went
lown glued to the cable. His murder
most foul has been amply reyenged. His
lead carcass was bali fr the hungry
Monsters of the deep. re snapped
zp-and the cable sev .ei wlll ) bite
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