Anti-slavery bugle. [volume] (New-Lisbon, Ohio) 1845-1861, 1859-04-30
Miscellaneous.
SHADOWS, THEN SUNSHINE.


window to catch the sweet breezes of the morn.
ing os they swept up from the green meadow
lands, cocl and delicious. Lines of misty, golden
light were s!anting down from the h%ill'tors, maxi
ing amber paths across the green, dewy fields, and
amber ladders fiOm one tree.top to another,
through all the wide expanse of woods that my
eye, could reach. Under the window, roses and IL
laos bi%ossomed-the roses tossing their red and
white. and tho lilacs their cloudy purple clusters,
backward and forward, meeting as if to exchange
kisses, aud ningle in one sweet breath their united
fragrances.
e But what were the sunlight. the trees, the dewy
fields and flowers to me9 | might not go out freely
among them my feet could not press the greer
grass Of the fields | might not wander where the
breezes made anthems through the trees; my
hands might not pluck the simplest flower which
bent forward TO meet their weary outstretching.--
must work, for labor was the ouly gift for me
whether | made it a pleasure or a curse, it was the
only alternative. And so with tears in my eyes,
which the sun light mockiogly bridged across with
golden bars, l seated myself to my daily task
There was a great we'll Of bitterness within my
heart, which, with the rigorous will, | could
hardly keep from overlow'ing-a passion
sionate upheaving OF my deep, w~omanly na,
ture, which in vain l tvieG to press backward
into the quiet channel it had always known. In
vain, for it surged up to catch tho light and the
sh4dows, which, even in my bitterest moments |
,hut my heart against. 1t was a strange time to
me can you comprehend it, renderH a time
when | denied everything for fear that was the
sweet foundation Of q hope.
Work, work, work !" l said again. pressing
my fingers close upon my eyes, and letting fall the
garment on which l had been sewing, Il wish ]
might die, die" My tears fell thick and fast. ]
wished ( might weep my life away.
"Nelfy-Nelly, dear, you will weep so long that
there will be a duh heavy graveness upon every
thing. Look up, l have something TO say to you
Before the words fell upon my ear, | recognized
q presence near me, a soul that mine leaped up in
great waves of joy to meet. Words were not want
ed to insure me of the presence Of Charles Howard
In a moment the smiles gathered upon my face
and involutarily l unclasped my hands from M
eyes to meet the steady, penetrating gaze of tht
man | loved.
NOW, now, Nelly, we have the rainbows p h
said, drawing q chair, and seating himself clos,
by my side, and at the Same time tossing careless
iy tue lBuI ulTy TOUe WHICH L was iHdhluS ului
the table. TELL me what troubles you"
: For some reason the bitterness within me flowed
up to my lips when l opened them to speak.
II am weeping for joy" | said, turning my
head away from him. as i. to be wondered at?'
mot. if your heart in its outstretchings can di
vine the future,' was his answer,
care you a prophet" said !, "that you speak
with such authority"
II Judge your future by your own heart, Nelly
said he. II will not believe that it tells IN,
wrongly"
reached out my hand for my work, without re
plying, as he sail this. A determination ros
within me not to listen idly, like a pleased chic
to his words even though they sent the warm bloc
dashi1g over my face, and quickened to wildne:
the pulsation of my heart. l was a poor, depen(
cnt sewing girl, and Charles Howard was ricl
fproud, and Of a high family. What knew of til
% world, all the education Icould lay claim to, ha
been gathered by piece.meal and yet l was nj
ignorant. lie was an elegant, polished man,
tease inSany station-a man who had seen tt
sTworld without. entering into iHto its busy, bustlin
9ornnks, and from seeing had turned away, wear
and discontinued.
From the moment | saw him, when he came
spend the summer with TIE proud Langdons, wi
whom I was living, 7 knew him wholly and well
IL for years had been permitted to read his hea
as, freely as a written scroll. People said he be vi
the betrothed husband of his naughty cousin, Lei
ta Langdon, and judging by whstI saw daily I ha
no right to dispute it. Indeed, l thought it vel
probable; and with mo there was ever this swe
assurance--I could understand him ard apprecia
him, as she could not could bring by my words
smile to his lip that she might try in vain to sun
mon there. lie might give her the husks Of h
soul, the outward make believe devotion, but
could see into his inner life, and knew that not
moment was her proud, arrogant face daguerre
TYPED there. lie was by her side in all the glitt'
and show Of fashionable society, but he came
me for sympathy when he was weary and dishear
ened when the eyes of the world were turned
moment from the worship Of its idol.
But the day. before the morning on which
found me weeping, Letitia spoke harshly and il
~sultingly to me, haunting me. with my low nan
and calling, and with an angry light in her dar
eyes told me if | dared raise my plebian voice
speak to those far above me, she would have n
turned into the street like a beggar as was.
have often wondered since how l bore so meekl
without retorting her insolent words; l can n
say, unless it was for the sweet love that had place
me, for the time, far beyond the reach of h
taunts.
81 judged your future by your own heart % +
peated Charles, attempting as he spoke to dra
my work from me again. "oh, Nelly, bid I
hope that have not judged wrongly"
What right had | to tremble with delight at
welcome wordsf What right had the warm, te
tale bushes to write for his perusal m, secret up
brow, lip and cheek? | vas poor, and what rig
had | to woman's love and joy, Charles Howe
vas O proud man-what could he want of
dover The thought was torturing to me, and W
a quick spasmodic effort, | said to him, "Do
tasnt me, Mr., Howard. l dc not deserve 4
from you."
.,"I''Taunt you, dearest" he said, drawing me p
issionately towards bim. "Taunt you who ha