Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1859-06-29
"Then what ails your"
ooh, I've got it all arranged at last-rve

"Then what ails your"
"oh, I've got it all arranged at last-rvF
got 'em nowE
Who what2 2'
"Why, Malinda and that vagabond Reuber
Sparks-ha ha | I'll surprise him."
sob, its all right" said Joe, laughingly
"Tll fix the sneaking critter."
But how-how, Joe2 Can't you speal
out? What's got in the boy?" cried the ole
lady, dying with curiosity to know what wa'
his plan;
"Well, now will tell you all about it" be
gan Joe, assuming more sober tone.
"Well, Just wish you would"
"You know the widder has always favored
my keeping company with Malinda ?"
"Well"
"And do believe she is desperate down OF
that feller, Sparks, coming into her family
eyes"
"In that csse she wouldn't very Willingly
let her property 60 into his hands,"
"But cording to the will of old Mr.. Martin
the property eint to go out Of her hands til
she is dead"
"Just so-but Sparks would have all thu
benefit. And now I'm coming to the poin
its just there I'm going to floor Reuber
Sparks"
Well, do let me hear"
"The widder Martin herself amt bae
looking woman" Joe remarked, in sort o
mysterious tone of voice, glancing up sudden
ly into his mothers face.
"No; but what's that got to do with the
matter ~ replied the old lady, impatiently.
"And she amt very old, neither" continued
he, with the same Dir.
"Why, she cant he more'n forty"
$50 should think; and she has good
chance of livin forty more"
"Well, what of it p
"Just this" said Joe, leaning over to hii
mothers ear" I'll marry the widder"
Mrs. Chickweed, expected as she was
something startling, wasn't prepared for this
She uttered an exclamation of unbounded
surprise, startled upward from her seat, and
then sank back and fixed her eyes with va
cant stare upon her sons face.
"Well," said Joe, ~ hope you don't see
anything agin it."
"No-no," stammered his mother, recover
ing somewhat from the shock she had re
ceived shut are you really in airnest, Joe
will you marry the widder?'
"To be sure | will, that's the whole of it.
I'm going up to see her this very day. I'll
marry her, if she'll have me, and be revenged
on Malinda for dotting me as she has for that
blasted Sparks. I'll teach 'em what's what. !"
Joe was as good as his word. He sought
the widow and made his proposal. She was
more astonished than she knew how to express,
but she was more grati6ed than astonished
Fresh and fair as she was, considering her
years, she had never given over the idea OF
winning another husband; but it had never
entered her head that she could procure so
young and es.imable q prize as Joe Chickweed.
Joe made special proviso in his proposal,
that they should be married privately the day
before the marriage of Sparks with the widows
da .ghter, and it should be kept secret till
sbat wedding hal taken place. To this the
widow readily agreed, although it was q hard
task for her to restrain the enjoyment she ex.
perienced and prevent the secret being dis.
covered.
The evening before the nuptials of Sparks
and Malinda at length arrived, and all the
preparations for the ceremony on the ensuing
day were completed. When the darkness had
fairly set in, while Malinda was 80 occupied
with the conversation of her soon-to-be hus-
baud as to be completely oblivious to all else,
Mrs. Martin cautiously left the house, and
meeting Joe near at hand, she fastened with
him to the residence of the Chickweeds. The
minister, who had been duly admonished to
secrecy, was in attendance and in less than
half an hour thereafter, Joe was married man,
and the No longer widow was on her way back
to her home-parting from Joe with single,
but enormous kiss, with which he was content
to satisfy himself considering what was to fol-
low from so doing on the morrow.
The wedding passed off next day to the en-.
tire satisfaction of all parties. The affair took
place in the morning, at the residence of the
bride, and at the hour of noon all the guests,
with the exception of Joe Chickweed, depar.
ted. Why he remained so long, it puzzled
the newly married to surmise, as they had not
supposed he would be present at all. Joe
took it very easily, however, and seemed quite
embarrassed by the occasional bantering Of
the happy Sparks.
"S'pose," said Joe, addressing himself to
the newly made husband, as they were assem-.
bled in the parlor together, "I s'pose you'll
take up your residence in the village right
away-buy you nice house and live fashion.
ably?"
10 no." replied Mr.. Sparks" don't know
as SHALL"
"Whats well, now, I calc'late you don't
have any idea of settling on farm ?-you
amt used to that work, you work."
"Don't know but I may" said Sparks, as
suming careless air and tone; "coming on
hot weather, you know, and living in town is
bore in summer. Yes, I think I shall try
country life for while I amt in the best Of
health, and farm life may improve me-"
SWELL" responded Joe, deliberately " "can't
say that I'm sorry you're going to stay With
US. I think myself that it would be 10 your
benefit to work on farm for q while and
we'll try to make ii as comfortable for you as
we CAM
Mr.. Sparks looked at him they then look.
ed at one another and laughed.
mo doubt" remarked Mr.. Sparks, "you'll
make very agreeble neighbos-very agree
able indeed"
"Oh, we'll be nearer than neighbors good
sight---of course we WILL" said Joe, glancing
with look of intelligence towards the former
widow.
Again Mr.. and Mrs. Sparks glanced at one
another, but this time they didn't laugh.
"What do you mean ?" they asked, stimuli.
taneously.
"Oh, excuse me forgot that you didn't
know what transpired. The factis, the widow
here and myself taking a mutual liking to
each other, were married last night! We
should have invited you to the wedding, but
we knew you were engaged"-
"What married~ ~ cried Mr.. Sparks, spring,
ing to his feet, while o look of horror over.
spread his features. His wife sat pale as q
ghost utterly unable to speak word.
"Certainly y, married." said Joe, coolly.
"Is this so ?" be inquired, turning to the
late widow.
"You may rely upon all he says" she re.
piled.
"Then have been swindled-imposed up.
on-deceived. And you knew of this also,
and led me on !" he continued, in violent