Anti-slavery bugle. [volume] (New-Lisbon, Ohio) 1845-1861, 1859-01-15
miscellaneous.
MRS. GALLAGHER ON UNCLE TOMS CAB,
INA STORY,
ny GEORGE ROY.

It's a very safe advice that my lrien' Mrs. Arm
strong gies on a occasions, that is, IL ye can say
nae guide o a body say uacthing about them ava
That's the policy that | am gaun to adopt in refer
ence to my acquaintance Mrs. GALLAGHER, but there
can be nae harm in my gie'in' you a bit sketch o
what she said to mo the ither day, and leayin' VOC
to form your ain opinion o her ejliship.
happened to meet Mrs. GALLAGHER 10 The heus,
o. mutual acquaintance, and in The course o con
conyersatiOn | happened to spjer at Mrs. GALLAGHER
IL she had read that wonderful bouk, Uncle rom',
Cabin No. buo' she, nor never intend to read
it il everybody had been as muekle annoyed a,
I've been wi that abomiroLle book, there would
be less fuss about it, Bless me- QUO I, 4 can
ma SEQ hoo sc can hae been annoyed by sic a book
as that Maybe quo she, but | can soon giC
you proof positive o. the fact. The first time
heard O. Uncle Toms Ca in was about -four
months sim, when a 3ripl lie cousin O. mine wha
lives in the country and spends his time in read
ing books and feeding birds, sent our BARNS a pair
O. pigeons. a black aue and a whi.e ane, wi strict
injunctions that they were to lie taken great care
o, as they were very rare specimens, and be had
cbristened them Eva and Topsey, after tbose won.
cerful characters in that wonderful book, Uncle
Toms Cabin Moo, We see, | neither kent nor
cared on thing about Eva and Topsey, but | kent
j. was the heiget O. nonsense wastin' guild meat
feedin' fat docs, so | very cannily twisted the
necks o bath Eva and Topsey. and ma 10 them
into q nice bit pye for Mr.. Gallachcr's supper and
mine. For I'm no ane that believes in folks living
on tau,ies and saul when they're by themsels, and
keepin a bits O niceties to max a show at a party.
! think if ye are to hae o~nything nice in the cook.
cry way, ye should hae't when ye're by yoursels
when We can get the guild OF. So when | had my
bit pye prepared, l gad e ems errand to the ba.
ker wit mysel, and gied strict injunctions that it
was to be done a beautifu' broom. Weel, would
ye believe it? when the pye cam hame it was
burned to a perfect cinder, perfectly UNBEATABLE
and when l gaed to the baker to make my com.
plant. he just Taught in my face and said, 'Ye
must really excuse US on this occasion, fer every
ene's head seems turned with that wonderful book.
! entrusted your pye to ny auldest apprentice, a
very careful young man in general, but it being in
the evening, he got so absor Bit in Uncle Toms
Cabin that be quite forgot your pye till the smell
OF bulnin' wauken'd the youngest prentice, wha
happened to be s%lecpin' on the bakin' table,
That was my introd uction to that abominable book,
Uncle Toms Cabin"
Weel, the next OF was this Mr.. GALLAGHER and
me were invited to the examination O. a Sunday
school. No that we take muckle interest in ony.
thirg o. that kind. Mr.. GALLAGHER and me are bath
O. opinion that the dark places O. the earth have
been and will be the habitations o cruelty, for "a
that simple folk may think they can 90 for them
but there was a number o our customers interest
ed in this school. and we had to gle them a sub.
scriptiop Cf nnursa wa rulhit theu off WI as lit
tie as possible, but still we had to subscribe. So
when the examination O. the school cam on, we're
bath invited. Mr.. GALLAGHER wasna for gaun, but
seem that We had glen the siller, l thought it best
to gang and let oursels be seen. So we gaed to
the examination, and a very tiresome affair it was.
Well after a. the classes are examined the teacher
said that ony O. the patrons present might If they
pleased, pat a few questions to the scholars. l
wanted Mr.. GALLAGHER TO put a question or twa,
but be said ne would do n~aething Of the sort. He
said he didna mind o~nything about the questions
Indeed he said he didna mind what they were
absut ava so | just slept forrit myself, and askit
q big wiselike lump O. a laddie if he could answ ell
the simple question, VIVA made him2 VII that
the hddic folded his hands, and turnin' up the
white O. his cen. in a real droll sneeviliDg tone,
answered me, Nobody as | knows; | specks
Crowd Well. in place O. bein' anyway ashamed
o. the ladies ignorance, bath teacher and schOl
ars, and a. the visitors, burst out into a roar O. vul'
gar laughter, as if they were iaughin' at me. And
what do you ihiuk ? The teacher told me when ]
was leavin' the school that the boy | had ques'
toned was ane O. the most advanced scholars in
the school, and had been SO indignant at the sim
plic;ty o my question, that he had answered me
in the language o. that wonderful book, Uncle
Toms Cabin Advanced scholars'-Im thinkin
they'll be considerably further advanced before
they get anither subscription from me.
I, wasna mony days after this fine examination
till I made arrangements to gang to the coast t
look for a house. l aye like to gang Draw an eur
ly and meet in wi a timrous body that's fear
their house Ill no be let, and if you can persuad
them that it's likely to stand empty. and max
iudicious bargain, whites, by sublettin' tho house
you can hae your ain saul water for n%aethirg, an
profit esides. This year | had made up my min
that ! was to gang 10 Kilcreggan, for / had ay
like to gang to the most fashionable place. So
had 70 taxi Nelly wi me to tax charge o. the wear
That iassie Nelly's a puzzle to me for a that Nv
done for her, takin' her out O. the pOOr's hOus'
and what not, an for a. the blows that lie on he
bod Y, size has nae mair respect for me than if
wasna her MISTRESS. At ony rate l had 70 tai
Nelly doom the water wi me, TO TAX charge o. th
Ucan. Weel, when we're comm near about Greer
oek, a gentleman, an acquaintance o Mr.. Gallf
cher's, wha had been noddin several times on tn
way doom, came up TO me, and askit me If ] woni
gang doom to the stewards cabin and get a refresi
nent (catch me buying onJthing in the shape
drink Oh board o. . steamboat nysei-I ken owe
wesl ths way they charge-but this is costir
me nasthing). so I agreed to gang doom, but befoI
xoiu' / gied Nelly strict injunctions that she We
to keep a sharp look ont for Kilcregan, and to ca
me up before we came 10 the quay ~eei Nell
promised faithfully. and doom We sent The ger
tisraa MAS very ~genteel: he called for brandy
So / sat what 1 thought was a very lev minnit'