The Council Bluffs nonpareil. [volume] (Council Bluffs [Iowa]) 1857-1867, 1859-07-09
AVOIDING THE RESPONsInILITy.


Brothers Crump and Noel were members
of the church, and both clever, honest men,
who paid their taxes and debts, as the same
annually accrued, with n regularity ut once
christian and commendablc. If, when the
settling day came round, BrothekNoel was
"short," Brother Crump was sure to be in
seemed proyidential now, if Brother Crump
surplus. Thus, borrowing from and lend
ing 70 each other, woTshirpins at the same
church and living mile apart an intimacy
! gradually ripeped between them; so at last
they did not hesitate to speak in the frank
even in regard to their respectives foibies.
Now, it came to pass that brother Crump
during the liveliest period of the cotton
season, drove into Wetumpka and disposed
of his ''crop" of ten bales, at the very fair
price of twelve and half cents per pound.
it was more than he expected, and, as tho
world was easy with him, he determined to
invest, and did actually invest portion Of
the proceeds Of the sale of the cotton in
barrel of Western whiskey, paying therefor
at the rate Of precisely two pounds.of mid
ding cotton for one gallon of ''do,'
whiskey. OF course it was "nArated in the
settlement that old Crump had bought O.
whole barrel, and after Il few weeks people
began to observe that his nose grew redder
and his eyes more moist. The idea that
| Brother Crump was s'drinking too much'
dilf'used itself in the eighbOrhood, until
as one might say, it became epidemical.--
People talked and talked-more especially
''what few other denomination Of Christians
| there were thereabout."
Brother Noel was ''sorc troubled at the
scandal, and especially regretted the injury
| it brought to society at Sharon. So one
morning he stepped over to Brother Crump's
and found the old man in doZe in the little
porch.
"Won't you take a dram?n asked Brother
| Crump, as soon as he was made aware OF
the presence Of his neighbor. "Why, yes;
! Pm not agin dram when body wants
| it,
Brother Crump got his bottle, and the
friends took dram apiece. "Don't you
think, Brother Noc.,' said Crump, "that
spertes is hlessin - "Yes," replied
Noel, "sperites is Ii bIessin' that some Of US
abuses" "Wcl!, now, brother Noel, who
do you think abuses the blessin:' ''Neil,
it is hard to say-but people talk-d0L't
! You think that you drink little too much,
Brother Crump. "Solnstimes Fve thought
| was drinkln' too much, and then agln Id
| think mGyb' not. What is man? A weak
wOEruHt Of the dust So left il to the
Lord to say whether was goin' too far
IN sperltes. put the whole sponsbility on
him. prayed .f was drink too much for
him to take away my appetite for sper-
| its" Here Brother Noel groaned piouslv,
and ASKED: "What then, Brother Crump.'
"And,' replied Crump, GIVE prayed that
prayer three times, and be hain't done
it. So l'm clear Of the 'sponsibility, aoy
way"
The Lords VIII he doneH' calculated
Noel, and after tuAins another dram lie
went home, thinking al! the way how cev~
! erv Brother Crump had cleared the respon.
sibslity.-iiuJuma paper.
MATE LITTLE ROW."
Recently good honest looking Irishman
was brought into court on a charge Of
assault and battery. The complainant
was also an I-iSInman, and the mate
little row." shsy had originated as fol-
lows:
Patrick went to Michacl's shantv lust by
the La Crosse depot, to borrow Il hand saw.
Michael was out after baa Of potatoes-so
Patrick concluded to wait until bis return.
and, :or about half an hour, cniovcd n
pleasant chat With Katy. Mchael's wife.
hen Michael returned, Patrick and ka.y
sat by the co5i stove, their feet on rhs
hearth, rs sOujuhlt as two neirhbors conId
be. Patrick had his arm on the back of
katy's chair, which reused n fccI;nr ~
ealousy in the manly bosom Of Michael: and
after setting down his pototoes he Sane
out
'Pat, ve dirty d.yil, an what for he y.
atther now:'
"Attter is It? Sure am | would like to
get YER aDsuw to make bottom for tb,
trunnel bed, to put the children in -
''An' why the dyil didn't vez take the
saw, and make yer trcnnel- -bed?''
"Aisv now. Nichcy dear. an, i worrl,,t
loos well for me to take of yer saw widout
leaf, now would it Mickey -
''fes is right smart Paddy, now amt
We! An for what si.s 70 -bor, ill., -.