The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1859-07-29
HUMOROUS eLRANINCn.
ng There i 4 man AZ t,ans,a,,y.

I - There IS man at Canberwell
so fat that they grease the omnibus
wheels with his shadow.
| o. lady was dreadfully atfrpnted
the other day because a gentleman ac-
costed her as IAN old friend.n
sea- This is whatthe call fellow
feeling for man, said Ioafer, as q
watchman was grouping for him in the
dark.
/ ~ Pious Gentleman NY boyl
my boy youdo very wrong to fish on
a Sundayp Boyle can't be any
harm, sir-I amt catch'd nothing
II Tommy, my son what are YOU
doing there with your feet dangling in
the water 2 Tying to catch cold ma,
so that | lean have some of them cough
lozengers you gave me yesterday
/ 6r A German physician has pub.
| lished tract in which he takes the
ground that ladies Of weak nerves
should not be permitted to sleep alone.
There are many who will agree with
| him.
/ ~ What mora precious Offering
can be laid upon the altar Of q mans
heart than the first love of pure, ear
nest and afectionate girl, with an un.
divided interest in eight corner lots
and fourteen three story houses
or Tom--Don't you think some
verses would touch her, Charley, a
beautiful pome? Charley--Oh, hang
your verses, Tom. If you want to
enjoy life, drop poetry and the gals ale
together, and jiue fire company.
~ 1t is said that girl in Pitts
field was struck dumb by the firing Of
a cannon. Since then number of
married men have invited the artillery
to come and discharge their pieces on
their premises.
EsThe latest case of absence Of
mind is that of ship carpenter Who
bit off the end Of a copper spike and
drove plug of tobacco into the vea-
tsels bottom. He did not discover Lis
mistake till The ship spit in his face.
| nEA- A young Irishman. who had
married when about 10 years Of age,
complaining Of the difficulty TO which
his early marriage had subjected him,
said he would never marry 80 young
again. if he lived to be as old as Me-
tthusalem."
| nEA- A pair Of sweet lips, a pressure
or two OF delisate hands, and pink
waist ribbon, viii do as much to un-
hinge man as three fevers, measels,
large sized whooping cough. pair Of
lockjaws, several hydrophobia, and the
doctors bill.
GT A man who had brutaIIy as
saulted his wife was brought before
Justice Cole, Of Albany, lately, and
had good deal to say about getting
Justice. Justice, replied Cole, ayou
can get it here. This court has no
} power to hang you"
- A man having hurt bis fore
head, was advised to rub it with brandy.
!. Some days after, being asked if had
done 80. he promptly answered /:
g Well, / have tried several times, but
: can never get the glass higher than
my mouth A general failing, that.
SZ- Many women prefer the shall
lowest praise to the deepest affection.
Lord Peterborough said 10 Pope, !"
have more than once seen a woman
) turn from lover 10 fattsrer.' All,
!, my lord, that was good many years
ago"
/, @ Scene, religious bookstore
Ragged hoy, with taste for startling
J liieraturel =" | want a copy Of the
+ Reveugeful Rover Of the RemorseIes;
i Relf. orr CLERK We haven't got Il
!. my son. Boy Haven't got the Re
. yengeful Roser9 How do you expect
7 to make living if you don't keep tue
literature Of the dayg
neA- Rev. Mr.. ---, an eccentrit
D preacher in NJ chigan, was olding
4 forth not long since in Detroit. 4
e young man arose to 60 ont, when th,
preacher said /: Young man. il ycl
would rather go to hell than to hear n
preach, you can gog The sinner stor
ped and reflected moment, and Cay
O. ing, respectfully, Well, ] believe
il would went on.
es n Mr.. Blank and his wife wei
sitting a few days sines quite Close
each other. in their home the husban
Us feeling somewhat lover-like. althoug
i for years married man. put bis an
arouud his wife and saluted her affe
tionately. The wife pushed him awa
saving. You should not do suc
thinOs wher fhe door IN oneY, and pe