Raftsman's journal. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1854-1948, 1859-05-18
HOW zEKE BENTON GOT A WIFE.

s0g Me- a6sl'' Dnan ma'sri inos writ I've
been putin climax on my life, by gettiu'
married. Now, you needn't hoist your eye
| brows, and wbissel-'causc it's all over
| When look back and kinder think of it coolly,
l lay it all to my going into the quire. Ned
and Bill Sims, and Joe Preston, and half
| dozen of 'em, had been at me more nor
month, wantin' me- meto come up and help
| 'em in the base, but fought shy, tellin' 'em
l never could sing in meetin'; but the truth
was, knOw'd I'd feel plaguy queer up among
all them gals, for female 'ciety always did
! take the starch out of me wondrous and aunt
Barbara, you remember, used to say that was
/ the awkardest feler among the young women
! that she ever did see. Wen, they pestered
me SO about goin', that what did do at last
! but go. I'd rather had double tooth out
/ twice over, but then was ashamed to say
''no" any more. So, on the next Sunday
mornin' after promised ZEN, l dressed some
| thin smarter thaQ ordinary, and scented my
| handkerchief with peppermint, and when l
/ got TO the church, had half a mind to give 1t
up, but just then Bill Sims come up and clap
ped me on the back, and sez he, '.Come Zeke,
! we're going to have prelude this mornin'
! We must turn out strong that - and so
| had nothin' else to do but just to go along up.
| Somehow or mother we went up the gals side,
! and when got to the top of the stairs, there,
sure enough, was the hull of 'em, and hearin'
Z
| but turn clean around and look straight at me.
| | tell you, felt streak-ed, and nay head be-
! gun to go round as il I'd been a drnkin'.
| | couldn't XacSly see which way to go, but L
| tried somehow TO git over where the fellers
was when the fust thing l know'd l miss'd
| the step, and went Sprawing head foremost,
and would have been down in the middle aisle,
| if it hadn't been for the front of the gallery.
| got up quick as | could, but my pantaloonS
was all dust, my coat was torn up the back,
and the gals was snickering as if they'd bust
| This made me kinder desperate so | sat down
and began to look at music book awful hard,
| just as if nothn' had happened. But didn't
! sing note that mornin', and never was so
glad as when meetin' was over. When the
! folks began to go out. l hung back lit
SO as to get away unbeknown but the rest zRt,
| them in the quire seemed to be awaitin' f0r
something, L had to push ahead, when I'll be
| bound II there was one of them gals there was
| dozen that seq, so provokin', ssWhy, Mr..
| Benton your coat is all tern,' just as if
! didn't know that. l didn't say nothin' back,
| but hurried out, and slipped round under the
shed till the folks was gone. Well, Abe, it
was three Sundays after that fore l went into
the quire again; for, by that time, guessed
| ii had all blown over, and Joe and the rest of
! 'em were at me all the while. That time l
TUX particular pains to be on hand soon as
the church doors were open, and got in the
quire seats fuS, so tux the gals, you see, one
al llulS- anu not All III u HESS iIhC DEIOTC.
Well, got along fust rate that day, and be-
gun after a few weeks to get quite used t. it,
when something new turned up. One Sunday
evening | had taken my place at the end of
the seat towards the gals; and just across the
little aisle at the end of the gals seat towards
US sat Hetty Burroughs. Now you recollect
| Hetty-you know you can't skeer up many
prettIer faces than she's got any way. Well,
that day her ribbon ffxins set her off astonish
en- We were short of music books, and so,
when standin' up to sing the fust hymn,
Hetty sezto me, sez she, ssMister Benton, will
you look over me?' l kinder started, but
tux hold. Well, when begun to sing i found
that my voice was a little fustic9ted, and that
made Hetty lux straight at me, md then l was
flusticated wuss, and then looked at her,
and then she got to shakn', and down went
the book clean the front. axe chunk"
it went, and made everybody jump. When
Hetty saw the book fall, she came nigh faint
ing, and grabbed my arm-not purpose, you
know, but kinder accidental. Well Abe, it
was that what did it. For you see when meet
in was over, ,Hetty sez to me, as we was going
out. sez she, s.Mr. Benton, was confused
didn't know what l was about. l beg your
pardon for taking hold of your arm.'' '.Lor,
ma'am,' - seq |, sswhy liked it.'' And then
Hetty blushed, and didn't say nuthIn.' And
then seq /, 81 only wish you'd just take hold |
OF my arm, and let me see you home.' Wei, |
do you believe il, there was Hetty and me a
walking nome lDdL evenings atLA III
When | lett Der, and got to our house, | set |
down, and it, was for all the world like a
dream. | set up all night rubbing my eyes, |
and thinking and then I'd guess it wasn't me |
but some other feller. Wall, the folks in the |
house didn't know what to make OF me for |
l went on mighty curious, and not as used !
to. was considerable 'stracted and couldn't |
eat nothin,' and L broke a tumbler, meat |
dish, and two cups all in one day. As this |
was being rather expensive, the folks couldn't |
stand it any better nor me.
Next day. after our walk home, / went to |
see Hetty, thinkin' I'd have a glorious time !; |
but when got to the house | set like a num- |
my, and couldn't get up steam to say nuthin' |
nice. You see there nothing there like |
a music to start us. Well, see Hetty |
off and on for fortnight longer, and all the
town got talkin' how was sparkling Hetty |
Burroughs, and then l made up my mind that |
what was to be was to be, and so | calculated |
maxim the thing sartin as soon as possible. |
seed that Hetty wasn't vexed at my stoppin'
in so often and when gal amt vexed at you |
in such circumstances, you may be sure she's |
rather taken with you. That's my flosophy-
you may want to use il sometimes, Abe. So |
one evenin' as l was sittin' by Hetty, and |
had worked myself up to the sticking pint, |
sez l, ssHetty, if feller should ask You to |
marry him, what wud you say 20 Then she
laughed, and sez she, ssThat would depend on |
who asked me.'' Then seZ |, ssSuppose it was /
Ned Willis" Sez she, ''Id tell Ned Willis, |
but not you.'' That kinder staggered me- |
But was too cute to loose the opportunity,
and SO sez agen, ssSuppose it was me ?'' |
And then you ought to have seen her pout up /
her lip,and sez she, 81 don't take no supposes."
Well, now. You see there was nothing tor ne
to do bat touch the gun of. So bang It
went. Sez I, '.Lor, Hettys it's me. WONT
you say yesf' And then there MAS aGch a (
huliabailoo IN my head, don't know exact i