Dakota City herald. [volume] (Dakota City, Neb.) 1857-1860, 1859-09-17
Mr.. Browns MiShaps.


Mr. Eliphalet Brown was bachelor Of
thirtv.fve or therabout, one of those men who
seem to be born to pass through the world
alone. Save this peouIiarity, there was moth,
ing to distinguish Mt Brown from the multi
tude Of other Browns who are born, grown up
and die in this world Of ours.
II CHANGED that Mr.. Brown had occasion
&c visit town some fifty miles distant on
matter Of business 1t was his FIRST visit TO
the place, aud he proposed stopping for day,
in order to give himself an opportunity to
look about
Walking leisurely along the street he was
oil at once accosted by a child of Ave, who
ran up to him excloiming
Father want you to buy me some more
candy"
Father" was it possible that he a bache
lor, was addressed by that title He could
not believe it.
"Who were you speaking to my dearg' he
inquired of the little girl
q spoke to you father" said the little one
surprised.
"Really" thought Mr.. Brown, this is EN-
barrasssing
81 am not your father my dear" he said,
"what is your name q
The child phedheartily, evidently think
ing it good joke.
What funny father you are, she said,
but you are going to buy me some candy"
"Yes, yes III buy you pound if you won't
call me father any more said Mr. Brown
nervously
The little girl clapped her hands with de-
light The promise was all she remembered
Mr. Brown proceeded to confectionery
store, and actually bought pound of candy,
which he placed in the hands o! the little
girl
In coming ont Of the store they encounter
ed the chld's mother
"Oh, mother" said the little girl Gust
see how rnucb candy father has bought for
me-
you shouldn't have bought her so much
at time, Mr.. Jones, said the lady, q am
afraid she will make herself sick But how
did YOU happen to get home so quick? did
not expect you till night
"Jones-I--madame, said the embarras
ed Mr. Brown, its all mistake; l amt
Jones at all It isn't my name am Eli
phalct Brown, of W, and tais is the
first time | eve came into this city"
Good heavens Sir. Jones what has put
this silly tale into your head? You have
concluded to change your name, have you
Perhaps it is your intention to change your
wife"
Mrs Jones tone was now defiant, and this
tended to increase Mr.. Browns embarrass
mcnt
u haven't any wife, madam; never had
any. On my word as gentleman, never was
married
And do You intend to palm this tale of
upon me /? said Mrs Jones, with excitement
"Ifyou are not married Id Ike to know who
am ~
81 have no doubt you are a most respect
able lady" said Mr. Brown, "and l coniec.
ture, from what you have said, that your
name is Jones, but mine is Brown, madame,
and always was
"Melinds, said the mother suddenly taxi
ing her child by the arm, aud leading her up
to Mr.. Brown, Melinda who is this gentle
man2'
"Why, that's faiherr" was the cbilds i'm
mediate reply, as she confidently placed her
hand in his
"You hear that Mr. Jones do you2 You
hear vhat the Innocent child says, and yet
you have the unbushing impudence to deny
that you arc my husband The voice of
nature speaking through the child, should
overwhelm you. I'd like 20 know, if you are
not her father, why you are buying candy for
her? But presume you never saw her be,
fore in yourlife'
81 never did. On my honor, 1 never did.
/ told her ! would give her the candy if she
wouldn call me father any more"
"You did, did you2 Bribed your child
not to call you father2 Oh, Mr. Jones, that
is infamous Do you intend to desert me to
the cold charities Of the world2 And is this
your first step2"
Mrs, Jones was so overcome that, without
warning, she fell back upon the sidewalk in
fainting it,
Instantly number Of persons ran TO her
assistance,
'Is your wife subject to fanting is this
wayY asked the first conner, Of Brown
"She isn't my wife. | don't know anything
about her
"Why, its Mrs Jones sin'tit?
"Yes, but / Im not Mr. Jones