The south-western. [volume] (Shreveport, La.) 1852-1870, 1859-02-23

'o9S4SA 4 "''~'-' N''I -
We all recollect the verbfseness of the old styl,
Of pleadings before the courts were purged Of the
r,rolixity by the "Code" An indictment for a sim
pI misdemeanor, was SO l3ng and Giresome that
victim, against whom one Was "folnd, "-would al
.1ost plead guilty" to GIT rid Gf the bore of its
raading. Under this system, an indictment was
fulnd against Joel Nash, simple minded back
woodsnan, of c. county, f3r allting" and "bat
tering" one ~Joe Davis" Nash had simply knock
cd Davis down for some trivial insult. and Davis
through malice had IN formed the al torney general O
lie affair." and the grand jury had found true bill
arainst Nash The case came up and Joel call
al. The attorney general who reads an indictment
With peculiar gusto, upon Joels appearance at the
BAR drew his indictment, aud began to read of the
prisoners not having the fear of God before his
eyes, but being moved and Iiustigated by the devil
did, in the county aforesaid, at Ec, d., aforesaid
against the peace and dignity Of the State, assault
with divers sticks, bludgeops, blocks of wood, logs
oars of iron, pistols, bowie knives daggers, dirks
rkansas h-picks, brick bats ami stones, in and
lpon the head, neck, breast arms, belly, abdomen,
EGGS, knees, and feet, of the said Davis make di
vers wounds contusons bruises, bumps, cuts, stabs
oles and burns, DC, de- Nash, uneasy from the
hrst upon the reading OF the INDICTMENT, began to
growpale and nervous. He twisted and squrmed.
and twas all his counsel could do 70 prevent his in
terrupting the attorney general.
"Oh, heavens" thought Joel, "did that dud rotted
Joe Davis swear to all them lies! if he did, Pm a
gone COON" .
After the attorney general had finished the read
ing, he turned to JOEL and said:
"oel Nash, what say you to the charge in this in
dicment2 Are you guilty, Or not guilty?'
Joel sprang to his feet, and said:
"Not guilty to that piece Wv paper squire, but
jes slapped Joe Davis over, fur callid liar.
Joel's appearance of anguish at 6eng accused of
bruising aud beating up Joel Davis in such a man
ner, and his to the charge, b as irresistible,
and court, bar and all, laughed nm bderately. Joel
was fined ST and costs, upon his plea of guilty
and the members Of the bar raised the amount for
him.
There is a strange phrase connectE Id with the art
Of the photographer which think inlay be found in
most if not all modern languages, ''Eo write like an
angel" Ladies have been frequently compared to
angelsg they beautiful as angels and sing and
dance like angels; but however Ineligible these
are, We do not easily connect penm4nshlp with the
other celestial accomplishments. The very fanciul
phrase, however, has human originl Among those
learned Greeks, who emgraed to Italy, and after
wards into France, in the reign of Frances l., was
one Anglo Vergecio, whose beautiful photography ex
cited the admiration Of the learned The French
monarch had Greek font Of type east modelled
from his writings. The learned Henry Stephens
who like our Poron for correcl mess AND deicacY was
Of the most elegant writers of Grpek had learn
ed the practice from our Angelo. His name became
synonymous for beautiful writing aid gave birth to
the vulgar phrase 'to write like Angel"
N woman can be handsome by tie force of fea-
ture alone, any more than she can BIZ witty only by
the help Of speech. Nor is she capable of being
:,
me thinks, low and degrading idea of that sex,
which created to refine the ioya and soften the
cares of humanity by the agreeable participa-
ton, to consider them objects Of sight. She
who takes care to add to the natural graces Of her
person any exceing qualities, may te allowed still
to amuse as picture but not to triumph beauty
Adam, in relating the impressions I'D felt upon see
ing Eve, at her first creation does ndt represent her
as Grecan Venus by her shape or failures, but by
the lustre of her mind, which shorIe in them and
gave the power of charming.
Mr. being invited to dine together with several
persons at the house of respectable magistrate at
Ipswich, very vain person, who sat bit table boast
ed that he would dispute with any gentleman pre-
sent, upon any question that would be proposed,
either III divinity or philosophy. Al profound 81
lence ensued, until Mr. addressed him in these
words; 4 will 60 further than M, plate to puz-
gle you. Here is a sole; tell me the reason why
this fish, which hath always lived ih salt water,
should come outfresh2' As the bold thallenger did
not attempt an answer, the scor and laughter
of the company turned him to his very great
confusion
A Tennessee paper told, a few DAYS ago, Of an old
native, who, numbering eighty five yetrs never took
chew of tobacco, never smoked cigar, and never
had on pair of boots in his life. Georgia paper
now tells Of one to match, a Georgian, who though
eighty years Of age, not only boasts of what the old
Tennessecan has (no) done; but also that che
smoked pipe, ever had q drop OF spirits in his
mouth, (athough he served two campaigns in the
army and he has the past year moro than made
comfortable support by his labor.
Not many miles from Boston, two sisters by the
name Of Pepper employed in the same establish
ment; one of them has red hair, and goes by the
name of red pepper while her sistdr with black
hair, is known as black pepper A bale relative
$ also employed in the place, and is called
pepper and salt his hair fairly representing that
mixture.
An Old Dominion paper has the foil owing: "In
he public square, at Monroe, Union colay, Virgil
MA, by Z. @ Wilson, esq Mr., Thomas Watts, aged
-, to Miss Mary Hayler, aged 65 both paupers.-I
The marriage fee was made up by subscriptions
among the Witnesses and ten cents worth Of candy
distributed round to commemorate the happy event.
Poetry, says one, is the flower of literature;
orose is the corn blank verse The meath satire is the
quRfortis; wit is the spice and pepper oye-etters
arc the honey and sugar, and danninglfters arethe
ametics; letters containing renhttance9 are the APP
Die dumplings.
Deity is written on the flowers that sweeten the
r upon the breeze that rocks the flowers upon their
TEN, upon the raindrops that refresh le sprig of
he moss that lifts its head in the desert; upon its
eepchambers on every pencled Sheet THAT sleeps in
caverns of the deep, no less than upon the mighty
sun that warns and cheers millions of creatures.
IA young lady having asked surgeon why wo-
nan was made from the rib of man in preference to
ny other bone, he gave the following gallant
Eer: She not taken from the head, lest She |
Mould rule over him. nor from the feet eBt he should
ample upon her. but she was taken from his side |
nat he might protect her, from next his heart, that
ia might cherish and love her
The moral cement of society is virtue; it unites /
md preserves, while vice separates and DESTROYS
he good may well be termed the salt OF the earth /
Or where there is integrity, there can be no CON
Gienoe; and where there is no confidence there can
BE- unanlmity
Man has an irresistible inclination to believe that
is unobserved if unable to perceive In this re-
meet he is similar children who shut their ewes in
order net to be seen. "Men are but children of
l5rger growth"
The girls wear so much scarlet this winter they
clad in bushes, like modest worth DIR boiled
sgoster. One we saw yesterday, wenr SO far as
n have vermilion slippers and red hair. No won
T the fire bells rang.
man boasted Of his knowledge of The world
len wag asked himif he had ever bedn in Alge-
pa 81 cannot exactly tell - said he f'tut think
Z ance passed on the coast"
steam doctor advertises in southern paper
b ii he has discovered system by which lie can
Ike out of an old man entire young man. and
hsge enough left to make puppy.
The Buffalo Republican, in commencing an ac-
count of fight, says, there terrible row in the
part Of the city last night which broke out in
hrae uages-Irish, English and profne
Al man being sympathised with on account of his
wiies running away. said, Don't pity me until she
mes back"
Gown in Georgia, grogshops are called Sucking
ode repositories"