The Grand Haven news. [volume] (Grand Haven, Mich.) 1858-18??, 1859-06-22

| lonely
Our path be o'er mountain or sea;
There are looks that will part from us only
| When memory ceases 10 be;
There are hopes which our burden can tighten,
Though toilsome and steep be the way;
And dreams that, like moonlight, can brighten
With light that is clearer than day."
APuzzLE.-Swennevahd hdnargehtrofebircsbus.
-"Much remains unsung," remarked a tom
cat as brick-bat cut short his serenade.
=" "This is CRATE prospect" as the prisoner
said in peeping out of his cell window.
-" Raising the Devil"-calIing the
printers boy out of bed in the morning.
- The sun is like God, sending abroad life.
beauty and happiness; and the stars like human
souls Tor all their glory come from the sun.
"A crowd is not company, and faces are but
gallery of pictures, and talk but cymbal
where there is no love.
-"Isaac my son, let the good book be lamp
unto thy path" Mother" replied the thought
less Isaac, should think that was making light
of sacred things"
QUEREY.-When does a pic-nic dinner table
have the greatest number Of legsl
ASs.-When the guests take shelter under 1t
from shower of rain.
- Things are queerly connected. A late sta
tician says, If all our old maids should marry,
the manufacturers Of single bedsteads would be
utterly ruined.
- Mrs. Darlington desires 10 know the zap
tain Of a vessel can't keep memorandum of the
weight Of his anchor instead of weighing It
every time he leaves port.
- A man whose appearance Indicated that he
was staggering from the excessive weight of
brick in his hat, being asked il he was Son of
Temperance replied" IIic -no--no relation
not even an hic-acquantance."
A boy at a crossing begged something Of
a gentleman, the latter told him that he would
| give him something ms he came back The boy
replied, "Your honor would be surprised if you
knew how much money lose by giving credit
that way
IL asked an old lady of the church in con-
fdence, if she really thought "dis-virtuous"
woman would become virtuous by joining the
church! She jerkcd her cap-border, adjusted
her 'specks,' and said yes, if the pesky men
would let her alone 7 and believe she is right"
life child swallows copper cent the true
| scientific remedy is to administer double quan-
tity OF zinc. The two combine and form brass
which has become an important element in the
composition of the fast young men, and in
ladies shows itself only in a brazen face:
A bachelor being told that an old a., quaint
ance was married, exclaimed, "I am glad TO
hear it, But refectng moment, he added in
! tone OF compassion and forgetfuness, "and
yet don't know why should be--he never did
me any HARM"
- The shnd lives but n single year. II is
hatched in the early summer--descends the
stream as soon as large cnough--feeds and fat
tens in the winter at the mouth of the stream
ascends in the spring to deposit its spawn-dc.
cends to die at the bottom of the ocean.
A Frenchman, hearing some Of his English
friends speaking of pressing their gusts 10 re-
main longer, consulted his dictionary and found
the word press meant 10 squeeze. At party,
soon afterwards, he asked n young lady TO sing
for him. "Permit me-" said he, "my dear to
squeeze you for Won leetlc song"
-"Mrs. JONES'" said a gentleman TO n Indy
whose husband was a brakesman. Mrs Jones.
do you feel worried about Mr. Jones when he is
on the cars ?"
"No. not all, for il he Is killed know shall
be paid for il because Mr.. Williams got $40 for
his COW that was run over by the cars few days
since"
SILENT WITyEss.-Dr. Bolus, who was very
angry when any joke was passed upon his pro-
fession, once said "I defy any person whom
ever attended to accuse me of ignorance or neg
lcct. THAT you may do safely, DOCTOR" re-
piled a wag; "dead men tell no tales"
Annette, my dear, what country is oppo-
site to us on the globe p
"Don't know, SIR"
"Well, WELL" said the pcrplcxed teacher " if
/ were to bore hole through the earth. and
you were TO go in this end, where would you
come out"
"0ut of the hole, sir replied the pupil.
Mrs. P.-"Why, Isaac, what do you mean by
letting them rats loose? the house will be stock
cd with 'em.'
Isaac-"Well, to be sure. and what else dye
s'pose I've kept trap set in the livery stable
for? How dye s'pose I'm going to train Tow
ser, without rats for him to hunt?"
The LOVERS PUzzLE-YoUNG AMER.
IcA's FIRST EFFoRT.--To learn TO read
the following so rs TO make good sense, is
the mystery:
shee read see that me.
Love is down will I'll have
But that and you have you'll
One and up and you if
=" What are you about 7" inquired a
lunatic of cook, industriously stripping
the feathers from a fowl. Dressing a
chicken" answered the cook. 81 should
call that undressing" said the crazy fel-
low.
TEnsE AND PrrHY-Dr Abcrnethy, the cele-
bratcd physician, was neycrmore displeased than
by hearing patient detail long account of
troubles. A woman, knowing Abernethy's love
of the laconc, having burned her hand, said to
| him,
"A burn"
"A poultice," quietly answered the learned
doctor. The next day she returned, and said,
| "Better."
"Continue the poultice," replied DIR. Aberne-
they. In n week she made her last call, and her
speech was heightened to three words,
"Well; your fec p
"NOthing," said the physician, 'you are the
most sensible woman ever saw"
A TRUE FRrESD.-Thou mayest be
sure that he that will in private tell thee
of thy faults, is thy friend, for he adven-
lures thy dislike, and doth hazard thy
hatred; for there are few men that can
| r. h.