The daily press. (Cincinnati [Ohio) 1859-1859, 1859-04-27

speaking OF shaving, said pretty girl
to an obdurate old bachelor, "I should think
that a pair of handsome eyes would be the
best mirror to shave BY" eyes; many poor
fellow has been SHAPED by them" the wretch
replied.
A correspondent of the Spirit of the Times
tells of gentleman who refused to accompany
his friend across Camden ferry, for fear the
passengers should vote the captain of the ferry
boat service of plate, and he should be called
upon to contribute.
off you marry" said Roman consul to his
son, 'let it be to woman who has judgment
and industry enough to cook meal for you,
taste enough to dress neatly, pride enough to
wash before breakfast, and sense enough to
hold her tongue"
At dinner party lately, n lady was asked
as to her politics, and she replied, ga straight
out silver-gr gray Whig." "Look at her closely,
gentlemen" exclaimed Mr.. John Van Buren,
"for assure you that the male species of that
animal is entirely extinct"
Coleridge, who was very awkward rider,
was once accosted by a wag, who remarked
this popularity. "I say, young man, did you
meet tailor ON the road?" eyes," replied
Mr.. c., (who was at loss for a rejoinder,) "I
did; and he told me if / went little farther
that I would meet a goose"
Byron, when he lay ill under combined
attack of disease and doctor, being brought
las he expressed it) to the last gasp, penned
his own epitaph
Youth, Nature and relentng Jove,
Tokeep my lamp IN strongly stIove;
But Romaneli was stout
He beat all three-and BLEW 1T OUT.
On returning home after his duel with young
O'COnnell, Lord Alvanly gave guinea to the
hackney coachman who had driven him out
and brought him back. The man, surprised
at the largeness of the sum, said; "My lord,
I only took you To-" "My friend" in
terrupted Alvanley, "the guinea is for bring
ing me back, not for taking me out"
AN EPIGRAM.
When Eve through early Eden moved
And tuned her maiden voice,
He'd only Hobs6n choice,
Bnt when TEN girls are found at home,
With chance for scarce ten men,
Not idle grace nor linnets hum
viii catch the beaux-to make them come
Each girl must BUsTLE then.
Many and varied are the female charms that
conquer us. Here we find woman whose
strength, like SIMPSONS, is in her hair; sec
ond holds your affections by the teeth third
| is Cinderella, who wins hearts by her neat
and pretty little foot; hundred thousand
Cupids lie ambushed in the eyes of a fourth;
while tho saccharine quality in the lips of
another would sweeten the tempers of dozen
Benediots.
KEEN CUT.-I am very sorry" said
learned judge to young woman, who hesita-
ted much in giving some very unpleasant evil
denco, 81 am very sorry to have to enforce
such an examination as this itmust, of course,
be painful to any decent person, but the ends
OF justice require III and not only SO, but all
the well-dressed females you see on either side
of me, have come long w0y to hear that
which pains you so much to utter"
| ADDRESSED TO NIoGER.-UsefuI nipgerl
You are the needle of our national compass, =,
the coloring matter Of all our affairs, the act
i've principle of our political ceremonies: you
make Presidents, you make Senators, you raise
small men, and knock down big ones. 0,
wonderful niger! you are black prince of fu /.
sion, diffusion and confusioni You ought to
be broken of your Office, kicked out, or re-
] quested to resign,