Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1859-02-26
tattoo on an empty bier bar
rel IL
of Xtract of noises Maid and
sold by Sol 0 Mann from
sounds herd at the tour of
Ba Bell (nun jenuine with
out his signatoor) As i"

Ba Bell (nun ienlline with
out his signatoor) 4s "
The guvernur hez certified to the
abuve as korrect & am Of the opinvun
it ort upon Xaminashun tn satisfy the
fasttiddeUs.
well, as wuz sayin follered the
croud intu the etein department Of the
tavern q TUX scete With the rest
putty soon young woman kun up &
whispered in mi ere sumthin dident
Xactly sence the menin Of sez I tu
her sez meow yu git eout, don't WI KUN
round here wisperin yure stuff into Mi
eres! hou du yu Xpect butt these uther
fellers will think yure wisperin sumthin
improper to me. Haint We got no man
ners-may Bee yure l of them free luv
sort & purhaps yu think ime yure afni-
ty, but ide hev yu tn under Stand that
ime marrid d haint no ockashun tn kul-
tiyate emmy moar Femail frenz-& if
yu don't believe me just address postage
pade Sale An doozzenbery wife of hez-
ekier doozzenbery, barabu Sock Koun-
ty, and yule bee very likely tn walk up
a passinger that will set yu rite on the
pashunal attrakshun kwestyun. sed
she dldent mean no offense, but want
tn no what yule hev fur dinnur. ol rite
sez amt hard tn pleze-:jiSt put yure
vlttles on the table & lie help miself-
AT this stage of the procedins the fel-
lers broke out into thunderin big laff
q eff it hadent bin fur maxim fus ide
a walloped the hull pile Of them. lie
not harrer up yure affekshune buxom
mr.. buth, bi Re CaPittUlaytir the aggre-
vatin seen but pas tn moar kongealial
& interestin Subject.
HE BECoMETH DIsGUsTED WITH POLL
TICS, AND Ills SOUL YEARNETH FOR
HOME.
i tell yu what it is mr.. cditur eff
ever am SO unspeakably happy as tn
git bak tn Sock Kounty shall talk
long fairwell of Polly Ticks g retire tn
the buzom of mi family. as for stand
in round the Poles ol day watchin
them bog trotten irish what want tn
voat the dimmikratic ticket cause skwier
dobbins tells me that the is of the re-
publik is upon me & eternal wigilence
is the price Of Lib Erty & westward
the starr of empire talks its way ct set
teri ct setteri, shall let them that is
ankshus, pay the price Of Lib Erty with
wigllence OF cf thay don't like that thay
kan Civ thare Note fur 80 days. eff
emmy bodde dczires challenge voats
ol day q stan round in the mud ped
lin tickets or run thar ole hoss 2 deth
fur the saik of gitten in sick roaters as
amt konshus of the Importance of the
importance of the impendin kri Siss,
thay K .iist the Is 2 du it Bekauze
shall Retire from the cervis. this oil
work q no offs konsider an infring-
ment of the konstitushunal rites that
don't Intend to submit 2.
yours til deth,
HEZZEkIER DOOZENBERRY.
dun at the villij uf maddisun this
10th of Phebuary 1900 And SO 9.
HEZEkIER HATH A JOKE PRACTICED Up
PosT KRIPT l hev every rein to be-
leave that lme the object ov a diabol-
ickal " lnturnal conspiracy. U lie
tell yu why / think 80. The uther dav
q feller kun tn me & ses he 2 me ses
he Duzenberry ses 2 him ses I what
will ye hev, ses he hev kun tn serlicit
yure attendance at the kapital hous tu
mite. Ses him what du yu propose
to hev me kun Thare fur. Sez he sum
ov yure perlitical frenz think that their
IL a chance fur yu yit, sez i WI doant
sa so! yes sez he i do tho. well Prom
ised him wood go but the hopes of
suckness so prostrated my nervous cys-
tim that didn't saw much wood that
day. Well at mite i went over 2 the
kapital hous Il the same feller was in
the bar rune & he TUX me up stares &
intu room where their was gentle
men that he introduced Me ones naime
waz horn and the uther waz Lmore
They peared bee very glad ce me
& give my hand hearty shaik. think
Mr.. horn is a furriner ov sum sum sort
!. frum his tork, but ges L more aint tho
he swore Considerable. Well seq
they tn me MIR. Doozenbery the time
has arrived when if the rite kard is
plaid u kin git into offs, we air Well
aware NV the important part i've plaid
in Polly ticks & what uve dun fur the
Kause of Humanity and liberty and
specially dlee1ia Hanzas, & we propose
that II shall hev sum rekompence fur it
Z Sc the guvurnur hez gist cent in 0 F..
naime fur kontoo)ler & he kant cit il
eny more than thnndurz kummin cause
the cennit wont korrohorate 10 E's ap