The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1859-11-25
NEWSPAPERS COLLECTIONS.
WRITTEN FOR A SOUTHERN PAPER, BUT
SUITED TO MOST MERIDIANs.


My Dear Sir 81 have Just returned
from tour throughout the State, and
proceed to furnish you with an account
Of my labors and their success. l have
been gone for three months, and assure
you, in all sincerity, that am fully sat
isfed. You furnished me with a list Of
one hundred and seventy owing sub
scribers, as you will recollect. I have
called upon one hundred and four of
them, and have the honor Of paying
over to your order three dollars twelve
and half cents, being the amount to
which yon are entitled. l return the
list numbered to 1T, and now give
you the reply of each.
No. lis minister. He SAYS in
the first place, he never got one half
the numbers, and in the next place
your joker's column was too scurrilous.
He cant think of fding to sustain a
paper that advertincs horse races and
gander pulling. Besides he knows
from the tone of your editorials that
you drink, and paying you would only
be the means of your ending your days
in kennel. He wonders at your impu-
dence in sending him bill after pub
fishing the account of the great prize
fight.
! No. 2-is in jail for debt. he has
not seen half dollar for one year
says he would pay with the ut
most cheerfulness, if he only had the
money but he had to borrow shirt
to put on last Sunday. Admires your
paper wonderfully, and hopes you will
continue sending it to him. If you
setd him any moru papers, he hopes you
will see that the postage is paid.
| No. Sis a young doctor. Says
| your paper is beneath the notice Of a
| gentleman. Wouldn't give a - for a
cart load of them. Says you inserted
an article rejecting on the profession.
Cuss'd your bill, and says you may col
lect it the best way you can.
No. 4-Is an old maid. Says you
are always taking fling at single ladies
of an uncertain age. Says she would nj
pay you she was rolling in wealth,
and you hadn't as much cash as would
buy crust Of bread. Sent all the pa.
pers she had back a month ago, and
says, now that she has sent them back
she don't owe you anything. Says she
is even with you, and intends to keep SC
till the last day of her life.
No SIS a gambler sporting
gentleman. Says he got completely
cleaned out last week at the races
Couldn't accommodate his grand
mother with a half dime il she wa
starving. Likes your paper tolerably--
would like it better if you published
more races, and would OCCASIONAL,
| give an account of a chicken fight
Likes the description Of the prize fgh
anazingly-it redeemed a multitud
of your faults. He is after a ricl
young green-horn who arrived her
last week. win pay your debt out Q
the pluckings.
No. els an old drunkard. Hasn'
; got anything, and never expects t
have. Gathered up all the papers tina
he had and sold them for halt pint
r rum to the doggery keeper to wra
, groceries in. Wishsd you would sen
him a pile. Winked at me when
!, presented your bill, and inquired if
5 wasn't a distant relation of the ma
, that butted the bull Of the bridge.
No7-Is magistrate. Swore b
| never owed you cent, and told me
e was low rascal in trying to swindl
him in such a manner. Advised m
I to make tracks in little less than 4
time, or he would get out = warrar
: against me as a common cheat, an
have me sent to prison. Took b
" advice.