Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1859-04-02
" II III q I 0 II s !.

CANT MAN THINK WHAT he PLEAsEs .
10 the spring Of 1857, tour authority is expic
it, sD excitement municipal election was held
in Princeton, Indiana. The ailabsorbiDg
compound. .queRtion to be answered by the
electors, was "Whiskey 2-or no Whiskey p
Owing to the fact that sundry grogshops had
been mobhed, and their contents destroyed
by tha fair Amazons Of the village, during
the preceding fall and winter, vast quaint.
ty Of bad blood had been engendered, and the
election was bitterly contested. Conspicuous
among the champions Of "FreeLager," was
Dutchman by the name Of Dasche. Das
che, init his vrow," had bis "local habtation"
beyond the coporste limits of the village
aforesaid and, by consequence, had DO right
10 vote in Princeton. But Dasche had not
the remotest idea of limiting his exertions to
the field of "moral suasion," and he therefore
voted plumper for Free Whiskey," in oil
its phases. Dasche was tried for the offence
10 the Court Of Common Pleas Of Gibson
County, Judge P. presiding and found guilty.
Dasche was enraged and gave vent to his
feelings in language wherein it was hard to
cay whether bad English or broken Dutch
predomnated. The Court ordered him to be
silent, the only reply was yolley OF fragmen-
tary polyglot anathemas. His Honor again
rebuked him, and threatened Imprisonment.
unles he held his peace. Dasche rose and
asked, meekly:
Judge can't man dink vat he bleases ?"
Certainly replied the court, "you may
think whatever you like"
"DeD," replied Dasche, smile Of trumph
flashing across his Teutonic features as he
glanced at the judge and jury, II dinks yon
iSh all set of inuerndl schoundreis!'
Time" was suddenly, "calIed on him, but
bis speech was finished.
BRAIEs.-An American sloop. war had
put into M English port, and the first leuten.
ant went ashore to reconDoiter. In the
course Of his travels, be entered q tavorn
where a number OF British officers were caro-.
using. They at once recognized the leuten-
ants nationality by bullying him.
Well comrade," says one, "you belong TO
TIE United States, see"
Right" was the answer
"Now, what would you do to a man who
should say that your navy did not contain an
officer fit for q bumboat p continued the Eng
lishman.
Il would blow his brains out !" return our
lieutenant, with great coolness.
There was silence among her majesty's ser
wants for moment; bat finally one Of them
more muddled than the rest, managed to
stammer out:
n-NeiiI hhh, say IL
The American walked to Lis side, and
replied calmly:
1T is lucky for you, shipmate, that you
have no brains 10 blow out ~
struck by the dignity Of the answer. the
offender at once apologzed, and our hero was
Invited to join the meas.
A HghWayman undertook to rob Major
Jones. he met Jones in a wood over in Jer-
10 ulg E. 81
Jones refused to yield. Highwayman took
jones by the neck, and undertook to choke
him. Jones made fight ana kept it up for
hall M hour. At the expiration OF that time
Jones eaved, and the highwayman commenced
rh!ng his pockets. The contents amounted
TO eighteen cents. ais that all you've got ?"
Every cent" What made you ight so
long 7" Didn't want to be exposed. Bad
enough to have only eighteen cents a great
deal worse to have the whole world know it,"
A Dandy who had "spleudido mustache,
being asked ut party to favor the ladies' with
o song replied that he 'really-aw-couln'tI
reollect the tune A beauty who was nosr
exclaimed "Oh dear, how can that be when
me hair TAR is hanging on your very lip %
Hhe has since been married to him serves
her right for her impudeuce.
---'>' ~ 'AlE -hcNEH DANfS.-A lew eve
pings ago party Of young Americana
wtra standing in front Of an ancient looking
sadler's shop, kept by one Hans a Dutchman
Mischief reigned supreme amoug their nun.
Der and linking to have some sport with
our German friend, one of them opened tbe
door aud thus addressed him:
for dogs p
Now. Young American, no doubt expected
Hans to land stick of wood in the Immediate
vicinity Of the door but no Looking M rrom
hls WORK, quite composedly, he replied;
~faw COON in unit try Won GU !"
Young American sloped.
OLD BACHELORS The following is. doubt
less, addressed to old bachelors. We submi,
II to certai In institution" not a thousand
miles from this place
You're drying up, you'll blow away;
Then pray no longer tarry,
y Remember what the Bible says
There is time to marry"
Convention of"Progressvs Bachelors"
\held 10 Delaware last week Resolutions
\adopted to the effect that the ins,itution
Sriage is Of divine origin and Of national