The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1859-04-06

scrapes, giving the particulars Of diff
Guilty between Miss A. and Mr.. B., being
very careful not to let the story lose any
thing in tellirg, as it might do in inexpe-
rienced hands.
If this does not get lis their fuller con-
fidence, we relate that scandalous story
which so initiates against the good name
of Miss G.
AT this stage of the treatment,
we are c; reful to open our eyes very
wide, in the vulgate. stick eout our eyes
and introduce such expressions as SHANE
full, ''impudent hussy," "such con-
duct is outrageous" &c.
A few of these tales of the street, usu-
ally produce the requisite perfect trust in
our discreetness, and sympathy, and we
learn all the little secrets Of our patients.
Yet we have had to relate all the scandal
that ever came within the range of our
observation, to melt the heart and open
the soul of an obdurate patient. In fact,
when we have time. we always make it a
point to relate all the stories of this Kind
that we know.
We also humor our patients. Does one
take snuff? We delight in pinch of
Scotch or Macaboy favored, as the case
may be. Does another take bitters a
We take bitters, in the Spring, to make
our blood thin, and at other seasons Of
the year to make it thick.
BY great diligence we have secured an
extensive practice, and take hold Of close
mouthed persons with almost certainty
of success. We have been driven to lis
tening at doors, and searching unlocked
trunks, or trunks that may be unlocked.
We would say that we found the
above poem in an old drawer-
Once or twice we have been called
scandal monger, and afs'moan old tale
bearer but we ''scorn the hnsineryation."
We are public benefactor; we are the
sympathetic individual! Shall we, a re-
lever of sorrows be abused Shall we
that take so much interest in the dissent
nation of knowledge, be villjfed? Are
the jewellers on this mundane sphere to be
deprived of our labors. exerted in so good
cause as the tightening up of my steries?
And are we, who have always felt it a
duty to warn our neighbors against real
and imaginary evils and evil doers-who
can tell more truth concerning our friends
and enemies domestic affairs than the
whole community besides, to be silenced
Most pertinaceousIy, decidedly, and en-
phatically no! If it could be so, we
should feel to exclaim with the poet,-
then is Mrs. O. Odds Occupation gone"
We dexterously pumped a few folks,
and found that Mr. Odd had been in love
several times previous to our forming the
existing alliance. What q splendid ma
neuvre! Through it how much power
we WELD! BY it Mr.. Odd is brought in
perfect subsection to our will; by it we
wear the breeches- so to speak. If We
order him to take good care of one of the
little Oddities and he refuse, we just re.
mark that its an excessive mercy the little
creature is not the child of that great red
faced Mrs. Il, whom he used to think
so attractive. &
tits astonishing how little parents mind
that which we rehearse to them, relating
to the action of their children; while the
zeal with which they inquire into conduct
of young people placed by circumstances
under their care, is so very refreshing.
We think that people with grown up sons
aud daughters. had better send them
among strangers to live, who viii GER
tainly take such good care to find if there
be anything for which they require advice
or reproof. .L
For instance, should we inform Mrs.
PUFF that her daughter CLEMANrIxA
was kissed by The young land Surveyor,
and every body knows, or shall know
she was, for they stood in dark corner
of the church vestibule five minutes, and
for what else could they be there Mrs.
Puff would be very apt to say she
did not believe it was so. Now, if Gle ]
mantina lived with Elder FAITHFUL, he
would believe what we told him, and, as
he ought to, would reprove her.-talk to
to her about the improperly of being
seen with handsome young stranger in
the dark, and promise to dismiss her
from his house if ever again she dared to
be kissed by young man in the dark
corner of the church vestibule. Just for
all the world, like the story of "the House
that Jack built"
Butt it is in Sewing Socities, that we !
take the most pleasure; one of them fairly
throws US into ecstaeies of delight, as the
nnyal E