Staunton vindicator and general advertiser. (Staunton, Augusta County, Va.) 1858-1860, 1859-08-19
THE UNION, BASED uPonTAE CONSTITUTE


weeping to his arm, Il am afraid of my.
self-afraid of becoming unworthy of you >
"How, Mildred ~ was his answer. I'll
you mean you will forget me, or discover
You are mistaken in thinking you love me,
it will save Us both a lifelong misery-me,
at least, a lifelong remorse.'
For week or two. after he left me, ]
hardly went into society; but my father and
friends laughed at my playing the widow,
as they called it, and | soon resumed my
former gayeties, with, however, certain
restraint aud moderation which / felt due to
Mr.. Lacy. /,
At length the temptation beset ne 81
which I seemed to have had a vague pre-
sentiment from the first evening Of Mr..
Lacy efer, and it beset me under its most
insidious form. MY fathers sister and
nephew came to pay US long-talked-of vis-
it; and even before they arrived. had be-
gun to torture myself with doubts as to the
issues of this intercourse. AS children,
Frank Ingram and I had spent half of our
time together; and as children had pledged
ourselves to each other. Five years had
passed since we had met, for he had been
studying medicine abroad; but unbroken,
though scanty correspondence had been al
ways Kept up between the two families, -
Frank had been my ideal as child IF
found him SO still If Iwere to love him !
it, when he came, lie brought with him that
future about which I had dreamed brought
| it in vain / There was something morbid
in this state Of mind; but the idea had fas.
tened upon me, and I could not shake it off
My very self-mistrust was a snare.
Ny aunt and cousin duly arrived; and O.
Frank must speak the truth, even if an
accused Of a wish to justify myself. Every
charm young man could have, think he
possessed. | say nothing Of his persona
beauty, or his Ingenious graces of manner
| could have withstood these, though I hac
a very keen appreciation Of them. But ht
was as full of disinterested ardor in his pro
fession as Mr.. Lacy in. his; had the sam,
ideep desire to be Of use in his generation
the same unsei6sh plans and aspirations
only he unfolded them with such winning
self-mistrust, as if he doubted his worth
ness for the high vocation Of benevolencc
until he warmed into enthusiasm; and ther
the. passion of his speech, the very extrava
gance ofhis youthful hopes, thrilled me will
IA power far beyond the reasoned wisdom 0
Mr.. Lacy's enterprises Oh!I longed t,
ljoin hands with him in his life:journey, an,
lend my aid to the working out Of his Tito
tpia. with a spontaneous fervor Of desir,
never known before
( Lesser things lent their aid. Ee was
| 6ne musician, and an enthusiast in the art
we practiced constantly together. He taugh
me how to play and sing the German com
positions he had introduced to ne. I d,
not wish to dwell on details; but who doe
mot know how subtle medium Of lave
kindred pursuit and enjoyment Of music is
and Mr.. Lacy had never cared for music. -
Then, again, he was my perpetual compan
ion: at breakfast, his clear eyes and WELDON
ing voice opened the day and after its LONG
hours Of delightful intercourse, his hand wa
the last I clasped at night. No attempt wa
made to put any restrain upon this danger
Gus -companionship. My father looked up
on US as brother and sister besides, IT,
fact Of my engagement was known, and h
had the most implicit confidence in his neph
ew's honor, He never considered my dan
ger, yet it was ths greater. He might b.
strong but was weak. In short, I lovet
Frank "
| letter, announcing the probable day
Of Mr.. Lacy's return, reused me to convic
Of tie truth. carried it up to my room
locked the door, and fell on my knees. ~
What should ! do2.s Should Keep my Sc
cret, and sin against my own soul by mar
rying one I did not love? Surely that wer'
/ the worst crime Of the two. What was lef
ME. then, to wound noble heart, Belle my
promise, inculpate my father. 1t seemed I
dreadful alternative. After hours Of agoni
zpd casuistry, could not decide, but deter
mined to leave the final issue to chance
IBID Frank love ne +? Strange that ITtook
that fact for granted, Sorturing myself witt
the idea Of what lie would suffer BE, with
bis young, strong capacity for sorrow! This
is not to be long story, SO I must not stay
% analyze the state of my mind during th'
interval that elapsed before Mr.. Lacy's re
Aturn. A criminal awaiting sure condem
nation, and that approved by his own ach
ing conscience, would understand my feel
ings.
CONCLUDED IN OUR NEXT.