The western Democrat. [volume] (Charlotte, N.C.) 1852-1870, 1859-05-31
0N it ano y IL 1T +.

A tavern keeper out west advertises young
lawyer who left his house without raying his bill
thus:
"Absquatulandum damnum it Swartwoutandi5us
in transit non est inventus additum scape goatum
non comatibus in swampo."
My dear, what shall we name our baby said Mr.
Smith to Mrs Smith the other day. Why, love,
I've settled on Peter. Peter ! | never knew
man with the simple name of Peter who could
his salt. Well then we'll call him salt Peter
A man on passing through gateway IN the
dark hit his against post.
| wish that post was in HI, said he
Better wish it somewhere else, said bystander,
you mig run against it again.
What is the difference between good soldier
and fashionable lady?
One faces the powder, and the other powders
the face.
Why arc chickens necks like door-bells? Be-
cause they otter wrung for company.
A city girl who had been with beau to a "ma-
pie sugaring' in the country, writes homo that
the funniest thing | thaw wath Charlie deer try
ing to eat maple molatheth with his muthacheth
on; turkey eating thick dough it'll nothidg in
cOmparithOn.'
A Printers Toast-Woman-the faircst work
man be without copy.
What is the difference between a cat and doc
umcnt? One has claws at the end of his paws
and the other has pausCs ut the end of its clauses
An unfortunate, deploring his injuries from
stump-tocd boots, said he knew them from ex-
periencc. YES replied way, from long expe-
riencc." He had foot Ii inches long.
Why is a fashionable lady like rigid ccono-
mist Because she makes great hustle about
little waist
Miss Fantanding says the first time she locked
her with a young man, she felt like Hope
leaning on her anchor. Poetic young lady, that
She'll look like patience on monument smiling
at grief before she gets through with her clean
ing if she don't take care
Rabclais, the celebrated Frcnchman, made the
following will before his death: a owe much;
possess nothing. l give the rest to the poor"
Tom.-Charley don't you think some verses
would touch her-a beautiful pome? Charley
o hang your weIses, Tom. If you want to enjoy
lile drop poetry and the gals altogether, and jine
the fire company.
"Iiaye you The first and Last Love of Poly
wOg?" enquired romantic young lady of book
seller "No Miss" was the answer, " but have
Hints to young Housekeepers, by Polly Jones"
which will do you more good"
"The only liberty cap" says clever and witty
author, ais night cap. In It men visit, onc-third
of their lives, the land of sleep-the only land
where they are always free and equal"
a NUT FOR LAWYERS TO CRACK-A case of
the following kind came up recently in PennSyl-
vania
A B. married c. DIS sister-his wife died A
Il. then married G. DIS daughter-she died. c..
DIS wife died; G. ID. married +. f., and died A.
b. then married G.. DIS widow and had children
by each wife. What relationship exists between
all the children of A. B.?
GEA. Peter the Great was sensible old fellow,
and knew how to rule his subjects, as the follow
ing anecdote related by Professor Jaeger, in his
work on North American Insects, shows:
The fact that the study of nature tends directly
to the civilization of nation was well understood
more than a century and half ago, by that in
genious, self-matle Peter the Great, of Russia
He conceived the idea that love for this depart
ment of science would contribute much towards
the civilization and refinement of his barbarian
subjects, and accordingly he established, at an
enormous expense, large museum of natural his
tory at St. Petersburg; and in order to induce his
dram-lovlng subjects to go there, he ordered
glass OF brandy to be presented to every visitor.
LIBRRAL.-We see it stated that Mr.. Warren
of North Carolina, Mr.. Armfeld, of Tennessee
II APA Liz I. II. IL