Randolph County journal. [volume] (Winchester, Randolph County, Ind.) 1855-1862, 1859-05-12

brance Of what the solitary man him
self once was--he, too, was gone, sent
home several hours ago by his en-
ployer; and now the latter sat by the
dying fire in the Office grate, and gave
vent to an overwhelming flood Of pain
ful and unhappy thoughts.
cit must be so-there is no earthly
help for it. The name / have borne
so many years must now become by
word Of reproach upon my memory.
The integrity Of a lifetime will be for
gotten i'll an hour; and by one false
step, / lose my foothold on the emf
nence whose summit | had well-nigh
attained, anil am dashed, stunned and
powerless, down, down to the very
base.
81 have striven hard to ward of
this blow; but | find it utterly impos-
sible. | can no more meet the i'm
mensc demands that come upon me
next week, than l can change my own
identity. What ,cW become of me?"
lie sat without saying another
word, and looked steadfastly into the
fire. And as he did so, what horrible
thought hoated athwart his mind that
made his cheeks grow white, and his
breath come thick and fast? 1t is an
unholy thought. John Emmersonl-
quick, cast it out! for your souls sake,
cast it out!
But, like the fabled moun.ain-fenA
OF Arabian story, it has taken its seat
upon the Travellers shoulders. and
there it sits immovable as fate itself.
1t will not be shaken off.
John Emmerson tried to pray The
words danced before him, and writhed
themselves into dreadful shape
They grew blood-rcd upon the tablets
of his mind, and this was the fearful
form in which they stood
SUICIDE!
Pray. John Emmerson-pray fol
some good angels, that they may here,
in this lonely room, descend and
guard thy soul. He essays to do SC
the effort is hopclcss-still stands
the blood-red legend there before hi,
eyes SUcIDE There, among the
dying cmbers of the fire /: SUICIDE
There, dancing upon the shadowy
wall (: SUICIDE! Straight before him
as he shuddcringly closes his eyes
and presses his trembling hands dowr
upon them, to shut the spectre out
SuIcIDEl SUIcIDEl
And the spectre points to his desl
in the dim corner of the room. III,
rises as though dragged forth from hi
seat by some invisible giant hand, anC
totters toward it. For the love o
Heaven stop, John Emmerson!
lie will not-he can not!
lie has reached the desk. It i
open. Something bright and cole
glitters in the dim sparkle Of the fire
light. There is hard. sharp ciicI,
An impious, wicked, cowardly han'
raised! \ soul trembling on the prec
ipicc of ctcrnityl
Is there no power to save? Nus
the fcnds of darkness triumph, afte
all
Hush! What are these?
\ haze is clearing from before th
sclf-murdercr' vision, and three dca
faces slowly grow into distinctnes
there. lie feels his iron-strung nerve
give way as the vision meets his eye
and as he revercntly drops upon hi
knee. his heart whispers to him tha
he is savedl He knows now tha
good angels kept their watch tha
night, and that his sinful soul wa
preserved by their sweet intercession
Loving wives and innocent childrc
are mems good angels always.
John Emmcrson rose up from hi
feet another man. lie had purpos
now upon his mind, ami he felt full
nerved and strengthened for its fulfill
ment. And it needed all his new-bor
strength and courage. lie was abou
; to run the gauntlet Of the prying, talk
ing, sneering world. Honest Fmmel
son was TO bc dishonest Emmerso
now.
He made some hasty arrangemer
of papers-somc quiet preparation
that would lead more clearly to tn
morrow's revelation; and then, wit
one glance around that well-remem
bcrcd room, in which SO many phase
Of his life had come and gone. an
4 this the strangest phase of all-or
sigh to the memory of by-gone days
G one hopeful prayer for the stern, az
\ vancing future-and he was gone!
Next day. the startling news bur
c on the mercantile world, that "Hone
= Emnerson" had turned out a tho
: ough-bred scoundrel, and that he ha