Staunton vindicator and general advertiser. (Staunton, Augusta County, Va.) 1858-1860, 1859-11-11
dflistellaneolls.
From the Eclectic Magazine.
ssL'HOME PROPOSE,'
OR, A LOVE PASSAGE In THE LIFE OF A
TREASURY CLERK.
BY DUDLEY COSTELLO

BY DUDLEY COSTELLO.
| WHAT TOOK rLACE ON THE TIGERS BACK.
"What delightful thing is the society
Of lovely woman =" exclaimed Augustus
Headlcng, enc morning, as be was giving
the last sweep Of his razor over his palm,
preparatory to the operation during which
men think mere deeply than at any other
time. "What delightful thing espe-
cially after bottle Of champagne! p
| II never continued Augustus, after a
pause ;-sno, I don't think [ ever was in
greater force than. last night at the Bedding
tons Matilda Beddington is fine crea-
ture-very! I came it strong -yes-de-
eiaedly!"
Having arrived at this satisfactory con-
clEsion, Augustus Keadlong allowed the
razor to perform its duty uninterruptedly
to the close, and then, with a pleased ex-
pressioa Of countenance, completed his tot
let and sat down to breakfast.
While be is pouring oat his tea, we will
venture upen slight sketch of his person
al appearance, aad to add to it a brief ac-
count Of his position il society.
Handsome, as the term is generally &C.
oeptea, he certainly was not, for he had a
turn-up nose,a mouth somewhat of the wild
est, "a cast in ere eye, hair Of q suspicious hue
and whiskcrs about whose color there could
be 20 doubt, though those who spoke well
Of him behind his back were anaiahie e
nough to call it merely sandy. These tri-
aes, however, being kept out Of view, he
was ret considered an Unlocking fellow
except by the naemoe Of his club, the peo-
pie who passed him in the street, and the
generality Of his male acquaintance. The
exceptions were no doubt numerous, but
! their eject was more than counterbalanced,
il his estimation, by the favorable opinion
| of the fair sex, with whom Augustus was
rather popular. owing to an agreeable, in
sinuating way he had with him, which
chiefly showed itself after dinner. Ifthere
were spice Of vanity in his composition he
may be pardoned its existence, for it only
betrayed itself when any allusion was made
in conversation to "legs." On such occa-
sions Augustus (whose neither limbs curved
slightly outward would direct attention to
his own, by stretching them out, if he were
in sitting posture, or BY gently tapping
his boots with his cane, if standing upright
The most self-denying practice little arts
like these there are even severe phlloso-
pliers whose fine teeth are not above them.
For the rest, he was of a good-humored
frank and confding disposition, which, in
deed, he occasionally pushed little too far,
having an irresistible tendency, in certain
situations, to be more confding than was
altogether prudent or safe.
The truth is, he was always proposing.
He went to q ball-and supper-without
offering to become the partner for life Of his
last partner in the dance seldom dined out
without encouraging matrimonial visions as
the claret went round; and never formed
one at picnic without volunteering ssthe
Pledge in the first outrageous retreat
that invited opportunity.
He had, Of course, been accepted a great
many times, but only by the objects Of his
sudden passion; for it invariably happened
that when the blushing announcement was
made to papa or mamma, a stern negative
on their parts put an end to the affair, and
Augustus Headlong was forthwith banished
from the house. The reason for this con-
tinous parental cruelty arose from the well
informed fact that he was only Junior
clerk in the Treasury, with no prospect Of
ever becoming prime minister, a category
in which he by no means stoo.a, alone. It
/, il true that he was known to have an aunt
somewhere in the country who was report
ed to be pretty we'll off, but it was equally
well known that Augustus was no favorite
Ncf hers, and that~lfe was the youngest OF
three nephews. Besides, in the romantic
fights in which be was fond of INDUCING,
he always pictured the delight Of flying
from the world" to Glove and cottage, .
which figure Of speech worldly minded par
ents interpret to mean second story, un-
furnished, in an inaccessible suburb or, al
the best, four-roomed house IN st. John
Wood with rain water butt and an oblone
strip Of garden behind it.
! Strange to say, these ever-recurrlng oD'
stacles in the way Of his hopes had not SAD
dened Augustus Headlong: We all knoy
that sthe path Of true love" is strewn will
the toughest and sharpest fints, instead 9
what it ought to be-the smoothest AM
most delicate sea shell gravel but, often a
! he had trodden that path, the feet or Au
gustus were not laoerated. This lmmunlt.
Was, probably, the result Of his brief 50 %
) iourn in loves .spleasuance," or, it nigh
be. that he had become, in manner, case
hardened.
There are men who, when they lapse in
!. to a maudlin condition, exhibit q palntu
sense Of the pangs Of unrequited love, an