The Lancaster ledger. [volume] (Lancaster, S.C.) 1852-1905, 1859-04-13
Recipe for a Family Quarrel.

we VIII not say, as do most rcceiD.
DOCKS, that the following rec, lpc has been
iu'Iy tested by Prdcttcdt experience /; and
yet, We are perfectly satisfied Of its eff
ciencv-aud its infaIllble success. There
may be various other ways of manuiac
turing genuine family Jroil-a sort of
/ photographic, short hand method of yet
ting up IA domestic hurricane but if a
real. BONA tidc, high spirited ever failing
process is wanted. We will warrant tie fol.
lowing - give abundant success, at all
times, and under all circumstances. 1t
will bring about a family thunder.gus,
w'tn fatal facility
Now, there never was man vet--a
great, ugly man, but what needed II spe-
cles OF training, before YOU can do much
/ with him-he needs sort of everyday
T Purga,o'y, To refine, purify and soften his
lion hearted nature. Every woman should
understand this, and keep plenty of ma
teHai constantly on hand. Suppose, for
rnst.nce, that your husband has neglec
I ted 10 pay you all that courtesy and de
ference Which YOU thnk is Your dua-
why, just pay him of 10y gooI long
SPc.i OF rouiing. lis, perhaps, the most
successful method in the world, Of open
ing his eyes to the amiability Of your
disposition, and also Of impressing his
mind with the dignity Of your position.
II he remains III his counting room late
at night, posting up his books, when you
have requested him to attend the theatre,
or concert with you-pay him off well.
lhIs Is An offence which merits very
severe punishment. You should be care.
inl not To overlook this in any degree
When lie returns, speak not IA single word
/ turn your face towards the wall, and
/ draw your head under the bed clothes AS
tightly as possible. Get up in the morn,
ing with n stiff neck, and xh,gh head
march about the room with the sir Of a
princess Ss-bang the chairs against the
waIls-gve the door II tremendous slam,
aud brush by The mouster, out TO break
'ast-lcaving him to come hg himself il
he p!eascs. When you get to the table,
40 not for the world eat mou!htul II
the h"rriG wretch sends you bit Of steak,
send 1t straight back to him, which may
t"rce him To enquire if you are sick Now,
let him wait awhile for an answer; do
not speak at all, unless you choose to do
so, and If you do, be sure to adj that
go" wiSh you Ccre dead. Take few
sips OF coliee-apparentIy forcing them
down, and leave ;he table. &c to your
room, throw yourself on the lounge and
cry most p,eousIy. Should yonr hus
band attempt to console YOU, which he
possibly may do, Tell him that YOU wish
YOU could die that you are the most
miserable woman IN the world, and YOU
always shall be. II he is melted under
this, AT all, just 90 ahead-tcl! him all
| YOU wish 10 live for Is for the children,
who have no friend but yourself and
who would die for want os care were YOU
to leave them. Tell him how sick John
ny was last night, when he was away
how he was threatened with Group, and
how frightened you were. Then, II he
seems moved, Just add how disappointed
! you are III HIM as a hushand-how much
better things you expected Of him, and
how many bitter. bitter hours his neglect
/ and unElndness has caused YOU. 1t NAV
| he, that this would make hlm p little ri
led-ii so, YOU will have all the better
vantage-ground for BRISK scolding. Tel
him you never did wish to marry him
you did II merely to get rid Of bim-re,
mind hum Of the scores Of rivals which
he had, any Of whom would have made
you far better husband than he had
done. IL he is not a perfect job, this will
naturally wake him up a little, and he
may spout a wee bit. This will only all
be in rour favor. Hold stiff neck and
so right ahead.
lie may remind you Cf your neglect
ot personal ppearance-your slUveuly
dress--slip shod shoes-wrinkled stock
ings-dIsheveIled collarless neck
snuff dipping propensilies, and street.gos
sip. IL SO, just tell him that he has been
the means OF il all. Ask him where he
is at midnight Tell him the time was
when he would have broken his neck rub
ming after you, and you fairly hated the
sight of him all The time. Be sure 10
remind him Of what you had a, your IA
ther's house, and give him to understand
that you never expected TO undergo such
pnvalions. IL this fails, TO fetch him, Just
hint that you intend to 90 back home
again, any how, and you don't care f.
what the world says about it.
Very hkely by this time he may think
that prudence is the better part Of valor
and move off for his place OF business
II he should deign to bid you good bye,
don't for the world look up or speak
if he still moves on, just as he closes the
door, give Ioud hysterical scream, and
possibly this may fetch him il it doe,
not, as soon as lie is welf out OF sight
pack up your jewelry and silver ware
fix up the babies, and 60 home to YOU
mother, This is undoubtedly the climax
Of the thunder gust, and will bring abou
An arrangement Of matters in some way
or other. At al events Il will teach one