The Lambertville press., 1859-12-28

when large ships run aground, little
boats may pull them off.
* There is man in Indiana so
thin that when the sheriff is after him.
he crawls into his rife and watches
his adversary through the touch-hole.
* The pursuit in which we cannot
ask Gods protection must be crimnals
the pleasure for which we dare not
thank him cannot lie innocent.
* A YaI kee who recently return
ed from Newfoundland, SAYS that the
fog is so thick there. that he used to
drive nal in it o harg his hat on.
* The meanest man in the world
is in London He buttons his shirt
with waters, and looks at his money
through magnifying glass.
* Although one swallow will not
make Summer, still pin malicionsly
inserted in chair will make one
Spring
~ An exchange SAYS that, ." In the
absence of both editors, the publisher
had succeeded in securing the services
of a gentleman to edit the paper that
week.
* VIII n you advertise yous busi-
ness, suggests Prentice, make no half
work of it. Business is like architec-
tnre-its best support is column.
Prentice is right, business that is
hnilt mp on solid columns, with fair
capital, is sure to stand.
* Intercourse with persons of de-
cided virtue and excellence is of great
Importance in the formation of good
character. The force of example is
powerful. We are creatures Of imita-
tion, and, by necessary Influence, our
habits and tempers are very much
formed on the model of those with,
whom we familiarly associate
** A contented heart is an even
sea in the midst of all storms. 1t is
like tree in autumn, which secures
its life when it has lost its leaves
When worthy Mr.. Hern lay upon his
death bed his wife with great concern.
asked him what was 10 become of her
and her large family: he answered.
Peace (Swect hearty hat God who,
feeds the ravens, will not siarve the
HprnS." 1fthe child be jealous of his
fathers affection he will soon be du-
bious of his fathers provision.
* A complicated Qnestion-A tall
Eastern girl named Short long loved
certain big Mr. Little; while Little,
little thinking of Short, loved a little
lass named Long. To make a long
story short, Little proposed to Long,
aud Short longcd to lie even with Lit
lies shortcomings. So Short, meet
ing Long, threatened to marry Little,
before long, which caused Little in a
short time to marry Long.
Query-Did tall Short love big Lit
tie less because big Little loved little
Long?
* Lite There is nothing which
must end, to be valued for its coniinu-
ance. If hours days, months, and
years pass away, it is no matter what
honr, what day what month, or what
year we die. The applause of a good
actor is due to him at whatever scene
Of the play he makes his exit 1t is
thus in the life of man of sense; a
short life is sufficient tp manifest him.
self man of honor and virtue, when
he ceases to he such lie has lived too
long, and while he is such it is of no
consequence to him how long he shall
be so, provided he is so to his life'S end.
Steele.
* Very Cool A gentleman, on a
visit TO Washington, one day opened
the Senate Chamber, and was about
to pass in, when the door-keeper asked,
I Are you a privileged member :"
I" What do you mean by that ask
ed tie stranger.
The reply was, "A Governor, an
ex-member of Congress. or a foreign
minister"
The stranger replied that he was a
minister.
Prom what court or country :"
asked the official
Very gravely pointing up, the
stranger replied
From heaven, sir"
To this the door-keeper waggishly
replied
This government, at present, holds
no intercourse with that foreign pow
err
X P. S.-This column was hacked
out and picked up by the Derlt ibis
week, in consequence of The Sab
sclijrr getting slightly fuddled in his
Christmas revels. 1t is to be hoped
that he will he able to resume his ar
dnnnsn . mot esnilitnous D duties