Nebraska advertiser. [volume] (Brownville, Nemaha County, N.T. [Neb.]) 1856-1882, 1859-12-08


were the use of che carriage tiie lohig
consideration Il is bseause af ths
eclat which The carriage viii eire. ihst
be enters on those additional anxiaues,--
Home Journal.
Haven't Got aB5 OF yOUF Size.
Any one who has lived in Cincinnati
writes Brads, for ten or fifteen years,
will remember E., the tailor, one of he
Oldest, and best Of his craft, as well as one
Of the joliiest, always as ready 10 take 3
joke as 10 give one. Il is used 10 be
considered the fair thing among e eselect
party" to send persons to his store for arr
ticles at variance with what usually coma
stitutes the stock in trade Of members Of
his profession. It so happened cna day,
as one Of the ''party" above mensiohed
was descending the steps Of the Burnett
House, he encountereda q specimen Of Ken. &.
lucky, who enguired of him where be-:
could purchase a jews-harp. OF course
he was directed 10 E.'s store as the esta-
blishment where they KEEP. the largest as
sortment al the most reasonable PRICE
Our friend proceeded at once 10 the place
indicated, and found E. (who by he way
was troubled with an impediulenl Of =
Speech waiting on a customer, ard af4 &.
ter stating has wants, was politely rsques.
ted 70 ''wait a few moments" After
despatching his business with the afore-
said customer, he grayely approached
Kentucky with pair Of gIoue-s strsfchers,
apd observed in a very mild tone, aTF.ws
shall h-haYe to t-lake your m m-nneasura;'
whereupon he inserted the strelchhr into
his mouth, spreading open his counienancs
! TO the fullest exteLt' Of the ''stretch, /" and
with face indicating the utmost seFious-
ness, remarked 10 the aslonished Kens
tuckian, "H-young man, w-we hayen'g
ger-ger-got any Of y-your s-size w
On the door Of lipling shop ia The
town Of H, is posted the following
notice: laI ''I
"The proprietor has closed doors for
thirty days, he having the Agus being
drunk, and net very we'll himself.
ai It rau t''61'is3
A discussion arose at coGee-bouse il.
Southampton as to. the nationality. Of q
gentleman at the other end Of the room,
"He's an Englishman, ] know il by bis
head" said one. "He's a Scolchnen,,o-
said another, II know it by his complex
ion" "He's a German, said another,
81 know it by his beard" !" Another
thought be looked ike Spaniard. Here
the conversation rested, but soon one OF
them spoke: II have il, said be, shes
an American; he's got his legs or the
table," -,,
A youth was lately leaving has auns's
house after a visit, when, finding il began
to rain, he caught up an umbrella that
was snugly placed in a corner, and was
proceeding TO open il, when the old lady,
who for the first time observed bis move
ments, sprang towards him, exclaiming:
"NO, no that you never shall! Pveh had
that umbrella twenty-three years, and II
has never been wet yet, and I'm sure i
shan't be weted nowp'
A young lady remarked to a fOp The
other day that his penknife, in one re-
speet, Tesembled him. The ladies' in the
room commenced guessing whas il could
be. At last a smart-looling little bog.
who until now sat in one corueT, silent,
was asked to guess. After examining
the knife closely, he turned round, and
IN a cunning manner said, hWell, don't
know, unless because it's dull. asa3 p
lWhat wise comnensat;ons prov;3s,es
does aGord," exclaimed a pretty belle
during blow few days SINCE 'sThe
same wind that muses. our crin6line,
blows dust in the eyes Of The wicked =.
young men who would take advantage Of
our admirable confusion" Philosophical
young woman, that. .s'1
An advertisement, setting forth the
many conVeniences and advantages 70 Be
derived from metal window-sashes, among
other particulars observed ethat these
sashes would last forever, and afterwaFd,
if the owner had no ofurther use for them,
they might be sold for old iron"
Dan says that whenever be wants a
hot bath, and hasn't the money 10 pay for
~ uC udo OLiy " tcAA utS Bal tll-l nc utd
made up his mind TO select another sweet.
heart, and he is in hot water Directly.
A gentleman having a musical sister,
being asked what branch she excelled IN,
declared that the piano was her forte.
An Irlshman meeting cOuniTyman IN
quired his name. walsh" said the
gentleman. walsh" responded Paddy.
"are you from Dublin? know two Ould
maids there of that name; was either Of
them your mother 90 0
Spare moments are the gold dust Of
time. OF all the portions Of our life,
spare moments are the. most fruitful for
good or evil. They are The gaps through
which temptation finds The easiest access
70 the soul.