Ashtabula weekly telegraph. [volume] (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1853-1873, 1859-04-02

generation. -.
august 1st. accomplish this day my
forty-6rst year. But feel myself still
young ] fancy ] could now first rightly
begin to live for Others, If only / had the
time. Fresh feelings, new thoughts, come
up with the fresh breezes from the sea; and
views open vast as infinite space Could /
develope---could impart oil that dawns
within me; but it cannot be on earth for
l must shortly die And do Bot wish to
live when can no longer work. l wish
not as a proftless burden TO consume the
little that may have to leave to my sis
ters. Maria is benefited by the sea-bath-
ing, the fresh conntry-life, and am also
able tc go out with her in boat-excursions
among the rocks
How fresh, and at the same time pccu-
larly Swedish, is the character of this scene
ry. The stranger sees only, in the first in
stance, naked gray cliffs, in the midst of the
roaring waves; everywhere rocky islands
and reefs. He approaches them, and as if
by magic, they open themselves, and re-
veal in the bosom Of the rocks, charming
groves and gardens, in which tall white
lilies bloom, and ivy and wild honeysuekles
Chamber around the messy granite. The
vegetation is splendid in the little valleys at
the foot of the mountains; and from every
point the visitor g0Zes out over the restless
blue sea, and breathes its refreshing but
soft air Oh, this sea, how many thoughts
it awakens-thOughts WHICH here on earth
l shall never be able to work out.
august IN. Is it the disease which
gains ground, or is it this want of occupa-
,ion which does not agree with me ?-but
my sleeplessness increases, and bitter
thoughts and feelings which cannot bear,
and from which beseech of God to deliver
me, have again awoke. The sight of my
sisters even awakes them, for what is to be-
come of them when am gone My faith
erly friend, Judge Carlson, is also gone
They have no friend, no support Both
are well gifted, but not extraordinary, only
in their nobility Of mind and their selfsac-
rifcing love. How different would have
been their lot if they had been early accus-
! toned to exercise their powers in q noble
independence, in an atmosphere Of freedom,
and if the property which-silence silence,
bitter thought, silence. -f
'God-ali good Father, it is not thee
|
clared woman to be free, and hast endowed
her with manifold good gifts, and hast ere
ated the earth rich and beautiful. The
bonds which thou hast laid upon her are
those of love, are those of His spirit On,
how willingly do bow myself before thy
laws But before human statutes, which
bind what thou hast unbound which close
up the paths which thou hast made open,
which limit, which impoverish, which mete
out the liberty which thou hast given to
all, which clip the wings of conscience and
power, that souls may be kept in the dust
'AwgaSt I0M. The venomous serpent
will not give way, and this is a sign to me
that must to my home, that l may work,
work for others while it is yet day. This
will give me peace. / shall leave Maria in
charge Of Ingeborg Hedermann and return
home with my Martha.
'Iduna-haU, September. Again in my
home with my accustomed surroundings, in
my school, and | am better, calmer. There
is, in the activity Of the mind for others, q
powerful, salutary influence. 1t is one Of
the renovating fruits of lduna.
October. But shall not much longer
be able to work. must give up my week
day school. My last moments must be de-
voted to my holiday-School DR.. Heder-
mann assures me that shall not live over
the winter. Thank God l need not con-
snme the little that would leave to my
sisters by long illness
Il had yet much to say to them and my
other young friends, but must now con-
centrate oil in one central point, in the one
thing necessary for their well being, their
life. | will impress upon their hearts, or
more correctly speaking their consciences,
as forcibly as / myself feel it, their eternal
destination, their responsibility as human
beings, and felow-members of community,
embracing the whole human race, to mite
it through Christ in God, with his heaven
ly community Of free sanctiied spiritual
beings. And therefore be thou alone our
teacher during the remaining time, thou
good Shepherd of Souls aud may thy
greatness and those views which thou open
est into human life, nature, eternity, new
heaven and new earth, obliterate every
thing small and circumscribed, and separate
all sclishness from the young, SO that they
may understand Thy exhortation and thy
love-
Then shall die contented Some one
more fortunate than l may accomplish the
work which begun, but nevertheless the
work is begun, aud see around me a little
flock which will combat for better future
in the name of truth aud conscience"
In the spring her Diary contains the fol-
loWing:- 400
'AprA Dr. Hedermann has deceived
both himself aud me. still live. and may
perhaps have long to live in this state
My sisters my sisters Is il / who shall
make you poorl Father let me not live
to become a burden TO them, to impoVer-
ish them.
.A@gnst. My Iduna, all my beloved
statues, my library, my pictures are-sold
to one, who will convert them into orna-
ments for bis villa. have been compelled
to sell them, that / may not lessen the
small. necessary capital which have set
aside for my sisters. endeavor to bear
it with Indifference, but it wrirgs my heart,
He who couple Of weeks later bad seen
the festive assembly 10 the Iduna-hall. one
beautiful September afternoon, would not