The Kenosha telegraph and tribune. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1859-1860, 1859-09-08
IL h Il WI TIE s.

DID any one ever see any meal made from the
wild oats people SOW in their youth.
A MAN never SO beautifully shows his OWL
strength as when he respects woman's weak
ness.
WHAT a poor world this would be without
women and newspapers. How would the news
get around
WHY cannot deaf man be legally convictedl
out hearing.
NEW sewng-machine to collect rents, memo
manners, and repair famild breeches, would FIND
a ready sale.
II The reason why whales frequent the
Arctic sea, is probably because they supply the
" northern lights " with oil
A FELLOW who was caught beating his wife
excusey himself, saying, 1.-The treasures which
we value most, we hide.''l .e
THOSE who get along most happily after mar
rage are those who are most candid with each
other before that event. -5
DON'T expect to be good fellow moment
longer than you consent to do precisely what
other people wish you to do.
THE young lady who was suffering from the
ar'ache, was completely cured by young man
whispering few words in it.
A PRETTY sIMILE.--Scandal, like the Nile, is
fed by innumerable streams but it is extremely
difficult to trace it to its source.
HEwho gives pleasure, meets with it. Kind
ness is the bond of friendship, and the hook Of
love; he who sows not, reaps not. I
The gentleman who stood upon ceremony,
has lost his footing, and now finds that he hsS
slipped out Of very pleasant circle.
IT is bad meddling with train of gunpow,
der; bat if you want TO be blown up to dead
certainty, just tread on lady's train.
THE youne lady who burst into tears, has
been put together again, and is now wearing
hoops to prevent a recurrence of the accident
A WESTERN editor thinks Hiram Powers, the
sculptor, is swindler, because he chiseHed al
unfortunant Greek girl out Of block Of marble
Miss Nancy says man is good for nothing
until he is married; and according to her expe
rience, he amt worth but dreadful little when
he is
ADVICE to young men: Live temperately7
go to church-love ell the pretty girls-marry
one of them-live like a man, and die like
Christian. a-.-
THE earth is like tender and kind mother T.
the husbandman and yet at one season he al
ways harrows her bosom, and at another pluck
her ears. }a taaa
WITH true wife, her husbands faults should
be sacred. A woman forgets what is due to her
SELF when she descends for refuge to a female
confident.
THE progress of knowledge is slow, Like the
sun, we cannot see it moving latter while
we perceive that it has moved-nay, that it ha
moved onward
A locomotive on one of the principal rail
| roads has been adorned with the title, C still
live" That is more than many of the passen,
gers. can say at the end of the jou rney.
"ARE you near sighted ~ said an impertinen
fellow to young lady who did not choose t.
recognize him. Eyes, at this distance 1 can
hardly tell whether you are pig or puppy.
A stiff-necked politician, living near Detroit
recently refused to let his daughter marry the
man of her choice, because he didn't vote ths
regular ticket" But the shrewdest politician
is no match for girl, and the marriage took
place in the parlor, while the old gentleman wal
holding caucus in his library. q