The south-western. [volume] (Shreveport, La.) 1852-1870, 1859-05-25

At late fancy ball at Paris, appeared one Of the
greatest bellies of society, dressed as Diplomacy
Sne had the double mask of Janus, one side Of her
head smiling, and the other frownipg. She had
pen IN one hand and buckler In the other. Then
she danced acurious new dance, called the Ultima
tum which consists Of taking one step forward and
two backwards
Once boy was asked BY the "domine" what part
OF speech with was.
"A noun, sir" said the boy.
You young blockhead" cried the padagogue,
what example can you give Of such thIngf'
81 can tell you, sir, interrupted Scott; you know
there's in the bible which says, they bound
Samson with withs"
There is a lady in Pennsylvania Of such a sweet
temper that she salt into sugar by touching it.
Her husband is making fortune by selling molas
ses made from vinegar. He buys barrel Of the IL
qnId, the lady looks in the bunshold and in two
days after he sells it Tor sugar house, at fifty cents
gallon.
Virtue and talents, though allowed their due con
sIderauon, yet are not enough TO procure man a
we.come wherever he comes. Nobody contents him
sell with rough diamonds, or wears them so When
polished and set, then they give a lustre.
An ONO editor says: "WhAt can be more captiva-
ting than to see beautiful woman, say about four
feet eleven inches high and eleven feet four inches
IN circumference passing along the aisle just as d.
vine worship comneHcesi"
How entirely memorable is the nature Of facts,
whether recognized or not, ascertained or not how
VAN ali cunning of diplomacy management aud
sophiatry TO save any mortal who does stand on
ing truth Of things, from sinking in the long run
Very touching and beautiful the words OF the
old schoolmaster, as life passed away 1T is grow
ing dark--ihe school may be dismissed" Down 10
the very gates Of world he carries his love
and regard for The children whom lie had trained.
What delicious breath marriage sends forth. The
violet beds not sweeterl Honest wedlocl is like
banquetlng house, built III garden, on which the
spring flowers take delight to cast their pure modest
olprs.
Mr.. Pullup coming home late "pretty full, I" finds
the walk slippery, and exclaims: ~ ver-very sin
gular, whenever water freezes it allu8 frfreezes
with the sl-slppeTy side up; dem'd singular.
Some authors write nonsense in clear ye, others
sense IN an obscure one reason without
being able to persuade; others persuade without
being able 10 reason.
1t is extraordinary how many defects we can dis
Germ in a friend after we have guarreled with him
The same remark applies to a woman after she has
rejected US.
If you viii have your laws obeyed without mutt
ny, see well that they be pieces OF God Almightys
law, otherwise all the artillery in the world will
keep down mutiny.
We have read Of a man who complained bitterly
against the sun, because it wasted mitch heat in
July, instead OF preserving 1t for the winter when
1t was most needed.
Among the marriages in Cincinnati lately, was
Mr.. Moon to Miss Shine In this case no one will
deny that marriage is moon shine.
Leave your grievances as Bohaparte did his let
tiers, unopened for three weeks and it is astonish-
require answering.
When does a clergyman resemble man who is
correct i'll what he says? When he's a curate, (ac-
curate)
The man who would shine in conversation, must
possess original ideas and strong sympathies-be
able both to communicate and to listen.
noble love calls forth mans highest powers and
he knows himself the nearer and dearer to her whom
he loves, the more worthy he is.
The man WHO travels a thousand hours may be
to!eraby quick footed; but he isn't touch to the
woman who keeps up with The fashions
An alderman having grown enormously fat while
in office, wag wrote on his back ''Widened at the
expense of the corporation"
Honesty, says Jerrod, without sharpness in this
world, is like a sword without edge or pont-very
well for show, but of no real use I'd the owner
Heroic toll, and silence, and endurance lead to the
high places Of this universe, and the golden noun
tain tops where dwell the spirits cfthe dawn,
The best advice we have yet seen in a Boston pa
per, is this Never 60 where yo4 wouldn't like to
be found dead"
Why are ladies the biggest thidyes in existence2
Because they steel the Pettcoats, Boae the stays and
crib the babies
II may be a question not easy TO decide whether
an individual, entitled to sort Of respect, has
right to respect himself
The woman who never nterfered with her hus-
bands affairs arrived in town tile other day. she
is an old maid
Flowers fling their wealth uron vacant air, and
rich men often fling theirs upon tile vacant heir.
Shadows so many little evenings trying to
hide themselves from the eye Of day