davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1859-09-07
Temperance.

Temperance.
The Dashaway Temperance Society is q.
thriving League" in San Francisco The
original nineteen starters were habitues Of
an engine-house, and members of the COM
pany that propelled the machine They
had been four or five days and nights on q
frightful tear without going out of the
house, when snakes and other insects"
that usually follow such orgies began to.
appear. At length drawn of reason
reached one of the party, who was worm
eaten clean tarough, when he rose on his,
tottering legs and nervously exclaimed,
Boys, let's dash this ID stuff away and,
drink no more" Agreed" said three or
four. ''Fm hanged if don't" says anoth.
er, and SO on by degrees tho whole nine
teen came in and signed moral "Declara-
ton of Independence" Subsequently, the
whole company signed the contract. From
this little point started the ''Dashaway AS,
sociation," numbering now about fifteen
hundred members, including in its number
the first Governor of California, who has
been for years a confirmed inebriate; also
lawyers, actors, and civilians, of all grades,
from the highest to the lowest-from those
who tippled in fashionable society, in FASH
ionable saloons, among the politicians of
the day, always liberal about election tims,
to those who took their quiet "snifter," Of
double-breasted Minnie-rite whisky on the
docks and wharvcs. rfa
The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1859-09-07

DEMOCRATIC DIvIsIoN.-We quote the
following observations, from the Boston
Post: -....... =.
The Democrats Of the country may differ.
in opinion about certain men, measures, and
even principles, but after all their discus
sions, they will finally unite in securing
success for their regularly organized action
The voice Of the majority will be heard
through this organization and that voice will
be regarded in every State in the Union.--
Our opponents may flatter themselves that
because some of our ranks scod--some
bolt-some sell themselves to the enemy
the integrity of the Democratic party
broken-its fidelity shaken It's progress
steadily onward, and no threats or device
can turn it to victory after victory, and
which will yet crown it with triumphs
superior to those it has before achieveb.
The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1859-09-07

"A correspondent of the Boston Jour-.
nat, thus notes the personel Of Miss Fanny
Bartlett and her 60 years old groom
Miss Bartlett, who is to marry the
Cuban of untold wealth." is at the Con-
gress. She is of course the observed of
all observers. And the little, small sharp,
faced, dark-visaged old man of 60 who is
to bear away this choice flower, is enyied
greatly. The lady is young, elegant and
tall; mhen he stands up on the second stair he
is on the lecst ,cith has intended. The whole
party, including the father of the lady, Mr..
Bartlett, have left for Lake George. This
arrangement has been most happy one.
for the father. He has now an elegant
house in 14th street, and has been told by
his intended sonin-law that for future he
need have no care. 81 ~
The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1859-09-07
WHOLE NO, l51.
Ell Thayer on the Aeitators.

AslA ARSyOr On the AG1t0e0ros
Eli Thayer, a Republican Congressman
from Massachusetts,, comes down on the
agitators in = forcible and eloquent style.
Thayer seems to be an honest man:
There is another class sir, composed of
the political Cassandras Of the Republican
party, who are always prophecying, in the
middle of one great disaster, that another
still greater is about to come--who are con-
tinually saying that slavery has always had
its own way, and always will have it-that
slavery under the Dred Scott decision, will
yet be established in Massachusetts, and
New Hampshire--that secret intrigues arc
going on for establishing it in Canada, as
well as for putting the White Mountains
and Cape Cod under the lash. Laughter).
| have an account to settle with these men.
| have met them and found them great
ilnpediment to the progress of freedom in
this country. In the contest for free men
and free labor in Kansas, affirm here that
they were q greater obstacle to our progress
than the Border Rufians, or the bad travel
ing in the State of Missouri-for they were
filling the country. with the cry that Kan.
sas was lost .
" With quivering lips and moist eyes they
went about saying that all ,sas lost The
effect was to send hundreds and thousands
of men, who would have joined our good
colonies in Kansas, shivering away to the
cold regions Of Minnesota. Ihave no sym.
pathy with these men. Of this class was
Uzza in the days of David, who thought
that, because the oxen stumbled, the ark
of the Lord would surely fall; and he
stretched out his trembling hand in support
Of Omnipotence. Smitten by the Power
which his doubts had insulted, faithlcss
Uzza died upon the spot. Why any such
are left is not so clear Without faith
either in the power of God OF the destiny
of man, they libel freedom and slander free
men. They have no joy in the present,
predestined to disaster and defeat and woe
to the party or project in which they as
sumo authority or exercise influence.
ITO man Of this class the present life
is one perpetual nightmare; and what the
future will be, who can say? Can he be
saved? Can man be saved without faith,
or hope, or works, with only repentance
and even that consisting not in sorrow for
his own sins, but for other peoples virtues?
Laughter). Why, what ifby some chance
he were once in the Holy City ?-he would
be no more saced than he was before. He
never would see the tree of life-nevel
would have harp in his hand-but spy.
glass, and skulking about the battlements
and pcering off into illimitable space Qaugh.
ter); if he should chance to see Dred Scott
or the Supreme Court, even though they
might be beyond the great gulf, he would
think they were coming to establish slavery
on the golden pavements Of the New Jeru-
| salem. (Laughter).
The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1859-09-07
Icy We have receieved n noet;cal r,

w We have received poetical COM
munication from young womao who
signs herself LlNNIE, in which she informs
US with fearful pathos that she wants to
die" In fact, this is the entire burden Of
her plaintive song. Now we exceedingly
regret this unnatural and unfeminine dis
position on the part of Miss |" LlNN1E," and
sympathize with her in the deep afaiction
under which she is evidently laboring, but
we respectfully and afectiOnately decline
publishing her effusion. If "LINNIe" had
informed US that she wanted to marry, or
wanted to be kissed, or in short, desired
anything reasonable, we would take pleasure
not only in announcing the fact, but crafty
ing her innocent desires at. the earliest
possible period. We take it for granted
" LlNSIE is good looking and don't eat
onions. We sincerely hope LINNIE" will
Immediately abandon her mortuary in
tentions, for the present at least, and not
think of dying until the present bountiful
wheat crop is nearly eaten up. RocAestsr
Free Press.
The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1859-09-07
Anecdote Of. Far Man.

AuecOOtc Oh q rat MAN.
" Bridget" said lady in the city of
Gotham, one morning, as she. was, recon.
noitering in her kitchen, to her servant.
what quantity Of soap grease You have
got there. We can got plenty Of soap for
it, and we must exchange it for sonc. -
Watch for the fat man, and when be comes.
along, tell him want to speak to him."
Yes, ms'am," says Bridget between,
each whisk Of her dish-cloth, keeping q
bright lookout from the kitchen window,
and no moving creature escaped her watch.
full gaze. At last her industry sccmedto
be rewarded, for down the street came n
large, poruy gentleman, fourishinga . cane,
and looking the picture of good humop.
Sure when he was in front Of the house,
out she few and informed him that her
mistress wished to speak to him. 5HT
Speak to me, my good girl?' asked the
gentleman. r.eEE ...i T.. .E.fsH e .r
:" Yes sir, wants to speak to ye, and say
would you be good enough TO walk ia sir!"'
: This request, so direct, was not to lie re-
fused so in state Of some wonderment,
up the steps went the gentleman, and up
stairs went Bridget and knocking at her
mistress door; put her head in and, exclaim-
ed: ...4 ,,.@4 M e., ..as ~
Fat gentleman's in the parlor num-"
So saying she instantly withdrew to the
lower regions. ..tfaE .'
I'm the parlor p thought the lady,,
what can it mean? Bridget must have
blundcred,' but down to the parlor she,
went, and up rose our fat friend with his.
blandest smile and most graceful bow .-.
!" Your servant informed me, madam, that
yen would like to speak to meat your SER
vice, madam" '..'-.....
The mortified mistress saw the state Of,
the case Immediately, and smile wrcathcd,
itself about her mouth in spite Of herself,
and she said: =.
"Wil you pardon the terrible blunder of
raw Irish girl, my dear sir? /? I told her
to call in the fat man to take away the soap,
grease, when she made a mistake; yousee."
The jolly fat man leaned back in the
chair and laughed such hearty ha ha r.
ha !! as never come from your lean gen.
try. .asg. .t. f.e t -
!" No apologies needed, madam" said he,
I" it is decidedly the best joke of the season.
IIa, ha, ha, SO she took me for the soap.
grease man, did she? 1t will keep me
laughing for months-such good joke ~
And all up the street and around the cor.
ner was heard the merry ha! ha |! of the
old gentleman, as he brought down the cane
every now and then, and exclaimed such a.
joker ..,...-. ,..-.
The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1859-09-07
The Great Eastern.

The Great Eastern.
As this monstrous steamship is now en-
tirely completed, and about to sail to our
shores, the following statistics in regard to
her dimensions and capacity, will be found
highly interesting to many of our readers
Length between perpendiculars, $50 #.
Ditto over all on upper deck, SOL It.
Breadth of hall, s3 #.
Height from bottom Of ship to top Of
iron Of upper deck, 58ft.
Diameter of paddle-wheels, 56 #.
Ditto Of screw propeller, "a #.
Number Of blades to ditto, 4.
Weight Of screw propeller, 40 tons.
Height Of principal saloons, l3 #
Weight of iron in the construction of the
hull, about 1000 tons.
Ditto Of ship, with machinery, Goals, car.
60 and full equipment, about $4,000 tons.
Draught Of water at that weight, 80 #.
Sin.
Weight Of each of the paddle-engine
cylinders, about 40 tons.
Number of ditto, 4.
Diameter of do, 81 inches.
Length Of stroke, 4 feet.
Screw-engincs about 1000 horse power.
Weight Of shafts for paddle-engincs, 80
tons. ....
Weight Of shafts for screw engine, $50
tons.
Number of boilers to paddle engines, 4.
Weight of one pair Of do, including fun
nsls, 81 tons. 3
Thickness Of the plates, in the bulk
heads, ! inch.
Do, in the skins, 4 inch.
Number,of rivets used in the construction
Of the ship, about 1900, 900.
Number Of masts, 6; Of these will be
square-riggcd, sswell rs fore-and-aft rugged.
The remaining two will be forc-and-aft rig
ged.
Total quantity of canvas in sails about
62OO square yards
There will be two screw-steamers. one
carried on each side abaft the paddle box
es, as jolly-boats. Their dimensions are !:
Length 100 feet; beam 10 feet: measure
ment l20 tons horse power ~.
And there will be about twenty ordinary
boats carried in addition, with masts and
sails completed,
The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1859-09-07
Fashionable Murder !!

1t is very simple-it is successfully &C.
complished every day and every hour, with,
out even policeman or grand jury to in
terfere. If murder is wrought by sharp
knife or cleaning barrelled pistol, under
cover of starless night, the public is hor.
riied; but fashionable murder, genteelly
done-why, that's different affair, alto.
gether! Take your victim-the younger
tresher, and more blooming, the better
girls of sixteen are the best subjects.
Wedge their feet into thin soled kid slippers
and gauzy silk stockings; compress their
lungs into the iron grip Of those popular
instruments Of torture called corsets; dress
them up in silk, and lace, and pearls, taking
particular care to leaye the throat and chest
bare. Then send them off to balls and par
ties, with boquets in their hands, just about
the time they ought to be going to bed.
Feed them with the slow poisons of lobster
salad, champagne and French pates; whirl
them round in the waltz until they are sick
and dizzy, and then set them in some nice
draught of air to cool down for another
dance. Keep them up until two or three
o'clock every morning; let them sleep in
the day time, when the rose-lipped country
damsels are gathering health and strength
from every mountain breeze. Don't allow
them to exercise, lest it should make their
compilations vulgarly rcd; don't let them
do anything that shall ijure their lily
hands; give them soft, sentimental novels
to read, and nice little dogs in Berlin wool
to work; send them to Saratoga when they
begin to pine, and stimulate their sinking
systems with wine, lsqueurs, and poisonous
drugs. Then, when the face has acquired
the exact hue of interesting paleness, and
milliners pronounce the dwindled shape
divine," you may consider the prepara-
tons as complete. The poor victim will
drop away, before you know it, Of no par
ticular complaint, saving and excepting the
"dispensations Of Providence!' And this
is Fashionable Murder !-Miln0Mkcs News.
The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1859-09-07

A PosER.-Ned was arguing in favor of
giving woman the elective franchise "Why
shouldn't woman vote as well as men? Are.
they not as capable of forming correct opin-
ions on political subjects? Many weman
knows more than her husband" "They
may be, said Jim, but do you suppose I'd
have rascally politicians come electioneering
with my wife?" Ned was silenced.
The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1859-09-07

~A gentleman meeting another on
the street, said: -
81 perceive you are bachelor"
Why sop was the response.
because you have hole in your stock
ing - ---....
The accosted gentleman looked his
friend straight in the eye, saying:
"Sir . hole in the heel of a stocking is
an accident of a day; darn is premcdi-
tated poverty"
The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1859-09-07

WANTED TO BE BETTER DRESSED. Saws.
correspondent to contemporary WIFE
and l were looking at some pictures in
which little naked angels were quite conspci-
uous. She called the attention of our wee
daughter to them, and remarked-'Lizzy
dear, if you are good girl and go to hca-
ven, you will look like those angels
Lizzy looked up with lip that told at
once that she didn't appreciate the promise,
and said-'I want to be better dressed when
| 90 to heaven =" =
The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1859-09-07

Rogers, the poet banker, once said.
"If was compelled to make . choice, /
wo'd not hesitate to prefer dsspotism to
anarchy" "Then you would do" rep!ied
Horne Tooke, 'as our ancestors did At the
Reformation-rejected purgatory and kept
hell. - - rs l.s..s srs{.
The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1859-09-07

wA very young gentleman beng on q
visit to friend in this place, the other day,
had one of our friends interesting boys on
his knees, caressing him-when the child
looked into beardy's face with a perplexei
air, and asked, "Can you talks Cause
don't see any mouf for talk to come out ste''
The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1859-09-07
Queen victoria,s Genealogy.

!
The genealogy Of Queen Victoria is thus
given by learned cotemporary: She is
| daughter of the Duke of Kent, who was
the son Of George the Third; who was the
grandson of George the Second; who was
the son Of Princess Sophia; who was the
cousin Of Annie; who was the sister of
William and Mary; who were daughter and
son-in-law Of James the Second; who was
the son Of James the First; who was the
son of Mary who was daughter of Henry
the Eighth who was the son of Henry the
Seventh; who was the son of the Earl of
Richmond; who was the son of Catherine,
the widow of Henry the Fifth; who was
the son of Henry the Fourth; who was the
cousin Of Richard the Second; who was
the grandson of Edward the Second; who
who was the son of Henry the Third; who
was the son of John; who was the son of
Matilda; who was the daughter of Henry
the First who was the brother of William
Rufus who was the son Of William the
Conqueror; who was the bastard son Of the
Duke Of Normandy, by tanners daugh-
ter of Calaise.
We observe, by the way, that at the sug-
gestion of Mr.. Emile de Girardin, the great
French journalist, one NJ A. Charguerard
has written book whose object is to ami
hilate the distinction which civilized society
has hitherto been accustomed to make be-
tween legitimate and illegitimate children.
The way these gentlemen propose to ac-
complish this object is by collecting in this
book a list Of the most illustrious bastards,
living and dead, and parading their deeds
before the world. NJ. de Girardin has writ
ten preface for this book, in which he says
he neither "boasts nor conceals the fact" of
his belonging to the prescribed class of lille
gitimates. We have not room for this sin
gular preface, but it is certainly plausible
production. Among the illustrious bas-
tards enumerated in NJ. Charguerard's book
Les Batards Cslebres-are the following:
Hercules, Ishmael, Themistoclcs, Romulus,
Charles Martel, William the Conqueror,
Tancred, Manfred, Catharine Sforza, Eras-
mus, Boccacio, Caesar Borgia, Pizarro, Gar
diner, Archbishop of Winchester, Marshal
Berwick, Marshal SAKE, Lady Hamilton, and
great many others, including Kings, En-
,perors, Popes, Generals, Authors, etc.
The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1859-09-07
Seleet gnetrp.

Il. THE PRINTER.--lA PARODY.
BY T. II. M'ELRoY.
With fingers weary worn;
at With eyes unpleasant to see,
typo stood by his long-legged stand,
As busy a. he could be.
Click, click, click,
The types drop from bis hand.
And thus Ger his case from day to day,
..4, Wearily runs his hand
., Click, click, click,
As evening wears away,
40 5f a And click, click, click,
- As night. dissolvss in day.
..4 weary iifss the print es's-
.....-..zr life devoid OF ease, .t.. ...-. -.
But his misiom Is high and holy,
Let others say what they please.
Ys millions who now are resting
ID --.Es.ts On pillows made for ease,
Dreaming Of specs" that bring in the cash
,. Not any too slow to please,
/ would here rsmiud you Of one
LssAS Whose viion, are less than his dues;
SWhSss pocket u lask-whose credit " blank,
And whose sosrding bill gives bin, the blue
Ye aspirants Who hover around
The gttsring adornments OF fame,
And siGh tyr come spot wbereon to enscribe
The initials Of one honest name,
Remember the printer whose labors derids
The power Of kings or the will Of their wivss,
Hay let you slide.
His voice is the voice o the free;
Ills will the will Of the land.
The poor he makes rich he rich he makes poor
And all by move OF the handt
Yet. he IL no necromancer,
Or given to ledgerdemain
Albeit, ne practices the art of deception,
For when setting he's standing quite plain.
Click, click, click,
At his case by the morning light,
And click, click, click,
Far into the hours Of night.
Now-son" q long editorial
That will pull down some we'll studied scheu,
Now 'on' little, short notceperhaps by the local
That will make some poor al scream.
And this is the life Of printer,
A lite devoid of ease, 49,
But his mission Is high and holy,
Let others say what they please.
The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1859-09-07

R-TnE Bishop of Troyes commenced
a recent circular to his clergy thus: "God
has written magnificent page of history,
tcith tho assistance Of France" After this
fashion, Frenchman patronizes the Deity
whenever he wishes to do some tall writ
ing.
The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1859-09-07

"Johny," said doting mother to
her somewhat Unsuitable son, "can you eat
that pudding with impnnity ?"-'I don't
know, ma" quoth young Hopeful, "but
/ s'pose can with spoon"
The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1859-09-07

n OUD roars the dreadful thunder,
II And the rain begins to drop,
Though clouds may r.nd asundsr,
We are always In the shop.
In readiness to shave you to dress your hair,
Or sell to those who pay for little stock
have hair oils and perfumeres for all the who need
And the n, rh Iowa lines for customers to read
We will clean your clothes when greasy trep your
.za- when they're dull,
So that shaving may be easy. when the BARRIERS
not we'll.
Shop adjoining tho American Hotel. -
CROMWELL 4 THOMPSON,
1- Rarb~rs and Hair DresEers.
The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1859-09-07

tB-A genius from the land of wooden
nutmcgs says he has invented machine
which will, when set in motion-but that's
! the difficulty-chase hog over ten acre,
lot, catch, yoke and ring him. -
The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1859-09-07

eB-There is a lady at Taunton SO. hand
some and SO proud. that she says there is
only one thing in the world worth looking
at, and that is-a mirror. Hs.# ;,a,s ,
The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1859-09-07

E-An old maid who hates All mention
of the male sex, has cut q female acquaint-
ance who complimented her upon the buoy
ancy of her spirits. s.
The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1859-09-07
CALI. ME THINE.

CALL ME THINE.
asked my love, one happy day,
What should I call bcr in my lay
BY what sweet name from Rome or rcsce,
Nera, Laura, Damphne, Chloris,
Dorimenc, or Lucrece.
All replied my gentle fair,
Dear one what are name. but airi
Choose thou VIII at ever suits the line
Call me Laura, coll me Chloris,
Call me Lalage or Doris,
Only, only call me s'Thine."
The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1859-09-07

,p 10 do good is Of the very nature Of
God, as it is the nature Of fire to warm, or .
light to shine. ,s., t-.e
The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1859-09-07
COOpcrage.

"AVING established tho Coopering business .,
IL McGregor, am now prepared to do most kinds
of work my line, such =
And all other Wooden Ware. warrant all my wori
and the money will be refunded If any Of it fails HI
as represented. will pay cash for
$4,000 staves for Pork Barrels,'
Shop on Ann street, near the brick Academy.
- IT,. ISAAC Mathews .
McGregor Dec 8. l858-Stf,
The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1859-09-07

~ Great takers are like banks-they
issue ten times the amount Of their capital
The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1859-09-07
A NJ RIG A N II o U 5 +

KANE g. SONS, PrOprietors.
ments in the above iIouse and refurnshed with
new Furniture throughout and owing to the low price
of Provisions and the very liberal patronage bestowed
Of BOAR d to 81 per day.
We can assure the public that the accommodations
Of the American shall not be surpassed by any House
in the city. -'..
Milwaukee, July II, lS53n13u
The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1859-09-07

Postvil1e,. Iowa.

III B. HAZLETON. begs leave to announce to
|" the people Of Postvillc and vicinity that he
has located at this point, and II now Of
ferinR for sale, ut McGascoR PRIcss, good assort-
ment ct -s' - - -
MERCHANDISE OF ALL K.NDS.
Wanted in a country store. have Dry Goods, Gro.
ccres, Boots and Shoes, QHeensware Hardware, Hats
and Cap Furnishing Goods, &C., &c.
Produce taken in Exchange for Goods.
Postville, July 9th. lS59m2 .f...T .a.s- b. .
The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1859-09-07
CITY HOTEL

NIEAR the steamboat and Terry Landings, Gutten-
N berg, Iowa. b. II. EVEsLAGE, Proprietor
Lur,e comfortable and well-furnshed Stabiing at
ache cd to the premises. - ll.ItIl z