Holmes County Republican. [volume] (Millersburg, Holmes County, Ohio) 1856-1865, 1859-11-03
And as he spoke, the Jew's-harp gayly
sfrr,ck nm Yankee Doodle.

And as he spoke, the Jew's-harp gayly
struck up Yankee Doodle.
"very well, you play what you like and
Tildo the same" said Nicodemus, solemnly
commencing "Hark! from the tombs a
doleful sound" and scraping away groan-
ing accompaniment on the VIOLIN
Oh! wasn't that music, though! In
spite Of my anger it was as much as
could do to keep from burstin right out
laughing. So absurd was it, that even
Poniius Plate was struck by it, and tax
ing the Jews harp from bis mouth, be
said:
'sTell you what, Nicod., this ere won't
do. you know, the tunes don't go well TO-
geiher. S'posen We try '0h, Susannera'
That's solnmn enough, amt itr"
The last "doleful sound" issued from the
"tomb" ere Nicodemus would reply, then
taking the same view of the matter as bis
brother, both patheticsily burst into that
touching and beautiful song, with feel
ing and pathos 1 can give you no idea Of.
Each moment, in the excitement of their
feelings, their voices rose higher and high
er until reaching the refrain they fairly
relied with emotion:
@oh susanncr-r-r-r. don't you cry for me-"
Ny fortitude could endure no more
Exasperated beyond endurance, sezed a
large tub Of slops and dirty water, and
hurled the whole deluge upon them.
With perfect howIs Of anger and dismay
the serenaders ieaped to their feet, and
"Susanner" was abruptly cut in the mid
die. For moment they stood still,
aghast, petri6ed, stunned while unseen l
watched them. All, wasn't that my hour
of triumph, as 1 saw them drenehed from
head to foot, shivering and dripping with
the odorous shower-bath., For moment
they fingered, scarcely able to realize their
catastrophe; then, as il burst upon them,
with wild yell like an Indian war whoop
they leaped the wall and fed as if Satan
was at their heels toward home. / too
made good my escape, just as the whole
family in their night-clothes rushed out to
see who was being murdered, or what
meant the uuearthly sounds that for the
past half hour had been making "night
hideous."
Now, one would have supposed that his
ducking would have cooled the love of
Nnodemus. But no; it didn't. Every
body in the village laughed at him, and
none more than Liza Neil; huzzy, though,
she pretended to Nicodmus she was dying
about him. Little did he, in his trusting
innocence, suppose she was making an un-
mitigated goose of him.
One night, Ibeheld them standing at the
garden gate; and, unperceived, drew near
to listen. They ware planning an elope-
ment for the following night; and he was
in the seventh heaven, while she could
scarcely maintain her gravity. A bright
idea struck me; she would not be at the
place appointed knew, but woald In
the dark, Nicodcmus wonld never recognize
me, and l might yet be Mrs. Cowbabbage,
in spite of fate.
The hour appointed came; yelled and
bonneted, stood trembling with maiden
modesty at the trysting place. The car
riage came, so did Nicodemus; was
handed in, the door closed, and in few
minutes we reached the church. The
minister was waiting; we approached and
stood before him; ten minutes more, and
l would have been a respectable married
female, but my unhappy destiny was
against me. A sudden gust of wind blew
aside, my veil, and Dorothy Eddie stood
revealed!
One wild amazed gaze, and with an un-
earthly squeal of dismay, Nicodemus turn
ed and fed All hope was now over, and
| fell back, kicking and plunging in vIo-
lent Mysteries. The minister restrained
his laughter, had me conveyed home,
when Immediately determinen to be seiz-
ed with brain fever, which | was accord
ingly, raving away, when there was any
body present, in a manner perfectly ap-
pall,ng even TO myself.
As for Nicodemus, he became, as he
justly deserved, the laughing-stock of the
village after that, and went off TO Califor-
MIA in despair. And here Eve remained,
a poor, "forsook," unfortunate old maid
ever since and all through that miserable
wretch, Nicodemus Hateful Coweabbage.
As / said before, if any sensible man in
want of wife would like TO hear from me,
Just let him address note to Dorothy
Diddle, Spister, Frogpond, and perhaps,