The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1859-12-24
Ulle Gnlporia 0elvs.
s.mHnnaX nEcEMRER 24.-Iasa-
A Male and Female Red Warmus on
their Wedding Tour.
Thea v;sa Parkers5ery and sat for Pen
Picture from The editor Of the Heaos.

The train from Grafton due mere at IL AZ,
A. NJ, under the management of that gen
tlemanly. amiable, popular and efficient con-
ductor, Captain Scott, few days since stop
ped at one of the way stations, to take on
couple newly married. Both were young
and both were verdant; having been raised
in the wilds of western Virginia, neither of
them had ever been fifty miles away from
home. They had heard of railways, loco
motives, steamboats, and hotels, but had
never experienced the comforts of any of
the afore mentioned institutions. Jeems
and Lie had determined on this, the most
important event in their lives, to visit the
city and see the world, particularly that por-
ton of it known as Parkersberg. No Won
der they were amazed and delighted when
the locomotive, steaming and snorting, with
the train of beautiful crimson cars follow
ing it hove in sight.
These your trunks % said the baggage
master.
"Well. sorter calkilate them's 'em,
said Jeems.
The trunks Ia spotted hair trunk and
very old fashioned yalise, were soon in the
baggage car, followed by Lie and Jeems.
ssI'll be derned eff railroads amt fine
thing" said Jeems, seating himslf on his
luggage and carefully holding up the tails
of his light bodied blue, adorned with re-
splendent metal buttons, out OF the DUST
Lie. set here by me-
..Come out of that said the baggage
man, "you are in the wrong car
sThe hi 1 am! Ode 'spose I don't
know what Pm about? These is my traps,
and 1 calkilate to stay where they ar
Keep quiet Lie they say We've got to
fight our way through the world any how,
and if that chap with the cap on, wants
anything, why, I'm his man. Don't want
any of yer foolin' round me p
Here the Captain interposed and explained
matters, insomuch that Jeems consented to
leave his traps and follow the Captain
What was his delight when he surveyed
the magnifcence of the first class passenger
car into which he was ushered. His mag
ination had never in its widest flights pic
tured anything half SO gorgeous He was
aroused from the contemplation Of the SPLEEN
dor around him by the Shrek of the iron
horse.
Jewhilikens What in thunder's that %
exclaimed Jeems.
That's the horse squealng when they
punch him in the ribs with pitch-fork to
make him go along" said sleepy individ-
ual, Just behind him.
"Look here, stranger" said Jeems, Il
low you think I'm burned fool; may be
am, but there's some things | know, and
one of 'em is, you'll get your mouth broke,
if ye don't keep it shet. / don't say much
Just at this moment they found themselves
in Egyptian darkness, and then was heard
scream, almost equal to that of the engine,
from Lie, as she threw her arms around
the neck of Jeems.
81 knew it 1 knew it % exclaimed the
sleepy looking individual: ''we're all lost,
every mothers son of US. We can just
prepare now to make the acquaintance of
this gentlemen in black, who tends the big
fire down below
go Lord Jeems what will become of
US? l felt skeery about gettin' on the out
landsh thing, at fust.''
keep quiet, Lie! hollerin' won't do
any good now. Eff you know any prayer
now's your time TO say it for both of u.s.
s'What's the matter here ?'' said the as
founded conductor, coming up as the train
emerged once more into the light.
s'That's just what I'd like TO know"
said Jeems, when he saw that Lie and
himself were still alive
"Weve just passed through Eaton's tun
mel, rephed our poiite captain How
far are you going ?"
"Wall, reckon we'll stop at Parkersberg."
''Show your tickets. if you please
'Sertinly, Lie you got some with you ?
Let this gent look at 'em."
Lie drew piece of white paper from
her reticule, and with smile, handed it t.
our friend the Captain, who read
=
The pleasure Of your company IS re- :
spectalty solicited. x
X
whats this ?'' said the Captain.
why, that's one of the tickets to our
weddin; that's what you asked for, haint it ~
SAID the somewhat surprised Jeems.
'.Whaw haw ! haw haw haw ''was
the discordant sound that arose from the
seat of the sleepy looking individual.
A bland smile passed over the face of the
CAPTAIN. as he explained his meaning to our