davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1859-03-05

DIALOGUE ON NEwsPAPERs.-sH
does it happen, neighbor B., that your
children have made SO much greater
progress in their learning, and knowl-
edge Of the world, than mine? They
all attend the same school, and, for
augit l know, enjoy equal advanla-
ges?"
''Do you take the newspapers, neigh
Dor A?''
"No, sir, I do not take them myself;
but [ now and then borrow one, Just
to read. Pray, sir, what have news
papers to do with the education of CHI
dren?"
Why, sir, they have q vast deal to
do with it, assure yon. / should as
soon think Of keeping them from school,
as to withhold from them the newspa-
pers; it is a little school of itself. Be-
ing new every week, it attracts their
attention, and they are storing their
minds with useful knowledge, they :re
at the same time acquiring the art Of
reading, &c. | have often been sur
prised, that men of understanding
should overlook the Importance Of
newspapers in a fan1ily.''
g In truth, neighbor B., I frequently
think ! should like to take them, but I
cannot well afford the expense"
" Cant afford the expense! What,
let ne ask, is the value of the two dol
LARS year, in comparison with the
pleasures and advantages to be derived
from a well conducted newspaper p
AS poor as I am | would not for fifty
dollars year, deprive myself of the
happiness ] enjoy in reading and hear
ing my children read, and talk about
what they have read in the papers,
And then the reflection that they are
growing up intelligent and useful NOM
bers Of society. 0, don't mention the
expense !--pay it in advance every
year, and you will think no more Of it."
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1859-03-05

Discussion WITH AN ILLUSTRATORS
els the sense Of smelling more pleas.
ing than the sense Of tasting ?" was the
subject up before western debating
club in a bar room. Uncle Joe was the
last to speak upon the negative, and all
were ANXIOUS to hear him deliver him
self. Walking up to the bar-keeper.
he called for hot whiskey punch, and
drank it off with great gusto; then tur-
ming to his opponent, he handed the
empty glass to the leading disputant
and Numbered out-"NoU smell 1t, you
varmint - It is needless to add that
Uncle Joe drought down the house, d
and also the decision for the negative.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1859-03-05
"Never mind the Mitten joe"

Look up, dear Joe, with brow of brass,
Forget the giddy, fitting lass,
And let her transient image pass
Though sorely fancy srnitten, Joe.
There's good fish in the deep broad sea,
Sporting there beautiful, fair and free,
And ore, l trow, thine own might be
SO never mind the mitten, Joe.
Forget that girls ensnarins glance
She skins right prettily the dance;
Her vain, proud arts, and dress perchance
10 halls OF mirth are fitting, joe
But mark my words-with such wife,
Tied to thy hand and purse for life,
Thy black and blue days must be rife
SO never mind the mitten, Joe.
| know one-ahe never wore
Upon her fingers golden ore,
Embracing pearls and gems score
Mayh&p you'll think I'm twitting Joe.
Shes rarely at amusement seen;
IN simple robes with modest mein,
And face and form like beauty's queen
She never gave the mitten, Joe.
For why? she's ne'er with frothy arts,
Raised idle flames in silly hearts,
Then feasted on the dying smarts
Of foels 80 quickly bitten, Joe.
Oh, WOO her like a man of sense,
Secure such worth and innocence
Forget that tinselled jilt's offence,
And bless her for the mitten, Joe.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1859-03-05

REAL AND IMAGINARY WANTS.
Very few, we presume, will acknowl-
edge how few real wants we have, and
how little it takes to give us genuine
happiness. If we could get rid of our
artificial, senseless, and expensive way
Of living, we should find ourselves bet
ter off in purse, in prospect, and in
heart. Let every one who has any am
bition to go ahead in life try the exper-
iment this year, and see how much vir-
tue there is in economy. Make your
expenses less than your income, and see
how much you will have gained, not
only in money but in feeling.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1859-03-05
A Hundred Years Ago.

One hundred years ago there was
not single white man in Ohio, Ken
tuckv, Indiana and Illinois territories.
Then, what is now the most flourishing
part Of America, was as little known
as the country around the Mountains OF
the Moon. It was not til 1850 that
the {" Hunter of Kentucky" the gal
liant and the adventurous Boone, left
his home in North Carolina, to become
the first settler Of Kentucky. The first
pioneer Of Ohio did not settle until
eighty years ago, Canada belonged to
France, and the whole population OF
the United States did not exceed a mn,
lion and half Of people. A hul:2reo
years ago, the great Frederick Of Prus-
sla was performing those exploits whlch
have made him immortal III military
annals, and his little monarchy was
sustaining a single handed contest with
Russia, Austria and France-the three
great powers Of Europe combined. a
hundred years ago Napoleon was not
born, Washington was a young and
modest Virginia Colonel, and the great
events in the history Of the two worlds
in which these great but dissimilar men
took leading parts were then scarcely
foreshadoWed.
A hundred years ago, the United
States were the most loyal part Of the
British Empire, and on the political
horizon no speck indicated the struggle
which, within score Of years there
after, established the greatest republic
in the world. A hundred years ago,
there were but four newspapers IN
America-steam engines had not been
imagined, and railroads and telegraphs
had not entered into the remotest con-
ceptions Of man. When we come to
look back at it through the vista Of his
tory, we find that to the century which
has passed has been allotted more i'm
portant events in the bearing upon the
happiness of the world than almost any
other which has elapsed since the ere
alton.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1859-03-05

A G1RL's WORD BETTER THAN THE
BIBLE.-The Warren (Ohio) Chroni-
Gle relates a funny case. A youthful
pair, John and Susan, were determined
to get married. Parents refused con-
sent. The family record in the Bible
said Susan was not eighteen. Susan
told John that the Bible was not true,
she was eighteen. John believed Susan,
and swore before the Probate Clerk
that Susan was eighteen. The father
Of Susan had John arrested for perjury.
Trial was had. Father and mother
testified that Susan was not eighteen,
and the mother said she was there when
Susan was born, and she knew all about
it. It looked squally for John. Pen
itentiary yawned for the victim. Susan
stepped up and testified that she told
John she was eighteen. Court dis
charged John, and Susan jumped up
and kissed him before the people.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1859-03-05
The Ccdsiderate Doctor.

A poor girl who had just recovered
from fit Of sickness, gathered up her
scanty earnings and went to the Doc.
tors office to settle her bill. Just at
the door, the lawyer Of the place pass.
ed into the Office before her on a sim
liar errand.
"Well, doctor, I believe am 1ndebt.
ed to you, and should like to know
how much ?"
Yes said the Doctor, 81 attended
upon you about a week, and what
would you charge me for weeks SER
vices %
"Oh," said the lawyer, "perhaps sev,
enty-fve dollars"
Every we'll, then as my time and pro-
fession are as valuable as yours, your
bill is .seventy-fve dollars
The poor girls heart sunk within her
for if her bill should be anything like
that, how could she ever pay? The
lawyer paid his bill and passe1 out,
when the doctor turned to the young
woman and kindly inquired her errand.
II come" said she, 'Fto know what |
owe you, although I know not that |
can ever pay YOU"
Il attended you about week ?"
Yes, Sir"
"What do you get week ?"
"Seventy-fve cents" said she.
''Is that all %
eyes, SIR"
'FThen your bill is seyenty-fve cents. "
The poor girl paid him thankfully,
and then went back with light heart.
An old rich man Of my acquaintance
was once remarking to the doctor, that
no one earned their money So easily as
he, or could get rich so easily. The
doctor reminded him Of the many loss
he incurred, as they must visit the poor
es we'll as the rich.
"W ELL" said my old friend, "you
charge the rich more, and then you can
afford to lose by the poor"
Not many weeks after, the old man
was obliged to employ the doctor for
some time. At the last visit his bill
was presented and strongly protested
against as enormously high.
sEBut," seid the doctor, 'Syou know
what you told me, and / have only fol-
lowed your advice.''
Not 2 word more was said, but the
amount WAS Immediately paid.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1859-03-05

FALsIEYING.-The habit of falsify,
ing supplies those who are addicted to
it with a plausible apology for every
crime, and with supposed shelter from
every punishment. It tempts them to
rush into danger from the mere expec-
tasion of impunity, and when practiced
with frequent success, it teaches them
to confound the gradations Of guilt,
from the effects of which there is in
their Imagination at least one sure and
common protection. It corrupts the
early simplicity Of youth, it blasts the
fairest blossoms of genius, and will
most assuredly counteract every effort
by which we may hope to improve the
talents and mature the virtues Of those
whom it infects.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1859-03-05
Pate EVasive Answer.

Patrick O'Neil, before he became
joined in "holy bonds of wedlock, :"
was in the service Of Father Conley.-
One day the Priest expected a call
from Protestant Minister, and he
wished some excuse to get rid of him.
So calling Patrick he proceeded to give
some Instructions:
"Patrick," said he, eff that minister
comes hear to-day, l don't wish to see
him."
eyes, yer riverence."
'Make some excuse, and send him
away"
"{That shall I tell him?"
"Tell him that / am not at home"
"Would you have me tell lie, your
reverence?
"No, Patrick, but get rid of him
some way-give him an evasive an
swer."
can evasive answer is it? I will
do it''
You understand me, Patrick ?"
cav coorse, yer riverence"
The matter thus arranged, Father
Conley retired to his library, and Pat
rick went about his duties. About
dusk in the afternoon the priest came
out of his room, and found Patrick in
unusual good spirits.
"Well, Patrick, did the minister call
to-day?"
eyes, sir.'
"And did you get rid Of him?
81 did, sir.''
HE asked if I was in?'
"He did, sir.''
"And what did you say to him %
"I gave him an evasive answer"
can evasive answer, Patrick"
"Yis, yer reverence.
"He axed was ye in, and I tould him
was his grandmother monkey!'
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1859-03-05

To BoYs.-Boys read this little ex-
tract from the We'll Spring. It will
do you good even if YOU are not one o.
that class Of boys Of which he speaks.
Read it, for it is full Of truth, and its
recollection may restrain you from even
the appearance Of the first step to i'm
pudence: "You can scarcely give a
bov worse name than to say that he
is i'll bred, saucy and inpudent.--
Everybody avoids such boys as much
as possible. Sensible people are an
noyed by his impertinence, and give
him a wide berth they regard him
very much as they do a musketo-a
pert and i'll hammered intruder, whose
littleness alone saves him from the
doom his attack deserves. Some boys
have their manners SO plainly marked
upon their faces that you can see them.
The bold stare, the impudent lee, a2r2d,
the brazen air Of assurance, tell their
character very plainly before they have
opened their mouths. If full bloomed
impudence i. so unloyely flower, it is
certainly worth your while to avoid
with care whatever would tend to It's
growth. The habit, ike others, is
formed slowly and by degrees. It
usually commences with rudenesa and
incivility toward parents, or by contra
dieting them OF answering back when
rebuked for fault. He soon grows
disrespectful towards his teacher, and
finally comes to treat his elders gener-
orally as though they were no. older,
wiser or better than himself. You see,
therefore the Importance Of nipping
this fault in the bud. The rule of good
manners may be thus stated. To your
elders and superiors be respectful. To
your equals be civil. To all be cour-
teous."' %
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1859-03-05
Re eG-e~

~ During the summer q party
made sea excursion, and finding the
day delightful, cool and pleasant, one
of the ladies remarked to the captain
that, while the weather continued SO
hot, she would like 10 be captain her
self very well. He replied in a most
gentlemanly manner, that he would not
object to becoming the captains mate.
The young lady took him at his word
and has since accepted the post
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1859-03-05

SUCH A FooL.-We were once lis
tening to an eloquent divine, who, in
the course Of his sermon, was compar-
ing the state Of the unconverted sinner
to that Of man in q boat away from
land with only one oar. He was sud-
denly brought up with a severe round
by an old sailor, who jumped up and
asked: "Cou-dn't the Id fool
scull?"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1859-03-05

How TO GO TO BED.-Dr. Hall in
structs his "subject" to undress in q
warm room, heat his feat thoroughly.
draw on his stockings, rush into q colo
room, pop into bed with his stockings
on, cover up his head and ears, and re,
main covered uutil he begins to get
warm, then poke his nose from the Gov
erlid and pull off his stockings! Beard,
of the Nashua Telegraph thinks this is
about the ostcowardly way ofgoing to
bed, that he ever ''heard tell Of"
Our auvice-don't hang around the
fire, unbuttoning and unlocking, and
unlacing, but go to your cold room,
with your clothes all on, "all standing''
as the sailors say--if there is a pane Or
two of glass broken out so much the
better-go to work with moderate haste
-disrobe yourselfto the "buf'' stock
ings and alI-putting every garment
Just where you can lay your hand on il
in the dark-draw On your night shirt
-(of course we are not addressing the
ladies upon this very delicate matter,
but our advice is just as good for them
as for anybody)-pop into bed-straight-
en- right down-draw the clothes up
round your neck, but don't cover up
your precious nose-and if you don't
sleep warmer and
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1859-03-05

sg Some Of our neighbors are SO
afraid Of breaking the Sabbath that
they do not work for three days previ-
Gus nor for three DAYS after
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1859-03-05

EI An eccentric English divine
was call upon to perform the funeral
service Of a dead debtor. After the
ceremony was performed, and the body
was on its way to the church-yard, the
sheriff made descent on the corpse and
attached it for debt, as by the then law
of England he had the power to do
''Move on - said the priest. "Stop -
shouted the sheriff. "Move on'' ex-
claimed the priest again. 'EThis body
is NINE ~ said the sheriff. ''This body
is Gods p roared the priest. 'In the
kings name I command you to lower
the coffin ?" exclaimed the sheriff.
"Bury the man - shouted the infuriat-
ed priest, sand if the sheriff says three
words take him too !-I've read the
funeral service, and somebody shall be
buried"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1859-03-05

a MODEST WITNEss.-We find in a
Pennsylvania paper a fancy report of
Grim. con. case, in which one jerry
Slate, a rough countryman, was the
principle witness. We give the nub of
it, as it contains great moral lesson.
The parties to the dialogue are the
counsel for plaintiff and Jerry. "Spon-
dulix'' is Jerry's phrase for money; re-
ferring in this instance to a couple of
" saw-horses," that is ten dollar bills
"And do you know the reason Cap
tain Bumper gave Mrs. Nicely these
two saw-horses as you call them?" II
don't, sir; I hearn him say that them
spondulix would buy a silk frock ike
Mrs. Wetherell's, and she said yes, it
would; but I amt a goin to swear to
anything more'n this.'' "Did Mrs.
Nicely's dress appear much disorder
ed?''
u guess not. II aoas ID bodily
tore, [ recollect. Mebby you mean
that?" II do, and am much obliged
to you for your straightforward testi-
mony. How did you como to see the
parties in the grove?" "Well, I was
there myself a-laying off under an old
tree, and I seed Mrs. Nicely a kissing
old Captain Bumper, and If gou aeaat
to hear onythiag farther, just te<a'aa
them aCi372z72e71 out of court, that's all"
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1859-11-19
NO. 275.
MISCELLANEOUS READING.

THE STRANGER ON THE SILL.
Between broad fields Of wheat and corn
l. the lovely home where | was born;
The peach tree leaned against the wall,
And the woodbine nanders over all;
There is the shaded door way still,
But strangers foot has crossed the sill.
There is the barn and a. of yore
can smell the hay from the open door,
Aud see the busy swallows throng,
And hear the peawee's mournful song;
But the stranger comes-oh! painful proot,
H,s shearcs are piled TO the heated roof
There is the orchard-,he very trees
Where my childhood knew long hours Of ease.
And watched the shadowy moments run
Till my lite imbibed more shade than sun;
The swing from the bnugh still sweeps the air,
But the strangers children are swinging there.
There bubbles the shady spring below,
With the burush brook where the hazels grow,
Twas there found the cslamus root,
And watched the minnoHs poise and shoot,
And heard the robin lave his wing;
But the strangers bucket is at the spring.
Oh! you who daily cross the SILL
Step lightly tor | love it still,
And when YOU crowd the old barn caves,
Then think what countless harvest shcaves
Have passed within that scented door,
To gladden. eyes that are more.
Deal kindly with those orchard trees;
And when your children crowd your knees,
Their sweetest fruit they shall impsrt,
As il old memories stirred their heart;
To youthful sport still leave the swing,
And in sweet reverence hold the spring
The barn. the trees. the brook the birds,
The meadows with their lowing herds,
The woodbina on the cottage wall
Ny heart still fingers with them all,
Ye strangers on my native sill
Step lightly for love it still Bali. american.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1859-11-19
DRY GOODS, &c.
NOTICE! NOTICE.! NOTICE..

OPENING OF real PARTISAN GOODS
nN NEXT MONDAY, OCTOBER 3rd, | viii
" open large stock of FRENCH GOODS, oi
nv own importation, all Of which we're carefully
selected BY myself whilst in Paris, last month.
am confident that now oiier the greatest variety,
and the handsomcst goods, al the lowest prices
ever exhibited for sale IN Washington city.
therefore earnestly invite the Ladies OF Washing
ton and Vicinity. 10 give early call, and con
vince them selves OF the truthtuluess Of what
assert
The attention Of the Ladies Is respectfully di-
rected to the following most beautiful Goods:
Empress Eugene Head dresses
Flower Head dresses
Maria Stuart Head-dresses
White Marabout and told iead-dresses
Queen Victoria Hair nets
Chenille and Gold do
Black Plumes. ornamented with Gold. for the
Hair
Steel Buckles and handsome Hair Ornaments
the latest styles worn III Paris
All kinds Of Real Laces, made to my order
such as
Valenricnnc. Chantilly, and Guipure
Chantilly Wells and Collars
Pointe Lace sets aud Collars
Maltese do do
linnitun do do
Swiss. Jaconet, and Cambria Embroideries
made 10 my order
The latest Parisian styles of Trimmings, such n
LrOtchet FIinges, trOtchct Buttons
Passcmenterie. Ffilc Faconne
Efile Plessc Nctour Faconne
Guipure ct Boutons pompadour ct Pisse
A magnificent assortment of Flowers, far richer
than ever before sold in Washington.
Marabout and Ostrich Feathers
Coo de Plunes, bought expressly for tho pur-
nose OF trim ing the Sombreros Marion, the
latest style of Hats worn by Ill fashionable
Ladies Of Paris and England
choice assortment Vf Bonnet and Trimming z
Ribbons
Bertha Capes a In Marie Antoinet:e
Polerine Louavc
Velvet Ribbons in black and high coors
WIDE Black Velvet for Cloaks, best quality
Black and CUlorcd Eonue; EelyctS
Ealour Imperial
Bonnet silks, in all co!ors
Parisian Eonnet,, really beautiful
Purisian kuches f"r ROnncts
A spi.udi stock of Cloth and Velvet Cloaks
A great variety Of Chdren's Bournous, Pale
tots, and Ragams, both plain and rmbroi-
dered
All Of The above articles. and great many 9th
crs not enumerated, were purchased AT the opening
of the present Partisan season, and are conSe'
uurrfly a wln. season III advance "t the styles
usually found here. a. the goods imported to this
country are generally ordered hc preceding March
mud hence. Are necessarily of The previous Fall,
Pari,ian STYLES. Hence. 70 avoid the annoyance
ot being alwJy. behind the fashions, Will" making
visit To Europe Stopped few weeks in Paris.
ani bought hc above goods in person, from hrst
hands / hope the kind patronage OF the Ladies'
vii enable me to make yearly trip Paris, with
the sole object Of keeping pace with tue Parl'iaa
fashions. and to have all new styles Of goods here
al the same time they appear upon tho fari-
shelves.
Particular attention given to orders
CIo.L. and Bonnefs ,nads 10 order in latest
styles.
\. B.-La,lies wishing any choice articles from
Paris. may Obtain them by leaving their Orders
with me. VI. WlLLiAN.%2 - Market space.
WaShin stun. oct -c"2wSe"Gw
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1859-11-19
& ALEXANDRIA RAILROAD.
&W w GO:

CHANGE OF HoURS-WINTER SCHEDULE.
ON AND AFTER THE 24rH DAY OF OCTO-
~ BER. the Trains this Road, with their
Omnibuses, will connect with the Trains on the
Orange road, except the first, which arrives at 5
A. NJ, and the Washington Branch Of the Balti-
more Road, except the Train departing at 6.2o
4. NJ.
Passengers will leave Alexandria for Washing
ton, in the Cars every day, a the following hours
$50, 5, a:lo, 1910. ll:l0, and l2:lO, A. NJ, and
2:le, 3:l0, 4:l0, $40, and 6:lO, 7. NJ
Passengers from Washington 10 Alexandria, will
take the OmnbuSeS al the Office Of the Company,
as follows "a, 74J, Q, 10, II, and II, A. NJ, and
2, 3, 4, 5, and &, z. NJ.
On Sundays leave Alexandria ats:lO. 1910, and
llI0, A. NJ, and 2.lu, $40, 4:lO. and a:lu, /. VI.
Leave Washington at 8, 10, and ii, A. M., and
2, ), 4, and, 7. NJ.
Fare between Orange and Baltimore Depot.....3c.
St. Asaph street Depot to Baltimore pepot....2sc'
. +" Washington 0ffce....2Oc.
Long Bridge Depot. l5c.
1eis- The 6:3O A. NJ. Train is the only s"Tt con-
nection with the 7:4j train from Washington
Gsf~ Light articles or bundles will he forwarded
between Alexandria and Washington from the
Office of either place. Heavy freishts will be
transported over the road il delivered At the Depot
in Alexandria, ar ut Long Bridge Station.
2l-tf +. :. BOYNT0N. Clerk.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1859-11-19
PROCLAMATION

NIAi0R'S OFFICE, November l6 ls59.-In
vi compliance with the request OF many Of the
business men and others, OF our community, |,
William d. Massey, Mayor Of the city Of Alexan-
dria, do hereby request that the 2ith Instant, be
observed as u DAY or THASKsGIyISG to Almighty
God. for his many blessings To US rs n communi
~; that all place. OF busines be closed. and the
Rev. clergy have Divine service in their various
houses OF worship, ut some suitable hour during
the day. VIM. ID. MASSEY, Mayor.
Luz