Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1859-12-17
VARlE TIE s.

VARIETIES.
The "Upper-ten "-or.-Brignoli.
"Box and Cocks. "a chicken coop.
A thorn in the bush is worth two in the
hand
Caws and Enfect.-Crows and scare
crows.
A Book for the Million.-Astor's bank
book.
New Name for Parisians.-Gal!ic- Cock
neys.
Pickpocks.'s Motte.-When found take
q mole Of
"The wife's Secret" Her opinion Of
her husband.
The Greatest Virtue in Sea Captain.
-Wreck-less- ness.
Corporation No,ice.-You are getting z
too fat old fellow?
How to become Great Broksr.--Break
a Little every three months.
Judge Daniel. of the United States Su-
preme Court, is seriously i'll.
Canard.-The report that Mr.. George
Law has purchased Harpers Ferry.
II has been a.certained, tha, the man
who held on to the last was . shoemaker.
Latest News.--Spain has declared her
readiness to supply Morocco with any
quantity Of leather.
A young lady in Boston tainted, lately,
on entering room where y table was
standing with drGwers.
A New Jo.-Jo. Cose defines tactturn
people as people who know how to keep
their thoughts where the flies can. get
At them"
The American Ambassador in his Chi
nese box Solus II % to Pekiu to see
the Chinese the Chinese come to peek in
to see me-
"High .Lowe-Game'-Mr Lowe, on
being asked by a co1ntrvman what he
was getting up hi. AERIAL ship for, replied
"Only for a Flyer!'
An editor down sas. apologies for
days delay in the issne Of his paper. on
the ground that he had an extra male
to attend to during the week.
A man who won. take paper, because
he can borrow one, has invented ma
chine with which he can cook his dinner
by the smoke of his neighbor's chimney.
A down east editor says he has seen the
cnntrivance our lawyers use when hey
warn up with the subject" He saws it
vas glass concern aud holds about a
pint.
A teacher of vocal music asked an old
lady if her grandson had an ear for music
"Ws'al.' said the old woman, Il really
don, know won't YOU jus, take the can,
die aud see y
Small Families" Malthus" writes us,
in vres, concern Of mind. to know what is
meant by the sign which h- sees in various
part. Of the city: Families supplied by
the quart
Presidential Specula.:on.--As there is
little prospec. of el.ct,ng . President who
has Any idea how to write. il is to bs hoped,
u, least, that We shall elect one who can
make his mark
Upon matters which are affected by feel
ing. and. senti nent the Judgment Of 'wo-
man surpasses tha, Of man her more
sensitive nature carries her to heights
which his coarser nature cannot reach.
An Irishman meeting = countryman in
quired his name. Walsh said the
ges,leman. walsh" responded Paddy,
are you from Dublin? know two ould
maids there Of that name; was either Of
them your nother?
"Yon're spelling yourself and you know
il aud why will you drink so p
Drink, all great mon drink Ion see
I'm building up myself . character for a
great man, aud im pudding for the touu.
dation."
Barber, to fop in ths chair-"All right,
sir y "All hight, what do you mean? 2
You're finished sir" FINISHED, am |,
do you call that finished? don, you see,
you miserable niger, that you hav'nt
brushed my eye brows!'
my gracious said Ike. "if some fairy
would give me a pair Of wings, wouldn't
60 rcund among the planets though. Id
go to ilars. aud Venus, and Jupiter
"And Satan interrupted Mrs. Parting
ton, "and am afraid you will 60 there
without wings
GEan,rr SalrH.--The physician having
the care Of Gersitt Smith has given his
family the encouragement to feel that the
afflicted gentleman will be entirely restored
to mental health. II is also his opinion
,ha, Mr.. Smiths bodily health will be re
established. So pros,rated was he when
he arrived at Utica, that it was the opin-
ion Of his physicians that he would no.
have survived iorty.eighs hours longer, had
he remained at bis home