Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1859-04-08
FACT, FUN, AND FANCY.

Eg- Beauty eventually deserts its pos
SCISSOR, but virtue aud talent accompany
him even to the grave.
re" Old mems lives are heightened
shadows their evening sun falls coldly
on the earth, but the shadows all point
to the morning.
Is- The minister who thinks his sala-
ry is large enough, is engaged upon the
second volume Of The Vanity Of Rich
as"
Eg- 4 country editor says there is
much Joy in getting married and that
married life is generally jury.
G4g' The man who does not believe
that be could edit newspaper better
than any body else, has settled in Indiana,
and is going into the babyjamper bust
ness
Rt,- Tom, didn't you sign the
pledge ?" asked friend who was taking
a smash at the Corporars Yes said
Tom, "but you know all signs fail in
dry time"
Esg' To. cure a pain in the breast,
procure well-madc calico or delaine
dress with an equally veil constructed
woman inside of it and press closely to
the part affected Said to be kill-or-
cure receipt.
ED' Never seek to be entrusted with
your friends secrets, for, no'mattcr how
faithful you may keep it, You will be
liable in thousand contingencies to the
suspicion of having betrayed it,.
Gg- A gentleman asked negro if he
would not have pinch of snuff No, 4"
replied the darkey, respectfully, "me
tank you-Pomp's nose not hungry"
Gzs- A Yankee captain was caught in
the jaws of a whale, but was finally res
oued, badly wounded On being asked
what he thought while in that situation,
he replied: Il thought he would make
about forty barrels"
E:5- An exchange speaks of chap
with feet so large that when it rains, oil
when he wants to get into the shade, ht
lies down on his back and holds up one
foot. 1t fully answers the purpose of an
umbrella.
Eg- They have an Irish child at Gin
cinnat, seventeen months old, who never
cries or talks, but whistles instead He
doesn't whistle tunes, of course, but his
whistle is as clear as an adults A young
locomotive, probably.
Es2' If you cannot avoid quarrel
with BLACKBOARD, let your lawyer man
age it rather than yourself. No man
sweeps his chimney, but employs chin
ney sweep, who has no objection to dir
ty work, because il is his trade.
Gg' If you marry" said Roman
consul to his son, " let it be woman
who has judgment aud industry enough
70 get a meal of yictuals; taste enough
70 dress neatly; pride enough to WASH
before breakfast, and sense enough to
hold her tongue"
B4s- The best capital for young man
to begin life with is a capital young wife
Exchange.
That's fact We know of some young
men who commenced business that way,
and doubled their capital the first year
E-s- DR. Francis says il young people
would avoid palpitation Of the heart,
they must give up hugging and kissing.
Exchange.
If that's the only way to avoid it, We,
for one, say let 'er palpitate.
Ey- A Frenchman hearing some Of
his English friends speak of pressing
their guests 70 remain longer, consulted
his dictionary, and found the word press
meant tc@queoae Alta party soon after
wards, he asked young lady to sing for
him. She declined Permit me, -
said he, my dear Miss, to squeeze you
for Won leetle song"
ES- The editor Of the Louisville
Presbyterian Herald, in replying to {
subscriber who inquiries how he SHOULD
bANNNhN NNAhE AAt'h tlhAi NdllAnE " kNl
his daughters on Sunday says:
"Call your daughters in and max
them recite the Catechism, and politel
invite their visitors TO come in aud SCI
how well they can do it, In month
you will not be any longer annoyed i
that way
Rs- The other day we saw some Il
borers trying to deeipher notice hoado
public sale" The notice, althoug
written tolerably plain, could not be d
oiphered by the Emerlanders, and The
requested US to read it for them, whiol
of course, we did. At the conclusiC
one of them turned to his comrades an
remarked, in a very impressive ton
"well, be japers, III niyer buy Of a ma
who's so nagardly that he won't get b
advertisements printed /; he's chated Ii
printer, and he'll chate mo They a