The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1859-09-14
How to Catch q Lunatic

superintendent of lunatc asylum---in
what town it does not matter-the loca.
tion don't effect the narration in the least.
AS in all insane asylums, scme of our
patients were docile and tractable, and
had the freedom OF the high walled gar
den, while others being violent and dan
gerous in their madness were confined to
their rooms
Sometimes one of these last named gen
telmen would get loose, fact which he
unusually announced by breaking things
generally-upon which announcement the
doctor would repair to the spot at which
he was "elevating the Ancient Henry"
and advancing upon him with a steadfast
gaze, would fascinate him as black snake
does cat bird, and march him off TO his
room instanter. The Doctors eye was
never known to fail, and he impaired such
a portion of his literally charming quail
ties to my fellow assistant and myself that
we were able to master any ordinary
maniac, although the Doctor himself had
to attend to the : tough customers
We had one lunatic by the name of
Smith with large feet, as tall as Tom Hyer
and as strong as an ostrich, besides being
possessed of as strong digestive powers as
that interesting bird, for he once got loose
and swallowed so many cents that he rat
tied when be walked yet he showed no in.
furious effect from the meal.
He had broken out Of his room two or
three times, but had always gone back
very docilely when any of us made our APP
pearance.
The asylum had saloon in the centre
with door at each end and one of these
doors requiring fixing once upon time,
carpenter was engaged upon it, when in
trundled Mr.. Smith, and possessed him
self Of long, sharp chisel When the
carpenter looked around. the mailman gave
a grin and poke of the chisel at him
whereupon the terrified man of chips
scuttled out and locked the door--then,
While the enemy was bantering away at
it, he rushed around and locked the door
at the other end
Having thus Gagged the ostrich, he gave
the alarm l supposing it was an ordina-
ry case which 1 could easily control, un-
locked the door and entered boldly. where
upon he made rush for me and I incon-
tinently bolted.
The Doctor was sent for. He came and
after accommodating through the key.ho.e
and ascertaining the enemy was at the
other end of the room and saw at once
that his eye would fail him in this emer-
gency.
Here was apparently dilemma. Here
was certainly problem. Given crazy
Individual. strong as a bull, perfectly un-
controllable, and armed with weapon.
Required. How to catch him.
To capture him by force was difficult
and dangerous undertaking and to starve
him out would be tedious affair.
But the doctor did not hesitate q mo-
ment.
l caught the idea. rushed down and
brought back quart syringe filled with
hartshorn-diluted- | didn't want to
kill the man.
Then the Doctor, Jones and myself for
med an army Of invasion. We threw
open the door and entered in the following
battle array.
l, being the shortest of the three,
marched FIRST holding chair in front of
me BY the back, so that the legs might
keep of a rush if our pop guns flashed in
the pan. Then came Jones, with the
syringe resting on my shoulder like piece
of flying artillery.
Finally, in the rear in the safest place
like all great generals, came DR.. b.
The lunatic sat at the other end of the
hall on the chair cycling US keenly and
savagely. Slowly, very slowly, we ad-
vanced towards him. 1t seemed to me
that We were several miles apart from
the length of time it took to approach him,
The nearer we got the more wicked that
chisel looked, and the handle seemed TO
increase until it was as long as broom
stick. When we got within few feet ,oi
him he jumped up and sprang towards mt.
Fire." cried the General from the
rear and whiz spatter splash went the
quart Of hartshorn right into his counte-
nance-down he went like log-it
would have knocked down a battalion ;
and while he was catching breath We
caught him.
| There ia a man i'm Exatar ,vbosa ,,,o,,,