The weekly Portage sentinel. [volume] (Ravenna, Ohio) 1854-1861, 1859-03-31
Shadows, then Sunshine

"Work, work, work ~ Repeated the
word TO myself with bitterness, as leaned
out from the window to catch the sweet
breezes Of the morning as they swept up
from the green meadow lands, cool and de-
licious. Lines of misty, golden light were
slanting down from the hiII.tops, making
amber paths across the green, dewy fields,
end amber ladders from one tree, top to an
other, through all the wide expanse of woods
that my eye could reach. Under the win.
dow, roses and lilacs bossomed-the roses
tossing their red and white, and the liacs
their cloudy purple clusters, backward,
meeting as if to exchange kisses, and min.
gle in one sweet breath their united fra
grunce.
But what were the sunlight, the trees, the
dewy fields and flowers to me! might not
go out freely among them my feet could
not press the green grass OF the fields
might not wander where the breezes sang
anthems through the trees my hands might
not pluck the simplest flower which bent
forward to meet their weary oulstretch!ng.
must work, for labor i" as The only gift ,yr
tnej whether | made 1t Il pie sure or uurs.
it was the only ALTERNATIVES And so with
tears in my eyes, which the sunlight mock.
ingly bridged across with golden bars, seat
ed myself to my daily task. There was
great we'll of bitterness within my heart
which with the most rigorous will, / could
hardly keep from overfowing-a passionate
upheaving OF my deep, womonIy nature,
which in vain tried to press backward into
the quiet channel it had always KNOWN
In vain, for it surged up TO catch the light
and the shadows, which, even in my bitter
est moments, slut my heart against 1t
was strange time to me can you cumpre-
hehd, it reader 2 A time when | tenied,
everything for fear that was the sweet foun
da'ion of hope.
"Work, work. work ~ said again press.
ing my fingers close to my eyes, and letting
fall the rment on which had been sewing.
81 wish | might die, die |" Ny tears fell
thick and fast. | wished might weep nv
life away.
"NeIIy- Nelly, deati you will weep cd
long that there will be no rajnbow alter the
shower instead OF the rainbow, there will
be dull heavy gravenese upon everything.
Look up, have something to say 10 you."
/ 10 I
cosnzed presence neer me, soul that
mine ie"prd up in great waves OF joy to
meet. WORDS were not wanted to assure
Inc Of The pfesehte of Charles Howard. In
u moment the smiles gathered upon nv
lace, and involuntsriIy unclasped my hands
from my eyes to meet the steady, penetrating
gc2c OF the man loved,
"Now, NV, ely, We nave the rain.
bow = he snd, dtawing chair, and seating
hnseli close ey my side, and at the same
Tune tossing carelessIy the light, sry robe
which was maki"g. upon the table. "Tell
lne what troubles you"
For some reason the bitterness within me
flowed up to my lips when opened them to
speak.
III am weeping for joy,' said, turning
my head away from him. SIS it to be won
dercd at 7"
"Not if your heart in its outstretching can
divine the future," was the answer.
"Are you a prophet" said I, "that you
speak with such authority o.
III judge your future by my own heart,
Nelly" said he. II will not believe that it
tells me wrongly"
| reached out tny hand for my work, with.
out replying, as he said this. detefminu.
ton rose within me not to listen idly, like q
pleased child, to his words, even though they
sent the warm blood dashiDg over my face.
and quckened to wildness the pulsation o
my heart. was poor, dependent sewing
girl, and Charles Howard was tich, proud
and of high family. What Knew Of the
world, all the education could lay claim
to. had been gathered piece meal and yet
was not ignorant. He was an elegant, pol.
ished man, at ease in any station--a man
who had seen the world without entering
into it's busy, bustling ranks, and from seeing
had turned away, weary and discontented.
,, From the moment I saw him, when he
came to spend the summer with the proud
LaDgdons, with whom was living, I knew
him wholly and we'll, as if for years l had
been permitted to read his heart as freely af
written scroll. People said he was to be
the betrothed husband of his naughty cousin
Letita Langdon, and judging by what I saw
daily, had no right to dispute it. Indeed
I thought it very probable and with me
there was ever this sweet assurance-1 coult
understand him, appreciate him, as she coult
, not could bring by my words smile to hi
4 lip that she might try in vain to summon
there. He might give her the husks Of hi
, soul, the outward make. believe devotion, bu
= could see into his inner life, and knew tina
not for moment was her proud, arrogan
. face daguerreotyped there. He was by hel
side in all the glitter and show of fashion
able society, but he came to me :or stmpa
thy when he was weary and disheartened
- when the ewes of the world wers turned fo