, 1859-03-04
Yaris.ty..

being thought coward.
We Ike those best for whom we have
done most; not those who have done most
Tor qa.sI1n noH
A Coon HuMoRED REBuKE-A certain
good naiured Old farmer preserved bis con
stand GOD qAtate, LET what would turn op.
One day ahlle the black tongue prevailed,
be vas told that one Of Bis red oxen was
dead. II tAOA8A ~ gltA
rs he?" said the old man, well, he was
always a breechy old cuss. Take of his
hide and take il down to Fleteher's; it will
bring fhe rnshp ~ rFr
In shhodr Of tuo the man came back
with tho aeWs that line back and bis
mate were both dead.
"Are they p said the old man, well,
took them from B 10 save bad
debt never expected to get. II is lucky
that it aint the brindles. Take the hides
down to Fletcher's; they will be as good
as cash.
In about an hour the man came back TO
inform him that the nigh brindle was dead
eIs hein said the old man, well, be was
veryaOld OK Take of his hide and take
it down TO Fletcher's; it is worth more
than either Of the others.p l.fg
Hereupon his wife, taking upon herself
the Office Of Eliphaz, reprimanded her hus
baud severely, and asked him il be was
aware that his loss was q Judgment from
Heaven for bis wickedness. ...
'Is iti" said the old man; "well, il they
take judgment in cattle, It is the easiest
way I can pay them.'
A LIVE YAxKEE anoxe THE JrvENLEs.-
A few days ago, teacher Of one Of the
public schools Ia The town Of Essex, Mass,
while impartihg moral and religious instruc-
tons, as is her custom at the opening Of
the school in the morning, asked why we
ought 10 love God. Whereupon q very
bright little urchin Of Eve years Of age very
promptly answered, Because he gives US
our parents to take care Of US, aud gives
US our clothes, and learns US hOlO 10 make
@0Hy@
10 one Of our city schools, not long ago,
a member Of the committee asked the mem.
bers Of class which was under examina-
tion, "What is the cause Of the saltness Of
the ocean n Some one little girl raised |
her bead, flushed with the discovery which
had flashed upon her mind. You may
telI,D said the Committeeman. "Salt 6sh,
sir, said the pupil.
Nor PUsHINo HM.-Some time ago, on |
the Sabbath, we wended our way to one Of
our churches, and instead Of sermon heard
an address upon some missionary or other
benevolent subject. After the address was
concluded, two brethren were sent round |
with basket for contributions Parson
L. was one Of the basket bearers taking
the side upon which we sat. Immediately
in our front and upon the next seat, negi-
gently reelined our friend Bill H., q
gentleman Of infinite humor and full Of dry
jokes Parson L.. extended the basket
aud Bin slowly shook his head.
Come. William give US something"
said the Parson.
Cant DO ~ replied Bill.
Why notf Is not tho cause q good
onel'
"Yss; buiI am not able to give any
think"
"POhl Pohl know better, you must
give better reason than that. 4
"Well. owe too much money! mnst
be just before am generous, you know"
But, William, you owe God larger
debt than you owe any one else"
That's true, parson, but then ks aiR't a
pushing me like fhe balance Of my creditors"
The parsons face got into rather Gu
rious condition and hc passed on.
Major Brown, some years ago occupied
ssat 10 the Legislature Of our Western L
states The subject Of general improve
ments was being discussed, and among the
rest a1Illfof Improving roads was before
the House. Tbe Major "spreadD himself
hugely in favor Of the bill. Pointing out
the beauties and benefits Of roads, "Why.
gentlemen" said he, look at the Mich.
gan, road sr-slraight as beo line, Sir;
and, gentlemen, 50 straight that you can
see a red dog mile long, Sirl"
NoyEL INVESTMENTS FOR CHURcH.-In
volume Just published entitled " Lost
Chapters Recovered from the early History
Of American Methodism,p y it is stated that
the records Of one Of the earliest Methodist
churches in New York, reveal that the
Trustees in the last century, invested two
pounds in a lottery ticket and forty pounds
10 negro named Peter The last invest
ment was the most satisfactory, as the man
oficiaied as sexton to the church, and soon
repaid his cost out Of his earnings, and was
emaneipated. He did not get his free pa
pers however till more than ten years after
he had paid for bimsel[. These transac-
tons took place IN those good old times"
in praise Of which We hear SO much said in
: many quarters.
@Iam astonished at your honor's decis-
ion!" said a young lawyer to Judge who
had decreed against him This remark
cannot be permitted, said the Judge, "and
an apology will be necessary on your part"
Permit me y said the senior counsel. "to I