Worcester daily spy. [volume] (Worcester [Mass.]) 1850-1888, 1859-04-13
0QOrtester Daily Spp.
HOW zEKE BENTON GOT A WIFE.

Ezekiel Benton, Esq, in letter published in
the Home journal, sets forth his personal expe-
rlence IN some delicate matters. He first tells
now bashtul he is by nature, and how his bash
fulness led to his falling down the gallery stairs
at choir meeting, to his infinite modification.
the soiling of his pantaloons, and the ruin of his
coat On another occasion, at the same place,
TINS besettlng fault of over-modesty luckily
produced another accident, which made his
matrimonial fortune, as Zel1e thus relates:
One Sunday evening l had taken my place
at the end OF the seat towards the gals and
just across the little aisle at the end of the
gals seat towards us, sat Hetty Burroughs
NOW, you recollect Hetty-you know you can't
skeer up many prettier faces than she's got.
any way Well, that day her ribbon fixins set
her on stonishin We were short of music
DOCKS, and so, when we was standin' up to sing
the lust hymn, Hetty seq to me, SEE she, Mister
Benton, will you look over NEE | kinder
started, but TUX hold Well when begun to
sing, found my voice was little fiusticated
ana that made Hetty look straight at me, and
then was fiusticated wus, and then l loo ed
at her, and then she got to shakin', and down
went the book clean over the front 'Ker
chunk 1t went, and made everybody lump.
When Hetty saw the book fall, She come
nigh taintlng, and grabbed my arm-not a pur-
pose, you know, but kinder accidental Well.
Abe, 1t was that what did it. For you see,
when meetln was over, Hetty seq to me, as
we was going out SEE She Mr.. Benton, was
SO contus'd, | didn't know what | was abont.
beg your pardon for taking hold of your
arm Ior, maam,' SEE /, why, [ liked it,
And then Hetty blushed, and didn't say nuth-
IN. And then SEE |, L only ish you'd iuss
take mold OF my arm again, and let me see you
home Well, do you believe it, there was
hetty and me a-walking home that evening,
arm In arm. When | left her, and got to our
house, sat down, and it was, for all the world,
ike dream. set up all night rubbing my
eyes, and thinking, and then I'd guess it
WASH me, but some other teller. Well, the
folks III the house didn't know what to make of
me tor went on mighty curious, and not as |
used to.
was considerable 'stracted and couldn't
eat nuthln, and | broke tumbler, a meat
dish, and two cups, all in one day. AS this
was beng rather 'spensive, the folks couldn't
stahd IL any better nor me. Next day after
our walk home went to see Hetty thinkin'
L q nave glorious time; but when | got to
the mouse set like a mummy, and couldn't
get up steam to say nothin' nice You see
there was nothin' there like the music book to
start us Well, see Hetty off and on for a
fortnight longer, and all the town got talkin
how was sparkin' Hetty Burroughs, and then
l made up my mind that what was to be was
to be, and so calculated on maxim the thing
sartin as soon as possible. seed that Hetty
wasn't vexed at my stoppin' in so often and
when girl amt vexed at you in SIGH circum-
stances, you may be sure she's rather takin'
with you. That's my fosophy-you may
want to use it sometimes, Abe.
So one evenin', as | was sittin' by Hetty,
and had worked myself up to the stic1in' pint,
! fn f,,l1 ,ol,.a, l..
ry him, what wud you say g Then she
laughed, and SEE she, That would depend on
who asked me- Then SEE /, suppose it was
Ned Willis SEE she, I'D tell Ned Wills, but
not you. That kinder staggered me- But
was too cute to lose the opportunity, and so
SEE agen, Suppose it was me /? And then
ouought to have seen her pout up her lip, and
SEE she, don't take no supposes' Well,
but touch the gun of. So bang if went Sez
l. Lor, Hetty, it's me- Won't YOU saw YES a
And then there was such a bulIaballoo in nv
head, don't know 'xactly what tuls Mace Init
l thought l herd yes whisperin' Somewhere
out of the skirmish.
ANYHOW, after that Hettv and mo was on
gagged, and six months after we was married
The day we was married we went off in the
afternoon cars for Boston. When we got TO
Brattleboro'. Hettv asked me to oct her n
glass of lemonade. Well, while | was in for
80 ~ nj, al a. siai 'eu '1e caIs anu wheh
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