St. Mary's beacon. [volume] (Leonard Town, Md.) 1845-1863, 1859-12-15
Divorces by Mistake.

One Wtnicr there came IL Trenton, New
Jersey, twr men Uamcd Smiti. and Jones,
who hal hpth "f them designs uII rne LegiS-
lhtnrc JOKES had bad wife and WIS in
love with pretty w"mLu--hc wished to be
divorced from his bad wife that lac might
IN Irry the pretty woman. who bv tie WAY.
Mas a widow, with black eyes. and such n
fTm Therefore Jones GAME to Trenton for
a divorce
Smith had go,d wife, as an angel, and
the mother ui ten children, au! Smith did not
want 10 I've divorced! bat wanted 10 get a
charter for tUrupikc pr plank ru, 10 extend
from Pigs Run to larralin Hollow.
Well, they. with these dGcreut crrands.
came 70 Trenton, and .lircss"d the assembled
"sd'm with the usual arguments. FIRST,
sUppers mainly Composed 1t ovs,crs with
rlcb back Sruuud OF v"tII>,,n: second, Iluurs
IN great plenty, from Jersey Iight"iu.' which
Is kInd Of luc mO:iv. at Iui speed. r.,luced
To liquor shape. To Newark champagne
/" speak IN paIu rrusr. the divorce man
gave champagne SUPPER. aud Smith the
turnpike man. f,llowed with chan pa:ue
breakfast, under the modifying influence ot
which the assembled wisdom passed b,th tie
divorce and turnpike bills. aud Jones and
Smiih-a copy nf each hllI in their nockrt-
went home rejoicing over many miles If sand.
aud though the triJui,tior Of many stage
coaches.
Smith arrived home in the evening. nad a,
he sat down in h:s parl"r his pretty vii. be-
SItc hiu-how pretty drl she look and & ve
"i her children "Verlcaring, the uth,r five
studying their LESSONS in the corner %! the
r,-"n. Smith was induced 10 cxiatate upon
the gODd Results a! lis mission To IGtutsu
directors and will be President II will set
nae ny, lrvc; we can scud our children t. the
boarding sch"''i, and live in style cut 0i the
toll. Here Is the cAar,ci honey
Let mc see it, sad the pretty little wife,
"ho Was "ne Of the incest e wives. with
pluHpnlss aud z ducs, dap .uc al rvcr her
Lace. Let inc ste it, is she !ancd ever MIR
SnitA's >ny'll,icr
But Al. at once Smiths visa:e grew long;
SErtl'> wiicS visa-e grew black Smith wa,
MT rra'anc. bu: lvw lie ripped out au awful
uath.
Blast us. wife, hose i,.i.rnal scnundrcls at
TrrLtDn have gone and ,:ivnrcc,i u>.'
!: Mas to" true. the parchment which he
Lcll wl- a bill oi ,,iyprcr. in w!.i.ii the name,
Of smith AID S'n'i's wife appeared Ia fright
fully lgrbe letters
Mr., Surt. wiped her eyes with tic corrc-
Il !r"r ap:":..
Here is = turnrikc' sal she sadly. and
with the whole Of cur children staring me in
the face au't your vir,, Here's a turnpike
'Rl'St the pike and the Legislature and
We'll the fact il that Smith reduced 10 siu-
lie Lcs>ciucsS. enacted into a Strluger 10 hi,
own wife. sw,re awf'ly. Alth"u-h .h"
night was dark. Iui mos, oF the dcuizcn. 81
Sn,Ih>t"wm hal gnuc t. bed, Smith lad III
late wife t. pat on her bonnet, aud arm in
arm 'lsey proceeded 10 tie Clergyman .: their
church.
Goodness bless me, exclaimed the sao,l
man a he saw tLem crt.r-Smth ln"kiac
Ike the last of June Shai, Smiths wife wfp-
InG her eyes with the c"rner 4 hcr aprou-
'G'"dncss bless rlc, what's the matter -
The matter i, | WAL; you 10 marty as
Nv" right III. replied Smith.
'Mtrry YOU CALCULATED the clergyman. with
expanded finger, ani awful cye>: are you
drunk. or what's III" matter with YOU?
However. lie fnsl" Iaarri-d them over
,trajshtway, aud would nut take fc: tie
tat j.. grave as he WAS, Ir Was diving to H.
al'ue tnat he might give vent To- ,uppr-s-
sod laugh. that was shaking hifn all over
ard Swth and Smirl's wife went iyful,y
nom" and ki->-i every ore ~ their children
=
ct aui m"ther hal ever been male stranger,
To each "thcr hy i"ci,a'iv" enactment
Meanwhile. and on the sarc ni.h'. Jone.
returned u his t.a'ive tnUn-Buriiu.tr
b-Ii"V"--and sought n: ouos ,h" fine bIarE;
eyes which lie hal n"prd u ca,i his own The
p-rtty widow sat on The sofa. a white hand
kcrchi"f tied carelc>sly around her whit,
thr'ar. her black hair lsiI IN silky save,
against ca-h rosy cheek
divorce : TIE word cried .TnnrN. p'ay fui
~ p,'r,ug her i"ubc chin, I'll" Tao, j.. Eliza
l'm rid # tia. cursed woman. aud vuu an
III be married tonight ] ku,w how 1,
manage tr'>e srouudrcls At Tr~u-un 4
chan Pa-n" suPprr-rT war It a breakfast
did tne business for thcm. Pat ou vnur bpu
net an: lei Is 60 10 the preachers at once
dearest
The widow, who was annu2 willows a
peaches among apples pu. OF Der boane,
and touk Jones arm, and