Delaware inquirer. (Wilmington, Del.) 1859-18??, 1859-07-09


choly condition-who is on the verge of re
lapsing into complete lunacyl The though
fills me with horror. l should be more ma
than himself, if such an idea could for an in
slant occur to me- remained mute and de
jected-nothing could have made me utter
word. do not know what instinct, that in
ward conviction, gave me sort of certainty
that should have run no risk in uniting my
self to him; that our lives would be peaceful
and happy that had something in M
which could sustain tranquility and reaso
/ in his poor mind that he was lost il this onl
chance of happiness was refused to him. Bu
: how could | say all this-against probability
7 against common sense, and all appearances
How could say it to my father, SO prudent
!; so wise, so kind and good to me He wa
, right, knew it. could not deny it; at tn
t bottom of my heart, voice told me the con
trary. | ought to have had the courage t
resist him. Now am full Of remorse for no
having entreated, implored my father; forn
having extracted consent, which could only
have endangered myself and did not ever
see that danger. He Wen
to see him, and tried to persuade him thai
other engagements had been contracted, that
his word had long been pledged to another
family. These precautions did not in the
least soften his refusal. The scene was VIC
lent my father confessed this to me, without
entering into particulars. He was very mise.
rable, very much absorbed by this fatality
in accordance with his character, he did not
speak of it to me. lived in constant wretch
edness. Soonafter, Tlearnedthat fresh attacks
of frenzy had occurred. asked my father
what he knew on the subject. 1T is too true,
he said and expected it. am so much
accustomed to this malady, that | had no
doubt it ould recur. ! cannot see him, my
presence would agitste him. Icannot, either
think of having him back among the other
patients; all that he would see would recall
impressions of which the effect would be in
furious. But inform myself most carefully
of his state. His attendants acquaint me
with everything. / prescribe what is to be
done and if his madness continues, as fear,
/ shall see to having him taken to an asylum,
fifty miles hence. | know the principal doc
tor there very we'll he will be well taken
care Of. This prudence Of my fathers,
was not harshness, this calm kindness, made
me feel timid and silent. | dared not give
way TO my feelings. What could | say
What could / ask 7 Calm reflection told me
that there was no disputing the will of Prov-
dence. Iprayed to Cod implored mira
Gle dreamt that il was granted, lowered
between resignation and hope-I agitated my
self painfully when gave myself up to my
own thought became calm, when sought
for comfort in prayer.
some day went out of doors, and walked
sadly away from the town, when suddenly
perceived our friend, who had been taken ont
for air, during an interval of calmness and
reason. His hair was long and in disorder
and his eyes were wide open and dull. His
mouth had an expression that would have
been convulsive, had it not betokened exhaus-
ton. He looked towards me. feeling of
shame became evident in his face. He was
humbled to appear thus before my eyes
however, he took courage and revived at the
sound of my voice. was much agitated
did not know what words to address to him.
was more afraid of wounding his feelings
than Of injuring him the idea of his madness
did not even occur to me. After some SEN
fences painfully uttered, he appeared to over
come the feeling of our mutual embarrassment
and constraint. Well he said, you con
demned me indeed, how could have such
hope-such presumption II is too true, |
could not have been cured when ! conceived
so strange probationary mailman = and
he began laughing in frightful manner. |
Have deserved that you should speak thus
to mel' l answered. Have you not seen |
my affection and regardn Yes, your kind
ness, yonr compassion, your charity-but af- |
fection-Ah there could be none for me.
am taken care of-the duties of humanity and
religion are fulfilled towards me---but this is |
all and even this wearies people, | have |
been driven away-banished YOU so good |
so pious, you have shut your doors on an un-
happy man; his misfortunes make him re-
voting to you. If have relapsed into this 4
dreadful state, who is the cause Of It'll Tell I
me- These words were too cutting; was
not mistress of my feelings | melted into
tears, and sobbed aloud. As for him, lie
seemed renovated; he raised his head-lis
eye sparkled. 4 am unjust and cruel, CON
tinued he. No, you have not refused me
no, you did not wish my death. 1t is not you
who have thrown me back into this horrible
state no, you could not have been so harsh.
had OWNED feelings in you, which assured
me that might seek my well-heing at your
hands. It is your father who kills me it is
he who is without compassion il is his cruel
prudence which has inflicted this blow. Mar
garet, implore You, tell me that you would
have consented say that the refusal did not
come from You. Give me this assurance it
is the only way to calm me. This thought
will appease my suferings, and sooth nv
mind il | can say, She loves me, it will b,
to render all my life calm and happy.
Say only the words, II trds my tltheri A
feeling of alarm tightens my heart when
think of the answer that | might have utter
ed. o my Godl it was thy goodness that
saved me from SO fearful remembrance
What danger | incurred How dreadful
might have become to myself | regained
my strength little. reproached him, but
with gentleness, for his ingratitude towards
my father. essayed to give him glimpse
Of hope for the future; endeavered to bring
him to himself His keepers entreated mo to
go they saw some violent crisis coming on.
Tie woman who accompanied me led me
hastily away. In effect he had fit of frenzy
more violent than ever. From this day lucid
intervals almost ceased. They told me that
he had neither reason nor consciousness.
How shall terminate my recital how an
proach the horrible catastrophe Ny father
continued his care of him; almost every day
ne went to his house, to inform himself of his
iymptoms, and give directions to his atteil-
iants but he took care never to be seen ly
him. Once, through the CRATE of his window.
ne perceived my father, who was come to paw
his usual visit They had forgotten to fasten
us door; he darted out exclaiming, 1T is he,
ny enemy, my murderer!I He leapt down
he staircase before any one had time to reach
nm. The unhappy man had seized knife
10 threw himself on my father and stretched =,
nm al ms ieet. My father
vas brought home bathed in blood the steel .
lad reached his heart. He had only few /.
moments to live he could hardly speak. !,
Ny beloved child my poor Margaretp he :
Uttered. And read in his eye that his last
hought was one of satisfaction-that he had :
lot exposed me to the blow, by which he had
'erished. There is no language for the grief ,
suffered it will end only with my existence. :
Iod willed 1t He sent me this trial; may ,
lie soon reunte me to my father BY repeat !
ng these words, by dwelling on this thought, =
y total self-denial, have been able to !