The weekly hawk-eye. [volume] (Burlington, Iowa) 1858-1860, 1859-06-07
"A Fourth 81 July Yarn.

/ Il was customary some years ago in many
Of the inlandfowns Of New England, to eel
citrate the Fourth d July ~ sham fight
\ intended to represent some Of the Revolution.
airy battles, and Of course vict0ries--one por.
| ton Of the towns people representing the Red
| Coats, and smother the Federal forces. Be
| low we give the rich end of an account
(which we find III an exchange, Of one 81
those celebrations. A little town had resolved
to perform the surrender Of CORVALLIS. =
Deacon Noses Jones, wealthy, proud farm
er, chosen to enact Washington, Squire BIZ
jer Wood, an aristocratic village lawyer, to
perform CORVALLIS but let the writer tell
his own story
The programme Of the days performance
was as follows
The two companies were to meet in front
of the tavern, on the common, exchange
shots, sklrmish little--in which Cornwall
lis was to be most essentially whipped, and
then ingloriously surrender
Ats o'clock the two companies marched
into the village and arrayed themselves into
fighting position; reminding the spectators Of
the time when
Brave Wolf drew up his men
In style most pretty,
On the plains of Abraham,
Before the city"
The two commanders were greatly excited,
and Washington, regret to say, was in any
thing but fit condition to act out the great
part he was to perform, He had been drink
ing freely all the morning, and now when
the interesting ceremony was about to COM
mence, was so tight, or rather 50 loose that
it was with difficulty he could set in his sad.
die. He however did no: know but what he
was allright, nor did his mem. CORVALLIS
was not intoxicated, but little agitated, or
rather eated.
Everything being ready, the companies
exchanged shots. Bang whang bang went
the guns, while the two commanders yelled
like stuck pigs.
That's it [hic, ] my brave boys give it
to them, the audacious red coats beloved
Washington.
"On Romans!" yelled the excited Corn
wallis, who had seen . theatrical exhibition
once, and who remembered the heroic appeal
OF the Thespian belligerents ..breathes
there man SO dead that won't fight like
thunder 2"
Go it Continentals Down with taxation
on tea, beloved Washington, in a very pa
trlotlc voice, and narrowly escaped cutting
his horses ear off with the flourish of his
sword. The fighting nov ceased, the com
panles were drawn up IN straight line, and
CORVALLIS dismounted and presented his
sword to Washington.
well, old boy said the immortal, as he
cufted his horses ears with his cooked hat,
"whatn thunder do you WANT"
Gen. George Washington T replied Corn
wallis, Il surrender up toyou myself, sword
ard men,"
"Yoa do, do yc,. sneeringly replied the
General.
Yes, General said Corvallis ''the Brit.
ish lion prostrates himself at the feet of the
American eagle"
Eagle EAGLEf' yelled the General, roll. |
ing Oft his horse and hitting the Brton a |
tremendous blow on the head with the fiat of |
his sword do you call me eagle 7 Take /
that and that and THAR yelled the in.
furlated Washington; 'prehaps you'll call I
me an eagle again, you mean sneakin' cussl''
CORVALLIS was do,cn, but only for mo-
ment, for he jumped mp and shook himself,
and then, with an entirely unlocked for recup. I
Grafton on the part Of follen foe, and in |
defiance OF history, he pitched into Wash.
ngton like thousand of brick and in spite
ot men OF both nations, succeeded in giving
ne immortal tremendous licking. SO
hat the day that commenced SO gioriously
most ingloriously ended.
For many years after the Surrender"
here was a GOODNESS between the deacon
md squire but as time rolled on, and their
ocks became frosted Ger with white, they
earned to call it a Joke Both are now
wing and whenever they meet they smoke
md talk about that ar scrape" like couple
# good, jolly old men, as they are