The Council Bluffs nonpareil. [volume] (Council Bluffs [Iowa]) 1857-1867, 1859-03-19

WELL ORDERED FAMILY.

| n WE'LL. ORDERED FAMILY.
| A writer in Blackwoed's Magazine thu.
describes the in,olerable oppression of living
in family governed by jai.-like rules:
once spent week in one or these well.
| ordered families it was great punishment,
TO me; hope, also, in some degree, TO my
/ was, "a place for everything, and every
/ thing 10 lis place" lwasn't. The disgrace
my somewhat vagrant habits led me into
there was dreadful Thevesy frst morning,
| opened Pater-faU,illas' newspaper. viii ct
was always laid in one particular spo, upon
the hreakfas; table, never 10 be violated by
any hand but his. There stood with my
back TO the 6re, coming the out, spread
sheet, and nodding cheerful good morning
! to my host, when he entered. had the
hardihOod even to read to him lou, of his
/ own paper y the last Indian despatch-rery
! politely, as ,heughs-and request his assis.
tance TO deeipher the possible place of a
dozen letters which the telegraph clerk ap-
| peared to have selected at random. To do
him justice, he bore this inroad on his rights
with tolerable outward compoSure; hu,
was formally made aware. ON the first op-
| portuaity, by Mrs. p, of the outrage had
|
| ably as deserved. Then left my hand
glnye on the library table, another in the
goyerness's parasol, (Which certainly was
not the place for it, and how i. got there
| have no eoneeption) and was formally pre-
seated with each article separately. and an
account of its discovery, in the presence Of
| the whole family assembled for dinner.
a. A. al. Ill Iat.l a
strict eross examination US to who had come
into the drawing-room with dirty shoes.
was the eulprit, of course, but was too great
coward to confess besides, the lady knew
perfectly we'll who it was, but was polite
enough to entertain the fiction that such
conduct was impossible TO any well bred
person; 1t must have been one of the chill
dren or house-maids, Of course; and the
whole investigation was intended for my
solemn warning and Improvement, just as
they used to whip little boy VIGOROUSLY
to strike terror into msbehaying little prin-
ceS.
Then the terrible punctuality which made
slaves of all Of us, and kept me always look
ing at my watch, and always afraid Of being
! late for something, as indeed was once for
dinner, in spite of all precautions-four
minutes and a hnlf exactly. Shall ever
forget it? If they only had the charity to
sit down quietly without me--if they had
put me off with no soup, cold fish, and the
last ragged cut of the mutton--if they had
sent me to bed without any dinner at all. as
once happened to me when ] was little
boy, or inflicted upon me any other reason
able and humane form of punishment; but
no, there they were, all waiting for me in
the draw tng room, all standing up, the door
set wide open, and the head Of the family
opening fire upon me ut once. before was
well inside it, with 'Now Mr.. -, will
YOU take in Mrs. P.?' OF course hammer
ed and stammered over an apology-'gu'te
unintentional.' etc. 'Oh! Of course, they
knew it must be quite unintentIonal only
in semi whisper-'Mr. p. did not like
waiting for his dinnern
There was an abominablc child, toe, in
that family, the very incarnation Of prcma-
turc method and order. AL the other chill
dren had redeemIng points of carclessncss
and destructivcncss about them; and We
soon established sort of free masonry
among ourselves rs fellow -culprits, trying
to keep each other out Of scrapes rs much
us possible !; they conveying to me private
warnings Us to how soon the prayer bell
would ring in the morning, and furnishing
me with valuable secret intelligence as to
the enemy's weak points, and the interpret
alton of the laws Of the Medes and persans,
to whom | was in captivity and |, finding
substitutes for impounded pencils, mending
broken cupid. who carried the wax matches
in his quiver, brushing the boys clothes
after birds nesting, before mamma saw
them and actually cutting up the ribbon Of
my eye glass into shoe strings for one young
lady who was generally in trouble on that
score. But as to the imp speak Of, he
was irrcproachabIc. If | left the door open,
he got up and shut it--not quietly, you un-
derstand, but oficiously and reproachfu!Iy.
If took down n volume from its shelf, and
it left my hand for one moment, if he could
get ut it. it was in its place again before |
knew what had become of it. | took cour-
ngc one cold morning, there being no one
but he and | in the room, to stir the fire,
and put the poker, when had done with it,
under the CRATE (Which take to be the nat
ural place Tor a poker) when up jumps this
well behaved little monster. and arranges It
by rule and measure where he had been told
it ought to be. take credit to myself for
the very great forbearnnce-he he and beng
nlonc-that | checked an inclination to
punch his head with il. Is it cxcusablc in
any rational beings to put themselves under
such lifelong penance rs this, and to bring
up their children and to force the poor un-
happy stranger, whom they get within their
gates, TO do likcwisr?