The national era. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1847-1860, 1859-04-28
"Our joys as winged dreams doe fye
Why, then, should sorrow last?
Since grief but agsravaIes thy losse,
Grleye moi for what lie naa.

says the gentle Bishop Percy and though to
the first part of his argument one might object
that, while joys, because acute sensations, are
necessarily feeting, sorrows, as passive affec-
tons, are properly chronic and durable, the
validity of the latter portion Of the verse is most
unquestionable, If the reason is appealed to.
But there are wounds of the soul, my friend,
requiring far other surgery than this to effect
their healing. We can dip the bleeding stump
In boiling OIL, but the process will not restore
us the lost limb. No cautery nor moxa, how
ever severe aud energetic, can cause the sever
ed member to grow out again. The griefs con.
huent with loss are entirely remediless, for the
simple reason, that the loss ITSELF manning and
dishguring, is irreparable. 1t is frequent and
Just comparison, that of the soul to a lutte
break one of its strings, and there is no work
man can repair it, as also there is no hand
however mastery, can evoke from it the old
time strains that gushed forth in unpremedi-
tated melody before it was injured. This snap
ping of a chord has been my fate, and whatever
harmony the instrument one time possessed is
now impaired. AT best, it can but give forth a
few imperfect tones in minor, capable, perhaps,
of sufficiently plaintive nocturne, but utterly
untitled to take part in the grand symphonies
Of the world. /
l have before me an old diary, which was
one of my vanities in the Idyl period with
which my story commences, and l shall nov
and then quote you from its pages. They are
crude, but fresh and give, more exactly than
could recall, tho ooloring of the heavens that
then shone above me. All, what sad echo
comes to nay heart as | finger those leavest
God pity US all,
Who vainly the dreams OF youth recall;
For of all sad words of tongue or pen,
The saddes are these t,night have been.'"
Yes, we'll and truly it might have been, hut in
mad, blind folly / flung away my pearl, and
now / sit at the Lords feast without bridal
garment.
The first entry in my journal bears the date
Of November 18th, 49,. / had graduated at
college during the previous summer, and now,
after having travelled about the country enough
to get healthy brown on my cheeks, had
settled myself down in o little ,Utopian nest of
my Own building, expecting to mature here and
send of, strong winged for flight, plentiful
hood of callow fancies. My tastes were all liter
airy, and aspired to the refined walks of dig
nifed authorship. To pursue my studies and
develop my imaginings, | conceived that
needed the command at once of perfect retire
mept and easy access to the world without
This, Il pleased myself with believing, had
now secured by renting couple of rooms in a
portion of the city remote from the hustle of
affairs, in the house of quiet family, who,
having nothing to do with me, flor l took my
meals at hotel,) would not break in upon nav
studies, nor interrupt my meditations. The
rooms were cosy, and / had plenty of comfort
securing arrangements. Here we're my books,
few in number, but laboriously chosen by my
self, and you may guess the merits of the Sc
lection when tell you that my biographies
we're headed by the lives of the thrice illus
trious heroes, Gargantua and Pantagruel; and
of my scientific treatises Burton's Anatomie
and Southey's Doctor took undisputed prece-
dence. Here were my pipes collegiate accu.
mutation, ranging from the "duddeen to the
lordly houkah and the fexile and musical mar
gil'heh. On the stove, by way of permanent
kxtupe, was placed little ten Kettle, capable of
producing boiling water in five minutes. Think
not, oh friend, of Noctes Underestimate for the
pleasant little prattler was seldom used, save to
aid me in the preparation of an occasional cup of
tea, for which decoction have a most unrnas
culine fondness, taking it at once as mental
stimulant and confirmation. And on this night
of November 18th, finding myself fixed and
comfortable, wrote the first page in my diary,
as follows:
This is TO be record Of myself reporter
of thought and feeling, of outward circumstance
and inward impression, so that may be able
70 study myself, and to measure my proper in
in the light of each incidental i'm
pulse and emotion. wish so to keep it that,
when look back upon it can honestly say, with
De Montague: Cest ici nn liore de bonnie. foy,
lectear; Jje ne my suis propose aul-
cune fin que donaestiqse ct pripee; Je MY Tag en-
MULE consideration de ton serpice, nj de ma
gloirc.' For this great unconscious way is the |
only means BY which one can properly achieve
gtorss for himself and do beneficial service to
others.
"For the days record, it is most suspicious.
This morning witnessed the appearance of my
irst successful attempt in literature, story in
the Weekly -, for which I received the
sum of ten dollars, Just enough to purchase me
that elegant CODY of Eschvlns have 60 ionaed !