The penny press. [volume] (Cincinnati [Ohio]) 1859-1860, 1859-11-01
A Tough Story

nowned wag, John Phenia;, of the Cali
fornia Pioneer The rsatler will see
that it records the verdict of "Coroner's
Inquest" and in other particulars bears
strong resemblance to some Of the tough
stories which have been circulated in this
state and generally believed:
DR.. Tushmaker was never regularly
bred as a physician or surgeon, but he
possessed naturally strong mechanical
genius and fine appetite, and finding
his teeth of great service in gratifying the
latter propensity, he concluded that he
could do more good in the world and cre-
ate more real happiness therein py putting
the teeth of the inhabi itants in good order
than in any other way, so he became
dentist
He was the man that q rst inve nted the
method of placing small cog wheels in
the back teeth, for the NOR o perfect mas
tication of food, and he claimed to be the
original discoverer of that meth cd oftilling
cavities with kind of putty--.which be-
coming hard directly cause the tooth to
ache so grievously that it has to bepulled,
thereby giving the dentist two successive
fees for the same job.
Tushmaker was one day seated in his
Office in the city of Boston, Mass, when
a stout old fellow named Byles presented
himself to have back tooth drawn.
The dentist seated his patient in the
chair of torture, and opening his mouth,
discovered there an enormous tooth on
the right hand side, about as large, as he
afterwards expressed it, las small Poly
glot Bible II shall have trouble with
this tooth" thought Tushmaker, but he
clapped on his heaviest forceps and pulled.
1t didn't come. Then he tried the turn :
screw, exerting his utmost strength, but
the tooth wouldn't come.
"Go away from here" said Tushmaker
to Byles, "and return in week, and l
will draw that tooth out for you, or you
will know She reason why"
Byles got up, clapped handkerchief
to his jaw, and put forth.
The dentist went to work, and in three
days he invented an instrument which he
was confident would pull any thing. 1t
was a combination of the lever, pulley,
wheel and axle, incline plane, wedge and
screw. The castings were made, and the
machine put up in the office, over an iron
chair, rendered perfectly stationary by
iron rods going down into the foundations
of the granite building.
In week old Byles returned he was
olamped into the iron chair, the forceps
connected with the machine attached
firmly to the tooth, and Tushmaker sta
tioning himself in the rear took hold of q
lever four feet long
He turned it slightly-0ld Bylss gave
groan, and lifted his right leg Anoth-
er turn, another groan, the higher went
Old Byles' right leg again.
what do you raise your leg forT
asked the doctor.
~ can't help it, said the patient.
"Well," said Tushmaker' "the tooth
is bound to come now"
He turned the lever clear round, with
a sudden jerk, and snapped Old Byless
head clean and clear from his shoulders,
leaving space of four inches between
the several parts
They had a post mortem examination
the roots of the tooth were found extend
ing down tne right 81 lie, through the
right leg, and turned up in two prongs
directly under the sole Of the right foot
"No WONDER" said Tushmaker, "that
he raised his leg"
The jury thought SO too, but they found
the roots much decayed and five sur
geons swearing that modification would
have ensued in few months, Tushmaker
was cleared on verdict Of "justifabls
homicide"
He was little shy of that instrument
afterwards but one day an old lady,
feeble and t1accid, came in to have tooth
drawn, and thinking it would come out
very easy, Tushmaker concluded, Just by
way of variety, to try the machine.
He did so, and at the first turn drew
the old ladys skeleton completely and
entirely from her body, leaving her
mass of quivering jelly in the chair
Tushmaker took her home in a pillow
case. She lived seven years after that,
and they called her the "India Rubber
Woman" She had suffered terribly with
the rheumatism, but after this occur
renee never had any pain in her bones.
The dentist kept them in glass case
After this machine was sold to the con-
tractor of the Boston Custom House. and
it was found that child three years of
age could by a single turn of the screw,
raise stone weighing twenty-five tuns.
Smaller ones were made on the same
principle, and sold the keepers of hotels
and restaurants They were advanta-
geOusly used for bening turkeys.
There is no moral at all to this story,
and it is possible that the circumstance
may have become slightly exaggerated.
Of course there can be no doubt of the
tr,,th of Tho main ;uo;dopta