The penny press. [volume] (Cincinnati [Ohio]) 1859-1860, 1859-08-24
HUMOROUS.


sees. "a
On mature reHection-it can't be posi-
Bile that Truth lies anywhere &. & q 3.
D@John says that it is bad msddlihg
with o train Of gunpowder; but If yon
want to be blown up to dead certainty,
just tread ON lady's train. He tried il,
and knows. aa< Va 3 +.
n0-The professor says, in his last
paper, that II LoyB YOU is all athe secret
that many, nay most women, have to tell.
When that is said, they are Like China
crackers on the morning Of the fifth Of
July" ro. @,ii
n6-A shrewdobserver of fhumannatur
has come to the conclusion that s'the same
ladies who would faint to see a mans
shirt on clothes line, will, in a waltz,
lovingly repose their heads on the bosom
of the same garment, when the man is in
it" g4s - 4.
D6S. A man on being asked by: his
neighbor how his wife did, answered, u
"Indeed, neighbor, this case is pitifpl
my wife fears that she will die, and / fear
she will not which makes q disconsolate
house." NJ; n 81. 5:..5.sa ...
D6-" Henry, you ought to be ashamed
to throw away bread like thast you might
want it some day" Hoa.a oais. 4 ...i.' ~
'"Well, mother, would stand any better
chance Of getting it then, if 4 should eat
itup now?" 'a'.'
gJA physician walking in Mr.. Hamil-
toms garden, at Gotham, expressed his
surprise at the prodigious growth Of the
trees. ir 80.
'-"My dear sir" replied Hamilton, re-
member they have nothing else to do
s4-"Q," the seventeenth letter Of the
English alphabet, was borrowed from the
Latin, and it's name came from the French
queue, tail. 1t is always followed by u,
and never ends word. dea
B6r"Mr Smith, what other commenta-
tors are there besides Clarkeg,
"Well, John, ! don't know, but we had
some very common taters at my boarding
house the other day."
nT- A man being awakened by the
captain of boat with the announcement
that he must not occupy his berth with
his boots on, very considerably replied
"Oh, the bugs won't hurt en-, l guess;
they are an old pair. Let 'em-rip."
Dd"In one of the counties of Wiscon-
sin, it is saii there are three, candidates
for the Legislature: ]. NJ. Root Democrat
Robert Hogg, free-soil, and T. II. Dye,
whig. So, on the election, it will be
"Root, Hogg or Dye" with the voters.
na-A sneaking, dirty fellow being in
fear of bailiffs, wished to disguise himself
A wag gave him the following advice:
"Wash yourself, and hold up your head,
and l assure you nobody will suspect who
you are" 'H''
B0- An Ohio editor recently took a
contemporary to task for copying choice
scraps from his editorial columns and not
giving credit for them. The cotemporary
replied BY saying he "did not do credit
business!'' .H
H6s- Friend Mallaby / am pleased
that thee has got such fine organ in thy
church" e"
"But," said the clergyman, II thought
you were opposed to having an organ in a
church" 0a.
$50 l am" replied Friend Tommy, ''but
then, if thee worship the Lord by machin-
cry, ! would like thee to have q first rate
instrument" ia
peA.A little three-year-old girl was rid
ing in the cars with her father few days
since, when lady remarked
j. .''Thafs pretty baby" b.. b..
&he little lady's eyes flashed fire as she
drew herself up to her fullest hight and
rerlied,- .'i- o r. n
N amt baby--I wear boots and
hoopsl' Dc .7 '.mda AZ,
QUITE A MEDLEY.--A witty exchange
serves up the following queer hash to its
numerous readers, viz:
'Unbustled ladies, pure and undefiled
Christians, disinterested friends, common
honesty, sound potatoes, frstrate butter
unwatered milk, and rich printers-ar'
scarcer' s.5 FW FbH H
We indorse it all--particularly the las
A LOVE Story IN BRIEF.-In th'
Louisiana lowlands lived lovely Lucy
Leslie. Levi Larkins loved Lucy lavishly
Lucy loved Levi largely likewise, Lev
lassoed Lucy Lunkins legal lumphead
lashed the lovers together, and lots oflittl'
Larkinses leapt kimberly long the lump
kins, lending loud luster to the land ant
likewise causing lively pleasure to tn
hearts of Levi and Lucy Larkins. ,a
ARAB GALLANrRY.- Frenchman, Will
residing in one Of the Oriental cities, wa
once watering some flowers in window
4 and accidentally filed the pots too pro
(, fusely, 90 that quantity Of water hap
(, I, pened 70 fall on an Arab, who was beloy
basking in the sun. "a q p,
n's1 The man started up, shock his clothes
and thus gave vent to bis feelings respect
;rr, %ho n{fas,dar.-- 3 ;iN&Goyd T-i N
TIf it is an old man who has done this
] despiss him, If tits an old Sawoman,
forgive her If it is young man, ours
him; but II it is q young woman, than
her" s&