Burlington free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1827-1865, 1859-06-03

That form OF asking the question is little
painful to me, but it is quite strongly i'm
why.
am. in fact, bald. The family h ,ir falls
out early, and my head shines, at this mo-
ment Ii ke II huge ostrich's egg. In church
ON Sundays, usually leave glove on the
top of my head to protect it from draughts
Tor haze the ialsity of n wig. Before Ba.
iaain removed into his present house, which
1t is Mrs. Bala,m's pride to keep clean, we
boarded together. and took pleasure in toy
ing with AN only chill of theirs, who, am
| deyoutly thankful, has been since removed to
distant board ing, chool
One evening Balaum asked me to tea.
Now, though bald, | was not old; | was
'narrlageai,lc yet; | could still sigh and sing,
and my toilette was choice and exact. The
company was not large, and it was silent.
have noticed that the Balaam parties are,
IN word, dreadful. Mrs Balaan looks ms
II che were ready to mop up or sweep away
upon the instant any remark that should
chance to be dropped. The consequence is,
that people grin, and squrm. and look at
books OF engravings, at the little social festi-
walls OF the Baliiams, and smile 50 kindly up
on dear Mrs. Balaam when the 20 away,
thanking her for such a charming evening.
NhN should people arrange their hair. ana
pat on lace dr sses, ana Jewels, and gloves,
and carry bouquet, for the sake of looking
lnt' the Bnlaam picture books?
As the party WIS tci-plrty it WIS not
large and we all sat. You know what trag-
,cil moments Of depression come over the
best regulated tca- partcs-but an ordinary
'estisity Of the kind is IL revel com pared with
tins. The Balaam tea-partics are what the
French would call =" 5 IDENTITIES At this
particular one | endcavored to "carry it OFF,
galy. | smiled and chatted, and laughed
at myown humor, and criticised the pictures
in the drawing opm album, and tried in ev-
cry way to cnliven the occasion.
But in the midst Of one of my cheeriest
efforts, while the eyes Of the company were
all fixed upon me, the young heir of B,laim
since happily removed as | said-came
and stood in front of me, and regarded me So
stead'astly that my attention and that of ev-
cry person it. the room was attracted to him.
Suddenly, as he stood staring before me, he
began to rub the top of his head still gazing
ut me, L thought the brat had gone out of his
ridiculous wits, and paused So did every
body else; perfect silence reigned in the room,
while this wicked child kept rubbing the top
OF his head, and, contemplating the reful-
gent top OF mine. He ut length, in Il loud
voice. asked. before that comp pany, How
DYE DO Ir?"
| pardoned the laughter of the party
laughed myself. And whenever since, won
der at any circumstance, the formula of my
inquiry is the same and, therefore when |
think of the Balaams, always wonder how
they did it,
know how it will be when they come
home in the autumn. For weeks the house
will smell of pepper, camphor, and tobacco,
as the carpets, and curtains, and winter
clothes are unrolled. Mrs. B. will come out
in great force in every department. pickl
ing and preserving, and consequent checked
aprons and curlpapers will set in. In the
liter days of Septemh her Balaam will rub his
hands, and say hopefully "Most time for u
fire - Mrs. Balaam, who is woman of
fixed principles, takes this symptom at the
very outset, and replies: "You know, Mr.. |
Balaam, that we never have fires until after
the 9Th of November; it's foolish extravgance
don't pamper yourself"
Bllaam has given up smoking he has
given up drinking wine; he has given up
going to the theatre; he has given up driv-
ing, or buying books. which "only clutter
up the hous'" lie has given up asking u |
friend to dinner, or to pass the night. He
has given up wearing dressing-gown or |
slippers in the parlor. or reading lis news
papers there. or putting his legs over the |
arms of easy-chairs.-lle has given up little
excursions, or lingering in the morning af;cr
breakfast. lie has given up having the |
rooms at higher temperature than 20 :.
He has given up walking up and down the |
drawing room. and going up the front stairs. |
lie has given up scoding the servants for
bringing him cold plates at dinner and cold |
G. .l I L.. L., A.