The Kenosha telegraph and tribune. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1859-1860, 1859-09-29
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FASHION is funded talent .-Enserson.
DRUNKENNESS turns man out of himself and
leaves beast in his room.
II is better to stoop at high doorway, than
TO run against low one.
WHAT is society after all, but mixture Of
histories and miss-eries!
VIRTUE is like rich stone, bust plain SET
Bacon
THERE is no objection to broas in house, so
that they emanate from the kitchen.
BE content with enough: You may butter
your bread until you are unable to eat it.
WHEN is lover like a tailor? When he
presses his suit.
WHY are ripe potatoes in the ground like
thieves? Because they ought to be taken up.
CICERO gives expression to beautiful tho't
when he says, 81 go from life as from an inn,
not as from home"
A NAN up town has sold his piano in conse-
quence of the hard times He is now teaching
his daughter to perform on the wash-board'
The music is not quite so pleasant, but much
more to the purpose. So we think.
II DIDN'T dare to tell you, wife, before we
were married, that my teeth are false" 81
could get along well enough with you, husband,
if your teeth were the only false thing you car
ry in your mouth"
BLoNDIN has performed such wonderful feats
that an exchange thinks it would be much safer
to cross the Niagara wheeled by Blondin over
the rope than to trast that man-trap called the
Suspension Bridge.
A LADY asked a minister whether a person
might not be fond of dress and ornament with
ont being proud. Madam" said the minister,
"when you see a fox's tail peeping out of the
hole, you may be sure the fox is within"
'I'm afraid" said lady to her husband, that
am going to have stiff neck" "Not at all
improbable, my DEAR" replied her spouse; Il
have seen strong symptoms of it ever since we
were married"
GRAPES ON THE WISCONSIN RIvER.-Mr
Kehl has vineyard on the Wisconsin river
near the village of Clifton, in Sank county
The Catawba and Isabella are alone cultivated
and the yield this year will be 500 gallons.
THE following is true of more things than one
in every day life: "You charge a dollar fol
killing a calf, you smutty rascal" said planter
to an old negro. b" No, no, massa," replied The
gentleman from Africa, "charge .fifty-cents fo
killing calf, and fifty cents for de knolo-ho,o."
THE Chicago Tribune advises farmers to GU
all the wild hay upon the marshes and prairie
that is possible this fall it is quite certain tC
bear high price. Already is it being exported
to Ohio from Illinois, the hay crop in the forme
State being total failure.
A WOMAN in Chicago was chided for not go
ing to see her husband, who had been badly in
ljured Her excuse was, that she only heard Q
his injury through the papers, and "they don
always tell the truth" No such excuse for con
ljugal neglect has ever been given hereaway.
In Iowa, they have such huge long-nosed hog
in portions of the State, that the settlers emplo
them to pillow the fields, They bury corn co
at one side of the field and place hog at tn
other side. The 'poker'' Immediately digs hi
snout into the rich soil, and turns furrow equs
to that of the best plow, right up to the cob.
FEEDING OF THE MuLTITUDE.-The folllowin
delicacies were eaten at one hotel in Chicag
during the ten days from Saturday Sept. 10tl
to the Goth:
Beef, $3.50 lbs Chickens, number 1850
coffee, 500 lbs eggs, 1925 doz; -four, 26 bbls
milk, 922 gallons mutton, $40 lbs potatoes,
bush sugar, LAPS lbs. Fair eating for Fs
week.
"OUR LITTLE four-year- fold, Willie, who WI
early taught the improperly of resenting I'M
. ries or returning blows, but who, withal, h'
as much of human nature in him as most lac
ofhis age, was not long since struck violentl
on one OF his cheeks by his little sister jimmie
when, quickly turning the other, he broke OF
with
There, dog gOne-ye hit the other, a7iH get"
!" LIVING NEAR To GoD.-One day little glr
about five years old, heard preacher OF &c
tain denomination praying most Justify, TIL Il
roof rang with the strength of his supplication
farming to her mother, and reckoning the m
:. ternal ear down to speaking distance, 81
e whispered =
Mother don't you think that if he lived nea
er God he wou ldn't have to talk so loud
Such question is worth volume on Eli