White Cloud Kansas chief. [volume] (White Cloud, Kan.) 1857-1872, 1859-10-06
"Come tell rs all about the war,
And what they 81 each other for"

And what they It each other for"
IPiE<s .arfLastie.
'Thers is a divinity shapes our ssads,
Rough chop EN- wont.n
IDaaisi Esbst<r's Dietiouarv.
snHo.-Ha. is that dagger see before mel
oris il Oaly Sam Patehhjostl
wAsHrSGroS-'ris bot the bsayinE OF my Lord.
sUrIo.-Then die eOutsnt,
For feared me much it was a sastfIs-rsksi
whsn an dead. bury me in the ground,
And kivsF me up with dinl
[BVroasDears
There is certain brick-lsyer loa6ng
about Troy, by the name and title Of
Captain Heed" whose principal oecu-
patton is drinking whiskey and acting as
agent for colony of free nig0ers from
the South. How he acquired his militia
ry title. is question which partakes con-
siderably of the traditionary but from
the most reliable information to be OBJ
tanned from the pages of Heather MythOl-
osy, Esop's Fables, Arabian Nights
Entertainment. Mother Goose's Melodies.
and Medical Almanacs. it is supposed he
was an officer in the First Punic War,
or in the great battle which we are
told was witnessed in the Heavens.
We have on several occasions commented
on his proceedings in manner which we
deemed commensurate with his character
and standing-public acts, be it remem-
bered but never interlered in his private
affairs. His wrath waxed exceeding
great thereat and he had been for some
time past boasting to our friends and his,
that we dare not show ourself in Troy ;
for If we did, he intended to cane or cow
hide rs npon sight. without delay or pre-
liminary. At the Pro-Slavmy COnVen
ton, on Saturday week. he took especial
pains to announce that he intended to
perform that thing; and inquired Of some
one, whether we intended to be present at
the Republican Convention, on Wednes-
day. He was particularly anxious that
we should attend. as he was impatient to
fulfill his threat. The news spread far
and wide that we were to be cowhided
upon that day and the idea seemed to
tickle some folks excessively.
1t so happened that the Republicans Of
this Township saw proper to appoint us
as a Delegate to the County Convention.
We were rushed with our business. and
had thought Of not attending; bat hear
ing what had been promised us. we de-
termined to go, as we did not want to be
the cause of an honest man breaking his
promise-and Captain Heed is an honest
man. We knoD he is, for he says SO
himself, and he ought to know. He al
lows no occasion to pass without announ-
cling this important fact, and has thereby
earned the name of "Old Honesty p
We secretly hoped, at the same time, that
he would pay us the s. he owes us, while
he had his hand in; but, to tell the truth,
we expected to get the IS about as much
as we expected to get cowhided.
We went to Troy, attended to our du-
ties as Delegate, and listened to por-
ton Of the discussion between Parrott and
Mcdowell. 1t was getting late, and our
company desired to start for home. AT
ter leaving the Court House, q gentleman
stopped us, to make some explanations.
While we stood conversing. up came the
valorous Captain Heed, with FIRE flashing
from his eyes, and the fumes Of rot-gut
issuing from his mouth. Mouth, did we
say? Pardon us, reader-it is only red
hole, and very filthy one. at that. This
was the man who was going to cowhide
us without preliminary. The Captain is
well acquainted with us; and we know
him. perhaps. better than he is aware of,
as he shall presently see. But notwith-
standing his knowledge. and his determi-
nation to discard preliminaries, he inqui-
red if our name was Miller? We had
never yet had occasion to disown our
name, and did not feel disposed 10 TO so
then-so we acknowledged the soft i'm
peachment." He then commenced blus-
tering; said that we had assaulted him in
his private business, and all that sort Of
stuff. We demanded to know uhat bus
mess. He replied that we had published
him as being drunk. at Hiawathal That
rather took us down; for the truth is, it
was the first we knew that he had ever
been within the limits of Brown County.
Although we knew who he was, We now
began to doubt his identity. and therefore
asked him what his name was to which
he replied: "My name is Heed. BY Cd,
and I'm lawyer by 2rOfessiOnl'' Mr..
Heed. by 3d." then went on to say
that we had accused him Of stealing wa
termelons out Of Mr.. Lsrzelere's field.
He was mistaken there. for we were well
aware that he did not get any water
melons
Here he had disclosed three things to