The penny press. [volume] (Cincinnati [Ohio]) 1859-1860, 1859-09-07
HUMOROUS.

J W. kDuICMu ulO hNAO-
abouts whether the cup Of sorrow has Il
saucer? Can anybody tell us?
SgA young carpenter having been
told that "the course of true love never
did run smooth" took his plane under
his arm when he went courting.
@|"How beautiful" said lady, "the
face Of nature looks after shower"
"Ges, madam, and so would your
after undergoing Il similar process"
Dsg~An honest old lady, when told OF
her cousins death, exclaimed -
"Well, do declare, our troubles never
come alone 1t amt week since lost
my best hen, and now dear Tom has gone
too, poor man.
G;1~ Black.eyed ladies are most apt to
be passionate and jealous. Blue-eyed,
soulful, truthful, afiectionate and conid-
ing. Grey-eyed, philosophical, literary,
resolutc, cold,hearted. Hazel-eyed, quick
tempered and fckle.
DaS~A young man boing in a church
inattcntive to the service, and restless,
asked of an old gentleman who was in the
next pew,
"Do you know, sir, rule without an
exception p
eyes, replied he, IA gentleman always
bebavcshimself well especially in church. =
Re1rA humorous divine, visiting gem
tleman whose wife was none Of the most
amiable, overheard his friend say:
"If it was not for that stranger in the
next room, would kick you out of doors.
Upon which the clergyman stepped in
and said,
"Pray, sir, make no stranger of me"
Ra" What's your business my
friend?' said Mr.. O'Grady to rough
looking specimen of the Emerald Isle.
Sure" returned the latter, "didnt Tim
Mulroonys wife tell me your honor was
wantin' a boy?" "And do you call your-
self a boy?' asked the barrister. "Why,
do look like grip was Pats quick
rejOinder.
eg""Woll,' said Yankee, proudly,
to travelling Scot as they stood by the
Falls of Niagara, lis not that wonderful
In your country you never saw anything
like that?" 'Like that" quoth the latter,
there's far mair wonderful concern ma
trae miles frae whar | was born" 'In-
deed, said Jonathan, "and pray what
kind Of concern may it be-" "Why,
man" replied the other 'lts a peacock
wi woodenleg"
M:y" An English officer at Venice, walk
ing one day from Doge's palace, thought
he observed one Of the ilgures OF The clock
tower of St Marks stoop down and take
up something, lie looked again, and ne
actually saw the figure take a pinch of
snuff! The officer confessed he was ap-
prehensive that he was ioosing his senses
or that his vision was deranged, when an
old woman, observing his CONSERVATION
soon explained the seeming miracle by
telling him that one of the figures that
struck the hour being out of repair, her
nephew had been engaged as substitute
till she machinery was put in order.
Ny John Randolph was one Of the
most sarcastic men that ever lived. One
time a young man attempted to make his
acquaintance. He obtained an introduc.
tion, and among the first remarks, said,-
81 passed by your house lately, Mr.
Randolph. D
81 hope you always will" was the
reply.
Another one twitted him as to his want
Of education" Randolph said in reply,
"rhe gentleman reminds NE of fhe
lands about the head waters of the Mont
gomery, which arc poor by nature, and
cultivation entirely ruined them"
RATHER BoLp.--A gentleman on his
way from BoSton;to Vermont stopped at
tavern where he met an inquisitlye coun-
try fellow, who said to him:
Where have you come from, If | may
be so bold? ?'
"Not bold at all came from Boston
Where are you going if may bo so
bold?'
Il am a going to Vermont
who are you going to sec there, if
may be SO bold"
81 am going to see the widow NJ
Are you married man, if ] may be
so bold y
Il am q widower.'
Are you going to marry the widow NJ,
If | may be 10 bold p
g. ho,, tb,Li H. L1IIr,