The independent press. (Abbeville C.H., S.C.) 1853-1860, 1859-12-23
VOLUME VII.---NO. 34
EXCERPTS.

EXCERPTS.
When is n farmer very ,naterualf-When
he cradles his grain.
The barber who dressed ,he head Of a
barrel, has been engaged to curl the locks
of canal.
There is man in England 30 fat that a
child WAS recently killed BY his shadow fall
ing on it.
"hattree represents a'person who persii.s
in incurrng debts '-Wilow, (wflowey
Prayer should be the key Of ths day and
the lock Of the night.
The feeling Of love for her children sur
wives all other affections in every mothers
heart.
""hose son are you. my little boy i"-"I
amt nobody's SON.; PM Mr.. Thomsou's
nephew, SIR
There are some men who will walk up
to the cannon's month";. and some woman
who walk up to lovers; without shrink
ing.
Fashionable circles wer Q never so numer-
GUS rs now. Almost every lady that ap.
pears in the street is the centre Of orie..
lfone hundred and twelve pounds make
one hundred-weight,.h ,.how many will make
your wife wait9
"Sir, have you read Il . ode composed
to Sleep ooh, yes, and it composed mo
to sleep"
The reason why whales frequent the
Asctc Seas is, probably, because they sud-
ply the "Northern lights" with OIL
"Pa," they tell us about the angry ocean
what makes the ocean angtyF-"oh, it has
been crossed so often"
1t IS legal maxim that "the law doesnot
concern itself about small matters = but
lawyers and law makers often do.
Isn't is rather an old fact in natural his.
tory that the softest swa'er is caught when
it rains the 1ardests ts.,
"Up to snuff is nos,rendered., elevated
to an equal capacity with The titillatipg par
ticles Of the Tobacco plant
Mrs. Smithers says the only way to pre-
vent steamboat explosions is to make the
engineers "bile their water op shore. In
her opinion all the Dustin is done by cooking.
the steam on board.
The sun Isl very bright body; but the
gentle moon, when she steps in between him
and the earth, takes the shine out of him.
. To spin and weave, to knit and sew, WAS
our grandames' employment; but now to
dress and catch beau, our girls they calf
enjoyment.
Tommy, my son, what is longitude ~;
A clothes line, paps." ."-''Pr owe It, my son.'
because it stretches from pole 10 pola.'
my bark is wrecked" as the dog said.
when thrown overheard in the middle Of
the Atlantic Ocean, B.
"Miss. what have you done to be ashamed
Of. that you blush so a"-"Sir, what have
the rose and the strawberries and the peaches
done that they blush soa'.
Tue MOCK AND THE REAL.-=-You know
mockmodesly as you do ,nock-turtle, from
its being the produce Of calls head.
A rasc;ly old bachelor says man fra-
quently admits that be was in the wrong
but woman never--shs vas "only mis-.
taken
Learn in childhood, # you can, that hap
piness is not outside but inside.- A good
heart and a clear conscience bring happi-
ness {; no riches and no circumstances aIoas
ever do.
When you receive a nots'from your lady
love, and kiss it, (aa, Of course, you aro ex,
pected to do,) why is it like the nightmNref
Because it's the ink-you.buss.
An indivs6al was arrested the other jsY
while endeavo'ing to pick a gentiemanas
pocket. He said he wasn't used to the busi.
ness, and was just trying to get HE hand
in. .s e.,
IxaESIoUs.-The Chinese method Of
'aking off boots is as follows They piaes
The bootin avice, and applysa yoke to ths
neck. worked by . wheel, Which ,oaB stops
working when tKe;boos o. heal CONES off
That was a, triumphant appeais ofs'.hs
over ofl antiquity. Who. il arguing ,hs
oirold <aiebitectpns over The
pew, .qis Z bere win yops saa aspy wedsra
building thst has lasted % long - >stAss ss4
,ieoi4y ss&.