The Grand Haven news. [volume] (Grand Haven, Mich.) 1858-18??, 1859-05-11
MISCELLANEOUS AND NEWS ITEMS.


= Every man is the architect of his
own fortune, for character is fate.
A short needle makc, the best OK.
petition in plain sewing.
= The shortness of life is very often
owing to the irregularities of the iirer.
= Always be up at sunrise if YOU wish
to have the most golden Of prospects.
- IL is easier TO be wise for others
than for ourselves.
- Nature has sometimes made fool,
but eoxcomb is always of mans own
making.
- Our merits procure us the esteem
of mon of sense and our good fortunes
that of the public.
- Good humor is tho blue sky of the
soul, in which every star of talent will
shine more clearly.
- Why must man without hands
be very garrulous2 Because he cannot
hold his tongue.
- What prevents cook from swal-
lowing her apron? Because it goes
against her stomach.
- Why should crinolinc be abolished!
Because il introduces all sorts of women
into the most fashionable circles.
In what ship have tho greatest
number Of mon been wrecked! Partner
shipl
"Old ago is coming on me rapidly"
rs the urchin said, when stealing apples
from an old mans garden, and saw the
owner coming, cowhido in hand.
- There is phrenologist in London
who can tell the contents Of barrel by
examining its head. He makes his cx-
animation with a gimlet.
any dear wife, l wish you would
try to keep your temper" any dear
husband, l wish you would try and get
rid of yours"
= An Irish paper announces that
Mr.. Kenny, returning TO town, fell down
and broke his neck, but happily received
no further damage!
"A California jury in a suicide case,
| lately found the following verdict: ave,
the jury, find that the deceased was
| fool"
- In Ingersoll, Canada, few days
ago, James Finnegan, employed in Oil
ver's planning mill, fell OH "a circular saw,
and had his head nearly severed from his
body.
-" | always pick my company" said
n suspicious character, turning from a
company of gentlemen TO whom he saw
he was disagreeable. "And their pock-
cts, too, when you get chance" replied
one of them.
- The amount of guano shipped from
the Chinchas in February was 1892
tons-of which 3,S2s tons went 10 Eng
land; l0,105 tons to the United States;
553 tons to France; and 1877 TO Barba-
does.
- OF the once powerful tribe of Pc
quot Indians, there now remain fourteen
males and seventeen females, residing on
a reservation of $50 acres in the town of
Lcdyard, Conn. Their property amounts
TO $S,5S2.
- Mr.. John Bivens and Miss M. A.
Turk were married at Prattsvile, Greene
county, N. Y, at u o'clock p. NJ, on the
10th inst, and at nine o'clock the same
evening tho bride died.
- John Leham has been sentenced to
Imprisonment for life, Mt Urbana, Mo, for
violating the person of Miss Deliah Wild
erman. The prisoner was n day or two
afterwards convicted of horsestealing, and
sentenced to an additional eight years.
- Why is pretty young lady like
locomotive engine! Don't give it up,
there are lots Of reasons: She sends of
the sparks, transports The mails (males),
has a train following her, and passes over
the plain.
- With q true wife husbands faults
should be sacred. A woman forgets
what is due TO herself when she conde-
scends TO that refuge of weakness fe-
male confident. A wife's bosom should
be the tomb of husbands failings.
- At tho exhibition of millcnery on
"Openlng Day." In Now York, last week,
one I" love of bonnet" bore the price of
one hundred and fifty dollars; and anoth-
or, destined for bride, was trimmed with
lace which cost twenty-four dollars yard.
- Col. Tai. p. Shaffner says that "du-
ring the coming summer, with engineers
already engaged, he intends TO travel over
and examine the route via Greenland,
Iceland, and FARGO Isles, which, in his
opinion, is the only one practicable for
telegraph between Europe and America"
- A charitable individual in the neigh
borhood of Willamette, Conn, proposed
to raise a subscription for poor, hard
working man, who recently lost valua-
bic COW. Every one applaudcd the OBJ
jet and its originator--money was raised
poor man expected 20 bo made happy,
when his benevolent" friend produced an
old bill against him TO lust the amount