The independent. (Harrisonburg, La.) 1853-18??, 1859-04-13

SANcrUM- -oNIous-An editor always con-
siders h's room better than his company
N. Y. Post.
"My son." said doting father, who was
about taking his son into business, "what
shall be the style of the new tirm!' "WelI,
governor" said the one-ardtwenty youth,
looking up to find an answer, Il don't know
but suppose we call it John Ii. Samplin d
Father!'
81 say, sambo, does you know de key to
de prosperity Oh de Soul p "kev to de
prosperity Oh do souf? Big words Juno !;
guess you must hab been eatin' massa's
dicksun'rv. Goliy, amt learned nnff to
answer dat" "WelI, chile it's de darlley."
"The wicked don't live ont half their
days" said good man to Cully, his negro
servant.
dat is queer" said Guilty." him no
live out half him day? Den s'pose he die
bout / / o'clock in dc forenoon -
Although the word "ovation' seems de-
rived from the Latin ora'n, an egg, we hardly
suppose that a mob which pets poor tel-
low with eggs can properly be said TO give
him an ovation.
SESrNESrAL.-Thof first idea that runs
into melody is love. A b.ushing Girl. as
yet unawakened to the mysteries of her na-
ture, and iluttering in the first ec3tacy Of
her affection, is like four-year-old prattIer,
clamhering upon the table to get at a plum
pudding, without knowing how hot it is.
"Now is the winter of my dscontent," as
the gill said when she attended the wedding
of a rival belle.
A SMART SpEIL.-A gentleman in North
Chester, Vermont, two or three weeks since
offered as prize a copy Of Webster's Una
brdged Dictionary to the one of the schol- |
ars in all the public schools in town who !
should "Spell AL the Others down" Seven
schools were accordingly represented, and
about dozen teachers and large crowd
of spectators were present, when the trial
took place on the o5th of February. But
one trial was to be had OIL a word, and the
unfortunate who missed was TO take his or
her seat Eighty scholars contcndel for
the honor and the prize, and after five hours
trial, five pupils remained standing, and the
enthusiastic audience soon raised the need
full to purchase copy Of the Unabridged.
A PRINTER IN CouRr.-A suit came on
the Other day in which Il printer named Kel
w, was witness. The case was an assault
and battery, that came off between two men
named Brown and Henderson.
Mr. kelvy did you witness the affair re-
'o1el to'
Yes, SIR
well, what have YOU to say about it'
THAT it was the best piece of punctuation
have seen in some time
'What do you mean by that?
Why, that Brown dotted one Of Hender-
sons eyes, for which Henderson put peri
ID to Browns breathing for about half
minute
The court comprchended the matter st
once, and fined the defendant fifty dollars.
A BROAD Hrsr.-The great man Of the
village being at dinner, allowed one of his
enants to stand while he convcrsed with
aim. "What news, my friend ~ said the
,quire None that | know off, replied
he farmer, "except that SOW of mine has
| litter Of thirteen pigs, and she has only
welve teats.' What will the thirteenth
10 q asked the landlord ado as do"
eturned Hodge; ''it will stand and look on q.
while the Others eat"
An ignorant fellow, who was about to get t
married, resolved to make himself perfect in :
he responses of the marriage ceremony; but !
" mistake be cammttcd to memory the Of {
ice of baptism for those of riper years; 50 /
shon they asked him in church: I
wilt thou have this woman to be thv +
sedded wife? +
The bridegroom answered solemnly: u /
cnounce them all"
The astonished minister said, ~ think YOU
re fooI,' To which he repie& II.
!. - ~ I I - r. L. l l.