Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1859-02-26
Fact, Fancy and Fun.

erie was drawn out badly hurt.
The man who struck Aun altitude
has suddenly left for parts unknown.
Time marks the title page of our
lives, death the finis, and the grave the
binding.
Mrs: Partington has bought horse
so spirituous that he always goes off in
a decanter.
Somebody has called childhood "a
rosy lawn between the cradle and the
school house,
Superficial knowledge is like oil
upon water-it shines deceitfullv, but
can easily be skinned off.
God hath given to mankind COM
mon library-his works; and to every
man proper book-himself.
The young lady who "fell dead
IN love with young man." revived on
being asked to name the day
An ignorant man from the country
inquiries whether mock turtle soup is
made out of tortoise shell cats9
"A rustic friend suggests that type
setting must be sedentary occupation.
A great many stand it, though!
They who shake their head at IT.
regular beauties, are like divines who
will not admit good works without
faith.
Men forget that many privation
has hidden JOY, as the flower blooms
under the leaf Shadow is sometimes
shelter.
They pass best over the world,'
says Queen Elizabeth, "who trip it over
quickly, for it is but bog-if we stop
we sink"
-"You have very striking counte-
nance" as the donkey said to- the ele-
phant when he hit him over the back
with his trunk.
A little one, after undergoing the
disagreeable operation of vaccination,
exclaimed-"Now I won't have to be
baptized, will ?"
None of the natives of South Afrl
ca can tell how old they are. If asked
their age, they reply, ''Does a man re-
member when he is born!''
lodgings are so scarce in Australia
that men pay dollar for lying IN the
gutter, and fifty cents extra for resting
their heads on the curb stone.
"A Kentuckian being asked how
much corn he raised, answered:
"About ten barrels of whisky, be-
sides what we wasted for bread"
An editor down east thinks chill
dren's games are becoming popular
with older persons now days, as he
has seen several gentlemen chasing
hoops ID our streets. =
"A good story is told abou1 Mrs.
Douglas, when asked recently regard
ing her politics. Her reply was: 81
am an old line Wing, but with pretty
strong Douglas procHvities.'' -
"A RUN.-A friend of ours, speak
ing of being "hard rum these times,
says he knows a man who has 'srrn
his face" SO long that he has worn it
all off, except his nose. That is still
running.
Nothing was so much dreaded in
our school days, as to be punished by
sitting between two girls. All, the
force of education ! In after years we
learned to submit to such things with
out shedding tear.
Family ties-a marriage certificate
and eight children.
Painful narative-a dogs tail under
cart wheel.
Poor look out-a Jail window.
Fast horse-one that is hitched to q
post.
An editor says his attention was
first drawn to matrimony, by the skill
ful manner in which pretty girls han
| died broom.
A brother editor says the manner in
which his wife handles broom is not
50 pleasing.
"A fellow coming out of tavern,
one frosty morning rather top-heavy,
fell on the doorstep. Trying to regain
his footing he soliloquized: eff it be
true that the wicked stand on slippery
ground, must belong to different
class: for it's more than / can do"
A minister of the gospel with not
much pulpit gift, came into the place
of worship drenched with rain, and
said to brother who stood by as he
shook and brushed his clothes: 81
shall take cold If go into the pulpit 90
wet.n "Oh, no." was the reply, ''von
,Iu-.,-c (7,.,f 1,,o,frb there Sn