American union. [volume] (Morgantown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1855-1859, 1859-02-11
II Ii nj orous.


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An amusing story of DANES Bar.
rington, rector of Bristol, is related by
one of the British Press. Having to
appear for the plaintiff in the case of
winter assize at Clonmel, he "let in
to the defendant in no measured terms"
The individual inveighed against not
being present, only heard Of the in
vectivcs. After Darlington, however
got back to Dublin, the Tippcrary man
lost no time in going to pay his compli-
ments to the offending counsel
lie rode all day and night, and cover,
ed with slect he arrived before Barring
tons residence, in Harcourt street,
Dublin. Throwing the bride over the
railing of the area, he announced his
arrival by laundering knock at tho
door, which nearly shook the street.
Barrington's valet answered the sum-
mons, and opening the street door, be-
held the. aspiration of rough coated
Tippcrary fire.oater, with large stick
under his arm, and the sleet sticking
to his bushy whiskers.
is your master up ? demanded tho
visitor, in a voice that gave some init.
nation of the object of his journey.
NO, said the man. ..
'Then give him my compliments,
and say. Mr.. Foley, (he'll know tho
name) will be glad to see him.
The valet went up stairs and told
his master, who was in bed, the pur-
port of his visit. .. -.
Then don't let Mr.. Foley in for
your life, said Darlington, for its not
hare nor a brace of ducks no has
come to present me with.
The man was leaving the bed room,
when rough, wet coat pushed by him,
when thick voice said, 'by your leave
and at the some moment MIR. Foley en-
tered the bedroom. ..'.-.s
You know my business, sir, said
he, to Darlington; i have made jour
'hcy to teach you better manners, and
Its not my purpose torcturn till have
broken every bone in your body, and
at the same time ho cut figure eight
with his shillalah before the cheyal
glass.
You do not mean to say you would
murder me in bed?' said Darlington
who had as much honor as cool cour
age. -,
No. replied the other, 'but get up
as soon MS you can
yes, replied DANES, but Won
might fell inc the moment | put nv
body out of the blankets
No., replied the other, Il pledge
you my word not to touch you till YOU
are out of bed
You won't. Upon your honor?
Upon my honor
THAT is enough said Daincs. turn.
ing over and making himself comfort.
able, and seeming as though he meant
to tall asleep, Il have all the honor of
an Irish gentleman, and may rest as
though were under the castle guard.
The Tippcrary salamander locked
marvelousIy nstonished at the pretend.
ed sleeper, but soon DANES began TO
snore.
'Halloa !! says Mr.. Foley, aren't
you ago'ng to get up?
No. said DANES, 4 have the word
OF an Irish gentleman that he will not
strike inc in bed and | am sure am
not going to get up to have my bones
broken. l will never get up again.
in the meantime Mr.. Foley, if YOU
want your breakfast, ring the bell
the best in the house is at yourscryice.'
The morning paper will be here pres.
emily, and be sure and air it before
reading for there is nothing from
winch man so quickly catches cold
as rcadinga a damp journal, and DANES
affected TO 60 to sleep.
The Tipperury man had fun Ms we'll
as ferocity, but he could not resist the
cunning OF the counsel. Get up Mr..
harrington, for in bed or out Of bed. T
have not the pluck to hurt SO droll O.
heart"
The result was that in less thar nm
hour afterwards DANES and his intend.
ed murderer were sitting down to n
warm breakfast, the latter only intent
upon assaulting dish of smoking
chops.
a Dutchman being asked how often
he shaved, replied, "Drce dimes week
cf'ery tay put Shoontay, den | shayes
efl'ery tay,"