Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1859-12-01
Fourth Of July Grafton.

ration, furnished to the C.eyelant
| Plaindealer, by .Artemas Ward,
the quaint Western humorist, viii b.
read with merrimeni:
"SURs: | send herewith a synop.
sis Of the skedy ule of my orashun on
the 4th of July, at WetSefsIield.-
Pleas korrect The speIlin' and punk.
tooate it in proper stiIe. / spoke 2
hours, & was So minis passin givin
pint. There was between two hum
dred persons present, who With open
mouthes and closed eyes listened TO
me with striek attenshun. a. W."
The oration itself is perfect
gem, and one of the best things AR
temas has yet gotten off. We sub.
join an extract or two. After the
the usual apostrCphe to the Goddess
Of Liberty, he SAYS:
81 haint time to notis the growth
OF Ameriky from the time when the
May flower cum over in the Pilgrim
and browt Plymouth Rock With
them, but every skool boy nose our
kareer has been tremeIjis You
will excuse me if I don't praise the
the erly settlers Of .he Kolo ries.-
People which hung i1iotic CID women
fur witches. burat holes in Quakers'
tongues; and consigned their feller-
critters to the tredmiIl and pillery on
the slightest provokaslur, may have
been very nice folks iu their way, but
| must confess ! don, admire their
siile, and will drop them all | spOse
they ment well. and as in the novel
and techin langwidge of the nuspa-
| pers, "peas be to theirashis," Thare
WAS no diskount, however, on them
brave men who fit. bled>and died in
the American Revolusbun. We
needn't be afraid Of settin them too
steep. Like my Show they will
stand a heep Of prase.
Il see much to admire in New En-
gland. Your gals in particular are
abowt as snug bilt pieces Of Caliker
as ever saw. They are fully equal
to the corn fed gals of Ohio aud IN
jianny and win make the bestest
kind of wives. 1t SETS my Buzzum
on fire to look at 'em.
Be still, my sole, be still,
9 you, Hart stop cuttin' upi
Which afftciin lines is either from
the pen Of Governor Morril, of Milne,
or Doctor Watts, and | disremember
which. / like your Skool houses,
your meetiu houses. your enterprise.
gnmpshun, &c. but your iavorite bev-
rige Idespise. | allude 10 New En-
cllnd Rum; it is wus nor the kind Of
whisky in lpjianDy,H ,Hbicheats through
stone Jugs aud will turn the stomach
Of the most shiltlis hog.
81 seldom seek consolashun in
the flowing Boie, but the other day
| wurried dowu sum of your Rum.
The fusl glass induced me to swear
like an inlooriated trooper On ta-
King the seckund glass / WAS seized
with dt sire 20 LTske windows, and
after imbibin the third glass ! knock
l9d little boy down. pickt his pock-
ct Of ANEW York Ledger, and Wild
I " commented readin Of Sylvanrs
Keebs list Tail. Iveliiy do believe
that if I'd bisted ia another glass
/ / should have been desperit enough
to attack the Mount Vernon Papers
| ..Its dredful stuff sort Of lick
wild litenin got up under the person
al supervision Of the devil--tears
mems inards all to peaces, and makes
their noses blossom as the Lobster.
Shun it as you wood wild hyenDy
with a Gre brand tied to his tale, Il
while ) OH are about it you will do
fast rate thing fur yerself and eye-
| ry body about you by stunning eye-
ry kind OF intoxicatin lickers. You
don't neel 'em DO more n a cat needs
2 :ales, sayin nothin abowt the trou
bic and sulieriu they cawse. But
unless iuards are cast iron avoid
New England's favorite Rum.
-"My friends 1me dan. Gear my.
self away from you with tears in my
eyes and a pleasant odor Of Onyuns
abowt my close. In the language OF
| Of Mister Catterll6e'to The lsumuus,
Igo but perhaps ] shall cum back
agiu. Adoo. people Of Wethersfield.
Be yirtuous & yoo'l be happy.