The Grand Haven news. [volume] (Grand Haven, Mich.) 1858-18??, 1859-07-27
SPICY CORRESPONDENCE.

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We are assured by friend who is per-
soualIy cognizant of what he states, that
the following piquant correspondence is
genuine A gentleman, whose business
calls him n good deal from home, is ac-
customed to give the custody of his cor
respondence to his wife, an intelligent la
dy, who, in obedience 10 Instructions,
opens all letters that come in her hus-
bands absence; answers such of them as
she can, like a confidential clerk, and for
wards the rest 10 her liege lord, at such
places as he may have designated at his
departure. During a recent absence of
her husband the lady received letter, of
which the following (omitting names,
dates and places is true copy:
"My Dear Sir--I saw n fine picture Of
you yesterday and fell in love with it, as
I did with the original in W, last
winter, when | saw you more than an
hour, though | suppose you did not see
me among SO many. | fear you will
think me forward in thus addressing you !;
but | trust you are as noble and unsus-
pecting as you are handsome and brilliant.
Perhaps you would like TO know some
thing about me-your ardent admirer J
Well, am not very good at description,
but will say | am not married-(tho
you are, am told). Ny friends tell Inc
have not a pretty face, but only good
figure / am rather petite, have black
hair, and n dark complexiou--that is, l
am what is called brunette"
/" L am stopping for few weeks with
my brother-in-law and sister in this town,
and deaEyswish You would meet me
there before return to W.. AT any
rate do not. fail to write me at least few
words TO tell me whether shall ever see
you again, and know you more intimately.
Forgive my boldncss and believe me,
"Your friend, -"
To this letter the vile, who,. by the bye,
has not the least knowledge of the per-
son TO whom she was writing, made the
following answer:
Madamoiselle: Your letter of the
= addressed to Mr.. -, was duly re-
ceived. Mr.. -, who is my husband,
directed me when he left home, some days
ago, to open all his letters, and to answer
any of them that conveniently could.
As you seem to be rather impatient, /
will answer your letter myself. | do not
think your description fyourselfwill please
Mr.. -. | happen to know that he
dislikes black eyes, and hates brunetLes
most decidedly. 1t is quite true, as you
seem to suppose, that he judges of wo-
men as he does Of horses; but do not
think your inventory OF your "points" is
complete enough to be satisfactory to
him, You omit TO mention your height,
weight, wind, speed, and there the word
is illegible.) Taking your charms at
your own estimate, doubt whether they
will prove sufficiently attractive to draw
him so far rs B merely for the sake
of comparing them with the schedule.
You say you trust my husband is Gun
suspecting" think that is his nature,
but yet he is used to drawing inferences,
which are sometimes as unkind as suspi-
cious. You say you are unmarried. My
advice to you is that you marry some
body, as soon as possible. In most cases,
) would not recommend haste, but in
yours, / am convinced there is truth in
the proverb which speaks of the danger
of delay. Should you be so fortunate as
to get husband (Which may God merci-
fully grant } my opinion is that you will
consider any woman, who should write
him such letter as this of yours, imper
tinent and, perhaps, immodest.
81 will deliver your note to Mr. -
when he returns, and also a copy cf my
reply which l am sure he will approve
| am, with as much respect as you per
nit "Mrs. -.h
This was the end Of the correspondence
MoRAL--Young ladies who write af
fectionate letters to married men, should
! be careful that the precious missives d,
: not fall into the hands of their spouses
4 or the amorous writers may chance to ge
more cuffs thnn kisses"
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: Show us an intelligent family Of boy
and girls, and we shall show you tamil
where newspapers and periodicals are plen
ififuI Nohodv who haa hoon ,r;,l -.