The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1859-08-10
SfListelLaneous.
The professor" ON Phrenology.

II Sh0t Lecture on I>1TeR0tOqg, fedG 10
tie BoorderS at oar BREAKFAST I'aJle.
l shall begin, my friends, with the def
milton Of n PSeudo-science. A Pseudo
science consists of a nomenclature, with
a self-adjusting arrangement, by which all
positive evidence, or such as favors its
doctrines, is admitted, and all negative
evidence, or such as tells against it, is ex-
Guided. 1t is invariably connected with
some lucrative practical application. Its
professors and practitioners are usually
shrewd people; they are very serious
with the public, but wink and laugh a
good deal among themselves. The be-
lieying multitude consists Of women OF
both sexes, feeble-minded inquirers, po-
etieal optimists, people who always get
cheated in buying horses, philanthropists
who insist on hurrying up the millennium,
and others Of this class, with here and
there clergyman, less frequently a law
yer, very rarely physician, and almost
never horse-jockey or a member of the
detective police.-I did not say that Phre-
nology was one of the Pseudo sciences.
A Pseudo-science docs not necessarily
consist wholly of lies. 1t may contain
many truths, and oven valuable ones.
The rottenest bank starts with a little
specie. 1t puts out thousand promises
to pay on the strength of a single dollar,
but the dolla, is very commonly a good
one. The practitioners Of the Pseudo
sciences know that common minds, after
they have been baited with a real fact or
two, will jump at the merest rag of lie,
or even the bare hook. When we have
one fact found us, we are very apt to
supply the next out of our own magma
ton. (How many persons can read
Judges Ky. Is correctly the first time y
The Pseudo-sciences take advantage of
this.--I did not say that it was SO with
Phrenology.
| have rarely met q sensible man who
would not allow that there was something
in Phronology. a broad, high forehead
it is commonly agreed, promises intellect;
one that is 'viIianous low and has u
huge hind head back Of it, is wont to
mark the animal nature, have as rarely
met an unbiased and sensible man who
really believed in the bumps. 1t is OBJ
served, however, that persons with what
the Psychologists call good heads" arc
more prone than others toward plenary
belief in the doctrine.
1t is SO hard to prove negative, that,
if a man SHOULD assert that the moon was
in truth green cheese, formed by the
coagulate substance of the Milky Way,
and challenge me to prove the contrary,
| might be puzzled. But if he offer to
sell Inc a ton Of this lunar cheese, | call
on him to prove the truth Of the Gaseous
nature of our satellite, before purchase.
1t is not necessary to prove the talslty
of the chronological statement 1t is on
ly necessary to show that its truth is not
proved, and cannot be, by the common
course of argument. The walls OF the
head are double, with great air-cham-
Der between them, over the smallest and
most closely crowded ''organs." Can you
tell how much money there is in safe,
which also has thick double walls, by
kneading its knobs with your fingers!
So when man fllmbles about my fore
head, and talks about the organs of In
davidsality, Size, ETC., trust him as
much as should if he felt of the outside
of my strong and told me that there
was a fiye-dolIar or q ten-doiar-bill un-
der this or that particular rlvet. Per
haps there is; only he doesn't know any
thing about 1t. But this is point that |,
the Professor, understand, my friends, or
ought to, certainly, better than you do.
The next argument you will all apprecI-
ate.
proceed, therefore, to explain the
self-adiusting mechanism of Phronology'
which is very similar to that OF the Pseu-
do-sciences. An example will show II
most conveniently.
A. is notorious thief. Messrs. Bum
nrs and Crane examine him and find a
oood-sized organ Of Acquisitlveness. Pos-
tive fact for Phrenology. Casts and draw
mos of A. are multiplied, and the bump
does not lose in the act of copylng.--l
did not say it gained.-What do you look
90 forg Ito the boarders.)
Presently 3. turns up . Digger 'hi'i
than A. But B. has no bump at all over
..n;s;t;yeness. Negative fact; goes