Staunton vindicator and general advertiser. (Staunton, Augusta County, Va.) 1858-1860, 1859-08-12
4 List OF Wonders.

within the last few years, are the following
compiled in an abstract from the Patent Of
Zee Report. Read them over, and then say
if YOU can. that there is nothing new under
the sun:
The report explains the principle Of the
celebrated Hobb lock. Its applicability de-
ponds upon a secondary or false set of tum-
blers, which prevent instruments used in
picking, from reaching the real ones More
over, the lock is powder proof, and may be
loaded through the key hole and fred off till
the burglar IS tired Of his fruitless work, or
fears that the explosions will bring to view
his experiments, more witnesses than he de-
sires
Doors and shutters have been patented
that cannot be broken through with either
pick or sledge-hammer. The burglars 'oc-
cupation's gone
A harpoon is described which makes the
whale kill himself. The more he pulls the
line, the deeper goes the harpoon.
An ice making machine has been patent
ed which is worked by steam engine. In
an experimental trial, it froze several bottles
of sherry, aud produced blocks Of ice the
size Of cubic foot, when the thermometer
was up to eighty degrees. It is calculated
that for every ton Of coal put into the fur
mace, it will make ton Of ice.
From Mr.. Dale's examiner report, we
gather some idea of the value Of patents. A
man who had made a slight improvement in
straw cutters, took model Of his machine
through the Western States, and after a tour
of eight months, returned with forty thou
sand dollars. Another man had machine
to thrash and clean grain, which in fifteen
months he sold for sixty thousand dollars
These are ordinary cases-while such inyen-
tons as the telegraph, the planning machine
and India rubber patents, are worth millions
each.
Examiner Lanes report describes new
electrical inventions. Among these is an
electrical whaling apparatus, by which the
whale is literally shocked to death An
other is an electromagnetic alarm, which
rings bells and displays signals in case of
fire and burglars. Another is an electric
clock, which wakes you up, tells you what
time it is, and lights lamp for you at any
hour you please.
There is sound gatherer, sort ofhuge
ear trumpet, to be placed in front Of loca-
motive, bringing to the engineers ears all
the noise ahead; perfectly distinct. notwith-
standing the noise Of the train.
There is an invention that picks up pins
from confused heap, turns them around
with their heads up, and sticks them in pa
pers in regular rows.
Another goes through the whole process
Of cigar making, taking in leaves and turn
ing out finished cigars.
One machine cuts cheese; another scours
knives and forks, another rocks the cradle;
and seven or eight takes in washing or iron
ing.
There is parlor chair patented that can
not be tipped back on two legs, and rail-
way chair that can be tipped back in any
position without any legs at all.
Another patent is for machine that
counts passengers in an omnibus and takes
their fares. When very fat gentleman gets
in, it counts two and charges double.
There are variety Of guns patented that
load themselves; a fishing line that adjusts
its own bait, and rat trap that throws away
the rat, and then bats itself and stands in
the corner for another.
There is machine also, by which man
prints, instead of writes, his thoughts It
is played like a piano-forte. And speaking
of pianos, it is estimated that nine thousand
are made every year in the United States,
giving constant employment to one thou
sand nine hundred persons, and costing over
two millions Of dollars.
LoAFERs IN A PR Nr1Na OFF1cE.-The
composing room of printing Office is not
the place to tell long stories, or argue points
in metaphysics. A printing office is like
school; it can have no interlopers, hangers
on, or twaddlers, without serious incon-
vcnience, to say nothing Of loss Of time,
which is just good as gold to the printer.
What should be thought Of man who would
enter a school and twaddle first with the
teacher and then with the scholars-inter-
rupting the discipline Of one and the stud
les Of the other? And yet this is the pre-
else effect of the loafers with the course Of
Observation-Disclosures the great attention which
is necessary to the good printer. No gen.
tleman will ever enter it and presume to act
the loafer. He will feel above it, for no
real man sacrifices the interests or interferes
with the duties Of Others The loafer does
both. Let him think, if he never has, that
the last place he should ever insinuate his
worthless and unwelcome presence is in the
printing Office.
w Joseph was bad boy. He had
succeeded in binding his mother for some
time as to his imbibing propensities. One
night Joseph came in before the old lady
had retired. He sat down, and with look
Of semi-intoxicated wisdom, began CONVEX
sing about the goodness Of the crops and
other matters. He got along very well
until he espied what he supposed to be a
cigar on the mantlepiece he caught it up,
and, placing one end in his mouth, began
very gravely to light it at the candle. He
drew and pulled until he was getting red
in the face. The old lady's eyes were O.
pened. and she addressed him IF thee
takes that tenpenny nail for Cigar, it il
time thee went to bed"
EF A Lawer, who was sometimes for.
getful, having been engaged to plead the
cause of an offender, began by saving, 81
know the prisoner at the bar, and he bears
the character of being consummate and
most impudent scoundrelv Here somebody
whispered to him that the prisoner was his
client, when he Immediately continued Blu
| ,rLo4 o.oo+ opd O0nd man avar 1iyod wh,