Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1859-05-21
COULDN'T FIND 1T OUT.

MIR. SLocuM was not educated in a universi-
ty, and his life has been in by paths and out-of-
the way places. His mind is characterized by
the literalness rather than the comprehensive
grasp of great subjects. Mr.. Slocum can, how
ever, master a printed paragraph by dint of
spelling the hard words in deliberate manner,
and manages to gain few glmpses of men and
things from his little rocky farm, through the
medium of village newspaper. 1t is quite ed
flying to hear Mr.. Socum reading the village
paper aloud to his wife after hard days work.
A few evenings since, farmer Slocum was read
ing an account of dreadful accident which
had happened at the factory in the next town,
and which the village editor had described in
great many words.
al declare, wife, that was an awful accident
over to the mills said Mr.. Socum.
"What was it about, Mr.. Slccum?"
"Ill read the count wife, then you'll know NIL
about it."
Mr.. began to read:
Horrible and Fatal Accident.-lt becomes
our melancholy and painful duty to record the
particulars of an accident that occurred at the
lower mill in this village, yesterday afternoon,
by which human being in the prime of life
was hurried to that bourne from which, as the
immortal Shakespeare says mo traveller returns
{" DO tell exclaimed Mrs. 81 Mr.. David
Jones workman who has few superiors this
side of the city, was experimenting one of the
large drums, ("I wonder if twas bass drum,
such as has 'Epluribust Unum' printed ont"
said Mrs Slocum,) when he became 'entanged.
His arm was drawn around the drum, and final
ly his whole body was drawn over the shaft at
a fearful rate. When his situation was discov-
cred, he had revolved with immense velocity
about fifteen minutes, his head and limbs strik-
ing a large beam distinct blow at each revolu-
ton. {" Poor cretur, how it must have hurt
hm"D When the machinery had been stopped,
it was found that Mr.. Jones arms and legs were
macerated to jelly; C'Well, didn't it kill him?,
asked Mrs. S., with interest;') portions of the
duramater, cerebrum and cerebellum, in confus-
ed Masses were scattered about the foor-in
short, the gates of eternity bad opened upon
him.
Here Mr.. Slocum paused to wipe his specta-
cles, and, the wife seized tie opportunity 'to
press the question.
"Was the man killed."
81 don't know-haven't come to that place
yet-you'll know when I've finished the piece"
And Mr.. Slocum continued reading.
1t was evident when the shapeless form was
taken down th' was it no longer tenanted by
the immortal spirit-that the vital spark was ex-
tinct.
"Was the man killed; that's what l want to
come at ?" said Mrs. Slocum.
"Do have little patience. old woman" said
Mr.. Slocum eyeing his better half over his spec
tacles, 81 presume we shall come upon it right
away" And he went on reading. This fatal
casualty has cast a gloom over our village, and
we trust that it will prove warning to all per-
sons who are called upon to regulate the power
full machinery of our mills.
"Now," said Mrs Slocum, perceiving the
narration was ended, "now l should like to
know whether that man was killed or notP"
Mr.. Slocum looked puzzled. He scratched his
head, scrutinized the article he had been peru
sing, and took graceful survey of the paper.
81 declare, wife, said he, " it's curious, but
really the paper don't say