The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1859-08-17
An Old story In q New Dress.
By d. F. pIyEfE.

L
had been trying for twenty years to create
what is called - fuss in the family" be-
tween these old companions. But much
to his modification, he had not been
able to induce the old gentleman to-
grumble about breakfast being late, once,
or the old lady to give single curtain lee
ture. After repeated efforts the Devil be.
came discouraged, and had he not been
parson Of great determination, he would
doubtless have given up the work in des-
pair. One day ss he was walking along,
in surly mood, after another attempt to
get the old lady to quarrel about the pigs
getting into the yard, be met an old
woman, near neighbor of the aged cou-
pie. As Mr.. Devil and the neighbor were
very particular friends, they must needs stop
on the way to chat little.
''Good morning sir" said she, land pray
what on Garth makes you look so badly this
beautiful morning; isn't the controversy
between the churches doing good service
yeti"
"Yes"
"Isn't Deacon w. making plenty Of bad
whiskye" - ~.-s- -.f +,'
"Yes" .a.-.-,,-
"Well, what is the matter, my highly
honored master?'
Everything else is going on well enough
replied the Devil; "but," and here he look
ed IS sour as monkey on . crab-apple
tree, "old Blueford and his wife are injur-
ing the cause terribly, by their bad exam
pie, and after trying for years to inducs
them to do better, must say l consider
them hopeless" -.
The old hag stood for moment in deep
thought. "Are you sure that you have
tried every way?''
Every one can think Of"
"Are you certain? ?" --s
"Yes.,' -....a .,r ..s.5
"Well," replied she, Ii you will promise
to make me present of a new pair Of
shoes, in case succeed, will make the at
tempt myself, and see if can't raise
quarrel between them"
To this unreasonable request the Devil
gladly asscnted. The old hag went her
way to neighbor Blueford's house, and
found old Mrs. Blueford very busily engag-
ed in getting things ready for her hus-
bands comfort on his return from work.
After the usual compliments had passed,
the following dialogue took place -
"Well, friend B. you aud Mr.. B. have
lived a long time together"
"Five and twenty years, come next No
vember," replied Mrs. B. ....s.s+
"And in all that time you have never had
the least quarrel"
"NOt one"N
II am truly glad to hear it." continued
the hag; 81 consider it my duty to warn
you, though this is the case, vet you must
not expect it will be so always. Have you
not observed that of late, Mr.. B. has grown
peevish and sullcn at times
"A very little So" observed Mrs. Blue
ford.
"Iknow it." continued the hag, land let
NE warn you in time to be on your guard"
Mrs. B. did think she had better do SO,
and asked advice, as to how she ought to
manage the case. ....
"Have you not noticed" said the hag,
; ''that your husband has bunch of long,
coarse hair growing on mole, under his
chin, on the side of his throat?'
"Yes." . ri
These are the causes of the trouble, and
. IS long as they remain you had better look
out. Nov, as a friend, advise you to cut
them all the first time you geta chance, and
, thus end the trouble"
Soon after that, the hag started for homo
and made it convenient to meet Mr. B. on
the way. Much the same talk in relation
10 his domestic happiness, passed between
him and the old woman.
"But, friend Blueford,' said she, l think
it my duty as christian. to warn you to be
on your guard, for tell you that your wife
intends your ruin"
Old Mr.. B. was very much astonished vet
he could not wholly discredit her words. -
When he reached home he threw himself
: upon a bed with great perplexity, and
,, feigning sleep, studied over the matter in
: his own mind. His wife thinking this a
good opportunity for cutting off the OBJ
. noxious hair, took her husbands razor and
crept softly to his side. Now the old lady
was very much heightened at holding a
razor so close to her husbands neck, and
her hand was not so steady as it once was
SO between the two, she went to work very
awkwardly and pulled the hairs instead OF
8 cutting them off. Mr.. B. opened his eyes
I and there stood his wife with razor at his
5 throat! After what had been told him,
3 and seeing this, he could not doubt that
: she intended to murder him. He sprang
from his bed in horror, and no explanation
. or entreaty could convince him to the con-
a trary. So from this time forth, there was
. nc more peace for that house. It was Jaw,
J. jaw, quarrels and wrangling all the time
: With delight the Devil heard Of the sue
+ cess of the faithful emissary, and sent her
4 word that if she would meet him at the
foot of the lawn, at certain time, he
would pay her the shoes.
!: At the appointed time, she repaired to
= the spot and found the Devil at his place
He put the shoes on the end of long pole
q and standing on the opposite side Of the
fence, handed them over to her.. She was
very much pleased with them, they were
. exactly the article.
'But there is one thing, Mr.. Devil, that
; would like to have explained. That is why
. you hand them to me OH that stick?'
"Very easy to explain" replied he, "any
one who has the cunning and meanness to
do as you have done, don't get nearer than
, twenty feet of me!' So saying he fed in
terror.
After while the old woman died and
a when she applied for admittance to the low
] er regions, the Devil would not let her in,
: for fear she might dethrone him, as she wal
!, SO much his superior. So the old woman
! is yet compelled to wander over the world
: creating q,arrels and strife in peaceful fam
: lilies and neighborhoods.
Would you know her name?
I tits Madame Scandal When she died
l her children, the young Scandalizers, wer,
I left orphans, but the Devil, in considers
t ton Of past services done by the mother
adopted them, and so you see he is th.
father Of that respectable class called Scan
. dal-mongers.
a IL An exchange paper gives the follow,
S ing affecting scene from Z Sickles' drama:
Indignant husband to wife's lover
n "Seoundrcl, you have dishonored me and
|. vnuct die ~ MAkea v1ysh him with 1