The Kenosha telegraph and tribune. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1859-1860, 1859-12-29
WIT AND WISDOM.

Health constitutes the happiness of the body
virtue that of the mind.
There is no lock in the world that reouire
such careful picking as wed-lock.
Few pity us for our misfortunes; thousand
hate us for our success.
What am maid for ?" as the young cir
said who was impatient to get married
why are Cashmereishawls like deaf persons
because we cannot make them here,
Why is the grass on which the COW feeds
older than yourself because it is past. ur ape
The man who got the last word in disputino
with woman, has advertised to whistle for !,
wager against locomotive.
1t is currently reported in Paris that botI
the Empress Eugene and Princess Clotilde arc
in state called interesting
"A down east editor advises his readers !;
eney"lsh to get tee tn inserted gratis, to steal
i'ui' where his dog is guard.
-'Done on my own hook" is now ,erderod
executed the responsibility on my own person.
al curve" F''-'
-out est the law gives damages for appa-
rent preach OF promise. The bachelors. bowav.
en- ooVlate the difficulty by having their cards
labelled, Good for this call only"
1t dogs tail is cut off entirely. will it not
interfere with his locomotion p" "Not exactly =.
1t will not affect his carriage but il will; oton bic
wagging." ,..s. -. -''
ne youngs woman to whom Gen. Tom
numb has pledged his heart and hand is lust
iorty two inches in height. They will proba-
Oily call their first born Little FINGER
"A Convention of Bloomer damsels is repor-
teu to have resolved that they will wear short
dresses or nothing. What an awful tbino Il wo,d
oe IL they shouldn't wear the short dresses
IF there is anybody under the canister Of
heaven that hate in utter excrescence, saws
Mrs harrington. sit is the SANDER going about
ike boy constructor, circulating his calomel
upon honest folks.'
"A dying West India planter, groaned to his
iaVonte servant, sighed out, "Ah Sambo, am
going on long, long, journey" Never mind
massa'" said the negro consolingly, .'it am all de-
,cGy d0tcn hill" ....
Six feet in his boots ~ exclaimed old Mrs
beeswax. what will the impertinance of this
world come to- l wonder7" Why, they might
Just as reasonably tell me that the man had six
heads in his hat"
-"Landlord," said pedagopue somewhat
7Neh To strong llbatlons, 81 would like guam.
tum OF spirits, modicum of molasses, in coniunc.
Ion with little water-but deal largely with
spirits, thou man of mixtures
:" ashlngton Irving was never married. An
early disappointment preyed upon his over SEN
'ltlVe nature, and caused him to remain to the
hour of his death unwedded. He was not. how.
ever, churl. He loved and respected woman
with sincere and holy devotion that is manifest
in all his writings
Deeds are greater than words. Deeds have
such lie, mute, but undeniable, and grow as
living trees and fruit trees do; they people the
vacuity of time, and make it green and worthy
Why should the oak prove logically that it ought
to grow and will grow Plant it ; try what
gifts Of diligent, judicious assimilation and Sc.
erection it has of progress and resistance its
force to grow, will then declare themselves
Carlyle
"A man being awakened by the captain of
boat with the announcement that he must not
occupy his berth with his boots on, very consid.
erately replied:
20, the bugs wont hurt em I guess they are
an old pair
Mr.. Thompson presents his compliments to
Mr. Simpson, and begs to request that he will
keep his piggs from trespassing on his grounds.
"Mr. Simpson, presents his compliments to
Mr.. Thompson, and begs to suggest that, in fu-
ture, he will not spell pigs with two gees''
"Mr. Thompson's respects to Mr.. Simpson,
and will feel obliged if he add the letter Z to
the last word in the note just received SO as to
represent Mr.. Simpson and lady"
"Mr. Simpson returns Mr.. Thompsons let
ter Snopsned-the impertinence it contains be.
ing only equaled by its vulgarity."