The weekly Ottumwa courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1857-1872, 1859-09-15
Aunt KeZiah Small visits the
.. State Fair. ....
BY CLARA AUGUSTA.


'sDid you ever go to fair 4? No? Well
now that's curis. Most everybody goes,
some time or other, and each one, when he
gifts back, has more to tell than anybody
that's been afore him. Strange how every
body alters sees the most Now there's Tom
Salter's wife-she knows more than the cor
iginal Injuns, and the President, and all his
bobinet. You'd think Sockratatus hisself
had come on and made we visit. You can't
mention a single thing on this spear but she's
hurd of it, and knows every little particular.
She can tell you all the ferlosophy of the At
lantic paragraph, and the whole 'casion of the
things not talking as they expected twould.
"Jest name the bible to her. and land sake
Moses hissclf would be struck with the Span
ish mildew to hear her exploterate! Clean
from Geneseret to Revolutions she knows the
entire story. Parson Grirnshaw can't hold a
candle to her. She uses the biggest words,
to, that ever anybody thought Of, you ought
to have dictator rite in your pocket to un-
derstand her. l was in there the other day,
and l declare if I could keep from laffin' rite
in her face to hear her talk to her children.
"'Washington Napoleon sez she, 'distin-
guish that fire Immediately. 1t is too reccs-
sively warm, with the mercury at ninety d.
gifts, to remit of blaze in the CRATER. Syrena
Jennie, lie that book on the side, and go and
inform your pa that the MONDAY repast is
on the board. Mrs. Small, do remove your
bonnet and shawl, and dinner with u.s.
:" Thank you,' sez I, I've dinnered.'
cts not only one day, but she's jest so
high-fown all the time; and poor Salter looks
as if he'd been drawed through a knot hole
Last fall the agriculturals had fair to Dover,
and Mrs. Salter determined to 60. She sent
Washington over to know if wouldn't COM
pany her. I called Ichabod in and asked
him if he'd go with us to sq,lart US; for, We
see, Mrs. Salter said, only the day afore, that
it wasn't prosperous for any unpurtected wo-
man to go anywhere without biped of the
Il
she meant by that, and she said a man. To
tell you the truth, thought she meant bag
of hominy. Salter's folks are great hands
for it, and didn't know but she thought
anybody'd ought to kerry some with 'em all
the time. II"
"Wall, Ichabod said he didn't know but
he'd go; would if he thought he could git the
barn took keer Of time enutf to go to the
kears. After awhile he said he would go
anyhow, and sent word back to Mrs. Sal
ter that I'd meet her the next day at the
dyepot
"The 'pinted day cum-jjest as fair and
handsome one as ever you seed. Twas in
October; and if was poet could tell you
sight about the gold skies, and emerel grass,
and the campfire clouds; but as amt I'd
better let it alone. Mrs. Salter was fixed up
the moster. She's a powerful critter for
dress, and sho fairly expelled herself this
time. Sich rainbow as she was-all fur
bellows and fummadiddles / felt kinder
mean beside her, and with my gray gown
and my green sun-bunnet. Ichabod he was
spunked up in his go-to-meetingables gray
trowserloons, black coat and red velvet waist
coat He paratfed us into the kears, and
give our tickets to the productor Ichabod
is tight after Miss Salter's Syrena, but he
shan't have her if can helpit. don't want
darter Of mine to do nothin' but read nov
els and drink hop beer. Syrena's up to that
the hull time. 's
"Ichabod, the ongrateful boy, paid as
much ag'in 'tention to Mrs. Salter as he did
to me, tryin' to git her good will, We see.-
He helped her on with her shawl, and kerried
her snatchel-bag for her, as easy and keerfuI
as lift had been hens nest. There was an
orful jam in the kears-everybody was rush
in to git the best place. A rcd-headed man
with big bosom-pin in his shirt, got his Ell,
bow shot rite through winder, and got my
gown ripped half a yard, by poke from
an old woman's ambireller. I give her a
knock to pay for it, and sent her bo,Incin'
rite into the face and eyes of old DR.. Prstt.
The doctors specks was all stove to smash,
and one of the womaa's crinnerlines run
clean through the top of his stove pipe hat.
l thought he said, "Tarnation take the wo-
menr' but he vowed he didn't; it was, 'Ac-
cidents will happeu,' he pertended. The doc
tors perlite pairson, and don't want toput
nobody out
1--WE rived all safe at Dover, and Ichabod
went off to git a kerredge to kercy us up to
where the fair was. 1t was as much as three
mile, and he said it was too far for any fe-
male woman to travel afoot. Mrs. Salter
told him to be shure and git a stylish estab-
lishment, and charged him to ask if the
horses was stiddy. I'm kinder 'fraii Of
horses. .s..
'Byme-bye he got back, and SpIendcrif.
crous consarn he'd got for us to ride in.
can tell yoi. 1t was nothn' on airth but an
old soap-cart, with boards laid cross the top
to set on. amt materially stuck up, but
did feel kinder shecpish ridin' in that soap
cart. Mrs. Salter felt so decoiposed that
she drawed her ve,l and shut up her eyes
We got to the fair arter awhile, and Ichabod
o~I tho Ir.,,a~ bsctal ,, n,,t ,f {l,, ,o,.k