Muscatine weekly journal. [volume] (Muscatine, Iowa) 185?-1890, 1859-01-14


The dear friend who shared with me
the knowledge of Aggy's confession
also lies beneath the 'clods of the val
ley
Hoping that it may serve as warn-
ing to some who may read it, give
this history to the world.
THE LAWS OF MARRIAaE.-The fol-
lowing article contains some excellent
advice for those who have not yet en-
tered into matrimonial bonds:
"One Of the greatest questions that is
at present forcing itself upou the con-
sideration of the age is that Of whom
we shall marry, and, supplementary to
it, what shall work a dissolution of
the marriage bond? These great ques-
tions have for years, with all the subtle
analysis that mark our times, received
profound attention from the physiolo-
gist on the one hand and the psycholo-
gist on the other. I wish in this arti-
Gle to give review of the opinions adj
vanced on each side.
The prevalent psychological belief
on this subject has found its expression
in the pages of novelists. 1t is that
marriage should be the result of an
over mastering, usually blind senti-
ment, technically known as romantic
love- That such sentiment as this
does exist in the range of human feel
ings, in other words is splendid real
ity, no man conversant with human ma
ture can presume to deny.
This sentiment is before marriage,
much more general among women than
among men. Among maidens it is the
rule; among unmarried men it is the
exception. Among the hundreds OF
unmarried men whom I have known
and who have made high minded and
satisfactory husbands, it would be an
extravaganza estimate to say that twenty
per cent. of them have felt a passion
of love anterior to marriage such as a
maiden feels or novels teach. And l
know that if most men were to delay
marriage until they realized the feelings
Of Romeo or an Eldon they would new
er attain to that only bliss that sur
vived the fall Here, then, is a large
class of men eminently fitted to be the
heads of happy homes, who, if they
would fulfil the relations for which ma
ture designed them, must be led into
marriage by another guide than love
thus understood. The guide is easily
designated-it is preference based on
the exercise Of sober judgment.
In the case of romantic love we are
liable to many mistakes. / have known
strong natured man to love timid,
shrinking girl as father would love a
child. He married for love and mar.
ried honestly. But when the hour came
that he needed in his wife a companion,
consolation, he found that as a guide
to marriage his passion had proved a
mistaken ore. On the other hand a
man may love a woman from gratitude
almost as she would love guardian
marry for love in honesty, and yet
awaken to the most bitter regret. In
deed, the fact is but too we'll establish
ed that many marriage beginning in
love as deep and as full as ever depict
ed by Scott or Goethe, has resulted in
disappointmentSand wretchedness. |
speak from actual observation. For
reasons like these, should say the on
ly safe rule for marriage, in any case,
is preference founded on judgment,
even if the sacrifice Of loves young
dream be to the cutting off the right
hand the 'plucking out of the right
eye
In the sermon on the Mount I find a
rule with regard to marriage. take
human beings love, his life, his mag
nifcent domestic possibilities to be his
pearls, if anything can merit that des-
ignation. We are told not to cast oul
pearls before swine. II |, therefore
an earnest man in politics, religion, OF
social regeneration, bestow soul, thus
devoted, upon a woman whose beauty
or accomplishments have fascinated me
but who is thoroughly indifferent to my
field Of duty, I have a substantial guar
antee of wretched life. Do not mis-
understand me. A man does not wan
wife who can grasp and execute lik'
himself. But he does want one who
can appreciate and sympathise. In thu
minor matters Of taste, habits, ant
manners, Judgment must, Of course
be used, and | have sufficiently indica
ted the sphere Of its action. l mus
here introduce caution against rein
ing on this point to an excess. Perfec
unison can be looked for nowhere, fac
that should be allowed its proper weigh
and bearing in the subject before us
If what have said already be true
it is evident that marriage should new
err take place till the parties have learn
ed somewhat of the realities Of life, ant
their views Of its duties are we'll dehn
ed. The man or woman who marrie
without having had any earnest fore
thought, runs great risk. In the year
to come there may be growing ant
continued divergence. Another ineyita
BILE corollary is that marriage shoul'
never follow short or superficial &C
quaintance. Marry in haste to repen
at LEISURE be it the wit of whom it may
is undoubtedly the dearly-bought wis
dom Of many.
In conve! sation with Boswell, l be
lieve, his sound Drained old frient