The Kenosha telegraph and tribune. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1859-1860, 1859-08-25
B R H WITH E s

The ugliest and most mischievous Miss we
ever knew was Miss Government.
NAN is most properly said to be ripe for
anything when he is little mellow.
FIRE is like pretty woman-neglect in
the least and your reliance upon it is goLe.
! Why does sailor know that there is a man
| in the moon? Ans.-Because he's been to sea,
WHY is young lady like bill of exchanged
Because she ought to be "settled = when she
arrives a. maturity
A CHAPLAIN at State prison was asked by
friend how his Pensioners were. &c ALI under
conviction" was the reply.
BILL BROWN says that his Shanghai rooster
is so lall that he has to get down upon his knees
to crow.
| AN Irish lover has remarked that it is great
pleasure to be alone, especially when your
| swate heart is with you.
NEGRO, undergoing an examination, when
asked if his master was a Christian, replied,
No, sir; he's member of Congress-"
A MAINE editor, who went to the opera in
Boston, prefers 1" a quiet seat on messy rock,
near some pond full of bull frogs"
How is it that the trees can put on new
dress without opening their trunks Because
| they leaUe oat their summer clothing.
THAT'S the rock on which we split" said
waggish husband to his wife when she ask ed
HIM to rock the cradle.
FANNY FERN says that is just as sensible to
to undertake to get married without counting,
as to attempt to succeed in business without ad-
vertising.
PHYSICIAN told his patient that he could
| cure his toothache by simply holding in his
| right hand a cetain root. Z" What root ~ asked
the sufferer. The root of the aching tooth -
ARRAH, Barney if that gibbet had its dues,
where the diyil would you be p
"Bedad, Pat, I'd be walking to Dublin all
alone by myself"
WHY was there panic in the early days of
| Moses ecause there were rushes on the
banks, and Pharaoh's daughter withdrew a val
liable deposit.
The way to be happy is to keep your peck cts
we'll lined with silver, clean shirt on your
back, and beautiful, affectionate little wife by
your side. and the thing is done.
TNE harsh, hard world neither sees nor tries
to see mems hearts; but wherever there is an
opportunity of evil, supposes that evil exists
&C. p. r. James.
AN lrishman was testifying in court the other
day, in regard to an assault with gun, and de-
livered himself in this manner. "Plaze yer
honor. he struck heavy blow with the COON.
ane broke it in three halves"
THE Professor says in his last paper that
love you is the secret that many, nay, most
women, have to tell. When that is said, they
are like China crackers on the morning of the
fifth of July"
A YOUNG man in Niagara having been crossed
in love. walked out to the precipice, gave one
lingering look at the gulf beneath him, and
then went home. His body was found mex
morning-in bed. A very sensible young maj
we think.
| My heart, bid thee answer
| How are loves marvels wrought
| 1.-TWO hearts to pulse beating,
Two spirits to one thought"
| And tell me how love eometh?
at comes unsought-unsent
And tell me how love goeth?
THAT was not lose that sceutn
: The young Duchess of Calabria recently CAV,
her husband hint. Some beggars importune'
her for aims. She gave them a diamond rini
' worth three hundred dollars. The young Dukt
demonstrated with his wife on this act of extrav
agance' her reply being that =" he we'll knew
that she had not farthing to give in aims
Why not ask for money!" SIN that case,