Clearfield Republican. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1851-1937, 1859-02-02
4jumOrOns.
THE Paper Don't Say"

The Paper Don't Say"
Mr. SfocuM was not educated in Uni.
yorsity aud his walk in life has been in by.
paths and out Of tho way places, His
mind is characterized by the literalness
rather than the comprehensive grasp OF
great subjects Mr.. Slocum can, however,
master a printed paragraph by dint of
spelling the hard words in q deliberate
manner, and manages to gain a few Gimp
ses OF men and things from his little rocky
farm, through the medium Of n newspa,
per. It Is quite edifying to hear Mr.. Slo-
cum reading the village paperaloud TO his
wife after a hard days work. A few even
| ing since, farmer Slocnm was reading an
nccount Of dreadful accident which had
happened at the factory in the next te%h
and which the village editor had described
in n great many words.
II d'clare wife, th0t was an awful acci-
dcnt over to the mills, said, Mr.. Slocum,
"Whut was it about, MI, r,,Slocum {" q
"l'll read the count, wife, and then
you'll know all about it,"
Mr.. S, began to read:--
IIoRmBLD AND FATAL AcCIDENT.--1t be-
comes our painful duty to record the par
ticulars of an accident that occurred mt tho
lower mill, in this village, yesterday after
noon, by which a human being in the
prime of life was hurried TO that borne
from which, as the immortal Shakespeare
says, no traveller returns
"Du tell /" exclaimed Mrs. s.
Mr. yidJones, n workman who has but
few superors this side of the city Of large
drums, ("I wonder if it was brass drum
such as has 'Ebubst Unum' printed ont,
said Mrs. S., when he became entangled.
His arm was drawn around the drum, and
finally his whole body was drawn over tho
shaft at a fearful rate. When his situation
was discovered he had royolyed with ;in-
mensc velocity, about fifteen minutes, HE
head and limbs striking a large beam a
distinct blow at each revolution. ("Poor
creetcr how it must have hurt him y
! When the machinery had been stopped it
was found that Mr.. Jones arms and legs
were macerated TO a Jelly; ("Well didn't
it kill him ?" asked Mrs. $. with increas-
ed interest ) portions of durmeto, core.
burnt and cerebellum, in confused masses
were scattered about the fioor-in short
the gates of eternity had opened upoE
him." .. 20,
Here Mr.. Slocum paused to wipe his
spectacles, and the wife seized the oppor-
tunity to press the que.tion--
"Was the man killed p
81 don't know--hi vent come to that
lyet-you'll know when have finished the
piece" And Mr.. Slocum continued read.
ing. jtr =
at was evident, when the shapeless
form was taken down that it was no long
er tenanted by the immortal spirit-that
the vital spark was extinct"
"Was the man killed? that's what /
want to come at" said Mrs. Slocum.
"Do have little patience, old woman
said Mr.. Slocum, cycling his better half
over his spectacle, 81 presume we shall
come upon itright away" And he went
on reading
"'rhls fatal casualty has, cast a gloom
over our village, and we trust that it will
prove warning to all persons who are
called upon to regulate the powerful ma
chmery of our mills" -l.,u
Now said Mrs. Slocum, perceived
that tho narrative was ended, "now |
should like to know whether the man was
killed or not"
lTr. Slocum looked puzzled. He scratch.
ed his head scrutinizing the article he had
been perusing, and took a graceful survey
Of the paper. "..
81 declare, wife" said he, ats curious,
but really the paper don't say."-Lit. No.