Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1859-04-07
How Ben purtlo Got His wife.


next noighhor His face was freckled as the
most be8potted turkey egg, His nose sup
ported at the bridge, large lump, while the
end turned viciously to one side. His mouth
had every shape but a pretty shape. His
form was uncouth as his face was ugly The
very climax of ughness was Ben Purtle--
what was more still, Ben had 4 hGIidsomc,
bouncing, blooming wiie--such as can only
be grown upon country farm.
''IIow the deuce" said [ to Ben on Gay,
'dd you ever get such a wife, you uncouth,
mshappen, quintesscncc OF monstrocity p
Beu was not at all offended at the mper-
tinence of my question, and forthwith began
to solve the mystery thus:
''Well, now gals what's sensible amt Cotch
by none of your purity and hilAlutin airs
Eve seed that tried MOI n once. You know
Katy was alters considerable the purtieSt gnl
in these parts and all the young iellcrs in the
naborhoud used to try to cotch her. Well, |
used to 60 over to old Sammy's too just 10
kinder look ON you know and cast Sleeps
eyes at Kate But Lord SakeS | had no
more thought that [ could get Kate than
Jerusalem cricket could hide in the air that
wasn't on old Sammy's bald head--no stree.
But still, | couldn't helf going an my heart
would kinder ilutter, and my eyes would
fum all over, whenever I'd 50 to talk to
Kate. And one day when Kate sorter made
1 fun Of me like, it almost killed me sure, |
went home with something like rock ipst-
| ling in my brest and swore Id hang myself
with the first plow liue found
Did you hang yourself"
! "No, daddy blazod out to me for not TAX
ling old Ball to the pasture in the morning
and scared me SO bad forgot it. -"
! "Go on said /, seeing Ben pause with APP
parent regret that he bad not executed his
VOW.
| ''Well, soon on Sunday muning-U
reckon it was about year after that hangio&l
II got up and sclaped my lacewith daddy 5
razor; and put ON my new copprus britches
and now hnsey coat nanny had dyed
with sRasaIrace bark and went over to uncle
Sammys. Now Ia got to 4oYing Kate IKE
all creation, but never cheapcd to anybody
about my feelings But | knowed | was on
the night side OF the oId folks.
We'll, now amt it guar, continued Ben
after Slight pause during which he rolled
his qnd to more convenient place IN IE5
mouth, chow fellow Will feel sometimes z
Something seemed to say as | went along,
Ben I'utle, this is Il great day for YOU. and
jay bird in trap. Aud when | got there
and seed Kate with her new checked home
spun irock on, rally thought ! should take
the bind staS2rrS anyhow
Zen paused again to brush the fog from
Lis eyes a'. then continued:
"Ne.!, IyHAu the ordcr ol tle Gay was
Y, 90 riosca"i"e hununG' Joe sharp "nd
hiS two sisters and jim, 'owles was thar
II OllifD
was nSnt ait'f maze! ana mated INN were
tatcr patcH nut uon Iet on Hnafp hnd
on Wi'!te orlto"eS a'"' me >hoe' alI 'foai-
cloth coat '''@ eTer| BODY E-!o"rd he WASH
worm req cent ne WaIErd VITA ha'.
a"" you nuE"I 20 q seen Tie 9'rs Eo put on, u,
~ was ;i'SS Nale t'iS ana MISS N4ly
' t""'' ana AZ "'ic" 'onSt''Se' A''Tr "h'''
we came to a slough Whar VIC had To- cross On
; a log ana q notion to ptch the sassy
S'oI l%r hotlilnS icHrl llito Tue water
"Nhy 9ldh you / asked SynQa'hl2-
I"S WIN lAc narrator:
,o'oP' never inlhu' S"'d ben' giving me a
nudSc' fo'idcn'e zone tnat all up Drown;
NuA.l@ must 90 Dut Joe ohafp must Icld
Ala3 hate across i4st' ne jumped On thr
fvG III HISA Glet ana '|oh Naiea h'ud ana Oh
they put. 1Nst as they haI got half way
across tarholiuh b'S bulI ifoS jumped oil
in'"e water lyGu know they 1oIIerl "H4ti;"'
screamed the o''ste! 1901 "hd Knocked nate
Oh up 10 her WaI,t N the has'y, bIa'k mud
, ay water ana aye tI'"k ti'e scamp aUl' /
come up after we'd got ouLan said: "Arc
you much h'1rt Miss Nate -:
NY dandcr Was up. couidn stand It,
cotc!' INN ~ the scat OF ms white Jrurncs
ana hIs cont collar and G,A nm toss; May
bc he diIn . g. clear u"'Er when '.e MT 1ll"
watet. dldn see Eim out. Me aud Kate
I r. ~ - 'i'''~' ~ ''-'' W "'''' NJ" VI
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