Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1859-06-23
For the Yorkville Enquirer.
MY COURTING SCENE

For the Yorkvfle Enquirer.
MY ooURTINe SCENE.
If ever were to propose to lady, no matter
how much she might be pre-disposed to favor my
suit, have not the slightest notion that she
would answer "yes" to the very important and
interesting question. For you see have not the
faintest glimmering of an idea about the "com-
meil-faut" manner of engaging in such an under
taking. All that I know, I have gained from
novels, and have just sense enough left to know
that if were to talk to any respectable woman
as the heroes Of fiction are in the habit of doing,
she would be very apt TO call the servant to re-
move me with the application of boot-leather.-
And she would do right. Now sometimes have
made what, in the language of the turf, ore cal
led ''starts," but met with such rebuffs, as soon
convinced me the ineffcacy of my commence
ments Of progression. For instance. In the days
Of primal adolescence when collars were worn
very elevated and painfully acute; when we'll
strapped breeches Il mean pantaloons of course)
strove in vain to reach the tops Of very high-heel-
ed shoes. In those e1pectant days when NOUS
tache producing unguents nightly covered do,cny
upper lips, and razors purchased with Well-hoar-
ded quarters were cherished and guarded almost
with religious care. In those days, when every
high-souled youth would consider himself ire
trievably disgraced if he had no fair Inamorata,
whose name he might celebrate "in uncouth
rhyme" and lock of whose hair he might wear
in his left waistcoat pocket. Well in those days,
one night (my head was running on those days,
so excuse the bully when the moon did not come
out, on account of the weather; and when look
ed for star to apostrophze in its azure heights,
never star was to be seen, not even policeman,
so I apostrophized the mud in its quite-the-re-
verse-of azure heights. And made very ener-
getic remarks to that mud assure you, almost
giving to them the sanctity Of an oath.
From the foregoing you perceive that the night
was dark and rainy, but glow-worm like my glad
spirit shed spontaneous light which guided
straight to the point where I was all this time
tending, and where at last and my tale have ar
rived, even as q gow-worm might, by devious
ways. Behold me softly opening the gate and
gliding with noiseless steps (for they kepta big
dog there) into the porch, against post of'which
I, as usual, rammed my projecting nose. knocked
at the door and after the confusion, and running
about, and dropping Of things, and calling Of
servants, which in some houses are the invariable
consequences of knock at the door; was ad-
mitted. Being an old friend and welcome visi-,
tor was invited without ceremony into the di-,
ming room which was more comfortable and pleas
ant than the prim and cheerless parlor; and seat
ed by the fire in her chosen place, and gently
swaying back and forth in her beloved rocking
chair, was 'sthe Idol of mine eyes and the delight
of mine heart" my own my dearest Ameliar Jane.
With sweet smile and an extended hand she
kindly welcomed me, and soon I found myself
luxuriously ensconced in large arm chair, gazing
with sentiments of great satisfaction alternately
upon the beaming fire, and on Ameliar's beaming
face. This was the night, thefateful night, which
had appointed to myself wherein should reveal
in words to my charmer what my actions and looks
had long ago betrayed. And now the hour had
come, but lamb-like or rather sheepishly, was
dumb. At last after various hummings and ha-
ipgs and blushings, I managed to say "Ameiar
do you believe in love atfrstsight?" She looked
at me most quizzically and responded that she did
not believe in love OF all. With this she began
rocking back and forth very strenuousy. Here
was poser, in fact itmight be called stumper.
And there she rocked and smiled, and there she
smiled and rocked in the intiest manner possible,
while sat completely petrifed. think, but l
am not very sure, that scratched my head. In
my Confusion concluded to rock too, so leaned
back alas! no rocker was there for it was
common, sturdy, stolid arm chair, and away I
went, my head excessively depressed, my heels
extremely elevated I saw enough stars then to
have satisfied Lord RossE or HERscHEL or even
Professor GOULD. In my descent had clutched
at the table standing ready spread for an early
spoons and knives and saucers, and this and these
and all crashingly and smashingly attended my
downfall Such noise never was heard in one
small family Except where they have twtns).-
Parents arose sghast from their beds to which
they had long since retired. Small children a.
woke and yelled, servants half-waked and quarter
dressed came tumbling down stairs. Ameliar,
perfdious one, shrieked with laughter while I,
miserable I, doynfallen, cheerless l. lay upon my
back unable to rise and thinking very evil
thoughts. kind hearted but excessively awk-
ward African relieved me from my lowly situa-
ton, and seizing my hat, and leaving the cruel
Ameliar kicking the floor in convulsions of laugh
ter hastened from the room, rushed to the gate
(my progress thitherward being greatly accelera-
ted by the consciousness Of the proximity of the
bull-dog) and hastened homeward, my destiny as
bachelor, from that hour firmly and irrevocably
fixed Despondingly yours,
RUBY.
P. 8. "Excuse me for putting 80 many rs in
my discourse" said the candidate for orders "but
when man is speaking of himself it is the brief
est and simplest way of talking Luck of BAR
RY LYNDON, vol. l. R.
BETHANY CHURCH.
We take the following graphic sketch of "Beth-
any Church." from late number of the Due
West Telescope It emenates from the pen of