Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1859-06-09
A Ride.

; During the Revolutionary war, when .
corps of The american army we're encamp.
cd near Eizabethtown, in New Jersey, an
officer, who was rather more of devotee
Of Venus than Of Mars, paid his address.
Is to lady Of distinction, whom he was
in the habit of visiting nightly, in tho
cultivation of those kindly feelings which
love so cordially inspires. On the Disco
very of the cause Of the repeated ab.
sence of the officer and of the place whers
his interviews with bis Dulcinea were
had, some waggish friends resolved to play
of handsome trick at his expense, which
should deter him from repetition Of his
amorous visits. The officer, it appears,
rode very small horse, of the pony kind.
which he always left united, with the bril-
dle-reins over his neck, near the door, 10
order to mount and ride off without delay,
when the business of counting and kissing
was over; and the horse always remained
until backed by the owner, without at.
tempting to change his position. On
certain very dark night, when the officer
had, as usual. gone to pay his devoirs to
the object of his affections, and was Gu
jeying the approving smiles Of the fair
one. his waggish companions went pri.
vately to the door of the house where the
officer was, took the bride and saddle
from the horse, which they sent quietly
away, and placed the former on the tail,
and the latter on the back of very sober
ruminative old cow with the crupper over
her horns) who stood peaceably chewing
her cud near the spot. Immediately
thereafter, they retired some distance from
the house, and separating raised the loud
cry of alarm, that the enemy had landed,
and were marching in full force into the
village. On hearing the voice of alarm,
the people ran out, greatly excited and
CONSERVATION entering every dwelling,
found its unwelcome way speedily into tho
household temple where our official hero
was worshipping. Taking counsel from
his fears, and snatching a hasty kiss, he
started from the lady's chamber, and rush.
ing rapidly down stairs, shot out of doors
with the velocity of a musket ball, and
owing to the darkness of the night, not
seeing the interesting change in the con.
formation Of his nag, mounted hastily into
the saddle, with his back towards the head
of the cow, and plunging his sharp spurs
deeply into her side, caused her to bawl
out with excessive pain, and she darted
off in gallant style, and in her best gsllop
made the camp. The officer still plying
his trusty spurs and whip to the skin and
bones Of the su tferng old animal. and
with his wine aud love aboard-fndng
himself hurried rapidly backwards, mau-
gre all his efforts to advance, and hearing
the repeated Rawlings Of the tortured and
frightened beast, began to imagine that
he was carried off by magic and roaring
most Justify that "Old Scratch" had got
him, was carried in this state of perturba.
ton up to the very lines of the camp
! The courageous sentinels, hearing the
noise, and supposing, no doubt that Han.
ibal and his oxen were coming, discharg-
ed their pieces and fed. The alarm guns
were fired. The drums beat to arms. The
officers left their quarters, and cried turn
out turn OUT with all the strength Of
their lungs. The soldiers started from
their sleep, as il ghost had crossed their
dreams-and the whole body running,
half naked. together, formed as quickly
as possible in gallant dishabille, prepared
to repel the terrible invader. When 10
the ludicrous sight soon presented itself
to their eyes, of the gallant officer mount
ed on an old COW, with bis face towards
her tail, and this appendage sticking
straight out behind-her sides CORY with
the grievous gigging of the spurs-and
the rider himself, owing to his excessive
fear, almost deprived of reason, and half
petrifed with horror. A loud and general
roar of laughter broke from the assembled
band, at the rider and his steed. The
whole corps gave him three times three
| hearty cheers. as he bolted into camp, and
he was seized and carried to his quarters
in triumph, there to dream of lo7es me-
tamorphoses, backward rides. sternway
advances, and alarms of invasion, and
thereby to garnsh his mind with materials
for writing splendid treatise on cow
ology.