The Feliciana Democrat., 1859-03-26

How TO KEEP THE BABY QuIEv See that
the mother has contented mind. That's the
best recipe know of. Always meet her with
that smile which the immortal "Guidc TO
Wives" recommends them, under mountain
loads of perplcXity and provocaton, to keep
on hand for their husbands. Don't imagine
because home looks cosy and comfortable, when
you return to it at night, that it is well either
for the baby's sake, or its mothers, that You
should never take the latter out Of it for u lit.
tie relaxation and fresh air Oh, if you but
knew how woman loves man for occasionally
thinking of these little things; little to you-
great to us. know it is less trouble, if your
purse Is well lined to stepinto a millincr's and
order home new bonnet, which so many wives
have wanted to throw out of the window for
very bitterness Of spirit, had they dared A
bonnet. which your ostrich husband fancics will
cover all his conugal sciiShncSs and sins Of
omission and commission. lie had rather give
her this than draw the boots on his slippcrcd
feet after tea, and take the weary wife and
mother out for the fresh air; and then he won
ders why "the baby Worries and keeps both
awake all night, and why its mothers eyes
look so rayleSS, and why she hcavcS that little
sigh when he sits down to read his newspaper,
and then he settles down to the comfortable
conclusion that "after ALL there is no under
standing women" and reads Sometimes he
says All" or "Oh," or "by Joyc;" but no,
body but himself knows whether Il steamboat
is burned up, or fifty people have been made
mincc meat Of by railroad accident, or Bon.
ner has got another 'illns.rouS contributor
or the tail Of the comet has swtskd through
the milky way lie is too lazy even to talk
about it.
Now, "bonncts" don't cure the heart.achos
and all the rings and bracelets you could toss
into womans lap, q speak ofa true woman, }
are not worth one clasp of your arms around
her neck, whenyou come home from your place
OF business. We don't want forever to take
| it for granted you love rs. We are demon.
stratvc-wc women. There is no need Of your
breaking your backs to pick up our handkcr-
chiefs, as you used in the old courting times;
(heaycns! how you stepped around then!)-
neither do we want you, afte hanging up your
coat and hat in the hall, to sit down in the
parlor and cross your legs, without ever com
ing up stairs to give us the return HISS, which
is so potent to make us forget all the little
mosquito singing household annoyances, which
are but feathers weight when our hearts are
light and happy; for it is not work, but worry,
which makes leaden hearts and footsteps
Besides, under the discouragng influences to
which | have alluded, it's quite impossible to
keep up that sterotyped Smile to which the
Guide to Wives" SO touchingly alIudes.
Guide to Wives! AS ifall wives were alike,
or husband either; as if Il doctor had but one
kind of pill to all his patients; that's an unfor-
tnnate figure Of speech | know; still there are
good DOCTORS and as n class they are much
handsomer than any other profession though
have seen some cditors-but that is neither
here or there. Ah!-now you listen. You
have q family doctor; and y0u and you and you.
Very good See to it that you are as agree.
able and gentIcmanly as he He don't go
to sleep the minute your wife comes into the
room; Or turn his back upon her, and sit down
and read vile politics all the evening, with an
occasional grunt of assent or dissent to some
invisible person. Nor-does any other gentle
man who visits your house. Perhaps now you
may think the subject worth considering.
shouldn't be surprised. FANNY FERN.
THOUSAND DOLLAR HUsBAND.-A Curl
OuS case lately come haforn tbn Snnran,o 0o,,rt