The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1859-01-26
Cur Olio,

Il know, said Tipsey, 'wateris a fine
thing, but it is so dreadful thin.
IT has been said that pantaloons OBJ
taine1 on credit are brooches of trust.
HE@E's to internal improvements" rs
Doors said, when he swallowed a dose of
salts.
THE surest to lose your health is, to
be all the time drinking that of other
folks. aF fee
MYsHEER Drinkenoff makes dlstlnc-
ton thus: Too much whisky is too much,
but too much lager-bier is shoost right
JEFF, why ara you like the CEDAR" l
guys itup, Sam; can't tell you" "Case
You stay green both summer and WIN
ter"
A correspondent wants to know wheth-
er, considering the great utility OF the
ocean, poets are not wrong to call 1t
vast of water.
"WHAr object DO you now see? ?"
The young man hesitated for few
moments, and then replied: at appears
like a jack"ss, Doctor, but | rather think
it is your Shadow.
"ToMMY, my son." said q fond mother I,
on her return from journey, shave you
said yonr prayers night and morning :"
"Yes," was the reply; that is, every
night; but any smart boy can take care
of himself in the daytime.
A fellow, who lives at a boarding-honse
where they give the t'ughest of tough
beefstake staggS rcd his landlady the 9th
er day by handing his plate and asking
in very loud voice, for a little more OF
of his daily board.
A FEW months ago, rs Mr.. Ingalls, of
Swampscott, R. l., was travelling through
the western part of the state of New York
he fell in with an Irishman who had late
ly arrived in this country, and was in
quest Off brother who came before him
aud settled in some of the diggings in that
vicinity. --s ....-
Pat was strong athletic man, a true
Catholic, and had never seen the interior
of protestant church. 1t was pleasant
Sunday morning that brother ingalls, met
Pat, who inquired the road to the near
est church. ingalls, was g good and pi-
Gus man. He told Pat he was going to
chursh himself, and invited his new-made
acquaintance to keep him company thith
CIR, his pla-e of destination being q small
Methodist meeting house near by. There
was great revival there at the time, and
one of the deacons (who by the way was
very small in stature, invited brother In
gals to take scat in his pew. He &C
cepted the invitation, and walked in, fol-
lowed By Pat, who looked in vain to find
the altar. After he was seated, he turn
cd to brother ingalls, and in whisper
which could be heard all around, inquir-
ed:
"Sure an is'ht this a hiritick church II
"Hush," said ingalls,, eff you speak
word they will put you QUIT
And faith, not word will Ispeak al
all" said Pat. .--. ..--...
The meeting was opened with prayer
by the pastor. Pat was cycling him very
closely, when an old gentleman who was
standing in the pew directly in front o.
Pat, shouted "Glory"
"Hist, VIC clear demon" rejoined Pat,
with his loud whisper, which was plain
" heard by the minister, ''be dacent and
don't make blackguard of yourselfr'
The parson grew more and more fer
ven. in his devotions. Presently the Dea-
con uttered an audible groan. ..
"Hist-s-t, ye blackguard, have ye no
dacepcy at all, at all?"
Pat gave the deacon punch in the
ribs which caused him nearly to lose bis
equilibrium.
The minister stopped, and extending
his hand in supplicating manner said ::
"Bre;hren, we cannot be disturbed in
this wav. Will some one put that man
oItp
"Yis, your rivirence." shouted Pat, 81
willr' and sliting the action to the word,
he eoIlared the Deacon, and to the utter
horror and astonishment of the pastor,
brother Ingalls,, and the whole congrega
ton he dragged him through the aisle, land
with q tremendous kick he landed him ia
the vestibuc of the church.