Ashtabula weekly telegraph. [volume] (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1853-1873, 1859-05-28
An Amateur Phrenologist.

oeoig VI OSituiu way III I1Iie, Ieu0., n
jolly publican, who contributes good deal
to the life Of that pleasant but sometimes
very obstinate borough. Que morning
travelling Phrenologist arrived at his inn
and took up lodgings. The next day in
the village paper appeared an advertisement
stating that Professor B, was in Erie.
and would make, ''tor a consideration" ex.
animation of the heads Of the citizens. and
accompany the same with accurate, reliable
charts of character For three or four
days the calls were scarce but on the 6fth
day, there was rush Of five or six 10 the
apartments of the Professor.
One morning a couDtryman entered the
inn where the phrenologist had his rooms
and said to the landlord Aforesaid
is this the place where the the Phrenolo-
gist holds out, who can tell a mans ka-rac-
ter by the bumps onto his skull |?
Yes replied Boniface, with a reserved
and dignified manner
Wal, want my potato trap looked into
a little Where is the man p
i am the man said the landlord
oh F.! you be, eh Wal. put in feel o
my bumps aud gin up a map. What's the
swindle 2
There is no Swindle, sir. Phrenology is
science >ir--a liberal scence.'
y yes !-'>pect so hut what's the price
for teeliu' fcller's head p
One dollar. with a chart
Wal, go it. What do do-lie down
or set up? Does it hurt?'
Not in The least, sir take your seat in
that chair
There were four or FIVE morning Ioungers
in the tavern, who checked laugh as the
countryman took his seat, having first, as
requested, removed his coat, vest, and neck
cloth. The wag of landlord ran his hands
through the hair Of the patient, for mo-
ment, and then said to the bar tender
Mr.. Flpkins, take a sheet of paper,
draw four lines down the whole length and
put down my figures under the head men,
ton to YOU 1t was done Have you
got it 2
Yes, all right
Very well, said the landlord, who went
on with an examination which was rougher,
perhaps, than there was any necessity for.
Put down Philoprogentivenes sixty
Down SIR
Very we'll Reverence, two.'
Booked, SIR
'Comparativeness, two hundred ?
What's that 2 said the victem.
No matter, sir; you will see on the
chart
Crednlity, four hundrsdr
Whats the last bump p asked the pa
tient.
Never mind, now you'll understand it
by and by. And now, ito the barkeeper)
Mr.. Flipkins, you've put these in separate
columns as usual p
Yes SIR
Very well add 'em up.'
Add 'em.upP exclaimed the PhrenoIogi-
cal subject is that the way you do p
'Of c-o-u r-s-e How could we get your
balance of mind-of intellect =
Wal, go ahead ? II
How does it DabolI, Mr.. FIipkins p
The three columns are equsl-foot up
precisely the same ?
The landlord looked soIemnIy and symp
thiziugly towards bis snhject 1t is very
strange. said he, hui Il is so. Phrenology
never lies You have no predominant
character sir you have no intellectual sta
tus you don't know anything, sir Ex.
cuse me, sir but must state the truth
whether you take a chart or not but. sir
If theres any trRth in Phrenoogy you are
d-d foOli Under these circumstances.
SIR, can scarcely expect you to keep the
chart which you have contracted for that
Is matter Of small moment, as it will be
valuable Illustration Of an unique species,
which can use in my lectures with real
name and residence The charge of decep-
ton IN science, is one which was never
brought against me- and never will be, sir
--nerer 2 s-rr .-
'Oh never mind give us the map
said the subject heres the swindle. for il
IS swiudle but I'd rather pay for il than
to have you going round the country max
ing fool Of me everywhere else as Won
have here--you blasted Philoprogenitiye
hnsnbag, you r
With this explosion, the subject retired.