Holmes County Republican. [volume] (Millersburg, Holmes County, Ohio) 1856-1865, 1859-05-05
All Sorts Of Fan.

Girls who are not handsome hate those
who are while those who are handsome
hate one smother. Seems to be q stand.
ing declaration Of war among the whole
tribe. Which class has the best of il. Il,
An editor says his attention was frst
drawn to matri,nony, by the skillful man
nsr in which pretty girl handled br oom.
A brother editor says the manner in which
his wife handles . broom is not so pleas
ant. M 'r ar
On returning home after his duel with
young OConDell, Lord .Alvanley gave .
guinea to the hackney coacbman who had
driven him out and brought him back
The man, surprised at the largeness of the
sum, said, my Lord, only took you to,
-" my friend" interrupted Alvanley
"the guinea is for bringing me 6aek-not
for taking me out"
aJamie," says one Irishman to another,
the first time be saw q locomotive, "what
is that snorting baste9" @Sure," replied
Jamie, al don't know at all, unless it'ss
steamboat splurging along to get to the
watEer." 80
"Put out your tongue little farther"
said physician to female patient; "a lit
tie farther ma'am, if you please little far
STILL" "Wby, doctor. do you think there is
no end to woman's tongue!" cried the
fair invalid.
SISeuLAR.-It is generally observed that
persons of about forty years, especially
young ladies of that age, are very forget
ful of those with whom they were acquant-
ed in childhood. This remarkableness Of
memory has been appropriately styled:
"The darkness of the middle ages"
A Pedestrian in Ireland met a man, and
asked him why the miles were so plaguy
long. Pat replied, "You see, now, the
roads are not good, so the contractors make
up for it by good measure" '
Chemical symbols were used at much
earlier period than is supposed. We find
in the Bible: al. o. every one who thirst
eth"-H. o. Hydrogen, Oxygen,) being
the symbol of water.
II declare" said Brown to Robinson, II
never knew aatter companion than your.
self" "Ah, my friend" said Robinson,
'all the world knows you are fzattsr-er."
II suppose Jim, that if were to jump
into the water here / should find it over
my head and ears" "Over your head,
Frank, but probably not over your ears"
The man who travels thousand miles
in thousand hours may be tolerably quick
footed; but be isn't touch to the woman
that keeps up with the fashions.
Says an astronomer to bright-eyed giri,
when talking of rainbows, "Did you ever
see lunar bow, Missp aPve seen beaux
by moonlight if that's what you mean,"
was the rejoinder.
"Sally," said young man to a damsel
who had red hair, "keep away from me, or
you will set me afre." mo danger of
that" was the answer, Gyou are too green
to burn"
A SHORT DrALoeuE.-Sentimenial
youth-"My dear girl, will you share my
lot for life!' Practical girl-"How large
is your lot, siri"
"Why, my dear sir, are you always gaz-
ing at the sunsetsg' "Just because they
are the only golden prospects | ever have
before me-"
The reason why . sailor IS called tar
is because be is constantly pitchd about by
the sea.
A celebrated cook who died recently,
has had his epitaph written by some cock
ney-sPeace TO his hashes."
Cork-serews have sunk more people than
cork Jackets will ever keep mp.