The weekly Mississippian. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1859-1864, 1859-10-19
A Squirting Jury.

The Washington News records the following
| amusing reminiscence
Once upon o time, or, to be little more
particular, nearly half century ago, there
dwelt in the town o., in Old England, a
ney-at-law, who, although not fair to look
upon, (for he was, in truth, one of the home
| lest specimens of humanity ever beheld by
mortal man, was withal person of sound
| judgement, great benevolence, varied learning,
| q poet, a painter, and wit of no mean order
It so happened that the aforesaid gentleman,
| G. G., Esq, was appointed High Sheriff
of the town d. He was man of for
tune, and had kind heart, as many poor
prisoner could testify who partook of good
cheer with which the prisoners were liberal
| ~ supplied at Christmas and other well known
festivals, from the private house of the High
| Sheriff
1t was, Of course the duty of the High
Sheriff to summon Grand and Petit Jury,
to attend at the Quarter Sessions, of which
| the Recorder, Mayor and Alderman of the
borough composed the Court. In the perfor-
| nance of his official duty in summoning the
Petit jury, our High Sheriff INDUCED in some
| OF the most strange and drollest freaks that
have probably ever been heard of in any other
town or country.
In the first place, he summoned for the Oc-
tober Court jury consisting of twelve of the
latest men he could find in the borough, and
when they came 10 the book to be sworn, it
appears that only nine jurors could sit firmly
m the box After good deal of sweating,
squeezing and scolding, the pannel was literally
damned into the box and, when seated, they
presented to the eye of the Court, the barris-
tiers and audience, the slightest ft'' of jury
that was ever seen in courtroom. Literally
they become, much to the amusement of the
court and its robed advocates, "a packet jury,
and no mistake.
For the January term, our facetious High
Sheriff Gin consequence, it was said, Of some
hint from the Recorder that there should be no
more fat pannels summoned to his Court,
went to the opposite extreme. He summoned
twelve of the leanest and tallest men he
could find in the borough ; and when they
took their seats in the box. it appeared COM
paratively empty-tEere was indeed room
enough for twelve more of the same sort and
dimensions.
For the April terms of the Court, our hu-
morous functionary summoned Jury consis-
ting of twelve BARRIERS Now, it happened
that among the latter were the perruquier who
dressed the Recorders and barristers' wigs,
and some of the latter, arriving late at the bar,
had to appear that morning in court with their
wigs undressed, so as to cut very ridiculous
figure, amid the smiles and halfsuppressed
laughter of the by-standers. The High Sher-
i'll enjoyed the fun amazingly, but looked
grave as Judge" while he tried to keep 81.
lence in the court room"
But the GROWING joke of this waggish func-
tionary occurred at the summoning of his
fourth terra of the Court, the High Sheriff,
not having the fear of the Recorder, the
Mayor and the Aldermen before his eyes, ac-
tually summoned squirting jury, twelve of
as queer looking bipeds as ever took their
seats in jury box-a jury that was probably
more looked at and laughed at than any Of
the appointed twelve that ever were sworn to
''well and truly try, and true deliverance
make, between their Sovereign Lord the King
and the prisoner at the bar"
But the scene was SO irresstibly droll that
the learned Rector could not maintain his
gravity. TIE Mayor and Aldermen followed
suit. The barristers laughed while their wigs
became bald, poweriess nay, even the poor
prisoners in the dock, who were to be put
apon their trial, and some to undergo trans
portation, could not refrain from Joining in
the general cachination. And when the Re-
eorder commanded the High Sheriff to bring
the court room to order, and intimated. with
half-suppressed laugher that the latter ought
TO be ashamed Of himself for summonine snch
ajury, the drollery of this court scene was
considerably heightened by the quick. ready
and sonorous response Of the High Sheriff.
who looking at the same time at the souint.
ing jury, exclaimed-"AH good and lawful
men, your honor"
But our humorous functionary has long
since "shuffled Off his mortal coil"