The Council Bluffs nonpareil. [volume] (Council Bluffs [Iowa]) 1857-1867, 1859-03-19
F7essi he Caicszsa~ and ChoSk.ax aerast
SATAN OUTGENERALED.
BIT r. Z. PINgg.
tell it as twas told 10 me-


81 tell it as twas told 10 me-,
very long time ago. in the western nart
of England, there lived an aged eoanls
whose time had passed awar since earlv
, youth, in the every slay rouud of farm life.
and who had never been known TO have the
least Ill feeling towards each other since the
, , time when good old Parson uerios had uni
! ted them in the holy bond OF weigock :wen-
ty-hTe years before. So well Was the fact
OF their conJugal happiness known tha, they
were spoken Of, far and near. as the happi-
est pair known. Now the Devil (excuse the
abrupt mention Of his nameI had been try
ing tor twenty years to create what is so
commonly called "a fuss in the familv.'
between these two companions. But much
!, to his modification, he had not been able
TO induce the old gentleman TO grumbIe
about breakfast being late. once, or the old
lady to give single curtain lecture. After
repeated efforts the Devil became discour-
aged, and had he not been person Of great
determination, he would doubtless have Civ
en- up the work in despair. One day as he
walked along, in very surly mood, after
another attempt TO get the old lady TO quar-
rel about the pigs getting into tbe yard, he
met an old woman, near neighbor of the
aged couple. AS Mr.. Devil and the neigh
Dor were very particular friends, they must
needs stop on the way to chat little.
'Good morning SIR SAID she, 'and pray
what on earth makes You look so badly this
beautiful morning; isn't the controversy
between the churches doing good service
yet ?
'Yes.'
Isn't Deacon W. making plenty of bad
whisky?'
Yes
i well, what is the matter, my highly hon
ored master?'
Everything is going on we'll enough
replied the Devil, butt and here he looked
as sour as monkey on crab apple tree,
old Blueford and his wife, are iniuring the
cause, terribly by their bad example, and
after trying for years TO induce them to
do better, must say | consider them hope
less
The old hag stood for a moment in deep
thought. Areyou sure that YOU have tried
every way .
Every one can think off,
Are yoa certain:'
/ 'Yes.'
'Well,' replied she, 'if you will promise
to make me a present of new pair Of shoes,
myself, and see if | can't raise IA quarrel be-
tween them.'
To this reasonable request the Devil glad
ly asscnted. The old hag wen: her way to
neighbor Blueford's house, aud found old
Mrs. Blueford very busiiy engaged, in get
ting things ready for her husbands comfort
on his return from work. After the usual
compliments had passed, the following dia-
loguc took place:
'Wcll, friend B., you and Mr.. B. have
lived long time together
Five and twenty years, come next Nov
ember,' replied Mrs b.
And in all this time you have never had
the least QUARREL
Not one
4 am truly glad to hear it, continued the
hag. l consider it my duty to warn you,
though this is the case, yet you must have
observed that of late Mr.. B. has grown pcev-
ish and sullcn at times p
a very little so,' observed Mrs. Blue
ford.
Il know it, continued the hag, 'and let
NE warn YOU N time to be on your guard
Mrs. b. did think she had better do So,
and asked advice, US to how she ought to
manage the case.
Have YOU not noticed said the hag,
that your husband has a bunch of long,
coarse hair growing on a mole, under his
chin. on the side of his throat?'
'YcS.'
'Thcsc are the causes Of the trouble. and
rs long rs tn Y remain yon had better look
out. Now as n friend, would advise YOU
to cut them off the first time you get Il
chance, and thus end the trouble:'
Soon after that the hag started for home,
and made it convenient to meet Mr.. b. on
the way. Much the same talk in relation to
his domestic happiness, passed between him
and the old woman.
'But. friend BIucford,' said she, think
it my duty as a Christian, to warn you to be
on your guard, for tell you that your wife
/ intends your rnn.'
Old Mr.. Il. was very much astouished,
vet he could not wholly discredit her words.
when he reached home he threw himself
: upon 81 bed in great perrlexity. and felSned
! s.sep, studied over the matter in his own
| mind. His wife thinking this good oppor-
Ntnnit- for cutting off the obnoxious hair,
too,. hCr husbands razor and crept softly 10
his s,lc. Now the old lady was very much
! frichtercd mt holding a razor so close TO her
husband::s n eck. and her hand was not so
steady As j. once was ; so between the two.
she went 10 y ork very awkwardv and pulled
the hairs instead of cutting them off. Mr..
B, onened his ewes aud there stood his wife
with a razor at his hr>atl After what had
/ been told him, and seeing this, he could not
/ doubt TINT she intended to murder him
He spran- from the bed ju horror, and no
| explanation or entreatv could convince him
to the contrary. SO from that time forth,
| there was no more peace for that house. 1t
was jaw, jaw, quarrels and wranglng ali the
| time.
With delgh. the Devil heard of the sue
| cess of the faithful emissary. and sent her
word that If she would meet him at the foot
! of the lawn. at a certain time, he would pay
her the shoes.
At the appointed time, she repaired to the
! spot and found the Devil at the place. He
| put the shoes or the end OF long pole and
| standing on the opposite side Of the fence,
handed them over to her. She was very
much pleased with them. they were exactly
! the article.
/ But there i. one thing, Mr.. Devil, that
/ | would like to have explained: That is
why you hand them to me on that stick "
! VERY easy to eSplain.' replied he, 'any
one who has the cunning and incanuess TO
do as YOU have done. don't get nearer than
twenty feet Of mel So saying he aed in
/ terror.
! After while the ed woman died, and
when she applied for astmissance 10 the lower
regions, the Devil would not let her in, for
! fear she might de;hrone him, as che wassso
much superior. So the old woman is yet
compelled TO wander over the world, crsa-
ting quarrels and strife in peaceful families
and neighborhoods.
Would you know her name?
= II is Madame Scandal. When she d ed,
/ her children. the youug Scandalizers, were
/ left orphans, but the Devi! in consideration
/ Of past services done by the mother, adopt
/ ed them, aud 80 you see be is the father OF
that respectable class called Scandal mon
gers.
NOTICES OF THE STATES.
I Three States of the Union-Vermont,
New Jersey ard De!avars--haye the same