M'arthur Democrat. (McArthur, Vinton County, Ohio) 1853-1865, 1859-04-07


a bed in the fence corner"
ARTIST. Hitch your hoss to that
'simmon tree In a hornl Why,
You must he a nat'ral fool, stranger
Don't you see that's me and the ole
woman's only chance for 'simmon
beer, in the fall of the year 7 If your
hoss is 80 tarnal hungry as you say he
! is, he'd girdIe it as high upas he cod
reach aeUre mornin'. Fitch your boss
to that treel | 'spect not no, no,
stranger, you can't come nary sich a
dodge as that"
Our traveller, seeing that he had an
original to deal with, and being lin
sell al amateur performer upon the
instrument to which the settler was SO
ardeutly attached, thought he would
change his tactics, and draw his de-
termined MOTTO toe " host" ont a little,
before informing him of the fact that
he could play the Arkansas Travt!E
err" which, once being known, he
rightly conjectured, would be pass
port to his better graces:
TRAVELLER. Well, friend, if !
can't stay, how far is it to the next
house 2"
ARTIST. "Ten miles ana you'll
think they are mighty long ones, too,
afoye you get thar. / came nigh onto
rorgettin' to tell you, the big creek is
mp; the bridges is carried off; there's
nary yeartly chance to ford it; and
Iif yer bound to cross it, yer'll have to
90 about seven miles up stream, to
ole Dave Lody's puncheon bridge,
through one Of the darnedest bamboo
swamps ever y0w seen. Ireckon the
bridge is standin' yet-'twas yester.
day momin'; though one eend had
started down stream about fifteen feet,
or sich a matter"
TRAVELLER, "Friend, you seem com,
municative; and if it's no ofense, I'd
like to knew what you do Tor a living
hereW
ARTIST. "No offence on yearth,
stranger; we just keep grocery"
TRAVELLER. GA grocery! Where
in the name of all that is mercantile,
do your customers come from9 Your
? nearest neighbor is ten miles distant ,
ARTIST. "The fact is, me and the
, ole woman is the best customers get;
but we 'spect these digginS will i'm
prove, and in course business will
! improve too. Ilows'ever, we dc
, suthin n0ao, even. Me and the ole
woman took the cart t'other day, and
{ went to town; we bort bar'l Of wills,
XIV, and after we come home and 'gin
to count the balance on hand, we found
there want but jist one solitary plea,
yune left, and as the ole woman allus
carries the puS, in course she had it.
Well, | sot tho bar'l agin one side d
the room, and shortly arter the ole
woman sez: 'supposin' you tap your
J, eend OF the bar'l, and | did; and she
bought a drink and payed me the
picayune. Pretty soon | begun to
f git dry, and says: '9lc woman, sposin
you tap yOur eend Of the bar'P--and
, she did; and ther she sells me a drink
, and the way that picayune has travel
! ed back'ards and lor'ards over the
bung OF that bar'l is caution to then
. as loves 'red,eye.' But, stranger,
losses is apt TO come with every bus
lness; and me and the ole woman has
j, tost some in the grocery line; aud II
ltell you how twas. That boy Bill
! our oldest son, he see how the licke,
j was goin', and he didn't have nary
> red to iine in the retail business; 81
i one night he crawls under the house
and taps the bar'l betwixt the cracks
in the puucheon-d floor; and | rail-,
n believe he's got more than me or tn
!, ole woman either; the good ior-noth
ing vagabond, to come the 'giraH
:, over his material born parents, it's enut
to make a man sour agin all creation
o that boy'll be the ruination OF us yet
lie takes to trickery jist as material al
3 a hungry 'possum takes to hen-roost
! Now, stranger, what on yearth am
do? He beats me and the ole wo
man entirely" ,zH3E
t TRAVELLER. cit would be difficul
b for me to advise in regard to you
j. son, as have no family of my own
< You say it is ten miles to the mex
S house; the big creek is up; the bridge
i carried away, no possibility of ford
ing it, and seven miles through c
e swamp to the only bridge in the vi
\ cinity!l This is rather q gloomy pros
\ pect, particularly as the sun is jus
about down; still.my curiosity is ex
cited, and as you have been playing
D only one part Of the Arkansas Trav
eller' ever since my arrival, | would
! Ike to know, before Ileave, why you
| don't play the tune through" .-.z ma
b ,ahRTIsr. zaFor one of the very bes'
: reasons on gyearth, old ,hoss--l CAM
r do it, Ihaint .larnt the t,vp, Of, thai
tchune, and drat me if i believed eyi
!. ey shall" d 7'''''T7 '',7 y. .