Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1859-12-29
9Dit qa0 45umoT.


How 70 OPEN OYs-Ens Talk If crer-
ing oysters" said old Hurricane, "why. nc;..
ings easier. if you only know how"
and how, how . inquired Straight.
Scotch snuff answered Old Hurricane.
vcsy sententiuusly. Scotch snuF. Bring q
little Of j. ever so near their noses, Rnd theyi
sneeze their lids off,
4 know genius observed HIeistcr Kar',
'wLo lMs ls..er plan. He spreads the =!
va!ves IN a circle. seats himself in the centre
and begins spinning yarn. Sometimes it's
All adventure in Mezico-somotimes legend
of lis l9ves-sometimcs q marvellous stock
transaction As he proceeds the natives get
erc.:s2-une by one they gare with aston
isl rnent at the tremendous and direful whop-
peEs which are poured forth, and Is they gape,
'ay fr!eai whips 'eEn OFT, peppers en- and
a. a",%s EN-.
'Ths,'!l do said Straight. with 'org sigh
Il wi'h we Ind bu4fel Of the hiralYe5
'ece now-:!ey'd open easy
A so;,a, ra!lilE upon rcfincr in the city,
asked him What might be the value of an III
70: II gold a. biz Gs lis arm. The refucr
fcyuaet lin into y back room, and primeG
hin. with grog. lie then asked to see tic
mgy: Oh sa:l Jack, 4 haven't got it yet;
tlll- u S,blLS W htttNl INV
10 knew The value Of euch n lump before [
start
Doctor Byias, who was very angry when
any joke was passed on his profession, cAce
said: 4 defy any person whom ever attend
ed, to accuse me of ignorance or neglect. -
That you may do safely, Doctor, replied {.
was, dead men tell no tales i!
A doctors wife attempted to move him hY
her tears, 'Ah 7 said he, tears are useless.
have anulyzed them. They contain little
phosphate of lime, some chorate e sodium,
and water
The hest definition we ever leari of bear
i1g false witness against your ueighhor,' was
given by little girl in school. She said it
vas when nuhody did nothing and sol2ebod?
went and told Of it.
I suppose, jim that If were TO jump into
tho water here snouid find it over my lead
and ears Over your head, Frank, but PRO
badly LDs over your ears.'
Gentle en-, saye n tavern-fceror to lis
guests AZ midnight / don't kuow whcti e'
ruu have talked enough or not, but a. ~
myself am going to Shm np.
The tongue ofchldhood, in its earnest ani
innocent lispings, rot unircquently gives Ut
teraace to the most exquisitely poetic exprcs-
so' y, which seem to fall from their tiny lips
by inspiration. a few days ago, a bright
eyed little hoy in this city, about six yeas
old retired upstairs to bed leaving his moth
er below without the Customary goodnight
kiss As he kissed is fa,her and ta'c him
goodnight. he naively sai'i: Tell Iaamml
goodnight ior me. forgot to kiss her, :
tel. her that Hiss her in my heartF'
Nh, parsi;.s.on says: 81 hav'nt any desire
70 live any longer ihan tie breath remains IN
my body, If il isn't more than eighty years
wouldn't wish 70 lie n centurion; and tie
idea oF Surviving ones factories always gives
..Ie " a.Ragrceai,lc CEN oriouapcss. Bat nat
d over Is 10 hc. wiil Re, and there is no know
7 SIS sling " III take p'acs Until il e&! !i:ts,
"My son. havn. told you three times to
20 aud shut that eate?i sed . father to a fur
year oi. "Yes," sa;l Young America, "and
hav'ut tod you three times that wonlint
do it? 4od must be stupid.
"T Dnc'7re." said Brown to Robinson, Il
never knew a iiatter companion than your
self" "Ah, my friend" said Robinson, all
the worid Knows you a,e .Rattsr er.'
4 SHORT DiALoeUE. youth.
My dohr girl viii you ehar. my 10, for
i!ef' Practical girl,-"How large is your
10; f!y7"