Daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1865, 1859-12-10
LFroll the springf|ld Guardian /
Divnrnad hWEIisfaka

| of.SermOns, 80 cents each. noyl1:5o
- - 3-=ss-ee-------
[From Tie sprinsf|ld Guardian.I
Divorced bYEfistake.
One winter fhere dime Into Trenton.
New Jersey, two men, ,llamel Smith and
Jones, boil, ofwhom hid designs on tha
Legislature. Jones lidl a bad wife. aud
was in love with pretty woman. nc
Wished tobe divorced from his bad wife,
SO th2t ne might MARI the pretty woman,
VINO VINO by the iw'1y, WAS widow, with black
eyes, and such form Therefore, Jones
came to Trenton for a iyorcc.
Smith had q good ,Nfie, good as annrrcI
ana the mother of tepEhilGren, and Smith
did not want to bic dlorced; but did want
to get Il charter foral turnpike or Dionk
road, TO extend from 4eg's Run to TcrraDin
Hollow.
Well, they, with jth$o different crrands,
came to Trenton, and addressed the assem-
D!cd wisdom with t6eE1tSunl arguments
rifst, sGppers malniNfomPosed Of oysters,
WIN rich backgrouhdof vcnisou; second,
liquors IN great p!eHt5i from dorsey light
nlng,, wl!Ich is a kindbf locomotive nj full
speed, reduced 10 liqd9F shape, 10 Newark
champagne.
To speak in plain dose the divorce man
gave champagne supnei and Smith, the
turnpike man, followed With champagne
breakfast, under The modifying influence Of
which Inc assembled wisdom passed both
divorce and turnpito.bils--Gnd Jones and
Smith, copy Of each biz i'll their packets.
went rejoicing hcnlef o1er miles Of sand,
and through the tribElatbn of many stage
coaches.
Smith arrived home il the evening. and
as he he sal down in Ilif pnrlor, his pretty
wife beside tlim-4hoSy pretty she did look!
and five OF herchildfcn ovcrhcaring the
other five studying ticir lessons in the
corner oi' the room. Smith YVES induced to
e2l1a 4sllAS !5 eE2d Ess11lt 4E
directors, anc Will be president. Ii will!
set me UP, love; vi can send our childlcn
TO bo0rding-school, and live in style out OF
toll. Here is The 6 barter"
''j.et me sec it,, f1id the pretty little wife
who was one oft &c INCEST of wives, with
plumpncss and goodness dimpiing all over
her t;tce-'let me sic it, as she leaned owe;
MIR. Smiths shoulder.
But ali at once Smiths visaur crow long:
Smiths wite's visGgf grew.black.
Bless Us. Wife, those internal scoun-
drels at Trenton haze gone and divorced
us!n
1t was too true. Eho parchment which
he held wts htll OF divorce, in whi.l' the
names 81 smith and Smiths wife appeared
III trlghtiuEly, lcgibik letters.
Mrs. Smith wiped her eyes with the cor
ner Of her apron.
"Hcrc's y turnpi,r.n she said s,dlv
Sand with the who'll of our ten children
staring me in the tnrc amt your wire!-
Here's L turnpike
Although tho night was dark, and most
Of Tie deniZcns of Smiths town had gone
| 10 bed, Smith had his late wife mt oO hrr
hornri anJ arm ri arm thny rrosaoioI ".i d,n
10 the cIrrgyp,on ofltbc;r cLnTcl
:.Gnodness h,ost ,ncIp aycloimcd tbo
good man. as he sIw them cntcrNS,ri;b
| ioukinr like fbc hst of a Jnnn sLnG@
Smit:,'s Wife wip;rtr l,er ewes with the cor
nor nCi,cr onron. ttEooappss ,cIl r,o ,yl,ot:,,
the niat,cy!,
..rhe matter is. want yor to marry Ds
two RIGHT off, replied Smith.
"Marry you'll" calculated thc clergyman,
with cyDandcd ft;rers md awful ev. :.
..wh,f. ;s ti,n ,nqt!cr with po,,2f'
However, he ffgalsv married tbcr, ,vcr
ssriirhEwny. end ,J6HId not take n foo =
The fact is ora vn ok hc was hc vns dripu
10 Inc olorn that III might Give ,.a,,t tt. .
anpurcssed lauuh tIatwas sIInkinr him all
oyr,. snj Sn,;ti, g,J s;,,,;ti,'s Ne, ,.o,,t
foyrully hcync ana Missed ali of tLc;r r,,iiS
ircn. The littleISmitIs never knew that
their father ha d aver bccn made strarocys
by Legislative enactment. - ~ - :
Mcanwhilc. and ON eho, same nigft. Jones
returned to his nffive town RmrIincton I
Fbclicvo-and sorpht al once the fine black
4 eyes which he Tadjhoped shorty to call
his own. The pretty widow SAT on the
sofa, white 'kcrchiof tied carelcsslv about
her round, white throat, her black hair
laid in silky waves droiust each rosy check.
divorce is the word cried Jones.
pluytullv rnttipr-Iter donbIc chin. sthc