The Van Buren press., 1859-08-03

eS'iC 40 tuooSu they uau Ueen through
fuiiing mill 1t is a great economy that
allows rest after toil-although political
editors are obliged to catch it as they march
Saturday night comes down on all such
like refreshing shower on parched soil
obliterating the strifes and anxieties of the
week gently dropping the soothing Sab
bath influences over the wearied man.
AVOIDING THE REsPONsIBILITY.-Brot
Noel was +" sore troubled" at the scandal
Brother Crump brought upon himself BY
drinking too much, and especially regret
ted the injury it did to society at Sharon.
So one morning he stepped over to Broth
er Crump's, and found the old man in a
doze on the little porch
Won't you take dram 90 asked
Brother Crump, as soon as he was made
aware of the presence of his neighbor.
Why, yes, I'm not agin a dram when
a body wants it.
Brother Crump got his bottle, and the
friends took dram apiece.
Don't you think, Brother Noel" said
Crump, that sperits is blessin' ?''
Yes," replied Noel, " sperits is bles-
sim that some of us abuses
Well, now, Brother Noel, who do you
think abuses the blessin' 90
Well, it is hard to say-but people
talk-don't you think you drink little
too much. Brother Crump 90
" 1t is hard to say. Sometimes I've
thought was a'drinkin' too much, and
then agin I'd think maybe not. What is
man ? A weak ,corrum of the dust So
l left it to the Lord to say whether l was
a-goin' too far in spirits. put the whole
'sponsibility on him. l prayed ef l was
drinking too much for him, to take away
my appetite for spcrits. I've prayed that
prayer three times and he amt done it. Sc
Fm clear of the 'sponsibility. any way"
Wasn't THERE Too AT a recen,
election in this State, lad presented him
self at the polls to claim the benefit of the
elective franchise.
Feeling a deep interest in a certain can
didate, the father, who was evidently oppo-
sed to the boys preference, stood at the
ballot box and challenged his right to vote,
on the ground of his not being of age.
The young man declared that he was twen-
ty-one years old, that he knew it, and in
sisted on his right.
The father, becoming indignant, and
wishing, as the saying is, to bluff him Off
before the judges, said
Now, Bob, will you stand up there
and contradict me. Don't know how old
you are Wasn't there 90
Bob locked his contempt for the old
mans speech, as he hastily replied
ThaRdcration, suppose you was ;
waSu't / fboro fo, 90
This settled the affair, and in went the
scion's vote.
STANDING BY HIS FRrENDs.-In the flash
times of Vicksburg. when the phrase OF
60 hard case" meant something more than
it does now, Harvey Jenkins was admitted
ly one OF the hardest. The sermon being
over, the preacher requested all who were
friendly to religion, to rise and hold up
their right hands. The whole audience,
apparently, were on their feet. After they
were seated again the minister continued !:
GO Now, if there is single one here who
desires to see Satan and his kingdom pros
per, he will rise and hold up his hand"
Harvey, with some difficulty, got to an
erect position and said "Had the vote been
less unanimous. should have retained my
seat but 1 make it a point of honor never
to abandon friend under adverse circum-
stances"
s When Peter the Great was in
France. the Marquis de Nestle appeared be-
fore him every day in a new dress. !" Sure
ly," said the Gar to the Marquis, /" your
tailor must be very bad one that he can
never fit you."
EE At the Worcestershire session in
one case, the jury returned the following
verdict &c Guilty, with some little doubt
as to achether he is the man.
ES One of the miseries of human life
the being beaten in argument, and after
wards thinking Of some happy retort or
very appropriate joke, which would have
smashed your adversary to smitherens.
EF A tutor lecturing young man for
his irregular conduct. added with great pa
thos SO The report of your vices will
bring your fathers grey hairs in sorrow to
the grave" 81 beg your pardon, SIR re-
piled the incorrigible, &c my father wears
wig"
~ 1t was prime joke Of Canning's
who. when told by an eminent doctor ssh.t
poverty was a virtue, said
Well, never knew until now, what
making virtue of necessity meant
EI If you would keep your oldest boy
from walking in his sleep, let your servant
girls be as old and ugly as possible.
~" Jenny, do you go to school 90
Yes, sir, to the school kept by Miss
Post"
"Miss Post! not whipping Post, /
hope ?''-