The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1859-02-24
MIR. BLIFKINS' ECONOMY.

Blifkins baby is now going through
the papers, and though il was true, very
few of them seem disposed to credit it..
We were delighted with Blifkins' ac-
count Of his saving, by an economical
ezpediont, and give it nearly in his own
words:
"Mr. Blifkins," says my wife, "our
kitchen needs painting"
"Doos it, my dear2 We'll, then, need
it must, for l assure you, Mrs Blif-
/ kins, that the accrung dimes do not
warrant the outlay at present" 1 saw
that she was unhappy, and would not
relinquish her point.
81 have thought of an expedient by
which we can have our kitchen painted "
Her face was lightedup with an express
sion that it seldom wears, as she spoke.
She is a great woman for ezpedients,
is Mrs. Blif kins.
"You can do it yourself" continued
she, touching me with the point of her
fore-dnger in the region Of my fourth
vest button "a dollar saved said she
still further, ''is as good as a dollar
earned you know"
1 looked with admiration on that
wonderful specimen Of her sex, as she
said this, and "allowod," Gas the west
ern people say) to myself, as an econo-
mist, that she had no peer. And
we'll might 1 allow it, for at that very
moment were her shoulders covered by
sort of monkey jacket, made
Of one Of my worn out coats, and
pair of galligaskins had assumed the
form of a basque, and were worn by
juvenile Blif kins.
"Your suggestion, said I to my wife,
''is a good one, and tomorrow shall de-
velope a new phase in my character I
will turn artist, and give the world evil
dence Of talent that needs but the
Promethean spark of necessity to draw
it out 1 will get pots and brushes, and
Michael Angelo, Raphael, Salvador Ro-
sa and Claude Lorraine shall yield the
palm to Bhfkins."
Mrs. B. was delighted. "NIr Blif-
kins, said my wife in the night, as I
was getting into a sound nap, you'd
better make it pale green"
"Do what?" said I, starting up for
getting all about the painting.
"The paint, replied she.
am afraid that used some express
sion of spleen that was unworthy of
me. turned over to try to sleep again.
"Mr. Blif kins," said my wife, don't t
you think the window-sills would look
better some other color2'
"Any color you please, my dear, said
I, "but let us dismiss the question from
present discussion" But 1 was all
night dreaming of my undertaking -
No roseate hues mingled with my sleep.
ing fancies, fraught with the odors of
celestial bowers, but paint pots were
piled in pyramids about me, brush-hon-
dies, like boarding-pikes, 1 encountered
everywhere, and villainous smell of
raw paint almost suffocuted me-
1 was up with tho lark, and after
breakfast went down to Bristles, the
painter to procure my paint. That
? eminent professor Of art mixed me two
pots of the right article, of hues that
were of satisfactory shade, and 1 went
q home with anticipations of the most ex-
e alted character
! "NTr. Blif kins," said my wife, "you
S have dreadfully daubed your pants with
the paint-strange that you should be
p so careless"
n Sure enough, on both sides I had be-
j slowed impartial donations of the ad
herring color. The pants were new, anC
e I had congratulated myself on their be-
n ing wonderful fit. This was a discour
70 agement
p "Mr. Blifkins, said my wife, "you't
n better put on an old pair"
d 1 have always boasted of my ability
T. to compete with anybody in the partic
ular property known as old clothes.
knew that the decayed fashions of many
years hung on their allotted pegs il
i the closet which had been facetiously
t denomiuated "the wardrobe" and has
=, tened to procure the garment desired
a In the name of all the tribes of Israel
e where'were the bifurcated integument
o that for years had met my view? Tht
:, pegs were bare, and my first impres
G sion was that they had taken to thei
y own legs, and walked away.
u "Mrs. Blifkins, said to my wife
h on the top of the stairs, and at the tol
s of my lungs; "where are the--the-
10 garments"
81 heard her say something abou
70 "sold," and concluded that she wa
- trying some little trick upon me, a
wives sometimes will, and was adopting
the formula so much in vogue, for eX
pressing it. She came up stairs.
y "Mr Blif kins, said she, ~ declarr
i I sold all Of your old clothes only yes
q terday, for a beautiful pair of vases an,
some tin-ware."
1 looked at her earnestly, but the evi
- dent calmness that prevailed in her owl
. breast softened and subdued the vic
- lence in mine.
a you'd better put on this, said she
n holding up an article of female apparel
y the name of which 1 disremember bu
- which when fastened to my waist, as
2 reoolleot, fell to my feet. She smile,
as she placed it in my hand, and / pu
it on. "Now shall you see, wife. of m,
rs soul, said I, "such work as you cal
r find alone in the Vatican at Rome, o
IT the Louvre at Paris, should you fee
- inclined to seek it, Here, before thi
s. door, / take my stand, and here com
menoe, You shall sec"
ie "Mr. Blifkins," said my wife, "don'
3s drip it over tho loor"