Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1859-09-08
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- Never open the door to little vice,
lest greater one ould:enter. =, ,.'..,..,
--tNever 60 where. you wouldn't hke'to
be found dead,' is "a new maxim Of morality,
just before the people.
Which can smell a rat the quickest
the man who knows most, or the man who
has the most nose. .
Why are ladies like bells? :? Because you
never find out their metal until you have
given them ring. '.
The latest novelty is dog, who has
whistle growing on the end of his tall Heal
ways calls himself when wanted. .5.-
We are so used to disguise ourselves to
others, that at last We become disguised even
to ourselves. d, 1..5.<>',- "a,
= Those who apply themselves too much
to little things, commonly become incapable
of great ones. e...,..>. .. 80,
The hardest situation for grumbler to
be in is to feel like grumbling, and nothing
to grumble at. .'' -
The Shelbyville Volunteer defines a
stuffed duck to be young lady, crammed
to death with aattery by her lover. ...-
1t was observed ola celebrated physician
that he never said in company, Il drink
your health, but, 'ny service to yoas SIR
A strange genius, in describing a lake
in Minnesota, says it is so clear, that by
looking into it you can see them making tea
in China. r..
Few things are impracticable in them
selves; and it is from want of application
rather than of means, that men fail of sue
cess. 49,
a kind word to the unfortunate, while
it lights hopes taper in the heart, and bright
ems the future with CLEAN of sunshine,
leaves priceless satisfaction in our breasts.
1t does not necessarily follow that a
man is a Christian because he belongs to a
church any more than it follows that man
is dog because his name is Barker p.
"A waggish candidate, coming in the
course of his canvass to tailor's shop
'What we look for here, said he, 'are meas
ures, not men,"
- Dear me r said Mrs. Partington, 'what
monsters these cotton-plauters must be. /
am told some of them have as many as a
hundred hands t.... =
Sally said o young man to damsel
who had red hair, keep away from me, or
you will set me afre.' mo danger of that
was the answer; you are too green to burn
If dull weather affects you, marry a
warm hearted girl, and make sunshine for
yourself. Bachelors will find this far supe-
rior to either billiards or Burgundy
What is that which, supposing its
greatest breadth to be four inches, length
nine inches, and depth three inches, contains
solid foot? ? A shoe.
-Is Mr.. Jones iu ? asked an Irishman
of the porter in hotel. mo, , was the re-
ply; will you leave your name?' 'Och mur-
ther, do you think I'd be afther going with
out name p .'
A wild African recently brought to
Boston by merchant, begged for an old
gun which he saw When he was asked what
he wanted of It, he replied, ito buy wife and
and have pickouinuies TO SELL
A young lady lately appeared in male
attire in Baltimore; and one of the editors
says her disguise was so perfect that she
might have passed for man, 'had she a lit
tie more modesty.' -.
Landlord, you have done me too much
honor; you let me sleep among the big
bugs last night 'Oh, don't be too modest,
my dear lodger; doubt not they have some
of your own blood in their veins
-Digby sat long time, the other day,
contemplating cane bottomed chair, and
finally said: T wonder what fellow took the
trouble to find all them holes, and put straws
around them
A gentleman named Benjamin Ginning
recently presented the poor of the city of
Liverpool with FL, 900. A good B. Ginning.
A fellow name Nathaniel Ding was recent
ly hung in Liverpool for killing and beat
ing his grandmother. A Bad N. Ding. !
According to the old mythology, Nep-
tune, the sea-god, created the horse, and
was the patron of horse-races. This, proba-
bly,, accounts for the fact, that people who
patrouize the race-course so frequently get
half.seas over
An Irish cyriage driver made very
happy and characteristic reply, the other
day. A gentleman had replied to Pats ''Want
carriage, sir@ by saying, mo, am able
to walk; ; when Pat rejoined, 'May your
honor long be able, but seldom willing
DIR Barney says that when be was young,
his venerable teacher gave him lesson,
which made deep impression, and by which
be eudeavored to profit: Never go to bed at
night he said, 'until you know something
which you did not know in the morning
sar Il say, Mr.. Pilot, amt you going to
start soon?' said a cockney on steamer ly-
ing-to during fog. 'As soon as the fog
clears up replied the captain. well, it's
starlight now overhead, said cockney. 'Oh,
yes but we're not going that way said the