The Council Bluffs nonpareil. [volume] (Council Bluffs [Iowa]) 1857-1867, 1859-01-22
COUNCIL BLUFFS

lreau this story. and laugh till her Lowell,
blue eyes fill with tears, over my folly
She Will show it to her husband. too, and
he will laugh. Never mind! I must tax,
care that Mrs. Cathcart shall never see it
she at least must never know what trcmen
dous falsehood told when | swore, on III,
Bonded knees that had never loved an,
woman before (she wonldn't marry me OF
any other conditions )-and thereby alon
can my peace of mind be insured.
A BRIDAL TOUR.
A day or two ago young couple wer
married in Il neighboring county. Though
:csiding in thlcky settled neighborhoo,
Of highly respectable families, neither o.
them had ever seen railroad train or Wis
ted the great Queen C,ty. They had means
ia abundance, and they determined to cele
'rate the 'happy OCCASION by trip to Gin
cnnati. The marriage ceremony over, th'
old folks were hidden good bye, and thu
lride and groom, and groomsman and brides
maid all started gaily away for the great bri
sal tour. Arriving at Hamilton they drov,
Immediately to the station and awaited th'
arrival Of the cars. Soon they came boom
ing along.
'Jehu? exclaimed the bridegroom, as
throwing his hat back on his head and run
ming his hands into his breeches pockets, h'
fixed his widely opened eyes upon the dash
ing locomotive; 'Jehu what snortcr. Ant
that's the iron hoss.'
'Marcy, an its run away, amt it?' stimuli
taneously exclaimed the bride, us, like ,
young wife she clung to the arm of her be-
loved.
Not word more did either speak unit
some time after the train had stopped
They then debated the propricty of goin,
aboard, and were thus engaged when thu
conductor, Werner, who had heard Of tn,
nature of the case, approached, and politely
invited them to take seats in the train.
'We'rc sort Altered, boss,' answered th,
bridegroom.
'There is no danger, sir, none in the least
1t is very seldom that We have an accident
on this road,' replied the conductor.
'kin you hold the thing?' asked the bride
pointing to the locomotive.
'Wc have him under perfect control, Mis-
oh, beg your pardon madame. Stcl
aboard, if you are going-timc' up
With much trcpidation, they allowed ths
conductor to assist them into the cars. The
=
wife hung close to the side of her husband
and he in turn put his arms round her, anc
looked at her as if he was determined t
protect her at the risk Of his own life. They
Of course. became the observed Of all obser.
vcrS. The train moved.
'Mcrcy, we're goin,' exlaimed the wife, as
she nestled closer to her husband.
Don't be Altered, I'm holdin' of you, re-
Joined the atlectionatc lord.
Sw!ftcr the cars sped and tighter they
hugged each other. In few minutes, how
ever, their fears began to dissipate. Grad
ually they began to recover sclf-possesslon
and finally TO enjoy the ride. They tlttere,
and laughed.
'SaI, this is nice,' exclaimed the husband
'Ain't it, responded the bride. If III
known how nice it was, I'd a got married
long ago, jst to had Il ride
.Jchu, how fast we're going y
'And I'm not bit sick Who'd tho't
was mighty sure I'd be sick
Sick = exclaimed the husband, his sci
possession fully recovered, 'nobody's gnin;
to be sick in these kind of wagons ; feel u
slick as new flute
Happy as happy could be they arrived il
iiC HuSDNUu 'HbaIU ttll y
the new Gibson House, and thither escorte,
his party. The most affablc of afi,ablc hosts
Getlroy met them and politely gIidcd then
into the reception room, before they wcr
aware of it. They were amazed at the pref
ty furniture. The gents were taken bclov
to register their names, and did so as quick
lv as possible. AS soon as this was done
the clerk, Mr.. John Ienric, addressing tn
husband of few hours, asked:
'Shall place the two ladies together
'W-h-a.t = asked the a>tonishcd man.
'Shall room the two ladies together =
Look here stranger, none of your jokes,
responded the husband, throwing his hat t
one side Of his head, Il are a married man
You mustn't separate man and wife-th
Scripture tells you that
But it is customary continued the gal
liant clerk, 'whcn bridal parties stopa, no
tel for the ladies to room together
Darn the custom. That gals my wife
and no separatln' US is the word. If you wer
ist married YOU wouldn't like to be cut
from your wife, would YEP
That was enough for the clerk, and h
roomed the party accordingly. As in tn
cars, the party became the observed Of al
observers at the hotel. At supper the
could not eat for their surprise at the splcn
dor of the table ware and the rows Of serv
ants in 'whitc jackets bobbin round,' as tn
bride expressed it. After tea they wer
shown into the parlor. The magnifccn
furniture Of the room, struck them Wit
dunn wonder. They seemed afraid to trca
upon the plu>hy carpet, and had no idea sue
'Iurtv chairs' were to sit on. They di
manage, however. to view themselves in tn
large mirrors. That they could 'sce thci
hull selves in one glass; astonishcd them
Having Toasted their eyes there, the hus
band bcthought himself of another item i
the programme of the bridal tour. Has
tening to the office, he inquired Of Mr.. Hen
/ rIe:
! Boss, what time does the show com
mCnce:'
j What show:'
J Them niger fclIcrs. Wc'rc goiu' to tn
show. We cum down to see the hull thin!
and we're agoing to 90 it. Darn the es
pcnsc. Amt it about time for the show t
open:'
'.ust about. Do you know where is is
'No, but reckon we kin find it,
Sect your ladies ready and l'll send a be
down with you to show you the way re:
ponIed the clerk.
We'll, that's clever. Trot out the boy a
the gals has to do is to put their bonncts on
and off he bolted after the gals.
They did not 90 alone. a large part
went with them to see the fun. Birch
Mlnstrel's had an increased audience in COZ
sequence, many Of whom were more diver
ed with the bridal party than they were wit
the jokes of Brudder Bones, and his wit
associates. The party returned to the Gil
son House, and retired almost as soon
they arrived. The next day they were caI
off for home, in high glee over their brid
tour Cincinnati Enquirer.
Cy LAWS law-law-is law; and
in such, and so forth and hereby, and afor
said provided always, nevertheless, notwit
standing. Laws like a country dance
people are led up and down in it, till th'
are tired. LAWS like book of surger
there are a great many desperate cases in
1t is also like a physic; they that take t
least of it, are the best of. LAWS like
homel y gentle woman; very well to .tollo'
LAWS like q scoding wife; very bad VIII
II u,tolto'cs US. LAWS like a new fashio
people are bew,chcd to get into it. 1t
also Ike bad weather most people are q;
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