Keowee courier. [volume] (Pickens Court House, S.C.) 1849-current, 1859-04-16
WAR0E ITW.
From the Ncwberry Rising Sun.

People must like court powerful we'll some
! presume come because they have to, some
because they want to. went there to sec
the thing work, see some fellows squrm,
and the lawyers blow and look biz at the
witnesses. The blue papers with the SUI
prescription on the back arrest the attention
of good many. They arc annoying Gus
toners, and it's singular how it works,
noticed one fellow sued so and so, and so
and so sued that fellow for spite, or as the
lawyers say, by way of lcrtattomis Nice
way to push matters along. O this law
business, the fellow that gets into it gets
into hot water seven times heated, its Fourth
of July times for the lawyers though, and
like big m,tscovy brakes when it rains they
spread out their wings, shake tloir heads,
look very knowing and pleased What a
confoundcd sight of quibblcs and turns
these lawyers have, too, you'll sec one fell
low jump up and object to this and that,
then another one will object to first ones
objection, when tho Judge comes out from
behind his spectacles and upsets BOTH
Well I'm satisfied of one thing, justice is a
little lame in courthouse People 90
to law to get justice, like some who 90 to
the Springs fol health. We'll they may,
but the idea strikes me they will have to
pay for it. What a strange set these law
ycrs are, they get up and give something
particular bringcr, and next day give par
ticular fits to what was praised up at first
as the sumum bonum. Might as we'll 90
to goats house for wool, as go to law for
justice, for it amt there the poor fellow
when he gets in the laws mcshcs, like a
bouse-hy in SPIDERS web, is soon fixed
fast, and never gets away till his blood is
all sucked out, but the rich like the biz
blue bottle hy, break through and get out,
Every day you hear some fellow talk about
going to law, and what he'll do, now one
of these lawing men pleased me good deal
1T seems he had a case in court, for he sat
close beside a lawyer. Well witness was
brought up, lawyer opened on him and he
got bothered, this pleased the fellow, and
his eye winkcd as much as to say this side
up with care, all right When lawyer on
oppostc side spoke, could sec the fellow
vince, looked like he might have had lock-
jaw, and imagined himself goncr Well
his lawyer got up again and had heap to
say, so the fellows countenancc frightened
up, and he'd shake his head, pat his foot,
and was satisfied he thought it was dead,
certaiu. The jury went out, and in less
time than You could say q John Robinson,
Esq" came back, handed in blue paper,
and clerk read verdict for plaintiff, damages
so much. You've seen cabbage leaf after
three weeks drouth in summer, so YOU
canimagine how that chap looked he wilt
ed down, and the last time | saw him he
had tumblerin his mouth and forty drops
of areddish looking fluid hiding itself nm
der his calico vest, trying to sing
a glass is good glass is good, and u pipe
tosmoke in hot Weather,
But law is bad, and the lawyer is worse, and
I'm blamed stnrid fellow"
No doubt that same fellow thought before
he left home that case was his'n, his lawyer
said so, and all he had to do was to sue
Now reckon he's satisfied that law is law
and court is court. think chap is Il
heap better off out OF court than in it. /
like the Judge, aud the jury, and the law
ycrs, | like their liquor and their cigars.
but | don't like tho practice of court. |
wouldn't like to go to court ] wouldn't
like to 90 to court, for when fellow gets
IN once, Heaven only knows when he get
out DO you know I've great notion to
study law; there's lots of speeches in me,
big ones and little ones, and | think |
could let them out with considerable fuss.
Now there's nothing like fuss in speech,
It's the oil that makes it work easy IL sets
off, and people think you are playing the
very gentleman with the long tail, Tn
sorter like Sheridan, its in me and its cot
to come out, aud / don't know better
place than the Courthouse Yes, sir, the
more fuss the better it goes down. just
like crcuss it captiyatcs the people.
can take the people. III study law; I'll
60 into court and eaptivate the court.
think | can do well, for III sue everybody,
and persuade everybody to sue everybody
else, bring thcn into court and there they
will stay until they pay out Court, law,
mighty dangerous customers people be-
lieye in it, They go to law to get righted
and generally get worsted Now sir, I'd
give man, my coat, oil the money | had,
in my present belief, before 1 would vii.
lingly 60 to law. If | was lawyer
wouldn't care how many cases I'd have, I'd
take them all but go to lazy
And after sixteen years is spun.
Matters withstand where they first begun.
In,conclusion, i mustoxpress my satisfac-
ton at the Judges cash system, L like that,
pay as you go, is the way tosdo business,
whether in Weighing out sugaror measuring
out law. He'd make a fortunc ii ho was
only pcddling out sixpenny loavcs of bread
to little childrcu's mothers"