Mountain Democrat. [volume] (Placerville, El Dorado Co., Cal.) 1854-1860, 1859-08-20
The Hoosier and the Salt Pie.
by DANPoKTH MARBLE.

%. w ""uc Soou many phSSaScS over Inc
Allcghcnics, and across Ohio, from Cleveland
to Columbus and Cincinnati all over the
South down Fast and up North, in stages,
and generally had good time.
When ] passed over from Cleveland to
Cincinnati the last time, in the stage, | met a
queer CrOwd-Such a corps such a time
you never did see; never was better amused
in my life. We had good tcam-spanking
horses, and one of the drivers you read Of.
Well, there were nimc insiders, and don't
believe there ever was stage full Of Chris
ttanS, ever started before SO chuck full of
music. "
There was beautiful young lady going
to one of the Cincinnati acadcInics; next to
her sat a Jew pe,l,ller-f5r Gowes md n mar
kct; wcdSing him in was dandy blacklcg,
with jcwclry and chains around his breast and
neck -cnou sh to hang him. There was my
self and an oil gentleman, with large spccta-
clc>, sol,hcalcl cane, and jolly soldering
iron booking nose; by him was circiis-rilcr,
whose breath was enough to breed yellow
fever, and could bc felt just as easy as cotton
velvet. \ cross old woman came next, whose
Lu1- would -haYc Siycn any reasonable man
the douhlchrcastcd blues before breakfast !;
along>ihc Of her was n rale baellwoolS prta .
cher, with the biggest anluglcSt mouth ever
g0t up sine the iloGl. lie was ilankcd by
the low conmcdian Of the party, an Indiana
hoo~"r, 'gwinc down To get an army contract,
To supply the forces then in Mexico with beef
I'VE rolled along for some time nobody
seeming inclined to open. The old aunty sat
bolt upright, looking crab apples and priSin.
mons at the hoosior and the preacher; the
yourg lIly Dropped the green curtain Of her
| q hnri ir nt,.1 l.nn ,,,l.
in her scat To nod and dream over japohicaS
aud jmmblcS, rantalrtts ard poetry; the old
gentleman, proprietor OF the Barlolph nose
looked ont at the corduroy and the SwaShc> !;
the gambler fcll or into done, and the circus
covy followed suit, leaving the preacher and
me ri~-'-rx, aud saying nothing to nobody.
'Tnlianny, lie stuck his mug out of the
window, and criticised the cattle we now and
then passed. was wishing somchody would
give the conversational start, when 'lndiamny'
made break
"ThiS amt no great stock county, says
he to the Old gentleman with the cane.
''N", sir, says thc old gentleman. There's
very little grazing here, and the range Is most
worn out.
Then there was nothing said again for
some time. Binchy, the hoosicr opened
again
It's the d-cSt place for silnmon trees
and turkey bnzzarlS, | ever did scr'
The old gentleman with the cane didn't
say nothing, and tho preacher gave long
Groan. The young lady smiled through her
veil, and the old lady snapped her eyes and
looked sideways at the speaker.
"Don't make much beef here, reckon
says ;hc hooSirr.
''N". says the gentleman.
'Wcll, don't see how in hi they all
manage to get along in country whar thar
amt 10 ranges, and they don't make beet.
\ man aint considered worth cuss in Indi.
amy what hash got his brand on hundred
head
"NourS is great beef country, believe
says the Old gentleman.
WEI, sir, it amt anything else. \ man
that's got sense rnu;r To follow his own COW
bell with amt in no danger Of Starvn. lin
gwinc down to New ORGANS to see il cant
git n contract out of Uncle sam, to feed the
boys wh1t'S been lickn them internal Mrxi-
cans 50 bad. S'poSc you've seed them GUS
Scd lies what's been in the papers about the
lndianny boys ut Bony Visty.'
I've read some account Of the battle
says the old gentleman, that didn't give a
ilattcrinS account oC the conduct Of some of
our troops
With that the Indianny man went into a
full explanation Of the affair, and, gcttn
waImcd up as he went along, began to cu>s
and swear like he'd been through dozen
campaigns himself The old preacher listen
cd to him with evident signs Of dsplcasurc,
twi>tin aud groanin' till he couldn't stand It
no longer.
My friend says he, you must excuse
me, but your conversation would be n great
deal more interesting to mc-nnd I'm sure
would please the company much bcttcr-ir
you wouldn't swear so terribly. It's very
wrong to swear, and hope you'll have respect
for our ir'lin', If you amt no respect for
your Maker.
II the hoe sicr had been struck with thun
der and lightnin' he couldn't have been more
completely tuck aback. lie shut his mouth
right in the middle Of what he was Sayin,'
and looked at the preacher, while his face got
rs rcd rs fire.
''Swcarn', says the old preacher, is Il ter.
riblc bad practice. and there amt no use in It,
now how. The biblo says, swear not at all,
and s'posc YOU know the commandment
about Swrarn' =
'thc old lady sort Of brightcnvl up-thc
preacher was her 'duck of u man. the old
fellow with the nose and cane let off Il few
umphS ah, umphS; but 'lndianny' kept
shady, he appeared to be corrd down.
81 KNOW says the preacher, that great
many people swear without thnkin' and some
people don't believe the Bible
And then he went on to preach n regular
sermon again swcarin, and to quote Scripture
like he had the whole Bible by heart. In the
course of his argument he undertook to prove
the Scriptures to be true, and told us all about
the miracles and prophcsics, and their fulfill
mcnt. The old gentleman with the cane took
part in the conversation, and the hoosicr lis.
tened without ever opening his head
'Tvc just heard Of a gentleman says TIC
preacher that's been to tho holy land, and
went over tho Bible country. Tt'Sastonishing
to hear what wonderful things he has seen.
lie was at Sodom and GomorrOw, and seen the
place where Lots wife fell I
'Ah! says the old gentleman with the cane.
Yes, says tho preacher, 'hc went to the y
very spot; and what's the NEST remarkable
thing Of all, hc seen tho pillar Of salt what
she was turned into
is it possible says the old gentleman.
Yes, sir, he has seen tho salt, standin' there
to this day.
WHAT says tho hOosicr, real genuine
good sSltV
Yes, sir, q pillar Of salt, just as it was
when that wicked woman was punished for
her disobcdiencc'
'All but the gambler who was snoozing in
the corner Of tho coach, looked at the preach
cr-thO hoosiGt with On expression of coun-
tcnanco that plainly told that his mind Was
powerfully cohViett6 Of an important fact