Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1859-05-07
$3.50 4 YEAR.
Fact, Fancy and Fun.

A H1eH REsT.-A hole in the crown
of your hat
/ TO keep water ont you use pitch;
to keep it III you use a pitcher.
How to make tall man short:-
ask him to lend you hundred dollars.
An untarnished character is Of
vastly more Importance than glossy
boots
No tree takes so deep root SO
prejudice, none so difficult 20 eradicate
and kill.
How should husband speak TO
scolding Wife, Ny dear, 1 love you
stiN.
Why was the first day Of Adam.
life the longest? Because it had no
Eve.
Why is Pixies Peak like a tanning
mill? Because it blows all the light
heads of.
-"That's my business,' as the
butcher said when he caught the dog
killing his sheep.
"A printer has this in common with
a postmaster, he picks up letters and
distributes them.
81 am particularly uneasy on this
point as the fly said, when the boy
stuck him Oh the end Of needle.
Why is a benevolent lady like all
others Of her sex? Because one is a kind
woman and the other womankind.
"A strong kind of a hint-a young
lady asking a gentleman to see if one
Of her rings won't fit his little finger.
"A correspondent writing from
Leavenw orth, Kansas, abbreviates the
name Of the town thus: I'll worth.''
-sJeff why am you like the ceder?"
II guys it up, Sam; I can't tell you"
cease you stays green both summer
and winter"
"That motion is out of order," as
the chairman of political meeting,
said, when a rowdy raised his arm to
throw aa egg. .......
IL haven't another word to say,
wife--I never dispute with fools. -
mo, husband you are very sure to
agree with them"
A dancing master was taken up at
Natchez, lately, for robbing new
boarder. He said he commenced by
cheating printer, and after that every
thing rascally came easy to him.
"A contemporary wants to know
the exact number Of toes in the foot of
q mountain. Also the number and
color Of teeth in the mouth Of river.
Honesty, says Jerrold, without
sharpness in this world is like sword
without edge Or point-very well for
show, but Of no real use to the owner.
Husband, I must have some
change to-day"
"Weil, stay at home and take care
Of the children-that will be change
enough"
81 wish," said beautiful wife to
her studious husband-'I wish l was
d book - wish you were-an A.
21gc:puc," replied her loving lord, "and
then / would geta new one every year"
Just then the silk rustled.
1t is proposed to light the streets
Of village not thousand miles from
this place with red headed girls If
We live there we'd play tipsy every
night, and hug the lamp post.
-'Ienry, love, l wish yousswould
:. throw away that book and talk TO me
i feel 50 dull" "a long silence and
TO reply.) cob, Henry, my foot's
aslee p"
rs it? Well, don't talk, dear, you
might wake it,
! A chap from the country was
walking along Broadway, New York,
and stumbled into a lawyers Office, in
ouired, ''What do YOU keep to sell"
:.block-heads," replied the lawyer
:'Pretty fair business I guess" says the
chap, Il see You have only got one
left:"'
-"Come here, sister" said a Young
gentleman to a little girl, to whose Sis
ter he was paying his address; you are
the sweetest thing Oh earth.
No / ain't'' she replied, 'sister says
i yoqr are the sweetest"
i The gentleman ''poped the question"
the next day.
! -"Pa, how long does the Legislature
) SIT ?'' ...-
s:T'hree OF four months, my SON"
e.Vhat set Of geese they must be !,
our geese set Only FIVE weeks -
j 1T is getting late. my son, YOU had