The Kansas herald of freedom. [volume] (Wakarusa, Kan. Territory) 1854-1860, 1859-12-10
DisceIiaNeops.
A Regular Squirt.

cars dSOI WHICH WAS IOuuSotcE, L
became an assistant of DR.. B., the super
intendent Of public lunatic asylum, in
what town it does not matter-the loca
ton don't affect the narration in the least
As in all insane asylums, some of cur
patients were docile and tractable, and
had the freedom of the house and high
walled garden, while others, being violent
and dangerous in their madness, were
confined to their rooms.
Sometimes one of these latter gentry
would get loose, fact he Immediately
announced by breaking things generally
upon which announcement the Doctor
would repair to the spot at which he was
"eleyating the ancient Henry" and ad-
vancing upon him with a steadfast gaze,
would fsscinate him as a black snake
does cat-bird, and march him off to his
room instanter. The doctors eye was
never known to fail, and he impaired such
portion of his literally charming quail
ties to my fellow assistant and myself,
that we were able to master an ordinary
maniac, although the doctor himself had
to attend to the tough customers"
We had one lunatic by the name Of
Smith, with large feet, as tall as Tom
Hyer, and as strong as an ostrich, besides
being possessed of as strong digestive
powers as that interesting bird, for he
once got loose and swallowed so many
cents that he ratified them when he walk
ed, yet he showed no injurious effect from
the meal.
He had broken out Of his room two OF
three times, but had always gone bacl,
very quietly when any of US made our
appearance.
The asylum had saloon in the center
with door at each end /; and one oil
these doors requiring fixing once upon Q
time, carpenter was engaged upon it,
when in trundled Mr.. Smith, and pos.
sessed himself of long, sharp chisel
When the carpenter looked around, the
madman gave grin and a poke of the
chisel at him whereupon the terrified
man of chips scuttled out and locked the
door-then, while the enemy was batter.
ing away at it, he rushed around and
locked the door at the other end.
Having thus Gagged the ostrich, he gave
the alarm l, supposing it was an ordi.
nary case which could easily control
unlocked the door and entered boldly
whereupon he made rush for me, and
incontinently bolted.
Tho Doctor was sent for. He came
and after accommodating through the key
hole, and ascertaining the enemy was a
the other end of the room, he opened tn
door, and saw at once that his eye woult
fail him in this emergency.
Here was apparently dilemma. Her
was certainly a problem. Gicen A era
~ individual, as strong as bull, perfect
ly uncomfortable, and armed with a weap
on. Required How to catch him.
To capture him by force was Difficult
and dangerous undertaking, and to starv
him out would be tedious affair.
But the doctor did not hesitate a me
ment.
alfred" said he, "go down into til
surgery, fill the largest syringe with hart.
horn, and bring it up"
l caught the idea, rushed down an
brought back quart syringe flied wit
Observation-Disclosures l didn't want
kill the man.
Then the Doctor Jones and myse
formed an army of invasion. We tire
open the door and entered in the follow
ing battle array.
], being the shortest of the thre
marched first, holding a chair in front
me by the back, so that the legs mig
keep off rush if our pop-gun flashed
the pan. Then came Jones, with Il
syringe resting on my shoulder like
piece of flying artillery.
Finally, in the rear, in the safest plac
like all great generals, came DR.. B.
The lunalic sat at the other end of t
hall on chair, eyeibg us keenly a
savagely. Slowly, very slowly, we a
vanced towards him. It seemed TO 1
that we were several miles apart, fro
the length of time it took to approa
him. The nearer we got the more wick
that chisel looked, and the handle seeI
ed to increase until it was as long as
broom stick. When we got within f
feet of him he jumped up and spra
towards me.
My recollections of matters and thir
for about thirty seconds are somewhat
distinct. have vague idea that bl
from the butend Of the ohisel knock
Jones into neishboring conservatory
= -plants--while we'll directed left han,
sent me flying into tool-chest. I
luuatic then grabbed the squirt-gur
placed the "nozzlo" within about o.
eight Of an inch of the Doctors eye-fi
whiz splatter! splash it would hi
felled an OK and drowned him afterwa
Il draw curtain over the terrible cat
trophe /! The Doctor collapsed al
scene of all this strange eventful histo
was a dissolving view of the lunat
coat-tail, as he flew through the windt
We never saw him again. He carr
with him the survivors, best wishes.
the squirt-gun. But the Doctor atten,
no more patients for ninety days.
OF The different uses of words
England and in this country are inter
inc I1mher which with rs is ami