The weekly Portage sentinel. [volume] (Ravenna, Ohio) 1854-1861, 1859-03-03
'F'Nl,' = - y "a 7 - = -
Champagne; 1;
HOW THE CAPTAIN PAID HIS BILL.

1
you my bill, which you will perceive has
been running for some time and now
hand it to you with the full expectation that
you will square it before night"
This language was addressed to gentle
men by the proprietor of a second.rute hotel,
while the former, who had just lit cigar,
was in the act of drawing on pair OF we'll
worn kid gloves, previous to taking his
usual morning walk. The Captain was one
of a claes we'll known in all cities. Anomal'
Gus as it mny seem, everybody knew him,
and yet nobody knew him. His circumstan-
ces in life, his business and antecedents,
were alike shrouded in most impenetrable
mystery. Beyond an occasional "quarter"
which he usually fshed up from the depths
Of his trowsers pockets. he was never known
to have ery money. He Had side.pocket
in his coat which was pretty well filled with
greasy papers, to which were attached seals
as big as Revolutionary cockades; but no.
body knew their import, although there Used
to pe vague surmses among the other board
crs as he frequently poured over them
The Captain was always wont to look neat
and trim. His castor and his coat, verging
upon "the sere and yellow leaf" were d.
ways brushed to the last extreme, and his
boots wefe polished in the brightest style Of
the sable pro'esscFsssSt. Captain Fitzim.
mons took the profTered bill.
aha ha 'pon my honor" said he, glanc-
ing over The ltems-"this is not a very round
bill, and I presume: Fcan square it at an early
day, Mr. Bibulous and declare, Mr.. Bibu,
Ious, that it is, to my thioking, very moderi
ate bill. Let me see;-tbree months board
at twenty dollars. Moderate, sir; very
motetate:H
"C"pt. Fizimmons," said Bibuous, who
y: hqd not yet imbibcd q 9uantum suOicH 0!
cocktsils to mike him "mi"ble-"Captain
FFEmIhoo arAfRe~ords butter no parsnips.
and honeyed words don't pay rent, gas bills;
or the liquor merchant. You ere into me
bout feet row, and yon mist take very
early opportunity to get out of me-, or the
house"
"sir - sad the indignant and highly Of
Tended Captain, drawing rom his sd~- -pock-
q, his bundle OF greasy papers-"Sir, do you
know, that |, to whom you are talking tfus,
mn the owner of thousand ncres of land in
Nliomi Valey' Am begaar, to be thus
insu!,ed for paltry hundred dolars!"
Thi. out burst. which the Captain intended
MS crusher. had NJ effect whatever upon
BibuIous. Said that ndvdupI:
IL you own ,ha, amount Of land, why in
thunder don't you mortgage a slice, and ante
up, like my other hoardrrs |"
The nstonisb"d Fizmmons drew on his
elves, sc zed his cane, and with dire deter
mination depicted upon his brandy colored
countenance staIked forth.
Aboat the sounding of the second gong
The Captain was on hand, shpafentIy III i
very good humor. But Bibulous would no
unlumber, although he had taken cocktail:
enough TO prcdhce fever hcat. Fact is; h'
looked grim at the Captain, even,while th'
Captain smiled patron'zingly, and walke'
into the dining-room complacently.
e Was it possible that he had sold or mort
!. guged portion cf his land, or even effected
# temporary loan! Not q bit of it; but hi
VI did not want to leave the hotel. He had ruI
!. the gauntlet of the first class hotels On III
u strength Of the Miami Valley land claims
=. and he was determined to make the see5n
class places last.
r. Alter disclosing hearty dinner, he stalk
F. ed into the bar room, lit regalia, and for
IS while sountered leisurely about the room
- At Iehg,h, when a fitting opportunity occur
t. ed, the Captain invited Bbulous into pri
N vate room.
Ie "Mr. Bbulous," said he, giving Els mou:
1t tache twist, "you keep good hotel"
,t BifuFous allowed he did.
e "To keep good hotel, Mr.. Bibalous re
q quires money. 1t is just as necessary q
W grease is to the wheels of buggy"
o Bibuous allowed it was.
81 owe you hundred dollars, and al
er anxious to pay YOU"
re Bibulous had no dodbt about the anxiety
lie 81 wiH pny YOU"
of "Gad to hear it."
nr "But mark me You must aid me in
n. little scheme have concocted."
to "Very good. Anything to get my owl
id PropeI."
d, "You've got good stock of liquors In , o.
al cellar!"
gs "You ought to know--you have sample
e, It,"
he SCOT any good Newark cider!"
of "Yes. Five barrels"
ng "Any empty champagne bottles"
ay "Well, yes--probably thousand
ut them" .....
e. Gall right. my dear friend. will pc
,e. form a miracle--I will not turn water in
he wine exactly, but I'll make apple juice in
- champagne enough to pay my bill"
he "Much obliged to you. II wanted su
h. fascali,y practiced in my house, could
70. IT without calling in yOur aid ata heavy 81
ary ~
HThefe You go-Mmping at unwarrar