The Grand Haven news. [volume] (Grand Haven, Mich.) 1858-18??, 1859-11-30
Miscellaneous Items.

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Vice makes virtue shine. s =
( "A wilful fault has no excuse, and
deserves no pardon.
- A sanctified heart is better than a
silver tongue.
- The best way to humble proud
man is to take no notice Of him.
= Family 1ies-a marriage certificate
and eight children. ~ fs. ~
- The man who loves his fellow man
the King of the Gannibal Islands.
- Indiscretion lays us open tosbe read
by everybody, just like an unsealed let
ter.
= There is no wealth like that which
comes by honest labor and warantable
industry. 4 ss a.. ,s4
- The fellow who shot at" random
has been compelled TO stake a sight" at
the pepitentiary.
: What is it you must keep after
you have given it to another? Your
word. - '-..7s' - -
- A gentleman who spoke of having
been struck by lady's beauty, was ad-
vised TO kiss the rod. ..,...
- An instantaneous method of pro-
dueing vinegar, praise one young lady to
another.
"The only way TO look at lady,
faults exclaimed super gallant, ais to
shut your eyes" ~ gf
If young ladies nowadays did not
become women at thirteen, men would
have better wives. % ..,
- A friend that you have TO buy won't t
be worth what you have to pay for him
no matter how little that may be.
= If you want an ignoramous to res
pect you, "dress to DEATH" and wear
watch seals about the size of brickbat.
= Teacher" My dear boy, it almost
breaks my heart TO punish YOU"
Boy" Then darn il all, why do you
do il fora" a.k
= The young lady who saw a baby
without kissing it, has Acknowledged tha,
her friends bonnet is handsoiner than hel
own.
= Why are country girls cheeks
like French calico? Because they are
warranted to wash and retain their col
or" .-.,....7
- The worst form of ingratitude is tC
refuse to accept favor from the hands o
person TO whom YOU have had the pleas
ure of rendering ono.
- If you love others they will low,
you. If you speak kindly to them the,
will speak kindly TO you. Love is repai'
with love, and hatred with hatred.
- "Husband, I must have SOM
change to-day" "Well, stay at hom
and take care of the children; that vii
be change enough, anyhow +
= Theodore Parker says ga grain o
corn is better than diamond" We be
lieve every old hen in the country vii
agree with him.
- There is man in East Tennessee
who has such hatred for everything ap
pertaining to monarchy that he won
wear a crown in his hat. e.
- Aunt Betsey has said many goo'
things, and among the rest, that news
paper is like a wife, because every ma
should have one of his own.
= The lady who "took stitch in lie
tside," has arrived at the conclusion that
stitch in the hole of her stocking woul
be infinitely more serviceable.
- A new version Of Shakespeare
:" sweet are the uses of adversely" is civ
en- by Mrs. Partington, who reads it thus
"Sweet are the uses Of advertisements.
Mrs. p. is sound.
- ~ am rejoiced, my dear wife, to Sc
you in such good health,' said Sparks
his wife. "Healthl" was the quick r,
tort: "Why have had the plague e.
er since / was married." .5,>s
- "Bridget, where's the gridiron
'"An sure, ma'am, rs jist after giving
to me sisters own cousin, Bridget O'Fl'
herty; the things so full o holes, it's 7
good, tall tall"
= AuIrisb pedagogue recently inform
ed his pupils that the feminine gend'
!, should be applied to all ships and vesse
ahoat, except mail steamers and mems
war. .<~
: -aCome here, you mischievous ra
cal!D 3r"Won't you whip me, father
"No." "Will you swear YOU won't
Eyes" eThen ] won't come, father, f
Parson Atwood says: He that vi
swear win lie"
= A Parson cornered a farmer, who
he seldom saw at his ministration,
, asking him directly, after little repro
of his sin Of omission: "Shall we 81
you at church next SabbathP eye
Ill go---or send hand" s,
- The latest and most wonderful GU
: effected by patent medicine, is said