davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1859-01-08
Sleeping with the landlords Wife.

A friend in Stockbridge, Mass, sends
Us the following anecdote of Rev. Zeb
Twitchell, Methodist clergyman in
full and regular standing, and a mem
Der Of the Vermont Conference:
At one time he represented Stock
bridge in the State Legislature. Zeb.
says our informant, is a man of fair tai
ents both as a preacher and a musician.
In the pulpit he is grave, solemn, dig
nified Z thorough systematic sermon
izer; but out Of the pulpit there is no
man living who is more full of fun and
drollery. On one occasion he was
vending his way toward the seat of
the Annual Conference of Ministers, in
company with another clergyman
Passing a country inn, he remarked to
his companion:
"The last time stopped at that tav-
ern l slept with the landlords wife"
IN utter amazement his clerical friend
wanted to know what he meant.
Il mean Just what | say" replied
Zeb; and on went the two travellers in
unbroken silence, until they reached
the Conference. In the ea!ly part OF
the session, the Conference sat with
doors closed for the purpose of trans
acting some private business, and es-
pecially to attend to the annual exami-
nation OF each members private char
acter, OF rather conduct during the past
year. For this purpose the clerk called
the roll, as was the custom, and in due
time Zeb's name was called.
"Does any one know aught against
the conduct Of brother TwitcheH dur
ing the past year?'' asked the Bishop,
who was the presiding officer.
After moments silence, Zeb's tray
cling companion arose up, and with a
heavy heart and grave countenance,
said he felt he had duty to perform,
one that he owed to God, to the church,
and to himself. He then related what
Zeb had told him while passing the
tavern, how he slept with the landlord s
wife, etc.
The grave body of ministers was
struck az with thunderbolt; althou 5h
a few smiled, and looked first at Zeb,
and then upon the Bishop, knowingly,
for they knew better than the others
the character Of the accused.
The Bishop called upon brother T.
asked him what he had to say in rela-
ton to so serious a charge. Zeb arose
and said:
81 did the deed! I never lie!''
Then pausing with an awful serious
ness, he proceeded with slow ana SOL
emn deliberation:
"Ihere is one little circumstance,
however, connected with the affair,
did not name to the brother. It may
not have muck weight with the Confer
ence, but although it may be deemed
OF tritling Importance, / will state it
When I slept with the landlords wife,
as tod the brother, I kept the tavern
nlyself!"
The long and troubled countenance
relaxed, 4 litter followed, and the next
name on the roll was called.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1859-01-08
For the Reporter.
Margery.
BY HENRY 8. LEE.

Day in golden glory dying,
Music-winds thro' low woods sighing,
Beauty flakes on down-wings flying;
All speak thee,
Dear Margerv.
The Lake -harp's wild and cheerless moan,
The autumn leaves around me strewn,
Summer spiendors withered and Hown,
All speak Of thee,
Sweet Margery.
Heavenly watch star-eyes keeping,
In moonlight beauty landscape sleeping,
Nemory-tears, sad heart weeping,
All speak of thee,
Bright Margery.
Eature-beauty's departed bloom,-
Shadowy darkness of soul gloom
Enshrouded hopcs-devotion' tomb
All speak of thee,
Lost Margery.
Paths cart-lesson trustful learning
Hope-light, pure and holy burning
Spirit thine, TO earth returning
Lead me 20 thce,
Angel iiargery.
December 28th, 1853.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1859-01-08

sH When DR., Johnson courted
Miss Potter, whom he afterwards mar
ried, he told her "that he was of mean
extraction, that he had no money, and
that an uncle of his had been hanged -
The lady by way of reducing herself
to an equality with him, replied :'that
she had no more money than himself,
and that though none of her relations
had ever been hanged, she had 1ftty
who dsserred hanging"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1859-01-08

sV A baby is a mothers anchor
She cannot swing far from her moor
ings. And yet, a true mother never
lives so little in the present as when by
the side of the cradle. Her thoughts
follow the imagined future of her child.
That babe is the boldest of pilots, and
guides her fearless thoughts down
through scenes of coming years. The
old ark never made such a voyage as
the cradle daily makes.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1859-01-08
Yes or No.

One long summer afternoon, there
came to Mr.. Davidson's the most curl
Gus specimen of an old bachelor the
world ever heard of. He was old,
grey, wrinkled and odd. He hated
women, especially old maids, ana wasn't
afraid to say so. He and Aunt Patty
had it hot and heavy, whenever chance
threw them together; yet still he came,
and it was noticed that Aunt Patty
took unusual pains with her dress when
ever he was expected. One dav the
contest waged unusually strong; Aunt
Patty left him in disgust, and went out
into the garden.
''The bear'' she muttered to her
self, as she stopped to gather blossom
which attracted her attention.
"What did you run away for?' said
a gruff' voice, close to her side.
"To get rid of you.''
"1o on didn't do it, did vou?'
''No; you are worse than burdock-
bur.'
You won't get rio Of me neither"
Il won't eh?''
"Only III one way"
"And that?''
"Marry mc..''
what, us two fools get married.
What will people say?"
"That's nothing to us. Come, say
yes or no, I'm in a hurry"
"W ell-no, Them
cry we'll, goodbye. Ishan't come
again"
But stop a bit; what pucker to be
in"
eyes or no?''
Il must consult
"All right; I thought you was Of
age. Good-bye."
"Jabez Andrews, don't be a fool
Come back, come back, I say. Why,
| believe the critter has taken me for
earnest. Jabez Andrews, I'll consid-
er-''
Il don't want no considering. I'm
gons-Becky Hastings is waiting for
me. I thought I'd give you the first
chance. All right. Goodbye"
"Jabaz--Jabez! That stuck-up
Becky Hastings shan't have him, if
die for it. Jabez-yes. Do you hear?
Y-e-sr'
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1859-01-08

STORY CoNTRADICTED.-"B -
the New York correspondent Of the
boston Journal, who is understood to
be the Rev. Mathew Hale Smith, Mrs.
Cnnningham's counsel at one STAGE OF
her case, corrects paragraph which
we copied from the Rochester Union.
He states that Mrs. Cunningham lives
IN Eorty-eighth street.
She is not in "easy circumstances, -
but is reduced and poor. The "elegant
mansion' is house in block on the
new upper street, for which she is in
debted to the kindness of the owner
till spring. Her house is not entirely
furnished; the most Of it not at all: and
what is, is Of the commonest STYLE
She has wasted all the property she
had, and il nos able to take q house of
comfort. All the ordinary avenues of
employment open to most women are
closed against her. The prejudice
against this woman was never stron ger
than now, and, having spent all she had
10 defend herself in courts of law, she
is now very poor, and would keep a
clearinghouse or do any honorable
thing to get living if she could do 80.
Her daughter Augusta has not been
"married to a southern planter" but
to young man in this city, who has
not one dollar to rely upon but what he
earns from day to day; and the rumor
about Helen is as apocryphal as the
rest Of the story.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1859-01-08
The two Sabbath Keepers.

George, what book have YOU there?:''
q One Of D'Aubigne's, father"
Put it up, my son, and take the
Bible; to-day is the Sabbath"
90, but father, this is so good 1t
tell. about the reformation, and chlis-
tians, and perSecutions--and | am so
much interested in it,
"Put it up, my son; it is Gods holy
dav. Take your Bible or your hymn
book, or else sit still and think. 1t is
distractiag to the mind to read such
things
%, father, Il
Mind me, sr.
There was no appeal from this stern
" spoken command, SO George, with
hasty step, flushed face, and an angry
heart, put up his favorite volume. but
he wouldn't take the Bible. Instead,
l.c hurried to a sofa in q distant part of
the room, and threw himself upon it,
sullcn, and thinking ungenorous things
Of ni4 father. He don't care any
thing about reai;ng," he sai1 mentally,
but passionately lie never read his
tory, and don't know how good it is, or
how much one learns. ] think it hate
in OF his t. make me ait here dul and
stupid-that | do-and | won't read
the Bible, for he never explains it to
me. 0 dear, | wish I could go to
sleep"
Mr.. Allen had looked around once to
ace if his son was oheying hlm, anl re
marking DO not leave that place, sir, ;"
he threw his handkerchief over his face,
and again slept.
1t was = warm summers dav. The
windows were all open, ana through
two of them the arbor in the garden
looked very cool and inviting. "If 7
had gone out there with my book"
gruinbled the boy, she never would
have seen me, and | know its no hurt
TO read D'Aubigne. | mean to ask the
minister"
Just then there was great noise; In
came little Archy with the kitten and
a paste board box. Kitty was in great
glee, so WAS Archy. The noise awoke
Mr.. Allen.
"What is that ." he said sternly.
"Me and kit, father; see, kit is rid
ing me to church; get up, you cat"
and off they went.
Stop that, you wicked boy! unhar-
ness that cat, or | shall whip you Sc
verely, sir. O, the inhuman wicked
ness OF children,' he cried, groaning
to himself, "thcy hate goodness. I
can't make them comprehend that it is
the Lords day, as | see"
A sweet voice was heard singing in
the next room, and softly the words
t1oated on the air-''Iie doeth all things
wel.n
"Kate," cried Mr. Allen.
A young girl appeared.
Kate, are you singing songs"
was singing He doeth all things
wcll,'" she replied.
"That amt the question; wasn't YOU
singing songs ?"
i believe, father, it is, though some
thing of sacred song. love it very
much"
"Yes, the carmel mind loves all such
things" replied Mr.. Allen, testify. ct
wish Kate, you would reserve your song
for the rest Of the week. This is the
Lords day, and you are not even to
think your own thoughts. Go sing
broad is the road that leads to DEATH
believe you are all in it. 0 dear!''
Catherine disappeared, but no sweet
sounds and tender sentiment, soothing
and hallowed, came from the other
room. All was silent, while GEORGE
said to himself, Chow father does
grumble on the Sabbath Seems to me
BE love. TO tcold best on that dav."
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1859-01-08
~ A young lady had been receiv-

~ A young lady had been receiv-
ing the addresses Of rich farmers
son near Dayton. The ''parient'' was
opposed to the match, and after the
wedding was come, and the guests as
sembled, prevailed on his son to ''back
out" writing the following letter Of ex-
planation:
to widder M-
you can mara your purity dater to
some Of the fellers as is alters running g
arter her my john has concluded to
huld on he wont be thar SO 90 on with
your rat KILN, 70 more furever
John s. sen.
Another lover who was present offer
ed to take Johns place; and the lady,
with great promptness and propriety,
consented. A license was quickly pro-
cured, and the suddenly accepted stood
up and were married.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1859-01-08

MARRIED PERSONS Don't DO Such
IHINGs.-A trial, involving matters Of
delicate character, in which it was
deemed necessary to establish the ma
ture of an intimacy between the de-
tendant, married man, and a young
woman, took place, day or two ago,
before Justice Hauselman. Among
other evidence offered, a witness, a
daughter of Eve of course, stated that
she bad observed the pair sitting so
very close together that she ''could not
see the daylight between them (graph-
ic description thatO that he had his
arm about her waist, and though her
head was turned away, he frequently
stopped down and kissed her lips, and
she returned his carasses ardently.
"You say you did not see the lady's
face, Miss-?'' queried one of the
counsel. GLOW then Go you know that
the woman the defendant embraced
was not his wiGe:''
His wite-2shaw! Do you think I
haven't scn8e?'
"Whcther nature has or has not pro.
vided you with the average amount Of
brains madam, is not the question" re-
marked the attorney, pompously.-
''Please answer the one ask"
care you in earnest, sir?''
"Of course | am, madam!''
sWell then, sir, you don't know
much. | know they wern't husband
and wife when I saw them kissing each
other, for hubands and wives don't do
such things. ~ Gin. Enquirer.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1859-01-08

CoNsUNDRUM.-If it takes two line.
to make an angle, how many does Il
take to make an angle worm
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1859-01-08

was better than rebuke, and the boy,
young as he was felt it; and learning a
lesson he would not soon forget.
The bells were ringing-Henry had
returned looking fresh and glowing
The girls were all prepared for meet
ing.
"Well, my children, have you passed
pleasant Sabbath % asked the father.
Beaming eyes and ready lips answer
ed.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1859-01-08

IRISH WIT.-Here is a specimen of
Emerald wit that isn't SO bad. On the
Cambridge Bridge there was a toll of
one cent (now abolished.) Two Irish
men appeared from Boston rather di-
lapidated at appearance and having
''nary red" with which to pass the gate.
A passer by, on solicitation gave one
of them penny; but how should this
avallta get them both over? After
''1aying their heads together" one of
them approached the toll keeper and
asked. 'FSure all how much is it to go
oyer::' "a penny piece" was the
reply. "Arrah, low, and may I carry
:. bundle Or my bacil?''
GAS much as you please" said the
tolIman.
Pat very deliberately stepped back,
and taking Mike on his shoulders, walk
ed up boldly, and depositing his penny
marched on with his burden to about
the middle of the bridge, when they
changed places, and Mike toted Pat
over to the Cambridge side. The pen
ny saved was well earned, the bridge
being long one.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1859-01-08

~ Dickens is said to be maxine
100000 per annum, by bis readings.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1859-01-08

49, Tom strikes Dick over the
shoulders with q rattan as big as your
little finger. A lawyer, in his indict-
ment, would tell you the story as fol-
lows: "And that, whereas, the said
Thomas, at the said place, on the year
and day aforesaid, in and upon the
body Of the said Richard, against the
people Of the State Of Pennsylvania,
and their dignity, did made o violent
assault, and inflicted great many and
divers blows, kicks, cuffs, thumps,
bumps, contusions, gashes, hurts and
wounds, damages and injuries, in and
upon the head, neck, breast, stomach,
hips, knees, shins and heels of said
Richard, with divers sticks, canes,
poles, clubs, logs of wood, stones, dag
gers, dirks, swords, pistols, cutlasses,
bludgeons, blunderbusses and boarding
pixies, then and there held in the hands,
fists, claws, and clutches Of him, the
said Thomas.
Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1853-1862, 1859-05-06
war IneVitabIe,

New YoRK, May 5-The Continental news i
alarming. Austria has sent her ulimaiuu 10 Sar.
DINA, demanding disarmament and the disposal o.
volunteers Three days given for reply L
it is refused war will be declared Eighty thou
sand more Austrians have been ordered to Tacino
Austria has rejected EBglaud's final proposition
The French .roops moving towards Piedmont
There is panic en- the BOurse
NEW YORK, May 5.-The three days given by
Austria TO Sardinia expired on the 28th. England
telegraphed TO Vienna strong protest against Aus
tria's menace Austria refused 10 reconsider aud
has already prepared a manifesto to accompany her
declaration Of war against Piedmont.
The Easter holiday prevented the full effect of the
news in Eugland.
Three per cent. fell three francs on tine Paris
Bourse.
Englsnds proposition to Austria was for gem
eral disarmament and for the admission of the Ital
lar States TO the Peace Congress. All the Powers
except Austria asented to this.
General Marmora had telegrsphed the French
Government, that the Austrian army had made
significant movement stTategetical line of
Tlcino, and he feared an attack al any moment.
Napoleon had council with the ministers.
The King of Sardinia also held council with his
ministers.
The Constitutional announces that part of the
army at Paris has been ordered to be ready to
march.
The English journals think The last chance Of
psace has about vanished.
Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1853-1862, 1859-05-06
ARRIVAL OF niagara.

New YoRK, May The steamer Niagara las ar.
rived at Halifax, bringing Liverpool dates Of The
s3d. Cotton sales offive days %, 600 bales Of Which
spectators took 600 and exporters g. 500 bales
AliddIiug and lower qualities declined / is to /
Fair qualities unchanged Sales on Thursday {. 600
bales, of which Spectators and exporters tooi 600
bales; Market closed steady.
Manchester adviees unfavorable very dull. bat
steady There has bean no regular market since
Tuesday.
Stock at Liverpool 432, 900 bales, of which s57,
600 bales are American
Provisions firm; Breadstuffs steady; Corn steady,
advanced Isl Sugar duh; Money market unchanged;
Consols 94!; Bullion in the Bank has decreased
e545, 900.
Havre market quiet, Orleans Tres Or9iaayis lO7f
Bias 1927
Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1853-1862, 1859-05-06
From Washington.

WASHINGTON, May Our Government does not
believe that the British minister is acting under the
advice Of his government, but that the latter will
be instructed TO recogniz3 the Juarez Government.
A number Of vessels viii be dispatched to the
Gulf to protect, as far possible the lives and pro-
perty Of American citizens.
McLane expresses undOubtsd confidence il the
success of the Jusrez Government
Judge 0radeibaugh Of Utah has been removed.
Judge Greenwood, Of Arkansas, has accepted the
Commssionership of Indian affairs
Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1853-1862, 1859-05-06
The Markets.

ST. LOUIS, May 5.-Flour firm, G.I23 aG25. Vel
low Corn SO. Oats buoyant, y 7Sc. Mess Pork
10 25 Hemp advanced s..
CNoINEATI, May Flour dull. Sales 400 Ibis
40 $50 Whis&ey % Lard firm. Sales GOO
bbls and tierees, 10s II. Sugar quiet, II a72
New YORK, May Cotton quiet Sales unim.
porant Whiskey 263 p. Sugar firm. Molas-
ses 3S
New ORLEANS, May Cotton, sales 5000 bales
before the steamers news was received. Market
firm. Exchange on London q 95; New York
sight discount a par
Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1853-1862, 1859-05-06
LATEST NEWS
BY TELEGRAPH.
ArrivnI 81 FiIlibnsfers-

NEw 0sIEAss, May 5.--The Quaker Ciiy's mail,
from Pert Prince, the 18th. say tbet The BRIG
African from New York arrived on The l2b, with
IS Il libusters, and 24G guns and other munitions
attempted but failed 10 land at Nuevas Granades
Cuba.
An attempt was made on tie an, hut the boat:
sHsmped aed the munitions were lost, The Arr.
can received one thousand dollars in advance. The
Spanish Consul al Hayti noti6ei Conchs, who dis
psteheds steamer TO capture them. Nothing has
been heard from the other fillibus err vessel.
Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1853-1862, 1859-05-06

NEw YORK May 5.-The sLamer Canawba with
Havana dates of the 30th has arrived, bringing
100000 in specie from New Orleans.
Hayli adviees indicate perfect quiet and increas-
ing popularity of Gefrard.
Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1853-1862, 1859-05-06
American lIedicaI Associatlon

LOUISVILLE, May 6-The American Medical As
sociaton adjourned at noon to day, to at New
Haven, Conn on the second Tuesday in June 1860.
Dr. Eli Ives was appointed Junior Secretary.
Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1853-1862, 1859-05-06


TENSEssRE HISTORICAL SOCIETY. AT the Capitol,
on Wednesday afternoon last, May Attn, called
meeting Of The Society took place
Hon joins NJ. BRIour was proposed and uuan,
imously elected en- Honorary member.
The resolutions below we're thea adopted:
l. Resolgsd That the thanks of the Society be
presented TO RANDALLW. MAcGAvocK, Esq, for the
admirable portrait Of The Hon. FEIIx GRUNDY, set
in such a costly and beautiful frame.
>. Reso7pea, That tho thanks Of The Society be
rendered to Hon JOHN NJ. BRIOuT, for his address
HpOn the Life, Character end Poblie Services of
Hon FELIX GRuNDy, and that the manuscript be
requested FOR preservation in the Archives Of The So
ciety, with the privilege of publishing.
3 ResOlgsd, That the thanks % the Society are
due the various Comps ues and Societies. military,
civil and benevolent, for their polite attention and
presence at May anniversary, the evening past,
and are hereby publicly rendered
The Society then adjourned.
Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1853-1862, 1859-05-06

PHILADELPHIA, 5Iay 5-Judge Vondersmih was
convicted of forgery, and sentenced 90 gears in
prisonment, aud fine Of $4,000, and 10 restore TO
the Government $40 900.
Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1853-1862, 1859-05-06

1sfR SSAHer'S SanaQidA VERNE
20 RUGE is free from great objection to other
worm medicines; contains neither mercury any Of its COR
and yet much expeditions and certain in
its ensor action sn any eremedes, called,
thai are impngnated With mineral poisson.
BE particular and remember the ''Winers Canadian
Vrnfuge" This the OILY article that be relied Re-
member this
For sale in NeE Orleans, Wholesale and retaiIby
J. WRIGHT & CO., Sole Propretors.
For sale in Nashville BY BERRY DE4ovLrE and by
6 Brown may 6 ,tESwIm
Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1853-1862, 1859-05-06

CINCINNATI, May 3 LANES n. Duboia, clerk Of
the Hamilton and Dayton Railroad, got $1,000 on n
forged check on the Lafayette Bank, and has ab.
seconded
Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1853-1862, 1859-05-06
DIR. KINGS DISPENSARY
FOR PRIVATE DISEASES.

IT. Or. King, formerly New York, the lsstfour
HNEk years Of Louisville, Kentucky, and who has de-
voted his aentct OF private diseases for over
thirty wears himself having attended to practice for SO
many thousands, he is enabled to cure
Al diseases private nature, matter how had thgy may be
from fdudcous mgdca treatment, from negdct OF their
DR. Kings Dspenssry is No % DeadercE street, between
cherry and the square where he s diseases Of private
GoNoRHEk cured without naucOus medicine nteergncs
from business 49, -,r--.--,,----, :, - -
as nv al operation which pain Where Structure
S health cannot be enjoyed Perhaps no disease causes
more mischief snd undemnes the constitution so much
with all the diseases Of the skim growing out Of neg
- r 20 treatment e9ecuay cured in few days
SRrya WEAKNE particular attention having been given to
his disease and the consequences growing Ou Of H. brought
N - ~ cages bv the destructive habits Of nconsiderats
Sbs and excessive Indulgence OF the passions neglect O.
bi undermine the constitution, renieFing e sueet oph
for business or society, and causing premature ola age
Females may be sboring Win any dcUS Oi 's "ou'
NAV rest assured Of immediate relief ,-- -,
Persons residing abroad by writing and stating thelr case, win
Zee enclosed directed Dr. A King, No. . Dearck street
NsgbyiIIe Tennessee will have the necessary eclns sent
e adde's with necessary directions strict secrecy observed
e hours from O'Clock in the morning until sn the eVenin
may 23-d&wly