The western Democrat. [volume] (Charlotte, N.C.) 1852-1870, 1859-12-13
From the Clcaveland Times.
DIVING FOR A WIFE.
4 UhGkc FIShiny Bus ness.


We observe that nearly all the children born
lately la one Of the eastern counties of Ohio are
boys. At this rate in few years the girls will
all disappear from the region and it will be neces-
sary for the young men to remove to Nantucket
and Nartha's Vineyard and marry the widows of
wrecked whalers. They will have to be CAREFUL
however, not to get into such box young
man did few year ago. Determined to embark
in matrimonial speculation, he jOurneyed to the
Vineyard and found charming widow" who at
once captured all that was mortal of him. and the
twain became one flesh. Alas however, for hu-
man hopes The gallant sailor, who it was known
had been wrecked in the northern seas, swan to
the coast of kamschatka, where he was Hospitality
entertained and finally placed on board Russian
ship, by which he found his way to Calcutta, and
eventually to the vine clad shores of New England,
His surprise can better be imagined than described,
when he found his little home occupied by clever
New York chap, who had taken the responsibility
moreover, of anpropriatng the sailors fishing
boat.
The woman didn't swoon-the blueeyed girls
of New England are not of the swooning family.
The Workers. eyes, however, opened to amaz-
ing width when he discovered the condition Of
affairs. Bat the transaction was legitimate one
and the sailor not long in deciding upon plan.
The willing to take either of them,
and the sailor proposed that the one who could re-
should be considered the fortunate man. Both
were regular water men, but the sailor had trav-
eled. Sharks not common in the harbour but
they sometimes stray into the vicinity and a
divers imagination always embraces a possibility
of coming in contact with ''Saw-teeth.'
The two went under simultaneously, but from
positions considerably separatcd-the sailor from
the bow, the Yorker from the stern. The former
who could hold his breath like pear-fSher,
not long in finding his way along the bottom of
the fishing craft to the vicinity of Yorker, whose
legs he contrived to jostle.
"Hamlcts ghost could not have added any
terror to the Yorker who almost bounded out of
the water and WAS pulled into the boat by the
dear woman, who also shouted NEST No.iferously
to alarm her early spouse he latter, however
cautiously wormed his way back to the bow of the
boat and deliberately rose to the surface, when
his two companions pulled him in with unsurpassed
energy.
"Didnt you hear US? You like to have been
swallowed! You nay have the woman; wouldn't
90 in them waters again fer daughter Of Queen
Victoria, said Yorker.
They saw there are sharks in these waters: and
! think l shall keep out Of them said the old
tar.
.Sharks, sir felt one hold of my legs
'.Then we'd better stop swimming here
The yorker" readily endorsed his Judgment
and prepared himself to leave the Vineyard for
the "Chenang countTy'-rcmarking casually. that
he ''might get drunk some time and forget to keep
out of the harbour" Just as he was about to
leave with his little bundle, with tears in his eyes,
and claiming the privilege which was readily
granted. of kissing her whom he had
"Loved not wisely, but too well,''
and from whom he was about to part forever--the
sailor, who could not suppress his feelings stepped
forward and remarked:
"Mistakes viii happen; my wifes got sister
that Amt bad locking; might speak to her; would
do no harm, anyhow"
That bright idea whick had never struck
the yorker"
''l'il study about that"
He did study, married the blooming sister, and
the two men went into partnership in the fishing
business. About 8 months afterward the sailor
incidentally remarked:
''That shark that bit you used to catch whales in
the 'Schatka waters aud git swindled ev'ry year
out o his part o the oil by the United States con-
sui at Honolulu; that's the reason they all want
that Office"
The news was not little astounding to tie em-
pire man, whose dreams Of saw-fsh had caused
him several times TO jump out Of bed in the night