Worcester daily spy. [volume] (Worcester [Mass.]) 1850-1888, 1859-09-05
QNortester Daily Spg.
MR.. PICKLES ADVENTURES.

MI. PlCkLES ADVENTURES,
It's very unpleasant thing, writes Mr..
Pickles, but it often happens to you if you are
married man, just when you are going out
for quiet stroll, or off to the city in a particu-
lar hurry, with the omnibus waiting for you at
the corner ARRAYS in the winter time, when
you have your top-coat buttoned, and your
gloves on-that your wife remembers that she
has no change, or that her purse is in the
pocket OF that other dress up stairs, so, if you
Will "Just give her ga few shillings" lit
might as well be few pounds, for the trouble
is as great to get to them)-
1t happened to me the other day; but who
could have toreseen what it would cost me
Beyond the exertion of pulling on my glove
again, or the irritation of unbuttoning buttons
that became unmanageable in my cold fingers
or the pettishness of saying in hasty spirit,
covered by honeyed words like a chds pow
der i'll treace, "There, take all, my dear p as
emptied my pockets into Mrs. Pickles hand
beyond the annoyance of hearing the omn-
bus drivers impatient cry of "Now-sirre !"
far, far more than this say, did it cost me.
The first annoyance was the forgetting that
L had given away all my spare cash. and
awaking to the discovery that l had not got
even so much as my fare for the conductor
but this did not matter much, for he knew me
well, and was going to draw some money
from my bankers. But the next was trife
more vexatous. When l got out of the ON
nibus to walk across two quiet streets to my
bank, 10! | saw in shop window the very
thing had been long in quest of-the finest
piece of real old Wiltshire bacon that ever
cheered an Englishman's breakfast
Let me have seven or eight pounds of that
bacon p l cried, rushing into the shop.
The obsequious chandler cut something over
the required weight: "Ten shillings and tup-
pence apenny," said he, politely.
put my hands into my pocket and felt the
word "Thief! spread itself all over my face.
| flushed hot and apopectic, then felt cold and
faint till the perspiration at last stood upon my
brow.
l-l-really-mo unpleasant, and awk-
ward-Pve left my purse behind" STAN
mered, with ready but transparent lie.
"Ah, dare say we often have them sort
OF customers" said the dealer but it won't
do. Who's to pay for this here bacon as I've
cut, should like to know!"
"Well, it's very unpleasant, my dear sir,
must confess"
ooh, less of your dear sirs,' please, and
more OF your money p
unreasonable. l don't want to take your
goods without paying for them"
No; and I'll take good care you don't"
depressed in somewhat more forcible terms,
by the admission Of an unnecessary adjective;
"but Pve cut u~
Il wished in my inward soul l could do the
same
rendered my card, but he snorted like
porker over it. He couldn't change that he
said with an ironical laugh. "Mr. Felix
Pickles.! he didn't know no such firm in
Lombard street."
&c. at last, L left my watch with him, with
promise to redeem it and the bacon in an
hour, and went from the shop rejoicing. |
had only to take a cross omnibus to reach my
bank, and then l should be free and indie
pendent as Marylebone elector again. But,
the fare! Well, must walk it. How tool
ish, to be sure, to get in such a pet with Mrs.
Pickles, and give her all my changed l
deserve this inconvenience. So away |
trudged, getting philosophical, and recover
ing my equilibrium Of mind, when a sight
suddenly struck me which aroused all my
sympathies poor, clean, modest woman,
with three of the sweetest children | ever
saw, standing in the kennel, begging, evident
ly, too, from their cast down looks, for the
first time Poor things a newly bereaved
Iam1D i'll. decent mourning none OF your
brawling beggars My hand instinctvely
went into my pocket, and little boy, seeing
the motion, ran by my side. This was the
worst annoyance Of all-worse than what was
~ lOllOM-IOG IL Ildu Ill RESPONSE
to the hungry loOk-the eager eyes dropped in
bitter disappointment, and | went on curSng
myself.
At that moment distracted as | was, my
heel flew from under me felt myself top
ping over, not rapidly, but quietly, like
great ship which a receding sea leaves on the
strand. l knew the cause was orange peel
and had time to contemplate the consequences
(oh what an age OF agony! before | came
down upon, and went clean through, plate
glass shop window, OF such dimensions as
would have led one to believe the window-tax
was still in force, and it was intended to give
light to the whole house, and of such thickness
as made it wonder how it gave way at ALL
with my moderate weight.
Fortunately, fell upon heap of the rich
est Persian shaws, on which my head recin-
ed softly, whilst my legs remained outside
and was yet doubtful whether all conneXion
between the two parts might not have been
fatally severed by the glass, and under the
greatest apprehensions for the fermoral artery
The sensation l created was naturally prodi-
gious: out rushed the shopman, who had new
er seen a customer enter their shop in that
style before A mob gathered, who pulled me
out by the heels, and (such is the strange &C.
centricty and perversity of London mobs)
cheered me Justify, as if had performed some
most successful acrobatic feat or piece of har-
lequinade. In this sentiment the proprietor,
who now rushed wildly out, evidently did not
participate-he did not cheer-but without
concerning himself as to the condition of my
femoral artery, he came to the point at once,
and asked me, in voice shaken by excite
ment:
ado you know, sir, what you have done 2"
eyes," replied, feeling myself all over, 81
should think do; have fallen through your
window"
"And pray, sir" he continued, edo you
know what you will have to do!
"Why, pay for it, J. suppose" replied
again.
precisely" he remarked apparently some
what relieved; but you may not be aware
what is the cost sir-titty 1.-TWO pounds for that
plate of glass"
AT this juncture a policeman, sure but tar
dy, arrived. "Fifty-" l was going to
swear, but saw the magic symbol OF my old
friend 81 227," and actually teh the lightness
of my pockets. 1t was the best to be candid.
81 haven't a farthing about me"
The mob roared at this, and the shopkeeper
said with a sardonic smile, ooh, that's it, is
it"
I fn. ,.1