The Alleghanian. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1859-1865, 1859-11-03
WITaF! MiSD0 III.

ra- Much smoking kills live men and
cures dead swine.
gzs~ What kind of bar is it that opens
and never shuts? Crow-bar.
pa. What tune can make every one
| glad! Eor-t,ete.
Bag~ ''I'm off when you talk of work
ing, as the cork said to the ginger-pop.
E57g- What Roman general do the ladies
ask for in leap-year? Marius (marry U.S.
rca- \ girl describes snake as ga thing
that's a tail all the way up to the head"
psa- The young man who was forbidden
the house by his sweetheart's papa, feels
very much pat oat.
nen- \ husband can readily foot the
bills of a wife, who is not ashamed to be
seen footing his stockings.
RA- Why is the Great Eastern like an
Irish girl? Because one is the Maid Of
Erin, the other is made ofiron.
Ras~ It is with life as it is with coffee
he who would drink it pure must not drain
it to the dregs,
nsa- Why is a FOOLS speech like poor
mans pocket? Because it wants sense
(cents.)
raa. Time is the only commodity or
Gift Of which every man that lives has an
equal share.
geA- Matrimonial history is a narrative
of many lc0rcis, but the story of love may
be told in few letters
Hsa- What is the difference between
London and a man looking over a fence?
Because one is over the seas and the other
sees over.
nSg~ \ boy was asked what meekncss
was! He thought a moment, and said:
"Meekness gives smooth answers to rough
questions"
Aa- What is the difference between
blind man and sailor in prison? Be
cause one can't see to go and the other
can't go to sea.
R3g~ There's great difference between
honor and honesty; the former. it is said.
exists among thieves, the latter certainly
doesn't.
H@y" This is what they call fellow
feeling for man. said loafer, as a
watchman was groping for him in the
dark.
GG- An exchange paper begins forci-
bic appeal to its delinquents with this
touching sentence. 1--WE must dan or be
doze.
Esy~ Excuse me, madam, but I would
Ike to ask why you look at me so very
savagelyI "Oh, beg pardon sir-I took
you for my husband -
EE= y bachelor friend of ours has left
clearinghouse, in which were num-
her Of cid maids, on account of ''the mis-
cradle fair set before him at the table"
la Girls are too often taught in their
early training and education that to get
married rather than to be married Is the
chief object Of their early years
B@g~ According to the Milwaukee Vs,cs,
they have new military company in
Chicago. They drill six times a week.
and have now got so that they can form
straight line-by leaning against fence.
n- "What object do you see?' asked
the doctor. The young man hesitated for
few moments, and then replied: at ap-
pears like 4 j-ckass, doctor, but l rather
think it IS yo,r shaIoic."
Ea- y Yankee who had seen Powers
Greek Slave, and who was asked if he was
not in raptures with it, replied: DWELL.
TO tell the truth. don't care much about
them stone gals"
na. Two men, strangers to each other,
got into a diSDutc, when one Of tharn nv-
claimed, threateningly: Il will let vou
know, sir, that | am Mr. Hodge - ooh.
well, am equal to several of you" said
the other; Il am Mr. Hodges"
nS- II say, Nir. Pilot, amt YOU going
to start soon!' said cockney on a steam
er iying-to during fog. Assoc as the
fog clears up" replied the captain
We'll, it's starlight over head" said the
coekney. ooh yes, but we're not going
that way said the captain.
Eg~ At Oskaloosa, Iowa. Young wo-
man, whose husband came home drunk
the other day, took down an ox-gead, and
chastised him most gloriously-until he
promised not to do so again lie laid the
blame upon friend who asked him to
drink She then foggcd hinl again for
not having frmness to refuse.
asa Boys, if you don't want to fall in
love, keep away from muslin. You can
no more play with those girls without los
ing Your hearts, than you can play with