The eastern clarion. [volume] (Paulding, Miss.) 1837-1863, 1859-09-21
VOLUME XXI. NO. 80.

hatters, shoemakers, and washerwOmen
rode over the necks of my false friends
lived in clover for great many years, and
then getting tired of such a monotonOu.
existence, converted Ruth Naomi's land
ed property into ready cash, and eloped
with pretty, bright-eyed plump, little:
but where? | believe there's such a thing
as fellows telling too many of his plans tC
the public.
The next day called on Ruth Naomi
And the next day called on her again.
And the third day called twice, and the
fourth day three times, and so on and Sc
on in Loves arithmetical proportion.
found her in an out-of-the-way place (sbe
pointed 1t out to me on our first meeting)
domesticated in large family, every mem,
Der of which collected about my chair on
my first visit-rude, ragged, and startling
a. if they had never seen a gentleman be
fore What place for her-a refined, in
tellectual, wealthy woman could have
strangled her brother with good will.
To cut a long story short. my dream
babe fair to be realized, for we were en-
gagged! Transporting thought | wa,
'ngaged to Ruth Naomi, and money IN "a,
bank!
Sometimes | fancied my betrothed wa.
trifle singular, both in her remarks and
behavior. But could hardly wonder al
it. The prospect of being united to such
man was enough to have turned any wo
mans brain. However as the matter
seemed to admit of but little delay Il wa,
afraid her brother would find us out
and prevent the wedding), | hurried
her, with all lovers ardor, and had but a
small amount of time for reflection.
Days passed on, and brought nearer the
eventful one, on which | was to unite my
destiny with that of the beloved Ruth Ma.
om. Feeling in need of a tritle of cash
in order to make those preparations which
are so delightful to an eXpectant bride.
groom, had recourse to a stratagem. Ii
seems that owing to some irregularity in
the mails, had not received my usual
weekly draft from my bankerin New York
At least, so | told Ruth Naomi. OF
course, it was very embarrassing posi-
ton for a gentleman of my means to find
himself in, but then if she could-that is.
if she wouldn't think strange at all-if
she lcoul9 loan me a small amount, why, |
would make it all right as soon as heard
from the city.
"Oh yes, with pleasure, Isaac" she
answered. Come with me-"
She led the way out of doors around
the house to large sand-bank. into which
she commenced digging with both hands.
=" Do you know am sist er to Jonah who
swallowed the whale, and was caught up
to heaven in an ark of bulrushes?" she
inquired, while | stood watching her with
horror and amazement.
What an eccentric darling you are -
Ireplied; and | was about to add some
thing still more tender, when she clawed
out Of the sand an old, mildewed coppet
cent, and laying it in my hand, went to
work again.
didn't say word To say the least, ]
was puzzled; and when after twenty con.
secutive clawings twenty mildewed copper,
lay on my palm, | began to fell a little
queerish.
There" she said, as she gave me the
last one, THAT is all have in the bank.
You are welcome to it, Abraham. Ny
brother has the rest"
"You don't pretend to say" | STAN
mered, turning the pieces over in my
hand, and checking down a strange sensa-
ton that was fastly overpOwering me-
" on dOn pretend 10 say
But didn't get any farther, for Ruth
Naomi-my beloved Ruth Naomi Sapphi-
ra Jezebel sprang at my face like a wild.
cat. She bit me-she scratched me-she
pommeled me she thrust her wiry ell.
bows into my sides, and her wiry fingers
into my hair, until thinking discretion
the better part of valor," | turned and
fed.
But ] didn't escape her. She caught
me, Just as Ihad tumbled into the arms Of
a portly, grey-headed gentleman who wa.
coming round the corner of the street.
Take her off! take her off" | shout
ed, in desperation and blurted the sto
ry of my grievances in less time than il
usually takes for me to make a fool of my
self.
The only sympathy l obtained was
roar of laughter, loud and prolonged
why, bless your soul, man the wo
mans as crazy as a loom, and towT
pauper at that" burst out the old gentle
man, between explosions of merrimen
that well-nigh shook his head from hi
shoulders. Il happen to be overseer fo
the poor this year myself, and know al
about her! tOf, you she-devil, or II
have a straight-jacket on you. !. She wa
crazed years ago by a religious excite
ment, and has imagined herself as rich a
mud ever since. But she's kind of ,
harmless critter, and so we've let her stay
here at the poor-farm with the other pau
pers." And he pointed to the hous,
where | had made so many lovers visits
:" If you'll walk INTO my house Just acros
the road there, while Pm taking care o
this hyena, guess my wife will give yol
some Salve for your face. Iwillb in pres
emily, and"
But didn't stop for the salve or tn,
rest of the sentence. Invent to my hote
and packed my trunk wouldn't like t
say swore, for swearing is an ungentleman
ly habit; and wouldn't like to say | didn'
swear, for, as have told you before de
test lying. And so | will leave it to tn,
readers Imagination whether | made us'
of any expletives or not. But at any rate
| packed my trunk, and the next da!
started for New York. Somehow the sto
~ travelled faster than did, and hadn'
been on Broadway five minutes before
heard something about money in thu
bank"
l haven't got over it yet. Ny health
pOor-my constitution completely shat
tered, and have some thoughts of goin!
into the country somewhere to recruit
But | shan't go to Grafton.