Glasgow weekly times. (Glasgow, Mo.) 1848-1861, 1859-12-29
A Bundle Of Al Sorts.

Who Is the greatest liar? He who talks mos,
of himself.
We can do without The world, but we need
friend.
A boys construction of proverb: ''Spol the
rod and spare the child"
The dog in the kennel barks at his fleas; the dog
that hunts does not feel them.
Age without chcerfuIness is Lapland winter
without sun.
Many rascal is like bell; he was made on
purpose 10 be hanged.
s;Ife price of liberty is eternal vigilance" and
any amount OF il IS 10 be had npon these terms.
A highly sCaudelized'' editor of western
family newspaper, heads his marriage notices
''Lucifer MalcAes."
If you want enemies, excel others; if you want
friends let them excel you-or al least let them
think so.
Avoid an angry man for while--a malicious
man for ever.
WAGEs.-The sweet oil with which human ma
chinery is creased.
BARGAIN.-A iudicreus transa,' non. IN which
each party thiLl he has cheoied the other.
A RE1LE.-k beautiful but useless insec with
oat wings.
DISTANT RELArTovs-People who imagine
they Lave claim 10 roo yon if you are rich, or in
suit you if yon are poor.
HOMES, after telling that dog was shot for BIZ
ting pretty yong lady's leg, SAID it was pity
10 shoot dog with such fine TASTE.
Passion has its foundation in nature; virtue is
acquired by the improvement Of our reason.
Life appears TO be toe short to be spent in nurs-
ing an 'nosities Or registering wrongs.
CRAvE-An ugly hole N the grcrnt, which
lovers and roets wish they were i, bat take IN
common pains to keep cut Of it.
demonstrating friend y7non you denrly
love, through the head, in order to gain The prais-
Is of few others Whom you desplse.
LAwYrR-A learned gentleman, who receives
our money and keeps it himself.
My DEAR-An expression SAID to be used By a
pan and wife at Inc commencement Of quarrel.
Po11cEMAx-A man employed by the corpor-
alton 10 seepin engine houses and theatres, at one
dollar per night.
RUSA fzLIcrTY-Potaioes, turnips, and cab
bages.
STATES EvIukNcE-A wretch who is pardon
WEALru-The most respectable quality of
man.
w0max's TosGuz-A LITTLE horse which is
slwaYs running away.
PrBLn hBrsE-The mud with which every
tareler is spattered en- the road TO destruction.
fook out fo' paint, as the girl said when the
Sellcw went 20 kiss.
An Eneraiser, being charged with stealing
wagon, sHere be had 1t ever since il was wheel
barrow.
A kiss, says an ingenious authority, is like the
Creation. because il Is made of nothing, and ls
Very good.
Young ladies educated to dpspise mankind, gen.
orally finish their studies BY running away with
afoo,maA.
lightning never strikes but cnce in the SANE
place-therefore, let whose first wife was
good one, aereT marry again.
A little man grows iealcus.~ We know of Meth
ing TO compare him to. uriiess it's bottle of gin
ger-pop IN high state Of rebellion.
lily books speak 10 nv mind my friends to my
heart, heaven 10 my soul, and all the rest 10 my
edIS.
An Irish paper announces thai Mr.. Kenny,
returning 10 tssSn, fell down and broke his neck,
but happily received 70 further damage!
A fellow that blaInes The Devil FOR all his own
misGaeds, shows dep'o-able lack of i!lal regard,
Dr. Johnson says, 'sCocd actions are never lost
or thrown away.'' That probably The reason
one SO seldom meets with them.
A iRan is not likely 10 deserve or win the hes-
sings of his children by giving them nnch, as by
teaching Them how 10 live on little.
To marry rake in the hope Of reforming him,
and 10 hire highwayInan in the hope offeciaim-
Ing him, are two very dangerous experiments.
A stranger meeting an editor in the streets of
Boston. few days since, roughly accosted bin
with. Here, want 20 90 10 the fremont House!'
The deliberate reply was, "Well, you can go, if
you don't be gone ,ong!''
A Western hunter recently shot 'hree times al
wolf hundred yards OF, while the wolf sat aud
howle,. al lin. He complains that he didn't have
an even chance; he fred Of hand, while the wolf
took d rest-on his tail.
A dandy who wanted the milk passed TO him, at
n hotel. thus asked for If: "Lsndlady, p lease pass
your cow down this way" The landlady thus
retorted: .'W,'iter, take this COW down where the
calf is blea.ing!"
An Ili.hman meeting country-man, inquired
bis name .Walsh, ;" said the gentleman. 'EWalsh,"
responded Paddy, "are yOG from Dublin? know
two culd maids there Of that name; was either OF
them your mother?"
Wounds, healed when the body is in health,
sometimes break out afrash in sickness; but evil
passions and propensties. that seemed cured IN
sickness, often break cut afTesh in health.
Ee that regulates his conclusion by precedent
tbat u past will generally find himself somewhat
embarrassed when he has 10 20 with power that Is
prlscnt.
western editor says he has seen the contri-
vance the lawyers use when they "warIn up with
The subject Ii is glass concern andhold about
hall pint.
The more liquor a man drinks the thirstier he
Grows. Like craft left by the tide upon the
Beach, he gels high and dry.
81 an afraid Of lightning murmured pretty
TSWeii. Won may be- sighed JespairIng lover,
when yoar heart Is made OF STEEL"
r. 1--WE ,eacesul and happy life, be honest