Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1859-03-05
Fact, Fancy and Fun.

Fact, faIcy ana FUN.
Fierce foes make firm friends.
Gray hairs are the frost work of
age.
Life is company; death is soil
tude.
The heart is often better than the
head.
Pleasant lies, once sown, come up
prickles.
--The wild oats ofyouth change in
to the briars Of manhood.
Great cry and little wool-an
Ethiopian infant, just born.
Why is an egg like q boss? Be
cause 1t is not usable till broken.
1t has been aseertained that .he
man who 'held on to the last" was a
shoemaker.
A writer says, cit is not the drink
ing, but getting sober, that is so terrible,
in drunkard's life"
The proverb, "The longer a man
lives, the more he'll see," can't alluds
to money nowadays.
The newspapers are full of adver.
tisements for plain cooks. We suppose
pretty cooks are Of no account.
I've risen from the bar to the
bench, said lawyer on qHittlng the
profession, and taking up shoemakmg.
An eastern editor cautions his readers
against kissing Short women, as the
custom has made him round -shouldered.
If Beelzebeb should lose his tail,
where would he go 10 get it repaired
TO gin shop where they retail bad
spirits.
Women arc fond of telling us thas
they hate handsome men, but you may
be sure that it is to ugly men that they
say so.
Whatever may be the reputation
of man while alive, when dead he is
generally allowed to be q finished gen.
tlenau7a.
What's the difference between a
blind man and an imprisoned sailor p
One can't see to go, and the other can't
go to sea.
-Foote expressed the belief that q
certain miser would take the beam out
of his own eye, if he knew he could sell
the timber,
Gentlemen asking young ladies to
'share their lot in life" should be par
ticular in stating the size of the lot and
the value per acre.
Why does a lady with wealthy
lovers around her hear more music than
anybody else !? Because she hears sew
eral million-aires at once.
Snooks says the prettiest sewing ma
chine he ever saw was about seventeen
years old, with short sleeves, low-neck
dress, and gaiter-boots on.
An Irish paper announces that q
Mr.. Kenny, returning to town, fell
down and broke his neck, but happily
received no further damage!
"A genius 'E down east" has dis
covered method of manufacturing
from one dandy, monkey, an ape and
three baboons so as to have enough
left for a small "yaller dog"
"'Tis strange,' uttered a young man,
as he staggered home from supper
party, chow evil communications cor
rupt good manners. I've been sur
rounded by tumblers all the evening,
and now I'm tumbler myself
"A pair Of boots were recently made
in Philadelphia, for slave on q southern
plantation, each one Of which is nine
teen inches long, and six and three inch
es across the sole, weighing eight and
ahalf pounds. The darkey must have
cubic feet.
Some people have about as ade-
quate an idea Of heaven as the good
woman whom the neighbors was con-
solny for the loss Of her son. ''If his
grandmother is in heaven" sobbed the
poor woman, IT know she will not see
Billy abused."
Ro,fP1Ss.--Never find fault with
girls, very young girls in particular, if
they are decided ronps; but be thank
ful that they have the health and the
spirits necessary for romping. Better
be 2 romp, than have narrow chest
and flushed cheek.
The Lebanon {Ohio) Star records
the death Of four men from drinking
whiskey with strychnine in it. It also
says that tens Of thousands Of fish in the
stream below the distiliery have died.
Two tons of dead fish have been taken