The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1859-12-10
Joy ina the House of ward.

y
same blessins. line reguVenatid. I've
found the immortal waters of yooth, SO to
speek, & am as timber and frisky as a yer.
old steer, & in the futur them boys which
seq $50 up old bawld he'd to me-, will do
SO al the Peril of their hazard individoo-
ally line powerful happy. Heaps of JOY
has desendid on me to onct d feel like
bran new man. Sumtimes arsk myself
sis it not dream? d suthin within my
self seq cit air.; but when l look at them
sweet little critters know it is reallerty-
2 reallerty may sa-& feel gay. There's
considerable human natur in man, arter all.
Ireturnd from the Summer Campane with
my unparalleled show of wax works and hv-
in wild Beests of Pray in the erly part of this
munth. The peple of, Baldinsville met me
cordjully and immejitly commenst resting
myself with my famerly. The other mite
while was down to the tayurn toastipg my
shins agin the bar room fire d amuzih the
krowd with sum of iEy adventurs. who
shood cum in bare heded d terrible excited
but Bill Stokes, who seq, sez be, cold Ward
there's CRATE doins up to your house"
Sec l, civilian, how 500? -
SEE he, .'Bust my gizzard, but it's CRATE
doins,'' d then he larfed as if heed kill his
SELF
Sec 1, risin and putin on a austeer look,
"Wiliam I woodunt be fool if l had com
mon cents
But he kept on larfn till he was black in
the face, when he fell over on to the bunk
WHARF the hostler sleeps and in a still small
voise sed, Twins! I ashure yu gents
that the grass didn't grow under my feet on
my way home, d 1 was follered by en-
thoosiastic throng of my Teller sitterzuns,
who hurrard for Old Ward at, the top of
there voises. I found the house chock full
of peple. There was Mis- Square Baxter
and her three grown up darters, lawyer Per-
kinses wife, Taberthy Ripley, young Eben
Parsuns, Deakun Simmuns folks, the Skool-
master, Doctor Jordin, etsettery. etsettery.
Mis- Ward was in the west room, which jines
the kitchen. Miss Square Baxter was mix
in suthin in a dipper before the kitchen fire,
& a small army of female wimin were rush
ing wildly round the house with bottles of
camfre, peaces of flannel, &c. l never
seed SIGH hubbub in my natral born dase.
Good stay in the west room only minnit,
so strung up was my feelins, 50 that rlsht
out and ceased my dubbed barrild gun.
"What upon airth ales the man.? seq Ia
berthy Ripley. ''Sakes alive, what air you
doin''? & she grabd me by the coat tales.
-'sWhat's the matter with YOU? she con-
tinnerd.
Twins, marm,'' seq I "twins"
81 know it, seq she GOVERN her Ease
with her apun.
"Wall,'' seq I, ''that's what's the matter
with me-
''Wall, put down that air gun, you pesky
old fool''
eNo, marm,'' seq I, ..this is Nashunal
day. The glory of this here day isn't con-
fined to Baldinsvlle by darn site. On
wonder woodshed.' sed I, DRAWN myself
up to my full hite, and speakin in a show
actin voise, '.will ire Nashnual saloot"!
-sayin which tared myself from her
grasp and rusht to the top of the shed where
I blazed away until Square Bakers hired
man and my son Artemus Juneyer cum and
took me down by name forse.
On returnin to the Kitchen I found quite
a lot of people seated bed the fire, a talkin
the event over. They made room for me
& l sot down. ''Quite a episode" sed
Doctor Jordin, litin his pipe with red hot
coal.
yes" sed I, '.9 episodes, WANG about
Is pounds jintly."
"a perfeck coop de tat" sed the skool
master.
''E pluribus unum, in proprietor per-
sony" sed 1, thinking Ide let him know I
understood furrin langwidges as well as he
did if l wasn't skoomaster.
at is momentious event." sed young
Eben Parsuns, who has been 2 quarters to
the Academy.
II never heard twins called by that name
afore," sed |, "but spose its all rite.''
1--WE shall soon have Wards enuff,'' sed
the editer of the Baldinsville Bugle of Lib
erty, who was lookin over bundle of ex-
change papers in the corner, "to apply to
the legislator for City Charter i''
Good for yu, old man - sed I, "giv
that air a conspickius place in the next
Bugle."
Chow redicklus," sed pretty Susan Fetch
er, GOVERN her face with her knittin work q |
larfn like ali possest.
"Wall for my part" sed Jane Maria Peas
ley, who is the crossest old made in the
world, 81 think yu all act like pack of
fools.''
See I, "Mis Peasley, air 20 parent 2"
SEE she, .sNo, amt"
SEE I. ''Mis Peasley, yu never will be-
She left.
We sot there talkin q larfin until s.the
switchin hour of mite when grave yards
vawng & Josts troop 4th,' as old Bill
SHAKESPEARE aptlee observes in his dramy of
John Sheppard, esq or the Moral House
Breaker, when we broke up d disbursed
Muther d children is doin we'll: & as
is the order of the day / will
eel obliged if yule insurt the follerin-
Whereas, two Eppisodes has heppined up
% the undersined's house. which is Twins;
& Whereas I like this stile, SADIE Twins be-
n of the male perswashun d. both boys;
here4 Be it
Resolved, that to them nabers who did
he fare thing by SADIE Eppisodes my hart