Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1859-05-19

the face of the pincher changed IN an instant
70 one of painful sheepishness, as he subsi-
ded into his seat and braced himself for the
coming sermon.-Bucyrus Journal.
OWENS AND HIS APpRENTIcE.-John
Owens was playing an engagement at the
Howard Athen@um, last summer, and was
despatched by the manager to perform for
week in one of the interior towns of Western
Massachusetts,. One day, while sojourning
there, plain, good: d:natured son nof the soil
came up to him, as he was enjoying his af-
ter-breakfast cigar, and addressed him thus:
i say, Squire, amt you the player chap
that I seen in the theayter, last night, actin
out the funny feller so cuteT
The part alluded to was Solon Shingle,
in The Peoples Lawyer
sWell,' replied John, with that bland
smile of his, guess 1 am
Il thought 80, said the farmer. Now,
I've been a good many times to the theayter,
when i've been down to Boston, and seen
hull lot of folks playin' all sorts of funny
parts, but never seen any of 'em who could
come anywhares near yeou, Squire! Vas,
yeou deu take the rag off O the bush, actin.
out funny feller, and no mistake!' !,
The comedian evinced his deep sense of
the compliment paid him by graceful touch
of his hat; and his new friend proceeded:
Il never did larf so much in all my born
days, and so did my wife, and as to my dar-
ter, Matilda Jane, I thought she would ha'
bust. 1 wonder, Squire, if you could larn
our Sam? He's a cute sort Of a chap, and
is up to all sorts of queer COINS on. Amt
nobody as don't snicker right eout every time
they see him in his tantrums. I guess he'd
make funny actor, just like yeou, Squire,
if he only had a chance. Spose yeou
couldn't give film chance, couldn't yeou ?
If yeoa only let him try his hand awhile,
shouldn't mind bindin' him eout as prem
tice to the play actin busiuess-not charge
yeou much, nuther; only take care on him,
and don't let him sit into mischief. Fact
is, Squire, ! think that boyd Jest suit yeou,
for he's a kind of natyral fool, ennyheow.'
G.. O. Dan Irish store-keeper having
ordered a quantity of haddock fish by Ad-
ans & Co.'s express, was somewhat indig-
dant upon the delivery of the fish, to find
on the outside of the package the letters
&C. O. D.
'An' sure,' says Pat, Il didn't order cod
fish =
The express-man examined the fish, and
pronounced them haddock.
WELL says Pat, tc-o-d won't spell had
doek.'
oh, no. the express.man replied, cod
spells cod
'An,' says Pat, triumphantly, pointing to
the fish, sthem's fish,
'Yes-you are right there
well, that makes Goldfish, don't it, ye
spalpeen p
But where do yoaget the cod from p re-
turns the express-man.
Look there says Pat, pointing at the
portentous &C. O. d. that's cod, to be sure.
oh, no. replies express that's G. O.
D., which means collect on delivery"
'Ah, bedad, didn't think O. that cries
Pat, scratching his head with one hand. and
feeling for his purse with the other; 'but,
young man, let me give ye bit O. advice
When yez bring any more bundles for me,
don't-put on anything so mysterious again;
but joost reverse the big letters, D. O. G.,
and then yez can deliver on collection, which
any fool can understand
The express-man walked off, much plea.
sed, and promised to lay Pats suggestion
before the superintendent-N. y lNercury
DD- A modern Juliet, claiming to be
member of the Society of Friends, sends to
a ladies' magazine copy of verses which
commences thus:
dearest, come kiss me; my lips ore yet warm,
And my bosom still pants from the clasp of thine