Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1859-12-10
vARlE TIES.

How to become real estate agent
Marry "A rich wife.
Perhaps Herr Driesbnch has been more
Iionized than any gentleman living.
"The Wise and the Otherwise. Gov
ernor Wise and his son.
The frs, thing man takes to in life is
milkthe last is. his bier.
Perhaps one of the most notable types
of modern lunaey is balloonacy.
An indirect wav Of getting drink Of
water a, boarding house, is to ask for u
third cup of tea.
As a man drinks be generally grows
reckless in bis case, the more drains the
fewer scruples.
The Election-Additional Returns.-
The return home OF the disappointed can
didaies.
Many a man keeps on drinking till he
hasn't q coat either to his back or to his
stomach.
1t ia a sad waste Of raw material TO put
five dolars' worth of beaver on ten cents
worth of brains.
The good, we do it the evil, that is for.
tune; man is always right, and destiny
always wrong.
Men have made an all-powerful goddess
Of fortune. that they may attribute to her
all their follies.
Did the man who ploughed the sea, and
afterwards planted his feet on his native
soil. ever haryes: the crop?
Il is necessary TO do some works and
some actions which live independently of
the different passions Of men.
It is an economical reflection that when
garments are too short, the difficulty may
be remedied by wearing them longer.
Got through with the First Dozen.-Ths
Queen of Boni, Of the South Pacific, has
left her twelve husbands and taken ne "
dozen.
jenkins, % being asked how he liked
old paintings. replied that having seen
Pages Venus, he had decided prefer
ence for the nude.
Virtue is like the precious odors, most
fragrant when they are incensed or crush
ed for prosperity doth best discover vice,
but adversely doth best discover virtue.
"Tempus' suggests that the differen &c
between the imported aud tie American
watch is that the former owes its success
to taiL., Aud the latter TO good Works.
How small a portion Of our lives is that
We truly enjoy In youth we are looking
forward Tor things ,ha. are to come in
old age We lcok backward to things that
are past.
Wherever there is authority, there is a
natural inclination to disobedience. It
was so with our first parents, and it has
ever been so with all their descendants.
Upon matters which are affected by feel
ing aud sentiment, the judgements of WON
an surpasses that If man her more Sc.
ductve nature carries her to heights which
his coarser nature cannot reach.
DuopEcrMo WEppING.-Tom Thumb
~ uuOul w uc VI " i6uN u MS Own
size. What funny little Lil!iput-icular-
ity will the Thumb in the cradle be prob
ably by The way, should not . baby,
smaller than Thumb himself, be- more prop
erly named Little Finger?
The Young Mems Debating Society,
having dismissed the question, "Wh.r re-
does fir7 go to when 1t goes out ?" have
90, q new and more exciting one up
"Whes "A house ia destroyed by fire, does
il burn mp or does il burn dorn9' There
is TO bs marm debate on this question.
He is base aud that is the one base
thing ia the universe--to receive favors
ard render none. In the order Of nature
vie cannot reLder benefits to those from
whom We receive them. or only seldom
hut the benefits we receive NUT he ren.
dered again, line for line, deed for deed
to somebody.
ekJ- A tall, slab. sided YAnkes, whe
WAS making his appearance a, Cape MA,
las, summer. strolled dnwn ~ the beach
during the bathing tima. On seeing q
besy of beauties di.por,iag IN the waves
he burst into . Ct Of enthusiasm,
",Ir m "A lem II that don't ies, r~a,ind
ms Of something good we have II hum"
"Whst il thsty' remarked friend who
heard him,
"whsl il ~" said Johnathan, smach
ius his ljrs "losses In water"