Muscatine weekly journal. [volume] (Muscatine, Iowa) 185?-1890, 1859-11-25
V1nKLY JoURNAL.
EunnygraPlss.

@A lady went to . circus the other day
and was much embarrassed lest her class
leader should hear of her going to such {
place The leader was very much em6ar'
fassed at fading her there Worcester Bag
2aPoErIoAL DuN.-A Frenchman down on
the. st. Lawrence, who keeps one-horse
grocery, writes as follows:
An those people what owss,
9yaRaeI not * 'sin for dat yfAl. sa-1
But all dose people what owe me, a..
Must rsy ne De l'ashong immediate. "
g. ~ Louisville paper, has some answers
to correspondents. Here is sample:
Jenny Minister are not more addicted
to dissipation than men of other professions.
a few q the Kallock type take gin toddies
anc lGsNies with females, but the great
majority Of shsm are as good as lawyers and
doctors. II yoa want good Christian
marry an editor! ......... b..
u Ike came home from school very
much agitated because he could not under-
stand the principles Of Allegation, as laid
dewn in Greenleaf.
3 "There DEAR" said Mrs. Psrtington, 'don't
fret about it; you must tell the teccher
that you amt no alligator, and know he'll
relinquish you"
u Ike was oonsoled accordingly.
EMr. Henry Robert, Of Kings county,
L. T., has barn in field, situated some
distance from bis house, where his hens lay
thsir eggs, and where the village boys steal
them. Goaded to desperation by repeated
robberies, he tackled the following warning
on the barn door
-gGw @e A NoT1s. t
Eny boys ketched stelsin mi egs, shell be
spanked till they is SO red that they kant
%. want oil the egs and lie swot eny man
woman orc chile what gose mere my barn
and the egs 10 mine in the mouth. wont
stand it no lenger not tor an instance.
. E"Jobn," asked dominic of hope
fll pupil, .'what's mailer p
Z ga man who makes nails, replied hope
: every good. Now, what's tailor :"
= "Ons who makes tails" vas the the re-
saOb, you blockbead p said the dominic,
biting his lips, "a man who makes tails
did you ever - Eat.1I 70 ..HG5 -
iaTo be lsure," quoth hopeful, elf the
tailor didn't put tails to the coats he made,
they'd all be Jackets"
aEh h?-ah!- TO be sure. didn't
think of that Beats Watts logic Go to
the top of the clase. You will be a Con-
gresham some day." ..... t.a
.sSoID', At HALF -PR1cE.-A shop.keeper
Ia small town in Massachusetts, marked
some handksrchiefs in his window with the
tempting words, selling at halfprice =
Shortly sftsr, lady who had traded with
him before, entered his establishment and
having examined the handkerchief, inquired
the price.
81 "fifty cents a-piece," politely replied the
shop-keeper. ~; ssy cNf y.-
every WE'LL" said the lady "you may do
NE up Dozen" as ...-r.
The handksrchiefs were cut off and de-
nvered to the lady, who gave the shop
keeper . three dollar bill. 20.
sBeg pardon, ma'am-but t--ah--told
you the handkerchiefs were fifty cents a.
piecs-that is-ah-six dollars per Dozen"
sTe be sure, sir, understand as much
arithmetic 40 that. Six dollars is the price;
half of six is three-that il half.price: !
think they are cheap at that. Good day, sir."
The lady shut the door. The shop-keeper
opened his eyes. For four or five minutes
he stood still as stump. lie gazed vacant
" at the window, and then biting his lips,
and coloriag very red. he gently and SOL
emnly removed the card pinned to the
handkerchiefs and resolved to announce no
more goods s'se,ling at half-price," for he
thought that selling in that way, his profits
would not amount to very large SUN
yearly .sra iH" aE. r0f