Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1859-10-21
MISCELLANY Y.
Two Birds with One Stone.

1t moaned, it walled, it screamed, it fill
ed the night with dismal lamentations it
pierced the ear like amatory feline shrieks.
it wrung the heart and Jared the brain.
''The devil take that fiddle said Mr.. Y.
in despair.
1t moaned, it walled, it screamed, long
er and q louder strain, in shriIl defiance.
For sixty minutes Mr.. X. had suffered
silently. He sat alone in his snug room,
conveniently remote from Broadway, sur
rounded by manuscripts from his own hand,
| his cherished musical and literary offspring
1t was in August, 1857, the weather was
warm, and the window remained unelosed
He had been dotting swift notes upon
elose-ruled sheet. He had grasped lyric
inspiration as it fitted by. His melodies
were all secure, but while he was fitting in
the harmonies, dovetailing the ingredients
of his score, diabolical din had arisen, be-
| fore which all his soft and delicate fancies
| fed scattered and confused. In vain he
struggled 10 resist the interruption. II
seemed as if the air we're thronged with
maniac goblins reveling in crazy glee. In
dignant, but deeming it his duty as a COM
poser and an editor to preserve thorough
equanimity, he set aside his score, and turn
ed to less absorbing labors. He attempted
the opening lines Of disquisition on the
Tariff.
Vainly, yainly for still it moaned, and
walled, and screamed
| With sudden superb assumption of in
difference. Mr.. X. inserted his pen, like a
| bit, between his teeth, with the possible view
of bridling his irritation lest it should car
ry him away, probed with his hands in the
attermost recesses of his trowsers pockets;
unfolded and shot out his legs until they be-
came curiously involved with those of the
table; settled his frame; inclined his head
and gazed intently at the lowermost button
on his vest, which hung precariously by an
emaeiated thread, and appeared TO calcu-
late the chances of its future usefulness.
| Thus he awaited the termination of his tor
lures.
There was no peace for him. Now
perched away up at the topmost heights of
the + string now rumbling and grumb-
! ling down among the hollow depths of the
G.; now grasping for impracticable harmo-
nies now rushing wildly up two cords at
once in dissonant fifths; now plunging over
the bridge and squeaking insanely at The
unexpected mishap; now breathlessly bolt
ing back again, and tumbliug helter-skelter
down the scale in manner that would
| have broken the neck or otherwise fatally
| injured and brought to violent end any
| less vigorously constituted tune, but which
had no perceptible effect upon this one, ex-
eept to cause it to recover itself with pro-
| longed shake, and to start off in revived
spirits upon a new career OF delirious fren-
"; now pausing an instant TO permit pet
ulant pizzicato to have its word now clam
berino up once more to dizzy elevations TO
do it all over again--ever rising and falling
in cacophonous cadences, worked the busy
bow. Such bow Such mad pranks !
Such furious writings and such tireless
zeal 1t was as if band of mischievous
and unmelodious sprites had got possession
of il, and were gamholing in see-saw upon
it, over the anguished catgut. Out of tune,
out of time; no tune, no time up and
down, up and down; screech, screeeh,
screechl
DThe devil take that fiddler said Mr.. X.
who at length, after an unrelieved hour of
wretchedness, concluded that editorial Dig
nity nigh. properly be dispensed with.
Sill it moaned and walled and scream
ed. Its allegro was madness, and its adasio
was desolation. Its lower tones brought
misery TO the mind, its higher ones acute
Inflammation TO the temper. It's arpeggio
was agony, its trill was tribulation, ITS chro-
matics were bliStering burden to the soul,
and its staceatos stung the intellectual senses
as the sharp tattoo of the South Sea Island
er stings the cuticle. And Mr.. y. wincrd
"The devil take that fiddlel y exploded
he again; and, as the operation afforded
him much comfort in profane way, and
tended somewhat TO calm his excited nerves,
he repeated, with peculiar and solemn en-
phasis,
@The devil Jpause) take (pause) that
FIDDLEP
Mr.. Y. was not wholly certain that the
devil had not had it for some time; but his
lexbortation was of conventional charac-
Ter. such as adapts itself readily 10 any oc-
cas;on or circumstance or state Of mind
grave or gay. lively or severe-irrespesti'e
of any particular applicability. :.
As nothing came of II, he finally exiri-
Gated his legs from their entanslemeni, and
his hands from their retreat, and rescued
from his mouth his pen. the handle Of which
had been forever shorn of its fair Propor-
tons by the energetic action Of hls teeth
thereupon. lie then rose, walked TO the
window, and took an observation.
Afiueuoe and poverty are often near
neishbors in New York. Though Mr. y
was no Crusus be was very comfortably