The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1859-11-19
The Complaint OF tho Man with tho
Big Belly,


Tho Complaint OF tho Man With tho
Big Belly.
What on eadh makes mans belly grow
ihree Or four times % large a. il ought 70 be-,
'nd nDi any Of lhe rest Of hia body-for my
part can't 'cr Why don't q mans nose
ffn" cop Nhy don't thgoth animals grow
s-- lHat's what I'D Ike 10 knov. aLauqh
and grow tt'' say grow fat and be laugh
'd nt The human form divine indeed! !-
Adam wouldn't recognize mo for fellow
man. ll was introduced % him with ,he,s
hNop' nn, As some ona said, Il seemed a.
though bad stopped growing for ume.
"NN when ! commenced again, grew the
wong way. I've lried everything 10 atom H.
I've drank green ale, I've slept ON nv face
I've diried. I've tried buckles and ,trap,
hut Who can sleep on his face, or 10 with.
out hi' Nrlua', or be strapped up 90 Igbt
he can't whistles I'm not respected ON tbs
street 80 longer ago than yesterday, going
along Ihe.slrcrr, an impudent ,choolboy ran
np by nay aide, kicked up hls heels and
squetcd Ike pig,-then on before me. 1
pretended that took no notice Of II. but
hang lhc young rascal, II I'd got nv hand,
"n h'm' III euiicd bin impudence out Of him.
\ boy wouldn't suy more dared 10 do that
when went TO school than he'd have STRUCK
srlreimani but you might ~ well try 10
mud lost sIrccyc-buiton 10 10 find boy
no"-adnys, We don't have any BOYS. Pm
op0 10 c'uybudy's jokes, high and low
Every time there's city election, hundred
or more tell me that ! should be- made an
alderman, Billings calls me Mr. o. And then
thry nil laugh Day before yesterday thar
conluundcd Iinkham commenced running
Wc. before lhc whole board, telling them that
an Internationally jumped upon me IN the
street. thinking my stomach was his masters
band organ, and wanting TO know how got
INTO bed, aud II they didn't roll ne up on
ah,ds. lvould have clawcd his eyes out. hut
] bad To-. laugh with the. rest. That man
jokes too much III bet a,supper that more
than five hundred have asked me this ls,t
year chow much ! Weigh. What business
i' % 20 them how much weigh? DO they
want 90 buy me- And then everybody nsks
me ll I'm not come Of the Dutch, H. don't
,H too much Il makes me so mad. Come
'i the Dutch, VIXEN nay names Just the pufest
English over spokcn-Waddle9 cat what
please that's what ! eats can man staryes
Then some Of themIwant to know II / was
always SOL i'll was fat boy. When was
d boy was as thin as mans hand, there
wasn't a boy.could jump farther oruclimb
tree quicker, than l. within twcntyIn,ilss.
was thin enough then, but since I've swelled
from the new TO the full moon. met one
u nay old School-matcs the other day; he
knew me when ! was lean enough, and must
peak oi-,h and give me punch with his fat,
and sal was like the man in shakspcare.-
had achieved greatness" 81 would we're
boy again Is. l.s -s, lean as a telegraph
pole, and as tall too, il could get rid Of this
horn in tie flesh. I'm told to exercise. TO
lake a run before breakfast Runp hny,
not run q stop for fifteen years. How can
-un Pit half Kills me to walk down hill. I've
slipped down on the ice though, but didn't
get over 1t all winter. I don't ENJOY riding
3theri supposing should be thrown from
'agon' 1t makes me quake to think Of Il,
hat sight and mass should bel OlO!
Ia swap it of for hump on the back, issI
'ou'c rs bad enough to be hunch-baekcd,
'ut its worse thing to be hunch.belied.-
! he future is'd~k to me- my body eastsa
hadow over it all l gather size like roll
ag SNOWFALL But suit yourself I'm inde-
PENDENT of YOU, and il it's any satisfaction to
ou' why then grow, grow, grow !y-Spriag-
ieii Rcppghcm.