Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1859-09-09
How to Catch a Lunatic.

HOW 10 Catch q LInatfc.
Years ago, when was a youngster.
became an assistant of DR.. B., the super
intendent of q public lunatic asylum, II
what town it does not mat,er-the location
don't effect the narration in the least
As in all insane asylums, some of oul
patients were docile and tractable, and had
the freedom of the house and high walled
garden while others. being violent and dan
gerous in their madness, were confined tc
their rooms.
Sometimes one of these last gentlemen
would get loose, fact he announced by
breaking things generally, upon which an.
nouncement the doctor would repair to the
spot al which he was 'eleva'ing the ancient
Henry and advancing upon him with a
steadfast gaze, would facinate him as a
black snake does a catbird, and march him
off TO his room instanter. The doctors
eye was never known to fail, and he inn
parted such portion of his literally charm
ing qualities to my fellow assistant and N.Y.
self that we were able to master an ordi-
nary maniac, although the doctor himself
had to attend TO the tough customers
We had one lunatic by the name OF
Smith, as tall as Tom Hyer and as strong
as an ostrich, besides being possessed of as
strong digestive powers as that interesting
bird, for he once got loose and swallowed so
many cents that they ratified when he
walked yet he showed no injurious effects
from the meal.
He had broken out of his room two or
three times, but had always gone back very
quietly when any of US made our appear
ance.
Thesasylum had saloon in the centre,
with door at each end /; one of these
doors required fixing once upon time, and
a carpenter was engaged upon it when in
trunded Mr.. Smith and quietly possessed
himself of one, sharp chIsel. When the
carpenter looked around, the mailman gave
a grin and spoke of the chisel at him,
whereupon the terrified man of chips scut-
tied out and locked the door, then while
rushed round and licked the door at the
other end.
Having thus Gagged the ostrich, he gave
the alarm, and / supposing that it was an
ordinary case which | could control. un-
locked the door and entered boldly, where
upon he made rush at me, and inconti-
nenlly bolted.
The doctor was sent for. He came and
after accommodating through the keyhole,
ascertainpg that the enemy was at the 9th
er end of the room he opened the door and
saw at once his eye would fail in this emer-
gency. Here was apparently dilemma.
Here was certainly problem. Given:
A crazy individual, strong as bull, but
perfectly uncomfortable, and armed with a
deadly weapon. Required; how TO catch
him.
To capture him by force was difficult
and dangerous undertaking, and to starve
him out would be tedious affair.
But the doctor did not hesitate for mo-
ment.
Alfred he said, go down into the sur
geury, fill the largest syringe with harts-
hord, and bring it up
| caught the idea, rushed down and
brought back syringe filled with harts-
horn-diluted--fo didn't want to kill the
man.
Then the Doctor, Jones and myself
formed an army of invasion. We threw
open the door and entered in the following
battle AIRY.
/, being the shortest of the three, march
ed first, holding chair in front Of me by
the back so that the legs might keep off a
rush if our pop gun flashed in the pan.
Then came Jones with the syringe resting
on my shoulder, like piece of flying artil-
lery.
Finally, in the rear, in the safest place
like all groat generals, came DIR. B.
The lunatic sat at the other end of the
hall, on chair, cycling US keenly and
savagely. Slowly, very slowly, We adj
vanced towards him. 1t seemed to me
that we were seven Mills apart, from the
length of time to approach him. The
nearer we got, the more wicked The chisel
looked, and the handle seemed to increase
till it was as long as broomstick. When
we got within few feet of him he sprang
al Us.
Fire 7 cried the general from the re n I;
and whiz splatter splosh went the quart
of haftshorn right bang into his count.;-
nance-down he went like log. it would
have knocked down a battalion: and while
he was catching his breath we caught him.