The Ashland union. [volume] (Ashland, Ashland County, Ohio) 1854-1868, 1859-02-02
,GOING. INTO SoeLETY 3

to his name. But he himself was not easy to
be found; for, he had led a wandering life, and
settled people had lost sight of him, and peo-
pie who plumed themselves on being respecta-
BILE were shy of admitting that they bad ever
known anything of him At last, among the
| marsh lands near the rivers level, that lie
! about Deptford and the neighboring market
gardens, Grizzled Parsonage in velveteen,
with face so cut up by the varities of weather
that he looked as if he had been tattoo'd, was
found smoking pipe at the deor of a wooden
house on wheels. The wooden house was laid
up in ordinary for the winter near the mouth
of muddy creek; and everything EEsEslls, 5he
foggy river, the misty marshes, and the steam
ing market gardens, smoked in company with
the grizzled man. In the midst of the smo-
king party, the funnel-chimney of the wooden
house on wheels was not remiss, but took its
pipe with the rest in a companionable manner.
On being asked if it were he who had once
rented the House to Let, Grizzled Velveteen
looked surprised, and said yes. Then his name
was Magsman? That was it, Toby Magsman-
which was, lawfully christened Robert; butcalled
in the line, from an infant, Toby. There was
nothing agin Toby Magsman, he believed. IF
there was suspicion of such-mention it!
There was no suspicion of such, he might
rest assured. But, some inquiries were making
about that House, and would he object to say
Not at all; why should he? He left it.
along of Dwarf
Along of Dwarf?
Mr. Magsman repeated, deliberately and
emphatically, Along of a Dwarf.
Might it be compatible with Mr.. Magsman's
inclination and convenience, to enter, as fa-
vor, into few particulars
Mr. Magsman entered into the following
particulars:
It was long time ago to begin with; afore
lotteries and deal more, was done away with
Mr.. Magsman was looking about for a good
pitch, and he see that house, and he says to
himself, s'I'll have you, if you're to be had
If money'll get you, Pll have you."
The neighbors cut up rough, and made COM
plants; but Mr.. Magsman don't know what
they aooald have had. It was a lovely thing
First of all, there was the canvass rekresentin
the picter of the Giant, in Spanish trunks and
ruff, who was himself half the height of
the house, and was run up with line and pull
ley to a pole on the roof, SO that his Ed was
coeval with the parapet. Then, there was the
canvass representa- the picter of the Albina
lady, shown her white air to the Army and
Navy in correct uniform. Then, there was the
canvass, representa- the picter of the. Wild
Indian scalpin member of some foreign ma
ton. Then, there was the canvass, representa-
the picter of a child of British Planter,
seized by two Boa Constrictors-aot that ace
never had no child, nor no Constrictors neither.
Similarly, there was the canszsss, epresentin
the picter of the Wild Ass of the Prairies-
not that ace never had no wild asses, nor
wouldn't have had 'em at gift. Last, there
was the canvass, representa- the picter of the
Dwarf, and like him too (considering,) with
George the Fourth in such state of astonish-
ment at him as His Majesty couldn't with his
utmost politeness and stoutness express. The
front of the house was so covered with can
vases, that there wasn't spark of daylight
ever visible on that side "MAGsMAN's
AMUsEMENTs,'' fifteen foot long by two foot
high, ran over the front door and parlor win
dows. The passage Arbour of green
baize and gardenstuff. A barrel-organ per-
formed there unceasing And as to respecta-
bility-if three pence amt respectable, what
is?
But, the Dwarf is the principal article at
present, and he was worth the money. He
was wrote up as MAJOR TPsCHoFFKI, OF THE
IMPERIAL BULGRADERIAN BRIGADE. No
body couldn't pronounce the name, and it
never was intended anybody should. The
public always turned, it as regular rule,
into Chopaki.- In the line he was called Chops
partly on that account, and partly because his
real name, (Which was very dubious,) was
Stakes.
He was uncommon small man, he really
was. Certainly, not so small as he was made
out to be, but where Is your Dwarf as is? He
was a most uncommon small man with most
uncommon large Ed; and what he had inside
that Ed, nobody never knowed but himself ;
even supposin himself to have ever took stock
of it, which it would have been stiff job for
even him to do.
The kindest little never growed J
Spirited, but not proud. When he travelled
Al L. oh ha
himself to be nat'ra Dwarf, and knowed the
Baby's spots to be put upon him artificial, he
nursed that Baby like mother; You never
heerd him give ill-name to Giant. He did
allow himself to break out into strong language
respectin the Fat Lady from Norfolk; but that
was an affair of the art; and when mans art
has been trihed with by lady, and the pre-
ference give to Indian, he amt master of his
actions.
He was always in love, of course; every hu-
man nat'ral phenomenon is. And he was
always in love with large woman never
know'd the Dwarf as could be got to love a
small one. Which helps to keep 'em the Gu
riosities they are.
One sing'ler idea he had in that Ed of his,
which must have meant something, or it wouldn't
have been there. 1t was always his opinion
that he was entitled to property. He never
would put his name to anything. He had been
taught to write, by the young man without
arms, who got his living with his toes Quite a
writing-master he was, and taught scores in the
line), but Chops would have starved to death,
afore he'd have gained bit of bread by put
ting his hand to a paper. This is the more Gu
rious to bear in mind, because HE had ne prop
erty, nor hope of property, except his house
and sarser. When / say his house, I mean
the box, painted and got up outside like reg
lar six-roomer, that he used to creep into, with
diamond ring Cor quite as good to look at) on
his forefnger, and ringa a little bell out of what
the Public believed to be the Drawing-room
winder. And when I say sarser, mean a
CLANCY sarser in which he aasTde a collection
for himself at the end of every Entertainment
His cue for that, he took from me /: g Ladies
and gentlemen, the little man will now walk
three times round the Caravan, and retire be-
hind the curtain When he said anything
important, in private life, he mostly wound il
up with this form words and they was gener