davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1859-12-03
LnMfcr nnd Mitnc.s.

\ story is told of a very eminent lawyer it-
this city receiving "a severe rcprmand from a
witness ON the stand whom he was trying to
browbcat. 1t was an important issue and in
order TO save his cause from total defeat ii
was necessary that Mr. A. should inn
peach the witness. H.. eayeayorcG to do it
on the ground Of age. The following dia-
loguc cnsucd:
Lo0ycr-"liow old are you?'
NftneSs--"SEyeut years.
Lawy memory, of course, is not
SO brilliant and vivid as il was twenty years
ago, is it ?'
WJucss-"I DO not know but i: is"
L1wycr-"Slate some circumstances which
occurred soytwclvc years ago. and We shall
be able TO see how well YOU eun remember"
Witucss-"I appeal TO your Honor if am
to be iutcrrogatcd in this manners ii is inso.
lent
Judgc-"Yc. sir state IT,"
Wiucss--"Wcll sir, it YOU compel me to
do it, / viii. About twelve years ago You
studied ia Judge B--'s office, did you not :"
Ihwycr-"les."
Wnncs---"Nell air, ] remember your IA
ther coming into my office and saying "a me,
"Mr j., my son is 10 be- examined tomorrow
and wish you would lend mo Gneon dollars
TO buy him a suit Of clothes" | rcmcmbeh
also, sir, thai from that day 10 This be has
never paid ule that sum. That, lair, ] )ro.
member as though q was but yesterday"
Lawyer (coHs,d,,utiy abashcdJ That
will Ja fIr"
WAGES -"I presume u will"
The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1859-12-03
Phunnygraphs.

"Nass Tom mass Tom o. mass Tom
howse | gvne to git down dis ladder -
"Come down the same way you went up, you
blockhead !" replied the master running NJ
to see what was the matter, "De same way
as come up, mass Tom ?" ayes, confound
YOU, aud don't bother me any more" "Wel
II must, must, anu NE niggeF came down
head foremost.
MoDEsrY.--At an evening party, gentle
man carving chicken, asked a lady wha,
part she pre- ferrcd. al will take a foot han
die" she said.
\ leading maxim with almost every politi-
clan is always to keep his countenance and
never to keep his word.
There's a great difference between honor
and hones,yj the former, it is said exists
among thieves, while the latter certainly
doesn't.
Emerson tells US that "the tongue should
be faithful teacher Certainly the eye
ought to bet always has pupil.
-Thc person who "stolea march, has been
put in the same cell with "Procrastiuation'
the thief Of time
4 Pas,uGR's when is your chin
liable to a fine under the game laws
When il is shooting hurcs (hairs) without a
license
Itis said that the toothache may always
be cured by holding in the hand a certain
root-that Of the tooth.
Much remains un-uug.' as the tom ca
remarked to lho buclba when il abruptly
,ut short his seTenade.
An Insh pcdagogue rrrcudy informed his
psr.l, ,hatrfe fcnenins gender should be
applied 90 all thips snd vefset ahoat, except
ra.ireamcri end msy.ofvar.
gls s~,aea ~ oH Fiana' rhs Honey
N ..a
The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1859-12-03
Thankhllncss.

] thank thee, ola ms God who On ado
TIA, earth so uTIght,-
So mn ~ splondor and ~ joy,
Beauty aud light,
So many glorious things are here,
Noble aud right!
/ .!!agk thee, too. that Thou hast made
JOY tu abound
SO many gentle thoughts and deeds
Ciraliug No round,
That iu the darkest spot on earth
Some love h found.
. thank Thee 0orc that all os.rjoy
Untouched with pain
That shadows fall ON brightest hoursi
That thufns remain
So that CArth's bliss NAV be our guide,
And not our chain.
For Thou who knowcst. Lord, how soon
Our weak heart cliugs,
llaat given us JOYS, tender and true,
Yet all with wings,
SO that we see, cleaning on high q
DNincT things
l thank Thee, Lord that thou hast kept
The best iu store,
We have enough, vet not too much
To wish Tor moro
A ycaming for deeper peace,
Not known before.
thank Thee, Lord, that here our souls,
Though amply blcst.
Can never find, although they seek,
A perfect rest y,
Nor ever shall. until they lean
% On Jesus breast T. Proctor.
The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1859-12-03
Letter from Kentuekv.


DEAR CALmoNIASi emoke-wreathed In
dian summer has at length "breke, and ice
crowned winter has "broke IN" upon us In Il.
stead. The epreslo, change +" took place du
ring the "wee sma' hours of the night iusi
ended, IN the midst Of heavy mn Of long.
lonked-for rain, The "clcrk Of the weather
has performed great miracle-from summer
ednclng winter ia a few hours space Yes.
terday, the temperature was ~ low, that
"none so cold 10 do caloric reverence" CO..
day the ground is clad in @ thick cuuet of
fcalhcry snow, and all are huddlug around
the blazing Goals and paying worship 10 lho
unseen god Of fame, The physical cause Of
this 10 sudden change Of temperature, il {,
not easy to peEseiye,
/ For the past two weeks immense fires
have been raging upon the mountains of
/ Lewis, Nicholas and Hrakcn counties, nd-
, joining "Old Mason" on three sides For
most Of the time the "bIuc-grass" region, in
which We are happily located, has been cu-
/ voloped In dense haze Of smoke, The ut
I mosphere hos been 40 dense and acril ou ac-
count Of the smoke, ps IL Injuries seriously
many pcopHs eyes, 20 say nothing Of the
annoyance occasioncd to the olnclory NERVES
generally Yesterday morning the wind set
ia strongly from the west, bringing up vast
volumes Of clouds, with now aud then %
sprinkle Of rain. The grca, heat generated
in the air, 10y reason Of the fierce and long.
continued "hrc on the mountaiui" No rlriGcd
the air a. to cause il 10 rise, tending 10 pro.
duce @ vacuum, 20 prevent which the north
and south poles (of the carlhS hullcr,) we've
checked on fora new aerial supply. which
meeting in mid air." mid way from thcir re-.
spcciivc stations, mingled their rushing
waves, and came bounding and believing
along upon Mascn county, KY, causing the
aforesaid change of rain to snow, and SUM
merS outdoor pleasures TO winters frcsdc
comforts
The theory Is not statcp as new, but mere.
ly as having "locnl habitation" and a ycrid.
cation in this particular "ncck OF woods" II
would be worthy Of a philosopher. attention
to know how extensive the "suddcn change"
has been and if the telegraph will furnish
the requisite data, Il would bc much Better
for their dignity than merely recording the
fluctuations in bacon, corn and -four
The great attraction Of to-day will or .
course be sleighing BrauN and bellies will
be out in company, and many mice smack
will he made by one to t'othcr rs they "cip
IL" along the icc-ribbcd roadNcads, and
weave, it may be, with some, their iucipcu,
,,phs Of r,,nuhf,l L.,,;v..g
The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1859-12-03
RATES on ADVHRTIaINd,
jon PRINTING.

our Printing establishment 10 la better oludi-
ton now than ever before, and with increased IA
tlhueA' we shall give Increased attention 90 this
branch oi business. We keep constantly Ou hand
laprf aud Card stock, aud are Hnw prepared 90
WiHt Posters, liandbIs, Programmes, Aartiou
huis liill Heads, Labels, Circulafs, husiurss auu
wedding tards, Sc, Sc, 20 short notice,
bfI'rs hy Wnh Will br carefully attended 20, aud
lnr wugA forwarded with despatch
The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1859-12-03
In Ainln tlnn.

Father OIrlry was ou bis regular tour
collecting the suprUds among the poor Irish
under bis charge, aud had just stepped u
upon Paddy trugum WHO va, always too
poor TO pay up. Paddy had just made q sale
ui the "uW,d Cus,, receiving "a sovereign iu
payment, With winch " course, bee va, both
90 part, amt VAS cun,ilcuug how 60 invest il
Co the bcs, advantage when the price, drop.
ped iu,
Good morning, Patrick" said he," have
called iur tho ,upcud, and hope Sow ltr
better oil to'd'! than the h.t Time Ros.
here
"plasc yer gNu.ucs,' nHl Paddy I'm
r,-cr bit ,hc better oil, for dyq, ,Dc pcuuy
f,Nc iu thc house.
sW,-isl54,ucA, I suppose Wi, have Co
pas>~ro,cr until the urNt ume, hy-vM
.hupc 'uu will ty % save .1m,ripg ton the
Church
81 .vjlliaso yer r,rcucc," said Paddy
very buW..y, anil $50 tue priest ,rt him.
Paddy was iu great gl.e 90 getting rl o'
iur'pI,..t Vtuuut uaAIng tho sL-..--.--.--!l--
tuu 90 ,mpau al. uungs 40 h.s sar,.., Co
the "uWla Woman, Who Vas Uoy.us tUy "Yrl'
toes ilj tU. patch nearby
"l Say, Jugu,t hi, g.y,r.uytNtUs here
"Au' was hc, sup .' replied Jcunct -, W
"li,i an Doe asked me Tor tho s,pcuGs au
och, bc me iH,tH au' didn't ! iN him nice,
though
An how Paddy. did yc pay him. sumo a"'
"DiNcl % bji d,G ], 'or ] taw!d han had
uiyrr q penny u the house,
90, Patrick Patrick. how could yc tell
such au oWdac,uus De 90 bis reverence sure
he'll send you 20 purguorE an mlyys the
long day twill be tore yc ri, ont of it,
"Ah nov, Jvuuct, duliut, an don't hc "a.
Kin on IiEr that fashion about 10, for IL was
only smart Transaction iu "a husiucss-iikr
The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1859-12-03

~ Dr. W.ushlp Of l,o1bury the athlete
who is new dsiseuuF popplsr lectures ia 20.
nsus pIarrt un physical rlit4tt' tat alIoI
200 pDugaf 70 lhe rm.art vI..b Boz is sLlt
'a fasr from fh. a.bf uI.h OH, lsndt nd ~
.As talal los lg3Z pounta
The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1859-12-03
The next extract we copy shows
How he became Chaplain TO Co


How he became Chaplain To Congress.
we left Cincinnati on the steamer Hiber-
MIA carly on Friday morning, the captain
promising to land US Ut Whscling by Satur-
day night The boat was very much crowd
cd, and among the passengers was a conSd-
cradle number Of CongrcSsmcn, members Of
both houses on their way to the capital to
take their seats. As several of them were
men known to fame, whose names | had been
familiar with for years, | took great interest
ia observing them, and in listening to their
Conversation when, AS is often their manner
n such environment, they talked for the ben
cit uf the company. ] canuo, say how much
/ was shocked nor how indignant became
at discovering that not few Of these repre-
8cntati,cs Of the sovereign people Of the Uli-
ted States, Svoro outrugeously, played cards
duy and night, aud drank ,illainous whisky
to.,lccss. cHpressc ,sSS surprise aud cha
grin 20 mJ friend but~Ne only comfort that
ucrj,cd wac, thai this was the fashion in
which muuy of our politicians acted
The uy,r vas loa foga came on. suIdsy
muiniug arrived, Nc we're Jct eighty miles
below Wheeling aud there vas no place
vhu, v, could lgnd 10 speud ths Sabbath
40 breakfast uwe oommuts, ~ uis pssssn.
gore w4,s1 up9u me ~ know n ! would
The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1859-12-03

slight symptoms Of approaching winter were
inanillaiGa.- ---
1t fell to the ID, Of the writer To, ,nkc a
trip to St. Louis about the last Of @ctpber,
some account of which might not " wholly
unin;erestiug to your readers.
The first seventy miles from home to Iowa
City by wagon would be tedious were it not
for the activity manifested along the line Of
the route in grading the railroad west from
that town twenty miles. Some Of the Hill
sides Where deep cuts are TO Ice made are
black with men and teams that have appear
ed there most suddenly. Every train brings
a load of paddles aud the work progresses
finely. Iowa City is place Of much trade,
and is probably less affected by hard times
than Muscatine and many Of the river towns.
Only one train of cars arrives daily, but it is
very well freighted S. J. Kirkwood lives
near this city. and his neghbors say he still
labors industriousy on his Grm-they liked
him much and voted for him, irrespective Of
party.
From Iowa City. a short trip Of thirty-two
miles brings US to Muscstine considerable
town, built Of brick, on a very blufy site on
the banks Of the Mississippi river From
this place We proceed ou'a steamboat down
the river. Al Montrose We 30 around tho
rapids on cars twelve miles, II 80 fortunate az
20 fnd thon ia running order aud arriving
a Kcokuk, We take RtoAuk packet, some
II which arc fitted up .in styie that might
suit the taste ~ the most lastd.ous. ln
about sity hours from MuscatIno vs auIve
ai sl iruis. We must not pass unaoueed
sons of th4 thriving towns ou che river
= funlsrton aud Ks0kuk on the I0is sids are
The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1859-12-03

To To those who have sagg the skeleton
Of the Vermont whale in the cabinet Of on
new State House, the following "pome" vii
explain itself.
Observations To IA Nhail,
Dug up iu sharlot VI, and now on c1crbisho'
az thc Snlt lious.
uY MISS JULIA rIIIIU, A roIss.
Big Reptile p.dyou expect
~ yub ont youT fuot.tracks by
III trail OF your 40 pomrn,
So that Uagar coWld'Ut tud youl
-i-f 80, You're Futt-t'rcat ttiurtJI
lie know you're hand. ritiu suuus
He src il. Better not Jump'd
Outer the ARK, quite
So much iu q hurry,
Irau's yours gidm ON ana Ice Burg
Ana uopt Co warm the Brandon
By Liguitc Grc.
or may he
NnU considered Lake Shamplauc
" a. tAv Pacific O.huu Great
SCtashus Mammal.a, Amt
You took in . Mounted ON
Paddle. how 'd YOU expect 60 traNil
,h'd like 60 now. on the Clay
Called riistcrsccu Cess you
Felt SOME like cr nsh uu; cr water
1hrow'd up by joiner on TO
tJTy tHUd. tCnt1yuEurrus,
farwCl
The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1859-12-03
Agonta for Tho oaledonian.

o ~ ln any of Ar above, or ia other town,
payments may be- made, when more Cou,tultul
~ thc IUstm4ttrfs thereof, or the amount ma,
be sent direct. go this oiice but We must insist
Oh settlements every year.
The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1859-12-03
Letter from Iowa.
A Trip to 81. Louis---Thc ''Pcculinr In
stitutiOn," &C., &c.
RuT1ERVILLE, Nov. 10. 1859.

To the Editor Of The Calcdonian
The slight snow storm mentioned in my
last-Oct. I7th-was followed next day by
pleasant, dry weather, which continued al
most uninteruptedly till yesterday, when
slight symptoms Of approaching winter were
The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1859-12-03

o. pustmasirf Cap,H. ~ Boston. gives
oui tlat CL, p1sl .aiiir, 10 q. 30 back to h.hn.
mrr uiftrt fs f1Un uE Congress tsstmUIts.
nuItgf lloW it
The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1859-12-03

We will conclude our extracts this week
by giving a single incident in the life of that
peculiarly eccentric man,
M'arthur Democrat. (McArthur, Vinton County, Ohio) 1853-1865, 1859-08-25
9grituItural.
From The Dollar Newspaper
H'nn.EIiiIlk fanmmrc.

For The benefit OF those WHO live in
the vicinilics Of tamlrics, ! propose
giving my experience, through the
immortal columns ofthc "Acr&pgPer,'
as to the best mudc ul converting tan.
bark, after the liqnor has been en-
traclcd and the bark thrown from the
vats as useless, into very superior ar.
ticle Of garden and farm manure. My
first experiment in thus converting an
article which the masses have gourr.
all considered useless, except 10 JaDL
Up hoUStS, into light and rich Ter.
tllizer Of soil, was in my garden. ]
have usually spread the bark in my
garden walks to the depth Of three
inches, as it keeps the grassaul weed.
from growing therein After letting
it remain there two or three years,
have usually had it removed anb
thrown into the river. again filing tie
walks with fresh bark. One spring
] concluded to experiment on one bee
to see whether the bark couId not BE-
rendered useful rs marure. TIL,
next all the plants in that bed wer,
full two weeks earlier and much bet
ter than the produce Of the other beds
!, therefore, applied the bark to my
whole garden with equal success.
found that with no other stimulanI
than the suds from the wash-roUm,
could produce more from the samC
space Of ground with tan.bark man,
IRE than my neighbors cCuld witt
the best barn manure. From this OK
pertinent in my garden | naturally
supposed it could be rendered equally
beneficial as a fertilizer Of my farm
As soon as convenient, therefore,
plocured sufficient quantity Of tan
bark, in order that ! might test its
utility. Making a box 80 by 40, with
slides, some twenty inches in height,
lspread first Il layer ofashes, leached
one inch in thickness; next layer oI
bark three inches in thickness; next
alayer oflime about the same in guam
tity as the ashes. | proceeded thu;
until my box was filled. let it re.
main in this condition for about two
months, carefully covered so that il
might not lose any oftS strength.
then drew it ont on a two.acre lot, be.
ing very careful to spread it evenly
over the suriace-this can be done
best with the common barn shovel -
From this piece so manured | raised
nearly double the produce | had be-
fore raised from the same land.
tried this manure OIL various portions
OF my farm and am confident it is
better than any other manure farmers
can get.-G. W. s. Br0ome County,
n. y, 1859.
M'arthur Democrat. (McArthur, Vinton County, Ohio) 1853-1865, 1859-08-25

CLEVELAND AHEAD OF CINCINNATI
The Cleveland Plain DEALER tells OF
a fearful affair that recently occurred
in Van Amburgh's menageric. Some
OF the new keepers commenced to
torment the lion. Wishing TO hcal
him roar, the brutes spit tobacco iu ,cc
in his eyes. This thoroughly mad
dened him and his frenzy was terrific
The lion made a tremendous dash
against the cage bars--they gave way
he cleared the cage with a bound
and sprang for the afrighted wretch
on the pole. In the blindness Of his
rage, the lion missed the man, strik
ing his own head against the pole and
splitting himself from head to tail !
1t was done as evenly as though he
had been sawed by an experienced
mechanic. The uproar brought NJ.
Van Amburgh tothe spot. The emer
gency required promptuesS. This was
no time for reflection or Argument
SEEING the cleaved parts Of the lion,
the great "tamer' cIapped them in.
stantly together. They stuck, and the
lion was soon restored to conscious
ness But imagine Vans agony when
he say that he had put the lion to.
gether t'otheJ end TO that two of the
animals legs wero up aud the other
two down. But the lion got well, and
seems to enjoy himselfbetter than ever.
When he gets tired Of walking on two
legs he hops over on the other two.
lie is said to be a curious. looking
lion.
M'arthur Democrat. (McArthur, Vinton County, Ohio) 1853-1865, 1859-08-25
Ayers Cathartic Pills,
FOR AL TIE PURPOSES NE FAMILY PHYSlG.

are so composed that disease within the range Of
their action can rarely withstand or evade them.
Their penetrating properties search, and cleanse,
and nygoratc every portion of the human organ
ism, correcting lis diseased action, and restoring
its healthy yitalitics. AS consequence of these
properties, the invalid who is bowed down with
pain or physical debility is astonished to find his
health or energy restored by remedy at once SO
simple and inviting.
Not only do they cure the everyday complaints
Of every body, but also many formidable and
dangerous diseases The agent below named is
pleased to furnish gratis my American Almanac,
containing certificates of their cures and directions
for their use in the following complaints: CoStire-
ness, Heartburn, Headache arising from diSOrdered
Stomach, Nausea, Indigestion, Pam an and Morbid
IRaction Of the BOreLS, Elatuiency, Loss of Appe-
hte, JaaRdice, and other kindred complaints,
arising from low state Of the body or obstruction
Of its functions. They are an excellent Alternative
for the renovation of the blood and the restora-
ton of tone and strength to the system debiltated
by disease.
M'arthur Democrat. (McArthur, Vinton County, Ohio) 1853-1865, 1859-08-25
AYERS
A que Cure,
roR rnE sPErpY cuRE oF

FOR THE SPEEDY CURE or
Intermittent Fever, or Fever and Ague,
Remittent Fever, Chill Fever, Dumb
Ague, Periodical Headache, or Bilious
Headache, and Bilious Fevers, indeed
for the whole class of diseases Origis
mating in hillary arrangement, caused
by the Malaria of miasmatic countries
No one remedy is louder called for by the
necessities Of the American people than a sure
and safe cure for Fever and Ague. Such
we are now enabled to offer, with perfect
certainty that it will eradicate the disease,
and with assurance, founded on proof, that
no harm can arise from its use in any guam
tity.
That which protects from or prevents this
disorder must be Of immense service in the
communities where it prevails Prevention is
better than cure, for the patient escapes the
risk which he must run in violent attacks of
this baciul distemper. This "CURR" expels
the miasmatic poison of FEVER AND AGuE
from the system and prevents the develop
mcnt Of the disease, if taken on the first ap-
proach Of its premonitory symptoms. 1t is
not only the best remedy ever yet discovered
for this class of complaints, but also the
cheapest. The large quantity we supply for
a dollar brings it within the reach Of every
body; and in bilious districts, where FEVER
AND AGUE prevails, every body should have it
and use it freely both for cure and protection.
1t is hoped this price will place it within the
reach of all-the poor as well as the rich. A
great superiority Of this remedy over any
other ever discovered for the speedy and GER
tain cure of Intermittents is, that it contains
no Quinine or mineral, consequently it pro-
duccs no quinism or other injurious effects
whatever upon the constitution. Those cured
by it arc left as healthy as if they had never
had the disease.
Fever and Agueis not alone the consequence
Of the miasmatic poison. great variety of
disorders arise from its irritation, among which
are Neuralgia rheumatism Gout, Headache,
Blindness, Toothache, Earache, Catarrh, Asth-
ma, Palptation, Painful Affection Of the
Spleen, Mysteries, Pain in the Bowels, Collie,
Paralysis, and Derangement of the Stomach,
all Of which, when originating in this cause,
put on the intermittent type, or become period
ical. This "CURE" cxpels the poison from
the blood, and consequently cures them all
alike. 1t is an invaluable protection to immi-
grants and persons travelling or temporarily
residing in the malarious districts. If taken
occasionally or daily while exposed to the in-
fection, that will lie excreted from the system,
and cannot accumulate in sufficient quantity
to ripen into disease. Hence it is even more
valuable for protection than cure, and few will
ever suffer from Intermittcnts, if they avail
themselves of the protection this remedy af-
fords.