The prairie news. [volume] (Okolona, Miss.) 1851-1875, 1859-06-16
VOL. yIl.--.NO 40.
The fate OF Bachelor who went
Skating with Mary.
WHO MARY is.

WHO MARY is.
Mary is as pretty piece Of humanity
in the shape of q woman as you could
find this side of Heaven. Such eyes
such hair such teeth And her hand
Well now, there | think it was just the
smallest, the whitest-.why, ivory is slow
to it. And her foot was just enough to
set off the neat covering that concealed
the rest from profane eyes. 1t did not
seem a foot, as one saw it reposing in its
tiny kid slipper, like Canary bird in Its
nest.
MARY HAS THE SKATING FEVER.
Well, sir, this Mary caught the skating
fever, which is now raging so fearfully.
heard her express wish for pair of
skates, and the next Gay she had the best
pair that could be found in the city, and
nobody knew who sent them to her,-but
bless me how my blood boils at the
thought of the consequence.
MARY PUTS HER FOOT IN IT.
We went down upon the ice, and there
that lit;le devil Of d Mary, just sat qui-
etly down, ordered me ON my knees, and
quietly placed that foot, tie foot, the DO.
etic myth, in my lap, and bid me put on
her skate. Sir! had Venus dropped
down from Heaven, and bid me rub her
down with rotten stone and oil, it could
not have astonished me more than when
that divine foot was placed in my un-
worthy lap. | felt very faint-but I
buckled on the skates, and stood up, with
>. AIRY by my side.
THE BACHELORS HEAD swlMs.
Have you ever taught woman to
skateg No: well, let me tell you.---
You've been in room lined with mir
rors, havn'tyou You've seen kaleid-
oscope, with few old bits of glass, &c.
in a tin tube, and turning it have seen all
sorts of beautiful figures. Just imagine
kaleidoscope, and in place Of beads and
broken glass please substitute blue eyes,
cnrving eye-lasbes, lips, ivory, wavy hair.
crinoline, gaiter boots, zephyr worsted.
Cupids, hearts, darts, a clap of thunder,
flash of Lightning. and "auld. Nick"
Imagine yourself the center of system
with all these things revolving round you,
and violet bank breathing sighs upon
you all the while and you have Mary and
her victim in the first skating lesson.
CATERS IN THE PIT OF THE STOMACH.
But just let me try to describe our per-
formance. Mary and | startcd--she on
NV laft arm all Snuara ,.1 koy. x,o~
cy on my poor puzzled brain while / try
to unravel the stirred and mixed rainbow
of sighs and sentiments. First, Mary's
dear little gaiter boots present them
selves to my astonished vision, and, be-
foresI have time to wonder how they
came up before me, / feel them pressing
their blessed beauty, with emphasis, into
the pill of my stomach.
MARY PITCHES INTO Hin GENERALLY.
Next scene-wavy hair with thirty
dollar bonnet and divine head, comes
pitching into my waistcoat, with such
force that | feel the buttons against my
spine. Next-Mary gazed up at me from
between my jack-boots, and anon her
blessed little nose is thrust in the bosom
of my shirt. Ah my riend, all re-
search and study ON the mysterious sub
ject of woman has been comparatively
in vain, tilrin this eyentfal year of 1859.
the fashion of skating has opened new
and varied sources of information.
MARY sUBDuEs HIM.
Dear Mary! / offered myself to her
every time she turned up or came round.
| am hers but wish to enter my SOL
emn protest before the world that she
alone could not have conquered me-
But who could hold out, when Surrounded
by an army of Marys on skates / am
hers but I'm awful sore All! / have
learned something. Cupid makes bache-
lors tender as cooks do tough stakes, By
hammering and pounding.