Daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1865, 1859-12-01
De Omnihrs Rehns.

De Omnibus Rebus.
Milk that has stood some time, should
be permitted to sit down.
Il presume yon won't charge any thing
for Remembering inc,a said onc-legged
sailor to 4 woodcn-lcg manufacturer.
Inquiries are making, whether tho cup
OF sorrow has Il saucer? Can any one tell?
y sAucerer question caunot be put
~ Mississippi county court clerk having
issued a marriage license for n young man.
shortly after received the following note
from him:
'Steatc of Miss July the 1859.
"Alr. Moody Piles let This matter stand
over until further orders the girl has Flew
the track BY her own request and release
my name of this Bond ii yon pies"
The old gentleman who turned awav to
.'smile," was seen shortly afterwards com
ing out of a restaurant
Is the young lady who cxcites Fame in
q gentleman's bosom an incendiery?
TIE first confidence woman-Eye. She
played the bell game with an apple. on a
gentleman from the rural districts. named
Adam.
WHAT is the difference between blind
man and Il sailor in prison? One cannot
see to so, and the other cannot go to sea
DEMrsTER reduces everything to mathe-
maticS. lie got married because kissing
saves fifty per cent. on his sugar tax. Old
bachelors will please notice.
TO cure hams, ascertain what is the
matter with them. Then apply the proper
remedies and if you do not succeed in
curing them, ii amt your fault.
LISTENING to lady who was pouring
ont Il stream of talk, Jcrrold whispered to
TO the person next to him. ''She'll cough
soon, and then we can strike in"
"'EHE carly bird gets the worm" That's
true: and it is equally true that it is the
early worm 'as gets tuck" therefore we
will turn over and sleep little longer.
WE heard a good Methodist preacher
once ''go on in this way:
AS was riding along once, on one of
those beautiful western prairics, with NV
dear old wife, who has gone to heaven in
a buggy"
IT is understood that the future move
ments ofthr Great Eastern will be through
the water.
A gentleman, who had great fondncss
for the science of chemistry, named one Of
his daughters Sal. Volatile, and the other
Sal. Tartar
IIomTpathy-Throwing kiss at q
young lady with your hand Allopathy-
DeIivcringa a kiss by-in the most satisiuc-
tory manner.
IT has been said that widow is per-
son who knows what is what, and who
desires further information on the same
interesting subject. y marrying widowcr
may with equal propr;cty be styled per-
son who has not completed his education
on tho nhnvn <utIlrSL, anu VINO UcS:FcS
further instruction S-om the widow who
bnS graduated her husband.
y doctors wife attempted to move him
b. her tears .'.lh!' said he, "tears are
useless. haYeanNlyzcdth them. They con-
tain Il little posphatc of lime, some chlo-
rate of sodium, and water"
youth to fortune and to fame unknown"
Stir your stumps, and leave unturned no
stone.
Tax progress of ncdlcinc-Through the
system.
HARRIET MARTNAvE says that the mid
die class housewives in England cannot
cook generally speaking. 4 man fed on
generally speaking would evidently he
come dilIuse talkcr.
MANS daily occupation-Getting ZIP in
the morning and going TO bed at night.
mhith is occasionally varied by going to
he'd at night and getting up in the morn
ing.