Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1859-04-30
BRATTLEBORO, W.: APRIL 30, 1859.

how are youP Where have we seen each othei
before
"ltide up" says he.
?" says |.
way"
mo" said l, al don't want to ride up Broad
way I'm going tother way"
"What did you stop the bus for, then ?" said
he
81 didn't stop it; you stopped it yourself,
replied; and what's more YOU stopped me, too
You beckoned to me, and | thought you knew
me, or wanted to say something"
You're precious green one" said he and
all the folks inside the omnibus laughed as he
drove off.
kept on down the street till came to fire
plug on which | sat down to rest and look
around. The people came along up in such
crowds from the church with big steeple Trim
ity) that thought perhaps that had Just had a
morning meeting down there, and that the peo-
pie were going home to breakfast so thought
IA wait till they got past. But they kept COM
ing thicker and thicker; so thinks l. they must
have revival down at that church. and I'll lust
go down and see how they are getting along,
and give them some real Kentucky revival
hymns, on the hallelujah order.
SO went along down. Before got to the
NJ
with stick on his shoulder, on the top of
which was a big board on this board was writ
ten, in big black letters
STRANGERS. BEWARE OF MOCK AUCTIONS
Thinks | what is a mock auction? This is
something new | must look into it; and in
my curiosity t1 penetrate the mysteries of
mock auction, forgot the meeting at the big
church.
| Wnll nl 10 Ia, 1 Il
chap with the big board was standing, and look
ed in. \ nice Young man was selling all kinds
of valuables Right next door man was sell
ling things too and it occurred to me that he
had got that chap with the big board to stand
before the first mans door so as to iniure his
business. This struck me as being real mean
my sympathies were touched my Kentucky
grit began to ferment, and determined to pat
ronizc the injured party; for, you know, Ken
tuckian always goes in for fair play and no IA
vors asked
While | stood thinking over the matter. the
man who was selling watches, the injured par
~" happened to see me, and immediately bow
ed to me in very polite manner. This was
the first bow Id received in New York, and il
came over me with most gratifying effect
Says to myself, I've found a gentleman at last
who is no upstart, and who understands the
""'S - " l'N4lH' NbNltlNs TtluIntu MS DOW,
and he then politely asked me to walk in. which
did. Just as | stepped in he bid off hand
some gold watch for $ljl. Bless nv soul
thinks l. what fool was not to have bid on
that, might have had nice gold watch TO
take home to my wife. and how proud she would
have been So, says |, "Neighbor. have YOU
more Of tMom?"
AYES sir he answered "here's splendid
gold watch and chain left for sale by Young
gentleman from Cuba, who is out of money. and
must sell them At some price. | hope gentle
men Will bid literally for the gentleman is very
worthy. aud in great need
The folks began to bid. Three dollars SAYS
one; five dollars. says another Thinks |. that's
low T iGai way way so 1s SAYS a9Gs 2sGicc% af dollars
suppose that rather frightened the company for
after that nobody else bid a cent, and the watch
was knocked down to me. The man who sold |
II then went to the other end of the counter. /
telling me to pay the money to another man
who was sitting at desk with big account book !
open before him. paid the money and then |
went to the other end of the room for my watch. |
When the auctiOneer handed it to me it struck |
me that it didn', look Ike the one had bid for.
and on examining il closely saw il was nothing |
but colpo'! SO says /
"This amt gold"
I'Ni ""4 lHHt IL SASu, Silu ut.
"Ncll, | don't care what YOU trqyTdnfcd il |
for; you sold it for gold watch, and it isn't
gold: 50 just give ne back my money"
81 have no authority to return money to any |
one, else ! should be happy to accommodate
you. You must speak to the cashier to whom
you paid the money.
then asked the cashier for my money, but
ne said he had no authority to return or pay
1ut money either. | asked him who had au-
hority, then, 10 give me back my money. He
said no one in the establishment had authority
% pay out money under any circumstances.
Said |, you all seem ready enough to take in
money, and its odd none of you can pay it out.
He replied that according to the rules of the
establishment any one connected with it could
'eceiye money, but no one could pay it out
md the rules he said were always strictly en-
orced.
Wen, said |, you're a darn pretty set; I ney-
n heard of such o system before and shan't
tand it now. The fact is, my Kentucky dander
IL just about this time, and | determined to
whip the rascal, if he didn't give me back my
money; but before | could get at him, chap.
Who said he was policeman, told me confden-
tally that if made disturbance he should be
obliged to take me to the Tombs. This put a
lamper on my combativeness, for had heard
lorrid stories about the Tombs, and wouldn't
rave gone there for dozen watches. So /
hought I'd coax him to give me back my mon
" but he wouldn't listen to me at all.
looked at the watch. 1t was Just the mean
st looking thing that ever licked and, thinks
:, shall give such thing to my wife E? could
IT stand the thought. What take copper
watch home us present to my wife to the
mother of my children just took the thing
W the chain, and says L
"See here; do you suppose I'll take such
watch home to my wife, No, sir. Now, if
ou don't give me back my money, I'll take it
nut on the sidewalk and dash it into a thousand
,ieces!"
"0h," said he, at was a lady's watch you
wanted, was it9 Why didn't you say so before
We can sell you a splendid married lady's
iatch-just the thing for your wife; and l will
i've you written guarantee of its genuine
ess; no cheat about that watch"
"Well,' replied, "but what shall do with
he eighteen dollars I've fooled away on that
opper thing?" l
"Oh, that shall count on the other; I'll take '
he copper watch back" t
"Well," thinks I, "Pll 60 it I'll save my Sls,
ny how. So | took hold of the one he show /
me- and examined II coref,nv Wbo,, I $50. | '