The eastern clarion. [volume] (Paulding, Miss.) 1837-1863, 1859-01-08
From HdTpe's Weekly.
Jim Franklin and the Failing Stars e"


now only interesting as relic of the past
FTom Harpc's Weekly
Jim Franklin and the Failing Stars"
BY A SOUTHERN LAWYER.
The meteoric shower that fell on the
thirteenth of November, 1888, exhibited
a scene long to be remembered by all
who witnessed it. To the enlightened and
well informed, it was grand, awful and
sublime but to the ignorant and super
stitious, overwhelming and terrific.
Such a countless number of meteors
never fell from the empyrean in so short
a space of time before or since, the the
ories of Humboldt and Capt. Twining to
the contrary Notwithstanding.
A few weeks after this grand display of
fireworks, Jim Franklin, or Uncle Jim,"
as he was most generally called, was
seen hobbling about on crutches, his lower
extremities covered with superabun-
dance of red flannel. Jim's early educa-
tiOnal advantages had been very limited.
His learning from books and schools was
contracted to the acquisitions of a few
months, by a mind not at all inclined to
study. But he had prospered in the world,
Ebert, where he lived, had accumulated a
snug fortune. He was a general favorite
in his neighborhood and but for slight
habit of indulging sometimes too much
in the 'ardent," might be termed an un-
learned, shrewd and exemplary man.
Jim was sitting, with a number of gen.
tlemen, in the Petersburg Inn, his feet
nicely adjusted in another chair, with his
crutches across his lap, when some one
inquired why he was working himself in
shafts Where-upon he explained: "You
see we had at our house the other night
small sprinkle of what we honestly
tuck to be the day of judgmentp It
turned out we were slightly mistaken;
but | assure you, if I'm any Judge of
small matters, it was a right good counter
felt of that great day, when they say there
is to be general smash up. Many one
of us, for while, thought it was the
genewine coin, and as the masons would
say conducted ourselves accordingly"
] took the wrong shute at the start. Now
they say, MAN proposes and God ex-
poses" this may or may not be good scrip
ture: at the latter end Of my sperience /
would call it good sense.
| was suddenly wakened outin a sound
sleep, not by Gabriel's horn, but a noise
] mighty nlBu as lOuN, II not neaTn 50
I wife, children and niggers were screaming
| and hollerin' "the day of Judgment was
| come, the stars was all fallin the world
was a burnin' up" ! sprang up, looked
| at the heavens-never seed such pre-
| cedencies thar before! Thar being no
| mountains and rocks convenient to call
| on to hide me, l tuck bee line with
average ingine speed, for the well, which
| would say is ninety-two feet deep in
the clear. It's the deepest hole in the
ground | knowed anything about. When
| got thar | found Bob and Sam, two of
my niger boys, on quandary which of
the two elements to chuse Bob, bright
molatto, was for water Sam, an onmixed
African was for turning Sallymandy, and
facin' the music. Says, l, Boys clear the
track and take hold of that MINDLESS and
let me down into the bowels of the yearth,
as soon as the natur of the case will admit
of; the outside is getting .unwholsome
sure?' Then without hat coat, vest,
| pants, stockings or shoes, | got in the
bucket and started; they hadn't turned
the MINDLESS twice round when hollered
to 'em to slip the britchin and let me slide.
No sooner said than done, when l whirled,
curslosh, nigh onto three foot in the
water. No man could have made the
4
he'd a had to tuck a far start at that.
About the time the water settled round
me, and was kivered all but my head,
felt fire-proof, and calkerlated they'd have
to burn low to get mel Now they say
man in a deep WELL in day time can see
stars. | allow them is fixed stars The
ones / saw from that well that night was
travellers, certain Besides if there was
any fixed stars that night l never seed
'em. Some said they watched the morn
ing star and as long as that stuck they
had hope.
/ made the boys draw me up several
times to see how things overcoming on /;
but when one of them big blazing meturs
would dart towards me, ! would whurl
down to the length of my cable. soon
found l had gone beyant what was COM
Portable; | got tired of playing bull frog,
and felt like taking the fire, no matter in
what quantity or whar from III Jest say
right here, if any man should have hydro
toby agin fire and put himself through
my performances in that well, an amt
cured, his disease is two deep for hydro
pathy. Iput on dry clothes tuck stew
of whiskey and red pepper, but too late
the rumatics had mel So in bracing agin
fire | got busted on water
= l
occasion by long jump. Ny neighbor.
Sam Stewart, cum over next morning, and
, aXed me how we stood the racket? He
looked solemn as a preacher; said his
| dwelling had never before been house
: | of prayer, but if they din't make up for
, lost time he was no Judge O 'ligious exer.
| cises. He said he and his crowd prayed
q | nigh onto four hours; they heard the
, clock strike three times while they were
, on their knees. He said, the fact was
: they exhausted the argument, and he got
! up, and hadn't another word to say if the
q day of judgment had cum. And I'm
Q thinking I'd cum out better if I'd relied
n on faith and prayer instead of sich work
: as | did"
! In this opinion the company concurred
+ and laughed long and loud at his nara
4 tive. When the noise of their mirth haC
: ceased, some one remarked to Jim if hi
had been as smart and philosophical as on
a. of his ancestors BENJAMIN Franklin, h
% would not have been at all alarmed ant
~ could have explained it. Il have hear
,f of him BEFORE" said Jim: "he war tn
m fellow could go out, when dangersom
10 clouds were surging by, pull lightning on
IL EN-, sample il, bless you and carry tn
% keenest home, and put it way in bottle
IL to speriment with. But he done this Il
4 | the broad day time when he were wild
~ awake, which man should be when h
. handles that article. But wake him VI
10 | at midnight outin deep sleep, make tn
n racket around him which were turned
M loose about me, and let him see the star
~ a falling. If he will set to siphering ou
30 causes, and forget consequences, he Is no
,e- kin to me. Now there is Franklin SOLO
~ mon, and the other apostles the Scrlptur'
ho speak ofwere smart in their day out tne.
would be nowhar with our people and tn
M fixinsY was in Augusta tother day an'
III saod RAILROAD engine and train com,
y dasbinc in, Suppose old man Solomon
u bod seen the like of that come snorting
- tearing. laundering by him what do yo'
:: :n think would be his performances Th'
- wsv he'd run into his timple and slam thu
- door. Law low, and say nothing would be
" canton to his big family. Now Franklin
he mont give it thunder, as he dealt IN tn
y article but Solomon, not having the whar
- With would make himself scase. III,
ie old gentleman never thought of suel
tbines Now John, on Patterson's lslanC
dreamed sich or something like unto them
; II SoIomon's dreams had tuck that dl
- rection. il would have turned his proyerb
~ into revelations and might have contuse'
~, the Scriptures Some gentleman asKe' 7's
" Jim where Patterson's Island was! ~
~ ~ none of my look out ! kalculate us
=, liS fine place foF dreamin; whether good TO
- cotton. | don't know, but would advis
he its owners to keep it hid out, lest the An
ho glo Saxon specie mout take hiking 70 IL
"a and claim it, in working up to their elea
~ and manifest destiny"
~ ~ Here a voice from without informe'
~; ~ Jim his buggy was ready; when, by tn
IL aid of his shafts. he worked himself out o
- 20 the room, amid the hearty cheers an
~ farewell of his friends.
is >
lie 'You look" said an Irishman to a pale
no. hooCord sDaoker y "a if Won had ,yot -,