The Buchanan County guardian. (Independence, Buchanan County, Iowa) 1858-1864, 1859-07-07
Pat and the Lovers.

rather freely during the day; and en-
quired if he could obtain lodgings for
the night Having been assured in the
affirmative, he expressed desire to re-
tire Immediately. TO which the land
lord replied, being naturally lazy, and
particularly so then; having been one of
his own best customers that day
"lf l give you alight and tell you the
number of the room, YOU can find it, |
suppose %
Och jist show me the way, and
I'll find it as aisy as the Virgins showers
down blessings upon the sinful, replied
our hero; IA
The landlord gave him candle, and
directed him to room in the third story
of the house, and then resumed his seat
Our hero, just as he had reached the top
of the first flight of stairs, by some mis-
movement, extinguished his light; find
ing himself suddenly in the dark, he
stopped and cast a hurried glance about
him, espied rays of light issuing from a
room, the door of which stood slightly
ajar. <0U
Thither he directed his steps, and up
on looking in, he saw stand with a
lighted lamp upon It, and chair upon
- IL - of m, haI ,,l al,
lay man apparently asleep. 1t took
not many minutes to determine him to
discontinue his search for the room, to
which he had been directed, thinking the
man whom he had just discovered would
make no objections to taking him for
bedfellow for the night, especially if he
did not awaken him. Accordingly he
set about undressing, preparatory to en-
tering the bed of his friend, as noslessly
as possible. Having Invested himself of
his clothing, he crept quietly into the
back part of the bed.
Scarcely was this done, before young
lady and gentleman entered the room
and took their respective seats upon the
chairs we have mentioned, and began an
interesting conversation, especially to
our hero, who was most attentive lis
tener.
AS the moments rolled by, the converse
ton warmed into all the fervor of gem
uine country courtship; and soon the la
dy exchanged her chair for the lap of
her lover, who, by way of reception i'm
pressed kiss upon the lips of his
/" sweet heart" This amused our hero
very much, and being perfectly free from
selishness, he resolved that his compan
ion should share the sport, accordingly
he gave him hunch with his elbow
But his companion was not easily awak
ened. Again the twain lay silent for a
few moments, when the lover acting up
on the principle that +" it is more blessed
to give than receive" implanted pair
of kisses on the fair ones cheek,
This was too much for the Irishman
to enjoy alone, so he set about, in earn
est, awakening his companion, who, by
the way, he thought slept very soundly.
lie hunched him several times, yet he
stirred not, He then put his hand upon
him intending to shake him, when, to his
horror. he found him cold as ice. Sy-
anonymous with this discovery he bound
ed from the bed exclaiming
Murther! murther Holy Saints of
Heaven protect me Blessed Jesus !
Holy Mither save me y at the same
time rushing toward the door, with moth
ing between him and nudity but gar
ment vulgarly styled "shirt," his hair
standing on end and his eyes starting
from their sockets.
AT the same time the lovers might
have been seen dashing with the speed
of the wind, through the door, where
they were overtaken by our hero, and
all three went tumbling down stairs
head long, the Irshman with all sail set.
Of course we don't pretend to say who
reached The bottom first; but we know
that our hero was the last to re-asoend
The stairs for. Notwithstanding it was
explained to him, that it was the corpse
Of man who had died the night preyi
Gus, and that the lovers were the settlers
up for the night still he sternly refused
10 sleep that night, saying that "he
wasn't divil a bit shlapy"
We have only to adj that the sensation
produced upon the minds of the lovers,
WAS by no means pleasant one, think
ing as they did that it was the corpse
that so suddenly made its appearance,
Instead of our Pat, who had SO uncer-
mouiou-ly entered the room and gone to
bed