Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1859-08-27
A SQUIRTING JURY.

The following rich sketch contributed wears
ago to the columns Of the Washington News.
by its editor, VIM. Thompson, ESQ, is good
enough to be started again on its travels:
Once upon time, or, to be little more par
ucaiar, nearly half century ago, there dwelt
in the town Of -, in Old England, remark
able oddity, in the person of an attorney at
law, who although not fair to look upon, Gor
he was in truth one of the homeliest specimens
withal person Of sound Judgment, great be-
nevolence, varied learning, a poet, n painter
and wit of no mean order.
1t so happened that the aforesaid gentlem an
G-G-,Esq was appointed High Sheriff
OF the town Of. He was a man Of fortune,
and had kind heart, as many poor prisoner
could testify who partook Of the good cheer
with which the prisoners were liberslly suppii-
ed Mt CHRISTMAS and other ell-known festivals
from the private purse of the High Sheriff.
II was Of course the duty Of the High Sheriff
to summon Grand and Petit Jury, to attend
At the Quarter Sessions. Of which the Recorder,
Mayor and Aldermen of the borough composed
the court In the performance of his official
duty IN summOning the Petit Jury, our High
Sheriff INDUCED in some of the strangest and
drollest freaks that have probably ever been
heard OF in any other town or country In
the first place, he summoned for the October
court jury consisting of twelve of the fattest
H.
they came to the book to be sworn, 1T appears
that only nine jurors could sit comfortably in
the box. After a good deal of sweating,
squeezing, and scolding, the panel was liter
ally jammed into the box snd when seated
they presented to the eye of the court. the bar
rIsters and audience, 1.-The tighest fit Of a
Jury that was ever seen in n courtroom. Lit
orally they became much 10 the amusement of
the court and its robed advocates, "a packed
jury" and no mistake, T...I.H t
For the January term, our facetious High
Sheriff, Tin consequence, 1t was said, of some
hint from the Recorder that there should be no
more fat panels summoned to his court) went
70 the opposite extreme. He summoned twelve
of the leanest and tallest men he could find in
the borough, and when they took their seats
IN the box IL appeared comparatively empty
there was indeed room enough for twelve more
Of the same sort and dimensions
For the April term of the court our humor-
Gus functionary summoned jury consisting of
twelve BARRIERS Now il happened that among
the latter were the very perruquiers who
dressed the recorder and barristers' wigs; and
some of the latter, arriving late at the bar had
TO appear that morning in court with their
wigs undressed or half dressed. so as to cut a
very ridiculous figure, amid the smiles and half
suppressed laughter of the bystanders. The
High Sheriff enjoyed the fuss amazingly, but
looked grave rs a judge" while he tried to
keep silence in the courtroom
But the croWning joke Of this waggish func-
tionsry occurred at the summoning Of his fourth
and last jury at the summer sessions in July
For that term Of the court the High Sheriff.
not having the fear Of the recorder, the Mayor
and the aldermen before his eyes. actually
summoned squintiDg jury; twelve as queer
looking bipeds as ever took their seats in a
jury bOx-a jury that was proba bly, more looked
at and laughed at than any of the appointed
twelve that ever swore to - we'll and truly try
and true deliysrance make, between their Soy
ereign Lord the King and the prisoner at the
bar
But the scene was SO irresistibly droT that
the learned recorder could not maintain his
gravity The Mayor and Aldermen followed
suit. The barrsters laughed while their wigs
became bald and powderless; nav even the moor
prisoners in the dock, who we're to be put upon
their trial, and some Of them undergo trans
portati0n, could not refrain from joining the
general cachination, And when the learned
recorder commanded the High Sheriff to bring
the COURTROOM to order, and intimated, with
a half suppressed laugh, that the latter ought
20 be ashamed Of himself for summoning such
jury. the drOllery Of this court scene was
considerably heightened by the quick ready
and sonorous response Of the High Sheriff. who,
looking at the same time at the s1uinting jury
exclaimed, All good and lawful men, your
honor
But our humorous functionary has long since
" shufaed of his mortal coil"