The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1859-03-12
Phunnygraphs.

slides, Spanish woman glides, an American
lady trots, and an English woman tramps
"ln our midst" This phrase is seldom
more oppositely used than in describing the
collie as spain in our midst"
Why should potatoes grow better than
other vegetables? Because they have eyes
TO see what they are doing.
why is dancing like new milk? Because
/: strengthens the calves.
A drunkard, upor hearing that the earth
was round, said i accounted for his rolling
oil go much.
For views of the Rhine look into the pork
barrel.
The history Of the late Rev, Dr. John Kit
TO is entitled &" From Poor House to Pulpit"
If the lives Of many preachers were publish
ed, they might trulhhully be called e From
the Pulpit to the Poor House"
a Frenchman has written to say that he
had invented n remedy for the 2th-ake, which
vii! allevi-s all pain 4th-with
A dealer in ready-madr linen advertises his
shirts and chemisettes under the melliiuous
pppellation of Male and Female envelopes"
An alderman having grown enormously
fat while in office, wag wrote on his back,
Widencd at the expense OF the corpora
ton"
iiittiv Soy= u, ,ereeateFt= =,s=s=.sT's
with an Irish servant girl TO the Catholic
church, because his Protestant parents feared
the noise he might make on his first appear
ance at churchStol his father, on his return,
that he did not like the preacher, :" because
he put on a night gown before folks"
The above reminds us Of the enquiry of
fve-year-old in our streets; who seeing the
Catholic Priest the other day, pass in his
long robes, asked him why Ire wore petit
coats
The ships cooks wife held washing-day
on board, whilst the feet lay OF Brest. The
draperes Auttered in the wind. "What flag
is that asked the1admipd1. "The flag Of oil
nations" replied the captain of the flag ship !
"a petticoat and no mistake"
Jones does not dot his is nor cross his IS,
His talk is no less laconici he never uses
the personal pronoun |. Lately, n-ref.ly to
lne QuthlloHf put III IhNntl hh
tone, "Where we're you bornp" he replied,
know where and you may find it out"
One very cold night a village doctor was
reused from his slumbers by a very loud
knocking at the door After some hesitation
he went to the wirdow, and asked, "Who's
there PA friend. What do you what p
- ITO stay here all night."-"Stay then, and
welcome" was the benevolent reply, as he
closed the window, and crept again into
bed.
In the Court Of Special Sessions, recently
man was arragned for stealing demUohn
containing three gallons of whiskey. "Are
you guilty, or not guilty P" asked the clerk.
"Wnl you can tell it what you likes TUX
the whskey, that / admit, and drnk6d it
too.r-"You took it without leave, did you
not p"-.I never wait to be asked, when that
articles around"
A penuy-a-liner never uses the word to
eat, but defines il thus :-"To insert Rutri-
sious pabulum into the denticuated orfoe
below the nasal protuberance, which being
masticaled, peregrinntes through the cartila-
ginous cavities of the larynx, and is finally
domiciliated in the receptacle for digestible
PARTICLES" In this way, he turns three letters
into five lires. He knows his trade.
Mrs Jones'" said a gentleman, one day
last summer, when railroad accidents were so
nuaerous, 10 lady whose husband was a
brakeman, Mrs. Jones. do you feel worried
about Mr.. Jones while he is on the cars, in
view of the many accidents that are nov dali
ly occurring "Ne, not at nll,T replied the
cunten;.d lady, "for IL he is killed. know /
shall be paid for it, because Mr.. Williams got
$40 for his COW that was run over by the cars
u few days since"