Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1859-03-24
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- Why repent second time OF an action
of which We have already repeptcd?
- In whatsoever house you euter, remain
master Of your eyes and tongue.
What is it You must keep after giving !
it to another?. Your word.
-"These are stirring times" as the boy
said when he got into hornets nest:
IF all the fouls wore white caps, We
should look like flock of geese,
Family Ties-A marriage certificate and
eight children
Dog stealing in the second degree
hooking bologna sausages.
There is only one. objection to- people
who "mean well, and that is they never
can spare time to carry out their meaning
When you negotiate for house having
all the modern improvements, don't forget
to look for mortgage rs one of them.
A Frenchman has written tn say that he
had invented remedy 6pr the 2thake, which
will allevi8 all pain 4th with.
Mamma, said promising youth of some
four or five years. if all peorle are made of
dust, ain't niggers made of coal dust?
IF man cannot find ease within him
self, it is to little purpose to seek 1t anywhere
else.
Why does the cook make more noise
than the bell Because one makes din and
the other dinner.
When we record our angry feelings. let
it he on the snow that the first beam of sun
shine may obliterate them forever
A generous mind dnes not feel as be-
longing to itself alone, but to the whole hui.
man race.
There are some men whose opposition
can he reckoned upon against everything
that has not emanated from themselves.
-Curiosities Wanted.-A handle for
blade of grass. A letter written with cow
pen. A feather from the wing of a hospital.
We always think of a very mean man.
that he was made by one of natures cobblers,
and, like an unfinished boot, thrown off
without being .sou1ed.
There is no occasion to trample- upon
the meanest reptile, nor to sneak to the
greatest prince. Iusolence and baseness are
equally unmaply.
- Instead Of retaliating upon the man who
calls you villain, liar, a thief, coeify in
form him that you have not sufficient conf
dence in his veracity to believe him =.
-"Dad. did you always act so strange 2"
"Why, Billy2"5 "Because when Nam GETS
sick. yon always have to fetch baby here
t, suual round and make sich noise"
A cotemporary wants to know the exact
number of toes in the foot Of a mountain.-
Also. the number and color of teeth in tho
mouth of a river.
What difference is there Between fool
and n Iooking.elass. Answer, One speaks
without rejecting, and the other reflects
without speaking.
Whv is a dandy like mushroom Be
cause he's regular sap-head. his waist Is
remarkably slender, his growth is exceeding
ly rapid. and his top is uneommonly tender.
Why are ladies the biggest thieves in
existence ?-Ans-Because they steel the
petticoats, bone the staYs, and crib the ba-
bies.
Lever. in one of his stories, tells of a
dashing individual who boiled his hams in
Sherry wine; wherent an honest Hibernian
exclaimed, Il wish I was pig them times
myself
- When men do not really wish to 20 in
to the support Of good cause heart and
hand, they grow remarkably conscientious
and see irreparable faults which they cannot
possibly overlook and pass by. 60.
- Rev. J W. johnson, a missionary re-
turned from China, says thac Spiritualsm,
with all its mysterious adjuncts of rappinga,
&c., has been a common phenomenon in
China for more than two thousand years.
THE Pennsylvania Railroad Company
own 200 locomotives and 1854 cars of one
kind and another. A pretty fair lot Of "rol-
ling stock" to be wheeled around and over
the Allegheny mountains :.
- Father want you to buy me a gun.
A gun, Willie! What are you going to do
with a gun? oh, am going to fight Tom
my Day; he says Susy Lake loves him bet
ter than she does me-
1t is proposed to establish an institution
for the education of young ladies, in which
the science Of weavology, spinology, and
cookology will form part. After obtaining
these accomplishments they may receive the
+. F. W. Fit for Wives.
1t is recorded chat an eminent bug
catcher chased butterfly nine miles before
he could catch him The chase for butter
A;es still continue, and some people expend
all their lives in chase of them in some form
or other. 80 5
"A pert young lawyer once boasted to an
old member of the bar, that he had received
two hundred dollars for speaking in cer-
tain case. "I received more than double
that sum for holding my tongue" 8as the
reply.
-"My dearest Maria" wrote quite af-
fectionate husband to his wife, asEong.min-
ded woman. She wrote him back, "Dear-