davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1859-09-14

WARS IN NAME 2"-Coming up
the river a few days since, an original
Irishman was on board the steamer-one
of those witty, genial fellows who are
never at ease only when they are keeping
those around him in the best of humor-
and among the many rich notes he passed
current was one which will do to pub.
lish." Our whilom Yorick had inquired
the name of every place along up, and had
passed his judgment. in his own peculiar
way, to the infinite delight of those around
him, on the scenery and prospects of the
country often comparing them with places
in and about Tyrone, Bantry. Cork Drog-
heda, &C., Sat home" informing them, by
the way, that he was a member of the
great O'Regan family, and descended from
a long line of illustrious sunts.sisters :"
when, on nearing Albany, the steamer
Oregon hove in sight Instantly he ex-
claimed "O-r-e-g-a-n, O'Reean oh,
be jabers nat four ,ceeks in tie coHn.
thyy Vet, and SthamebOai ciyistened
atther me :" 1t is needless to say what
followed Troy Times. Aug. 20.
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1859-09-14

Among the effects of frail young lady,
whose suicide in indianapolis we mention.
ed the other day, were the daguerreotype
likenesses of we'll known single and mar
ried men OF that city. They are adverti-
sed to be sold, with the rest of her effects
at public auction. An injured wife pro-
poses, through the columns of the news
papers. that the likenesses be bought
framed and suspended at the post office
as warning to all indiscreet men, .es.
pecially married ones 2" She says the
silent grief and wrongs OF many married
women" Of that city " is tale untold" !"
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1859-09-14
BRoADcLoTH THE ENEMY OF HEALTH.

BRoADcLoTH THE ENEMY OF HEALTH.--
Prof Hamilton, in an able address on
hygiene to the graduates of Buffalo Med
ical College, denounced Broadcloth as an
enemy to exercise and therefore to health.
He says
American gentlemen have adopted as a
national costume, broadcloth--a thin,
tight fitting black suit of broadcloth To
foreigners, we seem always to be in mourn
ing we travel in black, We write in black
and We work in black The priest, the
lawyer, the doctor, the literary man, the
mechanic, and even the day laborer, chose
always the same unvarying, monotonous
black brosdcloth a style and material
which never ought to have been adopted
out OF the drawing.rooma or the pulpit
because it is feeble and expensive fabric,
because it is at the North no suitable pro,
lection against the cold, nor is it indeed
any more suitable al the South. 1t
is too thin to be worn in he winter, and
too black to be cool in the summer but
especially do We object to it because the
wearer is always afraid of soiling il by
exposure. Young gentlemen will not play
ball orpt luoits, or wrestle aud tumble
or any other similar thing lest their broad
cloth should be offended. They will not
go out into the storm, because the broad
cloth will lose lustre if the rain falls upon
it; they will not run, because they have
no confidence in the strength of the broad
cloth they dare not mount horse, or
leap fence, because broadcloth as every
body knows is so laithess. So taese
young men, and these older men, mer-
chants, mechanics, and all learn to walk,
talk, and think soberly and carefully:
they seldom venture even to laugh to the
full extent Of their sides.
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1859-09-14

1t is an easy matter to knock
crotchGt out of crazy mans head if you
can only hit him right. An old gentle
man, whose brain wa. little turned,
called out to his son one night;
Abel Abel Satan has bssn temp
ting me all night to go and drown myself
in the horsstrough."
Well, be mast be great fool" said
abel, for there has not been drop of
water in it for six weeksl'
The old gentleman turne over and
went to sleep, thinkin. no mora of evil
spirits
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1859-09-14
POETRY.
From the Olive Branch.
The Prospect from the Summit of
the Green Mountains,

From the Olive Branch.
he Prospect from the Summit of
the Green Mountains.
BIZ ASDREw h, MILLS
stand upon this rock,
Which has for ages stood
Unmoved, by each successive shock
vi tempest or of food:
And through all time the same,
Shall this firm pillar stand,
Unaltered as when first it came
Forth from its Makers hand.
The prospect, o. how grand,
Which spreads before my ewes,
The water and the solifhland
In quiet slumber lies
With gittering spires in view,
And forests robed in green.
While floating clouds thro' fields of blue,
Add beauty to the scene.
Hemmed in among a chain
vi bills that reach the skies.
lhe quiet water Vt Champan,
Like molten silver lies
While on its tranquil breast,
A thousand sails are spread.
Which in the distance seem to rea
Like marble o'er the dead.
The plowman at his toll
Goes whistling meath my feet.
And as he turns the sturdy soil.
Finds JOY and labor meet;
His thoughts are on hi. home
Where wife and children dwell
Content, he wishes not to roam
From those he loves so well.
His s happy lot,
As mortals well might be.
To dwell in this secluded spot
From care and sorrow free;
He loves his country's weal,-
Let foes attempt her thrai,
And none more prompt with nerves ofsteel
would answer to her call -
Above me, and around,
No sound of life is heard;
VI beasts that tread upon the ground,
Or voice of singing brid:
While from the cid gray trees
There comes wailing tone,
As 6owing to the passing breeze,
They tell OF ages gone.
How solemn ia this place,
By man so seldom trod,
Where mortal almost face 10 face.
May hold converse with God;
Where round me vast and grand,
Stupendous works appear;
While within this Temple stand,
A single worshiper.
Here, chastened and serene.
My humble soul would bow
To Him, who spread the lovely scene
Which rests before me now;
And when turn away
From this enchanting spot,
o, never, to my dying day,
Be this sweet scene forgot.
".
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1859-09-14
BRANDON SEMINARY.

Tn. Fall uerll OF this Institution will COM
uusoce on Wednes day, September, eth, under the
direction Of Mr.. C. B. Smith, A. NJ, as Principal.
Mr.. Smith is a graduate of Middlebury College,
aud his past experience and success as teacher
will be, we hope, satisfactory recommendation
as he enters upon his new field oi labor; lie
will be assisted by a full and competent Board
Of Instructors, and no efforts will be spared to
make be School profitable resort for those de-
string to At for business teaching, or for College
lssw L. c. SCOTT, seey
Brandon, July 80. 1859.
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1859-09-14

A VIsGr TO RoBINsoN CRUsoE's ISLAND.
While on board the ship Golden Rocket
lying at Greenwich Dock, we were per-
mitted by Captain G. N. Pendleton to ex-
anime his log book, in which he gives an
account of his visi, to the Island of Juan
Fernandez Robinson Crusoes Island).
The ship was on her last passage to this
port from Boston, and had on board 55
passengers, 25 of whom were ladies, who
intend to make California their future
place of residence, Getting short of water
Capt. Pendleton decided to stop to Juan
Fernandez for further supply, and there
fore shaped his course thither-the island
being nearly in his track At 6 P. NJ,
on the evening of March "a, they doubled
the eastern end of the island, and at 7
rounded to, off the bay of st. Joseph, at
the head of which the few inhabitants now
remaining on the island are located. The
facilities for loading water at the island
Capt Pendleton represents to be not very
good. The casks must be taken on shore
and filled, rolled back into the water and
parbuckled into the boat. While the
crew we're at this work the passengers
rambled off in different directions to make
discoveries The island is twenty-five
miles long by about four in breadth. The
land is very high, rising in rugged, pre-
cipitous peaks one of them, called
Tunkque, $500 feet above the level of
the sea. The peaks are generally over
hung with clouds. The valleys are ex-
ceedingly fertile, the grass growing to the
height Of six or eight feet
Figs, strawberries, peaches and cherries
abound in then season, The Golden
Rocket was there in the season of peaches
and the valleys ana hilsdes were full of
trees, and loaded down with delicious
fruit. Capt. Pendleton bought four bar.
rels of the inhabitants, and the passena ,rs
about as many more. Strawberries aouri7h
best IN December and January. There
are three remarkable caves in the sides Of
tie hill facing the hsrbor, about 80 feet
in length, - in width, and about the saIne
in height. The inhabitants now number
but Ia, Of whom Messrs. Day and Kirk
aldie from Val paraiso are the chief per-
sons they ma We been appointed overseers
of the island by the Chlian Government.
Formerly penal colony, numbering 500,
was located hore, and the caves above
mentioned were used by them, but the
project was found to be impractlcable,
and the convicts We're taken back to the
mainland. The Golden Rocket anchored
on the opposite side from that upon which
Selkirk lived, and there being mountain
to cross to reach the Robinson Crusoe
abode, no one ventured to make the Jour.
ney. The best landing is on the eastern
side, but the water is twenty fathoms deep
at the head of the bay, and in some places
80 bold is the shore thai boat tied by
her painter. and drifting to the limits,
would be in seventy-fve fathoms. An
immense number of goats are running
wild over the island, and an abundance
of fish are taken on every coast. The
water is obtained from a number of never,
failing rivulets trickling down over the
rocks from the cloud.capped mountains
San francisco Times.
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1859-09-14

The Bobolink, sings at the North in
black aud white livery, but going South
changes his coat and his note, and like
many another northern-bred black coat,
drops into good living, and grows fat in
the rice swamps and forgets to use his
voice except to call for more food, or
raising an alarm cry when there is some
danger of losing what he has got.---R. ".
HssshO.
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1859-09-14

There is a man in Exeter whose mem
ory is so short hat it only reaches to his
knees Per consequence, he has not paid
for his last pair of boots.
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1859-09-14

A wag was once heard to say, that
the only difference between the Southern
and Northern people is, those at the South
never sell anything they can eat, while
those of the North never eat ANYTHING
they can sell.
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1859-09-14

Why cannot deaf man be legally
convieted2 Because it is not lawful to
condemn man without hearing.
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1859-09-14

"A manufacturing wire-worker, in an
advertisement, invites the public to come
and see his invisibie wire fences.
The Council Bluffs nonpareil. [volume] (Council Bluffs [Iowa]) 1857-1867, 1859-06-11
A POSER,

A young Johnathan took it into his head
once to get Il wife. lie accordingly looked
around him, and was not long in striking Il
bargain and settling his preiiminaries. lie
then applied to clergyman to perform the
ceremony.
"But are you prepared for such an i'm
portant change in lfe:" asked the reverend
gentleman.
81 guess beez," said Johnathan, for
have got my farm just paid for, and own
good yoke Of steers and cow"
every WELL" said the holy man, with q
long breath and sober face, call these
things may be very proper in their place
to be sure; but have you ever thought oi
salvation 90
This was poser, and Johnathan, musiug
repeated:
"Ssl Walton? never heard Of her--wh,
the thunder is she %
The Council Bluffs nonpareil. [volume] (Council Bluffs [Iowa]) 1857-1867, 1859-06-11

~ Whilom when David Scott presided
in the Judicial District now composing the
counties of Wayne, Pike. Monroe and Car
bon, in Pennsylvania, Judge D. was an
associate upon the bench. These counties
border upon the Delaware River, which j.
the boundery line between New Jt rsey and
Pennsylvania. Judge D., thou gh q
man Of unhlcmished integrity and high char
acter, had some excentricities. and among
them peculiar aversion to "niSgers." To
use his own words, Gle knew all about a
nigser: was raised among niggers; and o
niger would be nigger any way you could
fix it," One day a bla K man was duly
convicted of larceny, and called up for SEN
tence. The Judge was performing his
arduous duties as an associate in an arm.
chair, bare footed, coat off, and asleep
The Presiding Judge, as is usual in such
cases, saw proper to call upon his associate
in fixing the penalty to be imposed upon the
guilty man and give Judge D. y nudge
in the ribs called his attention to the prison.
er ut the bar. ..-.
"ilold on, Mr.. Scott ~ said the Judge,
"l'll sentence that fellow. Niger, stand
up! You've been found guilty Of stealing
and ought to be hung; but this being your
first offence, the Court is disposed to let
yoa off easily The sentence Of II Court
is ,ha. you be banisled to State Of
New Jersey and may the LordN3Se mercy
on your soul! The court gives you Eve
minutes to get to the river, and if ever you
are caught upon this side Of the Delaware
again you shall be hanged Constable, give
the prisoner hundred yards the start, and
see that the sentence Of the Court is exc
cuted !"
The fellow struck bee line for Jersey,
and has never heen heard Of since. And
| this is true.
The Council Bluffs nonpareil. [volume] (Council Bluffs [Iowa]) 1857-1867, 1859-06-11
SORRY lie MENTIONED 1T.

One of our citizens, who loves his joke
about as we'll as folks usually do, had occa
sion tovisit one Of the small towns in the inte
rior of the State, and knowing he would have
considerable walking over muddy ronds, be
took with him pair Of rubber boots. He
arrived ut his destination about nine O'Clock
in the evening, and upon inquiry he found
the only tavern in the place was half mile
from the station. No conveyance was to be
had and the road was muddy in the extreme.
Congratularing himself on having his long
boots, he set off, and found the mud in some
spots so deep, his boots were barely long
enough. lie reached the hotel at last, look
ing rather soiled about the feet. After sup
per, he inquired the charges for lodgings.
"We usually CHARGE answered the land
lord, who also had some fun in his compo-
sition, twenty-five cents; but if u man
goes to bed with such boots as them on,
(pointing to his customers feet,) we charge
him fifty cents"
"A very good idea, should think" re-
turned the traveller.
After a half an hours conversation the
landlord showed him to his room, and they
parted for the night, mutually pleased with
each other. The next morning our friend
arose late, and inquirlng for the landlord,
learned that he was gone from home to at
tend to some business. After breakfast, he
handed dollar to the landlords wife say.
| ing:
/ There is fifty cents for my supper and
breakfast, and fifty cents for my lodging"
Twenty-Five cents is all we charge for
lodging" said the landlady.
YES" returned the traveller, "under or
] IL. r e.
cents is not too much.'
| The stranger departed, and the lady was
/ deep in conjecture as to what could be the
circumstance which required Il man to pay
double price for lodging, when her husband
returned.
"Ilas that man who slept in the front
chamber come down vet ~ he asked.
YES" answered his wife, "aud he ha:
gone away. llcpaid fifty cents for his lodg-
ing. and said under the circumstances, it was
right"
..The deuce he did - exclaimed the land.
lord rushing up stairs. His wife followed
to learn the meaning Of such strange pro.
cecdings, and found her husband with the
bed clothes turned down, and her best bee
/ looking more fit to plant potatoes in than fol
any human being to sleep in.
! "Nou saw that man when he came here
last night = said her husband.
''.Ics."
"iou saw his boots didn't you?"
! Yes"
"Wcll," said the landlord, "shc inferna
cuss slept in 'em.'
A few days after, the traveller on his re-
turn home, put up again at the same tavern
| Neither himself, nor the landlord said any
thing about the boots, which were in abou
the aame condition as on the previous occa
sion; but the landlord looked daggors at hin
and eyed the boots with much anxiety
About ten O'Clock he said he W ould retire.
And by-thc.by landlord" with u merr,
twinkle in his eye, show much do you usu
ally charge for lodgings?"
''We Charge" answered the landlord
with most tremendous emphasis, ''iwenty
five cents ."-Le,riston Name Adver:sser
The Council Bluffs nonpareil. [volume] (Council Bluffs [Iowa]) 1857-1867, 1859-06-11
WILL YOU HAVE ME-.

Last evening quite an amusing affair was
enacted At the Holiday street Theatre, which
was participated in by as large and fash
ionahie an audience as ever graced the
sold Drury," and We give it for the amuse-
ment of our readers as related by an eye
witness: While Miss Fanny Fitz Farren,
the beautiful and accomplished actress, was
performing her part in the play entitled
loan of a Love-, )" which was intcrsperscd
with the songs, IL don't think I'm ugly
",'ve no money, so you see," and ''Who'l
have mc?" the songstre,s paused for a
moment, as if waiting for an answer, when
IL verdant youth exclaimed at the top Of his
voice, which was characterized by feeling
of deep carnestncss, ~ will! ~ to which the
modest Indy, in n neat bow and win he'
bright eye hcaming with JOY, said, ''ThanS
you, sir" The answer drew forth from
the audience the most vocifcrous applause
which was INDUCED in for several minutes
In a short time thereafter the youth was
observed making a hasty exit from ta'
theatre.-- bait. Pat.
The Council Bluffs nonpareil. [volume] (Council Bluffs [Iowa]) 1857-1867, 1859-06-11
HOW ROYALTY BLOWS ITS NOSE.

Miss EsteIle A. Lewis, the poetess, writing
from Paris, thus describes the appe aranoe
of Napoleon the Little and his decidedly bet
ter half, while attending mass:
1.-The Empress seemed to be suffering
from cold, or something else, for she blew
her nose several times, loud enough to
awake the dead. She first carefully laid the
delicate organ in a large, fine, white hand
kerchief-then fairly drew herself up to the
business gave one long sounding blow, FIN.
ished with two or three short, quick ones.
in exact imitation of n conch calling the peo
pie from the workfelds. During the ser.
mon the Emperor and Empress sat with
their faces opposite my pew, and had 6
full view of them. While the Empress was
occupied with her nose, the Emperor kept 1
brisk gymnastic exercise with bis thumbs
making the one leap over the other. some
times turning somersets, as if to try thei
strength,
The Council Bluffs nonpareil. [volume] (Council Bluffs [Iowa]) 1857-1867, 1859-06-11
So 90 A YEAR, IN ADVANCE.
nrR.I GENTLEMAN AT THE OPERA.

ARuRAL GENTLEMAN AT THE OPERA.
A correspondent of the Chautauqus
| Democrat, Of jamestown, New York, ''to
kill time" visited Pixies Opera House du.
ring his stay in Cincinnati. He sends to the
Democrat the following startling criticism
upon the performances:
Some FIVE thousand persons were soon
seated, consisting Of the elite Of the city
it was the most fashionable audience ever
saw in Cincinnati. wish could describe
some Of the fashions displayed on the occa-
sion. The ladies now wear white thiDgum-
bobs, trimmed with scarlet, upon shoulders,
or rather upon the upper part OK
the arms-the shoulders were bare-and
the dresses seem to have been all cut too
short ut the top. Most of these fashionable
people carried those double barreled what
do-you call lens, such as Key threw at
Sckles.
After the usual delay, little bell rang,
and the orchestra came out and took their
seats. Strakosch took his seat at piano
he wore spotless white gloves, and with u
stick or wand commenced beating tho air
over the keys Of the piano, but did not
touch them. At. every emphatic stroke OK
the aforesaid wand, q tremendous slam or
fam came from the band, and then
Strakosch went on with his airy manipuls-
ti0ns.
About this time the curtains rose, and
the music commenced. The piece was
Mozart's celebrated II Don Giovanni, and
from this time for three hours the man in
white gloves did not cease TO beat the air
with his stick. First some old codger OF
all Italian, Signor Somebody, came forward,
and said or sung something in exceedingly
bad Dutch, should think he was followed
by IA chap tastefully dressed, who represent
ed Don Juan.
Next Madame Parodi, the world-rcnown-
ed signer, came forward with limping gait.
| should think she wore tight shoes, and was
afflicted with corns. She seemed much
troubled at what the other fellow had sung,
and made up an awful face. think she
must have been taken suddenly i'll with sick
ness at the stomach. Iwould advise her to
carry bottle of Perry Davis Pain Killer
constantly with her ,asI vasinstant!y relieved
o few days ago by q small dose.
While Don Juan was saying soft words
to her, Madame Strakosch came forward
and sang quite beautifully and sensibly for
moment, and then turned up her eyes like
sick cat, and the music sounded as if it
came from canary bid which she was try
ing to swallow alive. This strain gradually
swelled louder, till it eliminated in u grum
whoop, similar to one have heard from
our Indians while on the raft. This
brought down the house in whirlxind Of
applause.
As this is my first attempt at a criticisms
upon q musical concert, hope my musical
readers will excuse my lack Of proper
phrases, especially when inform them that
to save my life can't tel! "Old Zip Coon''
from cold Uundred.''
The Council Bluffs nonpareil. [volume] (Council Bluffs [Iowa]) 1857-1867, 1859-06-11
G. n. DODGE.
IN T. BALDWIN, G. n. D.
BALDWIN g. DODGE.
Bankers & Dealers in Exchans
COUNCIL BLUFFS, IOWA

Bankers & Dealers in Exchange,
COUNCIL BLUFFS. IOWA
COLLECTIONS MADE AND PROMPTLY RENTED
u at Current Rates OF Exchange.
Bills of Exchange, Gold and Silver, Current and un-
current Money Bought and Sold
Land Warrants Bought and Sold and Entered on Time
Interest Paid on Special Deposits.
Money Loaned on Real Estate and Personal Security.
Taxes uad for Resident and Nom Resident propre-
tors.
Correspondents may rely upon prOmpness, fidelity
and our perS.l attention to their interests the
OF any business which may be entrusted to
US. .-,,,,
American Exchange Bank, New York City.
J. p. Thompson.
Bank Of Illon, lllIon, n. y
Bank OF Cooperstown, Coopersto~n, n. r
Durkee & Bullock, Bankers, St. Louis, No.
Onondaga County Bank syracuse, n. \.
Warren Bank South DanverS, Mass
/ Stevens 4 Co, Bankers, TT. DcsEoincs.
Henry FarnLam Pres c. \ X. l. r. r., Chicago Ills.
Juo L. Henry Supt N. y NJ X. X. Davenport, Iowa
Cook Sargent x Downy, Bankers, Iowa City, Iowa
western Marine 4 Fire Insurance Company, Omaha
City, n. T.
lie Roy Tutte, Omaha City
James c. Mitchell ESD, Florence, n. T.
n b. Judd, Esq Chicago.
Merchants, Savings, Loan Trust Co, chicago
Corse Snowien & Corse, Alexandria, va
J. B. Bennett, Agt. Etna Fire Insurance Company
Cincinnati, Ohio. ,.
lanes Harlan U. s. s, Mt. Pleasant, Iowa
Hon s r. Curtis N. G, keokuk, Iowa
Coolbaugh 4 Brooks, Bankers, Burlington i"a.
July 4-nl0-u l'e f''
The Council Bluffs nonpareil. [volume] (Council Bluffs [Iowa]) 1857-1867, 1859-06-11

Ono would suppose that the Democrats
would be bathed in tears, and would be
wearing Grape upon their arms, at the pas.
sage of the Massachusetts two years Amend
IN mt. But instead of such symbols of sor-
row they are firing cannon, and jubilant over
its passage. Why shouldn't they be? 1t
is their bantling-they have nursed it in
to life, and now not to own and be merry
over their new born child would show a
want of proper paternal feeling. Out Of
one side of their mouth they below their
love for foreigner, and out of the othe,
they will bray their joy over the passage Of
tho" Amendment" that restricts his voting
in Massachusetts, to residence of two years
Democracy is jewel and so is csnsisten.
cy.-Iowa City Rep. g..