The Van Buren press., 1859-10-07
Reply to |" Lon"
Ort. 4th- 1859

Oct. 4th, 1859.
Mr. EDrToR. Some one writing for
your paper over the signature Of e Lon.
has taken upon himself the arduous task
of :. writing down" matrimony. He
cloaks his design under :. defence Of old
|bachelors.'" do not know your taste.
but Judging from pour past conduct. Mr..
Editor. i expect you are with me when l
say am far from admiring his style of
Z. cloaks.'s IF "Lon " ever dreamed that
anything good ever came Of preaching "old
lBachelorism,' that dream had hardly q
!" baseless fabric am called among the
young ladies, my companions, very good
euesser, and I'll risk portion of my rep
Iutation upon it, that g Lon " is not only
an old bachelor, but that he is one by the
force of circumstances. venture to say
he has been trying for years to get him
wife, and the very fact of his remaining
single so long is high compliment to the
shrewdness and good judgment of the sex
female generally. 1t is just such chaps as
" Lon," that render marriage state Of mis-
jerry, and if he were married, venture to
say he would have just such !" a time" as
he bemoans in his communication ; he
would be often met by sarcastic smile :"
for his stinginess, as he grumbles SO much
for the imaginary cash laid out for imagin-
ary 6nery. Hc would take no pride in
seeing his wife dressed handsomely Yin
having her appear in a creditable manner
before the public. He would make her
wear one bonnet throughout the four seas
ons. and his pitifully pinched heart would
take spasm if his wife should spend
few shillings for a common calico jress.-
He would never reflect upon the number of
cigars he smoked in one day, of the sundry
nasty guilds of tobacco which he might de-
light to " roll like sweet morsel d" under
his tongue of the nocturnal club-meetings
with the chaps;'' the "jolly fellows"-
the "bricks tho "good eggs" etc., with
whom he delights to carouse in defiance of
the rackings of conscience, and his unpar-
donable tremulousness at the name of
:" ghosts" Perhaps one of his many ac-
accomplishments may be reeling to his cold
and cheerless roost " without breaking
his nose, or smashing his shins. Perhaps
he has been all his life trying to find some
fortune. fool enough to let him have it on
condition that he would take its owner in.
Perhaps he has been seeking a perfect wo-
mantle more simpleton he, for am sure
they are the very kind he could not marry.
MIR. Editor, if it were not for my sex,
would address to you note latter taking
the adu'ce OF others, of course) demanding
the name of this chivalrous champion of
single blessedness, and I'd challenge him to
to fight duel with shot-guns loaded with
mush, and if didn't spatter him good
The idea of his talking about the misery of
married life, when he knows no more about
1t than mummy. Now, if he had never
attempted to rush into the estate-matrimo-
nial. there might be some excuse for his
making his random dashes at it but now
he is only stultifying himself By giving
warning against imaginary quicksands of
which he acknowledges he is ignorant Mr..
Editor, am not quite il" on the carpet,'' as
the saying is, yet, when the time comes l
will not hesitate to marry a handsome
young man who is able to take care of me,
and is an honest, Industrious fellox-will
behave and not afraid of ghosts of course
from what I've said, Lon " need not ap-
ply, for he'd be a ninney sure, and be hem
pecked, as he fears, in spite of all l could
do. hope he will take warning now, and
quit trying to cry down that of which, by
his own admission he is (unwillingly) ig-
norant. Mat.