The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1859-12-21

and | don't know who can do it better
than you"
In q moment Fred was gone, anG
we set our heads together, to form !
plan for taking care of the lovers.
II have it, boys" said Bill Sewers
Eve must make that girl think that
her lover is married.
"That's it, Bill-that'sit," said we
not giving him time to finish the SEN
tence.
"That he is a married man and the
father of children" said Bill.
That's the game. boys; now lei
usplay it.
1t Gevolved upon me to commence
operations Accordingly, / entered
the car in which we were informed the
lovers were. The girl, thinking,
suppose, that she must give her lover
all the seat, had taken a seat on his
knee; and he, for the purpose of pro-
tecting her, of course, had thrown his
arm around her waist; and so they
sat, in real, soft lovers style.
All this l gathered at glance.
Stepping up to them, | said -
Why, Jones, what in the duce are
you doing with this girl?"
The girl arose hastily and seated
herself on the seat.
See here, stranger" said the fell
low, you're mite mistaken; my
name amt jones'"
Why, Jones'" said I, "you GER:
tainly haven't left your wife and chill
dren, and tried TO palm Yourself off for
a single man, have your"
Il tell you my name amt Jones
it's Harper. 1t never was Jones;
faint goin' to be, nuther."
| merely shook my head, and passed
on to another seat to see the rest of
the fun. The girl looked " wild" af-
ter | sat down; but Jones, alias Har-
per, sooL convinced her that l was mis-
taken.
Why, Jones, you here ? How
did you leave your wife and babies ? ;"
Now, see here, stranger, you amt
the fust man that's called me Jones to-
day, an | reckon ] must look arfully
like him; but I amt Jones, an more'n
that, you mustn't call me Jones. I
-hain't got wife, nor babies either
but thfs 'ere gal an me is goin' to
splice, an then you can talk about my
wife, and | wouldn't wonder but what
in the course Of time, you might talk
about the babies, too but you mustn't
eallme Jones !"
This retort brought forth vociferous
laughter from the spectators, and also
brought bushes to the face Of :" the
gal that was goin' to be spliced"
All, JONES' said Gregg, "you
win regret this in the future I pity
your wife and children; and this poor
girl"
So, Mr.. Harper, your real name
is Jones, is it, an you've been foolin'
me, have you Well, we amt spliced
yet; an don't think we will be soon, :"
said the girl, and her eyes fairly fash
ed fire."
Jane, Jane" said Harper, don't
you know I'm Bill Harper? Thar
amt darn drop Of Jones blood in me,
an I'll prove it,"
At this moment, JEFF jackson, Bill
Sewers. and Jim Byers entered, and, of
course, their attention was called to
Harper by his loud talking. They
stepped up to him and said -
"Why, Jones, what is all this fuss
about 2"
This was more than Harper could
stand He leaped upon seat.
Now" said he, "my name amt
Jones, an I can lick the Teller that says
it is"
By this time we had got to II,
and our friend Fred came into the car
and made Harper keep quiet. The
girl that wouldn't be "spliced" re-
quested Fred to help her on the train
that was going back to N,
which be did, and the notorious Jones,
alias Harper, followed her. We learn
ed, afterward, that he proved himself
to be Bill Harper, instead of Bill Jones,
and he and his gal Jane "got spliced. .