Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1859-06-20
THE DISGUISED LOVER.
A Sketch from Life.


My friend Tom has a natural affection for
dirt, or rather dirt has a natural affection for
Tom. 1t is to him what gold was to Midas;
whatever he touches turns to dirt. No matter
how white the crayat-nO matter how immacu-
late the vest, the moment that il comes within
the sphere Of Toms influence, its whiteness is
gone; 1t Is immaculate no longer. Dogs, sweeps
and lampIighters never pass him without leay :
ing upon his dress unequiyOcal marks of their
presence. Once, and only once, saw him
cross the street without encountering the
wheels Of carriage. opened my mouth to
congratulate him, and before could utter one
word, 1t was filed with mud. The careless
bloekhead lay at my feet, full length in the
gutter. At my earnest solicitation, he once
purchased a suit of precisely mud color. 1t
was capital idea. lie crossed the street three
times; be walked half a mile, and returned in
appearance, at least, unscathed. The thing
was unprecedented. True, he was welcomed
by the shectionate caresses Of dog that had
been enjoying the eOolness Of n neighboriL 2
hOTse-POnd; true, he received q shower bath
from the wheels of an omnibus. But to plaster
mud on Toms new coat, was "tO gild refined
gOld-tO paint the lily" Tom VIZ be neat
man yet" said, rs / witnessed the success Of
my plan.
In about half an hour, it was my fate to meet
gentleman with seven stripes of green paint
on his baek-it was my friend Tom; he had been
leaning on some newly painted window blinds.
His shOeblack declares that "he can't see no
use in blacking his boots when they never re-
main black" and his washerw0man, with a
very proper regard for her own reputation, has
been compelled to discard him, not from any
ill-will, but, as she declared with uplifted
hands, ''if any one should ask me if washed
Mr.. Smiths clothes, what could tell them 20
But there were very few things in this world
with which Tom could have more easily dis
pensed, than the services Of his washerwoman.
Having no other amusement, one morning
strOlled over TO Toms rooms. As / ascended
the stairs, / heard his voice in a very decided
tone, But it must be done, and so there is an
end to il.
Really, was the reply, anything within
the limits of possibility, but, to make a coat in
ten hOurs-I will promise anything in the
world, but l really fear shall be unable to
ysrform."
If double your price would be any object''-
Certainly, sir, If you insist upon it; certain
ly Will put every man in my shop upon it;
II shall be done in time. Good morning sir :"
The door opened, and fellow with shears
and measures passed out. What could Tom
be doing with a tailor
just the man wanted to see, l." he exclaim-
ed. Il require your advice upon a very i'm
pOrtant affair; which Of these cravats do you
think most becoming" and he spread before
me some half dozen, Of every hue and fashion.
Now, what in the name of all that is won
derful does this mean, Tom? fancy ball. il
IT. You have chosen an excellent disguise !;
your nearest friends will never know you. But
you cannot support the character, if you had
taken that Of a chimney sweep, now; but that
would have been too natural. Tell me truly
Tom, what does all this mean?
why, the fact is, Frank" passing q hand
through his hair, redOlent Of macassar; II
have eOncluded-I think / shall be a little
more neat in future. You, doubtless, remem-
Der the good advice you gave me some time
slnPe n has had afrao II
you"
Now, it so happened, that of all the good
a1viee L had ever given Tom, this was the very
first instance in which he had seen fit to follow
IT. 30 could not attribute the metamorphC-
sis Of my friend to my elOquence Who but a
woman ever changed a sloven to a fop!
Pray, where are you going this evening, -
continued, that you must have new coat
50 suddenly" !
- Going? nowhere in particular had, in
deed some idea Of calling on my old friend,
MI; Murray; no harm in that, hope"
Conviction began TO fash upon me.
q Your old friend, Mr.. Murray, and his
young niece, Miss Julia, has no share in your
VISIT, 1 suppose heard that she arrived in
town last night
Now, upon my word, Frank, Won mistake
me entirely did not know that she was in
town last night-when THAT is. when II
did not know anything about it.'
And So you were there last night, too
Really, this is getting along brayely.S
Why, the fact is, Frank, You must know
everything. l called last evening to see Muir
ray on some business about that real estate,
you know. had no more idea of meeting a
woman than boa eOnstrictor-my beard was
three days old, my collar ditto, and the rest Of
my dress in excellent keeping. became en-
gagged in conversation, and, somehow or other,
forgot all about the real estate"
- And so you are going again tO-night-and
that Is the secret of your new cOati'
- By no means; / wanted n new coat and
tallors are always 50 long, You know. DO you
think blue will become me! blue is her fa-
Vorite-that isl mean blue
oh. 90 On-dOn't stammer-blue is her IA
VOrite color, il it,
- The fact is Frank-take another glass of
this wine-the fact is-goOd wine, isn't il ,
been Two voyages to the Indies-the fact is I
suppose rather fsncy-I am a little in love
Try some Of that sherry. What are the symp-
toms, Frank-a queer feeling about the heart,
and something that drives the blood through
one like lightning
Exactly, 1 believe have seen julia
short and chubby, isn't she-with red hair,
and little squint-eyed 20
Frank, L never did knock you down. though
have been tempted to do so n great many
times; but If you don't stop that nonsense, /
will -
Quite valiant in defence Of your lady-lov
Well, Tom, L will confess that she is a lovely
girl, and Tomorrow will cone and learn your
success. 80, good morning"
:" We'll, Tom, what SUGGEST"
would you believe it, she did not recognize
me-"
. Not recognize you,''
mo. You know what quiz that Murray is
AS soon as he saw me enter, dressed in such style
he came up, shook hands with me- and with
Out giving me chance to say one word intro.
daeed Inc to Julia as Mr.. Frederick Somebody.
And, would you believe it! the little witch did
MT know me. i think / should not forget her
~ easily Nor was that all. Murray said
sJInetbing about the fellow who called there
the previous evening" country cousin, he
sad. elelr enough, but an incOrrigibIe sloven
And Julia said he dressed like barbarian
just think of that, Frank barbarian, She
shall pay for that, yet. Such eyes-and she
steps like queen. Well, Frank, a clean col
lar does make = vast difference in a mans sp-
Pesrance. Lovely IA lebe herself Terrible
difference, clesn linen makes.
The last time 4 ssw Tom he was seoll;n, \;