, 1859-11-23

4 wee laad;e was brought bctoso one Of the
Glnssow battles, who asked, "Nbcre did you
learn so much wickedncss?' "Do you ken
the pump in Giassfori s.rect?" "No,:s said
tito i'ailie- "Weel then do you ken the pump
in the Brisgate?' Yes, sure. was the
reply. "Wee]. then, gang there aud pun,p
as laug as &c like, for I'm hanged il 80 puml,
me?'
WHAT \ Sror ONCE HEARD An ExGl1s1tAaS
SAf.-We Border -tdrer.iser) once heard an
Eas!isln'an giving lis ostles orders as follows:
- Enry take the arness hoff the or5e, slip the
alter hover his cad, hand give lin some fay
aud some hoatz.''
Foil IS FA1n--au unmarried miserable on
tho Nansbcck is suspected Of having written
the following lithy poem on the ladies':
e s-1slasi .r41: saees,as. e', ii; pl5.; ILL.,;
One day bcegar man, who Ind long been
known as the do-uo-good Of tie placc where
he lived. met another laden with two pauuicrs.
On asking what was in them, and being told
that they contained rags and bones, be e1-
claimed, "Well. tllen, toss nc in, for i'm nowt
clSe.
Two countryineu went into hatters 10 buy
lat. They were delighted with one. inside
tho crown Of which was inserted a looking
glass. whats the glass for? said one Of tie
men. Tie other, impatient At such display
Of rural Ignorance, exclaimed. "Wlat fur -
Why, for tile man who buys the hat to see how
it fits him. stupid
Why Is LUTHER REPRESENTED WITH 4 SvAS?
John uuss is represented with GOOSE aud
Luther With s1raa and the explanation given
in Lutheran churches, where the representa-
tion occurs, is that John liuss {whose name in
Bohemian signifcd goosc) used 10 say. ..fThoueh
they kill this yooSr stean shall come after me.
From Males and Queries.
WHICH ESn OF TEouBLE-Not long ago Il
bridegroom returning home from his wedding
was met by friend who this addressed him
well, Jack, Tn glad to see thee in thy happy
position, thou st seen the end Of tt,v trouble
now" "Tlank thee, lad" was Jacks an
swer, II hope I have" About mouth after
wards tue two friends again met, when Jack,
speaking rather warmly, exclaimed bill,
thou tellcd me lie that morning got wed
Didn't thou say Id seen the end Of my trpub!e::'
~ did," said Bill: "But I didn't tc1l thee
,c1ich eud.';-Ffases Magazine.
4 grecn sprie from the Emerald Isle enter.
cd boot and slloe shop to purchase pair Q.
brosans. After oyerhauling his stock ID ntrade
without being able to suit lis customer, tic
shopkeeper hiuted that he would mako him .
pair to order. I'm whatu We NJ n make a
good pair of EN- - was the query. The price
was named, the lrisl1man denurrcd. but a{lera
"b4iing down" the Thing was trade Paddy
was about leaving. wien the other called ate,
him, asking, But what s;zo slla]l MAKE
them. sir?' "ocl,," cried Paddy, promptly,
Il don't mind about the size at all-make
them as large as re conveniently can for tht
money! i -r
"E.der, will you Lavo rldrink Of cidersr sale
farmer to an ol | Temperance man who wa
spending an evening Mt his housc. "Ah!-
lum-no-.lsauk ye' said the old man. ~
never drlnk auy liquor Of any specially
cider; bu, II you call it apple juice, think II
| take Drop !. ~
IN Irish coaehman, driving past some har
vast fields during the past week, addressing
smart girl eDgaged in shearing, exclaimed
"Arrah, ny darling, I wish I IVES in Jail fc
stcalmg ye!'
An IisAn,an, on en1isting, was asked by th'
recruiting officer, When you get into battle
P4ddy,' will you fight Or run?" g Al, faith,
replied Pat. with a.com:cal twist Of his coun
tenance, :" III be after doin', yer honor, as th
minority Of 70 does"