The Council Bluffs nonpareil. [volume] (Council Bluffs [Iowa]) 1857-1867, 1859-02-05

Who took her out? E# sg
Great big Jack StoutH & 81
Some of the s'big Jack Stout" dalies,
along the "Fathcr of Waters" affecting to
believe that ssthe cats in the we'll" are
sounding the alarum ut their highest pitch,
and are vieing, each with the other, as to
which shall have the credit of releasing her
from the perilous position she has been
placed in, by the sslittle Johnny Green"
owners of "paper town sites, and wild
lands'' west of the Big Muddy. In other
words, owl-like dalies, and gravity assuming
weeklies, along the Mississippi River,
pretend to believe that the reported Gold
Mines of Cherry Creek and the South Platte,
are one grand humbug, and that "many of
the letters purporting to come from the
miners in the disgings, are manufactured out
Of whole cloth, by owners Of paper town sites
and wild lands in Kansas and ncighboring
regions"
Now, notwithstanding it may be considered
presumption, on the part Of Il weekly paper,
away out here on the confines of civiliza-
ton, to call in question the statements Of
the daily wise-acres Of the Mississippi Slope,
we cannot forbear putting in rejonder,
and saying something in behalf Of the ''little
Johnny GREEN'S" who had the audacity to
put the cat in the well, without first having
paid the ':big Jack Stout's" to preserve
"mastcrly inactivity" and thus keep the
poor, harmless crittcr in the bowels Of the
earth, until the "rcst of mankind' could
have an opportunity of seeing the show.
"Ding, dong, beIl," the reputed Gold Mines
are humbus thus cry the watehmcn of
the cxubcrant dailics-and thus echo the
sickly hebdomidals Of the interior. Reasons
for this belief, and its corrollary warning,
they are destitute of-thcy can give none
whatever. We therefore are forced to the
conclusion, that editors of daily papers in
the West are endowed with wonderful per-
ceptive powcrs-when it suits them, they
can see things just as we'll where they amt
as where they are. They can tell, without
seeing ''the woodpile," whether there's
"Nager" in it or not. They can't be fooled
with chatf!-no, not they. And, when they
write thing down ''a humbug' why its
time for everybody to "dry up'' and "sim-
mer down" on that subject. Those persons,
now in the reputed mines, will please take
notice, and stop digging, for, forsooth, the
Iowa ''big Jack Stouts' have assumed the
task of relieving the feline quadruped from
the aqueous deposit into which she was
precipitatcd by the mischicfous and unscru-
pulous ''little johnny Grccn's.' No more
gold dust must be removed from its present
resting place, by those deluded persons now
encamped along the Eastern base of the
Rocky Mountains, on the penalty of being
denounced as bankrupt spccu!ators.'
After having stated, in the manner of the
nursery rhyme above quoted, who put the
cat in the WE'LL. e., who raised the gold
excitcmcnt-thcse wise-acres, with crocko-
ollie tears, as big as piece Of chalk, coursing
down their blanchcd cheeks, proceed to
measures for rescuins the said cat (thc dear
people) from watery grave (from being
swindlcd). In dong this: they have recourse
to stratagem. In other words, they assert
that "many of the letters purport-
ing to come from the reputcd gold mines,
are manufactured out of whole CLOTH" ny
interested spectators scout West" No
reason is given for their belief in this res
poet. Of course, not, none is needed, for
these sclf-constituted sccrs can jump at
Kangaroo fashion, and have
the power Of discovering Truth without
rcsortins to the prosy recourse of reasoning.
But, in all candOr, we can assure these
guid-nuncs, that as, far as VIC have any
knowledge, the letters from the rcputed
Gold mines, are bona-fde what they pur-
port-wcrc written at the mines by men of
standing and vcracity, and in no sense Of
the word, either owners of ''papcr town
si,cs,' or spectators in "wild lands in
Kansas or the region hcreabouts.' We have
published several letters from the mines
letters that We know were not manufactured
to subserve any purpose whatever. Those
letters, We believe were truthful in general,
and in detail, and, from the general tenor
Of all letters purporting to come from the
mines, we feel confident in the belief that
they are bona: tide what they bear external
evidence of. Having said thus much, with
out any idea that the "bg Jack Stout's"
will take our statements for granted, We
will "irop the subject" and leave the
aforesaid well cleaners to ring all the
changes on the interesting text
.Dlng, dong, bell !