Raftsman's journal. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1854-1948, 1859-07-06
CLEARFIELD Pa WEDNESDAY, JULY g. 1859.
srAcKPoLE,s ADVENTURE.

sTACKPoLE's ADVENTURE.
ssYou never heard tell of my molasses can
DIV adventure. did YOU, Squire ?'' said Sam
Stackpole to me, when l called at his house
to take the census of his family. l shook my
head and he proceeded. ssI speculate II rather
a wonderful affair, and if Sally here would tell
it, you would expeciate, certain; was cour-
tim Sally at the time, and was in love up to
my eyes. But her daddy was opposed to me
out and out. And he was stupendlous man,
the crossest, ugliest old vaIment that ever
wore spectacles and l often wondered how
Sally could be such charming little creature,
with suoh a crusty old fellow for father.
She was magnum bonam gal, sure at that
time, little faded now you see. but that's to
be expected. Beauty is only skin deep, but
ugliness goes to the bone.''
ssWell one day went to town and bought
whole heap of fancy dongs, ribbons, heads,
goose grease for the hair, electra, and so forth
l was determined to coax her up, and putting
my purchases snugly in bundle L locOmoted
towards her daddy's house, true as rifle.
"It was rather late when 1 arrived, and old
Scrags was bilin' sum molasses candy for Sally
to peddle the next day-there bein' a show In
town--Sally and her nanny havin' retired.
ssThe first thing done. however, arter en-
tering, and old Scrags had stared at me few,
was to sit right down in pan of hot merlasses,
he'd put OH a cheer to cool, which made me
Jump up and howl amasin' Gingerbread,
how in burnt but as he didn't see the accident,
L squatted on Saly's band box which contain
ed her Sunday bonnett-not noticin'-and
went to rubbing like sxty-six. Well. arter
I'd sot there a spell, groaned for myself and
wondering how much damage I'd done, the
old man gave me another terrific lcUk and
said
ssSam Stackpolc, what have you come here
arter-say?
ssMr. Scraggs,'' ses I, not darin' to stir fer
fear he'd discover my perdickerment. 'I've
come here on very important business ooh,
Lordy, how that merlasses smarted y and if
you'll keep your ebenezcr down about five
minutes, I'll endeavor to inform you with that
degree of accurancy that I'm SO Prominently
and conspiciously developed
'sThe old fellow didn't understand that ar
powerful language, and in course he did't say
nothin', SO kept as easy as l possibly
| could and went on.''
oPerhaps ses l, you've noticed that have
| been pain numerous attcnshuns to your daugh-
ter and I am gratiied to stait with intimate
popularity. Now if you'll give Sally to me,
| I'll vote for you for Governor, and leave the
| county if you amt elected.
"WelI, after I'd delivered myself in that
ar benevolent style, what do you think the
old codger's reply was Why instead OF
saying to me to take Sally, and welcome. he
pinted to the door, and told me TO scatter 20
sI VOW got out of patience then, sure,
and didn't care then what occured-if Sally S
| bonnet was smashed.
ssMr. Scraggs, ses l, 1 should be very hap
| py to oblidge you, but the fact is, sot down
here and can't leave nohow, unless you cut a
| hole in my trowsers.
| "When the old man seed how was stuck
| fast as / set, he just catched up the pot of hot
candy off the fire and emptied it all over my
head and shoulders, true as Pm alive Jehu.
| how the stuff made me cavort and holler
| But was mad that l grabbed great goh
| and let him have it biff-rite tween the eyes.
s.There, take that, seq |, you old fap-eared
piece of deformity /! and then started for the
door-derect jest got it open, ready to dart,
when old Mrs. S. burst into loud laugh, and
| Sally spoke for the fuSt time.''
.'Sam Stackpole, sez she, hold. My band
box and your pantaloons are annered.'
ssJerusalem sez |, and leaped. l must
been skeered, for landed at least twenty
| feet outside the house and ran like prairie
fire. never looked behind me till next morn
| in,' and when | did, the kicer Of The bandboz
,cas sticking fast 10 my trousers"
| ssThat was my merlasses candy adventure
| Squire, right hot work it was. But L married
| Sally at last. The old man give in after a
while, and now you can recken up the family
| in your sinSus as you please.''