Delaware gazette. [volume] (Delaware, Ohio) 1855-1886, 1859-02-04
4 Tenn..seean.. view OF wash,nssea.

Tennesseean's View OF WashingteR.
a correspondent writing to the Nashville
Patriot, thus wades into the Irete nsions of
our national capital:
Washington City, the capital of the nation
the home, during the term time, of the
President, (also the residence of FIVE hun
dred and ten men who confdentially expect
to be President, and the seat OF the United
States Gas Works, technieally called Con-
gress,) is situated in the District of Colum-
bia, territory covering the horizontal surface
Of ten miles square and perpendicular all
the way through. As every place 10 from
i three-qeartess- Ut mile to a mile and three
quarters from everywhere else, Washington
is called in Fourth OF July orations and that
style OF literature generally, "the city of
, magnificent distances II derives its name
OF Washington from celebrated continent
al officer who built the pine hUts, and forged
his way through very hard winter at Val,
ley Forge, and made CORVALLIS acknowl.
edge the corn at Yorktown. The principal
public buildings OF the city are the Patent
Office, where the Yankees are granted the
exclusive right to make and sell India-rub-
her baby jumpers, double-geared rat traps,
Radwsy's Ready Relief, which is warranted
| to relieve you OF your money, if nothing
! else, and other valuable inventions OF the
age; the General Post Office, where they
superint the different null routes OF the
country; the National Treasury, an institu-
ton OF learning, which has graduated more
men in the art of swindling the government
than any ten similar or dissimiiar institutions
in the world; and the City Jail, which ID the
! only public building in Washington which is
| really devoted to honest purposes, and that
is devoted to no purpose at all, both the per-
manent and temporary residents being too
deeply engaged in their own rascalties to
think of furnishing other people for theirs.
There are two monuments in Washington,
one of red granite erected to the memory of
Mr.. Smithson, at his own expense; and a
monument to the folly. penuriousness and
ingratitude of the American people. The
latter is about sixty feet high, with upward
| (though hopeless) expectations of five or
six hundred feet. 1t is commonly called the
Washington or National Monument. Gen.
Taylor caught his death in 1850 at the lay
ing of the corner stone of this structure
1t is hardly probable that any of his success
sors will perish at the laying OF the cap-
stone. 1t is much more probable that Pres
ideDss will be done with at least six weeks
before that event arrives.
The imports of Washington consist prin-
cipally in Office seekers and pick pockets
(both of which are frequently combined in
one,) and fast women who indirectly make
the laws that are put through Congress. It's
exports are disappointed politicians and whis-
ky. The latter is generally bottled, or rath-
1 er unbottled, in members OF Congress fol
transportation.
Taking it altogether. Washington is IN ex-
ceedipely hard place The public men there
are always very honest and upright; how
ever, that is until they go home and turn
against the Administration, when, of course.
they become like Stephen A Douglas and
John w. Furney, the most consumate scoun
drels unhung. We have the authority of q
number of Administration papers for saying
SO.
During the sitting of Congress, though
innum cradle murders and robberies are CON-
mtted in the city; but as everybody is above
suspicion, and wouldn't hurt a hair OF you
head, nor take the smallest coin from the
treasury, the perpetrators invariably escape
detection. Under these benign auspicies, l
is no wonder that il cannot, or has not, been
said of Washington ns was recently said o
one-horse town in Kentucky, that if, a
the last dav, Gabriel should happen to ligh
there first, the resurrection would be in
definitely postponed. for some of the inhab
itants would swindle him out of his hori
before he could make single toot.