davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1859-04-07

PREACHING TEMPERANCE IN THE PUL-
pIT.-Once wrote that distinguished divine,
DR.. Edwards, in reference to the duty of
ministers to preach temperance on Sunday.
Would that his advice we're more extensive
ly practiced upon
"Shall we be told that temperance IS only
a secular concern, that it affects only the bod
les of men and not their souls, and is con-
Germ which relates to time only and not to
eternity, and it ought not to be discussed
from the pulpit on the Sabbath? If Satan
can cause this to be believed, and those who
manufacture, sell and use the weapons of his
warfare, and multiply the trophies of his
victory, not hear of their sin on the Sabbath,
when God speaks to the conscience, or to be
entreated from the pulpit, his mercy seat,
by tears and blood of Saviour, to flee from
coming damnation, the adversary will keep
possession of his stronghold. If we may not,
in this warfare, fight on the Lords day,
when he himself goes forth to the battle and
command on the field; if we may not use
his weapons, forged in heaven, and from the
high places of his creation, pour them down
thick, heavy and hot upon the enemy, We
may fight until we die, and he will esteem
our iron as straw. and our bow as rotten
wood; our darts he will count as stubble,
and laugh at the glittering of our spear"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1859-04-07
CAN'T A MAN THINK WHAT H E
PLEASES?

In the spring of 1857, (our authority is
explicit an exciting municipal election was
held in Princeton, Indiana. The all-absor-
bing compound-question to be answered by
the electors was "Whiskcy?-or no Whis-
key?" Owing to the fact that sundry grog-
shops had been mobbcd, and their contents
destroyed by the fair Amazons of the village,
during the preceding fall and winter, vast
quantity of bad blood had been engendered
and the election was bitterly contested
Conspicuous among the champions Of "Free
Lager" was Dutchman by the name Of
Dasche. Dasche, emit his vrow," had mis-
"local habitation" beyond the corporate lin
its Of the village aforesaid, and, by conse-
qucnce, had no right to vote in Princeton.
But Daschc had not the remotcst idea of
limiting his exertion to the field Of "moral
suasion," and he therefore voted a plumper
for "Free Whiskcy," in all its phases
Dasche was tried for the offence in the Court
of Common Pleas of Gibson county, Judge
P presiding, and was found guilty.
Dasche was enraged, and gave vent to his
feelings in language wherein it was hard to
say whether bad English or broken Dutch
predominated The Court ordered him be
silent; the only reply was volley of frag-
mentary polyglot anathemas. His Honor
again rebuked him, and threatened impris-
onment, unless he held his peace. Dasche
rose, and asked, meekly:
"Judge, can't a man dink vat he bleas-
es? ?"
"Certainly," replied the Court, you may
think whatever you like.
"Den," replied Dasche, smile of triumph
flashing across his Teutonic features, as he
glanced at Judge and jury, "I di"ks you ist
all a set of inrerna1 scounarels "
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1859-04-07
nTime," was suddenly "called on him, "
but his speech was finished.

PADDY's PFC AS a shadow to all these
sunny southern lights, [ must here mention
that I did meet with few extraordinarily
mean men in Sidney. There was one,
merchant prince, who made it boast that
he had never given away a shilling in his
life. So far as I know, he only departed
from his extreme sel6shness on one occasion,
and the circumstances are worth relating -
One morning a poor Irishman stepped into
his couuting-housc, and looking the very
picture of misery, said: 'Oh! may it please
yer honor, I've lost a pig-the only pig L
had-aud misthress -, the governess, has
given me pound, and sent me to you for
another She says you have enough gold to
build sty wild, and will be sure to give me
little At first old hard-fst refused upon
which Paddy threw himself on stool, and
raised such piteous wall that the merchant
thinking he was mad about the death OF his
pig, gave him the pound to get rid of him.
Next day the proprietor of the defunct por-
ker was passing the warehouse, and seeing
his benefactor at the door, pulled his hat to
him. well, did you get drunk with that
pound, or buy another pig?' asked the rich
man grufHy. Bought a pig, yer honor.a
darling little thing wild sweet twist in his
tail, like lady's curl We'lP it's to be
hoped you'll take better care of him than
YOU did of the other What did he die otE
die of? Did you say die of now? Why
get out wild ye, he was so fat 1 killed him
Life IN Australia-By Frank Foacter.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1859-04-07
RRR K@R&V&&&& &MQUER a. g.

party, glasses of wine were handed around.
They came to clergyman present, who took
a. glass, saying few words in vindication Of
the practice. "Well," thought the young
man, "if clergyman can take wine and JUS
tify it so well, why not l ?" So he took
a glass 1t instantly rekindled his fiery and
slumbering appetite, and after rapid down
ward course, he died of delirium a raving
madman p' The old man paused for utter
an,e, and was just able to add --"That
young man was my only son, and the cler-
gyman was the. Revered Doctor who has
just addressed the assembly.-An'ertcan
Presbyterian.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1859-04-07
A TIGHT PLACE.

While passing through Wilson's Lane, a
few days since, we saw large black turtle
drawing its slow length along on the side
walk, and quite crowd had gathered to look
at the animal. Soon a dunky little negro
man, who had just then come along with
very small dog, looked at the turtle with
apparent astonishment for moment, and
asked:
sVNhew gorry! What you call dat ar fel-
lerP
That is turtle answered a bystander.
sGorry what dey do wild um?
MAKE soup of him
Soup? yah, yah, ha What lookin'
feller dat is to make soup OBJ! Heah, Sac
sab, bit i'm said the dunky negro to his
dog, as he stirred up the turtle with his cane.
The dog, seeming to know little more
about the snatur of the baste' than his mas
ter, hung back little, but finally he craw-
led up to get smell of the strange customer,
when the turtle made dive at his foot, and
seizing it in his mouth, nipped it so unmer-
cifully that the puppy got up some of the
tallest kind of yelling, and the negro made
no less noise than the dog.
sKy-yi-yi-hi-ow-ow-ow ! yelled the dog,
while his master pufed like locomotive,
exclaiming-
~ sGor-a-mighty! You brack toad, why you
no let go dat ar dogs foot?
After thrashing him nightly over the
she'll with sugar cane stick, until he had
broken the weapon to splinters, he seized
the turtle by the head, and attempted to
force him to relsase his hold Of the dog -
Unfortunately, Cuffee got his thumb into
the trap with the dogs foot, and then there
was music! Finally, the ozark peeled off
the negro's thumb, and he extended his area
of freedom to such distance that there was
no immediate danger of his being harmed
by the turtle, which, with Adhesiveness II,
still ,cung to the dog and it was with con-
siderable difficulty that his jaws could be
open sufficiently wide 'to render unto Caesar
the things that are Caesars The puppy
was no sooner at liberty, than Cuffee sung
out:
Hear, Caesar, come way from dar! and ef
dat tarna crtter get your foot in his mout
agiu, he may bite him till him toof ache
dat's all Use got to say about i'm by CORY! =
The dunky little negro 's!ored,' and the
dog hobbled after him on three legs, leaving
a crowd of spectators, whose sides were sha-
king with laughter.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1859-04-07
PARENTS. CHILDREN, &C.

Should any be desirous of seeing their off,
spring standing high in the world, tl.cy will
please take the following advice, and they
will hardly fail to realize their desires :
1st, Learn them to lie as soon as you can,
which you may do simply by telling them
lies yourselves Example: Tell them you
will correct them if they do certain things,
and fail to do so.
End, Ifever they are at all sick, give them
plenty ofHquor, which will give them rel
ish, for it, that cannot easily be eradicated'
Example: Drink it yourselves till your
tongues rattle like bell clappers
Sd. Learn them to say all manner of evil
against their neighbors Example: Never
say anything good about any person; but
put the darkest coloring on it possible.
4th, Encourage them to steal. Example
Take any mean sneaking trick on your neigh
Dor you please, and if your children steal
anything, laugh heartily at it, and let them
keep it.
9Th, Direct them to keep the company Of
the worst people in the settlement. Exam,
Pile: Never visit any but the worst your
selves, and your children will do likewise.
9th, BE sure to prevent them from becom-
ing steady, or thoughtful. Example: Read
the beautiful and soul stirring poems of the
"Niyga Song booh;" but never read the
bible better sell it and buy them dram
with the proceeds.
7th, Prevent if possible, their being at
tentive and solemn in church. Example :
Sit up as stiff as post during prayer gaze
about over the house in the midst Of the ser.
mon, and occasionally make sport of the
preacher, of the members, or of some clever
person and forget not to stroll out OF, and
into the house two or three times, to show
your fue hat or bonnet, or to hear your new
shoes creak-aud if for no other reason, 60
out just to show that you are free men and
women
Sth, As far as in you lies, allow them to
say every hard thing against their playmates,
raise lies and circulate them. Example /:
Raise worse lies on their parents than they
can on their children, and give them wide
circulation.
9th, Teach them to undervalue smart peo-
pie. Example: If you know any thing a.
gainst any of the kindred of any person, es-
peciazly poor persons, no matter how upright,
and pious, and inofensive he or she may be,
you must not fail to tell all the bad traits of
character that attend them, and tell them to
men of understanding who can appreciate
such knowledge.
10th, Teach them to break matches. Ex-
ample: IF you can cause an interruption be-
tween any two lovers, fail not to 80, either
by telling lies or otherwise.
l1th, Show them how to put on false ap-
pearances Example: If your children have
an idea of partner, make out like they are
lambs till they marry, and then their part
ners will find out soon enough for their good
that they are tigers.
18th, Make them review the above les
sons. Example Lie, drink, tattle, steal,
break the Sabbath, curse, gamble and do as
bad as you can.
Now if you wish to see your children
hung or come to some bad end, follow the
above commands and you will realize your
most sauguiue desire but if you do 'sot'
why -- don't.
KITTY KAY.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1859-04-07

THRILLING INCIDENTAL a temperance
meeting in Philadelphia, some years ago, a
learned clergyman spoke iu favor of wine as
a drink, demonstrating it quite to his own
satisfaction to be Scriptural, gentlemanly
and healthful. When the clergyman sat
down, a plain, elderly man arose, and asked
the liberty of saying few words. Permis-
sion being granted, he spoke as follows:
ga young friend of mine" said he, "who
had been intemperate, was prevailed on, to
the Joy of his friends, to take the pledge of
entire abstinence from all that could intoxi-
cate. He kept his pledge faithfully for
some time, though the struggle with his
habit was fearful, till one evening in social
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1859-04-07

nS 1t was during the second term OF
Gen. jackson that he stopped at public
house, while on his way from Nashville to
Florence, Alabama, and thereby hangs a
tale He was the guest of Mr.. Samuel
Wormley, as fine a specimen of old Virgin
ia as you find between the rising and the
setting SUM- A large company was present.
and many were being introduced. The host
presented two of his sons in-law in the fol-
lowing manner:
General, allow me to introduce my SON.
in.law, Samuel P. Walker, whois nephew
of James K. Polk. General, allow me to
introduce another son-in-law, Adley 0. Har:
ris, once brother in law of James K. Polk
In the corner of the room sat wag, who
had either eaten too much or drank too
much, rising from his seat, he said: .
General, allow me to introduce myself,
Michael R. Moore-I married Kate, the
daughter of old John Miller-give me your
corn stealer'
Well, there was laugh, long and loud,
in which the General heartily Joined, while
extending his 'corn stealer.'
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1859-04-07
Amusmg Beaomg.
AN EDITORS TRIALS.

How often we think, while reading the news,
An editor could always please if he choose
But such o paper as this, why all must agree.
That a thing of less interest they never did see.
Buts Sir, Critic, reflect ere you make noise on
That one mans meat is another mans poison;
And, lest you persist in your steady denials,
Well give you few Of an editors trials.
First, pretty young lady, sprightly and fair,
With paper in hand skips up to chair,
And hastily glancing DER all that she saw,
The thrusts aside with a muttered ''pshaw!"
No marriages here,
think it quite queer
When there's ever so many,
They don't publish any.
Here's poetry, And Battles,
Sketches, And Sledges,
And tales And lawsuits,
Without ending A pending:
But no pic MICS, or concerts, or parties for me,
Such trash upon paper I never did see.
Next, grave politician, who with dignity grows
Adjusts his gold spectacles over his nose,
Takes huge pinch Of snuff before he proceeds,
Then opens the paper and leisurely reads
or breeches, OF Senate,
And speeches, OF House,
And foreign Of railways,
Reports, AND courts;
And says, he reads the last column of war,
What strange kind of people these editors are,
These horrible rhymes and love stories to print!
If'twould do any good, would give hint
Now, prim old maid the paper espies,
And, holding it carefully off from her eyes;
And frequently muttering ''La" and ''Du tell p
She manages some way to read very we'll.
The marriages, The robberes,
Accidents, Murders,
Suicides. All in
Deaths, A breath,
And fnishes-wonders what sort of q blunder
The whole community must be under,
To support paper whose print is so small
She wonders how some people reads it at all.
Next, an angry contributor, eager for fame,
Rusbes into the sanctum to loudly complain
sIm ruined, sir ruined-my success, sir, is Ger,
So many mistakes were never heard of before;
Look here, at this Sonnet Addressed to my Lady,
You've made it a Bonnet and Dress for Baby;
r-.. Don't talk of my writing,
- And say it was that;
You're an editor sir,
But no gent-that is fat"
The farmer complains that his crop is neglected,
While so much time is spent guessing who'll be
elected;
The minister says it should be more sedate,
And not so much wasted in matters of State,
And thousands of other
Complaints are made known,
. Which the editors back
Has to bear all alone;
But the worst of it is, they all join in saying
Such paper as this he can print without paying.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1859-04-07
HOWARD ASSOCIATION.
4 Bc@tro'ehi i"siHgton established Jy speciui En-
document for the RciilGcCt Tie Sick and Dis
trcsSed, afflicted icuA Tuulent
PHILADELPHIA.
ana Epidcmic DiscQscs.


document for the RclitCcCLhe Sick and Dis
rcSSed, afflicted icuh Tirulent
and Epidemic DisrQscS.
7sNHE HOWARD ASSOCIATION. in view of the
i awful destruction Of human life. Caused bv
Sexual disease, and the deceptions practiccd upon
the uufurtuatc victims Of such diseases by Ouacks.
several years ago directed their Consulting Sur
seon, as CHARITABLE ACT worthy Of their
name to open Dispensary for the treatment of
this class of disease, in all their forms, and to
give MEDICAL ADVICE GRATIS to all who apply
by letter, with description of their condition,
(age, occupation, habits of life, &C., and in cases
of extreme poverty, to FURNISH MEDICINES
FREE OF CHARGE. 1t is needless to add that
the Association commands the highest Medical
skill of the age, and will furnish the most modern
treatment
The Directors Of the Association, in their Annu-
nj Report upon the treatment of Sexual Diseases
for the year ending January lst 1858, express the
highest Satisfaction with the success which has
attended the labors of the Consulting Surgeon in
the cure of Spcrmatorrhea, Seminal Weakness,
Impotence, Gonorrhe, Gleet, Syphilis, the vice of
Onanism or Sef.abuse, &C., and order continu-
ancc of the same plan for the ensuing year
The Directors, on a review of the past, feel as
surred that their labors in this sphere of bcnevo
lent effort have been Of great benefit to the aiict-
ed, especially to the young and they have resolv-
ed to dcT0tc themselves, with renewed zeal, to
this very important and much despiscd cause
An admirable Report on Spermatorrhen, or
Seminal Weakness, the vice of 0nanism, Mustur-
baton. or Sclf-abust ard other diseases of the
sexun! organs, by the Consulting Surgeon, will be
sent by mail lin sealed ehveiope) FREE OF
CABRGE, on receipt of TWO STAMPS for post
age. Other Reports and Tracts on the nature
and treatment of sexual diseases, diet &c., nre
constantly being published for gratuitous distribu-
ton, and will hc sent to the afflicted. Some ~
the new remedies and methods of treatment dis.
covered during the last year, are Of great value.
Address. for Report or treatment, DR.. GEORGE
r: CALHOUN. Consulting Surgeon, Howard As
socation, No. South Ninth Street, PHILADELPHIA,
Pa. By order Of the Directors
EZRA D. EEARTWELL, President
GEORGE FAIRCHILD, seort,ary
June 20 20 ly
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1859-04-07

ELEcr1oNEER1NG.-The New Orleans
Picayune, in some observations on the SCI
ence of electioueering, says that an acknow-
lodged necessity in this science is to Guilt
vate the good wishes of the ladies, in order
to enlist their lords. But the Hon. .. 4.
Singleton, of Miss, is entitled to premium
for carrying the present mode one step In
advance of all his competitors. A few days
since he addressed package of garden seeds
to the wife of one of the bachelor editors OF
Vicksburg, to which the 'old solitary
turns the following humorous reply:
We have no doubt, should we ever be so
fortunate as to have 'Mrs-,' that. she
will be duly grateful to Mr.. Singleton. We
have always heard that Singleton was some
in canvass, but his playing the attentive
to our wife, before we have been able to get
within gun shot of that necessary ornament,
is about the talest' specimen of electloneer-
ing We ever heard Of! 1t beets the 'Hush
times to death.
P. S.-The seed awaits the order of the
owner.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1859-04-07
The State of So. Carolina

YORK DISTRICT.
r. S. Hope for another, Us. Calvin Gordon.-De-
claration in Attachment.
J. S. Moore and Sons, Us Calvin Gordon.-Dec-
laration in Attachment.
VXTHEREAS the Plaintiffs did on the second
w day of October instant, file their Declara-
tions against the Defendant, who as it is said) is
absent from and without the limits Of this State,
anPh has neither wife nor Attorney known within
the same, upon whom copy of said Declaration
might be served: 1t is therefore ordered that the
said defendant do appear and plead to the said
Declarations on or before the 28th day of October,
which will be in the year Of our Lord one thous-
and eight hundred and fifty mine, otherwise final
and absolute judgment will then be given and
awarded against him.
s. E. MOORE, G. C. C. pLs.
Clerks Office, York District, Oct. 27, 1858.
Noy4 A IF
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1859-04-07
owner.

SUT LovENGooD AND THE LOCOMOTIVE
WH1srLE.-The first locomotive 'Sut' ever
saw, was standing with steam up and hearty
ready to 90, making no noise save suppress
sed humming from the safety valve. Sut
had in his 'skeery,' cautious way, clambered
to the top of the tender to find out what sort
of baste' it was, when the engineer slyly
gave the whistle lever long pull-shay-y-y
sut lit twenty feet distant on pile of cord
wood, and after running until he got straigh-
tened up, he turned round all eyes and said :
What in the HI did you do to hit Mis-
ter?' Just at this moment a pegro come
trun1ling along a track, with a cooking
stove, a joint of pipe on the fue hole, and
pots and paint hanging all round. Sut took
a look first at the stove and then at the To-
comotive; light broke out over his perplex-
ity, and he shouted to the engineer, 'Oh yes,
I Understands hit all now; the tarnal old
beast was list nickerin' for her colt ?
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1859-04-07
PROSPECTUS,
The DAILY CAROLINA BULLETIN,

YENHE Subscribers have commenced to publish,
L. this day, in the City of Columbia under the
style and title of BR1TToN & BRITTor Daily
and Tri Weekly Newspaper, on a full Super Royal
sheet, upon the following FERNS:
naiiy paper per um,..,n..,,:i.".r:$4 66
Tri-Weekly =" ",,,,..,,,.,,..,,,, 90
g@- Single copies 2 cents, or 10 cents per
week. ~GSa
THE CHEAPEST PAPER IN THIS STATE.
The BULLETIN" is somewhat smaller than its
Columbia cotemp poraries, but as it is printed upon
smaller class Of type, it will contain as much,
if not more readable matter than is usually pub
shed In this pty, for onethird le;s price for the
daily, and exactly half the price of other tr weex-
ly publications. in Columbia
1t will be our object to make the "BuLLErIN"
IN interesting and reliable news Journal; Every
effort will be made toprocure for publication the
latest news from all sections of the globe by Tele-
graph or otherwise, and special care will be taken
to mail the paper carefully and promptly to those
who may favor us with their orders.
Mr.. E, 81. BRlTTON, long connected with the
Press of this State, has been engaged to supern.
tend the publication and management of the af-
fairs of the "BuLLETIN," and we can safely prom
Use that no effort will be withheld on his part, il
needed, to make the paper worthy Of general pat
ronage.
Persons who may consent to act as Agents for
the sale Of the "RuRetin," will be supplied daily
upon the following terms, for cash,
20 copies daily".S0O 25 50copies daily 800 so
40 I" 65 100 I" l40
1t will be seen by the above prices, that we
have determined to publish cheap Daily paper,
and thus afford an opportunity for all to obtain
daily information Of every important occurrence
which may reach US up to the hour of closing at
night,
La to politics, We regdrdsit sufficient to state
that the ancient land marks will ever be kept la
view, and that the tone and character of the paper
will be thorough State Rights.-that the lessons
taught by Calhoun and his uIustrious cetampora.
ries, and endorsed by the State Rights Party Of
their day, will ever find liberal and unwavering
support in the columns Of the BULLETIN"
C. K. BRITTON,
!. E. BRIT1ON.
Jan'y H. 1859 tf
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1859-04-07

Bg Small newsboy to horrifed dandy.
Won't you scratch my 'ead, mister? NV
'ands is so cold / can't
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1859-04-07
READY-MADE WORK.
SOLD OUT.

UAVING sold our Stock Of DRUGS ard MED
I'll ICINE,S. to Messrs. Y. A. CAUS SSE & CO.,
we would particularly recommend them to our
friends and former patrons and to the public gen.
crallv and we feel warranted in assuring you
that the business will be conducted by them in o
manner we'll deserving your confidence and pat
ronage.
MIR. H. ". MERRILL of the firm, has devoted
the last nine years to close practical attention
to the Drug Business in all its branches and he
will consequently be enabled to compound all
Medicines and Prescriptions in the most skillful
and competent manner; and as Medicines should
only be prepared.
Thanking you for your liberal patronage to us,
we hope you will extend the same to our success
sors at the OLD STAND, in the Lindsey Block.
II. G.. JACKSON & co.
IAN 18 II.