M'arthur Democrat. (McArthur, Vinton County, Ohio) 1853-1865, 1859-04-21
W. CrueIly 70 my ReIalIves.

with tears in my eyes, that u was
such) which perpetrated towards my
wife and my ancient relative.
my dear" said Ito my wife, on
the day before my aunt's arrival, "yon
know aunt Mary is coming to.mor-
row; well forgot to mention rather
annoying circumstance with regard to
lller. She's very deaf; and, although
Sue can hear my voice, to which she
is accustomed, in its ordinary tones,
vet you will be obliged to speak ex.
tremely loud in order to be heard. 1t
will be rather inconvenient, but |
know you will do everything in your
power to make her stay agreeable.
Mrs. S. announced her intention to
make herself heard, if possible.
went to John Thomas, who loves
a joke about as well as any person !
know of, told him to be at my honse
at 8 p. M, on the following evening,
and felt comparatively happy.
| went to the railroad station with
a carriage, the nextevening, and when
l was on my way home with my aunt
| said, "My dear aunt, there is one
rather annoying infrmity that Anne
lia has, which | forgot to mention be-
tore. She's very deaf; and, although
she can hear my voice, to which she
is accustomed, in its ordinary tones,
yet you will be obliged TO speak eX-
tremely loud in order to be heard. =
I'm sorry for it,"
Aunt Mary in her goodness Ofheart,
protested that she rather liked speak
ing loud, and to do SO would afford
ner great pleasure.
The carriage drove UPON the steps
was my WHEAT the window was
John Thomas, with face as utterly
solemn as if he had buried all his rel
atives that afternoon.
handed out my aunt-she ascend
cd the steps.
81 am delighted to see you, Shrek
ed my wife; and the policeman on the
opposite side of the street started, and
my wife nearly fell down the steps.
kiss me. my dear" howled my
aunt; and the hall lamp clattered, and
the windows shook as with the fever
and ague. looked at the window
John had disappeared. Human ma.
ture could stand it no longer. lpoked
my head into the carriage and went
into strong convulsiOns.
When | entered the parlor, my wife
was helping Aunt Mary to take of
her bonnet and cape; aud there sat
John, with his face OF woe.
Suddenly, "Did you have a pleas.
ant journey 2" went off my wife, like
pistol, and John Thomas almost
jumped to his feet.
Rather dusty" was the response
in a war whoop; and SO the conversa'
ton continued.
The neighbors for streets AROUND
must have heard it; when was in the
third story Of the building, | heard
every word, plainly.
In tue course oil the evening, my
aunt took occasion to say to me-
'"Row loud your wife speaks! Don't
it hurt her 2"
| told her all deaf persons talked
loudly, and that my wife, being used
to it, was not affected by the exertion,
and that Aunt Mary was getting along
nicely with her.
Presently my wife said, softly
"AIf, how very loud your aunt talks !"
"Yes." said |, "all deaf persons do.
You're getting along with her finely;
she hears every word you say" And
| rather think she did.
Elated by their success at being
understood, they went at it, hammer
ard tongs, till everything on the man
tlepiece clattered again, and | was Sc
riously afraid Of a crowd collecting in
front of the honse.
But the end was near. My aunt
being OF an investigating turn Of mind,
was DESTROYS OF finding out whether
the exortion of talking SO loud was
not injurious to my wife. So she
said, in an unearthly hoot--for hel
voice was not musical as it was when
she was young, doesn't talking sc
loud strain your lungs z"
SIT is an exertion," shrieked my
! wife. az.
"Then why do you do itp was tht
answering scream.
"Because--because--you can't hea
if | DON'T" squealed my wife.
"What " said my aunt, fairly rival
ing a railroad whistle this time. '
! began to think it time to evacuat'
the premises; and looking round, an,
seeing John gone, 1 stepped into til,
back parlor, and there he lay, fiat on hi
back, with his feet at a right angle II
body, rolling from side to side, will
his fists stuck into his ribs, and a mos
agonized expression of conntenance
but not utte-ing a'sound. | immedi
ately and involnntarily assumed sim
liar attitude; and | think that, from
the relative position of our boots an(