The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1859-08-10

Don't you see how small Conscientious,
ness is? That's the reason B. stole.
And then comes c., ten times as much
thief as either A. or B. used to steal
before he was weaned, and would pick
one of his own pockets and put its con-
tents in another, if he could find no other
way of committing petty larceny. Uu-
fortunately, G. has holloU, instead of 2
bump, over Acquisitiveness. All, but jus:
look and see what bump of Alimentive-
ness! Did not G. buy nuts and ginger
bread, when boy, with the money he
stole? Of course you see why he is a
thief, and how his example confirms our
noble science.
At last comes along case which is ap-
parently q settler, for there is a little brain
with vast and varied powers,-a case
like that of Byron, for instance. Then
comes out the grand reserye-reason which
covers everything and renders it simply
impossible ever to corner a Phrenologlst.
at is not the size alone, but the quality
of an organ, which determines its degree
of power"
Oh. oh! l see.-Ths argument may
be briefly stated thus by the Phrenolo-
gist: "Heads l win, tails YOU lose" >
Well, that's convenient.
1t must be confessed that Phrenology
has certain resemblance to the Pseudo
sciences. l did not say it was Pseudo
science.
| have often met persons who have
been alt 3gether struck up and amazed at
tho accuracy with which some wandering
Professor of Entomology had read their
characters written upon their skulls. Of
course the Professor acquires his informa-
ton solely through his cranial inspections
and manipulations.-What are you laugh
ing at? Ito the boarders) But let us
just suppose, for q moment, that toll
erably cunning fellow, who did not know
OF care anything about Phrenology should
open shop and undertake to read off
peoples characters at fifty cents or a dol
lar apiece. Let lis see how well he could
get along without the Organs
will suppose myself to set up such
shop. l would invest one hundred dol
lars, more or less, in casts of brains, skulls,
charts, and other matters that would make
the most show for the money. That would
do to begin with. Iwould then advertise
myself as the celebrated Professor Brain
ey, or whatever name might choose, and
wait for my first customer. My first Gus
toner is n middle aged man. look at
him,-aSk him question or two, SO as
to hear him talk. When | have got the
hang of him, ask him to sit down, and
proceed to tumble his skull, debating as
follows:
LIST OF FACULTIES FOR ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
NOTES FOR MY PUPIL.
Amdtiu6ncss Most men love the conGic-
ting sex, and all men love to be told they do.
Alimentiuenecs, 8.-Dont you see that he has
burst off his lowest waistcoat-button with feed
ing,-hey?
Acouisitsveness, S.-Of course middle
aged Yankee.
HAT well brushed. Hair
ditto
Self-estccDa, s.-His face shows that.
Beaeuolence, 9.-Thatll please him.
Conscie,stiousness, 615-That fraction looks
first-rate.
Nirt1ttlncss, 7.-Has laughed twice since
he came in.
h1eality. 9.-That sounds well.
Form, Size, Weight. Color, Locality, Evcntu-
olity, etc.. etc., A to 6.-Average everything that
can't be guessed. And so of the other facul-
ties.
Ofcourse, you know, that isn't the way
the Psychologists do. They 60 only by
the bumps.-What do you keep laughing
so for? tic the boarders.) I only said
that is the way I should practice "Phre-
noIogy" for living.