The star of the north. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, 1859-10-12

good man, as he saw them enter. Smith
looking like the last of June shad, Smiths
wife wiping her eyes with the corner of her
apron-"Goodness bless me, what's the
matter"
"The matter is, Il want you to marry us
two right off," replied Smith.
MARY you % calculated the clergyman
with expanded fingers and awful eyes
''are you drunk, or what is the matter with
you"
However, he fiually married them over
straightway and would not take fee the
fact is, grave as he was, he was dying to be
alone that he might give vent 10 suppress.
sed laugh that was shaking him all over =;
and Smith and Smiths wife went joyfully
home and kissed every one of their chill.
dren. The little Smiths never knew that
their father and mother had ever been
made strangers TO each other by legislative
enactment,
Meanwhile, and on the same night, Jones
returned 10 his native town-Burlington, |
believe-and sought at once the fine black
eyes which he had hoped shortly 20 call his
own. The pretty widow sat on the sofa, a
white kerchief tied carelessly around her
whith throat, her black hair laid in silky
waves against each rosy cheek.
"Divorce is the word," cried Jones, play
fully pa,ting her double chin; "the fact is,
Eliza, | am rid of that Cursed woman, and
you and I'll be married tonight. knew
how TO manage those scoundrels at Trenton
A champagne superior was it break
fast did the business for them. "Put on
your bonnet and let US go 10 the preachers
at once, dearest"
The widow, who was among widows as
peaches among apples, put on her bonnet
and took Jones' arm, and
"Just look how handsome it is put on
parchment W cried Jones, pulling out the
document before her; "here's the law that
says that Jacob Jones and Ann Caroline
Jones are two."
Putting her plump gloved hand on his
shoulder, she did look
so dear !" she said, with her rosy lips,
and sank back, hali-fanting on the sofa.
30 blazes % cried Jones, and sank beside
her rnstliug the fatal parchment in his hand;
'here's lot Of happiness and champagne
gone TO ruin"
1t was hard case. Instead of being di-
vorced and at liberty to marry The widow.
Jacob Jones was simply incorporated into a
turnpike company, and what made it worse,
authorized 10 run from Burlington to Bris-
tol
When you reflect that Burlington and
Bristol are located just little apart, on op-
posite sides of the Delaware river, you will
observe the extreme hopelessness Of Jones'
case.
"ll's all the fault of that turnpike man
who gave them champagne superior was
it the breakfast 2" cried Jones in agony. "If
they had chartered me turnpike from Pis's
Run 10 Terrapin Hollow, | might have
borne it; but the very idea of building a
turnpike from Burlington 10 Bristol bears an
absurdity on the face Of it.
So it did.
Sand amt you divorced ?" said Eliza, a
tear running down each cheek.
"No!' thundered Jones, crushing his hat
between his knees, and what's worse the
Legislature is adjourned, and gone home
drunk and won't be back 10 Trenton till hexi
year.
| 1t was hard case.
TIE mistake CD had occurred on the last
day of the session, whea Legislators and
transcribing clerks were laboring under q
champagne breakfast. Smiths name had
been put where jones' ought to have been
and "wisey wersey," as the Latid poet ha'
it.