Muscatine weekly journal. [volume] (Muscatine, Iowa) 185?-1890, 1859-04-08
cyTbe method Of drowning trouble sug-

Cy@The method of drowning trouble sug-
gested by our correspondent below is truly phllo-
sophie, and we recommend it to the bachelor fra
ternity generally when, desponding Under perplex-
tiles (which human flesh is heir to, they feel like
bathing in the unknown waters of Lethe. "Susan-
eide" is the best means by which to dispose of
ones self under such circumstances Instead OF
jumping into the river and ending your sorrows
throw yourself into the of some fair one; or,
instead of hanging yourself from rafter by hal
ter. hang yourself at the altar-to some divinity
with or without hoops But listen to one who has
tried it.
Getting Married.
Mr. EDiroR We as teachers, have had several
intricate questions to analy while teaching scooi
during the past winter; but the most complicate
and intricate sum to find an answer to is, how to
get something for teaching. II the present school
system had been valid in the first place, perhaps
there would have been difficulty. BUTT appears
that the first system was all unconstitutlona and
the curative act met the same fate, and that
PLAYED smash with all our calculations III township
70; for when the word came that the School Law
was knocked into three cooked hat or crooked
appc-trce, the President Of township 70 convened
the board; and, whereas, we had all IN general
been hired for months, the board reduced our
time to four months. This we could stand very
well, if we could get pay for what we have done
But as vet we have been unsuccessful The old
adage is, ."The most hungry wolf howls first"
do not know whether AM the first to howl or not
but Iknow that there are several who are growing
and will venture to say that some of them will
pretty soon begin to howl unless they get their pay
Not Getting nv pay has not driven me to despara
ton, but when [ finished my four mouths term,
was so troubled about something that went right
off and married.
Now, my fellow chips, should any you be very
much troubled about your pay, Will just say that
it NAV relieve your mind, at least for short time,
to get married The idea of having new wife
NAV soothe your troubles for short time.
Mr. Editor, while | am in this train OF thought,
lust saw to the public that on the 9th of March, A
d. 1889, IL. p FINN, an old pioneer school teacher
of the West and Miss MARY JANE DENHAM, OF 3
township, were married. il
Now, Mr. Editor, l cannot promise you any mon
ev for publishing the above, but will venture to
promise You bushel of onions next fall II raise
them The prospect for raising them is toleraby
favorable for have three pecks ofttle top-onions,
and nv new wife says she will help set them out,
and verify believe She will, for she does not wear
hoops.
! Well, WE'LL have left the train of thought on
school, and been tinkering and telling about mar
riage When Washington disbanded the American
armv it was very severe on the soldiers TO go nome
without any pay. 1t took all the masnanimlty, all
the prcpossesson all the angel soul OF ashlngton
to appease them But having full confidence IN
their old commander, they disbanded without much
trouble with the full assurance of getting their pay
and must believe that we will get our pay
III. p FINN.