Saint Paul weekly Minnesotian., 1859-11-26
tyaNTED-A yIsN1ST Err.

We have been without pastor
Some eighteen months Or more,
And though candidates are plenty,
We've had at least a score
All Of them "tjp-top' preachers,
Or So their letters ran-
Wc'er just as iar as ever
From settling on the man.
Tn first who came among us,
BY no means vas the worst,
Gut then we didn't think OF aim
Because he was the first;
1t beng quite the custom
70 sacrifice few,
Before the church IN earnest
Determines what to do.
There was smart young fellow
With serious, earnest way,
Who, but for one great blunder,
Had surely won the day;
Who left so good Impression,
On Monday one or two
Went round among the people
To see what they could do.
The pious, godly portion
Had not a fault to find,
His clear and searching preaching
They thought the very kind;
And all went smooth and pleasant,
Until they heard the views
Of some influential sinners
Who rent the highest pews.
On these his pungent dealing
Made but sorry hit;
The coat of Gospel teaching
Was quite to tight Il fit;
OF course his fate was settled 1872
Attend, ye parsons all,
And preach to please the sinners
IfyOu would get a call.
Next came spruce young dandy,
He wore his hair too long;
Anothers coat was shabby,
And his voice not over strong;
And one New Haven student
Was worse than all Of those
We could mt heed the sevmon
For thinking of his nose.
Then wearying of candidates,
We looked the count y thu Oh,
Mid Doctors and professors,
To find Que that would do;
And after much discussion
On who should bear the Ark,
With tolerable agreement
We fixed on DR.. Parhe.
Here, then, we thought it settled,
But were amazed to find,
Our fiattering invitation
Respectfully declined;
We turned to DR.. Hopkins
To help us in the lurch,
Who strangely thought that college
Had claims above our church.
Next we dispatched committees
BY twos and threes to urge,
The labors of Sabbath,
OF the Rev. Shallow Splurge;
He came-a marked sensation,
Sowonderful his style,
Followed the creaking of his boots
As he passed up the aisle.
His tones were so affecting,
His gestures so divine,
A lady tainted in the hvmn
Before the second line;
And on that day he gave us
In accents clear and loud,
The greatest prayer ever addressed
To an enlightened crowd.
He preached double sermon,
And gave us angels food,
On such a lovely topic
1.-The joys of solitude :"
All full of sweet descriptions
OF flowers and pearly streams,
OfNarbling birds, and moon!it groves
And golden sunset beams.
OF faith and true repentance,
He nothing had to say;
lie rounded all the corners,
And Stnnnthni tb,h
Managed with great adroitness
10 entertain and please,
And leave the sinners conscience
Completely at It's ease.
:-ix hundred is the salary,
We have in former days.
We thought it very liberal,
And found it hard to raise;
But when We took tue paper,
We had no need to urge,
To raise IL cool two thousand
For the Rev. Shallow Splurge.
In vain were all the efforts
We mad no chance at all
We found ten city churches
Had given him call;
And he, in prayerful waiting,
Was keeping all in tow,
But where they paid the highest,
1t was whispered he would go.
And now, good Christian brothers,
We ask your earnest prayers,
That God would send a shepherd,
To guide our church affairs,
With this clear understanding
A man to meet our views,
Must preach to please the sinners,
And fill the vacant pews.