Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1859-04-30
" II N 0 I 0 II s i.
Biddk Maloney's Cat.

Matthew Maloney, better known by the
boys Of the mill as Father Mat" on return
ing from work one evening, was met at the
gate by Biddy, his better half n Il high
state of excitement.
MAT" says she, there's strange cat iu
the cabin.
Cast her out thin, an don't be botberiu'
me about the baste."
"Fax, on I've been sthrvin' to do that
same tor the mather Of ten minutes past, but
she's just beyont my rache, behiut the big
red chst 10 the corner. win yez be aither
bel pin me to dhrive her out, Mat2'
"1o be sure | WILL bad luck to the consate
she has for me house; show her to the,
Biddy, till | tache her the rispict that's due
to u man in bis own house--to be takin' pos.
session wid-out as much as by your lave, the
thafe o the world !"
Now Mat had a special autipathy Eor cats,
and never let pass an opportunity to Glll one
This he resolved to do in the present case,
and INSTANTLY formed a plan FOR the purpose.
Perceiving but one mode Of egIess for the
animal, he says to Blddy:
Have yez iyer mule bag 10 the house
me darlni? Z"
"Divil o wan is there Mat. Yez tuk it to
the mill wild yez, to b.ing home chips wild,
this mornin' "
"Faix, an did, and there it is yit then.
Well have yez nothing Mt all 10 the house
that will tie up like bag Biddy p
"Troth, an l have, Mat, there's me Sun
day petticoot-ye can dhraw the strings close
at the top, an sure it will do betther nor
lettin' the cat be LAWN yez."
"Biddy darlint, yez jewel TO be thinkin'
Of that same be afther bringin' it to me-"
Biddy brought the garment, and when the
81 rims uara dro pn clnSa il ura1a a vorv ooo.I
substitute for meal bag, aud Mat declared
it was elegant"
So holding it close against tue edge Of the
chest he took look behind and saw pair
of bright eyes glaring at him.
AN is it there ye are, ye 1evil Be out
Of that now; bad luck to all yer kin, ye
thavin vagaboue ye. Bedad, an ye wont
lave my house at all thin wild perite axin'
Yer selfwill bates pigs intrely. Biddy,
have yez any hot wather in the house ,"
"Iis, I've pluty, Mat, the tay-kettle's
full Nv it,"
"Be afther castin' the matther of quart
thin behint the chist, till soy how the shay
divil takes it,"
"Hould i'm close, Mat, here goes the wa.
ther."
Dash went the water, and out jumped the
cat into Mats trap.
"Arrah, be the howly poker, have i'm in,
Biddy," says Mat, drawing close he folds o.
the garment; "now, bad cess to yez, ye thafe,
Its nine lives ye have, is it? Be afther akin
forgiveness, Tor the thavin' ye have been
doin' in me house, for I'm thirkin' the nine
lives ye have won't save ye now, any way
! Biddy seize bout o! the poker an whin III
shouide, The haythen veil bate the daylights
out O i'm"
Mat threw the bundle over his shoulder,
and told Biddy to play "St. Patrick's day in
the morning" on it. Bddy struck about
three notes Of that popular Irish air, aud
suddenly stopped, exclaimng;
What smlIs so quare, Mat? Its takin
me birth away wild the power Nv it, Och,
murther, Mat sure an ye have the div in
the sack"
Bate the ould hathen, then yez i'll niyer
have betther chance. Bate the horns off
/ i'm lather i'm like blazes, me darlint"
"Augh!' says Biddy, "lm Fant!n' wild de
| power OF i'm Cast i'm off yez Mat ~
"Howly St. Pathric6," says Mat, throwing
down the sack, "Biddy, the baste is pole
cat Lave the house, or yez'll be kilt ntire-
/ y. Mnrther and turf. how the haythen
smills. Och, Biddy Maloney, purity kittle
o fish yez made of it, TO be sure, to be mis-.
takin' that little divil for harumless cat"
Mat, for the love O. God, if yez convan-
ent to tue door, be afther openin', for I'm
narely choked wild i'm. Och, Biddy Maloney,
bad luck to yez for lawn ould Ireland, to be
murdered in this way. Howly Mary, per.
tect me ! Mat, I'm cane kilt intirely-take
me out O. this"
Hat threw her out of doors, ana then broke
for the pump like a quarter horse, closely
followed by Biddy.
"Shure, that little villain bates the div
intirely; he's ruined me house, an put me
out o consaie wild meSelf for month TO
come. Och, the desesvn' yagabone, bad
luck to him. and Mat plunged hs head into
the horse.trough up to his shoulders.
Get ont o. that, Mat, Pm nearly blind"
and Bddy went under the water. Och, the
mutherin baste," says Bddy, sputtering the
water out Of her mouth, me best petticoat
is split entirely. Mat Malouey, divl trap
will iyer help yez to sit for cat again"
Don't throuble yerself, Mistress Maloney,
ye've played the Glvil Gs it is Nivir fear me
akin laporth O. yer assistance. It's nath'.
raj fool ye are, TO be takin' baste Nv a pole
cat for bouse cat"
Mat and Biddy went cautiously back to the
cabin from which the offensive QuaGruped
had taken his departure. Things were turn
ed ont OF doors, Biddy's pettieoat buried the
bed, which fortunately escaped, moved to
near ueighbors, the stove moved outside, and
for week they kept house out Of doors. by
which time, by dint Of bard scrubbipg, wash.
ing, aud airing, the house was rendered once
more habltable, but neither Mat nor Biddy
has forgotten the strange cat"