, 1859-03-04
The Umbrella Riter a;t I.

Itnined-hopelessly. The clouds came down
in sheets and sluicea Monsieur Dc H. an
elegant @of The flfst water. 16und this second
water too wet for him. Hewas klanded under
another mans portico, and not hackney coach
or an umbrella within screaming At Suddenly
around the corner comes q plain citizen; IiDused
under q protecting heaven Of blue cotton and
whalebone, but under this enviabis umbrella.
walking alone. A thought seizes Monsieur a.
H.. He ruahes 70 the citizens side, and uciz-.
ing him aitectionateiy by the arm, commences The
eagcrnairItion Of touching train Of events. Not
giving his astonished listener tine 10 respond he
hurries him along-sharing his umbrella. Of
course, rs he goes-and clineing closely 70 his
side and vo:iferatlhg the confidential communi.
ratOus tin they arrive at the BOulcvart be alops
at egfe, and then, for the frst time, apparently,
takes surprised look at the face Of bis umbrella
lender. Overwhelming apologies--had wholly,
mistaken The person--thonghtit L was his intimate
frieDd-begs ten thousand pardons-knd lodges
safe inside Of the cofiec-house. But dc fdnl
was TO be In telling the story To in conTulEbd
circle Of delighted fellow jandies, Monsieur de-
H. was telling his adventure, when, by
chance, placing his hand on bis heart, be missed
bis usual protuberance in his vest pocket The
valuable gold watch was gone. In bis close
elnging 70 the apparently plain citizen, the gay.
joker had hugged q piekpOcket and--@cons8s
queace wasl" But he was, consequently, fonder
Of "a dry joke" than wet Onel -,
I sN..I laH- Ilu rIInrI
The Mariposa Star relates that Al pubIic din
ner, man, while relating something % the COM
pany about two Chinese women, said .-aI de-
clare they were the uglicst wcnun I have s6sn
anywhere.s There happening % Be- eiwomaidln,
ladies' present Of no remarkhble beauty, de
speaker, who was little misty, began % think
he had made mess Of II, and that they would
imagine he was alluding 70 them; 30, toput mat
tcrs straight as he thought % added athe
present company excepted" ROats % hashlsr
ensped, and. in 2 few minutes both speaker and
is 1iii'1 '''i' i"-- i'''-'S-. ..i ~ OK d yrssoa
An orthodox Yankee expresses himself e l6l-
lows concerning eternity: Eternity why,
don't you know the meaning Of that wordt
Nor I either, hardly. ID Is l6r ever and ever
and five or SIX everlastings atop Of that You
might place row Of figures from here 10 sunset
and cipher them up, and Il would not begin b
tell how many ages long eternity ia Why, my
friends, ailer millions and trillions Of years have
passed away in the morning Of eternity, Il would
be hundred thousand years 70 broadcast paa
The Philadelphia Evening Journal aells he fol
lowing story Of the indecofous and unkind way
in which one Of the monstrous New York Ledger
placards was treated BY Yankee boy; Cup in
a little town Of Now England, q flaming placafd
was stuck about the streets, bearing b bright
yermillion seharacterS this device-, Have you
read Cobb's new Storyr Ono Of the lads Of the
village paused before the poster, and scFaWled
beneath il with red chalk Mary rcd Fro aai
What Is tho difference between butcher and
young Iadyg Ans--'The 6fmef kills 70 dress
while the latter dresses 70 kill tar astainQol