davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1859-09-29

A FLEA UNDER A MICROSCOPES appears as
large as an elephant, with coat of armor much
more complete than ever warrior wore, and COM
posed Of strong polished plates fitted over each
other, each plate covered ike tortoise-sheh,
and where they meet, hundreds of strong quiils
project, like those on the back Of the porcuplne
or hedgehog. There are the arched neck, the
bright eyes, the transparent cases, the plercers
to puncture the skin, sucker to draw away the
blood. six long.iointed legs, four Of which are
folded on the breast, all ready, at any moment,
to be thrown out with great force for that jump
which bothers one when they want to catch him,
and at the end of each leg, hooked claws, to en-
Bile him to cling to whatever he alights upon.
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1859-09-29
Where the Laugh Came In.

Bunce's and Sizar's farms adjoined each other,
Sizar had an unruly sheep which was in the
habit of getting into Bunce's field. Bunce
expostulated with Sizer several times, and then
told him if he did not keep his sheep at home,
he would fix him, SO he wouldn'tjump any more
fences. But Bunce soon found the sheep back
again; so he canght him, and with knife
severed the cuticle or skin just beyond the
gambriel joint and between the main cord and
bone, then thrust the other hind leg through the
aperture and put the sheep back over the fence,
which went off hobbling on three legs
Sizer soon after discovered the sad plight his
sheep was in, and he knew very we'll who was
the cause Of it, but he concluded to take things
cody, and await some suitable opportunity to
revenge himself
Presently, Bunce's old sow broke into Steers
field, when he caught her, and with sharp
knife cut her mouth almost from ear to ear, and
turned her back.
When Bunce discovered this, he went to
Steers in a great rage, and demanded of him
what he did that for. Sizer said Upon my
word neighbor Bnnce, ] did not do any such
thing. Your old sow split her mouth laughing
at my sheep through the fence l''-Syracuse
Standard
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1859-09-29
How A RAIN CLOUD FoRMs.-Prof. Wise

describing his last balloon voyage says:
We plainly say that the southwest wind below,
which drove us to the northwest at starting, had
now supplied the atmosphere with moisture
enough to make a growing rain cloud Slowly,
but interestingly, the yapor assumed a milky
hue. Presently it assumed the appearance of a
vascular cloud then it spread out, and bulged
down in the middle, and soon it had the appear
ance of a great udder, with the water oozing
through it, but more copiously at and around
its protuberant centre. 1t was an interesting
phenomenon, and it seemed as though nature
was .unbosoming her mammal to these udders
and water-spouts before.
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1859-09-29

A thick headed squire being worsted by sgd
ney Smith in an argument, took his revenge BY
exclaiming IF had son who was an idiot,
by Jove, I'd make him parson." VERY prob
able, " replied Sydney, but see your father
was of different mind /"
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1859-09-29

THr man who long stood in doubt of the
Christian religion, from an indisposition to obey
its requirements, has fallen into a state Of unbe-
lief. He finds it more agreeable to believe q
falsehood that suits his present convenience,
thar system of truth adapted to the promo
ton ofhis future welfare
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1859-09-29

An old law once existed in Hampton county,
Mass, by which several women of ~ mean es-
tate 4" were fined for wearing silk dresses.
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1859-09-29

A writer on swearing says :" An oath from
woman's lips is unnatural and incredible. |
would as soon expect bullet from rosebud. /"
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1859-09-29

Brains VS.. Riches-Give a man brains and
riches-he is king; give him brains without
rches-he is slave; give him riches without
brains, and he is, of course, a-f OIL
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1859-09-29

The following is postscript to an Irish let
ter =
DEAR MIKE IF you don't get this letter
at all, write and it's know it, and I'll raise the
divil with the postmaster"
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1859-09-29

PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT. -" Oh, Jacob"
said master to his apprentice boy, it is won
derfu1 to see what quantity you can eat !"
/" Yes, master" replied the boy; have been
practising since was child
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1859-09-29

"Have you ever broken a horse inquired
ahorse-jockey "No, notexactly," replied Sim
mons, "but have broken three or four wag-
ons."
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1859-09-29

Husband, Unjust have some change to-day"
"Well, stay at home and take care OF the chill
dren; that will be change enough, any how. )"
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1859-09-29

An Irish paper describing late duel says
that one of the combatants was shot through
the " aeshy part of the thigh bone"
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1859-09-29
D. D. Blackwell, Publisher.
gpet's 81 d . &
iron THE PRESS.
IA Storm.

iron THE PREss.l
e A Storm.
BY NETTIE.
Swiftly rolled the clouds along,
Pealed the thunder loud and long,
And darkness, oh how dread,
Soon was gathered overhead.
Flashed the lightning fiery dart,
Fear opprest each quaking heart,
Closely all the herds did throng,
flushed each little bird its song.
Soon the rain in torrents fell,
And the roaring brooks did swell,
Strove the sturdy oak in vain,
Firmly to endure It's main,
But ere long the word was given,
IS Clouds depart; 2 and, 10 . they're riven,
Now the skies are clear and bright,
All around us CLEANS with light,
So then Christian, clouds may rise,
And with gloom Ger spread the skies,
Storms may come with rending power,
Sorrow waves may round thee roar.
Hark methinks voice you'll hear,
Bidding you no longer fear,
List those words your heart will thrill
Jesus whispers Peace be still.
Then the clouds will all disperse,
Then the raging storm win cease,
And q radiance all divine,
Will about thy pathway shine.
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1859-09-29

An Irish lover has remarked that it is great
pleasure to be alone, especially when you have
your swate-heart with you.
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1859-09-29

TEXAS derives its name from an Indian word,
signifying beautiful
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1859-09-29

THE three great conquerers of the world are
Love, Death, and Fashion
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1859-09-29

1t an old proverb that boys will be boys. y
What pity 'tisn't equally true that men will be
men.
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1859-09-29

Sweep first before your own door, before you
sweep before your neighbor's.
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1859-09-29

HopE.is a good breakfast, but a bad supper
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1859-09-29

When does man rob his wife? When he
hooks her dress
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1859-09-29

An Irishman, in speaking of relative who
was hanged, says he died during tight-rope
performance.
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1859-09-29

If young ladies nowadays did not become
women at thirteen, some men would have better
wives.
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1859-09-29

There was once man SO intensely polite that
as he passed hen on her nest, he said, Dom
rise, ma'am."
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1859-09-29

Never buy a pig in a poke.
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1859-09-29
III 1t Mt d 4 d 1t q.


The following is postscript to an Irish let
DEAR MIKE If you don't get this letter
at ALL write and tits know it, and I'll raise the
dvil with the postmaster"
Brains VS.. Riches-Give a man brains and
riches-he is king give him brains without
riches-he is a slave give him riches without +
brains, and he is, of course, a-f OIL
An old law once existed in Hampton county, |
Mass, by which several women of mean es-
tate were fined for wearing silk dresses.
A writer on swearing says -" An oath from
awoman's lips is unnatural and incredible. /
would as soon expect bullet from rosebud
"Have you ever broken horse I" inquired
ahorse- jockey "No, not exactly" replied Sim
mons, "but have broken three or four wag
ons"
An Irish paper describing late duel says
that one of the combatants was shot through
the +" aeshy part of the thigh bone"
Husband Unjust have some change to-day"
"Well, stay at home and take care of the chill
dren; that will be change enough, any how.
An Irish lover has remarked that it is great
pleasure to be alone, especially when you have
your swate-heart with you.
tits an old proverb that boys will be boys"
What pity 'tisn't equally true that men will be
men.
Sweep first before your own door, before you
sweep before your neighbors.
When does man rob his wife? When he
hooks her dress.
If young ladies nowadays did not become
women at thirteen, some men would have better
wives.
There was once man SO intensely polite that
as he passed hen on her nest he said, Dom
rise ma'am."
An Irishman in speaking of relative who
was hanged, says he died during tght-rope
performance.
Never huv MIG in a poke f
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1859-09-29

But ere long the word was given,
+" Clouds depart " and, 10 they're riven,
Now the skies are clear and bright,
All around us CLEANS with light.
The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1859-10-19
FOrUiVc0leaA.

Forgiveness.
One Of the grande illustrations of the principle OF
Forgiveness has lately occurred in the Episcopal
Church in the restoration Of Bishop Ondsrionk to his
ecclesiastical poition after compelling him to occupy
apuryatorial situation for years. The Bishop,
II will be remembered many years ngo charged,
and 1t proved, with attempting improper ill.,
timacy with certain ladies of his church, Several of
these ladies in stage coach at time with the
old sinner and he, full Of wine, could not confne his
admirations to looks or language, but must attempt
personal mauipulatons OF very familiar character.
One of the ladies' who thus tc.tifes against him. was
the wife of a minister whom the Bishop then on
his way to ordain; the husband being then in the
coach and the time of the attack being after "nghts
sable curtains" &C., &c. The lady told her husband
the next day, and that husband permitted himself to
be made "a chosen vessel of tho Lerd by the laying
Oh Of the same hands which he knew had lechcrousy
Travelled over the boz ON Of his vrtuous wife, What
that wife thought Of the soemnty Of the ordination
We don't know, but the forgiveness extended by her
husband to the nsulter say that with 70 great
disnitary it would not DO greatly wrong to commit
any indiscretion.
The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1859-10-19
Pixies Peak correspondence.
GOLDEN CRY. Sent. 26. IS

GOLDEN CITY, Sept. %. '59.
Dear Colonel: partly made you promise
that I would write you, not letter, for l am
not letter writer, but a few lines, to let you
know how the world and all the rest of man
kind in general get aleng out here.
Well, to commence with the McGregorites,
I believe they are all right side up with care,
Some are making money, and some were never
known to do so !; some are coming home and
some are going to try a winter in the Rocky
Mountains, among the former are your humble
servant and J. Peck, who expect to start in a
few days, wind and weather permitting. We
shall not fetch a pile Of gold, but we will bring
few pieces as big as nubs of chalk, just To
prove that there is gold out here, and Pixies
Peak no humbug. -......
There has been good deal of gold taken
out this year but nothing to what will be taken
out next year. The mines are not half dcyel
oped, and the miners have not the tools nor time,
this fall, to do much
We get but very little news here from the
States. as the mails are very irregular, and pa.
pers sell at two bits and scarce at that.
Please excuse any errors that you may find,
for am sitting on box leaned up against a
wagon wheel, and the wind plays the ID with
my paper. .s-
When come nome, will give you fits il,
the way of big strikes out here, besides some
that are not so big.
Yours, Truly, D. B. CLEGHORN.
The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1859-10-19
HEALTH OF AMERICAN WOMEN.


LNEMALE irregularities, weakness, uterine dsplacc-
IL ments and all local uterine dfhcutes and consti-
tutonal troubles OF women are entirely cured by the
GRErENBERG MARsHALL's UTERINE CArHoLIcoN.
In this connection, Miss Beecher sister OF the Rev.
Henry Ward Beecher in letters to the people, page 1885,
says: 81 have nine sisters and sisters-inlay and IA
female cousins, all married, and all delicate and ailing
Amid tho immense circle of my friends and acquan-
tances cannot recall ten married ladies, born in this
century and country, who perfectly healthy" In
however, where the Grnfenborg Catholicon has
been used say that health has taken the place
Of disease, and ladies have become robust strong, vi
gorous and healthy.
the confding trusting nature of woman, but how
much does it need to be protected by watchfulness
that will lead her. in time OF disease to appeal to med
ical adviser of scientific education, moral worth and
purity of character" All these may be secured by ad-
dressing the Grefenberg Company. -.
II gives great plea to certify to the nvarinblc
curative action of the Grefcnberg Marshals Uterine
skill and high moral character of the medical depart
mcnt Of tie Grcefcnberg Company.
J.P. LAMBERT. NJ. NJ,
E Auburn Four Corners Penn.
arr Methodist clergyman. My heart has fairly
ached to witness the feeble health of women have
Travelled my circuit preaching the gospel. thank
God however, that have all these diseases. give
way to the Grcienberg Marshals Caolicon, wherever
1t has been used. hEv. PETER SHARP,
--. -a Rdgeway, Mich.
cannot ind words to express my thanks to to the
medical adviser Of the Grefenberg Company, whose
prescription of their Catholicon, together with his able
and kind advice the means under Heaven, of res
the failure of the best physicians in the country
afford me any relief KATE n. HAMILTON,
Wilmington. Del.
See Advertisement IN another column. 34y1
The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1859-10-19

We are indebted to many gentlemen for returns
rom the late election. Among these name D. D.
w. Carver Of Floyd Co., Lacy and McClintock Of West
Union, Kimball Of Decorah W. Drips Of Garnavillo
Frank Smith Of Bradford and Granger Of Alamakes.
L. Ainsworth (dem.) Is Senator in the Fayette
district J. J. Welsh (dem.) Ia sheriff, and Bennett
(dem.) School Sup't Doales (dcn,) for Judge Il de.
featcd by 20 votes. The Republican maj. for Cover
nor is $50 lees than In 1855. In Alamakee Co. the
Democrats elect all their ticket by large majority
the State ticket l. $50 ahcad--a large gain. G. W.
Gray for the Senate has 572 maj in Alamakce and Is
elected by 400 majority in that and wnnesheik Cour.
ties In Winnesheik the entire Democratic Co. ticket
Is elected exosp Representatives and Treasurer
Republican loss State ticket compared with '5S
IL nearly 200 In Floyd Co. the Democrats elect David
wiite Judge and John Blunt Sheriff the balance Of
the ticket l. Rep. On Governor the Democrats gain
10. Chickasaw gives the Republican State ticket .
major ty Of 1913. Howard Co Il reported Demo, ratio,
Mitchell, Republican by 800 maj. Letters received
here state that Col jenkins (dem) IL elected to the
House from Mitchell and Howard. 4..#a-
The Chicago papers state that Krkwood gains at the
South--if 80 he may be elected, but want to have
the counties heard from before give up either the
Governor the legislature Rusch, for Lieut.. Gov.
Is undoubtedly elected, great many German Demo.
Gratis having voted for him.
The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1859-10-19
CLAYTON coUN1Y--orFIcrAL,

After week Of reports and contradic-
tons, We at length have the pleasure Of
knowing the vote of Clayton county. BY
the politcncss of BEN. +. Fox, Esq, we
have the official vote by townships. at
this late hour, TUESDAY, three O'clock it
is impossible to get the Table in the col.
umns of the Times. and we therefore give
the total vote for each candidate. We have
no space to write about the causes, or to
exult over the issue-it is good enough for
Democrats and bad enough for Rcpubli.
cans without any blow about it. It will be
seen that the vote on Governor shows a Re-
publican loss, As compared with 90, of 1879.
The average majority for Republican Judges
is 165. The Democrats have elected DAVID
HAMMER to the Senate; SCHUYLER Il. PEET
to the House Of Representatives; JoSA-
THAN KAUFMAN, to the Sheriffalty; HORACE
EAERY, Supt. of Schools; EZRA HuEp,
Surveyor; j. w. Porrs, Drainage Com
missioner; and john P. kRIEBs, Coroner
The Republicans elect s. H. MERRILL, to
the House; JoHN CARRIER, Judge; and
The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1859-10-19

Rcv. ID. w. Cah11.
This very distinguished and able Catholic
writer will leave Ireland for America on the
22d October to make the tour of the States
and Of Canada. to see his countrymen, to in.
form himself Of American institutions and to
point out to the laborcrs at home where in the
US. labor is the best rewarded. He will lee
ture on Astronomy in his travels and his arti.
cles or letters home "wiN have no reference
directly or indirectly to politics, international
or domestic" In . letter announcing his
coming he says 81 shall be mere Irish travel.
er cheering my fellow-countrymen wherever
happen to find them and conveying the
thanks, the gratitude of Ireland to America
for her protection and her matchless hospitality
to the wandering emigrants from this country"
We hazard nothing in saying that Dr.. CAzlLL
10 an ADLER European than ever made the tour
Of America, and his etters home. or their re.
publication here, will be read with intense in.
terest by all who get q sight Of the series. As
divine OF the controversial historical order he
is unrivaled his satire is terrible, his scholas.
tic knowledge is not excelled and he hates the
British Government with cordially which
augurs no condemnation Of our institutions for
the accommodation of father. Bull.
The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1859-10-19
MARRIED.

At Farmer. burgh. on the 18th inst. 10y Rev. Geo.
Garkin. Mr.. MERRILL A. KNIGHT and Miss AMANDA
RENsHAw, all of Farmersburgh.
A. McGregor, on the 18th inst, by the Rev. II. G..
Macarthur, JOHN Low, NJ. D., formerly Of Albany, n.
Y. to Miss KATE CoNKLiNc, of Long Island, N. Y.
Records like the above glad 10 make Doctors
have just good right to the pleasures Of home
and the bliss of intimate sympathy other people
have. We are md ebted to the amiable bride for a
present Of most excellent quality for which he will
accept thanks The best wishes Of the Times office
are hereby extended to the part OF the new firm.
The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1859-10-19

LADIES! LApIEs!-A you afflicted with Nervous
ness Dyspepsia, want of energy Weakness, Dizziness
or sick IIeadachcc. Read the following
Germantown, Pa, March as, 1857.
DR. G. NJ. Jackson Sir IL affords great plea
in speaking word for your most excellent Ger
man Bitters.
Being persuaded bv friend, about three months
ago, to try your Btcrs for pain In the side, Dyspcp-
STA, gddiness in the head loss of appetite, general d.
bility, &c, purchased bottle, and finding SO much
relief from IT, tried second and third bottle, with the
same beneficial results "a the former ones. 1 have
tried almost every medicine, but none gave so
much relief your German Bitters, and in justice to
YOURSELF ard for the good ofpcrsons afflicted with the
above complaints, take this plan Of recommending
them to all.
..- HANNAH WUNDER,
Wife of Alderman Wundcr, Main st near Rtteahouse.
These Bitters prepared by DR.. G. NJ Jackson,
AIS Arch street, Philadelphia, Pa, and sold by
druggists ana storekcsrsrs IN every town ana village
ca, at IS cents per bottle. Be and get Hocoads
German Uitters. 16lw2
The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1859-10-19
OnAittink too Much.

Agreen, good naturcd, money making,
up-country fellow, who said everything dry
ly, got things tixed," and struck up a
bargain for mltrimony. Having no parti-
cular regard for appearances, the parties
agreed to employ not overwise country
justice to put on the tackling. lie COM
menced the ceremonies by remarking that
lit was customary, on such occasions, to
commence with prayer, bat he believed
he would omit that" After tyiny the
knot, he said lit was customary to give the
married couple some advice, but he bclicv-
ed he would omit that also" The ccremo-
ny being ended the bridegroom took the
justice by the buttonhole, and clapping his
finger on his nose, said
Squire, it's customary to give the mag
istrate five dollars, but I 6'liere RI omit
that"
The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1859-10-19

MApNBss-ft il reported that Mr.. II. Black, of
Newport, ILL.,, was bitten by Rooster and that the
man went mad and died with all the symptoms Of by.
drophobia except that he crowed aud pcckea during
the parsxysms instead Of barking and swapping. 81.
case similar to this occurred in Clayton County
lately. An cid friend of ours got ''struck" with q
Rooster and his form of madness took the shape of
ofice-hunting he cro~cd and pcokcd also, but Peck
wouldn't do any good Cor the cause, aad after = few
weeks Of anxiety our friend recovered the sight OF
rooster since the election sends the chlls to tho
Of his boots.