Muscatine weekly journal. [volume] (Muscatine, Iowa) 185?-1890, 1859-03-25

works off the following llfe-llke por-
traits of characters to be met with on
railroad cars, which no one that has
ever been "away from home" can fail
to own or recognize:
If ever, to please my friends and to
delight my enemies, | should make
book, I think l should choose for my
subject the behavior Of people who trav-
ell by railway. l am confident my OBJ
servations Of character and conduct in
my percgrinations in twenty-five of our
thirty three sovereign States, during
the last seven years, would make, if
fairly written out, very sizable and
rather entertaining volume. Let me
mention some Of the characters and
characteristics Of which l would dis
course. Insprimis, | would talk of
the unsophisticated traveler-the man
who is making his first journey by rail.
You see, at glance, that he is remote
from his ancestral halls or proprietary
cabin. lie is dressed in go-to-meet-
ing fashion has an uneasy look and
is anxiously inquisitivc touching the
safety Of his baggage, and the chance
of his being on the right train. What
sharp contrast to the verdant tourist
is the old traveller? He wears the most
substantial kind Of apparel; "lops
about" in free and easy manner and
has the enviable faculty of monopoliz-
ing a whole seat in spite of the crowd
of passengers, and Of getting the best
of everything at the refreshment rooms.
Habit has made him a philosopher, and
nothing less than a collision, or other
frightful accident to the train, ever dis
turbs his equanimity.
If the cars are off the track he smokes
or goes to sleep till they start again.
If the connexion is missed, he retires
to tho nearest hotel and makes himself
as comfortable as an Indifferent supper
and worse bed will permit to man
who, in tho vicissitudes Of travel, has
endured everything including the West
ern abomination q fried beefsteak,
and sheets that escape dampness from
not having been washed in fortnight.
Happy is the Oh Traveller! He was
a fastidious and orderly man not many
years ago, but he has grown wiser with
experience, and goes to bed with mis-
trowsers on now, Gas it is plain to see
the last occupant did, and sleeps like
a night policeman.
The men who travel with female
companions should make half dozen
chapters Of my volume at least. OF
course newly-married couples, or cou-
pies about to be married, would fur
nish very abundant and piquant
theme. The night-scenes would be es-
pecial.y amusing. On the whole, the
gift the poet prayed for-the power
''to see ourself as ithers see us'-is not
a thing to be desired. It would pre-
vent great deal Of happiness, and
would spoil a vast amount Of fun to OBJ
servers. I shall say no more on that
head.-or rather that pair Of heads that
rest so lovingly together, and sleep or
"seem to sleep" SO sweetly. I'LL reste,
I should describe three several charac-
tiers which I have seen in the cars SO
often that I know my man in twenty
minutes as we'll as if I had been favor
ed with months acquaintance. They
are: list, The man who travels with
his wife; I'd, The man who travels
with his wife's sister; Sd, The man
who travels with another mans wife.
, The first case is very common, and not
particularly interesting. The man is
taciturn, and sleeps apparently as much
as he can; the woman has a slightly
subdued expression Of face, and looks
, a good deal at the scenery along the
road, Of which she says, for the most
part-nothing. When she does speak,
as sometimes happens at the sight of
something very remarkable, she says
"See! John,''- that's all. The man
looks carefully after the baggage, and
assures his spouse, in reply to a ques-
ton, that ''it's all right The wo-
man takes care Of the "small traps,''
and seems quite contented and happy.
Altogether, they behave very rational
ly, and, in spite Of their seeming unso-
ciability, are really very fond Of each
other, and will make pleasant trip
not only to the end Of their railway
tour, but to the terminus Of their mat
rimonial journey.
The man who travels with his wife's
sister carries himself, perhaps, in the
main like the man who travels with his
wife. But he is much moro talkative,
and takes more pains to be agreeable.
He feels that more is expected Of him,
and, as it goes in commercial affairs,
the supply is equal to the demand. A
pleasant thing is a wife's sister; un.
less, indeed, she is quite the reverse
and that is not the sort of woman am
talking Of. She takes the wife's place
about the house sometimes, and may
chance to make an excellent stop moth
er. Why not for is she not already
the aunt Of her neices and nephews p
This sort of marriage, however, is, I
believe, anti. Levitical, and some Of the
theologians don't approve Of (which
is pity.
The man who travels with another
mans wife is Of much more marked
behavior. How attentive he is to all
the real and possible wants Of the lady.
He respects her whims even, which,
you may be sure, her husband does not,
at home or abroad. How carefully he
hands her in and out! How sedulously
plies her ear with discourse! And vet
he imagines people take him to be the