Smyrna times., 1859-07-14
MISCELLAN ECU IS.
hIR. BROWNS MISHApS.

Mr. Elphalet Brown was bachelor of 80
or thereabouts; ole of those men who seem to
be born to pass through the world alone. Save
this popularity. there was nothing TO dlsiln.
guish Mr.. Brown from the multitude of other
Browns who are born, grow up and die in this
world of ours.
# chanced that Mr.. Brown had occasion to
visit a town some fifty miles distant, OIL mat
ters of business. 1t was his first visit TO the
place, and he proposed stopping for day IN or
der to give himself an opportunity to look
about.
Walking leisurely along the street, he was
all at once accosted by child of five, who ran
up to him, exclaimng:
"FaIher!' Was it possible that he, bache-
lOr was addressed by that title! He could not
believe IL
who were you speaking to, my dear!" he
inquired of the little girl.
=" spoke to you. father," said the little girl,
surprised.
Really, thought Mr.. Brown, this is embar-
rassag.
al am not your father, my DEAR" he said
"whal is your name g.
The child laughed heartily, evidently think.
ing 1t good joke.
"What a funny father you are" she said; {;
=" but are you going to buy me some candy!"
Yes. yes I'll buy you pound if you won't
call me father any mOre," SAID Brown, nervous.
iy. Tae little gIrl claPped her hands with de-
light.
The pre- mise was all she remembered.
MIR. Brown proceeded to confectionery
store, and actually bought pound of candy,
which he placed in the hands OF the chhd.
10 coming out of the store they encountered
the chld's mother.
"Oh, mother - said the little girl, d" just see
how much candy father has bought for me-"
You shouldn't have bought her so much at
time, MIR. Jones," said the lady. "Pm afraid
she will make herself sex. But how did you
happen to get home so qulcki did not expect
you till night"
"Jones-I-madam," said the embarrassed
Ar. Brown, it's all a mistake; | amt Jones
at all. It isn't my name. | am Eliphalet Brown
OF W, and this is the first time | ever
came to this city,"
"Good heavens! Mr.. Jones, what has put
THIS silly tale into your head You have con-
euded to change your name, have you. Per-
haps it's your intention to change your wife =
Mrs. Jones' tone was rather defiant, and this
tended TO increase Mr.. Browns embarrassment.
81 haven't any wife. madam; | never had
any. On my word as a gentleman, never was
married."
"And do you intend to palm this tale of upon
me-" said Mrs. Jones' with excitement. elf
you are not married, I'D like TO know who
AMI"
al have no doubt you are most respectable
lady," said Dir. Brown. al conjecture IRON
what you have said, that your name ls Jones
but mine 10 Brown, madam, and always was
a"Malnda," said the mother, suddenly taking
her child by the arm and leading her up TO MI
az - = en totaa
"Why that's father ~ was the child's mme'
date reply, as she conidingly placed her hand
lnhis.
"You hear that, MIR. Jones, do you !-You
hear what the innocent child says, and yet yoC
have the unblushing impudeOce 10 deny iha
you are my husband The voice of nature
speaking through the child, should overwhelT
you. I'D like to know, if you are not her ia
ther, why you are buying candy for her! II
like to have you answer that. But presum
you never saw her before 10 your lite !"
al never did. On my honor | never did.
told her would give her the candy it she woul
not call me father any more."
"You did, did you Bribed your child nc
to call you faiherI Do you intend to deseI
me. sir, and leave me to the cold charities
she world! And is this your first step T.
Mrs. Jones was so overcome that, wthoI
any warning. she fell back upon the sidewa!
ina faInting tit.
Instantly a number of persons ran to her
slstance.
s"Is your wife subject to fainting in this way u
asked the first conner of Brown.
III don't know" said Mr.. Brown. "She
not my wife. don't know anything abo
ker."
"Why it's Mrs Jones, aint it!"
. Yes, but I'm not DIR. Jones'"
aSir,p said the FIRST speaker. sternly, u
is no Jest. trust that you are not the eau
OF this excitement which must have caused yo
wfs's fiinting At. You had better call Goa
AID carry her home directly"
Poor Brown wac dumbfounded.