The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1859-12-14
~ Despise not little things

9 O0b lACy
are sources of large streams.
** A helm is a little thing but It
governs the course Of q ship
tx An ounce of good humor is worth
pound of logic.
~ A grain Of charity is worth ton
of doctrine.
TX Never let yonr honest conviction
be laughed down
* Every man likes to be taken for,
a gentleman, and few men like to be
charged as one in their hotel bill.
~ Scandal is a bit of false money,
and he who passes it is frequently as
bad as he who originates it.
~ One hoar lost in the morning by
lying in bed. will put back all the BUSH
ness Of the day.
We suppose the above merely ap-
plies to single folks
~ A young man in New York city
having advertised for a wife, received
word from eighteen married men that
he might have theirs
Xxx A little boy returning from Sun,
day School, said to his mother" Ma,
amt there a kittychism for little boys!
this catechism-is SO hard.
* The meanest man in the world is
in London. He buttons his shirt with
waters, and looks at his money through
a magnify'ng glass
** " Peter, you are such bad boy,
that you are not fit to sit in company
of good boys on the bench. Come up
here and sit by me, sir
* AT a colored ball, the following
notice was pasted on the door post -
Tickets fifty cents No gemmen ad
mitted unless he comes himself"
~ The Evening Post suggests that
there were ia Virginia two eminent
men lately, to wit, Osawatomie Brown
and What AN ass annie Wise.
TX A Tennessee paper says: The
Inauguration of the Governor was cell
ebrated by the firing of minute guns
every half hour"
~ Unhooped ladies, pure and unde-
| filed Christians, disinterested friends,
common honesty, sound potatoes, first
rate butter, unwatered milk and rich
printers, are scarce.
**A western editor describing
village after a hurricane had passed
over it, says, he saw twenty houses
full of people with their gable ends
blown out"
Xxx A fine gold lady's breast-pin,"
is advertised as lost. A bachelor
makes the inquiry if she is single
"gold lady," and is willing to be
changed.
* A down east editor says he has
seen the contrivance our lawyers use
when they warm up with the sub
ject." He says it is glass concern
and holds about pint.
* The editor of the Boston Liberia
tor calls upon the ladies of the North
to make use of nothing that is produ-
ced by slave labor. He needn't expect
them not to use cotton. They will not
expel so old friend from their bosonas.
~ In very thin house an actress
spoke very low in her communication
to her lover The actor, whose bene-
fit it happened to be, exclaimed with
woful humor, " My dear, you may
speak out there is nobody to hear
u.s."
** An old lady meeting Cam
bridge man. asked him how her nephew
behaved himself. Truly madam"
says he, hes q brave fellow, and
sticks close to Catherine Hail." (name
of a college II VOW" says she, .
feared as much be was always hank
ering after the girls from boy"
* When | go shopping" said an
elderly lady, i alters ask for what I
wants, and if they have it, and it's
cheap, and it can't be got at any place
for less, almost alters take it, without
chaffering about it all day, as some
people dc"
TX The New Brunswick FREEDMAN
in speaking of new counterfeit says,
"the only difference between it and
the original is the foot Of Liberty
on the right hand" Rather promi-
nent place for Miss Liberty's foot,
thinketh The Subscriber
rs" All, my dear girl, you have the
ring of the true metal"
No, | haven't, sir; you said it
was pure gold when you gave it to me,
but the jeweler says tits nothing but
brass"
~ A drunken fellow carried Bible
to town for pint of gin, but the gro-
Ger would not take it.
What said the fellow, "will
neither my word nor the word of God
pass current with you
~ Noami, the daughter of Enoch,
was FIVE hundred and eighty years old
when she was married. Courage,
| ladies