Meigs County telegraph. [volume] (Pomeroy [Ohio]) 1848-1859, 1859-11-22
dit Blts
EFThe first thing man takes 10 in
life il milk-the last is his bier. e -


life is milk--the last is his bier. 4
EE"Why is an old maid like dried
orange? Because neither Of them is worth
a good squeeze" .-
GEHow is il proved that Adam was
ortho dox, in his sentiments? Because his
belief was undoubtedly Eve -angelical.
GEA Frenchman has written to say
that he had invented remedy for the 2
'hake. which will allevi 8 all pain 4th-
with.
EEA man went to Judge to be quail
fled for an office. Said he. "Hold up
your hand, I'll swear you, but all creation
couldn't qualify you.
RE-An Irishman tells Of fight in
which there was but one whole nose left
in the crowd, "and that belonged to the
tay kettle" g. - #s
GN-A Frenchman, who had promised
to establish school, hearing that high
school would be more respectfully patron
lied, took room in the garret of a four
story house.
EE-Jo. Cose having had the question
propounded TO him whether he believed
in "original sin, replied that, so far from
it, he had found sin TO be the least origi-
nal thing in all the world r
g"Did you save your baggage?"
asked some sympathizing friends Of a gen
tlAman who had just escaped from a
wrecked steamer on the Mississippi
"Oh, yes," says he, pointing to his wife.
EY-An anti-tobacco lecturer spoke so
powerfully against the use of tobacco, that
several of his audience went home and
burned their cigars-holdirg one end of
them in their mouths by way of punish
ment.
EFMoliere was asked the reason why,
in certain countries, a king may assume
the crown at fourteen years of age, and
cannot marry before eighteen? alt is,
said Muiere, because it is more difficult
TO rule wife than kingdom"
Eg The publisher Of newspaper out
West, in the first issue Of his paper re-
turned thanks to those who loaned him
the ,pecunia,y means, and gratitude to
Heaven that there was 10 law in his State
to enforce imprisonment for debt.
g-"[ say, landlord, that's dirty
towel for man to wipe on!" Land ord.
with look Of amazement, replied: "Wel;.
you're mighty particular Sixty or sew
enty of my boarders have wiped on that
towel this morning, and you are the first
one to find fault"
w-"Sambo, you know dat parson
Muffin told us last Sunday dat good
cometh out of evil. Now for 'lustration
Dis kinky lock ob Dinahs wool sent me
in her last letter, rtjoices de cookies OBJ
my heart Dus, dis tress causes happi-
ness. Don't you see 'um?" ..
gS Several nice young gents went to
The residence of young damse few
evenings since to give her a serenade.-
After some time, the servant stepped out,
and walking up to one of them, exclaimed
MY friend, the FOLKS are all a-bed; you
can't get a cent here tonight"
H"There is two ways of doing it,
said Pat to himself, as he stood musing
and waiting for a job on the State street
corner. If save me $4,000, l must
lay up $500 year for twenty years. or |
can put away $50 year for 200 years.
Now which way will | do it?'
D-"Wonderful things are done now
a.days," said Mr.. Timmins, " the doctor
has given Fick's boy a new lip from his
cheek"
"Ah," said the old lady, "many's the
time | have known pair taken from
mine, and no very painful operation Ell
ther." ~ ref
EF"Vell, lasht night wash de worst as
never wash. / taught to go down de hill
to mine house, but no sooner did / walk,
dan de fasGer / stand i'll, for de darkness
was so tick, dat | coot not stir it nit
mine boots, and den de rain in more dan
tree minute my skin was wet troo to mine
close. But den in Won leetle vile ii stopped
quittin 10 rain something; so | keeps feel
ing myself all de way long; and ven |
comes to mine own house to walk in, vat
you tink? 1t belong to somepody else. "
EyWe have little six-year-older at
home, who is noted among our friends aid
acquaintance for his original and prrco-
cious sayings. The other day he broke
out very abruptly with. "Father, what
makes negroes black?" Father tried to
explain the supposed reasons to suit his
comprehension, and in the course of his
remarks, said that they were descendants
of Ham, one of the sons OF Noah. George
pondered awhile, and at last Frightening
up, he said, very giavely, WAS lt-snoked
ham. father?"
EE- Three young conceied wits. as
they thought, themselves. passing along
the, road near Oxford, met grave old
gentleman, with whom they had mind
TO be rudely merry:
GOOD morrow, father Abraham" said
"Good- morrow, father Isaac" said the
next. fs.
Good morrow. father Jacob" cried
the last