The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1859-03-29

Wild visions OF the future began to cross my
brain wanted few mouths Of being o. s ase,
when should become my own master aud thet
Of q small property held from my mother.
No selfish reflection on the folly OF marrying on
three hundred year entered my head. That was
precisely my income. besides my pay tnoueht
could live cpon II; and even 90 blissfai did the
prospect seem, that actually determined to sell
out rather than delay my happiness. / Was wild
with passion: reflected on nothing. believed
in lot one shinr--my love, ardent devoted, and
sincere, for Maria.
Men, and women too, have the cruel courage to
laugh at these early passions. and to cover them
with ridcuie. II 10 possible that many, perhaps
the majority Of youths, are incapable Of feeling
love endurabe and eternal at 80 early period Of
their career. On this point am incapable Of give
ing an opinion. But this l do know, that ID my
case II was the one passion OF my life. ] felt as
keenly, as deeply, as devotedly, as ever mortal
man did feel-more keeniy, do believe, than
those whose blunted feelings are In after life at.
tractsd by beauty and grace.
Life had no charm, existence,no delight save her.
Others thought so too; and, rs was aware of my
brothers preference, brought the affair to an
Issue.
1t was Christmas.eve. The day was lovely
The snow was hard and crisp and dry. Shaks-
peares line would truly not have applied, for no
Rain and wind beat dark December"
We had walked out. /, as usual, by the exercise
OF little mansavring had Lady Maria on my
arm. My brother Tom, who was slower in his
movements, was forced to content himself with
| sister Fanny.
| Isuppose he did not wish to appear to watch ne;
so as We came to Dilcot Lane he turned to the right
as We turned TO the left The paths met about a
| mile below. Our path was down a valley, with
| rows of dark frs on either side--a sheltered and
pleasant place IL was, in summer, and not without
Its attraction In winter II it's being free from
| gusty wind puffs we're alone considered. About q
quarter Of the distance passed in silence.
| l could not talk. Lady Maria tried me once or
| twice. I answered in monosyllablcs.
| At length she began the conversation ia a tone
so tender and considerable could not but respond.
| "Desr Harry" she said "are you not wel?"
| swell enough In body"
| "Whatl' cried Lady Maria, in her more joyous
tone, "something pressing on .yonr mind
"You and you only said gravely.
| She looked up at me with keen and penetras
ting glance, which shall never forget. She turned
pale as she did so, and bent her eyes upon the
| ground.
"Weli, Harry" she said, sadly
"Marie, 1t is no use my Disgusting the truth any
longer-I love you'll love you with all my heart
| aud soul. Nay, do not interrupt me. From the
| very first evening came home, my senses have
| Mine is no boys fancy. / have cast my whole
| soul upon this one issue-you or nothing. With
| you, this earth would be the most joyous of
| earths without you a dreary waste. L have not
| spoken without reflection. Maria, l have said
that wish to succeed in life but begin to fancy
that love is worth all ambition. 1 am willing to
| leave the army. In few months L shall be of
| age; my fortune is small; but If dared to hope
that you-you-could but learn to love me, it
| would be enough for both"
"narry, is it possible" said the lovely girl,
| with beaming eyes, that you know not OF my
| woalth-of my fortune?"
| "Fortunep l gasped, letting 90 her arm, and
| looking terror.strickeD.
| $50 o." said Maria, kindly; shat would make
| no difference to me-"
| dearest beloved girl of my heart, pardon my
| DresumntiOn- / had N n suspiciup hat WAR
| any other than the portonless girl knew year
ago. Had suspected this" added proudly, 81
should have crushed the dawning passion within
my heart: its cow too late-rich or DOOR, nv
heart is irrevocably gone. / should have delayed
Il should have hesitated-but feared my bro>
Their might speak first. He is somebody-I am
| nobody"
"Your brother, Harry, would have been reject
ed,' said Lady Maria, dryly; sand now dear Har.
ry, would not willingly offend you, but you
must let me think this but burst of boyish
| passion"
| | staggered as she spoke.
| "No! l was boy when came here-a happy.
merry. careless boy-I am now a man. and YOU
| have made me so. 1t remains for you to decide
whether my manhood shall be one of glorious
| happiness, whether l become a desperate and
hopeless wretch, whose career upon earth Heas
| ven in its mercy will shorten.''
DON'T don't" she cried, "don't say such
| wicked thingsI"
| ''They are not wicked, Maria It ia even 10 Lilo
| the gambler, have unwittingly placed my whole
| existence on the hazard of de-death or life
| upon woman's smile. You may try to deceive
yourself, but you must believe me. When once
| q mans eyes have fixed themselves in love nnon
| you it is for ever"
"Harry Harcourt," said Lady Maria. apickly
81 would not believe it true for all the wealth Of
| the Indies"
| why" said I, trembling as with tn ague.
because can never beyours," she continued,
| with deep sigh.
"You do not love me ?" 1 gasped
s'Harry Hsrcourt, why press me on this painful
subject! l tell you plainly that can never-no
| never be yours"
| "But whyg'
81 am engaged to another, and shall be married
| in month"
"Ah l suspected tiny brotheri" sbreked
mo; to one you do no: know, and whose name.
| in your present humor, would rather not mem
tion.''
Heaven have mercy on me Is this reality. or
| some horrid dream? Can it be true2 anotber,s~,
II am sorry, Harry ~ she said in her softest.
| tenderest tone. 81 should not have come, had |
| suspected-''
Sorry! sorry!" L cried; 'sorry, indeed Why,
| IT'S but boys heartbroken-nothingm more. But
butts this engagement irTeyocable!n
81 havesbeen engaged this tweIvemonths" f.lter.
ed poor Maria who really did feel for me.
"And you love him9"
"He is man of noble character, a man TO req.
pect rather than love. He is much older than am
and yet bad looked forward with delight to onr
nnion as OF one wise and discreet promising great
happlDess-until just now"
Until just now?' | repeated
"Gss. Uarry-if that is auy satisfaction .o ro,,
know -aatI regret my recipitancy / shonId hsve
seen more OF the world ere tied myself ID not |
mistake me. Your passion takes me by snrnrise. |
put nad 0een free, gratitude, pride-for Won are
nooie ieiIow, Harry-Rould probably have led |
me TO return your generous, your disnterested OF
lection. 1t is now too late. NV word il irronaon
Oiy gwen, and to talk even of what mobt havo
beeh Is crime. Not another word, Harry. or
. ,eaSe you. calm yourself, or everybody will be
talking about u.s. l shall leave as soon Az 49, Do
bic. Would that had not comet, 49, P0s'i>
vas stunned, overwhelmed anuibilataa re,.
,ihe some guilty wretch condemned to die Itnew |
that nope, there was none. Lady Maria TernnIa,on
Noalu MOI nave been 30 hard, but to temper her
REFUSAL. Another's! 1t was fearful TO thipE ~
It was naddening, and it nearly drove mo -,
"heu Joihed my brother and sister tried m raj
~ II was put iaint attempt. 1t was no consolatioI
70 aie 10 know tnat that evening Lady Maria refos
~ enanra ~ pltiea hlm pited any one who had
another's. ono hhewat was
7, 10 DelisVe earth has no such other pain "A this
endnIa9 9a ths oyer that Christmas eve and how
ing sirens Voice but understood il NOT "i0
70 h was very iate and the merry party was about
at day-break. 'A""sonehtS u staft
~, lay Maria. | said, in a, stately manner as
apens hnt was very unkind and very ungen
my regiment" ~' ~
80 Son." she replied. raising her eyes brimful
d Tears to mine why gof The Christmas merry
ear. you may be heart whole or happy"
"Never-I must go,' said coldly.
Harry" she replied meekly. do not go. Your
ather, brothers. sisters, will all blame me. You
we're to stay until Twelfth day"
II cannot endure this torture-it is too much"
,ried.
Harry, Harry. stay for my sake-or rather
Il will not allow it. My departure ID irrevocably
ixed@
Infatuated boy!" she said. and turned away TO