The Lambertville press., 1859-10-20
How I Courted Sal.

Well, you see arter the "poker scrape, me
and Sal got along middlin well for some time,
till made up my mind to bring things to a he'd,
for loved her harder and harder every day, and
had an idea that she had sneakin kindness
for me, but how to do the thing up rite, pestered
me orful. got some love books and red how
the fellers got down on their marrar bones and
talked like parrots, and the gals they would go
into sort Of trance, and then how they would
gently fall into the feller's arms, but some how
or other that way didn't suit my notion ]
asked marin how dad courted her, but she. sed
that it had been so long that she had forgot all
about it. Oncle Joe alters says marin done all
the courtin, AT last I made up my mind to
go it blind, for thisthing fairly consuming my
nnerds. So goes over to her daddys, and
when 1 got there / sot like fool thinkin how
to begin. Sal sed something was troubling me,
and sez she: M
"Ain't you sick, Peter 2"
+" Yes--no," sez that is / amt adzactly
well. | thought I'd come over to-nigh," sez I.
That's q mighty putty beginning, anyhow,
thinks /; as / tried agin.
g Sal, - seq I, and about this time felt nifty
fainty and Uneasy like about the squerinctum.
"Whot r" sez Sal.
:" Sal" sez agin.
"Whot," sez she.
I'll get to it arter awhile at this lick" thinks
I.
Peter sez she, there's sumthin troublin
you powerful, I no it's mighty rong for you
to keep it from body, for an innerd sorror is a
consuming fire"
She said this, she did, the deer, sly creetor-
she noed what was the matter all the time nifty
well, and was just tryin to fish it out but / was
so far gone Ididn'tsee the pint. Atlast kinder
sorter gulped down the lump that was rising in
my throat and sez [
" Sal, doesyou luv emmy body 2" g
"WeI," sez she, "thar's dad and marin, and
(countin on her fingers all the time with her
eyes sorter shut, like feller shootin off gun)
and thar's old Pide (that were an old COW of
hern) | can't think Of anybody else js now," sez
she M
3 Now this war orful for q feller ded in love; SO
arter awhile tries another shute.
i SeZ /: ~ scg
/" Sal, I'm powerful lonesome at hum, and /
sometimes think if only had a nice putty wife
to love and to talk to, and to move and have
my being with, should be a tremendous feler. !"
With that she begins and named over all the
girls, in five miles Of thar, and never wunst cum
nigh naimin of herself, and said orter to get
one of them. This sorter got up my dander, SO
hitched my cheer up close to hern, and shet
my eyes, tremulously sed ga
" SAL you are the very gal I've been banker
ing arter for a long time. love you all over,
from the soul Of your he'd to the crown of your
foot, and I don't keer., who knows it; and eff
you say SO, wen be jned together in the holy
bons of matrimony, epluribus unuih, world with
out end, amen" sez l. and felt like I'd throwed
up an alygatur I felt so relieved. With that
she fetched sorter scream, and arter a little
while sez, sez she:
Petern
'1What, sally?n sez T.
"Yesl" sez she, hidin w her putty face be-
hind her hands. You may depend on it, | felt
orful good.
"Glory, glory . sez |. II must holler, Sal,
or I'll bust wide open. Hooray for hooray. I
can jump over a ten rale fence. can butt
bull off the bridge, and can do everything that
any other fellow could, would, should, or orter
do ~ a $50
With that I sorter sloshed myself down by
her, and clinched the bargain with q kiss. and
such kiss talk about your shugur-ta talk about
your .merlassis-talk about your blackberry jam
You could not have got me to come nigh them,
they would all tasted sour arter that.
o, these wimmen how good and how bad, how
high and how low they make a feller feel; eff