The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1859-02-09
Seeing through ones Nose.

Seeing through ones Nose.
had been shut up all day in the tav-
ern of the little town of B, did not
know how to while away the time, and az
Irving says, twas terribly hipped." There
was not soul to talk with but the land
lord, prosy gentleman in squeaking boots.
My wife had gone to take her tea at the
parsons; wretch that l was, why did ]
not go with her,
waded through the Farmers Almanac
and tried to laugh at the three dull jokes
on the FIRST page. I pored over a dirty
newspaper, and racked my brain to find
out what the letters at the bottom of the
advertisements meant. I smoked four
cigars and nipped brandy toddy: 1
thought it full ten o'clock, and looked at
my watch it was but half past eight.
death ~ said l, "what shall do 2"
could not think Of going to bed; the
genus pula, or common flea, had badgered
me all the night before. In despair, l rose
and paced the floor.
"Time kill me-" calculated "would
that could kill time"
glared around nervously; my eye fell
upon show bill posted in one corner of
the room. l wonder l had not seen it
before there it was in staring capitals.
Scientific Lectures at the Town Hail."
written at the bottom with red chalk, 'ad-
mittance 12I cents" In any other state
of mind, would not have given scien-
tifc lecture moments thought, now it
was a god.send-I went.
When I entered the hall, the lecturer,
a large man with bushy whiskers, COM
menced an experiment. "To convince the
audience that they heard with the teeth,
and not with the ear, as is commonly sup
posed" He had an ingenious way to
prove this. He held in his hand watch.
Calling to him one of the spectators, he
asked him to stop his ears so tightly that
no sound could enter.-Next he requested
him to hold the watch in his mouth by
pressing his lips closely against the case.
Now" said he, "do you hear the
ticking 2"
The man replied by shaking his head.
"Now," continued the lecturer, hold
the watch in your teeth instead of your
lips; do you hear it ?"
The man, with tone of surprise, re.
piled he did
While this was passing fellow, lit
tie overcome with the ardent, had annoyed
the lecturer very much by his loud re-
marks; l afterwards learned that he had
kept up a running comm ent during the
whole Of the evening. He now shouted
out
"O,-, why don't you say we see
with our noses2"
The lecturer slowly turned to him, say
ing in peculiarly bland manner
a. was about to introduce an expert.
ment to that very thing. Will you please
to step upon the platform where the audi
ence can see you, air. Now, sir, have the
goodness to be seated in that chair. Sit
as firmly as possible. Take hold of the
arms, if you please. Now, l tell you be-
forehand, that this experiment is rather
painful, but if you have a mind to try it,
shut yonr eyes closely"
Go ahead, old hoss, you can't bluff
me of. You needn't think you are a.
going to scare me out of it. l should Just
like to have you make me see with my
nose. You can't do any such thing, you
know you can't" said our noisy friend.
"Close your eyes as tight as you can,
then" said the operator. "Can you see
anything2"
"No."
WELL" said the scientific gentleman,
drawing back his fist and striking such a
powerful blow upon the nasal protuberance
OF the victim, that it sprawled him upon
the floor; you see stars now3"
expected to see general fight ensue,
but the joke was tso good. The poor fel-
low, whe, it seems, was wag himself, saw
it in an instant. Slowly gathering him.
self up, he exclaimed
THANK God, it's no worse, as the man
said when he broke both his legs. Won't
you step out and smile2"
q. II