The Bedford gazette. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1805-current, 1859-06-17
lFrom Porter's Spirit of the Times.l
HOW OLD IKE WAS CURED OF L0VIN'
WIMMIN.

| DEAR SPIRIT In one OF my rambles among
the mountains of Pennsylvania, | made the
acquaintance of one of the old hunters of thai
region, and some few years after, was IN compa-
ny with him, hunting on the Eastern, or Blue
Ridge, some twenty odd miles distance west o.
| Carlisle.
''lsaac Cassin' "Old Ike," as he was mos!
bgeneraily called, had, for forty years, lived in
bthe woods. Privation and exposure had not
< asleYed his looks, nor soured bis disposition
j'fIe was haE featured, but kind hearted.
We had been encamped on the Ridge for
some days, and, although with only pretty fair
luck in hunting, were we'll pleased with what
we had. There were five of US in all, and you
may, therefore, well believe, that, where SO
many were in one camp, there would be no
lack OF ''yarning" in the evenings. Our camp
did not differ, in the extent of ''yarn business,p
from other camps, and avery aight was
entertained with some Renaissance of the past,
such as hunters talk about, that is, of fin, fur,
feathers, and fun. In lieu of an account of
our success in hunting, Ipropose to give you
some OF the ''yarns" of the camp, and to begin
with, show Old Ike was cured of lovin'
Wimmin."
"Talkin' 'bout courtin'," said sold Ike"
''talkln' bout courtin' put me in mind OF old
times, aud how / war cured ov lovin' wimmn
war young then, an the weather hadn't spilled
my perty. You needn't laf, Jerry, 'kase
what | say ar true to the handle. | war a
perfec' hoss 'mong the gals then, an nary one
on 'em but-used TO spread Thar feathers afore
me, an try 10 'taCh me TO 'em but it war no
90 war 50 all fired skeery 'bout tangIing
myself. For long time, you see, war feer'd
to pay much 'tention to eny on 'em, an, tho |
war neerIy Dustin to hug 'em, an liked to be
with EN- | couldn't bring my mind up to more'n
keep thar compn'y. Well, you see ] used TO
think oy 'em most all night, an after while,
gin to look like a shadder. | war in low,
true as natur, with one oY 'em, and sometimes
used to court her more'n a little. She war a
perfec' beauty, with dark har an black ewes,
an the sweetestes lips an the periestest teeth,
an the pertieStest gownd-all red, 'cept the
yaller stripes, an they war little the yallerest-
est you ever did see. Oh I'll be dod rotted
et she warn't angel But thar war a mother
ga thar, who war mighty much 10 low with
me but | coudn' give her no comfort, 'kase |
eoulda't bear her, no how, for she war long
-- ~, si..all, ,ns-faseyi critter. what
war SO cuSsed ugly, her dad COULDN'T Keep the
bark on his shanty, an the nabors war feer'd
for her 10 cum 10 their houses, 'kase, eff she
look'd inter barrel OF vinegar, 1t war sure to
turn inter ackerfortlS, an that war no use in
that country, 'cept to make bad wblskey.-
Well ,you see, this ugly gal, just out'en trariness
an TO spite my prospects,, must SO ior 20 iall
in low with me, an | war teer'd amost.to go to
see the the gal ov'd 'kase red-head mought
do some devilment, an' SO, you see, got to be
a a'most shadder thinkIn' on it. ,Whareyer l
went, thar war redhead couldn't 60 no war,
but she war thar, an war my tIck'Iar cusS.
'.One day, had been up the mount'in, an
run out'en powder, an had to go down TO ole
Jake Hollan's store for some, an Just as | got
inter the door, seed red-head COMM What
war 10 do couldn't go back, 'kase then I'd
meet heT-I'd Just as soon meet the devil an
| couldn'. hide, 'kase thar war no place 10 hide
in. I asked ole Jake ef thar war any hldin'
place bout there, sior thar comes that old red
headed cuss right down hyar, an ef don't git
some place TO hide in, she'll be the death ov me
sure sNo indeed,' said old Jake, sno place
hyar 10 hide in you ad better take to the
woods Ivouldn't have her in by ar for a thou
san dollars she'd be my ruination. Take to
the woods. couldn't take TO the woods She
war right in the way, an thar she war comm
mad as thunder her har flying, the freckles
on her face big as hens eggs, an red as her
bar, she war SO pizen mad. No bonnet, no
shoes, no stockings ; her gownl so short and so
ragged, it peer'd like it war on'y made for a
lly-ntt an bout halt an acre OF Jake'S buck
wheat bein' spilled every time she put her foot
down. Thar she war comm, an | couldn't
STAN il any longer. jest broke fo1 the woods
on two-for.y trot ; but it war no use. She
headed me off, an made for the road, an down
The road worse nor quarter boss. 1t war no
use she war gainln' on me, an less than two
minits, would oe right 'long-side. fNeck or
nothing more steam ole hoss,' said, 'or she'll
ketch up to YOU piled on the rosin, poured
lie on the fire, showed in the wood, an raised
The steam till my biler war ready TO bust but
it war no use that short gound didn't stop her
runnin.' no how. The faster she runned, the
higher the ole fy-net raised, till she looked like
a runnn' umbrelar. She war gainin' sure
Down the road billed, and she billed after an
when cum TO the turn Of the road, thar war the
gal ! loved stanin' in her door lookin' up the
road at the dust, and thinkin' hurricane war a
conin.' | seed she war skeer'd, an war bout
10 shut the door, an eff she did, know'd | war
a goner so piled on more steam, an made
for the fence. 1t war pale fence, as runn'd
all round the house. My gal seed me comm
and she seed red-head a comm, too, so she jist
held the door part open for me to git in. Up
to the fence cum, an at one jump, war over
it, an, the next jump, l war IN the house, an
the door shet an bolted. My gal stanin' at
at the door, an dozen more nice gals stanin'
round, am all ov 'em latin to kill, an thar
war ma rirht in the middle oy sem cate and
sound, but pantrn' worse nor any steam-engin.
All the gals were lookin' at me, an the more
they looked, the more they af'd. | war tired