The Tiffin weekly tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1859-1868, 1859-09-09

] NV Mlut WIS u W. ~
"Why, was showing him the Martyrs
thrown into Che lionsl aud was tsiKha
| Vcrt solcmnlY b. him, trying 70 fhakeh him
lcei whHt a terrible thing Il vas. qfgg
said BE all at ones 90, ma isss look AZ
that poor little lion way behind thcrsA-shs
wont eet any 2 I"
a gfhnd iaror, hating applied q lCho
! judge to be excused from serving, on aes
count of deafness, tho Judge said:
"Could you not hear my ohasgc 70 ths
jury, sir ?"
"Yess I heard yoaf h0nor's eharaeg
said the Juror, "hut I couldn't make any
sense Of it," He was excused.
a schoolboY Of atvut six yeurs Of are,
approached the master with 4 bold look
and selGcOn6dcnt air, una the f9lesita
dialogue cnsucds
"May I be dismissed, sir y"
what reason have yos fof making fhs
request, Thosnas - H07
'IwNnt 10 take my Wotnan oct ileigh.
I ing sird'
When iso wall ike hsh when t
is scaled.
Feshsist rAovrsB.-LOvo me- Iogo ny
-rrinoliuel
The lady who knit her brow hes com.
mcnoed pair Of socks
Why IL thc letter u the eayest ofiEke
alphabet Because Il Is always IN fun.
Who were the first astrologersl The
stars, bceaoso thcy first studded tlrc hesy-
ems.
The poor fellow who couldn't hold he
own, has been arrested for taking anoth-
ere. 1i r.o,
~ live By my penn said a vulgar auth
or TO a lady--fYou look, sir, a. if fou
ought TO live IN a pen" wo
II may sound like paradox. vet ths
breaking Of an army's wings Is a pretty
sure way to make Il ny.
"Whers shall I put ihis paper 80 as 70
be sure of seeing Il tomorrow J" inquired
Mary Jane Of her brcshcr Charles. "On
the looking-gluss" was the prompt reply.
Mr.. snub perceived that the milk ho
was pouring into his eofTc-eup was none
Of the richest On thig no said to his
hostesB;
"Hayn't You any milk Chat is a little
moro cheerful than this ~ '"
"What do you mean by that ii'h'as %
"Why, this milk seems overpowefed
with the blues" .F
A home without girl In IL is only hdlf
blessedi il ip an orchard without blossoms,
and spring without a song, A house
full Of sons Is like Lebanon with Ia &c.
darsi but daughters by the fireside are Hke
the Roses Of Sharon. fn1
A letter from Pixies Poak, says that
gambling and whisky-drinking flourish
there extensively. Tangiefoot whisky
sells for twenty-five cents drink and 10
will almost make a man shed his toe
nails" fI.r
THE LosT DARLrN'.-Not long .al1'gl., "a
man in search Of a child w6g hailed i,y, a
ponderous Hibernian, who thrust his half.
naked frame through the window OF a d.
lapidated three-story wooden building
I"ls Il a shild ye want :" ayes. % aAbout
three years owldl" oYes.p sHas he
fair hair, blue eyes, red stocklnes am
lsmoke-colored gaitersn "Yes.n "Had
he plain dress and white straw hat on
limp ayes yes is he up there with
you'll" "Ah, no, sir, but / saw his mother
while ago lookin' for the darlin'."
A country newspaper, recording the
running down Of COW on the railway.
said, "it was cut into calves.n An aston-
ishcd naturalist waited on the editor, for
what tho auctoneers call "fdrther inf0r.
nation and received Il in the following
lorml "Euatum---for oalves,E halSes.h
MUsr BRrSs rftn GfRLs.-AThe young
men Of the city Of Fpn du Lac have q de-
batting club, and in order TO secure the at.
tendance Of the ladies, whose presence
might materially contribute 70 the pros
perity Of the Association, Tecently adopt
ed the following rulei
"Rosolved, That any taember who shall
attend our meeting hereafter, nnaeconpa-
MED by at least one lady, shall be fined
one peek Of apples for the use and bene-
lit Of the Association"
LWatcrtown (Wis) Dtmocrsk
A WHE IN TRouBtEr--l.psay.. N ma,
my dear, what is the cause Of those tcnfsiS
"Of such disgrace ! have obehsabns
OF your letters, supposing Il was address.
ed 20 myself Certainly It looked more
ike Mrs than Mr." us that aiii What
harm can there be for a wife 10 Spe6 Bgr
husbands letters ~ "But the contents
Such disgrace !" aWhat has any one
dared TO write me a letter unit for my
wife 10 read g. "oh, no. IL Is couehed
IN the most chaste language But the
disgrace w Tho husband eagerly caught
up the letter, and commenced readins the
epistle that had been the means 81 Sesr-
y breaking his Wife's heart. ReaSsr.
you oohldn't guess the cause in an age
10 iras no other thGH a biH from ute prSne
er for q t'oo years subscriPtioai
Jim H., out west, tells good asory
about a "shell-bark' lawyer. His client
was up on two small eharges--i'ffivoious
charges" as "shell barkS designated thcra
--(foFginR q note Of hand and stealing a
horse.) On running his eye over the iu-
~, he didn't like their looks, 90 Ne pie
pared an affidavit for continuanee, s6iiinq
forth tho absence in Alabama Of a princi-
pal witness. lie read Il in whisper "a
the prisoner, who, shaking hls head, spid;
Squire can't swear TO that 'ar docty-
ment." "Why - AKasc Il haiht tguepi
Ola khcll inflated and expIoaod loud
enonghto be heard throughout ibs room,
"WhRt forge a note an ste0l f,oss, an
can't swear to a lie Hang such infsr.
nal fools" And ho len Considerations
man 70 bis fate.
ELECTION AND tErkobAIio6, The 9TH
or day q democratic "sch0ol hidllaf7s at
kirkoragillei (wa didn't suppose eha6 thars
were any Of that Kind 10 Ohio,l raa ~.
structing q class In abreFauohs. Comiaf
70 the word Rep, he asked what b te1
iori The question proved b le . lu8er;
nobody answered Wen, said od- Dem.
ocEalic teacher, Mr.. s. s.. Cox was eleoisd
e be our Rep, now can you toll mo what
Rep, stands for! One of iho boy bright