The Cadiz Democratic sentinel. [volume] (Cadiz, Ohio) 1854-1864, 1859-05-18

-" eHN -" ny hHNt ANINtN -
ter, the gentleman should weigh his sugges-
tons more carefully before communicating them
TO the public.
Remembering that "nlals c]oasortia Jono' mores
ingainaaL." II.
For the Csdiz Sen'inel
Quite an exciting scene cant off in our usu-
ally quiet village a few days since, which came
near proving tragical to a portion of the bel
l~igerents, and which we will style the bate Of
the Laundress and Esculapius. The circum-
stances were as follows: The building occupied
by the Laundress was on the line of the lot Of
ESculapius, and it was necessary to get upon his
premises to whitewash the end of the house,
which she was about % DO. To this Esculapius
and his amiable spouse, very seriously objected.
The reason assigned by the good natured spouse
was, that the reflection Of the sun from the bright
surface would injure her eyes, and she become
permanently blind. But the doughty laundreSs
was not thus to be thwarted in her darling pur-
pose Of seeing her house all whitewaShed. So
with brush in hand, a stiff upper lip, and elias
tic step, she crosses the "Rubicon" and does not
like Caesar, "pauSe upon the brink, - and invades
those domains, hitherto the abode ofPeace, har-
mony and domestic felicity. She has scarce com
menced her work, when forth rushes the knight
of the Spatula and his spouse, like two fierce
demons on mischief intent. They halt TO sur
Vrar tbpip aptonDnist ap1 xriIb tho military in
stinct Of a Napoleon, their eyes glance over the
position and means OF defence of the enemy.
A sudden idea seems to flash across the m ind
Of madame Esculapius. She disappears in the
kitchen for a moment, and reappears, armed
with a wash-ba which she quickly fills at
the ever ready pump. and noiseless,,y advances
until within reach, when she dashes it upon the
corpuIent and unreSisting enemy, and rushes to
the pump for more ammunition with which to
repeat the onslaught. But now reinforcement
arrives on the side Of the weaker party. The
daughter OF the laundress as her faithful esquire
armed with crock full Of the hydrophatic ele-
ment, to protect her maternal relative, and takes
a raking position on the pavement. And now
they stand like two hostile armies drawn up in
battle array. Within the lot, the redoubtable
knight Of the plaster and pill box, with a huge
quid Of the vile weed in his cheek, upon which
he seems to be expanding an enormous amount
of wrath, from the rapid and emphatic motion
Of hia jaws, and the fierce squirting of amber
from his lips,-hiS mercurial spouse at his ell
bow, with her formidable bason loaded brim
full, and waiting for the signal to charge, and
the complacent laundress, coolly plying her
brush over the boards, and the sparkling and
bright esquire, on the outer plank, calmly a.
waiting the re-commencement Of hostilities.-
The ire of the mercurial Mrs. Esculapius could
not long brook the presence of the invader in
her lot, but boldly charges upon the impertura-
bic white washer, and full upon her head and
shoulders the cooling missiles fall, and chase
each other over her clothes, but alas! the az
gressor has found that war is a two handed
game, fer ere she can retreat, souse comes a
huge crock full Of the same into her face and
neck, from the hands Of the youthful esquire,
and away both post in hot haste to reload. And
thus this onslaught was again and again repeat.
ed with equal vigor on both sides, whilst the
bombaTded laundress kept steadily ply ing her
brush. The phletoric knight of the pestle and
mortar who had TINS far been merely a specta-
tor Of this hostile demonstration, finding that
water was not a sufficiently potent engine of
warfare, now enters the lists, like a true knight
Of the olden time.
The combat deepens: on We brave,
Who rush TO glory Or the grave.
Esculapius siezes the hitherto unresisting
laundress, and had she wore breeches instead of
-of-petticoats, she must have been then and
there precipitated unceremoniously over the
fence. But the fates willed otherwise. She
turns upon him and plants her digits deep into
his doctrial physiognomy, and the courageous
NJ. d, bleeding and FAINT, beats a retreat, and
the spectators interfere to stop further blood
shed. a short truce is the result. But the en-
ergetic madame Esculapius cannot long brook
%inaction. Again she charges upon the some
what discounted laundress to VIZ, nch the brush
from her, and now comes the tug Of war. The
knight of the ruefnl countenance, has now, how
ever, turned pacifcator, with herculean strength
he separates them. Again does the indeGatiga-
bic madam +. charge upon the foe, but her now
pacific knight, knowing the power Of the laun-
dress, again separates them. In this state Of
suspended hostilities we leave the worthless, re
humble sell, to celebrate in immortal song, the
Valor of these amazonian heroines and this val
orous knight Of the vial and lancet.
CEWAATES, JR.
NAFs0nn If tba Mast prhyolert onJ ~ al,