Keowee courier. [volume] (Pickens Court House, S.C.) 1849-current, 1859-10-22
A Chapter on Women.

who eXcitcs my untcigned astonisbmeut-
alludc to the rabbit woman. She has
four chins and twelve babies She has
two dresses-a loose calico wrapper for
home wear, and black silk for 4" mcetin ="
She eats tremendously, and never goes out ;
she goes to bed with her twelve babies at
eight o'clock every evening, and calls her
husband "Pa," She is quite content to
roll lcisurely from her rocking chair in the
nursery tothe diningroom table, and thence
back again, year in and year out. She
knows nothing that 10 passing in the out
side world nor cares. She never touches q
book or newspaper, not even when she is
rocking her baby to sleep, and might.
She never troubles herself about Pa, so
long as he don't get in her way, or sit on
the twelve babies. She has particular
fondness for the child who cries the most,
aud won't so to sleep without a stick Of
candy in each fist. She has voice like
an auctioncer, and prefers cabbage to any
vegetable cXtant.
Pa" is devoted to her, i. e., he calls
her my dear, and as soon as he enters the
house, before hanging up his hat, kisses
all the twelve children immodcrately whcth-
CT dirty or clean, and inquiries tendorly af-
ter her health keeps her stupid on full
diet, and tirts desperately, at safe dis
tancc, behind her back.
Secondly, there is the prim woman, with
her mouth always in u pretended state to
whistle who crosses over when she sees
a man coming, aud tosscs up the end of
her shawl when she sits down, lest she
should crease it; who keeps her parasol in
several layers of tissue paper when not on
duty; puts her two shoes or the window
sill =" to air. every night, aud suggests
moro indelicacy by constantly running
away from it, than she could ever find by
the most Jealous search.
Thirdly, there is your butterfly woman,
who, provided her wings are gay and gau-
~, is not particular where she alights.-
Who cannot exist out of the sunbcams,
and breads Il rainy day like an old gown.
Who values her male acquaintance accor-
ding to their capabilities for trotting her
to balls, operas and parties, and giving her
rings and bouquets. Who spoils all the
good looks she has trying to make herself
look better" and turns into n very ordn-
AIRY caterpillar after marriage.
Fourthly, there is your library woman,
stepped in foIios; stepped in languages,
both living aud dead; stecpcd in ologics,
stepped in politics; who walks around a
baby as if it were a rattlesnakc, and if she
was born with u heart, never has found it
out.
Nfthly there is your female vipcr--your
cat-your hycna, All claws nails and
tongue. Wiry. bloodless, snnppy. narrow,
vindictivc; tapping up your life, blood with
her ISLANDERS, and clnwing out your warm,
!, pal lpitating heart Out ou her
-SiXthly, there is your woman--pretty
or plain, it matters not; lady like 10y ma.
turc; /; intelligent, but not pcdantic; mod
est, yet not prudish; strong hearted, but
not Z" strong minded Gas that term is at
present pcrvertcd;) y no " scholar" and yet
well read no butterfly, and yet bright and
gay. Merry without noise, silent without
stupieity, religious without tanaticism, ca
pable of an opinion, and yet able to hold
her tongue. Ii married, not of necessity
sinking into mere machine; if unmarri
ed occupying herself with other things
than husband hunting. Liking books, yet
not dcspising needles and brooms, genial,
unaffected, good natured with an active
brain, and II live heart under lock and key.
God bless her. wherever she is, for she re.
deems all the rest.
FANNY FERN.