Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1859-12-08
abit an6 NulHsr.

HARD SUBJEcT.-An old Soaker who
lives in Weston Missouri, took it ito his head
one day, and very sensibly too, that it was a.
bout time Tor him to be considering bis prob
able future condition, and forthwith repaired
to the Rev. Mr.. b, the respected pas
tor OF the Baptist denomination of the town
| aforesaid, to obtain Sght. He was received
with nrbanity, and forthwith the following
dialogue eusued ::
Old SITS your doctrine, boss, that fel-
Ter to be saved must suffer immcrshun, isn't
lit?
Mr.. B--Yes, Mr.. s., it is a fundameu-
tai doctrine OF our church, that man, 10 be
regenerated must repent Of his sins, and bc
immersed
Old Swell, boss after repentiu ov
his sins and being slid under, If he flashes u
the pan then what2
Mr.. B--Although backsliding is much
to be deplored, still if he sincerely repents Of
his sins and is again immersed, tho church will
receive him again.
Old SWELL, suppose he again kicks
out the traces after the second time, flor you
know what critters their air in this world boss)
then what's to pay?
Mr.. Notwithstanding all this if he
will seriously repent, and soIemnly promise
to amend his future life, the church will again
receive him into its bosom, after being i'm
mersed.
Old S, latter a few moments Of deep thought
proposes the following intcrrogatory)-
boss, wouldn't it be a blasted good idea to
keep such iellers in soak all the time2
Our informant did not say whether old s.,
joined the church or not but we incline to the
opinion that If he did, the chances were pref
ty good for his being kept in soak all the
time.
A plain old gentleman went with his team
to bring home his two sons, two young sprigs
who were soon expected TO g-acu cuate While
returning, they stopped at hotel in one Of
our country towns for dinner. The landlord,
struck with the dashing appearance of the
two gentlemen, made himself very oficious,
while he took the old man from his homespun
appearance, to be nothing but driver, and
asked them if they wished the driver to sit at
the table with them. "Well, Dick" said the
youngster aside to his brother, "as he is our
father, and it's his team, and he will bear the
expense, | think we had better let him cal
with u.s." Yes, / think so, too, under the
circumstances" he replied. "Ycs, landlord,
you can give him apace at the table"
Acting upon the text he often quoted that
marriage WAS folly at any period Of life,
and that no matter when you married you
) would find afterward that you had married
another person, the Bard of Memory remain
ed till death a scoptic Of the bliss Of matri-
mony.
Free as the air he lived aud died,
And left no heir behind him"
A traveller says that if he were asked to de-
scribe the first sensation Of camel-ride, he
would say: Take music-stool, aud having
wound it up as high as 1t would 20, put it in
a cart without springs, get on top, and next
drive the cart tranversely across ploughed
field and you will then form some notion of
the terror and uncertainty you would expert
eEce the first time you mounted a camel"
"LaudlDrd,' said pedagogue somewhat
given to strong libatons, 81 would like q
quantum Of spirits, a modcum Of molasses,
IN conjunction with a little water-but deal
largely with spirits, thou man Of mixtures
Smith, the other day, while looking at tho
skeleton OF donkey, and admiring and won
deiing at the structure of that despised ami
NAL made very n,aiadrou quotation. ',Ah,"
said he, "me are fearfully and wonderfully
made"
couple of wild girls have been arrested
in C-----for induging in the amusements
of breaking their neighbors' windows. They
no doubt thought with Pope-"1Is woman's
part to case man of his ps,.es."
When DR.. Lucas, very popular man.
veniured on speech in the Irish Parliament
and failed altogether, Grattan said, "He rose
without friend, and sat down without an
enemy"
A boy was asked, one day. what made
him so dirty, and his reply was: ~ am made
20 they tell me, Of the dust Of the earth, and
| reckon it's working out.
Mr.. Jones writes TO friend, and closes by
saying, 81 am glad 10 be able to say that my
wife is recovering slowly"