Meigs County telegraph. [volume] (Pomeroy [Ohio]) 1848-1859, 1859-08-30
Git-8its.

of them could write his name.
EyAh English paper in giving an ac.
count Of fire says: "rhs is the third
time the same row of buildings has been
consumed"
EyA very good kind of woman often
spois herself in trying to become man.
The best woman in the world is female
woman--all others are as sounding brass.
wWe learn from the Catholic "Tele-
graph" of last week, that Matt Ward. the
killer of Butler, the school-teacher, in Lou
isville, has recently been received into the
Catholic Church.
A SLOW RoAD-Sptaking Of a "terra-
pin tain," on a Georgia railroad, an en-
thusias,ic traveller remarked: II, is the
cheapest road in the Unite'l States-you
can ride on it all day for a dollar"
Eg-"Never put off till tomorrow what
you can do to-day" said an advising
mother to her child. "Well. then, mamma,
let us eat the cranberry pie, that is in the
safe," was the child's precocous reply.
"Ma, here's a word in the paper l
want to know. What is homicide?" "a
homicide, child, is one who murders an
other. Well, Ma, when Jack Nobb killed
our tom Cat, that was Tommycide wasn't
it?"
w"Molher, said little boy the
other-day, "why are orphans the happiest
children on earth?" "They are not. my
child. Why do you ask that question:"
Because they have no mothers to spank
'em."
~A green 'un. who had never before
seen steamboat, fell through the hatch
way down into the hold of the Winfield
Scott, and being unhurt, loudly expressed
his surprise" Well if the darned thing
aint holier."
PRESERVING JELLIEs FROM Mould
Cover the surface one fourth of an inch
deep with fine pulverized loaf-sugar.--
When thus protected, the jellies will keep
for years in good condition and free from
mouldiness.
H-"Molly," said Joe Kelley's ghost
to his wife, "I'm in purgatory at present" 4"
says he. "And what sort ola place is it?"
"Faix, it is sort of half way house be-
tween you and Heaven, and stand it very
aisy after laving you"
GE- Tom Corwir said in his Fourth of
July speech at the Tippecanoe Battle
Ground:
If l was Emperor, the tongue of the
n;e,,o;on;eto oborld ha forn ont ond bis
dry bones made TO rattle in the wind.
H-"There are some members of a
community" said the sagacous and witty
Thomas Bradbury, "that are like a crumb
in the throat; if they 60 the right woy they
afford but little nourishmept; but if they
go the wrong way they give great deal
oftrouble."
~"sammy, my dear boy, what are
you crying for?"
"Bill hove the Bible at nae, and hit me
on the hand"
"Well, you are the first person in my
family on whom the Bible ever made the
slightest impression"
GFWestern editor apoIogized to his
readers somewhat after this fashion:
"We intended to have had death and
marriage to publish this week, but vo-
lent storm prevented the wedding. and the
doctor being taken sick himself, the patient
recovered, and we are accordingly cheated
out of both"
EY An Irishman, who had lain SICK a
long time, was met one day by the parish
priest, when the following conversation
took place: "Wel, Patrick, l an glad
you have recovered-but we're YOU not
afraid to meet your God?" "Och no
your riverence, it was the other chap |
was afraid NV" replied Pat.
wThere is vast amount of grit in
the "wimmen folk" when they undertake
anything. An amusing incident was wit
messed at the Depot of the Great Western
Railway, day or two since, An old lady
was running after, and making vigorous
efforts to catch the express train, which
was fully quarter of mile ahead of her.
@A schoolboy of about six years of
age. approached the master with bold
look and self-con6dent air, and the follow
ing dialogue ensued:
"May be dismissed, sr?"
"What reason have you for making the
request. Thomas?''
Il want to take my woman out sleigh
ing, sir.'
EEA certain lawyer had his portrait
taken in his favorite misunderstanding
with his hands in his pocket. His friends
and clients all went to see it, and every
body exclaimed:
30, how like? it's the picture of him."
An old farmer only dissented.
"Taint like?" exclaimed everybody,
'.just show us wherein faint like?'
'Taint-no 'tain," responded the far
mer "don't you ste his hands in his own
pocket? 'Twould be as like again if he
had it in somebody else's.'
PUBLIC SpEAKINa.-A writer in the
New Orleans "Chrstian Advocate" says:
"rhe most effective man, for his talents
that | know in the country, is the most
simple natural speaker. He stands calmly