The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1859-06-01
MISCELLANEOUS.
Neglected Wives.

Neglected Wives.
Our readers have frequently been favored
with the. perusal Of letters written by "a
Disbanded Volunteer" correspondent of
the Ny. SUNDAY TIMES. We this week
present.one that is admirable not only in its
photographed puns, its profound philoso-
phy, its sympathy for the injured mertals
who have truant husbands and above all for
is side-splitting humor:
SAINT NIcxALAs HorrEL, May u, 1859.
Eldyturs Of the Sunday Times
a marrid lady heving airnestly reckwest-
ed my vews on the subjcck of marrid men
gon. to clubs and lodges, and carryin mite
KEGS, wunst more sees my pen to state
wot think, in my opinyin, ort to be the
barring of husbands towards thar wives,
hopin to fetch the felines of all catterwaulin
Benny Dicks as skoots around arter dark,
by afew morril remarks on her unhappy
tale. She ses, in . billy now lyin before
ies&SluS wi.~Aa z lsov- evrvi reason to bleve
vorashis, that her spows blongs to so menny
sosities that he mought as we'll not belong
to her at all. He taks his mornin meal to
hum, and that's the last of him, she ses, on
til midnite or arter, wen he Gums back
smellin tiagrantly of mereshams and Bore
bone wisky, and, without givin her kiss
or skweedge, turns in with his back to
her, and sleeps like log till the breckfust
bell rings. My correspondent remarks that
this aint the kinder usidge she bargaind fur,
and wants to know if think its a decent
way to behave to yung and buck some
wife. Sartainly not. Nobody, she allows,
could be more ardent in his attcnshins than
he was doorin the hunny moon wen he spent
evry eyenin to hum, but senst he took to
stayin out mites he seems like an altered
man. She concloods by akin wot she can
do to brake him of his bad habits and bring
him back to the dummestick sirkle of witch
ne wus wunst the ornynent.
The case of this poor abandond feemale
is not solentary wun by considabul
crowd. Clubs is onfavorabul to connewbil
bliss, and marrid man hes no more biz
ness with EN-, than Samson he'd with his
|coconut in the lap of Dayllee. For man
to play a club agen his wifes hart is darn
ed mean game; and the husband as prefers
goin TO lodge with the Odd-Fellers to soin
hum to lodge with his lorful bedfeller de-
sarves, in the langwidge of Longfeller, T
think it must be Longfeller, bekase hees
the poick Of Injun life,) to be sent to "a
lodge in sum vast wilderness, whar thars
nuthin but boundless consangwinity of
shade"
l skarsly know wot advice to Civ my fair
queerest and uthers in setch predickyment
Eff the LEGISLATOR was settin it mought be a
good plan to petishin fur lor agin admit
tin marrid men inter priyit organizashins,
without thar wives consent, same as thar is
agen lettin emmy yung men under foreteen
inter the thcayturs without thar gardens.
But socin as that August boldly doosent
meet agen til January, the wimmen must
resort to perswaysive meShurs in the intrim
The three-legged-stool and gardin-rake sis
TEN, hes been tride and proved onsuckses-
full Gettin inter mans har oney raises
his dander. Eff a husband is onreesanabul,
thars better ways than that of cuttin his
comb for him. / reckymend neglected.
wives to get up secret assOseashins of their
own. Union is strenth. Why shoodent
they hev>club-rums, and play ut poker and
billyards, as well as thar conjugial pardners.
Eff a dizzypated husband, on arrivin at his
dummysill at A. NJ, was infornt by the
Biddy that Mrs. So-and-So was out atten-
din meetin Of the Darters of Malta, or the
Marrid Rites Club, or the F. o. f.. of NJ. A.
N. Society, heed purity soon begin to onder-
stand wot a'clock it was, reckin Or she
mought send fur wun of her old bows to sit
up with her fur perteckshin ontil he cum in.
IF this last menshind medicin diddent wurk,
the case mought be considerd oncurabul
but line inclined to think that the stray
sheep would prefer goin back to the fold
at the proper time, to hevin his vakant
place filled by mebbee wulf in sleeps
clothin.
Failin in the abuv tretsment, don't know
of emmy uther speeches of morrill, swayshin
as would be likely to melt his obderate hart.
Highstrikes is played out; SO is doggin hus-
bands from place to place, like detectiv
perleeceman; SO is exposhir, and SO is arti-
tishal pisinin, and sendin for the doctor and
the stummick- pump. Howsever, l hev
known the wurst cases Of travellin around
to be cured by smiles, and tears, and ten
derness-and perhaps that's the rite eend
to begin at predicate from the tone Of
my correspondents letter that shoes ridin
the high horse. Possibly she mought
find it more to her advantage to dror 1t
mild.
With the deepest simperthy for all mar
rid wimmen cussed with onsatisfaetry
pardners, and correspondin content for
all husbands who neclecks thar rnarrytal
duties,
rename, yours allus,