Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1859-10-01
The Husband who was to Mind the
House


Once on a time there was man so
surely and cross, lie never thought his
wife did anything right in the house. SO,
one evening in hay making time, he came
home scolding and swearing. and show.
ilg his teeth and making dust.
Dear love, don't be so angry, there's a
good man, said his goody, tomorrow
let's change our work. Ill go out with
the mowers and NOW, and you shall mind
the house at home
Yes ! the husband though, that would
do very weII,-he was quite willing, he
said.
So, early next morning his goody took
scythe over her neck, acd went out into
the hay field with the mowers, and began
to NOW; but the man was TO mind the
house, and do the work at home.
First Of all, he wanted 10 churn the
butter; but when he mad churned a while,
he got thirsty and went down to the eel
lar to tap barrel Of ale. So, just when
he had knocked in the bnng, and was put
ting the tap into the cask, he heard over
head The pig come into the kitchen. Then
off he ran up The cellar steps with the tap
in lis hand as fast as lie could, 10 look
after the pig lest il should dupset the churn;
but when he got up, and saw the pig had
already knocked the churn over, land stood
there ronling and grunting amongst the
cream which was ranning all over the
floor, he got so wild with rage that he
quite forgot the ale barrel and ran at the
pig as hard as he could. He caught it,
Just as it ran out Of doors land gave ii such
kick, that piggy lay for dead on the spot
Then all at once he remembered he had
the tap in his hand; but when he got
down TO the cellar, every drop of ale had
run out Of the cask
Then he went into the dairy and found
enough cream left 10 fill the chuTn again,
and so he began to churn, Cor butter they
must have at dinner. When he had churn-
ed Bit, he remembered that their milk
ing COW was sill shut up in the byre, ,and
had 1T had bit 10 eat or drop 10 drink
all the morning, though the sun was high.
Then all al once he thought twas too far
to take her down 10 the meadow, SO he d
just get her up on the house top-Ior the
house you must know, was matched with
sods, and fine crop Of grass was growing
there. Now their house lay close up
against steep down, and he thought if
he had lard plank across 10 the thalch al
the back he'd easily got the cow up.
But still he couldn't leave The churn, for
there was his little babe crawling aboUl
on the floor, and If leave it, he thought,
the child is sure TO upset It, So he took
the churn on his back, and went out with
it; but then he thought he'd better first
water the COW before he turned her out
on the thatch-so lie took up bucket TO
draw water out of the well, but as he
stopped down at the wells brink, all the
cream ran out Of the churn over his shoul
Iers and so down into the well.
Now il was near dinner time, and he
hadn't even got the butter yel-so he
thought he'd best boil the porridge, and
he filled the pot with waller and hung it
over the fire. When he had done that he
thought the COW might perhaps fall off
the thatch and break her legs or her neck.
So he got up on the house 10 tie her up.
One end Of the rope he made fast TO the
cows neck and the other he slipped down
the chimney and tied round his own thigh
and he had to make haste, for the wa
ter now began TO boil in the pot, and he
had still 10 GRIND the oatmeal.
SO he began 10 grind away, but while
he was hard at it, down fell the COW of
the house-top after all, and as she fell, she
dragged !he man up the chimney by the
rope. There he stuck fast, and as for the
COW, she hung half way down the wall,
swinging between heaven and earth, for
she could neither ge, down nor up.
And now the goody had waited seven
lengths and seven breadIhs for her hus-
band to come and call her home TO dinner,
but never call they had. At last, she
thought she'd waited long enough, and
went home. But when she got there and
saw the COW hanging IN such all ugly
place, she ran up and cut the rope in two
with the scythe. But as she did this,
down came her husband out of the chin
ney-and so when his wife came inside
the kitchen, there she found him standing
on his head in the porridge pot.-NorSe
Tales.
How to get Happy.