davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The weekly Portage sentinel. [volume] (Ravenna, Ohio) 1854-1861, 1859-04-07
"OG Nit His Head"

A breathless, excited individual, (ssys 8
late number OF the San Francisco "Morning
Call,'O rushed into the police Office yester.
day and inquired for the chief. -...
"What do you want with him !" inquired
an attending officer.
81 wants." said he, with Teutonic &C.
cent, 81 wants Elm baper to kill tam tog vot
pites me in te leg"
"Ah, you wish an order of execution issu-
ed against 1iciohs canine" said the off.
Ger.
"No, tussant want no such ding. wants
baper to tell me to kill te tam bup. He
pites mine leg so pad, got tie hydrophope.
and will kill him or goes mad too"
"Ah, now I see," said the impsssve TEN.
perament, "you require authority to proceed
with force Of arms against the dangerous ami.
NAL"
"Ter tuyvel, no-dat ish not vot wants.
/ wants to ieaf to give me license to kill te
tog. wants him to make me baper SO ven
kills tie tog he can Ditcht go inter to bolice
court and swear against me-"
"The dog :" ..
"Nein-not te tog-te man vot owns te
tog. You see If kill him"
"What, the man %
"Nein-te tog. Und te man sues me fo,
tie brice OF te tog, den wants to law on mein
side, dyer see :"
ooh, yes" said the officer, who was quiet.
y chuckling at the caution evnced by the
German, and intent on exhausting his pa.
tieRce,s "then you want to get q warrant tc
arrest the man who owns the dog, SO the
animal may not again attack you."
thousand tuyvels no, you gets everything
by te tail" cried lager beer, who began tt
think the officer was quiSzng him. 81 iinl
you wants to make chokes of me. Tunde
and bitten p! wants shustice, no chokes
l wants to cut te tam tog's head off, and i
shustce no give me te baper, cuts his keat
off anyhow"
And the lover OF sourkrout started to leave
tho ha but meeting the "jeaf OF bolice,
at the door, he conversed with him in tht
German dialect, made known his wants, sn,
received an order to execute The vicious ani
nal.
As he WIS going out he met the impass;ve
officer.
Gall right !" he inquired.
"Ynh, all right. go straight to de own
er of te tog ond kills him."
"What, the owner :"
"No, tie toy. You make one tam fool O
yourself py saying tog ven mean man, on
ven means man, you say tog. Now yo
go to ter tuyvel !" and the German ncon
tinently hdrfIed away to mete out vengeap n c.
TO the animal who had crossed him in hi
GLORIOUS path"
The weekly Portage sentinel. [volume] (Ravenna, Ohio) 1854-1861, 1859-04-07
YItc Girls Of t578.


The following has been rescued from a
newspaper published at the revolution :
"The following droll affair lately happen!
ed at Kinderhook, New York. A young fell
low, an inveterate enemy to the liberties Of
America going to quilting frolic. where
. number Of young women were collected,
and the only man in the company, began his
sspersions on Congress. as usual, and held
forth some time on the subject, I'LL the girls.
axasperated at his impudence, iaid hold oI
him, stripped him naked to the waist, and in.
stead Of tat, covered him with molasses, anG
for festhers took the downy tops Of flape
which grew in the meadow, and cea,ed him
we'll and then let him 60. He has prose.
cuted every one Of them, and the matter has
been tried before Justice Schoonmaker.-
We.have not &c yet heard his wofship's judg.
ment. II is said that Parsou Buel's dauek
ter 10 Gohcerhdd III the dffair." III
The weekly Portage sentinel. [volume] (Ravenna, Ohio) 1854-1861, 1859-04-07
Joking a Railroad Conductor.

No class in the community have to bear
the expense of more jokes and "good Ones"
than railroad conductors. The Buffalo E.r.
press is responsible for the following, related
of one who once belonged 10 the profession,
and who is known in this locality:
One Of the cleverest fellows in the world
isl. Good hunor ltrks in every fea.
ture OF his broad, jovial looking counte enance.
When he laughs, it commences somewhere
in the region of his waist, and it creeps up.
ward, shaking his sides, till it gets into his
face, where it draws thousand wrinkles,
and sets them TO dancing and twitchng about
80 furnily that his eyes fairly close them.
selves, unable to endure the sight. j
was railroad conductor once, and held the
position a good many years, during which
time he made host of friends and o suug
little pile of money.
= has q son, bright'eyed little boy
Of not quite dozen summers regular
chip Of the old Block, and, to use an expires.
sion more familiar than elegant, "as smart
as a steel trap" This little rogue his faith.
er sometimes takes to the theatre, where he
sits and criticises tie performance with ah
much gravity and more discretion than hall
the professional critics. OF course, the boy
likes to 60, and naturally enough feels on
inclination that way occasionally when his
father is not disposed to indulge him. 81
one evening he walked into the box. office
and very coolIy asked F., who then reign.
ed as Treasurer, for pass TO the theatre
As every body knows, F. loves Ills jokes
so he set himself cut TO quiz the little fel
low.
~ can't afford to give you pass" salt
he, "your father ia rich enough to buy you
ticket"
"No, he isn't," replied the boy "he ha
paid out all bis money lately"
"What for ~
go, he has just bought an elevator"
"Indeed," said F., "and how much di
nc Fay for 1t !!
"a hundred thotsand dollars," Responded
the boy.
"Why, where did he get 60 much mon
ey"
"Saved it en- the railroad, to be sure"
"You don't mean to soy your father save
hundred thousand dollars al rdilroaaihg i
cried F..
"Of course he did," said the boy yer,
positively; II should think he might--h
.cas Conductor fifteen gears ?"
"F--- gave him a psss without any fur
ther question, thinking the joke on the faith
er cheap at the price. He bided his time
and when he caught J. with an audienc
"fit though few" he turned the conve-aatio
on children. Now, j brags on his bo,
and at the first opportunity commenced tel
ing Of his smart sayings, and other qualities
tions. Then F. told this story, an
when the laugh came in, no one enjoyed
more than did J. himself. He frequent
ly hears of that hundred thousand dollars.
The weekly Portage sentinel. [volume] (Ravenna, Ohio) 1854-1861, 1859-04-07
Morality and GeaEiAs.

We see it gravey stated in popular Me.
tropolilan journal that "true genius goes
hand in hand, necessarily, with morality"
The statement is not startling novel one.
1t has been made, probably about sixty thou.
sand times before. But it is untrue and
foolish. We wish genius and morality were
affectonate companions, but it is q fact that
they are often bitter enemies. They don't
necessarily coalesce any more than oil and
water do. Innumerable instances may be
readily produced in support OF this propos.
ton. Nobody doubts that Sheridan had
genius; yet he was sad dog. Mr.. Byron,
the author of Childe Harold "and other po-
ems,". was man of genius, we think, yet
Mr.. Byron was fearfully fast man. Edgar
A. Poe wrote magnificent poetry and mojes.
tic prose. but he was III private life hardly
the man for small and select tea parties.--
We fancy Sir Richard Steele was q man Of
genius, but he got disreputably drunk and
didn't pay his debts. Swift had genius--an
immense lot of it--yet Swift was a cold
blooded, pitiless, bad man. The catalogue
might be spun out to any length but it were
useless to do it. We don't mean to inli'
mate that men of genius must necessarily
be sots and spendthrilss--we merely speak
OF the fact that very many of them have beer
both, and in some instances much worse thar
both. Still we can't we'll see [though some
think they CAM how the pleasure and in
struc.ion people derive from reading tn,
productions of these great lights is diminish
ed because their morals were "lavishly
loose" They might have written bette
had their private lives been purer, but of thi
nobody can determine for the pretty goo
reason that nobody knows. ,-.
So with actors. We have seen peopl
stay from the theater because Mrs. Grund,
ssid the star of the evening invariably retir
ed to his couch in state of extreme inebri
ETY.. If fthe star is afflicted with weakness
Of this kind we may regret it. We ma!
| pity, censure the star. But we must stil
acknowledge the stars genius and applau
it. Hence We conclude that the chroni
weaknesses Of actors no more effect tn
question Of the propriety Of patronizing the
atrical representa- tons than the proaigacy Q
journe5mea shoernakers affects the questio
Of the proprety Of wearing boots, All 9
which is respectfully submitted Local ;
the Plain Dealer. '' s'''. -''
The weekly Portage sentinel. [volume] (Ravenna, Ohio) 1854-1861, 1859-04-07
The VOiceIcSs.

We count the broken Tyres that rest
I Where tho sweet waiting singers siumber-
But Ger their silent sisters breast
The Wild flowers who will stoop to number!
A few can touch the magic string,
And noisy fame is proud 10 win them;
Alas i0r those that never sing,
But die with all their music In themi
Nay, grleve not for the dead alone,
Vi Nh''se s,ug mas toll their heat.'s sad story
Weep Tor the V1iEeies5; WHO have known;
Tho cros. without tn. crown nfgiory
Not where VIE iikGaltan bre, COS sweep
O'er Sfpphd's memoty han"teh pillow,
Hut where tine glistcring night fews weep
On nHmciess s1trow's ehurchyard pillow.
Oh; hearts that break Gnl give no sign
Save whitening lips and fading tresscs.
7 i'll death pours out his cordial vine,
Slow drJpp'd from Misery's crushing process.
If 81 lgins breath of echoing chord
U" every hidden pang we're given,
What cnitess melodies were pourcdi
AS sad AS earth, as sweet as Heaven!
The weekly Portage sentinel. [volume] (Ravenna, Ohio) 1854-1861, 1859-04-07
Two Wrongs Make a Righs.

In the course Of conversation between
several gentle one fwhom had occasion
to quote the common saying. "two wrongs,
didn't make right" gssaee Ui .85sesrs
"Sometimes they do," interposed . seedy
looking bystander, with a nasal twang.
"they did with me once" si~,
"How was that 70 s.a,a..gs,. ssp
avail" replied the Yankee, "there was .
fellow passed onto me once dollar bin. and
il was counterfeit. Wasn't that wrong 7"
"Certuinly it was wrong il be knew i, TO-
be counterfeit" as85ia ssG9ad
"WaL expect he did; did, any ways
W hen passed IL to another chap. Meow,
wasn't that wrong r. 5sas5 II .ar;;a.se,.
wrong l--of course; very wEong.1g ie
"Waii it made me ''alI right" was the
triumphant reicinder $50 two wrongs 9oss.
make right sometimes" s.s, " nv
4,as, 1870 !, sas 81
49, - "a
The weekly Portage sentinel. [volume] (Ravenna, Ohio) 1854-1861, 1859-04-07

ECHOES ExPLAIEED.--When sound is in.
terrupted by obstacles of sufficient extent
and regularity, it is reflected, ana produces
the phenomenon cs)led the echo. A wall
the side Of a house, the ceiling, floor, ane
wall of an apartment, an arched roof viii
call forth echoes more or less audible. Il
the reflected sound meet with second OBJ
stacle, it will be again reflected and thu,
the echo may be repeated many times, be
coming fainter at every repetition till Il
dies away. w ,tsa,-.. .'o'.s :. 81 "5'F
The weekly Portage sentinel. [volume] (Ravenna, Ohio) 1854-1861, 1859-04-07
A Yankee Answer.

Awager was laid on the Yankee peculfafity
of funsw ering one question by asking another.
To decide the bet down-easter was interro.
gated. ys3 ,..'@H" 80 'r'5GT"t 's#
81 want you" said the better, ''to give
me a straight forward answer to plain
question" ri kin du it, mister" said the
Yankee. ,..--A...
"Then, why lii New Engtahders always
answer question by asking one in return
"Du they !" was Jonathan's reply.
The weekly Portage sentinel. [volume] (Ravenna, Ohio) 1854-1861, 1859-04-07

Cyan actor in Georgia; in the coGrse OF
play; kissed the wife Of brother actor
once oftener than the authorized version
of the play required, and was thereupon SO.
verely whipped BY the outraged husband,--
Having been a"Atar" before. and now being
provided withtRs ''stripes," he thinks he is
entitled to represent the Gag Of his country.
The weekly Portage sentinel. [volume] (Ravenna, Ohio) 1854-1861, 1859-04-07

HEIeHr or IMrRuDErcE.--To 60 into .
printing Office, look over the compositor's )
shoulder and read his copy. " 80 >, :.
Height Of Justice--To kick such ,rascals
down stairs without ceremony. ''' 80
The weekly Portage sentinel. [volume] (Ravenna, Ohio) 1854-1861, 1859-04-07

DEsoLATIoN Is delicate thing;
II wstka not On the earth, it not the air;
Bui rsads With silen! 70 tssp aud fins With silent
wing
The tender nopes lich hi lter beart5 tie bSs: and
Eentltst bear. ,-St;ELLEY.
The weekly Portage sentinel. [volume] (Ravenna, Ohio) 1854-1861, 1859-04-07
LcNGtELLow thus describes the grodual
C yIn Dg on OF the shadows Of twilight:

Slowly. slowly up the wall,
Steals the sunshine, steals the ttadE,
E-tnihg damps begin to fall.
Evefing shadows are displayed,
Round me, o'er me, e@ory%i.re;
The sky Is grand with clOids.
Aud alhwort the evening air
Wheel the ssslIoHs tdiiie IN crowd5.
Shafts of sunstiig tf8A lie West
Paint tie dusty &indo%s red.
Darker shadows, Deeper rest,
t Underneath and overhead,
t!dtEer, darker and more &Sh
In my breast the shadows fall;
Ubwutd steals 'te Ne Of man,
As the sunshine from the waIl,
From the wall into the sky,
From the roof along the spire;
All, the souls OF those that d;e
Are Tut sunbeams lifted higher.
The weekly Portage sentinel. [volume] (Ravenna, Ohio) 1854-1861, 1859-04-07

GTA distinguished wag about town says
that the head covering the ladies wear now
a'days, are bare faced false hoods ( The per.
petrator of this ia still at large.
The weekly Portage sentinel. [volume] (Ravenna, Ohio) 1854-1861, 1859-04-07

0arTrue wit il Ike Almay-day; ills Brit
liant; but Il searches not.
Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, Va. [W. Va.]) 1852-1859, 1859-03-04

THE nrza OF Sheppard MsrEan this day aisssivsd
BY rutnai eontrnt- The bushes OF the 6rm wiII Bs
settled By J. Sheppard Those Indebted fIra ars
RESPECTFULLY requested TO call aId tsas
having accounts against viii please presen Il Ter
attti-u-eut b. sHIPPARD
sept 10th ,le55. CHAs. MORGAN.
Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, Va. [W. Va.]) 1852-1859, 1859-03-04
incorporated 1ele-chartsr Perpetual.
Cash Capital 100000.
ABSOLUTE AND UNIMPAIREp,
WITH a SURPLUS OF $500 .3s7 IS.
Andthe prestige OF 3S yenFs and experience
ASSETS JANUARY /. 1883.

Total Liabilities; --
Unsettled claims not dus......-.3 3ITasses4
Losses EquitdJly Aajusfef and Promptly Paid.
UPWARDS OF S11,OOO,OOO
OF Losses have been paid By Insurance Co., In
the past IS ysArs.
Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, Va. [W. Va.]) 1852-1859, 1859-03-04

JEFFERSON AND MS FIDDLE-The writer OF
the Declaration of Independence was passion
ately fond of fidding, and is said to have excel
led in playing upon that instrument. In I77O
his family mansion was burnt Mr.. Jefferson
used to tell in after years, with glee, an anec-
dote connected with the fire. He was absent
from home when it occurred and slave arrived
out OF breath, to inform him Of the Disaster
After learning the general destruction he in
quircd, But were none of my books saved p
No, nassa,' was the reply, but zee sdred de
fiddle
Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, Va. [W. Va.]) 1852-1859, 1859-03-04
CHARLES VI. GRAHAM,

CHARLES W. GRAHAM
L q CESs q y + % va TANNER
THE uudersIgned would citizens OF WLrrfr
and vsini1y that having purchased tie Drug Pre-
serpt4on store, formerly oHntd Dr.. James Tsuner
VIII continue 20 carry IRE nruE b1sinrss in all iGs
branches He most respectfully coutnsshee Of
the public Patrons Uhici las soieraiIy
extended toEaT's this old ana pll known eat
VII be his am 10 keep hing, - tie Iurtst
ana At te lowest price, usIsgly found in Ell f
nisard Drug rstallshu1ent-
Prescriptions carefully ecrourded frcm The purer
GedielneB. CHARLES W GRAHAM
No &c, Eain and WctsterEts
EyN Centre WhssllEF.
Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, Va. [W. Va.]) 1852-1859, 1859-03-04

SoME desperate fellow publishes the following
in New York: "Board ard Re-
pose Wanted-In some sensible family, unin-
tested with cats. poodle dogs, canary birds,
juvenile jewsharps, miinicking old maids,
scheming widows, feminine 'hopefuls' with
match seeking mammas, or other nuisances.-
Hot dinner required on Sunday. Terms not to
exceed $50 per month. Address Comfort
Seeker Bentley Dispatch, Madison Square"
Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, Va. [W. Va.]) 1852-1859, 1859-03-04

F1IEs-A German naturalist has described
six hundred species of flies, which he has col
lected within a district OF ten miles. Thirty
thousand different kinds of insects, which prey
upon wheat, have been collected. This suggests
the mntitudnous intinitude of the total tribe.
Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, Va. [W. Va.]) 1852-1859, 1859-03-04

JUVENILE PREcosITY.-A little child Of this
city was holding very animated conversation
with one of about its own years, few days
since A portion of it was overhead, and it APP
peared to be ~ dispute as to whattheir "nothers
could do" After naming over other various
meritorious acts of which their materials were
capable the one in question put end to the
dispute by exclaiming: "Wel, there's one thing
my mother cando that yours can't-lng mother
ena tqLe erery one of her teeth out at once
Nete Hlren NeLcs.
Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, Va. [W. Va.]) 1852-1859, 1859-03-04

MYSTERIOUS YAuLT.-A correspondent of the
Cincinnati Enquirer at jackson, Ohio, gives
account of subterranean vault discovered there,
in which the air was SO impure that it was i'm
possible for any one to so into it. By means of
rake, human bones of gigantic size have been
raised, and small chain of silver, with coins
attached to each end. The coins, though much
defaccd by time, have the appearance of those
in use among the Romans in the days of Cicero
Africanus, though there were evident traces of
hierogIyphic devices that cannot be deciphered.
Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, Va. [W. Va.]) 1852-1859, 1859-03-04
sADpLEs. HARNEss. TRuNKs. e.

NANOANIAElI
WHOLESALE & RETAIL.
7 SHEPPARD. No ISL Main 81 eerrsr OF Union = IA
~ continue TO keep hand large and complete
EOrfmrut Of AL articles lis eonsisiuR nd
Gsrtensn's saddles, Zine and Coarse Harktss TTuTkG,
Nslces Carpet BaEs, safcH els, Cellars. WLIIs
Vouid respectfully call ~ stock aad tTuEt
by strict attention and ProuPtusss, eoutHuahss
OF the public patroEaEs.
All kinds Of repairing promptly dsns, sndIn Pr
manner. }. n sHEPPARn
asp10 Isl Msin St.
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1859-11-19
Fatal Acclde nj 10 BufIalo.

The Buffalo Rputl,c, Of Thursday, says OF tho
accident in that city, caused by the falling Of
the walls at the city Elevator, which have been
permitted TO stand not only In a most dangerous
titustiop, since the late ire but also In dcf sncs
fife, broken limbs ALd other accidents, incident
to such csrelessness and hcglec's. Al tho time
of The fire there was an immense quantity Of
grain In the Elevator; about $50 900 bushels a.
nearly as can be asccrtained, and apart Of this,
being more or less burned Q largo crowd Of our
poorer citizens were attracted there for the pur-
pose Of gathering up the better portion Of II, and
selling II st from TO 0 shillings por bushel.
Yesterday, as previously, crowd gathered
between the two Western walls, when, without
a moments warning, tho second wall Of the
East fol In on tho vacancy, crushing down q
number snd buryipg them beneath the ruins.
A number were also thrown into the crock, by
the falling wall, but were fortunately rescued
from their dangerous situation by the bostmen
and others In the neighborhoSd Of tho canal.
The first person taken out nom the ruins was q
Iotr WI man,who was stricken face DO INWARD into
tho grain. She was friehtful y crushed. Ihs
next was German woman, the wife Of John
Gardener, residing on Gcncsce st. Her neck was
brcksn short Oh, sod other wise horribly m sng-
led. The third taken out was the body of 4
widow named BRIDosT KuLLY, who resided on
the corner Of Michigan and Elk streets. Every
bone In her body was broken. II was supposed
that many moro were buried under the ruins,
but up 70 ten O'Clock last evening oil further
labors at removing the rubbish had ceased. AZ
no one else seems 10 be missing, Il IL reasonable
to suppose that all the bodies have been rsmov-
ell.
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1859-11-19
Ceunserfsiss 70 at Resk Island.

On Monday night posse Of officers, United
States Deputy Marshas and Others, reached this
city, says tbs Chieago Pvs, 16lh, having 10
charge three men, largely connected with the
rnauafactare OF bogus money, chiefly silver coin.
Tbeee men consthuteds nest Of coantssfeitsss
broken UP st Cosdoys, In Rock Island county,
on the Mississippi River, eighteen miles shove
Rock lIand, on stuieAy. nigh. last,
and brought themes to the City OF
iSsy ~sr. tIssssd out = 3. M sssn NE and -H Wa.S.
sHY FRAsK, Of BsADLsxs Detective Police,
Chicago, together with JAooB RInM, City
Marshal Of Chicago. The officers having got
things In proper Trim, went up from Rock
IsIMd on Saturday afternoon, TO Cordova, and
that night, after some shAfp management, sue
oesded by sharp hght, foaad their birds busy
st their bogus Y werk, and eAnght them In the
SCH taking possession q thslf entire outfit oi
toois, &sL fhs parsons arrsstsd ars TaMo-
rHr L. BionLoS, . man slxty- six ysas
old. who has family oonsistiag Of q
wife and several children. "a CHssrER @.
hon Michigan, and had BEEN Win BlaM,Sw Two
formerly ,ap:smploys On tSs II, GIN. Hsfsoad.
BIanLOw an1 CLAhso an aoo0npNshsd mersy-
sIs, and expert ooantsrabitsn 5BaoELow has
serysd term or two N the psnitsntisSy.i Thsy
had most complsts snd perfect ssk cfnolss
toois, presses, etc, and Sysything nece,sssy ID
the pn ufsetgrs fsvsry tind " Amsyicsp @ip
pf gold sld silysr, BON 5 osnts 70 170. S1ksy
he'd - hanA in.an4A nahakhad stats, sc6ne AZ,
hun6rsd Ao1iass q thar ee,d soins, and . ~ q
tkelr fry snd ,twun1ys I've osut pisssa, IL
While party With theif tools and theca6e sesans
thsm, WIN 10 bsforsfths United 6sstss Court @
the sPssdy result thai swsita It,