Burlington free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1827-1865, 1859-02-25

LEGAL ANEcDorEs.-At the Cambridge
Spring Assizes, 1888, a person was accused
Of stealing a watch from the bedroom eft Mr..
George Paynter. at Wallingham, Cambridge
shire and on the trial, the following little
conversation took place during the cross-ex-
animation of the prosecutor.
Counsel. "Where do you live ?"
Witness. "At Wallingham {; but am
not Walllngham man."
"What are you ?'
''An engineer. I was apprenticed to Hen
~ Maudesley, partner to Sir Isambert Bru-
mel of Thames Tunnel notoriety."
"Well, what else are you ?''
"Why, am gunsmith, locksmith, and
bel-hanger, iron arm and lathe maker edge
tool maker; watch and ciock-maker and
repairer mathematical instrument max
er weighing-machine, scale and steelyard
maker; knife-maker and grinder publicpn
and licensed victualer and an old-man-of-
wars man."
"Are you not conjuror as well ~
80 yes, that am and if you are willing,
will show you one or two Of my tricks"
"What can you do ~
"Well, if you will allow me, and not con-
slider am insulting, l will tell you"
"Oh. certainly 60 on"
"Then, if you will just take off yourwig,
your head, will swallow you whole, and
then you will be no more trouble to yourself,
nor to any one else"
Counsel. "You may lit down, SIR
We give another incident of more recent
date, (l656) in which the witness was a
clergyman.
Scene, a crowded court; trial, an action on
the warranty of horse, commonly called a
horse cause. Witness, a clergyman, who has
sworn in his examination in chief that in his
opinion the horse was sound.
Counsel. "Well, you don't know any
thing about horses You're parson. you
know"
Witness. 81 have a good deal of knowl-
edge respecting horses
say, but we may think otherwise. l wonder,
now, whether you know the difference be-
tween a horse and cow
Witness. "Yes, daresay l do"
Counsel. Snow, then, sir, tell the jury
the difference that exists between a horse and
cow"
Witness. Gentlemen, one great differ.
ence between these two animals is, that one
has horns and the other has not-much thu
same difference, gentlemen, that exists be-
tween bull and buHy," (turning to coun
sel) (Roars of laughter, judge joining.)
Germane to the faceta of witnesses them
selves, are laughable remarks made by judge
and counsel upon innocent answers to no les
innocent questions. At such witty replies
perhaps the greatest adept was the late excel
lent judge, Mr.. Baron Anderson. Very sci
dom, indeed, did any trial of slight or grav
importance take place before him, in whicl
ha ad Ia Oht hto
at some extraordinary remark emanating from
the judge. We do not for a moment attemp
to defend the learned baron from the charge
which have, perhaps very properly, bee
brought forward against him of doing ava
with that dignity which is SO great an orna
ment to the bench; but we consider tina
the jokes having been made. and being som
of them pretty good, we are doing no harr
in retailing them
A prisoner was once tried before the Baro
for stealing a saw, and in his defence urge
that he only took 1t IN joke,
"And pray, prisoner, how far might yo
carry it from the prosecutors house," aske
the judge.
Perhaps two miles, my lord"
"Ah, that was carrying joke good de,
too far SO the sentence of the court upo
You is" etc, etc.
Another time We recollect juryman be,
ing TO be excused from attention on the groun
OF deafness.
Why, you eau hear me speak, said h
lordship
That's true enough my lord; but have
tuln my head round very awkwardly, for al
quite deaf with one ear
"Oh then, certainly, sir, you are excused
replied the baron, with mock solemnity :
juryman undoubtedly ought to hear bo
ades -
The judge we are speaking Of had, in ge
eral, very profound dislike to scienti
witnesses especially of the medical professio
called upon to give an opinion upon the e,
dence they had heard IN court and he rare
iaiied IN proposing some curious questions
them, which eventually proved foorer.
one time he took up the assertion of AN em
nent medical practitioner, that in all cases
death by violent means, pos,-n,orte,n exar
ination would throw light upon the actu
cause Of the decease."
'And pray, sir asked the Judge, " il
were discovered lying on the highway wi
my head severed from my body, what part
ular light would post-mortem eyaminati
throw upon the cause of my death ~
correspondent OF the Poughkeepsic Da
Democrat states that "while visiting a scht
In Montreal, he asked the teacher if the
were any American children there. She sa