The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1859-01-05
OR l9liio.
II speak within bounds" as the pris-
oner said to the jaiicr. 4


= II speak within bounds" as the pris
oner said to the jaiier. .
Mosr kinds Of roots and barks are now
used as medicines, except cube root and
tie bark ola dog.
Mnros objected to have lis daughter
study languages, becaus, he said, one
tongue was full enough for woman.
WHAT weapon does young lady re-
sombIe whocs acquaintance pass her in
silence and without notice. \ cut-lass.
PRESTIGE said Of an editor, who said
he .'smet rat, that if he DID, AMI the
raesmelt him, the poor rat had the worst
Of It.
PUscH gives whole homily when it
savs-''Scandal is q yisiter who never
calls without bringing her work with
her."
SHE isn't all my fancy painted her."
bitterly exclaimed rejected lover, "and
worse than that, she isn't that what she
paints herself.
AN old sailor, Mt the theatre, said he
supposed that dancing girls wore their
dresses at hali-mast as a mark of respect
to departed mo!osty.
s.You look" said an Irishman to q
pale, haggard smoker, 'as if you had got
out of your grave to light your cigar, and
couldn't find yoar way back again"
A WOMAN will tcl,rate tobacco smoke
in man she loves-and even say she
likes it; and yet strangely enough, how
she dislikes it in q man sha dislikes.
WALLER says of a pretty girls girlie;
"A narrow compass, and yet there -.
Dwelt all that's good, and ali that's fair;
Give Ise but What this ribbon bound,
Take all the rest the sun goes round"
Amoxc the prominent benevolent OBJ
iects OF the day, we preeejve to call for
tho formation ola society for the anchor
alton of the condition OF woman With
snoring husbands. .
AN Irishman hearing Of another who
was hundred years old, said, contemptu-
ously, ''Pshaw Why, il my grandfather
was alive, he would now be hundred
and fifty years old
doctor. what do you think is the
cause of this frequent rash Of blood to
my head Z" oh. it Is nothing but an eff
fort Of Nature. Nature, you know a6-
kors a r0cas.a1,
Il md Dauiol Webster put up at the
same tavern last night said rough
looking fellow. lit must have been q
house of accommodations for man and
beast" replied = I.ystandor.
An freshman who had blistered his
fingers by endcavoring to draw on pair
of boots exclaimed
II shall never be able to get them on
at ali until wear them a day or Two.
Sco1r said of these foar lines by
Burns, that they siere worth thousand
romances:
Had We never loved sae kindly
Had We never loved sac blindly--
Never rnet--or never parted
We had ne er seen broken-hearted.
Judge Jeiiries, Of notorious memory,
pointing with A;s cane to q man who
VAS about to be tried, said: There is q
rogue at the end ofmy cane, The man
to whom he pointed looking at him,asked
AT which eud my lordi
A man VT ON DR.. johnson once repro
we'd for following 3 useless and aemoral-
ling business, said in excuse, - ssY on
know. Doctor, that l must live" The
brave old hater of every thing mean and
hateful replied ccolly that he ''did not
see the least necessity for that"
Arr you s}jllful mechanic Z" Eyes,
sir.r ,.What can YOU make!" "Oh, al
most ANYTHING in my line" Scan you
make tley,ll" 'sCertainly, Just put Up
your foo and wills .litit in three seconds
/ never saw chap in my life that requir-
ed less alteration.
al don't see as snything is the matter
with this plum pudding, said fellow at
Thanksgiving dinner.
"Well, who said there wasi" growled
cut his neighbor.
.sWhv," said the first, II concluded
there was, you all seem to be running it
down.
Parson Twiss of New Hampshire had
lust married lady whose christian name
was Desire, and it being in his course Of
remark on a certain Sabbath to illustrate
the difference bsiseen the renewed and
unrenewed man III the exercise of love. be
delivered himself 10 the amusement OF bis
audience, in this vay--ssFormerly I bad
TO desire to lore. but nov have s Dc
sire 10 love, and ] love freely.