The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1859-03-02
SPLINTERS AND FAG-ENDS,
Couldn't Find it Out.

Mr. Slocum was not educated in a Uni.
versty-perhaps he was none the worse
for that-and his life has been in by-paths
and out of the way places. His mind is
characterised by the literalness rather than
the comprehensive grasp. of great subjects.
Mr.. Slocum can, however, master prin-
ted paragraph by dint of spelling the
hard words in u deliberate manner, and
manage to get few glimpaes of men and
things from his little rocky farm, through
the medium of a newspaper, 1t is quite
edifyipg to hear Mr.. Slocum reading the
village paper aloud to his wife after
hard days work. A few evenings since
farmer Slocum was reading An account
Of dreadful accident which had happen.
ed in the factory in the next town, and
which the village editor had described in
great many words. b..
II declare, wife, that was an awful
accident over to the mills" said Mr.. slo-
cum.
"What was it about Mr.. Slocum."
"I'll read the count, wife, and then
you Il know all about it
Mr.. S. began to read:
" Horrible and Fatal Accldent.-It
becomes our melancholy and painful duty
to record the particulars Of an accident
that occurred at the lower MILL in this
village yesterday afternoon, by which a
human being in the prime Of life was hur-
ried to that bourne, from which, as the
immortal Shakespeare says, mo traveller
returns"
)"Du tell !" exclaimed Mrs. 8. Mr..
David Jones,a workman who had but few
superiors this side of the city was superin-
tending one of the large drums ("I won.
der if it was brass drum, such as has
Eblubust Unum printed ont" said Mrs.
Slocum J, when he became entangled.
His arm was drawn around the drum, and
finally his whole body was drawn over the
shaft at fearful rate. When his situa.
ton was discovered, he had revolved with
immense velocity about fifteen minutes.
his head and limbs striking large beam
distinct blow at each revolution. ("Well
didn't it kill him ?" asked Mrs. s., with
increasing interest y portions of durmata
cerebrum, and cerebelum in confused
masses, were scattered about the floor
in short the gates of eternity had opened
upon him."
Hero Mr.. Socum paused to wipe his
spectacles, and the wife seized the oppor.
tunity to press the question.
WAS the man killed ?"
81 don't know-haven't come to that
place yet-you'll know when I've finished
the piece" And Mr. Slocum continued
reading.
" 1t was evident when the shapeless
form was taken down, that it was no Ion.
ger tenanted by the immortal spirit-that
the vital spark was extinct
"Was the man killed. that's what ]
want to come at" said Mrs. Slocum.
"Do have a little patience old woman, ;
said Mr.. Slocum, cycling his better.hal
over his spectacles az presume we shall
come to it right away" And he went OF
reading; This fatal casualty has cast {
gloom over our village, and we trust tina
it will prove warning to all persons whc
are called upon to regulate the powerful
machinery Of our mills"
NOW" said Mrs. Slocum, perceivin,
that the narration was ended, "now ]
should like to know whether the man wa,
killed or not"
Mr.. Slocum looked puzzled. H
scratched his head, scrutinizing the articl
he had been perusing and took graceful
survey of the paper.
II declare Wife" said he, /" its curiou
but really the paper don't say.-Buriing
To-, lp:..,,s