The national era. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1847-1860, 1859-07-21
WASHINGTON, D. c.
For the National Era.--[Coryrghi securedl
THE SHAM R0CK;
OR,
RFCOLLECTIONS OF IRELAND.
BY SLOW JAMIE.
CHAPTER XII
Coutship and Marriage.

Coutship and Marriage.
Among a people so excitable and fanciful as
the Irish, it might be supposed that love alone
would regulate their marriages; yet in few
Christian countries were they more matter of
bargain and sale. This arose from two causes
the one happy, the other unfortunate.
The first was the eXten, of parental author
ity and influence. In happy America, where
the blessing of liberty is enjoyed by at least all
the white inhabitants, the inhuence of the Gov
eminent is felt in every department of society
and every relation of life. The discipline of
the school is mider, the condition of a ser
want more independent, and parental restraint
- vp.oy. Dnt weak man is disposed to carry
everything to an extreme; and when we see
the boy, scarcely tanned Of his teens, swagger-
ing about with the cigar between his teeth,
aud talking about the old man and the old
trOmdH We cannot but think that it is demoe-
racy run mad. On the other hand i'm the old
country, the influence of monarchieal institu-
tons was felt in the family. The patelaaI au-
9 thOriiy might be an absolute monarchy, or
constitutional one but at all events, without
dispute every man was king in his own house
The second cause was the utter impossibility,
In ordinary cases, of securing a competence,
without capital to start on. The old adage
Marry for love. and work for riches" was
sometimes repeated but another, when hun
ger comes in at the door, love flies out by the
window" received far more credence. And,
indeed, if a girl married below her rank, she
might make up her mind, either to live all her
days in poverty, or emigrate to America.
If young man married a girl without a for
tune, he could hardly expect any degree of in
dustry and economy to supply the deficiency.
Hence, among all but the very poorest classes,
it was as common to take elderly man along
to make the match, as to put the question. 1t
was his business, while the sutton talked with
his sweetheart, to stipulate with the old folks
the amount of the marriage portion. This was
expected to bear some proportion to the Young
mans patrimony. If he lived at a distance
men we're often sent 10 look at his property,
and their report made, or broke, the match,
An elderly gentleman once told me that he had
often been sent On such missions, and reported
as frequently against them as for them In
some cases, the girl said she would take the
young man at all events. and the parents Weld
ed. But generally the girl submitted, not with
out hard struggle, 10 the decision of her su-
periors. In one instance, the young woman was
so much chagrined. that she soon after married
old man above seventy. NV informant
said he sorry for what he had done,
when he saw the sprightly girl of twenty-five
standing up beside an old man trembling with
age. But" he added. 4" he soon died, and
1..,l - l. IL L
man."
Wherever there is bargaining, of course
there will be business for sharpers; and many
are the tricks resorted to for cheating the APP
praisers. A lame old bachelor was showing
his property to the friends of young and likely
girl, who lived at "A considerable distance.
Several servants were coming to him, asking,
What will | do? What will | do, master 2"
To one he said, $50 and finish the drain :"
to another, Attend to these gentlemen's hor-
ses," &c. Along comes an old woman, and
says, "Gentlemen it is none of my business,
but hate to see a poor girl deceived The
one half of what you see here does not belong
to this man. This horse belongs to Jack
Moore Them two fine cows are Tom Dick
sons. He owns that old horse and two cows,
and he keeps one servant; all the rest is bor-
rowed."
but it was not so easy, when their suspicion
was aroused, Ia keep them from going and
making the proper inquiry. When they did
so, they found her story true. The match was
knocked on the head. and We will readily sup
pose the girl was not sorry for it,
When young man went counting, he gen
orally avowed his purpose by taking black
foot with him. The latter had social chat
with the old folks in the kitchen, while his
friend talked with the lady in the parlor To
the blackloot it also belonged to speak good
word for the sutton. After tea, they all left the
table except the blackioot and the girl, when
he embraced the opportunity to recommend his
friend. | heard Of one instance in which the
girl invited the advocate to speak for himself
instead of his friend: nor did he fail to i'm
prove the hint, and married the girl. Indeed,
| think such an event that might not be I'M
usual and it seems TO me, that if | were very
anxious to succeed, | would like to select very
homely man for my blacSfoot.
have an impression that counting was very
formal and constrained in those times. ] say
L have that impression, for ] do not know.
But when my father returned, in 1924, from his
first trip To America, among the thousand and
one questions they asked him about the New
World, one was, how they courted there. He
said, they sat down by table, talked blethers,
(nOnSense,) and looked at pictures. From this
II would appear that they made an attempt
probably feeble one to talk sense in Ireland.
l remember, too, that when my mother rallied
our school-teacher about getting married, and
charged him with being too hard to please, he
excused himself Oh the plea that he did not
know how to court. L have heard, too, an
anecdote of young man, who, in company with
his sweetheart, went right straight ahead in the
conversation, without any embarrassment, for
long time. Al length he came all at once to
dead halt. Now" said she, with more wit
than courtesy advise you to turn q leaf
limiting that he was repeating what he had
learned out of a book.
The common intercourse of young people,
however, was as free as their special converse
ton was stiff and formal. Nor was this strange,
tor IT 1t was not expected that the young man
would make advances, or the young woman
give encouragement, except according to due
form, and with the knowledge and consent of
their parents, there would be no improperly
In freedom which, in our country, on the part
OF the female at least, would be considered i'm
prudent. 1t is often the first thing foreigners
notice, when they come to this country, the diff
hdence young women manifest in the company
OF young people OF the opposite sex. Nor are
'he IRISH girls long IN assuming the same re-
serve, when they find that their sociable man
ners are so apt to be misunderstood.
Opportunities for social intercourse, too, were
frequent. Among the poorer class, females
worked much out of doors. To them il fell to
weed flax and potatoes, to pull the fax, and
to herd the cows and sheep. The farms were
small, and neighbors often conversed together
while each labored in their own fields. Nor
were they so eager on business, but that thew
often stopped their work to finish the chat
The custom of the young and old meeting