Holmes County Republican. [volume] (Millersburg, Holmes County, Ohio) 1856-1865, 1859-11-03
Mistellaneons.
From the New York Mercury.
THE SCHOOL MARIN.
BIZ COUSIN MAY cARIEros.

BIZ COUSIN MAY CARLETON.
10 81 never nursed dear gazelle
To glad me with its soft black eye,
But when it came to know me well.
Aad love me, it was sure TO die.
l Ipever had piece of bread
Particularly wide,
But that it fell upon the floor
Upon the buttered side"
Moons. ALTERED.
disappointment is the lot of all man.
kind Old Mr.. Ferule used to set me
that for copy long ago; but little did |
think when l wrote it in Struggling pot
hooks, each letter reeling as though in,oxi-
icated, that dorothy Diddle-would
sit here this rainy morning, with rouge on
my cheeks and tears in my eyes, deploring
the fate which has left me a broken-heart
ed, sharp-nosed old maid. All! what a
melancholy fate it is to 60 through life a
solitary spinster splashing your affections
on a miserable cousumptive tabby eat, like
a droopisg dandeIion alone and uncared
for. What l have endured l will never
reveal; but when / die, my last request
will be to place on my tombstone, "Died
from an overdose of Cowcabbage"
Yes per6dious Nicodcmus, The world
sLall know how basely you treated me-
Didn't / encourage you in every way; did
not I wear the boquets of poppies and mar
igolds you nsed to bring me, in my hair;
didn't / put in my false teeth, and
put on clean apron every evening to
receive. you; did ever frown when you
walked into the abest room" with your
muddy cow-hide boots on; didn't ! nearly
ruin The family making donuts for you to
eat; didn't l dye for you when my hair
vas tnrning gray, and yet you deserted me,
YOU horrid red-headed, freckle-faced bean
pole! you ugly slab sided-but there, its
no use getting into q passion.
As I told you somewhere before, | am.
alas! an old maid. Af least, fippant
bread-and- butter children of twenty cail
ue 60, though the world very well knows
I'm but thirty-fve, which age I've been
for the last seven years and intend to be
for at least seven more! II any sensible
enan who reads this prefers q wife who has
arrived at the years of discretion, and is
above flirting and gadding with brainless,
moustached young apes, just address line
to Miss Dorothy Diddle, spinster, Frog
pond.
There was time when 1 had hoped to
to have written my name, Mrs. Nicodemus
Hateful Cowcabbage; but ah, me! l can
not dwell on the narrowing recollection
Drop . tear Of sympathy and passion.
Nicodemus Hateful Cowcabbage, when
ist knew him, was tall, overgrown,
gawky youth of forty or thereabouts, with
= complexion somewhere between brim-
stone and brick red. His hair was rather
showy, being of g brilliant orange; and as
it always was quite innocent of comb or
brush, stuck up all over bis bead, each par
ticular hair brisiIing as if conscious of its
own importance, until his knowiedge-box
looked like q garden full of bean poles.--
Indeed when l first beheld Nicodemus
Hateful Cowcabbage mistook him for Q
broom with the brush uppermost. His
mouth was particularly fascinating, there
being good deal of il, and it always lay
vide open to catch any scraps OF wisdom
that might be going. But flies and birds,
and other such 'noxus insex,p sometimes
took IN impertinent of this peculiarity by
iying down his throat, and meeting the
doom they deserved by never being heard
OF more, On one occasion this audacity
nearly proved fatal; for swallow mis,ak-
ing the yawning chasm for its nest, flew
triumphanily in, and came near choking
Mr.. Cowcabbage. His eyes were, nc
doubt, equally handsome, but being hid
away deep in the recesses Of his stupen
dous brain, mortal eye never beheld