The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1859-11-16
English Political SQuibbing.
FROM THE LONDON PUNCH.
Punch's Imaginary Correspondence.

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$50 BS
Panch'S Imaginary Correspondence.
Fiscouat z almerstoa to Lord John Russcil
BRoADLASBs, September ..
s'. ify Dear john Having alttle time upon my
hands, 4 cannot, | think, do better than falfl an
Intention which have iorsome time entertained,
and address to youa iewwordsof advice, which I
am as sure that you need as that you will take IT
in good part. Our long intimacy, the similarity
and intensity Of our political convictions, besides
my having a year or two.s advantage ms it is
amusingly called over you in age, will be my cx-
cnse for this course, if any excuse be needed
s. With the sanction of my Sovereign, my dear.
John, have placed you in situation of great re-
sponsibty. It's situation which myself filed
for many years, aud history rather than myself
shalltsay how. ! assure you, my dear John, that
it will give me the most sincere pleasure to recog
snize in you worthy successor to myself; andthat
have, in the afternoon of life, that qualification,
lis one Of the main reasons, and possibly selfish
one, torsmy now taking yousin hand.
Ny task would bel easier one, my dear John,
but for your extreme ignorance. Do not recoilat
the word, Or, as you sit in your library, glance in
dignantly round books, most of them larger than
yourself, which you have laborously read, sedu-
lonsly Analysed, and disgracefuily disfgured with
your profound marginal notes. | will do you no
injustice. ] believe that the Oxford Examiners
would do you some did they pluck you for short
|eomings in history. Lam sure that you know per-
married the daughter of the Emperor Charles the
Fifth; that Lousthe Fourteenth declared the Gal.
tlican Church independent in 1852; that Lord Chat
ham,as Mr.. Pitt, supported the Board Bottom Min
istry, and that Mr. Wberforces bill for abolishing
the slave trade was rejected by the House of Lords
in 1904. Pray my dear John, do not suppose that
accuse. You of being ignorant Of knowing myriads
of things the knowledge Of which is entirely USE
less. i should be most reluctant to put myself in
the position Of the Blind Beggar of Bethnal Green
with you, and drop my factand datel as he dropped
money against his daughters lovers) against your
tact aud date Ishould be bankrupt in no time. 3
But, my dear John, yourignorance1iso fanother
and more serious kind. You do not know men,
and, what is gilmore consequence, you donot know
women. Youreally amuse me (orwould do SO, If
/ could be amused at the nisfortunes ofmy be-
loved country When see you in society attempt
- = = ri. -.
ing to gain the confidence of the former or the
goodwill ofthc latter. Believe me, may dear John,
mo highly yirtuous youth from dissenting College,
with Dwights Theology on his table as his prize
for an Essay on Predestination, could emore con-
vinced that he was the eighth wonder of the world
or more certain to be at the best wonder, whose
extinguishnient the p,orerb fixes at the ninth day.
Iwish, my dear John, that could make you man
Of the world. s
Let me instance for moment a case or two in
point, md you will forgive me when you observe
how ntently and afIectionately 4 must have
watched you At a party your own house, few
evenings before the termination Of the session, you
may remember that D'AzegEo came up to you,
and, aftcr5a cgrimace or So which you did not very
happily initiate, he asked you whetheryou had sent
off a certain dispatch. What be wanted to know,
of course, was whether had seen it, aud you nat-
.uss,lly wished him to think | had not. What was
your foolish answers GN bon checal q pas 6csix
d'eperoa, with half.toss ofyour head. He did not
wantto spur you; he wanted to know a fact and
your pert little answer wss act evssive only char
acteristic. Why did you net say point FLANK that
you had sent it. You know quite we'll that you
had not, SO no hasrn could have been done. Why
not, my dcar John, be frank and naturai9 Those
dusty little sayings which youshoard up, because
yoa can pronounce them glibly, are really out Of
date. IA
e WELL then, at Lady palmers.on's assembly, the
nextnig a ladyasked you question, ard in.
tended tobe, but it VAS not sihly put nor is the
asker silly womeu. She had no businessto ash i
when has a woman any business to ask the thing:
she does? But she certainly get sillier answer
and ii was intended for a wise one. You must ou
with another Of your oyerbs sUae femme ne cell
lsque &c q,teilene SAT- pas Ny dear John, il Wal
livery pedantic, and almost rude. Why on eartl
did you not explain to the woman confidential,
ANYTHING chat. came into your head, AID send he
away pleased with your confidence and utterl!
mystified9 Asitis, wait till You want her to keel
young Gabbleton in town for a division.
g Now, my dear John, consider what have'said
and, in your dealings with the world, try to be4
little more man Of the world. You hare industr,
and patience and certain amount Of brains, whicl
10 the brother Of the Duke Of B., may be Gale,
talent, and youmighti do q good deal for yoursel
lif YOU would not be old-fashoned land pedantc, ant
would have a little more boahomie--there's
French wcrd for you, as a sugsar-plam TO sweeteI
| the nittsrs.
a need hardly caution yoa to keep this lette
to yourself, and burn ID when read.
! J" Always, my dear John, yours faithfully,
3 PALAERsrox.
Tie Lord John Russell" Il
1 Lord John Rassd 10 Fsscouat Polnaersto,
1RrcHMosD, September. 90.
a1Hg Depr Lord--I am favored with yonr lprt