Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1859-12-24
PLEASURES OF SKATING.

The editor of the Mil,cauIic Nccs has been
a skating, and has given us detailed account
of his experience, which may be interesting as
well as profitable to new beginners, and we
therefore reproduce it:
Right beneath our windows, from morn till
midnight, we see youngsters and oldsters twist
ing their legs into all conceivable shapes, ska
ting up and down the river, merry as lambs.
We cannot pick up paper, but an article on
"skating" meets our eye Everybody says it's
fun, and that's all Everybody" knows about it,
for we have tried it. Last night, about gas
light time, after reading glowing description
OF life on skates, we prepared for our first at
tempt, and sailed forth to join the merry crowd.
We had on pair of stoga boots, trousers legs
tucked inside, a robert-tailed coat and white hat.
We went down on the'ice, and gave q boy two
shllings in good coin of the realm, for the use
of hisimpements. We have confidence even as
great as Peters faith We, with the assistance of
friend, fixed on the skates, and stood erect like
BARRIERS pole. Encouraged by the sight of
some ladies on the bridge looking at the skaters,
we struck out. A slant to the right with the
right foot-a slant to the left with the left foot
and just then we saw something on the ice,
and stopped over to pick it up! On our feet
again-two slants to the right and one to the
left, accompanied with a loss of confidence.
Another stride with the right foot, and we sat
down with fearful rapidity, and very little if any
elegance! What set-down it was, for we made
dent in the ice not unlike Connecticut but
ter-bowl! Just then one of the ladies remark
ed-"Oh, look, Mary. that feller with the white
hat amt got his skeets on the right place |"
Ditto, thought we. Just then a ragged little
devil sang cut as he glided past us--"Hello, old
timber tegSr" and we arose suddenly and put
after him. Three slides to the right-two to
the left, and away went our legs-one to the
east, the other west, causing an immense fissure
in our pants, and another picture of butter
tray in the cold-oh! ho,o cold-ice! Then the
lady-we know she was one by the remark she
made-again spoke and said-"Oh, look, Mary;
that chap with white hat has sat down on his
handkerchief to keep from taking cold" We
rose about as gracefully as a saw horse, when
Mary said-'guess faint handkerchief, Jane"
and Mary was right 1t want handker-
chief-not bit of it, Just then friend came
along, and proflered us his coat-tail as "stead-
ier." We accepted the continuation of his gar
ment, and up the river went about ten rods,
when shy to the right by the leader, caused US
the wheel-horse, to scoot off on a tangent, heels
up! But the ice is rery cold, this season
We tried it again. A glide one way-a glide
and half the other, when "uhack' came our
bump of philoprogenitivenes on the ice, and
we saw million of stars dancing around our
eyes, like ballet girls at the Bowery Theatre.
How that shock went through our system, and
up and down our spinal column. Lightning
couldn't have corkscrewed it down a creased
sapling, with greater speed nor more exhiler-
ating effect. Boarding house butter nor war
ranty deed, could have struck stronger, than we
did--and dozen ladies looking at us--and our
"fssured" pants.
"Hallo, old cock" sang out that ragged imp
again, and we there helpless! Soon we got up
and made another trial, with better success
Perhaps we had skated in our peculiar style,
fifteen feet, when laundering chap came up
behind, and we sat down with our tired head
pillowed in his lap-and he swearing at us, when
it was all his fault! How cold the ice was there
too Every spot where we made our debut or
the ice-oh how cold it was Our bear ski,
drawers, were no protection, at all b! We tried
again. for the papers all say it's fun, and down
came our Roman-grecian nose, on the cold iuler
material, and the little drops of crimson ran
, down our shirt bosom, and on to the cold ice
Once more we tried skating-made for the shore
sat down and counted damages. Two shil
lings in cash, thrown away. Seven lateral anG
one ''fronteraF' bumps ON ice. One immense
' tssure, III as handsome pair of ten dollar cas-
= simeres as man ever put his legs in One
r rupture in the knee, extending to the bone
-Four buttons from our vest, "fragmented'
= watch crystal, and a back ache, big enough tt
| divide among the children of Israel. If yor
catch us on the smooth, glossy, chilly, freezing
e treacherous, deceitful, slippery, and slip-upper,
p ice again, you'll know it! If any one ever hear
' of our skating again they will please draw OF
: us at sight, for the bivalves and accompanying
!, documents. We have got through skating
n It's humbug, It's vexation of spirit, Q