The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1859-10-08
Phunuygrnphs.

TuE Mas WHO LOWS MS Friluw Min
The king OF the Conubul Islands.
RATHER FMGlrN. N.-0ur friend Jocosc de-.
fines hlghty woman to be au abscOudug
wife.
Brother Amiuaduh, a still Quaker, on re-
cciying from worldly man q bioN on b.,
face, turned the other CHECK, 60 which o sim
liar salute was applied. Friend said a.
minadab.' Scripture injunction being now sat.
sied, will proceed 10 administer To- thee a
little wholesome correction and be did.
\ pomologica friend Of ours informs Us
that since q receulryrut up town, hc has lost
his partially tor the Sichlcs pair. The colo
mel, who haS.btcu obliged to visit the dentist
lately, wishes to know 1t the Curious and pre-
carious teeth which he has inherited from hi,
fathers family might Dee called patcrual ach-
crs.-New } oyk POST -
On the marriage day of country Scotch
lass, the youth who was about to be united
said TO her in triumphant tone, wcol, Jcu-
ny, haven't | been uncoo cccyil " alluGiug to
the fact that during their whole courtship he
had never even given her u kiss. Her quiet
reply was, 'Ou, ayi man, scnsclcssly cccNll.'
Trerct, a Frcnchman, was carried away
from his home by the people of Paris, nt two
in the morning. and imprisoned ~ The lias-
tile. After an imprisonment OF several weeks,
he inquired OF an officer, will you have the
goodness to tell ne for what crime ann shut
up in this place? p The officer cooly replied,
Il think you have great deal of curiosity
An oldsh and somcwhot purblihd gentle
man, pacing up and down the upper saloon
of an elegant steamboat, stopped in front of
large iull-lcngth mirror and after gazing
AZ the figure presented for a moment or two,
INQUIRED, in very deliberate tone 'ls--your
-namc-Brown !? No answer. Question
repeated 'Is-yopr-namc-Br Cues
ton again repeated louder still: 'Is-your-
nnnie-Brown I? Still no answer Well
said the qucstioner you are no gentleman,
or very deafH The saloon was in u roar.
The other day, u lady fell off the Brooklyn
boat into the East riveri poor frishman
eprang over aud rescued her When she
was safe on deck again, her husband, who
bad been "A calm spectator of the accident,
handed the brave fellow n shilling. Upon
some of the bystandcrs expressing ndignn-
ton, Pat said as he pocketed the coin, 'arrah,
don't blame the gintlcman--hc knows best
mayhap H hadn't saved her, he'd have CIV
en- me dVllar'
How ru\MAKE SHoEs. The celebrated or
ntor, HENLEY, advertised that, il a sirgle lee.
iure, he would teach any artizpn, OF ordinary
hhlIt no" W h'1N' 7'N pau W b""' '''"N' u,
one day nay, siX-and-twegty pair provided
there was "a suthciency OF Materials. The
sons OF Crispin iocked in crowds, willingly
payinH a shilling at the door, TO be initiated
in such lucrative art, when they beheld the
orator seated at a table, on which were placed
SIX pair Of new bouts. 'GcntlumcnH he eN-
claimed, nothing ia 90 simple and easy as the
nrt which have undertaken TO teach YOU
Here arc a new pair Of boots-here are
large pair Of scissots--beholdl ] cut of the
legs of the boots, aud you have a rfW pair
pf shoes, without the smallest trouble aud
thus may they be multiplied al ugbatfnm,
ElpsSsiug alvsys that you have suihclency
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