The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1859-07-20
The old Colonel had but one musket,

and one sword on the place, and things
were in worse state than ever, when Un-
Gle Jim, after gazing abstraetly at pile
of friedrich lying before the sugar-house,
suddenly frightened up and made propo-
sition which struck al! hands as singularly
opposite to the occasion. : Il was for
each of the combatants to stri ip off, and
catching each other by the left hand, to
rub each others hams with coarse fire.
brick, held in their right, until one or the
other cried, Hold, enough Things we're
duly arranged, and at it they went, the
Colonel acting as jacks second, and Un-
Gle Jim as Billy's.
After gently rubbing each other for q
moment, Jack gave sharp rub, which
walked into Billy's hide, and provoked a
shrill squeal and desperate exertion on
the part of the gentlemen to reciprocate
the favor In short time skin began to
peel and "taller" to come off in a manner
which if agreeable to the Colonel and Jim,
as expressed by their ordinations, was
death to the two gents who were giving
and receiving satisfaction in this novel
manner. At it they went, now one side,
now on the other, until wearied with pain
and exertion, they with one accord ceased
their bloody work.
Are you satisfied p asked the Colonel
as soon as he could compress his mouth
into speaking compass
No sir-ee.' shouted Billy, springirg to
his feet; give me another brick
Mines smooth, yelled Jack, as facing
his adversary they each received fresh
brick from Uncle Jim, who absolutely
yelled and squealed with laughter, for the
bricks this time we're literally covered with
cayenne pepper, which Uncle Jim carried
in his pocket as an anti-cholera specific.
Give the word, Uncle Jim,' they both
shouted, as they stood brick in hand rea-
dy to pitch in and git skeezed.'
wait minute shouted Jim, 'ha
haw! ha-u-u! Oh Lordy ha haw git
ready ! haw haw one--haw oh haw
ha two--he haw oh haw three = he
spasmodically yelled as he fell sprawling
backward bursting his what-dye-call'ems
in his frantic efforts to yell all over.
i Two or three scientific passes were
made in the air, and then down came the
, bricks upon their bloody hams, and at il
they went again.
Take him off = shouted Jack after one
or two rubs.
'Nuff = yelled Billy.
'Nuff,' they both yelled, and letting th'
, bricks drop. away they went for the rive
! shouting and yelling at every jump, Fire
fire! fre!' followed by Uucle Jim and tn
: Colonel who, though both tall runners
' we're distanced in the race.
+ When they arrived on the bank, ther
stood the two duslists, up to their mid
/; dies in the water, squealing and hallownl
: for oil, cotton and every other sedativ
the could remember. After hard beggin,
t they waded out until their hips, when tn
: air coming in contact with their peppere
: hides forced them to squat into the cool
} ing element.
: How they got out, Uncle Jim forgo
o to tell me, but one thing certain, they nev
:, er fought again. Billy swore when b
e got out of bed three weeks afterwarG
s that Stagg & Shays' brand was distinctl
e visible on his hips, and that his hams wer
IS as we'll cured as any in the Cincinna
, market. The brand was probably tn
! name of the maker of the brick; but JAG
e swore he smelt fried hams every time b
j. looked downward.