The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1859-10-28

omltn was not protane, 0ut now he rip
ped out an oath.
Blast us, wife, those Internal scouu
drels at Trenton have gone and divorced
us!
II was too true; the parchment
which he held was a bill Of divorce, in
which the names of SIN 'th and Smiths
wife appeared in frightfully legible let
tiers.
Mrs. Smith wiped her eyes with the
corner of her apron.
Here's turnpike" she said sadly,
and with the whole Of our ten chill
dren staring me id tie face, l amt your
wife Here's turnpike"
Blast the pike and the Legislature
and
Well, the fact is that Smith, reduced
to single blessedness. enacted into a
stranger to his own wife. swore awful.
ly- Although the night was dark and
most of the denizens Of Smiths town
had gone to bed, Smith bade his late
wife to put on her bonnet, and arm in
arm they proceeded to the clergymeu
Of this church.
Goodness. bless me ?" exclaimed
the good man as he saw them enter.
Smith looking like the last of June
shad, Smiths wife wiping her eyes with
the corner OF her apron" Goodness
bless me, what's the matter T.
The matter is, want you to marry
US two right off" replied Smith.
Marry YOU !" calculated the clergy
man with expanded Fl gers and awful
eyes: "are you drunk, or what is the
matter with you 2"
However, he finally married them
over straightway and would not take
fne; the fact is, grave as he was, he.
was dying to be alone that he might
give vent to suppressed laugh thai
was shaking him all over; and Smiths
wife went joyfully home and kissed
every one Of their children. The little
Smiths never knew their father and
mother had ever been made strangers
TO each other by Legislature enactment.
Meanwhile, and on the same night.
Jones returned to his native town II Bur.
ling.on, | believe--and sought at once
tie fine black eyes which he bad hoped
shortly TO call his own. The pretty
widow sat on the sofa, white handker
chief lied carelessly about her round
white throat, her black hair laid in
silky waves agaiest each rosy cheek.
Divorce is the word,". cried Jones,
playfully patting her dimple chin !;
the fact is, Eliza, I'm rid of that
cursed woman, and you aud I'll be mar
ried tonight. know how to manage
those rascals at Trenton. A champagne
superior was it breakfast that did
the business for them. Put on your
bonnet and let Us go to the preachers
at once, dearest"
The widow, who was among widows
as peaches among apples, put on her
bonnet and took Jones arm, and
8 just look how handsome it looks
put on parchment!" cried Jones, pulling
out the document before her; here's
the law that says Jacob Jones and Ann
Caroline Jones aro two"
Putting her plump gloVed hand on
his shoulder she did look at it.
40 dear y she said, with her rosy
lips, and sank back fainting on the
sofa.
20 blazesl" cried Jones, and sank
beside her, rustling the fatal parchment
in his hand I: here's lot Of happiness
gone to ruin"
1t was a hard case. Instead of being
divorced, aud at liberty to marry the
widow. Jacob Jones was simply, BY the
Legislature of New Jersey, iniorporat-
ed into turnpike eompany, and what
made it worse. authorized to run
from Burlington to Bristol! When
You reflect thai Burlington and Bristol
are located Just mile apart, on oppo.