The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1859-12-23

modern novelist N high standing bot with
every respect fpf HE authority, bbeg % say
il vas quite the contrary Ia my case,
1Wrny-oRe years ago, was sittipg by my
AlasiIa iaiiHEgP lHFHmeFHLla pages af my
bachelors housekeePiugbook, taking eHer-
eise in arithmetic on long. columns Of " petty
comprising items for carrots and bath
bricks, metal lacks and mutton ehops-uniil,
tired and wearied, ] arrived az lhe sum total,
and ITked lhe book on the mautel piece
Nearly at the same time placed ny hand In
lhe pocket Of my dressInggovn, drew oat
leather cese, and lil principe. Wen, hay-
ing lIt the principe, ] placed my feu on tho
fender aud sighed, exhausted hy lbe long job
Of domestic accounts, l Was ben in busi-
ness-'tvas o small Wholesale business lhop,
/ 'tis large one now-yet one mornings tot,
ting Of carrots and balh-bdcks. metal taeks
and mutton chops, would tire me thousand
times more than twonty-fouT hours ol honest
ledger-Work I sighed, not frsm love, but
ltom lHbori fof 20 toll you tho truth, bad
never been in love, IA lhis toR go on forever
thought l. a. took my Third vhid, Rnd look
ed drramily through the thin smoke 30 ID a.
eendcd between me and print ofthe eBptuIe
Of Gibraltar which hung over the chimney
piece Am 10 spcud my prime In totlinP
up pursnips and computing carrots, and
complrolliug vssbioFbilsp sighed again,
and In the oct, od few the button Of my
neck,hand, d. though some superior power
had sebsonahly sent the accident 20 remind
me of my helplessness,
The button settled the business though
as Il slipped down inside my shirt, and pass.
ed with rs muthcro'poarl collucs, over m,
heart Il Tor o moment threatened 90 chill my
matrimonial resolution, pidcd my own
lonely state, and pity, We know, Is akin 10
love. But how was the matter TO be accom-,
plishcd Most men Of my oge would have
already adjusted their inclination 10 some ob.
jeet 90 that having made up their mind
and counted the cost, little more would have
remained TO be done than 10 decide upon the
day, and lny hold upon the license. This,
however, was not the case with me. had
been too much occupied, too idle or too indo.
len, TO devote the time or make the effort 90
form an attachment" Il was through no
disinclination or difficulty TO be pleased for
had any young lady with moderately ngrcca.
bic powers taken the trouble, she might have
married me long ere then. should even
have been grateful to her Tor taking the irou.
blc OF my hands but ] was too bashfpl to
zsiaF; the Initiative.
] was bashful man. This weakness came
from the same cause as my unole Toby's-
namely, a want Of acquaintance with female
society, which want arose from another cause
in my ease-namely, too close an application
to business.
Accordingly | thought Of an advertise
mcnt yet with no practical design Of doing
business, but ~ persuaded myself, for
joke. So ! scratched with a pencil on the
back Of q letter, the following;
"WANrED 4 WIPE. Nome but principal,
need apply. The advertiser does not require
cash, but only companion. lIe- is siH-and.
twenty, and, tired Of single, be thinks ne can
/ settle down TO married, life. As men go, he
believes he has "a moderate share Of temper,
and want oftimc is his only reason for having
recourse to the newspapers lie has enough
means for himself and second party, and is
willing TO treat ut once. lie is quite aware
that great mary attempts to convert his
honest intentions into an cxtrnyagant joke
will be made, but he warns allrnshinruders
IL he finds man hardy enough to make
sport Of his affections, he will thrash hint
a womah, he will forgive her. lie has a heart
for the sincere, horsevhp for the impert!.
nent. In either case, all applications will be
promptly attended to, If addressed to =. r.,
to the office Of this paper"
felt proud Of my composition, and pulled
away my principe with vague glee and an.
/ tcipation Of something coming out Of IT,
had no very great idrahhht anything but fun
would result; and l certainly had not the
slightest notion ofinvoiying myself in per
sonel collision with nny one. Still the pre-.
sentiment that it was not destined to be all
barren joke, pEessed upon me. On Saturday
the advertisement appeared, and | heard it's
style canvassed by al! my friends, and it was
iokingly suggested by more than one, that
was the ,domesticclly deslituqindividual who
put it forth.
On Monday morning l sent boy 70 the
newspaper Office for =. P.'s letters. 1 ex-
pected he might be followed by some curious
and inqusitive persons so | told him OF
his way back to call at bachelo. noighhor's
Of mine for book. The trick told, The
lad was followed by some persons who never
lost sight of him until they ran him to my
friends, and then they went back and an
hounced that he was the advertiser. / thus
discharged in full one or two practical jokes
whtcr D1y HTtgt6or hEd ptuyuu- upon rrT5-==
The answers were &c the usual character
several seeking TO elicit my name, and still
more seggcsting places Of meeting, where
was to exhibit myself with flower in my
D. ~ ~ - -.