Des Arc citizen., 1859-08-17
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

| -----" Oon't dCt so, isaac, uedr, Sdld NrS.
 Burlington, as Ike was throwing everything
 into confusion about the kitchen, in vain
 attempt to find his ball. People will say
 you are NON poMroUs MEANT US, az they did
 about poor Mir. Smith. The doctor says you
 are of the rebelious sanguinary temperature,
 and Heaven knows what you would do if you
 should have a tendency to the head--perhaps
 you would die of suggestion of the brain i''
 --- Time wears slippers made of list, and his tread Is noiseless. The days come softly dawning, ono after another--they creep in at the windows; their fresh morning air is grate- ful to the lips that part fer it 1; their music is
 sweet to the ears that listen to it. Before we
 know it, a whole life of days has possession
 of the citadel, and Time has taken us for his own.
 1 -- Not many miles from Boston, two sis-
 ters, by the name of Pepper, are employed in the same establishment. One of them has red hair, and is called Red Pepper,' while her
 dark-haired sister is known as Black Pepper.' male relative is also employed in the same hair fairly representing that mixture. - A French editor has given the follow Ing amusing description of the effect of an ad- vertisement: "The first time . man sees an advertisement, he takes notice of it the second time, he looks at the name the third time, he looks at the price, the fourth time, he reads it; tho sixth time, he speaks of 1t to his wife the seventh time, he buys" -" The wife of Dryden, the poet, com- plained that he passed most of his time in reading, and never devoted thought to her. C wish were book," she cried, " and then, at least, you would look at me occasionally." !" A book p exclaimed the poet, " wish you were that is, would have you an almanac, which changes every year."
 --A A young man once requested of Car- touche, the French robber, to be engaged in his band. "Where have you served ?' asked Cartouche. " Two years with an attorney, and six months with an inspector of police," was the reply. Wsll," answered the chief, !" the whole time shall be reckoned IS If you had served in my troop"
 - When Dr. Parr was at college, at Har- row, he had, by intense study, acquired 50 old looking face, for young man, that one day Sir William Jones said to him, jokingly Parr, if you should have the good luck to live forty years, you may stand chance of overtaking your face"
 - At Fourth of July celebration in Con- necticut, the following was one of the toastss !" WoMAN--The lover of union and the friend of annexation: Like our country, her mani- fest destiny is to spread her skirts.' This was responded to with nine cheers and "w-Hoop."
 - If there Is a man who can eat his bread 1 in peace with God and all mankind, it Is he whose own toll has brought that bread out of 1 the earth. It Is cankered by no fraud 1t is wet by no tears; it is stained by no blood" - The rigid Sabbatarians, in Massachu- setts, have gone so far as to recommend that funerals do not take place on ths Sabbath.
 Their next movement probably will bs to prohibit persons from dying on Sunday. - In 1920, there were only twenty-six volumes of novels on the shelves of the British
 Museum; but now there are about seven thou sand, and all these have been produced since Waverley" was written.
 l M. Belly gets along slowly with his
 Nicaragua Canal. The poet Lowell says that
 Jonah was the only man the world has ever
 produced who successfully made the 1" Belly " transit route.
 i "A teetotaler, the other day, asked a neighbor if he was not inclined to the Tern-
 perance Society, and he replied; Yes, for
 when he saw liquor his mouth watered." l -Let no one overload you with favors, you will find it an insufferable burden. 1 What is the difference between blum
 der and wedding? One Is a MISTAKE and the other TAKE-MIss.
 1 "NorHING LIKE A Coon TITLE."-Some
 very plous young women have established an
 association which they style "The Young Woman's Anti Young Man -waiting-at-the- Church-door- with Ulterior objects Society,""
 "A young carpenter having been told that the "course of true love never did run
 smooth" took his plane under his arm when
 he went courting.
 I -" Wherever go," said gentleman re-
 markable for his State pride, !" 1 sm sure to find sensible men from my own State" "No wonder," said the person he was addressing, s' for every man of that State who has any sense, leaves it as fast as he can."
 -" Old ago is coming on rapidly" as the
 urchin said when stealing apples from an old
 mans garden, he saw the owner coming cow ihide in hand
 Il -The following two lines are extracted l from the great epic poem upon Gen. Jackson, written by an aspiring bard of the West:
 When you see their eyes glisten, then, my men, fire!
 i, Were the last dying words of A. Jackson, Es- quire.
 = The latest method of killing mice Is 10 put crumbs of cheese on your tongue, on going to bed, lay with your mouth open, and When mouse's whiskers tickle your throat, spring the trap and catch him with your teeth. "A loving husband sent the following telegraphic message to his wife; " What have : YOU for breakfast, and how is the baby ?'' This answer came back; "Buckwheat cakes, and the measles"
 Al camn-meeting near Boston, the