The Shasta courier., 1859-05-07
Grounds of Separation from Bed and
Board.

turbed lately The news reached as very un-
expectedly, as we always supposed he was a
perfect model of a family man, and that all dis
turbing influences had been kept from his fold
As we were expressing our regret, Blifkins came
in. There was gloom upon his brow, and his
cheeks were pale. His eyes looked watery, as
though he had been crying. We saw in mo-
ment tina. the remark we had just heard had
foundation, but wishing to appear innocent of
knowing anything about it, we said, ' How are
ye, old boy ?" the same as usual. He said not a
word in reply, but sezing US by the collar he
looked intently in our right eye for about five
min, ties. Ne could not stand this, but shed q
tear in sympathy with thesufering that we saw
was lacerating his BOSOM Any one with half
an eye could see it, and we had two
Blifkins," we said, with as much calmness
as we could muster, 4" we've heard Of it. Tell
US the worst"
lie sunk into q chair and buried his face in his
hat, muttering, Separation" The tone was
sepulchral, as though he was down cellar some
where, or like the ghost in &c Hamlet saying
" Swear T. from the wings.
" Separation r we shrieked, /" for what ~
He looked up from the depth of his hat, and
with forced composure, said g Incompatibility p
There was a momentary calm, in which no
word was spoken-as if in the one word uttered
was concentrated all that could be heard. AT
length, very much agitated, we said 4" What is
your proof?'
To our dismay he began to take off his boots
and roll up his pants. Madness" we thought,
and looked anxiously out for the gentlemanly
officer attached to our corner. He had rolled
his pants to his knee, and turning down his
stocking he pointed to several dark bruises on
his flesh.
"Do you see them - he said. "Well," con-
tinued he, isn't that enongll?7
I" For heavens sake, Blifkins," we said, great
ly alarmed, at the same time seizing him by the
hand, " what means this ? What has this to do
with She separation? What has this to do with
fncompatibility ?"
He saw our sympathy, and standing up to ad-
jast his dress, said, as he pulled on his boots,-
Those bruises were made by bricksl l'
Amazement followed this confession. "Dear
fellow we cried, q has it come to this? Did
Mrs. B., so far forgetting the tenderness of the
female character-'
"No," he interrupted " it proceeded from her
tender character and the forgetfuness of my
limbs. She has"-hc grasped our right hand
convulsivey as he spoke-' insisted all the win
ter upon carrying hot bricks to. bed with her,
and the incompatibility of my shins and brick
walls render separation necessary-for o sea-
som"
"And this we said, g is the only foundation
for the story ?" We were little ansazed at
having paid any attention 80 it.
I" AL" said he, q as am man of scars"
Thus ended the interview, and we shall re-
joicc at the return of spring in the thought that
1t brings with it peace to the doAcie of Dlif-
kins.
"GEEAr IRELAND. "A quaint and curious"
article recently appeared in the Irish News, from
which we make the following extract
" 1t was recorded in the Middle Ages that she
Qreland) was here-here in the emerald regions
of orr % ole Ycrgfnny." In the ancient Saga,
or zay ofThorfinn aud the Landnama Book of
Iceland, it was written that Irishmen had gone
over to the Western laud, centuries Before CO.
lumbus, and that their new country, somewhere
about the Chesapeake, was called ireland IL
Mtkla-the Great Ireland, or HuitramGanala1d
the white mans Land. The record has every
mark of truth upon it, as the Northern anti
quaries and the Germans are very well aware
tho the Angles and the Latins affect to dis
credit it. Again-the Irish monk Dicuil who
wrote Latin Geography, in s25 or so, says the
first Norsemen who came to Iceland found there
some Irish mlssals and bclls-showing that the
Paddles had been "bobbing around in that
quarter of the world before them. The passage
of Ersemen, by the stepping stones of Iceland
and Greenland, to these shores of ours had, in
fact nothing wonderful or difficult in it. Their
creeping and coasting-helped by storm from
the S. E., would naturally bring them over
frequently, in the course of ages. The idea of
this Western voyage was general one, five
hundred years ago and the Welsh antiquarians
tell how Prince Madoc went to America in the
Twelfth Century. Furthermore, since the time
of Raleigh, persons have stated that some ap-
parently original natives of Virginia were found
speaking Erse or Gaelic; and it is said Owen
Chapelain saved himself in 1869 from the scalp
ing-knives ofthose devils of disguised Irishmen
by roaring for mercy in some Celtic words
"Nha morriv me l-Er sun Ehea p very likely.
THE SrUpIDLY DIGSIF1ED-The editor of the
Cleveland PlaindealT is not fond OF dicnifed
people, 'as the term is generally accepted -
The biggest pudding-head he ever knew wore
gold spectacles and was dignifed, never low
bred, and said jokes were low. This dignity.n
quoth the editor, " is queer thing. 1t swells in
one-horse lawyers, like uncooked dry apples, and
breaks out on them in the shape of frizzled-up
hair, peacockish struts and linked finger nails
Judges sometimes have it. They deliver the fat
test of trusms in the gravest of tones, and sit as
though they were spiked to their benches Edi-
tors are sometimes dignifed We know of some
that are excessively so; they print exclusively
for our church-they walk soberly and cautious
~ III Tue sdiue Olu DeaEen pain, ana use the same
old threadbare expressions from day to day
from year to year. If man lies, they say he is
laboriug under wrong impression They never
know or state anything positively-they opine
The glorious sunshine of fun entereth not into
their souls They seem to regard newspaper
as they would cofin-a very grave matter !;
and so move slowly and lugubriously forward,
treading gently on the decayed eggs of humbug,
folly and rascality, ignoring the bright side of
life, but always printing digniied papers,
Hel7~ " Let me show you," continued DR..
Bushwhacker, " how to dress a salad. Take a
small spoonful of SALT thus thrice the quantity
mustard Durham m-thus: incorporate: pour
q slender stream of oil from the cruet, so gently
mix and increase the action by degrees" (head
of hair in commotion, and face brilliant in color
" dear me it is very warm-now, sir, oil in
abundance, so dash of vinegar, very light,
like the the last touches of the artist; and sir,
we have dressing. Now, take up the lettuce
by the stalk break off the leaves, leaf by leaf
shake off the water, replace in the salad bowl,
pepper it slightly, pour on the dressing, and
there you have it, sir"
BSy@ "'Meriky, is it They tell me it's mighty
sizeable, Moll, darling. I'm told that you could
rowl England through it, and it would hardly
make a dint in the ground. There's fresh water
oceans inside of it that you might dhround Ire
land in and save Father Matthew wonderful