Cleveland morning leader. [volume] (Cleveland [Ohio]) 1854-1865, 1859-10-19
DIVORCED BY MISTAKE.-.AFUNSY STORY.

Ore winter there came Co Trenton New Jer
sey, two men, named Smith and Jones, who had
both of them designs on the Legislature. Jones
had bad wife and was in love with pretty
woman-he wished to be divorced from his bad
wife, SO that ne might marry the pretty worr an,
who, by the way, was a widow, with black yes
and such form Therefore Jones came to
Trenton for divorce.
Smith had good wife, good as an angel, and
the mother OF ten children, and Smith did not
want to be divorced, but did want to get char.
ter for turnpike or plank road, to extend from
Pigs Run to Terrapin Hollow
Well, they With these different crrlnds, came
to Trenton, and addressed the assembled wss
dom with the usual arguments First, suppers
mainly composed Of oysters with rich back
ground of vsnisoni second, lquors in great
plenty, from jersey lightning" which is
kind of locomotive at full speed, reduced to lia
nor shape, to Newark champagne
To speak IN plain prose, Tho divorce man
gave champagne supper, and Smith, the turn.
pike man, followed with champagne breakfast,
under the modifying influence OF which the as.
sembled wisdom passed both the divorce and
turnpike bilIs--and Jones and Smith, a COPY of
each bill in their Ioskets, went rejoicing home,
over miles of sand, and through the tri6ulation
of many stage coaches.
Smith arrived home in the evening, and as he
sat down in his paror, his pretty wife beside
him-how pretty she did lOok!--and fiyo of her
children overhearing the other five studying
their lessons in the corner of the ROOM Smith
was induced TO exp tiate upon the good result
of his mission to Trenton.
"a turnpike, my dear; am ono of the Di.
rcctors, and win be president 1t will set me
up, love; we can send our children to tho
bOardng-school, and live in style out of toll.
Here is the charter, honey"
Let mo see it; said the pretty little wife,
who was ore of the incest of wives, with
pumpnees and goodness dimpling all over her
face, ''let me SEQ it,, as she leaned over Mr..
Smiths shoulder.
But all at once Smiths visage grew long,
Smiths wife's visage grew black Smith was
not profane, but now he. ripped out an awful
oath.
"Bless US, wife, those internal sooundrels al
Trenton have gono and divorced us !"
It was too true; the parchment which he
held was bill Of divorce, in which the names
Of smith and Smiths wife appeared in fright
fully logible letters.
Mrs, Smith wiped her eyes with the corner
Of her apron.
Heres turnpike" she said, sadly, "and
with she whole Of our ten children staring me
in the face, amt your wife Here's turn
pike"
"Blast the pike and the Legislature and"
Well the fact is that Smith, reduced to sin.
gle beSsedness enacted into stranger 10 his
own wife, swore awfully. Although The nirat
was dark, and most Of the denizens of Smiths
town had gone to bed, Smith bid his late wife
70 put on her bonnet, and arm ia ara they pro.
oeeded to the Clergyman Of their church.
"GOOdness hless me !" exclaimed the good
man, as he saw them enter, Smith looking like
the last of June shad, Smuh's wife wjpin0
her eyes with tho corner of her apron--''qood.
ness tell me, whst's the matter I"
The matter is, want you to marry us two
right off," replied Smith.
MARY you !" calculated the clergyman, with
expanded fingers and awful eyes; "ars YOU
drunk or what is tho matter with yOui"
However, he finally married them over
straiRhtwsy, aud would not take fec. The
TACT is, grave as he was, he was dying to be,
alone, tn at he might give vent TO a suppressed
laugh that was shaking him all over, and Smith
and Smiths wife "ent joyiully hom' and kissed
all Of their children. The little Smiths psver
knew that their father and mother had ever
been made strangers 10 each otherb by legislative
enactment.
Meanwhile, and on the same night, Jones
returned to his native town--Purlingtou, be.
lieve--and sought Ot once the fne black eyes
which he had hoped shortly 10 call his own
The pretty widow sat on the sofa, white 'ker-
chief tied carelessly shout her round white
throat, her black hair laid in silky waves against
each rosy cheek.
Divorce is the word, c I'D Jones, playful