The Shasta courier., 1859-03-19
The Free Lovers on Berlin Heights.

One day recently, an itinerant Snowman is
supposed to have called upon the Communists
or Free Lovers of Berlin Heights-the great or
der patronized by the notorious Mrs. Branch
and thus ho describes in the Cleveland Plan
Dealer, what took place on the occasion.
Here am at Berlin Hites amung the Free
Luvirs. arrovc hear last Toosday & bitterly
doc cuss the Day ever set foot in this retch-
ed place. | hearn tell of these Free Luyirs for
sum time Il and thawt ide cum and see what
kind of kritters they was. picbt my tent in a
field near the Luv Kure, as tha kohl it & unfol-
did my bannir to the Breese. Bimeby the peple
kommensed fur to poour into my show & be-
gun for to kongratterlate myself on doin a sta
vim bisniss. But they ware a ornery lookin set
/ must say. The mems fases were all kuvered
with hare " thay looked harf starved to deth
The wimmin was wus nor the men. They wore
trowsis, short gowns and straw hats with fadid
green ribbins onto them, & they all kerried bloc
kotton umbrellers in their hands. Bmeby a
perfactly orful lookin female presented herself
to the dore. Her gownd was skaneerlusly short
Il her trowsis was shameful to behold
Sez she " Ar, Kind it be ? yes, It's troo, 0 tis
troo p
Sez i, b" Is scnts, marm."
Sez she, +" Il so i've found yu at last p
Sez i, yes you has found me at larst & you
wood hav found me at fust if you had cum
sooner"
Sez she, " Air yu man ?"
Sez i, I" think air, but if yer dowt it yu may
address Mrs. A. Ward Baldwinsville, Iniianny.
postidge pade, & she viii dowtliss give yu the
required infermashun."
Sez she, then yu air what the world cawls
marrid ?'
sed, yes, marin air."
The eksentric female then grabd me by the
arm sez she in q wild voisc, "yu air mine, O
yu air mine !"
"Scarcely," sez i, rs relcesd myself from her
irun grasp.
Sc agane clutched me by the arm & scd. "yu
air my afIinerty.n
Sez i, "what upon arth is that2p
Dest thou not know ~ sez she.
No marm,n sez i, q dosent.n
Sez she, Listen man & lie tell yu Fur years
i've yeared for thee. | knowd thow vast in the
wurld somwhares altho knowd not thy name
or plase of residunce. Ny hart sed he wood
cum It took curridge. He has cum-ho is hear
-yu air him-yu air my affnertyl o tbs two
mutch-two mutchI & she bust out q cryin.
YES" sez /, "i think it is darn site two
mutch."
-" Hast thow not ycarncd fur mo?7 she yelled
ringin her hands like female play actor.
Sez /, " not yearn."
By this time CRATE krowd of free lovirs had
koilectld around US, and they all kemmensed
fur to holler shame" /" brute" beast,n etcet-
ra was jest rs mad as a Martch hair.
Sez l, "yu pack of onery critters go away
frum me and talk this retchid woomun along
with yu. My naime is Artemus Ward and ime
In the show bisinis. pay my bills and mind
my own fairs. ime marrd man and my chill
drum all look like me if am Snowman. il
don't go In fur setting the laws of my country
at defiance. aint in fayur of privatearin or
notnin else Illegal. think your affinerty bisi-
ms is cussed nonsense, besides being outrajusly
Wiekedn
pored 4th my Indignation in this way until
II got out of breth when stopt. took down my
tent u shall leeye town this evening.
A WaRD