The Council Bluffs nonpareil. [volume] (Council Bluffs [Iowa]) 1857-1867, 1859-05-07
MY WIFE AND !.
IN dam 7 wiah wan rich -

40 an obstinate m0lar might De extracted
by dentist, by the contemplation of a
large opening in the toe of little Percy's
stocking, which she had been trying in vain
to devise some mode of closing without de-
stroying the symmetry of the garment, while
pile Of similar articles, of various sizes
and patterns, lay at her elbow, as much in
need of mending as an old rake's habits
There lay seven pairs of little stockings,
while their seven daily occupants were snug
ly snoozing in bed, forgetful of the many
weary stitches their little feet caused; and
all around on the tables and chairs, was
scattered promiscuous assortment Of ju-
venile aprons and dresses, jackets and
breeches, each one bearing its owners mark,
in the shape of rips and rents.
q wish was rich = r; peated my wife.
There was q strength and heartiness in
the tone and manner, which left no doubt
Of her sincerity, and in an instant my mind
went back some twenty years, to the time
when we had been rich in our mutual de-
pendences, and rich in the bright hopes
which not only gilded but plated the future
all over with twenty carrot plates at least
as together we looked down the long vista
of coming years, fair flowers of Joy around
our feet, ripe fruits of happiness around
our heads, the richest of all riches, content
ment in our hearts, and f. Iur at only five
dollars barrel.
Almost twenty years ago those soft hazel
eyes, that now beam with tender, matronly
love, first told the story of that love, which
those rosy lips (their bloom has not yet
faded) confirmed; and that fair round face,
that has grown fairer and rounder every
year, first lay upon my breast in maiden
truthfulness.
We did not fall into love, nor walk into
it, nor glide into it, but We took it by in
stinct, as ducks take to the water, and we
Were married, with about as definite an
idea of modes and means of meeting our
current expenses as raw Irishman has Of
Egyptian hieroglyphi 8, or 6 arcoal pedler
of honesty.
In point of worldly possessions, We COM
menced with nothing, and have had it ever
since; for, what with the increased expenses
of living, and our success in adding to the
census returns, each year finds US rs far
from the possession of a respectable COM
potency rs its predecessor. Financially we
have scrambled along in a hitter skilter way,
tumbling into little puddles of debt from
time to time, and now and then long in
terval of exemption, to be followed by a
new scramble for safety. Until now, on
this cold Saturday in January, my wife and
sat cozily by our cheerful fire-she with a
load of unmended and to-be-mended stock
ngs on her mind, and ostensibly reading
trying to solve the great problem of the
relation between supply and demand at
least so far as to make my weekly supplies
cover the weekly demand of my wife, chill
dren, the grocer and the landlord. And SO
| sit, buried by remembrances of earlier
happiness and now darkened by shades Of
unpaid January bills, which load my desk,
making the demand for the greatest staple
money, far exceed the supply, therefore,
according to eur best political economists,
enhancing the value of the circulating
medium.
Meantime my wife still laboring under the
weight of the stockings, says for the third
time with increased fervor and slight de-
gree of asperity, as though demanding a
reply:
'Oh dear wish was rich''
'Riches, my love, take to themselves wings
and fly nwHy,' -nrlied. with the air OF one
who had seen myriads of tender young dol
lars put on their pin feathers, become duly
hedgod and soar away to unknown regions,
like flock of wild geese leaving not even
the smell of money behind.
'Well, if they do they must 20 to roost
somewhere, and don't see why some of
them can't settle here as we'll as elsewhere,
said my wife, as she commenced on a fresh
stocking: and then added with slight
dart of acidity, There's no danger of our
riches flying away
'No, my dear, the wealth of loving hearts,
of unstained conscience, and contented dis
positions, is permanent investment, and
not at all prone to arial lights. These are
your only true riches. With these you are
richer than Crmsus without them you a.e
poor indeed
That's all very well; but that kind Of
property don't constitute legal TENDER
You can't pay the grocer's bill with consc-
ences and dispositions, however pure and
contented. They don't 60 half as far as
promises, for I've known you to make those
last year. But speaking of a grocer, re-
minds me that thought saw the bottom
of the flour barrel this morning.
Now knew in an instant that there wasn't
lour enough in that barrel to make homo
pathic biscuit, for had Il hint thcsiay be-
fore in the shape of an inquiry from my
wfe-'What is iour worth now = expressed
in tone intended to Indicate that she
had no more interest in the matter than in
the number of miles between the earth and
the moon.
1t is little fiction of hers, that delicate
hint in relation to the cOnsumptive state of
that important ingredient in domestic econ
omy falls more lightly upon the ear of the
moncylcss, that the plain and simple, though
appalling statement, 'The flour barrel is
empty;' and she will resort to all manner of
expedients for bringing the case to my In n
r, ther than state it in plain English. In fact,
have sometimes thought of teaching her
to say it in Spanish, and thus remove little
of its harshness, but as she had no aptness
for any other tongue, except her own have
abardoned the idea.
The purchase of q barrel of -four is an
event in our household economy not to be
treated lightly. 1t requires preparation and
consideration. In the first place certain
sum of money is to be provided to meet the
emergency, for whatever latitude the grocer
may allow in minor matters, when you talk
to him of -four, you must produce the quid
pro quo, or there's no trade.
1he next point to be decided Is the selcc-
ton OF the brand. This leads to friendly
interchange of views between the heads Of
the home department., which always results
in my being commissioned to purchase the
highest priced in the market, and a caution
to avoid oil attempts at a false economy By
investing in cheaper quality. In my
younger days once made a purchase Of a
barrel of second quality, to see if my wife
would know the difference, and | believe |
have had the biscuit that were made from it
thrown at my head ever since.
You should see my wife when she assists
at the opening of the new barrel, and the
snowy treasures are disclosed to her grati6ed
gaze. Smiles dimple her rosy cheeks, and
pleasure sparklcs in her eyes. How tender
ly she lifts each dippcrful from its recepta-
Gle, examines it wi h the eye of judge, and
pronounces upon its quality with the air of
an expert. And what glow of housewife
ry satisfaction mantles her fair face, when
the first baking confirms her judgment. And
then day by day as she descends deeper
into its recesses, each dipperful, snowy
though it beleaves a shade upon her brow,
until at lass the -four, and the smiles and
dimples disappear together.
As sit reading of an evening, can hear