Clarksville chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1857-1865, 1859-10-28
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''s.i - ~ 81, NUMBER 49,,
Sharp Paragraphs.

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On AsTRoLooY.--My hearers, what is
an Astrolpger but amerp mortal after NIP
He can no more burst open the iron barred
doors, of the future, than "A softShelled
niger can butt his head through a neither
fnili-stones. He may feel the pulse Of the
stars tofnd oat the Why and the wherefore
of cJrnJcholeraCearaehey .dy spepsis, and
ithe sprue; he may tell how city lots and
the lots of individuals will turn out; he
may pretend to all this; but he knows. no
more about 1t than a pewter dog. There
lis just as much dependence to be plnced
upon his predictions as there isupon signs
fof coming storm, when an cid ram
Stands with his tail to the northsenst.aA-
Study yourselves, my hearers uperuse
carefully your hearts, and their inelina-
tions; and let allAstrologers pass to spring
fodder in other words, so to grass ladrru
| SEEEP TO THE GUILTYl-Tho nianswho
backbites his neighbor; who acts dishon-
estly, lives immorally, and votes spurious
tlyi who lounges lazily, judges rashly,and
condemns instantly; who throws aquid of
tobacco into the contribution box, and
takes out three cent piece to buy, more;
such a sinner cannot coax sleep to, his
bedside. She wont do it: he may fall in
to snooze: he may, partake of the FIRST
section Of a 'cat-nap,' but ere be is aware
a skeleton night-rn looks in at the win
dow, and gives horse laugh at his misery!
.. The Discomfort OF HUMANITY,---AIan,
I my hearers, is the fretful babe of trouble
and care. He often frets because he cant
find anything to fret about. You give
him his own way, and he don't like it: be
wants his own way of having his own
lway.di1 know the world y nobody has
looked sharper than have, for a change
Fof honest happiness in it: but the bub-
bles that rise ON the stream of time are
altogether vanity. I've been down the
stream, and I've watched the bubbles; and
| tell you, my hearers, that all by the mar
gin of said stream, nests of uyoungihum-
bugs are, continually being hptehedas iaai
On LovE.---Love, like electricity, per-
vades all bodies My heart sinks into my
trowsers- pocket, when L mediate upon
the evil which it has caused. lit, comes
before you know it, and makes you feel
queer. Look at yon. miserable self martyr,
with the fire of liquid damnation gieam-
ing through his carbuncle nose , the pangs
of despised love pour through every pore
of his ruby proboseis.,, What constitutes
the staple of his hard refeetions2 tears,
kisses, partings-sawdust, soft7sawder, and
solt lt-soaP aa3l ba0,s5 81 o. sav issica9 sd'
y, The OF THE HUMAN BoDY.--I Eliken
the, Human Body to . House. The. big
bones are the main .timbers. The ribs are
laths, well plastered-or rather, rafters,
that run into the ridgepole, or, back hone,
The mouth is the door, and the nose, is
the chimney especially for smokers
The throat is the entry, that leads to the
kitchen of the stomach, where all sorts of
food are cooked The lungs are the bel.
lows. that blow the fame of life, and Keep
the pot of existence always boiling !; but
the Heart is the great chamber, where
great variety of goods are stored some
good more middling many bad my
hearers, if you have any rubbish in that
chamber, clear it out, and make room for
goods which are saleable in the markets
of the Virtuous.r The chamber of some
hearts present an awful dirtylappearanee.
Take the branfnew broom of Decision,
brush out the dirt of Sin, and sand the
door with Virtue. "a ........ ...t .-.5
Upon EGoTIsM AND DANDiEs,--I detest
egotism and, vanity as a cat does wet
floor. There are some vain persons in
this world, who after long Incubation
will hatch out from out from the hot bed
of pride a sickly brood of fuzzy ideas, and
then go strutting along the path Of Pom
posity, with all the self importance of q
speckled hen, with a black chicken. I
Ave an antipathy to such people. l''l' "