The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1859-12-28

But speaking of the grocer reminds
me that / thought | saw the bottom
of the -four barrel this morning"
Now I knew in an instant that there
wasn't -four enough in that to make
homeopathic biscuit, for had had hint
of its condition the day before, in the
shape of an inquiry from my wife,
What is -four worth now ?"-ex-
pressed in tone intended to indicate
that she had no more interest in the
matter than she had in the number OF
statute miles between the earth and
the moon.
1t is pleasant little fiction of hers,
that a delicate hint, in relation to the
consumptive state of that important
ingredient in domestic economy, falls
more lightly upon the ear of the mon
eyless than the plain and simple, though
appalling statement, "The -four bar
rel is empty )" and she will resort to
all manner of expedients for bringing
the case to my mind rather than state
it in plain English. In fact, have
sometimes thought of teaching her to
say it in Spanish, and thus remove a
little of its harshness, but as she had
no aptness for any tongue, except her
own, Iehave abandoned the idea.
The purchase of barrel of -four is
an event in our household economy not
to be treated lightly. 1t requires
preparation and consideration. In
the first place, certain sum of money
is to be provided to meet the emergen-
cy, for whatever latitude the grocer
may allow in minor matters, when you
talk to him of -four you must produce
the quid pro quo, or there is no trade.
The Eext point to be decided is the
selection of the brand" This leads
to friendly interchange of views be-
tween the heads of the home depart
ment, which always results in my be-
ing commissioned to purchase the
highest priced article in the market,
and caution to avoid all attempts at
false economy by investing in cheap
err quality. In my younger days, |
once made purchase of barrel of
second quality Gas the grocer called it),
to see if my wife would know the diff
ference and l believe | have had the
Biscuit that were made from it thrown
at me ever since.
You should see my wife when she
assists at the opening of the new bar
rel, and its snowy treasures are dis
closed to her gratifed gaze. Smiles
dimple her rosy cheeks, and pleasure
sparkles in her eyes. How tenderly
she lifts each dipperfrH from its recep-
tacle, examines it with the eye of a
judge, and pronounces its quality with
the air of an expert And what a
glow of housewifely satisfaction man
ties her fair face, when the first baking
confirms her Judgment And then, as
day by day, she descends deeper and
deeper into its recesses, each dipper-
full, snowy though it be, leaves a shade
upon her brow, until at last the flour
and the smiles and the dimples disap-
pear together.
AS [ sit reading of an evening, I
can hear that wooden dipper humping
at the slaves or gently scraping the
bottom of the barrel as it descends in
search of the wherewithal for the
bread of the coming day, and I know
that my wife is intimating by these
means the necessity of a fresh supply
as plainly as though she told me in so
many words, for she knows that I can
hear every thump. And by-and by
she comes in looking as demure as a
kitten, and none but the initiated would
ever dream that she had an empty
-four barrel on her mind. But the
next day brings a fresh barrel, fresh
smiles and dimples, and renewed de-
pletion of the already attenuated purse
The smiles and dimples are always
cheap at the price, even if the -four is
not
AS meditated on this momentous
subject, | could see by the knitting of
her brow and the increased vigor with
which she applied herself to her week
ly task, that my wife's financial aspi-
ration was still working in her mind,
and knowing by long experience that
confined thoughts, like explosive gas
es, must have vent, and fearing that
some more violent remark might be
shot at me, like pellet from a gun,
replied
"True, my dear, | know that the
grocer will only be satisfied with gold
or its equivalent, which he is much
better calculated to appreciate than
purity of intention and loftiness Of
soul, and fortunately for him, it is
much more plentiful in the market
though scarce enough with u.s. But
for all that, we have untold treasures,
if we did but know it,"
They must be untold, for never
heard of them before. If you have
such an abundance, wish you'd spare