Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1859-08-25
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Thr SENATOR AND THE DRoMoIs
.enior MI. Guy of the Notional Hotel ,at WASH
iuqton bears quite likeness to General Cass,
and upou this the correspondent of the New
York Times tells the following story.
A stranger who supposed he knew mine host
very well. put up at the National the other
night, and the new conner was necessarhv,ior
the first night, sent to the upper floor TO Sleep.
Coming down stairs the next morning, lit
tie cross, he met Gen. Cass there, stepped ud
to him, and in language more furcible and
rapid than elegant said:
'Fn be ID if III stand it You've put
me a. the top of the house ! must have a
room somcwhere lower down
General Cass, interposing, ,nervousiy-'Slr
YOU are mistaken in the man you are address
ing, am General Cass of Michigan"
Stranger (coniusodly.l BEG your pardon.
Gen. thought it was my old friend Guy.
Beg Thousand pardons: Sir. All mistake,
all mistake, assure you, Sir"
The General passed out of the building
but soon returned and as luck would havo
it, the stranger met him full in the face again,
but another position. ibis time lie was sure
he had mine host, for the stranger stepped
boldly up, slapped the General heartily and
familiary on the shoulder, and exclaimed;
by heavens, Guy, ! have rich sell to re-
lute.--I met old Cass up stairs, just now;
thought it was you, and began eurslns him
about my room.
General Cass with emphasis,) "Welt
Young man, you've met old Cass dgoinP'
Stranger slop0d, and hasn't been heard OF
since
PATRICK AND THE PRIEST Patrick, the
Widow Maloney tells Inc that you have stolen
one of her finest pigs. Is that SOP
"Yis, your honor
what have you done with itY
Killed it and ate it, yer honorI
Oh Patrick, Patrick. when you are brought
face to face with the widow and her pig on
judgement Day, what account will you be a
Bile TO give of yousef, when the widow accuses
you Of theftT
Did you say the pig would be there, your
riverenceT
10 be sure didl' :,
We'll, then, yer riverence, I'll say, Mrs.
Malony, ther's your pig.
TIE YANKEE AND THE ENGLIsuMAN.-Ah
Engishman, in one of our towns, was boast
ing of his country. and among the rest he said:
There are springs in our country where
the most sparkling soda water can be had al
ready prepared. ."-"Why, that is nothing to
q lake out West" said one of his hearers, with
perfectly serious countenance; 'there yorl
can procure the most delicious champagne,
already bottled, and the hanks are made Of
spongecake.'
A QuAKEREss, jealous Of her husband,
watched his movements, and one morning
actually discovered the truant kissing and
hugging the servant girl. Broadbrim saw
the face Of his wife, rs she peered through
the half open door, and rising with all the
coolnrss Of a general, thus addressed her:
Betsy, thee had better quit peeping, or thee
will cause disturbance in the family
GOVERN TuysELF.-An italian bishop,
who had endured much persecution with a
calm and unrufllcd temper, was asked how
| he attained such mastery over himself ''By
making a right use of my eyes" said he. Il
| first look up to heaven, rs tho place whittier
am going TO live forever. next look down
| upon the earth, and consider how small u
space of it will soon lie all that | occupy or
/ want. then look around and think how
many are far more wretched than / am"
Why are the country girls cheeks liko well
/ printed Cotton?-Becausc they are warranted
to wash and keep the color.
A negro on being examined, was asked
whether his master was Christian. "No, sir,
he's member of Congress" was the reply.
gs5-"Come in, little children, out of the
wet" Ms the shark said, when it sucked III
tho little fishes.
No GESTLEMAN.-An elegantly dressed
| lady recently entered a railroad car in Paris,
where were three or four gentlemen, one OF
whom was lighting cigar. Observing her.
with the characteristic politeness of French
man, he asked her if smoking would incorn-
mode her. She turned toward him, and
with quiet dignity replied, Il do not know sirj
no gentleman has ever yet smoked in my
presence"
The Rev. Mr.--, ar eccentric preacher
in Michigan, was holding forth not long since
| in Detroit. \ young man arose to 60 out.
when the preacher said; Young man, if you'd
rather go 10 hell than hear me preach, you
may go!"
hesinnor stopped and reflected moment
and saying, respectfully, "Wcll, believe |
would" went on.
Dir. Young says that man and wife are
like soul and body--oltcn at variance, and
yet loata to part.