Meigs County telegraph. [volume] (Pomeroy [Ohio]) 1848-1859, 1859-01-18

Western editor, lis trying TO persuade a
bar-keeper 10 trust you tor three-cent
nipper."
R3- Men, however poor, should not be
slaves. Few men can afford TO have their
own carriages; every man can afford to
have his own opinion.
GNDr. Valentine Mott once said to a
graduating class: Young gentlemen, have
two pockets made--a large one to hold
the insults, and small one for fees.'
R-A Dutchman's heartrending sOlilo-
guy is described thus: tShe loles Shon
Mlckle so much petser as l, because he's
cot koople tollars more as has!"
ER"The Wheeling "Intelligencer" says
that a. party in that neighborhood, ON
Christmas Eve, an old lady nirety-seven
years of age, outwaltzed young man Of
twenty-five.
HVoltaire had perfect horror of in.
quisitive persons. He said to one of these
bumpers: "Sir, Lam delighted to see you.
but give you fair warning, know nothing
about what YOU are going to ask me-"
%When you see two ladies walking
with their arms round each others waists
you may be pretty sure that they have
just been ending quarrel, or are on the
point of beginning one.
ET Mr. D. sat long time very at
tentive, musing upon a cane -bottomed
chair. At length he said: II wonder
what fellow took all the trouble to find all
them ar holes, and to put the straws round
them?"
~"Oh! my FRIEND" said doctor to an
Irish patient, 'be composed, we must all
die once" ''And it's that what vexes
me-" replied Pat; ''if could die half
dozen times, I'd not care half penny
aboutthis time"
EFA candidate for Congress out West,
sums up his edicatioN as follows:
al never went to school but three times
in my life. and that was to night school.
Two nights the teacher didn't come, and
tother night Ihad no candle"
FORGETTING THE LATTER END.-A ro-
mantle father, whose name was Rose,
grew up under the appellation of .'Wild
Rose" But the romance of the name
was sadly spoiled in few years, for she
married a man by the name of Bull"
THE ''K1ss Among the new enter
tainments produced by NJ. Julien, of Lon
don, is polka called the kiss" with al
orchestral accompaniment, which pro-
duces the effect of the smacking of lips.
He probably means the -sound ''of the
smacking Of lips" The effect is altogether
another thing.
~"Why, Mr.. A. how came you to
pray for rain? Do You know that most of
us a'e in the midst of our harvest, and
that rain would be very injurious to us
Just now, dry as it certainly is?"
ooh, yes" replied the preacher, 81
know all that, but then; Brother B.. I
have just sown field of turnips, and
prayed for raiu on my own account"
ES-Voltaire, on hearing the name of
Haler mentioned to him by an English
traveller al Ferney, burst forth into vio-
lent panegyric upon him; his visitor told
him that such prai>e was most disinter
ested. for that Faller by ne means spoke so
highly of him. well, well, n'importe,"
replied Voltaire, perhaps we are both
mistaken"
ES'Friend Dabbs walked into "dry
grocery" the other day.
Can we do anything for you?" says
Dickey.
Eyes" says Dabbs, "but I'll bet dol
lar you won't"
Done" says Dickey. "Now, what is
il?"
Credit me for Gre dollars worth of
your truck" G:
''Lost, by thunder"
Coon SToRY-The following story is
told Of Jenny Mohar, who has so long
b en The gardener of the Presidential man
sion in Washington:
The President had heard rumors that
Jenny vas accustomed TO get drunk, and
be uncivIl To the visitors at the White
House, so one bright morning he sum
moned him into his presence to receive his
dismsssnl Jenny" said the President,
Il hear bad stories about you. 1t is said
YOU are constantly drunk and uncivil to
visitors" Jenny was puzzled to reply
at last he said: "Mr President, l hear
much worse stories about you, but do you
think behave them?"
GS-The Dayton Empire" relates
story Of young lady, who had been re-
ceiving the addresses ola rich farmers son
n'ar Davton. The "pariene was op-
posed to the match, and after the wedding |
was come, and the guest assembled. pre-
vailed on his son to "back out" writing ,
the e'llowing letter Of explanation to Wild
der M
you kin MARIA your purity dater to sum
of tie fellers ms alters RUM ng ater her
my john hes concluded ia huh Of he wont
be thar so so on with your rat-killin,
no more forever
john S---sen
Another lover who was present. offered |
To take Johns place; aud the lady, with