The Grand Haven news. [volume] (Grand Haven, Mich.) 1858-18??, 1859-10-05
Miscellaneous Items.

- He whose soul does not sing, need
not try to sing with his throat.
- Cowards die many times; the val
liant never taste death.
= Fast men, like fast rivers, are gene
rally very shallow.
Marrying for money is species of
prostitu ton.
= The slanderous words of common
liar do not amount to slander.
= Creditors and poor relations never
call at the right moment.
- To succeed you must keep moving;
to grow rich you must keep saving.
An Editor as he was going a court
ing, said he was "going to press"
- Virtue is real honor, whereas all
other distinctions are merely titular.
= Gcncalogists agree that shippers"
are directly descended from Ham.
= The lady whose heart swelled with
Indignation has reduced it with poultices.
= The best adhesive label you can
put on luggage is to stick to it yourself.
- The blaze of reputation can not be
blown out, but it often dies in the socket.
= We know of man so habitualv
sleepy, that his curiosity cannot be awak-
ened.
= A fire is Ike pretty woman
neglect it in the least and your reliance
upon it is gone.
Never travel without a pocket
companion. A well filled pocket-book is
the best.
= Why does sailor know that there
is man in the moon! Because he has
been 10 sea.
= IL is great pleasure to bc alone,
especially when you have your sweet
heart with you.
- We suppose man who never
speaks may be said always to keep his
word.
= Every man ought TO aim at emi-
nence, not by pulling others down, but
by raising himself.
- Learning is not offensive in a wo-
man, if she only preserves gentle and
thoroughly genuine disposition.
About the only person we ever heard
of that wasn't spoiled by being lionized
was Jew named Daniel.
- Whose best works are trampled up
on most9 A shoemakcr's; because good
shoes last longer than bad ones.
- 1t is mistaken notion that the
"seat of war" and the "scat of honor"
are synonymous terms.
= Why is n young lady like bill of
exchange! Because she ought TO be
"settled" when she arrives at maturity.
When n thought strikes you, what
should you do with it! Hit it again if
it is of any Importance.
- Life should be fortified by many
friendships. TO love and be loved is the
greatest happiness in existence.
- The gentleman who stood upon GER
emony has lost bis footing, and now finds
that he has slipped out of very pleas
ant circle.
= Mr.. John Jack, q Kentucky editor,
says that one day his gal slapped him
in the face, avering by way of apology,
that she was fond of slap,jacks.
- Thought, like flashes of lightning
in a dark night, picks out scenes which
were before latent and obscure, and recalls
wildly remcmbranccs of the past.
= Courtships arc The sweet and
dreamy thresholds Of unseen Edens, where
half the world has paused in couples, talk
ed in whispers under the moonlight, and
passed on, and never returned.
- That was n horrible aflair-thc
murder of Dean, and the sealing up Of
his remains in tin box
"What Deans" asked half dozen
voices nj once.
"Why, Sardcan of course" was the
punSehI reply'
- A brilliant young gentleman re-
marked the other day, TO young lady
with whom he was bowling:
al think that YOU would make a CAPT
tol baker,"
"Indeed, sir, why"
Because you make such excellent
rolls"
- Hero is another joke in the same
line:
Holloa! who's there 2" exclaimed ,
young man, MS he entered the bowling
saloon at Lake George.
"'ris ], sir, rolling rapidly" replied I
young lady, as she sent a ball whizzins
down the alley.
- When young man steals kis
from a Lowell girl, she bushes like ;
"new blown rose," and says smartly:
You darsn't do that twice mere"
The Boston girls hold still till they ar'
well kissed, when they flare up all at once
and say:
at .Lo,,I1 ,L.oI, 80, xvouIJ ba ashnm