davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1859-04-28
WILLIE, II: j., THU BsDAY5 APRIL 90, 1859.


Husband this is really too bad-plum
pudding is twice as hard to make as bread pud-
ding, and is more expensive, and a greet deal
better say this is plum pudding sir 7 and
my pretty wife's brow flushed with excitement.
My love, my sweet, my dear love !" exclaimed
we, soothingly, "do not get angry, am sure
it's very good, but it is bread pudding
"Y on mean, low wretch Rercely replied my
wife in higher tone, ''you know its plum pffd-
ding"
Then mann It Is n1eanly put together end 81
badly burned that the devil wouldn't know it.
tell you, madam, most distinctly and emphati-
cally, | will not be coYttadcted, that it is bread
pudding-and the very meanest at that"
at is plum pudding p shrieked my wifs, as
she hurled glass of claret III my face; the glass
itself tapping the caret from my nose.
Bread pudding!' gasped we, pluck to the last,
and grasping roasted Chicken by the left leg.
plum pudding I rose above the din, as we
had distinct perception Of two plates smash
ing across our head
Bread pudding! 7 we groaned in rage as
the CHECKED left our hand, and flying with swift
wings across the table, landed in madams bo-.
som. #
"Plum pudding 7 resounded the war cry from
the enemy, as the gravy dish took us where We had
been depositing the first part Of our dinner, and
a plate of beets landed Upon our white vest.
Bread pudding forever" shouted we in def
ance lodging the soup tureen, and falling be-
meath its contents.
"Plum pudding l"yelled the amiabIs spdusej
as noticing our misfortune, She determined to
keep US down bypiling on our head the dishes with
no gentle hand. Then in rapid succession, fol-
lowed the war cries. Plum pUddingp y she
shfieked with every dish.
Bread pudding p In smothered tones came
up from the pile. Then it was PLAN pudding
in rapid succession, the last cries growing feebler
and feeber-till just as can recollect, it had
grown to whisper. Plum pudding g. resouhded
like thunder, followed by tremendous crash as
our wife leaped upon the pile with her delicate
feet, and commenced jumping up and down
when, thank Heaven, we awoke and thus saved
our life. We shall never DREAM OH wedding
cake again"
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1859-04-28
Things I Like to See.


j like to see young man fond Of ladies' So
ciety. like to see the young ladies encourage
young men, more on account Of their good char
acters, than their good clothes.
| like to see a young man wear his old coat
until he can afford to buy new one.
/ like to see economy without meanness-when
you are invited to ride, tits as little as you can
do to pay the toll.
I like to see mans income exceed his ex-
penditures tits more disreputable to be seen in
the custody of an officer, than to be considered
poor
] like to see a young man attend to his busin-
ess first, and pleasure afterwards.
| like to see good reputation; it is the best
capital in my business.
like sincerity-ths genuine article, not the
counterfeit of hypocrisy.
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1859-04-28
Printers CuriSsties.

A crust from printers pi.
A cloven foot of the devil:
A wheel from the royal chase.
A toe-nail of foot line.
A heel bone of the sleeps foot.
The pleasure received from an embrace.
The little finger of hand.
A tear that fell from capital /.
A lawyer that plead printers case.
Some fur from the top of a small cap.
A candle made from printers PLAT.
Some bark from printers stick.
A string found in the devils tail
A sight from shooting stick.
A glass of grog drunk from printers bar.
A feather taken from the bed Of a press
A quoin from printers bank.
The index Of d printers guide.
The uniform worn by General Intelligence at
the battle Of Composition.
An insult from an imposing stone
And afew debts from delinquent subscribers
which we hope will be paid as soon as circum-
STANCES will admit!
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1859-04-28
A Word id Season.

James Harvey once met with woman in 8
coach, who was talking very fast in favor Of at
tending the theatre. Among othsr things she
said there was the pleasure Of thinking on the
play before she went the pleasure she enjoyed
when there, and the pleasure of rejecting upon
it when in her bed at night when she hsd
done, he in very mild way, said that there
was one pleasure more, which she had forgotten
to mention. She replied, ''%hat can that o.!
Surely, have included everything in the en-
joyment before hand at the time, and afserw
To which he answered; Madam. the pleasure
that it viii give you on yoar DEATH BED" shs
was struck with great surprise, had not another
word to say, and the CONSCIOUSNESS was she RsS.
er went any more to the play; but followed tAoss
pleasure which could afford her satisfaction ud
her death bed
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1859-04-28

A black and white correspondence at Charles
ton, South Carolina, writes: ''You are aware
that the yellow fever is raging here at this pre-
sent time, and that we have large class Of Irish
and German population, as well as some few ne
groes. One day last week, an Irishman was
passing along Calhoun street, and III passing an
old negro woman ostled her off the sidewalk
" Dere, now," says she, dat is all you Mickeys
are good for, to run over poor colored folks, and
como here git the yellow fever, and die, and den
glib de city a bad name"
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1859-04-28
~ 1t nj q 4 y 1t g

A gentleman who had lost his wife, whose
maiden name was Little, addressed the follow
ing to Miss Moore, lady Of diminutiye stature
I've lost the Little one had
My heart is sad and sore,
So now should be very glad
To have little Moore.
TO which the lady sent the following answer ::
] pity much the loss you've had
-t The grief you must endure
A heart by Little made sad,
A little Moore won't cure.
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1859-04-28
Method of Detecting Decay in Timber

We learn from the Cosmos that simple me-
thSd has been adopted in tho shipyards OF Ven
ice. from time immemorial for testing the sound
ness of the timber. A person applies bis ear to
the middle of one of the ends Of the timber while
another strikes upon the opposite end. # the
wood Is sound and Of good quality, the blow is
very distinctly heard, howsver long the beam
NAV be. If the wood was disaggregated by de-
cav Or otherwise, the sound would be for most
part destroyed
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1859-04-28

1t is not what people eat, but what they di-
gest that makes them strong. It is not what
they gain, but what they save that makes them
rich. 1t is not what they read, but what they
remember that makes them learned 1t is not
what they profess, but what they practise that
makes them righteous. These are very plain ana
important truths, too little needed by gluttons'
spendthrifts, bookworms; and hypocrites
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1859-04-28
fOtume 1, Number rs.
gabbath geadinllg,
Saul Journeying Damascus.

WHOSE Is that sword-that voice and eye Of aa4s-A
That heart of unsxtingnishabIe ire f X m
Who bears the dungeon keys, and bonds Of ars9
Along his dark and whitening path he came
Death in his looks, and terror in his name,
Tempting the might of heavens Eternal Sire.
Lo the light shone the SUMS yelled beams sxspfrs
A savior's self, a savior's lips proclaim?
Who is yon FORM stretched the sarth's cold bed.
With smitten soul and tears ofagony Eel.
Mourning the past? Bowed is the lofty bead
Rayless the orbs that flashed with victory
Over the raging waves of human win ,..ss -
The savior's spirit walked-and all was still
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1859-04-28

A woman is either worth a great deal or moth
ing. If good for nothing, she is not worth get
ting Jealous for; if she be true woman, she will
give no cause for jealousy. A man is a brute
to be jealous of good womah--a fool to be jeal-
Gus of worthless one but is double fool, to
cut his throat for either of them.
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1859-04-28

say, Cuffee, what ribber am like human
critter ?"
Cufee declined, for the best of reason, to
reply. "Yah yah !" chuckled Sambo "why,
him Am son. you stupid niger"
Cufee. overcome by this proof of profound
geographical research, admiringly calculated
"golly !"
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1859-04-28

A connoiseur happening to be in celebrated
artists studio, an animated discussion arose as
to the color of immaterial objects
"Thus," said the one, how would you color
tempest supposing there were no clouds ?"
why" replied the artist promptly, should
say the storm rose and the wind blue"
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1859-04-28

A modern poet makes the remark that bright
things never die" This is utterly false. A
friend of ours, who lately had a bright red head
of hair, lately made an attempt to transform it
into rich brown with the greatest success. 1t
was found to dye beautifully
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1859-04-28

A Partisan robber who was arrested for stealing
snuff out ofatobacconist shop by way of excus-
ing himself, exclaimed; THAT he was not aware
of any law that forbade aman to take snuff
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1859-04-28

WHAT'S the matter, Julia, you look as sorrow
full as sick lap-dogi"
80, don't perplex me, that's dear my grief
is toe great for utterance I've had such an
awful vision! I actually dreamed that Rosa
Smith had got new silk dress"
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1859-04-28

a good action is never thrown away. -
This is the reason probably, why we fnd 80 aes
~ few Of them "lying around loose."
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1859-04-28

An old fellow being visited by his pastor, he
assured him that he could not be good Chris
tian unless he took up his daily cross, whereat
he caught up his wife and began Juggling her
about the room.
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1859-04-28
B. B. Blackwell, Publisher.
e net'g 81 o o &
TFoR THE PRESS
Dedicated to Mrs. S. e. Stead


We give thee joy, young BRIDE
And could our prayer avail,
No gift the heart may well desire,
Should from thy portion fail
We give thee joy young bride,
Not the ideal light
Which fingers round the dreams of youth;
But aye eludes the sight
We give thee joy young BRIDE
Substantial chamgeless, pure
Such can satisfy the heart,
And through all time endure
We give thee joy young bride,
May all the scenes of life
Find thee rejoicing in thy lot
A faithful happy actfe.
We give thee joy young BRIDE
And when kfe'S are DER,
May thee, and thine, in bliss serene,
United BE- forever
Lans6ertuille, Aprsl Ia, 1859.
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1859-04-28

A lawyer asked Dutchman in court what
ear-marks a pig had that was in dispute.
well, he has no mark except very short
tail"
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1859-04-28

The daughter of one of our upper ten" fam
lilies, eloped last week with a music teacher.
Result-grief, gossip, scandal, and baby.
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1859-04-28

"That motion is out of order" as the chair
man Of political meeting said when he saw q
rufian rails his arm to throw rotten egg.
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1859-04-28

"She dipped into the waves as gracefully as
the Widow Green could make a courtesy.
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1859-04-28

The editor of the New Orleans Plcayune, in
describing the launch Of a grand steamboat,
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1859-06-02
The Fifteenth Of June

Our readers will besr iD mind that
the candidates for Governor will
address the people at this place on
Wednesday, 10Th inst. Turn out
and hear them. Gov. Harris is sus-
tanning himself and the Democratic
cause in mastery manner. Our
adyices from those portions OF the
State where they have spoken, con-
tinue Of the most cheering character.
Orr candidate is doing valiant SER
vice in noble cause, and We would
no, new be surprised if his majority
in the State we're to exceed in mag
nitude that of 1857. So mote it
be! Turn out and listen to them,
everybody!
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1859-06-02
IhECAMVASS.
BOLIVAR, Tenn. n

BOLIVAR, Tenn, May %.
The candidates for Governor
spoke here on Tuesday Gov. Hnr-
lis surpassed himself and routed he
army of the Opposition, horse, foot,
and dragoons. Netherland is a
shrewd man, and evidently a good
jury lawyer, but the Governor held
him 10 the record, and his struggles
were really painful to witness. 1t
made me sorry TO see so clever a fell
lew get such terrible thrashing.-
."Our folks ale in fine spirits, united,
enthusiastic, and full OF faith, and We
intend to roll up an increased ma
jority for Harris and Avery. VIII
you do rs much in Middle Tennessee?
The Opposition acknowledge that
Netherland will do nothing here,
but Say they will whip us out in
East Tennessee. | tell them that
their political gains are like tn, ir nj. k
sickness, which never hurts any body
about here. but always play the very
d. 10 the next county. Rest as
sured We have got them down.
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1859-06-02

New Orleans. Es.--
Cotten-Middliug III. Flour has &C.
clining tendency, So 62Is, Corn dull, 05;
Coffee steady, liz Gle.
Cincinnati. Nlsio--
Flour unchanged. Corn dull at Soc
Whisky 25c. Sugar 74@7Ac.
Augusta, Ss3--
Our markets. not SO excited as at the time
of our last weekly statement. BreSdstuffs
are comparatively quiet, and the upward move
ment in the prices Of hog produce mas been
checked. Our quotations show considera-
bic advance however, ard at present can be
realized: Tennessee clear sides l3e; ribbed
121a; Shoulders 999l. Hams OF prime eoun-
try trimmed, and l2@23 for pork-housc Trim
med; Tennessee canvassed hams, a compara-
lively new article. and we rejoice to say a
greatly superior one are in request at l3>a g
TIC. Lard $50 lac for choice lots in bbls and
cans. Superfne -four is in demand, and COM
mands "a q j in sacks and bbls; extra super
fine dull at ~ @711s; and extra family do 8
@S3. White wheat l 80; red 60 for prime
lots. Corn 05@l TO- Oats 7o@75. Stock
Peas Sl@1 %. Meal S1@I 05. Feathers
45@ 48c. Bseswax 3o@35. rButter 1925.
Eggs 1876.
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1859-06-02
august gIfftioll 1850
eoNaREss-sIxrn plsrRIcr.

GDNGBESS-SIATH DISTRICT.
% We are authorized To announce Hon.
JassseS II. EiloRaas. of Maury, a candi-
date for Congress from this Congressional Dis
trict.
st-J~ We are authorized TO announce Maj
EsTlsi. Fs. Polk. of Maury, candidate for
Congress from this Congressional District.
STATE sENATR--IINoorN AND FRANKLIN.
sDEWe ara authorized 70 announce z ;aE.
w. Newman. ESQ Of Frank lin, candi-
date to represent Lincoln and Franklin counties
in the Senatorial branch of the next Tennes-
see Legislature.
sDjs We are authorized TO announce DR..
=. J. Alternately, of Franklin, Candidate
10 represent Lincoln and Franklin counties in
the Senatorial branch Of the next Tennessee
Legislature
sGs We are authorized to announce
garises e. Czlsico:st, Esq, of Lincoln, a
candidate to represent Lincoln ard Franklin
counties in the Senatorial branch of the next
Tennessee Legislature.
REPREsENTATJvE--LINC COUNTY.
o. We arc authorized 10 announce Mr.. %.
W. HOTrnwEs a candidate to represent Lin
coin county in the lower branch Of the next
Tennessee Legislature.
or We are authorized to announce Capt.
Geo. Y. EsehEs, a candidate to represent
Lincoln county in the lower branch CT the
next Tennessee Legislature.
o. We are authorized TO announce hir.
J.. Lefeyvfcss candidate to represent LIN
coin county mihe lower branch Of the next
Tennessee Legislature.
FLOATER--L LINCOLN, GILES, AND MARSHALL.
OF We are authorized to announce Mr.
Samuel Ne. ENvisFg, of Giles, candl-
date to represent the counties OF Lincoln:
Giles, and. Marshall, in the lower branch oi
the next Tennessee Legislature
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1859-06-02
Hail

Hail
An esteemed correspondent a
Marble Hill, in this county, gives
US the following particulars of a
devastating shower Of hail that fell
in that section on Tuesday, the 7tf
ult. We had heard run.ors Of this
misfortune before, but bad received
nothing authentic with reference to
it until now. At the conclusion of a
business letter, under date Of the
23d ult.. our friend writes
Ga the night Of the 18th inst,
there fell the master hail / ever saw.
1t swept everything wherever it
went. 1t was drilted up ia piles, and
lay all the next day. Wherever it
struck a wheat or rye fieldit swept it
clean. 1T beat it down, and beat it
all to pieces, so that you could not
tell what was there.
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1859-06-02

Rust
We regret to be informed that the
rust has made its appearance in some
Of the ohent and cat fields in this
county. We shall await further de-
yelopments with good deal Of it,
terest, as these crops, and particular
" the former, have become very i'm:
portant items 10 the role Of Lincoln
agriculture. II is to be hoped that
the blight will no extend TO any ma
terial extent.
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1859-06-02
WOOH4CARasRNG.

[TNHE undersigned having purchased the
IL Carding Machine at Fayetteville would
respectfully announce to its former patrons
and the public generally that they viii be
ready to commence operations by the 18th
inst. 1t is our purpose to run a wagon to
Canaarso, Halls Store, and also to Mulberry
/ and Esqr. Boon's.
TERxs:--For Carding white wool ten cents
per H.. for mixed twelve. or the fifth pound
toll. Cash or wool will be required for carding
Invariably in advance We hope our custom
ers viii prepare their wool by washing clean
and burning, and furnish one pound of lard to
ten of wool. and we will insure good rolls.
May 10, 1859. COBB & PRICE.
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1859-06-02
/ Good Speech

The Mas b,ille Union & American
contains a very able speech deliver
ed by Hon GEORGE w JONES, in the
Congress OF the United States, du-
ring the administration OF Mr. FILL
MORE 1t exposes the origin of many
of those schemes for squandering
public money, which have since re-
suited in such enormous expenditures.
1t also shows how those schemes
were resisted BY the Democracy from
the beginning
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1859-06-02
Temperance Monthly

The publishers have furnished US
With The Nay issue Of this work. 1t
contains 81 pages, is devoted TO tenn
perance and literature, and is edited
by Mrs. Emile G. s. Chiffon, one Of
the most gifted lady writer's of the
South. Terms Of subscription, 81 a
year. Address Smth 9. H1nham,
Box 449, Nashville. Tenn.
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1859-06-02
Pablo Meeting

Pablo Meeting
1t has been proposed to hold a meet
log of TIE Democracy at The court
house in this place next Monday,
for the purpose of appointing dele
gates TO a Convention to acct In
Shelbyville to nominate a candl-
date for Congress from this district.
Conventions, it was long since de-
cided, are the ;nost effective means
of removing Ill dissatisfaction from
our ranks, and for promoting the Co.
operation of our party. Bat the
time proposed--the 10Th OF June
for the assembling of the Conveo-
ton, is certainly. we think, too soon.
So far as we have seen, not primary
meeting has been called in either
Alau,y, Bedford, Marshall, or Frank
In. for the appointment of delegates,
and in this county, We may add, some
democrats are opposed TO Conven-
ton Straightforward the same may
be said we suspect, Of the Shelby
Vile and Lewisburg democratic pa.
pers. Yet, as democrats, we have no
doubt, they would waive their pref
erences for the good of the party.
What say you, brethren?- shall the
Conventionmeet on the 18th Of July?
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1859-06-02
Depot Building

Reference 10 their advertisement
in this paper, viii show contractors
that Messrs- r. E@qaharson, Benz.
Whitaker, and John M Bright, Com
mittee to receive bids for the Win.
chester aud Alabama Railroad, will,
until the Goth inst, receive proposals
for The erection Of Depot Building
at Fayetteville.
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1859-06-02
Last Monday

The candidates for Congress I'D.
dressed the people at the courthouse
in this place last Monday. A larger
crowd was in attendance than we had
anticipated. Respectful attention
was given to the speakers, who ac
quilted themselves, we have no doubt
to the best Of their ability. Many
telling hits vera given and received
and the discussion was conf dcted il
gentlemanly, good natured manner
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1859-06-02
Marrl 3EIettioll 1860
etIpp1rp-TINcoLN COUNTY.


~ We are authorized to announce Col.
IOsepla "a. George, candidate for Sher-
if of Lincoln county, at the March Election,
lse0.
~ We ere authorized to announce Mr.
Ezesa, CFtssP, a candidate Tor Sheriff OF
Lincoln county, st the next March Election
az We are authorized to announce Mr.
Holm Owens, of the third district, cam
didate for Sheriff of Lincoln county, al the
next March Election.
TRUSTEE--LINCoLN COLNTY.
* We are authorized to announce 4. y
Randolph, ESQ. a candidate f-r Trustee
of Lincoln county, at the next March Elee-
ton.
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1859-06-02
Wool

Mr. A. G. Gil. jr., who resides
near ellis Store, in this county, has
placed on our table specimen OF
wool, clipped from a yearling buck
belonging TO him, which, We think, is
worthy Of special mention. The
strands are II inches long. and the
fleece weighed eight and halt
pounds. The animal was shorn BY
a person who had never before tried
the business, aud of course he cut
very uneven. An experienced hand
would have made the clipping weigh
fully pound more. The wool Is OF
excellent quality, though the animal
is of The common breed. So much
for Lincoln growth. In other coun-
ties. "a fleece weighing four or five
pounds is almost marvel. But Did
Lincoln easily produces twice that
weight without exciting particular
wonder.
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1859-06-02
The SULPHUR We'll

Z S row open for those who wish to use the
! water Terms as heretofors-singlet ticket,
81, family ticket 50. If taken from the we'll
in bottles or jugs, it viii be taken for granted
it IS intended for family use, and charged ac-
cordiDsly. When water is wanted for a "few
weeks -"because he is sick,r-or ty "sd-
vice Of PHYSICIAN 81 is the charge. to be
paid on application. r. HILL.
MaE 10. 1859
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1859-06-02
Virginia

The election in ibis State Cor Gov
ernor took place last Thursday
The returns are not all received, but
enough is known, it is thought, to
justify The belief that Mr.. Leteher,
the demot rattle candidate, is elected.
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1859-06-02
Land for Sale :

On Saturday, the 25th day Of
this month, a tract Of Land contain
ing IS acres, lying in the Lynchburg
district, will be sold to the highest
bidder, on the premises, at Chancery
sale. For particulars, the reader is
referred to the advertisement in this
paper.