The Tiffin weekly tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1859-1868, 1859-07-01
ODDS AND ENDS.

ODDS AND ENDS.
BErrER TO FlGHT THAS RUx.-'That
which thou hast TO do, do il with ell thy
might seid a clergyman TO his son one
morning.
so | did this morning, said Bill with
an enthusiastic CLEAN In his eye.
| 'Ah what was H. darling and the
fathers fingers ran through his ofIspring'g
curls.
why, wallopcd Jack Edwards, said
the Young hopeful, 'till he yelled like bla-
zes. You should just have heard him hoi-
Ter, dad'
The father looked unhappy, while he
explained that the preccpt did not apply
to any act like that, and concluded with.
Il You should not have done that, my
child
'Thcu he'd a wnlloped me, replied the
young hopeful.
Better said the sire, 'for you to have
1ed from the wrath 10 come
Yes, but replied tho hopeful, by way
OF final cbncher, Jack can run twice Ra
fast as | can.
The good man sighed, went 10 his study,
toop up pen, and endeHyored to compose
himself,
i / kNEw SIR WoUGp.-Deucon w. was
a staid and honest Baptist deacon In one
OF the interior towns in this State, who
had a vein Of dry, caustic humor In his
competition. The deacon had boy Of
some dozen summers, who was somewhat
/ inclined be little ugly when not under
J the parental eye. In school, especially,
J John was constant annoyance TO tho
/ teacher. One day the mistress punished
p him for some misdemeanor, and Johnwen
; homo crying, to enter complaint, and told
his father that the mistress had whipped
J him.
"What" exclaimed the deacon, eie-
vating his eyebrows, "been whpped"
} "Ya-a-s" sobbCd the boy.
"And did you lett woman whip yel"--
shouted the deacon.
1 "Ya-a-s couldn't help H."
i "Well John, you little rascal, YOU 90
20 school tomorrow, andi If Miss--uns
] dertakes TO whip ye agin, you Jest pitch
IN. don't leta woman whip ye, five can
help IL. Don't take any stick to strike
! with, but, ye may strike, scratch, bite and
kick az much as ye'er a mind TO"
i The next day the boy went to school,
and, omboldened by the permission given
him by his father, was soon brought be-
fore the tribunal Of violated rules. The
teacher undertook TO correct him, and he
did as his father had told him. The re-
suit was that John got a most unmerciul
trounciug and was thoroughly subdued.--
Whom he went home, he went TO his fa-
ther crying.
"Well, dad got an awful bad licking
to-day"
what" said the old deacon, shave you
lot that woman whip you Rgainl"
"Ya-a-s," whimpered John kicked
i her, and struck her, aud TT her all / could
butshe damned me orfully"
"Ahu!" chuckled the humorous old deas
/ con, "you tnrnal little fool, I knew she
would, and advise you 70 bchuye your
self in future"
/ his fathers motive, and ever Hfterward was
sodder and wiser boy.-A roestoe Pi.
onser.
The young woman who was "driven TO
distraction now fears that she viii have
to walk back.
A wise man win speak we'll ofhis neigh
Dor, love his wife, and pay for his news 4.
paper.
He is 10 mean philosopher who can
give q reason for half Of what he thinks.
The peace most coveted by European
monarchs, is a piece Of their neighbor's
territory.
Political capital is now sud to mean
nothingmore nor less than personal intor-
est,
Il do wish could be cured oflyinRin
bed so late in the morning,' said lazy hus-
band, lounging on his pillow Well, I'll
Try the cold wgter cure. said his wife,
dashing bucketfull on him.
John, you seem to gain fesh every day,
the grocery business must ugreowith you.
What did you weigh Tasty aa
sWell Simon, / really forget, but il
strikes me 1t was pound Of butier.'
Eyarg man 10 volpmo, ify0u know how
to read him.
Why is snul'like the the letter 81 Be.
cause it 10 the beginning Of s-neeEe.
0srAiils EMe carstang, boarding.
house keeper in So. Louis, has aued
millionaire, Mr.. Henry Shsw, sixty-livo
years Of age, for breach Of promise laying
her damages a. 100000.
Among tho advertisements II London
paper, we read that sINs0 aiatera want
washing,"
Ol-Advioss from Austalia, istel at
MelhourRa on tie lst Of March, etstes
American tlonr was selling AZ &l2o per
ton, an advance Of 80 90 over the ne-
tive.