davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1859-04-30
r~ It is related of an intemeprate

az It is related of an intemeprate
man named Ammi, that on this occa-
sion he went to the village with a yoke
of oxen and a cart, and then and there
got slight" The villagers put him in
to his cart and started the oxen off to-
wards home. Ammi laid fiat down in
the cart body, and Immediately fell IN
to a sound drunken sleep, and the oxen
went in the road awhile, and then turn
ed out into big field and went to
grazing. A wag discovered the state
of affairs, and unhitched the oxen aud
drove them off out Of sight, and then
came back and tickeled AmmI's nose
with straw, and curled down under
the cart, and listened. Wag reports
that Ammi rubbed his eyes, rose up,
and as he stared all around him, de-
livered himself thus: Gam l Ammi
or am not Ammi? If l am Ammi,
where am /? If l am not Ammi, who
am I? If l am Ammi I've lost yoke
of oxen; if am not Ammi, I've found
cart.'
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1859-04-30
A Smart Woman.

The Chattanooga Adve-t;ser relates
the following;
A nice, respectable lady, not thous.
and miles away, had long noticed, to
her dismay, that her "worser half was
growing foclishly suspicious and jeal-
-ous of her. She resolved to teace him
4 lesson.
Some evenings since as he was leav-
ing she told him he need not hurry
baek--shs would not be longly-she
wished her ducky to enjoy himself, etc.
Benedict smelt veritable ''asite' I'M
der that hypocrisy, and resolved to be
avenged. About eight O'Clock, "an III
diwidual' about his size might be seen
cautiously creeping along the to door,
and noiseless!y Benedict peeped in
Just AS he had expected. There they
were-a pair Of boots, a coat on the
back of chan, and hat on the table.
Benedict shivered like an aspin leaf as
he stopped, pulled off his boots, and
drew pistol from his coat pocket
With ''resolution flashing from his
eyes," he made tracks for the bed
room There he was kneeling at the
bedside, coat and vest off, and his
head on the pillow. Miserable william,
his time had come!
"Say your prayer, william, your time
is Short" and a flash and report told
that the bullet had sped on its fatal mis-
sion.
"Help! murder! watch!-oh, is that
yoz?" and Madame popped her little
head up from the foot Of the bed.
Benedict seized the body, aud it was
"a miscellaneous collection of old coats,
vests, pillows, handkerchiefs, and the
like, made up for the occasion.
81 say my dear, what does all this
mean?" exclaimed the husband, with
a blank, sheepish look.
"Wel, DEAR" replied his wife, 81
did get lonely after all, and just amused
myself by dressing up that puppet, and
making believe you were at home
I'm sure, l did d'nt think you'd suspect"
"There, there" said the chagrined
husband, "say no more about i; !
thought it was robber; dear creature,
Pm so glad it didn't hit YOU"
Benedict repeated "Now l lay me
down. &C., and went to bed, re-
solved not to watch any more at pres
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1859-04-30
Senator Tcombs lifts the Curtain.

When the Republicans charge the
present Democratic Administration
with prot1ligacy, the "Toadies" come to
tn. rescue with cries Of "Shanghai-
lies." 'RcpubIican shrieks, ,""calunny,"
Sc, SC, but when a man like Sena-
tor Toombs Of Alabama, who has been
keeping step with the music, Of the I'm
ion'' lifts the curtain, SO that the public
eye can Get full view Of the facts,
we find things worse than have hither-
to been represented. The public are
indebted to the Alabama Senator for
his exposure Of the rotten state Of Den
mark, in doing which, he has perform
ed more valuable service to the country
than he would have done, if he had
succeeded i'll his purpose, Of ''calling
the roll of his slaves at the foot of Bun
ker Hill Monument"
Before the adjournment of Congress,
he made some statements regarding
the protiigate conduct Of the admins
tration, from which we select the fol-
lowing extract:
"Yonr appropriations for navy yards
have gone to building Of houses for
officers and the making of fower-pots
and ali that sort of thing, at cost of
$4,000. .0oO-and it will be no less as
long as you will pay it, but will go up
to t0,Ooo,000 if you do not stop it.
There are s2,OOO,OOo that YOU have 10
need for at all. You have 5000 sailors
to man your navy. You have not in
creased them of late years, and you
have now 5000 men in your navy
yards to help them civilians. You
have carried their numder up from
5000 to 5000. You have eight navy
yards. England has $50 ships and she
has two navy yards. You have eight
conveniently locate all about the coun.
try, and it is a cause Of reproach tC
good Democrats for the enemy to say
zee keep people there to cheut them 4,
eJectionsj and as God is ny judge, j
o,n AFRAID there is something IN It,"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1859-04-30

loves to play, there God himself brews
it; and downtown in the deep val
ievs where ths fountains murmur and
the ri!ls sing; and high on the tall
mountain tops where the naked gran
ite sltters like gold in the sun-where
the storm clouds brood and the thun-
der tones crash, and away far out on
the wide, wide sea, where the hurri
cane howls music and the big waves
roar the chorus, "sweeping the march
Of God )" there He brews it, that bev-
erage Of life, health giving water.-
And everywhere it is thing of beau
ty; cleaning in the dew drop, singing
In the summer rain, shining IN the ice
gem, till tho trees all seemed turned to
living iewels-spreading golden veil
over the setting sun, or a white gauze
around the midnight moon; sporting
In the cataract, sleeping in the glacier,
dancing III the hail shower; folding it's
bright snow-curtains softly about the
wlntry world ; and weaving the many
colored iris, that serapA's zone of the
sky, whose woof is the sunbeam Of
heaven, all checkered over with celes-
tial flowers by the mystic hand of re-
fraction. Still always it is beautiful
that blessed life water No poison
bubbles on its brink; its foam brings
not madness and murder; no blood
stains its liquid glass; pale widows and
starving orphans weep not burning
tears on its clear depths; no drunk
ards shrinking ghost from the grave
curses it in words of eternal despair
Speak cut, my friends; would you ex-
change it for the demons drink, alco-
hoI 90
A shout like the roar of tempest
answered "Nor'
Critics need never tell me again that
backwoodsmen are deaf to the divine
voice of eloquence, for l saw at that
moment the missionary held the hearts
of the multitude, as it were, in the hol-
low of his hand, and the popular feel
ing ran In current SO irresistible that
even the dueIist, Watt Forman, dared
not venture another interruption during
the NEE riEr,
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1859-04-30
A Rich Scene.

In C0e SaIlaUldH AAouSS VI HAosCi'~As
last week, they had quite spirited de-
bate on the bill to prohibit the use OF
hoop and crinoliae, introduced by Ak
ems. We publish a few Of the most
brilliant passages
Mr.. Drum,aond was an ardent ad-
mirer of hoops from childhood. He
was born with love of hoops. When
he was child of tender growth, be
used to trundle his hoop, all unconsci-
ous Of the fate that was in store tor
him. Later in life be swallowed ring,
which resulted in hoop-in-cough; and
even now the sight of an empty hogs
head brought tears into his eyes.
Mr.. Brown complained that it was
impossible now to choose a wife, since
her defects were so hid by hoops, and
enyeloped in crinoline, that the naked
Speaker-Order.
Mr.. Brown-Mr. Speaker.
Speaker-The honorable gentleman
is ont Of order.
Mr.. Brown-But Mr.. Speaker the
naked
Speaker-Hold your tong in, sir.
Mr.. Brown-the naked
Speaker-Upon my soul Brown, cork
up, or I'll have you arrested.
Mr.. Brown-Perrit me to explain,
Mr.. Speaker. When I said the max
ed
Speaker-(yelling)-clear the gal
leries of ladies, Mr. Sergeant.
Tn Ho nf
enteen graces and the fifteen muses.,
Mr.. Speaker-dearly beloved Smith
let me apologize; then I only meant
to say that hoops and crinoline had
reached to such redundancy, that it
was impossible to arrive at the naked
Speaker-( frantically )-death and
blue devils! Stop, or I'll brain you
with the mace. Consider the inpro-
priety Of
Dir. Observation-Disclosures !! truth!
truth naked truth, was what l was go
ing to say.
Mr. Dunbar Ross understood his
honorable friend to say that people
could not pass along the streets with
out being assaulted by highwaymen.-
Now surely the honorable member
from Lake Ontario could not but be
aware that the character of every mem
Der in the House was affected by such
dam
Mr.. Talbot objected to such unpar-
liamentary language.
MIR. Ross protested against Interrupt
ton. He was going to say, by such
dam
Mr.. J. Camerou-The honorable
member should not swear IN that dread
full manner.
Mr.. Ross-W asn't doing anything of
the kind; but would be tempted to do so,
if not allowed to finish his sentence
but such q dam-(order, order IA
dam-(confusion) he would repeat it
by such a dam-(tremendous up
roar.)
Mr.. Wright stood up and moved,
amidst the widest confusion, that Mr..
Ross be expelled from the House for
such awful language.
Mr.. Ross (black in the face) ex
claimed that damaging statement was
all he meant to say when he was inter
rupted by the fool
Mr.. Tablot-Who's fool
Mr.. Ross-Foolish ass
NJ. Cameron-Who's an asss
Mr.. Ross-(wildly)-Foolish ass-er-
ton Of profanity.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1859-04-30

w A short time since, says the n.
Y. Tribune, John Van Buren, and 9TH
er dignitaries were having good time
over their wine and walnuts, at IA
nous boarding house in this city, when
the landlady-a plump, rosy widow
came into the room. MADAM, what
are your politics p asked one of the
party. II am q straight-out Silver
Gray Whig," she replied. "Look at
her closely, gentlemen" remarked the
prince, s'tor I assure you, the male
species os shat ANNA, is en.;->lv ex-
tinct.''
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1859-04-30
WHAT CONSTITUTES SPIRITUAL.

WHAT CONSTITUTES A SPIRITUAL
Isr Our readers would, perhaps,
like TO hear what these people claim
to be their common doctrines of'sfaith.' y
We therefore clip the following from
the Age Of Progress, of Buffalo, which
is edited by the venerable Stephen Al
bro, whom we imagine to be posted in
these matters:
"Indeed, we freely allow Spiritual
lists unlimited latitude Of faith, beyond
a few common positions, without which
the name Of "Spiritualist' would have
no meaning. And whilst VIC are on
that subject, we may as we'll tell what
these common positions are. They are
those points on which all we'll devel-
oped communicating spirits agree:
"We may name the uncreated and
eternal existence of spirit and matter;
the all-pervading presence, all-sustain-
ing and all-governing power, all-saving
love, of the one only and infinite God
the naturalness of the spirit world and
the spirit life; the impossibility Of any
achievement, either PHYSICAL or spiritual,
by either mortal or immortal being,
outside Of and contrary to the laws OF
nature, which are the laws of God; the
Immortality Of the human soul, its Ger.
tain redemption from the condition OF
dsbasement to which ignorance and
vice naturally sink it, and its eternal
upward progression; the existing and
continually openinginteroourse between
mundane and super-mundane human
ity; and the fabulousness Of all religious
faiths and crseds which attribute to the
Great Father Spirit the passions, f-ail.
.ies srd fo.nes Of human nat1re."
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1859-04-30

o, Willie, il it you, dear,
Bafe, safe at home,
They did not tell me true love,
They said you would not come;
/ heard you at the gate
And it made my heart rejoice,
For knew that welcome footstep,
And that dear, familiar voice
Making music on my ear
In tina; lonely midnight hour
q! Willie, we have missed YOU
Welcome, welcome home.
We've longed to see you nightly,
But this night Of al
The FIRE Hag burning brightly,
The ligh were i'll the hall
Th. little oues were up
Till twas ten o'clock and past,
When their eyes began to twinkle,
And they've gono TO slesp ct last;
But they listened for your voice
Till they thought you'd never come.
.! Willie, we have missed YOU
Welcome, welcome hons.
The days are sad without you,
The nights long and dIear--
Ny dreams are all about YOU
o! welesns, Willie dear.
Last night sat and watched
BY the :aDoa!igh cheerless ray,
Till | thoagnt | heard your footstep--
Then | wiped my tears away -;
Bat my heart grew sad again
When found you hsd not come.
o! Willie We have miss; YOU
Welcome, welcome home
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1859-04-30

A HUSTER's ADvENTURE.-Ah hun
ter, narrating bis hair breadth escapes
to an admiring audience, said:
II once had two balls lodged in my
stomach"
sPistol balls ?" asked one.
"No.o
"Ah, musket balls, then ?"
"No,'' returned the narrator, "they
were as large as my flst -
"Why, You don't mean to say they
were cannon balls?" exclaimed one of
his hearers with distended eyos.
''No, they were not cannon balls"
"What were they then %
"Cod-fsh balls" returned the hun
ter, with grin.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1859-04-30
Free Pass for Editors.


2sth has long and well considered
article on the subject of free. passes, in
which it lays down the principle that
both justice and policy dictate their
issue to certain extent. 1ttakes strong
ground IN favor of free tickets for char
table purposes to managers Of other
railway companies or kindred works,
to workmen on the roads, and to edit
ors. The comments in regard to the
relations between the press and the
railways are so pertinent thas we copy
them entire
We think the best investment the
Erie Railroad could make to-day would
be to issue fifty free passes to editors
Of leading newspapers, on condition
that their use should always be accom-
panied by notice of the road. Ad-
vertising is the secret Of success where
one depends on the public patronage.
The most valuable kind of advertising
for railroad is not the publication of
time tables, but spirited descriptions of
its route Of the works on its line, of
the country and community it traver-
ses. These are always eagerly read,
and always create a desire to visit the
scenes described. A description of
the capabilities of the country, or the
cities and villages or ofthe industry and
products Of the people, upon the routes
of the road, will be often the means Of
sending large parties over it, in search
or loo.t;o,,o I, - ~, ,or,col,,os No-c ,,o,
ticularly is such kind Of advertising
necessary for the weaker Of the two
competing lines. The latter should be
kept constantly before the public eye.
Otherwise its existence will soon be al
most forgotten. AS passenger road,
the Erie Railroad is now almost lost
sight Of. Few newspapers now refer
to it, except by way of disparagment
The public catch the same unfriendly
feeling; no one passes over 1t unless
compelled to do so. The result is,
that this road presents the remarkable
phenomenon Of a steadily decreasing
passenger trafc which wasless the past
year than in 1853; the first year that 1t
came into use. What the roads need
is lift from the newspapers. 1t twou!d
cost the company nothing to gain their
good will. But should cost it twice
the amount that all the riding upon
free tickets would come to it would be
polite to make the outlay. The ad-
vantage would be twenty to one on the
side Of the road. We think the last
years receipts ought to be a pretty
loud argument in the premises. Ifnot,
we are willing that Mr.. Moran should
try his experiment year OF two longer.
No road can afford, rightfully OIL
wrongfulIy, to incur the Hospitality ofthe
public press, TO 1t our railroad com
panies owe a debt that can never be
paid. Without it our railroads could
never have been constructed. The
Erie is, more than any other railroad
in the U. S., the creation of newspa-
pers. Not cent could have been had
from the State, not a loan from the pub
lie, but for their good opinion. For
Mr.. Morgan or any other man, to effect
to despise them is to commit a mistake
sufficiently grave to threaten to destroy
the very work they have created"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1859-04-30

w A writer on "dress," who de-
serves hanging, says that ''young wo-
men should let their Judgment be seen
by the frugality and simplicity Of their
apparel" Our modern young ladies
are s'frugar' enough in some parts of
their dress, heaven knows; and as to
letting "their Judgment be seen" that
is resrly all that IL net exhibited
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1859-04-30
~- Here is a beer drinkers cpl

Beneath these stones
Repose the bones
Of Thesdosious Grim,
Who took his tew
Prom rear 70 rear,
Ua.il the BIZ tcek h.u
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1859-04-30

.B Jim, dld you ever double the
Cape of Good Hope?'
Il expect have"
"When ?"
''Last night, when I put my arm
around the cape that belongs to the
dress of = young lady whom ] have
good hopes Of making--Mrs. Dusen-
bury,
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1859-04-30
Willie, Dear.

As suns BY Christy's Ninstrels, With great op-
plauss
The weekly pioneer and Democrat. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. Territory) 1855-1865, 1859-03-31

The preparations have been made to ~.
port the great billiard match to come of
between Phelan and Seereiter, on the 18th
of April next, begin to develop themselves,
in the shape Of our Detroit Correspondence,
in another column, and our readers may re
ly upon being we'll informed as to the pro-
gress OF the matter, week by week, until the
end. All sorts Of reports have been flying
about, Of late, as to the capabilities and
practice Of the men, and some most prepos
terous stories have been told as to the scores
made in private play by both of the players
while engaged in their dali exercise Some
OF these stories have found their way into
print; and whether published on erroneous
information. and with good intentions, or
not, are calculated TO mislead those who are
disposed to bet. Bets on enormous runs
expected to be made during the progress OF
the game, are also reported TO have been
made ; but the probability is, that such bets
are entirely llusory. II, however, they have
been made, it only proves that there are
some people who are exceedingly green.
Great runs are seldom made at csrroms, and
most seldom made during an arduous and
important match. The contestants 10 such
matches play with exceeding care, and often
prefer to abstain from counting. with the
vicw OF leaving the balls sale" when in q
dashing private game, they would strike on
and continue 10 score. We would not be
surprised if the best run made in the graf
game OF the 18th of April, did 10, exceed
ouc hundred points.
Meantime, both championship OF New
York, as well "a he Of Detroit are busily at
work keeping their hands in. rather than
improving themselves at the game. Both
arr in tine health. and in really superb prac
,cc, and whatever may be said. one way or
another, by interested outsiders, TO affect
the odds, the billiard world may surely rely
upon one OF the b.st contests that ever took
place upon The Geld of the cloth OF green -
A, ptcsent. Seerciter is the favorte in De
trlot, and Phalen is the fayoritc here but
odds have been offered. either way, only in
'ew cascs,--Portey's SPIRIT.
The weekly pioneer and Democrat. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. Territory) 1855-1865, 1859-03-31
Mike Walsh.

The following sketch OF the life Oh this
Giraffe genius, We fnd 10 The New York
Express:
The birth place Of the Hon. Mike Walsh
has always been matter Of doubt, though
he claimed to have been born in the
Third Ward, where his father for nun
Der Of years kept q mahogany yard
lie was born in the year 1918, and was
consequently forty -four years Of age at the
time Of his death. Though be had no great
advantage Of education, he had great natural
ability, which 10 after life enabled him to
overcome what might have been q serious
defect. He was brought up to and learned
the trade Of litbogrspber, ct which hs was
considered one Of the best mechanics 10 the
city. The first shop at which he worked
was that Of David Felt, the Wholesale sta.
tioner. The first known Of Mr.. Walsh in
politics was in 1889, when he was brought
before the county nominating convention as
a candidate for the Assembly, and was elect
ed by handsome majority. In 1910, Mr..
Walsh published and edited weekly paper
called the Kniekerboeker, the existence of
which after few years was terminated by
the conviction Of the editor for libel pub
hshed in its columns. About the year 1916,
Mr.. Walsh edited another weekly newspa-
per entitled the Subt0ranean, which was
published for two or three years only. Ia
the year l845, Mr.. Walsh was nominated
by the Democratic party, and elected as q
member Of Congress, where be distinguished
himself by his very rough and ready re-
marks on oil subjects At the expiration
Of his term OF Office, Mr.. Walsh returned to
the city ard engaged in literary pursuits,
contributing several articles to the various
periodicals. In 1852, he was again elected
to Congress, and at the expiration Of his
term was sent by President Pierce, on q
secret mission to the Court OF England. On
bis return from Europe, Mr.. Walsh again
engaged in literary occupations till about
eighteen months ago, when be was sent by
President Buchanan on a secret mission to
Mexico in relation, it was supposed, to the
Central American difficulties. He returned
from Mexico about six months ago, and
shortly afterwards joined in the publication
OF small daily paper in this city, called
The EUenrng Sentinel, but which only lived
few days. Since then, Mr.. Walsh has
lived 10 retirement Mr.. Walsh's character
for honesty always stood high in the com.
munity; and although his habits and asso.
Citations estranged him from many Of his
former friends, yet this one sterling trait Of
his character was never denied. Though
his Walsh's) popularity was considerably
on the wane and nearly gone, yet the intelli-
gence OF his death was received with sincere
regret by all those who had known him in
his pslmy days. Mr. Walsh started out on
Wednesday evening in order to pay his re.
spects to Vice President Breckenridge, who
is now stopping at the New York Hotel.
He afterward lett there, it is said, to visit q
friend up town. The next known of him
was when officer Courtney found his body.
The affair creates considerable excitement
throughout the city.
The weekly pioneer and Democrat. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. Territory) 1855-1865, 1859-03-31

A Co>rUSEp observation-disclosures wears
ago, IN the New Hampshire Legislature,
new member, noted lor pumping thuu.
der, made 4 spcech--it Was upon a bill
taxing diyidcnds-jn which he attempted to
b. very pathetic in favor Of widows VITO
owned hank stock YES. Mr.. Speaker"
b. exclaimed ~ith indignant energy, the
gentleman from Dover, wao introduced this
p.ll, deaf TO the cries OF orphan children,
would strip ne U dotr" bu, before be could
conclude the sentence, h. was interrupted
by laugh. Astonlshei. bat undarnted
he EXCHANGED with profound feeling, ten
tlemen. il is not q subjec, Of der,sieo. |
spPeal 20 YOU in all caudor 10 say II it Is
rot worse than stripping ru, on this tax.
and YOU vii drive the widow 10 her las,
shin' Shouts Of laughter here p:ri6.si
him 10 bis place, and be ,pose no more dur
log the s,SS!on
The weekly pioneer and Democrat. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. Territory) 1855-1865, 1859-03-31

isfactory to bis partners, who are not also
to be made Baronets, is q question solely
for their own consideration.
The Atlantic Telegraph Company have
at length q new guarantee. 1t is To be
equivalent TO per cent. for rs years. The
shares which had fallen to 80, have there
fore advanced to 230.