Meigs County telegraph. [volume] (Pomeroy [Ohio]) 1848-1859, 1859-02-22
Git-8its.

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GE-"I'm getting .fot," as the loafer
sal d, when he was stealing lard,
A PATRIOTIC REMARK.-A man who got
tipsey at an election, said it was owing to
his effort to put down party spirits.
EwAn editor of Indiana was attacked
by man for some personal grievance.
The editor says: "ro avoid injuring him,
and prevent his injuring u.s. ace got om Of
Elte 4Uay." Sensible man that.
Ry-A woman's friendship borders
more close on love than mans. Men affect
each other in the reflection of noble or
friendly acts; while women ask fewer proofs
and more signs and expressions OF attach
ment.
EEAn inn-keeper, observing postil-
lion with only one spur, inquired the rea-
son. "Why, what would be the use OF
another?'' said the postllion: ''if one side
of the morse goes, the other cant lag be-
hind"
RE-The Buffalo "Republic," in com
mencing an account of fight, says:
''There was terrible row in the lower
part of the city last night, which broke
out in three languages-lrish, English,
and profane."
RE-"John,' said father to his son
one day, when he caught him shaving the
"Gown," off his upper lip, "don't throw
your shaving water out were there are any
barefooted boys, for they might get their
feet pricked."
AN EscApE.-"See therer' exclaimed a
returned soldier to IA gaping crowd, as he
exhibited, with some pride, his tall hat
with bullet-hole in it. ''Look at that
hole will you? You see that if it had
been low crowned hat shoald have been
killed outr ght.''
Eg-"Mamma, isn't papa getting rich?''
"Why, my dear?"
"Because every morning, when Bridget
comes to sweep the paror, he always gives
me a sixpeEse to go out and play.
Bridget received short notice to vacate.
E4yAn eating match is to come off in
Cleveland for the championship Of Amer
C. T e two contestants are to go beyond
the civ limits and eat mush and milk till
one of them bursts-the nonbuster to be
declared the victor, and receive the badge
of honor.
Eg-At a party the other evening, an
old bachelor named Evans was introduced
to beautiful widow also named Evans.
"Mr. Evans" said the lively hostess,
"allow me to introduce you to Mrs. Ev-
ans.' ."Fo Mrs Evans!" exclaimed the
spirited bachelor; ''why, my dear madam,
il is the very lady have been in search OF
for the last ten years'' The introduction,
We hear, was mutually agreeable, and we
now await the sequel, though the lady OBJ
jects to change her name.
EE-A fellow in Ohio, driving a crazy
one horse wagon, in crossing a ra ilroau
track was run into by the locomotive, his
vehicle demolished, and himself landed,
unhurt, about two rods from the scene oi
the disaster. The engineer stopped the
train to see if any one was killed, and dis
covered the victim on his hands and
knees.
..Well, FRIEND" said he, care you badly
hurt?''
The reply, Yankee like, was by another
question, long drawn out:
WilI-you-s-e-t-t-l-e now, or-wai
till-till morning.
A CRoss- EYED JoKE.-A butcher, who
was an.cLeu WIN Lhat obliquity Of vision
as stri.bismus, was about slaughtenng ;
bullock, and employed a liltle negro boy
10 stand by the bulls neck, grasp his
horns, and hold his head steady so tha
he. the butcher would have certainty o
Knocking him down. AS the butche
poised his axe in the air, he seemed to b'
i""kinG directly at the negro instead of th'
bullock.
''Look here, 'ook here, hosay, "eXclain. {
the darkey, with great deal of nervou,
prepidallon, ''i5 you gwin to strike wha
You is lCokin'?"
"Ofcourse. am, you black sconndrel
was the reply
Den you can get somebody else t.
hold de bullock" ejaculated the negro
"you isn't gwin ter knock dis child''
brains out''
The WEATHERi-Wednesd the 2nC
day of February was Ground Hog Day
Tie old animal came out of his hole at the
peep of day as all industrious animals
should dol he wagged his tail and looked
abroad for his shadoD-but it c'me not
even to the setting of tile sun-Old Sol re-
fused to shed single ray by which to
make the smallest shadow. Whereupor
ne raised a hoggish laugh and walked
abroad procla;mIng-yo that are without
ice must be satisfied TO take your grub II
the natural way. and you that are listening
for the music ni Sleighbe bells must be con
tent with cacking of geese and the croak-
ing of frogs-for 1 ay unto you, that cold
weather is ended and Al nature is laughing
at the prospect Of spring.--ET.