The Ashland union. [volume] (Ashland, Ashland County, Ohio) 1854-1868, 1859-04-20


could not presume to say.
"Oh, sir, do pity and relieve mel"
"How, my dear miss? speak your wishes, an
whatever friend of yours, and the betrothe
of Miss Emma Somerton can in honor do, shal
be performed"
ooh, sir, couldn't you act as my husband
little while?"
"Why could try"
"Weil, will you, then, my dear sir?"
"Why really, Miss Faulker, have no objec
tion--that is have no."
"Oh, sir, you hesitate, and I am losti but
sir, you know my fathers clerk, Edward Gamer
he, you remember, you were so jealous of twt
years ago, when you thought yourself in Low,
with me. Well, sir, he promised to meet IN,
here yesterday, and we were to have elopec
together, and been married; he has not arrived
but my father has; and we are torn asunder!-
Oh! consider my situation!
sHow can I relieve you"
"Why, father doesn't know who am going
to run away with; I left note on my table Al
home, saying simply with the man of my heart;
now. sir, couldn't you be he?"
"Withthe greatest pleasure imaginable; sc
let's boldly sally forth and meet the foe; stay
let me first unlock the door,"
"Oh. sir, how could you be SO imprudent as
to lock the door? What would the world say?'
Poor little dear! She was not aware that
the imprudence had been her own. AS she
opened the door, Mr.. Faulker was passing; he
caught glimpe of his daughter and rushed
into my apartment.
$50, Miss, you are found, are you? and with
the man of your heart, too!'
pardon, papa"
"Pardon you, Jezebel never, neverw
"Oh don't be so cruel papa" and my second
wife clung to me for protection.
now thought 1 had received my cue to
speak; SO turning to her, said ar1
"Never fear, 1 Iwillprotect you, most "Delec-
table of your sex be hanged!' was the fathers
echo. ~
"Come, SIR" rejoined I, ono protection con
be more potent than yorur gray hairs, and
your paternal rsla:on to my most beautiful
Julia; but if you forget yourself, shall be
compelled. however reluctantly to assert my
prerngative as this lady's future companion"
',Prerogatiye! your prerogative! and pray,
what claim can you ASSERT"
."Claim, sir--why that of her husband sir" :"
Husband what, already married"
"Yes, sir, when and where, my lovely Julia
can inform you"
And if she couldn't, am sure it would have
puzzled me to have done SO.
tMarried this is really sudden, and inter
feres materially with any arrangements; but as
It's done, why, 1 must make the best of what 1
trust is not a very bad bargain, aad-se, sirs
there is my hand-you are forgiven, and in
taking my daughter, you, sir, have found as
good girl as the State of New York can pro-
duce. suppose, sir, you can spare your bride
for few moments, and she will not begrudge
4 minute or two for the purpose Of putting her
fathers room in order, and making it as COM
Portable as she used to do the back parlor in
Broadway for me-"
A ready compliance, of course, was the
consequence, and father and daughter left my
apartment.
"Bigamy and poligamy r' thought as they
retired; s'well fer une has showered her favors
on me pretty literally this day; two wives! ha
ha! the dcnouement will be capital. ]
wonder on whom the laugh will rest 2"
A predatory rap, Simon entered again, with
news: "Oh, sir, sir! Col. Somerton's barouche
HIS just driven up, Miss Emma and her mother
in company"
"Who? Emma Somerton! Death and the
devil! here's a catastrophe: what will she say
No matter though am worse off than Macbeth,
Tor am tied to double stake, yet, bear-like,
must fight my course. Simon, let the family
know shall be pleased to give up my room to
them, which is one of the best the house af-
ords. and is much crowded"
My trusty valet soon acquitted himself of
lis mission, and Col. Somerton, lady, and my
OF sequious humble servant
The conversation which ensucd being irrele-
want to nay present story, 1 shall not attempt
to delineate, sufhc, it to say l was lounging
along one of the fashionable promenades with
Emma under my arm, and had almost forgot
ten, in the rapture of the unexpected meeting.
the two ladies who claimed my most tender
sympathies. I was acting as Ganymede to my
betrothed one, and handed her goblet OF
medicinal waters, when was suddenly reused
to action, by the approach from opposite paths,
of my two cara spouses, each under protection
of pa and papa!
'Oh, Mr.. Wheatly, 1 am rejo;ced to see you,"
said Mr. Faulker.
Nothing can equal my surprise and sat:s
faction" replied Mr.. Wheatly.
"My dear Julia, this is Miss Whcatly," con-
tinued Mr.. f.
"Susy, this is Miss Faulker," rejo;ned Mr.
W. .s11a
"Happy to make acquaintance" &C. This
was of course followed by mutual intimations
that it was mistake to use the term Miss
Miss no longer" said Mr.. T.
= 'Oh, you know all about it, eh? 1 cant't say
I'm sorry"
"Sorry-why I'm delighted"
fOh, you're too kind.''
''Well, don't you think him a fine fellow"
Certainly; but Susy, you must keep sharp
look out, for see how affectionately Miss Emma
Somerton is hanging on your husbands arm?"
"Your Susy's husband" rejoined Mr. F.,
"what do you meanw
@Meap, why, that that gentleman smy susy's
husband"
"Pooh! nonsense, friend Wheatly-this is
my Julia's husband" ~, So
"Your Juiia's ! tits my Susys"
"Your Susy's! it's my Julia's"
Emma looked at me; a sort of flash, such as
we denominate heat-lighting in the summer,
visible, but noseless, was gathering in her eye;
began to tremble for myself, as her arm
withdrew from mine, although my vanity was
gratiied to think that should be bone of
between two ladies, to be bone of |
my bone; but the young Julia and Susan cast
imploring looks upon me; at length broke the |
pause of universal astonishment.
"Mr. Faulker, my good friend, and Mr.. !
Wbeatly, my much esteemed good sir, promise |
me one thing, and will relieve all your |