The Hancock Jeffersonian. [volume] (Findlay, Ohio) 1857-1870, 1859-01-28
Pleasant Paragraphs.

A shipment OF "mess beef" lately
arrived a atSan Francisco from Australia
ha. proven, on examination, 10 be pick
led kangaroo.
A pretty woman is like great truth
or q great happiness, and has no more
righ, to bundle herself under green
veil, or any similar abomina.ion, than
the sun has to pu. green spectacles on.
A son Of the Emerald Isle, passing a
window in which was displayed some
gold fishes. remarked, "Be jshers! an
its the first time liver saw live red.
herring.
A new stove has been Invented for
the comfort of travellers: il is to be put
under the feet, with a mustard plaster
on the head, which draws tie heat
through the whole system.
Life is what we make il. Let us call
back iinsges Of Joy and gladues., rather
than those Of care and grief. Tho lat.
ter may sometimes be our guests to sup
and dine, but let them never be permit.
ted to lodge with Us,
"Why, DOCTOR" said a lady, "you
give me the same medicine you are
giving my husband; hOw's thar "All
right, replied the doctor, whats sauce
for the goose is sauce for the gander!'
Frederick the Great had five Libraries
all exactly alike, aud containing III,
same books ranged in the same order;
one at Potsdam, a second at Sans Souci,
y third at Berlin, fourth al Chariot.
tenbcrg, and fifth at Bre,luu. On re.
moving to either OF these places, he had
only to make note OF the page al,
which he had left off, to puruse il.wth.
ont interruption on his arrival. Ac.
cotIingly he always bough, five copies
Of the books lac chose 20 read.
LADIES Us. GrNTLrNES.-There nre
three things which a lady cannot do:--
lst, she cannot pass mlliner's shop
without stopping; al. she cannot SEQ a
piece Of lace without asking the price;
81, she cannot see Il baby without kiss.
ing IT, To this lady turns the tables
on the gentlemen in The following
There nrs three things which gentle.
man "c0nnot dO;-lsi. he cannot 20
/ through the house and shut the door
after him; "a, he cannot have shirt
made to suit him; 81, he can never be
satisfied with the ladies' fashions.
A PRorEsT ON TIcK.--Onc Of our
Louisville leading house. sold bill Of
goods to an Indiana customer on creGit
\ settlement by note at four months
was requested, to which the llooSier
idcb,or willingly asscntcd. "l}ut sup.
pose | don't pay this note when it falls
due!' inquired he. "Then.' replied
our merchant, ~ our note will be pro
tested. and your credit destroy cdl -
"How much will that cost" said la.
ldiaua. "Dollar and halt" tremu.
lonsly answered our friend. "Thcn,
look here, old fellow, just include Maf
amount in the note and pay 1t for me
when you get the note protested"
- Louisrilie Courier.
Whnt capital thing that was in
Baird. the celebrated artist. who met a
wei known writer OF New York on the
steps OF The Coleman House, at Gin.
cinnad. The auti.or is ms well known
for his general deficiency Of (uGds AS he
is for his general abundance Of brains.
I"How are you. my dear fellow said
Baird. shaking the new arrival by the
hand. "When did you get herc?' -
"Ju.t at this moment" replied his old
friend, the writer. "How long are YOU
going TO stay with u.'""A' lorg as my
money lasts" "Dear me-" said Baird,
81 was in hopesyou were going to stny
u day or lwo.'
TuE EyrERiEscE OF LrFE.-What a
fool I've been.
"You ,eem to walk more 6..cl lhan
usual, my lrend! ayes, | have been
slraghlened by circumstances.
Charley says; Experience is an ex.
cellent Schoolmasier. but he does
{ charge such dreadful high wages"
! Men, however poor should, not b,
slaves. Few men can afford 10 hav,
= lhoir own carriages; every man can al
, ford to have his own opinion.
: The man who undertook to blast hi,
: neighboI : prospects, used too short q
: fuse, and got blown up himself.
Nothing so completely battles man
who is full Of trick and duplicity, q,
straightforward! and simple integrity il
another.