The Alleghanian. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1859-1865, 1859-11-10
WITAHD WISDOM.

EE57 hlndnesS is the SOluen cndln py
which society is bound together.
rsa- Scrutinize a lawyer closely when
he advises you to avoid litigation, and a
doctor when he drinks your health.
la A Western exchange publ shes
piece Of poetry called pepper and Salt,
and heads it "'Seasonable Poem" :"
sA- If ''all the worlds stage, y many
a chap of our acquaintance would like
nightly to be the stage-drlver.
Eg~ "Never 90 where you wouldn't
like to be found dead, is q new maxim Of
morality, just before the people,
nsn- He who is impressed with good
principles when young, will never be en-
tirely destitute Of a sense Of virtue.
DSg- If you want an ignoramus to re
spect you, "dress to DEATH" and wear
watch-seals about the size of a brickbat.
rsa- A Philadelphia paper says of
drunken negro who fell down a cellar-way,
''his life was preserved by striking head
first"
re- \ bankrupt, on being condoled
with for his embarrassment, replied -
"Oh, am not at all embarrassed; it is
my creditors that are embarrassed"
nsa- Never strike your father unless it
be for ten dollar bill, and then, touch
him easy, square off, fib little, come to
time, les fly heavily, and bring him down
handsomely.
B9y- \ tipsy Irishman, leaning against
a lamp post a funeral was passing by,
was asked who was dead. Il can't exact
ly say, sir, but [ presume it's the gentle
man in the coffin
asa- \ young lady whose name was
Patty being addressed by Mr. Cake, ac-
cepted him on the condition that he would
change his name, declaring that she would
never consent to be called ''Ratty C0he.'
psa- A surly bachelor remarks that the
ladies' fashions, for the ensuing season,
/ show persistent determination in the
dear creatures, to crawl out Of their dres-
ses through the upper part.
sag- \ person speaking of drink he
once had occasion to imbibe, said that he
could not tell whether it was brandy or
torchlight procession going down his
| throat.
sea- "Got any ice at your end of the
table, Bill ?"
"No; but I've got the next thing to it
whats that ?'
"a severe cold"
nea. \ little girl about two and half
years old, seeing the elephant attached TO
the circus pass by the house, asked her
mother, who was standing by, '.what that
great Indian-rubber thing was, that was
walking in the street with two tails"
bey~ \ lazy, over-fed lad, returning
from his dinner to work, was asked by his
master, "If he had no other motion than
that ?" YES" replied the youth, draw
ing out each letter, ''but it is little slow
er."
nea- 1t is an old and true saying, that
a man should not marry unless he can
support wife and from some examples
that we have seen, we are beginning to
doubt seriously, whether woman can
prudently marry unless she can support Il
husband
Bsg- \ young man in Niagara having
been crossed in love, walked out to the
precipice gave one lingering look at the
gulf beneath him, and then went home
His body was found the next morning
in bed. \ very sensible young man, we
think.
BeS@ 1t has been nicely calculated that
the hairs on the top of dogs tail of the
average length of thirteen inches, (tail,
not hair,) are made to traverse 25,435
miles by the simple act of wagging, du-
ring AN ordinarily happy life Of nine years,
two months and eleven days, which is the
mean lifetime of dog
Rsa- Two distinguished philosophers
took shelter under one tree during heavy
} shower. After some time, one of them
t complained that he felt the rain "Nevel
/ mind, replied the other, 'there are pleH
0 ty OF trees; when this one is wet through
t we will go to another"
nsa- A green-looking fellow hailed the
Flushing omnibus-driver, as he was dash
ing down Pearl street recently, with
: 'Going to Flushing ?' eyes, said Jehr
e refining up his horses. "Wall SO Ittougl.tr p
responded the gawky, and passed quietly
y on.
HSE- When a young man steals ks.
/ from a Lowell girl, she bushes like
e "new-blown rose" and says smartly:- :
You darsn't do that twice more" TIL,
Il Boston girls hold still until they are wei
: kissed, when they flare up all at once. anc
i say: Il should think you would be