The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1859-09-29
A Fourth of July Yarn.

a Fourth OF July Yarn.
1t was customary some years ago In many of
the inland towns Of New England, to celebrate
/ the Fourth of July by sham fight intended to
represent some one Of the Revolutionary bat
Ties and Of course, yictories-eoie portion of
the towns people representing the Red Coats,
and another the Federal forces Below we give
the rich end Of an account, which we find in an
exchange. Of one Of those celebrations. a little
town had resolved to perform " the surrender of
CORVALLIS" Deacon Moses Jones, wealthy,
proud farmer, was chosen to enact Washington,
Squire Bier Wood, an aristocratic village law
yer, to perform CORVALLIS. But let the writer
tell his own story
The programme Of the days performance was
as follows: The two companies were to meet in
front of the tavern, ON the common, exchange
shots, skirmish little--in which CORVALLIS was
to be most essentially whipped, and then in
gloriously surrender.
At o'clock the two companies marched into
the village, and arrayed themselves into fighting
position, reminding the spectator of the time
when.
Brave Wolf drew up his men
In style most pretty,
On the plains of Abraham,
Before the city,
The two commanders were greatly excited,
and Washington, / regret to say, was in any.
thing but fit condition to act out the great
part he was to perform. He had been drinking
freely all the morning, and now when the in
teresting ceremony was about to commence, was
so tight or rather loose that it was with diff
Guilty he could set in his saddle. He, however,
did not know but he was all right, nor did his
men, CORVALLIS was not intoxicated but lit
tie agitated, or rather elated
Everything being ready, the company ex-
changed shots. Bang whang bang went
the guns, while the two commanders yelled like
stuck pigs.
That's it, [hic1 my brave boysl give it to
them, the audacious red coats, " beloved Wash
ington.
"On Romans I" yelled the excited Cornwall
lis, who had seen theatrical exhibition once
and who remembered the heroic appeals Of the
Thcspian belligerents; breathes there man
so dead that won't fight like thunder?D
eco 1t Continenta1s down with taxation on
tea = beloved Washington, in very patriotic
voice. and narrowly escaped cutting his horses
ear off with the flourish of his sword.
The fighting now ceased, the companies were
drawn up in straight line, and CORVALLIS dis
mounted and presented his sword to Washing
ton.
"Well o1dboy, said the immortal, as be cnfed
his horses ear with his cooked hat what'n
thunder do you want /"
"Gen George Washington replied Corn
wallis, e surrender up to you myself, sword,
and men.
''You do, do ye," sneeringly replied the Gen
eral.
Eyes General, said Corvallis the British
lion prostrates himself at the foot of the Aneri-
can eagle"
" Eagle EAGLE +" yelled the General rolling
off his horse and hitting the Briton tremen-
dous blow on the head with the fiat of his sword
" do you call me an eagle? Take that and
that and that " yelled the Infatuated Wash
ington "prehaps you'll call me an eagle again,
you mean sneakin' cuss /"
CORVALLIS was doacn but only for moment,
for he jumped up and shook himself and then,
with an entirely unlocked for recuperation on
the part Of fallen foe, and in direct defiance of
history, be pitched into Washington like thou
sand OF brick, and in spite of men of both ma
lions, succeeded in giving the immortal a tre-
mendous licking So the day that commenced
SO gloriously most dnglorionsy ended.
For many years after the surrender /" there
was q GOODNESS between the deacon and Squire;
but as time rolled on, and their locks became
frosted DER with white, they learned to call it
"ioke." Both are now living, and whenever
they meet they smoke ard talk about "that ar
scrape " like couple of good, jolly, old men, as
they are.
PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT. -" Oh, Jacob"
said master to his apprentice boy, /" it is won
derfu1 to see what quantity you can eat.
I" Yes, master, replied the boy; have been
practising since was child