Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1859-04-14
Shams.

pearances. Instead of striving to obtain
the best, we are content with the nearcs,
cheap imitation of it. We have abandoned
realities, and are grasping after their sha'
dows. We say, what is the use OF paying
great price for a sterling article, when we
can get something that looks Just like 1t Tor
little one? So we take the sham and re-
.lect the genuine, and then pat ourselves on
the back for our shrewdness and economy.
We have got the glitter, who cares for the
gold? The old proverb is musty and behind
the age We have run SO far ahead Of lis
fogyism in our fast way of doing things, as
to have discovered that it is the glitter which
makes the value of the metal. and not the
solidity and purity Of the gold within. We
have become wise "a serpentS. according Ia
the improved theory of wisdom-gettlng the
most for our money, rather than the best;
and it is to be feared We are not always quite
as harmless as doves in our way OF getting
it. for our wisdom sayOrs little of the quail
ity of that which was brought to bear upon
our mother Eve. There is a terrible twang
of deception about IT,
We build houses with fine brown stone
fronts made of brick, and covered with pain
ted and sanded plaster, marked off into chain
blocks; we enter them through oakcn or wal
nut doors made of grained pine, and pass
through vestibuleS foored with marble mos
sale made Of baked clay, and sit down on
yeneered sofas before scagliola marble chin
ney pieces and mantles made of enameled
iron. Over such mantes We place mirrors
in gilt frames, enriched with elaborate cary
ing made of composition pressed III moulda
and stuck Oh with glue. In one recess We
hang hundred dollar water color drawings,
that is to say, printed limitations which cost
ivc--and in another, handsome bookcases
with mahogany faces and pine bodies, filling
with richly bound blocks Of wood, Of assor.
ted sizes.
just now, pictures are fashionable: so we
60 to auction and buy valuable oil paint
ings" which are made al short notice, by
the quantity, and carefully selected" and
sold at prices varying from ten to twenty
five dollars, INCLUDING an elegant gilt
frame" We have them sent home without
any compunctious yi.itings of conscience
about the smallness ot the price; for that Is
the artists business, not ours; and we call
in our friends to admire them, preserving Il
discreet silence a. to their cost, which they
do with such ardor, that we begin TO feel II
little uncertain whether they arc not poking
fun at us.
The next time we get into an omnibus the
uncertainty is rcmoved-for as we glance at
the small gallery of art ranged above the
windows, we experience slight feeling of
surprise, of not the most agreeable kind, OF
recognizing the hand of the artist Tor one
of the same SCHOOL, who executed the re-
markable specimens which decorate our
walls We find that our bargains have in
troduccd TO us an extensive circle Of the
very Indifferent acquaintance of their own
class which we feel indisposed to cultivate,
and we begin to suspect that, if anybody
has been cheated. it is not the painter.
We scatter marble statues made of pain
ted iron along our garden walks. We drink
our coffee on great occasions out of imita-
ton Sevres china cups, filled from silver cof-
fee pots fanked by silver cream Jugs and
silver bowls, all made Of plated Albata, sit
ting in dining rooms covered with cheap car
pets of Brussels pattern. and lined with rich
oak paneling made by the paper hanger
We wear sham crayats on our nccks, button
ed surreptitiously under spurious front ties,
around false collars made of white paper:
and on our feet seli-compressing Congress
CATERS, with rows of de!usive buttons in
front, to convey the idea that they are fas-
tened in the legitimate way. We display
massive seal rings and fob chains, and carry
ponderous looking pencils. which are mar
vel0us for the space the small quantity OF
gold in their hollow bulk is made to FILL
Our daughters wear expensive point lace
adornments I'VE do not know their names
nor do we know much about point lace, ex-
cept that it i, some sort of net work OF IA
buous cost, made Of some more economical
material, and washed in some way which is
a great secret, 50 as to give them the yellow
ish tint supposed To mark the genuine arti-
Gle. They wear Canton Grape shawiS which
John Chinaman never saw. and Cashmere
shawl- manufactured ut Paisley and India
silks that never passed the Equator. and
furs that would astonish the animals whose
names they bear. it they could see them
When they the daughters, that is, are mar
ried, we give grand weddings. displaying
tables filled with extravagantly expensive
bridal gifts sets Of gold and silver spoons,
forks. fruit knives. tea services, neck laces,
bracelets. &c--touching tributes Of affection
from dear friends who are on our visiting
list. and have been invited to the ceremony:
and which. after the parade is over, are
carefully packed up. and-qul"lIy returned
to the cwcler from whom we hired them
This sham is going little ont OF fashion
since some indiscreet person exposed it,
But they still wear sham flowers in their
costly bonnets-that is in the little straw or
velvet caps they used to cover their back
hair when in the strickland sham bralds OF
hair on their heads in front of the aforesaid
bonnetS.
We scan the performers at the opera
through lorgnettes, hired at twenty-five cts.
IL night, with deposit for their safe return.
as nonchalantly rs if they belonged to Us -
We ride about in carriages hired 10y the year,
coachman with velvet hatband, big buckle
and large capped coat included, all got up
in the most elaborate style. We build
churches with stone front. and brick sides,
decorated on the outside with carved stone
brackets and cvrnces made Of painted wood
or cay, aud OH the inside with wall pauer
panels and painted recesscs, and rllusters
and mouldincs. half of whose shadows al
wavs fall the wrong way by daylight. and
by easlight become confusion worse con-
founded" We stick all manner Of plaster
cimcrackery oyer tho walls and ceiling. We
paint i deep alcoso behind the pulpit and
then neutralile the effect J., pnttlng 4 sota
AGAINST the wall where il is painted, ~ that
uban m. preacher sits down he has the con-