The penny press. [volume] (Cincinnati [Ohio]) 1859-1860, 1859-10-14
Know the Right Man.

In q southern clGy nved young, aSpl-
rant youth by the name of Kinson, who
possessed more pride and insolence than
wealth or sense. Understa nding that
there was a farmer living about sixteen
miles from the city, by the name Of Nc
Keever, of immense wealth and the
father Of two daughters, he formed the
design of becoming acquainted with the
family, if not ultimately one Of its mem
bers; consequently, one fine day he decked
himself in his gayest externals, and
started for the farmers mansion. On the
way his mind was full of speculations
upon the manner in which ,he should
conduct himself before Mr. McKeever; /;
upon the style of amiableness which he
should assume before the Misses Mckee
yer, and mode in which he should use
lofty and entertaining language generally.
Evening had nearly disposed Of the sun
in the west when he arrived in sight Of
Mr.. McKeever's. The scene was expan-
sive and delightful, extensive fields and
lengthy fences and lanes covered the
landscape as far as the eye could reach,
while the dwelling reared its painted
front high among the tall branching oaks,
which grew around it for shade and orna-
ment
Kinsons bosom swelled with glowing
anticipations at the wealthy and magniti-
cent prospect before him, and he was
anxious to form the acquaintance Of the
whole McKeeyer family. Seeing shah
by-looking man feeding hogs near the
road, he rode up to him, when the follow
ing conversation ensued:
8'Hellow, Mr.. Hog-feeder, is that Nc.
Keever's dwelling p
eyes sir" replied the hog-feeder.
'Are you his overseer2'
'No, SIR
"What the devil do you do thenP
''0h, feed hogs, and do other little
things about the farm"
swell, Mr.. Hog-feeder, old McKeever
has some dam'd tine-looking daughters,
hasn't he ~
"Yes, they are tolerable fine-looking
gals"
"Theywould like tomarry, too, wouldn't
they ?"
"Don't know, but expect they weuld if
they had q good chanceP'
"A good chance They can get me ;
don't you think I'd be good chance2"
"Well, they might think so-go and
try them"
"Dam'd if I don't, too; good evening
Mr.. Hog-feeder."
Kinson then rode up to the gate and
alighted. Seeing the old lady in the
piazza with her daughters, he thus ad-
dressed her.
"Good evening, madam. 1t is getting
late, and should like to have permission
to stay all night with you"
He was informed that he could do so,
and he very gladly took his seat till the
old gentleman should come in, as she in
formed him that he would soon.
He had not been seated but q few
moments when the old hog-feeder came
along looking after the things, and finally
came in and sat down. The old man
began to make himself perfectly at home
with the females. KinsOn was astonished
at what he considered the hog-feeder's
insolence but this astonishment was
much increased when he heard one of
the young ladies call him "Pa"
Just as he heard the hog-feeder affec-
tionately called pa" the boy was about
to take his horse, and he involuntarily
said 4:
"Boy, don't take that horse, think |
will ride on if it is late-good evening to
ALL
"Oh, stay all night" said the hog.feeder,
don't be in hurry"
Thank you, sir, | must co." mumbled
Kinson, and soon he was riding away
from the mansion of McKeever, cursing
all rich men who did not have the WAYS
of rich men, with marriageable daughters.