The Alleghanian. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1859-1865, 1859-10-27
NO. 10.
WIZARD WISDOM.
ssa Hungry men call the cook lazy.

ss- Hungry men call the cook lazy
asa- Why is the Mediterranean the
dirtiest Of seas ? Because it is the least
tide-y.
ssS- 1t has been said that to make
home happy, the husband must be some4
what deaf, and the wife somewhat blind.
nsa- The statute legalizing matrimony
at a certain age, is properly speaking,
maritime law.
1se- Why was Adam like sugar plan
ter?
Because he first raised Cain.
nea- Three things that never agree
two cats over one mouse, two wives in one
house, and two lovers after one gal.
Bs- "John, did Mrs: Green get the
medicine [ ordered ?" "I guess so.'' re-
piled John, "for / saw Grape on the door
the next morning"
nsa- 1--WE wear short dresses and pants.
or nothing," said the Bloomers in late
Convention. By all means, then, let them
have their favorite costume.
Esg~ What fades and what endures-
Mortal things fade; immortal things spring
more freshly with every step to the tomb.
-Buttoer L.ytton.
Ezg~ \ sailor who has recently returned
from Newfoundland, says that the fog is
so thick that he used to drive a nail in it
to hang his hat on.
rsa- Noah is thought to have had on
board a supply of "Exterminator," from
the fact that for nearly six weeks he was
without seeing Ary-rat.
rsa- One of our modest exchanges
speaks of "a lady who was bitten by a dog
''in a lower limb" What in the world is
that?
nsA- Mrs. Partington insists that to be
struck by lightning is shocking. Our in
sane reporter thinks that gathering sheaves
of grain together in harvest-feld is more
shocking.
gGs- \ short time ago the following no.
tice was stuck up at a tailors window,
near Manchester "Wanted, t,co appren-
tices; they will be treated as one of the
family"
R@- "NIa, didn't the minister say, last
Sunday, that sparks few upward 2" Eyes,
dear; how came you to think of it ?"-
Because yesterday L saw cousin Sally's
spark staggering down the street, and fall
downward"
Beg A young chuck" nowadays, is
curiously compounded; he has a bearer on
his head, goatee on his chin, kids on his
hands, calUes on his legs, (and doe-skin
also,) casts Sleeps eyes, and is looked up
on by his doeting duck as deer at any price.
s4~ 'Come, don't be proud" said
couple of silly young roysterers to two gen.
tlemen; 'tsit down and make yourselves
our equals" ave should have to blow
our brains out to do that" replied one of
them.
nsa. Great men make mistakes as we'll
as little ones. This was illustrated once
by Mr. Calhoun, who took the position
that all men are not "created free and
equal" "Said he, "Oniy two men were
created, and one of these was aoordn."
rs 'Charlie, my DEAR" said a loving
mother to her hopeful son, just budding
into breeches, "Charlie, my dear, como
here and get some candy" sI guess I
won't mind il now, mother" replied Char
lie, ''Ive got some tobacco
nA- A married lady being asked to
waltz, gave the following appropriate an
swer:
"No, thank you, sir-I have just as
much hugging at home as L can attend
to-"
"My friend" remarked sympa-
thizing individual to the possessor of an
inAamed occular, "youve got a sty in your
left eye"
"Yes," replied the other, looking sharp
ly at the speaker, "and hog in my right
eye to put in it,"
Bag Young ladies, if they knew how
disgusting to man slovenless is, and how
attractive are displays of neatness and
taste, would array themselves in the SIM
plicity and cleanliness of the lilies of the
field; or, if able to indulge in costly at
tire, they would study the harmonious
blending of colors which nature exhibits
in all her works.
A girl of good taste, and habits of neat
ness. can make more fascinating toilet
with a shilling calico dress, few ribbons
and laces, and such ornaments as she can
gather from the garden, than vulgar,
tawdry creature who is worth millions,
and has the iewe!ry and wardrobe of
princess.