Des Arc citizen., 1859-01-15
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

----ssI can't sec how you can set and eat, while your wife is so sick. "Why, my dear fellow, it is not that love my wife less, but that love pancakes more." ua S1;s
 The blessing of an active mind, when it is in good condition, is-that it not orly employs itself, but is almost sure to be the means of giving wholesome employment to others. a &s@N
 "A negro driver of coach, in Texas, stopped to get some water for the young ladies in the carriage and on being being asked what he stopped for, replied: s.I am watering my flowers"
 --Among the orders allowed at late term of the circuit court, of Evansville, In- diana, was one of s2,75, for washing and per- fuming one witness one day.
 --- The young ladies who rejoice in ia multiplicity of rings, chains, &c., to the un- paraleled extent now fashionable, should be labeled, like watches in the windows; warran- ted full jewclcd." We have read of a certain English clergyman, who, being engaged in . warm controversy with gentleman, was told that his "black coat protected him" oIt may be so," said the wrathy parson, 1but if it pro- tects me, it shan't you;v and throwing his coat over chair, he gave his opponent a thorough thrashing. 9s;
 - have often observed at . public en- tertainment, that when there is anything par ticular to be seen, everybody immediately stands up, and effectually prevents anybody from seeing anything.
 --A woman is either worth good deal, or nothing. Ifgood for nothing, she is not worth getting jealous for; if she be true wo- man, she will give no cause for jealousy.
 If you love others, they will love you, if you speak kindly to them, they will speak kindly to you. Love isrepaid with love, and hatred with hatred. a9Sa
 ----A pious old lady, preparing to go to church, was seen to take considerable quan- tity of fgold from her trunk, wrap it up care- fully and put it in her pocket. She stated that it was her habit, that 1t kept her mind steady ut her devotons, for where the treasure is, there will the heart be also.o
 ----When you arc whistling in printing office, and they say "loudcr," don't you do 1t
 -" " That motion is out of order," said the chairman of meeting when rowdy raised his arm to throw an egg.
 -- Magistrate What has brought you here, sir? Prisoner-Two policemen, please your honor. Magistrate Then, l suppose, liquor had nothing to do withit? Prisoner Yes, sir; they were both drunk. VT
 A person, who was recently called in court for the purpose of proving tha correct aess of . doctors bill, was asked if .sthe doc tordid not make several visits after the patient was out of danger?" sNo," replied the witness q considered the patient in danger as long as the doctor continued his visits.n M
 9----ss When stranger treats me with want of Prospect" said philosophic poor man, q comfort myself with the reflection that it is not myself he sights, but my old shabby coat and hat, which, to say the truth, have no par- ticular claim to admiration. So if my hat and coat, choose to fret about it, let them, but it's nothing to me-"
 Why don't men and women roll out of bed when they are asleep, as children dor Having got over that, please let us know why dogs always bark at full moon, and never at new one.