Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1859-11-24
Bit an0 Aumu.

4
PADDY AND THE TURTLE. In New York
man was 1arrylne live turtle along the
! street wllen along came an Irishman, followed
by large dog. The ccnrtryman tried by
gentle wordi to pet tho son of Emerald 70 put
his finger in the turtles mouth, but hs was ~
smart for that ,S-s
"But" says he. IN pit. NJ dogs tail in.
and see what the haste will do"
! He immediately called up his dog, took bis
tail ir his hand and stuck it in the turtlea
moutt He had scarcely got it in when Mr.
Turtle ah':t down Oh the poor dogs tail, and
of the latter started at railroad speed, pull
ing the turtle after him at a more rapid rate
than ever 1t lied Travelled before. The eonu
trynan thinking that his day;'s work ~onlt
| be thrown away if the animal shotild run ss
that rate turnel with sssHge lock upon tha
lriShman and exclaimed,
"Csll back your dog
Patrick put his hands ln.1 hi5 rockets.
| threw his head to one side, winl;ing and thel'
| answered with provoking sang froid
Call back yonr fish"
| A WEas7EntAx GaM.--The following beau,
| tiiul ge,n taken from one OF Webster 'sspeech>
es, should be. printed in large aud bold type
OIL thick card paper, neatly framed, and pac-
| eu upon Willis Vi efcIN StiiODIllOH'c IL biiS
| land, to shed forth q light upon the teachers
pathway, encouraging him to press OH in tht
| limperishable work In which he Ia engaged
| Iii we work on marble, It will perish: ii
we work on brass, time will eifsce it; If we
rear temples, they will crumble into dust
But if we work upon immortal minds, if We
imbue them with high principles, with just
| fear of God and their fellow.men, wo engrayv
| 81 h1ofo oorpnfbipo tyhcl M tifOy
eau eflace, but which will brighten TO s..
eternity,~
SIMPLICITY oy DEEss. .-Lovefess never
appears to 80 good advantage as when set off
with simplicity of dress. No artist ever decks
his angels with towering feathers and gaudy
iewcIrv. and ous dear human angels, if they
would make good their title to that name.
| should carefully avoid ornaments which prop
erly belong to Indian squaws and African
princes. These tinseries may serve TO give
effect on the stage or npon the bathroom
floor, but in daily life there is no substitute
for the charm of simplicity. A vulgar taste
is not to be diguised By gold and diamonds
The absence OF 4 true taste aud refinement
Of delicacy cannot be compensated for by the
possession of the most pricely fortune. Mind
measures gold, but gold cannot measure
mind A modest woman will dress modest.
ily, and really refined aud intellectual woman
will bear the marks OF careful selection and
faultess taste.
Dag y-Teacher-"Iiow many seasons are
there, Tom:'
Pupl--"Six sir; spring. summer, autumn,
winter, opera seasons and IhOmpson's Sea-
| sons"
| T.ocbar-GNeyt. ynu Peter
i Pupi!-"Thore are two more, sir; in sea
son. and out oi season"
Teacher-"That will do; both Of you may
now 60 up to the bottom OF tile class"
There is towr down east where the peo
plc are SO opposed to committing an asssI'it,
that it is with difficulty they can be persuad-
ed 10 strike II tune at church.
HY-"Say Sammy, why don't your mother
mend that rip in yoIr 0seecacsT
20, she's away to the sewing circle to make
clothes for poor children"
Re1"At baptizing in Virginia, the par
son dipping an old negro convert, dropped
him. The darkey foundered oat, putting
and blowing sat down on a stump, aud re-
marked, "Some gemmans nigga get killed
by dis luolishness yet.
gfy-An Irishrnan meeting q countryman
inquired his name Walsh" said The gen.
tlelnan. Walsh responded Paddy, 'are
you from Dublin? know tow ould maids
there OF that name waS either Of them your
mother.
nG-If you make love to widow who
has a daughter twenty years younger than
herself, begin by declaring that YOU though.
they were sisters.