The Council Bluffs nonpareil. [volume] (Council Bluffs [Iowa]) 1857-1867, 1859-10-08
1Erom the Cleveland Plain Dealer.
A PRIZE. ROMANCE.
fsKnEwERED BY ELEvIsG KoPY-RIGu1s(
MOSES THE SASSY,
A Tail of Blood and Things.
by ARTEMUs WARD.

A Tail of Blood and Things.
by ARrEMUs WARD.
CHAP. I.-MofEs.
MY story opens in the classic freestinks
of Bosting. In the parler of a aristocratic
manshun on Bacon street sits lovely young
lady whose hare is covered ore with the
frosts of II summers. She has just sot
down at the PLAINLY is singing the popular
peace called Smells of the Notion, in which
she tells how with Pensiv Thawt she won
dered by beet shore. Tho Son is settin
in its horrizen and its gorjus lite pores in q
golden meller fud through the winders and
makes the bootiful young lady twict as boot
iful as she was bed, which is unnecessary.
She is magnifsunty dressed up in Berage
basque with Poplin trimmins, More Antique
Edges and 3 ply carpetin. Her dress contain.
es II founders, brilliantly ornamented with
horn buttons, and her shoes are red moroc-
ker with gold spangles onto them. Present.
ly she presses her hands to her buzzum and
startz up in an excited manner. "Methinks,"
she whispers in clarion tones, | sse a
voice!" A noble youth of twenty seven
summers scrapes the mud from his butes in
the hall and enters. He is attired in red
shirt and black trowsis which last air turn
ed up over his butes, and his hat is bewitch-
inly cockt on one side of his classical he'd.
In sooth he was noble child. Grease in
its barmisst days never produced more gal
lanter herow than Moses. The young lady
gazes upon him for few periods, clasps
her hands, strikes q posishun, and rolln
her Ps wildly like expiring infantile cow,
cries:
CHA! Do my rs deceive my earsight !!
That frame! them store clothes those voice !!
it is-it is me own, me only Moses 70 and
he folded her to his hart. "Methinks |
shall swoon," she SEE, and pretty soon she
sWe ondid.
CHAP. H.-wAs MOSES OF NOBLE BIRTH?
Moses was foreman Of Ingine Kumpany
Number 40. The 40's had jest bin havin q
pleasant fite with the sos on the day in
trojucs Moses to my readers. He had his
arms full of trofFees, to whit: / scalps, 5 rs
4 fingers, ! ears, which he had chawed off,
etc., etc.
When Elizy (for that was the lovely
young lady's name) rekiverd from her swoon
sls asked,
"How hast the battle gone? Tell me!'
g. Elizy," sed the brave yung man, DRAWN
hisself up to his full hite, eve chawed 'em
up and smashed their old mersheen all ter
peaces ~
81 thank the gods % she cride. "Thow
didst full well, aud hence4th ware thee in
me hart of harris! And Noses" she contin
u lie, layin her he'd confdinly agin his weskit,
''dost know | sumtmes think that thow
wastest of noble birth -
No." SEE he, wildly catching hold Of his
self, "you don't say SO ?"
"Indeed do ~ she sed. 'Your dead
grandfather's sperret earnest to me the 9th
er bite and seq he, Moses is disguised
Juke!'"
'Yeu mean Duke,' sed Moses.
"Dost not the actors all call it luke !'
she sed, sternly.
This settled the matter.
81 have thought of this thing afore," sed
Moses abstractedly. " If it is so, then thus
it must be . b or not B-that airs the
question But no more of this now. Dry
up. o life-life, you're too many for met"
lie tore out some of his pretty yeller hare,
stamped on the floor wildly, and was gone.
CHAP. uI.-THE PIRUT FoILED.
Sixteen long and weary years has elapst,
sins the seems narrowrated in the last chap
ter took place. Anobel ship, the Sary Jane,
is sailin from France to Ameriky threw the
Wabash Canowl. a Pirut shipt is in hot
pursoot of the Sary Jane. The capting Of
the s. J. looks fateegd i rs tho he had lost
all Of his parunts. The Pirut is clost on to
him & he is about given in, when a fine
lookin Teller in russit butes and buttaler
0vercu, rushes forerd and sed to the capting,
SEE he.
"O!I man! 20 down stnres. Retire to the
STAFFORD bulhed. lie take charge Of this
Bote! -
"Owdashus cuss.' sed the Capting "awav
with thee or shall do mur-rer, der-r-r -
Scarcely" seq the noble Teller, and he
drew Il diamond hlted sword and cut the
ctptlng's he'd off.
so that | shood liv to becum q ded bod
dyH' sed the captIng, as he fell to the deck.
lie expired shortly afterwards, being fatally
k He'd.
"Peop'e. !" sed the noble Teller, cline the
Juke dc Moses !. -
cold boss. methinks thow art BLOWN 4"
scd youth Of 46 summers, and the Juke
cut off his he'd likewise. ''Dont print eny
verses on my deth in the newspapers"
screamed the unfortunit young man as he
fell ded on tac deck, ''fur if yer do lie liant
yer!"
"people ~ continered the Juke, 81 alone
kin save you from yon bludy and unpriuci-
Piled piruts What hoe thare! A peck Of
oats. p The oats was imejitly brawt. The
Juke took them into the towpath. In min
it the leadn boss hitcht to the Pirut Bote
cum along, stopt, and commenced fur to de-
YOUR the oats The driver swore and hol-
Tered at him terrible but he wouldn't bulge
q inch. Meanwhile the Sary Jane, her hos
ses on the clean jump, was fast leavin the
prut ship!
"Onct agin do escape detL.' sed The
jake between his clencht teeth, still on the
jib-poop.
CHAR. lv.-THE WANDERERS RETURN.
The luke was Moses the Sassy. He had
bin in France about lG years and now he
was home agin in Bosting. lie had sum
trubble in gettin hisself acknowledged as
Duke in France, as the Orleenz DYNASTY and
Borsbones were fernenst him, but he finally
conkered, and now he had crossed the deep
blue to get his own Elizy. She knew him
to onct, as one Of his ears and portion of