The weekly pioneer and Democrat. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. Territory) 1855-1865, 1859-12-30

"They make long and tedious discourses
and write them on long tables to be hanged
up in churches and chancels over the
tombs Of the great men and others, which
be so exceeding long as one must have halle
days leisure to read one of them, and must
be called away before he comes halle to the
end, or else must be locked into the church
by the sexton, as l myself was served while
reading an epitaph in certain cathedral"
While it was plain that they should not
be too long, they should not be too short.
Of those he had many examples; all os
which were selected from the church yardf
and cemeteries in the mother country. He
would quote few. One in Slepheny read
as follows
81 Here lies the body of Daniel Saul,
Spitalfeld weaver-and that's ALL"
Laughter. Another at St. Michael's
crooked lane ran thus:
''Here lieth wrapt in clay
The body of William Wray;
have no more to say"
Laughter. Another essential requisite
in such inscriptions are that they should be
true. Nothing could justify adulation,
falsity or satire. The following is to be
found in Chesire, written in l772, on Edward
Peregrine Estrell:
sis ths.his death bed no, it is his shrine,
Behold him rising to an angel,
Entering the harbor like gallant, stately yes.
sic,
He hoists his flag of hope
Through the merits of our Blessed Redeemer,
Riding before a stately gale of Atonement
Till he makes with all the sail of an assured
Faith
The happy port of joyful resurrection,
He lived in the fear and love of God,
and died in Christ.
Believe and look with triumph on his tomb"
In St. Edwards, Salisbury, there was one
on Swedenborgian, which ends in the
words:
"When gracious refulgence bids the grave
The Creators nursing protection be thine
So each perspiring Ethen will joyfully rise,
Transcendently good, supereminently wise.'
But if it were true that there should be
no flattery, there was no justification for
their being directly false ian example Of
which the lecturer cited,) nor for being sati-
rical There was an old maxim, De NOR
tuis nal misi bonuna," which should be adj
hered to in this respect. There was an
instance in the case of an old man named
Charters, on whom DR.. Arbuthnot wrote
the following
80, indignant reader
Think not this life useless to mankind.
Providence connived at his eXecrable designs,
10 give to after ages conspicuous proof
and example of how small estimation
is eXorbitant wealth in the
sight of God,
By his bestowing it on the most unworthy of
all mOrtals."
Among those unkind inscriptions he might
quote the following, which was to be found
Old Grey Friars, Edinburgh 3:
"Here snug in her grave my wife doth lie
Now, she's at rest-and so am L.
'' Beneath this stone, and not above it,
Lie the remains of Anna LOvett,
Be pleased, good readers, not to shove it,
Lest she should come again above it;
For twixt you and |, no one does covet,
To see this Anna LOvett."
Another in STEPPING runs thus
whether he lives or whether he dies,
Nobody laughs and nobody cries.
Where he's gone and how he fares,
Nobody knows and nobody cares
Another characteristic of inscriptions was
that they should be serious and solemn: no
trifling with the subject as puns, or far-fetched
allegories, or metaphors. He 1.-THE lecturer)
thought puns very good things in their place
Notwithstanding DIR. johnson; but there
should be no trihing with death. The first
he would notice OF this nature was in the
time of Henry ILL.,, on person named John
Calf.
"Oh Almighty God, have mercy on John Calf,
Whom premature death prevented from being
an OK
A very common thing in the Sixteenth
and Seventeenth Centuries was punning on
names. For example, the following, writ
ten in 1889, on Sir Richard Worme:
"Does worm eat worm? Knight Worme this
truth confirms,
For here with worms lies Worme, a dish of
worms.
Does worm eat Worme? Sure worme will this
deny.
For Worme with worms dish of worms don't
lie;
IT'S SO, and tits not so, for free from worms
'Tis certain Worme is blest without his worms"
Another was on Mr.. Cave, in Leicester {:
g Here in this grave there lies Cave
We call cave a grave.
II Cave be grave and Grave be cave,
Then, reader, Judge, crave,
Whether doth Cave lie here in grave,
Or doth grave lie here in Cave.
If grave in Cave here buried lie.
Then, grave, where is thy victory?
Co. reader, and report here lies Cave,
Who conqures death and bures his own grave"
In this category he would quote an in.
scription which DR.. Fuller left to be placed
on bis tomb-an extraordinary thing for
such man:
"H1e lies Fuller's earth"
Another
6. Here lies one blossom out of breath,
Who lived happy life and died happy death"
1t was also very much the practice to pun
on professional callings and trades, (exam.