The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1859-07-14
VARIETY.

VARIETY.
l4i S knife by which the ties Of earth are
Hh farce TO the rich, comedy to the wise, a
ri % the poor.
II i1zn upon you-as the extinguisher said tc
1shEght-
nas the vOrld-as the monkey said when he
bf his tail .
|,r,ai oldier-as the lobster said when he pop
Us head out of the saucepan.
Iza rlelancholy-as the cricket said to the tea
" We are all masfered-as the roast beef said
y Welsh rabbit
tll in perspiration-as the mutton chop said
zriiiron.
Trs shall eo-as the bullet said to the trigger.
E<ppears toe short TO be spent in nursing ami
iieor registering wrongs
Ne tet actions We never recompense, and the
rs s,s s1lom chastised.
Mr. he naked truth 30 seldom spoken, Be-
kf : barely polite
nsr are some mighty mean men in Wisconsin.
41fefu<es TO die, unless he can have the priv
waking to the grave
zi Il in 4 1T of abstraction-as the boy said
kE vas accused Of stealing peaches.
~ work for the eyes-as the devil said when n
tshss wagon went over his nose.
ASesnEat;vs writer undertakes to show what is
E,ly mans first employment. We believe that
|is business Of most human beings after coming
fcE E5rld is-milking-
aatful woman Is ike great truth or a great
r1ss. and has no more right to cover herself
rssn veil or any similar abomination than
za has TO put on green spectacles-
insi bull broke loose last week in the streets of
krla;i. and rushed furiously through crowd Of
mi boys. 1t was an instance of the knocking
nsa sore Of persons by a 5uii-rush-
ahn," said cockney solicitor to his son. ''I
Na never do for an attorney, you have no hen
skuse me, father," replied John, '-what
EssS@e Of your chickeRary."
SFan- lady sends us some verses, and says she
ne meter IS correct, as she has ''counted the
1ssrY Inc" But genuine poetess need
sas1i-her-fssf.
sz1E Fam said lately. elf half Of the girls knew
fssa1s Efe Of the man they marry, the list of
asis you'll De wonderfully increased;" and the
n Pls. ails that If the D,en could only look into
1ae lie Of the women they marry. the number
'ss'ae0rs would be greatly augmented; where
naay repins, g D5es tile editor OF the Post
1sa his own experience 90 The Post thus
Mk: "Oar experience of matrimony Is so
nA ,s0mplrei with Fanny-s, that We shouldn't
Hsran'el in speaking from it, As Hamlet
'aafs EOrmWOod w D. Pieayune-
rsner Narraguassf, which formerly piled
Hdningtcn and New York, was what IS
t":-ank" boat, and whenever she encounter
q Foast poke her nose under and take IT on
Vus nigat. ON her trip to New York, she ship
sae.y sen, which stove some crates of fresh cod
ssi On the forward deck, and bursting in the
'AA guarted the main deck, was in upon the
ssseagsrs- carrying with il an avalanche OF
the holy Saint Patrick :" exclaimed an
~ !. .ssianfsr, - he surveyed the effects Of the
se'es the divil, sure, hoU she scoops 'em
=, AnvrcE-If your hands cannot be usefully
:sa' attend to the cultivation Of your mind
PEAK the truth. Make few promises. Live
sI enslgemeuts- Keep your own secrets, If
when you speak TO n person look
ace Good company and good converse
Ss -,s very snews Of virtue. Good character
.a'ngs- Your character cannot be essen
- except By your own acts IL any one
~ - o. you, Vet your life be such that no one
= him. Drink no kind of intoxicating
-. 1ser Ts i've, misfortune excepted, within your
.nen you retire to bed think what you
& sio'ng during the lay. Make no haste to
d. yoa would prosper. Small and steady
competency, with tranquility Of mind
~ any game Of chance. Avoid tempta-
In. Sn Sy lear you may not Withstand it. Never
suns.n "a IN less you see a way to get out again.
a, -.,-.ss oeiore you spend it. Never borrow, II
~ ..'.s.o.y avoid it. Ds not marry until you
Import wife. Never speak evil OF any
me-. -. oe.0re you are generous. Keep your
ps V,-'. V1.. You would be happy. Save when
sa.,Se't 70 spend when you are old. Read