The Council Bluffs nonpareil. [volume] (Council Bluffs [Iowa]) 1857-1867, 1859-09-10

%" When is a lover like tailor? When,
be presses his suit.
CT. Advertisement by lady On the sha-
dy side Of forty" Lost, host Of charms.s
ev An earthquake is termed a "tait
specimen of ngus" in California. .6
CO All Classy men are invariably light
headed.
| CT 4 mental resery alton is that which
underiies a statement. ....-.t
Cy a dracghtsman must lead u check.
cred life. ....
CO 4 broken engagement is always the
precursor of a crysis.
( CT In these degenerate days character
is weighed with a 8 cash balance" .r-s
CO The sporting fraternity may DO
termed ".tast friends"
CT 81 speak within bounds,' as tho
prisoner said when addressing the jury from
| the dock.
Ey A frequenter Of public dinners COM
plains of the overwhelming quantity of dry
toast.
! syWho were the first astrologers The
stars, because they frst Studded the heav-
! ems.
CT The poor man who couldn't hold Sis
own has been arrested for taking anotber's.
CO. live by my pen, said vulgar au-:
thor to a lady" You look, sir, as if you
ought to live IN PEN" .....-s...
ey 1t may sound like paradox, vet
the breaking Of an army's wings is a pretty
sure way to makeit fly. a s
g By the use of eye glasses, you may
see rs much as is to be seen, by the use of
another kind Of glass, you may see twice
as much.
CT Ferocity is something assumed as
we'll as gentleness. There are as many sheep
in wolves clothing, as there are wolves in
sleeps. -..
CO When gentemanis seen often with
young lady. his intentions are apt to be
mis- construed.
cyFA ':retirins disposition is appropri-
ate only to those who have money to fall
back upon.
CT 1t is 10 more than right that men
should seize Time by the forelock, for tho
rude old fellow, sooner or later, pull ali
their hair out.
Individual contributions make up
the commonwealth. The governments ia
vor, however, secures. IN common wealth.
r57 Life is an auction where We hear lit
tie else than ''gong, going, gone He does
not always get the best bargain who makes
thai {" last bid - farewell.
CO A man in this city says he has not
exactly embraced spiritua.ism, but he has
embraced several of the mediums.
CT THAT'S the rock on which We split
said Charlie to his wife when she asked him
to rock the cradle.
cy= At the Worcestershire sessions re-
Gently the jury returned the following YER
dict. Guilty, with some little doubt as to
wether Re is the man."
"AEhere shall put this paper so rs
to be sure of finding it tomorrow " in
CURED Mary Jane of her brother Charles
$ On the looking glass;" was the promps
reply.
O. Why IS a young lady like billse
exchange? because she ought to be set
tied " when she arrives at maturity.
CT A young lady in the interior thinks
Of going to California to get married, rs shc
has been told that in that country the men
folks, Crooks the cradle"
CO g Pm afraid" said lady to her
husband, that | am going to have still
neck "Not at all improbable, my dear,''
replied the husband, ~ have seen strong
symptoms of it ever since we were married.
c. However unfrutfulin Gen. Dodge'a
opinion they may be in other respects, all
accounts agree that this year, the. Barren
and sterile Hills Of The Prairie,' will pro-
duce a frssrate crop of Republicans.
Cy7 4 vaporins Cincinnatian at til Ire
mont House, expatia,ng on the g. vine clad
hills etc.. claimed that the Ohio was tho
" Rhine of the New Werll.'
eyes," circulated ", "she pork,
Rhine. p Chicago Press.
co" The people Of Salt Lake are dissatis.
fed at the change made in their male arr
10 Vest.
They have more reason to be dissatisfied
with the threatened change in their feInal:
CO The New York Post says that Blon.
din's next feat at Niagara Falls is to be tn,
most astonishing of all. He will trundlc u
wheelbarrow over the rope and coiing it in
the barrow as he goes along !" Won't he
drink the river dry at the same time? e..
cy a country paper, r6ordins a COW
killed on railway, said it was 8 cut into
C llves." An astonished naturalist waited
on the editor for what uuctionecrs call fur
Their information. and rcceivrdit in the fol-
loving form " Erratum-For calves, read
halves"
Cg Napoleon sent for Fouc',c one day
in a great rage, and told him he he was i.
fool, not fit to be at the head of the police,
was quite ignorant of what was passing"
"Pardon me, Sire," said Fouche, 81
know that your majesty has my dismissal
already signed in your pocket"
Napoleon changed his mind, and kept his
minister.
70" We extract the following from let
ter by missionary in Syria, on the all abs
sorbing subject of the crinolne: 6 One day
an Arab from Ghurzug called upon US, and
said that he had seen II great curiosity at
Beirut. Said he, The French and English
ladies there wear large umbrellas under
their dresses. am sure of it. saw the
lfhnc- W0Ek. Anu WHICH Tue StvHOTNS pass
ed along. saw the merchants move away
their baskets and boxes in the narrow streets
to let them pass a.. '-.s .rz
ct If YOU are counting pretty girl i'm
parlor, and chance to be suddenly inter-
rupted, while whispering soft, low words in
her ear, by her mother or brother coming
unexpectedly into the room-a circumstance
productive Of great embarrassment and awk-
wardness-it is good idea to commence
instantly talking very loud and fast about
the weather, California news. etc., or else
to catch up a newspaper, which you can
have conve niently by you, and go to reading
it with all your might, as if you had done
nothing else for the last half-hour. Try the
experiment !; we now it works to charm.
Gg." The following characteristic anec-
dote of Aaron Barr " ties friendly cor.
respondent, CTS good enough, ! think, to
have found place in Mr.. Parton's memoir.