Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1859-10-28
FACT, Fun, AND FANCY.


a-days, are only tender shoots.
GF- What is the difference between a
woman and mad dog? One wears
hoops and the other pants.
ES- \ man went to the Judge to be
qualified for an Office. Said he, Hold
up your hand, IN swear you, but all
creation couldn't qualify you"
Bg- To be born with a silver spoon in
your mouth is very lucky; but twice
ihcky is he who can open his mouth
without betraying the spoon.
E4,- 1t is said that lady, on putting
on her eorsets is like man who drinks
to drown his grief, because in so-lacing
herself she is getting tight.
r. Personal responsibility is totall ii in
dependent of large income. It's greatest
secret is self respect. Poverty can never
degrade those who never degrade them
selves by pretence or duplicity
RE- \ LADY IN Chester was asked to
join Division of the Daughters of Tenn
rerance. She replied, Otis unnecessa-
ry, as it is my intention to join one of
the Sons soon"
GJ a negro on being examined, was
asked If his master was Christian "No
sir, he's member of Congress" was the
reply.
EFT "Seo here, Gumbo; what would
women do without men 2"
Gives her up"
Why, they would all take duck fits,
turn grass hoppers and fight june bugs"
R6'- There is a man il Algiers who
tells such good stories that his friends say
1t is dangerous to walk with him in the
forest, for the hyenas come round him to
laugh.
Efs- A married lady in Loudon coun-
ty, Virginia, is said to weigh five hun
dred and lifty-three pounds. Her hus-
band is O great lady's man,
Gg- a pedagogue was about to fog
a pupil for having said he was fool,
when the lad cried out, "Oh, don't I
won't call you so any more I'll never
say what | think again in all the days Of
my life ?"
GFs- To be always intending to live a
new life, but never to find time to set
about it, is as if man should put off
eating, and drinking, and sleeping, from
one day and night to another till he is
starved and destroyed.
Es9' The will of Joseph Miner, de-
ceased, leaving a property of $50, 200,
to three sons, and cutting off four other
children with from IS to $1C0 each, has
been set aside, in the Fayette Circuit
Court, Indiana.
Ets- "Ginger? ?" "Sah." "When
am dat great race to come off, dat dare
is so much talk about 2" "Nhat great
race, Glen? hadn't hern OBJ no great
race" "De human race-de human
race--dat is to come off afore long!"
E4r Lord Byron once said, "You
never know a mans temper until YOU
have been imprisoned on board of ship
with him, or woman's until you have
married her -
PICTURE OF AN EDIToR. The Maripo-
50 (Cal.) Star thus describes the per-
sonal appearance of Horace Greedy -
"Ho does not look like vegetarian
wears specs-always declines to drink
never smokes seldom swears and,
among other peculiarities, seems to be in
devil Of hurry to get back to New
York
Ex- Mr. Foote had said he would write
little book in which Mr.. Benton should
figure very largely Mr.. Benton heard
this, and replied, in his characteristic
way, to the informant:
Tell Foote will write a very large
book in which he shall not figure at all 3"
The Thirty Years" show how faith
fully the promise was kept.
ES- Talk about mean men," said
old Fox; why there's that Bill johnson,
he's the meanest man l ever heard tell
on. Bill was constable here Why,
don't you think he had an execution
against me for little matter Of groceries
and he came out and levied on my old
womans ducks, and wanted me to drive
'em up and catch 'em for him, and told
him to catch 'em himself, and so he
chased 'em round and round the house,
and every time he'd catch duck he'd sit
down and wiring its head off, and charge
mileage.'
FERDANcY IN INDIASA.-An insurance
agent IN this city, a gentleman well and
iayorably known as a man Of truth and
yeraeity, tells the following, in illustra-
ton OF the verdancy Of gentleman in
Pike county. Ind, with whom he had
effected policy Of insurance
In the list of printed questions in the
companys blanks, there is one like this:
"Ashes-how kept?" The pike county
gentleman was burned out, and after the
fire discovered this question in his policy.
and, resolving to make assure thing Of
his premium, wrote our Informant some.
thing in this wise: Dear Sir-I was
burned out on the-day Of -, ana
according 10 yoar lars, hare kept N,
ashes They are in barrels, what shall
! do with them p Pcoria Union.