The Grand Haven news. [volume] (Grand Haven, Mich.) 1858-18??, 1859-11-16
Miscellaneous Items.

- Let q man do his work; tho fruit
of it is the care of another than he.
= A friend of ours says lawyers as a
general thing are very feeble men.
= Fly in all haste from the friend who
will suffer you to teach him nothing.
-" Pm transported to see you," as
the thief said TO the kangaroos.
= A fire is like pretty woman-neg-
lect in the least and your reliance is gone
- The poorest education that teaches
selfcontrol, is better than the best that
neglects it.
- A man can't avoid the companion
ship Of his own conscience, so he had bet
ter make il his friend.
- Convince man Of his error, and
he will thank you; convince a fool and
be will insult you.
- The difference praise men for
fighting, and punish children for doing the
same thing.
- Mr.. Everett's head is said TO be
several inches larger than that of any 9TH
or man in the country.
= The cloudy weather melts at length
into beauty, and the brightest smiles of
the heart are born of its tears.
- The produce this year of the vine
yards on the Ohio River, between Rural
aud Maysville, is l54,5 gallons.
- Matrimonial history is narrative
of many 'corls, but tho story of love my
be told in few letters.
"A Frenchman wishing to speak of
the cream of English poets, forgot the
word and said, "de butter of poeis."
-" Pleading at the bar" says an ed
itor, "is trying to persuade the bar keeper
10 trust you to three cent nipper."
al don't think, husband, that you
are very smart" No, indeed, wife; but
everybody knows awfully shre'Od,"
=" "Sally, what time do your folks
dineF y As soon as you go away, that's
Missu's orders"
= How few adopt the good rule of
Bishop Beveridge, not to speak in dis
praise of one who is absent, or in praise Of
one who is present.
- A home without a girl in it, is only
half blessed; it is an orchard without
blossoms, bower without bird, and a
bird without song.
"Sir," said colporteur 10 hotel
proprietor, "shall l leave some tracks
here's" EYES," was the reply, "with
the heels this way"
- Lowe, the balloonist, has received
about five hundred applications for the
privilege Of vonturing with him on the
attempted trip to Europe.
- When you negotiate for house
having all the modern improvements, you
will generally find that mortgage is one
of them.
Mrs. Partington wants to know, if it
were not intended that women should
drive their husbands, why are they put
through the bride ccremonyl
- Hon. +. P. Blair, of Missouri, we
are told by the Republican papers, has
just emancipatcd "boy" and mother
and three daughters--all his own.
= There are truths which some men
despise because they have not examined
them, and which they will not examine
because they despise them.
A man being awakened by the Cap
tain Of the boat, announcing that he had
got into bed with his boots on, very con-
siderately replied: Let 'cm rip; they're
an old pair; the bugs won't hurt 'em."
- A good man who has seen much of
tho world, and is not tired of il, says
"The grand essentials to happines in this
life, are something TO do, something to
love, and something to hope for"
- One of our exchanges advertises for
two compositors who don't get drunk,"
and adds that "thc editor does all the
getting drunk necessary to support the
dignity of the establishment"
A friend of ours was congratulating
himself VI on having recently taken very
pleasant trip. Upon inquiry, we learned
that he had tripped and fell into a young
lady's lap.
any son, havn't l told you three
times to go and shut that gatep said a
father to four year old. EYES," said
Young America, "and havn't | told you
three times that wouldn't do il? You
must be stupid!"
- A young man at Margate, having
beon crossed in love, walked out to the
precipice, took off his clothes, gave one
lingering look at the water beneath him,
and then went--homel His body was
found next morning in bed.
- Mr.. Meryman Lathrop says when
he went on the steamer to California,
they kept the chickens in the hdtchway,
tho beet in the buiiwarks, near the steer
age, and when they ran out Of eggs tho
ship lay too.