davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1859-04-02
Phunnygrnphs.

STUDYING IATtN.-Wo have heard Of %
farmer whose SON had for a long time been
oScnsibly studying Latp.in a popular n
cadcmy. The farmer noEhciug perfectly sat
isfcd with the course sd conduct of the
young hopeful. recalled him from school, and
placing him by the cart, one day, thus ad-
dressed him -" Now. Joseph, here is fork,
and there is a heap OF manure aud cart
what do YOU call them in Latin ?"-" Forki-
bus. cartibus ct manurhus," said Joseph
"Wcll, now," said the old man, il You don't
take that forkihus pretty quckohus, aud
. pitch that manurihus into that cdrtinus, III
bFpHk yuur luzy hBehhhas. - IoGcph -wGntI 10
workibus forthwithohus.
What did the feather. when it first sprout.
cd, say to the duck? I'm do,en on you this
time
Tom Murphy has such excellent spirits
TINT he has only to drink water to intoXicate
himself
II seems paradoxicnl, but it is nevertheless
true, that the latest intelligence always con-
sists of the earliest news.
THE LADIES PLAQUE" Burn the crno-
. line -" Yea. my dear, 'rs all very well 10
say, burn the crinolmei but suppose you are
in III"
WANTED-A pair of scissors to cut ca
per The pot in which n patriots blood boil
ed. The address of the ooniectioncr who
makes "triles light as air." Aud o
short club broken off the square root.
A well-known author orce wrote an article
in "Blackwuod," signed "a. s." "Tut." said
Jcrrold. on reading the initials "what a pity
he will tell only two-thirds of the truth :"
An outside passenger on coach had his
hat blown over a bridge into the stream.
True 90 natHro," said gentleman who was
seated beside him, "a bearer naturally takes
TO the water |EV|N&
A CONSTRUCTION THAT'S JUST LIKE MAN
When woman can faint, and has capital
opportunity for fdinting, and yet doesn't
faint, You may bc toernbly sure that she has
some other fcint in yicw - Pmch.
Most kinds of roots aud bark nrSSTiiow used
ms medicines except cube root and the bark
of a dog.
What is the difference between an attempt
.eI homicide and hog butchery? One is
nn assault with intent to kill, the other is
Kill with intent to salt.
"John, did you ever bet on a horse race p"
"No. but I've seen my sister Bet on an old
mlre!"
YANKEE Rusr1crTY.-A story is told of a
heard a churchman preach. He had read
much oG1he pride of the church, aud when
he returned home-"Pshaw !" said he, "pride
pshaw why, the minister actually preached
in his shirt sleeves
WHERE IGNORANCE Is BLISS, IT'S FOLLY To
BE wIsE---ln n church mot quite a hundred
miles from Lynn person entered a pew,
and, believing he had got good seat. un-
fortunately sat Gown upon the dress of a la
dy who happened to be rather highly crino-
lined. In an instant he rose to his feet and
begged the lady's pardon in these words -
"Your pardon, mem; but I'm feard I've
broken your umbrella. wrong
said the lady, blushing.
An uncle left in his will eleven silver
spoons to his nephew, adding, "lf have not
left him the dozen, he knows the reason"
The fact was, the nephew had some time be-
fore STOLEN spoon from his relative.
Juries, like guns, are often "charged," and
bometimes with poor ammunition.
The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1859-04-02
For the calcdonian
swOOt Mary---tho Star that is So

on on the banks of the broad AllrPhnny.
| wander alone az the close ~ the day,
And ponder with pride ON the loved ones sn many
That made my lies spring'Iimc 30 buoyaut an'
gay,
Swcstly they smile, a. io DAYS that are vanished
Their looks and their tones can never forget
but all there was ono, by whom otsrrg are ban
ishcd -
Sweet Mary the star that l. set
Mary the flower that Plis,encd so brightly,
Like fair primrose ia springs early time,
or a. lonc star that spntklcs out nightly,
Aht In the blue uf the heavens sublime.
| loved hcr-ah yes, To me Nhc va nearer
Than all else beside, land her memory vet
I4ngcrs around me, than others far dcarcr-
Sweet Mary-the star that is set,
Though she has gone, she has not an faded.
Her light II tran nsplantrd to Heaven above,
And. though upon earth my being Is shaded,
lrWill meet her again, aud tckiudlc it's love,
Far far IN the blue, star that Is lonely,
My vision brholds her, as lovingly vet,
A. when IN my youth time Worshippcd her only ,
Sweet Mary-thc star that b. set.
Mnyra, n.y., March /, 1859,
The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1859-04-02

A BARON MUNcnAusEN AT Pixies PEAK
About the tallest specimen of lying that has
lately come under our observation, VIC copy
from an exchange. 1t is ns follows
young gentlemen afflicted with the Pike s
Peak fever will be interested in the follow
ing statement from reliable gentleman in
the new FL Dorado, Of the manner of gather.
ing gold in the diggings. A man takes a
frame work of heavy timber, built like stone
boat, the bottom of which is composed Of
heavy iron rasps. The framework is hoistcd
up to the top of the Peak, and man gets on
and slides down the side of the mountain.
AS he goes swiftly down, the rasps on the
bottom Of the framework scrape of the gold
in immense shavings, which curl up on TO the
machine, and by the time the man gets to
the bottom, nearly a ton of gold is following
him. This is the common manner Of gather
ing it."
The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1859-04-02

THE GIRLS OF l77s.-A paper Of the revo-
lutionary period records the following droll
incident near kinderhook, New York A
young fellow, enemy to the liberties of
America, going to a quilting, where a num-
her of Young women were collected and he
the only man in company, began his asper-
sions on Congress, aud held forth some time
on the subject, ill the girls, exdsperuted at
his impudence laid hold of him. stripped him
naked to the waist, and instead of tar, covered
him with moasSes, and FOR f athers took the
downy tops of flags which grow in the mead
ow, and coated him WELL and then let him
go. He prosecuted every one of them. The
village parsons daughter was concerned in
the affair.
The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1859-04-02

ION pRINTING,

Our Printing establishment WaHncycT lu better
condition than now, and Increased attention VII
be- given 90 this branch ~ buslnrss. We keep
constantly on hand Paper aud Card STOCK and are
upH prepared 90 pfilt I4HaLill4, fnEmmmrs,
A lction huls bil Heads, labels, Circulars, hubi-
hrss aud Wedding tards, &c, Sc, a. short notice.
Orders by mail all be- carefully attended 60, aud
The work forwarded with drsuatch.
The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1859-04-02


kEEP' TIE BOYS Ar HoME-In the circuit
court of Chautduque county, New York,
eight or ten young men were sentenced to
the penitentiary for then, burglary and other
crimes. Before passing sentence, Judge
Marvin inquired of each his birthplace oo-
cupa;iou and the temptations that had led
him into vice. All Of them had been brought
up TURNER'S, and had gone to ;eaming. or TO
taverns, or some other business exposing
them to temptation, and had learned to drink,
career Of crime. Having finished his address
to the criminals, the judge turned to the
spectators and said
"i3erofe sentencing these hoys, have a
few words to say to the men of Chautauque
county, the agriculturists in particular, some
of hom are here to-day looking on the sad
dest scene it has ever been my lot to see in
this county 50 many boys, farmers sons too
all of them TO he sent Ia the penitentiarv for
stealing aud burglary. Farmers of Chnu-
tauque county, when Your boys get large
enough to work, find work forthcm ut home,
on no account let them 20 into tie city or
village TO work, nor let them go To tcaming
| care not il they can get fitly dollars per
month, ii will he dead loss They will just
as surely follow the example of these boys
now before you as they leave the sacred and
restraining influences of home. Give them
plenty Of good books and papers, make home
pleasant, aud keep them there until they are
Of age and have the wisdom to resist the
temptation of the high wages on the road or
in the tavern, but ohtained at the expense of
COED character"
The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1859-04-02


ANrcporE on MDoNALp CARKE mn
MAD PoT-Eyepbody remembers MDou,
aid Clarke, who was well known Ia New Hfrt,
q few years siWre, as the Mad Poet" Dur,
/ Ing the last year Of his life Clarke made free
Of tho Aslor House table, aud oheolmes
This errant man Of genius could be seen 90.
ospl'ng he hospila1,es when other door.
/ were closed on his fallen fortunes Every
one knew Clarke by sight and one day
while quietly taking his dinner, two travellers
seated themselves opposite, and commenced
q conversation intended for the ears of Clarke,
I Que said '-
Wei, have nov been In New York two
months, and have seen all wish to see with
one esceptont"hh
"Ab" said M other what II thatP
"MDouald Clarke, the great poet" re-
sponded No. !, with strong emphasis,
Clarke raised his eyes SLOWLY from his plate,
land seeing the attention Of the table was on
him. stood up, placing hi, hand over his heart,
and boViog with great gravity to the srang
rrs, said g.
q" / nm MDonaid Clarke the great poet"
The travellers started in mock surprise,
gazcd al him in silence for few moments,
then amidst an audible tiucr Of the compa-
~, drew from his pocket quarter Of dol
lar, and hSing It before Clarke, Nil looked
at him without smile, Clarke raised the
; quarter in silence and dignity, bestowed il
in his pocket, drew thence a shilling, with
these words ,--
"Children half price"
The litter changed to a roar and the tray
elcrs we're missing iustanIcr,
"TAMNG IT CooIIY,"--As specimen Of
taking It coolly" We do not know ofanything
richer than thisi
Mr. Barnes, wife and two children, his
niece and another young lahy, with the wri.
ter, formed a party leaving Memphis for
Clnrksyille, Tennessee IN the beginning Of
tho summer 1857. Arriving at Smithlaud,
wc were compelled to take q smaller boat on
account cG the extreme lownc@ Of the Cumb-
crnhd River. Such was found In the Ne,lic
Miller a very nice little stcrnvhrccr. We
'''' l'''N'NhiNR wv Nhl Nsl l'JNlNlNFt WIN
suddculy We were thrown out Of our nests
and brought up all standing in the middle Of
the 'tate-roomM An the gentlemen rushed
out in dishdIWc to learn the trouble, and
we're frankly told by the captain that our
boat was badly suuEged, and would sink in q
few minutes Mr. Barnc, few with alarm
to his vii, and the young ladies, seized his
children, deposited them safely in wood
bont which the Neliic had in tow and ran
back.
Surprised not to see any Of the ladies out
yet he rushed to his Nirc's room aud found
her qpietly washing ber face and hands.
"Why my dear the boat will sink In less
than three miuutcss,"
"Well," she replied, 81 think can be out
before that time
Dragging her along, he rushed, almost
frantic with excitement, to the Young ladies'
room, and found them very quietly eombing
their hair.
"For heavens sokc?' says he, "what do
yeu- -nran The hnni viii will sink in two
minutes,o and hereyou are combing your hair ?"
"Why uncle" says the niece 'you didn't
expect us to go out there before all those
young men with our hair in this fx,-did
you'"
The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1859-04-02
Agenta for The Caledonlan.

" Ia any ~ uc above, OF iu other towns,
payments may be- made, w-ieu more convenient
lo the Pustmhstcrs thereof, or the amount may
bo sent directly 90 this office but we must insist
on settlements every year,
The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1859-04-02

An uncle left in his will eleven silver
spoons to his nephew, adding, "lf have not
left him the dozen. he knows the reason"
The fact was, the nephew had some. time be-
fore STOLEN spoon from his relative.
Juries, like guns, are often "charged," and
Bometimes with poor ammunition.
The independent. (Harrisonburg, La.) 1853-18??, 1859-06-22

No. ti3.-- Ordinancs for repairing a 5r'dg
uc,oss COckerAam's crsek.-Bs. it ordained
&C., -TbAt the sum Of seveniy-five dollars b.
and the same is hereby appropriated fol
flooring, Cannestering ]. and repairing tbs
bridge across Cqckerham's creek, on the
Nalclitoches road, ne1test the head Of Lit
lie river, and thqt -4t-aLe, and they are
hereby appointed commissioners to let onl
and supcriatend ths work.
No. 81. -0rdiaSyca( zy0w;ng A. r. Hen
dry to change hbaa. Bs iaprdained, DC.
That A. R. Hendty DO {nd ~ is, hereby al
lowed to change the prelenE1oai running
through bis lsn.lSon S;ctly'Island,as follows
10 commence fro1 ethe creek and run on The
tea, Range ea q The ctfaer between
sections 8 and = nd sections SO and 81
and to run 1JOm jsence albeit An equal dis.
.tanceSfrom the old rodd across the field
4 then TO change and intersect the old road,
before il pssses through TIL goods to the
land belonging to these statsIf Burrell E
Johpsen.
No. q. -ord;ni5e 4fss ffeGs. 81
physician 10 the Pd{5 9'sisdss: =! Be it or
dained, &C.. That au,oSfce bacfeEed which
shall be styled "The Office Of Physician to
the pubic, prison." the Aalafy tdsAe forty
doQan pr year, not hS increased or d
minished during the term Of Office Of the
incumbent, the election. of such oficessto be
held at the regular meeting in June, the
sslary to be payable quarterly
No. SO. Ordinance changing road district
No. 24.-Bc it ordained, DC, That road dis
trict No. "a she divided as follows, from
Green's creek u David Phelps be one diyi-
sion, that III the hands on the east side Of
Hemphills creek, Including James Bakef,
he placed on that end Of the road, and from
David Phelps 10 the clear fork Of Trout
cr5Sk the other division, and all the hands
ON The west side 70 wort pm said cross
road to Trout cseel
No. 81. Ordnance placing certain hands
on road district No. 20 isstead of No. %.
BE it ordained, &c. THAT Bradford Zeigtsr
and hands Darling Cassels, and G.. j. Mulky
be appointed to work on road district No
20 instead Of No. %. IS l,estofore.
No. 60. Oydiaunrs plucisy 1ands on
Roud Dissrirts No. 38.-Be it ordained DC.
That 10 accordance with prayer Of petition
ers the hands residing between Jason O.
Meals and Frank Berry, and all the hands
north Of the Gilmore road up to the Natchi-
toches road be appropriated to Road Dis
trict No SO.
No 90. Ordnance estnbl;sk;n1 Rood
The independent. (Harrisonburg, La.) 1853-18??, 1859-06-22

NO oOs VSUSO0UCc 5GtattCG 70 x>FtU0H La.
vees.--Be it ordained DC. That any owner
or owners Of land in this parish may con-
struct levees on, or around their premises for
their own protection, and wherever any per-
son or persons, ahall have thus protested
their lands. they shall be exempt IRON any
Parish, OF District leves tax, provided their
levees are made one foot higher THAN the
high water mark Of 1880 and provided fur.
ther that said lands arc not included in
leves district At the time Of tho passage Of
this ordinance.
Be- i further ordained &c. That owners
of lands in this parisA may construct lssees
and join 70 levees already constructed, pro-
vidsd, said levees are made ops lot higher
than the high water marx Of iS5o, viii
corresponding base.
Be it farther ordained &c. That any Der.
son % persons who may cut o. damage 4
private levec or levees ia this parish, shall
te held liable to the penalties prescribed ~
New-York daily tribune., 1859-02-01
Personal.

Mr.. Robert Bonner, editor and proprietor Of The
Mr. Yc,k Ledstr, is evidently man OF genius. His
latest novelty appears in his journal OF tbs week, in
the form Of the following announcement:
Ro,srRs American PoEIs-Mr. c. A Dana Of this city,
has ec rty ubished volume entitled Inc hoasehold BOOK
of Fo,tIy general has s'sI spon "a mer'i
Tbsc h feeling of cisEasaction tls m.ny of
ON, most regular poets wholly exeuoed nom the book
Counrin,, on this souud heard from every quarter 30
g. ~. elected poets Of ihs county ale EcTnsd, We
nooe 20 Go ,omethns toward seng the matter right We
ba shortly ue az e, volume Of American roetry VIII
he above tile by writer's uho are nat IN s Dsa
kok or whose best productions omitted We ale now er-
tvS In II, preservation shall be happy - receive
1s and from persons who take Al hes' o TIE
worG. ..-,-- 49,. ., ,L;..,;o,.
and a. stovre farLe Of spirit b. which We - Oe
throu shout viii remark that suong ne poes i
e,,d u hs volume whom intend q 30 as'4ce N
are Mr. Dsns bras.f and his partner MI Oreeey wen ~
Sy lame, Gordon Bennett Albert Pike ArEanss MTh se
n,n.v ro-.e sshinstuu Alice Cary Daniel Webstsr Jon
Quincy Adams John o. SAKE oi VERMONT s-a M S'H VI
South CaIurra 1, .,,-....S g -. 4, ~y.;a,
The M able demands upon time are aead % ers -
10 render personal interviews upon msiie PERTAINING 20 Inc
propo.t work entirely out Of the question
We presume that after carrying of the highest iau'
r,s in tie world of oetical literatur as he has done
in the Olympian contests Of the roae-Ar Bonner Is
said to drive the best horses in New-iort-he VII
next devote biutef to tie sphere Of electricity and
rival thero the reuown Of FraklD, Morse and Cyfd'
W. Fled THIS is great world, and the glory oi one
star ,Ice.s that Of all the Others.
New-York daily tribune., 1859-02-01
United States Supreme Court.
WAsHINGTON, Monday, Jan.

WASHINGTON, Monday, Jan. 81, 1917
No. 81 Frederick l.. Bereda Brother VS.. Benz
IT, Silsbes ct alIn to tie Crcnit Couft OF the
United States for the District Of Mary and Jutlce
Clifford delivered The opinion Of the Court affirming
tie judgment Of the lower Count with costs ard In
tetest. go
No. 3S. Lessee Of Wm. c. French aud Hife va. Wm.
H. Spencer ir et al.-Error 70 the Circuit Court OF
the Untei Sta'es for the District Of Indiaua Judge
Cairon delivered the opinion Of the Court, affirming
the jGGgu Ell with costs. .
No. &c. McKenlay, Garrioch x Co We. VIM. Nor
risb claimant Of ship PODs Aelu.-Appeal from tue
Circuit Court icr the District OF California. Judge
Wayne delivered the opinion of the Court, aiirnlng
the decree, with coste.
No. 269. II surarce Company Of the Valley OF Viz
ginia vs. Moses T.. Mordec si.-Error to tne CTcalt
Court fer the Western District Of Virginia. Clet'
Justice Tsney delivered the opinion o: the Court, dlf-
missing the cause fCr want of jurisdiction.
No. So Robert Campbell ct al. Vs. Clement Boy
reap Error to the Circuit Court Of the uulted SateS
for the Southern District of California Chef-J
Tapey delivered the opLion OF tee Court ailirmng the
gIue nj with costs.
No S. The White Water Valley Canal Company
vs Henry Vallette --Argumgnt continued for the de-
ferdsIt.
Ne. 80. The United States VS. Vincen'e z. Gomez
Appea from the District Coort Of the United Stste'
for Southern California. On motion OF the counsel fol
the appellee, the cause was do .keet, AID dismissed
with pUrts,
New-York daily tribune., 1859-02-01
THOMAS PANE.

The ole hundred and twenty second anniversary Of
TIE btrthday Of Thomas Palma was celebrated at she
Chinese Asemb Rooms last night by bsll aud sup
par. The atterdsuce vas not very large, but those
disciples of the SO styled, The author hero Of the
Revolution being val acquainted with each other,
enjoyed themselves .aSst amazingly. The olehrstion
was opened by bali pc, formal commencing abcut9
o'clock Dancing was kept up in spirited style until
ii O'Clock, when the party repaired to the supper
room. The edbies having been dispoeedoi, Me-. VIM.
L. R0sE called The company 60 order, sud Rad long
t of toasts, which were responded to by Mr.. Oliver
W. Hail. Mrs. l. nsstne j.. Roe, Gee, W. Vail Jos.
Barker, Lucas Thompson, G.. Clark, Albert
Fisher ard Others. Dsrcing resumed after sup
per- and cortrrei until lste hour OF the night. Tne
first three toasts were ~ follows:
The M,Bo,go, Thomas PJiae-rhe lorhero Sf the Bevo
luton pointed the Independence the h.
that relieved tie that tried sodss dpated
the fears IN. tid uoouli the hopes Of the sangune
for the ultimate tiumph of nst oscr might BY tho inde
p Of the United Stst tho model Republic cf tho
world with one black spot on It,
The R1a:s 81 Mar The for which Paine WAS ex
psa.sd from fngaud, inwouel In Frpce, aud persscuted
abused. ths hour be United States
America.
FdpeaeTbe husbandry of the mind. Plsrt the horns Of
supcrstton you Will saiher tho sHn and tisties OF
bsJry the seed oi nLstIsDc % aud VIII rrap
p.snti harvest )f The NUTS Of knowlsfgs 70 enrich not Only
the present but future senerstors
New-York daily tribune., 1859-02-01
From Hayti.

BOsTON, W0Huay, JTN II -.
The news boat Of Pslmer's News rooms boarded the
big Eclpe from Gopayes, at Tarpauin Cove, ttls
evepirg, and makes the following report concerning
The revolution in Iisytl: Gonaiyes, up TO tse lfh
inst, when The brig Eolus sailed, quiet. On the
,ih here VASE slight bombardmont Il the port of ST.
Marks BY brigg0f war belonging 10 the Emperor
Tlcse were but few ronnds discharged and the brig
not being enough to do execution the shot tlok
no eject. At the sare time there was slight skir
mish back of S. Marks in which some few lives were
ost ard few horses when both parties retired. The
business Of the port seems TO be st ; stand Gen.
Gefrard is posted within sixty yards of the Emperor
forces, their troops beipg divided by small mound.
The Inhabitants Of Gonsvcs al in arms, ready to
meet the result. The principal parts of the islsnd
have declared Hayti Republic, and the general
opinion is that things will soon be settled In Gen.
GefiTards favor.
New-York daily tribune., 1859-02-01
PROBABLE HOlf3JDEy

About Q o:oloek is.t night ere Parict Cagry.ss-
siding IN Stoae street, stabbed y TIE ss5omcn -
knife in the hsrds Of n msn named Joen Ryan sss
bscy wsu,c ed II appears thst in .ho early U' the
everirg CSTy IN company WITH iaaa nant f-ss-
die, entered apo;house 10 Chambers Sscsoi nesT Ces-
ter where they oouuenced wrsnsline over theire7Ps
in regard 10 ser,e tivisl ms'ter. 2ysn uesn1ms
came ip asd being frscd Of both past,es, attempted
to pscfy th'm. After while Ryan Induced Hsstle
TO leave, and the tive went to the Washington Hotel
rear the Battery, where they got sspper. Theace
hey walked up Broadway and separated at Chsmbcn
street.
Handle continued Up Broadway, ari Ryan returned
10 the Yer.f oue in Chambers stIe for toe purpose
of frdir- Curry. Ne found Rim ~heis le had ~ him.
bu. Tho purrort Of their conversation spon s.ing
seccrdtme old rotirausp;re. Both a,wever spt iato
sn alteration which resulted in Curry tackioy FyAa
in the bsr-room. Ryan brose away ron his hoe ana
rushed on, of og door into the streos He was tcov
ed thruygb another dJor 10y Garry I'D the parties met
in 'front.' oi Brrees Type Foundry, sLee Curry - "a
Al gtd kioksd tbo other in the sSSomen. sseslet
ens0a5 3ufug which Ryaa drew & shssth or dirk :
knife apd stabbed Curry twice in :5sabdon ~ nilcts
iug r5utds, Fl ON which 'he intfst;oes prorulod
Olcr Beatty, of the Sixth Pyesi2e', heard tho cry
OF maEder that wac raised end hsss. Lirg 10 the soo
arrested Ryan and conveyed aiG - the station house
SOgeeA; Brush searched the prisoner, and found in1
Oh az his pockets tie kufe vsth eA.ch hc had eoms
n ;;ed The deed. Ryan admitte stGbbiug Curry, aud
stated that tire knife was ora Shich he had put in
lis pocket for the purpose Of 5tabtirg frt Sader
sbo bsd eo1e him some injcIy. The Sergeant sent
OEoer Beatty TO the resJer .s Of Curry No. Ssts
ste.l and fouLd the injured man in the hands sf two
or three physicians. Ryan vas locked up tbs oels.