Meigs County telegraph. [volume] (Pomeroy [Ohio]) 1848-1859, 1859-09-06

ait 8i is.

EE There is not mite but what
thinks himself .'lhe whole cheese"
EBWanted to know-if the girl who
clung to hope hadn't slippery hold?
~An Irish paper announces that a
Mr.. Kennedy returned to town, fell down
and broke his neck, but happily received
no further serious damage.
EBThe rhymer who wrote the line,
"Dear to me is the surf-tossed beach"
probably had in bis mind recollection of
his bill at some sea side hotel.
Eg"How long did Adam remain in
Paradise before he sinned?" asked an ami
able spouse of her husband.
It'll he got wile!' was the calm re-
ply.
EEI shall never tyrannize over the
affections of my daughter said parent.
80 long as she marres the man Of my
choice, l don't care fig whom she may
love-"
~"Now, do take this medicine, guide
wife, and I'll be hanged if it doesn't cure
you" "Oh, then, IN take it by all
means, for it is sure to do good either one
way or the other!"
UNMrsrAKABLE.-"Sally, what time do
your folks dine?" asked dandy.
"Soon as you goes away-that's mis-
sus's ORDERS"
Dandy made tracks instanter.
~"John," said cockney to his son,
II see you'll never do for an attorney
you have no hen-ergy."
"Skuse me, father" said John, "what
/ want is some of your chicken -ary."
@A sneaking, dirty fellow being in
fear of bailitfs, wished to disguise himself
A wag gave him this advice-"Wash
yourself and hold up your head, and then
assure you nobody will suspect who you
are"
FAn eccentric printer says he has
"put his foot in it." That's fact-his
sweetheart sent him pair of high-heeled
clippers a few days ago. "All the better
it wasn't the mitten," says our devil, "for
then. perhaps. he would have put his head
in itH'
N-"Which, my dear lady, do you
think the merriest place in the world?"
"Why, that Immediately above the atmos-
phere which surrounds the earth, to be
sure" "Why sop "Because am told
that there all bodies lose their gravity"
~"Teddy," said gentleman TO bis
Irish footman, "m:nd you awake me at
4 O'Clock tomorrow morning, leave for
Birmingham at five, precisely"
"Yes, and sure l will; but if your honor
will phase call me at half.past three, l will
attend to it, sure"
gM Mrs. Partington is said to have
anxiously asked if uncle Tom is better
man than Enoch, of Biblical memory
She grounds her reasons for making this
inquiry upon the fact that she has heard
that Uncle Tom had been translated sew
eral times, while Enoch was translated but
once.
EE"Now, Charley" said youthful
swell, "you're just in time for breakfast,
have cup of coffee"
Baby Swell "a government Office en-
ployee, )-"Thanks, no; l assuah you, my
de-ah fellah, if was to take cup Of cof-
fee in the manning, aw, it would keep me
awake all day, aw"
EYA beggar importuned lady for
aims; she gave him shilling. "God
bless your ladyship" said he, "this will
prevent me from executing my resolution"
The lady, alarmed, and thinking he med
itatad suicide. asked what he meant
"Alas, madam'' said he, "but for this
shilling l should be obliged to 90 to
work"
CANDIDA fashionable visitor thus ad
dressed little girl
GLOW do you do, my little dear?'
Every well, thank you, sir" she re-
piled.
The visitor then added-"Now, my
dear, you must ask how do"
The child honestly replied IL don't
want to know!''
ScENE-A. FASHIONABLE PARLoR-( En-
ter the waiting maid with her mistress q
favorite poodle wringing wetD
Lady-"How is this, Bridget? How
came Fido to get SO very wet?"
Bird get--"Faix, mem, an I don't
know; but little Tommy had the tiny baste
tied to the end Of pole, and was washing
the winders wild i'm, sure"
SHR "FLU THE rRAck!''--A Mississippi
County Clerk, having issued marriage
license for young man. shortly after re-
ceived the following note from him:
Steate Of Miss July 1859.
Mr. Moody plesslet this matter stand
over until further orders the girl has Flue
the track By her own Request and Re-
lease my name off Of this Bond il you PIES
~A Virginia negro boy, who professed
to be dreadfully alarmedst the cholera, took
ha uando f,, av,,;I ,ni 80. IL