The Council Bluffs nonpareil. [volume] (Council Bluffs [Iowa]) 1857-1867, 1859-02-26
From the Detroit Journal, October, 1881.
LIFE OF NEWSPAPER.
BY ITSELF.

Ny life is shortly told. My first impression
was the sensation of tremendous squeeze
which instantly awoke me into life and
thought. now sped out to the light, and
glow OF intelligence pervaded me. My
ideas were at FIRST new, multifarious and
confused. Nations, politics, courts, wars,
speeches, fghtings, feats, merchandise,
marriages, deaths, ditties, &C., &C., made
up my thoughts which were various and
mixed, and lay in a silent state of wonder
and amazement. | soon found was but
one of large family, that was ushered
into the world at the same time, from the
same prolific mother. Our whole litter was
laid into pile-my situation being one of
the first born, was particularly oppressed,
damp and uncomfortable. l had a silent
intuitive longing wish to get into the world,
which was at length gratifed. Morning
and night came and was carefully folded,
and laid, Moses Ike, in basket by an
urchin who was called the carrier, and
borne into the street. The said carrier soon
found was an object Of interest and desire.
He was soon accosted by an elderly looking
man, with threadbarc rusty breeches -
"liave you sparc.paper, my boy 20 said
tightstrlng ''No sir,' was the short reply,
and he trudged on with US, muttering, not US
you know on, Old GRIPPE; you are the same
chap that promised me some coppers for a
paper the other morning and hain't paid me
yet; you are too stingy to take the paper,
but wont get another from me guess. My
brethren were now fast leaving me, being
deposited at their proper destinations; at
length my turn came, and was tucked into
the crevice of shop door.
The first sample of the kind was not at
all progressing. | had not been long in
my situation, when a reluctantly early ap-
prentice, swinging key on his hand, visit
fully eyed me; and casting look about
him fe!oniously seized and thrust me into
his pocket. My rightful owner by virtue Of
advance pay being in sight, hailed and ar
rested the pilferer, and with threats COM
PEELED him to -elinquish his prize. He
entered his shop, and soon found that
was the first object Of interest. Afterhas-
ti!y drying me by the fire, in which progress
narrowly escaped conuasration, he ran
over me and fixed his eyes upon sales at
auction, advertisements, &c. | was then
more particularly examined and dismissed
with condemnation. Nothing but foreign
news, congress and cabinet-love stories
and accidents by flood and field; newspa-
per should be devoted to prices current.
was then pettishly thrown upon the counter
but was soon in rcquis;tion. A bare headed
boy made his appearance, with ''pl lease to
lend Ma your paper Il few minutes just to
look at the ship news" The request was
reluctantly granted, with something about
the plague Of paper borrowing and deter
mlnatiOn to stop it. | was soon borne to q
neighb0ring house.
The good old woman whose husband was
Mt sea, eagerly sought the ship news, but
was disappointed in her search. slow neg
!lscnt and careless the printers are,' said
she, 'uot a word Of intelligence of the Wind
Bird, they print Of Holland and poetry and
fill their paper with advertisements, and
that is all they care about Miss now took
her turn. She sought the stories, the poe
try, and marriages, which in half an hour
put anything else in the papc-.' An elderly
lsdy now took me, who, adjusting her spec
tacles, surveyed me a little while, and de-
clared me terribly embarrassing paper;
hardly column Of deaths, and not more
than fifteen Or twenty murders and acct
donts.' In this way passed through all
the hands of the family, and after being well
soi'oI and somewhat torn, by the little ones,
was sent home. For three whole days |
mad no rest, but was continually borrowed
and abused. At the end of this period
was supplantei hy u new face, and was then
discarded and thrown aside like all servants,
when they nave become useless. | Was,
however, n-,2!n rcsuscitated, and employed
rs a wrapper 10 some merchandise, and sent