Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1859-08-27
NO. 2O3.
MISCELLANEOUS HEADING.
THE SIX PLEAS FOR A NEW DRESS

lHE SiA PLEAS FOh 'A~SE" bhhS''
Tittlewinks wants another dress, and her
lord protests. Now observe how she man
ages:-she approaches with
Plea No. |, namely, the Persuasive Plea
Oh. how hard he has to fight! She tells him
how she loves him-smooths his hair, calls
him king-asks if he has the heart to deny
her. II he says he has, she proceeds to
Plea No. ,. or the Destitute Plea.-She in
forms him of the fact that she has nothing 10
wear and saws a man is brute who wGuld
not give his wife something 10 wear. That
she isnot tit to be seen. That people will
cry shame on him. In vain he says that
beauty unadorned is adorned the most"
She asks il he can be 50 mean rs TO refuse
her. lfhe says yes she proceeds to
Plea No. ), the Pouting Plea.-This con
ssts more of gesture than speech. She sits
at the ia BILE with her little nose turned up, and
her little eyes turned down. She eats little,
Till he goes to business. sighs often, and
walks about the house like bad tempered
ghost. She speaks only to say ''she knew Is
would be- so, and lit served her just right
Should he dare to say lit did" she proceeds
to
Plea No. t. or The Property Pea.-She
politely asks for the little money she had
when she was married. Certainly she can
do what she wishes with her own. All her
worldly goods consisted Of q few worsted and
knitting pins; but these kHitting-pins she
always pokes in his eyes unless she conquers
him before she gets to plea No. 4. Should
this fail, she proceeds to
Plea No. ) OF The Comparative Plea
All her departed lovers are made toPass be.
fore the unhappy man, and he is compared
with them one by one. If she had married
MIR. Snooks--i. e. the coachman-she would
have had livery. If she had married MIR.
Swizzle, she would have lived in style on
Broad street. If she had married-in fact,
anybody but her husband-she would have
been treated like Il human beng. lie, per
haps, becomes d little angry. and suggests II
she had married Adam she would have dress
ed like Eve! But as she had married him,
she must wear what he can give her. This
rouses her temper, and she comes immediate
" to. Plea No. 6. or The Plea Conclusive
Which consists of Il threat to 60 to her mother,
and many upbraidings that ne brought her
away from the joys Of her own home to abuse
and make her miserable.
Now. no man was ever able to stand all
these pleas. He generally falls at No. !, and
ONLY in extreme cases reached No. ..
Ess" To CoNst MPrivHs.--The advertiser hay
| ing been restored To health in few weeks, by II
very simple remedy, after having suffered several
| wears with IA severe Lumy affection, and that drean
! disease, ConsumptiOn,-is anxious to make known
| 10 his fellow sufferers the means of cure To all
who desire it he will send copy of the prescrip-
ton used free Of charg') with directions TOR pre-
| barring and using the same, which they Will hhd "a
sure Cure for Co"-"mpto", asthma, bronchitis, &C..
The only object of the advertiser in sending the
prescription is to benefit the afflicted, and he hopes
every sufferer will try his remedy, as it will cost
| them nothing, and may prove blessing. Parties
wishing the prescription will please address.
REV. EDWARD A. WILSON,
iy 26-wSw Williamsburg, Long Island
Ef.- JOHN A. FIELD begs leave TO remind
hi. friends, that he is candidate for the office OF
| Sheriff or Alexandria City and County, at the
next election and respectfully solcits their votes
| He refers to his past conduct as guarantee i'r
ia. future. aug lS-eote
nG- A Expecting ut the proper time
10 announce myself as - candidate for the Sheriff
atty Of Alexandria County. have to request thnt
ny triends will not commit themselves TO othefs'
aug l6-eotf VIM. A. HART.
n.ts- To Nh, Voters ot the City and Co""ty y
Ai,gandria:--I offer myself a. candidate for tho
Office of Sheriff. ut the next election, and nosI res
pectfully solicit your votes
| !. III, Ia