The Council Bluffs nonpareil. [volume] (Council Bluffs [Iowa]) 1857-1867, 1859-05-14

4 renowned clergyman lately preached
rather It long sermon from the text, Chou
art weighed in the balance and found want
ing After the congregation had listened
about an hour, some began to get weary and
went out others soon followed, greatly to
the annoyance of the Minister. Another
person started, whereupon the parson stop
prI in his sermon and said 'That is right
gentlemen, as fast as you are weighed pass
uutr lie continued his sermon at length
after that. but no one disturbed him by
leaving.
TT The following not very bad thing VIC
find in the brooklyn Star:
1t is Il cvetitablo fact that there is not q
printer in the County Penitentlary, and only
one belonged to the Legislature which ad'
burned last night.
door (adorc).' She cuts his acquaintance
Immediately, (Which, We surmise, consider
ably unhingcd him.
n3'A friend who recently returned from
Washington, in reply to a question as tc
where he had been, replied, q have been af
Ter an office and got the refusal of it,
--~
CT 4 man up in Dubuque, 80 years old
who boasts that he never took a newspaper
says that Santa Anna, if he persists in h!s
struggle with Russia, will be sure to lose al
;ir territory of BosphCrus and be excluded
from the navigation of the Amazon sea.
-- .
rE~ A good story is told of a noted Wal
Street broker who was the first, after tn
iAbi, f., orl lr,St l',r,r,ny n foil Thl
story runs:
On the lay of August, he failed Blu
not the first time by several. LIE ordere,
which would pay fifty cents on the dollar
Tho clerk being somewhat startled, said:
'Why. W.T., you can't do that
"WeM.' SAID he, that's what l always hav
failed ut. aud if my assets are not sufficient
III pay cut Of my W pocket
rJ- Mr.. PuIlup coming home late 'prett
futl.' finds the walking slippery, and ex
claim ''I-vcr-vcry singular: wheneve
water freezes it aIlus fr-freezes with tn
slippery side up; singular.'
EY~A philosopher being asked what wa
the first thing necessary to win the love of
woman, answered, an opportunity.
r TFA love sick swain, DESTROYS to indi
cate the extent and character of his love 70
the empress Of bis heart, passionatcly ex
claimed
..Ah! Miss Brown, my affection for yo'
j. ~ strong as-aS-aS-ahem as tina
butter they gave Us for dinner"
The vounc lady was satisfied, as she wa
boarding NJ the same housc-the bargain
was Instantly struck, and the loving pal
started of in search of a Squire.
fgrTho shock Of an earthquake was fel
ut IGovington. kentucky. on the 4th inst
ue,ses we're shaken. and window pane
broken in various parts Of the city. Til
shock was accompanied with a NOISE sum-
lar to rolling thunder. 1t was not felt Il
Cincinnati.
r-Seotimcntal youth-'My dear girl
vii YOU share my lot for life:' Pract!ca
g:I-.How large is your lot sir"
~ .Whv.' said a lover to his mistress
ss~s van like that hinge 2 Cant eve,
guess Because YOU are something TO
rA Shopbeeper the other day, struch
un61 his door the following laconic adver'
ts..,,,,spt: "A hoy wanted' On going to
ais 4bon the nrrt rperuing, he beheld a smll-
ing little urehin in 8 basket. with the io'-
Low i0- pishy 1nhe.-'Hsre he IS
e@Bsrin Tia With but little show, you
=. = inc~aasr i aEawaras. @-