Muscatine weekly journal. [volume] (Muscatine, Iowa) 185?-1890, 1859-04-01
WIT AND HUMOR.

s1 What commodity is always afforded
at cost? The law.
"Boy. where does this road go to % 81
don't think it goes anywhere. l always
sees um here every morning."
GUEss-How can five persons divide five
eggs, so that each man shall receive one, and
one remain in the dish9
Answer-One can take the dish with the
egg.
.W "That's fine strain, )" said one gentle
man to another, abiding to the tones of a
niger at the concert the other evening
Yes" said a countryman who sat near
"Dut if TIC strains much more he'll bust"
sI 81 do wish | could be cured of lying
in bed so late in the morning." said lazy
husband, louuging upon his pillow. "Well,
| will try the water. cure said his wife,
pouring bucket-tu full on him.
Humboldt says that he met, one day,
in his travels, with naked Indian, who had
painted his body so as to present a blue
jacket and trousers with black buttons.-
This is certainly new way of cheating the
tailors.
CyPA chap walking along the street see
ing a lawyers Office, walked in, and in
CURED: "What do you keep to sell Pr
"Blockheads," replied the lawyer. pretty
only one Lett
"Who made you?" Inquired lady
teacher Of lubberly boy, who had lately
joined her class.
don't know said he.
"Don't know! You ought to be ashamed
of yourself; boy fourteen years Old
There is little Dick Fulton; he is only three,
and he can tell, [ dare say. Come here,
Dick; who made yous'
:'Dod," lisped the infant prodigy.
II knew he would remember"
"Well, he orter," said the stupid boy, "it
amt but a little while ago since he was
made"
SCIENTIFIC DlsoUss1oN-A most animated
dispute occurred on Or IS Street, a few days
ago, between Cato Brown and Jim Totten,
to factory hands, employed in one of the
tobacco fact cries, well known for their ex-
tensive information on all scientific subjects.
The question under discussion was the
shape of the EARTH Cato contended that it
was fiat, and stood on big rock, theory
w
lowing dialogue:
Jm-You argers dat de world is fiat and
stands on big rock-now l want you to
tole me what dat rock stand on 20
Cato--''Nigger,w why am surprised at your
ignorance! why it stands on anudder big
rock.''
Jim--(confdent that he had his opponent
cornered )--'But what does bofe of dem rocks
stand on!"
Cato-(after a moments hesitation)--
''Why dar is rocks all de way down"
Jim--(with pompous air -"My colored
friend, l'se sorry to see SIGH 'splays Oh re"
m:tigated o5scurty in a gemmen OBJ your
egsalted pertensions allow me who has ex-
perienced superior opportunities, to correct
de VERY deronneous repression you has,
and inform yeu dat dis earf is ronnd and
devolves on axles."
Cato~-I knows how depreciate de feelin'
dat prompts you to distend,to dis niger de
information dat you furnish on dis question
dat we are debatin', and wild all refer
ence to s'perior opportunities to which you
take occasion to prelude, l must disagree
wild de freory dat you advances. Kase if de
world was round and turned on axles, why,
wouldn't the axle-trees break down and spill
all de people in de street9 Answer me
dato
1t is unnecessary to add that Jim was
utterly confounded, by this overwhelming
argument and forced to 'sknock UNDER" to
the superior attainments of his opponent.
EXTENSIVE METAL WAREHoUsE.-While
in Chicago, recently, we were shown by Mr.. Thos.
S. Dickerson (whose advertisement will be found on
the fourth page through his extensive establish
ment He occupies five stories in Burch's man.
moth and elegant building, and has the largest
stock of goods in his line to be found in America
outside of New York. His present stock is valued
at S250O00 and the New York house with which
he is interested has million Of dollars invested in
their business. MIR. D. imports his metals directly