Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1859-02-03
Amusntg 8eabing,
AN AMATEUR PHRENoloG1sT.

AN AMATEUR PHRENoloGIsT.
Our neighbor, Col. s., tells a capital
story of certain wagin Erie, Penn, Jolly
publican, who contributes good deal to the
life of that pleasant but sometimes obstinate
borough. One morning a travelling prenolo-
eist arrived at his inn, and took lodgings
The next day in the village paper appeared
an advertisement stating that Professor B.
had arrived in Erie, and would, make ''ter q
consideration" examination Of the heads of
the citizens, and accompany the same with
accurate, reliable charts of character. For
three or,,four days the calls were sparse, but
on the fifth there was a rush Of FIVE or six to
the apartments of the Professor.
One morning a countryman entered the
inn where the phrenologist had his rooms,
and said to our aforesaid wag:
els this the place where the prenologlst
"holds out" that he can tell a mans karac'
ter by the bumps on his skull p
uYss," answered Boniface, with reserV-
ed and digni6ed manner
"Wal, / want my potato trap looked into
little while. Where is the man :"
81 am the man." said the landlord.
ooh! you be, eh? Wal, put in, feel o
my Jumps and gin US map. What's the
swindle?"
-uThere is no swindle, sir, phrenology is
science-a liberal science"
"Ah, yes, spect SO; but'what's the price
for feeling fellows headT
"One dollar, with chart"
oval, 60 it; how do I dc lie down or
sit up? Does it burt?'
"Not in the least, sir. Take your seat in
this chair"
There were four or five morning loungers
in the tavern who checked a laugh as the
countryman took his seat, having first, as
requested, removed his coat, vest and neck
cloth. The Bag of a landlord ran his hands
through the hair of the patient for moment
and then said to the bar tender
sMr. Flipkins, take sheet of paper and
draw four lines down its whole length, and
put down my figures under the head as tell
you."
"Have you got it ?"
"Yes, all right"
every WE'LL" and the landlord went on
with his exploration, which was Tougher per-
haps than there was any actual necessity for
"Put down neutrality-suspicious. six
ty." O
"Down, sir"
every we'll reverence two"
"Booked, sir"
"Combativeuess two hundred"
uWhat's that?" said the victim.
"No matter, sir; you'll see it on the
chart: Caution one; creduilty four hun
dred."
"What's that last lump?" asked the pa
tient.
"Never mind it now; you'll understand it
BY and by. And now Mr.. Flipkins, you've
put these in separate columns as usual?"
eyes, sir. .,
every we'll, add 'em up''
"Add 'em up!' exclaimed the phrenolo-
gical subject, "is that the way you do?"
uOf c.o.u.r-se! how else could we get
your balance of mind-of intellect"
"Wall, go ahead ~
CHOW does it Dabol, Mr.. Flipkids?"
"The three columns are equal ;,they foot
ed up precisely the same y
The landlord looked solcmply and sympa-
thizingly towards his subject.
cit is very strange" says he; but it is SO.
Phrenology never lies. You have no predoml,
nant character, sir, you have no intellectual
status, you don't know any thing, sir. Ex-
cuse me, sir, but must state truth, whether
YOU take the chart or not; but, sir, if there
is any truth in pbrenology, you're fool -
Under the circumstances, sir, can scarcely
expect you to keep the chart which you have
contracted for; this is a matter of little con-
sequence, as it will be a valuable illustra-
tion of an antique species, which can use
in nv lectures hereafter. l authenticate all
my lectures with real names and residence.
The charge of deception in science is one that
has never been brought against me, sir, nev-
err"
ooh never mind give US the map said
the subject; "here's the swindle, for it is a
swindle. I'd rather pay for it than have you
going round the country making fool Of
me everywhere else as you have here-you
blasted philanthroprogrogenitiye humbug p
With this explosion, the subject retired.-
KnickerJockcr.
KNOW THE RIGHT MAN.
In Southern city lived young aspiring
..onth hn the name of Kinsnn who possessed