The Council Bluffs nonpareil. [volume] (Council Bluffs [Iowa]) 1857-1867, 1859-06-04
A SLACK TWISTED GIRL.

l wish you could see our "Soph" for one
week-yOu would see first rate manager,
assure you. In tho first place she is always
late to breakfast; she never combs or ties up
her hair, but only gives it q smooth and u
tw!rl, sets her comb away and so much is
completed. Her dress generally has two or
three grease spots upon the front breadths,
her shoes are down at the heel, and she
scufs about rather than walks. She is too
lazy to open her windows to air her chamber;
too indolent to take her night dress out Of
her bed; too inefficient to throw back the bed
clothes. She yawns over her breakfast,
laughs with her brother about some young
gent" hopes "somebody Gao take hints, !"
looks over the morning paper and reads
marriages, the concert notices, the new
plays at the museum, and what is going on
at the Atheneum, and looks over the parlor
register with yellow covered book of the
last trash literature, till her mother says
''Sophia, dear, do you know how late it is !?
Do, child, make your toilet. Mr.. Woodfun
may call and what would he think 2" For
this pretty piece Of clay is engaged to Le
married to our Tom.
Well, she goes into her nicely arranged
bed-chamber which the maid has so care
fully put in order. Heavens how pretty it
looks in a few moments stockings thrown
helter skelter, pair Of boots both stringless
and threadbare; the morning dress left just
as she dropped out of it, and her two old
faded skirts all tattered about the bottom.
Her brush is full of hair, her comb looks
black as ink, her toilet cover is daubed with
macassar, bears oil, rosemary. But she is
now.dressed for the parlor, ready to receive
Mr.. Woodfuu. Her hair is combcd over
her ears as smoothly as if Il polished iron
had fattened every stray lock, her dress is
neatly hooked up, and what q trim little
form sho assumes. Her boots are hemmed
close, and she holds the identical piece Of
ruthpg 10 her hand to hem which she began
month ago. Her mother speaks of So
phia's sry-she is afra:d she will sew
her life out Of. her. She is thankful Mr.
Woodfun has called to invite her to the
evening concert. And previous to going
there another dressing takes place, and her
room again looks as if Beulam had broken
loose, which only makes three times day
that the chamber maid is called to put things
to rights,
The worst of all is, sour Soph'' is ex-
pectlng to marry Tom, whose father IS a
rich man, but has put his son to clerk ship,
Al the sum of five hundred per annum.-
Tom, do take another look before YOU leap
Just one more, my dear fellow. Take off
the finger rings, tke out the watch, and
look at the unmenfed hose, lift up the dress
and see the hole under the arm, take off
the ribbon around the neck and see how
greasy it is inside; and, as live, her hand
kerc,i O. is not hemmed. What wife YOU
are getting! Think Of her Management
how your shirts and dickics would be fold
ed, your stockings darned, your pants mend
ed, your rips sewed, and your pockets
heeced to pay for gewgaws and dressing
maids, cooks and chamber girls. With your
FIVE hundred salary all spent in your first
three months of house keeping, and with
your fingers in your mouth asking your
father to lend you thousand or so! And
then, to comfort you, the slack twisted girl
is your wife, and she is yours, entirely
yours. Now don't talk about hanging or
drowning, or being swallowed up: only let
your wife do her own work in her own way,
and my word for il, something akin to the
cholera will take you off, for maligna t
diseases find their smart marks W. ere dirt
and vegetable decomposition goes on unin-
tnrrnptp3ly