The Shasta courier., 1859-04-09
A Printers Christmas,

The editor of the Sandy Hill Herald says that
on Christmas Eve an expressman delivered to
him an exceedingly mysterious box. After pay
ing the charges-three bits-just the amount of
money he had in all the world-he proceeded
with nervous hands to examine the contents
Here's the way he describes what follows:
The cover is removed when our eyes were
gladdened with the sight of fine, fat turkey
The next thing brought to light was a bottle of
champagne, and the next, and last, huge dem
John, marked 0 Tar What in the world is
90 Tar?' 1t must mean Old Tar; bat what in
the world induced any one to send us either old
or nesc tar? We haven't got any wagon and
as for getting up bonfire for the benefit of the
Republicans, we are not in the humer. We
have it. We will sell it to the livery man.
Called on him and said he did not use tar but
grease, on his wagons. Brought it back to the
office, in not very good humor, but still wonder
ing why it was sent to US. Resolved finally to
draw the cork. Did so. 1t wasn't tar Tasted
of it and became fully satisfied that it wasn't
tar. Tasted again, and then drew up q resou-
ton declaring, in the most emphatic terms, that
it wasn't tar. Tasted again, and then entered
the resolution among the regular proceedings, to
make sure that it wasn't tar. Tasted apain.
and began to feel happy. Tasted again, and
felt very happy. Tasted again, and soon became
very rich, and resolved to give our cottage to a
poor widow and purchase the elegant mansion
over the way-to donate our Office to Jabe, and
buy out the New York Ledger Gave the devil
$50 gold piece for Christmas, and promised
him round hundred for New Years. Bought
a $4,000 pair of nags and a sleigh cushioned
with scarlet velvet and decorated with gold and
pearls. Ordered from the South darkey driver
ana postman, whose faces shone like glass bot
tie uhder direct sun ray Went over to the
Union and told Fred to send every poor family in
town barrel of Julian Mills flour, and nameless
otner articles to render them comfcrtabls.-
Bought all the wood In market, and ordered
1t to be sent Immediately to the aforesaid poor
families Gave each of the clergymen in town
thousand dollarsi adopted fourteen orphan
giris and fifteen orphan boys run round and
PAID ali debts, (what rrinter on earth ever done
'lit y Kissed (oeiore @e thought pretty girl
VINO cailed to wish US merry Christmas, (sone-
body looked unpleasant when this hannened y
settled the matter by ordering a thousand dollar
shawl, and a set of furs costing an equal amount:
put on our slippers, (magining that we heard
music J did hear music, for somebody came near
pelhg k1cked out of bed. Alasi We had ouly
been dreamingr'
PkRsoSALIrrEs.-The Sierra Citizen gives the
ioiloWlng among long string of buriesuue per
sonalites.. pe
President Buchanan wears white crayat. is
quite old, polite to the ladies and will not be
candidate for reelection.
PRESIDENT Lopez of Paraguay, says be shall
conquer the United States. He is very greasy
and tat, vulgar in the presence of women and
rides stolen horse.
Governor Weller has been married three times
and chews tobacco
senator Gwin is passionately fond of "sar-
dinesn
Broderick prefers souse.n
w. II. Seward has been a candidate for the
Presidency since 1899. He has been heard to
remark, loosely, that the race is not always to
the swift
Mrs. Gwin is frequently complimented at
Washington as being the queen of the Pacific"
She eats no gravy on her potato.