Staunton vindicator and general advertiser. (Staunton, Augusta County, Va.) 1858-1860, 1859-08-19

than most girls OF my age. l had vague
theories, indeed, gathered from poets and
novelists; and my feelings for Mr.. Lacy, a
man Of forty years Of age, who had nursed
me as an infant, and whom | regarded with
almost unlimited. reverence as one of the
best and wisest Of the race, did not seem to
correspond with item. I vas unworthy Of
the honor-incapable Of fulfilling the Office
of wife to such man. Wife it seemed
almost blasphenio,is to mention the word to
such a child as was. / shrank back from
him toward my father, my cheeks burning
and my eyes fulf'of tears.
s.You refuse me, Mildred said he. II
should be villain to take advantage Of my
position, and urge yot yct'iD ny heart
/ believe I could make you happy: what
would you have but youth that could not
give you? There are many chances against
your ever being offered again strong, hon
est, undivided heart like mine. No young
man could love as [ do. Mildred, what you
might be to me! .,:...
The strange tone passionate earnestness
made my heart beat thick. glanced at my
father; he was watching me with intense
anxiety: no need to question what his wish
es we're. AS for the meaning ofthis strange
scene, [ wanted no details; enough that
some monetary crisis had come that threat
ened disgrace and ruin. | could avert It !;
and how? By marrying one whose affec-
ton might have gratitied the most ambitions
heart zone of the noblest Of men-one l
loved, though perhaps not as he loved me.
In that hour Of excitement, and in my I'M
disciplined mind, little was prepared to
weigh remote possibilities and coDtingen-
cies; besides, / was ardent, excitable, abt
to mistake impulse for sentiment. emil
dred, what you might be to me Y wrought
upon my sensibility his expression Of sub
dued emotion still further moved me. 1t
never occurred to me to demand time for
explanation and reflection. / felt constrai-
ned to answer him then and there.
eff were less child" I said, hlushing
and trembling fI were more your e.
quail
It was enough: he drew near me, and
clasped me in his arms Child" he said
passionately; my loye-my wife!" Then
releasing me, and gazing at me seriously /:
You give yourself to me willingly, Mil
dred but will not bind you Six months
hence I will give you back your freedom, if
you are not happy and you will find it hard
to deceive love like mine"
My father rose end grasped lis hand in
silence. 'sGod bless you !" he said at len
ght; I would have borne much to secure
such protector for my child. Leave us,
NJ iJG ..rt] %1cA
not be delayed even till the morning" I
was eager to obey, and be alone to think
and left the room without backward
glance.
That half hour had revolutionized my
whole being. | was child no longer. ]
locked my bedroom door, to give way to all
the tumultuous emotions Of a woman. Sued
for as wifs-engaged I looked at my
self in the glass, and wondered that a man
like. Mr.. Lacy could love such young UNI
formed creature}as I appeared. There was
al incongruity in it that struck me pain
fully. Still. there was a distinction in his
regard that fattered MS; lad a very high
esteem for him was varding off a calam-
ity from my father i loved no one else
I no doubt ! should be very happy L sat
down on the edge Of the bed, and leaned
my head-little used to- ache with such
grave matters OF refection-upon. my hand.
Unaccustomed to dream, at that moment
an involuntary dream rose before my ina
gination. Instead Of this strange compact,
the :wooing offs Youthful lover; instead Of
mere consent on my part, the delicious
hopes, the, rich fruition Of a conscious, ac-
tive passion Might I not have been thus?
IF beauty won love, Twas fair erongh.; if
freshness and strength ofheart we're needed,
how mine throbbed under the ideal bliss
The sound of Mr. Lacy's voice recalled me
to sense Of my duty to him it was wrong
to dream of such g;rlisn possibilities now.
He was going away, and my father had
accompanied him to the head Of the stair
case. | suppose he had asked him if he
would not wish to bid me goodnight, for [
heard him answer: No; she would not
wish to be disturbed II fsar to weary her.
God forgive me if an acting selfish
Epart?' rose up resolutely; no more such
weakness as that of the last hour; he was
worthy of a woman's love and honor, and
would give it. The. next ito months passed
in state Of. tranquil happiness If manly
devotion, Il the most delicate and minute
attentions could win heart mine Woulc
have been won ; and thought it was, anC
proposed on tho idea.
Mr.. Lacy madesno attempt to prevent my
plunge into the gay world, postponed fol
a while by the late strange Incidents. Nov
and then he would 60 with me to ball Oh
opera, but it was in the character Of protec
tor or spectator, not as participant; and
felt his presence a restraint. | was by NJ
,neans a coouet1e, I ssrovesto bear, alway
ii mind that I was his aaianced wife bu
I was only eighteen, ardent in tempera
ment, with high animal spirits, very mucl
courted and admired, and did enter will
a keen zest into the pleasures Of life. ! Hi
grave smile, IN the height Of my enjoy
ment, used to fall like weight on m,
! heart. ~
1 He himself, holding an important an
influential position in the world, was full
Of earnest schemes Of practical benevolence
Of professional reform. He seemed to think
labor and write mainly with al eye to 9th
{ er mems interests, and those in their high
est and widest bearings He liked to tai
to me of these things, and excite my more
t enthusiasm and while listened, he cal
ried heart and conviction with him, and
t felt a call to such cooperation an honor, i
7 which sacrifice could have no part. The
his look Of intense affection and happiness