The independent press. (Abbeville C.H., S.C.) 1853-1860, 1859-09-16

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LODGING TO LET.-passing along ,h,
street, a few days ago, we observed in the
window Of n partially vacant house the fol-
lowing notice THE upper part Of this house
to lot, containing three rooms, cellar, ki,ch
Ell, and Backyard"
lHE MASK OF FAsHIoNs.-ScENE: 4
Ladys Bon"o;r.--.Julia. Why. dear, you
40 surprise me-whatevcr are you putting
that abominahle rouge on for? Lady B.
Well, Fanny, if you must know am 60
ing to confess, and the rouge is to hide my
bushes.
\ FUNNY ALrERATIoN.-Not long ago
over The door OF shop near Charing Cross,
! London, was inscribed. "A Bull and Co.
! I'm: orters.' 4 wag one night took paint
and brush, and made it read thus A Bull
and Cow Imported" People called next
day to look at tho imported cattle
When douglas Jerrold applied at the
Austrian Office i'll London for a passport to
travel on the Continent, he was told that
"Douglass Jer,oIsl could get no passport from
the Austrian Governm-nt."-H replied.
"fhat shows its weakness.-.not my strength"
Pa asked Master Charley. at breakfast,
"what is French for an egg?"-"An egg. my
boy, is en- oeuC' said tho young
rogue Immediately, ian egg is not enough
for me, for want twJw
"YoulI find that a ginuine article" said
publican to Il '..iv' customer, handing
him glass Of something like wine, Lur
WAS il,vored strongly Of GIN. "PcrIap<
SO, said the other, tasting it ;"bnt hang
me if can tell whether it is ain or. ,cinc" :"
a FAIR Wilkes desired that
his tomb should he inscribed. u w, a friend
T." liberty" ~ am glad" said Horne Tocs..
"that he Ia not ashamed 10 show Little
gratitude t" her in his old age for she has
been great friend to him.
CHANGE HERE FOR FRANcE.-A good
story is told in the Sport newspapers. A
detachment of the Ans'rians was sent from
PeFchi-ra hv the rail way to reinfore Gene
raj Urban. Tie engineer, tv accident or
design. brought the train on TO the quai,prs
of the French army. The sol,liers of the
latter opened the doors, CRYING ont. "Grn,Ie-
men. change carriages here for France, il
you please"
A farce was produced in Banis,rr's time
under the title Of Fire and Water" 81
predict its fate" said he.-.'Wllat Elte2"
whispered the anxious at his sidc.-"WLa,
fate?" said Banister "why, what can fire
fand water produce but a hiss 2"
= no LAWFUL IMPEDIMENr.
5.ssTa spighty Sue, dull Thomas said
switty girl necr will we'd"
ss canilUt be- quoth Sue. "because
on fear the old Mosaic laws:
I \ wit and you are not within
sPfohibited degrees OF kin"
A humorous divine, visiting gentleman
whose wife was none of the mos, aniabls
overheard his friends say, "lf It was not for
that stranger in the next room, would kick
yon out of DOORS" Upon which the minis
ter stepped in and said, Pray, sir, make no
stranger Of me-"
+ SAKE, tie humo'ist, recovering from sick.
'ness. i'll a rlyming epist!e to friend, said
The doctor (who comes to me yeti is welcom. to
some of my dust :"
Bnt Natures exorbi'ant debit mean to pay
that when must.
CAN GouT BE CuRED'-It is said tha.
the, ,severest gout has tsen cured by a per
ssgering use Of coffee. In the French col
onies, as well as in Turkey, where coffee
constitutes the principal beverage, the g,,nt
ia almost Unknown. We TO no, vnuci, for
tho infaibility OF this remedy, but it is n
barmles one, and worthy ofa trial.
LIGHTS AND LIvERs.-Lord Corkburn,
when at the bar, was pleading in steam
boat collision case. The case turned on the
fact Of one Of the vessels carrying no lights,
which was the cause of the accident Cock
burn insisting on this. wound up his argrl-
ment with this remark, In fact, gentlemen,
had there been more lights, there would
have been more liocrs.' .''E5;5js
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