Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1859-06-16

| Sooy "ho SAoeoAui, ioi pS1nS SAA'N NV"
with the straps and buckled up BY the csus-
penders, when he attempted to go.straight
forward, in lifting his feet the upper and low
er forces would tighten upon the trowsers-
the pressure would touch upon the knee,
which not having sufficient room, would
bend inward, the broad bottom Of his unman-
nerly foot would fly outward, presenting a tol-
cradle specimen of a windlass or crank, for
med of the pnsightly foot and bony shank; and
when the motive power was up and the ma
chine was propelled With rapidity, then there
commenced q succession Of gyrations carried
on by the shifting of the knees and the out
ward turning Of the soles Of the feet, which
might puzzle the observer at a distance to
find name for such locomotive.
This style of trousers, with the upper and
lower accompaniment, in connection with
the shortwaisted coats then in vogue, was
to Tom, the chief of denominations" for he
was not satisfied but what they had some
thing to doin cramping and putting out of
shape his corporality, and this thought, that
nature might be cramped by the despotism
of fashion, struck him with crushing force
discharge from the electric battery could
not have shocked him more; and the more
he pondered on the subject, with greater
power did the fact fash upon him, till at
length the conclusion had been reached that
the world was -duped and humbugged long.e-
nough, and he was enraptured at the idea
that be had got so far in advance of the age
and the world, as to make such a discovery,
and henceforth, be was to be-the champion
to commence crusade against such intole-
rant usurpations. His motto was, that "na-
ture was crushed and cramped, and should
be liberated" He would revive knight-er-
rantry thus he would win immortal honors,
by resisting to the hilt of the sword, the most
cruel tyrant that ever swayed sceptre. Hear
him as be thunders his anathemas and lets
loose his pent-up ire against the implacable
foe of humanity!
ooh! thou mereiless despot, what evil
hast thou perpetrated in this world of Eber-
ty? How much of human happiness hast
thou destroyed? What ruin and desolatiou
marks thy track What countless thousands
groan and weep under thy iron rule! Who
gave thee authority to enact laws so oppres-
sive and burdensome? Such an unwarrant-
able invasion of individual right should be
hurled back in proud defiance by every low
ser OF ifDerty. TO arms! to arms! ye sons
of freedom. Burst the CALLING chain ofsuch
despotism! Down with the pusilanimous
poltroon who said, 'better be out of the world
than out of fashion,"
While these burning thoughts were tear
ing his breast and almost overpowering his
'tsenses, he was charging around clump of
bushes, beating the Innocent air with hisshort
bony fist, gnashing his teeth, stamping his
enemy in the dust, and going through all
the gesticulations and excitements of des.
perate combat When the monster of his
wild. imaginings had been demolished, he
then retires few PAGES from the scene Of
the conflict and with "Jackdaw strut" !"
and an air of self-complacency peculiar to
himself, exults over the vanquished foe. A
short pause in his exultations and slight
glance at his shadow, revealed the appalling
truth that his victory was too late. Already
had his unfortunate carcass been cramped
and smothered by knotted suspenders, hide
bound trowsers and raw-hide straps. This
opened fresh vein of phrensy and enkin-
died his hottest wrath, and caused him to re-
peat his VOWS of eternal hatred, and deter
mine upon a war of determination upon
the enemy. He of all others had right to
speak-his visible self was living confrma-
tion of the truths he taught.
The key which opened to this wonderful
discovery was this: He by chance saw a
case constructed Of wood used by Chinese
for COMPRISING their, feet. He saw with
pain the great disparity in the stature of men,
and as he was personally interested, his spec
ulative mind was employed to find reason
orthis difference. Often had he resolved the
the question in his own mind, but could not
solve the mystery; but now it was clear as
noon, the inventions Of men had .tettered ma
ture-the works of man had hampered mans
natural growth. The Chinese, for fear of viola
ting the usage of centuries, fasten their feet in
stocks to keep them small. The civilized
world, with more inconsistency and less uni
formity than the heather, invent a thous-
and nameless, shapeless modes of dress and
call them all by the title of "fashion," and
then require uncomplaining submission and
implicit obedience to its ever changing de-
crees and what is worse, some of those
modes and styles, instead of aiming to raise
man erect and give him high and lofty
bearing, they tend to clamp, degrade, and
shorten the would-be expansive nature of
man. Then he looked at the knotted sus-
penders, the skin-chafng trowsers and raw
hide straps, and wondered no more why he
was not man. It is true, he thought his
head being the ruling power, might have
kept rising, though the lower part was bound.
Then he remembered that if the head had
continued to ascend, leaving the shoulders
stationary, that his neck would have been
about two feet long, making him ghost in
stead of dwarf, so he tried to content him
self with his lot, not knowing, however, that
"it is the mind that makes the man."
Our readers have, doubtless, concluded
before now, that our hero is an original
! oborooto- H;e imooa e,rewhat hiph1v