Polynesian. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu], Hawaii) 1844-1864, 1859-01-01
The Little Courtesies of Life.
A" A kindly word, a pleasant smile,
Are heller far fhan gold "


A friend, some time since, came to us and ex-
pressed great annoyance at what he regarded
act of marked discourtesy on the part of gifted
and accomplished gentleman, to whom he had rem
dered a valuable service He was quite excited
at the time, not that he cared SO much about the
circumstance, but because it was calculated to dim
the high picture which he had formed in his mind
of the nature Of the man. He had set him up
the model of the proof of a Christian gentleman,
the very embodiment of finished, polished, grace
ful and dignifed character. And yet, to his sur
prise, he found that he lacked courtesy or ordinary
pohteness. In other words, he refused or declined
to a note that had been sent to him, on his
own business and this refusal had been kept up
for days, until it became necessary to refresh his
memory, and offer one or two admonitory re-
marks.
But this is no extraordinary case. 1t is but one
of thousands. The little courtesies of daily life,
and kindly and graceful amenities which
admirably calculated to sWeeten the relations be-
tween man and man, and to lmpart genial spirit
to other social everyday intercourse, too fire.
quently neglected. We either forget, or we over
look them. We do not sufficiently appreciate
own self-respect, the feelings good wishes of
others. This is the more culpable, for courtesy
and kindness are at'the command of all classes
the poor well the rich, the humble as well as
the elevated.
There are some persons who never think it worth
while to reply to a note or an invitation, unless
some special business matter be involved. There
are others, again, who never omit such an act of
courtesy and duty. In the first case, misunder-
standings, irritatiOns, and unkndness will nevita
bly, occur and in the last, all these will be avoid
ed Some one has observed, truly and forcIbly,
that the little courtesieS of life should be regarded
among the minor virtues, and their practice
should be encouraged and cultivated from early
youth What, indeed, could be more delightful
than the interchange of ciyility, kindness and good
will, on all proper occasions, between friends and
neghbors What is so calculated to soften the
rugged path of existence, and give to the human
heart agreeable feelings.
Some years since gentleman and lady were be-
trothed, and the proposed union looked upon in
the most approving manner By the parents of both
parties. 1t so happened that the former had occa-
sion to visit Europe, and to remain abroad some
thing like six months. He wrote home eaborately
or few words by every packet; but during the
whole Of this period he received but three letters
in reply, and of a character brief as 10 show
that the far correspondent took very little interest
either in the subject or the object TO whom the
epstles were addressed. The fact was to annoy,
irritate, create coolness, and finally 10 break off
the match.
The truth is, no one likes TO be treated with in
difference or contempt A sense Of self-pride re-
volts against such conduct. The courtesy We ex-
tend to others we naturally and properly desire to
see extended to ourselves in return. Reciprocity
is the very soul of harmony, friendship and good
feeling A sensitive person may be aggrieved and
wounded Just as readily by indifference and neg
lect, as by open and studied insult. BY courtesy
we do not mean sfectation, hollow preience, shall
low hypocrisy and artificial manners. On the
contrary, these all miserable counterfeits. But
we refer to genial and kindly spirit, sense of
appreciation and recognition of equality, truth
fuI air, and frank and manly bearing
Not day goes by in which all these qualities
cannot be exhibited more or less, especially IN the
sphere and among the friends with whom we move
and mingle. There is, on the other hand, nothing
more unworthy, pitiable and mean, than DISPOSE
ton to tyrannIze over and insult, not directly, per-
haps, but indirectly, those who in some sense may
seem to be dependent upon US, oT whom, IN the
exercise of false pride, we may imagine we can
outrage with impumty.
The little courtes es of life never shine sweet
| ly or brightly as when manifested by the rlcb
towards the poor. or by the powerful towards the