The Kanzas news., 1859-04-02
Well ordered Family.

A writer IN Blackwood's Magazine thus
describes the intolerable oppression of living
in a. family, governed by jail-like rules
81 once spent week In one of these well
ordered families; it was great punishment
to me; I hope, also, In some degree, to my
entertainers. The iron rule of that house
was. ga place for everything, and everything
in its place. - The disgrace my somewhat
vaglant habits led me into there was dread
fill. The very first morning, / opened Pater-
familias's newspaper, which was always laid
in one particular spot upon the breakfas ia
bic, never 70 be violated by any hands but
his. There I stood, with my back to the
fire, coming the outspread sheet, and nod
ding cheerful good morning to my host,
when he entered. I had the hardihood even
to read to him tout of his own paper!) the
last Indian dispatch-yery politely, as l
thought-and to request his assistance to
decipher the possible place intended by a
dozen letters which the telegraph clerk ap-
peared TO have selected at random. To do
him Justice, he bore this inroad on his rights
with tolerable outward oomposure; but
was formally made aware, on the first op-
portunity, by Mrs. P, of The outrage had
committed, and made to feel as uncomforta-
bly, as deserved. Then left my hand
kerchief on the drawing room floor, one
glove on the library table, another in the
goyerness's parasol, (which, certainly was
not the place for it, and how it got there, I
have no conception, and was formally pre-
sented with each article separately, with an
account of its discovery, in the presence of
the whole family, assembled for dinner p
"One day, the whole Household was under
strict cross examination as to who had come
into the drawing with dirty shoes
I 4Tas the culprit, of course, but l was too
great coward to confess; besides, the lady
knew perfectly well who it was, but was po-
lite enough to entertain the fiction that such
conduct wss impossible IN any wellbred per-
son; it must have been the children or the
housemaids, of course; and the whole inves-
tigation was intended for my solemn warn
ing and improvement, Just as they used to
whip little boy vicariously to strike terror
into misbehaving little princes.
'.Then the terrible puRctuality which
made slaves of all of us, and keep me al
ways looking at my watch, and always afraid
of being late for something, as indeed was
once for dinner, in spite of all precautions
-four minutes and half exactly. Shall I
ever forget it? If they only had had the
charity to sit down quietly without me-if
they had put me off with no soup, cold fish,
and the last ragged cut of the mutton-if
they had sent me to bed without any dinner
at all, as once happened 10 me when was a
little boy, or inflicted upon me any other
reasonable and humane form of punishment;
but no there they were, all waiting for me
in the drawing-room all standing up. the
door set wide open and the head of the fam
lily opened fire upon me at once, before /
was well inside it, with, ''Now Mr.-,will
YOU take in Mrs. P. 90 Of course, ham
mered and stammered over an apology
"quite unintentional. and SO forth. 80!
of course, they knew it must be quite unin-
tentional--only''- in semi-whisper-Mr.
P. did not like waiting for his dinner!''
"There was an abominable child, TOO, In
that family, the very incarnation of prema-
ture method and order. All the other chill
dren had redeeming points Of carelessness
and destructiveness about them; and we soon
established sort of freemasonry among our
selves as fellow -culprits, trying to keep each
other out of scrapes as much as possible;
they conveying to me private warnings as
to how soon the prayeF-bell would ring in
the morning, and furnishing me with much
valuable secret intelligence as to the enemy s
weak points, and the Interpretation of the
laws of the Medes and Persians, to whom I
was in captivity; and I, finding substitutes
for impounded pencils, mending broken Gu
pid, who carried the wax matches in his
quiver, brushing the boys clothes after
BIRDS nesting, ''before mamma saw them, %
and actually cutting up the ribbon of my
glass into strings for one young la
dy who was generally in trouble on that
score But as to the imp speak of, he was
irreproachable. If left the door open, he
got up and shut it-not quietly. you under
stand, but oficiousIy and reproachfully.-
If I took down volume from its shelf. and
it left my hand for one moment, if he could
get at it, it was up in its place. again before
knew what had become of it. 1 took cour-
age one cold morning, there being no one
but he and in the room, to stir the fire,
and put the poker, when had done with it,
under the CRATE (which take to be the nat
ural place for poker, when up jumps this
well behaved little monster, and arranges it
by rule and measure where he has been told
it ought to be- I take credit to my self for
the very great forbearance-he and l being
alone-that I checked an inclination to
punch his head with it. Is it excusable In
any rational beings to put themselves under
| such lifelong penance as this, and to bring
up their children and to force the poor un
happy stranger whom they get within their
gates, to do fkewise?''
RICHARD RANnoLPH.-A cousin of John