Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1859-01-29
Editor Dreaming on Wedding Cake

Editor Dreaming on Wedd1ng CAKE.
A bachelor editor out West, whs had
received from the fair hand of a bride
a piece of elegant wedding cake to
dream on, thus gives the result of his
experience:
awe put it under the head cf our
pillow, shut our eyes sweetly as an in
fant blessed with an easy conscience.
and soon snored prodigiously. The
god Of dreams gently touched us, and
presently in fancy we were married.
Never was little editor so happy. 1t
was Ssmy love-" dearest" Sweetest -
singing in our ears every moment. Oh,
that the dream had broken off here -
But no some evil genus put it into the
head of our ducky to have pudding for
dinner just to please her lord.
In hungry dream we sat down to
dinner. Well, the pudding moment
arrived, and huge slice obscured from
sight the plate before us.
"My DEAR" said we fondly, "did you
make this?''
eyes, love; amt it nice?"
"Glorious-the best bread pudding
/ ever tasted in my life
Opium pudding, ducky," suggested
my wife.
ooh, no, dearest, bread pudding. ]
was always fond of 'em.''
"Call that bread pudding?" said my
wife, while her lips slightly curled with
contempt.
''Certainly, my dear-reckon I've
had enough at the Sherwood House to
know bread pudding, my love, by all
means"
"Husband this is really too bad
plum pudding is twice as hard to make
as bread pudding, and is more expen-
sive and great deal better. I say
this is plum pudding, sir - and my
pretty wife's brow flushed with excite
ment
My love, my sweet, my dear love-"
exclaimed we soothlngly, "do not get
angry, [ am sure it's very good, if it is
bread pudding"
"You mean, low wretch" iercely re-
piled my wife, in higher tone, "you
AiioS ~ . pltiiiI
"Then, ma'am, it is so meanly put to-
gether, and so badly burned, that the
devil himself wouldn't know it. I tell
you, MADAM, most distinctly and en-
phatically, and will not be contradict
ed, that it is bread pudding-and the
very meanest kind, at that
''It is plum pudding" shrieked my
wife, as she hurled a glass of claret in
my face, the glass itself tapping the
claret from my nose.
''Bread pudding" gasped we, pluck
to the last, and grasping roasted chick
en- by the left leg.
Opium pudding" rose above the din,
as had distinct perception of two
plates smashing across my head.
''Bread pudding," we groaned in
rage, as the chicken left our hand, and
flying with swift wings across the ta-
BILE, landing in madam's bosom.
opium pudding" resounded the war
cry from the enemy, as the gravy dish
took US where we had beer depositing
the first part of our dinner, and plate
Of beets landed on our white vest.
S'Bread pudding forever shouted
we In defiance, lodging the soup tureen
and falling beneath it's contents.
opium pudding!'' yelled the amiable
spouse as, noticing our misfortune, she
determined to keep us down by piling
on our head the dishes, with no gentle
hand. Then, in rapid succession, fol-
lowed the war-cries. 'sPlum pudding!'
she shrieked with every dish.
''Bread pudding" in smothered
tones, came up from the pile. Then it
was ''plum pudding," in rapid success
ion, the last cries growing teebler and
feebler-till, just as I can recollect, it
had grown to whisper. opium pud-
ding" resounded like thunder, followed
by a tremendous crash, as my wife
leaped upon the pile with her delicate
fest, and commenced jumping up and
down, when thank heaven, we woke
and thus saved our lives. We shall
never dream on wedding cake again.
Confound the bachelors!