The Van Buren press., 1859-08-24
The Way to the Next House.


Some years since. an acquaintance Of ours
.et out on horseback from the eastern part of
Massachusetts, for the Green Mountains in
Vermont. While travelling through the
town of New Salem, his road led into
piece of woods, some few miles in length,
and long before he got out of which. he be-
gan to entertain doubts whether he should
be blessed with the sight of human habi-
tatlon but, as all things must have an
end. SO at last the woods and the neat
brown house Of farmer greeted his vision.
Near the road was . tall. raw-boned, over
grown. lantern,jawed'boy, probably seven
teen years of age. digging potatoes. He
was q curious figure to behold. What was
lacking in the length of his tow breeches
was amply made up for behind his suspen-
grape vine. and sheep skin and as for his
hat, which was of dingy white felt-poor
thing. it had once evidently seen better days
but now, alas twas the shadow of its
glory. Whether the tempest of time had
beaten the top in, or the lads expanding
genius had burst it out, it was missing, and
through the aperture red hair in abundance
stood six ways for Sunday. In short, he
was one of the toughest specimens of domes-
tic manufacture that ever mortal beheld.-
Our travelling friend. feeling an itching to
scrape acquaintance with the critter, drew
up the reins of his horse and began:
Halo, my friend, can you inform me
how far it is to the next house 90
Jonathan started up-rested one foot of
the gambrel on his sinister leg-leased on
his hoe handle and replied
50 Halo, yourself how'd dew Well,
L jes can. Taint near SO far as it used to be
afore they cut the woods away-then it was
generally reckoned four miles, but now the
sun shrivels up the road and don't make
NOR n tew. The fust house you come tew
IS barn, and the next is hay-stack but
old Hoskin's house is on beyant. You'll
be sure to meet his gals long afore You get
there e-tarnal rompin' critters they plague
our folks morn little. His sheep get in
to our pasture every day. and his gals in
our orchard. Dad sets the dog arter the
sheep. and me arter the gals and the way
we make the wool and petticoats fly, is a
sin to snakes"
81 see you are inclined to be facetious.
young man, pray tell me how it happens
that one of your legs is shorter than the
other.
:. l never allows any body to meddle
with my grass tanglers, mister, but seein'
it's you. I'll tell ye. 1 was born SO by
tickler request, SO that when hold plow,
l can go with one foot in the furrer, and
tother on dry land. and not lop over be-
sides, it's very convenient when mows
round q side hill.''
90 Very good, indeed how do your po-
tatoes come on this year %
They don't come on at all digs EN-
out"
But they are small, / perceive
g Yes, know it-you see we planted
some whoppin blue noses over in that 'ere
patch there. and they flourished SO all fired
ly, that these 'ere stopped CROWN out of
spite, cause they knowed they couldn't be-
gin to keep up.'
SC You appear to be very smart. and 1
should think You could afford better hat
than the one you wear.''
1.-The looks amt nothin it is all in the
behavior. I've got q better hat than this
one at home, but don't dig taters in it no
how"
+" You have been in these parts some
time. should guess
Il guess so tew. was born and got
my brotin up in that ere house, but my ma
tive place is down in POdunk."
" Then you said it was about three and
q half miles to the next house 90
"Ies, sir. it was q spell ago and /
don't believe it's grown much shorter
since"
Much obliged. Good bye
"Good bye to ye-that's q darn slick
horse of your'n."