davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1859-02-26

HowT TELL \ LAwYER-A few davs since,
gentleman, being beyond the limits of his
neighborhood, inquired of a pert negro if the
road he was travelling led to a certain place.
Cufiee gave the required information, but seem
ed anxious to know who the stranger was as well
as his occupation. For the fun Of the thing, the
traveller concluded to humor ebony little, and
the following dialogue ensucd =
" My name is -, and us to the business |
follow. if You at all smart you can guess from
my appearance can't you see that l am a tim
ber-cutter?'
"No, boss, you not timber-cutter'
"An oversecr, them"
No, sir, you no look like one.'
" What say you to my being a doctor?"
,,"J)on't think hnSS de,. don't ride in s,,l
well, how do you think will do for preach
er ?"
II sorter specs you is dat, sir"
"Pshaw. Cufee you are a greater fool than
took you tor. Don't look more like lawyer
than anything else?'
NO, stree. Bob, you don't dat"
"Why, Cuffee 2"'
"Why, now you see, boss Use bin ridin wild
you for more'n a mile, and you haint c,lsSed
any, and lawyer ai,cays cusses."
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1859-02-26
SHANE RErIY.-A eorrespondent OF the \

SHARP REPLY.-A correspondent of the n.
York Tribune furnishes the following:
Mr.. Sames n. Buffum of Lynn, who is a self
taught man of much Intelligence, was a witness
in some case in which Otis p. Lord, ESQ.,, was
counsel ON the other side In the course of his
testimony he made use of the expression ''philo-
sophically speaking" Mr. Lord caught it up
and turned and twisted it as he best could. to
make the witness ridiculous. The matter in dis
pute had something to do with the strength of
hogsheads. "Supposing the air was exhausted
from hogshead," asked Mr. Lord, "what part
of it would give way frst?" "The head, of
course" replied the witness. "Ah, the head 7"
returned Mr.. Lord with glance at the jury to
prepare them for fun, "now Mr.. Witness, as you
are great philosopher, can you tell the jury the
reason why, philosophically speaking, the head
should give way frst?" Because" answered
the witness, "hogsheads are like some lawyers,
their heads are tile eeakest part IF fhemr'
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1859-02-26

FACTS FOR THE CuRIoUs.-Thomas Jefferson
and John Adams both died on the 4th of July,
1926. John Adams died in his 9lst year, and
was eight years older than Thomas Jefferson ;
Thomas Jefferson was eight years older than
James Madisonj James Madison was eight
years older than James Monroe; James Mon
roe was eight years older than John Quincy
Adams.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1859-02-26

A wager was laid on the Yankee peculiarity
of answering one question by asking another
To decide the bet, down easter was interrog-
ated
81 want you," said the better, "to give me
straightforward answer to plain question"
81 kin. .du it, mister said the Yankee
"Then, why is it New Englanders always an
swer question by asking one in returnP"
"Du Mey?' was Jonathan's reply.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1859-02-26

SACKS AND BAGs.--Mr. Lover tells a good an
ecdote of an Irishman giving the password at
the battle of Fontenoy, at the same time the
great SAKE was marshal. "The password is
SAKE now don't forget it Pat said the colonel
"Saxe faith and | won't. Wasn't me father
millerp" "Who goes there P" cries the sentinel,
after he had arrivd at the pass. Pat, looked as
confidentialy as possible, and whispered in sort
: Of howl, "Bags, yer honor"
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1859-02-26

Among the vows that man has to make in
Japan when he is married is one that he will
find plenty of rice and tea for his wife during
her life.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1859-02-26
TERMS FOR ADVERTISING.

f2h one square o ~ lines or less nonpare typ, uhe small
s sAv used three insertions II for each subsequent in
soTuun ~ cents The number insertions must be
on y" advertisements ortcy will be continued until ordered
OUT contracts VIII be made with advertisers By the col
advertising to be paid in advance
fu a frone advertisements excepting notices Of appca
t.s 70 s' real estate, and for Comm. notices
Sl.50 each for three Insertions "'''''
For notices Of Liberaons Estray the rornnon md ds
luton Of Copartncrships &C. slOO each for three inser
order. "P"'S "''
For business Cards in the first column from $500 to as 90
per year according to the space they occupy.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1859-02-26

One swallow does not make summer, but
pin maliciously inserted in a chair will make
one spring
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1859-02-26

It's great pleasure to be alone, especially
when you have your sweetheart with you.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1859-02-26
LIST OF AGEN r S

To whom payments for THE VERMONT PHGN1X, for
1859, may be made;
West Brattleboro, A. DUNKLEEj Brookline, c. STEB-
DINSj Dover, LYMAN BURR; West Dover, WM. H.JONES;
Dummcrston, II. A. KNlGllri West Dummrrson, s. W.
WILSON; Grafton, BENZ. ". DEAN Guiortk ELMER
MASON; Guillord Centre S. l.. SlBLEYi Green River,
JOHN b. WALKER; Jamaica, ORIN kNOWLrONi Hall
fax STEPHEN MILES, West Halifax, A. II. TUCKER;
South Londonderry, j. l., PIERCE Marlboro, W. W.
LYNDE; Fayetteville, j. DUNKLEE, JR.i williamsvie,
SAMUEL BROWNE Putney, WM llOUGliTONj Saxton's
River, C. W. FAIlBRoTllER Cambrdgcport, A. A. wy
KNOwLTON Townshcnd, o. BUTTERfIELD West
Townshend, T. D. sAwYERi Vernon, ADDISON WHIT
HE'D; Warlsboro HOLLAND PLIMITON; West Wards
boro, LIBERTY WILDER; South Wardshoro II. W KID
DER; westninstcr H. C. LANE; Westminster West b. W.
HAMBLIN whitingham, H. o. GILLErT Jacksonville,
H. p. HITCHCOCK; wilmington oRIGEN sMIrII Wind
ham, WM. HARRIS Jr.; South Win1ham EZRA PIERCE,
JR Chesterfield N. H., II. o. COOLIDGE; Iinsale, N.
IL, @. J. AMtDON Winchester, n H., 4. NJ. FORBES;
North Bcrnardston, Ms, N. p. CHAPLIN.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1859-02-26
BUSINESS CARDS.

GORGE HOWE, Attorney e. Counsellor
" at Law, and solicitor and Master in Chancery,
BRATTLEBORO, Vt.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1859-02-26

DILLIARD HALL. CUTTERS BLOCK
ID Opposite Revere House, BRATTLEBORO VT.
Wnants Celebrated Slate and Wood Bed TaOlcs with th'
New Style Cushion u Closed at 10 T. NJ.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1859-02-26

E J. CARPENTER, DEALER IN
~. Toys Fancy Goods, Books, Stationery Newspapers,
Magazines and Periodicals
Subscriptions received for the Principal Newspapers and
Magazines, and forwarded by Mail or otherwise.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1859-02-26

DUTLER & KNOWLTON, Attorneys and
I'D Counselors at Law Or Office two doors West Of the
Bank, JAMAICA, VI.
j. f. Butler. b. l.. Knowlton.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1859-02-26

~ w. HORTON, NJ. D., Physi-
~. clan and Surgeon, No. 3 Blakc's Buldng,
BRATTLEDORo, VT.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1859-02-26

nANIEL KELLOGG, ATTORNEY AND
~ Counsellor at Law; Remoyed from saxons River to
Brattleboro.l " Office over the Savings Bank.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1859-02-26

A LEXANDER II. PIKE, Manufacturer of
IA Phillips Patent Lever Farm and City Gate and Cloth
Boards and Boxes Packing,-and in Lumber Bills
of Timber, Capboards, Shingles &c, manufactured and
furnished to order 100000 feet OF CaPboards hand
Address West Wardsboro VT
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1859-02-26

ID EVERE HOUSE, BRATTIEBoRo, VT.
III By STEVENS 4 son,
Late proprietors Of the Eagle Hotel, Woodstock
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1859-02-26

VANIES w. CARPENTER, Attorney and
~ Counsellor at Law and Solicitor in Chancery, Saxtons
River Village, Rockingham, Vt.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1859-02-26

CHAS. n. DAVENPORT, Attorney and
~ Counsellor at Law and Solicitor in Chancery,
WILMINGTON, VT.
Weekly Council Bluffs bugle. (Council Bluffs, Iowa) 1857-1860, 1859-10-12

T. E Aa5A&
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readers Y laaRertaas sna svs. .sesssss
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viii u NADIA amtA - Man nx EaNFess Y
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the EAaEsrn &sakaa. N waai a. nj lie Manss
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/ rAsA NMsse III haanw ~ MTss msEHs paper -.
sahl isAs@d ID will BE read bY MI 80 3AAsFs,
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Weekly Council Bluffs bugle. (Council Bluffs, Iowa) 1857-1860, 1859-10-12
Ma AasT. 90 o DllA pAG1EI
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Ngrs asssmmf B&s 49, g e $3.50

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Weekly Council Bluffs bugle. (Council Bluffs, Iowa) 1857-1860, 1859-10-12
md CHEAP GOOIe
MU< xIss Il co

49, M GnkAR HNlE
ss&s ~sa~4s~x IS
III IL CO
zza@m " @aAs nawm.
l $500 @maa eaaA shs akaamsioass
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Weekly Council Bluffs bugle. (Council Bluffs, Iowa) 1857-1860, 1859-10-12
$3.50 d MMWMM Il CO.
REAI. Estate BROKERS',
AMN

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Weekly Council Bluffs bugle. (Council Bluffs, Iowa) 1857-1860, 1859-10-12
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Weekly Council Bluffs bugle. (Council Bluffs, Iowa) 1857-1860, 1859-10-12

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Weekly Council Bluffs bugle. (Council Bluffs, Iowa) 1857-1860, 1859-10-12

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Weekly Council Bluffs bugle. (Council Bluffs, Iowa) 1857-1860, 1859-10-12

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Weekly Council Bluffs bugle. (Council Bluffs, Iowa) 1857-1860, 1859-10-12
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Weekly Council Bluffs bugle. (Council Bluffs, Iowa) 1857-1860, 1859-10-12

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Weekly Council Bluffs bugle. (Council Bluffs, Iowa) 1857-1860, 1859-10-12
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Weekly Council Bluffs bugle. (Council Bluffs, Iowa) 1857-1860, 1859-10-12

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Weekly Council Bluffs bugle. (Council Bluffs, Iowa) 1857-1860, 1859-10-12

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Muscatine weekly journal. [volume] (Muscatine, Iowa) 185?-1890, 1859-10-14
Douglas about ssPlayed Out.'

Douglas weakness in California has now
been demonstrated. Broderick and others
who fought the Administration party under
the flag of s'popular sovereignty" and
Douglas, boasted of their power to carry the
State, and succeeded in "roping in' many
Republicans to vote for them, under the i'm
press On that the Anti Lecor ptonites had q
chance of success, while the Republican
party had none. The result is that the LIE
compton Democracy have some 10000 plu-
rality over the Douglastes.
This proof of the imbecilty of the Doug
las party in California, WILL it is believed
have the effect to consolidate all the oppo-
nents of the Slavery Democracy in that
State into the great Republican party, pre-
paratory to a strong and probably successful
fight for the Republican candidate for Presi-
dent.
Muscatine weekly journal. [volume] (Muscatine, Iowa) 185?-1890, 1859-10-14
IOWA NEWS.

- The Madisonian states that almost
every farmer in Madison county has raised
enough sugar cane to supply him with bis
years molasses.
Information is wanted Of Martin Fate,
middle aged man, partially insane, some
five feet high and weighing about l7O
pounds. Address Mary Fate at Drakesville,
Davis county.
We learn from the Story County Adco-
cate that Miss E. A. White, formerly OF
Marietta, Ohio, had her right hand shock
ngly crushed between the rollers of sugar
mill at Indian Greek, on the 2lst ult.
E NJ. Crew who resides near, Matson's s
Mill, Jones county, offers $50 for his mare
and The thiet who stole her on the oath ult.
She is bright bay, about IA hands high,
with few white hairs in her forehead.
GOLD DUsr FROM Pixies PEAK. --On the
9th ult., Messrs. King Of Davenport, MINI
ops of Chicago, Damon Of Wisconsin, and
J. G. Key OF Lexington, KY, arrived al
Omaha, N T., bringing with them $4,000
in Pixies Peak gold dust. They made thu
trip from Denver to Omaha in thirteen days
DEsMo1NEs COUNTY FAIR. = This Fai
takes place at Burlington next week, (l3tl
and 14ll, inst.) A stand of colors wortl
one hundred dollars will be aw arded to tn
best drilled military company in attendance
Tie Muscatine Light Guards bave been in
vited and will probably attend.
POPULATION OF IowA.--We learn from
the Desmoines Citizen that the total pop
ulation Of the State OF Iowa, as shown b!
The census of this year, is six hundred ant
thrty-three thousand, five hundred ant
forty nine, (GSa, ,549.) A few small coun
ties not in will swell the aggregate to $50,