, 1859-03-25
Uncle Ren,s Ho. 90 Trade.

Ny uncle Ben was q wag-aye, most invet.
crate wag-a practical joker, who never lost an
opportunity to exercise his pungent predictions
and wnggish propensities. He could enjoy a
joke, and laugh most heartily, even if it was
practised at his own expense provided,
however, that It cost him nothing. Indeed, 50
strongly had this propensity taken hold Of my
worthy uncle that he would lay awake nights to
give tangibility and shape to the wicked schemes
which were ever teeming in his prolific brain,
and then gave some rogucish boy bran new
copper to practice them upon some innocent and
unsuspecting strangers. But Uncle Ben was not
the only wag In the neighborhood, and numer-
Gus were the occasions when his risbilities :"
were called into active service to laugh at some
joke played upon himself
Uncle Ben kept hotel in the quiet little VII
lagc Of A, up the Hudson, and, like most
other country innkeepers, was " some" " on 4
horse trade 1t was the summit Of his ambition
to get hold Of some verdant individual from the
ulation He always kept several rare specimens
Of horscHcsh on hand for this purpose; and rare
specimens they were eindeed-foundercd, spav-
ined, ringbOned, blind, and baulky, and often
with such deficiency Of the "raw material
that their bones would project in all directions,
while the only wonder was that, in snch con-
dition, they should have sufficient strength and
vitality to Keep their equilibrium, even while in
the stalls. The crows always frequented the
neighborhood Of Uncle Ben's barnyard, ready,
at any moment, to fOreclOse the mortgages they
held upon his horses. ..
Now, among the various hangers-on around
Uncle Bens bar-room was one Theodore S.
"Teat" was the familiar cognomen by which he
was Known quiet fellow in his way, but never
theless one who was cup to snuff" This fellow
was the particular target for Uncle Bcn's jokes,
and took them all in perfect good humor, though
he had been heard to vow, outside the bar-rOom,
that he would one day get square, BY grand
coup de main.
One day Teat came to Uncle Ben, and request
cd him to loan him one Of his horses, as he
wished to take trip back into the country for a
few days, to which Uncle Ben very generously
replied that he was perfectly welcome, and could
have one the very next day il he wished it
Now, it 50 chanced that he had at that time in
his stable an old "rackerbones" which he had
several times turned out on the village common
to die, but which the authorities had compelled
him to take back to his iatherly care and pro-
lection, and he at once determined to make this
creature the instrument Of one Of his practical
Jokes upon poor Teat Accordingly, when Teat
came for his horse noxt day, Uncle Ben met him
with very grave face, but with wicked twin
kle in his eye.
VI swow, Teat said nc, Wnen promised
you horse yesterday, l thought should be able
to let you have a good one but the fact is,
they're all in use except the old grey, though you
can have him Il you wish"
"Oh, he'll do" was the quiet response Of Teat
who at once perceived the drift Of Uncle Ben's
game; "he'n do first rate. l like something
slow and steady, you know"
The old grey was accordingly brought out and
saddled, and Teat was mounted, ready for q start:
"By the way, Teat," said Uncle Ben, as he
was driving of, II you get a chance to sell that
horse, let him slide"
allow much shall | take for him ?" asked Teat.
"Well, Il you can get Gay dOllirs, you need
not bring him back, y was the response.
But suppose can't get thatf"
"why, if you can't get that, take forty and