The independent press. (Abbeville C.H., S.C.) 1853-1860, 1859-07-08
ExCERPTS Z q

A bachelor. after discovering his clothes
tull OF holes, exclaimed, Mend can't
If Indy vawns half dozen times in sue
cess'on, young man, you may get Your hat.
Why is tralcsman who keeps enar9.
ing his stock, like reptile? Because l,c is
III alder.
good action is never thrown away.
That is the reason. no doubt, why we find
SO few Of them.
S'rutinize n lawyer closely when he al
vlSes you to avoid li,i igaliun, and doctor
when he drinks your health.
A celebrated naturalist SAYS that asses are
the most vilifird Of all nrilnals. We know
that foxes are the most run down.
The transit across the English Channel
is supi"'<c'i to he The SICK transit alluded
t" in the wcll.knpwn Latin qnulatiun.
Il d" not wish yonr assertions to pass for
truth, madam" ."-"Yuu can easily prcvcu,
ii, sir, toy repeating them yourself"
OrR CoKprLESr FRlExD.-Thrre's a man
AT Ca'EhcrwrlI So fat that they grease the
omnibus wheels with his shadow.
Isn't it singular that an illnaturrd shop
k"' per should ever ,.tfrr to sell his good
will, when all tho world knows he hasn't
any
I haven't another word to say, wiG.-I
never dispute with E"Is.'-'Nu. husband.
y"n arc very sure 10 agree with them
Position is something. hut not everything
HE eyes are in the rear Of the muse, but
can see much further than it can smell.
Marriage is the best state cora man in
general; AMI every man is "A worse man in
proportion as he is unfit for I'll. married
state.
R"rlefoucaul,l said that the reason why
l"srrs are $" fond of one annlI,.r's crnnauv
Is that they are always taking about them
selves
a gentleman asked lal.or>r if he would
not TAX" a pinch Of snnG-'N",' r. piled The
latter, respectfully, my nose is no, hungry
i never give aims I" strangers. SAID Hunk
I" poor lr'>hw"lnan.-'Su then, vn,,r
''"""r VIII "ever relieve All angel was her
quick reply.
a home without girl in it is only half
blessed; II is an orchard without blossoms
" bower without bird, mud bird wirbou,
IL song.
Miss Nancy says n man is good for uotl.
ing until he is married. and a.ror,linu tc
her experience. he is only worth as much
again When he is.
i suppose, john, that if were to iump
into the water here should find !, over
my head and ears. Over Your head, Frank:
perhaps no; over yonr ears
What irregular verb. if corrugated in the
first persons Of three tcn>es. will define the.
spectacle "f boys inluIeing in certain
game! See. saw. Seen! (Sce.saw scene y
DOMESTIC -MohprS-in-law.
like calls. show a great attachment to the
h"u.ses they inhahit. without caring much
'or the persons who inlabit Them.
WINE. WINE. MIcnry W1xE!-sThev
tell me wine gives strength! said Fox. one
day, 'a'"l ye, I. who have just drunk three
bottles, cannot keep myself on my l-g~r
A GREAT Observation-Disclosures saws that
it is just as sensible move to un,lertak. to
GET married without courtiny. AS TO arte,p:t
to surceed III business without a.lv.rtisiup
AN lNvALIDs JoKE-What's the diff
ference between the top of a mountain. and
a person afflicted with any disorder ?-Onr.s
n s"mnif Of II hill, and the others i'll of y
'>un,nur !
ia Mr. Smith in 2 asked m Iri>hman,E4e
No. WAS tn" reply; will YOU leave vnur
na'ne?-'Ocl, mui,l,er! Do YOU think
id the after going home without a name 2
nj"in"l Pat.
Looking up to the great clnck-tower at
Westminster. Jones said, tia, money is IN.
great lever in the affars Of ,nankind,. A
very great leaver. intlre,i,' replied Brown
4 never could keep mine.'
THE PrRcnAsE SysrEm.-Men only pur.
chase such things as they want; but wo
'"en frequently purchase things they do
no, want. and apparently for no other pnr.
pose than the mere pleasure Of purchasing.
Sidney Smith. passing through bv street
behind ST. Paul's. heard two women aims.
ing eaeh",her from opposite housrs. They
will never agree said The wit; they arpu.
fro'n different premises
A Dublin ear.driver l,a;Iad q passeno