New Orleans daily crescent. [volume] ([New Orleans, La.]) 1851-1866, 1859-06-25
oscrLLAroRY MANIPULATION.

ny peLso1s VI CdpdGhys WIN uoSo pthCtiscu
intelligenty for term Of years, while others, who
have had the experience Of life time are bunglers
at oscillatory manipulation to the very end. The
adept at the business-we may say, the artists
able to convey by the most exquisite meditation of
his grip and shake the most delicate phases of his
estimation Of him to the party with whom be may
be exchanging the token Of greeting; may express
cordially or GOODNESS in all their degrees Indifference
or interest; may insult without liability, or pledge
amity without guaranty Of its continuance beyond
convenience.
Hand.shaking is commendable and agreeable
custom, especially practsed between single parties
Of the opposite sex who are kindly disposed toward
each other. 1t is commendabe because it affords op.
portunity for earnest expression of good feeling,
which naturally prompts those entertaining it to
bring their bodies into contact and the hands being
the most eligible part are consequently joined. This
view of the philosophy Of handshaking brings us to
the consideration Of the abuse Of the CUSTOM of the
outrage which it is the method of perpetratng upon
dist nguished individuals toward whom the public
heart warns. If man is elected to high office, or is
distinguished in any particular, such distinction is
his sentence to a handshaking martyrdom all
classes, and particularly the impulsive "honest
masses, with their horny fists and iron muscles long
to grasp his hand and torture him with . sort Of
physical cordially which makes his nerves ache and
his bones crack beneath its pressure distinguished
foreign gentleman lately made the tour Of the United
States, visiting New Orleans among the other prnci.
pal Cities and after he had worried through the pill
grimage made farewell speech up North, previous to
taking ship, portion of which was devoted to the
American custom of hand-shaking. In expressing
their regard for the lion the hardy bone aud snew of
the country nearly shook him to death, coming very
near committing murder with the most kindly inten-
tons in the world Here is an extract from the por-
ton of the speech devoted to lugubrious descrp-
ton of the killing kindness with which the tourist
had been treated:
"Of one practice that is prevalent with you wish
to say word. 1t is that Of shaking hands. Since
my arrival in this country have been surrounded by
crowds Of wellwshers, whose greatest desire seemed
to be to have shake hands with me. am lover
Of labor, and the friend of laborers, and would as
readily shake hands with the poor man as with
the rich, but this shaking hands SO often I have
found to be beyond my physical ability. assure
you that on occasion, recently, found it so ex
tremely aborious, that after having thus recognized
very large crowd Of friends, was literally unable
to hold up my head. hope, therefore, that not one
Of you will be offended because of my shortcomings
in this respect on the present occasion but if there
is one who has taken offense this account, can
only hope that he will sometime be made Mayor or
State Representative, or some such dignitary, the
election to which office will involve the aborious
duty of shaking hands. He will then learn what an
extraordinary exerton s requisite to keep 1t up, and
be more lenent towards those who forego it from
sheer exhaustion Men in the habit of welding daily
a sedge hammer that weighs twenty-five or thirty
pounds come and shake hands, and assure you that
the squeeze is that of q vice. In this respect am
not soliciting your Orbearance much for myself as
for your public men,
If only starring lions might be killed off in this
way we would have nothing to say, but as the pen
atty of distinction is sufficient to cool off the honest
ambition for its requirement which might stimulate
men of strong mental, but weak physical constitu-
tons to turn into the channels which conduct to an
honorable publicity in the various walks of politics.
measures for should be taken and have
even gone SO far as to devise a method for accom-.
plishng the end.
The plan involves the creation of new office, and
hence it must prove popular, the lack OF suficency
of public berths being already severely felt by the
large class who are ready to be prevailed upon to &C
cept them. The new officer would be public Hand
shaker, and our plan contemplates Federal Hand
shaker to do the Presidents work in that line, and
in behalf Of the whole nation State Handshaker in
each commonwealth of the Republic, to shake hands
in behalf of the Governor the members of the Legis
AoSuiO, SeuclaHy1 duu Ill tue uhtue Vi Tue
State when any particularly big character, whose
greatness is worthy official recognition comes along
and City Handshakers to shake hands for and on &C.
count of the Mayor council and citizens generally
with any eminent party entitled to such honor-the
Handshaker to be the grand master of ceremonies,
and in cities to be elected by popular ballot States
by representative ballot, and he whose accredited
hand is to be the penpotentiay substitute for illus
trious fists of President, congressman and Cabinet
officers, to be appointed by the President as that Off
Ger of the republic is not yet endowed with near as
much patronage power as kings have. This plan of
Handshakers general would simplify the whole bust.
ness thousands of good hats from being knocked
into the cooked description of that article in enthusi
asc crowds of private handshakers, save millions of
damage to roadcloth and ameiorate the lotof nota
bilities who, in the official clasp and shaking of
the hand of their representative, would receive and
return in kind the congratulations of many thousands
of admiring citizens, whose many thousand individ
ual grips might have proved the mortal means of his
feeble body.
We now dismiss these suggestions to the consider.
alton of the people Of this community and of the
country at large we offer them gratis, demanding
no remuneration, and only asking that they be
weighed and discussed with the coolheaded sagacty
and honorable impartiality which are so eminently
the distinctive traits of this nation We have fin
ished.
Richness of the Mines in Western Kansas.