Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1859-06-02

lwish he'd come II seems 10 me
He's rather late tonight!
Hark! wasn't that our gate that clicked!
"Hurrah!" shouts little VIII,
And ere I've time to tell him hush,
Hs- bounded DER the sill.
And "papas come!" he shouts gain,
And cmbs up for = kiss;
And ''pspa's tum Oh. papas tum.'
Echoes his little sis.
Oh! happy group that live and love
Within that humble cot;
Many who dwell in places high
Might envy them their lot.
>>>~
Ma The boy who lost his balance on
the roof found it on the ground shortly af
terward.
p%" How We printers LrE," As our
devil said when he got up too late for
breakfast.
1Br The man who was always splitting
with laughter, has been recommended to
try an axe.
p@- "What's the use," said an idle fell
low, "of man s working himself to death
to get a living?"
~" Don't harrow up my feelings"
As the worm said when the plow was pass.
ing over him.
A- Among the advertisements in .
late Lo-don paper, We read that Two
sisters want washing"
@- What plan," said one actor to an
other, shall I adopt to gil the house at
my beneft?" "Invite your creditors .
was the reply.
nB "Stealing never made man rich" !"
The simple old Dutchman who got up that
proverb, knew little of the exploits Of Of
fce. holders.
DA- A man Of philosophical tempera-
m mt resembles cucumber-for although
he may be completely cut up, he still re
mains cool.
nA- A strange genius, in describing .
lake in Minnesota, says it 10 so deep that
by looking into it you can see them ma
king tea in China.
~ A paper out West has for its mot
to, Good will to Hll men who pay
promptly. Devoted to news, fun, and
making money"
~ What is the difference between a
fool and looking glass? Ans.-One
speaks without rejecting, and the other
reflects without speaking.
~"I haven't taken drop for year.
said an individual of questionable morals.
"Indeed! but which Of your features are
we to believe, your lips or your nose?'
9- A married lady being asked to
waltz, gave the following and appropriate
answer: "No, thank you sir-l have jus,
as much hugging at home as can attend
to-"
"a. A farmer complained to his hired
man OF having al offensive breath. "Thun
der said the man, do you expect me tc
breathe musk roses for only six dollars q
month p
49, Cicero rstorted upon degenerate
Patrician, who taunted him with lack o
ilustrious ancestors "It is true that
am the first Of my family, but you are the
last Of yours"
~. A dancing master was lately TAX en-
up in Natchez, for robbing new boarder
He said he commenced by cheating 4
printer, and after that everything rascally
came easy to him.
D@ A clergy man, in England, whs
found it impossible to provide for himsel
and family out of his very slender income
wrote to . friend, ~ must give cp my
living to save my life."
D6- An editor in neighboring city j,
charged with grossly misrepresenting th'
condition Of it, streets. One would thinl
that an editor hAd better do almost any.
thing else than lie about the streets.
~ An Irishman wss about TO marry
Southern girl for her property. "Wil
yOu S0AO thsO WOsoou W O0 yOuT Weuucl
wife ?" said the minister. Yis, your riv
crence, AID the nagers, too" said Pat.
@" Pompey," said . good -naturet
gentleman 10 bis colored man, II did no
know till to-day you had been whipped
last week." Didn't you, massay'' re-
piled Pompey, IL knowed i. all the time. :
"Will you give me that ring ?
said village dandy to lady, "for it re
sembles my love for you; it has no end.
." Excuse me, sir." was the reply, Il choose
to keep it, ~ being emblematical of min,
for you it has no beginning
/, - Doctor Bolus, who was very angr,
when any joke WAS passed upon his pro
fession, once said, II defy any persol
whom Fever offended TO accuse mo of ig
norsncs or neglect" "1'hat you may d,
safely, DOCTOR" ,epliel wag dead me,
tell no talOs.''