Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1859-10-06
abit nul a5nmur.

Some time ago, on the Sabbath day, wc
wended our way 10 one Of our churches and
instead of n sermon, heard an address upon
some missionary or other benevolent subject
After the address was concluded, two breth-
rem We're sent round with the basket for con-
tri1utious. Iarson r., who was one of
the basket bearers, taking the side upon which
we sat. Immediately in front, and upon the
n"St seat ncGligently reclined our friend Bill
IL, a gentleman OF infinite humor and
full Of Cry jokes. Parson l. extended
the basket and Bid slowly shook his head.
Come William, give us something" said
the parson.
Cant DO it, replied Bill
'Why not? Is not the cause good one?"
''Ycs, bu. I'm not able to give anything"
'Poh! poh! | ';now better, you must give
better reason than that"
"Well, owo 100 much moher-T must be
just before I'm generous, you know"
But, William, you owe God larger debt
than you owe any body else"
"1'hat's true, parson, bat then he amt push
ing me Ike he La,ance Of my cre,ijtors.'
The parsons face got into rather curious
condition and he passed on.
Reg"Its said that Tom Moore, one night
/ NlIll' Si'pIlHS NJ dl lHiI III was
continually troubled by the landlady with the
request that he should write her cpitaph.-
Accordingly at night he gave impromptu as
follows
Good Susan Blake. in royal state,
Arrived at last at Heavier s Gate
and stopped, promising 20 finish in the morn
ing The good lady was in transports at this
inscription, and treated Mr. Moore with eve
ry possible attention In the morning he
was about leaving, when the laniilady remind
ed him he had not finished the epitaph. "Thas
is 50, said he, and Immediately added:
"But Peter met her with a club,
And knocked her back to Bczebub."
1t is said that Mr. Moore's horses were nm
der motion Just as he had finished the last
line.
Deacon Socs had always been remarkable
for his mcckncss and uniform propricty of
conduct. On The occasion of a "inilitia mus
ter the "spirit' of the day produced such an
influence ON the worthy Deacon that it at
tracted the attention Of the pastor and some
of the brethren. The dominic expressed his
astonishmrnt, and asked the cause,
"Why, Dominic, replied the Deacon, you
see I've been instant in season and out Of
season. serving the lord for the last twenty
years, and | though: that, just for once, I'd
take a day 10 myself
4 couple Of Yankee girls put a bul-fros
into the hired mans bed to see if they couldn't
make him talk. Dave threw it out of the
window and never said u word. Soon after
he put half bushcl Of chesnut burs into the
girls bed About the fine he thought they
would make the least shadow, Dave went to
the door. and ratified the latch !uriolsy. Out
went the candle and in went the girls; Lut
they didn't stick, though the Lurs did. Call
ipg to them he begged them to be quiet, for
he only wanted 10 know if they'd had seen
anything Of that pesl;y bull-frog. He'd give
two dollars to iinI it.
SURPRISE PARTY.-The Hartford Press
that on Wednesday evening, as young clcr-
gyman was skating down the Connecticut, at
a great speed, he came 50 unexpectedly upon
a group Of young ladies' tina. he could
not turn to avoid them, and, therefore.
to prevent accident, caught one by the waist
and took her with him. AS soon as TIE as
.onished female could recover her speech, he
was sa!uted with. "Who's dat a irggn' me
so ?'' and, on looking upon his frail burdens
face, the young clergyman found that it was
as black as night. He did not carry her far,
and doscn't enjoy compliments for his polite
ness.
a boy got his grandfathcr's gun and load
ed it, but was afraid to fire he however, liked
the fun Of loading, and so pui in another
charge, but was still afraid to fire. lie kept
on charging. but without firing, until he got
six charges in the old piece. His grandmoth-
cr, learning his temortv, smartly lcproved
him, and grasping the old continental, dis
charged it. The result was tremendous,
throwing the Old lady On her back. She
promptly struggled to regain her feet but the
boy cried out-"Lay still. granny, there are
fire more charges to 20 of yeti'