The Kenosha telegraph and tribune. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1859-1860, 1859-10-06
B R IL " ITEE 8 .

| A STANDING JOKE-A cork leg.
Practice good manners at the table, if yow
don't anywhere else.
How may 8 man become four.handed By
doubling his tteO fists.
KANSAS, with her present boundaries, will
make State more than twice as large as Ohio.
IL OPIUM eating, the United States is now
said to beat China.
The U. S. Navy at present has SO vessels
| aud S,45O seamen.
To succeed yOu must keep moving to grow
rich you must keep saving.
EVERY man ought to aim at eminence, not
by pulling others down. but BY raising himself.
THE barber VIII dressed the head of barrel,
has been engaged to fix up the locks of a canal.
A KISS, says an ingenious author is like the
Creation, because it is made of nothing and 10
very good.
NOTHING is more ridiculous than to be serious
about triass, and to be tria;ng about serious
things
SOMEBODY defines character as the only per.
you.
If pair of glasses are spectAcles. is one Q
spectacle ! And if SO, is it not bad show for
sight
Upon the marriage of Miss Wheat, of Virgin
ia, all editor hoped that her path might be flow
cry, and that she might nevrr be thrGshed by her
husband.
AwELL-KNowN London printer, being called
on to reply to a toast, lsaid " Gentlemen, I
hank you most heartily. can't makea speech,
but can print one as long as you like.
A MORAL debating society tout West" 10
engaged in a discussion on the following ques-
tl"n: = Ii husband deserts his wife, which 10
he most abandoned. the man or woman"
A VERY good kind of y woman often spoils
herself in trying to become man. The best
woman in the world is female woman-all
"thers are as sounding brass.
The following is a toast given at late Pic.
mic in Illinois. Its author is bachelor:
The Ladies-Saints in their prayers-AnReIs
in their parlor--aud The Lord knOus .ohGs in
heir kitchen.
Oh, dear ; blubbered an urchin, who lad
been suffering under the application of birch,
. Oh, my they tell me that forty rods make a
furlong, bat can tell bigger story than that.
Let them get such a plaguey licking as I've
had and they fnd out that one rod makes an
acher -
ON SATURDAY. last the lightning struck a tree
n the yard Of SIR. Amos Sage, in Goshen, NY.
nd duin tn min in
SOW and nine pigs, took off The tails Of the whole
nlhe juvenile porkers " as clean as whistle"
II IL supposed that they were ranged in a row.
aklng supper at the time, and So much engaO-
d thai they did not observe The flash in time
dodge it.
THE FRESHMAN AND THE BuLI~-An Irish
man going along the road, when an angry
pull rushed down upon him, and with his ho,n,
.ossed him over the fence The Irishmap re-.
covering from his fall, upon looking Up saw the
ouli paving and tearing mp the ground IA. ia
ne custom OF the animal when irrita. ted vbsra-
opon Pat smiling at him, said, :. If il was ro.
Tor your bowling and scraping aud your humble
apologies, you brute, faith should think that
you h'u 'nfo"n me over this fence on purposen'
JEREMY TAYLOR says if you are for pleasure
aarry--lf you prize rosy health, maryland If
money be your object, marry Exchange.
A friend at our elbow says that the last NAM
ed object induced him to marry, but after mar
rage he found that he had been hoaxed. The
gai daddy was head over heels in debt, and all
hi' property was levied upon and sold, and now
our friend has to support q gal he don't love,
and her daddy TO boot Poor fellow Poor fell
low When we marry it will befor the fas Of
the Thing. --Ezeheags.