The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1859-07-05
NO. 663.
A Good Joke.

~
staying at the borough Of E., he over
heard the following, which ho thinks too
good to be lost -
A number Of politicians, all OF whom
were seeking Office under government, wcro
seated on n Tavern porch talking, when an
old topper, named John D. a person
who is very loquacious when corned, but
exactly the opposite wien sober; said that
if the company had io objection, he would
tell them story. They told him to sire
away" whereupon he spoke as follows:-
"a certain king-I don't :rccolect his
name-had philosopher upon whose
judgment he always depended. Now, it
so happened, that one day the king took
it into his head 10 go a hunting, and after
summoning his mobiles and making tie
necessary preparations, he summoned the
philosopher aud asked him if it would fain.
Tho hilosophcr told him it would not,
and he and his mobiles departed. While
journeying along they met countryman
on jackass. He advised them to return;
'fori' said he, 1T certainly will rain They
smiled contcmptuously upon him and pass;
cd on. Before they had gono many miles.
however, they had reason to regret not
having taken the ruslic's advice, as heavy
shower coming up, they were drenched to
the skin. When they had returned to tho
palace the king roprimandcd the philoso-
pher severely.
al met countryman,' said he, 'and
he knows great deal more than you, for
he told me it would rain, whereas you told
me it would not
The king then gave him his walking
pap rs aud sent for the countryman, who
soon made his appearance.
"'Tell me- said tho king, 'how you
knew it would rainv
~ didn't know, said tho rustic, my
jackass told me-
"And how, pray did he tell you
asked the king.
"'By pricking up his ears, your Majee,
ty,' returned the rustic.
The king sent the countrymsn away.
and procuring the jackass of him, he placed
him-the jackass-in the office the phi.
losopher hal filed. And here" observed
John, looking very wise, sis where tho
king made great mistake"
"How soi' inquired the auditors. eager
ly.
"Why ever .ince that timc," said john,
with grin on his phiz, "epery jackass
wants an office"
A correspondent oltho Nick Max; writes
as follows:
During the excitement in Congress oon-
cerning the 'Lecompton Bill was teach
ing country school in Richmond county
One morning as l sat in the school room
setting copies and waiting for scholars
roung man eighteen years Of age came in.
AID walking up to the desk, said in very
abrupt manner, 'Pve been thinking Of
coming to school. Wha, do you farn
Eerer
told him the principal studies pursued
and said l felt myself able TO teach a fow
higher branches.
Well said he, I'm gon' To trade in
the spring, and | guess if know rcdin.
and writin and cypherin' that can get
along
No doubt You couli get along while
YOU were learning your trade, if you could
read write and cipher well, but wouldn't
You like to learn geography'
faint no use TO know how
DO yCu ever read the papers,
Sometimes, when go to the store; but
we don. take none 10 home
Don't YOU often hear tho names of places
and countries, and feel rs if you would
Ike to know whore they are siiuatedP
Il don't know as | ever thought 50 much
about it,
Did vou ever read Of Kansas
What, bleeding Kansas do YOU mean;
Yes | heard tell Of him
We'll if YOU had studied geography YOU
might have known where Kansas was stu.
ted, and what kind Of Il country it was.'
What. YOU don't mean to say that Kan
sas is q country, do You? thought ho
was big fcler they had down to Wash.
ington, ha!f niger and haH ~hite man,
that the democrats and woody heads were
fighting about
CLOSED FOR REPAIRs-In Judge LIS
Office was always kept orpriya'e entertain.
mcnt and solacc, a demjohn Of good o.d
j maica." His Honor noticed that every
Monday morning it was Ii shter, more
distracted John" than he left it on Satur-
day night. Sam was also missing froni
his usual seat in the orthodox patcrnal
pew.
On Sunday afternoon Sam cane in a.
bout o'clock, and Gather heavily went
up stailS The Judge called after him:
"Sam, where have YOU been?"
ITO church, sir "
What church, Sam!"
-. he Second Methodist, sir"
"IIad good sermon, Saml"
"Very powerful, sir; it quite staggered
me, sir"
"Ah, see," said the Judge, "quito
powerful, eb, SAM"
The next Sunday tho son came homo
rather earlier than usual, and apparently
not so much "under the weather." Hi,
father hailed him with:
"Well, Sam, been to the Second Moth
odist' again to-day"
"Yes, sir"
"Good sermon, my boy"
Fact was. father, that l couldn't get
in; church shut up and ticket on tho