Western Reserve chronicle. [volume] (Warren, Ohio) 1855-1921, 1859-07-13
DOttrgg,
NOTHING 70 EAT "


Or, THE LADY's REVENGE.
A satirical creature has told the distress,
Of certain fair maid, in the matter of dress
How, although a new bonnet she'd daily be
speak,
And buy at the least four new dresses week,
Yet, wheneer she went out she was heard
declare,
That she really and truly had Nothing t
Wear" .
Now another sad story fsin would reveal,
OF the wants which rich people so titterl
feel;
Not the ladies alone, if of truth there's loeu
ton,
But the gentlemen too are in dire destitution {;
A riteous complaint in all quarters We meet,
That the lords of creation have g Nothing t
Eat.''
It's now scarce month since that sorrowfu
day,
When Sir Julian D.intye, of Asterisk street
Was heard by the wife Of his bosom to say,
That, altho he had dined, he'd had Moth
ing to Eatr :.
Nothing to Eat ? why, there stood just befor,
you,
1 OF mutton hauneh, in the rrimest of cut;
Had been hanging fortnight-it had, assur,
you,
And cook took such pains s'-but my mouth
here was shut.
Julian turned up his nose, as much as to say,
.'ToujOurs ,aSmton! One can't eat it every day
So ventured again: There was boiled fowl
by me-
Boiled fowl, UGH "a shudder affecting tC
see;)
:" Well at least the first course TO your notice
had claims,
That clear soup''-'' Was muddy and thick as
the Thames
g Noble Gods head and Shoulders -'.Lcol,ed
fshy and quecr ,
..And such smelts !':-"Out of season at this
time Of year
Well, the side-disles, then: the sweet breads -
-s.Wyren' t sweet"
':Oyster pate, home made'-"That I never can
eat.''
.'Stcwed igecn''- libel to cal! it stew
.'Calf's hcad''-"Looked and tasted extremely
like glue"
''On that jagged hare prince might have
dined, declare
:. But ones not chameleon; can't live upon
hare.'
Then the eutlets"-Too eold'-"And the
curry''-''Too hot"
"And the dainties Which followed, the soutile'
The what ?"
Call that mess a souile !':-sTcn, the sweets
were divine
Fit for gods''-.-But not mea; may suit nectar;
spoil wine;
And as fellows who're mortal can't live will
out grab,
And Ive had no dinner, I'll-sup at The club" +"
Away went my half-ssarying husband with
this,
tAnd without going through cen the form Of 4
kissD
Left alone; all my wifely attentions rejected;
On the wrongs of poor woman sadly reticcts J.
I had taken such pains TO have everything
nice,
Had orlered such dainties, regardless of price,
Yet our last guest has scarcely set his foot in
the street,
When my Julian bursts out-'-I've had Nothing
TO Eatl'
Pursuing the theme, (on the fender my toes,
And tear trickling over the bridge of my
nose,)
thought-If a wife in our Upper Ten"
sphere
Were allowed tsay) a tri6ing five thousand a
For housekeeping, and spent every penny
upon it,
And ne'erput down as Poultry some ''duc!s"
of bonnet,
Don't You think she'd be troubled to make both
ends meet,
If her husband were one who finds Nothing
to Eat p
Wei. since that fatal night, q need scarcely
relate
When my Julian returned he was in such
state,
Nor need say here how those vile Clubs 1
hate,
For they smell SO of smoke, and they sit up SO
lAteD
Since that fatal night, the most saddening sta
tistics
I have CLEANED Of the want in the well-to-do-
districts
And by patient enquire of their wives I have
found
That alas /! starving husbands in London
abound
That cur homeless poor suffer in quite low
pitch,
70 the pangs Of cur dinnerless rich
Those poor creatures who lately have filled tlie
Times sheet
With their ritiful stories of e Nothing to Eat .
MORAL.
Now, Ladiesl Wives Sistersl for vengeance
prepare!
To a woman, we all know, the last word is
sweet;
When they twit US for saying we've Nothing
TO Wear"
Wen reply, "And, poor fellows! you've
"NoTHNG TO EATr'
Punch.
The distinction between liking and low
ng was well made by a little sixyears old. /
She was eating something at breakfast /
which She seemed to relish very much.