The Council Bluffs nonpareil. [volume] (Council Bluffs [Iowa]) 1857-1867, 1859-04-23
50 90 A YEAR, IN ADVANCE.
THE DISGUISED LOVER.
A SKETCH OF LEE.

1 ss THE DISGUISED LOVER. H.a-
SKETCH or LIFE,
Nv friend Tom has a natural affection 10
= dirt, or rather dirt has a natural Gifectio
i | for Tom. 1t was to him what gold was t.
Midas; whatever he touches turns to dirt
No matter how white the cravut-no matte
how immaculate the vest, the moment tha
it comes within the sphere of Toms influence
.. its whiteness is gone, it is immaculate NJ
longer. Dogs, sweeps and lamplighters new
er pass him without leaving upon his dres
unequivocal marks of the presence. Once
and only once, saw him cross the stree
, without encountering the wheels of a car
riage. | opened my mouth to congratulate
him, and before could utter one word, i
was filled With mud. The careless block
head lay at my feet, full length in the gut
ter. At my earnest solicitation, he once
purchased suit precisely mud color.
II was aa capital idea. He crossed tht
street three times; he walked half mile, and
returned, in inappearance, at least anseathed
The thing was unprecedented. True, hi
was welcomed by the afectionate caresses
of dog that bad been enjoying the coolnes.
Of neigh boring horsepond; true he rece vec
a showerbath from the wheels OF an omni.
bus. But to plaster mud on Toms new coat
was to gild refined gold,''to paint the lily.
sTom will be neat man YETI said, as
witnessed the success of my plan. .@".'
In about half an hour, it was my fate tc
meet gentleman with seven stripes of green
paint on his btck-it was my friend Tom.
he had been leaning on some newly painted
window blinds. -g... .sa .....+
His shoeblack declares that he can't see
no use in blacking his boots, when they nev.
er remain black and his washerwomnn,
with very proper regard for her own rep
utation, has been compelled to discard him,
not for any ill-will, but, as she declared
with uplifted hands, IF any one asked me
if washed Mr.. Smiths clothes, what could
Itell them?' But therewere very few things
in this world with which Tom could have
more easily dispensed, than the services OF
bis washerwomDn.
Having no other amusement, one morning.
| strolled over to Toms rooms. As as
cended The stairs, heard his voice in very
decided tone, :But it must be done, so there's
an end to it, r." -...'
'Really,' was the reply, Anything within
the limits of possibility, but to make coat
in ten hours-l will promise anything in the
world, but really fear shall be unable to
PERFORM H."
IF double your price would be any OBJ
ject.'
Certainly, sir, if you insist upon it; GER
tai ly. Twill put every man in my shop up
on it it shall be done in time. Good morn-
ing, SIR
The door opene !, and fellow with shears
and measures passed out. WEat could Tom
be doing with tailor?
sJust the man want to see,' be exclaim-
ed. Il require your advice upon very im-
portant affair which of these cravats do ! ou
think most becomIng?' and he spread before
me soma half dozen of every hue and fash
ion. -.. e. .... t-..
Now, what in the name Of all that is won-
deifui, does this mean, Tom: fancy ball,
is it You have chosen an excellent dis
guse, your dearest friends will never know
you. Bat you cannot support the character;
if you had taken that Of u chimney sweep,
now; bat that would have been too natural.
Tell me truly, Tom, what does all thi.
meant er-..
'Why, the fact is, Frank passing hand
through his hair, redoIens OF macassar,
have concluded-I think shall be a litt t
,norp neat in future. You do"hsless -"rn
time since, it has had an excellent effect,
assure you.'
Now it SO happened. that of all the good
advice had gIven to Tom, thiswas the yer,
first instance 10 which he had seen fit TO fol-
low IL. So could not attribute the meta
mor2hosis Of nv friend to my eloquence.-
WHO but woman ever changed IL sloven to
a fop? ~
sPray where are you going this eyenius,
| continued, that veu must have new Goa,
50 suddenly" ~
Going? nowhere ii particular. had,
indeed, some idea of calling on my old friend,
| Mr.. Murray. No harm in that, hope.
Conviction began to fash upon me.
'Your old friend, Mr.. Murray, and his
vounq n;ere. Mss Julia, has no share in your
VISIT, suppose? heard that she arrived
in town tast night =
'Now, upon my word, Frank, you mistake
me entirely. did not know that she was
in town last nigh.-when THAT is, when
IL did not know anything about it, b.
'And so you were there last night, too
Really, this is getting along braveiy.'
'Why, the fact is, Frank, you must kno"
everything. called, last night, TO see Muir
!. raw on some business. about the real estate.
YOU know. had no more idea of meeting
a woman than boa constructor, my be.rd
was three days old. and the rest Of my dres'
in excellent keeping. ihecau,n engaged II
, conv rsation, and somehow or other, f"rgo
all about the real g ii e. -, -. @-s
And so you are gong asan tonight, a'.s
that is the secret Of your new coat
sBy no means, wanted a new coat, ant
tailors are always so long. you know. d.
, you think blue will become me? Blue i
, her favorite-that isl mean llue---
'Oh, 60 on-don't stammer-blue is he
|, favorite color, is it p
, sThe fact is, Frank-take another glass o
this wiue-the fact is--good wine. isn t. 1t
v been two voyages to the lndies the fact Is
| rather fancv-l an, httle in love. Tr
, , some OF that sherry. What are the symp
toms, Frank! a queer feeling about tn
; heart, and something which drives the bloc
, through one Ike ligbtnng!'..
l Exactly ! believe have seen Julia
/ short and chubby, isn't she-with red han
and little sqnins eyed?'
q Frank, never did knock you down, thu
I have been tempted to do - great man
r times, but if you doa't stop that nonsens'
4 l will
sQuite valiant in defense of your lad!
love. Well, Tom; will confess that she
a lovely girl, and tomorrow, viii con
and learn your success. So, good morl
> ing.' -... -~a.rs s.~e- =. -a.. ..~.
" , E-f = ..,.-sa.. -E . s.t -
/. sWell, Tom, what success?'
n 'Would you believe it! She did not r
. cognize me.' ....-~ ...........,. =.
. Not recognize ycu?'
lie 'No, you know what quiz that MUIR
le is. As soon as he saw me enter. dressed
le such style, he came up, shook hands wi
II me and, without giving me il chance to 5
s. a word, introduced me to julia Us Mr.. Ere
er erick Somebody. And would you believe
xt the little witch did not know me. thins
IS should not forget her SO easily. Nor "
he that all. Murray said something about t
re fellow who called there the previous event
4: "a country cousin. he said clever enoue
ut but an incorrigible sloven. Aud Julia ..
q he dressed like bsrharian-just think
THAT, Frank-a barbar.an! She shall ?
= for that yet. Such eyes--apd she steps Il
ou queen. Well, Frank, clean collar d
~