Arkansas true Democrat., 1859-05-25

we'll, tney surfehders so soon Tn the lite that the children foch 'em home with a split hickory ontu thar tails, an they'd sham dead ontil their necke wer broke. The rifle shet the bills an opened the claws owe the hawks and owls, if they cum afore axin. F. tn the buzzards, they were list let alone, fur they never wunted what we'd hev.- The wqlnss, all matters agin 'em an the county so we kep them thin monsous casey. I he rats we lief tu the little dogs and and what with shakin an box traps the wimmen dindn't cumplain. Now the black snakes, sum humans am Jur Men and sum cgin eae, an as black snakes by thar selfs, they didn't poster env body much, 50 doesn't take em inter account We fit poll cats UT not, cordin tu the we puns we he'd, when we overtuck em. If we he'd rife and seed one at fifty steps. he quit squrtin, If he wer nj onter us. we just run like hell an that aindel the fte.
 But things am changed now. The whole dam list owe the inimies tu the humans what am in varmint shape am cum tucether in love feas, an ef they kin do half they wunt tu the coon will De squire, the groun hog constable, all the wolf preacher, an humans mus dig roots fur a Twin and the he's howl on the cliffs when they wants the cumpanv ove the she's. l'll be eek Realistically durn'd ef hit aiat. Mine what l says, durn'd natral born fool es knows l is, hits battle fur life, UT vittils as they call hit, atween humans and huma. nlty an the varmints an dam rascality. If hit haint you may hey wun of these were Iaigs fur well poll, and that's ellal tn oflerin my life tn yu. l prizes these here Iaigs more nor preacher prizes a rich wife. l'se in yearnest, l is.
 "Now, Sut, 1 am in a hurry, and wish you to stick to your text. What happened next"'
 Oh Lordy, George, Tse fear'd l cant tell you all this time. l haint cum tu thar speeches, what they made, UT thar ftin, UT the onspeakable time they he'd in big stone house on tie hill, or how they were made tu separate thar se1s, and my big skeer hit wer ONE: I'm associately durn q an separately dam ef hit want But es you's alters in hurry, iist you mini, l lef off talkin about em in the moyuin while they wer racIlin roun the streets atore they tuck peression ove the big stone house ontu the hill, what hes big rock Iantien top ove Hit, an I'll tell you all oye hit on Monday About that lar quar- ter you loaned me luther day: Clap>haw only tuck hit es d pistsreen, an J ake Doyle owes me half dollar. Now give me change for hit an he may give hit tn you soon. How much change, Sut?" Oh, another Quarter1 do ef hit has eagle ontu hit. Mine what 1 told you tother day; don't tell what Eve been talkin about W whar thar am any pet coons UT simmon trees in the yard. Don't you get me intu any scIape. 1 dus all that sortcr work fur my sci An mine, most owe all, every dam oncircum>ized, onmitigated, stinkin, stealth varmint on yearth am in lovo-teas agin the hrmans, an ef l aiM one you am. Good bye little hoss.
 "Now isn't hit pity sich purty gall es |, shall go away to Georgy to ketch cold an die. Stay away, stay away, tell you gals stay away
 ] iiS' wish, George, l may never see a still house agin this side ove the bone yard, ef l haint bigger fool nor ever. Ise losin my varmint sense; l never he'd much other kind tn brag owe; an prided myself on my varmint noledge, case hit actuated my laigs an ontu 'em puts all my trust. My human sense never did me any good, as I knows on: whiIa L-..~r'-44 s,ot mo inter tfe dHrnGeSt wust sort owe Scfaptes. alters know'd an acnoledged myself na- tral born durn'd fool, as humans look at hit; but the sense l got through the streak owe varmmt what's iNtu me never failed me ontil now, ali ] sorter wishes fur test A test tn see ef hits loss effects the moshun an instincks owe these we're laigs, an eff hit dus you'll never see out agin, es Sut. Elf you sees enything owe me at all hit'll be my cackus, my bones, UT a pile owe dirt atop owe me; fur dam ef stays wun day above the grown without I'se sure eff these we're laigs es they wer when they toted me beyant ole Burns fox houns for es I hes often to!d you, they're my only pendance fur life. Take my laigS, an hits wus nor takin my gall UT mypuss.
 "What has got this foolish notion in your head, Sut?"
 Why, the strange ways at the promiScus love feas the vaImints hilt, what 1 wer telIin owe you about; the way the wolf changed mater with the musrat-hearin possum talk like ontu coon, an the coon all oh hOC put on the ways ove the fox, an the fox in turn act owl, an then the owl act eagle, an all owe em assemblin ove thar sctS fur wun pulpoS, vITTILs. I've thought onter hit an thought onter hit an thought onter hit until l aint sure I'd know king fisher from q washvoman's indigo rag Thar ways an thar talk an thar purpys hev run me nj ontu crazy. l never hean tell owe sich contradictions atore, not even among a gang owe gals at frolic. But Ill tell you all ove hit, an es you hes sum humen sense you may spain hit an make my mind easy, eff you don't jis will look forard tu sum calamity tu cum ontu this range, wus nor celery an scasity ove whisky, UT a loss owe the use owe laigs. Oh, m durnd ef hit haint orful prospec when the var hints owe opposite matters plots together agin the humans, and the onl y hope 1 sees is thev's dun so much durn stealth and ras- cality that they's becum cowardly; that is, ef hit Work'd on em es hit dus onter hu- mans. lou knows that mean man can't stand up squar tn lite, and ef he dus he don't tite much to speak owe. If thar wa ter don't change on this pint, I iis wish may be methodically. numerically, an har- moniously dam ef thar'll be a er-datorv varmnt lief alive inter the corporate limits owe Tennessee by the middle owe Angus neX. I'm gwine intu Mot hunt; l takes two chances intu that ar raffle, l dug; Pse arter tails, arter hides, arter skalps, arter feathers, arter wool, arter har arter meat, an, bad es hit is, l'se arter scent. mean tu gin what time l ken spar rum nessesary runnln whisky, frolics, gals, an kerds tu my country, an hel p save vittils fur the humans instead owe hevin grounhogs eat pouncake; buzzards, sassidge; and pole cats fried chicken; while humans hey carron, simmons, thinner an crawGsh raw. The chdnge acould be ogtn mater, an I'll list die lust. Et Int cums tu that, put me down ln the next census es among the starved, an et you thinks me wuth hit, jist rite fur m org ct e l,o I -zI Il.