The Cass County Republican. [volume] (Dowagiac, Mich.) 18??-1880, 1859-06-02
From the Cleveland Plaindealer.
The Inherent Snowman sees Piccolomini

From the Cleveland Plaindealer.
The Inherent Snowman sees Piccolomini.
Genz-I arroved in Cleveland on
Saturday p. M, from Baldwinsville Jest
in time to fix myself up and put on
cleaned billed rag to attend Miss Pickle
hominy's great musical sorry at the Me-
lodeon. The krowds which pored intu
the hall augured well for the show bis
mis- & with cheerful sperrits jined the
enthusiastic throng. / asked Mr..
Stsakhosh at the door if he parst the
profession, and he sed not much he
didn't, whereupon / bawt preserved
seat in the pit, and observing to Mr..
Strakhosh atheneedn't puton so many
French airs becaws he run with big
show, and that he'd better let his weskut
outa few inches, or praps he'd bust his
self some fine day, / went in and squat
ted down. 1t was a sad thawt to think
that in all that varst aujience Scarcely
Sole had the honor of my acquain-
lance. q this ere," said bitterly,
"is fame ~ What signerfy my wax
figurs and Twin beests (which have no
ekals) to these peple? What do they
care becawz site of my Kangero is
worth bubble the price of admission,
and that my snaiks is as harmls as the
nu born babe--all of which is strictly
tru-?" shood have gone on ralien
at Forth and things sum more, but Just
then Signer Maccarony cum out and
sung hairey from some opry or other.
He had on his store cloas d6 looked
putty slick must say. Nobody didn't
understand nothin abowt what he sed,
and so they applauded him versiferous-
ly. Then Signerss Brignoly cum out e
sung mother hairey. He appeared to
be in Pensiv Mood & sung Luv song
I spose, tho he may have been cussin
the aujience all into a heep for aut /
knowed. Then cum Mr.. Maccarony
agin9 e Miss Picklehominy herself
They sung Dot together.
Now you know, gentz, that / doant
admire opra music. But | like Miss
Picklehominy's stiIe. / like her gate.
She suits me- There has bin crater
singers and there has bin more boot
iful wimin, but no more fascinating
young female ever longed for a new
goun, or side to place her he'd agin a
vest pattern than Maria Picklehominy.
Fassinatin peple is her best holt. She
was born to make hash of mems buzz
Gums and other wimin mad because
they amt Picklehominy. Her face
sparkles with amusin business, and
about 200 two hundred) little bits of
funny devils are continually dancin
champion .jigs in her eyes, said eyes
bein brite enuff to lite a pipe by. How
should like to have little Maria out
on my farm in Baldinsville, Iniinany,
where she Good sun in the tall grass,
wrastle with the boys, cut up strong at
parin bees, make up faces behind the
minister's back, ty auction bills to the
skeolmaster's coat tales, set all the fell
lers crazy after her, & holler, & kick up
IL 60 it jest as much as she wanted
to!
But degrees. Every time she came
canterin out grew more and more del
lifted with her. When she how'd /
how'd. When she powted her SWEET lips
| powted mine. When she larfed l
larfed. When she jerked her head
back and took larfn survay of the
auiience, sendin brodside of sassy
smiles in amung EN-, trid to unjint my
self d kollapse. When, in teIlin how
she dreampt she lived in Marble Hauls
she sed it tikled her more than all the
rest to dream about her Teller all the
same; made an effort to swaller N.Y.
seize: but when, in the next song, she
looked strate at me and cald me her
Dear, wildly told the man next to me
that he might hav my close, as | shood
never want them agin no more in this
ere world.
In conclushun, Maria, / want you to
do we'll know that you are mic Gal
at hart d yu must git good husband.
He must be a man of branes & gump-
shun 81 good provinder-a man who
will luy yu strong and long-a man
who will luv yu jest as much in your
old age, when your voise is cracked
like an old tea kettle & yu can't get
one of your notes discounted at so per
cent a munth, as he will now, when WI
air yung 81 charming d ful of musick,
sunshin 81 fun. Don't mary snob,
Maria. You amt Angel, Maria, &
I'm glad of it.
When see angels in pettycoats Pm
always sorry they amt got wings SO
they can quietly fly off where they will
be deprecated. Yu air woman, a
mighty good one too. As to Maccaro-
ny, Brignoly, Mullenholler and them
other fellers, they can take care of them
selves. Old Mac kin max a cumfurta-
BILE Twin chopin cord wood if his voise
ever gives out, and Amodo looks as
tho he might succeed in conductin sum
quiet toll gate, where the yittles would
Be plenty & the labor lite.
I'm preparin for the summer Cam
pane. shall stay in Cleveland few
days and probaly yu will hear from me
agin, ear leave to once more BEGUN
tossor on life's tempestuous billers,
meanin the Show Bisnes.
Very Respectively Yours,
ARTEMUs Ward.