Glasgow weekly times. (Glasgow, Mo.) 1848-1861, 1859-07-14

A RIDE.-DurlDg Inc hevoiulonary way
when corps Of the American, army. wers
encamped near Elizabethtown, New Jersey
an officer was rather more Of devutee OF
Venus than Of Mars, paid his attention to,.ls
lady of distinction whon he was in the habit
Of twisting nightly, in the cultivators of those
kindly feelings which love So cordially in-
spires. On the discovery of the cause Of
the repeated absence Of the officer and Of the
place where his interviews with his Dulsciz
nea where had, some wagish friends resol-
we'd to play off handsome trick at his e1-
pense, which should deter him from rep;
etitlon of his amoreus visits. The ofkcer,it
appears rode a very small horse, of the
pony kind which he always left united, with
the bridle-reins over his neck, near the
door until the business Of courting and kiss
ing was over, and the horse always remain
ed until backed by the owner, without at
tempting to change position. On q certain
verv dark night, when the officer had, a.
usual, gone to pay his devoires to the obs
iects of his objections and was enjoying the
approving smiles Of the fair one, his wag-
gish companions went privately to the door
Of the house where the officer was, took ths
bride and saddle from the horse, which
they quietly sent away, and placed tbs
former on the tail, and the latter on the
back of very sober cow, with the crup..
per under its horns, who stood peaceably
chewing her cud near the spot. Immsdiz
ately thereafter they retired sone distancs
from the house, and separating, raised the
loud cry of alarm, that the enemy had land7
ed, and were marching in full force into the
village. On hearing the voice of alarm the,
people ran cut greatly excited, and cOnster--
nation entering every dwelling, found its
UNIV elcomed way speedily into the household
temple where our official hero was worship,
ing. Taking counsel from his fears and
snatching hasty kiss, be started from ths
lady's chamber, and rushing rapidly down
stairs, shot out Of doors with. the velocity gs
musket ball, and owing to the darkness ;t
the night, not seeing the interesting change
in the conformation Of his nag, mou,ssd
hastily into the saddle with his back towards
the cows head, and plunging his sharp spu-S
into her side, and causing her to, bawi ous
with excessive pain and she DARED of IN II
gallant style, and in her best gallOp mads
for the camp, The officer still plying hi,
trusty spurs and whip 10 the skin and bone
of the suffering animal, and with all his love
and wine aboard finding himself hurried
rapidly backwards, maugre with all his ef-
forts 10 advance, and hearing the repeated
Rawlings of the tortured and frightened an.
imal began to imagine that he was carried
off by magic; roaring Justify that '.old
scratch had got him, was carried, in this
state purturbation up to the very lines Of
the camp. The courageous sentinels, hear
ing the noise, and supposing, no doubt, that
Hannibal and his oxen were coming, dis
charged their pieces and fed. The alarm.
guns were fired. The drums beat to arms.
The officers left their quarters, and cried,
turn out! turn QUIT" with all the strength
of their lungs, The soldiers started from
their sleep, as if ghost had crossed their
dreams-and the whole body running half
naked together, formed as quickly as possis
bic in gallant dishabille, prepared to rspeii
the terrible invader. When 10! the ludi-
crous sight soon presented itself to their.
eyes, of the gallant officer mountsd on an
old cow, with his face toward her tail, and
his appendage sticking straight out behind
her sides CORY with the previous gigging.
of1he spurs, and the rider himself, owing to
excessive fear, almost deprived Of reason
and half presrifed with horror. A loud and
general roar Of laughter broke from the as
sembled band, at the rider and his steed.-,
The whole corps gave him three times three.
81 4 70 J. r 49, =
hearty cheers, as he bolted into camp, and.
he was seized and carried into his quarters
in triumph there to dream Of loves meta.
mOrphoses backwards rides, stsrnwaY ad7
vances and alarms of invasion, and thereby
garnish his mind with materials for writing
splendid treatise on cow-ology. sl
EEvery enobling sentiment ofnanhood,
every tender memory Of the heart, every