The Grand Haven news. [volume] (Grand Haven, Mich.) 1858-18??, 1859-08-17
Miscellaneous Items.
TILE nIFFKRENcr.

Saratoga and Newport You've seen them
- Said Charley, one morning 10 joe;
Pray tell me the difference between thcm,--
For bother my wig If know
..Quoth Joe,r Tis the easiest matter
At once to distinguish the two
At one you go into the watcr
At the other it goes into you?'
[Boston Post.
-Ifa man marry shrew, are we to
supposed he is shrewdG
The Brunswick Telegraph gives, in
proof that hen is immortal, 'that her
son never SETS" Y.s -os
- The yankee who was lying at the
point of death, Whitfield it off with his
jack knife, and is now recovering.
-"Can you return my love, most ador-
able Julia?" Certainly, sir; I'm sure |
don't want it," s'-7-'7 't' ~
"A man never so beautifully shows
his own strength rs when he respects
woman's weakness. . 81.
: Glory is well enough for rich man,
but is of very little consequence TO poor
Hiah Win llrSo liiiilly.
- Those who get along most happily
after marriage are those who were most
candid with each other before that event.
= What is the difference between u
carriage wheel and carriage horse? One
goes better when il is tired, the other
don't. t-
ado you know who built this
bridget" said son TO Hook " No."
replied Hook; "but if you go. over you'll
be tolled" .,-..t ........ ID. =. 80.
+. = Life is not all smiles and roses; and
without deeply rooted conviction Of faith
and hope, 1t is impossible for any human
beings to live truly happy life.
- During the late severe weather a
COW is said to have caught such cold
that she has yielded nothing but ice
creams ever since.
= A Mississippi editor calls us an 'old
pirate If he were TO use such language
to our face,hc might find us free bootcr
' s' r' Louisville Journal q
- Speaking of tiresome young lady,
Cousin Jerry observes that she has moth
ing Of originality about her, unless il
may happen TO be original SIM
-" Sister, are you happy 2" Yes,
Deacon, feel as though / was in Belize.
bulbs bosomr p "Not in Belzebub'sr p
We'll, some one Of the patriarch's ]
don't care which,"
= Prudence is commendablc virtue
II prevents man from doing unwise nc.
tions. II is likewise shackle on his gen.
crosity. But prudence in excess clearly
assimiIates to meanncss. .-- q, =.
= Said an astronomer to bright
eyed girl when talking of rainbows, "Did
you ever see lunar bow, miss!" al
have seen beau by moonlight, if that is
what you mean,," was the sly rejoindcr
- A young aud pretty lady remarked
the other day, that u young man who did
not take paper was not deserving the
affections Of an amiable woman. A SEN
sible lady, we think
- A hen pecked husband being told
by the parson, that he would be joined
by his wife in another world, never more
to be separated from her said: "Parsor
| hope you will not mention the unpleas
SAINT circumstance again"
= Sam.-"Gumbo, whar does you liy,
now, eh" ,.
Gumbo.-"I doesn't live no whar nov
I glib up residing tree weeks ago, anc
moved off on account of the rainy wealth
err s
p - On a tomb stone near San Diego
California, the inscription reads thus:-
This ycre is sakrid to the memory of VIII
liam Henry Skaraken, who cain to hi:
deth by bcin shot by Colts revolver
one Of the old kind, bras mounted and o
such is the kingdom of heaven"
- IL takes four things to make tholo
gentleman. You must be a gentleman
in your principles, gentleman in you
tastes, a gentleman in your person, and (
| SctbitilIui III lOui 'luhiiSIS. ANO iiihu w IN
does not combine these qualities can be
justly named y true gentleman. -.4
An American poet, discoursing Of
the eyes of rival lady loves, exclaims-
:. The bright black eye, the melting blue.
cannot choose betwixt the two!
| -s t- ~ Boston Post.
i. Sobody's deva, says:
A right smart blow bctwixt the two,
Will quickly make them black and blue.
= Editing newspaper is good dea
like making fro. Everybody supposes
he can do il little better than anybody
else We have. seen people doubt thei
fitness for apple pudding, ex-driving, anC
counting lath; but in all our experienc,
we never yet met with that individual
who did not think he could double th,
circulation of any paper in Two months.
- After all, the most natural beaut,
in the world in honesty and moral truth
For all beauty is truth. True features
make the beauty Of face; and true pro