The eastern clarion. [volume] (Paulding, Miss.) 1837-1863, 1859-05-25
From the Pdrkersb,Tg { Tq.) Nars.
The Bridal Tour of a Male and Female
Re6-Wamuz

OF beautiful crimson cars following it, came |
in sight.
"Theseyour trunks ?" said the baggage
master
"Well, sorter calculate them's 'em,"
said Jeems.
The trunks "a spotted hair trunk and a |
very old-fashioned valice) were soon in
the baggage-car, followed by Jeems and
Lie.
"Pll be derned if railroad amt a fine
thing, said Jeems, seating himself on his
luggage, and carefully holding up the tail
of his tight-bodied blue, adorned with re-
splendent metal buttons, out of the dust,
"Lize, set here by me-"
Come out of that" said the baggage !
man: you're in the wrong car"
The hell | am, Dye s'pose | don't |
know what Pm about? These is my |
| traps and | calculate to stay where they |
ar. Keep quiet, Lie they say we've got
to fight our way through the world any
| how, and if that chap with the cap on
wants anything, why Pm his man. Don't
want any of yer tooling round me -
Here the captain interposed, and ex-
| planned matters, insomuch that Jeems
consented to leave his traps and follow the
captain. What was his delight when he
surveyed the magnifcence OF the frst-class
| passenger-car into which he was ushered.
His imagination had never, in its widest
| flight, pictured anything half so gorgeous.
| He was aroused from the contemplation
of the splendor around him by the shrek
of the iron horse.
"Jeewhillikens what in thunder's
that ?" exclaimed Jeems.
That's the horse squealing when they
punch him in the ribs with a pitchfork
to make him go along" said a sleepy in
dividual just behind him.
Look here, stranger said Jeems, 81
reckon you think | am a derned fool
may be | am: but there's one thing |
know, and that is you'll get your mouth
broke eff you don't keep it shet. | don't
say much Just at that moment they
found themselves in Egyptian darkness,
and then was heard a scream, almost
equal to that of the engine from Lie, as
she threw her arms around the neck of
Jeems
Il knew it," exclaimed the sleepy look
ing individual: 1--WE are all lost-every
mothers son of us. We can Just prepare
to make the acquaintance of the gentle
man in black, who tends the big fire
down below"
'Oh Lord, Jeems, what will become of
us? felt skeery about gittin' on the
outlandish thing at fustw
Keep quiet, Lie !-hollerin' wont do
any good now. Ef you know any prayer,
now's your time to say it, for both of us"
What is the matter here?" said the
astonished conductor, coming up as the
train once more emerged into the light
That's just what I'd like to know"
said Jeems, when he saw that Lie and
himself were still alive.
We've just passed through Eaton's tun-
| Vol lislx
! far are you going?"
"Well, reckon Wen stop at Parkers-
; burg"
= ''Show your tickets, if you please"
! 'Sertinly. Lie, you got some with you I.
\ Let this gent look at EN-"
e Lie drew a piece of white paper from
! her reticule, and with smile, handed it
L to the conductor, who read:
: The pleasure of your company is re-
l. | spectfully solicited etc.
c What's this ?" said the captain.
"Why, that's one of the tickets to our
: weddin'. That's what you asked me for,
1 hain't it?" said the somewhat astonished
(. Jeems.
: "Haw haw haw - was the discord-
! ant sound that arose from the seat of the
i, sleepy-looking individual.
4 A bland smile passed over the face OF
i. the captain, as he explained his mean
i ing to our verdant friend. He had
% % no ticket, but willingly paid his fare, and
II the train sped on to its destination. But
wonders did not cease. Presently, our
A. pert newsboy, Billy, entered the car, and
e stepping up to Jeems, asked:
!. Have a So', sir?"
% "Well, if | have my way about it, the
n fust one will be a son, sertin,' said Jeems
r. Lie blushed
s Don't count your chickens before
~ they're hatched," said Billy, as he went
:" on to the next car.
r In due time the train stopped at the
a big depot in this city. Amidst the contu
L sion of strange noises and the babel of dis
a cordant voices, our friends landed on the
st platform.
g BUS. sab? Bus sab free for the Uni
ii ted States ~ said the sable porter of ou
ee uptown house. Lady take bus sab 2
Ir "Well, | rather s'pose she won't from
~ anybody but me-reckon I'm able to dt
u, all in that line she wants, and more too.
q "Go to de Swami House, sab ?-righ
ial across de street-best house in de city
bc This way, sir! Any baggage ?-have
Of sent to your room in few minutes"
~ In short time Jeems and his brid
found themselves in one of those comfor
! able rooms on the second floor of that we
ordered establishment the Swami Hous,
Their luggage was sent up with the usui
ave promptness. and our friends were 500
ing making their toilet for dinner. Jeem
,,hee had his coat and boots off in iitfey, an
e Lies hair fell gracefully over her shou
Of ders.
viz. That's du-eed pretty torsel," sa
Jeems. eyeing the bell-cord; "wond
what its for" and catching hold of i
the "look, it works up there on a sort of
Ills thingumbob. I'd like to have that tors
tt,e tter to put on my horses head. next must,
Dis day: see how it works" said he, giving
'hS pull.
t on Presently the door opened, and the
: or BILE face of one of Afric's sons was thru
into the room, with the inquiry of, 'Rir
sab ?"
Ring? ring what ?-you black APP
,,boi ru Ef you don't quit looking at my wife a
aims make yourself scarce, I'll ,rr6g yc
ans head off"
ySs' ySis stop a minnit,' said Lie; whats I
ired, name of the man that keeps this tavern
'in' Mr.. Conley, marm."
sued "Well, tell his lady that she need mt
ana Tn to any extra fixin's on our account,
tiles we're plain people" said the amia
-, bride.
,,rns Ut "As they used to say in our debatin'
jas jas that motion by sayin' you can tell 'em
rick, fix the best they've got. I'm able to |
Fox for it, and don't keer for expenses"
iiss. ''Tee-hee, tee-heew was the only au
son, bic reply from the sable gent, as he h
~ II =. ried down stairs.
Gar Dinner came, and was dispatched W
II relish. Jeems and his bride took a str
ntR. over the city, seeing the lions and otl
sights until supper time, which bel
~ over, they retired to their room. The
ly was lit 10y the servant, who received
wv bright quarter for his services. Jee
was the last in bed, and according to
rule in such cases. had to put out
!, light, which he did with a blast from
id! lungs.
The noise in the street had died ava
arm and quiet reigned in the Swami Hon'
i,,re The Young man on the watch dozeu
Its his chair. The clerk (rather corPuieI
was about to retire, when he though
smelt gas; the guests (some oi w,
thought they smelt gas MucH % a, s,
,uds his will. the clerk proc 5 eueJ stron,, :,
mus whore tbe leak was. 1t seemed s'roh2
tc. in tbe neicbborhood of the room occupl'
.u,. NV the bride and groom: The clerk co
,o'S' oirdad ~ knock at the door OF the rool
..Who's there?' came rom tiie liislo'
ever Omen the door-the gas is escaping.
Fam. CasIN,ybat gas? ?" said Jeems, ope
Go. ing the door.
lum- ''Whv, mere III llils @ AooAi' ~" N'iA
ms. nut your light out y
nS ntnT. y. "Blew it out, of course
N at you played h" Our amiable Gle
:. a. came very near saying bad word, but
membering that there was lady in t
oAR- case or rather in the bed, he checked
IA by rising temper, and lighting the gas, p
t the ceeded to show Jeems the mystery of t
an. burner, as follows:
enH "Do you see this little thing her
Well when YOU want to nut il out, V