Muscatine weekly journal. [volume] (Muscatine, Iowa) 185?-1890, 1859-12-02
Funnygraphs.
1aGEA California lover writes to his sweet
heart thas-, eleven yeres is rether long
70 kors . gal, but lie hav you yit, Cate."

% @A California lover writes to MS sweet
heart thas-, eleven yeres is rether lonl
To- kors . gal, but lie hav you yit, Cate"
ha4"Mr. s., is your customer B. q mar
% Be trusted - 81 know Of none more so
He II to be trusted for sver he neve
pays:"Ei' ~, .r't,I =" s..'-aogsr ~, qc4
TA Missouri husband, at the grave o
his wife, said: .s'I've lost cows, Pye los
sheep l've lost calves and I've lost horses
but this ,is the wust Of the whole lot J"
A MopEsr DuN.-The Texan Mercury, il
. modest dun to its patrons, says-"Sane'
little sums to come unto US, for OF such Is
our INCOME, s.. ;. eff, nta,l,.. .. .. ~
H-~6rjpps, I understand you have
superior ray Of curing hams. should
like to Learn ierr;ip SWELL, yes,l know very
Well how to esYs them but the trouble
with mo just now 10 how to pro cure them.'
% T"Wsigh. your words" said man
to !. fellow who was clustering away in .
towering passion at another.
'They wouldn't weigh much if he did,
said his antagonist. 5e"s
E"Wsll, Patrick" asked the doctor
Show do YOU feel to-day 7" "Och, doctor,
dear, enjoy very poor health entirely
The rumatics are very distressing indsde !;
when l. 70 to slape, lay awake all night,
and me toes are swilled up as big goose
hens egg, SO whin' stand up l fall. down
Immediately"
~A Yankee, escorting British officer
around to view objects of attraction in the
vicinity Of Boston, brought him to bunker's
Hill. .~--t ff .-g
.This is the place where Warren fell"
said the Yankee.
"Ah p said John Bull, "did it hurt him
much ~ 80. a., 49,. .rc 4s.. e.
"Hurt him? He was killed, sir.' ..g
ssAh was he 20 said John, that was not
surprising, considering the distance he fell"
~ A darkey preacher arose to an
nounce his text, as follows: a.'
s'In de fust pistol Of Glover, second chap
ter, and de two hundred and ninety-fust
verse, you will" .rg -r.
't""noid up, doctor Y asssiei one Of his
hearers; "you've got inzzs swrong book,
you mean de pistol of Timothy, s'psse ?"
a. The preacher, hesitated moment and
with. q very profound look said s... r.
"Well, dar, / must cave IN dis time;
thoupii | know'd dat de text was somewhere
among de yarbs I" @. II I. -aiEn'f -
t EA brave old darksy, during the last
Miller excitement had boasted, that ne
wasn't afraid OBJ de angel OBJ de Lord. No,
sab The darkey slept in room finished
Of with rough board partition. One
night just % lie was getting into bed he
was startled with knocking on the far-
tition that made all jar again. .,...
"Who dar :" ---
"De angel OBJ de Lord !"
"What ur want 9"
"Want Sanbo."
i Out " rent the light and under the bed
clothes went Sambo.
."No 'ich niger here, sab, been gone desc
tree weeks" .-
~A few years ago, when it was the Gus
tom of large boys and girls to attend the
district schools, an incident took place IN a
neighboring town which is worth recording.
One of the fairest and plumpest girls OF the
school happened to violate one OF the teach
er's rules. The master, a prompt, energetic
fellow Of twenty-five, summoned her into
the middle of the floor, After interrogat-
ing the girl few moments, the master
took q rule. and commanded her to hold
ont her hand. She hesitated, when the
master tLundered out, "Will you give me
your hand" eyes, sir, and my heart, too,"
promptly replied the girl, and at the same
time stretching forth her hand to the mas
ter, and eyeing him with cunning look
A death like silence reigned for moment
in the school tear was seen to gisten in
the masters eye; the ruler was laid upon
the desk, and the blushing girl was re-
ouested to take her seat, but to remain at-
ter school pas dismissed In three weeks
the school was aud ou', the teacher and girl
were married. ..s...-