New-York daily tribune. [volume] (New-York [N.Y.]) 1842-1866, 1859-05-03

| lhE riF<I -NttoNb o. siAf-f'c orc ""' PN''N<'N's
certain that there is modern mythology generally &C
cep.ed by the genuiectiye multitude but if there be
there must be large-szed aud periodically potent
deity who has in his special keeping the interests Pc
cuniarily speaking, Of cartmen and cabinet-makers-
though ri cabinetmakers, don't exactly see, Tor
there is no such thing as a cabinet now made otener
than in four years aud then 1t l. too often ou Oh
such poor stuff that any respectable mechanic would
blush If caught imposing the public as timber mt
| for Christian use. Perhap, the reader will remark
that the last member Of that last sentence is slightly
| irrelevant. Very WE'LL let him say who cares
Haven't We sci us resolyedly down to write I'VE Il
bet more money that you don't know what that cabalistc
.ign means than We will tina, Sayers viii whop IIee-
nan in their little argument about the Championship
of All CreaionD about the LIST of May, and aren't we
going to do il or hun, vertebra I'VE latter ourselves
that osseous explosive o. peculiar to this establish
ment and that our anatomical knowledge here crops
out to tolerable advantage although the subject has
been sucked drier than drunk -dsys-on-bad
Por.wne and-wake d-up-by Fire-at- i-in-the
morning. only to find the watering empty -and-no-
pump-nearer-than-the- one inside the high fence
where-the-bg- log-- Old Soaker. Having built the
foregoing adjective and safely launched it into the
well of English undefled, are prepared to try
back, and return at moderate pace to the Carwheel
CELESTIAL whose supposittous existence we are pre-
pared to argue. and whom We referred to in the first
sentence of this lucid paragraph the reader will
find if he has the courage again to try that fearful
depth
That III s new-fang ed Knickerbocker god Of high
handed draymen aud imperious cabinet-nakerS land,
for the matter Of that uphoterers and plumbers, to
say nothing Of painters and carpenters and all patch
ers-up Of all unconsidcred but particularly expensive
trfes and to bring into the account the butchers
and bakers and candlestick makers and all the horde
of the hard-handed who batten on the locomotive
woes Of their neghbors and wax fat and kick when
the orgies of the First Of May approach holds joy
Gus reyel at this unhappy season, all Gothamltes
know to their bitter sorrow Breathes there a man
with soul 20 dead, Who never to himself hath said,
The day of all hate and dread, Now lowers my
devoted head And when all my bills ped Ipaid
would be correct in prose, but this is poetry, we'd
have YOU To know. know ! shan't have nary red.
This new Deity, whose worship is an icOnOclasn
OF all other household gods and universal smash.
cation of the Lares, also the Penates, whoever they
may be, could by rights have demanded his annual
sacrifice on Sunday last, which the LIST of May,
according to the regular calendar but out of respect
to the propreties of christian land he didn't begin
his jubilee till yesterday, which Monday the I'd
day of May, the month of moving and anniversaries
and Quakers-andran. On horrors head, etc., why
should the supernal powers overpower Us with Al
lictions "Ian' There is Latin quotation that fits
in here but the man who could quote straight Latin
on a moving day, could preach sermon on election
while sitting under a brisk shower of volcanic fire
without an umbrella, or stand halfway up to his
knees in a rivuet of molten lava, aud sing that sweet
hymn about foretaste of immortal bliss, aud as
We are not that man. don't look out for Latin in this
days issue, for you won't get it. or If you do 1t
won't be A !.
But yesterday the sacrifice to the modernly in
| vented god who rules over the mortal mOvings,
began. The streets filled with carloads, dray-
loads, wagon-loads wheebarrow-oads and back
loads of furniture in process of transportation from
| domus to domcil, from wretched home to home more
wreched from upheaved house to house THOUSAND
| times more uprooted and overturned lnnumerable
were the smashes of tables and bookcases, and the
more ponderous articles of furniture; uncOuned were
| the eommnuted fractures in huge mirrors vast
the number of legs and arms of chairs and
sofas amputaed summarily; measureless were
the metallic tortures inflicted on grooming pianos,
whose high-strung intervals were disturbed past all
hope of surgery: more numerous than all the sands of
| any moderate sized sea-shore were the fragments
of lamps and vases and crystal globes and plates anu
pudding dishes and all the mpossibe-tobe-here emu
merated articles Of household crockery. Many were
the acres yea the square miles of carpets, of more
hues than Joseph had in his brag coat, that were
ripped and rent and ruined; and unnanabe and in
describable, and unimaginable the innumerable
degrees and varieties OF damage inflicted on every
article contained in every honse whose owners had to
obey the mperious edct Of our new Deity of furni-
tureal damages aud fractures, who Numbered to all
Gotham, Move
The cartmen were jolly; they were moved igto jul
bilant singngs and whisngs, interspersed with oc-
casional pous CALCULATIONS to their celestial boss,
which to ears unintated in the new theology, sound
ed profane. All mechanics were jolly, and are Jolly, and
will be Jolly for weeks to come, for s it not the reap
ng-time to them-the of harvest sent them by
their boss aforesaid, to whom they are all thankful
They do the sacrificing with vengeance, but their
| customers have to fluid the offerings.
Happy are they whose homes are fixtures, and not
subject 10 the fluctuations of the Spring season, and
who being thus exempt from paying tribute to the
popular superstition snap their ecstatic fingers at
the Sardonic Deity of all riot and smash who holds
high holiday on the First of May.
VISIT or THE MILWAUKEE LIGHT GUARD TO THE
CIIY.-The MHrdukee Wisconsin of the 9th inst,
says that the milwaukee Light Guard, Capt. John
{. Staokweather, will leave that city for NewYork