The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1859-10-12
WHOLE NO. l56.
The Man who wa. to MIND the Ho use

The MAN VINO was TO Mind the Ho use.
Once on q time there was man so surly
and cross he never thought his wife did any
thing right about the house. So, one even
ing, in hay-making time, he came ho,:,e
scolding and swearing, showing his teeth
and making a dust.
Dear love, don't be so angry that's a
good man." said his goody "to-morrow,
let us change our work. III go out with
the mowers and NOW, and you shall mind
the house at home" ~. ...-..... ......
Yes the husband thought that would do
very well. He was quite willing, he said.
So, early next morning, his goody took
a scythe over her neck and went out into
the hay field with the mowers, and began
to NOW; but the man was to mind the
house and do the work. ...
First of all he wanted to churn the but
ter; but when he had churned awhile, he
got very thirsty, and went down to the eel
lar to tap barrel Of ale. So lust when he
had knocked in the bung and was putting
the tap into the cask, he overheard the pig
come into the kitchen. So off he ran up
the cellar steps with the tap in his hand, as
fast he could, to look after the pig, lest it
should upset the churn; but when he got
up, and saw the pig had already knocked
the churn over, and stood there, roofing and
grunting amongst the cream which was run
ming all over the floor, he got so wild with
rage that he quite forgot the ale barrel and
ran at the pig as hard as he could. He
caught it just as it ran out of doors, and
gave it such kick that piggy lay dead on
the spot. Then all at once he remembered
that he had the tap in his hand, but when
he got down to the cellar, every drop of the
ale had run out.
Then he went into the dairy and found
enough cream left to fill the churn again.
and he began to churn, for butter they must
have for dinner. When he churned bit.
he remembered that their milking COW was
still shut up in the barn, and hadn't had a
bite to eat Or a drop to drink all that morn.
ing, though the sun was hig gh. Then all at
once he thought twas too far to take her
down to the meadow, 80 he would Just get
her on the house top-for the house, YOU
must know, was thatched with sods, and a
line crop OF grass was growing there.
Now, their house lay close up against a
steep down, and he thoughtif if he had laid a
plank across the thatch to the back, he d
easily get the COW up.
But still he couldn't leave the churn, fol
there was his little babe crawling about or
the floor, and " if leave it" thought he
the child IS sure to upset it." Sohe took
the churn on his back and went out with it.
but then he thought he'd better first water
the COW before he turned her out on the
thatch; so he took bucket to draw water
out of the well, but as he stopped down a,
the wells brink, all the cream ran out of the
churn over his shoulders and down into tho
WELL
! Now, it was near dinner time, and hi
hadn't even got the butter yet; so he tho,
he'd best boil the porridge, and filled the DO,
with water and hung it over the fire. When
he had done that, he thought the COW NIGH,
| fall of the thatch and break her legs or neck
So he got up on the house top to tie her up
One end Of the rope he made fast to the
COWS neck, and the other he slipped down
| the chimney and tied around his own thigh
and he had to make haste, Cor the water be
gan to boil in the pot, and he had to still
grind the oat meal.
SO he began to grind away; but while he
was hard at it, down fell the COW off the
house top after all, and as she fell, she drag
ged the man up the chimney by the rope.
There he stuck fast, and as for the COW, she
hung half way down the wall, swinging hall
way between heaven and earth, for she could
neither get down nor up.
And now the Goody had waited seven
lengths and seven breadths for her husband
to come and call her to dinner; but neve,
a call they had. At last, she thought she't
waited long enough, and went home. Blu,
when she got there and saw the cow hang
ing in such an ugly place, she ran up and
cut the rope in two with her scythe. But
as she did this down came her husband out
Of the chimney and so when old dame
came inside the kitchen there she found hin
standing on his head in the porridge pot
Morse Tales.