davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Newbern weekly progress., 1859-09-20

New COTTON AT NOE[OLK.-The Norfolk
Herald says:
The first bale of new Cotton arrived here this
season, was received on Saturday last by Messrs.
Odom & Clemens Il was shipped by DR.. Jos.
H. Burnett, OF Martin CO., n. @.
Martin county, has for the last three sea-
sons, sent the f1st bale of new Cotton our mar
ket.
Newbern weekly progress., 1859-09-20

G-EELY On Pnzs.oLOGY OF MARRlAGE.-The
editor of NE Tlib me in wiling from Salt Lake
Ci:y, says:
regret that have found time and opportuni-
iy to visit but QUE of the nireteen Common Schools
Of this city. MS las thi1.ly attended by child
rem, nearly all cute young and of the most rudi-
menta,y attainments. Their chronological de-
veloprlents we'e in the average bal; l say this
with freedom, since 1 have stated them in the
,Tabern e:;i i be GOOD But an told that idiotic
hIs.ranAare very if not, un-
4Aihe male saints emphysize the fact
-7ass ,;,v Of the children born here are girls,
holding ta1ol Providence smiles on their
peculiahNiiSSs.itui L, the contrary, main
tain tl,at ~ is the case in all polygamous coun-
tries ana proves simply preponderance Of vigor
the part of the mothers over that of the fathers
wherever this result is noted. / presume that a
wives in sny cor munity are girls.
Newbern weekly progress., 1859-09-20
NewberM Lighted Up With Gas--EMtiiu II
siasna--DemOnsIra, ions of Joy, etc


Last LIGHT, our Gas Works being completed and
the street lamps up, the lighting fluid was thrown
into he Street Mains for the first time, and, ny
store, saops, Offices and private residences through
out town being ready to receive it, the town WIS
one blaze OF light. Nor did the gas more
brig 4 y tran did the faces of citizens, large
numbers OF whom male and female. prone
ndding the streets TIL late hour enjoying ic evi-
dence o. new in the prosle of the ancient
borough. Pollok, South Front, East Front, Craven,
Middle, Broad and Hancock streets were all lighted
up, and as before said many business houses and
private residences Esrel4e. u a blaze of light
7 Wat would the ghosts of our old fo2y grand
kfaters have sid corld they have lest night
| ans have taken a position Hancock street and
have he iron horse with his long train of ee-
gam coaches move through the town by gas light
and the Trent ne noble vicduct which spans
it at Che foot of The seet? Wonder they wouldn't
have said " you're guane too fast-hold on-give us
| back Wagons, iallow candles,'' &c. S,anG
aside OLD ghosts; this is cge of progressive
must push or be ove--we cannot stand still
| as you did ior many ages. Nor will DE salts
| fed with what you see; come again In year OF
Two and you shall see a small wi.e stretched along
suspended in mid air, not bi ger 81 oe makers
! thread, which will a medium through
which we will converse w. ne raj1idity cf thought
with all the promnen, towns and cities throughout
|
chorus "Wal: now dew tell 81 Begone; back te
yon church yard, you ignorant ghOsteses, and don't
dare to show your heads above ground again unit
you more enlightened.
Our young friends the gunners attached to the
Elm Ciy Cadets had Their field pieces out and shook
| the very foundations OF the gre>t Geep-Neuse ane
Trent-by their loud cannonading. Everybody
seemed 10 rejoice that there light.
51r. 81 any the President of the Company, and the
| Contractor deserve much credit for the manner il
which they have discharged their dulles.
The present generation have accomplished muct
for Newbern, but there is much more for hem to GO
so let all buckle al-nor and pitch in. Il il
a laudable ambition for each one TO desire TO be
foremost in the fight
| Farewell tallow candles-we have more use fo
you. Neither our compositors nor Ourself will be
under the necessity any longer of frettng and sweat
ing over you till IL O'Clock every night. Will ou
Is burners we make our composing room
perfect food of light. Hurrah for progress the
F" Progress"
Newbern weekly progress., 1859-09-20
NUMBER So.

TIE glowing IS q ~, :. nope W ;cl
win De given 10 tee 12u-c-.ose.- c Lcc,-$ 81 g ::
| Of ss'e:
Colo V-r.cres, Tre-''- Lev, p
ent Lave~ arc LeD'oe-. 80 CO 10 S-C1 CT
| S:lve~ W. ctee. p ent Leyr'. u
| jewe7eG, tu1 ingc- .o2en-.ce
End cvI'[ e. { 9 P"rren-, IL co to 4 g
Cold Loc-,e L ,ge :s-e, -
ST. % 91G ,wo Sc = VI
Sp-.~,--l,,s s,esnd small re '
Ccneo. Mc--ic. 10, e., ire. P d. - = ~
es;, /. ". Co&> cue, 1e aud
s.. c3si''i cs" ,,s Sofs 6 70 IS Is 6 g
and r:s = Colo Sieve Buttons il.s e1d
Gold Pencils, with Pens large, ne
diuin and small, 3 so to 7 D
Silver Pencils, with Gold Pens, large.
medium and small size dou Die aud
single extension ca ,es, . 60 to 5 co
Gents heavy S;Gnet RnsS, L&,,.ca'
Gold e.; i and p,a..aE,r,-, / 20 % 7 50
wiz Opal, 5e,.,4 Pin, o2y3. C.,r,
Cs:neo Mosaic. Corel, Gs.net, - - ~
Chaseda1d Plsin OveI Bracelets, S 90 to &C co
S:: 81? S:!: S:;y; S s.: e
Tootlpcks, Watch Keys, Guard
Goldcroqsea, small, medium and large 3 90 to so
Besides other SITS, coHop.i l.g a lorre ond ve1re
frora 81 10 so
,,1Y TIE r0os ,:9fis rs r&2 Sf t1s QLnrT
earrec eiio~t@ 10 pie G g nc IL ,rlr ,:e..s
would ietu~n t1@i,s sin~~ ornA. 10 l,,,n3e%So =
tbou ld W2o !'CTe i u / I2e. co, {. 10 Ea.tow
theiS F2er@l p "'7rc;e uoon ,Ne~ - --a,I fu-
ti, theIlI ~ u.e ."o ao@ 'e H'.;,e :, t"et
them n Ciic-saa sc: e. inG5c~ ro. IL, &c, I'D
sucn a f;e OFT o e reoc1 q cay sl9~ 49,
Newbern weekly progress., 1859-09-20

U."c4 House EEroRTs.-Quet lei3ned 81 the
Ws,ch House yesteldcy morning. The Mc yor MITE
his appearance at tie usual time, ,ook iis se:t lad
a smoke END eit. Not single offende- ,>in,G / e
peace ent: quiet oi re own PIE en-.
Newbern weekly progress., 1859-09-20
1fe Newberm Agricultural Fair-APPeaI
20 the Adjoining Counties.

The erecl ION of buildings and other improve
ments are going forward rapidly Fair
Grounds beautiful track for the exercise of
booded stock has already been constructed. The
Grounds themselves taken in connection with the
surrounding scenery are not excelled by any in
the Uni eG States. The ground which the
whole is lOcaeeG is perfectly level while the en-
closure is bounded on one side by the Railroad
a1d on the other by the majestic Neuse, hand
sheet of wafer eye could wish to rest on
We do trust that we shall have some aquatic
sports connected with the Fair. It is beautiful
place for it, and then it would add much to the
other attractions,
We have already made appeal after appea! to
our Newbern and Craven friends in behalf of
Faic, and we desire TO say a few words to the
people Of the adjoining counties.
1t never was intended o. desired that ths should
be considered exclusively 2 Craven county
tesp1ise. We want Carteret, Jones, Hyde, Beau
fort, Lenoir, Wayne, Green, Onslow, and all other
counties that are near enough, to cooperate with
= - ~
Newbern weekly progress., 1859-09-20
The CoaIGeIds Rorsi---Exc"rsion. ETC.

The GOaIheIHs NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. EEc'
We find the following in the Fayetteville Caro-
nan of MondEy last:
On Saturday evening last number of Our
citizens and others took passage on the Western
Railroad to Spout Springs, about twenty miles
from town. The evening fire and there was
just sufficient number of passengers along 10 rem
der the trip pleasant and agreeable one The
track from Little River to Fayetteville is in very
excellent order; indeed, it is on the whole line
of the road, except in few occasional places
which have not been worked upon recently. At
Spout Springs water Station and warehouse are
being erected. We learn also that Messrs. D.
Murchison & Son, intend building a store and
filing it with goods at an early date. There are
some deeps cuts to be made just above this place
before the track laying can be resumed again
When these a,e finished, between four and five
niles Of track can be laid forthwith. 1t is sup
posed they will reach the twenty-four mile post
by Cnlisfmcs.'
Newbern weekly progress., 1859-09-20

Iupcov1Ne.-In pGssi = re Mc- -onc Er:lG-e3 ye5-
teid-y we no.ced that oul Theat1e be ag - !
up with view 20 thorough ie2ov, Ca s-C &C
modelling. TGs Is gl&tiiy'la % % .cl u; il
bediv needed l..
Newbern weekly progress., 1859-09-20

TO COME TO NEW YORK
NEW YORK, Sept 14.---The Herald's foreign re.
port, says that the Great Eastern had entered the
London custom house for New York city.
No signs Of the Persia.
Newbern weekly progress., 1859-09-20

# est they yas We,l as 0sfWefves Should De benefit
Ied, and they will be benefited if they viii take
hold CO The wolk and assist us in giving it that
success which the enterprise deserves. We trust
that the people of all the adjoining counties will
rot only up o the Fair but we want them
TO bring nething for Exhibition. Don't mat
Ter what it S-bring the best you have got or can
produce, whether agricultural product specimen
of mechanical skill, or mineral. Bring something.
All the friends of the Fair will bear in mind
that there is to be another meeting at the Court
House TO morrow night, and it is des; ed that
here be large attendance.
DOagISs and ttae Strong Minded Women
The Bath (Me.) Sentinel publishes the follow
ing letter purpoiting to come from Senator Doug.
las but really if Douglas wrote this letter he has
not as much good sense as we had given nim cred
it for The iGea of an aspirant for the Presidency
attending a Womans Rights Convention-would
as soon see him in mad house at Hum
bug We don't believe Douglas wrote it:
WASHINGTON, July IA. 1889.
MRS Lucy STONE.-Dear Madam Your kind
letter of the 8th inst wishing me to be present at
convention of the ladies of the Northwest, to be
convened at Chicago on the 18th of September
next, to devise measures for the promotion of the
happiness and protection of he interests and
rights of the female sex, has just been laid before
me. You are rght, Gca, Madam, Vncn you sav
that take dee! interest in ali ah&t he
ladies of our great and glorious counny. And l
need not now. after many years of la hful la
Dor in the c"pze of popular sove: e:eigniy, assG-e
you ,iIat you have. III yoIr enGeavors to obta:n
the liberty Of COVE: ming yov-se'ves in your own
way. subject on y to The Conatiiu ion OF he Uni
ted States, the full confidence OF my undivided
sympathy. l Ilegret, dear Madam, hat business
of great Importance will prevent me tom being
present at your convention.
have lie honor 20 remain. &C.
Newbern weekly progress., 1859-09-20

N.vAL SO L. r-c~oA a 'C--.-2D.-Ye learn
t1.S N. G. C. Lewis hes -eel soooin,et D. TIE
Coz Cou-., Nev- See Inspector, 10 i'll a va
cancy that existed.
Newbern weekly progress., 1859-09-20

nIIl1T 6n : P .E-la ar-Yes,e-c. : e1.e- oo' : a ~e-s
cred our san Stuu, bea. ing w,,er . wien
tived something cove ed by II; ol.'e Eae
fscoie daughter Of Afltct, Ill; a,.cd e,
bn examining we found 10 read az follows:
= tPeunington will please receive with this Gel e
3ierlimepts o; Mr.. and NJ. W.
sVo not give the full me, 3uS il .aaGe :
" Hall matrimonial noticc hat an oe;. eG in tre
PToss few days ago 1ey ca gees ii. N, ~
ina for tle kind .ememb- crce, a,d .'e yo- =
a-,eE ; ~ pair must allow us 10 e-.fc.: he wisn
l-aLeil days may be long ! *he land, end MY
tbetup o. h, pDine-s eve: owe dOw.
Newbern weekly progress., 1859-09-20

ID EcoSoav.-We notice several hoGges ebouS
baI Ist:nding tenantless-some of them gooG ores co
I'd ~ ,,e oT do not ave. c:.e item for
Nle, il some instances they chalk ''fot len' oltke
dot but people don sop to ead such loIice- HOW
e-dsye. 1t would cost The owner sone .iiLy % aG-
We tioe lem in the Progress, but then ev.ryG,v in
.&own and good msny in The coun:. = woul, know
that such and such pieces 90. .ent nd .enen s
yFoulC sool De % c:2ct. Ii :IOu,>3 -. we e
EGve iseG ,e P-oc - =. We been zen ed IL ...e
i Jew d, -. L.. :I.ee- eG retu sn1 po1-
Newbern weekly progress., 1859-09-20
ItCI'iy 70 ne tne most conn
sIfled evei issued, without an e.
100000

= leauy 10 De gwen ew V, m"iled free 20 anv ef
Iess, to all parts OF lie W. ri. |. contains all Iyo
Newbern weekly progress., 1859-09-20

ana + ous9nd valieties o. pubic..,- in eve~v de-
paif 1'2eG o! L."-t,ure. We sell :: icyT - =
many cases. lower than--any cite: n,,e :, a
CORN; AID Wih every book o. ,he v - =" one
uoiisl i. o. moe, we present some u~e.C, c. out
Newbern weekly progress., 1859-09-20

Art, Science & Nam. ]
History
a. ventures, Travels,
&c. A tlcu.Iural & Do,
meo,-c Ec, nomy,
Bellies LettIes. Esssys
&c,
Bibles,
Biographies,
DicIiou .IieS,
Encyc!oYoias,
Gaze, ZEE. },
Newbern weekly progress., 1859-09-20

r Caophical and Clas-
Slci-i Works.
Hl~,O4lcdI and MisceT-
laneous,
PGetjcal, % i! Theological,
Religious,
Law, Medical, Masonic.
standard Fictions,
Fryer, Hymn ana Glee
EOohs,
IeSt DCc,,s Tor SchCol
&c, &.
Newbern weekly progress., 1859-09-20

TNABLE CUTLERY.-Af few Sets Balance
i Handled Knives and Forks for satep 11 MS 6
j. II r. A1AhRioON o.
Newbern weekly progress., 1859-09-20

TIE Glowing is 49, = nope " :el
win De given totte ou,c-Ce"- c Lcc.-$ Ct g =: .
Newbern weekly progress., 1859-09-20

CANT DvIDE.-Friend Walter thou knowest
that we love thee, but we can't divide- Should
we be permitted to go 'halves" and get the
S., 5,0OO nary red can you get unless it be on good
fe:=a=.i.s1 DAYS Thou knowest that are i1e
nerotent. =, m--words, but in matter of
5000 harity @st:y bssns ss q. h home. N .t Can
you any g.1-xF
The penny press. [volume] (Cincinnati [Ohio]) 1859-1860, 1859-10-14

A SEVEN YEARS SToRY-Mike was
picking his teeth upon the steps of the
United States, (thereby intimating to the
"green 'uns" that he boarded there and
expatiating largely upon the doctrine
that, "if you keep anything seven years,
you will have use for il" in fact, he was
spreading" more extensively than the
subject, to the uninterested, would seem
to warrant, when Hiram, who was quietly
smoking his "meerschaum" near by, think
ing he had Mike in the locality where the
orname t of the caput is "rather thin"
interrupted him with the inquiry: "sWell
ifyou had the itch seven years, what
could you do with it?' "Give it to an ine-
my" was Mixes triumphant reply.-Port-
land Adviser.
The penny press. [volume] (Cincinnati [Ohio]) 1859-1860, 1859-10-14
HALLS PATENT.
vuvHE MosTRELIABLEFIREAN AND

Il BURGLAR PROOF SAFES.-They have given
more satisfaction than any other now in use.
LARS to any person that cam up to the present
time showa single instance wherein they have failed
to preserve their contents. -
With this SAFE we challenge all competition, as
being the best Fire Proof, Burglar Proof, or Fire
and Burglar Proof now made and are willing to
party failing first, to forfeit to the other the sum
of $1,000.
cost, than any other manufacturer in the United
States.
Second-hand Safes Of other makers, also on hand.
We respectfully invite the public to call and exam
inc our stock before purchasing elsewhere.
HALL, CARROLL h CO.,
augI2-ayf Eos. I5 and IL East Columbia street.
The penny press. [volume] (Cincinnati [Ohio]) 1859-1860, 1859-10-14

AN HONEST LANDLoRD-One of our
hotel keepers who is good natured and
witty was addressed yesterday thus:
Landlord, you let me sleep among the
big bugs last night"
''Oh! don't be too modest, my dear
lodger, 1 doubt not they have some of
your own blood in their vains."
The fact is the fellow had slept in a
bed bent with chinches.
The penny press. [volume] (Cincinnati [Ohio]) 1859-1860, 1859-10-14
HIGH SPEED RESTORED.
IN 'El -
Shortest and Quickest Route to
G n | G. A G O
AND THE NORTHWEST,
INDIANAPOLIS AND CINCINNATI,
LAFAYETTE AND CHICAGO,
SHORT LINE RAIL ROADS:
0nlY One Change Of Cdrs beteeen Gneinnati

5 n ORT- lNE RAILROA ADS,
Only One Change of Cars bet,oeen Cincinnati
and Chicago.
Three Passenger Trains leave from
the foot of Nj and Front streets.
$50 A. M.-ChicegO Mail arrives at Indianapolis at
1880 A. M; Chicago at 1925 L. NJ This train con-
nects with all night trains on of Chicago, for the
West and Northwest.
1870 M.-Terre Haute and fayfayette Accommoda-
ton arrives at. Indianapolis. at 800 P. NJ, making
direct connections at indianapolis with Terre Haute
Trains and indianapolis and Lafayette trains for
Decatur, Springfield, Naples, Quincy, Hannibal and
st. Joseph also with Peru trains for Peru, Ft.Wsyue
and Toledo.
500 .M.-Chicago Express arrives at indianapolis
at 1880 p. M :; Chicago at 740 A. M. Making close
connections at Chicago with all morning trains out
of Chicago. This train connects at indianapolis
with Terre Haute trains for oil points West and
Northwest. ...
Sleepng cars are attached to all the night trains
on this line, and run through to Chicago without
This is exclusively o Western and Northwestern
route and with favorable and reliable arran gements
with all connectipg roads Throughout the entire
West, guarantees unusual care and the amplest 40
E4 Be sure you are in the right ticket ofice before
you purchase your tickets, and ask for tickets via
Lswrenoeburg and Indianapolis.
Fare the same as by any other route. Baggage
'rffh THRouGH TICKETS, good until used, can be OBJ.
taned at the ticket Offices, at spencer House Corner,
northeast corner Broadway and Front; No. l Bur:
net House Corner; ut the Walnut-street House, and
at Depot Office foot Of Mill, on Front street, where
oil necessary information may be had.
Omnibusses run to and from each train, and W
call for passengers at all hotels and all parts of the
w. H. L. NOBLE,
my10 General Ticket Agent.
The penny press. [volume] (Cincinnati [Ohio]) 1859-1860, 1859-10-14
"seven Years."

Winchell sends us the following which
"ain't pretty bad" :"
One day, not long since, the accommo-
dation train from Cleveland to Columbus
had convict on board, who was being
taken by an officer to the penitentiary
located at the last named place. The
prisoner was covered with cloak which
concealed from view the shackles upon
his wrists He sat-slightly bowed
looking very glum, and probably reflect
ing upon the rather narrow prospect
before him. A New England Yankee on
the train had his curiosity excited by
what he inferred to be considerable
weight on the spirits of the convict; so
he approached him with the intent to
elicit, if possible, such information as
would crafty his curiosity. The follow
ing are the questions he propounded, and
the answers thereto:
"Goin' ter Klumbus2"
"Yes," (Grufay)
"Goin' emmy farther%
'Goin' ter stop in KlumbusY
"Yes.".
'Goin' ter see emmy friends there ?"
"No."
"Goin' ter du emmy kind o work there"
"Yes."
"Goin' ter start bsiness on your own
hook?"
"NO."
"What are ye goin' there for"
"Goipg for seven years"
The Yankees curiosity was almost sat
isfed.
The penny press. [volume] (Cincinnati [Ohio]) 1859-1860, 1859-10-14

@The author of "Daily Beauty ,s IN
the last Atlantic, speaking Of matri m1n;o1 no n
shows, says: "Any woman will bteaI: , hsr
neck to see two people for whorn she does s
not care o hair pin, stand up one I,
white, and the other in black, and mnm
bic few words that she knows bv heart
and then take position at the end Of .
room and have society parade up to them
by solemn little corporals with white
favors, and then file Of TO the rear r "r
rations of Perigord pic and champaane% ~ >
The penny press. [volume] (Cincinnati [Ohio]) 1859-1860, 1859-10-14
OCTOBER IA
THE TWO PARTINGs.


We parted once before. You wept
When rose up to 60, you did;
Y0u prayed for me before you slept,
You litte love, you know you did
Aud no grief now is on that brow, m
Which then you said, throbb'd so, you DID;
You loved me better then than now
You cruel thing, you know you did
Do you remember what the sea,
took you out to show you, did!
You made pretty simile- ,,,
You false OF tongue, you know You did
You sighed, "That life were like Its crests
When sunshine breezes blow" you did;
.'TO catch loves light before IL rests
You cold, cold heart, You know youdi
What have done2 You smile no more
On me as months ago you did;
You deem my homage not bore;
You liked 1t then, you know you did.
"How blest," you said, were life with one
Who'd love me- truly" y, you did!
But-you thought was an elder son
You utter fiirt, you know you did
The penny press. [volume] (Cincinnati [Ohio]) 1859-1860, 1859-10-14

BoRRowED.-"Where'd ye get that hat,
Jerry ?' "Borrered il" "Borrered it tY
"Y-a-s BOrrered it of feller asleep in
the Park. Pete Myers borrered his coat
Pat Gafney his boots. borreredhis hat.
De ye think I'd steal2 No! I'd scorn
the action"
The penny press. [volume] (Cincinnati [Ohio]) 1859-1860, 1859-10-14
COMMENCING APRIL II, 1859.
M M % M I ~ ~ Igg ~ ss 8 zga
LITTLE MIAMI AND COLUMBUS
AND XENIA RAILROAD,

Four Trains Daily.
THREE THROUGH EXPRESS TRAINS.
Columbus and Cleveland VIA Columbus, Urestline and
Pittsburgh, via Columbus, Steubenville and Pitts.
burgh, Detroit via Clevela and steamer This Train
stops, between Cincinnati and Columbus, at Love.
land, Deerfield, Morrow, Xenia, Cedarville, South
Charleston, London and West Jefferson.
Second Train-No.2 Express, at S:30A. M, connects
via Columbus, Bellair and Benwood; Wheeling; via
Columbus, Steubenyille and Pittsburg; via Columbus
Orestline and Pittsburg: via Columbus aud Cleyo.
land Detroit, via Cleveland and steamer; White Sui.
phur Station, via Springfield. This Train stops be
tween Cincinnati and Columbus, at Plainville, Mil
ford, Miamiyille Loyeland, Deerfeld, Morrow, Cor.
win, Spring Valley, Xenia and London.
Third odati0n, at 4:i0 P. M, for
Columbus and Springfield.
Fourth Train-Night Express, at 1880 p. NJ; con
meets via Columbus, Bellar and Benwood; Wheeling,
VII. Columbus, Steubenyille and Pittsburg; via Co.
lTmbqs, Yrestline and pittsburg; via Columbus and
Cor @G9rTin, Xenia and London. SLEEPING CARS ON
No. Express, through to Cleveland without change
of cars.
No. 2Express, through to Wheeling without change
The NIGHT EXPRESS rrain leaving Cincinnati
at 1l:30 p. NJ, runs daily, except SATURDAYS The
other Trains run daily, except SUNDAYS.
For all information, and Through Tickets to BOs-
ton, New York, PHILADELPHIA, Baltimore, Washing.
apply at the Offices, Walnut Street House, No. Bur-
net House, south corner OF Broadway and Front
streets, and at the Eastern Depot.
Trains run by Columbus time, which Is seven min
utes faster than Cincinnati tine.
Omnibuses call for passengers by leaving direction
at the Ticket Offices, myl7
The penny press. [volume] (Cincinnati [Ohio]) 1859-1860, 1859-10-14

BarAn Englishman would live twenty
years in a house without knowing his
neighbors; a Frenchman would know all
of them in twenty.four hours. Let the
sociable Frenchman be planted among
the tattoed islanders of the South Seas,
and in two years he would be found tat
toed; put an Englishman in the same
position, and he would be king of the
island in the time.
The penny press. [volume] (Cincinnati [Ohio]) 1859-1860, 1859-10-14

aea- -"Wife, wife, what has become Of
the grapes?'
i suppose, my dear, the hens have
picked them Off" was her moderate
reply.
"Hens-hens-some two legged hens, l
guess" said her husband with some i'm
petuosity, to which she calmly replied,
"My dear, did you ever see any other
sOrtP"
The penny press. [volume] (Cincinnati [Ohio]) 1859-1860, 1859-10-14

r"Have you any fish. in .your. bas.
ketr' asked person of o fisherman who
was the reply; ' WIZ
The penny press. [volume] (Cincinnati [Ohio]) 1859-1860, 1859-10-14

D@r"You are dismissed" said the su-
perintendent, austerely, "for letting your
train come twice into collision" 'FThe
very reason" said the other interrupting
him" why | asked to be restored" sHow
so?' "Why, sir, if l had any doubt
before as to whether Two trains can pass
each other on the same track, I am now
entirely satisfied. | have tried it twice,
sir, and it can't be done, and am not
likely to try it again" He regained his
situation by his jest, and, it is said kept
it afterward by his great prudence"
The penny press. [volume] (Cincinnati [Ohio]) 1859-1860, 1859-10-14

S@- Tommy, my son, what are you
going to do with that club p "Send it
to the editor, of course" "But what are
you going to send it to the editor for2'
cause he says if any body will send
him club he will send them copy of
his paper% The mother came pretty
near fainting, but retained consciousness
enough to ask: "But, Tommy, dear, what
do you suppose he wants of club ?"
"Well, don't know" replied the hopeful
urchin, Sunless it is 10 knock down sub
scribers as don't pay for their paper"