Meigs County telegraph. [volume] (Pomeroy [Ohio]) 1848-1859, 1859-07-26

SENTIMENTAL YoUTH -"My dear girl,
will you share my lot for lifo?'
PRAcrIcAL GIRL-Ilow large IS your lot,
sir?'
EzrThe home organ of Judge Douglas,
the Chicago ''Times,' Of the 25th ult,
says; 1--WE intend, in 1860, to support
the Charleston nominee
IRISH PLENTY--An Irislman being
asked what he came to America for, SAID
'.By the powers; you may bc sue that 1t
WASN'T for wont, for l had l;en'y OF hat at
home.''
Eg"At a hotel table one dav, one boarder
remarked 10 his ne ighbor, "This must bea
very health place for chickens" ''Why,'
asked the other. Because l never see any
dead ones about"
EE""Boy," said an i'll tempered old
fellow to a noisy lad, "what1are you hol-
lerin' for when l go by" "Humph!'
returned the boy, "what are you going by
for when I'm hollerin'?'
EEFanny Fern says, in one of her roll
licking sketches that she stands in the
midst of her household gods with tears in
her eyes aud a brocmstick in her hands,
Alas for poor Mr.. Fern.
Nt~An Irishman who was neal sighted,
about to fight a duel, insisted that he
should stand six PAGES nearer his antago-
mist than the other to him, and that they
were both to fire at the same time.
EFyThe latest case Of absence Of mind
is that of n ship carpenter, who bit OFT the
end ofa copper spike and drove a plug OF
tobacco into The vessels bottom. He did
not discover his mistake till the ship spi.
in his face.
ToM.-"Don't you think versus would
touch her, Charley, a beautiful pome?'
CnARLEY.-"Oh, hang your verses
Tom. If you want to enjoy life, drop,
poetry and the gals altogether and Jine II
fire company.
Rzy"A visitor called upon Fontehel'e,
the celebrated French wit, and finding
him out of humor, inquired "What ails
YOU. Fon.enelle?" What alls me he re-
plied, 81 have a servant who serves me as
badly as if l had twenty"
CAusrIo.-A laly who called on a witty
friend who was not at home, finding the
piano dusty, wrote upon it.sLArTERN. The
next day they met, and the lady sad, 81
called on YOU yesterday" Eyes l 81"
your card on the piano"
ag-"Dan," said a little four year old,
''give me ten cents to buy a monkcy."-
"We've goton monkey in the house, now"
said the elder brother. "'Who is it, Damp"
said the little fellow. You" was the
reply. "Then give me ten cents to buy
the monkey some candy" His brother
'shelled over" Immediately.
ng."But did I tell what a time | had
with my little John?''
'No; what was it?"
"Why, l was showing him the Martyrs
thrown into the lions, and was taking
very solemnly to him. trying to make hIm
feel what a terrible thing it WAS. Ma!
said he all at once, 20, ma! just look at
that poor little lion way behind there-he.
won't get any!"
EE~Rev. -, an eccentric preacher
in Michigan, was holding forth not long
since in Detloit. = young man arose to
90 out, when the preacher SAID: "Ioung
man, if you'd rather go to he'll than hear
me preach, you may GO The sinner
stopped and reflected a moment, and say
ing respectfully, DWELL, L believe l
would" aud went on.
SWINE RAT7GSG.-No kind of stock rails
inc will afford better remuneration to the
farmer for attention and judgment in the
selection Of tie best AMI most suitable
breed for his particular purposes. The
prolific breeding and early maturity OF
swine and their ~freeness from disease,
together with the superiority of their flesh
as an article OF food for the Iaborer, renders
the breeding OF this stock Indispensable
upon a well regulated farm.
FoRG1v1NG A DEBront-There is a story
which has been often told of Daniel Web
ster, but which will bear repetition, how,
after continued provocation, he wrote to
the editor of a newspaper, which referred
to his private affairs, and especially, to his
TO. having his debts. lie said substan-
,ially-"'It is true that l have not always
paid my debts punctually, and that owe
money. One cause ofthis is, that l have
not pressed those who owe me, for pay
ment. As an instance of this, I enclose
vouy fqHer'S note, made 10 me thirty gears
ago, for money lent linn to edacate has
b2ys."
GsF"Hilo, Misther Postmaster and is
there iver a letther here for Dennis
O'Flaherly?"
81 believe there is" said the Postmas-
ter, stepping back and producing the letter.
"And will you be so kind as to rade 1t
10 me, seem ! had the misfortune to he
edicaied 10 rade never a bit?' He then
opeued and read the epistle, which was
from "old country" concerning his rela-
tions there. etc. When he had finished,
Dennis observed:
"And what would We be after akin for
postage on that letther?"
"Fifly cents"
land it's chape enough, yer honor: but
MS | niver think of akin ye to trust me-,