White Cloud Kansas chief. [volume] (White Cloud, Kan.) 1857-1872, 1859-03-17
Loafer's soiiloouy.

Let's see, where am I? This is-coal
I'm laying on. How'd | get here? IRE
fleets. Yes, / mind now. Was COM
imp street-met wheelbarrow-was
drunk-comin' t'other way, the wheel
barrow fell over me, or 1 fell over the
wheelbarrow-and one on us fell into the
cellar-don't mind which now-guess it
must been me. I'm nice young man.
yes l am-tight! tore! shot drunk
Well, / cant help it--'tain't my fault
wonler whose fault It's I? Is it Jones'
fault? No. Is it my wife's fault? Well,
it amt. Is it the wheelbarrow's fault
No. It's Whiskey's fault. Who is
Whiskey? Has he large family? Got
many relations? All poor, reckon. /
think r won't own him any more. I'll
cut his acquaintance; I've had that no.
ton for about ten years, and always ha-
ted to do it. for fear of hurtin' his feel
ings-Pll do it now-I think Liquors
injurin' me; it's spoilin' my temper.
Sometimes / get mad when I'm drunk,
and abnse Bets and the brats-it used to
be Lizzie and the children-that's some
time ago; l can just mind it. When l
come home evenin's, she used to put her
arms around my neck, and kiss me, and
call me dear William. When / come
home now. she takes her pipe ont of her
mouth. and puts her hair out of her eyes,
and looks at me. and says somethin' like
=" Bill, you drunken brute shut the
door after you; we're cold enough havin'
no FIRE, 'thout lettin' the snow blow in
that way" Yes, she's Bets, and Pm
Bill, now; | amt good bill, nuther-
think I'm counterfeit-won't pass-a ia
vern, without goin' in and gittin' drink.
Don't know what Bank Pm on-last
Sunday / was on the river bank, drunk.
l stay pretty late-no. sometimes I'm
out all night-fact is, Pm pretty much
oct all over-out of friends, out of peck
ct, out at the elbows and knees, and out
rageously dirty, so Bets says-but then
she's no judge, for she's never clean her.
self. i wonder why she don't wear good
clothes? May be she hasn't got 'em.
Whose faults that? faint mine-it
must be Whiskey's.
Sometimes I'm iE-I'm intoxicated
now, and in somebody's coal cellar.
There's one good principle I've got-I
won't git in debit never could do it.
There, one of my coat tails is gone-got
( tore of, expect, when fell down here
III have to git new suit soon. A
fellow told me, fother day, I'd make a
good sign for paper mill. Ifhe wasn't
SO big, Id lick him. I've had this shirt
on for nine days, and I'm afraid it won't
come of without tearin'. People ought
to respect me more'n they do, for I'm in
hole-y orders. l amt dandy, though
my clothes is pretty near grease-ian style
| guess | tore this window shutter in my
pants t'other night, when set down on
the wax in Ben Sugg's shop. I'll have
to git it mended up, or I'll catch gold
| amt very stout as it is-though I'm
:ull in the faee--as the boys say, I'm
about as fat as match, and as healthy
as the small pox. My best hat is stand
in guard for window pane that went
out t'other mornin', at the invitation OF
brickbat. It's gittin cold down here
wonder how I'll git ont? amt able
to climb-if 1 had drink, could think
better. Let's see; amt got three cents
wish was. in the tavern, l could
sponge one. When anybody treats, and
says "comc, fellers,'' 1 always think my
names "fellers, and I've got too good
manners TO refuse. Well, l must leave
this, or they arrest me for an attempt
at burglary. ] amt come to that yet.
Anyhow. it was the wheelbarrow done
the harm, not me.