Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1859-09-29
aDit anA 1}amor.


IE HAD HIM TnERE-A traveller once ar
rived at a village inn after hard day. trav-
el, and being very tired, requested room to
sleep in, but the landlord said they were en-
tirely full, and that It was utterly impossible
to accommodate him; that his wife had to
sleep OIL the sofa and himself ON the floor; but
he would see what his wife could do for him.
The good woman on being applied to, said
there was a room which he might occupy,
provided he would agree to the conditions,
viz: to enter the room late in the dark and
leave it early i'll the morning, to prevent sean-
dial, AS the room was occupied by a lady
This he agreed to do. About two o'clock in
the morning an awful noise was heard in the
house, and our friend the traveller was heard
tumbng heels over head down stairs. Tho
landlord, on arriving at the spot, inquired
what the matter was; the traveller calculated
as soon as he was able to speak
"Oh, lord! that woman's dead"
81 know that" replied the landlord; "but
how did you find 1t out?"
~ SAY, Squire, what'll you take for that
ere dog o'your'n!" said Yankee peder to an
old Dutch farmer "what'll yeou take for him?
He amt very good-lookn' dog; but what
was you cal'latin' maybe he'd fetch?"
"Ah!" responded the Dutchman, "dat dog
islnt wort noting mostI he ishn't wort on
to buy 'um."
"Guess tew dollars abeout would get him,
wouldn't? I'll give you that for him." :
"Yaas: he isn't rort dat"
oval, III take him, said the pedlar
"Shtop!" said the Dutchman; "dere's Quo
ting about dat dog CANT sell"
"Oh! take off his collar: don't want that"
suggested the pedler. ----a...,,,- =
"Tan't dat," replied Myhncer; "he's boor
dog, but CANT sell de ,cag Of his tail when
/ comes home"
"IEILo, Sharp said Pop, meeting him
the other day in the street: you hobble, my
boy; what's the matter with your
"Oh, had my feet crushed through tho
carelcssnes ofa conductor, the other day, be-
tween railroad cars-that's all.
"And don't you mean to sue for damages?"
damages; no, mo- have had damages
pairs2'
ala MEw said Mrs. Partington, "here I
have been suffering the bigamies of death for
three mortal weeks. First was seized with
bleeding phrenology in the hampshire of the
brain, which was exceeded by stoppage of
the lett ventilator Of the heart This gave
me an inflammation In the borax and now 1rt
sick with the chloroform morbus. There's no
blessing like that of health, particularly when
you are sick"
YOUNG lady at ball was asked by d
lover of serious poetry whether she had seen
Crabbe's Tales?
"Why, no" she answered, "I did not know
that crabs had tails"
81 beg your pardon, miss, said he, II mean
have you read Crabbe' Tales?"
"And assure you sir, did not know that
red crabs, or any other crabs, had tails"
THE REAsoN.-Mrs. jenkins complained
in the evening that the turkey she had eaten at
Thanksgiving did not set well. Probably"
said jenkins, "it was not hen turkey
He got a glass Of water in his face.
WHAT S the difference 'twixt little Queen Vic,
And the shaggy dogs tail that is moving SO
quick?
The diff renee is this-I say without bragg
The Queen keeps her coach, and the tail keeps
a-waggin.'
A FATHER winding up his watch, said to
his little girl-"Let me wind up your nose''
"No." ssid tho child "a don't want my nose
wound up fer don't want it to run all day
"JoE, what is the cause of that hell-rng-
ing?" inquired Peter. Why" replied joe
with great gravity, "it's my deliberate opinion
that some one has pulled the ropc!"