Dayton daily empire. [volume] (Dayton [Ohio]) 1850-1865, 1859-12-10
First EPistIe OF Sam, 20 the HypO-
critics.
CHAP. 1.


/. In the third year Of the reign Of JameI
Let, one Salmon, was Governor Of the Arabs
aud Henry, (the Wise) was ruler Of the Moors
in the Dominions Of James.
2. And IT came to pass in those days, that
Salmon (whO was surnamed the HypOerte) be,
came suvious Of Hsnry's prosperity
3, Therefore he summoned John the centu'
rian, to appear before him, concerning the
Moors on the borders Of his domains.
4. And when John came, Salmon seated him
self on his throne, and spake unto John, say
ing
S. Verify, verify, say unto you, the Moors
must be stolen, and freed from the bonds Of
Henry, and you shall steal them
6 Wherefore, that you shall keep my secrets,
| swear you by the immAekeral nigger,--so
help you Joshua.
Z. Now, John having taken the oath. he went
straightway 10 Joshua, and told him The things
concerning the poors;
8. And Joshua gave him three hundred
peices of money, and three shekels Of silver.
9 Now, when job the Centurian, (who was
a mighty man Of vslOr,) had his army called
together, he Immediately set out 10 invade the
Moorish dominion.
10. And when Salmon, saw that John had
done as he commanded him, he forthwith sum
mOned all the chief priests, scribes, and byp>
Ocrites, saying;
IL. have ordered John the ceuturiau, to
steal all the Moors Of Henry's Dominion, and
destroy the towns. that may be elevated to the
throne Of James, and utterly destroy his peoN
pie.
i9. But when these things camo to the ears
Of James, he Immediately sent his army to the
assistance Of Henry.
13. And it came to pass that John and his
mighty men of war, were defeated and taken
prisoners.
ID. And when they were brought before Hen.
ry he adiudged John and his followers guilty
Of treason, and cast them into prison.
is. And on the second day of the 18th month,
in the nineteenth century, John was led forth,
by the army Of James, to be hungj
l6. And when John had assembled to the al
tar Of sacrifice, (erected by the high priests
aud scribes Of salmOn's CLAM he hung his head
aud cried
II. salmoni salmoni JOSH JOSH Wen
deli Phillip sans omnes infernali hypocriti,
ct ind rex, dunder und blixeD Rescui, (which
beng interpreted is to say, Wisdom of Salmon
and JOhual sympathy of Phillips and all ye
internal hypOcrites, why in thunder don't you
come to the rescue.
ls. And when John had thus spoken, he was
hung up by the neck, till his spirit left him.
10. And Immediately the vail Of Salmons
hypocricsy was burst 10 sunder, from top to
bottom, and his prospects for the next Presi
dency obscured as dark as erebus.
20. And when Salmon, and his chief priests
and scribes, saw these things, they were ex-
ceeding sorry, and repepted in sackloth and
crept into the ashes.
Therefore, Sam, wrote this epistle to the
end that the blessings Of your political dema,
gogues, may speedily lead you to the altar Of
sacrifice, sanctifed by the blood of John the
Centurian.
%. Hoping that you will sacrifice all feelings
of honesty, and pitch in spontaneously, to steal.
pillage and murder, that your latter end may
assim ulste to the glorious exit Of John the
CentuTian.
%. And may the noble deeds Of your martyrs
thoroughly saturate your moral cSrcasses, and
may unborn millions sing the requiem Of praise
over your political remains, and place your
names in jurtaepositiOn with Judas Of old.
"a. May the blessings of ranting fanatics rest
easy on your innocent martyrs. while you con
tinue in grace to emulate their notorious exams
pie till the cord Of their affections lull you to
rest Aroomeni