Holmes County Republican. [volume] (Millersburg, Holmes County, Ohio) 1856-1865, 1859-09-29
mistellaneolls.
PETER CHANCERY ESQ.,,
HIS FlNEDOLLARS 8.
ouiHg the blessings that may tollo~ the settlement
of the smallest account.

10 pay luis utec Uiii lVunt, ofau ioi ebO
tenth time a half grown boy in dirty
Jacket, to lawyer in his office.
The attorney at length turned round,
and stared the boy full in the face, as if
he had been some newly discovered speci-
men of zoology, gave long whistle, thrust
his inky fingers first into one pocket and
then into the other of his black cloth vest,
and then gave another long whistle, and
completed his stare at the boys face.
"Ho, ha, hum! that bill, eh!" and the
legal young gentlemen extended the tips
of his fingers towards, the well-worn bit
of paper, and daintly opening it, looked
at its contents.
"Hum!-for Gaping and heei-tapping,
SIX shillings-for foxing ten and sixpence,
and other sundries, Ell! So your master
wants me 10 settle this bill, eh?" repeated
the man of briefs.
ayes sir, this is the nineteenth time l
have come for it, and intend to knock off
at twenty, and call it half day."
"You're an impudent boy"
ais always impudent to lawyers, coz l
can't help tits catchin."
"You'ye got your eye teeth cut, see.'
"That's what boss sent me for, instead O
the 'prentices as was gettin' their teeth cut.
cut mine at nine months old, with the
handsaw. Boss says if you don't pay the
bill he'll sue you."
"Sue ME I'm lawyer"
ats no matter for that Lawyer or no
lawyer, boss declares he'll do it-so fork
overm
'.Declares he'll sue mel"
"As true as there's another lawyer in all
Fidelity"
"That would be badi"
s'Wouldn't it!''
"Silenoe, you vagabond I suppose l
must pay this" muttered the attorney to
himself. ats not my plan to pay these
small bills! What is lawyers profession
good for, if be can't get clear of paving
his own bills? He'll sue me! 'Tis just
five dollars! 1t comes hard, and he don't
want the money. What is five dollars to
him; boy could have earned it, in the time
be has been sending him to dun me for
it. So your master will sue me for it if |
don't pay!"
"He says he will do it and charge you
new pair O. shoes for me-"
"Harkee. can't pay to day; and so if
your boss will sue me, just be so kind as
to ask him TO employ me as his attorney"
"Youi"
aYes; I'll issue the writ, have it served.
and then you see, | shall put the cost into
my own pocket, instead of seeing them go
into another lawyers. So you see if have
to pay the bill, III make the costs. Capt.
tai idea"
The boy scratched his head awhile, as if
striving to comprehend this ''capital idea"
and then shook it doubtingly. 81 don't
know about this; il looks tricky. I'll ask
bcss though, if as how you say you won't
pay it NO how without being sued"
"rd rather be sued, if he'll employ me,
boy"
'But who's to pay them costs--the boss :"
The lawyer looked all at once very seri-
ous, and gave another of those long whis-
ties peculiar to him.
"Well, / am sensible man, truly. Ny
anxiety to get the costs of suit, blinded me
to the fact that they were to come out Of
my own pockets, before they could safely
be put into the pocket. Ah, well my boy
I suppose I must pay. Here is alive dol
lar gold piece, is it receipted-it is SO dir
ty and greasy l can't see!"
sit was nice and clean when boss gin il
TO me, and the writing shined shined like
knapps blackin'-it is torn SO dunnin' SC
much"
"Well, here's your money" said the man
of law, taking solitary five dollar piece
from his watch fob; snow tell your master,
Mr.. Last, that if he has any other accounts
he wants sued, I'll attend to them will
the greatest pleasure"
"Thank'ee sir, answered the boy. pock
citing his FIVE, abut you is the only rep'lal
dunnin' customer boss has, and now you'v
paid up, he han't none but cash folks
Good day to YOU"
"Now there goes five dollars. that vii
do that fellow Last no good. l am il
want of it, but he is not. 1t is five do
lars thrown away. It wouldn't have lei
my pocket, but that was sure that bis pa
tience was worn out, and costs would com
of it, like to take costs, but l don