Kenosha tribune & telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1856-1859, 1859-03-03
ITEM g.

agara forever" said romantic young
girl to her less romantic companion.
ooh no, / should not like to have a
cataract always in my eye"
Miss Brown, l have been to learn
how to tell fortunes" said a young man
to brisk brunette. "Just give me
your hand, if you please"
La, Mr.. White, how sudden you
are Well, go ask pa"
e5y@ Lord Campbell says it is law in
England that a jury who cannot agree,
may be locked up during the session of
court, and then carried in cart to the
bordert ef the next county, and there
shot into ditch"
B4y- To make superior molasses candy
take two cups Of molasses, one of sugar,
one table spoonful of vinegar, piece of
butter the size of a walnut. Boil briSkly
and constantly twenty minutes, stirring
all the time; when cooled enough to
pull do it quickly, and it will come white
rapidly.
A WISE CONcLUsIoN.-"Thc conclu-
sion at which | have arrived, after years
of observation and experience, said the
late John McDonough, of New-Orleans,
sis, that without temperance there is no
health without virtue, no order; with
out religion, no happiness; and that the
sum of our being is, to live wisely, So
berly, and righteously."
A Tyre OF WoE.-A poor editor out
somewhere, falling into the hands of
the Philistines, breaks forth in the fol-
lowing gizard moving appeal
Sheriff spare that press
Touch not single type
Don't put me in distress,
To stick to me through life,
IT'S all in all to me-
If lost, what shall do
Then why not let it be
Oh, Sheriff, boo! hoo! hoo
A Gradson Of Robert Burns, bearing
the same name of his illustrious grand
father, is now living in the town Of
Dumfries, where the poet died. He earns
his scanty subsistence by teaching few
children. He is very poor, and though
the town of Dumfries celebrated the
Centenary Anniversary of the poet
with dinners and procession, this neg
lected relative and descendant Of him
whom all delighted to homer, was not
invited to join in any of the festivities.
There are few countries which, if
we'll cultivated, would not support
double the number Of their inhabitants,
and yet fewer where one-third of the
people are not extremely stinted even
in the necessaries of life. | send out
twenty barrels of corn, which would
maintain family in bread for year,
and | bring back in return barrel of
wine, which half a dozen good fellows
would drink in less than a month, at
the expense Of their health and reason.
Dean Ssoitt'
INTENSITY OF THE Cold IN SPIrsBER-
GEN.-No description can give an ade-
quate idea OF the intense rigor Of the six
months winter in that part of the world
Stones crack with the voice of thunder;
i'll q crowded hut the breath of it's oc.
cupants will fall in flakes of snow {;
wine and spirits turn to ice; the snow
burns like caustio; if iron touches the
flesh, it brings the flesh away with it ::
the soles of your stockings may be burnt
from your feet before you feel the slight
est warmth from the fire; linen taken
out Of boiling water instantly stiffens to
the consistency of a wooden board, and
heated stones will not prevent the sheets
of the bed from freezing.
CRINoLINR VS.. UMBRELLAs.-A letter
from Africa relates that while the writer
and another lady were enjoying a walk
near their new home, they became con-
scious that their movements were watch
ed by a native, who, wherever they
went, followed them, scrutinizing their
every motion, but always at proper
distance, and with the most respectful
silence. An Interpretation was after
wards arrived at, when they learned
that the native had reported abroad
how he had followed the strange ladies,
and was surprised that they should
wear their umbrellas under their
clothes"
A'SUBMIsSIvR AND PATENT WOMAN.
Mr.. Peabody one day came in from :
walk, His wife said to hint have
been thinking of out situation, and have
determinedto be submissive and patient.
'Ah ! said he, that is good resolution
let US see what we have got to submit
to. l will make list Of our trials
First, we have home-we will submit
to that. Second, we have the comforts
of hfe--we will submit to that. Third
ly, we have each other. Fourthly, we
have multitude of friends. Filthy
we have God to take care of u.s. 'Ah!
said she, pray stop-I will say no more
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