The Abbeville banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1847-1869, 1859-09-08
WIT AND HUMOR.

harness is kept is indeed the bride
chamber
A sharp utchin deridcd the dignity Of
the sun, because he is only da, laborer.
a humorist who always had reserve Of
jokes, was supposed to have .fun-dcd his
wit.
The man who was hcmmcd in by
crowd has been troubled with a stitch in
his side ever since.
a sprinkler is always an industrious
man, but some men in II hay-field are
mower-industrious.
1t has been said that to make home hap
py, the husband must be somewhat deaf
and the wife somewhat blind.
The statute legalizing matrimony at
certain aye, is, properly speaking, mari
time law.
The man who planted himself OH
his good intentions has not vet sDrout.
ed
Hoop skirts are now denomna,ed fash.
ionable circles
A young man who keeps a collection
of ladies' curls and locks of hair, is
open to the charge Of having many miss.
tresscs
Many politicians boast that they can't
be bought, when they are SO worthless that
they can't be sold.
Mrs. Partington insists that to be struck
by lightning is shocking. Our insane
reporter thinks that gathering sheaves of
grain together in harvest field is more
shocking.
A sailor who has recently returned from
Newfoundland, says that the fog is so thick
that lie used to drive nail in it to hanp his
hat on.
John, did Mrs. Green ge, the medicine
ordered = Il guess so,' replied John,
for I saw Grape on the door the mex, morn
ing
Ma, didn't the minister say, last Sun.
day, that sparks flew upward = Yes, dear
how came you to thiuk of itr because
yesterday l saw cousin Sally's spark stag
ger'"g down the street, and fall down
ward
An exchange says Congress represents
some Of tho wisdom and all Of the folIy
OF the natien,' and it might have added,
a good deal of the rascality.
I am certain, wife, that + am right
and that you are wrong. I'll bet my
ears on it,. Indeed, husband, you
shouldn't carry betting to such extreme
lengths
a clergyman expresses the opinion that
clergyinen Should be allowed to use hair
dye, until our churches make sufficient
advances in godincss to be willing to ,ol-
crate gray hairs in PASTOR
1t has been inferred that Dryden wasn't
opposed to sherry coLbers from a remark
lie once made Straws may he made the
instruments Of happiness
'The law said Judge Ashurst in Il
charge, is open to all men, to the poor
ia well as the rich.' And so is the Lon
don Tavern, added Home Tooke, who was
present.
A Tennessee girl recently married a
stranger, alleging that she should have
plenty of time to become acquainted with
him afterwards.
Come, don't be proud said couple
of silly young roysterers to two gentlemen;
sit down and make yourselves our equals
We should have to blow our brains out to
do that replied one Of them.
Patrick Machnagan, with wheelbarrow,
ran race with LOCOMOTIVES; as the latter
wen: ont of sight, Mac observed, 'Aff wid
ye, yc roarin' blaggard. or Iii be after run.
min into yees!
Two brothers in Maine, by the name Of
Rich, have been lately married to two sis.
ters by the name Of wigs, and have re-
moved to Illinois. Thus riches have taken
to themselves wings
Now, young man, as you are settled in
town. said an uncle, would advise you
to take wife,
'Wt all nv heat, sir: whose wife shall