Meigs County telegraph. [volume] (Pomeroy [Ohio]) 1848-1859, 1859-07-05
Tit-@ its.

Tit-8its.
EN-"I know every rock on the coast
cried an IRISH pilot, when a ship. bumped,
land that's one Of Lhem?'
RE-It has been said doctors may well
have An especial ho, ror of the sea, because
tn ey are more liable than others to see
sickness.
Ey-Mr. John Jack, Il Kentucky editor,
says that one day his gal slapped. hlm III
the face, averring, by way OF apology
that she was fond of slarjacks,
G9-A neighboring editor says he lately
met with one Of his jokes thirty years old.
We suspect he has met with a good many
of them much older than himself.
Ey-.'I am afraid, dear wife, that, while
i am gone, absence will conquer love-
ooh. never fear, dear husband, the longer
YOU stay awaT the better | slai! like you"
Rzy-..I am not afraid of n barrel Of
cider. sir" 81 presume not; | guess the
barrel of cider would run at your APP
proach."
Ry"A Virginia paper says that Slckles
ought to have been convicted, not so much
for the murder of Key, as in consequence
OF the public necessity which exists that a
member of Congress should be hung!
Ne-"The only liberty cap" says q
clever and witty author, lis a night cap.
I'm it men visit one-third of their lives,
the land of sleep, the only land where they
are always free and equal
RE-"I curse the hour when we mar
Iied:'' exclaimed an enraged husband to
his better half, to which she mildly re-
piled, Don't, my dear, for that was the
only happy one VIC have Scent
GE-"This world is all Affecting show"
said a priest to II culprit on the gali1ws.
Yes" was the prompt reply; but if
you have no objections, I'd rather see the
show a little longer!"
E~Swift wrote many sharp ep~igrams,
of which the following is a specimen!
Sir, I admit your grheral rule,
p That Gyers E%T' , rs a s"%rs to show it.
That ever! fool is no; II poet.
Eg~We lately heard a vulgar politician
boast upon the stump that he and Daniel
Webster once staid over night at the same
Dublic house. 1t must have been a house
of "eeutertainmeet for man aud beast"
81 IL fepehlJ SdIH IL itSISOu VI HuCo
tionable veracity, "Lhat | am an honest
man" "Yes-and how often will YOU
have 10 repeat it before you believe it your
SELF"
EE~Thele was never a more beautiful
reply than tina of agooI man in affection,
who was asked how he bore his sorrows St
we'll: alt lightens the stroke to draw neal
to Him who handles the rod.
Gy~"Young man." said a minister tc
a youth of ms acquaintance, "do yo1
know what relations you sustain IN th'
world?" Yes, sir, TWO cousins AID
grandmother, but ] don't intend to sustain
them much longer"
G4g-"You would be very pretty in
deed" said a g ntleman patronizinyIv Il
IL young lady, ''if your eyes were only
small. sir, but such pe6Tte as you do.
I'll Mcm."
EWAn Englishman's idea of Fraze
River: My l."pinion is, the mining sea
son is too bloody short-the blarsted winte
is too long, and in summer the liver Is to-
'iph, yer know; so wat can a man eXpec
to do ere, anyhow"
Ef5"At an assembly of friends, a lad
was apologised to for by an acquaintance
who said she was detained by a little Incl
dent. "Ah, yes!' exclaimed Mrs. Clat
terbell, "a beautiful little ncldent it wa
too-weighs just nine pounds and a half.
RE-"How old are you?" said a j1dg
to a German arraigned before him ''
am dirty "And how old is your wife?'
mime wife is dirty taoo." Then, sill
you are a very filthy couple, and l wish t
have nothing further to do with either
you"
Ag-The Boston Sunday Disp0tche
SAYS that it is rumored The Boston Ii
dies are going to raise the moustache."
We believe they can do it without diff
Guilty, for every handsome woman ca
hen she pleases, have a moustache to h
lips.
EgDr. j. X. Chooert, Of New Yor
the tire-king, who used TO sit i'll hot ove1
with legs Of mutton till the after we
roasted, has just received from the Fren'
Emperor The st. Helena Medal for havir
served twenty-six years III Napoleon
Grand Army. No doubt it was IN til
service he learned to stand fire.
''ONr OF THEM TnINGs.'-The Cinci
natl "Commercial' states that IA hardwa
house in that city recently received t
following emphatic order:
-, S~angamon, Co., ILL.,, March
~ Coz:
SIRs: Send us one of them id thin
that make such a III of a noise about
- L@uA /.