The national era. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1847-1860, 1859-01-20


sagacity in discovering it. 1t costs so much
to support a wife-that is the reason why the
young men don't marry. They feel that they
must wait till their income is enough 10 main
tain a wife in the style to which she has been
accustomed. Girls think they must begin
where their mothers lie we off" &c, The mother,
too receives her share of the blame, and gen
orally the lions share; for it somehow happens,
i'll almost all these jeremiads, that the father
comes of scot-free. Then statistics are duly
produced to show the quantity Of silks, laSes,
velvets, and feathers yearly imported, and the
whole ends with dismal groan over the de-
generacy of the nineteenth century, and a pro-
longed howl for the melancholy prospects of
the twentieth, in case there should be any TWEEN
tieth.
Now, this is a grand way Of treating the sub
ject, is it not? Are we not placed in digni-
fed position? They come to US with silk in
one hand, and husband in the other" which
will you choose? You can't have both. Come,
now, there's a dear, wear calico, and it shall
have nice little husband, so it Shall" Girls,
don't do it There are thousands more women
than men in New England, and the chances
are that you lose both husband and dress. Get
the husband if you can, but at any ratio make
sure OF the silk. 1t is your duty to dress As
well and look as pretty as you can, Consistent.
- WIN NOul OtuSI OuiieS. L gu are 10 s1h guided
by what is right not by what rsnble Of men
may like. And, above all thinps, don't re.
trench, because men threaten not to marry YOU
unless you do. Just let them try it, and see
who will hold out tho longest.
But, as matter of fact, the statement -
talse-at least to this extent, that womer are
II anything, less extravagant than mon They
dress up, not down, to their fathers. and broth
ers, and husbands wishOs. | do not believe
there IS one woman in five hundred in New
England, who = frankly informed of the sources
ana ap.ount of her husbands income, would
Tot cheerfully and handsomely bring her ex
penses within it. Womea do undoubtedly
spend great deal of money but if their ia.
theirs or husbands give it to them to spena,
why should they be blamed? How many fail,
ures, 1 beg to know, have been laid on the
shoulders of women, the last two years But
when the numbers are counted up and handed
IN, will the statistician be so good as to tell US
IN how many cases the husband had been in
the habit OF making his wife conversant witL
the state of his atairs-how many times Che
wife knew or had any means of knowing, what
the amount of her expenses for the year ought
to be.
There are very few men who are capable of
telling whether woman is eXtravagant or not
1t Is very dangerous to attempt to Judge the
NO"S
the most snowy things that cost the most, nor
the most simple that cost the least 1t is not
the most elegantly, not even the most richly
dressed woman, who runs up the highest bill.
L know women who tread royalty in satin and
velvet, who entertain magnihcently, and give
generously who yet can economically, and do
merrily, spend hour after hour in making mos
quito bars, covering ottomans, putting locks ON
doors, upholstering old chaiIs quite as weel
as new, mending sewing machines, and by
thousands OF ingenious and happy devices sa-
wing money from animal wants, TO spend it in
generous, intellectual, and social pleasures. If
your lady-love's dress does not offend your
taste, my hue fellow, never trouble Yourself
about Its price for the founces which make
you so uneasy are seven years old, and redeem
ed from dress which her mother cast off when
she went into mourning-the velvet basque,
which you must allow TO De very becoming, is
the joint product of two WORKOUT cloaks of her
sisters-the bonnet was made by herself from a
lace yea! that has been in the family for years,
and all the while she was pTicking her soft flu
gers over 1t, she smiled unconsciously at the
thought of pleasing your eyes and this is all
the thanks she gets for it, lnscGsate Look a.
her face. is it blank? 10 her conversation.
Is II stale, Hat aud unprottable! Find OK
the Stuit OF watch she Is made-the texture Of
her soui, Ii tAcr9 Is Jewel, wear it Oh your
brow and IN your heart though the casket be
gold. II there is a treasure, make it yours,
though the vessel be rarest Sevres China. Ii
she does not love you enough to prefer poverty
with you to wealth without YOU, her love is little
worth. The faux is not that her purse is full,
but that her heart is empty. You insult not
womauhood merely, but human nature, by sup.
posing that the incidents Of life arc moIc valu-
able than life itself. You discover innate
n1p IN hot r. I
flUenccd by dollars and cents. What kind of
affection, pray, Is that which counts the cost,
and cooly compares chances? If you are 3
true man and she Is a true woman, you will 80
eniold her life, so I'll her heart and her eyes,
thai she will have no power to perceive any
lack. lfyou are not true, you have 10 right 10
marry her, or any one else. 3 egonel
But" means our editor, "a man Wig Ends
he has married wardrobe and a piano. and
not living, loving woman, is mos. egregiousy
taken in Of course he is, and deserves to be.
Why dld he marry the wardrobe? Whose
fault is it? The world was all before him.
What right has any man to marry a woman be-
fore he knows whether she is wardrobe or
not-where her derss ends and her soul begins
Tie has every opportunity for knowing; and if
he does not choose to take the trouble, let him
not complain. He at least has no cause 10 cry
foul play. The game was not even, inasmuch
as his superiority gave him the advantage and
If man finds himself check-mated by ward
robe, more shame to him, but don't let him
come whimpering TO us for pity and sympathy.
for one feel very much as did the old woman
Witnessing, with arms akimbo, the conflict be.
tween her husband and bear, GO it. hus-
band Go it, bear Idon't care achich beats :"
90, if parents in educating their daughters,
would but insist upon their having a reasonable
Of xUba ic 10 no q h. a.
upon smattering of French, and little
drumming upon the piano, there would be-
such revolution" continues our dsconsolate
author. II should like first privately to put the
question, whether any man ever wrote upon
any subject connected with wOman~without be
ing sure, somewhere In the course Of his article
TO trot out that unfagging piano. l have
heard many musical performances in my davs
but | never was so tired of hearing any girl
thrum upon rosewood instrument, as | am
of hearing men thrum on this imaginary one
But what do you mean, you takers and writers,
in saying that girls should be educated to be
wives and mothers? Is not wife woman2
Is there any special course of instruction to be
followed? Is not that education the best which
most fully develops every power-moral, mental,
and physical? Womanhood is greater than
wifehood. 1t comprehends and embraces it.
The best woman will make the best Wife If
the mind of woman is dwarfed, and her facul-
ties weakened by disuse, she will be an inefi-
cient wife, because she is an inefficient woman.
If, on the other hand her mind is trained, her
judgment cultivated, her powers developed, she
will be adequate to any emergency as woman
or wife. Soul is stronger than circumstance
If girl is a fool in silks, will she be any the
less fool in calico? Does feeble, frivolous
nature grow strong and selfreliant, by being