Holmes County Republican. [volume] (Millersburg, Holmes County, Ohio) 1856-1865, 1859-10-06
From Dasent's Tales from the Morse.
The Husband Who Was 10
Mind the House.

| Tne HuSDan0 VINO was TO
Mind the House.
Once upon time there was man so
suEiy and cross, he never thought his wife
did any thing right in the house. So one
evening, IN hay-making time, he came
home scolding and swearing, and showing,
his teeth and making a dust.
"Dear love, don't be so angry; there's a
good man" said his goody, ato morrow
let's change our work. I'll go out with
the mowers and NOW and you shall mind
the house at home.
-Yesl the husband thought that would
do very well. He was quite willing.
So, early next morning, his goody took
a scythe over her neck and went out into
the hay field with the mowers and began
to NOW! but the man was to mind the
house, and do the work at home.
First of all, be wanted to churn the but
ter; but when he had churned while he
got thirsty, and went down to the cellar
to tap barrel of ale. So Just when he
bad knocked the bung and was putting the
tap into the cask, he heard overhead the
pig come into the kitchen. Then off he
ran up the cellar steps with the tap ia his
hand, as fast as he could, to look after the
pig lest it should upset the churn; but
when he got up, aud saw the pig had al
ready knocked the churn over, and stood
there, roofing and grunting amongst the
cream, which was running all over the floor.
he was so wild with rage that he forgot the
ale barrel, and ran at the pig as hard as he.
could. He caught il, just as it ran out of
doors, and gave it such kick that piggy
lay for dead on the spot. Then all at
once he remembered be had the tap in his
hand, but when got down to the cellar every
drop of ale had run out oftbe cask.
Then be went to the dairy and found
enough cream left to fill the churn again,
and so he began to churn, for butter they
must have at dinner. When be had churre
ed bit, he remembered that their milk
ing COW was still shut up in the byre, and
hadn't bit to eat or drop to drink all
the morning, though the sun was high
Then all at once he thought twas too far
to take her down to the meadow, so he'd
Just get her on the house top-for the
house, you must know, was thatched with
sods, and find crop of grass was growing
there. Now their house lay close up
against a steep down, and he thought if
he had laid plank across to the thatch at
the back he'd easily get the COW up.
But still he couldn't leave the churn, for
there was his little babe crawling about on
the floor, and "if leave it," he thought,
"ihe child is sure to upset it. So he took
the churn on his back and went out
with it; but then he thought he'd better
first water the COW before he turned her
out on the thatch; so be took up bucket
to draw water out Of the well; but as he
stopped down at the wells brink, all the
cream ran out of the churn over bis should
ers, and so down into the WELL
Now it was near dinner-time, and hs
hadn't even got the butter yet; so he
thought he'd best boil the porridge, and
filed the pot with water and hung it over
the fire. When be had done that he
thought the COW might perhaps fall off the
thatch and break her legs or neck. So he
got up on the house to tie her up. One
end Of the rope be made fast to the cows
neck, and the other he slipped down the
chimney and tied around his own thigh,
and he had TO make haste, for the water
now began to boil in the pot and he had
still to grind the oatmeal
So he began to grind away, but while he
was hard at it, down fell the cow off the
house-top after all, and as she fell, she drag
yed the man up the chimney by the rope
There be stuck fast; and as for the COW,
she hung half way down the wall, swing
ing between heaven and earth, for she
could neither get down nor up.
And now the goody had waited seven
engths and seven breadths for her husband
10 come and call her home to dinner, but
never a call they had. At last, she
hought she'd waited long enough, and
vent home. But when she got there she
aw the COW hanging in such an ugly place,
he ran up and cut the rope in two with
Ter scythe. But as she did this down
anne her husband out of the chimney; and
o when his old dame came inside the
itchen, there she found him standing on
is head in the porridge pot