Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1859-07-15
FACT, FUN AND FANCY.

it is death TO stop cannon ball.
Ey- Scandal, like the Nile, is fed by
innumerable streams but it is extremely
difficult 70 trace it to its source
G-y- DR.. Young says that man and
wife are soul and body-often at variance,
and yet 10th to part.
E,2,- Justice and mercy are the bass
aud treble strings of the great Tyre of
heaven, which makes all the harmonies
and symphonies of the universe
Es JEFF, why am you like the cedar?"
Il guys it up, Sam ! cant tell you"
case you stay green both summer and
winter"
Egr There are truths which some men
despise, because they have not examined
them, and which they will not examine,
because they despise them.
EE If women were jurors, as some
Of them claim they ought to be, what
chance would ugly fellows have when in
dicted?
RE- A Yankee who recently returned
from New Foundland, says that the fog
is so thick there that he used to drive a
nail in it to hang his hat on.
EE- Though lost to sight, to men,
DRY DEAR" az the maiden said to her lover
when his face was buried in beard and
whiskers
ES- An emigrant to Missouri from
New Hampshire writes that the people die
so fast there that every man has his thirC
wife, and every woman is a widow.
E3- During steamboat trip down the
Ohio, the berths became so scarce tha
a tall Vermont Yankee let his at two
dollars per night, and slept in it by day
Al FELbow FnnLINo.-An exchange
says that the most dignihed, glorious and
lovely work of nature is woman the
next, man; and thirdly, the Berkshire
pigi
ES- "Why, George, what are you
hoeing in the garden for at this time
o'nightf" "Well, was arful dry, moth
er, and don't the Bible say 'Ho, every
one that thirsteth?'"
RE "Come, doctor, it's ten o'clock ;
/ think we had better be going, for it's
time honest folks was at home" "Well,
yes" was the reply, II must be off, but
you needn't go on that account"
ES- r am certain, wife, that I am
right and that you are wrong; I'll bet
my ears on it" Indeed, husband, you
shouldn't carry betting to such ertrense
lengths"
1 Temptation is the half way house
on the road to ruin. and the toll-gate is
only passable by the forfeiture of a very
heavy fine, namely, our characters, and
our constitution
ESr "My daughter has been ruined
by heartless scoundrel p said doting
father to his neighbor. "Oh" replied
his friend, "that is nothing to my trou-
bles-my daughter has married Know
Nothing /"
GE- A modest young lady, desiring a
leg Of chicken at the table, said she would
take THAT part that ought to be dressed
inpantalets." A gentleman opposite i'm
mediately called for THAT part which usu-
ally wears the hustle"
iH Miss agnes Jane is fond of GRIN
oline, and took severe cold during the
late severe frost. "My dear" said her
mother q am afraid you are going into
decline. fsBloss you, no. said the
girl, "itis nothing but the hopping cough"
EFF The Grant county, Michigan Her.
aid, in speaking Of recent accident by
lightning, says:
"The family were sitting around the
table at the time, and were terrifcally
shocked, believing themselves dead for
some time p
f9- 1t is generally observed that per-
sons of forty years, especially young la
dies of that age, are forgetful Of those
with whom they were acquainted in child
hood. This remarkable dimness of Wis
ion has been. appropriately styled 'the
darkness Of the middle ages"
Ry- Mr.. Snub perceived that the
milk that he was pouring in his coffee
cup was mono Of the richest. On this
he said to his hostess: Haven't YOU
any milk that is more cheerful than this?'
what do you.mean by that n "Why.
thus milk seems overpowcred by the
Uues."
FAMILIAR DEFINTTroNs.-"F First class
in natural philosophy, stand up. What's
attractionY" please sir, I know. The
look that bluo-eyed gal gives to her
lover" Right. sir Now tell me what
inertia is Inertia, sir, is a,iesirc to
remain where you area feeling that
piece Of calico experiences when leaning
against colored velvet vest" Right
again, sir, Call the next class, do you
hear.