The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1859-12-07
sBJo, 81.
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HACKED OUT PICKED UP BY THE sUBsonIBER'

"""0'0i "tlleS Ut dcIs Dy SyS-
TEN, may stand a chance of being uni
formly wrong.
ords, at the touch of the poet,
blossom into poems
** The frsbswallow- tailed coat that
old SoarSy got, so aispleased him tn at.
he starched the tails and used it for a.
boot jack.
* Malloney read in paper, "Give
your children fresh air." $50 sayI.
bedad-be rayson av which | don't
fill me broken windys Wild ould hats and
coats"
* He who would abandon a pro-
ject or be swayed from an honest pur-
pose by the jeers and frowBs of others
is not worthy of a position in the So
ciety of men.
** The poems of Hood are the songs
of tenderness and sadness; but the SOL
emn grandeur of Mihon's verse is like
the melody of countless organs.
X About the LATEST man we know
Of resides at our county seat. When
he has occasion to weed his garden, he
invariably takes rocking chair with
him, and setting it down where weeds
grow thickest, he puts the vehicle"
in motion. When it goes forward he
grabs weed and holds on for dear
life, leaving the reaction 10 up root it..
This man resides at our county seat.
at present, but next week will be found,
according to the Phgnlr, wedding his
garden at Phenixville, Pa
TX Numerous facts Indicate that
the State of New Jersey is settling
down beneath the sea at the rate of
about foot in 100 years.
~ Our functionaries at Washing
ton have been busily engaged, from the
time they went there, in cleaning out
the Treasury. Perhaps they have mis-
it for the Augean stable they talk so
much about.
**The Main Advertiser it thinks
the editor of the Eastern Democrat, ga
chap who will fill the blk" We un-
derstand he fills his oa0n biH as often
as he gets chance.
~ 1t is always best for a young man
to get married if he can practice virtue
and support wife, Wediock is lifa's
sheet-anchor.
* He, who depends upon his jew
elry or dress for admiration, must know
himself to be unworthy of it.
Xxx The truth of the old maxim, i" it
is one thing to know how to give and
another to know how to keep is strik-
ingly illustrated in the mission to Eng
land. Buchanan doesn't know how to
give it, but Dallas knows how to keep
it.
* We once heard an Englishman
give his hostler orders as follows -
Enry, take the arness hoff the orse,
slip the alter over his cad, hand give
i'm some ay hand some hoats."
Xxx An illiterate person once sent
note to a waggish friend, requesting
the loan of his moose paper, and recei-
we'd in return his marriage certificate.
* Mr.. Lowe on being asked by a
countrymad what he was getting up
his aerial ship for, replied, "Only for
flyer.
Xxx The Sunday atlas, in a fit of
revolutionary enthusiasm, says !" Hur-
rah for the girls of'76." Thunderi"
cries Jersey paper, that's too darDed
old. No, no; hurrah for the girls of
17.n
Xxx How came such greasy mess
in the oven 2" said fdgety spinstee
to her maid of all work
Why" replied the girl, the can
dies fell into some water, and l put
them 10 the oven to dry"
** If women are found guilty of
the highest crimes, it might be diff
cult to determine which would be the
severer punishment-to hang them or
sentence them to Imprisonment for life,
with nobody to talk to.
* 1t is said that Brigham Young,
either for economy's sake, or some
thing else's sake, has reduced his es-
Establishment. All, Brigham, go it
while you're Young.
* Will you, as you promised, pay
my bill sigh ? Certainly, but l shall
take the liberty of shutting my eyes
when you present it.
** Old Br, wn. instead of exc
cutting the mission he believed himself
sent to perform, was executed himself
on Friday last.
TX Prentice suggests if the Next
cans want to learn the secret of stable
government, perhaps they had better
send for Mr.. Rarey.
Xxx A Locofoco editor in the interi-
or of Kentucky, says that people can
take his paper cheaper than any other.
If they take it for nothing, they are
basely swindled
* Very select company. We have
frequently heard the advantages of
keeping pig spoken Of, but the slang