The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1859-12-07
v 4 r I E T I 4 S.

. b 4
otherwise, has been served some very
acute tricks. Amongathe best, we have
heard of apoor old cobbler who made al
league with him, andafter ENJOYING every.E
earthly blessing, he was waited upon at.l
the end Of his term by his birthstone ma
iesty, who demanded his SOUL. t.e
The cobbler took a sharp knife, and rip.
ping off the sole Of his shoe, threw it at
the feet Of his illustrious guest.
I" What does this mean ~ cried the
latter. ID. s
Look at the contract = was the reply
of theicobbler.
I Satan examined the contract, and found
that the word was spelt "sole," which only
entitled himto the piece Of leather. He
turned on his heel and went off scratch
ing his head and lie, has been called
"Old Scratch" ever since. ah
An old gentleman Of eighty-four having
taken to the altar young damsel Of
about sixteen, the Clergyman said to him,
The font is at the other end the church"
'iWhat do want with the fonts?". said
the old gentleman. II beg your PARDON
said the clerical wit, Il thought you had
brought the child to be christencd.o /
It is saidsor a crafty Israelite, who de-
serted tile Hebrew faith without embrace
ing that Of the Christians, and yet en-
deavored TO make both parties subservient
to his owlnsclfish views, that he resem-
|bled the blank leaf between the Old and
New Testament, belonging to neither and
making a cover Of boths4 st,..4 oeig =. !,
III Illustration Of a certain clergyman's
liberal style Of invitation to the commune.
ion, the anecdote is,quoted Of an English
Judge, who, on being refused tile cup,
because he was not a member Of a par
ticular church, quietly remarked: II beg
your pardon, thought this was the Lords
table. / have nothing more to say, if it
is private supper Of your own! Z" M.
Anew drink has been invented, which
is thus described by a contemporary: '
It is made Of diluted alcohol, nitric acid,
'boot-legs and tobacco, ard will upset an
individual at aadistancesof four hundred
yards from the demJohnI Containing it.
u "What will You have?" asked sheriff
of culprit whom he was aboutto hang.
3 Not a drop" was the quaint reply iH
Holmes, after telling that a dog was
shot for biting . womal's leg, said It was
q pity to shoot, Q dog withsach fine taste.
a lady in a neighborins, city, DESTROYS
Fof ascertaining when her husband would
return home, sent lin q message making.
| the inquiry,1to which he responded that
important business detained,him, and that
die could not leave for some days. ,ssaAs
f The lady. immediately replied BY send
ing him another despatch III the following
,,.ss .....s CAT HoME, Aug. -, 1859.
| "To F. G. P.--Despatch received Deuterono-
7 my xxiv.5. tsigned, 49 ss1fe Psa's9'3 KATE"
The gentleman to whom the despatch
was addressed, upon referring to the pas
sage in the Scriptures alluded to, OBJ
tanned tile following lengthy and sugges-
tive epistle-: fH ~
)" When man hath taken new wife, he shall
not go out to war neither shall he be charged with
any business but he shall be free at home Que
year, and shall cheer up his wife which he hath
taken"
The following, to the same effect, is not
bad in its way: ,s5., !, =. -
"A person in a distant city, having COM
mitted some offence against the laws, ran
away, and was DESTROYS of ascertaining il
Iit would be prudent for him to return.
He therefore telegraphed in the following
laconic style. - i. ...s.....z
80, NEW York, July 4th, 1859.
! To B. G. Nj, Philadelphia.
Is everything O x? DIN.
To which be obtained the following briel
reply: s...
PuILADELpHIA, July 4th, 1889.
To D. T. NJ g., New York.
! Proverbs, Chap. xvii, u, ER. en-.
I Uponreference to the passage indicated
| the inquiring individual obtained the fol
lowing valuable advice, which, it is to he
presumed, he followed: 81. M. 81 ,ls6
"a prudent man foreseeth the evil, and hidetf
] himself but the simple PASS on, and N are pun
ished."
One more !:
Some years ago there was a joke pass
ing around upou the different telegraph
lines, which was played off Upon q goot
many unsuspecting individuals, in tie fol
| lowing manner: