Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1859-01-06

nA Terrible pressure in the money
market" as the mouse said when the
keg of specie rolled over him.
nA- "This is hard fortune r. as IL Q
7 se - EliiI. ill.
B@ Why is love like ducks leg?
Because it is often hid in the breast.
u sg Were it not for the tears that fill
our eyos, what an ocean would gil our
breasts!
bBr "I've got some urgent business
on hand as the fox said when the dogs
were alter him.
D0 What kind of braces do ladies
prefer? Embraces.
B9 Why is piece of sterile ground
like a certain toilet article? Because
its bare soil (bear's oil)
R@ "Dont rob yourself" as the far
mer said to the lawyer, when he called
him hard names.
s@ Remember the poor ~ Oh yes,
we all remember them, and-'tdon't do
anything else.''
na- Say nothing about yourself-ei-
ther good, bad or Indifferent; nothing
good, for that is vanity; nothing bad,
for that is affectation; nothing indiffer-
ent, for that is silly.
B9 A writer in the Spirit of the
Times, calls the ceremony of kissing
each other, as is performed by young
ladies, "a dreadful waste of the rato ma
tcridL
nA- A woman has been arrested in
NewsAlbany for stealing old iron; she
had fourteen pounds of it secreted in
her bosom. Guess her offence weighed
heavily upon her.
nA A man with large family was
complaining of the difficulty of support
ing all of them.
"But," said friend, ''you have sous
big enough to earn something for you
| now
-ssThe difficulty is, they are too Gig to
work" was the answer.
ga \ western editor requests those
of his subscribers who owe him for more
than six years subscription to send him
lock of their hair, so that c will know
they are living.
BA- An Ir;shman called into store,
and priced pair of gloves. He was
told they came to ten shillings. ''Och,
by my sowl, thin" says he, I'D sooner
my hands'd go barefoot than pay that
price for en-
p@- Con BY AN OLD BAcH.-Why is the
husband of scolding wife and father
of household of crying children like
railroad? Because he has great many
cross ties.
r@- The remark having been made
that it would soon become the fashion
to wear short dresses, Mrs. Partington
made a remark that whether fashion
said so or not, her dresses were always
Short for she never had but two at
time. What marvel of domestic econ
omy and sweet wisdom that woman is
Isn't she?
na- An editor up in Minnesota says
that he was never happy but once in his
life, and what was on Il warm summers
day, when he lay in the laps of two
blooming maidens, being famed by q
third, and kissed by all three. "Gosh :
Love is like ambition-it silences
the conscience and throws the vail of
oblivion over the most sacred promises.
Bg Alabastes of a very superior
quality is found in large deposits in the
hills near the missions of Soledad AMI
San Antonio, in Monterey county, CAL
ifornia. It is clean, close grained, worry
fine and translucent, and can be cut
with knife, Its color is beautiful
light cream.
pg- A western publisher gave notice
that he intended to spend fifty dollars
for the purpose of getting up a new head
for his paper. The next day one of his
subscribers sent him the following note
"Don't do it. Better keep the money
and buy new head for the editor
na- Night keeps man alive without
fire, candles, meat, drink, or clothing
all he asks is bed. Tho poorest man
is as happy as a king the moment he
lies down, and, fortunately, he has to
stand up only half his time.
THE PRAYER OF FA1Tu.-A little
boy and his brother were lost in a west
ern forest. On giving an account of
the circumstance after they were found
the little fellow said: s'It grew dark
and 1 kneeled down and asked God to
take care of little Johnny, and then
went to sleep" How touching! how
simple! how sublime +! That was true
faith-that was genuine prayer. Da-
vid himself did not exceed it when he
said: "I will both lay me down in
peace and sleep; for thou, Lord only
makest me to dwell in safety" Perhaps
the little boy learned his lesson of trust
in God from the royal Psalmist..
s@+ A French electrician, in San
francisco, announces that he has dis
covered how to take gold from quartz