Nashville patriot. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1858-1860, 1859-05-05
From the Cleveland PIaindealer.
L rfemus Ward Sees PfeOIomiut

Cent? arroved in Cleveland on Satur-
day p. NJ. from Bladinsville jest in time to
fix myself up and put on a clean billed rag
to attend Miss Picklehomony's CRATE musical
sorry at the Melodeon. The krowds which
pOrcd into the hall augured well for the show
bisness & with cheerful sperrets / jined the
enthusiastic throng. / asked Mr. Strakosh
at the door if he parst the profession, and he
scd not much he didn't, whereupon / bawt a
preserved seat in the pit, and observing to
Mr.. Strakosh that he needn't put on so many
French airs becawz he run with big show
and that he'd better let his weskut out few
inches or prehaps he'd bust himself some fine
day, went in and squatted down. 1t was a
sad thawt to think that in all that varst
aujience Scarcely a Sole had the honor of my
acquaintance. 81 this eare,n sed | biturly.
sis Famel What sigerfy my wax fggers and
Twin wild beasts (Which hav no ekals) to
these peple? What do thay care becawz
site of my Kangaroo is worth bubble the
price of admission, and that my Snakes isf :.
harmlis as the new born babe-all of which
is strictly trOo-?" / shoOd hav gone on
ralein at Forth and things sum more but
jest then Signer MaccarOny cum out and sung
hairey from sum opry or other. He had on
bis store close 81 looked putty slick, l must
say. Nobody didn t understand nothin abowt
what he sed and so they applawded him versi
sung another hairey. He appeared to be in a
Pensive Mood & sung Luv song l spose
tho he may have bin cussin the audience all
into a heep for aut knowd. Then cum Mr..
Maccarony agin & Miss Picklehomony her
self. They sang Dot together.
Now WI know, gentz that | don't admire
opry music. But l like Miss Probationary
stile. l like her gate. She suits me. There
has bin CRATER singers and there has bin more
Il e.
female ever longed for new gown or side to
place her he'd agin a vest pattern than Maria
Picklehomony. Fassinatin people Is her best
holt.-She was born to make hash of mems
buZZums * and other wimin mad becawZ they
aiu't Picklehomonics.-Elerf face sparkles with
amuzin cussedness about 200 (two hundred)
little bit of funcy devils air continually
dancin champion jigs in her eyes, said eyes
bein brite enuff to lite pipe by. How /
shood like to hav little Maria out on my farm
i'll BaldInsvilie, Injiany, WHARF she Good run
in the tall grass, wrastle with the boys. cut
up strong at parin bees, make up facrs be-
hind the minister's back. tie auction bills TO
the skoOlmaster's cOat-tales. set all the fallers
crazy after her, Il holler, * kick up. Il 20 il
Jest as much as she wanted tol But diegres.
Every time she Gu n canterin out | grew mere
and more dclited with her. When she bowed
her he'd bowed mine. When she powtid
her lips | powtid mine. When she laried ]
larted. When she jerked her head back and
took larfn survey OF the audience, sendin a
brOadside Of sassy smiles in among EN-, |
tried to unjint myself & kOllapsc When, in
tellin how she drempt she lived in Marble
Halls, she sed it tickled her more than all tine
rest of to dream she loved her feller
still the same. made effort to swaller my
self; but when, in the next song, she looked
strate at me and called me her Dear, wildly
told the man next to me that he mite hav my
close, as | shood never want 'em agin no
more in this world. THE Plain Dealer con-
tainin this communication is not to be sent
to my family in Baldinsvlle under no cir
cumstances wbatsomeYer.1
In conclushun, Maria want you to do
well. / know you air nice gal at hart 81
yu must get good husband. He must be a
man Of branes and gumpshun 4 a good pro-
vider-a man who will luv yu just as much
IN your old age, when your voice is cracked
like an old tea kittle, Il yu can't get of
your notes discounted so per sent a month,
as be will now, when you are young 4 char
min d full OF music, sunshine & fun. Dom
marry snob Maria. Yu amt Angel
Maria IL I'm glad OF il. When see angels In
pet!ycoats I'm always sorry that they haiut
got wings so thay kin quietly fly off wher thay
will be Appreciated. Yu air woman. 4
nifty good one too. AS for Maccarony
Brignoly. Mullenholler, and them other tel
lows, thay can take care Of theirselves. Old
Mac kin make a comfortable Twin chopin
cord wood in case Is voice ever givs out, i
Amodio looks as tho he mite succeed in con
dnctn sum quiet toll gate, whar the vittles
would be plenty a. the labor lite.
l am preparin for the Summer Campane.
shall stay in Cleveland few days IL prohly
you will hear from me again ear | leav t.
once more becum tosser on life's tempestu-
Gus billers. meaning the Show bisnes.
Very Respectfully Yours.
ARTEMUs WARD.