Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1859-10-11

| all this trouble was detected. The life-blood
of the house had been oozing and flowing away
through this furnace How much would it cos,
to repair its More money than hot air fur
mace would cost, and half more than that! So
we determined to clear out the pet. Alas, "a.
gain) how we fonded the favorte at first, and
how contemptuously we kicked it at last 1t is
said that no one is o whole man we have par
tial gifts. In our own case, the gift of buying
was literally bestowed, but the talent for selling
was either withheld or lay an undeveloped en-
bryo. How to sell the old furnace and to get q
new one There is great psychological expe-
rience there. We aroused ourselves, gave sever
al days to contemplation, laid aside all other
cares, ran from furnace to furnace, saw six or
eight patterns, each one of which was better
than all the others, and all of them were able to
evolve vast quantities of heat, with an imag-
mary amout of fuel. But fortune, that had so
long prosecuted us, did not presume to destroy
US yet, and, as cat with a rat let US out of its
paws fora moments ease. In other words, we
arranged with Messrs. Richardson & Boynton to
put up their furnace in the place of the hot air
gentleman in black. And TO this hour we have
been glad of it. A Winter and half on Brook
yn Heights will put any furnace toproof. And
we are prepared to defy the north wind, the
west, or the boisterous southwest. They may
heap Winter as high as they please without, we
have Summer within.
But oh, the changing! 1t was mid-winter.-
The mild weather took this chance to go South,
and get in its place the nggardest fellow that
ever stood sentinel in Kamtschatka. The cellar
was divided from the kitchen in part by this
furnace. For two or three weeks they We're
chiseling the tubes apart, and getting the rub
bish out of the way-masons, tenders, lron-meD,
old iron and new iron, tin pipes carpenters and
then new air boxes, girls and dinner, the Irish
man wheeling at the pump-all mixed in such
confusion, that language under the tower OF ba
bel was euphonious literature in comparison.
Sometimes, as we walked out, our good and low.
ing deacons, in delicate way, would warn us of
the danger of being puffed up with the pride OF
stylish housel
At length, after nearly six weeks of the cold
est weather of the season, the new furnace took
charge of the house. Water returned to the at
tic. The girls no longer dreaded being blown
up by the boiler at the range. But the report
came up that the sinks were stopped. After in
vestigation, the kitchen floor must be ripped up
the great waste pipe reached by digging, and
laid open. Broken tumblers, plates, and cups
stopped up the pipes. Another week for this.
Just as we were sitting down to dangerous
peace. we walked to the window one morning,
to see that our yard had Disappeared The roof
of the store on which it was laid had given way,
and carried down all the EARTH crashing through
the four stories to the ground! Just one thing
more was needed-that the house itself should
slide off bodily, and dump itself into the East
Rver Yet the misfortune was not without
comfort. The store was used for grinding drugs.
Ten thousand pounds of salts, ipecac rhubarb,
strychnine, and such like delicacies, were hidden
behind hundred tons of earth-the medicine
being where many people for whom it was des
tined would have been, buritd under grouno:-
For several weeks afterwards, think the bills
of mortality improved in the region around.
There were great number OF other things
exceedingly convenient in our house. Inc wa
ter-ppe from the roof to the front clstern was
carried down within the wall to the ground
The bitter cold froze it up. Nobody could get
at it, We salted it; we poked hot irons Id The
tap, we took counsel, and finally let 1t alone
Tie cornice leaked, the walls were damp, tne
ceiling threatened to come OFT; our nelghoors 8
pipe discharged 50 much OF its contents on the
ground as to saturste the wall in our basement
entry; the area over flowed into the cellar; we
dug cess-pool to let it off, and cut through the
could not be soldered with water in it, and the
cstern must be run dry before that could be fix
ed The attic tank gave out again. No water I!
"Water, water everywhere,
.. And not drop"
to wash with. Then came on system OF beg
ging. We took the neighborhood in order, and
went from house to house, till we exhausted the
patience and the cisierns of every friend within
reach. Then we betook ourselves to the street
pump, and for two months we and the m'lkmen
subsisted upon that. l
There was grand arrangement OF bells at our
| front door, which seldom failed to make every
body outside mad because they would not ring,
or everybody mad inside because they rang 50
| furiously. The contrivance was, that two bells
should be rung by one wire; common bell III
the servants' entry, and gong in the upper en-
| try. The bell-train was so heavy to draw, that
| it never operated till the man got mad and pull
ed with the strength of an OK. But then, it
went off with such crash and gingle, that one
would think band Of music, with all Its Gym
bals had fallen through the skyllght down into
the entry. Thus, women, children, and modest
men seldom got ic, aud sturdy beggars had 1t all
their own way. 1t was quite editying to see ex'
periments performed on that bell. a man
would first give modest pull-and then reflect
what he was about to say. No one coming, ne
gave longer pull, and returned to waiting and
meditation. A third pull was the preface tc
stepping back, surveying the windows, looking
into the area, when, seeing signs OF unquestlon
able habitation, lie returns with flushed face tc
the bell--now for it! He pulls as if he held
line by the side of river with thirty pouno
salmon on it while all the bells go off, up and
down, till the house seemed full of bells. Thing:
are not mended when he finds the gentlemen o.
the house is not at home We fear that much
grace has been lost at that front door.
| In the midst of these luxuries OF first clas;
house, we sometimes would look wistfully ou
OF the window, tempted to envy the uncon-
scious happiness of our two story neighbors.-
They had no conueniences, and were at peace
while we had all manner of convenences, thai
drove us up and down stairs; now to keep the
flood out, and then to bring it in now to raise
a heat, then to keep off confagration so thai
we were but little better off at home than are
those nnocently insane people who leave home
eyery Summer and 60 into the country to take
care of twenty trunks for two months. But the
cruelest thing of ALL as we stood at the window
was the pious looks of passers by, who seemed
to say with their eyes, "a man cannot expect
much grace that lives in such fine house."
1t has certainly been means of grace to us
Never such field for patience, such humbline
of expectations and high looks. If it would moi
seem like trifing with serious SUBJECTS when
asked how one might attain to perfection, we
should advise him to buy first-cass house
with modern improvements, aud live in it for q
year. IF that did not fit him for translation he
might well despair of any chance.
Ye who envy us, will you exchange with US
Ye who laugh sarcasticaly at ministerial luxury
will YOU lend us your sackcloth and take our
conyeniencies2 But those who do live in houses
| f.n af aanroniences will henceforth he nur fast