Keowee courier. [volume] (Pickens Court House, S.C.) 1849-current, 1859-11-05
MISCELLANY.
Mr.. Peters First Wife.

Dear dear no toast, eggs boiled as
hard as briCk-bats, and the coffee stone
cold, and Mr.. Peters rose from the break
fast table in temper by no means amiable,
and rang the bell violently There was no
answer lie rang again, third, fourth
time, still no answer Out of patience,
he went to the door and called" Maria
Maria r'
A slight pretty little woman, dressed in
solcd, tumbled wrapper, with her hair in
Il state OF dlrcful confusion, answered the
summons She had one of those round.
bright faces which nature intended should
be dccked with continual smiles, but now,
with all Its roses in bloom, it was drawn
out to its full length, and the large blue
eyes hada serious, or rather doleful cX-
preston totally at variance with their usual
Joyous look. Her voice, too had lost its
mclodlous, ringing sound, and was subdued
to dismal whine.
" What is it, ,loscph?"
" Where's BridgctW
!" Gone out for me- want more white
ribbon for my ascension robe"
Mr.. Peters said very naughty word
and then continued, "Cold coffee, hard
eggs, breakfast not fit to eat"
I" wish whinod his wife, "you would
think less of temporal matters, and turn
your attention to the great end of life"
"llang it all madam. | would like to
enjoy my life while [ have it. Here was
t. the happiest man in the United States,
with pleasant home, chatty, cheerful,
ioving wife, apa good, quiet children; and
now since yoU8h have joined the NIillcrites,
what am I2'
ooh, Joseph, if you would only come
into that blessed circle !"
!" Oh, Maria, if you would only come out
OF it. Where arc Che boys ?"
" | am snre | don't know"
Are they going to school to-day 2"
My dear: the teacher has given up the
school, and is turning her mind to more ex-
allied objects. Oh! Joseph, turn now
while there is time You have still week
for preparation and repentance.
"Rcpentancc Well, when l take up
the subject, it will take rather more than a
week to put it through"
And Mr. Peters put on his coat and took
mp his hat.
" Joseph" said his wife "you need not
send home any dinner. I shall be out,
and LII take the boys over to their uncle s
to dine"
zoe made 20 answer, unless the violent
ly emphatic manner in which he closed the
door was one. Muttering with anger he
strobe into restaurant to make his break
fast. Here he was hailed by one of his
bachelor friends Fred Somcrs, who locked
mp as he heard Joes order.
HALO" he cried, "you here? WHY
what are You doing here at breakfast time? ?
Wife sick 2"
ono"
" Had n quarrel 2"
"No :"
"Gono out of town."
"No!"
" Then why don't you breakfast homc-.
Chimney on fire ?"
Nop
Servants all dead ?"
"Now
"Childron sick p
"Now
%Thcn what in the thunder Sc to pay?"
4" Nfalia's joined the Millcrites ?'
Fred gave long whistle, and then said
Going to ascend next week."
Yes, and if / don't commit suicide in
the meantime, you may congratulate me-
am ahnost distracted. Can't get dc.
cent meal, children RAINING riot, servants
saucy, house all in confusion, wife in the
blues, either quoting the speeches of the
elders at me, or sewing on a white robe,
and groaning at every third stitch. Hang
1T all, Fred, I've great mind TO take poi :
son, or join the army ~
elm! HIN Il give an enchanting
picture, but think can suggest cure"
"A cure !"
" Yes, if you will promise to follow my
advice, | will make your home pleasant,
gour wife cheerful, and your children
happy"
"Do it," cried Joe. TllfoIlow your
word like soldier under his officer What
shalt do?"
AZ tea time, Mr.. Peters entered his
home Wliistling. Maria was seated at the
table sewing on her white robe and there
were no signs of preparation for the even
Ing meal.
Maria, my dear" said Mr.. Peters
chcclfuIly Z" is tea ready"