The Alleghanian. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1859-1865, 1859-09-29
NO. G..
WITAkO WISDOM.
nA- "There never came hearty laugh,
From out a villains throat"

EsA- There never came hearty laugh,
From out villains throat"
Vr The most potent labor-saving ma
chime is large fortune left by your aunt
IA A very good way to make eye-wa-
ter Is to run your nose against lamp-post.
s9- A baker has invented a new kind
| OF yeast 1t makes bread so light that a.
pound of it weighs only four ounces.
Ia When does man shave with a
| silver razor? When he cuts of his sheirs'
with shilling!
Sa5- Betting is immoral; but how can
the man who bets be worse than he who
is no better?
ra The celebrated leaning tower of
Pisa is 315 feet high, and has an inclina-
ton from the perpendicular of II feet.
rsa- A classic editor says, if the Naiads
were constantly bathing, he presumes,
from their name, that the Dryads were
the ones who brought the towels
~ Don't expect to be called good
fellow moment longer than you consent
to do precisely what other people wish
you to do.
ssA A punster at the point of death,
being advised to eat piece of pullet, de-
cllned, saying he feared it might "Lay on
his stomach"
sa- The arms of pretty girl, wound
tightly around your neck, is said to be an
lntallible remedy in case of sore throat
1t beats "yarb-tea' all hollow.
na- The estimated force of gunpowder
when exploded, is at least 1850 pounds
on every square inch of surface which con-
fines it.
SA In the United States there are six
thousand brokers and six thousand bar
bers, but the census does not tell which
class does the most shaving
re- A yankee, who had just commen-
ced the study of Italian, wants to know
how it is, if they have no ''w" in that Ian
guage, that "them chaps spells wagon 2"
RAJ Mr.. Pescator keeps tavern. The
only objection visitors have to Pescator is,
be is too clean. Before he cuts YOU a
piece of steak, he always icks the knife,
so as 1t may not have any taste of ham
and "them eggs"
D- Here is little epigram which is as
II him kiss your cheek; "'Tis true"
"Oh, modesty" "'Twas strictly keat;
He thought me asleep: at least know
He thought l thought he thought / slept"
sa- A Frenchman, soliciting relief,
said very grayely to his fair hearers =
"Ma' 'mselle, [ nevar beg but dat l have
Won wife wild several small family, dat is
growing very large, and nossing to make
DER bread out of but the perspiration of
my own eyebrows"
r~e An irnoc,;not;ro c,o,+1o,.,o~ -l
ing of the extreme heat of New Orleans,
stated that he saw negro helping to dis
charge vessel loaded with pig lead, but
before he could carry it on land, the lead
melted and ran all over him, SO that he
had to be dug out with cold chisel
Eg- Two punsters being in company to-
gether, one desired the other to make a
pun upon the following words-di, do,
DUN; when, upon little consideration,
he produced the following:
"When Dido found Enas did not come,
She mourned in silence and was Di-do-dum,"
(dumb.)
sD- An English cockney at the Falls
of Niagara, when asked how he liked the
Falls, replied: "They're 'andsome-quite
so-but they don't quite hanswer my hex
pectations; besides got thoroughly vet
ted, and me at I prefer 10 look at 'em
in hingraving in 'ot weather, and in the
'ouse"
Ma. 1t appears that in New Zealand,
when the marriage ceremony takes place,
it is a very old custom to knock the heads
of the bride and bridegroom together pre-
vious to their union:
In Christian lands it isn't so;
The bridegroom and the bride
To logger-heads but seldom 60
Until the knot is tied.
nsa- A gentleman thought he'd like
something painted in the hall Of new
house, and chose the Israelites passing
over the Red Sea. He engaged an Irish
man for the job, who went to work and
painted the hall red. Gentleman enters.
"Nice color, H., but whore are the Is
raelites p
"Oh, they've passed over!'
gss~ "This animal" said an itinerant
Snowman, ''is the African hyena, measu-
ring fourteen feet from the tip of his nose
to the end of his tail, and the same length
back again, making in all twenty-eight
feet He cries in the woods in the night
season like human being in distress, and
then devours all who may come to his as
sistance-a sad instance of the depravity
of human nature.