Keowee courier. [volume] (Pickens Court House, S.C.) 1849-current, 1859-09-17
U G1 IE x 20 w E3- GWW-GR u L5-Gao
The Six Pleas for a New Dress.

Tittlcwinks wants another dress, and her
lord protests Now observe how she man
ages she approaches with
Plea No. l. The Persuasive Plea =
Oh, how hard he has to fight She tells
him how she loves him, snoothcs his hair,
calls him king-asks if he has the heart
to deny her? If he says he has, she pro-
Plea No. 2--Or the Destitute Plea
She informs him of the fact that she has
nothing to weai, and says a man is brute
who " ould not give his wife something to
wear. That she is not fit to be seem
That people will cry shame on him. In
vain he says that beauty unadorncd is
adorned the most" She asks if he can be
somcan as to refuse her? If hcsoys "yos,"
she proceeds to
Plea No. 3--Or the Pouting Plea
This consists more of gesture than speech.
She sits at the table with her little nose
turned up and her little eyes turned down
She eats little, till he goes to business, sighs
often, and walks about the house like
bad tempered ghost. She speaks only to
say "shc knew it would be so" and it
served her Just right" Should he dare to
say "it did, she proceeds to-
Plea No. 4-or the Property Plea She
politely asks for the little money she had
when she was married. Certainly she can
do what she wishes with her own In fact,
she had no property when they were mar
ricd. All her worldly goods consisted of
few worstcds and knitting. pins but these
knitting-pins she always pokcs in his eye
unless she conquers him before she gets to
plea No. 4. Should this fail, she proceeds
to-
Plea No 5-Orthc Comparative Plea
All her departed lovers arc made to pass
before the unhappy man, and he is com
married Mr.. Snook--i. c., the coachman,
she would have had livery. If she had
married Mr. Swizzlc, she would have lived
in style on Broad street. If she had mar
rcd-in fact anybody but her husband
she would have been treated like human
being. He perhaps, becomes little angry,
and suggests if she had married Adam she
would have dressed like Eve But as she
had married him, she must wear what he
can give her This rouscs her temper and
she comes Immediately to-
Plea No Cor the Plea Conclusive
Which consists of threat to 20 to her
mother, and many upbradings that llc
brought her away from the joys of her own
home to abuse and make her miserable.
Now, no man was ever able to stand all
these pleas, lie generally falls at No. 4,
and only in extreme cases reaches No 6.
-
A JOKE FOR THE "SoNs OF Malta" |
The Sons of Malta" a new secret or
der, as we'll as good many others, will en-
Joy the following good joke, which is told
by the Seneca Advertiser, and is said to
have occurred in one of the interior villa
gos of Ohio
A worthy member of the Methodist
Church, slightly touched with Millersm,
had never read in his Bible, nor in the
newspapers, of the Sons of Malta" and |
had no idea that such an organization was
in existence in his town The order de-
tcrmncd upon having a parade at ~ o.
clock precisely, in rcgalia, making them
look orall the wo.ll as if just risen from
slumbcr. " With the drapcry of their
couch around thcm," the Sons issued from
their council-room, the procession moved
slowly along, and in their route, passing
by Deacon A---'s house, the strains
of music and the sound of feet, awoke him
from his dreams. Drawing his curtain
aside, he saw the ghosty order fling by,
and rapidly concluded the day of Judgment
was at hand. Calling to his wife and
children, he exclaimed: "Thcre, there,
the day of Judgment is come! The spir-
its of the Methodist graveyard are going
to join the spirits in the Lutheran grave
yard, and none of you are ready but me-
told you it would be so ~