The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1859-12-06
Iron the Chicago Journal


Our Mserschaum. and How itPaId.
We have got meerschanm not . sham,
but genuine sseA foam, not an initiative
clay bowl, stuffed with tallow from Israelitish
shops, but the red magnetism hydrate, soft
and creamy from Natolian beds, smooth and
polished from ito waxen bakery. 1t il Of
snowy Wilderness 10 color, dashed with stroaks
of pale yellow its orifce is tipped with sill
YER it's stem of cherry, terminating in ebony
and pearl, with mouth piece Of pure, gold
en-, transparent amber.
With that meerschaum We purchased
purpose. We were no longer without an
aim. Time no longer would hang heavily
upon our hands. That purpose was to color
our meerschaum.
To further that great aim, we had our
meerschaum tenderly bound up in buckskin,
that no unlucky scratch might mar it's fair
exterior. We commenced boldly, fully i'm
pressed with the largeness Of our underta-
king, and cognizant that eternal vigilance
was the price of coloring meerschaums.
Armed with the enduring principles of
labor of love about q week ago. The first
her carpets and curtains scented with smoke
from "that old pipe"
Wepey finchcd.
Our landlady raised the price of board,
Sufficient to pay, during the year, for the fur
niture.
From our meerschaum diary we gather the
weeks progress ~ follows:
Second DAy-Landlady throwing ont con-
tinued hints about the impoliteness of smo-
king. Interesting lady boarder tells 81 the
dinner table, looking steadily at me, an af-
fecting story of young man Of early
promise, who once died. The doctors carved
him up, and they found large Quantities Of
tobacco SCOT in his head. Still firm. No
signs Of color.
Third Day--Found Bridget, the kitchen
girl, in my room, trying to tear of tho buck
skin from my pipe. sFaith, an she wanted
to see the dhudeen.0 Delivered brief
lecture on prerogatives, with apparent ef-
feet. At four O'Clock, bit the amber mouth
pieoe in two. Bowl grows black inside. No
signs Of color.
Fourth DAy-CalculAte the economy
Pipe $40; stem % so; silver rim IS back
skin and covering 81; breakags 500; total
$32; not estimating anxiety, responsibility,
time, hints, lectures, 30. Same year, in
Guiding rise on board, $40! Five cigars
per day, at i've cents each, per year, 39I Is.
10 meerschaum smoking cheaper than cigars?
No color yet.
Fifth Dsy-Two hours putting per day.
Interesting young lady nj dinner table mo-
ticed in sympathetic voice that Was get
ting thin thought looked psie; talked OF
premature decay mentioned, with oongre-
cation Of tears in her eyes, . youth who
died in his twentieth summer; marble tomb
stone beautiful epitaph handsomest laying
out she ever saw. Grew anxious, but still
firm, and no color.
Sixth Dsy-Think am growing dyspep-
tic ]; strange fselings In the alimsntary canal;
feel 40 If there was an elephant on the tow
path. trying to pull canal boat too heavy
Tor him . doctor ana az undertaken warmly
greeted me this morning suspioiously sepul-
chral; perceptible decrease in weight in
teresting young lady offered to loan me TAI
LIENS Alarm - ,landlady remarked that she
bad seen five funerals during the day. Not
quite so firm, and no color. ~
Seventh Dsy--Landlsdy's youngest child,
Of an inquisitive turn Of mind, Whitfield ~
q large piece Of the sssea foam to see Whist
i Was made Of; smoked week and
think I'm weaker lost money and lost flesh !;
troubled with symptoms and overrun with
female steeds at night; examined tho pipe
| no color reflected; did it.; told the inter
essing young lady; said reminded her Of
Lazarus.
Any one wishing to color meersshaum,
can now have ours cheap. liberal dis
connt TO any one wishing TO procure good
family pipe.
ca The Inauguration of Gov. Pettus. of
mississippi, took place at Jackson ON the