davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Lynchburg daily Virginian. [volume] (Lynchburg [Va.]) 1852-1861, 1859-12-23

NOTICE.
(\N and after MONDAY next, there will be no Flour inspected
~ in this Depot, until further notice, owing 10 The crowded
condition of the Depot Il. ID. JELLlS,
nov ll-dts Gen. FRI. Agt, Va. n Tenn. K. L.
Lynchburg daily Virginian. [volume] (Lynchburg [Va.]) 1852-1861, 1859-12-23

NICE Leaf Lard and sugar Cured Ham. for sale by
~ Sep' iods SMITH & ANS
Lynchburg daily Virginian. [volume] (Lynchburg [Va.]) 1852-1861, 1859-12-23

10 STOLEN, from my farm near lIoaaris,iM lie, on
I|@A "Wednesday OF last week, \ GREY HORSE, three or
EAl four years old, medium size. Twenty dollars reward
via ~, given Tor the apprehension Of the thiei, and a liberal re-
"ard Tor The Horse. ). 4. Is,
sept i6-dts SCOTS, lie. AlcmarIc. VA.
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1859-08-11
A Roller-bov on a Tour.

The Cleveland Herald roller-boy-n country
printing offices called the devil got permits
sion last week to join an excursion party on q
Lake steamer, but he forgot to put money in bis
purse before he went aboard, and the result was
the Captain had to chalk Rollers hat He sent
back his experience in the shape of a letter. from
which we make an extract as a solemn warning
to all other roller boys:
Calling at once upon Capt Evans, and frank
ly owning that hadn't the first red for expen-
ses, the. generous hearted old fellow exclaimed,
z Never mind, my boy we won't go to the
trouble of putting you on shore. Stow your
self away where it is most convenient, and Wen
take you back to Cleveland tomorrow free OF
charge" Perching myself on barrel OF new
turnips near the ticket-ofice, my ears were SUD
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1859-08-11
Volume /, Number 40.
Sabbath @eaaint.
Sleeping in Meeting.
BY MARGARET vEENE.

Take me to sewing society, place me between
two pious old ladies, and let them both lecture
me, at the same moment, on fmproprieties,"
put nv hands into bach of biscuit and let a
dozen flies crawl over my cheeks and nose-co-
yer my feet with chilblains and command me to
sit still-elbow me at the dinner table-put me
into an omnibus beside man who splits tobacco
juice out of the window, over my shoulder
make me tend and kiss a sour baby, half day
at tinpe, and III submit without murmur,
only deliver me from attending church where
sleepy preacher presides.
O. how many Sabbaths / have sas withiB
sound of Mr.. Somebody's lullaby voice. looking
up and down, bobbing my head this way and
that in search of something that would fix nv
atteBtion, so that could keep my eyes open
How used to count the folds in the pulpit hang
ings; count the panes of glass in the long win
dows trace out, with the toe of my boot, the
figures on the pew-earpet; braid mothers shaw
fringe look the congregation over to see how
many turD-up noses there were, and how many
turned down ones, and how many that went
right straight ahead, without crook or turn
and then, in spite of everything, find myself bow
ing to every individual one in the meeting house
dear, dear, dear me, what misery it nsed to
be
usea TO try to keep myself awake, thinking
that should find home in thswarm place tAaS
the parson referred to so often, if slept in meet
ing. but looking around me, soon disposessed
me of that idea for Mr.. Wells, the greatest
Christian in church nodded through sermon time,
and his good wife famed everybody within four
pews of her, with her great brown bonnet's mo-
ton. Dea. Stearns and Dea. Osgood bowed to
eaeh other, once in three minutes, across the
aisle, and good Aunt Sally Warren, the mother
of the church. sat with her head back upon her
shoulders, eyes closed, and nose turned up,
breathing like locomotive. during the whole
time the minister was busy among the " sixthlies,
seyenthlies, and eighthlies." No, that Wouldn't
do. was sure oFheaven, on that score.
q How it looksl" I would say to myself and
then the next moment would feel my eyes turn
ing towards my forehead, my eyelids gently clos
ing and the nexs thing would be quick, toward
motToa of the head, sharp twang of the neck,
and then look all around, to see who was MOTTO.
ing me.
Once in while, nowadays, ] find myself in
Just swch place and position as used to be the
bore Of my Childish Sabbaths. Once in while,
not often, find my eyes shutting slowly, ana
myself wishing, more fervently than ever WISH
ed anything else that some one would take me up
o. SO gently, take off my bonnet, softly, ana lay
me down in the middle of downy, plumpfeath-
er-Bed, where could sleep without interruption
and dream, without having my head broken eli
nv . anick nod Of the head. Did you ever feel
so, reader
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1859-08-11
Apologize.

poor laborer, in certain village, died, az or
a long Illness and having escaped the turmoilS
of existence, presented himself at the gates OF
Heaven, where he found he had been preceded
by rich man of the same locality, who had just
died, and having previously knocked, had been
admitted by the Apostle Peter. The laboreF,
who stood without, was enchanted by the ravIsh-
ing Sounds of singing, rejoicing and sweet music
which appeared to hail she entsanceof the Dives
and having knocked in his turn, was also admit
ted.
But what was his astonishment at finding
silence, where seraphic sounds had SO lately been
joyousfy uttered
"How is this ~ he demanded of Peter;
"wheu the rich man entered. heard music and
singing: is there, then, the same distinction be-
tween rich and poor in Heaven as on earth =
mot at al, y replied the Apostle, :" but the
moor come to Heaven every day, whereas ii is
scarcely once in a hundred years that rich man
gains admission"
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1859-08-11

A friend at our elbow relates illegal anecdote,
which is too good to be lost. 1t is, Of course,
located out West" that region so famous for
it's luminous jurists, and illustrates the ruling
passion for poker, even among Western members
of the bar. The court is in session, the judges
on the bench, and the case of Smith gersws
Brown, is called up
]" All ready p shouts the counsel for defendant !;
but the counsel for the plaintiff does not res
pond.
"Who's for the plaintiff p inquired the judge,
somewhat impatiently.
j" May it please the court, said rising MEM
Der of the legal fraternity, :" Pilkins is for the
plaintiff but have left him just now over in
the tavern, plaing game Of poker He's got
sucker there, and he's sure to skin him if he
only has time He's got the thing all set to
wiring in cold duck, in which case he win deal
for himself four aces, and his opponent four
queens so that you honor will perceive he must
rake the persTmmons.
The look Of impatience vanished from the face
of his Honor at once, and an expression OF sor-
row more than anger took its place. At length
he said, with sigh:
"Dear me, that's too bad 1t happens at a
very unfortunate time; | am very anxious to
get along with these cases"
A brown study followed, and at length hap
by idea struck the judge.
"Bil" said he, addressing The friend of the
absent Pilkins, who had spoken, "you under
stand poker about as wen as PiIkins. Suppose
you go over and play his hand !"
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1859-08-11

denly interested by the half breathing, half-expo
sive tones of a mans voice applying for tickets
who appeared to fear that he should be heard
by some one beside the clerk
say" he exclaimed, me and my wife have
just heen married, and I'm looking for 'commo-
dations.'' M
" Looking for berth 2" hastily inquired
the busy clerk, passing tickets out to another
customer.
/" A birth thunder, no, gasped the astoDis-
ed man, I" we hain't but just got married
want place to stay allnight room, you know,
and-and bed"
"Ah yes, certainly" replied the polite clerk,
looking as if something salt had got into his eye,
1" you shall have the best that the boat affords !;
we always look out for the comfort of wedding
parties"
On the arrival of the boat at Detroit saun-
tered up town to look for work in some of the
Offices but was told by the editor of a daily pa
per that the city was already SO full of deoils
that delegates from Cleveland would stand no
sort of chance therefore start for home in the
morning.
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1859-08-11
The Sphynx.

Near tho pyramids. more " Onder0us and more
awful than all else in the land of Egypt, there
sits the lonely Sphynx Comely the creature
is, but the comeliness is not of this world; the
once worshipped beast is a defornity and mon
sterto this generation and yet you can see
thattbose lips, so thick and heavy, were fashioned
according to some ancient mould of beauty
some mould of beauty now forgotten-forgotten,
because that Greece drew forth Cytheria from the
flashing foam of the Egean, and in her image
created new forms Of beauty and made it a law
among men, that the short and proudly -wreathed
lips should stand for the sign and the main con-
dition of lovness through all the generations to
come. Yet still there lives on the race of those
who were beautiful in the fashion of the elGer
world and Christian girls of Copic blood will
look on you with the sad, serious gaze and
kiss your charitable hand with the big pouting
lips of the very Sphynx.
Laugh and mock if you will at the worship of
stone idols but mark ye this, We breakers If ina
ges that in one regard the stone idol bears
awful semblance Of Deity-unchange in
the midst of change-the same seeming will and
intent for ever and ever memorable! Upon an
cient dynastes Of Ethiopian and Egyptian kings
upon Greek and Roman--upon Arab and
Ottoman conquerors-npon Napoleon dreaming
of an eastern empre-upon the battle and pes
tilence-upon the ceaseless misery of the Egypt
ian race-upon keen eyed travellers Herodians
yesterday, and Warburton to-day: upon all,
and more, this unworldy Sphynx has watched
like Providence with the same earnest eyes,
and the same sad tranquil mein. And we, we
shall die, and Islam shall wither away; and the
Englishman, leaning far over to hold his loved
India, will plant firm foot on the banks of the
Nile, and sit in the seats of the faithful and
still that seepless rock will lie watching and
watching the works of the now busy race, with
those same sad, earnest eyes, and the same tran
quill mein. everlasting You dare not mock at
the Sphynx. ~ M IfH
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1859-08-11
The G2nsiderate Doctor.

A poor girl who had just recovered from fit
of sickness, gathered up~her scanty earnings and
went to. the Doctors oGiccto settle her bill. -
Jastat the door, the lawyer ofNthe place passed
into the Office on a similar errand. !.
Well, Doctor, | believe | am indebted to
You. and wish for you to tell me how much.
"Yes," said the Doctor, ~ attended you
abonta week, and what would you charge me
for a weeks services, !" A.. lao.
"Oh, perhaps seventy-fve dollarsIp said the
lawyer. s9f ~
& Very well, then as my time and profession
are as valuable as yours, your bill is seventy-fye
dollars. @
The poor girls heart sank within her. for if
her bill was any thing like that how could she
ever pay.d ag rs.
Is The lawyer paid his bill and then passed out,
when the doctor turned to the young lady and
kindly enquired her Grand @4.atra
you, although I know not that can ever pay
you. $500
y" attended you about week ~
!" Yes sir"
tWhat do you get week Z"
Seventy five cents, said she.
g Is that all 2"
F" Yes, sir"
+" Then your bill is seventy-fve cents.
The poor girl paid him thankfully, and then
went back with light heart.
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1859-08-11
An Anecdote of Leather.

The philadelphia Press concludes pleasant
article upon leather and shoemakersr with the
following ancedote:
"The familiar term Cordwainer, spilled to a
shoemaker. takes its name from CordovaE, in
Spain, where goatskfp was tanned and dressed
by peculiar process The term originally was
Cordiner, from the French cordouannier, a
worker In cordwain or Cordovan leather To this
day the Scottish shoemakers are called cordi-
ners
I'm concluding this rapid sketch, we may
mention an anecdote of the celebrated Rlcharu
Brinsly Sheridan. For many years ne represeh-
ted the town of Stafford in the British Fafl'a-
ment The peculiar trade of that town IS snoe-
making. At public dinner, to celebrate us re-
election. Sheridan was called on Dy Alderman
Fritch a shoemaker himself for a toast AT
that moment Sheridan, who was talking with the
chairman pretended not to hear the call. The
Alderman repeated it in louder tone, and Sherl-
dan affecting little petulanee at the Interrupt
ton. testify answered, :" You want toast DO
Won Here's one-May the trade of Stafford
he trampled under foot all over the world p
The toast was quickly understood and duly hon
ored. AT far distance, we take leave to make
an application of Sheridan's sentiment to the
boot and shoe trade of Philadelphia"
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1859-08-11
The Simple Secret.


Twenty clerks in. a store HI Twenty hands :
in printing office. Twenty apprentices in a
ship yard. Twenty men about village, All
want to get on in the world and all expect to
do so. One of the clerks will rise to be partner
and make fortune One of the compositors
own newspaper and become an influential and
prosperous citizen. One of the apprentices
viii come to be master builder One of the
young villagers will get handsome farm and
live like patriarch. But which is destined to
be the lucky individual? Lucky! 4 There is no
luck about it. The thing is almost as certain as
the Rule of Three. The young fellow who will
distance his competitors is he who masters his
business, who preserves his integrity, who lives
clearly and purely, who never gets into debt,
who gains friends by deserving them, and puts
his money into the sayings-bank. There are
some ways to fortune that look shorter than this
old dusty highway. But the staunch men .of
the community, the men who achieve something
really worth having, good fortune, good name,
and a serene old age, all go this road.
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1859-08-11

were SO weak you could scarcely feel them. She
was in kind of trance like sleep. 1t was some
time before we succeeded in waking her, and
then her limbs seemed chilled and stifened by
the subtle dampness Of the meadow land atmos-
phere.. She could not stand How many times
that afternoon the little darling had begged US
to make chair for her, with our hands, and
we had answered that we. couldn't stop. We
made one now She twined her dimpled arms
about our necks, and held ongvery tight, but
she didn't speak, except once, and then she only
said, !" Amt / most big enough, sister Kate y
Mrs Harrington met US at the door with a
wild look of alarm. Good heavens Kate -
she exclaimed g what's the matter with Rose ~
And taking her from our arms, she discovered
that her clothes were almost saturated with
moisture. Kate, child, why don't you speak !?
Has Rose been in the water?"
No, ma'a m; but she went into the meadow
and got to sleep, and we found her there sleep
ing :" fr a5ssf .s.s.t
Oh, there were anxious hearts in Deacon Har-
rington's brown house thatnight Very ten
derly was the suffering little Rose Graded on
her mothers breast, but not once did she speak
coherently. Her cheeks burned, and her eyes
sparkled with fever her dinlpled arms tossed
above her head, and every little while between
her means she would stretch out her hands to-
wards some imaginary object, and say: Please,
sister Kate, isn't Rose most big enough ~ a
: Three days passed-days of incessant watch
ing and weariness--and toward evening little
Roselopened her blue eyes. after restless slum-
Der. She seemed.mnehs better, land. the mother
glanced hopefully up to the kind physician ben
ding over her. alaos u aga
81 cannot say she's better, madam. God
knows wish could; bnt Rose, must die be-
fore midnight !" and the tears stood in glitter
ing drops on the good mans cheeks
The mothers great grief was not noisy. She
quietly lifted her darling from the bed, and sat
down with her in her arms Kate stoodby, sob
bing as if already the brand of Cain were upon
her brow e va.
Please, mamma" said the little one at
length" ami big enough to go heaven ?"
- Yes, darling" was the fearful answer
/" Jesus loves little children"
And, mamma, do you s'pose he'll forgive
me for sitting down in the meadows to watch
Katie, when you oldmeI mustn't stay there 2"
aA'9Yes, my pet the good Savior will forgive
you for anything, if you are only sorry but
Rosie doesn't want to go to heaven and leave
mother, does she ?" #a
"I heard somebody say must go, when I
was asleep, mother beautiful lady with oh !!
such white, shining wings, and she stretched out
her arms to take me, but didn't go. woke up
just to kiss you and sister once more Please kiss
me- Katie little Rose won't never be naughty
any more mp in heaven, and Til grow big before
you come, Katie, SO can play with you up
there ~
There were tears, sighs, funeral, and a little
coffin. The rosebud opened its petals on the
bosom of Jesus. The little earth-fower was
"big eEongh for heaven"
Il
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1859-08-11
d. d. Blackwell, Publisher.
g pFt.a 81 q d 1
[FoR THE PRESS.

I
[FoRTHE PREss.1
Minnie v..a
q y .nsaeai hal IA f
asj 81 lsaa BY KATE w.ae g5lt 90
aoas seu 9iT .g.r-----777-- aaa m
=. The angels looked from Heaven
Upon this earth of ours
ITO choose from a social circle
,7aa7agn The fairest of its flowers 81
a8. 81 iaaaas aaea 8ai
rtfn89 They saw blue-eyed Minnie, lta4
A bright one in our band
Then sent this happy message,
Come to this heavenly land.p
For here saints and angels
With crowns, and harps of gold, AS
And the glory of Christ's fair kingdom
No language uAfold
And in this land Of beauty
s 1865. mansion Christ hath made, H}9
And reserved for thee sweet Minnie;
When thy form in dust is laid.''
Our loved one heard the message
-' Sent to her from High
sfi Thus in all her youth, and goodness
Was Minnie called to die. e
From the midst of gay companions,
In all her beauteous bloom
From EARTH and all earth's treasures
lt3us Death called her to the tomb.
81 Those blue eyes closed forever, 1
That voice is hushed for aye,
And shall we behold her.
Until the Judgment Day. h,
We miss her in our circle,
s- Alas and can it be st
Hush-for Minnie sleepeth
From all earth's trials free:
And the day is fast approaching,
@3 When those who have gone before,
sHe Shall joyfully embrace u.s.
On yonder heavenly Shore
Pan0, Illinois.
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1859-08-11
III 1t M d \ D 1t 9

gEels have been skinned since Noah came out
of the ark and Printers have been cheated out
of their just dues ever since the Orientals prin-
ted ca blocks of wood yet neither do the cells
get used to being skinned nor the printers to
being Heeced This argues great obstinacy on
the part of eels and printers
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1859-08-11

"Do you know who built this bridge 7" said
person to Hook. NO." replied the wit;
!" but if you go over you'l be tolled."
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1859-08-11

A man who was sentenced to be hung, was
visited by his wife, who said;
My dear would you like to have the young
ones see you executed ?"
NO." replied he.
That's just like you," said she, :" for you ne
yer wanted to let the children have little en-
joyment .
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1859-08-11

A good name win wear out, bad one may
be timed, nickname lasts forever.
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1859-08-11

J.. Those, men talk most who are in the greatest
mental darkness frogs cease their croaking
when light is brought to the water-side.
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1859-08-11

A strap is sometimes a very good thing t
sharpen razors and dull boys.
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1859-08-11

Most articles fuctuate in value; but it has
generally been observed that pen, ink and paper
are always stationery
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1859-08-11

The editor of the Boston Post says that bran
DIV applications are recommended for badness,
continued externally until the hair is well star
ted, and afterwards taken in generous quanti-
ties internally, to clinch the roots
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1859-08-11

It is said that the legs of Porter, the Ken
lucky giant, were so long, that he had to have
his pantaloons made in rope walk.
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1859-08-11

What is the difference between a carriage
wheel and carriage horse !? One goes better
when it is tired--the other DON'T
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1859-08-11

1T shouldn't care much about the bugs" SAID
thin, pale lodger to his landlady put tne lac'
is, ma'am, han't got the blood to spare 4"
The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1859-08-11

To resusitate drowned Englishman, place
piece of roast beef under his nose; French
man, a pinch of snuff; an old maid an offer of
marriage and Yankee, attempt to pick his
pockets.
An old bachelor says that marriage was insti-
tuted for no other purpose than to prevent men
from sleeping diagonaly in bed M a
Minnesota Staats-Zeitung. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1858-1877, 1859-10-29
!'''0'''1 eintn5& asfyater. .I"-3 ~
J." :ptr 1aafiqn 'pIj il Gjaurtlputrts IS ffrr,p. ..
'enn tfHu r. Sweet oes Mufftanses+
Die &frSt! &ruppen fegrei@.
4'} 18 &erfomen 9etDbtet. IT,"

Der 9aupturbeter bes bluttsen Mufz
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nit ben semaltbdti9en Scenen i'm @ren,>
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