Mountain Democrat. [volume] (Placerville, El Dorado Co., Cal.) 1854-1860, 1859-06-25
Kicking q Yankee.

Kicking a Yankee.
y very handsome friend Of ours, who few
weeks ago was pokcd out Of comfortable
Office up>t the river, has betaken himself to
Bangor for time to recover from the wound
inflicted upon his feelings by our unprinci-
pied and immolating administration"
Change Of mir must have had an instant ef.
feet upon his spirits, for, from Galcna, he
writes us an amusing letter, which, among
other things, tells Of . desperate quarrel that
took place ON board Of the bOat, between q
real live tourist and real live Yankee settler.
The latter trod on the toes of the former,
whel lcupOn the former threatened to "kick
out Of the cabin" the latter.
"You'll kick mo out Of this cabing?"
"fcs sir, Ill kick you out OF this cabin Z"
you'll kick me, Mr.. Hitchcock, out Of this
cabing!"
"Ycs, sir you Mr.. Hitchcock"
swell, l guess" said the Yankee, very
cOOlly, after being. perfectly satisfied that It
was himself that stood in such imminent dan
ger Of assault. ~ guess, since you talk Of
kicking, you've never heard me tell about old
Bradley and my marc to humt"
"NO, sir, nor do wish"
"Wall, guess it wont set you back much,
anyhow, as kicIing'S generally best to be con-
sidcrcd on. You see old Bradley is one of
those sanctimonious, long.faccd hypocritcs
who put on religious suit every Sabbath day
morning, and with . good deal Of screwing
manage to keep it on till after sermon in the
afternoon; and as ! was . Universalist, he
all>rs picked me out as a subject for religious
convcrsatiOn-nnd the daVned hypocritc would
talk about heaven, hell and tho devil-the
crucitixion and praycr-withOut ever winking.
Wall, he had nm old roam marc that would
jump over any fourteen rail fence in Illinois,
and open any door in my barn that hadn't
paddock on it. TU or three times found her
in my stable, and told Bradley about it, and
hc was very sOrty-.an unruly animal
would watch her'-.and q hull lot of such
things all said in serious manner, with Q
face twice as long as old Deacon Farrar's on
sacrament day.
N knew al tho time he was lying, and so
watched him and his old roam tu: and for
three nights regular old roam came to my sta
blc about bed time, and just at daylight Brad
Icy would come, bride her and rido off.
then just took my old marc down to black
smiths shop, and had some shoes made with
cork about four inches long, and had 'cm nailed
ON her hind feet. Your heels, mister, amt
nuthn' to 'cm. took her hum-givc her
about ten feet halter, tied her right in the CEN
ter Of the stable, fed her we'll with the oats at
nine o'clock, and after taking good smoke
went to bed, knowing that my old mare was o
truthtclling animal, aud that She d give good
report Of herself in the morning.
hadn't got fairly asleep before the old wo-
man hunched me, and wanted to know what
on airth was the matter out at the stable So
says ], 20 to sleep, Peggy, it's nothing but
Kate-shc's kicking off flies guess" Purity
soon she hQnchCd me again, and says she,
"Mr. Hitchcock, du get up and see what in
the world is the matter Of Kate, for shc is
kicking most powerfully"
"Lay still, Peggy, Kate will take care Of
herself, guess"
swell, tho next morning about daylight,
bradley, with bride HI hand, cum to the sta.
bic, and true as the book Of Genesis, when he
saw tho old rOan's sides, starn and head. he
cursed and swOrc worse than you did, mister,
when came down on your toes After break
fast that morning Joe Davis cum to the house
and says he
Bradlcy's old roam is nearly dcad-shC's
cut ell to pieces, and can scarcely move"
~ want to know" says ], "6ow on airth
did it happen" ,,"'.
''Now Joe was member Of the same church
with Bradley, and whilst We were talking, up
cum the everlastin' hypOcrite, and says he"
MY old roam is ruined I"
"Du tell!" says I, ~,
"She is cut all to pieces ,; sayshe "do you
know whether she was in your stable, Mr..
Hitchcock, last nightan -s -
"Wal, mister; with this LET out; "DG !
k1o0 itF=Iths Yankee here, In iIlusRatiOn,
mada n aitS1fTOn aHvanco ,nr,Ov. khn AaS.1-V -lSs
made way for him, uNcOnscSOuSl9 Is Il wefa J