Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1859-12-08
Our. Meerschaum and How it'paid.

We have got a meerschaum not sham,
but a genuine sea foam" not an initiative
clay bowl, stuffed with taIIow, from Israelitsh
shops, but the genuine magnetism hydrate, soft
and creamy from Natoan beds smooth and
polished from its waxen bakery 1t is of snowy
whtenesS in color dashed with streakS of pale
yellow its orfce is tipped with silver, its stem
of cherry, terminating in ebony and pearl with
mouth piece Of pure, golden transparent am
ber.
With that meeTSchaum we purchased a pur-
pose We were no longer without an aim
Time no longer void hang heavily upon our
hand. That purpose, that aim, was to color
our meerSchanm.
To further that great aim, we had our meer-
schaum tenderly bound in buckskin, that no
unlucky scratch might mar its fair exterior.
We commenced boldly fully impressed with
the largeness of our undertaking, and cogni-
zaut than eternal vigilance was the price Of
coloring mecrschaum.
Armed with the enduring principles ofmeer-
schaum right, we commenced our labor Of
love about week ago The first day our
Iandlady vigorously refused to have her car
pets and curtains scented with smoke from
= that old pipe"
We never tlinChed
Our landlady raised the price of board suili-
ccnt to pay, during the year for the furniture.
From our meerSchaum diary we gather the
weeks progress as follows:
Second Dav-Landlady throwing out con
tnual hints about the impoliteness OF smoking.
Interesting young lady bOarder tells at the
dinner table looking steadily at me, affect
ing story of youngImau Of early promise, who
once died. Doctors carved him up and found
large quantities of tobacco SCOT in his head
Still firm. No signs of color.
Third dag-Fouud Bridget, the kitchen
girl in my room trying to tear off the buckskin
from pipe Faith she wanted to see the
dhudeeu." Delivered brief lecture on pre-
negatives, with apparent effect. At four
o'clock bit the amber mouth piece in two
| Bowl grows black inside No signs Of color.
Fourth dag-Caculate the economy Pipe,
| 500, STEM IS, so silver rim, IS two pounds
of tobacco per week, Turkish, SO huckSkin
and covering 81 breakage ; SOC. Total $32
not estimating anxiety responsibility, time,
/ hints, lectures &c Same per year, including
rise on board, $24O 4! Five cigars per day at
/ five cents each,per year $9l %. Is meerschaum
smoking cheaper than cigars! No color yet
/ rim d0g-Two hours putting per day. In
/ terestinr young lady at dinner table noticed
/ in a sympathetic voice that ] was growing
thin thought | looked pale talked OF pre-
mature decay mentioned, with a congrega
, tion of tears in her eyes; youth who died IL
his twentieth summer marble tombstone
beautiful epitaph handsomcst laying out she
ever saw Grew anxious weighed myself
/ had lost two pounds more anxious, but still
/ firm and no color.
! .Sirih Day Think am growing dyspep
/ tic strange feelings in the aiimentary canal
/ feel as if there was an elephant on the tow
/ path trying to pull caual-boat too heavy fol
/ him doctor and an undertaken warmly
! greeted me this morning suSp,couSiy scpui
/ chraI ;pcrceptiblc decrease in weight interest
. ing young lady offered to lead me " AlIcu.
/ Alarm - laudIady remarked that she had Seet
five funerals during the day. Not quite Sc
/ firm and 10 color.
! .Strcn'h doy.-LandIady' youngest child, o
| an iuquiSitye turn Of mind, Whitfield oil {
/ large piece of the sea foam to see what il
was made Of smoked a week and think In
weaker Ios- money and lost flesh troubled
with symptoms and overrun with female stced.
at night examined the pipe; no color; re
hected did it b.; told the interesting young
lady said | reminded her Of Lazarus
Any one wishing TO color a meerSchaum cat
have ours cheap A liberal discount to any on,
wishing to procure good family pipe.