The south-western. [volume] (Shreveport, La.) 1852-1870, 1859-05-11

smelt gas. Some one from upstairs said he
smelt gas Much against his will, the clerk
proceeded to find where the leak was. 1t
seemed stronger in the neighborhood of the
room occupied by the bride and groom The
4 clerk concluded to knock at the door of the
room
] Who's there?" came from within.
"Open the door, the gas is escaping"
"Gasl what gas!" said Jeems, opening the
"Why, here in this room. How did you put
your light out?"
"Blew it out, of course
"You played HI" Our amiable clerk
bering that there was lady in the case, or
rather in the bed, be checked his rising tenn
per, and having lit the gas proceeded to show
Jeems the mystery Of its burning, as follows:
"Y GU see this little thing here? Well, when
you want to put it out you must give it turn
this way, and when you want to make it lighter
turn this way. Serious consequences might
have resulted if it had not been discovered. It
might have suffocated US all. Now be careful
next time"
Much obliged. But how the devil did
know the stuff was 'scapin?" replied Jeems
Didn't you smell it?" said the clerk
Pears to me l did smell suthin. said
Jeems. 'sBut Lie. III be burned eff didn't
think it was you, kase l never slept with a
woman afore"
"Well, Jeems, / thought it was you smelt
that way all the time. was jest wonderin' ef
all men smelt that way. It peared strange
but then | never slept with a man afore and
didn't know nothing about it, !" was the response
of Lie, as she turned over for nap.
The red in our clerks face grew smilingly
redder, as it reflected the light from the burn
ing jet and roguish twinkle luked in the
corner Of his eyes, as he turned off the gas and
all was dark and our friends were left alone
in their glory. A sound of suppressed mrth
was heard in the reading room for a few min
utes, and all was still
SAM SrAcKPoLE's ADvENrURE.-'You on never
heard tell Of my moIasses candy adventure, did
you, squirrel said Stackpoe to me, one day,
when l called at his house to- take the census
of his family.
shook my head, and he proceeded,
i speculate IL was rather wonderful affair,
and if Sally there would tell it, you would ap-
preciate it certain. | was eourtin Sally atthat
that time, and was in love up to my eyes. But
her old daddy was opposed to me out and out
And he was a stupendous mantle crossest,
ugliest old man that ever wore spectacles, and
I've wondered how Sally could besuch charm
ing little ceature, with such crusty old fellow
for father. She was magnum bonum gal,
sure at that time; a little faded now, you see,
but that is to be expected. Beauty is but skin
deep-ugliness goes to the bone.
| /. We'll, one day went to town and bought
whole heep of fancy doings, ribbons, beads,
goose greese for the hair, ct eetera and so forth,
| was determined to coax her up, and putting
my purchases snugly in a bundle, | ocomated
towards her daddy's house, true as rife.
1t was rather late when | arriy' and old
Scraggs was bilin' some molasses candy for Sal
" to peddle on next day-there being show
Sally and her mother having retired
The first thing done, however, arter enter
in, and oldScraggs had stared at me a few, was
tusset right down in pan Of hot molasses he'd
put on cheer to cool, which made me jump
up and howl amazin' Gingerbread! how it
burned! But as he didn't see the accident,
squatted on Sally's band box, which contained
! her Sunday bonnet-not noticing-and went to
rubbing like sixty-six.
We'll, arter I'd set thar spell groaning my
self and wondering how much damage had
done, the old man give me another look and said:
Sam Stackpole, what have you come here
arter-say?'
Mr.. Scraggs,' says 1, not daring to stir, for
fear he would diskiver my predcament, 1 have
come here on very important business ooh Lor-
dy! how that merlasses smarted!) and if you'll Il
Just keep your ebenezer down about FIVE min
utes, | will endeavor to inform you with that ac
curacy that I'm SO preeminently and conspic-
uously developed
The old fellow didn't understand that are
powerful language, and in course he didn't say
nothing, so kept as easily as possibly could,
and went on:
Perhaps, says /, you ve noticed that | have
been payin' numerous attentions to your daugh-
ter, and am gratifed to state with infinite popu-
larity. Now, if you'll give Sally to me, will
vote for you for governor, and leave my coun-
try eff you amt elected
Well arter had delivered myself in that are
benevolent style, what do you think the old
codger's reply was? Why, instead of saying
take Sally and welcome, he actually pinted to
the door and told me to scatter. vow, l got
out of patience then, sure, and didn't care what
occurred-if Sallv's bonnet was smashed
sMr. Scraggs,' said, I should be very hap
py to oblige you, bur the fact is, | sat down
here and can't leave, nohow, unless you cut
hole in my trowsers.'
When the old man seed how was stuck fast
as sat, he just cotched up the whole pot full
of hot candy off the fire, and emptied it all over
my head and shoulders true as I'm alive! je-
hu! how the stuff made me holler But was
so mad that l grabbed big cob and let him
have it, bfl-right a'tween the eyes.
Take that, says l, you old hap-eared piece
of conformity and then | started for the door
direct jest got it open, ready to dart, when
1 old Scraggs bust into loud laugh, and Sally
spoke for the FIRST time
Sam Stackpole, says she, noid' ny band
box and your pantaloons are annexed.
Jerusalem says I, and leaped. must
have been awful skeered. for l landed at least
twenty feet outside the house, and run like a
prairie on fire. never looked behind me till
next morning, and when did, the klver of the
bandbox was sticking fast to my trowsers.
That was my merlasses candy adventure,
squire, and right hot work it was. l married
Sally at last The old man gin in after awhile,
and now you can reckon up the family in your
sinsus as soon as you please.