Muscatine weekly journal. [volume] (Muscatine, Iowa) 185?-1890, 1859-07-01
JOE BowERs.S WEDDING

UcICIl III is liIul Iuu NcCIuCu, Iob
caring a snap of his finger for either the
applause of friends or the murmurings
of enemies. He is, perhaps, the most
devoted man to law in all creation, and
has his head SO full Of what he terms
"judical talk" that he not unfrcquent-
ly finds himself MAJ ing learned charges
and passing sentence outside Of the
Courtroom.
On recent occasion, the Judge was
called upon to exercise the power and
authority in him vested" in the case
Of young couple who wished their
hands Joined in the holy bands Of we'd
lock. OF course he consented to per-
form the pleasing duty, and on the ap-
pointed evening was promptly on hand
at the house where the affair was to
come off. The room was crowded by
the beauty and fashion Of the town,
and none looked more dig fled or hap
~ than the Judge himself, who was
dressed within an inch Of his life.
1t is customary, on occasions like
the one referred to, for the people of
the mountain town to pass round the
wine quite freely, and to their ever
lasting credit, we will add, they con-
slider it no harm to manifest warm
interest in the joyous event of getting
married. The Judge is an 'mirer Of
the fair sex, having, in the course Of
his life, led the third one to the altar.
To use his own language, he isa great
believer in Weddings" and that he
should become little mellow amid the
glorious scenes Of the evening, was not
to be wondered at by those who knew
him intimately. He had the weakness
of all good Judges. He would take
his "tod."
The wine had passed round and
round. The music had ceased. The
time for making Joseph Bowers and
Nancy 1Iarkers one had arrived. Ev-
cry heart throbbed with the most
pleasurablc emotions. The young
gentlemen desired to know how "g1oeo
would stand II, " s.~u the your ladies
ne anxious to see now "Nance"
would suffer the awful shock. Others
again, who had closely observed the
turn Of affairs during the evening, fixed
their attention upon the Judge, to see
how be would come out of the scrape.
1T length the trying moment was
announced. The Judge arose very
cautiously from the chair which he had
occupied in corner Of the room, and
casting his eye over the company, he
recognized the sheriff Of the county,
who was present as an invited guest.
The Judge had imbibed just enough to
make him forget the nature Of his bu-
siness. He was full Of his "judlcial
talk" and required nothing but tie
presence Of the sheriff to start him.
Looking sternly at the officer, he shout
ed:
"N1r. Sheriff. open the Court and
call them to order.''
A general litter followed this COM
mand, in the midst Of which the sheriff
took the "Court" gently by tic arm,
and led him to his seat in the corner,
at the same time informing that august
parsonage Of his mistake. Everything
now bid fair fer pleasant and sudden
termination Of the affair, until another
annoyance, which was nothing less than
the absence Of the bridegroom, was
observed.
1t turned out that he had just step
ped across the street to join his friends
in parting drink =; but before his re-
turn, some cold blooded wag had whis-
pered into the ear of our foggy Judge,
the cause Of ,"delay in the proceed
ings." Instantly the chair in the cor
ner moved and in that direction all
eyes were fixed.
"Mr. Sheriff." drawled out the
Judge, "bring Joe into court on SUI
pcnar (thc Judge had his own way Of
pronouncing some words y" then adj
dressing the bride, who stood in the
foreground, and hung her head in con-
fusion, he added: 81 'spose you're the
plaintiff? Well, don't take on. In
nocencc and virtue will be protected by
this Court
This was the saddest blundcr of all.
The Judge was again made to see his
mistake, and would have been consid-
erably set back, had it not been for a
Corrective in the shape Of "forty drops
Of the c1ittcr,'' that was instantly ap-
piled.
In few moments all was ready in
right down earnest. The bridegroom
had arrived, full of joy. Ths bride in
gorgeous array' stood by his side.
The company pressed forward, and the
excitement was intense. The Judge
never looked so dignifcl in his life.
lie evidently felt every inch Judge.
"J-J-Joe B-B-owers," commenced
the man Of law, in that distressing
style Of speech with which he was in
variably afflicted when under the inAu-
ence Of the aforesaid "crittcr ;" "J-J
Joe B-B-owers, stand up. Have
y-you anything to say w-why sentence
of-.'
Stop! stop! stop, Judge!n shouted
the sheriff, from the back part Of the
room-"you are not going to hang the
man, but marry i'm %
The Judge drew long breath, and
winked rapidly, but stood his ground
we'll. Recovering himself, he pro-
eeeded
"J-Joe B Blowers, do y-you take
Nancy u-Elarkins for y your wife-so
h-e-help y-y ou-."
This was an intolerable effort, and