Meigs County telegraph. [volume] (Pomeroy [Ohio]) 1848-1859, 1859-10-04
Tit-Nits.


afterward.
@-''Don't harrow up my feelings" as
the worm said when the plow was passing
over him.
ES"What an uLgr"teful return!" said
defeated candidate. when count of his
votes proved him to be in the minority.
EFlt is we'll known that the philoso-
pher Thales believed water to be the first
principle. Query--Was Thales milk
man?
EH-Durng the late severe weather a
cow is said to have caught such cold
that she has yielded nothing but ice cream
ever since.
EY-A Western editor thinks Hiram
Powers, the sculptor, is a swindler, be-
cause he chiselied an unfortunate Greek
girl out of block of marble.
EY Susan was desirous of purchasing
watch. The maker showed her beau
tiful one, remarking that it went thirty-s six
hours. "In one day." asked Susan.
~O One may clearly infer that Dryden
was in favor of mint juleps, from a remark
he made: "Straws," said he, "may be
made the instruments of happiness"
E Singular how pious new clothes
make some people. For whole month
after the Misses Flirts got new mantillas,
they were at church three times day.
~A loving husband recently tele-
graphed to his wife as follows: "What
have you for dinner. and how is the baby?"
The answer came back, "Pork, has the
measels."
EYA lawyer on his death bed willed
all his property to lunatic asylum, sta
ting as his reason for so doing, that he
wished his property to return to the libe-
raj class Of people who had patronized
him.
ESA lawyer engaged in case before
Jud ge Peters, tormented a witness so
much with questions, that the poor fellow
at last cried out for water. "There," said
the Judge, II thought you'd pump him
dry"
~"Doctor, said a man to physi-
clan, "my daughter had ft this morning,
and continued for half an hour without
knowledge" "Oh," replied the doctor.
"never mind that; many people continue
so all their lives!'
AN IRISH ADvERT1sEMENT--A reward
of IS is offered for the apprehension of
Patrick O'Flahery, who last week stole
horse who had on a pair of corduroy
breeches with blue eyes, and smokes a
ehort pipe; much given to squirting, and
likewise his shoes let down at the heel.
gA young man once fell in love with
an heiress, and the passion being returned
it only wanted the consent of the parents
10 make him happy. At length meeting
the father, he asked for the daughters
hand.
"How much money can you commando"
asked the millionaire gruffly.
81 cannot command much" was the re-.
ply.
"What are your expectations?"
"Well, to tell the truth, / expect to run
away with your daughter and marry her,
ifyou don't give your consent" Con-
sent was given.
A COOP ANEcDoTE.- The following
conversation was overheard among the
volunteers of the Rio Graude," during
the war in Mexico:
Scene night. Two volunteers wrapped
IN their blankets, and half buried in the
mud
"Jim," says one, chow came you to
volunteer"
. "Why, Ben, you see had no wife to
care red cent for me, and so volun
tered and beside, like wor! Now tell
me, Ben, how you came to be out here?
"Why, the fact is. You see, Ive got a
wife, and SO l came out here because l
like peacer"
EEThe other day Dutchman in Gin
cinnati was severely .hrashed by his
"vrow' and VIII lie smaring under the in
Fiction, he complained TO the Mayor and
had his better half arrested for the outrage,
WneTeupou eh6 WINS uneu Three uOudrS anu
costs-but she not having the money, her
husband was called upon 10 "fork over"
Upon which he .opened his eyes in great
surprise" exclaiming, "Vot for I pay?
She vip mei' The statute was explained
to him, and lie paid-but he announced
that hereafter his wife might wolop him as
much as she pleased but he would never
again take steps to uphold the majesty
OF the law"
RATHER BoLD.--A gentleman en- his
way from Boston to Vermont, stopped at a
tavern where he met an inquisitive country
fellow who sail TO him:
"Where have you came from, if l may
be so bolu?"
mot bold at ALL came from Boston" "
"Where are you going, if | may be so
bold?"
IL am going to Vermont"
''Who are you going to see there, If
may be SO b,'ld?"
Il am going to see the widow NJ"
care you married man, If may be SO
bold?'
al nm, a tp;douar' -