The Grand Haven news. [volume] (Grand Haven, Mich.) 1858-18??, 1859-06-15
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.
- II is reported that several cases Of
yellow fever have appeared in New Or

sion on the heart of coquette, has taken
out patent for stone cutting.
= Said woman to an old maid, my
husband is not so good husband rs he
should be, but he is apowerful sight bet.
ter than none. ~.F
"A country editor having received
two gold dollars in advance for his paper,
says that he allows his child TO play with
the other children as usual
= He who marries beauty Is like a
buyer of cheap furniture--the varnish
that caught the eye will not endure the
fireside blaze.
A seaman who had escaped ship
wreck, was asked by lady how he felt
when the waves dashed over him. He
replied, "Wet madam; quite wet"
- Extensive preparations arc being
made to work the gold diggings in Ply
mouth, Vt. Whether it will pay remains
TO be seen.
Husband, | must have some change
to-day" "Well, stay at home and take
care of the children--that will be change
enough"
- Mexico, since its establishment as
a Republic, which is thirty-seyen years
ago, has had fifty-six Presidents, an aver
age of one and a half Presidents annually.
= 1t is said that a roasted onion bound
upon the wrists, on the pulse, will stop
the most inveterate tooth-ache in a few
minutes.
-Dobbs says that people who eli
dorse notes, are called "suretics," for this
reason, that in nine cases out of ten they
are "sure" to be called upon for the
money.
- Some graceless scamp says: at
is woman, and not her wrongs, that
should be redressedw That fellow ought
to suffer the torment of being invited out
to tea.
-" Isaac, my son, let the good book
be lamp unto thy path" "Mother,'
replied the thoughtless Isaac, 81 should
think that was making light of sacred
things"
= The young lady who refused to @
into the rifle manufactory because som,
of the guns had no 6reecheS, is spending
a few days at Sandy Hook, looking ou
for ship that is said to be in stays.
A person reading the funeral ser
vice at the grave, forgot the sex of the de
ceased, and asked one of the mourners, m
Emeralder, /" is this brother or sister 7
Neither replied Pat, "only cousin.
-" How beautiful said young lady
who rougcd, does the face of nature
look after shower" "Yes," replied 6
fair friend, "but you cannot say the same
of all faces"
-" How" said Mr. NJ. 10 Mr.. Y, "dC
you accomplish so much in so short q
timel Have YOU any particular plan 2
"I have" replied Mr.. Y. "Whcn
have anything to do / go and do it."
The Chicago Journal says that by
the term "strong-minded woman" i
means zone who spoils very respcctobl,
woman in vain endeavors TO become ,
very ordinary man.
-"My hair is eighteen years olde
than my whiskers," said lawyer, "anC
l cannot understand why my whisker
turn gray first"
Because you have worked so mucl
more with your jaws than with you
brains" replied Brown.
-"Vat you make dare" hastily in
quired a Dutchman of his daughter, VIII,
was being kissed very clamorously.
20, not much, just courting little
dats all, father"
"Ol dats all, ha! py tam, l though
YOU was fighting"
- There is as much wisdom in bear
ing with other peoples defects, as in be
ing sensible Of their good qualities; an
we should make the follies Of others rath
er warning and an instruction 20 our
selves, than a subject of mirth and mock
cry of those that commit them.
-" Words, words, words !" says Ham
let de paringly. But God preserve u
l. from the the destructive power OF words
There are words which can separate heart
sooner than sharp swords-these ar
words whose strings can remain in th
heart through whole life. Therefore
think always before YOU speak, and speal
in love, or be silent.
= Religion is not a perpetual mopin,
over good books. Religion is not evel
prayer, praise, or holy ordinances; thes
are necessary to religion-no man can b
, religious without them. But religion j
, mainly and chiefly the glorfying Of Go
amid the duties and trials of the world
the guiding of our course amid the ad
verse currents and minds Of temptation
: by the starlight Of duty and the com
pass Of divine truth--the bearing up man
fully, wisely, courageously, for the homo
5 Of Christ, our great leader in the contlic
of life. [Caird.