Arkansas true Democrat., 1859-06-01
Number 34.

I
 !iken unto to Methodis persuasion; fur they isa people that sturs up things with short suck ah They is death on camnmeetins and brooches up thar free-grase and harden to all. They sprinkles in phase uv baptisen an with thar shoutin, an schreemif and | fallin rum grase they gets obstropulous. and hungry with hevnis dv heart, fur the tex says:
 Give strong drink unto him that's red dy to perish, an wine unto them that be uv hevy hearts,
 Thar is my beluved an dyin trends ah, still another kind uv very strong drink, which is calt 'Old Jammaky' This is tolerable good flicker ah. You may drink it all day without gettin fuddled ah. But on the next day, my brethering and si stern .arter partakin uv this sperits. you feels as mean an sheepish as eff you had stole nut ton ah. So tits with the Prespateerns ah. They keeps thar Sundays in reelin thar Bibles an in sayin thar prayers ah. But when Mondy mornins cums they will cheet yeu in a hoss rwap an lie you outen coun- | tenance. They is howSumever, grate | people for edication an larnin, an spend a monStus sight uv mummy to cunvurt the l Heethuns an Ducth. But they alters has to get thar steem up before they busts bi!er | at home the text says:
 Give strong drink unto them is reiag | to perish an wine un-0 them that be uv heavy hearts,
 Agin, my dyin congregashun, thar k yet anGther kind uv drink which if it don do enny good 1t cant do enny harm. It is Ginger pop ah; an thar is a grate deel more water nor ginger in it ah. It is like the Camelite, fur thar is more water in them than enny thing else. They even carries | thar doctrins 50 fur as to reject glorius old Burbm ah, They my christian friends is fit subjects fur the track, missionary an | Bible scieties; fur no whar within the leds uv the Bible, can enny tex he found which tells you that you can enter into the gate uv the New JeruSalum on water alone, fur the tex says:
 Give strong drink unto him that is red dy to perish an wine unto those that be uv heyy hearte.'
 An yet my heerers thar is one powerful strong drink found in all stores, groceries. hotels, an 'pothecary shops. Itis Coneyac Brandy. It is made outen every thing an bears great price ah. Your worthy speaker my breetherng an sistern knows it well ah. 1t makes a man feel his keepins ah an when under its influence he is mity apt to let the eat out outen the bag ah, an confess to things that he oughtint to tell. This Ticker may be lkened to the Romin CatholickS; bcbaus when they gets with thar preest an under the lntluense uf spirets, they confesses thar sins. A Catholicl preest. my friends, is a grate man, as he keeps large nunneres full uv purity gals, an per tends to keep the keys uv Saint Peter, 1t may be supposed he is allers reddy, for the tex says;
 Give strong drink unto him that is red dy to perish an wine unto them that be heavy uv heart
 Thar is furthermore my beloved follerers uv the meak and loly, another monstrus mean drink, outlandish in name abomina. bic in smell, bitter in taste an horrible to drink nv. Itis Lager Beer ah This kind uv strong drink fuddles the idees upsets dijeStion, obtuScates the understanding an leeds the drinker theruf into the ways nv sin an uv death. It may be likened to the MormonS. They is wus than the Babblon- ish idolaturs that fell down an worshipt the goblin image which Nebicatsnezeur the king had sotup. Jo Smith was thar profit, and they believes that Brigum Young pos sesses immaculist powers. They has
 grate number uv wites, which is kontrary
 to dyvinc teechin fur one man that is a true
 christean can manage but one woman at time without keepin hisseif in bylen watur, fur the tex says:
 'Give strong drink unto him that is red
 dy to perish an wine unto them that be uv } hevy hearts
 An lastly, my dvin friends, thar is glo- rious strong drink ah, that will do yer hearts good It enlivens the feelins, opens the heart to deeds nv luv ah. You can
 drink 1t furever without makin beest uv yourself. It is old Peech Brandy the best uv all strong drinks. This sperts my christian heerers may be compaired to the old Hard Shell Baptists ah They never deviates from the old track No ofalin from grace among um. When they once makes
 the eddy, they keeps cleer uv the breakers nv whiskey tho quick sands uv Shampayne,
 the whirpools uv ,)immaky, the sholes uv
 Ginger pop, the waves uv Coneyack, an the siroccos uv Lager Beer. But they steers right unto the havin uv old Peech
 Brandy, an thar my dyin friends, the wins
 may houl, the lightnins flash, the thunders
 roll, an the yeth quake, the old Hard Shell Baptists will set thar megs. But it makes
 no difference, my brethering, when we get
 to heaven, how we get thar. The luvers uv
 Shampane takes the riStocratick car uv Pis-
 copalionism the discipels us whisky pre- ', furs the high pressur dubble biler steem
 bote uv methodism, the drinkers uv old I Jimmaky takes thar passage in the reglar q paclit uv PresbeterianiSms, the suckers uv a Gidger pop expects to wash thar way into
 life everlaStin in the cause nv Camelism an e whenever enny uv them gifts thar, you may then sing the Camels is coming v The swiggers nv old Coneyack expects to T make thar trip to Jerusalam Land in the t motley raft uv Romin Catholercism, while : the swilers uv Lager Beer is willen to go , to heaven in the flat boat nv Mormanism 9 ah. But the Baptists, the glorious old 9 Hard Shells, they is willing to enter the r gates uv heaven by faith alone, an they in. tends to travil thar in the old wagin uv Bap ' tlsm An 1 hopes my christians an dyin t friends to meet nanny uv your thar But
 l am afraid l shant ah, fur see that sum S IS reddy to leev an is gettin dry ah, an e the tex says:
 Civ strong drink unto him that is red a dy 10 perish, an wine unto those that be uv , heavy hearts,
 e Es- The editor of the Enterprise News, - discourses on the new and rather novel e subject of Spring:
 t Spring is now upon us in all > its beauty and fragrance.