The Bedford gazette. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1805-current, 1859-05-20


"Certainly, my son, here il is."
Youth retires with the knife and returns ia
about an hour.
"Pease sir, here's yO1r knif. ponnv's done
with it''
81 should think he was. Why what the
has he been doing with it thought he wau-
ted it 10 make a pen ?''
$50 he did but forgot 10 say II was pig
PEN"
Exit youth, a little in advance OF am OLD boot
~ Y. Dufchman.
HAERoW ING PoTAroEs.-Ii potatoes are har-
rowed Just before the shoots are coming throne n
the ground, the after labor of hoeing is greatly
reduced. The narrowing also breaks the crust
OF The soil, and the shoot can penetrate through
the ground more readily. It has also another
advantage II removes a portion OF the soil
IRON above the plant and thus the plant receiv-
es, during the first stages of its growth, when
the soil is cold, the more direct influence of the
sun.
~A Pixies Peak pilgrim passed through
Davenport, Iowa, the othe. day, encased in a
buckskln suit, with the seat of his breeches
painted red. He also had gun on his shoulder,
dog at his heels, and was following the rail-
| road rack. Imagine a dark night = express
| train IN the rear, with big reflector in front
of the engine, throwing the light on the sub
ject.
Fun FOR TYPo.-* of my existence give
me an ," said a printer to his sweetheart
She lmmdla:ely made - at him, and
planting her 70 between his two rs nearly
put a TO his existence. eSuch an outrage was
the OF Faust looking I + at her, "is probably
without in this ) OF country, and is good
subject for IT,"
G5-Dan Russell, the Union candidate for Au-
dltor IN Mississippi, being called on for a
speech, began thus
"FelIow citizens You have called on me
for few remarks. | have none to make.
have no prepared speech. Indeed, | am no
speaker. do not desire 10 be speaker"
only want to be an ''auditor."
GA learned young lady The other
evening astonished the company by asking
for the ''loan of a dimlnutive, arcentiferous
truncated cone, convex on It's summit, and semi
perforated with symmetrical inexntatons p
She wanted a thimble.
me ten cents 10 buy llle h... Ionr year old, 'gige
we've got one monkey in the horse no,, ,,
SAID the older brother. AoD'e now
low. Sa'u the little fel-
nou, was The reply.
some candy.'' Ouy 'ne monkey
Ills 0f0'ler ''shelled over,' immediately.
:, Ha EsULF.-Ihe man who did NOT ,b,,k
y 'TS'ectaoie TO bring up his children ,o do
"oLA' mas just heard from his three sons o.
= 'He'ii was driver on a canal another had
" td"eh u as vagrant and the other had
o0"e 10 pubic institution to learn tbe sbne-
making business under a keeper. ~
" "A School-boy, of about six Years of aoa
PProachIng the master with bold looL aai
eil-conhdent air, and the following dialngn,.
May be dismissed, sir ?''
:" m nat reason have you for making tbe re-
nest, Thomas 20 '"e
~ :. want TO take my woman ont sle,chioo
Twelve farmers. in Greenfield Mass how.
aue l~'1lo ~ pounds of maple sugar the present
ason. The total number of trSes tannsd ,nn
- anC' .nCu>ahd lour hundred and twenty-five.
'I Is : ie4'eSt y:eid per tree was four pounds,
- - '.ie smallest trife less than three pounds.
+ tree. P'1A'uS
u An honest son of Erin, green from big
FORMATIONS, put his head into LAWYERS
&c and asked the inmate
An what do you sell here q
DiockheadS, u replied the limb orthe law.
Cch, INN, 10 be sure said Pat. sit mus, bo
q trade, Tor see there is but one of then,
> NO man IN the nation is more ind.bfed
De people than | am, said an office hoIJsr
taken nave
NV VIE" sad tyTannical husband 10 his
iSeu ConsoFt, 81 wish you TO make me
OF false bosons." 81 should think.n reoIi
ne, 'fhat one bosom, as false as YOURS i,
Id be sufficient
; Booth, the tragediar, had his nose broken
years since. A LADY once said to him.
lie your acting, but cannot get over your
"No wonder" SAID be, 'lhe bridge is
INVERSION OF SEAmEN.-Rev. ]. B. Rip
pastor Of the Mariners Church, on Water
!, above Walnut, in his fifth annual re-
states that about 800 Seamen have been
'fted during the -Peansglvanian.
-'Are you looking for any one in par
+ :" as the rat said when he saw The cat
ling him.