The weekly pioneer and Democrat. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. Territory) 1855-1865, 1859-03-03

the unfortunate Guy 8oodluek, the iuiivi.
dual whose h0ppmeu was destroyed, and
whose every plan WAS frustrated by an ubi.
quitoas body called John JONES and
doubtless many Of our readers have met
with persons who seemed to have been born
to bad luck, judging from the grea. share d
the same which entered into all thar under
takings.
This reporter was, few evenings since,
one Of the auditors 10 bit Of personal his
tory, wherein the rclator proved himself
fully as unfortunate as old Guy himseli not
that he was annoyed by a particular John
Jones, but because Of some blund.r which
was sure TO attend everything be attempted
to do. We will give the substance OF bis
disclosures, using, as nearly az possible, his
own style OF expression promising, how
ever, that he was fresh from the country,
and was telling his troubles toA city friend
whom he called Jake
The fact is, Jake, must have been born
on Friday, for I'm the most onluckiest
man now living in old Pike. Well, the
facts is, amt had no luck since you left
thar. and how 10 the thunder I'm alive now
il more'n | eau tell. About the cend OF
December, the old man told me to take eight
bales OcOtton 10 Montgomery aud sell it,
an # | wanted 10 git any little traps fur
myself, TO do it. Wen, took the cotton to
, Montgomery, and sold it fur ten cents
around, ard twant two hours after that,
met DO Sparks, who had sold fourteen bales
Of wuss cotton than mine fur eleven cents
around-ef hc didn't be derned We'll, !
stayed around about Montgomery fur about
two days seem the sights, and q, last me
and Joe meets up with Ben Wescott. As
we was a goin' 10 leave for home next morn
iLg. We thought ~ how we'd have good
time that night, 50 We went 10 d rustyrant,
or whatever's the name OF it, to have u good
bait o suthin' to eat. A tall Teller, with a
sheet tied on in front, cum into the stall
where we was settn', and commenced a
bowin' and scrapln and GRIMM, and hand.
ell Ben programme. Ben handed it to
me, cause he couldn't read and made out
to read shad right at the top Of it,
Now, Jake, you needn't laugh, for never
sec shsd in all my life till then, and al
lers tuck up an dee that q shad we're fish
about the size Of pyereb, and know
could cat half dozen pysrch any time,
and rcckoned Ben and Joe could do the
same, and 50 just told the Teller with the
sheet on To bring along eighteen shad. and
have 'em fried brown at that Well, we
sot there and talked, and talked, and the
shad didn't come, till bimeby 10 started to
go and call the Teller, when he met three
niggers acomin', and each nigger had tray
with six shsd In II. Great God Jake
If the ia,iest Of them shad rasnt a foot long
Iwih ! may be dsrnsd Says |, look
here, stranger, what do you cali them ere ~
"Shad,' says be, and Gus ones, too
first OF the season, sir
What the tax on EN- ;" says /.
Three dollars apiece" says he.
Jake, was you ever kicked by mule II
you was, you mought know about how
felt. Says |, boys, III pay for these fish
but II l cat any Of en- ! hope they may
choke me = give the Teller fiity.four dol
lars outen the old man money, and a. was
agoin' out, he hollered at me and told me to
give him call next time | came back to
Montgomery. Jake, you know I'm not a
very stout man. but I'm reckoned some up
in Pike, an il he'd been thar instead Of 10
Montgomery, there's no tellin' how mought
have disliggered that face o his'n.
Well, left Ben and 10 Q scttin thar and
went to the Hotel and got into bed. That
night, somebody busted open the door, while
| was asleep and tuck my breeches and every
burned cent Of the old mans money. Thar
was Jake, with no money aud no brooches,
and what to do didn't know was afraid
to go home without the money; the old man
would have never got over abusin me.
sent for Ben Wcseott and borryed twenty
Ave dollars and pair of brcechss from him,
and tuck the iust boat for Mobile, and be
burned il Id stopt this side Of Texas If |
could helped it. When we got down to
Selmy. it was night, and went ashore while
they were takiu on cotton. Just "a tho boat
was a startin, a Teller steps up and ses he,
mistur. wish you'd give me half dollar for
two quarters. give him the half tuck the
quarters and the boat started. looked ut
the quarters a. soon as got into the cabin
of the boat, aud Jake. be dogonnd il they
wasn't both five dollar gold pieces didn't
say word to nobody, but reckon struck
line for my state room about rs fast as
anything you ever .ee, for fear some ne
would come and claim the money. Next
morning soon, went TO the bar and tuck
drink. by and by. Jake, they keep nifty
mean Ticker on the boat. drunk the whisky
and slapped down one ofmy gold pieces, and
told him had no smaller change. The fsller
looked at the money sharp and looked at me
sharper, and bimeby says he, sorter savage
Gus like.
Look here. stranger. where did YOU git
that =
Well. was afraid TO tell him how got
it. and SO says |, bsldly,'I got il in Mont
gomery.'
Well, its counterfeit, says he, it Amt
worth cuss
run my hand in my pocket aud tuck on,
,o,her gold piece and showed it to him, and
| wish BE- dern.d, Jake il they WASH both
counterfeit
|, WAS no usc talkin knowd WAS