The penny press. [volume] (Cincinnati [Ohio]) 1859-1860, 1859-10-13
HUMOROUS.

IL ~ IA OAtS ~ Ne
DBnC nConsumptives, who swallow the
cod liver theory, are dosc-ile creatures.
HeB- A man that boards riches and
enjoys them not, is similar to an ass that
carries gold and eats thistles G..
B@aFashion is the race of the rich to
get away from the poor, who follow as
fast as they can.
SGs The recent railroad slaughters
give additional significance to the word
car-nage!-Boston Post
H6nA hoary head or brown one, n
wrinkled face or smooth one, may either
of them conceal much wisdom or much
folly.
nea. "sally," said young gent, prepar-
ing to take q snooze, ''if any one calls,
tell them I'm gone." "Gone where, sir?'
"Gone to sleep"
Hea.A fellow not on good terms with
his boots had the impudence to remark
that he could sell them easily enough,
because they had been halfsoled once.
s@. A man who had been married
twice, to ladies both named Catharine,
advised his friends against taking dupli-
Hates. a.f4qEo
n@.1t is sad commentary upon the
course of instruction pursued in young
ladies' schools, that the graduates seldom
know how to decline an offer of mar
riage.
HE~"Are these pure canaries2'' asked
gentleman of bird.dealer with whom
he was negotiating for "gift for his fair "
eyes, sir" said the dealer confdentially {;
"I raised them ere birds from canary
seed u
9r"What shall we name our little
boy ?" said q young wife to her husband.
Call him Peter" "Oh, no! l never
knew anybody named Peter that could
earn his salt" 'Well, then, call him
Saltpeter"
H&nA fellow seven feet high passed
through Charleston on his way to Cali
fornia. On being asked why he ventllred
on so hazardous journey, he replied,
"They don't want me any longer down
in Maine"
aea. Tom and Joe were talking over
their travels, when Tom asked his chum,
"Were you ever in Greece ?"
mo" replied Joe shut l once fell
into laundering big tub of soapl"
8ea. "John," said a cockney solicitor to
his son, 81 see you'll never do for an attor.
ney; you have no henergy" "Skuse me,
father" replied John, "what | want is
some of your chickenry." .te
s6-'T say, friend, your horse is little
contrary, is he nOt?'
"No Stree" 4
"What makes him stop, then p
"Oh, he's 'fraid somebodyll say whoa
and he shan't hear it." a., -
RsB"'Dear Aunt Mary, what shall buy
you for birthday present-what would
you like best?' Aunt Mary, who was
just thirty-fve, with quiet sigh to her
self-"What would like best? / know
very well what | should like best;
should like an Odd Fellows Offering"
sas A very small pattern of man
lately solicited the hand of fair, buxom
girl. ooh, nc" said the lady, III cant
think of it for moment The fact is,
Tommy, you are leetle too big to be put
in a cradle, and little too small to be
Tut in bed. .l.t
s@A good picture in Punch is John
I.eech's Of an ample crinolined young
lady, seated in the Park her skirts ex.
tending large distance on either
side. The following dialogue takes place:
Chair Proprietor-8Would you please to
pay for the cheers, num- Lady-"How
muchY Chair Proprietor-"Well, mum,
how many might you be sittin' on n
a6s""My son." said doting father, who
Was about taking his son into busin hess,
what shall be the style of the new fir m?''
"Well, governor" said the one -and-twenty
youth, looking up to find an answer, II
don't know; but suppose we have it John
III. Samplin IL Father The old gentle.
man was struck with the originality Of
the idea, but could not adopt it. r
seA. Sammy, you little whelp, didn't |
tell you to let that cats tail aloneY said
an angry father to his son, who was en-
deavoring to elongate a cats narrative
"Well, old cock, what il you did? It's
old Browns cat, and I'll yank thunde,
out of it if please |" roo
A REToRT DmECT.-A clergyman from
neighboring town and one Of his elderly
parishioners were walking home from
church one icy day last winter, when the
old gentlman slipped and fell fat on his
back. The minister looking at him 6
moment and being assured he was moi
much hurt, said to him, "Friend, sin ner,
stand on slippery places" The old
gentleman looked up, as il to assure
himself of the fact and said, 81 see they
4 4 "a ~