The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1859-12-07
MISCELLANEOUS.
Joy In the House OF Ward.

same blessins. Ime rejuvinatid I've found
the immortal waters Of yooth, so to speek,
& am a. timber and frisky as a 2 YER old
steer, & in the futur them boys as sez Ego
up old bawlcd hed'' to me, vii do 80 at the
Peril of ther hazard Individually. line
powerful happy. Heaps Of joy has de-
scended upon me to oncet, & I feel like a
bran new man. Sometimes arsk myself
rs it not drcam:'' & sumthin within
myself seq it air; but when I look at the
sweet littel creetcrs know it is . realerty
2 realerties, I may say-& feel CAV
There's considerbul humen natur in a man
arter all
I returned from the sumer campane with
my unparaleld show Of wax works and
livin wild Beests of Pray in the erly part
of this munth. The pepel of Baldnsyille
met me cordully, and immcjitly commenst
restin myself with my famerly.
The other mite while was down to the
tavurn tostin my shins agin the bar room
fire, & amuzin the krowd with sum of nv
adventurs, who shood cum in bare hedcd l.
terrably excited but Bill Stokes, who seq,
sez he,
"Old Ward; there's CRATE doins up to
yure house."
Sez I, civilian, how 80 5"
Sez he, Bust my gizzard, but it's crate
doins," 4 then he larfed as If he'd xiii his
self
Sez ], risin and putin on austeer look.
"William, l woodunt be fool if I had
common cents"
But he KEEP on larfin till he was black in
the face, when he fell over on the bunk
WHARF the hostler sleeps, and in a still smaI
voice sed, Twins ~ I ashure WI gents
that the grass didn't grow under nv feet
on my way home, and was foil red by a
enthoosiastick throng Of my fellur- -sitizuns,
who hurrarcd for Old Ward at the top ov
thare voises. found the house chock full
ov pepel. Thare was Mis- Squire Baxter
and her 3 grown up dsrters, lawyer Perkin-
ses wife, Taberthy Ripley, young Eben Par
sons, Deakun Simmons folks, the skool.
marster, DOctur Jordin ctsettery, ctsettcry.
Mis- Ward was in the west room, which
jines the kitchin. Mis- Squire Baxter was
mixin suthin in dipper before the kitchin
fire, and small army Of femail wimin ware
rushin wildly round the house with botels
Of camtire, peaces Of fannil, &c. I never
seed sich hubbub in my natral born dase.
| Good sta in the west room only minnit,
so strung up was my feelins, so rusht out,
and seezed my dubbil barrild gun.
"What upon airth ales the man?" sez
Tabertha Ripley. "Sakes alive, what air
you doin?" & she grabbed me by the coat
tales. "W hats the matter with you ?" she
continnercd.
twins, marm," seq |, Twins -
81 know it," sez she, cuverin her Ease
with her spurn.
WALL" seq I, "that's what's the matter
with me ~
, WAL, put down that are gun, yu pesky
old fool" sez she.
mo, marm," sez I, this is a nashunal
day. The glory of this here day isn't con-
fined to Baldinsville by darn site. On
yonder wood-shed," continnered I, drawin
myself up to my full hite and speakin in .
show actin voisc, twill I fire Nashunal ga
loott' sayin which l tared myself from
her grasp and rusht to the top of the shed
WHARF l blazd ava until Squire Baxter's
hired man and my sun Artemus Junior cum
and TUX me down by name forsc.
On returning to the Kitchin found quite
a lot Of peepel seeted be4 the fire, a talkin
the event over. They 4thwith made room
for me & sot down.
Quite an episode" said Doctur Jordin,
litin his pipe with a red hot coal.
, Yes sed |, 20 eppisodcs waing about
a perfeck coop dc tat" said the skool-
master.
"E pluribus unum, in proprietor person.
n.y. sed |, thinkin Ide let him know un-
derstood furrin langwidges rs well as he
did if wusunt a skoolmastcr.
ut is momentus event.. sed yunp Eben
Parsons, who has been 2 quarters to the
akademy.
II never heard twins called by that name
afore." sed ], "but l spose its all right"
I'VE shall soon have Wards enuff," sed
the editor Of the Baldinsville Bugls Of Lib
erty, who was lookin over bundle Of ex-
change papers in the corner, ''to apply to
the legislator for a city charter"
"Good for yu, old man - sed I, "givc that
air conspikious place in the next Buqle."
"How very redicklus," sed pretty Susan
Fletcher, coverin her Ease with her nittin
work, L larfn like all possest.
"Wall, for my part" said Jane Maria
Peasely, who is the crossest old made in
the world, II think yu all act like pack Of
big FOOLS"
Sec I, "Mis Peaselcy, air you parent ?"
Sez she, mo, l ain't!
SEE |, mis- Peasely, yu never will be 7"
Shelcft.
We sot thare talkin & larfin until ':the
switchin in hour of mite when grave Yards
& Josts troop 4th," as old Bill Shakespirc
aptlee observes in his dramy Of John Shep.
pard, Esq. or the Moral House Breaker,
when he broke up and disbursed.
Muther & Children air doin well: E. as
Resolushuns air the order of the day will
feel oblecged If yule insurt the folleiin-
Whereas, two Eppisodes has happind up to
the undersined's house, which is Twins
and whereas, I like this stile, said Twins
bein of the male perswashun & both boys;
there4 Be it
Reso'ced, That to them nabers who did
the fair thing by SADIE Eppisodcs, my hart
felt thanks IS doc.
Resolrea, That do most hartily thank
Enjine Kompany No. II, who, under the
imprcshun frum the fuss at my house on
that hauspishus mite that thare was kon-
fagrashun goin on, kun galyiantly to the
spot, but kindly refraned frum squirtin.
Resolued, That frum the Bottom of my
Sole do thank the Baldinsvillc brass band
fur givin up the idey of Sarah-nadin me,
both on that CRATE mite and sinse
Resslped, That my thanks is doc several
members Of the Baldinsville mectin house,
who fur 8 hole dase haint kalled me sinful
skoffer or intreeted me to mend my wickid
vase and jine sade msctin house t. oncet.
ResOlred, That my Buzzum teams with
many meny kind emoshuns lords the foller.
in individeuls, to whit namely-Mis Square
Baxter, who generously refused to take
sent fur bottel of camfre; lawyer Per.
kinses wife who writ sum vursis on tho Ep.
pisodes the Editor Of the Baldinsville
uScb 1 ..
riously disturbed the Eppisodes by his out
rajus screetchins and kickins up; Mis- Hi.
rum Doelittle who kindly furnisht sum cold