Worcester daily spy. [volume] (Worcester [Mass.]) 1850-1888, 1859-05-21
0Norttsttr 1alln SIN.
WRITTEN FOR THE MASSACHUSETTS SPY.
10. OF NIxON's.

reading, or projecting plans for the enlarge
grounds, with her and Fred hanging over my
table, until the heat drove us to the seaside.
Even then, chose the least frequented place 1
could find, our recent bereavement being my
ostensibe reason, but, in reality, because l
would not subject my Marion to the stare and
comment of the idle loungers of a more fash
ionable location. When she was my wife, l
might do it-not before.
"She was then eighteen, and it was enough
that her beauty satisfied my exacting heart.
More than once, during that summer, was
tempted to avow my love for her; but l
promptly put down the impulse. had laid
my plans for the future had melted out the
bounds Of her being and my own, and any
thing which led to a selfbetrayal of my plans
was weakness unwort by of me. But this
silence cost me something. If L had a strong
will, had also strong passions, and there were
times when 1 dared not trust myself alone
with her, lest | should betray myself
81 could control my tongue, but not my
longing to look upon her face and hear her
voice; and after | returned to Harvard, made
many hurried visit home, my alterations in
the house affording sufficient excuse for my
presence. l seldom gave them any intimation
ofmy coming, it was SO pleasant to come upon
them suddenly, and meet Fred's joyous well
come, and mark the glad surprise in the eyes
of Marion.
Gone Summer evening arrived late in the
town, and, contrary to my usual custom, de-
cided to walk from the railway station to my
own house. took short cut across the
fields and when within my own grounds, Just
at the entrance OF a long fir-tree walk, from
whence | could command a view of the house
and lawn, l sat down on a rustic seat to stndy
the effect of my Improvements. | think the few
moments sat there were the happest of my
hitherto untroubed life | had been chosen
valedictorian of my class; | had wealth suf-
ticient for all my wants; brother with whom
my tastldlous pride could find no fault, and
within those walls was Marion. We pity him
to whom God said Thou fool, this night thy
soul shall be required Of thee but who knows
how much mercy as well as justice there was
in the stroke"
He paused, and suddenly covered his face
with his hands and l was glad, for it is a fear
81 heard footsteps" he resumed, ''and pre-
sently voices, and | sat still, for l knew that
Fred and Marion were coming down the fir
tree walk. lie was speaking-that boy that
child, as deemed him-speaking with all the
imprisoned fervor of man; and of what.
think you? OF his love for her He acas
man; | felt it at that moment, and my first
impulse was to spring to my feet and strike
him down such. But her voice arrested
,,,.lI IL Hall Il.
ing with preternaturally sharpened senses |
could not catch all she said. She was Weep
ing, and her voice was always low-but,
enough she loved him and | flor they spoke
of mel was supposed to be devoted to ambi-
tion--buried in my studies, self.centered and
selfsufficing l had heard enough and drag
ged myself away.
"Men talk of studying themselves. It's all
nonsense-lt least, with such natures as NINE
Sefknowledge comes by shocks--lightnng
glmpses, which may blast or bless just as
man has wisdom to profit by them. | saw
myself that night-my miserable folly and
egotism, for the first time, as | stood stripped
and blasted amid the ruins Of my projected
Paradise Sometimes | was tempted to rush
into the house and taunt them with their du-
plicity; but the memory of my mothers dy
ing charge fettered my steps-moreover what
right had | to arrogate to myself a love | new
err stopped to win
81 sought no shelter that night for it was all
l could do to breathe in the open air, but be-
fore morning had decided on my course. /
walked into my house unseen by any, went to
my room-carefuy removed all removable
traces of the last nights conflict and descend
ed to the breakfast room. was pale as death
i knew but had compelled myself to assume
an outward composure which | trusted would
stand the test of their scrutiny and the confess
sion, which, from my knowledge Of them both,
L knew must come.
Gas | expected, they gave me warm well
come but there were few questions asked as to
my sudden arrival, and these were the easier
parred because it had never been my way
to speak very freely of myself or my DIRE S.
Had it been otherwise, Fred was too much alb
sorbed in his own happiness to be curious
about others, but more than once, l caught
Marion's eyes fixed on me with strange trou-
bIed look-which-if | had only read Alright
if had not been deaf and blind to all but my
own agony, neither dead mother or living
brother should have divided us
"But | dared not look at her l scarcely
saw her face or heard Freds words when he
led her before me and avowed their love and
asked my sanction, as the only relation they
had on earth.
"For an instant, fatered, but the memory
of our mother and my self-scorn goaded me to
my task 1t was done and before night | was
back in my rooms at Cambridge. A long ILL
ness followed, but even in the violence of the
first attack, | had self-control sufficient to
dictate letter to them, charging them not to
delay teir marriage, which was to be imme
date, for my illness, and that on no account
were they to attempt to see me, at least, until
all danger was past. They obeyed, and it was
not until fear had reduced my physical strength