The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1859-01-12

Hoops aud their wearers.
An Englishman has lately written a
pamphlet entitled Dangers of Crino-
line," in which he AYERS that this fash.
ion is making lamentable inroads into
the health, morals, and happiness of his
fair countrywomen. The pamphlet
says:
"Ths iSunspy Woman.-See there
is a short. stumpy woman, of about
forty-6ve. coming down the street.
What does she look like in the distance /?
Why. her body resembles pin cushion,
and her head pin stuck in or ater
butt, with the handle ef broom peep
ing out at the top, or an animated hum
ming top, or locomotive Goblin or an
inflated sack tied in knot at the mouth,
or anything. in fact, that can be more
ludicrous than another Mark | the
lady draws near she evidently admires
herself, and looks downward with an air
of supreme satisfaction. There goes
the precious crinoline-swing. swing,
swob, swob, first back wards, then for
wards. then round about, then up and
down, finally ends with a tumble Of all
the movements. A set of boys see my
lady coming, and begin to scent fun
'Crackey, amt she a full blown 'un
Tom ? What time does the balloon 90
up" Who's your cooper ? and sew
eral other impertiuent queries are ad.
dressed by these wicked little bows to
the inflated female. Onward she goes
somewhat crest fallen, it is true, but not
quite converted, and fatters herself
with the contemplation Of the sensation
she will cause when she reaches IT, pur-
lieus of the West End.
"7he Tall Woman. look in the
opposite direction, and see that tall lad y
sailing along in all the amplitude Of
skirt. What does she look like ? A
Acknowledgment on stills; q weeping
willow grated on to a poplar; the
monument stuck into the dome of St.
Paul's. with the dome downwards or
any other bizarre conglommeration you
can imagine. Onward she comes,
against a violent gust of wind. See how
she rocks to and fro. like vessel in a
storm, keeping her perpendicular posi-
ton with the greatest difficulty, and
grasping hold of the ratings as she
passes along, to steady herself on her
feet.
"7he Fat Woman. there
comes very short lady, to whom ma
ture has been extremely kind in award
ing an amplitude of figure seldom seen.
One would think that this lady would
be satisfied with the amount of bulk
that had been apportioned her. But
no such thing; with the waywardness
and blindness which the victims of fash.
ion are guilty of, she believes that ad.
ding to the extent of corporal outline
adds charm to the already liberal pos
session boasted Of.
"Ihe Thin Woman.-And now there
/ fjuss Passea a tnIn, very thin lady,
somewhat maliciously called 'scraggy,
without the slightest pretension to fig
ure, and no development worth speaking
of. Be good enough to observe that
the lady is, for purposes best known to
herself, holding her dress several inches
from the ground, and as she does so,
displays foot and something more oi
a pair of slender. shapeless legs, that
contrast most oddly and picturesquely
with the surrounding extent of skirt"
We must make one moro extract from
this pamphlet, begging him who has
had occasion to pass upon the street 8
bevy of fashionable women, or who has
been hemmed in by hoops at lecture.
room, to enjoy the portraiture, for such
one can appreciate the drawing. The
indignant Englishman-who evidently,
some day, has been crowded into the
gutter by sweeping crinoline-says:
eff we walk along the public high
way, we are frequently compelled tc
stand on each side, or to step into the
road. to permit it to pass if we enter
a church, We find it monopolizing the
greater part of the pew if we turn
round the corner Of the street, it rushes
against us and nearly knocks us off oul
equilibrium if we ascend flight o.
stairs, it descends like an avalanche up
on us. SO that We are compelled either
to retreat into the landing or fall back
wards upon the ma. if we visit the
theater, it surges before, behind, and OF
either side of us, so that we cannot SEE
or hear anything of what is performing
on the stage. and are we'll nigh suffoca
ted into the bargain.
"Old women, trembling on the verge
of the grave. enshrine their decrepi
bones within it: young children, no
long released from the trammels o
swaddling clothes, jerk their little form
about in it ugly women. pretty women
dark women, fair women, are all unde
the diabolical influence of crinoline. -
Cleveland Herald.
EE could write down twenty case
wherein l wished God had done other
wise than he did; but which now see
had l had nay own will. would have LEI
to extensive mischief. The life Of
| 1;co ne ~oroJovoo II.