The Lambertville press. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1858-1???, 1859-11-23
Mr.. Browns Mishaps.

Mr.. Eliphalet Brown was a bachelor
of IS, or thereabouts !; one of those
men who seem born to pass through
the world alone. Save this peculiar
s ity, there was nothing to distinguish
/. Mr.. Brown from the multitude of
other Browns who are born, grow up
and die in this world of ours. 1t
CHANGED that Mr.. Brown had occasion
to visit town some fifty miles distant
on matters of business It was his
first visit to the place and he proposed
stopping for day, in order to give
himself an opportunity to look about.
Walking leisurely across the street he
was at once accosted by child, who
ran up to him, exclaiming-
Father, I want you to buy me
some candy"
"Father !" Was it possible that
he, bachelor was addressed by that
title ? He could not believe it !
"Who were you speaking to my
dear?" he inquired of the little girl.
~ spoke to you, father" said the
little one, surprised.
REALLY" thought Mr.. Brown, " this
is embarrassing I am not your father,
my DEAR" he said. "What is your
name 20
The child laughed heartily, evidently
thinking it good joke. "What a
funny father you are," she said, but
amt you going to buy me some can
dy ?"
eyes, yes; Til buy pound if you
don't call me father any more" said
Mr.. Brown, nervously.
The little girl clapped her hands
with delight. The promise was all
she remembered. Mr. B. proceeded to
confectionery store where he actual
ly bought pound Of candy, which he
placed in the hands of the little girl.
In coming out Of the store. they en-
countered the girls mother.
ooh, mother" said the little girl,
"just see how much candy father
bought me-"
"You shouldn't have bought her
so much at time, Mr.. JONES'" said
the lady, q I am afraid she will make
herself sick. But how did you happen
to get home so quick ? / did not ex-
pect you till night"
"Jones-I-madam," said the en-
barrassed Mr.. Brown, i" it's all mis-
take I amt Jones at all. 1t isn't
my name I am Eliphalet Brown of
W, and this is the first time
I ever came to this city"
Good Heavens ! Mr.. Jones, what
has put this silly tale in your head ?
You have concluded to change your
name, have you? Perhaps it is your
intention to change your wife 2"
Mrs. Jones' tone was defiant, and
this only tended to increase Mr.. Browns
embarrassment.
"I haven't any wife, madam " /
never had any. On my word as a
gentleman, I never married"
"And do you intend to palm this
tale off upon me ?" said Mrs. Jones,
with excitement, !" If you are not mar
ried, | would like to know who am ?"
"I have no doubt you are most
respectable lady" said Mr.. Brown,
"and I conjecture, from what you
have said, that your name is Jones,
but mine is Brown, and always was"
Melinda" said her mother, sud-
denly taking the child by the hand,
and leading her up to Mr.. Brown,
Melinda, who is this gentleman ?"
"Why, that's father" was the childs
Immediate reply, as she confidently
placed her hands in his.
"You hear that, Mr.. Jones, do you ?
You hear what that innocent child
says, and yet you have the unblushing
impudence to deny that you are my
husband
The voice of Nature speaking thro'
the child, should overwhelm you, I'd
like to know if you are not her father,
why are you buying candy for her ?
| would like to have you answer that.
But I presume you never saw her in
! your life
"I never did. On my honor, l new
er did. I told her | would give her
the candy, if she would not call me "a
Their any more"
"You did, did you Bribing your
own child not to call you father! Oh,
Mr. Jones, this is Infamous Do you
intend to desert me, sir, and leave me
iii the cold charities of the woodland
is this your first step 2"
Mrs. Jones was so overcome, that,
without any warning, she fell back
upon the sidewalk in fainting fit.
Instantly number Of persons ran to
her assistance.
Mr.. Jones, is your wife subject to
fainting in this way?" asked the first
conner of Mr.. Brown.
II don't know. She isn't my wife
I don't know anything about her, !"
sfammered Mr. Brown.