Staunton vindicator and general advertiser. (Staunton, Augusta County, Va.) 1858-1860, 1859-11-18

Augustus Headlong had been engaged
for about four hours in preparing a series
of those Miscellaneous Returns the pc
rusal of which affords such exquisite salts
faction to Mr.. Joseph Hume, Col. Sibthorb
and others; and, considering the state o
his mind. had not made them much more
unintelligible than when they were finally
signed by the joint secretaries and present
ed to the House Of Commons, when one @
the of6ce-mcssengers entered the room II
which he worked and laid two letters be-
fore him. The handwriting Of each wa.
unknown to him. but conscience whispered
where they came from. Misrepresentation
of the larger envelope was Of manly and
as it we're tatesmanlike character; tina
Of the smaller had al the acute angles ane
sweeping finals which distinguish female
caligraphy. The former was sealed with I
cipher and crest-"C. Band mailed
hand grasping dagger 1.-THE latter with I
French wafer. representing the dove re-
turning to the ark.
This is from the old governor" sale
Augustus, as he wistfully eyed the letters
"and the other -ah-that's puzzler..
wonder now He did not finish the sen
tence.
There is always short way of settling
the question which everybody asks wher
they turn the letter of an unknown cores
pendent over and over, and that is-wha
no one ever does--by opening it at once
Augustus, in like manner, hesitated fol
some minutes to satisfy his curiosity
Atlength lie summoned up resolution, and
broke the seal Of No. l. It ran thus
Clyde Park Gardens. April 9th.
DEAR SIR,
"A communication has this morning been
made to me which. I am free to confess, has
in some degree surprised me. accustomed
as am to the rapid phases by which the
progress of events in modern times is mark
ed. But while admit my surprise, am
BY no means reluctant to express the salts
faction I experienced at finding that you
contemplate an alliance, offensive and de-
fensive' (these last words had been scored
out, but were still legible, with my fami-
~. TO negotiate upon paper for the hand
Of my daughter, however consopant to dip.
lematic usage, is not the cou' Sc my feeling:
prompt me to follow. prefer that ou1
communications should be yiva voce, and, i
you are not otherwise engaged, shall be hap
py to zee you at dinner this evening, at I
quarter to seven, when We can unreserved
ly enter into the subject.
II am, dear sir, faithfully yours,
CHARLES BEDD1NGroN."
That's a sumner said Augustus, whe1
he had got safely through the wordy com
munication supon my life I had no ide
Ia hit any Of 'em 50 hard. Quite out Q
my usual line I should like to know
which he means me to have. This sup
pose-how it smells Of Patchouli-wiN ex
plain.
And he carefully disengaged the fgura
tive wafer from No. g It was dated lik
tho first, but opened with little more fem
mime emphasis:
:sMY DEAR SIR, III
"a cherished daughter-need say acho
has reueoled to mothers tender ear tn
secret Of preailectiom which she has strug
gled in vain to conceal after night c
sleepless anniety. I am no friend to ras
engagements, but, believing you to be tn
soul Of honor-for as such you were intro
duced to our roof--I obey maternal inapuls
and anticipate sArinhing girls feeling
by sanctioning the addresses which 20
have paid More it is unnecessary for IN
to observe than I am,
with perfect truth,
''Yolrs sincerely,
CAROLINE r. BEDD1NaroN.
"P. S.-Mr. Beddington, hear, ha
expressed bis wish to see you at dinner to
day You will find us quite en- tansilie, $
come as early as you please"
Upon my soulp' observed the JUNO
clerk, amazedly, lit never rains butitp ours
What the dev--I mustn't swear, though
what the duce shall I do? Here are fathe
and mother both in one story; both wantin
to have ME for a son-in law. wish to Hea
ven they had named the girl Need l sa
who? -Ycs, that's precisely what yo
ought to have said | asked 'em all, an
be hanged if I know who yes I think
was Che one on the tigers back. That wa
Matilda, wasn't it?-But then there wa
the fair haired one under the rich-cloth-
mean in that striped room-I am sure sh
didn't say NO. And then the old DO
throws in, IF you are not otherwise engo
ged.' I'm afraid I am, though don't kno
who to Upon my life / feel very like
man who has committed bigamy Ho
happy could | be with either Quite Ma
chcath sensation"
eff you please, SIR said the of6ce-mes
senger, reappearing, "the young man. ST,
the page, who brought down them two lei
tiers. in a-waitin' outside. He said he wa
to kerry beck an answer"
"Oh, waiting, is he? Just tell him t
sit down for FIVE minutes" And when til
man was gone Awkward, this; I hardl
know what to say. Fancy I'm in for it,
Perhaps after all, only did pop to one. :
Never can remember anything when | to
champagne with whisky l shall soon fin
out by the girls manner; 50, here goes
sentimental epistle-' heartfelt gratitude
your daughters charms sense Of unwor
thiness' = beyond my own expectations
ring the changes on that sort Of thing; d
for 'em both"
Like horseman who charges brook i
the hope Of landing Somewhere, Augusta
Headlong dashed at the adventure wrot
off two notes accepted the invitation proper
/ ly; and further work being out of the ques
ton for that day, locked up his desk an
left the miscellaneous Accounts" to prov
themselves, while he took turn out Of door
to collect his thoughts and prepare for til