davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1859-06-18
HOW BIG DARKEY JAKE WAS CURED OF
BUTTING

SOME Years since l was employed as ware
house clerk in large shipping house in New
Orleans, and while in that capacity, the follow
ing funny scene occurred -
One day vessel came in, consigned to the
house, having on board large lot of cheese from
New-fork. During the voyage some of them
became damaged by bilge water, the ship having
proved leaky, consequently the owners refused
to receive them; they were therefore sent TO the
consignees of the ship, to be slowed until the
case could be adjusted. | discovered, a few
days afterwards, that-as to perfume-they
were decidedly too fragrant to remain in the
warehouse in the middle of June, and reported
the same to my employers, from whom receiv-
ed orders to have them overhauled, and send all
that were passable to Beard & Calhoun's auction
mart, (then in the old Camp street Theater,) to
be disposed of for the benefit of the underwriters,
and the rest to the swamp. | got gang of
black boys to work on them; and when they
stirred em up, "Be the bones of moll Kelley s
quart pot. but the smell was Elegant entirely
l kept respectable distance, believe me, for
STRONG niggers and STRONG cheese, on hot
June day, just bangs all common essences-in-
cluding a certain "varmint' I've read about.
Presently the boys turned out an immense fel-
low, about three feet six inches across the
stump" from which the box had rotted. In the
center, q space about ten inches was very much
decayed, and appeared to be about the consis-
tency of mush, of blush tint, which was caus-
ed by the bilge water. The boys had just set it
up on its edge, on bale of gunny- bags, when i
noticed over the way big darkey (then on sale)
from Charleston, S. c., who was notorious for
his butting propensities; having given most OF
the niggers in that vicinity taste of his quality
in that line. / had seen him and another fellow,
the night previous, practising they would stand
one on each side of hydrant some ten yards
distant, and run at each other with their heads
lowered, and clappng their hands on the
hydrant, they would but like veteran rams. A
thought struck me that might cure him of his
Dragging and butting and have some fun also
SO l told the boys to keep dark, and called
Old Jake" over.
"They tell me you are great fellow for butt.
ing, JakeP"
81 is some, massa,-dats fac. / done butt
de wool 'tirely orf of old Petes head last night
and Massa Nichols was giving to glib me goss
/ kin jiss bang de head orf any niger in thes,
parta, myself kinP"
swell, jake I've got little job in that lint
for you, when you haven't anything else TO do.
"Pse on han for all dem kin ob jobs, myself
lis"
"Wellcyou see that large cheese bach
thereP"
81 does dat. does myself"
snow, if you can butt dent in it, you shal
have it."
"Golly. massa! you're foolin dis nigger?"
"No, Tn not, Jake,-just try me-"
"Wot! you glib me de hull of dat ar cheese
if butt dent in ump"
y "Yes."
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1859-06-18

pie, our advancing years lead us. Shall all this
pass us as the breeze passes the wheat-hed,
leaving it standing and smiling as beforel Shall
we not have gained some stcadness some state
illness of character some other reverence than
for ourselves, some other dependence? Shall
the old frivoity still cleave in us-the garb of
childhood on the frame of man-the old love
and pursuit Of pleasure-the old, often van
quished, sclf-confdenceP Shall we be growing
into years with all the frippery of childhood
lingering about our hearts, our manners, our
hopes, our attainments? Not so. Middle life
is for better things; for the casting off of the
childish and unworthy, and the putting on of
the whole man-even Of the man after Christ
Saddest of all sad sights is it to sec the proba-
ton of a human soul wearing towards its noon,
while no deepening tinge to character proclaims
the ripening within, while all things say how
closely and wilfully still it clings to its grosser
and meaner delights Old age is not of neces-
sity beautiful. 'All do not know the secret of
the art of growing old gracefully. 1t is an art
which middle life works at and perfects. The
secret lies back there. Serene and waiting and
beloved age is the result of honorable and vir-
tuous middle life and age, querulous, exactng,
burdensome to itself and others, is the product
OF selfish, frivolous middle life.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1859-06-18
MIDDLE LIFE.

1t is perhaps not without some shade of sad
ness that one comes to rank himself in middle
life. Slowly it dawns upon him, reluctantly he
admits it. 1t is no sense of growing old that
teaches him, no tagging of the powers or the
spirits, not even the taunt of that opprobrious
epithets nowadays tlippantly flung at middle
liie-for the Jopy is not the old, but the mid
dle-aged man but one finds that, with the full
er flesh, and frmer muscle, and stronger tread,
and truer poise of his faculties-while yet his
sympathies are all young and fresh, while yet
he waits to follow where the older and the wis
er lead-the world about him waits and looks
to him-pushes him forward where he hestates,
until he discovers, that no longer looked upon
as young, he must take his place in the toiling
and exposed van, and hew the way in which
other steps shall tread.
The character of middle life is the character
of the man. 1t is that by which he is known
that by which he makes his mark that by which
he does his good or evil it is the character he
carries with him into age and into the dread
presence of his Maker. Middle life makes fol
us what God himself could not give. The
bright visions of youth are past. Sorrows, dis.
appointments, griefs, have overtaken us, and
we are made to see how solemn and how real q
thing it is to live-how vain and weak and ig,
norant is the unsupported soul of man. Amid
trials and tolls, the attendant witnesses of Q
Fathers discipline and oversight, amid defeat.
which each day testify to our insufficient princi
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1859-06-18

"De Lor! I'll bust 'em wide open-I will.
myself Jess stand back dar, you Orleans Mig
gers, and clear de track for Ole Souf Carlina,
Gas Use comm myself is"
And old Jake started back some fifty feet, and
went at It with good quick run, and the next
instant heard dull, heavy sound,-a kind of
SOILS, and old Jake's head disappeared from
sight, with the top just visible on the other side
as he rose with his new fashioned necklace, the
soit rotton cheese oozing down all round him as
he settled down SO that just his eyes were yisi-
bic. From the center of it Jakes voice was
scarcely audible and half smothcrcd, as he vain
ly tried to remove the immense cheese.
10000! er de Lor! Mass-took um orf.
O-o-o-o! bress der Lori Lif UNI up! Cora
mighty! l."
Meanwhile, was nearly dead myself-haying
laid back on cotton bale, holding myself to-
gether to keep from bursting, while the BOYS
stood around Ole Jake, paying him off,
" DE Lor! how de nigger's bref smells. You
doesn't clean your teef, Ole Jake?"
say,-you didn't make more dan four times
dat han, did you, ole hoss?"
well, you is nasty nigger,-dats facw
"Well, you is the BIGGEST kline Of Welsh
Rabbit,-you isp
"Whar you git your har greese?" And thus
the boys run Old Jake,-now half smothered =
when took compassion on him, and told them
to take 1t off. Jake didn't stay to claim his
prize, but put out growling,-
"Gor-a mighty! | done got sole dat time.
Use case of yellow feber,-I is, myself"
Old Jake was never known to do any more
butting in that vicinity after that.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1859-06-18

a MARRIAGE IN IRELAND.-A bridal party
recently assembled at Roman Catholic chapel
in Limerick and the ceremony was commenced
but as it progressed the gay Lothario could not
screw up his courage to the sticking point, and
when asked if he was willing to take the lady
as his welded wife, he became absolutely tongue
tied Meanwhile the lady, who before blushed
with modesty, now crimsoaed with Indignation;
but the would-be Benedict put into her hand a
EGO note as reparation to her wounded feel
ings. Sensibly enough she took the money,
and thinking it a pity that she should be disap-
pointed, and knowing that no time was to be
lost as it was the last day of Shrovetide, she
turned off from the tickle swain, and asked
young man who came to witness the ceremony,
and with whom she had been previously ac-
quainted, if he would have her. He jumped at
the proposal, and the necessary forms having
gone through, the marriage rites were completed
On the conclusion of the ceremony the newly
made bride took from her pocket c200, and
handed it and the EGO to her new lord and
master, to the amazement and chagrin of her
former suitor, who, it would appear, founded
his proposal" on report that the lady had
money, and backed out of it at the last mo-
moment, not seeing it forthcoming before the
marriage. To increase his trouble the now hap
py fair one exclaimed, "Ah, you lost a bar
gain! ~
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1859-06-18
LEGAL WI1TICISNS.

celebrated lawyer, in Missouri, being once
opposed to Mr.. S, late member Of Congress.
he remarked as follows to the jury, upon dsa.
greement between them: "Here, my brother
$ and differ. Now this is very natural.
Men seldom see things in the same light; and
they may disagree in opinion upon the simplest
principles of the law, and that very honestly;
while at the same time neither can say any earth
ly reason why they should. And this is merely
because they look at different sides of the subject
and do not view it in all its bearings. Suppose,
for illustration, a man should come in here, and
boldly assert that my brother SIS head there
he laid his hand very famarly upon the large
chuck le-head of his opponen) is a squash! l, on
the other hand, should maintain, and perhaps
with equal confidence that it is a head. Now,
here would be Observation-Disclosures an hon
est difierence-of opinion. We might argue
aboutit till doomsday, and never agree You Of
ten see men arguing upon subjects as empty and
triHing as this But third person coming in,
and looking at the neck and shoulders that sup
port 1t, would say at once, that / had reason on
my side; for if it was not a head, it at least oc-
cupied the place of one, and stood wncre head
ought to be- All this gas uttered in the grayest
and most solemn manner imaginable, and the
effect was irresislibly ludicrous.
And this reminds us of a similar "ht" once
made upon the eloquent Elisha Williams, of Co.
full before ajury; ard one day, in the Circuit
Court of that lk, he had made most profound
impression, alike upon the jury and upon the
Court" His legal opponent was a mere petit
fogger, but SMART" and he said: "Gen;lcmen
of the jury, and your honors, should despair of
the triumph of my client in this case, after the
eloquent appeal of the learned counsel, but for
the fact that common law is common sense. No
man could like better the piece which the
learned gentlemen has spoken, than what / like
that piece He spoke it good-lvc heered him
give it three times afore; once at Schodack, in a
burglary case; once at Kiak, on suspicion O.
stean once to Poughkeepsie, on murder case
and the next time at Kakiak, about man who
was catched counterfeiting. Well, he al,oays
spoke good; but this time, he's really beat
himself. But what does it all amount to, gentle
men of the jnry' That's the question; and you
can answer it as well as kin, and better tew!''
And so they did, and quickly, by a verdict in IA
vor OF pettifogger's client.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1859-06-18
DURE OHIO CATAWBA BRANDY
SAMUEL n. PIKE g. co.,
soLE PRorRIErohs,
IS L 20 Sycamore Street, CINCINNATI, OHIO.

This Brandy has manufactured for several years from
the PURE JUICE OF the CATAWBA GRAPE, thus alorng
additional evidence Of the progress Of American Enterprise
and Industry and Of ability produce articles Mt Home
equal to those made by any other Nation
The Ohio Catu w bn Bra udy. not only equals, but
EXCELS the best imported lrandcs in Purity and Flavor
It is, in fact the best brandy known! This state
u corroboated by the certificates OF most dis
tingushed Anaticll Chemists.
The Catawha Brandy possesses all the good qualities claim
ed for the best Imported Liquors and is Of perfect Purity and
Superior Flavor, and Sovereign and Sure Remedy for
Dyspepsia. Flatdslcy Camp Chac. Langao. Low Spirits.
GENERAL DEBILITY, CHOLERA MoRBUs, &C.
No Family should be without ii.
We have examined a sample Of S. n. FIXES CATAWBA
BRANDY shown by A. BARBER, Agt., and pronounce
1t hne and pure Brandy and recommend 1t to all who
may require II for medicinal purposes -
FRANCIS j. HIGGINsoN,
fREDK. MUELLER,
G. W. HORTON,
&. W. GRAu,
WILLARD ARMS.
CINCINNATI, Aug rs, 1885, This will certify that have
this day anared sample, representing large lot u Caaw
ba Brandy for s. N. Pike Co., at their store, No. Is 20
Sycamores between Columbia and fronsts, and find II
very and fine, equal Ia percentage Specific uraVi-
y and Aroma to which have Inspected for the last ten
years The various chemical tests which have carefully
applied give all the characteristics OF pure Cawba
brandy Given under my hand at the store above, the day
and date aforesaid HIRAM cox, NJ d. Chemical Inspec-
tor Of Liquors, for Cincinnati. Hamilton, Co Ohio.
The above be had in Brattcboro, Of A. BARBER Ag
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1859-06-18

ha4 cure ipr
will prove efficacious. 1t is very simple, and it
can do no harm it will be well to try it on dogs
generally as sure preventive. The direction
is; divide the large vein of the tail, close up
under the upper jaw (ths vein is frequently
called the jugular). The prompt flow of blood
will at once relieve the animal. Don't stop the
bleeding; let it stop itself If it don't stop of
its own accor,l it is sure evidence that all the
hydrophobia has not run out, and the chances
of this horror are decidedly favorable to your
letting her run.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1859-06-18

A San Francisco letter says sit does one good
to see how rapidly the Cinnamon are becoming
civilized under the tuition of Young America
hereabouts. saw four of them coming home
from dash out on the road yesterday, behind
pair of fast horses, all very drunk smoking
cigars, and giving other evidence of progress
The one that was driving made a ludicrous fist
of it-he persisted in standing up in the car
riage and putting one foot on the dashcr. A
Chinaman behind was hauling taught on the
pigtail to steady him, and they We're in a high
state Of enjOyment going it at 2-40 gait.'
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1859-06-18
VOL. XXVI.
MORE TO BE ADMIRED THAN THE
Nl RICHEST DIADEM

EVER WORN by KINGS OR EMPER0RS.
WHAT way Beautiful head Of Hair. Because Il is
the ornament God hinse prouided for all Read
although the may bloom brightly in the glow
nr cheeks the eye be ever so sparkling the teeth those
pearls fe head bere Of It's covering, the hair be
narcd and shriveed harsh and Dry worse STILL u sprn-
klcd with gray, nature will lose than half her charms
Prof Woods Hair Restorative, used two or three times
week will restore and permanently to all such
nsmeni Read the following and judge. The writer Of the
hrst is The celebrated Pianist, Thdfberg -
NKw YoRx, April 10, 1858.
Dr. woop dear Sir Permit to express to you the
obligations under for the entire restoration Of my hair
to lis original color about the time my arrival in the Uni
ted States rapidly becoming gray, but upon the app
o your "lIar Restorative" very wonderful invcn
tiou, quite elicacious as well as agreeable
am, dear sir, yours truly, ,,.,e
"Dryeh ar Gryi,sdct."
welsh Newspaper Office, 10 Nassau street.
April H. 1858.
Pnor. O. J. wooD Dear Sir,-Some month or six weeks
ago received bottle your Hair Restorative and gave
my wife, who concluded to try on her hair little thinking
the that would restore the gray hair 10 It's original
al has performed that wonderful effect by turning all the
gray hairs to dark brown, at the same time heauiy ing and
thickening the hair. CHARLES OAphhW
New YoRx, July 25, 1857.
Pnor. o. J. wooD with confidence do | recommend
your Restorative being the most ecacous article
ever saw Since using your Hair Restorative my hair and
dark and feel confident that few more applications
will restore them to their natural color has also relieved
OF all danru and unpleasant itching, so common among
persons who psrsprc freely J. q. KlLDN.
PRoF. wooD,-About two years ago my hair commenced
falling and turning was fast becoming bald and had
tried many remedies effect. commenced using your
Restorative in January last few applications fastened my
hair firmly II began to l up grow out and turned back
its former color (back) At this time is fully restored
its original color hcat and appearance, and ceeruy
recommend its to all. J. ID. HOES.
Chicago, ILL.,, May l, 1851
The Restorative put up bottles Of sizes via large
medium and small the small holds half pint, anil rctas
dollar por bottle; the medium holds at least twenty
per In proportion thau the small, reta for two
dollars per bot the large holds quart 40 per cent more
in proportion, and retails tor 81.
o. j. WOOD Co., Proprietors,
44 Broadway, New York III Market street ST. Louis, Mo-
And sod by all good Druggists and Fancy Goods Dealers
Wholesale Agents for Boston-s. BURR Co, GEO. c.
GOODWIN POTTER WEEKS.
Retail Agcnts-REDDlNG Co., s State street; GEO. b.
LITTLE, 100 Hanover street. J. Y. HOLMAN, No Tre-
mont Temple Wholesale Agent. %
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1859-06-18

If man 2l years of age begins to save dol
lar week, and puts it to interest every year, he
would have at 81 years $780, at IL, $1,000; at
81, $1,000; at II, 81, 800. When we look at
the sums, and when we think how much temp
tation and evil might be avoided in the very act
of saving them, and how much good man in
humble circumstances might do for his family
by these sums, we cannot help wondering that
more do not lay by one dollar week.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1859-06-18

TIE QUEENS OF ENGLAND-Messrs Brown,
Taggard & Chase have just issued in seven neat
12mo volumes library edition of "Lives of the
Queens of England, from the Norman Conquest;
with anecdotes of their Courts, now first pub
lshed from official records and other authentic
documents, private as well as public. New edi-
ton, with corrections and additions. BY Agnes
Strickland" This work, the first volume OF
which was issued in England in 1889, is now
complete. From the start the series was very
popular throughout the British Empire, and
large editions were published in quick success
sion; improvements by additions and corrections
were made in every new issue, and the work is
here offered to the American public in as perfect
form as it can be made by its gifted and ac-
compGshed author, who has devoted lifetime
of study to its historical accuracy.
Miss Strickland was greatly aided in her re.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1859-06-18

THE TWO ARMIES.

THE TWO ARMIES.
ny OLIVER WENDELL HOLMES.
As Lifes uncndng column pours,
Two marshalel hosts are seem
Two armies on the tramplcd shores
That Death flows black between.
One marches to the drum-bent's roll,
The wdc-mouihcd carion's bray,
And bears upon the crimson scroll,
"Our glory is TO say
One moves In silence by the stream,
With sad yet watchiul eyes,
Calm MS the patient planets CLEAN
That walks the cloudcd skies.
Along its front no sabres shine,
To blood rcd peunons wave;
Its banner bears the single line,
"Our duty is to save.'
For those no dcnth-bcd's lingering shade;
At llonOrs trumpei-call,
With knitted brows and lifted blade
In Glory's arms they fall.
For these no clashing fachons bright,
No stirring batte-cry;
The bloodless stabber calls by night
Each answers, "llere am l."
For those the sculptor's marble bust,
The builders marble piles,
The anthems pealing DER their dust
Through long cathedral aislcs.
For these the blossom -sprinklcd turf
That foods the lonely graves,
When Spring rolls in her sca-grcen surf
In flowery, fOaming waves.
Two paths led upward from below,
Aud angels wait above,
Who count each burning life drops flow,
Each falling tear Of love.
Though from the hero's bleeding breast
Her puSes Freedom drew,
Though the white lilies IN her crest
Sprung from the scarlet dew
While Naor's haughtv champions wait
Till nll their scars arc shown,
Love walks unchacngcd thro' the gate,
To sit beside the Throne.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1859-06-18

The New York Post tells of middle aged
gentleman who left off smoking twenty-five
years ago, and has put in the bank what two or
three cigars per day would have cost him, and
now finds the amount $2590. The smokers
will undoubtedly set this down as so much lost
of the enioyments of life.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1859-06-18
TO CONSERVATIVES.

MISS WAITE would say to the Ladies in
N Bratteboro and vicinity she has just returned from
New York with full assortment Of MILLINERY. Please
call and examine before purchasing.
ur Main-St., at Mrs. Rhodes old place.
Bratueboro, March 22i, 1s5s.-lam.l2
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1859-06-18
TERMS FOR ADVERTISING.

fR one square Of IL lines or less nrc typ Qe sma
esi size uscd three Insertions 81 for each subsequent in
seron 70 cents Thcnumher OFF sertios must b. marked
on advertisements orhey vii. be continued untilpriored
out Contracts will be made with advertisers by tho col
unn oI fractional parts thereof at ibcrarates Transient
advertising to be paid In advance.
foh an Probate advertisements excepting notices OF appca
ons 70 sell real estate and for Commissioners notices.
sl50 each for three insertions.
For notices Of Lbcraons Estray the formation md disso
luton Of Copartnership &C. $lO0 each for three inser-
tions. II sent by mail the money must accompany the
order. Wv
For business Cards in the first column from az 90 In ss 90
per year according to the space they occupy.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1859-06-18
GAS LIGHT; TO THE CITIZENS OF

poyed competent to put in Gas Pipes and Fixtures
into dwellings, stores offices in the approved
and will warrant the perfect (They wW al be tested
before Gas is introduced into hem Being Interested in
building the Gas works AMI managing them after completed
he will feel interest in having all such work properly done.
WIN also have Gas Fixtures Of various styles and patterns for
sale at reasonable prices. ID. HILL, Agt D. Gas Co.
Oct. 8, 1855. Al
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1859-06-18
ssDUY ME AND I'LL DO YOU GOOD
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The effect Of this medicine is most wonicrfult acts d-
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More than 100000 persons have been cured by this med
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