The Grand Haven news. [volume] (Grand Haven, Mich.) 1858-18??, 1859-11-09
Miscellaneous Items.

= Those who attempt nothing them.
selves, think everything easily performed.
"A gentleman who spoke of having
been struck by a lady's beauty, was advis-
ed to kiss the rod.
-" | know" said Tipsey, "that wa
ter is fine thing, but it is so dreadful
thin"
- Mr.. Peter White, of Plymouth, in
Ohio, lights his house from gas issuing
! from a well.
- An instantaneous method for pro-
ducing vinegar, praise one young lady to
another.
- An envious man rcpines as much at
the manner IN which his neighbors live, rs
if he maintained them.
- Scandal is bit of false money, and
ho who passes it is frequently as bad as
he who originally utters it.
: The most formidable horse spoken
Of in history was wooden one. II was
introduced into Troy one night. \
= Habit is everything. 1t either
makes or breaks man. 1fthey are good,
he goes starwards; if bad, mudwards.
= An old lady who sells eggs, in Gin
cinnati, has over her door, "New laid
eggs every morning, by Betty Briggs
= Gentlity is said to be eating meat
with silver fork, when the butchers bill
has not been paid.
- An il-tempered man carries his
own smoke, and makes not only his eyes
smart, but those Of other people.
- Sidney Smith says the Anglo-Sax-
on race were made for two purposes--to
manufacture calico and steal land
- A woman destitute of morals, will
be moro attrocious in her vices than a
man. Devils were made from Angels.
-" Now young man, as you are set
tied in town." said an uncle, Il would
advise you 10 take wife" with all
my heart, sir; whose wife shall l tako"
- The world caresses tho rich, howev-
or deficient in intellect and morals. and
avoids tho poor man of merit in his
threadbare coat.
- A deaf and dumb man in Connect
cut, who married q deaf and dumb wo-
man, has had five children, all of whom
hear and speak.
A Tennessee editor bitterly com
plains that he has recently seen banks
shaving their own paper. We once saw
bank director actually shaving hin',el?
- If you wish 10 increase the size and
prominence of your eyes, just keep m ac-
count of the money you spond foolishly,
and add it up at the end of the year.
- During an examination, medical
student being asked the question "when
does modification ensuo 2" replied, "When
you pop the question, and are answered
NO"
1t is only by labor that thought can
be made healthy; only by thought that
labor can be made happy, and the two
cannot be separated with impunity.
- The Democratic District Convention
at Topsbam, Maine, on Wednesday, elect
ed Thos. D. Robinson and Charles B.
Stetson delegates to Che Charleston Con-
vention.
An old man in Indiana recently
cowhided his daughter nineteen years old
for wearing hoops. Another father in
the same State turned his daughter out
of doors for the same offense.
- A farmer charged hired man of
of having an offensive breath. "Thun-
der and lightning" said the employee,
do you expect man TO breathe musk
roses for six dollars month";"
= A married lady found her two sons
quarreling, and, in hopes of putting an
end TO their. differences, uttered the fol-
lowing, "You young rascals, if J on don't
desist directly, I'll tell both your fathers"
- Many men want wealth-not
competence alone, but fve story COM
petence. Everything subserses this; and
religion they want as a sort Of Lightning
rod to their houses, to ward of, by and
by, the bolts Of Divine wrath.
- There is rumor that young
gentleman, formerly connected with the
press of this city ms local" has made
arrangements to purchase the materials
of the late Eastmanville Times Printing
Office. Eng. Il Herald.
- There is in the family of Mr.. John
II. Nollc, Brandywine street, Spring Gar
den, Philadelphia, a gentleman cat of
enormous size--a perfect curiosity. He
weighs thirty-one pounds, and measures
thirty-scven inches from tho tip Of the
nose to the end of the tail, and twenty
eight inches around the girth.
= Arrangements have been made for
tho continuation Of the waekly line of