Muscatine weekly journal. [volume] (Muscatine, Iowa) 185?-1890, 1859-07-08
MR.. BRowN's MIsHAPs.

MR. BRowN's M1sHAPs.
Mr.. Eliphalet Brown was bachelor
Of thirty-6ve or thercabouts one of
those men who seem to be born to pass
through the world alone. Save this
popularity, there was nothing to dis
tinguish Mr.. Brown from the multitude
of other Brownsyho are born, grow up
and die insthii World of ours.
1t CHANGED = Mr.. Brown had oc-
casion to visit HtSgn some fifty miles
distant, on matters Of business. 1t was
his first visit to the place, and he pro-
posed stopping, for a day, in order to
give himself an opportunity to look
about. Walking lesurcly aloug the
street, he was all at once accosted by
child Of five, who ran up to him, ex-
claiming:
Father, want YOU to buy me some
more candy"
Father WAS it. possible that he, a
bachelor, was addressed by that title :?
Tie would not believe it.
"Who were you speaking to, my
dear p he inquired of thelittle girl.
Il spoke to you, father SAID the
little one, surprised.
Really, thought Mr.. Brown, this is
embarrassing.
81 am not your father, my DEAR"
he said, "what is your name 20 -,
The child laughed heartily, evidently
thinking it good joke.
"What funny father You are," she
said ; ''but you are going to buy me
some candy"
Eyes! yesi I'll buy you aDMs -
you won't call me fatherSo nyl u
said Brown, nervouslk -, F. :
The little girl clapped heh - =
delight. The promise wa r.
membered. Mr.. Brown pro- so
a confectionery sore, snd kally
bought pound Of cahA, 16S0 he
placed in the Misunderstanding, lid girl.
In coming out Of hesstorss they en-
countered tie Gifa's mott 4.
So ooh! motherY' said az 5 GIRL.
4see how much candy hgS Dough;
for me ~ .kEfo
.'You shouldn't have Fought her so
qch at time, Mr.aJoHes," said the
.N, 81 am afraid she Will make her
PIE sick. But how did you happen to
get home SO quick FL did not expect
you before night
"Jones !-I-I-madame," said the
embarrassed Mr.. Brown-''it's all
mistake I amt Jones at all 1t isn't
my name. am Eliphalet Brown, of
W, and this is the first time 1 ev-
er came into this city,
"Good Heavens Mr.. Jones, what
has put this silly tale into your head =?
You have concluded to change your
name, have you? Perhaps it's your
intention to change your wife %
Mrs. Jones' tone was now defiant,
and this tended to increase Mr.. BIS
embarrassn ent.
Il haven't any wife, madame; 1
never had any. On my word as
gentleman l never was married."
''And do you intend to palm this
tale off on me ?" said Mrs. Jones, with
excitement. eff you are not married,
I'd like to know who l am 20
81 have no doubt that you are a
most respectable lady," answered Mr..
Brown, "and I conjecture, from what
you have said, that your name is Jones;
but mine is Broom, madame, and al
ways was"
"Mcllnda,'' said her mother, sud-
denly taking her child by the arm, and
leading her up to Mr.. Brown, "Melin-
da, who is this gentleman 20
"Why that's father,' was the child's
immediate reply, as she con6dingly
placed her hand in his.
''You hear that, Mr.. Jones, do you
You hear what the innocent child says,
and yet you have the unblushing i'm
pudence to deny that you are my hus-
band The voice Of nature, speaking
through the child, should overwhelm
you. I'd like to know if you are not
her father why you are buying candy
for her - would like to have you an
svsr that! But I presume you never
saw her before in your life"
81 never did! On my honor, Il
never did! 1 told her l would give
her the candy if she wouldn't call me
father any more.'
"You did, did you? Bribcd your
child not to call you father any more
Oh, Mr.. Jones, this is Infamous Do
you intend to desert me, sir, and leave
me to the cold charities of the world !?
And is this your first step, Mr.. Jones?"
Mrs. Jones was so overcome that,
without airy warning, she fell back up
~ on the sidewalk. Instantly a number
of persons ran to her assistance.
els your wife subject to faintine
in this way?'' asked the first conner Of
Brown.
81 don't kuow," said Mr.. Brown :;
"she isn't my wife. l don't know
anything about her."
"Why, IT'S Mrs. Jones, amt it?'
eyes, but Pm not Mr.. Jones'"
"Sir, said the first speaker, sternly,
sSthis is no time to jest. I trust that
you are not the cause Of the excite
meut which must have occasioned your
wife's fainting ct. You had better call
eoachsnd carry her home directly.''
Poor Brown was dumfounded. l
wonder, thought he, whether it is pos.
sible that TIM Mr.. Jones without know.
ing it. Perhaps I'm really Jones, and
have gone crazy, in conseouence of