Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1859-10-13
9Dit UNI a5amur.


The WAY THEY CorRT DOWN EAST Sal
ly, the housemaid, pairing apples in the cor
ncr. Entered Obadiah who seats himself in
the corner opposite to Sally, without saying
a word for fifteen minutes, but finally scratch
ing his head, broke silence
There's a considerable imprsceptible alter
in in the weather since last week"
''Taint SO njudicious and so indutiable cold
as twas; the thermomican has lowered up to
four hundred degrees higher than zenith"
II think it likely, for birds of that fly -
quantity higher in warm days than cold ones"
said Obediah.
Both parties assumed grave and imposing
look, a long pause ensued. Finally Obadiah
gives his pate another narrowing scratch and
again breaks silence with
We'll Sally, we chaps are going to rise i
sleigh ride, its sich inimical good sledden to-
morrow. spouse they'll have instatiatc
times oEt ! should be supernatural happy
if you would disgrace my company; should
take it deropitary honor; besides we're cal
culatin to treat the gals copious with raisins
and black strap"
Il should be supernatural glad to disgrace
you, but our folks suspect campany; can't
so, says Sally.
Obadiah sits awhile, and at length he starts
up as though new idea had come upon him.
We'll now, know what I'll do; III go
home and thrash thin beans what have been
| lying down in the barn sich darn while"
Exit Obadiah.
\ gentleman named Dunlop, being present
at party where ono of the company had
made several puns on the names .et the pcr-
sons present, remarked that he had never
heard his name punned upon, aud didn't be-
lieve it could be done. There is nothing in
the world more easy, sir, replied the punster
Just fop off half the name, and then it is DIM.
81 can tell you how to save that horse" SD
a darkey to II man who was locking vcAy
earnestly at the skeleton of horse attaehcS
to a vehicle heavily loaded with oysters.
''Willy yuu?--say on.
"Why, just slip him away while the CROWS
are at roost.
who is that lovely sirl?" exclaimed the
witty Lord NOrbnry, in company with his
friend Counsellor Grant
Miss Glass" replied the Counsellor.
81 should often be intoxicated cU,.ld placs
such glass to my lips"
There is q town in Texas in which it is
said there is brt one grave, upon which is
written the following epitaph.
! Underneath this turf doth lie,
| Back to back my wife and !.
Generous stranger, spare the tear
For could she speak, lcould not hear;
Happier far when in life
Free from care ard free from strife;
When the last trump the air shall Gil
If she gets up, I'll just lie still.
gSi'" \ good joke is told of Beccher and
Park benjamin. On one of their lecturing
expeditions, they were riding in the same
railway car. Getting into conversation about
preaching, Bcccher was 50 courteous as to ask
benjamin to come over to Brook lyn some Sab
bath morning and hear him. 81 do not know
where your meeting house is, said Benjamin;
chow shall find it," "Oh," replied Beech
cr, ALI you lave TO 10 is to come over ono of
the ferries and follow the crowd would
come, confined Benjamin, 'hnt for one reason
| 'Ah, what is that asked Bcechcr BECAUSE
said Benjamin, with Il merry look out Of his
eyes, i make it an inevitable rule never to
20 30 any place Of amusement Oh Sunday!