The Council Bluffs nonpareil. [volume] (Council Bluffs [Iowa]) 1857-1867, 1859-06-11
ALAWYER. AMONG cows.

Squire Wick, q lawyer who fancies what
| he don't know amt worth "pumpkins," and
whose home amt thousand miles from the
Pine-,ree State, WAS a great favorite with
the late Judge Cranch. Once visiting the
Judge, the latter invited him to walk over
his premises. Among other places, they
visited the barn yard, and the Squire was
struck with. admiration as he gazed upon the
noble herd of COWS, which had just been
drove up for milking. He talked US elabo-
rately Of their different good points, as would
tirst rate good stock breeder, when the fac,
was, he knew next to nothing about stock,
and some of the good points which he spoke
Of, caused the Judge u hearty lauSh-in his
sleeves.
"Wel SQUIRE" said the Judge, which
of the cows will you take?"
"Whch will take, your honor ~ said
the Squire, not knowing the Judges mean
ing.
"Yes, which will you take. l am going
to make you present Of one Of them-which
shall it be?"
"Really, your honor, this is unexpected
will not object to the present, but had ra-
,her your honor would make the selection,
as receivers should not be the choosers."
elf you accept this present you must
make the selection. Being good judge 81
stock, YOU will not be likely to cheat your
self" and the eccentric Judge smiled to him
self.
The Squire rubbed his gold bowed specta-
cles, and be .an to view the cows with a crit
ic's precision. After much scrutinizing, he
said:
81 apprehend your honor, you would not
like to part with that very fat, short horned, i,
thick -necked COW 2"
81 have no choice, make your selection,''
said the Judge, his risibles hardly controlla-
BILE.
81 don't want to rob you Of your fav orite
COW, but if you have no choice, should pre-
fer the very fat one: she has many good
points"
"No favorite-no robbery at all-the fat
cow is yours. My servant will drive her to
your house before milking"
The delighted Squire hastened home to
inform his wife. In about an hour he saw
the "fattest, and best pointed COW in the viii
lage,' as he styled her, driven into his yard,
and despatched sable daughter Of Africa
to milk her. In few minutes in came eb-
ony, gigging and laughing. Squire Wick
knew something was 10 pay, anu "hal Nc
could not conjure. There stood Dinah,
'.round up," with laughter, the empty pail
da.g!ing by her side.
'What on earth is to pay, D:nah p in
quired the Squire.
8" Q ma::a, for muffin, only-Ai Ii Ii, iii
he he e."
The Squire looked at his wife-she at him
- then both at Dinah, who had " connip-
toned" with laughter, and settled down by
the door, her face covered with an apron,
and her laughing machinery shaking her
sides at tremendous rate.
The Squirc's mad riz.
':Dnah,' said he at the top Of his voice,
"tell what's to pay or l'll throw you out Of
the house,
Dnah mastered herself long enough to
say: " . lor massa, muffin, only dat COW oh
yourn be-a 'gemman cou!!" and then fell
into another fit Of laughter.
If you know hew chop fallen man looks.
a portrait of Squire Wick's coun,enance
would be superhuous. The way that very
fat, short horned, thick necked com' walk
ed back to the yard Of Judge Cranch, wasn't
slow, and the way the Jndge shook his sides
was a caution to stock critics.