The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1859-03-23
MISCELLANEOUS.
Schol arly.


The Dubuque Sun. of sometime in
December. contained the letters publish
below; they are good enough TO salt
down anil wa nrnr raed II, Finn, IN
Tub:
WArcu CoRREsroxDENcE.-The following
"highly Interesting correspondence fell into
our han !s yesterday which we can aver is gen
uine. The name of the ar'ies. with the eXcep-
ton Of the lady christian name, OF course we
have suppressed from this fact. 1t is needless to
add woids by way of Introduction, the lady 9
epistle will do this, hence VT submit it;
Mr.. c.; DEAR SIR: The watch
which the bearer Of these lines hands
YOU for re-crystalization, is one which
I lately purchased for the sum Of four
teen dollars. 1t was acarranted to be an
exact time piece. and from some reason
unknown to me it has failed to keep
regular time. 1t is the wish of the ven-
der and vendee that you examine the
watch and send out with it written
certificate Of its true cha acter as an
exact time piece. If it is a true watch
but needs cleansing and regulating only.
instead of material internal arrangement
of the machinery and original defec-
tiveness being the cause Of its stoppage
and variation. please state SO particular.
ly. as upon your decision rests the mat
ter. This watch is extremely apt to
break crystals, 1t having broken SO so
worth of them since l knew it: there
fore please combine as much solid
strength with polished be- uty as is
practicable and compatible with adapta-
ton. So much wheel-stealing and hair
sp,ing-hooking is carried on by the
numerous underlings in this business in
which you are honorably engaged that
l dare not trust my watch any more
among them. But my genealogical
length has become wonderfully and
taslelessly attenuated. however, MI.
c.. you will accep. my apology for
this on the ground that it is considered
an universal failing Of my much abused
sex to be sU0rdy. "
The bearer Of the watch Tor of you.
card if you are too busy to fix it now,
will settle your bill, for which tune up
my dear cylindrical time piece to perfec'
and harmonious order. and give it clean
face to view me it's careful owner. etc.
No more, surely at present. "a
But remain, &c.,
| ELoIsE LAURA V.
Mr.. c.. the jeweler replies, goes in on hi
nerve and learning. and 10 fully M Uordy a
M lie Eloise. Mark how he piles on th'
agony:
- DUBUouE, June 14th.
To MILE. ELoIsE Laura Y With
intensified emo ions of deep inexpress
ible interest l have the Incompetent
sible and almost overwhelming felicity
of communicating the very gratifyin.
intelligence Of receiving your idea
cylindrical little time-piece" togethe
with your very miscellaneous and par
,icularizing epistle deposited with you
fourteen dollar treasure in the SAM
beautiful and dear'y beloved metali'
shrine. otherwise designated in un-efn
ed language as common white tin box
Though the object Of your yearninl
solicitude presented it's face to mo ye
| found it white and cold and dead.
1t spoke not. it ticked not. it move'
not; it is at present my unchangeabl
conviction that even kiss would hav
sent no thrill Of inexperienced pleasur
to it's heart or even induced it to move
: hand to return more than the pressur
of its weight as it lay in mine. You
. precautionary information involves m
deepest and most delicate feelings {
overpowering responsibility to use all {
my profes ional and artistic exertions
= remove it's unnatural dumbness and
restore it's power. to make and msasur
the in6nitssimal portions Of the never
TO- be. com p!eted cycle OF eternity.