The star of the north. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, 1859-03-23
MatrimOny as we Understand it.

! Ilusl JuuSe HOfn WHAT we see uut tud'1
we fear bears but a small proportion 10
what we do not see. The conjugal mis-
cry which is revealed, is, perhaps, not
10 be compared even in point of ihten.
sty, with that which Is carefully hidden
from the gaze of the world. But it serves
as kind of an index for conjecture, assur.
! ing us that if we could get behind the scenes,
if the curtain could be Withdrawn, and the
actual history of married life, public and
private, could be laid bare, we would be.
hold state of things far exceeding any that
is dreamed of in our philosophy. We would
discover that people who seem wonderfully
harmonious and loving, are quite discordant
and wretched-that the amiable felicity
which we admire and envy, is sad sham
| that the domestic peace and concord which
we fancy must prevail in the households
of those who appear so fond and gentle and
amicabe before the foot lights of that gay,
enchanting delusive magico-comic masque-
rade, called society" are vain show.
But, with stripping off the masque and
disspating the glilterng illusions Of the
mise en- scene, let us ask why it is that there
should be so much sorrow and strife and
suffering, where there should be only love,
honor, obedience and tranquility? We be.
lieve there is but one answer 10 this ques-
ton. 1t is, doubtless, hard 10 find any case
in which the matrimonial relation is not dis
turbeG by some slight occasional jars -
| While human nature is constituted as it is,
we cannot reasonably hope that any two
| persons, much less any man and woman,
can be as closely associated as hus-
| baud and wife are associated, without the
occurrence, now and then, of some trifling
difference or misunderstanding TO rufiie the
otherwise serene and placid current of their
! lives. OF these little disagreemeuts, how
ever, we do not now discourse They are
not'only natural, and 10 be expected under
! the most favorable conditions, but we may
| suppose that they are not without their sal
utary use in the providental economy Of
! our social system. 1t is only then, of the
! graver instances of dissenson and enmity,
enlargement and separation, between those
who are proIessedly united in the most in-
innate and sacred OF all earthly relation
/ sh, p that we now mean 10 speak. And we
assert, broadly, that the domestic quarrels
aud divisions which so shock the moral sen.
! timent o. the world and bring dishonor on
| the best of all divine institutions for the
happiness and elevation of mankind, are
the inevitable out.growth of il-assorted
marriages Where there is no natural fit
ness. no proper sympathy Of personal char
J acter, mental aud moral, there can be no
real affection, no lasting attachment. The
alIinities of nature are violated in such
cases, and nature sooner or later, vindicates
her laws by the dissolution or mseries of an
alliance which should never have been
contracted. The worst form of this fatal
error-and it is of that only that we have
space here 10 remarks marriage for con-
venience. There is a class-and large
class, too-of men and woman, who regard
matrimony only as sort OF business spec
ulation--who seek a wife or husband just
as merchant would plan an operation in
sugar or cotton, or stock gambler invest his
money in Erie" or "Reading."
This is one phase of fortune-hunting in
our marvelously matter-of.fact and sordid
society. And it is the most contemptble,i if
not the most pernicious and noticeable form
of the intense materialism of American life.
What should be thought of young man
we think there is more excuse for the girls
who would save himself the disappoint-
ments, delays, and labors of earning an
honest independence, by taking short cut
10 wealth in mean traffic of his hand for a
woman's purse? Suppose he finds, after
she discovers The cruel and base cheat prac.
tised upon her, that he has not secured her
money, because he has neglected TO secure
her heart, what sympathy should be felt for
him Is the world 10 take up his quarrel
and assert his rights2 Can he fairly plead
the obligations of a contract, the essential
condition of which he has shamefully dis
regarded in pledging an affection which he
never felt Can he claim even the legal
sanctions of relationship which is, SO far
as It's real and fundamental, its best and ho-
liest conditions, are concerned, he cannot
be truly said ever TO have formed Is marri-
J age, as understood by human or divine law,
an Idle, formal joining of hands, before wit.
J nesses and the mechanical pronunciation
of set phrases of mutual love and honor,
duty, and obligations? Has it no solemn,
no vital, no spiritual principal and bond ot
union 1t is sacrament sanctilied by all
the deepest and dearest interests of society
and the most explicit injunctions of Heaven,
or have we, indeed, degraded it 10 the low.
est and vulgarest convehtonalism OF brok-
ering and conveyancing! II 1--WE have, then
the courts and the legislatures of the coua.
try should set themselves against such foul
sacrilege and PROCLAMATION. They should re-
fuse 10 confrm-they should, if applied TO-
promptly declare null and void, every mar
rage that has on one side or the other, we
care not which, been celebrated in cleal
violation of mutual good faith--of the es
81 sential conditions, social and religious, O