The independent press. (Abbeville C.H., S.C.) 1853-1860, 1859-09-02
u x CE r PIT 9

"uen Is Il tired man like thlet W hen
he needs arestiny.
The law OF existence is not happiness or
comfort, but sacrifice.
LATEST FROM CurSA.-Why is wi, like
Chinese lady's foot? Because brevitv is
the sole of it.
LATEST FROM THE PouLrRY.-When is
hen most likely to hatch? When she is
in earnest, (her nvst)
Lodgings are SO scarce in Australia that
men pay for lying in the gutter, and extra
for resting tlleif heads on the curbstouc.
A sailor who has recently returned from
Newfoundland, says that the fog is so thick
there that he used to drive a nail in it to
hang his hat'on.
Haven't you finished scaling that fisl,
yet, Sam:-'No master, It's Il very large
one why, you have had time to scale a
mountain
If piece of raw meat is kept for hens to
peck at, they will never break their own
eggs and more than that. they willlay eggs
IN winter as well as in summer.
1t has been inferred that Dryden wasn't
opposed to sherry cobbler, from a remark
he once made-'S'rnws may be made the
instruments of happiness
The law, said Judy Ashurst in charge,
is open to all men, to the poor as we'll the
r'ct.' Aud so is the London Tavern ad-
ded Horne Tooke, who was present.
'What bad light these candles give
said Tom to bis wife. 'Yes, they have just
come in was her reply; to which he.re.
Joined, Just come in--I should think thew
had just gone out
Misprints will present themselves in other,
columns than those of newspapers The
author of temperance novel who wrote,
drunkenness is folly was horror-struck to
read drunkenness is folly
Boy" called out Brown, to the waiter
at Sans. Don't call me boy, sir; I'm no
boy, sir said the latter 'Then do as you'd
b. done by put in Brown; 'and don't call
th'ssmutton lamb any morer -
A lady said to her husband, in Jerrold,s
presence, My dear, you certainly want some
new trousers No, think not answered
the afectionatc husband. WELL Jerrold
interposed, 4 think the lady who wears
them ought to know
Ants, though destructive. are useful. as
they prey upon all kinds of Aphides, as do
also ear=wigs and lady-bir>,s. However,
ants and ear-wigs only pick out the fat ones
whilst the lady bird eats regularly on, and
misses none which comes in its way.
A butcher presented bill for the tenth
time to rich skinAint. I. strikes me-
SAID the latter, that this is pretty round
DILL Yes replied the butcher, I've sent
It round often enough to make it appear
so; and have called now to get it souar-
ed.'
Papa said lttlesboy to. his parent one
day, are not sailors very small men p No
my dear, answered the father; sprav, what
leads you to suppose that they are so smallY
'secause,' replied the young idea, smartIy,
Tread tile other day Of eailor going to
sleep ip his watch
IRISH EcoNoMy.-Pat's master offered
Him eighteen shilings per week as his
wages. Pat shook his head. 'What will
not that satisfy you?' inquired his master.
Fa'x, an ye want to ruin me- repiied Pat.
= won't take more than twelve shillin's
week, and then if I'm away week or sc I
shall save just six shillin's weekIyp
Diggs saw five pourd note lying on the
ground. but he knew it was forged one,
and walked on without picking it up. He
told smi,hers the story, when the latter,
said, DO you know. Diggs, you have couns
mitted very grave off.nce9' 'Wby, what
have / doneT You have passed forged
note, knowing 1t to be SUCH
Printers errors are sometimes laughable.
a yopng clergyman printed a sermon, the
subject Of which was tho necessity for mod
crate and rational recreation, in which 81.
cured the passage, Men should work and
play, too The want OFFS stroke ruined it
and the religious world was scandaIzed ~
reading, Men should work and play too.'
There's no hurnbug about these sardines,'
sald Brown, ss be helped himself to third
P'ateful ftdA newly opened box; they
are the genuine article, and came all us
way from the Mediterranean Yes, re-.
pled bis economical wife, .aud il you will
only control your appetite, they viii ooba