The day book. [volume] (Norfolk, Va.) 1857-1867, 1859-10-06
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THURSDAY EVENING, OCT. 6.
Chunky Joe.


In the immediate vicinity of Cincinnati
is small village now rejoicing in the
name of Cumminsville, but formerly
known as Helltown. In this village a
public-hcu,e was kept by MEX, who
had in bis employ jack of all trades nam
ed Joe Barker, better known as Chunky
Joe,in alusion to his general appearance.
Joe W - fond of good liquor, or, indeed
liquor OF any kind and being generally
short Of funds and credit to-, was in the
habit Of Selling on all remnants of liquor
LETT by practitioners at the bar.
Thus matters progressed for some ten
years, keeping Joe pretty we'll soaked,
when Mr.. K. having occasion to make a
mixture for curing diseased hoof, had
need of some nitric acid or aquafortis that
article being one of the ingredients of the
lotion.
Taking a common bar tumbler, and,
pouring sufficient quantity Of acid in it
be went out, leaving the tumbler on the
counted, and a traveller as the sole occu-
pant of the bar-room. He had no soon
er passed the door than in came Chunky
Joe, and seeing, as he thought, tumb-
Ter, as usual with some liquor too good to
be wasted, Immediately looked through
the bottom, "as was his usual CUSTOM
and quickly Mreao himself outside of sail
liquor. He then went to his wood-chop-
ing, smacking his lips at the unusual
strength of the spirits. Shortly after Mr..
K, coming in, picked up the tumbler to
20 on with the medical operation, but
was very much surprised on finding it.
empty. lnquiring of the traveller, he
was informed that short, chunky man
describing Joe) had drank it. With an
exclamation of surprise, and consterna-
ton depicted on his countenance,h he rush
ed out of the room in search of Joe, ex-
pecting to find his dead body not many
yards off. He passed around the house,
and in the backyard found Joe doing
extra exclusion upon the back-logs, work
ing as be generally did when be had on
an extra amount of steam. After get
ting over his establishment, the follow ing
colloquy ensued:
Mr.. K. "Joe, did you drink that stuff
on the counter T.
Joe. "Wby-yaas-I thought it hadn't
ought to be wasted, you know. All right,
'spose
Mr.. X. II don't know. How did you
like it ?" How do you feel after it ?"
Joe. "Feel feel fust-rate-lively as
a cricket"
Mr.. X. "Well, Joe but haven't you no.
ticed anything out of the way-nothing
wrong about you ?"
Joe Anything wrong? Well, mot
nuch-fust-rate liquor-takes good hold
goes further than common. There S
only one thing queer about it which l
can't get the hang of here he drew his
shirt-sleeve under his nose WHENEVER
WIPE MY MOUTH | BURN A HOLE IN MY
SHIRT y
Mr.. K. always after this spoke OF the
circumstance in illustration of the pr s.
ervative qualities of his liquors, which
would give man such a stomach that
even a dram of nitric acid would not taze
it.
After Joe found out what he had been
drinking be always kept cent in bis
pocket, which he would drop into his
liquor before he drank to test its strength.
The last time the cent was seen it was
pretty we'll used up. 1t was about the
thickness Of hali-dime, but still show
ed the outline of Libsrty's head. which
was, with Joe, embematic of the liberty
of drinking when he pleased. He is still
alive.