The Nevada Democrat., 1859-01-12
NEVADA CALIFORNIA WEDNESDAY MORNINGS JANUARY 12 1884,
The Ar. of Living with others.

In the first place, if people are living happily
together, they must not fancy because they are
thrown together now, that all their lives have
been exactly similar up to the present time,
that they started exactly alike and that they
are to be for tie future of the same mind. A
thorough conviction of the difference of men is
the great thing to be assured of in social knOwl-
edge; it is to life what Newton's law is to as
tronomy. Sometimes men have a knowledge
of it with regard to the world in general; they
do not expect the outer world to agree with
them in all points, but are vexed at not being
able TO drive their own tastes and opinions into
those they live with. Diversities distress them.
They will not see that there are many forms Of
virtue and wisdom. Yet we might as we'll say,
"why all these stars why this difference why
not all one star ~
Many of the rules for people living together
in peace follow from the above. For instance,
not to interfere unreasonably with others, not
to ridcule their tastes, not to question and re-
| question their resolves, not to indulge in per-
petual comment on their proceedings, and to
delight in their having other pursuits than ours.
are all based upon thorough perception of the
simple fact that they are not we.
| Another rule for living happily with Others,
is to avoid having stock subjects of disputation.
| 1t mostly happens, when people live much to-
! gether that they come to have certain set top
is such growth of angry words, mortified van
| ty, and the like, that the original subject OF
difference becomes standing subject of quar-
rel and there is tendency III all miner dis
putes to drift down to it.
Again, if people wish to live we'll together,
they must not hold too much to logic, and sup
pose that everything is to be settled by suhi
cient reason. DR. johnson saw this clearly
with regard to married people, when he said
Il. L H. in hnt oil nns
of wretchedness, who should be doomed to ad
just by reason, every morning all the minute
details of domestic day" But the applica
ton should be much more general than h'
made it, There is no time for such reasonlngs
and nothing that is worth them. And dwhen W.
recolect how two lawyers, or two politicians
can go on contendng, and that there is no enc
of one-sided reasoning on any subject, we shal
, not be sure that such contention is the hes
mode of arriving at truth but certainly 1t is
not the way to arrive at good temper.
If you would be loved by a companion, avoid
unnecessary criticism upon those with whom
you live. The number OF people who have Ia
ken out judges patents for themselves is very
large ia any society. Now, it would be hard
for a man to live with another, who was always
crticising his actions, even if it were kindly
and Just criticism. 1t would be like living be-
tween the glasses Of "a microscope. But these
self-eected Judges, like their prototypes, are
very apt to have the persons they Judge brought
before them in the guse of culprits. One OF
the most provoking forms of the criticism above
alluded to is that which may be called criticism
over the shoulder. Had been consulted =
Had you listened to me''-''But you always
will''-and such short scraps of sentences, may
remind many of us Of dissertations which we
have suffered and inflicted, and of which we
cannot call to mind any soothing effect.
Another rule is. not to let familiarity swal
low up all courtesy. Many of us have habit
of saying to those with whom we live, such
things as we say about strangers behind their
backs. There is no place, however, where real
politeness is of more value than where We most
ly think it would be superfluous. You may say
more truth. or rather speak out more plainly
to your associates, but not less coureously
than you do to strangers.
Again we must not expect more from the So
ciety of our friends and companions than it can
give; and especially must not expect contrary
things. 1t is somewhat arrogant to talk OF
travelling over other minds (mnd being for
what we know, Infinitely but still we become
familiar with the upper views. tastes, and tenn
pers of our associates, and it is hardly in man
to estimate justly what is familiar to him. In
travelling along at night, as Haslitt says, We
catch glimpse into cheerful looking rooms.
with light blazing in them, and we conclude in
voluntarily how happy the inmates must he.
Yet there is heaven and bell in these rooms the
same heaven and hell that we have known in
others.-FFiends an Council.