Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1859-08-23
MISCELL AN Y.
A Reporters Joke.

Morgan O'Sullivan, an Irishman, and cele-
brated Parliamentary reporter, attached TO the
London Morning Chronicle, some fifty years
ago. was as remarkable for his humor as his pro
fessional ability. Whenever any one offended
Morgan, or got out of favor with him, he inva-
riabiy retaliated in the way of some practical
joke, that generally placed his antagonist in
very ridiculous position, and afforded the 1u'
morist satisfaction.
In this way he once "got even" with two in
dividuals at the same time, who had excited his
ire-namely, the celebrated Wilberforce, then q
leading member of the opposition in Parliament
and one Jack Finnerty, a Parliamentary reporter
of the Morning Herald. FinnertY was fresh
from Tipperary, and quite unacquainted with the
characteristics of the different members, but he
received good deal of generous professional as
sistance at the outset of his career from Morgan
OSulliyan. On the occasion now referred to,
FiLnerty came into the reporters gallery at q
period of the night when the debates seemed to
have Stacked; he concluded to take doze on
one of the benches, and requested his friend to
wake him up if anything lively came before the
house. and thereupon went off to sleep. Pres
emily Mr.. Wilberforce got upon his legs, and ad.
dressed a very thrilling speech before the house
AS he progressed, misohievous idea seized
Morgan O'Sulvan, which as soon as he, WILDER
force, sat down, he proceeded to put in practice
thus: Rousing FinLerty from his sumber on the
benches, O'Sullivan exclaimed, "Jack, Wilber-
force has Just made an extraordinary Speech
.What about?" returned Finnerty, rubbing his
eyes. ABOUT the potato; the effect OF it or
national vivacty-the great virtues of it as ar
article of popular diet ) proved that the hnes
Kind of men were reared on it, tar superior tc
the Enslish.n "Wilbertorce said that, did he z
exclaimed Finuerty "come let Inc take his re-
marks in full from your notes." with pleasure
INV dear fellow" replied O'Sullivan, who com
,neuced as if reading from note book, whilst
Finnerty eagerly wrote after him, in the follow
inc vein s'Mr. Wilberforce then empbatically
remarked that it always appeared to him, be-
yond question, that the great cause why the
Irish laborers, as q body, were SO much stronger
and capable of enduring 80 much more fatigue
than the English, arose from the SURPRISING vir-
tnes of their potato" "That's what | call elo
ouepee.n interrupted Jack Finnerty. Morgan
resumed, "and have no doubt, CONTINUED Mr
Wilberforce) that had it been my lot to have
bsen born aud reared in Ireland, where my food
would have principally consisted of that inesti
mable root, instead of being the poor, iDtirm
sbriyelled and stunted creature you, sir, aDC
honorable gentlemen now behold me, woulo
have been stout, athletic, handsome man, able
to carry an enormous weight" "Well done
/ Wlberforce," exclaimed Jack, rubbing his hands
in high glee "go on, Morgan" O'Sullivan ther
proceeded in the same vein of pathos and ab
surdily, but adroitly keeping within the bound
that Finnerty's credulity would swallow, unti
he had placed most whimsical speech in tn
mouth of the grave and earnest Wilberforce.-
Flnnerty, with many expressions of thanks to hi
brother reporter, started for the Herald office.
On his way, turning into tavern close by tn
House of Commons, where q number OF report
ers of the different morning papers were regalinl
themselves, here Jack furnished them all will
copies of "Wilberforce's Speech" and the hOa,
found its way the next morning into every pape
in London, with the exception Of the Mornin.
Chronicle, to which, as matter of course, th
correct report was furnished by O'Sullivan.--
The public were astounded at the extraordinar.
speech which according to all the papers, Mi
Wilberforce had made, and the general opinion
was expressed that he was candidate for Bed
lam. The following evening, on the speaker ia
king the chair, Wiberforoe rose and claimed tn
indulgence of the house. Every honorsbl
member" he observed, "has doubtless read th
speech which am represented as having mad
! on the previous night. With ihe permission c
the house, will read it." (Here the honorabl
: gentleman read the speech amidst the most dea
+ ening roars of laughter) 81 can assure hopors
/, BILE members that no one could have read thi
. speech with more surprise than my self did thi
morning, when found the paper on the break
fast table. For myself, personally, | care bu
little about it, though if were. capable of utter
ing such nonsense as is here put into my moutf
: it is high time that, instead of being membe
: of this house, l were an inmate of some lunati
asylum. 1t is for the dignity of this house thu
feel concerned, for if the honorable member
were capable of listening to such nonsense, SUI
; posing me capable of giving expression to it,
!. were much more appropriate to call this thes
c tire for the performance of farces, than plac
for the legislative deliberations of the represen
tatives of the people,"
This was only one of the many instances
which Morgan O'Sullivan paid off to his heart
content, members of Parliament and other po
tential personages, who had in some manner {
other, provoked the waggish propensites of th
: incurable humorst.