Meigs County telegraph. [volume] (Pomeroy [Ohio]) 1848-1859, 1859-03-08

does not always obtain it, he rarely fails tc
obtain ridicule.
ET TAbsence destroys small passions
and increases great ones; as the wind ex'
tinguishes tapers, and kindles fires.
ETAll the passion makes us commit
faults, but love makes US guilty CT the
mot ridiculous ones.
E1-The most economical time to buy
cider is when it is not very clear, for then
it will settle for itself
EEThe man who couldn't "trust his
feelings" is supposed to do business on
the cash principle.
w"I'll let you OFF easy this time" as
the horse said, when he capsized his rider
into the soft mud
EgWhat is the difference between a
seamstress and a groom? One mends the
tear while the other tends the m are.
~"Are you looking for any one in
partlcnlar?" rs the rat said when he saw
the cat watching him.
EEA fnancier lately described poet
As one who scared or dived after the in
unlteI OuI ulun pay MS Dl'iS'
EE-"Sir," said a woman to a loafer
sit you do not send home my husbands s
clothes, will expose you" elf | do |
shall ezpose myself" was the cool reply
EN-"She isn't all that my fancy pain
ted her." bitterly exclaimed rejected
lover; and worse than that, size isn't what
she paints herself
N-What one of the planets is sup
posed u have the most sp Gle? The moon;
because she is continually changing quar-
ters.
EJ-It can hardly be said Of criminal
when he is hung that he pays the debt of
nature 1t is altogether likely that he
goes into state of suspension.
GE-A man came very near dying in
California, lately. by putting on a pair OF
clean white stockings and drinking glass
of cold water-an experiment he had not
tried for good many yeais.
EyA An old bachelor knave advlseth a
young friend thus-"Give thy wife no
power over thee, for if thou suffer her to-
day to tread upon thy foot, she will not
stick tomorrow to tread upon thy head.
LEA pedagogue threatened to punish
boy who had called him fool behind his
buck.
"Please don't sir,'' said the boy; 81
won't do SO again, Sir | never will say,
Sir, what l think again in my life"
LEA Dutchman having friend hung
in This country, wiOte To his friends in
forming them that after addressing large
meeting Of citizens, the scaffold on which
he stood gave way, owing to which he fell
and broke his neck.
EwA gallant wag was lately sitting
beside his beloved. and being unable to
think Of anything to say, asked her why
She WAS like a tailor?
II don't know" said she. with a pout-
ing lip, "unless it is because l am now
sit,iug beside gooseN
Eg-When Lord Erskine was Chancel-
lor, being asked by the Secretary of the
Treasury to attend the grand ministerial
fish dinner at the end of the session, he
replied
ITO be sure will. What would your
fish dinner be without the Great Seal!"
~.I should think them omnibus
wheels would be faigued after running all
day. observed Sam.
:.WelI, yes," replied Seth, taking
squint at them, "they do appear to be
ahem!-'lired.
EH-"No doubt there is room enough
in the world for men and women" says
an exchange, but 1t may be a serious
question whether the latter are not taking
up more than their share of it," May be
SO, but the writer forgot to say in what?
EE-A little girl being sent to a shop to
parchaSe some dye stuff, and forgetting
the name of the article, said to the shop
man--"What do folks dye with?'' Die
with? Why cholera, sometimes, he replied.
"Well believe Lhat's the name" she
said. IL want to get three pennyworth."
EY-"Il's quite too bad of you, Darby,
to say that your wife is worse than the
devil"
An place yer Reverence. can prove $
it by the Houly Scliplu'--I can, be the 9
powers. Didn't your Reverence, yesther- q
day, in your salmon, tell us that if we re- :
sist lie diviI he'll flee from us? Now If l =
resist my wife she flies at me-" 7
PUTTING IT SrRoNo.--An impatient Il
TeIshman called to his wife. ''coine. O
;ome, isn't breakfast ready? I've had 6
,othng since yesterday. and to-monO" &
yill be the third day. This is equal to the c
all of the stirring housewife who aroused n
.er maid al ! oclock with. come Bridg- II
{, get up! Hee tits Monday morning; t.
. morrow's Tuesday, next days Wednes-
ay--half the week gone-and nothing p
one yet. III