Ashtabula weekly telegraph. [volume] (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1853-1873, 1859-11-12

BEILY.-What on earth make mans bel
ly grow three or four times as large as it
eught to be, and not any Of the rest Of his
body-for my part can't see. Why don't
mans nose grow so ? Why don't the
other animals grow so That's what I'd
like to know. Laugh and grow fat Z" l
say, grow fat and be laughed at. The hu-
man form divine indeed Adam wouldn't
recognize me as a fellow man, if was in
troduced TO him with these hoops on. As
some one said, it seemed as though | had
stopped growing for time, aud when |
commenced again, grew the wrong way.
I've tried everything to stopit. I've drank
green ale I've slept on my face. I've
dieted. I've tried buckles and straps !;
but who can sleep on his face, or go with
out his victuals, or be strapped up so tight
he can't whistle I'm not respected on
the street. No longer ago than yesterday,
going along the street, an lmpudent school
boy ran up by my side, kicked up his heels
and squealed like pig,-then off before
me. i pretended that took no notice of
it, but hang the young rascal, if I'd got
my hands on him, I'd cuffed his impudence
out of him. A boy wouldn't aGy more
dared to do that when | went to school
then he'd have struck selectman /; nut
you might as we'll try to find lost sleeve
button. as to find boy now-a-days. We
don't have any boys. Im open to every
bedys jokes, high and low. Every time
there's city eletcion, hundred. or more
tell me that should be made an alderman
Billings calls me Mr.. o. aud then they all
laugh. Day before yesterday that con-
founded Tinkham commenced running me
before the whole board, telling them that
an itinerant monkey jumped upon me in
the street, thinking my stomach was his
masters hand organ, and wanting to know
how got into bed, and if they didn't roll
me up on skids. / could have clawed his
ewes out, bRt l had to laugh with the rest.
That raan Jokes too much. I'll bet a sup
per that more than FIVE hundred have ask
ed me this last year chow much / weigh" "
What business iSlt to them, how much |
weigh I? Do they want to buy me And
then everybody asks me if I'm not come
of the Dutch, if don't eat too much !
1t makes me so mad. Come of the Dutch,
when my names the purest English ever
spoken Waddle | eat what please,
that's what / eat can o man starve 2
Then some Of them want to know if was
always SO if was fat boy. When
was boy / was as thin as mans hand
there wasn't hoy could jump farther OF
climb tree quicker, than |, within twenty
miles. was thin enough then, but since
Eve swelled from the new to the full moon
I met one Of my old sehoo-mates the other
dav he new me when was lean enough
and must speak Of it, and give me punch
with his fist, and say was like the man in
Shakespeare had achieved greatness
~ would were boy again" III be as
lean as telegraph pole, and as tail, too, il
could get rid of this thorn in the flesh
Pm told to exercise, to take run before
breakfast. Run | haven't run step
for Rlteen years How can run Pit hall
Rilis me to walk down hill I've slipped
down on the ice though, but | didn't get
over II all winter l dou't enjoy riding
either supposing should be thrown from
q wagon 1t makes me quake to think
Of it, what sight and mass l should be
OIL o I I'd swap it off for hump on tht
back, if could it's bad enough to b'
hunch-baeked, but il is a worse thing 10 b
hunch-bellied. The future is dark to me
my body casts a shadow over it all
gather size IKE rolling SNOWFALL. Blu
suit yourself Pm independent of You,
if it's any satisfaction 10 you, why the
grow, grow, grow