The Tiffin weekly tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1859-1868, 1859-08-26

AHt hleh ehhcu tilt tuatlct What Waa
to pay,
Nothing at all, nothing at all, you arc
Welcome, Il il will do you any goot.
a lauahable circumstances once took
place upon trial In Lancashire, where
Mr. Wood was examined az a witnoss.--
Upon giving HE name--Oitiwell Wood
the Judge, addressing the reverend parson
said. pray Mr. Wood, how DO you spell
your numc" The old gentleman rSpli-
ed;
30 double T,
I double u,
y double l.,
Double u,
Double o, d."
Upon which the astonished lawyer laid
down his pen, saying that 10 was the most
extraordinary name he ever met in his life
and after two OF three attempts declared
he was unable to torecordit it. The Court wac
oonvulsed with laughter.
ANEcDorE OF GovERScs SEwARD.-
Cozzcns, In his last Wine Press, tells an
old story, which he says, few persons
have heard. When Governor Of New
York, Seward, in those pre-railrOad days,
had occasion 70 visit certain part Of the
State, and, accordingly, mounted upon the
box Of the mnil-coach, in order that he
might enjoy his cigar aud the scenery
The driver was an inqusitive fellow, and
his passenger humored him.
Gland ngentl' said the driver.
"No," quoth Seward,
"Selling goodsw
emo"
"Circus"
"No."
"What, thenW said the bafIlcd driver,
"what is your businessl'
"Governor," replied Seward, with
tranquil puff
"Goyernor o. whatl"
"Governor Of the State of New York;
replied the smoking passenger, with COM
posure.
"Get outl"
"Well, | can convince you Of that"
said Seward, "for here is a man on the
road with whom am acquaint ID Rnd,as
the stage passed by, he saluted him;
l"Good morning, Mr.. Bunker, | want 20
ask you question---Hm not tie Gov
ernor of the State of New YorkW
"No, by thunder" was Bunker's unez-
pected answer.
"Who is, thenl" said the startled smok-
err
"Thurlow WeedI"
THE DoCToR OUTw1rrEp.-When Dr..
Dodge, an eclectic physician was lectur-
ing through the State on the laws Of
health, and particularly on the evils Of
tea and coffee, he happGaud TO meet, one
morning, at the breakfast table, a witty
son of Erin, Of the better class Couver-
sation turned on the doctors fayOrite sub
jeoti he addressed our Irish friend, as FOL.
lowsi
Perhaps you think that / would be un-
able 10 convince you Of the doleterious ef-
fects Of tea and coifeeY
Il don't know said Erin, 'but I'd like
to be there when you do itP ar
J Well said the doctor, IL ! convince
you that they are injurious to your health
J willyou abstain from their user
D Sure and will, siT.'
How often do you use coffee and tear
asked the doctor.
Morning and night, cir. ,r.
'Woll,' said the doctor, do you ever ex-
lperience a slight dizziness Of the brain on
going 10 body
4 doi indeed do replied Erin.
And a sharp pain through the temples,
in and about the eyes, in the morningP
'Troth I do, sir
WELL said the doctor, with an air Of
confidence and assurance Of hia manner,
that is the tea and coffee
Il is, indeedl Faith and I always tho't
Il was the whiakey l drank
The company roared with laughter and
the doctor quietly retired. II He was beat
cd.
STANDING BY AIs FRiENps.-In the flush
times Of Vieksburgh, when the phrase
hard cases meant something more than
il does now, Harvey Jenkins was admit
ted one the hardest By strange ncci-
dent Harvey found himself az church one
morning. The sermon being over, the
preacher requested all who Sere friendly
to religion TO rise up and hold np their
right hand. The whole audience appar-
emily were on their feet. Aller they were
seated again the minister continued;
Nov if there is a single one here who
desires TO see Satan and bic Kingdom
prosper, he viii rise and bold up his
hand
Harvey with some difficulty got 20 an
erect position and said;
Had the vote been less unanimous, /
should have retained my seat, but make
il point Of honor never 70 sbaudou
frihed under adverse circumstanoes-t
pKRsoNAt.-Soon afer the expiration
Of the term Of his oiiice ~ Secretary 0fl
State, J. II. Baker, Esq, removed % MIN
nesota; and we see that the Repahlioan
Convention Just held al st. Paul, hna hon.
ored linn with nomination for BecrOtn-
lry Of State Of Minnesota.
ARrEsIAN WELL.---IAe siCus lof waicr
In the Aftesian wen are most checfiilQ.
the augur having struck The sdndsloue Al
the depth Of 1914 feet, and pehelfalsa 4
feet, making tho total depth of thc well
1888. The hnrings seem % wash away
lin some unaccountable manner, as th0'
lpump brings nothing hul tleat Wsfar D.
lthe gHiaees- Ce'uslbes yoerRe' 81,