The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1859-02-05
Legal Anecdotes.
From Chambers Edinburgh Journal

D
]
Prom Chamber. Edinburgh journal.
Al the Cambridge Spring Asslzes, 1888, u
person was accused Of stealing a watch from
the bedroom Of Mr., George Payuter at Wal
| lingham, Camhridgeshire and ON the Trial,
the following little conversation took place
during the cross examination Of the proseeu-
tor,
Counsel. "Where do you live P"
llnHess AT WalHagham but am not
a Welingham man"
"What are you |
"An engineer, was apprenlIoed 70 Hen
ry Maudesl0y partner 10 Sir lsambert Brunei
Of Thames Tunnel nptodsW,"
"Well, what else are you P"
why I am guHsmth, locksmilh, and
bell'hanger, iron arm aud lathe maker edge
tool maker watch and clock maker and r..
paireri mathematical instrument maker 8
wriFhngmachlne, scale and steelyard MAX
eri kniie-maker and grinder publican and
licensed yictualleri and an old-man-ofwatA
man,
Are you not a eonjurer as well P"
30 yes that nm and II YOU are willing,
/ will show you one or two Of my tricks"
"What can you o9"
"Well, Il YOU will allow me, and not con
slider ! am insulting ! viii tell YOU"
ooh, eertainyI go on"
"lhen, II you will just take on your wig
aud get the gentleman next 10 you TO grease
your head will swallow you whole, and
then you will be no moro trouble TO yourself
nor to any one else"
Counsel "You may sit down, sir"
We give another incident Of more recent
date, (ls50) IN which the witness was a eler-
gyman
Scene, a crowded courts trial, an action
on the warranty Of horse, commonly called
horse cause Witness, a Clergyman, who
has sworn in his examination in chief that in
his opinion the horse was sound.
Counsel "Well, you don't know anything
about horses You're parson, you know
Witness. 81 have good deal Of knowledge
respecting horses"
Counsel. "You think YOU have, dorosay.
hut We may think otherwise. ! wonder, now
whether you know the difference between a
horse and q cow
/ Witness "Ycs. | darcsny do"
/ Counsel, ,"Now then, sir, tell the jury
the difference that exists between a horse aud
a cow"
/ lIiHess. "Gentlcmcn, one great differ
encc between these two auim4i ~ +'4t one
has horns and the other has not--much the
same difference, gentlemen, that exists be-
tween a bull and a 6uliy," Cunning to coun-
selJ Goars Of y lighter, judge joinins)
Germanc tolhc facelin Of witnesses them
selves, are larkhable remarks made by jud.
ges and counsel upon innocent answers 10
no less innocent questions. At such witty
replies, perhaps, tho greatest adept was the
I late excellent judge, Mr. Baron Altcrson.--
Very seldom indeed did any trial Of slight or
OF fsF5iyE ,zts F.zezaz=if4--li4t,,.
in which the audience was not eonyulscd
/ With laughter at some extraordinary remark
emanating from the judge, We do not for q
moment attempt 10 defend the learned baron
from the charges which have perhaps very
properly been brought forward against him
of doing away with that dignity which is so
great an ornament to the bench bu, we
consider that the jokes having been made,
and being some Of them pretty good, We arc
doing no harm in retailing them.
A prisoner was once tried before the Bar
on for stealing a saw, and in his defence urged
that &c only took it in joke.
"And pray, prisoner, how far might YOU
carry il from the prosecutors house? p asked
the Judge.
perhaps two miles, my lord"
"Ah, chat was carrying joke a good deal
too far; so the sentence Of the court upon
you is etc. etc.
Another time we rccollcct a juryman beg
ging TO be excused from attention, on the
ground of deafness.
yoa can hear me speak, . said bis
lordshp.
That's true enough, my lord but have
to turn my head round very awkwnrdly, for
am quite deaf with one co.,"
"Oh, then, certainly, sir, you are excused,
replied the baroni with mock solemnilyi "a
juryman ought, undoubtedly, to hear 6oG
sides"
The judge we are speaking Of had in gen
eral, very profound dislike to scentif,
Witnesses, especially of the medical profession
called upon to give an opinion upon the evi
dence they had heard in courts and he rare
ly failed in proposing some curious questions
to them, which eventually proved hoorer
! At one time he took up the assertion of AT
eminent medical practitioner, that "in all cas-