davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1859-05-11
sc Pick up de Stobe.1

A correspondent, writing from Washington,
Pa, says;
dLike most other small towns, We have
here "cullered church, where great many
amusing things are said, exhilarating to the
spirits Of few who occasionally visit our
"Hayti'' meeting houses. Hayti" is the
name given to that part Of the town where
"p ssons of color" reside. One winter eve.
ming, when the "cullered preacher was in the
midst of his sermon, making a most violent
if not most eloquent appeal to his hearers,
one of the stove legs fell out, and, as a natu-
raj consequence, the red hot stove tipped over
at an angle alarmingy suggestive of fire.
The audience of course commenced crowding
out of the door like sheep. But the preacher
was equal to the occasion. Addressing one
of his prominent members, be cried out
"Pick up de stobe, brudder Bolah pick
up de stobe! De Lor won't let it burn you !!
Only hab faith!"
Poor brother Bolah had unfortunately too
much faith, and Immediately seized it, all
glowing as it was but no sooner had his Tin.
gers come in contact with the fervent iron,
than he dropped it again, and dancing around
on one foot blowing his skinless fingers, he
exclaimed, with all the energy which he could
throw into his voice
"De aeLil he WON'T De debl he won't!"
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1859-05-11
How 7Hr PnorsssJR cor our or THE WELL

How THE PRofsssUR cor ORR OF THE WILL
"A few years ago, Prof. - of Bowdoin
College, was overseer oil the building of the
High School house, in Brunswick, Me. In
the cellar of the same was well, walled with
brick, whose sides were consequently smooth.
One day, being left alone in the building, he
went down to the cellar, and in haste, uncon.
sciously attempted to walk over the well, and
as rnconsciously fell into it. Here was
prsdicament for any one possessing no more
Immortality than q college professor; stand.
ing in FIVE feet of water-at the bottom of
we'll sixteen feet. deep-at the bottom of
deep celar-with no soul in hearing distance!
After shouting himself hoarsc, he bethought
himself of piece of chalk-a remnant of
the last recicntion-whch he applied to the
walls to solve his situation. The statement
of the question was-let equal how shall
get OUT y equal depth Of water; equal dis
tance to the water, ,--and by means of his
knowledge Of Algebra, he actually worked
himself out, wonderfully showing the power of
mathematics.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1859-05-11
Pretty Fair.

DR.. Nichols, writing from Mobile to the
Boston Pilot, concludes as follows:
"If I could only bring all Northern and
Southern men together, and get them to know
each other, all their bitterness would be at an
end. If Greely, and Seward, and Phillips,
and Garrison, could but live here and know
these psoplc, how different would be their Ian.
guasc in regard to them, ltpeak, Of couraa,
upou The suppositlon that they arc all honest,
and not utterly fanutical and insane. l do
not shut thy eyes to the faults of the South.
erners or the South. have no mission to he
the rptimist, or prupagandist, or even the de-
fender of the peculiar institution, in the alb.
stract or the concrete. But 1 do say that
would sooner trust this whole question to the
generous good hearts of the South, than to
the fanatical phariseeism of the North"
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1859-05-11
The Point Of n Speech Spoiled.

A good story is told by somebody of the
manner in which member of the Legislature
of one of the New England States was "suld'
by wag lately. The Legislator it seem, was
in the habit when speaking upon any subject
in which he was deeply interested, of playing
with his spectacles, which he would twirl
around in his fingers, then lay them down,
and finally place them on his nuse, and remove
them from that position to the top of his fore.
head. One day very important question
came up in the Legislature, ard the fdgety
gentleman began a speech iu opposition to
the proposed measure. A friend to the pro.
jcct, who was somewhat Of o wag, determined
that he would spoil the effect of what the
honorable gentleman had to say. So before
the speaker entered the house, after recess,
he provided himself with "a dozen pair OF
spectacles. The member commenced his
speech with his usual ability. But few mo.
meuts elapsed, befure he was at work with his
spectacles, and finally got them upon his
forehead. At this juncture, our wag, who
stood ready, laid another pair on the desk be.
fore the speaker. These were taken, and
gradually gained place un his forehead BY
the side OF the Others A third, fourth, and
fifth we're disposed Of in the same manner.
A smile settled upon the counte,lnnces of the
honorable members, which gradually lighted
up in Il grin, and ut last, when the speaker
had warmed up into one of his most patriotic
and elegant sentences, he deposited sixth
pair with the others, there was o loud and long
peal of laughter from all parts Of the room.
President. clerks, members, all joined in the
chorus. The speaker looked around in as.
tonishmont at. this curious interruption; but
raising his hand, he graspea hin spcctaulcs,
and the xhnle fnrce ofshn joke Tuskeli upun
his mind, lie dBshed The glassrt upon the
flour, took bis hat aud lett the hall, The bill
vas passed by q large MINORITY, probably in
conseqhence Of the gentlem"n's silly md uss'
less habit,
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1859-05-11
sEcRgr-Neiphbor Wilson

KEEPING STANDARDIZATION Wilson
caught a cooper stealing some hooP-poles
which he had just got ready for market. The
cooper was astounded, and offered Farmer W.
ten dollars not to mention the fact, which pro
position, duly backed by the money, was ac'
cepted. But that same evening, when Mr.;
Wilson, the cooper, and lot Of their mutual
neighbors. were talking politics at the village
grocery, the former turned to friend and
asked
"Did ever tell you, neighbor jerks, that
caught the cooper here stealing my hoop
polesy' -, -.
The cooper betrayed his guilt by blushing
crimson, and the party addressed declared, in
reply
"You never did y
"Well, then, added Mr.. Wilson, I never
will, for promised him wouldn'tF
The next day, first'rste cooper settled in
q peighboring village.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1859-05-11
S&lett 4p&trg,
From tho Southern Literary Messenger.
WiIlie...M me in Heaven!"

SWllllc...Meet me In aeaFen!"
It was morn in Spring
The flowers were dressed in all their brightest bloom
Shedding their fragrance through the darkencd room
Where Death stood lingering.
young disciplelay
With folded arms upon her dying bed,
And friends drew with light and noiseless tread
To hear tho sufferer pray.
"Sariour" she whispered low,
"Lst me thy blessed will, in faith obey,
And guard my spirit, as it scars away,
But heal his fearful woe!
"Soothe all his grief and pain
Let him with Faiths consoling hopes be blest,
And guide him to thy house of blissful rest,
Where We may meet again."
Then turning to those near,
She waved hor hand-and with busecching tone,
She asked that sho might now be left alone
With the chief mourner, there.
And as, with anguish bowed
lie kuelt beside her bed, nnd heard her speak
Her last farewell, and kissed her fading cheek,
Calmly, sho said aloud
"Willie my race is run
And now am to leave this earthly sphere
This world of sin and sorrow, pain and care
My work on earth is done.
"Meet me in that bright land
Where grief no more shall come, and troubles cease
Where dwelleth holiness, and love, and peace,
And joy at Gods right hand.
"May grace to thee be given
To follow me, to purer worlds away
Ny Saviour calls me home-I cannot stay
WILLIE MEET Ne IN HEAVEN.
CLAUDE.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1859-05-11

A CHRrsT-LIKE SESrIMENT.-Rev. DR..
Johns, an Episcopal clergyman in Baltimore,
saws of excessive denominationalism,
F." Wherever this goes beyond love for FOULS,
something is wrong. So fearful am ] Of this
spirit, that have been accustomed for years,
in passing house Of other denomination
than my own, to lift my heart to God in
prayer for that minister and his people"
DR.. Johns was in the prime of his useful
ness, say between 40 and SO, when, on Good
Friday, he was cut off by the hand Of death.
The man may die, but so true Christian
CHARITY truth 30 exalted and SO well ex-
pressed, ought to live forever, both in our
appreciation and our practice.-New York
EXPRESS.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1859-05-11

WHEN the Earl of Bradford was brought
before the Chancellor to be examined upon
application for statute of lunacy against
him, the Chancellor asked him;
elbow many legs has sheep?"
"Does your lordship meau," answered
Lord Bradford, "alivc sheep or a dead sheep?'
"Is it not the same thing ?" said the Chan.
cellor.
"No, my lord" said Lord Bradford, "there
is much difference. A live sheep may have
four legs, dead sheep has but two; the two
fore.legs are shoulders, but there are but two
legs of mutton"
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1859-05-11

WHAT THEY WON'T OWN To.-A witty writer
says: "There are several things which you
never can by any accident get u lady-be she
young or old-to confess to-" Here are some
of them THAT she laces tight. That her
shoes are too small for her. That she is ever
tired at ball. That she paints. That she
is as old as she looks. That she has been
more than five minutes dressing. That she
kept you waiting. That she blushed when q
certain persons name was mentioned. That
she ever says a thing she doesn't mean. That
she is fond of scadal. That she cant keep a
secret. That she-she of all persons in the
worlds in love. That she doesn't want a
new bonnet That she can do with one single
thing less when she is about to travel That
she hasn't the disposition of an angel, or the
temper of saint, or how else could she 20
through one half she does? That she doesn't
know better than every one else what is best
for her. That she is airt or coquette. That
she is ever in the wrong.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1859-05-11
Chess Literature..Light Wanted.

A new species of Literature Inns arisen,
claiming no small space aud making no small
stjr,it the world. This Literature lymblea
anil p.rplexesus, siIts it r. euiistafitfy
Us Of our ignorhnce, and suggests the retec.
ton that nur ignorance may be tiepriving us
Of very pure and solid enjoyment. We
take up our Courier in the morning and fire.
quenlly our eyes ARE arrested bylwv columns,
more or less uf strunge names, uncouth
llieroglyphics, and curious directions, as Tin.
iutelligibl. to us " the Inscriptions on an old
Egyptian tuinl, or OIL slab ju-t dry from
the ruins of Nineval. Our Greek, We blush
to confess is rusty, and our Latin sadly in
decay, but we could better manage two COL
umns oi Greek or Latin over our coffee, than
these chess columns. What shall We do2
Will some minislering broth, r, or some good
deacon, who has been Initiated into there
mysteries enlightcn us2 Shall We advertise
for chess teacher. and address onr>elve, TO
the work Of mastering this subject We
have read how r bert Hall, at quite an ad.
yanced period Of his life, commenced the
study Of Spanish that he might erjny Don
Quixute in the original. Though getting
towards that stage in the jpurney Of life,
~uell uOto Cdlc " tclt uON tidIlt
mile stones are tebIl, We still would lie
willing to attack this Chess Scence, under
the confident advice Of judicious and pious
friends. Will it pay? Will it improve our
preaching, or advance our spiritusllty7 Il
it desirable to open chess column in tho
Southern Buptistf
Now, seriously, We would like to know tie
honest estimate Of tliis game, as arrived at
in the experience Of some candid and earnest
Christian man. Is it upon the Whole harm
less and useful recreation2 The Importance
which this game is assuming will render ne-
ces,ary the discussion Of this question. We
are in profound ignorance and would Judge
no man and no thing in advance, aid without
adequate information. Our personal expert
ence in this department i, limited to Fo4 and
Geese, and Checkers or D,anyhts. The for
n.er is sublime for cl.ih'rcn; the latter, in
our judgment, if not sevrr.ly to be condemn
ed, is not much to be colnmend-d.-Southpra
| BaptiSt,
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1859-05-11
feiter, as terror renewed partially the power

feiter, as terror renewed partially the power
of speech.
"Mercy |" cried the mother and Eliza sever.
al rods distant from the awful spot.
Gall ready!" said the executioners perched
in the magnolia, tightening the fatal cord.
"Then-" But the captains voice was
drowned in those screams for mercy" and
by a sudden shock of air, more terrible still,
and far more difficult to withstand
"Boom boom |" loud and heavy, two re-
ports, that roared almost together pealed from
the door of the log cabin. The girl Mary had
begun her work.
The commencing sentence died on the cap
tain's livid lip. He fell to the earth ghastIy
corpse, his head torn to pieces with bullets
and buck-shot, for the heroine had taken aim
with double-barrel gun, and had given the
enemy both loads at once.
"Boom boom! !" sounded two others, as
the panic-stricken lynchers fled away in the
most hopeless CONSERVATION, leaving on the
bloody field, besides their dead captain, sever
al others badly wounded, and many Of their
weapons cast behind them in their fight
Ind. ed, so thorough was their alarm, that they
dared not return to their horses, or to bear off
their slain, until they had first sent back q
committee of neighboring females to crave
permission in the humblest of terms.
In the meantime, the short, sharp cracks
of several rifles were heard. Mary was en-.
deavoring to bring down the two lynchers in
the magnolia: who had hastily ascended high
er up, and hidden deeper in the thick foliage
themselves now crying for "mercy" in their
turn.
Through the interposition of the counter
feitcr, his wife and the elder daughter, the
backwoods "IMllerUa" was finally induced to
spare the rest.
The news of this tragedy created, as may
we'll be conceived, a tremendous excitement,
and led to the abolition oflynching forever in
the prairie land of Jasper; for the people,
everywhere, are always certain to take sides
with extraordinary bravery, and, although the
friends of the old regime of violence managed
to have an indictment returned by the grand
Jury against Mary Silmore for the murder Of
Mays, she was acquitted afterwards on trial,
amidst the acclamations of five hundred spec.
tators. Much greater interest was manifested
in her favor, owing to the general belief that
she was not appriscd of her fathers fellonious
practices. The female members of the fami-
iy had been popular all the while, even when
the counterfeiter himself was universally exc.
Grated.
As we are not dealing in fiction, but naked,
uuadorned truth, proven and sworn in q court
of Justice we cannot CRAFTY the readers curl
osity by any additional particulars as to the
subsequent history of Mary Silmore. The
writer shortly afterwards emigrated to Texas,
and has not since heard aught from one whose
beautiful image rises up often before the eye
of memory.
Why is "truth stranger than fiction ~
Because truth is from the wild, passionate,
living heart, while fiction is forged in the cold
crafty intellect. The one is wrought in figures
Of FIRE the other in embroidery of frost.work.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1859-05-11


JuDGE JOHN A. CAMPBELL ON THE SLAVE
TRADE AND FILL1BusTERIsM.-Hon. John A..
Campbell, Judge of the United States Circuit
Court, says the New Orleans Bulletin, deliv.
cred charge to the Grand Jury ut the open
ing of the Court for the Southern District ut.
Alabama, at Mobile, on Tuesday last. the 18th
inst, which is one of the ablest and most de.
cided that we have ever read. 1t is devoted
exclusively 10 the Slave Trade and Fiilibuster.
ism. and re.asserts moro puntedly and EN-.
phatically than before all the general positions
which the same fearless, honest aud indepen.
dent Jurist assumed in reference TO these sub.
jects in his charge to the Grand Jury at the
same place some months ago. His charge
occupies three columns in the Mobile Adver.
tiser, and was delivered rs the papers there
inform us, with an earnestness that ELECTED
profound attention. The Judge is thoroughly
in earnest, and intends that 40 far as it de.
pends on him the law shall be fully executed
in letter and spirit. That this course Of Judge
Campbell will raise him in the estimation OF
the great mass of respectable and intelligent
citizens of the country. South and North,
East, and West, irrespective Of party. cannot
he for q moment doubted. He has shown
himself the incorruptible aud the fearless
Judge, who plainly lays down the laws and
calls upon his sworn co.associates to perform
their whole duty in executing them 10 their
fullest extent He examines the Slave irnde
and he finds it in fact, as we'll as In the opin.
ions of the great men of the country, past
and resent, North and South, as well i'll the
words they have uttered in regard to it, as the
laws they have helped to frame to crush, it 10
partake of the nature of piracy, and he so re-
CARDS it. He quotes the language of many
distinguished Southern men, refers to the trea'
ties of all civilized nations for the purpose OF
suppressing it, and to the rigor of the laws Of
the United Safes to the same end, aud declares
that "the public conscience has sanctioned
the ricor of the laws,
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1859-05-11
Parody on Ben Bolt.

Oh, don't you remember the b'hoys, Jim Holmes
The b'hoys with nosss 90 red?
Who drank with delight wherever they met,
And always went drunk to bed:
In tho old graveyard, in the edge of the town,
In corners obscure and alone,
They have gone to rept; for the gay young aprig'
Have dropp't of, one by one.
Oh, don't you remember the jug, Jim Holmes,
And the spring at the foot Of the hill
Where oft We baro lain, thro' the hot sum'r hour
And drank to our utmost fill
The spring is filed with mud, Jim Holmes,
And the wild hogs root all around,
And the good old jug, with its whiskey so sweet,
Lies broken and spilled on the ground.
Oh, don't you remember the tavern, Jim Holmes,
And the bar-keeper kind and true,
And the little nook at the end of the bar,
Where We drank the wine that he drOw:
The tavern is burned to the ground, Jim Holmes,
The bottles are cracked and dry,
And Of all the b'hoys who spreed it then,
Thore remains, Jim, but you and L
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1859-05-11

WONDERS OF THE HEAET.-You may go
into ball room, writes the author of Hu.
man Nature" where there ore two hundred
woman. One hundred and ninety-nine of
them you will pass with as much indifference
as one hundred and ninety-niue pulets, but
the two hundredth draws you irresistibly to
her. There are hundred handsomer and
ninety.nine cleverer ones present, but she alone
has the magnet that attracts you. Now what
is the magnet? Is it her voice that strikes
on thousand and one chords of your nerv.
Gus system, and makes it vibrate as sound
does hollow glass? Or do her eyes affect
you so that you have no time to reflect, and
no opportunity for your head to digest the
notions they have pnt into it2 Or is it ani-
na' magnetism, o. vbst 10 the plague u IT.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1859-05-11

A PR1sTER's ANEcDoTE.-It used to be re-.
lated of Corporal Nymn, printer, well knows
for many years in this town as being, more
remarkable for his odd humor than the length
of his purse, thatwhile be was travelling from
Lowell to Boston, he was met by o highway
man, who politely (as is the custom OF those 9,
gentry demanded his purse. My dear sir"
quoth Corporal Nymn, 81 perceive you don't
know me ~ "rhat is nothing to the purpose,
sir, give up your purse Immediately" deman,
ded the highwayman. Th. Corporal repeated
with earnestness which could not be misun.
derstood, -" Positively you don't know me-"
"Well," said the highwayman, somewhat sur
prised at the manner of the Corporal, "who
the devil are you?" "Why, I'm printer"
"a printer did you say! Whew!-lm Off
dry picking "-LoaueI paper.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1859-05-11
Presence of Mind and Common Sense.

If man faints away, says Halls Journal
of Health, instead Of yelling out like savage,
or running to him to lift him up, lay him ut
full length on his back, Oh the floor, loosen
The clothing, push the crowd away, so as to
allow the air to reach him, and let him alone.
DaShing water over person in simple
fainting fit is barbarity. The philosophy of
a faintimg fit is that the heart fails to send the
proper supply of blood to the BRAIN if the
person is erect, that blood has to be thrown
up hill, but if lying down it has 10 be projec-
ted horizontally, which requires less power,
as is apparent.
If person swallows poison deliberately or
by chance, instead of breaking out into multi.
tudinous or incoherent exclamstions, dispatch
some one for the doctor; meanwhile run to
the kitchen, get half a glass of water in any:
thing that is handy, put Tito it a teaspoonful
of salt and as much ground mustard, stir it
in au Instant, catch firm hold ofthe PERSONS
nosej the mouth will soon fly open-then
down with the mixture; and in q second or
two up will come the poison. This will an.
swer better in large number of cases than
any other. If BY this time the physician has
not arrived, make the patient swallow the
white of an egg, followed by cup of strong
coffee, because these nullify q larger number
poisons than any other accessible articles as
antidotes for any poison that may remain in
the stomach.
falimb or other part Of the body is severely
cut, and the blood comes out by spurts or
jerks, be in q hurry, or the man will be dead
in five minutes; there is no time to talk or
send for physician-say nothing; out with
your handkerchief, throw it around the limb,
tie the two ends together, put stick through
them, twist it around tighter and tighter, until
the blood ceases to flow. But to stop it does
no good. Why? Because only severed
artery throws blood out iu jets, and the arteries
get'their blood from the heart henee tostop
the flow the remedy must be applied between
the heart and the wounded spot-in other
words, above the would. Ii a vein had been
severed, the blood wound have flowed i'll a
regular stream, and, on the other hand, the
tie should be applied below the wound, or on
the other side OF the wound from heart {;
because the blood in the veins flow towards
the heart, and there is no need Of so great II
hurry.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1859-05-11

"HoLD on p,R, BRUDDER MosE I"-The
Piqua Register has the following in recent
issue, which we suppose to be perfectly relia'
BILE:
Quite a revival is now in progresa at the
African Church in this city. We were pres.
ent few evenings since, and witnessed, with
much qualification, their earnest devotion in
the good cause. All seemed to feel the need
of a more thorough reformation. Of the in
cidents consequent, we cannot fail to note
one. A brother was supplicsting the throne
of grace eloquently, wien another brother
called out, in stentorian voice:
"Who dat praying ober dar?"
The response was
"Dat's brudder Nose"
Hold on dar, brudder Mose!n was the
dictum of the former, you let brudder Ryan
pray; he's better 'quaiuted wild de Lord dan
you amW
Brudder Nose dried up, and brudder Ryan
prayed. 1t would be we'll for persons better
acquainted with the Lord" to lead iu prayer
at some other nesiyA reetissa j.