The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1859-03-23

habitual silence. so mournful to contem
plate, and the cause of so much diurnal
and nocturnal inconvenience to its fair
owner, will all be corrected and remov-
ed, and that shall enjoy the proud pre-
emineuce Of receiving your diffusive
gratitude, such as might call up the
cbivalry of a dead Knight-errant, and
rouse his ambition to win your magni-
tudinous favor. and acknowledge his
highest reward TO be the privilege Of his
lips touching the usual contents of your
glove. In regard to your wish that
should give my certificate that the watch
10 an EXACT TINE PIECE, will unhesita.
tingly aver that when it runs or is car.
ried it will undoubtedly keep some kind
of time, and that 1t VIII lioId up It's
hands as silent witnesses to its being
correct twics every twenty -four hours,
but to use your own concise language,
the material internal arrangement OF
the machinery and original Effectiveness
being the cause Of its stoppage and va
ria,ions," it will never probably reach
that point Of perfection by which you
will regulate the rising and setting OF
the sun, or to call up the moon at plea
sure to gaze upon because there is a
man it.
As you fear to trust any "unde,ling
in the business in which I am 80 hon.
orably engaged" I will assure you that
none of my apprentices, jolrneymen,
associates or partners ever gave any
thing but entire satisfaction to a watch
or its feminine owner: and that no sac.
rilegious hand shall touch your treasure,
but that it shall be restored to you
with all of its wheels, hsir-springs, etc.,
all as you wish, and not otherwise. to
your own arms-or to the care Of you,
faithful agent.
l amputated its hands, took off its
face E; separated its attachments in.
deed I completely undressed the dear
creature, spread out its most secret ar.
rangement of wheels, pins, plugs and
cavities. applied prepared chalk, and
then friction by stiff bristle brush until
every part shined SO brightly that you
and 1 could have seen our blue, black
or any other colored eyes. reflected from
the FURNISHED brass, that ever returns s
persona; reflection as compliment tc
the modes y before it. l adjusted all o.
its limbs again in perfect order. scrut''
nized every part aud screw with the
most scrutinizing scrutiny, and hav.
endeavored to make it keep time TO til.
beating Of your heart, unless sometime.
some emotions may somewhat accelera,,
your warm blood, in which case yor
may rely upon your "rs-crystalizee
cylindrical" friend as keeping its ow,
counsel and time in the plentilude Of il
| own confidence, or perhaps it will warn
i.sssn its exn hear! BY nesting with eongsnia
bosom. l admire your letter. its CO
pious language, its correctness in all the
minor details of punctuation, &C., tina
make the character of literary lady
whose strength of mind and nativ,
energy compel her to be "strong mind
ed"
CaHuOt ciOsc Inl6 COIuu uulCatlOl
without first making one slight, and a
I deem it, reasonable request, that yo,
will address me again either by mail 0
otherwise, as YOU may see fit, and lie
me know how the dear cylindrical darl
ing performs. and especially whether
you receive it safe and sound from tn,
hands of your agent. OF course yo'
must see that am anxious to hear soon
and at the same time to know how or il
what way can send an answer thereto
and l will further add that in case tn
watch should stop seemingly of its owl
accord. or by some accidental fall, o
even by your forgetting to wind it VI
at any time, please return it with your
self in person, and will engage to max
up to you all loss and trouble which yo'
may suffer in consequence. in whateve
jewelry you may sele It aud choose at
slight advance "below cost"
Yours. &C., c..
Curious Facts.