The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1859-03-09
Destruction Railroad.

The Directors take pleasure in reassur.
ing their numerous friends and patrons,
that the Road to ruin is now in good or.
der. Within the last three months it has
carried moro than three hunared tho,ls.
ami passengers clear through from the
town of Temperance to the city of Des.
truction, while the number Of way passen.
gers is encouraging.-An enormous
amount of freight such as mechanics tools
household furniture, and even whole farms.
have gone forward and the receipts Of
the year have been SO large that the Dir.
ectors have resolved to declare dividend
oil i've hundred per cent, The tract has
been much improved, and relaid with
Messrs Diabolus < Co.'s, patent rail.
The grades are reduced to II dead level,
and the switches are brought to such per-
lection all along the route as to jerk the
cars in 4 moment from the main track. to
avoid collision with the Total Abstinence
engine and the Temperance trains which
have recently occasioned so much trouble.
In short we have spared no expense to
make it superior to any other Road to
Ruin ever established, 1t gives US great
pleasure to call the attention of the public
to the improvements in our engines and
cars. The old favorite Locomotive
A(cohol-has a fre.chamber of double
capacity, and patent-driving wheels after
the fashion of old Juggernaut. Our wine
cars are models of luxurious conveyance,
after the model of the far-famed London
Gin-Palaces, where ladies and children
and gentlemen can have all attention.
10 keep up with the spirit of the times
our whisky, rum and brandy cars have
been greatly enlarged and fare reduced
to half price. Our cider. porter and beer
cars are exciting great attention among
the children. Our experienced engineer
Mr. belial, and our polite and gentlemanly
conductor, Mr.. Mix, have been too lone
known to the travelling public to need any
commentator. Indeed, so swift and
sparkling are our trains through all our
towns and villages, that some have called
1t "The flying artillery of hell let loose
on the EARTH" Tickets must always be
procured of Mr.. Mix. at the Drinker,.
Hotel, where you may see the following
extract from our charter from govern.
ment:
Licensed to make strong man weak.
Licensed TO lay a wise man low
Licensed wife's fond heart 10 brsoL
And make her children's tears 10 fow.
Licensed to do thy neighbor harm
Lcensed to hate and strife;
Licensed to nerve tho robbers arm
Licensed to whet the murderous knife
Licensed where peace and quiet dwell
10 orlng disease and want and wos
Licensed to make this world a hell
ana ut a man for hell below"
REGULATIONS.
The down train leaves Cidervil. at
~, Portertown at A. NJ, Beervile at 3
A. NJ Wineville, at Q A. NJ, Brandy Bor-
rough at 10 A. NJ, and Whisky at 70 NJ.
The speed of the train will be greatly
increased as it proceeds, stopping however.
to land passengers, at Poorh Duseyille
hOspitaitOwn' PrisOnburg, GallOwsville
etc.
On Sunday cars will be ready as usual
for way passengers, until further notica
N. BAH baggage at the risk of the
owners and widows and orphans are par.
teularly requested not to inquire ofor
persons or property at Ruin Depot a. :,
no case the Directors will hold themselva.
liable for accidents to passengers.
WIN. WHOLESALE, Prest.
ROBERT RETAIL, Vice Pre,,t
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"A wac wrote Ovpr tha A..