American Lancaster gazette. [volume] (Lancaster, Ohio) 1855-1860, 1859-07-07
Patent sermon on pixies Peat.
BY DOW. JR.


AT the requsstof brother s. n. Kir.
[Ph@nix Rancho. near lspgo, l viii |
NEEDLE with the following:
''wher de hon scIaseh dar ae speet and de bug.n
My HEARERs:--I am informed that
dark complexioned preacher IN Columbus.
Ohio, once took the above for his text, snd
proved from it that our first parents fell
from an apple tree into mudhole, which |
caused th.ir iTst born TO be as black as
your bat. | am afraid my colored co la.
borer has made much more cut Of it than
| can, for, turn it over, set il upon enc,
spread 1t out after all this old rooster
don't find much to pick at.
In the first place, my brethren. l will
PROFOUND pious conundrum, m,-"Why are
men like warches?" Because you must
look inside Of them ior their good qualities,
and jndge Of them by their works
"Well. my brethren. tbs work of men
and women In general, consists, for the
most part. in scratching, and the prospect
of q big bug is the incentive. You may
notice, my brethren, that whenever hen
makes a scratch, she always gives pick;
but whether she gets bug at every dip is
very uucertain. i imagine not. Never
tbeless, where the ben scratches, there she
expects to find bug.
Expectation is one thing you know, my
friends, and finding another. You may
turn over many stone in this world, and
find no bug after all. Pbrenologically
speaking. the human head is one vast bump
Of expectation and nothing else.
There are various sorts Of hugs, gentle.
$ men,in this buggy sphere. There are..big
bugs, little bugs, tumble bugs, straddle
t bugs. bed bugs, hmm bugs, and bug bears
a But you needn't srralch around much tc
find any OF these; for they ave everywhere
+ thicker than shippers in three year old
i cheese.
+. To find the bug you so earnestly desire
II requires dilligent scratching; and il by Sc
3 doing you don't happen to catch it, 20,
o can comfort yourself with TIE reflection
J. that you put in your best lieks and it ougb
IS TO have been yours. Ita young man take
l. girl around to see his shows, feeds he
l. with tit-bits, and buys her pretty calicoes
her title to a kiss is undisputed- eff
r where a hen scratches there she expects t
Is find a bug"
d The bug that you are all after, m.
ID brethren. is the gold bug, but lacka day
h how many OF you scratch in vain! yet
le is found in manure heap as well as in au
le riferous places. The farmer turns it u
is with his plow, and the gardener with hi
Of spade; and yet, thousands keep scratchin
here and there without finding any bug.
j, A few months ago hundreds of you fe
ar to scratching Frszer's River. expecting I
IN find mighty big bug. Well, you scratch
ed, and seratched-and scratched; an
IN what did you turn out at last?--a mon
r. strous humbug You got frightened an
scrabbled for home vast sight more bug
OF gy than you went--'for where the he
ms scratches there she expects to fed bug.
is Let me make another application OF m
'r- text, my brethren. Beware Of an eily
tongued. sycophanted friend-who is ev,
rd ready to do you small favor--wbo PR
n: fesses willingness to serve you at a
'st times--who praises You as the fox did Il
re COW; fer while lie is "squizzing" himse
into your good graces, be has an eye G
ce your purse--yourself forgetting for the MI
,k ment that where the hen scratches thel
in she expects 10 find bug"
d, Ny friends. bow uneasy is the immo
lis tai mind in its pent up prison Of clay?-
lie How itseems 10 exalt iu its freedom viii
'al winging its way to yon azure field of ligl
Oh and glory. or wandering among the gree
no old bowers Of the past, while none but i
nd self is Permitted to roam.
is What thenmust be its delight when r.
h, leased from its thraldom OF flesh, and l
no longer dependent on bread, beefand pot
nd toes.
he This day will come when liberty, suc
nd as mortals have never yet known, will
elf blissfully realized in The eterIal spher
&C. there where The hen scratches, there 81
i'm expects 10 find a bug" So mote it be.