Staunton vindicator and general advertiser. (Staunton, Augusta County, Va.) 1858-1860, 1859-06-04
A Genius in South Carolina.


An application recently made in Congress
for the renewal of patent of an easy-chair
invented by a citizen of South Carolina,
caused some discussion. during which Mr..
Hale, Of New Hampshire, made hit for
the applicant in the following speech: II
hope this bill will pass. In the first place
[ am very much in favor Of the article that
is patented. It is an easy chair. In the
second place, s. Carolina troubles the Pat
ent Office but very little: and I think it
would be very ungracio,.s to oppose this APP
plication from S. Carolina now. I hope it
will pass"
We wonder if this is the sai1tiie patentee
of whom good Story was quite current
winter before last. Old Judge Evans, the
late Senator from South Carolina, was a
very earnest sincere and venerable old gen.
tleman, who, under an exceedingly gentle,
mild and clerical exterior, concealed some
very decided points ofchafaltcter among; which
was an intense State pride and strong bias
in favor Of the institutions, and even Of the
weakness and defects, cf his old State. To
him; S. Carolina was the beau ideal of every
thing admirable, great and good Her err
rors and defects, were to him, virtues and
endowments. And though it was not in
the nature of the old man to hate anybody
or anything, he cherished decided and
very South Carolinaish repugnance to the
institutions, ideas and customs of New En-
gland. For any Soth Carolinian to possess
any of the qualities, tie Accomplishments or
tastes of tie people at that section, was in
the vieM oftHe old Senst6f, Serious breach
Of faith and duty to his honored and belov-
ed old Palmetto State. Now it happened
that Judge Evans was applied I'd BY 5dung
South Carolinian, who had invented some
ingenious mechanical continuance which he
desired to have patented. The young APP
plicant introduced himself as the son Of an
old friend and fellowparishioner of the Judge
and begged bis favor and aid in obtaining
his letters patent The venerable The SEN
ator, raising his spectacles, and fixing his
eyes in wonder and anazement at the inge-
NOUS Catolinian, in his mild bit emphatic
tone, intertogsted him as follows:
''You are the son Of Col. H, St.
- Parish, South Carolina, Who was
born in tile said parish ~
Il am, sir" promptly and proudly re-
sponded the young gentleman.
"The grandson Of Gen. Il, who
served under Gen; Sumptet III the Revolu-
tionary war y
Eyes sir"
'Your mother was the daughter Of Mrs
| Nancy, who set fire to mansion in
the Revolution to prevent the British occu-
plying ito"
eyes sir, enthusiastically exclaimed the
representative Of one Of Cardinals proudest
families.
And; yoti,' continued the nratrrottiic; old
Senator, ''have been educated at the ---
academy in, and instructed in the
principles, duties and knowledge proper to
your position, your birth and family y
| eyes sir" modestly remarked the now
impatient youth.
''Then SIR exclaimed The Judge, in a
tone Of naughty firmness and indignation
chow dare you to turn your lack upon all
the traditional principles and ideas, and Gus
toms OF your State upon the sentiments and
principles Of your family, your ancestors and
your covntrymen, and degrade yourself to
the level of common Woodeh-nutmeg Van
kee by ihventing machine ?"
The ingenious. but alas high born young
Carolinian was SO affected by the forcible
manner in which his Senator presented the
enormity of his conduct, that he abandoned
his application, and returned to South Car
DINA with view Of standing for Congress
IN his District at the next election. N. d.
Delta
Mrs. PARr1NeroN PsTRfoTic.-" Hur-
rah," said IKE, as he read the fact in the
papers, ''here's Oregon admitted into the
Union" "A Furrincr, | should Judge, :"
remarked Mrs. Partlngton, looked wisely
at the steam chat rose from tie teacups and
formed iii one cloud reas the ceiling, s'huso
continued the cid lady ''Pm' glad they've
let hinY CONS in to enjoy our political rights
and lefts and other perogatives There's
room enough, and the rear Of our. Institutions
should be extended [ don't believe man
should be cut off because he wasn't born in
this country for twenty -ohaf Years, which Of
course wasn't any fault Of, his; everybody
would be born here if they could have their
own auction consulted The odds is only
the difference States or men, It's all the
same. Let EN- come into our grand con-
sternation, where the eagle shall spread his
broad pinians over 'em, and make EN-; happy
in an unlimited bondage-of brotherhood,
like the Simese twins, She had. not. ia.
ken her eyes from the steam chat rose from
tie cups, and joined in one cloud that seem
ed to represent the Union she was, depic-
ting. Ike had a better illustration, for he
took the five pfeservedpeaches on the plate,
and put them all in at once.
GETTING, MARRIED. An aina'o;dote is re-
lated by Mr.. Hale, Of New Hampshire, to
this effect ;-- Z.
IA couple came to me one night, end want
ed me to join them in wedlock.:. consent
ed to perform the ceremony, and said to the
mani. -
."D9 you i* take this woman to be your
wedded wife," u. *.,t: ..:
Certainly, he replied ,.,,...
..Do you take this man to bee your lawful
husband?'
eyes, l do ~. :.
Then you are man and wife that's all F"
Both looked with great establishment, and
the lady asked;
rs that ALP ~.
YES y :, that's a'l l''.,,,.., :, y, ~