Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1859-12-22
9Dit mn Numur.

JOHN fHCBElE IN THE LADIES ChR-5obH
| Phoenix, the inmitable wit thus tells an incl
| dent connected with ride on the New York
Central Railroad. He relates it in letter -
the Knickerbocker Magazine and puts it OF
record to serve as a canton to future limo
cent travellers. He says.
! II had observed at each change of the cars,
and they were frequent, when the genera!
scramble took place, one car was defended
| from the assault by stalwart man, usually
Of stalwart persuasions, who, deal to menaces,
unsoiteued by bribes, maintained his post for
the benefit Of tho leddes."
"Lcddies car, sir, av you please, ferred ca,
! for gentlemen without eddies."
| Need say that this car was the moat
! comfortable of the train, and with the stern
resolve which ever distinguished me in the
! discharge ofmy duty toward myself, deter
mined to get into it, SO when we changed
cars at Utica | rushed forth and seeing a
nice young person and a pretty face, urging
her way through the crowd, | stepped mp to
her side, with my natice grace and gallantry
offered her my arm and assistance. They
were gracefully accepted, and, proud Of M
success, / urged my fair charge upon the
platform Of the ladies' car BY old enemy
was holding the door.
"Is this your lady, sir?"
with an inward apology to Mrs. Phenix
for the great injustice done to her charms,
replied yes Judge of my horror when this
low employee Of a monopolizing company,
said with the tone and manner Of an old &C
quaintance:
well, Sail l guess you've done well, but
l don't think his family will think much u
the match
CopFIsH. 90 mai said juvenile tc an
elderly dame, "there goe, pn with yoke Of
steers htched TO bob sled"
"flushl my child" said the mother, it is
very vulgar to speak 50; you should say pair
of gentleman cows, attached to Robert
Sleigh!
y CLEVER HIr.--A Swallowed Drained, but
well dressed writer, recently, with intent TO
wound thc feelings Of his superior in Intellect
but inferior in habits, made the observation.
at is pity your works are not bound in
better cloth" a" Suiting the action to the, T.or'!
the speaker eyed significantly the old coat
worn by the other author. "lndced,' COM
menccd the latter Better be SO bound than
in calf" and his accusing finger like Ban
quo's indicated his companions brain.
4 German clergyman, by way Of giving
point to a eulogy of a dead man, at tune-
raj, declared thai his own experience would
prove that the defunct was the most Sanerors
of men--as he had, long ago borrowed forty
dollars of him. Of which, to his dying day, he
had never asked payment. OF the debt thus
acknowledged before witnesses however, the
heirs, the next day, demanded the paynlcu'
with interest.
\ younz gentleman nt Che Isle Of Wight
was addressing Young lady in the follow
iug grand eloquent style: The most dign-
fed, glorious and lovely work Of nature is NO.
mau. the next man, and the third our liamp-
shire hogs" when she suddenly interrupted
| him with, II have seen specimens OF the two
latter Llendd in one!"
| Ralph Waldo Emerson remarked, in re-
cent lecture, that our trust in physicians was
not confidence IL their skill, but despair Of
our owr,
a man has no more right to say, an un.iy.l
thing, than to net one; no more right t. say
a rude thing to another, than to knock him
down.
The reason why 80 few marriages are hap
py. is because youLE ladies spand their tins
III making nots, uot IN making cages
Why was Adams wife called Eye2 Ec-
cause when she appeared, mans day Of hap
pines. was drawing to a close.
A young lady, when told to exercise ir
her health, said she would jump at Az offer
and run her own risk.
4 Ihan can no more believe with an othe'a
faith, than he can satisfy his hunger by sec
ing another man eat.
To spcnk har5hly to q person Of s9nsibility
is like striking a harpischord with your fists.
Borrowed thoughts, like borrowed money,
exposes the poverty of the borrower.