The Hillsborough recorder. [volume] (Hillsborough, N.C.) 1820-1879, 1859-06-29


these cheering speculations were however, one
day most fatally blighted by letter from my
mother announcing that my grandfather had
committed-nOt suicide, wished at the time
he had but worse evil matrimony, by taking
to wife the daughter Of a half pay officer Of
marines, atat eighteen.
+" The-od-donkey !"
This was my first most ungrandsonly, but
very emphatic remark aud twas true, for |
hold to il that an old man can do no more
assanine act than that Of welding a young
wife.
How about King David
A different thing altogether! The royal
ply yscans had prescribed the remedy in his
case; but nv grandfather, with the owner-
ship Of Durham Colliery, and an estate near
Whitney, that paradise Of blankets, what ex-
cuse had he! None,
was curious to see the lady, and would
have volunteered respectful visit, but for
codcil-a postscript mean--ln my mothers
letter which stated that the bridal pair had
set off to Brussels to spend their blu.hing
honeymoon.
Things looked very blank after this, for !
knew there was an end Of all further duna.
tions, and began TO work my brains in specu-
lations for the future.
Tom Craster-- shot since, poor fellow, in
the trenches before Stbastopol--su suggested
:" the boards" /. O., that should become an
actor, trusting TO my face and figure to find
rich wife; but knew acting was not my forte,
aud as to the. wife business don't believe in
the cardinal virtues Of young ladies' Who are
I tubt h, ma III IN L
was as far from land as ever.
sdpposing you 60 To the Holy Land" !"
said Tom, "you could write baok when you
come back, aud make no end &C money"
I'll | do, then it must be as pilgrim, with
a staff and scolIop shell. How the deuce.
Tom c aster, can ] 20 10 the Holy laud. when
can't pay my washclwoman :"
g That's true, for they don't Give tick on
Railroads, though for the matter Of that, il
didn't cost me kreutzer TO travel from 0s-
tend 10 Rome
You went as courier then"
Look here. il the weather wasn't so con-
foundly hot, I'D thrash you for that remark.
Courier % ..-
We'll, | don't know how you managed,
but | do know that my fan last Summer cost
me pretty penny.
OF course it did; but ynn see. as oil
Nick said when lie fell on the ice. there
are slippers and slippers;' never mind how I
managed it, I'll put you up to the dodge some
day"
Cant you put me up to some dodge nor2
How about your friend Shadach, or Absalon,
or whatever his name is?
Levi Sulonunss Why, you stupid fel-
low, he wouldn't even look out At the garret
window at poor, pitilul ninth son like you !;
think Of something else"
Well, did think Of everything rnder the
sun, the game IA each equally blocked up,
when one morning ted 4 letter from
Grip aud Holden, stating that their client
john Armstead, E.q., had departed ibis life.
leaving the sum Of eighty thousand pounds III
the three per cents, and daughter, who Wis
bequeatheI TO me, tas token OF gratitude
ior having saved her fathers ltir,) with tile
aforesaid eighty thousand IL i dover.
4 wife aud fortune together.
There are some ynuug ueu ~ Jdse that
even slch cut .and.dty husbandr, would not
move then, but their ways are mt MY ways.
FIRST, | performed an animated aud h-hls
descriptive pRS Sfif amongst tie chairs aud
tables, then ! seized ms hai anj rushing
down stairs overturned my ldHndress, aud
pitched head foremost into 10m Cras,ef's
stomach who va. bringing up iht rear. lie
restored me by the sane process which have
seen tried on children after swallowing a
mouthiul the wruas way," namely, series
OF vigorous whacks on the spinal culumn.
which was 50 far composing, that il brought
water into NY ewes, In which snitrne,i state
we adiourned up stairs. where ! pliced tie
document 10 my irienl's hands. lie read II,
jumped up. nearly shook mY hand oil, and
again attempted To beat a tattup uu NV back.
THIS time resisted, when he threw himself
into chair, laughed till the teats ran down
his checks, kicked his heels yiulcHdy against
tie ilnor, aud finally eiicolated:
- You poor devil you"
/" Aud why poor devil il you please. Tom
Craster: here I've got vile and a lot
tune"
"oh mercy don't Kill me With laughing.
wife oh, oh, WArllcigh, you dog. u
wife
+" Well. hang me il see what there Is to
laugh al. saved tie Old buffers life. aud
in gratitude he leaves me his daughter and
big fortune"
Il oagt IL tc big one to make that
wife 20 down"
experienced queer sensation as he ut
tered these words, sich as remember hay-
ing felt in my siljlupl, when Suffering from
a violent bleeding AZ thc nose, my nurse una.
wares slipped large cold key down my
back but resolved not to let him sec tile
effect Of his words, so | merely replied a.
carelessly as possible. should ike to
hear what sou kuuw about her. You always
have something ID say about every one, butyuu
must remember this lady Is NOT TO b. lightly
spoken nl, she is my future vile, and -"
This set him of in fresh paroxysm, in
which lie wriggled about for some time, aud
finally in weak voice and holding both sides
with his hand nc said /" Wardleigh, III try
TO te calm aud tell yoh, but It's, oil oh 50
funny. Why, man, she's lilty il she's a day
d figure like a leather bed tied il two, aud
here hC fairly ssrtamtd blind U