Nashville patriot. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1858-1860, 1859-02-18
The Fate of "a Bachelor who went
Skating with Mary.


Mary is as pretty u piece of humanity in
the shape of woman as You couid find this
side of Heaven. Such eyes such hair such
teeth! And her hand !! Well now, there
| think it was just the smallest, the wLitest-
why, ivory is slow to it. And her foot was
like little white rose bud, its snowy leaves
just showing enough to set off the neat cover
ing that concealed the rest from profane eyes.
1t did not seem a foot, as one saw it reposing
in its tiny kid slipper, like Canary bird in
its nest.
MARY HAS THE SKATING FEVER.
Well, fir. this Mary caught the skating
fever, which is now raging so fearfully. /
heard her express wish for a pair of skates,
and the next day she had the best pair that
could be found in the city. and nobody know
who sent them to her but. bless me, how my
blood boils at the thought of the cOnse-
quence. .---
MARY PUTS HER FOOT IN 1T.
We went down upon the ice, and there that
little devil of Mary, Just sat quietly down.
ordered me on my knees. and quietly PLACED
that foot, the foot, the poetic myth, in my lap
and bid me put on her skate. Sir ! had We
nus dropped down from Heaven. and bid me
rub her down with rotten stone and oil, it
could not have astonished me more than when
that divine foot was placed in my unworthy
lap felt very flint-bnt baeklcd on the
skates. and stood up, with Mary by my side.
THE BACHELORS HEAD swIMs.
Have you ever taught woman to skate
No; well. 1T me tell you. You've been in a
room lined with mirrors, haven't Won
You've seen n kaleidoscope, with few, old
bits Of glass, &C. in "a tin tube. and turning
it have seen all sorts of beautiful figures
Just imagine 4 Kaleidoscope. and in place of
beads and broken glass please substitute blue
ava -l..uh
hair, crinoline, gaiter boots, zephyr w6rsted
Cupids, hearts, darts, n clap Of thunder a
fash of lightning. and '.auld Nick" Imagine
yourself the center of system with all these
things revolving round you. and violet
bank breathing signs upon you all the while,
and you have Mary and her victim in the first
skating lessen.
CATERS IN THE PIT or HIS STOMACH.
Bat just let me try to describe our perform
ances. May aud started--she on my left
arm. all square. Lord have mercy on my
poor puzzled brain while try to unrayel the
stirred and mixed rainbow of signs and sen
timents First. Mary's dear little gaiter
boots present themselves to my astonished
vision, and. before have time to wonder
bow they came up before me, feel them
pressing their blessed beauty, with emphasis,
into the pit of my stomach.
NARY PfrcHEs rSro am GENERALLY.
Next scene-wavy hair, with a thirty dol
lar bonnet and a divine head. comes pitching
into my waiscoat, with such force that feel
the buttons against my spine. Next-Mary
gazed up at me from between my jack-boots,
and anon her blessed little nose Is thrust into
the bosom OF my shirt. All my friend, all
research and study on the mysterious subject |
OF woman has been comparatively in vain.
I'LL IN this eventfal year III 1859, the fashion |
OF skating has opened new and varied soarces |
of Information.
MARY sUbDUEs HIN.
Dear Mary 1 otier,-d myself 10 her every |
time she turned up or came round am hcrS; /
but wish 10 enter ms solemn protest before /
The world that she alone could not have con- |
qaered me. But who could hold out, when |
SURROUNDED by al army OF Msrys on skatssl /
Asa hers ;, bat I'm awful sore. An! have /
learned something. CIpid makes bachelors /
1eiidsr, as ceroks do tough stakes, by hammer |
mo and uann.lfnx