Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1859-08-09

yUE EVILS OF KNOWING MORE THAN
ONES NEIGHBORS.


Jns certain county of Illinois, where s. the
s,hoolmaster is abroad" - ION pretty long fur
Iopgh. should judge)-the people are quite
-easrkable for the amount of their intelligence
.nd their striking equality upon the score of
education. am credibly informed that nearly
lie whole population read Hebrew, Chinese
and Choctaw with the same facility that they
aod we'll they may be, for Shakespeare says
there are sermons in trees" and they have
lots of that kind Of preaching Mauling rails
i therefore. very edifying business When
thew get hold Of tree that is real whopper.
they have a sermon forenoon and afternoon,
but from a small one-especislly a blackberry
it woald be unreasonable to expect anything
more than short e1hortation from ths descon.
No other proof need be given that they are
all equally and wonderfully enlightened, than
this single tact:
Al the exciting election in November last
every vote Of the county was given for -,
and not a single one for -, his opponent.
Among the candidates to represent that
county in the legislature was very popular
Young man, to whom will loan, for the pres
snt occasion, the name of Christopher Colum-
bus Spread Eagle Jones. That he was born
there was far from being the sole cause of his
popularity He was universally and yery.
iustIy regarded as prodigy of learning He
had been for two whole quarters student at
the University at Cedarville, and received the
degree of T. s.. Bachelor of Science1 with a
huge parchment diploma, for which letter he
paid the customary fee Of Eve dollars. Imay
as we'll remark, en- psIss0Nt, that they have at
Cedaryille very singular but excellent Gus
tom. On certain day of the year they never
fail to hunt up large herd Of lame cattle, and
brand their launches with a mark that re-
ssmbies double ID. This branding has very
salutary effect upon those cattle Ii relieves
them at once of their lameness, and they ever
after carry their horns several pegs higher
than they ventured to do previous to the ope-
ration
Even before Jone, went to CedarvilIe. in the
estimation Of the people, he had heaps of
learnin," for he could read the hardest kind of
reading that could be scared up. To be sure,
such Webster U nabridged words rs 60 transub-
sanitation, '''Nebuchadnezzar,' - :. bread and
milk -pOultice, and the like, would have fairly
tripped him up and fairly laid him Hat on his
bsck, but for the ingenious way he had of
lesping over them and coming down safely on
the other side.
His performance at the public exhibition on
the 1lgnt before commencement was sublime
as kitchen poker. IT was also as teariugly
patriotic and eloquent as one Of the real first
chop South Carolina secession snorters His
theme was - Manifest Destiny" He nailed
the stripes and stars" to the North Pole, and
tied them to both horns of Cape Horn, in south
ialInde " "l1ty-four-forty '-('or fght."o His
speech was full Of FIRE. and there was a smell
all over the house, as if something was burn
ing. To quote Homer: As when the faithful
housewife hangsth her husbands newly washed
red flannel shirt TO dry on the back of a chair
within scOrehing distance of too large a hickory
ire see HOmer's Iliad, Book Z, line 3SO1
There was 80 much ripping and tearing done
up oy the american Eagle that every man
feared getting a scratch or two himself
young lady thought that a eamphene lamp had
exploded one of its boilers, and very nearly
tainted She would have done 90 entirely, had
not her beau supported her
have said that " Mr.. C. Columbus Spread
Eagle Jones was a candidate for the legisla-
ture. On the Saturday before the election he
had made an appointment to address the peo-
PIE Tor the last time, before the eventful day
An immense gathering, for those diggings was
eOtiected at the County House, for Jones was
popular and would unhead to them a barrel of
red-eye
The young speaker was unusually eloauent.
lie made tall and vehement " Spread upon
nearly every subject in creation. To display
learning he launched out at large upon Socrates
and the bowl Of hemlOck which the Athenians
compelled him to drink The subject was new
10 them Not one in the whole audience had
ever before heard a syllable about Athenians,
cIerates or hemlOck in the course of their lives
ana they listened With open-mouthed interest
emotion.
efied out 10 the speaker: What did they make
toe man drink that nasty piIen truck for7" He
vas answered: because he knew more than
ms nelghbors-" Mr.. Nathan Hodge, q man
past the middle age, dressed in tan-colored
hun'ing shirt ami cOon-skin cap, waited to hear
10 more, but rushed out of the courthouse as
. that stately pile Of clapboards had been on
e. Chcie NatI without even stopping to take
drink, mounted horse and rushed for home
E sLn the speed of three-pronged streak Of
lightning.
twss early in the afternoon when he hove in
SiSht oi his own cabin, his horse all in foam
us son Ike saw him at q distance. and cried
o4I % ms mother: The old man. coming home
a-I not drunk; never knew him to do such a
ming IN all my born days. Something orfuI
EaS Eappenedi"
Ca;.e Nat threw himself from his horse. an 4
.I'nin 3 TO the house in almost breathleSs haste,
told his story
ne Athenians, which means the Yankees
1Ai h'Tmons, which live up towards Sheeaw-
ST, were putting people to DEATH ne said
0' Aho"lng more than their neighbors A
ttN Iay' ago they killed a man by making him
GIihh SOurdful Of tea made from a pizen yarb
'hey call wedlock. He shouldn't wonder.H he
e az II II was the yarb that makes the milk
Ike bsulcd out: You're booked. Dad ,urs-
ioT you knows more than anybody else in
'hese diggings''
Inc old msn grOsned aloud, and said: "You
hecdh tell me that, Ike for knows it-I
Ah'W H. The only chance for my life is for Us
70 mike tracks this very day for Missouri
showed the moment L seed the comic with that
lclernal, durnd drotted ALFRED long tail. that
soihethiDg pretty considerable orfal was eoipg
TO happen 10 me- oo
Inc Yld lady doubled her fist. and wished all
the Athenlans, MOrmons and Yankees at !,
place which L hope YOU and / Mr. R5itor
bIOwn, snail have no Occa aston TO visit
ncle Mats brotheT-in-lau Wa. sent f,r -
haste. lie was fortunately man who ia in ,,,
hanger Of being put to death fer knowing tao
much. Everything, except what they could
take along with them, was put into his bands
to sell for them. The horses were harnessed n
the wagon, the wagon closely packed with the
most necessary articles, and two hours before
sInsei the whole party were on their yay to
Missouri Uncle Nat. with q rusty double-ba,
70. shot gun, took his station half upright in
,he hind end of the wagon, keeping q shart
lockout tor man with gourdfui Of weiIoek
~ IS my honest opinion that IL any man had
happened to-come along with u gourd in hi,
AaGd, there would have been fifty four forty
and fight :
=, The last heard Of Uncle Nat and his famil,
,,a9ey were settled in the southwestern part Of