Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1859-09-01
THE GAZETTE.
\ KKPORTkR,S JOKE.
THURSDAY MORNING, SEPTEMBER l, 1859.

Morgan " Sullivan an lrishman. and cele-
brated Parliamentary reporter, attached to the
London Morning Chronicle, some fifty years
ayo. was AS remark able for his humor rs his
professional ability. Whenever any one Of
Tended Morgan. or got out Of favor with HIM.
heinyariablv retaliated in the way OF some
practical Joke that generally placed ms antag,
onist in avery ridiculous position, and Afforded
the humorist satisfaction. In tins way he once
got even with two individuals ut the same
time who had excited bis ire-namely, the eel
ebr,ted Wilborforce, then leading member
of the opposition in Parliament, and one
Jack Finnerty. II Parliamentary reporter of
the Morning Herald. Finnerty was fresh
from Tippcrary, and quite unacquainted
with the characteristics Of the different MEM
bers of parliament, but he received good
deal of gener Us professional assistance at the
outset Of his career from Morgan O'Sullivan.
On theoccasion now referred to, Finnerty came
into the reporters gallery at period OF the
night when the debates seemed to have
slackened; he concluded to take doze on one
of the benches, and requested his friend to
wake him up if any thing lively came be-
fore the House, and thereupon went Oft to
sleep. Presently, Mr.. Wilberforce got upon
his legs and addressed very thrilling speech
before the House As he progressed. a mis-
chevous idea seized Morgan O'Sullivan.
which. rs soon as Wilberforce sat down, he
proceeded to put in practice, thus.
Rousing Finnerty from his slumber on
the benches, O'Sullivan exclaimed, Jack,
Wilberforce has Just made an extraordinary
speech" What about?" returned Finnerty,
rubbing his eyes About the potato; the
effect oi it on national vivacity. the great
virtues of it as an article of popular diet.
proved that the finest kind ofmen were reared
ON it. far superior to the English 'Wilber-
force said that. did hey" exclaimed Finnerty;
come, let me take his remarks in full from
Your notes. With pleasure, my dear fell
low" replied OSullivan. who commenced as
if reading from Il motel book, whilst Finncrty
eagerly wrote after him in the following
VEIN Mr.. Wilbertorce then emphatically
remarked that it always appeared to him be-
vond question that the great cause why the
Irish labcrers, IA body, were so much
stronger and capable of enduring so much
more fatigue than the English, arose from the
SURPRISING virtue of their potato That's
what | call eloquence,' interrupted Jack
Fiunerty. Morgan resumed; And | have
no doubt Continued Mr.. Wilberforce) that
reared in Ireland where my food would have
principally consisted ofthat inestimable root,
instead of being the poor, ntirm, shrlvelled
and stunted creature you, sir, and honorable
gentleman behold me, would have been d
stout. athletic, handsome man, able to carry
an enormous weight" well done, WILDER
force" exclaimed Jack, in high glee; "gO
on, Morgan" O'Sullivan then proceeded
in the same vein Of pathos and absurdlty,
but adroitly keeping within the bounds that
Finnertys credulity would swallow, until he
had placed most whimsical speech in the
noah of the grave and earnest Wilbertorce.
Finnerty, with many expressions OF thanks
10 his brother reporter. started for the Herald
office. On his way, turning into tavern
close by the House of Commons, where num-
Der ofreporters of the different morning papers
were RECALLING themselves, Jack furnished
them all with copies Of "Wilberforces
speech" and the hoax-found its way the next
morning into every paper in London, with
the excep ton of the Morning Chronicle, to
which as matter ofcourse, thecorrect report
was furnished by OSullivan.
The public were astounded ut the extraordi.
nary speech which, according to all hepapers,
Wiiberforce had made, and the general opln-
ION was expressed that he was candidate
for Bedlam. The following evening, ON the
speaker taking the chair, Wilberforce rose and
claimed the indulgence Of the House
Every honorable member" he observed
has doubtless read the speech which l am
represented rs having made on the previous
night. With the permission of the House |
will read it." Here the honorable gentleman
read the speech amidst the most deafening
roars of laughter.)"I can assure honorable
members that no one could have read this
speech with more surprise than l myself did
this morning, when found the paper on the
breakfast table. For myself personally, l
care but little about it, though if were capa-
bic of uttering such nonsense as Is here put
into my mouth, it is high time that, instead
ofbeing Il member of this House, were an
inmate of some lunatic asylum. 1t is tor the
dignity of this House that feel concerned,
for if the honorable members were capable
of listening to such nonsense, supposlng me
capable of giving expression to it, 1t were
much more appropriate to call this theatre
TO: the performance of farces than place
for the legislative deliberations Of the repre-
sentatives of the people.
This was only one of the many instances
in which Morgan O'Sullivan paid of, to his
hearts content, members of Parliament and
other potential personages who had, in some
mar ner or other, provoked the waggish pro-
pensities of this incurable humorlst.
AIrYANDRIA STEAM DYEING, CLOTH