Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1859-07-13

pCOPIC, OAHU ASo i'
dividual, harangung three or four byst i't:
"waste their money in charity, other: e:
der theirs in supporting wives and families
but as for me, save mine to buy spirits"
a9H Indiana law requires years resi-
dence in that state before divorce can be
procured. Gone who knows" assures us
that the remedy is wossc than the disease
G@ The following dialogue passed, a
short time since, before court in England,
between u medical witness and lawyer.
Lawyer.-If 4 person, lying on Wet straw,
were deprived Of all the comforts and ncceS-
saries of life would il not hasten leath Dr..
That would greatly depend on whether nc
had previously been accustomed to them.
Lawyer.-Do you mean to tell us that II
person lived in horse pond it would not be
Injurious to him? Doctor.-l think not, II
he had lived for sixty or seventy years i'll it,
e What is that which every one can
divide, but no one can see where it has been
divided? Water.
Ia A negro once gave this toast: "De
late Gubclnor OBJ de Statc--he come in wild
berry little opposition, him go out wild lone
at ALL"
IL a miscr died once, aid the gods be-
ing puzzled as to what punishment was adc-
ouate for so depravcd a character, Momus
the god of mirth, said: The best punish
ment for such wretch, is to send him back
to the earth, and let him see what use his
heirs are making of his riches =
@e" LOVE ME LITTLE: LOVE ME- LONG"
"A tall Western girl named Short, lony loved
certain big Mr.. Little; willie Little, Atlte
thinking Of Short loved y lite lass named
Long. 10 make long story short, Little
proposed to Long, and Short lOngcd to be
even with Little's short comines. SO Short,
meeting Long, theatened to marry Little be-
fore long, which caused Little, in a short time,
to marry Long.
OuERY.-Did tall Short love big Little less,
because big Little loved little Long?
Eas "a1iss Brown, have been to learn
how to tell fortunes,n said young man to a
brisk brunette "Just give inc your hand,
if YOU please" La, Mr. White, how sudden
you are Well, go ask pa"
IL In one of our Wcstenl villages, the
editor Of the local newspaper had room at
the hotel. Being absent one night, and the
house being crowded, the landlord put a
stranger in Lis bed. The impertnent insratl-
tude Of the fellow was manifested next NOR
ming by the following lines found in the
room:
az slept in an editors bed last night,
And others may say what they please:
I saw there's one editor in the world
That certainly takes his ease.
When I thought of nly humble cot, away
could not suppress sigh,
But thought, as rolled in the feathery nest
How easy editors lie!
aSsD A gallant old Scottish officer was mar
rating the unfortunate history of an early
friend, who had just been Tilted by a tickle
beauty of that age, in favor of the Duke OF
A, and he concluded the story thus, in a
tone of much emotion: "Poor fellow, he
never got over it; no, sir, it was the de1t b
of him y and then, after q pause of much
pathos, with faltering voice, he added, lie
did not live above fifteen years after it."
G A Juryman begging to be excused
from attendance at court, on tho ground OF
deafness, the judge said, "Why, you can
hear me speak," "That's true enough, my
lord; but have to turn my head round very
awkwardly, for am quite deaf of one ear
"Oh, then, certainly, sir, you are excused,
replied Baron Anderson, with mock solemni-
ty, "a juryman ought undoubtedly to hear
10th Sides"
Ia. "Aw," says Dandy Snille, "tell
me, Makephun, why my pipe is like the viz
tue of patent medicines 2"
sCan't tell, unless it's because they're
humbugs" !"
No:ah-you are wrong-try it again."
~ give itup" .
"Well-it's because IFS meer.sbam!"