, 1859-09-23
GABRIEL BADGER.
Experience OF an Ugly Man.

Gabriel Badger, Esquire, when he came Of age
was neither the richest nor the ugliest man II
England but he was rich enough to excite tht
envy Of most Of the members Of his club, and
plain enough to make the women stare at him a
they passed. Gabriel cherished the belief that III
was an AdOnis and when the women stared Of
him he set that down to the credit side Of his &c
count; the more they stared the better he thought
Of himself Vanity, this, no doubt, but thers
was something else at work. Gabriel Badger was
Of temperament highly susceptible; he was al.
ways falling in love; and though he met with
countless rebufs in the course Of his career he new
ertheless went on proposing.
"HideOus! Is that itf' solil0quized Gabriel
Badger one morning as he was shaving, the mo-
ment Of all others best adapted for selfinteroga-
ton. "Hideous! Well, Miss Emily Brown, can't
say think so. I should like to know" he con-
tinued, addressing his well lathered eligy in the
look,ng-glass, what there is here to find fault
with. Painters may talk about breadth aud ex-
preston. I'm sure my face is broad enough, and
us for expresson-let me only clear away the
soap-suds! Isn't massive forehead something to
admire? had the smallpox when was young,
and perhaps there may be scar or two left, This
face was riddled like colander) but what Of that
It's manly. Whiskers, Miss Emily Brown! l
have you there! Are they hideOus! Where can
you see larger pair? This lather makes 'em look
a little rcd, (tEey were high gravel colorl but
that's only contrast. haven't Francis the First's
nose, (Gabriels was snub) ! admit il. But
was he beauty? 1i;ian, il he chose, could tel
you a very different story. Give me something
that's honest and bluff, like our own King Harry.
Figure? Miss Brown you're hard to please. And
YET Here Gabriel Badger paused and sighed
-" and yet she didn't say 1t in q pet, or out Of
Spite or anything Of that sort for she didn't know
| heard her. What fool l was to stand behind
the portiere while those girls were talking.
might have remembered the proverb. Who were
they-let me see! Emily Brown, Eliza Parsons,
Alice Taylor, Bertha Jones, Georgina Walker,
yes-and the one they called Matilda Smith.
How they laughed! That was what made me
listen.
a. Do you think him so very plain, lover asked
somebody, Matilda Smith, suppose, for did not
recognize her voice.
al don't know what you mean by very plain
replied Bertha Jones, but if / saw crossing
sweeper half rs ugly would go over my boots in
mud to get out Of his wayv
'lle Is much more like monkey than man!
said Eliza Parsons.
"'If you mCan On orang-outang,' squeaked
Alice Taylor-pert little thing-'I quite agree
with you
. NJ, ku u 0eufglnu W ulkef, WIN tnAt hiI VI
hers Of affected candor, no; think you are both
wrong. You 90 out Of the way for similes. Mr..
Badger is simply the ugliest Of his speciesP
"And then they all laughed again, as II Miss
Walker had said something excessively witty.
-Four out Of the six had had their fling at me.
waited breathessly to hear Emily Browns opin-
ion. never proposed to her or Miss Smith,
though have to all the rest. g..l % ~
"'Whai do you say Emilyr inquired Matilda.
q knew it must be her, all the others having
spOken)
"'only this answered the perHdious creature,
(she had danced with me the night before.) " Only
this: the man is perfectly hideousl He ought to
be shut up and never allowed to appear again in
ladies' society," a 'f+1
Il walked away from the portiere. What was
down on their knees and beg and pray for me TO
have em, T." Here Gabriel became energetic,
and cut himselE) "Curse the razor--what am
abouti No, not IL Where's the sticking plas-
teri Not If Stay, let me think II over! No!
Miss Smith said nothing herself She laughed, it
Is true, but then girls will laugh at anything Be.
sides, she has never seen me we have never been
introduced. All. Matildai are you On unprejudic-
ed persOni Shall run the riskI Imust con
slider; must consider" e
Having dressed and brealfasted, as heartily as
" he really had broken heart, Gabriel Badger
went out for walk, exercise assisting his mental
powers better than repose. But Gabriel Badgers
peregrinations were never solitary, and on this 90
casion he selected Regent street as good place to
think in. .a -.4..i IL f
voted to the cultivation Of photography that Ga
briel Badger halted. In the centre Of a snow
white visiting card he beheld Photographic min
iatuFel t