The day book. [volume] (Norfolk, Va.) 1857-1867, 1859-10-17
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MONDAY EVENING, OCT. II.
A Smooth Drink.


Dan says that year or two ago he
happered to have III bis employ couple
of ''broths of boys" whe-lke all the jol-
" cold Ireland" Liked "a bit Of taste,
of something" consunedIy well, and Of
ten INDUCED in it to his grievous annoy
ence, for Of course they usually chose the
most inopportune moment to get"cordial-
ed"
On one occasion, in her husbands All
sence, Mrs Dan noticed that Pat and Mike
had procured supply Of the ''cray-
Their" and stored the jug that contained it
upon a deserted shelf in the chimney cor
ner.
Woman, you know-God bless EN-
nevertheless-bardly like Us Of the stern
err sex to 'iiquidate," and with her Sis
tiers proverbial aversion to the cred eye,
my friends wife took advantage Of the
merry dc g's attendance to their "cho,es,"
and abstracting their Jug, substituted 10 its
stead one exactly similar in appearance,
outwardly so, but not in its ina ds,
At night the boys bunked in upon the
kitchen floor, and Mr.. D. and his lady
retired to their room, the door of which
opened into the kitchen, where they could
have a view from their bed of what might
transpire le.u cen the bog-trotters."
When Mike had given what he snip
posed was ample time for the boss" to
60 to sleep, be punched" his neighbot
saying
"Arrah, Pat! let's have drap"
, "Begorry, so say |, Mike, its as dry as
chip am, entirely, this blessed night.
Up both sprang, and Pat reaching the
Jug, took it down from its perch. and in
tull view of Mr. D. and his wife, who
were watching the motions" took
'swig. B ut the expression OF his face was
anythiug but favorable comment upon
the contents. Mike noticed the contor-
tioa, ard exclaimed:
"Pat, what the devil are you maxim
such bad look over the whskey for?"
4 Faith, Mike" replied his companion,
recovering himself, sit was no bad look
at all at all, l was afther making, | was
only thinking what smooth dliuk it
was, sure"
s. "Hand over here cried Mike impa-
tieueiy, aho "PPiy'h0 ~ W ~ ''fN' ~
took generous drauSbt.
"Blureuagesi" he roared, rushing for
the door, where Pat followed him, and
the noise of their efforts at "heavuS
Jonah" made the night hideous.
My friend and his partner thought
they would crack their sides in bed,
aughipg over the affair, and next morn
ing he went to the jug and shook it, but
it was badly depleted.
Nike" he cried, addressing one of
two sckly-looking lrhhmen as ever COM
planned, what on earth has become of
all the Gnseed oil"
"Lipseed lie. is it, sir?" exclaimed
Pat, with an air as though something
had cleared up great mystery to him.
"Yes, want some to oil the harness,
and see it's almost gone.
The Poor fellow only mu ttered-
Linseed lie, it was sure, bad luck to it
then it went down mighty smooth. "
This was too much for my friend, as
he had to give vent to pent-up laughter,
at which Pat "vamosed, but in such
high dudgeon, that the mention of
"smooth drink" wakes up the shillelagh
in him, whenever one hazards to hint at
IT, ...,. ..
A WoRsrED TRADEsMAN.-Aman some
six feet three inches in height and of her.
cuean build, went into the place of one
of the Worcester shop-keepers and asked
if they bad any "whirlers," that is, stock
ings without feet. ..-.- .s..t
"No,' said the shopteeper: but we
have got some famous big and strong
stockings, as will just suit such a man as
YOU"
Let's have look at en- said the
man. ---s.s.lr
Tie coulter was Immediately covered
with a quantity. Tie working Hercules
selected the largest pair, and said:
What's the price of them 2"
'iFour shillings ard ninepence," was
the rtjoinder.
"Can you cut the feet off OF them ?"
was the next query.
"Oh certainly" said the shop-keep-
Then Just cat them off" was the
laconie direct N.
No sooner said than done. The long
shop shears were applied, and instantly
the stockings wer- f'otless.
'Aad what's the pliee of 'en now ?"-
asked the customer, with all the compo-
sure Imaginable
"Price of them now!" echoed the
worsted merchant, surprised beyond
measure at the absurdity of the question;
why, "four shillings and n'nepence TO be
sure p .....
"Four shillings and uiuepence p ex-
claimed the puc chaser; i never gave but
one shilling and sixpence for pair OF
whirlers 10 my life.
And he laid down the amount upon
the counter.
"Well," replied the tradesman, chop
L