The Grand Haven news. [volume] (Grand Haven, Mich.) 1858-18??, 1859-10-19
Miscellaneous Items.

lacks also pure mind.
"A thorn in the bush is worth two
in the hand
- Ex-President Van Buren, is writing
his Life and Times"
- No men are so deep but that shall
low places may be found in them.
- If man could have his wishes he
would double his troubles.
= A manufacturing wire worker, in IN
advertisement, invites the public to come
and see his invisibie wire fences.
- Why can not deaf man be legally
convicted? Because it is not lawful TO
condemn man without hearing.
= The late Nebraska Territorial Fair
is called a success by the Nebraska pa
pers.
- A young Sawbones having courted
n girl for year, and got the mitten,
turned round and sued her father for
visits" he paid her.
- The best way TO discipline ones
heart against scandal is to believe all
stories to be false which ought not to be
true.
The rope which supported Blondin
in walking across Niagara, has been cut
up in small pieces and distributed to the
wonder-mongers, and is in great demand.
The anagram for Austria is vastaria,
Latin for "to lay waste"-a business in
which that country has been engaged for
centuries.
- Mrs. Eleanor E. Southall killed a
large alligator near her fathers plantation,
in Brunswick county, N. c., few days
ago. The weapon she used was light
wood knot.
-"They tell me wine gives strength"
said Fox, one day, "and yet /, who have
just drank three bottles, cannot (hic y
keep on my (hicD legs; that's so by
(hicD gracious"
- An old farmer whose son had died,
was visited by neighbor, who began to
condole with him on his los. "My loss
No such thing; it's his own loss--he
was of age"
- II may be said in illustration of the
sweetness and the sting of the English
language, that IFS very alphabet begins
with A B.
China is the great country for rais-
ing raw silk. No less than 100000 OF
pounds were exported last year. All
classes in Pekin wear it for common cloth
ing.
-" Indeed, | am rejoiced, my dear
wife, to sec you in such good health
said Sparks to his wife. "Health Z" was
the quick retort, "why, have had the
plague ever since | was married"
- Two old maids coversing with q
young lady, who is about to be married
one exclaimed, pctulantly, swell, if you
will do it You must bear the responsible
ity." Certainly, | expect to-" was the
significant reply.
Well, neighbor, what's the most
edifying news this morning! said gen.
tleman to his friend. 81 have just bought
barrel of -four for poor woman
"Just like you! Who is it you have
made happy by your charity this time p
"My wiieW
-"For my part, Mrs. Cavendish, wher
| 90 out, l don't want, above all things
TO be bothered with man." "Well,
am pretty much of the same mind, Mrs
Rattle; but after all, in getting into small
stores, the omnibus or pew, | must say
il is quite handy to have q man behind
to push in the hoops"
- An Irishman who had lain sick q
long time, was met one day by the parish
priest: "Well, Patrick, | am glad yor
have rccovered-but were YOU not afraid
to meet your Coda" "0ch, no, youl
riverence, 1t was the other chap | wa:
afraid NV" replied Pat.
"Our "Devi" woke up the othcl
morning and was astonshed too sec {
bed. bug sitting on the back of chair
pulling pins from his coat, and innocent
picking IFS teeth. Exchange.
Our "deviT' says that "deoT' must
be deviIish smart "de0H," to think o
opening his eyes in the morning without
the help of bed bugs or broomsticks