Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1859-06-04
TROUT AND PUGNACITY.
A FRONT STREET MAN on HIS MUSCLE.

Mr. Blank is the principal salesman in a whole
sale linen house in this city. On Saturday last
he was brought before police magistrate for
the first time in his life, and under such circum-
stances that there will be no harm done in mar
rating them.
Mr. Blank is remarkably clever man, and
sets high value upop joke provided it isn't
set up too steep" A short time ago Mr. Blank
received present from a customer in the town
of Lock Haven. 1t consisted of twelve of the
finest trout ever taken in that celebrated trout
stream, Young Woman's Creek. If there is
any thing for which Mr. Blank has weakness.
it is for breakfast Of trout, tanked by mullins
and a cup of Old Dominion coffee, and the
reader may, therefore, imagine how welcome
was the present in question Upon the delive-
ry of the package at the store, Blank deposited
the treasure ia II COVERED basket and placed it
in n cool place until evening. On his way home
he dropped in at a certain restaurant to see a
friend and while there certain hardware clerk
came in and entered into conversation with Mr.
Blank.
What have you in your basket, my dear
sir?"
"A present from Clinton County, dozen of
the biggest trout ever seen out of water
"Who is the donor?"
"a customer of ours at Lock Haven. By
the way, have you ever been in Clinton Coun-
typ"
"Never."
"Well, then, you have sensation in store.
Till you visit that region you can have no pos
sible idea of what fishing and hunting means.
Last winter a friend of mine shot eight deer in
an hour. What do you think of that?"
THAT the story is good one, but something
like the gentlemln's neck who was hung in Chi
cage last week"
whit do YOU mean by that ?"
That it is slightly stretched, that's all ?"
Mr. Blank being slightly miffed at this reply,
proposed to leave, while the hardware clerk in
sisted that they should first step into side
room and partake of Pinet champagne and
fried oysters. Mr. Blank assented and took his
seat, while the hardware clerk went to order up
supper While Mr. blank was reading over
the Nnrth American. the hard ware clerk made
an excuse to 20 down into the bar-room. While
there he abstracted the trout from Mr. Blank S
basket and replaced them with string of suck
ers Having done this he returned to his friend
Blank and partook of the supper, the last course
of which consisted of a dish of trout, which Mr.
Blank admitted to be nearly as large as those
sent him from Clinton County. After supper
Mr. Blanks friend settled the bill, and the par
ty separated-Mr Blank to convey his present
to his wife, and the hardware clerk to spend the
evening with lady in Ninth street. The mo-
ment Blank reached home he opened a CONVEX
sation with Mrs Blank.
"Got present for you my DEAR from Mr.
Wright of Clinton County-the finest mess OF
trout ever taken out of water"
allow nice! Are they in this basket, Blanky
dear?"
Mr. Blank said 'yes' and handed over the
basket, while Mrs Blank lifted the cover to ex-
anime the fish while Blank removed his boots
Mrs Blank examined the trout, and looked
dubious.
"Are these trout, my dear?"
"Certainly, and the finest you ever saw"
"Are you sure Of that Blanky?"
"Sure of itp OF course | am. It's so long
since you ate game fish that you've forgotten
the earmarks."
~ think you're mistaken for once, dear; i
I'm any judge Of piscatorial arrangements, thi'
lot of trout consists of suckers"
Mr. Blank laid down "the baby" and exam
ined the fish. He admitted that the trout hac
become suckers. He saw the matter at once
and admitted that he had been a sucker him
self, or he would not have allowed fool lik,
hardware clerk to have hocussed him in such
manner. Mr. Blank then determined to hav'
revenge. With this intent he put on his boot
and rushed out of the house. lie went VI
Ninth street, in violent passion, in pursuit o
the young man he advised to visit Clintol
County and kill eight deer in one hour. A
luck would have it he met the young man jus
as he stepped out of the house he had beel
visiting. He came up behind young man AM
lifted him about six inches off the ground, witt
the toe of his right boot. Young man was 81
taken by surprise and pain that he shoute,
"murder"-a process which resulted in NJ
Blanks capture by an officer in less than min
ute afterwards. The Recorders office bein
still open, Mr. Blank was taken before him.
Hardware clerk made his statement and NJ
Blank made his, when the Recorder voted tina
, Mr. Blank had served hardware clerk precisel
right. Hardware clerk studied the matter oye'
and agreed to consider the assault in Pick
, wickian sense, while Mr. Blank magnanimousl
} asserted that the "trout sell" should hencefort
: be considered as joke. The matter thus end
, ed, and so ended Mr. Blanks first arraignmen
: as volator Of the constitution Phiiadelphi
: ! North american. sv'tr