The Tiffin weekly tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1859-1868, 1859-06-03
ODDS AND ENDS


grew crooked replied "Somohody trOd /
o?on il, supposed, when It was linlc." /
A witness before Judge, Of Nlissis- 1
sippi, in answer TO a question replied I
"Yes, Stree. Bobr' Whercunon the
Judge said; Mr.. Clerk fnc Nj. Jones
five dollars for the rec, and Eve dollars for
the Bob"
The editor Of the New Hampshirs Dem !
ocrat complains that all his political op.
ponents make a mark Of him, Ho Is GER
tuinly mark that every honest nun ought
to Toe.
An editor ont West boasts Of fhavlnr had
talk with uwoman and got the lastword.
Exchange.
Yes, she gave II to him, and he had to
take Il.
The editor ofthe Southern Times prom
ises to dispose ofthc entire slavery question
sin a few short articles" He says he has
Il oil in his head. We'll, we have heard
that the whole thing was In n nutshell.
The Washington correspondent Of
Boston paper says that Mr. buchanan
looks much younger in the face than ne
" NNENNN AAN AAANAAH ANAN AAAN NaN
Buck is doefaoed.
BENErir or A RAINY DAY.-"Roscy,"
said an affected young lady TO a fricndwho
had called In 30 SEQ her, edo you think Il
will be fine tomorrow" Rosalic, think
ing she wished Ito be fine, replied, eyes"
"I'll be 40 put out If Il is fne," said Des-
sic, "as ! want TO 20 visiting" "Why,
how strange you arc, Bessie" "Why,I
Rosey, where I'm going they have splen-
did dinners, and such company; and II il
rains / must stop 90 dinner and dry my
clothes, and thcnmay be they'd send some
young gentleman home with me. You see
now, don't youl
AN AsHRArtoN.--"Sally, Two got
sweethearti such a nice young mani He's
in a perfcssion." ooh, Jemima! Don't
use such wicked words!" ut amt wick
cd word at all, Sally; it's business."-
."What business, Jcmimal Anything
nicel" eyes, Sally, and very spectacle.
Guess what Il Isl Il begins with no." 81
know Jemima; It's hollicer." mo, Il
amt, though; It's something much better
nor a houifor." "Wcll, then, horanVe-
merchant. That's Il, Jemima" "Oh,
you hateful thing, TO think of anything so
vulgar He's hootioneer l''--QWis.
SEEING Hrs NAME IN PRnr.-The most
remarkable instance of n love Of notoriety
with which we have ever met, was that Of
a man who, under the laws of Virginia,
in the olden times was advertised by the
sheriff Of Fuuquier county, TO be sold on
certain day as vagrunt. So pleased was
no with the sight Of his name for the first
time in print, that he procured a copy Of
the newspaper containing the advertise
ment Of his sale, and carried Il ten days
through the country, showing Il, with cv-
ident satisfaction, TO all his friends and
ncquuintancos.
A gentleman was so prone 10 exnggera-
tion, that he found Il necessary toinstruct
his servant whenever he drew the long
bow too freely. One day he was describ-
| ing fox he had slain--a fox with nom
strous long brush, quite a emile long. -
John Immediately logged his master.--
Well, said he, "perhaps not quite 80 much
but am sure II was half n milel" (anoth-
er jog) cor, II not, about quarter -
! Jog again.) "Won, I'll be shot if is was
not hundredyards long!" (Avery hard
ljog.) The poor story teller could stant
+ il no longer, but jumping up, exclaimed
, Rascal! will you not let my fox have
: tail at alll"
THE LrrTLE GIRL WHO HAD SURvyEl
THE SmP FEvER.-A few days since one
ofthe Metropolitan cars was stopped for tho
purpose of taking up an elderly lady and q
sickly looking little girl. In the car,
were ten females, five on a sido and the
seats will carry nine Every inch ofrooH
seemed occupied for the occupants OF the
car were fashionnbly dressed, and thcil
skirts expanded like peOcocks tails. Nc
one offered the old lady 4 scat, or made
room for her, or seemed to caro- whether
she was tired or rested. For a moment
the old lady scanned the faces of those
before her and then she smiled grimly al
tho want ofcourtesy which characterizei
females Of the present age.
81 say, you," this old lady exclaimed
budging the knee Of the nearest female
and pointing TO the little girl.
"Did you speak TO me-" demanded the
astonishod female on her dignity hnmedi
Htely. ....... ....
"Why, yosl want to know Il yor
would believe this little girl jist como out
Of the ship fever hospital at Deer Is
land"
Ten hands dolieately gloved, were rails
ed toward the bell strap, and ten voicel
were shrllly raised for the car 10 stop,anC
in less than one minute the old lady anS
the little girl had the vehicle 70 them
selves.
"Wull, declare" exclaimed the old la
dV, ~ fOrnot 10 tell 'om that there waru'
any patients there sick with the fever
However, III let EN- know il the mex
time we meet. Take a seat, dear, ant
make yourself at home"
, The conductor was somewhat astonish
, ed on that trip.
= THE LAST LEDGER SToRY.-The teach
er of a district school in this eghhorhoo'
Is in the habit Of questioning the children
under his charge as 10 what they knew o
= various historical characters they happeI
! 20 meet with In books. A few days az
n the name of Washington occurred In th
8 morning lesson and those who had any
Z thing 20 say about him were asked 70 rails
their hands. or course, up went al
!, hands and young America once more pai
M tribute 20 him, who was first, sc,
d Gle never told lie" shouted one.
l. "Ate out of a tin plate all through th
war"
= "Never smiled once for nine years,
= cried a third.
"He was the father of his country,
c piPed several.
Edward Everett is getting money {
c buy his grave" &C.
; isNow. then" said the teacher, Hwh