The Council Bluffs nonpareil. [volume] (Council Bluffs [Iowa]) 1857-1867, 1859-09-03
rakExIN AND DONE EoR.

Lord Marmion requested Chester to charge,
and it is popularity supposed that Chester
did it. What he charged is not reported.
individuals Of querulous disposition do
saw, also, that "Mine hosts" in London
and Paris are an improvement on Chester,
and I" charge" without being specifically
requested to do so, like a regiment of Zou-
ayes. The New Orleans Crescent, however.
reports the existence Of Boniface Up in
Arkansas, who deserves to be put in the
Calender as the patron saint of inn keepers.
Here followeth the account eff that estimabls
and conscientious individual:
Several weeks ago, two well-known gen.
tlemen of this city, went travelling for the
benefit of their health, and concluded to try
the famous Hot Springs of old "Recken-
sack.'' There being neither river, railroad,
nor canal to take body to the Springs,
our travellers hired horses at their point Of
debarkation, to ride in that manner to their
destination. They unluckily did not follow
the right road, or else there was no road to
follow at any rate they got lost, and after
q fatiguing days ride through barren and
iuiospitable wilderness, they came to a neat
little building, standing alone in the woods,
with farming appendages around. Our
travellers halted and hallooed. # A great,
tall, raw boned giant of fellow stepped
out.
aCan we get lodgings here, tonight %
asked on, Of the horsemen.
"We.l, gentlemen, | reckon ye kin, !" SAID
the big one, sand welkim to boot. This is
hotel" -,
The travellers, although they did not like
tha cnt of the landlords jib, dismounted,
ware relieved Of ytheir horses, and were soon
rs,aling themselves over a good country
supper Of corn dodgers, bacon, milk, fried
chickens and coffee. 1t was regular coun-
trv supper, but with their whetted appetites
our invalids enjoyed it amazingly.
After supper the gigantic landlord sat on
the porch with them, talking, laughing,
cracking Jokes, and treating occasionally to
some good old rye, of which he appeared to
have q plentiful stock. The invalids set
him down for a regular "brick," and were
still better pleased when lighted at last to
nice soft feather bed, with the whitest and
sweetest of sheets.
81 tell YOU what it is, Bill" said Tom, as
thew were sinking gently into the embrace
of Somnus, "this fellow keeps nice place,
if it is out here in the woods"
ssThat's fact,o replied Bill, Sand sup
pose it's cheap place too; but like it,
and Pm willing to pay the full city figure
on it."
Next morning our travellers were aroused
by their ugly but afable landlord, and re.
called With breakfast, if possible, still
more appetising than the last nights supper
had been. The horses were brought around
and it was evident that they too had been
we'll cared for. One Of the travellers pulled
out his wallet, and said to the big enter
tainer:
"Well, landlord, you keep iirst-rate lit
tie hotel out here better than we expected
to find. We are much pleased with it, and
now want to know what the damage is?"
The landlord drew himself up, and put
ting on very solemn look, said:
" Gentlemen, Pm pleased to hear yer sat-
isfcd. Tho bill is two hundred and seventy
FIVE dollars"
GLOW much did you say, sir?" asked the
travellers, both startled. co.,,
The big one, drawing himself up little
higher, and looking still mere solemn, re-
Piled, distinctly and emphatically, Two
hundred and seyenty-fve dollars, gentle
men,"
"Do hear you Alright, sir ? do you real
" mean to charge US two hundred and sew
enty FIVE dollars for two meals, and lodging,
and horse-feed?"
Gentlemen" said the landlord, with the
most alarming sanq tfoid, "that's no mis-
take. Two hundred and seyentyfye dollars
is the bill.'
The invaids got scared. They did not
feel strong enough to fight; and if they had,
could never have hoped to make anything
GU; Of the unsainly giant who stood so COM
posedlv before them. Without another
word, the traveller with the wallet, squeezed
it and peeled its different pockets, and sue
ceedcd in handing over the full amount re-
CURED. The landlord thanked his guests
politely, and hoped if they should ever pass
that way again, that they would give him a
call.
The travellers were now on their horses,
and prepared, like the famous cavaliers in
james novels, to resume their solitary ride.
Before getting far off, however, the travel
Ter who had had to dissorge, turned in his
saddle, and hailed the landlord.
81 say, landlord," he shouted, "before |
60, I'd Just like to ask you one question:
civil question-which you can't take ofense
at"
..Fire ahead, gentlemen" was the answer,
"ye've paid yer bill, and yer welkim to ask
anything, without offense."
swell, how in the name Of heaven, did
you como to charge us two hundred and
seventv-fve dollars for one nights accom-
modation, not worth more than five or six
dollars at the outside %
'iCer'ainly, gentlemen, I'll tell yer, and
welkim. Yer see keep hotel; and some
times has customers and sometimes has
Mt, and has to charge accordin' and, as
you are the first customers I've had well
niga on to a year, yer bill was little big
germ it mought ha' bin otherwise. The
hotel has to be KEEP up, gentlemen, and
when customers is 'ce, has to charge
accordin'."
.t;ood morning, landlord" said both the
travellers and the rode off satisfied.
They didn't go on to the Springs, how
ever. They took the back track for the
river, and returned to this city for more
money, the big hotel-keeper having pretty
we'll cleaned them out. Re-supplied with
funds, they are now off to the Virginia
Springs; being unwilling to trust themselves
again among tho hotels of Arkansas inte-
r:or.
They declare, though, that the big land
lord who floeced them is capital fellow
all sorts of n fellow--and knows how to
keep hotel into the bargain.
CO" Father, are there any boys in Con-
gress?"
"No, my son; why do you ask that ques-
tion?''
p,,orso ~, r,,,r, so;I tho o,hou Ia