Nebraska advertiser. [volume] (Brownville, Nemaha County, N.T. [Neb.]) 1856-1882, 1859-12-01

of individuals and parties will sometimes
confound defect in The glass with tle-
mish in the object. A fly hatched from
a maggot in our own brain, creeps ingo
the tube, and straightway we proclaim
that there is a monster in the heavens,
which threatens to devour the sun.
---.--.-s-s-s-
SCOT any ice at your end Of the table,
BiII7n '-'.@ll'
mo; bat have go, The mex, thihg 70
it.n
whats thatF'
"a severe coldr'
There is a gentleman ia Boston 50 po-
lite that he begs his own pardon every
time he lumbIes down. Being good nal
tured, he always grants It. 'a'5e .
"What did you give for that horse,
neighbor 90 said Filkins. es.-
My note"
"Got it cheap, didn't yer 90
This fllet Of veal seems not qtise 50
white as usual. y said fair lady, laying
her hand upon it. 1asc
:sPut ON your glove, ma'em, ard yoa
will think Otherwise was thescomplais-
ant reply.
Two old maids conYersing with young
lady who was about to be married, one
exclaimed petulantIy,-
"Welb if you viii do ii, you must bear.
the responsibility"
Certainly, expect to, was the .ig..
nihcant reply. E
Near Warren, Connecticut, is posted
on a meadow fence the following:
Notis.
Know kows is aloud in these medders,
eny max ore womon letten thare kopys
run the rode wot gifts inter my imedders
aforesed shell have his tale cut orf ~ me.
Obadiah Rogers.
A parson. cornered a farmer whom he
seldom saw at his ministration, BY asking
him directly after little reProOf Of his
sin of omission:
"Shall we see you at church next Sab
bath?" $500 .1r
"Y-e-s, he replied slowly, ayes, ZIP
go-or send a hand" 60 aa .-H
A witty exchange serves up the fOllow..
ing hash to It's numerous readers:
"Unbuslled ladies, pure and undefled
Christians, disinterested friends, common
honesty, sound potatoes, first rate butter,
unwatered milk and rich priHters-aEe
scarce" 500 st
We endorse it all--Partieularlythel last
item.L "
An Irish servant having entered The
drawing rooms, with the mistress fayoF-
ite poodle wringlng wet, the lady iRgairi.
ed: ~.
{" How is this Bridget how. came Fido
so very wet?'' ~. 4.,.a- =. ...... ~
AN faith, mem, an il was little ToHI-
my had the tiny basic lashed 70 bis powl,
and was washing the winders wild him"
A newly imported "help'' after being
established in Fifth Avenue palace as .
maid Of all work, was seen shortly after
with pail Of slops from thekitChen care.
fully exploring the music room and olher
places, as if IN search Of something which
she could not possibly discover. AT last
meeting with the lady Of the house, she
inquired seriously, "Ifyou plaize miglress
where's the pigl" nllrs
"Mrs. Jones'" said a gentleman, ans
day last summer, when railroad accidents
were so numerous, 70 a lady whose bus-
band was brakesman, Mrs. Jones, do
you not feel worried about Mr.. Jones
while he is on the cars, in view Of the
many accidents that are now daily eccur.
ring ?'
"W-e-l-l, n-o-not at all, replied the
contented lady, "for, dye see, if be Is
killed, / know shall be paid for It, be-
cause Mr.. Williams got $40 for his COW
that was run over BY The cars few days
sincer'
An Irishman was going along the road,
when an angry bull rushed upon him, ard
with his horns tossed him over the fence.
The Irishman, recovering from bis fall.
upon looking Up saw the bull paving and
tearing up the ground, as is the usual
custom Of the animal when irriiated. where
upon Pat. smiling at him said, 'if il was
not for your bowing aud scraping and Your.
humble apologies, YOU brute, faiz I should
think that You had thrown me oyer on pur-
pose"