Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1859-01-15
Let II,
The Art of Living With Other,

In the first place, if people are To- lynf
PLY together, they must not fancy. L,,
| they are thrown together, now, that all :,
lives have been exactly similar M 10 tho
sent time. that they started exactly alE.
that thew are to be for the future of the %.
mind. 4 thorough conviction Of the .@
cnce of men is the great thing 10 be- a,.r.
| of in social knowledge. 1t is To- life ,s.
Newton's law is to astronomy. Syme,;r
men have a knowledge of it with rcgar5
the world in general: they de- not oyr,..
outer to agree with them in all p.ir.
but are vexed ut not being able To drive h..
own tastes and opinions into those they U.
with. Diyersitics distress them. T.,
might a. well say, why all thcS" ,tar,. v..
this difference: why not all one star"
Many of the rules for people living ro.r.
err in peace follow from the above. FIR IN.
stance, not to interfere unreasonable ~.
others. not to ridicule their tastes. not togus.
ton and re-question their resolves, not to r.
dulge in perpetual comment on their Dr.
ceedings, and to delight in their having othg-
pursuits than ours, are all based upon
thorough perception of the simple fact thu.
they are not we.
Another rule for living happily with Other.
is to avoid having stock subjects of diSpu,l.
ton. 1t mostly happens, when people H..
much together, that they come to have certain
set topics. round which. from frequent d..
pute. there is such IA growth Of angry word,
mortified vanity, and the like, that the orig.
inal subject of difference becomes a Staudiu,
subject of guarrcl; and there is a tendency in
all minor disputes to drift down to it.
Again, ifpeople wish To live well together
they must not hold too much to logic. and
suppose that everything is Ia be- settled By
sufficient reason. DR.. Johnson saw this clear.
" with regard to married people, when b,
said, "Wretched would be the pair above "a.
manner of Indebtedness who should b,
doomed Ia adjust by reason, every morning
all the minute details Of domestic day
But the application should be much NOR,
general than he made il. There is no lime
for such rcasonings, and nothing that i,
worth them. And when we recollcct how twu
LAWYERS, or two politicians, can 20 on contcn,
ding, and that there is no end of 0n"->idci
reasoning on any subject, we shall not ho
sure that such contention is the best mode oi
arriving at truth; but certainly it is not the
way to arrive at good temper.
If YOU would be loved as a companion ayoiI
unnecessary criticism upon those with whom
you live. The number of people who ha,,
taken out judges patents for thcm>"N", !,
very large in any society. Now it would J.,
hard for a man to live with another who va,
always criticiSing his actions, even if it Were
kindly and Just criticism. 1t would b" ik,
living between the glasses of Il microSrop"
But these kind of judges. like their pro
totypes, are apt To HAY" persons they iudg1
brought before them in the guise cf culprits
One of the most provoking forms of criticism
alluded to is that which may be called crit
cism over the shoulder. Had ! been ron
sulted"-"Iiad You listened to mc"-"Bu'
YOU always will'-and such short scraps ID:
sentences, may remind many ofuS Of di>,rrta
tons which we have suffered and inflicted
and of which We cannot call to mind any
soothing effect.
Another rule is. not to let familiarity Swal
low up all courtesy. Many Of Us have
habit of ~aying to those with whom we liz,
such things ~ We say about strangers behind
their backs. There is no place, however
where real politcness is Of more value than
where we mostly think it would be- superiu
Gus. You may say more truth, or rather
speak out more plainly to your associates,
but not less courtcously, than you do to strun
gers.