Smyrna times., 1859-10-20


tender, playful epistles to Josephine, which ex'
cite smiles and make US forget the soldier
In the husband. No sooner is the battle LOST
and won, and the shout of victory raised, than
a missVe of congratulation, void of all the
pomp and circumstance of war, is dispatched 10
the dear ones al home, without whose sympathy
the hardest won victory would be barren. Ma
poleon greets Josephine from Marmrolo, and
sends kiss 20 his wlfe's lapdog. Nelson bat
ters Copenhagen, and-composes verses TO
Emma, his Guardian Angel Herein love,
the great leveler, places the drummer-boy on
par with his general, and forecastle Jack on
footing with his admiral"
Bottled Sunshine.
There is new discovery in France, by which
daylight can be corked aud bottled. 1t con-
sists in the invention of an artificial light so
wonderfully luminous and SO steady, as to COM
pletely supply the effect of the most brilliant
noontde sun in all Photographic operations
The light being contained in portable appa-
ratus, portraits can be taken in private resi-
dences, even in the darkest room, wholly indie
pendent of the state of the atmosphere and
those parts of cathedrals or other picturesque
architectural monuments where the light of the
sun never penetrates, and which, in conse.
quence, have been until now wholly shut out
from photograp piers Iwil be as accessible to the
artists as any part of the exterior.
Difference in Polite Messages.
Mrs. Helen Carnegy, of Craigo, was tho
rough specimen of a class of old Scottish ladies.
She lived in Montrose and died in 1918, at the
| f -, Sho To-.
cobite, and very aristocratic in her feelings,
but on social terms with many of the burgherS
of Montrose, or Munross, as it was called. She
preserved nice distinction of addresses suited
to different individuals in the town, according
as she placed them in the scale of her cOnsid-
Grafton. She liked a quadrille, and sent out
her servant every morning to invite the ladies'
required to make up the game, and her direc-
tions were graduated thus:
"Nelly. you'll gang to Lady Carnegy's, and
max my compliments, aud ask the honor OF her
ladyship's company, and that Of the Miss Car
negies, to tea this evening and If they Gamma
come, ging to the Miss Nudes, and ask the
pleasure of their company; aud it they Gamma
come, ye may ging to Miss Hunter, and ask the
favor of her company; and if she Gamma come,
ging to Lucy Spark and bid her come"
Census of the Probationary of England.
There are forty-six persons who have each
an income exceeding two millions Of dollars
year, and four hundred and forty-four persons
who have incomes varying from fifty thousand
to two hundred and fifty thousand.
Suitable Company.
Teacher.-" Peter, you are such bad ooy
that you are not fit to sit in the company o
good boys on the bench. Come up here and ST
5 by me, sir"
Specification.
= "This is an exorbitant charge for very
slim luncheon" said traveller to the host
: I" Will you specify the articles that amount tt
two dollars 7" "Well, two chops, that's fit!
cents, and two cups of coffee, that's twenty-five
: cents. and bread and butter, is one dollar, ant
e -and-the other things make the other"
1 Broad and Narrow Way.
t The preachers exhort their hearers constant
e " to walk in the narrow path, and reProac
i them because they prefer the broadway, tha
It leadeth to destruction. For the men who FIRE
o ouent that well-beaten road, we have no excus
e to make; but for the women, it is obvious tha
n the present style of extravagant dress prevent
y them from following any narrow path, howeve
e desirable, and forces them, says the Hon
= Journal, to keep upon the BrOGdUGy that lead
d eth down to-TifaDy's famous jewelr
l. store.
J; Conundrums.
oh IL hoE Ea6 MI ha
uI Dun (done) color. Why is an avaricious ma
c. like one who has bad memory! Because
s. is always forgetting (for getting). Why is
lg married man like Knight of Malta! Becau
es he has great cross. Why is boatman lii
ct a. goldsmith Because he handles the o.
in (ore).
be Prices Current.
in The application Of adjectives in the new
cd paper prices current, is singularly approPria
.ly and amusing. Take, for instance, the folio
nd ing quotation: Yesterday and to-day butt
er has been falling, -four is rising, cheese is III
~, poultry rather dull, beef is quiet, and pc
firm, eggs are brisk, Goldfish is easy, and mac
me erel is looking up, salmon is steady, and HI
s." rings going off fast in small lots. Provisio
in general, going dOvn."
be- A Sensible Answer.
ss- A manufacturer of perfumes sent specin
Ike of his wares to the editor of newspaper, 4
) oan requested him to notice them favoraby 10
70 journal. The editor being a sensible m
OF sen, him this answer: "The scent which !
res sent for my approval, isn't worth cent, ant
s.aa 4na in your request there is no sense"
nit Tooth-ache-oiogy.
sion There are six thousand dentists in the Uni
ba- States.
in
we ENGLISH papers are still in fear of the /"
the venu" A Liverpool writer says the perple'