Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1859-02-25
MI. Browns MishapS---or, Comedy
of Errors.

VI
1 Mr.. Elphalet Brown was bachelor OF
thirty-fye or thereabouls; one of those men
who seem to be born to pass through the
world alone. Save this peculiarity, there
was nothing to distinguish Mr.. Brown from
the multitude of other Browns who are born
grow up and die in this world of ours.
1t chaneed that Mr.. Brown had occasion
to visit town some fifty miles distant, on
matters Of business. 1t was his first visit
to the place, and he proposed stopping for a
day, in order to give himself an opportunity
to look about.
Walking leisurely along the street, he
was all at once accosted by child of five.
who ran up 10 him exclainirg:
"Father | want you to buy me some
more candy"
"Father!" was it possible that he, bache-
lor, was addressed by that title? He could
not believe it.
"Who were you speaking to, my dear ?''
he inquired of the little girl
:" spoke to you father" said the little
one, surprised
Really" thought Mr.. Brown, " this is
embarrassing"
g am not your father, my DEAR" he said,
what is your name?
The child laughed heartily, evidently
thinking it good joke.
" What a funny father you are" she said ;
" but you are going TO buy me some candy"
I" Yes, yes, Ill buy you pound, if You
won't call me father any more" said Brown
nervously.
The little girl clapped her hands with de-
light. The promise was all she remembered.
Mr.. Brown proceeded to a confectionery
store, and actually bought pound of can
dy, which he placed in the hands of the lit
tie girl.
In coming out of the store they encoun-
tered the childs mother.
90, mother" said the little girl, ''iust
see how much candy father has bought for
me-"
" You shouldn't have bought her SO much
at time, Mr.. Jones" said the lady, +" / am
afraid she will make herself sick. But how
did you happen to get home so quick
did not expect you till night"
Jones-I- madame" said the embar-
rassed Mr.. Brown, q it's all a mistake |
amt Jones at all. 1t isn't my name. / am
Eliphalet Brown of W. and this is
the first time ever came to this city,"
Good heavens Mr.. Jones, what has
put this silly tale into your head You
have concluded to change your name, have
you perhaps its your intention to change
your wife
Mrs. Jones tone was now defiant and
this tended to increase Mr.. Browns embar-
rassment.
" i havn't any wife, madame; never
had. On my word as a gentleman, never
was married"
> And do you intend to palm this tale off
upon me +" said Mrs. Jones, with excite
ment. IT you are not married, I'd like
10 know who | ann"
=" have no doubt you re most respect
able lady" said Mr.. Brown, +" and | con-
lecture, from what you have said that your
name is Jones but mine is Brown, mad
anne, and always was"
+" Melinda" said her mother, suddenly
taking her child by the arm, and leading
her up to Mr.. Brown, Melinda, who is
this gentleman
why, that's father " was the child's
immediate reply as she confidently placed
her hand in his.
" You hear that BIr. Jones, do you
You hear what the innocent child says. and
yet you have the unblushing impotence to
deny that you are my husband The voice
of nature speaking through the child, should
overwhelm you. I'd like to know, if you
are not her father, why you are buying can
dy for her? | would like to have you an-
swer that. But presume you never saw
her before in your life"
9 never did. Onsmy honor / never
did. told her | would give her the candy
if she wouldn't call me father any more"
" You did, did you? Bribed your child
not to call you father? Oh, Mr.. Jones,
that is infamous Do you intend to de-
rert me, sir, and leave me 10 the cold char
tiles of the world? And is this your first
step 2"
Mrs. Jones was so overcome that, with
out any warning, she fell back upon the
sidewalk in fainting fit.
Instantly a number of persons ran TO her
assistance.
Z" Is your wife subject to fainiiug in this
way z? asked the first conner of Brown.
" 1 don't know anything about her."
Why, it's Mrs. Jones, ain't it?
" Yes, but I'm not Mr.. Jones'"
"Sir," said the first speaker, sternly,
" this is no time to jest. trust that you
are not the cause of this excitement which
must have occasioned your wifeis faintiDg