The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1859-09-06


A. WI
Feller Citizens--I hav bin ornered with
an invit to crate be4 yu on this CRATE and
gellorious day. The !eelius which feel
on this occashun, is moro castor imagined
than described. Wethersfe is justly dis.
tinguished for her onyubs and patertism
the Wurld over, and to be requested to
paws and address you on this my frat per.
fessbunal tower Of New Engan, rayther
takes mo down and fills my sole with va.
rious kinds Of emoshuns. cum before yu
with no lilly manured intclleck. You
won't git no Aoury languwicge out Of inc.
Imo plane man--a exhibitor of sartin
curiosi.ys, Twin wild Beasts & sich like, Il
what I shall say will be rite strate out and
to the pint.
Ime no polytishan; have no enemys
to reward or friends to spunge. line q
Union man. Iuve TINS Union from Lue
Bottum Nv mi Hart. luve every hoop
pole in Maine and every sheep ranch in
Texas The cow pastures of New Hamp
shire is as dear to A. Ward, rs the rice
plantashuns Of Mssissippy. There is mean
critters in both of them air States, & there
is likewise good men and troo. II don't
look very purity for lot OF infammontary
individuals who nevur lifted their hands
in defence Of Ameriky or did the first thing
towards sekewerin our independence, to
git their backs up and Sware thoy will dis
solve the Union.
Two much good Blud wac split in court
in and marrying that hily respectable fe.
male, the Goodies of Liberty, to git d.
vorce from her at this late day. The old
gal has behaved herself two well to cast
her off now, at tho request Of parsul of
iddle braned men and the wmmu, who
never did nobody no good and never will
agin. line sorry the picters Of the God
dess never give her no shoes or stockings,
but tho band of stars around her he'd must
continne to shine briter aud briter. so long
as Erth resolves round on her own axle
trees. Ime for the Union now and forev-
or, and may the hand Of the first onery
cuss, wither, who attempts to bust her up
1.-THE wcther was all fred hot, g. man
at this pint of the orsshun fell down sun
stroke. told the aujience that consider.
ing the number Nv pc werful hausum gals
present, I was moro afraid Of DAwTER
STROKE. This joke was impromptoo an
amused the aujiencc very hily.]
Fellcr Citizens--I haint time to notis
the groth of Ameriky from the time tho
Mayhowcrs cum over n,the Pilgrim and
brawt Plymouth Rock with them, but eve.
ry skool boy nose our kareer has bin tre.
monjous, You must excuse mo If | don't
prase the erly settlers nv the Kolonies---
People which hung idiotic ole wimen fur
wiches, burnt holes in Quaker's lungs, an
consigned their feller critecrs to the tred-
mil and pilery for the slightest provoca
shun, may hav bin nice focks in their way
but must confess don't admire their
stile, & will drap them all. spose they
ment well, & so IN the novel and teachin
languwidge ofthe nuespapers peas to their
ashes" Tharc was no discount, however,
on those bravo men who fl, bled and dide
in American Revolushun.
We needn't be afraid Of setting EN- up
two steep. Like my show, they will stand
a heep Of prase. G. Washington was abowt
the bes. man this world over sot eyes on,
and l hope those noble ladies, (may their
shadders never grow lossD who are tryin
to purchis his old humstd will hurry up
their cakes, a3 if they don't it is hily prob.
bic tho present owner will dig up his grato
namesake's bones, put them in Il glass
cage, and 60 into partnership with some
enterpiising Snowman. think tho shiv.
alrus man is adequate for anything in tho
money making line.
To rcason-G. Washington was clear
headed, warm hartcd, brave and stidy 60
in man. He never sLoPT OVER! The pre-.
in weakness of most publck men is to
SLOP OVER! Put them words in large
letters--A. WI They git filled up and
slop. They Rush Things. They travel
two much on high preshur principle. -
They git onto the furst popular hoby hoss
which trots along not carin sent whether
the beest is even goin, clear sited and sound
or spavind, or bawky. Of course they git
throwed eventoouly il not sooner. When
they sec tho multitoode goin IT blind, they
go Pei Mel with it inslid Of cxcrtin thon
selves to set it right.
They cant SEQ that tho crowd which is
now bearing them triumphantly on its
will soon dskivor its error and
cast them into the hoss pom Of O5llvyun
without tho slightest hositashun. Wash
ingion never Slopt Over. That wasn't
Geo's stile. lie luved his country decrly.
He was a human angil in korncrcd hat
and knee britches and We shan't see his
like right away. My friends, wc can't all
be Washingto1's, but we can all be patri,
DTS IL behave ourselves in human and
Christian manner. When we see q brother
yoin down hill to Ruin let us not give him
push, but let us .eezc rite hold of his coat
tail and drag him back to Mortality.
Be shur, and vote at least once at all
,lecshuns Buckle on your Armer and 90
to the Poles. See to that yer naber is
there, Sec that the kripples ar provided
with carriages. Go to the poles aud stay
all day. Beware Of the Infamous lies
which the Opposishun will be sartin to get
up fur perlitercal effeck on the eve OF elec.
r.. ~ tba ,ooloet to tha pOasl and |