Meigs County telegraph. [volume] (Pomeroy [Ohio]) 1848-1859, 1859-06-14
Tit-8it is.
ETvarie:y is the spice Of lie.

ETPrenice says OF tobacco, the NOR
men fume the less they fret.
ETAn object Of q interest"-a cir
whose income is $4,000 year.
EE Some wag wishes to know if a maj
feels girlish in making his maiden speech
EyrWhy is deputy sheriff like a new
and useful machine? Because he is sac
ing machine.
GTPrentice says Of an editor who said
he ''smelt II rat" that If lie did, and the
rat smelt him, the poor rat had the
worst Of it.
ETA puzzled etymologist complains
that Worcester is pronounced Wooster,
and wants to know why Rooster isn't
spelled RorceSter?
ET-A Cincinnati paper mentions a
successful hog dealer turned lawyer. We
hope he doesn't mean 10 turn from pork
packing to jury packing.
E1-It is a question worthy Of careful
investigation, whether person whose
voice is broken, is not all the more com
peten' to sing ''pieces?"
EE-Mrs. Paltington thinks that Mother
Ocean is no better than she ought to be,
or else she would not allow the Atlantic
cable TO lay in her bosonl
ER-A German writer observes that in
the United States there is such a scarcity
of thieves they are obliged to offer re-
ward for their discovery.
@An exchange says:-Along the
Mississippi wives never blow up their
usbands-they leave it to the steamboats,,
which are sure to do it, sooner or later.
GETke Boston "Traveler'' says with
great truth, that at is easier to get |
twenty good writer's than ONE good editor"
The fact is not, however, generally appre-
ciated.
E1-A young lady being. asked why
she did not attend a party to which she
had been invited, replied, 81 forgot all
about the party, and ate onions for break
fastp'
ES-Thc editor Of a well known maya
zine wears long goatee. A wag noticing
his habit of handling it while writing,
suggested that he was "milking his
brains"
Es'- Whens Haddiz's wife kicked him q
out of bed onecold night last winter, says a
he--"See here now, ould CONAN! you'd f
better not be. after dong that again--if }
you do, ii m ght cause a coolness." =
EB-"La! ma, 'ere's leage." y
Mamma (reproachfully )-''A beagle!
D. you hignorant gall Wy, it's a howl" t.
Keeper of the menagerie respectfully T
-"Axes pardon, mum-'tis an 'awk!" +,
Ey-A French wife wrote as follows to t
ler husband, - C
II write to you because I have nothing t'
o do; and l end nay letter. because l have al
low nothing to say" That's laconic
nough. T.
EH-"Why don't you buy thingumbob fc
nd what-do you call it your sidewalk W
nth it every morning." asked one neigh ST
or of another. because 1 hain't got g
0 what's is-its-name to buy it with," re- SO
lied the neighbor. as
EP-John Phenix went to the theater " ~
nee when Mrs. Smith was advertised to n
opear in tWo pieces. After The perform
Ice, he demanded the return of his
oney, for, said he, Mrs. Smith appeared e
lite schoIe during both performances.
Es-A western editor having heard ", %
lat TO persons in drowning condition, ~ ~
tie events of their past life suddenly ~, ~
Sc vividly before them, very modeslly b.;
;presses a wish that some of his dein- g.
lent subscribers would take to bathing ~
deep water! nj;
Gg-A man who was sentenced 10 be pr
ing, was visited by his wife, who said
my dear, would you like the children
see you executed?' !"
"No.." replied he. ne
"That's just like you" said she, "for We
IL never wanted the children to have a III
tie enjoyment" Oh Oa
&1-"My dear Polly, I am surprised am
yyur taste in wearing another wonan's mi
ir on your head" said Mr.. Coll Jones tba
his wife. pa,
my dear Coll, am equally astoni,hed cal
1t you persist in wearing another ma
eep's wool on your back!" ha,
Exit Coll, fairly shut up. boz
EVWhat are they talking about?"
led a member during debate on the tho
ney question. ;ns
was the reply. Sal
Theology! why | thought it was the une
ney question: roy
wei, money is their deity, and they tH: tT;,
discussing about that" I.rf
re- DR.. Stone, one of the most ccle- OIL,
ted and successful physicians of New owl
leans, being asked how many yellow bes
er patients he had lost during the past gol
sou, replied ter
About $500; as about that number ter
remains unaccounted for after the bor
er physicians had made their reports" edu
SS- An editor says his attention was -'' Il
drawn to matrimony by the skillful 0ua, -
lner in which pretty girl handled rms. roer
ON. 'oe'
! brother editor upon this remarks, yf ye"' .,
"the manner in which his wife han - VI