Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1859-06-04
A Map OF busy life, IFS VACCINATIONS, and
IFS vast tconcerns.-CoHPER.

Map OF DuSy tlie, It's Hut'"S'""'' anu
IFS vast cOncerns.-Co~PER.
Mrs. Pariington says Ike has bought
a horse so spiriuuus that he always goes
off IN deCanter.
A strap is sometimes very good hing
TO sharpen razors and doll boys.
The man who planted himself on his
good intentions has not yet sprouted.
A drunkard is called bOn.Uiuant, that
is a good liver, when he is noloTlOusly the
worst Of al ivers. and bears bad liver
within him.
/ Il TtMng Pun, do you know who
built This bridge % said person 10 Hook.
NO" replied the wit; "buI sou 60
over you'll be tolled ~
These men talk most who are in the
greatest mental darkness; frogs cease their
croakng when a light is brought 10
the waleIside.
The PhWosophy Of Names.-A good
name will wear out, a bad one may be
timed, a nickname lasts forever.
.Whal branch Of education do you have
chiefly in your school % "A branch OF
birch, sir; the master has used almosts
" hole tree
We know some men who are good ma
lured only when they are'no longer So
Der. Like smali-beer, they get sour IT
not soon drunk.
A negro once gave the following toast:
J.. & a
berry llrle opposition, he 60 out wild none
al all"
TO be born with silver spoon in your
mouth is lucky; but twice lucky he who
can open his mouth without beraying the
spoon
There is phrenologst near the docks
who can tell the contents oi.a barrel by
examining its head. lie makes his ex-
aminsIions with gimlei.
Among the prominent benevolent OBJ
jecis of the day, we perceive the call for
the formation Of society for the amelio-
ration Of the condition Of women with
snoring husbands.
Dean Swift, hearing Of q carpenter fsl.
ling through the scsfolding Of a house
which he was engaged in n.repairing dryly
remarked that he had got through his
work promptly.
"Gubbins is very close" il was observ.
ed "he will squabbe about sringle far
thing" "Well." remarked Sharp, II
have always thought the less one squsb-
bles about the better"
"You think you are great man." said
an imperlnent fellow 10 a gentleman
whom he had offended. "Yes. | ANA
real humpsr," replied the gentleman.
suilng the action TO tie word.
so see you have put on your best
suit for dinner" "Oh, yes; | expected
The dinner 10 be well.dressed for me. so
thought could not do less than return the
comp pllment."
A pleasant companion. The Duchess
de Maine once frankly declared, 81 am
very fond of company, for listen to no
one, and every one listens 10 me-"
The general brand of husbands.--It
is strange, but every womsn's husband
is the very worst that ever lived, until he
is sllsckcd, and then, "dear fellow" he
j. the very best
THE use Of crinOline.-A lady who
began 10 weary o. the criticisms Of par
| ~ Of youngsters on crinoline, exclsimed.
$50 long as hooped skirts keep foolish
people al a convenient distance, just so
long will they be tolerated"
The defence of The Tay-"h is
the Tsy you're defending :" burst in an
impetuous- lrishman, not paying tie,
slightest alenlion 10 the previous part
Of The discussion. "WeIl. ! can tell
you, It's not bad stuff. gentlemen. scream.
ing hol. lots OF sugar and plenty Of wbls-
key in ii ~
French WifliciSmS- msslrr babe
his servant 90 out and see what tine tie
sun disI indicated. WHY. SIR expos
rnlaled Ire servant, "ir is night" What
does that matter! Can you moi loks a
csntle 2 asg
Another "wise man Of Gotham" made
his sleep in chamber sdjoiDirg bis
own. He cried out to bim. on one occs.
sion. George, asIeepr' Yes cir,
replied The conscientious George. "Ah,
good !"
An astronomer. gazing at ibe moon. fell
into a'poDd. "llsd you looked into tie
water, said cOunHymsn 10 him, "you
might have seen The moon; but. by gazing
on the moon, you could never have seen
The pond"
Taking USEFUL preeaufions-A Gsy-
eller, IN the 'good old days Of hisbwsy-