Muscatine weekly journal. [volume] (Muscatine, Iowa) 185?-1890, 1859-09-30
FunMygraphs.

Tkis law, they say, great natures chain connects
That CAUSES ever must produce EFFECTS;
In me behold reversed great natures laws,
All my RPFEcTs lost by single cAusE.
"You can't says Tom to lisping Bill,
"Flnd any rhyme to month,
"a great mistake" was Bills reply,
''ill find rhyme At onth.'
Fly A rascally old bachelor says, the
friendship of two women is always a plot
against q third.
To YOU'VE MEN ONLY.-When your lady
love can't be moved by any other process,
try the leave-her.
~Moses seeing, a chap hoeing and en-
other moving in the same field, remark cd
that these occupations wore decidedly hoe
homogeneous.
Gy"Teaching the young idea how to
shoot'' 10 more fantastically rendered-in'
sructing the juvenile mind in the perform
ancesof the operation which is accomplished
by the discharge of fire. arms.
GTA little girl, showing her little cousin
about four years old a star, said, That
star you see there is bigger than this world.'
mo it aims" said he.
eyes it is."
.Then why don't it keep the rain OFF,"
E-A colored lady was arrested in
New York for stealing parasol. She Of
fered, Us an excuse TO the magistrate, that
the sun was spelling her complexion. He
took pity on her and sent her to prison for
six months to bleach.
E Some yeurs ago clergyman In New
bnryport, Mass. being asked what his peo-
ple thought of the second advent, replied
that. HE had never succeeded in conVinc-
ing them Of the first advent, and had not
thought best to inquire into their opinion
of the second"
~ "Cap:ain, what's the fare to St.
Louis 2" .t -,
.'What part of the boat do you wish to go
on-cabin or deck %
"Hang your cabin" said the gentleman
from, Indiana. II live in cabin at home;
give me the best you have got!" ....
e<A Frenchmsn being about to move
his shop, his landlord inquired the reason,
stating at the same time, that it was consld :
cred very good stand for business. The
Frenchman replied with shrug of his
shoulders, ooh, yes, he's very good stand
for de business, by gar ; me stand all day
for nobody come to make me move"
They DIDN'T "TAKE THE PAPERS. ."-Some
years ago, lady, noticing that neighbor
was not in her seat at church one Sabbath,
called on her return home to see what
should detain so punctual an attendant
On entering the the house, she found the
family busy at work. She was surprised
when her friend addressed her tz....
s'Why, La where have you been TO day,
dressed up in your Sunday cloths ?''
.'To meeting Sabbath day"
"Sal, stop washing in minute Sab
bath day! Well, didn't know, for my
husband has got 50 plaguey stingy he won't
take the papers, and We know nothing
Well, who preached I" .s.s ID
.'Mr. -" al, ........
.sWhat did he preach about ?" -.. 80.
s'It was on the death of our Saviour
"Why. is he dead Well, all Boston
might be dead, and we know nothing about
iti 1t won't dove must have the news
paper again, for everything goes wrong
without the paper. Bill has almost lost
his reading, and Polly has got quite mopish
again. because she has no foetry and stories
to read. Well, if we have to take cart load
of onions and potatoes to market, I'm re-
solved to have newspaper"