The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1859-05-21
Artomas Ward Secs Piocolomini.
From lhc Cleveland plsmd,.l,r

lNHl WV NlfNflANN I iAallNfalfFf
Gcnts-I nrroyed in Cleveland on Satur.
day j.. NJ. from Baldins,ille jest in time to
iX myself up and put on clean billed rag to
attend Miss Ptklehomow's CRATE musical
sorry at the MvIndcon. The krovds which
porrd into the hall augursd woll for the show
bissnis a. with cheerful epcrrcts lined the
ruthoosinstio throng. | asked Mr.. Strakhosh
at the door II he parst the profession, and he
set not much he didn't whereupon | baWt u
preserved seat in the pit, and ohsarying 10
Mr.. Strakhosh that he needn't put on 40 many
French airs bccaWz hc run with n big show
aud that he'd better let his weskut out fcu
inches >nr perhaps he'd bust hisselr some hnc
day, went in and squatted down. II was
a sad thnwt to think that in all that vast au-
jiencc Scarcely a sole had the honor Of my
acquaintance. "& this erc,' sed bitturly,
els Fame, What sgncriy my wax igcrs
and lvin Wild beasts (Which have no ekalsl
To these pcpies Nruut 10 ,iWy care uccaWe
a site Of my Kangaroo is worth double the
price of admission, aud that my Snakes is ~
harmlis as the new born babc-al Of which
is stricl,ly troo-f7, shood have gone on
ralein at Foriin and things sum more but
just THEN Signcr Maccarony cum out aud
sung hnircy from sum opry or other. He
had on his store close & looked putty slick
| must say. Nobody didn't understand
nothin abowt What he seG and so they ap-
plwadca him vcrsiferusly. Then Signcr
Briguoly cum out & sung another hairey-
lie appeared 10 bc in a Pensv Mood 4 sung
u Luvy song ! spose, tho he may have bin
cussin the nujlence oil into o heep for aut
knowd. Then cum Mr.. Maccarony agn &
Miss Picklchomouy herself They sang
Dot together.
Now you know, VVuts, thEt rur,it admire
opry music But like Miss Picklehomony's
stile. like her gate. She suits me. There
has been CRATER singers and there has bin
more bootlul wimin, but no more Gssinatin
young female ever longcd for u new COVE or
side to place her head ugin n vest pattern
than Maria Picklehomony Fassnatin pcplc
is her best holt She was born to make
of mems buzzums and other wimin mad be-
cawz they aint Picklchomonics. Her face
sparkles with Rmuzin cusscdncss and about
300 1.-TWO huudrcd) little b., Of funny devils
air continually dancin champion iigs in her
eyes. snid dRes bcin brite cnuH 10 lite pipe
by. 'Iow lshood like TO hav little Maria out
on nTy farm in Baldinsville Injiany, WHARF
she Good run in the tall grass, wrastle with
the boys, cut up strong at parin bees mako
up faces behind the ministers back, tie auc-
tion bills to the Skoolmastcrs coat tales, set
all the fellers crazy after her, * holler 4
kick up, and go it just as much MS she want
ed to But diegres. Every time she cum
cantcrin out grew more and more deited
with her. When she bowed her he'd bow cd
mine. When she .powtd her lips | powtid
mine. When she larfed laried. When she
jerked her head back and took lplin- sur
vey nf the audience, sendin broadside Of
sassy smiles in among 'em, tried to unjirt
myself & kollapse. When, in tellin how she
dremt she lived in Marble Halls, she scd it
tickled her more than all the rest to dream
she loved her feller still the same, made
effort to swuller myself; but when, in the
next song. she looked strate at me and called
me her Dear, ! wildly told the man next to
me that he mite hav my close, as ] shood
never want 'em ngin no more in this world.
The Plain Dealer contuinin this communica-
shun is not to to be sent to my famcrly in
Baldiusyille under no circumstances whntsom-
ever.
In conclushun, Maria, want you to do
we'll. / know you air nice gal at hart x
W must get good husband lie must be n
man Of branes and gumpshum & good
provider--a mau who will luv VA strong and
long--a man who will luy yu Jest as much
in your old age, when your voice is cracked
like nm old tea kittle & yu can't get of your
notes discounted at 80 per cent a month, as
he will now, when you are young & charmin
& full of music, sunshine g. fun Don't
marry n snob, Maria. You ain't a Angel,
Maria, I'm glad of il. When / see angels
in pettycoats I'm always sorry thay haint got
wings so thay hin quietly fly off where thay
will 10 appreshiated You are a woman, &
a mighty good one too. AS for Maccurony
Brignoly, Mullenhuller and them other fell.
ers, they can take cair of thcirselycs Old
Mac. kin make comfortable livin chopin
cord wood il his voice ever giys out, g. Amo-
dio looks as tho he mite succeed in conductin
sum quiet toll gate, whare the vittles would
be plenty g. the labor lite.
am prepaTjn for tn, Summer CHmpane.
l shall stay in Cleveland few days and
probly you will hear from me aRin ear leave
TO once more becum a tosser on lies TEN
pestuouse billers. meaning the Show Bsnes.
Very Respectively Yours
ARTESiAs WARD.