Meigs County telegraph. [volume] (Pomeroy [Ohio]) 1848-1859, 1859-04-05
Tit-8 its

Will be found some hne suggestions iol
raising peaches" We suppose that in his
imside may be found the peaches them,
selves.
~"That's fine strain" said on gen.
tleman to another alluding to the tones Of
singer at concert the other evening
"Yes," said a countryman who sat near,
''but if he strains much more he'll bust
w"Och, Pathrick, and are ye aslape
jist?
"Divil the slape am |"
"Well, thin, would yez by afther lindiDg
us the mather of a quarter?"
"l'm aslape, be jabers."
TELEGRAM.-The Burlington "Times" "
says: 1--WE have tried on with some
pertiDacity, the use Of the word telegram,
and frankly admit that we don't like it,
and can't get used to it; and we write this
paragran, TO let the world know IT,"
~"O, Mrs. Jones'" said Miss Dryer,
lady of uncertain age, as she hurried INTO
a neighbours one morning, 81 had such a
horned dream last night! dreamt
was married-actually married to man!
and when l woke up 1t was such a relief
Mrs. Jones Gained her friend by assuring
her there was no probability of such tel
rible catastrophe ever happening to her,
Ew"Tom, why did you not marry Miss
G?'
ooh, she had a sort of cussed hesitancy
in her speech, and so left her."
"a hesitancy in her speech-l never
heard of that before. Are you not mista-
ken?"
"No, not at all--for, when | asked her
if she would have me? she hesitated SO
long that cut her for another girl"
%There was deacon in town nj
New Hampshire, named Day; by trade
cooper.
One Sabbath morning he heard a num-
Der of boys playing in front fthe house,
and he went out. as any saint would do, to
stop their Sabbath breaking.
Assuming grave countenance, he said
to them
Boys, do you know what day this is?"
Eyes, sir" Immediately replied one of
them, deacon Day, the cooper!
Amid round of laughter from the boys,
the deacon slid.
~A man who can endure to have
his corns mashed without grumbling is
undoubtedly possessed of an amiabe dis
position. One of those true peace makers
being once at a political meeting, he said
in pleasant manner to big bully fellow
who was standing upon his toe-"My
dear sir, are you not a mller?" "No sir,
why do you ask?' "Why, sir, the fact
Is, thought you were a miller, aud a very
honest one, too, because you have been
grinding my corn this half hour without
taking toll
MH-When Lord Townsend was Lord
Lieutenant of ireland, the then Provost Of
Dublin lost no opportunity of repeating
solicitations for places. "My dear HeIy,"
said his lordship, 'you have asked a great
many things. and have nothing to give
but captaincy of dragons" 81 ac-
cept it, then!'' replied the provost
"What, you take captaincy" answered
his lordship. "Zounds! it is impossible;
l only meant it as joke" And accept
it," replied the provost, "merely to show
y ou how well l can take a joke!'
EF The Colonel was an addition to any
company, especially the special one who
were going from Wheeling to St. Louis a,
that special time. Somebody who had his
well being at heart, said to the old man:
Colonel, amt you rather afraid to
drink SO much whieky?"
"Gentle- men," said the Colonel, "it
isn't at all my style; never drink whisky
at home, and I'm only doing it now out OF
for the Captain
"For the Captain?" queried half a dozen
voices.
"Yes, gentlemen for tie Captain. He
las stated to me that The water in the river
is very low-scarce, very. DO you think,
gentlemen, that would, under the cir
cumstances use any Of the precious fluid,
and perhaps prevent the boat getting down
The river? i understand my duty to the
Captain too WELL"
Str LovENGooD AND THE LOCOMOTIVE.
The III st locomotive Sut ever saw WAS
standing with steam up, and nearly ready |
10 go, making no noise save suppressed
from the safety valve. SUI had,
in his skeery, cautious way, clambered 10
.he top Of the tender TO find out "what
sort owe beaste" it WAS, when the engi
leer sIyly gave the whistle lever long
oull-sbay-y-y! Sutlit twenty feet dis
auce on pile Of cord wood, and running
until he got Strengthened up he turned
round. all eyes and said
"VNat in the deuce did you do to it
Just at this momenta negro came trund-
ing truck. with a cooking stove, joint
# pipe on flue hole, and pots and pans
IangiDg all round. Sut took look first
Il the stove aud then at the locomotive;
ight broke out over his perplexity and he
shouted TO the engineer:
"Oh, yes, l understand it all now; the
iarned old brute wac jist nickerin' for her
'oltl" i