Meigs County telegraph. [volume] (Pomeroy [Ohio]) 1848-1859, 1859-11-01
Git 8its,

E9-A An Irish paper advertisss--"Wan-
ted able bodied man. as washerwoman. ="
EEExtremes meet. Civilization and
barbarism come together. Savage Indi-
ans and fashionable ladies paint their faces.
EyA negro's instructions for putting
on a coat were; "Fust de right arm den de
lef, and den glib one general conwulshun." !"
EF"Ars you the mate?" said an Irish
man in New Orleans to the cook OF ship
lying in port" "No," said he, "bat m
the man as boils the mate"
EwA Londoner having asked brother
e cockney the other day how he liked All
Columbia, said he wouldn't give glass Of
. 'Alf and 'aIf for 'ogshead hof it.
Ey-A publisher lately spent fifty shil-
linys for the purpose of getting up "a new
head for HIS paper. Better kept the
r money, and bought new head for the
editor. gr F%... .teo,fi p.
y Hearing physician remark that a
small blow will break the nose, rustic
o exclaimed: "Wel. l dunno about that, l
~ have blowed my nose great many times,
and never broke i. yet."
wr"Mother, can't l 90 and have my
daguerreolype taken?" No, my child, /
guess it isn't worth while" Well, then,
You might let me 60 and have a tooth
pulled; | never go anywhere"
be- RI5z>R.,ta, 49,. al ,L.t co,.,o,
Douglas would never be President, "be-
cause his coat tails were too near the
ground" The "litlle giant evidently
acting on this hint. has adopted round
about habit.-,Spirit of tile lines.
EEA gentleman once said he should
like to see boat full of ladies' set adrift
on the ocean, to see what course they
would steer. A lady in the room replied,
That's easily !old-they would steer for
the Isle of man, to be sure"
EHA young lady recently remarked
with much simplicity, that she could not
understand what her brother William saw
in girls, that he liked them so well; and
that, for her part, she would not give the
B company of one young man for that Of
twenty girls. t
D-"A parson cornered 4 farmer,
whom he seldom saw at his minist,ations,
by asking him directly after little reproof
OF his Sin Of omission, "Shall we see you
at church next Sabbath?" Yes" he
replied, slowly. Yes. III go--or send
hand"
ETWe cut the following advertisement
from paper published in the far west:
"fo rent, home in Melville Avenue. To-
Gated, Immediately alongside of fine plum
garden, from which an abundant supply
may be stolen during the season. Rent
low, and the greatest part taken in plums.
EH-It has been calculated that the hairs
of the tip of a dogs tail of the average
length of thirteen inches (lail, not hair)
are made to traverse 25, 433 miles by the
simple act Of wagging, during an ordinary
happy life of nine years, TWO months,
eleven days, which is the mean lifetime of
a dog.
EE-A gentleman complaining TO his
boot-maker that pair of boots recently
sent to him were too short and that he
wanted a pair to cover the whole calf, had
the following jeu'd esprit sent him:
These boots were never made for me,
They are too short by half;
want them long enough d'see,
To cover all the culf
Why, sir, said Last. with sfed smile,
To alter them III try;
But II they cover all the calf
They L.ust be aYe feet high!
.-- A GHosTLY MIsTAKE.-S--n, one of
the sick orderlies of Woolwich, was di-
rected to remove from certain ward a
gunner who had just ceased the mortal
struggle Taking the shell, he went by
mistake to the bedside Of poor sufferer,
almost gone, to place him in it.
"What-do you want-with me?"
muttered the dying man, every word cost
ing him pang.
ITO put you into this box!" said the
orderly, with unfeeling GOODNESS.
"But--l pray you won't-for | am still
alive!'' EE'
"Hold your tongue!" rejoined S--n,
reproachfullY. Don't you think the
doctor knows better than you."-l5id.
------------sND sNDs----