Staunton vindicator and general advertiser. (Staunton, Augusta County, Va.) 1858-1860, 1859-01-29
afliisetIlalreous.
Sheridan's Wit.

III COuutCtiOu Will tue DfuTy Aaue Iued-
tire, rebuilt By Holland, the architect, and
BY him leased to Sheridan who became
largely in his debt:
Holland could never obtain settlement
or an interview on the subject with Sheri-
dan. He hunted him for weeks at his own
house, at the theatre, at his usual resorts /;
but he was nowhere to be seen. At last he
tracked him to the stage door, rushed in, in
spite Of theopposition ofthe burly porter, and
found the manager on the stage conversing
with party Of gentlemen whom he had in
vited to show them the theatre. Sheridan
saw Holland approaching, and knowing that
escape was this time impossible, put a bold
face on the matter.
'Ah I! my dear fellow exclaimed he; you
are the very man wanted to see--you
have come most npropos I am truly sorry
you have had the trouble Of calling on me
SO often, but NOW we are met, in few min
utes | shall be at liberty; We will then go
into my room together and settle our affairs.
But first you must decide an important
question here. Some Of these gentlemen
tell me there are complaints, aud loud ones
that the transmission of sound Is defective
in yotr beautiful theatre. That; in fact,
the galleries cantot hear at all, and that is
the reason why they are so noisy Of late
Sound defective not hear 7 reiterated
the astonished architect turning pale, and
almost staggering back; why it is the most
perfect building for sound that was ever
erected, Til stake my reputation on it, the
complaint is most groundless.'
80 / say retorted Sheridan; but now
Veil bring the question to issue definitely,
and then have paragraph or two in the
papers. DO you, Holland, 60 and place
yourself at the upper gallery, while | stand
here and talk to you
Certainly, said Holland, with the great
est pleasure @.#
A lantern was provided with a trusty
Guide and away went the architect through
a labyrinth, of dark and winding passages,
almost days journey, until he reached his
distant elevated post.
Now, Holland, cried Sheridan; ARE you
there and ready.
YES was the Immediate answer.
| Can you hear me 2
Perfectly, perfectly, Mr.. Sheridan
Then wish you very good morning.
Sosaying, Sheridan disappeared and was
two or three miles off before Hollands des.
cent Another long interval occurred ere
he was able to chase the fugitive to his lial
again.
MATERNAL JoYs.-An exchange perpe-
trates the following scandal:
''Ba-a-a, ba-a-a-a! shrieked half ma
ked infant Of about eighteen months old
''What's the matter with mammals thweet
little dtckey,' says the afectionate moth.
while she presses it to her bosom, and the
young serpent, in return digs its talons into
her face. "Da'; den, Missus, know what
little Master Sim wants. exclaimed The
cherub's negro nurse "You black huzzy
why didn't you tell me then 2" And the
Infatuated mother gives Dinah punch il
the chops with her shoe. "Why, he wants
put his foot in dat pan OBJ grady" whim
pered the unfortunate darkey. :" Well
why don't you bring it here, you aggravat
ing niger % replied the mother Of til,
bawling little one. Dinah brings the PAL
with the gravy, and little Sam puts his bar,
feet into it, and dashes the milk warn
grease about nig sweet little shanks, to thu
infinite qualification of his mamma, VIII
tenderly exclaimed, ibid mammals littlt
Simmy WANT to put his tceny weeny tootieI
in the gravy? It shall paddle in the par
as it soosey vooseys, and then it shall have
its poozy red frock on, and go and see it,
pappy -pappy."
LIVE FOR DUrY. Young man, voting
woman, resolve at once to make dssty the
one great business of life. You will then
| be armed with the triple mail against the
inward suggestions and outward pressure Of
evil. You will then be tower Of strength
against which the weak may lean.
The eye can rest upon no more commend
able object than the young man or woman
who lives for duty; who with stern resolve
walks unAinchingly along its narrow path.