The day book. [volume] (Norfolk, Va.) 1857-1867, 1859-10-24
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MONDAY EVENING, OCT. "a.


LADY If there is al yihing can do to
make you more comfortable, let me
know.
DoMYs7lc-Eo .missus, it's impossible.
You can't alter your hggcr no more'n |
can. Your dresses Wont fit me, and
can't appear ON Su! days as used to
could at my last place, where missus'
clothes fit ell exactly You see, after 50
many Inconvenience, it would be utterly
impossi Die for us to reside in the same
house.
Exit female domestic. Missus feels
decidedly fattered to think there is
slight difference in their fggers, not only
for personal appearance sake, but for
protection Of wardrobe.
PUzzLED.-Nattie is four years of age,
aud one evening not long since, while
preparing for bed, he began to ask who
made the stars, trees and 50 forth. To
silence him from further inquiries he was
told that God made every thing that was
made. He then asked if God made the
dark, and what did he make it for? He
. was told briefly, $50 that little boys
could go to bed ard sleep" Turning,
with his eyes Enlightened with the thought
he says,
Then what did God make candles
for?''
AN ITEM FOR HoUsEKEtPERs.-Afur fur
ny writer advises, that when your friends
are laid up with rheumatism, always
press them t. come over and take tea
with you. While such acts of Kindness
entailed 10 eSpense, they procure for you
larger reputation tor sympathy and
neighboily kindness. Nth proper dis
elimination there is nothing that pays
better profit than goodness of heart"
The Chinese method OF taking off boots
is as follows:-They place the brogan in
a vice, and apply yoke to the neck,
worked by wheel, which only stops
working when the boots or head c, mes
off.
SQUIRE JACK, was cabinet maker
and undertaken, known far and wide as a
master workman.
One day couple came to his office to
get married. The mans face was fami-
liar to the Squire, and he ordered him off
in this wise: 1880.
"Begone you scoundrell You haven't
paid me for your first wJe's co6,n!"
A friend, says an exchange, returning
from depot few mornings since, with
bottle of freshly impaired Maine
Law" saw young lady whom be must
inevitably join. Sc, putting the bottle
under his arm, he softly walked along
side.
"Wtll," said tie young lady, after dis
posing OF health and wealth, "what is
that bundle IN der your arm?" from
which size discovered dark fluid drop
ping.
ooh, nothing but coat the tailor has
been needing for me"
sob, coat is it Well, you'd better
carry it back and get him to sew up one
hole mvre-it leaks.
GENERAL LovER.-Thele is class of
beaux, who, without being absolutely
vci US, are the admirers Of the sex gen.
orally, without ever so far fixing their
passions as to settle them on any one OBJ
ject. This general lover is not so much
of fool and knave as the gay deceiver,
though be is member of the same fami-
ly.
A VERMONT RkPARTEE. A recruiting
officer whispered to rosy-chreked dam
sci as she was putting on her bonnet at
the close of quilting party
"Wiil you allow me to accompany you
home22
"No, sir, Pm engaged" said she in
loud tone, so as to give notorlety to the
transaction.
"You miss it most prodigiously !" said
the military wag, "ior have got both
pockets chuck full of Il lger-bread I
BROKEN DUroH.-E re Danville Reg
lister says OF military parade held there
on Monday last On the march up and
down the street, one Of the subordinate
officers, who Commanded a section of the
company, frequently exhofted his squad
som thing in this style, in broken Dutch:
'Mensn, why don't you come up DEERE?
You ye too tam dllunk to see straight.
Wat tor ye do dat ye don't come up
deare Won't yer get inter iine !? "
4 man Who passes Though life with
out marrying, is like fair manson lett
by the builder unfinished. The half that
is complete runs " decay from neglect,
without the addition vi that which makes
the VIII, lie useful.
Jerroli says that young Buys marry old
maids, gather, In the spring of life, the
golden fruits OF autumn"
TLOORlNG-3,OO0 IN fresh uIessed Floor
u ing, lust received and for sale W by
oc 3 + ZANTZINGEK.