Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1859-08-29
JOB BOWERS, WEBBING.

tains, boasts OF one Of the best judges in CAL
lfornia. On the bench be is firm, decided and
prompt, not caring the snap Of his finger for
either the applause of friends or the mutter-
lngs OF enemies lie is, perhaps, the most de-
voted man in all creation, and has his head so
fuii oil what he terms .'judicisl talk, that he
not unfrequently finds himself making learned
charges and passing sentences outside the
courtroom. '
On recent occasion, the Judge was called
upon to exercise the "power and authority
In him vested in the case Of young couple
who wished their hands joined in the holy
bonds of wedlock. OF cours, he con, Q nted to
perform the pl, asing duty, and on the ap-
pointed evening WAS promptly on hand at the
house where the sffair was to come off The
room was crowded with the beauty and fashion
Ct the town, and none looked more dignified Oh
happy than the Judge himself, who was dressed
within an inch Of his life.
1t Is customary, on occasions like the one re-
ferred to, for the people of the mountain town
to pass around the wine quite freely, and, to
their everlasting credit we will add they con.
slider il no harm to manifest an interest In the
Joyous event Of getting married" Tho Judge
Is an admirer OF the fair sex, having in the
course of his life led the third one to the altar
To use his own language, he is "a great believer
in weddings and that he should become a
little mellow amid the glorious scenes of the
evonirg was not to be wondered at by those
who knew him intimately. He had the weak.
ness OF all good judges-he would take his
'stOd"
The wine had passed round and round. The
music had ceased. The time for making Joseph
Bowers and Nancy Harkens one had arrived
Every heart throbbed with plcasurable emo
tion.- The young gentlemen desired to know
how Joe" would stand il, and the Young Ia
dies were anxious to see how "Napce" would
suffer the awful shock. Others, again, who had
closely observed the turn of affairs during the
evening, fixed their attention upon the Judge,
TO see how he would come out Of the scrape.
AT length the trying moment was announced
The Judge arose very cautiously from the chair
which he occupied in the corner of the room.
and casting his eyes over the company, he rec.
ognlzed the sheriff of the county who was pres
ent as an invited guest. The Judge had i'm
bibed just enough to make him forget the na-
ture OF his business. He was full of his in
dlclal talk, and required nothing but the
presence Of the sheriff to start him. Looking
sternly at the officer, he shouted:
mir. Sheriff, open the court, and call them
to order"
general twitter followed this command. in
the midst OF which the sheriff took the court
gently by the arm, and led him to his seat in
the corner, at the same time informing the
august parsonage of his mistake. Everything
now bid fair for a pleasant and sudden termi.
nation OF the affair, until another annoyance.
which was nothing less than the absence of the
bridegroom, was Observed
1t turned out that he had just stepped across
the street to join his friends in parting drink.
but before his return some cold -blooded wag
had whispered into the ear of our foggy Judge
the cause Of "delay in the proceedings.' IN
stantly the chair in the corner moved, and i'm
that direction all eyes were fixed
g Mr.. Sheriff, slowly drawled the Judge,
bring Joe into the court on a supensr"-the
Judge had his own way of pronOuncing the
words-then addressing the bride who stood in
the foreground, and hung her head in confu-
sion, he added g. s'pOse you are the plain
tiff Well, don't take on. Innocence and yir-
tue will be protected by this here COURT
This was the saddest blunder of all. The
Judge WAS again made to see his mistake. and
would have been considerably set back. had il
not been for a corrective in the shape of "forty
drops of the critter," which he instantly ap-
piled.
In few moments all was ready in right
down earnest. The bridegroom had arrived.
full Of joy The bride in gorgeous array
stood by his side. The company pressed for
ward The excitement was intense The Judge
never looked so dignifed in his life He evil
IDENTITY felt every inch judge.
4" "J-J-o-w-e B-B-o-w-e-r-s' - commenced the
man OF law, in that distressing style of speech
with which he was invariably troubled when
the influence Of liquor, "J-J-o-w-e B-B-o-w-
e-r-s. stand up. Have y-you anything to say
w-w-hy sentence,
/" Stop, stop, stop, judge" shouted the Sher.
if from the back part of the room, syou are
not going to hang the man, but marry him. -
The judge drew a long breath, and winked
rapidly, but stood his ground we'll Recover
ing himself he proceeded:
"J-J-o-e Blowers, do y-y-you take Nancy
H-H-Harkens for y-y-your wife b e help you-''
This was q tolerable effort, and Joe nodded
assent
"N-N-Naney H-H- -Harkens it now remains
for this here c-c-court-"
Here the Sheriff again interrupted the Judge,
reminding him Of the real business of the eve.
ming.
"Miss N-Nsncy." resumed the Judge, after
being set right, "d-do y-y-you take J-Joe
Bowers for q husband. ito the best of your
knowledge or b-belief or do you not?''
You bet, softly answered the Ii ght-hearted
Nancy.
The Judge then took the hands of the happy
couple, and joining them, wound up the bust
ness as follows: ,-.- -
1T now r-r-renaips for this here court TO
pronounce you, J-J-JOe Bowers, and you
N-Naney H-Harkens, man and wife; and (here
the Judge paused to wipe the perspiration from
his fsce,) m may the Lord have m mercy on
y-your soul, Sheriff, remove the culprits,' -
The company roared; the Sheriff was taken
with a leaving. The Judge let himself out in
glass of apple-jack Taken ut large, it was
the greatest wedding ever witnessed.