The Cass County Republican. [volume] (Dowagiac, Mich.) 18??-1880, 1859-01-06
How Sal and me got Married
By PETER sPoRUM, ESQ.

49, ~ BY PETEE SPORUM, ESQ.
Well, at last mite cum, that orful
mite as was to fetch me into new state
NY bein, an it foun me in dreadful fix,
fust I felt good, then bad, fust proud,
then skeered like five hundred. /
went over in the mornin afore the
eyentful mite, too see Sal, and foun her
takin it nifty easy, rather in hurry for
mite too cum, / tho't. AS fur me was
in hurry wun minnit, and the next,
felt like I'd rather little it had been
put off.
AFTER supper / washed, then I put
on the cleanest sort Nv a shirt that
Aunt Jane had primmed up, and fixed
my har an crevat, was reddy so off
puts to SAILS dads, and / reckin / dun
about as much thinkin a goin over thar
as was ever dun by any in the same
time. At last l arriv, an was marched
into whar Sal was-she sorter blushed
and then sot on one side and looked
about as sweet as emmy -four you seed.
thot she was purity creeter as /
ever lade my Use on.
Direckly SAILS sister ses, the passon's
cum an in we marched whar thar was
fifty folks, and felt nifty skeered, but
tried my level best to keep stiff upper
lip. Well, we TUX our places, Sal a
hanging on too my arm an me lookin
Mt the fore. Then the Passon ses he !:
"Do you take this CONAN The might
have said young LADY, as you hold by
the hand to be you're lawful wife too
help her, to luv her an to nus her, till
deth duz We part.
I'll doc my best, ses /, (standin flst
on one leg an then on tother, fur--s.h
the world like turkey on.s-hor rock.
Then he looked-st-SaI, an says he !:
ssDu you take this man like he didn't
no mi name) as You hold by the hand,
= to be your lawful husband, too nus him
an too help him an too onor and obay
him an so on, tell deth dus you
part? Yes, sir, ses Sal. Then, ses he,
/ pronounce you both man on wife
salute yer bride. With that clinched
ad give her about as hearty bus as
ever you heered, then the fellers all
cum around an kissed Sal like blazes,
YOU could see that it dun EN- good from
the way they pitched in. / thought
Sal orter stopped it but she never sed
a word; as fur me | kissed right an
left, and cum mighty neer kissin a
nigger gal as was a fetchin sum water,
when every body begins giglin, and
begins to feel mighty mean.
AFTER while the kissin and foolin
was over, and we all pitched into the
goodies, and if ever l saw sweetnin fly,
It was then. / ct till liked to a pop
ped, and every body else dun the same.
About ten o'clock they all left, and
sum of the boys ses, Peter, won't you
60 home with us, an all such things, a
devilin NV me tell / hardly noed what
to doc or whar to go. AFTER they all
left, thar sot bi myself tell niger
gal Gums to the door, an ses:
Mass Peter, Miss SAILS a watin for
You.
Whar is she /? ses I.
She's in her room, ses she.
Well, tell her to cum down, ses /,
I'm reddy to 60 emmy whar she wants
But, ses she, she's in bed.
Oh yes, ses /, forgot. But ses
its early yet, amt it. -.
She seed / was skeered, and begin
snickering tell picked up my hat, az
follored her, tell she cum to door, ant
ses that's you're room. My hart jumped
up to my throte, as / knocked at the
dore, but nobody answered, knocked
agin, an then a gittin desprit, opened
the dore, and jeewhilikins the colo
chills run over me tell / felt like som,
body was pullin ceder bush up al
down my back. Thar was Sal fas
asleep Tor pretending like, as / fount
out,) and the candle shinin as lite a
rs day.
/ stood some time lookin nit,
foolish an then put my hat on cheer
Next / draws my cote off; it was NIT,
hard to git off-then ] shed my jacket
an the balance of my harness, tell Z
cum too my boots them was the uns
pulled / tugged aud jerked, but they
wouldn't nigh cum off and happcnin t
look roun, l thought seed Sal a pee
pin at me outer wun eye, so / blose tn,
lite out gets my boots off and thel
-: but it amt nobody's business
so / shant tell any more
Well, I've tried marryin sum time al
must say that after teller gifts used t,
it, it amt bad thing in fact it floso
fises as follows:
Margin is good thing. Its graf
thing as aunt Jane ses, CRATE institu
ton (how she nose l cant tell, fur sh
never had chance to try it.) It's goot
for every body. Ar you old marry, it'll
make you young, Tor you'll die tryin t.
per SOL Ar you young, it'll make you
old. In fact its sooted to everybody
It's a ten rale fence that society ha'
built up to keep folks inside the bounds
nv good behavior, and tho I've had my
ups an downs in it, and no all about it
efiliI sfav-Hoorax for ,narru