Meigs County telegraph. [volume] (Pomeroy [Ohio]) 1848-1859, 1859-08-02

EY-There is secret order in Hudson,
Wisconsin, styled the l. o. of G. w., 1n-
dependent Order Of Grass Widowers.
ES-A negro once gave this toast: "0e
late Gubernor OBJ de State-he comes in
wild berry little opposition, him go out wild
none at all"
@-A French author says: "When |
= lost my first wife, every family offered me
another; but when I lost my horse, no one
offered to make him good"
EENo man can tell whether be is rich
or poor by turning to his ledger. 1t is the
heart that makes man rich. He is rich
or poor according to what he is, not ac-
cording to what he has.
RE-In an address to French electoral
community, the candidate stated that he
had shed all his blood for his country, and
was ready to shed it again.
wAn Irish post boy, having driven a
gentleman long stage during torrents of
rain, the gentleman said to him, "Paddy,
are you not very wet?'' mo, please yer
honor, I'm very dry"
N-An exchange says, the best cure
for palpltatation of the heart. is to leave
off hugging and kissing the girls. If this
is the only remedy that can be produced,
we for one say, let 'er palpilste!
EB-"What a fine gentlemann' ex-
claimed young lady, when walking out
with her beau, as slim six-f footer passed.
eyes," replied the beau, who was rather
cocpulent, "if he was much finer we
should not be able to see him.
@-A ruffian shot at me last night"
said penurious gentleman, 'tand my life
was saved by the ball striking silver dol
lar in my pocket" "Whcever takes true
aim at your heat is very certain to hit
dollar" said one who knew him.
GS-A man down east has invented
machine to renovate old bachelors. Out
of a good, fat, greasy old bachelor, he can
make quite a decent young man, and have
enough left TO make two small puppies,
pair of leather breeches, and kettle of
soft soap.
ES-A western paper says that horse
and wagon were recently drowned in the
Ohio. Now, isn't that orful? What a
tale the tongue of that wagon could have
told, had it been rescued. And what
spokes the wheels would have uttered!-
Poor telloes, they are gone!
@I plows, sows, reaps, I mows,
I gets up wood for winter; digs, hoes,
and taters grows, and for what l knows,
I'm indebted 10 the printer. l do sup
pose all knowledge flows right from the
printing press. SO off goes III these ere
clothes and settles up-I guess.
EB-A cotemporary editor thinks, from
the way shirts are made in that city, that
there ought to be an 'inspector of sew
crs." The editor went to the expense of
shirt the other day, and found himself,
when he awoke in the morning, crawling
out between two Of the shortest stitches.
EE-"Bob, who was the first man?'
asked one urchin of another.
"Why, Adam, to be sure," was the
answer.
"Well. who was the first woman,
then?'
"Why, Adams mother, of course"
G%An Englishman, boastlng, said
"There are springs in our country where
the most sparkling soda-water can be had
already pre- pared" "That is nothing to
a lake out West" said one OF his hearers;
"there you can procure the most delicious
champagne, and the banks are made of
sponge cake
w We live near the shop of black
smith, upon whom certain son of Cri.pin
called, last winter, to get the steel cotks
of his horse's shoes sharpened. and being
in great haste, he inquired, Cant you
do it without taking bis shoes OFF," 81
don't know" replied Vulcan. "but if you
will hold his feet in my forge III try"
EH-An old topper in the last stages of
the dropsy was told by bis physician that
nothing would save him but being
tapped" His son, witty little shaver,
objected to this operation, saying, Daddy,
daddy, don't submit to it, for you know
there never was anything tapped in our
Eouse that l. 8 ed more than week"
ES The distinction between liking and
loving was well made by little girl six
years old. She was eating something
at breakfast, which she seemed to relish
very much.
'Do you love it?" asked her aunt.
"No," replied the child. with, a look of
DISGUST al like il. Ii / loved il would |
kiss it."
THE SUNNY SIDE-Dr. johnson used
to say that habit of looking at the best
side Of every event is far better than
thousand dollars year. Bishop Hall
quantity remarks: "For every bad it
might be worse, and when one breaks his
leY. let him be thankful it was not his |