The Kenosha telegraph and tribune. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1859-1860, 1859-11-17
WIT AND WISDOM.

VIII AND w ASDON1.
Those who attempt nothing themselves, think
everything easily performed.
WHY do hens have no hereafter? because
they have their neck t,cirled (next word) in this
To compliment vice is but one remove from
worshiping the devil.
THE man who loves his fellow men.-The King
Of the Cannibal Islands.
OUR friend 10 Cose defines Eighty woman
to be an absconding wife.
LIES pleasures, if not abused, will be new
every morning and fresh every evening.
THERE is no place like home'-except close
to the girl you love.
IF young lady is unable to support riding
habit, she should adopt walking habit
No poulice has ever been discovered to draw
out mans virtue as fully as the sod which COW
ers his grave.
AN exchange says the best safety valve to a
boiler is sober engineer.
do you like the game of drafts, madam"
"No; do not like any game where can't take
man without having first to jump over him.
THE sanderous words of a common liar, do
not amount to SANDER.
THE state of the Southern Market From
our reporter at Harpers Ferry. ]-Niggers has
riz.
HABIT is everything. It either makes or
unmakes man. If they are good, he goes
starwards if bad, mudwards.
AN old lady who sells eggs in Cincinnati
has over her door, "New laid egg every NOR
ming, by Betty Briggs"
CONVINCE a man of his error, and he will
thank you convince fool and he will insult
you.
THE man who ate his dinner with the fork of
a river, has been endeavoring to spin a noun
tain top.
Miss JOHNSON is under arrest at Detroit for
stealing $5 from her lover to pay the minister's
charge for marrying her to another.
In these days of folly and frivolity, ard ap-
pearance, there is no telling what the character
of any person is, for both sexes now wear false
bosoms.
A GENTLEMAN burying his wife, a friend ask
cd him why he expended so much on her fune-
raj. ''Ah, sir" replied he, :" she would have
done so much, and more, for me, with pleasure"
"Mr Wiggles. have you got matchl' "Yes,
sir, match for the old boy-Thar she is, mixin'
up dough"
Wiggles pointed to his wife, and then slid
from the front door,
"THERE is two ways Of doing it, said Pat to
himself, as he stood musing and waiting for a
job on the State street corner. "If save me
$4,000, must lay up $500 year for twenty
years, or l can put away $50 year for 200
years Now which way will do it7"
THERE is printer in Utica; N. Y, who has
Just finished walking six hundred miles before
breakfast. He commenced on the 18th of April
last, and has walked every morning, before
breakfast, from two to ten miles, the average
being four miles per day, twenty-f miles per
week, at the least calculation. He has gained
both flesh and strength since he began.
THE Cost OF QUEBEC.-It is said that when
the massive walls of the citadel at Quebec were
in process of erection, SO great was the draft on
the treasury of France that the Queen asked if
they were building it of gold This frowning
fortress stands 400 feet above the river, and has
been appropriately called the 'Gibralter of
America"
IT is reported that Wendell Philips, on re-
r
at Plymouth church, upon the Harper's Ferry
Invasion immediatelo paid over the whole sum
as Il contribution to John Brown, TO procure for
him such comforts as he may need in the few
remaining days of his life.
+ The ELEPHANT IN HIS HOME DIR. Living
stone, the celebrated African traveller, who is
at present exploring the river Zambezi, reports
the valley of the. Shire as Astounding with wild
elephants, having magnificent and most valua-
bic tusks. In one herd he saw over five hun
dred of theigiant game grazing on the plain
The Shire is good navigable river for over
one hundred miles from its confluence.
YOUNG man and woman were counting last
Saturday evening at the house of Mr.. Blackwell
in Slopewell Township, N. j., and both fell
asleep while sitting beside a warm stove. Du-
ring their nap the dress of the young lady took
ire, and when they awoke her clothes were all
IN flames. She was SO shockingly burned that
she lived but few hours. The young man
was also seriously injured by the fire, in his eff
orts to save his companion. The parties were
engaged to be married, and the young woman
had made her wedding purchases on the day of
the accident.
HOME AID WIFE ON SATURDAY NIGHT.-Happy
Is the man who has little home and little an
gel IN 1t, of a Saturday night. A house, no matter
how little, provided it will hold two or so-no mat
ter how humbly furnished, provided there is hope
in it +; let the winds blow-close the curtains.
What if they are calico, or plain white, without
border, tassel or any such thing Let the rains
come down, heap up the fire, No matter if you
haven't candle to bless yourself WITH for what a
beautiful light, glowing, coal makes, rendering
elouding, shedding sunset through the room just
enough to talk by-not loud asin the Highways
nor rapid as in the hurrying world, but softly, |
slowly, whispering with pauses between, for the
storm without and the thoughts within to fill up,
Then wheel the sofa round before the fire no
matter II the sofa is settee, uncushioned at that.
If SO be 1t is just long enough for two, say two
and half in it. How sweetly the music of silver
bells from the time to come, falls On the listening
eheart then How mournfully eWels the chimes of