Nashville patriot. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1858-1860, 1859-09-07
from Household Words.


Grammaticus, tor he wrote in Latin. and his
| book is folio. By writing in Latin man
! secures immortality at the expense of popu-
larity. What he gains in duration he loses
| in extension. Nor are folios opened with
avidity at the pr. sent day. People like to
read ia an easy position, possibly with legs
horizontally placed, and to hold light vol
| ume in their hands. A folio, resting against
reading-desk, defes every attempt at luxu-
| rious indolence. # u
Under these circumstances, it is probable
that many persons know exceedingly little of
the Evolutionary character of Hamlet, and
that when they hear him hint toshis friends
| that he Is about ito put an antick DISPOSE
ton" on, they fancy that the grave pleas
-antries of the tragedy were the sole conse-
quences OF his voluntary eccentricity. Hence,
at the risk of offending antiquaries by the
narration of Ito tbem) well-known tale, we
shall show to the general reader what fun
ny person Hamlet really was-tbat is TO say,
| If Saxo-Grammaticus be a faithful historian.
Once upon a time-and IA very long time
ago it was, for Ruric was the son of Holder
who killed Balder, son of the god of Odin-
| once upon time, when Ruric reigned over
Denmark, the province OF Jutland was gov
erned by two brothers, in the capacity of
| joint yice-roys. One OF these, named Hor-
wendil, slew the King of Norway in single
| combat, and presented so large share of
| Norwegian booty to Ruric, that the grateful
| monarch bestowed upon him the hand of his
| daughter Gerutha. on this marriage Hamlet
was the result.
Fengo, the other viceroy. instead of re-
joicing at his brothers good fortune, muir
| dered him out Of sheer envy, and married
Gerutha himself. To account for this singu-
lar proceeding, he explained to King Ruric,
| that the deceased was in the habit of NAL
| treating his wife to such a degree that his
murder was absolutely necessary, in order to
relieve most charming and inotfensive lady
from an exceedingly disagreeable position.
| King Ruric, who tenderly loved his daugh
| ter, found this explanation perfectly sat
| siactory, and confirmed the second mar
| rage.
Thus, for time, the matter blew over; but,
| in the meanwhile the boy Hamlet, thinking
| that he might be murdered in his turn, be
| gan TO feign idiocy, that he might thus APP
| pear too insignificant for his uncle's suspi-
cions. He jabbered a great deal of nom
| sense; he contrived that his ngure should
| approach as nearly possible To that of
| scarecrow, and he smutted over his face, so
that his features were scarcely disccrnible.
| However, when he made certain wooden
| hooks, and having baked them in the fire,
concealed them carefully, saying that they
| were arrows for his fathers murderer, the
more shrcwd persons OF the court, notwith-
standing the laughter OF the fools, deemed
| there was some method in bis madness"
! and communicated their doubts to the vice
roy.
Fengo, therefore, determined to watch his
nephew closely, and, on one occasion when
Hamlet took Il ride into the woods with some
youths of his own age, it was expected that
his true character would be revealed. But
his foster-brother warned him that he was
surrounded by spies, and accordingly, to sus-
tain his character for imbecility, he mounted
4 Aan1 IL Al,<s =.
which he used as bridle--thereby causing
much laughter and diversion.
Had Hamlet lived at the end of the seven
teenth century instead of flo arshing at the
commencement of the year nothing, we should
have concluded that he framed his sham
character on the model of Charles the Second
as described by that famous epigram, which
says that the Merry Monarch
s'never said a foolish thing,
And never did wise one"
Since, while by the excessive. stupidity of his
acts he maintained his reputation for insan-
ity, he constantly shook the very belief he
wished to establish by sayings of remarkable
shrewdness. Thus, on the occasion of the
notable ride into the wood, wolf happened
TO cross his path
What's that?" said Hamlet.
"A young foal," replied one of the attend
ants winking, no doubt, at the resi-.
Aha quoth Hamlet, there are many
such foals at Fengo's court"
Ere the sting accustomed by this SARCASM
had quite ceased to Jingle, the party arrived
at the sea-shore, where the rudder of wreck
ed ship was the first object that met their
gaze. The graeeless youths, intending once
more to poke their fun " at the demented
prince. exclaimed:
Look, what big knife we have foundr'
But Hamlet reflected for a while, and then
said, gravely: "Of IA truth the ham must
have been large, that such a knife was iuten-
ded TO cut" thereby referring to the sea- and
possibly the satin, S. thereof But, not quieted
by this sharp retort, his facttious comrades
proceeded to explain to him that the sand on
The shore was flour, and that the pebbles were
greats But Hamlet said: /" Such -four a.
that has been ground by the storm and the
WITHDRAWING pillows"
These jokes may not appear very brilliant
now, but they made great sentiment in The
year nothing, and the court of King Ruric
was often convulsed with laughter on hearing
of .Hamlet's last" Indeed there Is no doubt
that Hamlet and Yorick were historically
one and the same person.
However, delightful as the mad princes
Jokes were considered by other persons, they
were not liked by his uncle, Fengo, who
always suspected that some mischief was
brooding, and was determined to worm out
his nephew's real character. He, therefore.
by the counsel OF a friend, feigned to leave
the country on some urgent matter, that
during his supposed absence, Hamlet might
hive an interview with his mother. at which
the same friend engaged 10 be present, un-
seen. The interview took place, and Fengo's
friend according to promise, hid himself
under a heap OF straw, that constituted an
import ant part OF the furniture OF the royal
apartment With his usual shrewdness Ham
let guessed there was something wrong in
tile room, and To ascertain whether his sus-
picions were correct, danced upon the straw,
chipping his hands and growing like cock,
to the great establishment of his mother and
to the infinite annoyance OF the listening
friend, who had TO endure all the weight OF
the princes ecccntricities. Naturally enough
something began TO move beneath the straw,
aud that somelhing-which the reader may,
If he pleases call Polonus-was immediate
ly transfxed by the sword OF Hamlet Queen
Gerutha, shocked at this new manifestation
OF madness, began to weep aloud, but Ham
let. dropping the mask, read her severe
lecture on the improperly OF her position.
His words seemed to have an effect as, indeed
well they might, for they were marked by
ruffianly coarseness which could not be ex-
ceeded, and Of which Shakespeare does not
convey the slightest idea. In the fullest
sense of the expression, Hamlet gave his
mother bit of his mind" aud very un-
savoury bit of very gross mind it was.
Fengo, on his return, missed his friend, for
Hamltt had not only killed that most unior-
tunate of courtiers, but had boiled down his
limbs and thrown them into the sewer to be
devoured by the pigs. This deed the prince
openly avowed, but those who heard him
merely thought that he was uttering one OF
his mad pleasantries, and laughed as unusual.
Indeed, at the court of JuIland everybody
seems to have been an arrant bloekhead,
with the single exception OF Fengo himself.
That worthy yiceroy would have killed his
nephew without further ado, had he not
feared to offend King Ruric, who as we have
seen, was tue lads maternal grandfather. To
get rid OF Hamlet 10y stratagen was necessary,
\ nd accordingly the good Youth wus sent on