The Washington union. [volume] (City of Washington [D.C.]) 1857-1859, 1859-02-20


HOW 10 ROAST PIG WITHOUT BURNING DOWN
,ast YOUR HOUSE.
sGharles Lamb, quoting from an ancient Chinese
manuscript tells that roast pig was first tasted by
mankind alters fire which sucking litter bad been
burnt, and that the people among whom this happy
accident occurred, having thence got strong taste
Of roast pork aud being strictly obseryant Of prece
dent, set house on fire whenever they wanted to
roast pig. For ages this custom was continued,
but at last the expense and terror of the conaagra
tons became SO grevous, that one Of those great
spirits which are born of the emergencies Of nations
rose up and suggested that pig might be roasted,
without setting a house fire AT first there was
prodigious murmur at the innovation, and it said
that the necessity Of setting house fire for dish
Of pork was salutary check to any excess ofpg
but the great bulk of the people, who could not at
ford to burn down their houses month, and
who suffered from the alarm and tumut of frequent
CONGREGATIONS, supported the reform proposed by
the sage, and pigs thenceorth roasted by fires
brought within the limits Of CRATES, and under con-
troll I'VE are quoting from Fonblanque,l
Now il seems to us that we might have our roast
pig, our economy in the public expenditures, with
out setting the house ON fire, without destroying
our army and navy, as Mr.. Stanton and Mr.. Toombs,
the Hot and Bo-Bo of the Chinese pig story
sagely suggest. a confagration for every NOR
ael Of economy with which Congress proposes
to treat the nation, appears to us most bar
barous and expensive method Of accomplishing the
object There are some people, however, who really
seem to prefer the most uneertan circutous costly,
and troublesome modes of attaining public objects.
Measures of reform short of utter destruction would
seem to them as tame sport in craftsmanship shoot
ing sitting game is to sportsmen, or as the irksome
and invidious Office Of posse is to gallant
army. There are statesmen who are ever running a
muck with some great institution Of the land, and
who would not be able to keep their names at all
conspicuous before the public if they did not, all
outofthe-way occasions, dash into the public de-
bates and charge down upon such innocent, useful,
Woodworking windmills, as they may fancy to
hate az MONSTERS with the valor of Don Quixotte, if
not with his i'll luck They could not exist day
without some hobby of the sort to keep them in
constant alarm and resemble that son of Erin, of
whom the song goes
There lived young man Of BaiyBacrazy
Who wanted q wife TO make him unasy
With some statesmen of this calibre it is
the army, with some the navy that is the un-
conirollable, domineering vixen, which makes
them unasy = aud the only remedy which the
profundty of their wis Iom suggests to them as
the means of establishing proper economy in these
branches of the services the sage one discovered
accidentally by Heti and Bo-bothat of burning the
house down in order to get bait of roast pig.
The hero of this roastpig economy in the House OF
Representatives samember of the Committee on Milf
tary Affairs, Mr. Stanton, gentleman who ranks as
leader of great sectional party, and whose milf
ary and political genius is equal to the invention OF
no better expedient for procuring sauary resrench
ment than burning down the house. 1t is plain,
from this fact that either the army is very useless
| institution Of the land, or else that Mr. Stan
| ton is very incompetent member of the Military
/ Committee Compelled to choose between the two
alternatives, we are driven to adopt the opinion
of Washington in favor of an army, and TO resign
Mr. Stanton to hisincompetency of qualification IN The
| premises. "a b sa
| We have little skeleton army about one man &c
every two miles of frontiera force nearly sufficient
| toperiorm signal-service ON railways This little
| army is almost constantly employed in held-work
| 1t has just closed campaign in Washington Terri
/ tory against the Indians who had determined to
dispute not only our possession of that country but
our political supremacy it. IL was despatched
last year to Utah to aid the civil authorities to en-
force the laws. A few years ago got into q
| quarrel with Mexico when it was fed upon re-
| crus and sent out to the Rio Grande and to Vera
Cruz and from the latter point, after siege and
| victory, marched towards the capital of the
Mexican republic. II was opposed by superior
numbers aud veteran troops, commanded by the
General President Santa Anna in person. but it was
| everywhere triumphant, to The entire snbju
CATION of the country and to the possession of its
| capital The war with Mexico was public affair
and commanded, of course, tho attention of the
| world. That attention was directed to the Ameri
can Army, which became an object Of extreme and
| almost romantic interest. IL had undertaken haz
ardous service. None but bold able, and chivarou,
men would have engaged in such work; anc
none but towards aud vampires, sycophants and
demagogues, would lend themselves TO the as
saiants and maIigners of that heroic army Blu
It's service in Mexico, however great, was nothing
when compared with It's ceaseess and severe every
day duties on the line of our own frontiers. Their
/ J 4. Al. ..n.x. H..