Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1859-07-14
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A STUMP SPEECH.

The following specimen of quaint hurnor
we End in one Of our exchanges, under the
head of aCalifornia correspondence" 1t
purports to have been. delivered BY stump
candidate at San Francisco: = -, - =
rsFszbo- Rpubticans and. El10so Suffer
ers:s I Iam Q. plain and modest man, born at
an early period Of my existence, which great
event occurred at home one night when my
mother was out. I have struggled from the
obscurity, to which an unlucky star had
doomed me, till have risen like a bright
exhalation in the evening to the summit OF
human greatness and grandeur Gentlemen,
2 profess no principles unfortunately L
have none. On the unhappy occasion efmy
birth, dismal and melancholy man, clothed
in the sombre hues of morning, snapped me
for another baby, and subsequently lost me
at arafae. Sad event! But who can con-
troll his fate? We are the creatures Of des-
tiny-sthere is a divinity that shapes our
ends, rough hew them how we will -
Il was intended by nature for a great
statesman. Had I lived in the days Of Han
nibal, ] should have beaten that great chief
tian in crossing the Alps; and it is dead
certain thing, that could have distanced
.Corses in crossing the Isthmus. He never
performed the feats have did; he never
came up the Chagres river in a canoe, with
deaf and dumb shombre, without a red
cent, or change of summer apparel. tBut a
light heart and thin pair of breeches goes
.merrily through the world =, x
Sir, every man who has come hereis Co.
4umbus! He comes here to. discover new
.diegeins. Lam a Columbus. / was dead
broke at home as Columbus was aud | have
come here to strike new vein. But I am
not going to the mines Oh,, no. Sea Yon
don't catch me up to my waist'in ice.water
with a juvenile pick-axe and an incipient
crowbar, laboring under sun Of one han
degrees in the shade, to dig out filthy luere.
No, sir am not on that lay. I hate labor
lit was an invention to vex mankind. l
prefer. an, Office, one that is lucrative and
not laborious; what you call a sinecure.
And if I cannot get. one myself, will g. in
fer any man who will divide on the dead
level, and no splits.* * 'Sir, where
will you fud,a country like this? Talk not
Of the oriental gorgeousnsss of eastern coun-
tries. Tell US not of the fairy scenes which
poets, who revel in the great warm bath of
Heavenly imaginations, paint, with golden
pens, on leaves of satin.
The description of this beautiful country
should be written with the golden wand of
an angel dipped in the softest rays Of sun
beam, upon the blushiug and delicate sur
face of a rose leaf. Excuse me, gentleman,
i except only the rainy season and the time
when thedust flies.
We love our native land-we honor Der
Aag, aud would rob the custom house if we
had fair show. But Congress must not
put on airs, or we will take charge of the
custom house and post-ofice, and make a
muss generally. These are my sentiments,
gentlemen. If you don't admit US into the
Union we will burst open the custom house
and admit all liquors free. And, now With
'aparting blessing upon the girls we left be-
hind US, We will adjourn and take a private
drink