Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1859-05-19
From the Cleveland Plaindesler.
Artemas Ward Sees Picc oil Omini.

From the Cleveland PIalndesief
Artemas Ward Sees Piceolomini.
Gentz-I arroved in Cleveland on Sat
urday P. NJ. from Baldinsville jest in time
to fix myself up and put on clean billed
rag to attend Miss Picklehomony's CRATE
musical sorry At the Melodeon. The
krowds which pored into the hall augured
well for the show bisues 4 with cheerful
sperrets jined the enthusiastic throng.
asked Mr.. Strakhosh at the door if be parst
the perfession, and he sed not much he
didn't, whereupon bawt preserved seat
in the pit, and obsarving to Mr.. Strakhosh
that he needn't put on SO many French
airs becawz he run with big show, and
that he'd better let his weskut out few
inches or perhaps he'd bust hisself some
fine day went in and squatted down. 1t
was sad thawt to think that in all that
varst aujience Scarcely Sole had the hon.
or of my acquaintance. "a this ere" sed
btturly, lis Fame! What sigerfy my
wax fggers and Twin wild beasts (which
have no ekals) to these peple? What do
they care becawz site Of my Kangaroo
is worth bubble the price Of admission, and
that my Snakes is as harmis as the new
born babe--all of which is strckly troo-?
shood have gone on ralein at Forth and
things sum more but jest then Signer Mac
carony cum out aud sung hairey from
sum opry or other. He had on his store
| close 4 looked putty slick. l must say
Nobody didn't understand no.hin allow.
what he said and so they applauded him
versferously. Then Signer Brignoiy cum
out and sung another hairey. He ap-
peared to be in Pensiv Mood & sung
Luv song spose, though he may have bin
cussin the aujience all into heep for aut
knowd Then cum Mr.. Maccarony agin
Miss Picklehomony herself. They sang
Dot together.
Now w know. CENT?, tn at doant adj
mire opry music. But like Miss Pickle
homonys stile. | like her gate. She
suits me. There has bin crater singers
and there has been more boetiful wimin,
but no more fassinatin young female ev-
err longed for new gownd, or side to place
her head agin vest pattern than Maria
fieklehomony. Fassina.in peple is her
best holt. She was born to make hash of
mems buzzums aud other wimin mad be,
cawz they amt Pickehomonies. Her
face sparkles with amuzin cussedness and
about 200 two hundred) little bits of fun.
ny devils air continually dancin champs
on ligs in her eyes, said eyes being brite
enut to lite pipe by. How should like
to have little Maria out on my farm in
BaldinssiIle lnjiany, WHARF she Good run
IN the tall grass, wrastle with the boys,
cut up strong at parin bees. make up IA
ces behind the minister's back, tie auc
ton bills to the schoolmasters coat tales.
set ali the fellers crazy after her & boiler,
x kick up, 4 90 it jest as much as she
wanted to 4! But degrees. Every time
she come canterin out grew more and
more deIited with her. When she boughed
her head | boughed mine. When she
poutid her lips | poutid mine. When she
Iarted | laried. When she jerked her head
back and took larfn survey of the aui.
ence. sendin a broadside Of sassy smiles in
among EN-, tried to unjint myself & kol.
lapse. When in tellin how she drempt she
lived in Marble Halls, she said it tickled
her more than all the rest to dream she
loved her Teller still the same, made an
effort to swallow myself; but when, in the
next song, she looked strate at me and
called me her dear, wildly told the man
next to me that he mite hav my close, as
! shood never want EN- agin no more in
this world.
The Plain Dealer containin this com.
municashun is not to be sent to my fam
erly in Baldinsville under no circumstau.
ces whatsomever.
In conclushun, Maria, l want you to do
well. l know yu air nice gal at hart &
yu must e: good husband. lie must
be man Of branes and gumpshun 4 a
good provider-a man who will luv w
strong and long-a man who will luv w
jest as much in your old age, when your
voice is cracked like an old tea kittle 4
w can't git Of your notes discounted at
30 pur sent q month. rs he will now, when
yn are young 4 charmin 4 full of music,
sunshine 4 fun. Don't marry snob, Ma.
ria. w amt Angel, Maria, 4 I'm glad
Of it. When ! see angels in pettycoats
I'm always sorry they han't got wings so
they kin hy Of where they will be appre-
sbiated. fu air woman, 4 nifty good
one too. As for Maccarony Brgnoly,
Mullenholer and them other fellers, they
can take care of themselves. Old Mac.
kin make q comfortable Twin chopin cord
wood if his voice ever gives out, Amo-
do looks as tho he mite succeed in
conductin sum quiet toll gate, WHARF the
vittles would be plenty 4 the labor lite.
am preparin for the Summer Cam
pane. ! shall stay in Cleveland a few
days 4 probly you will hear from me agin
ear leave TO once more BEGUN tosser
on life's tempestuous billers, meaning the
Show Bisnes.
Very Respectively Yours,