Worcester daily spy. [volume] (Worcester [Mass.]) 1850-1888, 1859-05-02
0QlOrtestrr Daily Spg.
From the Cleveland Plaindealer
ARTEMAS WARD SEES PICCOLOMINI.


Gente-I arroved in Cleveland on Satur-
day 2. NJ. from Baldinsville jest in time to fix
myself up and put on clean billed rag to at
tend Miss Picklehomeny's CRATE musical sorry
at the Melodeon, The krowds which pored
into the hall augured well for the show bisnis
& with cheerful sperrets jined the enthosias-
tic throng. | asked Mr.. Strakhosh at the door
If he parst the periession, and he sed not much
he didn't, whereup0n ! bawt Il preserved seat
III the PIT, and obsarying to Mr.. StrakhOsh that
he needn't put on so many French airs becawz
he run with big show, and that he'd better
let his weskut out few inches or prehaps
he'd bust hissef some fine day, | went in and
squatted down. 1t was a sad thawt to think
that in all that varst aujience Scarcely Sole
had the honor of my acquaintance '"& this
ere, sed Ibitturly, "is Fame What signerfy
my wax figgers and Twin wild beasts (Which
hay no ekalsl to these peple! What do they
care becawz site OF my Kangaroo is worth
bubble the price of admission, and that my
Snakes Is as harmlis as the new born babe-all
of which is strickly troo-!" | shood hay
gone on ralein at Forth and things sum more
but jest then Signer Maccarany cum out and
sung hairey from sum opry or other He
had on his store close & looked putty slick,
must say. Nobody didn't understand nothin
abowt what he sed and so they applawded him
versiferusly. Then Signer Brignoly cum out
sung another hairey. He appeared to be in
Pensly Mood sung Luv song | spose,
tho he may have bin cussin the aujence all into
a heep for aut knowd. Then cum Mr. Mac
carony agin & Miss Picklehomony himself
Thay sung a Dot together.
Now yu know, CENT?, that | don't admire
opry music. But | like Miss Picklehomony's
stile. like her gate. She suits me. There
has bin crater singers and there has bin more
bootitul wimin, but no more fassnatin young
female ever longed for new gown or side to
place her he'd agin vest pattern than Maria
Picklehomony. Fassinatin people is her best
holt. She was born to make hash of mems
buzzums & other wimin mad becawz they amt
Picklehomonies. Her face sparkles with
amuzin cussedness and about 200 two hun
dred) little bit or funny devils air continually
dancin champion jigs in her eyes, said eyes
being brite enuf' to lite pipe by. How |
shood like to hav little Maria out on my farm
in Baldinsville, lnjiany, where she Good run
LII the tall grass, wrastle with the boys cut up
strong at parin bees, make up faces behind the
minister's back, tie auction bills to the skool-
masters coat-tales, set all the fellers crazy af-
ter her holler, & kick up & go it jest as
much as she wanted to- But diegres. Eve
ry time she cum cantering out | grew more
and more delited with her. When she bowed
her he'd L bowed mine. When she powtid
her lips | powtid mine. When she larfed |
larted. When she jerked her head back and
took a lartin survey of the audience sendin a
broadside of sassy smiles in among en- tried
to unjint myself & kollapse. When, in tein
how she drempt she lived in Marble Halls, she
sed it tickled her more than all the rest to
dream she loved her Teller still the same, |
made a effort to swallow myself; but when, in
the next song, she looked strate at me, and
called me her Dear, wildly told the man next
to me that he mite hav my close, as l shood
never want EN- agin no more in this world.
lIhe Plain Dealer containin this communica-
shun is not to be sent to my famerly in Bald
msvlle under no circumstances whatsomever.
In conclushun Maria, | want you to do well.
| know you air nice gal at hart & yu must
get good husband. He must be a man of
branes and gumpshun a good provider-a
man who will luv yu strong and Tonga man
who will luv yu jest as much in your old age
when your voice is cracked like an old tea
kittle yu can't get ! Of your notes discount
ed at % per sent month, as he will now,
when you are young & charmn & full of mu-
sic, sunshine fun. Don't marry snob
Maria. Yu amt Angel, Maria, & I'm glad
of it. When | see angels in pettycoats Pm
always sorry they hain't got wings so thay kin
quietly fly off where thay will be appreshat-
ed. Yu air woman, & mighty good one
too. As for Maccarony, Brignoly, Mullenhol-
Ter and them other fellers, they can take care
of themselves. Old Mac. kin make COM
Portable Twin chopin cord word if his voice
ever gvs out & Amodio looks as tho he mite
succeed in conductin some quiet toll gate,
WHARF the vittles would be plenty & the labor
lite.
am preparin for the Summer Campane,
l shall stay in Cleveland few days & probly
you will hear from me agin ear leave to
once more becum tosser on life's tempestu
Gus billers, meaning the Show Bisnes.
Very Respectively Yours,
ARTEMUs WARD.