Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1859-02-09
GATHERINGS.

J
rs sorrowful as sick lap-dog!
go, don't perplex me, that's q dear my grief
is too great for utterance. I've had such m
awful vision actually dreamed that Rosa
Smith had got new silk dress"
IL. THE editor ;of the New Orleans Plea
yune, in describing the launch Of a grand steam
boat, says
! "She dipped into the waves as gracefully as
the Widow Green could make courtsey."
Eas manager, not particularly eruditc,
refused an original play, recently, on the ground
that the language was "too much like Shaks-
peare."
e" I" THAT motion is out Of order" rs the
chairman of political meeting said when lie
saw ruffian raise hisarm to throw Il rotten cgg
e IT is proposed to pay the members ol
the British Parliament S., 600 eaci, per annrm,
and no mileage.
E@ FELLOW who chopped of his hand,
ths other day, while cutting wood, sent to an
apolhccary for remedy for chopped hands"
"AH! is it possible that you are still
alive 2" said a fellow, ON meeting Unexpectedly
one whom he had EossE injuled.s Yes, and
kississss = sssalie4 as6sher, snss.he actiohto
Ilhe;xofd: s ieh,S .
W. BIAck; AND F'HfifrE-We find in an
exchange paper the statement that seyenty-two
white females were married to black men in
Massachusetts last year, IF this he 81, it is
carrying out the abolition doctrine to practical
results.
- QUlck.-Thc "boys" having in charge
a fire stealn-eneine in Louisville Ky. the other
day, on wager, harncSsed and hitched up the
horses to the engine and hose carriage in min
ute and is seconds.
e. A Japanese nobleman, upon being
shown fashion plate in an American magazine,
was much startled and exclaimed: How very
fat your women are"
e ONE OF TIE INSERTS OF HUMAN LIEE.
Being beaten in argument and afterwards
thinking Of some happy retort or very appro-
pirate joke, which would have smashed your ad-
rersary to smithereens.
IL Dean Swift, hearing of carpenter
falling through the scaffolding Of a house which
he was engaged in repairing, dryly remarked
that he liked to see a machanic 60 through his
work promptly.
EE THE monument to Ethan Allen, at
Burlington, VT, is completed. 1t is forty feet
nigh.
e pedestrian travelling in Ireland, met
man and asked him rahS gr,liiiy, why the
miles were so plagued long, %hen the llibernian
replied: " You see yer honor, the roads are not
in good condition, SO We give Wy good measure"
5@ FAMILY all gatherIl around cosy
fire. Afectionate little dir:aaaer with ear ache,
Ii deep reysriy Hnot5. ) she, "luy ears
have gone to where 7 lave never been o'
"Where tn. my child ?n asked the fond mother.
"Tu nching' Aken} was her reply. Mother
looks with profound astoniSllmen, AT her pre-.
cocious daughter.
GN RonERr Hall did not lose his power
or retort even in madness. Ahypocritica con-
doler with bis miSfortunes once visited him in
the mad-ho,lse, and said, in whining tone,
What brought you here, Mr.. llall?' Hall
significantly touched his brow with his finger,
and replied, "What'll never bring you, sir-too
much brain.".
- TIE Western New York papers record
the marriage at PIattsville, on the 10th inst, at
Up. NJ. Of John BiYens and Miss NJ. a. Turk,
and in the sumo issue announce the death OF
the bride at . o'clock on the same evening, ot
he,norrhage Of the lungs.
Ed. The Senate of New Yoi'i has passed a
bill prohibiting the admission oil boys in tue
New York Theatres when unaccumpanied.
- NEARLY all the suicides in this country
are by foreigners. Yankees rarely, fever, make
away with themselves for nearly every one
thinks he has chance Of becoming President,
and at any rate, his curiosity prompts him to
live on, Just to see what he will come to.
20 Docs of every kind, settlers, pointers
bulls, Newfoundlands, mastitEs, and terriers, are
all Mp dogs-when they are drinking
-. cspsas q, ;1|lp,,esala 4 iaa OF lialn'
| has IIst been cGmpleted, from which it appears
that the total Of the inhabitants is about one
hundred and eighty thousand three hundred
and iifty-seyen-a figure at about which the
city has remained for the last two hundred and
fifty years.
E@ A QUAKER lately popped the question
to a fair Quakeress thus: Hum-yea, and
verify, Penelope, the spirit ulgeth and moVeth
ME wonderfully, to beseech thee to cleave unto
me, flesh of my flesh, and bone OF my bone g
Hum-truly, truly, Obediah, thou hast wisely
said, and inasmuch as it is not good to be alone,
r will sojourn with thee"
e. Capt John Travis, the great pistol shot
has gone to Huntsville, Ala, to display his skill
in the use of that weapon. He proposes, at the
place named, among other exploits, to shoot ut
half dollar in tue hands Of q boy who travels
with him.
EsI. Orn "IMrn EXPRESSES great llneaSinns'
OH uccvllnt uf tho author af the following l'lr'
ulI suggests that our Nlsr1lall be instructed tt
keep un eye Oh him.
"A destructive durs III bi.
Ill hid pharewe!l to every phear,
Then wipo my weeping l.
And kut my throtc pftrom enr to car"
ES"Ts this your brother, Pat? ;"
"Yls, sur"
sIs lie not older than you?"
"No, indade, sur, he's not" :
"Well then, he is younger?"
"No,. sur, he's not. .p-~-
"Why, man, he Must Be either one or thu
otherw
"Faix, then, he's nayther" Z
ooh! then you are twins 2"
"Tndade, now, and how did you know il :?
TIE pRrSKaRD's RESOLUTION.
, "Too much drinking has caused me pain,
I'll never look ut glass again.
lie kept his word and never lied,
{ And yet by drinking wine be died.
How could he do it," Only think;
Why, be shut his eyes when no took & drinl
RJr"IIow is it," said man to his neighbo
ct that parson W, the LATEST man livin.
Writes these interminable long sermons %
"Why," said the other, "he probably gets
writing and is too lazy to stop"
Eg SorIGsBY was once asked by q youn
\ aspirant for literary fame, what he should ct
. to make him think. The joker recommended