Raftsman's journal. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1854-1948, 1859-07-27
THE SCANDAL MoNGER.

every birth, death and marriage, With theii
dates-doctored all the babies, and Knew every
uarb in the Observation-Disclosures all the
young married women how to make soap, and
when they had bad luck, made every child In
the house set cross-ieggcd until the luck
changed. In fine, she was KIND oil vliiaSe
factotum-spent her time in going from house
to house, grinding out grist of SANDER to
each, as occasion required. but always concu-
ded with ssthe way of transgressors is hard ];
| sspoor Mrs. A. or B. Gas the case was,) pity
her from the bottom OF my heart, or some
such very soothing reflection. Aunt Lizzie
was always very fond of asking strangers ana
Others without regard to time or place, s'the
state OF their minds how they enjoyed their
minds,'' &c. These questions were generally
followed by string of scandal, which was
calculated to destroy the peace and happiness
OF some other best neighbors and friends put
she, like other narrators of this kind, consid-
cred intellectual murder as either establish
ing her own fair reputation, or as the only
mode of entertaining the village, or thereby
rendering her society agreeable.
One warm summers afternoon as Squire L.
was sitting near his Office door, smoking his
pipe, Aunt Lizzie was passing 10y with great
speed ruminating on the news OF the day
when the Squire brought her suddenly to, as
the sailors say, by sswhat's your hurry, aunt
Lizzie? walk in.'' The old lady, who never
wanted a second invitation, went into the Of
flee, and the following conversation soon COM
menced.
.sWell, Squire P, have been thinking this
forenoon what useful man you might be, If
you'd only leave off your light conversations,
as the good book says, and become serious
man-you might be an ornament TO both church
and state, as our Minister says
| ssWhy, as to that, Aunt Lizzie, cheerful
| countenance | consider as the best index OF a
| grateful heart, and you know what the Bible
| says on that subject-sWhen ye fast, be not
| as the hypocrites Of a sad countenance, but an
| noint thy head and ioaSh thy face (aunt Llzzle
| began to feel for her pocket handkerchief, for
| she taker of Snuff,) that thou appear not
unto men to fast.''
| ssNow there Squire-that's just what told
vou-see how you have the scripter at your
tongues end what a useful man you might
| be in church, if you'd only be doer as
| well as hearer of the word"
| GAS to that, Aunt Lizzie, don't see that
your ssprofessors" as you call them, are whit
| better than am, in prirate. | respect sim
| cere profession much as any man but L
know enough of one of your church whom
you think great deal of, TO know that she is
no better than she should be !''
At these innuendoes, Aunt LiZzie's little
| black eye began to twinkle; she sat down be-
| side the squire, in order to speak in a lower
| tone-spread her handkerchief over her lap,
| and began to tap the cover OF Eer snuff box
in true style, and all things being in readiness
| for regular siege of ssscandalum magnatum,
| she commenced fire
| ssNow, Squire, want to know what you
mean by one of our church ? | know who
| you mean-the trollop-I didn't like so many
| curls about her head when she told her expert
| ence."
The Squire finding curiosity was putting
his boots on, had no occasion to add spurs TO
the heels. for the old lady had one in her head
that was worth both of them. Accordingly
he had no peace until he consented to explain
what he meant by the expression s'in prirGfe'
this was a dear word with Aunt Lizzie.
ssNow, Aunt Lizzie. will you take a Bible
oath, that you will never communicate what
am about to tell you to living being, and
that you will keep it while you live as most
inviolable secret 20
eyes Squire, declare 1 won't never tell
nobody nothing about it as long as | breathe
the breath of life and I'll take Bible oath
on it there, sartin as live, Squire, before
you or any other magistrate in the whole
/ country.''
swell, then, you know when went up to
Boston year ago."
eyes, yes, Squire, and I know who went
with you too-Susey B. and Dolly T., and her
sister Prudence.
ssNever mind who went with me, Aunt Liz
zie; there was whole lot of passengers
But. butt
ssNone of your butts, Squire-out with it
if folks will act so-a trollop''-
ssBut, Aunt Lizzie, I'm afraid you'll bring
| me into Scrapc-''
sI've told you over and over again, that
nobody never shall know nothing about it, and
your wife knows amt leaky-''
| ssMy wife! l wouldn't have her know what
I was going to say for the world-why. Aunt
Lizzie, if she should know it"
| ssWeil don't be afear'd Squire, once for all,
I'll take my oath that no living crittur shan't
never as long as live, know lisp ont"
ssWell, then-if you must know it Il slept
with one of the likelicst of your church mcm-
bers nearly half the way up !! !'
Aunt Lizzie drew in long breath-shut up
her snuff box. and put it in her pocket, NUT
tering to herself
"The likeliest of our church members
thought it was Susey B.-likeliest this
comes of being flattered-a trollop. Well,
one thing know-sthe way OF transgreSsors is
hard > but hope you'll never tell nobody
ont, Squire, for sartain as the world, if sich
thing sould be known, our church would be
scattered abroad, like sheep without shep-
| herd.'s
Il In few moments Aunt Lizzie took her de-
parture, the Squire gave another caution and
a sly wink, as she said ssgood-bye-iet me
alone for a secret.o
1t was not many days before Squire I. re-
ceiyed a very polite note from Parson G., re-
uuestlng him to attend meeting of the church,
and many of the parish, at the south Confer
ence room, in order to settle some difficulties
with one of the church members, who in or
der to clear up her character, requested Squire
P to be present.
The Parson, who very worthy man,
knew the frailty of some of the weak sisters,
as Aunt Lizzie called them, and as he was a
particular friend of Squire P.'s requested him