davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
American Lancaster gazette. [volume] (Lancaster, Ohio) 1855-1860, 1859-03-24
Lodgings for Boots,
A Georgia exchange tells the following
boots stcry!

AOuBiusS IOI DOOtAs
A Georgia exchange tells the following
boots stcry.
A short time ago ohe Of otr citizens.
who loves bis Joke about as well as folks
do, had occasion 10 visit one Of tho small
towns in the interior OF the State, and
knowing he would have considerable walk
ing over muddy roads. he tcok with him
pair Of long rtibber boots. lie arrived
at his destination about o'clock 10 the
evening, and, upon inquiry, be found the
only tavern in the place was half mile
from the station. No conveyance was 10
be bad, and the road was muddy in the
extreme. CongTatuIating himself on hav-
ing his long boots. he set of and found the
mud in some spots so deep his boots were
barely long enough. He reached the bO.
tel at last looking rather soiled abott the
feet. After supper, he inquired price fOt
lodgings.
I'VE usually charge. answered the land
lord who also had soma fua in his compo-
sition, twenty five cents; but il = man
goes to bed with such boots as them on,
pointing to his costouer's feet, I'VE
charge fifty cents
"A very good idea, l should think, re-
turned the traveller.
After half an hours conversation the
landlord showed him TO his room, and they
parted for the night mutually pleased with
each other. The next morning our friend
arose late, and inquired for the landlord.
learned that he had gone from hom, to at
tend to some business. After breakfast.
he handed dollar 10 the landlords wife,
saying:
There is fifty cents fOt my supper and
and breakfast, aud itLy cents for my lodg
ing
| Twenty five cents is all We chatgs fol
lodg ing said the landlady.
Yes retursd the traveller, tinder ofdina
~ circumstances, but 10 this case fifty
csnts is not too much
| The stranger departed, and the LADY
was deep in conjecture as to what could bt
the circumstances which required mar
to pay double price for lodgings, when
her husband returned.
HAS that man who slept in the fTou
chamber come down? he asked.
1 Yes answered bis wife, and he la
gone away. He paid fifty cents for hi
lodgings. and said under the circums.a an
ces it was right
The deal be did?' exclaimed the land
lord rushing up stairs. His wife folloWe,
to learn the meaning Of such strange pro
ceedings, and found her husband with tn
bed clothes turned down, and her best be-
looking more fit to plant potatoes than
did for any human being to sleep in.
You saw that man when he came her
j last night? said her husband.
, Yes r.r-
You saw his boots, didn't you?'
! Yes
well said The landlord the Internal cal
; slept in 'em.'
A few days the traveller. on his retur
home. put up at the same stand. Neithe
himself nor the landlord said anything 9
bout the boots, which were in about th
same condition as on the previous ocoasioI
but the lsndlady looked daggers at hin
and eyed bis boots with much anxiety :
About ten O'Clock be said he would reli
And. by the way landlord said
8 with merry twinkle in his eye what {
: you usually charge for lodging?
I'VE charge, 'answeredth the landlord, wi
? tremendous emphasis, twent Eve cenlsP
American Lancaster gazette. [volume] (Lancaster, Ohio) 1855-1860, 1859-03-24
The Lsred and Lostl

Time hath no power to bear away,
Thine image from my heart:
No scenes that mark life's onward way
Can bid II hence depart.
Yet, while our souls WITH anguish rlven,
Mourn, loved and lost for thee,
We raise our fearful eyes 10 Heaven,
And say that thou art free.
We miss the from the band 50 dear
That gathers round our hearth,
We listen still thy voice TO hear
Amid our household mirth;
We gaze upon thy vacant chair;
Thy form we seem to see,
We start to 6nd thou art not there;
YetJoy that thou art free.
A thousand old familiar things,
Within our childhoOd's no mo,
Speak of the cherished. absent one
Who never more shall come.
They wako with mingled bliss aud pain,
Fond memories Of thee.
But would we,call thee back again?
We Joy that thou art free.
Amid earth's conflict, woe and care,
When our dark path appears,
Wis sweet to KIN W thou caDst not share
0ur anguish and our tears;
That on thy head no more shall fall
The storms we may not fee:
Yes, safely sheltered from them all,
We Joy that thou art free.
For thou hast gained brighter land,
And DEATHS cold stream 10 passed.
Thine are the Joys at 6 od's right hand,
That shall Orever taste;
A crown Is on thy angel brow,
Thine the King, doth see,
Thy homo is with the seraphs now
We 10y that thou art freel
American Lancaster gazette. [volume] (Lancaster, Ohio) 1855-1860, 1859-03-24

EE Two Yankee horse jockeys were
discussing the:other day, at Berkshire the
respective merits Of their horses. dogs, &c
when one of them spoke in somewha
spreading terms Of the size Of a certain
dog. "How large is that dog?" said TIN
other. "Well, 1 d'no exactly" was th'
reply, II won't pretend TO give his meas
ure Just from recollection, bnt one thing
know sent to New York for full de
scripton Of the critter. and the postage OF
the document was just three dOlidrs!'-
There was no furthsr inquiries as to th'
size.
American Lancaster gazette. [volume] (Lancaster, Ohio) 1855-1860, 1859-03-24

ExcRUcfAT1Ne.-An out.west Editor has
been skating with the girls. Hear him.
"Talk about warm parlor, soft sofa,
limpid nonsense, gentle squeezes, knotty
sighs, bashful eyes, shakes and tremors.
dying embers, midnight hours, artificial
flowers, all compared to an ice parlOr, for
courting purposes. Bad place for lovers,
is the ice. The lady employs you to ad-
just her skate, hold her in the right posi-.
ton, and stand ready with open arms as
they fall, just stop and think moment
Think Of lover fOoling away an hour a.
bout the pretty foot that belangs to the
pretty eyes peeping out from under the
warm hood. Think how nice it is Of q
bright moonlight night, pipirg cod, to
race that pretty one far out ffom the crowd
with an arm around her waist 10 keep her
from falling, and the gentle motion on
skates fairly intoxicating you with more
than heavenly rapture. Go way with your
parlor couriing. where the house clock
must be muffled, and where the old folks
keep both ears open to catch the advance
darts Of Cupid-the stolen kiss. Give us
the ice.
American Lancaster gazette. [volume] (Lancaster, Ohio) 1855-1860, 1859-03-24

CUPID's ARRAH0EMENF FLUsrRATED.--
The Arlington Yirginian relates the fol-
lowing very amusing story:
owe happened to be at our depot few
days Hgo, when the mail train arrived
from Bristol. As Il noted OF in 6Erry.
we observed young gentleman 4 a1lrg
upon the track fnths rear Of d y q.
barsheadsd, and with evident dissppoint-
ment depicted on his eountenance Re-
marking that passenger bad been left. a
bystander, with knowing wink, replied
that the bareLeaded man upon the track.
aud young lady upon the train. had in
tended to stop at Abingdon, with the design
Of committing ma:rimony. The young
lady was in charge Of her mother. who
was taking her eastward from Bristol to
prevent the marriage. The young lady
had arranged the matter thus. The ex
pectant groom, W thout the knowledge o.
the mother. was to come as Ear as AbiDg
ton in the baggage car, end then, atout
the time the traiE was TO start, he was t.
run to t! back platform Of the rear car
where his lady love was 10 be standing
aud as tie train moved of he was to III
her down, and let the iueotriRible mammI
60 on, with ample time for rejecting upon
The uncertainty Of human Calculations
TIE arrangements were understood by thG
engineer, who was 10 move off as rapidly
as possible. as soOu as the hatless gentle
man disappeared behind the train. TS'
mother, however, making her way to ta'
roar Of the car, looking round for he
daughter, and sseing her about ready L
pass on the platform, rushed toward her
and grasped her tightly BY bef cluthing
lust at which moment. the lover havinI
reached the signal post, toOl tooi! sound
ed the whistle. and away went the train
with mother holdiag on to the daughter
and the young gentleman as before remark
ed, standing bareheaded upcn the track
looking very much as il be had let bir
Igo.
American Lancaster gazette. [volume] (Lancaster, Ohio) 1855-1860, 1859-03-24

MAN AND HIS CoNDITIoN.-In McCul'
loch's letter TO Sir Walter Scott is the fol
lowing:
What piece Of work is mani He GER
tainly is, Master Shakespeare. Because
his pulse takes a fancy to beat 82 insteat
of 72, he is unable, in twelve hours, to ST
up in his bed, and when hegets out Of j
at length to enjoy the fresh air, be mus
hold fast by the wall he could have jump
over few days before. If the pulse con
tinues rebellious the carpenter comes, AM
nails him up in box, and all of his half
finished schemes are at an end. Some on
says that if a wstchmaker's production
did not go better he would get very It'll
work.
American Lancaster gazette. [volume] (Lancaster, Ohio) 1855-1860, 1859-03-24

DECLINE OF THE WHEAT AND INCREASED
Conn CRoPs.-At the late meeting Of the
Phi adelphia Society for Promoting Agri-
culture, DR., Elwyu called the attention Of
the members to tie fact that the wheat
crops of this country were fas, diminish
inp, so far as the number OF bushels 10
the acre was concerned. He stated that
in Ohio, a State but little over fifty years
old the crop ba fallen of from forty bush
els to the acre TO about sixteen, while 10
tbs best portions OF New York. where
thirty bushels used TO be considered a
fair crop. only twelve bushels are now
raised. The falling of in other States
had been equally marked, but while tAi'
was the fact with the wheat crop he wat
glad to know that the smoant of corr
produced to the acre had largely increased
and was still increasing enormously. ~
American Lancaster gazette. [volume] (Lancaster, Ohio) 1855-1860, 1859-03-24

Eg-To any degree of true love to Je-
sus, no soul can attain unless he be truly
meek. For proud soul seeks to have his
own will, and so he shall never come 10
auy degree of Gods love-. Even the low
or that soul sitteth in the valley Of meek
ness, so many the more streams of grace
and love come thereto. And II the soul
be high in the hills Of pride. the wind oi
the 6end bloweth away all manner Of good
ness thareirom.-[Wicklifie.
American Lancaster gazette. [volume] (Lancaster, Ohio) 1855-1860, 1859-03-24

EE Happiness does not consist 20 much
in outward. circumstances and personal
qualifications, as in the inward feelings
There can be no true enjoyment OF that,
which is not honestly obtained; for a
sense OF guilt infuses into it bitter ingre-
dient which makes II nauseous. What
pleasure can the drunkard have in his cups
when be knows, that every drop be swal-
lows, is SO much dishonesty taken from
his wife and children; and. that, to satisfy
his brutal propensity, they are deprived
Sfthe necessaries Of life?
American Lancaster gazette. [volume] (Lancaster, Ohio) 1855-1860, 1859-03-24
ESTABLISHED IN 1925
Plain Hint. 70 Young Farmel.


IT'S said "a word u the wise is snfi.
cient"
Always take ona more agricultural
papers, for eYsfs Dum will give yott
infcrmstion ehich viii benefit you in dol.
las
. admouished at stitch In time saSoa
Dine. or the Lying upa rail. or mailing on
board may save the ninth repetition and
unruly stock. s.
Colts must have great deal Of exsrA
else. s.q
Don't be afraid to plow deep. A few.
mere oats 10 the spring viii make many
more at harvest. .s,.. t..,[.
Feed your fowls the year round il you
would make them profitable. -
Have q separate pen into which your
pigs can go and get shellsd cornand milk.
Judge not hastily, but exsmine well Be-.
fore you decide.
Keep clear Of Sbshghsis.
Lime should be accessible to poultry.
Make the most Of everything. -.
Never half do any thing: you may thus
lose more in one day than month can re-
Store. =.
0hen inspect your stock. and keep
sharp lo.k out for disease and accident. +,
Pure water should Re supplied to eve.
rything. -.
Quality and not qu'ntity should be- your
maxim. .-,4, y,
American Lancaster gazette. [volume] (Lancaster, Ohio) 1855-1860, 1859-03-24
Mrs. stuhs and Mr.. stubs.

Correct uiews of Me formsr: "Fdbs, /
want to talk to You while, and want
you to listen while do it, You want TO
60 to sleep, but don'I; I'm not one Of
the sleepy kind. It'sa good thing for
you, Mr.. Fubs, that you have q wife who
impSris information by lectures, else you
would be q perfect ignorsmus. Not q
thing about the house to read except a lit
lie bible that the Christian Association
gave you, and tract which that fellow
called Porter left one day, entitled Light
to the Heathen.' It's well be left it, for
you're hsathen. Fubbs: you may feel
thankful you amt Mormon! Yes, 1 un-
dsrstand that institution too. you profane
wretch! You mean you're glad you
have mt but one wife. You never would
have known there was a Mormon, Mr..
Fubs, il l hadn't told you, cause you're
too stingy to take paper. Now Fubs--
l declare your name ought to be Fits
you tell SO many Of 'em. It's only las
week lost q dollar and a half on butter
sold to pedder, because l didn't know
the market price. This would have paid
for the paper Whols year. And then
you're so ignorant, Fubs. Don't you re-
member when you took the gun and walk.
ed down to the big marsh hunting, be,
cause some one said the T1Ikeys were
marching into Rushes? Yes go" did,
You needn't deny it, Fubbs. Didn't xii
any, did you? 1t was bad day for tur
key, wasn't it Fubs? Hal ha! ha!
American Lancaster gazette. [volume] (Lancaster, Ohio) 1855-1860, 1859-03-24

A CANARD.- There is a capital canard
in the State journal ofthis morning, pur-
porting to disclose the true object Of that
extraordinary and mysterious Order,
the "Sons Of Malta" which under the
prestige Of being secret charitable organ
izaiion, is gathering within its mystic
brotherhood thousands all over the land.
Of every quality and degree. tfit be the
invention Of our vivacious and amiabls
friend "the local" Of that paper, it is an
evidence Of the fertility o! his Imagination,
which certainly springs from rich soil,
and has copious fountains 10 replenish It,
But We rather take it, that his credulity
has been imposed upon, and that some
mischevious individual threw in his way
the dispatch, aware of his susceptibility:
What's Cuba 10 him, or he ioa CoBa.
He sets it down that tho capture Of Gu
bans the object, and that . military or
ganizaliou is being formed in this re.
markable and mysterious way. We give
the dispatch which he says twas picked up
in the streets of this city," as startling in
deed, il ftrue.- Columbus Fact.
"To the Grand Commander OF Vallette
Lodge, No. 8. Columbus, State of Ohio
SIR Under instructions from the Grand
Council of the Nation. I Would inform YOU
by special messenger. that eight hundred
picked men are now quartered on thu
southern coast of Florida, ready to sail Al
moments warning for the "beautifu
Isle" You are hereby commanded to
confer with the Grand Lodge Of your
State, and return minute statement Of any
companies or regiments under the present
com mand Of your Lodge.
/ "PAxToN B. WooD.
"Grand Commander, Habaua Lodge
No. Z, La.
dated at New Orleans. January 26
1885,"
American Lancaster gazette. [volume] (Lancaster, Ohio) 1855-1860, 1859-03-24

EE AiAouse fall Of children composes as
powerful group aof motives as ever moved
heart or hand; Il a secret Of many gallant
stuggle and triumph in the worlds battle
may be found in It's mothers lap o, done
up in little bundle of white flannel. A
nations hope, before has been found in .
bAsketof bulrushes. Get ready TO be a.
fraid Of the man that children are afraid Of
aud be sure that be who hates them, is NOT
hiaAseh worth loving. IS efas7a
American Lancaster gazette. [volume] (Lancaster, Ohio) 1855-1860, 1859-03-24
nz.Tba M;roeso,a naners a.v tbat

EB-The Minuesota papers sy that the
Indians in that part Of the country are be-
ing rapidly civilized. all those in the neigh.
borhood Of the settlements drinking whis-
key. chewing tobacco, stealing and swear
ing equal TO white mems aud the other day
a young squaw o, mmittsd suicide by
hanging herself onsa tree, on account ol
disappointment in love. .l
American Lancaster gazette. [volume] (Lancaster, Ohio) 1855-1860, 1859-03-24

EW Seven years ago land could be
bought within six, eight or ten miles of
S.. Paul for one dollar and twenty five
oents an acre, now il is worth from one to
three hundred dollars per acre.
American Lancaster gazette. [volume] (Lancaster, Ohio) 1855-1860, 1859-03-24

TGood temper is the philosophy Of
the heart. gem oI the treasury within,
whose rays are reflected on all outward
objects; perpetual sunshine, imparting
warmth, light and life to all within the
sphere Of its influence.
American Lancaster gazette. [volume] (Lancaster, Ohio) 1855-1860, 1859-03-24

SCRNs IN A SAEcrUM --Bnter . LARGE
strong man, with cowhide.
"Ist the editor in2"
Eyes"
"You?"
"Yes."
IL have come to settle with you"
"Welh editor draws arsyolver) Go
on" ...s
II have taken your paper a year"
WELL" (cappiOg pistol s
"An article in your last weeks issue,
(editor cocks the pistol convinced me that
you needed-''
II deny your right to give it--iherefore
pleAss be cautious, sir"
"GiVe you what?"
"a threshingi"
"Why. no. my dear sir, came to pay
you my subscription in advanced
OF course, no further disturbance wal
made.
American Lancaster gazette. [volume] (Lancaster, Ohio) 1855-1860, 1859-03-24

EF Young men. who have no other re-
source than their REFLEcrIoNs. can be
Justly proud Of their fortune. LISA COM
petence, which if wisely expended mustbe
a source Of lasting happiness to its poss'
essor. t,..,s s-,s 81,
American Lancaster gazette. [volume] (Lancaster, Ohio) 1855-1860, 1859-03-24


LIVING AND MEANs.-The world Il full
Of people who ean't imagine Why they don't
prosper like their neighbors. when the real
obstacle is notin banks or tariffs, IN bad
public policy not hard times, but in their
own extravagancs and needless ostentas
tatiOn. The young mechanic. or clerk,
marries and takes house. which be pro.
ceeds to furnish twice as extensively IS bs
can afford. and then bis wife, instead Of
taking bold to help him earn livelihood,
by doing her own work. must have hired
servant to hep spend his limited eafnings.
Then years afterwards, you will find him
struggling on uuder double load Of debts
and children, wondering Why the luck was
always against him, while his friends re-
greet his UNHAPPY destitution and financial
ability. Had they from the first bssn
frank and honest, be need not have bean
so unlueky. Through every grade Of So
ciety this vice Of ihordiAate expenditure
insinuates itself. The single man, "hifed
out" 10 the country at ten to fifteen dol
lars per month, who contrives to dissolve
his years earnings IN irolics and fine
clothes: the clerk, who has thtee to Eve
hundred year. and melts down twenty to
City of it into liquor aud cigars, are psral.
leled by the young merchant who Ellis .
spacious house with costly furniture, gives
dinners and drives fast horse. on The
strength Of the profits he expects to realize
when his goods are all sold. and bis notes
all paid. Let man have genius for
spending. and wheth,r bis income be 4
dollar day or dollar minute, il is
equally certan TO prove inadequats. II
dining, wining and party giving wont help
him through with it. building, gaming and
speculation are sure TO. The bottofnless
pocket will never GIT. no matter how boun-
teOus the stream pouring intoit. The man
who, tbeine single, does not save money
on six dollars per week win not be apt 10
| on sixty; and he who does not lay up some
thing in his frs: yeat Of their independent
exertion. viii be pretty like to wear poos
mans hair into his grAve.-GGreeisy.. y Z.
American Lancaster gazette. [volume] (Lancaster, Ohio) 1855-1860, 1859-03-24

EETherc are exceptions to every rule
but the rule of three; that is never chang
ed. As your income is to your expendi-
ture, SO viii the amount Of your debts be
to your cash in hand. and your constant
ability to meet them.
American Lancaster gazette. [volume] (Lancaster, Ohio) 1855-1860, 1859-03-24

ET How the universal heart Of man
blesses flowersl They are wreAthed round
the cradle, the marriage-altar and the
tomb. The Cupid and the ancient Hin
docs tipped his arrows with flowers. and
orange flowers are bridal.croWn with us
"a nation OF yesterday. Flowers gar
landed the Grecisn altar. and hung in vo-
tive wreaths before the Christian shrine.-
MRS. Child. rH e't r.+
American Lancaster gazette. [volume] (Lancaster, Ohio) 1855-1860, 1859-03-24

EE"'Dear me. Mrs. Jones where's
your son Harry? / ain't seen him this
long time" "Well. Ill tell yer. Mrs.
FIukes, his father thought he'd have one
in the family what 'ud be smart so he sent
him of to set aa epidemic sdacadon."
American Lancaster gazette. [volume] (Lancaster, Ohio) 1855-1860, 1859-03-24

RIcHks.-0n sulIry, bot summer day.
an honest old farmer was blowing his owa
6rld, when suddenly. under the shade Of
an oak, be bebeld god like figure slowly
approaching him. The man startled back
i am solomon said the phantom in .
coDfding voice. What art thou doing
here. old man?' co1 ts.a
'Ifthoa art Solomon was the replys
how canst thou talk to me? When | was
a youth thou didst send me to the ant, 4
saw its method of living. and it taught me
10 be dilligeut, industrious and psrserying
and gather the superhuous for stormy
day, What / then learasd, / still cOalia-
ne TO do va ,s ieo
Thou hast stadied thy lesson but half
replied the spirit, go once more eothe AM,
aud learn from it also how to find rest and
quiet in the winter Of thy years, and how
To enjoy that which thou has hoared up.
American Lancaster gazette. [volume] (Lancaster, Ohio) 1855-1860, 1859-03-24

cg One very cold nigh. village doc
tor was reused from bis slumbers BY very
loud knocking a: the door. After some
hesitation he went'to the window, and ask
ed, WHO'S lhrrs?" "a friend. "What
DO you want?'' ITO stay here all night
"Stay then, and welcome. was the be-
nevolent reply. as be closed the window,
aud crept again into bed. ~ ~.
American Lancaster gazette. [volume] (Lancaster, Ohio) 1855-1860, 1859-03-24

Are you near sighted Miss, ? said an nfn--
perteuent fellow to young lady who did
not choose to recognize him. Yes q tina
distance ! can hardly tell whether ycuaEe
% Pig or puppyl es IS e s
American Lancaster gazette. [volume] (Lancaster, Ohio) 1855-1860, 1859-03-24

EW Thecontemplatiou Of fcelesddthinen
will nskeea man both speak and think
more sublimely and magnidcenIly whenhe
.desceads 10 human sffaiss. Il Cicero.
American Lancaster gazette. [volume] (Lancaster, Ohio) 1855-1860, 1859-03-24

EE Two lrishmen were going to 6re
of cannon jusi1fOr fun; but being OF
rather an economical turn Of mind, they
did not wish to lose the bah. So one Of
them took an iron kettle in his hands to
oatoh il iu; and stationing himself in front
ofthe loaded piece. be exclaimed to the
other who stood behind it with a lighted
torch, "Touch il easy, Tommyp
American Lancaster gazette. [volume] (Lancaster, Ohio) 1855-1860, 1859-03-24

EEMost men employ their first years
so as to make their last miserable.
American Lancaster gazette. [volume] (Lancaster, Ohio) 1855-1860, 1859-03-24
GAtRautasttr @a3tttt.
CLARKE g. SON,
Terms of Subscription to the Gazette.
AND PROPRIETOR

OFFIcE--Martin's Row, one Door South
of the POst-Ofice