Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1859-11-24

and cross, he never thought his wife did any
thing right in the house. Sc one evening, il
haymaking time, he came home, scolding and
swearing, and showing his teeth, and making
dust.
Dear love, don't be so angry there's 8
good man." said his goody tomorrow let's
change our work, I'll go out with the mowers
aud NOW, and you shall mind the house at
home"
Yes the husband thought that would dc
very we'll He was quite willing
So, early next morning, his goody took q
scythe over her neck and went out into the
bayfield, with the mowers, and began to NOW
but the man was to mind the house, aud dc
the work at home
First of ell, he wanted to churn the butter;
but when be. had churned awhile, he got thiis
ty, and went down to the cellar to tap bar.
rel of ale. SO, just when he had knocked in
the buDg and was putting the tap into the
caSk, he heard overhead the pig come into the
kitchen. Then off he ran up the cellar steps
with the tap in his hand, as fast as he could,
TO look after the pig lest it should upset the
churn but when he got up and saw the pig
had already knocked the cburn over, and stood
there, roofing and gruntng amongst the cream,
which was running all over the floor, be was
SO wild with rage that he quite forgot the ale
barrel, and ran at the pig as hard as he could
He caught it, just as it ran out of doors, and
gave it such kick that piggy lay foI dead on
the spot Then all at once he remembered
that he had the tap in his hand, but when he
got down to the cellar every drop Of ale had
run out Of she cask.
Then he went to the dairy and found enough
cream left to fill the churn again, aud SO he
began to churn, for butter they must have at
dinner. When he had churned Bit he re-
memibered that their milking cow was still shut
up in the byrc, and hadn't a bit to eat or a
drop to drink all the morning, though the sun
was high. Then all at once he thought twas
too far to take her down 10 the meadow, so
he'd just get her on the house top-for the
house, you must know, was thatched with SodS,
aud fine crop of grass was growing there.
now their house lay close up against steep
down, aud he thought if he had laid a plank
across to the thatch at the back he'd easily get
the cow up.
But still he couldn't leave the churn. for
there was his little babe crawling about on the
floor, and if | leave it," he thoaght, the
child is sure to upset it," So he took the
churn on his back and went out with it but
then he thought he'd better first water the COW
before he turned her out on the thatch so he
took up bucket TO draw water out 0. the
well but as he stopped down at the wells
briuk, all the cream run out of the churn over
his shoulders, aud 50 down into the we'll
Now it was near dinner time aud he hadn't
even got the butter yet SO he thought he's
best boil the porridge, aud filled the pot with
water aud hung it over the fire. When he had
done that he thought the COW might perhaps
fall off the thatch and break her legs or neck
So he got up on the house to tie her up. One
end Of the rope he made fast 10 the cows neck
and the other he slipped down the chimney
aud tied it around his own thigh, and he haC
to make haste for the water now began to bo
in the pot, and he had sill to grind the oat
meal.
SO he began to grind away, but while hc
was hard at it, down fell the cow off the house
top after all, and as she fell, she dragged the
man up the chimney by the rope. There he
stuck fast and for the COW, she hung hall
way down the wall, swinging between heaven
and earth, for she could neither get down Oh
up.
And now the goody had waited seven length:
and seven breaths for her husband to COME
and call her home to dinner, but never cal
they had. A last, she thought she'd waited
long enough and went home. But when she
got there she saw the COW hanging in such al
ugly place, she ran up and cut the rope with
her scythe. But as she did this down came
her husband out of the chimney and so whel
his old dame came inside the kitchen, there she
found him standing on his head on the porridgt
pot.-Dasenfs Tales from tie Morse.