The star of the north. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, 1859-02-02
From the ". o. Courier.
Dream of an Editor.

| ing into revery, and from that into "doz-
ing" and from doing into sleep-sleep in
our chair-sleep under gas light-sleep
with "papers 10 the right of US and papers
10 the left of us"-sleep in our room where
we are generally pretty wide awake. We
dreamed : 1--WE are not accustomed 10 mar
rate our dreams, but this was Christmas
dream,) and in our dream were renewed
all the joyous and jolly sights and sounds of
all the Christmas days of our life. A bound
less cortiguity of pretty children in new
dresses and with handsome toys, merry,
dancing and musical; thousand orphans
made glad with the gifts of charity; thou
sand peals OF bells ringing out with the mu-
sic OF rejoicing; an army ofinebriate youths
celebrating in revelry the advent of the Sa-
viour and at the same time forcibly illustra-
ting their great need of salvation; sad din
of pistols and FIRE crackers; millions of dane
ers chasing the glowing hours with winged
feet floating Ministers Of Pleasure in beau.
tiful forms such as painters dream of but
never put on canvass; groups of laughing
Elves clustering among the branches of gol-
den trees which had bottle of choice
champagne hanging on every twig, the air
bearing on all its undulations enchanting
tones of flutes, organs and singing voices
gems and pearls and delightful vision y
coins of gold falling in showers all around
We thought again that we were standing
on the sappire shore of wide sea of egg
nogg with a golden ladle in our hand, which
'ever and anon" we dipped into thelcreamy
flood. AS we stood there ankle deep in gol-
den sands we saw an aged man padding
towards us in dug-out, handling his silver
oars most gracefully. His craft was laden
10 the edge with toys and jewelry. He leap.
ed ashore and introduced himself as Santa
Claus, Esq. 81 have had busy day. said
| he, "for suppose have distributed, since
twelve O'Clock last night, about fourteen
millions of stockings full of Christmas gifts.
have scarcely recovered from the money
| pinch of last year, and have not been quite
as lavish as heretofore; nevertheless. fiat
Ter myself that | have judiciousy used the
funds placed at my disposal by the appro-
! prlale committee"
We congratulated Sanla Claus on his sue
cessful and no doubt satisfactory annual dis
:ribution.
He Wiped his wrnkled brow with his
bandana and continued
81 have finished my days work all but
my visit 10 you. was just padding ashore
TO find some wafer when | was happy to
see you. cannot be mistaken! You are
an editor, MIR. -, of the Courier.
We acknowledged ourselves 10 be that
Individual.
"Well, then, have few presents which
are especially designed for editors, and al
though You are opposed TO the dead-head
system, hope you will do me the honor to
accept them. Mind ou, am no candidate,
no log-roller, no politician; | do not want
my character white-washed or anything of
that. If did should know better than ap-
ply 10 the Courier.
He pulled up his sleeves and began 10
overhaul the gew-gaws and jewelry in his
canoe.
''ln this boX," said lie, lyon will find a
condensed miniature library of some five
hundred volumes. There is not word of
trash or falsehood in the whole lot. In pre-
pairing this library for your use 1 have re-
jected everything not written by faithful,
honest authors. You can find anything you
want in this collection, and the volumes
have this valuable pecularity-they cannot
be borrowed or stolen.
"Here is a charm that will protect you
against intruders and bores. 1t is a simple
contrivance, and the method of using it will
readily suggest ITSELF"
# was indeed nothing but substantial
lock and key.
"This little machine is a thing of very
delicate workmanship, which shall no
undertake to explain. Hang it up undel
your clock. The needle turning upon the
centre pivot is the moral index, which will
point out on the dial plate the precise rea
tive degree of mortality of every man who
enters your door. Watch this little monitor
and govern yourself by it. Whenever {
VIGOROUSLY bad man happens TO come in
take the monitor down and put it in you
pocket-the extraordinary strain upon it
machinery to indicate high degree of ras
cality may injure it. If any one varies from
the truth in his conversation this monito
will give out scarcely audible ringing, nj
louder than the still small voice.
"This package of ivory tablets is intend
ed to predict the names of successful candi
, dates. Write, for example, the names O
: the hundred prominent candidates for III,
, Presidency upon as many tablets, shuffi'
!. them, put this ring on your fore6nger ant
draw card. Lay that card aside until al
J ter the adjournment of the Charleston Con
veniion and, you can see whether it bear
the name Of the candidates or not Mos
: probably it will not"
:. We saw that Santa Claus "meant Joke
but we did not want TO know who the can
didate is to be, and he knew that we di
Y not.
= "Here is a peculiar pen. After you hav
It written your editorials hold this pen hor
J zontally and move it over each line. Whe
I il comes to superauous word it will .det