Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1859-01-15
rhe Ladies' nO0ps.

"a Reader" dropped Us line some
time since, al inquired why We Gld no'
"touch pom hoops p We bad con'em-
plated touching lightly on this sahjNct,hu'
in looking over our exchanges. we ma
the following which we offer a subsu
tute for anything that we might wrlte up.
On Tie subject:
Hoops and their Uearers-TaH tcOmen,
short WomeH, etc.
An Englishman has lately written
pamphlet entitled Dangers OF CrmoInc,
in which he avows that this fashion Is
making lamenlable inroads into the health,
happiness and morals OF his fair country
women. We cannot agree with this En-
glishman's idea Of cr.noline as conducting
To III health, for assuredIv he fashion has
essentially Iigh,ened the load of skirts wo-
men were wont 10 wear, and with proper
under garments the person can be as well
protected as heretofore. The pamphlet
SAYS:
The Tai UOman.
Now look in the opposite direclion,and
see that tall lady sailing along in all the
amplitude OF skirts. Wha. does she look
like A Jack-in the green on stills; a
weeping willow grated ON 10 a poplar;
the monument stuck into the dome OF ST..
Paul's, with The downwards; or any 9th
er bizarre cOngIomeralion you can lmag-
inc. Onward she comes against violent
gust of wind. See how size rocks 10 and
fro, like a vessel in storm, keeping her
perpendicular position with ;he greatest
difficulty, and grssPing hold of the rail-
ing as she passes along, steady herself on
her feet.
The Fat UOmHn.
Anon there comes a very short lady, to
whom nature has been extremely kind III
awarding an amplitude of figure seldom
seen. One would think that this lady
would be satisfied with the amount of bulk
tha, had been appOrtioned her. But no
such a thing; with the waywaTdness and
blindness which the victims Of fashion are
guilty Of, she believes that adding to the
extep; of corporeal outline aGds charm
to the already liberal possession toasIed of.
The Thin U0mnn.
And now there comes the exact oppo'
site Of her who has just passed; a t.n,
very thin lady, somewhat malcio1sIy
called "scraggy," without the slgn1es'
preiension TO figure, and no development
worth speaking Of. BE good enough to
observe that the lady is, for purposes best
known 10 herself, holding her dress sever
al inches from the ground, ,and as she does
so, displays foot and something more OF
pair of slender, shapecss legs, that con
trast most oddly and unDicturesquely with
the surrounding extent Of skirt.
The Sttmpy Uoman.
See ! there is short, stumPy woman
of about forty. FIVE, coming down the street
What does she look like in The distance :!
Why, her body resembles pjn-cushlon
ard her head a pin stuck IN; or a water,
butt, with the handle of broom peeping
out al the top; or an animated hummlng-
top; or a ] cOmotive Goblin; or an inflated
sack tied in a knot al the mouth, or any.
thing, in fact, that can be more ludlcrous
han another. Mark uhe lady draws
near; she evidently admlIes herself, and
looks downward with an air ol supreme
satisfaction. There goes the precious
swing, swing ,swob, swob, first back wards,
then lorw ards, Ihen round about, then up
and down, aud finally ends with jumbe
Of al the movements. 4 sci OF LILLE boys
see my lady coming. AMI begin 10 scent
fun. 'Cuckey amt she full blown 'un,
Tom = W hat line does The baIIon go
up 2 Who's Your cooper 2 and several
olher imperlinent queries are addressed by
these wicked liule boys TO the inflated le-
male. Onward she goes ,somew bat crest
fallen, it is true, but not quite CONVERTED.
and hausrs herself wilhthe contemplation
of the sensation she will cause when she
reaches TIE pUrlleus OF the West End.
HEAVY DAMAGES Rev G. w. Quin-
by obtained $500 damages from DR..
Frederick Eek, ,en in one Of the CIncin-
natl Courts, the Doctor having put up
benadona instead Of dandelron as pres
cripiion, and setioesly Injured The health
Of the Clergyman.
TIE total damages and military expen-
ses consequent on the burning Of ihe
Quarantine buildings on Sm'en Island.
New York, Will NOT fall shOtI OF S4O5,-
800. - ..-
nlIa c.l II &