Delaware inquirer. (Wilmington, Del.) 1859-18??, 1859-06-04

place an send 'em home agin' and they APP
pointed Captain John Smith to be commander
in-chief of the army an at 1t they went tooth
an, toe nail an in consequence ofthese things
havin' ben done on Independence day it was
called the Fourth O. July" All my friends,
ye ort to be very thankful when yer comes
to contemplate the many numerous blessins
what surrouns yer, that's so, il ar, but to per-
coed as rs goin ter remark, | hewitt told ye
all wot was did in regard to that taniation ole
piece o. ritin dong may she wave over this
ere CRATE empire) tharfore feel it reeumbient
on me to say a.few words in conclusion afore
wind up. Ye see one chap, Benny Dick Ar
mold was his name, was SIGH an all-ired tell
tale he had to go and tell the ole King all
about what these Pilgrim folks had rit on the
paper aforesed wot told We about an as soon
as the ole coon could realize that it were real
~ so lie jumped rite up an down an swore
as how he'd give the 'merican people particu.
lar thunder, jest cause they wouldn't drink
his darned ole tea He cussed ole Santa An
ma, who is ded an gone now, peace to his
ashers, an called him a wooden legged hum
bug, an all SIGH names as that, yes my friends
he cussed for three hours an seventy three
minutes, awful Benny Dick in the meanwhile
settin on cheer very patiently waitin' fur
him to git done and wonderin' if he couldn't
git chance to hook the ole Ofellar's watch
fore he left, but it weren't no go. After a
while the royal blood as they call il begin to
cool down little an then the way seven
thousan' devoted subjecks lost their heads "a
way the ole Teller had of appeasin his ratll)
was enuf to make yer hair stan rite up. ALI
them was glorious times, they amt none SIGH
now days. But ought to "a told yer that
Benny Dick left the Kings house when the
head-cuttin' begun an was never heard of
since, hence hewas called the "Exile of Erin"
Well assbtold We afore, the Kings soldiers
comed over here an thought as how they
could lick our fust parents, but they found
they was mistaken, they fit an fit, an fit fur
some seventy years but they was obliged to
| give up the'coiltest after ALL The last impOr-
tant fife they had was at New oaleans where
the Roman General, Napolean Bonaparte, sur
rendered his penknife shootin' iron, an other
trinkets to John Hancock, the inventor OF
steamboats, an also at the same time the man
who saved the life o. Pocahontas the Indian
warrior who was goin to be killed by Dan
lei Boone the father of his country. This is
truly, yes, truly glorious day fur all, it IL a
day that is chosen as holiday by every true
patriarch who loves his home an his wife-ah
these gentlemen an ladies, HIS wIFR that's it.
What man is there that don't love the wife
o. his bosom, say is there SIGH aimani does
SIGH bein' draw breath The face of the
speaker now presented the appearance of
boiled beet. He was dripping with sweat and
it was evident that he was getting pretty well
tired ont. As he neared the end OF his speech
his voice grew louder and his gestures more
violent, "Waning' he continued sis mans
better angel an the man what don't love the
partner of his joys an sorrers does not an
cannot love his country. say added he raj
sing his voice she does not love his country
its an onpossiblity THAT'S So" As he said
these last words he brought his foot down
with tremendous thump, which movement
upset one OF. the barrels that supported the
platform and threw the speaker headlong into
the arms of sharp nosed, red haired, red
faced yixenish looking woman, who had just
succeeded in making her way through the
crowd. It-l
A pretty way this, "said she in a shrll
voice" pretty way this is to do, when go
ont an leave we to mind the house. we sneak
off an come here, to make a tarnal fool o.
yersef and tell other people how they ort to
love their wives an all SIGH stuff, nav jest
put on yer hat an come rite home an III
teach you how ter mind your wife, come along
you miserable lookin vagabone, come along
this minute say an III let you see that You
aint everybody about the house. Without II
word, the chopfallen Moses picked up himself
and his hat and tottered of by the side of his
"better angelo az meek as lamb.
The crowd gave three laundering cheers for
Gimblet-Eyed Nose, three for his wife, and
three more for his Fourth of July Grafton,
when, night being near ut hand they began to
leave for their homes, and in a short time the
common was entirely deserted. Thus ended
Independence day'in Scrogtown.
Wilmington, May 24th 1869.