The Alleghanian. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1859-1865, 1859-11-24
are We al Drinking Nation

Are We a Drinking nation.
y Frenchman once said that Americans
were ''nation of one gravy"
Would he have not been nearer the
mark if he had called us a nation Of drin-
kers! We drink upon every and all oc-
casions. Not water. As "a continuous
beverage, water is not remarkably popu-
lar. Not water, but sundry and various
splrltuOUs and vinOus fluids, whereof the
custom-house officials have never, within
the memory of men now living, had OIL
cial knowledge. But we drink, notwith-
standing. We drink, morning, noon and
night. We drink between times. We
drink when We don't want it, in order TO
have cargo on board when we do need
and want it,
The American drinks his cocktails to
drown his SORROWS he swallows them be-
cause he IS joyful; he pours them down
his throat when disappointed in business,
and gorges upon them because he is pros
porous. Friendship commences over i
Julep, and ends i'll a smash. Jealousy
broods darkly over the absorption Of rum
punch, and medltates suicide, murder or
divorce over the last lingering drop Of a
brandy plain. Hope bubbles eternal in
sherry cobblers, and wit effervesces in
champagne. With us-for are We not q
nation OF drinkers "a bargain cannot be
settled unless 1t is settled over gin and
sugar. No president, no governor, 10 of
ticIal can be nominated, much less elected,
without the bar-ieast Of crackers and
cheese and the flow OF whiskey The wei
fare OF the nation, the stability of the gov
ernment cannot be maintained without
morning eye-openers, MONDAY nips and
midnight night-caps. The goddess of lib
erty could not stand an hour without her
smile The Great Bird can't fy with
out the benefit Of tod We drinl, to get
rid OF the Gttes, and drink when we have
not got them, to keep them off. We drink
when we are dry, and get dry in order to
drink when we are not dry. We drink
to the memory OF the departed at funerals,
and drink consolation to the griet-stricken
mOurner. The mourners drink the health
OF those who do not mourn, and those who
do not mourn drink because-they must
drink. Drink is the fundamental law OF
our social system, part and parcel Of our
Declaration OF Independence, and the bull
warI Of our nations greatness. Take a
drink - viii soon usurp the place Of ~
PittrtGus Cnuns," and bottle and glass
occupy the hands Of Justice in Leu of the
grocery scales and regulation sword
Schemes OF gigantic import are concocted,
war is declared and peace is made, by the
power Of statesmanIike brandy and wire
working whiskey. Our horn Of plenty re-
solves itself into horn Of ''red-eye." We
drink tast-Americans. We drink often,
and then drink again, that we may have
an appetite for more drink. The inven-
tive genius Of the publican is continually
striving to produce new fuidical combina-
tions with which to astonish and delight
the nation Of drinkers
The first greeting of a friend to one who
has just returned after years absence is
take drink !'' and the reply inevita-
bly, is-''well, | don't care If l do" And
drink they do. One sociable drink gives
conversation u start; the second round
brings up old times; the third, prospects
OF business the fourth, sundry anecdotes
fifth, more anecdotes sixth, maudlin dec
larations of eternal friendship; seventh,
a desire to drink again eighth, and up to
the twentieth-a flow Of spirits, and "we'll
ihihc--lllC-- cIj ii III III VI IL. LII
boys-ho, boys-hic."
Birth, marriage, and death, all come
and go with drink.
Surely, surely-are we not a nation of
drinkers We guzzle and swill, and alb
sorb and soak we brandy it, gin it, wine
it, punch it, smash it, whiskey skin it, and
rum it, and rarely water it. The Ameri-
can drinker is copper fastened, bolted with
water-tight compartments. The drinks he
swallows in year would kill, burn up,
eat up and consume score of English
men. Verify, we say unto you, oh !. dis
ciples of freedom and apostles of the star
spangled eagle-you are nation of drin-
kers. You punctuate your speeches, oh /.
orator of the people, with comma cock
tail, a semi-colon brandy, colon whiskey,
and a period of "high old time"
Inh