The Grand Haven news. [volume] (Grand Haven, Mich.) 1858-18??, 1859-06-01

From the Home and School Journal
s'' MOUNT vERDANT PAPERS.
ny ACTON FLoY.

am fond of fun, and on this occasion |
thought we might have beneficial fun
Yankee seemed 10 be the presiding gen.
ius Of the place-where does he not bear
sway AND the voices called out:
"Jim," "James," "Jamie," yankee"
at which Yankee Jim rose for the opening
speech, holding as fast to his chair as a
dry preacher in a country school house.
I suppose from the weightiness of the ar
guments with which he was burdened
proved too much for him, as often he
would make lurch and fall nearly TO the
floor. On went the speech.
"The resolution, Mr.. President, says
that liquor is indispensable. Truth sir
give us glass landlord, for it is indis-
pensable to thr public speaker. (Here he
drank.) Our good old Parson, when l
was boy, used to keep his brandy and
he would be sure to drink before going
into the pulpit. o how he used to preach,
especially of the good creatures of God.
Among them he numbered wine, brandy
and all those good things. The parson
called them props of life, and believe
him."
This last sentence was spoken with
such leaning dignity and with such pa
thos, the speaker fell sprawling on the
floor.
"You will have 10 take another glass"
/ laughed out, "for l see you have not
enough yet to prop you up"
"Thats fact; an faith landlord give
him another glass;" said Pat, and accord
ingly down went another dose of the liq-
uid fire. / laughed out again.
"Now take away the chair and see if
he has enough whisky to hold him up
avail guess you wont stranger |;
this is my desk" On went the speech
again.
"Sir, the resolution says cretur of God |!
Yes sir, it is one of the best of gifts; the
very water of life, and yet these temper
ance folks want to dry up the precious
fountain. Wall can't think of anything
moro to say. / motion (hic) we have
(hic)-
"What is hicw said /, for l felt from
the first that the only argument l could
make to take effect on these mad caps
was ridicule.
~ Atmy above speech the president cried
"Hold your tongue" and the crowd,
"Orier."
On went the speaker.
al motion (hic) we have (hic) song
(hic).
He sat down amid volley of calls.
"Song," song" ga song;" "who'll sing
songp
"Bill, you sing" said Pat.
"Sing, yourself" said Sucker.
Billp "Billp "a song from Bill,
bawled out half dozen voices.
avail, 1 recon I'll sing, so here goes, v
said Bill. But / won't soil the Mount
Verdant column by repeating the brawdy
song. A bic and spew ended the song,
and Bill was hustled out into the porch.
The drinkers liquored up. Bill was bro't
into the room again, and after cries Of
"Stranger," "Stranger," 1 arose to car
ry on the dreadful sport.
"Well, gentleman" said /, al have
got myself in scrape; but since an
in, will do my best. i will give some ar
guments in favor of drinking, and thcr
attend to the resolution. Mr.. President
] have often read of the affection Egyp
tians have for their dead. They embalm
cd friends that they might keep them TO
memory, giving them kind of earthly
Immortality. In this country we have I
new way Of doing the same thing
Whisky, sir, has a preservative power
and have seen many who are perfectly
embalmed-or rather emwhiskyed will
this new unguent. Doubtless when dea,
the bodies of these will be preserved 70
long years. They are, sir, walking, liy
ing pickles This is one benefit, wi
give you another: Sober men are proud
drinking men are humble. Why sir,
saw only last week nan walking mud
dy street. was so NICE | could hardl
get along for fear of tho mud; but he
good soul, went right through. Mu
was nothing to himl And to my SUI
prise he became so hnmble that he orc