The Alleghanian. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1859-1865, 1859-12-22
NO. Is.
WITAND WISDOM.
rA- Infations of laughing gas.

nsA- lnfations of laughing gas.
bg~ There is man up town so slow he
can't catch his breath.
ea- Pork should be salted down-nev-
er up.
pS A good washing fluid may be made
of hot water and plenty of soap.
nea- Children's dresses wear longer by
letting them reach to the ankles
pa Milk that has stood for some time
should be permitted to sit down.
na- Carpets will prove to be more du-
rable If you take care not to tread upon
them.
aA- Plenty of fresh, sweet butter and
a good appetite will keep bread from moul-
ding.
R1~ Woolen rags should always be
washed IN sweet oil before they are made
into flannel cakes.
Ba~ A regard for decency requires that
salad should be dressed before appearing
at the table
ssA- A western paper speaks of man
who 'died without the aid of physician"
Such instances of death are very rare
nA- He who is impressed with good
principles when young, Will never be en-
tlrely destitute Of sense of virtue.
m@- A head properly constituted can
accommodate itself to whatever pillows the
vicissitudes of fortune may place under it.
naa- A dandy is chap who would be
lady If he could, but, as he can't, does
all III his power to show the world that he
is not a man.
Bar Mrs. Partington asks, very indig-
nantly, if the bills before Congress are not
counterfeit, why there should be such
difficulty in passing them?
Ra~ Nothing more impairs authority
than too frequent or indiscreet use of it.
If thunder itself were to be continual, it
would excite no more terror than the noise
of mill.
asa- "I am afraid you will come to
want" said an old lady to young gentle
man.
al have come to want already" he re-
plied-"I want your daughter p
aa- He who brings ridicule to bear
without hilt. The most sparkling and
pointed flame of wit flickers and expires
against the incombustible walls of her
sanctuary.
BG~ Willis cleverly says, in one of his
sketches, that literary reputation is to be
built at this day like the walls of Jerusa-
lem-with a trowel in one hand for plas-
tering friends, and sword in the other
for shifting enemies.
n@- "Who is that lovely girl ?" said the
witty Lord Norbury, in company with his
friend, Counsellor Grant. "Miss Glass;"
replied Grant. 'sI should often be inbox-
icated, could [ place such a glass to my
lips" said Norbury.
BSs- IF you have friend whom you de-
sire to remain a friend, get in debt to him.
He'll never leave you-he'll haunt you
| and ''in fond remembrance" ever cherish
your virtues and the amount of your in
| debtedneSs.
BI- 1t is said by some Yankee to be an
excellent plan to always measure mans
length before you kick him, for it is bet
| ter to bear an insult than to make an uu-
successful attempt at thrashing a fellow,
and get your eye teeth knocked out.
p@ Fashionable ladies are said to be
principally composed of
| 'sThe bones of whales,
And cotton bales"
| And fashionable gentleman Of
"Gold chains and canes,
But nary brains"
ma A couple (not long married) were
contending about what should be the name
of their first and only child.
"John, my dear, | want to name him
| Peter"
''Oh, no, dear Hattie, don't like Pc
ter-he denied his master. Let US call
him Joseph"
"Why, John, I can't bear Joseph-he
| denied his mistress,
aa- "Mr. Speaker" said the new MEM
| ber, rising, ''we cannot prize too dearly
the rights of freemen. They have been
| transmitted to us by our fathers as rich
legacy; and palsied be the hand of the
one who would refuse to acknowledge or
maintain them. Among these rights, Mr..
Speaker, is the right of volition-of doing
as we please Every man, sir, should do
as he please; and if he does not, should be
compelled to-