The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1859-07-30
How 70 meet . Duelist

4 few years since - New England
gentleman, whose nane &as Brown, vas
posing few days at sbb1si in Ohso,p he
Aal the misfortune to AniueerN Of
feud the suscsp1ibte honor u Y taii Iadi.
ana colonel, WHO vas ore sf ~ bo0<ders.
His apologies not Ssisg t4tisfacsory, .
challenge was seal hiM, which, however.
he declined on the gwanl Of cooscieu.
tious scrapies.
The coloae., WIN. BY the way, had won
IN two or three encounters, quite repu.
,atioD. - daolx +. at onoe conceived tho
idea thss his opponent vas coward, and
resolved 70 Disgrace him, by fogg;ng him
in the facc Of the assembled wisdom of
the l,ousc. "a os - rsess as..a. 4. -n.aasss mas
Accordingly, the next day, at dinner
time, IN marched the duelist, armed with
formidable. cowhide, and advancing to
Browa's, chair, proceeded to dust his
jacket for him in the most approved style.
Brown was ;,stonishod Luckily he had
been Lieutenant of militia in his native
State, and knew the Importance Of ill.,
comn,nling the enemy by diversion.---
So, seiziirg the gravy tureen, he tossed
the contents into the face Of the be!liger-
ant colonel, and before the hero could re-
ever from the drowning sensation thus
accustomed, he spraug upon the table aud
began TO shower upon him, witt: liberal
hand, tho contents OF the dishes on the
table sa1 -~.....
'You are an iufernal--"
Coward" the colonel was about to
say; bat at that time plate Of greeus
struck full upon bis mouth, and the words
were blockaded aud lost forever.
"Ha.' cried the little New England
cr, whose blood was now up, "tond Of
greens, are you J? take potato, too" and
lie hurled u telling volIey OF hard potatoes
at him. Excellent eggs here capital
things with calf $ head !" and crash came
plate Of soft boiled eggs agaiust The
side of the colonel's Uranium.
The blows Of the cowhide, which had
hitherto descended upon the Yankee $
head aud shoulders, now began to fall
more weakly and wildly; and it became
evident tina THE :,ssailant, half stunn. d,
choked. and partly bl.ndcd, was getting
the worst Of it His courage was fast
oozing nIt.
''rake turkey" shouted Brown. rs
noble old gobbler descended upon the
colonies head, aud bursting. Allied bis
hair and eyes with delicious stuffng.
Heres the xns - he continued, as
the squash aud jelly followed after.
BY this time the colonel was irrctriev.
ably defeated; aud, as bis mercilcss OPP
poncnt seized huge plum pudding,
tteamipg hot, and holding it above his
head with both hands, seemed aboat to
bury him beneath it, he qaaled III terror,
aud throwing down the eowhidc, turned
sbou, aud made rush for the door.
Stop for the Tudiiug, colonel, stop
for tip pudding" Shouted Brown.
"puddiug, colonel, pudding !" shout
cd all bis fellow boalders, amid covulsions
OF laughter aa. ..#.. D..
But the colonel was too much terrified
to listen to their kind invitations. aad
did not cease Iuuuins till he reached his
room.
Bat, although the colonel escaped from
the p'unn pudding, lie soSld not escape
the ridcule which the affair occasioncd
He subsequently, challenged four persons,
aginst whom his ire was excited, and
shey all consented to fight; but, ayail;ug
themselves of the privilege of the chal-
leneed earty, appointed pudding bags for
:heir weapons. At length, the uptorta-
nate duelist. LpJing no one willing 10
shoot or to be shot At was obliged to leave
the State.