Saint Paul weekly Minnesotian. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1858-1859, 1859-03-26
A Hard Joke,

The Mobile Aduertiser of the 10th, tells
the following good story of notorious prac-
tical joker in that city, yclept "Straight.back
Dick" -.-. .. T.
Dick was at the wharf one day last week,
when one OF the up river boats arrived, look
ing, doubtless, for some runaway Individual
upon whom the exercises his talent He
| watched closely the countenance of each pas
senger, as he stepped from the plank upon the
| wharf, and at length fastened his gaze upon
an individual who, from his appearance and
manners was considerable nearer Mobile than
he had ever been before. He was evidently
ill at ease, and had probably heard the re-
ports, which were rife in the; country, relat-
i've to the hundreds who were dying in Mobile
every hour from yellow fever. The man
started off towards Dauphin street, carpet
sack in hand, but had not proceeded far,
when heavy hand was laid upon his shoul-
der, and he suddenly stopped. Upon turn
ing round, he met the cold, serious counten-
ance of Dick, and it seemed to send thrill
ofterror throughout his whole frame. After
looking at him steadily for about minute,
Dick slowly CALCULATED:
straight p
With visible fear in his countenance,
the poor fellow then essayed to do his COM
mand
Straighter yet" said Dick "There that
will do" and taking from his pocket small
tape-measure, he stopped down, and measur-
ed him from the toe of his boot to- the crown
| of his hat took pencil and carefully noted
the height in his pocket-book, to the utter
amazement of the stranger; after which he
measured him across the shoulders, and
again he noted the deminsions. He then
looked the stranger firmly in the face, and
said:
"Sir, am sorry that it is so, but real
ly will not be able to finish it for you before
morning" ~
Finish what ?'' asked the stranger, with
amazement ... ....s
"Why, your coffin, to be sure You see,
[ am city undertaken and the people are dy-
ing here so fast that can hardly supply the
demand for coffins You will have to wait
until your turn comes, which will be to-
morrow morning-well just say about nine
o'clock"
"But what the ID do want with cof.
fin? I've no idea of dyingp' .
You havn't eh Sir, you will not live
over two hours and half see it in your
very countenance. Why, even now you
have pain-a very slight pain in your
back" aa-- .a -.. :. ataf t..F 81.
"Y-yes, l believe 1 h-have" replied the
trembling hoosier.
Exactly" said Dick, "and your limbs,
too"
'"" Yes, stranger, you are right, and I be-
gin to feel it in the back Of my neck and
head" ...
"Of course you do and unless you do
something for it, you'll be dead in short
time, ! assure you. Take my advice, now,
go back aboard that boat, swallow, down a
gill of brandy, get into your state room, and
cover up with blankets. Stay there till you
perspire freely, then leave here like light
ming
g Hoosier hurried on board that boat, and
followed Dick instructions to the letter On
Monday he was met by gentleman at Cit
ronnelle, to whom he related his wonderful es-
cape from death by yellow fever, even after
preparations were being made to procure his
coffin He says he will never forget the kind
ness of the tall man in Mobile, who gave him
such good advice.