davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1859-03-31
CuriOsities of the Earth.

A: the city of Modena, in Italy, and
about four miles around it, wherever the
earth is dug. when the workmen arrive at
. distance Of 63 feet, they come to bed
Of chalk, which they bore with an anger
five feet deep, They then withdraw from
the pitbefore the augsris removed, and spau
its extraction, the water burst up through
the Aperture with great violence, and
quickly fills this newly made well, which
continues fall and is affected neitherby rains
nor droughts. But what is most remark.
able in.this operation is, the layers Of earth
a. we descend. A. the depth Of fourteen
feet are found the ruins of an ancient city,
paved streets, houses, floors, and different
pieces Of mosaic work. Under this is
found soft oozy earth, made up of vege
tables, and at 26 feet deep, large trees en-
tire, such as walnut trees, with the wal
nuts still sticking to the stem, and the
leaves and branches in perfee. state OF
preservation. At q feet deep, a soft chalk
is found, mixed with vast quantity of
shells, and this bed is eleven feet thick
Under this vegetables are found.
Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1859-03-31
Singular VIII.

An inbabi,ant of Montgaillard, who
died in 1922. left the following testament
ut is my will that any of my relations
who shall presume to shed tears at mq
burial shall be disinherited: he, on the
other hand who laughs most heartily,
shall be sole heir. l order that neither
the church nor my house shall be hung
with black cloth but that OF. the day OF
my burial the house and church shall be
decorated with flowers and green bouphs
Instead of the tolling Of bell, l will have
drums, ,lGddles, and 6fes. All the musicians
Of Montgaillard and its environs shall at
tend the funeral. Fifty Of them shall open
the procession with hunting tunes, waltze.
and minuets."
This singular will created tho more sur
prise, as the deceased had always beer
denominated by his family the Misan,hro
pc. on account Of his gloomy and reserv
ed character.
Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1859-03-31
slight Misrepresentation.

"a new tale for boys Just out" said
Mrs. Partington. as she read the announce.
meat in booksellers window, and she
smiled with the conceit that crossed her
mind. She looked at Ike, who was gazing
into tie window very wistfully at some
pictures. "How Go yoa thiak you would
like tail, dear ?" she asked, looking from
him 10 the placard on the window. He
gsinned at the question, and looking in the
same direction as herself, replied, First
rate" Though the word "tale' was le-
ultimately spelled, hor mind had accepted
it for caudIe s;gnfca,ion that rather
ran behind the booksellers meaning. Ike's
readiness to answer rather a'oined her.
and with an asaGnisd gravity sfs remark.
ed, "You wyu'i like 10 have & tail, would
you? Well, well, boys are so apt to act
like monkeys, that they may vast to look
like them" at is a story said Ike, who
saw through the mistake sle had made.
" Don't be impatient, Isaac" said she :;
never say anybody tel'sa story. because
its just as lad as saying they tell lie.
|: isn't good manners -" 1t is story
book that's just OUT" persisted the juve,
nile. " Why" responded she. 80 it i. !!
what mistake it was ! declare | be-
ievc | an losing my sensatio.s" She
moved onward, thinking what a queer
mistake she had made, and Ike amused
himself By moving on behind a big r.an,
i" vain erdeavor to keep up with bis
stride.
Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1859-03-31

so-hut if that can't be done. please say
SO, and l will trouble you no farther"
Mother, open the door, aud let the gen
,leman pass out he is undoubtedly crazy
said Mary.
"By thunder! I believe shall be il
remain here long, exclaimed the halter
somewhat excited. II wonder if folks nev
er do business in these parts, that you
think he is crazy if he attempts such n
thing"
Business! poor man." said Mary, sooth
ingly, approaching the door.
81 am not poor man Madam replied
the halter. my name is Walter Dibble ;
| carry on hating extensively in Daubury
| came to Grassy Plains to luyfur and
have purchased some "beaver" AMI 'coney'
and now it seems | am to be called crazy
and ''poor man" because | want to buy
little "Russa" to make up an assortment
The ladies began to open their eyes a
little. They saw that Mr.. Dibble was
! quite in earnest, and his explanation threw
considerable light on the subject.
"Who sen, you hcre?' asked sister Ma
ry.
The clerk at the store opposite was
the reply.
Gle is wicked young fellow for ma
King all this trouble" said the cd lady
"lle has been doing til; for joke,
she continued.
a joke!" exclaimed Dibble, in surprise
"Hayc you got any Russia then?
my name is Jerusha. aud so is nv
daughters. said Mrs. Wheeler, land tha,
suppose is what he meant by telling you
about Old anu young Russia"
Mr.. Dtbb'e bolled through the door with
out word OF explanation, and made di-
reclIv for our store. "You young scamp
said he. as he entered what did you mean
! by sending me over there to bay Russia p
II did not send you to buy Russia. ]
supposed YOU were either young man or
widowcr, and wanted to marry Russia"
! replied. with serious counteuance.
"Icu lie, you dog, and you know it, he
replied; "but never mind, III pay YOU Of
for that some day. And taking his furs
he departed, less humored than would
have been expected under ths cireumstan
ops
Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1859-03-31
Mr.. FUbbs and Mrs. Fubbs.

Fubbs, / want to talk to you while,
aud l want you to listen while do it.
You want to go to sleep, but don't; Pm
not Of the sleepy kind. It's good thing
for yoa Mr.. Fubbs, tha. you have a wife
who impar,s information by lectures, else
You would be q perfect ignoramus. Not
a thing about the house to read, except =
little bible that the Christian Association
gave you, and tract which that fellow
called Porter, left one day entitled Light
to the Heathen." It's we'll he left it, for
you're heather, Fnbbs: you may feel
thankful you amt a Mormon (! Yes, I
understand that insinuation too, you pro.
fame wretch! You mean you're glad you
haven, but one wife. You never would
have known there was Mormon, Mr..
Fubbs, if hadn't told you, cause you're
too stingy to take a paper. Now Fubbs,
! declare your nam. ought to be Fibs-
you tell SO many of EN-. It's only last
week lest dollar and halfon butter
| sod 10 n ! ed'ar, because didn't know
the market price. This would have paid
for the paper whole year. And then
you'ie 50 ignorant, Fubbs. Don't you re-
member when you took the gun and walk.
ed down to the big marsh a hunting, be-
cause some one said the Turkeys were
marchin, into Ru.hes? yes you did,
You ed.'t deny it, Fubbs. Didn't kill
any did youp
Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1859-03-31
A kansas Hero.

The Des Moines Statesman says tha,
Brown, of Kansas, reached Grnnell, ir
Poweshiek county, Iowa, on the 10Th O
February, with twevle negroes and sever.
sl horses stolen from Missouri. He offer
ed the horses for sale The oxen that he
carried off had all been sold. lie lectur.
ed at Grinnell on Saturday and Sunday
evenings; on the latter evening coliec.
tion was taken up to speed him on his
way. lie admittedthat his party had shot
a farmer in Missouri who refused to sur.
render.
The Reporter says, Brown "passed
through Iowa City at that hour when
rogues alone are supposed to be abroad,
and is now probably in Canada.
Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1859-03-31
4 Danbury Halter In search of Rus
sin Fur.

On one occasion a halter named Walter
| Dlbb'e, called to buy some furs Of u.s.
For certain reasons was anxious to play
a joke upon him. sold him several kinds
Of fur, including beaver ard "couev."
He waatad some "Russia.' | told him
we had none, but Mrs. Wheeler, where |
| boarded, had several hundred pounds.
What on Garth is woman doing with
Russia p he said.
| could not answer, but assured him
that there were 10 pounds of old Eushia
and $50 pounds Of young Rushin in Mrs
WheeIers house, and under her charge.
but whether il was for sale could no, say
Of he started with view to make a
purchase. He knocked at the door. Mr4
Wheeler, the elder, made her appearance.
81 want to get your Russia said tie
batter.
Mrs Wheeler asked him to walk in aud
be seated. She, Of course, supposed he
had come after her daughter, "Rushia.'
What do you wan'tot RusLia p ashed
the old lady.
10 make In S." was the repv.
IT. trim hats. suppose you mean" re
sponael Mrs. Wheeler,
"No-for the outside Of hats" replied
the ha.ter.
"Wcll don't know much about hats.
but ! will call my daughter" said the old
lady.
Passing into another room where Rush
ia, y the younger. was At work, she inform,
ed her that man wal ted to See her to
make hats.
@, he means sister Mary, probably. ]
suppose he wants some ladies' hats :" re-
piled Rushia, as she passed into the par
lor.
81 suppose YOU wish to see my sister
Mary; she is our milliner," said the young
Rushia.
Il wish to STE whoever owns the prop
erty,' said The halter.
Sister Mary was sent for and soon mad
her appearance. AS soon as she was in
troduce1, the batter informed her tina. lie
wished to buy her Russia
Buy Rushia" exclaimed Mary in sur.
prise q do,.'t understand YOU"
"Your rame Is Miss Wheeler, believe.
said the halter, who was annaved by the
difficulty he met with in being understood
at is, sir
"Ah very well. Is there old and
young Russia in the house.
81 believe there is. said Mary surpris.
spoke Of her mother and sister, 10Th o.
| whom were present,
"What is he price Of old Russia, per
pound p asked the halter.
Il bel.e.e, sir, that old Russia is not for
sale. replied Mary. Indignantly.
"Well, what do you ask Tor young Rus-
sia ~ pursued the halter.
"Sir,' said Miss Rushil, tho younger,
springing to her feet. do yon come here
TO insult defeaceless females? IF you do
we will soon call our brother who is in the
garden, and he will panish you as you de.
serve"
"Ladies y exclaimed the halter, in as-
tonishmcut, "what on earth have done
10 offend you? ] came here on basiness
matters | want 10 buy some Russia.
was told you had oil and young Russia
IN the house. Indeed, this young lady
Just stated such to be the fact, but she says
the old Russia is not for sale. Now, if |
can buy the young Russia want to do
Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1859-03-31

ried you that had obtained wife whose
virtues might help me upward to heaven,
but you have proved only a tempting fend
dragging me nearer and nearer the brink
Of destruction, and now fall to hopeless
ruin. have robbed the bank, but it was
for you"
Then turning to the officers he said in
calm voice:
Il am at you service"
The words Of her husband had stunned
Mrs. Blakely. She nev er saw him after
ward. That night he passed to his ac-
count before higher tribunal than an
earthly one and she was left in poverty
and disgrace.
The story is one Of everyday life
George Blakely is the representative of a
class. Not all Of them defraud their
employers. But all of them, 10 support
idle, extravagant wives in costly establish,
meuts-costly in comparison with their
means-spend more than their earnings
or profits, and fail to pay their just oblisa.
tions.
A modern young lady fashionable edu-
Gated, aud with modern rotons of style
fashion and domestic equipme nts, is alto
gether too costly an article for young
man of small means or moderate salary
Diamond Plus, rich silks, laces, rosewood
furniture, six, seven, eight, or nine hum
dred-doilar houses, operas balls, fashion
able parties, Saratoga and Newport, and
success in business, are altogether out of
the question. If young men would unite
the latter and matrimony, they must look
into another circle for wives. 4 girl who
is independent enough to earn her own
living as a teacher or with the needle is a
wife worth a score of such butterflies OF
fashion ; and a rising young man who has
ouly his industry to rest upon for success
in life, is a fool 10 marry any ether. Use
tul industry is always honorable, aud dlf-
ference Of sex makes no difference in thi;
particular.
Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1859-03-31

res> \ man down east has invented a
machine to rcnorate old bachelors. Out
Of good sized, fat, greasy Old bachelor,
he can row make qaite a decent young
man. AID have enough eft to make two
small puppies, pair Of leather brceehcs,
aud a small kettle Of soft s>ap.
Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1859-03-31
Fror, the Providence Gazette, 1922.
OLD GRIMES.


rusE-"Joha Ciipin ,ras Citizen"
Old Grimes Is dead, that good old man,
We ne'er shall see him more;
He used to wear long blue coat
All buttoned down before.
His heart was open as the day;
His feelings all were true;
His hair WAS some inclined to gray
lie Oore it in a queue.
When e'er was heard the voice Of pain,
His breast with pity burned
The large, round head, upon his cane,
From ivory was turned.
Thus,.ever prompt at PHYS call,
He knew no base design
His eyes were dark. and rather small;
His nose was aquiline.
II. lived at peace with all mankind,
In friendship he WAS true
His coat had pocket holes behind;
His pantaloons were blue.
Unhsrmed--the sin which earth polutes,
He passed securely Ger;
And never wore pair of boots
For thirty years or more.
But poor Old Grimes Is now at rest,
Nor fears misfortune's frown:
He had double-breasted vest
The stripes ran up and down.
His modest virtue sought to find,
And pay It its desert,
liz had no malice in his mind
No ruffles on his shirt.
His neighhors he did not abuse,
Was sociab'e and gay.
He wore large buckles on his shoes,
And changed them every day.
His knowledge, hid from public gate.
He did not bring in view;
Nor make noise town-meetins Gays,
As many people do.
His worldly goods he never throw,
In trust to fortunes chances;
But lived (as all his brothers do)
In easy circumstances.
Thus undisturbed by anxious cares,
Ills peaceful moments ran;
And every lody said he was
A fine old gentleman.
Good people all give cheerful thought
To Grimes's memory:
As doth his cousin. ESEE SHORT,
Who made this poetry.
Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1859-03-31

rsD- A Doctor up town gave the follow
ing prescription to sick lady, few days
ago: "A new bonnot, cashmere shaw
and pair Of gaiter boots!' The lady re,
covered Immediately.
Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1859-03-31

ca" GRAPE NINE-Grapa vines that
have not been prnnel shoali now be at
tended to- | deferred too late, the vines
will be injured by hleejiny. Let it be
remembered however. that the na,ive va,
rieies require much hess pruriaS than The
foreign. a. the fruit is rrodu--a on tn
wood OF 'he present years growth, four o.
five ewes should be lefs o. tn shoots OF
the last year to produce fruit bearing wood
Tor tie present.
Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1859-03-31

Moral F,suiNG -pions gentleman.-
My boy. my boy, you do very wrong to
fish on Sunday.
Bov.-It can, be no harm, sir,-l arnt
catphin n hoihin'.
Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1859-03-31

THE DEVIL AN IMAGINARY BErNG.--
Rev, Dr. bushnell, a distinguished or,ho-
d2x preacher in Hartford, Coma, repaii
ates the old idea Of the rers ,nality Of the
Devil. In pr Bushnells book, entitled
Nature and the Supernatural.
Satan, or the Devil. when taken il the
singular, is rot tie name Of any partica
lar person, neither is Il a persoaa,ion mere
ly Of temptation, or personal evil, but the
name is enc taken up by imagination to
designate, or emboly, ina conception the
mind can most easily WELD, the all or to,
tal of bad minds aud power
Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1859-03-31

gey- A "mant Weight has Just died
in New York. lis name was Asher \ i.
Skiliin.e. and lie weighed 6,s pounds
He wa. Jolly. coo!-naured man. and
made lis living II selling ii>h aud oysters.
lie was native Of Ma ne.
Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1859-03-31

1kB@ A man that marries widow is
bound to give up smoking and chesirg.-
If she gives up her weeds for him, be
should give up the weed for her.
Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1859-03-31
What London Dock Gin did for an
EGitor.

The editor Of the Logan tOL;o) Gazette
having been presented with bottle Of old
London Dock Gin, drank it and then at.
tempted to write paragraph Of thanks,
with this melancholy result:
In cor c'u.ion here's TO Fire Fountain
Company No. Some the BrossFountain
Belle Band, and the rest Of our home in
sutions and orG'zolions including the la
dies ard ether branches of business hicl
in and around town-and especially Mes
sident's Pressage, Nonnington Washu-
ment. &C.. ali of which may be had a. tn,
Buck Drook-Brook aud Dug store Of
Beningers Of old London Dock Gin, for
- year, if payment is delayed until the
end Of the Atlantic Cab'e.'
Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1859-03-31

rs.y" 4 letter ssrt to the post Office, in
Chicoaer, Mass, while since, was di.
roc'eA thus:
"Clirapce, y. V, State Of Mass, Canada,
North America And another. thus:
10 me husband Mr.. Paid with
three cent thing"
Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1859-03-31

gens- A laulce, toasting OF a visit he
had pail the Queen, clcnchod his remarks
by dcclaing: | should have beer in,
yiltd to stag to dinner, bu, twas washing
Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1859-03-31

Gay" A hotzy fellow was observed tie
other day driving a "porker,' holding on to
his tail, aud when asked what he was
doing replied that lie was studying &c hog
ronhv
Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1859-03-31

sfa- We heard man cal another man
an eXtor;ioner the olhcr day lor saine
him a day or two be .ora. "Hhy. trien4," ="
rcpied tie man mha nou.bt he su,t.
i did it 10 "t3sc YOU To oblls, me
in!eed-how = Why, 10 Oh ice you t.
pay me.
Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1859-03-31

sEr An eminent spirit merchant IN
Duhlin. announces in al Irish paper, that
b. has still small quantity Of the whiskey
on hand which was drank ty George Nv.
vhi,a in Dublin
Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1859-03-31

TIE DEATH NATCn.-This name evi.
IDENTITY has its origin from dark and SUI
pers',ious times. 1t is nothing more or
less than diminutive beetle. the little
creature that perfora,es the round holes
in the worm eaten furniture and wood.
work. The ticking" says an eminent
naturalist, "is rroduced by striking its
head against the wood in the progress of
these perforations; and yet how often has
it struck terror in the minds Of the atten-
dans of the sick, and. from communica-
ting the omen to the patient, the skill Of
the physician has been completely haflst!!
Even yet, in isolated rural districts, the be.
lief tha, it is the harbinger Of death re.
mains uushaken.
Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1859-03-31

k.vv" Happy is the man whose circum.
stances suit his temper; but he is happier
who can suit his temper to his circumstan.
ces.
Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1859-03-31

rsa- Sam, why am lawyers like do
fishes - 81 don't meddle wild dat sub
jec,, Pamp.' "Why. don't you see, mig.
ger, kase aev am SO fond oh debate
Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1859-03-31

By l.. McLANE has been appointed
Minister to Mexico, and departed for the
scene OF his lahors on the 9th.
Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1859-03-31

rGs- Mynheer Drinhenof makes dis.
,inction thus: "Too much whiskcy is too
much but too much lager beer is shoost
right
Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1859-03-31
Pixies Peak II HUM bug.

I Aman calling himself Mr.. Ross, appoint
ID Friday evening in havcr port. 10 deliv
er lecture On Pixies Peak. The News
says:
At the heur appointed, tie veoI le
commenced tloekins in 10 h ar all about
gold mines at Pike 5 Peak, from on, who
| had been there. \ man with n false
! moustache and hat down over his ewes,
took ia the quarters at the door. At any
rate b. took IN the audience. For. afitr
waiting patiently for Mr.. Ross anl his
eteqnenc", for some time, inluisitive per.
sons went out to see the cause OF tie 3e-
lay. When 10 the doorkecper, having
made his haul, bad "scoUted, and was
now here 10 be f1nnd. Ross must have
convinced his aud .nenco that either him
self or Pixies Peak was n hambug.
A SOLEMN JokE.-"BiIl, I've been deal
ing in real estate little, lately
well john, how much have you dpp
ed in ~
bought lot in the cemetery, and n
half acre for residence lot just north Of
iit!7
| "Just north what in the deuce did you
20 so far north for? Going to live there
Yes, Bill, wanted home beyond the
gracc.'
Bill looked solemn. and both vanished
whistlng melancholy air.
Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1859-03-31

Hen- None o. your sauce as the boy
said TO the crab apple.
Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1859-03-31

f7y. Ir Eve and half yards make ono
pole, how many will it take 10 make ono
loy7
Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1859-03-31

L pom the bank Of dark river, yhar the
gol in bar' was laid, there lives a pcart
AVID purity wid lor, in a house of sawed
boards made :; at baking do, ,crs shoes n
shorter. keeps her cabin mighty clean.
smiles on mea as widrrs urtcr. Tin
when they're crGul mean; her chjlrcns ar
tw" iamsum critters, sweoter than the
sweetest truck, that rich folks use to cat
on !rircrs. when tha has thar best che
muck; she is morrc. than a preachers.
more dgaii!er than a queen, II, mochin
bird can ever retch her in singing, that
ever seen on the bnaks If Cherry river,
whar the miners dig the dust, shee's stole
my heart-,he fair Young willer-no~
I'm bound to marcy her o bust"
Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1859-03-31

&C. They have smart boys down in AL.
bany. One of them. a pupil in one of the
city schools, got of a pleasant little couceit
in rhyme, the other dav. as follows:
Tha moon setting in n cloud,
EulI fefged in snlien light
A l3tchnE out the title StArs,
The chickens Of the !t4sti+.
ru' Ont # MI that brilliant brood,
prgIsrei hy Iu-a pale.
Thee was hut one po1r little chick
That could produce a tail.
New Orleans daily crescent. [volume] ([New Orleans, La.]) 1851-1866, 1859-03-17
D o m stic IntelIigen c g.

BATON ROUGE, March l6.-The following bills were
called up in the Senate last night:
Mr. Adams called up the bill authorizing John
Henry Fhrman, Of New Orleans, to adopt Pauline
Pellot, which was passed.
Mr.. Chew called up the bill incorporating the Gre
ole Eire Company No. 9, which was passed.
Mr.. Ducros called up the bill to reclaim the swamp
lands in the parish Of St. John the Baptist, which
was passed.
Mr. Hyams calledup the bill supplementary to an act
for draining eveeng and reclaming lands in certain
portions OF Orleans and Jefferson parishes, which
passed.
Mr. Kidd called up the bill to limit the jurisdiction
of the Supreme Court under article 81 of the Cons
tuition of the State. The bill was lost.
Mr. Ladlaw called up the bill to incorporate the
Washington Fire Company No. 20 of New Orleans,
which was passed.
Mr. Locoul called up the bill to reclaim lands in the
parish of st. John Baptist on the left bank Of thu
Mississippi, which was passed.
Mr. Pellerin called up the i'll for the better protec