The Tiffin weekly tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1859-1868, 1859-07-22
ODDS AND xNDs


Mr. -----., coming home QUO night froui.
'meetin', was met 0t the door BY his Witei
Pretty time Of night, Mr.. -, for
you to come hoihe-4ptetty time, 3 o'clock
in the morning; you, restsotabie man III
community, and father Of familyr
"Vaint threea4-its only ose. I heard
Il strike. Council always siia till one
/ o'clock
MY soull M. --a-, you're drunk -
IT'S three in the morningi
II say, mrs. ------.-i itis one. heasf
it strike one, as came around the corner,
two or three timesp 3.f FhLtIlW
One Of the readiest replies Wo hdya
heard lately was made By an Irishman--
! A gentleman travelling on horseback.
down East, came upon an Trithnisn who
was fencing in most barren and desc.
late piece Of land, lr|
What are you fencing In that lot forS
Patr said he; a herd Of cows would starvo
TO death on that land iN7
And sure, yer honor, wusn't fenginN
tito keep the poor bastes out Of iti'
The Rev. Bfr. --, an eccentric bf6aebs
Ter in Michigan, wag holding forth not lone
since In Detroit. A young man arose 10
lgo out, when the pFeachef aaids Young
man, IL you'd rather 20 to he'll than hear,
me preach, you may qop The sinner.
stopped and reflected a moment, and say
ing, respectfully, Wen, I believe would
went on.
An honest son Of Erin, green from his
) poregrinations, put his head into law
yer's Office, aud asked the inmate;
AN what do you sell herei
q - 4
law. -'.-'---,,.. -,
Och, thin, to be sure said Pat, IL must
be q good trade, for see there is but one
Of them loft
A young man In New York advertised
for wife. In less than two hours, we
are told, eighteen married men sent in
word that he might have theirs.
A witty rogte, brought before Paris!
: ian tribunal for drunken roit, oae dav,
, assured the Bench that he was not a
4 drunkardi but in childhood he was bitten
= by msd dog, and ever since had horror
{ OF water.
4 sailor being asked how he liked his
= bride, Is reported 70 have remarked thus.
why dye sec, only took her to be half
OF me, as The parson soysI but shiver my
timbers, If she amt twice as much as me-
, I'm only tar---she's tartar.
/, A lawyer in Lowell, having found eos,
! and returned tho money to the over, ono
+ OF tho papers says, the act may he honest
4 and honrOble, but Il is exceedingly unpro-
1 lessional.
a MIR. jenkins will il suit you to settle
that old account of yoursl NO, Sir; you
l are mistaken in the man, am not ono
of the old settlers
'See here Grips, understand you have
. q superior way Of curing hams. / should
, like to learn IT, We'll, yesj know
I very well how 70 cure them; but the trou-
: bio with me, just now, is TO find out way
: 70 procure them 1 fr M
|. A Coon JoKr-sAm Housr1N BAptY
n 'CoRHED. I'VE wore told story the
: other day, which is too good to keep
Q Hon. Sam Houston during visit TO Ohio
70 last summer, stopped a short timeswith
e our friend j. H of Salem, ColumbionA
county. H., as all who know him will
bear witness, is one Of the most jovial aud
genial of mon, and relishes a little sport
now end them as well ae the next man
and tells tho story with great gusto.
10 During his visit, Houston noticed one
y day upon che dinner-table somo very temp
N ting looking green corn, boiled in the ear,
n i being in the season Of that luxury, and
~ helped himself quite freely. Aitor hav.
= ing literally 'lubricated' the steaming, lus-
n oious 'roaster' with butter he looked for
i some salt, and niistaklng dish Of pulver-
o ized white sugar near him for the article
c in question, he dipped into il, and apply.
ing t1p-dressing Of il TO the corn, pro-
y ccoded to indulge The host, not know
8 ing but II might be a fancy of his guest
!. to eat sugar on bis corn, said nothing
= Sam tasted the corn, and evidently fail-
u ing to procure any effect from the sali,
put on another layer, remarking at the
d same time that the corn was very s.oeetl
. Alter applying the second coat, the dis
tinguiahed friend tried il again. 10
6 i say friend H. said Houston, this
= % extraordinary corn for sl0eei eineSsj il must
i be peculiar variety; what do you call itf'
H. replied that il was quito common
in this part Of the country snd he did NOT
. know any particular name for III Il was,
: however, a species Of sloset corn.
d Yes said Houston, all the time 1et-
: ting i'm to the supposed salt, tas Widow
\ Bedott would say,) tit Is sweet, cxuaor-
dlnarg sweet never saw any thing like Il,
y upon my word, i is wonderful Tellyou
i what, H., you must let me have some of
o that corn / should like to introduceit
on my plantation In Texas. 91u sdt
There was good deal Of choking and
; Coughing about that time around the table,
+ and several exhibited alarming symtoms
: Of strlngulationj H. turning black and
blue IN the FACE, while politely attending
to the remarks Of his guest 'setaI
Houston kopt on in blissfh Ignorance
Of the fun plling on the sdlt and expatia-
, ting Upon die wond rfnl sweetness Of tho
! corn, and when he left, actually carried
off pocket full Of thc'extfaordinbry cora
) for sesal He will doubtless bemnoh die
, appointed in his now yarieiH and make
many philosopical reflections upon the in
7 hdenco Of elimate upon Indian corn
i CleUslaad Leader.
How TO TREAT A WHE. Mrs Hale'g
/, recipe on this subject is brief and 70 the
point. She says; @frat geta wife; second
DC PATIENT l
Senator cAmERoH, Of Pennsylvania,
4 .f..t..