Mountain Democrat. [volume] (Placerville, El Dorado Co., Cal.) 1854-1860, 1859-05-14
how Ban Purtls Got Hin VIE.


neighb0r. HIS face was freckled as the most
bespotted turkey egg. His nose supported at
the bridge, a large lump, while the end turned
viciously to one side. His mouth had every
shape but pretty shape. His form was un.
couth as his face was ugly. The very climax
of uglincSs Was Ben Purtle-what was more
still, Ben had handsome, bouncing, bloom
ing wife-such as can only be grown upon q
country Earm. .
"HOws the deuce" said to Ben one day,
did you ever get such wife, you uncouth,
mishapSn, quinteSsence Of monstrOSityY"
Ben was not at all Offendeded by the imper.
tinence Of my question, and forthwith began
to solve the mystery thus:
We'll, now gals what's sensible ain't cotch-
ed by none Of your purity and hifalutin airs.
I've seed that tried mOre'n once. You know
Katy was alters considerable the purtiest gal
in these parts and all the young fellers in the
nabOrhOOd used to try to cOtch her. Well,
used to go over to old Snmmy's too, just TO
kinder look on you know and cast sleeps
eyes at Kate. But Lord sakes! had no
more thought that could get Kate than
Jerusalem cricket could hide in the hair that
wasn't on old Sammy's bald hcad.-no stree.
But still, ] couldn't help going an my heart
would kinder fluttcr, and my eyes would burn
all over, whenever I'd 60 to talk to Kate
And one day xhcn Kate sorter made fun of
me like, it almost killed ne sure, went home
with something like rock joStling about in
my breast and swOrO I'd hang myself with
the first plOw line found"
"Did you hang yoursclf!"
"No, daddy blaScd out to me for not taking
old Ball 10 the pasture in the morning aud
scared me so bad IfOfgot it,"
"Go on" said ]. seeing Ben pause with Mp.
parent regret that he had not executed his
vow.
"Wcll, soon on Sunday morning. reckon
it was about year after that hanging-l got
up and scraprd my face with daddy'S old ra
z0r and put on my new cOppruS britchcs aud
new linScy coat nanny had dyed with Sas.
safras bark, and went over to uncle Sammy'S.
Now, I'd got to loving Kate like all creation,
but Inever spoke to anybody about my feel
ings. But | knowcd was on the right side
of the old folks.
=" Well, now, amt II quor," continued Ben.
after slight pause, during which he rolled his
quid to q more convenient place in his mouth,
show fellow will feel sometimes? Some
thing seemed to say aS went along, Ben Pur.
tic, this is great day for you, and then my
heart jumped and Anttcrcd like jay bird in
trap. And when got there and seed Katc
with her new checked homespun frOck on, |
rally thought should take the blind staggcrs
anyhow"
Ben paused again to brush the fog from his
eyes and then continued:
"Well, found the order Of the day was to
gO muscadine hunting. Joe Sharp and his
two sisters and Jim Bowlcs was thar. I'd
knowed long time that Joe Sharp was right
r.. H. Al Z
hates to find the way out OF later patch; but
didn't let on. Sharp had on white britches
and finc shoes, and broadclOth coat, bHt every
knOwcd he wasn't worth red cent. He walk.
ed with Kate and you ought to seen the airs
he put on. 1t was Miss Kate this and Miss
Kate that, and all such nonsense. After q
cross on o log, and I'd q notion to pitch the
sassy good for nothing into the water"
."Why didn't yOWy" asked, gympathixing
with the narrator.
"Stop, never mind" said Ben, giving me a
nudge. providence done that all up brown.
Nothing must do but Joe Sharp must lead
Miss Kate across fust. He jumped on the log
in high glec and took Kate's hand and off they
put. just as they had got half way across .
tarnatiOn big bull frog jumped off in the wa
tcr-you know they holler- "Snakcsy" scream.
cd the blasted fool and knocked Kate of up
to waist in the nasty, black, muddy water
And what dye think he done? Why run
packard and loreds hollerin for n pole to
help Kate out Of the water. Kate looked at
me and couldn't stand it no longer. Cure.
huck lit ten feet from the bank at the first
jump and got Kate out Of thar in no time
And dye think the scamp didn't como up af
ter we'dI got out and said: "Ar you hurt
Miss Kate ~ ss-i l. 4-...-. -, Ia L.
My,dandCr Was up. / cOul.l't stand Il, /
cotch, him by the seat Of hiS wite britehes
and his coat collar and gin tosR May be he
didn't go clear under when he hit the water.
didn't see him out Me and Kate put for
the house. When we started on Kate said:
"Dcn jist let me hold on to your arm my
knees feel ter weak.
"Gcpcat Jrmimy! felt SO quar- when
she tuck hold. tried to say something nice
but,my drOtted mouth would not 60 off no
how. But felt Us strong as an elephant, and
helped Kate along. Bimby Kate said
"Ben, that Joe Sharp's good for nothing,
snCaking, cowardly nobody if he ever puts
his head inside Of our house again Ill s0use
him with dishwatcr sure"
az tried to say something again, but cuss
the luck. couldn't say nothing, but squeezed
KNtc's hand and sighed like cranky 6ellus.
We'd got clean out Of sight Of the others,
Rnd Kate says ~
"Ben, feel that you're my protector. and
believe daddy's right when he says you're
worth all the rest Of the boys in the nabOr
hood" .is4.,. .-Il
"Bcn Purtle," says I, "this is q great day
for you," and made q tremendous effort {
get my mouth off again, and out it poppcC
sure enough:
"Katc," says Z trembling an over, az Iov,
you to distraction, and no mistake. I've lovet
you long and hard. My hcatt'E been alm0s
brCisoO for two years; and I'want you 10 sAN
right straight up aud down, whether you're
going to have tne orlnOt." ~. y.
Kate hung dOwn her head and didn't sAy
nothing, but frls encouraged. fSr she kinde
sighed. Says l, ''Kate, sf you're gwinO t
have me, say 50, and IF you don't want to 50,
so, jist squeeze my hand" .s-.--.. A.. -
swell she squeezed my hand right off,
Lordy, how ! did feel. J. felt as IL q stream Q
warm water or sassafFac tee sweetened n ii
mOlasses, was rUnniRg through my bones
and jist cOtch her in my arms, and Eissacal be
/ right In the mouth and she never tried ,th
first time to get loose" ....-.-. .....'-..,t
Ben was so overcome with this narration {
his c0UrtshiP, thata pause for breath was NJ
cessaFy.
q. How long after that" said I, before 20
J wkre Inat4iedf" t"- "a. --
: "0ld Sammy WIS mighty proud, end !
was. the old oman, SBoGt the thing, and "
utdrTicd next fsil aiter the viieiscadiNO scFSpe