Raftsman's journal. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1854-1948, 1859-10-05

pushing NE lrantlcaily from neT-Der spring
ing away and my chasing her-her cries of af-
fright-fnally her locking herself in her room,
which made fIutless attempts to enter, then
my leaving the house with all the doors open,
and then comes blank.
ssThe next morning dawned upon me in the
chamber OF friend. AS looked up with ach-
ing brain, noble face bent over me-the face
of one who had been fellow collegian, and
who was studying then for the ministry. L
asked feebly where | was.''
'5Horace and l found you PROSTATE in the
street, few rods from here. You were utter
ly helpless. We lifted you against your ost
impotent struggles; You cursed us with every
breath, but we finally brought YOU here, and
here you have slept till now. 1t wants quar-
ter of eleven. | closed the blinds that you
might sleep it off,
ssI did not ask what he meant by it. / was
ashamed too much ashamed to look at him.
hinted at the effects OF southern fever, but
from under my nearly closed lids saw some
thing like sneer on bis face. He sat down
by my bedside, and he plead with me for an
hour. For Gods sake he besought me to
break from this ruinous habit. He held up
the very flame of hell till 1 shuddered. Then
he spoke of Annette, and l knew by the tre-
NOR of his lips, the huskiness of his voice,
that lie too loy ed my darling. i had suspect
ed it before, but now | was certain, and it
reused the widest feelings of jealousy. Mad
ly boasted OF her unconquerable attachment,
fool that l was, With a coarse, unskilfnl
hand | barred his own heart to his view, till he
shrank from ME in agony. Then / arose, for
getting all gratitude for his great favor in
bearing me, senseless, disgusting as | was,
from the clutches of the police or watchman
saving me the shame of opening my eyes in
the station-house, and having my name bruited
about in the public prints.
81 went to the dwelling of Annette. was
l,, oI,1 t,,,
On lounge, her cheeks colorless death,
her large eyes shining fitfully and looking as
If they had never closed in sleep. AS l bent
over her, she said softly
"PleaSe don't come so near me, Mr.. Ising-
ton; am ill.''
81 started at that as if had been shot.
Mr.. Isington!' l repeated my own name,
looking at her with a wondering glance.
'sUn: could DerTeyc Ifos y on, hut
some other,'' she said signing in weary way
and shutting her eyes tightly. tho' not as to
prevent the tears that would ooze through.
s'What can you mean % l asked and my
look of extreme credulity must have aston
ished her.
go, Richard, Richard, you do not know
what you said last night" she cried convul
sively, passonately. You dont-you can't
know what you did. o, Richard. the very re-
collection craZes me. Don't come near me !;
indeed, L can't bear it. The recollection
On lerrlOle, terrible
''For Gods sake, Annette, what did say /?
What did do? Tell me, that may ask your
pardon on my knees, aud then 1 will leave you
forever
SO, Richard, Richard,'' she moaned. Then
she caught my hand with impulsive tender
ness, drew me towards her, laid her head on my
arm, as she said in tone that haunts me still :
81 will tell you little, and then you must
go. 1t will be best for both of us, Richard
m m hrna nv ri hr,f
would be broken some time, you know. Rich
ard, j cannot say in words what you said to
me. No, it would kill me TO hear them. o |
l never thought this would happcn-after all
have sad-all | have felt for you- Richard
you revealed some horrible things to me. o.
were you so wicked in that foreign country
Did you love and deceive that poor Spanish
girl? o, God help you, poor Richard God
help you if you did,
81 sat s,upefied-pale with horror. She
looked once in my face, and shuddered, as she
said brokenly: Il could forgive all but that
I felt like condemned criminal. For a
while | sat there struggling for voice, and
then 1 told her that, however wicked had
been, had never deceived woman.
go, l AM so glad! !" she said, sinking
from my arm to the pillow of the lounge.
But, Richard, how can / forget last night.
Don't get down to me in that way. / know
now-I knew then you were not yourself and
for that reason, because you will not conquer
that fatal habit, we must part. Don't say an
other word, my dear; weak and yielding as
seem, can be firm. Remember that your own
band has thrown the cup from your lips. l
have tried to believe-her voice grew broken
and sobbing--sI have tried so hard to believe
that you were everything good and worthy.
You don't know how I have ldolzed you
looking on you as the saviour of my life. That
is what have said so often when they reason
ed with me-'Father, he saved the life of your
child. How can l help loving him !? o, yes,
they all knew it, every body knew how loved
you. never took pains to conceal it; but
now-now-I must
ssI walked that floor in anguish of body and
spirit. Then | went to her and said:
ssAnnette, you love that canting George
Herick better than you do me. DON'T dissem-
ble-I know it all-know what he THINKS OF
you, the hypocrIte 20
ssI had lashed myself into fury that was
not to be Gained by her gentle repetition of
my name, her pleading looks.
eyes, it must be so. If you loved me, you
would overlook what happened when was not
myself. Little things like that would not
cause you to dismiss me.'
ssLittle things!' she repeated, with re-
proachful look. sRichard, if you knew what
you said last night, how you insulted me, you
would never look me in the face again"
ssFarewell then, forever" almost howled,
and seized my hat to go l know not where.
esRichard, just one word more"
ssIf death had been the penalty, could not
have resisted that plaintive appeal. She held
forth her arms. pulled me down again beside
her, and sobbed on my neck as if her heart
would burst. Again and again she essayed to
speak, and again fresh tears and choking sobs
followed / was almost dying with shame, and
the hot tears pressed to my burning eyeballs,
but l bit my lips and kept them back. My
whole frame was shaken, but not alone with
anguish. There was scene held up before
nv soul-a black, disgraceful scene."
I1nnlr To say dear Dick, she gasped forth