The Yazoo Democrat., 1859-12-03
UOGQISH

Ni'O hluutes ago we nhu duouI 40 AuN" A"S- -
writing this nonsense as we had of starting imme-
diately on voyage to the moon. Still, we were
going to write something, but we didn't know
what
On going into our back yard just now, we dis
covered something less than a dozen porksrs
industriously engaged in roofing up the premises.
This is not the first time, either, that our premises
has been the seat Of their depredations notwith-
standing in the number alluded to we saw some
on whose bacon, by smashing brickbats we had
several times nearly dislocaed our shoulder joint
Indeed, the annoyance is of old standing, and
"cussing" has failed to afford us relief, for, to
this circumstance our readers are indebted for
this production, because we are bound to blow off
steam or 'busth
We do not remember what Natural Historians
say in relation to the animal under consideration,
but to make the matter as clear as possible, we
shall divide the genus Hog into two grand species
The following represents our classification
1st. Porous Quadrupeda.
I'd Porous Bipeda.
The distinguishing feature of the two species is
that one has four legs and the other but two.
Hence the appropriateness of the names by which
we distinguish the two. This division has been
popuIarly recognized from time almost immemo-
rial and its utility is at once evident. We have
deemed this division necessary, because our re-
marks are intended to apply exclusively to the
four legged hog and we assure the reader that
We do not seek to cast any reflections upon the
unfortunate animal that has but two
The common Hog (Porcus Quadrupcda) is in
some respects wonderful ANIMAL and in every
respect n-f0undcd rascal. (We don't think this
opinion has ever been advanced before. and
therefore claim it as Originally lie is wonderful
in respect Se' his muzzle-vulgarly called saout--
which comprises most Of his stock in trade It is
undoubtedly marvellous piece of mechanism.
and as one evncng Design, is hardly surpassed
by the Human Hand.
His rascality is papable in all his acts, and he
seems entirely incapable of eultiyatipg nm honest
motive. Moreover, he is the contraricst animal
that ever breathed, notwithstanding this quality
has been oluimed for one with Longer ears. Turn
him into corn field to fatten, and he'll break out.
Try to stop him out of a corn field, and he'll
break in in spite of the devil. lie always goes
contrary to your wishes. If you wanted to keep
him in your yard, you couldn't if you wanted
him to stay out, he wouldn't to save your life
WheseFeg he sets his mind on an object nothing
can turn him from it. He'll work for days to-
gether at paling, and Notwithstanding you may
dog him, brickbat him, and the like he returns to
his work with renewed energy. Perhaps when
you are not expecting it, the first thing you know
he's inside. Sometimes he goes over fence,
sometimes through it, and sometimes under it. !
One way or another, however, if he fakes a notion
he's bound to go, and you just might as well let
him in. The only way to get rid of him, under
such circumstances, is either to kill him, or shut
lim up inside; in the latter case he'll soon break
rat.
The hogs of Yazoo City, more especially, are
perfect adopts in all kinds of n ean1ess Out of
'ure de13ment they take up the bricks in the
pavement faster than the Council can have them
aid down. And il is so pleasant for fellow to
oosen his toe-nails against these byicks Of dark
light, as they are lying loose upon the sidewalk
hey make noises. too, compared to which band
f Chinese gongs would be harmonious.
Once upon time the city had a hog Inv, and
IL in town were taken up. But bv some kind of
'ree Masonry or other the news spread to the
ountry, and hogs came pouring in from miles
round. The more were taken up the more
anne, and so the thing was dropped
The past season has seen a herd one for them.
nd many have died. We don't think they are
yer killed here for ordinary purposes, and very
ew are killed by accident In fact they are so
ear being "bomb proof that they don't mind
luch being run over by wagon with ten bales
cotton on it, and as for being brickbatted, we
eally believe they like it. They seem to be kept
Inost exclusively for ornament BY our citizens,
nd from lack of proper attention they have
'adually decreased in number, until we dent
link there are more than three thousand head
# in town.