The daily press. (Cincinnati [Ohio) 1859-1859, 1859-06-28
A Midnight Serenade and its Conse-
NMhnCes.


John Jones is an injured man--at least the
individual whom, in our discretionary caution,
we have designated by that namc-for John
threatens us with vengeance dire should we
reveal his true cognomen. Being naturally Of
a timid temperament, and having no intense
prediction to have our head punched some
dark night, or rather morning, as We are wend-
ing our way from the Office to our domestic
tabernacle, we refrain from giving his true
appellation. We repeat, however, with en-
phasis, that John Jones is an injured man.
John, like Giles Scroggins, courted Molly
Brown, Fifth-street milliner; who, although
not rich in personal beauty, was and is yet, the
pOssessor of thousand golden charms, safely
deposited in the strong box of one of our city
banks. This, together with her doing snug
little business in the way of ribbons and Grin.
oline, made her an object as precious in John's
eyes as Miss Kilmansegg with her golden leg
What cared John if unseemly freckles marred
the beauty of his dulciaea, when he could
count golden dollar for every blotch And
if malicious people would persist in calling her
head red, was not her fortune golden?
Jones determining to conquer success, went
in and got squeezed. In corroboraton of this
fact we have tho reliable testimony of Miss
Tabitha McScrubb, a neighbor and rival ira des-
woman to the impressibo Molly, and who most
| positively afirms that on a certain night she
peeped through the blinds intended to curtain
Molly's apartments from tho vulgar gaze, and
"saw," to quote her own choice language, J
"the vile baggage actooaly huggin' and
kissin' of him." This, Tabitha asserts, with
eyes of the most voluminous rotundity, and
with that emphasis so peculiar to maidens Of
an uncertain age, whose feelinks hRvo been
shocked by "goin's on so soandalous."
John, for many months, thus basked in the
sunshine of his charmers affections. But, Ito
use an entirely original expression, and for
which we intend at some future time to take
out copy-right)-
| "The course of true love never did run smooth
Jones found this aphorism to be none the
less an axiom-and that his affections had been
supplanted by certain dealer in beef and
bolognas who had q stand in market and
travelled on his muscle. Jones was disconso-
late - deeply, dircfully, dismally, dreadftlly
disconsolate,-as our neighbor Of the Enquirer
would say-but, damning despair, he devised
an expedient to retrieve his fallen fortunes.
He suddenly bethought him to invoke the
heavenly aid, and in soul-stirring and pathetic
notes, to syllable in song his undying love for
the tickle Molly. Prompt to act, we find our
hero on the very night of his determination
vending his way along the street on which hi.
charmer was domiciled, and bearing on his per.
son the entire instruments of a well appointed
brass and field band. Arriving athis destination,
Jones deposited his instruments within convent
ent reach, and assuming an Appolonian attitude
he seizeda guitar,and after ortprelude began
the Serenade from Don Pasquale. The only
living being who seemed to be entranced by
his melody was libertine cat, who paused in
his peregrinations on neighboring roof and
meaw'd very respectable obligatO. Within
the house, however, all was as silent as the
tomb; but Jones had studied the classics, and
exclaiming MI despsrandum! !'' he elevated
trombone and blew blast that would have
awakened Rip Van Winkle.
but sui the window OF his ducinea was to
all appearances Theoretically sealed, and no
signs of life within the house were visible
Jones then fell back upon his last resort, and
executed reveille upon snare drum that
would have put the Infant Drummer to tho
blush-but
1.-THE best laid schemes o. mice and men
Gang aft aglee." ....
Just as he was performing formidable roll, he
felt himself clasped in the sturdy arms of
guardian of the night, and heard rough voice
exclaiming: "MOve on to the watch house."
Jones did just what any other individual, who
could not help it, would have done. He did
move on, and in less time than we could relate
it, was under lock and key. Hero we leave
him, sadder, if not a wiser man.
- D.. ....