Western Reserve chronicle. [volume] (Warren, Ohio) 1855-1921, 1858-04-28
ROMANCE OF REAL LIFE.

ROMANCE OF REAL LIFE.
There was a fiae cid General once,
who. having spent most of his lie in the
field Of Mars. In, W very little about the
camp of Cupid. He was enc of those
rough and honest spirits often met with
in his gallant profession: innocent as an
infant in almost everything save high
integrity and indomitable bravery. He
was nearly fifty years old, asd his tolls
were over, when master Dan made him
acquainted with widow Wsdmau, in
whose eye he began to detect something
that made him begin to feel uneasy
Here vas the result of leisure. -
At length, however, the blunt honesty
of his disposition rose uppermost among
his conflicting plans and his course was
chosen. At school he had once studied
"OthellC's Defence" 10 recite at an exhi-
biiion. but made failure; be now recol-
lected that there was something in this
defence TO reeite, very much like what
he wanted TO say. He got the book i'm
mediately, found the passage, clapped
on his hat, with determined air, and
posted off 10 the widow Wadman's with
Shakespeare under his arm
"Madame." said the General Uncle
Toby. opening his book at the marked
place, with the solempity of special
pleader at the Madame
'.Rude am 1 in ny speech.
And little bless'd with the set phrase Of peace
For since these of niue had years pith,
Till now some nine moons waters. they have used
Their dearest actions in the tented field;
And little of this great work speak,
More than pertains to feats Of broil and battle,
And therefore,
Here the General closed The book,
wiped his forehead. looked up at the cell
ing, and said with spasmodic gasp. Il
want to get married"
The widow laughed ten minutes by the
watch before she could utter a syllable,
and then she said, with precious tears of
humor rolling down her good natured
cheeks, land who is it you want to mar.
ry. General %
''You," said Uucle Toby, lourishing
his sword arm in the air, and assuming
military attitude before the widow i'm
melialely.
"Wili you kill me if 1 marry you ?"
said the widow with merry twinkle of
the'eye.
No, madam p replied Uncle Toby.
in a most serious and deprecating tore.
as il 10 assure her that such an idea had
never entered lis head.
"Well. then. l guess I'll marry you."
said Ike widow.
"Thank you, ma'am." said Uncle
Toby; ''but one thing am bound to til
yOu-I wear wig r'
The widow started, remained silent a
and then went into longer, /
louder and merrier laugh than she had
INDUCED in before, at The end of which I
she drew her seat nearer % the General, !
gravely laid her hand upon his head, !
gently lifted his wig off and placed it on
the table
General Uncle Toby had never known
fear in hot battle, but he now felt a
decisive incli:ation to run away. The /
widow laughed again as though she :
never would stop. and the General was
about to lay his hat upon his denuded /
head and bolt, when the facetious lady
placed her hand upon upon his arm and
detained him. She then deliberately
raised the other hand to her head, with
a sort of military precision, executed a
rapid maueuvIe with her five fingers,
pulled off her whole head OF fine glossy
hair, and placing it upon the table by the
ide of the Generals, remained seated
with ludicious gravity, in front of her
accepted lover, quite bald!
AS may be expected, Uncle Toby now
aughed along with the widow, and they
loon grew so merry over the affair, that
ne maid servant peeped through the
iey-hcle at the noise, and saw the couple
iancIng a jig and bobbing their bald
'ates at each other like pair of Chinese
nandarins. So the two very shortly
aid their heads together on the pillow of
natrimoDy.