The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1858-12-09
VARIETY.

p, .tssrful but not light; solid, but not sad.
!, YANKEE. according to the latest authority, is
. .. He sees the acqueducts in bubbling
- buiLiings in stones, and cash in every
ing
!, .-,,,isb caniilate coming in the course of his
-. to a tailors shop" What we look for here, "
Il be are measures, not men,
I, d. ali bachelor says that if young lady has n
=, nth two ends-silver in one, and gold in the
Ie--she Is sure to open the gold end first.
), Illinois paper says there has been an immense
I = rbiskv since the commencement of the Douglas
-.;-n There may have been rise of the
E.s bgt We guess there has been a going down of
,-t;eie itseli.-PreHfice-
Z friend. who had married lady who was on
Int Of taking the veil, Jerrold said, "Ah she
| [,s,,Iv thought you better than nun 80
/. I,bnson has left it on record, that as he was
=, ~ a fshmonger who skinning an eel
: 5s heard him curse il because it would not lie
ozsr. whose only desire is to take long and TO
r., xsIks beneath the moon, are not long in dis
In. after marriage that they cannot subsist ON
cnshIe-
i .r,e Yankee in Kansas sells liquor in gun bar
i1s,s,d Of glass, that he may avoid the law, and
IL Il apyear beyond dispute that he sells liquor by
J barrel
l. i,te speech, Lucy Stone said, .We know
T. 4 cotton in the ears of men, Let us look for
4 in the bosoms of women" May you not find
| f1a where you look for hope, Lucy,'
H.. Cd are you - said magistrate to a Ger
Eho was arraigned before him..
4 an dirty"
! How old Is your wife 20
! Vine xifeis dirty-two.''
Then. sir, you are very dirty coupleRnd wish
Ave nothing further TO do with either of you"
Is Coop SPrRrTs-When the body of the illustri-
hero Of Trafalgar put into cask Of spirits to
transported to old England, tie bung accidentally
out and one of his Lordship's fingers made its ap
rance at the opening. seaman who had for
b. years served in the Admirars ship, seized the
l. and giving ft cordial grip. at the same time
|,en cheek, exclaimed, IS Hang me, old boy, if you
not in teller spirits than any of U.S.
! GOD REPLr.-A line in one of Moore's songs reads
: Our couch shall be roses bespangled with
i" To which sensible girl, according to Lam
! reptiei, 90 'Twould give me the rheumatic, and
} would you-''
4 you ever think of marrying a widow said an
Bus parent TO his heir, SO select one whose first
ani was hung; that is the only way to prevent
Throwing his memory in your face, and making
tyinz comparisons
Even that won't do it." exclaimed crusty old
e5r; " she'll then praise him, and say hanging
be too good for you"
kEDEsryArIOS-ss Do you believe in predestina-
" said the captain of Mississippi steamer to
Tnan travelling with him.
course do
l.i do you also believe that what is to be, will
Csruinly"
Nel, an glad to hear it -
Nhyi"
Because I intend to pass that boat ahead in hf-
consecutive minutes, If there be any virtue in
knots aud loading safety-valves- So don't be
ped, fr IL the boiler ain't to be burst, then 1t
rsshe Divine began putting en- his hat and
very m1ch ike backing out, which the Cap
observed, AMI he said sI thought you be-
IN preiestination, and what is to be, will be,''
Do" was the reply, :. but prefer being
nearer the stern lchsa Il takes place ~
the Senate Of the United States there are now
rnters, Ramely-HameIin of Maine. Bigier and
ron Of Pennsylvania, and Rec of Minesota-and
low not how many more besides
Priniing-ottice has, indeed, proved a better col
many boy-has graduated more useful and
caSus members Of society-has brought more
fct out and turned it into practical useful cham
awakened more minds-generated more active
esaied thought-than many Of the literary col
% the country boy who commences in such
~ as prInting-Offiee will have his talents
iets brought out; and, IL he is a careful OBJ
experience IN his profession will contribute
toward an elucstiOn than can be obtained in
any o. her manner
EoO1 yarn IS told Of DR.. rhornnson. Of Atlanta,
frous, good man, a iip-top landlord and wit;
certainly caught il once A traveller called
NE 'or breakfast; the meal was hurredIy pre-
thompson feeling that the 80 feed' was net
W " tEe mark, made all sorts Of apologies
me sIieI, who worked in silence, never
as mead beyond the affinitive influence Of his
anJ act acknowledging even the presence
ns- Ihis sulky demeanor rather Z" Aea'd'
VINO, changing the range of his battery,
\ : thumbs IN the arm holes of his vest, ex-
hs chest by robbinz the room of half its air,
N, Vow, Mister, dod durn me If haint
- tne apology necessary, and more too, consid-
Is S'eAAiist and who gets it, and now L tell
80 seen drtler, worse cooked, worse tasted,
and smaller breakfasts than this is
9' hungry one, meekly laid down his
-aDNed the bite in transitu, placed the palms
a.J .'is together, and modestly looking up at the
-i iaming landlord, shot him dead with the
sr' came with indictive promptness- "well
IL oest, hoss, il you haint out Travelled me-
r.si rrAhrisGroS ON MORAL TESDExcY-" Where
i '4e COY tending:' asked the good man, as
ranng OF Mrs Partington with regard to
i'nes OF Ike, who had a hard name in the
hood-he h-he meant the direction for good or i'll
COY was taking.
- -, said the old lady, Z" he isn't tending any
1 thought some of putting him into o
er.s s'ore, out some says the ringtail' is the
ous. though he isn't old enough yet to
~. s.1 morally tending, said her visitor SOL
s,,agntening himself up like an axe handle.
s4la she, q little confusedly, as though she
a.aesrs'and, but didn't wish to insult him
,s sne didn Z, yes, should hope he'd tend
.a9agh there's great difference in shop
'n' 'he moral tenderness in some seems .
ars ess than in others, and in others good
me- a snopkeeper is one that you should put
Ss' is.o' but I've always noticed sometimes
IA Anngest Of them is the most deceivingest.
,as ae IN the other day that piece Of calico
AT I'a hke piece Of white, and it did just like
=, .ne color washed out Of it,
morning ma'am,'' said her visitor. and
30 WIN "nn long string attached to his heel by
gun that had somehow got upon the floor