Clarksville chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1857-1865, 1858-04-30
cIARKsVILlE, TENN, FRIDAY. APRIL 30, 1858

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punched from between the logs of the
cabin, and that the besiegerss should ere
on his Satanic majesty thro' the wall
The proposed aperture was made, and
there stood the monster, plain to be seen
by all. A gun was leyeled at the monster
by the blacksmith, but ere he could pull
trigger, one of the neighbors knocked it
up, and suggested that it would be better
to take it live, and sell IL to be exhibited
as show. All favored this. but JEFF and
the Sluggses--they urged that il was all q
pack of nonsense to think of capturing
the devil alive, and still greater nonsense
to think Of exhibiting of him. However,
when one of the neighbors offered to go
into the grocery and attempt to treat with
the old fellow, they yielded the point, and
took themselves to what they considered
safe distance, where they awaited in
breathless anxiety to witness the doubtful
result.
The ventursome neighbor, with grin
on his face that most persons would have
attributed to inward mirth, but which the
captain put down as being caused by in
tense excitement, pushed open the door
and walked in. 5,g ss.s5s4 sas 4sls5s 20
'"Brave fellowlp exclaimed the captain
fixing himself in position favorable to
running, in case such thing was neces-
sary, s ~ ss ..,..
In moment the individual in the gro
cery came forth leading by the horn--not
old Belzeebub himself, but the Captains
old brindle cow-completcly robed, from
the tip of her horns to the bottom of her
hoofs, in thick coating Of molasses and
feathers.
A rending peal of laughter went up
from all, save the old Captain. He could
not laugh, for having got rid Of the old
devil, vision of his losses began to rise
up before him. On examination, he dis
covered that his grocery had met total
destruction. Not barrel Of whisky or
molasses remained with head in it. The
old fellows wrath knew no bounds. Had
it not been for the feathers, and the sly
winks exchanged by some of the neighbors
he would have fallen on old brindle, and
killed her outright these caused him to
suspect that she did not, 'of her own free
will and accord, have much to do with it.
Thus ended the liquor business at
Crackers Neck. Captain Sluggs, like a
good Christian, bought farm, and put
Arch to work on it, which made a man of
him. To this day the old Captain often
laughs about the old scrape, and says it
was the best thing that ever happened to
him; and that he would be among the
first to oppose the establishment of
grocery in the vicinity of Crackers Meek.
KNOWING WHO To KICK-The late Col.
McClung, of Mississippi, once got into dis
pute in the Office of the "Prentiss House."
Vicksburg, with arowdy, when, to end the
matter without further delay, he took the
rowdy by the snap of the neck" led him
to the door and kicked him into the street.
Kickee picked himself up, walked away,
and here the matter ended Some weeks
afterwards Mac was in New Orleans,
and when walking up St. Charles street,
saw the fellow he had kicked out of the
Prentiss House kicking third party out
of a drinking saloon. McClung walked
up to his old acquaintance and after scan
ming him closely, said; "Look here my fine
fellow, are you not the man kicked out
of the Prentiss House the other day?"-
Softly, softly, Colonel" replied the rowdy
taking McClung by the arm, "don't men
tion tim the man, but-but you and
[ know whom to kickw
/ Here is litanS, which if not altogether
orthodox, will pass among sinners. From
tailor's bills, doctors pills, western chills,
and other ills-deliver us. From want of
gold, wives that scold, maidens old, and by
sharpers "sold"-deliver us. From screa-
king doors, wife that snores, cOnfounded
bores, and dry good stores-protect as
To modest girls, with waving curls, and
teeth of pearl-deliver us. =
THE BRITISH PosT OFFIcE.-The Lon
don correspondent of the National Intelli-
gencer says that last year no less than
554 100000 of letters passed through the
post office, being an increase 22,0O0,O00
during the year, and fl5O,000 of revenue,
In seven years it is thought the number
Of lettors will reach one thousand million.