Clarksville chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1857-1865, 1858-06-11
hut quo Gun,ur.

anu pis eVche are icW
Printers accounts are said to bo ike
faith--the substance of things hoped for;
the evidence Of things not seeen.
Coon TAsrE.-A pretty young lady
kissing young gentleman.
Why is nusquito like Wall street
broker2 Because he neyer stops bleeding
his victims until some of them smash him.
~ say, Mick, what sort of potatoes are
those you are planting? 2" "Raw ones, TO
be sure--your honor wouldn't be thinking
| would plant boiled ones?p
Kis4North says that it is no wonder that
women love cats, for they are both grace
full and both domestic-not to mention
that they both scratch.
A gentleman, on taking volume of
Gibbons Rome to book store in Boston,
to be bound, was asked whether he would
have il bound in Russia, "Oh, nc" he
replied, Russia is too far of. Twill hsve
it done here, I"
A retired schoolmaster excuses his pass
ion for angling by saying, that from con
slant habit, he never feels quite himself
unless he's handling the rod,
"Won't that boa constructor bite me 2"
said little boy to shcwman.
ooh, no, he never bites-he swallows his
wittles whole"
A young man who had a light incipient
moustache, one day while lingering the few
hairs, said to Harry;
Hadn't better dye this moustache?''
"Oh, nol'' replied Harry; 'let it alone,
and it will die itself
A balloonist who made an ascension at
Montgomery, Ala, to amuse the Southern
Convention, came down on plantation,
when the oyerseer and negroes fed in
alarm. One old lame negro, left behind,
approached with extended arms what he
supposed his Jesus, exclaiming that he
had been waiting for him these forty years.
eDid thee receive my remittance. Ma
than, my son2'
eyes, Father.
"Then why did thee not buy now coat
thy present one is certainly very ffag-
ile."
why, the fact is, left all my money
in the bank at New Orleans
"Ah! thy economy is certainly com
mendable--in what bank ~
81 do not exactly remember in what
bank, father-l know it was very good
one, as it had scriptural name. It was
uni let me see--it was the Pharoah
bank, think"
'Son, banks are very unsafe now, and
thee had better send for thy money imme-
diately."
Son took coughing SPELL
An Irishman went fishing, and among
other things, he hauled in large-sizcd
turtle. To enjoy the surprise of the SER
yant-girl, he put it in her room.
Next morning, the first bounced into
the breakfast table was Biddy, with the
exclamation
BE jabers, have got the dovilH
"What doyil?p inquired her master.
''Why, the bull bed bug, that has been
eating the children for tho last twelve
months"
Mrs. Muggins i---"H How's your husbsnd,
dear?" -'-7rs
Mrs WiggiIne-e0 0h, he in a bad state. 3
WITS, NJ w Hdt Stdtc, prdyl
Mrs. W.-"The State Prison"
A Dublin mercer, recommending a piece
OF silk to- lady for gown, said
Madam, it will wear forever, and make
a petticoat afterwards"
whatsoever man soweth, that shall
he also reap" Then what bountiful
harvest of old coats and breeches the tall
or will reap one of these days.
Have the courage to cut the most agree
able acquaintance you have when you are
convinced he lacks principle A friend
should bear with friends infirmities,
but not with his vices.
TITO Tom MoOre's ilnei
"onr bed shall be roses bespangled with dow,"
sensible girl replied;
"Twould give me the rheasiatios aud so swould
you"
QuREs ErirAPn--A corresponds nj Of the Bos.
ton journal seads to that paper the following epi-
taph, which he says he found OH tombstone in
Oxford, NJ II
"To all my friends bid aden,
more sudden death you never knew.
As was leading the old mare 10 drink,
She kicked and killed me quckern wink"
Il can marry any girl | please" said
young fellow, boastingly
"Very true, replied his waggish com
panion, "tor you cant please any
A gentleman asked negro boy if he
wouldn't take pinch of snuff
"No," replied dsskey, very respectfully
''mc tank you, Pomp's nose not hungry
PRETrY GooD-An exquisite compIi-
ment was paid the other evening to lady
in our presence. She had just swallowed q
glass Of wine, as gentleman in the com
pany asked for a taste.
at is all gone, said she, laughing, sun
less you will take some Of it from my lips
81 should be most happy" he replied,
"but meyer take sugar with my WinaIn