Delaware gazette. [volume] (Delaware, Ohio) 1855-1886, 1858-07-16

The Fisrt lee Cream.
The following article appeared o. few
years ago in "The Daguerroty Psr'r period
zeal of short lived existence, conducted by
the Bev. D+ Freeman who died.s few years
since. Bishop Of A rkansas and rexas.
Fl we kaew TO whom, or to what, to give
credit for the follosaiag hiir we would cer-
tainIy do il. II comes TO US without any in-
| tinatioa IF its origin. and We give it place
as ludienously characteriislc. Il Purports TO
be Ethaa. Spikes FIRST and Last visit to Port.
land:
.Portlsad i the all-fredest place ever
seed Hwas down there in '38, to. see a is-
tie about my goin' 10 the Legislature, and
such tine as I had you never heard tell
on. DID / ever tell you about the ice cream
scrape had
We answered. ia. the negative and he re-
sumed
s.WalI, I'd hi4p dowF' aacr a,ao or three
dags. po94r sF every hole, an tho't that ID
seed everything that was to be seem. But
one DAY, tours sun down. / was gcin' by a
shop in Middle street that looked wonder
fully slick--there was all manner of candy
an peppermints an what nots at the win
dow. An then thar warsisns with gold let
ters on them, hnngin' roand the door, teIlin'
how they sold Soda Mead, an ice cream
thar | says to, myself have hearn good
de al abon< szzEsiss 'ere ice cfeasss anf now /
win see what they's made of. So puts
nsy hands into my pockets, ae'. walked in
kinder careless, am says to the chap standtn'
behind the eosnter,
~Do you keep any ice cream kere?''
rYes, sir'', says he show much ill haye!"
IL considered mint, siys "a pint, sir. !"
The young fellers face swelIed out, and
he liked to have laughed right out, but arter
a while he asked
"Dld you say piuf sir
+" Sargfs,h says J, 'fbut p'raps you don't re-
tail, so don't mind takin' quart"
Wal, cont you think the feller snorted
right out Tell yer what, it nsesde me feel
sort a pison. an give him Il look that made
him look sober in about minitS an when
| clincfed my fists and looked So at hiFss-
(here Mr.. S. favored US with m.st diabol-
ical expression,) he hasied in his horns a.
bout the quickest, an hardel5 ne PtN o.
the stuff as perlite as possible. Wal, ltast-
ed mouthful of it, and found it cool as the
north side of Bethel in January. Ed half
a mind to spit il out, but est then | seed the
confectiouer chap GRIMM behind the door,
which rjz my spunk. Gall isnash it all, thinks
l, I'll not let that white liver monkey think
I'm afeared--I1feat The plaguey stuff ii it
fecezes nv inards. tell yer what, I'd
rather skinned bar or whipped a wild cat.
but wentit. | eat the whole in about
mint.
@Wal in about quarter of an hour be-
gan to feel kinder gripy about here" contin-
ued Ethan, pointing to the lower parts of hrs
stomach, SAN kept on feeling no better very
fast, till at last it seemed as though f't got
a steam ingen sawin' shingles in me. sot
down on cheer, and bent myself up like a
nut chacker, thinkin' I'd grin and bear it;
but couldn't set siill--I twisted and squirm-
ed about like ap angle wurm on hook, till
at last the chap as gin me the cream, who
had been lookin' on snickera' says he,
Mister what ails yer!,'
..Ails mel" says I,.that ere stuff o yeuF'R
is freezing up my dsylights-
"You eat toe much" says he.
81 tell yer didnst,a screamed, 4 know
what is nuff and what's too uiuch without
asking you, an if you don, leave off snick-
ii
He cottoDed right down an said he didn't
mean any hart. and asked if hadn't better
take some gin. Told him would. So
took a pretty good aorn an LETT the shop.
carter | got out" continued Ethan, 81
felt better for mint or SO, but | hadn't
gone far before the gripes took me agin; so
/ went in to another shop. an took some
more pin: then sot down on the State
House steps, an there sos @Esd SOC, bun |
didn't feel a mite better. / begun to think |
/ was going TO kick the bucket. an then
thonoht at father sw asv4her, and OF old
spank ker-taal's fariers hoss--sDd when
thought that I slsos,ld never see 'em agin, |
/ fairly bIubbere6. But then happened to
look ap, an, see .duzen boys grinnin' an
Iarfrre a. me, tell yer what, il rlz my spunk
--tliat had got down below zero-rree up n
yin, | sprung o. 'em like wild cat, hoi-
lerin' out I'D shuke their tarnai gizzards
opt, an the way the little devils scaIHpered
was caution to nobody. But after the
,citement of the race was over, felt wus a.
gin and couldn't help groanin' and screech-
in as ! went along.
At last Thought I'd GO to the theatre:
but afore got there, the grl2es got SO strong
that had to go behind n meetin' house aud
holler. Arter while | got up and went INTO
shop an eat half dollars worth OF isters
with four picked cowcuubers, and wound
up with glass of brandy. Then Invent into
the theatre. an seed the plays, but felt SO bad
that couldn't see ANY fun in 'em tor don't
think the listers and cowcumbers done me
sny good. ] sot down, laid down, stood up
but still it went on, gripe, gripe. ] groaned
all the time, an once in q while | was O.
blged to screch kinder easy. Everybody STAR
ed at me, and somebody called out turn him
OUR once or twice. But ut last, just rs the
Dgger Orthello was going to put the P'ller
on his wife's face to smother her, there come
such twings through me that l. thought