davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The weekly Portage sentinel. [volume] (Ravenna, Ohio) 1854-1861, 1858-02-25
The IIOlnonyIns Of Congress.

As usual, the list OF members Of Con.
gress contsins several shomouyms, which
render it particularly necessary to point out
their initials in order 10 distinguish them -,
Fer example, we find Eve -Joneses, two in
the Senate aud three in the House; and
what is worse. six Davises, two of whom
bear the name Of Timothy--the one from
Iowa, the other from Massachusetts,. How
shall we distinguish them without mention.
ing their respective States! It is much TO
be feared that they will discover each oth
er's secrets from inevitable errors at the
post Office. And what may ensue. After.
wards come four Clarks, three Wrights
three Washburns, three Thompsons,, two
Marshalls. two Clays, tvo Stewards. two
Shaws. two Taylors, two Shermanes two
Wilson's, two Masons, two Halls, three
I Stuarts or Stewarts, two Phelpses, two Nor
see, two Harrises, and two, Morrises.. Th.
Smiths are comparatively rare this session
only two in the House, and none IN th'
Senate. This is much below the Usual pro
portion, and we must believe, with one 0
cur compStriots, that the Smiths have gen
erally been placed this time on the beatei
tickets. '7s -&@"e'@ .ssss@S SF''s
The weekly Portage sentinel. [volume] (Ravenna, Ohio) 1854-1861, 1858-02-25
A JudiciaI and Ji.dlcious Irins. !.

IL f.
Gen. D.----was more distinguished for
Gallantry in the field than for the care he
lavished upon personal cleanliness. Com.
planning on certain occasion 70 the late
Chief Justice B., Of the suffering ibss
he :endured from rheumatism, that learned,
and humorous Judge undertook 70 prsscribs
. remedy. ,.. ..s.
"YOu must desire your seryaRt." he saN
to the General, "to place every morning ~
your bedside tub three parts filed with,
warn water. You viii then get into the
tub. and having previously provided yourself
with pound OF yellow soap, you mnst rub
your whole body with It, immsrsihg yourssl {
occasionally in the water, and at the end 81
one.fourth Of an hour. the process eoncladss1
BY wipihg yourself dry with towels. ana
scrubbing your person with . Aesh hfushiy,
: "Why, said the General aiteE few min
utes reflection upon what hs had just heard.
'.this seems to me TO be neither moEs Of lets
than washing yOurself!" 5}, s1N@ "52.Ifa y
"Wsll,n rsjoined he Judes, .'ss q sstsN 10
Ghat o!ectiosI" .'st's.- ~ t@e'sas
The weekly Portage sentinel. [volume] (Ravenna, Ohio) 1854-1861, 1858-02-25
.RAYENN Ma. TH3URsDA y. FEB, s5, 1853. ''
now. What could they have dotls with the

now. What could they have douS With the
tinesl" said he. .taF - a'''">' 80
Casting bis syss along the fence he dis
covered the vines nicely piled up like Q
small hay stack. From the top, stood q
pole, with stripe Of red floating At the end
Of il. Ab started towards il. but before he
bad proceeded many steps stopped to think.
Something seemed to be coming up 10 his
mind. At last he muttered, "capt it oil be
q dreaml or actually did do il!" Waiting
9 little longer, he said, "No, by thunder, it's
no dreami Them cussed boys has been
playin' off on me. Blast their Internal
whisky, I wish they had It all in their cussed
innards red hot! Mind, l tell you, I'll be
even with 'em II il takes me hundred
years from now" and then came an awful
golley Of curses such as could never appear
in print. He fairly blubbsred right ou.
with 7age.a agfs .a~sal tsr5sgs- als -
. 1t was indeed, ,rue--they had bean play.
ing off on him--for after getting hima little
eight" they had brought him back to his
own melsn putch, and under the impression
that it was Deacon Aikers'. he. had destroy,
ed il. Itiss4,d that Ab was never known
to assist in the plunder OF melon patch Al.
tor that eyentfuI night. .,--..
The weekly Portage sentinel. [volume] (Ravenna, Ohio) 1854-1861, 1858-02-25
: Complete Business Men.

ZkHa L., Z -t 3 ,
"RsEe, almost - great poess--rarer, per-
hsps. than veritable baints and martyrs
are consummate men Of business. A man,
to bs'exesllent in this way, must not only
be variOlsly gifted, but his gifts should be
nicely proportiontd 10 one another. He
must have in high degree that virtue which
msn.hsvs always found the less. pleasant
Of virsues--prudsnce. EIis prudence. how.
ever, win not be merely Of . cautious and
quisscent order, bus thst which, being ever
acsivsly engaged. is more fi.ly called die.
cretion than prudence. Such man must
have sn slmost ignominious lore Of details,
blended (sud this is . rare combinasion)
withaehieh Powet Of imae einasion, enabling
him, to look along extended lines Of Possi.
Bile action. and put these dstsils in their
right pisces. He requires crest knowl.
edge Of character, with that exquisite tact
which feels upsrriaEly the fight moment
whea 70 act. A discreet raPidity must per.
vsds sll shs novtments VI his thought and
action. Z He must be singularly free from
vanity. and is generally found tobe IN en-.
thusiast whs has the art to conceal his en-.
thusiasm.1 e'% as9fa Esssa@ ).
The weekly Portage sentinel. [volume] (Ravenna, Ohio) 1854-1861, 1858-02-25
MIR. Webster ON the Evidences of
,g Christianity. st-

A few evenings since. sitting by his own
freside, after doy of severe labor in the
Supreme Court, Mr.. Webster Introduced the
last Sabbath's sermon aud discoursed in ami.
mated and glowing eloquence for an hour,
on the great truths of the gospel. | can
not but regard the opinions of such man
in some sense, as public property. This is
my apology for attempting to recall some
Of those remarks which were uttered in the
privacy OF the domestic circle. .a3 s-
Said Mr.. Webster: Last Sabbath I lie.
tened TO an able and learned discourse upon
4! the esidencss u Christianity. The srgu,
mrnts were drawn from prophecy, history.
and internal evidence. They were stated
with logical accuracy and force; but, as it
seems to me, the clergyman failed to draw
from them the right conclusion. He came
so near the truth that was astonished that
he missed it in summing up his arguments.
He said the only alternative presented by
these evidences is this: Either Christiani.
" is true, or it il delusion produced BY On
excited Imagination. Such is not the alter.
native. said the critic; but it is this: The
gospel is either true history, or it is a con.
summate fraud; il is either reality or an
imposition. Christ was what he profesaed
to be. or he was an imposter. There lie no
other alternative. His spotless lie in hia
ei rnest enforcement Of tho truth, his suffer.
ing in its defence. forbid US to suppose that
he was suffering an illusion eta heatsC
brain. saat @e rs %aI f v#A
| Every act OF his plre and holy life shows
that he was the author Of truth. the advo
cate Of truth, the earnest defender of truth
and the uncOmpromising sufferer for truth
Now. considering the purity Of his doctrines
the simplicity Of his life, and the sublimisj
Of his death, 10 it possible that he shoUl'
have died for an illusion! In oil his preach
ing, the Saviour made no popular appeals
His discourses were all directed to the indi
vidual. Christ and his apostles sought t
impress upon every man, the conviction tha
he must stand or fall alons-he must liv
for himself, and die for himself, and Civ
up his account TO the omniscient God .
though he were the only dependent being i
the universe. The gospel leaves the ind
vidual sinner alone with himself snd hi
! God. To his own Master he stands or falil
He has nothing 70 hope from the aid an
sympathy Of associates. The deludsd at
vocates Of new doctrines do not so preacl
Christ and his apostles. had they been d
ceivers, would not have 50 preached.
The weekly Portage sentinel. [volume] (Ravenna, Ohio) 1854-1861, 1858-02-25
Coed.

On csrtain occasion ths csunsei tsok
some exception 70 the ruling o. tho sosrt o.
q certain point. and disputs sross. ~
D "Ii the court please said the eonhsel,
al wish to refer to thiS book mom Snt."f
and at the same tine picked up . Law vol.
ume.. F@'l t~ .l
"There's no use Of you referring 70 aay
book" exclaimed the court aDgrily;"I have
decided the pint" - as.. .ft. ii s. ''e
"But your HonOr''--persistsd the atsot.
sney. r, ,r 8 -,
"Now. I don't want to hear anything o.
the subject" yelled the court;"I tell you
again, have decided the pins,' 4 =
IL know that" was the rejoindeF; ~ am
satisfied Of that--but this 10 volume Of'
Blacks.onej I'm certain that hs dif5ers with
your Honor, and l.Only want to chew you
what grea. fool Blackstone waste s n.
"Ah, indeedw exclaimed the coust ssmii.
Ing oil ovsr--"now yOu begin to talk" Y
The weekly Portage sentinel. [volume] (Ravenna, Ohio) 1854-1861, 1858-02-25
Dr. IKaney q RoYhood:

When be was ten, years old, four or 6ve
neishbOr boys. Sil bigger than himself, who
hsd climbed upon the roof sf back build.
ing in bis father's yard. were amusing them.
selves by shooting putty.wsds nom blow.
guns, at the girls below. Elisha attracted
to the spot BY the Outcry Of the injured p,r.
ty. promptly undertook the defence, and IN
the firm tone Of young gentleman offend
ed, required Of them to desist and leave the
premises; which of course. was instantly
answered by a brOadside isvelIsd at himself.
Fired at the outrage, he clutched the rain.
spout, climbed like q young tiger to the roof,
and was among them before they could real-
iEe the practicabil;ty Of the feati and then
he had them on terms even ensbgh for q
handsome settlement Of the. case -ca 10 %.
The roof was steep and dangerous to his
cowed antagonists, but safe to his better
balance and higher courage, and they were
at bis mercy; for no one could help another,
and he was more than match for any Of
them, In position where peril Of q terrible
tumble was among the risks Of resistance.
Forthwith he went at them ssriG'im, till
sereralIy and signally. he had suited them to
the full measure Of their respective dessry.
ing'. But not satisfied with inaic,ing pun
ishment. he. exncted penitence also, and he
proceeded to drag each of them In turn to
the edge Of the root, and holding them there.
demanded an explicit apology. - s,, m-
IS Before he had finished putting the whole
party through this last form Of purgation,
little Tom, who had witnessed the perform
ance from the pavement below, greatly ter.
rifed by the imminent risk Of fall, which
would have broken = neck or two, mayhap,
called out.--"Come down, Elisha! Oh,
Elisha. come downi' asa,5-ssl sia
Elisha answered the appeal in the spiri.
Of the engagement. .sfs
"No, Tom, they ain't done apolsgizing
yet" ,E-., s.s sa- s.s ..tss a.sa p.t
The weekly Portage sentinel. [volume] (Ravenna, Ohio) 1854-1861, 1858-02-25
Croolketa enough.

q -
Speaking Of the Rio Grande. - writer snys:
"Imagine. one Of the crookedsst things In
the world, then imagine four more twice as
crooked. and imagine % yourself 7 fatgs
river thrss timss as crooked a s.I these put
together, and you have q faint idea Of the
crooked disposition of this crooked river -
There Is no drift wood in its' from the fact
that II issc crooked that timber cannot find
its wei" fat down enough 70 !. lodge two
sticks together; bus few snakes, because
Il 10 not straight snobgh to swim ins sld
shs dsh are slIin whirpoOis ID the bands,
bscauss thsy cannot hnd their way cut.-r
Birds frequently attempt 70 ~ acscss the
river. bat light on the same lside'thsy start
from -l.bsing deceived By thss crook. In
decd you nay ~ deceived sksh yoa think.
you sse ssfoss Il; and some Oi the kheya
say iiissot otwistingthere isibnaens side p ~
n 90 ses sEl2s
ny3slRnnA {amrah sEiain i,nsk@ a 1spyk ke-na
The weekly Portage sentinel. [volume] (Ravenna, Ohio) 1854-1861, 1858-02-25
THE Il u,iNioS u il S-1T Musr BE pREsERvi1EsD

mef Millsr'sbatn. Joe Clelvsrs sot stealth.
ily out Of the vehicle, jumped the fence, and
crspt cautiously around 70 the door Of the
building in question: Hew hsppy he felt
In smother moment Mary would be bis ownl
In the morning she would, be hls darling
little wife. Farmer Miller would storm, , OF
courses but ths Farmer loved his dauehtsr
dearly. He ives proud OF her. He would
therefore, relent, forgive and bless. them /!
Foil Of these delightful antlcipstions, Joe
thrust his finger in the hole Ofths barn door
10 reach the latch. bus---Ah how he yell.
cd with pain. A steel tfsp, adroitly placed
on the inside, 20 as to estch any ebs,ruc,ing
article had snapped, and bis bleeding finger
was held fast with lie iron teeihglga 'aaa5a
Il was q cold night, and Jos's feelings
may be easily coDjeelured az hs stood there.
shivefing and shaking, hour after hour, un-
able to move from the spot, held aspEisoner
by the savsgs. instrument, his lacersted fin-
ger ocsasioning him acute sgony, and his
heart fairly sinking into his boots with the
conviction that daybreaE would only expose
him to the farmers indignation and The viii
age ridicule. 5ea - oF {@@ %
Just a, dawn. Farmer Miller. chuckling
over the success Of his russ, went down to
the barn. There still stood Joe, and not
far of was the. horse and wagon. / need
not say how Joe implored pardon, and pro-
missed everything that could be desired to
purchase il and silence. Farmer Miller and
Joe Gnally closed bargain. Joe was re-
leased. Nay, more, Farmer Miller gave
him one hundred dollars, and Joe was in
New York before noon, en- route for Iowa.
AS for Mary--,his incident occurred two
years ugo, and have just kissed her first
baby! She pleased her futher, and seems
to have pleased herself, in consequence,
quite as much. s-r-
The weekly Portage sentinel. [volume] (Ravenna, Ohio) 1854-1861, 1858-02-25
Kcsal wit.

There are people who talk with their
whole body. The Frenchman talks with
his arms, shoulders and head; Yankee with
bis eyes and face. lssg 81 ~" 9je e ~.
A certain member Of Congress from one
ofthe Eastern States was speaking one dsy
on seme important question: and became
very much animated. during (Which he grim
acsd very much, which tet = brother tdeus-
Der, his opponent on the question, TO smiling
This annoyed him Yery mush, and he indig'
nantly demanded to know why the gentle
man from ---, was Iuughing at him.
"Iwss smiling Y your manner cf making
monkey faces, sir;", was The, rePly.sl.lss
! "Oh, nsaks monkey facss, do u We'll
cir, you have no occasion 10 tiy'thesxpsrfi
nsnt, iOr natsrs las sovsd yes 20 frSabls. :
The hummer was distinctly heard, anai'
the, roar Of laughter, calling the hopse'it'
| ar1av. ~ sy t,tee. a&i .FEcf ,teTses ;r B26
The weekly Portage sentinel. [volume] (Ravenna, Ohio) 1854-1861, 1858-02-25
miscellaneous.
EIMia water ,ls u Beverage

- III N . q ..
Rain water ID the pufest water in the
world. Df. Fleming. Of the Water Cure at
Rochester. SLOWS no otber water to be used
in his family or office. He pisses the rain
water through after, which separates from
IL every offensive taste, and extraneous INST.
ter. Its taste Is better than any well or
spring water. In oil locations where water
is defective, the evil can be rsmeded by the
use OF rain water. The miasms Of fever and
ague countries can be completely avoided BY
proper use Of this simple remedy. The
apparatus for fiIttring, sufficient for one fam,
lily, can be procured for from three to eight
dollars. 49, a p, s'-z .,.s,-ss sa-
. The writer, while riding in the cars near
Binghampton, saw two brothers, as healthy
looking men as you would see among ten
thousand, who had spent some twenty five
years among the low lands Of Indiana. In
conversation with one Of them, he attributed
his Uniform good health ~ the constant use
'of ruin wuterss They were Iawyers, and one
Of them, the Presidential the U. 8. Senate,
1--WE want grfat names to give force to little
truths now a.days.) Mr.. Brieht's mode Of
purifying rein water, 10, to get it from winter
SHOWS while tits in its pure state, or when
obtained from summer rain let it stand some
three weeks. wheni, will undergo process
of fermentsii.n, the extraneous matter will
svaPorate, leaving the article pure. Water
put uP for sea voyage will get slimy and
nauseous after few days embsrkation, yet
will become pure in three weeks--pure even
% sOming from the hand OF the Creator,
when it ~as pronounced coed. together with
every thing then made, very good.
The weekly Portage sentinel. [volume] (Ravenna, Ohio) 1854-1861, 1858-02-25
AmluSiME.

p
A few miles below Poughkeepsie, New
York, there now lives, and has lived for sew.
erAl years past, worthy, clsrgymani man.
however, very short in stature. Upon q
certain Sunday, about eight years ago. this
clergyman was invited BY the pastor Of q
church in that village, to fll bic pulpit for
the day. The invitation was accepted. and
Sunday morning saw Mr.. ----- in the pull
pit. Now it appeared that the, pulpit was q
very high one, and accordingly nearly hid
the poor little clergyman from view. How.
ever, the congregation, out Of respect. man.
aged TO keep their countenancea, and with
over pious faces, seemed religiously anxious
for the text. They were not obliged to wait
long. for nose and two little eyes suddenly
appeared over the top Of the pulpit, and .
squeaking tremulous voice proclaimed 10
nasal tones the text: "Be Of good cheer, It ID
I, be not afraid" A general roar Of laugh
ter followed the nnouncement-the clergy,
man became, confused, and turned all sorts
Of colors. Many in the general uproar lef'
the church, and it was long time before
the minister was enabled to proceed will
his sermon, so abruptly broken of. After
noon came, and the little man, standing OF
a footstool, had a fair view Of his audience
The text was announced ia due form. ~
little while and ye shall see me-, and sgai'
little while and 70 shall not see me." II
the course oihis sermon he repeated hsiex
with great earnestness, and stepping bacl
lost his elevated footing and disappears
from all his hearers. The effect may b
more readily imagined than described.
The weekly Portage sentinel. [volume] (Ravenna, Ohio) 1854-1861, 1858-02-25
sd s Pen props.
Al.n--A huhbls2 on DO eelan,l fsIlInI

N.s-EFrsz.g,ssE
Msu--A bubble on thS ossan'S rolling
waFe., 81, z,S e Sa;sss 1lsdl asR lsfaN
Lifs--A, glssm q light essinsuishsd ~
the grave. slss s. - as Gess ~ Y sisfzF
( Tsms--A ms.sor dszEling;sl.h IL dIs.sns q
glars. \. ss,s Il sJassars "a 7ans1.ssssa
Weal.h--A soures sf ,rpublslspl esns
suming care. si svees Al hatsiatfs y
Plessurs--A slsam ofssunshins psssIas
soon away. 8 sas rasqs sgsf s.gtFs1fs
Lcvs--A morning dream whose msnsry
gilds the day. 7ssas sits .s.s,a
Fai.h--An aprAer dropped beyosd tks
vale Of death. aJ.,a 80 ga7sI7qqo s4s
HOPs-A lone star bsaniag Ger the bss.
rem heath. .,s. 4. ~-7,sg 5.gss IS fsne,lsa 5s
Chariiy--A stream, meandsrIns iren he
fOunt Of lore. ..g ~, ers!ts, i y, s4i .ss,
Bibls--A guide 70 realms Of sndlsss jo1 S
above, -. ...,.,... -,ly~.ss,ss !, .st--e-
Rsligion-7A hey which opens vide tho 7,
gates Of Heaven. J5 8,fr rstR aa-g,
Dsa.h--A knife By which the ties OfssrsA
are riven. -, .,,-, rsf, ss.sis 'ano'y 20
Earth--A desert through which pilgrims. =
wend their way, - ,s,a,sts-s ssYa;sass 7ss ,
Grays--A house Of rest where snds lifs's !,
weary day. a... al r., ,r,.s7 ,sa.,
Resurrection--A sudden, waking from s,1v
quiet dream. 4, i..'.zs ~an.,, s.5ssa So, 81
Hsavsn--A land Of Joy. q, light and love
supreme. o.. .s5..,,..-v
The weekly Portage sentinel. [volume] (Ravenna, Ohio) 1854-1861, 1858-02-25

HsE ~ sz sssssg 8. sstsKs I. ~
n eoes eoartr efshanssfY fEai insillaaea u
n EaeiApa. 80 .lisi .esl sa
Ia 65l. elsss lnisedussa iass Enelaaa. p
! Bsnsiissine msr - 4 sss
Ii .zla. ths eomRnlasipa ef tn fsea ilssIa
hirth q Chslst eemEenesl Il u 4
n sss. plsadIns ID saagt AEsl iasslsnssd
ia SCI. ihs fEst lsna iHx vaE.lssista
In I0eh anrpsmsa eFdsFsa y sbsusaain
ecsgispae ~ rsrlllmssa hsl1 a EsFiaE.
The weekly Portage sentinel. [volume] (Ravenna, Ohio) 1854-1861, 1858-02-25

Y ora distinguished writer says tAat
rnoshing l. bsst sshisvsd by findirsStion's
The workings Of ! c0fkstsswiwSuld seshntc
- I. rsfpssdOn ossbss PIGsslbls sbsslfy.. ...s, \
The weekly Portage sentinel. [volume] (Ravenna, Ohio) 1854-1861, 1858-02-25

C1sA man who. marries frivolous dirt,
s'glsss to airy no,hine q local hAbitstion and
. hatAtsN se sss' I. ys9 N
The Athens post. [volume] (Athens, Tenn.) 1848-1917, 1858-04-09
Schenectady Agricultural Works
MANUFACTURE

MhNbfAtIlkE
IMPROVED RAILWAY HORSE POWERS.
TIRESlERS AND SEPARATIONS. COM.
BlNED THRESllERS AND WINNOWERs
GLOVER HULLERS AND CLEANERS.
WOOD SAVING MACHINES. DC.
THE undersigned having been twenty
Il years engaged in building various kinds
of Horse Powers and Threshing Machines, feel
conhdent, from past experience, and the nu-
merous testimonials they are receiving from
all parts of the country of the superiority of
their machines, that they can give satisfac-
ton to all who may favor them with orders.
Our Horse Powers are made strong, and so
geared that 1t requires the team to travel
only about ! I miles per hour to thresh dry
grain, thereby making it suitable to work
either horses or cattle on them.
Our Threshers and Threshers md Winnow-
ers are so constructed as to discharge all the
grain and dust through the machine, and not
into the feeders face as is usual with other
kinds.
The T!resher and Winnower has reyoly-
ing wire separator, which does its work more
perfectly than can be done in any other way.
The Separator (RiGdle) has a fork straw
shaker, which shakes the grain out of the
straw as 1t passes from the Thresher
We warrant these machines to suit the pur.
chaser upon trial, or they can be returned
| and the money refunded.
G. WESTINGHOUSE Il co.
~ These machines will be for sale in
Athens as soon as they can be brought out
by steamer, S. X REEDER, agent.
April 3, lS5-tf-445
The Athens post. [volume] (Athens, Tenn.) 1848-1917, 1858-04-09
PIANO FORTE ..

TINE subscriber is now receiving a new
L stock of ELEGANT PIANOS from the
Oldest and most responsible manufactures Of
the North, among which are
Z octave Plain Center Pianos;
z Carved " 4"
Z Halfcarved" "
81 Plain, Q round corners;
81 Plain, d"
Grand Piano, very heavy toned
Also, the Budoir Piano.
Also, the celebrated Corrugated Sounding
Boards, of Boardman, Gray & Co., which are
becoming so vastly popular in Europe as well
as America.
All Pianos warranted to give satisfaction,
or no sale.
Also, just received, large selection of
Piano Mwsic-Songs, Polkas, Waltzes, Varia-
tions, de-, DC; Guitars and Strings; superior
Melodians; Harmonious; Piano Stools and
Covers.
Pianos tuned and repaired.
The subscriber refers to gentlemen who
have purchased of him, throughout East
Tenn ssee, Alabama and Georgia.
These ins.i uments are for sale at Athens
and Chattanooga. III. G. COOKE.
Dec 8. lS5-tf-42S