The weekly Portage sentinel. [volume] (Ravenna, Ohio) 1854-1861, 1858-04-29
A Race with a Wido&,

Merciful Jehohtph1t and Big onions Whist
time I've had with the wilder. We char.
tered an omnibus for two on Cnrstmss, and
started. "M-iddef," said /, "whers are we
going tot" She bldshsd. and said she didn't
like to say. told her she must say.
"Well, Jehuel, you insist upon it, and
| am to have my choice, had rather 60 to
church." ..r.. ..s g..- .....-
"What for, widder!" said I. .g
"Oh, Jehdel, how can you ask met"
"Cnuse want to know" said l..
"Well-(blushing tedaef than 6eeO-i,
is such cool weather now and the nights are
awful cold, and--oh, tehiel, | cant stand
itp .
"Oh, pshaw, wilder, spit i, Oh, what do
you mean!"
The wilder ried CHE Sird right over
like quart of milk OH the Are, and burst
out with
III you cant understand me. you're a
henrtless brute, SO you ure."
"Holt ydir horses!" said /. "What's
all this about! am not brute, nor nev.
er was; and ifa n called he that, I'd
boot him adre.'
And Billed oveF, and nnbGstoned nv Goa,
collar TO keep froth Dustin of my Buttons.
The wilder saw I was going to explode, or
else collapse my wind pipe, and she flung
her aims round my neck, put her lips to
mine, and cooled tight down.
"Jehuel, DEAR" snid she, in an insinivatin'
way, and voice as sweet as hand organ
"Jehuel, honey, want to 60 t6 church to
get mur-no, can't say it all, you finish the
word, Jehuel. sweet"
"What word mOfln -
"Oh, you stupid Jehuel, dear, tiieaH
the word married, love"
"Mattied, widder!" said "dd you mean
thnt!'
"iudeed did, tehdel, love!"
"LouS here. marm, my mama isn't Jehue
Love- nor JehutI Dear, nor Jehuel Sweet
I'd have 5oN Know. And won't get mar
ried to nobody but one, and you are not tht
she."
Oh, pewter pennies, but didn't she rave
She Made one dash at me; lodged, AMI
she went butt up against the upper end o.
the omnibus. Crack went her comb, ant
smash went that bran new 6ohnet that
didn't buy for her, and down sks Gent with
her face IN the straw. Btt III moment
she rose again, and madS ore more dash al
me. | dropped-she vent over me and but.
ted the door of the o!iinibus. The strap
broke and out she went--her gaiter Boots
higher than her head as she struck the
pavement.
"Drive on!" yelled to the driver.
"Woniaii overheard J." cried a passing
sailor. %H |.t .sa
"Stop that White Coat breach of prom.
ise--reward--HsraH published" shrek
ed the widdet, in tones of mortal agony
while tears of blood streamcd from her beau
tiful pug nose.
"Driye on drive on ~ shouted.
"Where to I" asked the driver as.
"To the devil-%to Harlaem--to Macomb's
Dam--anywhere, so that we escape matri'
mony and the wilder. -... ... .....s
He started, so did the widder. and then
we did slide; the widder Id longer gained
but she held her own beautifully. Thus
we Had tout past the Red Hou, e--throus!
Harlaem--where Captain Graham attempt
Ell to catch US; he probably supposing tha
we were running away with sortte bans
fund. ..
MY only hcpe Vas in reaching Degroor:
ahead Of her, for knew they would hid'
ME. We were ON the bridge, and oh Mos es
the draw was up, and sloop was going
through. "Drver." said "junp that bridg
and I'll make your fortune for life, stre as
you're born."
"I'll do it or die !' he cried. And he di,
it. The tsiJder jumped after us, fell int
the Harlaem river, and hasn't been heard Q
| since. a,3Drft.a..F s:1a ua ss ea,s