The Council Bluffs nonpareil. [volume] (Council Bluffs [Iowa]) 1857-1867, 1858-03-27
DOEsrIcxs GETS MARRIED.

We've taken a partner FOR life, and Eve
got a wife. In my room pair Of brown
gaiters occupy the corner where oor, boot
jack used to hang, and we fatter ourselves
that l'ye made good bargain in the ex-
the price of beef, and we bully our butcher
with the Dir of respectable married man.
We buy my potatoes nov myself, and We
are not to be easily bamboozled out of my
small change by any body. But am not a
"malefactor, ''and did not 60 onnsstrnin.''
We have finished all our sstrains,, and I
henceforth claim for ourself the name of q
sober and correct individual. Beer We will
not take into my mouth, and our lips shall Be
sealed when the festive 'scocktail'' would
tempt me to indulge-nor shall the social
'cobler," or the genial ssjulip'' or, the, se-
ductive "smasho induce me to fracture our
resolution. Ourself is the best Judge Of the
proprieties of my domestic life. Is gsastl
Triangle. avaunt Jones, get thee behind
me! Makeweight, avoint thee! Tying, my
jolly joker, not even with thee will take
our accustomed ssnip." 'sH. W. B." we es-
TEEN thee as my friend and our jocose con-
tributor, but thou and l, Henry, have taken
our last s'swig" from your little, private
wicker bottle. Delmonico's shall know US
no more, and at Mataran's shall never
agaln comfort ourself with my midday
sherry, which did so much refresh Us. De-
part from US, Arnoldi tempt me not.
We are now a Benedict, and am deter.
mined to become respectable, steady, aud
serious. have invented an anti bachelors
multiplication table, which We have learned
~ nd - ~k 70 h.
ful consideration Of our readers:
Twice two .smashes" buys box Of hair
pins. stts 4gs'is8 ssss9 81 ~ 81 sas 81
Twice two scoblors'' buys . pair Of ear.
Twice four ..lasers'' buys pair of glove.
Twice I've "jalip.'' buy. bre.stpin (fs-
Twice six sspunches" buys linen collar
Twice seven ssale.'' buys i pair Of shoes
(female.) gIR 4ats sa' q tba1 ,aiay
Twice eight tssoddies''buys o calico dress,
with cloth enough for basque and psnts-
lettes.)
Twice nine ssbitterrs'' buys q summer bonl
net, land leaves triie towards thsvailsnd
trinmings.) aaai i a{4S y8fsuss iii .s,t ha78sl
pT Twice tensssangarses''b ''buys ? pair Of stays
machine stitched, with patent .eyelets and
embroidered down the back. vase
Twice eleven ssslings'' bays 1 collar asd
undsrsleavss (and leaves . balance toward
the fringe IA ttg.I is.l.s, 5 s,i3 4..f ssf7p.as
Twice twelve ssbrnndJ straights'' are good
for hooped skirt eight house sise) two
pairs Of long stockings, and a silk parasols
aaAnd % On, al thros9h, ending up with
! Twelve tines twelve sshssketsl Of cham
Pagne"s pays, house rent for {, year, and
leaves margin. ~ R'ss y
I. astonishing how inush I'vsissfnsa of
!hs asstsRiss iof ifsminius appascl in ten
dAys.s Ikpow that the dear creatures trim
their bonnets With foundation muslin that
i takeS three breadths and { half Ii make i /
dress, md th6t the lower edge Of their wAiss I
'kirts =, aalsast hem-stiashsd with laess
eQlks seigaI aak st .s5aa,f -aaaI an4s IL
!, Goodsbye, Bschelordom. We are mar.
fied i1diiyiidaal, though Ssili, u ever, With |
sonsidtrsbIs rsssfts sissn,n GasYSafs, 40
~ sue has apfS st,f sDotsssCKs, r. b.