The Tiffin tribune. [volume] (Tiffin, Ohio) 1848-1859, 1858-09-17
WIT AND HUmOR,

on ne tore Dig hole in the sleeve 'Nou
are right Tor once quietly ohimed in bis
friend Jim.
Why are pen-mahefs the most dis.
honest persons in the world7 Answer
because they make people steel pens aud
say they do wriie.
The diamond fallen into a dunebill. IL
not the less precious; aud tho dust raised
by the high winds TO heaven, is not the
less vllo
Jones-'Ah, times are bard enough. 1
dnSd on oorned beef and cabbage yes.
terday.'
Brown-'wby. what did you with tha,
pair OF ducks | saw you pay q dollar aud
Jones-'oh, sh, yes. Well, I had
.hem besijes'
Pluiarch speaks Of a long white beard
OF an old Laconian, who, on being asked
/ why no let IL grow TO such a length, ra-
piled 1t is that having my white beard
continually before my eyes, l may do
nothing unworthy Of its whi,enoss'
The Duke do'Roqulaure was one dsv
told that two ladies' Of the court had quarl
relied and very much abused each other.
Have they called each othor uglv?' ask
cd the Duke. No Very WE'LL an.
swered he, thop l viii undertake 10 re-.
concilo them
Carrie A. Clark thus writes 10 the
Louisville Journal:
l bring the heart love; stainless hosrg.
As fresh aud pure as tho mountain snow
Still echoing back, with a cheerful strain,
The song you taught il long ago.
IT'S an humble thing.
Tie gift bring.
Yet my all. my fortune aud MY stors,
And bring it to thee. can bring nn
more.
What more could her lover ashl A
stainless beart, a fortune and sfoisl--
possibly dry goods store, Hold on TO
the gal.
A farmer who had employed green
Emerulder, ordered him to give tho mule
some corn in the ear. On lis coming 10,
the farmer asked.
well. Pat did you give She eoTu?"
"To be snra L did !"
4 GLOW did you give III"
And sure. as yez told me. in the ear"
but how much did you give2"
"Well, yea soc. the crayture wouldn't
f hould still, and switching his cara abouG
50, l couldn't get but about isl ful 10
both ears.
In tho early part Of tho American var.
Franklin went TO Paris, in hopes Of Oh.
aining peouniary resources from Franco.
, For some time he was unsuccessful, and
being invited to a large party. a gentls.
man observed, IT must be owned sir, thas
America now exhibits TO us a grand and
magnificent speciaclep True, replied
the doctor, dyly, but the spectators 10
not payP
A lady who rougod very highly, com.
planned TO Rigaud. who was painting hoF
Likeness. shat he did not use good
colors, asking where he bought them.
i believe, madam. lie replied, 'tlmt
you and both deal at the same shop.
We have been shown, says the salem,
| Mass Register the indenules Of sever.
al apprentice boys Of the oldeu dme. "a
which il was expressly stipulated that
salmon should not be served 10 them moe
than six meals week
! A young lady lighted from a stage
coach. when piece OF ribbon fell into
the coach.
You have left your bow behind, said
a lady passenger.
oh, no haven't, he's gone a ishing.'
innoeeutly rejoined the damsel. proceed
ing on her way.
Mrs. Swisshelm denounoes kissing at
social country parties. She never da-
uounced IL when she WAS young aud her
/ lips were attractive. How very proper
these old ladies get TO bel Why sbonl
not the reoolieotions Of their own yousn
teach them to have some sympathy with
young folks9
Jury. said a western Judge. you Kin
90 out and fud a verdict. III you oan't
find one Of your own. get the one The jury
last used The jury returned q verdict
Of suicide in the ninth degree
A Cleveland dressmaker has lately pnt
a card in her window. reading-'D Dresses
made lower than eyeFl
Now, We hsve no doubt there are sonis
people who don't care hosb losU lhs iadics
dresses are made, but we respectfully pus
in the Museums protsst against having
them made any lower than q, present worn
at least till our nerves become lceusiom-
ed to the present fashion.
Pooh INDEED There is pioos 0f qui-
ct but telling sarcasm 10 ths following:
"Got paper 10 spareY'
'sYes, sir, here Is one of our hst.--
Would you like 10 subscribe, cir, and
take il regularity"
II would. but am too poor"
lie had just returned from the oiFcus.
which cost City cents; lost time from biz
farm. fifty; whisky, judging from tbs
smell. at least FIFTY making d0liAr
and half lfactually thTOWn away. and then
begging for a newspaper. alleging ihathe
was 900 poor TO pay for al That 4 Whae
we call "saving ss the spills and wasting
at the bung-hole."