davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1858-07-27
WESTERN ETIQUETTE-A Yankee traveller,
who saw the live hoosier, wrote home to his

WESTERN ETIQuErTE.-A Yankee traveller,
who saw the live hoosier, wrote home to bis
mother:
Western people, said he, go their death on
etiquette. You can't tell man that he lies, as
you can down east, without fighting. A few
days ego, man was telling his neighbors, in
my hearing. pretty large story.
Says l, stranger, that's whopper!'
SAYS he, Lay there, stranger'
And in the twinkng of an eye, fonnd my.
self in ditch, the worse for wear and tear
Upon another occasion, says To man new
err saw before, as woman passed:
That isn't specimen Of western women, /
should thinkT
Says he, You are afraid of fever and ague,
stranger, ain't you1'
Very much.' said /.
Well replied he that lady is my wife. and
if you don't apol"gise in two min'es. by the hon
or of gentleman, swear that these two pistols
(Which lie held cooked in bis hands) shall cure
,ou OF that lisagreeable disorder entirely
So knet down and politely apoogi,ed
admire this western country mnch, but hlame
me il | can stand so much etiquette, it always
takes me nnawares.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1858-07-27

RATS EyERywngRE. iced aud labor in
the dark they shnn tile approach OF man. IL
we enter a barn ur granary, where hundreds are
living. we shall not observe any, unless We dis.
tuIb them in their hiding lace-. II We gn To a
rick that may be one living mass within (i thing
h, no mlrnls uucoulrnnn.) Ne shall nnt one ;
~ il va. dive ntu T., 81 that may he I'erfectl,
infested th,. result Is the same unless, per
cl,,u,.r n ,ttnngr one may scud across fnr II
mar. s,t, re-. renr. Hence it is that men sel,lum
tIiuk Of rats. becan-e they rarely see them; bur
if rats. could be made 10y any means to live on
tho snrface of the earth in ,ead of in holes aud
corners. and feed and run about the streets and
fields in tile open day, like dogs and sheep, the
whole nation would be horror stricken aud ul
ti,narely there would not be a man, woman or
child bat would have a dog, stick, or gun to ef
f.er their destruction wherever they met with
llem.-Rats their History. ly Uncle James u
TIE TRUE d oTRlNE -S"e'ldan said beautl-
fulk. Women govern us; let us render them
perfect: the II they are enlightened, so much
Ibe m. re shall we be. On the cultivation ofther
minds depends The wisdom ut men.'
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1858-07-27
NO. XXXIII.
Travelling ON Elephant Back.

Mr. Russell, the correspondent of the Lor don
Times. thus records his own experiences:
Sat the word of the mahout, the ancient pa.
chyderm knelt down with infinite condescenson,
and permitted ladder to be placed against is
side, by which we mounted to contrivance jnst
like the body of an Irish jauniing car strapped
over his back. We preferred that mode Of
mounting to the more usual way of putting ones
foot on The animals probosis, aud holding on by
the lower flap of his huge India rubber looking
ear, while he by 3 gentle cut upwards OF his
omnficent spout, raises the rider to his back
or to the equally popular mode OF sezlng bis tail
and putting our foot against bis hind leg, which
the animal eIevates at the word of command till
the biped is high enough to scramble TO his seat
in the howdal. VI, sat back to back, two at
each side, nicely balanced, and, having UNDER
gone two smart shocks OF an earthquake, while
our friend, n two great heaves, fore and aft, got
to his feet and proceeded ON our journey.
cannot say, notwithstanding the honor and glory
of the thing, that the elephant is an animal
which makes favorable impression as means
OF cplnotion. The only thing to which can
compare the pitching fore and att, as he rises
and falls in his stride, is the riding OF light
collier brig in tideway. One Of the party was
soon sickened, and the Others were engaged,
with great severity of aspect, in holding Oh to
the rails of tho vessel, like grim death to
uackstay." And SO we went on till dawn, very
sleepy, tiglt-ropy and ncddy. We reused up to
an attitude OF attention, at the sight of broad
and deep looking river, which looked anything
but inviting under the combined raysof the set
ting moon and the rising sun. As these saga
cious and highly intellectual beings are horribly
fond of practical jokes, we watched the depth OF
the water with some anxiety, lest our elephant
should avoid the trouble of swimming by the
simple expedient OF letting his feet drop and
walking ON the bottom, while the top OF his pro-
boscis, held above water, supplied him with air;
but the stream was no more than six or seven
feet deep, and We crossed without an involunta-
rv ablutionn
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1858-07-27

CouLDNT SPEAK FRENoH.-Au American at
Paris went TO restaurant To get his dinner
Unacqnainted with the French language, yet IN
willing TO show his ignorance, he pointed to The
first ne on the bill Of fare, aud the polite wait,
er brought him plate of fragrant beef soup,
This was very we'll aud when 1T Was despric''ed
he pointed 10 the second line. The waiter nn
de,stood him perfectly and brought vegetable
soup. "Ra,her more soup than ] want, thought
he, .'but it i. Paris fashion" He daily po'nIed
to the third line, and plate ct tap"ca broth
was brought linn; again to the f'nrth, AMI was
furnished with bowl of preparation of arrow
root. He tried the fifth line, and was supplied
with some Cruel kept for nvids. The hys1nnd.
els now supposed that they, now saw AN nnt"r
innate individual who had lost all his teeth, aud
our frjend tried To get as far from th, s"np as
,n,ssble pointed in despair to the lasl line on
the bill Of fare. The intelligent waiter, who
aw at once what he wanted, p"litey handed!
biu- bunch If tooth picks. This was too
much-our country mau paid his bill and in
cuntinently left.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1858-07-27
singular Couple-Compensatlon.

| Along with my brother, who was collecting
matter for work he was about to puoish,
visited the intel esting town Ut Hexliam-in'er
esting at least to him, for it was fne heid 1or
historical research: although, for my own Par',
found little besides its ancient church. Inc
circumstance which, more than any thing else,
obtained the dingy town lasting place in my
memory, was our taking lodging with an ex'
traordlnary pair, HI old man and woman-bus.
band and wife-who lived by themselves, with
ont child or servant. subsisting on the letting OF
their parlor and two hedrOnns. They were tall,
thin aud erect, though each seventy years ofsge.
When we knocked az the door tor admittaDce,
they answered it together. II we rang the bell,
the husband and wife invariably appeared side
by SIDE all our requests and demands were re-.
ceiyed by both. and executed with the utmost
nicely and exactness.
The first night, arriving late by the coach
from Newcastle, and merely requiring good
fire and our ten, We were puzzled to understand
the reason Of this double attendance; and re
member my brother, rather irreyerently, won
derny whether we "were always to be waited
upon by these Sialnese twins" On ringing the
bell. to retire for the night, both appeared as
usual the wife carrying the bedroom candle
stick. and the husband standing at the door.
gave her some directions about breakfast for the
following morning, when the husband from the
door quickly answered tor her.
"Depeud upon it, she is dumb, whisperedm my
brother. But this was not the case, though she
rarely made use of the faculty of speech.
They both attended me into my bedroom
when the old lady, seeing me look with some
surprise toward her husband. said
",rhere's no offence meant, ma'am, by my hus'
band coming with me into the chamoer-hes
stone blind"
"Poor man ~ l exclaimed. "But why, then,
does he not sit stil3 Why does he accompany
you everywhere2" -,
"It's no use, ma'am, your speaking to my old
woman" said the husband; she can't hear you
she's quite deaf"
| was astonished. Here was compensation
Could a pair be better lnatcheda Man and wife
were, indeed, one flesh for he saw with her
ewes, and she heard with his ears ltwas beau.
tiful to me ever after to watch the old man and
woman in their inseparableness. Their sympa'
thy with each other was as swift as electricity,
and made their deprivation as naught.
have often thought of that old man and wo'
man, and cannot but hope, that, as in-lite they
were inseparabe aud indispensable to each 9th
er. SO in death they might not be divided: but
either be spared the terrible calamity of being
alone in the world. -Cham6ers s Journal.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1858-07-27

FlooREDBY TIE SYNONYMS AGAIN.-"Ah" said
Monsieur to his friend Smtfin, "nIy sweetheart
has given me do mitten."
"Indped; how did that llappen2"
'Fell, thought must Y" TO make her Won
visit before leave town; >n step IN de side "i
Dc room, nnd dare behold her beautiful person
stretch out on Won lazy"
"A lounge you meau."
"Ah, yes, Won lounge And den make Won
we're polite branch, and
"Ynn mean polite bow"
"Ah, yes. Won bough. And den say we're
sure she would be rotten, il did not come to
see her before l."
"You said what2"
81 said she would be rotten If"
"That'> enough; you have put your foot in 1t,
% be sure"
mo. sare, put my foot ont of it; for she
SAYS she would call her sacre big brother, and
keek me cat | had intention t" say mortified,
but could not link oi de v0rd, and morliiy and
rot is all lie same US Won in my dicIionaire."
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1858-07-27

WHAT Is AN IDoL2 THE throne of the idol
of Juegeruaut wa- placed on stupendons caI
or tower, about sixty feet .in height, resting "'
wheels which indented the ground deeply, a.
they turned slowly under the ponderous machine
Attached TO it were six cables, ot the size and
length OF ships cable, oy which the people
drew it along. Upon the tower were the priests
and satellites of the idol surrounding the throne.
The idol is block of wood having friglIfnI
visage, painted black, with n distorted mouth oi
a bloody culor. His arms are Of gold and he
is dressed in gorgeous apparel. The two other
idols are white and yellow color. Five ele
plants preceded the three towers, having tow
ering flags, dressed in crimson caparisons, and
having bells hanging to their cawrsons, which
sounded musically as they moved.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1858-07-27

LIES UNCERTAIN FUTURE. 30 years
sgo. SO refers the Louisville Journal to his un-
happy quarrel, when Sir Edward Lvtton Buwer
was bridegroom, and the present Lady Bulwer
his bride, that exquisite pnetesS, VI. T. IL
wrote and published an account OF their charac
ters and personal appearance. They were both
quite young, and each of them was in delicate
health. The bridegroom was described as pale
and fascinating, and the bride was painted as I"
fragile and fairy like creature of surprising love
lines The tender tints of her cheek We're said
to be like rose leaves crushed on ivory" The
description was read everywhere, aud the public
admiration and the public sympathy were deeply
excited for the charming young par, who, II
was thought, must soon pass away from worid
roo coarse and rude for such gentle aud lovely
natures as theirs.
Little dreamed the reader, that, after very
few years, the gentle bridegroom would strike
the tender bride; that she would seek redress by
publishing series of coarse, fierce and vltupera'
tive novels and pamphlets against him; ana that
after few more years, she, grown to sturdy
redfaced and muscular woman, would pursue
him in his canvass for Parliament, take her stand
upon the hustings in reply TO his pubic speeches,
call upon him to confront her, shout coward
at him in his precipitate flight from her pres
ence, and announce her determination to perSe-
cute him till he should cry tor mercy, ana hum
bly make her amends for all his vlllalnles.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1858-07-27


SINGULAR METAMoHPHuSIS AND CURIOUS NE
suLTs.-Ab ,ut tour eas since, saysa California
pa,,rr. a uun from the Eastern States came to
this country to engage III mining. lie went up
To Tuolunue, and commenced labbrng IN n
clam on Woods Greek In short time his
hair (Which was of light brown, or auburn
coluD commenced To fall of, and Soun there was
nor a solitary hair To be discovered on any part
ot his bndy lie WAS rs guiltless of hlr>ute COW
ering AS marble statue. Singular to relate, the
mans general health was good during the tlme
ot TINS peeing But what Is more remarkable,
the general physical appearance OF the man be
gan 10 change rapidly. lie was originally "long
ltnk and lean :" but now he began to assume
Falstafiian proportions. Although large boned
person when lie came to this country, he only
weighed about l60 pounds, bat in seven months
after his arrival at the mines, his weight was
upwards of 500 pounds. All these things must
have an end, and SO did our hero's increase in
size come to stop Then it was that his hair
began to grow. But now, strange TO say, ms
hrSue appendsges, instead of auburn color,
were coal black. Instead of sandy whlskerS he
had whiSkers as black as jet, and so on.
Our readers will naturally think the individu.
al, after undergoing all these transformations,
had grown out of the recollection OF his friends.
And so he had, as the sequel will show. Now
the hero of this transformation, when lie letI lis
house, lett behind wife whom he loved as the
apple OF his eye. After residing here about Il'ree
years, he sent for her. She came full OF love
aud affection to meet her long absent lord
When the steamer arrived very large man.
with very black hair and wh>kers, met her and
claimed her as his wife. Shr repudated him.
lie demonstrated and explained. She would not
hear TO him, for she had heard of the wicked
ness of this country, and she was cautious
She endeavored for two months To find her nus
band that had left her, then gave him up for
dead. and returned to her home sorrowinl and
broken hearted. The metamnrphosed husband
is still here, and bitterly does he curse the change
i'm his fortunes which So altered the complexion
Of his personal affairs that even his own wife
cannot recognize him. At present there is not
he least prospect of his losing his superabundaDt
flesh, or of his hair changing color.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1858-07-27

AYEoDorE or HENRY CLAY.-lhe great states'
man and ,ratur WAS travelling sumewhers 'oul
VEST aud put up for tile night at country 'aV
.rn. Nine host in looking over the register,
discovered tue name ot Henry Clay. There WA
nut Que Clay Could it be possible that he
ind lhi, distinguished man under his roof.
He WA, a.tonisIed, delighted. Next morning.
=, s.un AS the great lnau appeared, the admira.
ble Bunifacs blstled forward, and made his rude
bow.
Mr. Clay, believe sir 2 said he.
Tint is my ralne, said the gentleman, in his
atfable tone.
Mr.. Clay, the Congressman
yes SIR
well. sir, heard of you, and thought I'd Just
ask /; you wouldn't give me and my old woman
u little speech before you goP
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1858-07-27

"why Mar, u" said a lady to her Hbernian
assistunt, don't pour that water on the tea, it
has not boiled yet.
.O,h, yes lnlrrn, its billed! It billed like eve.
rythrne this mornin' before breakfast !; and /
saved the water purpose tor tsy this evenin'.n
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1858-07-27

IoE MAKING BY STEAM-We learn from our
London exchanges. that Mr.. Harrison, OF Gee
long, colony of Victoria, has invented an ice
making machine, driven by steam power, capa.
BILE of turning out ten thousand pounds of solid
ice per day. The process is very simple, as will
be seen by the following description
"The refrigeration is produced by the evapo
ration of ether in vacuum; and the peculiarly
of the invention consists in the arrangements
for evaporating the ether at low temperature,
and condensing it at higher, precisely the re-
verse OF ordinary evaporatng processes, lhe
ether is contained in fright vessels relieved
from the pressure of the atmosphere. The cyl
nder in the centre ofthe apparatus Is lifted WIN
valves. so that each stroke of the piston with
draws "A quantity of ether vapor from the left-
hand vessels and forces itintoa condeneing yes
sci ON the right hand Where the vapor is rails
ed. an intense cold is produced; where it is con
den,ed, corresponding degree OF heat Is evov'
ed. The ether, after resumng the liquid state,
returns by self regulating valve to tile evapo
rating vessel, aud the process thus continues un'
nrerrnptedly, without requiring any attent"h'
and without the slightest WASTE of nia'erla'.
Tie expense of The process is merely that OF
the mutive power; the ice is formed III olocK
muulds of ,uy size required. This Invention
will be Invaluable in hot climates, where Ice l.
n priceless luxury, aud has To be Transported
from northern clnes ut an immense cost, and l.
then only attainable on ,he sea board whilst by
This new method it can be made anywllere at an
ontsid. cost of two dollars and a half per ton
Tn trnpica countries, where fevers prevail, ice
i one of the necessary adjnncts to tho effeclng
of cures. aud were it really obtanablr, no"
many valuable lives might be saved! Nor does
he utility Of the invention rest on making ice
.lnne, tui it is applicable to the co"lng "f meals
and The saving Of provisions in hot climates and
many other purposes, where reduction OF ie'n,
peraiure is required. Mr.. Harrison VIII indeed
become entitled to the nppelIation OF a o'nefac-
r;. Dartar,s Shirt of the TiMes
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1858-07-27

An umbrella has been manufactured In Con.
nectlcnt, called the "Iending umbrella" 1t is
made ot brown paper and willow twigs, intend.
ed exclusively to accommodate friend.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1858-07-27

POETRY Y
History of Life.

History OF Lie.
BY BARRY CORNWALL.
Day dawned. Within curtained room,
Filled TO faintness with perfume,
A lady lay at point of doom.
Day closed. A child had seen the light;
But for the lady fair and bright
She rested in undreaming night.
Spring came. The lady's grave was green,
And near it oftentimes was seen
gentle boy, with thoughtful mein.
Years fed He wore manly face
And struggled in the worlds rough race,
And won, at last, a lofty place.
And then he died Behold before We,
Humanity's brief sum and story
Life Death, and all there is of-GLoRr.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1858-07-27

INpEoIsIoN FATAL.-During violent storm a
trading vessel was driven upon high rock, on
the Western Coast of England, oDd Immediately
became total wreck. Many Of the crew per-
ished. but the captain and his wife were provl
dsntiaIl, enabled to reach this rock, and elainO-
erinp up il, To escape from the waves. But all
danger was not over. Their place OF shelter
was crag, separated from the main land by u
deep channel, where the sea rushed WIN terrific
violence between the rugged cliffs on either side
The cold was intense, and they had Neither
covering nor shelter. The tide was rising rap
IDLY aud night was drawing on. II Was PLAIN
that unless prompt assistance was rendered they
could not hope To survive. Happily, they were
deserted fruln tie neiglIboring shore, and boat
wa, immediately launched to attempt their de-
liverance.
For The boat to approach the rock was found
utterly impossible, and the only alternative was
10 project rope toward them from the shore
by means OF a rocket, and then to haul them
through the surt within reach Ot the boat. al
Ter many truitless trials the attempt to throw
the rupe was successful. The captain grasped
the rope, by the means OF which second was
speedily sent on, and one was made fast to eacli
person. The mountain waves with every sue
cessive w surged mp to their very feet, but re
ceding laid bare the broken and pointed rocks
which were spread out below. 1t Was clear that
their only way of deliverance was by 'pringlng;
into Tho wave ut the moment Of its highest swell
and thus being borne over the danger while the
boats crew were ON the alert promptly 10 pull
them on board.
TIE wife is first to make the attempt and Is
Instructed what to do All is ready. The big
waves swell full at her feet Now, now !!
shouted the crew. "SpriDg into the waves,
urged tile captain. with a passionate energy
Aiasi she trelnbes, hesta'es, delays-only
moment but that moment is .fatat! She leap:
toward the receding wave, falls upon the rugged
rocks beneath, and the next moment is taken or
board the boat n mangled and ifeless corpse =
The captain, Ignorant of her hapless fate, tol
lows her, takes the wave at the swell, and Il
saved.
Human life is not frequently endangered by @
crisis so urgent as this, nor dues the case often
occur in which instant decision is thus necessary
for it preservation. But the guilty soul is eveI
in danger, and the moment even now passing
may exert an influence unspeakably importan
upon its eternal destiny.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1858-07-27

no THE PUBLiC.-The subscriber respectful
4 ~ informs the public that he is now in the occu,
pancy OF the House occupied by John b Scheer. and
hat hereafter will be opened at his house RESTAU
RANT and that persons from the country, aud other
places can at all times be accommodated with PRO.
VISIONS for themselves and Horses, &C.
Mr.. j. B. Scherer will give his personal attention to
.us;omers WM. WH0LEY.
StauntOn Ap 2S. '5S
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1858-07-27
STEW SEl;AR AND TOBACCO STOR.

NEW SEGAR AND TOBACCO STORS
/ Y OPPOSITE ruE VIRGINIA HOTEL, dnd atDoGashy
Iayeysy's Jutreirg StOre-To the lovers Of the Weed
and chewers OF Tobacco beg leave to announce that
nave opened SEGAR AND TOBACCO ESfAb
iISHMENT at the above mentioned stand whereat all
lines may be found SEGARS of all the must admired
,;r,nds. OF imported and domestic manufacture, wlth
,hewng and Smoking Tobacco of the very best KIND
practical experience oi unny years IN the above o9s
ness, and thorough knowledge of the same, nstifies
me in saying thar can supply Ill Demands and ad'
minister TO the taste of the most inveterate tobacco
hewers and smokers. hope my many friends will
1--WE me trial. and their Kind support, in my endeaV
II 10 establish myself here promising them strict and
lhful attention TO business.
WILLIAM BARKMAN.
stanton, May 2S, 1856.
w j. POINTS hoping. BY close and assidpous d, og
Wv attention 70 business, to be rewarded with the
aronuge of liberal public, willinyiteyour attention
% the following Goods:
Brittania Ware, Block Tin Ware,
Painted Toilet Sets, Family Hardware,
Wooden Ware Willow Ware, =,
And an endless variety of Plain Ware all ofwhch Will
be sold LOW FOR CASH.
SSy" Doors West of Union Hall.
Stauntnn Oct lS5k
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1858-07-27

HR. JAMES JOHNSTON, SURGICAL u
u MECHANICAL DENTIST, having been located
permanently in Stauron for the last four years would
respectfully inform lls friends and thepubc generally
that he sti continues practice Dentistry In all its
various branches with the srices regard to durabl-
" and usefulness
Office on the south-s' of Main Street. opposite the
I'D Spectator Office.
Stannton Nov. 29, 1854
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1858-07-27

Mock no msu for his snuL nose, for you can
never tell what will turn up.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1858-07-27

j. TURNER, PROF. OF MUSIC ,
N STAUNT0N, vA.-Teaches Piano, Guitar,
,uIe, Violin, Brass Bands. Orchestra, &C.; also Bal
ad Singing Pianos Tuned in the most accurate man,
er-warranted. Persons wishing to buy Pianos VIII
10 well 10 consult A. j. TURNER before purchasing,
- u selection made BY him may be fully relied upon.
residence opposite Presbyterian Church.
Nov. IL, lS5.-ly