Raftsman's journal. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1854-1948, 1858-05-19
BACKING OUT A WEDDING.
by SUI LOvENGooD.

biiSo SOIu JulCC SuIIt Wui
fur Bill Kar's foot, an when L got in site
ov ole Burns's, L seed nj onto fifty hosses an
mules hitched onto his fence. 1t wur Sicily's
weddin'. She married Clapshaw, the surkis
| rider. Now ole Burns he'd big black and
white bull, with ring in his nose, an the
rope tied up round his horns. They rid him
tn mill and sich like with saddil made out
er dog-wood forks and clapboards, an kivered
with ole carpit, rope girth and stirrup-lethers,
with loop fur the foot. sole Sock,'' as they
called him, he'd jist got back frum mill, am
wur turned inter the yard, saddil an all, tn
pick grass. wur slurgin 'roun too, outside
the house, fur they hedn't axed me in when
they sot down tn cat. s'Sock'' nosed 'roun
till he foun' big baskit what hilt a letle shat
tered corn, an he put in his he'd tn git it. l
slipped up and jerked the handil over his
horns. Now, George, du yu mo the natur' oy
COW brute Theys the durndest fools ov all
the beastes, fur when they gifts inter trbula-
shun they mos nuthin' but to shut thur eyes,
beler, an back an back an keep backin'.
| Well, when ole Sock found his sef in darkness
| when he raised his he'd, he made wun lunge
| agin' the house, that shook the daubin' out,
| then he fotch teller that mout been heern a
mile, an then sot inter an onendin' sistim
! bachin. a big crawfish wur no whar. Fust
| agn' wun thing, then over anuther, among
| which wus the bee bench, an q dozen stands
| ov bees. This krokin' down thar bench, fotch
out all the bees fitin' mad the hole air
full ov 'em, redy tu pitch inter enything what
moved. The house sot onter slopin' groun',
an the yard dore wer even with it; SO Sock
! list backed in onder bubble he'd ov steme,
a bIowin' and a bawlin', an the leder ov the
! biggest army ov bees ever seed out at wun
time; they filed the baskit, they lodged onto
his tale till it wur as thick as a waggin tung,
am stratc up in the air at that, lookin' sorter
like dcd pine kivered with ivy. They wur
| in fact all over him, an at work with all thar
mites, maxim him feel good am hot an i'm
provin' his temper mitcly. Ov all the durnd
times we ever heern tell ov, wur thar, and thar
abouts. lie cum tale fust agin' the ole two
story Dutch clock an fotch it, busting the in
nards outcn it; the lectle wheels wur all over
the fore. Next pass lie fotch up agin' the
foot oy big dubbil engine bedsted, an rared
it onto end and punchn wun ov the posts thru
the glass winder. The next fust tale experdi-
tion wur agin' a katakornered cupbord, what
soon kotch durnation. He smashed the glass
dores in, upsettin' it, an then stomped every
thing inter the shelves all tn giblets, a tryin'
tn back further in that derecshun. Picki
krocks, presarve jars, vinegar jugs, seed bags
yarb punches, paragorick bottils, aig baskits
an dclf wur all mixed permiskusly, an not
wurth sorin' by about dollar and an half
Next he got a fair back across the rune agin
the bord pertishun he went thru like it he'd
been paper, an tuck about six feet squar' OF
it in Splinters an skraps with him inter the
rune whar they wur 4 eatin'- An now tho
fitin' ov bees, an dancin', and dodgin' begun
Clapshaw' mann wur as deaf a dogiron, an
sot at the erd ov the tabl next tn whar Sock
busted thru the wall tale end fust on he cum
agin' her cheer, histin' her an it onto the
tabl'. Now the squawkin' an cussin' an tho
smashn' ov things, an mixin' ov vittils begun
They had sot several tabils tugether tn make
( it long enuf, so he jist rolled 'em up top o'
, one another an thar sot ole Missus ClapshaN
a straddil ov the pile, fitin' bees like onto ;
mad windmill, with her calker cap in wu1
hand for wepun, an a cruet frame in luther
, am a kickin' like she wur ridin' a lazy hos
r arter doctor. Taturs, cabidge, meat, supe
sop, dumplins an the truck ye waller 'em in
, milk, plates, pies an every durn fxin' VI
cud think ov in week, wur thar mixed an
mashed like it had been thru thrashin' ma
sheen. Old Sock still KEEP backin', an
backed the hole pile, ole 'oman an all, will
- five or six uther bee filters, an a few cheers
outen the big dore an down seven steps inte
y the lane an then he turned fifteen hundred
> pound sumerset his sef arter 'em, an lit atol
ov all the mixed up mess fiat onto his back
About the time he got tn his feet, ole MAJ
: Burns-yu know how fat, stumpy, an eros
$ grained he is enyhow-made mad snatch a
: the baskit and kotch it, but cudent let 6
IL quick enuf, fur ole Sock gist blowed, beller
= ed an histed the ole man heels fust up inte
/ the air, an he lit on Socks back an he'd tn
Z baskit in his hand. Jist as soon as ole BLACK
ey could see, he tore off down the lane (tryin
c tn outrun the bees) so fast that ole Burns wa
feared to try tn get off; so he just socked III
II fut inter the rope stirups an prepared hisse
4 fur the fastest bull ride mortal man or woma
ever he'd Sock tuck down atween the hitch
# ed hosses am the rail fence, an old Burns
: ftin' him over the he'd with the basklt tu sto
D. him, 'an then fitin' the bees. teilye ne ke
l. that ar baskit movin'. I'll Jlst be burned
q 7 didn't think he he'd four or five baskitS.
r ord see that many sometimes at once. Wei
ID Burns baskit an bull, scared every boss a
10 mule loose from the fence, sum obsarvin' bee
er a stepin' on each wun tu help him start IA
ID .,,,, +b,t opouiet am trublesum Mace Mo!