Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1858-02-24
BOOTS THAT WOULDN'T COME OFF.

To be in q strapped" condition is undoubt-
edly to be In bad phix." The strap" thus
understood refers to n peculiar condition of the
pocket Of ones pantaloons, and not to the legs
thereof, as in this instance of being strapped.
Most Of our readers are aware that an old fash
ion Of fastening ones $ legs on by straps on his
pantaloons, passing under his feet, is about to
be revived This fashion is not now 30 absurd
as it used 10 be, for Linton, of the Amphithe-
atre, having inaugurated a new style of walk
ing with the feet up, il became a necessity that
people so walking should have suspenders on
that end of the pantaloOns which is uppermost,
to keep them from slipping down. So straps in
this wise are wise. We don't say that the party
who was in the following melancholy predica-
ment' was in the habit of walking feet upper
most; but we do say that on the occasion in
question he was inclined to "feel up for the
ground" that he walked homo ~ feeling up for
the ground, and not exactly knowing which
end he was standing on. These are holiday
times.
He has wife-or, a wife has him, and she
told us the story He came home in the small
hours and found his way to bis apartment-his
wife apartment and began to make prepara-
tions for retiring, by sticking his foot into a
boot-jack with the design of removing his foot
no, leaving his boot immov able not removing
his foot from this niSht-capped spouse watch
ing the operation and his eccentric movements
about the room with indignant regards With
some ads he succeeded in inserting his foot into
the boOt-Jack, and made desperate pull The
effort was utterly abor,iye, and with the same
no result was several times repeated. He be-
came desperate, jerked and pulled himself into
fever of excitement, and finally turned to his
wife with
"See here-hic!-old lady, T'm-hic,- com
ing to bed with my boots on-hic,-I am. GER
tain-hic,-see- if don't-hic'-old lady,'
: You re coming to bed with your boots on
are you, Mr.. =! You are ~ screamed the
indignant lady, who had been anxiously wait
ing his coming, thinking something serious had
happened to her absent lord, and found that he
was only seriously inebriated, and that her
anxiety for his safety had been wasted " You
are coming to bed with your boots on, are you
You are intoxicated, sir. You have been off
On spree, sir You can't come into this bed
with them on, sir '"
I'm c-coming to bed with my boots on
hic madam, / must, Ic-cant get them, hc,
of, and L must-st lay down, hic they won t
come of, was the explanation of the afflicted
benedict
You are tight, you nre drunk, sir, You
ought TO be ashamed of yourself for coming
home in that condition., and the wife arose to
zee if she couldn't do something to relieve the
embarrassed circumstances of her lord. A
glance placed her unclouded faculties in pos
session of the facts in the case, and she pointed
out the course to be pursued with him.
Mr.. -, you'd better unbutton either
your suspenders or your straps, or you III never
get your boots of, sir
At this Mr. -, with the amiable philoso-
ply OF tipsy man, got very angry. but finally
found himself reduced to the humiliating ne
cessity of taking his wife advice. He had
purchased and worn for the first time that day
pair of the new tangled strapped pantalOons.