Smyrna times., 1858-04-01
HUMOROUS.


0E- Virginia sends to the Drawer the follow
ing Impromptu rhyme, sad to have been made
in meeting time:
IL Was at ii prayer-meetlng, Whe1, the choris-
ter being absent, the presiding elder, whose
name Jeeter. called upon one of the dea-
cous and said, after reading a hymn,
Brother Neon,
VIII ven raise a tuner
The deacon lifted up his voice, but instead of
singing at once, he inquired,
Brother Jeeler,
Whats the metre =
This being satisfactorily answered, Deacon
Moon pitched the tune.
%" A Montreal correspondent says that he
reads sign in one of the streets Of that city
IN these words: Fresh eggs laid here every
morning by Betty Briggs"
o. We had heard of Judge Dooly, of Geor-
gla, before we receI> ed the following letter from
Msslssippian. Iudeed we believe the Judge
has been drawn in the Drawer already, and wlli
be there again. Our TREND writes:
Judge Dooly was man Of unduubt bravery
as wel as waggery. Once on a time he had
the misfortune to offend Judge White, who wore
one cork leg, and challenged Judge Dooy to
mortal combat. The two judges met ON the
field at tke hour appointed, but Dooly was
dlnue White sent 10 ask where his second
was :! To THIS Judge Dooly replied, He has
gone 10 the woods for Il bit of hollow tree to
put one Of my legs III, that We may be even
The answer was too much fer his opponent
ne turned on the only h9e! lie had, and ielt the
fcid.
0~F' In the borough OF H, some years
years since, Pool was prosecutmg-altorncy, and
Jake Wentz court crIer. The former was u
fellow OF infinite Jest the latter tlick-set,
moon-tlcCd DutCAn.0n, who h1ld his head a-onp
side, but had voice that rang through The
cuurt-house, to be heard u square off. Altxan-
der Watson, one Of the best hearted men alive.
Dnt modest to tauit, was one day Ia the midst
ot large audience ~ the courtroom, lIstessv
looking on. Now Pool and Watson belonged
to the same volunteer corps the GUARDS =
aud We're fast friends. a liberty nay be taken
with one . friend so, III a pa Use OF the buzz,
while the Judge was arranging some instruc-
LIONS to the jury, Pool, in quiet tone, sad to
WentZ (pcrched, as usual, 10 his bux),
'Crler, call Alexander Watson
Jake raised himselt hls eyes thrown toward
the CeIling, ms chin drawn down to his left
shoulder, and sung out,
Alexander Watson Alexander Watson
Alexander Watson !!!'
Blank dismay was in he countenance of The
party thus Unexpectedly summoned; IS porry
form soon made way through the crowd ana,
blushlng scarlet, he leaned toward the attorney
to know his wishes. Pools serious face was
inclined forward.
'Ahck,' sand he, in whisper, : | want you to
tell the truth
Wcil-yes--you know WILL
Then tell me, AlIck, have you now any to-
batco about you !
why, yes-I have began the surprised cit
zen.
Then give me a chew said the attorney, at
the same time giving Weutz the sign To dis
miss a witness.
'AleXander Watson, you are discharged the
court roared the crier Aud, long after, much
OF The fun in the borough arose out OF AIck
Watson's surprise, and POois novel node ol
raising tobacco while engaged in case.
Or The Rev. DR.. MaDton, Rector Of ST.
Asaph's parish in one OF the rural districts al.
jaccnt to New York, had Il man-Oi.ail- work on
his farm by the name Of Ned--a capital fellow
when lie was sober, and ouly now and then
would he 90 off on spree. One of these nows
aud theus had been unusually protracled.-
When he finally returned home sober, the Doc
tor asked him Why he had stand away so long.
'Ah! Dominic replied Ned, With a deep
drawn sigh, I've been an extensive traveller
since saw you; I've been in seven different
States
Indeed ! said the Doctor; and which were
they, Nedr
why first, Dominic, when left went over
into the State uf New Jersey then into high
state of excitement; next into state of don't
carea u -bit-for-any-th ativeness; then INTO
state of abjeci misery then inyo state of utter
destltutiOn; then into a state of bel pesS drunk.
enness; and must caudldly admit, DumnIe,
was. for the major part OF the time, IN fud-
died state
The Dominic told him that a state of repent
ance was the one into which he had better go
without delay, or he would find his last state
worse than any he had beer in yet.
or Some years ago Colonel Roberts was a
member of Congress from Mississippi On his
return some of his constituents rallied him tor
having taken so little part in The debates, while
the rest OF the delegation-Jeff Davis, Brown
and ThompsOn-hnd made great noise, and
attra cted the attention of the country. 'Well,
nv friends replied the Colonel, L will tell you.
| When was a young man | used 10 ride good
deal at night, and frequently got lost When-
| ever | came to the bank ot stream put my
ear to the ground, and ascerIained where the
water made the noise at that place always
marched int was sare 10 be the ShalLowest
place
6TA A pious old negro, saying grace at the
table not only used To ask blessing upon hi,
board but he would also petition to have some
deficient dish supplied. One day it was knowr
that Cato was out Of potatoes. and suspeciinl
that he would pray for some at dinner, wal
provided himself with n small measure Of tnt
vegetables. and stole under the window mex
which stood the table OF our colored Christian
Soon Cato drew up chair and commenced
40, Massa, Lord will dow in dy providcn
kindness condescend TO bress eberyding beforv
US and be pleased 10 bestow upon us few Ia
ters-and all the praise" = ''a''' ..."
(lIere the potatues were dashed upon the. Ia
BILE breaking plates and upsetting the mustar
8 r.. II .a