The independent press. (Abbeville C.H., S.C.) 1853-1860, 1858-10-22
The Privalo Closet.

unanimously that Mrs. X. should be employ
dc to do the job.
After the meeting had adjourned, the
guardian, who knew the inquisitivencss O
Mrs. H., procured billy goat, and place.
him in closet that WAS kept as reservoir
for tho secret things. lie then informed
the lady of the wishes Of the lodge, and re.
Qucsted her to come early next morning. rs
ho would then be at leisure to show her
what was not to Lc done.
Morning came and With it Madame X,
with her broom. brushes, pals, tubs. &c,
prepared and armed for the job, and found
the guardian waiting for her.
"Now, madam said he, "I'll tell YOU
what we want done, and how we came to
employ. The brothers said it was ditfirul,
to get anybody to do the job, and no, be
meddling with the secrets in that little
closet; we have lost the key, and cannot
find it TO lock the door; I assured them
that you could he depended uron."
."Derended on = said she, II guess can.
My poor dead and gone husband, who be.
longed to the Free Masons, or anti Masors
don't know which, used to tell me all the
secrets OF the concern, and then he showed
me all tie n,a,hS the gridiron made when
he was initiated, and told me how they Kill
led poor Morgan, never toll! living soul
to this day. If nobody troubles your closet
TO find out your secrets till do, they'll lay
there till they rot-they will"
II thought so" said the guardian "and
now l want you to commence in that cor
ner and give the whole room decent clean.
ing and I have pledged my word AM,
honor for the fidelity Of your promise; now
don't 60 into that closet "and then left the
lady to herself
No sooner had she heard the sound Of
his foot on the last step Of stairs, than she
exclaimed:
"Don't go into that closet. I'll warrant
there is gridiron, or some nonsense like
the Anti.Masons, for all the world II! BE-
bound. I'll just take peep and noboAy'll
be any wiser, and l can keep it to myself.
Sniting the action to the word, she step
ped lightly 10 the forbidden closet-turned
he button-which was no sooner done than
bah" went the billy goat with spring to
regain his liberty, which came near upset
ing her ladyship. Both started for the
door, but it was filled with implements for
house cleaning, and all was swept clear from
their position down to the bottom Of the
stairs.
Tho noise and confusion occasioned BY
such unceremonious coming down stairs
drew half the town 10 witness Mrs. Ks cf-
forts to get from under the pile of pa lis
tubs, brooms and brushes, into the street.
Who should be the first on the spot but
tho rascally doorkeepcr; who, after releas-
ing the goat, which WAS crippled for life,
and uplifting the rubbish which bound the
good woplan to the earth, anxiously iuqnir
e'l ifshc was taking the degrees.
Taking the degrees" She exclaimed. "It
YOU call tumbling down stairs scared to
death, taking things by degrees, then
have them and if YOU frighten folks the
way you did inc, and hurt them to boot,
I'll warrant they'll make as much noise as
did"
Il hope you didn't open tho closet, mad
AIN 7"
Open the closet Eve ate the apple
she was Forbidden! II you want woman
to do anything tell her not to do it, and
she'll do it certain. could not stand the
temptation. The secret was there; want
ed to know it. opened the door and out
popped the arnal cri,ter right into my fac.
thought l was a goncr, and broke for the
stairs, with Satan butting at every jump
fell over the tub, and got down stairs as
You find us, al! in heap"
'But, madam" said the dooikeeper, "vo;,
arc in possession Of the great secret of the
Older, and must 60 and he initiated and
sworn, and then go in in the regular way"
Regular way'" exclaimed the lady. "an,l
do you suppose l am going near the tarnaI
place again, and ride that ere critter with
out bride or lady's saddle! No, never! III
never 60 nigh it, nor your hall nuther. II
can prevent it no lady shall ever Join the
Odd Fellows. Why, I'd sooner be a Free
Mason, and broiled on gridiron as long rs
a fire could be kept under it, and pulled
from garret 10 cellar with halter, in pair
of old breeches and slippers, just as my poor
dead husband was he lived over it, but l
could never outlive such another ,iJe rs ]
took to-day"
Folly OF ATnErsM.-I had rather be-
'ieve all the. fables in the Legend, the Tai
mud, and the Koran, than that this uniyer.