Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1858-08-11
SUI LOyENGOODs GHOST STORY

m
fortunate start they got No man an oman
could ever get as clost as man an wife should
aIter ach h-Il owe a fuss an hurtin as took
place at Ole Burns's that day.
Iheys all got spite at me yet about that ar
truoOll, an swar warn't tn blame for hit
oie SOCK orter be made beef outen; he did
Int all; and yet the cusscd fools don't blame him
bit. lie orter have his burned haslet cut out,
iur gittln me inter trubbil arter he did all the
devilment, while / was to bar the blame Now,
amt hit hard that, bein a material born id
Tool as OtrRs L is, has to bar the blame of
the doins Of an infurnel stumpy>horn'd, curly
lOOl bull; an that, too, arter I'd dun him a
kindness, putin the baskit handil over his
horns, 50 he couldn't eat the corn while he wur
traylln; fur swar they d a mauled him good
ef they had kOteh him eatn hit He'san on
grateful beast, an I'll do him wuss n the bees
an ole Mills bull did. III wheelbarrer him
a lnto eternity, an old Burns too, mine eff don't
rs fur Sicily, ef | haint even with her, you
may Jist nail my tung to u tree, and then skeer
me till reels my whole carcuss inter about a
mile Ov tung, an thar'll be nOthin left but INV
bones on tn the toe nails, an perhaps a scrimp-
shun OF laigs, an pile of rags an har at the
eend Oy it, She doNt ore me nnHn nOar: an
I'll tell you how paid her up-bit war about
Isyin-by corn time when she married that hard
laced, meaty listed ole cuss. At next aignoo
time begin to SEQ he warnt her 90 affinity - es
SchOOl-teacher oman called hit when she
cut an her mar curried. George, did YOU ever
hev strong minded oman git arter you-a rale
ne oman! No" Well, ef ever wun does jist
you hight her like she wore whiskers or run
like h-ll; eff you don't, eff she don't turn you
inter a kidney-wOrm'd hog what cant raise
prlsties IN less nor month, you are more OF
less oy man than takes you 10 be. Oy all
the vermints ever seed lse feardest of them
They amt human; theyse 50 ekal mixtry of
STUD hOss, black snake, goose, peacock, brit
ches-and d--d raskil. They wants tu be
man; and as they cant, they fixes up thar case
by being devils Take care owe en-; you'd
better cum In contact with a commit ur a coal
porter than wun owe en- eny time. They'll
ondermlne your constitution sure
4rf Well, matters rocked along, all hands doing
es they pleased, and a watchin ov em-for /
wur arter revenge-ontil about the time the
hOsses begin tn squeal and tuckeys tn gobble
diskivered her :. affinity" She wur rannin
an oppersition limo to the old chicken eater, in
eahoote with q man powful with pills and
squts-DOcter Gus Fabin-an they wur maxim
fast time, all connections, and the male wsr
kerried pufeetly fust rate And don't much
Wunder; she never did feel warm tn old Clap
shaw; hit was the suckit riders charm what
tOeh her sgin her will. George youse got a
hSap tu larn yit- There am three variants
what kin charm wimmin an birds-the suckit
rider, the eat, an the black snake. They kin
du hit, an none ever misses a chanse. Eff /
he'd pet mockinbird an darter. I'd make
war on all cats and suckit riders I'D fill the
b9ryin ground with wun, an the big sink hole
with luther; an I'd hev a barrel full of hyme
books an claws es medels owe my skill in clost
shoOtin. l seed loaded shot gun once lyin
brOadside Ontu the counter owe CongdOn's
store, and thar wur a cat washn owe her face a
top owe hat box an a sukit rider was tryin tu
git COngdOn tn gin sumthin tn pay fur " over
coats fur the Plus Sepoys,n at luther aind owe
the room and durn'd eff hit didn't cock itself,
and then swung round like the needle owe q
compass, fust towards one then uther, dunO
hOr often, and at last went off-killed the cat
es ded es be id. and luther Darrell tore OF
four squar yards owe the sukit riders Oyercoat
tail. lie ris tu the ceilen an lit a runnin.
Thar's an instnk in shot guns about this thing
sartin; fur You never seed sukit rider with
one in his han, nor cat that luved the smell Of
gunp0wder.
Well arter i learnt what road they run
thar line over, all the pints of the case, 1
went tn work tn gin both a skeer, an him a
little hurtin. DOct Gus Fabin wer wun owe
en-; the boys called him Gut Fatty fur short,
and hs call u elm - imperdent Onedicated id
jAekssses, fur long lie wur just four foot
fourteen inches, an wur taller q lyin down than
when he wur standin up. His eyes wur like
Ontu two huckelberrys es tn color and size,
stuck deep inter big ball oy red putty. III
he'd been killed an billed in hogshead owe lye
be 4 4 made a soap enuf tn n washed away the
sins o whole know nothing cOngres, ional
deestrict-congressmen, lawyers, wimmen, and
all He dress d hisself W xii, and rid mon
srOus big black hOss seventeen hans high, an hi
Ontu seventeen feet long When l got done
with him his perporshuns wer chaDged-he
wurnt over ten hans high, an es long es one owe
ole Bullin's sarmints. | he'd gethered an hid
fust rate lot owe fox fire, all ready tn use
Well, one mite l found this black king hoss
hitched to a swingin' limb, in " sink hole'
not fur ahind ole Clapshaw' $ house, and he hosT
OreT the BloKHtatn a coilsetIn store deEtS SO
i tuck of the Doctors squar bodied saddle
bags sarched em, an tuck all the dOcterin
truck OuteI the yals an bOxes, and poured hit
inter his halfull big bOttil owe whisky, ssuck
hit up good, and jist drencbed the burned big
drOmsdsry hoss with the last spoonful. Hit wer
the biggest mixuy owe dost ever ever tuck by
man ur beaste, sepun owe my soda. stole
set owe plOw geers outen the stable an put on
the old black patient now labOrin onder my
PerskTiPshuu (wurut hit beyant common doc
term y then tied Jumps owe fox FIRE all over
the harness, inter bis Inane an Onter his years
lie lOOked-the ole black devil did-like Onter
star lite mite, ur convention owe big lit
enin' bugs mixed with q scattered camp Ere
Blu; his looks wurn't huthin tu his feelings
afOre he got dun with hit, if | EN- any Judge
owe medicine mixed with arful skeer on a
powtul site owe good hot hurtin. Then |
spiced on tn the Onder side owe his tail big
Jint Oge cane, pack full owe wet powder, with
tie open aind tOwards-his-his head. Now,
i meant III lite hit, and start him on bis
travels with tree top fast tn the swiDgle
tree; but thOt I'd fust sneak up tn the house
an see what wer gwine on, an what saw
altered my plans miteIy- Ispeck must made
a Mise; fur whom peeped through the crack
in the door, thar wur Sicily finging out bed
quilts Outen big ehist, but she left in her skeer
a baskit with two hundred aigs an n paper owe
lamp black onder the till. In jumped Gut
Fatty in bis shut tail She slaIned the lid,
tITnsd tie key, An huny ON her dress terrectly.
L Knocked a siasgerin sorter Onssrtin lick and
wur 50 drunk | cud scarcely stand | man
aged tn az Sicily fur some supper, An she wor
NIFTY willin an pleasin an broke out tu the
kichen tu git hit in the hopes that when I'd
stuffed my caTcuss, d go tn sleep. When she
lef so dtd L. for the thrashin mershaen kiyer-
Ell with boss hide and fox FIRE foch him up
c!ost ia the door Al tied stout rope tu the
hIndil ot the cbist and swingle tree. That yer