Bedford inquirer. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1857-1884, 1858-07-02
EPITiPHS.

ma expression The connecting link, as il
we're, with the wcrld Of spirits, human caprice
should be put aside, the purer and better part
Of human nature allowed to dictate, and eve
rything be done s'deccntly and q orler.o Yet
how often the very reverse is the case. There
Is hardly graveyard in the world, probably,
that does not contain some whimsical epitapb
Or memorial of the dead, which shows the wri-
Ter cared more for making pun, recording a
sarcastic distitch, Or perpetrating rhyme, than
ior expressing sentiment appropriate to the
place and the occasion. Some people must
give utterance to a laughable aud incongruous
thought, even at the grave, while others make
themselves ridiculous by attempting literary
task beyond their powers. We find in Horse
hofd Words curious collection Of specimens
Of tbs sort of churchyard literature, picked up
IN various English cemeteries. This list is
quite aptly commenced with the following cyn-
ical inscription written over a gentleman's
grave in the churchyard of Bedington
''Poens and epitaphs are but stuff
Here lies Robert Barras, and that's enough. ;,
The annexed is not only aippant but lu5io-
rous
ssIIere lies the body of Deborah Dent,
She Kicked up her heels and away she went .
The author of the following displays iuge-
nnity in securing rhyme for his memorial
'sEIere lies two brothers by misfortune sur
ronncd,
One died of bis wounds, and the other was
drowned.'
St. Albain's furnishes an original aud striking
idea in the way of mortuary literature, e. O.
sSacred to the memory of Miss Martha Groyn,
She was so very pure wi thin,
She burst the outward shell. of sin
And hatched herself chcrpbIm.''
4 victim Of misplaced confidence, leaves this
warning in Cheltenham Cemetry
ssIIere lies and my three daug ughtcrs,
Killed BY q drinking Of Cheltenham waters,
= 81 Ne hAt stack 70 Epson salts,
We'd not been lying in these here vaults.'
Here is one Of the pathetic stamp, cplIed il
Wiltshire.
Beneath this stone his own dear child,
Whose gone from we
For ever more unto erternity;
Where do hope that we shall go to he.
Bat he can never more come back to we.''
Pasquin might have written the following,
carved in the tombstone of one Strange, a law
yer:
Here lies an honest lawyer,
And that is strange"
What could be more expressive than this9
s.lIe did not do much harm, nor yet much good,
knd might have been much better if he would.
II breyity is wit, the next must be called
facetious
..Here lies John Shore,
/ say no more;
He alive
Iu-45."
In Granthan churchyard one inscription states
something more than is quite necessary:
ssJohn Palfreyman, who is buried here,
Was aged four-and-twenty year.
And near this place his mother lies;
Likewise his father when he dies.''
The next is decidedly Of humorous cast
s.Here lies /. There's ON end TO my woes,
And my spirit at length az aise is5
With the tip of my nose,
TUNED up IootS of the daises."
A Mrs Shoven, cook was honoged with two
stanzas, or, as she might have called them her
self, couple Of courses;
"Underneath this crust
Lies the moulierng dust
OF Eleanor Bachelor Shoyen,
Nefl-versed in the arts
OF pies, custards, and tarts,
And the lucrative trade of the oven.
when she'd lived long enough,
She made her last puff,
puff by her husband much praisedi
And now she doth lie
And make dirt pie,
In hopes that her crust may be raisea.''
4 reward was once offered for the best epi-
taph upon a celebrated provost of Dundee
The town council were unable to decide be-
tween the relative merits of the two which fol-
low, and both we're therefore placed on the
monument.
sHere lies John, Provost of Dundee,
Here lies Him, here lies He"
Inc second ran even still more remarkably
ssIIere lies John, Provost of Dundee.
Hallclujah, Hallelujee."
A LETTER FOR DENNIs.-sHillo, Nisther
Postmaster, and is there iyer letter here for
Dennis O'Flaherty''
Il believe there is, said the postmaster, step
ping back and producing the letter.
sAnd will you be so kind as to rade it to me,
seein' had the misfortune to be eddlcated to
rade nivcr bita'
80 be sare.' said the accommodating sss<t-