davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1858-11-20
How George" BOoamo a Teototalor.

A short time since, Young man living in
OgdeusbuTgh, y, Y, ah0st name We shall
call George, took 10 drinking rather more
than usual, aud some o. his friends endeayor-
ed 10 cure him, One day when be- was in
rather loose condition. they got him in a
room, and commenced convening about de-
hriHn fScmeHs directing all their remarks 10
hin, and telling him wlAt fearful objects,
, such ~ sunkrs and rats, were always seen hy
the victims of this horrible disease. When
the conversation had WaEel high s4 this
theme, one OF the number stepped out Of the
room, and from trap which was At hand let
[ a large RAJ into the room. None uf his firnds
appeared 20 see IL, but the Young man who
was a. be the victim seized chair aud hur-
rd u nl the rat, completely using up the piece
oi furniture in the operation. Another chair
shared The s1me fate, when his frir-a- seized
him, and with terror depicted IN their faces,
demanded 90 know what was the matter.
why don't you zee thh' cursed hig rat p"
said be- pointing 10 the animal, which, after
The manner Of rats, was making is WAY
around the room, close 10 the walls.
They all saw H. bat MI replied that they
didn't see it-"hs,e ,rGy no rat"
"liut there N!" snid he, ~ another chair
went ~ pieces IN Nn Intellectual altcmpt 10
crush the obnoxious vcrmiu,
tihis moment thcI again seized him, and
N''' ' f'IfN" N'NlI" iIlffN WV ffffff - ffff
the floor, and with terror 10 their flccs,
screamed.
Charity, run for dnc'or,"
Charley started lnr tic door, when Gcalg,
desired 20 hc informed "wl1l WIS up
"Lp" said they, why, you've got the deli.
rum trcmcus."
Charley opened the door 10 e, ONT. When
George raised himself on his elbow aud enid
"ttlriry where atc you goiug7"
"G0ng" ssid Charley, going ior doc
tor"
"Goiug for a doctor" rcjoined George
"fuJ Vhu'"
"for what " repeated ChDr!-, "why, You've
got the dulirIum trrucns.'
rlhr drl,ium tromrns-huyr 3" repeated
George. "lIow do you know I've got III, de-
liuum Tcucus %"
"fls, enough" soy, Charley 'lou',v COM
mrucvd sr,ug iufy,"
"Nrring rJl, :" said George iu sort oC
Uusing way "s'ciug rats Think You na,t
Doe mistaken, Charley
Mistaken said Chqiley
"Nrs, mistaken" answered Gcurgc. "I
0mf he MuH-i ! hgrnf Sc,H HD T0t!"
The hu,v let G,"gr up after That. ana
from that dly to thi. hr hasn't touched q
giiSy ~ liquor, nnd "hami s,-H Tpf'--not
the first rat.
The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1858-11-20
" Do You Think he is Married"

NY JonN J.. sANr.
Madam --you S ycr, prca sing.
Aud / cant ll,tluo tio tatk,
With the -liuhtrst gi0 ~ gurs,iny.
You would hardly need 10 osk
Dun'tyou see hint Of mtrriare
In hi, sober sided face
In hi rather stopping carriage
And extremely rapid pace
Ifhc's not committed treason
Or aouc wicked action DONE.
Can you sec the ialutrst reason
Why a bachelor should Wu
Why yyhuuld A. hr IN iiurry5
Gu'p loving wii' 60 grnct,
], q circumstance tn hurry
Tho most dipihed 81 ie't'
when ahr The man has spird her.
10 the grateful happy cil
Docs not haste 90 hv beside hcy,
lie MUST be hosidc himself
IL g. bat a t!illc, MAY be-
nu; observe his practicr3 tome
Whom h. ca,ws your stormy baby.
just A. ifit were his own
DO YOU thina a certain m-ckucss
YOU have mentioned m his looks.
l. rirouic optic weakness
That has crm- Of reading books
Did ,ru ever -r.. his vision
rccTug underneath a hood,
save enough fur recognition,
A. = yiVt person should
Could Copuchin be colder
When be- gltucrE. - ne muft,
Aia fncly rounded shoulder
ora proudly-sNc!iinR bust!
Madam think ofcvcry feature,
hen dony IL il you can
Hes a fond counuhial creature,
And a gerry married man
The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1858-11-20

SAN SLICK oN MATEiMoNY.-"Ill give YOU
word OF advice at partin, my dear boy
Don't marry too poor gall for thoy are apt
10 think there is no eeud 10 their husbands
pussj nor too rich gall, for they are apt to
remind YOU OF it onpleOsantly sometimes nor
too giddy gall for they neglect their fami.
lies nor too dcmure ono for the, are most
apt to give you the dodge, race oh and leave
youi nor ono OF different sect, for il breeds
discordi nor n Wcak-miuded one, for children
take all their talents from their mothers; nor
40, Lord says |, minister, how YOU skecr
n body Where uudcr the sun will YOU find
nonsuch, such Ms YOU describe !? There
aint actilly no such critters among women.
III tell you my son, said he. tor I'd like
aiore-l die to see YOU well mated; | would
Indeed III tell YOU, tho you talk to me
sometimes us u didn't know uothin uf wo-
men. You think uohody can't know 'cm but
them that romp oil their days,ui,h them as
you do but them let me tell you, know the
least for they are only acquainted with the
least deserving. III give YOU gage to know
'em by that is almost invariably, unlversal, in
tallibc. Tho character and conduct of the
mother is sure and certain guaranty for that
Of the dartcr,"
The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1858-11-20

SPEAKING our IN DRIAMs.--A correspon-
dent of the Richmond Dispatch tells the fol-
lowing in letter from ono OF the Springs,
"An amusing incident occurred ON the cars
of the Virginia and Tennessee road, which
must be preserved IN print. 1t is too good
TO bc lost. As Me train entered the Big
Iurael, near this place, IN accordance with
the usual custom, a lamp was lit A servant
girl, accompanying her mistress, had sunk
into q profound slumber, but just as the lamp
was lit she owokc, aud, half asleep imagined
herself in the internal regions Frantic with
fright she implored her Maker to have merry
IN -heI- renaEkiHs tAe tirvt
has got me at last Her mistress, sitting on
the seat in front OF the terrified negro, was
deeply mortified, and called upon hcr--'Mol-
lie, don't mike such noise Il is | be not
ntraid.' The poor African Immediately ex-
claimcd-'O, miSsus dat youP jest What
'spected. always thought II eber got to
de bad place, | would sec YOU dar These
remarks were uttered with such vchomence
that not word was lost, and all present were
convulsed with laughter"
The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1858-11-20

A SHARP REroRL--Ai the discussion he
tween Billinghurst and l.arrabec, vt Portage
City, on Tuesdly last. the Judge in the course
al his reply 20 Rillinghurst made some strong
pro.slnvery remark, which raised weak hiss
from the further corner of the hall. The
Judge instantly threw himself into an attitude
and putting his hand behind an ear exclaim-
ed. 81 think / hear n snake" Immediately a
voice from the crowd answered, "it is IN yt.Vr
boots Judge The Judge evidently DID not
relish the Joke .HiroUkie SsViItei.
ts- a western publisher gave aatiSs tha,
ho Intended 10 spond tiny dollars for the pur-
pose Of getting up anew tend for the paper
Tho nesi doy one Of his subsorlbcrs foni him
the following nGtes "DJnt do t. Retter
keep the money sna hqy 'ncv haad' for the
htprp
The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1858-11-20


! How FREDERICK TuE GREAr RJCRUrrEp
/ FOR TALL SoLUliRS In the town of Julich
| there lived and worked u tall Young carpcu-
ter. One day well dressed, positiye-lookirg
/ gentleman (Baron Won llompesch the records
I name HIM rHtrrs the shop wautS III stout
chest, with lock on il, for household
! purposes must be Of such and such dimcn-
sions six feet six in length especially, and
that is an indispensable point; ia fact, II will
be longer than Yourself think, Herr Zim-
t'mcrmuun; what liz the cost when can IL be
rVndyP Cost, time, and the rest, are settled.
"A right stout chest then, and see YOU don't
forget the size il too short il viii be Of no
use to me: mind ~ "Jd rhoci Getriss -
And the poSitiye-looking well-clad gentleman
goes his ways. Al the appointed day be- re-
appears the chest is ready I'VE hope, ou
mneXeeptionnble articleP "Too short as
dreaded" says the positive.looking gentle
man. "Nay, YOUR honor" says the carpenter,
81 am certain II is SiN feet six :" and takes out
his foot-rule. "Pshaw. it was 10 be longer
than yourself" "Well. II is" "No; il
isn't /" The carpenter, 10 end matters, gets
into his chest and will convince any and all
mortas. No sooner is he IN, rightly ilat,
than the positive gentleman. a Prussian re-
cruiting officer in disguise, slams down tho
id upon him locks il ; whistles in three
stout fellows, who pick up the chest, grnvelY
walk through the streets with il; open it in
safe place; and tiud-horriblo to relate, tho
poor carpenter was dead choked by want Of
air in this frightful middle-passuge of his,
N1mciof the townis given. Juich as above;
datpRot. And If thething had been only
portIlnr myth, is it mt a significant one p
But it is too true the tall carpenter lay dead.
and Hompesch got "imprisoncd for life" by
the busines'.-[ [Carlylc's. History.
The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1858-11-20

PFrrRy,-Not many miles from Boston.
two sisters 10y the name Of Pepper are cm-
ployed in the same establishment one of
them hHb red hair and goes hy The name of
"red pepper while her sister With blatk hair
IN known "a "bluck pepper" a male relative
is also employed In the same place, and il
called "pcppcr aih salt," hs haif fsirly rep
rcscniirg that noted oyster saloon mixture.
Neil her of these peraous by their temper par
take Of the fiery ualure Of their cuIOgmsu.
The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1858-11-20

PETHUUp PCrlWY An old lady t6llfr
The following tough ouoi "Whcn Was .
girl W. had a hen Of very maternal instincts
that i0r2O wears bad raised two hroOds ~
chickens annually a. lHst she passed into
her dolngc, forgot ~ duties OF her sea, aud
vent about growing Ike rooster. So an
moving win her ihul tremul0ua voice and
I'D 81 haF, AB opportunity wRs not long
wanting. a Whip prddlrr offered 90 take hrr
IN exchange ior goods, Not many daya after
the departure of tho old hen, the pcddler
called 90 say. that his wife boiled ihat Crltcr
three days without making M impression,
She Wus pcliaed, The very broth vns 0
strong that the d---l couldn't eat H."
The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1858-11-20

COMMON ENrERIENCE.-Jo Wesley SAYS
"Whcn was young was sure OF everything
in few years, having been mistakcna thous.
and times. l way not half so sure OF most
-thrugs Ur-l wdS before at present, l am
hardly sure Of anything but what God has
revealed 20 man,
~ 4 seFraRt heiAg sent TO match a china
plate, returned with one of an entirely difFur-
.ent pattern. After scolding for some time,
the mistress said "Stupid. do you not see
that the two are entirely different ?' mo,
num-" was the reply, "ony one Of them is
different"
I-9- A gentleman at q musical party, ,seeirg
that the fire was going out, asked friend in
a whisper, How can stir the lire without
intcrrupting the music P" ''Bstwecn the
bars" answered the friend
The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1858-11-20

horse was standing on Old street, near Syra-
more, ycs,crd " evening, dog passed under
meath him and received kick, which com.
pletey smashed his skull. killing him Instant
ly. The owner OF the horse soon after left
the city, hut had not proceeded far before the
horse fell aud expired. Upon examination,
his lc0 hind foot, with which he had kicked
the dog, was found to contain piece Of bone
SevcrUt inches in length, apparently part of
the dogs jaw bone. buried into the very quick
or tcudcrest part of the hoof. Tie hid died
Of tetanus.- Petersburq, Ia, Erpress.
The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1858-11-20
LOB PRINpING.

Our priutiug establishment was never Ia bstter
condition than now, aud Increased attention will
tr given N this hmurh NJ business We Keep
constantly on hand Paper and Gard stock, and are
nov prparrd 90 PRINT iandhlls Programmes,
Auction Hills, Bl Heads, Labels, Ciruulars, itusl-
nrss aud Wedding cnyds, So, Sc, a. short notice.
order, hy mall Nlll hc carefully attended 60, and
s,it -uff -'rvHr'ird with drsrs,oh
The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1858-11-20

iuIrMN MrAIDH HlCt --Pumpkin noel
formed Gi dried puuEkiu by grinding, 10 rrr
Of the most valuable articles known Tor feea-
ing swine, The pumpkin should be cut 10
Thin slices, and thoroughly dfiri by exposure
in clear weather 10 the raJ Of she sun. The
more thorough the process Of drying IS cfleti-
ed, the mare valuable will be the article f'r
this purpose, Good, wel-matured irut
should be- selected for this purpose. When
proper method Of using Il IL % mix ii Into
thin batter, or mush, seasoned with q small
quantity of salt, and fed vurm. Swine are
very fond ~ H.. Squs,hrs may be used In
the same way, as may also carrots and pHr-
fnips, both 0t which, when sliced and dIieu,
may BE- EASILY converted into meal,
The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1858-11-20
Our Idol.

Close the door lightly,
Bride tho breath,
Our little eArth.Angri
H. talking with deathi
Gently hc woes hrT
She wishes tn stay,
His arms about her
ilc bears hcraWhy.
Music romes noaiiny
Down from the dOmc
Angels are chanting
The sweet welcome home,
Come, STRICKEN w@eper
Come 90 thr bed,
Gaze on the nlcCpcr-
our idol IL dead;
Smooth out tho rinslcts,
Close the blue rNr-
Nn NundcI-suCh beauty
Was claimed in the sky
Cross the hands gently
Ger the white breast,
SO like q Wild spirit
S raycd from The blest,
Bear her out softly,
This idol of ours,
Let her grave slumhcrs
Bc mid thfswcet flowers.
The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1858-11-20

We have seldom seen any thing Of tho kind as
rr-ity A. tho following --LoWi'r'H@ JoUij'aE
TO MISS NJ l.. e,
"LA rrrIrG."
~ men. when making objects coarse and rough
on fiANdnv, tusel, gilt or common stuh,
G,lc all such things masH and hikc redundant,
ShuWing they had materials abundant,
But when at work in silver, Rcms, OF guld,
Make such hnc articles IN smaller mould
SIGNATURE found material was not granted
For making you the full size that she wanted.
She would no doubt have made you Eve feet hvc,
Olhc Venus heightJ hat could not quite couifi'c
90 gather raw material enough
Without aduiiNug some Of common stuH,
said NaWrc-"Shc shall be 4 frat rate article
Soul mind and person shall NJ have a particle
OF sub-tancr that rs not divine, ethereal.
but where the deuce 10 got enough inNNAriM
10 cant be- hc'pcd--l cauuoi make hrr tall
D make her precious, but Ahc nust be small '
Lexington, ky., 1852.
The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1858-11-20

iS- Robert Hall WIS orice asked what he
thotpvht of Hn elegant sermon phioh h1d ere.
atrd It great sensation. Very fine. sir he
replied, but man can't eat apwcrs"
The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1858-11-20

i-s,, The n4,Ae-uf Norfolk bad a fancy for
owls, OF which hr kept several lie called
ouc from its resemblance to the chancellor.
Lord IhurGw." The dukes solicitor was
once in conversation with him, WHEN. TO his
surprise, the oVl-kccper came up and said,
please, your grace, Lord ,Thuruw's laid m
egg"
VV During the revolutionary war, the
Earl of Dartmouth asked an American in
London of how many members Congress CON
sisted. 10 which the reply was, "FiGy-two."
WHY, that + the number of cardN ia a
pack suid his lurdship; pray how many
knavcs are there ," mot one rrturned the
republican please to recollcci-,iha knnyes
are court cards"
ts Old Master Brown brought his ferue
dowr--liS face vas angry aud red "Now,
Anthony Clair gS seat yourself there, along
with the girls" be said. Then Anthony
Clair, with mortified air, and his chin down
on his breast, crcpt slowly away. aud sat all
thc'day by tnr glrI that loved him best
.v us Mr. Brown a man of means ?" ask
ed gentleman ur old Mrs. Fizzctnn, refer
ring 10 ore OF her ucighbors. .'Wcll, reck-
ON he ought to be-" drawled out the old
heldHmc, "ior he is just the meancst man in
town"
t-S'- a traveller, relating his adventures,
told the company that he and his servant had
made bity wild Arabs run; which startling
them, he observed that there was no great
matter ia it--"ior," said he, I've ran, and
they ran alter us
~ VIM H. Earcy. the oldest Of IN,
horst-uuinug brotherhood, declares that his
system is equally eNcacious in ,subduing
women and children US horses. Being
The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1858-11-20
gpocohiying.

We once heard O mau say lhpt be- had ~
great weakness tor beef steok," We know
of no better word than "Uenkness' by Vhich
to designate the appetite or pgssiou, fur
specch-uukng among Amrricprs Not that
Americans, especially those of New England.
love 20 make specchps, hut that they love 90
brur them. No public dinner IA punished
without spTcchcs. No present eau be made
10 quiet and Friiring inlllidual, in quirt
way, such ~ would lee most agreeable ~ his
Curlitss, hat hy i. obliged 10 be- stuck bcfuru
an audcnee, and 10 have speech made o.
him 10 which hc is expected 10 respond, ! ho
people nrr not content 10 lUt legislator b.
come worker for their interests, jn the must
rilicvnt waN. but he must make spocches--
M matter whether thrrc j. o call fur such ri-
fort ar not. II he will not speak, he cann,t
be- elected the second time II i "specehify
or uir.' but it !, 0t diunjr, that this Thug
is carried to the gtcdtrst extremes. What
there should Dee IN the pruccs, uf psljirg
down roast beef aud put,trcs that calls up
the idea ul intellectual entertainment. ~ can
not gurs, aud We have wondered why =
custom which every speaker would gladly suu
abolished - allowed to live.
Mauy i man is kept away from public din
ucts, " here hc would cninl himself ,rN much
aud be instrumental Ia giving utjuN nvut tu
Others iu conversation, by the fear that hc
will bc called upon TO make ~ spr,th.
The spr, hue !, . great hug.hrdr ln sensitive
men, aud II takes rare accomplishments. ur
rare brass, 10 cat With appti'r ant drink with
,puUuiuimly wiih the PROSPECT ct speech
before One. The thing ia rvpugnSnt To al
the associations of feeding, aud tho whole
theory ut digestion Familiar aud infIrnHl
conversation i the stuH with which 10 uinglo
cdihcs and potibirs. The mind should ht
free, uncou,,raucd Nth apptehru,iun when
either -rttnG. ur ,iigrstiun - go progress
E'en body h'ols this and unless SPEAKER
be ahundantly lively and funny uuhudy on
JOYS his talk. The company will vote him
stupid aud that viii be his pay ucnt 10,
speech which cost little less than the pains
,,f trtitt stnf iuun tit'nk thst V ~ y jg,-
hlc for a man to be funny and witty with his
belly full, The thing is shsurd
Wcreally wish there might he some way
coutrycd TO mnkc,public dinners enjoyable
occasions II is well for people to break
bread together. II tends To- the development
Of their social life, and should hc encouraged
and IL matters were allowed to take their nat
urd course and every one were TO follow the
bent OF his feelings, there never would he an
other dinner speech made. II is wholly an
artificial thing-Wholly custom cuntrivcd
for the accomplishment Of outside purposes.
Such tnNins rs man may Ar disposed 10
do, sitting in his seat, for The entertainment
of his table is well enough, hut this fornH-
spccchiyinR, on all occasions. from an cleo
tion supper TO the prcsentaton Of pewter
+aeer ~ -rttitcyrtuuS. SJJTTTQTdd T5pUJHcdH.
The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1858-11-20

t. confirmed tippler was bothered how
to honor his birthday. a brilliant idea struck
him. lie kept sober.
The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1858-11-20

We have seldom seen any thing Of tho kind as
rr-ity A. tho following --LoWi'r'H@ JoUij'aE
The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1858-11-20

IT, "Master, say, don't suppose YOU
don't kEow of nobody who don't want to hire
nrbody to do nothing, don't you 2' The an
Swrr TO this query was pretty much ofa
match yes, don't
The Nevada journal., 1858-04-23

A lady of Downieville thus writes of
her recent dream Il had, soon after
the fire, beautiful dream. l saw our
church standing in place where there
was a glorious, beautiful light, shining
all about. 1t seemed to be built of pol
ished white marble, and the windows
seemed set in slabs # precious stones
the spine rose, clear, polished shaft of
marble, slender and lofty. The roof
was golden. On the front was an in
scription; IN memory of the labors and
sacrifices Of the people of God, below.
| went in The wreaths hung there on
golden walls, and were heavily burden
ed with unfadir G flowers. The foorun-
der my my feet seemed solid pave
ment Of gold. Everything was trans
frmed TO a perfect heavenly thing, yet
it was the same church"
The Nevada journal., 1858-04-23

4 Great Project The project is now
seriously considered in both countries of
connecting France and England by a
submarine railroad. The distance is
twenty-five miles, and it is proposed to
have built a triple archway in stone, fer
three railroad tracks under water, com
mencing the construction at both ends,
and meeting in the middle. An island
is to be constructed in the centre where
the water is the shall0west.
The Nevada journal., 1858-04-23

Legislative Hts They said Mark
Taylor was crazy. There seems, how
ever, to be some meth"d in his madness.
lie holds forth at the Meiodeon, Sacra-
mento, singing his own songs to applaud
ing houses. Not lorg since he produced
song of some 800 lines, on the Legis-
lature. The way he touches off the pc
culiaIities Of members is amusing. Here
is a sample:
YrrNG If Nevada. am told.
Once on occasion took, sirs,
To read very lerg,hv speech.
Then print it like book. sirs;
No dnuht he thinks that little book
A mighty man will make him
Tall trees from little acorns grow"
1t may t" Congress take him.
There's HILL, fom old Nevada, too,
Who thinking 1t was risky,
G"t up bill they say. to keep
The strychnire out Of whisky.
The Nevada journal., 1858-04-23

New Ell norado.-The people about
Puget Sound in Washington Territory
are somewhat excited days with
the prospect of sudden Importance from
the recent discoveries on Thompson's
and Frazer's rivers in the British Pos
sions. Large quantities of gold have
been found in that region such as to lead
to the belief that an extensive aurifer
ous country exists almost wholly unex-
plored on the north ern border of our Pa
cifc territory So firm is the belief of
the existence of hidden wealth in that
Territory of Washing ton that a general
stampede has ensued, all kinds of labor
ers leaving for the mines as fast as they
can. Large numbers are leaving Port
Townsend daily for the diggings, which
are hundred and fifty miles distart.
The mines can nearly be reached by
water. in canoes and boats. The fever
of Oregon aud Washington Territories
has extended down the coast and carried
off several from San Francisco. Some
of the Bay papers point to the Gold
Bluff expeditions, and counsel caution.