M'arthur Democrat. (McArthur, Vinton County, Ohio) 1853-1865, 1858-03-18
A Holy Pack OF Cards.

richard Middleton, a British sol.
dier, once attended divine service with
the rest of his regiment, in a church
in Glasgow. Instead of pulling out
Bible to find the parsons text, he
spread pack of cards before him
This behavior was observed by the
clergyman, and the sergeant Of the
company to which he belonged. The
latter ordered him to put up the cards,
and on his refusal, conducted him af.
ter service before the Mayor and pre-.
terred formal complaint OF Richards
indecent behavior.
swell, soldier" said the Mayor,
"what excuse have you to offer 2 Ii
you can make an apology, it is we'll !;
if not, you shall be severely punished. {"
Since your honor is so good" re.
piled Richard, "as you permit me to
speak for myself, ant please your
worship, | have been eight days on the
march, with the bare allowance OF
sixpence day, and consequently cod
not afford bible or any other good
book" On saying this, Richard drew
ont his pack Of cards, and presenting
one of the aces to the Mayor contin.
ued mis- address to the magistrate as
follows: "When | see an ace, may il
please your honor, itreminds me that
there is only one God ; and when !
look upon the two or three spot, the
former puts me in mind of the Father
and Son, and the latter of the Father,
Son and Holy Ghost; q four of the
four Evangelists, Mathew, Mark,
Luke and John a five, the virgins
who were ordered TO trim their lamps,
(there were ten, indeed,) but five,
your worship may remember, were
wise, and five were foolish a six,
that in six days God created the hea.
ven and earth a seven, that on the
seventh day he rested from all that he
had made; an eight, Of the eightrigh-
teouS persons who were saved from
the deluge, viz: Noah and his wife
and three sons and their wives; a nine
ofthe lepers cleansed by our saviour,
(there were ten, but only one offered
his tribute OF thanks J and a ten OF
the ten commandments"
Richard then took the knave, placed
it beside him, and passed on to the
queen on which he observed as fol-
lows:
"This queen reminds me of the
queen Of Sheba, who came from the
uttermost parts of the earth to hear
the wisdom Of Solomon, as her com.
panion, the king, does of the Great
King of Heaven, and Of King George
the Second"
" Well" returned the Mayor, "you
have given me a good description of
all the cards except the knave.h
elf your honor will not be angry
with me-" returned Richard, ~ can
give you the same satisfaction on that
as on any in the pack"
L" NO." said the Mayor.
"Well," returned the soldier, "the
greatest knave l know is the sergeant
who brought me before YOU"
81 don't know" replied the Mayor,
"whether be be the greatest knave or
not; but | am sure he is the greatest
fool"
The soldier then continued as fol.
lows:
"When l count the number of dots
in pack Of cards, there are three
hundred and sixty-fve-so many days
are there in a year. The cards in a
pack are fifty-two--so many weeks
are there in a year. When l reckon
how many tricks there are in a pack,
| find there are twelve--so many
months in year. So that pack o.
cards is both bible and almanac, and
prayer-book to me-"
The Mayor called his servants, Or
dered them to entertain the soldier
well, gave him piece ofmoney, and
said he was the cleverest fellow be
ever heard in all his life.