The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1858-05-01
lTitcomb's Letters 10 Young
Married People,
NUMBER OSE
'T|WHIW WV"
Prom tho snrnRheld RepuhIIeAn.


You are married, and il Is for better or for
worse, You are bound TO one another as
companions for life, Did Il ever occur 10 you
that this Is a stupendous, momentous fact P
Did you ever think that since you came into
the world, a precious lump Of helpless life.
that there Il no fact Of your history Which
will No much affect your destiny as this
do not propose 10 inquire into the motives
" hioh led you 10 this union. You may have
come together like two streams, lowing nat
urally toward one point, aud then mingllng
/ their waters with scarcely ripple, 70 pass on
together to the great ocean, You may have
come together under the Wild stress Of pas
sion, or the feeble attractions Of fancy or the
surdid compulsions Of interest, or by force-pf
love 40 pure that an angel would think
himself in heaven while IN IL presence, But
the time for considering the motives which
have united you is past You are married
for better or for worse. The word Is spoken,
The bond is sealed and the only question
now is-"how shA this union be made to
contribute the mos, to your happiness and
+ your best development" ?" IL is TO answer
this question, as we'll as / can, that write
this series Of letters.
You have but one life 70 live, and no
amount Of money, or influence, or fame, can
pay you for life Of unhappinesS You can
not afford 10 be unhappy. You cannot afford
TO quarrel with one another you cannot af-
ford to cherish a single thought, to harbor a
single desire, to crafty single passion, nor
indulge a single selfish feeling that will tend
to make this union anything but source Of
happiness to you, 80, II becomes you, at
starting, to have perfect understanding
with one another. IL becomes you to resolve
that you will be happy together OF any rate :
or that, il you suffer, it shall bo from the
same cause, and in perfect sympathy. You
are not to let any human being step between
you, under any ercumstances. Neither faith.
or nor mother, neither brother nor sister.
neither friend nor neighbour has any right to
8 interfere with your relations, so long, at least
as you are agreed. You twain are to be one
Acsh--idcntfed in Objects desires sympa-
thics, fortunes, positions-eycything. You
are to know no closer friend. Now care
not how pure and genuine may be the love
which has brought YOU together, II you have
any character at all, you will find that this
perfect union cannot be effected without com.
promises. Human character, 10y a wise pro-
vision Of Providence is infinitely varied, and
there are not two Individual, in existence 50
entirely alike in their tastes, habits OF thought
and natural optitudes that they can keep step
with one another over all the rough places in
the path Of life. So there must be a bending
to one another suppose the brides are
few who have not wept once over The hastl
.rw6fds Of husband not six months marrtrt-
and suppose there arc few husbands who
in the early part Of thair,-naI1ind lfc hay,
not felt that Acrhaps their choice was not d
wise one.
, Breaches harmony will occur between
imperfect me and women but all bad re
u suits may IN avoided by resolution, vel
} kept on both sides TO ask the others pardon
for every oIenSe-for the hasty word, IN,
= pccvish complaint, the unsharcd pleasure
everything that nYakcns an unpleasant
thought, or wounds a scnsibility. This repo
ration must be made at once and if yo,
u have frank and worthy nature quarrel il
Il impossible. My opinion is that ninety.nin,
J. one-hundredths of the unhappincss in tn,
connubial relation, is the absolute fault, Ont
It not, primarily, the misfortune Of the parties
Il You can be happy together il you will bu
u the agreement to be happy must be mutual
{ The compruuiSr cannot be all on one side
! 1t is a mulish pride in men, and SENSITIVE
= will in women, that make the principal ditIi
Guilty IN all unhappy cases, say to ever,
man and woman il you have done anything
i which has displeased your companion, bel
II her or his pardon, whether you were inten
tionally guilty or not. 1t is the cheapest an,
! quickest way to settle the business On
confession makes way for another and tn
i matter is closed-closcd, most probably, wit
the very sweetest kiss Of the season.
IL Be frank with one another Many n hu'
> banG and wife go on from year to year wit
}" thoughts in their hearts TINT they hesitate {
IL reveal to one another. If you have anythin
in your mind concerning your companio
A. that troubles you, out with it. Do not broo
u over it. Perhaps il can be explained on tn
y spot and the matter forever put to rest
u Draw your souls closer and closer togethe
y from year to year. Get all obstacles out o
u the way Just soon rs one arises, ntten
to it, and get rid of it. At last, they will n
It disappear You will become ~onted to on
- anothcr's habits and frames of mind and p'
cularities of disposition and love, respe,
w w and charity Will take care of the rest. il
u sist on this, because it is the very first esseT
tial thing. insist on il, because belle,
- that If there be sufficient affinity between tU
or persons To hring them together' ana 10 lea
ls them to unite their lives, it is their fault
II they fail to live happily, and still more an