Cooper's Clarksburg register. [volume] (Clarksburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1851-1861, 1858-09-10
now HE CAME TO BE MARRIED.


HOW HECAMETO BE MARRIED.
1t may be7fdnny. but I've doneYit.-
I've got ri6 and a baby Shadows de-
par,ed-pysters ste VS. brandy cocktails,
segar boxes. booujack. absconding shirt
buttons, whist and dominoes. Shadows
present-hoop skirts, band boxes. rib-
bons. CATERS. long stockings. Juvenile
dresses. tin trumpets. little willow chairs.
cradles. bios, pap. sugar teats. paragoric.
hive syrup, castor oil. GOdEley's cordial,
soothing syrup. rhubatb, senna. salts.
squils, and doctors bill. Shadows fu
ture-more nine pound babies. more hive
syrup. ETC., etc. Iii Just tell you how
got caught. was the durndest. most
tea cusLard bashtul fellow you ever d id
see it was kinder ia mv line to be taken
With the shakes avery lime | saw a pref
ty girl approaching me. and I'd cross the
street any time rather than face one it
wasn't because l didn't like the critters,
for if was behind n fence, looking
through a knot hole. COUNT look at one
long enough. Well. my sister Lib gave
n party one night. and staid away from
home because l was too bashful to face
the music. | hung around the house
whsIling odd Dan Tucker" dancing to
keep my feet warm. watching the heads
bubbing up and down behind the window
curtains. and wishing the laundering par
ty would break up so that l could get TO
nv room. | smoked bunch Of seuars.
and as it was getting late and mighty
uncomfortable, | concluded to shin up
the door post. n so nner said than done.
and l soon found my self snug in bed
Now" says ], ''let her rip. Dance till
your wind gives out u And cuddling
under quilts. Morpheus grabbed me. l
was dreaming OF sott;shell crabs. and
stewed tripe. and was having good time
OF it. when somebody knocked at the
door. Rap" again. laid low. Rap.
rap. rap" Then L heard whispering.
and knew there Was r whole raft Of
girls outside. Rap, rap. RAP !" then
Lib sings out. Jack, are you there ?"
Yes" says l. Then came roar Of
laughter. "Let US in." says she. 81
WON'T" says |. "can't you let me aloue?"
Are you abed ?" says she. IL am says
l. Then another laugh. By thunder |!
began to get riIed. Get out you petit
coated scare crows T. cried. '.can't you
get beau without hauling fellow out
Ol O6u L WON ~ uOLlS Will SOu-l
won't SO you may clear out - And
throwing boot at the door. felt better
But presently. Oh mortal buttons I!
heard still, small voice. very much like
sister Lbs. and sad Jack. you'll have
to get up, for all the girls things are in
there!" Oh Lord what a pickle i
Think of me in bed, all covered with
shawls, muffs. bonnets and cloaks. and
twenty girls outside the door waiting to
get in! 1t had TO think. should have
packed on the spot. AS is was. l Filled
out among the bonnet ware and ribbons
in a hurry. Smash went the millinery
in every direction. had to dress in the
dark-for there was n crack in the door.
and the girls will peep. aud the way
fumbled about was death to straw hats.
The moment came. 1 opened the door
and found myself right among the wo-
men. "Oh. my Leghorn." erie one. -
"'My dear darling winter velvet" cried
another and they pitched. They pulled
me this way and that. boxed my ears.
and one bright-eyed little piece-S4l, her
name wss-put her arms around my neck.
and kissed me right on my lips. Hu
man nature couldn't stand that. and
gave her as good as she sent. II was the
first time l got taste, and it was power
full good. believe l could have kissed
shat gal from Julius CR ;ar to the 4th OF
July. jack says she, won't you see
me home?' YES says l. L will |
did do it. and had another smack at the
gate. too. After that we took kinder
turtle -doving arter each other. both of us
signing like a barrel Of cider. when We
were away from each other.
Ii was at the close Of glorious sum-
aner day-lho sun was sitting beside =
distant hog pen-the chickens were going
20 roost-the bull frogs we're commencing
>;heir evenings songsAtlie lp oil >wogs. in
TN their native mud puddles. were prepar-
ang themselves for the shades Of night
aud Sal aud myself sat upon an antigua,
ted back log listening to the music OF ma
tHre, such as tree toajS, ROSTERS and
grGnting pigs. aud no ~ AMI then the mel
'low music of distant jackass was waited
30 our ears by the gentle zephyrs that
sighed among the mullen stalks aud came
heavy laden with the delicious odor oi
hen roosts and pig styes. The last lin
gerng rays of the setting sun. glauciug
from the brass buttons Of q olitary horse
mAu, shone through a kaot hole in the
hog pen full in Sails face. dying her hair
with an orange peel hue. and showing Of
my thread bare coat to bad advantage
'One, of. my arms was around Sails waist
my haul resting on the small of her back
she was toyinl, with my auburn locks
of 1T black kue-she was almost gone
and l was ditto She looked. like a
grasshoppsr dying with the hiccups. and