The south-western. [volume] (Shreveport, La.) 1852-1870, 1858-12-15


Some years ago bill was up before the Alabama
legislature for establishing Botanical Medical col
fege Al Wetumpka. Several able speakers had made
lone al dresses in support Of the BILL when Mr.. Nor
gsatle from Monroe, took the floor and with much
gravity addressed the house follows: MIR. Speak
er j GaInot support this bill unless assured that a
distingaished friend of mine is made of the pro-
feesars He is what that college wishes to make for
us gular root DOCTOR and will suit the place eX
aetiY lie became doctor in two hours, and it only
cost him $40 to complete his education. He bought
book SIR and read the chapter ON fevers, and that
WIS esIoueh He was called to see a sick woman
eaea sg he tucked his book nnder his arm and OF he
went She was a very sick woman indeed, and he
fel5 her wrist looked in her mouth and then turning
to the husband, asked solemnly if he had sorrel
sheep. why, no, never heard OF such thing
said Che man. "Well, there is such things said
sbe doctor, nedding his head knowingly. "Have
yo g9t sorrel horse, thenz' '.Yes,' said the man
81 drove him to mill this morning. "Well,' said
The doctor, che must be killed Immediately, and some
saBp aleo of him fer your wife," The woman turn
ed 6GF cad away and the astonished man inquired
~ samething else would not de for the soup, the
horse worth hundred dollars, and all the one
he had mo- said the doctor "the book says SO,
and if YOU don't believe it / will read it to you
Good ZEN feverssheep sorrel or horse sorrel There
st." Why, doctor" said the man and his wife, u
don't mean a sorrel sheep or horse, but" "Well,
know what ] about" interrupted the doctor;
that's lie way we doctors read it, and we under
tAe If the house. unless my sorrel doctor can
dc ~ the professors, | must vote against this
blu 7 he blow most efectually killed the bill, it
is needless tosay.
AIelterprising travelling agent for well known
al6YalA,.i tomb stone mandatory, lately made
business visit to small town in adjoining coun-
TT. Hcaring in the village that in remote
part t lie township had lost his wife, he thought
he eGiA go and see him, and offer him consolation,
a grave stone, ON his usual reasonable terms. He
rfaI hnrr Iixfr tf,,J Int
the agent persevercd, and finally arrived at the be-
reayed mans house Bereayed mans hired girl told
the agent that the bereaved man splitting ferce
rails over in the pastur, about two miles. The in
defatigable agent hitched his horse and started for
the 4pastur.' After falling into all manner of mud
holes, scratching himself with briars and stumbling
over decayed logs, the agent at last found the be-
reayed man. In subdued voice, he asked the man
if he had lost his wife, The man said he had
The agent was very sorry to hear of it, and sympa-
thised with the man very deeply III his great Attic
ton; but death, he said, insatiate archer,
and shot down all Of both high and low degree. In
formed the manthat what was her loss his gain,
and would be glad to sell him grave stone to mark
the spot where the beloved one sept-marble or the
common stone, he chose, prices defying compe-
htion. The bereaved man said there "a little
difficulty III theway.' Haven't you lost your poor
wife? inquired the agent. why, yes, have, said
the man, but no grave stone is necessary; for you
see the cussed critter amt dead She secuted with
another mani The agent retired
Somebody says that Society is nuisance iii
fashionable" sense 1t is nothing more nor less
than stiff series of absurd and cold formaities. 1t
has no heart, any more than the rock Of Gibraltar
has. The password to it is "money''-if you We got
it, or can make the world think you have, Ego ill.,"
Brush up your beaver-neyer mind about brushing
up your character-and ''go IMP Learn the set
speeches OF the polite gossip, dress in good TASTE,
and keep up fashionable outside show, and you
shall safely pass with the genteel elect Society is
Afearfuliy and wonderfully made mn