The Athens post. [volume] (Athens, Tenn.) 1848-1917, 1858-07-30
THE wHANG DOODLE PARTY,

III uIeauiully Phlhlul STEW. lhe PROPOSE
tion to form a Constitutional Party whic
e should ignore demagoguery, sectionalsm an
: tom.foolery in general, to rescue the coun
: try from the prOfligate pecuations of poiti
t cal mouEtebanks and gamblers, has thrown
D them into terrible sputter. They manifest,
feel that they are standing on the utmos
edge of platform that is rotten in ever,
plank and creaks at every gale. II the bar,
suggestion Of a Constitutional Party will
say Mr.. Crittenden, MIR. Bates, Mr.. Bell, Mr.
: VIM. G. Rives, or any other man having IN,
/, confidence of the country at its head, throw,
them into such udicrous fright, causes sucl
a trembling in the knees, what shaking
among the dry bones, would there be by The
practical realization, which by the way seem:
now rather more likely than not, of the idea
The creed of the political whang doodle is
one of great simplicity, whatever may be
said of its beauty or patriotism. 1t consists
of two articles, viz: office and whisky Oc-
casionally these are reversed, and it is whis-
ky and Office. If the creed is simple, it is
we'll understood, and the genuine whang
doodle rarely seeks to explore any mysteries
that may lie in fields much beyond them
When in office he believes that the salvation
Of the country depends upon his keeping in,
and when out, he is decidedly in favor of ro-
tation in Office that he may get in. Ard as
to red eye, Why his scent is as keen when he's
on its track as bloodhound's on the track
of a wounded hare. What can be simpler
than the creed of the political whang doodle!
But nevertheless the whng doodle is not
without his mysteries, am more than other
people. The greatest mystery to him is how
any body can 90 beyond bis creed in politics
Patriotism he considers smyth, and to hear
his exclamation of infinite contempt at the
suggestion of such an entity aside from Of
flee and red-eye, is entirely sufficient to show
the sincerity of his faith in his creed and its
exceeding depth. The whang doodle is We.
~ pugnacious and believes in fighting for his
Principles, His weapons of attack and de-
tense are MS simple as his creed, and about
us effective. His logical weapon is "federal-
isnl," and his spear of attack, the boomerang.
For instance, the whang doodle party started
about year and half ago with thirty or
forty millions of surplus revenue; il has is
sued twenty millions Of treasury notes,
spent current revenue of forty millions,
borrowed twenty million more, and within
the year spent eighty millions, with pros
pect of running up the public expense for
the year now entered upon to one hundred
millions of do!ars The genuine whang
doodle, in answer TO this rather costly ex-
hibit, by way of explanation and comment,
cries out "federalism' He is confident this
will be overwhelming, quite IN exlinguisher.
The whang doodle has great respect for pop
uar intelligence, and says that the whang
doodle party appeals confidently TO the patri.
otism and enlightenment of the masses for
aJustification fits principles and an endorse
ment OF lis measure-says he believes in
measures well hcaped up and shaken down
when he comes to the public crib, and never
did profess anything to the contrary, which
we believe. He goes for no Scsi,slAo, .it.,
gether too liberal Tor that, believes the OK
knoweth his owner and the ass his masters
stall, which is scheefully conceded.
The whang doodle party, it is admitted,
has got the country completely into snar,
all by the ears, and one of lis chief tail bear
ers says upon his fonor-the whang doodles
are all honorable men-that the government
which il rules is the "most corrupt govern
ment on the face of the earth" Fact, a
voice from the TOtn'bS even said so, and any
whang doodle who would doubt the accura.
W WI any btHIHS CohHB IIOii SuCll " soulCe
should be banished from the Sanhedrim ms n
sacrilegious heathtn. Though he cannot
doubt the truth of all this he is not to be
foled by il, and he responds triumphantly,
"federalsm." The whang doodle is great
logician. The spear Of the whang doodle
is the boomerang, one peculiarly ofwhich is
that it, in skilfu hands,
Though well aimed at duck and pover,
Recos, and knocks its owner over"
The political whang doodes just now,
alarmed at the enthusiasm which is every
where awakening in behalf of Mr.. Crittenden
rs the dreaded head of the Constitutional
Party, have seized the boomerang, and hurled
il straight at the old Sage's head because
they say he voted with the Black Republi-
cans on the English bill; but most unuckily
for them the boomerang discharged in this
direction goes right through the heads of
Messers Quitman, of Mississippi and Bon
ham, of South Carolina, two especial favor
ties Of the whang doodles, who voted with
Mr.. Crittenden on that occasion, and then
of fcourse, the instrument, having made its
circuit and doing this mischief, comes right
back to knock over its political holders
This is n naughty feature in the boomerang,
and the uhang doodes will have to give up
its use entirely or il will be the death of
them.
The whang doodle party will find out, we
opine, before many more months, or at least
before the close Of next year, that these two
weapons of defense and attack, federalism"
and the boomerang, won't answer any longer.
The people have found out what they are,
what they mean and what they are used to
cover w. The cat has been let out of the
bag at last When the whnng doodles cry
out federalism" the people now understand,
them TO mean 1--WE want Office and plunder
and we want yon TO bleed freely for our bene-
ft." That isabout the English of what they
really mean.
From present Indications, the prospect of
the formation of Constitutional Party is
highly auspicious. With Mr. Crittendon as
IFS head or some other man equally honest,
equally patriotic, equally able, conscientious
and firm, and who would equally command
the unlimited confidence of the people in
every portion Of the country, the chance for
its success would be almost certain lie is
blind man who does not see that the present
party is thoroughly broken down. 1t has
not the confidence of even its own friends,
who, If we may perpettatc such bull, are
among its biterest enemies. TO prevent n
sectional party therefore, n broad, catholic,
Constitutional Party becomes Indispensable
to the repose, honor and prosperity Of the
country.-N. o. Bulletin.
rsys- Two rare examples of longevity are
recorded in the Naples journals, which state
there are now living in Sannrca brother
and sister, the former Of whom, named Nto,