Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, Va. [W. Va.]) 1852-1859, 1858-09-27

AurocRAr OF tue BnEAKFAst TAs1B-1Ae.
Professor takes a dose Of 0tl0reyerpp and .orites
a Preguds-The series. Of papEsrs called the
'tAutocrat of the BFeak fast Table, I, came to an
end in the last number Of the Atldatie 1toht6ly.
It's hard to tellWhich were the best of the
series. They seemed all best, oras the Auto
crat himself, would express it, THE best of ones
best" all the time. The last paper certainly is
written in most felieitous style. Our readers
who have paid attention to.the extracts which
sWeshazet taken from these apeFs, from time-to
time, llremember that individual who flourish
es in them under the title of sthe Professor y
The following sketch5of "the Professor under
ChlorofoFm" is SO indescribably amusing that
NE must give it to our readers:
"YoU haven't heard about my friend the Pro
sessors first experiment in. the use of ansssthe-
tics, have you?
He was nightly pleased with the reception
of that poem of his about the chaise. bespoke
to me once or twice about another poem of
similar character he wanted to read me, whichEl
told him would listen to and criticize.
One day, after dinner, he came in with his
face tied up, ooking very red in the cheeks and
heavy about the eyes. Il y'rye2-hels aid, and
bis hatand then his person, going smackthrough
the crown Of the former as neatly as they do the
trick at the circus. The Professor jumped ut
the explosion asiif he had sat down on one of
those small caltt01Ps our grandfathers used TO
SOW round in the grass when there were Indians
about Iron stars, each ray q rusty thorn Of
inch and a half long, stick through moccasins
into feet-cripple EN- on. the spot, and give 'em
lockjaw in n day or two. ~
The Professor let off one; of those big words
which lie3at the bottom Of the best mani yoca6-
ulary, but perhaps never turn up in his life,-
just as every mans hair may stand on end, but
in most men it never does.
After he had got calm he pulled out sheet or
two of manuscript together with a smaller
scrap, on which, as he said, he had just been
writing IN introduction OF prelude to the main
performance. a certain suspicion had come in
to my mind that the Professor was not quite
right, which was conirmedlby the way he talk
ed; but let him begin. This is theFway he
read it: ..s4sg ;.i5.as 1
PRELUDB
py ) I'm the ieIlah, that tole one day .S3lI E5r
The tale Of the won'erfnl one hoss-shay. AZ ~
Wan to hear anothell Sag. H5.s 5s5.sss
I'm too on modest .Ss, an BY
CAIN, iellaS IKE f fsilss's own SiS VIII
1Esllshs keep sayta.Rsll now that's peei
Dom you b'lieve .the'i no more int;
Lots in the kitch'n z good z that. .s q
Han us the props for mother shake;-
HeFs 81, g sIs for o. aasas l53SIn
Here Thought it necessary to interpose.-
Professnr,-I said,-you are inebrated. The
style of what you call your Prelude shows
that it was written under cerebral excitement
Your articulation isiconfused. You have told
me three times in succession, in exactly the
same words, that 1 was the only true friend you
had in the world that you would intuition
your heart to. You smell distinctly and decid-
edly of spirits. / spoke, and pausedi tender,
but firm. 80!
Two large tears orbed themselves beneath
the Professors lid,-in obedience to the princi-
pie Of gravitation celebrated in that delicious
bit of btaddery pathos, The very Law, that
moulds tear, with which the .Edtn6uTg Re
DieeC attempted to put down Master George
Gordon when that young men was foolishly
trying to make himself conspicuous
One of these tears peeped over sthe edge of
the lid unit: lost it's balance,-siid an inch
and waited for reinforcemen tss--sWeAed again,
rolled alittlefnrthe stopped, moved
on,-and at last fell on the back of the Pro.
fessor's hand. He held it up for me to look
nj, and lifted his eyes, brimful, they met mine.
couldn't stand it'll always break down
when folks cry, in my face,--sos / Rugged him,
and said he was q dear old boy, and asked him
kindly what was the matter with him, and
what made him smell so dreadfully strong of
spirits.
Upset his alcohol lamp,--he said,--and split
the alcohol on his legs. That was it-But
what had he been doing to get his head into
such state ?-had he really committed an ex-
cess: What was the matter?-Then it came
out that he had been taking chlorofoFm to have
n tooth out, which had left him in n very queer
state, in which he had written the Prelude
given above, and under the influence of which
he evidentally was still.
took the manuscript from his hands and
read the continuation Of the lines he had begun
to read me-. while he made up for two or three
nights lost sleep as he best might"
One of the most tender and beautiful of the
Autocrat's passages is that in which he dis
courses about the many hundreds of women
who liveand die, and go down to the grave with
their life's mission unlilled-without ever hav-
ing experienced either the love of a husband or
achild. The Autocrat tells his feelings both in
prose and inverse. We published the verses
the other day, on our fourth page, but we re-
produce them again to-day in connection with
the prose. Says the Autocrat:
The great mystery of God IS providence is the
permitted crushing out of Towering instincts.