The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1858-08-18


The following bit Of 2oca/ history
we clip from the Burlington Free Press
The telegraph often has blunders charged
to it which belong instead to the careless
and faulty writer's Of dispatches. An
amusing instance of this, one Of many
which have come under our notice, occurs
to us. Just after the Office of the Vt.
& Boston Telegraph Company was opened
in St. Johnsbury, Vt, a dispatch was
handed in one evening for immediate
Transmission. 1t looked like as if" it
had been written with toddy.stick, but
was decipherable enough; as follows;
To Chsay an COse E1press
Boston
Send me acHa cage up trip
tSigned,) y = y %***
The asterisks stand for the name Of
well.knovn keeper of Public House in
that village, more noted for some other
things than for his literary attainments
There was Il little indistinction about the
p in the up; it looked as much like
an I, and up didn't seem to be quite the
word TO use there either. However. il
couldn't well he any thing but up, and as
it read, 50 it went BY the next train
from Boston came neat bird cage, for
Mr. \ X X II with a bill of the same for
collection, and when, shortly after, the
author of the dispatch dropped into the
telegraph office which was also the Ex-
press Office, they were handed out to him,
only to be rejected with an indignant
grunt, while he turned to poke over the
boxes and bundles for hs--Well what
do our readers suppose it was he wanted,
and had tried to telegraph for Nothing
more or less than heg of frlpe The
supposed p was an f after all, and a &c
up trip spelt kcg Of tripe "plaii
enough - the unabashed publican insisted,
and to this day, if he is alive, we pre-
sumo he continues to tell upon occasion,
how " the first and last time he ever used
the telegraph" he "sent for lot of tripe
and got (explotive) birl cage"
RATHER LATE IN THE DAY.-A Greek
lawyer recently moved the Supreme
Court of Athens for the reversal of the
sentence against Socrates
- gentleman was threatening to beat
dog who barked intolerably. Why
exclaimed an Irishman, " would you bate
the poor d4a,L animal for spakia' our"
HAPPY IGNORANCE" Patrick ,you fool,
what makes you stale after that rabbit,
when your gun has no lock on it2'-
" Hush-hush my darling the rabbit
don't know it,"
The BEST AcID.-Martin Burney, whilst
earnestly explaining the three kinds of
acid, was stopped by Lambs saying,
" The best Of all kinds Of acid, however
az you know Martin, is uity assid-uity.
AN IRISH ADvERTlsEMENT.-L on
Saturday last but the loser does not know
Wherein empty sack, with a cheese IN
1t. On the sack the letters " P. G." are
maked' but so completely worn out MS
not to be leglble
A CONSTITUTIONAL MAxIM.-You must
travel through a despotic country so as to
fully understand what the inappreciable
luxury Of liberty means in the same
way as, in order to appreciate the real
blessing of health, there is nothing like
walking through a hospital
PRIDE Of ANclsrRY.-There was much
sound truth in the speech of a country
lad to an idler, who boosted his descent
from an ancient family. so much the
worse for you" said the peasant; cas-
we ploughmen say--the older the seed,
the worse the crop
A FACT, AND THE REASON FOR lr.--A
special Providence seems to watch over
the lives OF drunken men. 1t is rarely
that drunken man is drowned. And
why can't drunken man be drowned ?
The reason is, because his head is sure to
swim.