Meigs County telegraph. [volume] (Pomeroy [Ohio]) 1848-1859, 1858-08-10
Tit-&its.

Y I 9l[S.
IrgA wag says there is no danger OF
hard times among the shoemakers, because
every shoe is "sol'd'' before it IS ready foi
the market.
Rg"It is the duty of woman to be vir-
tuous, it is their privilege to appear So
Many forget their duties, but all remem
Der the privileges.
EzTPrenlice is always shooting sharp
things. Here is his last
Why is old Buck like harp struck by
lightning? Because he's blasted Tyre.
Ey'"Plain faced girls should dress
plainly" remarked Miss Leslie. Was
there ever a young lady who was willing
10 admit that she had plain face ?
Rg"A lady, at her marriage. requested
the clergyman 10 give out to he sung by
the choir, the hymn commencing
",TIs is the way long have sought,
And mourn@d because found ii not"
WoMAN.-"Gentle, patient, self-dcny-
ing; whose silly tongue is ever flying
without her, man would be a savage, and
the earth u desert" Without her, We
guess man would be rather scarce article
TO make savage of.
Efs"A poet once asked gentleman
what he thought of his last production,
"An Ode to Sleep" The latter replied :
you have done so much justice to the
subject that it is impossible to read it
without feeling its weight"
HYsrEmcAL-To see wasp wasted
young lady in ringlets. and an abundance
of tiounces, gracefully sail to the head Of
the table, anil with voice rs angelic rs a
tenor flute, call the waiter for Il plate of
cold pork and beans, is the most trying
thing romance can encounter.
Es-A housemaid who was sent to call
gentleman to dinner, found him engaged
in using tooth brush.
"Well, is he coming 2" said the lady
of the house, AS the servant returned
"Yes, ma am, directly" was the reply ;
"he's just sharpening his teeth"
Cyan exchange paper contains an
advertisement by an express company, of
some uncaled- for goods. BY an accident
the letter L had dropped from the word
lawful, and it now reads thus -
"Persons to whom these packages are
directed, are requested 70 come forward
and pay the AWFUL charges on the same y
PRENTICE on DREss,-An English vri-
Ter says that the American ladies' of the
present day feel CT affect spirit Of indie
pendence. We certainly have seen, at
fashionable parties, many a lady who, we
thought, might appropriately recite Smol
let's fine lines of independence
THY spirit, Independence, let me share,
lord Of the lion heart and eagle eye,
1h! Stcpsl follow with my BOSOM BARE"
EcHo-What must be done to conduct
newspaper right? Write. What is ne
cessaly for farmer to assist him? Sys-
TEN. What would give blind man the
greatest delight? Light. What is the
best counsel given by justice of the
peace? Peace. Who commits the great
est denominations -? Nations. What cry
is the greatest terifier? Fire.
R1-ln church, few evenings since, a
widow who was known by the entire con
gregation to be greatly in want of bus
band, was praying with fervency. ooh.
thou knowest what is the desire of my
hearth she exclaimed. "a mani re-
sponded brother, in broad accent. 1t
was wicked, but several grave persons
smiled on the occasion.
EE-A Western editor and his wife
were walking out in the bright moonlight,
one evening. The wife was of an eX-
eeedinyly poetical nature, and said to her
mate-"Notice that moon-how bright
and calm, and beautiful" "Couldn't
think Of noticing it," returned the editor,
'lor anything less than the usual rates--a
dollar and fifty cents per twelve lines"
Eg-A nobIemon having given grand
party, his tailor was among the company
and WAS thus addressed by his lordship
"My dear sir, | remember your face,
but forget your NAME"
The tailor whispered, in low tone
81 made your breeches."
The nDbleman, taking him by the hand,
exclaimed
"Maior Breeches, am happy to see
YOU"
EE-A Western man writes: "When
the laws ofour State required parties wish
iny to be married to get a license from the
County Clerk an Irishman, evidently of
full age, applied for the writ of execution.
After the Clerk had put the usual ques-
lions as to his native place. occupation.
&c, he asked
"Will you swear that you are twenty
one years old 20
And Bridget" said the Clerk, twill
YOU swear that she is twontyone ?"
Jenny straighoned up, and looking
somewhat Indignant, replied, "sure an |
can swear she's I0aJie it.
he got his license, and FASTENED of
to his waiting bride.