Amador weekly ledger., 1858-01-23
JACKSON AMADoR COUNTY, MORNING

slab of tobacker, pipe, sum copper ore
speciments, heep ov broken glass; cork, a
sprinklin ov whisky, squt ov three Of my
Lizards few permiskiously all over that ar
meetin groun, outen the upper ind ov the big
flax britches. Wun ov the smartest ov my
blue Lizards lit he'd fust inter the bussum ov
fat woman, as big as skinned hoss, an
nigh onto as ugly who sot thirty yards of
fannin herself with turky tale, an smart to
the last, hit commenced runnin down.
So she wur boun to faint, an did hit fust
rate; jist flung her turky tale up in the ar,
rolled down the hill, tangled her legs an gar
ters in the top ov huckelberry bush, On war
thar all safe an quiet when left.
Now old Bullin had nuthin left on him but
a par nv hevy quartered shoes, short woolin
socks, an eel skin garters to keep of the
cramp, an his skeer wur GROWN on him fast
He wur plum crazy, for he jest spit in his
hans an leaped over the frunt ov the pulpit
rite inter the middle ov the Plus part ov the
kongregation, ke,dif, an sot in to gittin away.
He run, or rather went, in a lumberin gallup,
like old wagon boss skeered at locomotive
When he jumped bench he shook the yeath
an hissef too. Bonnets an fans clared the
way, an he had perfectly far track to the
woods. He weighed nigh onto three hun
dred, he'd black stipe down his back like
onto an old bride rein. Thar wur cramp nots
on his legs as big as warnuts, an all over he
minded me ov crazy ole elephant what wur
possessed by the devil, with his years, snout
an tushes sawed of, an rared up an gwine
on his hind legs away from emediate trubbel
and tribilation. He did the loudest and scar
lest an fussiest runnin l ever seen since dad
raced with the hornets, to be no faster than
II wur.
Well, he disappeared in the thicket, and
ov all the nises ye ever hern it wur thar in
cirkle Of two hundred feet or thar abouts,
sum wimin screamin-they wus the skeery
wuns; sum larfn--they wus the wicked wuns !;
sum cryin-they wus the fool wuns, (sorter
ov the Lovegood stripe); sum tryin to git
away ur hide thar face-they wus the modest
wuns; sum lookn arter ole Bulin--tbey wus
the curious wuns; sum hangin tu thar bows
they wus the sweet wuns; sum on thar nees
with thar eyes shot, but thar faces turned to
the way mud-turkle wus runnin-they wus
the deceitful wuns-sum duin nothin-they
was the waitin wuns, an the most dangerous
ov all ov em by durnd long sites / tux q
big skeer mystlf arter bibil about as big as
brick, disipline, an book called kata-
plasm, few rocks, an sich like fruits spatter-
cd onto the pulpit nj onto my he'd; an as the
Lovegoods, durn eml nows nothn but tn run
when they git skard, jist put towards the
swamp on the krick. As started, a black
botta| ov 5aldface smashed agin tree fornist
me. Sum durnd perfesser dun this, who he'd
more zeal than sence; fur say that any man
who'd vast quart ov good WHISKY fur the
chance ov nockin poor devil like me over
with it, if the bottul was wuth nuthin, isn't
as smart as old square Mackmullen, an he
shot hisself with hoe handel, an hit warnt
loaded at that. Well, you know, George,
orter run fast-jjist look at these legs-I used
EN- sum atween that meetin groun an the
swamp, an they haint kotch me yet
Ole Barbelly Buin as they call him, !,
sence his tribulation with the hell sarpints,
haint preched but wunst, and then he hadn't
an oman to hear im. His tex wus "nakid l
cum into this wurld, an I'm agwine outen it
the same way, ef Pm spared till then" I'm
told twar powerful sarmint-it was hearn
three mile. He pruved that nakidnes warnt
much, after all, ef you take the rite view ov
the thing-that hell sarpnts ov all sizes wus
skeery, cold an trubisum-that it wurnt to
be expected ov him. poor, week, frail wun
ov the dust, to be sarpint or lizard proof
either-that wun small sarpint ov the tribe
ov milcizideck ruinated the wurld through an
oman-whe he wur beset by barrilful ov
em. An sixteenthly an finally that Sutty
Lovegood is the biggest raskil, fool, an skare-
krow ever hatched in the mountain range.
Now, George, that all may be so, but
want you to tell old Grownhog this for me-
ef he'll let me alone III let him alone; an ef
he don't, ef don't lizard him agin wish
may be durnd inter poultice Lets 60 tu
the spring an mix little of it with this yere
whisky Shaking his flask J, afore you start.
Mind, tell ole Barbelly what l sed about an
uther big skeer, wi.h-say a peck-ur q peck
und half ov lizzards--try Ind skssr him ef
yu kn--good bye.
The CsLMucK TARrARs Calmuek women