The Hancock Jeffersonian. [volume] (Findlay, Ohio) 1857-1870, 1858-07-23

ALADy desc cribing an ill.natured man
ssysiS Ole never smiles but he feels
ashamed Of IT,"
yocxLrsT sa7she could sing"Way
down on old Tar River" If be could
only getIhe pitch. A.. a1..
AMBITION often puts men upon doing
che mel ,m1gepalnesl Offices; SO climbing is per.
formed in the same posture as creeping.
We lately heard Of housemaid ,
who, aboW 70 leave family rather un d.
expecSfay. and urged to give a reason
for il. SIMPLY said: ~ can't stay, the
young Indies speak such bad grammar. )"
In selling a Newfoundland dog, do
you know whether it is valued acc ord
ing to what it will fetch, or wta, i, will
bring?
WoNEN are fond OF telling US III a,
they hate handsome men; but y ou NAV
DO sure thatii is only to ugly men tha,
they say so.
HAPPIHEss.-There are two things
which will make US happy if we at.
tend to them. The first is, ne YER 10 We X
ourselves about what we can't help;
AND ths, SECOND, never to vex ourseiv YES
about al VIC can help.
bAkx these pure canaries?" asked a
gentlemen Of bird .fancier, with whom
he was negotiating for a pair. "Yes,
sir said the (ancier confdentially, 81
raised them 'ers birds from this very
canary seed"
CARroucHE, the French roober, was
once requested by young man to be
engaged in his band. "Where have
you servedl' asked Cartouche. 1.-TWO
years with an attorney. and six months
with an inspector OF the police. -
Wel!,' answered the chief, "that
whole time shall be Ieckoned as il ou
had served in my troop"
JOHN CHISAMAs Stepped into jewel.
~ sore in San Francisco, and INQUIRED
II they had any oonsistencies. On being
asked 10 Explain himself. he didn'tknow
what.consistency was. but he hal bssn
told II was some sort OF jewel. and h e
should like TO seq one. HI was inform
ed that i was doubtful il. any shopkeep.
or W ths city possessed the article.
Duarsc tho late war mess Of off.
GERS on the frontiers had an honest
1rishman for servant. As they were
taking tea one. evening IN their bar.
racks. the fire fell down and lii on tn
dry boafds near it, which very soon
began to blaze. "Bless your soul
Dennis. why don't you put out the 6re?'
said Capt. x.
81 hdeed.' l. was just going to get
something to do it with, y our honor"
snid. Dennis. hastening TO dispose of the
'ea'ksItls. which he held in his hand.
"Pour the water on H." roared the
impatient Captain.
"Sir," said Dennis. his is hot waier."
ADsyIsIrros. "a PoLrrIcAL Eeoso
M.-"Will you nsyer learn. my dsar,
the didsssees between real and er-
chang sble yaius?" The que eston os
put .esat husband who had been lucky |
enough to 30 lied to n political eco no.
mist In petticoats. "Oh. yes, my dear,
] think I beginto see it," "Indeed!" re.
s.pondea the lady. "Yos," replied the
husband. "lor INSTANCE. my dear, i
know youf deap lsarniog. and all y our
other virtues. That's your real value.
Bot ! know also. that none of my mar.
Iied friends would swop wives with me
Thaes our ezchangsa1le valu,r
A NAN adyertises for "compe to n,
person to undertake The safe OF q new
med ieiae. and adds that "it will be
profitable 10 the undertaken"
Ar sntefpds;sg fuirisr respectfully
lnp pouGcss 70 dies who wish genuine
urs, Dat he makes MATS. boas &c
'ut oftheifo,sn sktns!" z" y - T.
Tue, ,faihsrof every &C. is a thought
|f, then. We would have our eoaduciI
correct. We ,mpst watch. restrain, and |
rsgulats@ our thoughts keen ourI
thoughts with all diligence"
NowtnvssthS public been di.pu,ing,
Tor tsss6S tWenty which or the1
TWO isssssssss. Seaalsx or myself Le,
them e and 20, tbapkful that they
b ave NO MI fsllows 70 dispute .bout.
- % gaasa .t.sl,j f'iT saa ,.. |,
AosAcyLrgaAL FAsR. "A fsrmsr's :
pretty Atschtesa. re I. .sj s..c Il
"CbiiiifsS and foois." says az old {
adsgs. \ IYsys ts lhs uu,h.", f, 81