davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1858-08-26
9mnslag 8eabing.
EXAMINATION OF A MEDICAL

STUDENT. s..
Professor Of fAnatomy.-How many bones
are there in the human body?
Student.-That depends upon what one
had for dinner. In shad time there are
generally more or less.
Professor. Where is the heart situated :?
Student Commonly in the left side of
the thorax; but the majority of the students
lose theirs altogether before they leave COL
lege.
Professor. are the carotid arter
les? q
Student.-They arise on each side Of the
neck, and pass up as high as the shirt collar.
then down the insensate canal, and terminate
in booth boots.
Professor Of Gemtstry-Of what is the
atmosphere composed ?
Student.-Oxygen, nitrogen, and other
foul gases-depeuding somewhat upon the
inhabitants and the filth of the streets.
Professor.-Give an example of the nom
electrics. Is
Student.-Rosin, feathers, hoops, old bach
elors, and lightning rods.
Professor of Materia Medica.-Name
some of the emetic agents.
Student.-Epicac, warm water, too much
liquor and sea sickness.
Professor.-What is considerd the maxi
mum dose ofopium.
Student.-One drop of the millioneth dilu-
ton of one half the smallest possible quan
tity, is a powerful does fora Homeopathic, but
we have been advised to give it as long as
the patient can swallow, and repeat the
dose.
Professor of Surgery-How would you
distinguish dislocation from sprain.
Student.-The safest way is to twist the
injured limb until We are sure it is dislocated,
then set it. All concerned are better salts
fed.
Professor. is the treatment for en-
largement of the tousils.
Studept.-That must depend upon circuru-
stances. If had a tonsil instrument |
should remove them, but otherwise treat
them nationally.
Professor of Theory and Practice.-Give
us the be9t- treatment for intermittent fe-
yer.
Student. Give quinine until the patient
is blind, and then send him to an eye sur
geon.
Professor.-Would not the warm bath be
good in connection with the quinine?
student.-Certainly, and the warmer the
better.
Professor. long would you keep the
patient in it? =
Student-Until-until the skin slips, and
then sweat him off with hot stuff. T.
Professor Of O6stetrics.-Have you had
any experience in the lying.in department? !?
Student.-Certainly, sir, 1 was noted for
lying in our town, and came near being laid
outsforit.
The student was allowed degree, as he
lad treated maDority of the faculty to
brandy toddies.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1858-08-26

s9 A Kentucky lawyer on circuit was
asked to dine with the Judge. At the table,
the Judge, as is his custom, asked blessing,
and shortly after rosefrom his seat and took
from the sideboard bottle of Old Bourbon,
of which he invited his guests to partake,
partaking freely himself, as is also his custom.
After dinner, the lawyer said:
"Judge, will you permit me to ask you a
question:"
ooh, certainly" replied the Judge !;
"what is it p
~ Observed" said the lawyer, 'that after
you had asked q blessing, you set on the
bottle Now, wish to know whether you
are ashamed to ask blessing on the liquor,
or whether you thought it was good enough
Without"
The Judge took the case under advise
ment
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1858-08-26

rian army the drink was water. AT the
we'll of Samaria, both Jacob and Jesus drank
water. Jobs traveller went to the.s for
water. The king of Assyria promised the
Jews that, on submission, they should eat
their own vine, and drink the water of
their own cisterus. The .Israelites proposed
to the Edomites to purchase water. Daniel
and his pious comrades asked permission to
live on water rTimothy's usud drink. was
water; the q" little wine" being prescribed
incidentally. John the Baptist took water.
And this is the element chosen by God to
typify the choicest blessings Of the heavenly
world. -
*Many.o the wines of that time were not into1i-
ting. =
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1858-08-26

SATAN's MIsrAKE.-Old Bobtail was an
uncommonly good man, but in his old age
he became impatient Of the world and anx-
ious to be at rest. He was often tempted to
drown himself
One morning, about two o'clock, his son
was awakened by the old gentleman's call
ing out:
nAbel Abel! Satan has been tempting
me all night to go and drown myself in the
horse trough"
nWell, then, father, he must be a great
fool" cried out Abel, in reply, "for there
hasn't been drop of water in it for six
weeks!'
The old gentleman turned over, went to
sleep, and never woke till the sun was tEo
hours high.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1858-08-26
AN MANHOOD; AND ITS PREM.

AN MANHOOD, AND ITS PREM
~ AZURE DECLfNE.--Just Published, Gratis,
the Goth Thousand: A few words on the rational
treatment without Medicine, Of Spermatorrhea
or Local Weakness, Nocturnal Emissions, Genital
and Nervous Debility, Impotency, and Impede
ments to Marriage generally, BY
B. DE. .LANEY, NJ. D.
The important fact that the many alarming
complaints, originating in the imprudence and
solitude of youth, may be easily removed WITH
OUT MEDICINE, is in this small tract, clearly
demonstrated; and the entirely new and highly
successful treatment, as adopted by the Author,
fully explained, by means of which every one Is
enabled to cure HIMSELF perfectly and at the
least possible COST thereby avoiding all the adyer
tised nostrums of the day
Sent to any address, gratis and post free in
sealed envelope, by remitting (post paidl two
postage stamps to DR.. B. DE LANEY, ss East
Slst street, New York City.
May6 18 TT
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1858-08-26

WORSE THAN TuAT.-Some years ago as
Capt. B., Of the steamer Water-Witch, was
passing down the Arkansas River, they had
pressing need of an axe, and not having one
on board, at the first landing the boat round
ed to, the captain dispatched an Irishman to
the nearest cabin in quest ofone. Pretty soon
Patrick returned with an axe; but when,
after having used it, the Captain ordered
him to return it, he refused point.blank.
"But what is the reason?" urged Captain
B..
HSure then an I'll tell ye. When went
up to the cabin saw white woman, an l
axed her perlitely for the loan Of an axe,
and she telled me to ak her husband in the
corn.feld. So, yer honor, went up to the
corn.feld, and I saw a big black nager a
standing there, and I ses to him, ses I san'
where's your masther?" ses he, "I'm the
masther;" an ses T, sI'm afther having the
loan of an Ak for few minutes" Ses he,
ego down to the house and get it." Well,
I got the ak Captain, and as 1 wint by the
door ses to myself, "bejabers I'll give her a
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1858-08-26
A CARD.
JULY 15T, 1850.
F0eARTIES AND STILLMAN.
DR1 GOODS GlgAp TOR
A CARD.
On . HH ,

@A HO
EROM this date our business will be conducted
II strictly on CASH PRINCIPLES No new ac
counts will be opened AL accounts now on our
Books, due on the 1st July, if not paid punctral'
ly, will be discontinued. 5
Our WHOLE STOCK OF GOODS will be mark.
ed down, in accordance with the CASH SYSTEM,
to very small advances on COST PRICES. Our
unsurpassed facilities for purchasing Goods at the
very lowest market prices, win enable US to sell
, CEEAPF FoR CASH.
Every department of our stock will be regularly
supplied with the latest and best Goods from the
English, French, German and American markets.
PLANTATION GOODS,
will, as heretofore, receive our special attention.
We will sell only for CASH OR CITY ACCEP
TANCE, AT 80 OR G0DAYS, thus enabling US
to SELL FOR SMALL PROFITS. it,aE
FOGARTIES g. STILLMAN,
20 257 KING STREET.
Corner of Wentworth, Street, Charleston, s. c.
July % 20 tt
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1858-08-26
MOUNTAIN BEEF,

.,sHHaun THE undersigned takes this meth
H%z&8 cd to inform his old customers and
@X friends, that he will commence
BUTCHERING MOUNTAIN BEEF in this place,
as soon as supply can be obtained. He is now
negotiating for o lot Of FINE CATTLE, and also
making arrangements for regular supply. He
is determined to furnish the market with the best
BEEF the MOUNTAINS will afford
B6T As his means are limited, and in order to
meet his engagements promptly, he will sell en-
tirely for CASH. JOHN MASSEY.
Mayo 20 II
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1858-08-26


R5- A good one is told of worthy dea-
con in the city of S., in Northern Ohio. The
deacon was the owner and overseerof large
pork packing establishment His duty 1t
was to stand at the head Of the scaldlpg
trough, watch in hand, to slime" the length
of the scald crying Hog in" when the
just slaughtered hog was to be thrown in the
troughs and Hog out" when the watch told
three minutes One week the press OF busl-
ness compelled the packers to unusually hard
labor, and Saturday night found the deacon
completely exhausted. Indeed he was al
most sick the next morning, when church
time came, but he was leading member,
and it was his duty to attend the usual sab
bath service if he could. He went. Ihe
occasion was one of unusual solemnity, as
revival was in progress. The minister preach
ed q sermon we'll calculated for effect. Ills
peroration was climax of great beauty
Assuming the attitude of one intently list
ening, he recited to the breathless auditory !:
Hark they whisper; Angels say"
"Hoq mw came from the deacon's pew in
a stentorian voice The astonished audience
turned their attention from the preacher
He went on, however, unmoved-
"sister spirit, come away"
uHoq out" shouted the deacon--"talty
four"
This was too much for the preacher and
audience The latter smiled, some snicker-
ed audibly. while few boys broke for the
door, to osplittheir sides" laughing outside
within full hearing. The preacher was dis
concerted entirely-sat down-arose again
pronounced brief bendiction, aud dimissed
the anything else than solemn minded hear
ers. The deacon soon came to realizing
sense of his conscious iuterlude, for his
brethren reprimanded him severely; while
"the boys" caught the infection of the joke
and every possible occasion afforded an op-
portunity for them to say Hog in y "Hog
oat"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1858-08-26

EVEN SO.--The Subscriber continues the
II practice of Physic in all its departments. B..
He proposes to take charge of CHRONIC, or old
standing forms of disease, ut home and abroad
He is now possessed of MAGNETIC remedies,
which will restore all durable cases if patients will
niye him chance, and provided they have will
and determination OF purpose to he restored ta
health. He will sell MAGNETIC REMEDlEss,
accompanied with directions for their use I'd pa
tients who are Inclined to treat their own cases.
His Office is at No Is, Congress- street, Yorkville,
sc. +. A. CkENShA", NJ ~
Jan ~
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1858-08-26
CERTIFICATE.

YoRKvILLE, August 9, 1858.
This is to certify that the Beet. Cattle now fur
nished by me to John Massey, are raised in Hay
wood county, North CAROLINA and that there has
been no disease whatever among the Cattle of that
section, and that there never was any disease of
any kind whatever. H. C. LEE.
Aug y 90. 80 > If
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1858-08-26

aa- A young lady is charged with having
said that if cartwheel has nine felloes, it's
a pity if a pretty girl can'c have one.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1858-08-26

small bit of me mind" So Ipokesmy head in
the door, and ses l, ''aiut ye ashamed of
yerself to be having black nager for hus-
band -, An ses she, ''Law no! I had a
ssther done worse than that" an ses | "what
was that sure?" an ses she, ''She married
an Irishman" An, be dad, III be afther
spakiug no more to the baste, Capting beg
gin yer houor's pardon"
The "Captipg" laughingly excused. him
from so unhappy duty.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1858-08-26
I'D gD1RD0 PLANTERS,

vVyHE undersigned is prepared to sell COTTON
1 GINS of the BEST quality, ut 81 per saw; ;
delivered at the landings of the Charlotte, York,
and North Carolina Railroads. The advantage
these GINS have over those shipped from other
States, is that they will last longer-one sett Of
rbbs being equal to Three the brush covered
with tin instead of cloth; and being more easily
repaired, and at less expense.
As cards the speed of the GINS, quality Of
lint, and discharge of clean seed, would refer to
NJ. L. Wallace, Morrow's Turn Out E. q. Palm
er, Fairfield and A. B. Davidson, Charlotte:
JAMES NJ ELLIOTT.
Wlnnsboro', May IS, 1858. 70 tim
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1858-08-26
The State of. So. Carolina,

The State of. So. Carolina,
- YORK DISTRICT.
J. NJ. Strong, In the Common Pleas.
8. W. Ruddock. Attachment
WHERRAs the -Plaintiff did on the 18th day
w Of January, 1868, file his Declaration a.
gainst the defendant, who, as it is said) absent
from and without the limits Of this State and has
neither wife nor attorney known within the same,
upon whom copy of the said declaration might
be served. 1t is therefore Ordered that the said
Defendant do appear and plead to the said Dec
laration, on or before the 28tb day of January,
which will be in the year of our Lord one thous.
and eight hundred and ffty.nine, otherwise final
and absolute judgment will then be given and a.
warded against him.
JOHN G. ENLOE, @. G. O. PLs.
Jan 90 5 ly
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1858-08-26

1s0 or. SULPH. OF QUININE,
L OU best brand, Just received and for sale
cheap for cash by
ALLISON g. BRATTON.
Jan IA
nRAY TICKETS.--A large lot en- hand
~ and for sale OF the ENQUIRER OFFICE.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1858-08-26

TOB PRINTING-Neatly executed at the
% ENQUIRER OFFICE.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1858-08-26
CHE LIYEE
lNWTGO@kAqF0Rg =
PREPARED BY DIR. SANFORD. y

Compounueu eHtnely 1Um UUM6,
rs ONE OF THE BEST PURGATIvE AND
4LIyER MEDICINES now before the public,
that actsas q Catharac, easier, miIder, aud more
efectpal than any. other medicine known. It is
not only Catkartic, but a Liver remedy, acting
first On the Liver toejeet its morbid matter, then
on,the stomach and bowels to carry off that mat-
ter thus accomplishing two purposes effeetually,
without any of the painful feelings experienced In
the operations Of most Cdtharties. It strengthens
the system at the came time that it purges It sra
when taken daily in moderate doses, vail strength
nna nd hnild nnncnnl nilifu
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1858-08-26
NgW 1lVgRH S4ABalS,
A5g BX Pr

& $50 ~
yIEHE undersigned respectfully informs the cit
j izens of York and the TRAVELLING COM
MUNITY that he is now prepared, with comfor-
table VEHICLES lnd GOOD HORSES, to fur
nish conveyances to ANY POINT, at the shortest
notice, and at reasonable rates.
Hehas procured
EXPERIENCED HOSTLERS,
and will "BOARD" STOCK by the day, week or
month. By on arrangement with the Proprietors
Of STOVES HOTEL, and ~sADLER'S HOTEL,
he will attend carefully to whatever stock may
be brought to either house to be stabbed.
Having rented the gtableD formerly occupied
by L.. P. Sadler, with the large and commodlous
STOCK LOTS attached thereto, he is prepared to
accommodate
D IR {" W :" H& -
with every needed convenience.
The OMNIBUS will carry passengers to and
from the Depot to the Hotels and any part OF the
town.
He, or his agents, will at oil times be found at
the Stables attached to Stoves Hotel, where
persons desiring accommodations are desired to
call. LAWSON ID. GOOkE.
B6F Persons hiring Horses or Vehicles, will be
required to return them in good condition, or pay
for all damages. ~ - s--.E-- 90 :
May q 21 cm
The Potter journal. [volume] (Coudersport, Pa.) 1857-1872, 1858-06-03

The entrance of Governor Cummings into
Salt Lake City, unaccompapiea by 4 single
soldier, shows that the vast sums expend-
ed in sending the army to Fort Scott, was
thrown away, on parttSaas Of the adm m
istratton, and that, we have no doubt was
the whole object Of the wa from the start.
In all these wasteful and scandalous
expenditures, Allison White, the member
from this District, has participated with
the President-Chat is, he has voted for
all the money bills asked for by the Pres
idont when he voted at all, 50 far as We
have seen the record. To send him back,
is to give the President unlimited control
IN eesry thing, SO far as this District is
concerned. We have too much faith in
the independence of the people to believe
they will thus act.
The Potter journal. [volume] (Coudersport, Pa.) 1857-1872, 1858-06-03
COURT PROCLAMATION.

WTIIEREAS the Hon. Robert G. White
W President Judge, and the Hons. Joseph
Mann and @. G. Colyin, Associate Judges OF
the Courts Of Oyer & Tcrmincr and General Jan
Delivery, Quarter Sessions Of the Peace, Orph@
ans Court and Court ofCommon Pleas for ta9
County of Potter, have issued their preccpt
bearing date the twenty day OF April, III
the year Of our Lord one thousand eight hun
dred and hftv-eight, and to me directed, 70
holding Court of Oyer and TerminCr ana
General jail Delivery, Qaarter Sessions OF the
Peace. Orphans Court and Court Of Common
Pleas. in the Borough Of fCoudersport on MN
DAY, the 2lst day of June next, and to con-
rinue one week
Notice IS therefore hereby given to the C0I-
oners, Justices of the Peace and Constao4e'
within the county, that they be then and taes1
in their proper persons, at 10 o'clock \: NJ C-
said day, with their rolls, records inquisltloLr
examinations, and other remcmbranceS, "t,
those things which to their offices appeI'H%r,
to be done. And those who are boanu
their recognizances to prosecute agaihAS'.s1; 80
prisoners that are or shall be in the jan q "a
county of Potter, are to be then and 'Lsi'
prosecute against them as will be JuS1' ,osa
Dated at CouDERsroRT, April 22nd, tsi ~.
and the e2d year of the Independence q -
United States Of America -...iH
A. c. TAGGART> ehe'AA'
The Potter journal. [volume] (Coudersport, Pa.) 1857-1872, 1858-06-03
BUCE3aaan's Administration 4
EGFsNTn

We believe nearly every body in this
section comedies that, SO far as Kansas
is concerned, Mr Buchanan has sadly dis
appointed those who voted for him We
propose to show hereafter, that his Ad-
ministration is a tailure as regards aH the
important interests Of the Nation, as well
IS in It's Territorial influence.
The letter Of Samuel Palmerin another
column, an Old Democrat, and a pioneer
ofthis county, now pioneer IN the North
West, will show the influence OF the Ad-
oin;stration on the brave men who are
for homes on the outskirts Of
civilization. What do you think Of a
Democracy That puts the interests Of the
to.}ing settlers under the heel Of Rail
road Company for ten yemS, without a
shadow Of compensation?
Then look at the financial movements
Of the Administration. Even "poor
Pierce left t1oery millions in the Treas
ury for Buchanan to commence business
with but so unfit was he for the position
% which he had been exalted, that in lust
nine months from tle time he took pos
session Of the Government the Treasury
was empty, and Congress was asked to
authorize his Secretary to issue twenty
millions Of Treasury notes-aija8 promi-
ses to pay, sometimes amiably styled Shin
Plastcrs And now, little more than a
year since he had charge of the National
finances, Mr. Buchanan is asking Con
sres5 for a permanent loan Of fifteen nil
lions.
Is it not somewhat alarming, that at a
time when the people feel the necessity OF
practioing the most rigid economy. tha
National Government is more recklessIy
extravagapt in the expenditures of money
than at any time since we had an exist
ence? The receipts into the Treasury,
notwithstanding the financial crash, have
been steady and large enough to pay the
expenses Of the Government, if the Ad-
ministration was an honest one. But in
addition to these receipts, there was q
surplus Of twenty millions which even
Pierce was man enough to leave behind
him, then twenty millions of Treasury
notes were issued, and now permanent
loan Of fifteen millions is required. Was
there ever such a failure before sinoo the
/ Government was organized? When will
all this end unless the people send to the
next Congress Representatives who vii
put a veto on the reckless extravaganza O
the President?
The Mormon war, and the passage O
the EayljoA ,S.omdle, has doubtless taker
a large part Of these borrowed millions
The Potter journal. [volume] (Coudersport, Pa.) 1857-1872, 1858-06-03

young man named Hostrander went into
the woods for the purpose Of sailing
deer lick As they were passing through
the woods, Hostrander stopped and said
to Miller, "Ihere's bear" at the same
time pointing his finger in the direction
of the object. Miller looked in the di-
rectlon pointed out and saw bear, and
drew up his gun and fred, striking the
bear and killingit, Simultaneously with
the report Of the gun, down dropped an
other bear from a tree Miller threw
down the empty gun, and took after the
bear through the brush. After runnino
about 200 yards, Miller came up with
the bear and making spring at him
caught him by the ears. Mr. Bruin used
his paws With right god giil in The at
tempt to shake off his adversary. But
notwiyas landing the bears claws were
making fearful iucisions into his arms and
thighs, Miller held en- until his compan-
ion came up, when they tore up the bag
in which they had the salt and tied the
bear and then getting a pole they fixed
him on it aud bore him home in triumph.
Jersey Shore Eedcite.
The Potter journal. [volume] (Coudersport, Pa.) 1857-1872, 1858-06-03
8s5g~ Hon. John. j. Pearson, President

Bs~ Hon. John j. Pearson, President
Judge Of Dauphin County, is put forward
by his friends for the Republican pQmina-
ton for Judge of the Supreme Court Of
Pennsylvania. Judging from the press
in the different parts Of the State, We
think be is the most prominent candidate
in the field, Gov. Pollock declines hay-
ing his name used at ell
We are uQc particular who the nominee
IS, or what section Of the State he is from,
Sc that he be mua-one who is rot afraid
TO speak cut in behalf OF Right under
whatever circumstances-one who will
view the Slavery question form the stand
point Of Justice, anl whose decisions shall
not be based on toadyism and political
seryility.
Judge Pearson would be a very aooep-
table candidate to US aad we promise him,
or auy other man Of the right stamp who
may be nominated, our hearty support,
G@E- Our friend JAMES, of the Warren
Ledger begins to feel as any one should
who has just acquired his independence
He finds that Reforms % hand-in-hand-
hence, IN his last issue, we have the fol-
lowing bill ofrjghts' declared in respect
to three principles that are unenjoyable,
politically, unless united-Freedom, TEN
psranco and Tax Reforms. IL speaks
out ike a free man;
\ Few WoRns Fo2 TIE LEDoER,-
Two OF our subscribers have ordered their
papers to be stopped because We oppose
the Lccompton Constitution; another
stops the Ledger, because we condemn
the new Liquor Law; and, strange to say,
another is indignant because we favored
the sale Of the public works to the Sun
bury and Erie Railroad. We give these
facts, not because we feel bad about it,
but to show that the fools are not all dead
yet. If there should be any others who
feel aggrieved, let them walk mp to the
captains office" If al our Subscribers
expect the LEDGER will agree with them
IN every opinion, they arc vastly mistaken
we would not il we could. We pro
less to be beiadcpeudont upon ali subjects
We do not claim to speak for any one save
the person whose name appears as editor
We care not what one or the other may
think Of Lecompton or the Liquor Law
we think them both abomiuable, and
shall not hesitate to say SO Whenever we
please. If this is hot democracy, it is in
dependence, aud you may call it whatever
You please.