San Andreas independent., 1858-02-06


A DUTcHMAN ABROAD. Hello,
friend, can you tell me the way to Read
ing 2" inquired down-easter the other
day of Pennsylvania Dutchlnan, whom
he found hard at work beside the road "A
few miles from Reading.
80, yaw, could tell you so bcsscr as
eny body. You must first turn de barn
around, dc pritch over and de prook up
stream, den de first house you cum to ish
my proder Hans pig parn, dat ish de pig
est parn dat dere ish on dish road it ish
eighteen feet Won way and eighteen feet
back again. Mine proder Hans thought
to thatch it NIT shingles, but he sold dem
and den he shingle it nit straw and clap
board it NIT rails, after you 90 by my
proder Hans parn, dc next house you
come to ish hay stack of corn stalks,
pilt of straw, but you must not stop dare
too. Den you goes along till you come
to dree roads, you take any of dem tree
roads ad you git lost. Den you must Git
over dc fence into great pig ben nit no
fence round it. Den you take de road
upon your right shoulder, and go down as
far as de pritch, den you turn right back
agin. Ven you ish comm pack, you come
by house dat stands right along side of
a little yallcr tog. He runs out and says
pow, WOW, WOW, he duz, and pites little
piece out of your leg, den he runs and
shumps into an empty pig 5en dat hash
four Sleeps in it. Den YOU looks vav up
on de hill down iu de swamp dere, and
you sees plue white house painted red,
NIT two front doors on de pack side; veil
dere ish we're my proder Hans lives, and
would dell you SO besser as / could. L
don't know.
" Wall, | swow, by hokee, mister, you
are about as intellergent as aunt Jimmy;
but | reckon as how you don't know her
though, she's dumb But / say, yeou,
why don't you dig out them pesky weeds,
hey p
90, dear me, / hash had very pad
luck. Won or two days next week, mine
proder Hans pumpkins proke into mine
pig patch and ven | drove dem home ev-
cry tam little pumpkin in tie iiel catch up
Won little piece of pig in its mouth, and
den der run through ter duyfel as if der
fence was after dem and post stumbled |
over me, and | am almost kilt, | am"
"Whew! Dew tell 2"
Den L dinks as how | must take me
vrow, so | goes to Reading, and dells
kottereen if she would take me for vors
as besser, and she ask me yaw. So T.
takes him home, and eat seven quarts
sour krout, and went to bed well enough, |
bat de next morning she shumpt up tead!
She vas a very heavy loss; she weigh
more as dree hunder und seventy pound. |
Den my little poy takes sick and tied. -
0, I'd raider give dree shillings as to have
dat happen, he vas so fat as putter. Den
my hens come NIT DIRE ears split, and my
hogs all come home nit nine of dem miss
ing"
INTERESTING STATIsTIcs.-The State
Department is preparing volume of sta
tistics from which it appears that our
.hirty-one States and nine Territories
contain a population of 27 600, 900; of
whom "a ,00O, 900 are whites The ex-
ent of sea-coast is 1850 miles. The
ength of the ten principal rivers is TO-
100 miles. The surface of the FIVE great
axes is 10000 square miles. The num-
Der of miles of railroad in operation is
,0,000 miles, which cost S78 900, ,000.-
The length of the canals is 5000 miles.
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