The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1858-10-09

70 A sick man, recently was converting
win n Nous friend, who congratulated him
and asked him Who his physician was. lie
replied, "Dr. ------ brought me through
mo, no." said his friend, God brought you
through your Illness, not the doctor "Wcll
rcplicd he, "may he he did, but am certain
the doctor will charge me ior doing IT.
rV'Iu aprizc fight near Detroit, lately, one
mans ear was chcwcd oil 10y the gcntlcmanly
antagonist with whom he was tghling' \
spectator, by way OF consolation, humanely
picked the piece up wrapped It M hit OF
paper and put il into the pocket Of the owner.
w Everything has it, use We're II not
for ihe lilies, people IN summer would sleep
iva hours longer than they do, and thus lose
the best part ol the day the portion devoted
10 sunrise pttd meadow rlarks.-
A~FiNE TuouGur-A Greek poet implies
thni the height Of bliss is the sudden relief
uf pain there is a nObler bliss stlll the rap
ture uf the conscience At the sudden release
from a guilty thought.-B"llcer Lyto"'
Tnr pRrsENT.-Eniok the blessings or
thi, dnv. IL God sends them and the evils
bear patiently and swcctly. For this day
only is ours We are dead To yesterday, and
We are not born To tomorrow. .--Jeremy Idy-
t1r, ----
Exoi.ANp ANp Her DINNERs.-If an earth
quake were to cuguf England tomorrow,
tsaid Douglas Jrrrod,) the English would
manage to meet and dine somewhere among
the rubbish, just to celebrate the event.
rS~"h is nisy enough" said Pat "to build
chimney; you howld one brick up, and put
another one under IT," a good many people
undertake to build fortunes on this equitable
principle.
Low. CROWNED Ihr.-"Scc there" cx-
claimed . returned Irish soldier to gaping
crowd, as he exhibited, with some pride, his
tall hat with hullct-hole in it, "Look nt
that hole, will YOU You see that IL it had
been Ior-Crowucd hat should have been
Killed outright"
"TuE WAY TIE MoNEY GOES The cost
Of thirtccn-nch shcl as il flies through the
air. is two pounds ten shillings sterling. Al
each explosion there goes two guincus, bang
The estimated cost of firing thirty-six-inch
bomb is nearly thirty pounds These figures
afford some idea Of the "shcling OUT which
is nceessitated 10y warfare.
TnI FORENSIC "wE"-Barristcrs have a
ludicrous habit of identifying themselves with
their clients by speaking in the plural num-
bcr. "Gentlcmen of the jury said lumi-
nary Of the Western circuit, at the moment
prove that we were locked up in the station
house, in state of intoNcaton.'
tR' "You have lost your baby. hear,
said one gentleman to another. ayes, poor
little thing-it was only five months old
We did all we could for il. We had four
doctors, bistered its head and feet, put must.
ard poultces all over IT, gave il nine caomc
powders, lccched it's temples, had il bled. aud
gave il all kinds of medicines. and yet, after
weeks illness, he died" Strange.
FRRNCr BuiL.--In an address to 0
French electoral community, the cauddnt,
stated that he had she'd all his blood for hi,
country, and was ready to shed it againl
re- "Ah, william home from the wars
Where is the brother that went. with you p
--"Ah, me, we left our mother together
one of us was killed. How can bear to tel
her which one it was p'
PATS IDEA or REVENGE. Pat, Jim
my didn't quite kill you with n brickbat, die
he ?"-"No, but ! wish. he had."-"Wha
for F"-"So | could have seen him hung, thu
villain r.
A PRoMIslNG YournE"Ma," said Mastci
Biggs, "mny go the thentre tonight P"-
"Nd, Tom," says mama. "1hen I'll 60 ant
get the measles, that will | know a boy
who has 'em prime"
A WRoNG GUEss.--A physician going
down State street with friend ut his, suit
to him, "Iet us avoid that pretty little woman
YOU see there on the left she knows me, an,
casts on me looks of indignation. attend
ed her husband"
"Ah! l understand you had the mtStor
tune To despatch him"
"On the contrary" replied the doctor, !"
saved him. - Schenectady Reflector.
The time for mourpinq.--wT6n irit5ii
rogucs are merry, honest folks may 20 int,
mourning.