Mariposa Democrat., 1858-01-28

Mrs. Fanny Fern on tho american Crisis.

|
Well, neverl No. Snakes and bracelets,
darned Gas stockings are darned, you know il
| ever did. Moses and Aaron Soit's us-us
women, ladics--us, the delicious little blue
eyed tremblers, at whose tiny tootscums you've
been kneeling for nobody knows how long-its
US who have been and done it, and got you all
into debt, and stopped your banks and made
your bills good for nothing but to light the
beasty cigars you've got on tick-ain't that
the wordH By Diana and the mischievous
urchin Dan Cupid, that's what you've con-
cluded to come to, is it2 And you call your
selves menl If could blush, I'd blush for
you; but calculate it wouldn't do no more
good than emptyng my teapot into the al
mighty Niagara. ~.
And what have we, poor timid slaves, been
doing, if it please my lords and masters of the
Creation to certify? Let us hear our crimes,
anyhow. Whata Buying too many robes,
and spending too much in .jewelry, and per-
fumes, and soap, and gloves, and flowers, and
slippers for our dear little trotters. Those are
the things which you are not ashamed to throw
into our faces. Grant me patience, gracious
Jupiter while write such matters down.
Why, rightminded man, not to say Ameri-
can, would down upon his marrow-bones to
his wife, and humbly thank her for having, at
all events, got some pleasure out of his money
while it lasted. And she, if she was dear,
warm, kind, affectionate, sweet, good, darling
little rib (as we all are till you make us more
tother,) would say to him, shaking her lovely
curs over his face, SAM" or Bill or "Al-
cibiades," as the case might be, 81 forgive
you" "-and | don't know say don't know,
but if he looked very penitent indeed, and was
handsome fellow--I don't know but she
miei. just-there, its out, give him kiss
ah and goou one, too-nct one of the touches
that wouldn't make oew-drop sosquatulate
from a rose-leaf but one as If shc meant u
But the notion of husband charging his ruin
upon one of those angels, who, in the disguise
of wives, float about your homes, and gil the
air with essence Of Paradise-well, there
In course it's all our doings, too. No little
triie Of extravaganza on your side of the table.
Nothing about poker, or any other little game.
Nothing about racing, or bets on horses to be
sent over to England, to have their hearts
broken by the cheating of John Bulls jockeys,
or to be poisoned by dukes and marquises, for
fear the Stars and Stripes should bang the Old
Country on its own Turf No oysters and port
wine, and such like, monkeying the aristocrats
of Britain. No chests Of cigars, big as um-
brellas. No gumticklcrs, and neck-twisters
and brandy -smashes, and bulls milk, and
tongue-scrapers; nor any other of your nasty
excuses for lquoring, when you're ashamed to
call out, like free citizens Of the noblest empire
in the world, for what you really mean. No
opera-boxes, that amt always filed with your
own wives, but are sometimes sent as presenst
to somebody elsc's--same remark as to shawls
ank trinkets, my masters. Oh, no nothing
of all this. Ask about these things, and the
lords Of creation are as mute as dead nigger
in coal-hole But there's something in all
this girls, Notwithstanding swear it, by the
memory of st. Washington. ol iaN
But come, girls, up and be doing. Ifwe've
done the mischief (and my lords say so, and
therefore, of course, IT must be SOY we must
repair it. Wen have good time.