Nashville patriot. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1858-1860, 1858-09-02


is what picked up in my five years sojourn
in California. 1t was repeated at a regular
Democratic meeting which occurred in the State
If you consider it sufficiently amusing you
may insert it in your paper for the gratlfica-
ton of your readers. t1rffEf u
Yours, sc. c. A. l.
All the marine monsters, big fish and small
fry Of the great deep, lately met in contention,
to take into consideration the conduct of the
Ocean and also of Mankind in general. The
Whale was elected president, and from his
greatness might be termed the Prince of
Whales. He opened the contention by stating
that he did not wish to make a speech; he
would take mp as little room and be no longer
than possible. tCheers.l
The Shark Whispered to the Swordfsh that
il was not possible for the whale to be much
longer. for he was eighty feet now: in his
opinion he only wanted chance 10 spout,
and h. considered him regular old blower.
The Whale contended that Notwithstanding
his general size, Che might add tears,) he was
not exempt from suffering He had been
grossly insulted by mamie would say lam
pooned; not that he would pun upon the use
made of his fat, as he did not wish to make
light of such matter. He bad been har-
him, and his shafts were sharp and pointed.
Some of his fellow-whales had been very
much cut up and exceedingly tried He had
lately learned that substitute for oil had
been invented, which might lessen the perse-
cution of whales, but he feared it was all gas.
The Whale alluded to harpoon which had
lately hit him; it had made great impression
on him. and he feared had affected him deeply.
Great sensation.) Here his feelings over
powered him, and he sat down Con the shark
amid general blubber.
The Shark rose with some difficulty and
remarked that the tail of the whale had
moved him; in fact. il was very striking. His
own situation was far from pleasant. He was
by profession lawyer, and, he flattered him
self, one Of the deep kind. [Cheers and
laughter.] But business was bad, and he had
been obliged to take in few pupils. He had
lately presented a fine opening for yonng
man who fell oUerbO0rd hut soon after
wards obliged to reject his suit ndigesti
BILE. Unless he had more cases he should
leave the law, and open a dentist, as he was
well acquainted with the art of setting teeth.
He held up one fin as a signal that he had
finished.
The Sea Serpent did not wish to intrude
upon the convention as he did not know
whether he properly belonged to the fish
tribe; did not appear otfcio,ts All he asked
was to be classified with the Eel, whom he
considered slippery character. (Here the Eel
was observed to wriggle.) Lately he was
passing a certain species of the Eel. when he
Just happened to touch him; he had been so
shockcdlthat he had hardly recovered.
The Eel hastily arose and said he was cleo
trifed at these remarks. it was evident that
the Serpent was more than half seas over, and
if he was not careful would not get himself
into regular coil. As for his being "stip-
perry character" he thanked Neptune he did
not belong to such "a Scdly set as the Serpent.
The Whale called the Eel to order, and the
Eel called the Whale Il confonnded old swell
head. and was then summarily put out of the
convention.
The Turtle was suffering from a slight in
disposition He was walking ashore, a short
time since, when he met a party of Jolly
young sailors. The result was that he was
laid fiat on his back and was unable to move
for some time, and since he had not felt as
lively as usual. There was one thing to
which he would call the attention of the con-
vention. He prided himself upon the purity
of his political principles; he was the alder
mans best friend The Shark had lately
insulted him by calling him regular old
hardshell.
Here the Shark interrupted him by asking
if that was not his case2
The Turtle replied that he should say no
thing more at present, but should have some
thing to L1y before the next meeting.
The Shark, (contemptuously) yes, a fer
eggs, probably.
The Porpoise did not exactly understand
the purpose of the convention, nor whether
all the members were present The Secre
tary called the roll. The Whale called him
10 order. and was sorry to see him Keeling
about in that disgraceful condition. His
motion was quite out of order, and he appear
ed to be attempting to get mp revolution.
The Porpoise assured the convention that his
movements proceeded entirely from the
motion of the waves; but still he should
wave his motion. He then took back seat,
amid cries of ''yott'r a bLo'cer."
The President remarked that he should he
happy to hear from some of the small fry
the oyster, lobster, and others; who, if not
the ''bone aud sinew" of the tribe, were at
least the muscles. -...--. .....s
The oyster proceeded to open his case,
which was a hard one. He was continually
in trouble. and always in some stew or broil.
He had family troubles, also; his half-brother,
the Clam, was disgrace to the family, always
in liquor and generally considered a squirt"
Some of his family were very lazy, and spent
most OF their time in BEDS There had also
been some rakes among them, creating a
great disturbance. He was most respectable
himself; his father was quite distinguished,
He went in for his own rights, and did not
care whether the rest got theirs or not
The Jewish remarked, dat was very sell
fish.
The Oyster continued There was one of
his neighbors-he would not call any names
who was very surly aud grabbed; that he
was one-sided individual, aud no one ap
droved OF his motions.
The Crab protested against this abuse, and
IL. q 4z.g.A
cause he was soft" He respectfully
retired baekWdrds.
Here the Goldfish entered and apologized
for his lateness, as he had been visiting a
school, He thought the Whale was badly off,
since men took his oil to make lights of His
own case was the reverse of this: they took
his lights-and liver, too, tor that matter
to make oil of. This might be very good for
consumption, but il was COMPOUNDED bad for
him. The most alarming kind he had ever
heard of was the consumption of goldfish. 1t
might be very good fun for men 10 cut him
open and salt him, but 10 hang him up after
wards WAS rather too bad joke.
The Herring said there had been DISPOSE
ton manifested TO play tricks OF this kind in
his school. and that lately some of his COM
panions had been badly smoked.
The Shad, too. In his spring migrations up
the rivers, had been greatly prosecuted, par
| DcuttIlN 10y Tue ncnluefs. Oi the Legislature.
Men bad greatly nettled him, and had nearly
driven him ulsd,se He WAS superstitions
fish, and most unlucky day to him was fry
| day However, he thought his enemies had
suffered somewhat in the warfare, and found
! his tail regular bonyparte
The Flattish was not particularly flaitering
in reply to the Shad, for he did not believe
there was "a shadow of truth in his remarks.
The Salmon, also, had his troubles He was
AN aristocIat-(here there was general tur-
| ming up OF noses, and some titteringl mot
of the Goldfish kind either, and did NOT ass,,-
ciate with the small fry. lie spent most of
his time in travelling, and in summer went
up to the inland rivers, and took his family
| TO the springs and the falls He had been