The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1858-06-23
p0ftrg.
MEMENTO.
Our Olio.

W hV is love ike Canal DOat: DE-
cause it is an internal transport.
A fop is ike n cinnamon tree-the
bark is worth more than the body.
The three great conquerors of the
world are Fashion, Love, and Death.
The man who courted an 1nvest;ga-
ton says it isn't half as good as counting
an affectionate girl.
Handsome features alone are incapa-
bic of expressing real beauty, rs speech
alone is incapable Of expressing wit.
Which is the best line to lead man
with? Crino-line, and the best line to
lead woman with is Masculine.
A lady asked veteran which rife
carried the maximum distance. The old
chap answered "ZHe Nane-naum."
A mathematician has discovered that
an infallible method for producing 9iVis
ION in families, is tie multiply jealousies.
Tho Printers toast = Womar-the
fairest work of creation-the edition be-
ing extensive let no man be without a
cory.
The parson who prefaced his sermon
with ''Let us say few words before we
begin" is about equal to the chap who
took short nap Lefore he went to sleep.
why in such hurry" said man TO
an acquaintance. '.Sir," be replied, 81
have bought a new bonnet for my wife,
and fear the fashion may change before
/ get home"
The man who has never tr'el the con-
panionship of little child has careless!y
passed by one of the greatest pleasures
of life, as one passes a rare flower with
out plucking it or konwing It's value.
A Young lady remarked to a male
friend that she feared she ould make a
poor sailor. The genteml IN promptly
answered, "probaly, but I am sure
you would make an excellent naate.''
"Pat, do you love your country g.
ayes, YER honor" "What's the best
thing about ould Ireland, Pat?" cite
whiskey, yer honor" "Ah, [ see Pat,
with all her faults, YOU love her STILL"
A tpsy Irishman leaning against a
amp post as funeral procession was
passing by, was asked who was dead. =
81 can't exactly say, sur" said he.
"but presume it is the jintleman in the
coffin"
An exchange records the marriage of
Miss Jane Lemon and Mr.. Ebenezer
Sweet.
How happy when extremes do meet,
In Jane and Ebenezer,
She is no longer sour, but sWcft, s
And he's LelnOn slGeezer.
We may seek costly furniture for our
homes, fancifnl ornaments for our man
tel-pieces, and rich carpets for our floors,
but, after the absolute necSssaries for n
home, books are the cheapest. and GER
tainly the most useful and abiding EN-
belIishments.
A bothering fellow, meeting coal mer-
chant, inquired whot chaldron of Goals
would come to? The coal merchant be-
gan to consider, and knowing that the
question was put to him for mere idle er-
riosity, deliberately answered, 'S;r, fthey
arc well burnt they'll come to ashes"
It is, SAYS Hooa, stern, sad thing to
think how often mortality stands on the
brink of its grave without anv misgiving,
and yet in this slipping world of strife,
in the stir of human hustle, there are da
" sounds to tell us thatli IS dying an
death is living. ea
If six inches of snow viii give pint
of water, how much milk will COW give
if fed on ruta baga turnips!
Solution-Multiply the flakes ofsnow
by the hairs of the cows tail, add piece
Of chalk and the product will be the ans,
wer.
@A domestic, newly engaged pre-
sented to his master, one morning par
of boots the leg of one of which was much
longer than the other. SLOW comes it
that these boots are not the same ! n 18th e
al rally don't know, sir, but what bothers
me the most is, that the pair down stairs
are in the same fix
An old topper was induced to sign tho
Temperance pledge, which he kept relig-
iously for some weeks. At last he got
decidedly balmy, and one of his friends re-
monstrated with him on his taithlessnbsS
to his obligations. He answered, 80
be sure l signed the pledge, but | was
tremendously dry, and all stJas fall in
adry time"
"W hiskerettes," worn by girls for
lack of whiskers. molstaches, or r,atees.
They are made BY drawing down little
tufts of hair from the temples, and form
ing them into scolops.- Erchaaqe.
If any young girls would Ike to have
fine moustaehe upon their upper Inns.
they shall be INDUCED just as soon as
ours has time to grow.-Louis0lle Joar-
nal.
The brave only, dare to forgive; Il is
the most refined aud generous pitch of
virtue that human nature can arrive at
Cowards have done good and kind ac-
ons-eowadrs have fought. nay, some
mes conquered; but a coward never for
ave; it is not in his nature; the power of
Ding it flows only from a strength and
reatness Of soul conscious of its own Sc
Irity and strength, able te resist all the
he temptations of resenrag every fruit
50 attempt to interrupt Its happiness.