Nebraska advertiser. [volume] (Brownville, Nemaha County, N.T. [Neb.]) 1856-1882, 1858-10-07
4 Kentucky Egg.Eater.

huOIlS lhG prisoners uSner6u before
Judge Pruden this morning, was a tall,
robust big -boned Kentuckian, from the
vicinity of CasseyvilIe. He is evidently
a descendant of the pure old Kentucky
stock-stout as a lion, fearless as a
knight, and as Independent as a freeman
dare be. He was charged with disorder
ly conduct. The arresting officer stated
that he found him 'slashing around in an
eating and drinking house, and arrested
him to preserve the peace.
What have you to say to this charger
asked the Court.
a might, that's sartin,' replied the
prisoner. You see, Squire, I'm a stran-
ger here, from away down of old Ken
lucky, an | haint Iarned Yer ways. Shall
| tell you how | was cotched? g
we will listen to you, remarked the
Judge, who saw he had a character be-
fore him, and disposed to let him have
vent.
l go five that you're a trump replied
Kentucky. But that's neither here nor
thar. I'm to tell you how was cotch-
ed.'
That's it,
Wall, Squire, l cum to town vester-
day. | 'pected not to stop long, so |
didn' 60 to nary a tavern. | got kind a
hungry though, so | made a lunge for a
atin'-house. | sot down to the table,
an l axed for a dozen an a half of eggs,
an the critter who waited on the custom
ers opened his eyes, grinned, and then
fotched 'em to me. They was good, but
wanted a little mixture. | called for a
cold breakfast-coId, Squire, kase it's
agin my constitutional principles to eat
meat hot
The fellow grinned an said they had
got none. That kind a riled me, but
kept my temper, an ordered another doz-
en- an halt of eggs. The chap snick-
cred and said, We amt got no more eggs
old kaintuck-you've eat 'em all up
That set me to bilin', and Just squashed
things for while. That's the hull on
it, Squire, sure as I'm from old Kahn
! tuck
Then you considered yourself aggriev-
ed by the last remark of the waiter?'
Just So
How do you take your eggs-boiled
or fried q
/ Fried, Squire, all the time fried. Bill
ed eggs, specially when they're hard,
don't set well on feIIer's stomach
! Can you eat three dozen of eggs at
one meai?'
Just like knife, an throw the shells
in. AL AK is to have 'em fried.
you must be fond of eggsH
Now hush, Squire, you're techin' me
on tender pint
Is it your practice to squash things
when you get riled 2
Not commonly. I'll tell you what il
are, Squire, this is the first time in my
mortal days that | was ever locked in
Let me off, and I'm Of for old Kaintuck
like streak
You are, eh?'
'Sartin, as I'm from old Kaintuck.'
And you viii eat no more of oul
eggs?'
Darn the one, Squire
Then take your hat and leave
You're a hoss-old Kaintuck forever.
Y He'd the Kentucky egg-eater, as ht
strutted out of the courtroom with the all
of prince, and amidst the hearty laugh
ter of all who had witnessed his trial
Cine innQti Times.
A little girl, about five years of age
was equally fond Of her mother anC
grandmother. On the birthday of The
latter, her mother said to her:
My dear, you must pray to God to bles
your grandmother, and that she may
live to be very old
The child looked with some surprise a
her mother, who, perceiying it, said:
We'll, will You not pray to God t.
bless your grandmother, and that sht
may live to become very old?'
All, mamma SAID the child, she i
very old already; would rather pra,
that she may become young
1t is the little troubles that wear tn,
heart out. Ii is easier to throw d bomb
she'll a mile, than a feather-eyeR witt
artillery. Forty little debts of 6OlIa