Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1858-02-06
humorous,

"A ROYAL ARGUMENT Frederic the reat
was always very fond of disputntion but as
he generally terminated the discussion bv
collaring his antagonist and kicking his shins,
few OF his guests we're disposed to enter the
arena against him. One day when he was
even more disposed for an argument than
usual, he asked one of his suite why he did
not venture to give his opinion on some par
ticular question
1T is impossible, your majesty" was the
reply, Ito express an opinion before o sover-
eign who has such very strong convictions,
and who wears such very thick boots ~
CLEAR DIsTIsCTIoN.-An N anecdote is rela-
ted oil young preacher at church in a city,
who had for his text q verse from the parable
OF the ten virgins, and in the course of his
sermon explained: -
"ihat in old times it was customary, when
the bridegroom and groom were coming, for
ten virgins TO 60 cut and meet them, and
escort them home-.jfce Of these cirgins Jeing
male dHd .fce .femalc."
"MoTHER, mayn't have the big bible in
your ROOM"
Yes, my son. and / am glad TO see You
desirous OF perusing that book. What do
you most want TO see in it 2"
81 only want to see whether | can smash
flies in it, like Bill Saih does at school !"
A TIpPLER, who squinted awfully, used
sometimes TO mourn that his eyes did NOT
agree. Its very lucky for you" replied his
friend, "for if your eyes had been matches
your nose would have set them on fire long
ago." e
A DocToR up town gave the following
prescription for sick lady u few davs ago
"A new bonnet, cashmere shawl, and a Eoi-
OF gater boots" The lady recovered i'm.
mediately.
A FOR is like new set Of knives and
forks-you can't put him to anything useful
without taking away all his polish.
A "REMGIous PAPER" on Cn1cAGo In
The Gospel Banner says Chicago is a moor
place for Yankee. The climate gives him
the ague fever; the water brings on diar.
rhoea the food as cooked by the suckers
produces Gyspepsia the whiskey, tinctured
with stTychnne, makes him crazy or, if a
temperate man, three per cent a mouth is
sure to bring on the blues, Throughout the
entire western country home-sick men are
plentier than anything else. No more wise
and prosperous men will emigrate thither b
our advice.
HURRT or. Two ladies' were having some
words together on the roadside, when the daugh.
ter OF one Of them popped her head ost of the
dor, and cried out:
Hurry mother, and call her thief before
she calls you one.'
DANIEL 4 Speaking of lions
that was an i'lta Of the hard-she preacher who
was discoursing of Daniel in the den of Ions:-
"lhere he soi all night, looking al the show for
nothing 1t didn't cost him a cent"
Az honest lady when told of her husband,
uea'h' exclaimed, "Weil,l do declare, our trou.
PIES never come alone. 1t ain'l week since
'os' my hen, and now Nh Hooper has gone too
BoNNErs.-There is shanksperian autborit,
tGr wearing little oyster shell bonnets In
ing. 'He '0'io"'
PeirgGhio-" Why, It's a cookie, or a wal
nutshell, nut knack, toy, baby's cap. Ava,
WIN ~ come Jet me have a bigger"
E, na'IarIhe-"IH IN ,c, q. haze no bigger, his dol
y Like plenty Of other ladies, the sbrsvisl
hale thought that, if the bonnet fitted NJ
uMe, IL was big enough for her, which on,
"'sn' cal' chronological measurement
MArRINoSIAL LooIc.-"Are a man and !;
wife both one Z" asked the ,yiGs a ~ anu "
gentleman, in state of stuneCsc,ion 'ea'al
was holding his achlng head 10 both Ia o"
es' suppose So" was the renlv W.
taen, said she, & l came home drnn,, ,e.
nlght and ought to be ashamed of mysaiS