Clarksville chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1857-1865, 1858-06-11
MlScELlAMY.
THE BACHELOR AND THE BABY

There was no one at home except the
babys mother, and baby, and l. Baby
had just gone to sleep, when baby's mother
remembered a trifing commission which
she had promised to execute for me in the
village With an injunction to touch the
cradle if oaby woke, she departed, leaving
me proud of my new employment, and
lulled by past immunity into state of
fatal security.
With one eye on my boot, and the other
on the cradle, like a faithful watch dog, |
listened to the retreating football that
should have warned me, but did not, "to
look out for squalls" / had no idea of
the awful responsibility which had taken
upon myself, or should have shrunk
from it, as a cat does from water, or
mastiff from churning machine. In
fact, rather suspect / felt in a trifing de-
gree ambitious that baby should open one
eye--only one-that | might have the
pleasure of suhtting it again. Unwary
mortal How little do we know when we
are we'll off My ambition was but too
soon to be gratifcd; l had yet to learn by
bitter experience how weary is the lot of
those who--tend on babies
| wonder whether infants are conscious
in their sleep of their mothers absence,
and know that an opportunity has arrived
for "cutting up didoes' y
The baby, over whose slumbers ] had
become the guardian genius-how the flies
pitched into its nose was as sound asleep
as any baby could be when its mother de-
parted but no sooner had her shadow
faded from the room than symptoms. of
wskefalgsss began 10 appear. First came
sigh, then ohuckle, that said, as plain
as chucklc coGld say New fcf s9E.e fun
then one eye opened and shut, and then
both began peepiug about, till the head
seemed inclined to bob-of the pillow. l
felt little nervous at these symptoms
only little. "Poh," said TO myself, "a
roll of the cradle will soon settle your
business youngster" But it did not
Baby was bound to have spree. 1t knew
that ats mother was out The big, bother
some blue bottle fly, too, tired of watch
ing for the ship over the clock face, started
on voyage of discovery on its own ac-
count, and the first promontory which
it reached was the nose of the baby, a
tempting spot upon which it landed for
refreshments, buazing most villianously as
it did so, 1t was ticklish landing, how
ever and baby soon drove it off with a
sneeze that astonished its nerves, and mine
too more than the fy's, for the fly was ac
customed to ticklish situations, which
was not. Baby was thoroughly roused.-
Up went its round, chubby arm but a
rock of the cradle soon sent that back to
its place, | did rock that cradle beauti-
fully. The little head rolled to and fro as
easily as if it had been fastened on by a
toy mandarin neck.
could not help admiring myself for
the way in which l did it, and am sure
that any reasonable baby would have gone
TO sleep again, if only for compliments
sake; but the baby in the cradle did Mt
The moment the rocking ceased, up pop
ped the little head, like Judy's in the
show, with small peevish cry, That cryl
it was like the sizzling of the fuse of a
powder magazine, sure to end in an ex-
plosion,
Were you ever reused in the middle Of
the night by the maid of all work, coming
in her slippers and night cap to inform
you that the house was on fre2 Did you
ever stand by Dutchman who was weigh
ing gunpowder with lighted cigar in his
mouth? Did you ever stand over the
boiler of Mississippi steamboat, and ex-
pect every moment TO be landed on the
tree-tops half mile inland2 If not you
cannot conceive my horror when heard
that cry, was in cold perspiratiou from
head to foot l have no doubt that hail
stones as big as peas might have been
picked of my face
1 rocked for dear life, and baby bounced
about like ball of India rubber But il
was useless. | sang all the songs could
think Of, from hecabalistic "Hush ababy,
to "Cease rude Boreas !" / tried tenor
and ! tried bass but the baby did not
know the difference Il seemed 70 think
!, AL hane The 'oud,f 7 sauc the lauder