The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1858-08-21

TIL b DLsR l!'..!l..'!!'.!I,!l!I
'kftIoAY MoesIse Auoysr q. iss.
THEKLSS AND THE KICK; /
Il Is'e = ssoR, 4 HINT 10 HUsBAEDsl
a y III esolSI 16aCsfus salA.
csptaia aay sooss, 0aoshai Mscheath VAS cap. /
Ain, and % wAs Kidd, the pttasss Jerry Aosrsnaw
= ria scu wss atso, a. nm informed, given TO
~ sssanpsaon osths title Of captain, PdcAptain
LieiRlI N not areveugefnl man. Iiove my neigh. |
bors & mysslf, aud can totGtve the cabmAn Who
ovssrAargss ms-aser have nad MIN uP oeI9 ns,
IN nishsi for bis souls health. Bst confese that
sh6S "A tiks 20 zee Captain Slybooss boiled; that
ahcuid iiks 10 sec him xrtlled; that should IKE
10 run red hot forks-thfee prouged- Into those
blueeyss OF Ais, and TO introdaee sne
s1rp pointed sadss ofpeak aives oesw bic neso
ana SO nnser malta. He has destroyed my nap
nfnAsa ue has made Sahara desert OF Arabelta
t.sareI aud reared q hideous Upss tree 10 the mid
de q ~ Arasses carpet the back room.
Yea. the back drawing room, for thers-out be calm
- sssinr souE let inc relate the story OF mywrongs
m t6S beueat Of husbands Ia general, and gunpow-
~ - ~ ID particular. Let me gibbet tho moa-
sser. aud nall him like vampire bat Of light
asaeeos - be is agaiass sss door o. ne temple
tIs OF GALL and Iwillcommit to paper tho atrocioas
the fsndish perfldy Of Captain Slyboots.
IN Sp6ks VI eunpowder agents. I'm one Of them.
have % o6lcsin Broad street Baiidiugs, 10 the
Of the Bangtord Mills. You need mot b. afraid TO
come and see me. Ws don't keep much on the
premises, aud never smoke before lunch. Good
years, bad years, my commission, salary and per-
auisites, bring me 10 eight hundred . year. keep
ssdokeart; ny wife hes btougham whenever she
chooses 20 Ask her .fIubby'-or rather the wretch
"a outcAst Who vas oaee known to her by that en-.
desiring dimiuutise-for IL iiveat Arabella Lodge,
Bromptou, aud my name tss Harcourt Symes.'
havstons with the vanities Of this world nov: 20
doAss mind telling you that was christened Thom-
a., and thai papa ussd TO spell has surname thus
6ims.
Ny Arabs,ls--I doaf moan my house, but my
&ffe-was the beauty Of Horne Bay; and married
her thers IN nftythsee. married her sof her lov-
isg heart. her varied accomplishments, and her
long black .riuaiets. She had little property,
which valued little indeed Ia comparison with
her own sweet self and which have invested very
sdvsutageousy In the Bank of Deposite in Pail Mall
East We have two children now-poor helpless
uts,-G reenviiIs Harcourt, aged three, in
tenA shxIl become eivel Louisa,
sRsd 20, 10 destined for the church. Thede IT.
tis crsaearsia 20 staid aud solemn that my VIE
declares that when she grows mp sone bishop will
beeure 10 fsil In love with her and mary her."
etup 20 ttls month Of November last year, Ara
hSiIs Lodge was model on q small scale OF the
garden OF Eden. I don't think any children In
Rromptou ever cried 30 seldom a did ours. Ny
ArAbeiias was q capital manager, and the house
keeping bills were very moderate. Oar COOK was
y treasure, and our two housemaids pearls; and
as for james, the footboy, never knew such a
clever boy az that boy. In gardening, grooming,
kuife cleaning, errand running, door answering
aud, ibrih cling home books from the circulating
library, he was sn Admirable Cfichton. he had
but oae failing--A leaning towards singing niger
melodies, accompanied on the bones, 10 the back
s5at st mia % I'm a
and . mild application Of the back of clothes
brush to the dead, cured him OF that ungentee
propensity. Il don't think. six months ago, there
was happier man in Brompton-in London-iu
Eneiaads-thsn Harcourt Symes Slippers always
ready when came home; children always shiuy
faced aud we'll dressed, with pink bows on their
plump little shoulders big as kites; cat-i hate
cats-AlwAys snugy locked up 10 the coal cellar
ny Arsbeils smiling; my dog Buffo turning over
head and heels with delight In tho gravel path
the leaves or the new books all cut, the sdinher
ready, and the wine decanted. l entrusted ner
with every thing, even with my CarbonneIs port
We we're visited by, we received, the best families
ia the neighborhood and outlying suburbs The
Almond Tumblers, of Thurlow Square, (rich Con
veysncing fsmiiy,) the Pouter Pigeons OF the
Gloucester Road, the C0tchins Of Brompton square
the Chiuers of Chiswick Mail We had people
from Keusington palsce--from the Royal Palace
at Keusington--yes, sir-beneath our humble roof
Old Lad y Fang, widow. Of George the Thirds den
tist ard cupper, and enjoying the hospitality Of
my Arsbeia. she invited the very best society q
ear house. The honorable Miss Julia Medea But
Teton she lives at Hampton Court Palace-yes
strand 10 first cousin to the Lord Bufeton,) USED
TO come and read her three volume novels o
fashiouabIs life TO my wife, before she sen
them to the crack westend publishers, whc
were only prevented from giving them to tht
world by an Infamous comofnation Of literary
sliques. Youug ,GuHosn told me as much; afit
Young Guifoon ought to know. never mention
"a Of the gnnpowder business at Brompton o
corrse; that might have led to o "blow up yot
know; (isns that jokes) we gave snug little din
ner parties and quiet little dancing teas, aud nov
and then regular first rate concert aid soiree.-
Tam not vain man, but Il think can boast 0
having seen the prettiest girls and most gentee
partiss--I mean men-in our suite OF rooms a
ArshelIs Lodge, that are visible anywhere out o
lmacks or Her Majesty's drawing room.
.aIu au evil hour-what do say!-s fatal, an If
reyocabie hour, the path Of our turtle dove fecit,
~as crossed by Captain Slyboots. Ny wife picked
him up-yes'' picked him up 10 the word-at th'
annual ball in aid Of the funds for providing small
tooth combs tor the destitute Shetland ponies
held at the Hanover Square Rooms had an en-
gageu,ent at Greenwich that day. think tn,
iaudlord of the Trafalgar wanted some gunpowder
at all events, went down, and half.a-doSen july
fellows from the City who, curiously, all had bnsi
ness in Greenwich that day, went with me. VI
dined together when business was over, aud felt
exhausted with the mental anxiety we had gou'
throuxhr-you know how harassing business mat
~
town till the last train. Lady Fang had kindly
promised to be my wifs's chaperon at the bal
(which was a very exclusive one, vouchers, sgpeC
By two ladies patroDesses, being requisite to pro
cure ticket, quite tip.top styie) SO felt quite
easy on my Arabella's account When returned
home rather late that night-for feeling hungry
after the rail road journey had dropped in t.
hsve sonae supper at my club found a white
camelia in q glass efwater on my wife's dressing
table Her own bouquet, which had sent her
that morning from Convent Garden, lay beside it
all crumpled and faded, never was of ajealous
Acknowledgements never, ha, hal hoo, never-and
Isthousht no,mors about it know now who
gave her that camelia.
- The next morning Arabella told me all about
Captain Slyboots, He was the most delightful
crestnfe, She sad-so drol, full of anecdotes, SO
trtdt di2ingaHhed. lie had been presented to her
by Lady Fang herself, and was indeed, distant
qeSnnsotion Of her Ladyship. He, Syboots, was
thu Only son of Sir Crisdiu Slyboots, of Diddecot
Hall, Lesryshire, immensely rich: captain 10 the
2lst Hutsars, and all the rest of it, 1t was by the
interest chsnce that he happened to be In town 30
late 10 the year but was in london she believed In
order 70 settle something with the family lawyers,
. ABOUT the estates Ia Learyshire He had asked
Perni6sfon 20 call; permission had been granted,
and he was 70 make = cail that very day-a morn.
fug CALL 4 am the most uususpicous man breath
- ing, and had my wife told me then-mark me then
that the Sultan Of Turkey Governor brigham
Young, or ANY other poiygaulical william was to
call at ArabeiIa Lodge. should have driven into
the city with light heart. II was not long before
saw Captain slyboots. had to ask him to dinner
before the week was over. He came very often,
not too often for me then for he had such insnua-
thug, such persuasive ways about him. that treaty
liked the fellow. He found out all about the gun
powder, aud rallied me-'chaffed' he called it-in
manner at which Il impossible to be offended,
but for which should like to kick him now. He
DID me the hopor,-I meau be had the impudence
to cali ON NJ Ia my Office In the city morning,
= and borrowed ton pounds OF me 10 the most afAbe
- m mar. II
do him justice to say that be paid me the money
back; I wish he hadn't, that might sue him, and
Seccumulase costs sgainst him, and immerss him
ina life long Dungeon. Sahs He was over six feet
high, and had fair whiskers which he cufed;apd fair
hair which spsyted down the middie;and fair nous
stHche4 which he twisted; and very white teeth,