Raftsman's journal. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1854-1948, 1858-11-10
MIR. BROWNS MISHAPS.

tiDgulsn Mr.. brown from the Huitltuue OF otneT
Browns who are born, grow up, and die in this
world of ours.
1t CHANGED that Mr.. Brown had occasion to
visit town some fifty miles distant mat
ters of business. 1t was his first visit to the
place, and he proposed stopping for day, in
order to give himself an opportunity to look
about.
Walking leisurely along the street, he was
all at once accosted by child of five, who ran
up to him exclaiming:
ssFather, l want you to buy me some candy"
ssFatheri'' was it possible that he "a bachelor,
was addressed by that title He could not be-
leve it
"Who were you speaking to, my dear ?'' he
inquired of the little girl
81 spoke to you, father" said the little one,
surprised.
ssRealIy,'' thought Mr.. Eliphalet Brown,
tsthiS is embarrassing.
..I am not your father, my DEAR" he said.
What is your name ~
The child lau ghed heartily, evidently think
ing it good joke. 'sWhat funny father you
are," she said s'but you are going to buy me
some candy ?''
eyes, yes, 1'll buy you pound if you won't
call me father any more,' said Mr.. Brown,
nervously.
The little girl clappcd her hands with de-
light. The promise was all she remembered.
Mr.. Brown proceeded to a confectionery
which he placed in the hands of the little girl.
In coming out of the store they encountered
the child's mother.
go mother,'' said the little girl, s.just see
how much candy father has bought me-"
ssYou shouldn't have bought her so much at
time, Mr.. JONES' said the lady, al am afraid
she will make herself sick. But how did you
happen to get home SO quick L did not ex-
pect you till night
ssJones-I-madam,' said the embarrassed
Mr.. Brown, ssit's all a mistake; amt Jones
at all. II isn't my name. L am Eliphalet
Brown, of W, and this is the first time ever
came to this CITY,"
ssGood heavens, Mr.. Jones, what has put
this silly tale into your head You have con-
cluded to change your name, have you? Per-
haps it is your intention to change your wife ?''
Mrs. J Jones' tone was defiant, and this tended
to increase Mr.. Browns embarrassment.
s'I haven't any wife, madam L never had
any. On my word as gentleman L never
was married."
hssAnd do you intend 10 palm this tale off
upon me ?'' said Mrs. Jones, with excitement.
s.H you're not married, I'd like to know who
| am ~
81 have no doubt you are most respectable
lady, said Mr.. Brown, "and l conjecture,
from what you have said, that your name is
Jones but mine is Brown ,madam, and always
was.'
ssMelinda, 'Said her mother, suddenly taking
the child by the arm, and leading her up to
Mr.. Brown, ssMeinda, who is this gentlemana"
s.Why, that's father!'' was the child's i'm
mediate reply, as she confdingly placed her
hand in his.
"You hear that Mr.. Jones, do You? You
hear what the innocent child says, and yet you
have the unblushing impudence to deny that
you are my husband The voice of nature,
speaking through the child, should overwhelm
you. I'd like to know if you are not her father
why you are buying candy for her ! L would
like to have you answer that. But presume
you never saw her before in your life.''
81 never did. On my honor, | never did.
l told her would give her the candy if she
wouldn't call me father any more"
'.You did, did you? Bribed your own child
not to call you father! o, Mr.. Jones, that is
Infamous! Do you intend to desert me, sir,
and leave me to the cold charities of the
world and is this your first steP2''
Mrs. Jones was so overcome that, without
any warning, she fell back upon the sidewalk
in a faintng fit.
Instantly number of persons ran to her
sistance.
sis your wife subject to fainting in this
way ?" asked the first conner of Brown.
81 don't know. She isn't my wife. don't
know anything about her.
ssWhy, it's Mrs. Jones amt it ?''
ssYes, but Pm not Mr.. Jones'"
ssSir,'' said the first speaker, sternIy, sthis
is no time to lest. I trust that you are not the
cause of the excitement which must have oc-
casioned your wife's fainting fit. You had bet
ter call coach and carry her home directly"
Poor Brown was dumbfounded.
81 wonder'' thought he, sswhether it's pos
sible that Pm Mr. Jones without knowing it.
Perhaps I'm really Jones, and have gone crazy
in consequence of which fancy that my name
is Brown. And yet don't think Pm Jones.
In spite of all, will insist that my name is
Brown.''
"Wel, sir, what are you waiting for? 1t is
necessary that your wife should be removed
at once. Will you order carriage ?''
Brown saw that there was no use to protract
the discussion by denial. He, therefore,
without contesting the point, ordered a hack
ney coach to the spot.
Mr.. Brown accordingly lent an arm TO Mrs.
Jones, who had somewhat recovered, and was
about to close the door upon her.
ssWhy, are you not going yourself ?'
ssWhy, no; why should 2"
'sYour wife should not go alone; she has
hardly recovered
Brown gave a despairing glance at the crowd
around him, and deeming it useless to make
opposition where so many seemed thoroughly
convinced that he was Mr.. Jones followed the
lady in.
ssWhere shall drive 9'' said the whip
dill don't know,' said Mr.. Brown.
sWhere would you wish to be carried 20
"Home, of course" murmured Mrs. Jones.
ssWhere is that 20 asked the driver.
ssI do not know" said Mr.. Brown.
esNo. l9 H street, said the gentleman al
ready introduced, glancing contemptuously at
Brown.
"Will you help me out. Mr.. Jones 7'' said
the lady. ''I am not fully recovered from the
fainting fit into which your cruelty drove me-.
care you quito sure that am Mr.. Jones y
asked Mr.. Brown with anxiety.
ssOf course" said Mrs. Jones'