American union. [volume] (Morgantown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1855-1859, 1858-05-21
If humorous.
A Tale of the great Saratoga Trunk.

Old Anthracite has very dear wife
SO dear that she costs him on her
own private account about fifteen thou
sand dollars year. Mrs. Anthracite
always has the latest fashions, so when
the great Saratoga trunk was exhibi-
ted in Broadway, Mrs. A. instantly
purchased one for her summer trip.
Every one knows that the great Sar-
atoga trunk is an unexceptionablo
trunk. 1t is colossal-of Titanic pro-
portions. Cheops, the builder of the
great pyramid, might have found am
pie accommodation for his entire house
hold in the great Saratoga trunk.
Accordingly down went Mrs. A. to
the great watering place with her great
trunk. She had not been long there
however, when old Antrachite received
a private telegram from friend to in
form him that Mrs. A. was flirting des.
peratcly with young Belzebub, the son
of old Belzebub the great soap maker.
Anthracite instantly takes the train,
appears at the hotel, and inquiring the
number of his wife's room, quietly
walks up stairs. His wifcs door is
shut. Anthracite knocks. Door op.
ems after some delay. Mrs. A. appears
huttercd, which hutter increases to dis.
may when she sees her husband. Hus-
band enters coolly; explains that ho
just come to see how she was getting
on, and seats himself on the Saratoga
trunk. Drops glove the picking up
OF which enables him to look under tho
bed. No one there. Mrs. A. looked
as If some one ought to be there. IIus-
band talks Of the weather, and the pair
are sitting down to little light con.
versation, when old Anthracite remarks
quietly: .. ..... ..0'~.
"Nhs. A., there is rat in your
trunk"
Mrs. a. turns pale through her
paint. No. Husband is mistaker.-
The rat is in the wainscot. They are
always there, those rats. Husband is
sure it is in the trunk. He smells him,
he will examine. Mrs. A. very anx.
ious lie should not. Ho can't. The
trunk is shut and she has lost the kew.
Husband begs to contradict. The kew
was in the lock, and what was more
the lid was open.
Husband, amid the protestations Of
Mrs. A., halfraised the lid. No GRIN
oline, no shawls, no lace, no furbelows
IN the great Saratoga trunk; only
young Belzebub's glossy curls and xii
ling moustacho are visible. Mrs. A.
instantly faints. It's the privilege of
her sex, on such occasions. What does
husband do? Shoot young Belzebub?
Not bit of it. He smiles grimly and
shuts the lid down again, locking the
greet Saratoga trunk. lie rinqs tho
bell, tells the waiter to bring a gimlct,
Bores few holes in the great trunk.
Orders up the porter and goes of to
New York accompanied by the great
Saratoga trunk. What would tho
trunk not have given for cigar in o.
baggage, when it smelled the tobacco
smoke that was so literally pulled about.
The trunk, although nearly suffocated
thought it best to keep quiet. Arriv.
ed at New York, old Anthracite told
the people at the depot, loud enough
Tor the great Saratoga trunk to hear
him, that he would leave his baoeorc
at the office for few days when ho
would send for it. lie then went off.
This was more than the great trunk
could bear, so it kicked, shouted, and
made noise, until it was broken o.
pen, to the amazcment of every BODY,
poor Bclzebub crawlcd out in limpinc
condition. lie tried to tell the people
that it was done for bet, but somehow
the truth leaked out, and predict that
next summer there will bc fewer great
Saratoga trunks at the springs. /
think old Anthracite had the best Off
don't you?