Bellevue gazette. [volume] (Bellevue City, N.T. [i.e. Neb.]) 1856-1858, 1858-07-22

But the other night | went with Dam.
phool to drink Lager Beer, because an
convinced it dose not contain half as much
alcohol as distiIlery milk, and there is nc
more danger of man getting drunk up.
on Lager than sweet cream.
We went TO the place there was q
huge stuffed alligator nailed against the
wall, end about fifty men were sitting
around the tables each with pipe in his
mouth and glass in his fist Twenty
girls were running about with grea! clus.
ters of bier mugs in their hands, and with
their pockets full of copper change.
There was a little space at the end OF
the room devoted TO music, containing one
piano with Dutchman attached, two vio-
Inns, horn with SO many twists and curls
that it looked like very elaborate edition
of Yankee Doodle done IN brass, and IA
pariarchal fiddle of immense proportions,
which scorned to utter n note of less dig
nifty than the double G, and which was
big enough for two to sleep in, with room
TO turn over separately.
After a long search we found two
chairs which were not pre-empted by
Dutchmen, but the smoke was so thick we
had to cut little air-holes with our jack.
knives before we could see 10 sit down
without getting into somebody beer mug.
Then we thumped on the table vigorous.
ly till German lady loomed through the
tobacco fog, and finally answered our
summons. Some one of her playful coun-
tryman had just baptised her with beer
slops, and she was now dripping from the
recent food, and as wet as if she had been
out in shower of lager without an UNI
brella.
Damphool gave her feeble wink, and
said zwei," whereupon she brought us,
with her own fair hands, two mugs of the
beverage known as lager and stood
waiting with her hands on her hips.
Thought she wanted to enter into a con-
versation, so by way of making myself
agreeable, winked as Damphool had,
and also said "zwie." Thought "zwei"
was a term of endearment. She desert
ed US for an instant, and came back with
two more mugs of beer. ! imagined of
course "zwei " meant darling, and tha,
she had misunderstood me. Attempted
to explain in "a manner following zwei,
zwei," said | " no more bier, but zwei -
after which lucid explanation she vanish
ed and brought two more mugs, at which
Damphool stopped laughing long enough
to tell me she would keep bringing pint
doses of lager as long as continued to
remark zwie," which he informed me
meant "two glasses of lager, and be in
hurry about He said also that the rea-
son she did not leave when she served us,
was because she wanted her change.
Paid her the money-lhanked my friend
for his gratuitous lesson in German, and
began to drink.
The first glass seemed like sour strong
beer with good deal of water in it the
next was not quite so sour, and the next
one tasted as though the original beer had
been stronger, and they had not diluted it
so much. Then we rested, and as had
drank three plnts already, was willing
to quit. but Damphool assured me Lager
isn't intoxicating;" so after a litle settling
down, | thought | could hold another glass,
and ordered it /; it was brought by young
lady who seemed to have four eyes and
two noses, pointing in different directions,
which usual effect was undoubtedly caused
by smoke.
Then | thought I'd have a glass of La
ger, "a liquid known to most of the in
habilanls of Manhaltan.) Itwas brought
by a girl so pretty, that Immediately or.
dered two more, and kept her waiting
for the change each time so as could
look at her. Then we had some cheese
full of holes; then We had some Lager
to fill up the holes; then we took sau.
sage; Damphool suggested that the sau.
sage was made of dog, and so we had
some Lager to drown the dog then we
had some sardines; Damphool said it
would be cruel 10 keep the fish without
supply of the liquid element, 30 we had
some Lager for the fish to swim in then
we had some bretzels. DaInphool said
the bretzels were so crooked that they
would not pack close, so we had some
Lager to fill up the chinks Then
made speech to the company; short but
TO the point, and received with applause.
1t was addressed to the whole crowd, and
was to this effect: " Gentlemen let's have
some Lager"
BY this time my friend had by some
mysterious process become mysteriously
multiplied, and there were fifty Dam.
phools, and they all accepted the invita-
ton; and we had the lager; there were
forty glasses, and in trying TO make the
circuit of the room and touch my glass to
every one of theirs, / fell over a table
which very imperlinently stepped before
me, and as | went down | knocked a
small Dutchmnn into the corner, then fell