The Nevada journal., 1858-04-30
Swallowing an Oyster Alive.
BY JOHN $. RoBB, (soLITAlRE.)


At late hour Of the night, the door
of an oyster house in St. Louis was thrust
open, and in stalked hero from the
Sucker State. He was quite six foot
high, spare, somewhat stopped, with
hungry and anxious eOuntenance, and
his hands pushed clear down to the bot
toms of his breeches pockets. His outer
covering hard to define, but after survey
ing it minutely, we came to the conclu-
sion that his suit had been made in his
boyhood of dingy yellow linsey wool
sey, and that, having sproutcd up with
astonishing rapidity, he had been forced
to piece it out with all colors in order to
keep pace with his body. In spite of all
his exertions. however, he had fallen in
arrears about foot Of the necessary
length, and consequently stuck that far
through his inexpresslbles, His crop of
hair was surrounded by the funniest lit
tie seal skin cap imaginable. After tax
ing a position, he indulgsd in a long stare
at the man opening the bicalceS, and
| slowly jaculated-''ist9ls 2"
Eyes, sir" responded the attentive
operator, 'and fine ones they are too"
"Well, I've heard of isters afore,"
says he, "but this is the fust time I've
seed 'em, and prehaps I'll know what
thar made Of afore l get out of town.
Having expressed this desperate in
tention, he cautiously approached the
plate, and scrutinized the uncased she'll
fish with a gravity and interest which
would have done honor to the most illus
trious searcher into the hidden mysteries
Of nature. AT length he began to solil-
! oquize the difficulty Of getting them out,
and how queer they looked when out.
Il never seed any thing hold on So
takes an amazin' site of screwin, hoss,
to get them out, and amt they slick and
slippery when they does come ! Smooth
as an eel! I've good mind to give
that feller lodgin, just to realize the
effects as uncle Jess used to say about
speka laship.''
"Well, sir, was the reply, "down with
two bits, and YOU can have dozen"
1.-TWO bits!" exclaimed the sucker,
'now come, that stickin it on rite strong.
for isters. A dozen on 'em amt nothin
to a chicken, and there's no gettin'
more'n picayune apiece for them. I've
only realized forty-fve picayunes on my
first venture to St. Louis I'll tell you
what, III gin you two chickens for
dozen, if you'll conclude to DEAL
A wag who was standing by indul ging
in a dozen, winked to the attendant 10
shell out, and the offer was accepted.
Nov mind, repeated the sucker, "all
fair-two chickens for a dozen-youre
a witness, mister" turning at the same
time to the wag; ''none of your tricks.
for I've heard that you city fellows are
mighty slippery coons."
The bargain being fairly understood,
our sucker squared himself for the onset;
deliberately took off his seal skin cap,
tucked up his sleeves, and fork in hand
awaited the appearance of No. l. 1t
came-he saw-and quickly it was bolt
ed. a moments dreadful pause ensued
The wag dropped his knife and fork and
with look Of amazement and horror
something akin to Shakspeare's Hamlet
on seeing his daddy's ghost, while he
burst into the exclamation:
"Swallowed alive, as I'm a Chris
tian!"
Our sucker friend had opened his
mouth with pleasure moment before,
but now it stood open. Fear, a horrid
dread of he didn't know what-a con
sciousness that allwas not right, and ig
4 ha e = ho Ia
uncertainty of the moment was terrible.
Urged to desperation, he faltered out:
"What ON earth's the row 2"
did you swallow 1t alive % inquired
the wag,
81 swallowed it just as he gin it to
me !" shouted the sucker.
"Iou're dead man." exclaimed his
anxious friend, ''the creature is alive
and will eat right through you," added
he in most hopeless tone.
Get pizen pump and pump it out p
screamed the sucker, in frenzy, his
eyes fairly starting from their sockets.
"Oh gracious-what will do 2-its got
holt of my inards already, and I'm dead
as chicken do something for me, do
don't let the internal sea-toad eat me
afore your eyes
"Why don't you put some of this on
it p inquired the wag, pointing to bot
tie of strong pepper-sauce.
The hint was enough-the sucker
upon the instant, seized the bottle, and
desperately wrenching out the cork,
swallowed half the contents at single
draught. He fairly squealed from its
effects, and gasped and blowed, and
pitched and twisted. as if it were cours-
ing through him with electric effect, while
at the same time his eyes ran a stream
of tears. At length, becoming a little
composed, his waggish adviser approa CHI
ed, almost bursting with suppressed
laughter, and inquired
How are you now, old fellow--did
you kill it 2''
"Well, did, hoss--ugh o-o-o--my in
nards. If that ister critters dying ago
nies didn't stir 'ruption in me equal to
a small earthquake, then 'taint no use