Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1858-07-10

TO fashions circles ! All so nice
They would not tolerate one vice
IN danes, of Gammer's low estate
Enough overlooked among the great.
That dame had faults there's no denying
a.! have, except the dead and dying
Her temper was, when raised and wrolhy,
4 perfect tempest, fierce and fothy-
BESIDES she was TOO fond Of show
And loved TO CAD much more than sew
She 'ed old Gaffier in the mill
10 tend ihe hopper and the ill.
AND she lis income as he might
BY weary toiling day and night.
Whilst she regardless of his ease
Sought only her own self to please
Squandsred his hard earned, scanty cash,
II useless furbalows and trash /;
That neither would. nor could conduce
To comfort health nor honest use;
Not seeking as was said before,
To keep The Wolf from her own door.
Now gentle reader, don't suppose
That Gammer Sludge was on Of those
GhTew, selfish crones. who ioUe not any {;
Her great fault was, she loved TOO mdny.
Her rauting mood ne'er knew depression
Though lacking in nice discretion
Thar first prime factor of society,
Vastly remote from nOtoriety.
But Gammer meant in sober brown
To cuis swell in tina, old town:
And hence decided-gOssips say
To have famous ROut" one dsy.
For his great gap in moral grade
Mnsi te hrldged up" she inly said,
And hence. that famed old stepping stone
o. worldly pride and monkish drone--
The Church was made the costs TO pay,
Il fashion common in this day.
"'ils just the thing" old Gammer said,
Twill qua>h some tails. Of prying bred,
II ave glorious ring. Lsay--
The church shall for the telling pay"
But then. to get frs,-raie chime
Some folks 10 s,eeple top must climb.
Soon as the thought had crossed her brain
Dame went TO work with might and main!
And in due lime were sent about
Catds to the Gammers select rout
But lest there should be some false play.
She held Three trumps in lead that day.
Two OF the three were aces-best.
Of clubs and spades, in high behe.t.
The frs, was GoDjns, who -nresided =
Nhavfe qnarterage was oft divided
Second, McClintock, one We deem
AS smooth as cats that lap sweet cream
lie held Professorship of tongues
Though not endowed with stentor lungs
The third was Roswell, Knare of Hearts
Quite up to willy 'portsmen's arls.
Who once taught grammar college
But loved good eating more than know
ledge,
and Gammar being queen Of cooks
Soon caugh, him fast upon her hooks.
The Dame was crafty too they say,
Was to the Roswell mild as may.
She for him incest nicknacks made,
For which old Gaflier dearly paid
She bought 10 cure his heart disease,
The very best "Sapsucker cheese
And nearly run off her old legs,
TO serve him oysters and 'Jorked eggs
And sent him on a "SalnmGnder"
Sweet bouquets Of the "Hoiy Gdnder.
All this she did because she said
"Hs had the portico in his head"
But reader mind. between Us two.
The Roswell winked at Gammer too ~
He iocked the cradle. laced her shoe.
AS other madams' gallants do
Led off of nights when home from church
And left old Gaffier in the lurch :!
Presenting gowns and trinkets new,
And now aud then biHetdour.
In TACT iolks thought him quite too game
In Growing thus around the dame,
Onlh ile Thing got wind some how,
That he had Rugged the miller's Frow.
we know not where the truth lies here,
Nor for his tricks, have curious ear.
But Tor ODD tastes there's no accounting,
Each buys the nag tha, suits his mounting.
And men are rarely found too tame
To handy jokes with jolly dame.
All that ,0e say Of it. is, we
Believe he loved the Gammer's tea.
For Of. at midnight hour were found,
by check--by jole"--to Gafier's bound;
The two in cozy mood--when they
Would feast on game the gossips say,
And ,here right merry vigils keep.
The miller aud all hands asleep,
Dame said "Thst tale was told in spite,
"Because the Parson was polite -
8u, lei them take it ou, in talking
"And those who love 10 walk in walking
Kut we commenced 20 tell about
he Parsons al ibe Gammer's rout
all things were now in ready plight,
And day had donned The robes Of night