Muscatine weekly journal. [volume] (Muscatine, Iowa) 185?-1890, 1858-06-05
WIT AND HUMOR.

~ ''Patrick, when will the water stop
running down hill z" When it gets to tho
bottom, sure, you spalpeen
GB Politeness is a social passport all over
the world, I'd good society is the best school
in which it is TO be learned. r. -
W "Jury," said an Arkansas Judge,
'tyou kin go out and find verdict. If yoa
can't find one of your own, get the one the
last jury used" They returned verdict Of
suicide in the ninth degree. sa
SERMON OF QUAKER-My friend, bride
thy tongue, to enable thee to remain quiet;
mind thine own business, and thee will not
have much time to attend to that of others,
and thee will have many friends and few
enemies. -..- ..."
DISAPPOINTED HoPE.-Among the nrmer.
Gus casualties recently detailed, the follow
ing is very melancholy "The young man
who recently went on bridal tour with an
angel in book muslin, has returned with
terIngant in hoops"
E| A young lady proposes that young
men and women be set up in housekeeping
beto' they are allowed to be engaged that
the young woman shall wash, and dust, and
mend, and that new born infant be pro-
cured from The hospital, and that she have
the charge of it, in addition to the rest of
her duties. She is of the opinion that this
would "disenchant" the young couple !a
~ "Pompey, did you take that note to
MIR. Jones % ''Es massa'' s'Did you sec
hm?" ''Es massa, me did," 'How did he
look ~ "Why massa he looked pooty well,
'siderng he's SO blind" "Blind! what do
you mean by that?'' "Why, massa, when
was in the room, gibbng de papers, he
axed whar my hat was, and perhaps you
won't believe me, but massa, he war on dc
top Of my head de whole time"
"RATHER STEEp."-Do any of our read.
ers know the origin of the phrase ''rather
steep?' When price is too high for man.
means, or a story too incredible for his
faith, he pronounces it srather ste, p." We
fancy that we have detected it in the follows
ing, from Pennsylvania paper: "a Ger.
tain facetious acquaintance of ours, was, .
few days ago, ''poking fun' at the very high
and steep hills which give such an air Of
sublimity to some parts of our country, and
said that he had seen cultivated hills SO pre-.
cipitous that he had to lie on his back to zee
the top! whereupon he was taken down BY
another sharp customer in this style: II
once was at place where the fields weres0
steep that the people looked up their chim-
neys to see whether their cows were coming
home !" rr GA. r4sd s gat t
W A good story is told of an old lady
who had received a letter from her son. .
sailor on board merchantmen. It runs
thus: M
"Have been driven into the bay Of Fundy
by pamposse right in the teeth. 1t blew
great guns and carried away the bowsprit:
heavy sea washed overheard the pinnacle
and companion the captain lost his quad
rant and couldn't take any observation for
fifteen days; at last we arrived at Halifax.
q The old woman, who could not read her.
self, got neighbor to repeat it to her three
or four times, until she thought she bad
it by heart. She then sailed out to tell the
story. ssi#} " 4' A,s '-s'i'' -''ii-s -
'Oh my poor son n?''11aHaH 8as sIs.at.@
s'Why, what's the matter, rmotherf
hope no mischief" s:{, re AZ
mo, thank God, he's safe But he has
been driven into the bay Of FirmaneDt By
O bamboozle right in the teeth-it bl0wed
great guns, and carried away the pulpit
a heavy sea washed overheard the pinnicIs
of the tabernacle-the captain lost his con-
Duration, and couldn't get any salvation for
fifteen days--at last they arrived at Halle.
lujah!' .saat hGa gaa.r zsyIa9,.
''La, bless me! what wonder they wasn't
beat to atoms. Well, l wouldn't be
sailor. 0~
Ew The following is literal copy q .
bill drawn up and about TO be Introduced
into the California Assembly BY an honest
miner-a member Of the Lower House
AN ACT
To prevent niggers kuminin In Kolly-
forny. 3rsa q a.1l.is ss0 as5s Is
The people 40 the Stait uv KsllItefNH, ~
presented in Sennit and Assembly, d. g.
50 act as follows: 4
Sko. /. No nigger not now IN inhAbttont
Nv, in, and legul, voter in this stsit, shall -
permitted to liv, rezide, Or stay il. this atoit
emmy longer. s.sas i.
SEQ. 2. Emmy niegsr hoo willfully ~ sxi-
IDENTIFY violats the furst seckshun nv 81 this
aekt shall bee transported from thk stsit
and sold to tho lowest bidder, Cinnamon ex-
cuded.
SEC 8. Niggers who cum with their mas-
ters tn soiurn temporarily shell not be In
klewded in the priyizions nv this ackt pso.
vided: such snjurning don't exceed 40 yoasDs
II emmy ship gifts rocked on the shoars Nv
this stait with nigger, on .borde and Il
such nigger shed tri tu swim, he shall II
pushed under the wotter. ~ S.
& $50 4. Ackts or parts nv ackts conUus
rveninin this, is repealed. s:sS .ssS
Enackting CLAUS "A nigger i heFe>t
klared anr obnokshus newsans, not fesvo
permitted, and evry Sheriff in this stsdt
be nigger driver if he chuses. N sssss@
NJ = fse "a q