The Shasta courier., 1858-02-27
The tennessee squir. of the olden Time.

There fourished for many years. in certain
village in the good state of Tennessee, an eccen-
trio fellow who rejoiced in the name of Peter
lizard. For many years he filled the important
Office known in the various parts of the Union
as Magistrate, Alderman, or Justice of the Peace.
The following is a sample of Squire lzard's mode
of proceeding
A gentleman by the name of McMurran was
riding through c., where his horse lost
shoe For replacing it the blacksmith, whose
name was Enos Bildo charged the cool sum of
an eagle-or, rather, two sovereigns. Naturally
indignant our traveller refused to pay such an
exorbitant demand and he was arrested at the
suit of the son of Vulcan.
There being no other resource Mr.. McMurran
was escorted to the magistrates Office, back of
the bar.
After being introduced to the most august
presence of the Squire, and the charge stated
the following dialogue occurred:
Well, sir, what is your name?
McMurran, sir
Humph, Mr.. McMurran-no other name?'
John McMurran, SIR
mo, Mr.. McMurran-no alias
s0f course have not, sir-I have no need of
one
Where do live, Mr.. Carrion?'
MY name amt Carron-I told you it is Nc
| Murran.'
We'll, Mr. Merton, did you make any bargain
for shoeing your horse !?
'No, sir
Then, Mr.. Burton, you acted, sir-excuse me
like foolr
/ don't come here to be insglted sir, and no
man shall talk so to me 7 cried Mac.
/ know you did not Mr.. Fulton-keep 81
lence, or I'll fine you-you acted, sir-don't
contradict me-like perfect fool-and let this
be a warning, sir, never to trust such scoun-
dre as Enos Bildo (the SMITH farther than YOU
can sling bull by the tail, sir; ito the plain
tiff | mean you-you sku- k You'd steal the
copper off your dead mothers eye, you poor, no.
souled hog
The sentence of the court is that you, Enos
Bildo, shall have two dimes for your work,
which is all it's worth, and if you say another
word I'll knock you down. Clear this court
Fully satisfied with this verdict, and highly
amused with this adventure, Mac. went on his
way.
This way of confounding names was a favor
ite hobby of the Squire's and he was an adept
in the art On one occasion, when he was sum-
moned as a witness before a State Court one of
the lawyers undertook to pay him off in his own
coin. When the Squire took the witness stand
the following dialogue occurred:
What is your name sir p
Peter lard
How old are you, Mr.. Lizard 2
Ny name is Izard-Peter lizard.
| beg your pardon, Mr.. Gizzard, but | am a
little hard of hearing this morning.
Izard, sir-Izard
'Ah, | understand. Well, Mr.. Buzzard, how
old are your
Now, look here, mister, that's not my name
and won't answer
You won't answer my question, Mr.. Trizzle
we'll see about that Now, sir, what's youI
age, Mr.. Drizzle?'
The witness maintained a dogged silence.
Perhaps he'd better spell his name for you,
said the court, choking with laughter
Eye, cried the witness. zed-ay-ar-deep
well, your honor, called him by that name
all along-Weasel.'
ANY fool might know it spells lizard shout
ed Peter
May it please the court interposed the at
torney, throwing himself up with air of dig
nifty, either this witness, Measels, must be re-
moved, or shall withdraw from the bar
You rascal beloved the infurated Peter.
Sheriff. take charge of the Witness cried the
court sitting for moment its mirth, for the
only sober faces in the assemblage those
of the lawyer and the witness.
You be hanged 7 called out Squire lard
'you and the court, too, you low-lived vaga-
bondr
"A mittimus to the Jail for three days, and So
fine 2 cried the court
He, the Sheriff, came up TO Peter to carry hin
off,
What's my name, Tom cried the Squire al
he was led out.
Peter Izard,' was the prompt response.
The following day the Squire was pardonet
and his fine remitted but never afterwards die
be venture to use the weapon that had been 81
effectually turned on himself.