The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1858-03-04
VARIETY.

IL thou, my dear and she wilted
VARIETY.
,ry blossoms but never bears
no legs; but scandal has wings
aen live as If they were DOOR all their lives.
lthy when they die.
, is an antidote against n slanderous tonrue
sgrsw old betimes; but injuries are long
iess is little better than . halfway house
IL cident and design.
ok wiser than eagles, and many a sheep
ses for chamois
iness is pig with slippery tail. which
one runs after, but nobody can hold
BrocIin- self is always corruptinr: but to
rod on self and wrongs is to ripen for madness and
n1rier, and all crime.
NIGHr AND MaIS.-Gordon Cumming. the preat
run slayer, was telling Rogers one day how he once
-1me. unarmed. upon huge lion. ssThinkinp to
Tighten him. ran Mt him with all my might, ;, said
Wv with all his name, suppose," Exactly so.''
al Cumming.
ryyBRTuSATE-An exchange paper <ely eravely
Informs that young man who was recently bath
ry in the Mississippi river, seeing a number of
iyFes approach, drowned himself from motives of
ielic,cy.
"TrSrIoyp' exclaimed Irish sergeant to his
platoon; IS front face, and tind to rowl call As
many OF We is presnt will say = Here = and as
many Of We as is not presint viii say sAbsint y %
Rsrosr.-A man met an old woman in an English
pxu driving several asses. Adeu, mother of
ssesl cried he "Adieu, my son. was the old
cnue's reply. The fellow went his way. feeling for
his ears
C,rcH Up WITH HIN Sooy.-An Irishman on
being asked which the elder. he or his brother
-piei, "I am the Oldest. but il my brother lives
hree years. we shall both be of an age.''
| Fscr IN NATURAL HrsroRY-Last winter IL is
ai, hoatei down the Mississippi on piece of
ice, and became cold that she has MIXED nothing
tu, ice-creams ever since.
SrsaULAR--To see boarding ng-.chool Miss afraid
il CIV, notwithstanding she did "all the milking
70 hun" few months previous.
wELL-KSowS WIT SAYS $50 No Yankee IS satis-
is with the truth unless you satisfy him that il
sorth eight or ten per cent
"How many knaves do you suppose live in this
Beside myself Do you mean to insult me 30
swell, then. how many do you reckon including
ruuself,"
"shrlI we take bus up Broadway" said a
paag New Yorker, who was showing his country
susin about town. ooh, dear, no 30 said the
iarmsI girl, ST would do that in the street,
An said Seraphine Angelica, speaking on some
srhiet in which her feelings warmly enlisted,
"haw gI,ily I would embrace an opportunity
wauh were an opportunity ~ interrupted her
Slshfal lover.
THE LAST wILLIsrsN-N. p. Willis describes a
sheet Of blotting paper from Washington Iryiug's
TEX 1.-THE door mat which the thoughts of
lrvinz's last book had wiped their sandals as they
vent i'm
RrssraS ISrASrRY-The baby son Of the Grand
Dass Nicholas has been named by the Emperor
ierinier as the colonel Of regiment to be called
iencef6rth, in honor Of their commander, the Top
andbo;tomsofskys Punch.
Jamshid was the first person who wore rings on
rs fingers, and these he only his left hand.
When asked why he djd not ornament the right
cent for the right is the ornament Of being right"
Woman sometimes turns out to be little
'svi, : and possibly the gentleman mentioned below
sis only little descripfire in his phraseology.
hiy. relating her matrimonial experience, said EAT
arst. retiring of cold night my husband used to
az to nc Put your dear little FOOTE'S with mine :;
'Ht soon it was, Keep you hoofs off Of me- -
I'm going to draw this bean into knot. . as the
1iy said when standing at the hymeneal altar.
"rm not very Incredible said Mrs Partington,
boxing mp from the paper and glancing over her
sDecs at Ike, who sat making Windmill out Of the
fra1e Of his slate, and beliexe much any
rs''caal person ought to- have beaoyed all about
ne Dssilport boys and the other lul things
ipi all that has been said agn em; and the story of
mans climbing pole AMI pulling it up after him,
ini Of the that held himself out arms length,
0at t s beyond any belief that cargo of molasses
eah change hands," She passed the paper from
her right hand to her left though it n hogs
nesf OF moltsses and then resumed her reading with
prOsund idea that the editor in making the state
nent was humbugging her.
CooLSEss.-Sam Slick tells = story about an over
gown hulk Of Yankee boy who was sent to the
"9odpile by his father cold winter evening. for
!" back log FOR the kitchen fire. The youth went
,a' out instead Of bringing in good substantial
ss' only brought thin little stick-or brazil, as
ne Pennsylvania Germans say. His father immedi-
aeiy gave him good whipping and sent him after
-ao'her log But the youth, having his sc dander"
ased, left the house. vent to Boston, and shipped
% vessel which made a voyage Of several years.
In course Of time the youth came back and started
zone on foot. 1t was winter, and just such an
e'ening as the which he left home. So.
= H'enembering his fathers order. the young man
pekd up huge log and, staggering into the house,
a,eW 1t down on the hearth before his astonished
l'her and mother. and quietly said
rarher, here's that back log you sent me for"
ine Old gentleman, not to be ourdone in coolness,
'ephed, with a touch Of severity:
= We'll. you're been darned long time about II 30
we were reminded Of this story by the following
inch We fnd floating about, uncredited:
certain distinguished citizen Of Milwaukee,
: sconsin, who has filled the highest Office in the
a'e was once in the employ Of farmer in Western
,eW York Among other things it was his duty TO
bring in the cows One evening the cows and
~ came mp missing" Some years after, the
4rmer was passing down East Water street, Milwau-
'se' and saw the name Of his cowboy the door
|. one OF the largest hardware houses in the West
= walked in and found his boy in the counting
ON He stared a moment on the truant, and then
s0ke ont With "Hallo, Len, have you found them
.s yets One can imagine what followed-a
al,aai recognition II is said the old farmer was
''''ned without q breach Of the peace
Siy not such a one Is drunkard because you
w a1e seen him drunk; for act alone Is not sufi-
'enf to constitute n vice The stood still
|. : nsor Of the victory Of Joshua, and darkened
.aotner time in favor Of that of our Saviour; yet
Inc sne VIII say that the sun is either immovable
''rx St Peter had not sanguinary disposition
,'ase ne once she'd blood, nor was he . blasphemer
y. s'use ne once blasphemei. To require the name
noe or virtue, the action must be habitual; one
!, nave made some Vrogress in IL It is, then,
-: tustice to say that such is passionate or