Freeman's champion., 1858-03-18
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l;,tJa r;ocno Sal ~ her n mo was


and kissed me right ON my lips, HUI
man nature couldn't stand that, and
| gave her as good as she sent. II
was the first time ! ever got o taste,
and it was powerful good. | behave
| could have kissed that gal from Ju-
lius Cezar to tho Fourth Of July.
"Jack," said she, fwo are sorry to
disturb you, but won't you see me
home ?" Eyes" said /, "I will" l
did do it, and had another smack at
the gate, too After that we took a
kinder turtle -deving after each other,
both of us sighing ,likela barrel of
new cider, when we were away from
each other. Twas ut the close OF a
glorious summer day-thc sun was
setting behind distant hen roost-
the bull frogs were commencing their
evening songs-the polly-wogS, in
their native mud-puddles, were pre-
pairing themselves for the shades Of
highland Sal and myself sat upon
an antiquated backlog, listening to
the music of nature such as tree
toads, ROSTERS and grunting pigs, and
now and then the mellow music OF a
distant jackaSs was waited to our ears
by the gentle zephyrs that sighed
among the mullen stalks, and came
heavy laden with the delicious odor
of hen roosts and pig styes. The last
lingering rays Of the setting sun,
glancing from the brass buttons Of a
solitary hoiseman shone through a
knot-hole in the hog pen full in SAILS
face, dying her hair an orange-peel
hue, and showing off my thread bare
coat to bad advantage-one OF my
arms was around Sal's waist, my
hand resting on the small of her back
she was toying with my auburn
locks of jet black hue-she was all
most gone and I was ditto. She
looked like a grasshopper dying with
the biccups, and | felt like a mud
turtle choked with Goldfish ball
"Sal," said l, in voice musical as
the notes of dying swan, "will you
have me?" She turned her eyes heav-
onward, clasped me by the hand, had
an attack of the heaves and blind
staggers, and with sigh that drew
her shoe-strings to her palate, said,
" Yes !" She gave clear out, then,
and squatted in my lap-she cork
screwed and | curllumixed and relied
in it, | Rugged her till broke my
Suspenders, and her breath smelt Of
onions she ate two weeks before
Well, to make a long story short, she
set the day, and we practiced Tor four
weeks every night how we would
walk into the room to be married, till
we got so we could walk as graceful
as couple Of Muscove ducks. The
night, the company, and the minister
came, the signal was given, and arm
in arm we marched through the crowd
cd hall, we wore just entering the par
lor door, when, down | went kerslap
on the oil-cloth, pulling Sal after me.
Some cussed fellow had dropped a
banana skin on the floor, and it iloored
me. II split an awful hole in my cas-
simeres right under my dress coat-tail,
1t was too late to back out, SO clap
ping my hand over it, we marched in
and were spliced, and taking a seat
watched the kissing Of the bride op-
Grafton, My groomSman was tight,
and he kissed her till j jumped up to
take a slice, when, oh, horror a lit
tlo six-ysar-old imp had crawled be-
hind me, and pulling my shirt through
tho hole in my pants, had pinned il
to the chair, and in Jumping up, ]
displayed to the admiring gaze OF the
astonished multitude, a triao more
white muslin than was pleasant. The
women giggled, the men roarcd, and
got mad, but was finally put to bod
and there all my troubles ended
| Good nipht.