Wilmington journal. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1844-1895, 1858-04-16
A Race with A w,ao,v

|
Merciful Jehosophat and big onions, what time I've
had with that widder We chartered an omnibus for
two, on Christmas, and started. " Widder" said T.
Where shall we go to-" She bushed, and said she did
MT like to say. told here she must say
"Well, Jehuel if you insist upon it, and am to have
my choice, I'd rather 60 to church,
"What for, wdder ?" said l.
"Oh, Jehuel, how can you ask me?"
"'Cause l want to know said I. .
"Wel (blushing redder than beet it is such cold
weather now and the nights are so awful cold and-oh
Jehuel, cant stand it J"
"Oh, pshaw, wdder spit it out what do you mean?"
The wdder riled she billed right over like quart
Of milk on the fire. and burst out with
If you can't understand me, you're heartless brute
so you are"
Hold your horses p said l. "What's all this about?
m not brute nor never and if man called me
that I'D boot him, sure"
And then billed right over and unbuttoned nv coat
collar to keep me from Dustin off my buttons. The
wldder saw was going to explode, or else collapse my
windppe, and she flung her arms around my neck put
her lips to mine, and cooled right down.
"Jehuel dear J" said she in an nsinivatin' way and
voice as sweet as hand organ, "Jehue honey, want
ed to go to church to get mar-no l say it all
you finish the word Jehuel sweet
"What word, marin ?'
"Oh, you stupid; Jehuel dear, mean the word mar
ried, love-
Married, widder !' said l "dd you mean that ?"
Indeed L did, Jehuel, over
Look here, marm my name isn't Jehuel Love, nor
Jehue Dear, nor Jehue Sweet, I'd have you to know;
and won get married to nobody but one and you are
not the She"
oh, pewter pennies, but didn't she rave! She made
one dash at me- lodged andshe went butt up against
the upper end of the omnibus. Crack went her comb
and smash went that bran new bonnet that didn't buv
tor her, and down she went with her face in the straw
But IN moment she again, and made one more
dash at me. dropped-she went over me and butted
the door Of the omnibus The strap broke and out she
went-her gaiter boots higher than her head as she
struck the pavement.
Drive onH' yelled to the driver.
"Woman overheard p cried passing sailor
Stop that White Coat-breach of promise-reWard
Herald publish" shreked the widder, in tones of
mortal agony while tears of blood streamed from her
beautiful pug nose.
Drive on drive on I' shouted
"Where to p asked the driver.
" 10 the devil-to Harlem-to Macombs Danl-any-
where, so that we escape matrmony and the wdder"
He started, so did the wdder and then we had it up
the avenue the buss having the start of about hundred
yards Foot by foot the widder gained Thinks l. Je-
huel, you goner / thought it best to tighten
ship. So first have'overboard thestraw.
Still she gained on me. Then overheard the cush-
ions. But still she gained
More steam, driver for mercy's sake r' [ yelled
ave are going faster than the law allows now" he
answered. " Thirteen miles an hour
Jehosophat, how the widder run she hove off her
bonnet and came up hand hand A thought struck
me- so Oft with my white coat and flung it right down
in her path. She sprang it like she panther and
tore it to pieces. Oh how they flew. wept to see it
go, but life is sweeter than coat and my tailor is MAX
ing me new one. Here we gained full two hundred
yards, but on she again Once more l could see
the green in her eyes-merciful Moses, how felt.
"Driver," said |, kill them horses OR get another
mile ont of thero."
| "Wiu you pay for 'em ?" he said
Yes, yes," said l. " only save me from the wilder"
BY crackey, we did side the widow no longer gained
but she held her own beautifully Thus we had t-out
past the Red House-through Harlem-where Captain
Graham, with three mounted policemen in vain attemp-
ted to catch u.s. he probably supposing that we were
running away with some bank fund.
My only hope in reaching Degroots ahead of her.
for knew they would hide We were on the bridge
through Driver" said I, jump that bridge and Iii
make your fortune for life, sure as you're born"
| "I'll do it or die ~ he cried And he did it. The
widder jumped after us, fell into the Harlem river and
| hasn't been heard of since.