The Feliciana Democrat., 1858-09-04
THE CAPTAIN WHO NEVER RACED

Il n
Early in the spring of the last year, a mag
niGcent new steamer was launched upon the
Ohio river and shortly afterwards made her ap.
pearance at the lourishng city OF Cincinnati.
Gilt edged covers envelopcd the captains res.
pect," accompanied with invitations to "sec her
through" upon the first trip, being forwarded
to the editorial corps in that vicinity the chalk
ed hats were numerous on that occasion. It'll
was q grand affair, this debut o! floating pal
ace which has since maintained her rcpntc I'M
furnished as the "crack boat "par excellence up
on the Western waters Your humble servant
was among the invited guests-and nice time
he had Of it
found myself on board of this beautiful
craft, in close communion with score Of nn-
questionable beauties The company proved
TO be n Heterogeneous congomeration OF char
acter. made np of editors, lawyers, and auction
GERS. indescribables and fanccs"-with
sprnkling of "nonsuches" There was stray
narson too. in the crowd but as his leisure
time "between meetings" was spent in trading
horses, we dispensed with his "grace before
meals"
We left our mooring an hour before sunset
upon q clear, cold afternoon, and passed rapid.
" down stream for a considerable distance
without any strange occurrence. The "son oil
temperance" and the parson aforesaid amused
themselves over smoking whisky toddy--the
"boys" were relieving each other Of their super
nuous dimes and quarters at euchre, when
tall gentleman, who was some when he was So
Der, stepped suddenly into the cabin with the
information that wcll-known fastboat' had
Just hove in sight at the mouth OF the Kentucky
river. The cards were dropped instanter, the
punches disappeared, and the ''mourners' were
soon distributed in knots npon the promenade
deck to note the progress OF events.
Our "bully boat sped away like bird how,
ever, and the craft behind us gave early eyl'
dence that she should offer no chld's play
The "fat was in the fire" at oncc-a large col
umn of black smoke curled up in the clear ut
mosphere-an extra turn or two was visible
upon our own boat, and away we went ! a
rood deal of excitement existed among the par
ty, as the rival steamer was clearly gaining OIL
u.s. A craft like ours, with such company
and such captain mustn't be beaten.
As the boat behind us fell in under our stern
and we could count her passengers, sort o
impression came over MS, that by some mistake
we had got upon the wrong boat AT leas
that was the expressed opinion of the parson
as he threatened to 60 down stairs and takc
another drink.
Our captain was n noble fcllow--hc paccC
the deck quietly, with a constant eye to TIN
windward, but said nothing. A bevy Of th'
mourners stepped pu to him with
"What speed, capn =
"Fair, gentlemen ! think it is very fair,
responded the captain, as he placed his hanC
upon small brass knob at the back of the pi
dollhouse. This movement was responded Il
by the faint .ingng of q bell below, FOLLOWED
Immediately by rush Of cinders from th'
smokepipes, and an improved action of the pad
dies.
"Now we move again"
"Some' was the response, and momentar,
trembling pcrvaded the boat as she slid alons
right smartly.
But the craft in onr rear moved like on
shadow on the calm waters, and as We sho
down the river it seemed as if we her in tow
so calmly and uniformly did she follow in on
wake.
The excitement Of the congregation upol
deck had by this time become intense and i
was pretty plain that the boats must shortly
part company or split something. The rasca
behind us took advantage of a turn in the chan
nel and "hem starboard' was clearly hearC
from the look out Of our rival, as she hove of
and suddenly fell alongside of us The par
son weut below at once to put his threat into
execution, as we came up the current again
meek and neck,' and when he returned were
running twenty-five knot lick, the steam be
ing smack on to forty-six degrees.
"She's going--going 60" muttered al
auctioneer to himself
"a perfect nonsuit," remarked a lawyer t'
his friend.
Beaten, but not vanquished," added pol
itcian; and away we scudded side by side fol
half mile
"Wondnt she bear little more ?" meekly
asked the parson
"She's doing very WELL replied the captain
"Don't get excited, gentlemen my boat is a
new one her reputation and mine are at stake