The weekly pioneer and Democrat. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. Territory) 1855-1865, 1858-01-14

Trsn1s o. . rat MAN.
The Buffalo Republic has fat CORES
pondent who writes that paper frankly
thus
As ! intimatel To you having come to
the conclusion thA, there was nothing fit to
eat in Buffalo, started Tor New York on
Friday last, on the Central Railroad had
no idea that man with respectable quan.
tity Of flesh. was looked upon with any de-
gree Of surprise outside Of your city limits.
/ only weigh iwo hundred and n.uty.oae
pounds, and il | am said to be as brosd Us
I AIN long, it certainly was no reason for the
ticket agent at the Buffalo depot inquiring
"do you w,sh 10 go us freight or as pas
<ngsr ?" told him with considerable as
perity " w. passenger, &c! ec,srse wirn ise
charged me for tickets for two and upon
my expostuating with him, he very impa.
IDENTIFY inquired il supposed il any one else
could sit in the same seat occupied BE-
ing aware that it WAS matter of some
doubt, said no more, but heard him mutter
something TO himself about hogs always go
ing a. freight, ~ walked oil, which remark
WAS made, presume, TO an omnibus driver.
standing near II certainly could have had
no reference 10 me. DO you think it couldl
got into the cars somewhat ruilled in
temper, and after crushing two or three
women from diameter oi about ten feet
into about six inches, and iiattenng out sn
apple boy and popcorn vendcr, NO that their
identity becomes u matter Of considerable
research. finally obtained u seat opposite
an old scraggy lady, and Ler unmarried
daughter. They screamed n sat down,
and | was tempted " expand my lungs in
the same manner, Tor the whole seat gave
way with me and deposited me with my
wig in pool Of tobacco juice, and my feet
in the bony, unmarried girls lap. Upon
extricating myself from the wreck, discov-
cred to my horror that had split the back
Of my coat, and utterly crushed out oi exls.
tence three bandboxcs and obtained the
eternal hate of the scraggy woman and her
bony daughter forever. tried 10 make my
apologies but think failed. My failure is
easily explained. for whoever heard Of any
man making decent apology in fractured
coat, aud head saturated with tobacco
then went into another cur. in c0nse-
quence Of the Indignation of the passengers
having been aroused by the two women
alluded TO, and especially NJ heard gen
tleman, with short hair and not very placid
face, inquiring il he hadn't better punch him.
Having no doubt that the him referred 10
meant me. ! made myself as seiiom ~ p'ssi-
Le, and GO, into the next car. The seats
in the car were all weak frnil things ns tour
OF them fell to piec's ns ! sat down on them.
Upon making my complaint to the condnc
tor--who asked u Uie,e rns more than one
Of me--hc suggested that ] hal better go
into the baggage ear and st on one oi the
express trunks. They beng iron bound, be
thought hsgd stand it, If nothing else
would did 60 IN there The baggage
man who was not very polit" asked me
what | wanted told him ! wanted to
stay IN there. he said il couldn't b did
a.. ii | came IN. he would have 10 go out
there wasn't room :" for them two trunks
aud both of ~ IN that there baggage car.
| accommodated matters with him by Civ
ing him dollar, lone Of twenty hal bor-
rowcd,l and he agreed 10 ride on the outside
OF the car. while ! occupied the inside. !
got upon two express trunks, and was very
fpUjpftdpis. iUbffi4 bbff '''H
perfectly 50, if the baggage man hadn' kept
annoying me. lie kept diving his head in.
to the car. and asking II was going To New
YORK, aud upon my replying that J was, be-
would convey ny reply To the brakeman,
who evidently had been taking Of me- all the
way from Rochester. Finally, the baggage
man dove hi head in again as il 10 end
soine argument. and asked ii J iDtfnded 10
90 TO Bsrnum Museum when | got 10
New York. | tod him ! should which
information be r,cenveyed 10 the brakeman.
who ejaculated, thought so--its him :"
] couldn't imagine what they meant
Thy cbuckle,i considerably and aid. "Seeb
him for uothin. Twoud cot two sbil- !
Inns 10 New York when abruptly put
an cod 10 thar conycrsatiop, by putting my
head ou, Of the car door, and inquiring who
wss him what "wouid cOst two shiiliDgs
10 New York. ard xhat they had ''seu for
nothing The brakeman va. somewhat
startled, bu, recovered sufficiently to say
Far Boz This answer anordlng me no
iniormaiion whatever, ! backed into the car
again much puzzled ~ 10 what they m'ant.
Dreaming tina, ! Va. beng brolled On Al
inmnse gridiron, for the parpoy Of trying
me ont, and that tbe fat was running from
rae IN innumrsble rivulets which ~as being
caught 10 little 'is cups. and sod by trades
men Of al dlscriptions, ] arrived 10 SyrAr
cg-e, and there awoke. delighted u find thA,
retained my sceastonrd fsxn. and tina,
gongs were sounding ecsts,ic announcements
Il dinner" ! will write you @,on again
Till thcn. osiieve me your much apDoyed
Far CDsrEIBtroE.
The citizens Of dialogue had good tine