The Kanzas news., 1858-12-04
The outlavs of Society.

There IS certain class OF prompt, ready
writer's, for lady reading. who flourish in
family papers, and are vastly popular in
this country. They affect the prompt, dash
ing. up to-snuff, no nonsense, and are great
ly given to urging as an ideal woman,
creature who would be very perfeei
housekeeper, very distrustful being, one
increduious of goodness or decency in men,
and very disagreeable person to keep com
pany with. In fact, we cannot find, among
several slap-dash articles of this affected
common sense cast which we have exam
ined, one which is not tinctured with rude
Vulgarlty, sneering, scheming spirit-full,
1t Is true, of fun, but to the last degree in
sensible to those better and more refined
influences which ought to constitute the
principle guides of a cultivated human mind.
| Marriage is the great subject on which
these writers dilate with the greatest spirit,
and greedy, selfish spirit it is. More than
one writer of eminence has doubted wheth-
er this continually urging on young girls
| the idea that the chief aim of life is to catch
husband is productive of good Effects
That the idea prevails is unquestionably
true. Are not the accomplishments Of the
best and most expensive schools-to speak
the plain, honorable truth-rather the nature
of bait for mouse trap, and is not the
bait in most cases utterly neglected after the
mouse is caught? Would it not be better
if young ladies were educated little more
for themselves, and little less, we do not
say for their husbands, but for their beaux ?
| In no country on the face Of the earth is
every young man reduced SO promptly and
| plainly to his stintentions" as in America.
| Does he, or does he not want to marry p
If not, let him right about face. Marriage
is the one sole idea, the great game, and let
those who are not in it get out of the way
Listen to what writer of the kind to which
we allude says
"Have nothing to do with those who have
no fixed intention. They are such as will
loll on your sofa, turn the leaves of your
music book, and fill your heads with moth
ingness, and at the same time monopolize
you for all your fancy dances, play waiter
behind your chair at supper, be your hum
bic servant at the theatres and concerts, and
serenade you through three years. campaign.
Whistle such danglers off. Cut them dead
after short trial, and begin afresh. If the
man does not come to the popping point
after seasons frolicking, he viii not do it
at all. He is not marrying man, and you
had better turn such over to young sisters or
nieces, just out of short dresses
All very common, sensible, bang up and
straight forward; but it is substituting ex-
treme cases to assume, as the above does,
that every man who does not come up to
the mark and propose at once, is mere
dangler. 1t is this rushing into marriage
on short acquaintance, which fills our courts
with divorce cases, and a certain class of
newspapers with spicy details.
It is very difficult to discuss this subject
as it should be treated. To merely dangle
after young lady is to do her great wrong.
But girl who does not know enough of
the character of the man paying his atten-
tions, to see what he is about and when to
dismiss him, is not shrewd enough to mar
~ at all. On the other hand, the treating
of every man as one either to be regarded
as a possible husband, or else to be hardly
spoken to, produces to American society eff
fects which astonish foreigners. Rich men
are continually surrounded by batteries,
whose bright jest once set the room in a
roar, can scarcely obtain recognition or more
than distant bows from bellies, the instant
the report is raised that they are engaged.
AS for the neglect of married ladies in So
ciety, it is a national reproach. 1t may be
said that many parties are in this country,
without exaggeration, SO far as all the gay
ity is concerned, as much marriage markets
as the slave bazaars of Constantinople.
It is all absurd, for men and women do
not lose intelligence, education or brilliancy,
by being betrothed or married, or should
they in consequence of it be debarred from
eongenial intercourse with their fellow be-
Tho fHok IL
alone, should be the only reason for as
sembling friends, is, to say the least, slight
| ly gross. Yet it has been in this country a
fact for years. and the result has been that
ignorant boys and undeveloped girls, in by
far too many circles, virtually rule society,
while the only topics ever discussed in such
circles are marriages and engagements, en-
gagements and marriages, ad infnituns.
The great remedy for it all will be a prop
er system of education one in which an
interest in matters which refine the heart
and the intellect will take The place of the
superficial accomplishments and beau catch
ing. We are happy to see that conviction
of the truth of this is beginning to gain
ground in the rising generation itself, and
effoi Is at rational seLfeducation are becom-
ing more frequent. The cases which we
have described of rude, headlong, greedy
grasping at attentions and of thinking,
and of dreaming of nothing else but how to
catch husband, are. it is true, in majority;
but there is powerful minority who are in
great degree exempt from it. just as there
are well bred REUNIONS, where the guest
passes for his intrinsic value, without re-
gard to his availability for husband
What we have said We are however con-
yinced, not without much foundation in
truth. and commend it to the candid consid-
Grafton of our readers.-Phl. Ballefia
at late session of the DesMoines Con-
ference of United Brethren, it was s'Re-