The Tiffin tribune. [volume] (Tiffin, Ohio) 1848-1859, 1858-03-05

The Charleston Nsus. Of a late date,
states that, rs Chang and Eng tho Sia.
nese twins were going to Charleston the
conductor Of Che cars made fuss becauss
they did not each have ticket The
gentlemen who had charge Of them said
that they had alwlys been carried on the
ticket Of single passenger. Tho con.
dnctor reptile that they we're two persons,
aud occupied two seats; they must, thore.
fore, pay for two passages. Very WE'LL
said The gontlem1n. 4 viii give Tie tick
et to Chang, and you can put Eng OF OF
the cars This brought the conductor
TO his senses AMI he knocked UNDER,
A sENsBtR Graf AT lato bali n
baltimore gen,lemSn (probably ono Of
the Goldfish aris,ooaoy) having danced
with young lady whose attractions, both
personal aud conversational, seem to have
male an impression on his sensibiiles,
asked 70 have the pleasure Of seeing her
on the following evening.
why, no sir, replied the fair ono, 4
shall be engaged on tomorrow evening,
but will tell you where you can SEQ me-
4 shall be most happy exclaimed the
swain
Well, on Saturday. resumed tho fair
aiy, you can see me nj The foot Of Marsh's
market, selling cabbag,os
IIARp on rHE FRArrRSrrY.-Durinr
the discussion IN the Virginia Senate Of
the proposition n purchase Mr.. Blrbea's
statue Of the Young Republican, Mr..
Stuart IN pronounoing q eulogy on the
artist, remarked that he quit,s1 the pro.
fession Of law TO pursue that Of art
Another Senator. DR.. McKeuney, Of
Norfolk intimated that change was natui-
al enough, since law as we'll sculpture
Is an art fol profession and both are pros
ecuiod by ohjseHiag.
DEFNrrioN or FAST MAN.-Durine
the libel suit Of Fry agl Bennett, four
years since, witness was asked, what
iS fast mani
II Is a technical term, and perhaps a
lit.e difficult to define, WAS tho reply.
bat | Insist upon reply said the
eounsel
'Well, said Sam. 'as near as am able
TO state IL, n fast man Is a man who has
more money than he has time 10 spend Il
in.'
Sam was permitted TO leave tho stand.
NuY OATS WASH ruEtR TAcEs.-A cat
cmght n sparrow. and was about 10 dc.
your u, but the sparrow said. NO gentle.
man eats till no has first washed his face
The cat, struck with this remark. set the
sparrow down, and began To wash his
lace with his paw, but lho sparrow flow
away. This veGed Puss extremely, and |
he said, AS long as live, will eat first.
and wash my face Afterwards Which |
all cats do, even to this day.
John, whal'sa bakery?'
"A place where they bake, sir
Whats brewery
"A plnoo whero thoy brew
What's a galoryp
I'll hi--a place whore there's gals
Par ALI OvER "A poor emaciated
lrishman, having called ir q physician as
aforlorn hopo. the latter spreil a hugo
mustard plaster and ohppol il on the
poor fellows brels'. Pat. with fearful
eye, looking down upon il. said. Doc
iher. doether, dear, it strikes me that its u
n dale Of mustar for so IiRiS mate
Billy; how did you lose your dngerY'
Easily enough said Billy. Il suppose =
YOU did, but howT Il guess you'd = lost
your'n, it It had been whore mine was. r
That doa'l answer my question: well Il
II you must know, said Billy, Il had TO
cut it oil, or else steal the trap
A gentleman in conversation with DR.. Sc
johnson. having TO some usuSl arguments
for drinking, added this: You know {
sir drinking drives away care, and makes
us forget whatever is disagreeable; would +
not you allow a man 60 drink for that p
reasonY Johnson replied. Yes, sir, If he :
tat next you.' h
Doctor kin you tell what's tho matter <
with my ohild's nose? She keeps pick.
IN OF IT, 'lcs, marm; It's probably an !
irritation OF che gasrtic mucuS membrane
communicating sympathetic Utilization a
20 the ophdium OF the echm rim.
There, now. that's just what | told >
Becky; but she lowed it was worrums.' 8
sAtUrATroEs,--If you arc gentleman Z
and meet q lady Of your Acquaintance in !
the street. Il Is her part to notice you first. .
unless indeed you are very intimate - :
The reason is, il you bow 70 lady 6rst.
ahe may not choose 10 acduwowlodce YOU. /,
and there is no remedy; but il she bows
TO you, you as gentleman cannot cat
ker, |,
An exchange tells Of man, whose
sister told him he had not long to live, /.
aud suggested thai he might not feel al
together prepared for that oyont. WHY
should DO afraid to die? he asked. j
never voted a Democratic ticket in my
life.'
A young slook.broker hayiog married
fat old widow with Glo0,Ol6, SAYS il
wasn't his wife's face that attracted him
90 much as the figure. |,
What difference is there between A
prince and peasant? No more than bo- !
tWeon two bricks made Of the sam, olav.
only one is placed upon a turret, and The
other at the bottom Of well.' D
The girl who is destined to be tbv !
wife, although unknown 10 thee, is sure /
10 be living somewhere or other