The Perrysburg journal. [volume] (Perrysburg, Ohio) 1853-1861, 1858-02-04
TRIMS Mn Err NInn.

The BYfdt0 Rspa6tic has lat correspon-
dent who writes that paper frankly thus;
"As intimated TO you, having come to
the conclusion that there was nothing ft to
eat in Buffalo, | started for New York on
Friday last, on the Central Railroad. bad
no idea that man with u respectable guam
tity Of flesh, was looked upon with any degree
Of surprise outside of your city limits. |
only weigh t,co hundred and Mify one pounds, |
and il am said to be rs broad as | am long, |
IL certainly was no reason Tor the ticket agent
at the Buffalo Depot inqulrn5 do you wtsh
20 90 as freight or as passenger :" told
him with considerable asp rity, "as pas
ssnger Of course" when he charged me for
tickets for two ! and upon my expostulating
with him he very impudently asked If suppos-
I'd any one else could sit in the same seat oc
cuped. Being aware that it wa matter oil
some doubt, 1 said no more, but heard him
mutter something to himself about hogs
always going as freight, as | walked OIL
which remark was made, presume, to an
omnibus driver, standing near. II certainly
could have had no reference W me. Do you
think ii could =?
"I got on the cars somewhat rufled in
temper, and after crushing two or three
women fiom diameter Of ten feet into about
six inches, and natning out an apple.boy and
popcorn vonder, 80 that their identity be-
came a matter of considerable research, fl
nally obtained seat opposite an old, scrag-
Nv lady and her unmarried daughter. They
screamed as | sat down, and 1 was tempted
to expand my lungs in the same manner, for
the whole seat gave way with me and deposl-
ted me with my wig in spool OF tobacco
Juice, and my feet in the bony, unmarried
girls lap. Upon extrca!ing myself from the
wreck, discovered to my horror that had
sp'it the back of my coat, had utterly crushed
out of existence three baudboxes; aud obtain
ed the eternal hate of the scraggy woman aud
her bony daughter for ever. tried to make
my apologies, but think | failed. My fail
ure is easy explained, for who ever heard Of
any man making decent apology in irac-
tured coat and head saturated with tobacco
juice ?
81 then went to another car, IN 60 nse-
quence of the indignation Of the passengers
having been aroused by the two women allu-
dcd to, and especially as | heard gen
teman with short hair and not very placid face
inquring if he hadn't better punch him.
Having no doubt that the him referred to me,
made myself as seldom as possible, and g1t
into the next car. The seats in the car were
all weak, frail things, es four of them fell to
pieces as sat down on them. Upon making
my complaint to the conductor-who asked j
there pas more than one Of me he suggested
that had better go into the baggage car, and
sit on one of the express trunks. They being
iron-bound. he thought Mey'd stand if any
thing would. | did go in there. The bag
gage-man, who was not very polite, asked me
what wanted. told him / wanted to stay
in there. lie said it couldn't be did AS, if |
came in, he would have togo out; there wasn't
room for them " two trunks and both of as
in that there baggage-car," accommod'-
ted mrtters with him by giving him dollar
Zone of twenty l had borrowed), aud he
agreed to ride on the outside of the car, while
occupied the inside. | got upon two ex-
press trunks and was very comfortable. In
deed, should have been perfectly 50 ii the
baggage man hadn't kept annoying me. lie
kept diving kis head into the car, and asking
il was going to New York and upon my re-
plying that | was, he would convey my ro-
ply to the brakeman, who evidently had been
talking of me all Tie way from Rochester,
Finally, the baggage.man dove his head in
again. as if to end some argument, and asked
il ] intended TO go to Barnum's Museum,
when | got to New. Iork l told him |
should which Information he reconveyed to
the brakeman, who calculated,
Thought so-it's him y
"I couldn't imagine what they meant
They chuckled considerably, and said seen
him for nothin.' 'rwould a cost two shillins
in New-York'-when abruptly put an end
to their conversation by putting my head out
of the car door, aud inquiring who was him
and what would cost two shilllng5 in New
York and what they had seen for nothing.
The brakeman was somewhat startled. but
recovered sufficiently to say FAT Boy
This answer atlording me no information
whatever, | backed into the car again, much
puzzled as to what they meant Dreaming
that was being boiled On an immense grid
iron, for the purpose of frying me out, and
that the fat was running from ne in inuume'
rable riyulets, which was being caught in liz
lie tin cups, and sold by tradesmen OF all des-
Grip ions, arrived in Syracuse, aud there
awoke delighted to fad that | retsined my
accustomed flesh, and that gongs were soun'
ding ecstatic announcements of dinner. =
l will write younagain soon. Till then, be
leve me yoAr much annoyed
"FAT CON rRlBU TOR"
~. .u..U