Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1858-09-07
HOOPS, A. ID. 17O9-lsJ9.

which had the honor OF a greater rotundity in
the days OF burly DIR. johnson than il has vet
attained shall we therefore expect the expan-
sion to 90 until it shall reach the expansion of
ticenty-fonr fee? for, surely, this generation
must not be outdone by the days of Old,' Let
us lay before our lady readers what was record
ed by Addison, in the Tattler, No. 116, A. d.
lIO9, OF the arrainment and trial Of one species
OF the genus skirt, before the bar of public
opinion:
Pars mnima est ipsa puella sui-Orid
The young lady is the least part Of herself.
The court being prepared for proceeding on
the case of the petticoat, gave orders to bring
IN criminal. Word was brought me that she
had endeayOred twice or thrice to come in, but
could not do it by reason of her petticoat, which
was too large for the entrance of my house
though had ordered both the folding doors to
be thrown open for its reception. had before
given directions for an engine of several legs,
that could contrast or open ITSELF like the top of
an umbrella, in order to place the petticoat up
on 1t, by which means might take n leisurely
survey Of il, as il should appear in its proper
dimensions. This was done accordingly, and
forthwith, upon the closing of the engine, the
peUlcoat was brought into court. / then direct
ed the machine TO be set upon the table, and di-
Iated In SUCH a amanner as to show the garment
IN its utmost circumference; but my great hall
was too narrow for the experiment; for before il
was half unfolded, it described so immoderate
circle that the lower part Of il brushed upon
my face as sat in my chair Of judicature 1
tnen inquired for the person that belonged to
the pettcoat, and, to my great surprise, was
directed to a very beautiful young damsel, with
30 pretty face and shape that bid her come
out OF the crowd, and seated her upon a little
crock at my left hand. my pretty maid, !" said
Il, "do you own yourself to have been the inhabi-
tant OF the garment before us?' Ifound the girl
mad good sense See told me with a smile, that
Notwithstanding it was her own petticoat, she
would be very glad to see an example made of
1t; and that she wore ii for no other reason
but that she had a mind TO look as big and
ourly as any other one person of her quality ;
that she had kept out of it as long as she could
aud until she began to grow little in the ewes
of her acqualntances, that if she laid it aside
people would think she was not made like other
women L always gave great allowance to the
lar sex upon the account Of the fashion and
therefore was not displeased with the defence
OF my pretty criminal. / then ordered the
vest which stood before US to be drawn up by a
pulley TO the top OF my great hall, and after
wards to be spread open by the engine it was
placed upon, In such q manner that it formed
very splendid and ample canopy over our
heads, and covered the whole court of judica-
ture with kind Of silken rotunda, in its form
not unlike the cupola of st. Paurs. entered
upon the whole cause with great satisfaction as
sat under the shadow of it.
The counsel for the petticoat was then
called In, and ordered to produce what they
had to say against the popular cry which was
raised against ii. They answered the obiec-
tons with great strength and solidity of argu-
ment, and expatiated in very forid harangues
which they did not fail to set of and fur bsiOpr
II L may be allowed the metaphor, with many
periodical sentences and turns Of oratory The
chief argument for their clients was taken.
hrst, from the great benefit that might arise to
our woollen mandatory from this invention,
which was calculated as follows:
The common petticoat has not above four
yards In circumference, whereas this over our
neads had more In the semi-diameter; so that
oy allowing 1t twenty-four yards in the circum-
ference, the five millions of woollen pettcoats
(supPosins, what ought to b. supposing in a
well governed state, that all peItieoaIs are
made of that stuff would amount to thirty
millions Of those of that ancient mode pro-
digious improvement in the woollen trade
And that could not fail to sink the power of
France in a few years
To introduce the second argument, they
begged leave to read petition of the rope
makers, wherein 1t was represented, " that the
demand Tor cords, and the price of them was
much risen since that fashion came up.n AT
TINS, all the company who were present, lifted
up their eyes to the vault, and must confess
we did discover many traces of cordage, which
were lnterwoyen in the stiffening of the drape-
ry.
was IOQ0QeQ UPON the
uuon OF the Greenland trade, which likewise
represented the great consumption of whale
bone which would be OccasiOned by the present
fashion, and the benefit which would thereby
accrue 10 that branch of the British trade.
Ihese arguments would have wrought very
mucn upon me, as l then told the company in
loud and elaborate discourse had not con-
adered the great and additional expenses
which such fashions would bring upon fathers
and husbands, and, therefore, by no means TO
De thought OF until some years after peace. /
further urged that it would prejudice the ladies
on the petticoat
For which, and sundry other reasons, pro-
nounced the Petticoat q forfeiture; but TO show
that did not make that Judgment for the
sake OF hlthy lucre, L ordered il to be folded
up and sent 1t as present to a widow gentle
woman, who has five daughters, desiring she
would make each of them a pettcOat ont of il
and send me back the remainder, which de-
sign 10 cut into stOmaehers, caps, facings Of
my WalstcOat sleeves and other garnitures
suitable to my age ani quality
Woald not be understood, that, while dis
caro- the monstrous invention, am an enemy
70 the proper ornaments of the fair sex. Oo
the contrary, as the hand Of nature has poured
on them such profusion of charms and graces,
aad sent them into the world more aIniable
ana hnlShed than the rest of her works: so
would have them bestow upon themselves all
the additional beauties that art can supply
them with, provided they do not interfere with.
disguise, or prevent those Of nature
consider woman ss a beautiful romantic
animal, that may be adorned with furs and
feathers, pearls and diamonds, ores and silks
Inc lynx shall cast its skin at her feet to make
her nppet; the peacock, parrot and swan
snaii pay contributions to her muff the sea
snail De searched for shells, and the rocks for
gems; and every part Of nature furnish out its
share towards the establishment of A creature
toat Is tne most eonsumate work of IT, All this
shall indulge them in; but as for tie petticoat
4 hGrs BEEN sPeaktng of, / neither can nor
Had one OF our modern bellies plead that de-
fence, another verdict might have been the
result She would have talked so beautifully
oi 'ne nestn 1t brought by its lightness, and
the relief il afforded from heavy skirts 40
necessary to increase the vulgar proportions of
the natural woman. She would have adyerted
win PRIDE to toe fact, that the fashion made
maids lsok like matronsl She would have
discoursed decidedly upon the na.ass;,v Co. a