Spirit of the age. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1849-1865, 1858-04-14

Ihat TO De dreadeO neeQ only 10 De seen. -.
RANSOM. "l
A lady, paying q visit to her daughter ~
who was a young widow, asked her why ~
she wore the widows garb so long Deer
mamma, don't you see ? replied the daugh-
ter it saves me the expense of adverti- I
sing for a husband, as every one can see ny
l am for sale by private contract ".
MUTUAL DIsausT.-'I have brought
you this bill until Pm sick and tired of it.
said a collector of a debtor, upon whom he
had called at least forty times.
FYou are eh ! coolly replied the debtor.
YES | am was the response.
well, then you had better not present
it again. There will be two of us pleased
if you do not ; for to tell the truth, Pm tt
red and sick of seeing that indentical bill
myself
INGoRRIGIBLE.-FYoung man, do you
believe in a future State ?
'In course l does, and what's more, ] in
tend to enter it as soon as Betsy gets her
wedding things ready
you mistake me. Do you believe in a
future state of rewards and punishments |?
Most assuredly. If | should cut mugs
at q read headed woman, / should expect
my hat indented by the first cistern pole
she could lay her hands on
GO to, young man you are incorrigible.
;. Go to-
GO two? If it wasn't for that law agin
bigamy, darned if l wouldn't go a dozen.
But who supposed, Deacon, that a man of
your years would give such advice to a per-
son just starting in life ?
This rather took the deacon down.
Whether the conversation was renewed will
not be known till oar express arrives.
You fatter me- said an exquisite the
other day, to a young lady, who was prais-
ing the beauties of his moustache. For
heavens sake, ma'am,' interposed a Hoo
sier, don't make him any fatter than he
is now
A verdaut looking specimen of a school
teacher was asked, not long since, the rea,
son why the needle of the compass invari
ably pointed toward the north, and assign.
ed as his reason that the North Pole wa:
made oflodestone which attracted the steel
y Sharp one, that.
TPie or pudding, SIR said a waiter t.
one Of the innumerable guest at a hotel
during the spring season. what kind o
pie have you
'Rhubarb,' said the waiter, as he starte'
for a plate.
Hold on said the stranger as he ros
from the table, never mind it. I Away
take my medicine in the morning!
YANKEE CoURTsHIP.--A love lorn swat
broke a Wish-bone with his Eheart's queen
somewhere in New Hampshire.
'en Meow what do you wish, Sally p demal
;sb ded Jonathan, with a tender grin of expe
tation.
Il wish I was hansum,' replied the ia
damsel, 'hansum as Queen Victory
ed, Jerusalem what a wish |! replied 10
athan, when you're hamsum huff neo,
=. But I'll tell yer what [ wished, Sally;
inc wished you were locked up in my arr
and the key was lost?
J. A CHANGE ANTIcIpATED.-A YOU
lady in a class studying physiology, in t
High School at Sandusky, made answer
teep a question put, that in six years a hum
body became entirely changed, so that 4
a particle which was in itat the common,
ment of the period would remain at t
close of it. Then, Miss L., said the you
gentleman tutor, 'in six years you will ce,
to be miss L. why, yes, sir, l supp,
= So said she very modestly looking at
floor.
An old topper, who lately attended an
hibition whore a learned professor eau
several explosions to take place among 6
ses produced from water, said, you dc
catch me putting much water in my lq
&C. after this | had no idea that water wa
dangerous, though l never take mucl
e. it.
feet I'VE have ever found says a Ameri
!, tho paper, that blacksmiths are, more or |
given to Uice. Carpenters, for the n
,efore part, speak planely, but they will eli
10 when they can get a chance. Not un
quently they are boYes, and often annoy
each with their old saWs.'
lus to A man famous hunting up enigmas
losophized thus: What strange Great
We be- girls are. Offer one of them good w
ltions to work for you, and ten chances to OF
J** the old woman can spare any other 9
but just propose matrimony, and see if
don't jump at the chance of working a
age time for their ~victuals and clothes.
Of queer way of estimating things.
they AHA \ y Mrs.. -con,rovo rooto,.
oaying invented in 1903, Sy Sir William Conc
On q certain occasion, when visiting Y
e land minister Abbey, in company with the la
le 9TH his attention was directed by one of the
tY to the inscription on the great comp
portion Purcells monument: : He has gone to
y NA'e "Thers, Sir William" said tho young
[" substitute fireworks for music, and thu
'itaph will answer for yourself"