The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1858-07-29
VAR RIETY.

was Dean Swift who proposed, as the eleventh
naudment-' Mind your own business
sron once said, 81 am convinced men do more
} 70 themselves than even the devil could do
J."
BE Sunday -4flGs, in fit of revolutionary enthu-
b, says Hurrah for the girls of 1928 Thun-
cries New Jersey paper, that's too darned
No, no; hurrah for the girls of II -
sluibbs'' - wants to know if doctors, by look
the tongue of n wagon, tell what ails it
fchGHge-
scns who are not doctors can often tell, by
6ng TO a waggin' tongue, what ails its owner.
risrille Journal.
John Smith has discontinued eating crabs, as
l eaten them so long that everything he under
ent backward. He had brother who dug a
Il he found he was getting down in the world,
ne gave up the business and turned lamp
He then looked up u little.
gentleman, observing a servant girl, who was
bndei, placing the knives and forks on the din
|ble in the same awkward position, remarked to
ha; she was laying them left handed, ''0h,
II - said sac, $50 have Be plased, sir, to
PIE turn the table round 80
kenus from the land of wooden nutmees SAYS he
nsented machine which will, when set in
OLbut that's the difficulty-chase a hog over
Ere 'ot, catch, yoke, and ring him, or by,a slight
b Of gearing, chop him into sausages, work his
eOrkscrcw-
Lemon and Mr.. Ebenezer Sweet; VII hereupon our
nuoralizes As follows:
%Hos happily extremes do meet
In Jane and Ei'enezer;
She's no longer sour. but sweet,
And he's Lemon sIueezer.' -
hab always m my life,'' says Caesar Hannibal
hd the gals to be de fust in lub ftIst in a quar-
,sri do. IL
st best aud de last hest in de 81 TX room What
we poor fellers do without dem, Let us be
rs young, as u=ly, and as helpless rs we please
soman am ready TO receivesus; she IL am who
|close upon our helpless, naked limbs, and cub
|up our footses and toeses in long flannel petit
and il am she who, rs we grow up, fills our din
basket wild dough nuts and apples rs we start to
u, and fcks Us when tear our trowsers''
b 50 BAD.-The Albany TrGnscriot. which has
loolmaster among its editors, is responsible for
bllowing:
J principal of one of our select schools has been
ng circulars to the parents of the pupils, which
and returned, will authorize him to infiict
enlistment, corporeally or otherwise, as may in
dgment be proper. The following answer
that SOME OF the parents pleased with the
bar Mr. Rattan-Your fogging cirklar is DULY
VI. | hope as to my John you will fog him
otin as you kin. Heas bad boys John.
We Dln IN haDft or teachin MIN misetf. II
10 me he will new II larn anithing-his spellin
ageously defshment Wallup him well, ser,
bu will receive my thanks.
What accounts for John being sich a poor
; is that he is my sun by my wife's fust hus-
is puzzle or riddle, which some of our
, may like to bother their heads about:
marble wall, as white as milk
.ined with skin soft silk
girhfn a crystal fountain clear,
y golden apple doth appear:
70 bolts bars 10 this strong hold.
Yet thieves break through and steal the gold.
sKEE DOODLE WITH VAnIAfToSs-vieux temps
site execution Of Yankee Doodle has been often
ell described, but never better than by one
x,'' droll MobiIian. Give an ear to ssBorax.''
IS difficult to conceive how this slender mel
puld have been arrayed in such an ample garb
tndor. Ingenuity must have been exhausted in
hg the variations performed by this king of vio-
He played il low down and then high up to
string-with all four parts at once-with the
p against the bridge-without any bow at all,
yed II backwards and forwards, and I~belisve
ys and crossways-began at the end and left
the beginning; began at the middle and left
Doth ends; then commenced at both ends and fin
In the middle; twanged it like guitar, growled
a oass-viol, "a base violation of the time, auoth
ighoor,) squeaked il ike fife, warbled it like
o IL was Yankee Doodle all the time how
sometlmes solus, like a boy whistline, anon as
IKE pair Of harmonious cats then again
the variations, all of which displayed and set
original air, as a multifudinous arrav Of
auorns and enhances the beauty Of the fair