The Tiffin tribune. [volume] (Tiffin, Ohio) 1848-1859, 1858-10-15
NO2
HARP SERMON.

| now appear here TO expouod the scrip
tors and pint out the narrer way which
leads from vain world to the streets of
tho new Juroosolum, aud my text which
! shall choose for the occasion is in the
leds Of the bible, somewhere between The
second Chronic Ills aud toe last chapter of
Timothy Titus, and when you find Il YOU
will 6nd it in these wordsi
"And they shall gnaw Gle and dee un.
to the mountains Of ltepsidam; where the
Lion roaroth, and the wang.doodle mourn
eth for its frsl born"
Now, my breethoFing, as I have before
told you, l am an uneddicated man, and
know nothing about grammor talk and
oollidgo highfalootin, but I'm plain un-
hrut preacher Of the Gospil what's been
foreordained, and called to expound the
soripters to a dyin world, and prepar
perverso generation for the day OF wrath:
for "they shall gnaw a filc, aud Zee unto
the mountains OF dopzidam, where the
Lion rosreth and the ug-doodla mourn
eth for its frst born."
My beluY-ed breothriug. the text saya
they shall knaw a Clio. 1t don't say may,
but they shall. Aud now ther's more'n
one kind Of Clio:
There 10 the hand.saw Gle, rat tail Gle,
single file, double filo aud profile But
the kind Of ile spoken Of here ism t one Of
them kind neither; because It's ilgVer Of
speech, my breethering, and means goiu'
it alone and gettin uttered; for "thoy shall
Ignaw At a Gle, aud Goo unto the moan
tains Of Hepzidam, where The Lion roar
eth and the wang-doodle mournoth for ils
6rst born" ..
| And now thar be some here with fno
close on thar backs, brass rings on thar
fingers aad lard on thar har wha, goes It
while they 70 young; and thar be brothers
here what, as long as thar constitution
aud forty cent whiskey last goes il blind;
and thar be sisters here what, when they
get about sixteen years old, cut thar tiller
ropes and goes i: With q rush; but say,
my dear br5ethoring, take care you doRt
find when Gabriel plays his last trump,
that you've all went IL alone and got uker-
cd; for "they shall gnaw file and fee
unto the mountains Of Hepzidam, where
the Lion roaTe.h, and the wang-doodle
mourneth for ito FIRST born"
And my breethering thar's more dams
5 besides Hepzidam. Thar's Rotterdam
. Haddam, Hamsterdam. mill dam, and
ldon't t.oare-a. dau-the last Of which, my
: dear hrooihering Is the worst Of all, aud
3 reminds mo Of circumstance l ono,
5 knew in the State Of Heuoy. There WA
= a man what built mill on the east eJrl
Of Agur creek, and it was q good mill and
ground a sight Of grain, but the mar
what built il was miserable sinner, and
D never civ anything to the church; and my
? Ibreethering, one night thar came a dread
4 full storm Of wind ard rain, and the fouu
tains o. the great deep was broken up ant
The waters rushed down and swept tha
i mans mill'dam into kingdom come, AM
l. 10 and behold ia the morning when he 70
j. up he found be was not worth a DAM
Now, my young breethering when storm
Of temptation overtake 20, take care you
don't fall from grace aud become like tha
mans mill not worth a dam; for "thsy
shall gnaw a file, and Gee unto the noun
F. tain OF Hepsidam, whar the Lion roaretl
and the wang-doodle mourneth for ii
, FIRST born"
"Whar the Lion roaroth and the wang
0 doodle mourneth for It's first born" Thi
= part of the text my breethering, is anoth
= or fgger speech aud isn't to be taken al
it says. II doesn't mean the howlin' viii
derness, where John the hard shell Bap
= list was fed on locusts aud wild lasses
Q but it means my breethering, the city o
e New Yorleans, the mother of harlots and
/. hard lots-whar corn's wuth six bits
. bushel one day and nary red the next
' whar niggers are as thick as black bugs il
spoiled bacon ham, and gamblers
Q thieves and piok-pookets go skitting abou
d the streets like Weasels in q barnyard-
whar they have cream colored horses, Oil
ded carriages, marble saloons with bran
dy and sugar in 'em --Whar honest moi
are scarcer than hens teeth, and a strang
y woman once tux in your beuv-ed preach
y or and bamboozled him out of two hun
q dred aud twenty seven dollars in tn
twinklin of a sleeps tail; but sho cap
. do il agin, Hallelujal "for they shall gnav
10 a file and flee unto the mountain Of Hep
IS zidGm, whar the Lion roareth and tn
i. wang doodle mOurneth for It's 6rst born
~, Ny bFeethering, am captain of tn
. aatboat you see tied up thar, and I've g
aboard Of her -four, bacon and oats an
potatoes and apples, and as good Mong'
belly whisky as you ever drank; aud III
" mighty apt TO git big price for il all
% But what, oh my breetheFing, would
10 all be wuth to mo If hadn't roldgiu?-
" Theirs nuthin like relidgin. my breethe
as ing. Ics better nor silver or gold ar
le gimeraoks, and you can no more git
le heaven without il than a iaybiid can q
~ without tail. Thank the Lord am
a. uneddioatFd man, my breelheriug, b
T. I've sea- ched the scripters from Dan
Burshc5Oee and found old Zion right 81,
= up, aud the hard she'll relidgns is the be
70 Of all relidgins. And it's not like Il
70 Methodists what expects to get into hea
~ on by hollerin like fury, not the univer
~ alists what gets upon the broad gage Al
- goes the whole hog, not the united breet
rem what takes each other BY the seats
~ their trowsers and tries to liA theirsoly
- into heaven, nor the Catholicks what bu
through tickets fFum their preests
but il may be liked my brsethreu IN
man what bad 10 orosss river, a
10 Whan ha pOt thar the ferry boat WAS QOf