Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1858-04-22

ct this state, but was born East somewhere,
the precise place not being exactly known;
vet like Homer, Bill is claimed as hav-
ing been born in several towns and cit
les.
The CurmudSeons are closely related to
him on the mothers side, and it is said by
Bltner, who has taken some of their types,
that there is. a striking family resemblance
between them and the Croakers. Bill has
lived almost everywhere. and never yet
found the place that. in his estimation, was
anything like what it ought to be. 1t was
either too fast or too slow, too lively or too
aull. too new Or too old, too far West or not
Tar enough; each place having failed to
AVAIL itself Of that fortunate medium, ''nei-
thsr too much nor too little to suit him.
The old nurse AYERS, that Bills 'natral
bent showed itself as he saw the light,
that he was very much dissatisfied with
himself, and everybody else before he was
an hour cid.
Thisdistingnished trait WAS by no means
restrained or curbed by his mother, (who.
twill be remembered. was aCurmudgeon,
but rather encouraged es evidence, that he
was the legitimate child of both families.
Through boyhood's probation he display
Ell an ardent passion for fault finding,
which was somewhat cooled, but not
quenchei. on certain occasions. by severe
attacks of henorrhage from the nose.
brought on through violent collisions with
boys of his own age.
Nothing was right in nature for Croak-
er, and his careworn face indicated his own
inability to change it. lie grew up like a
mullen stock. without any raising, and, rs
he had numerous relations who inherited
the same disposition. to grumble, the
Humane Society, for sending vagabonds
West shipped him, thinking to share with
Is the benefit of the Croakers and their pc
culiarities. This sketch Of his biography
must suffice
As we said. he was in town yesterday,
looking anxiously about him, for an atten-
tive nearer, to whom he could pour ont his
complaints. We dodge,i him as he enter
ed the door Of our Office but not In
time to escape hearing him below out. see
here, your paper is not worth ID"
bang went the door behind u.s. Making
his exit, he met NJ. from the country, a
in the Railroad; and, seizing hia by the
button, Crsaker began, you're ruined
man: road will never be built; the
script's all swindle; all set of rascals;
might have had road if they'd taken my
advice; Western stocks are humbug;
take advice ami go somewhere; the West
is great bubble. and will blow you up"
Poor 81. plead hurry, and was released.
Bill next brougt up ct Chapman and IT.
vines store. Here getting F. in tow his
vitals were poured out upon the merchants
without mercy: "All without exceptions,
cheats and robbers; clerks are knaves.--
Damaged goods bought at auction. Could
buy goods fifty per cent. less, East. Don't
pay half what butter and eggs are worth;
ought to break up; cause of all the hard
times" etc., etc. (F was relieved from
this delightful TRADE. by entrance of Gus
toner to whom he was very attentive. }
Croaker wished to consult lawyer and
was directed to the court house, where he
found Mr.. p Had business .or a lawyer, If
he could find an honest one, bat they were
scarce az hair on an elephant. He would
state his case 1t was how to avoid pay
pretty safe as he had given chattlc mort
gage to his cousin, Chisel Curmudgeon
On his entire property. even down to his
four dogs; but in the case there might be
flaw, he would give an honest lawyer
handing Mr.. Z. smooth quarter that
amount to examine into it Mr.. p. was
employed on the other side. and was very
sorry he could not accept the fee, but
thought squire NJ. would be tempted by his
liberal offer, to take the case Bill left
the Office, with a malediction on profession
oil men in general and lawyers in particular
but bethinkiDg himself of his darling boy,
Caleb Curnuigeon Croaker. who he said
was always complaining Of bad cold in
the head; he made bee line to DR.. Els
Office. and without changing compliments
saluted the DIR. with, 'that medicine You
gave Caleb. made him worse. great
deal worse He SHORES great deal loud
err. and in the morning can hardly wake up.
threw the balance of your medicine into
the fire. Doctors don't know anything
out West here. Old Mandrake, our fam
ily physician, East, could have cured him
in an hour. Mover saw the like, kill one
half and cripple the other. Oh dearl-
Ought to be sued for damages; but if you
can help Caleb. let's have some stuff"
He received package from the kind Dr..
with directions. and as his shadow disap-
peAred from the Dr's he shouted back,
charge it,
Bill heard there were attractions in town
and concluded to either attend meeting OF
the Thsspian entertainment but for q long
time could not decide which After tnrn-
ing the smooth quarter over and over. m
Ill the cross was nearly obliterated his
preference determined him to attend meet.
ing. Taking a conspicuous seat. where
he was the observed of all observers, he
might easily have been taken for church
member. from the murmur of his lips
which sounded like amen, had he not Civ
en- unmistakable evidence to the contrary
by . disagreeable witch of the head when
ever the minister concluded an argu
Inent.
In vain did the preacher look Croakel
in tho eye, and eloquently expatiate on ths
portion which awaited the unbelievers, and