Meigs County telegraph. [volume] (Pomeroy [Ohio]) 1848-1859, 1858-03-02

consisting OF IltJle proceSSlon' Ol ioui
tchops and four kidneys following each
Other, supported on either side by a pot of
the real draught stout, and attended by
divers cushions Of bread and wedges 81 q
tcheese. =,
I'diWhen The cloth was removed, 4 Mr..
Thomas Potter ordered the waiter to bring
in two goes .of his best Scotch whisky
with warm water and sugar, and couple
of his "very mildest" Havanas, which the
waiter did.%i Nff. Thomas Potter mixed
his gfog, and lit his cigar; Mr.. Robert
Smithers did the same; and then Mr..
Thomas Potter jocplarly proposed as the
| first toast, ''the abolition of all Offices
| wbatever'F (not sinecures; but counting
ithohses, which was Immediately drank Iy
MrA Robert Smithers, with enthusiastic APP
plause. So they went on, talking politics,
putting cigars, and supping whisky-and-
water, till the :goes"-most appropriately
50 called-were both gone, which MI.
Robert Smithers perceiying, Immediately
ordered in two more goes of the best Scotch
whisky, AMI two, more of the very mildest
Havanas; and the goes kept coming in,
and the mild Havanas kept going, out, un-
til, what with the drinking and lighting,
and putting, and the stale ashes on the ia
BILE, and the tallow grease on the cigars,
Mr.. Robert Smithers began to doubt the
mildness of the Havanas, and to feel very
much as if he had been sitting in hack
ey-coach, with his back to the horses.
|, AS to Mr.. Thomas Potter, he would
keep laughing out loud, and volunteering
| inarticulate declarations that he was call
right in proof Of which. he ,feebly be-
spoke the evening paper after the next
gentleman but finding ii matter of some
difficulty to discover any news in its col
umns, or TO ascertain distinctly whether it
had any columns at all, he walked slowly
out to look at the moon, aud after coming
back, quite pale with looking up at the
sky so. long, and attempting to express
mirth. at Mr.. Robert Smithers having fall
en- asleep, by various galvanic chuckles,
he laid his head on his arm and went to
sleep also. When he woke again, Mr.
Robert Smthers woke, and they both very
gravely agreed that it was extremely un-
wise to eat SO many picked walnuts with
the chops, as it was a notorious fact that
they always made people feel queer and
sleepy; indeed, if it had not been for the
whisky and cigars, there was no knowing
what harm they mightn't. have done 'em.
So they took some coffee, and after paying
the bill, twelve-and- two: pence for the
dinner and the odd ten-pence for the wafter
thirteen shillIngs in all-started out on
their expedition to manufacture a night.
r. It was Just haif-past eight,s.s SO they,
thought they could not do better than go
half-price to the slips at tie City Theatre,
which they did accordingly. Mr.. Robert
Smthers, who had become extremely po-
etical after the settlement of the bill, en-
! livening the walk by informing Mr..
Thomas Potter in, confidence that he felt
an inward presentiment of approaching
dissolution, and subsequently embellish-
ing the theatre, by falling asleep, with his
head and both arms gracefully dropping
over the front of the boxes. r
Such was the quiet demeanor of the
unassuming Smithers, and such were the
happy effects of Scotch whisky and Ha-
vanas on that interesting person; but Mr.
Thomas Potter, w hose great aim it was
to be considered rs knowing card" q
"fast goer'' and so forth, conducted him
self in a very different manner, and com
menced going very fast ndeed-rat too
fast at last, for the patience of the audi
ence to keep pace with him. On his first
entry, he contented himself by earnestly
calling upon the gentlemen in the gallery
to Glare up" accompanying the demand
with another request expressive ofhis wish
that they would 'instan taneously "form a
union" both of which acquisitions were
responded to in the manner most in vogue
on such occasions.
"Give that dog bone !" cried one
gentleman in his shirt sleeves. .-.l....
"Where have you been having half a
pint of intermediate beer" cried a second
"Tailorn'. screamed third. Barber S
clerkp' shouted a fourth. "Throw him
o-ver!'' roared, fifth; while numerous
voices concurred in desiring Mr.. Thomas
Potter to return 10 the arms of his mater
nal parent, or in common parlance to ego
home to his mother!' All these taunts
Mr.. Thomas Potter received with supreme
contempt, cooking the low crowned hat a
little more on one side whenever any refer
ence was made to his personal appearance,
and, standing up with his arms a-kimbo,
expressing dehance most melo-dramatlc-
ally i.. .-tys . a-.-.as.r
The overture-to which these various
sounds had been an al Hbitun accompa-
niment-concluded the second piece be-
gan, and Mr. Thomas Potter, emboldened
by impunity, proceeded to behave in a
most unprecedented and outrageous man
ner. First of all, he initiated the shake
of the principal female singer; then
groaned at the blue fire, then affected to
be frightened into conyulsions of terror at
the ghost; and lastly, not only made a
running commentary in an audible voice,
upon the dialogue upon the stage, but ac-
tually awoke Mr.. Robert Smithers, who,
hearing his companion making a noise,
and having very indistinct notion of
!. where he was, or what was required of
him, Immediately, by way of initiating a
; Egood example, set up the most'unearthly,
and bOwlipft III