Muscatine weekly journal. [volume] (Muscatine, Iowa) 185?-1890, 1858-01-09
HumOnoUs.


Oy'The following embraces . very az.
quisite lesson on gentility:-
A gentleman from Boston chanced to End
himself among little party Of ladies away
down East last summer, and while In the en-.
joyment of some innocent socisl Jplay, he
carelessly placed his arm about tho slender
waist If as pretty damsel a. Maine can
boast of, when she started and exclaimed.
s'Be done, sir! Don't insult mel"
The gentleman instantly apologizsd for
the seeming rudeness, and assured the half.
offended fair one that he did not intend to
insult her.
"No2"eshe answered archly. "Wsn II
you didn't yos may do 40 again"
A KENTUCKY ANRcDo7e.-A Southern eea.
tleman owned slave, very intejlieent
fellow, who was Universalist. On one
occasion he illustrated the intellectual char
acter Of his. religion in the following man.
ner: A certain slave had obtained license
of the Baptists to preach. He was holding
forth in the presence of many of his color.
ed brethren, at one time, when he undertook
to describe the process of Adams creation.
Said he, t'When God make Adam, he stoop
dowI, scrape up little dirt, wet it little.
warm it in he hands, and squeeze 1t in de-
right shape, and den lean it up aginst the
fence to dry"
Top dere ~ said our Universali.t darksy.
"You say dat are de fustus man eber ma,lsi"
"Sartin!" said the preacher. sw
"Den," said the other, "jest tell fsller
sohar dat ar fence come from!"
"Hush," said the preacher. ssTwo more
questisIs like dat would spile al dc feology
in dc world!"
THRIILINa.-Night is upon the earth.--
Darkness is in the valley and upon the hill.
top.
But the moon, rising and clearing away
the clouds, dispels the gloom. As she rolls
upwards the stars gather around her. Come
with me and look upon a scene OF intensely
exciting interest.
Enter that chamber softly--it is the sane.
tuary of innocence-the abode of love and
peace. Bending beside table behold a
blooming maiden-lovely girl of seventeen
-oa her knees. Her cherry lips move, her
graceful form is anxiously swaying to and
fro. She is laboring under an excitement.
The cool air gushes in upon her through
the lattice She is strengthened-coul we
view more interesting picturea
"Ahp
Was that word or long dra wn sight
List again.
"Ah ~ -..
Can size be unconscious of our presencef
Her hand gropes upon the floor. Had she
lost jewel? Her dark eye in wild pllrenzy
flashed The sweet. ..smle has vanished from
Ter features. But 10 it returns in triumph
she speaks
''Mary Mary 1've killed that darned old
bug at last!"
Pleas ant enough but wrong was the
reply of the little urchin who, on being
arraigned for playing marbles On Sunday.
and sternly asked: "Do you know where
those little boys 60 TO who are wicked
enough 10 play marbles on Sunday9" re.
replied very innocently, "Yes: some
Of 'em goes down by The common, and
some Of 'em goes down by the side Of
the river"
GTAt colored ball, tbs following notice
was posted at the door:
Tickets fifty cents. No gemman admitted
less he comes hissef.
IThe Philadelphia Gazette, speaking
of new prima dona, says:
ssHer voice Is as soft As 81 roll Of velvet,
and as tender as pair of slop.sl,op panta-
loOns."
" When young m an confidently tells
you that such young lady "has no heart"
you may be sure he has been trying it on
and has failed to make q favorable imprss-
sion.
Nothing on earth can smile but man.
fold Provelb.
Quite mistake! Vimmens and vidders
can smile to our certain knowledge.
E%"Sonny, don't see anything growing
about here. What does your father raise on
this land 20
"Wall, dunow, he raises hackmatacks,
hoptoads, graeshoppers, tumble bugs, and
some other darn vegetables Yesterday he
raised double.breasted pig-pen right under
the window; and mother raised Cain"
A Coon Hrr. The Loda Garden State
gets off the followin sharp one:
"Hhy is Nebraska shinplaster like an
impenitent sinner? Because it don't know
that its redeemer iveth."
GA Dutchrnan thus describes the New
YoIkers: "Fine people," says he; "Gey 60
about der streets all day, scheating each
oder, and dey call dat business. :