The Wyandot pioneer. (Upper Sandusky, Ohio) 1853-1868, 1858-04-23
THE PATENT UMBRELLA.


THE PATENT UMBRELLA.
Beard, the Cincinnati artist, has invent
ed plan to stop that most inconvenien'
and unpunishable crime, umbrella theft,
which we intend to make public at the
risk Of violating the patent laws. We
will tell the story as he related it
Il had bought fine silk umbrella,
and started for the Burnett House, on a
rainy day, when I began to reflect upon
my extravaganza, and to wander as
tripped along proudly under its broad and
safe cover, whether or mott. would 60
the way Of all umbrellas, and leave me to
the 'pitiless peltings Of the storm before
the day was over. True. could keep it
in my hand, but then I was occasionally
so absent minde that l would be just as
apt to set it down in public bar-room
or even to have it quietly takeu out of
my hand by some adrois 'purloiner.'-
Suddely an idea occurred. stepped in
to hardware store and purchased a
small paddock.
On arriving at the hotel, I closed my
umbrella, slipped the lock on to the wire
spring which keeps it shut, and desposit-
ed it with the most perfect confidence in
the public rack. I was not long waiting
for customer. A splendid looking fel-
low with goatee and moustaches stepped
up with the perfect non-ehatance and took
my identical umbrella. I quietly saun.
tered towards the door, giving casual
glance at the weather; my hero essayed
to spread the sheltering silk; but alas ! it
was no go-again! Still worse. What
the deuce was the matter ? He looked
saw the trap, and the fall Of his counte
nance was exactly that step from the sub.
lime to the ridiculous I had so often heard
Of, but never seen before. My umbrella
was quietly deposited in its place, and my
gentleman meekly sauntered towards the
reading room and slipped out Of another
door umbrela-less. o
Twas by no means satisfied with one
experiment. In little while T saw one
Of the most brazen appropriations ofsmall
things (he was especially hard on lunches
and drinks-free) in all Cincinnati
"Now," said !, sis my chance"
g This customer had an article in his
hand which might in courtesy be styled
the "ghost ofan umbrella and cotton
at that. With grandiloquent air be de-
posted it right along side Of mine, and
went to the bar. There he picked up, a
treat (it was election, time. had eat
ccrakers and cheese enormously. Thence
to the reading room. with my eye still on
him, and in less than minute, with a
shrug, and buttoning up his coat an ex-i
ira button. be passed in a rapid manner
to the door. picked Up my umbrella, m with
scarcely q glance, as be went along. 1
was on hand, With q sudden movement
be attempted 70 raise it; nogo! .isri, \
% Aagain Still q failure, With a deci
sion perfectly Napolecnic, and worthy Of
the occasion. he was about to tear away
the slight obstruction, when stepped up
and said. RI. .,,,.. "A
"Don't do that! Tn lend you Tie key!r
.Ahl MI. Beard. lHai Strange mis-
take thought it was my own. 9 Good de-
vice Think I'll adopt it." !aoi'ui
And with the most perfect ease, he
put my umbrella down, took his sowns and
pamosed. 1ftfo 51sda ~ al daa-g iesi vi
I was satisfied. l had found out how
to keep an umbrella, and now I ana on
my way to Washington, to get o patent
for it,, sii; gi i5aielGo9 yl9IfsT eiit dliE
aia5 sw asd' 8sEsiQ o. Tab1Ea sie vstli