Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1853-1862, 1858-06-12
VARIETY.
TMTNCs ~ I'D 80. -.


DoUGrAs JEERoID's WITTEcIMs.-Fhai would Wo-
men do il they could n6i CRY, nobody knows They
arc treated badly enough ID is but If they could
not cry when thoy lzs3 how they would be put
upon-What Toor dafenseless creatures they would
be Nature has been very kind 20 them Next TO
the rhinooeFos there is nothing in the world armed
like a woman. and she knows IL.
Dat Of which fouowsthis adviceto married ladies
Cultivate your nerves. You can't pet them too
muob. Something wiz always be happening in the
house, and unless your husband be worse than
stone everv pew fright VIII be as good as a new
Gown o. a new trinket to you. There are some
domestic Wounds only 10 be healed by the jeWeleF.
Never own a woman Is right; do it once, and on
the very conoet Of ii, she'll be always wrong for
the rest of her life.
Wheu some women get talking, they club all their
husbands faults together; just children club their
cakes aud apples, TO make a common feast for the
whole.
"A Western "pote" gets of the following, ez-
planatOry Of a steamboat explosion;
The engine groaned,
The wheels did ereak,
The steam did whistle,
And the boiler did leak;
The boiler was examined
They found it was rusted,
And an on 3 sudden
The old thing busted.
One argumentin the British Parliament in favor
Of letting men marry their deceased wives sisters
was, Tint by doing SO man had only one mother
iR-laW instead Of two.
That man whose better half told him before
their marriage that she was worth $4,000, when
she wss worth 100000, as he found out after mar
riage, has forgiven her for the falsehood she told
him, and poeks.sa the ofense
The Buffalo Advertiser hears Of a curious case
in one Ct the churches Of that city, where parish
oner tlrCl items to withdraw from the society,
Of The I1lft
soeiaj5s!
Some persons cat hot soup with impunity;
others eat with a spoon.
Mrs. Pennington says her minister preached
"aboat The parody Of the probable SON"
"A domestic, newly engaged, presented to the
master, one morning, pair Of boots, the leg Of
one Of which was much longer than the other
Chow comes 1t that these boots are not Of the
same le1gthg'
81 really don't know, sir; but what bothers me
the most il that the pair down stairs are in the same
condition
"A Coon WITNESS Did the defendant knock
the pla utiG down with malice prepense?"
"No sir, he knocked him down with hat-iron."
"You misunderstood me, my friend; want to
find ont whether he attacked him with any evil
intent"
sOb no, sir, It was outside the tent"
ssNo, no. wish you TO tell me whether the attack
was at all a pree0ncsrted AFFAIR.""
NO, sir, 81 was not free concert affair; it was
at a circus"
At a fashionable city party, at which lOw-neck
dresses were g prominent feature, Miss B. sd-
dressed her country cousin:
cousin sam, did you ever see such glorious
sight before -
Never since vas weaned, said Sam, blushing.
The following pilhy correspondence recently
uassei between a Baptist and a Methodist clergy
man, IL IS said, in city where great revival has
been IL progress:
Baptist 20 Methodist clergyman" Dear Brother:
I shall b8pJzo some converts tomorrow. II any OF
your converts prefer to be baptized in our mode,
shsu bs happy TO baptize them as candidates for
your Church
Methods. to Baptist cleTgyuan--'Dear Brother:
Yours received ! prefer to wash my own sheep"
A gentleman. once conversing in the company
Of ladies and criteisiug rather severely the want
of personal beauty in other ladies' Of their aequaIn.
lance. remarked: IS They are the ugdest women
knov:" and then, with extraordinary politeness,
added, .sprsssut company always excepted u