The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1858-08-28


Darn the things
s----------------.------------
EP' What Is the difference between a fish
crmnn and a truant schoolboy? One bats
his hook aud the other hates his book
~ What Is the difference between ship
aud a hen The hen lays one cyg and the
ship lays 10.
~ Mrs Darlington, speaking Of the rapid
manner in which deeds are perpetrated, said
that at only required two seconds to fight
duel.
Tm GRlATR CRME-Ifthou art but a
Ounce, heaven will forgive thee, for II has not
given thee wisdom, but ir thoa art not honest
begone.
~ "Eyery hour that a man Is iq debt Is a
year spent In slavery" According to this,
what M everlasting long life some people
must live.
~ ever held this sentence Of the poet
as q canon Of my creed that whom God
loyclh not, they love not musickc,-T Nor
ley, 1859.
tR- Music is the art Of the prophcts il is
the only art which can calm the agitation Of
the soul, and put the devil to light.-Mar-
lin LHffrr.
~ "Shc is all my fancy painted her" as
the Young Indian said OF hs Glyorilc -squaM
whose face he had just bcdaubcd with ycrmil-
ion and yellow ochrc.
t-V- One person having asked another ifhc
believed in the appearance or' spirits, "No,"
was the rcplyi "but believe in their disap-
pearancc, for I've missed bottle Of gin since
last night
~ 81 believe that mine will be the fate of
Abel" said wife to her husband one day.
"Why so ?" inquired the husband. "BccauSd
Abel was killed by club, aud your club will
kill me- il you continue to go to it every
night" -s.....
10" George Colman, getting out of hack
ncy coach one night gave the driver
shilling "This is Il bad shilling said Jar
vey. "1hon it's all right" said George,
with his inimitable ehucbei "yours is bad
coach"
~ Youth bcholds happiness cleaning in
the prospect Age looks back on the happi-
ness of youth and instead of hopes, seeks its
enjoyment in the recollection of hopes. Thus
happiness ever resides in the Imagination
Coleridge.
tB-lf any one knows why woman should
teach or do any other good work, foi half
what man would receive for the same SER
vice, let him give the world the benefit of his
knowledge but if none can give good rea-
son for this disparity, then all should unite
to remove il us injurious and unjust.
An IRIsu PRoposAL.-A physician at Bath
lately remarked in a coffee house. in that city
that he had three fine daughters, to whom he
should give ten thousand pounds sterling
each, and no one had yet come forward to
marry them. with your lGre, Doctor" said
an lrishmon who was present stepping up and
making respectful bow, an take two of
them"
On THE GREAT "NorIIING TO WEAR" QUESTION
A way to dress,
In the mode, | guess,
-.- Picks n husbands bones quite clcIgn,
And poor Mr., Spratt A%
Must cry mo fat %
As his wife will cri-no-icne !
AN OLD IMPROMPTU. y
sLrourLy ALTERED ron THE PRESENT OCCASION.
The news from two continents now,
ln sent through the depths of the sea,
The fishes, all wagging their tails,
Cry, gracious, how wise WE shall be
MERIDIAN AT NEW YoRK AND ELsEwHERE.
When it is - o'clock in New York, it is:
At Boston, Mass, . minutes past II.
At Portland, Me-, 16 minutes past -.
At Philadelphia, Pa, 55 minutes past /.
At Baltimore, Md, so minutes past IL.
At Richmond Va, 40 minutes past /.
At BuHalsseeSHlaf9ss ", oominutes past II.
AT ChDrleslnn. s. C.. 4E19ne ties past. L..
At Pillsburg Pa, 35 minutts past l 1.
~ At Wheeling, Va, "a minutes past IL.
At ARElTstu, Ga. 80 minutes past II.
At BufeSFe' Mich, "a minutes past /.
At Columbus, Ohio "a minutes past l.
At Cincinnati Ohio, 20 minutes past IL.
AT indianapolis, Ind, Ii minutes past i.
At Louisville, KY, Ii minutes past /.
At New Orleans, Ln., j5 minutes past 10.
At ST. Louis, Mo-, 5j minutes past 10.