Clarksville chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1857-1865, 1858-11-19

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A LITERAL WITNESS -"Did the de-
fendant knock the plaintiff down with
malice prepense ?"
"No, sir, he knocked him down with a
fat iron"
"You misunderstood me, my friend I
want to know whether he attacked him
with an evil intent2"
"Oh no sir-it was outside Of the TEN" +"
"No, no, wish you to tell me whether
the attack was at preconcerted AFFAIR.""
"No sir, it was not free concert affair
it was a circus"
INsoLvENT NOTICE. The following
notice from young man with some prop
erty just left to his charge, addressed to
Judge of Probate, is published in the
Saturday Evening Gazette;
Sir-My father departed his life not
/ long since leaving wife and FIVE scor-
pions. He died detested, and his estate
is likely to prove insolvent. I was left
executioner, and being told that you we're
Judge of Reprobates apply to you for let
ters of condemnation. 4-t-.s
A country editor announces in the fol-
lowing terms that he has suspended specie
payments:
off any man wants to see stars and ap-
preciate one of the uses to which brick
bats may be perverted, let him approach
our vicinity with an account"
P.S.-We keep pile of bricks in our
sanctum and carry one in our hat.
An advertisement by railway company
of some un- called for goods, the letter L
was, by an accident, dropped from the word
lawful, and it now reads, "People to whom
these packages are directed are requested
to come forward and pay the a,ofM char
ges on the same"
evil you take something?" said te-
totler to friend while standing near
tavern. 4T
81 don't care if l do" was the reply.
"Well," said the tetotler, "lets take a
walk"
ais your powder goodP" "a barrel of
it took FIRE the other day, and, before l
could bring bucket Of water, half Of it
was burned up"
"If you touch my dog, you touch me, -
said pert young man to lady.
"Sir, / know very well, that if touch
you touch dog"
A lame fellow wanted TO enlist as vol
unteer in the military service. "You
wouldn't do" said the recruiting officer
"the more we ordered you to march, the
more you would halt"
"Sallie," said young man to his red
haired sweetheart, "keep your head away
from me you will set me on fire."
"No danger" was the contemptuous an
swer, "you are too green to burn"
A witness was asked if the defendant
''stood on the defensive?" 'No, he stood
on bench, and fit like the devil"
FASHION, The ladies of 1858 are like
the freman's basket, we'll hooped They
also delight in exhibiting their hose. Sc
says an exchange.
Mamma" said promising youth some
four or five years of age, "if all people are
made Of dust, amt niggers made of coal
dust?"
"Settipg man trap" is the title to .
picture of very pretty young lady ar.
ranging her curls at mirror.
"My character" said an Alderman, who
had cleared himself from charge Of bti.
berry, ''my character sir, is like my boots
all the brighter for backing"
"How did you learn that graceful atti-
tude 2" said a gentleman TO a feller lean,
ing in tipsey fashion against post. al
have been practising at glass.
Venture not to the utmost bounds Of
even lawful pleasures. The limits Of good
and evil join.
A gentleman at musical party, seeing
that the fire was going out, asked friend
in whisper, "How he could stir the fire
without interrupting the music ?" "Be.
tween the bars replied the friend. >
On Saturday night printers sppren-
tice went sparkling a ministers daughter
Next day the good man preached frem the
text My daughter is previously tornen