White Cloud Kansas chief. [volume] (White Cloud, Kan.) 1857-1872, 1858-11-25


boat clerk, and desired that his snakes
shonld be put at once upon the market.
Understanding the hoax at once, and
determined not to spoil the fun, Messrs.
b. d II. regretted that they had Just fill
cd their last order for snakes, but had no
doubt they would meet with ready sale,
as there were several houses in the trade,
and he was directed to one of these.
By this time the news became general.
and everybody knew that there was a snake
vender in town, and all had disposition
to 'humor the joke" Reading the signs
as he went along. our friend soon arrived
at another counter and demanded "if they
didn't want to buy some snaix ?" Here
he was Intercepted with businessIike
gravity. as to the age. size, and species,
to which he replied that 'they were of
all sizes-little, middlin' and big: old,
young and midGle-aged; spreadin' adders,
copper bellied, high land, and water moe
casins, striped and yaller rattlesnakes :;
but they were all the genuine pizen, war
ranted to bite if they could, and kill if
they Bit
These were just the kind they had wan
ted, and they were extremely sorry he had
not arrived day or two earlier, as it was
probable they might have purchased the
"whole lot :" however, thsre was a firm
few doors below, who were in the snake
market, and would 10 doubt be glad of
SO good an opportunity of furnishing their
friends in Liverpool with such variety
Of poisonous serpents, and to this house
he was directed.
In this way the poor, unsuspecting, I'M
sophisticated snake catcher, was driven
from house to house, from number to
number, until at last the day began to
wane and the prospects Of a sale to grow
dim he presented himself, with flushed
cheek and perspiring forehead, to the
captain of one of our vessels, who, he had
been told, would take the whole lot at a
fair price, and asked in despairing and
almost suppliant tone, "Dont you want
to buy my Snair 2"
The captain was prepared for the ques-
ton, as the joke had reached the climax
and an unaffected, irresistible roar Of
laughter broke from the crowd who had
collected to hear his last appeal.
The snake man stood aghast, the very
picture of utter amazement md wonder
but verdaht as he was, ray of light
broke in upon him, and he began to I'M
derstand that he had been completely ia
ken in. Ifany doubts still fingered about
his obtuse intellect, they were effectually
removed by the remarks of the crowd.
"Well," said he, after pausing awhile
as if to bring his mind to focus upon
the extent of his wrongs-"well, it's a
id mean trick any how, to serve
Teller. Here I've had three niggers two
days catchin' snaix, takin' sight of pains
to get 'em without bruise or a scratch |
run the risk of bein' bit by the blasted
pizen things-paid three dollars to come
down on the ID old boat deck pas
sage at that, and the danger of Dustin up
thrown in-paid thirty-seven and half
cents freight on the barrel-lost three days
work myself, and wore my legs a most
off trampin' over your lister shells and
sand-got your nasty feas all over me a
bitin-and hain't sold nary snake! It's
low life trick, any way you can fix it. and
that's what Teller gifts by havin' any
dcalin's with your steamboat clerks and
your town people-the Outlienest set in oil
creation I'll 'caop every snaix head off,
and take 'em back, for they shouldn't
crawl in no such dod rotted place as this
is"
And the ''green I'M" was downright
savage. To appease his wrath. however,
"the boys" treated to the best the town
made mp subscription to pay
his passage back home, IN tie cabin. and
promised never to buy snake from any
body but him, because he produced the
real pizeH breed.
Having put his threat Of beheading the
serpents into execution, he left our city in
the return boat with his barrel of dead
vipers, in much better humor than could
have been expected-declaring, however.
most roundly to the last, that she'd never
believe ID steamboat clerk agin as
long as he lived" and that he had made
"his first and last trip to Ap0lachieola.