Anti-slavery bugle. [volume] (New-Lisbon, Ohio) 1845-1861, 1858-05-15
Prom the Boston Journal.
THE QUACK AND HIS PATIENT

The following fragment Of nm unpublished
was picked up near the Custom House.
Its authorship is attributed to an officer of the
customs whose lips are sealed by the fear Of re
moval, and who, it is conjectured, has in this
round about way expressed his private opinion
Of the Kansas Controversy
Persons representative Buchanan, a physi-
elan Of the S~angrado school, Dr.. Douglas, a smart
young practitioner; Master Kansas, a lad whose
constitution has been seriously deranged by the
treatment of the quack.)
DR.. Buchanan with q severity intended to in
spire awe)-My boy, here ia another dose of med
icine. | know it is nauseous. and am well aware
that when i assumed the charge OF your case, l
promised that you should not be compelled to take
unpleasant medicines. But circumstances alter
cases. You must take this medicine, so that I can
pocket my fee. 1t is the last dose | shall give you
- [aside- it will dispose of his case, without
doubt. You can then throw it of, and take some
thing else, CT do what you please, if it does not
cure you. Come hold your breath and down with
it.
Mr.. Douglas-But, Dr.. Buchanan, this medi-
cine is not adapted to the boys disease. 1t is not
compounded according to the forms prescribed in
the books, and besides being nauseous, will but
aggravatc existing difficulties. Nature will rebel
at such treatment.
DR.. Buchanan (indignantly)-How dare you,
sir, presume upon old acquaintance and friendship
to Interfere with my patient? True, the case is
a delicate one, and | have called you in to consult
with me, but it was merely as q matter Of form.
Like my 'illustrious predecessor whose mantle |
wear, i take the responsibility
DR.. Douglas-And l protest. The medicine is
not suited to his case. The lad wants air and ex-
ercise, not physic. Here is a fine, spirited youth.
and if you persist in forcing this compound upon
him, he may suffer from its effect during his matt
ural life. He is justified in resisting.
DR.. Buchanan-(very red in the face, and with
Il lifheNltv maintaining n phOw of dipnlty1-Slr
your conduct is insufferable. l shall take the ear
lest opportunity to lay the facts before the Medi
cal Society with which we are connected, and | dc
not doubt that my influence as President will Sc
cure your expulsion. You may consider yourself
expelled.
your influence with the society may not be 80 pow
erful as you imagine. We shall sec. Erit.
DR.. Buchanan-Now, boy, l am not to b
/ triHed with. Take this medicine. (Approachin.
with the potiou.)
. Master Kansas-No! Mol No! (Resists violent
= IL, plucks off Buchanan's wig, kicks his shins
%cversets his medicine and forces him to retract
utterly ~discOm6sted.
SCENE TWO.
d Master Kansas meditating how he shall escap
d from the nursery. Enter DR.. Buchanan. VIII
), has somewhat recovered from his confusion.)
DR.. misunderstanding an air Of patroni7in
| benignity)-My dear Master Kansas, you hav
behaved very naughsily, but have only confrme
the opinion Of you which l had previously enteI
tanned. l am acting entirely for your good
t | know that you want TO escape from your con
fnement, but you cannot do so until your docto
is dismissed. Now, my dear, / have prepared an
other dose of medicine for you. As | said before
d it will be the last which l shall require you t
K take. | do not wish to deceive you, and will nc
q knowledge that it is just like the last dose whicl
e you so w~ickedly split. But, with a sardonic smile,
e if you will take the medicine, you shall go GU
into the bright sunshine, AMI here is a stick o
candy to sweeten tie dose. If you do not take it
you young rascal, you shall stay here until 20,
repent your contuniacy.
Master Kansas wont, won't take it. 1t will
make me more sick, and | may as well stay here
I as to have my freedom without being able t.
enjoy it.
DR.. Dou glas (who has entered during the colo
E qnr)--The boy is right. The medicine is tn
same, and it will not the less ruin his constitution
t because it is sweetened with candy. Give the DO,
n light and air.
DR.. Buchan Intensely agitated)-How dar
!, you, sir. again interfere with my patient? Tn
medicine he shall take. l will give him q few
\ hours for reflection, and he knows the alternativ,
if he continues to refuse. tErit.)
DR.. Douglas Ito Master Kansas)-Poor follow
3 keep up your spirits. will do what / can for you
|. and w may yet c%ircumvent the old quack. (Ereun
lonaHes)