Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1858-08-21
From the Peoria CIl.) Transcript
VEGETABLE BUNC0MBE.

We had beguntO suspect that there was some
thing "rotten in Denmark as well as in GER
tain vegetable patch in which we were interest
ed-we had. We dreamed of nothing of the
KIND last spring, however, when, stepping into
the post-otiicc one fine morning, we found a
huge package Of foreign garden seeds deposit
ed in our box, bearing the bold frank of one of
our members Of Congress, and the information
printed ON the other corner that they were from
the United States Patent Office. We thought
1t very commcndabe in our government to send
abroad and procure the seeds of rare onions and
squaShes and pumpkins and potatoes, and dis
tribute them gratuitously. 1t really looked as
If the federal fathers had AN eye to the agricul-
turaI interests OF thenation, and were not wholly
absorbed in schemes for enslaying Kansas and
for robbing the treasury. And then. that frank,
and the Esq at the end of our name There
was no mstaking their meaning. Our Honor
able member OF Congress, the man for whom
we voted had remembered us, had recognized
us as one OF his worthy constituents. had shown
us that he appreciated our standing in the COM
munity by giving title to our name, (which
never belonged to it, by the way. and by for
warding US. free of expense, a liberal supply of
choice-yery ohoice-foreign garden seeds!
We went home with that package of garden
seeds under our arm in first rate humor with
the government of the United States and its of
fcers' deeply grateful for the thoughtful appre-
citation of our Honorable member Of Congress,
and with better opinion than common of our
own importance. The most favorable spot in
the garden was selected, the earth carefully pre-
pared, and the seeds carefully planted. Then
we left them to the kindly influences of the sun
and soil for week, and INDUCED in pleasant
prospects of a crop of extraordinary vegetables
Daily, now, we visited the patch and looked for
signs of the coming crop, but alas for human
hopes and choice Congressional seeds, both were
blasted. and rank growth Of weeds was the
only reward for our labor and anxiety.
We should have attributed the failure TO the
weather and charged nature with the dislp-
pointmcnt. but our neighbor over the way, who
planted none but old fashioned Shaker seeds
with old fashioned names, procured at corner
grocery for ten cents n paper, was blessed with
mxuriant and promising growth of different
kinds of vegetables. When this discovery had
been made, we began to suspect that there was
something wrong--thatw we had been bamboozlcd,
humbugged. taken in and done for-that those
foreign seeds procured by the government and
sent us by our member of Congress, were but
the germ, of another choice specimen of official
rascality, instead Of the germs of choice vcgcta-
blcs-ihat the whole thing was in short, anoth-
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cboracd that tho soie . mas i.Vsh.
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n~oysJ hv nrcr;ous ,r;o u' % "i nIu oeell
T,nc in hi; co,tr,. 'd,' 10. 10 'I VI rte OF no
ne were SO common as to be found at every vii
toT tho .r.e was no occasion
rc,b S soSs ,Sot G't,I h"n 20 IPurt mem mem f land
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