Meigs County telegraph. [volume] (Pomeroy [Ohio]) 1848-1859, 1858-03-30


EJ-Why is the Ie ter S like sewing
machine? Because it makes needles
needless.
EE-A Yankee says that prejudice
against color is very natural, and yet the
prcttcst girl he ever knew was Olive
Brown.
GE' We yesterday received an imperli-
ncnt letter, upon which, although it was
duly postpaid, we at once put three ad
ditional stamps upon it--with the heel of
our boot.
EEA modern writer says: ''It may
seem strange, but it is fact, that men
generally are much more afraid Of women
than women are of men," Brown re-
marks that the fact is not strange at all;
for in both cases the fear is proportioned
to the danger. Candid, but ungallant.
TIE WONDERS or NATURE.--"What do
you think of that?'' said an enthusiastic
tourist to Il pumpkin, who was looking at
Niagara for the first time in his life.
"Wel," there's n good deal o. water,
but know man in our neighborhood
thst's got calf with five legs
Evidently he thought Niagara no great
shakes.
re-" Bridget" said lady to her SER
want, Bridget Couley. "who was that man
you were talking with so long at the gate
last night?" Sure, no one but my eld
est brother, ma'am," replied Bridget, with
flushed check. Your brother; didn't
know you had one. What is his name?"
Barney Octoolan, ma am" ''Indeed !;
how comes it that his name is not the
same as yours?" "Troth, ma'am, he
has been married once"
Es-A clergyman catechising the youth
of his Church, put the ques ton from the
catechism to a yourg lady
"What is your consolation in life and
death?"
She smiled, but did not answer.
The clergyman insisted.
"Well, them" she said, "if must tell,
it is the cabinet maker on Front Street"
Eg-Professor of Latin Now, gentle
men, suppose you all understand what a
declension is, and what is n conjunction.
Will Master Tompkins tell us the differ
ence?
Scholar (rather too smart for his age J.
Why, sir, suppose young gentleman
pops the question to young lady-well,
sir, if she doesn't choose to cOnugdte she
Declines!
RE-A irst-rate joke took place lately
in Il courtroom. A woman was testifying
in behalf Of her son. and swore that he
had worked on a farm ever since he was
born.
The lawyer who cross-examined her
said, "you assert your son has worked OH
farm ever since he was born?"
II do"
"What did he do the first year,"
"lIe n,Hkedr'
The lawyer evaporated.
TME BOsTONIAN AND TIE ARKANSAS Girl
A good story is told of BoStCn mans first a y.
rearance in polite society in Arkansas. The
company were engaged in dancing but the
lovelest female present occupi ed chair al
the window, without partner. Stepping ur
70 the lady, with a palptating heart, his mint
greatly excited for fear OF refusal, he ex-
elaimed-"Will you do ne the honor to grace
me with your company for the next setP'-
Her luSunuS eyes Shone with unwontcd brill
fancy; her white pearly teeth gliStened in The
hlckering candlelight, her heavy snowy bosom
rose and fell with JOYFUL rapture as she re
piled HeS-Sr-ee! for have sot, and sot
and sot, till have about TUX root!'
DASiEL AND Moan WEBSTER UNrTED.--At
meeting Of the fire nds and believers in Spir
ituaIiSm held IN this town, not long Slce
among the 'relicS" of The departed, the spiri
Of Daniel Webster raped itself into notice
The great statesman, through the Medium
grey headed Observation-Disclosures that h
had been great man and that h. had commit
Ted many errors in the flesh He Ead mad
many mistakes in his social life, in his di
plomatlc career, in his political course, an
there were some, he was sorry 10 say, IN hi
Observation-Disclosures (Mass.) Gazette
GIyE HIM THE MITTEN-"Ah! MOI
disu!' said Monsieur Meeno;s to his frent
Sniffins, my sweetheart give me de nit
ten"
Indeed; how did that lnppen?"
''Vell fought must go and max
her one vissect belpre leave town, SOW
step in de side of de rpom, and dare
behold her beautifully parison stietch on
en- very IOzy."
~ lounge, you near"
"Ah, yes-von loung. And den
make Won yer polite branch, and"
You mean a polite Go,O."
"Ah, ycS-yon bough. And den 81,
yer sure she be rotten, il did no
come 10 see her before -
"You said what?' .t'
IL said she would be rotten. if
That's enough. You have put YOU
foot in IT, to be sure"
no, ssre. / put my foot out of it
for she say she would call her sacre biz
brother and keek Dle out. be gar! | haC
intention to say mortified! but | coulc
not think of de void. aud mortily and ro
is all the same as Won, ia my dictionairc!'