Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1858-01-12
How Tom COrWfn Rid his Sister or an
Obnoxious Lover.
BIZ 4 wEsrERN NAN.

] -
BIZ WESTERN NAN.
Every one has heard Of the eloquent, pa,
thetic and humorous stump orator Of Ohio
He was pronounced by Mr. Clay "a most com
petent authority to be the finest stump speak
er he bad ever heasdi and in this opinion
sncst Asartiiy coincide, after having heard
| Clay, Crittenden, Jones of Tennessee, Polk
Benjamin, Soule, Randall. Hunt, Tom Mar
shall, Gen. Lamar, Bates, Douglas, and a host
of others.
Well, this great orator carried his love Of
| fun into every department of life. In the pri
,yate circle, where he knew every person, and
where he unbosomed himself fully, he was the
most delightful and genial eonversationalist,
ever listened to. / do not know that he now,
as age and infirmity are creeping on, indulges
this proclivitysto hamor so much as he used
to do. Bpt some twenty years ago he used to
tell, with great guato. ille Moving story
9 slsfl ESQ early that cannot re-
anienlber the tenoSal my father pulled up
stakes and carrying with him the household
goods, went from Bourbon county, Kentucky,
where was born, to Ohio. Notwithstanding
rough -and-turnble struggle with the world,
he had a hard lime 10 get on, owing to a nu-
merous and rapidly Increasing family. Well,
taIhlIJ uaGtSTS udu Lt't u1uCu llHptON0U WuSu
/ had reached my thirteenth or fourteenth year
At this time there lived in the neighbor
hood young man by the name of Pickering.
He had inherited well,stocked farm, was
good-looking, and made strong profession of
religion. This latter qualification caused him
to find peculiar favor in the eyes of my father,
who was always blindedby professions Of extra
piety.
"This fellow had strong hankering after
one of my sisters, who was pretty girl. To
her be was peculiarly distastefnl. She SEEM
ed always excessively annoyed at his presence.
Yet he was ever at her side. She dared not
dismiss him entirely, for fear Of the paternal
anger. Things went on this way for year
or two, and as parteoS lergely of my sisters
hatred to him, resolved TO get rid of him in
some way. i cast about for a plan for some
time, but nothing occurred which gave me the
slightest hops of being successful.
"At last, returning home late one summer
night from mill, / found the family at their
nightly devotions. Passing by the windows
of the room in which they were assembled,
saw that Pickering was there, and pretty soon
l discovered that he was nodding, and fiually
his head dropped. Now was nv opportunity.
1 stole silly into the hall, and reaching the hall
door, which was slightly ajar, and close by
WHICH IlCk6tlDR was, on DeNNeu hueS1 3
reached in and, quickly p.:lling his chair from
or would, upon the floor. The noise alarmed
all. i, The old gentleman stopped in the midst
of his almost ipterminable prayer, and saw the
position of Pickering. All the family laughed
outright; even my mother smiled.
pickering endeavored to pick himself up
as rapidly as possible, but he had touched the
old man upon his tenderest point. i was evil
dent from his rubbing his eyes, that he had
slept under tho old 9entlemau's ministratioDs
and had not my father. a reputation far and
wide for the fervency and strength of his min
istrations, ard was not Pickering his profess
ing brotAer! 1t was too much. Slowly, yet
most dignifedly did the old man approach
him. .Begone, hypocriteP he cried, in thun-
der tones. Never enter my house again
"Pickering was thunderstruck. He felt
that he could make no apology which would
not add to the insult. lie had no suspicion
of the exterior force which had aided him in
his fall. He at once found his hat, took up
passed by me as l stood grinning in the shadow
of the porch. *
cat a suitable time entered, got my sup
per, was told Sya brother in hurried whispers,
what had happened, and then stole off to
bed, affecting ignorance and laughing most
heartily, as ensconced myself in the sheets,
at the complete success Of my plan.
"Next day cautiously impaired my secret
to my interested sister. She was in her own
room at tho time, and she threw herself upon
the bed and rolled In agonies ar d conyulslons
Of laughter. She had been enancipated for
ever from tie attentions of an obnoxious lover.
The old gentleman did not hear the real state
of the facts for full twenty years afterwards;
but when he did, he laughed heartily"