Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1858-12-30
NO. 3lO.
MISCELLANEOUS READING.
ITO THE SEXTANT."

The following lines appeared originally IN
the Detroit Tribune. Our readers will excuse
the absence OF correct orthography, and the
/ imperfect poetic measure, in view OF the earnest
ness OF the writer in humane and noble cause.
We hope all our church. builders and church
goers will read and profit Its philosophy Is
admirable.
A ArPEEL FOR ARE TO THE sEXTASr OF THE OLD
BRICK NEETISoUsE by A. CASPER.
q seXtant OF the meetinouse, wlch sweeps
And dusts, or is supposed to! and makes fers,
And lights the gas, and sometimes leaves screw
loose,
Iu which case it smells erful-worse than lamp
lie
And wrings the BEL and toles it when men dyes
to the grief OF survvn pardners, and sweeps
pathes;
And for the services gets $l00 per snnum,
Wich them that thinks deer let EN- try IT,
Getn up beloar star-ite in ali wethers, and
Kindin fires when the weather is as cold
As zero, and like as not grean wood for kindlers;
wouldn't be hired TO do il for no some
Bnr, Sextant! there are 1 kermoddity
Wchs more than gold, which doant cost nothin
Worth more than anything except the Sole OF
Mann!
mean pewer Are, Sextant, mean pewer Are
o II is plenty out o dores so plenty II doart no
What on arth 10 dew with itself, but hys about
Scattern leaves and bloin OF mems hats
In short, It's Jest ire as are out dores.
But sextant in our church It's scarce as piety,
Scarce as bank bills when agnts beg for mish'
uns,
Wich some says is purity often (taint nothin 10
me,
Wat give aint nothin to nobody but o sextant,
II shet 500 men, wimmln and children,
Speshaly the latter, up in lite place
Some has bad breths, none amt swete,
Some is tevery, some IS scrofilus, some has Dad
teeth,
And some haint none, and some amt over clean;
But every on em breethes IN 4 out and out q IN,
Say 50 times mint, or one million and hall
breths an our.
Now how long will church full Of are last at
that rate
ask you-say Is minits, and then watts TO be
ddi
Why then they must breethe il all over agin,
And then agin, and so on, Till each has took
down
At least 10 times, and let il up agn, and waits
more,
The same ndivdible don't have the priveledge
of brethen his own are, and no ones else;
Each one must take whatever comes to him.
sextant, doant you no our lungs is bellusses,
To bio the fire OF life and keep it from
goin out? and how can bellusses blow without
wind,
And aint wind dre2 put il 10 your conschens.
Are is the same TO us as milk to babies,
Or water is to fish, or pendulum to clox-
Or roots & arbs unto an iniun Doctor,
Or little pills unto an omepath,
Or boys to guIls Are is for us to brethe:
Wat signifies who breaches il cant brethe!
Watts Pol, watts Poilss, to sinners who are deif
Ded for want of breth! Why, sextant, when we
dye -
It's only coz we can't bfethe no more-thats all.
And now, sextant let me beg of you
2 let little are into our church
(Pewer air is sartain proper for the pews)
And do it weak days and Sundays tew-
1t aint much trouble-only make hole,
And the are will come of itself;
Or luvs to come in where il can get warmD
Ard how it will rouze the people up
And sperrit up the preacher, and stop garps,
And yawns and fggits as eiiectooal
As wind on the dry Boans the Profit tells OF.