Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1858-08-31
From the N. o. Picayatne.
The Last Item in a Bill Of Costs.

ory of certain denizens of the delightful subur
ban town of Carrollton, legend concerning
certain bill of costs in case before one OF th'
courts of the place, which has lately been re
leased from Imprisonment, and which seems u
Us to contain material for a small sized story
Disclaiming any sentiments towards Mr.. Spitfes
the hero figured in the transaction, but admira
tion for his brilliant genius, we have no hesita.
ton in placing on record another important in.
stance illustrative of the widely popular fact
that some things can be done as well as others.
| Owing to the large curve and the heavy our
rent of the river opposite Carrollton, large
number of timber RATS are drawn in to the lie.
wee, against the wishes Of their engineer, while,
at the same time, many of these institutions are
landed there for sale. In the latter category
was the particular raft to which our small sized
story has reference, and which was commanded
by Captain Jeptha Wabash--he being both COM
mander and half owner. Capt W. had not long
been in Carrollton before he became afflicted
with that dreadful malady, combination of un-
toward circumstances, and the result was his
becoming involved in law suit.
The Captain was still fnrther unfortunate In
having judgment rendered against him, and in
due time the raft on which he had fioated so
proudly into port, was very extensively seized
| by every indefatgable officer of the Court
| Wabash swelled with Indignation as he saw an
| Unlocking man 60 aboard of his sticks and tie
them up, as they had not been tied before, by
means of paper which he carried in his left
coat. tail pocket. He mentally proposed to him
self to 60 aboard, to do the Unlocking man q
moderate amount of personal damage, and then
spill him into the river. But that detestable pa
per was in the way, and Captain Jeptha Wabash
choked his great wrath with mouthful of "pig-
tall" He would keep them out of the money
as long as he could any way; but the Captain
dreamed not what he was preparing for himself
when he made this resolution.
The savage mood lasted Wabash several days.
when reflection convinced him that the fight was
altogether one.sided one. and he resolved to
pay up. In carrying out this pious resolution,
the worthy captain became painfully conscious
of the expense of getting indignant at q legally
rendered judgement, but he had become admi-
rably good natured and philosophical, and mur-
INJURED at nothing. The bill of costs was rendered
in one grand total, and it was paid without OBJ
jections, and everything seemed finally disposed
of. But the next day, it struck the captain, as
he again looked at the grand total of that bill,
that his partner might want to study into some
of its particulars, SO he straghtway proceeded to
then office Of Spiffies, and, representing this
state of the case, humbly requested bill Of
items "Of course he could haveit Very hap
py to accommodate him." and there forthwith
rained down upon virgin sheet OF foolscap such
shower of items that Capt. Jeptha was struck
with amazement and involuntary admiration for
the beauties and intricacies of judicial ma
chinery.
The seizure of the raft constable's keeper of
the raft, same man going twice day to see a.
bout the raft, ropes to hold the raft, &C., &C.,
were all duly set down, and yet the total bill fell
$40 short of the amount named in the "round
bill" Spifles was puzzled, and Wabash looked
on with the air of a man resigned to his fate,
and Indifferent to all small matters. Spfdes
stood in need of an idea and an item the latter
being powerfully necessary to establish proper
degree of uniformity between the two bills, and
leaned back in his chair, and nervously scratch
ed his head He was certain he had forgotten
something. Suddenly the face Of Spiffies islght-
ed up with look of intense satisfaction; he
dashes his pen into the inkstand, and addressing
himself in rather harsh manner, wonders that
he could have overlooked ''those two men,
Spiffles triumphantly completes the aill as fol-
lows:
"To service of two men, two days, at $3.50
per day, pumping out raft, $40.
Wabash was speechless, and with his eyes fix.
ed upon that last item in his bill, he gradually
disappeared around corner, entirely absorbed
in incomprehensbility.