davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1858-05-05

The Spiritual Har5inger, a pa
per printed III Rochester, n. Y. and
advocating the Spiritual Rapping man
Ia, has the following
''In the twelfth hour, the glory of
God, the life Of God, the Lord in God,
the Holy Procedure, shall crown the
triune Creator with the perfect disclo-
sive illumination. Then shall the crea-
ton, in its effulgence in the divine Ser
aphine, arise into the dome Of discIos-
ure, IN one comprehensive revolving
galaxy of supreme created beatitudes." :"
To which the Cayuga Chief re-
sponds-
''Then shall the block-heads in the
jackasstlcal dome of disclosiye proceed
ure above alfred great leather fungus
Of Peter Nipninnygo, the gooseberry
grinder, rise into the dome disclosive.
until co-equal and co-extensive and
congiomerated lumaxes, in one grand
comprehensive mux, shall assinailate in
to nothing, and reyolve like a bobtail-
ed pussycat after the space whore the
tail was"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1858-05-05
A WIFE WoRTH HAvING.-A cor
respondent Of the =. Y. Times in writ
ing from Watertown, Jefferson CO., n.

a WIFE WORTH HAvING.-A cor
respondent Of the n Y. Times in writ
ing from Watertown, Jefferson co., n.
Y, says:
Early on Sunday morning. three pris-
oners. named Wilson, Eddie, Missile
and Ward, by feigning the sickness of
one of their number, got the iailor at
this place, MIR. Baker, in their power,
gagged and bound him, and locked him
in cell. This done, they robbed him
of his money and the key of the prison.
and were calmly taking their leave
when they were drought all up stand
ing" by beholding the iailor's little wife
pointing at them through railing, a
loaded revolver, and calmly Informing
that she would put bullet through the
first man who attempted to come for
ward. A conversation something like
this followed:
Prisoner-The devil YOU will! You
don't know how to shoot it.
Mrs. Baker-Try it and see, if YOU
like! have been practicing with this
pistol for the past few days and prom
lse You | will kill the first man who
comes forward.
Prisoner-W ell, if that's your game.
we'll be quits with you. Now, take
your choice, young woman-either let
us pass ont in peace, or submit to have
your husbands brains knocked out
against the walls Of the jail. Which
do you like best? Perhaps that won't
be gay, nor nothing, just to see him
laying out there cold and stiff, with his
brains laying around. Ha .ha !-d-d
pretty picture, amt it? D-d pretty
wife you, amt ye to get your husband
killed? Come, now, what dye saw?
Let us out, and it'll be all right-won't
ye? And the Speaker moved forward
a step.
Mrs: Baker-7Ae. first man acho steps
orer Ntat sill, dies :
And there that brave woman held
those men at bay, for something like
half an hour, until help came, and they
were driven into their cells.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1858-05-05

20 Ex-Governor Boutwell, told the
following at a recent Educational Con-
ventlon IN Pittsfield: AYankee school
master came over from Massachusetts
into \ ork State last fall and engaged
school. He was told that there was
one family of unruly boys who had
turned the last teacher out of doors.
and would try the same game on him
The new master resolved to begin with
a firm hand, and establish his authority
at the outset. On the first day of school,
all went smoothly; none of the rebel
llous family-the tchfelds-were
there. The next day the same. On
the third day, a stout young fellow of
eighteen OF nineteen appeared; and
when the teacher asked his name, to
record it, he learned it was Litchfield.
'Ah, your name is Litchfeld Just
step out here" And he commenced
whaling him with ali his might, till the
frightened youth fled for his life.
There" said the triumphant peda-
gogue, Il understand those Litchfields
threaten to turn me out of doors, and
We'll see who is master here!''
The boys laughed, and seemed to en-
JOY it so much, that the excited hero of
the birch demanded an explanation,
and found to his dismay that he had
logged the wrong youth-a very inof-
tenslve lad Of highly respectable fam
lly, whose name had led to mistake.
The schoolmaster tho't "a stitch in time
would save nine" but unfortunately he
took it In the wrong place.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1858-05-05

The HOPED SKIRT AND BAPTISM
At Chicago last week rather amusing
scene took place during the baptism OF
a young lady by the pastor of the Tab
ernacle. The Union says 'sThe minis
ter requested her to assume the dress
peculiar to such an occasion, but she
declined to take off her hooped skirt:
the minister told her of the inconven-
lence that must result from her obsti-
macy, but like true female she persis-
ted; but when she came to descend in
to the bath, the inflated skirt touched
the water and rose up around her, like
a balloon. Her head was lost to the
congregation, she was swallowed ND in
the swelling skirt, the minister tried to
force her down into the bath, but she
was kept above the surface by the
floating properties Of crinoline, and was
6u0yed up SO successfully that it was
not until after much difficulty and many
forcible attempts to submerge the lady,
the minister succeeded in baptizino Q
the fair one. Finally it was effected,
to the relief of the minister and the Sc
riously inclined audience, who could
not keep from chuckling in their sleeves
and laughing in their pocket-kerchief." !"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1858-05-05
Decidedly Ccol.

The truth of the following story is
vouched for by the Mis- ouri correspon-
dent Of Harper's Monthly:
'Not hundred miles from here, some
SIX months ago, lived a fair widow, pos
sessed of those shining qualities that
most dazzle and charm the bachelor
She was young, handsome and wealthy.
Mrs. jackson took an eastern tour last
summer, and was beset by many suit
ors-ardent and anxious itverS-amonr
whom was kentucky lawyer, quite a
promising man; but so enamored did
he become of this fair widow, that he
left lucrative practice at home and
followed her through the entire route
OF fashionable travel He met her at
Baltimore, Philadelphia and New York;
he danced with her at Saratoga and
Newport: and when the season was
drawing to close he happened to be
with her at Niagara, and on the Ohio
River, and even at St Louis, when she
was almost home. He was always
pleading professional business as the
reason for his excursions here and there:
but he managed to plead his own suit
out OF court when counting the widow.
though he saw no evidence ola verdict
coming in his favor. At length Mrs.
jackson stepped on board the boat at
St Louis to go up the Missouri to her
own residence, when, to her surprise.
the indefatigable advocate presented
himself, as fresh as May morning.
The widow exclaimed, as she met
him:
'Why, Mr.. Jones, I thought you
were going to Louisville?"
'.Mrs. Jackson, my dear madam" re-
piled the lawyer, II am here to renew
the offer of my hand, and to beg your
acceptance"
''Really, sir, I think I have been suf-
ficlently explicit, and that YOU have had
no encouragement to pursue the mat
ter"
''But | hoped, madam, that my devo-
ton and perseverance, would finally be
rewarded"
''Do you mean, then" said the wild
ow, evidently sottened, ''that YOU real
ly had no other business in going this
Journey with me than to prosecute this
suit?'
''None in the world but the hope of
winning YOU
''Then you shall be rewarded" she
replied, with a merry twinkle in her
roguish, beautiful eyes, which the
young lawyer mistook for a sweeter
passion; ''then, my dear sir, you shall
be rewarded. Tell me now, as a gen
tleman, how much money have you
spent on this tour?''
''Do YOU really wish to know"
"Certainly, [ do.'
Mr. Jones took out his note book.
and soon reported that he had spent
nearly five-hundred dollars.
"W said the lovely widow, II do
not wish any one to lose by me-" extend
ing her purse to the lawyer
''Why, what do you mean, Mrs. Jack
son?n
Il mean what | say; take it and pay
yourself for your summers work on my
account, and let us be quits.''
And he did take it; and the widow
had to borrow money to get home
The widow was taken all aback by the
lawyers cool acceptance of the GOLD;
but he consoled himself with the idea.
that if she would not be his bride, she
was at least fair game.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1858-05-05

We hear report of a piquant cor
respondent that had just passed be-
tween two clergyman in city where
a considerable awakening has taken
place. In substance the correspondence
ran as follows:
BAPTIST TO METHODIST CLERGYMAN.
Dear Brother-I sh Ill baptize some
converts tNmorroW; if any of your con
verts prefer to be baptized in cur mode
| shall be happy to baptize them, as
candidates for your church
METHODIST TO BAPTIST CLERGYMAN.
Dear Brother-You received. I
prefer to wash my own sfeep.-Spring-
field Mass. Rep.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1858-05-05
For the Reporter.
Letters from the South.-No. 6.

LaGrange, Tenn, Mar. 90, 1853.
| left Memphis this morning at 6
O'Clock for LaGrange-a town on the
Memphis & Charleston Railroad, forty
miles from the former place. LAGRANGE
is a finely-situated, inland town of about
one thousand inhabitants. The coun-
try through which we passed is very
fine, consisting mainly Of cotton planta-
tions. Here ! saw for the first time
cotton stalks, but of last years growth.
They stand in straight rows or drills
about four feet apart, and the old stalks
are about three feet high. They do
not clear their land here, but simply
take off the underground, and girdle
the large trees, so that the fields are
thickly studded with dead trees and
stubs, mostly oak, the roots running so
deep in the light, loamy soil, as not to
interfere with the plow. The whole
country-plantations, fences, buildings
and general mprovements-mos plain
ly bear the marks of the bane and curse
OF this country-slavery and unpaid la
Dor. Everything looks as though they
tried to see how little they could do
and make it answer the purpose-re-
minding one forcibly of Solomon's de-
scription of the field of the slothfu.
A disgraceful scene occurred at the
Moscow station, when the train stopped
there. A bloated, filthy specimen of
humanity, known here as slave catch
er and driver, came into the s'negro
car" and ordered out a well-dressed,
respeetable-looking negro, saying that
he had a right to arrest said negro as a
runaway. The negro insisted that he
had a pass from his master in Memphis
to go to IaGrange and back, at the
same time showing a paper which he
took from his pocket. The pirate only
damned the pass, and attempted to pull
the negro of. Failing in this, he tore
off the negro's cloak and, trampled it
in the mud; then pulling bottle OF
whiskey from his pocket, he hurled it
with all his force, hitting the negro fair
on the head, smashing the bottle and
scattering the contents over the crowd.
The negro never WINGED, but picked up
his cloak, called for Mass'r Sam (the
conductor) and showed him the pass
The conductor informed the crowd tha,
he had contracted to convex the negro
to LaGrange and back, and should dc
so, and that without doubt this man in.
tended to secure the negro and keer
him till advertised, then return him tc
his master and claim the feward lam
informed that the country is infested
with such characters. The negro seem.
ed very grateful for his escape, and
and clung to Mass'r Sam as his deliv.
erer. In my next will endeayor to
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1858-05-05

WAGGERY.-S0me time AGO, one
Sunday, we wended our way to one of
our churches and instead of sermon
heard an address upon some missiona-
ry or other benevolent subject. After
the address was concluded. two breth-
rem were sent around with the baskets
for contributions. Parson L, who
was one Of the basket bearers, taking
the side upon which he sat. Immedi-
etely IN our front and upon the next
seat negligently reclined our friend Bill
H, gentleman of infinite humor
and full of dry jokes. Parson L
extended the basket and Bill slowly
shook his head.
"Come, William, give us something y
said the Parson.
''Can't do it, )" replied Bill.
''Why not? Is not the cause a good
one?''
eyes; but I am not able to give any
thing"
''Poh! Poh! know better YOU must
give better reason than that
"iNell, | owe too much money!
must be just before am generous, you
know"
s'Bnt, William, you owe God a larger
debt than you owe any one else"
"That's true, parson, but then he uin't
pushi,sg me like the balance Of ,aay cred
it0ys.r'
The parsons face got into rather a
curious condition, and he passed oD.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1858-05-05
A New Way Of Ccurting.

About three months since a young
Parasian travelling in Germany, tool,
the road from Augsburg to Berlin. Ir
the car he selected there were four
other persons, two mammas and two
daughters, both very lovely. The two
mothers were face to face in one cor
ner, the young man took the opposite,
and found himself face to face with the
young ladies. The young man put on
a distraught and absent air. The Con-
ductor came to demand the tickets
The young man paid no attention at all,
when the request was many times re-
peated. Reused from his reverie in
presence of the ladies, the young man
had recourse to rnse to avoid excit-
ING ridicule.
'.Wh hat are you slying?" said he
wv by do you not speak French? l
know not a word of German
The conductor then explained by
signs-the ticket was changed. and the
young man returned to his reverie.-
But not to enjoy it long, for this time
the young ladies aroused him. They
began in full voice:
''This young man is very handsome" :"
said one.
''Hist, Bertha!" said the other, with
sort Of alright.
"Why, he doesn't know q word of
German. We can talk freely. How
do YOU find him?o
"Only ordinary"
"l on are difficult. He has charm
ing figure, and . distingue air"
Gle is too pale, and, besides, you
know [ do not love dark
'And you know | prefer dark to
blonde. We have nothing but blondes
III Germany. 1t. IS monotonous and
common place"
''l on forget that you are a blonde"
ooh, for women it is different. He
has pretty moustaches.'
''Bertha, if your mother should hear
you?"
''She is busy with her talk, besides
it's no hurt to speak Of moustaches.'
Il prefer the blonde moustaches Of
Frederick"
Il understand that; Frederick is es-
poused to You; but |, who am without
a lover, am free to exercise my opin-
ions; and I am free to say that this
young man has beautiful eyes"
''Ihey have no expression"
''Yo ou do not know: am sure he has
much spirit, and it is a pity he does
not speak German, he would chat with
us"
''W ould you marry a Frenchman?"
"Why not, if he looks like this one,
and was spirited, well born and amia-
bic? But | can hardly keep from
laughing. See, he doesn't mistrust
what we are saying"
The young traveller was endowed
with a great power Of self-control and
he had preserved his absent and mat
tentive air all the time, and while the
dialogue continued, he thought how GU
rlously his attempt to avert a laugh, by
pretending not to know German, had
resulted. He looked carefully at Ber-
tha, and his resolution was taken. At
a new station, the conductor came
again for the tickets. Our young man
with extra elaboration, and in excellent
German, said:
"Ah, you want my ticket. Very
well; let me see-I believe it is in nv
port-monnaie. Oh, yes, here it is.''.
The effect Of the coup-de-t -theater was
startling. Bertha nearly tainted away,
but soon recovered under the polite
apologies Of the young Frenchman.-
They were pleased with each other, and
in few weeks Bertha ratified her
good opinion Of the young man, and her
Willingness to marry a Frenchman.-
They lived at Hamburg.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1858-05-05
From the Fond du Lac Journal.
The Dying Girl.
BY LILLE LIGHTHEA ART.

l had a glorious vision,
Last night, my mother dear,
| saw a white-robed angel band,
From the celestial sphere;
Their wings, like FURNISHED silver,
Were glistening in the rays
Of the radiant light of Heaven
Which around them ever stays.
And 0, such rapturous music
As did my soul entrance,
Increasing in its melody,
AS the angel choir advanced.
And in that bright, angelic throng
saw the form of one
Who was dearer far to me than life,
Ere the angels called him home.
He told me of the spirit-land,
Where parting never comes,
Of peace and harmony divine,
In that celestial home.
He earnestly implored me
To leave this world of woe;
/ tried to soar away with him,
But 0, could not go,
And then thought Of you, mother,
And all your love for me,
And bade him wait little while,
And leave me here with thee
But [ cannot tarry long with you,
| know | soon must go,
And be parted for awhile, mother,
From those | love below.
The jassamine and wood-bine
Are twining round the bowers,
The ambient air is laden
With the odor of the flowers;
The birds are singing joyously
Upon the leafy spray;
1t was just the same, dear mother,
When his spirit passed away.
When placed the creeping myrtle,
Ard roses round his tomb,
little thought me, mother,
That | should die so soon.
'Tis hard to part with those we love,
But he has gone before,
And we soon shall meet in Heaven,
Where we shall part no more.
Mother, | must be dying
| cannot see you now,
Press one more kiss of love, mother.
Upon my ice cold brow;
hear an angel calling me,
know it must be him,
The air is filed with music,
can hear the angels sing,
And now see the shining band
That came to me last night,
But | cannot see you, mother,
Though the room is full of light;
But voice | love so much to hear
Whispers that all is well;
am going home to Heaven
My mother dear, farewell!
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1858-05-05


% Dir. Brandytody's three reasons
for not drinking, are very characters
tic Of that gentleman:
"Take something to drink" said his
friend to him one day.
''No, thank you," replied Mr.. B.
'sNo! why not?' inquired his friend
in great amazement.
s'In the first place." returned Mr.
Brandytoddy, "I am Secretary Of a
Temperance Society that is to meet to
day and I must preserve my temper
ance character. In the second place,
this is the anniversary of my father
death, and out ofrespect for him / have
promised never to drink on this day
And, in the third place, have just ia
ken something"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1858-05-05

- Advice, says Colridge, is like
snow-the softer it falls the longer it
dwells upon, and the deeper it sinks in
to the mind.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1858-05-05
J. w. Is. WELCOME,
Eclectic Physician and Surgeon.

81 ~ ENC i UINI I, I UNI ITO y w, W 1'-'
References:
j. MnLEr, NJ. D., Norway, Maine.
G. w. CARLTON, NJ. D., Bangor City.
j. S. SrInMAN, NJ D.. Poland. Maine.
WM. You've, NJ. D.. Portland, Maine.
john KING, NJ. D.
Professor of Obstetrics and the Diseases of Wo-
men and Children, in the Cincinnati Eclectic
Medical Institute, formerly Professor of Materia
Medica, Therapeutics and Medical Jurisprudence
in The Memphis Institute. l4-1y
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1858-05-05
Terms-Two Dollars a-year, in advance
RATES OF ADVERTISING.

IA II . r a Nv Il IL 1919 u.
Twelve lines or less is Square.)
One Square three insertions, 81 so
One Square three months, 5 90
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One fourth column .hree months, 6 90
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OBITUARY NOTICES per advertising rates.
CARDS in Business Directory, not exceeding
six lines, s. per year
EsrRAY NOTICES, 81, 50 for one animal, and 25
cents for each additional one-paid in advance.
TRANSIENT ADVERTISING payable in advance.
LEGAL ADVERTISEMENTS paid for when atiida-
wits are given.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1858-05-05
THE WOOD COUNTY REPORTER.
E FCBLlsHED EE EK1 WEDNESDAY,, AT
Grand Rapids. WOGd Co., Wis.

JOHN n. BRUNDAGE, EDITOR AND PUBLISHER
L. M HAlNES, CoREEsPoNDING EDITOR.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1858-05-05
RATES or JOB WORK.

RATES or JOB WORK.
Full l-Sheet Posters first hundred, Sc 90
Each subsequent hundred, 90
Half Sheet Posters first hundred 90
Each subsequent hundred, 90
Quarter Sheet Posters, first hundred, 80
Each subsequent hundred, | 90
Eighth Sheet Posters first hundred, 90
Each subsequent hundred, IS
Ball Tickets, according to quality, first
hundred, 50 to 50 90
No Jobs issued from the office until paid for
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1858-05-05

-"Mr. President" said a member
of a school committee, out west, II rise
to get up, and am not backward to
come forward in the course Of educa-
ton. Had it not been for education,
might have been as ignorant as your
self, Mr.. President"
Baltimore Wecker. [volume] (Baltimore [Md.]) 1851-1867, 1858-08-27
2eirenbe Ieietl
- Nbila0eIpbta WIeSi5tnifbe8 GauS,

Nbtla0eIpbtn WGeDt5t1t1cDe0 S0duOI
erri9tet Dor apet unD 5man5t9 Sabren onrd
DIR. Kinkelin,
Ode Der Eritten unb IntDn.Stra6e, PHILADELPHIA
3me unb 5man5t9 Sabre
Grfnbruna Bat Or. Rtateltu gu einsrn Der erfpleret6fen Nerstt
tn Der Sur Sn alien 8~tanfbstter fppbtltttlaer unb eebetme'
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entfeben seutn6t. H
gSebnt tesDnbere Nott3.
2 Gs III cine fble @cwpbntett, Der fh ;uwetlen BITE Rnaber
In br @in1amteit %erseben, bic nit thhen . + bis su tbrer WtaHn'
bartlett aufr66f,u nS ipelGe, penn Mot tn 8ebSrt8er 3ett 40.
ssslest, ntat nnr srnfltds 2inOsrntHs 1ss2arruIt iDnesra a au1
unb Oerbeerenben 2eibeni6Gftea etebt.
gDentee S0n Steien, bic It'd Stefer perSerSlt6en @ehStnbet
ereeben hnnen bic tranrteen GCl8en bappn, bis tie ba9 ner'
sole G9ferE isrruttet Fueen, tEemoe nns nltertlarbare Iutrs'
sans unb SemIths5aaeistsi fIplsn: Steas Petite q. %, 2s
Der uneIudlide fG %eneeertnsh ntro fGW6Gls@, unfahte
tim NIT %eewCbnter ~9fhftsfstt an bic Mrbett 8u eeben pber fG
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felt, stann seStRsnbaft auf feline G9re, ais etn 8teberutan
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ben, isins WO9nuns If lett ben lesten swansie 3obren an BE-
R..QD' Ode BON Der Drttten unO HntOnfr., swifaen Sprac
unb Pine, philadelphia, ga.
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unb 70 etpdft UNI S4aoea ub Seusierbe su perbIten, aber
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2eIe! Su9enb uno Munnbarfett!
Gtn traftbDleS 9eben DSer Elm friib3eiti0er Gob
6tnteltn iber SelbEerbaltune = muir % GsntS.
Brtefe, hel6e fenen gBe to tn St1npS eutbQlteu. RerbP
NIT I'm etenbtr 9pf NIT etuent &rentpIar Serfaert.
N6rsl8 IL