The Kansas herald of freedom., 1858-09-11

are now pOIltlcaiiy oeau, ueiuncts iald out
and gone under, no one can doubt, for
Tiacler has said so. That in the two or
three letters you have recently published
you have done a very foolish thing, and
cut your own throat. must now be evident
to even your apprehension. Talk about
running for the position of "a man.
How supremely ridiculous. You may
have but few, if any, competitors; but
kind sir, you will find it an Office without
emolument, and but little patronized, even
if it be known in Kansas at all. You,
perhaps, have adopted the old idea that
'the more you kick dog the better he
will like you," and hence you have dealt
your blows right and left, asking no favors
of any one, until you have every cur in
the Territory barking bitterly and snap
ping at your heels. Now this may be
very well, in your own estimation, for it
shown independence, and disposition to
do whatever you believe to be right, with
out regard to what effecti it may have upon
you personally. But, Governor, this is
not the easier way to manage even the
canine species, saying nothing of that
species of animal imagined by some to be
human" Let me suggest a course which
has been found entirely successful with
both species. With the whiffet ours,
drop them crunsb; always carry your
pockets full, and when they commence
whining, scatter your favors or crumbs right
and left. Should some surly cur still be
inclined to growl, fill horn with butter,
toss it to him, it costs but little, and you
will quiet him for week.
With the other species pursue a similar
treatment If you have no political
crumbs to scatter, promise them some
Promises cost nothing and with them you
may quiet hundreds. Promise, no mat
ter what. Find what one wants, and
promise him that. No matter how many
you promise the same thing to; if they don't
get it, promise something else. Get the
idea out that no one in Kansas can gel
anything without your patronizing infu
ence; that your smile is life, your .froaun
death; that all we are, or all we eve
expect to be, we are indebted to you for
Get yourself elected to some Office, say
Major General of the Kansas Militia
No matter if the Organic Act does desig
nate some other person, nominally yo1
have the position; use your position ant
commence appointing and commissioning
Commission half dozen Surgeon Gen
erals, at least one hundred Adjutant Gen
erals, and Corporals and Captains withou
number. Give every man who will stan'
by, and swear by you, a commission; N
matter how many you commission
for the same Office, your Militia will neve
be called out, and no one will know tn
difference. Their commissions can
treasured up as family relics, and wi
show posterity that Mr.. SO and so was i
your Army Of defence" Nominate your
self for United States Senator, hold mid
t night consultations with your friends
show them the advantages of the position
impress them with the belief that yo
, will control the appointing power, an
, that the half dozen Government Officer
: for Kansas will be atyour disposal. Mas
!, nifty them into hundreds, and promise on
5 to every body. My word for it, Governo
, it will work like charm. If elected
? your object is accomplished; if not, {
d course you cannot be expected to Civ
} every body Office.
d You talk about Railroads and publ
n Improvements, lands for Railroads, &
r Nonsense. The people will say your Ian
{. only is to increase in value, and yor
y family only will be allowed to ride b
II steam. Better talk about the Presiden
Expatiate upon the advantages of electir
II a citizen of Kansas to the President
a chair; tell them that every man, woms
r, and child, black and white, in Kans
l. could then have an office; tell them ho
d friendly YOU FEEL TO every body; pror
NJ ise one the Secretaryship, in fact fill yo
is entire Cabinet hundred times over
o Kansas; send one to Russia, another
rs England, appoint this one for that static
IS that one for this, and so on, "ad in f
If itunl," praise everything, if necessary,
is hundred times ouer. Set the ball rollir
IS and who knows but it may sweep ev
ot you into the Presidential chair.
SO Be candidate for every thing. Sti
70 your nose in everywhere, and have
l. particular place of residence. If t
Is people wont swallow you in one place,
D. to another; nothing like "two strings
% ones bow" Follow Paul's advice,
rs all things to all men, in order to gain
es few" With Conservatives be conser,
tive, with Radicals be radical, with Al
er litionists "belong to the Abolition wi
# of the Free State party" with Radio
E. swear "that free State and pro- slave
e, men never can, and never shall live
BY Kansas together; with Conservatives, t,
ng about 'burying the hatchet, and living
ge peace and harmony" and swear "
IS majors and Colonels are acting witht
authority" with Pro-slavery men "try
all buy niggers." If not yet popular, c
in around you few characters of the ba
lot sort, 'swear them upon the holy Evi
gelist of Almighty God to do your