The star of the north. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, 1858-03-31
A RACE WITH A WIDOW,

| we go to She blushed, and said she did'n
like 10 say. told her she must say"
well Jehuel, if You insist upon it and
am to have my choice, had rather 60 tc
church,
What for, widder!o said I.
"oh, Jehuel how can you ask met"
"Cause want to know" said |.
"Well-(blushing redder than beef)-
it is such cold weather now, andthe night:
are awful cold, and-oh, Jehuel l cam
| stand it!n
ooh, pshaw, widder spit it out what dc
you mesn?"
The widow riled. She billed right ovel
like quart of mix on the fire and burst out
| with
If you can't understand me, you're q
heartless brute so you are"
Hold your horses p said +. What's all
this about? | am not brute, nor never
was, and if man called me that I'd boo
him sure"
And then billed right over, and unbutton.
ed my coat collar to keep me from Dustin
off my buttons. The widder saw was 60
ing TO explode, or else collapse my wind
| pipe, and she flung her arms around my
neck, put her lips TO mine, cooled righ
down.
"Jehuel, dear!" said she, in an insinua
| tim way, and voice as sweet as hand or.
gan, "Jehuel, honey want TO go to church
to get mar-no can't say it all, you finish
the word, Jehuel, sweet"
What word, marm?''
"oh you stupid Jehuel, dear, mean the
word marriage love-"
Married, widder !" said I, "did you
mean that?'
Indeed did, Jehucl, love ~
Look here marm, my name isn't Je
huel Love, nor Jehuel Dear, nor Jehue
Sweet. I'd have you know. And won't gel
married 10 nobody but one, and you are no
the She"
Oh, pewter pennies, but didn't she rave
| She made one dash at rue, lodged, ano
she went butt up against the upper end o
the omnibus. Crash went the comb, ant
smash went that bran new bonnet that
didn't buy for her, and down she went with
her face in the straw. But in a moment
she rose again, and made one more dasl
at me. Idrqrped-she went over ms and
butted the door Of the omnibus. The strap
broke and out she went-her gaiier boots
| higher than her head as she struck the
pavement.
"Drive on!i yelled TO the driver.
Woman overheard !" cried a passing
sailor.
Stop that White Coat-breach of prom
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS" shrek
ed the widow, in tones ofmoral agony while
| tears of blood streamed from her beautiful
pug nose. , .,.,. -, ., ,
"Where 10 :" asked the driver.
To the devil-to Harlem-to Macomb's
Dam-anywhere so that we escape matri
mony and the widder."
He started, so did the widder, and ther
we had it up the avenue, the bus having
the start of about hundred yards. Foot by
foot the widder gained. Thinks |, Jehuel
you are goner, thought it best to Tighten
ship. So first hove overheard the straw
Still she gained on me. Then overheard
went the cushions. But still she gained.
More team, driver, for mercy's sake
more team J" yelled.
"We are going faster than the law allow.
hour"
Jehosaphat how the widder run she
hove off her bonnet and camo up hand owe
hand. A thought struck me, and SO of
my coat and flung ii right down i'll he
path. She sprang on it like panther, ano
tore it to pieces. Oh how they flew.
wept to see it go, but lie is sweeter than &
coat, and my tailor is making me new one
Here we gained full two hundred yards, bu
on she came again. Once more could see
the green in her eyes-merciful Moses
how felt.
"Drive," said I, "kill them horses or gs
another mile out of them"
"Will you pay for them :" he said.
ayes, yes" said I, " only save me from
the widder."
By cracky we did slide the widder nc
longer gained, but held her own beautifully
Thus we had tout past the Red House
through Harem-where Capt. Graham at
tempted to catch us. he probably supposine
that we were running away with some bank
fund.
My only hope was reaching Degroot''
ahead of her, for knew they would hide
me. We were on the bridge, and, oh, Mo
ses, the draw was up, and sloop going
through. " Driver" said /, "iump tina
bridge and III make your fortune for life
sure as you're born.'
"I'll do it or die p he cried. And he die
it. The widder jumped after us, ieli into
the Harlem river, and hasn't been heard o