Smyrna times., 1858-05-27
MIS- CELLAN ECU S,
Epitaphs.


Epitaphs.
The grave yard ought to be a place where
none but sober and devOut sentiments should
find expression. The connecting link, as it
were, with the world of spirits, human caprice
should be put aside, the purer and better part
OF human nature allowed to dictate, and every
thing be done "decently and in ORDER" Yet
how often the very reverse is the case. There
is hardly graveyard in the world, probably,
that does not contain some whimsical epitaph
or memorial Of the dead, which shows that the
writer cared more for making IL pun. recording
a sarcastic distich, or perpctratiug a rhyme,
than tor expressing Il sentiment appropriate to
the place aud the occasion. Some people must
giYc nttCraEcC TO u luughable or incongruous
thought, even at the grave, while others make
themselves ridiculous by attempting literary
task beyon their powers. We find in House.
hoM Words a curious collection of specimens
of this sort Of churchyard literature. picked up
IN Various English cemeteries. The list is
! quite aplIy commenced with the following cyn-
cal Inscription written over gculleman's $ grave
IN tie church-yard Of Bcllington:
Poems and cpitdpn are but stuff,
Here lies Robert Barras, and that's enough"
The annexed is not only fippant but lud-
crCus.
Here lies the body Of Deborah Dent,
She kicked up her heels ard away she went"
The author Of the following displays ingc-
nuI'y IN securing rhyme for his memorial
''licre lies iyo broihors by his fortune surrounded
One Glcd OF his Wounds, and the plior was lrownLcd
Saint Aban's furnishes an original and strik-
ing idea IN tile way ofmortuary literature, e. q.
" Sacred to the memory of Miss Martha Groyn;
She was so very pure within,
She ourst the outward she'll of sin,
And hatchcd herself cherubm."
victim Of misplaced confidence, leaves
this warning in CheItcuham Cemctcry:
/" Here lies | and my three daughters,
kIlicd by drinking OF the Cheitenham waters;
II We had stuck to EPSON salts,
We'd rot been lying in these here vaults"
Here IS one Of the pathetic stamp, culed in
Wiltshire:
/" Beneath this stone his own dear child,
hose gone from we
Fer ever more into eternity;
Where do hope that we shall 90 to he
Bat him can never more come back to wc."
Pasquin might have written the following.
carved IN the tombstone Of ono Strange, law
yer:
Here lies an honest lawyer,
And that is Strange"
WAat could be more expressive than this:
"lle did not much harm,
Nor yet much good,
Ard might have been much
Better, If lie would"
If Orcvlty is wit, the anheA ed must be called
acttO
9 Here lies John Shore;
say no more;
He was alive
lu-Gj."
In Grantham church-ya yard one inscription
states something more than is quite necessary:
"John PatrCyman, who is buried here,
Was aged four and twenty year;
And near this place his mother lies
Likewise his father, when he dies"
The next is decidedly of a numerous cast:
Here lies |. There's an end TO my woes,
And my spirit at length at use is;
with the up OF my nose,
Aud the tops OF my toes,
Turned up to the roots OF the daisies"
A Mrs. Shoven, Il cook, was honored with
two stanzas, or, as she might have called them
herself, ii couple of courses:
Underneath this crust
L!cs the moudcrlug dust
Of Eleanor Bttchcor Shoven,
Well-versed in the arts
OF pies, custards and tarts,
And the lucrative trade of the oven.
When she'd lived long enough,
She made her last puff,
a puff by her husband much paised;
And now she doth lie
And make a dirt pie,
in hopes that her crust may be raised"
A reward was once offered for the best cpl
taph upon celebrated provost of Bundcc. The
twon council were unable TO decide between
the relative merits of the two which follow,
and both were therefore placed on the monu-
meat:
Here lies John, Provost of Dundee,
Here lies Him, here lies Ile."
The second ran even still more remarkable
"IIere lies John, Provost Of Dundee,
lallclujah, Iiallelujce."
TEE OPPOSITION PARTY.-We noticed re.
Gently circular issued by all the American
and Republican members Of the New Jersey
legislature, calling for united movement OF
the opposition in the next canvass in that State.
similar call has been issued at Buffalo, sign
ed by the leading Republicans and Americans