Nashville patriot. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1858-1860, 1858-06-11

These things have passed upon their mournful way,
Like the wild wind, and like the shadows grey.
Suzanne was not sixteen, and was barely
nineteen, when we first met She was the
daughter, the only child, of II poor Protestant
pastor near La Rochelle. one of the chief and
Oldest strongholds of the French Reformed
Church.
/ At that time I was about as wild a scape-
grace as you would see in any place l could
name at this moment. l had been expelled
from school for heading an instruction against
the proper authorities had got into endless
scrapes in every position in which nay poor
father had tried to establish me had finished
when | was eighteen by throwing of all res
traint crossing the water, and with a KNAPP
sack on my back, starting On a pedestrian
tour through some of the French provinces,
not with any definite aim or object, or in pur-
suance of any settled plan, but to exercise my
usuIped liberty, and to get rid of some of the
saperfuous life that would not let me rest.
! OF adventures had plenty; but the relation
of these is little TO the point now. AT La RO-
chelle, chance, as | called il then, threw Su-
zanne in my way. Whether she was beauti-
| full or not. l hardly know. She was utterly
| unlike any one | ever saw before or since-a
little thing with pair of eyes that prevented
| your seeing anything else when they were be-
| fore yOu-a pair of eyes which, like those OF
| corn bigger q think they were two barleycOrn
bigger (than anybody else's eyes in the world;
but which loved you and repulsed you, and
! pitied and scOrned you, and made you wild
| with delight, and desperate with despair,
| twenty times day.
From the first time saw her, pursued her,
without ceasing and we often met by those
| accidents that occur when two people do their
| best 10 aid fate in her arrangements. At the
% tI,n saffa full Inf
roses. and lilies, and jessamines and all sorts
of beautiful old fashioned flowers that grow
! everywhere you may plant them that can no
more get common or worthless for all their
bOunteous blooming. than if they required to
be watered with champagne. Beyond the gar
den is what is called chataigeraie; "A little
wood carpeted with close turf moss and wild
flowers. overshadowed with magnificent ches
nut trees, each of which might form study
for landscape painter. Only pailing and
a wicket separated the garden and the wood,
and, the latter being unenclOsed any one had
right to wander there at villa privilege
of which the peasants in the neighborhOod,
having other means of employing their time,
seldom awaited themselves and it was, eX
cept at the chestnut gathering, generally de-
serted.
So there I used to repair in the glowing
July days, with a sketch-book to look bust
ness like; and lying on the grass, or leaning
against tree, myself half hidden, watch for
Suzanne. How it is all before me now-be-
fore me now, and in me, and about me
Good heaven, how clearly-after all these
years
The broad rugged trunks of the trees the
sunlight streaming with a soft, green light
through the leaves the warm, ripe, still heat
that quivered before my half closed eyes
and there, there, there beyond through a mar
row vista, an opening, as il were, in heaven,
in the guise of "a little bit of the pastors gar
den blazing in sunshi,a~ "..I ao-~~Is. On lille
my eyes would fix till the angel should come
to give it a holier light. Sometimes / waited
through the long hours in vain sometimes |
saw her pass and repass, coming and going
like alternate sun and shadows as the place
seemed frightened or darkened with her pre-
senCe and departure. Then. how my heart
beat; how | watched. how | listened did
she wish to come? did she wish to come =
was it timidity or Indifference that prevented
her turning her steps this way? Useless She
would not come to-day and, cross and sick
at heart, left the wood. and wandered home
ward to mine inn-the bare hot chambers of
which, with the old fumes of bad, stale tobac-
co, were little calculated to sOothe the nerves
that had been stung and frettCd and ruflled in
the green, cool perfumed chestnut wood.
Next day all would be joy and hope again.
Back once more to the sylvan temple, where
hoped to meet the shy goddess. An hour
two-would pass, and then she f1oated to and
fro across that bit OF sunshine, gathering a
flower here tying one up there watering,
trimming, dipping further on wondering, rs
she has since told me, and as | little guessed
| then, if | were there in the wood watching her.
| Presently, with basket on her arm she would
turn into the shady walk. nearer and nearer
| came her footstep fuller and fuller throbbed
my heart then, with her hand on the wicket,
| H. 11lg
would she go back and at that thought my
soul so yearned for her, that it seemed the in
| fuence must act to draw her towards me !;
and sometimes almost thought il did so; as,
opening the gate. She stepped into the wood !;
and slowly, with downcast eyes, roved to and
fro, in search, as | believed, of the yellow
mushrooms that grew in the chestnut woods
in France.
A few moments more, and we were to-
gether, she still pursuing her search, though
many a mushroom was passed, many another
trodden on; l. pacing by her side, speaking
low and at intervals, while she sometimes
answered without looking up. sometimes gave
me a glance of miraculous eyes in lieu of
other answers till at last, youth and love,
and solitude encouraging the hand that at
first dared no to touch hers. wound round her
waist, the lips that trcmbled to pronounce
her name, pressed hers unlorbidden.
And now. shall tell the truth "a truth
that many and many "a time since has not only
stung me with remorse, but with the thought
that perhaps. Well. well that may or
may not have been. But To my coufession;-
Young rs | was Suzanne was not the first
woman fincicd loved, and though the feel
ing had for her was widely different from
that with which / had regarded Others, still it
was not then pure, and deep, and fervent a. 1t
ought to have been. At first, much as loved
ner, much as l d ssired TO obtain her love,
had no thought of absolutely uniting my des-
tiny 10 hers | had no idea of marriage.
contented myself with letting things run their
course, whatever they might lead to with
taking no thought, and making no engagement
for the future.
became things of daily occurrence; and we
needed no subtrrfuges Of sketch book and
mushroom baskets 10 color them. Sweet,
pure darling Suzanne Who. in her position
at her age, could have withstood the dangers
OF the situation n she did She loved me
with eli the depth and warmth of profound
and passionate nature; yet in the midst OF
her abandon, there was u purity, starting,
instructive shyness-a turning of the flank of
danger, as il were, while appearing uucon-
scious of its yicinity-that at once captivated
and repealed me. Aud days drew on 10 weeks,
aud still our relative positions remained I'M
altered.
One day we were In the chat generate to-
gether, strolling side by side; her hand in
mine. when the unusual sound of footsteps
rustling mid the last years leaves, startled
u.s. We turned round NJ u little distance
behind her father.
lie was u man still in the prime Of life. But
indifferent health, and "A ceasrless activity In
the arduoas duties of bis calling, gave to his
spare figure and line face, worn aud prema-
turely aged look. | shall never forget him,
as after moments pause he advanced aud
confronted the veins in bis bare temples
swollen and throbbng with the emotion be
sought TO control. his lace pale and rigid, aud
his lips compressed.
There was a dead silence for some seconds.
Then his kindling eye flashed on his daughter.
aud D Uniting to the honse. he said in a low,
l..