Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1858-11-27
W3g IND EU2g03.

"Is il possible, miss, that you DO not
,now the name OF some OF your best
riends 20 "Certsnly do not even
snow what my own may be year from
low."
A druggist sent his Irish porter into
Iarkened cellar soon after hearing
loise, lie went 10 the opening and called
out:
"Patrick, kri sor- Eyes skinned"
"Och devzr2--sye, roared Pat, "but
rs my nose that sklnt enllreI y"
A lady was taken by surprise in Mis-
,issippi, The oihsr day. Al least We
Judge so from the fact lhat John b. SUI
prise was married TO Salle A. Stocks
fancy Stocks" we presume. They will
probably have lille "surprises" occa-
sonally.
THE FASHIONABLE LADy's PRAYER.
"Give US this day our daily Bread"
And pies and cakes besides,
To load the stomach, pain the head,
And if too soon a friend decays,
Or dies in agony ..s.a.
Wen talk of Gods mysterious ways,
And lay il all 10 thee.
Give us big bustles in the rear,
We ask il not in iun,) .....r
A thing for cOrn.6eld crows 10 fear,
And hens TO roOst upon.
And if we hea, the hips and spine,
Wha, matter should il be !
When sickness follows we can whine,
And lay II all to lhee.
An anxious mother in Matte thus writes
TO her son IN California i
My dear son-Come home. A rol.
ling stones never gathers no moss. Your
aflectinnare mother. suF
To which Young America, with equal
laConism replies ,,l
My dear morher-Come here. A set
ting hen never gets fat. Your affection
ate son.
REFINED, VERy,-One Of our ex-
changes says a beaulIfn' damsel being
asied 10 walrz by gentleman al ball in
one Of the large towns in New England,
replied. mo, rhsnk you, don't like TO
wallz il makes me puke.
"Come here sissy" said a young gen.
iIeman TO lilIe gTl TO whose sister he
was paying bis addresses; you are tho
sweetest thing on earth" mo | ain't,"
: he rerl ed: sister says you are The swee-
est. Tie gentleman popped the ques-
ton" next day.
How TO STOP a PAPER.-An editor
" ho has probably suffered some, tells
penple how 10 stop paper. lie says:
"CaII al the Office and fork up arrcara-
ges and order it 10 be stopped like man,
md not refuse 10 take tout Of the post Of
ice, and sneak away like puppy
GERMANIc DrEr-A boy at school, in
lie Wcsl, whcn c,Iled to recile lis lesson
n history. was asked, what is The Ger
manic Diet!
Sour kroul,schnaPps,and lager beer"
vas HE reply.
"WeIl, Ahck. how's your brother Ike
,eiting on these rires ~
"Oh, 6rsl rate. Got start in Tie
,orIG-mauied widow with nine chill.
rem" a preuy sIzea.'Ie Start that.
IL cant see how you can sil and eai
yhile your wife is go sick" Why, ny
esr fellow, il IS ncl, that love my VIE
ess, but that love pancakes more"
An exchange gives The following as a
ovefeign remedy Tor dyspepsia. II any
yspepuc individual should give II a rial,
vould be greatly obliged for statement
{ lis experiences
Close oil Tie outer doors nf four
tory house, open Ihe inner doors, lbcn
axe a switch and chase the cal up and
OW siaiTs lIll she sweals."
A friend just from The famous "Arno-
took Valley tells u, a. = .'ssTIin faciv
lai as man vas waking sirng 10 .
I"GghlIuI mood. cUcpmher vine ,eare
base 10 hIm. ran up ID" lsg and into fis
ocker. TIE man ~ gtestieror lhru.l-
~ bis hand inin bis poekel To ,joct Ihe
nPudrnl intruder, drew Iorb-whsi a
pc cucumber Talk about The Westi
= all nonsense. "Fine growing coun-
y" that, Aroostook Valley
RLv. JoHN DowNrY.-A correspondent
( tie LyDchburg "RepDtlican," wiring
-om Slaunion of the lTal Of Rev. John
)owney, for murder, says: The Pris-
ncr was peTmilted 10 take q Walk 10 the