The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1858-02-13
Cumorous.
Hiss jerks has a ChiId's Party.
MR.. jerks GROWS INDIGNANT.


Mrs jerks, where is my night cap, ma am!
hone and trust that it hasn't been used for a
icliv. bag: but it wouldn't surprise me in the
least TO discover that il had, Mrs. jerks
Everything in the house has been put to sCfiic
such purnoSc, and for what let me ask you
for what? I'll tell you what for, Mrs jerks
that parcel of half grown boys and girls.
who ought to have their ears boxed, and be
sent to bed. might st monkey shines in our
parIors, contamlnate our children, and ruin
our furniture Mrs jerks If You never saw
a couple of old fools before, you see them
now. ma am. | do allulc to myself Mrs.
jerks but include you, for now we are in
the same box this time. ma am. In the name
of nonsense, Mrs. jerks. what was the house
tarned topsy.turvey in this manner for! III
Priscilla must give party to her scqualntan-
ccs, why couldn't they eat in the dining room.
as we do? Why must they take down mu
hcdstcad, and convert my sleeping apartment
into banquet hall, Mrs. jerks! Obhge me
me BY knocking down those testoons OF paper
roses from over where the washstand ought
to he they make me nervous, declare they
DO. Oh, dear me- here is pretty time to go
to bed on the floor, too, at our time ol HE :
| believe there is plan against my 'ile' /
sat down upon plate full of" blanc mango,
| or what ever you may call that paSty stun
Just now Do you know, Mrs. jerks, that
wher. was youngSter, the - Old folks, as
they call us, ma am would have kept the
parlo,s to themselves, and the chillred would
| have played in sthe kitchen! hats that
Won say, Mrs. Jenkse g certainly have no
objections to Pli,cilly receiving her friends
now and then ?'' =" Friends !" there it is
again. | wish some one would write a dc.
touary to suit the times. | need one; my
prcconceived notions of the meaning of word.
are all turned upside down There's not Q
day, nor an hour in the day, Mrs. jerks, thai
don't hear something about your friend :,
Miss that or Mrs that; and yet. by the Lord
ina 'am, don't see anything Of the commodi
tv used to dcnominate Friendship. .Ih'
fact is, Friendship has grown to be such ar
obsolete, old fashioned institution, that whe,
it does exist it is kept. like the shabby gen
teel relation Of n fashionable family. in tn
BACKGROUND, Mrs jerks; and knowing thi
to be the case, it is internally provoking to b
continually pCstcred by the name that stand
for nothing. No; don't mean to be pro
fame" Mrs. jerks but am aggravated. =
friend used to be some one who rcJoiced II
your prosperity and sympathized in your ad
versity, who took pot-luck with you, ant
liked YOU as well ir your old clothes as h
did in YOUR new But the new definition
appears to BE-, some one, generally female
who calls, dressed mail the q" lates. styles,
to show herself off. and find out what you
. yearly income is, and what you gave a var
for that last new dress. Who tells you wha
Mrs Smith said Of you, in order to make 90
c say something that she can retail to that lady
| Who is perpetually iostling you on the laddt
| of society for the upermoSt round; and vii
reioiceth in your tumbles theretron, even a
1 YOU do in hers. To whom you give gran
4 parties to show off your new silver and turn
lure, which make you miserable with dlscou
, fort and your guest with envy and Whlt
s she returns in kind the next time she has an
:. novelty to exhibit. Friends Mrs. Jenl
It there i. something, think must be cheeS
e plate Under the mattress Do you know Mr.
d jerks. who that tall little boy with the pa
IS green eyes is! Some one ought to tell h
y mother how he behaved. | heard him CO
n ve,sinc with my son jeremiah, and the ra
cal absolutely had the impuderce to call :
d" the governor" and his own father 1t
,t old man" O! that is young MIR. To'
h lnson, who is paying attention to Nj
~ Brown" is it? Very well, all I've got
4 say is, that next time see young MIR. Tol
&c linson inside of my door,II teach him W.T.
~ my name is. I'll not be called "governo
n,o for nothing. The basement was needed fol
4. smoking room, was it | know it was. y
), need not tell me ma am. thought the no,
~, was on fire, and looked upstairs and down,
A hnd where the smoke came from when
" last. opening the dining room door, ther!
m beheld dozen or 50 of little boys. seated
n. twice as many chairs with lighted cigars
tween their lips, choking and gasPing await
and our jeremiah in the midst of them, j.
finishing an account of some adventure
a other. of which caught these words, -
as at any rate, she is dooSed fine gal" Their
~ a specimen of young America, Mrs jerks
ed suppose that was "polka that
Mt, going on in the back parlor. wasn't it.
nd appeared like double shuttle invented
lad the purpose of wearing out the carpet
a S know that my toes were trod ON ana
ng breath completely knocked out oil my d
DIV before could get across the room, and
on' over couple of children who evidently
re, posed themselves to be flirting with e
icy ether on the sofa. | expected to see a r.
an mcnt of fathers and nursery maids m
'ou their appearance at the close of the per
=" nance to take the children home. But
such thing, Mrs. jerks; every young
among them marched off with something
90, shawl and riggoett, which he consdere
no lady, upon his arm. / wonder the policel
~ did not take them all to the station-ho
,ra- and keep them there till their parents ca
hot for them, Mrs jerks. The fact OF the ma
,at; is this, ma nm, there are no children lie
far for to call staggering impudent, cigar-su
he'd ing, watch wearing, cane-heurshng IN
Al like those " Boys" or be-founced, behooI
80 ' sjmnering objects, with their dresses swee