True American. [volume] (Steubenville [Ohio]) 1855-1861, 1858-09-01
A HUMOROUS SKETCH.
Matrimonial stratagem.
HOW TWO HOUSEHOLDS BECAME
ONE

HOW TWO HOUSEHOLDS BECAME
ONE.
Mrs. Benoni Benson was fat, fair and
torty-four. when her husband, soap boiler
in very good circumstances, was called
from his l'fe-task Of contributing to the
general publication of mankind. Mrs.
Benson took refuge from her grief in a
pretty cottage, situated on the principle
street in the town of c..
At first she was inconsolable, and she
used to say with solemn emphasis, which
carried conviction to the hearts of her
hearers, that nothing but the thoughts of
her daughter Florence would have preven-
ted her from terminating her existence by
the Intervention Of poison.
Mrs. Benson was in no small degree in
debted to her daughter--since in less than
three months, she threw aside her mourn
ing and became as lively as ever.
Touching Florence, she had now reach
ed the mature age Of nineteen, and began
to think herself marrugeable. She was
quite pretty, and tolerably we'll accomplish.
ed, so that her wishes in that respect were
very likely to be fulfilled.
Just over the way, lived Squire Mark.
ham, the village lawyer, just yergng on
fifty, with his son Charles, who was about
half usage. Being ayoung man Of agree.
able exterior, the latter was quite favor
lite with the young ladies in the neighbor.
hood, and considered in common parlance
quite a CATCH"
AS yet, however, his affections had not
been serious ly entangled, and might have
remained so, had 1t not been for the sud.
don apporiticn, one morning, Of Florence
Benson, riding on horseback.
1t struck him at once that she was re-
markably grScefdl and really pretty
Thereupon he cultivated her acquaintance
with increased assiG1lty, and after while
asked the fatal question.
Florence answered in the affirmative
and instead of referring him dutifully to
her mother, limited (being a romantic voting
LADY, how charming it would be to steal
away to the next town and get married,
without anybody being the wiser.
Charles Markham caught at this hint,
which chimed with his own temperament,
and he resolved to adopt it.
In order that it might be carried out
with perfect success, 1t was resolved to
seem Indifferent to each other until tho day
fixed. in order to ward off any suspicion
of what was going on.
Not SO with Squire Markham. He had
obtained clue to the affair in some man.
ner, 80 that he not only discovered the fact
of the elopement, but even the very day on
WHICH IL was 10 occur. .,
"Sly dog, that Charles" though he to
himself, as he sat down before the FIRE, in
his dressing gown and smoking cap, lois-
urely putting away at choice HAVANA
"But / don't wonder at 1t, he only takes
after me. Still, owe him something for
keeping 1t so secretly from me. 1t would
be good joke if i were little younger,
to cut him GU. and marry her in spite ol
him."
Squire Markham was one of those joviaI
wid0wers who take life as it comes,
mused more and more on this idea, stuck
out by chance as 1t were, till he really be.
gan to think it worth something,
"After I'LL" shouted he, " am not &C
old either, or at least the ladies cay So
and they ought to be good judges of sucf
matters. have been bachelor a goot
while, and ought to have found out before
this how much more comfortable IT woult
be to have pretty wife to welcome me
home, and do the honors of my table, ant
to help me keep that rascal Charles in or
der. Egad I've half q mind to do it."
Squire Markham took two more Whit
and exclaimed
"I vow Ill do it."
What this mysterious IT was, we will
leave the reader to infer from his very mex
movement. Ringing the bell, he inquire
ofthe servant:
" Is Charles at home I"
"No sir, he went out this morning, on
will be gone all day"
Humph, that win do. SO much tn
better for my purposes" thought he whe
alone. s4. ,tss-g "
"Now ] shall have the ground left I
myself. Let me see |; the rascal intend
running away next Thursday evening, an
to-day is Monday. Nothing is like str
king while the iron is hot. I'll write
her in his name, telling her that ha,
altered my mind and will go just al dal
tomorrow night. She won't suspect an