Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, Va. [W. Va.]) 1852-1859, 1858-07-12
a GRAPH1o sKETcH-
NozIs ADDUMs TO BILLY IvvrNs-xozls TELLS BILLY
OF A PRIVATE SCENE

NozIs ADDUNs TO BILLY IvvINs-Nozis TELLS BILLY
OF PRIVATE SCENE.
In the last number of the Southern Literary
Messenger, we End another of Mozis Albums
incompatible letters to Billy Twins, from WASH
ington city, from which we extract the follow
ing;
/ has sed thar is close resenblants between
Kongismen and human nacher is YOU tindit
ayin about ennywhar. To be kandid, Billy,
they is wun and the saim thing, identykil, wrep-
resentatives and menis Git jam up august urn,
you can't tell um apart to save 20 life yOuean't.
wuz struck with this remokabul fac freak
wently when has went into Honnerbul Mr..
Swomplansis room, and pompus and mo kun
seetid ole fool than ole SwomPlans nuvver had
pockits in a kote tail. Pusnally hees igzactly
ike Littleberry HuddIestun, igsept his he'd ar
ball. but his cacktur ar mixture NV Ganwy'S
Yawk and Bell. Now luther mite.
Thar wuz thar in ole Swomplans' room threeor
70 yung Konglsmnn, and bewchiful spesuins
they wuz Nuvyer in all my Dawn dais did
heer sech cussin an sTarrin aud tellin Nv jOaks.
They got to runnin wun nuther about thar rec
kOdS. You sea, Billy, SOOn's man gose into
poliitix everything he sails and duz is KEEP akUunt
Ov, and that akount is called reekod. So ef
pollytishun duz eiInything rong, his ennymis
goes to his reekod and pints out the fac, and
the very plais and time whar he dun it, and has
got to tell mo lies than anuf to get shet NV it
So when they wuz all tulkin bout this, yung
Mr. JoanS he ups and swO he had the damdis
mos hutyiull reekOd on erth Then yung Basin
rpt out and sed he wisht he may teetotally swept
intO-I kant use the word, Billy,-ef his rec
kOd warnt p'yO% and spUtliSS is the senter page
Nv the sacrid album NV virgins sole. Dit"
sails Joans, "howd you vote on the Kanzis-Ne-
hrasky bill9" "And cuss you diddin you rnak
u speech lass Summer in tavu NV distrbutin the
proseeds the pubic6 lans? You no bet
L IL.
plies Bosin. So they went rippin and cussin at
each luther tel Swomplans he spoke up and tole
um they wus compromiSn the dignity Nv Kon-
greShnul carrickter. what" sails lie, "wO0d
yo constitchyunts think eff they Good heer this
undigniide, profaue, and vilent OltercaShun?"
They both damd thar constitchyunts TO the
ole boy, and took drink. They wuz cumment-
sin at it agin, when lettil ole Melloo Stopt um
sayin NV: "Gentuen, you ar both equity CRATE,
and yO reekods equity immachulet, but liStin
to this" He red irum paper heed bin ritin,
which went on to say that telegraf dispatch
just reserved frum the CRATE DimmOkratic Con-
venShun, then settin (imadjnin the year ateen-
sicksty-ate) at Hayvanner in the Humid Nv Cuby,
| had anounst that eether the Rite Honmerbil
Sennytur Bob Joans, or Guvor Tom Bosin had
reeSeevGd the unanmus nomnashun fer Pressy
dint.
"Uv koas you'll be electid," sails Melloo,
whichever gifts it, and as things is gOin on wun
NV you will be boun to git, and now 1 wanter
know what you gointer doc for me, 20 ole and
yalyud fren aud intmit kumpanyuh?"
! Bosin speak iurSt. He sails:
| 81 shell pursurve the dignity Nv my stashin.
1 shell say, Mr.. Melloo, Pm not unminetuI Wv
! the past. recall the plesint hous Nv yuth,
when wuz frens togethnr, as Pm yose now.
But it to my kuntry and myself to make my
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. gloyOus, aud to that eend
| lnteu to sIekt for my cOnstitewshunul advisers,
and for the princepell Representatives NV the
wrepublick abroad, the very furst men in the
knashin. My long akwantunts with you will
not justify ne i'll ASSUMING emmy NV thease psichins
to Mr.. Melloo. Nevertheless you shell hay
poss Nv hOnnur and NV profit WhereupOn I'll
hand you 20 commisshin as consul to Livpool or
Peekin."
Then Joaus sed; ''You amt goin to hear no
such stuff is that frum me- Soon's you call on
me at the White HUus | am gointer say,
! Peter, Chat Melloos givin naim,) Peter, ole
Teller, how ar you. I'm id glad to see you.
Talk sect and set doun.' Then Iii send for
bottle Nv green ceal, and we'll both git is drunk
! is d.. (Biy, you mus igSkuse my kOting his
dreffle potannyty.) And beCo you go way, I'm
gointer say to you like Ole Buck sed to Forny,
talk whutevver you dam pleas And eff you
az smart like FOrny, and go in fur the pu6lick
printin, you shell hay it. I'm not goln to
| iuse you uuthin. It'll then be wurth about two
miyuns yeer, and eff you don't hay the tallcSt
kind Nv time you may take my hat Wen
/
doant inten to gut marrid, but IN 5uinter TO
hav all the pritty wimmin in the YunItid Stats
bodin at the White Hous free NV charge; and
we'll rip rite throO 70 spleneid yuers, certn an
sho He may talk about his adminnistrusliin,
but mine is gointer to leave behine it strcak
Nv gnwry long is tail Nv conick and brite is
flash NV litenin. That's SO. You may bet yu
life ON it. The way for man to maik his add.
ministrashin gowyus is to stan up to his frens
like ole Jacksin aud talk the responsibility
Twont do for a PresSydint to be SqueemiSh and
conshentshus. Conshents be d-dI Ole Bucks
tride that gain, an it doapt pay. Why the
- dornt lie buy up about forty Black Repub-
lickans and put Kanzis throus lie kin doc it
eesy enutf Peers wood NV dun it long ago"
Billy, thein's his very wurds. It's true he
war yung, both Joans and Bosin, but they ar
upun par with the balance, jest is smart and
smarter than wun hat NV um. And that's the
way crate men. Dimmocrats and ali, go on when
they ar by themselves talkin bout thar kuntry,
thar PresSydint, and the responsible duties NV
thar station like it warnt nuthin. Dount you
say a wurd about this, you heer. Eff uvver it
wuz to git out, kuntry wood be ruined. ruinatid.
Nuvver no members NV Kongiss wood cum heer
no mo. Hoo Good truss um aI(tur talkin in that
ar way9 Why peepil in the kuntry, when they