Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1858-02-11
How Tom Corwin rid his Sister #
an Obnoxious Lover.
BY A WESTERN MAN.


BY WESTERN MAN.
Every one has heard of the eloquent, pa
thetic and humorous stump orator OF Ohio.
He was pronounced by Mr. Clay "a most
competent authority to be the finest stump
speaker he had ever beard: and IN this opin-
ion most heartily coincide, after having
heard Clay, Crittenden, Jones. of Tennes-
sec, Polk, Benjamin. Soule, Randall, Hunt,
Tom Marshall, Gen. Lamar. Bates, Doug
las, and host of others.
Well, this great orator called his love of
fun into every department of life. In the
private circle, where he knew every person
and unbosomed himself fully, he was the
most delightful and genial conversationalist
ever listened to. do not know that he
now, as age and infirmity are creeping On,
indu lges his proclivity to humor so much as
he used to do. But some twenty years ago
he used to tell, with great gusto, the fol-
lowing story:
'In early ife-so early that | cannot re-
member the removal-ny father pulled up
stakes and carrying to him the house.
hold goods, went from Bouroon county,
Kentucky, where was BORN to Ohio. Not
wiIhstanding rough and tumble Struggle
with the world, he had a hard time to get
on, owing to a numerous and rapidly incrcas-
/ ing family. Well, family matters had not
much improved when | had reached my
thirteenth or fourteenth year.
| ''At this time there lived in the neigh
oorhood, young man named Pickering
| He had inherited well stocked farm, was
good looking, and made strong profession oI
religion. This latter qualification cnused
him to find peculiar favor 10 the eyes os my
father, who always was blinded by proies-
sions of extra piety.
sThis fellaw had strong hankering after
one of my sisters, who was q very pretty
sirl. To her he was peculiarly distasteful.
She seemed always excessively annoyed at
| his presence. Yet he was ever at her side
/ She dared not dismiss him entirely, sor fea'
OF The paternal anger. Things went on in
this way for year or two. and as partook
/ largely of my ister's hatred OF him, lie.
solved to get rid of him in some way. cast
I about for plan for setae tiaaa.- hut noIhiua
occurred that gave me the slightest hope ol
! success.
"At last return ing home late one summer
night from the mill, found the family al
their nightly devutions. Passing bv the
window of the room in which they were as
sembled, saw that Pickering was there
aad pretty soon discovered that he wa:
nodding, and finally his head dropped. Non
was my opportunity. sto'e silly into the
Hall, and reaching the hall door, which wa'
Slightly ajar, and close by which Pickering
was, .on bending knee | reached in AM
quickly pulling his chair from under him, Il,
rolled heavily, as a sound sleeper wonld
upon the hUor. The noise alarmed all. Tht
Cid gentleman stopped in the midst of hi:
position of Pickering. Al the fam.ii.
laughed outi ght even my mJther smiled
"Picker:ng endeavored to pick himse !ful
as rapidly as possible. but he had touche'
the old man upon his teEierest point. |
was evdcn:. from his rubbing his eyes, thai
I
, istralions; and had not my father ID reputa
ton far and wide for The fervency arr
strength OF his miristrations, and was no
Pickering his protesting brother! II was to-
much. Slowly yet most dignifedly did th
old man approach him. Be gone, hypo
! criter he cried in thunder tones, 'neve
enter my house again.
, Pickering was lhunderstruck. He fell
} that he could make no apology which woul
l not add to the insult. He had no suspcisr
of the exterior force which had aided him il
! his tail. He at once found his hat, took NJ
his line of march, and completely crestfaller
passed by NE as | stood grinning in tn
( shadow OF the porch.
"At a suitable time | entered, got m
, supper, was told by brother, in hurrie
5 viii spers, what had happened, and then
stole off TO bed, affecting ignorance an
laughing most heartily, as | enscoEce
h myself in tie sheets, at the complete SUE
r cess OF my plan.
"Next day cautiously impaired m
: secret to my interested sister. Sire was i
her own room at the time, and she thre'
: herself upon the bed and rolled in agesie
and commissions o! laughter. She had bee
r emaucipated forever from the attentions
an obnoxious lover. The old gentleman di
6 not hear the real state of the facts for iu
e twenty years afterwards; but when he di'
he laughed heartily"