Holmes County Republican. [volume] (Millersburg, Holmes County, Ohio) 1856-1865, 1858-09-02

rich and ''pulpy'as the one we published
few days since:
HE is MET BY FEMALE PH1LrsTINEs.
When closed my last letter, told Won
how ANONYMOUSLY I had been marked
"Little Mountain" at the Panesvine depot.
Thinking a whiskey punch would soothe
my exasperaled feelings, sailed out, after
carefully removing the chalk marks from
INV coat, and made tracks for saloon
l had not proceeded far before I perceived
that was followed by three ladies of mid
die age and highly respectable appearance,
who watched my movements very closely.
Wondering if they never saw fat man be-
fore, l was about to enter retreat for the
thirsty with view of putting myself on
the outside of punch properly iced, when
the three females of highly respectable ap-
pearance, simultaneously placed themselves
between me and the door. Startled out
of my usual politeuess, l bluntly demand
ed "what they wantedw They were q
committee from the Woman's Temperance
Association, and wished to inquire if 1
remembered the fate of certain casks of
brandy brought into their town few
months ago? stated blandly that did.
If my memory served me rightly, they
were severely bored. camly asked them
whether newly arrived strangers were usu-
ally submitted to the sane operation -
They rrade no reply; but one Of them took
a large roll of parchment from her pocket,
gave it dexterous shake, and disclosed .
list of resolutions, much longer than the
famous moral law, setting forth their opin-
ions on ginger beer, pop. cider, DC. conclu-
ding with pledge, which 1 was invited to
sign at once. | assured them I was Tenn
perance personifed. All liquors were my
aversion; but if there was one beverage
against which my bowels rebelled less than
another, it was the liquid known as "Bour-
bon," very old, ladies, and undisturbed by
the application of baser fluid.
Nv remarks aroused their indignation
greatly, and they took their departure, one
of them making motions diabolically sug-
gestive of gimblets, while another threw
out expressions from which I gathered that
il would afford her immense satisfactioBy
(sbe eyed my abdominal protuberance with
horrid signifcance,) to spill the contents
of certain whiskey-tub, she knew Of Al
though the threat was exceedingly vague,
vet it filled me with several underlined APP
prehensions; and foregoing my punch, 1
returned to the hotel resolved to leave that
town of gimblets and Temperance Com
mittees, as soon as possible.
Mrrrs u,rrrf n Ar TpnrrpIrc
l had no sooner entered the house than
I was accosted by deputation from the
Painesville Telegraph, who Immediately
stated that, seeing me registered from Buff
alo, they were anxious to entrust me with
very important document. It was NO
other than reinonstrance against the Black
Rock, dam drawn up by the Editor of the
Telegraph and signed by the most infuen-
tial men in Lake county. 1t was accom-
panied by an eloquent appeal to the citi-
zens of Buffalo to have the dam removed,
as to 1T alone they attribute the rise in the
waters of Lake Erie, Huron and Michigan,
the inundation of Carlo, and the unexarn-
pied spread of the summer complaint
among the towns poor.
They thought if presented it to Mayor
Lockwood it would carry an air Of sotidity
with it. Exasperated with Painesville COM
mittees, told them didn't care a d-n
about Black Rock Dam or tho towns poor,
and that had heard enough on the subject
of water for one day at least. a
STARTS FOR THE MOUNTAIN.
Ny greatest anxiety now was to get out
of town before night. for the connection
between brandy casks spilled Of their con-
tents, whiskey-tubs, my darling punch and
gimblets were becoming disagreeably obyi-
Gus. L called on livery man. Livery
man surveyed my dimentions, and said his
horses were all out. Cali again. 1 called
again and found him out. Further inves-
LEGATIONS resulted in my "fnding out" the
whole tribe of livery men to be consummate
promulgators of base fabricatons. l be-
came satisfied they were all in league with
the committees on boring, and that there
was a concerted movement keep me in
town over night. Determined to frustrats
their cruel designs, I gave orders to have
my baggage sent to Little Mountain, and
started on foot keeping a firm carriage
through town (the only vehicle l now could
keep,} to let the borersi kdow l still bore
up under their boring: L walked in the
direction of the mountain until sun-dowp,
when l stopped at a house, and was met
at the door by stout Irish woman, with a
very red face, who sharply demanded "Who
was We, and what doyou wantT smi-
E.l,, .,,,l;ad ssEat mani and facot;onolvr
added (the funny conceits wiu come over
ME at times) shave you any superAuous
aecumuations of oily substance to contrib
ute?" "Ifit's gathering soap grease you're
afther, fat, you've come to the wrong shan
tee, fur we billed it all up for soup at Pat
Ponly's wedding last wake" and she slam
med the door in my face. Finding jokes
were not appreciated on the road to Little
Mountain, | stopped at a farm house and
modestly requested something to eat. The
good woman of the house asked me if
would have yonny cake and common doin's,
or wheat bread and chicken ffxins,. Itold
her would first ''do" the commons doin's,
and then proceed to "fix" the chicken 6xin's.
After supper was immediately shown to
nv chamber, and was quickly in sound
sleep, at least you'd thought so BY the
sound made. / was filed with horrid
dreams all night. At one time l was
swiftly floating down towards Black Rock
dam on copy of the "Remonstranee,
and pasted all over with temperance pied
ges and resolutions; at another was roll,
ed down Little Mountain in an empty bran.
1