Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1858-12-24

~~4ttiie slrdipnt ones, Is IN the f0ll0Wlng Qla
logne between a highfalutin lawyer and a
plain witness:-aaA 70 asale e,n psstntahw~s6
T" Did the defendant knock the plaintiff
down with malice prepense ?" rs
4 No. sir; he knocked him down with a
fat-iron." ..... $1,000.
You misunderstood me, my feiend; !
want to know whether he attacked him
with any evil intent?"
30 no, sir; it was outside of the tent"
"No. no; / wish you to tell me whether
the attack was-at all a preconcerted affair }"
:. No, Sir; it was not a free concert affair
lit was a circus" a%AA etsb0
IMprovEMENT of TIME.-Pliny, in one
of his letters, where he gives an account
of the various methods he used to fill up
every vacancy of time, after several en-
Payments which he enumerates, Some
times" says he. g / hunt but even then,
carry with me a pocket-book, that whilst
my servants are busted in disposing the neN
and other matters, may be employed IN
something that may be useful to me in my
studies; and that if l miss of my game, /
may at least bring home some ofnmy
thoughts with me, and not have the mortifi-
cation of having caught nothing"
Many bright-eyed girl TO-
day, who works worsted and dances divine
ly, does not know that moss rose is first
cousin to French turnip, and the mangel
wurtzel a poor relation in the poppy family.
Flowers are not trhes, as one might know,
if he would only think how much pains
God has taken with them everywhere !;
not one unfinished; not one bearing the
marks of brush pencil. FringIng the
s,tern.l borders of mountain winters: craze
ing the pulseless breast of the old gray
granite !; everywhere they are humanizine
Wanderers do not ordinarily wear roses in
their button-holes. Villains seldom train
vines over cottage doors.-B r. Taylor.
his life Patrick Henry laid his hand on the
Bible, and said TO a friend, Here is a book |
worth more than all others yet it is nv
misfortune never to have read it with prop /
err attention until lately" William Pitt. /
when he came to die, said ~ fear that / /
have, like many others, neglected my re-
liglous duties too much to have any ground /
to hope that they can be efficacious on my
dearh-bed." sk&& @a -
A USEFUL HINT.-The difference be-
tween rising every morning at six and at
eight, in the course Of forty years. an, cunts
to 29,39 hours. or three years one hun
dred and twenty one days and sixteen hours.
which are equal TO eigh hours day for ex
actly ten wears; so1hat rising at six will
be the same as if ten wears of life were |.
added, wherein we may command eight
hours every day for the cultivation of onr
minds and the dispatch of business.
READERs.-Coleridge Classics readers
as follows
|. Sponges. who absorb all they read,
j nearly in the same state, only
little @i-d.
2. Sand glasses who retain nothing, and I
are content TO get through book for the il
sake of getting through the time.
3. Strain-bags, who retain merely the
dregs of what they read.
A. Moral diamonds, equally rare and
profitable, who profit by what they read.
and enable others to profit by it also Ne,c
Lectures on Shakespeare. r~,gowk
MAY it please your honor" said law
yer recently addressing one of the bench
81 brought the prisoner here on HABEAsl
CORPUS"
THAT'S a good one" said fellow who
stood in the rear of the court. in an under
tone, I'm blowed if / haint seen him
come here in a CAB. s9
Lovers, whose only desire is to take long
romantic walks beneath the moon, are not
long in discovering after marriage, thatthey 6
cannot subsist on moonshine. Ia
THE WRONG WoMAN.-A gallant mill =
tary Colonel Of New York took his wife
and a lady friend out to see parade and p
hear the music on Broadway at a late gala y y
day. In their progress it became necessa- fe
~ 10 cross that thoroughfare, never an easy
and now more perilous and J.
doubtful than ever. At last the Colonel b
espied an opening, and Selling Gas he sup 70
oosea) his lady around the waist. remark CO
ng there was no time to lose, ushered her
II 210 race across Broadway, and after
recurring his charge in place of safety, the
arr one, whose face proved to be as black
Us tar, returned the courtesy, by exclaim- :,
ng-
Tank ye, sir I! tank we, sir !" 50
The Colonel Immediately looked back TO I,
rs place of starting, where he discovered I
Ter. n'''n- "a "a
XII
In early Connecticut times farmer boy di
vas arrested for the monstrous offence of =
Us NJ couniry lass, at her fathers gate, to
N Sunday evening" He pleaded, as an an
xcnse % the officer. that he thought at the n p0
no nent- she was his cousin. "Jonathan.o J
'ys the maid. 8 if you want me, You mustn't me
~ to get out Of il THAT way i''~" All !.
ieht my dear. III stand it !; I'll agree to be
ocsed up Tor three days; but, when / get :
aek. l expect to have Patience !" To be
ure' and III be ready ?" returned the
Monsieur Ma'o. being employed on an :,
american work. came TO the moose DEER 81
I flew 10 his dictionary, but could not ~,
nd moase. but discovered mouse. he sare- to
concluded moose to be a misprint. and s ssa