Brookville American., 1858-08-13

kyOs kis
Gontetts Of tte &eIssors.
0.The bcst capital Cor Z you,r -
is capital young wifs.
m."My character, said an sldrms,
who had cleared himself from = char.
Of bribery, my character IL like nay
Doo,s-all tho brighter for bIaeking."
s~PhiIosorhers say that shussise
the eyes makes the sonse Of hssrinr
more acute.
A wag suggests that this accounts fsr
the many closed eyes seen In ourchnrch-
% on Sundays.
svThc ART Of spreading rumors b
compared to the art Of pin making.
rhere IL ssually some truth, whioh I.
the wire; ~ this p~sso6 ron hand -
hand, one gives H. . polish. sBoohw
a point, Others malrs aud pat O. he
bead. end z, laas ths pe e. shs ssnes)
s6rA little girl, ave ycsrs Of age. the
daughter Of gentleman on Broadway,
went out a few evenings ago 10 meet
iathcr the moon was shining bright 90
the time, aud after gazing at u q few
moments shc asked: PA, does God blow
outthe moon bcftru he goes to bedi'
ua- General jackson ouce said that
those who do business on borrowed can.
ital ought to break. The Boston Atlas
and Bee wonders what tho old hero.
were he alive, would say Of the present
Federal Administrations, which 70 doing
business on borrowed capital TO The
tune of forty millions year.
s0rA gentleman Of Boston, who bad
taken business view of things, whcn
recently asked respecting . person Of
quito q poetic temperament, replied
"Ol he IL one oil those men who have
soarings after the infinite, and divings
after the unfathomable, but who never
pay cash"
s~Whon q daughter remarks,
Mother, l would not hire help. for 4
can assist you 70 do all the work In tho
kitchen" set IL down that she will make
good wlfc. Sensible young men will
make note Of IL.
sa-"Well, now, Patrick, will you bo
aflher tellia us what's the time wild
vel"
This was asked by Tim Dclany, who
observed his friend Patrick sporting m
imaginary time-keeper, or rather Q
chain and bunch of show seals.
"Och, an sore I'd do IL with all the
pleasure in life," replied Pat, "only nv
watch is almost two days fast, an 90
Liz TO-"
Must 60 by starac, sure" said Tim.
"Faix, an you've just said II, boy"
SAID Pat.
ra-Old Master Browa brought his
ierrule down--his face was angry and
red HNow, Anthony Blair. 60 seat
yon there along with the girls, be ssid.
i'Thcn Anthony Blair, with a mortified
mir. and his chin down on his breast.
,rept slowly away, aud sat all day by
the girl that loved him best In all the
world.
na-A Frenchman, soliciting relief
said very grively 70 his fair hearer
"Maamselle, mo nevaire begs. but dat
mo have Won wife vid small familie dat
Is growing big very largo. aud nothing
TO mako their bread out of but do
grand pcrspiration Of my own eye.
brows."
ba- The late Rev. DR.. H, Of Now
Jersey, was eccentric. but always genial
and good humored in his oddities. One
dark, stormy night he was called away
from homo TO marry n couple. He went
reluctantly, performed the ceremony.
aud was leaving the house, when the
groomsman handed him TWO dollar bill.
The doctor looked at II, saw Q small
amount, and returning II, told him 70
keepit till 10 grew bigger. II grew tos
X In the course Of . week.
MA clergyman catochisinE the
youth Of bis parish, pat the 6rst
question in Heidleberg's Cxtachism TO
girl:
!, %whs. e yoar osly ssnsolasion IL
Tho poor girl smiled. and no doubt
felt vory queer, but gave no answer.
The priest insisted.
aWcll. then" said she, .if I must tell,
II is the little shoemaker that wears =
pea green jacket"
~ In Arkansas, when man desires
70 say that he would like to drink, hs
declares that II he bad glass Of whis-
ky. he would throw himself outside Of
il mighty quick.
p0-An old Datchman undertook 20
waIlop bis son. but Jake turned upon
him and wallopsd him. The old paa
consoled himself for his defeat, by re-
icing at bis sons manhood. He said:
Veil. Jake ish smart fellow. He con
vip his own taddy."
sa-An old Carolinian once said
II was born the last day in the year.
the last day in the month, the last day
Of tho week, very late in tho day. and
have always been behind hand. I
believe il would have been fifty dollsrs
in my pocket if ! had not been born -
all"
na-"will you never learn. my dear.
tho difference between real and en-
changcable valuc?" The qucstioo
was put to husband who had been lucky