Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1858-03-23
By W. D. WALLACE.
A RACE wIrH A WIDOW.

"euosopndt ana big onions, what a
time We bad with that widder. We chartered
an omnibus for two. on Christmas, and started.
"Wldder, said |, ''where shall we 90 to2" She
blushed, and said she didn't like to say. told
her she must say
We'll, Jehuel, if you insist upon it, and
sm to have my choice. ID rather go to church. I"
What for, widder!" said l.
"Oh, Jehue1, how can you ask me?'
Cause 1 want to know, said l.
Well blushing redder than beet it is such
cold weather now, and the nights are so awful
cold, and-Oh, Jehuel, can t stand it!''
"Oh, pshaw, widder, spit it out; what do you
mean"
The widder rilsd; she billed right over. like a
quart of milk on the fire, and burst out with
If you can understand me, you re u heart
less brute, so you are
= Hold your horses" said l. Whats all
this about I'm not a brute nor never WAS:
and if man called me that L d boot him, sure y
And then billed right over, and unbuttoned
my cor collar to keep ME from Dustin off my
buttons. The widder saw was going to eI-
plOde, or else collapse my windpipe. and she
dung her arms around my neck, put her lips to
mine, and cooled right down
''Jehuel, DEAR said she, in an insiniyatin'
way, and voice sweet rs a hand organ
"Jehuel, honey, 1 wanted to go to church to
get nar--no L can't say it all; you finish the
word Jehuel, sweet
"Oh, you stupid Jehuel dear, mean the
word married love"
e Married, widder," said /; '' did you mean
that2'
Indeed did, Jehuel, love,''
Look mere, marin, my name isn't Jehuel
Love, nor Jehuel Dear, nor Jehuel Sweet, I'd
have you to know; and won't get married TO
nobody but one, and you are not the she"
oh, pewter pennies, but ddn tshe rave She
made one dash at me, lodged. and she went
butt up against the upper end of the omnibus.
Crack went her CONT, and smash went that
bran new bonne that didn't buy for her, and
down she went with her face in the straw
But in a moment she rose again, and made one
more dash at me. L dropped-she went over
me and butted the door of the omnibus The
strap broke and out she went-her gaiter boots
higher than her head as she struck the pave
ment.
Drive on >" yelled to the driver
W oman overheard =" cried passing sailor
=" Stop that White COat-breach Of promise
rd-Herald-publish,'' shrisked the Wild
der, In tones of mortal agony, while tears Of
Hood streamed from her beautiful pug nose
- Drive on, drive On,'' shouted
9 Where to ~ asked the driver
- To the deyil-to Harlem-to Macombs
sm-anywhere, SO that We escape matrimony
and the widder.'
He started, 50 did the widder, and then we
Of about a hundred yards. Foot by foot the
Widder gained. Thinks L. Jehuel, you are a
gOner. L thought it best to Tighten ship. So
hrst hove overheard the straw
Still she gained on me. Then overheard
went the cushions. But still she gained
More steam driver, for mercy's sake :"
yelled.
I'VE are going faster than the law allows
now be answered. Thirteen miles an
hour"
Jehosophat, how the widder run she hove
OF her bonnet and came up hand over hand
thought struck me, aud so I of with my
white coat and aung it right down in her path
She sprang on il like a she panther, and tore 1t
10 pieces. Oh, how they dew. l wept to see it
20, but life is sweeter than a coat and my tai
lOr is making me a new one. Here we gained
full two hundred yards, but on she came again
once more could see the green in her eyes
mereiful Moses how felt
Driver, said |, kill them horses or get
another IL lie out of them"
. W Ill you pay for 'em t' he said
- Yes; yes, " said I, only save me from the
By crsekey, we did slide; the widow no
longer gained, but she held her own beautiful
ly. Thus VIC had it-Out past the Red House
through Harlem-where Capt. Graham, with
three mounted policemen in vain attempted to
catch US, lie probably supposing that we were
running away with some bank fund
My only hope was in reaching DegroOt's
ahead of her, for L knew they would hide me-
We were the bridge, and oh, Moses the
draw was up, and slOOp going through. "Dri-
yer, said |, jump that bridge and I'll make
your fortune for life. sure you re born
I'll do it or die. ~ he cried. And be did it.
The widder jumped after us, fell into the Har-
lem river, and hasn been heard of since
To-.