The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1858-03-27

frankDoss and eordiality IN the treatment Of
young men are entirely consistent With the
safety ~ any true woman from insult OF Of
fensiye familiarity, Is your father afraid 10
trust you out Of his sght9 am not III
were, ! would be ashamed 20 confess H.
particularly II you were daughter Of mine,
believe in you, aud believe, moreover.
that II this Internal idea that men are your
natural ener1ies and that you must cheat
Of the way, and free and unconstralned
social intercourse established between you
and them, they would bo much better, and
you altogether safer for IT, -
There is another subject, more or less init
matey associated with this, which may a.
well be treated here II Il very natural for
young women so get into the habit of treat
ing only those young men politely whom
they happen for various reasons, 20 fancy,
They "dont care" what the majority Of young
men think Of them, provided they retain the
good will Of their particular pets. They are
whimsical. and take on special and strong
likes or dislikes for the young whom they
meet One ia perfectly hateful" and another
Is "pericotly splendid" and 40 they proceed
TO make fools Of themselves over both parties,
Now there Is nothing upon which young
man il so sensitive as this matter Of being
treated with polite consideration by the young
women Of his acquaintance and know Of
nothing which viii tend more certainly 10
make young man hateful than 10 treat him
az II he we're so. There are a multitude Of
young men whose self respect IL uDriprcd,
whose hearts are warmed with genial fire, by
those consideratc reoognitions on the part Of
their female acquaintanees which assure them
that they have position In the esteem Of
those with whom they associate the sWe6ttSt
hopes Of happiness Of life. To be cut Cor no
easily healed.
The duty therefore, which | would incul-
cate is that Of systematic politcness. If you
know a young man, bow TO him when you
meet him. lie will not bow to YOU first for
he waits for your recognition. lie does not
know whether you esteem him of sufficient
value 10 be recognized. II you pass him
without recognition, YOU say to him in u
language which he feels with kccnncss
which you cannot measure, that YOU consider
him beneath your notice. You plant in his
heart Immediately prejudice against your
self, You disturb him. You hurt him, and
this, too, let me admit, very frequently with.
out design. You are sensitive yourself, and
arr nfruid he ,ss forgotten you. You think.
perhaps that he would not like to notice YOU,
and would not like to have you notice him.
There is a good deal Of this kind Of thing,
doubtless, but it is all wrong. There is no
man who will not return your bow, and feel
the better for your smiles and if the young
rrrr rvvtt~tt, -s+..l- A.-
his position in the world 10 win, and feels
+ tIut nc fIdS not rs many attractious prrsunui
or circumstantial, as others, YOU have made
his heart light, and awakened toward your
self feeling OF cordial good will, akin, in
many instances, to gratitude.
I Ayouug woman who is afraid Of fcompromis-
ing her position by recognizing men out of
her set, or out of a certain line OF gcntccl
occupations, shows by how frail tenure she
.
demonstrates herself to be a regular goose.
| could name TO YOU women who have not
only a recognized but commanding position
in the best society, who are as'uniformly and
Systematically polite to the clerk who sells
them silks, as to the pets of their circle who
have bow and n smile for all with whom
they have ever been thrown into personal
relations, and who, by this very pelitcness
more than by any other selfexprcssion, vindi.
cate their place among those whom society
calls ladies. There is kind word for them
in every young mans mouth and no young
man would ever think Of presuming upon
such politenesses FOR The indulgence OF an OF.
fensiyc familiarity. Such women have a
sacredness in his eyes that no other women
possess, and he would offend them in no way
for the world.
The advice l have given you in these mat
ters is partly for the benefit of your sex, and
partly for mine. believe that there should
= be far more rational mode of intercourse
d, between young men and Y6uGg women than
at present exists. believe that every
Legitimate attraction that your society has for
young men should be free and unconstrained
! believe that there is no good reason why a
young married woman should be more at
tractive to bachelor than yourselves, and
that in the degree in which they are more
attractive, do you wrong yourselves and the
young men of your acquaintance. believe
that it is well for you, and well for young
men. that they should be attracted to you by
frank behavior on your part, which will
place them at their case, and exercise upon
them all that good influence which a pure
strong, outspoken female nature is so well
calculated TO exert Young men and yonnr