Nebraska advertiser., 1858-04-01
Save the Pieces.

The man who was ''flled with emo
tion" hadn't room for his dinner.
Within thine own bosom are the sIars
for thy destiny.
Every man who lives or dies for hu-
manity, becames its savior.
Ii is not wisdom but ignorance which
teaches men presumption.
Genius may be sometimes arrogant,
but nothing Is so difident as knowl-
edge.
It is not best to strive so much to ap.
pear virtuous as tobe virtuous.
Human life is prOblem-to be solved
only in eternity.
It is trying duty TO speak plainly of
wrong which good men perpetrate.
Some wag defines fiction to mean squire
milk"
One of the most, unwelcome truths is
to show up wickedness in high places.
Hardships may be denominated the ma
tive soil of manhood and self-reliance.
The man who was "moved to tears"
complains of the dampness of the prem
ises, and wishes to move back.
"Jim, how does the thermometer stand
to-day2" "Why, ours stands upon the
mantle-piece, right against the plaster
ing"
The men who boast loudly that they
never show quarter, are certain, in times
of danger, to show nothing but their
hind ones.
A tailor who, in skating, fell through
the ice, declared that he would never
again leave a hot goose for cold duck.
The tobacco ehewer is said to be like a
goose in Dutch oven--always on the
spit. .
If a woman holds her tongue, it is
only from fear that she cannot "keep her
own"
He loves you better who strives to
make you good, than he who strives to
please you.
A dentist adyertises that he "spares no
pains" 10 render his operations satisfac-
tory,
We have seen a woman not only too
weak to eat food, but even too weak 10 bear
contradiction.
"Industry must prosper" as the man
said when holding the baby for his wife to
chop wood.
Nature is a great artist, when she is
left to herself to suit her means to her
end,
1t is neither great wealth nor high
station, which makes man happy-ma-
ny of the most wretched beings on earth
have both.
We are not astonished at any happiness
that drops into our lap, for we always
fancy we are deserving it
A modern tourist calls Niagara river
the"Pride of Rivers" That pride has a
tremendous fall.
A brawler in a workshop, fool in fine
clothes, and a slanderer are three things tc
be avoided,
Heaven is not reached by the rail, mol
hell escaped by respectability or sala.
mander safe.
A sailor, looking serious in a chapel
was asked by the minister, if he fel
any change. mo, not a cent" replied
Jack.
Some one commended Philip of Mace
don for drinking freely: THAT" said De
mothenes, sis good quality in sponge
not in king"
An Irishman tells of fight in which
there was but one whole nose left in the
crowd, "and that belonged to the tay-ket
tle."
There is a chap down East, with hail
so red, that when he goes out before day
he is taken for sunrise, and the cocks be
gin to crow.
An English paper gives an account o
a party Of sixty old women, who were
mothers of eight hundred and sixty-nin,
children.
| A house in Philadelphia was lately Sc
on FIRE by some rats. They ignited
quantity of matches in drawer, and sc
it on fire.
. A late religious paper stigmatises tn,
author of yellow-colored novels as ''liter
airy scorpions, who sting Virtue to dealt
by their tales"
The oldest mennonite curiosity, is tha
woman who never knows her age yet, {
: within half an hour, knows that of all he
female friends.
At a late Hen convention, finding it diff
ficult to raise the price of eggs, the feaih
cred tribe resolved for the future to onl
lay ten eggs to the dozen.
|, How Eaeh more difficult it is to get
woman out on Awet Sunday than on a we
: week day. Can the shut shops have any
! aaag 10 do viii thisl -1
= An impeF6nent fellow wants to kuor
If Won ever sal down to tea where skin
med milk was on the table. wish0ut bein
!. asked, do you take eresm}as
2 A printer. in setting Up ''re are b,
parts ola stupendoEIs whakes = ltlP nliistSk
8 0F a letter. made 1--WE are hnt rarts ,