Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1858-06-19
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"Ah !" said Mrs. Partngton, as she stood
looking at the placards stuck all over front
Of the store, advertising damcqed qoods for
sale. 1t was not n big II, like those which
doctors begin their prescriptions with. but
the simple ejaculation "ah - and as she said
it, people going along listened to what she
had to say. "This," continued she, running
on like wheelbarrow, 'is what is meant by
Mr.. Jacqueths, when she says, sweet are the
use of advertisements but"-and here she
butted against the word damaged" making
two syllabes Of it, with profane coustruc-
tion on the first, that made her hold up her
hands in unqualified horror But, though
the goods are aged don't see the use of
putting it quite so stronr--so much stronger
than the goods are, | dare say" Ike here
pulled her sleeve. at the same time kicking
big dog on the nose who was smelling at
her ''redicule," and the Old lady moved on
amid the crowd
PoFTIoAL-Tna certain well known city
o poetical genus was hauled up before the
magistrate for kissing a girl and kicking up
dust and the following dialogue ensued
Is yonr name John Jay2
Yes, your honor so the the people say.
Was it you that kissed the girl and raised
the alarm ?
Yes, your honor, but thought it was no
harm.
You rascal, did You come here to make
rhymes?
No, your honor, but it will happen some
times.
Be off, you scamp go out Of my sight
Thanke your honor, then III bid You good
night.
A LESSON IN GRANMAR-"Jack, did you
ever study grammar? u did sir. "What
case is Mr.. D--?' He's an objective
case. Glow so? because he objected 10
pay his subscription that's been owing for
three years anI half "Rglt What is
q noun?" "Dou't know but | know what
renowu is. "Well what is it 7" "Running
otl without paying the printer and getting
on the black list as q delinquent Good
What is u niHuction y "A method OF col
lecting outstanding subscriptions in conjunc-
tion with n constable, never employed by
printers until the last extremity" That's
right Go to your seat, aud quit shooting
paperwads at the girls
WAKE MoNEY.-A good looking Irishman
stopping at a hotel to warm himself inquired
of the landlord what is the news" The
landlord disposed to run upon him, replied,
"they say the devil is dead "An sure -
says Pat, that's news indade." Shortly
after. he went TO the bar, laid down some
coppers and resumed lis seat. The landlord,
always ready for a customer, asked him what
be would take "Notbing at all" said Pat.
"Why then did you put this money here p
"An sure, sir, it's the custom in me own
country, when a chap loses his daddy, to
give him a few coPporS to help him pay Tor
the wake
Bows are sometimes endowed with remark
able memories. We know a family in this
city, consisting Of a girl and one boy the
latter about years old. They we're sitting
one evening around the table, engaged in
telling each other how far back they could
recollect. The little girl recollected when
She had "doll that cried" The boy here
spoke up, and said ,hat b. recoliected worse
than that. "liow worse chlmed IN han
dozen voices in a breath. "Why, recollecl
four weeks before was born, aud | cried all
the time, for fear I'd be a gal!
"Mary, my love 90 you remember the text
this morning e" mo, papa, never can re-
member the text I've such bad memory
"Mory," said her mother did ycu notice Su,
san Brown?" 40, yes. What fright She
had on her last years bonnet done up, pea
green silk, black lace mantlla, brown
CATERS, an imitation lIonition collar, q lava
bracelet, her old ear drops, and such fan
., my" Mother-"Wel!, my dear, youl
memory is improving"
"Whskevettes" is the name given to "beau
catehers" worn by the girls this spring, (ol
lack Of wh!skers, moustaches, or goatees.-
They are made by drawing down little tuTs o
hair from the temples and forming them int
scollops.
Why will Americas emblem outlive thos
OF England, France, Ireland, aud Scotland
-Because the rose must fade-the lily droo
the shamrock die-the thistle wther bu
the stars are eternal.
There is Quaker in Philadelphia so u,
right that he wont sit down 10 his meals.