Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1858-01-19
THE GAZETTE.
TIE SWEET USES OF PROSPERITY.
TUESDAY MORNING, JANUARY -, 1883,

THE SWEET USES OF PROSPERITY.
Man. when prosperous. is kept regularly
acquainted with IL! the pressing warts oi MS
friends. He is reminded Of every little favor
ard obligation that has ever been conferred
upon him during bis lifetime, even inelu-
ding bis echool-dsys. He is beset by moth
ers With marriagebls daughters. lie becomes
the target of oil begging-lettsr-writers. lie
is applied to by every charity, every hospital,
every reformatory, besides every bubble com
pany, for subscriptions. and must ron the
risk of being considered "mean," or called
"a screw" il he declines subscribing TO every
one of them. He becomes the SLAVE of
large retinue Of servants, and is obliged to
put up with their oaprices. taeir pretebsIons,
their imperiinences. and the various other
forms and phases OF iOgratltude thai FUNK
eyi-m, in its psmpered state, Is must'y al
dicted to. He is expected, every DOW aud
then, to take the chair at public dInner'-
H. yokes himself 10 magnificent carriage
with the most beautiful horses, aud becomes
terribly alarmed at the smallest ACCIDENT &C.
earring Il them. He is doomed TO hear moth
ing tut flattery, and should the truth by any
accident be told him. II sounds 80 harshiy In
his ears that be is almost Inclined to resent
il as an insult. He has fulsome declarations,
and is obliged to buy inuumerable copies of
stupid books. as he knows we'll enough that
the dedication is written for no ether Object.
lie has his town house and his cOuutry-
house, his carriage horses and his ridine-hor.
Sos, besides horses for bis friends and his
grooms, and favorite dogs, every one OF which
Is a source Of endless anxiety TO him. With
his possessions Increase his cares. tie Is
dnnned 20 death to BE- the Director or Guar
dian, or Trustee, or Chairman, OF nearly all
eouivocal Societies and Companies, philan.
TROPICAL or otherwise, that have "Swindlng'
written in large characters upon the brass
front Il their doors or pr, spec'uses. lie has
relations without end constantly springlng
up, and they clanOr at his gates. and de
maj relief as boldly as paupers knocking
at an union -workhouse. He has every false
apollo, every Wardour-stIeet Venus, every
Brummagen LaOc0on, submitted 10 his criti'
cal notice, either for purchase, patronage, or
puff and is pestered by quscks OF all descrlP-
lions for testimonials, tsstiiyiDg that be has
had extracted without the smallest pain from
bis little toe corn as big as a walnut, or
that he has been in the habit OF taking the
+ sence Of Cannon for the last nineteen
years, and has derived the greatest benefit
from IT, He preserves game, aud is IN per-
petual st!te oil alarm lest the p0-Ch 2 should
not leave him single pheasant. lie must
not question p trades ia ans account but Sub
NIT gracefully t. every imposition, inastouch
a. he has plenty Of money, and can well al
ford to pay for it. He is expected, from his
exalted position. to set 40 example T. other;
so woe TO him if be is not regular In his al
tendance at cGurcb. and still greater wee t.
him if he should happen, during an ssphySi-
ating sermon, 10 fail asleep; woe TO him /, lie
attempts TO sneak of q jury, Or tries TO get
himself excused from attending at en- IN.
quest; woe t. hun If be refuses 10 serve as
church. val den: wee to him If be is ciffideGt
about examining charity children, or delicate
about The distribution of tracts or souI tick
e,s; and everlasting woe to him, If be tail 10
running about with ell the benevolent WI
met OF the neighb lrhood 10 catecoising, AID
relieving. and visiting the quserest people IN
the Queere-t places Notwithstanding all
these cares ard Az xie,ea, 10 spite OF all the
prosecutions aud draw backs to which Pros
perity is, from lis nature and worldly cond'.
ton, condemned, fancy that there are few
amongst US W DO would not wish to be Proc
porous tomorrow? For myself, | canddiy
confess | should not mind having the Mar
quis OF Westminster's wealth; though
should dechut il, if the condition were at
tached to it, that must be the Marquis o!
Westminster No, believe me, that of Isl!
the sweet uses of Prosperity, the eweetcst IA
~ Knowing no. t. uae little Hermit Of
tie Haymarkei.