Brookville American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1858-1861, 1858-07-16

Press, said Mrs Bigelow, rs she handed
a glass Of cider TO her neighbor, Mr..
Brown
n.e- An umbrella has been manufac4
tured In Connecticut called the lending
umbrella" IL is made of brown paper
and willow twigs. intended exclusively
20 accommodate friend
p5- Gribbins is aneat fellow. He says
he cant find time TO Lathe. BE .ides IL
costs like thunder for soap and towels.
We asked him how hc managed to keep
clean.
"Ohli' said he, with ahigh bred smirk,
al sand paper myself every Christ
mas"
ss5- Teacher--"well, sir, what docs
hair spell7"
Boy--"Don't I know"
Teachcr-"What have you got on
your hcadY"
Boy--"Guess ii's skeeter bite, IL
itchcs like thur der"
-0a Jury" said m Arkansas Judge,
''you kun 20 out and find a verdict. IL
YOU can't find one of your own, get tho
one the last jury had. They returned
n verdict Of suicide Ia the ninth degree.
pn- One Of our exchanges, in noticing
the presentation Of silver cup 10 CO
temporary, says:--"IIe needs no cup
He can drink from any vessel that con-
tans Iiouor-whether the neck OF q bot.
tie, the mouth OF dcmijohn, the spile
Of kog, or the bung Of barrel"
Bsy- 81 don't care 80 much about tho
bugs" said Mr.. wormly TO the head OF
tho gcntccl private boarding house In
which lac dwells, "but tho fact h, mad.
am, hain't got he blood 10 pars--you
see that yourself"
BEs- Mr. Brandytoddy's three reasons
for not drinking are very characteristic
Of that gentleman. "Takc something
10 drink" said his friend 10 him OF.
day. mo, thank you, replied Mr.. Is.
mo, why not, inquired bic friend In
great amazcment. lin the first place,
returned Mr.. Brandytoddy. II am Soc
rciary Of Temperance Society that
meets to-day, and must preserve my
tempcrance character. In the second
place, this is the anniversary OF my ia
theirs death. and out Of respect 10 him,
| have promised never TO drink on that
day. And IN the third place, ] have
just taken something"
rkS- We often hear OF a man abeing In
advance of his age, but who ever heard
of woman being IN the same prcdica-
nent r
pfa- When Lady Holland wanted 70
get rid OF fop, she used to say: IL beg
your pIrdon--but wish you would sit
n little further of; there Is something in
Your handkerc lief which do not like
py- An Irish attorney says: mo
printer should publish death unless
appriscd Of the fact by the party de-
ceased.
VERDICT or A NkoRo lSouEsr.--"Wc,
dc underscribod darkies, bein "A kurners
Juruy ob disgust, 10 sit ON dc body ob
dc nigger Sambo, now dead an gone be-
fore ns, hab boon sittin on de said Mig
gar aforesaid, did, on de night oh do
iuslecnth ob November. cum TO his
deaf ly ialin' from dc said ribcr, whar
We and he was subsocumcly drowndsd.
and apterwnrds was washed on de riber
side. whar we spose he irosed to deaf
] FIsnIxd FOR ApPLArsE.--.A gentleman
upon taking an apartment, said 10 the
/ lady Of the prcmiscs--"I assure you.
madam. never left lodging but my
landlady shed tears
II hope. sir" said she, with an arch
look, II hope IL was not hccause You
wen. away without paying"
E1y- The most remarkable instance OF
indccision We ever heard Of. was that OF
the man who sat up all night, because
he could not decide which ~ take OF
first, his coat or his boots.
nsn- Mrs. Partington asks. very in
dignnntly. IL the bills before Congress
are not counterfeit why there should be
such difficulty ia passing them?
p<s. IL shant he with YOU great
while, Jane, said Mr.. Meter; II shan't
stay here a great while"
"Oh, Mr.. Mcitcr, how can you talk
SOP" said Mrs. Meter, with lugubrious
expression Of face.
Because" said he, IL feel as IL was
most gone, and that am just passing
away like cloud before the rising sun." j"
Mr.. Melter verified his. prophecy the
next day by running away with bux-
um aud ssmpathizing feminine neigh.
Dor.
rea- A Quaker was asked if l.. would
ascend in his balloony Friend, said
he, IL do not meddle with flying re-
porte"
sse. Punch says he once saw father
knock down his beloved son, and
thought IL was the most striking illus.
tralion of sun down ho ever bcheld.
The going down of Sunset Samcox
beat that all hollow.
Bes- a quaint writer observes that al
seventeen, with reference 10 her beau, 4
woman inquiries which ir heY AT twsn
", grown moro ambitious, who Is heg-
At twenty Ave. the world having pro
: dnced It's effects, what has hcg But a
thirty, in despair, where is hcg IL Y
: true, ladies,
a nse- A good Know Nothing Mctbo
niel. having read great deal in the ps
pcrs about the Conference Kansas Blll,
says lac thinks Conference might NM
: something better " DO than 20 bs get
T. tingup bills about Kansas.