Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1858-04-30
UNCLE JOSH.
A New England Ntory.
ICONTINUED.l

1t was strangely touching, even to old Par
son Pitcher, long used to such interviews with
the oldest Of all people under excitement
rugged New Englanders-to see the simple
pathOs that vivifed Uncle JOsb's story of his
experience; and when in the midst of a sen
tence about his dead mother, and her petitions
for his safety, with tears dripping down both
cheeks he burst into a halelujah metre tune.
adapting the words
Though seed lie buried long In dust - etc.
and adding to the diversity of rythm the dis.
cordanee Of his sea-cracked voice, it was a
doubtful matter TO Parson Pitcher whether he
should laugh or cry and he was forced to COM
promise with hysterical snort, just as Josh
brought out the last word of the verse on a
powerful fugue,
''Cro-o o-o-op.''
So earnest and honest was he. that for whole
week after be had been examined and approved
by the church committee as a probatiOner he
never once thought OF Miss Eunice when, sud
denly as he WAS reading his Bible and came
across the honorable mention of her name by
the apostle, he recOllected with sort Of shame
faced delight, that now perhaps. she would
have him; SO with no further ceremony than
reducing his gusty flax cOlored hair to order
by means Of a pocket-comb, and washing his
hands Mt the pump, away no strobe to the
school house, where it was Miss Eunice's Gus
tom TO linger after school till her IRE was burnt
low enough to "rake up"
Josh looked in at the window as he drought
to- IN his own phrase alongside the school,
US, and there sat the lady OF his love, knit
ting blue stocking, with an empty chair
most propitiously placed beside her in front of
the fireplace. Josh's heart rose up nightly,
but he knocked as little knock as his great
knuckles could effect, was hidden in and sat
himself down on the chair in a paroxysm of
bashfulness. nOwise helped by Eunice's dropped
eyes and persistent knitting. So he sat full
fifteen minutes, every now and then clearing
N nj rtt ne 70 f,NIrD
point, till at length desperate enough, he made
dash into the middle of things and bu billed
ever with: Miss Eunice, I've got religion
In sot out to be a real pious man can't you
feel TO have me now 2''
What Miss Eunice's little trembling lin, an
swered, cannot say, but know it was salts
factory to Josh, for his first reyerent impulse
after he gathered up her low words was, to
clasp his hands and say" Amen" as if some
body had asked blessing; perhaps he felt he
had received one in Miss Eunice
When spring came they were married, and
were happy, Yankee fashion, without comment
OF demonstration, but very happy. Uncle Josh
united with the church, and was no disgrace TO
his profession, save and except in one thing
he would swear. Vainly did deacons, brethren
and pastor assail him with exhortation, remon-
STRANGE and advice; vainly did his meek wife
look at him with pleading eyes; vainly did he
himself repent, and strive and watch, the
stump Of Dagon remained" and was not to be
easily uprooted.
At length Psrson Pitcher. being greatly scan
dalized at JOsh's expletives, used unluckiIy in
a somewhat excited meeting on church busi-
ness, (fOr in the prayer meetings he never an
swerod any calls 10 rise. lest habit should get
the better Of him, and shock the very sinners
he mig ght exhOrt.) Parson Pitcher himself made
pastoral call at the farm, and found its mas
ter IN the garden, hOeing corn manfully.
- Good day, Mr.. Crane said the old gen
tleman.
'Good day, Parson Pitcher, good day. ID
hot day sir, answered the unconscious Josh
Not 50 hot as hell for swearers - sternIy
responded the Parson, who being of a family
renowned in New England for novsy mincing
matters, sometimes verged upon profanity him
self, though unawares Josh threw down his
hoe in despair.
Oh Lord 80 said be, there it goes again,
swear the id dogs take it. If [ don't
keep soin'' Oh Parson Pitcher, what shall
L de" IT swearS of itself. | am clean beat
ryln to head 1t on, CON no, mean confuse
sir 80
Luckily for Josh the Parsons risibles were
hardly better in hand than his own profanity
and 1t took him now long time to pick up his
cane, which lac had dropped in the curraut
bushes while Joe stood among the cornhilIs
wiping the sweat of his brow in an abiect
state OF Penltence and humility; and as the
Pdrson emerged like "a full NOON from the leafy
-sgrrsnts, he felt more charitably disposed to-
wards Josh than he had done before. at is
very bad thing Mr.. Crane said he mildly
Not merely for yourself, but il scandalizes
the church members, and think you should
take severe measures TO break up the habit 4"
W hat upon arth shall do, sir! !'' piteousy
asked Josh, lit is the d--dest plague! oh !
swan to man I've done it agin -
And here, with a long howl, Josh threw him
self down In the weeds, and kicked out like a
half-broken colt, wishing in his soul the earth
would hide him and trying to feel as bad as he
ought to, for his honest conscience sturdiIy re-
fused TO convict him in this matter, faithful as
1t was in less sounding sing.
grieve to say that ParsOn Pitcher got be-
hind an apple tree, and there-cried perhaps '
for he was wiping his eyes and shaking I'll over
when be walked on, and Josh, getting up COD
slderably In a state of dust, if not ashe. and
saek-elo!h, looked sheepishly about for his re-
:, -oyer, but he was gone
arson Pitcher convened the deacOns and a
few II the uneasy brethren that night in his
study. and expounded to them the duty of
charity tor people who would sleep in meet
ing: had 10 drink bitters for their stOmachs'
sake; new, r came to missionary meetings for
fear Of the c., ptributiOn box; or swore without
Knowing it; a.1d rs Deacon Stone did now aud
then snore unde 7 tEe pulpit, and Brother FL
bridge had JEs0mstiz' that nothing but
ehokeberry rum " Vssl cure. and that is very
apt TO affect the he I'd and Brother Peters had
so firm q conviction thsS money is the root of
all evil, that he kept his from spreading they
all agreed to have pati snce with Bro. Crane S
tOngue-iIl; and ParsOn Pitcher smiled as he
shut the door behind them, thinking Of that
Gr,t stone that no elder nor ruler could throw
Nevertheless, he pal another visit t. 10 h
the next week, and found him in a hopeful
state
I've hit ont now. Parson Pitcher :" said
he, without waiting for a more usual saluta-
ton. .. Miss Eunice she helped Inc, she's a
master cretur for inventions L sugar there
that's it. When / am goin to speak quick,
catch up something else that's got the same
letter on the bows, and tell ysD il goes !-'r
else its somethin'. Holla' l see them dip
per sheep is in my corn-Git aout. git sout
JOu d-dsndeliOns git aOut '" here he scram-
bIsd awsS after the stray sheep, just in time
Tor tha ParsOn, who had quieted his face and
walked in to see Mrs Crane when Josh came
back, dripping and exclsiming "Peppergrass
tbs9 j. the d-drOwnedest 'heep ever see