Nebraska advertiser. [volume] (Brownville, Nemaha County, N.T. [Neb.]) 1856-1882, 1858-05-20
Save the Pieces.


dollar? Because il is not current,
The man who 'retraced' the past is
supposed to be harness maker.
Egotists find the world ugly because
they only see themselves init.
The fellow who put the thing in a nut
she'll, found ii cracked day or two after
wards.
The man who ste his dinner with the
fork of river, has been endeavOring TO
spin mOuntain top.
When two men quarrel and fight, de-
pend upon it that both are in the wrong,
each one more or less.
Mrs. Partington inquiries what kind of
razors are used in shaving notes? The
spirit of departed Paul replies, raises of
money!
How is coal this morning?' said pur.
chaser to an Irishman y no was at work
in coal-yard. Black as iver,' said Pat.
Mr.. Smith, don't you think Mr.. Skee.
sicks is young man of parts?' 'Decid-
edly so, Miss Brown, he is part numbskull,
and part knave, and part fool
Life is a romance which a coquette
never tires of turning over a new leaf Of.
Fashionable society has generally but
two faults-frst, in being hollow. headed,
and, secondly, hollow-hearted.
Economy, joined to industry and So
briefly, is better outfit for business than
a dowry.
Love is strong in pursuit-friendship
in possession.
The only things you may safely put off
until tomorrow are idleness and vice.
Gold is universally worshipped, without
single temple, and by all classes, with.
out single hypocrite.
The best capital for a young man is a
capital young wife. So gentleman in.
forms US who has Just tried it.
Modesty is a handsome dish-cover,
which makes US fancy there must be
something very good beneath it.
He who stabs you with a pen would do
the same with penknife, were he as
safe from detection and the law.
Byron once said: II am convinced men
do more harm to themselves than even
the devil could do to them"
One of the toasts drank at a recent cell
ebration was: Woman! she requires no
eulogy, she speaks for herself"
The most fashionable marriages at the
present time are those which are welded
with gold--lOve is a secondary article.
my boy, how could you marry YOUR
self TO an Irish girl!" "Why, father,
am not able TO keep two women-for, dive
see, if | had married a Yankee girl, I'd
been obliged to hire an Irish girl to take
care of her"
Lovely Woman-An article manufac-
tured by rnilliners and dressmakers.
"Who wants but little on her head
But much below to make SPREAD u
He who braces himself to the wind. to
struggle when the winds blow, gives up
when they have done, and falls asleep in
the sillness which follow.
If any lady chooses to be ill-natured
towards us, we are disposed to say to her
in bold defiance Of consequences, that she
is mo gentleman"
When you bury aninnosity, don't set a
stone over lis grave.
1t is not generally known that Wash
ingtOn drew his last breath in the last
hour of the last day of the last week in
the last month of the last year in the last
century-Saturday night, IL o'clock Dec.
81, 1899.
Mans happiness is said to hang upon
thread. This must be the thread that
is never at hand to sew on a shirl-button
that is always off.
Some model women think they clean
their children when they wipe the dirt off
their noses into the corners of their eyes.
This IS a mistake.
The Sunday Mercury, in a fit of revo.
luucnary enthusiasm, says:
"Hurrah for the girls of '76!"
Thunder ~ cries new jersey paper,
chats too old. No, no; hurrah for the
girls of IL.
: Jean Paul very wittily and truly remarks
that female hearts and Spanish houses
: are very similar; having many doors bnl
5 few windows, and accordingly it is easier
: to get into them than to see into them.
A bachelor advertised for a helpmate,
! one who would prove "a companion for bis
heart, his hand and his lot A fair one.
= replying, asked very earnestly, how Big
. is your lot g
Y A dandy on board steamboat lately
5 stood by and sawa young lady fall on the
D deck without offering to assist Der. On
being asked for an explanafioa: i was
Y waiting, says Poodle for an mtroduc.
5 ton
A young gentleman who has lust mar.
. ried liiIe beauty, SAYS, she would have
8 been taIler. but she s made Of such nre,
: cious nlaferials tha. Nature could not af.
ford IL
II II = not generous to blame youth fol
al E-NN~