Monmouth weekly herald. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1854-1860, 1858-12-16

a Hard Joke.
WITT g MUMOR

The Mobile .Adreftiscr. of the 18Th
tells the following story Of a notorious
practical joker in that CITY. ycIept
straight back Dick
Dick was at the wharf one day last
week. when one of the river boats arriv
ed, looking doubtless, for some unMary
individual upon whom TO exercise his
talent. He watched closely the c%ounien
ance Of each passenger as he stepped from
the plank upon the wharf. and at length
fastened his gaze upon an individual WHO
from his appearance and manners. was
considerably nearer Mobile than he had
ever been before. He was evidently jill
at ease, and had probably heard the re-
ports which was rife in the country rela
tive to the hundreds who were dying in
Mobile every hour from yellow fever
The man started off toward Dauphin
street, carpet sack in hand, but had not
proceeded far when a heavy hand was
laid upon his shoulder, and he was sud
denly stopped. Upon turning round
he met the cold, serious c~ountenance of
Dick, and it seemed to send a thrill of
terror throughout his whole frame. AT
ter looking at him steadily for about a
minute Dick slowly calculated
Yes, yon are the man. Stand
straight p
With fear visible in his countenanee.
the poor fellow essayed to do as CON
manded.
"S~traighter yeti /" said Dick. There
that will do" and taking from his pocket
a small tape measure, he stopped down
and measured him from the tip Of his
toe to the crown Of his hat, took a pencil
and carefully noted the height in his
pocket book, to the utter astenishment Of
the stranger after which he measured
him across the shoulders and again noted
the dimensions. He then looked the
stranger firmly in the face and said
Sir, | I'M very sorry that it IS so, but
| really will rot be able to finish it for
you before morning"
Finish what 2" asked the stanger. en-
%deavoring in vain to appear calm.
"Why your coffin to be sure you see
| I'm the city undertaken, and the people
are dying here so fast I can hardly sup
ply the demand for collins. You will
have to wait until your turn comes, which
will be tomorrow morning-say about
nine O'clock"
But what the ID do / want with a
coffin? have no idea of dying y
"You havn't Ell sir you will not live
two hours and a half. l see it in your
countenance. Why even now you have
a pain-a slight pain-in your back"
Yes, | believe l have" replied the
boaster.
Exactly" said Dick, " and your limbs
too p
Yes, stranger, you're right, and I be
gin to feel it in the back Of my neck and
head"
"Of course you do and unless you do
something for it you'll be dead in g short
time, | assure you. Take my advice,
now, go back aboard the boat, swallow
down a gill of brandy, get into your
stateroom and cover up with blankets
Stay there till you perspire freely, then
leave here like lightning y
Hooster hurried on board that boat,
and followed Dicks instructions to the
letter. On Monday he was met by a
gentleman at Chronicle, to whom he re-
lated his wonderful escape from death by
yellow fever, even after preparations
were being made to procure his coffin
He says he will never forget the kindness
of the tall man in Mobile who gave him
such good odvice.