Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1858-06-10
How came to he Married..

perience, and there are few unmarried folks
Of either sex who do not take naturally to
Just that style Of narrative. Everybody is
anxious to know how everybody else who
has crossed the matrimonial rubicon, man
aged the ticklish business. 81. w. M."
thus explains how he got married.:
"It may be funny, but I've done it.
I've got a rib and baby. Shadows OF
dcpartcd-oyster stews, brandy cocktails,
cigar-boxes, boot jacks, absconding shirt
buttons. whist and dominocs. Shadows
of past hoop skirts, band boxes, ribbons,
CATERS, long stockings. Juvenile dresses,
tin trumpets, little willow chairs, cradles,
bib, pap, sugar teats, paregoric, hive
syrup, castor oil, Godfrey's cordial, sooth-
ing syrup, rhubarb, SIENNA. salts, squllls
and doctor bills. Shadows future-m ore
nine pound babies, more hive syrup, ETC.,
eic, etc.
"I'll tell you how / was caught. / was
ALWAYS the darndcst, most tea custard, bash
full fellow you ever did see; it was kinder
in my line to be taken with the shakes
cverv time saw pretty gal approaching
me, and I'd cross the street any time rath-
er than face one; 'twasn't because l didn't
like the critters. for if was behind fence
looking through knot hole, L couldn't
look at one long enough
"Well, my sister Lib gave party one
night, and l stayed away from home be-
cause | was too bashful to face the music.
hung around the house whistling 'Old
Dan Tucker dancing to keep my feet
warm, watching the heads bobbing up and
down, behind the window curtains, and
wishing the laundering party would break
up so could get i'll my room. l smoked
bunch of cigars, and as it was getting
late and very uncomfortable. concluded
to shin up the door post. No sooner said
than done, and soon found myself snug in
bed. Now says |. let her rip. Dance
till vour wind gives outp And cud-
ding under the quilts, Morpheus grabbed
me.
IL wa, dreaming of soft-shcl crabs and
stcwed tripe and was having a good time,
when somebody knocked at TIN" door and
woke me up. Rap again. i laid low
Rap, rap, rapp Then heard a whisper
ing and knew there was whole raft oi
girls outside. Rap. rap' Then Lib sings
out:
"'Jack. are you there?'
".Yes,' says |.
".'Let us in,' says she.
81 WON'T says /. cant you let felleI
alone?'
"'Are you a-bel?' says she.
"'l am, says L.
..Then came another laugh. BY thun
deri l began to get riled.
"'Gct ont you petticoated scare-crows.
| cried, cant you get beau without hail
ing fellow out of bel? i wont so home
with you'll won't-so you may clear out!
And throwing boot at the door L fcl
T6ctter But presently, oil.mor,al buttons
| heard still, small voice very much lik
sister Lib, and it said-'Jack. you hav
to get up, for all the girls things are il
there
"Oh, Lord, whit pickle. Think of m
in bed, all covered with shawls, muffs
bonnets and cloaks, and twenty girls ont
side the door waiting to get in! If ha'
stopped to think | should have pancakes
on the spot. AS it was, | rolled on
among the the bonnet and ribbons il
a hurry .Smash,' went the millinery il
every direction mad to dress in the darl
for there was crack in the door, an,
the girls ,c'U peek-and the way 1 tumble,
about was death on straw hat.. Th
critical moment came. l opened tn
door, and found myself right among tn
women.
"'Oh. my LcShorn,' cries one. M
dear. darling. winter velvet! cries another
and they pitched in--they pulled me thi
; way and that, boxed my ears, and on
bright-eyed little pece--Sal-. her nam
was-put her arms right around my neck
/. and kissed me right on my lips. Huma
nature could not stand that, and CAV
her as good as she sent 1t was the frs
time / ever hal taste, and it was pow
: full good. l believe / could have kisse
that gal from Julius Cesar to fourth c
July.
a :" Jack said she, we are sorry to dis
turb you. but won't you sec me homc?'
".Yes, / WILL said L. did do it, an
had another smack at the gate, too. Al
ter that, we took kind of turtle-dovin
after each other. both signing like barre
. Of new cider when we were away from eac
c other.
1 Twas at the close Of glorious sum
> mer day-the sun was sitting behind dis
tant hog pen-thc chickens were going t
roost-the bull ll-frogs were commencin
their evening songs-the pollywogs.
their native mudpuddIes, were prcparin
themselves for the shades of night--sn
Sal and myself sat upon an antiquate
backlog. listening to the music of nature
such as tree toads, roostcrs and gruntin
pigs, and now and then the mellow musi
Of distant jackass was waited to our ear
by the gentle zcphyrs that sighed anon
the mullen stalks, and came heavy ladenc
with the delicious odor of hen roosts an
pig styes. The last lingering rays Of tn
setting sun, glanced from the brass but
tons of solitary horscman. shone throug
"a knot hole in the hog pen fun in Sal
face, dyeing her hair with an oraugepce
hue. and showing off my thread-barc Goa
. to bad advantage-ono of my arms wa
around SAILS waist, my hand resting on th
small Of her back-shc was toying wit
my auburn locks of jet black hue-sh
was almost gone and was ditto. Sh
looked like grasshopper dying with tn
Lfocupc anil r.lx