Brookville American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1858-1861, 1858-02-19
comretts Of the Acts,ors

Il
pounded il with the food of her fellow
servant, for tho purpose of inducing
him to love her-but, alas, unavailingly
A clergyman WAS ccnsuring young
lady for tight lacing. why" replied
the arch Miss, "you would not recon-
mend loose habits TO your parishoners?'
The clergyman, thus outwitted. smiled
thoughtfully.
Why should little boy be careful to
watch the conduct Of his papas sister
Because the Bible says Consider the
ways Of tho aunt and be wise
Speaking of prayers. reminds ns OF
ono we once heard at revival in the
Jerseys. The speaker becoming ami
mated; burst forth with 20 Lord, man
ifest myself to us tonight; come right
down through the roof and | will pay
for the shinglcs?" The effect may be
imagined.
During the session of a country court
In the interior, a witness was askedif he
was not husbandnan, whom he cody
replied, amid the laughter Of the court,
'No, cir, Use not married
MADAM" said polite traveller to a
tcsty andIady, "if see proper to help
myself TO this milk is there any impro-
priety in it2"--"I don't know what you
mean; but if you mean 10 insinuate
that there is any thing bad in that milk,
I'll give you to understand that you've
struck the wrong house. There amt u
first hair in the milk, for as soon rs Dor
otby Ann told me the cat was drowned
in Il. went and strained il over" The
Mortified young man declined partakirg
Of the cat-favored milk.
Why Cats WASH THEIR rAcEs.--A cat
caught sparrow, and was about TO de-
YOUR IL, but the sparrow said, mo gen.
tlcman eats till no has first washed his
face" The cat, struck with this re-
mark, set the sparrow down, and began
TO wash his face with his paw. but the
sparrow few away. This. vexed puss
extremely, and she said. "As long rs
live will eat first and wash my face af.
forwards" Which all cats do even to
this day.
Must man be moaly mouthed before
he can make howery speech be accom-
panied by any action TO make the jest
sure Of its effect, or should n piece OF
fun be jest enough Of itself to move TO
laughter without jest-tickle-ation on the
part Of the speaker
Some years since noted warrior Of
the Pottowattamie tribe presented him
self TO the Indian agent at Chicago, as
one OF the chiefs of his village, observ-
ing, with the customary simplicity Of
the Indians, that he was very good
man, and very good American, and
concluded with request for dram OF
whisky. The agent replied that 1t was
not his practice TO give whisky to good
mcn-that good men never ask for
whisky, nor drink il when voluntarily
offered; that il was bad Indians only
who demanded for whisky. "Then,'
replied tho Indian, quickly, in broken
English, "me id rascal"
Nature designed the heart to be al-
ways warm, and the hand to be often
open.
What is moro beautiful and poetic
than tho child's idea Of ice-"Water
gone TO sleep"
Tho best capital for young man is a
capital young wife. So gentleman in.
forms US, who has just tried II.
"My dear" said distinguished gen.
tlcman to his wife, ~ hear much about
the age Of Pericles. What are pericles.
A classic editor says, IL the Maids
were constantly bathing, he presumes,
from their name. Dryads were the
ones who brought the towels.
A merchant lately advertised fer o
clerk "who could bear confinement. F"
He received an answer from one who
had been seven years In jail.
The plough, tho press and the Yankee
are bound 10 20 together around the
world. When the last makes "claim,
no begins by guiding the first, and set
ting up the second.
NEW ANEcporE or CHARLES LAMD.--
] opened tho little low pcw.door of the
inclosure at the India House, which
contained his desk, being determined TO
introduce myself 80 | walked up to
him, and hat In hand said, with re-
spectful bow: "Mr. Charles Lamb, ]
believer" ayes" said Lamb, slowly,
feeling and coaxing ut the Same time
his short, thin, gray whiskers, "y.e-s,
they call me Lamb yet, but I am old
enough 10 BE- a sheep T.
A Western poet witnessed pugilis.
tic encounter, which he thus immortali.
zcd
And Isaac he pitched into hym.
And hym pitched into he,
w way they hytte II was sin,
And horrybei 10 see.
Not long since, -"Friend," who re-
joiced in tho name Of Comfort, paid his
dcyoirs 10 q young and attractive Qua
ker widow, named Rachel II. Either
her griefs were too new, or her lover
too old, or from other causes, his offer
was declined Whereupon q Quaker
friend remarked That IL was the frs,
modern instance he had known, where
Rachael refused TO be Comforted." The
anecdote Is remarkable, as being the
first Quaker pun on record.
An old colored man; near Victoria
Texas, who was the only Baptist in the
neighborhood, always "stuck up for his
own faith" and was ready with rca.
son for Il, although he was unable Il
read word. This was the way he "pul
EN- down" "You kin read, now, k,an
You ?" "Well, s'pose you've read the
Bible, haint your Eyes" you've
read about John do Baptist, haint your