The independent press. (Abbeville C.H., S.C.) 1853-1860, 1858-07-30
The Knickerbocker Magazine.

"Old Knick' for July is a capital num-
Der. We always peruse its pages with plea
sure and profit. The present number is
moro than usually interesting, and much
enlarged. To the Editors table we sit
down satisfied that before we get up, We
shall find something extremely funny or
pathetic. From the ''Tabie" Of the last
number, we pick the following pungent
crumb, which We hand over to our readers
to taste and pass along: Those that delest
puns, or cannot discover them, will please
skip the dialogue:
My eyes said the Potato to the Lemon,
how bilious you look to-day Your skin
is as yellow as saffron. What can be the
matter =
Lemon. Acility of stomach--a family
complaint Of ours.
Potato. Why don't you take advice p
Lemon. Advice You know my poor
dear brother dropped off the other dag
and without being allowed to rest on his
mother earth, his body was suatched up
by a member Of the Bnr, who, instead of
acting legally, dissectei him-absoluely
cut him up. 'All for the public good said
the rascal, as he squeezed out poor LENS
last gastric juices. Take advice, quotha
If he was not allowed to enter a plea in
Bar, what may expect from Doctors Com
mons 2
Potato. That's true. I only hope poor
Lem, though he was in liquor at the time,
bad strength enough to give him punch
under the ribs he WAS rum customer to
the last, no doubt-but must say wish
his skin had been fuller. Do you attend
the meeting tonight
Lemon. feel rather soured at present.
met Running Vine just now with the in
vitations, and be hined that there would
be squeeze, in which case 1 should de-
cline, as they might press me to furnish
drink for the company-in fact, it is al
ways so when they call any of my family
to their aid. But now, to be serious, my
sweet sweet Potato, if you should 90, let
me advise you not to get yourself into wa
ter: you'll be dshed to certainty if you
do. Onion, the strongest friend you have
on earth. brought tears to my eyes by the
bare recital of what would be the probable
consequences Of your attending it. To case
OF row, you'll both have to Stripped off.
Now, under such circumstances, he'll GER
tainly excite some sort ofsympathy where
as the removal of your russet coat might
attract more admiration than pity Love
ly in death, would they say-sPaNida
aaors,' etc. Indeed, for my own part,
think you do look better in white. Oh |!
another thing would say: Keep out of
Horse-Radish's company be will be sure
to get into scrape, a greater one than he
imagines, perbaps-aud as for Onion, (don't
let this leak out,) fear the rope will end
him. should not like to get into a stew
with him-so, mum All ! here come
Plum and Pear. How savage they look
Pear. How are you, my dear Lemon ?
Do decide this question between Plum and
me. On referring to johnson, we find my
numerical value estimated at two only
while the rascally Plum is set down for a
hundred ahousaud.. It's too absurd there
must be some mistake.'
plum. None at all. Please 10 recol-
]ect, Sir, that weigh stone more than
you
pear. From tha must beg leave tc
eecede.'
Lemon. Stop this fruitless wrangling,
or I shall be tempted to skin you both, tc
get at the truth. I'm not in spirits. Al
> for you; Mr.. Plum. no more of your tart re.
1narka and Mr.. Pear, ifyon wish to be
preserved, the less jarring the better. Here
comes our good friend Raspberry. How do
You do, my fine fellow, and where have you
>. Been r
: Raspberry. In the most internal jam
y6u ever saw pom honor, twas insnpport-
sabls.--What's the news =
-. tEAspsp. There is report which Bush
Shas raised; quite current here, that be ser.
{jed up IN sweet style last evening at tea
table, before . party of ladies' and, the
cseam Of The joke is, that you were consid-
evably down, ,insths mouth, ~
Raspberry. Mere envy. You. know be
6ssltivatss tBe affections Of Miss Rose Ger.
aaium, ssseet .crsature, bythe-by, end