Bellevue gazette. [volume] (Bellevue City, N.T. [i.e. Neb.]) 1856-1858, 1858-07-22


ed an instant apology then | called for
six glasses of lager, aud when the girl
brought them all IN one hand, | tried to
take them in one hand, but broke three /;
then tried to drink the remaining three
all Mt once, and in doing so took an in
voluntary shower bath; then | tried 10
pay for the whole fifty glasses and the
damage, with dime and Spanish quar-.
ter, and demanded that he should give
me my change in gold dollars. There
seemed to be some difficulty about this and
if hadn't known that lager isn't inloxi-
eating, ! should have thought the man
was drunk. | was on the point OF calling
in policeman to arrest him for swindl.
ing, when Damphool came and explained
the matter, and his thick head at last
colnprehended that was right.
Little tambourine girl came along and
wanted some money for a man who was
performing with great deal of skill on
crank outside; felt generous and tride to
put Damphool into the tambourine under
the impression that he was half dollar
finally presented the girl with my conpli.
ments, two cigars, and n penny, with
which she went off satisfied.
Then l thought Id make love to pref
ty girl, who had just brought me a glass
of lager, "a beverage prevalent in that
vicinity, and which dose not possess any
intoxicating power,) so pressed to my
heart for two minutes, what | supposed to
be her hand, and did not find out that II
was her petticoat till tried 10 kiss il, and
got my mouth full of woollen yarn: look.
ed at pretty girl with Indignation and
asked her what she meant by such con.
duct Then had mug of lager Ia Iiq-
uor which does not intoxicate, and which
is much used among the German popnla.
tion.)
Then the music struck up. When
saw the fellows with the crooked brass
horns up to their mouths, / thought they
were drinking some kind of beer that |
hadn't had any Of, so snatched the from.
bone and ordered the girl to fill it up i'm.
mediately. Then | volunteered song.
The company all kept silent to hear me.
and | began to whistle Old Dog Tray,
with intervals of five minutes between the
notes. Then | had glass of lager, "a
kind of beer much fancied by the for.
eign element of our city, which does not
intoxicate, } and fear abused the waiter
because he didn't bring me any gravy on
it. Then / had another, into which |
poured vinegar, mustard, and fine cut to.
bacco, under the delusion that | was
making brandy punch. Then re.
membered that | had resolved not TO
drink any thing that would in,oxicate, so
heroically threw the brandy punch into
the fire. and called for glass of lager,
"a drink which the early Teutons niro-
duced into this country, aud which does
not intoxicate.
Then the music struck up again, and
wanted the alligator TO waltz. Alligator
refused to speak to me. Thought I'd take
of my coat and whip alligator into de-
cency, but as was trying TO accomplish
this enterprise, lost my balance and sat
down in a plate of ham and mustard be-
longing to fierce German, whom in.
stah,ly seized by the moustache, where
upon he knocked me down. Resolved
that I'd kill fierce German Immediately,
and explained to him at length that if he'd
let me get up, Id cut his head off with
the oyster knife. Then Damphool came
and pacified me. and took the fierce Ger
man away, Got up and had some lager,
the whole Of which poured into my bos.
ON, as was explaining TO the bystanGers
that lager "a pleasant compound Of un-
known ingredients) isn't intoxicating.
Suddenly again determined to dance,
and started off with that intention. |
have an indistinct recollection that about
this time there was great upsetting of
tables and smashing of glasses, but real.
ly cannot undertake to say whether
fired a loaf Of bread through the window
before ! threw the castor bottles at the
tiddlers, or not or whether that innocent
demonstration was not preceded by my
breaking all the decanters in the window
by ham. and staving in the bier cask
with an axe, or can tell whether / ex-
tingulshed the clarionet player with the
big cheese before or after | sat down on
piano and 60, the cramp in my right leg
trying to play bass solo with my heels,
but | find all these little circumsta noes
were in the programme. Why con.
Quoted myself in this manner | am unable
to say. / could not have been drunk,
for | had partaken of nothing but lager
beer, wich is fluid innocent Of alcohol.
1t may have been the sardlnes or the
cheese-or pehaps the sausage few to
my head.
| was finally captured BY four Dutch
men, led on by Damphool. who took me
off the floor behind the piano, where I
was trying to pour beer on. Of sn. Il ia,
bus's,, and was asking the bass drum il it