Daily Nashville patriot. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1857-1858, 1858-01-21
How Tom CorSvin rid his Sister of an
Obnoxious Lover. t1.-E
BY A WEsTERN NAN.

Every one has heard of the eloquent,
pathetic and humorous stump orator of Ohio
Hewas pronounced by Mr.. Clay "a most COM
petent authority to be the finest stump speak
er he had ever heard; and in this opinion
most heartily coincide, after having heard
Clay, Crttenden, Jones of Tennessee, Polk,
Benjamin, Soule, Randall Hunt, Tom Mar
shall. Gen. Lamar, Bates, Douglas and most
of Others.
Well, this great orator carried his love OF
fun into every department OF lIfe. In the
private circle, where he knew every person
and unbosomed himself fully, he was :he most
delightful. do not know that he now, as
age and imfirmity are creeping Cd, INDUCES
his proclivity 10 humor so much as he used
TO do. But some twenty years ago he used
TO tell. with great susto, the following story:
eIn early life-so early that cannot remem-
Der the removal-mv father pulled up stakes,
and carrying with him the household goods,
went from BOuT bon county, Kentucky, where
/ was born, to Ohio Notwithstanding rough
and tumble struggle with the world, he had a
hard time to get on, owning to numerous
aud rapidly increasing family. Well, family
mat ers had not much improved when had
reached my thirteenth or fourteenth year.
cat this time there lived in the neighbor-
hood young man named Pickering. He had
Inherited well-stOcked farm. was good look
ing, and made strong profession of religion.
This latter qualification caused him to find
peculiar favor in the eyes of my father, who
always was blinded by professions of extra
piety.
''This fellow had strong laundering after
one of my sisters, who was a very pretty girl.
To her he was peculiarly distastful. She
seemed always excessively annoyed at his
presence. Yet he was ever ut her side. She
dared not dismiss him entirely, for fear of the
paternal anger. Things went on in this way
for years or two, and as / partook largely of
my sisters hatred of him, resolved to get rid
of him some way. | cast about for a plan for
some time, bat nothing occurred which gave
Inc the sill htest hope of success.
at last returning home late one summer
night from the mill, l found thy family at
their nightly devotions. Passing by the win
dow of The room in which they were assem-
bled, | saw that Pickering was there, and
pretty soon discovered that he was nodding,
and finally his head dropped. Now was my
opportunity. / stole silly into the hall, and
reaching the hall door which was slightly ajar,
and close by which Pickering was, ION Bonded
knee reach d in and quickly pulling his chair
from under him, he rolled heavily, as sound
sleeper would upon the floor. The noise
alarmed all. The old gentleman stopped in
the midst of his almost interminabe prayer,
and saw the position of Pickering. All the
family laughed out right; even my mother
smiled.
"Pckering endeavored to pick himself up
is rapidly AZ possible, but he had touched the
old man upon his tenderest point. 1t was ev
ident, from lis rubbing his eyes, that be had
slept under the old gentleman's ministrations;
and had not my father reputation far and
wide for the feryency and strength of his min
i;strations, and was not Pickering his protesting
brother2 1t was too much. Slowly yet most
dgnifedly did the old man approach him.
'Begone, hypocrite!' he cried, in thunder
tones. Never enter my house again
pickering was thunderstruck. He felt
that he could make no apology which would
not add to the insult. He had no suspicion of
the exterior force which had aided Lin in his
fall. lie at once found his hat, took up his
line Of march, and, completely crestfallen,
passed by me as | stood grinning in the shad-
ow Of the porch.
AT suitable time entered, got my sup
per, was told by q brother, in hurried whis-
pers, what had happened, and then stole off
10 bed, affecting ignorance and laughing most
heartily, as l ensconced myself in the sheets,
at the complete success of my plan.
Next day l cautiously impaired my secret
to my interested sister. She was in her own
room at the time, and she threw herself upon
the bed and rolled in agonies and commissions
of laughter. She had been emancipated for
ever from the attention of an obnoxious lover.
The old gentleman did not hear the real state
OF The facts for full twenty years afterwards;
but when he did he laughed heartily"