The Buchanan County guardian. (Independence, Buchanan County, Iowa) 1858-1864, 1858-09-23
Kiver up Stranger, Till the Gals I'M
dreSS.s,

Kiver up Stranger, Till the Gals Un-
dress.''
There is spot in the southwestern
part of this State, know as the " Fiery
Fork of Honey Run."-a delicious locali-
ty, no doubt, as the run of " honey" is.
of course, accompanied BY correspond
ing flow of milk" and mixture of
milk and honey, or at any rate, honey and
"peach" is the evidence of sublunary
contentment, every place where they have
preaching
Honey Run " is further christianized
by the presence of an extremely hospita-
BILE family, whose mansion, comprising
one apartment-neither more nor less-is
renowned for being never shut against the
traveller, and so our friend found it DUR
ing the chill morning air at the expense
of rheumatism on his shoulder-its
numerous unaffected cracks and spaces
clearly showing that dropping the latch
was useless Formally. The venerable
host and hostess, in their one apartment,
usually enjoy the society of two sons, four
daughters, sundry dogs and "niggers,
and as many dodgers as may deem it pru-
dent to risk the equivocal allotment Of
sleeping partners. On the night in ques-
ton, our friend, after hearty supper of
ham and eggs. and a canvass Of the Fiery
Forkers-the old lady having pointed out
his bed-felt very weary, and only look
ed for an opportunity to "turn in,"
though the mosquitoes were trumpeting
all sorts Of wrath, and no net appeared
to bar them. The dogs flung themselves
along the floor, or again rose, restlessly,
and sought the door step. the "niggers
stuck their feet into the yet warm ashes ;
the old man stripped, unscrupulously,
and sought his share Of the old collapsed
looking pillow, and the sons cavalierly
followed his example, leaving the
old woman, "gals," and stranger"
to settle any question of delicacy that
might arise.
The candidate yawned, looked at his
bed, went to the door, looked at the
daughters; finally, in downright reckless
ness, seated himself upon the downey,"
and pulled off his coat, and then he yawn
ed, and then he whistled, and then he call
ed the old lady's attention to the fact that
it would never do to sleep in his muddy
trowsers and then he undid his vest, and
then he whistled again, and then sudden
ly an idea of her lodger's possible embar-
rasment seemed to fash upon the old wo-
man, and she cried:
Gals, Jest turn your backs round till
the stranger gets into bed"
The backs were turned, and the strang-
CIR did get into bed in " less than no time, "
when the hostess again spoke
Reckon, stranger, as you amt used to
us you'd better kiver up till the gals un-
dress, hadn't you %
By this time our friends sleepy fit was
over, and, though he did kiver up" as
desired, somehow OF other the old coun-
terpane was equally kind in hiding his
bushes. and fayoring his sly glances.-
The nymphs soon slowed away, for there
were neither bustles to unhitch nor corsets
to unlace, when their mamma, evidently
anxious not to smother her guest, consid-
erably relieved him. You can unkiver
now, stranger I'm married folks, and
you Amt afraid Of me, l reckon -
The stranger happened to be . married
folks" himself; he unkivered and turned |
his back with true connubial indifference,
as far as the ancient lady was concerned
but with regard to the gals" he declar-
ed that his half raised curiosity inspired |
the most tormenting dreams of mermaids
that ever he experienced.