The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1858-02-04
VARIETY.

VARIETY.
eIf cigar makes i'll, will cheroot mstA
Inn-illa.
he speaker who $. took the foor'' has teen az
[Dd for stealing lumber.
= e young gentleman who the day when
- couldn't associate with mechanics is act
81 ~ - clerk TO a manure wagon.
- - independent man is that live without
4 Ky and tobacco. and needs shaving because
= <Guears his beard.
szEnbieion often puts men upon doing the meanest
= y, 50 climbing is performed in the same posture
GFeeping-
4PITAPR--On 4 lamb just killed" Peas to his
$I[nains."
What is best to prevent old maids from despairing
Echo-Pairing.
An indirect way of getting glass Of water at O
boarding -hoase is to call for a thrd-cup Of tea
"A teacher asked bright little girl "What
country is opposite the globe 20
81 don't know, sir,'' the answer.
'- Well, now,' continued the teacher, if
bore hole through the earth, and you to go
in 1T this end, where would you come out 20
'-Out of the hole, sir, replied the pupil, with
air of triumph
The man who ate his dinner with the fork of
river, has been endeavoring to spin mountain top.
Speaking of beautiful brunette belle OF an illinois
s:iry a friend OK accounts the BROWNIES of
complexion by the fact that she has been often
sssed
- DIR. Person. said man to the great Greek
X.
6paion Of you IS most contemplate ''Sir. replied
the Doctor, $ never knew opinion Of yours that
was not contempsiDle."
Mrs. Partilgton inquiries what kind of razors
employed in shaving notes. Mr.. Pic respectfully in
forms her that they generally raisers Of money
What more precious Offering be laid upon the
liar of mans heart than the first love Of pure,
AxDsst, and .,lisectionate girl, with an undivided
= IIesi
4 Ue could real the secret history Of our enemies,
T. 5aunId find in each mans life sorrow and suffer-
uDogh 10 disarm all hostility.
= Peter Piper's baby making tremendous
4. md n friend asked Peter why il was cross
Ia stormy MOTHER" said Peter, with sigh
8 Int wonder if it is little squally-it is
y = b Eollowirg csme off recently: Two gentlemen
fffksnz. Sharp toy appears. I" Well, sir, git any
nites Lots os EN- ssY-e-s under your hat
R,ce between boy and divers and sundry s;ones-boy
= little ahead.
Said Annals pcrceptor, q kiss is a noun
Wth ehsk Ks Of rerIniIIou anssf eyeiids cast down,
'Ts both common and proper the pupil replied
An auec,iote is related of a young preacher at
city church, VINO had for his text verse from the
parable of the virgins, and in the course Of his
sermon explained " That in old times ii Gus
tomary when the bridegroom and bride were coming,
for virgins to 90 out and meet them, and escort
them horne-5jire Of these rirgins being male, and
fire feMGles- T"
Several years ago young English nobleman fig
ured in Washington. He had but small supply Of
brains, although many titles which last are APT to
tickle the amazingly. Several ladies were in de-
bate. going the .st-Lord so and so, Baron this
and that, &c MY fair friends,'' exclaimed the
gallant Lieutenant N, one of his titles you appear
10 have forgotten" "Ah," exclaimed tloG eagerly,
what is thas;' He is Barren Of Inefect.' was
the reply.
ExJoY A LAUGn-Who does not love to enjoy a
laugh Mt times, Where is the man or woman that
doesn't find il relief to smile and be happy And
xf,o Ia dulI hufb
heartily, well penned n well related jest Per-
hsps we have been blessed with an extraordinary
pseasan: dspositionand perhaps not; nevertheless,
We can laugh and enjoy it, too.
1t is now some years since the old styled hymns,
originally sung in the puritan churches, were laid
aside for the improved poems of Dr. Watts and others
But recollect good many stanzas that used
be deaconed off, line by line and sung by the
congregation, which emphatically amusing.
Imagine dear reader, meeting full Of people drawl-
ing ont the following, for instance
'The is not forever got
Nor With the ;ss ss,s u,, ss as:f .s Jnss,s nssp guns.
Now isn't that poetca' At least, there is strong
tincture truth in these homely lines, which be
commended o our !" FAST young men. The follow
ing lines addressed to the sun, chime very well with
the proceeding, although Of modern origin
All hail thou glorious Sum-
-, ssikh asa, as a new ~, tin. tin pan, an. ..u...
Ofbread and cheese man,
Then we have q touching allusion to the pomatum,
or Macassar, which Aaron swabbed his whiskers
With, On a certain occasion, ride the following:
IT'S like the precious ointment
Down Aaron's beard did
Aaron's beard It downward went,
garment skirts unto"
Ths coupIet is thrilling and mastery address
to whales, vampires, sharks. tomcod, halibus. SOUP
pog, ees, carpies, ct id genss-rsally beaut-
fnl verse to sing in church:
-Ye the bubbains deep,
Your Makers praises spout
Up from the ye coddlingy peep
And vag your tails about"
The quotations above are very weil known and have
been chaunted scores Of times.