Bellevue gazette. [volume] (Bellevue City, N.T. [i.e. Neb.]) 1856-1858, 1858-01-21
The Yankee and the Hoosier.

We were greatly amused al q dialogue
between a Down-enster and Roosier
from the West. The story is rather old
but we presume will be new to mos, Of
our readers. They were respectively
cracking up their own localities and rum
ming down their opponents. .........
AT length the Hoosier said:
"Our land is so rich--why you never
seed anything so rich in your life; why
how dye suppose we make our candles,
chi" .... ......... ........................
Don't know" said the Yankee.
ave DIP 'em in the mud puddle:,' said
the Hoosier. 4
"Yes," replied the Yankee "and l
guess there is so much mud in your Dig
gins that there isn't many places where a
nan could not dip candles in mud pud-
die. have heard of a man travelling in
your country all day long, in road where
the mud was SO deep that he couldn't DIS
kiver a glimpse of his legs for hours to-
gether." r.f...
"WelI, now, just tell us, Mr.. Yankee,
il it's fact wha. they do say about the
roughness of the roads down east. They
do say that there are so many stones in
the road, and the wagons do jolt up and
down so all-firedly, that the only way
people grind our plasters is by loading
the big pieces into wagon, and just dri-
wing at a moderate trot. over your roads,
aud that half a uile's drive win make all
into powder" at.-.tt
There's no doubt but we can touch
dry land occasionally on our roads. But
then If there are stuns in the road. the
traveller is never waylaid and his blood
taken by mosquitoes big as oysters" Il
"Tll tell ye what, stranger, they do
say there are whole counties down east,
where the stones are so thick that they
have to sharpen the sleeps noses so they
can get them between the rocks to eat
grass. Indeed, once heard some one
say that had travelled through your coun-
try, that he one day saw whole field of
men aud boys, standing Oh the rocks, each
on em letting q sheep down by the hiad
legs in among the rocks to feed. And in
another place he saw the farmers shoot
ing the grain in amol g the rocks 50 as to
take roo, and grow" s,-fT t-teeH
Wal, now, stranger, suppose you tell
us about your own country; you are the
only man ever see from the West that
didn't die of feverin' agur; lets see if you
know as much about the West as you
seem to know about the East" ai non
Well, old Yankee, I'll just tell you
all about it. If farmer in our country
plants the ground with cora, and takes
good care on it, he'll get hundred bush
els to the acre; and if he don't plant al
all he'll get fifty. The beets grow so
large that it takes three yoke of oxen to
pull up full sized one, and then it leaves
hole SO large that once knew family
Of five children who all tumbled into q
beet hole, and the earth caved in upon
them. and they all perished. When wall.
ed in. our beet holes make first-rate wells.
The trees are 30 large that once knew
a man who had commenced cutting one
down, and when he had cut away one
side for about ten days, he thought he'd
just take look rounk the tree. and when
he got round 'tother side, he found man
there who bad been cutting at il for three
weeks-and they'd never heard one an.
o.her's axes. have hard tell, yet
samewhat doubt that story, that the Ohio
parsnips have sometimes grown clean
through the earth, and been pulled through
by the people an 'toiher side" ..
Wal, now," said the Yankee, al
rather guess as you've told enough for the
present, stranger. How'd you like to
trade for some clocks 10 sell out west e.
Never use 'em-we keep time alto
gelher with punkin vines. You know
they grow Just five feet an hour and iha:'s
an inch minute. Don, use clocks at all.
It's no use, old Yankee, we can't trade no
how" .... ..... .... .....
The Yankee gave up beat, and sudden.
ly cleared out. ... ID ~ .... .......1.