The Council Bluffs nonpareil. [volume] (Council Bluffs [Iowa]) 1857-1867, 1858-09-04
JOE BOWERS WEDDING

! .s JOE BOWERS WEDDING. -r+ea4
The county of --, ---------, "away up in the
mountains, !" boasts of one Of the best Judges
in California. On the bench he is firm, de-
the finger for either the applause of friends,
or the mutterings of enemies. He is, per-
haps, the most devoted man to the law in
all creation, and has bis head so full of
what he terms Judicial talk that he not un-
frequently finds himself making learned
charges and passing sentence outside of the
court room.
On a recent occasion the judge was called
on to exercise the spower and authority IN
him vested in the case of young couple,
who desired to have their hearts united in
the holy band Of wedlock. Of course he
consented to perform the pleasing duty,
and on the appointed evening was promptly
on hand at the house at which the affair
was to come of. The room was crowded
by the beauty and fashion of the town, and
none looked more digni6ed or happy than
the judge himself, who was dressed within an
inch of his lifo. ..-
1t is customary on occasions of tho kind
referred to, for the good folks Of the noun
tain towns to pass around the wine quite
freely and to their everlasting credit, We will
add, they consider it no harm for one to
manifest his interest in the Joyous event by
getting 'lively.' The Judge is an ardent
admirer Of the fair sex, having in the course
of his life led the third one to the altar. To
use his own language, he is great believer
in weddings and that he should become q
little mellow amid the glorious scene Of the
evening, was not to be wondered at by those
who knew him intimately. He had the weak
ness Of all good judges. He would take his
'tod.'
The wine had passed round and round and
round. The music had ceased. The time
for making Joseph Bowers and Nancy Har-
kens one, had arrived. Every heart throb-
bed with the most delightful emotions. The
young gentlemen desired to know how Joe
would stand it, and the young ladies were
anious to see how sNance' would suffer the
the anxious shock. Others, again, who had
closely observed the turn of affairs during
the evening, fixed their attention upon the
Judge to see how he would come out of tho
scrape. .-.-
At length the trying moment was an
nounced, the judge arose very cautiously
from the chair which he had occupied in one
corner of the room and casting his eye over
the company, he recognized the sheriff of
the county, who was present rs an invited
guest. The judge had imbibed Just enough
to make him forget the nature Of Of bis busi-
ness. He was full of judicial talk and
required nothing but the presence Of the
sheriff to start him. Looking steruly at
the officer, he shouted:
Mr.. Sheriff, open the court and call Or
derp
A general twitter followed this command,
in the midst of which the sheriff took the
court gently by the arm, and led him to
his seat in the corner, at the same time
informing the august parsonage of his mis-
take.
Everything now bid fair for a pleasant
and sudden termination of the affair, until
another annoyance, which was nothing less
than the absence of the bridegroom, was
observed. 1t turned out that he had Just
stepped across the street to join his friends
in u parting drink, but before his return,
some cold-blooded wag had whispered into
the ear of our fogy the cause of 'delay in
proceedings Instantly the char in the
corner moved, and in that direction all eyes
were cast.
'Mr. Sheriff. slowly drawled the Judge,
bring sslaasf sslasf his 6aH-wGy pt0hou6ci6g the
word-then addressing the bride who stood
in the foreground, and hung her head in deep
confusion, he added: Il spose you're the
plaintiff. Well, don't take on. Innocence
and virtue will be protected by this here
COURT
This was the saddest blundcr of all. The
Judge was again made too see his mistake,
and would have been considerably set back,
had it not been for corrective in the shape
of 'forty drops Of the critter,' which he in
stantly applied.
In few moments all were ready in right
down earnest. The bridegroom had arrived,
full of joy. The company pressed forward.
The excitement was intense. The Judge
never looked so dignfed in his life. 4. He
evidently felt every inch Judge.
'J-J-o-e B-B.B-o-w-e-r-s,' commenced
the man of law, in that distressing style of
speech with which he was invariably troubled
when under the influence of liquor; 'J-J-o-e
B-B-B-o-w-e-r-s, stand up. Have y-y-you
anything to s-s-say w-w-why s-s-sen.t-tence
stop, stop, stop, judge shouted the
Sheriff, from the back part of the ROOM
'You are not to hang the man, but marry
him.
The Judge drew long breath and blinked
rapidly, but stood his ground we'll. Recov-
ering himself he proceeded:
'J-J-oe B-B-B- overs, do y-y-you t-t-take
Nancy lI-H- Harkens for y-y-your wife, SO
h. help you God =
This was tolcrable effort, and Joe nod
ded assent.
'N-N-Nancy Harkens, it now remains for
this here C-C-Court to"
Here the Sheriff again interrupted the
Judge, reminding him of the real business
of the evening.
Miss N-Nancy,' resumed the Judge, after
being set right, 'd-d-do y-y-you tt take j.
J-Joe B-B- Bowers for husband, tito the
best Of your knowledge and belief, or d-d-do
you not?'
sYou bet!" softly answered tho light
hearted Nancy.
The Judge then took the hands of the hap.
py couple, and joining them, wound up the
business as follows:
slt now r-r-remains for this h-h-here &C
Court to pronounce you J-J-Joe Bowers,
and y-y-you, Nancy Harkens, man and wife;
and (hcre the Judge paused to wipe the
perspiration from his face 'm-may &C.
G. Or-mity h-h-have mercy on y.y.your
s-s-souls! Sheriff remove the culprits.
The company roared. Joe and Nancy
weakened. The Sheriff was taken with
leaving. The Judge let himself out loose
in glass of apple-jack. TWAS the greatest
wedding ever witnessed. .-..
ADVENTURES OF: A BUFFALO EDITOR.
The Albany knicke,bocker gives chap
ter containing the recent history Of the ad
ventures, and hair breadth Escapes Of one Of
tho fraternity in this city, which is as inter-
esting as it is unexpected and astonishing.
The | Kniekerboeker says: "The editor Of the
is all very well, but why does not our Buff
falo friend tell of one of his own ''stunning
movements2' The editor of the Buffalo
Times was at Gloversville with Barnes
While standing on little knoll, his hat
m ~ Lot I,c: 4