The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1858-03-19
IIi.ANKS,

fork Of Ager creek, and it was a good
mill and ground site OF grain, but the
man what built it was a miserable sinner,
and never civ anything to the church
and my breethering, one night thar come
a dreadful storm Of wind and rain and the
fountains of the great deep was broken up
and the waters rushed tlo%n and swept
that mans mill-dam into kingdom come,
and 10 and behold, in the morning when
he cot up he found he was not worth
dam. Now, my young brccthcring, when
storms Of temptation ovcrtake ye, take
care y)u don't ftF from grace and become
ike that mans mili-not worth dam
for they shall gnaw a file and flee unto
the mountains Of lIcpSidam, whar the
lion roarcth and the wang-doodle mourn
eth fer its frst-born"
"Whsr the liJn roarcth and the wang
doodle mourncth for its frst-born." This
part of the teyt, my brecthering, is anoth-
or iggcr Of speech, and isn't to be taken
as it says. u dosn't mean the howlin'
Wilderness, whar John the hard shell Bap.
tist was fed on locusts and wild asses, but
it means my brecthering, the city of New
Iorleans, the mother Of harlots and hard
lot-wlIhr corn is worth SIX bits bushel
one day, and nary red the next; whar
integers are a5 thick az black bugs in 4
spoiled bacon ham, and gamblers, thieve.
and pickpockets go skitting about the
streets like wcasels in barn yard-whar
they have crcam-colorcd horses, silded
carriages, marble saloons with brandy and
sugar in 'cm-whar honest men are scar
Ger than hens teeth, and straacc wo-
man once tux in jour beluv-cl preacher
and bamboozled him out of two-hundrcd
and twenty seven dollars in the twinklin'
of Sleeps tail; but she can't do it
again. IIallalujah. for "thcy shall gnaw
a file and flee unto the mountains of Hep
sidam, I-har the hon roareth and the
wang-doodle noUrnelh for i,s frst-born"
My brccthcring | am captain of tha.
hat-boat you see tied up thar, and I've
got aboard of her -four, bacon, oats, pota-
toes and apples, and as good Monongchely
whiskcy as ever you drank; and I'm
mighty apt to sit a big price for it all
r But what, oh, my breothcring would il
all be wuth if haden't rclidgin? Thar
eutAin like relidgin, my breethcring. It:
better nor silver and gold jimcracis, and
} you can no more get to heaven without it
than a jay bird can fly without tail
Thank the Lord I'm an uneddicated man
my brcething, but I've searched the scrip
lures from Dan 10 B-arshobcc, and founC
, vll HiUn right r-iIe ~, onl h.-d shAll re-
lidgin the best of all relidgins. And it
not like the Methodists what expect =,
git into heaven by hollcrin hell-fre, no
ike the Univcrsslists what gifts upon th'
broad gage and goes the Whole hog; no
J. the United Brccthcring what takes cacl
| other by the scat of the britches and try
to lift themselves into heaven; nor-. TIL
: Catherlicks what buys thru tickets from
D their pricsts-but it may be likened, IN,
| breethcring, unto 4 man what hal 10 eros
! a river, and when he got thar thc fcrr
! boat was gone and he Just rolled up hi
britches and wadcd over-hallelujah fo
}, "they shall gnaw file and flee unto tn
Il mountains of IIopsidam, whar the lio
roareth and the wang-doodlc mournctl
e for It's frst-61rn "
e Pass the hat, brother Finn, mi Ie
c every hard-shcll shell out. Amen