Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, Va. [W. Va.]) 1852-1859, 1858-09-25
WHEEI
THE INTEIIlIGENCER.
RRasnses rom Panch.
rnE SENIOR wRANa1ER ro as !

form.
Cliarmer, on a given straight line,
And which we will call BIC,
Meeting at a common point a,
Draw the lines AC., ALB.
But, my sweetest, so arrange it,
That they're equal, all the three;
Then you'll find that, in the SEQUEL.
All their angles toetare equal.
Equal angles, so to term them,
Each one opposite its brother!
Equal joys and equal sorrows,
Equal hopes, twere sin to smother,
Equai-oh, divine ccstatics-
Based on Hutton's mathematics!
AEv1cE (WoRrH MInlloSs) GnArIs.-Everv
man should keep the wolf from the door, and
his mother-in-law too, if he can Every woman
has right to be any age she pleases, for il she
were to state her real age no one would believe
her. Every one who can, has a right to wear
moustache. Every woman who makes puddings
has perfect right to believe.that she can make
better pudding than any other woman in the
world Every man who carves has a decided
right to think of himself by putting few of the
best bits aside. Every woman has right to-
think her child the "prettiest little baby in the
Torld," and it would be the greatest folly to
deny her this right, for she would be sure to
take it. Every young lady has right to faint
when she pleases, if her lover is by her side 10
catch her. Every fool has right to be on the
er fool who differs with him about those terms.
Every child who makesa noise, has q right to
be turned out of the room; and, supposng you
have not the right, you are perfectly justified,
fits parents are absent in usurpingit.
To ASCERTAIN TIE NUNBER OF YOUR ENEMIES.
Publish book.
BENEFIT OF CLERGY.-The conduct of Greslcy
s. Co., and the other reverend gents who are
trying TO introduce the confessional into the
English Church, has been palliated by kindly
and tolerant butfoon on the ground Of being
clerical error.
THE REcoII OF THE SEASON.
Here we sit within our office; where it is shall
not say
But from Downing street, I'll own, it's not
hundred miles away.
Here VIC sit-TitZfuke and Quaver, Montmorcn-
cy Blades, and T.
Very limp, and very languid, slipping bitters on
the sly.
And we look back on the season, as ourileGye-
time isn't come,
And our social views are bitter, and our Lam
gauge grave and gum,
And we feel like Cockney sportsmen, who, in
loading of their guns,
Not familiar with the manner. .in.which thepow-
der runs
From the flask, DER load their pieces, till so
z=-.-@ frigh4fltl ths7recnil, ss.s.s1sss5s,essz3
That 1t lays them sadly spraying in the stub
bles ON the SOIL
Yes, Fitz9uke, and Blades, and Quaver, we con- .
fess it. one and all,
We=the season overloaded, Pratt's and Green
wch; ront and ball;
Doubled-burreed Operas going; dfatinees six
nights week
Marvel not if we look sallow, limp and languid,
wan and weak.
Many a morning we have seen the sun rise DER
against Grelnoine,
Many morning down the area have we seen the
milk cans borne;
Many morning from our door sills have we
scared the wakelnl cat
Found the rush-light in the socket burnt out ON
the passage natl
Yes, our seasonwe o'erloaded, and just now we
feel the kick;
And our eyes are sunk and sodden, and of pleas.
ure we are sick.
Sick ofoperas sick of concerts, sick Of dinners,
sick of drums,
Sick of office hours and labor sick for leave that
slowly COMES,
oh, what boots it thee, my Quaver, that thou
hadst two Opera stalls?
What remains. of ~ Balen, :" Beriam,' and
other Verdi squalls2
Tired you are of 1rucidta, tired of 7fGrdtore
too;
Triply tired of Rigoletto, heard and reheard
through and through.
What to you, Fitzhuke the Punter-what of
good from Pratt's rernains2
0fyour canons off the cushion, of your losses,
ofyour ruins?
What have Richmond dinners brought you,
Montmorency Blades my friend,
What Trafalgar wtlitebait parties, and pink bon
nets without end?
And, for me, that, like my fellows, strove to
cram four months in one
Eating. drinking, dancing, flirting, still from set
to oriseof Sun
What remains bnt.indigestion, shaky hand and
sodden eye,
Ticks in plenty, ready money ineonyenien'ly
Constant thirst for Brighton Seltzer, and forbit
ters sharp and strong,
And the sense that life is hollow, and that Office
hours arc long,
How TO MAKE. A LADY STICK OUT HER LITTLE
FlNGER.-The best way of securing this effect is
TO put on the finger in question handsome dia-
mond ring. The mere desire to display the dia-
lmond to the best ndvantGgeis sure to make the
lady stick out her little tfngerin the most charm
ling manner possible When the effect begins
Ito FAIL substitute another ring of greater brill
fancy. Success must attend these repeated
efforts
GREAT variety Coral Beads; New style Port Moneys;
Hooksand Reels. taug14l PAYNE ( CO.
~ Winsorl On1nibus-Just5 received , {. -