The Abbeville banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1847-1869, 1858-02-11
BOOTS THAT WOULDN'T COME OFF

vi oliC l'''ii'0lDollS, anu 11OJ 10 inc
legs thereof, rs i'll this instance Of bci g
strapped. Most Of our readers arc
aware that an old fashion Of fastening
ones legs on by strapsto his paniaoons
passing under his feet, is about to be
revived. This fashion is not now so
absurd as it used to be, for Linton, Of
the Amphithcatrc, having inaugu-
rated the new style OF walking with
the feet up, it becomes II necessity
that people SO walking should have
$uspcidcrs on that end Of their rania-
looms which is ippcrinost, to liccptlcm
from slipping down. 50 straps in
this wise arr wise. We don't say
iha; ill" party who was in ,hc fol-
Iowim" 'InclHmcholv rrclicamrnt was
in the hal walking !,rt npp"r,no>I:
but we 'lr say that on the orcsipn il!
p';rSinm iic w;:; inclined ~ feel II,
for the %round: tha, he walked home
8 '.itclin" up for the ground" amt not
exactly kno"i,:" which end he was
st;mdin%un. Thcscarc holiday times.
He has Il wife or, Il wiz. h:,s him.
and she told lis tic story. H. came
home in the small hours. and found
his way1o his apar,rrrui his r.;l.'s
arartnicnt and h,yan tn n,Lc mrr.
para,ions ior rctiriu~ Lv s,i,.kin, hi,
foot into Il booiia"k with the design of
rcmovin" his loo, no, leaving his foot
lmmov"h!c al'l rr,novin" his foot from
it-hs niYl, capped su,,Isc w,,,.I;nm
the operation and his eccentric move,
mcms about the room with INDIGNANT
regards. With some ado l., su, ,.r,lrJ
in Inserting his foot into the bootia,.k
and made Il dcSpcratcpull The it,nr,
was utterly aln,rliyc, aiI viii, 1h,.
samc no rr<,l!, Was several Times re-.
pcatc,!. lie became desperate. icrlr,
and pulled himself into = fever of rv.
cilcmcnl. and finally turned to his
wilr with:
":Scc hcrc--hic,-old lady. lin
lic 10 bed with nv boots ON
-hic. am ccrtai,.-h;y.-.cc.c
old lady,"
'You'rc coming to bed with Your
boots on, arc Won. Mr.! \-ou ar,.,::
screamed the Indignant lady, who had
been anNiouSlv awaiting hi.s co,,jn"
something serious llal lan.
rcnc,l TO her absent lord. and lou!I
that he was only seriously incbriatrl.
and that her anxiety for his safety
had been wasted 'lor, arc comin~
to bed with your boots on, arc Won,
You are Intoxicated, sir. You have
been of on Il spree, sir! Take of
your boots, sir You can, come into
this bel with them on, sir -
''Im c-conin- 10 bed with my Lno,s
madam! | must! | c.c;u't
=. 'cI';,'''uI"''' ~; ,r, a'''' ! 'n''S''Sl lay
,,... H. "''' '''''I ''i'
hnnrl;., Wv ''''''>'N''
"You arc ,;nl,t--,n,, ,r,. ,7,,,.,l.
sir! Iou ornhl TO be ashamed of
yourself for coming home in that
and the wife arose to sec
II size c"'i'dh uo something To relieve
1''- i I'"'','' 'i'0at'' c'Ic'''',T''''ccS "i hcr
''''uo i''.''''' .'ri '''c''u"c"
rho ,,.n ,,,I .Jn,a:r.,Ja ant ,,nn',,,
10 DC lCiStltu With.
"Mr.- you'd better unbutton
either .vonr SuSpcndcrs or Your straps
or yo!lIi never get your boots OH, sir.
Al 'l,'s Nf.-' with the a'n'ab!c pm!
ni'nH l, ~ i' q ',l'>S 1'i':'' 20 very angry
,l,r Lu,n;j,,,;m,, ,,n'.....,,,. ~ 't.I t'1';,,
his wir;.'s aIyicr IIr h"l n,,r.L,.nI
and worn for the first lime that I,v
Il pair Of the new l;,nylcd strapped
pamaloons.
I'm -ll1ban.u PoiitcuI .Jokr,..-Thcy tell
!, good many political Jokes Of our nci-hbors
now occupying the ancient lands OF the Ala.
bamas, among them the following:
An out and out party man, a landlord,
who had accommodated his nol;,;,.J friends
lor twenty Years, happened to 6" into Il
convention just rs they had
finished their business and heard littln I