The daily exchange. [volume] (Baltimore, Md.) 1858-1861, 1858-03-23
From Punch.
IMAGINARY CONVERSATION.

IMAGINARY CONNERSATlON.
THE EARL D-----Y. LORD Sly.
Lord D.--Io have been looking my list oil
ministers-my Correct Garland do not observe,
Edward, that expression of lively satisfaction which
good news should mpart to the countenance OF the
philanthropist.
Lord S.-My dear father, there is certainly
good deal to be said for these personsfor some OF
them at least. Yes, on looking again, ! may OBJ
serve, unhesitatingly that there is nothing to be
said against several of them.
Lord D. laughing Then don't look any more,
please if looking sets you that sliding scale of
praise. l am sure that have made very good
Cabinet.
Lord S.-Tho very best that can be made out of
our materials.
Lord D.-A much better than the one which
you gentlemen of the Commons have been pleas
ed to kick over. To begin, there is better Prem
Ter, Ell?
Lord S. Laughing. OF course my dear father,
English earl is better than an Irish viscount.-
But, filial admiration apart there can be doubt
that in several of your appointments the country
gets the services of better men than the last.
Lord D-My chancellor, besides being one of the
mostpopular men in London, is surely an improve
ment on Lord Cranmother
Lord She knows nothing of Chancery, and he
hates the Jews.
Lord D.-Both virtues in their way. Well, then
Peterborough succeeds Mr.. Vernon Smith.
Lord Slow good DR.. johnson is in the Gre
jected Addresses about the ''half-reasoning Ele-
plant, parent of combs
Lord D..Nelly will do nothing: by halves, you
First Lord than Sir Charles Wood.
Lord S.-Sir John is frst-rate man, and has
given me two surprises; first, that he should take
the Admiralty, and secondly that he should take
anything
Lord D.-Entre nous, thought he would have
made waiting of it, but that's his business.
He disqualifes himself from some other running
which people supposed he would have made. So be
it. Now, instead of your namesake, there's Hen
Lord S.-"Humbeby, Grumbleby's grave as an
owl:
All the day long he does nothing but growl"
very good man of business, though he is not likely
to be COMPOUNDED in history with Orator Henley.
Lord d. had a great mind to offer him Ben
ley-on-Thames
Lord Sand so John Manners is to cleanse the
Thames. know one way in which he never do it.
Lord D.-By setting it on fire, eh ? No. But if
things go right, mean to give him good start
into popularity. Ben Hall has made park for the
people, and stuck up bridge with toll to keep
them out of it, Johnny shall pitch the tolls over.
Lord S.-Allow me to congratulate you on your
Privy Seal.
Lord Dwell, he is a Rear-Admiral, and he
is not Clanricarde don't know much else to be
said for Hardwicke.
Lord S.-Walpole for Grey.
Lord D:wCateris parib9s-whieh we may say
an earl, mother an earPs daughter.
Lord S.-But Sir George is ears nephew, and
the family dates back to the twelfth century, if
honors count at a round game.
Lord Doh, highly respectable of course. But
everybody likes Walpole, and nobody likes t'other
man. | mustn't make any Jokes before Walpole
though, he'll be Incorporating them into acts of
parliament, as he did about my proposing to give
votes to militia men.
Lord S.-There was no choice for you in the case
of your Foreign Minister, but that's about the worst
in the whole list. Malmesbury is believed by the
public to have the most abject veneraton for Con-
tinental despots.
Lord D.-And Palmerston was believed by the
public to have the feryid hatred Continent
al despots.
Lord S.-Perhaps you'll pardon my saying, my
dear father that the answer is of those exceed
ingly neat which are far too clever to be con-
vincing
Lord Dwell, then, I'll tell you Mamesbury
has not quarter of Clarendons brains, and he
head by his betters. But he is an honest fell
low, and very humble to me- People shouldn't
abuse him.
Lord 81 never heard anybody ascend to abuse
him-but he is one of necessities, let him pass.
Gen. Peel for Lord Panmure.
Lord OVAL, calculate Brother Jonathan amt
no green hand, and can fix things almighty smart
when he likes tew. Yes, Stree.
Lord S.-You initiate the Americans excellently
my dear father, and it is lucky, for one of these
days you will have to initiate them little more.
Lord D-Church rates and on, eh? Well,
when the time comes l hope shall be UP to nv
work Who bowled over ten Irish bishops at go,
my boy? That was bowling worthy the Ameri-
can Alley, fatter myself
Lord S.-Fitzroy Kelly instead of Bethe is
heavy against us-apple pips for pearls.
Lord DYES, almost; but then the pearls used
to come as if the giver felt he casting them be-
fore swine. Now, our mans very civil and agreea-
bic, and nearly persuades people that his pips come
out of the tree of knowledge.
Lord Sand Cairns is worth good many of
Heating. don't know whether the latter makes
the cough ozenges that bear his name, but he GER
tainly makes his audience want them.
Lord Dwell, Eglington will be liked in Ire
land. He's bit of sham, but he goes to do sham
work-tiltng, as he did at his Astley's Circus bust
ness, with lances half sawn through Isn't he bet
ter than Carlisle?
Lord S.-Better looking, anyhow Colchester
for the Duke of Argyle at the Post Office?
Lord Dyes. l said that India the place
for Colchester as he would feel paternaly towards
the Natives; but he would neither laugh nor co.
He's another Rear-Admiral-I put 'em anywhere
but at the Admiralty.
the BETTER and if that had anything to do with the
stability of the cabinet, it would, as you said, be
matter for philanthropic exultation.
Lord D.-Why, my dear Edward, if the cabinet
stands, set If it don't, the leader of the Conserva-
tives has tried to feed his hungry and clamorous
friends, and the fault is not his if he fails. dare
say that BUSTING division will neither lame Toro-
phitite for May spoil the cartridges for Septem
Der. But notice one thing, and that is, that you
have made no reference to one very important or,
least, self important person. Do you put him down
as loss or gain to the country? Eli, ma fear9
Lord 81 shall ask you to let me take a hint
from Master Slender, for once-and to keep Mum
when he cries Budget.
Lord D.-Use your discretion, but people like
steady light after fireworks. And what do you say
for our new Secretary of State for the Colonies
Lord She only hopes that Lord Derby may
have half good a one as Lord Grey had in
1884.
Lord D.-Ha! ha! Thanks, my dear boy; but Pm
afraid you'll get such chance as had That
was the time of the great fall of blacks, when the
people paid twenty millions to wash their hands of
them, and managed the business. But nobody
knows. And so, on the whole, you think l have
handicapped the animals pretty fairly? Very good
then, we'll start EN- and what is it-occupat ectre-
mum scabice-or as we say more elegantly in Eng
fish, the devil take the hindmost