Anti-slavery bugle. [volume] (New-Lisbon, Ohio) 1845-1861, 1858-07-31
A SERMON FOR THE TIMES.
BY A HARD SHELL BAPTIST,

d n mann ~
My Beloved Bre.bring: | am an unlarnt hard
shell Baptist preacher, Of whom you've no doubt
heern aiore, an d ! now appear here to ex pond the
Scriptures and pint out the narrer way which
leads from a vain world to Juroosalem, and my
text which | shall choose for tue occasion is in the
leds Of the Bible, somewhere between the Second
Chronikils and the last chapter Of Timothy Titus,
and when you find it, you will find it in these
words
And they shall gnaw n file and fee unto the
mountains of llepsidam, where the lion roareth
and the wang'dOOdle mourneth for its first. born"
Now, my brethring, as l have before told you.
l am an unedicated man, aud know nothing about
grammar talk and colliige hiialootin; but I'm o
plain unlarnt preacher of the Gospil. what's been
ioreordained, and called to expound .criptes&o q
dyin' world, and prepar q peryerse generation for
the da2 of wrath; for they shall gnaw a file and
flee unto the mountains of llepsidam, where the
lion roareth and the wang-doodle mourneth for it's
first born"
My beloved bTethering, the text says they shall
''gnaw a 6le." 1t don't say they may, they shall.
Aud now there's morn one kind o file. There's
the hand-saw file, rat-tail file, double file and
profile; but the kind Of file spoken of here isn't
one of them neither, for it is a fgger of speech,
my brethering, and means guin' it alone and get
a ting ukered; Tor they shall gnaw a file and fee
y unto the mountains of Hepsidam, where the lion
roareth and the wang-doodle mourneth for its
= frst.born."
$ And now there be some here with fine close on
IS their backs. brass rings on their fingers, and lard
/ on their heads, what z oes it while they're young;
and thar be others here what, as long as their
r constitutions and forty cent whiskey last, goes i.
d blind; and thar he sisters here what, when they
"a get sixteen years old, cut their tiller ropes and
goes it with a rush; but | say, my dear ~brethring
take care you don't find when Gabril blows his
IF trump, that you've all went it alone and got uker.
d ed; for "they shall gnaw a file and flee unto the
prnt,ntnina nT lIpnSitnm uhura tho linn ron AL
20 and the wang doodle m0urneth for its hrst.born
e And, my brethring, there's more dams besides
to Hepsidam. There's Rotterdam, Amsterdam
Haddam, mill'dam aud don't care.a.dam-th
last Of which. my dear brethering. is the worst Of
ms all, and reminds mt Of a circumstance | once
in knew in the state of lllinoy. Thar was q mar
IN what built a mill on the east fork of Agur creek
ut and it ground a sight of grain, bnt the man tina
built it was II miserable sinner. and never give
~ anything to the church; and, my brethering, one
night there come 4 mighty storm Of wind anc
rain, aud the fountains of the great deep wa,
broken up, and the water rushed down and swep
that mans milldam into KinedumCome, and 10
ne and behold, in the morning when he got up, h,
he found he was not worth a dam. Now, my dea,
he b%rethring. when the storms of temptations over
he takes ye, take care you don't fail from grace, an,
an become like that mans mill, not worth a dam
We for "shey shall gnaw a file and fee unto the noun
h tains of Hepsidam, where the lion roareth an,
IN, the wang doodle mourneIh for it's frst.born."
NJ "Whar the lion roareth and the wang doodl
..n mourneth for its frst.born."
This part of the text, my brethering, is anotbe
fgger Of speech, and isn't to be taken as it saws
II dosn't mean the howlin' wilderness. where JOIN
the hard shell Baptist was fed on locusts an,
vs wild asses, but it means, my brethring, the cit
Js Of New Orleans, the mother of harlots and hard
;aI lOts-whar corn is worth six bits a bushel on
day and nary red the next: whar niggers ar
n. thick as black bugs in a spoiled bacon ham. an,
gamblers, thieves and pickpockets go skittin
~ about the streets like weasels 10 a barn ward :
,Is whar they have cream,colored horses, gilded car
riages, marble saloons with brandy and sugar il
'em-whar honest men are scarcer than hem
teeth, and a strange woman once took 10 your be
loved preacher and bamboozled him out of tw
4. hundred and twenty' dollars in the twink
ling OF a Sleeps tail, but she can't do il again
'rs hollelujah for they shall gpaw a file and fe
unto the mountains of uepsIdam, where tn
40 lion roareth and the wang-doodle mourneih for il
M frst'born."
Ike My b~rethring, I I'm captain Of that fat.boa
ey you see tied up thar, and I've got aboard of he
-four, bacon and oats, and as good Monongehal
20. whiskey as you ever drunk; and | am mighty ap
ill to get a big price for it all. But what. oh M
in bretheriDg, would it all be worth if / hadn't rt
10. ligion. Thsr's nothing like religion, my brett
ad ring. It's better nor silver and gold jimcracks
and you can no more get TO heaven without il tina
bs n jay bird can fly without a tail. Thank the Ior
nd I'm an unedicated7man, nv brethring. but ~
va sarched the ~scripters from Dan TO Burshsbee. an
r. found old Zion right side up. and the hard .shel
religin. Bot it's not like the Methodist wha
expects to git into heaven by hollerin' hell fire
lie nor like the Universalist what gifts upon the broa
ed gague and goes the whole hog; Uor like the Unite
by Brethren what takes each other by the seat of IN
IN. trowsers and tries to lift themselves into heaven
at nor like the Catholics what buys thar tickets iron
thar preest-but it may be likened, my bretherine
A to a man who had to cross a river, and when h