Sugar planter. [volume] (West Baton Rouge [i.e. Port Allen, West Baton Rouge Parish, La.]) 1856-1925, 1858-05-08
PART III. POLITICAL AND EPIC GASTRIC-

PART III. POLITICAL AND EPIGAsTR1c-
| An other opportunity presented itself,
! and the Major eagerly embraced IT.
The Democratic party proposed having
a grand barbecue in celebration cf the
late victory, aud subscriptions were being
taken up for furnishing The materials
lie magnani1nously y resolved to subscribe
his jackaSs. - BeIng,7 as he Observed
to the person who solicited his subscrip-
tiop, "indebted entirely to the event to
be celebrated to the acquisition Of 50
valuable piece of property, he could
| dono less than give the party the bene-
/ tit of it; the committee Of arrangements
could sell the Jack for whatever they
pleasetl, and apply The uho2s Of the pro
ceetls TO defraying the expenses of the
barbecue: AMI, if he might venture to-
make the suggestion he had no doubt
bis jackass would furnish music fer the
occasion"
The subscription list was completed,
sent to the committee Of arrangements,
and reads as follows:
We, the undersigned, agree to furn-
sh the articles subscribed, for the pur-
pose Of having Il free barbecue, III cee
br:ation Of the late Democratic victory
IN this State.
Subscribers. 1irtic}es.
Z. 3. Smith, ..... bag flour.
Munf'd Moore, -. busheI meal.
Sesth Ve>tal, $500. l. qurrter beet.
Aaron Goodwyni >. sI1nat,
Major Jones, ......1 Jackass,
&c. DC, &c.
Il has been truly said by distinguish
ad author, that it is hard case to write
u book. and then have to furnish the
public with bralns to understand it,
i'ue public is stupid, provvrbia]Iy--com-
,Dittees ares generalIy--ttls committee
was SO particularly; for insseat! OF lhsuk-
ing tbs Major for bis magnificent dona-
ton, and thereby again furnishing edi-
torla! materials, they addressed him q
nule--wElct WAS never publishe cd |
- wishing to know if be intended for un~
terrified Democrats TO eat barbecued |
jackass e. and informing him, moreover,
* that us1le~s lie could make a satistacto~ |
~ apology, he would not be allowed to |
sI'eak on tbs approaching occasion."n
The MINOR apoogized, and kept his
jack, whose voice in the meantime, had, [
by severe practice, Improved SO much |
IN depth and volume, that the town All
GIorItle> had taken the matter in hand.
and ordered the constable to treat i'm ;s
Il nuisance, and have him removed forth
wrtl.
His owner begged a weeks respite,
aud AS the barbecue came off within
that time, he was satisfied that among
!he ten tt tll!'osasssand people to be present
be could dispose Of that jack. The
sventful day arrived, and the Major, has-
ng giyen orders that his jack should be
rubbed down and brought on the scene
If the barbecue in p" fu!i segaIia," repair
Il tiIither himself.
The speaking had commenced, and the
MajoE SAT at the root Of a tree, deeply in-
nersed in his own great speech, which
WAS next in the programme, when one
# the MarshaIIs tapped him on the
shoulder, and Informed him, " that he
must remove his i'lustrious quad uped
rom the grounds forthwith" All iu&lie~
rant reply was on his lips, when the
veil known voice suote upon bis ear.--
lis jack WAS approaching. Led by a .
larkey, and cI' Tied in a scarlet blanket
hat swept The ground On e,ther side as
le t'osted along, The little fellow bad be-
one SO excited by the crowd Of animals
III every side, that al! his previous efforts
t voca.'zatIon were completely eclipsed.
jupiter Tomas! he nus . furnishing mu-
ic for tI4e occasion,' with Il vengeance, /
he cooks rested from their Iabors tie
udleace rose en- naasse; the speaker
topped in the middle Of q sentence, q
on>igniug the Know Notl,iugs to an l.
variastIpg residence OIL the head waters
t salt river; and all eyes were turned y
} the direction wAenca the interruption
roceed,
and still they gazed, and still the wonder y
grew,
hat one small ass could such an uproar
breWn J.
lmu1edlate measures. were taken for
eIivE. 1t WIS suggested that, as an ass
annot bray without eIevating his tail
onsideraI'ly, g heavy rock be attached .
, that member. THIS plan was quickly a
arriesl 'ulo operation; bnt, also 1t was t;