Muscatine weekly journal. [volume] (Muscatine, Iowa) 185?-1890, 1858-06-19

life with that Of man, is the great
event Of your history, and if this be no,
through the natural affini;ies, sympa-
thies and paptialities-that passion Of
your soul which Heaven intended should
be called into exercise by manhood
then is it only a conventional union,
and no union in fact. Love, then,
say, is the essential thing, and yet love,
as have said before, is only one thing.
There may be in the man who excites
the hottest and strongest passion of
your nature, many things which, if you
value peace-if you value your own
purity, even-should lead you to pluck
that passion from your breast, and turn
your back upon its object, that Gods
light may rest upon your brow, even if
sorrow makes darkness in your heart.
In the consideration of worldly cir
cumstances, be wise. Remember that
if your lover be intelligent, healthy,
the master Of a business or q profession,
he stands many more chances to die in
the possession of wealth and compe.
tence than he would if rich now, and
without settled business and settled
purposes. I have watched the result of
many matches, and have seen ten
which started with a fortune to be ac-
quired, turn out we'll in worldly point
of view, where | have seen one result
happily, starting with the fortune made.
If a young man is honorable, intelli
gent, industrious and manly in every
respect, and you love him, marry him.
There is no power under Heaven that
has moral right to stand between you
and your happiness. Many poor
girl who married for money, now pines
in poverty, and covets the position of
girls whose wiser choice she once con-
temped. speak in this way for two
reasons The first is that it is not on
ly your right but your duty to consider
whether life Of certain poverty will
be compensated by a life of association
with the man you love. The second is
that when you take the matter into con-
sideration you should make your judy
ment upon a sound basis. Wealth in
hand, without business habits, business
tastes and business interests, is the most
unreliable thing in the world. 1t may
spoil good lover, and in time trans
form him into u loafer or a sot. On
the contrary, good business habits, good
character, enterprise, ambition-all
these combined-are almost sure to
secure competence and success. If you
would rely on anything, rely on these,
for they are the only reliable things
Misfortunes may deal harshly with
these, but that is the business Of Prov
idence. ........
I fancy one reply that may be made
to all this wise talk. Women practi-
cally have comparatively little choice
in the matter. They grow up from the
cradle with the idea that it is a horrible
thing to live and die an old maid. That,
in the mind of half the girls, is the
most terrible thing in all the world
They can abide anything better than
that. So they feel a kind Of an obi
cation to jump at the first offer; they
are so much afraid they shall never
have another. Let them remember that
a mismated life is much worse than an
minated life. 1 believe that marriage
is the true condition, and that no man
nor woman can fully enjoy life unmar-
ried; but l know they will be more I'M
happy if they are badly matched than
if not matched at all. But women have
more choice than they think, and would
have still more than they do if their in
tercourse with young men were placed
upon the basis indicated in my last let
ter. Most young women study the
character of men but little, because they
have but little opportunity. They see
comparatively few, and, through the
character of their intercourse, know
them very incompletely. 1t is sin
and shame that young women enjoy
such inferior opportunities Of learning
the character Of young men-of weigh
ing, comparing and judging them. 1t
is shame that they have no more OPP
portunities for a choice. My own wife
very fortunately got an excellent hus-
band, but it is something for which she
is to be grateful to an overruling Prov
idence, for her own knowledge had
very little to do with it. [ could have
cheated beyond all account. I tell you
men want watching, and studying for
some years, before you find them out,
and it becomes you to run fewer risks
han the most Of your sex run in this
business. 1t is a good deal of step
this getting married, and l am anx-
Gus that you shall know great many
men, that you shall get the one you
owe, that he shall be worthy of you,
md that you shall be happy all the
lays Of your life.