Meigs County telegraph. [volume] (Pomeroy [Ohio]) 1848-1859, 1858-04-20
Git-Nits.

SET Stohe up over us grave.
EH-When does modification ensue?-l
When you pop the question and are an
swered mo"
EF-"Corn bread?" said the waiter; 1--WE
hlve not got it; an isn't corn bafe ye
mane?"
re-" An auctioneer, vexed with his audi
ence, said: IL am mean fellow-mean as
drt-and feel ut home in this company"
EY-Dean Swift truthfully remarked,
that it is useless to attempt to reason a
man out of thing he has never been
reasoned into"
Rel bought these boots to wear only
when 90 into gcnteel society,"" ''Then
they will be likely to last you lifetime,
and be worth something to your heirs"
ES-John's wife and John were tete-a-
tcte. She witty was, Industrious he; says
John. "I've earned the bread we've ate;"
land l." says she, "have urned the tea"
ED-Mrs. Rugg. a widow. having taken
and being asked by friend how she liked
the change, replied, "Oh, l have got rid
Of my old Rugg for good Price"
ES-A Yankee lady pictures a good
man as zone who is keerful of clothes,
don't drink sperits, kin read II Bible 'thout
spellin' the words, and kin eat cold din
ner on washdays to save the women folks
from cookin'."
Az attorney before bench of mag
istrates. a short time ago, told the bench,
with great gravity
THAT he had two witnesses in court in
behalf of his client, and they would be
sure to speak the truth, for he had had no
opportunity to communicate with them!"
EF-It is perhaps not generally known
that Washington drew his last breath in
til last hour of the last day of the last
week in the last month of the year, and in
night. twelve o'clock, December the thirty
first, 1899.
@-The American lady, who outshone
the French Empress at one of the recep-
tions, is said to have nearly ruined her
husband in the achievement. However,
she was called "the best dressed woman
of the party" A kind ofglory like that
Of Dandy Jim, "the best dressed niggel
in Caroline"
~The following pertinent question
was addressed to a lawyer
''lf distance lends enchantment to the
view, and the view refuse to return it, can
distance obtain any legal redress?'
l.
receives a retainer.
EE-A married lady who was very fond
of her husband, notwithstanding his ex.
treme ugliness of person, once said to q
witty acquaintance, "What do you think
my husband has gone and laid out fifty
dollars for large monkey. on purpose tc
please me-"
"The dear little man." cried the other
"well, 4 is just like him.
ER~The cause OF ladies' teeth decayine
at so much earlier stage of life than those
Of the other sex has been usually attribu
ted to tho friction of the teeth produced
by the action of the tongue. 1t has, how
ever, been suggested with much gallantry
that it is owing to the saOeetness of Mei
popular belief, that street. things spoil h
teeth.
EE rhe following rich scene rec entl,
occurred in one Of our courts of justice
between tie Judge and Ouch witness
all the way from Rotterdam:
J.-What is your native language?
WI be no native.
Whats your mother tongue?
W.-lch had no muter, mynheer.
J.-(In an irritable tone.) What di,
you first learn? What language did yo,
speak in the cradle?
W.-Ich It'd not speak no language il
tie cradle; only cry in Dootch!
Then there was n general laugh, i
which the judge, jury and audience joined
The witness Nas in;errogated no fuTthe
about his native language.
AN OLD STORY WITH New ArPLIcA
rIoN-A good story is told Of negr
who had great desire to be cOnverte
under the preaching Of Whitfield. Nc
being acquainted with the physiognom
Of that eminent divine, his question, when
ever he heard discourse, "who ds
preaching dare?" was often repeated. o
one such occasion, in reply to his inevita
BILE question, Sanbo was answered by
person who understood his wish, "that'
Whitfield" Sambo's opportunity had al
rived; and in the midst of his excitemen
he rolled himself about in a manner h
thought BETTING the great occasion.
day or two afterward he learned to Ii
intense asionishment that Whitfield Ina
not preached at that time-was not eve
in that part of the county, and his chi
giin found sorrowful expression: ''De
Use rolled in de dirt all for nothin!"
with poor Buchanan in his Kansas bus
ness: he has rolled in the dirt thus far =
for nethins.