Marshall County Democrat. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1855-1859, 1858-07-29
Our Little Joker.

in the road one day, with whom they had
mind to be rudely merry. Good morn
ing, father Abraham said one.
Good morning, father Isaac said the
next.
Good morning, father jacob said the
last
Il am neither Abraham, Isaac, or ia
cob, replied the good old man, but Saul.
the son of Kish, who went out to seek
has fathers jaekasses, and 10! here are
three of them!'
The Press, the Pulpit, and the Petit
coat: the first spreads the news; the second
Religion; and the last spreads all over the
side walks!
My party have thrown me overheard
said disappointed politician, but I've
strength enough to swim to the other
side.'
SCENE IN CoURr.-Lswyer: Did the de-
fendant knock the witnesss down with
malice prepense?
Witness-No, sir, it was with fiat
iron.
Lawyer--You misunderstood me; my
friend, | want to know if he attacked
MIN with any evil intent.
Witness-Oh, no, sir, il was outside
the tent.
Lawyer--No, no; wish YOU TO tell me
whether the attack was at all precon-
certed affair.
Witness--No sir. it was not free con
cert affair, it was circus.
You've destroyed my piece of mind, ;
said depending lover, to a truant lass
1t can't do you much harm, for it was
an amazing small piecs YOU had, any
way.
The reason why most people think more
of their stomach than their soul, is be-
cause their stomach is confolnded sight
the largesrof the two.
Unquestapably bill of non-specie
paying bank is lie-bill.
The best fire annihilator" we know of,
is an armful of green blackberry wool.
The anxiety that man feels for want of
funds, is called capital punishment.
A venerable maiden lady, speaking of
marriage, SAYS it's like any other disease:
while there is life there is hope.
The young man who cast his eye upon
young lady coming out of church. has
had it replaced, and no now sees as we'll as
ever.
When boy falls in the water what is
the first thing he does?' Answer: Gets
wet.
A lazy fellow once declared in compa-
ny. that he could not 6nd bread for his
family.
Nor L. replied an industrious mechan-
ic, Il am always obliged 10 work for it,
Why is a watch dog larger at night than
he is in the morning. Because he is let
oat at night, and taken in in the morning.
'Slocum, how is it to-day-can you take
that note up?'
I'm sorry to say that I can't-never
was so cramped in al my life.'
BY the way, you are always cramped.
are you not?'
Pm sorry to say that 1 ara, and yet
there is natural cause for it,
and what is that?'
why. l was weaned on green apples
and watermelon
Johnson was the conductor on West
ern road, a very pompous official, so much
above his business as to appear to be \
passenger, whenever he could. Leaving
the door open one cold day. as he enter
ed the cars, Mr.. Bangs cried out to aim:
Il say, shut that door, -oss
The elegant johnson was greatly Of
Tended at being spoken to so rudely, and
stepping up to him, said:
Il am the conductor of the train
That's the very reason" roared out
Mr.. Bangs, why | told you TO shut the
door, ya
An Individual in st. Louis purchased a
hat in store of tradesman named Dod-
gion. The article was got in the absence
of the proprietor, and the purchaser left
the store, entirely forgetting. (by mistake.
of course, to pay for the aforesaid tile
The tradesman, upon hearing the facts,
started for the levee in hot pursuit of the
delinquent. Upon overhauling him the
following scene occurred:
See here, sir, wish to speak to you
Move on
Il am Dodgion, the hatter.'
That's my FIX
Il tell you, am bod dgion, the hatter.'
'Soam L. am dodgin' the halter. too;
and very likely We are both of us dodgin'
the same chap
The scene changed with Striking Ia
bleau, in which Mr.. Diddler found him
self considerably mixed up with Dod-
gion. the halter. ta
The young lady who burst into tears
has been put together again, and is now
wearing hoops to prevent recurrence of
the accident. zs...sra
sFeller-citizens,' said a candidate for
Congress recently, out West, Il never
went to school in my life but three times
and that was to night school. Two nights
the teacher did not come, and t'other night
had no candle! L 1's
Mrs. Rugg, widow, having taken Sir
James Price for second husband, and
being asked by friend how she liked