The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1858-05-05
The Captain who Wouldn't Race,

the West relied to buy manufactures and
pay debts"
The Captain who Wouldn't Race.
BY THE YOUNG 'UN.
Early in the spring of the past year,
a magnificent new steamer was launched
upon the Ohio river, and shortly after
wards made her appearance at the Levee
opposite the flourishing city of Cincin-
natl. Gilt edged covers enveloping the
captains prospects" accompanied with
invitations to "see her through" upon
her first trip, being forwarded to the
editorial corps in that vicinity, the
chalked hats were numerous" on the
occasion. 1t was grand affair, this
debut of floating palace, which has
since maintained her repute untarnished
as the "crack boat par excellence, upon
the Western waters. Your humble SER
want was among the invited guests-and
a nice time he had Of it
l found myself on board this beauli-
full craft in close communion with score
of unluestionable beauties. The COM
pany proved to be heterogeneous con-
glomeration of character-made up of
editors, lawyers, auctioneers, indescri-
babies, and "fancies with a sprink-
ling of "none -such's." There was a
stray parson, too, in the crowd, but as
his leisure time between meetings" :"
was spent in trading horses, we dis
pensed with his "grace before meals"
We left our mooring an hour before
sunset. upon clear, cold afternoon, and
passed rapidly down stream for con-
siderable distance, without experiencing
any out of the way occurrence. The
son of temperance " and the parson
aforesaid amused themselves over a
smoky whiskey toddy-the "boys /"
were relieving each other Of their su-
perfluous dime and quarters at euchre,
when tall gentleman, who was some,
(when he was sober) stepped suddenly
into the cabin and impaired the infor-
nation that we'll known "fast boat
had just hove in sight at the mouth OF
the Kentucky river. The cards were
"dropt" instanter-the punches disap-
peared-and the "mourners" were soon
distributed in knots upon the promen-
ade deck, to watch the progress of
events.
Our "bully" boat sped away like a
bird however, and the craft behind gave
us early evidence that she should offer
no child's play. The "fat was in the
fire" at once-a huge column of black
smoke curled up in the clear atmos-
phere-au extra turn or two was visible
upon our own boat, and away we went
4 good deal of excitement existed
among the party, as the rival steamer
was clearly gaining on us. A craft
like ours with such company and such
captain, mustn't be beaten
AS the boat behind us fell in under
our stern, and we could count her pas
sengers, a sort of impression came ovel
us, that by some mistake we had got
upon the wrong boat At least, that
was the expressed opinion of the parson
as he threatened to 60 down stairs and
take another drink. Our captain WIS a
noble fellow-he paced the deck quiet
ly, with a constant eye to the wind'ard
but he said nothing. A bevy of the
mourners stepped up to him with
"What speed, cap'n?"
"Fair, gentleman l may say very
fair" .u..
"Smart craft that behind" ventured
one.
Every" responded the captain. calmly
as he placed his hand upon small brass
knob at the back of the pilot house.
This movement was responded to by
the faint jingling of a bell below, follow
ed Immediately by rush of cinders
from the smoke pipes, and an improved
action of the paddles.
"Now we move again."
"Some;" was the response, and a
momentary tremor pervaded the boat as
she slid along right smartly.
But the craft in our rear moved like
our shadow on the calm waters, and as
we shot down the river, it seemed as il
we had her in tow, so calmly and uni
formly did she follow in the wake.
The excitement of the congregation
upon deck had by this time become in
tense, and it was pretty plain that the
boats must shortly part company or split
something The rascal behind us took
advantage of turn in the channel, and
.'helm a starboard 70 was clearly heard
from the look -out of our rival, as she
hove off, and suddenly fell alongside us!
The parson went below at once to put
his threat into execution, as we came up
the current again, "neck and neck, "
and when he returned were running a
twenty knot lick, the steam smack
on to 46 degrees
"She's going-goin', go-" NUT
tered an auctioneer to himself.
" A perfect nonsuit," remarked a
lawyer.
"Beaten, but not vanquished,' added
a politician and away we scudded side
by side for half a mile.
"Wouldn't she bear leetle more, =
meekly asked the parson.
"She's doing very we'll" replied the
captain. Don't get excited. gentle
man my boat is new one-her repu-
tatiou and mine is at stake. We mustn't
rush her-racing always Injuries boat,
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