Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1858-05-28
miscellaneous.
A Holy Pack Of Cards.

Richard Middleton, British soldier,
once attended divine service with the
rest of his regiment, in church at
Glasgow. Instead Of pulling out BIZ
BILE to find the parsons text, he spread a
pack of cards before him. This bcha-
vior was observed by the clergyman,
and the sergeant of the company to
which he belonged. The latter ordered
him to put up the cards, and on his re-
fusal, conducted him, after service, be-
fore the Mayor, and preferred formal
complaint Of Richards indecent boha-
vior.
"Well, soldier" said the Mayor,
what excuse have you to offer? If you
can make an apology, it is well, if not
you shall be severely punished
"Since your honor is 50 good" re-
piled Richard, "as to permit me to
speak for myself, may't please your
worship have been eight days ON the
march, with bare allowance of six
pence day. and consequently could not
afford Bible, or any other good book. :"
On saying this Richard drew out his
pack of cards, and presenting one Of
the aces to the Mayor, continued his ad-
dress to the magistrate as follows:
=" When | sec an ace, may in please
your honor, it reminds me that there is
only one God, and when | look upon a
two or three spot the former puts me in
mind of the Father and Son, and the
latter, of Father, Son. and Holy Ghost I;
a four, of tho four Evangelists, Matthew,
Mark, Luke, and John; FIVE, the five
virgins who were ordered to trim their
lamps, (there were ten indeed, } but five
your worship may remember were foolish;
a six, that in six days God created Heav
en- and earth seven, that on the seventh
day he rested from all that he had made
an eight, of the eight righteous persons
who were saved from the deluge, viz =
Noah and his wife, and three sons and
their wives nine, Of the lepers cleansed
by our Savior, (there were ten, but only
one offered his tribute of thanks y and {
ten, of the ten commandments"
Richard then took the knave, placed
it beside him, and then passed on to Tho
queen, on which he observed as follows
This queen reminds me of the Queer
of Sheba. who came from the uttermos
parts of the earth to hear the wisdom O
Solomon, as her companion, the king
does of Great Britain, Of Heaven, and Q
King George the Second y
WE'LL" returned the Mayor " yol
have given me good description of al
the cards except the knave."
If your honor will not be angr,
with me-" returned Richard, al car
give you the same satisfaction ON that as
on any of the pack"
No." said the Mayor.
"Well," returned the soldier, "the
greatest knave know is the sergeant
who brought me before you"
"Whcther ho is tho greatest knave
or not; but | am sure he is the greatest
fool"
The soldier then continued as follows
"When | count the number Of dots
in pack of cards, there arc three hun
dred and sixty-fve-so many days are
there in year. The cards in a pack
are ffty-two-so many weeks there are
in year When l reckon how many
tricks there are in pack, | find there
are twelve-so many months in a year
So that pack of cards is both bible,
and almanac, and prayer book to me-"
The Mayor called his servants, Or
dered them to entertain tho soldier well,
gave him piece of money, and said he
was the clcverst fellow he ever heard
in all his life.