Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1853-1862, 1858-06-22

ell-alAh a19 ripple tlat dance az our al4e
Aud nishi s srTlysi IN her robes IKE 4 BRIDE.
~ away rsadis y--pnii ausy stsadiiy-,
AarEilys msTEilys over tie tide
THINGS WISE AND OTHERWIsE.
AFEAlR OF HoxoR.-A correspondent Of the Can
ton (BIsa) Citizen, writing frOlA New Orleans gets
Of the following hit;
It IL stated. hat another ''afsir Of honor" was
stopped By the timely nterPositon Of friends between
q neHsboy and Dutch rag picker. L is darkly
hinled that the affair Is only temporarily postponed,
not abandoned. The conflicting statements Of the
respective friends Of the beligerent parties render
Il extremely difficult 20 arrive 81 the real origin, OF
this lemeniabe difficulty. But II seems that IN the
pursuit Of bis srduous duties the Inherent collector
Of absdoned scraps laid his irreverent hook in an
unlueky moment, upon bundle Of newspapers,
which he vender thereof had placed upon the curb
stone during temporary engagement in hostllities
with rival ia trade. The Dutchman al once resigned
Wsres on the demand Of the real owner, alleging in
excuse, that the dirty appearance OF the papers led
him to believe that they we're subjects in his lawful
domain, and that he had no intention Of respassing
upon the property Of another gentleman Thsexcuse,
although well aud honestly meant. no doubt, con-
Veyed disparaging estimate Of his property, which
no honorable neWsbOy could be expec ed 70 permit
60 pas unnOticed and hence the exchange of notes
between the parties which has created such pro-
found sensation ia the clubs Rnd among the select
circles shchthey belong It is much be deplored
that valuable members Of the community should be
80 reckless Of their lives. What if the gentleman
did, 10 hasty moment, declare that the newspapers
we're ''tiriy," should not an admission on his part
that further examinstOn he discovered that they
we're only slighty soiled be sufficient 20 justify
the withdrawal the harsh and offensive epilhets that
be was tblOOdy, laundering son Of q sea cock"
spilled to him BY his adversaryf think 80 But
Mynbeer soutiy maintains and in this be is backed
By bis friends, that nothing less than written
admission Of the erroneOusness the assertion which
assigned quasi marine character to the avocatiOn
Of has respected progenitor, viii satisfy his wounded
honor
Look BEVoRE YOU KICK "A minister recently,
while on his way 10 preach funeral ser mon in the
country, called 70 see one Of his members, an old
widow lady. who lived near the road he travelling
The old lady had just been making sausages and she
felt proud Of them, they we're so plump, round and
sweet OF course she insisted on the minister taking
some Of the links home to bis family He objected
on account Of not having bis portmanteau along
This objection OFerruied and the old lady,
aher swapping them in rag, carefully placed
bundle ia either pocket Of The preachers eaPa Ous
coat Thus equipped be started for the funeral
While attending 20 the solemn ceremonies Of the
grave, some hungry dogs scented the suasages and
not long in tracking them 70 the posket Of the
good mans Overeoat OF course this was great
annoyance and be was several times under the
necessity of kicking those Whelps away. The obse-
ques OF the grave completed, the minis and con-
gregaton repaired 20 the church. where the funeral
discourse was 10 be preached. After the sermon
finished the minister halted to make some remarks
20 his congregation, when q brother who wished to
have an appointment given out, assembled the steps
Of the pulpit, and gave the minister's coat hitch,
to get his attention. The divine thinking il dog
having design upon his pocket, raised his foot
gave sudden kick, and sent the good brother spsWl
ing down the steps.
''You will excuse me, brethren and sisters I" said
the minister, Usedy and without looking at the
work be had just done, "for could not avoid it.
have sausages in my pocket and that dog has been
trying to grab them ever since l came upon the
premisesl 70
Our readers may judge Of the effect such an an
ROunoement would have at q funeral
bSH It has been said that people are degeneratipg
because they dontlive as long in the days Of Ne
thusesh But the fact is provisions so high that
nobody can afford to live very long at the current
prizes.
ngA- It is 8 very common thing to abuse lawyers.
Briehess lawyers, however, should always be ex.
oepted 1t would be very wrong to speak i'll Of any
man Vithout cause.
pS- Magistrats-"What has broughOut you
here r
PrisOnsr-"TWO policemen, your homer"
'.Thsn suppose liquor had something to do
ayes, sir, they we're both drunk"
Rs- A Quaker having sold fue. looking but
blind horse, asked the purOhaser-"Well my friend,
dost thou see any fault in him ?"
''No," was the answer
Neither will he see any in thee, said old Broad
brim.
~ A clergyman, who was reading to his cengre
Cation chapter in Genesis, found the last senten,e
10 be-
'.Aud the Lord gave unto Adam wife"
Turning two leaves together he found written
and read audible voice
"Aud she was pitched without and within"
he had unhspPly gOtinto description Of NOah's
Ark.
R9 A housemaid who was sent to call gentle
man o dinner, found HIM engaged in using tooth
brush 'Well is be coming I" said the lady Of the
house. Gs the servant returned. 'Yes, ms'am,
directly" was the reply; hes just sharpening his
testh'
TBE BEsT JUDsE.-A lady said to her husband, in
Jerrold's presence:
my dear, you certainly want some new trousers"
"No, think not" said the husband.
swell, JerrOd interpOsed, II think the lady who
always wears them ought to know"
rs Lowell has over nineteen miles Of girls end
wise - Exchange
Who's been measuring 'em "endwise"
Nc young widow has established pistol gal
OF the art Of duelling Of UndoUbted, for
she has killed her saGR
KING CBARLEs THR SIMPLE, AND his FooL-This |
good fellows influence was so great that Chsrles,
King Of France, once remarked to him he thought
they had better change places. As Jean did not !
look well pleased at the proposal, Charles asked him
If be we're content at the idea Of being king
''Oh, content enough" was the reply; ''but 1 |
should be exceedingly ashamed at having such |
fool"
Il Was this fool who once tried his masters nerve
BY rushing into his room morning. with the |
exclamation: ''0h, SIRE such news Four thousand /
men have 7 sen in the city ~
"Wbat" cried the startled king; with what in /
tsntiOn have they risen ?"
"Well," said Jean placing his finger upon his nose
probably with The intention Of lying down again at
bedume."
IA Boys areisometimes endo we'd With reaarka-
bic memories. We knew a family in this city, con-
aisting Of girl and one boythe lattrr about seven
years old. They we're setting one evening around
th table, engaged in telling each other how far
back they could reoOllect. Ths little girl recolected
when she had doll that cried The boy here spoke
up, and said that he TecOnected worse than that
How worse chmed in half q cozen voices in n
breath. why I recolleot four weeks before was
born, and cried all the tines for fear I'd be a
gslP
ANARKAEsAs FATHER's ADVICE TO HIsSON.-'Bob.
you are about leaving home for strange parts. You