Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1858-11-24
NO. $50.
MISCELLANEOUS READING.
WASHINGTON.
I From the NashrRle Pdtriot.

gress, is situated in the District OF Columbia
II territory covering a horizontal surfacl
Of ten miles square, and extending perpen
dicular!y all the way through. As every
place in the city il from three quarters OF :
mile to q mile and three-Quarters from every
where else, Washington is called, 10 Fourth
oi-July orstions and that style OF iiterature
generally, "the city Of ms sgo6cent distances.
1t derives it's name Of Washington from q
celebrated continental officer who built tie
pine huts and forced his way through very
hard winter at Valley Forge, and made Corn.
wallis acknowledge the corn al York Town
The principal public buildings OF the city
are the Patent Office, where the Yankees are
granted the exclusive right to maDutactuIe
and sell India-rubber baby Jumpers. douLle
gearcd rat traps, Railways Ready Relief
which is warranted to relieve you VI your
money, if nothing else-and other valuable
! Inventions Of the age; the General Post Oihcc
where they superlntend the misunnsgemen Mt
of the various mai!-routes Of the country; the
/ National Treasury, an institution Of learning
which hss graduated more men In the art Of
swiudling the government than any ten SIM
| lar or dlssimilsr institutions in the world
! and the City Jail, which is the only public
building in Washington which is really devo-
ted to honest purposes, and that Is devoted
to no purposes at all, both the permanent and
temporary residents Of the CITY being too deep
ly engaged in their own rascalities to think
of Furnishing other people for theirs.
There are two monuments in Washington
one of red granite, erected to the memory
ul Smithson at his own expense, aud monu-
mcnt to the folly, penuriOusness, and graft
tude OF the American people. The latter II
about sixty feet high, with upward Though
hopeless expectations Of fse or ak hundred
feet, II is commonly called the Washington
OF National Monument. General Taylor
caught his death in lS5Oat the laying 0! the
cornerstone Of this structure. 1t is hardly
probable that any OF his successors Will per
ish at the laying of the cap.stone. It's much
/ more probable that Presidents will be doue
! away with at least six weeks before that event.
The imports of Washington consist primer
pally of cfice seekers and pick-pockets, (bolh
Of which are frequently combined IN one,)
and fast women, who indirectly make halt
the laws that are put through. It's exports
are disappointed politicians and whiskey.--
The latter is generally bottled IN members u
Congress for transportation.
Taking it altogether, Washington is an
exceedingly hard place. The public men
there are all very honest and upright, how
ever--that is. until they 20 home and turn
against the administration, when 0t course,
| they become, like Stephen A. Douglas and
/ John W. Forney. the most consummatc
scoundrels unbung. We have the authority
of a humber of administration papers Tor say
ing 80. During the sitting OF Congress
/ though innumersble murders and robberies
are committed 10 the city; but as everybody
| there is above suspicion, and wouldn't hurt
Eair of your head, nor take the smallest
coin from the treasury under the most tavora-
! bic circumstances, the perpetrators invariably
escape detection. Under these benign aus
uices, it is no wonder that it cannot, or has
not been said of Washington, as was recent
| ly said of one. horse town in Kentucky, that
If, at the last day. Gabriel should happen to
| light there first, the resurrection would Ie
/ indefinitely postponed; for some one oil thc
/ inhabitants would s~indle him out OF his
horn before he could make single toot. y.
~ ROVER n BAKERS NEW AND ELE-
(T CANT FAMILY Sc WING MI
! CHIMES -PRIcEs FROM $50 To Si25-lnr
Grover II Baker Sewing Machine Company sell
the two best MACHINES in use One makes
the SHUTTLE OR Lock STITcH-a stitch well
adapted Tor sewing goods that are not To b"
washed and ironed; the other Is ne" MA
CHINE, making the CELEBRATED GkoEER% IA
kER STITCH, or THE LOCK STITCH THAT Is LoCALn
This MACHINE is great improvement "p
on all previous Machines for family use.
III Send tor Circular at 10, pennsylvana
Avenue Washington; 4gJ Broadway, Ne"
York l37 Baltimore street, Baltimore.
! OPINIONS or THE PRESS
| Grover n Bakers is the best.-hmericdu
AgricuurIst.
To all OF which the Tribune says Amen
~ Y. Tribune.
Itis all that il claims TO be.-N. Y. lndepeu-
dent.
Home Journal.
We give 1t the preference Amer. Bapusl
II needs only 10 be seen 10 be appreciated
Phren. Jour.
Adapted for woolens linen, or cotton--Am
Med Moathly.
w. like Grover Il Bakers best-LadieN
Wreath
Which is best!" Grover & Bakers \ '
Dispatch
Superior to all o'hers-N Y Mercury
We have no hesitation in recommending II --
n. Y. Express.
II requires no re+pooIing IN y Evangrlls'
For family USE they are unrIvaled.-N
Daily News.
They sew seam that will not rip.-N y.
Courier
It Performs nobly and expeditiousI y.-N
Examiner.
Remarkable for the elasticity OF seam.-Po
lice Gazette.
Well adapted 10 all kinds Of family sewing
N. Y. Observer.
Best adapted for family use,-N. Day Book
We do not hesitate 10 recommend It-N.
Chronicle.
1t sews strongly and does not rp.-L'ie u
Illustrated.
The prince OF inventions Prot. Church"an
II IS women's best friend IN. Y. Weekly
News
We give our preference TO Grover q Baker ,
/. Student.
The most blessed invention Of modern times
Moth Magazine.
II makes a pleasure OF a toIl-N. !. Even
ug Post
The iavarite Tor family use.-Brookiyn Star
We highly appreciate theIr vsue.-Amer
|, Missionary.
lis great merit is in It's peculiar stitch a.
Family Circle.
We attest lis simplicity ard dursbility.-Na
t!onal Magazine oct 2D-du
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