Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1858-08-19
PLEASANT PARAGRAPHS.
Why is a Nebraska shin.pIaster like IAN

Why is Nebraska shin-pIaster ike an
. in'penitent sinner! Because it don't know
thatits "redeemer liveth."
/, An editor in Iowa has become so hollow
from depending on the printing business
alone for bread, that he proposes to sell
himself for stove-pipe at three cents foot.
Some one says that dogs bark with such
zeal when one enters their masters ward,
that one would suppose they owned the
| premises, and that their master was only
a boarder.
An o:d revolutioner says, that of all the
( solemn hours he ever saw, that occupied in
going home one dark night from the widow
fBeta's, after being told by her daughter
Sally, that he 'sneedn'l come again. was
| the most solemn.
If We can sill love those who have made
US suffer, we love them all the more II is
as if the principle, that con- fitt is a me-
Cssafy law of progress, were applicable
even to love. For there is no love like
that which has reused up the intens est
feelings of our nature, revealed US to our
selves, like lightning suddenly disclosing
an abyss-yet has survived all the storm
and tumllt of such passionate discord, and
all the terror Of such a revelation.
When Daniel Webster was delivering
his me morable speech a: the dedication of
Bunker H il! monument, the crowd pressed
forward to such an extent that some were
fainting and some being crushed. Officers
strove in vain to make the crowd stand
back; they said it could not be done. Some
one asked Mr.. Webster to make an appeal
to them. The great crater came forward,
stretched forth his hand, and said in his
deep stentoran tones, Gentlemen, stand
back.' 1t cannot be done,' they shouted
Gentlemen, stand back he said, without q
cha ge of voice. 1T is impossible, Mr.
Webster, impossible 'Impossi1le.' re-
peated Mr.. Webster, impossible. Nothing
is impossible on Bunker HIH,' and the vas.
crowd swsysd, and rolled back like e
mighty wave Of the ocean.
There are two kinds Of girls; one is the
kind that appears the best abroad. the
girls that are good for parties, rides, visits,
balls, &C., and whose chief delight is in
such things; the other is the kind that ap.
pears best at home, the girls that are use
ful aud cheerful in the dining room, the
sick room, and all the precincts of home
They differ widely in character. One is
often torment at home; the other is a
blessing. One is moth, consuming every
thing about her, the other is sunbeam in
spring life and gladness all along her
pathway. Now it does not necessarily
follow that there shall be two classes of
girls. The right education would modify
both little; and unite their characters in
one.
There is doctor in the North Western
part Of Philadelphia who is especially re-
markable for being, as the women term il,
short and crusty.' A week or two since he
was called to visit a patient who was
laboring under a severe attack of cheap
whisky. Well. doctor, Pm down, you
see-com2letely foored--l've got the tre-
mendous delirium, you perceive 'Tremens,
You fool; where'd you get the rum" quer-
red the doctor. 'All over in spots broke
out promiscuously, DOCTOR Served you
right. Where'd you get your rumI''-
Father died of the sad.e disease; 'cOS him
under the short ribs and carried him off
bodily We'll, you've got 10 take some
thing Immediately You're trump, doc
tor-here. wife, I'll take nip of old rye
Lie still. blockheaG. Ms. B., if your hus-
band should get worse before [ return,
which shall 5e II an h'uf. jns. give him
dose of that trunk stray; maybe that will
fetch him to sense of his folly The doc
tor sailed OUT grandy, ard within an hour
he sailed in again, and found his friend of
the 'delrium Tremendous in a terrible couI
dition, writhing and struggling with psin.
His wife, a female of the plain but igno-
rant school, came forward, and, layi6g her
hand upon the doctors arm, SAID, doctor,
gave him the strap as YOU directed Did
You thrash him welii' Thrash himr ex-
claimed the astonished wuman; 'no, but |
cut the strap into hash and made him
swallow it," 'Oh, Lord. DOCTOR roared
the victim, i swallow ed the leather, but
but But whatp i swallowed the strap,
but I'm blowed if I could 90 The bucsle,'--
The doctor administered two bread pills
and made his exit.