Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1858-01-16
Spicy correspondence A True
Wife.

Wife.
We are assured by a friend who is per-
~sonally cogaizant Of what he states, that
the following piquant correspondence is
genuine. A gentleman whose business
+ calls him a good deal from home,
is accustomed to give the
custody of his correspondence to
his wife, an intelligent lady, who, in ODE
lience to instructions "Opens all letters that
come in her husbands absence: answers
such of them as she can, like a confidential
clerk. and forwards the rest to her liege
lord at such places as be may have de-
Isignaled at his departure. During . re-
! cent absence of her husband, The lady re-
ceived a letter, Of which the following
! (omitiing names, dates and places,) IS a
f true copy B4t
my DEAR SlR:-I saw a fine picture
| of you yesterday, aud fell in love with it,
q. did with the original In W-last
7 Winter, when Irsaw you more than an
I hour, though suppose you did not see
me among so many. 1 fear you will
think me forward in thus addressing you;
t but | trust you are as noble aud unsuspec-
ting as you are handsome and Brilliant
; Perhaps you would like to know some
thing about me your ardent adnirer!!-
: Well, | am not very good at description,
Mt | will say | am not married (thongh
you are, | am told.) My friends tell me
| have not a pretty face, but only q good
figure. | ain rather petite, have black
ewes, black hair, and. a dark complexion
that is, ! am what is called a brunette"
| am stopping for a few weeks with my
brothefin'law and sister in this town, and
+ [ dearly wish you would meet me there
Ibefore | return to W. At any rate,
/ 10 not fail to write me at least a few
i words 10 tell me whether | shall ever see
T YOU again,and know you more intimately.
Forgive my bo!dness, and believe me, +
1! 81 i Your friend, 81 G~a75sss -
To this letter the wife. who by the by,
has not the least knowledge, of the person
to whom she was writing, made the follow
ing answer: q
"MADEM0IsELLE Your letter of the
J inst, addressed to Mir. was duly
received. Mr.-who is my h~asband,di-
/ reeted me, when he left home some days
ago, to open all hls letters, and to answer
any Of them that | conyiently could. As
A yoa seem TO be rather inpatient, I viii
answer yoar letter myself. I do not think
) your description Of yourself will pleaseMr.
-. [ happen to know that he dislikes
black eyes, and hates brunettes most de-
Y decidedly. 1t is quite true, (as you seem
e to suppose( that he judges Of women as he
c does Of horses; bnt | do not think your IN
ventory Of yoar points is complete en-
ough to he ~ssti&fac Dry to him. You omit
to mention yoar l,eight.yonr weight, wini,
/, speed, and here}ths word is iliegible. i
Taking your charms at your owmestimata,
/. doubt whether they will prove sufficient
/ ~ attractive TO draw him SO far as b
merely for the satisfaction of comparing
J, tiien1 with tb3 schedule. YIN say you trust
.lmy husband is 'unsdspecLing." / think
& that is his nature; but yet he Is used to
:, drawing inference, which are sometimes as
4 Suspicious. hYon say You are unmarried.
Y Ny advice to you is that you marry
oineboiy as a as possible. In most
Eases, | would not recommend haste; but
!. in yours [ am consineei there is truth in
). the proverb which speaks Of the danger OF
Idelay. Should yoa be SO fortunate as 10
Oct a husband (which may God mercifully
grantD my opinion is that YOU will con
slider any woman who should write him
4 such a letter as this of yours impairment,
/? and, perhaps, ~ilnmodest.
vi will deliver goar note to MIR
" hen he returns,asid also aecopyfof my re-
II ply, which | am sure he will approve.
II am, with as much respect as yours
t permit, MRs.-" z i1 3aa ~
/ This was the end OF the correspondence
4 $500 4#' M
! f. HORACE GEBELEy's 1CHAMPAGNE-
Ntck Nae tells the following story of Hon.
Horace Greedy, The distinguished jour,
faiiSts gg3 s8q4@9s3 66
Horace Greeley's acquaintance with the
! names of wines il hardly more exact than
! his knowledge ofotheirs natures, and conse-
J ~ouently he once made Il very ludicrous
4 mistake by writing, drinking their Held
:. sleek and Champagne" Of course all the
Tribune corps noticed the error next
morning, and Dana, Ottarson, C~ongdon,
|, and perhaps even Ripley, Snow, Hildreth,
!. aud Wilbour gathered around him when
! he ann in, and joked him IN his vinous
] tautology. Horace listened until he com
pretended with tolerable exactness the ma
!. ture of his error, when the lines about his
: mouth began to curve a little, and there
!, was a little shining in his serious eyes rs
he said, did 1? Did | say that Well,
guess I'm the only Tribune editor that
would make a mistake of that kind" The
+ laugh was against them, aud the wide
7 hated corps soon beat a retreat.
i PRoGREssIvE DEMocRAcY.-in 1917,
the democratic party were in favor OF the
9 prohibition Of slavery III the territories
q in 1920 they abandoned prohibitation aud
l,itsxL ,bo fyr,,,,ud thaf Slayarv cr1ld not ay-