Mineral Point tribune. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1854-1858, 1858-05-11

tneV come b low mine three or tour inches
Agin the next meetin' was prepared tc
cut {. big stiff; sister Sal, for the purpose
slarched and ironed my new fine shirt as
stiff and slick as a sheet of new tin
This shirt had the finest kind Of fax
llnnen IN the bosom and collar, but the IN
visible part was coarse tow, with a hem
that would cable steamboat. Now
while Sal was smoothing the wrinkles,
near the said herl with an iron lust hot
from the fire, down stairs tumbled one of
the tarnal bratts, knockin' the breath out
ont. 1t was Saturday mig 1T, and she was
the only one up, and run to it, IN course,
but before it come to the iron had very
decidedly made its mark-that Is, burnt
two holes IN the extremity of my linnen.
! Next mornin' | put it on as it was-then
dads true blues-then the fust regular
built pair o shoes I'd ever had. | was
seventeen, just, that Sunday mornin', and
IN my Sunday riggin' felt myself a man.
and resolved if Betsy Crumpton was at
meetin' to show it. Well, she was there,
and | axed her for her conpany-and got
1t. Walking by her side | felt as light
as nothin'-I skeersly totched the ground
| was walking on. But | shant tell you
the fine things thought and sayed to her
on the way, and more after we GOT home.
/ e Oh, yes, do;' sayed several voices. ,
! No, you'll have enough without that
/ you're to skim the cream Of the story vet.
/ She kept me up late, say two o'clock, and
IN spite Of the novelty Git being the fust
| time | got sleepy. Now the Squire had
just come to the parts, and pat up a one
story, one roomed, log cabin, and the
| whole family, 'cept some of the young
/ 'uns, slept below. | was little bashful
about guine to bed thar, but | was three
miles from home, and 1t was a rainin' like
| blue blazes, | had TO do it, and did with
/ out exposin' the blanks in my linnen. |
/ resolved to be up before any body else in
| the mOrLln, on the same account and
/ some others. That was the last | know'd
'tilI | was wakened by the hounds (half
a dozen Of which slept under the bed a
! pulling the kivers off II me. Ifoiy heav-
ems! the sun two hours high-breakfast
on the table, and me in bed Just as |
was gulne to spring out, IN pops the old
oman with plale Of venison It was
dog days, you know, and she cooked in a
shanty. / possWncd sleep till she went
out agin, then looked for my trowsers-
thar they war In the Jaws of the pu, al
The foot Of the bedl [ made a nifty
lunge over the foot-board 70 retake them,
hut, Oh, horrors. my head down and my
heels up! What's the matter, thinks =
but II flashed across me in a mint that the
hole IN my lInnen was over the post-and
a tall post, tn! | kicked and liowndered
and hownced, but all 10 no purpose
couldn't get down. | strained to brake
the hem, bat all no go. just now all the
hounds commenced yeilin' so furiously
the old oman and both gals run in to see
what was UP, and when they seed it was
me they run out agin. One begin 10
hotler for the Squire, while tothcrs, thro'
the cracks, battled with fshin' poles the
cuSsCd hounds that war violin me. Oh,
l tho't of Absolem and every body else
that ever did hang. But he didn't hang
with the rong end up, that was a cousola-
ton that l hadn't I'D a cussed my fate
like Boston, but / remembered | be-
( lonrrd to meetin', and il was acin the
rules. | did, however, think of some
nifty hard words If | didn't speak 'cIu,-
Bu' all that didL, do no good. ,ouIdn't
make nothin' a pulIn' down'ards, 50 |
tho't Id cline up the post and uuloose
myself that way. | had nearly succeed
ed, when one Of the uumannerly pups
attacked me in the rear, and loosin' my
holt fell in a knot-decidedly pecEng oil
my linnen-the button busted OF, and |
come out full length on the floor, in pre-
cisely the same state Of fix Job SAID he
come into this world The next mint
was under the bed whore the everIastin'
pups had dragged my lrowsers. l culed
them of, tut every time | put one leg
partly on, the Internal wheIps would pull
loiher off. | worried this way some time,
when a puncheon gave way, and fell
through into a trough of soap under the
house Gosh tho't that was in the pit
that was bottomless. Isprang for my life,
but in doing this | threw myself into the
4 face and stomache of Squire Crumpton,
who was comm IN on the run, 'specting
the lnpnS was a massacreeing the whole
amily. The collision threw him down
nil, and | followed suit, heels over head
TO the bottom. Here | recovered my un-
derstaniipg, and without any apologies,
, or even a word, | struck Il bee line for
home jist as I was, in all my native puri-
j ty, at a speed that split the winds, nay toe
nails striking fire Queer the flint ever
jump. But, b'hoys, never went within
Il quarter of mile of Squire Crumptons,
aflerwards-nor did / ever cast sleeps
eyes At Betsy agin-Ie; alone gallanun'
her home"
TOMMY DODDLEKINs.
~ There has been no skeplicism in
America, except what has grown out of
the Church's shrin king from the place
which Christ ordained her to fill n.
Y. Independent.
/ ES3 People" says modern philos-
opher, " go according to their brains; If