The Ashland union. [volume] (Ashland, Ashland County, Ohio) 1854-1868, 1858-09-22

You never lose by doing a good turn.
Zeal without knowledge is fire without
light Young Peoples Pocket Book
for 1853.
@ A woman without poetry is like
a landscape without. sunshine.
* The shortness of life is very of
ten owing to the irregularities of the
Huer.
E& The following bill was lately
presented to a farmer in Sussex: "To
hanging two barn doors and myself sew
eD hours, four shillings and sixpence."
E4 A gentleman who had a scold-
ing wife, in answer to an inquiry after
her health, said she was pretty we'll,
only subject at times to q "breaking out
in the mouth"
E% 81 say, Pete, in gwoing roun'
de worl' trablers tell us dat you lose
one hole day" "Dat amt muffin, Sam,
when you can make'm up agin." "How
you gwine to make it np-tell me dat?"
"Why, jis turn round and go back
agin."
E The emiuent DR.. South, being
10 the midst of a frolic on one occasion,
and seeing a diguifed, uhbending &C.
quaintance approaching, exclaimed,
Stop! we must be grave now, there is a
fool c~oring!'
E&A censorious and conceited lady,
Wanting her good figure, boosted to
another that her sister and herself had
always been remarkable for the beauty
of their backs. "That is the reason, l
suppose, that your friends are always so
glad to see them," was the reply.
Il A Pennsylvania German being
asked on wednesday what he thought
of Tom Corwin, remarked that she is
too white to be called a negro, and too
black to be called q white man," conse,
q~uently could not tell what to think of
him.-SheDy Co. Democrat.
e There is no occasion to trample
on the meanest reptile, nor to seek to
the greatest prince. InsoleBce and base
ness are equally %unmanly.
EE"My native city has treated me
badly" said a drunken v~agabond, 'but
I love her still"
"Probably her still is all you love
about her," replied a gentleman.
e The editor of the Evansville
Daily journal was fined SIS on Thursday
of last week for an attempt to cheat the
Government out of three cents postage.
Republican, of course
ga war of some magnitude is
going on in North Africa, in which the
Emperor of Morocco has been defeated
by certain hostile tribes, and compelled
to make his way back to his own country.
BOGUS GOLD DoLLARs.-Look out for
a we'll gotten-up gold dollar, of the
"bogus kind" the result of the labors
of an ingenious crew of r~ascally coun-
tcrfeiters in Massachusetts,. Nothing
but strong acid will show the deceit.
ESaid an Englishman to his foot.
man, "what's all that noise in the
street," "Och, nothing sir, they're only
forcing q man to volunteer"
* Man may err, and be forgiven;
but poor woman, with all his temptation,
and but half his strength, is placed be-
yond the hope of earthly salvation, if
she but once be tempted into crime.
CLAY AND WEBSTER (which was
the greatest orator, Daniel Webster or
Henry CIay?" Their styles were as
widely different as those of Cicero and
Demosthenes. For subdued pathos, and
nicely balanced sentences-to say moth
ing of logic-Webster was doubsless su-
perior, while Clay, in startling. thrill
ing aud "passional" eloquence surpassed
Webster appealed to the reason--CIay
to the sympathies. Taking the word
in it's literal sense, Clay was the great
er orator.
e Aprofessional juryman at Troy,
New York, when he gets on a jury, has
a way of his OWL of making it pay. He
finds out the name of every party and at
tornev that has "a case tn he tried He
waites upon them individually aud bland
ly requests the loan of a little money
As an assurance of his ability to repay
it, he advises the parties that che is on
the jury" and will return the loan as
the court breaks up" People anxious
to secure the friendship Of at least one
person upon the jury, readily grant the
loan, regarding it as a good investment