The western Democrat. [volume] (Charlotte, N.C.) 1852-1870, 1858-03-30

The fellow that perpetrated the following ought
to be punished
'Woman wants but little on her head,
But lots below to make her spread"
A western paper publishing the business card
of merchant named Hill, who, as it appears has
a clerk named Devie, commits the following ty-
biographical error: "Ladies go to Hell if you want
to purchase your dry goods without being cheated.
young Irishman who had married when he
was but 10, declared that he would never marry
young again if he lived to be 100 years old.
What is that which no man wants, which if any
man has he would not part with for untold wealth?
Ans \ bald head.
A horse DEALER describing used up horse, said
'he looked as bad as if he had been editing news
paper.
A French writer calls Dyspepsia the rcmorse
Of guilty stomach"
Whose best works most tramplcd upon? A
shOemaker's; because good shoes last longer than
bad ones
Byron sad az am convinced that men do more
harm to themselves than ever the devil could do
to them"
There is no greater obstacle to success in life than
trusting for something to turn up, instead of going
to work and turning up something.
keep account of the time wasted and money
spent foolishly, and add it UP at the end of the
year.
Keep your wit as a bucklcr to defend yourself
and not as a sword to wound others,
The more polished the society is, the less for
mality there is in it.
Why are teeth like verbs? Because they are
regular, irregular and defective.
WAGERY.-Some time ago. on the Sabbath day.
We wendell our way to one Of our churches, and
instead of sermon heard an address upon some
missionary other benevolent subject. After
the address was concluded, two brethren were
sent round with the baskets for contributions
Parson WHO was one of the basket bearers
taking the side upon which we sat- immediately
in front and upon the next seat, ncgligently
reclined our friend Bill H, a gentleman of
infinite humor and full of dry jokes Parson
L extended the basket and Bill slowly shook
his head.
"Come, William, give US something" said the
Parson.
Cant do it." replied Bill.
"Why not? Is not the cause good Onc?"
"Yes; but l am not able to give anything"
"Poh! Poh! L know better, you must give
better reason than that"
''Well | owe too much money! must be Just
before | am generous, you know"
"But, William, you owe God larger debt than
you owe any one else"
"That's true, parson, but then he aint pushing
me like the balance Of my creditors"
The parsons face got into rather a curious
condition and he passed on.
RS~ 4 Gentleman asked lady, the other day
why many tall gentlemen were bachelors
The reply that they obliged to lie corner
wise in the bed to keep their feet in, and that
wife would be in the way.
FASHIONABLE WoMEN-"Read the biocra-
phies OF our great and good men and women"
says an exchange: "and not one of them had
fashionable mother. They nearly all sprung from
strong minded women, who had about as little to
do with fashions as with the changing clouds"
HORSE FLEsH.-A Paris correspondent of the
Courier des Etats Unis SAYS that there are already
four butcher-shops in Vienna, in which horse
flesh is sold that there is already of the sort in
Dublin, and another in Inzerdorff, and that the
whole of Germany will soon follow suit.
Ra=A jury in Chardon, Ohio, have found
verdict for $4,000 damages against John Sumner,
who courted Susannah Garris for fourteen years,
had the marriage day appointed three several times
and then went to the State of New York, and
carried home another wife