Muscatine weekly journal. [volume] (Muscatine, Iowa) 185?-1890, 1858-03-13
H u M q R O U 3.

ANIRIsH METHOD OF STOPPING HoLR.-
"Our folks" have got Biddy Of the verita-
ble kind She is queer duck, and good
natured rs ''baSket of ch ps." Well. last
Sunday as re were sitting down to dinner,
We found the old cat, with three young
gri,na,kins, largely engaged in the nursery
business under the table.
"Biddy," said W." ''take this cat and her
kittens, and put them where we shall never
see them mnre.'' Ahint Of dreadful import,
but not understood.
s.Fa:th, air. aud that will"
The feline family was removed. By and
by Biddy re-entered, witt, an expression on
her face which seemed to say, sBe-dad,
they're safe nnw!"
dwell, Biddy, what have you done with
the old cat aud her kittens!"
"Bs gor, they're >afe enough, sure. Dye
mind the weod house torninst the stable 2
Well, put them all in there, and fastened
tho door and windies. Then seeing there
was hole beneath where they might get
out, stopped that too, md so, you see,
they won't trOrble you any more"
We were satisfied, of course, and ate din
ner in peace. Afterwards, we walked into
the yard. when we saw the '.dintical' old
cat and her kittens at perfect liberty
Calling Biddy, We said:
''Did you not say you fastened that cat in
the wood-hous ?"
Faith, an / did, SIR"
"And stopped tho hole'"
eyes, sir"
Well, she had, that's fact but what
do you suppose she had stopped the hole
with2 She had stuck section of stope pipe
into it! Aud there sat one of the little
imps in the mouth of it, just as it crawled
out, licking its paws!
Az IMPROVEMENT OF SPARE TIME-At a
political meeting in Pike Co., Pa, while the
committee were out writing resolutions, a
sturdy old farmer rose and addressed the
chair.
'.Mr. President, mout say . word7 u
asked he. .
"The meeting will BE- proud to hear from
you, Mr.. Subsoil."
"Well, Mr.. President, enduren of the time
of the committees out, you couldn't teH us
al! ho,o you've bedded your taters?"
There was o great laugh at SubsoiPs ex.
pense, but his question involved matter OF
more practical Importance than such as Of.
ten como before political meetings.
GRAxDYArHRR BEroGaED-A mischiev-
ious boy, having got possession of his grand
fathers spectacles, privately took out the
glasses; and when the old gentleman put
them on, finding he could not see, he ex.
claimed, "Aercy on me, I've lost my sight
but thinking the impairment to vision nigh,
be the dirtiness of the glasses, he took then
off to wipe them, when not feeling them
lie. still more frightened, cried out, "Why
what's come nowI Why, Pve lost my feeling
too!"
~ "Sam, Why am lawyers like de fish
II don't meddle wild dad subjik, Pomp."
"Why, don't you see, niger, kaze dey an
90 fond Of de- bate"
A POWERFUL PREACHER. -"Ah mel" Sal
pious lady. s'our minister was powerful
preacher for the short time lie mnistere'
the word among us, he kicked three pulpit
To pieces. and banged the in'ards out of fiv'
Bibles"
"WHAr's IN NAxE?"-A down eas
druggist is introducing hair cOmp"un
which he calls "the Grand Greecejuice, o
Quinies essemc of Fat" A Boston paper say
it reminds US Of a mans lat portrait"
DGwhat light could not possibly be see
in dark roomi
An Israelits.
A Jew desperate, 0eu Te.prit)
E"Oh. Mr.. Grubbles % exclaimed
young mother, ''shouldn't you like to hay
family Of rosy children about your knee 7
"No ma'am," said the disagreeablo old baol
elor, ''l'd rather hsEs lot Of yellow boy
my pocket"