The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1858-05-25
when hear of un 1appy matches, know
that somebody is TO blame.

preserved whllo cltncr Is DlaDiuS vi tno
other. A man who tells his ne'ghbors
that his wife is extravagant, that she Is
wasteful' That he never finds her at home
that she will never go out with HIM, or
that she is or does anything which he de-
sircs her not TO be or do, he does shame
iul thing, and cruel thing, besides ma
king on ass Of himself. A woman who
biuits her husbands faults, who tells the
neiehbors how much he seeks the society |
of other women, how much he spends for
cigars, how late he is out Mt night, how
lazy he is, how it'll, he cares for what in
tcrests her, how stingy he is with his mon
oy, and all that sort Of thirg. sins against
herself, and consents. or voluntarily enlists,
to publish that which is essentially her own
shame. A hus and and wife have no busl-
ness to tel one anothcr's faults TO anybody
but to one another. They cannot do 1t
without shame. Their grievances are to
be settled in private, between themselves;
and in all public places, and among friends
they are to preserve towards ono another
that nice Consideration and entire respect
fulness which their relation enjoin. For
they are one in the law; and for man or
woman to publish the truth that they are
not one in fact, is to acknowledge that
they are living in the relation OF an un
willing lover and n compulsory mistress
Isn't that disgusting enough!
A great deal of evil might be prevented
between you il you would allow your af-
fecton to give itself natural expression.
know of husbands so proud and stiff and
sury that they never have kiss or cs'
ress or fond word for the wives whom
they really love know such husbands
who have most lovable wives-wives to
whom a slight tender demonstration, that
shall tell to their hearts how ineXpressibly
pleasant their faces and their society are,
and how fondly they are loved, would bo
better than untold gold,-wives to whom
carcsscs arc swceter than mamma, and fond
words more musical than robbins songs in
the rain. They 90 through life starving
for them-bearing buds of happiness upon
their bosons that must be kissed into boom,
or withcr and fall. Yet tho cast iron hus-
baud goes about his business without even
courleous ''good morning." eats his meals
with immense regularity. provides for bis
family cxemp!arily, imagincs that he is an
excellent husband, and entertains pro-
found contempt for silly people who arc
fond Of one another. Heaven be thanked
that there are some in the world to whose
hearts the barnaclcs will not cling! Hcav-
en- be thanked for the young old boys and
the young old girls-boys and girls forever
who, until the evening Of life falls upon
them. Interchange the sweet caresses that
call back the days Of courtship and early
marriage! Thank heaven that my wife
can never grow odl; that 80 long ms a lock
: adorus her temples, brown or gray, my
finger shall toy with it, that SO long as
can sit there shall be place for her on my
knee, and that so long as / can whisper
and she hear, she shall know by fond con
fcssion that her soul s next to mne---link
ed to minc-mine!
9 wish in this letter to impress upon yor
y the idea which few married people appar
emily thoroughly comprehend Il at you
husband and wife--aro one,-that yo'
y have no separate interests, that you cal
!, have no separate positions in society, tha
:, You should desire none, and that it is with
y in your ability, and is most imperativel.
= your duty to be happy together. In orde
: TO be what you should be too each Other
% and in order to he happy yonrselves-i
e your own hearts-you should begin right
= You should be willing at all times to bea
one anothcr's burdens; and, in fact, / kno,
of no better rule for accomplishing the ell
u seek for You than by your constantl
:, studying and minsteriug to tho happines
Il of each other. Sefishness is the bane {
!, all life, and especially of married life; an
y if husband and wife devote themselve
to one another's happiness, reluquishin
:, their own selfish qualification for that enc
70 70 the task is complished-tbc secret solvec
II The path of such a pair is paved wit
:, gold. Their life is song of praise. A
= - good angels are about them, bearing cons
u lations for every sorrow, antidotes for ever
" bane, rewards for every labor, and strcngt
- y for every trial. That is essential marriage
y and, as Paul and Dombey said when MI
" Pinchin told him there WAS nobody eli
y like her, ."that is a very good thing"
III suppose there is modicum Of roman'
=. in most natures, and that if it gather
w. bout any event, it is that of marriage
v. Most people marry ideals. There is mo
m or less nctlclOuS anu ItiEaclOuS glory rcslii
N. upon the head of every bride, which Il
n. inchoate husband sees ald believes in
sro Both men and women manufacture perfe
nd tionis in their mates by happy process
". their imaglnations, and then marry ther
bo This, of course, wears away. BY the tin
the husband has seen lis wife cat hearti
Of pork and beans, and, with her hair fri
,or zled, and her oldest dress on, fall Of &
cs. enterprize of overhauling things, he SC
on that she belongs to the sai race wi
mo- himself And she, when her husband g
;,H up cross in the morning, and undertak
on to shave himself with cold water and
Tor dull razor, while his suspcndeB dapgle
scr his heels, begins TO sec that man is a ve
prosaic animal. In other words, there
as such thing as honeymoon, of longer
rot or shorter duration; and while the moo
..r shine lasts, the radiance Of the seven
,r,s heaven cannot compare with it. 1t il
Toe very delicious little delirium--a febr
ar. mental disease--whlch, like measles, ne'
.on comes again.
tial When the honeymoon passes away s
ovo | tl;np hebnd dull mountains on dippi