Weekly American. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1858-1858, 1858-02-13

"Vel, We keeps lager beer and yite beer"
aGiye us bothp
In an instant it was before us--both the yite
beer and the lager. Pap raised the long vite
beer, and after looking at it a moment, admi-
ring its amber color and white foam remarked,
in his usual emphatic manner, BILLY, this Is
5eeri Putting this down and taking up the
clear glass cup in which the lager was, he
looked at it for moment, raised 1t TO his lips,
and took long draught. Instantly, like a
fash oflightning, the glass was brought down
with jerk upon the table-the clear crystal
flew in thousand atoms--pap's hanes were
suddenly clenched over his abdomen--his
cheeks swelled out like two red India rubber
balloons, and his eyes stood beyond their sock
cts full diameter Suddenly his mouth open
cd and the lager flew in every direction--he
gasped for breath, and sank back in his chair
almost lifeless. thought he had gone of in
fit, and | threw the white beer in his face
this somewhat brought him to his spunk--
"Billy," he said, "what was that drank2
Father replied, sit was lager beer"
Lager devil" replied pap, slowly" lager
5eerl If that is lager beer, I'll none Of it III
resist it to the death. No Dutchman shall
ever palm off on me vinegar, salt, and dirty
water, and call it lager beer"
AT that moment we heard little bell Jingle.
An old German piano, violin, and overclyde
suddenly struck up, Pap put his hands to his
cars and began to make faces. just at this
moment curtain gracefully rose, and a young
lady suddenly appeared, and with aahop, skip,
and jump, stood in front Of the audience on a
small stage. She was dressed in the smallest
pattern Of frock imaginable, and stood on
one toe and began to point her other foot right
at pap's head. turned round and found that
he had actually lodged under the table-but |
soon coaxed him out, and he enjoyed the nude
lady Is pirouetts amazingly--but suddenly turn
I ing to me, he remarked,
Billy, don't you write any thing about this
to Josh"
The curtain fell, and young lady came
around to be paid for the beer. Pap felt his
pockets, but not red was to be found--he
looked them over and over, chased his pencil
into one corner Of his pocket, his knife into
another his tooth-pick was driven promiscu-
ously about, but not a dime could be found.
Turning to the young lady, in the blandest
| manner he said to her,
"Miss, am afraid, that by some means my
port-monnie has been abstractedl"
"Vy, you old cove, toughts yeu vos Won
old sheet will tell the brobrietor;" and the
brobrietor was accordingly told, who, in very
summary manner turned us out Of the saloon,
and over to one of the elegantly dressed Stars
| found 80 numerous at the corners of the
streets, particularly wherever there is an eat
ing or drinking saloon. You should have seen
pap's indignation.
Come, said the Star, "toddle off to the lock-
up-chcating lager beer saloon and kicking
up mussl"
Sir" said pap, "my name Is Mr.. Quottle-
baum, from Virginia, stop at the Astor-herc
pap drew himself up to his full height, which
does not exceed over five feet four" and this
i is my son William, sir"
"Comc, come, said the Star, we don't care
what your name is, Judge Russell or Mr. Ma
poleon Bonaparte, Mountford will look out for
/ all that AL VIC want is your corpus"
"Sir, said my father, walk with me TO the
Astor, and I win prove my respectability"
4 AT this stage slipped into the hands Of the
4 Star small doceur and he replied to pap,
awell, sir, as it is you, we viii walk to the
Astor."
Pap stepped out in true military style, his
hat on one side, his check pulled out, the lap
pei of his coat thrown back, one hand in the
arm-hole of his vest and the other clasping his
watch-chain, he strobe rapidly down Broad
way, followed by humble SELF two Stars, and
the proprietor Of the lager beer saloon. On
our arrival at the Astor, he stepped up to the
clerk, and waving his right hand, said, "Mr.
Clerk, please to introduce me to these gentle
men,"
(, The clerk, turning round, said, Gentle
men, this is Mr.. Quattlebaum, of Virginia, l as
sure you most respectable gentleman, who
pays his board weekly"
"There,n said pap, "you now know who
ann gentleman Of responsibility"
"Shertainly," said the lager beer man, but
dat dosh not bay my pills for lager peer aud
my proken CLASH"
"Wcll, what's to pay, vile publicanP"
"veIl, let us shcc--derc vas ter lager peer,
ten de vito peer, and Won broken glass--vell,
dink doc shilling will buy de bill"
"Two shilling-two shillingsl exclaimed
pap-turn man out Of lager beer saloon for
two shillings only, that is abominable. Billy
pay him the two shiIlngsl"
L handed over the cash, and as pap was about
retiring, one Of the Stars touched him gently
on the shoulder, and whispered few words
in his cart was like an electric shock-but
pap whispered few words in the ear Of the
clerk--who whispered to the Star-who whis-
pered back--thc clerk said all right-the star
repcated---all right and all now pa tod on
faicndly terms--but ut the end Of the week
found charged on the account Of board--all
right-$l0.
/ Yours truly and sincerely,
BILLY QUATrLEBAUM
| p. S.-Don'tlct the governor see or hear Of
this.