Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1858-04-29

Wouldnt / make myself generally
agreeable to all the ladies, and to talk
to eem as if they had souls above BON
netsi What a glorions man should
flaks {;
|..'. IL past. ness 5 ait ON the pave
hsehfs e. O.spo1 their 1ittle shoes aud in
lure etheff'leAHpcrs Ss 81
j woaldnt set my huge heel down on
tke trains oftheir silkeD dresses. to tear
sem half of; and ! think-T'm not
sauite sure, but ] 1H,ink-Idknock down
the ffst brute Who dared to complain
of Tie circumference of their garment !!
And when they come into a car or
omnibus, I wouldn't stick my nose into
! newspaper, or look abstractediy out Of
the window, nor get up grumbling al
ways the way with these womenl Not
a BIT of it! Ia spring up like patent
India-rubber ball, and if the old bache
lor on the right-hand side, and the
spruce clerk on the left hand side, didn't
COMPRESS themselves into the smallest
possible, space, TO make room for the
eripoliues, I'd know the reason why
And then, when l got married (for
What eud was | created, if not to pay
the miliiners' bills Of some blessed little
bit of vomanEiud,l weuldn't make
model hushand!, DO you suppose l
should bother her sweet life out of her.
by grumbling because apaltry button
had dropped of a shirt collar, ar u
string Of dickey? Do you think I'd
explode Ike a camphenc lamp every
time | found rip in my gloves? I'd
ike TO see myself stopping to any such
liltlenesst
1 wouldn' t consult the almanic every
time she bought new bonnet, to see
Just how many weeks she had worn the
old one; and l wouldn't snarl like u
cross tiSer-cat whenever the coffee hap
pened to be cold or the beaf, steak raw.
j lst as if wanted her t. al u e herself
"a dust aud ashes, and burn up her rosy
l!;sle face before the kitchen fire, hiie
I sat ~ith N Y heals or, the table, reIdlu@i
tie -ta.sj.er ia the-pe1t -Foefl.-
1 wouldn't use profane language
when she asked me to button up her
sweet little gaiter boots, or to fasten her
gloves, or even to carry her parcels down
Rroatlway, on rainy day-which l.
consider 10 be an intaiiible test Of pa
ticnce and mepkncss
Iwoufan't gorge myself with wine
and oysters at fashionable down town
restaurant, while my wife dmed at home
on cold mutton, and then look as black
rs an oYercharged thundeccloud, when
the grocers s.littie bin came in; |
wou.1nf cxrcnd small fGrtune in dia
nnond shirt-studs, extrayagsnt- bro id
elothe, and fancy canes, and then nut
ter about "hard times" when she ven
tured to ask me for half dollar to
buy check for the baby's aprons!
AndI rather think 4 20 shopping
with her, too, when she hintcd to that
effect, instead of invcntinS excuses
about Smith, or Brown, or the club
aye, and pay her bills, too, without
screNing up my mouth as if l had the
cramp in ny face And if she locked
into shop widow and admired thirty
dollar collar, I'd walk straight in and
buy it for her, instead of teiSning to be
absorbed in the signs opposite, and for
getting to hear what she said.
When I come home at night,
wouldn't make bear Of myself. behind
the evening paper, and answer sivagely.
when she tinidly asked what l was
reading. Women can't understand
politics y No, indeed l would read
her all the anecdotes, play with the
her how becoming her new silk was
That's the way to keep the women good
naturcd. take my word for it; and wha,
prettier sight, is there in the world than
a good, humored woman? Mind, !
- l. Il Il
first, because it. isn't any of their bust
ness, and second, because they're not
judges of the article. But put the
question to any sensible fellow between
the ages of eig htcen and twenty eight
and see what he'll say u
I'd make point of always asking my
wife's advice before l went to vote, and
doing Just as she said about it-then I'd
be sure to be always right. And if any
bachelor friend of mine had the impu-
.dence to ask me to an oyster supper
without including my wife in the invi
tation, do you suppose I'd go? Ask my
mothcr-in- law about that
Iwouldn't go to evening parties, ant
Airt desperately with other ladies', ant
talk about my poor, dear wife whose
ilfhealth precluded her enjoyment o
society" when knew very well tha
shewas sitting at home, alone with th'
cat, and crying her eyes out, over on
of my old ragged coats.
sHT'Good gracious, what a wide field 70
improvement there is among the be
mghted sons of Adam 1t puts M
completely ont of breath to think o
haifthe reforms I'd make. Oh, if onl.
were a man
rs Scene in Restaurant.-".W alter
if you call this bread, bring me a bricl
II want something softer.