White Cloud Kansas chief. [volume] (White Cloud, Kan.) 1857-1872, 1858-09-09
SEPTEMBER 8, 1853
CFrOm the Boston Daily Adyertis.I.)
A Modest Suggestion.

n A Modest Suggestion.
Ma. HA1E-The editor of the Phila-
deiphia Bulletin is in a Dilemma about
the Atlantic cable. he says:
|" How we are to fix the transatlantic
reports into readable shape, the differ
ence of tine being considered, is begin
ming to excite some humorous inquiry.
Shall we be obliged to remodel the lam
gusge and, invent lenses combining the
present with the future ? All things are
now determined by time Time is the
limit and condition Of action. Clocks
determine time. But how, when at four
o'clock in the afternoon, we learn that a
fire took place in Oxford street, London,
at seven o'clock What are we to say
then? eve learn that an alarming con-
hagration will have did occur about an
hour ago at seven O'Clock this evening"
Quis tanta eomponere ltssf Who will
straighten out the dispute for us?
Cooking apart, it is evident that some
thing must be done, and an average or
mean rate Of time, or an artificial time
be got up for the use Of all the world.
Meanwhile it is pleasant to observe the
amount of discussion which the telegraph
thus involves. No one knows what the
next twenty-four hours may bring forth.
and the interest of anticipation is intense"
Now, Mr. Editor, it seems to me that
your Philadelphia contemporary is Dor.
rowing unnecessary trouble. VIII not
the telegraph have the effect to give dig
nifty and character to your profession, and
to give you reputation for even greater
wisdom than you already possess? Take
the instance in point. We shall doubtless
see in some evening paper in few weeks,
some such announcement as this
HIGHLY IMPoRTASr.-We are assured
by our London correspondent, in whom
we place implicit confidence. or " We
have every reason to believe" that great
fire will occur in Oxford street, in that
city, about 7 o'clock this evening. The
heat will be intense, and three fremen will
be killed by falling walls. Water will
be very scarce. The loss will be estima-
ted at fISS,Q90.
After the numbering steamship Wander
bilt or Adriatic shall have arrived in 8
days, Is hours, and 81 minutes, bringing
those relics of a barbarous age, the mails,
the columns of the same paper will con-
tain the following paragraph:
OUR WoRsT FEARS REALIZED London
papers which came to hand this morning,
have the particulars of the great fire IN
Oxford street which we foretold in our
issue of the 2Sth ult., and fully confirm
the truth of what we then announced as
likely to occur. The Evening Ca6leam
will continue to furnish full transcript
of all that takes place abroad, which will
be laid before our readers. from three to
four hours in advance of the occurrence
of the events themselves. Price, two
cents a copy. .rr
But, Mr.. Editor, il we extend this
principle, the most beneficial results will
flow from it. For instance, the associa-
ted press in Boston may, perhaps, receive
dispatch from Paris, which he will alter
to suit the difference Of time, so that it
shall read as follows:
PARIS, Oct. 2S.-As the Emperor is
riding on the boulevard Sebastopol at six
o'clock this evening, he viii be shot dead
by an italian ruffian named Blackguardi,
who viii make his escape.
Now, sir, to avert such dire calamity
would extend the telegraph entirely
around the world. Thenths philanthropic
Mr.. Blanchard will at once forward abe
dispatch by the western line to Paris, and
it will reach that city October p, so that
the Emperor viii be |" fOrewarhd, FORE
armed, He lays his plans, and at mid
night sends two trusty gems d'armes to
arrest Blaekguardi, who is at once decap-
itated. The Emperor takes his evening
ride, and France is not yet an orphan.
] beg leave to throw out these sugges-
tons, in my humble way, and in the
meantime await with interest the progress
of science. Sic vos Sos VoBIs.
-S-o.-e-