The Placer herald., 1858-02-13
Jim Callin's Fight.

nave just returned from rlulng the cir
cult with my friend John Lawless, as capital
fellow as any of the youngsters at this bar;
knows the country, too; has eectioneered
all over it, "hail fellow" with every man,
woman, and child in the district.
= We are approaching the celebrated city Of
Rosevile consisting Of courthouse and
one other building, which blended in itself
the varied dignities of store, post Office, and
hotel, kept by one Mr.. James Carlin, or as
he was commonly called by the people of
the section, Jim Cal lin Justice of the infer
ior Court, Member of the Legislature, etc,
etc. tall stalwart fellow, with frame like
a stone wall, red hair, a squint fist like a
sledge hammer, and the pride and bully of
the country. To use his own words, he
"could outrun, outwork, and out drink any
other human critter atop Of dirt, and durn'd
of don't lick any body as says no to it."
Lawless and myself logged on; the sun was
setting, we had talked each other down, and
were mentally calculating the chances OF
stray fee from some unfortunate client, when
suddenly he Strengthened himself up and,
shouted
Hello, Jonce! Why, how are you old
fellow?"
looked and beheld specimen Of the ge-
nus "Cracker" who joyed in the altituee Of
five feet four; he had sandy hair, and his hair
eyes and complex on were Of one color; he
had more legs than body, and more stomach
than either; and he was clad in homespun
and brogans Of hide. Such was "Jonce."
"How are you gen til men? he said in tone
that no spelling can give the faintest idea
of; "why, how ar you, squire! Coin to
Rosevl,' spose to tend Cort. WAL kin
you give fellcr a lft!'
"Oh, yes; jump up behind"
He needed no second invitation; but, hav-
ing snugly ensconced himself in the place
designated, brisk conversation speedily en-
used on the price of eggs, butter, and poul
try, the prospects of the weather, the chances
of "tEe crap and other such delightful and
entertaining topics.
"You'll be gwine to stay at Jim Callin's
to nghtl Wall, alter supper Jim'll start n
ravin' an a tarin' around as usual talkin'
about his fitin' an how he kin lick creation.
Gen-til-men, Jim kin outbrag and outie any
man ever seed; but you jest ask him bout
that ar tite he fout down in Granbys Lane,
an you'll see how quick he'll drap his tail"
"How, Jonce, did he get thrashed!"
"Wal, | dunno what you call thrasbed; but
old Mr.. Townly who cum up when tho fte
WAS almost fought out, .old me that Jim had
got the durndest lickn' that he ever seed a
human git. jim KEEP his bed for ten days
alter it, an, when he riz his face wor of AS
NANNY colors as my old 'oman's quilt. III
be eternally dodrolted ef it warnt."
Tell us all about it, Jonce."
But this Jonce positively refused to do.
If we wanted to hear it, he declared we must
get it out of Jim himself. We "was lawyers
an ef we couldn't draw Jim out, we wosn't
worth nothing. He wanted to bar it, too
and durne'd eff he wouldn't be thar"
There was a pretty full attendance Of the
bar that night, and Jim was in his glory.
After supper when we were all round the
ample hearth, Jim, as Jonce had prophesed,
did commence, like Othelo, to speak Of his
"battes bravely, hardly fough,;" he went a
tarin' to his hearts content, and there was
no end to the victories he had gained. We
listened in revereniial silence, until, at pause
in the narration, Lawless asked him if he
had never been whipped.
mo, Stree! Thar amt the man livin' a:
kin do it, nurther."
"Never Jml Now think: if you were in
the witness-box would you swear you were
never whipped9"
"Wa-al, never hev bin; but did cum
mighty nigh onto it onct, did"
"How was itl Tell us, jim"
"Wal, I'll tell you all about it; but dod
rot my skin ef don't lick the fust man as
pokes fun at me about it; see Of l don't"
Of course we assured him that none Of us
would ever try SO dangerous an experiment;
and were thereupon enlightened as to the
circumstances which transpred when "Jim
Calm came so nigh onto being licked"
"Kin emmy one Of you gentilmen favor me
with seegar? Pm obleeged to you, Mister
Briehess. Wal, the way of it wer this.
Last August year ago, l hitched up my
mar in the buggy to 60 over to Mr.. Eliot's
He'd promised me some new fashioned tur-
nup-seed he had. which, he said, would bring
powerful big turnips. Twas one of the most
burned eff don't think t'would "A melted the
horns OH any OllIy goat wal, the sun war
pretty high, and | wos driving, slow kinder,
through Granby's Lane, on the shady, side
when here cum a feller up front of me, in a
buggy toe, AN he, too, war on the shady side
of the Lane. druv on, calc'latn' he would
turn out, but he druv on too, tell the horses
noses fetched, and then we stopped and look
ed at each other ike. lie was little wirey
Teller Suthin' like Mr.. BrieAess thar, an
didn't look like he had any Ate in him no
morn flea. So we looked at each other a
spell longer, an then seq, sez l, Cum,
arnt you gwine to turn outF
"'You be durned!' says he, right away
Turn out yerself I'm on the right side OF
the road, and I'll be drotted ef III 90 ento
the sun for sech as your
"'We'll soon see bout that, old boss" sos
T. c,.tx l@x L.