Muscatine weekly journal. [volume] (Muscatine, Iowa) 185?-1890, 1858-06-19
TO HOUkG WOMEN,
NUMBER FIVE.

NUMBER FIVE.
NV dplcslateI when You are m5sried
o IN R$risl he man you ldy6, s1ae
8 9ieT;syets there are = good many
Chances that you viii be influenced in
FOUR choice by other considerations. =
But you should never think Of marry
ng man simply because you love him
You may love man who has personal
habits that will make you miserable
Ton may love a man so lazy or so in
efhcient that your whole life will be
,ecessarily a continued struggle with
poverty. You may love a man who
has no adaptation to you-who is sur
y and stupid and unresponsive; who
can give no satisfactory return of your
affection, and who will repulse every
demonstration of your fondness. You
may love a man who is Supremacy sell
fish. When you become bound
for life to man, he should be one who
can make you happier than you would
be alone. There are doubtless some
Instances of a love 50 noble and SC
(eelf sacrificing that it will welcome pow.
elty and want, with the object of its
desire, as being far better than riches
without it. l will not quarrel with this.
! only say that generally, competence
I DO not mean wealth, } is necessary
tn that degree Of comfort without which
love fails of its sweetest exercises and
most grateful rewards. Love for a
man is only one reason why you should
marry lin. 4 here may be round
d ozen why YOU should not.
4 woman's heart is a very queer
thing, on the whole 1t falls in love
in the most unaccountable way, with
the most unaccountablc men. 1t is a
bard thing to reason with, and a much
harder thing to reason about, yet there
are some things which may be said to
those whose Judgment is not yet blinded
b; a passion that contemns reason
You should marry a man to whom you
will be willing to bend, or one whom
YOU know you can manage without his
knowledge, or with his consent. The
instan. cs are, very rare in which two
strong wills can harmonize in close
companionship. They must both be
governed by principle, and be mutually
forbearing from principle. l have seen
!. noble instances Of this, but not often.
The law Of nature is that the wife shall
bend to the husband that her will shall
at least be subjected yet there are in
stances of true affection b>tween man
and woman when subsection on the part
of the man becomes the law of nature,
the woman's judgment being the best,
and Ter will the strongest. In these
cases, the female mind possesses mas
culine characteristics and the male mind
feminine characteristics and it is just
as proper that her mind should govern
in these instances as that the male
mind should govern in others. But
there is something unnatural in this af-
ter all-or something, should say, out
Of the common order Of things. II a
woman sincerely believes that there is
no man to whose will she can gladly
subordinate her own, let her seek out a
feminine man, and make suit for his
hand. A noted female vocalist, whom
all Of us love, had the credit Of doing
this. He gave up even his religion for
her, though that may not have cost him
much, | presume that she governs him,
and | have yet to learn that the union
is not thoroughly a happy one. After
all, il the lady were graceful subject
OF kingly intellect, | cannot help
thinking that she would be in a more
natural position, and one in which she
would be happier than she is now.
You are placed in a position of pc
culiar temptation. You have ambitions
to be something more than pretty, ac-
complished and loved-at least some of
YOU have. You want career. AS a
woman, You see that you cannot have
one, save through matrimonial con-
nection. You wish to do something
to be somcthing-to be the mistress Of
an esta blishment, or to be associated
with one who has the public eye, or the
public consideration. 1t is thus that
wealth and position come to you with
very great temptations. A man Of
wealth, OF a man of power offers you
his hand, and unless he is absolutely
repulsiye, he will generally get it
You will try to love him, or learn to
love him, or think you love him; or
perhaps you will take a mercenary or
worldly view Of the whole thing, and
marry him for what Of wealth or posi-
ton, he can bring YOU, Now all this
marrying for money, or for position,
or. for any other consideration, when
genuine love is absent, is essential pros
titutiop: / know Of no difference be-
.tween selling ones self for a life time
and that sale Of the soul and body which
is made in the house of her whose steps
takemh on hell. If you find yourself
willing to give up yourself to man in
a lifelong connection 6Or the house he
gives you, for the silks and furs with
which he clothes you, for the society
into which lie introduces you, for the
position With which he endcws you, then
whether. you know it or not, you be-
come. the sister Of the drab you so in
consistently spurn from your side. In
fact, the motives, that have made her
what she is may be white by the side of
yours. Marrying for love may seem
to be very silly thing to woman of
ths.yorlds !; but marrying without love,
~fdfa' consideration, is wicked. s'Love
in a cottage','Iis laughed at by very
.'judicious people" but it is very
sw.et thing by the side, of indifference
! in a. M Lace T know oE nothinr M oro