Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1858-04-14

& Buul< E.@ >cIape.

Gossip" in the New York Dispatch
giycs the following description of "a
Bundiing Scrape."
| hayn't word to say against Jones,
not |; nor against Brown, either, but if
you wish to see a real character, just
get acquainted with our Smith. Oh, I
promise you he is an old "un." He is
one Of the direct descendants of the I'M
mortal John who S'tit, bled and died.
more for his country, perhaps, than any
other man or boy of his size. The fact
is, while boy, he was always fighting
and bleeding, in view of (which fat you
will be surprised to learn that he al
ways was and still is the yeriest cow
ard in the presence Of 9 woman.
Smith'sroosting dormitory is Just two
rooms from ours, and it is curious to
hear him lock the door at night, then
put table before it, then chair on
top Of that, and every other movable
article IN the room, on top Of that again,
for fear, suppose, that some female
somnamhuIist might take it in her head
to give him a call.
Bless me, how red he gets in the face
when we speak to him. Why, the
young woman who helps the family
with the houseworl, (they don't keep
a servant,) IS almost afraid to ask him
for buttons when she needs them TO put
on the bosom his shirt, and when she
takes up to him his clean clothes, she
has to wrap the shirts up in paper.
Poor Smith, it makes one melan-
choly to think oft. / don't suppose
he ever dreams of such q thing as mar
rying-in fact, I dent believe he could
entertain such thought and keep his
balance. | asked him one day if he
had always been so, and his reply was
that he got awfaIly frightened once by
4 nice young woman, after which exne-
rience he fought shy Of the whole tribe.
After trying in vain to reason hin out
OF his foolish prejudice, I insisted upon
his relating to ne the incident which
had 50 steeied him against the softer
sex.
well" said he at length, with a
sigh, ''if [ must, but YOU are the only
one to whom would relate the story,
for you don't belong to the 'Prunes and
Prism school" ''Thank-ee, sir" |
replied-''procecd, if YOU please-I am
all attention.' |WeIi.n he continued
''it is about three years since chum,
of mine asked me to accompany him
Just back OF b, In IT, star ..
New Jersey, to 4 quilting frolic. Now.
had always had a particular aversion
70 Jersey mud, Jersey LIGHTNING, and
Jersey dogs, but as I had novc" ha..
present at an a$sembIage Of jersey
bellies, and as quilting frolic was
something which I had often heard my
mother-heaVen bless her,-tell about
determined to know what it was by
personal experience. We reached the
scene Of action in good time, assisted
in tearing the quilt from the frame and
throwing 1t over a grist Of plump girl>
thereby dlsarranging their hair and 9th
er tiNins awfully. This fun lasted
some time, and | shouldn't wonder if
in the course Of it, they all cot kissed
After while the H1.t'ar came. AMI We
went to dancing with 4 will. and an un
derStanding also. Phew, the swea
Streamed down our faces. and we near
ly shook ourselves out Of our trouses-
hooks and eyes were Wing around loose
and nearly every Girl was backing "
to some other girl to get pinned up
That is what they called = Square
eight. We got along amazingly, and
in the course of the evening I manag
ed to get pretty thick with a certain
fair, red checked, roguish eyed dam
sci, who didn't need any wedding t.
bring her into proper shape-her hand
was as fat and warm as a Young rab
blt-and | felt all over as fbriars were
sticking in me when l took hold of i
to chasoc her around and dos-a-dos he,
back.
''After the performance was conclrl
ded, L got into a corner with the beau
Ity, and began sparkling her like fun