Marshall County Democrat. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1855-1859, 1858-06-10
A Leaf From Fanny Fern.


Dear me, must GO shopping. Shopping is a
nuisance, clerks are impcrtinent; femininity vic
timized. Miserable day, too mud pastered an inch
thick O.. lie side walk. Well, if we drop our
skirt, gcnt.emen cry Ugh if we lift them from
the m ud they level their eye glass at our ankles
The true definition of gentleman (not found in
complete Webster) is-biped who of muddy
day, is perfectly oblivous of anything but the shop
signs.
Viva la France! Ingenius Parisans, send us
over your clever inventon-a chain suspended
from the girdle, at the endof which is gold hand
to clasp up the superAuous length of our promina-
ding robes, thus releasing our human dgts and
leaving them at liberty to wrestle with rude Boreas
for the possession of the detestable little sham
bunnets, which the milliners persist in hanging on
the backs of our necks.
Well, here we are at Call and Ketchum's dry
goods store. Now comes the tug of war; let Jobs
mantle fall on my feminine shoulders.
Have you any blue slkl'
Yardstick entirely ignorant c. any colors, after
fifteen minutes snail like research, during which
down a silk that is as green as himself.
Oh. away with these stupid masculine clerks,
and give US women, we know by intuition what we
want, TO the immense saving our lugs and leather,
patience and prunella.
Here's Mr.. Timothy Tapes establishment
'Have you any lace collars (points) Mr.. Taper
Mr.. Tape looks benefcent, and shows me some
rounded collars, repeat my request in the most
pointed manner for pointed collars. Mr.. Tape re-
plies with patronizng grin
points is out, ma am
SO ami.
Dear me, how tired my feet are Nevertheless,
must have some merino. So l opened the door
of Mr. Humbug's dry goods store, which is about
half mile in length, and enquired for the desired
article. Young Yardstick directs me to the coun-
ter at the extreme end of the store. l commence
my travels thitherward through file of gaping
clerks, and arrive there just ten minutes before
two, by my repeater, when am told that they 'are
quite out of merinoes-but wont Lyones cloth do
aswellP Irush out in high state of frenzs, and
taking refuge N the next door neighbor, inquire for
some stockings, Whereupon the clerks inquire (of
the wrong customer) what price l wish to pay?'-
OF course lam so verdant as to be caught in that
srap, and, tetotally dsgusted with the entire inst
tuition Of shopping, drag my weary limbs into
new saloon to rest.
Bless me, what display of gliding and girls, and
gingerbread. What heap of mirrors There's
more than one Fanny Fern in the world. 1 found
that out since came in.
what viii you be pleased to have?' Julius
Cesar. look at that white-aproned waiter pull
ing out his snuf.box and taking pinch of snuff
right over that bowl of white sugar that will be
handed in FIVE minutes to sweeten my tea! And
there's another coming his hair with pocket
comb over that dish of oysters.
what will havep Starve; but I'll have moth
ing till / can find cleaner place than this to eat
in.
Shades Of old Paul Pry Boston. what do hear.
Two (well, Ideclare 1 am not sure whether they
are ladies or womcn.) | don't understand these
got on bunnets, ard telling the walters to bring
them "a bottle of Maraschine de Zara, some sponge
cake, and some brandy See them sip the cordial
in their glasses with the gusto of an old topper
See their eyes sparkle and their checks flush, I'd
just hear their emancipated little tongues go. Won
der il their husbands know that they-but of
course they don't. However, it is six of one and
half dozen of the other. They are probably turn.
ing down sherry cobblers and eating oysters at
Florence's and their poor hungry childrcn-while
their parents are daintyizing-are coming home
hungry from school to eat fragment of dinner
picked up at home by lazy set of servants.
Heigho. ladies slipping wine in public saloon?
Pilgrim rock! hide Yourself under ground! Well
it is very shocking the number of married women
who pass their time running their health in these
saloons, devouring Parsian confectionery and tain
ting their children's blood with an appetite for
strong drink. Oh. what moekery of home must
theirs be! Heaven pity the children reared there,
left to the chance training of vicious hirclings!
Farmers Daughter5