Meigs County telegraph. [volume] (Pomeroy [Ohio]) 1848-1859, 1858-01-05
81 Mumor0ns.

Gov. WISE AND HIS PRANKS.-A large
number of the people ofVirginia appear
10 regard their Governor with sentiment
similar to THAT entertained by the Indians
toward. a lunatic--aso one who is especially
favored by the Great Spirit. Others, how.
ever, are able to see in his antics nothing
more than the alterations of one who is
simply bigger fool, than his neighbors.
OF the latter class is the editor of the Rich
mond Whig, who treats the literary loose
ness for which the Governor is 30 remark
able, in the following irreverent manner:
% "Ourneighbor, the Governor, being an
extra sort of an individual, we have done
him the honor to print his message in an
extra sheet, which will accompany the
daily and country editions of the Wing to-
day. Ordinary and commonplace Cover
,;nors content themselves with delivering
message; but oar Governor, being the i'm
mensest and most eccentric of pumpkins,
has been unable to relieve himself Of his
surplus gas in less thanthree! Wounder-
full and extraordinary man! He comes
nearer discharging the functions of steam
engine than any other man or thing on the
top of the ground. He can write and
yspeak forever, on any and all subjects,
tand,' instead ofexperiencing the slightest
ssense of exhaustion or fatigue, appears
to catch new inspiration with every new
effort, ana we take it, that he will never
stop this kind of business until Old Nick
himself shall take him by the throat and
drag him home. And even after he gets
homes hewill instantly insist upon assem-
bling all the devils in Pandemoniun1, big
and little, and making them speech
TO those not present on the interesting oc-
casion he will inevitably address long
letter How marvelousis ,Gizard- Foot,
and how sublimely ridiculous!''
s1ia'As RICH PuFF.-A manufacturer and
vender OF quack medicines, recently wrote
70 a friend living out west, for a good
~ strong recommendation of his, the manu-
-,facturer's "Balsam.'' Ina few days he re-
vceived the following, which we call pretty
strong: ys,,1.t.J Jrutq.i ',.5t 80,
'Dear Sir-The land composing my
farm has hitherto been so poor, that a
Scotchman could not get living off it.
and so stony that we had to slice our pota-
setoes and plant them edgeways, but hear
ing of your basam, / put some on the cor
Ber of a ten acre lot surrounded by "a raj
fence, and in the.morning found that the
rocks had entirely disappeared, aneat stone
:; wall encircled the field, and the rails were
split into oven wood and piled up symmet-
Iicslly mIny back yard. ! ~
81 put half an ounce into the middle oil
huckleberry .swampr--in two days it was
cleared off, planted with corn and pump
kins, and row of peach trees in full bios
som through the middle. y i5i.5e-i E.
Ao L.,
strength, Il would say that it drew a .stri
king likeness of my eldest son out of a mil
pond, drew blister all over his stomach
drew a load Of potatoes fourAmiles to mar
ket, and eventually drew prize of ninety.
seven dollars in lottery" ya2Feai fa@
.gOLD BUT GooD.---Soon after the Copar
nican system of astronomy began to b.
generally understood, an old Connection
farmer went to his minister sith the fOl.
lowing inquiry:
,'o4D2. r. 2. do you believe the iiewsto
ry they tell about the earth moving 'rount
The sun?pi,s SvfYy pU0pa -yau,
"Do you think it's according to thu
Scriptures! If it's true, how could Joshua
f.. command the sun to stand stil?"
Fufs-ffOt 4uOOh VIC OOClOt1
his head, 'Joshua commanded the sun Il
stand still, did hep
"Yes."
"Well, it stood, did it not?'' H
.y"Yes.'s tiVuW TJl. .tg s..tr
s, VERY well--did you ever hear he Sc
the sun going again?" ..yF lr'
The RINo AND THE RoPE.--A maidei
lady, not remarkable for either beauty
youth or good temper, came to a Mr.
Arnold for advice, as to how she could ge
rid of troublesome suitor. .r1
"Oh, marry him. he advised.
"Nay; would see him hanged first"
30 ''No madam, marry him, as ] said to you
and I'LL assure you il will be but a shor
time before he hangs himself"
WHAT 4 WrsH There is said TO be
young lady in our city, who recent,
wished she was cart wheel, because
has lots of 'JsilOsos. We are glad sh'