Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, Va. [W. Va.]) 1852-1859, 1858-11-30
WHEEL
THE INTELLTGENCER.
Tnntin.nofPnnch.

Hastings Of Punch.
"AND THEM's MY OPGS1oNs !'-'sDonft tellme
Sir" said Mrs. SpitGre, with a face burning like
a kitchen fire mo man has right to be a
bachelor. It's his own fault if he is, and serve
him right too, say 1! An old maid, poor crea-
ture, isfrequently an old maid from compulsion;
but when a man is n bachelor, / mean to saw
that, nine times out of ten, he is bachelor
from choice; and pretty choice it is. It's all
the difference between making your own bed,
and having it made for you. And thenlfs nv
opinionsl" And here Mrs. Sptfire folded her
arms. Ia Napoleon, as though she were perfect
ly ready toreceive the combind contradictions
of the entire wOrld.-[ Extract from an Unpub-
lished Novel. l Is 81
A DyIsIoN-To he TAKEN CRlTlcALLY.-Cr
les may be devided- into two Glasses paper
knives, and book-markers. The former only
cut up the books the latter mark the passages
to be referred to- Hermit of the Haymarket.
Charles Silverwit was staying at the country
house of his sister-ip-law, Lady Crawley, who
has charming and beautiful sheet of water
before her house. Silverwit and q young lady
were looking at the still lake, in which the trees
were reflected, when the latter said that the
scene reminded her of Scotland. At this mo
ment Lady Crawley came out, followed blythe
Bcadle Of the neigh6oring church "It reminds
me of the land of Scott" said Charles; ''for
there is the Lady of the Lake talking to the
Lord of the Aisles"--[ From Punch's Literary.
Anecdotes
A TREMENDOUS BAG.-Miss Lucy Smith went
out shopping the other day, and brought home
with her most tremendous bng. 1t was SO
heavy, that it was as much us the Page could
do to bring it into the paror to be inspected by &,
the ladies'. Upon its contents being emptied
on to the dining room table, twas found to con-
tain:-a bottle of Kiss me Quick, a pair of white
satin shoes, a bulky packet of gloves (cleaned,)
dozen rolls of cotton, a paper of pearl buttons
Ito mend Papa's shirts.) a box of.cough lozen-,
gers, bundle of violet powder, a kettle-holder,~
ten yards of blue ribbon, a pack of club cards. a
pair of American overshoes, n pot of bear's,
grease, pound of jujubes, velvet -necktie,
three cambria pocket handkerchiefs with Lucy
embroidered in gay foowers in the corners
pair of mittens, small tin can supposed to con-
tain acidulated drops; beads and long rims. and
gold daggers and imitation coins for the hair,
fifteen yards of the best long cloth, a bundle of
brushes and small jars of gum for potichohnanies
work, small curling-irons, several small pots
containing perfumes and mysterious volatile
essences for the toilette-table, numerous papers
of different varieties of Berlin wool with colored5
pattern of Brigand for the same, two ounces of
shot to sew round the bottornof ones dress,
seven yards of edging for night caps, a set of
dolls ea-thing, two packages of bird.seed for
the canary, a bath bun, one Gon0cnt Cell and
14co Fond Hearts, with Ten THousandG a Year.
Besides the above, there was concealed inside
the long cloth yellow book, that looked suspi-
ciously like French novel: but, as it was hasti-
ly snatched up by Miss Lucy, tits perfectly i'm
possible to mention the name of it. Miss Smith
was not little pleased with the results other
days sport, having brought down every one of
the articles enumerated in the bag hersefin the
space of little more than four hours and u quar-.
ter. 1t must be mentioned, however, that the
lady in question is practiSed hand at shopping
having been often taken out by her respected
Mamma when she was not much more than five
years old, fora days run amongst the most
crefully preserved shops in the Metropolis. on
happy privilege ofcarrying the bag: