The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1858-07-29
Gbr 2gome Cirtlc.
Mr.. Blifkins's Baby.

That first baby was a great institution.
AS soon as he came into this breathing
world" as the late w. Shakespeare has
it, he took command in our house.
Everything was subservient to him.
The baby was the balance-wheel that
regulated everything. He regulated
the temperature, he regulated the food,
he regulated the servants, he regulated
me. For the first six months Of that
precious existence, he had me up, on an
average, six times a night. "Mr. Blif-
lins," says my wife, "bring that light
here, do; the baby looks so strangely;
I'm so afraid it will have a it!' Of
course the lamp was brought, and, Of
course, the baby lay sucking his fist,
like a little white bear, as he was. "Mr
Blifkins, said my wife, 81 think l feel
a draught of air; l wish you would get
up and see if the window is not open a
little, because baby might get sick. -
Nothing was the matter with the win
dow, as very well knew. "Mr. Blif-
kins, says my wife, as L was going to
sleep again, "that lamp, as you have
placed it, shines directly in the baby's
eyes-strauge that you have no more
consideration 1 arranged the light,
and went to bed again. just as 1 was
dropping to sleep again, "Mr. Blif-
kins, said my wife, "did you think to
buy that broma to-day for the baby? ~
"My dear, said I, "will you do me the
injustice to believe that l could over
look a matter so essential to the COM
fort Of that inestimable Child?" She
apologized very handsomely, but made
her anxiety the scape-goat. l forgave
her, and without saying a word more to
her, addressed myself to sleep. "Mr.
Blifkins," " said my wife, shaking me,
"you must not snore So you will wake
the baby" "Jost so, jest so, said 1,
half asleep, thinking I was Solon Shin
gle. "Mr. Blifkins," said my wife,
"will you get up, and get me the warm
cruel from the nurse-lamp for the baby?
The dear childI if it wasn't for his
mother, 1 don't know what he would do.
How can you sleep so, Mr.. Blifkins?
II suspect, my dear, said /, "that it is
because l am tired" ooh, it's very well
for you men to talk about being tired,
said my wife, "I don't know what you
would do if you had to toll apd drudge
like poor woman with baby" I tried
to soothe her by telling her she had nc
patience at all, and got up for the pos.
set. Having aided in answering the
baby's requirements, 1 stepped into bed
again, with the hope Of sleeping. "Mr
Blifkins," said she, in a loud key.
said nothing. ooh, dearl" said that es
Unable woman, in great apparent an
guish, show can man who has arrived
at the honor of a live baby Of his own
sleep, when he don't know that the
dear child will live till morning"
remained silent, and after a while
deeming that Mrs Blifkins had gone t.
sleep, 1 stretched my limbs for Tepose
How long / slept / don't know, but
was awakened bya furious jab in th,
forehead by some sharp instrument
1 started up and Mrs. Blifkins wa
sitting up in bed adjusting some por
tion Of the baby's dress She had, in
state of semi-somnolence, mistaken m,
head for the pillow, which she Gus
tomarily used for a nocturnal pin
cushion! I protested against sucl
treatment in somewhat round terms
pointing to several perforations in m,
forehead. She told mo I should will
ingly bear such trifing things for tn,
sake Of the babyl I insisted on it tina
1 didn't think my duty as a parent Il
that young immortal required the sur
render Of my forehead for a pinoush
ion. This was one of many night
passed in this way. The truth was
that this baby was what evory othe
mans frst baby is-an autoorat, abso
Lutte and unlimited.
Such was the story Of Bifkins, a
he related it to us the other day. ]
is little exaggerated picture Of ever
mans experience Saturday Evenin
Post.
The man who never says nothing I