Marshall County Democrat. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1855-1859, 1858-07-29
eralr ~ From the New York Mercuy.s -
DOesticks' Lager BeersExper-
Ell .sz imenf. aCa -

/
Lager Beer is kindly liquid. and a
moral agent; it is pleasant to the taste, and
withal. it is not intoxicating-so people
say. Lager has taken out his papers. and
become naturalized. and is now as thor
oughly American as he was peculiarly Ger
man. Lager is capital fellow to know,
and have jus. formed his acquaintance.
never drink inebriating compounds, for
several reasons; one of which is, can't af-
ford the money it costs to get drunk, OF
the time it takes to get sober. have
therefore renounced my former friends
Brandy Cocktail and Whisky Punch, who
are slippery fellows. B. C. left me in a
station-house with my head the size of a
peach-basket, ard w. P. on one occasion
led me into the company of some gentle
manly looking individuals who, picked my
pockets ofall my money. and then blacked
my eyes because didn't get bigger sal
ary. re.
But the other night went with Dam
phool to drink lager beer, because am
convinced it does not contain half as much
alcohol as distillery milk, and there is no
more danger of man getting drunk upon
lager than upon sweet cream.
We went to the place; there was huge
stuffed alligator nailed against the wall,
and about fifty msn were sitting at round
tables, each with a pipe in his mouth and a
glass in his fist Twenty girls were run
ming about with great clusters Of beer mugs
in their hands. and with their pockets full
of copper change.
There was little space at each end Of
the room devoted to music, containing one
piano with Dutchman attached, two vio-
Inns, horn with so many twists and curls
that i: looked like very elaborate edition
Of Yankee Doodle done in brass, and pat
riarchal fiddle of immense proportions,
which scorned to utter note of less digni-
ty than the double C, and which was big
enough for two to sleep in, with room to
turn over separately.
After long search we found two chairs
which were not pre-empted by Dutchmen,
but the smoke was so thick that we had to
cut little air hole with our jack knives
before We could see to sit down without
getting into somebody's beer mug. Then
we thumped on the table vigorously until
a German lady loomed through the tobacco
fog, and finally answered our sammops.--
Some one of her playful countrymen had
just baptized her'wiih bear slops, and she
was now dripping from the recent flood,
and was as wet as if she had been out in a
shower Of lager without an umbrella.
Damphool gave her feeble wink, and
said, "zwei." whereupon she brought US,
with her own hands. two mugs o. the bev-
erage. known as "lager' aud stood waiting
with her hands on her hips. Thought she
wanted to enter into conversation, so, by
way Of making myself agreeable, winked
as Damphool had, and also said 'zwei. -
Thought '.zwei" was term ofendearment.
She deserted us for an instant, and then
came back with two mugs of beer. In
agined, of course, "zwei" meant darling,
and that she had misunderstood me. At
tempted to explain in manner following:
"Zwei zwei," said I; ono more beer, but
zwei," after which lucid explanation she
vanished and brought two more mugs, at
which Damphool stopped laughing long
enough to tell me that she would keep
bringing pint doses of lager as long as l
continued to remark "zvei," which he in
formed me meant "two glasses of lager,
and be in hurry about it, He said, also
that the reason that she did not leave us
when she had served us, was because she
wanted her change. Paid her the money,
thanked my friend for his gratuitous lesson
in German, and began to drink.
The first glass seemed like sour. strong
beer, with good deal of water in it; the
next one was not SO sour; and the next one
tasted as though the original beer had been
much stronger and they had not diluted it
so much Then we rested, and as l had
drank three pints already, was willing to
quit. but Damphool assured me ''lager is
not intoxicating;" so after little settling
down. thought l could hold another glass
and ordered it. 1t was brought by young
lady who seemed to have four eyes and two
noses, pointing in different directions.
! which unusual effect was undoubtedly caus-
ed by smoke. a -.
Then 1 thought I'd have glass -
| Ia liquid known to most Of the inhabitalts
of Manhattan. 1t was brought by girl
so pretty, that Immediately ordered two
more, and kept her waiting forthe change
each time SO that could look at her
Then we had some cheese full of holes;
IT,. 4ool, /, e,v-oco. Dam r,hool su0ros-