Fremont journal. [volume] (Fremont, Sandusky County [Ohio]) 1853-1866, 1858-10-08
, ,MistGllanGons.
T. III IL CHUR RCH RIAL;
OR, JENyN' THE MASoNS.
BY ron MoRRls.

BY ron NORRIS.
Tho Rev. Baruch Heidlobsrgcr was ar
ranged before the Effete congregation for
jynin' the Freemasoas People cum Jfar
and neers TO see him tried. 1t was better
nor horse race to the folks IN them diggins,
and most as good rs hanging.
The members of the church, many of
them brought their families in wagons, de-
tarmed to see it out cost what it nout
Old Miss Slowup, the cake ooman
brought her whole stock along; so did free
Josh, who makes temperance beer out of
whiskcy and molassos so did Sock Freeing
hysen, who peddles cowbells of his own
manufacture. Candidates were there,
agents wore there, the devil (printcr's) was
there. The masous, OF whom there are not
many among those desolate hills, mustered
in full strength. Finally, there was gem
cral turnout, and to conclude we were there
ourself.
Parson Heidleberger's wife, who had gone
sick when she hsern tell that her beloved
Barnch had pitched headforemost into ma
sontry, got well again when sho found hs
was likely to be expelled from tho church
on account of it, and tuck her lords part
with infinite vivacity. She bad sarched in
vain for tie brand, it could Mt be found.
1t was the Saturday before the third Sab
bath in May. Efiete church was carly
crowded, chocktM. Its seats, made of rails,
whose sharp edges would have aroused the
sympathy Of rooster, were crowded thick
ly on their points of gravity, by human be-
ings painfully balanced. The pulpit was
but pom closed on three sides, but it was
crowded by five and one-half preachers,
come to help the Jreethrin try the case, and
degrade the criminal. The reverend mon
ster himself was on the spot. He was an
old man, with thin gray hairs, tall in stat
ture, but with downcast look like an ON
phalopsychits; meek in counteuance, gentle
Of speech, benevolent in visage-who would
have thought, to see him sitting there, gaz-
ing calmly around him, that he, Baruch
Heidleberger, for twenty years jealous
minister, who had stemmed tho torrent of
religious innovations, could so previously
have overstspped church rules and jyncd
tie masons. But he had and here was the
result. What's the world coming tol Who
knows.
Effeto church was not like tho Temple
of Luxor, either in shape or magnifcence,
still less did it resemble king Solomon's
Temple. On the contrary, it was low,
dirt-daubed log-cabin of thing, forty by
thirty, plain as linsey, and cold as Quaker.
AS Rev. Mr.. Heidleberger arose in it, TO an
swer the charges read by the moderator,
and TO plead tho merits of the case, his
bald top just reached the cross-bsam that
bound the eends of the building together.
The charges were specific; the plea was
guilty.
A hurried consultation, 10 a hoarse whis-
per heard to the horse-block, and then the
moderator in confused manner, begged
lsape TO ax the congrgdshun eff he should de-
Har the guilty brother expended or suspeH-
cd
Another hurried consultation, during
which eleving old oomen who wore black
bonnets and no shoes, loudly clamored, sus-
peN him, suspect him after which the mod
orator prudently expressed the idea that
had been limited to him by one of the old
er members, and told Parson Heidleberger,
"Ef he d any thing TO norate in the way of
vindiction, he mout."
The criminal acknowledged the courtesy
by low bow, and went on in his mock,
quiet way, to norGte:
al feel to admit brethren beloved, 1.-THE
old man differed from Webster in his ortho-
epy, as the reader will perceive,) l feel TO
admit, that 'cordin' to church rules, done
wrong. Yes, done wrong. Masonry is
a seacurt instushun, and you all done gin in
your testimonies gin seacurt instuShuns, long
ago"
A fat sort of groau from the old ladies,
and general expression of yes, praise the
Lord.
81 know that when Bob Clink got drunk,
and set my backy barn to fire, you suspcll-
ed him, and when you tuck him back, and
he quit drink, and jyned the Sons, you sus-
pelled him again"
An ssseryation, contradictory to the in