Smyrna times., 1858-11-18
How George" became a Teetotaler

short time since, young man living in
Ogdensburgh, N. Y whose name we shall call
George, took to drinking rather more than
usual and some of his friends endeavored 10
cure him One day, when he was in rather a
loose condition, they got him in a rsom, nd
cOmme enced converSing about deIirium tremeaS.
directing all their remarks to him, and telling
him what fearful objects, such as snakes aud
rats, were always seen by the victims of this
horrible disease. When the conversation had
waxed high on this theme, one of the number
stepped out of the room, and from a trap which
was at hand let large rat into the ROOM
None of his friends appeared to see it, but the
young man who was to be the victim seized
chair and hurled it at the rat, completely using
up the piece of furniture in the operation.-
Another chair shared the same fate. when his
friends seized him, and with terror depicted in
their faces, demanded to know what was the
matter.
"Why, don't you see that cursed big rat 7"
said he, pointing to the animal, which, after
the manner of rats, was making its way around
the room, close TO the walls.
They all saw it, but all replied that they
didn't see it-"ther DGS no r0t''
" But there as ~ said he, as another chair
went 10 pieces in an Intellectual attempt to
crush the obnoxious vermin.
At this moment they again seized him, and
after terrific scuffle, threw him down on the
floor, and with terror in their faces, screamed,
"Charley run for a doctor ~
Charley started for the door, when George
desired to be informed "what was up.''
"Up!" said they, why, you've got the de-
lirium tremens"
Charley opened the door to go out, when
George raised himself on his elbow and said,
Z" "Charey, where are going!'
"Going! !" said Charley, "going for a DOCTOR"
"Going for doctor !" rejoined George "for
what ~
"FOr what" repeated Charley, why, you've
got the delrium lrenens!"
"The delirlum tremeus-have / % repeated
George. "How do you know I've got the de-
lirum tremens!"
"Easy enough" says Charley; "you've
commenced seeing rats :"
"Seeng rats!'' said George, in a sort of
nusing way "seeing rats! Think you must
be mistaken, Charley"
i" Mistaken - said Charley.
"Yes, mistaken" rejoned George. "IGin't
the mani haUen't seen no rat ~
The boys let George up after that, and from
that day to this he hasn't touched q glass of
liquor, and I" hasn't seen no rats mot the first
rat.
OF The happy mans map of the world
Home.
OF 1t is always safe TO learn, even from our
our enemies--sedom safe to venture to instruct
even our friends.
OF The oldest piece of furniture is the null
tiplication table. Ii was constructed more
than two thousand years ago, and is yet as good
as new.
HARMLESS CURE FOR WARrs.-Dissolve
penny worth of sal ammOniac in gill of soft
water, and wet the warts frequently with the
solution.
OF The worthiest people are the most as
sailed by slander; as we usually find that to be
the beet fruit that the birds have been peckng
at.
GTThe cook, the housemaid, and the laund-
ress are the pillars on which our domestic COM
fort rests. Without them, nothing is possible
in family or individual life. The well-cooked
dinner, the tidy room, the clean shirt, are the
landmarks of true civilization. Below them
all is barbarism.