The North-Carolinian. [volume] (Fayetteville [N.C.]) 1839-1861, 1858-04-10


Wat havIs't I, vour honor returned Pal
4 why, there's roast an billed, and stewed an
fried an the mu:phies to the back iv tha
again; an its seldom the likes iv them grasses
Frenchman's muZzle in his own country he ad
ded mentally.
i Vat you have manager?' quoth the French
lman
\ 'Arrah, be aisy, your honor replied Pat
the divil resave the taste iv mangy meat i
ueder the same roof wild We, barrin the ouIt
SIP dog, an she is neither here nor there il
ath you know
fMisericorde. calculated Monsieur, some
what d,scomposed, and not comprehendng tht
intent of Pats phraseology, 'Manger, l say
Wanger.'
You need not be calln body names ii
! giberish, for all that said Pat, IAN I'l take
my Bible oath in the bargain, that the sorrow
i bit of mangy or meazly mate is under the same
thatch wild ye'
| piab.ev cried Moseur, nearly out of "a
tience, for dinniere, say dinniere'
Och, regarding the dinner, is it! said Pat
'mesha, sure | told your honor all about that
/ long ago. We've roast an billed an stewed
an fried; but if yon want to know all the inns
and outs iv the business, why, here's the bill
and your honor may pick and choose for the
matter iv that.
Pat Jagged out his bill of fare, which had
been prepared for he occasion by his better
half, and the contents of which he was as ut
1erly ignorant of as his guest, before he had
perused them. In fact it is matter of specu-
latlon, whether the sum total could at any pc
riod have been made ont within a circuit of
some miles-he placed it however before his
guest.
RIOS bif? inquired the Frenchman, as his
eyes caught the first item.
Thunder an oun'sH thought Pat, 'I'm dished
now alti.rither intrely--Roast beef your honor!
/ trOth thin l wOud recommend it f,aEaSe
see its long klled-long enough he added
! -sccsnr bad luck TO the caste
iv dead COW, stared me in the face since ould
Moileen's leg last Chrs,mast.'
'Vealn rejoined Monsieur.
Nor that neither, said Pat tits only slnk,
your honor-s stink indeed he continued to him
self, for its not dead yet
'Pigeons, enumerated the Frenchman, wi th
the true uasal twang, annulng the finals.
Och sure that's not in it, cried Pat: what
the dickens does he mean at ALL at ALL wild his
pushcng.'
'Pigeons reiterated the guest
Och bother, your honor, sure it's not game
you are making iv me?' said Pat
Pigeons rejoined the Frenchman, raising
his tone.
BY the hockey, have it, cried Pat, after
vehement scratching of lis carroty pate-'an'
it's myself that can shut your honor to fair
the pusheens Faith its luck ! thought v it
WHliletuu. AHu Tie EIdtC HiS tAll III NSi gree
with his successful Interpretation
1t happened that upon this identical morning
Pats domestic cat bad achieved her accouch-
ment: the event Of which had been increase
TO his family to the extent of five fine thriving
comely kittens, or pnrsheens, as Fat would term
them in his native parlance. One of those was
in accordance, as he imagined, with his guests
directions, brought 10 the knafe, dismembered,
fricasseed, and IN proper time duly served up
for dinner. The dish proved savonry; Monsieur
sinarked his lips, and on the ensuing day,
repetition of the precious article was ordered
on the next day an en- core-on the next de
en- po; and SO until the sixth, when Pats
spusleens' were exhausted, he made his appear
ance before his guest with an unusually sombre
cast of vsage.
'Pigeons2 said the Frenchman.
'All gene your honor returned Pat; 'an'
the borrow one more in the parish for love or
money, barrn the ould cat, that's been mousin
here these four years come next Patrickmas.'
The catl' calculated the Frenchman.
What eise?' cried Pat.
'Catr re-cchoed the Frenchman, with visi-
BILE emotion of the stomach and countepaAce.
| Pat opened his mouth scratched his head
and looked aghast. Monsieur stormed, spat,
and raved by turns. Pat scratched and scratch
| ed again, aud at length an eclancsssenent took
| place.
We cannot say precisely whether or not the
| stomach pump had been invented before this
period, and consequently whether it was put in
requsiton this occasion; but it is certain
that sounds and symptoms would have evineed
! that such instrument had been used effectu
ally upon The interior Of Monsieur Frenchmar
who had been lnxuriating upon, aud did no,
fail to recolect, to the last day Of his life, Pal
| Durkan's pigeons.
| A Western Judge recently gave vent te
his detestation of bad liquors, in the follow.
ing charge: "Gentleman of the Jury:
Pure, unadulterat ted liquor is a wholesome
and pleasant beverage, and as far as expert
pnce of the Court extends, conduces te
health and longevity; but bad article O
liquor, gentlemen, Or, what is worse, a drug
ged article, cannot be tolerated.; and if deal
| ers from below will send up into this beau.
| tiful country, SO blessed with the smiles o
a benignant Creator, such miserable
quantity of liquors, as the proof shows thi:
to be, in this Court, Geentlemen of the Jury
they cannot recover"
Dan Tucker. who has so often been inform &c