The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1858-07-08
NO. 90

friends, ,the editor was sinsle), young
misses even cast upon him loving smile,
young widows and old maids greeted bin
with most abandoned hattery.
Many new names were added to the
I subscription list, and advertisements came
rapidly in with promise of prompt pay
ment. So the uew enterprise was faitly
under sail, with fair sky, clear ofing
and spanking breeze A larger number
Of subscribers were on the book than had
been anticipated, and though but few had
paid in advance, yet there was every as
surance that the pay would be fortbcom-
ing when needed With full hope our he
ro pursued bis prosperous voyage on the
sea editorial, little dreaming of cloud
sr storm in the future.
Months passed away Novelty bad
withdrawn its charm, while plain re ality
began to present to the publisher Of the
'Iuvestigator' the asperites Of the enter
prise. Bills were coa,ing due, and mon
ey must be had to meet them. An attempts
was made to collect, but only dollar
here and there could be raised. Subseri-
bers began with one accord to make cx-
cuses, and fair promises for the future
Still hoping for that millennium of pub
fishers, when delinquent subscriber will
pay up their bills, recourse was had to
borrowing money at three per cent. This
was rash expedient, but the only alter
native, as the many warm friends of the
press refused to do better. Repeated
duns appeared in the columns of the ''In-
vestigator," calling on delinquents to pay
up their arrearages; but with very little
effect.
Disaffection now began to creep in,and
wbiom friends began to weary of well
doing" They couldn't see why it need
ed money to carry on small paper. \
paper with six hundred names on the liss
ought to live without complaint. The
SkinAinters thoDght they were not pufed
enough, and hesped their maledictions on
the editor for presuming to charge for
editorial notices Pussyman thought his
puff not quite as good as Slow and -easy's.
The politics of the paper began to be de-
nounced in as many different ways as
there were political parties Thus, hun
dreds of complaints were entered against
the hapless editor, because he dared cali
for justice"
By this time our hero finds himself in
no enViabe position-sans dollars, sans
friends, sans bopel He had been oharg-
ed exorbitant prices for all that he bad
reeeived-high rents, outrageous bills for
boarding, etc. Amid ineessant labor az
the case and press, he had failed to make
bis paper as interesting "a was demanded
But no allowances were made; inability
was the excuse Of exactiDg readers. The
learned Snizzles had written some dry
trash for the farmers on Gathering Seed
Corn''-a subject Of which the author
was profoundly ignorant Also another
article on the topography of a Frog
Pond" with Critical Notes concerning
the inhabitants thereof.
The volume was now half closed. A
crisis il business affairs had almost par
alyzed trade; money was scarce and col
ections almost impossible to be made
The last bundle" of paper was used,
while the paper mills refused further
credit until former supplies were paid
At this critical juncture our almost dis
heartened editor made a last effort to col
lect outstanding accounts. By this time
creditors bad ceased to be even ge3ltleDzal5-
W. If one pail up he did SO oy with
drawing further patronage. Some de-
MED their accounts; and they never sub
scrbed aud would not pay. Il was 20
use. A sufficient sum of money could
not be raised to purchase a fresh supply
of paper; so after brilliant descending
existence of six months, the "BloWtowD
Scientific Investigator" blOaced aPi"
So ended the magnificent farce. The
aditor found himself two hundred dollars
out of pocket, besides his six months
work. His credit was likewise gone. aud
but few friends remained. Sianderous
tongues circulated ell manner of false re-
ports in regard tOthe paper AID the unfor-
tunate proprietor. The Office was soon sod
to pay of tie debts, when hungry creditors
like ravenous wolves rushed together.
each one struggling for the greatest share
of the spoils And the goal citizens said
amen! 1t has cost US but little, and done
a good deal of goodl "Who cares for ca
peRSe"