Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1858-06-17
Advice 10 VI .Yricd PeoD,c.


nally in the Springfield (Mass.) Re
publican, and has a practical merit about
1t, which commends it to the attention Of
all married people, as we'll as to all those
who crpect to be married. The advice
given Is i'll accordance with the Scriptu-
raj fnjuFc&on to all meu to ''love their
wives" and if it were universally follow
cd by those who may enter the married
state as well as by those who are NOR IN
it, the world would be an Edcn-or
next thing to it.
You are married, and it is for letter
or for worse. You are bound to one
another as companions for life. Did it
ever occur to you that this a s~tupendous,
momcntous fact? Did you ever think
that since you came into the world, a
re lou lump of helpless life that there
is no fact of your history which will so
much affect your destiny as this? 1 do
not propose to inquire into the motives
which led you to this union. You may
have come together like two streams,
flowing naturally toward one point and
then mipgling their waters with scarcely
n RIPPLE to pass on together to the great
ocean. You may have como together
under the wild press of passion, or the
feeble attractions of fancy, or the sordid
compulsions of interest or by force of Il
love SO pure that an angel would think
himself in heaven while in its presence.
But the time for considering the mo-
tives which have united you is past
You are married for better or worse
The word is spoken. The bond is seal
ed; and the only question now is-'how
shall this union be made to contribute
the most to your Happiness and your
best Development 1t is to. answer this
question as well as 1 can, that l write
this series of letters.
You have but one life to live, and no
amount of money, or i~nfence or fame,
can pay you for a life of unhappiness.
You cannot afford to be unhappy. You
cannot afford to quarrel with one anoth-
er. You cannot afford. to cherish a sin
gie'thought, to harbor a single desire,
to crafty a single passion, nor indulge
a single selfish feeling that will tend to
make this union anything but a source
of happiness to YOU So it becomes you,
at starting to have Il perfect understand
ing with one another. 1t becomes you
to resolve that you will be happy togeth-
er at any rate; or that, if you suffer, it
shall be from the same cause and in
perfect sympathy. You are not to let
any human being step between you, I'M
der any circumstances. Neither father
nor mother, neither brother nor sister
neither friend nor neighbor, has any
right to interfere with your relations, so
long, at least, as you are agreed. You
twain are to be one hesh-identifcd in
objects, desires, sy~mpathies, fortunes,
positions-cverything. You arc to know
no closer friend. Now 1 care not how
pure and genuine may be tn l~ove-which
has brought you together, il you have
any character at all, you will fnI that
this perfect union cannot be affected
without compromises. Human charac-
ter by a wise provision of Providence,
is infinitely varied, and there are not
two individuals in existence so entirely
alike in their tastes, habits of thought
and natural aptitudes thltthey can keep
step with one another over all the rough
places in the path of life. So there
must be a bending to one another. 1
suppose. the brides are few who have
not wept nee over the hAsty words of
u hus BAND not six months married; and
| suppose there are few husbands who,
in the early part of their married life,
have not felt that perhaps their choice
was not a wise one.
Breaches of harmony willj occur be-
twee imperfect men aud women; but
all bad results may be avoided by a res
o%lution, we'll kept on 10th sides. to ask
the others pardon for every offence
for the hasty word the peevish COM
plant, the unshared pleasure-evcry-
thing that awakens an unpleasant
thought, or wounds u sensibiIity. This
reparation must be made at once; and
if you have u frank and worthy nature,
a quarrel is impossible. My o inion is
that ninety nine n hundreths of the
unhappiness in the connubial relation,
is the. absolute fault, and not primarily,
the misfortune of the parties. You can
be happy together if you will, but the
agreement 10 be happy must be mutual.
The. compromise cannot all be on one
side.
1t is a mulish pride in men, and a.
sensitive will in women, that make the
principal difficulty in,all unhappy cas-
as. L say to. every ma and Woman, if
you have done1anything which has dis
pleased your companion, beg her or his
lardon, whether you were Intentionally
guilty or not. 1t is the cheapest aud
quickest way to settle the business
One confession makes way for another,
and the matter is ciosed-closcd, most
probably, with the very sweetest kiss Of
the season,
Be frank with one anotlt CT Many
a husband and wife go on FROM year to
year with thoughts in their hearts which
they hesitate to reveal to one another.
IF you have anything in your mind con-
corning your companion, that troubles
you, out with it. Do not brood over it.
Perhaps it can be explained on the spot,
and the matter forever put to rcst.-
Draw your souls closer and closer to-
gether, from year to year. Get all OBJ
~stacles out of the way. just as soon as
arises, attend to it an | and get rid
of it. At last they wi | all dis .ppcar.
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