davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Athens post. [volume] (Athens, Tenn.) 1848-1917, 1858-05-21
FORENSIC ELOQUENCE.

Gentlemen of the Jury, the Scripture saith
-"Thou shalt not kill" Now, if you hang
my client, you transgress the command as
slick as grease, and as plump as goose egg
in loafers face. Gentlemen, do not DENY
the fact of my client having killed mani
No such thing gentlemen. You may bring
the prisoner in "guilty;" the hangman may do
his duty; but will that exonerate you? No
such thing. In that case you will be mur-
derers. Who among You is prepared for
the brand Of Cain to be stamped upon his
brow to-day? Who, freeman? Who in this
land of liberty and light? Gentlemen l will
pledge my word not one of you has bowie
knief. No, gentlemen, your pockets are
odoriferous with the fumes of tobacco You
can smoke the tobacco of reQititude iI the
pipe of peaceful conscience; but hang my
unfortunate client; and the scaly aligators of
remorse will gallop through the internal
principles Of your animal yiscera, until the
spinal vertabre fyour anatomatcal construc.
ton is turned into a railroad for the grim and
CORY gobips of despair. Gentlemen, beware
of committing murdeh Beware, say, of
meddling with the eternal prerogative! Gen.
tlemen | adjure you, by the name of woman,
the main spirit, of the tickling time-piece of
times theoritical transmigration, to do no
murder! I adjure you, by the love you have
for the esculent and continental gusto Of
our native pumpkin, to do no murder! ad-
jure you, by the American eagle, that whip
ped the universal game-cock of creation, and
now is roosting on the magnetic telegraph of
times ilustrous transmigration, to do no
murder! And lastly, ifyou ever expect TO
wear store-made coats; if you expect free
dogs not to bark at you; if you ever expect
to wear boots made of the free hide of the
Rocky Mountain buffalo; and, to sum up all,
if you ever expect to be anything but sneak
ing, low,hung, rascally, braided small ends
of humanity whitfield down into indistincti-
blity, acqut my client and save your coun-
try!
Tho nr;oonar yoa ocnnitfod nf courso
The Athens post. [volume] (Athens, Tenn.) 1848-1917, 1858-05-21

STRANGE ASIMAL.--A correspondent of
the Louisville Democrat, of the 9th ultmo,
gives the following account of n strange ami
nal taken in Trimble county, KY:
1t is described as being about the size of a
common cat, with very short legs, short tail,
and thick, short head, resembling that of a
bull-puppy. Its skin is said to be coated with
the finest fur, of blue color, which they sold
for five dollars. II has been seen by great
many persons, but none can tell what IL is.-
The old one has been seen and chased to her
den. She is about the size of small dog;
her head and tail very much resemble that
animals in length mud shape. A large num-
Der Of sheep bones are said 10 be lying about
her den. also learn that she will jump from
one tree top to another, like n squirrel.
The Athens post. [volume] (Athens, Tenn.) 1848-1917, 1858-05-21

SMALL BoNNETs AND NEuRALGIA.-The new
spring bonnets, says lounger on Broadway.
continue to be worn of the oyster.shell pat
tern, small and rounded at the cheeks. En-
inent men attribute the great increase, among
women, of neuralgia, tic.doloureux, loss Of
sight, and great suffering in the ear, to this
fashion of excessively small bonnets which
dress the neck instead Of the head.-Er.
That's all very we'll. 1t may be the small
bonnets that cause neuralgia among the
women, but what causes it amongst the meni
TAey don't wear small bonnets. We rather
suspect that stove.pipe hats and brandy
sma,hes-especially the latter-are the fruit
full causes Of the disease among the he's.
The Athens post. [volume] (Athens, Tenn.) 1848-1917, 1858-05-21

SOUTHERN PAolrIo RATLRoAD.-The Marshall
Flag, of late date, reports the cars on the
Southern Pacific Railroad to be running reg
ularly, and making two trips day-carry'
ing off quantities of cotton which has been
and is still accumulating along the line. The
agents of the company have succeeded in
making arrangements at Marshall, by which
that incumbranoe is entirely removed Its
financial affairs are now in order. Consider.
able purchases of iron have been made for
the laying down Of the track West of Mar.
shall. and the grading is going on diligently
on the contrats beyond.
The Athens post. [volume] (Athens, Tenn.) 1848-1917, 1858-05-21

PLAIN TALx.-The llowing sensible re-
marks are taken from the Shelbyville Ex-
positor-"We piu not take the responsible
ty to publish any communication sent to us
without the name Of the writer. No man
shall make us responsible for what he writes.
II he is too modest to give us his name, or
IL he cannot confde in us, his request will
not be considered worthy of attention, how
ever mertorious his article may be. If con.
fdence begets confidence, dstrust as surely
bege,s distrust lfa man suspicious us, and
we zee IL, we are not likely to place much
confidence in him. II the name Of CORES.
ponAeut is made public, Il is very apt to be
owing to his own vanity. We will warrant
chat he IL the first TO tell IT,"
The Athens post. [volume] (Athens, Tenn.) 1848-1917, 1858-05-21

CooL CouRAer.-During the visit on Satur.
day afternoon Of the city authorities, the
members of the Scientific and Quarantine
Conventions, including many others, TO Fort
McHenry, several experiments were made by
throwing shells from mortar. After one OF
the shells had been thrown. it fell without
exploding. A rough-looking. daredevil sort
of fellow, seeing the ball descend, and
whilst smoke from the fuse was yet issuing
therefrom, walked deliberately up, and taking
the terrible missile, placed it coolly upon the
top Of his head, and then walked of as
though he had found and secured a fresh
watermelon, not knowing at what moment it
might explode and blow him TO atoms.-Bait
Patriot.
The Athens post. [volume] (Athens, Tenn.) 1848-1917, 1858-05-21

APopuLAR NAME IN DUTcH.-"I wantsch to
schipp in the Lucila," said Dutchman to a
clerk in shipping Office.
"Well," said the clerk, pen in hand, "whats
your name!"
at ish Hans ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. hiuyfeldtmitdeshupvon.
dromp!" said Dutchey, gravely splitting out
his old quid and taking fresh one.
"Heavens!" said the astonished clerk, ~
can't write that. Look-a-here Mister, what is
it in English-do you knowl"
aYah. Ich does. IL is Smidth ~
The Athens post. [volume] (Athens, Tenn.) 1848-1917, 1858-05-21

YouNc MAN, PAY ATTENTION. be a
loafer, don't call yourself loafer, don't keep
loafer's company, don't hang about loafng
places. Better work hard for nothing and
board yourself than sit or stand at corners
with your hands in your pockets. Better for
your own prospects. Bustle about if you
mean to have anything to hustle about for
Many poor physician has obtained real
patient by riding hard to attend on an imag-
mary one. A quire OF blank parer tied up
with red tape carried under lawyers arm
may procure him his first case and make his
fortune. Such is the world-to him that
hath shall be given. Quit droning and CON-
planning, keep busy and mind your chances.
The Athens post. [volume] (Athens, Tenn.) 1848-1917, 1858-05-21

FUNERAL MARCHES TO THE GRAvE.-The
following extraordinary example Of eccen-
trecity is related by a Swedish journal
"Dr. Rhuders, physician, has set to music the
palpitations and irregular beatings Of the
heart of female who is patient in the hos
pitable at Upsal. This disease, written in
musical notes with quavers and semiquavers,
form, says the journal, "a kind Of waltz, and
is one of the greatest curiosties in pathology.
cal anatomy"
The Athens post. [volume] (Athens, Tenn.) 1848-1917, 1858-05-21

New PROCESS OF PULLING TEETH.-The
editor of the Baltimore Patriot has recently
been witnessing the trial of new process
Of extracting teeth, by which it was stated
the operation would cause no pain. The
trial was made at the College of Dental Sur
gerry, at Baltimore, and the operators were
Drs. Harris and Arthur. II is said to have
been the most satisfactory trial of the kind
ever witnessed. A number of teeth were
extracted, and the patients declare they re-
ceived no pain, but experienced numbing
sensation about the tooth. This soothing is
produced by passing current of electricity
through the tooth at the time of extracting.
The patient grasps firmly in his hand one
pole from an electro magnetic machine; the
other pole fiom the machine is attached to
the forceps, and by this means current Of
electricity is passed through the tooth and
produces local an@thesia, and so avoids the
use of chloroform or either. The amount of
current is adjusted so as to suit each patient,
so as not to produce an unpleasant sensation.
The Athens post. [volume] (Athens, Tenn.) 1848-1917, 1858-05-21

JAIL Observation-Disclosures are breaking
jail all over The country. Lately there have
been Jail deliveries in half dozen Western
States. Three prisoners have just escaped
form the Charleston jail OF course the Jail.
or was exonerated. In fact the prisoners
left note, saying it was not his fault they
had escaped. But for this testimonial, it
might have been imagined their board was
not satisfactory.
The Athens post. [volume] (Athens, Tenn.) 1848-1917, 1858-05-21

New ORLEANS, May 1.-The steamer
Tennessee has arrived at this port with dates
from Vera Cruz to the 7th inst. The news
from Mexico indicates speedy downfall of
the Zuloaga Government. Vivanco's forces
had won one of the hardest battles ever
fought in the country. Zuloaga was dis
tressed for money. Juarez had been warmly
welcomed at Vera Cruz.
The Athens post. [volume] (Athens, Tenn.) 1848-1917, 1858-05-21

EPISCOPAL BISHOP OF TExAs-We are
permitted to make the following extract from
letter from Houston, Texas, under date of
April II:
The Episcopa! Diocesan Convention met
here on Thursday, the 18th, and adjourned
today. 1. has been very harmonious nnc
working session. They elected the Rev.
Sullivan II. Weston, native Of South Caro-
lima, and now an assistant minister of Trini-
ty Church, New York, to be the Bishop Of
the Diocese Of Texas II was BY m uuani.
nous vote Of clergy and laity on the first
ballot. There is great rejoicing on all hands
at the result, and no doubt felt about his nc.
ceptaDce,
The Athens post. [volume] (Athens, Tenn.) 1848-1917, 1858-05-21

HYDRoHoBIA.-About six months ago Mr..
David Bruger, 45 years of age, and a citizen
of st. Genevieve, No., was bitten on the
hand by mad dog. He felt no inconve-
nience from the wound till last Saturday
week, when he exhibited symptoms Of by
drophobia. The sight of water would throw
him into commissions, and he finally died on
Monday, in great pain.--Lou. Courier, 7th.
The Athens post. [volume] (Athens, Tenn.) 1848-1917, 1858-05-21

Y- Jefftes, the celebrated British re-
viewer, once remarked that il was his firm
belief that If premium Of thousand dollars
were offered for tho bes. Translation OF u
Greek Bible, it would be taken by Yankee,
who, till the offer was made, had never seen
n word Of Greek in his life--that he would
commence learning tho language, md woul
bear Oft the premium.
The Athens post. [volume] (Athens, Tenn.) 1848-1917, 1858-05-21

ty- The Chinese have proverb; "The
greatest liar Is he who talks most Of himself"
Such men are not only rogues, but fools, for
they are alwaye suspected Of the secret prac-
tico Of vice when they make great public
flourish Of virtue.
The Athens post. [volume] (Athens, Tenn.) 1848-1917, 1858-05-21


DEEDS AND WoRDs.-Nothing has tended
more to food the Southern country with
Northern magazines and periodicals, than the
unlimited advertising and the "clubbing" in.
ducements offered by the county press
Take the following ustaneep1 whish5 we
quote from an Alabama joufnaisr ;ssoi be'
We have received the siSyi jn6su1bss q. the
"Atantic Monthly" which closes The frsk
volume Of the Magazine. The article on
"American Antiquity" is an interesting one,
as are also two or three other articles. 1.-THE
Pure Pearl of Divers Bay," which wethought
was going to be good tale, ended in moon.
shine; some Of the other articles are very dull
and prosy, some are solid-or stupid, and we
don't know which, while Others have no dis
tinguishing points at all. That is about all
we have to say in regard to the present num-
Der, only that the article on "Henry Ward
Beecher," is medley of fattery, froth and
moonshne. We are unable to tell what this
magazine aims at. Itattempts to initiate The
British periodicals, and mistakes heaviness for
depth, and when il undertakes to he witty or
brilliant, 1t fails most completely. However,
if any of our readers wish to read It, they can
get it and the "Mercury" one year, for only
four dollars, cash.
The magazine, according 10 the opinion
expressed above, does not seem to be worthy
of any special or exceptional favor, but yet a
clubbing deduction is made in favor of it.
and so far as we see, in favor of no other
magazine.
The Athens post. [volume] (Athens, Tenn.) 1848-1917, 1858-05-21
tyy- II il said bv some one, that the Gov.

tW- II is said by some one, that the Gov
ernment is great goose, and every one who
can, ought to pick It. This aduge is illus
trated, il is said, by the recent purchase by
the Government Of tract Of land, for war
purposes, at Line Point, opposite the gate Of
San Francisco, for two hundred thousand
dollars. II is said not to be worth more than
fifteen hundred dollars.
The Athens post. [volume] (Athens, Tenn.) 1848-1917, 1858-05-21

W A lady, the other day, asked young
gentleman of our acquaintance: "Sr, is your
wife as pretty as you are!" "No, Miss; but
she has very pretty manners" No further
interrogatories by the lady.
The Athens post. [volume] (Athens, Tenn.) 1848-1917, 1858-05-21
f-Sy- An old Dutcb tavern. .keeper nj the

Ew- An old Dutch tavern.keeper at the
lower end of the borough, had his third
wife, and being asked his views Of matrimo.
ny, replied Well, den, you see, de first time
! marries for love-dat vas goot; den mar
ries for beauty-dat vas goot, too, apout as
goot as de first; but dis time marries for
money-and dis is peter as pothv Old
Cooney took practical view of things.
The Athens post. [volume] (Athens, Tenn.) 1848-1917, 1858-05-21

w- A st. Joseph paper says that Cover
nor Powell aud Major McCulloch, the Utah
peace commissioners, are travelling in great
splendor. They have an escort Of fifteen
men, and eight splendid light carriages, each
drawn by four superior mules. They expect
to travel at the rate Of sixty miles per day.
The Athens post. [volume] (Athens, Tenn.) 1848-1917, 1858-05-21
THE NEW YORK HERALD ON THE
CHARLESTON BANKS.

The New York Herald, in a late article on
the resumption of specie payments by the
Charleston Banks, says:
"The Charleston Mercury, which, as every
body knows, is diseased on the subject of the
dissolution Of the Union and the formation
of Southern confederky, considers that the
revulsion twas another of the agreeable incl
dents of the Union, in which the South was
convulsed by its connection with the North
and, with hard hearted cruelty, goes on to
argue that, however vitally important it may
be for the interests of the North that the
South Carolina banks should resume specie
payments, and whatever embarrassment their
present state of disgrace may cause to the
great mercantile interests of this section, the
bankers of the South should keep ever in
view their private duty; in word, "should
resume when exchange is about to be in IA
yor Of the South" We have no objection TO
say that it is about as sensible suggestion
as we have ever read in the Charleston Mer-
curry. Resuming before the exchanges were
in favor of the Charleston banks, would have
been about as difficult for those promising
institutions as il is for man to ride on horse.
back without horse. We hope, therefore,
that their managers will follow the advice of
their newspaper counsellor, and will not re-
sumo before they can. As to this section of
the country we will bear up against pro-
longaton of the South Carolina bank dis
grace. We are people of great forttude in
this meridian, and we will nerve ourselves to
endure few weeks more agony. Hitherto
our banks have gone on bravely, just as if
there had been no trouble at Charleston; of
course this was sll atfectation, but we will try
to keep up semblance of ease and indiffer-
ence little longer. Don't let the Charleston
bankers worry themselves on our account
We will bear up.
The Athens post. [volume] (Athens, Tenn.) 1848-1917, 1858-05-21

A TALE OF HoRRoRs.-An atroeions crime
has just been perpe.rated in Sziksza, Hunga-
ry. A hawker, who had long been in the
habit of travelling about the country selling
linen. stopped for the night at the house of a
peasant. After taking his supper quietly
with his host, he retired 10 bed. In the
middle of the night che wife awOke her hus-
band, and proposed to him 20 60 and murder
the hawker, in order to get possession Of his
property. The husband positively refused,
on which the woman, calling him coward,
went and plunged large knife into the heart
of the sleeping hawker. The husband then,
by order of his wife, put the body into
sack and threw 1t into the river, while she
set about removing all the marks of blood
In the morning her son, boy of five years
Of age, asked his mother for piece of bread,
when she took the knife to cut him a slice.
Seeing this the child cried out, "Do not cut
il with that knife, for you used 1t to kill the
hawkerl" On this the woman, fearing that
the crime would Do reveated by the child,
seized hold of him and threw him into the
oven. 1t so happened that on the very nigh,
of the murder, the house Of another peasant
had been robbed ofa quantity of meat and
bacon, and the owner had been prowling
about in search of the thief In passing near
the house of his neighbor, he smelt an ex-
traordinary Odor of something burning, and
gave an alarm. When persons were entering
the house to search for the cause of the
smell, the mother had pulled out the half
consumed body of the child from the oven,
and was endeavoring to carry it away in her
apron, but one of the feet was seen protru.
ding and the whole affair was discovered
The peasant and his wife were arrested, and
the woman made full confession of her
guilt.
The Athens post. [volume] (Athens, Tenn.) 1848-1917, 1858-05-21

FB A chap in Buffalo proposes to start
newspaper which shall furnish all the news
"a hours in advance Of its occurrence. Spir-
itual reporters have been engaged, and lines
of spiritual telegraph are being rapidly put
in operation, to aid in carrying out the
scheme.
The Athens post. [volume] (Athens, Tenn.) 1848-1917, 1858-05-21

The GRAssHoPPER PLAGuE.-A letter
from Hawleyville, Iowa, says :-"The grass
hoppers or ocusts have again made their ap-
pearance in our midst in countless millions,
and already commenced destroying our spring
wheat. Fears are entertained that they will
destroy everything in their way this season"
The Athens post. [volume] (Athens, Tenn.) 1848-1917, 1858-05-21

New York, May l2.-Henry Dwight, a
well known banker in Wal-street, is charged
with frauds to the extent of million of dol
lars, connected with the Chicago, Alton and
st. Louis Railroad Company. Others are
implicated.
The Athens post. [volume] (Athens, Tenn.) 1848-1917, 1858-05-21

lF- The receipts at the New Nork Gus
tom House in April were smaller than gen.
orally estimated, and render II ttolerably Ger.
tain that the receipts for the whole year will
not exceed S2s,OO0,OOo, two millions less
than the estimate, and fourteen millions less
than last year, and limiting the total receipts
of the Government to about forty-iivo mil
lions.
The Athens post. [volume] (Athens, Tenn.) 1848-1917, 1858-05-21

PROBABLE DEFICIENCY IN THE HOME De-
PARTMENT.-The number of marriage IL
censces issued by the clerk of the county
court of Rockingham, Va, for the past
month was only II.
The Athens post. [volume] (Athens, Tenn.) 1848-1917, 1858-05-21
WITH A BOTTLE OF CIDER.

Old friend, accept this bottle
Your mouth then open wider
First to imbibe, then to exclaim,
BY GEORGE what glorious ciderl
Perhaps some fair young damsel
Whose looks have ne'er belied her,
viii not object to take swig,
When you are down be--cider.
And il she then INDUCES,
You may then have to guide her;
But she will say it's owning to
The stuff which is in-cider.
The Athens post. [volume] (Athens, Tenn.) 1848-1917, 1858-05-21

sR- After asking your name in the State
of Arkansas, the natives are in the habit Of
saying, in confidential tone: "Well, now,
what wer yer name before yer moved to
these parts!"
The Athens post. [volume] (Athens, Tenn.) 1848-1917, 1858-05-21

az Medical Students Examination
"Do wounds often heal by the first inten-
toni" "NOt when the patient is rich and the
doctor poor" "When does modification en-
suel" "When you pop the question, and are
answered no!"
The Athens post. [volume] (Athens, Tenn.) 1848-1917, 1858-05-21
THE POST.
ATnsNs, FRIDAY, MAY e1, 1858.
NOTES or THE BANKS OF TENNESSEE,

NOTES or THE BANKS OF TENNESSEE,
Received by the State Union and Planters Banks o.
Tennessee, at Nashville.
ByMe Planters Bank.
MANY NJ Tennessee, Bank Of Memphis,
yTyn;on Rank, Northern Bank OF Tenn.
PI,nters' Bank, Bank Of America,
Merchants Bank, Citizens Bank,
Farmers Bank, Bank OF Chattanooga,
Bank of Paris, Bank OF Middle Tenn
Rank OF Commerce, Commercial Bank,
Bank OF the Union, Southern Bank.
BY the Bank Of Tennessee and the Union Bdne.
Rank Of Tennessee, Bank OF Middle Tenn.
Planters Bank, Citizens Bank,
Union Rank, Oity Bank,
Bank Of America, Farmers Bank,
Bank OF Chattanooga, Merchants Bank,
Bank OF Memphis, Northern Bank,
Bank of Paris, Southern Bank,
Bank Of the Union, Traders Bank,
Bucks Bank, Kentucky banks,
Exchange Bank. New Orleans Banks.
The Athens post. [volume] (Athens, Tenn.) 1848-1917, 1858-05-21

CHARLESTON, May l2.-Tho Governor Of
South Carolina has appointed Colonel A.
Hayne, as United States Senator, to supply
the vacancy created by the death Of the Hon.
Josiah Evans.
The Athens post. [volume] (Athens, Tenn.) 1848-1917, 1858-05-21

tW- well, Anna, how did you get along
with that stupid fool ofa lover of yoursl
Did you succeed in getting rid Of him.
oh, yes! l got rid Of him easily. married
him, and have no lover now
The Athens post. [volume] (Athens, Tenn.) 1848-1917, 1858-05-21

A BOLD BIsHoP.--During discussion in
the General Conference of the Methodist
Episcopal Church, South, growing out of the
following resolution, presented by the Rev.
r. 7. Hehin:
Resolved, That the Special Committee on
Class-meetings be requested to report on the
expediency of restoring classes to their origi-
nal size of "about twelve persons, according
to their respective places of abode"
After several difficulties had been mention
ed, Bishop Andrew suggested that there was
another difficulty. Let the preachers get
converted, said he. Let them attend the
classes. Let their wives attend. Let our
great men attend. Their influence would re.
store the institution.
The Athens post. [volume] (Athens, Tenn.) 1848-1917, 1858-05-21

AUGUSTA, May l2.-Adam's Express Com.
pany offer reward of $2,5OO for information
leading to the recovery of package of $l0,-
900 in bills on the Planters and Mechanics
Bank OF Charleston, s. c., stolen on the 26th
of April, between Atlanta and Montgomery.
The Athens post. [volume] (Athens, Tenn.) 1848-1917, 1858-05-21

New York, May l2.-The Methodist Epis-
copal Conference have resolved that slavery
is sin, for the extirpation of which all wise
measures ought to be taken.
The Athens post. [volume] (Athens, Tenn.) 1848-1917, 1858-05-21

TnE LAST or THE VINO PARTy.-A firm in
Chicago shipped last week direct TO London
eighteen thousand coon n'skins.-Erchdnge.
The LAST OF THE DEaooRATIc PArnY.-A par.
ty Of enraged women in town out West,
entered a GROCERY few weeks ago and dc.
molished some forty odd barrels Of rtiskey,
which the proprietor had been using to do
bauch their husbands. .--Sheibyuiile Exposition.
The Athens post. [volume] (Athens, Tenn.) 1848-1917, 1858-05-21

sY A Yankee recently married n wife,
ate five pumpkin pies, licked negro, told a
lie, went to church, tore his trowsers-all
in one day!
The Athens post. [volume] (Athens, Tenn.) 1848-1917, 1858-05-21

WASHINGTON, May l2.-The bill for the
admission of Minnesota, as State, received
the signature of the President to day, and
Messrs. Rice and Shields we're sworn in as
Sonafnra