Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1858-05-22
Matrimonial Bliss.

~ "''SN' 49,
made for a mother, consequently, children
are as necessary 10 their peace Of mind as
health is. Ii you wish 10 behold melan-
choly and Indigestion, look at an old maid
/ if you would take peep al Sunshine look
! in the face Of young mother.
Now, | won't stand that" replied my
aunt, Pm an old maid myself, aud I'm
neither meIanchOlly nor indiges,ible. My
pece of mind I'm going TO give you in
miuute. | would never touch baby du-
ring my existence. exeeP, with pair OF
tongs. Youmg mothers and sunshine
indeed! Why, they are worn 10 fiddle
strings before they are five and twenty.
When an old lover steps in, he sees his
grandmother instead fihe little Mary who
used TO make him feel as if he should
crawl out of the toes Of his boots. Yes,
my mind is quite made up about matrlmo-
ny. But as TO babies sometimes think
and then again | don't know)-on the
whole, consider 'em decided humbug.
lis one sided partnership, this mar
rage (; the wJe casts up all the accounts.
The husband gets up and pays his de-
voirs TO The looking glass, curls his fine
head Of hair, puts on an immaculate shirt
bosom, Ties an excrucialing crsvat, sprln-
| kles his handkerchief with cologne, slows
away French roll, an egg and cup OF
coffee, gets in an omnibus, looks slantn-
dicular at the pretty girls, and makes love
between the pauses OF business in the al
ternoon. The wife must hermeically
seal The windows and shut out the fresh
air, and sits down, gssping, at The table,
more dead than alive, to finish her break
fast. Tommy spills cup of hot coffee
down his bosom Juliana has torn of the
strings OF her school bonnet, James wants
his geography covered Eliza can't find
her satchel the butcher wants TO know
if she'd ike joint of mutton the milk
man wants his money the iceman wants
TO speak 10 Ler just minute The baby
swallows a bean the husband sends boy
from the sore-his partners will dine with
item the cook leaves all 1ying 10 go to
her sisters dead baby's wake and the
| husbands thin coat must be lroned before
noon. Sunshine and young mothers
Where's my smelling bottle = Don't
talk TO me Of the delights Of married life
The PLANS OF THE MoRMoNs. The
City 10 be DeStroyed.-A Mormon priest,
high in authority, has written a letter pub
Iished in lie California papers, in which
II is said:
"Our plans are all mstured and laid.
If they (that is the troops,) enter these
valleys. which will be most difficult. We
purpose cacheing, j. e., bur, ing our grain.
Tor we will have abundance Of il, and then
well make Moscow of everything ihss
will burn. Burn up Tie grass. and every
mortal Thing that will burn, and leave be-
hind US nothing but desolslion, upon
which il will be impossible for our ene-
mics 10 subsisi. We shall retreat 10 tho
dense canons and places in the mountains,
surrounded by natural barriers which fen"
der the interior impervous to all egress,
and which are alone accessible through
narrow, and almost inrassable de6les.
that can be successfully guarded by few.
10 the exclusion OF thousands. Ii is i'm
possible 10 introduce large army into
lhIs Territory. They cannot bring suf-
ficient food To last them more than one
year, and il The grass is destroyed how
will their cattle subsisl! We will also
destroy all The timber, and everything
suitable for fuel, and when they come 10
the mountains and canons for something
10 cook their scaniy meals with, they will
find Mormon mOunlaineers there, and per.
haps thousand and one red men to pick
them off on the righ, hand and on the left.
Enough on this subject"
BEWARE OF SMALL CHANGE Yes
young men and maldens, married folks
and single, old people and juveniles, all.
beware Of small change. A Eve dollar
bill will keep much longer in The pocket
than one dollar peice and one dollar
peice much longer than bali, quarter,
or dime. One is not half go apt 10
spend his money when walking Ibe sireeis.,
among all the tempting wares, mercban-,
die, fruits, GIN cracks. and so on, that
meet him al every turn, If j: consist in
large bills, which IL would be such pity
TO break. Yes, beware of small changes,
Keep your money in five. ten, twenty, ff-
Iy, hundred dollar bills-lhe bigger the
better, and the mere Of them the menier.
Then when you bug, buy something that
will keep. something that will show for
Ihe money you have parted with. Our
advice on this sub, CT, however, would
not be complete, If we did not also say
never lei your aniipsihy 20 small change
prevent yoJ from paying the cash for your
little purchases. and Is Sor the matter Of
that, your BIO purchases too. SHIN small
rl.n..no h..i utiu ...1..o II LIZ !.