Nebraska advertiser., 1858-11-11
Our. Chip Basket.

] ON N"0 HSN@ eP1 ASAPS ~ esfP
Much of the worlds progress is in.
wrong direction. 81 -
A bleeding finger is more noticed than
a bleeding heart. os - % "a
Men do less than they ought, unless
they do all they can. liE iasaits'
He who has outlived his friends, feels
that his home is beyond the grave.
Manners and customs are Oflen~oem.
promise between wisdom and folly.
Why should B come before CT Be-
cause any one must be before he can see.
A wag states that he always looks
under the marriage head for news Of tie
Ceak. e
The horses coat is a gift of Nature.
but a tailor very often makes 3 coat for
an ass.
Resignation to evils that can be cured,
does not stand high among the Christian
graces, t
Why should a sailor always know what
O'Clock il is! Because be IS always go7
ing to sea.
She that marries man because he is
good match" must not be surprisedif if
he turns out "a lucifer." e.-.s .
|
The following question is now before
the Tillietudlum Debating Society-"Isi II
wrong to cheat a lawyer9'' .s8
The Illinois Journal asks IF we can.
throw any light on kissing. We don't
care to. The thing is just as well in the
dark.
"Pray doctor, had your mother a sonl''
"Let me see she had two daughters,
but whether she had son, III really
can't reCollect."
An eminent painter was asked what he .
mixed his colors with to produce so extra
ordinary an effect?
81 mix them with brains, Sir" was the
reply. .s.f,-aT
An eloquent writer, in his letters to
young men, exhorts them to wrap them
selves in their virtues" but we know there
are many in these parts who, if they had
no more covering, would freeze 70 death.
A western poet gets Off the following
explosion: The engine groaped, the
wheels did creak, the steam did whistle,
and the boiler did leak. The boiler was
examined-they found it was rusted--
when all on sudden the old thing bust
ed,
A green 'un who had never been ona
steamboat before, fell into the hatchwaY
of one down into the hole. e.....
Being hurt he jumped up and exclaim-
ed in surprise: a'f'
"Well, if the darned thing amt hOl.
Ter! 30 za q
"You have a right to challenge any Of
of the jury you please" said the counsel,
TO testy client, who was under indict,
ment. 55
"And so ! will" he replied; elf they
don't briLg me off handsomely, I'll chai-
lenge every one of them!"
Little Sis.-Oh, Bobby, I'm going 70
have a hooped dress, an oyster she'll bon
net, a pair of ear-drops and babyl
Little Bob.-The thunder you viii -
Well, I'm going TO have pair of tight
pants, shanghai coat, q crooked cane
and pistol
"No one would take you for what You
are" said an old fashioned gentleman to
young dandy, who had more hair than
brains.
"Why?'' sai la A
because they can't see your ears7'a
With flushed phiz, dandy bolted.
wherever 1 go" said a gentlemaa,
remarkable for his state pride, "I am
sure to find sensible men from my own
State" t-r
mo wonder" said the person he waa
addressing, ''for every man Of that State,
who has any sense, leaves il as soon as
he can" ~
Conclusion Of six days sulk.-(Scepes
Outside of the house cat is heard 70
new.
Husband 10 the dear one Of his bosom
Ibid YoH speak, deaT7'' 81 -
Tea-table suddenly overturned, and
broomsticks become preyaieni in the Do
mestic atmosphere. - -. -
'Please your lordship's honor and glo-
} ry," replied Tom, II shot The hare byae-
. cident." NJ
"By accident! !' remarked Captain o..
Hallaron. -
Il was firing at bush, and the beast
ran across my aim, al Of his own acS
cord" -4s1-l n
"The game-keeper tells a different
story" said his lordship.
.o"0ch don't put faith in What the man
saws. said Tom. "when he never cspsf
j. about speaking the truth any how. 1.s
tould mest'oEher dayyer lOrdship was nef
so fit to fill the chair Of Justice As jack
|, ass"
GAY, ayr exclaimed the Viscount XII
skiddery, ''indeed, and what did YOU say q
. s.Plaise YOUR lordship, / said Vour lord.