The independent press. (Abbeville C.H., S.C.) 1853-1860, 1858-07-09

Aho NatioNaI idSSLiHc pu1iisucS HutIl- |
Der of witticisms attributed to the late Dou-
glas Jerrold, and which have been collected
and arranged for that periodical by his son,
MIR. Blanchard Jcrrold. The following are
among the best specimens Of tho great sati-
rist's wit thus collected by his SON:
TIE ANGLO .FnENon 'ALl1AxcE.--Jcr-
rold was i'll France, and with Frenchman
who was enthusiastic on the subject of the |
Anglo French alliance. He said that he |
was proud to see the English and French
such good friends at last. Jerrold-"Tut!
the best thing know between France and
England is-the sea-"
UNREMrrrINo KINDNEss.-'Call that a 1
kind man. said an actor, speaking OF an ab-
sent acquaintance "a man who is away
from his family and never sends them a
tarthing Call that kindncssr 'Ycs, unrc
mittlng kndncs,' Jerrold replied.
DAMrED ARDoR.-Jerrold and Laman
Blanchard were strolliug together about
London, discussing passionatey plan for
joining Byron in Greece. JerroId, telling
he story many years after, said, But
shower OF rain came on, and washed all the
Greece out Of US
A DocroR's LlvERY.-A very popular
medical gentleman called on Jcrroli one
day. When the visitor was about to leave,
Jerrold, looking from his library window,
cspicd his friends carriage, attended bv SER
! wants in flaming liverics. JerrolI-'What,
| doctor, see your livery is measles turned
up with scarlet tcvcr2'
A FAvonITE AlR.-Ata social club to
which Jerrold belonged, the subject turned
one evening upon music. The discussion
was animated, and n certain song was cited
as an exquisite composition. That song
exclaimed all enthusiastic member, ALWAYS
carries me away when hear it." JerroId
Cooking eagerly round the table) Can
anybody whistle it?'
MANS ACCOUNT WITH WoMAN.-Look
here; you must allow that woman ought,
as much as in her lies, to make this world
quite paradise, seeing that she lost US the
original garden. We talk as philosophers;
and when all is said and done about what
we owe TO woman, you must allow that we
have swinging balance against her. There's
that little matter Of the apple still 10 be set
tied for.
AN ATTORNEYS LAST HorE.-A certain
sharp attorney was said to be in bad cir
cumstanccs. A friend Of the unfortunate
lawyer met Jerrold, and said, Have you
heard about poor r.? Ills business
is going to tho DEVIL Jerrold-'That's all
right; then he is sure to get it back again.
A NAME IN THE SAND.-A few DAYS
since, we stood with friend on the sea
shore. The tide which had receded, left
the sand perfectly smooth. Our friend with
the end OF his cane. wrote his name in full
on the sand, and we passed on. But the
first flow OF the tide of course entirely effa-
ced that name, aud left the sand as if nothing
had been written on it. This led, us men,
tally to inquire how many Of the busy sons
ofearth, labor hard and toll long to write
their names-in the sand, only to be washed
away by the fast flowing waters of oblivion.
Thousands have. faced the cannon's mouth
and forced their way through ranks of brist-
ling steel, to gain name. But where now
Is the name thus written in blood? Entire
ly forgotten, with very few exceptions.
Scholars too have wasted their energies
over the midnight lamp, and found and ear
ly grave in search of name. That name
was gained; but it was only written in the
sand.
How much we all, in our various pursuits,
are struggling for name; but we arc
merely walking by the sea-shore, and if our
names are written to our satisfaction, they
will not be found after the next tide. Who
knows the names Of the many millions who
have peopled our earth Each thought as
much Of his name while living, as we do Of
ours. But the very dust under our feet
contains their own animated dust, and yet
their very names were long since forgot,
ten.
~ Let us then, strive for something better
than an earthly name written in the NOV.
ing sand. A name that can never perish
written in "the Lambs Book of life,' should
be the high point of our aspirations. That
is attainable, and yet how few are striving
to have them there recorded. The present
is regarded rather than the future by short.
sighted mortals-Olipe Branch.
The PEoPLEs DAY.-Continuou Sab.
bath labor does not answer even CONNER.
cially--it' does not increase the aggregate
amount Of work performed. WilGerforcc
testifes: During the war it was proposcd
to work all Sunday, in one of the royal
manufactures, for continuous, not for occa.
sional service and it was found that the
! Worknen who obtained Govarn,nant,o oorn