Burlington free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1827-1865, 1858-11-05

(Which was, indeed, at least eighteenpenc
lower than the trade prce,) but they wer
not cheap at any price (as tried to explai
to Mrs. P.) to bury IN the back garden
which had to be done ut once. had no
where else to put them, and therefore in
TERED them in that spot by help of the dus
shovel, trusting to never see them more
Alas as in the case of Mr.. Eugine Aram
my secret was one that earth refused to keep
refine body-snatchers disntcrred those fou
corpses during the night and 10 in the morn
ing the CHASTITY fragments of bone, and feath
cr, and skin, and sinew, were scattered owe
the whole OF our back garden Nothing car
be likened unto it, except the ravage which
the yultures make in the desert upon tn,
victims of thatwind which never blows any
body good the smoom.
Notwithstanding the utter failure of oui
cheap chickens, discovered one Saturday
from some snatches of conversation between
my vile and the cook, as well as from a GER
tam AIR OF oppressive secrecy pervading the
household, such as is apt to precede great
events, that some culinary change was in
contemplation.
" My dear, observed | at once, with un-
wonted tirmness, 81 do trust there is nothing
more coming by that carrier
Nothing" she replied, with an air of
triumph "nothing that is of the nature
which you imagine. Nothing that will spoil
my love but something that will be, on the
contrary. Il delightful treat"
at is not a fatted calf?" | inquired,
satlrically ''nor, still more, calf, alive and
kicking, which | am expected to fatten, is
it ?"
NO. she said, changing color a little,
ut is not that 1t is only a beautiful Mi
chaelmas goose, fourteen pence cheaper than
we can get it i'll the market. and an enor-
nous bargain
at will make the house unbearable, as
the others did | cried, in passion; "we
shall get indicted for nuisance
''lt's "A live goose quoth Mrs F., severe
ly, "and just ready for killing
"And whore inquired |. 'in the name
OF common sense, are we to keep a live
goose?"
."Why, of course, my dear" replied she,
''it must be kept in the back garden
This anlnal-this beast with bill-in
due course arrived; was uncarted in the pass
age, which is otherwise denominated the
front hall and, at once disengaging itself
from the terrified domestic, took its way
with the most awful anserne imprccations,
upstairs into the drawing room Never
shall ! forget the scene which ensued for the
next ten minutes That royal game OF goose
played out between us four and that dread
ful bird its malicious misses the long. shrill
gurglc in its throat, half gobble and half
quack, SO convincing of its relationship to
duck and turkey the agonised Tapping Of
Its short, ungainly wings; even the thud of
Its naked webbed feet, as they ran over the
keys OF the piano, eytorting undrcamt of
harmonies-will never be erased from my
mind.
The carrier, melted by the reward Of six
pence set upon the head Of the fugitive, at
last secured it, but not before it had done
considerable damage, and bore it under his
arm, playing upon 1t as if it were an unsound
bagpipc, into the place which had been as
signed for its reception.
watched it that night for hours, roaming
up and down the walled back garden, and
complaining to the stars = gazing up INTO
the elder bush with an eye to its practicable
ity as a means of egress, and shaking its
os~s",s ,,ooa WIN inc melancholy of blank
despair. When | saw it lie down to sleep
under that tree, also retired to my couch
with a contented mind; for knew well the
cats would come at their accustomed hour
They did come. Never shall | lose the re-
collection of that shrek which rung out on
the startled ear of ght about one o'clock
and wakened every sleeper in the terr c.
Our goose had been dreaming, probably of
home, and peace, and barley meal, when she
was reused to the awful sense Of her real po-
sition four-and-twenty cats at the very
least, Toms and Thomasinas, tabbies and
tortoise shells, We're standing around her in
solemn conclave, doubtful whether she was
alive or not, but certain that she was excel
lent patnp anprbar tbnU
up the elder bush and scattered over all the
back gardens under the sky. The outcry
which the geese made who saved the Capitol
was nothing to the outcry which our goose
made to save herself. The memory Of it abode
with her enemies long after her spirit had
fled; for the cats did not return to their usual
rendezvous for nearlya week.
The next day being Sunday, the captive
Wa spared from destruction, and well fed
with her favorite food at the cost Of sixpence;
twopence, therefore setting aside the damage
in the drawing room, was, upon Monday
morning, our total pecuniary saving by hav-
ing purchased her alive.
Cook" said |, authoritively. ''you must
kill that bird at once, or it will be positive
loss to us.
"La, sir, me kill it," answered she Il
should be terrified out ofmy life
"Who is to kill it, then ~ inquired, in
unfeigned astonishment.
"Well, sir, missus thought you see the
poulterer charges eightpence for coming in
and doing ON it) as how you might be kind
enough to kill it yourself
The poulterer came and performed h;s
savage office. The cook took half the day to
pluck the corpse, and even then left so many
feathers upon it that the dish looked more
like singed sleeps head than roast goose
The tenant Of our back garden cost us exact.
ly sixpence more than if we had purchased il
at the poulterer's in the first instance, anC
finally turned out to be as tough as a goos'
could be.
Since the dccease of this leathery bird, oul
back garden has been left to its grass, it
dandelons, its elder bush, and its cats.