Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1858-07-17
MIR. BLIFKINS'S BABY.

That first baby was great institution. As
soon as he came into this breathing world /"
as the late w. Shakespeare has it, he took
command in our house. Everything was sub
seryient to him. The baby was the balance
wheel that regulated everything. He regulated
the temperature, he regulated the food he reg
ulated the servants, he regulated me- For the
first six months Of that precious existence. he
had me up on an average six times a night.
" Mr.. Blifkins," says my wife, bring that light
here, doi the baby looks strangely I'm so
afraid it will have a fit :" OF course the lamp
was brought, and Of course the baby Law suck
ing his fist like little white bear, as he was.
" MIR. Bliikins." says my wife, " ! think feel
draught of air. wish you would get up and
see if the window is not open little, because
baby might get sick" Nothing was the matter
with the window, as knew very well. "NIr
Bifkins, says my wife, just as | was going to
sleep again. " that lamp, as you have placed it,
shines directly in the baby's eyes-strange that
You have no more consideration" l arranged
the light, and went to bed again. Just as
was dropping to sleep again, Mr.. Blfkins,"
said my wife, g did you think to buy that bro
ma to-day for the baby?" MY dear" said l.
will you do me the injustice tobelieve that
could overlook matter essential to the
comfort of that nestimable child ?" She apol
ogized very handsomely, but she made her anx-
iety the scape goat. forgave her, and, with
sIi ssf saS,Gs tG e? y5aM NJ uRE4 uRb b ssa my vs,
wake the baby" "Jest so--iest so,' said |,
half asleep, thinking l was Solon Shingle
" Mr. Bfkins," said my wife, "will YOU get up
and hand me the warm Cruel from the nurse
lamp for baby yp"-the dear child if it warn't
for his mother, don't know what he would do
How can you sleep so, Mr.. Bliflins ?" 81 sus-
pect, my dear" said |, that il is because am
tired" "Oh. it's very well for men to talk
about being tired" said my wife; Z" don't
know what you would say if you had to toll and
drudge like poor woman with baby"
tried to soothe her by telling her she had no
patience at all, and got up for the posset.
Having aided in answering the baby's require
ments, | stepped into bed again, with the hope
of sleeping "NIr. Blfkins," said she, in a
louder key. | said nothing "Oh dear :" said
that estimable woman, in great apparent an
guish, " how can man. who has arrived at the
honor of a live baby of his own, sleep, when he
don't know that the dear creature will live till
morning?" | remained silent, and, after a
while, deeming that Mrs. Bliikins had gone to
sleep, | stretched my limbs for repose. How
long slept don't know, but was awakened
by furious jab in the forehead by some sharp
instrument. l started up, and Mrs. Blfkins
was sitting up in the bed, adjusting some por-
ton of the baby's dress. She had, in state
of semisomnolence, mistaken my head for the
pillow, which she customarily used for noe
turnal pin-cushion. protested against such
treatment in somewhat round terms, pointing
to several perforations in my forehead. She
told me should willingly bear such trihing
things Tor the sake of the baby. insisted up
on it that | didn't think my duty as parent to
that young immortal required the surrender of
my forehead for pin-cushion. This was one
of many nights passed in this way. The truth
was that baby was what every other mans first
Such was the story of Bifkins, as he related it
to us the other day 1t is little exaggerated
picture of almost every mans experience
Saturday Erenig Gazette.