Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1858-09-10

his father, to chill me with bis cool.blooded
hantsnr, to smile delight at his release from
me. felt be knew loved him, and the hum
bling thought rendered the desire to hate him
doabiy strong But the victory over my own
heart was not yet complete.
Soon after my marriage, accompanied nv
husband and Alphonsine to Paris. Fabien was
in England, and for period at least was free
But In VAIN did plunge into q vortex of gaiety,
IN vain did associate with the frivolous and
the light hearted. L was pursued by the heavy
hand of despair. Those who saw me smiling
IN the brilliant throngs of fashion, deemed not
OF the agony that was corroding my heart
strings, and which would one day hurl me into
IN abyss Of crime.
Months were rolling fast into years, and still
whenever Fabien met me he treated me with
rude contempt. But he was no longer loved ::
another was the object Of all the affection re-
naming in CALLED and broken heart; the
other was my own young son. The man once
had idolized was now most deeply hated. The
cry for vengeance on the destroyer of my hearts
peace was growing hourly louder. And as the
world-trumpet proclaimed daily fresh laurels
won by Fabien's talents, hate, that canker:
worm, gnawed deeper and yet deeper into my
soul. Renown was the darling mistress for
which be had abandoned me, and that mistress
In my passion resolve should die. How"
was the question asked myself Fabien was
just and upright in all his dealings; how could
MS reputation be poisoned! The voice Of scan
die was too petty and too vain a weapon
In one frantic hour, when all my energies
were centered in the wish to overthrow his
earthly celebrity, fxed upon a means-his
Intellect must DO crushed. That mighty soul
that all 30 lauded must be robbed of reason 1t
must have been diabolicsl glimmering that
lighted up for me so horrible an idea There is
no fend in hell 80 vile, but he must pity one 90
totally the play thing of an evil passion as was
In that hour, when / heaped Goals of Ere upon
yown head, and fell victim to my own crime
In remote street Of Paris there lived an
aged man, skilled in the use of poison; by a
large bribe bought him over to my villany
His soul had long been sold to perdtion; gold
was his only god. BE gave me decoction,
known to himself alone, for destroying in few
hours the finest intellect the Creator ever
formed. How fervently do now pray that the
dark and murderous receipt may be buried in
the grave of him who discovered it, and that no
other SHINING wretch in future years may be
doomed to drink the cup of bitter sorrow an
evil geDics held out to me. / returned home,
glorying in my purchase, revelling in delight
at the thought that that small vial contained
my full metre Of vengeance. Fabien was ex-
pected at his father house on the morrow; then
for the last time should see him scofing; cold
the imbecile, the idiot, would be mine to
mock.
But the morrow was to dawn for me upon a
different scene. The mothers heart would
wiring with anguish. Another cup than that
OF vengeance would be bursting 10 rend the
air, and that fear must suppress into inward,
soul-devouripg grief. As 1 drew the curtain
of my infants bed, and advanced to caress my
noble boy, the warm life blood flowing through
my veins seemed turned to ice. He, the sole
pride Of young and lonely mothers heart,
that best beloved one was an idiot. Yes, my
boy an idiot, and by his mothers hand. Ere
be slept he was feyerish and restless, and in
stead Of the mixture he usually had, Fate had
destined / should commit infanticde, upon the
mind of my only son, and give to him the po-
tion prepared for his hated father.
As beheld my Eustace's vacant smile, the
sorrow Of remorse pierced into my aching
breast. My thirst for love or vengeance was
allayed. Fabien might expend his Talents as he
passed; had no care to live but to tend my
helpless boy, with solicitude to watch over his
smallest wants, and with his aflliction ever be-
fore my eyes, while the iron hand of conscience
smote my heart, to drag out a life of penapce
OFT L shed those bitter tears which the criminal
has left, and which sprang from the inmost re-
ceases of a SHINING mothers soul.
From that hour Fabien too was changed, the
spirit that bad grappled with him so long was
broken. Now that lay humbled to the du st
he pitied me. Generous feelings were latent in
his heart. At the zenith of pride he would
have sought to crush me; but was oppressed,
and he upheld me. He saw sorrow for the
boys affection was weighing me down, but he
knew not the mothers crime.
Hate vanished at the touch Of pity, and once
again my heart throbbed for its first and only
master. Ny husband died. L was alone with
the helpless victim of my crime, raising his
lustreless eyes to me, as though to upbraid me
for my deed. FabieA was now rs assiduous
aad kind, as he was once cold and naughty; he
sought to cheer my solitude, and to please the
mothers heart by noticing her idiot son.
1t came at last, that once so wished for day,
that hour, that girlish love had yearned and
prayed for. He, the idOlized Fabien of nv
youth, now told me that he loved me. His old
mistress was discarded, the ephemera of ambi-
tion had passed away; love triumphed at last
But too late" was my hearts response. The
pale features Of him whose life had made
burden to him rose before my eyes. The
ferceness Of my love was extinct. An internal
mOnitOry voice seemed to whisper, &" Eustace
that which thou hast rendered helpless, must
hencefOrth be thy only care" L refused to
accept the love that would have bought with
my hearts blood. The still, small voice of
conscience, for the first time, told me l had
done Alright.
He left me to participate in brighter, may
be happier scenes, and ere long he had a fair
young bride. L was forgotten-doomed to
anguish, gazing on crime, passion for him had
caused me to commit.
The young frame 1 watched grew gradually
weaker. 1t was narrowing to my remorse-
struck feelings to see that L only to the last
was known, only TO the last was loved. My
Eustace sank slowly into an immortal sleep,
his early, budding life, brought to a premature
end by his mothers guilt.
Thou, into whose hands in future years
this record of sin may come, learn by the his
tory OF my fall, to set up no earth gods for thy
self, and by struggling to obtain mastery over
thine own heart avoid the depths of crime into
which 1 have sank. Worn out by remorse, my
life is speedily drawing to a close Dare /
hope that for wretch like me there is heaven
OF love! Will the promise Of forgiveness to the
penitent sinner extend itself even unto me?
PRINCE ALBERr.-The only incident which
occurred during my stay in the quite little city