The North-Carolinian. [volume] (Fayetteville [N.C.]) 1839-1861, 1858-09-04
NORH CAROLINIAN,
FA YTTEVILLE, N. c..

FAY|l''||!I'

ago in The &guerreotype," a periodical of |
short-lived existence, conducted by the Rev.
DIR. EreemanzRho died some time since Bish
op of Arkaasae AND Texas
~ we kee ao whom or to what, to give
credit for the fotiowrs hit, we would certainly
do it. ltNemes to without any intimation /
OF its orIganAhd we give it place as ludicrously
characteristlG 1t purports to be IAN account |
of Ethan Spires First and Last Visit to Port
land"
"Portland istLe all-fredest place ever seed
l was down ft@fesin 33. to see q little shout
my going to1ie legislature, and such time
as had yonstgver heer'd tell on. Did ever
tell You abo4 fhe ice cream scrape had?"
We as.ixsfs a1the aegatiye. and he re-
ssansd -. been a2ssn s, shsne 1.s 2 ,,ss s;g
three dayS pokiT in every hole, an thot ia
seed everything thar was to be seen. But one
day towads sun do xn 1 was goin by shop in
Middle street that looked wonderfully slick
there was all manner of candy an pepperments
and what nots at the windows. An then there
wer signs with gold letters them, hanging
| round the door, tellin how they sold Soda, Mead
and Ice Cream thar. l says to myself, have
heern great deal about ice cream, aud now it
l don't see what theys made of. So puts my
hands in M, pockets al walks in kinder care
! less, and says to chap standin behind the
counter
"Do you keep any ice creams here?"
"Yes, SIR" says he, chow much will you
have!"
l considered mint, says Ia pint, Sir"
The young fellers face sweed out, and he liked
to have laughed right ont, but arter u while he
asked
did you say pint, sr?"
''Sartin,'' says /, ''but p'raps you don't re-
TAIL l don't mind taking quart"
| Wal, don't you think the fellow snorted right
out. Tell yer what, it made me feel sort a
pisun gave him look made him look so
her in about mint; when l clinched my
fist and looked so at him here Mr. Spike ia
vored US with most diabollcal expression,) he
handed me pint of the stuff rs perite as could
be. Wall, l tasted mouthful Oft, an found
it cool as the north side Of Bethel hill in Jan
nary. I'd half mind to spit it out, but jest
then seed the confectioner chap GRIMM be
hud the door, which riz my spunk. Gall
smash it ALL thinks !, IN not let that white
livered monkey think PM afeard-I'Il eat the
plaguey stuff if it freezes my innards tell
3 yer what, I'd rather skinned bear whipp'd
e a wild cat bat l went it. 1 eat the whole ii
about mint
"Wall in about a quarter of hour bega,
] to feel kinder grpy here" continued Etha'
pointing to the lower parts OF lis stomach, 'a'
: kept feeling better fast, till at last
: seemed as tGfsus. I'd rot a steam inwen saw
: shingles in l sot down cheer, an
+ bent my self up like nut-cracke-, thinkin T.
1t grin and bear it; but 1 couldn't set still
Is twisted and sairmed about like angle worn
e on a hook, till at last as the chap gin me tn
- cream who had been lookin on sniggerin say
to me.
re- Mister SAYS he what ails yer?'
'Als mev says |, that stuff of your
is freezin up my dayIights,' says l.
= You eat too much,' says he.
Il tell you l didn't, screamed l; L kno
'f- whats enough and whats too much, witho,
oa " asking you, aud if you don't leave of sncker
We FIJI spe yer face"
ms He cottoned right down, and said he didn
mean any hurt, and asked me if hadn't bett
take some gin l told him l would. So
took a purity good horn, and left the shop"
'Arter got OUT continued Ethan, i It
better for a minute or 80, but l had'nt gol
-, -. fur afore the gripes took me agin; SO we
W. into another shop and took some more g
cal then / sot aud sot, but didn't feel mite bt
ui ter. l begun to think l was goln to kick t
bucket and then l thought of father al
rst mother and of old Spamker-thats fathers &c
ad- and when thought that should never S
'em agin, | fairly blubbere'l. But then l ha
pened to look up, and see dozen boys grim
and larfn at me, I tell you what it rig l
tv dander-that had got down to mero-rite
agin. | sprung at um like Wild cat, hoile'
= out I'd shake their tarnai glxzards OUT q
the way the little devils scampered was a C,
ton to nobody But after the citement ov
race was over | felt wus agin, and l could
ase help groaun aud screechn as went along.
tity IA last I ,houoht pd 90 to the theat
but afore got there, the grlpes got SO stfo
that had to 60 behind m"etn house Il
lay down and holler. Arter awhile l got
and went into a shop and eat half dollars wo
of billed listers with four picked cowcumbe
and wound up with glass of brandy. The
ling went into the theatre and seed the plays,
ats, / felt SO bad that could not any fun
as on, for T don't think the isters and the C,
lnty wy 1 a ~, aou,, lid dr.
law cuuloeiS uo"e ""y Soo": "e' ", ~
are and stood up, but still it went on, gripe. gr
tate l groaned all the time and once in a white
heir ,roS ohlired to scraa.h tirdar aasv Ey
heir .-, . 80, -La. o.,loa
''turn him out!' once or twice. But at
just as the nigger O:theilo was going to
- the piller on his wife's face to smother
~ there cum sich twing through me, that r
alne ,a,nn ly thought was bustu' up and l yelled
at -"Oh dear! OH seixzore" so loud that the
theatre run again. Such a row you never 81
the nigger dropped the piller, and Deautert
~, my-or what you call her there-his wife,
M, ped off the bed aud run, while everybody in
D theatre was all mp in minuit some lar
some swarm. The npshot of it was the pei
carried me out of the theatre and told mt
make myself scarce
kind {" rs oion 'ee' any oe.'e' "en'
lana to shop close by and called for two gls
,e to of brandy; arter swallerin' 1t, I went hui
,pper the tavern. | sat down by the window
All tried to think felt better, but twas no
ne IN that blasted old engine was still wailerln
oui inside; SO went out aud eat quarters W
''"A OF listers aud piece Of miuce pie. Then l
r. back and told the tavern keeper l felt Ii
f sick, aud thought I'd like some Castor IL