davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Smyrna times., 1858-07-22
From Douglas Jerrold's Wit and Humor

= AoAAA OOuSAoo SSAAOAuo D W III dUu 11UHlOI'
Woman and IVarriors.-With women as with
warriors, there's no robbery-alPs conquest.
TTeaSOn.-Treason is like diamonds there's
nothing TO be made AZ it by the small trader.
TIE SUeeteSt ptAm.-In all the wedding cake
hope is the sweetest of the pums
A broken character.-The character that
needs law 10 mend it is hardly worth the tinkering.
4 land Of pIenty.-Earth is here 60 kind,
that, just tickle her with hoe and she laughs with
harvest.
Second marriag es.-I've heard say wedock's s
like wine-not TO be properly judged of TIL the second
glass.
Damp SheetS.--To think that two or three
yards of damp flax should SO knock DOWN the majesty
Of man!
A Uery rOgue.-IIad be to cut his neighbor's 5
throat, he first sharpen hls knife the chuch marble
JewelS Its my belief that, when woman
was made jewels invented only to make her the
more mischIevous.
Meeting trouble half. f.Way.-Some people are
so fond of luck that they run halfway to meet it.
Mems heartS.-Men's hearts Do what you
will, the things won't break. doubt if even they'll
chip.
A wedding gOwn.-After all, there is some-
gown III the world.
A binding promiSe.-IIe kissed her, and pro-
missed. Such beautiful lips Mans usual fate-he
was lost upon the coral reefs
Description Of a ScOundrel.--" That scoun-
dre sir Why, he id sharpen knife upon his fathers
tombstone to kill his moher!'
CharGcter.-Character's like money: when
you've great deal, you may risk some; for. if you
lose it, folks stli believe you've plenty to spare.
A golden ruIe.--Fix yourself upon the eal-
Thy In word, tak' this for golden lule through life
never, never have friend that's poorer than Yourself
Forced knowIedge.-It's otd how felix's will
force dlsagreeable knowledge upon us-crab-apples,
that we must eat and defy the slomach-ache.
Maids and wiUeS-Women are all alike
When they're maids they're mild as milk; once
make 'cm wives and they lean their backs against
their marriage certificates. and defy you.
WOmen'S lore Of dreSS.-Ask a woman to a
tea party in the Garden of Eden, al he'd be TO
draw up her eI cds and scream, . can't 90 without
a new gown"
Charity.-Charity is such lonely creature,
my blood comes up when a sci of rascals-and
there's pretty knot IN tins town-iryng 10 impose
upon her.
The genius Of money.-If at times it brings
trouble upon men, many too apt in their
OF sincerity 10 declare, ii Aust he allowed that the
trouble II saves Them is 10 the iul great as the per-
pleAIly II mtlIcIs.
IVh0IeSale and retaiL-Wholesale don't mix
with reIals. Raw WOOL doesn't spalk TO halEpenny
bail oi worstod taow in the c,sk looks down upon
SKIES TO the pound, and pig.Iron turns up It's al
lenPenny nails
Truth.-Tve heard people say, truth lives in
wells il 50, I'd advise you 10 take an early dip
the bucket.
The husJandman'S HJe.-What new life of
happiness and hOnor-the ple of the husbandman; a
airs Of heaven
Smyrna times., 1858-07-22
DagsbOro',
BIRTHPLACE OF JOHN NJ. CLAYTON.

NJ
"Amcus," travelling correspondent of the
Reporter, writing from Dagsboro', Sussex CO.,
says:
"Dagsboro' has lost much of its former glory,
though even now, it is not an unimportant place.
| was pleased to learn much of its h story, and
OF those who tfourished in by-gone days, n re-
vlVlng many "reminiscences of the olden time
This is one of the oldest villages in Delaware
1he mrs: thing that attracted my special atten-
ton was the house, owned now by Mr.. John
Smith, the tavern-keoper, in which the disIin-
gulshed and lamented John NJ Clayton was
born, then owned and occupied by Mr. james
Clayton, his father. AS | gazed upon this
somewhat old and humbly constructed, though
YET comfortable dwelling, thoughts came crowd
Ing up Tor utterance, and language failed to ex-
press my respect and veneration for the great
and good, now counted among the dead, but
still living in the hearts of his countrymen.
Il examined minutely the old tannery of Mr.
James Clayton, subsequently, owned by Mr.
William Dunning, bnt now unOccupled and
gone to decay.
81 was told on good authority that MIR. CLAW
ton some Years ago, when passing through this
place, sent for all the old darkies who had work.
ed for his father, and renewing the acquaint-
tance, gave to each a clever SUN of money
Passing on further he met with an old colored
woman whom he had not seen since he was a
boy, and asked Well, aunty, do you know
me!" "No sir, unless you are one of Master
Jlmmy's children, master john" she replied,
with tears in her eyes. Whereupon he told
her to hold her apron, into which he threw sew
eral handsful of silver, and said "God bless
you," and drove on.
FOUNDER OF DAGsBoRo'.-" Dagsboro' takes
its name from General John Dagsworthy, who
was commissioned by Lewis Morris, Adjutunt
General for Hunterdon county in Nova Cpsarea
or New Jersey, in 17l0. Subsequently,, this
same John Dagsworthy removed to Sussex CO.,
and became possessed of large real estate, and
resided within quarter of mile of the viii
lage. We rode up and looked at the remains
of former grandeur, resembling, in its palmiest
days, | suppose, the homes of English gentle
men. II is yet a beautiful spot, ornamculed
with pleasure grounds, and great variety Of
shade trees. In September 1lth, l77J, Gen.
Dagsworthy was commissioned by the Council
of Safety, or House of Assembly, Colonel and
Brigadier General of the foot militia of Sussex
county. The commission was signed by John
NJ. KIney, President. am indebted to Mr..
William e. Parkhurst, a merchant cf Dlgsboro',
for a sight OF these original commissions, as
well as a number of Others, Of like Importance,
one from CGsar Rodney, directed to Gen. John
Dagsworthy, of Dagsberry."
Smyrna times., 1858-07-22

INTERESTING STATIsrICs.-AmOng other in
terestlng facts of De Bows statistical view of
the United States, we may mention that the
foreign vote of the country Is One-twcltlh of
the whole; that The State of New York has
about one-elghlh of the popula' ion of the Union
that there is one house TO every SIX persons in
the country, that the number of persons who
1--we east of the Mississippi is twelve times
greater than those who live west thereof; the
distance between New York and New Orleans
is more than that between London and Cons,an-
tinople, or Paris and st. Petersburg; over two
flths of the national territory is drained by the
Mississippi and its tributaries; of the 1897 pO-
lliicaI newspapers published in the United
States in 1850, $50 were Whig and TAG were
Democratic There are four hundred thousand
Indians in our territory; at the close of the
Revolution, there were but thirty thousand in
the old thirteen States, according TO an esti
mate of Gen. Knox; direct and Indirect tax
paid by each white person in the country, 81
"a number of real estate owners 100000,
or one in about 3 10 of the free males over
twenty-one years of age number OF Federal
office holders exclusive of army and aaVy) 3d.
436 d nine fold increase since lS0O, the Popu
lation having increased about tive-tOld one
fourth part of the people reside IN villages,
towns and cities the number of people to a
dwelling in New York city averages more than
l3 in Boston nearly 9rin New Orleans 81, in
Richmond about5
Smyrna times., 1858-07-22

CAucus.-The American word Caucus is in
t,oluced into English politics. The London
y. tr speaks Of 9. caucus of Lord Palmerston's
fri ends" This word (Which Webster IS at a
loss to explain in his dictionary is derived from
early revolutionary history. The north part OF
Boston, which is celebrated from It's antl-tea
demonstrations, was the field of labor OF the
cauEkers were the most active in patriotic
movements against British oppression, and a
"eaulkers' meeting" became gradually tc be
called caucus. The word. thus derived from
revolutionary patriotism. is now adopted even
in the land whose tyranny gave occasion TO its
origin. Is
Smyrna times., 1858-07-22

MoRPHY, THE CHESS PLAYER, IN LONDON
The London Star of June "a, says: 1.-THE
American chess champion, Mr.. p. Morpby, of
New Orleans, has come to London to follow up
his challenge to play our English champion,
Mr.. ii. Staunton. Mr.. Morphy is marvel of
memory and skill, having, we are informed,
sustained no fewer than nine games simulta-
neously, without sight of the boards. He will
attend the annual meeting of the chess savans
in August next. at Birmingham. Mr.. Morphy
played yesterday with some of the members of
the st. Georges Chess Club, and exhibited
wonderful power"
Smyrna times., 1858-07-22

CAN A MAN BE HIS OWN GRANDFATHER 3
The Query answered in the affirmative -
There a widow and her daughter n-law,
and man and his son. The widow married
the son, and the daughter the old man the
widow was therefore mother TO her husbands
father, consequently grandmother to her owa
husband. They had son to whom she was
great grandmother. Now as the son of
grandmother must be either grandfather or a
great uncle, this boy was therefore his own
grandfather. N. B. This was actually the
case with boy at school at Norwich.-Notes
and Queries.
Smyrna times., 1858-07-22
That's So.

The Chicago journal has the following,
which is " true to nature:"
"Dld you ever sit by a campfire of your own
kindling, and watch the smoke as it grew thin
ner and buer, and mcaLdered its way up
among the thick and clustering leaves, and
mingled at last with the sky, that it never
stained at all Did you ever eat a fish of your
own catching and dressing and cooking, served
up on platter of a leaf, with pinch of salt
for seasoning!
1t is a luxury sometimes TO get aUay from
Injuries; and what blessing good honest
tired is no rheumatic twinge; no WEAKNESS
that Just results from want Of real aaimating
work, but right down muscular ache, that
makes you say of the pillow of evergreens it
is down. and of the blanket, 8 it is bliss You
look up through the trees at the stars that are
never turned off, and in minute you seem
to be gliding down gentle river, and are fast
asleep. And then, when the morning sets the
forest a.fre, you do not get up by degrees like
dromedary, but casting the Macinac drap perry
of your couch aside, you leap upon your feet
with spring, clothed and in your right mind
nearer right than you have been since you
were in those same woods before.
There is a directness about this wild woods
life that links in little chain, the effort and
the SUCCESS
Papa goes to town to make bread said a
little five years old daughter of friend who
goes countryward to bed; why doesn't he bring
a loaf home sometimes!
| In artificial life it is so with children of a
| larger growth; the intermediate series of means
separates the labor from the bread, and so the
latter is deprived of half its sweetness. But
in the woods it is not so; man catches his
dinner with hook, or he brings it down with
a rife, or he plucks it up by the roots; he earns
it before he eats it, and that thought and effort
make a most piquant sauce, sometimes"
Smyrna times., 1858-07-22

(Md) Shield says: A Correspondent at New
Town, writes US as follows:
1--WE have living in this place a negro wo-
man aged about fifty years, named Hannah
Smith, who presents the rare phenomena of
negro turning ,ohite. This change has been
produced by the absorption of the pigmontum
ingram, or coloring matter of the skin. Her
body, arms, legs and breast are entirely
white, with the exception of some spots, vary
ing from dime 10 half dime, dispersed over
her body and limbs.
Smyrna times., 1858-07-22
p O e T [ G. A l..
Hriuen for the Smyrna Times.
NY Highland Home.


BY MARTHA.
Thy heart is a my u en-, lassie,
An ilka smile is mine,
I'll drink your health tonight, lassie,
In bonny cup q wine
In bOnny cupo wine
I'll drain the cup,
TO luve made up
In bonny cup o wine, lassic.
What though the moon be gone, Iassie,
The stars are a a-glow;
Wen push our boat frae shore, lassIe,
Der the chrysal lake to row
Ger the chrystal lake to row
WI hanu IN hand
Wen leave the strand
For our happy Highland home, lassie.
Look up to your castle, lassio,
Wi forts o yellow stone
About the lights are fitting, !lassie,
The guest await US home
The guest await US homie
Hearst thou thai tune =
'rls Bonny Doom"
That sounds irae hall 10 dome, llssie.
I'll kiss thy saDsie cheek, lassie.
While the strain falls on my ear;
Wilk fills my heart WI uve, lassie,
Whenever thou art near
Whenever thou art near
I'll twine my arm
Around thy form
An kiss ava that tear lassie.
MYRNA, Del.
Smyrna times., 1858-07-22

FoILy PUNISHED. .---Caspar Heisenbaucher,
young German, was very badly injured in Chi
cago, on Monday, 9th instant, by firing. on
wager of half dime, a cracker held in his mouth.
He won the bet, but was seriously burned; his
tongue and cheek were lacerated, aad two of
his teeth b.own out.
Smyrna times., 1858-07-22

CSrIn Kansas, two weeks ago, Miss Irene
Baker, a girl of seventeen, married man of
seventy five from admiration OF one of his po-
liticol speeches. Thus is common saying
verified politics makes strange bed-fellows !"
Smyrna times., 1858-07-22

OIT- The Penobscot Indians are now doing a
smashing business in manufacturing hoops for
ladies' dresses out of basket stuff. The red la
dies have also adopted the fashion in its great
cst amplitude.
Smyrna times., 1858-07-22

Cows AND SUGAR Travelling a few days
in Missouri, in sections where the cows have a
wide range, we heard new enticement to
bring the cows home regularly at evening"
That was, feeding them with sugar the same as
you would with salt. A little handful at eve-
ming, at the same time OF day, would bring them
back to the gate with regularity as unfailing
as the sun. Alter they are well trained in
sugar eating, it may be omitted every other
night. A halt,dozen notable housewives as
sured me that the fact was we'll worth knowing.
Ohio Farmer.
Smyrna times., 1858-07-22

0s5- The New York Tribune says that a
plan has been matured in that city for the emf
grafton of the " free love" community to some
of the South Sea Islands. 1t is to be hoped
that there is truth in the statement. Such a
party are only fit for regions hitherto occupied
by benighted savages. We wish them speedy
voyage, and shall be glad when the broad ocean
is between our country and such detestable
nuisance.
Smyrna times., 1858-07-22

G~- The French Gazette MedicaIe states
that, by an accident, charcoal has been discov-
cred to be a cure for burns. By laying piece
of cold charcoal upon the burn the pain subsidies
Immediately. BY leaving charcoal on an hour
the wound is healed, as has been demonstrated
on severa! occasions The remedy is cheap
and simple, aud deserves trial.
Smyrna times., 1858-07-22

New York SOCIETY.-The New York Euen-
ing Post makes the following editorial state.
ment:
1T is notorious fact that, in New York, for
instance, a man of wealth, or of captivating
manners and accomplishments, whose moral
character is known to be thoroughly bad, may,
go long as he is not publicly exposed by the
press, or by the courts of law, find his crcula-
tion in some circles of what is called the best
society rather improved than hindered by the
report of his transgressions. lie may be
llbertine, a thief, and an habitual liar; he NAV
violate every command in the decalogue but
if he be recognized by few leaders of " the
fashionable worId," (who may have special and
private reasons for their conducD he is sure
among their obsequous devotees of receiving a
welcome"
Smyrna times., 1858-07-22

PULLING TEETH IN OLD TIMEs.-The primi-
tive method Of ab>tractng teeth in Scranton is
thus described by correspondent of the Er-
press
Zone end of "a firm hemp string was fastened
upon the aching member, while the other. Sc
curely tied around "a bullet purpesely notched,
was put in the barrel of an old fint-lock mus
kel' loaded with an extra charge Of POWDER
When all was ready, the desperate operator
caught hold of the gun and let drive Out
flew the tooth, and away bounded the musket
several feet This mode of extracting teeth
became the chosen and only mode practised in
this region for many years.
Smyrna times., 1858-07-22
WHOLE NO., 382.

END OF A SILLY MARRIAGE.-On the 18th of
April, says the Buffalo Commercial, we detailed
the circumstances of hasty marriage at the
Genesee House, in this city, in which bold
widower "met, wooed and won" Dulcina in
the short space of an afternoon, and the depar-
ture of the couple for the country residence of
the rich but uncultivated bridegroom. Such
matches are not made in Heaven! Last week
the young and disappointed bride pretended to
make visit from her home, but carefully packed
up her effects and left her husband forever, hav-
ing gone West with relative. Here is les.
son for ambitious damsels, who fancy that
wealth is better than " love in a cottage" and
we trust that it will not be lost. The circum-
stances of the hasty wedding, the immediate
and intense grief succeeding the ceremony, tho
gloomy honeymoon and fight, all "point a
moral" if they do not adorn tale"
Smyrna times., 1858-07-22

NEW YORK, July 8, 1868.
One Of the fruits of the recent religious revi-
walls 10 this city. is TO be the giving up of the
practice of closing the churches during the
month of August. Even if the fashionable
Christians, up town, all leave for the watering
places, the doors of the sanctuary are to remain
open for the usual service. This resolution
has been adopted by all denominations.
Smyrna times., 1858-07-22

Coon RRsoLUTIoN.-Vulgar people, who
cannot leave the city to 60 to the fashionable
watering places during the dog days, are going
to have one advantage this season never vouch-
safed them beforehand what that is, New
York correspondent OF a Philadelphia paper
let's out thus:
The Washington union. [volume] (City of Washington [D.C.]) 1857-1859, 1858-07-13
PERSONAL INTELLIGENCE.


Hon. Jefferson Davis is IN Portland with his family
where is said he will pass the So also is John
Appleton Assistant Secretary Of State The Portland
gus says that Mr. Davis sercnaded the 9th instant
by large number of citizens He responded to their
call in brief and eloquent address, being frequently
tcrupted by applause.
ExPresident Pierce and wife to leave Madeira on
he first of June for Lisbon thence avoiding the larger
european Cities for Vevay in Switzerland where he will
spend the summer. Mr. Nathaniel Hawthorne and Mr.
John Howard March will be with him in Switzerland
Miss Louisa nnder, the young sculptor Of salem will
soon return to Rome to execute orders which she has re-
ceved for several busts.
Nine Jenny Lind Goldschmidt has sold her residence
At Dresden and settled down finally in villa near Lon
don
hev. r. Caro- of Rossye, Staten Island sailed on tho
9th inst, in the Moses Taylor, for California
Derby and Jackson, of New York, are preparing for
publication in handsome volume the lively and brilliant
larity.
, MT Gilbert commercial editor of the Buffalo Advcr-
user was killed on the 9th ns by the falling of heavy
timber on bis head
information has been received of the sudden death of
Lieut. Magrnder, Of this city while on his way to Great
GAIT Lake with the Utah army His death was caused
py another mana quarrel having between them
wnsh resulted in the shooting of Lieut. NJ His parents
reside In this city.-Sats
The Washington union. [volume] (City of Washington [D.C.]) 1857-1859, 1858-07-13
GOLD IN MINNESOTA.
Correspondence Of the N. Y. Tribune.l

Correspondence Of the n. Y. Trbunel
Roscoe GooDHUE County,
Minnesota June rs, 1858
Sir would inform your readers that gold has been
discovered in Minnesota. Mr. Whipple, Californian
residing in Omstead county, being struck with the
sembancs of the sand and cs Of the country that
California; commenced prospecting, and found colors
and some pieces of pure gold. At first people very
increduous, but after it demonstrated that gold
had been found the most extravagant stories told
conc srning the amount found. Dame Rumor reported
that they picking up Jumps of gold worth from sI2
to $40 each. On visiting the digs.ngs this week. we
found probably from so to 100 prospecting and all
who had worked either in the mines of California or
Australia that the prospect very gocl but the
tales concerning the big Jumps had been slightly exag
gerated as the biggest pieces worth only about 40
or so cents. Companies being formed, hea led by
experienced miners, who intend going to work N good
earaest We send you specimens of the gold dust
On returning home to Go hue county, washed some
dirt and sand, and found good colors and one small
lump. We sent to experienced miner who was very
incredulous concerning deposit of gold in Mnneota
he frequently had had ST acmens of the gtering stuff
presented - him for examination which worthless
but he the specimens he pronounced them
hne gold and visiting the ground and washing out
colers he said it would be considered rich digging in
California 1t is certain that there dcposites gold
IN most all southern Minncsota but whether it will pay
to work the mines time alone can tell.
J. NJ GATES
The Washington union. [volume] (City of Washington [D.C.]) 1857-1859, 1858-07-13
United states Hotel.
BY j. 6. MCGUIRE, Auctioneer.
lY VIRTUE OF A DEED OF TRUST TO I'll

subscriber bearing the 31 OF December In the year
eighteen Rftyx s560 and recorded In Iber A.
SIS se made certain debt due Judsm
Meucs auction In Washington city, d. CT 70 accomplish
the object said deed win offer for sale at public auction the coun
called Eckngon In Washington county being the resi-
denoc Of Joseph Gales is bounded on the east BY the new
Badcnsburg the late Washington
Berry by Keatngs lands and south by the city
boundary very highly improved and contains hundred
and Q07) or thereabout E a9Ata Ell
The purchaser will be required TO pay oneourh Of
purchase time sale tho residue O,
H. and is months day SALE interest thereon from
give deferred payments secured
by a deed of trust Of Tho premises. tF.5
purchaser shall fail comply with the Of sale within
days the subscriber the right
previous notice
the risk Of such delaating purchaser. t
,'- JOHN T. MITCHELL, Trustee.
July 7--eo&ais J. G MCGUIRE, Aucioneor.
The Washington union. [volume] (City of Washington [D.C.]) 1857-1859, 1858-07-13

@. Beret, George Pwkm, John W. Maury, w. w. Cur
ran, and Charles s. Wa1isch
A. speCs tbs repuft that Mr. 1hoSnss ifs been fro
quently an inmate Of the watch house. members of the
committee made inquiry Of the chief Of police and
were informed that the books Of the witch house were
not Ia posson Of that ooer but that he knew Of Mr.
It's having been conveyed TO the house only upon
one occasion for disodey conduct which was about m
teen years ago. \
On motion by Mr., RIGGS, the nomination of Noble j.
Thomas was then taken up; and he duly confirmed
receiving nine yotas out Of thirtson.lA ses - e
Mr SAITH. from the police committee, reported bill
for the protection OF the resident merchants and traders
Of the city Of Washington which made the special
order for the next mosg Of the board and ordered to
he printed with the proceedings. n
Mr. DoNono from tho committee on public schools, re-
ported bill making appropriations for the public schools
for the year ending June &c. 1859 which considered
and passed % -dasa @
Mr.. Moons reported a SUMMARY of the Aims House re-
port for the month of May 1858 which laid the
table and ordered to DO printed ~ "a y
Joint resolution received from tina lower board
with amendment In relation to the late tax ses and
the amendment wss CONQUERED in. tA ,
Mr.. BnOwxs on leave, introduced bill to pay the
semi-annua interest due on the bonds OF the Alexan
dria and Washington railroad which considered and
passed s--s4a-S8 aiaat t7h1 ssB4
The nominations for police officers were then taken
up and confirmed ALSO the nomination of the commits
sioner of improvements for the Seventh ward.
bill from the lower board for the Improvement OF
alley in square sls was taken up read three times and
passed; whereupon ~
The Board adjourned ~
The Coamon Council were In session. After the
transaction Of considerable business, the board adj
journed. an