Meigs County telegraph. [volume] (Pomeroy [Ohio]) 1848-1859, 1858-05-11
Git-Bits.

Y
The DEMocRAT's RELIEF.-lf We have
no Titles ourselves, let us rail at those
who hayc!
GE-An Irish Society has announced
that its usual March meeting will be held
this yearin April.
When Mr.. Rarey's five hundred ten
guinea pupils are all horse-taming, where
will be the rarity of the thing. ~
There is man out West who labors
under the delusion that " Hon." placed
before mans name, stands for honest.
EE" They pass best over the world"
said Queen Elizabeth, "who trip over it
quickly; for it is but bog--if We stop,
we sink"
EE-A young lady is charged with hav.
ing said that if a cart-wheel has nine fel-
loes. it's pity if pretty girl like her
can't have one.
E1-A studentin neighboring college,
being recently rather "short," sold his
books and wiote to his father that he was
subsisting on literature.
EE-Jenny-Well, Annie, how did you
get along with that lover of yours7 Did
you get rid Of him? Annie-Oh yes! i
got rid fhim very easily. married him.
tbs GREAT ARlsrocRArrc Faction OF
THE DAY.-Rarey- faction. 1t is so widely
predominant, that Albert Smith declares
he met with it even on the summit Of Mon.
Blanc.
n Mhf2 sSg SS SR s ss' sttp gsHssRsn Il @ at 81 lpka IDS
house, combing his hair with the door
scraper, you may judge he has been out TO
an evening party.
AwFUL!-A new work is advertised
un der the ominous title A WomGn'S
Thoughts aboW Women. How could any
publisher have taken anything SO unchar,
itable!-[Punch.
EEsA doctor told his patient that he
must give him an emetic.
''lt's no use," said the patient. l
have tried it twice before, and il would
not stay on my stomach five minutes.'
ETT The California papers have adopted
the English custom of publishing births,
as well as marriages, and add n truly
American or rather yankee" popularity,
by giving the weight Of the new born cit
liens.
REAn old lady being afflicted with
Mysteries, imagined she could not breathe.
and appealed to her husband with, 'tMr.
-, can't BREATHE" "Well, my
DEAR replied the afflicted husband, '' !
would not try; for nobody wants you to. "
EEAt a wedding recently, when the
officiating priest put The question, "Wilt
ihou have this man to be thy welded
husband?" she dropped the prettiest
courtesey, and, with modesty which lent
her beauty an additional grace, replied,
"If yoi please"
THKER THINGs MAN NEVER GETS TIRED
% LOOKING AT.-The sky-the sea1and
wemen's faces-Our Spooney Contribu-
stor. g
And Why? Because they are never
for two days together allke.-Our Satiri-
cal Contributor.--[ Punch. zsr
R1rAn Irish gentleman had occasion
to visit the South some months since
When he returned he remarked to gen.
tieman that the Southern people were very
-extrayagant. Upon being asked why SO,
he remarked that where he staid they had
a candIAstick worth eleven hundred dol
larSi t.Why, how in the world could it
hsSe cost that much?" inquired the gen
tlemam. "0ch, be jabbers! IL was nuth-
in more'n a big niger feilOW hOidin' a
torch for as to ateby." 'a
Ez-" Mary. do you remember the
text this morning?" "No. Papa. never
can remember the text, I've such bad
memory" "Mary," said her mother,
.'did YOU notice Susan Brown" "Oh,
yes., What fright She had on her
last years bonnet, done up. pea green
silk. black lace mantilla, brown gaiters.
an irritation Honiion collar. q lava brace
let her old enr drops. and such Tan! Oh,
myl Oh / my!'g Mother-'' Well. my
dear your memory Is improving"
IE"I wantsei to schipp in the Luc:l-
Ia" said Dntchman % clerk in q
shipping Office. &
''Well. said the clerk, pen "a hand,
"whai's your name?"
"It isii Hans Observation-Disclosures
evaneymendymiishertens yfeld,mides-
hunvoudrompl'' said Dutchey, gravely
splitting oui bis old quid and taking q
fresh one.
..lIemems!.' sid tIle astonishsd clerk
al cant write tlnat. Lpok-a-here Mister,
what Is il IN Easiish--do You know"
"Yah, Icil does II is Smidth!'6
* Ze--ss1