Muscatine weekly journal. [volume] (Muscatine, Iowa) 185?-1890, 1858-07-02
WIT AND NOR.


amenting the death of his two sons. s'Two
stout. hearty boys" said he, and died just
afore hayin time-it eny most on did me-
sw An Irishman was about to marry a
Southern girl for her property. "Will you
take this woman for your welded wife -
asked the minister. "Yes, your rivirence
and the nagers too.' said Pat.
~ Mistress think, cook, we must
part this day month";
Cook-Gn astonislment. )-"Why, ma'ama
| am sure I've let you ave your own way
in most everything!''
~ Said friend to another, "Brown, |
see, has shut up shop. His number is an uE
lucky one. Whom did he succeed 20
81 don't know,"' the reply, "but it
seems he didn't succeed himseD."
G1y~ Two young men were examining a
case of pcrfumcry; one remarked that ''llar-
rison of Philadelphia had realized consd-
erable fortune by its manufacture"
Yes said the other, ono doubt he has,
but Mr. Eau de Cologne must have made q
great deal more.'
Mr.. S has a smart little boy who fire.
quently gets off good thing. A few even
ings since, at Il scanty meal, he was inter
rupted by his little son who, leaning rever-
entity forward and folding his hands, thus
began
/" Four slices Of bread for four of US
We biass the Lord thsre amt no more of u.s.
nsA, "Did thee receive my remittance,
Nathan, my son !"
Eyes, tather.' 4
"Then why did thee not buy new
coat--thy present one is certainly very ira
gile.'
"Why, the fact is, left all my money in
the bank at New Orleans"
.''Ah! thy economy is certainly commen-
dable in what bank 20
IL do not exactly remember in what bank
father-I know it was very good one, as it
had a scrptural name. 1t was um let
me see-it was the Ph ;raoh bank, think"
''Son, banks are very unsafe now, and
thee had better send for thy money imme-
diately."
Son took coughing spell.
DoDGlN' THE HATTzR.-The St. Louis pa.
pers are telling good story OF an individual
who purchased a hat in a store of trades.
man named Dodgion. The article was got
in the absence Of the proprietor, and the
purchaser left the store, entirely forgetting
(by mistake Of course} to pay for the afore-
said title. The tradesinan, upon hearing
the facts, started for the levee in hot pursuit
of the delinquent. Upon overhauling him
the following scene occurred:>
''See here, sir, wish to speak with YOU"
ssMove on"
81 am Dodgion, the halter"
'sThat's my fix.n
81 tell you, am Dodgien, the hatter."
$50 am l.; am dodgin' the halter too
and verylikcly we are both of US dodgiu' the
same chap"
The scene ended with ssstriking'' tab
leau in which Mr.. Diddler found himself
considerably "mixed up" with "Dodgion,
the hatter"
YouNG AMERICA A certain Judge, while
attending Court in shire town, was pass
ing along the road where boy was letting
down the bars to drive some cattle in. His
father stood in the door of his house, on the
opposite side of the road, and seeing what
his hopeful boy was doing, shouted:
"Joha, don't you drive the cattle In there;
told you to put them in the pasture behind
the house."
The boy took no notice whatever OF the
remonstrance, and his father repeated the
order in louder tone, without the least Ell
feet; and third time gave orders not to
drive the cattle in there. The son didn't
even deign to look up, and disobeyed the pa
rental Injunction with GOODNESS which pos
itively shocked the Judge, who, looking at
the cnprt, said in a tone of official duty:
''Boy, dent you hear your father speaking
to you?"
"Oh, y-a,a-s," replied the youth casting
glance at the Judge and then at the parent
'sbut | don't mind what he says. Mother
don't neither; and twixt she and l we've
about got the dog so he DON'T
uey~ A medical authority, Halls