Raftsman's journal. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1854-1948, 1858-07-21

NO one could Withstand the touching pathoS
of the old man. l noticed tear trembling
on the lid of my fathers eye, and no more
felt ashamed of my own.
"No, my friends, it was not once so.-
Away over the dark waves which have wreck
ed my hopes, there is the blessed light of
happiness at home. reached again convul-
sIvely for the shrines of the household idols
that once were mine, no more.o
The old man seemed looking away through
| fancy upon some bright vision, his lips apart,
and his fingers extended. | involuntarily
| turned in the direction where it was pointed,
dreading to see some shadow invoked by it's
magic movements.
81 once had mother. With her old heart
crushed with sorrows, she went down to the
grave. once had a wife, fair angel hearted
creature as smiled in an earthly home.
Her eyes as mild as summer sky, and heart
as faithful and true as ever guarded and cher
ished a husbands love. Her blue eye grew
dim as the floods of sorrow washed away its
brightness, and the living heart wrung until
every fibre was broken. | once had noble,
brave and beautiful boy; but he was driven
out from the ruins of his home, and my old
heart yearns to know if he yet lives. l once
had babe, sweet, tender blossom: but
these hands destroyed it, and 1t liveth with
one who loveth children
s'Do not be startled, friends; l am not a
murderer in the common acceptation of the
term. Yet there is light in my evening sky.
A spirit mother rcioices over the return of
her prodigal son. The wife smiles upon him
who again turns back to virtue and honor
The child-angel visits me at nightfall, and
feel the hallowing touch of a tiny palm upon
my feverish cheek. My brave boy, if he yet
| lives, would forgive the sorrowing old man
for treatment which drove him into the world,
and the blow that MANNED him for life. God
forgive me for the ruin L have brought upon
me and mine.''
He again wiped tear from his eye. My IA
| ther watched him with strange intensity,
and countenance unusually pale, and excl
ted by sopIe strange emotion.
81 was once a fanatic, and madly followed
the malign light which led me to ruin. l was
fanatic when | sacrificed my wife, children.
happiness and home to the accursed demon of
the bowl. 1 once adored the gentle being
whom l injured so deeply.
ssI was drunkard. From responsibility
and atfluence plunged into degradation and
poverty. dragged my family down with me.
For years | saw her cheek pale, and her step
grow weary. left her alone, amid the wreck
of her home idols, and rioted at the tavern
She never complained, yet she and the chill
dren went hungry for bread.
Gone New Years night / returned late to
the hut where charity had given US roof. She
was yet up, and shivering over the Goals. L
demanded food, but she burst into tears, and
told me there was none. L herceiy ordered
ler TO get SOInt- one tu.Heu uct eyes Sstuly
upon me, the tears falling fast over her pale
cheek. At this moment the child in its era
die awoke and set up furnishing wall, start
ling the despairing mother like a serpent's
sting.
eve have no food, James-havc had none
for several days. have nothing for the babe.
NV once kind husband. must We starve?'
.sThat sad pleading face aud streaming eyes,
and the feeble wall of the child, maddened
me- and Ives, I-struck her fierce blow in
the face and she fell forward upon the hearth.
The furies of hell boiled in my bosom, and
with deeper intensity as felt | had commit
ed a wrong had never struck Mary before,
but now some terrible impulse bore me on.
and stopped down as well as l could in my
drunken state and clenched both hands in her
hair.
sssGod of mercy Jamesr exclaimed my wife,
as she looked up in my fiendish countenance,
YOU will not kill us-you will not harm W lille,
as she sprang to the cradle ana graspea MN IN
her embrace. / caught her again by the hair
and dragged her to the door, and as | lifted
| the latch. the wind burst in with cloud OF
snow With yell of ieDd, still dragged
her on and hurried her ont into the darkness
| and storm With wild ha ha closed the
door and turned the button, her pleading
moans mingling with the wall OF the blast, ana
| the sharp cry OF her babe. But my "oih WAS
| not vet complete.
ii turned on the little bed where lay my
| older son and snatched him from his SUM-
| bers and against his half awakened struggles
| opened the door and thrust hlm out. III the
agony OF fear, he called me by name was
| no longer fit to bear, aud locked his fingers IN
| to nv side pocket. / could not wrench that
| fenzied grasp away and with the GOODNESS OF
| a devil rs / was, L shut the door upon the
arm, and with my knife severed 1t at the
| wrist.''
| The speaker ceased a moment, and buried
| his face in his hands, as if to shut out some
| fearful dream, and his chest heaved like
stormswept sea. My father had arisen from
! his seat, and was leaning forward, his counte-
| nance boodess, and the large drops standing
| ont npon his brow Chills crept back to my
| Young heart, and 1 wished was at home.
! The old man looked up, and l never have
| since beheld such mortal agony pictured upon
| human face as there was on his
at was morning when 1 awoke, and the
| storm had ceased. / first secured drink OF
water. and then looked in the accustomed
| place for Mary. AS missed her, for the nrst
| time shadowy scene of some horrlo'e nlght-
mare began to dawn upon my wandering mihd.
| 7 thought had fearful dream, but invoiun-
| tarily opeped the outside door with shuu-
derine dread. AS the door opened the snow
/ burst in. followed by the fall of something
| across the Threshold, scattering the snow, ana
| striking the floor with sharp, hard souhd,
NY blood shot through my VEINS, anu ruooeo ~
nv ewes to shut out the light. 1t was-O
| Cod how horrible lit was my own injured
| NJ and her babe frozen to ice The ever
| 80 n,otber had bowed her selfover her child,
III ,,ranned all her clothing around it. leaving
ber own person stark and bare to the storm
| Che had placed her hair over the lace OF the
| child and the sleet had frozen II 10 tue "nite
| cheek. The first was white I'D IT'S hai, open
I'd oyes. and upon its tiny nhgerS. Ano"
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