New-York daily tribune. [volume] (New-York [N.Y.]) 1842-1866, 1858-01-14
TRIALS OF 4 FIT NAN.
The Basoio Republic has a fat correspondent who
..,;,es I'm. pan@r frankly thus.

The Bafoio Republic has fat correspondent VINO
writes tina; paper frankly thus:
As minated 10 YOU having come To the concu,
sion that there nothing fit to eat IN Bunao, l
started for New-IoTk on Friday last, on tie Cehtia
Railroad. | had no idea that man WITH a resPeca-
be quantity Of flesh looked upon with any degree
of surprise outside Of your city limits ony "eign
tro knhdrtd aud Mirty-oH6 pounds, ana II ah salu
10 be as broad as am long tcertaniy was D? reesGn
for the ticket agert at the Buffalo depot nqulrng DO
you IRISH 10 20 as freigh or as passenger toii
him. with considerable asperity, las passenger, 0,
course" when he charged me for tickets Tor Two anu
upon my expostulatpg with HIM, he very inP !I
INQUIRED if supposed that any one else could SIT ID
the same seat occupied. Being aware that /. was
matter of some doubt, said no more, but hearu nun
mutter something 10 himsef about hogs always gong
as freight as | walked of-Hhich remark was mads
presume, to an omnibus driver, standing near. 1t
certainly could have had no reference TO me- 10 you
think il could
Il cot on the ears somewhat rufled in temper, and
after crushing two three women from diameter of
ten feet into about six inches and fatening out an
apple-boy and popcorn vender 80 that their IDENTITY
became a matter of considerable research, finally
obtained seat opposite old scrGggy lady and her
unmarried daughter. They screamed as sat down,
and was tempted to expand my lungs in the same
manner for the whole seat gave way with me and
deposited me with my wig in pool OF tobacco lalce,
and my feet in the bony unmarried girls lap. upon
extrcatinC myself from the wreck, discovered to my
horror that had split the back OF my coat had
utterly crushed out Of existence three bsndboNes and
obtained the eternal hate Of the scraggy woman ana
her bony daughter for Ited to make my apo!-
ogies, but think failed My failure is easily ex-
planned, for who ever heard u any man making
decent apology in fractured coat and head satu-
rated with tobacco juice
II then went into another car in consequence OF the
indignation of the passengers having been aroused Dy
the two women alluded to, and especially as heard
gentleman with short hair and not very placid face,
inquiring if he hadn't better punch him. Having no
doubt that the him referred to lie, made my
self as scdom possible, and got into the next car
The seats in the car all weak ra things, "a four
Of them fell to pieces as ! sat down on them. Upon
making my complaint to the conductor-who asked
there iras more than Of me-he suggested that had
better 20 into the baggage car and sit on one OF the
express trunks They being ron-bound, he thought
heyd stand il, if nothing else would l did 60 IN
there. The baggage-man, who was not very pohte,
asked NE what wanted. told him WANTED to stay
in there lie said it couldn't be did, az, if came in,
he would have to go out there wasntroon for them
two trunks and both of as in that there baggage
" car" / accommodated matters with him by giving
him dollar tone oftwenty had bOnowed), and he
agreed to ride the outside of the car, while occu,
pied the inside. got upon two express trunks, aud
was very comfortable. Indeed, | should have been
perfectly if the baggage-nGn hadn't kept annoying
me- lie kept diving his head into the ear, and asking
if ! was going to New-York and upon myreplyng that
| was, he would convey my reply to the brakeman,
who evidently had been talking of me all the way
from Rochester. Finally, the baggage-nan dove his
head in again, if to end some argument and asked
il intended to go to Barnums Museum when got to
New York. told him L should; Wnlcn Information
he reconveyed to the brakeman, who CALCULATED,
Thought so--it's him"
"fc0uldn't imagine what tneymcan Iney clIuckied
considerably and said: Seen him for nothn. 'Twould
q cost two shilln's in New-York when l abruptly
put an end to their conversation by putting my head
out of the car door, and nquiring who was him and
what would cost two slhlngs III New YORK, ana
what they had seen for nothing The brakeman
was somewhat startled but recovered sufficiently to
say FAT Boy. This answer ahording me no informa-
ton whatever, backed into the again, much puz
being broied on an Immense gridiron for the purpose
Of irving me out, aud that the fat running from
me in innumerablc rivulets, which being caught
in little tin cups aud sold by tradesnen of all descrp-
items. arrived in Syracuse, and there awoke, de-
lighted to find that retained my accustomed flesh,
and that gongs sounding ecstatic announcements
Of dinner i will write you again soon. Til then
oo"''' "'' ''"' N'"N" "' FIAT CONTRIBUTOR"