The Kanzas news., 1858-06-19

.ow the .yiietiu1s of q disorder quite As gen
araI ss she sfher.. and for which there IS mol
ren,e.sv but exDerienee Neither precept
nor exampIe-here his lips quiyeTeds slight
5v--haye been of any avail In youF case
Go then and marry if you viii. give my
full consent, on one condition only. 1t IS
that you all present yourselves in three years
from this day and hour, and declare solemn
", upon the worth of your remaining mai.-
hood, whether you are unhappy. and why.
The causes of misery in wedlock are very
various, but the result is uniform. I viii
excuse You now, boys, as have an appoint
meat with my tailor
It is needless to say that the three nephews
ayailed themselves of the permission thus
unwillingly given. and that any self-reproah-
es they might feel at defeating the cherished
wishes of their kindest benefactor, did not
seriously embittef the honey moon. The
three years that followed stole handful of
gray hairs from the bald forehead of Jedu-
thun Spike, and. as If ashamed of the theft,
secretly restored them hidden among the
chestnut locks of his young relations.-.
And, as farther restitution, the same silent
agents transferred, unnoticed, a portion of
the hopeful tenderness of the youthful Ben
fSuiCtS " ECITSSU Mlt0eEeu Heott VI VIC
disappointed bachelor The time for the
interview so long anticipated, arrived at last.
In the luxurious rooms of the lonely uncle.
Henry and Charles, the two elder nephews
waited patiently the arrival of the younger.
cit is useless looking for Edward said
Charles, at last. esWe shan't see him be-
fore evening. His wife is now looking for
Ia needle TO darn his stockings, and replace
the missing buttons upon his coat. !"
F.. Yet, as he spoke, a cheerful step was
heard without, and the tardy brother enter
ed the room, breathing quickly, and with a
smiling apology for his delay. The two
first arrived exchanged meaning glances.
but the n,erciless uncle cut short their fher
riment by saying gravely:
Henry, my boy, you are the eldest. 1t
| is just that you should lead upon this oc-
easion. Tell US frankly, how do you enjoy
| married life ?''
The young man paused for moment,
then with a-comical grinace that but i'll.
concealed his reluctance, he replied:
cit is bitter dose to swallow, confess.
Uncle, you are reyenged.
There was slight movement of surprise,
for Mrs. Henry Spike was recognized as de-
cidedly notable.
!. 81 thought said the uncle, drily, ''that
| yours was pattern wife
"Only too much so,'' returned the neph-
ew. 1t is my belief that she was modelled
upon the, most approved patterns and made
up to order. If ever there was machine
for performing mechanically every outward
| virtue, it is Mrs. Henry Spike. She never
| loses her temper. indeed, i doubt if she has
any to lose: She never betraYs any futtef
of vanity or wounded feeling. To the calm
ness of statue, she adds an intuitive per-
eeptioD of decorum. rigid adherence 10
rectitude, which leaves nothing to hope or
fear, and very little to enjoy. Nothing can
disturb her. When our infant was danger
ously i'll, she moved about his cradle with
the same unperturbed composure, and drop
ped his last cordial, as We thought, into the
cup with an untrembling hand.'' -
t'I hardly see how you came to marry her,
remarked Edward, par parenthse.
t'She was pretty, and mistook her nat
ural roses for bushes, and her silence for
delicate reserve. was much moved when
she once left me in tears; have since learn
ed she had the toothache. I can never find
in her deportment anything to forgive. and
am tired of praising where correctness
seems inevitable. Besides, she don't care
for praise. She was. wound up at birth,
and her heart pulsates with the regularity
of a pendulunf If I should hang myself
of pure ennui, know she would arrange
everything for respectable burial. Ny
condition is desperate. In passing through
New York last winter. religiously avoid
ed seeing Lola Montez, for knew should
be smitten at glance. The Slightest touch
of human frailty seems absolutely refresh.
ing. Speak, brother, he added after brief
pause, and in mercy point out some defect
in Mrs Charley Spike.'';
.asMrs. Charles Spike," responded the
person addressed, s'is not absolutely stupid,
nor entirely Indifferent in matters of feeling.
She gives some variety to life in point of
temper, and permits me to hope to please,
as well as fear to offend But like your
Rectina. she has alasi one paramount idea.
Order is heavens first law and it is not
the less that of my immaculate Vesta.-
Especially does she insist upon the. most
sposless neatness, at the expense of all 9th
er considerations. / discovered soon after
nay marriage that the world was little too
good TO live in. The parlors were shut up
to avoid the dust. The dining room furni-
ture was rdbed in Holland covers, and ugly
mats deformed every square yard of carpet
ing. Canarfes were banished because they
Uttered their cage. and my pet spaniel dis
missed for neglecting to wipe his feet
Then pickles spoil the cutlery, and eggs
corrode the silver; coffee is liable to.stain
the hnen,. and even butter if incautiously
used. may be the parent of grease spot.
Cigars have long sinee abjured, because
spitteens are an abominatioB. If sit, 1t
is 'Nr. Spike, your chair marks the wall, =
or Charles, you are rocking on the rug.
If walk. it IS, Pray leave your boots at
the door. Mr.. Spike. and let me bring your
slippers sometimes think / win remove
to a hotel, and send home nay compliments