Amador weekly ledger., 1858-03-27
Contributed to the .amador Ledger.
A Leaf from my Scrap Book.

fornia Sabbath, or, more properly speaking,
of the manner in which it is observed, /
sought my Scrap Book to notice an incident
that had occurred, and which l wished to
preserve. Having finished, | gave rein to
my thoughts, which were soon borne by the
wings of memory back to the happy days Of
childhood, when the world seemed more
heaven-ke, when sin was only known by
name, and the flowers appeared fairer and
sweeter than have since known them. Oh,
thrice happy daysl tear is all | have to Of
fer thee. Take it, tits thine, and sacred to
the brightest hours of existence. But have
trod fairer pathway, where, forgetful of
self, have lived in the happiness of anoth-
er. That, too, has passed Memory and
proud heart are all that is left. As thoughts
crowded upon thoughts, l fell into deep
sleep. Again those happy days were brought
back by the magic wand of the dream-god.
Again | breathed the sweet fragrance Of those
sunny hours. Mother, sisters, brothers-all
were gathered within the sacred walls of home
again. Gods holy word was read in tones
that time cannot rob of their sweetness
Again the fervent prayer assembled to the
Throne Of Grace, asking protection for the
one who was to leave his home for the far
distant land of gold. Again the farewell
was spoken. Again-oh memory, why can
you not tear the dark leaf from your book
VOWS of love were made and tokens of aifec-
tion exchanged. Again the wide waste of
water was passed in safety, the mines reached,
and letters written to the loved ones at home.
At first, each mail would bring cheering t.
dings, but soon death with his relentless
! hand bore away first one and then another,
till alone was left. With what agony of
spirit suffered none eau tell Still there
was some hope we would meet again in that
bright land, far, far away; and was not she
whom / loved dearer than life, still left Inc
Oh did | not work that might soon re
turn? But fate ordered that | should not
succeed; month after month passed away,
as no letter came for me; heart-sick I'd turn
from the post Office, fearing that death had
taken all that was left me. For one whole
year | received no tidings whatever, and was
on the point of going home-a sad home to
me, for felt that all were gone. While i
sat meditating on the best way to go, heard
a person inquiring for me, who said he had
just arrived from the place so constantly the
subject of my thoughts. essayed to speak,
buthad scarcely strength to bid him welcome;
yet with an effort | soon was myself again
| inquired about everything excepting that
of which my very heart was bursting to know
of her dared not speak, and thus the first
day passed On our second interview he
broached the dreaded subject, saying, Do
you remember - well, she is married to
-". l heard no more, dizziness seized
me, and turning ftom him wandered,
knew not whittier, till / sank upon the
ground from sheer exhaustion. | felt that |
was mad, and that death was my only relief
Yet in my madness | desired not to be term
ed "a suicde"-I would putan end to my ex-
istence in such manner as to make it ap-
pear not in ntentional, l would fall by accident
into the penstock, knowing that pressure Of
fifty inches of water would quickly end my
wearied life. This determination gave me
renewed courage and strength, and arising
from the ground l washed all traces of grief
from my face, and again sought my cabin
1t was late in the day when / arrived and
evading the inquiries of my partners as to
where had been, bent my steps towards
the penstock, remarking as | left, that |
would stop leak in it that had recently been
troubling u.s. | was elated with the idea of
so cunningly quitting this world of faded
hopes; imagine my insane chagrin at finding
the water had failed! Frenzied with the
idea of being thus foiled, climbed the frame
work with unwonted agility, and stood def
antly upon its very top. The sun was sink,
ing in his golden bed behind the coast range,
and scene of grandeur and beauty was
spread out before me as | stood poised half
hundred feet above the ground; but no
magnifcence could lure me from my purpose
of self-destruction. gave one parting look
at the snow-capped Nevadas, feeling their chill
at my heart, with no raw of even a setting