Washington telegraph., 1858-07-28
The Whang Doodle Party.

ulations of political mountebanks and
gamblers, has thrown them into a terrible
splutter. They manifestly feel that they
are standing on the utmost edge of plat
form that is rotten in every plank and
creaks at the slightest gale. Ii the bare
suggestion of Constitutional Party with
say Mr.. Crittenden, Mr.. Bates, Mr.. Bell,
Mr. William Z. Riyes, or any other man
having the confidence of the country at
its head, throws them into such ludicrous
fright, cluses such a trembling in the
knees, what shaking among the dry
bones would there be by the practical
realization, which by the way seems now
rather more likely than not, OF the idea
The creed of the political whang doodle
is one of great simplicity, whatever may
be said OF its beauty or patriotism. lt
consists of two articles. viz : Office and
whisky, Occasionally these are reversed.
aud it is whisky and Office. If the creed
is simple, it i wei understood, aud the
genuine whang doodle rarely seeks to ex-
plOre any misteries that may lie in fields
much beyond them. When in Office he
believes that the salvation Of the country
depends upon his keeping IN, and when
ont, he Is decidedly in favor of rotation
in Office tha; lie may get in. And as to
red eye. why his scent is as keen when
he's ON its track az bloodhounI's on the
track of a wounded hare. What can be
simpler than the creed of the political
whang doodle! But nevertheless the
whang doodle Is not without his mysteries,
any more than other people. The greatest
mystery to him is how any body can 20
beyond his creed in politics. Patriotism
| he considers myth. and to hear his ex-
. clIulatIoI oi Infinite contempt at the suz-
/ .esti1u OF such an entity aside frotl Office
aud rcI-cye, Is entirely sufficient to show
the sincerity of his faith in his creel and
I lis exceeding depth. The whaug doodle
t is very pusnJc.Uus and believes in hight
ing Tor his yriHcipiss. His weapons OF
|utt.ck aud defense arc rs simple IS his
creed, and about Is effective His logical
weapon Is ..-icderalism," and his spear Of
attack, the j95Hs ring. For instance. the
,si,-.uS dUy,.ls party started about a year
and hall ago with thirty or fotty millions
of surplus revenue it has issued twenty
millions Of treasury notes, spent current
revenue uf forty millions, borrowed twenty
millions more. and within the year spcnt
eighty millions, with a prospect Of run
ming up the public expense for the ycar
now entered upon to one Lun-red millions
Of dollars The genuine whaus doodle
I in answer 10 this rather costly exhibit, by
/ way OF explanation and comment, cries
I out ..lcIerali-uI :" He is confident this
will be- overwhelming, quite an cxtinguisher.
I The whang doodle has great respect Tor
popular intelligence, and sIys that the
whaug doodle party appeals confidently to
I the patriotism and ulizhtclment of the
masses for jus;iita,ion Of its priaripi-s
/ and an endorsement of its measure says
I he believes in measures well hcaped up
AID shaken down when he comes to the
public crib, and never did profess any
Thin. to the contrary, which We believe.
\ He goes for 10 ScrHpisS, altogether too
| liberal for that, believes the OK knoweth
his owner and the as his masters stall,
which is cheerfully conceded
The whang doodle party, it is admitted,
has got the country completely into
snarl, all By the ears, and one Of Its chief
tail bearers says upon his honor-thc
whang dOadles arc all honorable men
that the government which 1t rules Is the
...nost corrupt government on the face OF
the earth" Fact. "a voice from the IooH'Js
even said SO, and any whang doodle who
would doubt the accuracy of any thing
coming from such source should be
banished from the Sluhedrim as slcri-
lesious heathen Though he cannot doubt
the truth OF all this, he is not to be foiled
\ by it, aud hc responds triumphantly, ''ied-
eralisn." The whang doodle Is great
logician. The spear of the whang doodle
is the boomerang, one popularity OF which
Is that it, IN unskiliful hands,
/ -"thourh well aimed at duck aud plover,
Recoils, and knocks its owner over"
The political whang doodles just now,
alarmed at the enthusiasm which is every
where awakening in behalf Of Mr.. Crit
ten1en as the dreaded head Of the Cousti-
tutional Party, have seized the boomerang
aud hurled it straight at the old Sage's
head because they say he voted with the
Black Republicans on the English bill /;
but most unluekily for them the boone
rang discharged in this direction goes
right through the heads of Messrs. Quit
man. of Mississippi, and Bonham, of ).
Carolina, two especial favorites of the
whaug doodles, who voted with Mr.. Crit
tenden on that occasion, and then of
course, the instrument, having made its
circuit, and doing this mischief, comes
right back to knock over its political
holders. This is naughty feature in the
boomerang, and the whang doodles will
have to give up its use entirely or it will
be the death of them.
The whang doodle party will find out,
we opine, before many more months, or
at least before the close of next year, that
these two weapons of defense and attack,
federalism and the boomerang, won't
ans wer any longer The people have
found out what they are, what they mean