Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1858-06-03
IRISH DRoLERY.


/. An amusing story of DANES harrington,
Recorder of Bristol, is related by one of the
British press. Having to appear for the
plaintiff in a case at the winter assize in
Clonmel, he ''let," into the defendant in no
measured terms. The individual inveighed
against not being present, only heard Of the
4 invectives. After Darlington, however,
had got back so far as Dublin, the Tippera-
ry man had lost no. time in paying his COM
i pliments to the counsel. He rode all day
and night, and covered with sleet, arrived
before Barrington's residence. in Harcourt
street, Dublin Throwing the bridle of his
smoking horse over the railing of his area.
he announced his arrival by laundering
knock at the door, (which nearly shook the
, street. Barrington's valet answered the
summons, and opening the door, beheld the
apparition of rough coated Tipperary fire.
eater, with large stick under his arm, and
the .sleet sticking to his bushy whiskers.
lis your master up," demanded the Wis
itor, in voice that gave some intimation of
the object of his journey. -
'No," answered the man.
''Then give him my compliments, and
say Mr.. Foley, .(he'll know the name, will
be glad to see him. ......
The valet went up stairs and told his
master who was in bed, the purport of his
, visit { ra ss:.I &. s45.9.s ilI3'isl
"Then don't let Mr. Foley in for your
life" said Darlington, 'tfor it's not hare
and brace of duck he has come to present.
me with" 1883 So Y:
i The man was leaving the bed room,
when a rough wet coat pushed by him.
while thick voice said, s'your leaye;;" at
the same moment Mr. Foley entered the
bedroom. Eza.r
"You know my business" said he to Mr..
teach you manners, and it is not my purpose
to return until I have broken every bone in
your body" and at the same time he cut a
figure of eight with his shillelagh, before
the chevel glass.
'tYou do not mean to say you would
murder me in bed," exclaimed DANES, who
had as much honor as cool courage.
.sNo," replied the other .'but get up as
soon as you can"
eyes, replied DANES, t'that you might
fell me the moment put my body out Of
the blankets" .s..-
mo-" replied the other, II pledge you
my word not to touch you till you are out of
bed"
'sYou won't?" - = -.
II won't" s.t..ts.s.a
Upon your honor {"
"Upon my honor,
'That is enough" said DANES, turning
over and making himself very comfortable,
seeming as though he meant to fall asleep,
Il have the honor of an Irish Gentleman,
and may rest as safe as thought were under
the castle guard" f v
The Tipperary salamander looked mar
vellously astonished at the pretending sleep,
but soon DANES began to snore ...-~-.-.,
'Halloa~ said Mr.. Foley, aren't you go
ing to get upw
NO." said DANES, Il have the honor Of
an Irish gentleman that he will not strike
me in bed and I am sure am not going to
get up to have my bones broken; [ will
never get up again. In the meantime, Mr..
Foley, if you should want your breakfast,
ring the bell; the best in the house is at
your service. The morning paper will be
here presently but be sure to air it before
reading, for there is nothing from which a
man SO quickly catches cold, as reading
damn journal" and DANES. once more affect
ed to go to sleep.
The Tipperary man had fun in him as
we'll as ferocity; he could not resist the cum
ming Of the counsel, so laughing he exclaim-
ed, A.Get up, Mr.. Darlington, for in bed Or
out of bed, [ have not the heart to hurt so
droll man."
The result was that in less than an hour
afterwards, DANES and his intended MUIR
derer were sitting down to warm break
fast, the latter only intent upon assualting
a dish of smoking chops.
MAxIMs OF BISHOP MIDDLETON. N.-Perse
we're against discouragements. Keep your
temper. Employ leisure in study, and al
ways have some work in hand. Be pune
tual and methodical in business, and never
procrastinate. Never be in hurry. Pre-
serve self-possession, and do not be talked
out of conviction. Rise early, and be an
economist of time. Maintain dignity with
out the appearance of pride. manner is
something to everybody, and everything
with some. Be guarded in discourse. at
tentive and slow to speak. Never acquiesce
in immoral or pernicious opinions. Be not
forward to assign reasons to those who have
no right to ask. Think nothing in conduct
unimportant or Indifferent. Rather set than
follow examples. Practice strict temper
ance, and in your transactions remember
the final account. .
@-The prettiest lining for bonnet is a
smiling face.
EwLittle sins may be followed with great