Bedford inquirer. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1857-1884, 1858-07-16

md meaner sort of books.
What makes man wretchei TaprsIness uenied : !
Lorenzo no; tits happiness disdained.
She comes too meaniy drest to win our smiei
And calls herself Contcnt--a homsly name
Our fame is transport, and content our scorn
Ambition turns, and shuts the door against her,
And weds toil, tempest, in her stead-Toang.
aJULlUs, what's lalitudinarian 4" "a laty
tudy what - "a latitaainaIian :" ga laty-
Mr.. Snow, is man what ascer-
tains the circumference of de hemusfear, and
brings dc axle of de arf opposite to de hub OBJ
de universe"
4 SERIOUS QUESTION
Said Lady Bah to Lady Sue,
ssI wish were as bcst as you;
Your husband is polite and kind,
OF gertle manners, generous mind,
0bliging, gay in friendship warm,
With every qua lity TO charm
esPray, Lady Bab,' cried Lady Sue,
elbow Came my husband-sntre NOUS
So intimately known to you fD
q DISTINCTION AND nIFFERENoE. -
Fred, idly strolling cut one day,
Was told that Kate had passed that way,
And though somewhat fop in taste,
His clothes thrown loosely on in haste,
His hair disheyened-stock united
With painting breath he reached her side;
Surprised, she gazed on Frederick's plight,
And Justly angred atthe sight,
Said, in tone Of jesting ire,
~ see u re running 10 fiIe.'
uWeI, no, p he aaively said but smuch the same,
I've just been botly chasing up fameie
Our Jeems says be never travels by q s'light-
ming express train'' unless be's sure it has
good conductor. .-Carringten's Commisctonalre.
Many of the Vigilants would have been APP
propriate adornments of the lower end of a
perpendicular rope.-.N. O. True Delta.
Exactly but not nclining to the perpen-
dicular, we presume they 'sloped. Ed. Com.
A WoMEN's RIGHT -ER.-lt is said that
Middleton. the fashionable gaiter maker, IS an
earnest uphclder Of Hdlnan's sishts--and let's.
Patience waited, aae tie egg sang.-Jsrroid.
EpIaRAM ON DRUNKEN BRAwLER.
Who only in his cups viii fight, is like
A clock that must be oiled well ere it strike.
Thomas Bancroft. 1888.
TIME.-
Time ras, is past thou canst not it recall
Time is, thou hast; employ the portion small.
Time f1furs is not, and may never be-
Time present is the only time for thee.
The mother who saw baby prettier than
her own, has been sent to lunatie establish
ment-
REVIVAL RHYMEs.-A New York poet, in
touching on the conversion of Awful Gardner,
goeth it thus
We sing and shout our grateful thanks,
| That Awful Gardner's joined our ranks
/ That as the lamp holds out to burn
/ There may be chance for Patrick Hearne
And as his mercy's oil endmin',
We may even hope for John Van Buran.
Paddy's description of fiddle can not be
! beat sit was the shape of q turkey, and the
size of goose he turned il over on its back
and rubbed its belly with crooked stick, anc
och, st. Patrick how it did squale!!'
you'll have to bear the responsibility sale
a mother to a bright-eyed young daughter
who thought of marrying without the materna
appreciation. 4 expect to bear several, ma,
said Fanny.
Miss Julia, allow ME TO close the blind; tn
glare of the sun must be oppressive. 'Yol
are very kind, sir but would rather have
little son than no heis' at all.
The selfish man cannot see the miseries Q
| the World--he cannot feel the pangs aui thrust
of hunger.
An Irishman being asked for certificate Q
his marriage, barred his head and exhibiting
hugh scar which looked as though it was mad
with Are shovel. The evidence was satisfac
tory.
do you know the prisoner, Mr.. Jones 3
sYes, to the bone.'
J what is his character =
, Didn't know he had any
docs he lave near youf'
$50 near that he has only spent Eve shilling
for 6rewood in eight years.
A dying West India planter eroaning to b
+ favorite negro servant sighed out, All, Samb
I'm going long Journey
. sNeyer mind, massa,' said the negro, cons
, lingly, shim all de way down bill
t Here's Webster on BRIDGE said Mr.
e Par,ington, as she handed Ike the dictionar
0 Study it contentively, and you will gain : sf
: deal of inflammation
..szz., ~ . vessel when 81
An lrishman on ooarad osooaaraadering, being desr,
was on me hoshk hsnk as she was going down, repli
% come ~ aid not wish TO go on deck to see hii
. ssif drowned
FAcT.-One of the wise men Of 'Greas
recently declared in public meeting that Il
size of sausages was not SO important as Il
material of which they we're manufactured.
Some hearts, like primroses, open most bea
tifally in the shadows of life.
All is sugar to the yain-eyen the praise
l fools.