The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1858-05-27
THE PACIFIC
Commercial Advertiser.



My VIE .sA L.
"Oh dear. 1 vsh I wers rich -
1nis remark was extracted from my wife (as an Of
ccntemphtion Of . large opening in the toe Of lit
fersy's stocking. which she had been trying in val
% devise some mode Of closing, without destroyin
me symmetry OF the garment, while a pile Of simils
e much In need Of mending rs an old rake's habit
mere they lay seven pairs of little stockings, Will
thear seven daily occupants were snugly snoozing i
PED, forgetful Of the many weary stitches their littl
- scattered . promiscuous assortment Of juvenil
aprons md dresses, Jackets and breeches, each on
bearing its owners mark, in the shape Of rips an
rentsL
sI wish I we're rich % repeated NV wife.
There was q strength and h~eartiness in the ton
and manner which Lett no doubt Of her sincerity, an,
IN an instant my mind went back some twenty years
TO the time when We had been rich-rich in our youn,
love. rich IN our mutual dependence, and rich in tn
bright hopes which not only gilded but fairly plate,
IL fhtore all over with twenty-carat plate at least
- together We looked down. the long vista of comm,
ys.rs, hr lowers Of joy around our feet, ripe fruit
q happsneB over our heads, the richest of all riches
e1ntgmfment In our hearts, and -four at ouly Eve dol
hss Per barrel
Almost twenty years ago those soft hazel eyes tina
nov beam with tender. matronly love, first told thu
has not yet fsded) confirmed; and that fair, round
Ne, that has grown fairer and rounder year by year
INST lay upon my breast in maiden trustfuIness.
We did not hll in love, nor walk into ii, nor glide
1neo IT. but We took to it by instinct as ducks take to
water. and We were married, with about as definite
an idea OF the modes and means Of meeting our cur.
rent expenses ~ . raw Irishman has of Egyptian
hierogiyphics, or . charcoal peddler of honesty.
over fools and youn< married people.
In point Of worldly possessions we commenced with
nothing, and have had it ever since; for, what with
the increased expense of living, and our success in
from the possession Of q respectable competency as its
predscessor. Financially we have scrambled along
IN . helter-skelfer way, tumbling into little puddles
Of debt from time to time, with now and then a long
interval Of exemption, to be followed by a new tum-
be and q new scramble for safety. Until now, on
this cold Saturday night in January, my wife aud l
- cozily by our cheerful FIRE, she with a load Of I'M
manding and to-be-mended Stockings on her mind,
snd l. eA.nsibly reading, trying to solve the great
problem Of the relation between supply and demand;
at least, 90 FAR as to make my own weekly supplies
cover the weekly demands of wife, children the gro
Ger, and the landlord. And so I sit, buried in
happiness, and now darkencd by shades Of unpaid
January bills, which load my desk, making the de-
nAnd for the great STAPLE, money, far exceed the sup
ply. thereby, according to our best political econo-
mists, enhancing its value.
Meantime my wife, still laboring under the weight
Of the stockings, says, for the third time, with in
creased fervor and a slight degree of asperity, as
though demanding a reply,
81 I'm 0S8r 0edr i Wish L were Ilcn-
-" Riches, my love, take to themselves wings and
dy away" l replied, with the air Of one who had seen
myriads Of tender young dollars put on their pin
feathers, become fully fedged, and soar away to I'M
known regions like a flock of wild geese. leaving not
even the smell Of money behind
We'll, If they do, they must go to roost somewhere,
and I don't see why some Of them can't settle here as
veil As elsewhere" said my wife. as she commenced
on . fresh stocking; and then added, with q slight
dash Of acidity, there's no danger Of our riches fly
ing away
"No. my dear. the wealth of loving hearts. Of I'M
stained consciences, and confented dispositions is a
fights These are your only true riches. With these,
you are richer than Cresus; without them, poor in
deed
That's all very well, but that kind of property
dat constitute legal tender You can't pay the gro
e. with consciences and disposition, however pure
md contented. They don't 90 half so far as prom
ias, for I've known you to make them last n year.
But speaking Of the grocer remindsme that I thought
I saw the bottom of the -four barrel this morning"
Now knew in an instant that there wasn't four
enough in that barrel TO make a homeopathic biscuit,
for I had had a hint of its condition the day before,
IA the shape Of an inquiry from my wife, " What is
6our worth now y"-xpressed in a tone intended to
indicate that she had no more interest in the matter
than she had in the number Of statute miles between
the earth and the moon
II b . pleasant little fiction Of hers, that a delicate
hint, in relation to the ~consumptive economy, falls
mpe lightly upon the ear Of the moneyless than the
and simple, though appalling sentiment, " The
barrel is empty and she will resort to all
manner of expedients for bringing the case to my
mind rather than state it in plain English. In fact,
I have sometimes thought of teaching her to say it in
Spanish, aud thus remove a little of its harshness,
Int as she had no aptness for any tongue, except her
have abandoned the idea
The purchase Of a barrel Of -four is an event in our
househod economy not to be treated lightly. Ii re-
ouires preparation and consideration. In the first
Mace, n certain sum of money is to be provided to
meet the emergency, for whatever latitude the grocer
may allow in minor matters, when you talk to him of
four you must produce the q1id pro quo. or there is
no trade
The next point TO be decided is the selection of the
ss brand" This leads to friendly interchange OF
views between the heads Of the home department,
which always results in my being commissioned to
and . caution 70 avoid all attempts at false economy
b Investing in q cheaper quality. In my younger
days, I once made q purchase of a barrel Of second
quality Gas the grocer called it,) to see if my wife
rould know the difference; and L believe I have had
he biscuit that were made from it thrown at me ever
Iince
You should see my wife when she assists at the OPEN
M Of the new barrel, and its snowy treasures are
disclosed to her grati6ed gaze. Smiles dimple her
~ checks, and pleasure sparkles in her eyes. How
andsriy she lifts each ~dipperful from its receptacle,
.xzmiD1 it with the eye Of a judge. and rronounces
= quality with the air Of an expert And what a
OF housewiSely satisfaction mantles her fair face,
fen the first baking confirms her Judgment |, And
-. day by day, she descends deeper and deeper
ntD its recesBes, each dipperfui, snowy though IL be,
uvu . shade upon her brow, until ut last the -four
n he smiles and dimples disappear together.
n cit reading Of an evening, l can hear that
uoodsn dipper humping at the slaves or gently
ersping the bottom Of the harrel as it descends in
- e the wherewithal for the bread of the coming
~, and I know that my wife is intimating By these
Dsnns TIE necessity Of q fresh supply as plainly as
houah she told me in 50 many words, TOR she knows
hnti en- hear every thump. And by-and-by she
In hooking - demure as n kitten, and none but
= HItisfed would ever dream that she had an empty
barrel on her mind. But the next day brings
barrel. fresh smiles and dimples, and a renewed
spls1iou Of the already attenuated purse The smiles
I'd aEnpl0 ars always cheap At the price, even If
y bar u not
AZ I meditafed on this momentous subject, I could
- bg tne knitting Of her brow and the increased
ieur uish which she applied herself to her weekly
-. shnf NY vife's financial aspiration was still
in - mind. and knowing BY long expert
- t6ak confined thoughts, like explosive gases,
- have vent; and fearing that some more violent
'mazk might Be shot at me, ike a pellet from a gun,