The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1858-02-11
VARIETY.

Health comes Of itself hut we are Mt great pains to
get diseases. Health cotsuSDRn simple life Of
nature; diseases from the artificial NE Of nature.
LsrcHryG.
Laughing dos person good
Muscles ex-r-isng;
Hspns to diEe~t the food
That ~ laughing all fat
Chasing OF the yeIiows.
DARK hue devils AMI an that
Laugh. then jolly fellows
The wedding pocket handkerchief Of the English
Princess Royal is worth $500 (or So 5O0) it is said.
"Prry Miss CO said gentleman the otssZ
evening, q. why the ladies' so fond Of officers!
How stupd.'' replied Miss; els it not perfectly
proper and natural that young lady should like
good offer sir"
A certain Cockney buebeard, overcome by sensi-
biltes. tainted the grave Of his fourth spouse.
"what can we do with him - asked perplexe
ftisni of his Sc Let him Alone" said waggsh by
stsnier; " he'll soon revive :"
GREATEST ORGAN IN THE woRLD.-The organ Of
speech in woman; an organ, too, without . stop.
Paupernickle says n woman's heart is the sweet
est thing in the world, in fact perfect honey
comb. fall Of sells Bee
Punch ADVISES the Governor Of Utah to $50 in
while he's Young The advice is good, for some
body is Cumming who'll check him.
Some people have fashion OF thinking that the
truth is species of dull tonahawk, and that its
efficiency is precisely proportioned to its power OF
nGngiing.
"Marriage resembles pair Of shears,' saws Sid
nev Smith, oineti that they cannot he separated
often moving IN opposite directions, yet always pun
ishing any who comes between them"
RrrSa wzrsHrrsG.
II Is nnsr rfgzt n rite. ,c-iqsf;
But write It always simriy rite
rfvou want to spend fortune, publish country
newspaper; If you fond Of scandal, live in board
ing-house: If you have taste for law, buy horses,
and Re sure you have guarantee with EACH
Said a woman old maid. who reproached her
for her choice of husband, To be sure, he is not
90 good a husband he should be; but he's power
ful sight better than none
young lady alighted from a stage coach, when
piece ~ ribbon fell into the coach.
"You have left your bow behind" said lady
passenger.
40. no haven't. he's gone ishiug.' innocently
rsj9ined the dam0 proceeding on her way.
Dobsls Is n strong believer In as guardian angels"
Fit were not for them, he asks. What would keep
peoule from rolling of bed when they are aseeps"
Whoever is honest generous candid and courteous.
is gentleman whether he be learned or unlearned.
rich or poor. How many believe it, Our false
society says and acts out-and-out the very reverse
A DIFFICULTY R-vovED.-The alarm felt among
the bachelors on Of the decision by the Courts.
that few visits and friendly attentions to lady
might he construed into engagement, IS subsdlng
under the following method of protection Out West
the bachelors provide themselves with cards duly
labelled:
ssGoos sor this caIi-ony."
which sufficient evidence Of serious intentions
II strikes that there u :" e11ffd OF wisdom IN
the following quotation, brief rs ii is =
every school boy knows that a kite would not -
unless had string tying il down. 1t is Just 80 in
Es The man who il tied down by half dozen
blooming responsibilities and their mother, will make
higher and stronger fight than the bachelor, who,
having nothing to keep him steady, is always houn-
dering in rhe mud If You to rise in the world
tie yourself to somebody"
JERRoupraxA-ss That tune" said somebody IN
the company once, "alwrys carries me away with it,
II "a mat
The late Mrs. Glover, another time, was COM
planning that her hair turned gray and attributed it
20 her using essence of lavender.
"Say. my dear lady, essence Of thyme" (time)
"CaII that kind man 30 said actor. spAking
Of an absent acquainfance-'sam man who is away from
his family and never sends them farthing Call
that kindness,''
"Uuremitring Kindness Jerrold chuckled.
Mr. Albert Smith was the target for one Of yer-
rods keenest and wittiest shafts The hero OF Mont
Blanc was once, In Jerrold's company, not over
moiestly insinuatng resemblance between his own
Writings and those of Goldsmith
"a great deal OF the SnrrH but very little OF the
GoLD, Was Jerrobi's Fithy and sarcastic comment
CosrxxrxESr-s. Did you not say, Ellen, that Mr.. |
B. Is poors''
Yes; he has only his profession
"will your uncle favor his sut.''
"No and can expect nothing from him.
Then, Ellen, you win have to resign fashionable |
society,"
mo matter; I shall see the more Of Fred
You must give up expensive dress"
sOh, Fred. aimres simplicity.
You cannot keep carriage"
:" But we can have delightful walks :"
:" You must take small house and furnish it very
plainly
I" Yes for elegant furniture would be out Of place
IN cottage
"You viii have to cover your floor with cheap,
thin carpets"
Oh. then can hear his step the sooner.''
SrsGULks FREAK OF A SonxAxBullsr.-Last week.