Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1858-10-27
Fact, Fancy and Fun.

Did we not fatter ourselves, the
tiatte'y of others would not hurt us.
-Endeavor to have come'v
grace in holding thy peace, and live
~ force in speaking.
How is it known that there ves
swearing in the garden or Elem?
because sn apple damned the first
pair.
There is not heart but has its
moments oflonging, vesrning for some
thing better, nob!cr, holier than i, knows
now.
Habit is everything. It either
makes or breaks man. IF they are
good, he goes s,arwardS ; if bad, mud
wards.
The best way to discipline one's
heart against 'candal, is to believe all
stories to be false, which ought not to
be true.
Hurry and Cunning are the two
apprentices OF Despatch and Skill; but
neither Of them ever learn their mas
ter's trade.
Al Irish student being asked what
was meant By posthunous works. re.
pned, They are such works as a man
writes after he is dead"
Lord B ron once said, "You nev.
er know mars temper until yo,, have
been Oh board of ship with him, OF a
WoAan's until You have married her.''
The arms of pretty girl. wound
tlght around your neck, has been dis
covered to be al infallible remedy in
case # sore throat. Il beats pepper
tea all hollow.
"A friend Of ours has invented g
capital way to prevent the smell Of
cooking III house. 1t is TO have moth
ing for breakfast and warm it over for
dinner and supper.
An old settler ont West, who was
elected justice of the Peace, couldn't
raise enough to pay an officer for swear
l llg him ii; so he stood up beforea look
ms-gl lass and qualified himself
A London witness having told the
magistrate that he was penman, was
a KID IN what part Of literature he
welded his pen, and he replied that
he penned sheep in SmithfielG market.
There are many women who aban-
9on Their OPINION the moment their hEs-
bands adopt it. Even in church the
women sing an octave higher than the
men, III order not to agree with them
IN anything.
Ar Irishman who had lust landed.
said, the frst biz Of meat he ever eat
in this counthry was roasted potato
boiled Yesterday, And if We don,t he,
Iieve ne, I can show i. to ye, for l have
it in my pocket"
% 70 roos.,,, ,,.h 600 ,,,o,. 80,
few nJo,,,a ~.hn % ,rs "y rsale,ah1a ,nr E''" so ~
agreeable in c"nv rxation is, that there
j. scar e anybody who does not think
more OF what he has to say, that Of an
swcring what is said to him.
f,c. 4;o,o l... o1..1 .el.
,,a ,,n,tn r.I,, W '1,n1 J''1 r, y" "a,
FL Ll(.. ,3l.1 ,r' - ~ '''S' do
wb.t M pD2s nr11,eI eiNra ne '''t. ..,Th3, T9'ns
said the other s:hncans. one sold The
nails and the other nailed the soIps,
oihee u zen was piahJed thefe
c"'"d oe no FAraoise TO compare with
"ila' inIght oe made by following tins
a'vice:-'Aeep your store OF smiles
ana Your klndeSt thoughts st home;
world those Al i.Cil
70 spare.
-GrAndpa, did you know that the
United States have been IN the habit
o. encouraging and acknowledging
torres"
"CeFtaln!y not; what kind oftorles?"
"Ierrl-tores. Now give me some
peanuts or III catch the measles and
MAKE you pay Tor 'un."
Paddy i of,an ncat;cauv n,,;.o
On nickin.r IN onl rltnr,;nG laIv,s
Parasol, whicj, had been blown out Of
her hand, Il gallant lrishnan said -
Faith, Miss, an if ye vas as strong
as yer hanIS1m2, be jabers, hurrl-
cane couldn't have snatchod 1t from
ye.