Western Reserve chronicle. [volume] (Warren, Ohio) 1855-1921, 1858-06-23
Mr.. BLTFKINS' BABY.


The first baby was great institution.
As soon as he came into this "breathing
world" as the late w. SHAKESPEARE has
it, he took comm md in our house.
Everything was subservient TO him
The baby was the balance wheel that
regulated every thing. He regulated
the temperature, he regulated the food,
he regulated the time, he regulated the
servants, he regulated me. For the first
six months of that precious existence, she
woke me upon an average six times q
night. "Mr. Blifkins," says my wife,
bring that light here, do, the baby looks
strangely--l'm so afraid it will have q
fit!' Of course the lamp was brought,
and Of course the baby lay sucking his
fist, like little white bear, as he was
"Mr. Blifkins," said my wife, 81 think
| feel a draught Of air. | wish you
would get up and see if the window is moi
open a lit,le, because baby might gel
sick. Nothing was the matter with the
window as | knew very well. 'Mr
Blifkins, said my wife, Just as | was
going 10 sleep again, shat lamp IS you
have placed it, shines directly in baby :
eyes. Strange that you have no more
consideration | arranged the light anu
went 10 bed again. Just as | was drop
ping to sleep again, MIR. Biifkius' said
my wife did you think 10 buy that broom
to day for the baby?' Ny dear said !,
will you DO me the injustice to suppose
that could overlook matter so essen
tial 10 the comfort of that inestimable
child?' She upologised very handsomely,
but made her anxiety the scapegoat.
forgave her, and without saying a word
more TO her, addre sed myself to sleep.
'Mr. Blifkins,' said my wife, shaking me,
you must not snore so, YOU will wake the
baby jest so-jest So said I, half
asleep, thinking l was Soloa Shingle-
'Mr. Blifkins,' said my wife, will you
get up and hand me the warm Cruel from
the nurse lamp for baby?' The dear child
if it wasn't for his mother | don't know
what he would do. How can you sleeT
50, Mr.. Blilkins?' 1 suspect, my dear,
that it is because I am tired 20, it's
very well for you men to talk about
being tired said my wife, / don't know
what you'd say, if you had to toi! and
drudge like poor woman with baby.
tried to soothe her by telling her that she
had no patience at all and got up for the
posse.
Having aided in answering the baby's
requirements, | stepped into bed again,
with the hope of sleeping. Mr.. Blifkins,
said my wife, l made her no answer
'Mr. Blifkins,' said she in louder key.
/ said nothing. oh dearP said that esti-
mable woman, in great apparent anguish,
'how can a man who has arrived at the
honor Of having a live baby of his own,
sleep, when he dJn'l know that the dear
creature will live till morning? | re-
mained silent, and, after while, deem
ing that Mrs. Blifkins had gone to sleep,
stretched my limbs for repose. How
long | slept don't know, but was
awakened by furious iab in the forehead
by some sharp instrument. | started up,
and Mrs. Blifkins was sitting up in the
bed, adjusting some portion Of the baby s
dress. She had, in state of mi.somnol-
ence, mistaken my head for the pillow,
which she cust7mlrily used for n noctur-
MI pincushioa. protested against such
treatment in rouni terms, pointing to
several perfIralions in my forehead
She told me should willingly bear such
trifing things for the baby. | insisted
upon it that didn't- think my duty as a
parent to that young immortal, required
the surrender of my forehead for a pin
cushion. This was one Of the many
nights passed. in this way. The truth
was that baby was what ever other mans
first baby is. au auiocrat-absolute and
unlimited. 1t is a little exaggerated pic
ture of almost every man experience.