Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1858-04-07
Fact, Fancy and Fun.

When you bury animos;.y, don.
set q stone up over its grave.
You will never have friend, il
you must have one without fault.
Strain the bow and the arrow
swerves; such is the case with the
mind. a.' -
The Vermont Centrsl Railroad
stock has been sold in Boston at one
cent q share.
A fellow caught stealing, excused
himself on the ground that be did the
act in fit of abstraction.
Happiness is perfume that one
cannot shed over another, without .
few drops falling on himself.
One of the toasts drank at a recent
celebration was: "Woman! she re-
qulres no eulogy-she speaks for her
SELF"
The young lady who was "lost in
thought has been found. She wss
''hugging an idea"-it looked like q
man. ..... ~
Punch wrote the following des-
patch for the Queen to send the Presi-
dent: "Mr Buchanan-on earth, peace:
overheard. another piece"
"A young gent in Buffalo, suffering
from too strong sensation of the more
tender feelings, defines his complaint as
an attack Of lassitude.
MANS happiness is said TO hang up
on thread. This must be the thread
that is never at hand to sew on the shirt
button that is always of. naEf
A young lady is charged with
having said, that if . cart-wheel has
nine telloes, it's pity if pretty girl
like her can't have one. .a...'.,~,
As the storm which bruises the
flower noUrishes the tree, so absence.
winch starres weak affection, strength.
ems strong one. ......-....
Why is arunkard hesitatino to
sign the pledge like q skeptical Hindoop
because he is in doubt whether to give
up the worship Of the Jfg-oraaot.
If we could read the secret history
OF our enemies, we should find in each
mans life sorrow and suffering enough
to dlsarm all our hostility. ~
1t is not wisdom but ienoranc,
that teaches man presumtion. Genius
may be sometimes arrogant, but moth.
ing is SO ditfident as knowledge.
-"lhave gone into the silk business -"
said young man to his neighbour
80 supposed" replied the other, "as
l saw you reeling home last night"
Over what earthly and heavenly
thing does a rainy day exercise the
same infuence? The sun and your
boots; for it takes the shine out of them
both. ri
A GOOD ToAsT.-"Here's to the
man who swears, steals and lies
swears off from drinking, steals away
from bad company, and lies in an hon
est bed.
An editor in Iowa has become so
hollow from depending upon the nrint.
ing business alone for bread, that he
proposes to sell himself for stoye-pipc
at three cents q foot.
-"What, my friends, is money q,
asked preacher in sermon lately-
'Iwo per cent a month";" said a State
street broker, suddenly awakening
from doze. ~ . .... -
-"Somehow or othcr.'' said Fredor.
lex the Great, "Providence seems to do
the most forthe best disciplined troops"
Il have always noticed" said NAPOLEON.
that Providence favors the heaviest
battalions."
An Ohio politician was boasting.
IN public speech that he would bring
an argument to point as quick as anv
other man. ''Yon can bring a quart
to pint a great deal quicker" replied
a Kentucky editor. e.. .....-
-"How is your husband, dear?
asked one lady Of another. - .s.
W, he's IN very bad, state was
the reply. -
And pray what kind of state is he
IN =, still presisted the other.
''In State Prison.
-'EWhat are you going to give me
for Christmas PRESENT." asked a CAV
dalnsel Of her lover
Il have nothing to give but nv hum
bic self" was the reply.
"The smallest fayors thankfully re-
lady. -:
Tho ",levii'' belonging to the
heeds6urg Herald is sick, and the ed
ltor has to perform multifarious duties.
lie has been stealing office wood for
the past two weeks, from pile of wet
slabs belonging to neighbor, and has
to tend baby night and morning. He
considers this sufficient APOLOGY for
scarcity of matter.
As an illustration of popular ieno.
rance in England, it is stated that a wo-
man IN Sheffield recently astonished
the neighborhood with the assertion
that the Devil was dead. The truth Of
this statement being doubted, the sken.