Keowee courier. [volume] (Pickens Court House, S.C.) 1849-current, 1858-05-15
The Year 2O4O.
JOIN SMITH s YARN.

iHSFo"' ioVhcu uuu iIS ccillnS was raIScu
to an e!icrTiioHs height; whilo through open
doors and passages, | saw room after room,
groaning with thousands of models, until
lit appeared as though was in a wilderness
of machinery. Very soon pert little gen
tleman, with quick black eye, and pursy
body, orrayed in the qucerest costume /
ever saw, came bustling up to me, aud
asked me for my ticket / invoIuftarily
thrust my hand into the depth of my
breeches pocket, and pulling out a card de-
livered it to him. After looking at the
'eardj and then at me, and then at the card
again, he burst out into loud gufIaw, that
made the old Patent Office ring" ..
Why sir" said he, "this is no ticket
1t is the business card of one John Smith,
advertising a patent dog-churn, of which
he here says he is the real inventor, and it
bears date in the year 1840-two hundred
years ago. The churn may be found in
the room marked, Inycutions of the year
1910, but tho man John-Smith we haven't
got. | don't think he is around above
ground just at this time" said the little
man.. chuckling.
g But" said /, "who am Fiji am not
John Smith F? Wcreyou not appointed by
Polk, Secretary OF the Interior, and did
not pnt word in his ear favorable to
you ~
Polk Secretary of the InterioFl
exclaimed hej "apponted by PollS2 Why,
my dear sir, / was apr mted only two years
| ago-not two HUNDRED Chief of the Great
Central Department, as the office is now
called" ,-t p..'Sa.
+ 6 Whilewe were talking, Franklin, Ad-
t-ams, Jefferson and Fulton walked in and
took seats The rather unexpected arrival
of these gentlemen brokesup the comnionts
OF my bpstling iuterrogator, and one of
those pauscs occurred which frequently do,
upon the appearance of strangers Upcic
Ben asked Jefferson if he would not like to
move up to the fire and warm his feet.
Fire y said, / "frcT "Why, Uncle
Ben, there is no fire place now days. -
Stoves and hot air furnaces are all the 70.
This building is warmed by great fur
mace, and two miles of pipe that conduct
the heat to every room in it"
+" Not. by a long way" said my busting
friend-+Ynot by a long way, MIR. John
Smith, This trumpery is all piled away
among the inventions of thc,yeaf that were
Those things belong to the, age of your dog
churn Why, gentlemen, have you never
heard of the Great Southern Hot Air Com
pany, chartered in the year 1860, whose
business it is to, furnish warm irfrom the
South, to persons at the North price to
families three dollars year; all done by'
the gigantic under ground. tunnel, and
branches, worked mt the other end by, an
arr pnmpg Have you never heard of this.
gentlemen !? Here VIC gothic natural heat
! OF the South warmed by the sun none of
your shrinking. eoala and wus gases to corrupt
and destroy it. And then the principle of
reciprocity is kept up for we send back
our cold air in the same way; and so we
keep an equilibrium, for the South are lust
az az strenuous as ever to keep up the equi.
librhri Of theSUnion. Why, gentlemen;
those stoves required constiGt care. As
often as every week it was necessary to re-
plerishetlem witIrwood or coal. No, Mol!
those improvements belonged to the dark
ages"
Bless me - exclaimed Uncle Ben,
fsimpossible !" repeated Fulton.
And so you don't use the old Frank
lin stove any more?'' said Uncle Ben!
g Perhaps" he continued, "a'qniet smile /
playing over his face, as if he intended al
comical sl.ot, f'perhaps you don u use; light 4
nng now-a-days either, and my lightning
rodsof copase belong to the darkages tool p
We have the lightning, and use it t,too,
but only one rod, built by the State, near
ITS, center, whieh,is 80 colossal and powerful
that itprotocts everything around It,"
",And then the little fellow ratified on
about the use of lightning; how itwrote
all over the worla the English language
aihtl I9believethat Uncle Ben, Fulton, a5d
alksethim down as the most rnscrup1lous
liar that they had ever imetwith. 4
~ think," soid uncle Ben, !" that L
could convince myself of the ruth of your
assertion,if / could so to- Boston; but as
my time is very limited I can fiot.'
Send you there IN fiye minutes by the |
watch - answered. The little man; Gor II |
that's too sooD5 in tWehty-fonr hours. +, 1t
requires ''GGTwesf;l laieSa ss So by bsliooa-rv,E
time i've minutes departurs every halfl
hour The magnetic railway train win
takeyou through in four hours, OF Ia the |
old fashioned railroad in twenty four" 4
HWhat, I" said Uncle Ben, SIS Che old
Stage company entirely broken up 20 \ :, !
Don't know what you mean by stages,9'S
said the, little man, 'but / will look for the |
word ia the big diotionaFgt. 81
Neta6,by steamboat, s6id Fultontr ii
p"Steaniboat y repeated tho little man
sgsteamboatl too everlasting sIowz4B0tl
over twenty-five miles aH hour----wcll |
enough for freight, bat passengers cannot
ondoPa than, H., -. 4. tsrssa - - = q 1d II