Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1858-04-24
NJ | S c E L l. A n Y.
TIMOTHY TITCOMBS LETTERS TO
YOUNG WOMEN.
NUMBER FIVE.


You calculate when YOU are married to be
married to the man you love, and no other; vet
there are good many chances that you will be
influenced in your choice by other considera-
tons. But YOU should never think of marrying
a man simply because You love him. You NAV
love a man who has personal habits that will
make you miserable. You may love man so
lazy or SO inefficient that your whole life will be
necessarily continued struggle with poverty
You may love a man who has no adaptation to
you-who is surly and stupid and unrcsponsive: /:
who can give no satisfactory return of your af-
iecton, and who will repulse every dcmonstra-
ton of your fondness. You may love man
who is supremacy selfish When YOU become
bound for life to man, he should be one who
can make you happier than you would be alone.
There are doubtless some instances of love so
noble and so self-sacrfcing that it will welcome
poverty and want, with the object of its desire,
as being far better than riches without it.
will not quarrel with this. | only say that gen.
orally competence Il do not mean wealth. is
necessary to that degree of comfort without
which love fails of its sweetest exercises and
m ost grateful rewards. Love for man is only
one reason why you should marry him. There
may be round dozen of reasons why you should
not.
a woman's heart is very queer thing, on the
whole. 1t falls in love in the most unaccounta-
bic way, with the most unaccOuntablc men. 1t
is a hard thing to reason with, and a much har-
der thing to reason about, yet there are some
things which may be said to those whose judg-
ment is not yet blinded by passion that con
tennis reason. You should marry man to
whom You will be willing to bend, or one whom
| you know you can manage without his knowl-
edge, or with his consent. The instances arc
very rare in which two strong wills can harmo-
nize in close cOmpanionship. They must both
be governed by principle and be mutually for
bearing from principle have seen noble in
stances of this, but not often. The law of ma
ture is that the wife shall bend to the husband
that her will shall at last be subject; yet there
are instances of true affection between man anG
woman when subjection on the part of the man
! becomes the law of nature, the woman's judg
mcnt being the best. and her will the strongest
In these cases, the female mind possesses mas
culinc characteristics and the male mind fcmi
nine characteristics and it is just as proper thai
her mind should govern in these instances al
that the male mind should govern in Others
But there is something unnatural in this, aftel
all-or something, should say, out Of the com
mon order of things. If a woman sincerely be
lieve that there is no man to whose will she car
gladly subordinate her own, let her seek out
feminine man, and make suit for his hand. A
noted female vocalist, whom all of us love, hat
the credit of doing this. He gave up even hi
religion for her, though that may not have cos
him much presume that she governs him,
have yet to learn that the union is not thor
oughly happy one. After all, if the lady wer
a graceful subject of kingly intellect, canno
help thinking that she would be in more nat
ural position, and one in which she would b.
happier than she is now