The Washington union. [volume] (City of Washington [D.C.]) 1857-1859, 1858-08-08
FEMALEt .SOCIETY-rLETTERS TO YOUNG
80 @H.~i- people,

decning CONSERVATIVE inffuenceat TINS moment III
10 Lin that in the trunk on which he sailed ashore
ware number of books, He flies 10 The trunk, and,
in ecstasy OF delight discovers that among them n "a
volume addressed to young He opens IL eagerly,
and fluids the writer to declare that next 70 the Christian
religion there is nothing that will tend strongly to
the elevation and publication of young men no female
society He accordingly seeks the society OF women and
drinks in the marvellous influences OF their presence lie
linda them rnacq TAINTED with Of the most grateful
uses Of water and in evident Ignorance OF the existence
OF ivory combs About whot Of the popular era is
It to I've supposed that he will arrive at desirable state
Of publication and perfection ,f-s4s 5isefF
Now perhaps you do not perceive The force of this
illustration. Let US go At It, then. When you find your
ss shut out from all female society except that which as
bsncsth you that society will do you Just much good
and good than that Of the fair Cannihas. espe
csly IL 1t be young. IT. in all this society you find
old woman Of sixty who bus common sense, genial
good nature. experience, reading and sympathetic
heart cherish her would her weight in gold but
let the young trash 60 You will hear nothing from
them but gossip and and you will only get dis
gusted with the world and yourself Inspiration to high
and purer life always comes from above man; and te
male society only elevate and purify when 1t Is
higher and purer than he is In the element of purity
doubt not that generally superior TO men,
but 1t 10 very largely negative unconscious element,
md has not the power and influence of positive exist
ence. t.. "A ~ n,
Therefore whenever you seek for female society
agency in the elevation Of your tastes the preservation
OF your morals and the improvement Of your mind, seek
for that which is above you do not counsel you to
male society you obliged to In contact with
On tho contrary, you owe such society duty. You
should stimulate IT, infuse life into it, II possible,
and do for It what you would have female society do for
yourself A4qaea 5ft
This matter Of seeking female society above yourself
you should carry still further Never content yourself
with the idea Of having commonplace wife Youwant
who will stimulate you, stir you up keep you mo-
wing show you your weak points and make something
OF you Don't fear that you cannot get such wife.
very well remember the reply which gentleman who
happened to combine the qualities Of wit and common
sense made to young who expressed fear that
certain young lady Of great beauty and attachments
would dismiss him If he should become serious My
friend said the wit infinitely beautiful and ac
complained women than she is have married infinitely
uglier and mcaner than you are And such is the
fact. II you honest and honorable, If your charac-
ter ia spotless If you enterpsng and industrious, II
you have grace and fair degree Of sense, and Ii
you love apprecatngy and truly you marry almost
anybody worth having So, to encourage yourself carry
In your memory the above aphorism reduced to form
something like this Infinitely finer women than
expect to marry have loved and married men in
hnitely meaner than am
The apprehensions of finer and quicker than
those Of With equal early advantages, the woman
II of woman at eighteen than man Ia man at
twentyone After marriage general thing, the wo-
to acquire Now, do not say that this is
necessary that it should be the case but simply state
general fact The is absorbed In family cares
or perhaps deyoes from ten to twenty years the bear
ing and rearing of childTenthe most dgnied delight
fall and honorable Office Of her life. This her
time and In great multitude of instances deprves her
Of intellectual culture.
In the time the is out engaged In business.
He in daily contact with minds stronger and sharp
than his own He grows and natures, and in ten
years from the date of his marriage becomes III reality
man Now If he was SO foolish as to marry wo-
because she had pretty form and face, sweet
eyes, amabe disposition, pleasant temper, or
wealth. he will find that he has passed entirely by his
wife, and that shs is really no more of companion for
.Aim than child would be- Iknow Of but few sadder
nights In this world than that Of mates whom the
- Of years has mis- mated ought to have long
start Of man, and them ten to one the man viii come
out ahead In the race of a long life. *
suppose that in every young mans mind there exist
the hope and expectation OF marriage When young
pretends to mo that he has no wish to marry, and
that he expects to marry always infer one Of Two
things that he lies and is really very anxious for mar
rage that his heart has been polluted by association
with unworthy women. In a thousand we shall
not find three exceptions to this rule. young man
who with any degree Of eanesne declares that he in
tends to marry, conesses to brutal nature or per-
verted morals 4pH hs# t8
=, But how shall good wife be wonf know that men
naturally shrink from the attempt to obtain companions
who their supeors but they will find that really in
tegent women who possess the most desirable qualities,
nre uniformly modest aud hold their charms in modest
estimation. What such women most admire in men is
gallantry not the gallantry of counts and ops but
boldncss courage devotion decision and refined civilty
man bearing wins ten superior where his boots
and brains win If man stand before woman
with respect for himself and fearlessncss Of he his suit Is
half Tho rest may safely BIO left o the parties
most intcrcstc4 Therefore, never be afraid of woman
Women ths most harmless and agreeable creatures
In the world to who shows that he has got man
soul ia him If you have not got tho spirit in you to
como UP to like this yon have not gothat in you
which most pleascs hghsouled woman and you will bt
Obliged to content yourself with tho simple girl who,
aQnet way Il endeavoring TO attract and fsten you
~ But don't be in hurry about the matter Don't gel
into feverish longing for marriage isn't creditabs
10 you. Especially don't imagine that any dsappoint
snt In which takes place before you twenty
years old will be Of any damage to you. Tho truth is
that before man IL twenty five years old he does not
; know what he wants himself So don't be in a hurry
The more Of you become, and the more of manl
nes you become capable of exhibiting in your association
with wonen the better wife you will be able to obtain
and ycar possesson Of the heart and hand Of real
" noble specimen Of her is worth nine hundred and
years possession of sweet creature with twt
ideas In her head and nothing new to say about either
81 them BETTER fifty years Of Europe than cycle O
CsAhay.' SO don't be in hurry, say again. You
iAst want wife now and you have not the slightes
ia ii the kind Of wife you viii want BY and-by. Gt
ibe snalc society II you can find that which will i'm
move you but otherwise. You can spend your tim
~ 6ettsr Yeck the society Of good men That Is oftei
II more accesdbls you than the other and Is through
that essly that you will find your way to good ferhal
society, " 1905 i4
any are disposed 70 complain Of the Injustice % wo
men Of advice like this and believe that 1t involves
wrong to her reply that not the slightest wrong is in
tended Thorough appreciation Of good woman, on ~
p6xt of young man. is Of his strongest recommen
dAtlons her favor The desire of such man to pos
~ 80 ana associate his life with such gives evi