Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1858-07-19
HOW A DRY JOKER WAS JoKEp,

cences pass before our mental vision, Old rec
objections come crowding upon u.s. and we see
an array Of the " sOld' pass before our mind's 8
eye, In the shape OF the seekers of the mythical
Frank Mclaughlin, the victims of croton oil
and jalap, and for the administration of which
no medical reason existed, and long line of
those who have been humbugged generally
without any specific species of sell. Gale was
ihe prince Ot dry jOkers; he lived, moved, and
had his being through diurnal succession of
sells; indeed, his life was one great sell, CON-
posed Of a conglomeration of the infinitesimal
sells of fifty years duration. Now, Nixby-
Nathan Nixby-was one of Gales truest aud
stauncheSt business acquaintances; but he had
never been introduced into the domestic circle
made glad by the portly presence of Mrs. Gale,
who was somewhat addicted to jealousy The
reason for this lack of acquaintance was that
she lived a secluded life, In one of the little
villages on Long Island, and Nat Nixby lived
in our babel of New York. Well, one day Gale
was hard pushed for an object upon which to
infict practical joke, and in his dilemma he
selected Nat rs his victim.
The manner in which Nat was sold do not
choose particularly to describe; suffice it to say
shat, under the play of Gales exuberant fancy,
Nat made journey to Albany, and insisted
that lady there had sent an amatory epistle,
which he produced. The lady became indig-
nant. called in the aid Of her husband, who lit
orally skinned Mr.. Nat Nixby, who thereafter
his auricular apparatus. This event happened
IN the early spring time, and on a beautiful
day, about a week after Mats return from Al
bany, he met Gale at Sherwoods. The sell was
disclosed by Gale, and heerty laugh was had
over Mats mishap, and at his still bruised fea-
lures, in which he joined; but those present
noticed that he didn laugh an inch below his
chin; indeed, it was generally believed that
Mats mirth was entirely simulated.
Now, old fellow !" said Gale, 60 you don't
hold any malice, do you ?''
Not bit, answered Nat, " and in token
OF amity let US take a smile around"
Which thing they did in the usual manner
tAow did you come to town ?" asked Nat
drove up in a light wagon, replied Gale.
g And when will you return home?
- About six o'clock this evening" responded
Gale
left; but as soon as he was out of eye-shot of
his joker friend repaired to Gray's stable, in
Warren street, where he hired fast horse and
light vehicle, with which he started through a
by-street TO the residence of his friend Gale on
Long Island
On arriving he left his horse and wagon at a
public house, and proceeded to the aforesaid
residence, where he inquired of the servant if
Meoks was at home. On being answered, as
he knew he would, in the negative, he said
This is unfortunate. 1 wanted to pay him
some money. If L could see Mrs. Meeks it
NOulu 90 as well Sne could give me q receipt
in the name of her husband
Mrs. NJ. was frugal and industrious; and al
ways attentive to her husbands interest. As
the last remark fell from the lips of Nat
fine looking matron called from up the stairs
to show the gentleman into the parlor, where
she followed in few minutes. Nat bowed
and said:
81 desired to see Mrs Meeks, madam
Very well, am Mrs Meeks, replied She
Pardon me, madam" said Nat, with q
donbting shake of his head "but this is a
matter OF some importance-the payment of
money; and You are not the lady Mr.. Meeks
introduced to me his wife, last winter"'
"NOt the lady? whatr' shrieked she " do
you mean to tell me that ~
simply tell you, madam replied Nat
with icy imperturbability, that Mr.. Meeks, last
winter, in Broadway, near Leonard street, in
trodueed me to lady whom he called Mrs
Meeks, and you are not the lady"
Indeed W exclaimed Mrs NJ. her eyes
flashing fire " how old was she ?''
"Well, about twenty-five.
twenty-five; and how was she dressed ?'
She wore her hair in ringlets, had diamond
earrings"
Diamond earrings"
- A heavy silk velvet dress, very large gold
brscelets, magnificent watch and chain
Well, go on, she said spitefully
= Silk velvet hat, trimmed with magnificent
lace, and muf and boa.''
Boa" wrenched out the now thoroughly
irate dame; You had better bore your way out
Of this house, sir, mighty quick, or else some
b2dy will have n headache No, sir [ am not
Mrs. Mseks, and want you to leave
Oh, certainly" said Nat, who saw the tall
est kind Of squall brewing, and who had
good reason to fear that the sturdy dame might
launch at his head a conch she'll or some other
OF the heavy ornaments which adorned the
mantle. Nat therefore beat retreat from off
the premises, and placed himself behind stone
fence from which he could command a view of
the Brooklyn turnpike. He did not wait long
before he saw the amiable Gale driving down
the road all unconscious of the ambush Of Nat
The expression upon Gales face was one of the
greatest amiability, and exemplfed that he
was at peace with Z" all the world and the rest
Of mankind -
In brief space Of time Gales steed was
given into the charge OF stable boy and un-
conscious and happy, he entered his domicil
and shut the door. The moment he entered an
attentive ear might have detected the sounds
OF voice in no way mellow or expressive Of
endearment; and In an instant after Gale hur.
rledly came through the door, with amazemept
on his face and a mop in his rear, the wrong
end of which was under the direct and personal
superintendsnce Of lady who was very rcd in
the face and very sturdy in the arms and who
strongly resembled Mrs. Meeks.
The battle had commenced in the passage
way. Gales castor, which had shone in the
rays of the setting sun, as he drove down the
road, was very much bruised and out Of shape;
indeed, it was driven down over his amiabie
physiOgnOmy.
'.Wha! in thunder is out?" yelled Gale.
"Iwenty-f years old, " shrieked the 'nfuri-
ated dame, and bang, Gale caught the mop over
his shoulders. "Corkscrew riDgiets" and punk
he got it in the back, with all the strength
which nature and anger had given to the en-
ragged lady.
"D-n 1t, don I do that"
I.t 1t was no use, he had to take it,
diamond earrings punk Silk velvet
dress Bang. Gold bracelets, whump."
Murder, roared Gale.
watch and chain" she shrieked, and biff
he took il over the head van
'.Muff. bang slump Boa" bang. banr
and down went Gale with a yell of murder
Now fell the blows thick and fast upon the
bruised head, back and face of the prostrate
Joker; while the lady again rehearsed the cat
aogue OF the wearing apparel and jewels of