The emigrant aid journal of Minnesota. [volume] (Nininger City, Minn. Terr. [i.e. Minn.]) 1856-1858, 1858-03-24
Pat Pigeons.

Many years ago, when peace had provoked a partial
influx Of Freuchmen into Ireland, it happened that one
arrived at Kilderhaddy, and sojournsd with . host whose
name was Pat Durham. His 6rst breakfast there had
been discussed much to bis satisfaction, aud it now only
remained to select the materials for dinner from Pats
ample bill Of fare, previous to an intended excursion to
the neighboring islands. Pat was summoned.
tVat you have for dinniere p demanded the French
man.
'Wha havn't 1, your honor returned Pat. why,
there's roast an billed, and stewed an fried, an the
murphies to the back ~ that again an its seldom the
likes iv them grasses 4 Frenchman's mu4zle in his own
c%ounthry,' he added mentally.
sVat you have manger? ? quoth the Frenchman.
'Arrah, be aisy, your honor replied Pat, the divil
resave the taste " NANCY meat is under the same roof
wild ye, barrin the ould she dog, an she's neither here
nor there in attn, you know
sMisericorde = calculated Monsieur, some what dis
composed, and not comprehending the intent Of Pats
phrascology, Manager, | say Manager
You need not be calm a body names in gibrish, for
all that said Pat, an I'll take my Bible oath into
tie bargin, that the sorrow bit of NANCY or meazly
IN t. is under the same thatch wild ye.'
'Diable = cried Monsieur, nearly out of patience,
8 for dinniere, l say dim ere!'
Och, regarding the dinner, is it?' said Pat
{ musha, sure l told your honor all about that long ago.
We've roast, an billed, an stewed, an fried but if you
want to know all the inns and outs iv the business, why
here's the bill and your honor may pick and choose for
the matter w that.
Pat logged out his bill Of fare, which had been pre-
pared for the occasion by bis better half, and the con-
tents of which he was as utterly ignorant of as his
guest, before he had perused them. In fact, it is a mat
ter of speculation, whether the sum total could at any
period have been made out within a circuit Of some
miles-he placed it however before his guest.
RIOS bif 2 enquired the Frenchman, as his eyes
caught the FIRST item.
Thunder an ouns-!' thought Pat, I'm dished now
~altigider intirely-Roast beef, you honor troth, thin,
[ would not recom,nind it, bekase you see its long kill
ed-long enough he added, mentally, seeing as how
bad luck to the taste iv a dead COW stared me in the face
since ould Moileen's leg broke last Christmas
veal - rejoined Monsieur.
Nor that neither said Pat; it's only stink. your
honor-slink, indeed, be continued to himself, for its
not dead yet
Pigeons enumerated the Frenchman, with the true
nasal twang, annulIing the finals.
Och sure that's not in it, cried Pat what the
dickens does he mean at all, at all, wild his ~pushong.'
Pigeons reiterated the guest.
Och bother, your honor, sure it's not game you are
making iv me?' said Pat.
Pigeons rejoined the Frenchman, raising his tone.
by the hockey, l have it, cried Pat, after a vehe-
ment scratching of his carroty te-'a an its myself
that can shut your honor to a hair-the ~pusheens !
Faith its lucky l thought iv it-whilleluh = And he
tation.
1t happened that upon this identical morning Pats
domestic cat had achieved her accouchment the event
of which had been an increase to his family to the ex.
tent Of FIVE fine thriving comely kittens, or ~pusheens, as
Pat would term them in his native parlance One of
those was, in accordance, as be imagined, with his guest
directions, brought to the knife, dismembered, fricasseed,
and, in proper time duly served up for dinner. The
dish proved savoury Monsieur smacked his lips, and
on the ensuing day, 4 repetition of the precious article
was ordered-on the next day an encore-on the next =
de copo; and so on until, the sixth, when Pats 'pus-
heens' were exhausted, be made his appearance before
his guest With an unusually sombre cast Of visage.
pigeons ? sal the Frenchman.
'All gone, your honor returned Pat; an the Dor
row one more in the parish for love or money, barrin
the ould cat, that's been mousin here these four years
come next Pa~trickmas:'
The cat : CALCULATED the Frenohnaan.
What else ? , cried Pat. Il
Cat! re-echoed the Frenchman, with a visible emo
ton of stomach and countenance.
Pat opened his mouth, scratched his head, and looked
aghast. Monsieur stormed, spat, and rsved by turns,
Pat scratched, and scratched again, aud at length an
advertisement took place.
We cannot say precisely whether or not the stomach
pump had been invented before this period, and conse-
quently, whether it was put in requisition on this occa-
sion ; but it is certain, that sounds and symptoms would
have eviRced that such an instrument had been used
ehectuaily upon the interior Of Monsieur Frenchmap
who had been luxur;atipg upon, and did not fail to
recollect, to the last day OF his life, Pat Durkau's
pigeons.