Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1858-02-11
Wamted.-A WIFE.

l wish somebody would make me a
pew Years present of q good wife ~
Here l am, nearly thirty-iTe years old,
and a bachelor yet. I'm sure it is not
my fault. / don't at all relish coming
home at night to q lonely room, and
yawning all the evening over a stupid
book, without a soul to speak to. l
don't fancy d%arning my own stockings
and sewing on my own shirt buttons,
Boarding-house life isn't the greatest
luxury in the world, especially when the
invalid chairs and broken tables in the
establishment are pensioned off in your
room, and tho Biddy uses your hair
brush, and annoints herself with your
miHeJaeurs!
I'd like a rosy wife, and a cheerful
home, as well as anybody. I'd like to
think, at my daily labors down town, of
a pair of bright eyes, looking up and
down the street to see if I'm coming, of
u kettle singing at the fire, and a pair
of slippers put down to warm by hands
that exactly correspond with the bright
eyes.
But I don't know where all the good
wives have gonel 1 have read of them
and heard about them, and [ know they
once existed, but the race is now ex-
tinct. I've examined all the young Ia
dies of my acquaintance, and not n OF
them realizes my idea of what a wife
should be. l want a gentle, loving
companion, to sit at my 6re-side, to
cheer my existence, console my sorrows,
aud share my joys-an economical, do
nestle helpmate, to make a home for
-a h - 7 nOnlA onlp Gn1 Snch {.
person |
Idon't want a wife who goes r%ustline
about in satins and silks-who plays d.
cine!y on the piano, and don't know how
to make a shirt-who can embroi1er OF
velvet and paint in water %colors, and
hasn't the least idea of the ingredient:
q necessary to form an apple pie
l don't want a wife who dances the
Lancers with a hole in the toe eff hel
silk stocking. I don't want a wife who
is too ~"nervous" to see to the affairs o
her household, but who is perfectly ca
pable of fashionable dissipations-wh,
goes into strong Mysteries because
don't engage a box at the opera, ant
shops on Broadway, wasting all my in
come in ''great bargains u and l don
want a wife who reads novels and work
in worsted, with a poodle dog on he
lap, while the meat is burning dowl
stairs, in the kitchen, and the pudding
is baked to acinder!
There's the catalogue of the thing
I don't want, and noW1 will euumerat,
the things | do want.
[ want a neat, stirring little wife
whose nicely fitting dress is made by he
--->n H,1 II .aEN l~-p -
bread. roast a turkey, or cook a beef
steak-who regards a hole in her hus
bands coat as a reflection on her house
wifely character, and who can talk abou
news, and even politics, as we'll as abou
new dresses and new fashions-who i
lady in the kitchen as we'll as in tn
parlor, and who-lOoks upon a husban,
as something nearer and dearer han
mere machine to pay her bills, and hol
her fan and handkerchiefs at parties!
Now, Mr. Editors do you know c
any such woman as this? My femal
acquaintance are all pretty wax do,
creatures, with white, richly ringe
hands and pale faces, who don't kno'
exactly where the kitchen is, and woul
flint away if youImention a wash tub {
frying pan in their presence! They al
very passable drawing DON ornament
but as to ever becoming thrifty, cred
table wives, one might as we'll MARI
the revolving ladies in the windows o
Broadway
Won't somebody give me a bit of &C
vice? Am l to die an old bachelor,
am l to marry a huge crinoline, an il
fnitesimal bonnet, and a pair of yello
kid gloves, with a woman inside of EEL
RALPH REDBLossOM.