Meigs County telegraph. [volume] (Pomeroy [Ohio]) 1848-1859, 1858-09-07
Tit-&its.

ESy-A manufacturing wire-worker in
vites the public to come and see his sim
visible wire fences"
Eg-Why is the letter p. in the alpha
bet, like the most cruel Roman? Because
it is near O-(Eero.)
EI-Nothing is so dangerous as to pre-
tend to fall in love with "a woman-the
reality is sure to follow.
RE-Advice is like snow; the softer it
falls, and the longer it dwells upon, the
deeper it sinks into the mind.
Eg-The quickest way to square the
circle" is to put fashionable dressed wo-
man in an old fashionable box pew.
EF-"You look as though you were be-
side YOURSELF" said a way to fop. who
happened To be standing by donkey.
SINGULAR DIsEAsE.,-A verdant Irish
man, who had lately lost son, on being
asked what the boy died of, made answer:
lie died of Tuesday"
Ey-"Why, it's as plain as two and two
make fouT," said man, in an argument.
..But deny that, loo," said his disputant,
"for and 9 make 22."
Gxs""Old age is coming on me rapidly"
Ms the urchn said when stealing apples
from an old mans garden, and saw the
owner coming, cow-hidc in hand.
E1-Anything that reveals acompromise
with ones pocket is inelegant; as, for in
stancc, Berlin gloves. Naked handed
poverty is Il thousand times preferable
ES-A little girl hearing it said that she
WIS born OH the kings birth day, took no
notice of it ut the time, but in a day or two
after, asked her father if she and the king
were twins.
A PAIR OF TnEM.--TraGtlgar Square
now contains the Statues of two Generals:
Sir Chas. Napier aud DR.. Jenner. The
former WAS a General Officer the latter Il
General Benefactof.
Ep-An Irishman was about TO marry n
Southern girl for her property. "Will
You take this woman for your welded
wiie?" asked the minister. Yes, your
Iivirence, and the nagers too" said Pat.
EsThe editor of Robinson Crusoe wrote
two hundred books and ten pamphlets, and
then died insulvent. This shows how just
is the definition Of an author, us a bencvo-
lent being. who, having nothing in his
pockets. gives away his brains.
E1-"Mr. President" said member of
Il school committee out West, al rise to
ret up, and am not backward to come for
ward III the cause of edication. Had ii
not Teen for edcalion. | might have been
as ignorant as yourself, Mr.. President"
Ey-"Your house is on fire." said n
stranger, rushing into the parlor of sobc:
citizen. "Well, sir" was the answer u
the latter, "to what cause am l indebted
Cor the extraordinary interest which you
take in tie affairs Of my house?"
DIrINITIuNs.-A man who cheats il
measure is q measureless scoundrel. !
he gives short measure in wheat, then h,
is ros cue in grain. If he gives a bad It'll,
TO land, then he is rogue indeed. Ant
if he cheats whenever lie can, then he j,
indeed, in spirit, in grain, ncasureles
scoHldrcl.
EH-A fat man enters the followin:
grievance: Il am II fat man. and rcqulr
room. had 10 travel by diligence from
Macon, in France. l sent the rascal,
garcon from the hotel, to book two place
for me and paid for them. When cam
to the Office TO take my place, found the.
Lad booked one scat for me inside, ant
one out"
AGRICULTURAL SHORTER CATECHIsM.-
What are tiles? A yankee invention fU
draining pockets; SCI called from resem
blanee to the prevailing style Of gentle
mems hats.
What is buckwheal? Masculine whea
The female is called dOsyA.
What is breaking? a Western phras
signifylng n regular SmaSh-up of prairi.
dom.
The present pressure has been so heav
as to bring things generally out West
What are wild oats? \ kind Of grai
usually sown broadcast by farm boys
good food for fast horses.
What is cabbage? A plant popul,
among tiilors with large families.
How are vegetables best preserved
I-hnO them in sellers hands, or bury lhel
III p~ach pits.
What is garden sass? Cultivated in
pcr ineRee.
What fruit pleases garroters? Chol
pears. They are also familiar with Il
art-i choke.
Why are people with corns like certa
vegetables? Because theyare toe-mariy I
Is there a vegetable hen? Yes, the eg
plant.
How can young ladies secure a farm
Fake country gentleman. ."---BoSt'
Post.