The Potter journal. [volume] (Coudersport, Pa.) 1857-1872, 1858-09-02

that knew she was expected.
"Well," continued Westwood, "my
designs upon her heart, which | was go
ing to wiring so numerically did not
meet with very brilliant success. To con-
fess the humiliating truth [ soon fonnd
that [ was torturing myself good deal
more than [ was torturing her. As a
last and desperate resort, what do you
think [ did? Z"
"You probably asked her to ask your
forgiveness"
Not | [ have a will of adamant as
people find, who tear away the amlable
flowers and light soil that cover it; and
she had reached the impenetrable, firm
rock | neither made any advances to-
wards a reconciliation nor invited any
But i'll tell you what [ did do, as final
trial of her heart. [ had for some time,
boen meditating a European tour, and my
interest in her had alone kept me at home.
Some friends of mine were to sail early in
the spring, aud | now resolved to accom-
pany them. | don't know how much
pride and spite there was in the resolu-
tion-probably good deal [ confess
wished to make her sufer-to show her
that she had calculated too much upon
my weakness-that | could be strong and
happy without her. Yet with all this
bitter and vindictive feeling, [ listened to
a very sweet and tender whisper in my
heart which said, "Now if her love speaks
out-now if she says to he one true, kind,
womanly word-she shall 90 with me,
and nothing shall ever take her from me
again :" The thought of what nejqht Be,
if she would but say that word, and of
what mast be, irreyocably, if her pride
held out shook me nightly. But my
resolution was taken: | would trust the
rest to fate
On the day of the last concert, I i'm
parted the secret of my intended journey
to person who, [ felt tolerabIy sure,
would rush at once to Margaret with the
news. Then in the evening, | went for
her; was conscious that my manner to-
wards her was little more tender, or
rather little less coldly courteous, that
night, than it had usually been of late
for my feelings were sottened and | had
never seen her so lovely | had never
before known what treasure was about
to lose. The subject of my voyage was
not mentioned, and if she had heard Of it,
she accepted the fact without the least
visible concern. Her quietness under
the circumstances chilled me-disheart-
ened me quite. | am not one of those
who can give much superhuous love or
cling with unreasonable bliud passion to
an object that yields no affection in re-
turn. A quick and efecyual method of
curing a fancy in persons Of my temper
ament is to teach them that it is not re-
ciprocated. Then it expires like flame
cut off from the air, or plant removed
from the soil. The death struggle, the
uprooting is the painful thing; but when
the heart is thoroughly convinced that its
love is misplaced, it gives up with one
last sigh as big as fate, sheds a few tears,
says prayer or two, thanks God for the
experience, and becomes q wiser, calmer
yes and happier heart than before.
True" | said; "but our hearts are not
thus easily convinced"
GAY, there's the rub 1t is for want
of a true perception. There cannot be a
true love without true perception. Love
is for the soul to know, from its own in
tuition-not for the understanding to be-
lieve, from the testimony of those very
unreliable witnesses, called the eyes and
ears. This seems to have been my case
my soul was aware Of her love, and all
the evidence of my external senses could
not altogether destroy that interior faith
But that evening | said-'I believe you
now, my senses I! | doubt you now. my
soul! She never loved mel" So | was
really very cold towards her-for about
twenty minutes.
walked home with her; we were both
silent; but at the door she asked me to
90 in. Here my caImness deserted me,
and [ could hardly hold my heart, while
| replied,
of you particularly wish It,"
off [ did not, | should not ask you,"
she said and | went in.
| was ashamed and vexed at myself for
trembling so-for | was in tremor from
head to foot. There was company in the
parlors-some of Margarets friends. 1
took my seat upon a sofa, and soon she
oon,o an1 by povr cd,
81 suppose" SAID one, "Mr. Westwood
has been telling Margaret all about it,
"About what?" Margaret inquired
and here the truth flashed upon me-the
news OF my proposed voyage had not yet
reached her She looked at me with
troubled, questioning expression, and
said
81 felt that something was going to
hsnnen Tell mo what II ic -