St. Charles City Republican intelligencer. [volume] (St. Charles City [Charles City], Iowa) 1857-1861, 1858-07-01
Humorous.

Never speak Of yonr father as the " old
man
Never speak contcmptuousIy of woman
kind.
Move for new trial--courting a second
wife
That's flame of mine" as the bellows
said TO the fire.
Bad for the hcad-onc hickory club. or four
whiskcy punches.
Life is now defined us consisting Of money
a horse, and u fashionable wife
When You are whistling in Printing Office
and they say - louder" don't you do it.
The strongest minded woman shrinbs from
being caught in her night-cap.
The hest bite We have had when VIC went
fishing. was the bite we took along,
The man who was filled with emotion,
hadn't room for his dinner
Never hire servants that go in pairs-as sis
tiers, cousins, or anything else.
Why is dogs tail like the bark of tree (!
Because it is farthcst from the bark.
1t is in vain to stick your finger in water,
and after pulling it out look for the hole
Cream may he frozen 10y simply putting it
into a glass vessel and then placing the whole
in an old bachelors bosom.
\ touch of real calamity cures the magma
ry SORROWS Of those who make mountains of
molc-hills.
The saying that " there is more pleasure in
giving than receiving is supposed to apply
chiefly to kicks, medicines, and advice.
That was IA wise niger, who, in speaking of
the happiness of married people, said - Dat
ar ponds altogether how dcy enjoy dcmsclvcs."
One of our finest writer's says that /" the
nightly dews come down upon us like bles-
sings" How very different the daily dues
come down in these hard times.
The oldest piece of furniture is the Multi
plication table. II was constructed more than
two Thousand years ago, and is yet as good as
new.
The girls of northampton have been send
ing bachelor editor IA boquet made of tanzy
and NORWOOD. lie saws he don't care, it's
swceter than matrimony, anyhow.
Did the defendant approach the plaintiff
seriatini" inquired an attorney, in case of
assault and battey. "No, Stree" was the
reply, he went at en- with "a poker"
When was Rome built ?" :" In the night,
sir !" In the night - How do YOU make that
out ;" "Why, sir, you know Rome wasn't
built in day
What is the best line to lead man with
Crino-linc.
And the best line to lead woman with, is
Il Mascu line.
A company has been organized at Nemaha
City, styled the % Nemaha Valley Canal and
Company" We have not heard
what branch of manufacturing this Company
proposes to engage in, hereafter, but at pres
ent their labors are principally confined to
- gas
''Mr P's little daughter came running to
her aunt one day saying, "Aunt Kate, aunt
Kate, little Matte has swallowed button
Seeing her terror her aunt calmly replied,
:. Well, what good will that do herr" Said
The clild, very seriously, Not any good, as |
see, unless she spallo,cs button hole
Z young lady proposes that young men and
women be set up in housekeeping before they
are allowed to be engaged that the young
women shall wash and dust and mend, and
that Il new born infant be procured from the
hospital, and that she have the charge of it
in addition to the rest of her duties. She is
Of opinion that this would 'disenchant' the
young couple
An itinerant phrenologist stopped at rus
tic farm house, the proprietor of which was
busily engaged in threshing. Sir, am
phrenologist Would you like, me to exam
inc the the heads of your children, will do
it cheap" "Well," said the farmer, paus-
ing between the strokes, I" rather guess they