Nashville patriot. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1858-1860, 1858-10-13
Written for ae Nashville Patriot.
AMERICAN CITIES..NO.
NEW YORK.

New York, the largest collection of bricks
and mortar on the American continent, is in
the State of identically the same name 1t
was recently, and probably is now, also in a
state of bankruptcy, having been forced into
the latter by the extravagant rascality of the
men and the rasoally extravaganza of the
women.
New York was founded about the year 1854
by the Dutch, and was afterward knocked
about the ears of the founders by the English,
who held it in their possession until the Dec
laration Of Independence, and Yankee Doc
die Dandy transmogrifed the inhabitants into
Americans and at this day. every man you
meet in the streets of the city is a Yankee,
Doodle, generally written Noodle,) or
dandy. and three thirds of the time he is all
three-with marked predominence of the
dandy. The city is built on the Island OF
Manhattan. which derived its name from the
following circumstance The island was at
one time the abode of the Red Man, Ia race
OF people so called not because they were
particularly red. but because they were not
particularly white,) whose code of fashion
required him TO wear bis hat on peg in his
wigwam. thus differing from the Englishman
of the same period, who wore his hat on bis
wigTwithout thelwam. Hence, when the first
Englishman isIanded on the neck of timber IN
question, the red men, who are called Indians
by some folks exclaimed to one another IN
disgust, mat-Rdh-hdit-tdn ! nai-rldh-td't-tdn e!
oman with a hat on,) and fed to the neigh
boring woods like so many copper-colored
devils, as they were, frightened out of their
moccasins by the singular apparition. Where
upon the English called the island Man-hat-
on to commemorate the amusing incident.
Its founders-not the founders of the island
nor of the incident, but of the city-were
band of wandering Flanders Dutch, who,
having acquired an inveterate habit of pro-
frame swearing from the English army which
invaded their country, called the town. or
settlement, New Amsterd-m, prefXing the
Newamster in cOntradistinction to the old
English d-m, which has made Flanders
classic land in the realm of profanity. The
English, who are by no means proverbial, in
their aggregate or national capacity, for a
rigid adherence to the virtuous principle of
n,e,tn a tuum, happened to stumble upon the
infant city of New Amsterdam one fine day,
while bobbing around in search of something
to steal, and liking the general appearance of
the place, concluded to come in possession
of it." Accordingly. having spit in their
hands and dubbed their muskets they cayed
in the heads of the inhabitants, tore down
the bit of bunting beneath whose folds the
immortal Van Tromp swept the seas, and
gave the lion-rampant to the breeze. That
all traces of the people whose possessions
they had harnessed might be destroyed, the
invaders Immediately knocked the sour kraut
and lager bier shops into a cooked hat. and
changed the name of the place to New York,
in honor of a Miss York, (who must have been
an old maid, or they would have named the
place York dry so,) the daughter of distin-
guishCd English gentleman of that ilk, who
became known to history under the following
remarkable circumstances 1t seems that
London poet offered through the Times daily
journal reward of ESQ. mot fifty pounds of
brains, for it is the opinion of the best au-
thors that he hadn't any to spare,) for word
that would rhyme with porringer; when an in
genious individual of extensive chronological
attainments, thus responded to the offer
through the next number of the same paper
'sThc Duke Of York one daughter had;