The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1858-07-28
Mr.. Blifkins's Baby.

The first baby was great institution.
As soon as he came into this " breathing
world" as the late W. Shakespeare has it,
he took command in our house. Every
thing was subservient to him. The baby
was the balance wheel that regulated
everything. He regulated the tempera-
ture, he regulated the food, he regulated
the servants, he regulated me. For the
first six months of that precious existence,
he had me up on an average six times a
night. "Mr. Blifkins," says my wife,
bring that light here, do; the baby
looks strangely I'm SO afraid it will have
fit !" OF course the lamp was brought,
and of course the baby lay sucking his
fist like little white bear, as he was.
Mr. Blifkins." says my wife, d" l think
feel draught of air 1 wish you would
get up and see if the window is not open
little, because baby might get sick"
Nothing was the matter with the window,
as I knew very well. "Mr. Blifkins,"
says my wife, just as was going to sleep
again. " that lamp, as you have placed it,
shines directly in the baby's eyes-strange
that you have no more consideration" l
arranged the light, and went to be again.
Just as | was dropping to sleep again,
"Mr. Blifkins," said my wife, " did you
think to buy that broma to-day for the
baby ?" "My DEAR" said l, "will you
do me the injustice to believe that could
overlook a matter SO essential to the com
fort of that inestimable child2" She
apolsgized very handsomely, but she made
her anxiety the scapo goat. | forgave
her, and, without saying word more to
her, addressed myself to sleep. Mr..
Blifkins," said my wife, shaking me, "you
must not snore SO you will wake the
baby" "Jest so-jest So" said I, half
asleep, thinking l was Scion Shingls.
=" Mr.. Blifkins," said my wife, "will you
get up and hand me the warm cruel from
the nurse lamp for baby ?"-the dear
child if it warn't for his mother, don't
know what be would do "How can you
sleep SO, Mr. Blifkins ?" al suspect,my
dear" said I, " that it is because / am
tired" "Oh, it's very well for men to
talk about being tired" said my wife u
don't know what you would say if you
had to toll and drudge like poor woman
with a baby" | tried to soothe her by
telling her she had no patience at all, and
got up for the possct. Having aided in
answering the baby's requirements, step
ped into bed again, with the hope of sleep
ing. Mr.. Blifkins," said she, in a
louder key. | said nothing. e" Oh dear ~
said that estimablo woman, in great APP
parent anguish, how can a man, who
has arrived at the honor of live baby OF
his own, sleep, when he don't know that
the dear creature will live till morning 2"
l remained silent, and, after q while,
deeming that Mrs. Blifkins had gone to
sleep. l stretched my limbs for repose.
Hsw long slept l don't know, but was
awakened by a furious jab in the fore
head by some sharp instrument. l started
up, and Mrs. Blifkins was sitting up in
the bed, adjusting some portion of the
baby's dress. She had, in state Of sem
isomnelence, mistaken my head for the
pillow, which she customarily used for a
nocturnal pin-cushion. protested agains,
such treatment in somewhat round terms,
pointing to several preforations in my
forehead. She told me should willingly
bear such triAing things for the sake OF
the baby, insisted upon it that didn't
think my duty as a parent to that young
immortal required the surrender Of my
forehead for pin-cushion. This was one
Of many nights passed in this way. The
truth was, that baby was what every 9th.
er mans first baby is, an autocrat--abso-