Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, Va. [W. Va.]) 1852-1859, 1858-12-01


HooPs AND THEIR WEARERs An English
man has lately written pamphlet entitled
Changers of Grinoline, in which he avows that
this fashion is making lamentable inroads into
the health, morals and happiness of his fair
countrywomen. We cannot agree with this
Englishman's idea of crinoline as conducting TO
i'll health, for assuredly the fashion has essen
TALLY lightened the load of skirts women were
wont to wear, and with proper under garments
the person can be as well protected as hereto.
fore. The pamphlet says:
THE TALL WOMAN
Now look in the opposite direction, and see
that tall lady sailing along in all the amplitude
ofskirt What does she look like? A .Iack-in-
the-green on stills; weeping willow grated on
to poplar; the monument stuck into the dome
of st. PauIs, with the dome doWnwardS; or any
other bizarre conglomeration you can imagine
Onward she comes, against violent gust Of
wind. See how she rocks to and fro, like yes
sci IN storm, keeping her perpendicular posi-
ton with the greatest difficulty, and grasping
hold of the ratings she passes along, to steady
herself on her feet.
| THE FAT wo4AT.
Anon there comes very short lady, to whom
nature has been extremely kind in awarding an
amplitude offgure seldom seen. One would think
that this lady would be satisfied with the amount
of bulk that had been apportoned her. Butno
such thing; with the waywardness and blind
ness which the victims Of lashion are guilty of,
she believes that adding to the evtent of corporal
outline adds charm to the already liberal pos
session boosted of.
TIE THIN WOMAN.
And there comes the exact opposite of
her who has just passed; a thin, very thin lady,
somewhat maliciously called 'scraggy," without
the slightest pretention to figure, and no deyeI-
| OOmeOt worth S0nakinor Of TSa N
observe that the lady is, for purposes best
known to herself, holding her dress several in
chcs from the ground, and us she does SO, dis
plays foot and something more of pair Of
slender, shapeless legs, that contrast most oddly
and unpicturesquely with the surrounding ex-
tent of skirt
| THE STUMPY WOMAN.
See! there is short stumpy woman of about
torty-fve coming down the street. What does
she look like in the distance? Why, her body
resembles pin cushion, and her head pin
stuck in; or a water-butt, with the handle of a
broom peeping out at the top; or an animated
hummlng top; or a locomotive Goblin; or an in
lated sack tied in knot at the mouth, or any
| thing, In fact that can be more ludicrous than
another. Marlt the lady draws near; She evil
IDENTIFY admires herself, and looks downward
with an air of supreme satisfaction. There goes
the precious Crinoline-swiEg, swing, swob,
| swob, first backwards, then forwards, then round
|
tumble of all the movements. A set of little
boys sees my lady coming and began to scent
fun. "Crickey, amt she full blown un, Toni"
"What time does the balloon go up?" "Who's
your COOPER" and several other impertincnt
queries are addressed by these wicked little
boys to the inflated female. Onward she goes,
somewhat crestfallen, it is true, but not quite
converted, and fatters herself with the contcm-
plation of the sensation she will cause when she
reaches the purlieus of the West End.
We must make one more extract from this
pamphlet, begging him who has had occasion
to pass upon the street bevy of fashionable
women, or has been hemrned in by hoops at a
lecture room, to enjoy the portraiture, for such
one can appreciate the drawing. The indig-
nant Englishman-who evidently some day,
has been crowded into the gutter by sweeping
Crlnoline-says:
If we walk along the public highway, we are
frequently compelled to stand on each side, or to
step into the road, to permit it to pass; if we
enter church, we find it monopolizing the
greater part of the pew; if we turn round q cor
ner of the street, it rushes against u.s. and nearly
knocks us off our Equilibrium; if we ascend a
flight of stairs, it descends like an avalanch
| upon us,-so that we are compelled either to
retriet into the landing, or fall backwards on
the mat; if we visit the theatre it surges before,
behind, and on either side of US, so that we
cannot see or hear nything of what is performed
on the stage, and are well nigh suffocatcd into
the bargain.
Old women trembling on the verge of the
grave eashrine their decrepit bones within it;
young children, not long released from the
trammels of swadding clothes, jerk their little
forms about in it; ugly women, pretty women,
dark women, fair women, are all under the dia.
bolcal influence of Crinoline.
--&SNDsS--
The reporter of Noah's Times and Messenger
is clearly fascinated with the little Piccolomini.
He cant express himself by upwards of consid-
cradle For instance, read this:
She must have been princess; whether the
passport is all right or not, don't know; whetll-
er the Clementnis are related to the Piccolomi-
mis- or not, don't care, butthis little Maria is
princess by nature. She has a passport that is
quite as good here MS in Sena; and people un-
derstand it, too, who never studied Italian, any
more than she has English. Apropos: You
should hear her speak English, or try to- That
tiny little mouth gets the words stuck so full of
consonants, and she laughs merrilv at her own
mistakes One morning she had been practising
some difficult passage in the "Figila del Reggi-
mento," and run up to the piano, to try it again
She repeated the strain several times till it was
perfect and then turned to me with the air of a
lconoueror and exclaimed in very ,,rnDopncad