The Bedford gazette. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1805-current, 1858-12-10

mo, can't stop,' said the Yankee who
was heavily loaded, and was fearful that be
would be too late for the cars.
Il would take it as a great favor, besides
paying you," said the druggist
''What you loaded with !' asked the
Yankee.
"Drugs and medicines was The reply.
~ guess III try and get you out, then, for
| am loaded with iombStones." They were
seen travelling together after that.
WuERE THE SHIP TlMBsg Cones FRoy.-
Maine Is thought by mlay to be covered with
forests, and here and there cleared spot where
ciSllizailon has made advances and vet our
ship-5uilders 20 out ofth- State to get nearly
atlthe wood used in construction Of our sh,ps.
The oak comes from Virginia and MARYLAND.
the yellow piHe from Pennsylvania, while the
knees are brought from Canada and the Provin-
ces, leaving very little as the product Of the
Maine foresls-Bgth Times.
Sir WALTER Sco1T on Camp PLsyIyc.-
''To dn5bIr away Iife," saws SIR Walter Scott.
"ln exchanging bits OF painted pasteboard round
green table, tor the Paltrv concern Of a few
shitlings, can only be excused in folly or
superannua,ion. ii is like riding on a ROCKING
horse, where your utmost exertion never carries
you foot forward II is kind of mental
lreadmil where you are perpetnslly climbing,
but where yon can never raise an inch'
a YoUTHFuL MoTHeR.-The official retpr,
Of the Overseers of the Poor, in the town
of Taunton, mentions that Elizabeth Draw
ton was eleven years old on the 24th day of
May, 1893, aud became the mother of Horace
White Drayt0n on the Isl dav of February.
1888 three months and twenty four days be-
fore she vas eleven years Old
0Z~An impatient Welchman calling 10 his
wife, said
Come, como, isn't breakfast ready I've
had nothing since yesterday, and tomorrow
will be the third day -
This IS equal 10 the call Of the stirring houses
wife, who aroused her maid at four O'Clock.
With, 'Come, Bridget, get up Here It's Mon-
day morning; to-morGow's Tuesday, and the
next days "Wednesday the week gone
aud nothing done yet
HOURS OF sLEEr.
Nature requires FIVE,
CuS'ors gives seven
Laziness takes nlne,
And wicksdness eleven
GA lady wishing seat in crowded
hall, handsome gentleman brought char.
"fon are a jev-eIe' said she. 4sOh, no lama
jewelIer; ! have jast ST the jewell
E~''Fa'her wan, you to buy me a gun"
"a gun, Willie, What are you going 10 do
with gun . ''0a, am going 10 fight Tommy
Day; hP says Susy Lake likes him better than
she does me-
C~Sone one inquiries in the name Of Mrs.
Partingion, sWhy can't the Captain of vessel
keep memorandum of the weight OF his an
chor, instead OF weighing II every time he
leaves Pon2'
Ty-HI:teif you, Susan, that will commit
suicide if yon won't have me-" "Well. Thom-
as, as soon as you have given me that proof Of
your affection Twill believe that you love me-
10. A. paper calling itself literary and
advertises that it intends TO swal-
low M everything around it ''iIke great mael-
Strom." We have little doubt that if will
prove great "iake in"
D5-A lady asked noted doctor II he did
not think the small bonnets the ladies' wore had
a tendency 10 produce congestion of the brain.
"Oh no," be replied, ''adies who have brains
won't wear theln.''
Q we think It is an undpniabis truth that tb,
Africans, let them go 10 what pagt Of the world
hey may, retain more unequiVoca!ly than any
oiher people the oior of nationality.
Gy-"Gonn ducking" is the Term used for
i young fellow in Arkansas, who goes to sit UP
with young woman.
Fs4k
sTohn did you'ere bet on horse-race 10
No, but I've seen ny Sister Bel on an old
mare"
Caro- says, ''he besi way to keep good acts
n memory Is to refresh, them wilhznew.
U A great man will neither trample upon
woman, nor cringe before a kick
The gay attire ofthe coxcoz1b makes him A.
eaden raPier ina golden shsath, a cork-leg 10 l..
ik s:ecking.