Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, Va. [W. Va.]) 1852-1859, 1858-08-25

Only those Of good -NoyGz Character Gay
about .Javs..miIlionsl need Apply.-some person
writes to one OF the New York papers, from
Macon, Ga, making suggestion which rather
''takes the rag'-in the line of novelty. If we
had to give an opinion upon the following, it
would be to the effect that it comes most pc
culiarly and appropriately under the head COM
monty known as ''some pumpkins"
Here it is. however:
Queen Victoria's eldest son, the Prince of
Wales, If not already, will soon be wanting
wife, and the United States should offer one other
fair daughters for his bride, the lady that may
be selected to be adopted by Uncle Sam, each
of the States to give a bridal present suitable
for the occasion. Uncle Sam to make up de-
hciencles in fortune, for adowry for the position
that she would occupy. We can supply him
with ms splendid an affair as he could get upon
the top of this globe, and the fact of her being
Uncle Sans daughter is as high rank as any
European Power could boast.
Once upon time. wide Grecian mythology
it is related that certain very naughty body
1--WE believe she was body, though she was a
goddess), took notion to stir up fuss by roll
ling into heaven, right among a whole crowd of
gods and goddessses, golden apple, labelled
and consigned to the best looking goddess of the
assembly. Immediately there arose commo.
tion-three goddesses, Juno, Minerva and We.
nus, by name, being conscious of suffi-
Gent presence of beauty in their faces to war
rant them, each, setting up general grab for
the apple. They couldn't begin to agree. Old
Jupiter himself begged TO be excused from the
petticoat Squabble-(we use petticoat as fig
ure of speech) So they came down on this
vale Of tears with their quarrel, and agreed to
make a referee out of chap who blowed music
on willow whistles and herded sheep in place
called Mt Ida So they got before him, each
one having before hand stu lied that useful
compend advertised in the papers as ''every
man his own lawyer" The party of the first
part camc down very liberal, and offered
him a kingdom for a verdict in her IA.
Vor. (Ehis WINS much more on the 'quid pro
quo" principle than that foolish offer of old
Richards of '.hiy kingdom for horse' The
second party came at the referee very dull m
deed. She offered him all sorts of intellectual
renown, together with considerable military
reputation. But he had no taste for "lernin, :"
and the proposition was no go. Miss Venus,
the third party, she brought the musical shep-
herd down at the first fire-by Offering him the
prettiest woman in the world for his wife. OF
course he caved at the bare mention-who
wouldn'tg But the poor chap paid very dear
for the honor of the decision. The other two,
the disappointed couple, vowed vengeance on
him-and they stuck to him like poverty to
school master, through life. His beautiful wife
Zouave, Ia Miss Blount, and the poor fellow ut
last died CORY death.
As in the plaintiff song of "villikins and his
Dinah, we now come to the nporal-which is,
that the proposition of the Macon man is an alb
surdity. How could the thing be done? "Who
giveth this woman" the preacher would say,
(of course Queen Vic's son would use the SER
vice of the established church,) and who, with
the terrible fate of Paris, the shepherd, before
his eyes, would say do. Old Buck is the on
ly man that ought to have say in the case, and
everybody knows he has holy horror of Grim
dime, and much more so Of crinoline quarrels.
He wouldn't come within forty feet :of any
contestant-essss who might offer. In short, like
Jupiter Tonans, he would throw off on them.
Therefore, for these and divers other reasons,
we again repeat that the "thiqg can't be did"
AsNSPlSAShI AVG" 4OEhI . CITY IuaG Is remark
able chiefly for producing the original spirit
gspPeEs, large number of free lovers-for en-
tertaining variety of Amalgamation Conven-
tons, and being the residence of Fred Douglas,
celebrated the Atlantic Telegraph achievement
byseducing large portion of itself to ashes.
The:ROehester Union of the 18th, says:
Our city has been visited by dreadful ca.
lamity, and large district in one of our bust
ness centres has been laid in ruins by fire..
this morning, thS-devouring element held sway.
The grand total by our figures stands $172, 600,
with total insurance of $1O3, 800. There are
some small losses and assurances which we have
probably omitted. This is by far the most de-
structive fire ever known in this city.
TUE KANSAS ELEcrioN returns, by the tele-
graph this morning, read thus:
Official returns from 26 counties-partial re-
turns from two more-with four counties yet to
hear from, give the following result, viz: Whole
vote, 1880: majority against proposition
English BilO nine thousand sir hundred and
foPI9,,Siobf