Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1858-07-09
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E1- Why was the first day of Adams
life the longest egcr known? Because
it had no Eve
G1~ Why is the first love like pota-
TOT Because il shoots from, the eyes, and
becomes less by poring.
Ngr A man has right to scold bis
wife about the coffee--when he has suAi-
cient grounds.
E4s- Make your company rarity, and
people will value it, Men despise what
they can easily have.
RI What's the use of the eclipse 2"
asked a young lady. ooh, it gives the
sun time for reflection" replied wag.
E1- Jerrold said that young boys who
marry old maids ''gather in the spring
Of life the golden fruits of autumn"
Ey- A good minister prayed feryently
for those Of his congregation who were
100 proud to kneel, and too lazy to stand
RE- A chaplain at a State prison
was asked by friend how his parish
toner's were. "All under conviction,
was tho reply
EFT One reason why the world is not
reformed is because every man is bent on
reforming others, and never thinks of
reforming himself
ES- There is only one objection to
people who "mean well" and that is
they never can spare time to carry out
their meaning
Esr During the session of country
court in the interior, witness was asked
if he was not husbandman, when he
replied, mo, sir, Use not married"
RE- Charles Lamb is reported to have
said "Tho water cure is neither new
nor wonderful, for it is as old as the del
age, which, in my opinion, killed more
shan it cured"
Tg- There are at least two thousand
people, Of both sexes, from other States,
sojourning in Indiana and Illinois, for
she express purpose of getting rid of
their wives and husbands
ES- "Ciassin middle geography, stand
up. What's a pyramid p IA pile of
men in a circus, one Oh top of the other!w
Where is Egypt" "Nhere it alters
was"
rs 4 noted miscr, having relcnted
so much as 70 give beggar a sixpence,
suddenly dying soon after, the attending
physician gave it as his opinion it was
from enlargement Of the hearti
ES- A cotemporary, noticing the mp
pontment of postmaster, says that if
he attends to the mails as well as he does
TO the females, he will make very eff
cient officer.
Gy- Sterne says, in his Koran, II
never drank; cannot do it on equal
terms with others. 1t costs them only
one day, but me three-the first in sin
ming, the second in suffering, and the
third in repenting."
&s- Mother, send for the DOCTOR
"Why, son p ''Cause that man in the
parlor is going to die; he said he would
if sister Jane did not marry him, and
Jane said she would not"
re- jean Paul thus cautions young
girls: 1.-The young men fall on their
knees before you, but remember il is but
as the infantry before the cavalry, that
they may conquer and kill; or, as the
hunter, who, on Bonded knees, takes aim
ut his victim"
GJ- A man living at hotel is like
grapevine in flower pot = movable,
carried around from place to place, dock
ed at the root, and short at the top No
where can man get real root room, and
spread out his branches till they touch
the morning and the evening, but in his
own house.
EI- Bachelors are not so stupid as in
voluntary maidens would have us believe.
One Of the inveserates being asked the
other day, why he did not secure some
fond ones company in his voyage on the
ocean of life, replied. Il would, if was
sure such an ocean would be Pacific"
EE- There is little place in the State
Of Ohio, says the Hancock Courier,
called Barnesvile, which must be pa
radisc for young men. The village, it
is said, has one hundred manageable
young ladies, and sixteen marriageable
young men. What clover these sixteen
fellows are in. :.
ES- When Mrs. Porter was about to
marry DIR. johnson, she told him with
great frankness, that she had once an
uncle who was hanged. The doctor,
with equal candor and courtesy, replied
that it was immaterial to him; for, tho
he had no uncle hanged, many Of his
relatives deserved. hanging.
E9s- a gentleman Of the name of
Pepper had been several times thrown
from spirited young horse, and was re-
lating the circumstance to friend and
at the same time observing that he had
not yet given his horse any name, II
think" replied his friend, you should
euiiii him itcpper-caster.
ES- Every body likes polite children.
Worthy persons pay attention to such,
aud speak we'll of their good manners.
4.