The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1858-08-21

rewards. AdramAtised sessioo Of the 'Oid Curl
,sty shop was the piece Of the evening, and Clara
pigeon, Who u ct least ave fset eight inches niee
she 4 caaled 1rsn.disr in tie doms - e.se;sl
from the effect Of her stature she wore ridiculous
II short skirt, which made Der look like "a over. /
grown ballet girl. To mend matters Master Tom |
Pigeon, who 10 about six inches taller than his I
slater, must needs play Qailp,, And Ia order TO |
Give himself the appearance ot dwarf he bent |
hts le9s and huuched his body 70 such an extent |
that IN the middle Of the piece be vas seixed With
the cramp, and carried on the stage. lie wasn't
N ,sniag dismaiiy, while Miss pitchsr,the teacher
from Minervs House, played airs from the TITO
vators' on the piano,
OF ceurSe, We must have our share at private
tboatri:als, end early In the present year my wHe
performance Oh the night Of the 14th February
vAlentine's Day. a. you know. Igsve way TO her,
~ did in every thiug then, and gave her cheque
into the bargain. The programme was most eiabo-
rate. First, we we're 70 have grand operatic seec'
ton by lady an gentleman executantE accompa-
nyiss, the famous Signor Papadaggi. who was my
wiie's singing master, aud whom would gladly
have paid for his services, tArabeila has-sne nad
raih r., delicious contrallo voice. but Who iusss
ed upon giving his gratutous aid out ofregard tor
CAPTAIN Siyboots, who was 'tickler frea OF 10, he
said After the opera was to come solo on the
basscon By Jack Biuuderboro. who ha friend OF
mine 10 the city. (Biunderbore aud Donbiebarrel,
Tu09tOck makers, n6IulC8u,t auu WhVn tuSsh~eS
ed, after his performance on the bassoou was ever,
to sit In and say not ono word Till supper
time, whom would make IL up to him IN game PIE
and champaign. Jack, who IL one OF the best ma
tured fellows alive, promised at once 70 I2ilow
the bassoou, Clara Pigeon, the Granadier, who Is
awfuIy blue wanted to recite about halfa dozen
pages from Carlyle's Latter day Pamphlets but
put stop to that. ''No infidel doctrines IN my
house, Mrs. s." said ''one might as well have ION
Paine and the Rights of Man, at once" The per
formsnces were to end with an entirely new and
original afrce. written by Ethelred Gnfoop, Esq,
entitled sThe Kiss and the Kick or aTlint to Hus-
bands"
who wore pegtop trousers aud chin tuft, was
clerk 10 the Nose bag and Check string section OF
the Hackney Carriage Department IN the Inland
Revenue ONCE, Somerset House. don't think
that his official duties took up much OF his time.
for be found abundant leisure to write paint
impossible Landscapes on tinted paper, and make
himself agreeable in geuteei society. where, from
his amiabte manners and comic requirements, ne
was highly popular. The rnammas were not very
anxious about him on account of their daughters
one way or the other, for it was generally under
stood that he had hopeless attachment for Mar
chioness, who wrote latin verses aud played the
vioiiuceio, and was thereby condemned TO perpet-
uxl ceiibacy. He was good enough, as have said.
to write the farce of 1.-The KISS aud the Kick for
us and he in virtue Of his ihdubiiity vast the.
atrical experience, appointed stage manager, act
| ing manager, prompter and general director OF our
dramatic entertainments. There wasn't much
plot 10 his farce but there was great deal OF fun
| The poiut on which the piece seemed to turn was
this: that a Chevalier Somebody stole kiss from
| the MARQUIS de Somebody Else, and that the Mar
| quis her injured husband, coming in at the very
nick Of time revenged himself upon the Chevalier
By INJECTING on him violent kick in the skirts OF
his brocaded coat The scene of the piece had
| originally been laid in Eugland-at Camberwel III
| remember riyhtly-and the Chevalier, under the
bams of Prupper, was to have worn q grass
green coat with brass basket buttons, white hat
spsckIed stockings, aud naukeen inexpressibles;
| bat as the ladies thought that hoops and powder
| would look pretty--they had seen Mr Harley and
Mss Leclercq in "A Game at Ro;nps' at the Prin-
| cesss-and as the gentlemen had no objection to
| bag wigs and swords (though some weFeslightly
timorous about the effect OF shorts and Silk stock
ngs till padding was suggested by the artful Capt.
Syboots) the venIe was changed TO Versailles,
aud the Kick supposed to be inflicted for the
| kiss given in the paimy days OF Louis the FIT
tenth. Now as malignant fate would have 1t,
Guffoon, who had the distribution of the parts.
cast me-that was the termed he used-for the
Marquis, Arabella for the Marchiouess, and Cdpt.
| Nyboots TIE CAeralier. / WINGED q good deal at
this; for though no sensible husband ought to
have any objection to his pretty wife being kissed
(in fun by an intimate friend-don't we do it all
| rou nd in our game of forfeits at Christmas? L
could not bear the idea of Captain Sly boots NOUS
| tached lips touching my Arabeila's cheek of
| course he was only to kiss her cheek. remons-
| trated with my wife; privately entreated Guffoon
to change the Casts offered time after time, to
| change parts with Slyboois, Offering TO let him
| kick me with spurs if he choose but all to 10
| avail. Everybody, friends included declared that
was ont for the Marquis; aud at last, for fear
of seeming to be Jealous aud consequently rdicu-
ions, consented to waive my objection "But
| what kick will give him." thought to myself
| '.on the night of the performance, to be sure"
| Would You believe it, that on the very first 70
hearsal Of the farce Captain SlybOots cooliy told
| me- that of course he should kiss Arabeiia! /
poin ed out to him that such proceeding at this
i iy i0tll ind huft pbnlx
unbecessary-that kiss was au operation that
| needed no rehearsng--and that both kissing and
| kicking could be postponed till the grand night
| But my objections were scarcely uttered before
there arose from the audience QOr We had large
audience at all the Tehearsas) such a Babel Ut
laughter and remoustrance that l was almost
stunned. II ought TO know BETTER Il was pay
| lug bad compliment to my wife," ''Of course
Captain Slyboots must kiss her. and the like
| Even old Lady Fang shook her snuff box at me and
said, Fife, fie jealous mani" Son,e of them called
1 me Bluebeard: aud Miss Grenadier Pigeon quoted
| the lines about the green eyed monster Miss
| Almond lumber told me plainly that ought to
| be ashamed of myself aud my wife evinced such
| unmistskeable signs Of beginning to cry that
| bowed my head and submitted. kiss her, Cap
| tain" said 10 faint voice. Somehow that kiss
| took long time TO rehearse; but when really
heard good sounding smack rushed ON to the
| stage he carpet Of the back drawing room mean
| -au" vas about to assuage my wraths in kicks-in
| kic n.'nd, not in a Kick, when Ethelred Guffoon
| H., A..
| Bile audience of women in the front drawing room
there cry OF No! no. mol not till The night
not till tie nightF Again did old Lady Fang
| shake her sknuff box at me- This time she
| called ime-"cruel, spiteful man, to want to
kick dear Captain Slyboots more than once"-
Again did Arabella show symptoms of tears, aud
| again Ikea hound as was, did bow my head,
| aud to my sh me aud sorrow submit. So Captain
SiybooIs kissed Mrs. Symes, and wasn't allowed
to kick him. Alaloo, vengeancei $40
My friends, this martyrdom went on for nearly
month. We had rehearsal almost every day,
sometimes twice day. The instant L came back
from Broad Street Buildings-and livery frequent.
y missed going altogether, leaving my clerks,
Cartooch aud Squibber, Junior, in scbarge-they
sure to call the farce and Mrs. s. went
through her part, aud didn't go through mine,
aud Captain Slyboots did nothing but laugh and
twirl pirouettes upon his military heels.
But on the 9th of February walked-walked,
sr--down to Toeser, NY boosmaker, 10 Jermyn
Street, st. James's. stt.9 = sGtt
'.Tosssr.a asked darkly, .'are pointed toes worn
now2" % ,t..e.H
.Rounds 10 the most fash nabe,n answered that
tradesmau ethoueh squares il preferred by country
members and agricultural docks, a. doesn't give
no return back rents but takes IT out IN taking
the chair at the farmers ordinary. .TurnuPs is
low, beiu' mostly worn by city gents and nirish
barristers" had always passed as West End
swell with Toeser.
..Make me-" said sternly and gloomily, ga pair
of the best Weiingtons-the strongest leather,
mind but they must be yarnished and cut as they
are in this coiored print of tbs Duke de Richelieu
which will leave with you; let the toes be of the
sbarpest and hardest You can make. Let there be
dcubIe soles and iron heeIs' (for thought that
the affair might end seriously, and that it was as
we'll TO be prepared with means for stamping on
my enemy '"and let INC have them home WITHOUT
fail, by this day week. You understand" Toeser
bowed and sniffed at an unfinished boot, his usuaj
mode Of expressing his acquescence in the wishes
of y Customer, and iefs the shop with iightened
heart.