Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1858-07-20
M L SCELL A n Y
Scat Again.

We stated long time ago, that there would
be trouble some moonlight night among the
cats that congregate on the long shed in the
rear of our dwelling. We gave notice that we
had wasted more wood on them than we could
spare--that we had used up all the brickbats
that we could lay our hands on-that we had
thrown away something less than ton of coal
and had smashed a window on the opposite
block. All this proving of no avail, we said We
had got doubled barrelled gun, and percussion
caps, and powder and shot, and some morning
after moonlight night, somebody's cat wouldn't
come home to breakfast, or if it did it would be
troubled with the dumps. We gave fair notice
of our grievances, and what we intended to do
about them.
Well the moon came up on Monday night,
with her great round face, and went walking up
the sky with queenly step throwing her light
like q mantle of brightness over the whole
earth | We love the calm OF moonlight night,
in the still Spring time, and the cats OF our part
Of the town love it too; for they come from ev.
ery Quarter--trom sheds around the National
Garden-from the kitchen and the stables
creeping stealthily and softly along the sheds,
and clamberiDg up the boards that lean up d
gainst the out. buildings they set themselves
down, more or less in their old trysting place
right opposite our chamber window. 10 all this
we had, in the abstract, no objection. Ii cat
wishes to take quiet walk by moonlight-if he
chooses to 60 out for his pleasure or his profit,
it is no particular business of ours, and we
haven't word to say. Cats have rights, and
we have no disposition to interfere with them.
But they must keep the peace. They must get
ND no disorderly meetings, no unlawful proceed
ipgs. If they choose to hold convention, they
can do it for all us-but they must go about it
decently aud in order. They must talk matters
over calmly there must be no rioting, no light
ing. They must refrain from the use OF protane
lauguage-they mustn't swear. There's law a.
gainst all this and We warned them long ago
that we would stand no such nonsense. We
said we'd let Drive among them with double
barreled gun loaaed with powder and duck shot,
and we meant it. But those cats didn't believe
we had any gun, or knew how to use it I'VE had.
And one great Maltese with eyes like tea
ulate and tail like Bologna sausage,) grinned
aud sputtered, and spit IN derlsion and detiance
at our threats. Very We'll, said We, "Yery
well, Mr.. Tom Cat, very We'll indeed. On your
head be il, Mr.. Tom Cat. Try it oD, Mr.. ThOm-
rs Cat, and see who will get the worst OF it,"
We said the moon came up on Monday night
with her great rouud face; and all tile little
stars hid themselves us ii ashamed of their twin
kle to the splendor of her superior brightness. S.
We retired, after the baby had been put to sleep
in his crib, and the rumbling OF the carts and
carrjages had ceased in the streets, and the
scream of the 10 o'clock train had died away in
to silence, with quiet conscience, and in con-
tidence that we should find that repose to which
one who has wronged no man during the day Is
justly entitled.
1t may have been II o'clock, possibly mid
night when we were awakened from pleasant
slumber by babel OF unearthly sounds III the
rear of our chamber. We knew what those un-
earthly sounds meant-they have cost fuel e.
nougb to have lasted Us a week. We raised
the window, and there, as Of old, right opposite
us on the north end of that long shed, was an as
semblage of all the cats IN our part OF the town.
We won't be precise as to numbers, but 1t is
our honest belief that there were less than 3OO
of them aud one among them all was silent,
we didn't succeed in dicovering which one it
was. There was that same old Maltese, with
his great saucer eyes and sausage tail; and over
against him sat a monstrous brindle; and off at
his right was an old spotted ratter and on his
left Yves one, black as VOLTS mouth, all but
his eyes which glared with sulphurous and lu-
rid brightness; and dotted all around, over q
space OF thirty feet square, were dozens Of all
sizes and colors--and such growing and splitting
and shrieking and swearing, never before broke,
with hideous discord, the silence of midnight!
We loaded our double-barreled gun, by can
delight, we put plendy of powder aud a hand
full of shot into each barrel. We adjusted the
caps carefully, and stepped out of the window
upon the narrow root upon which it opens
We were then just eighty rods from the cat
convention, and we addressed ourself to the
chairman, Uhe old Maltese) 10 very Distinct
and audible voice, and cried ''S'cat!" He didn't
recognize our right TO the floor, but went right
on wi h the business of the meeting. "S'cat, "
cried we again, more emphalically than before,
but were answered by an extra shrek from the
chairman, and fercer scream from the whole
assembly. "S'cat once" cried we again, as we
brought our gun to a present. "S'cat twice, ="
aud we aimed straight at the chairman, and COW
ering half a dozen others in the range. "S'cat
three times" and we let drive. Bang! went
the right hand barrel-and bang went the left
hand barrel Such scamperiDg and leaping off
of the shed, such running away over the caves
of the outbuildings; over the tops of wood
sheds, was never seen before. The echoes of the
firing had hardly died away when the whole as
sembage was broken up and dispersed.
Thomas" said we the next morning, to the
boy who does chores for us, "There seems to
be u cat asleep on that shed-go up and scare 1t