davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
White Cloud Kansas chief. [volume] (White Cloud, Kan.) 1857-1872, 1858-08-19
How THEY GET DIVORCES IN KANSAS

How THEY GET DIVORCES IN KANSAS
Some three miles from Quindaro, there
resided Teutonic couple, who seemed to
have been lily adapted to each other !;
though their home may have been humble
as cottage, they seemed to have found
no love in it. Wearied with the disap-
pointment which had fallen to their lot,
this Teutonic couple concluded it were
better to have the hymenial knot united.
So last Monday morning early, they came
to Justices Office, and laid their petition
before him. As there is no Legislature
that can divorce them, and moreover.
question in regard to the legality of all
legislative acts in Kansas, all that he
could suggest was to draw up form of
mutual separation, thing of little i'm
portance in the law. Being IN haste to
have the job done, they concluded this
was Just what they were in q1est of. The
document was placed in due form, signed,
etc.. and copy placed in the hands of
each party. The feminine member Of the
dissolved firm handed over the fee, and
then they each set out on their own new
way of life, apparently as happy as two
bids Just freed from a narrow cage. he.
smoking his pipe with the most profound
satisfaction. and her rosy round face
wreathed all over with broad and compla-
cent smiles.-Quinddro Chindopan.
White Cloud Kansas chief. [volume] (White Cloud, Kan.) 1857-1872, 1858-08-19

The ELDER BusH-VALUABLE HIST.-
1t is not known to many persons that the
common elder bush Of our country is
great safeguard to plants against the dew
astation of bugs. If any one will notice.
it will be found that worms, flies, bugsj
or insects never touch the elder. This
fact was the initial point of experiments
of an Englishman in 1894, and he COM
municated the result of his experiments
to a London Magazine. Accident ex-
humed this old work, and Kentucky
correspondent last year communicated TO
the Dollar Newspaper copy of the arti-
Gle. The practical results of the experi-
ments as asserted by the English experi-
mcnter are, that the leaves of the elder
scattered over cababages, cucumbers,
squashes and other plants subject to the
ravages of insects effectually shields them.
The plum and other fruits subject to ths
ravages of insects, may be saved by pla-
cling upon the branches and through the
tree, punches of elder leaves.-PaiDesvizs
Tel.
White Cloud Kansas chief. [volume] (White Cloud, Kan.) 1857-1872, 1858-08-19

BED BUG ExTERMINAToR.- corres-
pondeut Of the Christiln Advocate is an
swerable for the following recipe for de-
stroying bed bugs:
Thoroughly fnmigate every room with
birthstone To do this, first stop the iues
of chimneys, open the doors of closets,
&C.. and so arrange beds and bed clothes
as to leave all the bedsteads completely
uncovered. Next, heat an old pot or
skillet, so that the birthstone will instant
ly blaze when dropped into it. Set
the pot thus heated. on the hearth, or in
any safe place in the room drop into it
three or four Ounces of roll birthstone
leave the room. close the door, and let it
stay closed at least three or four hours.
The smoke Of the burning brimstone win
soon ill the room and every crevice III IT,
and it viii completely exterminate the
bugs"
White Cloud Kansas chief. [volume] (White Cloud, Kan.) 1857-1872, 1858-08-19
CHAPTER IT.

q, The whang doodle was placed upon
In fue hew-gag-but before we go further,
0 ,st US take glance at the political state
u W. america, at the date our story opens.
we were involved in a war with Mexico,
sna Zen. Scott was carrying oEr victo-
nous Tag through the halls Of the Monte
,S Gen. Washington. commanding
su :., home army, had formed a junction
WIN christopher Columbus at Nauvoo,
a. Hna defeated the combined forces of Eng!
, ,sed' France and HindoOstau in a san
SSa any retreat on Bungtown heights
0Oune. Fremont, President Of the United
White Cloud Kansas chief. [volume] (White Cloud, Kan.) 1857-1872, 1858-08-19
CHAPTER III

The whang doodle was placed upon
the hew-gag. Dismay and terror sat tipon
the countenances of the nobility. Lord
De Mozo involuntarily clutched Prince
Blowhusky's coat tail, and the Countess
of Fizfum disappeared Historically within
her hoops, whilst the bold Count de
Scratch, hitherto the bravest of the brave,
threw himself at the foot of the throne,
and elevated one leg as a signal of dis
tress. But the mighty Gengulphus was
unmoved. Drawing golden wired safety
fuse from his bosom, he was in the act of
attaching one end of it to the whang
doodle when-Oh /! Horror of horrors /
He beheld in one corner of the room his
beloved Salleh locked in the arms of Fee
tile Swash Bosky, Envoy Extraordinary
from the Isle of Wight u!
White Cloud Kansas chief. [volume] (White Cloud, Kan.) 1857-1872, 1858-08-19

KErTT OF SOUTH CARoLrSA.-T This
Keitt is funny fellow. He is the source
of a deal of merriment, and causes many
laugh over the land.
There is something in the noted South
Carelinian which invariably provokes a
jest. If he fights. he gets the worst of i'll
Yet he talks over it in such a Boabdil
vein. that every body forgets his cowardice
in his folly. If he speaks, he is so like
Bombastes, that members listen and peo-
pie read, for the very sport Of the thing
OF course, it will not do to speak
lightly of any South Carolinian, and we,
certainly should be the last to do it. But
the idea of losing, Keitt, in Congress, is
so absurd, so preposterous, that be must
be crazy, who would wish it. Is he not
a representative man? Where's another
who would be knocked down and not
know it? Who besides him could be
laughed at, and yet feel fattered =? Why
Falstaffwas not more necessaryto Shaks-
peare than is Keitt to Congress and the
country.-Lear. Times.
White Cloud Kansas chief. [volume] (White Cloud, Kan.) 1857-1872, 1858-08-19

There appears to have been strong
similarity between the manner in which
Santa Anna was captured after the battle
of San Jacinto and that in which Yeh,
the Governor of Canton. was taken dur
ing or after the late bombardment of that
city by the British. Santa Anna climbed
a low tree, and a non.commissioned Off
Ger or common soldier. standing six feet
in his shoes, seized him by the coat tail,
pulled him of his perch, and made him
hobble along to the American camp
Yeh, it appears was climbing over high
wall as nimbly as a fat Chinaman could
be expected to. when his "tail" was seized
by a sturdy British sailor. who hauled
him back and took possession Of him.
White Cloud Kansas chief. [volume] (White Cloud, Kan.) 1857-1872, 1858-08-19

A letter from the late Senator Hender-
son, of Texas, has been published, giving
his reasons for not voting on the Kansas
Conference Bill. 1t is dated Philadelphia,
May Cd, 1858. and addressed to Major
John Marshall" He says:
ION the morning of the day the bill
finally passed, the President sent for me
and made such an earnest and strong dp-
peal to me to vote for tie bill. and aid tn
savin0 his Administration and the Demo
cratic party of the North. as to induce me
TO leave tie Senate Chamber and not vote
at all, as I scould hare fell bound to vots
against the bill if I had voted" =
This is direct and unimpeachable
revelation of the beggarly system of i'm
portunity pursued by the President to Sc
cure the passage of the Conference Bill
and save his Administration from abso-
lutte defeat. He may have avoided defeat,
but he must feel the weight of great
northumberland Commercial.
White Cloud Kansas chief. [volume] (White Cloud, Kan.) 1857-1872, 1858-08-19

Missouri AS VIEWED ABRoAD.-Some
of our Southern exchanges are making a
dreadful outcry over the emancipation
agitation in Missouri. But what of it ?
Should this agitation result in the aboli-
ton of slavery in that State, will it dis
solve the Union ? or reduce the price of
niggers in Virginia T? or wither up the
cotton crop of Georgia? Not bit of
it. The question of slavery or no slavery
is purely State question. At the outset
every State in the Union was Slave
State; but in one after another the States
where slave labor could not be made to
pay, slavery has been abolished /; and
under the same rule, when it is discovered
that free white labor pays better in Mis-
souri, than black slave labor, slavery must
back ont. That is all. Thus, very likely
during the present generation, black slave
labor will be superseded by the over
whelming pressure of free white labor not
only in Missouri, but also in Kentucky,
Virginia, Maryland and Delaware and
against any of these States adopting free
white labor in lieu of slave labor, no le-
gitimate complaint can be made. 1t is
purely a matter Of State policy and State
sovereignty. But while State sovereignty
and the law of dollars and cents have
regulated, and will regulate the metes and
bounds of slave labor, the same law of
the almighty dollar will keep the Union
together, because it pays. Niggers or no
niggers, the Union is secure while it pays.
Let Missouri go ahead and do as she
likes. She cannot change the climate of
South Carolina.-NeW York Herald.
White Cloud Kansas chief. [volume] (White Cloud, Kan.) 1857-1872, 1858-08-19

States, had appointed James Buchanan
Governor of Cape Cod; and Napoleon
Bonaparte, as Mayor of Bunker Hill
assisted by Lieutenant General Barney
O'Twigger, of Ireland, was preparing
for descent upon the tories at Cerro
Gordo. whist DR., Jayne, 0. S. Surgeon,
was constructing strong fort at Cairo,
armed with chain pump and one hun
dred of his Carminative Balsam.
Under these tremendous circumstances,
no wonder the men and women of the
18th century were highly intellectual, and
generally speaking, born when they were
young. Turn we again to our story.
White Cloud Kansas chief. [volume] (White Cloud, Kan.) 1857-1872, 1858-08-19
THE DOOMED MONARCH;
THE FIEND GOLDFISH
BY K. X. BOBTAIL.
CHAPTER I.

1t was night, nowhere, and nowhere
was as dark as bottle Of ink in a barrel
Of pitch at the bottom of a well, and forty
lour thousand times darker than the con-
ce9trated darkness of forty-four Thousand
@elanlghts' when upon throne of petri-
neI turtle soup, stood the mighty Gen
gGipnus' monarch of the Fe Fo Fl Fun
islands, eating a slice of buttered bees
wax, occasionally wetting his lip by
drinking auidical wrought iron sheet an
chors, fuke foremost.
around him stood eighty-two thousand
G'ne hundred and eighty-seven and half
Bring forth the whang doodle and
pace 1t on the hew-g !" exclaimed he
~ terrific voice, at the same time cutting
vi courtier's head with the sharp edge
Oh an Illuminated cotton bale.
White Cloud Kansas chief. [volume] (White Cloud, Kan.) 1857-1872, 1858-08-19

How TO EXAMINE WEhLs.-The fol-
lowing simple mode Of examining q well
to ascertain if It contains any offensive
substances, has been recommended as eff
cient Place a common mirror over
the well. in such a position as to throw
the rays of the sun to the bottom OF the
well, which will be Immediately illu-
minated in such a manner that the
smallest PEBBLES, &C., at the bottom, can
be distinctly seen. The sun is in the best
position for the purpose in the morning
or afternoon. "a
White Cloud Kansas chief. [volume] (White Cloud, Kan.) 1857-1872, 1858-08-19

CURIosTTIEs OF THE HERMITAGg.-A
gentleman who recently visited the Her
mitage, the home of General Jackson,
gives the following account Of some Gu
riosities he saw
Prominent among the curiosities was q
wooden pitcher. II was made of wood
from the elm tree under which William
Penn made the celebrated Indian treaty.
The pitcher was made and presented by
the coopers Of Philadelphia, and, although
it is not larger than a cream Jug, it con-
tains seven hundred and fifty slaves. The
hoops, lid and handle are of silver, the
bottom is a magnifying glass. by looking
through which ono is enabled to see the
joints, which are not visible to the naked
eye.
We will next notice d" Old Hickory. a"
This is double cup-that is, two cups
with one bottom as that when one is
turned up, the other is turned down. 1t
is, as its name implies, of hickory, and,
what is most singular about it, has nat
ural handle. 1t is simply block about
one foot in length, with both ends hollow
ed, and was cut on Long Island, from a
hickory sprout, the parent stem of which
was severed by a cannon ball, in the war
of the Revolution.
The next things we will mention are a
calumet of stone, presented by some In
dian chief; bayonet with large root
grown below New Orleans the cup and
saucer out of which Gen. Washington
drank his last tea and small piece of
candle found in the tent of Lord Corn
wallis when he surrendered to General
Washington. and closed the revolutionary
struggle. The last named article was
given to Gen. Jackson, with the request
that he would light it on each Fourth of
July. Mrs. jackson remarked that they
had failed to do this for several years,
owing to its shortness.
White Cloud Kansas chief. [volume] (White Cloud, Kan.) 1857-1872, 1858-08-19

Mr.. GREEN OF MIssoURI.-Mr. Green
of Missouri, evidently went to the U. S.
Senate with the deliberate purpose OF
playing the bully. He has aspired to the
reputation of fire eater, but only reached
that of BLACKBOARD.
Mr.. Green has had not less than half a
dozen personal difficulties during the
present session of Congress. Indeed,
there has not been in that body a per-
sonal passage that wasn't directly attrib-
uted to his insolence. He grossly insulted
Judge Cameron, the venerable Senator
from Pennsylvania, and, on receiving a
spirited reply, snapped his fingers like a
street bully and said-"I will settle with
him outside of this hall in FIVE minutes,
after our iUeStern fashion"
Now, Green has lived great many
years in Missouri, and been in the midst
of vehement political strifes there, but we
are not aware that anybody ever heard of
his settling a difficulty in our western
fashion," that he talks of so vauntingly
on the floor of the Senate. He never was
suspected in Missouri of being fighting
man. Though violent in politics, he was
thought to be as peaceable personally as
a Quaker, or president of peace soci-
ETY., end we have no doubt, that, when he
gets back to Missouri, he will drop the
tiger and be as quiet as he ever was. He
can hope to pass for terrible fellow only
where he isn't known. OF course we do
not charge him with being coward, for
his insolent and bullying department in
the Senate is our only evidence that he is
one.-Lou. Jour.
White Cloud Kansas chief. [volume] (White Cloud, Kan.) 1857-1872, 1858-08-19
CHAPTERIV.

To say that Gengulphus was angry,
would be but an Indifferent statement of
the truth. He was in rage. He couldn't
contain himself, and consequently boiled
over in torrents that formed puddles of
wrath at his feet. He foamed, raved.
ripped and tcre-stamped, rolled, kicked
and roarod. At last, seizing battering-
ram by the horns, he made furious rush
at the guilty pair.
White Cloud Kansas chief. [volume] (White Cloud, Kan.) 1857-1872, 1858-08-19
Mistfllarreous.
FLORENCE vANE.

BY PHILIP PENDLEToN COOKE.
loved thee long and dearly,
Florence Yane;
Ny lifeh bright dream, and early
Hath come agsin;
fenew, in my fond vision,
Ny hearts dear pain.
My hopes, and thy dersion,
Florence Yane.
The ruin lone and hoafy,
The FUN old,
Where thou didst bark my story,
At even told
That spot-the hues Elysian
Ofsky and plain
Itteasure in my visiUnI
Florence Vans.
Thou vast lovelier than the roses
In their pfime
Thy voice excelled the closes
OF sweetest Rhyme
Thy heart was as river
Without a maiu
WoulJ had loved thee never,
Florence Vane.
But fairsst, coolest wondeTi
Thy glorious clay
Lieth the green sod undef-
Alas the DAY
And it boots not to remember
Thy disdain-
To quicken loves pale embef,
Florence Vane.
The lilies Of the valley
By Young graves weep;
The pansies love to daily
Where maidens sleep:
May their bloom, in beauty vyinsi
Never wane
Where thine earthly part is lying,
Florence Vane!
White Cloud Kansas chief. [volume] (White Cloud, Kan.) 1857-1872, 1858-08-19

A STARTLING QUEsTIoS.-We find in
the Charleston Mercury, the following
recorded as the 18th. regular toast, at the
9Th Of July celebration at WATERFORD /,
S. c.:
"TKe Free States. They have vio-
lated the federal compact in manuuitting
our slaves within their borders; why
should we not retaliate by con6scating
the property of their citizens when found
within our borders.
White Cloud Kansas chief. [volume] (White Cloud, Kan.) 1857-1872, 1858-08-19

How TO EAT An EGc.-By the usual
mode of introducing the salt, Il will not
mix or incorporate with the egg the re-
suit is. you either get quantity Of salt
without egg. or egg without salt. Put in
drop or two of water, tea, coffee, or
other liquid yon may have on the table at
the time. then add the salt and stir. The
result is far more agreeable: the drop Of
liquid is not tasted.
White Cloud Kansas chief. [volume] (White Cloud, Kan.) 1857-1872, 1858-08-19

The editor of the New York Herald is
in for a new party-a peoples party, OF
taxpayers party. He is going to turn all
the roguss out Of Office, and put in honest
men.
Now that is what every party in New
York city proposes to do at every change;
and each party proves to be bigger
rogue than its predecessors. The new
party of which the Herald aspires to be
the grand organ, or mammoth hurdY-
gurdy, is the same of which Henry Clay
said in the year 1850:
"Of ali the bitterest enemies of the un-
fortunate negro. there are none to compare
with Abolitionists,t their pretended friends.
who, like the Centaur of old, mount not
the back Of the horse, but the back Of the
negro, to ride themselves into power"
White Cloud Kansas chief. [volume] (White Cloud, Kan.) 1857-1872, 1858-08-19

The charitable names of the Duke and
Duchess of Sutherland, who took Mrs.
Beecher Stowe and her parti-colored ret
inue so fondly to their bosoms and bah
bled philanthropy so deliciously to her,
while they were starving and casting out
of doors swarms of their own tenantry,
is abundantly known in this country. To
the garlands of applause which Douglas
Jerrold then wreathed about their ducal
coronet, there is yet to be added . flower
or two of praise. We find. in our last
English papers. that his grace has been
mulcted in the sum of E2000 (near Si0,-
000) by the Court of Sessions. on an
action for the defamation Of one Of his
neighbors, of the Established Church.
The Duke appears to have made no de-
fence; so that the libel stood admitted.
White Cloud Kansas chief. [volume] (White Cloud, Kan.) 1857-1872, 1858-08-19
GBpits Qostrp,
THE MISSISSIPPI.
ny BENJAMIN T. CUSHING.


AN, "a, the Mississippi, now
A an, for the brave old stream,
All. ss,b.s away iEith cOwn Of 'prAy'
In the mornings carly beam.
u.L,,s i,,usa fOrtR from the chilly Eofth, So
Mid the forests deep and boar;
Adm DOmp he flows, ike King that goes
To conquer a distant shore.
A, h. rushss along, the waters come
tn mix with his gIiHerins train;
rs.v has. heard the boom Ofhis mighty drum,
And hurr from bill and plain.
,f;,,0,,i ,veeds from the far, far West,
And Ohios pillows play,
A, with hsavins breast and slitlering crest,
She joins in the march away
a son, fOr the brave old river raise!
What changes he hath seen,
Since first he flowed in solitude,
Through valleys fresh aAd green;
Since rainbow-s pauned from Gods own hand,
he dashed along the plain,
To bear his part with lofty heart,
ray-hairsd Hre-ths usin!
Long By his brink so beautiful
No living creature stood,
Save the herded deer that fingered near,
And the dusk Wells howIing btOOd=
Then there came a race from distant place,
To build on the fruitful shore;
Dut their mounds aIsne tell Of hafions gene,
And the story lives more.
Then the sound of war mid the deep woods broke,
And ecbsed ser the feed.
Aad the rivers face boz. the crimson trace,
And blushed with the haes of blood;
For band were here with the bow AMI spear,
And the scalp tuft on their brow;
Their graves ars by-but the free winds sigh:
"Whege are the ehiIszeE asVi"
Gone! gone, then river old and grand!
Gone szs the bold and true;
No more in pride speeds o'eT thy tide,
The warriors light canoe
Their tribes havs fed the Strangers tzead,
As the red leaves sadly fall;
They thrOns thy shore in strength no more
Gone are they, one and all,
The white aaA Iass stead ca thv strand,
He bowed thy stern, dim woods,
And let in light amid the night
oftheir ancient solitudeS-
The wild wolf thea forsoOk his den,
And the white swan left thy spray,
And the eagle wheeled thro' the azure field,
And screamed as he few away
And now uFsE thy meadows green
Ara fields or waving corn,
And cities fair rise through the air,
To hail the glistening morn;
AMI DER thy breast, with W. .athins Oeest,
The lOrdy steamer glides,
And commerce POurs her golden stores
Along thy 'trenbliAs tides"
Flow on, thou river broad and deep!
In pride and glory flow
What thou shalt be no eve shaH see,
That gaLes on thee now.
hundred years, and on cur bierT
We all must crumbling lie;
Yet still thy CLEAN, oh, mighty stream,
viii fash against the sky!
And on thy hanks new cities yet
Ia airy pomp shall grow,
And thousand boats for on that floats
Now in thy stream, shall 60;
And thou shalt glide, with sunny tide,
To grace this beauleebs West,
The fairsaf vein that seeks the main,
Wandering DER her breast
Then song for thee, thou river grand!
Thou sire Of a watery host
We bid thee 60, in thy glorious flow,
Like King through his Empire coast!
Lake Kisg thou art, and in future time,
Like crowned King shalt be
Go On, then go, ia thy m1r.h sublime
Go on to the sounding sea!
White Cloud Kansas chief. [volume] (White Cloud, Kan.) 1857-1872, 1858-08-19

Cure FOR THE BrrE OF MAD Doc
A writer in the National Intelligsncer
says that the spirits of hsrtslidrn is
certain remedy for the bite of mad dog.
The wound. he adds, should be constantly
bathed with it, and three or fodt doses,
diluted, taken inwardly during the day.
The hartshorn decomE oses, chemically,
the virus insinuated into the wound,
Immediately alters and destroys its'dele-
seriousness. The writer, who resided in
Brazil for some time, first tried It for the
bite of scorpion. and found that il re-
moved pain and Inflammation almost in
stantly. subsequently, he tried it for the
bite Of a rattlesnake, with similar success.
At the suggestion Of the writer. an old
friend and physician tried II IN cases Of
hydrophobia, and always with success.
White Cloud Kansas chief. [volume] (White Cloud, Kan.) 1857-1872, 1858-08-19
THE HERMIT.

Foe years, upon a nOantains brow,
A hermit Eved-the Lord knows how
Plain was his dress, and coarse his fare:
He got his food-the Lori knows where.
His prayers were short, his wants were few
He had ffiena-the Lord knows who.
No care OF troable vsxed his iot; Sd.
lie had wish-.the lord Knows what.
At length this aged man did die;
He lefl the world-the Lord knows why.
He's buried in a gloomy den,
And he shall rise-the Lord knows when.
White Cloud Kansas chief. [volume] (White Cloud, Kan.) 1857-1872, 1858-08-19

In Kansas, two weeks ago, Miss Irene
Baker, girl of seventeen. married man
Of seventy-five from admiration of one of
his political speeches. Thus is common
saying yeri6ed-"politics makes strange
bedfellows."
White Cloud Kansas chief. [volume] (White Cloud, Kan.) 1857-1872, 1858-08-19

Some of the telegraph stations in New
foundland are twenty miles from any
habitable place. and the operatives live
in a state Of original simplicity. They
are well posted, however. in the news Of
the day, and know all about prices in the
cotton market.
White Cloud Kansas chief. [volume] (White Cloud, Kan.) 1857-1872, 1858-08-19

The SoUTERN MATRoN.-The South
ern Matron" of the Mount Vernon Asso-
citation, is a Miss Cunningham, native
of South Carolina, and has been an In
valid from infancy. Belle Britain called
on her while at Richmond, and she thu:
speaks of her:
1 found Miss Cunningham confined to
her bed and marvelled to see such
strength coming out of weakness. 1t is
the power of thought, or will, or rather
Of love that creates and controls the world.
There, pale and physically feeble. this
chief apostle of Mount Vernonism has a
patriotic fire in her eye that never fails to
kindle most contagious enthusiasm. But
my sheet is full l must break off in the
middle, and in my next give some fuller
sketches of Richmond, on whose hill
''there lives lass" &c.