, 1858-09-17
NfscelIaUg.

man received o letter, in which were these
words; sNotfndin Brown at HON, delivered
your messy to his VI. The gentleman
called his wife to help him read It. Between
them they picked out all but the "; which
they could not understand. The lady pro
posed calling her chambermaid, because
Betty says she, has the best knack of read
ing bad spelling Of any one know Betty
came and was surprised tina, neither of them
could tell what yfwas. sWhy,' says she,
'W spells wife--what else can it spell 2
And, indeed, Il is much better, as a shorter
method than doubleyos, !, + e, which in real
ity spells dou6iseyey.'
Some years ago poor Irishman applied
at the churchwardens' Office in Manchester
for relief, and, upon some doubt being ex.
pressed as to whether he was proper OBJ
ject for parOchial charity, he enforced his
suit with much earnestness:
sOch, your honor, said he, shure I'd be
siArred % death long since, but for my cat 7
But for what = asked his astonished in
tcrrogator.
NY cat" reioined the Irishman.
Your cat, how soP
'Shure, your honor, | sold her eleven
times for sixpence time, and she was always
at home again before I'd got there meselE'
Two natives lately took lodgings for about
TN days at tavern in York country, Pa,
and Jared sumptuonsly, drinking two or three
bottles Of wine daily. The last day o dis
pute arose about the speed Of their horses,
and they at last agreed to enter on the pro-
fable contest. The landlord was appointed
Judge, each being the rider Of his own horse.
When they were mounted, the Judge, like
those At the Olympic games, gave the word,
oas, fsoo, drse, and Col OF they went and
nsFer have been seen or heard Of since !;
leaving the landlord fully compensated by
having had the honortO be their Judge
lam not yet forty, but am old enough
tohave leif of wearing tight boots. Besides,
have q theory Of my own on this subject
! don't think small, straight, sharp-toed,
squeezed up feet are handsome. They are
not what Nature intended. The fore part
Of he foot should be. wide. The pedestal
constructed 70 bear the magnificent, up
right form Of man should have breadth
auIioient Cor the purpose. The foot Of
Roman or q Greek had more room 10 per-
form is constant and laborious ayocation.
There Is in the modern boot or shoe a SAVIOR
ef Chinese stupidity.
Distinction ssih difference. shave no
objection, aid legeler, that the ranks
below me should Be preserved just as they
are nov, bat wish 10 have none above me I;
and lhis e my notion Of fair and perfect
equality. An instance Of the distinction
ifINonf difference was offered BY the irish
man who. having legs Of different sizes, or.
dercd hls boots 70 be mnde accordingly.
His directions were obeycd but, as he had
tie smallest boot on hia. largest leg, he ex.
claimed, peiulantly; Conlound the fellow
] ordered him 70 make one larger than the
other and, instead Of that, he has made one
smaller lhan he otheri
A certain Irishnah receisod for his labor
one dollar bin On one Of the Ohio Banks, on
which ho was obliged 70 lose ten cents dis
count. TIE next day he was passing down
Main Street. and saw dollar bill lying on
the sidewalk, on The same bank, and eaz.
ing on Il be exclaimed, Bad luck to the likes
cfyh-lh1rs may .yo lie doril finger win
Iput ou ~. lor ! 'lost Ten cents bya brother
81 yourS Yesterday
Lny, Sam spid negro employed IN
carrying up bricks 10 a building, addressing
ohrolhrr darkey, uhose nVocaiion Is man.
ulAcluins ice creams Why does YOU fil-
low such a cold bua'nessl Il tw0dldnt be
genial % my SUDDEN lSollnes.' r'l is
..iNoll. fe is. follow Il, Ben, case YOU
SEQ Tee a Sudden man wid Noriern pink.
Plea % i1Hsr i
Wei. Pat did you present the bill for
payment which gave you this morning .
Ic1. your honor,
Wei, what vas he genfelnans an
EfaslTcs your honor,
Evaai7ei what DO yon meant
Why, your honor, he said he'd be id
Il be yould pay it' e
ALondon star, On entering the treasury Of
the thcaire and demanding The arrears Of
his enormous salary, proprietor thus ad.
dressed him You really. Mr.. Nj. ought
% remember that you have not drawn dur.
ing The whole season.
Very true Hat the reply and there
fore / = high time 70 begin. Icome to draw
now
General Wolfe happening 70 overhear a
young officer talk Of him ia a very familiar
manner, a Wolfe and drank q bottle Of
vine together and 50 on, appeared and said,
'lihink you might 1ay General Wolfa.' sNo,
replied he suballern, with happy presence
ol mind, odd you ever hear Of General
Achilles Or General Julius cesarq
A poll iaz & duty levied on mankind,
for ihe mere privilege Of wearing head.
And as females are not assessed in poll
t.z. they should consider it As an insult to
lie sex, and resent & accordingly. Il Is as
Ir..uh =. ~ -.-. 1I...- 80. ...isl.,,,,f h..1.1