davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1858-04-29

4 WEE COMPRESSED INTO \ RING.-A GER
tain Russian noble. who lately visited Paris,
was noticed to be constantly plunged in deep
sadness lie wore on his finger very re-
markable ring, large enough for bracelet,
ana extended over his hand like bucker for
the ring finger. 1t was OF greensh color
and was traversed by red veins. 1t attracted
the attention Of everybody but no one was
bold enough to nterrogate the mysterious
stranger, until one day lady, meeting him in
public parlor vemtured to say You wear
very handsome ring" The Russian made
movement as though he would conceal his
hand but that feeling gave way to desire to
unburden himself. " 1t is net ring" he an
swered, "but a sepulchre :" A shudder pass
cd through the whole company. This jewel,
madam" he continued, " is my wife. l had
the misfortune to lose her some years since, in
Russia She was an Italian, and dreaded the
icy bed which awaited her after this life. |
carried her remains to Germany where | was
acquainted with a celebrated chemist, whom !
directed to make Of the body solid substance,
which | could always carry about ME. Eight
days afterward he sent for me and showed me
the empty coffin, q horrid collection of nstru-
ments and alembcs. This jewel was lying on
a table He had through means of some cor
rosiye substances aud powerful pressure reduc-
ed and compressed that which was my wife,
into this jewel, which shall never more leave
me"
This burial by chemistry is an Improvement
upon the process of cremation lately proposed
by the French papers. Should it become
popular widow may hereafter have her has
band made into a bracelet with chain attach
ed to remind her Of the hymeneal bond, huS-
band will have his wife done into pin, and
certain academicanS-old fogies-we know
would make very good coat buttons.-Nes0
York Tribune
Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1858-04-29

JUVENILE GUNPTIoN-A farmer in Virginia
who had been digging a we'll, was called away
from home, leaving none but two boys on the
premises. During his absence, favorite horse
by accident got into tie well, which was about
twelve feet deep, and of sufficient diameter to
allow the horse tahding room. The boys set
their young brains to work to get him out
Their bill Of ways and means" was almost
exhausted, when the youngest, only nine years
old, suggested ali amendment which was i'm
medateIy adopted. Large quantities of straw
were convenient which the boys pitched-in to
fill up the well, the prisoner tramping it down,
until he could walk right out upon straw
bail"
Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1858-04-29

BS7~ Some people have a penchaat for mar
ring the finished works Of Nature around them
as if there was too much of them
We have an acquaintance who ike most all
the world, is the proudest of precisely the quail
tiles he does not possess, which in his case,
happen to be- a knowledge of farming and
sound practical sense.
And he has the worst type Of this trimming
mania. He hasn't COW upon his premises
that he has not mutlated he has sawed Off
the horns of one, brought the tail of another
to a premature end" and cut triangular
slice out Of the ears of all of them
He purchases beautiful creatures, but once
within reach of him, they do not remain beau
tiful long. He coverted horse and bought
him finished piece of work he was, and such
name, that rippled down his neck in glossy
waves and how grandly he tossed it ! Job
would have been delighted to look at him
Well, the first thing this poor tailor and trim
mer Of Gods creatures did, was to shear the
horse of the glory Of his name, and now this
perpetrator of mayhem" as the lawyers have
it, regards with great complacency, the briSt-
ling ridge, that looks like a monStrous shoe
brush with horse for a handle.
He had a valuable dog, but he must needs
diveSt him of as fine " a brush" as dog ever
said thank you" with. Not pig in his do
main but has been remorsely cut off" in the
innocence Of pighood We do not believe hewo'd
accept of an estate if it were entailcd, or be a
merchant if the goods must be retailed. Had
he been the Duke of Venice in 0thelO'S time,
the Moor would have " delivered" nothing by
any body's " gracious patience" for the Duke
would have abridged the tale without regard
to mercy or photography
His curtaiing mania was not content with
mutilating the animal kingdom, for he SO brush
ed up and trimmed up the trees in his orchard,
that they looked like so many rows of chuckle,
headed scholars, newly washed and shorn for
holiday. Not an outline of beauty presery-
ed f; not branch to sway gracefully in the
wind.
Could he have had his way, he would have
cut scolIops in the edge of the horizon, or slic-
ed out section as if it were pie
And the secret of the whole matter was,
that his soul was shaped like a quadrant box,
and his ideas were isoSceles triangloS.-B. r.
Taylor.
Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1858-04-29

THE USE OF PoTAsH AND SAND.-No vines
can produce fruit without potash Dyewoods
and all color-given plants owe their vividdyes
to potash. Leguminous plants all require pot
ash Without it we cannot have a mess OF
peas Where it exists in natural state in the
SOIL there we find leguminous plants growing
wild, and in sach places only we find wild
grapes. All the cereals require potash, phos-
phate of magnesia, and silica, which is dis
solvabe in solution Of potash. 1t is this dis
solved sand that forms the hard coat of the
stalks, and gives them strength to stand up
against the blasts of wind and rain while
ripening. 1t is this substance that gives BAN
boos their strength, or the boards grain and
blades of grass their cutting sharpness. No
cereal ever came to perfection in asoiF devoid
of potash, silica, phosphate of lime, carbouic
acid and nitrogen.
Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1858-04-29

DEACON BRIGGs.-Old Deacon Briggs is as
remarkable for his closenesS as was Dickens
man, Barks His name has come to be a
proverb in our region for such an economy as
ever makes a man the subject of ridicule and
contempt. One bitter cold morning few falls
ago, he bade the boys drive together all the
pigs that were to be fattened for the market
into the little yard just at the corner OF the
house A pig was caught by one Of the young
sters the Deacon with a pair OF pincers in
one hand, and a sharp knife in the other, seiz-
ed the unfortunate by the tail, and cut it off
close up So on through the whole herd, leav-
ing not pig with even a stump Of tail
Cort, who worked for his grandfather, stood
by in amazement-his hands in his pockets,
his toes turned in, his old fur hat over his ears,
his body warped into a crescent by the cold,
and his teeth drawing against the outrage
with prodigious clatter. At last he suffered
out
Grandpa What are you cutting off
those tails for 2"
Sober and solemn was Deacon Briggs as he
replied
q You never will be a rich man, for you do
not know what it is to be savin'. You ought
to know, my child, that it takes busAet Of
corn to fc,tten an incl of tail ?'
Cort has gone to the west, and, in the corn
growing bottoms of Michigan, has taken to
the raising of tailless porkers.
Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1858-04-29
5tllst&ll
From Life Ilustrated.l
HOW TO EARN a ME.

lie other evening I came home with an eX-
u ten dollar bill in my pocket-money that
-'4 earned by out-oi hours work. The fact
That I'm clerk in a down town store at a
-e,,y Of $500 per annum, and pretty wife
7. Oa1y to support out Of it.
suppose this income will sound amazingly
.s.' 10 your two aud three thousand dollar
-s--o.derS, but nevertheless we contriye to
sVyr! comfortably upon It. We live on one
w O an unpretendiug little house, for which
= pay SI2O per annum, and Kitty-my wife,
.~A uDderstand-does all her own work, so
a. We lay mp little sum every year. Pve
/. balance of two or three hundred dollars
1e savings bank, the hoard of several
! rtH and it is astonishing how rich feel
~ Rothschild himself isn't circumstance
" o7.l came home with my extra bill, and
.,o ~ 1t triumphantIy to Kitty, who of
..% u. Was delighted with my industry and
Now, my love-" said l, "just add this to
1l,oant at the bank, and with interest at
: s-i OF the year"
@,a|Ith | commenced casting interest
!. aa'caiating in nay brain. Kitty was 81
I. :, a4a rocked the cradle musingly with her
We been thinking, Harry !" she said af-
moments pause, " that since you've got
I 4iFa money we might afford to buy a
~ y ''g This is getting dreadful shabby, my
n !ou must see"
\ .IoHed y dolefully at the rug it was worn
a rr1aooy enough, that was fact
can get beautiful new velvet pattern
/. zen :, dollars, resumed my wife.
@ ", ,1,,e.yet-seyen dollars !" groaned !.
,,,5 " ell then, common tufted rug like this,
j, ,l i, only cost three" said my cautious bet
\, ''" who seeing she couldn't carry her
!, ambitious point, wisely withdrew her
IN r'aa's . more sensible" said I. "Well
u u see about it,"
.la1 3la there's another thing I want" con-
nv ny wife, putting her hand coaxingly
o,lIoaIder, and it's not at all extrava-
'"o' IS It ~ asked. sortening rapidly
Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1858-04-29

The SmDER.-The worst thing about this
poor animal is that it is so thoroughly ugly
In it nature has sacrificed everything to the
formation of the industrial machine necessary
for satisfying its wants. OF circular form,
furnished with eight legs, and eight yigilant
eyes, it astonishes (and disgusts) US by the
of an enormous abdomen. Ignoble
trait in which the inattentive and superficial
observer will see nothing but a type of glut-
tony. Alas ! it is quite the contrary This
abdomen is its workshop its magazine, the
pocket in which the rope maker keeps his stock
but as he fills this pocket with nothing but his
own substances, he can only increase it at his
own expense by means of u rigid sobriety.-
True type of the artisan. IF fast to-day"
he says, | shall, perhaps get something to
eat tomorrow, but if my manufacture be stop
ped, everything is lost, and my stomach will
have to fast forever
Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1858-04-29

PoyERTY AND GENIUs.-The history of those
who, bt their genius and untiring energy have
taken the sting from poverty and won for them
selves place in the catalogue Of illustrious,
must ever be interesting to the son of toll
The greatness Of real worth belongs to such
characters apart from high birth and proudly
swelling titles, from the spIendor of wealth
and station, and frequently without the ad
vantages of early education, the children Of
penury have marched on to honor, patiently
triumphing over the obstacles which impedcd
their progress, The working man may well
glory in the new and noble aristocracy which
his gifted companions at the loom, the pow,
and the anvil have helped TO establish, and be
stimulated by their example to show himself
worthy Of the fraternity to which lie belongs.
Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1858-04-29

HoNoRABLE CoNDITIoNs.-Many years ago
in what is now q fourishing city in New
Hampshire lived stalwart blacksmith, fond
of his pipe and of his joke He was also fond
Of his blooming daughter, whose many graces
and charms had ensnared the affections of a
young printer The couple after season of
billing and cooling, engaged themselves, and
nothing but the consent Of the young lady's
"parent prevented their union. To obtain
this, an interview was arranged, and Typo pre-
pared little speech to astonSh and convince
the old gentleman, who sat enjoying his pipe
in perfect content TYPO diIated upon the
fact of their long friendship, their mutual
attachment their hopes for the future, and
Ike topics, and taking the daughter by the
hand, said" now, sir, ask your permission
to transplant this lovely flower from its parent
bed but his pheelinks' overcame him, he
forgot the remainder of his rhetorical flourish,
blushed, stammered, and finally wound up with
=" from its parent bed into mg olcn." The
father keenly relished the discontinue of the
suitor, and after removing his pipe and blowing
a cloud Of smoke replied We'll, Young
man, don't know as Eve any objection, pro-
cjdcd yazl 1c,H marry lie gal first"
Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1858-04-29

CoRN IL THE EAR-A very clever writer
for Cooley got of good story some time since
about an Irlshman, who being told by his
master to give warm mash" to the black
fillv, endeavored to pour the horse fe cd dow n
the the throat of Phills, the respectable color
ed cook The same literal obedience to or
ders occurred short time since in New
Jersey.
A farmer who had employed o green En-
GRADER, ordered him to give the mule some
corn in the ear. On his coming in the far
mer asked
Well, Pat, did you give the corn ?"
"To be sure did"
" How did you give it ?"
An shure as yez tould, in the ear
" But how much did you give z"
I" Well, yez see the craythur wouldn't stand
still, and kept switching his ears about, so
couldn't git not above isht full in both of its
ears"
Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1858-04-29

"FAsHoNABLE CoNeREsAToS The news
paper reporters pay very equiyocal compli-
ment to this or that preacher, when they tell
us he was listened to 10y a fashionable congre-
CATION Fashion is ali right at the theater or
the opera, or other public assembIages OF a
secular character but the jade ought not to
have anything 20 do in the Temple of the
Most High Think of Paul preaching, to "a
+" fashionable" congregation to Mars Ill.,
or a greater than Paul delivering a sermon on
the mount to numerous and fashionable
audience" True, we have fashionable preach
ers, but it is a question whether their preach
ing would not be followed with better effects
if the " fashion" were taken out of it. Fash
ion is a heartless thing at best,-and heart
leSsness in religion is hypocrisy.
Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1858-04-29

RZ~A Scotch parson was betrayed into
more puns than he meant to make, when he
prayed for the Council and Parliament, that
they might hang together in these trying
times. A countryman standing by, cried
out
Yes, with all my heart, and the sooner
the better it's the prayer Of all good peo-
pie"
But my friends said the parson, " |
don't mean as that fellow does, but l pray
that they may all hang together in accord and
concord
No matter what cord, ," the fellow sang out
again, so il is only strong one"
Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1858-04-29
TOW WANDA:
.,,sAan alorniup, april 90. 1853.
seIetteN 9oetrp.
TFrom the Press.l
WINTER MIN G &.

,,,.5iug meath my heavy footstep
Yields the crispy frosted'snow
r.rarly the north winds blow;
,.,.hsre comes no pleasant murmur
From the quiet glen below.
.,-.r.voicei, the little brooklet
SINGS no more the pleasant tune
That il whispered me in June
md the dry leaves on the branches
Chatter sadly to the moon.
,;,r downward through the valley,
r,inripg wealth of pearly snow
CIopds are blushing in the glow,
,hr phpbus when he parted
DER the hill an hour ago.
T, The s0f'ning shade of twilight
Tgiuk!es now one golden eye
In the calm eternal SKY
IN the cray hills by the river,
Bare and wasted, sleeping lie.
=, and ,rear. the ftfll night-wind
yaaas among the pine-tops high
Walls among the laurels by,
AID, dasI airing Of shelter
Sob, wiki disappointed sigh.
r.-.uf,- on the rustiing branches
Where the trailing wild vine clings,
Shadows softly fold their wings;
-5 a, ta.r.ul OF the darkness,
Nestle close, like living things.
G-.gIng 'm5nr the stUnted fir trees
SEE the thick aiug shadows creep;
slree-s grows the craggy steep
n-..,l with ulackucss, dream the Islands
Where the ley waters siesp.
p1,fr- DER the stately pine-tops.
L9. the youthful queen Of night
Psa>e- in her downward flight
Now paas her Intellectual fires
As she bids the world goodnight.
ua.t'fne in the deep'ning shadows,
Phantom, pour from deep rayine5;
From the coverts Of the pines
From lone hauuts by woodland waters,
BeetGng crags, and caves, and mines.
F.geziagly their cold wings dutter
Bymy creeping, stiTning hair,
Is tleF cltdFe JAe icy III
And see theirmyiad columns
Sweeping DER the furrows bare.
And hear their low, sad whisp'rings,
As pause with list'ning ear;
An. were not the village near,
Hearing such mysterious noises,
should reel, mcthinks, with fear
Ey,ti. Things! we are not strangers
Ibaew you on another shore
Ye have stirred my heart before
Voices, ye are all pervadiug-
Ie are whisp ring eyermore!
Ienune hue has fed the valley
Now the sickle moon is down;
Gl15m.y the snow-clouds frown;
And the larc hills by the river
Into deeper shade have grown.
ilrsHess closes in the landscape;
Once again in march sublime,
Night has clasped the hand Of Time,
All'ae trooping stars in gladness
Sing fullchoired Earth's natal hymn.
.'FASDA, 18th March, 1858. J. n.
Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1858-04-29

RI" Rest satisfied with doing, and leave
others talk of you what they please.
Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1858-04-29

fork of river, has been trying TO spin noun
tain top.
Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1858-04-29

EGy- \ kind hearted wife once waited on
physician to request him to prescribe for her
husbands eyes, which were sore.
Let him wash them said the doctcr,
every morning with brandy"
A few weeks after. the docter, chanccd to
meet the wife
Well, has your husband followed my ad-
vice ~
He has done everything in his power TO
do it, docter but he never could get the bran
dy higher than his mouth"
Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1858-04-29

bp9Hold your jaw, p as the man said when
his head was in the lions mouth
Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1858-04-29

Gar Why is the inside og everything anln
telligibc Because we can't make il out.
Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1858-04-29

AEy~ Good nature, like a glow worm, sheds
light even in dirty places.
Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1858-04-29

psy~" Bob, Harry Smith has one Of the great
est curiosties you ever saw" ... -.t.Et
Don't say so-what is it 7"
F." A tree that never sprouts, and which be-
comes smaller the older it grows"
Well, that is a curiosity. Where did lie
get it ?" r.
g From California" ..
f" What's the uame Of it ~ lt
g Axle-tree 1t once belonged TO a Cali
forna omnibus -
Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1858-04-29

reaT'f' Fou'lI break mv heart, as the oak
said ~ The hatchet
Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1858-04-29

CooUETTE.--A human wasp that tries to
pass itself off for bee
Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1858-04-29

R172" Now, George, Won must divide the
cake honoratly with your brother Charles"
" What is honorable, mother 2"
" It means that YOU must give him the lar
gest piece"
'' Then, mother I'd rather that Charley
should divide itr
Nashville patriot. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1858-1860, 1858-07-24
III. Medical Department.
Session IS5S.9.

TNHE Seventh Annual Course of Lectures in this
= Institution will commence on Monday, the 2d of
November next, and continue until the first of the
ensuing March.
THOMAS JENNINGS, MD, Professor Of Anatomy.
BERRIEN LINDSEY, Md, Professor Of Chemistry and
Pharmacy.
C. X. WINSTON, d. Professor of Matera Me Gica and
Medical Jurisprudence
A. H. BUCHANAN, NJ D.. Professor of Surgical Anato-
my and physiology.
JonN NJ. WATSON, MD, Professor of Obstetrics and
and the Diseases of Woman and Children.
PAUL F. EVE, MD, Professor of Principles and Prac
tice of Surgery.
W. Il BOWLING, Md, Professor of Institutes and
Practice of Medicine.
WILLIAM T. BRIeGs, NJ D., Adjunct Professor and De-
mOnstratOr Of Anatomy.
The Anatomical Rooms will be opened for students
on the first Monday in October, the 5th).
Preliminary Course of Lectures free to all Stu
dents, will be given by the Professors, commencing
also the first Monday of October.
The Tennessee State Hospital, under the direction
of the Faculty, is opento The Glass free Of charge.
a Clinique has been established in connection with
the University at which operations performed and
prescribed for and lectured upon the presence
OF the class.
Amount of Fees for Lectures is SlO5 Matricuiation
fee (pad once only S. Practical Anatomy SO; Grad
uation fee, SIS.
Good boarding can be procured for - to 81 per
week. For further information or Catalogue apply 20
......... W. h. BOWLING, NJ d,
jy23-2m Dean of the Faculty.
Nashville patriot. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1858-1860, 1858-07-24
The Case OF Maj. J. ". DashieiI.

We were much surprised this morning by the
tclegraphic communication that Maj. j. Y.
Dashiell, Paymaster in the United States Ar
my, has been dismissed as IA dafaulter. The
facts in the case are as follows:
Some time during the year 1857, Maj. Dash
iell. while on his way up Indian River, in
Florida. with money TO pay the troops, was
upset in "A skiff, with $4,000. which amount
WAS lost. The facts Ia tlie case were 80 clear
~ proven and SO ably presented by Gen.
Qnitman that Congress passed bill unani
mously for his relief. Another misfortune
overlook the Major. He was robbed by ne
gro buy OF an amount near $4,000, at a hotel
in Florida eome few months after bis first
loss The boy was arrested, and nearly $1,000
OF the MONEY recovered from him. The
Major asked from the Secretary Of War time
to get 60 his home ia Texas. sell property, and
paw over the amount, the Seer, tary being in
possession Of the very best proof that not
oaly was the Major himself worth some $780,
00O bat that his surcties were perfectly res
possible. Maj. Dnshiell did not refuse 10 pay
the amount, but only asked time 10. sell his
property. We have documents in eur pos
sson fully confirming these facts, which We
will refer TO hereafter. Maj. y. is we'll known
In this State. where he resided for many years
AID has large number Of friends. who will
he a. much astoaished as We were at The teie-
grai,hic notice. We ask them To suspend th'ir
opinions until they hear from both SIDES
The Major arrived 10 the city this morning,
on his Way 10 San Anionio.-N- y. Dssia.
Nashville patriot. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1858-1860, 1858-07-24
A Great Medicine for Females

Hundreds &C stimatants have been Invented and
sold purporng be specific IN the various diseases
and drrang efneats which the delicate form of We
reader her subjsct The result Of all these stim
ulants has been to inpart HomeHiary aciriy 70 the
sySt>a, and false ygor 70 the HHscies; bat
this relief has been succeeded by depression and
prostration greater than before; aud the repeated
tempts of invalds 70 bald themselves up by these
false rBseiies have finally ended IN destroying what
Little vital organization len, But in using Bur
hases ISolIaRd lssays,'' yea viii nnd such disas
trous results. 1t = purely vegetable compound,
prepared strictly scientific principles, AFTER the
manner az the eelebraied Holland Professor, Basr-
have. Under rs influence, every acrve and muscle
receives new strength aai vgor. appetite and sleep
return, and finally perfect health. See advertise
ment IN another colamn. y2o-iw
Nashville patriot. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1858-1860, 1858-07-24
SHERIFF,S SALE.

DY virtue OF vendtoni exponas, Ia me directed
ID and delivered from the Honorable Circuit Court
OF Davidson county, Tennessee, at its May Term,
1855 will expose to public sale, TO the highest bid
der, for cash at the Court house yard gate the city
of Nashville, on TUESDAY, THE 3lST DAY OF AU-
GUST, 1858, all the right, title, claim, interest and
tate which Jesse Morris then had, or may have since
In the city Of Nashville, Davidson county bounded as
follows beginning at the North corner Of trGct
OF land Jonathan Rains purchased Of John Nelson
a rock running North with the NOensviIie Turnpike,
forty feet and four inches cedar post thence
east about 800 feet to rock thence South about for
" feet and four inches said Rains line thence
west To the beginning; levied the property of
Jesse Morris to satisfy Judgment rendered in favor
of A. J. Ramsey. L. c. DRAKE,
iy22-td Deputy Sheriff OF Davidson co