Washington telegraph., 1858-07-28


whole length and breadth of the city,
have done nothing all day but rattle up
and down this pavement, throwing as
much dust into my eyes as | do into the
eyes OF the public. I've read over ex-
changes until I'm nearly blind, for some
thing to fill up my paper, and have found
nothing, after all, worth bauble. Won
der what the deuce these editors were
about, that they got up such horribly dull
papers this week I'm as hungry as a
wolf, but before | can take homcward
step, I've four columns of proof to correct,
besides those dull books to review, com
leader to that speech, and that huge let
ter goodness gracious and gracious
goodness, Is my head going to burst
open! There's one man complaining that
he don't get his paper regularly-wants
me TO have it corrected; as if l Was post
master and mail carrier, as well rs edi-
tor. And what's this blo,ched, cruu pied
affair?
'MEEsrEE EDITUR-ples change my
paper to our nu postoliee, as its more han
dy to me than the ole wun, and oblege.
\ Pool
\ Pool! I'll apply to the Legislature
to have your name changed to L F1Ol!
Here's another:
MEssRs. EDIroRs: Permi. 4 friend to
make a suggestion. We like your paper
in this section. We regard it as the stan
dard organ of our party, but there IS an
objection which | frequently hear urged
against 1t there's not enough variety in it.
We like politics, but you know the oh
q iuge You can choke dog on pud-
ding" Many of your subscribers can't
afford to take more than one paper, and
| therefore wish variety. "a hint to the
wise is sufficient"
Lets see what this man, who writes
such a thunder and lightning hand, SAYS
Tor himself:
..ME EDIruE: | take your paper he
cause it is y,aiitjcaf journal, aud | would
/ respectfully say, that / wish to heaven
/ you'd keep stories, poetry, anecdotes, and
| 50 forth. out oT it. When | wish to read
such stuff, III take the New York Ledger,
I the Tribune, the Saturday Evening Post,
or some such eyurern. You mast either
stop publishing suen stuff, or l viii stop
my subscription
Now, how the mischief am I TO please
everybody, Id like 10 know Ry J"pi-
re-. il just please myself, aud let the
everybody .o.to -. Please myself.
/ only wish 1 could. Ia turn my back
on this cditog's sanctum forever and
day" But. microscopes and spectacles
what is this! The letter are RrHr,y as
I large rs pin-poiuts Here, Pete. run
I over to Clarke's with nay compliments,
and ask MIN to lend me his most power
iul ma-uifying glasses. And while he :
gone, III do d ltttle pesiag, If l can find
| q ci.ar,-if not. Il have u use my pee.
! "A pause. during which the editor, af-
/ ter exploring 4 half score Of pockets, finds
1 a cigar, but can't parade a match; ; where
uraa his face is drawn into a beautiful
| puckcr, and he swears. But, no natter
I Pete has arrived with the glasses. and
/ the editor pre- eeeds % read the dainty
epistlc:
"NR. EDIroR: send you 4 story,
which You eau put in your fourth page if
you think it worthy, if not you can put It
IN the crate. FLORA
Here. Pete Go hunt up a CRATE and
put this manuscript in it and here goes
an editorial to inform her that [ have
compiled with her request, for l would
not read it now for anything but match.
| Here's letter from my New York CORES
pendent Hang the fellow mol L
/ wouldn't have him hung either. He
writes a capital letter. l cant dispense
/ with him, but do wish he would study
I pul ctuatiOu and Webster 5 spelling book.
/ I'll wager there isn't half dozen words
spelt correctly in these five pages Of fools
I cap. and he never makes Il stop, but rushs
right ahead, like an engine under full
steam.
] And here's a correspondent, quarreliing
ike Nautippe, because somebody has
\ found out who he is. That comes Of hay-
ing printers who can read and write.
Mercy pom us T.. what time we editors
do have. If | had an enemy that |
wanted to consign to earthly torment, ia
make an editor of him. Here | am, tied
down 70: the summer, to this hot. dusty
city, to dish up news for people who are
pleasure-.;lkins at Saratoga, Cape May or
/ Niagara, or on a visit to the country
job and his comforters How I'd enjoy
a hattul of fresh country air, free of dust
How I'd like to roam the woods, to Imbibe
a crystal draft from some gushing spring
| How I'd enjoy-avaunt, you tantalizlng
| idea, Have / not enough to torment
Good gracious there is the railroad whis-
de. announcing the mail and fresh work
and trouble for me. Patience alive. who
,-ould be an editor if he could be any
thing else? u..-on