The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1858-02-10
WHOLE NO. 70.



Oh. merciful Jehosophat and big on
ions, what time I've had with that wild
der. We chartered an omnibus for two
on Christmas, and started. Wilder
said l, where shall we 90 to She blush
ed. and said she didn't like to say.
told her she must say.
"Well, Jehuel. II you insist upon it,
and I am to have my choice. Ihad rath
er go to church."
! "What for, widder = said 1. 81. f-''
4 "Oh, Jehuel, how can you ask me ?,
\ "Cause I want to know said l.
/ "Wcll-(blushing redder than beef
it is such cold weather now, and the
nights are so awful cold, and oh,
Jehuel, can't say it! @ ".o1 q.
"Oh, pshaw wilder. spit it out. wha,
do you mean q ''. 1910
| The widder rilcd. She billed righ,
over like quart Of milk on the fire, and
burst out with .-a
"lf you can't understand me, your
a heartless brute, SO you are.'
"Hold your horses = said I. What's
all this about! I'm not brute, nor ne.
yer was, and if man called me that I'd
boot him, sure.' na ' "ns ~
And then billed right over, and un-
buttoned my coat collar to keep me from
Dustin off my buttons. The widder
saw was going to explode, or else
collapse my windpipe. and she flung her
arms round my neck, put her lips to
mine, and cooled right down.
"Jehuel. dear 7 said she. in an insin.
ivatin' way, and q voice ~ sweet as .
hand organ. "Jehuel, honsy,I wanted
to 60 to church to get nsar-no / can't
say it all, you finish the word, Jehuel,
sweet 1aua ~z s... ... s.n.
"Wkat word, marm?' - .a.. 4-u
"Oh, you stupid Jehuel. dear.
mean the word married, Jehuel, love-
Married widder = said /, did you
mean Muts' a-.. sa a.s ...
"Indeed I did, Jehuel, love!' ...
'Look here marm, my name isn't
Jehuel Love, nor Jehuel Dear, nor Je.
huel Sweet, I'd have you to know. And
l won't get married to nobody but one.
and you are not the she. ..r
Oh, pewter pennies, but didn't she
rave She made one dash at me, l dodg-
ed, and she went but up against the up
per end of the omnibus. Crack went
her comb. and smash went that bran new
bonnet that l didn't buy for her, and
down she went with her face in the
straw. But in moment she rose again.
and made one more dash at me. drop
ped-she went over me and butted the
door Of the omnibus. The strap broke
and out she went-her gaiter boots high.
or than her head Is she struck the pave
ment.
"Drive on 1! / yelled to the driver.
"Woman oyerboard-woman over
board 7 yelled passing sailor. .a
| Stop that White Coat--breach of
promise - Herald--publish =
shrieked the widder, in tones Of mortal
agony, while tears of blood streamed
from her beautiful pug.nose.
"Drive on--drive on = I shouted.
"Where to ? asked the driver. .,
ITO the Devil-to Harlem Macomb's
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. so that we es-
cape matrimony and the widder.'
He started, SO did the widder. and
chen we had it up the avenue, the buss
having the start of about hundred
yards. Foot by foot the widder gained.
Thinks l Jehuel, you are a goner. I
thought it was best to tighten ship. So
first hove overheard the straw. Still
she gained on me. Then overheard
went the cushions. But still she gain
ed. "More steam, driver, for mercy's
sake!' l yelled. ~. e. .r...s.E
1--WE are going faster than the law al
lows now he answered. Thirteen
miles an hour .. ....
| Jehosophat, how the widdcr did run !;
she hove off her bonnet and came up
hand over hand. A tlroug ght struck me,
so l off with my white coat and Aung it
right down in her path. She sprang on
it like she-panther. and tore it to
pieces; oh, how they few. l wept to
see it 60, but life is sweeter than coat,
and my tailor is making me new one |;
here We gained full two hundred yards,
but on she came again once more l
could see the green in her eyes; merci-
full Moses, how l felt.
"Driver,' said !. kill them horses or
get another mile out of them.
"Win you pay for 'em ? he said.
"Yes' yes, yes. said ''only save me
from the widder.' sar Avn a4s .a
By cracky, We did slide the widder
no longer gained. but she held her own
beautifully. Thus We had tout past
the Red House-through-H Harlem
where Capt. Graham. with three mount
cd policemen in vain attempted to catch
us. he probably supposing that We were
running away with some Bauk fund.
Ny only hope was in reaching Degroot's
ahead Of her: for knew they would
hide me. We are on the bridge, and.
oh, Moses, the draw vas up. and = sloop
going through. DRIVER said I. Jump
that bridge and III make your fortune
for life. sure as you're born
! "I'!l do it or die = he cried. Ind he
did il. The widder jumped after US.
fell into the Harlem River, and hasn't
been heard of since. las. ~ ... g..
A Hoo IN q Pex;coos. The Boston
Post thinks it worth relating that, in the
absence Of the men, u young married
l LII. e. vn.xA~ ~Ak ,,uAo,tooL - o~0nl .