Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, Va. [W. Va.]) 1852-1859, 1858-04-20
THE in TELLIGENCER..
TUESDAY MORNING, APRIL 20, 1858.

| WANTS MS UMBER-ELL--For some time past,
an old, dilapidated, fnded cotton umbrella has
been living neglected in the lost baggage room
at the Michigan Central Railroad depot. Every
bodv wondered who could be the owner of such
an article, as it was absolutely too poor for any
| bodv to borrow-a phenomenon, perhaps, never
before known. Itaccordingly lay neglected and
despised until day or two since, when u re-
markable interest was attached toit by receipt
of the following:
"To the baggage Master Mt detroit in Lost
Baggage room detroit Post office
"CHEsTER Co. Pa, March oath, 1858.
"Seir you will Pleas to Toured my umber-ell
that left in the Cars on the first day OF Janu-
airy or neir that time, ii air wooden handle
and bent at the end of it something like cain
handle and will pay for truble when gets 1t
from philadelphia
The precious "umbcr-ell'' was done up in
fourteen sheets of paper, and ''fopred" by ex-
press to its owner, who will have several dol
lars of express charges to pay on it, by way of
a good joke.-[Detroit Free Press
AN exchange contains AN advertisement of
bonnets and petticoats for young mems wear,
to correspondents the shawls so generally worn.
Very accommodating.
The question of debate before the Shutdown
debating society at present is: (which is the
greatest cause of swearing, horse that won't
draw or a stove?"
A theological professor, speaking of Balaam's
ass, says 1t is wrong to doubt that the ass spoke
like a man, when we daily hear so many men
that speak like asses.
"Mother, send for the doctor?" "Why, my
son? ?" "Cause that man in the Parlor is going
to die; he said he would if sister Jane did net
marry him, and Jane said she wouldn't"
81 meant to have told Won of that hole" said
an IriShinan to his friend, who was walking
with him i'll his garden, and stumbled into pit
full of water mo matter" said Pat, 1--WE
found it,
'Well, farmer, you told us your woods was
u god place for hunting. Now, we've tramp
ed through it for three hours, and found no
game" 'tJust so; we'll calculate, as a general
thing, the less game there is, the more hunting
you have"
The late Rev Daniel Isaac was both great
wag and great smoker "Ahl there you
arc" cried lady, who surprised him one day
with pipein his mounth, lat your idol again!"
Eyes, madam" replied he coolly, "burning ii"
Frenchman day made his appearance
at HcialdS College, and told the gentleman in
waiting that he wanted to look at shall. ga
SHALL :" said his astonished auditor, "a shall! oh,
a will you mean" Ell, 6ien, it is all de same:
u will or shall"
"Oh, pray let me have my way this time"
said Young gentleman to his lady-love.-
swell, Willie, l suppose must this once, but
you know that after we are married, shall al
ways have VIII of my own"
Doctor" said despniring patient to his
81 am in dreadful state. can
neither Lny nor set; what shall do?" "why
them" replied the doctor, very gravely, 81 think
you had bctter-TOost'"
IT is remarkable fact that, however well
young ladies may be versed in grammar, very
few of them are able to decline matrinony.
The Sunday Mercury, in fit of Revolution
airy enthusiasm, says:
"Hurrah for the girls of '76!"
"Thunder!" cries a New Jersey paper,
THAT'S too old. No, no; Murray for the girls of
III"