Meigs County telegraph. [volume] (Pomeroy [Ohio]) 1848-1859, 1858-03-02
mtsffllanGou us.
Gg-A. pound of beef loses one fourth
BY boiling, and an ounce more by roasting.


G-A sailor who was beating his wife,
was asked if he did not know she was the
weaker vessel? "If she is, she ought
not to carry SO much sail replied Jack.
Eg-"Mynheer, do you know what Con
we call our boy Hans!" - 49,. 4
DO not, really. Us. -..- .,..,.s
"Vell, l will tell you. Der reason we
call our boy Hans, it ish his name"
Ev An inveterate bachelor being asked
why he did not secure some fond ones
company in his voyage on the ocean Of
lie, replied, Il would if l were sure such
nm ocean would be Pacific"
Ey Darlington, in his sprigh1y ''Con
missionaire," pcrpetratcs the following.
What WAS the difference between Noah's
Ark and Joan Of Arc? One was made
of wood, the other was Maid of Orleans.
EE-A writer in the Norfolk (Va.)
ARGUS describes the statue of Wash
ington, in Richmond, as having its eyes,
fixed on the House Of Delegates, and its
right fore finger pointing to the Peniten
tiny.
RFWe never comprehended the mean :.
ing, fully, of Mr.. Buchanan when he
said, Il am the Platform" but it is very
evident now. lie is the platform from
which unlucky Douglasites arc to be
swung oil. ..- f.. gJ ,.. d..
ES-"'Tis strange" muttered a young.
man, as he staggered home from a supper
party, show evil communications corrupt
good manners. I've been surrounded by
tllmblers all evening, and now I'm q tum--
bier myself .......,s. - ..: r
GS-A very absent minded individual,
being upset from boat in the rive,. sank
twice before lie remembered that he could
swim. lie fortunately remembered 1t just
before he sank the third and last time
A great invention is memory.
Es; Mrs. Smith hearing strange sounds,
inquired of her new servant if she snored
in her sleep:
81 don't know. num-" replied Biddy,
quite innocently, 81 niver lay awake long
enough to diskiver." t
Eg-Whether Queen Victora's red pet
ticoats will become fashion in America,
is vet to be known. 1t is certain, how
ever, that the attempts of some of her
male predecessors to introduce their cred
coats in the country did not succeed.
REA close student of the Bible sug-
gests that there is reason for supposing
that one Of the descendants of Aaron,
the High Priest, was a native of Ohio.
See Ezra vii, 4 which reads, "The son of,
Zerahia the son Of Uzzi, the son Of (aN
Bukki." 7
Ey"Why, Siah, I'm astonished," said
very worthy deacon; didn't we take
you into our church short time since?"
IL believe so, hiceupped Sah," and be-
tween you and me, it was little of the
dandcst take in you ever saw or heard
Of" ...,..
EE-P Punctuation, that is, the putting
of stops in the right places, cannot be
too sedulously studied. We lately read
the startling account of Lord Palnlerston's s
appearance in the House of Commons:
Lord Palmerston then entered upon his
heada white hat upon his feet large but
well polished boots upon his brow; dark
cloud in his hand his faithful walkin e.
stick in his e ye; menacing glare saying
nothing, he sat down. Punch.
~Lord Brougham's son, who is yet
q minor, and, consequently, dependent
upon his father for support, has been
noted somewhat of late for his attention
to ayoung actress in the, French theater.
His father recently wrote the, following Ia
comic epistle:
- "If you do not quit her, I'll stop your
allowance
ITO which the son replied: =.
... "If you do not double it, I'll marry
her." .a
This son will enjoy seat in Parlia-
ment when he becomes Of age.
GTIf the scene of the following item,
which we clip from the Wheeling "In-
tellgencer, WAS located elsewhere than
in Virginia, it might be discredited:
g 1--WE saw yesterday, going up toward
the upper ferry, a team of four animals
horse, pony. a mule and an OK. The
horse had the heaves, the pony was blind,
the mule was lame, and the OK had no
provision for fly-time. In the wagon,
which was an ordinary one, there sat a
white man. crippled negro, and tame
skunk, frailly bound with wisp of straw.
held its own, and the negro held the skunk,
and they all moved forward. To make
this worthy of its place, it is essential to
say that it is true"
Dancers or THE RED PETrIcoAT.--
Three ladies, says an English paper, were
last week walking on the Hewmarket-road,
TWO of them exhibiting the favorite un-
der-garment of the day, when the ire of
a passing bullock was excited by the
glaring color, and he made dash at the
party. The offending ladies' succeeded in
~ evading him, but their companion, though
in amore sor1bre garb, was lifted upon n
gate by the beast but sus!aned no injury
except the fright.
" .-..-