Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1858-07-08
TIle Plague Of our First Rnby.

That first baby was a great institu-
ton. As soon as he came into this
world, he took command in our house.
Everything was subscrvient to him
The baby was the balance wheel that
regulated everything. He regulated
the temperature, he regulated the food.
he regulated the servants. he regulated
me. For the first six months of that
precious existence he had me up on an
average of six times a night. sMr Blif.
kins," says my wife, 'bring that light
here, do; the baby looks strange; l am
so afraid it will have a fitr' OF course
the lamp was brought and of course the
baby lay sucking his fist like little
white bear as he was. ''Mr. Blifkins."
said my wife, ~ think I feel a draught
of air, I wish you would get up and see
if the window is not open little, he
cause baby might get sick" Nothing
was the matter with the window, as l
knew very we'll 'sMr Blifkihs says
my wife, just as was going to sleep a
gain, 'that lamp, as you have placed it
shines directly in the baby's eyes
strange you have no more consideration.
l arranged the light and went to bed a
gain. Just as I was dropping to
sleep again, '.Mr. Blifkins," said my
wife, did you think to buy that broma
to day for the baby?" "My dear" said
I, 'will you do me the injustice to be-
lieve that I could overlook matter so
essential to the comfort of that inesti.
mabe child?' She apologized very
handsomely, but made her anxiety the
scape goat. l forgave her. and without
i 70. Ia., II :.
myself to sleep. ''Mr Dlifkins, y said
my wife shaking ME, t'you must not
snore SO, you will wa c the baby y"-
jest sso-jest so, said 1 half asleep,
thinking was Solon Single. Mr.
Blif Nins,' said my wife, "will you get
Up and hand me the warm cruel from
the nurse lamp, for the baby?-thc
dear child! if it wasn't for his mother,
[ don't know what he would do. How
can you sleep so, Mr.. Blifkins?' 81
suspect my DEAR said I, ''that it is be-
cause am tired" ooh, it is very
we'll for you men to talk about being
tired,' said my wife; Il don't know
what you would say if you had to toll
and drudge like a poor woman with a
baby" l tried to soothe her by telling
her she had no pltience at all, and got
up for the posset. Having aided in
answering the baby's roquirments, l
stepped into bed aga with the hope
Of sleeping. MIR. Blifkins," said she
in a louder key. 1 said nothing ''Oh,
dear!" said that estimable woman, in
great apparent anguish, show can a
man, who has arrived at the honor of a
living baby of his cwn, sleep, when he
don't know that the dear creature will
live till morning. l remained silent.
and after a while, deeming that Mrs.
Blifkinss had gone TO sleep. l stretched
myself for repose. How long slept l
don't know, but was awakened by a
furious jab in the forehead by some
sharp instrument I started up, and
Mrs. Blifkins was sitting up in the bed
adjusting some portion of the baby's
dress. She had in a state of semi-som
nolence, mistaken my head for the pill
low, which she customarily used for a
nocturnal pincushion. l protested a
gainst such treatment in somewhat
round terms, pointing to several per
forations in my forehead. She told me
should willingly bear such trihinG
things for the sake of the baby 1 in
sisted upon it that 1 didn't think my
duty as parant to that young immor
tai required the surrender of my fore
head for pincushion This was one
of many nights passed in this way
The truth was, that the ba by was
what every other mans first baby is, an
autocrat--absolute and unlimited.