Brookville American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1858-1861, 1858-07-09
conretts of the scissors.


occi you must nave.
pdB- To make a pretty girls check red.
pay her q compliment. To redden those
Of an impudent man, slap them.
p6- Why did Lord Byron wear wig7
I fancy because his coarse hair (Corssir)
was so much admired (sensation.)
p9- DIR. Franklin used to say that
rich widows werc the only pieces Of
second hand goods that sold at prime
cost. t..
pI- II is supposed that angels do not
wear dresses. Our fashionable ladies
are getting moro and more angelic ev.
cry year. . -
D1- The oracles Of old were uttered
from Doda's wood. II does not follow,
however. that every uttcrance from y
wooden head is oracular.
r9- At prayer meeting in Buffalo q
gentleman requested the prayers OF tho
congregation, las he was about choosing
u companion. e.ttf s.I4 -
r@- Did you ever hear man return
thanks without saying he was 'unac-r
customed to public speaking or that u
was the proudcst moment OF his iiief
rts- "Sally, how do you like your
new place? is it.a religious familyf =,
..Well, I rather guess it is--they always
have beans on Sunday"
n7s- A dentist having failed TO cx-
tract a tooth from a iady's mouth, said:
rho fact is. madam, it is impossible for
anything bad to come from your mouth g
py- 'Marm, may go fishing2 Yes
sonny, but don't 60 near the water; and
recollect, If you are drowned, I'll skin
YOU as sure us you are alive?
rtn- Cicero said of man who had
ploughcd in the ground in which his
father was buried, This is really cult
waiting ones fathers memory" - ~
IRisH LooIc.--'Deer Mike; If yc don't
git this lethcr at all, rite an let US know
il, an I'll raise the very divil wild the
Postmaster. An mind, now, don't pay
a clint of the Postage in advance till you
500 the lcthcr safe in the ofco.
uea- A conscientious person afiirms
that he once in his life beheld people
"mindng their own business" This
occurrence happened al sea,
tho passengers bcing too sick" TO ut.
tend TO oach others concerns.
pa- john, said a mastcr TO his head
apprentice ~ ~. ,yas .lsaut starting on
a short journey, You must occupy my
place while am absent Thank you,
sir, demurcly replied John, but I'd
rather sleep with the boys.
p6- Mr. B. having lefl his family In
America, whom TO Paris, whore he died.
His disconsolate widow bad q grave
stone erected. in cemetry near Now
York, upon which was engraved
"Here lies Mr., buried 10 Paris"
p2- II sag, jim" said pIough-boy.
the other day 70 his companion, ~ know
a now fashioned macintosh TO keep out
tho wet" whats that?" "Why, II
YOU eat red herrin for breakfast you'll
be dry all day" ~ ee'is'iai1s
bS- We recently saw two men quar-
reling. One of tbcm was exclusively
violent at first but became perfectly,
calm the moment the other got violent.
lie was cured as doctors sometimes cure
maladcs-by counter-irritation. 80
rey- II expect" said violent south
ern politician the other day, 70 take tho
ears of dozen Of my opponents in this
canvass" - a-s4 f..as rrt
"You already have pair as long as .
dozen ordinary ones" said bystaad.
or.
pay- Winchell, tho clown, accidentally
iostled an Irishman one day. in pub
lie room, when he romarked,-- f4l
"You arc no jintloman."
81 know that" said Winchell, "but
don't sec how such Ounce as you carne
TO know ID.
NO.. Pat do you love your country"
"Yes, yer honor" i.1tt eeIs
Whats the best sthing about ould
ireland, PaU"
Tho whisky, yer honor"
r"Ah, see, Pat, with al her fauls
you l1ye her STILL" slf s.lt-
pa- An Englishman and a wolshman
dispntipg In whose country was the best
living; said tho. Wolshmans-- tea
There is such noble housekeeping In
Wales that havo known above dozen
cooks employed at one wedding dinner
.Ay, answered the EngIishman, that
was because cvery maa toasted his own
cheese
n1- "Well now. Patrick, will you bo
afthcr tollin' us what's tho timo wild
YEP"
This WINS asked by Tim Delany, who
observed his friend, Patrick, sporting m
imaginary imo-kecpor, orrathcr chain
and bunch Of snowy seals.
Och, an sure I'd do II with all the
pleasure In life,' replied Pat. "only my
watch is Almost two days last, an' SO Il
Is"
Must 90 BY stame, sure" said Tim.
"Faix an you've just said 1t, boy"
said Pat.
py- II Is provorbial that low conedi-
ans aro of q nervous temporamenI and
whom, on the benefit night of comic
actor, few friends thought proper 70
to make him q present, Ia tho shape Of
a silver mug: in his confusion and ner-
vousness he know not what 70 say, and
stammering forth his thanks. informed
tho audience that he would wear that
mug next 70 his heart for the remainder
OF his life