Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1858-06-03
NUMBER 21.
The Great Saratoga Trunk

|
? Old Anthracite has a very dear wife,
so dear that she costs him on her own
| private account about fifteen thousand
dollars year. Mrs. Anthracite always
has the latest fashions, so when the great
; Saratoga trunk was exhibited in Broad
way, Mrs. A. at once pure hased one for
her summer trip.
Every one knows that the great Sar-
atoga trunk is an unexceptionablet trunk.
It is colossal-of Titanic proportions
Cheops, the builder of the great pyramid
might have found ample accommodation
for her entire household in the great
Saratoga trunk ..
Accordingly, down went Mrs. A. to
the great watering place with her great
trunk She had not been long there,
however, when old Anthracite received a
private telegraph from friend, to inform
him that Mrs. a. was flirting desperate
ly with young Belzebub, the son and
heir of old Belzebub, the great soap boil
er. Anthacite instantly takes the train,
arrives at the hotel, and walks up stairs.
His wife's door is shut He knocks
Door opens after some delay. Mrs. A.
appears fluttered, which futter inc rcases
to dismay when she sees her husband.
Husband enters coolly; explains that he
just came to see how she was getting on,
and seats himself on the great Saratoga
trunk. Drops glove, the picking up
of which enables him to look under the
bed. No one there. Husband talks of
the weather, and the pair are settling
down to little conversation, when old
Anthracite remarks quietly.
"Mrs. A, there is rat in your trunk"
Mrs. A. turns pale through her paint.
No, husband is mistaken. The rat is in
the wainscot. They are always there,
those rats. Husband is sure it is in the
trunk He smells him, he will exam
inc. Mrs. A. is very anxious he should
not He cannot. The trunk is shut,
and the key is lost. Her husband begs
to contradict. The key was in the lock,
and what was more-the lid was open.
Husband, amid the protestations of
Mrs. A. half raised the lid. No crino-
line, no shawls, no lace, no furbclows
in the great Saratoga trunk; only Bel
zcbub's glossy curls and killing mus
tache are visible. Mrs. A. instantly
faints It's the privilege of her sex on
such occasions. What does husband
10? Shoots Belzebub? Not bit of it.
He smiles grimly and shuts the lid down
a gain, locking the great Saratoga trunk.
He rings the bell; tells the waiter to
bring a ginlet. Bores a few holes in
The great trunk; orders up the porter,
and goes off to New York, accompanied
by the great Saratoga trunk. What
would the trunk have given for a cigar
n the baggage wagon, when it smelled
he tubacco smoke that is so literally
)uffed about! The trunk, though near
y suffocated, thought it best to keep
Iuiet.
Arrived at New York, old Anthracite
old the people at the depot, loud enough
or the great Saratoga trunk to hear him,
hat he would leave his baggage at the
flee for few days, when he would
end for it. He then went off. This
Tas more than the great trunk could
car, so it kicked. shouted and made
oise, until it was broken open, and to
he amazement of everybody, poor Bel
club crawled out in limping condi-
ion. He tried to tell people that it was
one for a bet, but somehow the truth
,aked out, and I predict that next sum
Ter there will be fewer great Saratoga
-unks at the Springs. 1 think old An
lracite had the best of it, don't you?