Brookville American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1858-1861, 1858-12-03
NO. 49,.


nak. A pretty girl was complainingto
her friend that she had bad cold, and
was sadly plagued In hor lips by
chaps, "Fricnd," said 0bedah, "thss
should never suffer tho chaps to coms
near thy lips"
nsV- A French writer asserts that
Adam was tho first ridiculous man, bo-
cause ho was the first married man.
and naivcly adds, "but he would have
been mors ridiculous had ho remained
bachelor"
p6y- A mans happiness is said 10 hang
upon n thread, and IL may bo added
that the man himself sometimes de-
serves to hang upon ropo.
Bss- An exchange says that IL is juss
rs sensible move TO undertake to gss
married without courting. as 10 al.
tomrt 20 succeed In business without
advertising,
- Mrc. Darlington thinks that old
Mother Ocean Is % bsfierz ,han shs or.
70 be, on else she wouldn't allow Allan
tic Cable toIayin her bosom"
s6r A rich saddIer, whose daughter
was afterwards married 10 the celcbra-
tod Earl Of Halifax, ordered in his will
that she should lose her fortune IL she
did not marry n saddler. The young
Earl Of Halifax in order 70 win the
bride, served an apprenticeship OF SOW
On years 10 saddler, and afterwards
bound himself TO the rich saddlor'a
daughter for life.
nas- A duel was recently fought In
Mississippi byS Knott and A.w. Shott.
Tho result was Knottwas shot aud Shott
was not. Under these circumstances
we would rather have been Shott than
not
p4- A driver Of coach in Texas,
stopping to get somo water for the
young ladies, in the carriage, being ask.
cd what he stopped for replied, "I'm
watering my flowers" a delicate com.
plimont.
p6g- Why is nm old chair thathas had
a new bottom put In II like q paid
bill
Because it is re.seatcd (rcceiptcd).
BE5- An old lady down East. having
kept n hired man on liver for month.
why, John, Idon't think you like liv-
err oh. yes, said John, 4 like IL 70.
ry we'll for fifty or sixty meals. but I
don't like it as steady diet /
pa- Crispin says thers is no danger
Of hard times among tho shoomakers.
because every shoe is sold before u can
lao e,nt roadv for fnarket
lSy- An old bachelor, after oil bis
matrimonial failures, exclaims:
"Whon | remember al the girls I've
met together feel like rooster in the
fall exposed 10 every weather. l feel
like ono who treads alone some barn.
yard oil deserted, whose oats are hcd,
whose hens are dead and oil 70 market
started"
n<a- A Coroner's jury in Georgia, re-
Gently returned the following verdict
in the case of man who had boon kill
ed by lightning:
"Wc arc opinloned that the doc ensed
came TO bis death causalIy by q acct
dental stroke Of thunder"
rG- A young lady at ball, was ask.
cd by n lover of serious poetry whs,h-
or she had seen "Crabbc's Talc'f
"why no." sho answered, II didnt
know that crabs had tails,
al beg your pardon, Miss" said ne.
II mean have you read 'Crabbe's Talos''
mAnd | assure you, sir, l did nos
know that rcd crabs, or any other crabs
had tails"
ra- An Irishmans description OF
fiddle cannot DO beat:
1T was the shape OF turkey, and
tho size of goose, he turned itover on
its back and rubbed its bellv with a
stick, and Och st. Patrick, how It did
squalc"
pJ- "What do YOU propose 10 take
for yourcold ?" said q lady 10 n snecs'
ing gentleman.
"Oh, I'll sell very cheap; WON'T hig.
gle about the price at all"
re- Diggs saw notc lying on the
ground. but knew that II was countor-
felt and walked on without picking 10
nm. He told Smithcrs tho story, WHOM
the ldNlcI oblh
"Do You know, Diggs, you have oom'
mittcd q very grave offcnse 2
"Why, what have ! dono?"
"You have passed counterfcit bill,
knowing il to be such" said Smithers.
without n smile, and fed.
rsy- Digby sat a long time very Az
tcntive, consderinga cane.bottom chair;
At length he said II wonder what fell
low took the trouble to find all them
holes and put tho straw round them7
r9- A witness was asked if tho de-
fendant "stood ON the defensive" "Nc.
he stood on bench and fit like the
devil"
pey- An attorney. about 10 furnish q
bill of costs, was requested by his client
baker, to make it as light as he could.
."Ah r. rel lied tho attorney, "thats
what YOU say 20 your foreman, but its
not the way / mako my bread
Ba5- An old lady. sleeping during di-
vine service in church in Liverpool.
let her Bible fall, with clasps to II, and
the noise partly waking hor, she cx-
claimed aloud--"There, you havc bro.
ken another jug, you slut, have you
no. a sccdy Chap pcrpctrated the
following during one of the late cola
mornings