Meigs County telegraph. [volume] (Pomeroy [Ohio]) 1848-1859, 1858-03-23
Glt-8
EF~ Pants procured ION tick" may be
considered "breeches of trust"

EB- Pants procured ION tick may be
considered ''breeches Of trust"
ED-Mock no man for his snub nose,
for you can never tell what may turn up.
Eg-Why is a hen sitting on a fence
like a cent? Because she has head on
one side and tail on the other.
ES-A coffinm.ker having apartments
to let, posted his bill announcing the
same upon coffin -"Lodging for single
gentlemen"
Es-A lady asked veteran which rifle
carried the maximum distance?
The old champion answered: "Tho
Minnie num- ........
RE"A verdant Yankee, seeing the an,
nouncement in front of book store,
"Nothing to Wear sold here" ex
claimed: oval, now, wonder who said
tEe.e was!'
Eg" An exchange tells of an editor who
went soldering, and was chosen captain.
One day, at parade, instead OF giving the
orders. "Front face, three pacesforward,
he exclaimed, "Cash, two dollars year,
in advance"
E@If you don't know whatever every
body else knows, you had better hold
your tongue; and if you know something
that everybody else knows, you had bet
ter hold your tongue, too. ....
GS-Seeing upon his wife's shoulder
large shawl-pin. Mr.. D. said: "In the
military, eh; got to be Captain?" She
instantly remarked pointing to third
baby in her lap: "No; Recruiting Ser
geant in the Third Infantry"
E%-An exchange notices the marriage
of Miss Angeline Brahma, daughter of
the great vocalist, and then adds eve
congratulate the bridegroom upon his
privilege Of rcposing, when on earth, upon
A. A-Braham's bosom.
Es-Toast at q supper party, Feb. 22d,
1855: "Here's to the man who swears,
steals and lies-swears off from drinking,
steals away from bad company, and lies
in an honest bed"
Gy"A dandy on board steamboat
lately stood by and saw young lady fall
on the deck without Offering to assist her
On being asked for an explanation:
II was waiting" says Poodle, "for an
introduction"
Eg~An article in an exchange paper,
announcing the decease Of person, says:
His remains were committed to that
bourne whence no traveller returns, at
tended by his friends"
EyA bachelor advertised Cor help.
mate, one who would prove "a companion
for his heart, his hand and his lot" A
fair one replying, asked very earnestly
"is yours corner lot?''
@-A beggar posted himself at thu
door of the Chancery Court, and KEEP
saying, GA penny, please sir! Only one
penny, sir, before you go in!" "And
why, my MANI" inquired an old country
gentleman. Because, sir, the chances
are you will not have one when you come
out" was the beggar's reply.-Panch.
GS"A quaint old gentleman of an ac
tive, stirring disposition, had man a
work in his garden who was quite the re
verse. JONES'" said he, "did you eve
see a snail!' Certainly" said Jones
"Then," said the old boy, "you must hav
met him, for you could never overtak
him.
EFThe wretched man who perpetra
ted the following slanderous effusion was
at last accounts, not expected to survive
AT all events, it is hoped he will not:
"Younsstcr, spare that girl
Kiss not tthose lipsso meek;
Unrufied let the far lock curl,
Upon the naiden's cheek.
Believe her quite saint,
Her looks are all diyine
Her rosy hue is paint,
Her form scrinolinc,"
EE-Three or four times a couple az
peared before a clergyman for marriage
but the bridegroom was drunk, and lh
reverend gentlemen refused to tie the kno
On the last occasion he expressed his SUI
prise that so respectable looking girl wa
not ashamed to appear at the altar with
man in such state. The poor girl brok
into tears, and said she could not help /
And why, pray?" Because, sir,
won't come when he is soberp
JOIN BOLIVAR VIsITs a PHRENoLoe1s,
John Bolivar, visited a phrenologist
study. He writes:
lisa free institution-fled with idea
heads" Professor wished to feel of m
head. Told mm to feel of it with my hi
on. The hat was felt. then took it ol
He examined my wig. Said he kne
there was something in my head--it WI
full Of life. He dwelt long time on
bump caused by the sidewalk falling again
it while / was taking my roommate hon
from primary election. Professor sal
large bumps denoted great inquisitivenes
Said had = searching mind. Told me
search if had quarter in my pocke
Called that Experiment. phrenology.