Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1858-01-19
WHY ALWAYS INVITED OFT on
tHRISTMAS DAY.

always invited out on Christmas dayi I have
go Uany invitations that. if / had the same num-
aer OF heads rs a sheet OF postage stamps, be-
DeHe there would be n dinner for every one of
them on that day.
How is it, Why, there's Curmudgepn, the
young Cur, rs we call him. He is we'll con-
neeted- lie is so rich that he might sleep on n
mattress of bank-nctes every night, and not
feel the pressure in the least He has so many
unces and aunts in the Peerage that thew are
almost numerous enough to fill a Ledger by
themselves, There is bar0netcy at his feet
into which he cannot help tumblipg some day:
anu ne mas legs and n nose, and mouth and
par OF eyes as regularly drawn as his salary
at the ClrcumlOcuton Office and we all know
what handsome figure that is Well not
Sithstanding all these eattractions-and he wears
pegtop trousers into the bargain, which. per-
hsps, are the very lOudest pegtops in London
us as much as he can do to get an invite on
that universally -dining-out day, the 18th of
toeeomber. did hear that last year he dined
a; The Hercules Club, in solitary grandeur. all
oy himself He was the only man in this mon
ster-grandiOse dining room on that day and
had the whole corps of twenty two servants and
thirteen boys (all Of them in livery and crested
outtOns) to wait upon him. L am told that this
was most affecting sight, especially when his
plate of pudding was brought in ItwaS
thin slice, with a sickly blue flame that
seemed to be dancing in deIisOn over it. The
outler had to leave the room 1t was too much
for him, poor fellow,
Now, when | go out on Christmas day. | try
70 make myself As happy as L can. L not only
amuse myself, but try to amuse others Tho
children meet me in the hall and we are friends
IN minute. No necessity for an introduction.
may have a whistle, or lot of Bonaparte's
rlos, or cdrlcature, or an orange, or some
friendly Offering in my pocket; and the moment
rally as possible
we rornf, and play, and are as happy as
tnough tnere were no powders in this world.
ana tRefs was no chance of the doctor coming
20 see Us the next day / make them rab,
'olss o. the wall that stand on the hind legs
= n eat, and scratch their long ears with their
tarepaws L cut them baskets deaths heads
&c, out of oranges, and other patterns most
curious and comical to behold. | get nv first
and second fingers to represent the legs of
Highlander, and, in that capacitX and with
handkerchief Tor Kilt, they scamper round
the tray, and dance hornpipe-which, for ac-
curacy, could not be surpassed by Mr.. T. p.
Cooke. With the simple aid of napkin nv
hand cOnJures up an old woman's face that
makes them die of laughing; and their aston
Ishnent knows bounds when, after superbu-
man efforts of strength, succeed in pnsbinp
half crown through the mahogany table ani
1t is distinctly heard to drop through on the
opposite side.
They never tire Of listening to nv limitations
OF Punch, and they ask me again and again TO
bark like the dog Toby, which canine imitation
ts so wonderfully Hfe-like that pussy rounds
her back. and takes up defensive attitude ON
the hearth-rug to resist any invasion of it,
Most Ieeloglcally curious are my assumptions
of various animals-withOut pride or affecta-
ton believe have an entire poultry-yard
IN my throat. My cock-crowing was, tell
them, the very identical salute of the man that
made the sun in Kentucky rise by mistake
good hour earlier than usual. They laugh,
and their laughing makes me laugh until we
are told that grandpapa cannot bear 80 much
noise. and we had better go into the passage
and play by ourselves
am enlisted in the theatricaH corps. Some
how. to the great amusement of everybody the
most IgnOble characters are allotted 10 me The
daughters OF the house they are sweetIy nret
ty) have malicious pleasure in DRESSING me
up as sroteSquely "a they can. Their greate.t
Iuh consists In smotherlng my face in old ladies
caps ana b0nnets, and L have a shrewd suspi-
clOn that that particular style of head-dress
does not tend much tn increase Inv beauty for
notice that the effect my appearance pro-
duces on the company is always one of the
most uProarious merriment. The old people
20 into cOnvulsiOns Of laughter the bows clan
their hands, and even the servants mt Their
aprons up TO their mouths, and with their gut
tural entrTeSclnS sound, like the Openiu., of
soda,water bottles, disappear hurriedIy down
the Kitchen stairs. To give a sample of nv
general treatment, will mention th,, tho ct
elected as the most fitting representative Of
'hat unlntelllgent animal, and the shouts that
Saluted my entrance into the drawing-rv room. as
trotted on all fOurs, with Miss Julia aged
hVe) on my back, AMI a pair Of fur gloves tied
on edch side oi my head by way OF donkeys
ears, and long bell-rope hanging behind me
a the best likeness of a tail were. I must saw
most complimentary to my powers of imitation
don know what it was that inspired mo IN
pray out IL sounded so natural, and it so clear
ly went home to the hearts of everybody. that
the loud explosion of laughter that ensued
would have done poor Curmudgeon' ; heart GOOD
to have heard it, 60
am not going through each separate stage
oi OnriStRas party. L imagine Christmas
parties are very mnch the same ,,bere gnod
1eeilnS binds all hearts in happy unison to.
gether- There is a family Iiken f,rc,,
that runs through such rejoicings. Tb. cha,
acters are very much alike. and the programme
Oh tlme-honored amusements does no, vary
much In our honest English homes | need
only refer, with becoming briefness. 10 what I
10 on those happy occasions. If song is want
ed, sing. i have no voice so | make M fuss
about 1t, but sing. generally get to the end
Oi the hrSt verse with tOlerablc success Cand
,"tTs "0"S, 1t Is something about the e1yfE he
'"S foPeTx and the audience laugh but |
am rarely asked to 60 on with the second If
nand ls wanted for a game of cards am
your man. and can play without LOSING nv
temper, or quarreling with my partner because
ne Will not play the precise card want If
you want a good bowl Of punch, ask me TO
brew IT. l compound il as sonscientiousy as
should draw up my will. As in the latter,
no dear one was omitted that was worthy of re-
membrance, SO in the former, not good ingre-
dIent shouid be left out that was dear to our
recollection, and all should have their fuII
quantities metedPut to them according to their
true deserts. Ii dance is afoot. / am ready
TO dance, until the house shakes again. the
floor jerk ng up and down as though the room
were big bottle that was being cleaned. and
we were the shot inside that were cleaning it,
You will never see me leaning n ,ainst the
door, standing On my dignity. waiting for n
partner worthy of my inferior self, but start
of instantly, either with the oldest or the
youngest OF the party. | am not above offer
ing my hand even TO poor deserted wall
flower The musicians tire before | do. |
can keep up with the nimbIest Of them, and