Nashville patriot. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1858-1860, 1858-09-25


forever. Florence had no plans; she depend
ed upon Mr.. Ashton; she had no letters from
any one; the temporary excitement produced
by her revelations to me, which, unburdening
her mind. made her feel less solitary and
care-worn, had in a measure passed away
She WIS very sad: it maddened me to see her
so miserable, to feel that she was lavishing
wealth of tenderness would have periled
life and soul to gain, upon cold, neglectful.
calculating man, who, knowing her anxiety
and unhappiness, made no effort to comfort or
rescue her. could stand it no longer; l told
her loved her. and besought her to forget
him and to listen to me.
Her eyes fixed themselves gravely, sadly,
inquiringly, upon my eager, flushed, excited
face. / was cold and hot all at once
'Are you in earnest?" she asked, at last.
Heaven knows what l answered-what
said
She was not angry, but she grew very pale,
and her words were cold yet kind. She told
me how much she had trusted me, how much
she had relied upon my friendship. "This
must end now. must give up an intercourse
| fraught with dangers to US BOTH" My heart
beat
Eyes" she continued, answering my eyes,
| for my tongue said nothing. eyes. To
both. / am not a simpleton altogether
| Friendship between a man and woman is
| by no means impossible nor impracticable
until the word love is mentioned Then,
incessant dangers arise-dangers of all sorts.
1t matters not how strong may be his reso-
buttons never to repeat the fatal syllable
| il ,CIL come; 1t matters not how engross-
| ingly she may be attached elsewhere
| Madame de Meuilles has said, "A wo-
men often resists the passion she feels; seldom
the passion she inspires. There is something
very sweet, very powerful, in the conviction
that one is seriously loved. Spoken or I'M
| - -
myself to any such formidable enemy AS usual,
| am candid. do not love you, but do be-
lieve that you love me. l am very, very
much grieved that it should be so. Is it my
! fault? is it yours? You We're warned, you
were armed against such folly. have one
comfort-quickly as it came, SO quickly will
it 60"
be my last"
| She smiled.
! "YOu do not believe me?'
"All men say this TO every woman. Nearly
every woman says it to any man whom she
! loves. 1t is considered necessary 6ctiOn.''
buried my head in my hands; L did not
care to argue the point.
She withdrew my hands gently from my
! face.
pray don't, 1 said; ':for did not choose
that even she should see the tears that dimmed
my eyes. Oh! what fool | am to recall all
| this Those were the saddest and yet the
bappiest moments Of my life. Sad. because
reason told me that | was destined to disap-
pointment; happy. because hope never quite
| dies so long as there is Hfe-and life for me
was in her presence, the silence of her lover,
| the faintest gesture of her white hand, our
separation from every one about us, the curve
of her red lip, the CLEAN of her dark eye, the
| low, sweet mournful cadence of her express
sive voice. | slumbered and foated along.
| Time enough to awaken when some change
| or accident should arouse me. | Just held
| on to the passing moments and never looked
ahead.
! How kind she was-how noble-hOw true!
| After urging me to go, to leave Ashton, and
| finding me determined to stay. she seemed to
adopt my own ideas, and to let things take
their natural course.
! "You are obstinate" she said. land | am
weak. Listen to wisdom you will not; pru-
dence you scOrn. l can not go, and have
not the courage, the energy to avoid you On
your own head be the consequences" and she
began to talk of literature, music, any thing
Well, the end was near at hand; 1T came
l had noticed a growing Impotence in my
| idol, a restlessness of manner, a petulance,
which she instantly repented and repeated.
She would look earnestly at me, and then
impatiently withdraw her gaze. She did not
speak Grossly to me, but her thoughts were
hard, sneering. bitter. and so expressed them
| selves of her own self and of others. AT
| length one evening, again we sat upon that
rustic bench overlooking the laZily flowing
| river, and Florence's dark eyes watched the
setting sun. as like ball of fiercely heated
iron. he dropped behind the trees.
The dewy shades ofnight softly crept down
and spread around us: what possessed me
do not know; but / felt that crisis was at
hand, and something forced me to speak once
more of the love which was, saw, filling my
very existence. poured out burning words
of passionate Affection called her cold,
cruel; accused her of trifing with me. L
| sneered at her callousness. Heaven knows
what follies l uttered. l was fierce and
bitter. Through it all she never moved nor
spoke. At length l paused, and then her
| low, sweet voice broke upon the silence
! which followed, like a strain of angelic
melody after a crash of noise and confusion.
Il thank your she said, ''for arousing me
inst as 1 was about to place my feet upon the
verge of precipice | am still summed by
the sense of the danger | have escaped, and
am equally divided between gratitude to you
Cor doing me this service and terror at my
own imprudence. Do you understand me?
l can express myself very freely now, for L
am safe Have you been so blind as not to
have perceived that during the past day or
| two a change had come over me! Do you
remember what said to you when first you
declared your love? / feared for us both:
however vaguely for myself, still an instinct
babe me be wise and avoid you. | neglected
the warning-and you, insensibly, grew upon
me each moment" / would have seized her
hand-she resolutcly withdrew it: my blood
danced and dubbed in my veins-she went
on, calmly, and each word she uttered fell in
measured accents, without a shade of emo
| ton.
81 began to draw comparisons between you
and-same one. He lost by the contrast, and
you gained. Your unselfsh, unexacting,
eager, and respectful devotion the sympathy
you felt, the evident determination which you
showed to convince me of your love, by re-
specting my position and leaving to time to
work change in my feelings, if change
there ever would be, gave so much
pleasure. touched me so fatally. that my
! mind has been n chaos of rCmorse, happiness,
doubt determination. | could no more
/ unravel it--this tangled skein of fifty oppo-
site feelings-than ! could make that sun
pause in its downward course. Your hand
| has saved me the trouble. What you accuse
/ me of a want of faith in YOU. because / do
not believe your love eternal after a three
weeks acquaintance You call me eallous,
! because / did not, at your first words. throw
| myself into your armsi You consider me
! heartless, because 1 cling to a love which
does not date from yesterday! am calculat-
ing. because have been deceived, and fear
| to be so again; and, last of all--worst of all
| | have tritled with your affection-coquetted
with you'll and now her words came
fast and Indignantly, who barred my
Utmost feelings TO you, stranger; who
accepted you as my friend on the faith of
/ your honest eyes, and your own wishes
/ disregarding the half-uttered warnings OF
| Caroline Ashton. who, in our few converse
| tions, has insnuated that your reputation as
a fiirt was only to be equaled by your vanity
| and your inordinate love Of conquest! Mrs.
| Ashton too has kindly hinted "A few such