Kenosha tribune & telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1856-1859, 1858-11-25
Z sTa .E.s NI s. a..

That conduct often seems ridiculous,
the secret reasons of which are wise
and solid.
The Indian mutiny will cost Great
Britain 100000, 000-or $195, 900, 600
a pretty expensive affair.
a celebrated metaphysician being
asked, " What is matter 2" answered,
"Neyer mind'-and "WhaC is mind %
"No matter"
Sturgeon sometimes comes out with
a good thing. Brethren" said he, g if
God had referred the Ark to commit
tee on naval affairs, it's my opinion it
would not have been built yet.''
Look here, jim, there is hole
knocked out Of this bottle you gave
me-" Why, not at all there's the
hole in it now. II it was Knocked out,
how could it be there ?"
Cyrus w. Field has sent printed
circular to his customers, announcing it
to be his purpose for the future 10 de-
vote his personal attention exclusively
to his regular business of manulactur-
ing and selling paper.
4 country girl, from the field, was
told by her cousin that she /" looked as
fresh as daisy kissed with dew"
-" Well, it wasn't any Teller by that
name, but twas Steve Jones that kissed
me; | told lin that every one in town
would iind It out"
" Well, Mr. Richards, how does my
son Ct along with his grammar lesson?'
+" lie snrpasSes any pupil that ever I
had. " " In what does lie chiefly excel,
sir" In stupidity, sir. He surpasses
any boy thas ever saw in that quality,
sir.
The submarine telegraphic cable
across the English Channel from Dover
to Calais in France, has ceased to work,
owing, il IS supposed, TO the effect of
the salt water upon it.
The wheat crop in Canada, in 1853,
according to returns received at the
Bureau Of Agriculture, is about % per
cent. below the average OF ordinary
years.
WIFE" said a man looking for a
boot-jack, | have places where I keep
my things, aud you ought to know it,
eyes, " said she, 'I ought to know where
You keep your late hours; but don't"
Some Of the Douglas papers gravely
assert that Mir Buchanan is insane
There is no doubt that, since the late
election, he has been mad, and con
foundcdly mad, too.
Rev. Mr.. Coan's church at the Sand
wich Islands, has over 5000 members.
During the past year, the collections
for foreign missions at the monthly CON
cert have been 81 800, and the church
has contributed $4,000 for benevolent
objects Of all kinds.
81 wish" said beautiful wife to her
studious husband wish / was
book" 81 wish you were IAN Ahn0-
nac," replied her loving lord, and then
/ would get new one every vear.''
Just then the silk rustled and the erin
oline screached.
MIss1oNs.-The American Board,
single missionary society Of this coun-
try, has 373 missionaries in foreign
parts, sent from this country and sus-
tanned byit; also 524 converted native
missionaries, At their eight printing
establishments they printed last year
IS, 489,346 pages, making the whole
number Of pages since they began to
publish, upwards of 1000 ,o0o. 900
Their 1873 mission churches have Of.
740 members.
AN ITEM FOR BoYs.-It is one oftbe
besettlng sins OF the young men of this
extrayagaet age to endeavor to get rid
OF Work-to seek for easy and lazy en-
ployment-and the consequence is that
many OF them turn out worthless vaga-
bonds. Boys, avoid this whirlpool as
you wovld a plague spot-banish from
yourselves the dangerous desire to live
without work. Labor is honorable and
dignifed-it is the parent of health,
wealth, and happiness. Look upon it
as an Invaluable blessing, and never as
burden and curse. Shun idleness
and sloth--pursuef some honest calling,
and be not ashamed to be useful.