The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1858-01-09

posite upon the road.-''Done" "Donei'
Now | am sorry a man | have hithert
praised, should have lent himself even il
whisper to such speculation: but "no
body is wise at all hours" not even whel
the clock is striking five and twenty; ant
you are to consider his profession, hi
good looks, and the tcmptation-te t,
three.
After Slough the party was reduced t,
three; at Twyford one lady dropped hel
handkerchief; Captain Dolignan fell OF
it like tiger aud returned it like lamb
two or three words were interchanged on
that occasion. At Reading, the Mari
borough Of our tale made one of the safe
Investments of that day, he bough, 8
Times" and punch" the latter was
full of steol-pen thrusts and wood-cuts.-
Valor and beauty deigned to laugh atsome
inflated humbug or other, punctured by
Punch. Now l~1ghing' together thaws
our human ice; long before Swindon it
was talkiug match--at Swindon, who SO
devoted as Capt. Delignan; he handed
them out; he soopcd them; he tough
chickened them; on their return to the
carriage, one lady passed into the inner
compartment to Inspect certain gentle
mans seat on that side the line
Reader, had it been you or |, the beau
ty would have been the descrter, the av-
cragc one would have stayed with us, till
all was blue, ourselves included: not more
surely docs our slice of bread and butter
when it escapes from our hand, revolve it
ever so often, alight face downwards on
the carpet. Presently our Captain looked
out Of the window and laughed: this eli
cited an inquiring look from Miss Hay
thorn. eve are only mile from the Box
! Tunnel
"Do you always laugh mile from the
Box Tunnel said the lady.
"Invariably.'
What for."
"Why, hem, its Il gentleman joke"
"Oh, | don't mind its being silly if it
makes me laugh" Doli.nan thus cncour-
aged, recounted to Miss lIaythorn the
following: "A lady and her husband sat
together going through the Box Tunnel
there was one gentleman opposite; it
was pitch dark; after tie tunnel, the la
! iy said, 'Gcorgc, how absurd for you to
salute me going through the tunnel. y
did no such tning.-'You didn't No,
why;'-'Why, because somehow | tho't
you did,
/ Here Capt. Dolignan laughed and en-
deavorcd to lead his companion to laugh,
but it was not to be done--the train en-
tered tho tunnel.
Mss H. "Ah"
! DoI,gnop. ''What is the matter"
Mss n II am frightened"
Doigna" l,uoving to her side, "Pray
10 not be alarmed, | am near you
Mss T. You are near me, very near
me, indeed, Captain Dolignan,
Doi,gnan. 'You know my name
Mss IL 'I heard your friend men
tion it. wish We were out of this dark
place.
Doiiynon. al could be content to
spend hours here, rcassuring you, young
| lady"
| Mss H. "Nonscnsen'
| Doliynaa. "Phecp" Grave reader,
do not put your lips to the cheek of the
next pretty creature you meet or you will
know what that means
Mss II "Eh, Eh. En-
Friend. "What is the natter"
Mss H. "Opcn the door. Open the
door"
There was sound Of hurried whs-
| pers, the door was shut, and blind pull
ed down with hostile sharpness
If any critic falls on me for putting
inarticulatc sounds in dialogue as above,
answer with all the irsolence can COM
mand at present, "lIit boys as big as
yourself, bigger perhaps, such as Sopho-
cles, Euripidcs and Aristophanes they
began it and | learned of them sore
against my viii
Miss Haythotn's scream lost part of
its effect because the engine whistled
forty thouand murders at the salIe mo-
mcnt; and fictitious grief makes itself
heard when real cannot
Between the Tunnel and Bath our
young friend had time to ask himself
whether his conduct had been marked
by that delicate reserve which is suppos-
ed to distinguish the perfect gentleman
With long face, real or feigned, he
held open the door,--his late friends at
tempted to escape on the other side,-
impossible! they must pass him She
whom he had ipsulted Latin for kiss J
deposited somewhere at his foot look of
gentle blushing reproach; the other,
whom he had not insulted, darted dag
gers at him from her eyes and so they
parted.
Captain Dolignan told this gentleman
that he had the grace to be friends with
Major Haskyns of his regiment, veteran
laughed at by the youngsters, for the ma
lor was apt to look coldly upon billiards,
balls and cigars; he had seen cannon
balls and linstocks. lie had also, to tell
the truth, swallowed good bit of the
mess-room poker, but with with it some
sort Of moral poker, which made it as i'm
possible for Major IIoskyns to descend to
All ungentleman- like word or action as to
brush his own trowses below the knee
Captain Dolignan told this gentleman
his story in gleeful accents but the Ma
jor heard him coldly, and as coldly an
swered, that he had known a man loose
his life for the same thing. "Thot is
nothing" continued the Major, "but un-
fortunately he deserved to loose it"
At this the blood mounted to the young
man temples, and his senior added, II
mean to say he was thirty y-fve; you pre-
| sumo are twenty-one,'