Wilmington journal. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1844-1895, 1858-10-01
How the Major ss Blew OH Himself

There is a class OF men who, by some popularity OF
disposition, acquire so fixed habit of paying atten-
ton to what is passing around them that they become
preudiced against knowing what is going on in the
world, well against seeing anything that be
avoided. TO member of this class of the community
the streets all the same, the buildings all alike
and in walking about town half day, not single spot
is sufficiently noted to be recognized again If Of
these good od-fashoned gentlemen wants to ride in
omnibus the chances twenty 20 that he gets in
the wrong one, for they precisely alike to him and
if he proposes to himself to 60 up town the cars
there is strong probability that he would get board
steam train for Carrollton.
We give the above sort of rough-hewn introduc-
tion to estimable character, whom we shall call the
Major who has for many years resided in the most flour
ishng of our VS. Wis villages and who has ever been
distinguished for taciturnity except he met an old cum
in the evening when the days work ended. The
Major excellent mechanic, and much esteemed by
his friends his most serious difficulty with the latter
who reside him being habit OF occasionally be-
coming absorbed, walking into some ncighbors house,
pulling off his coat, and asking dinner is most ready.
Some few years SINCE couple of acquaintance dropped
into the Majors shop and asonished him with the
nouncement that their mutual friend Jack -, the
skfbuider, had suddenly slipped his painter and put
out into the unknown of eternity The funeral had
been fixed for the afternoon of the day, and as
Jack - had been one of his chums, the Major swore
roundy that he would follow him to his last stopping
place and see him slowed away
In the afternoon the Major having probably been
urged by grief for the loss of his friend paid at
tention to getting himself up be presenable and
sailed out to attend the funeral He had not proceeded
far before he met mournfu pageant vending its way
to the ferry and he at joined n 1t is related Of
the Major that when the procession marched into the
st. Louis Cemetery, he at one instant struck with
the fact that it wasn't Girod street Cemetery but this
impression failed to fix itself upon his mind and absorb
ed in grief and meditation he gazed abstracty at the
ceremonies which were conducted by Catholic priest.
He thought this all wrong, he knew his friend
Jack not Catholic but these thoughts were in
capable OF making an impression, and although he had
expected with much certainty that he would go to
the funeral, that the Rev. Mr.. L would Oficiate he
made no attempt to solve the problem of why not
When all over, and the Ma or was again in the
street his way home he suddenly remembered that
had not seen any of his acquanances Cogitating up
the various matters connected with the death and
burial of poor Jack he arrived the other side of the
river and of bis friends who had Just returned
from another funeral The Maj Or at once pitched into
the delinquents he regarded them and for unin-
terrupted term of five minutes he gave specimens of the
talest kind of swearing he charged them with ne
gecting to attend Jacks funeral, and allowing him to
be buried by Catholic priest instead of Mr. L.
At this juncture perfect of laughter caused the
Majors throat to fill with indignation and he choked
off. The plain at once. He had fotoWed the
urOng funeral and had devoutly assisted at the last
obsequies of entire stranger while his friend Jack
being quietly entombed at the food of Grod street.
The Major has been acturn than since that
OCCASION and it is not particularly safe to attempt
conversation with him about funerals.
MARRYING A BR1DEsMAID-A few weeks since, in
the neighborhood Of ST. Barnabas, lover conducted
his intended bride to the altar marriage ceremony
proceeded with regularity until the fair was asked
the question, "Wit thou have this for thy welded
husbandp p' To which, with much apparent sincerity
she replied mo" The poor bridegroom gazed upon her
with astonlshment but expostulaton could induce
her to alter her resolution. She frankly replied that
she had just gentleman whom she liked better
This declaration soon brought matters to crisis The
marriage ceremony was suspended, and the clergyman
politely conducted the parties to different DOORS The
bridegroom disgusted with such conduct than
titled at his disappointment, declared that his affections
from that moment were alenated and that nothing
should induce him to take the lady, if her resou-
tion were to alter. Mr.. G. B. the lady's brother
finding him in such good spirits, intmated that
splendid dinner would be prepared at his house much
time and expense would be spared if be would return to
the church and conclude the ceremony with Of the
bridesmaid. The hint instantly TAKEN and the pro
osas made and as the fair herself had no objec
ton special license instantly procured they got
married at the Identical church the identical morn
ing and afteward partook Of the identical dinner pre-
pared for the changeable one.-Court Journal.
/ Health Of Savannah.
/ SAVANNAH September 22-The official report of the