Cooper's Clarksburg register. [volume] (Clarksburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1851-1861, 1858-07-30
''KIVER UP, STRANGER, TILL THE
GALS UNDRESS.1


There is a spot, in the south. western
part of this State. known as the Fiery
Fork Of Honey Run''-a delicious local
Of course. accompanied By correspond
ing dow of milk, a mixture of milk and
honey. or at any rate. honey and peach
is the evidence Of sublunary contentmen..
every place where they have preachIngl
Honey Run is further christianized by
the presence Of an extremely hospitable
family. whose mansion, comprising one
apartment-neither more nor less-is re-
nowned for being never shut against the
traveller. and so our friend found it du-
ring the chill morning air at the expense
Of rheumatism in his shoulder-its nu.
merous unaffected cracks and spaces
clearly showing that dropping the latch
was a useless tormality. The venerable
host and hostess in their one apartment,
usually enjoy the society of two sons,
tour daughters. sundry dogs and mig.
gers and as many dodgers as may deem
it prudent to risk the somewhat equiyo-
cal allotment of sleeping partners. On
the night in question, our friend, aft r a
hearty supper of ham and eggs, and a
canvass OF Fiery Forkers-the old lady
having pointed out his bed-felt very
heavy. and only looked for an opportuni
~ to turn ill., though the mosquitoes
were trunpeting all sorts OF wrath, and
no net appeared 10 bar them. The dogs
flung themselves along the floor, or again
rose, restlessly. aud sought the door step,
the 'niggers' stuck their feet into the yet
warm ashes; and the old man tripped,
unscrupulously. and sought his share of
the one collapsed looking pillow. and the
sons cavaIierIy followed his example,
leaving the old woman. gals. and 'stran-
ger, to settle any question Of delicacy
that mi sht arise.
The candidate yawned, looked at his
bed. went 10 the door, looked ut the
daughters; finally. in down right reck-
lessness. seated himself upon the down
ney.' and pulled off his coat. Well, he
pulled oil his coat. and then he yawned,
aud then he whistled, then he called the
old lady's attention 10 the fact that il
would never do 10 sleep in his muddy
trousers; and then he undid his vest, and
then he whisGled again. and then sudden
ly. an idea of her lodger's possible en-
OodAASSW0uN SSGLuCN W AaSu upOu tue OIQ
woman. and she cried:
Gals, just turn your backs round till
the stranger gifts into bed
The backs we're turned, aud the stran.
ger did get into bed in less than no
Ime.' when the hostess again spoke:
Reckon. stranger, as you aint used to
US, you'd better kivcr up ill the gals uu>
dress. hadn't you?
BY this time our friends sleepy ft was
over. and. though he did 'kiver up as
desired, somehow or other the old couu-
Ierpane was equally kind in hiding his
bushes. aud tavoring his sly gl.nces.
The nymphS soon slowed away, for there
were neither hustle TO unhitch. nor cor
sets To unlace. when their mamma, evi.
denLly anxious not 10 smother her guest,
considerably relieved him. You can
unkiVer now. stranger; I'm married
folks. and you ains ateard of me, reck
onl
The stranger happened to be married
folks himself; he unkivered and turned
his back with true connubial indifference,
as far as the ancient lady WAS concerned
but. with regard to the gals be declar-
ed that his half raised curiosity inspired
the most Iormenting dreams of mermaids 5
that ever he experienced.