Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, Va. [W. Va.]) 1852-1859, 1858-09-15
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IRtshis.es will the last story of Of Pats
amusing blnnders be told? Not withinIthe pre.
sent century, we are sure. A. ffavorites subject
for eedotes is Paddy and horse. Fron1the
most Of this description one would judge that
horsses must m be as scarce IN Ireland as snakes
and toads, aconclusion scarcely borne out by
the facts Here, however, are a couple of them.
which will serve as specimen Of the average:
Dennis Murphy, a native Of the Emerald Isle.
soon after his arrival in this country got place
with Mr. ludson, who had a. habitsof giving or.
ders IN q snort, speremptory. manner. One iday
.hetordered Dennis ito2put the horseinto theiwa.
gon, and fetch him in front of the door. Dennis
was gone some time and JndsOnis patience eaye
out Judson went! to the barn, and found Dim
mis- struggling hard to put the horse into the
body of the owagon. Heavens sake yyhatsore
you doing, Dennis? said Judson. "Shlire, and
didn,t: you telLme to. put the horse in the wa
gonS" ~.
MrssJudson, one washing ,day. asked5Dennis
to.pnt some wet garments on the horse. Dennis
takes the unmentlopables and goes to the stable.
land puts theswet clothes on the old bob.tail nag.
Mrs, 1dSons sotnes time afterwards went to the
garnet, where the horse(a frame totl1ane wet
Eclothes on)a was; and not seeing the GARMENTS
called Dennis,up,tand asked7hinswh he had
done with the articles. Faith, and I put 'em
on the horse in the stable,' said Dennis, who
afterwards went into Mysteries on finding that
the horse had trampled them into the manure.
And heTeis another, ola differentnature de-
failing transaction,i in which Pat probably got
his deserts, whatever may be thought of Mick
ey's course ofreasoning:
Ell Icatch yeer near my house aeain..Iil
break your neck, ye rascal!"
Bat youiasked me I'd your home, YOURSELF"
Yes, 7didn'tRsk yees to make love to
my wife, ye scoundrel!'' Sts ,s4rs&E
81 "l-havn't made love to Your wife: yo,, are Ia
boring under Some mistake" ~ -.
7"Don't1tell me that now; didn't Il see We wild
my own,eyes, tryin to come the blarney over
her! and w"rn't ye after doing your best to
orlng disgrace upon me tamily?" ~ &tt4S5
"But tell you | didn't do.any such think.-
don't care that for your wife, giving his ting
ers, n snap, al. the word that i9 =
'Yees don't care for her, hey? She's asgood
woman as you are, any dnY, ye dirty black
guard, and fyees spake disrespickfu uv5her
iii be afther tachih'ye bettheriInanners, y
And then Mickey gave Patrick sound bast.
ing for not caring for his. wife. 5,..g
GETTING EvEN.-NYho ever comes out second
best in a financial operation, "a conflict of wit,
or a Pugilistic encounter, that does not mentally
resolve to a"get even2" An individual who
bucks against faro until heis teetotally clean.
ed out about six times in succession, will, ten
to one, deposit the first ten dollars he earnsiaf
terwardsin. the same banking sinstitutioninith
determined, resolve to- 'sget event. The Nea0I
Hampshire Statesman gives an. account of a
man bound to 'tget even,' who succeeded very
tolerably,iplhis l9udables Undertaking:
In an interior town ofthis state, there resided
Mt one time, an erratic genius, whose mental
calibre was estimated by his neighbors to be
considerably below what legai enactments would
permit him to possess. Call his name Avery
10 have a little fun'onc warm day, .SqdirefW.,
called on Avery, and asked iii would 20 into
small Especnlation with him, where but little
capital M :, would be required. "Fo be sure he
would Then said the squire, grandilo-
lquently, take your spade and follow ne.p-2
Avery, in an ecstatic state OF mind, obeyed..-
The squirrel led theiway The river EariC contins
ucd: sEfhere, Mr.. Avery, IsawA w6odchuck!
run into that holeSthere; take your spade and
| dig him out, aud we'll l4make Something by the
operations" @ k & aS22it3 ls}4EYE i;
Mister Avery comprchepded his P6sitiprf fn!
the joke, and retired to his home to studyaupl
redress. twas long beforeaIfitting OCCASION
presented. At length he heard that SquiFefW.
had lost q swarm of bees. Imam out ofttheway
Ebuilding he knew of a fair sized nest of hornets
and he ascertained, by course of ex pertinent,
that few raps olithe exterior of tile building
brought out the enraged- occupants to discover
the cause of the unseetnly disturbance. gi5 Y
He, thenicalled atethe Office ofithe squire, and
stated that, be had heard n report of his losing
ESome bees. The truthsOf the rumor was con-
ifrmed. Well, Squire W., follow me, andI
think we can find your. Swarm So he led off
to the out building; and as thesquire entered he
barred all egress, and repeated the mystic raps
in the9p proper locality, and awaited tho result
There was dire commotion within, and "a htlr-
Eylng to and fro like the night before Waterloo.
Remarks imprecatory md damnatory, reaehed
ms ear, closed up with an humble petition to be