Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1858-10-13

Oh love US ut home! For, this treasure we plead,
With all else, this withheld, VIC are poor indeed
Take all, but leave this, and with voieesagreed.
We will sing with glad hearts, whatever our need,
"Thcy still love us-they love US at home -
GATHERINGS. Z.
HE Alta public dinner at Springfield, Mass,
a lady sent the following volunteer toast:
SPRUCE old bachelors-the EVER GREENS OF
society.
e" You have very striking counte-
nance" rs the donkey said to the elephant when
he hit him over the back with his trunk. 80
e WAR DECLARED AGAINST TEXAS BY
IEDrANs.-Galveston papers Of the '2lst instant
are received via New Orleans. They state that
the Northern Camanches, Kowas, and q part
of the Apaches, numbering fourteen Indian
bands in oil, have declared war against .Iexis-
E@ ScolplNc WIvEs.-A carpenter Las
been for some time repairing dwelling whose
mistress is reputed termagant. Listening to
her as she vented her wrath on her good Ia-
tured &C Old man" the other day, Shavings turned
to us and said: "If had such wife aa that,
I'd point her funeral tomorrow u o'clock,
and by Jocks, the corpse would BE- rcsdy"
I&A waggsh friend says, il your wife is
everlastnely complaining of being sick justcl let
her catch you kissing the hired girl and an in
slant cure will be effected He has tried &e
experiment, and the result was that he has ner-
er had to pay cent for "help" since.
e IRISH young lady had
her parasol carried away by gust of winds II
was picked up by an honest son Of the Emerald
Isle, who returned it with tho compliment:
Faith, Miss, an If ye was sthrong As ye''e
handsome, be jabers, hurricane couldn't hars
snatched it from ye."
g GIT .MAnRIED.-1f you wish to grow
one vice will keep six children, Until : young
man is married, lie is tossed about from ons:de
gree Of unsodliness to. another, till bis. health,
strength and character are completely tbusted
un and done for Talk about your Congress
water and sea bathing-but there is nothing on
the face of the earth for the health, happiness,
and well being Of any person equal. to loving,
virtuous woman.
e 1t is stated, upon the authority Of those
who have heard it, that q cat, when her tail Is
pinched between door and post, utters the
vowels a, @, j, O, u, with great Gistinctne.s. II
the injury is prolonged, she gives ", and y, also:
E. In Arkansas, when fellow desires to
say that he would like a drink, he declares that
if he had a glass Of whisky he would throw
himself outside Of it mighty quick.
g A placard, suspended in car on the
Georgia Railroad, contains the following words:
" A gentleman will he known in these cars by
keeping his feet off the seats and his tobacco In
his pocket"
EE A dutch grocer's wife up towp, Who
patronises dentists and BARRIERS, or in other
words, who wears artificial teeth and hair, was
engaged in familiar chat with an Irish customer
the other day, when she was asked, Have you
cot naturalized yet 7' How the dickens could
I see to work and make out my way il hadn'.7"
was the indignant aswer. Natural eyes, il
deed To be sure have, an always had, s1'
moro than that, have natural hair and teeth
too." ,aa
E oman" Eplron.-The editor Of a
Western paper having lent his axe to one OF his
subscribers, tho borrower unfortunately broke
off the handle. On returning it the man said,
" You can easily have it repaired" eyes" re-
piled the editor, but that will cost at least .
quarter of dollar" "Wcll," rejoined the bor-'
rover elf you amt rather small for m editor!
Here's the quarter, but Ill thank you to stop
my paper"
e Everybody likes polite children; worthy
persons will pay attention to such, speak well
Of their good manners, and entertain high
opinion Of their parents. Children, make
note of this.
EE midshipman asked priest to tell
him the difference between priest and jack
ass The priest gave it up. Zone wears .
cross ON his back, and the other on his breast"
said the midshipman. "Now," said the priest,
"tell me the difference bstwt en- midshipman
and iackass," The midshipman gave it up,
and asked wbst 1t was. The priest said he did
not know Of any.
E An editor speaking Of ono Of bis breth.
rcn Of the quill noted for bi, fatness, said that
if the Scripture Prorerb that "all flesh is grass"
be true then that man must be load OF hay.
To which the fat editor replied: II suspect
am from the way the asses are nibbling at me-"
EE- Nor so OBvIors-"I can't bear chill
dren," said Miss Prim disdainfulIy.
Mrs. Partington looked up at her over her
spectacles mildly before she replied, "Perhaps
if you could you would like them better"
EE"My native city has treated me bsdly,''
said drunken vagabond, but love her still"
Probably" replied gentleman, her stills
all you do love-"
man OF sense does but one thing At
time, and resolves TO excel it; for what's worth
doing at all ought to be done well.
No life can be we'll ended that has NOT
been well spent; and what life has been we'll
spent that has had no purpose, that has accom-
plishea no ohject-that has realized no hope:
Since the commencement Of the search
for MIR. Tburston, Aeronant in the swamps Of
Michigan and Canada West, the bodies Of two
men have been discovered, but neither was
identified as that of DR. TLurston. The Detroit
Free Press thinks it is established, beyond
doubt, that Lis body is in the Marsh near the
mouth Of the River Thames. =, 81
E-a Vcrmonters live to a great age, as b
well known. There arc two .men SO old that
they have forgotten who they are, sud there are
no neiglbors who car. remember.