The Tiffin tribune. [volume] (Tiffin, Ohio) 1848-1859, 1858-02-26
088s nn0 GpGs

srmer went to h.s minister wilh The FOL.
lowiag inquiry'
story they tell about the earth moving
roa1i The sun ~
Eyes, oertainly"
"Do YOU think its according to the
sculptures? II It's true. how could
1oshua oonmsud che sun 10 stand slillg'
"Unphl" quoth the doctor, scratching
bis heal. "Joshua commanded the sun ~
stand sill, did he ?"
YES"
"Ngan, Il stool, did II MOTIF
"Yes."
"Yery I'd you ever hear he set
Il agoiag agaia9"
Tus RAaaao pnLosoPuEH. The FOL.
lSwinr convsrsalion was overhead by the
editor OF the Boston Journal, between
tw5 iiapi late1 men. Mother Of them
would probably be able to describe the AZ
pearapoe Of a i've dollar bill;
"Wall, how's money!
awful tight" was the reply,
avail, | guess il is" exclaimed he
of the torn brim: AMI, assuming a wise
loik. he aided: II knew IL long ago. 49,
Diin't tell Spencer when tho bank up
here b A. "a small country town lot
forty thousand dollars 90 to speouhtin'
out west. that It would DO the ruin Of this
o0lutryl Anl now the country does
suffer-. and we all suffer with it. The
alupid fools; / know'd I'd come right
] am glad ONT, II I DO haze 70 take my
sharei"
PRoCRAsrISArtoN. Near tho close Of
his hfo Patrick Henry laid his hand on
the Bibl5. aud said 20 a friend, Here is a
book worth more than al others; yet IL Is
my misfortune never 10 have read IL with
proper attention until lately. William
PITT, when he came 10 die, said, i fear
that I have, like many others, neglected
my reli giou3 duties 100 much 10 have any
ground to hope that they can be elii5a-
oious on my death.
A man called upon a lawyer tho other
day. and began 10 state his case in rather
an abrupt manner. 'Sir. have come 10
you for advice; TN a husband in.lnwl'
a whatY spoke out the learned counsel
'Husbanl-in law, sirl' Il have noyor seen
that defined in domestic relations Don't
you know what husblnd-in law Isl? Sir.
you're no lawyer; you're an ignommusl
l avn a husbaud.in.iap, but not in Iacf
sir--my w,fe's run OIL
A broker aot long ago, when esoorlinp
homo q fair damsol, asked what sort Of
snohey did she like best OF course the
blusdng beauty instantly suggested mat.
rimony.' What interest docs Il brinp?'
inquired tho man Of current funds and
Western wildcat discounts 1T proper.
~ invested faltered the fair oharmer, IL
properly invested. il would double the
original stock every two years.
THIS MrpDLEa-Thore Is a maddler in
almost every community. An obsequi.
Gus busybody about other peoples bus.
ness, which ronders him, OF all others, the
greatest annoyance TO society. He's q
bore 10 the superlative sense of the term
He labOrs without thanks talks without
redit-lives without love or rospeot--
dies without tears and without pity--ex-
oept some one would say, 'it was a pity !
he had not died sooner
A SrRoNa METAPHOR is there no con
neotion between your use and this abuse?
Look down into that black swamp Of |,
baastliness, that pool Of loathsoms intem-
perenee. Did it spring up spontaneously
there? No, It has been led by rills trick
ling from tho heights of responsibility, |
and through marble aqueduots Of fashion. |
[E. II. Chaplin.
AN old fellow being visited by his
pastor, no assured him that no could not |
bs a good christian unless he took up his |
daily GROSS, whereat he caught up his
vito an1 began luging her about the
room.
There is a good story tol / Of young
m9a who had light aud incipisnt mus.
Iaoae. oae day while lingering the few
hairs; he said TO HlrrY--"iadn't | bet
ter dye this mlstaohap oh. no.. re-
pliei Harry, let it alone. and it will die
Of ITSELF
RV"Dii YOU ever 20 to military
billg" inquired lively girl Of an old sold
Ter.
"No, my dear" replied the old war
rior, "in my days, tho military balls al
ways came to US"
a wom,a is at the bottom Of all mis-.
ohi3t, snt Joa, 4 ss,' sht trank, and
when u'oi to get into mischief, my
mother was at the 52iioa Of mol'
A priater in setting up. we are but
Paris Of a stapenloas whoIa, by mistake
Of letter made il read. 'Ws are but
parts Of a sLupandous whale.
'My Jones, you said you were conneo.
tei with the line arts. Do you mean by
that you are a soulptorP
NO, cir, | don't seulp myself, but /
hHnish the stone to tho man what does.
A sick glutton sent for the doctor.
4 have lost my appetite, said he. Ia
great alarm.
'All the better. said the Doctor: you'll
DO sure to die il you recover IT,
A traveller in the baokwoods met with
. settler near a house. and enquired,