The emigrant aid journal of Minnesota. [volume] (Nininger City, Minn. Terr. [i.e. Minn.]) 1856-1858, 1858-01-27
From the Philadelphia Bulletin.)
LOVE AND REVENGE.

Oh. how I hated him-how I hated Richard Einely
-kneeling by my side, with that sort OF hooking
triumph lighting up his deep eyes, and his proud, thin
lips. half parted, as if in expectation that | would say
something that be might wish to check. And who
would not have hated him as [ did Let me tell you
how it was.
] had loved him more than a year-loved him, Heav'
en- only knows how passionately. Not more bllndly or
entirely does the silkworm weave itself with Its own
shroud, than | wrapped myself up in his pleasure, his
admiration, his love. Not more trustingly turns the
fearless eagle to its mountain eyrie than l, foolish and
con6ding turned to the bright, beautiful castles OF hope
which | had built on the rotten foundation of his faith.
And yet n never thought of it till that day and oh,
with what d humiliatiug weight the knowledge came TO
me , he had never asked me for my love-neVer asked
nae for it openly, save by tender glanccs and pressures
Of the hand, and those thousand delicate attentions
which are most precious to the jealous eyes and ears OF
affection. But I had not dreamed that such q passion
as mine could be poured forth and bring me no return.
I did not even imagine that his apparent devotion could
be wrongly understood and so l blindfolded myself,
and bewildered, content, happy, rushed forward to de-
spair.
That afternoon we had been sitting in the garden,
talking to each other, as we had many times before, OF
our past lives. The dreamy music which the wind made
as it stirred the trees above us and the fresh, SWEEP
smell of early flowers with which the spring air was load
ed. seemed Just the outward influence needed to soften
our hearts, and draw them most nearly into sympathy
and when in his quiet, manly way, he told me the story
.of his life-of the father who died before his remem.
brance. and the sweet mother who had closed her eyes
in their eternal sleep ere the grass had twice grown
green over her husbands coffin Of his desolate, friend
less. struggling boyhood, showing me- one oy one' III! Ms
weary steps he had climbed telling me SO gratefully
how my hands had sown roses in the steep way ana al
the close, saying with such a serene smile -
sHelen, | would suffer my life ever again a thousand
times, rather than give back this day; my heart was
filed to OVERLOOKING. /, too, was an orphan, and knew
xL~-Ik l~v rr.1l m nrlIdU,
:no,y the world had laid its hands upon him as he toied
onward in its service. How glad [ was that l mad al
rays been kind to him, that | had kept my heart free
unsullied and womanly, as the browning gift of his sue
cess and JOY. ,.-
wept, moved deeply by his eloquence, and leaning
towards him, with a quick, 'mpetoous movement are"
his head forward with my hands, and pressing my lip
20 his white forehead, kissed him-not lightly and co
nnet;shIv-but reverently and tearfully. For a momen
he bowed his head, and l could not see his face bu
when be looked up its expression startled me, the cnang
had been SO sudden.
Dc you know said he, slowly, dropping MS. his eye !s'
a.forc nv look of wondering inquiry, that think tn
oo. yho hestows the tokens of her love unsought
lowers herself beneath the respect Of him vine become
their recipient?'
I am sure | should not have understood him, but fol
the meaning, sarcastic smile with which he spoke.
ssw then, in a moment, his whole power over me;
cav how be had led me on cautiously, artfully, tHroug
love to pity, and through pity to humiliation | say
that for an ignoble triumph over my woman's pride h
had sacrificed his truth, and would sacrifice my heart
I saw him degraded from an honest, loving, noble heart
into a fend, and for my life l could not have answered
save to strike or curse him. He read my feelings in m.
face, l suppose, for he laughed ironically. ne spoA
again, and l was forced to listen.
Helen Reade, you need not look SO fierce, SO bitter
so scornful in your anger, thinking to deceive me. 70.
love me, and | know it. You would have waded will
naked feet through seas of fire, rather than give me vi
as YOU are doing now. You would-wait till hav
done he continued, when | would have interrupte'
him. DO YOU remember the time when l went to you
1--WE wears ago, and offered you what now would be you
highest bliss to own ? DO you remember how yo'
LAUGHED nv words to scorn, and scoffed a: me as a Sill.
bow, who had mistaken himself and you Ay, was
boy in years, Helen Reade but a man S understanding
a mans experience, a mans passionate strength OF pur
nose. had made me old before my time, and loved yo'
with as perfect a love as ever grew up in a human heart
I was proud !; and your Indifference, your gay, heartless
cutting Indifference CALLED me, and made disappointment
doubly bitter. / said then, as | left you with that dea
hope making discord in my breast, that some day you
heart should bleed as mine did then that some day
would mock your anguish with contempt as humlllatin
as that you heaped on me. Has not my hour of trump
come ? Have l not won you carefully, proudly, as hes
became the worthy object | was striving for? And oil
net know just now, when my blood tingled beneat
the pressure Of your arm, half shy, half connaen1, az
felt the warmth of your clinging lips upon my bro"
shat never before had you been SO completely, so unr'
servedly, mine ? Oh, Helen, Helen am | not glor
ously avenged now that 1 can toss back your heart q
lightly as 1 have won it, and know all the while that 70
love me, in spite of yourself and your mighty PRIDE !
Richard Vinely,' l began, as he ceased speaking
but the torrent of fierce words that leaped up holly ie
utterance choked me; my lips burned as though bill
tered by the souch of fame, and was forced to sfo
and steady my wild rage before I could proceed.
At length, in a hoarse, angry whisper, said
sYes. ] remember the time Of which you speak a
though, but for your delicate reminding, l might ncv'
have called it to my mind again. l was a youn'
shoughtless, ignorant girl; l did not understand you'
the nature of the feelings you proposed to bear me ;
answered you as any other giddy, in1onslderate ca.
would have done but Heaven knows / meant nS Safi
be, a manly, a generous revenge You have cherish
the slight Of a needless girl, forgotten by her as soon
it was given, and kept it ranking in your memory :