Randolph County journal. [volume] (Winchester, Randolph County, Ind.) 1855-1862, 1858-10-21
From waverly Magazine.
The Fright aud WRONG Way.

more familiarly callel. His occupa-
tion was that Of retail grocery keeper
Two very prominent traits exhibited
themselves in his character-oparics
and drunkenness Which os these
passions mostly predominaiea was
well understood by all who knew him.
AS much as he loved intoxicating
drinks. he loved gold more. lie has
been known TO stand for days and
weeks amidst barrels ard decan,ers.
and all the illuremcnts to entice the
appctites Of others. and never touch
drop. But let one Of his customers
call for half a pint (they never bought
less in those days. and leave some Of
it, no matter what kind. and Jonny
Byers would not return il TO the vessel
from whence he drew il; nor, by any
means, would he throw il away. he con-
sidered it clear gain. and would drink
it himself From this grocery "waii"
he derived all his grog.
A waggish patron Of Johns know
ing well his frugal habits. determined
to see to what extent he could be car
ried by them. One morning in April.
Bob (for that was his name) called at
the grocery. and asked for a glass OF
sody-water.
at is early in tho season; besides !
don't know as l have any of the pow
ders; wouldn't lemnoade do as well?"
said Johnny.
Il must have soda or nothing" re.
piled Bob.
LET me see if ! can find box"
said the grocery-kceper; and. after g
considerable search. produced small
oblong box containing the desired pow
ders. and a printed label on the top.
directing how they should be mixed,
etc.
"1i's been Sc long since l made any
l have forgotten how il is compound
ed" continued Johnny.
Putting on his glasses and takius Up
the box, he read in an undertone, but
sufficiently loud for Bob to hear, as
follows: put the contents Of the
white paper in tumbler one-third
filled with water, and the contents of
the blue paper in another tumbler half
filled with water; put the lemon-syrup
in the tumbler containing the contents
Of the white paper. mix and drink while
effcrvescing." He mixed the powders
according to the directions, but when
he turned to get the sirup. Bob changed
the tumblcrsl AS soon as the syrup
reached the scda, the combination
commenced lime-slacKing bubbling.
Jerusalem! | have missed it' said
Johnny. Throwing the contents of
both tumblers together. he gulpcd the
"ill-brewed beverage" down, and as
the last Of it passed his larynx. his
countenance gave unmistakable signs
that strange and suspicious guest
was forming a searching acquaintance
with the coats Of his stomach. He
washed the glasses, and said he was
not particular enough in reading the
instructions, etc After close exam
nation of the label, he made a second
effort, with the same result, as Bob
changed the glasses again. With a
loud and profane exclamation, Johnny
swore he had missed it again. and
again swallowed the disjointed fluid.
Relieving his now crowded stomach
with loud belch, he cleaael again
his tumblers. and asseverated loudly
there should be no mistake the next
time.
Placing his hat on the counter, and
putting the top OF the box containing
the label on it, he read loud enough TO
be heard across the street. Put the
contents Of the blue paper in one tum-
bier. the contents of the white in an
other; pour the lemon-syrup in the tum-
bier containing the contents of the
white. Here it is on my right and on
your left; there can be no mistake this
time" AS he turned 10 get the sirup,
Presto. chance.' and Bob had him
again Astonishment. irnpatience. and
anger, were visible in his countenance,
when, with a desperate effort. he shut
his eyes, threw back his head, and
swallowed, for the third time, the in
congruous mixture. He complained
Of sour belch, water -hrash, and an in
clination to burst openl told Bob he
must call in the evening, and il he sur-
vived, would learn by that time hov to
mix the 'stuti."
Bob would not be put OF; must have
the soia-water then or never. insisted
ths. the man who put up the powders
made mistake-those in the blue pa
pers he intended for the white. and
rice versa.
Johnny caught at the idea. prepared
for fourth trial. and this time Bob's