Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1858-08-25

q bear Or whipp'd a wild cat, but l went it.
eat the whole in about q mint.
Wall in about a quarter of on hour | begal
to feel kinder gripy here,' continued Ethan
pointing to the lower parts Of his stomach, "an
kept on iecn no better FAST till at last it seemed
as though Id got a steam ingen sawin' shingles
in me. | sot down on q cheer, and bent myscl
up like a nut.cracker, thinkin' Id grin and bea
it; but couldn't set still twisted and Squirmet
about like an angle worm on a hook, till at las
as the chap as gin me the cream, who had beel
lookin' on sniggerin says to me,
Mister" says he, what ails yer?'
calls me!' says I, {" that ere stuff Of your'l
is freezin' up my daylights," says l.
"Iou eat too much," says he.
81 tell yer | didn't screamed I; =" l know
what's enough and what's too much, withou
askin' you, and if you don't leave off snickerin
Ill spile yer face"
ale cottoned right down, and said he diln'
mean any hurt, and asked me if hadn't bette
take some gin. told him l would. So tool
purity good horn, and left the shop"
carter got out" continued Ethan, Il fel
better for mint or so, but hadn't gone fu,
aforc the gripes took me agin so went into
another shop and took some more gin; then
|
sot and sot, but didn't feel a mite better l be
then l thought of father and mother and of oil
Spankcr-that's fathers hoss-and when
thought that should never see en- agin, fair
ly blubbcred But then happened to look up
and see dozen boys GRIMM and lar6n' at me
tell Yer what, it riz my dander-that had go
down to nc'o-ritc up agin. Isprung at IN like
Il wild cat, hollcrin' out I'd shake their tarna
gizzards out, and the way the little devils scam
pcred was caution to nobody. But after the
'citemcnt ov thssrace was over, felt WIS agin
and l couldn't help groanin' an schreechin' as
went along.
"At last Thought I'd go to the theatre, but
al0re got there, the gripes got so strong that
had 10 go behind lncctin' house and lay down
and hol!cr. Arlcr awhile got up and went into
shop and cat Il half dollars worth of billed is
ters with four picked cowcumbers, and wound
up with glass OF brandy. Then l went into
the theatre and seed the plays, but felt so bad
that could not see any fun in EN-, for dom t
think the listers and the cowcunbers done me
any good. l set down, laid down, and stood up,
but still it went on, grippe, grippe. | groaned all
the time, and once in a while was obliged to
screech kinder easy. Every body starred at me,
aud somebody called out, "turn him outs once
or twice. But, at last just as the nigger Or
thello was goin' to put the spiller on his wife's
face to smother her, there cum sich q twnce
through me, that really thought 1 was burstin
up, and yelled ont-"Oh dear! OH scizsOrS p
SO loud that the old theatre run again. Such a
row you never seed the niggger dropped the pill
Ter, aad Deuteronomy-or what you call her
thcre--his vile, jumped off the bed and run.
while everybody in the theatre was all up in q
nuss, some larln, some swearin'. The upshot
0! it was, the perlice carried me out of the thea.
ire, and told me to make myself scarce"
"Wal rs | didn't feel any better, l went into
shop close by, and called for two glasses OF
brandy arter swalerin' it, went hum to the
tavern. sat down by the wnder, and tried to
think felt better, but twas no 60; that blasted
old ingine was still wallerin' away inside; so !
went out and eat quarters worth Of listers and
piece Of mincc pie. Then | went back and
told the tavern keeper felt kinder sick, and
thought Id take some Castor lie, a mouthful OF
cold meat, and strong glass of whiskey punch,
and then go to bed. lie got the lixins, which l
took and went to bed
"But, | tell yer what I had rather poor
night. Sometimes / was awake groanin', and
WncI WIS ">!Ncp u ucttcS UIu lWahe, iOr i
had such powerful dreams. Sometimes thought
was skinnn' q hear, and thea by some hocus.
pocus 'twould all change tother side to, and the
tarnal critter would be skinuin' me-
"Then, agin, Id dream that was rolling logs
with the hoys, and jest as I'd be q shoutin' out
=" now then! n!-here she goesl every thing
would get reversed agin-l was log, and the
boys were pryin' me up with their Landspikcs.
Then Id wake up and scrccch and roar-then
off to sleep again-to dream that Spanker had
run away with me, or that father was whipping
me or some other plaguey thing, till mornn'."
"Whan got up, l hadn't any appetite for
breakfast, and the tavern keeper told me that if
| was goin' to carry on scrcamin' and groanin'
as had the night aforc, my room was better
than my company
~ haain't," said Mr.. Spike, in conclusion ~
hain't bin to Portland since, but if live to be
as old as Methusalem, l shall never forget that
ALFRED Ice Cream