Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1858-10-15
THE OUTLAWS OF SOCIETY.


writers for lady reading, who flourish in family
papers and are vastly popular in this country
They affect the prompt, dashing, lively, up-to.
| snuff, no nonsense style, and are greatly given
to urging as an ideal woman n creatnre wbf
would be very perfect housekeeper, a very
| distrustful being, one increduIous of goodnes,
or decency In men, and a very disagreeable
person TO Keep company with. In fact, we
cannot md, among several slap-dash articles OF
this Affected common sense cast which wa have
examined, one which is not tinctured with a
rude vulgarity, a sneering, scheming spirit
full 1T Is true, of fun, but to the last degree in
sensible to all those better and more refined
influences which ought to constitute the prin-
cipal guides of a cultivated human mind.
Marriage is the great subject ON which these
writer's dllats with the greatest spirit, and a
greedy, selfish spirit it is. More than one
writer OF eminence has doubted whether this
continually urging on young girls the idea tha 1
TIE chief aim of life is to catch husband il
productive of good effects. That the idea pre.
walls, is unquestionably true. Are not tho ac-
compllshments Of our best and most expensive
scnoo!S-to speak the plain, honorable truth
rather after the nature Of q bait for a mouse.
trap, and is not the bait, in most cases, utterly
neglected after the mouse is caught? Would
1t not be really better if young ladies were edu.
Gated little more for themselves, and a little
less, we do not say for their husbands, but for
their beaux?
In no country on the face of the earth is eyery
young man reduced so promptly and plainly to
ms " intentions" as in America Does he or
does he not, wish to marry? II not, let him
rIght-about face. Marriage is the one solo idea.
the great game, and let those who are not in ii
get out OF the way Listen to what A writer of
the kind to which we allude says:
"Have nothing to do with these who have no
n1ed intention. They are such as will loll on
Clkn fNnrn Ah..I
and NIL your heads with silly nothingness, and
at the same time monopolize you for all your
iancy dances, play waiter behind your chair at
supper, be your humble servant at theatres
and concerts, and serenade you through three
years campaign. Whistle such danglers of.
Cut them dead after a short trial and begin
afresh If the man does not come to the pop
ping point after seasons frolicking, he will
not do 1t at all. He is not a marrying man.
and you had better hand such over to Young
sisters or nieces, just out of short dresses :"
All very common-sensible, bang up and
straightforward, but it is substituting extreme
cases to assume, as the above does, that every
man who does not come straight up to the mark
and propose at once, is mere dangler 1t is
this rushing iato marriage on short acquaint-
ance, which fills our courts with divorce cases
and certain class Of newspapers with spicy
details.
Ii is very difficult to discuss this subject as
1t should be treated. To merely dangle after a
young lady Is to do her great wrong But
girl who does not know enough of the character
OF q man paying his attentions, to see what he
is about and when to dismiss hIm. is not shrewd
enough to marry at all On the other hand the
treating OF every man one either to be re-
garded as a possible husband, or else TO he
hardly spoken to, produces in American soci-
ETY. effects which astonish foreigners Rich
men once continually surrounded by batteries,
whose brightest Jests once set the room in n
roar, can scarcely obtain recognition or more
than distant bows from belles, the instant the
report is raised that they are engaged. As for
the neglect of married ladies in society, it is a
national reproach. 1t may be said that many
parties are In this country, without exaggera-
ton, SO far as all the gayety is concerned, a.
much marriage markets as the slave bazaars of
COnstsntinople.
1t is all absurd, for men and women do not
lose intelligence, education or briliancy. by
being betrothed or married nor should thew in
consequence of it be debarred from congenial
intercourse with their fellow beings The idea
that love-making and that alone should be the
only reason for assembling friends, is, to say
tne least, slightly gross. Yet it has been in
this country fact for years. and the result
has been that ignorant boys and undeyeloped
girls, In by far too many circles, virtually rule
society, while the only topics ever discussed in
such circles are marriages and engagements,
engagements and marriages, cd ,nfnitmn.
The great remedy for il all will be a proper
system OF education; one in which an interest
in matters which refine the heart and tho in
tellect will take the place of the superfcisl ac-
complishment and beau-catching We are hap
py to see that a conviction of the truth of this
is beginning to gain ground in the rising gen.
Grafton itself, and efforts at rational sell -edu-
cation are becoming more frequent The cases
which we have described of rude, headlong,
greedy grasping at attentions, - and of think
ing and Of dreaming Of nothing else but how
to catch husband are it is true, in majority
but there is a powerful minority who are in a
great degree exempt from it, just as there are
weil-bred re~nioms, where the guest passes for
his intrinsic value, without regard TO his avail
ability for a husband. What we have said is.
we are however convinced, not without much
foundation in truth, and commend it to the
candid consideration Of our readers.-Phiko.
Bulletin.