Sugar planter. [volume] (West Baton Rouge [i.e. Port Allen, West Baton Rouge Parish, La.]) 1856-1925, 1858-05-08
4 TALE or AN ass.

PART /. INTRODUCTORY AND DESCRIPTIVE
Mr, Fox was not only a is citizen 0
renown but q jud'cious breeder OF stock
yet, accidents will happen, even IN The
, best regulated families, hs found himse
at one time, possessed of q uery sma1i
IJ0cEuas regular toeG-head-the moss
assleSs piece Of property that can posi-
IDLY ador7i d farmers grounds. Mr. Fox
resources were great bus this particular
eaniluaI baii1ed them; be had hitherto,
found it impossible to dispose Of him
either for love or money" As the last
resort. he resolved to bet hin, on sIle
election. So watching bis opportunity
and catching Major Jones, @iector Of TIC
State at large, III a good way one dav,
be I" bet his Jack against $500 that Bu-
ehannan did Mt get Tennessee. Burt,-
anan did get Tennessee, and Maj. Jones
got the Jack.
The Major lived in town; aud in due
course Of Time, the Jack was sent home.
Such an as be was! He was the size Of
a Newfoundland dog, and about as shay
gy, with q head the shape of bull ter
rier>s. His ears were as long as his body;
and altogether, be could be ploperIg
compared to nothing but u premium
rabbit in fact, as the town constable
facetious'y observed, "Et his tail was
| fhss cut of short, and a bunch Of cotton
stuck on TO The ee,!d of his back bone,
lie would Ties fool the best rabbi, dog
in the country" But his voice! Shade
OF Orpheus, to what shall we compare
his voice: It was like locomotive with
the w}'ooping cough, and as ineessanl
AS if forty thousand COWS were CONSTANTLY
on the track for,as The rector Of neigh
borhood In>titute learaediy and teeIingIf
remarked, he was "uor At pyeterue Mill t'
But all this vas lost Oil the Maior, who
not being a Judge Of hor~eaesh, put bis
ass his stable ana asked $500 for him.
! He soon fell, however, to $3.50, aud down
dcwo, until be got to S.. Aud finally,
| although he had exhibited The. animal
10 nearly the whole country, he found
he could not give him away.
In tie meantime, the aeiglborh ood
became loud in their complaints Of The
noise made on the Majors premises; for
the little animal, not content with bray
ing all day, made night more bideotIs
than Hau1Iel's fathers ghost = coming
it is true, like the spirit oI' tie royal Dane,
in questionable shape;;" but bringing
with him ls'ass!:s from Hell !"
Too late, alas ! the Major arose to the
consciousness Of lis position; he had
been sold-reguIar|y ssid But genius
Is daring-- he swore in bis wrath he |
would get ia f:4 ct that laekass. Like tie |
King Of Siam, he would bestow an eie- |
phant he would present lis ass in sucll
q way that although it might ruin his
victim to accept, he should NO be at lib
erty to refuse. So he writes to the Dis
trct Electer as follows:
Dear Sir The accompanying ami
NAL is some Of the spoiIs Of tile victory |
Of the Democratic party in the late great
contest. Feeling utterly unworthy OF
such trophy myself, present him to
you in tlle mama uf tie Democracy Of
old Aaurg, as a faint Acknowledgement
OF their appreciation Of your gallant
services in the late canvass.
rendering you the ASSURANCE i uly
most distinguished consideration. I have
the honor to Be, very respectfully,
..-~.. JONES'
Hon. Jas. Fl. Smith, <. NJ. G., DC.
The Major ribbed his hands and in
Tard!y cE.uckIed and bis neigh,ors
slept that might in peace. But, alas :! on
he following day, familiar voice sals,- j
ed bis ear, and his heart n1isgave him +,
fhe District E:eetor never having been (
o the court OF Siam, Contrary all the
'ules etiquette, returned the ass with the !
olowing note: S
Dear !sir:-=-I am truly proud of the (
very hatterlng manner IN which you al
ule TO my services in the late campaign {
But, as | cannot consent to wear al hon.
IT 50 justly belonging to another, re-
urn the valuable animal, hop. e be
nay long live to TRUMPET the fame Of the
Democratic party and his iilustrious
owner.
Awaiting myself Of this opportunity I
o assure you Of my distinguished con 1
'ideration, / have the honor to be, very {
yours. SMITH. t
Major Jones, K. N. c., DC. K
So lhe Jack was on the Majors hands /
sgajn and bray yed louder and more stren- I
ever, IS is proud Of The above |
which was published IN t