Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, Va. [W. Va.]) 1852-1859, 1858-11-03

THsE IN TIE III GEN GER.

ITHE INTEL g GEN GER.
HASTINGS op PuNcu-Under the caption,
''The Spirit of Humbug,o Punch falls foul Of
The Spiritual Telegraph. He says
Tie Spirit of Huna6ug. Amongst other alb
surditles, we see that there is newspaper cal.
led The Spiritual Telegraph The greater
number OF the contributors dwellin the other
world, which must be very great convenience
to the proprietors,a as the nature ofthe residence
must absolve. them from the necessity of paw
ment They are all paid, doubtlessly. with
drafts on the Bank of Faith. The first number.
of the above misty production contains an article
from the Spirit of John Knox, which. from.
the little we saw oft, did not seemslikely TO-
throw any writer ofthe present day into the
shade. The article, too, was decidedly mispla.-
ced, as no man likes TO receive Knox on. the
head , OF "rapping with any particular degree of
The comet..Master Tom. 81 say, Gran'ma,
this is badjob about the Cometl'
ter?"
Master Tom: ssWhy, here's alettersin the
paper says-sThe particles of the tail, if thrown
out from the head, having only, as before. the
same rate, of orbital motion as the head. and
having larger and larger orbits to describe, the
further they are removed from the head. will.
necessarily fall further and further behind as
they recede from the comet, and thus form a
curve independently of resisting medium and
that the panic-allaying doctrine of the tenuitY
of con1etic nuclei cannot be maintained from the
mere fact of their tEanslucency.'" TGran'ma
collapscs.l
d Geographical TN geographicallore.
null is ga Scotch term that is SYNONYMOUS
$50 says Webster) with cape or headland." We
hope this distinction will not be pushed too far
and that Yalentia is not destined to figure in our
future maps as the HMull of the Atlantic Tele-
graph"
Aarriage.-An incurable old bachelor. and
who seemingly rejoices in his infirmity, de-
scribes marriage as, "a female despotisrn tenn
percd by puddings."
English OecupGtions.--When woman has
nothing to do, she talks scandals
When u! man has nothing to do. he writes to
+Libelous. Editor. tDoublylibellous.-Do.
A DISCOURSE ON YEt WAsnERwoMGN, WHEREIN
THE SANE IS SCIENTIFICALLY TREATED.
Washerwomen are those that clense garmentes
sheetes, kerchieves, toweles, OF other lynen
and cotton fabricks. Ye washerwoman maybe
ofeyther white or dark complication. Some of
ye former belong toye Greek, Italian, or some
LIlGlT Suc0 as bridget
Q'Flynne, Annie O'Gradie, Margeret Fisherty,
and ye lyke showinge an obscure and almost
obsolete nationaltie. BUTT is more common
to see those ewhych are descendantes of African
nes engaged in 5yes busyness whereof we are
speakinge. In clensinge pieces, tub, water
soapo, andsa scalloped article of mechanism,
yelept washe board, are requisite, wYth qwan.
title of compounde known US elbow grease-
When ye clothes are purifcde, they are Suspen-
ded on lines fastened by pinnes or pegges, and
exposed to ye rays of ye sun for dryinge; and
also to ye felonious hande of ye robber. When
drye, they are subjected to ye hot iron, and
smoothcd readily for;use. In some countries it
is common to stiffen ye shirtes and so forth
withe fourSor withe starche, but ye Washerwo.
men ofy presente dayelhnthe abandoned thys
ancient habit. @
When 4ye washerWoman hath finished We
work of cleansing ye lynen, such as shirtes and
female garmentes (ye name whereofis unknown
toye wryter9 she cutteth ye buttones of,
whych causeth Ye owner Of ye said and unsaid
articles to wax exceedinge wroth, and to vent
imprecations of asevere kinde. Ye buttones
thus removed are bartered bV ye dozen, ain5ye
marts ofye City. Ye washe1woman taketh
vast pleasure in tearinge ye clothinge, although
It may not be said that she fractureth it by ye
rubbinge whych Is to make them clensed.
Ye su6jeckt of thys treatyse mamie tymes
tetcheth home clothinge which belonges not to
hym to whom she fetCheth it, but in that case
its qualite is alwayes ola much inferyor sorte.
Ye sockcs are in no case brought backe entyEe,
and do needle mamie darns which they get, and
damnes also, togmake use of a pleasant but pro-
fain expressione.
On certaine Sabbath dayes, whyle wonder
yne whyy washerw oman had not fetched home
hys lynen, ye wryter hereofdid see one of hys
own shirtes on ye back of. a gaye buck African
ne, and learned that ye Washerwoman had loan
ed ituntoye said negroe for ye daye, at the
price of ten centimes or one dyme Of our coin.
sp1cy GoReEsPoN The following notes,
which.are) Sufficiently explicit ttwithout any ex.
planadon, passed between two gentlemen:
Dear Sir Having occasion to make bus
mess engagement with Mr.. j. r. S. s. II wish
toinqnire Of you in regard to his character for
yeracity as I have frequently seen him in your
company. Apologising for the liberty.
Il am yours, truly,
'.P. RI"
s.Lsar ssiir.zTn- reply to your favor, which
required no apology, as am always ready to
enlightenmy friends when in my power, Iwould
say that for reputa alton, Mr.. s.. sustains a high
reputation. speak knowingly, from the fact,