The Union and eastern journal. [volume] (Biddeford [Me.]) 1854-1858, 1858-03-26
ninu,est circumstance of those horrible

read nv bible, talked with Christian friends,
and Immediately on meeting my compan.
ion of the night before, at school, excha ng-
ed the pledge with him that We would seek
religion until we found 1t. ] was IN ear.
nest. do think he was. He gave up the
pursuit in few days, and left me alone
prayed and wrought. sought the most
intense religious cxcitements. went to
all the PRAYER meeting. | summoned be-
fore my mind, the most vivid visions of CAL
vary, and sought to lacerate my soul with
sell denuncations. ! gave up myself to all
the impassioned pulpit defamation | could
find. Everywhere, IN everything, | strove
| to be stirred; md us week after week passed
away and still remained unconverted, the
horrible thought that ! was past salvation
took possession OF me.
al last cane Sabbath in early spring,
on the morning of which | determined, If
it were in my power to give myself to God.
The morning exercises we're closed, and !
was still the same unchanged sinner. The
Sabbath school was held and then the after
noon service commenced. The prayers,the
singing, the sermon-all were passed thro',
and was hearing the closing prayer OF the
afternoon. The meeting was coming rap
idy to conclusion, but had accomplished
nothing. felt that had come upon the
exact moment whPna decision was to be
made that would decide my eternal fate
| knew wanted to be Christian; that /
had striven towards Christian experience
with honest determination, yet ] felt con-
scious that my feeling was giving way, and
that, as excitement was dying. the old
temptations and sports Of boyhood were
showing themselves to me with an attractive
ness which made me shudder. | did not
believe the time would ever como when |
should feel more strongly than | had felt,
for sorrow and rcmorse had me in their
hands until was sore, and longed for rest.
The prayer was closed, and the pastor
stretched out his hands to give the benedic-
ton. My soul was not saved! ] could
have frightened that congregation from their
seats had given the natural expression to
my despair. let 20 Of everything, God,
conviction, remorsc, Christian counsel, hope
all! Had the earth opened beneath me,
should hardly have been surprised. Had
bolt from Heaven sInlttcn me, the fact
would have harmonized with my iorebodngs.
1t was preclpitate plunge into the gull OF
despair.
And now comes the strangcst part Of all
this business. felt as do sometimes in
nightmare dreams, when from great height
have been precipitated down vast depths,
starting with terrible velocity, but coming
down softly at last, and alighting upon
down, my own body as light as down. cx-
pected despair, but there came In its stead
a deep, sweet peace. My heart was still.
The tempest, in my mind had passed away,
and the sun was shining. ] did Cot hear
the pastors words, but saw the congrega-
ton retiring, and | mechanically passed out
with them. But walked in dream. ]
did not know what to make Of my new feel
incs. knew that was happy, that was
full Of light, and that had LETT my past self
in some way; but whether | was given
over to rcprobation and that hardness OF
heart, which can feel no compunction, or
whether 1t was u genuine case OF conversion
to God, | could not tell. In my feeble
reason, | thought had become Gods child,
and SO | told my Christian friends. | im-
medlately assumed what supposed TO be
my Christian duties. | exlorted my play
mates to seek the salvation had found. |
prayed and exhorted in public, and those
were very happy days.
'In few weeks, extra meetings were
dropped, and there was an in-gathering Of
the results of the revival into the church.
was among them, already questioning the
genuineness OF my experience and the reali.
ty of my faith. But that was the time, and
those were the circumstances, under which
my name was placed upon the records Of
the church at l.. Two months more had
swept every vestige Of religious excitement
from the town. The proiessed Christians
went back to their old, cold ways, and ],
what could do? was a boy, with fresh
ly budding passions, and an overflow Of an
iInal spirits that swept me about, dancing
leaf upon the sea of life. The excitement
receded, and as it did SO, receded. Pray
er was dropped when inconsenient. The
Bible was scarcely read except at family
prayers. did not dare to attend the pray
er meeting for fear that ! should be called
upon to take part in the exercises. The
communion became terrible thing to me.
| partook of the sacred elements with al.
most the certainty in my heart that was
eating and drinking damnation to myself.
'Now you sec what aui. do not know
| whether ever was a Christian or not.
think there was time in my life when !
had in my heart an honest purpose to serve
God. Ii that is being Christian l was
one; but one thing is certain, have never
recovered from the reaction consequent
upon that terrific excitement. | think that
reyiyalist was cruel man-that he did not
know what he was doing. would not have
child of mine subjected to such hell us
waded IN for six long weeks for the world.
II scorched me, it wounded me, II benumbed
me. Yet there is something about what
thought was my religious experience that
touches me tenderly, even now. The name
of Christ was precious name to me, and
! the Lord knows that as bad rs l nm,
could kneel down right here, in your Office,
and pruy that no injury to the Christian
cause might result from the connection oi
my unworthy name with the Christian
church.
Thus closes the story Of Jack Thorpe. |
have told II with the hope Oi exhibiting one
of the most harmful features Of the old-tash-
ioned religious revivals, considered US u
means of spreading PRACTICAL Christianity.
The sensi,iveness which Thorpe exhibited
demonstrated to me. beyond all question,
,ha, he had genuine religious experience,
and that in his wayward and iorgetiul heart
a spark of piety was remaining still. told
him SO. He shook his head doubtingly. |
tried to encourage him, and he left me with
thanks and an aspect Of deep though.iul-
ness.
Il is not necessary for me to lead my read.
er through Jacks second conversion, for u
seemed TO amount TO that. This was Sdii.
ferent affair from the first. Il was n calm