The North-Carolinian., 1858-04-24

s5l Mi H.
O. keep Pacs Win l(s!s buuy -
his exertions, however, he had falIe1in arrears
about foot of the necessary length, and con-
sequently stuck that far through his inexpres-
sibes. Hiscrop of hair was surmounted ty
the funniest little seal skin cap imaginable.
After taking position, he INDUCED i'll long
stare at the man opening the dicaloes, and slow
iy ejacuat el--'isters?'
Yes. sirf responded the attentive operator,
'and fine ones they are, stoo.'
We'll Eve heard of listers afore,' said he,
but this is the fust time Pve seed 'em. and per-
haps I'lI know what thar made of afore l git
out of town.
Having expressed this desperate intention,
he cautiously approached the plate, and seru-
tinized the uncased shell fish, with gravity
aud Interest which would have done honor to
the most lIustrious. At length he began to
soli!oquize the difficulty of getting them out,
and how queer they look when out
L never seed anythin' hold on so-takes an
amazin' site of screwin, hoss, to get them OUT
and aipt they slick and slippery when they does
come? Snooth an eel! I've good mind to
give that teller login, jst to realize the effects
as uncle Jess used to say about speculation
We'll, sir was the reply. down with two
bts and yon can have dozen
1.-TWO bitsn exclaimed the Sucker, now come,
that's stck' it on rite strong, hoss, for listers.
there's no gettn more'n pcayune apiece to
them I've only realized forty-fve picayunes
on my first venture to St Louis. Ill gin you
tw o chickens for dozen if you'll conclude 10
deal
A wag who was standing by, ndnlging in a
dozen, winked to the attendant to she'll out,
and the offer was accepted.
Now mind repeated the sucker, all fair
two chickens for q dozen-you're witness,
| mister turning at the same time to the wag
.nc"a- of o....rieLay-anr I've heard that you
city fellows are mighty slippery coons.'
| The bargain being fairly understood, oul
Sucker squared himself for the onset; delibe
ratey put off his seal-skir, tucked up his sleeves
| and, fork in hand, awaited the appearance OF
No. l. 1t came-he saw-and quickly it was
bolted. The wag dropped his knife and fork
and with look of mingled amazement and hor
ror-something akin to Shakespeare's Hamlet
on seeing his daddy's ghost-burst into the ex
clamatlon:
Swallowed alive, as I'm a Christianp
Our sucker here had opened his mouth with
pleasure a moment before, but now it stood
onen-For horrd dread Of he didn't know
what-a consciousness that all wasn't right,
and ignorant of the extent OF the wrong-the
uncertainty Of the moment was terrible. Urged
to desperation, he faltered out
| What on earth's the roW!'
/ Did you swallow it alve?' inquired the wag.
/ You're dead man. exclaimed his anxious
friend, the creature is alive. and will eat right
through you,' added he, in a most hopeless
| tone.
Get pizen pump, and pnmp it outP
screamed the Sucker, i'll frenzy, his eyes falr-
Iv starting from their sockets o, graciousl-
what'l / do?-It's got hold of my innafds al
ready, and Pm dead chickenl-do some
thing for me, do-don't let the internal sea-
toad eat me afore your eyes.
'Why don't you pat some OF this on 1T! IN
curing the wag, pointing to bottle OF strong
pepper-sauce.
The hint was enough-the Sucker upon the
instan. seized the bottle, and desperately
w~enchina out the cork, swallowed half the
contents at single draught. He fairly
souealed from its effects, and gasped and blowcd
aud pitched and twisted, as if it were coursine
through him with eciectric effect, while at the
same time his eyes ran stream OF tears. "A
length, becoming little composed, his wag
gish adviser approached, almost bursting Will
suppressed laughter and INCURRED
How are you now, old feilcw--did you XII
it?'
: We'll, I did hoss'-ugh, ugh, 600 my IN
nards. If that lister critters dyin' agonie
ddut stir 'Tuption in me equal to sma!
earthquake then 'taInt no use sas'n.-t--l
squirlned like sarpent, when that kii'ih stu
to lched it; hu!'--and here, with cou"'e
nance made up of suppressed agony ana ,, pre- =,
q
his words, and slowly and deliberately ren'afkes e
2 sif YOU git two chickens from me for that n.y.
animal, Pm d-dv and seizing his seai-sk'h !"
! vanished. 4ort;or
The shout of laughter, and the contor.ioa
oe the company at this finale wonld nave :nao
snectator believe that they had all bce'
s,oailoaoimg oysters anee:
i You've Man, PAY ArrESrioN!-Dont De
loafer. don't call yourself ioafer, oon,t keep
loafer's company, don't hang about toanng p'
ces Better work hard for nothing and boar
YOURSELF than sit around day after day, or stan
) at corners with your hands in yonr pockets
Better for your own mind, better Tor your pros
pects. Bustle about, if you mean to have an
thing to hustle about for Many poor phys
cian has obtained real patient by riding bar
3 to attend on an imaginary one. A quire
blank paper tied up with red tape carried III