Daily Iowa State Democrat. [volume] (Davenport, Iowa) 1856-1859, 1858-01-07
STATE DEMOCRAT.
Pros the Sunday Times.
HARP SERMON.

| scnpters and pint out the narrow way
which leads from . vain woorld to tn.
streets of Jaroosalem and my te,
which l shall choose for the occasion
is in the leds Of the. Bible somewhat be-
tween Second Chronik-ills and the las,
chapter Of Timothytitus and wher
you find 1t, you will find in these words
And they shall gnaw . file, and flee
unto the mountains of Hepsidam
where the lion roareth and wang-doo
die mourncth for his first born
Now my brethcring As have be-
fore told you, l arm an uneddicatcd
man, and know not hin about gramm: ,
talk and oollidge highfalution, but I'm
a plain unlarnt preacher of the gospil
what's been foreordaned and called to
prepare prcvarse generashun for the
day of wrath-ah! For they shall
gnaw a file, and fee unto the noun
tains Of Hepsidsm, whar the lion roar.
eth and the wang-doodle mourneth for
bis first born'-ah!
My beloved brethering the tex says
they shall gnaw q file. It does not
say they may but they shall. Now,
there's the hand saw file, the rat tail
file, the single file, the double file, aud
profile, but the kind of file spoken of
here isn't one Of them kind naythur,
bekaws it's fgger of speech, and
means going it alone and getting uker-
ed; for they shall gnaw a file and fee
unto the mountains Of Hepsidam, whar
the lion roareth and the wang-doodle
mourneth for his first born-ah!
And now there be some here with
fine clothes on thar backs, brass rings
on thar fingers, and lard on thar har
what goes it while they're yung; and
thar be others here what, as long as
thar constitooshuns and forty cent
whisky last goes it blind. Thar be sis
tiers here what, when they gets sixteen
years old cuts their tiller-ropes and
goes it with rush. But l say, my
dear breathering take care you don't
find, when Gabriel blows his last trump
you're hands playel out, and you've
got ukered-ah. For they shall gnaw
q file, and flee unto the mountains of
Hepsidam, whar the lion roareth and
the wang doodle mourneth for his
first born
Now, my brethering, they shall fee
unto the mountainsof Hepsidam. Thars
Rotterdam, Haddam, Amsterdam, and
'Don't-care- a-dam'-the last OF which,
my brethering, is the worst of all. and
reminds me Of a sirkumstans / onst
knowed in the state of lllcnoy. There
was man what built him mill On
the north fork of Ager Greek, and it
was good mill and ground a sight of
grain but the man who built it was a
miserable sinner, and never gave any
thing to the church ; and my brother
ing, one night there came drediul
storm of wind and rain, and the noun
tains of the great deep was broke up,
and the water rushed down and swept
that mans milo dam to kingdom cum,
and'when he woke up he found out he
wasn't worth dam-ah For they
shall gnaw file, and flee unto the
mountains of Hepsidam, whar the lion
roarth and the wang doodle mourneth
for her first born-ahv
Now, 'whar the lion roarth and the
wang doodle mourncth for his first
born-sh! This part ofmy tex, be-
seaching brethering, is not to be
taken as it says. 1t don't mean the
bowling wilderness, whar John the
hard shell Baptist fed on locusts and
wild assoc, but it means, my dear breth-
ering, the city of New Y'Orleans, the
mother of har lots and hard lots, whar
corn is worth six bits bushel one day
and nary red the mex whar the mig
gers are as thick as black bed bugs in
split bacon ham, and gamblers, thieves
and p,ckpockets, goes skitting about
the streets like weasels in barn yard,
whar honest men are scarcer than a
hens teeth, and whar a strange woman
once took in your beloved teecher and
bamboozled him out of two hundred
and twenty seven dollars in the twink
ling of sleeps tail, but she can't do
it again! Hallejuh-ah! For they
shall gnaw a file, and flee unto the
mountains OF Hepsidam, where the lion
roareth and the wang doodle mourneth
for his first born-ah !
My brethering, l am captain Of that
fiat boat you seeItied up thar, and have
got aboard Of her flour, bacon, taters'
and as good Aonongohela whisky asev-
er was drunk, and am mighty apt to
get a big price for them all but what
my dear trethcring, would all be wurth
if hadn't got religion Z There's
nothing like religion my brethering,
it's better nor silver or gold gimcracks;
and you can no more get to heaven
without it. than jay bird can fly
without tail-aL! Thank the Lord!
I'm an oneddicated man, my.:brethering
but Pvesarched the scripters from dan to
bersheba, and found Zion right side up,
and hard shell religion the best kind
of religion-ah Ta,'nt like the
Methodists, what specs to get to heav-
en- by hollerin hell fire nor like the
Univcrsalists, that get on the broad
gague and goes the hull hog-ah !! nor
like the Yewnited Brethering, that
takes each other by the slack Of thar
breeches and hists themselves in nor
like the Katherlicks, that buys threw
tickets from their priests but it may
be likened unto . man what had to