The Feliciana Democrat., 1858-04-17
THE WITNESS BON.

The nominal purpose Of a court of justice is
to seek the truth; but question whether the
truth is ever III other places more attacked
sneercd at, brow-bcaten, ridiculed, and put ont
Of countenancc 1t is the truth which in thi:
place, every one in his turn finds to his interest
to conceal 1t is the truth that every one is
afraid of. Even the party most unequivocaly
in the right is anxious to exclude the truth
from the other side less it may seem to con
tradict his own: and all the lawyers, and even
the Judge, seem as much on the watch to stor
the witness mouth every two minutes rs they
have been to make him come there to open it
One of the most ridiculous things in the world
is a witness in the box, trying (poor fellow to
give in his testimony. He is, we will suppose
not in the slightest degree interested in either
of the parties, and, doubtless, wishes them
both tied together by the neck, and at the bot.
tom of the lake. lie comes into court, not
voluntarily, but dragged If he rcsists, by two
or three scowlng ministers of the law, who,
from the mere fact Of being presumed to know
something about the pending suit, think them
selves entitled to treat him as if he had been
brought up for robbing n hen-roost. lie is
forced from his business or his amuscments for
the purpose of speaking the truth, and he in,
as possible, and get rid of the business. He
thinks he knows the worst He thinks the
loss of time, and the awkwardnesS of speaking
for the first time in his life in public, are the
extent of his suflerings Unsuspecting victim
He no sooner enters the box than he finds him
self at once the centre of circle of enemies
and holding position not greatly unlike that
Of prisoner in an Indian war-dance. lie
tries to tell his story.
WITNESS. was going down Maiden Lane
COUNSELLOR BLowHARD. Stop, sir
COUNSELLOR BoTHEREM Don't interrupt the
witness
COUNSELLOR Bowwow (brisRy and indig
nantly, we want the fact
JUDGE. Let the witness tell his story
WITNESS. was going down Maiden Lane
where live
BLowuARD. We don't want to know where
you live, sir
BorHEREM That is part of his testimony
SLABsIDEs. You can have the witness when
we have done with him; he belongs to us now
Bowwow (sarcastically) Very WELL sir.
JUDGE. Gentlemen, beg yon will sit down
ONE OF THE ASSISTANTS. Officer, keep or
der.
OFFICER las Aoud as he can howl) Silence
WITNESS. | was going down Maiden Lane
where / reside, as | said before, when
BLowHARD You don't come here, sir, to re
peat what You said before
BoTHEREM | beg
SLABsIDEs (starting Ia Ills fcet.) No intcm
perance, | persist ont !
Bowwow, Your honor, appeal to you tc
protect me from the impcrtncnce of this wit
ness.
All the counsellors and Judges together
The witness must be COM
OFFICER I'm roice Of Mundcr Silence
Silence
JUDGE. Gentlemen, it seems to me that the
best way to come at the truth, is to let the
witness go on, and will call him to order i
he wanders from his duty. Witness!
WITNESS. Your honor.
JUDGE Tell the plain fact of this assault
tell the jury what you know about it. Re
member you are here to speak the truth, ant
nothing but the truth Raise your voice, ano
turn your face to the jury What do yo'
know Of this affair?
Again the witness commenced, the lawyer
continuing to skirlnsh around all the while
like a parcel Of wild Arabs fighting for thu
clothes of some unhappy prisoner. So fa
from getting chance to say the truth, th'
poor man cannot get a chance to say anything
At length, bewildercd ont of his recollection