Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1858-08-05
Interesting Instructions to Office Seekers


NEW SERIES.
Were called upon to select subject that
would interest the greatest numbers of the
readers of any political Newspaper, cannot at
this moment think of one that would give bet
ter satisfaction to them than the one have
I could give instructions
that would get them into office for many have
u great love Of country and the dear people,
especially when there is any prospect that they
may be called upon to fill some important Office.
l have the vanity to believe any one following
the instructions shall here put forth, will be
sure OF an election to any county Office, if he
belongs to the predominant party in the
county.
First. If you can think of some man in the
county whom you fancy stands better chance
tor the nomination to the office you are seeking,
and some one (if possible in your mind) that is
more popular ill the county than yourself-go
to some friend and get him to write to that
man, and have him state your friendly desire
for his nomn alton, you wish to have it 30, and
have him state that every thing is right in the
county to promote his nomination.
Second. Take particular pains yourself to
see the man that you are endeavoring to draw
into the snare, and tell him yourself of the
very kind friendly feelings you have for his
nomination, and that you solicited your friend
to write to him to bring about the arrange
ment of his nomination, and, further, very cor
daily tell him of his popularity in the county,
and of your unpopularity, and that you shall
make no efforts for the nomination.
Third, In the towns In the county where
you are quite sure they would 60 against you,
if they suspected you were making an effort to
obtain the nomination, take more than ordina-
ry pains to tell all such that your pretended
friend is to be the nominee, and that you have
brought about the arrangement as heretofore
stated, and also that you have not been the
candidate since the arrangement was thus made
Fourth. In the town where you reside (for of
course you will be unpopular there) reiterate
loudly to all the arrangement for your duped
friends nomination, and on the day of the
convention begin to exhibit signs of indifference
on the subject and that you desire to have
the will of the people put forth go to some
other friend that is not particular what calling
he follows, and select his aid in arranging the
committee in your town for you. Get some
eight or ten at the corner of the brick church
{" not the streets y get in chairman your
self, and have your friend nominate the COM
mittee of your kind, taking great care as chair
man to hear no nominations but those that you
and your friend have previously selected to cary
out your plans.
Fifth, Tell your committee to 60 into
the nominating convention and urge your
name for the nominee, as a sort of Compliment
for yourself ; but of course not for the NOM
nation only for compliment Tell them also
to bargain and 60 for any thing however OBJ
noxious they may be to the people of the county,
(any candidate for any offce) that will work
be" foxy and sly yourself, and begin again
the old story to your friends that you have
made no effort and speak often of the ar
rangement for your cheated friend, and that
you have not been a candidate for the past three
weeks.
Ssath and lastly Should your deceived friend
call at your dwelling or office, to ask an ex-
PLANTATION of your course by thus pretending
friendship for him, and all the while secretly al
work for your own nomination, call in SOME
OF your friends, including your town committee
to hear the facts stated as named in the fore
going instructions, (Which you will not deny }
and should you lack of argument to have youl
course appear fair even before your friends, iii
you have any exhibits signs of madness, and
show your duped friend the door and cordially
ask him to use it. That will be natural
course as you cannot reasonably expect his vote,
and having used him for all the purpose you de-
sire, he had better leave.
By following the foregoing instructions-o
your complimenting committee work well and
bargain in the committee room to advantage
for you, (as they naturally will, or you would
not have had them on the committee, you being
chairman at the corner of the church, )-there
can be no doubt but you will obtain the nom
nation, especially If you manage in a private
and religious manner to keep the " WOO
pulled . over the eyes of your duped friend, SC
that he makes no effort for himself.
If you belong to strong party your election
is sure ; for if any one has any doubt about
your taking gentlemanly course in obtaining
your nomination, make gestures at them, and
defy them to bolt the nomination if they dare
to. But it would be well to tell every one you
see how very Unexpectedly the people have
; called you from your business, unsolicited, t.
fill the important Office, and all Chat do no
know of your rascality) will consider you {
very wonderful man.
You may think that your friend you hav,
drawed your snare around, will let your treach
cry be. known but on reflection you viii per
ceive you have him safe for if he undertakes Il
tell the facts, the people will not look into tn
merits of his or your course and will say al
that troubles him is--he is vext because he dit
not obtain the nomination.
i Thus dishonorable and treachorous course i
far, very far, ahead of an honorable and fai
one.
have thus given the particulars of all tina
has come to my mind, deemed necessary to oh
tain an Office. Should any one think the ma
chinery deficient, cannot at this moment thinl
of any better reference for other matter on thi
subject not herein enumerated, than the frs
nominee on the Republican ticket of