Raftsman's journal. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1854-1948, 1858-12-15
coURTsHIP AND MARRIAGE.

There are many poor young men and poor
young women, and there are few rich young
men and rich young women. If the rich anu
the poor would intermarry, there would be
some progress made towards balancing the
account. But there is point at which the
class with means would give out, and leave
very large residuum OF INDECENT persons OF
both sexes. What are they to do Are they
to remain single? If so, the world would
be gradually depopulated. Yet marriage,
with all its consequent cares and responsible
tiles, is very serious business, and depop-
ulation might be even a less evil than the do
mestic difficulties and social mischiefs which
would grow out of those mesoiHances in which
the wife on the one hand cannot support
family upon the slim wages OF her industry,
and the husband either cannot or Will not earn
subsistence for the household. When we
speak of the absolutely poor in this connec-
tion, we do not, OF course, refer to that large
Lewiston of mankind intermediate between
the extremes on either side-between those
who are hopelessy and utterly destitute by
virtue not only of inherited poverty, but the
incapablity of improving their condition,
whether by force of personal defects, or the
want of opportunity. The man who has moth
ing but health, talents, and a brave spirit OF
independence stout, doughty resolution
to make his way in life in spite of fate-is, of
all men, the man who ought to be married, and
who would be assisted and strengthened by
u
mally developed specimen of humanity, In
the main, and, speaking generally, he makes
the best husband and father and citizen. and is
morally and economically, pillar in the State.
We would recommend all such strong and
heroic fellows to marry as speedily as possi-
BILE, and to choose poor, clever girls, rather
Than uncleyer, ill-to-do ones who have come
into the world with silver spoon in their
mouths. We would advise this choice, not
only on the principle of natural fitness,
psychological and otherwise, but because q
woman Who needs that kind Of help and pro-
lection, ought to be allied to bold, honest,
hard-working, perscvering man, who can save
her from unwomanly labor, either in kind or
quantity, and give the best qualities and affec-
tions of her nature q decent chance of growth
and development.
But what shall we say of the matches which
| are called slove matches,'' by the way OF de-
| rision, and which, too frequently, are formed
| in a thoughtless, ,unreasoning way, without any
| reference whatever to what is 10 follow, be-
| tween parties who are precisely alike, or sui
ted in no other particular than their outright
| and complete inability TO provide for them
| selves or each other Is not every such CO.
| partnership multiplication of positive good
| for nothingness and sheer destitution, by two!
| And is not the probable result of that matri-
monial arithmetic, in the next remove, four
| times the original misery and worthlcssness
that are multiplied But what young man
and young woman, who get their heads turned
with amatory sentiment, and fancy that they
were made for each other and must die, inc
| yitably, if they are separated, ever disturb
their fond brains with that vulgar, yet very
| important question-"How will We manage
| to live after marriage ~
They are apt to fancy that any such calcu-
| lationS are quite inconsistent with spiritual
| attachment, and that a connection into which
any such sober, and, as they suppose, mean
and mercenary speculations enter, never can
! be happy. This is n mistake. Yet it is very
common. 1t has been repented of, too, by a
| countless multitude of people, in sackclott
| and ashes. The stern cares and duties and
necessities of connubial life, soon bring a
| couple of such lunatics to their senses, and
| teach them that house rent is not to be paid
with lovers signs, nor butchers meat pur-
chased with the tender caresses OF Corydon
| and his Philis. The truth is, that getting
married, as it is called, is mighty grave and
matter-of-fact affair 1t has been charged,
and with some justice, perhaps, that the ex-
travagance of modern social ideas OF respec-
| liability, and the costliness of decent subsis-
tence in our large cities. have made it hard
for most young men to afford a wife and chill
dren, and thus reduced them to celibacy, OF
the necessity of joining with poor girl in
starving. But those who have not will and
| facultv enough to win comfortable malnte-
| nance and genuine pride enough to despise
the miserable folly which would sneer at their
humble, yet honest competence, had better
| conclude to avoid the Scorn OF the world
snobs, and starve singly.
But what We wish particularly in this ar
ticle to enunciate is, that no poor and pros,
| pectless young fellow, who hasn't the sense to
take a practical view of marriage, and to re-
alze its obligations and responsibilities in
| all their stubborn actuality, ought ever to
think of the thing. He has no right to think
| of ba himself
labor and his talents. he has business tC
| undertake TO support woman into the bar
| gain. There is no true lore in that sort OF en-
terprise. A man who is not able to come
| honestly himself by plain clothes and fruga
diet, is most cruel in attempting to involve q
poor girl in his short fare and hopeless rag
gedness. 1t is wrong even to engage her at
| fections, and worse still to bind them against
better fortune, by express or by tacit betrothal
There are many such courtships and engage
ments in every community like ours. They
ought to be frowned on and forbidden by pa
rents and guardians, as baleful conspiracie:
by two fools against their own peace and the
welfare of society. We have a great and sin
cere respect, however, for any young mar
who cultivates the esteem and love of young
girl with a brave and sensible purpose to make
her happy by giving her protector and {
home-by lifting her to her rightful and ma
tural position of wife and mother. We care
not if he be poor, either in SO far as heredita
ry fortune or present possession of worldly
goods may be concerned. But he must have
the necessary ability to insure decent liveli
hood for his family, and earnest, manly
resolution to put his capacities to practica
and efficient use in that direction, before b,
can fairly and honorably require young gir
to pledge her hand to him, or even engag,
her heart in such manner as to render an al
lance with him essential to her peace ant
hapDiness -t.A-..sa rs ls g..