The star of the north. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, 1858-02-03
NUMBER 4.
From tho Lifo Illustrated !
WANTED, A WIFE.

l wish somebody would make me a
New Years present of a good wife Here
am, nearly thirty-iiye years old, and 4
bachelor yet. I'm sure it's not ny fault
don't al all relish coming home at night to
lonely room, aid yawning all the evening
over stupid book, without soul to speak
10. don't fancy darning my own stockings
and sewing on my shirt buttons. Boarding.
house life isn't the greatest luxury in tho
world, especially when the invalid chairs
and broken tables in the establishment are
pensioned off in your room, and the Biddy
uses your hair-brush, and annoints herself
with your malsfcursy
I'd like rosy wife, and cheerful home,
as we'll as anybody. dixie to think, at my
daily labors downtown, of pair of bright
eyes, looking up and down the street to SEQ
if I'm coming, of kettle singing at the fire,
and pair of slippers put down to warm
by hands that exactly correspond with the
bright eyes.
But don't know where all the good wives
have gone have read of them and heard
of them and heard about them, and know
they once existed, but the race is now ex-
tinct. Fve examined all the young ladies of
my acquaintance, and not one of them
realizes my idea of what q wife should be.
| want gentle, loving companion, to sit at
my fire-side, TO cheer my existence, console
my sorrows, and share my joys-and econ-
omical domestic helpmate, TO make home
for me- All, if could only find such per-
son!
| don't want wife who goes rustling
about in satin and silks-who plays divinely
on the piano, and don't know how TO mako
n shlrt-who can emdroider on velvet and
paint in water colors, and hasn't the least
idea of the ingredients necessary 10 form an
apple pie!
don't want a wife who dances the Lam
GERS with hole in the toe of her silk stock.
ing. don't want wife who is loo "ner-
vous" to see to the affairs of her household,
but who is perfectly capable of fashionable
dissipations-who goes into strong Mysteries
because don't engage box at the opera,
and shops on Broadway, wasting all my in
come in "grcat bargains !" and don't want
wife who reads novels and works in
worsed, with poodle dog on her lap, while
the meat stunning down stairs, in the kitch-
en-; and the pudding Is baked 10 cinder!
There's the catalogue of the things don't
want, and now | will enumerate the things
do want.
want a neat, stirring little wife, whose
nicely fitted dress is made by her own hands
who can make loaf Of bread, rods; a hir
key, or cook Il beefsteak-who regards n
hole in her husbands coat as n reflection OIL
her housewilely character, ard who can
talk about news, and even politics, as well as
about new dresses and new fashions-who
is lady ia the kitchen as well as in the parlor,
and who looks upon husband as some-
thing nearer and dearer than mere machine
to pay her bills, and hold her fan and hand.
kerchief at parties!
Now, Mr. Editor, do you know of any such
woman as this? My female acquaintances
are all pretty wax-doll creatures, with white,
richly ringed hands and pale faces, who
don't know exactly where the kitchen is,
and would faint away if you mention a wash
tub or frying pan in their presence They
are very passable drawing room ornaments,
but as 10 ever becoming thrifty, creditable
wives, one might as we'll marry the revolv-
ing ladies in the windows on Broadway
Won't somebody give me bit of advice
Am | 10 die an old bachelor, or am 10
marry huge crinolinc, an infuitesimal
bonnet, and a pair of yellow kid gloved with
a woman inside of 'em?
RALPH REpBLosoM.