M'arthur Democrat. (McArthur, Vinton County, Ohio) 1853-1865, 1858-09-23
.Toodlcs" ns a Ieeformer.

lhcRthcnS 'OI 'l)uOfa-OOOll Sha, was
there such wonderful relormer as
."ToUdles." He removed to VintOn
county for the especial purpose Of en-
Tightening aud reforming the people,
both by precept and example; and the
manner in which he has done this en-
titles him to the eternal gratitude OF
all peaceable and well,dieposcd per-
sons! Like Caesar he "cNme, saw
aud conquerodv' A few weeks sut-
feed him to regulate the post office
department and in "less than no
time" he had secured the "purity OF
the baIlot-box." People wondered
how they had lived SO long and never
discovered the evils to which they
wore subjected until "TOodles" made
them plain. lhs next reform was
one of extraordinary character. lie
conceived the idea that, as entirely too
much of the "spirituous" was kept in
town, it would be well to dispose OF
III somehow or other, and not knowing
II saterplace to put it, carried a heavy
load of it about his person. To be
sure, the "cross" was hard to bear,
and sometimes 1t "got him down," "
still lIe performed his duty manluIIy,
until he discovered, as he thought, a
better Plan. lie changed his tactics,
and instead Of carrying the "oh, be
Joyful" to keep other cvil.disposod
people from getting it, proposed that
the thirsty earth should drink it mp,
instead of himself. The folly Of this
course Of reformation he soor discov-
cred, in the fact that mother earth
didn't drink any more than himself
Being determined upon the reforma.
ton, however, and as full OF eXpedi,
ents and courageous as the knight
, who Iou5httho Hydra-headed Dragon
"Toodlcs" persisted; and while he en-
couraged his temperance friends tc
destroy the "crtter" in one way he
, continued to dispose Of it in another
1t is needless to state that he stil
keeps doing his part to 'eradicatc the
evil" for which he observes well oI
his country!"
The immaculate "Toodles" believes
tirat he has a right to do as he pleas
es with the private characters Of other
people-tor the purpose of rforma-
fti03s, of eeursei 1t he insinuate that
somebody is thief, it is merely t
matter Of reform aid wholly disinter-
oslcd on his part! If he accuse q
brother editor of swindling, it is sim.
ply to teach him the straight and
narrow path in which he, "Toodles"
--nn honest man-has walked "irom
his youth up!' If lie violate any
command in the decalogue. it is with
an abiding faith that good will come
OF it, to somcbody--not to him! No
body suspects him of being interest.
ed! Nobody doubts the purity Of his
motives! People would as soon look
into bee gums for bees, as into his ac
tsons for selfish and interested mo-
tivusl
Like Othello, "Toodles" has "done
the State some service" For this he
expects neither fee nor reward. AS
| Richard the Third refused the crown
so would "Toodles' refuse reward IDl
his many services! lie is simply a
poor pilgrim, who, with staff and
scrip, goes about doing good! His
work in this line has so increased re.
Gently, that he coald act no longer as
an officer in the temperance society.
This association, which he bad done
50 much to establish, and to which he
was bright and shining light" eX-
cused him--the members thereof even
shedding tears, Of the crocodile order,
when he informed them of his inabili-
ty 10 serve them longer!
Another great work Of reform in
which "ToodleS" is engaged, is the
cxtermination of Democrats, even as
St. Patrick exterminated the snakes!
/ He--Toodles-not st. Patrick-fnds
nothing but dishonesty among the
Democrats aud ruin in their footsteps,
of which facts lie is laboring to con-
vince the people. When he succeeds
in this, and his other reiormations, he
intends to announce the "latter end"