The prairie news., 1858-12-23
Hoops and their Wenrers-Impertineu

| An Englishman has lately written a
pamphlet entitled dangers of Crno-
line, in which he avows that fashion is
making lamentable inroads into t h e
health, morals and happiness of his fair
countrywomcn. Here are some extracts :
| The TALL WoMAN.-Now, look in
the opposite direction, and see that tall
lady sailing along in all the amplitude Of
skirt. What does she look like! A
Jack-in-the- green on stills; weeping
willow grated on to apoplar; the monu-
ment stuck into the dome of st. Paul's,
with the dome downwards or any 9TH
er brizarre conglomeration you can i'm
aginc. Onward she comes, against a
violent gust of wind. See how she rocks
to and fro, like vessel in storm, keep
ing her perpendicular position with the
greatest difficulty, and grasping hold of
the railings as she passes along, to steady
herself on her feet.
The FAT WoMAN.-Anon there comes
a very short lady, to whom natrue has
been extremely kind in awarding an am
pltude of figure seldom seen. One
would think that this lady would be sat
isfed with the amount of bulk that had
been apportioned her. But no such
thing; with the waywardness and blind
ness which the victims of fashion are
guilty of, she believes that adding to the
extent of corporeal outline adds charm
to the already liberal possession boasted
of.
The THIN WoMAN.-And now there
comes the exact opposite of her who has
just passed; a thin, very thin lady,
some what maliciously called scraggy,'
without the slightest pretension to fig
ure, and no development worth speaking
of. Be good enough to observe that the
lady is for purposes best known to herself,
holding her dress several inches from the
ground, and as she does so, displays a
foot and something more, a pair of slen-
der, shapeless legs, that contrast most 3D.
dIy and unpictureSquely with the sur
rounding extent of skirt.
The STuMPY WoMAN.-See there is
short, stumpy woman of about forty
fve,coming down the street. What does
she look like in the distance2 Why, her
body resembles a pincushion, and her
head pin stuck in; or a water-butt,
with the handle of broom peeping out
at the top or an animated humming
top; or locomotive Goblin or an in
hated sack tied in a knot at the mouth,
or anything, in fact that can be more
udicrous than another. Mark the lady
draws near; she evidently admires her.
self, and looks downward with an air of
supreme satisfaction. There goes the
precious crinoline-swing, swing, swob,
swob, first backwards, then forwards,
then round about, then up and down, and
finally, ends with jnmble of all the
movements. A set of little boys see my
lady coming and began to scent fun
Crickey, amt she full blown'un
Tom p " What time does the balloon 60
upW "Who's your cooper 2 and sever
al other impertinent queries are address
ed by these wicked-little boys to the in
hated female. Onward she goes, some
what crestfallen it is true, but not quite
converted, and hatters herself with the
contemplation of the sensation she will
cause when she reaches the purlieus OF
the West End,
We must make one more extract from
this pamphlet. The indignant English
man-who evidently some day, has been
crowded into the gntter by sweeping
crinoline-says:
FIVE walk along the public highway,
we are often compelled to stand on each
side, or to step into the road, to permit it
to pass; if We enter church, we find it
monopolizing the greater part of the
pew; if we turn round the corner of the
street, it rushes against us, and nearly
knocks us off our equilibrium if we as
cend fight of starts, it descends like an
avalanche upon us-so that we are COM
| PEELED either to retreat into the landing,
or fall backwards on the mat; if we visit
the theatre, it surges before, behind, and
on either side of us, SO that we cannot
see or hear anything of what is perform
ing on the stage, and are well nigh suf-
focated into the the bargain.
Old woman trembling on the verge of
the grave enshrine their decrepit bones
within it; young children; not long re-
leased from the trammels of swaddling
clothes, jerk their little forms about in it;
ugly women, pretty women, dark women
fair women, are all under the diabolical
influence of crinoline.
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