The Council Bluffs nonpareil. [volume] (Council Bluffs [Iowa]) 1857-1867, 1858-06-12


90 darnation SMALL -
Jimmy began to grow uneasy. E.,
~ snaggers," said another, stno more you
wouldn't; for he. isn't knee high to toad.
/ called t'other day at his shop to get my
new boots; but / couldn't see nobody in the
place. ThenI heard something scratching
in corner like rat. went to take up a
boot, and heard Jimmy sing out, "Hallo!"
"Where in the dickins are you ?'' said L.
Here, said Timmy, ssin this ere boot;o
and, ! snaggers, there he was, sure enough,
in the bottom Of the boot, rasping of :
pegw S., : - = g..
A general roar of laughter brought Tim
my on his legs. His dander was raised. "You
boast of your bulk" !" said he straining up
to his full height, and looking contemptu-
ously around; why, I am like four-penny
bit among sir cents-worth the whole Of
yep - ,,.s5 . - -,
/ shall now describe melancholy joke,
which they played off on the unfortunate
shoemaker say melancholy, for 80 it prov
cd to him. -. 80
A fashionable tailor in neighboring VII
lage came out with flaming advertisement,
which was posted up in the bar-room of the
tavern, and excited general attention. He
purported to have for sale splendid assort-
ment Of coats, pantaloons, and waistcoats,
of all colors and fashions; also great va.
riety of trimmings, such rs tape, thread,
bnckram; frogs, button moulds, and all the
endless small articles that make up atailor's
stock. ..as.st. ~. ,-...., 4, 80. .,-.3
The next time Timmy made his appear
ance, they pointed out to him the advertise
ment. They especially called his attention
to the article Of '.trogs," and reminded
him of the great quantity to be caught in
Lilly Pond. "Why, Timmy," said they,
''if you would give up shosmaking and take
to frog-catching, you would make your for
tunev' r-. .-shg.
"Yes, Timmy," said another, 'syou might
bag thousand in half day, and folks say
they will bring dollar hundred"
TUo for cent apiece, they brought in
New York, when was there last" said a
cross-eyed fellow, tipping the wink.
"There's frogs enough in Lilly Pond"
said Jimmy; 'but it's darnation hard work
to catch 'em swaggers! chased one near
ly half day before took him-he jumped
Ike grasshopper. wanted him for bait.
They're plaguy slippery fellows"
'Never mind, Jimmy, take a'fsh net, and
scoop 'em up. You must have 'em alive
and fresh. A lot at this time would fetch a
great price,"
t'Ell tell you what, Timmy," said one of
them, taking him aside, 'sl'll go,you shares,
say nothing about tito nobody. Tomorrow
night, I'll come and help you catch 'em, and
we'll divide the gain" Jimmy was in rap
lures.
As Jimmy walked home that night, one
Of those lucky thoughts came into his head,
which are always the offspring of solitude
and reflection. Thought he, ''These ere
frogs in manner belong to me, since my
shop stands nearest the pond. Why should
l make two bites at cherry, and divide the
profits with Joe Gawky? By gravy! Pll
get up to morrow, catch the frogs, and be
of with them to the tailor's before sunrise,
and so keep all the money myself"
Timmy was awake with the lark. Never
before was there such stir amongst the
frogs of Lilly Pond. But they were taken
by surprise. With infinite difficulty he filled
his bag, and departed on his journey.
Mr.. Buckram, the tailor, was an elderly
gentleman, very nervous and very peevish
He was extremely nice in his dress, and
prided himself on keeping his shop as neat
as wax-work. In his manner he was grave
and abrupt, and in countenance severe.
can see him now, handling his shears with
all the solemnity of a magistrate, with spec.
tacles on his nose, and prodigous ruffles
putting from his bosom.
He was thus engaged, one pleasant spring
morning, when short stubbed fellow, with
bag on his shoulder, entered the shop
The old gentleman was absorbed in his en-
ployment, and did not notice his visitor
| But his inattention was ascribed by Jimmy
to deafness, and he approached and applied
his mouth to the tailors ear, exclaiming-"l
say, mister, do you want any frogs to-
day?" -
The old gentleman dropped his shears,
and sprung back in astonishment and alarm:
s'Do you want any frogs this morning."
shouted Jimmy, at the top of his voice.
"No!" said the tailor, cycling him over his
spectacles, as if doubling whether he was a
! fool or madman.
81 have got fine lot here" rejoined
Timmy, shaking his bag. "They are jest
from the pond, and as lively as Kittens"
'Don't below in my ears" said the old
man pettishly, 81 am not deaf. Tell me
what you want, and begone!'
"I want to sell you these ere frogs, old
gentleman. You shall have them at bar
gain. Only one dollar hundred. won't
take cent less. Do you want them?o
The old man now got a glance at the
frogs, and was sensible it was an attempt at
imposition. He trembled with passion
ssNov' exclaimed he, ''get out of my shop,
you rascal'' .....
81 say you want 'em,'' said Timmy, brist-
ling up. 81 know you want 'em; but you're
playing offish like, to beat down the price.
| won't take a mill less. Will you have
them or not, old MANI" ......-.. -
"Scoundrel'' shouted the enraged tailor,
0ret out of my shop this minute!"
Puzzled, mortified and angry, Timmy
SLOWLY turned on his heel and Withdrew
"He won't buy them," thought he, "for
what they are worth, and as for taking
nothing for them, wont. And yet, |
don't want to lug them back again; but If l
ever plague myself BY catching frogs again,
NAV be buttcred! Curse the old carmud-
geon! PHI try him once more" And he
again entered the shop u.
81 say, Mr.. Buckram, are you willing
to give Inc any thing for these ere frogs?"
The old man was now goaded past endu-
rance. Stamping with rage, he seized his
great shears to heat out the speakers brains.
"Well, them" said Jimmy, bitterly, take
'em among ye for nothing," at the same
time emptying the contents OF his bag on the
floor, and marching out. -.-..-5
Imagine the scene that followed! One
hundred live bull-frogs emptied upon the
floor of tailor's shop! 1t was subject
for the pencil of Cruikshank. Some jump
ed this way and some that way, and some
under the bench and some upon it, some in
to the fire. place and some behind the door.
Every nook and corner Of the shop was oc-
cupied in nm instant. Such spectacle was
never seen before. The old man was near
" distracted. He rent his hair, and stamp
ed in paroxysm of rage. Then seizing
broom, he made vain endeayors to sweep
them out at the door. .- ).
But they were rs contrary as hogs, and
when he swept one way, they jumped anoth-
or. He tried to catch them with his hands,
but they were as slippery as eels, and pas
sed through his fingers. It was enough to
exhaust the patience of Job. The neigh
bors, seeing Mr.. Buckram sweeping frogs
out of his shop, gathered round in amaze