The national era. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1847-1860, 1858-09-23
NO. 6I2.

frosts Oh years ana the storms of passion have
feit me but a miserable wreck, incapable O
any labor"
How have you determined about the re
ceipt of the money, Mr.. Orford?"
Oh, discount the ticket, and give me the
money. want to have done with lotteries
with all speed" E ~
TOR the amount, and receive the ticket from
you"
That will suit me very we'll. It comes on
portunely, this money, does it notPv continued
he. looking sorrowfully around the room,
There is not much left in your little locker
is there, Mary"
Very little. father, but enough to have last
ed us week or so. We both eat very little
you know" N'
Yes, yes, child, we learned that under the
discipline of q teacher who always inprints
his precepts indelibly upon one Young man,
said he, turning suddenly towards me. and
and grasping my arm, "let me coniure Won.
/ never gamble. Il will ruin. you i,wiA tell
you something Of myself. Come, sit close by
me ! cannot talk in a loud tone.
Thirty years ago, was rich and happy
with q beautiful bride, who was just learning
tenderly the word husband and clinging to
me with the fondest love. This is all I have
TO remind me OF her-this, my Mary, for whom
thank Godl for had she gone, too, would
not have seen this day, nor have ever felt the
new hope just kindling in my breast. wa:
wealthy, and enjoyed every comfort purchase
pie OF wealth. entertained handsomely, lived
freely and well, but within my income, which
was fully adequate to my desires
well, time passed on. / began to hear my
children lisp around me, when a sudden desire
for change, and the solicitation of friends, in.
duced me to accept an honorable and lucrative
post under Government, one which required
my removal to the Federal city. fancied this
move would benefit my family, since nv children
would have the advantage of growing mp in ar
excellent society, and one we'll calculated tc
teach them that free, cosmopolitan manner
which is so desirable.
| Tins move OF mine, apparently 80 reason
able, was prolific of those evils which have hung
around me ever since. thought myself man
was confident of my power of self control bui
no one knows what he is competent for until
he has been tried. The destinations of life
80 new to me, led me on imperceptibIy into
dissipation. l became the prey of set OF
scoundrels, who awaited themselves of nv weld
ing disposition, to spoil me of my wealth. |
gambled, and lost heavily. Two years had
scarce elapsed, when l found myself threat
ened with almost poverty. In this emergency,
1 awoke to sense of my folly, took up some
thing OF good resolution, and, urged by my poor
wife's entreaties, gave up my Office, and re-
turned to this city.
| opened a store, and invested what capital
remained to me in good business. Again
attained to prosperity; not for long, however
tor the evil spirit that welded my destiny had
not been cast out. gambled again, and in a
very short time was utterly penniless.. Sickness
came, my two elder children were carried off
and my wife Frustrated. In this climax Of
evils, was thrown into utter despair, and sal
down, moodly resolving to starve. NY wife
however, true to her womanly instincts, con
soled and encouraged me. | commenced bust
ness again on small amount, which l owed
to the kindness of my friends. In six months
had cheering prospects once more of comfort
and competency. l could look my lot in the
face with some comp,acency, ~Lua wife and
children began to smile, under the inspiration
OF renewed hope. l am not fatalist, young
man, but sometimes, when look upon nv pasf
l am tempted to believe that the hand of des
tiny overruled my efforts and intentions. One
day, after having done remarkably good bust.
ness, bought lottery ticket. 1t was my fate,
l thought, afterwards. / drew four hundred
dollars. Elated with this success, went into
gambling saloon, played, and won over two
thousand dollars. The next night, and the
next L played, and on the fifth night went
home at midnight, pauper-having lost every.
thing, even to judgment upon my goods and
furniture. was drunk, desperate, and, with a
pistol which had bought, was determined to
end my existence. Just as 1 was in the act
OF blowing out my brains, my poor wife entered
the room, seized my hand, and, in attempting
to wrest the weapon from me, discharged it.
The ball entered her breast. In an instant I
vas sobered, and heard her dying words charge
me to live for our children. In few minutes
it was over. She died in my arms; and even
before she was cold, / was taken to prison as a
murderer. My protestations availed not there
we're no witnesses to the act aoas her muir
derer, and l had been willing to have expi.
sted the crime. My trial would have ended nv
life; but my lawyer, very skillful man, b. d
me acquitted upon some legal bubble.
sought my home, broken hearted man. Want
and sickness had almost completed my desola.
ton. This child, Mary, alone remained to me,
wee, feeble infant. Men Stunned me, and
Chi dren learned to point at me, for was
Cain. With little Mary in my arms, went far
away, and began again to work, that l might
provide for her.
"FJr while got along we'll enough, bat
the brand tf Cain was upon me. aud there was
no city Of refuge whittier to fee. | moved
from place to place, but everywhere they knew
me as the murderer. Thus it was for years,
until, rendered desperate by the worlds inius.
tice, | returned to this city, determined t. take
the storm at its eliminating point. Here
have abded, patiently toiling in poverty and
obscurity. Here might have lived happily !;
eut | became heir to a small legacy, and, 81
multaneously with the accession of money came
the desire for gambling. was too weak to re-
sist i. did not, however, throw my money
away in the same manner as had formerly
done. l began to gamble in lotteries-the
most fascinating kind of gambling, know, be-
cause it is the most engrossing. 1t becomes,
as it we're, part of ourselves; 1t instills its sub
tie, poisonous suggestings into our very being.
Ii feeds our imagination, and becomes the
thread of all our dream fsnces. 1t is doubly
dangerous, in that it pampers into unnatural
activity, and gives potent substance to that
vague persuasion, latent in every human mind
of destiny being regent, and determining wha,
shall be for us in the future. / cannot rid my
self of the idea, even now, though my sober
reason is entirely repugnsnt to it, that l was
destined to draw a prize to those numbers
The prize seems to me to be merely the CON
pletion Of Thing long since predetermined.
"Thus have lived during these latter years
sometimes comparatively afflaent, at others CT
she point of starving-always lottery.gamber
always miserable. This child here has borne
With all my ills; she has tasted when hav,
tasted, and sometimes, fear, she has TASTED
that might eat. But this recital brings bacl
my pains too violently to be prolonged. Thos,
days OF infatuation are over-I hope forever
| cannot, in view of my too frequent relspses
say that shall never fall again. / can onl,
say, shall strive to deserve this tardy favor O
Fortune. am broken in body and spirit, and
as is meet, the gambler will spend his few re
malning days in suffering for aid mournirs
over his i'll spent past.