The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1858-03-27
Timothy Titoomb's Letters 20 Young
Women,
NuABHH Forn.

. 1NNN hANhNAf I NNANlNNNt NlhAf ANhl young
married women had a peculiar charm for
unmarried young men, aud that young
mans first love was almost rlways uniformly
devoted 20 a woman older than himself /
suppose | might name one young man who
was ahectedin this way, but what would be
tho use Il is enough for you 10 know the
/ facts, and for me 10 explain aud improve
/ them,
| A marriageable young women occupies, or
il made 20 occupy, a position Of peculiar
hardship, Our theory IL that women
should never make an advance toward the
man she loves aud would marry. Such
step il deemed inconsistent with maiden
modcsty, do not quarrel with this, but the
effect has been 10 make young women, who
/ possess sensitive natures, hypocrites, It
ought not 10 do Il, but Il does, Every mod.
%st young women possessing good degree
Of gumption, plays part, almost always
( when in the society Of young men. The fear
is that by some word, or look, ~ act, she
shall express such degree Of interest in
Young man as shall lead him to believe that
she Is after him, Young women study the
effect of their language, they often shun
eiNilitics, they put on an artificial and con
strained style Of behavior, for fear that some
ass vi III misconstrue them, or some gentlemen
whom they wish 20 please will deem them too
fortOrd, and 40 become disgustcd. The
result Is that a man rarely finds out either
the best or the worst points Of his wiles
character before he mnrrits her. Social inter-
course is carried on under a kind Of protest
which places every young woman in n posi-.
ton absolutely false before the eyes ofyoung
men, Many woman owes a life Of cclibacy
and disappointment 20 the fact that she never
felt ut liberty to act out herself
With these statements, II is very easy to
understand the attractions which n young
married woman has for a bachelor and to cx-
plain the phenomenon Of young man falling
IN love with woman older than himself In
the first instance, q married woman becomes
Z |ogrccablc because she becomes perfectly
natural and unconstrained. her circumstances
allowing all the more grateful forms ofpolite-
ncss--the cordial greeting, the compliment
tory attentions, and the free convcrsation-
without the danger of being misconstrucd.
III the uucr iusHuvv, tiiv Wumau tiiuws or
her cuustraint in the same rnnnner, because
she is in the society of one whom she regards
rs, in reality, boy. She finds, very much
to her surprisc that she has won the boys
heart, but it was the Most natural thing in
the M6rld. lie had never got n sight at a
womans nature before. The girls with whom
--hn=h lad associated AaA=AlsrAt. i..aAk-
The real heart behind il he had thus Tar
failed to approhcnd. There is a very general
impression among the men whose affections
are not engaged that the best women are
married, and that those who are left do not
amount to much. They will think differently
sometime or other.
Now my idea is that this universal mask
wearing system should be broken up. It
does injustice to all parties. If there is, in
society, any poor fool Of young man whose
vanity is so opet, TO hattery thet-e- young wo-
man cannot trent him with natural, cordial
politeness, without his thinking that she
would like to marry him, and is trying to
cnsnnro him, let him think so, and trust TO
time and circumstances for justice. Such
men are Of too little account in the world to
pay for carrying dcceitfu face, and despol-
ing the intercourse of the young Of its sweet
est charms. If you like the society Of young
men, take no pains to conceal it, but treat
them with frank eordiality No true gentle
mon among thens Nil -r,iseeastEae- -yau.-It
is not necessary for you TO tell them that you
calculate to live maiden life. They krow
you lie. II will not do to indicate to any
man of sense that you do not like the rt-
tentions and society of gentlemen, for he
knows better. He knows, at least that YOU
ought to like them, and that if you do not,
there is something wrong about you. Dop'l
practice humbug of any kind A man whs
4 is frank and open-hearted with you, deserves
r to be met with a frank and open heart by
4 you and in ninety-nine cases in every hun
+ dred, men will be honorable and manly with
s you, if you will lay aside suspicion, and trust
= them. If man prove himself unworthy of
T. your confidence, you have your remedy. Cut
I him dead, or tell him what you think of him,
v aIa bring him upon his marrow-bones
l have given you my advice, without many
J." qualifications, but do not msconstrue me.
o write upon the supposition that you have got
s common sense, aud know Shat | mean.
5, Some people, l suppose, would present you
o with formula by which to conduct all your
n intercourse with young men. l know a large
r number of fathers and mothers who will think
c that upon this subject ought to guard my
c language, aud be more particular; but
c know very well that if you have not sense
c and prudence enough to take this general
n counsel, and use it judiciously, no qualifca-
J. tons that could make would he of any
, service to you. trust you. | believe you