Smyrna times., 1858-08-26
MIS- CELLANEOU S.
Here She Goes, There She Goes.

at Lhe llme goou zeal OF merrlment:
Not long since, two stylish looking persons
put up for the night in the upper part of the
city. On the morrow, after ordering their bill,
they sent for the landlord, who was not long in
waiting on his aristocratic guests.
81 wish to purchase that old clock up stairs;
will you sell it?" asked the elder, while the
younger lit segar, and cast his eyes over the
columns of newspaper which lay upon the ta-
BILE. The landlord, who had set no great value
upon the clock, except as an heirloom, began
to suspect that it might possess the virtues OF
Martin Heywood's chair, and be filled with
coin; and almost involuntarily, the three as
cended to the room which contained it.
"The fact is," said the elder. 81 once won
twenty pounds with clock like that"
"Twenty pounds!" calculated the landlord.
"Yes! You see there was one like it in a
room down in Essex, and fellow bet me he
could keep his fore-fnger swinging with the
pendulum for an hour. only saying, Here she
goes, there she goes lie couldn't do it.
walked the money out of him in no time"
"You did You couldn't walk it out of me.
I'll bet you ten pounds can do it on the spot %
"Done!" cried the knowing one
The clock struck eight, and with his back to
the table and the door, the landlord popped in
to a chair.
"EIere she goes, there she goes!" and his
finger waved in curve, his eyes fully fixed on
the pendulum. The fellows behind interru ted
Where's the money! Plank the moner."
The landlord was not to lose in that way.
His fore-fnger slowly and surely went with
the pendulum, and his left hand dlsengaeed his
purse from his pocket, which he threw behind
him on the table. All was silent; the dapper
lain
"Shall deposit the money in the hands OF
the waiter %
"Here she goes, there she goes!" was the
only answer.
One of the wags left the room. The land
lord heard him go down stairs; but he was not
10 be disturbed by that trick.
Presently the waiter entered, and touching
him upon the shoulder, Asked
"Mr. B, are you crazy! What are you
doing %
Here she goes, there she goes - he respond
ed, his hand waving the fore-hnger before.
The waiter rushed down stairs; he called
one of the neighbours and asked him TO 90 up.
They ascended. aud the neghbor, seizing him
gently by the collar, in an imploring voice
said
Mr.. B, do not sit here. Come, como
down stairs; what can possess you to sit here e.
"Hcre she goes, there she goes!" was the
sole reply, and the solemn face and the slowly
moving finger settled the matter. lie waS
mad
"He is mad" whispered the friend in low
voice; "we mdet 60 for a doctor"
The landlord was not to be duped, he was
not to be deceived, although the whole town
came to interrupt him.
"You had better call up his wife," added The
friend
Here she goes, there she goes!" repeated
the landlord, aud his hand still moved on.
In minute his wife entered full of agony Of
soul.
"My DEAR" she kindly said, "look on me-
It is your wife who speaks!"
Here she goes, there she goes - and his
hand continued to 60, bs& his wife wouldn't 60 );
she would stay, and he thought she was deter
mined to conspre against him and make him
lose the wager. She wept, and she continued
"What cause have you for this! Why do
you do so 20 Has your wife"
"Here she goes, there she goes!" and his
finger seemed to be tracing her airy progress,
for anything she could ascertain TO the con-
trary.
"My DEAR" she still continued. thinking
that the thought of his child whom he fondly
loved, would tend to restore him, " shall call
up your daughter !'
q" Here she goes, there she goes!" the land
lord again repeated, his eyes becoming more
and more fixed and glazed, from the steadness
of the gaze. slight smile, which had great
effect upon the minds of those present, played
upon his face, as he thought upon the many un-
successful resorts to win him from his purpose
and of his success in battling them. The ply
sician entered He stood by the side of the
busy man. He looked at him in silence, shook
his head, and to the anxious INJURY of his
wife answered.
"No, madam! The fewer persons here the
better. The maid had better stay away; do
not let the maid
Here she goes, there she goes !" yet again,
in harmony with the waving finger, issued from
the lips OF the landlord.
"a consultation, think, will be necessary,
said the physician. "Whl you run for DR..
A-W
The kicd neighbor buttoned up his coat and
hurried from The room.
| In a few minutes DIR. A., with another
medical gentleman entered.
"This is sorry sight," said he to the doctor
with him.
Indeed cit is SIR" was the reply. at is q
sudden attack, one of tho"
| Here she goes, there she goes !" was the
sole reply. Tue physicians stepped into cor
ner and consulted together.
"Will you be good enough to run for bar
ber? We must have his head shaved and bills
tered" said DIR. A..
T sc All, poor dear husband" said the lady, +"
fear he will never know his miserable Wife"
Here she goes. there she goes!' said tn
landlord, with little more emphasis, and
more nervous, yet determined waving of tn
finger in concert with the pendulum; for tn
minute hand was near the tWetUe-that poin
which was to put twelve pounds into his pocke
if the hand arrived at 1t without suffering hin
self to be interrupted.
, The wife, in low, bewailing tone, continue
!, her utterances-
. .Nn! never; nor his daughter"
"IIere she gees, there she goes almo'