The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1858-10-07
Mr.. Biini.., Baby.

The first baby was q great institution. As soon as
he came into this breathing WORLD as the late
VIM. Shakespeare has it. he took command in our
house. Everything was suhservient to him. The
baby Was the balance-wheel that regulated every
thing He regulated the Temperature, he regulated
the food, he regulated the servants, he regulated me.
For the drst six months of that precious existence,
she woke me up on an average six times a night.
MIR. Blifkins. says my wife, bring that li-ht
here, do, the baby looks strangely; I'm so afraid it'll
have q 6tr' OF course the lamp was brought, and
white bear, as he was. "Mr. B~Iifkins,, said my
wife, 81 think I feel q draught Of air; I wish you
would get up and see IL the window is not open . lit
tie. because baby might get sick" Nothing was the
matter With the window, as I knew very well.
Blifkins" said my wife. just as l was going TO sleep
again, :" that lamp, as you have placed 1t, shines d.
rectly in bahy's eyes-strapge that you have no more
consideration" l arranged the light and went to
bed again. just As was dropping to sleep again,
" Mr.. Blifkins," said my wife, : did YOU think TO
buy that broms to-day for the baby % :. My DEAR
said l, will You do me the injustice to believe for a
moment that | could overlook a matter 50 essential TO
he comfort Of that inessimable child - She apollo
sized very handsomely, but made her anxiety the
scare goat. l forgave her. and without saying a
word more to her, | addressed myself TO sleep. s'Mr.
8iifkins." said my wife, shaking me. " you must not
snore 50; you viii wake the baby" "Jest so-jest
So" said |. half asleep. thinking I was Scion Shin
gle "Mr. Btifkins." said my wife, viii you get
up, and hand me the warm Cruel from the nurse
amp, for baby 1.-THE dear child, if it wasn't for its
mother I don't know what it could do How can
you sleep 20. MI. Blifkins.s 81 suspect, my dear,
hat il is because | am tired" "Oh it's very we'll
6r you men TO talk about being tired, > said my wife;
81 don't know what you would say. IL you mad to
Toll and drudge like a poor woman with a bsby." I
tried to soothe her, by telling her that she had no pa
fence at all, and got up for the posset. Having aided
n answering the baby's requirements. I stepped into
bed again, with the hope Of sleeping :" Mr.. Blif-
Sins," said my wife. I made no answer. MI.
Blifkins.' said she in q louder key. I said nothing.
oh, dear.' said that estimable woman, in great
apparent anguish, how can a man, who has arrived
II the honor Of. having a live baby Of his own, sleep,
shen he don't know that the dear creature will live
ill morning." 1remained silent, and, after a while,
deeming that Mrs. Blifkins had gone to sleep, |
stretched my limbs for repose. How long l slept, I
don't know; but I was awakened by a furious jab in
the forehead by some sharp instrument. started
up, and Mrs Blifkins was sitting in the bed, adjust
ing some portion Of the baby's dress She had, in a
state ct mi-somnoleD mistaken my head for the
pillow, which she customarily used for a pin cushion.
| protested against such treatment, in rather warm
language, pointing to several perforations in my fore
bead. She told me I should willingly bear such TIL
ding things, for the baby. insisted upon it that I
didn't think my duty as a parent to that young i'm
mortal required the surrender of my head for a pin
cushion This was one Of the many nights passed in
this way. The truth was that baby Tis-an nufocrat
absolute and unlimited. Such was the story of
Blifkins, as he related il to us the other day. Ii is
. litfle-exaggerat d picture Of almost every man ex-
perience.