The weekly Butte record., 1858-11-13
How to Keep an Umbrella.

An hundred years Sibce, AL Lug
ed Jonas Hanway, having returned from his
"traycls in the east" appeared on the streets OF
London on rainy day, with an umbrella 1t
was the FIRST ever seen or used IN England lie
WAS soon surrounded by furious mob. and was
pelted with mud and other convenient missiles,
for his presumptuous audacity IN thus attemp-
ting to screen his head and figure from the
rain. The incident made noise, and in spite
of ridicule, the "outlandish, new-fashioned no
tion." began to "take nightly" and as the new
machine was found to be as effective in protec-
ting the person against the rays Of the sum-
mer's sun, as against the falling rain, the learn
ed condescended to borrow name for it from
the Latin diminutive form of "umbrc'-a
umbrella little shade. Poor Jonas
Hanway's innovation, 80 unpopular at first,
merely shows what disadvantage it is to man
to be few years in advance Of the age.
Beard, the Cincinnati artist, recently inven-
ted o plan to stop that most inconvenlent and
unpunishabe crime umbrella theft, which we
intend to make public, at the risk OF violating
the patent laws We will tell the story as he
related it:
| had bought fine silk umbrella and started
for the Burnet House, on a rainy day, when ]
began to reflect upon extravaganza, and 10
broad and safe cover, whether or not il would
90 the way Of all umbrellas, and leave ne to
the "pestilcss petings of the ST orm, before the
day was over. True, | could keep it in my
hand but then | was occasionally so absent
minded that would be just as apt TO set it
down in public barroom, or even to have It
quietly taken cut Of my hand by an adroii
.purloiner" Suddenly an idea occurred. /
stepped into hardware store and purchased
small paddock.
On arriving at the hotel, closed my unl-
brella, slipped the lock upon the wire spring
which keeps it shut, and deposited II with the
most perfect confidence in the public rack. !
was not lor,g waiting for customer. splen-
did looking fellow, with goatee ard nous
tache, stepped up with the most perfect non
ckalance and took my identical umbrella. l
quietly sauntered toward the door, giving
casual glance at the weather my hero essay
cd to spread the sfelterirg silk but alas it
was no go-again, still worse. What the
duce was the matter? he looked-saw the trap,
and the fall of his countenance was exactly the
step from the sublime to the ridiculous l had
so often heard Of but never seen before. Ny
umbrella was quietly deposited in its place, and
my gentleman meekly sauntercd towards the
reading room, and slipped out of another door
umbrea-iesS.
was by no means satisfied with one expert
ment In little while saw one Of the most
brazen appropriations of small things (he was
especially hard ON lunches and drinks-free) in
all Cincinnati. "Now, said l, lis my chance"
This customer had an article in his hand,
which might in courtesy be styled the "ghost
OF on umbrella" and cotton at that. With a
grandioquent air, he deposited it right along
side of mine, and went to the bar. There he
picked up treat (it was election time, and
ate crackers and cheese enormously Thence
to the reading-room, with my eyes still on him,
and in less than minute, with shrug, and
buttoning up his coat an extra button. he pass
ed in rapid, business manner to the door,
picked up my umbrella, with scarcely glance
rs he went along. was on hand. With
sudden movement he attempted to raise it; no
go,
Again! Still failure! With u decision
perfectly Napoleonic, and worthy of the oc-
casion, he was about to tear the slight OBJ
struction, when ttepped up and said
"Dont do that! III lend you the key y
"Ah, Mr. Beard Ha. Strange mistake
thought it was my own. Good device think
I'll adopt it."
And with the most perfect case, he put my
umbrella down, and took his own and uamoos-
ed.
was satisfied. l had found out how to
Keep an umbrella and now ON Oh my way
to Washington to take out patent for it.