The Tiffin tribune. [volume] (Tiffin, Ohio) 1848-1859, 1858-02-12
oNAa am Gn05.

Ills this. "The cat loves fish, but daros
no, wet Der feet"
whv ars teeth Ike verbs7 Because
they are regular, irregular, and defective
Whatever may bo the reputation Of = |
man while alive, whom dead be is genor /
ally allowed to be finished gentleman.
The strongest kind Of hint-a young
ATTY askug 3 gentleman to see if ore Of
her rings will 81 on his little dngor
The question has ofton been asked,
whs, Is the alsgo spoken Of in Lady Mac
beih's fines,
HLetting dare not wait upon would,
Like the poor cat L the adago'Y
Unqaestionably deafness Is generally
calamity. In the company Of some peo-
pie, however, il Is decidedly blessing.
The cheapest excursion you can make
Is into tho realms Of fancy return
tioket IS required, and q collision
woalln't XIII you
The famous VIM Penn had a scapegrace
relative, whom our punning ancestors de-
scribed as ''pen that had been often cut
nnd never menued'
A leading broker being asked, the 9TH
er day how his child was, answered, al-
m1st ia tears. "Very ill-woull not
give two per cent for his life."
Mr.. Bagdanof Of 81. Potorsburgh, an
nounoes that, by new method, he has
succeeded IN extracting from bird feath-
ers tho pigments which color thom.
Tho age is becoming more refined.
"Root hog or die," Is now rendered as
follows; Penetrate the subsoil, my por-
cine friend, or early expect an obituary
notice on your unumely demise"
"You are no gentleman" said an angry
disputaut TO his antagonist, "dr6 y0uP"
quietly observed tho other eyes, am,
SIR" "Then am not, was the caustio
reply.
A young gentleman who has just mar
Tied little beauty, says ''sne would have
been taller, but she is Of such precious
materials that Nature couldn't afford Il.
"Mt, Smith, don't you think Mr.. Skee-
sioks is young man Of parts?" "De.
odedly so, Miss Brown; he ia part numb
skull, aud part knaye aud part fool"
Manageable young women are in great
demand out West. A Yankee writing
from that section, 10 his father, says:
Suppose you get our girls some new
teeth and send them out"
a bankrupt. on being condoled with for
his embarrassment, replied; "Oh, | am
not at all embarrassed, II is my creditors
that are embarrassed"
Our Tom, who is reckless quiz,
Desires, considering the time, to know,
Why 0vory man Macbeth is2
Because each has his own Bank-woo.
vzRY CooL.-Tho following CORES.
pondenco, which is said to have passed
over tho lelegraphic wires, is decidedly
cool even Tor these hard timos.
"Mr----: Ono year ago tonight /
lent you SI.87. II you hayo not had II
long enough, please keep il one year more.
Do you wish IL? Answer. Yours, &C."
"Mr.--: Forgot tho fact some time
ago; hoped you had. Lot hor run anoth-
or year then. Yours, &c."
Liston went to Paris in 1890. and was
one day walking in front Of tho Hotel
Meurlce, with his tongue hanging out Of
his mouth.
"What are You doing that for?" asked
bis intimate friend, Potter
"Why," replied the eccentric man,
"I'm learning your language, and | want
20 catch the accent"
A ootemporary, in reporting a dying
mans confession at the gallows, says;
The culprit affirmed that the first step"
in his career Of crime, was that Of ''not
paying for newspaper" Prentice con-
tends that depends upon circumstances
If It were a locofooo newspaper, the fel.
lows ",fri step" in the oaleor Of crime
was in "taking 1.-THE second in not
paying for i'll
Brown met Jones In State street, aud
said; "Ahl Jones, my boy, you're just
the man l wanted to soc. There's a sad
die horse met with the other day that
I'n pass over to you, il you like" Thank
YOU, no." said Jones. 81 believe not; the
fact is, I've had sad Posses enough Of my
own this fall to take care of Exit
Brown.
A PnuANTuRortsT AND A MIsAN-
THRorn "A misanthrope hates all man.
kind. but is kind to everybody general.
ly too kind A phianthropo loves the
whole human race. but dislikes his wife,
his mother, his brother. his friends and
scduaintaucss. Misanthropo is like the
poIato---rough and repulsiye outside, but
good to the core. Philanthrope Is peach
Ibis manner al velvet and bloom, and
his words sweet juice. but his heart oI
hearts stone. Lot me read Philan.
thFope's book. and fall mto tho hands oi
NisanthrOpe.- White Lies.
c. G. Leland, in one Of his recent es
says afler speaking Of poem in which 4
lady tells her poor lover, who proposes
marriage that "she viii wait for the car
riage," says:
"Bul don't wait for tie oarriage---noW
don'tl There is story in Northoote';
Fables Of crane that went fishing. and