davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1858-08-04
A FsRsr RATE NOTICE F'UH
THE SMITHS.

Smith, the razor sttop man, is about
again: He is not ashamed of bis patroii-
ymie-he rather glories III it. In the
course of a recent harrangue, in ono OF
our neighhoring cities, Smith admins
tered the following consolation to the great
family to which he has the honor to be-
long.
Gentlemen, my name is Smith, aid !
am proud to say am not ashamed Of It.
1t may be that ito person III this crowd
owns that very uncomniou name. If,
however, there t'e one sucli; let him hold
up his head, pull up his dickey, turn Out
his toes, take courage, and thank his stars
there are few moro left of the sans
SOFT:
Smith, gentlemen is All illustrious name;
And stands very high in the atnals of fame;
Let White, Jones and Brown increase as
they will,
Believe me that Smith will outnuniber them
still. - l}."
Gentlemen, am proud of being an o.
riginal Smith not Smithe nor sihyth
but regular, natural, original Smith,
Putting in the middle, or an at the
end, won't do gentlemen. Who ever
heard of a great man by the name Of
Smyth, or Smithe! Echo answere who.
and everybody says nobody. But as for
Smith; plain Smith, why the pillars of
fame are covered with that honored and
revered name.
Who were the most racy, witty and pop
ular authors of this century? Horace
and Albert Smith. ta~
Who the most original, pithy and hu-
morous preacher! Rev, Sidney Smith:
To go back further, who was the bra
vest and boldest soldier in Sumpter's ar
my, in the Revolution? A. Smith.
Who palayered with Powhattan, gall
wanted with Pocahontas, and became the
ancestor of the first families in Virginia.!
A. Smith. ieas.a6
And who, ashland I ask tie qles-
ton seriously and soberly-who, l say,
is that man, and what is his name who
has fought the most battles, made the
most Speeches, preached the most ser
mons, held the most Offices, sung the
most songs written the most poems, cour-
ted the most women, kissed the most girls,
run away with the most wives, and mar
ried the most widows2 History says,
you sag, Isay, and everybody says, John
Smith,
The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1858-08-04

CARRIE PERKINS PRAYER. - Little
Carrie Perkins was great pet Of mino
Indeed she was the sunbeam Of the
house. She was only three years old,
but she had a strangely mature way of
talking, sometimes, that made her seem
very interesting. Every night I went to
her room for q good night kiss, and new
er shall l forget how sweetly she used to
look in her little night dress, as she knelt
down at her mothers side ana said, "Our
father" nor how reverently she used to
fold her little hands at the close, and
say
sGood night, dear God, please take
good care of little Carrie,
"Why, Carrie said her mother, the
first time she added this to her prayer,
aYou shouldn't talk TO God SO.
"Shouldn't I!' said the little prattler !;
II love God, and why shouldn't | say
good night to him before | go to sleep,
lust as 1 do to you and Aunt Annie"
Her mother looked thoughtfully, but
only replied by kissing her, and always
after that she repeated her good night Pc
tition.
The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1858-08-04

AFFECTING INcIDENT.-We are in
debtcd to Mr.. L, recently returned
from a whaling voyage, for the following
touching narrative:
On the home voyage of one of our
New York and Liverpool packets, she be-
ing crowded with emigrants, that awful
scourgc, the ship fever, broke out. The
carpenter of the vessel, one of natures
noblemen, and hayii G on board his little
son, a lad of some twelve summers, was
one Of the first victims. His shipmates
sadly enclosed his body in his hammock,
and having read over him the burial SER
vice, and attached to his feet a grindstone
for the purpose Of sinking it, committed
it to the embrace of old ocean. The poor
boy, overcome with grief at the loss Of
his natural protector, spraug overheard,
and before he could be rescued, was be-
yond the reach OF human aid.
On the day following the burial, large
shark was seen in the wake of the ship,
and rs it was almost calm, the sailors as
ked permission to catch it, which was
readily granted by the captain. Having
procured hook and attached a chain
and line, and baited it with pork, they
cast it over, and soon had the exciting
pleasure Of hooking the monster, and with
the aid of the windlass, they hauled the
writhing mass on board. As it lay on
the deck in its death struggles, the sal
lors heard a singular rumbling noise, that
seemed to proceed from within the dy-
ing captive. Taking a ship axe, they
soon cut their way into the now dead fish
and to their great surprise, found that it
had swallowed the carpenter, grindstone
and boy, and that the former who had
swooned, had rugged up the grindstone,
and with the assistance of the boy to turn
it, e0as just grinding has jack knife TO
cut his a0ay out.
The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1858-08-04

The Irish Schoolmastcr dreamed that
the poor lads he had taught for TIE sweet
sake Of their mothers in Heaven, were the
rounds of a ladder that enabled him to
reach it at last, and why should not his
dream be rs true rs the Tinker's immor-
tai: And we cannot tell why many
Bethel-bcrt beam may not tremble to
earth even here, as in the Patriarch's
dream--ts ladder of light, worn smooth
by the beautiful feet of Angels ever com
ing and going; the Angels that shall de-
scend even to the pillows of stone in the
Wilderness world, aud make 'sthe ivory
gate, )" the very threshold Of the blest.
But we are sure it will not be the deed
in the great Congregation; the gift of
gold told down with the chime of bells,
and the worlds acclaim; we are not sure
it may not be word, tone, a gentle
smile, and sao evrie of silver and gold for
the bird of our banner and a handful of
stars; we are not sure but the human
heart opens wider, to the silent dew of
sympathy than it does to the deed of
ostentatious Beneficence; bat there is ore
thing the furnished need quite as much as
they need food: the sight OF the hand of
the giver,
The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1858-08-04

B1L1Y P. was making a journey in a
stage coach. over the billy roads in the
Western part of the State, and amused
himself on the way by frequent resorts to
the comfort Of a black mysterious bottle
which He had with him. Suddenly the
coach came in contact with large stone,
which, without doing any other damage,
deprived Billy of his equilibrium, and
down he rolled on the ground. "Wot'n
thunder are yer doing?" said Billy; show
came you to tip the stage oyer?" The
driver informed him that the stage had
not been overturned at all and the pas
sengers assured Billy that Jehu was right.
Billy approached the vehicle again, and
rernounted slowly to his former seat out
side. "Did not upset d'you say" "Not
at ALL" replied the driver" "Well, il
I'd known that said Billy, 81 wonldat
ha' got Of"
The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1858-08-04
WORDS WORTH.

1t is my profound Conviction that it
was rather to the moral elevation of his
poetry, than to his intellectual or sesthet-
ic capacities, that Wordsworth owed the
fame and influence lie acquired. AS YOU
yielded yourself to his guidance, you pass
ed into d regiln removed alike from that
in which the genius Of Scott and that iii
which the genius Of Byron loved to cx-
patiate. You left behind that joyous land
Of fairy, ringing with the voice of streams
and birds, bright with the flower and foam
iii which you wandered with the border
minstrel. You passed beyond the troub-
led atmosphere, where the cloudy grand
eurs Of the Byronic poetry were unfoided.
You stood on the mountains brow
There at last was, the still, nhfathon1ablo
azure, seeming to look with calm, eter-
nal smile dh the wild glttering, far below
Of the lightnings Of passion, aa
As men stood with Wordsworth ON
the mountains brow, they seemed to feel
around them the waving ofangel's wings,
and they looked npoh bis face as if it
were the face of an angel. His mind was
irremediably wanting in all those quail
ties which give keenness and intensity to
emotion, and practical force to thought.
terseness and brilliancy to style. The al
senee from his mental constitution of any
sense Of wit or humor was, in its com
pleteness, scarcely human. IF one may
be pardoned the expression, his soul wan
ted chrystalizing. Had you cleared his
eye by one fash of that critical penetra-
ton which dwelt in the eye Of Pope; had
yon edged his glance with one ray Of the
quick, piercing caustic fire which belongs
to Byron, how YOU would have enriched
him. The value Of wit, and tie crit
ical faculty, is, perhaps, not so great to
the world at large as to their own posses
sor; they warn him by silent, instructive
monitions, from the ridiculous, the child
ish, the insan9.-Peter Boyne's essays
The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1858-08-04

has been, and what might have been; and
his kickshaw of a daughter-why I, Deb
by Lennox, a lone old woman that | am,
would not change places with would
not give up my peaceable feelings for hers,
for all the gold in the kings Golfers; and
for the most part, since | have taken a
peep into what's called the world, | have
seen little to envy among the great and
the gay, the rich and handsome"
"And yet, Miss Debby," said Grace,
:" the world looks upon these as the privi-
legged classes"
"Ahl the world is foolish, and stupid
besides"
swell, Miss Deborah, | have unbound
ed confidence in your wisdom, but since
my lot is cast in this same evil 7orld, [
should be sorry to think there was no
good in II.
"That is what did not and would not
say. There Is good in everything and
everywhere, if we have but eyes to see it,
and hearts to confess it. There is some
pure gold mixed with all this glitter;
some here that seem to have as pure
hearts and just minds as if they had nev-
er stood in the dazzling sunshine Of for
tune"
You mean to say, Deborah" said
Ellen, "that contentment is modest,
prudent spirit and that for the most part,
she avoids the high places Of the earth,
where the sun burns, and the tempests
beat, and leads her favorites along quiet
wales, and to sequestered fountains"
"Just aohdt | would have said, Ellen,
though it may not be just as [ should
have said it." replied Deborah, smiling.
+" You young folks like to dress off every
thing with garlands, while such plain
old body as /, only thinks Of the substan-
tails Catharine Maria Sedgacich.
The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1858-08-04

tongue to them until they can run alone:
set before them the examples of utter
fools to make them smart; mistake them
for geese, and stuff them with food alike
for stomach and brain, and have lust
what they nistook them for-qeese at
last; geese that neither wear feathers nor
lay eggs; and inasmuch as the United
States are cut Of Polynesia, Patagonia
and such cannibalistic places, they are
forbidden as edibles, and to finish all, a
HUMBER OF years sometimes elaps e, before
the discovery is made, that they are pre-
cisely good for nothing.
Then they thrust them full of pins, and
'spank" them if they cry; swathe them
up like a new, weak cheese in a dairy
room, and then mourn because there is
something the matter with their dia-
phragms; smother them up with blankets,
like dough in the process Of "risine," and
grieve about something pulmonary; say
"be stilr' to every inquiry they venture
to make about the world they have gotten
into, and wonder what makes them such
incorrigible boobies; whip them for acct
dentally breaking plate, and wink at a
pertness that is first cousin to downright
inpudence; marvel what makes them so
pale, when they pile them up in boxes, to
sleep; speculate on what makes them so
passionate, when they never punish them
except they a;c angry, nor DO them the
merest Justice only when the sun shines.
So they kill them number Of times over
with kindness, and expect them to live
and thrive, and grow old, to take care Of
theirparents who have been growing older
the while.
The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1858-08-04

re- During the search instituted by
the editor of the Newark Times, for fe-
male composers, it is reported that the
following dialogue took place:
Brister- Good morning Mr.. Henpeck
Have YOU got any daughters that would
make good type-setters! =
Henpeek-''N o-but I've got wife
that would make good ''devil.'
The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1858-08-04

From, the AHa'.tic Monthly.
Have you seen Annie and Kitty,
Two little children of mine?
All that is winning and pretty
Their little persons combine.
Annie is kissing and clinging
Dozens of times in day.
Chattering, laughing, and singing,
Romping, and running away.
Annie knows all of her neighbors,
Dainty and dirty alike
Learns all their talk, and, ''be iabers,"
Says she "adores little Mker'
A nnie goes mad for flower,
Eager to pluck and destroy,-
Cuts paper dolls by the hour,
Always her model--a boy!
Annie is full fiber fancies,
Tells most rcmarkable lies,
(Innocent little romanccs,)
Startling in one of her size.
Three little prayers we have taught her,
Graded from winter to spring;
oh, you should listen my daughter
Saying them all in q string
Kitty-ah how my heart blesses
Kitty, my lilly, my rose
Wary of all my caresses,
Chary of all she bestows.
Kitty loves quietest places,
Whispers sweet sermons to chairs,
And, with the grave st of faces.
Teaches old Carlo his prayers.
Matronly, motherly creature.
Oh, what. doll she has built
Guiltless of figure or feature
Out other own little quilt!
Nought must come near it to wake it.
Noise must not give it alarm;
And when she sleeps, she must take it
Into her bed, on her arm
Kitty is shy ola caller,
Uttering never aword;
But when alone in the parlor,
Talks to herself like bird.
Kitty is contrary, rather,
And, with comical smile,
Mhtters 81 WON'T" to her father,
Eying him slyly the while.
Loving Que more than another,
Isn't the thing, confess;
And | observe that their mother
Makes no distinction in dress.
Preference must be improper
In a relation like this;
I wouldn't toss up a copper
kitty, come, give me kiss
The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1858-08-04

A STORY is told Of a man who going on
an excursion, took care to forget his wife.
"What do. you mean YOU goed-tor-noth-
ipe rascal. You were going to leave with
out me.w "Why my dear, this is q pleas
ure excursion.
The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1858-08-04

CHARLES LAMB holding his umbrella
over poor old washcr-woman, in the
streets of London, because lis own mo-
ther was a woman, and Jacob fastening
to be courteous at Haran's well are parts
of one picture-Jacob and s'Ellia"-the
gentleman of the long ago and the gen.
Lleman of yesterday.
The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1858-08-04
HIGHLAND MARY.

Ye banks and braes. and streams around
The castle o Montgomery,
Green be your woods and fair Your flowers,
Your waters never drumlie
There simmer first unfold her robes,
And there the longest tarry;
For there | took the last farewell
o. my sweet Highland Mary.
How sweetly bloomed the gay green birk,
How rich the hawthorn's blossom;
As underneath their fragrant shade,
claspd her to my bosom.
The golden hours, on angel wings,
Flew DER me and my dearie;
For dear aslife and light to me.
Was my sweet Highland Mary.
Wi many. a vow and lock'd embrace,
Our parting was tull tender
And, pledging oft to meet again,
We tore ourselves asunder:
But oh ! fell deaths untimelv frost
That nipt my flower so earlyl
Now green's the sod, and colds the CLAW,
That wraps my Highland Mary. =
o, pale, pale now, those rosy lips,
oft have kiss'd so fondly
And closed, for aye, the sparkling glance,
That dwelt on me so kindly
And mould ring won, IN silent dust,
That heart that loved me dearly
But still, within my bosom's core,
Shall live my Highland Mary.
The time I've lost in wooing,
In watching and pursuing
The light that hes
In women's eyes,
Has been my hearts undoiug,
Though wisdom oft has sought me,
lscorned the lore she brought me,
Ny only books
Were woman's looks,
And folly's all they've taught me.
Moore.
By ignorance is pride increased.
The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1858-08-04

By ignorance is pride increased,
They most assume who know the least.
The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1858-08-04

The plough, the press, and the Yankee
are bound to go together around the
world. When the last makes "a claim, :"
he begins by guiding the first, and setting
up the second, and straightway becomes
a State.
EVERY man has q right to something
whereby he shall be remcmbered-somo-
thing worthy, and noble, and beautiful,
that shall live while he lives, and survive
when he is dead. To be like an ephcIn-
eron, and leave no trace in the little sum
mer beam we sport in; to pass away like
the wreath of April snow, whether to the
clod OF the cloud 10 one can tell, makes
us shrink from that dumb and dusty re-
maindor we call death,
The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1858-08-04

We envy the poets when, at their
touch a great truth springs into existence
NTH ats clothes on, whereof you can no
more divest It, than you can star Of its
light; truth, to which the words are as
closely fitted, and yet as yielding and
beautiful, as the azure that wraps the
globe, and the mountains on it. and the
valleys, and the yiolets in them. There
are such truths and thus arrayed-a few
that nobody has been able to amend,
that have stood like the stars, unoblitera-
ted through times longest ghts.
The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1858-08-04

WE do not believe in ''modcl' children;
the poor little mannil1ins that speak just
so, and do just so, and breathe according
to a parental ''tilne-table.' Oh. no, We
have no such 2'enchant for the mechani-
cal arts as that We want dear. old
fashioned, vulgally healthful, wildly romp-
ing children, in checked aprons that come
up to their chns, that make love to Mo
Their Earth, eat bread and milk, and get,
after while, to be cheerful, earnest men
and women, that have the memory of q
glorious childhood, full of the freedom,
the beauty and the beginnings IF living
and loving, that shall keep them young
and Stror@, even TO lies end.
The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1858-08-04

THE world is full of melody, if only we
had hearts to hear; the calmest Noon,
and the Night that lies breathless under
the throbbing stars; the loneliest cape of
the green earth, and the boldest promon-
tory jutting out into Heaven, have their
troubadors and their 1ninstreIsy; bugles
are sweetIy blown from among the leaves;
trumpets are sounded from the fallen
trees; love-making goes on in the grass
beneath our feet; bridal bells ring in the
air over our heads, and the. accents of
war come to us from some small .'Redan'
of moss, some tiny "Malakoff" of hill
lock. -
TnE style of N. P. Willis deceiyes
those people who believe that man who
presents you thought, must by the same
sign, exhibit bones and boulders; that q
sledge hammer or fist is the character
istic of au argument, and that an article
to be profoundly wise must be confound-
eily dry. The condemners of Willis be-
long to the great Dry-as-diist family, who
should confne their genius principally to
cellar walls and plaster Of Paris. Just as
If God did not cover the dark bosom Of
the earth with flowers of beauty; just as
if He did not embroider the white man
ties of the mountains with Spring.
IT may seem queer statement, but
we believe that morning gown and slip
pers are demoralizing articles of apparel,
mans wearing. The thought is apt to be
shutting like the feet, and energy smoth-
cred by the folds of the flowing robe.
The great Apostle to the Gentiles did not
believe in such selni-feminine attire, for
he had a great deal to say about being
'girded up" to word and work. We
once knew queer fellow, who used to
spit upon his hands, like wood-chopper,
when he was about to think, and who
buttoned up his coat when he wanted to
be energetic. and there was sort of rude
but true philosophy in his singular prepa-
rations.
PEOPLE have found out how to raise
pigs and poultry; they are au fat in the
matter of calves, colts and kittens, but,
bless us, how little they do know about
babies. They talk the "muzzy fuzzy"
The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1858-08-04

MY CHILDREN,

From. the -AtLa5stic Monthly.
The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1858-08-04
SELECTIONS.

yer Falls, August LIST, 1858.
The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1858-07-10
meteorological.

During the month Of June the average
height Of Thermometer at ? i. NJ, In the
shade, was "a degrees, The two warmes,
days we're the 2iih and 18th, when the mcr,
curry stood at 81 degrees O, ? T.. NJ. The
coolest day was the 9th, when the mercury
stood at 40 at : A, NJ The Thermometer
stood above so on eleven different days
eight out Of the eleven we're IN succession
and above 20 c on % different days.
The Barometer was highest on the 23d at
: A. NJ. (2gGS inchc,l and lowest on the
10th at o p. NJ, (20,oi inchcO a difference
Of only O. one huudrcths Of an inch.
Rain fell on Is diIcren, days, IN al to the
depth Of i3G inches, The heaviest fan at
any one time was on the nigh, of the 25th,
when It fcl TO the depth Of 100 inches
There we're Eve thunder showers. The sun
vas entirely ohscurcd by clouds on seven dir
icrcnt days. r.