Staunton vindicator and general advertiser. (Staunton, Augusta County, Va.) 1858-1860, 1858-09-11

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so I lost nothing by being ugly that
time. AFTER got inter Mobile, however,
[ was bothered and pestered by the people
stoppin' in the street to look at NEAL dirty
and lightwood smoked as | was from beln'
on the boat"
4 think I'd cleaned up little inter-
posed tidy Lucy.
odd 'oman amt you got nary cold later
to choke that gal WITH Well, they looked
the hardest at me you ever did see. But
| have got ahead Of my story. A few days
afore there had been boat busted. and
heap of people followed me in, and lowed
SEE he, it's one of the unfortunate sufferers
by Dustin Of the franklin and upon that
he asked me to drink with him, and as l
had my tumbler half way to my mouth, he
stopped mo OF q sudden.
Beg your pardon, stranger-but says he.
But what? ses I.
'Jist-jist Jir your mouth that scdy dgsnl
ses he.
I done it jist like 1 was goin to drink, and
I'll be whipped if I did'n think the whole
Of 'em would 60 into fits. They yelled and
whooped like a gang Of wolves. Finally,
one Of EN- ses, don't make fun of the I'M
fortunate; he's hardly got over bein bowed
up yet. Let's make up a purse for him.
Then they all throwed in and made up five
dollars; as the spokesman handed me the
change, he axed me, ''Whar did you find
yourself after the 'splosion p
In fat boat SEES I.
How far from the Franklin? 2 ses he.
Why ses I, I never seen her, but as !
can guess, it mast have been, from what
they tell me, nigh on to three hundred and
seventy-fve miles. You oughter seen
that gang scatter. AS they left says one,
it's the ugly man Of all =
Knocking around the place, ] came upon
one Of these fellers that grinds music out'n
a mahogany box. He had little monkey
along peartest, least bit Of critIer
you ever seed! Well bein fond Of music
and varmints, [ gets pretty close to the
masheen, and darned eff twan't hard to tell
which got the most praise, me Or the mon
)key. Howsoever, at last [ got close up,
and the darned thing kotched sight Of me
and squealed It jumped off'n the box in a
fright, and hanged itself BY it's chain. The
grinder histed it up agin but it squealed
morn ever, and jerked and twisted and run
over the keeper, and jumped off'n his back,
and hanged itself again. The sight @ me
had run it distracted! At last the grinder
hilt it to his bosom, and ses he
Go ways oagly man-maunkee frald
much oaglyp
'Ses I, 60 to Guinea, you old heathern'-
you see he was some sort of dutch chap or
another-'if you compare me to your dirty
monkey again, I'll throw it out Of sight,
and split that lid box over your head And
ses he right off agin:
'Maunkee is pettier ash dat much oagly
man 7
'Ses I, gentlemen you hear this criter
compar me, free born Amarakin, to bis
burned heather dumb brute of Afriky; and
with that sent the monkey sailing about
sixty-fve yards, over brick wall and the
mint the Dutchman and his box was the
most mixed up pile Of rags and splinters
you ever seen in one mud-hole. About
that time too, thar was as pretty up country
runnin on top O them bricks as you'll com
monty see. I lay up for two or three days
and at last made my way through to We
tumky, in the cabin.
We'll, my last Experience was about a
year ago. got ketched in hurricane, it
was blowin' like blases, and thunder and
the Htenin was tremenjus-so ! gifts under
a big red oak, and thar I sot till the litenln
struck hit! | was leanin agin the tree
when the bolt come down shiverin' and
splinterin all before it, it hit me right here
and then"
Good heavens did lightnin disfgure
your face so?
'Dis6gure thunder! No! The lightnin'
struck me right on the head, as I was say
ing, and than it glanced Y
Mercy! Mercy! calculated Mrs. Wallis.
Hoao 7owns Groao IN the West.-It seems
that very far out west there was tribe Of
Indians who lived in very secluded, vast
wilderness, where they had owed for
their lodges long time. One fine morn
ing they all started off on horse stealing
excursion, and did not return for many
days. When they did, they found first
class hotel, with niger walters and gongs,
wine cart and Johannisberg, on the spot
where there council lodge had been, and a
town scattered all around it, with lots at
two hundred dollars foot! Entcrprising
people, this
Distressing Drought There has been
no rain of any consequence in Westmore-
land county, Va, for nearly three months
An estate, upon which two thousand bar
rels Of corn are usually produced, owing to
the effects of the drought, will not realize
its owner this season, one fourth Of that
quantity. The corn throughout the coun-
try, except that on very moist land, is SINH
larly damaged.
Cutting To6acco.-Some of the farmers
in Henry county, Va, are cutting their to-
bacco already. It is not ripe but they find
that the lower leaves are burning up to
such an alarming extent as to compel them
to it.
A gentleman having been asker on his
return from the party the other evening
whether he had seen Mise W, young
lady neted for her low-necked style Of
l.aoa ,o,1;od bo tsHnI Soon ~ nnoI 1erz nj