Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1858-10-07
A SHORT PATENT SERMON.
BY DOW JR.


following:
Whar de hen scratch, dar she spec TO
find de bug"
NY Hearers I am informed that dark
complexioned preacher, in Columbus, Ohio,
once took the above for his text, and proved
from it that our First Parents fell out of an
apple tree into mudhole, which caused their
frstborn to be as black as your hat. am
afraid that my colored co-laborer has made
much more out of it than I can, for, turn it
over, set it upon end, lay it down and sprawl
it open-after all, this old rooster don't find
great deal to pick at.
In the first place, my brethren, [ will pro-
pound apious conundrum. Why aremen like
watches Because they must look inside of
them for their good qualities, and judge Of
them by their works"
Well my brethren, the work of men and
women in general consists, for the most part,
in scratching, and, the prospect Of a bug is
the incentive. You may notice, brethren
that whenever a hen makes scratch, she
always give pick but whether she gets a
bug at every dip, is very uncertain. imag-
inc not Nevertheless, where she scratches
there she expects to find bug
Expecting is one thing, you know, my
friends, and finding another. You may turn
over many stone in this precarious world,
and 6nd no bug, after all. Phrenologically
speaking, the human head is one vast bump
Of expectation, and nothing else.
There are various sorts of bugs, brethren,
in this buggy sphere. There are big bugs,
little bugs, straddle-bugs, humbugs and bug
bears. But you needn't scratch about much
to find any of these, for they are everywhere
thicker than shippers in seven year old
cheese.
To find the bug you so earnestly desire,
requires diligent scratching; and if so doing
you don't happen to catch it, you can COM
fort yourself with the reflection that you put
in the licks for It, and it ought to have been
yours. If a young man takes girl about to
see the shows, feeds her with tit-bits, and
buys her pretty calicoes, his title to kiss is
clear and indisputable-for "where the hen
scratches there she expects to find bug"
The bug that you are all after, my brethren,
is the gold bug; but, alack-a-day, how many
of you scratch in vain; yet it is found in man
ure heaps, as we'll as in auriferous places
The farmer turns it up with his plow, and
the gardener with his spade; and yet thou
sands keep scratching here and there with
out finding 'ary bug.
A few years ago hundreds of you fell to
scratching at Kern river, expecting to find a
mighty big bug. Well, you scratched, and
scratched and what did you turn up at last !?
a monstrous humbug? Got frightened and
scrabbled for home, q vast sight more buggy
than you went-for "where the hen scratch
es, there she expects to find bug.
And now you all want to 60 to the Frazer
River country but there are so many differ
ent ways to get there, you are in quandary
which to choose. 1t is like getting to Hea-
ven. The Catholics insist upon going straight
through gatory-the Baptists go round
about way, but keep where there is plenty of
water, as they belong to the class known as
amphib@-the Presbyterians think their
road the safest although rather hot-the Uni
versalists declare theirs to be most pleasant
while the Methodists shout "Halleluyah," "
and scare up rabbits, as they journey upon
the good old Jordan route. But when you
are once there Cat the diggings mean-for I
am not sure that you will ever reach the
other place. one stands about asgooda chance
as another-and I don't know but little
better. You all have about an equal amount
of hope, if not pluck, and each will probably
pitch in and dig with all the energy Of a ter
rier at gopher-hole-for " where the hen
scratches, there she expects to find bug"
Let me make another application of my
text, my brethren. Beware ofan oily tongued,
sycophantic friend-who is ever too ready to
do you small favor,-who processes a will
ingness to serve you at all times-who praises
YOU as the fox did the crow; for, while he is
thus "quizzling" himself into your good
graces, he has sly eye upon your purse
yourself forgetting for the moment, that
g where the hen scratches, there sheexpects
to find bug"
My friends how uneasy is the immortal
mind in its pent up prison of clay! How it
seems to exult in its freedom while winging its
way to yon azure fields flight and glory, or
wandering amid the green old bowers of the
past, where none but itself is permitted to
roam What, then, must belts delight when
forever released from its thraldom ofAesh, and
no longer dependentupon bread, beef, aDdpo-
tatoes! The day will come, when liberty, such
as mortals have never yet known, will be
blissfully realized in an eternal sphere,
observation-disclosures the hen scratches,
there she expects to find bug" So mote it