The weekly Portage sentinel. [volume] (Ravenna, Ohio) 1854-1861, 1858-07-22
WHOLE NUMBER, $50
Kiver mp, Stranger. uII the Gals
At Undress."

There is a spot in the southwestern part
Of this State, known as the "Fiery Fork Of
Honey Runs delicious locality, no doubt,
as'the run of "honcy" is accompanied By
corresponding flow Of''miIk" and mixture
of milk and honey, or, at any rate. honey
and "peach'' is the evidence Of sublunsry
con'entment every place they have preach
ing
''Honey Run" is further Christianized by
the presence of an extremely hosPitable
family. whose mansion, comprising One
1partment--neither more nor less--is re-
nOwned for never being shut against the
traveller, and SO our friend found it during
the chill morning air, at the expense Of
rheumatism in his sifoulder-its numerous
unaffected cracks and spaces clearly show
ing that dropping the latch was useless
formality. The venerable host and hostess,
in their own apartment, usually enjoy the
society Of two sons, four daughters, sundry
dogs and "Diggers" and as many lodgers as
deem It prudent to risk the somewhat equivo-
cal allotment of sleeping partners. On the
night in question, our friend, after hearty
supper of ham and eggs, and canvass of
the Fiery Forkers-the old lady having
pointed out his bed--felt very weary, and
only looked for an opportunity 10 "turn in,''
though the mosquitoes were trumpeting all
sorts of wrath, and no net appeared to bar
them. The dogs flung themselves along
the floor, or again rose restlessly, and sought
the door step; the "niggers" stuck their feet
into the yet warm ashes; the old man strip
ped, unscrupulously, and sought his share
Of the one collapsed looking pillow, the sons
cavalierly followed bis example, leaving the
old woman, "gals" and "stranger," 10 settle
any question OF delcacy that might arise.
The candidate yawned, looked at his bed,
went to the door, looked at the daughters;
finally, in downright recklessness, seated
himself upon "the downey," and pulled of
his coat. Well. be pulled off his ceat, and
he folded his arms, and then he yawned, and
then he whistled, and then he called the, old
lady's attention to the fact that 1t would
never do for him to sleep in his muddy tr6us
sers; and then he undid his vest, and then he
whistled again, and then, suddenly, an idea
of her lodger's possible embarrassment
seemed to fash on the old woman, and
she cried;
"Gals, jest turn your backs round till the
stranger gifts into bed"
The backs were turned and the stranger
did get into bed in "less than no time,"
when the hostess again spoke:
"Recon, stranger, as you ain't used to us
you'd better kiver up till the gals undress,
hadn't you I" s
By this time our friends sleepy ft was
over, and though he did "kiver up" as de.
sired, some how or other the old counterpane
was equally kind in hiding his bushes. and
favoring his sly glances. The nymphs soon
slowed away, for there were neither bustles
to un hitch nor corsets to unlace, when their
mamma, evidently anxious not to smother
her guest, considerably relieved him. "You
can unkiver now, stranger; I'm married
folks, and you sin't afeared Of me, rec
on :"
The stranger happened to be "married
folks" himself; he "unkivered" and turned
his back with true connubial indifference, as
far as the ancient lady was concerned; but
with regard to the "gals" he declared that
his half raised curiosity inspired the most
tormenting dreams Of mermaids that ever he
experienced.