The Perrysburg journal. [volume] (Perrysburg, Ohio) 1853-1861, 1858-01-21
How Tom COrwin rid his sister ol
an Obnoxious Lover.
BY A WESTERN MAN

BY A WESrERN MA"
Every one has heard of the eloquent pathetic
aud humorous stump orator oil OHIO. lie was
pronounced by Mr.. Clay "a most competent au-
thorty) to be teh finest stump speaker he had ever
heard and in this opinion most heartily coincide,
after having heard Clay Crittendeu, Jones Of
Tennessee Polk, Benjamin. Soule, Randall, Hunt,
Tom Marshall, Gen. Lamar Bates, Douglas and
host of Others.
Well, this great orator carried his love Of fun
into every department Of life. In the private CIR
Gle where he knew every person aud where ne uh-
bosomed himself fully, he was the most delightful
and genial conversationalist ever listened to. l
do not know that he now, as age and nhrmity are
creeping Oh, INDUCES his procvity to humor SO
much as he used to do. But some twenty. years
ago he used TO tell with great gusto the following
story
"Ih early life-so early that cannot remember
the removal-my father pulled up stakes, anu
earring with him the household goods, went from
Bourbon county, Kentucky where was born to
Ohio. Notwithstanding rough and tumble strug
gle with the world, he had hard time to get on
owing to numerous and rapidly increasing lam.
lily, Well, family matters had not much improved
when had reached my thirteenth or fourteenth
year,
i" At this time there lived IN the neighhorhood
young man by the name nj Pickering lie hau
inherited wellstocked farm, was good looking
aud made strong profession Of religion. This lat
ter qualification caused him to find peculiar favor
in the eyes of my father, who always was bhndec
by professions of extra piety.
'' This fellow had strong hankering after one
of my sisters who was a very pretty girl. 10 hei
Z. he was peculiarly distasteful. She seemed always
excessively annoyed at his presence. Yet he was
ever at her side She dared not dismiss HIM en-
tirely for fear of qternal anger. Things went OF
in this way for year or two, and as partoob
largely of my sisters hatred to him, resolved tc
get rid of him in some way. | cast about tor 0
plan for some time, but nothing occurred WHICH
gave me the slightest hope of being successful
AT last returning home late one summer hgn'
from the mill, found the family at their night!
devotons Passing by the window OF the room
in which they were assembled saw that rleker
lug was there and pretty soon discovered that hs
was nodding, and finally his head dropped. No"
was my opportunity. | stole silly into the hall
aud reaching the hall door which was slightly ajar
and close by which Pickering WIS., on bendet
Knee reached in and Quickly pulling his cha
from under him, he rolled heavily, as soune
sleeper would upon the floor. The noise alarmed
all. The old gentleman stopped in the midst o
his almost ntcrminable prayer, and saw the posi-
tion of Pickering. All the family laughed oa
right even my mother smiled.
:. Pickering endeavored to pick himself up a
rapidly as possible, but be had touched the OLE
man upon his tenderest point. 1t was evident
from his rubbing his eyes. that he had slept undo
the old gentleman's minstratons aud had no
my father reputation far and wide for the ferven
tcy and strength of his muistrations, and was no
Pickering his protesting brother II was too
much. Slowly yet most dignifo dy did the ole
man approach him. Begone hypocrite hi
cried, in thunder tones Never enter my hous
again
=" Pickering was thunderstruck. He felt tina
he could make no apology which would not ad(
to the insult. He had no suspicion OF tho exter
ior force which had aided him in his fall. He a
once found his hat, took up his line OF maroh,and
completely crestfallen, passed by me as stoot
grinning in the shadow Of the porch.
AT suitable time entered, got my supper
was told by brother in hurried whispers, wha
had happened, and then stole off to bed, affect
ing ignorance and laughing most heartily, as | en-
sconced myself in the sheets at the complete sue
cess of my plan.
Next day cautiously impaired my secret t.
my interested sister. She was in her own room
at the time, and she threw herself upon the be-
and rolled in sgones and convusions OF laughter
She had been emancipated forever from the at
tentions of an obnoxious lover. The old gentle
man did not hear the real state of the facts 70
full twenty years afterwards; but when he did, h
laughed heartily" Gag.