Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1858-12-15
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EyCRUTIaT[NG.
J. T. 3.

SCENE LIN front of FaSh70nd0Le iioiet.-
Gentleman diSmoun.ing from has horse.
"Stabler, attend refrigerate my beast by al
lowing him twice to circuwambuate yonder
fountain; that accomplished, TO imbbe mode
rate quantity Of aqueous particles; conduct
him with care to the repository for wearied
beasts and having clothed in luStre his dirty
skin Ly gentle application of the vegetable
material, commonly called straw, suffer him to
partakc Of food which shall furnish nourisll-
lncrt and gentle rcpose"
S'aJ!er-(taugLing.) "NV-h-a.t, sir"
Gcmlemqu-" What, sir! Stand yon thus
like one with no reason in lis soul, willie this
poor beast, whose every poe is lount of e,sll-
ing strength, grows valetndirary meath SOILS
oppressive rays. Ic volatile barbarian"
&ablcr- laughing still more unrcstrainedly.)
81 can't understand Il word you say, sir but
suppose you want your horse put up"
Genticman-" Stupidity unelualled! Land
lord, illuminate your cenSurcs against this tartly
burl, who thus maniiests opplsnation to my de-
sres, and conduct me 10 accludcd apartments,
and bring restoratives of the most vvifc charac-
ter, 10 renstatc to their former the varied cncr-
gies Of my exhausted frame"
LrndloIu-"I will, SIR"
Gsntkmaa-" Preposterous And you, sir,
|
ion! should surmise myself the first OF the
species you ever beheld."
LandLrd-( (Iaughing still more.) "Iudecd
you are, sir"
Gcnilcman-a Terminate this prolix scene and
oficiate as guard to my apartments. At the
hour of dinner, summon me; if wcarisolneneSs
should have caused me to be rccumbent in pos
ture, gently re-animate me with the breath OF
| fan.'
SCENE 2-7Ae Dining Room, Gentleman SEAT
ing hjmsey at The table, dinner ora', and others
stdnding IN the room.
Genilcman-"I should judge yoracity and is-
norance prevailing characteristics Of the man.
see nothing among these rocking ruins worthy
the regard of gentleman's palate. Waiter, |
desire female fowl, sufficiently, but not re-
dundantly made edible by fire."
1t is brought.
"Waitcr, dissect with care the samc do not
violently separate the part, least my joints
should suffer dislocation from the dscordant
sounds"
1t is done
"Waitcr, place o tender portion Of the breast
upon my plate, with necessary accompanments.
1t is done, and the gentleman commences hls
dinner.
A wag, who with others Lad observed these
proceedings, seats himself at the table opposite
our hero.
Wag-"vaitcr, furnish me with female
fowl"
The waiter understands the joke, and does as
he is bid.
"Vaiter, disscver now her component parts"
1t is done.
"Vaiter, divide those parts into portions,
suited to lubial capacity"
Opening his mouth and throwing himself
back on the chair.
ayaiter, place one of them in the oridco be-
fore ycu."
Our hero begins to understand the quiz, and
is evidently much Disconnected.
"Vater, ray my jalcs!"
Amid roars of laughter, and curses upon his
lips, our hero rushed from the room.
A Coop ONE-Billy F. was making 0
journey in stage coach, Cnsisting upon sitting
outside with the driver) over the billy roads r
the western part Of the State, and amused him
self on the way by frequent resorts to the com:
forts OF mysterious black bottle which he had
with him. Suddenly the coach came in contact
with large stone, which, without doing my
other damage deprived Billy of his equilibrium
and down he rolled On the ground. "Wot'r
thunder are yer doing? 2" said Billy, "how come
YOU to tip the stage over?" The driver informed
him that the stage had not been overturned a'