The emigrant aid journal of Minnesota. [volume] (Nininger City, Minn. Terr. [i.e. Minn.]) 1856-1858, 1858-01-13
Nlninger vs.. Hast ings.

need scarcely enforce upon our people the Importance OF
.his matter. d "
Nininger vs.. Hastings J
We suggested in cur last that 4 good tight might serve
70 enliven 4 tedious winter, and it seems the Hastings
Independent is Of the same mind. We must beg, how
ever, that the fight, if fight there is to be, will be a
clean and au intellectual one. Ii We arc to take to st'g-
~natizius each other with words that are forbidden by the
rules of polite society, and that make their appearance
N print only in the shape of initial letters and dasher,
We must decline the contest. We haze wildly before
us the rcuplet of Hudibfas - "
.Ouoth he, that man is sure i lose, ss-.
That soils his hands with dirty foes. ..ats
we have no disposition to find ourselves at the end Of
the contest III the condition Of the chevaler that enter
ed into a r~ough-and tumble fight with the sweep,-al-
though he came of victor he was 30 begrinled with filth
that his best friends did not know him. Decency, de-
osncy, Mr. Independent; Assume the virtue though
YOU have it not and avoid all words that cannot b"
printed. @ !
Lee rs premise a little, First \ large portion of
the people of Hastings we respect highly and would de-
sire Away to retain sheiF good opinion. We have found
among them some OF the very first Of western people,
liberal ,en'e, prising, Intelligent and high minded. Some
few Of them we count among cur best friends. Even
the Editor OF the lNNFDfHIEr( pS!UIC Hc uHNCAGC ~
quote his profane bull against us we looked upon as one
Of the best men in the county. This contest has not
been begun by us. We have uniformly treated Hast
;ngs witt courtesy ne have profered the hand OF
friendship to her We have toasted her at our public
1iinpers; we have poared the JUNCTION OF hattery over
her, and her name has been received with rapture OF ap.
plause by our people. We sought to make q pair Of
Siamese twins of the two towns, with the Hastings
branch of the Niuingcr and St, Peter Railroad as the
vital ligature between them. But alas! the Dakota
Serenader> and the Hastings Independent with rude
hand have severed the cord OF life, and all our visions
of a new Chicago must be indefinitely postponed to the
serious detriment of Elder Cressy's farm.
In the next place When we challenged to combat
s;he whole host OF Hastings, .4-s
Gas. the gauntlet down at once,
To northern Wit and southern Ounce,
We expected, as We before said, that the contest would
be conducted in accordance with the regulations OF civil
lied warfare, and unless it is SO conducted we cease at
once. A discussion such as is already commenced III
the Nininger journal may serve to draw out the merits
and advantages Of both places before the public eye !;
one sucl, as IS begun by the Independent would only
5 rye to Illustrate billingsgase and furnish a new argu-
ment for the establishment Of Sund' schools. :.
sImmodest words admit of no defence, 5"
or want of aecency is want of sense =, 80
Casting a critical eye over the article Of the Mdrpe"d.
su. we find little to take hold of. He compliments Us
on our rapid growth and comnlends our energy. May
hts SHdGpA ActCI We iIeS IN 49," eA"
Serenaders have disturbed our eauanimity, but hopes
that it may serve the same purifying purpose that the
winds do to the ocean, keep us from sinking Inns
highly classical allusion We receive in good part, and con-
gratalat ourselves that it was not accompanied by a fe"
half printed explosives. We must add, however, that
IS the Serenaders were 10 doubt instituted to afford the
same humane relief to Hastings. and as they have been
performing their deodorisiog functions in their midst
without avail for some time past, We may DC pardoned
if we hesitate to take the recipe. We are much OF the
same mind with the youth who finding inscribed on a
tomb stone the couplet - q. -.~S .e.ss s@- a a
ooh, christian friend, when this You see.
= Prepare for'd death andtcl6w me- + T r.eX
Wrote under it -
TIC follow you, we're not content,
Unless we know which way you went
In the same spirit We must decline adopting the Dakota
Serenaders as a nev alenen: in unr Pharmacopi@, until
we see it work a cure whero first established In the
mean time we would recommend the liberal use Of
chloride of lime in the streets of Hastings on wet days,
and we know not il it would BE- amiss to sprinkle j lit
tie over the Serenaders themselves "
The choicest part of the whole production is cOutaln-
ed in the following lines - "s eeh9 Z.
1--WE do not claim to be your rivals. We hold that
our city occupies a position which will not for a moment
tolerate the idea Of entering on the lists with a village
whose population at most does not exceed seven hun
dred. We shall ever commend the enterprise that thug
~actesizes the people OF Nininger, but the idea OF her
ever becoming our IlVai Is zoo mHcH axe DIooAtyH VIZ.
ing with New York, to call forth a serious remark $50
Well done our metropolitan friend. The Hastings
lndepe~dtnt occupies the position Of the New York 1ky,
ala we have not a doubt in this modern Manhattan's
Island. Hastings aud New York le Coda: 100000
versus 2 900. The Battery represented BY that lonely
levee, where a melancholy poet might undistutbed write
odes to solitude. The Cuaard and Collins lines represent
ed by that forlorn looking Aat-boat that thrice . day per-
forms its dangerous voyage TO the island o%pposltos The
metropolitan and Wood police represented by those few
ii paid watchmen that on dark nights frequent deserted
streets or resembling groggeries. And last and best
Burton's inimitable humor, Nibio's enchanting harmo.
MES, Barnum's collected wonders, and thr'stie's untlr'
ing wit, all finding their exponent. IN that small, dirty
rehearsal Of stale jokes. d~iscoTdant tunes and lamentable
coutortions, yclept tie Dakota Serenaders. 71s
The presumption ufa town Numbering seven hundred
in abitauts entering into competition With q town num-.
berins two thousand. Think Of 1t J. In MinnesG9ta ltoe
where towns date their ancestry FROM the, hood, and
where they grow at the rate Of one per cent per year
Mark the position ct things. In September 1906,
just sixteen snonths ago, the town OF Nin'nger number
ed about a dozen people, now it auiabcrs. about seven
hundred and because it has met with such . sudden
rise, carried away by its own success, it presulnes 10 en-.
ter into the lists with a town which bad two thousand
pecple in it when Nininger started, and has ever since
with solid consistency stuck to the same lumber ~ 4e1
We would ask the Hastings iaa,penaenf which will
win the race. the race-hosse or the milestone !! we
would also PROFOUND for its solution tins prebiea' Is
= town that advances with rapidly to be deemed the
r;va, o, q neishhoring town that stands still with rapid
,sy Also this Nothing multiplied by Itself for one
year EQUALS seyen hundred. How long will it take seven
hundred multiplied by itself to equal two Thousand h
When the Hastings Independent has solved snese
questions We may have a few words more to say. IN
the mean time We will rumiuate QYaE his 'Stg3TtAzea- =