The day book. [volume] (Norfolk, Va.) 1857-1867, 1858-02-15

Win WHICH Jones Wotlnd up nerce AT
tack:
"And still they gazed, and still the wonder
That one small head could carry all he
knew"
Robinson hardly allowed him to get
into bis seat before he pointed to the big
head of his rival, aud exclaimed;
"And still they gazed, and then began to
hint,
So large head, and ye, so little in'tr
A dentist recently wrote to Rev. j. II.
Smith, of Buffalo, as follows;
i am a Baptist dentist, and not finding
such employment as | could wish in this
village, | will ask what are the chances Of
my profession in your growing and be:.u-
titul city?
The clergyman acknowledging the re-
ceipt of the letter, replied:
Permit me to add, that ! have care
fully looked over the outline of the Bap-
fist faith, and have been unable to dis
cover tooth pulling referred to therein
so Father Taylor dined with you to-
uaS aSkSu DOS al CON.
Father Taylor? Not at ALL What
made you think so p
Why, l heard you at the butchers
this morning tell him you wanted good
parsnip.'
What of that p
We'll, isn'ta pa snipa father talor.'
Charley. what makes your cheeks so
red?' asked his sisters admirer, of a lit
tie urchin five years old.
"Cause put some Of sisters paint on.
She puts it on every day
1t was an embarrassing disclosure all
round. At least, Charley thought so af-
ter the visitor was gone.
A New York punster challenged
sick mans vote at the recent election, on
the ground that he was an III legal voter
Probably it was the same person. who
challenged squint eyed voter, because
he was not natural eyes-ed.
An Englishman full as nut of the En-
glish phlegm, was travelling on certain
railroad, when sudden halt and loud
report informed the passengers that some
accident had happened. Every one rush
ing out, of course. to see what was the
matter, except Mr.. Phlegna, who sat tran
gully, as if not at all interested in any
thing beyond the halo of his own
thoughts. Presently person came up
and informed him that the engine had
burst its boiler.
Aver
Then came another saying that there
were fifteen persons killed.
AVE.
But finally the third messenger rushed
up in great haste and said:
My dear sir, your valet has been blown
into hundred pieces
Awe! Just bring me The piece that
contains the key Of my porf0'anteauP
'Pompey, did you take that note to Mr.
Jones?
'Es, Massa.'
did you see him p
'Es, sar, me did,
How did he look p
why, msssa, he looked poorly well,
'sidering he's so blind
Blind what do you mean by that?'
why, massa, when / was in de room
gibben de paper, he axed me whar my
hat WAS, and perhaps you won't believe
me, but massa, he war on de top of my
he'd de hull time
Lord Tentedcn had contracted so invet-
crate habit Of keeping himself and
everybody else to the precise matter in
hand, that once, during circuit dinner,
having asked a county magistrate if he
would take venison, and receiving what
he deemed an evasive reply
Thank you, my lord, l am going to
take boiled chicken
His lordship Immediately replied:
That, sir, is no answer to my quas-
ton; / ask you again if you take veni-
son, and l will trouble you to say yes or
no, without further prevarication.'
DocToR, HE HAS DONE IT.-A physi-
clan tells the following story, not, how
ever, without some regret on his part for
the advice given:
A Woodworking woman had drunken
husband, who, when partially sober,
would get the blues and endeavor to
destroy himself by taking laudanum.
Twice did the wife ascertain that he had
swallowed the poisonous drug, and twice
did the doctor restore him. Upon the
second restoration the doctor addressed
him as follows:
you goed-fer-nothing scoundrel, you
don't want to kill yourself, you merely
want to annoy your wife and me-. If you
want to kill yourself, why don't you cut
your throat and put an end to the mat
teri
Well, away went the doctor, and
thought no more of his patient, until
some weeks after he was awakened from
a sound nap by the tinkling of his night