Meigs County telegraph. [volume] (Pomeroy [Ohio]) 1848-1859, 1858-03-23
How Tom COrwin rid his Sister
of an Obnoxious Lover.

How Tom COrwin rid his Sister
OF nn Obnoxious LOVer,
Every one has heard Of the eloquent,
pathetic and humorous stump orator .of
Ohio. dewas pronounced by Mr. Clay (aI
most competent authority tobe the finest
stump speaker he had ever heard; and in
this opinion I must heartily coincide,
after having heard Clay, Crittenden, Jones
of Tennessee, Polk, Benjamin, Soule, Ram
dali, Hunt, Tom Marshall, Gen, Lamar,
Bates, Douglas and q host Of others, r,,
Well, this great orator carried his love
of fun into every department Of life. In
the private circle, where he knew every
person and unbosomed himself fully, he
was the most delightful and general CON
versationalist 1 ever listened to. l do
not know that he now, as age and mfr
nifty are creeping on INDUCES his pro,
clivity to humor SO much as he used to
do. But some twenty years ago he used
to tell with great gusto, the following
story: Lt0 N r.G .fI AitV "
In early life-so early thai / cannot re-
member the removal--my father ''pulled
up stakes" and carrying with him the
household goods, went from Bourbon
county, Kentucky, where was born, to
Ohio. Notwithstanding rough and
tumble struggle with the world, he had
hard time to get on, owing toa numerous
family. Well, family matters had not
much improved when l had reached my
thirteenth or fourteenth year. ...t
AT this time there lived in the neigh
borhood a young man named Pickering.
He had inherited a well stocked farm,
was good looking, and made strong pro-
fessions of religion. The latter qualitca-
tion caused him to find peculiar favor in
the eyes of my father, who always was
by professions Of extra piety. "a
This fellow had strong hankering af-
tel oneof my sisters, who was very pretty
girl. To her he was peculiarly distaste-
full. She seemed always excessively an
noyed at his presence. Yet he was ever
at her side. She dared not dismiss him
entirely, for fear Of the paternal anger.-
Things went on in this way for year or
two, and as partook largely OF my sisters
hatred of him, resolved to get rid of him
in some way. cast about for plan for
some time, but nothing occurred that
give me the slightest hope ofsuccess.
At last, returning home late one sum-
mer night from the mill, found the FAM
lily at their nightly devotions. Passing
by the window of the room in which they
were assembled, saw that Pickering
was there, and pretty soon, discovered
that he was nodding, and finally his head
dropped. Now was my opportunity.
stole silly into the hall, and reaching the
hall door, which was slightly ajar, and
close by which Pickering was, con bend
ing knee" reached in and quickly pull.
ing his chair from under him, he rolled
heavily as sound sleeper would upon
the floor. The noises alarmed all. The
old gentleman stopped in the midst o.
his almost interminable prayer, and saw
the position of Pickering. All the family
. laughed outright; even my mother smiled
, Pickering endeavored to pick himself W
as rapidly as possible, but he had touched
the old man upon the tenderest point. |
was evident, from his rubbing his eyes,
that he had slept under the old gentle
mans ministrations; and had not m,
father reputation far aud wide for the
fervency and strength of his ministrations
and was not Pickering his processing
brother! 1t was too much. Slowly, ye
dignifedly did the old man approach
, him. "Begone, hypocrlte?' he cried ii
, thunder tones, "neyer enter my hous
=, again
5 pickering was thunderstruck. II
felt that he could make no apology whicl
+ would not add to the insult. He had n
Il suspicion of the exterior force which ha
. aided him in his fall. He at once foun
his bat, took up his line of march, ant
com pletely crest-fallen, passed by me n
l stood grinning in the shadow of tn
porch. ftE 5~ Fl
;, At a suitable time I entred, got M
!; supper, was told by brother, in hurrie
It whispers, what had hppened, and then
: stole off to bed, affecting ignorance an
laughing most heartily, as l ensconce
= m self in the sheets, at the complete sue
n cess of my plan.
A Next day I cautiously impaired my Sc
:, cret to my interested sister She was i
her own room at tho time, and she thre'
herself upon the bed and rolled in agonie
70 70 and commissions of laughter. She ha
~ " been emancipated for ever from the after
, ,e tions of an obnoxious lover The ol
- gentleman did not hear the real state {
y the facts for full twenty years afterward
% % but when he did, he laughed heartily"
Et-9sTba Ely,;o uDorooorot,J raIoto IL