Raftsman's journal. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1854-1948, 1858-03-24


supported by practice!
As approached the house, dinner bell a.
larmed my fears lest had spoiled the dinner
by want of punctuality. Impressed with this
idea, blushed the deepest crimson as my
name was repeatedly announced by the several
livery servants who ushered me into the IL
brary, hardly knowing what or whom 1 saw.
At my first entrance 1 summoned all my for
titude and made my newly learned bow to La
dy Friendly; but unfortunately, in bringing
back my left foot to the third position, trod
upon the gouty toe of poor Sir Thomas, who
had followed close at my heels, to be the no.
menclator of the family. The confusion this
occasoned in me, is hardly to be conceived,
since none but bashful men can judge of my
distress, and of that description the number 1
believe is very small. The baronet's polite
ness by degrees dissipated my concern, and l
was astonished to see how far good breeding
could enable him to suppress his feelings, and
to appear with perfect case, after so painful an
accident.
The cheerfulness of his lordship, and the ia
miliar chat of the young ladies, insensibly led
me to throw off my reserve and sheepishness,
till at length ventured to join in converse
tion and even to start fresh subjects. The IL
brary being richly furnished with books in ell
egant bindings, 1 conceived Sir Thomas to be
a man of literature, and ventured to give my
opinion concerning the several editions of the
Greek classics, in which the baronet's opinion
exactly coincided with my own. To this sub
ject was led by observing an edition of Xen-
ophon in sixteen volumes, which, as had nev-
before heard of such a thing, greatly excl
ted my curiosity, and 1 rose up to examine
what it could be. Sir Thomas saw what was
about, and, as supposed, willing to save me
trouble, rose to take down the book, which
made me the more eager to prevent him and,
hastily laying my hand the first volume, 1
pulled it forcibly but, 10! instead of books,
board, which by leather and gliding had been
made to look like sixteen volumes, came tumb-
ling down, and unluckily pitched upon a
wedgewood inkstand on the table under it.
In vain did Sir Thomas assure me there was
no harm. l saw the ink streaming from an in
laid table on the Turkey carpet, and, scarcely
knowing what did, attempted to stop its pro-
gress with my cambria handkerchief. In the
height of my confusion, we were informed
that dinner was served up, and 1 with joy
perceived that the bell which at first had SO
alarmed my fears, was only the half-hour bell.
In walking through the hall and suite of a
partments to the dining room, had time to
collect my scattered senses, and was desired
to take my seat betwixt Lady Friendly and her
eldest daughter at the table. Since the fall of
A. L..
tinually burning like firebrand, and was
just beginning to recover myself, and feel
comfortably cool, when an unlooked-for ac-
cident, rekindled all my heat and bushes.
Having upset my plate in bowling to Miss
Dinah, who politely complimented the pattern
of my waist-coat, L tumbed the whole scald-
ing contents into my lap. In spite of an i'm
mediate supply of napkins to wipe the surface
of my clothes, my black silk breeches. were
not stout enough to save me from the painful
effects of this sudden fomehtation. and for
some minutes my legs and thighs seemed stew
ing in a boiling cauldron; but, Iecollecting
how Sir Thomas had disguised his torture
when 1 trod upon his toe, firmly bore my
pain in silence. and sat with my lower extrem
tiles parboiled, amidst the stifed giggling of
the ladies and the servants.
1 will not relate the several blunders which
1 made during the first course, or the distress
occasioned by my being desired to carve
fowl or help to various dishes that stood near
me, spilling sauce boat and knocking down
a salt cellar; rather let me hasten to the sec
ond course, where fresh disasters overwhelmed
me quite.
had a nice piece of rich pudding on my
fork when Miss Louisa Friendly begged to
trouble me for pigeon that stood inear me ;
in my haste, scarcely knowing what did, l
whipped the pudding into my mouth, ,.hot as
burning coal. 1t was impossible to conceal
my agony. My eyes were starting from their
sockets. AT last, in spite of shame and con-
fusion, 1 was obliged to drop the cause of my
torment on my plate. Sir Thomas and the
ladies all compassioned my misfortune, and
each advised a different application. One re-
commended oil-another water; but all agreed
that wine was best tor drawing out the fire,
and glass of cherry was brought me from the
sideboard, which snatched up with eagerness;
but, o, how shall 1 tell the sequell
Whether the butler by accident mistook, or
purpcsely designed to drive me mad, he gave
me the strongest brandy, with which filed
my mouth, already fayed and blistered. To-
tally unused to every kind of ardent spirits,
with my tongue, throat and palate as raw as
beef, what could-I do?
1 could not swallow, and, clappi1g my hands
upon my mouth, the cursed liquor squirted
through my nose and fingers like fountain,