The Council Bluffs nonpareil. [volume] (Council Bluffs [Iowa]) 1857-1867, 1858-07-17


And you know the blessed Bible
Plainly says we mustn't kiAi
So I've thought the matter over,
And rather think Will
THE JoURNEYMAN GENTLEMAN.
Joe Conway was an oddity.
He especially delighted in mwteries, dis
pui,es. unexpected denouemenu, intrigues,
and romance generally.
Consequently, he was always getting into
very bad scraps, and-superauus assertion
there was always ga lady in tie case."
This made him bit of mis,samist-an
amateur woman-hater
Yet, for all that, he could no let the sex
alone!
A profound love of nature ami dissipation
attracted Joe and myself to theittle village
of D., on the banks of thst charming
stream, tho Erehwon. We we,t to fish, to
sketch, to see the scenery, and to drink, for
as Joe remarked, "the waters q the Ereh-
won possesses peculiarly refreshing qualities
when mixed with little cognac."
The afternoon of the seoont day of our
sojourn found US seated upon a iower-span-
gled slope, skirted by willows, whose gnarled
roots were bathed in the pelucd Erehwon.
We had sought the spot, to smole, converse,
and digest our somewhat elaboate dinner,
in peace and quiet, with the bauty of na-
ture before our eyes.
As is very apt to be tho cas-, when two
young men get together, our :alk was Of
woman.
Woman! what an inexhaustsble subject
for speculation, conversation, writing, ora
tory, painting, sculpture and m,trimony!
otis all gammon," said Joe Conway, 'wo-
men don't appreciate cultivation, intellect,
nor good fellowship. All they look for is
wealth and position, when they love. II
they don't find those amiable qualities, they
won't love, and if a fellow hasn't got them,
he had better let the sex alone. 1t takes a
gilded key to unlock their precious little
hearts. That's SOP
'You are sadly mistaken, Joe, said l, sand
the worst of it is that you dontk know it,
You are angry with the husbsnd-hunters
who have given you chase, and revenge your.
self by damning the whole institution ol
dimity. You are wrong. A man like you
young, rich, and-well, yes, without fiat.
tering, think l may say tolerably good.
looking, has no chance. You see only the
designing ones, who are bound to marry
your bank account in spite OF yourself
and they play off their charms upon you, az
nausednl.'
But where are the urtIus, unU-, xno oon'
want money-who arc willing to sacrifice
and all that, for the sake of tht
tender passion
sThey are modest. The brazen- faced for
crowd about you, and accuston
you to being sought. The really good girl
require seeking, and as that isn't in you
line, you never know how NANNY nice womer
there are in the world'
sI'll tell you what III do!' cried Joe-start
ing up suddenly, and half choking himself
with mouthful of cigar smoke-'Fll test
that question. I'll do it here in this very
place. Pll turn mechanic, ignore my
money and my family, make up to the pref
tiest, proudest girl in the village, and show
you she won't marry me poor. Then III
come out in my truo colors, and show you
that my cash is puissant to do that which my
conversation and requirements cannot begir
to do!'
'What; marry her?
'Not much-make her ask mo to and laugh
at her,
l confess l secretly hoped that Joe would
not test the qustion. He was capital fel-
low, as rich in accomplishments and cultiva.
ton, as in money. Now knew very well
that D. contained some very charming
girls-daug ghters of retired sea- captains,
merchants, etc., who, however much they
might like mechanic, would see himhanged
before they would marry him. Au coatrdire,
young gentleman of wealth and position,
would probably prove very acceptable.
But he was determined, and when re-
turned to the city, l left Joe arranging a
chest of tools, and getting himself up in a
pair of blue over-alls and a paper cap!
Joe had wonderful talent for dong ev-
cry thing tolerably well. He played
upon half dozen instruments, could survey.
had dabbled in the fine arts, understood
shorthand, a little surgery and medicine,
was finished jockey, a fair gardener, had
built stone bridge, written an epic, and
half-soled pair of boots!
With these somewhat varied accomplish
ments. he had no fear of course, but what
he could get on very we'll as carpenter. No
one knew him at D., and when he intro
dnced himself to the BOSS carpenter of the
village, he succeeded in persuading him that
he was journeyman of unusual talent.
He received several commissions, during
the first fortnight of his experimentbut on
the whole, it was rather lucky thathe was
not compelled to subsist on the proceeds of
his labors. Otherwise, he might have found
it difficult topay his board-especally as he
commissioned me to send him some five dol
lars worth of cigars every week.
One day, after he had nearly exhausted
his patience, and had done no ead of plot
ting and planning in vain, the village car
penter asked him to undertake tie restora-
ton of a cornice on one of the Oldest and
most aristocratic houses in D..
Joe agreed, and in a short time was
upon scaffold, almos, on level
with the third story windows of the mansion
Of old Commodore Huntington, dexterously
making his measurements and plans for the
new cornice.
1t was not an easy task, for the work was
elaborate and the weather warm. Two days
'lapsed, and Joe had only got ready to COM
nence putting up the brackets which sus-
aimed the heavy mouldings. Lunch-time
,ame, and the amateur carpenter, getting in
he shade, unpacked his little tin dinner
'ail, and began repast at once simple and
when he saw that tie window
,earest him was open, and that papers lying
N an escritoire inside, were disposed to
blow away.
q know it is . trespass," meiitated he,
but it is for the propristor's gooa-I'll step
nto the room, and save, perhaps, some val
liable documents
A little gymnastic exercise brought him
lown from his scaffold, through tue window,
md INTO very elegant chamber.
sHum,' said he, "a woman's ROOM,
There We're paintings, statuettes, ormolu
rnaments, and forty other luxurant moth
ngs, such as women of taste love to gather
round them. A guitar reposed upon the
ed, with some books in French and Latin.
he couch itself bore the impress Of a form,
s if the tutelar deity of the chamber had
cen lying down, and passing her time with
'usic and literature. There was portfolio
pen upon the table, with very pretty lit
e water color sketch, half finished; we'll
ocked library in the corner, bore evidence
} the cultivated taste of the occupant, and
Terytbing about the chamber, from the bed