Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1858-05-08

At the clearinghouse where Dave and his
friends put up" are number Of servant girls,
and it is the idosyncrasy of servant girls to take
their share of toilet articles, such as hair oil,
perfumes, &c., while they were reuvenating the
apartments of the boarders. Dave and his friend
l'obert were very careful Of their respective toi
lets, aud being in counting way, had been pay
ing extra attention to personal adornment
They were in the habit of getting pint of
hair OIL made up by the druggist at one time;
and finally they were in the habit of finding that
pint OF this costly hair oil wouldn't last week
and that all the servant girls in the house emit
ed the same perfume they came to conclusion
in the matter. So one evening when.the hair
oil cruise was empty, they took the bottle which
contained it, and straight they went to the drug
store. There was whispered conversation with
laughing clerk, and mixing various articles in
a pint bottle, and the following was marked on
the prescription book as the contents
Of Lac Asafetida, which for the information
OF our readers we will state, is highly concen-
trated extract of that delicious drug-of this o.
Of Liquor Potasse, "a fluid celebrated for its
corrosive power, having the power of taking the
hair off dog in ten seconds) l-2 OF.
OF Balsam of Fir, (the stickiest and gummest
article known) o.
Of Honey l OF.
OF Alcohol to make the ingredients fluid, one
half pint.
This was well "shuck" and deposited in the
usual place occupied by the hair oil The next
day Sunday Dave and Bob dressed themselves
for church, and after finishing, travelled down
stairs. But they came up another way in few
minutes, and secreted themselves in a room ad-
joining theirs where, from couple of panes of
glass over the door, they could see everything
that went on After the people of the house
had gone, two or three servant girls came into
Dawes room.
whist, Molly said large red-headedone
-"Mlsthur Dave has some more of the lie, and
my hairs as dhry as powdher; let's have a reg
ular fix up, wild the folks all away
This was acceeded to, and they all went to
oiilng their locks, being very lavishw with the
fluid, which was quite thin in consequence of the
alcohol. In few minutes the red-head says:
"Whirra, what smills SO ?" with her nose
turned sky ward
"Sure it's the perfume" interrupted short
and dumpy specimen, with her hair down her
back
''Parfume, indade," says the redhead-"that
is not parfume-t's the rale bad smell"
"Mebby,' says the dumpy, its the Patch Chew
ley. I've hazard folks say that Patch Chewley
smllls dhreadful 1t fust; person must get used
to the sn1ll before they likes it. Shure, it's
parfume used by the quality"
This satisfied red-head, and after thoro' ''il-
ing they left the room. In about two hours
the boarders came home from church.
Good gracious, what is it2 Bless my soul
Mr.. g., shall faint Oh nv dear, there must
be an unclean animal in the room ~ and
thousand other expressions were heard, as the
boarders got sniff at the Patch Chewley, when
they entered the house.
The master and mistress of the house were
puzzled, confounded, indignant, and in vain en-
deavored to discover the locality of the smell.
At dinner time, there were not half dozen
boarders at the table and those that were there
were rapidly thinking of backing out, as the
three girls who were "iled' were waiting on
them.
Finally dinner was given up, and with doors
and windows opened, the inmates alternately
froze and sutfocated. The day was dire one
to them, but it soon wore away.
At night, the three girls attempted to comb
their hair. The alcohol had evaporated, leav-
ing the basam of honey and fir and they might
as well have attempted to comb bunch of
shingles. AT the first dash that red head made,
her comb caught, and through the influence of
the potasse at the roots the whole mass of the
front hair came off the side ofred- heads Uranium
which she discovered with yell that would have
made cannibal envious The same result at
tended the rest of the hair, with the exception
Of enough to do up as scalp lock to ornament
with feathers, in Indian style. The other two
girls met the same fate, and about ten o'clock
that night, they mighthave been seen wrapping
up their lost Patch Chewley locks in pieces Of
paper. The next morning they were informed
by the mistress that she did not desire to en-
2loy bald headed servant girls, and with their
''chists" they departed in almost scalped con-
dition.
The discovery of Dave and Bob's connection
with the transaction was not known till lately,
but their toilet articles since then have been as
sacred from touch as the tomb at Palestine.