Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1858-02-05
Volume III.---No. 81.
Swallowing oysters Alive.


thrust open, and in stalked hero from
the Sucker State. lie was quite six feet
high, spare, somewhat stopped, with
hungry, anxious countenance, and his
hands pushed clear down to the bottom Of
his brooches pockets His outer cover
ing was hard to define; but after survey
ing it minutely, We came TO the conclu
sion that his suit was made in his boy
hood, Of dingy,. yellow linsey worsted
and that, having sprouted up with astor-
ishing rapidity, he had been forced %
piece it out with all colors, in order to
keep pace with his body. In spite of his
cxertions, however, he had fallen in ar
rcars about foot the necessary length
and consequently stuck that far through
his inexpressibles. His crop of hair was
surmounted by the funniest little scal-skl
cap imaginable. After taking position,
he INDUCED in a long stare at the man
opening the Jicalocs, and slowly ejacula-
ted" listers 7"
Yes, sir" responded the attentive
operator; "and fine ones they are, too
Well, I've hearn tell of listers afore, -
says he, q but this is the fust time ever
seed EN-, and pehaps I'll know what thar
made of afore ! git out of town"
Having expressed his desperate inten-
ton, he cautiously approacheda plate, and
scrutinlzed the uncased shell fish with q
gravity and interest which would have
done honor to the most illustrious search
er into the hidden mysteries Of nature. ~
At length he began to soliloquize on the
difficulty of getting them out, and how
queer they looked when out.
:" never seed any thin hold on So
takes an amazin sight of screwin' to git
EN- out, and Amt they slick and slip'rY
when they docs Gomez Smooth as I'M
eel I've good mind to give that fel-
Ter lodgins. jest to realize the effects, as
uncle jess used to say about SPECIFICATION.
Well, sir" was the reply, " down
with two bits, and you can have dozen
Two bits" exclaimed the sucker,
now come, that's stickin' it on rather
too strong, boss, for listers. A dozen
on en-, amt nothin' to chicken, and
there's no gittin' more'n a picayune a
piece for them I've only realized forty
five picayunes on ry first venture to St
Louis III tell you what, I'll gin you
two chickens for dozen, If you'1f con
I cludS to deal
a wag, who was standing by indul-
ging in a dozen, winked to the attendant
10 shell out, and the offer was accepted
=" Now mind" repeated the sucker,
:" all fair-two chickens for 3 dozen
YOU'RE witness, mister" turning at the
same time to the wag; none of your
tricks, for I've hearn tell that you city
fellers are nifty slip'ry coons,"
The bargain being fairly understood,
our sucker squared himself for the onset
deliberately put off his scal-skin cap,
tucked up his sleeves, and fork in hand,
awaited the appearance of No. |. 1t
camc-he saw-and quickly it was bolt
ed A moments dreadful pause ensued.
The wag dropped his knife and fork with
look of mingled surprise and horror
something akin to Shakspcar's Hamlet,
on seeing his daddys ghost, while b.
.
" Swallowed olire as I'm christian
Our sucher hero had opened his mouth
with pleasure a moment before, but now
it stood open. Fear-a horrid dread Of
he didn't know what--a consciousness
that all wasn't right, and ignorance of
the extent Of the wrong, the uncertain
ty Of that moment was terrible. Urged
! TO desperation he faltcred out
E" What on airth's the row Z"
Did you swallow is alive?" cnquired
the wag.
81 swallered it jest as he gin it TO
me y shouted the sucker.
Z" You're dead man !" exclaimed his
his anxious friend 4" the creature is
atire and will cat right hyoagh you," ad.
ded he, in most hopeless tone.
" Gcta pizon pump, and pump it out"
screamed the sucker, in frenzy, his
eyes fairly starting from their sockets
oh, gracious whatll do? Ifs got
hold Of my ianay's already, and am
dead as a chicken! DO somethin' for
me, do-don't let the Internal sea-toad
thL IIIS diOIt YOUR eyes.
-" Why don't you put some Of this on
it said the wag, pointing to the bottle of
strong pepper sauce.
The hint was enough-the sucker IN.
on the instant, seized the bottle, aud
desperately wrencbing out the cork, swal
lowed half the contents at draught. --
lie fairly squealed from its effects, aud
gasped, and blowod, and pitched, and
twisted, as if it were coursing through
him with electric effect, while at the saroo
time his eyes ran stream Of tears. At
length, becoming little composed, his
waggish adviser approached, almost burst
ing with suppressed laughter, and in
quircd--
" How are you now, old fellow did
you kill itl'
DWELL, / did, boss-ugh-ugh 90 my
fhaards If that lister critters dying az
onies didn't stir ruction in me equal 10
a small airthquake, then faint no use
saying tit squirmed like a sarpent
when that killing stuff touched il /; but'
and here with a c0untcnance made W
Of suppressed agony and present deter.
mination, he paused as if TO give force 10
bis words, and slowly and deliberately
remarked" If you cit two chickens
from me for that live animal Pm d-dm
and Selling his seal-skin, he ronfshed.
The shout Of laughter and the contor-
tons OF the company at this finale, would