The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1858-06-09
THE DISPATCH.
q g .. An Amnsing atory.
JUNE Q. isss
!; n ! MORNING..

.ss-~N
~ An Amusing story.
yooper. the editor of the Montgomery fAlahama)
Mail. aud the well known author Of Simon suggs,
tells the foiiowing yarn:
shall l tell You bit OF story, having no con-
nection With politics, this hot dry weather. BY
Old Col. D.. Of the Mobile District, was one
Of the most singular characters ever 10 Aia.
bAmss Tie was testy and eccentric. but possessed
many fine qualities, which were faiiy appreciated
by the people OF the district. Many OF MS freaks
are yet fresh 10 the memory OF the old 'uns OF
Mobile, And all will tell that the Col, though
hard 10 beat was once terribly taken in by a cou'
pie Of legal tyres. George WOODWARD, oeue'e,
tells the story but however that may pc, u Is 10
keeping with the others related oil the OLD gentle
man.
n seems that Col D. had misuni standing
with the two gentlemen alluded 10, aud was not on
xpeasing terms with them, although all three OF
them were professionally riding the same circuit
nrea,y mach togethor The young ones being we'll
aware Of the Coils irrascibie nature, determined
when they left ODE Of the courts for another, 10
have some fuu by the way at his expense Ihey
accordingly got about half aL hours start IN leav-
ing. aud presently they arrived at dark, broad
stream that looked as though it might be dozen
feet deep but In reality, not more than that MANY
inches. Crossing IL, they aiighted, aud pulling OF
their coats and boots, sat quietly down to watch
for old Tartar"
jogging along at length came the old fellow
lie looked first az the youngsters, who were grave
Iy drawing their boots and coats, as VI they haa
lust had a swim aud then looked at the oroaa
creek that rolled before him like transiacent
star The Col. swfuliy puzzled
us this creek swimming" he growied after
pause of some minutes.
Ma renlv was made-the young men simply
mounted their horses aud rode on some Iltte dis-
tapce aud stopped to watch our hero.
The Col. slowly Invested himself OF coat boots
pautaloons aud drawers. These he nicely tea
up In his handkerchief and hung them on 'he
n .aIa liz thanh a ram
was a short. fat man. with q pauhch oil rather IN
ordinate size, rather Inadequate legs, lace IKE
withered apple, aud brown wig, there is no
doubt he made Interesting picture as ne De
stroae his s,eed, with the breeze holding gentle
talIiance with the extremity OF bis only garment
Slowly aud cautiously TIE old gentleman took
the creek. Halt length and the water was not
fetlock deep Here the horse stopped to drink. A
length and q half aud the stream was no deeper
Thirty feet farther aud decided shoaling
Here Col. D. reioed too.
..f,here must" said he, ''be ad-l OF deep chan
mel between this and the bank-see bow III runs.
Well dash through here"
A sharp lash made the horse spring the watery
waste, and another carried the horse aud rider 10
the opposite bank.
The creek was nowhere more than foot deep.
A wild yell from the young uns announced
their appreciation of the sport as they gaiioped
away.
IN catch You. you rascas" was ground
between Col D--'s teeth, and away he galioped
in hot pursuit, muttering vengeance OF his Toes.
ON they Sped pursuer and pursued. The young
sters laughed. and the Col. damned with mighty
emphasis, while HIS shirt finttered and cracked in
the breeze like a loose flying jib.
On, on. and the pursued reached farmhouse on
the roadside. Their passing started Hook OF
geese from fence corner, which, as the Col rush
ed Up. met him with out-spread wings elongated
necks and Kisses dire. His horse swerved sudden
ly, and the Col. was on the ground in most unro-
mantle heap. with his brown wig lying by his
side. and the bundle of clothes scattered all
round.
The white headed children of the house came out
first took distant view of the monster it SEEM
ed to them, and then returned 10 report progress
After little the father of the family came, and
the affair being explained. assisted the Col in ma
king bis toiiette-the Col swearing and the coun-
trymau laughing all the while.
Dressed aud mounted our hero started off with
q woeful phiz, aud was very soon ont OF sight.
The PosrMIsfaEss MEASURING iiER SHARE OF LET
TEas-fhere is a new town in the Northwest cal
lei Barton contraction of Beartown.) At this
point post Office has been established the route
extends some distance beyond, and there are seve
raj Offices further on. Soon after the establish
ment of the office at Barton, the postmasters be-
yond began to be troubled by strange Irregular
ty in the mails This week, one thing would be
missiug; the next week some other package would
he est and quite often letters for b. would b ave
10 be sent back; this state of affairs became
durable add agent Hall was sent 10 investigate
the matter. He went straight to Beartown where he
found the post office in the back room of little
grocery 1t was about time for the mail to arrive.
he took seat in the grocery, where plump and
good natured woman, well in years aud possessed
OF a "rich brogue." attended behind the counter.
dealing out small quantities of beer, cheese, cakes
peanuts, etc, to a company ofouugers who seemed
to wait for some event.
Hal bought quantity of peanuts, and treated
the crowd to beer, by which course he succeeded
In removing all suspicious which his decent garb
had created against him. Soon the stage drove up
and the mail bag thrown out, the lady picked il
up aud refreated to the back room, followed by the
crowd-ncluding Hall, who blocked up the dosr.
After opening the bag, and turning the contents
the fl bor, the postmistress produced box, and
deliberately proceeded to meas ire out peck of
miscellaneous matter from the pile on the floor
Having done this she commenced returning the
rest when Hall found his tongue,
"Why, what are you doing there!" he centrived
to stammer out,
"Indade," said the postmistress looking up, sits
changing the mail that am
SLOW do you know that you get the right mat
ter Why don't you look it over and select your
own"
"Fath an it is FOOLS joy you'd be after havn
me do" replied her LADY shp Il can't read niver
a blessed bit of ritia.' aud when my Jim (he's
had school learnin0 is not here, just measure
out our sheer. r-Wnsh. Star.
A NO. l PERUVIAN GUANO, AT RE-
IA DUCED PRICES-The Agents.of the Peruvian