The Council Bluffs nonpareil. [volume] (Council Bluffs [Iowa]) 1857-1867, 1858-07-03

Dy our Ifl0n0 Us VHiiIIAIuSs-JVtCs = tWs&Ss
sa- Essle tie Fase-Dy Alfred Tsssysoa. y
He c,asps the crag with crooked haBds
ta Close TO the sun in loosely lands, nf3 -fTT
M Riug'd with tke azure world no stands, ,,g.r-4
Thc wrinkied sea beneath him cra~is3 '.*'''
-szg He watchos from his utpuitsin walls, s- 80 sa
And like thunderbolt ho falls.
ot Eagle ge Ssesnd-By @. WAiRHkfns. tss
With kook edciaws be clasps 70 fcacc, rFe = ~
Close by tks ben-reost; gazing thence .rE
He spies mice, what's got no sense "a
fe mics beneath can't well see hinS II s-.a.
ffe watcheth from his lofty limb,
vls0 Then jumpeth down and grabbeth hin. ~
r. S--rhe difference, though only faint, -.s
'Twixt that and this now win paint "a
H His eagles wild, uIy eagle amt. g' is
CT What is it you must keep after Civ,
ing it to another? Your word. -.-...' LA
CT'"This augers WE'LL" rs the musquito
said when he settled on fat mans nose.
T Why is an Englishmsn like bee7
Because he is ruled BY queen.
v CHAINS. A fortune Of twenty thou
sand pounds. 72l e#a1F 80. 4
CouSrER. CHAINS. Pretty shop girls. 4
o. Punch says,, that in the shadow Of a
small waist may be seen large doctors
bill and the outlines of coffin. 7srs 4
CO Theodore Hook, in describing bad
ly dressed dinner, observed, that everything
was sour but the vinegar. .......--., "a. .-.-
a. Horace Walpole tells story of Lord
Mayor of London in his time, who, having
heard that friend had had the smallpox
twice, and died Of it, inquired if he died the
first time or the second. ,.-..r ..- tss s,z
c. A celebrated wit was asked why he
did not marry young lady to whom he was
IL &
replied he, except the great regard we haye
for each other" as'sr bss>rsg7s.. ...s=
T Why is person asking questions the
strangest Of all individuals? Because he 10
the querist. g.ase- VI 81 .s-z .-.r It
a. Bachelors are not entirely lost to the
refinement of sentiment, for the following
toast was given by one of them at eele-
brati0n:
esThe ladies-sweet briar, in the garden
Of life" la4.r ss. f.ast -
TThe Editor of the Southern Demo-
crat says that be has ssalways been accus-
toned to the pen." That's just as swine
should be.-PRENrlcx. ..-
CT Our new neighbor fairly used us up
the other night, by asking US the simplest
question-''When is a fish crazy?" and as
sured US it was only when the aforesaid fish
was n-seiae. ssF a% as1s
e. One Of our finest writers says that
the nightly dews come down upon US
like blessings How very differently the
daily dues come down upon us printers,
these hard times.
ca "Pray, Doctor, had your mother o
son?"
"Let me see! she had two daughters,
but whether she ever had son, Ii really
cannot recolleet!'' sz,gs-sazss -
CO There appears to be great gather
| ing about there premises, said pretty dam
sci as she put on her new skirt. ,-.',. - IL.
eyes" quickly replied her cousin, and q
great hustle, too"
ca A coquette may be compared to tin
der which lays out to catch sparks, but does
not always succeed in lighting match.
CO Atop, in company, wanting his scri
want, called out, stfhere is that bloekhead
of mine?' A lady present answered, Son
your shoulders, SIR y
~ Why is watchdog larger at night
than he is in the morning? Because he is
let out at night and taken in, in the morn
ing. s. = -
CT At a shop window in Drury Lane,
there appears the following notice: Want
ed tco apprentices, Who will be treated as
one Of the family.
fTA young man having devoted him.
self to the special entertainment of q COM,
pany of pretty girls for whole evening,
| lid ~,
them instantly replied, 'Ccrtainly, sir, pre-
sent ysur bill' 81
~ why, Siah, I'm astonished, said
very worthy deacon, 'didn't We take you in-
to our church a short time since?' b,
4 believe so,' hiccupped Siah; sand be-
tween you and me, it was little the darnd-
est take in you ever saw on heard Of -
GTA Chelsea (Mass.) clergyman, alive
to the importance Of advertising, has lately
had printed some five hundred cards for
general distribution, informing his friends
Of the fact that his church has ssfree- seats"
and expressing his willingness to ofaciate ut
baptisms, marriages and funerals!
CO A very gentlemanly individual, who
had been deprived of very valuable um-
brella, postedup the following notice: sWho
was tho gentleman who exchanged umbrellas
with me the other day, and forgot to leave
his?'
CTsBilly how did you lose your 6nger?'
Easily enough said Bill: q suppose; but
how2' Il guess you would "a lost your own
if it had been where mine was" That don't
answer my question: sWell, il you must
know, said Bill, Il had to cut it Of, or else
steal the trap ...-.,..-s- - s~.
O. Wonderful things are done novs-s.
days. said Mr.. Timmins. sThe doctor has
given Flaek's boy a new lip from his check
'Ahn said the old lady, smany's the time /
have known pair taken from mine, and no
very painful operation either:' ,as-
CVPleasaut enough was the t1agnahinsi:
| ty Of the person whO, being repr0ached with
not having ateiiged himself for a Gaming,
said: "Sir, 1netet theddle with what passes
behind my back.
CO On hearing Ike read id one Of the
papers that eightosn rams we're to be used
in an attemptto launch the Leyiathati in
England, Mrs. Partington remarked that d
few yoke Of oxen would be better than the
| rams.
~ 4 few days since, 4 piods old tadt
preparing to 20 to church, was seen to take
a considerable qiantity Of gold from her
trunk, wrap il up carefully and put it into
her pocket; She stated that it Was her habs
it-that it kept her mind steady ut het de-
votion, sfor where the treasure is there viii
the heart bo also.' @@7 &n'' -r6 E@>r-Na'E =
T A French paper states that BY ali az
eidens charcoal has been discovered to be 4
cure for burns. By laying piece Of cold
charcoal upon the burn, the pain subsides
Immediately. By leaving the charcoal OF,
one hour, the wound 10 healed, as has been
demonstrated on several occasions. The
remedy is cheap and simple, and esrtainly
deserves trials ggs ss.s /. ..i,rs,z .e.r,s
g. People s,cre.boats can .ymtatbise
with the following from an Dragon letter !:
s.It rains twenty-six hours in the day for
seventeen months ID the year: A shower
commenced on the Sd Of last November, ard
continued until the 10TH Of March, when it
sct,in for long storm which j. not ended
tat,jS ~