Monmouth weekly herald. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1854-1860, 1858-03-18
0m Strap 8ook
How we Came to be Married.


1t may be funny. but I've done it
I've got rib and a baby. Shadows de-
parted-oyster stews, brandy cock tails,
cigar boxes, boot jacks. absconding shirt
buttons, whist, and dominoes. Shadows
present-hoop skirts, band boxes, ribbons
CATERS, long stockings, juvenile dresses,
tin trumpets, little willow chairs, cradles,
hibs, pap, sugar teats, paregoric, hive
syrup, castor oil, Godfrey's cordial, sooth.
ing syrup. rhubarb. salts. squills, and
doctors bills. Shadows future-more
babies. more hive syrup, ETC., etc. I'll
just til you how | got caught. | was
always the darndest. most tea custard,
bashful fellow you ever did see it was
kinder in my line to be taken with the
stakes every time | say a pretty girl APP
preaching me, and Ia cross the street
any time rather than face one: 'twasn't
because I didn't like tho critters, for if
[ was behind a fsuce looking through a
knot hole. I couldn't look at one long
enough. Well, my sister Lib gave a
party one night, and I stayed away from
home, because | was too bashfnl to " face
the music" I hung around the house,
whistling "Dan Tucker" dancing. to
keep my feet warm, watching the heads
bobbing up and down, behind the window
curtains, and wishing the laundering
party would break up, so | could get to
my room. | smoked up a bunch Of
cigars, and as it was getting late, and
nightly uncomfortable, | concluded to
shin up the door post. No ooner said
than done, and | soon found myself snug
in bed. "Now," says I. "let her rip
Dance till your wind gives OUT" and
cuddling under the quilts, Morpheus
grabbed me.
| was dreaming Of soft shelled crabs
and stewed tripe, and was having a good
time,Iwhen somebody knocked at the door,
and woke me up. RAP" again. laid
low. Rap, rap, rapF' Then I heard
a whispering. and / knew there was a
whole raft Of girls outside. Rap, rapl"
Then Lib sings out, Jack, are you in
then? ~ Yes" says I. Then came a
roar Of laughter. LET US ill.," says she.
II WON'T says I, can't you let a fell
low alone 2" Are you abed n says she
II am" says I. Get up" says she.
Il won'tl" says /. Then came another
laugh. By thunder began to get
riled. SECT out, you petticoated scare
crows!' | cried; "can't you get a beau
without hauling a fellow out Of bed? |
won't 60 home with you'll won't-so you
may clear out r. And throwing a boot at
the door, [ felt better. But presently,
oh mortal buttonsl | heard a still small
unioo x,or- p,noh 1,Lo cfcfou TJh1C ond If
said Jack. you'll have to get up, for
all the girls things are in therel' O.,
Lord, what a pickle! Think of me in
bed all covered with shawls, muffsA bon
nets and cloaks, and twenty girls outside
waiting to get inl If | had stopped to
think, | should have pancaked on the
spot. As it was, | rolled out among the
bonnet-wire and ribbons, in a hurry
Smash went the millinery in every di
rection. | had to dress in the dark, for
there was a crack in the door, and the
girls will peak-and the way | fumbled
about was death on straw hats. The
critical moment came. | opened the door
and found myself right among all the
"Oh, my Leghorn r cries one.
]" Ny dear, darling, winter velvetl r cries
another, and they pitched in-they pulled
me this way and that w~ay-boxed my
ears and one bright-eyed, little piece
-Sal-her name was, put her arms right
around my neck. and kissed me right on
my lips. Human nature couldn't stand
that, and | gave her as good as she
sent. It was the first time | ever got a
tlste, and it was powerful good. | be-
lieve l could have kissed that gal from
Julius Caesar to Fourth Of July. Jack"
said she, We are sorry to disturb you,
but won't you see me home 2" YES"
said |, 4" l will" | did do it, and had
another smack at the gate, too.
After that, we took q kinder turtle.
after each other, both Of US sigh