Sugar planter. [volume] (West Baton Rouge [i.e. Port Allen, West Baton Rouge Parish, La.]) 1856-1925, 1858-07-24

apparatus, called the =" giants
harp" in blowing weather yeald-
heightened peals of harmonious
music. In storm this music was
sometimes at the distance ofseveral
miles.
Sut Lovengood gives his idea of
strong minded woman:
George did you ever hev a strong
minded oman git arter you-a rale
he oman? "No." Well, if ever wun
coes-just you fight her like sshe
wore whiskers or run like HI: eff
you don't, ef she don't turn you in
ter a kidney worm'd hog what can't
raise his bristles, in less nor mon-
tn, you ar more or less owe man
than l takes you to be. Owe all tie
varm:nts | ever seed Ise feardest Of
them. They aint human; theyse
an ekal m!xtry owe stud hoss, black
snake, goose, peacock, britches-
and id raskil. They wants to
be man and es they can't, they
fixes up thar case by being devils,
Take keer ov EN-; you'd better cum
in contact with a comit ur a coal
porter than wun owe EN- eny time.
They'll undermine your constitution
sure.
"A dandy, with a seear in his
mouth, entered a menagerie, when
the proprietor asked him to take the
weed from his mouth, lest he should
learn the other monkeys bad hab-
it's.
"A few nights ago, Mr.. Jones,
who had been out taking his glass
and pipe, on going home late, bor-
rowed an umbrella, and when his
wife's tongue was loosened, he sat
up in bed, and suddenly spread out
the parapluie. +
''What are you going to do with
that thing" said she. <>
"Why, my dear, l expected a
very heavy storm to night, and so I
came prepared"
In less than two minutes Mrs.
Jones, was fast asleep.
"A young man in New York
advertised for wife. In less than
two hours, we are told, that eighteen
married men sent in word that he
might have theirs.
"A gentleman having been ask
ed, on his return from party, if he
had seen anything Of Miss A.,
replied that he had seen q ''good
deal Of her" The lady was in the
habit of wearing very low necked
dresses.
-ssThanks O. said an old bache-
lor, <'no more women in heaven
they can't get in--their hoops are
so broad they will have to 60 the
broad road--can't get through the
narrow gate"
"A pair Of sweet lips, a pressure
or two of delicate hands, and a
pink waist ribbon, will do as much
to unhinge a man as three fevers,
the measles, a large sized whoop-
ing cough, pair OF lockjaws, sever
al hydrophobias, and the doctors
bill.
"A Yankee doctor has contrived
to extrat from sausages a powerful
tonic, which, he says, contains the
whole strength Of the bark. He
calls it "sulphate Of canine"
"A lady named Temple, whoi is
we'll known in the fashionable re-
gions of Belgravia has discovered
a remedy for suffering. It is sim
ply the act of reading in whisper,
and gradually augmentingthe whis-
per to a louder one.
-Spurzhiem was lecturing on
phrenology. "What is to be con-
sidered the origin of drunkennesss'
said the professor. "The barrel Or
pan" shouted one Of the audience.
-"Cato, dos you know dem
Johnsings up dar in Congo Place is
goin to be berry spectacle folks!'
'sWal Scipio, I thought dey war
getting along berry well, but l
doesn't know how spectacle dey
is." "How spectacle does you tink
Cato?" "Wal, guess about three