The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1858-09-15
WHOLE NO. 1O1.

\ A lithographic plat is the horoscop
of the unreal estate dealer. A littl
diagram in the corner shows how tn
world is subordinate to the theory Q
the metaphysical town site-how with
out it the cosmos would be without
: plan--geography without an object
many without destiny, or any place t.
60 to or come from--how this, an,
nothing else but this, explains, adjust
and simplifes the Whole economy of tn,
Universe. The map, of course, is no
intended to represent fact but a theory
If people persist in calling man ras
cal because they are misled by his the
cries, let them also call Plato and Para
| CELSIUS rascals.
To the lithographic or metaphysical
town plat succeeds the empirical class
Of town sites, which is founded upon
the popular fallacy that city is the
necessary organic product of certain
processes of mechanical incubation.
Given hotel and blacksmith shop, aud
the city follows as natural consequence.
Virgin Nature, SO she be fair to look
upon, and endued with certain vital
force Of water power, is impregiiated
with an urds conditx BY the very pros.
pect of saw mill. The rude log hut,
which marks the nucleus of the squat
ter's dream, is tho embryotic honuncu-
lus in which his prophetic eye discerns
the whole structure of the future giant.
He reasons that if the seed is planted,
no matter where, and duly fostered in
its germ, the tree will surely grow.
And summer after summer he watch
es, as dogs watch by graves, to see the
city burst it's cerenents Of sod and
winter after winter he weaves, like a
patient spider, his vision of streets and
quares across the blank waste of SHOWS,
and inmures himself in invisible strands
of palatial splendor, and sets there year
after year, a faithful sentinel at the lit
tie postern gate which opens into that
wonderful future, to whose turretted
vistas he will show you a clear title
by patent from the General Land Of
fee.
The experimental town site is an alta,
erected to the unknown god. Itis con.
secrated to an idea. 1t is the crucible
of any alchemist who expects to see
the universal solvent emerge from it.
He differs from the metaphysician who
regards towns as evolved from dia'
grams, by seeking a physical result
through physical agencies. Like the
latter, however, his theory of the uni
verse is based upon his town site. HI
ignores the existence, even as an ab
stract possibility, of any other town with
in the assumed circle of it's gcographi
cal relations. If he alludes to others
it is solely as TERMS of comparison, o
as melancholy instances OF the illu
sions Of which the human mind is tn,
victim.
He will take a map and show you how
by the inevitable conveyance of air
tliaaS and watOr- -.,onrssS, lusa{,urgh fs
the natural outlet of the whole region
thereabout, and how Skunk Hollow anc
Gander Creek must ever remain tribu
tary to it. These places have been puff
ed into Fictitious notoriety, but they
don't amount to anything. He point.
with pride to frame building in cours,
of construction and tells you they hav'
nothing but log houses at Skunk Hol
low. That frame building, which in
troduces a new era in the architecture
of the town which had only been illus
trated heretofore by three log buildings
is the pride and glory of the Humbur
CHER. AS the testimony of its fair pro
portions rises before you, he seizes tn
opportunity to say that he is willing t,
let his place speak for itself. He has
natural and peculiar horror of gas
Have you seen his magnificent wate1
power? three feet fall. capable Of driv
ing one hundred mills. By cutting
canal to lake sixteen miles off. the pow
er could be indefinitely increased
The place, you learn, has grown rapid
ly. In 1854 it contained one inhabi
tant in 1853 the census showed All AZ
gregate of ten persons, so that tn
population has absolutely Occupied il
four years, q ration of increase whicl
will safely challenge comparison witt
the fastest cities in the world. Th
town. however. will speak for ITSELF
There is five story hotel, cotton fac
tory, and u smoke house under con
tract, and preparations are being made
to erect several hundred private dwell
ings. The Humburgher is delicatel,
desiro:,s that you should form your ow
opinions of the place. He is no han'
at gassing; supposes you have hear
enough OF that at Skunk Hollow: N
reliance, we are assured, is to be place,
on the representations received at tina
place. They have Post Office, to b
sure, but it will doubtless be removes
to Humburgh as soon as the Postmaste
General is acquainted with the fact tina
Humburgh is the commercial centre G
the neighborhood. The new fran
building which you are informed is t
be a wholesale dry goods and grocer
store. places the commercial supremac
of Humburgh beyond question, an
several others are under contract.
Skunk Hollow, however, exposes tn
fallacy Of the Humburgh theory
Humburgh sinks into insigni6cance i
the grandeur of the scheme from whic
Skunk Hollow is deduced. The Pos
Office is a national recognition of tn
greatness OF Skunk Hollow. Hum
burgh is a humbug. Twenty-four Stat
and two hundred county roads centr
at Skunk Hollow. being several NOR
than were represented in the Hamburg
system. Besides, Skunk Hollow wa
incorporated by act Of the Legislature
which II IA raliUiouSly haliavnd in tn