davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1858-04-16

GRAVITY vs.. FoLLY.-lt was a saying
Of Paley, that he who is not fool ha OF
the time is fool all of the time. Robert
Hall, who held similar opinion, on being
reploached by very dull preacher, with the
exclnmaiion--sllowc can a man who preach
es like you, talk in SO triilng manner"
replie,i-'therr, brother, is the difference
between US; you talk your nonsens in the
pulpit talk mine out OF ii. The eminent
Dr. South, being in the midst of a frolic on
one occasion, and seeing dignifed, unbend-
ing acquaintance approaching exclaimed
stop We mast be grave now; there is a
fool coming
Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1858-04-16
M a n 1I.E

HE public attention is respectfully solicited to
the fart that have hand a large and xare a.
sahe STOCK OF IN Marble which frequsut
ADDITIONS vi be made And knowing that purchasers can
SUIT much better b. SEEING article they buy
tnan oy description OF it. respec fully all persons
to examine the material offered for inspection
Customers requesting it. viii be called upon for their or
der but those who outrage the enes Of surviving friends
and hep disreect upon the dead BY uneasouabe calls and
repeated opportunities for contracts will OF he initiated
Every article viii be wrought in the best manner from o
and sold at the lowest possible price from which
70 sn ne INSIDE critiral comparison If the
craftsmanship particularly carving aud minor cun,n-
with that Of any respectfully solicited
d. L. PIERCE
Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1858-04-16
Buy Ne and I'll Do You Good
Now Is the time the Great Spring and summer
Medicine DIR LANGLEf's
ROOT AND HERB BITTERS,
Composed u sarsapara, Wild Cherry Yeaw Dock Prick
IL Ash. Thorough wort, Hhubarb, Mandrake, Dam
de.ion, &c.-ail Of which areso compound
ed n uct IL concert and assist

ed rs " nct ~ concert alFA AsFANe
Nature in Graduating disease
The effect Of this medicine Is most wonderful acts di
recy uron the bowels and ood. by removing a ohtrue-
ons from the interna organs, stimulating thet into
healthy action renovatug the fountains Of he and ssor
puf, ing the blood cleansing it all huoTs nd eaus
ing TO course through every part Of tho body The
cure and era rae from the System Liver ConlPl THAT
maiu-gIee Of many seasesIautiee ~ iis "oft ierus
an Iious diseases and Faul stomach Dyspepsia Cotye
Ilumors Of the blood and Skn, Indigestion iiesaace
Dizziness piles, Heartburn. Weakn Pain IN the sue and
bowels FatueEe1 Los Of Appetite aHd al kindred com
plants csussi by torpid disast lyet @lsorefei
stomach bad Blood to which ii are more 81 Aee eet
in Spring and summer
II taken large doses Fever and Ague mas he bren up
aud cured at This has become standaFd medicine
and il decidedly the best the world ever saw
Only % for Punt, and 30 cents for large bottle
Sold by all medicine dealers everywhere Orders should
St, Boston. Mass. 1875
Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1858-04-16

Coop BAcKERs.-A long-bearded Gus
toner entered spiritual bookstore in New
York, last week, and applied for an agency.
He proposed to take a large quantity OF books
10 his part OF the country, away out west,"
where he represented that he could sell them,
as he was assured by the .'invisible." The en-
terpriSing books-llerwas, of course del gifted
with this prospect of sale; but his enthusiasm
was somewhat dampend when the long
bearded gentleman remarked that lie h d no
money, and wanted the books upon credit.
:, Are you responsible? was the natural in
qliry of the merchant" Perfectly. -
F." What evidence of your capahility can you
furnish p" l have the best of hackers
men whose names YOU know well."-The
merchants countenanee Frightened. Very
well" said he T" let us see your papers" -
ThereHpon the customer presented the fol-
lowing Documents" 10 aohom il mag con-
Germ: We, the undersigned, having been ac-
quainted spiritually with Mr.. -, of -,
Wisconsin,, for many years, recommend him
as perfectly reliable, and would not be afraid
to trust him to any amount GEORGE
WAsHINGToN, THOMAS JEFFERSON,
HENRY CLAY, TnoMAs PAINE, JouN
Mirror, and others. Through Jape E.
medium. The DO kscler remarked that
the hackers We're good, If the MEDIUM was
,rsliable; but he thought, on the whole he
n sprefer to keep the books. The Gus
,ere upon denounced the boo<seler as
l. ster---telling him that he d d not be-
we've his own doctrines. aud that tue spirits
would expose his daplicity to the wo ID
Oflhis he fel, assured by the spirit of proph-
ecy that was within him. The bookseller
wHS not convinced.
Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1858-04-16

integrity than the Yankee school-master."
Mr.. Trumbul has never forgotten Mr..
Whistlesey's prediction.
Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1858-04-16
FoUND MS MArcu-In the court 0

FoUND MS MATcH.-In the court of
quarter sessions, q petty case was bring
tried. A well known criminal lawyer, who
plides himself upon his skill in cross-exam-
ming witness, had an odl looking genius
upon whom to opcrale. The witness was
a boss shoemaker. "You say, Sir, Chat the
prisoner Is a thief? "Yes, sir, cause why,
She confessed it," sand you also swear
she bound shoes for you subsequent to the
coatession?' Il do, sir Then giving
IA Sagacioas look to the court-'we are to
understand that you employ dishonest peo-
pie TO work Tor you, even after their rascal
ites are known "Of course; how else
could get assistance from lawyer" Nut
much made out Of that witness,-Philadei-
phia North Auericfaa.
Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1858-04-16

RAILROAD VIII recently took rip
West, and whilr passing over The +. q H..
r. r., being fond Of" the weed" had taken
my seat in the baggage ear for the purpose
of INDUCING ma" Havana" when a neryo Is
individual entered the ear and commenced
overhanling the baggage. Tie baggage
master, after e. eng him a moment, aecosted
him with:
"What's wanting sir?"
I'm looking for my trunk" damurely an
swered the nervous man.
Il will take care OF your trunk, sir-that
is my business retortrd the baggnge-master
"Oh | am aware Of that, sir, but | would
always much rather keep my trunk under
my eye"
We'll then, sir. you should have been
horn an elephant, and then you could lave
your trunk undcr your eye all the time
Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1858-04-16
THE PERFECT MELoDEoN
,..z3s0

MOTHER rglUMru! Al IuE LATE STATE FAIR
"A at burlington, the NELoDgoN aga svard
FIRST Premium for purity and power Of
and promptness Of touch
In every desirable quality necessary for superior instr
nent the Perfect Eeodeon unsurpassed OF this have
alb udslt testimony.
The addition Of the Base Dam per, for which have
recently obtained letters patent is Of the greatest i'm
provemepts made the MeodeOn IL f. meeting with
universal approhatan and Is considered Indispensable by
who used il and become familiar with its beautiful ef
ect-Nithout Ii is almost Impossible to sell an n.tru
ment.
IANO RITES
from the best makers selected by Prof y. p BAKER @,
BOSTON which Is sufficient guarantee er excellence
for sale and to rent at manufacturers prices
All Instruments warranted aud any part Of the
country at own risk ESrBY GREEN
BGATrLEs0Ro sept "a, 1856. 80
Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1858-04-16
-zszzss-1 VT. VALLEY R4LRoAD "a

- VT. VALLEY RAILROAD NO.
ssxke-.eSs-. TlCE. On aud after MONDAY NOV a. 1857
as rains will leave Bellows Falls for raftleoo at
80 u and 24d r. " and returning leave Brateboro-
at l025 A and i.s0 p. VI.
Freight Train Bellows Fails Mt 10 NJ a,J p~.t
tiebcro at IL As p. NJ.
Inc two passenger trains this route connect South
win ts " Mass. ard Connecticut river Railroads to.
Phgheia Hartford New Haven and bridgeport direct to
~ ~ YORK On the North with the Rutland Burlington
uNah " Central, Vermont Canada Conpeetisut and
na PFC Rivers Railroads forming comm unca ion
WIN iiteha Saratoga and Sch,neetady st Jobr.
ad = hi'e mountains Bur ngton and Rouses Point o.
W. y ana Montreal NJ sLoAT, Supst.
49, = iov't q
Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1858-04-16
KEROSENE OIL S.

KEROSENE OILS,
DISTILLED coal CSor EXPLOSIVE
SFCUKtD BT LETTERS PATFNT.
THE different grades Of these Celebrated Oils suitable for
Machinery of all kinds. BnnacIe and Family use ca
be had of the undersigned also Of Wholesale Oil Deal
and Druggists in the City New York and Of the au
thorized Local Agent Of the Company in this place.
AUSTENs,
GENERAL AGEsTs. KEROSENE on Co,
No. so Beaver ST., New York
70 Local Agencies granted application as above Or
ders should specify description Of the lamp or Machine
~ for which the oil is wanted, "a Iy-s0
Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1858-04-16
TESTIMONIALS

During the time occupied the Office OF Commissioner
Of Patents II Fday Esq Boston did business at the
Patent Office as Stior for procuring patents. There
were iew any acting in that capacity had so
much bushes before the Patent Office were none
VINO conducted IL with skill fidelity suec-ss-I
regard Mr. Eddy of the best most skill
iu atent solicitors in the United have hes
itaon in assuring inventors that they cannot en- p
son more competent an Trustworthy and capable Of
pntng their application in secure for them an
carly and favorable consideration the Pate, once
EDMUND BURKE
Late Commissioner Of Patentss
From the Present Commissioner
August Ia ls54 During the have held the ofFee
OF commissioner Of Patents X. n Eddy. ESQ Of soston
mas been extensively efeaged the of bur.ss
with the Once as soter He is thoroughly artu.ir led
With The law and tire rules Of practise of the nee
gard him as one of the capable successful
TONERS with whom have had Official int. rruurse
~ 41fl cIAS. MASON.
eommissiepes Of P.tsss
s>''cn Ss"- 4, iesss slf- ~
Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1858-04-16

So. Som one says of certain Con
aregaIion that they pray on their knee:
Sundays, aud on their neighbors the rest O
the week
Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1858-04-16
CLoUGH's COLUMBIAN PILLS,
- SnER MA Ms LININIENT. =

universal Pain Destroy the Good samaritan for Rhuna
tein and all aches; ClARK's SHAVING CREAM a COM
pound OF the greatest novelty combining in rinsc
virtues OF soap without its Impurities One will last
aver. For sale BY j. a. WIGIITNAN
Bellows Falls, Aug. 25th, 1857. as.
Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1858-04-16

T. TAFT, has recently enlarged his operating rooins
erected In ge SKY LIGHT and made other Improve
ments as to render them inviting TO his patrons
ole or producing trst class Photographic He is the
exclusive for this vicinity the Right 10 n.unufc-
ture Bsbee celebrated sRhereots pc Cuttings
hroype and Neh s Melanotpe The Meainot, ye beau
fu sly picture for locket Pins, Rings &c Every styic
sary = ~
u has been my object in fitting up nv rooms to offer the
public opportunity for obtaining Good Work inferior 10
hone No portion my work Is performed by Indifferent
workmen. but IN thorough manner and warranted M give
perfect satisfaction Cali aud If it is So 81
Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1858-04-16

Avoid entering into an argument with
deaf man in railway car, as ii is sure Il
lead 10 high words.
Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1858-04-16

We understand says western exchange,
that Their. Is "A man III this county, who has
move SO often that whenever covered
wagon comes near his house, his chickens
all march up. fall on their back and cross
their legs, ready to be tied and carried to
the next stopping place.
Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1858-04-16
THE SECRET INFIRaiITIEs OF
YO Z L ii AND MATUR ITY

just Published, Gratis, the 18th Thousand.
FEW words the rational TIE iiment without MeJii-
"A cine OF spermatorrhes Local Weakness, Nocturnal
Emissions Genital and Nervous Debility Premature De-
cay OF the system, lmpotency, and mpedin Mar
rlage geheraiy, by D. DELANEY, NJ d.
einportant fact that the many alarming complaints,
organizing IN the imprudenee and itude Of YOUTH may
De easily removed WITHOUT in small tract
eenr demonstrated and the entirely highly sue
cefnl Treatment adopted BY the Author by means Of
which every one is enabled himself perfectly and at
the least cost thereby avoiding all the aivertse
uostrums of the day.
sent to any address gratis and post in sealed en-
esop oy RENTING two postage stamps Dr. DE LANEY
II Lspenard st. New York. s-7-lv
Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1858-04-16

Jerrold said that young boys who marry
old maids,"gathcr in the sprung of life the
golden fruits OF autumn
Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1858-04-16
JOHN G, WIGHTMAN,
PROVISION STORE.
Groceries, Oysters. Fruits, Farmers, proIner 6r

.
A GENERAL ASSORTMENT OF GROCERIES or All
"A KINDS:
Sugar Spices all kinds Soaps Cream TARTAR saeratps
salt FISH Raisi s. eOniectionaries. Spgars Totaeeo
Nuts Of all kinds, and various other articles.
Vegetables Potatoes, Turnips, Onions Carrots Cab
ba G. aud ali other kinds
Fruits. Apples Of kinds and other Fruits in their
sensonte iii also Keep on hand Boston and New Haven
o siers. wholesale and reta;l
lie VIII sell at prices corresponding WITH the tin
warranted TO prove satisfactory He constantly receiving
from market fresh additions % his stock which are pur-
chaed at bargain and viii be I'D a small advance In
short If you want Cheap Prov ision-. give him cali
and You can get the worth of our money
Wantcd.-An kinds of Farmers Produce wanted for
which ne vi" pay fair market price Those having any
dispose OF viii do we'll to cali him.
Bellows Falls, July 80, 1851. 81
COOKING EXTRA CTS, of various kinds. for sal,
" at WE.UIMAN.S
TWO NEW PIANO PORTES FOR
sale or to let by HARRIS. sTONE& co
Sept. 3, 1857. "a
Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1858-04-16

A LOT OF SECOND HAND CARPEN-
tiers and Joiners Tools. and Machine Ciaphoards for
SAFE py 1911 J, G.. WlGIIrMAN
Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1858-04-16

ftses9oN ilclitli, ttat she wants
"a gentleman for "breakfast and tea
Lola Montez says it is strange to see
what pains men and women take to catch
each other, and how little pains they take
TO h id on.
A Frenchman translating the comedy
called Loves last Shift" wrote the title,
la Derntere cheastse de PAmour."
A Hibernian Senator, speaking of suicide,
.aid,'The way to stop it, is to make it a
capital offence.
pay me that six-and-eight pence you
owe me for my opinion, Mr.. Mulroony," said
village attorney.
"Failh, never had any opinion of you
in my life
"Stlly, how do you like your new place !?
Is it a religious family ?" " Well, | rather
guess il is-they always have beans on Sum
day.
In the ancient grave yard at enfield, CT,
there is stone which says
Here my two wives they be;
When | am done hope my son
VIII get some stones for me-"
Johns wife and John were tete-a-tete.
She Witty was, industrious he;
Says John,~l earned the bread we've ate
And L., says she,' have urRed the tea,
Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1858-04-16
ARMS g. WILSON.

DAINTs OILS AND GLASS,
Nay %, 1857. q
Glasgow weekly times. (Glasgow, Mo.) 1848-1861, 1858-12-30
FOR THE LADIES.

VIE especially invite The attention OF our lady
W customers 10 our stock, which embraces es-
cry article they may desire, either for utility or
ornament.
SiIks-Black and fancy; embracing new and
rich styles, and cheaper than silks have
ever been sold.
and English, finest styles
and all coiors. Alpaca, silk warp;
EombaZlnes.
Satin DeCi.cEe-A most beautiful and en-
treiy new article, with a
side stripe.
Unbes-De Laine, very handsome article.
Caslrneres-Printed and plain, rich and beau
tful.
Gtnslrams-In great variety, style and price.
SE.a.VEs, CfOaks and EssIsters-A truly
handsome assortment, OF the styles n0r
tr0fn in the asst, and the FIRST brought west.
We are certain 10 please in them.
BGnncts. 6Sc.-Silk and Fancy Bonnets, fhe
present faIl styles, ard very handsome, To-
gether with flowers and ribbons for TRIM
rnings. Call and see them.
White ssOOds-In all varieties, together with
large stock OF collars, undersieo'es.
chemiseties, &c.
We beg IraYe 10 assure our friends that we pro-
pose 10 sell our complete stock lower than we
haze ever sold before. We purchased them low
er, and therefore sell them lower, and viii
do it. [sep2l STR0USE & FRlEDSAM.
Glasgow weekly times. (Glasgow, Mo.) 1848-1861, 1858-12-30

AseTHER CHARGE OF FILLIAxT AT
PLArTsBunG.-The Piaitsburg land cfiice
seems 10 be an unfortunate place Of late
days. We learn that charges have bsen
preferred against TIE present officials, of
nalseas,nee in Office. The matter ought TO
be beinvestigaied, and the guilty party expos!
ed, or their good names defended by an
honorable scquittal. We pptiee from tie
Hesi, Of last week, shat our Representative
in Congress advises a suspension Of fur
ther investigation into the charges against
Judge Birch.-[Platte Argus. -, - ,st :,
For which Judge Birch does not thank
him, but begs, aad demands that the inye,-
iisatiun be prosecuted $3.50 ~ I7b
Glasgow weekly times. (Glasgow, Mo.) 1848-1861, 1858-12-30
EDUCATIONAL. ETC.
- - ---------' . - 49, sr-H------.-
Elm Ridge Academy.

THE Trustees of this Academy take pleasure
i in informing the public that they have Sc.
cured the services Of j. II. Sauhorn. A. B as
principal. MIR. Sanhorn is regular graduate OF
Dartmouth College, and comes highly recommend.
ed from gentlemen in the Easf, and from per-
sons of standing in ST. Louis, IS gentleman and
scholar. We feel confident thai the hitherto high
reputation that this academy has born, will be
sustained under the management of the present
principal Mr. SdnborR has Ind five years expe
reace in teaching, and the trus.ees can confident
IL recommend Elm Rid+ 20 ~ sasssss- and Enartii-
ans Us a.I0rdiaS facilities FOR Instruction rot Of
ten found in the West. Good boarding can be
had in pleasant private families convenient to the
school.
Terms per session, The same as heretofore. For
further PARTICULARS, address Or. J. II. SANBORN.
Principal, or either Of the undersigned.
~" The fall session commenced on Monday,
It'll October. and will continue four months.
&. w. MOREHEAD,
NJ. B. COLLINS,
T. NJ. LEWIS. Trustees.
EVAN PRICE,
X. l.. BARTON,
oct7 IF
Glasgow weekly times. (Glasgow, Mo.) 1848-1861, 1858-12-30

WISDOM.
What riEh. hast thou the laws 10 know,
That rule the tide of all affairs below?
IT'S strange such worms should BE ike serpents
bold! .---.-
And then, demand view Of things untold
Long have I watch'd the tnutability of things;
Tor fight, nor deep descent, an answer brings.
have no ample Pow'r to lift the screen -
Which hides those mist'ries God doth wish r..
seen: ...-... -.
Yet, this know, and therefore do reveal;
Fortune, with brittle wax, your fats doth seal;
IT'S her undiscrimiaating, restless hand,
That bends, yea, shapes your course, apd stops
TIE sand
The tender gauge OF hfe's uneven way ..
The vital cord that snaps without decays;
Then, if your p assport fails to suit your view,
Just break tie seal-for better s.papers" sue.
Fortune is base and weaf-she may be brlbed;
Her will may change-be ready for the tide;
With telescope eye, survey beyond ..a..
The dismal swamp, and stagnant, cro.iling pond
Close your ear to fortunes damnng voice; r..
And on her stern, opposing cliffs rejoice; o..
Prepare yeur mind for ev'ry blasting frown;
Be not dismay'd at that alarming sound,
Which browns the usual music of the glen;
But, onward through this dark and helish den:
Let Fortuue frown Till ev'ry scene reflects 81
Her haggard face, which only Hell protects,
And curse un;il her soul is vanquished quite,
Till happy day is chang'd 10 endless nishtl 2
Press on though fate, and all your blight OPP
pose .I - q.
Victory shall be yours ere the battle closei g.
CHARTS
Glasgow weekly times. (Glasgow, Mo.) 1848-1861, 1858-12-30
AGENTS.
Writ n for tie Times
IGNORANCE AND WisrCH7.

IGNORANCE. -
What makes that widen'd mark tween men and
men? .s -..15.
Between their birth, their race, and final end?
The query's put; an answer demand; ~
Then speak 1t Wisdom's voice If you can:
Reveal 10 me the nimble, secret springs, -.
That click, and change the course Of men and
things, f'f
But dart, to lift from degrada:ion's shame
Base man, and place him on the spire of fame,
In gross, bonbastic pride 10 contemplate
His first debut-and present lofty state;-
Accepting TO his own great l7iH the pralsS, y
That from spark Untolds roaring blaze
So bright-so all consuming in IFS force, -'.-f
Thatscrutiny's eye turns blind, and seeks divorce
From ali her Eonted pow'r TO see and weigh:
Her ear is deaf-she knows rot whence the
neigh-
The NOBLE steed, o. stupid, stubborn ass.
That such should be The case, we say, alas!
And when some youth of fairer birth would pass
From pure and lovely scenes to higher spheres,
The click, unknown, reveals the path he fears;
Th' outrageous vale and dainty rose trin'd rin,
Are chang'd, as by Hell's satanic skill, ...
To growing gaps, where various reptiles cfseFs
To suck the poison air, and yigils keep,
While XE;ihir-- annry clouds dn mise their h.ss
Then, seam their vivid, zigzag, burning teeth
The hard, sharp PauS across tie ehasIn fits, > p
Alarming cen TIE ophidian tribe beneath -
The wide, extensive plains, with nodding iowersj
ind verdant, singing groves that bathe IN showers
OF gentle MAY, are turn'd to thirsty peaks;
Whose crags are mark'd by bloody yssiTeakss 5.-
And crown'd with bleaching human bones,
The silent Mentors Of perished hecatOmbs.