The Council Bluffs nonpareil. [volume] (Council Bluffs [Iowa]) 1857-1867, 1858-03-27

his face wAs ugly. The yery climax OF ug-
illness was Ben Purtle-whaf was still more.
Ben had handsome, bouncing, and bloom
ing wife su0h ~ can only be grown upon
q good old country farm. e8 - $50
s.How the ducs," said / to Ben one day,
"did you ever get such wife, you uncouth,
quintcsseuce Of monstrosity ?''
Ben was not at al offended By the. imper-
tinsnceof my question; and Forthwith began
to solve the question, thus: II. 81 sti.'-a;a !
"Well, now, gals, what's sensible ain't
cotched by none Of your purity hifalutin airs.
I've seed that tried morn once. You know
Katy was allsrs considerable the purtiess
gal in these parts,l and Ill the young fsllers
in the naberhood used to try 10 catch her,
Well, ] used to 90 over to Old Samnsy's too,
just 70 kinder look on, you know, and cast
sheep's eyes at Kate. But, Lord sakss! j
had no more thought that could get Kate
than Jerusalem cricket could hide in the
hair that wasn't on old Sammy's bald bend
mo stree. But still couldn't help going,
my heart would kinder fatser, and nv eyea
would burn all over Whenever I'D 70 TO talk
to Katy. And one day when Kate sorter
made fun of me, it almost killed me, sure /;
went home Will something like . rock Joe
tim in my breast, and swore I'd hing my
self With the first plow-lins i found"
"Did you hang yourself" 2" .s..- 49,.
ing old Belito the pasture in the morning,
and scared ne 20 bad that I forgot it.'' Ia75
Go aon,'is said /, seeing Ben panse, with
apparent regret that be had not executed hia
vow.
iawell, soon, one Sunday mornins-1
reckon it was about . year after that hang
ing scrspe, got up and scraped my face
with daddy's old, razor, and put on my new
coprus breeches and new linsey coat marin
had dyed with sasafras bark, and went oycr
to uncle Sammy's. Now, I'd got to loving
Kste like oil creation, but never cheeped
TO anybody about, my feelings, but 1 knoaed
! was on the right side Of the old folks.''
Swell now, amt it quar-, 7" continued Ben,
after slight pause, during which he rolled
his quid to . more convenient place in his
mouth, show feller will feelt sometimes ?
Something seemed to say as went along,
Ben Purtle, this is q great day for you and
my heart futtered and jumped like q jay
bird in a trnp. Aud when / got there and
seed Kate with her new homspun frock on
| rally thought ! should take the blind stag
gers, enyhow.
Ben paused again to brush the fog from
his eyes, and then continued - b95Sjdatss
u"Well, 1 found the order of the day ives to
60 muscadine hunting. Joe Sharp and his
two sisters and Jim Bowles was thar. I'D
know'd q long time that Joe was right after
Kate, and | hated him worse than a. hog
hates to find the way eut of later patch,
but didn't let on. Sharp had ON white
breeches, fine shoes, and q broadcloth coat,
but everybody know'd he warn't worth a
red cent. He walked with Kate and you
ought to have seen the airs he put on. 1t
was Miss Kate this and sMiss Kate that,
and all such nonsense. After while we
came near slough, whar we had to cross
on log, and I'd a notion to pitch the sassy
good-for-nothing into the water.''
"Why didn't you?'' I asked, sympathising
with the narrator. s ssa4S -
"Stop, never mind" said Ben, giving me
q nudge. "Providence done that all up
brown. Nothing must do but Joe must lead
Kate across fust. He jumped on the log in
high glee and took kate's hand and of they
put. just as they got half way across, a
tarnation big bull frog jumped Of into the
water. You know how they holler. Snake
screamed the blasted fool, and knocked Kate
Oft up to her waist in the tarnal nasty, black,
muddy water. End what dye think he done?
Why, run backards and forards, hollerin'
for q pole to help Miss Kate out of the water.
Kate looked at me and / couldn't stand it
any longer. Curchunk lit ten feet from
the bank at the first jump, and had Kate out
there in no time. Andd dye think the scamp
didn't cum up after we'd got out, and said !:
sAr you hurt, Miss Kate - - - :
"My dander was up. 1 couldn't stand it.
took him by the seat Of his white breeches
and his cont collar, and gin him toss. May
be be didn't go, clear under when be hit the
water. didn't see him out. Me and Kate
started for the house. When we started OF
Kate said !: fl37stp5l , SGia&E&2 ara s2
"Ben, jist let me hold on to your arm, my
knees feel sorter weak.'' zsifc!s,se.- -. -
"Gepeat jimmy! l felt so quar- when she
tux hold. Itried to say something nice, but
my mouth would not 20 of no how. But
felt a. strong a. an anelephant, and helped her
along. Bimeby Kate said $ l,sa' saa;3..
is'Ben, that Joe Sharp's 4 good -for.noth-
ing, sneakin', cowardly nobody; if ever he
puts his head inside Of our house again, I'll
souse him with dish water, sure" Gry18fs
ltried to say something again, but cuss
the luck, | couldn't say nothing, but squeez-
ed her hand, and sighed like . cranky bel
lus.3 RE&43 III t4.if11st5& s1its55a&a >9Ts4ss
sssWe'd got clear cut Of sight Of the others,
and, Kate says .E,Hd sta Yli1f.sssss Is
.Ben, | feel that you are my protector,
md ! believe that :daddy's right when ne
says you are worth all the rest Of the boys
IN the ghborhoodsss ~ Vial !,tR 5sss
"Ben Purtle,,' says !, sthis is a great day
for you,' and made a tremendous effort to
get my mouth Of again, and out it did pop,
sure enough. q7 Z faso s'fHsf5 sd ~,
qi'sKatc,5 says I, trenbling all over, 81
love- you to distraction and no mistake. sPve
loved you long and hard. Ny hearts been
almost broken for two years, and Iwant you
TO shy right straight up and down whether
you are going to have me Or inot?'s Z stif
,as'kate hung down her head, and didR't
ny nothing, bat fels encouraged, tor she
klnder sighed. svsa ssat3s., "a ff.p !. il
"Kate, if you're gwinc to have me, say SO,
Ind II you dou'r want to say 50, jest squeeze
ny hand s,sa 3ndESa sssa hw8 saai4sbnskF
ls"Well, she squeezed my hand right OFF,
Lordy how l did feel. 1 felt like . stream
of warm water or ,sassafras tea sweetened
With molasses was running through nv
oonesi and l jest cotcA her in my arms, ard
Kissed her right in the mouth, and she never
rieds the first time to get looss.p tIy s.gsf.s
Ben was so overcome with this narration
# his courtship, that . pause for breath was
szast4 ssr q
j ssIIow long after that,p sald l, sbssSre
'ou were married 20 ta+tssas ,.Fs,s5sff
cold Sammy was mighty proud, and 70
vas the old woman, about. the thing, aud
70 married next fall after the muscadine
csape.n sSf sesssil5aasa xsAs2@ sifg
.Do yoa think yoar ~ifsiovss yoa ysta''
asked. ,5g ..,.f.sg.. !. .st ftE
aWhy, Lordy,, YES. ]. She thinks I'm ths.
,urtiest and bcsi felier in the world. I tell
'ou, sir, iss no nss a talking; iifslstin airs
md qnalisy dressing, and colenes4 and such
hings ain'. = 3 gwine n lg9 down With aensi,, nsii,|
IA yoman may say Whist she likes "a,
on without danger Of getting knocked down
o. Il. She can take 1 sijoose after dinner,
Ihils tsr hashsmd' has 70 10 TO work. She
m arsss herself ID mad saaL Aidy caiicoeeI
Or > dollar, which her husband has to earn
I'd fork oyer. She en- 70 forth il ,thaI
tfssts without being Invited 70 tfcas Il |
~ eo1ssA A6dse. She saa paint III. fkSsI
81 - too spalsy sad hons Il &c too seds@-l