Columbia Democrat and Bloomsburg general advertiser. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1850-1866, 1858-01-23
spicy Cofrespondence.-A True WIFE,

We are assured by friend who is per-
sonally cognizant of what he states, that
the following piquant correspondence is
genuine. A gentleman, whose business
calls him good deal from homo, is accus-
toned to give the custody of ! is corrospon'
dence to his wife, an intelligent lady, who,
in obedience to instructions, opens all
letters that come in her husband S absence (;
answers such Of them as she can, like
confidential clerk, and forwards the rest
to her liege lord, at such places as he may
have designated at his departure. During
a recen, absence of her husband the lady
received letter, Of which the following
(omitting names, dates and places is a
true COPY
My Dear Sir@=sI saw fine picture of
you yesterday and fell In love with it, as
| did with the original in W last
winter, when I saw you more than an hour
though l suppose you did not see me
among SO many. fear you will think me
forward IN thus addressing you; but
trust you are as noble and unsuspecting
as you are handsome and brilliant. Per-
haps you would like to know something
about me-your ardent admirer Well,
am not very good at description, but
will say am not married - Though you
are, l am told) My friends tell me |
have not pretty face, but only a good
figure. | am rather petite, have bl.ck
eyes, black hair and dark com, lexinn--
that is, l am what is called "brunette."
l am stopping for few weeks with my
brother.in.law and sister in this town, and
I dearly wish you would meet me there
before / return to W. At any
rate do not fail to write me at least few
words to tell me wbt ther | shall ever see
you again, and know you more intimately.
Forgive my boldness and believe ME,
Your friend -.
To this letter the wife, who, by the bye,
has not the least knowledge of the person
to whom she was writing, made the following
answer
| Madamoisegle Y"ur iotter oil the -
inst, addressed 10 MIR. ---, was duly
reuvtved Mr.. -, who is my husband,
directed me, when he left home, some days
ago, to open all his letters, and to answer
any of them that conveniently could. As
you seem to be rather impa tient, l will
answer your letter myself. do not think
your description of yourself will please Mr..
happen to know that he dis
likes black eyes, and hates brunettes most
decidedly. 1t is quite true Gas you seem
TO suppose) that he judges Of woman as he
does Of horses but do not think your
inventory of your points" is complete
omit to mention your height, weight, wind, +,
speed, and here the word is legi BILE. i
Taking your charms at your own estimate,
| doubt whether they will prove sufficiently
attractive to draw him so fr as B
merely for the satisfaction of comparing
them with the schedule. You say you
trust my husband is "unsuspecting." I
think that is his nature, but vet he is used
to drawing infcrences, which are sometimes
as uukind as suspicious. You say you are
unmarried. My advice to you is that you
marry melody, as soon as possible. In
most cases, would not recommend haste /;
but IN yours, am convinced there is truth
in the proverb which speaks of the danger
of delay. Should you be so fortunate as to
get husband (Which may God merciful y
grant } my opinion is that you will consider
any woman, who should write him such q
letter as This of yours, imperiinent, and
perhaps, immodest,
will deliver your note to Mr.. -
when he returns, and also copy of my
reply which am sure he will approve.
am, with as much respect es YOU permit,
Mas, -.
This was the end of Ihe correspondence.
MoraI--Young ladies who write ffectionate
letters 80 married men, should be careful
that the precious missives do not fall into
the hands of their spouses or the amorous
writers may chance to get "morc cuffs thar
; tissesn