Freeman's champion., 1858-03-18

How I Came to Be Married.
BY % RUBY"

1t may be funny, but I've done it.
I've got rib and baby, Shadows
departed-oyster stews, brandy cock
tails, cigar boxes, boot jacks, abscond-
ing shirt buttons, whist and domi-
oes' Shadows present--hoop skirts,
band boxes, ribbons, CATERS, long
stockings, juvenile dresses, tin trum-
pets, little willow chairs, cradles, bibs
pap, sugar teats, paregoric, hive syr-
up, castor oil, Godfrey's cordial,
soothing syrup, rhubarb, SIENNA, salts,
squillS and doctors bills. Shadows
iuture-more nine pound babies,
more hive syrup, etc., etc. I'll Just
tell you how | got caught. l was al
most the darndest, most tea custard
bashful fellow you ever did see it
wax kinder in my line to be taken
with tho shakes every time I saw a
pretty gal approaching me, and I'd
cross the street any time rather than
face one 'twasn't because didn't
like the critters, for if was behind
the fence, looking through knot
holc, | couldn't look at one long
enough! Well, my sister Lib gave
aparty one night. and stayed away
from home because | was too bashful
toface the music. Ihuhg around the
house whistlihg cold Dan Tucker =
dancing to keep my feet warm, watch
ing the heads bobbing up and down
behind the window curtains, and
wishing the laundering party would
break up SO | could get to my room,
l smoked up bunch of cigars, and
as it was getting late and mighty un-
comfortable, concluded to shin up
the door post. No sooner said than
done, and | soon put myself snug in
bed. . "Now," says /, "let her rip
Dance till your wind gives out!"-
And cuddling under the quilts, Nor.
pheus grabbed me. / was dreaming
Of soft-shell crabs and stewed tripe,
and was having a good time, when
somebody knocked at the door aud
woke nae up. crap" again, | laid
low. "Rap, rap, rapl' Then
heard awhispering, and Iknew there
was q whole raft of girls outside
Rap, rap!" Then Lib sings out,
"Jack, are you in there ?" Eyes"
says I. Then came q roar of laugh
tor. Let us in" says she. 81
won't, ,"says /, "cnn't you lot fol
low aloue?" care you a-b.d o
says she. ~ am" says /, "Gc,
npl' says she, ~ won't" say,
I. Then came another laugh. BY
thunder I began to get riled. "Gci
out, you pctlicoated tcarccrows !"
cried; "can't you get a beau with
out hauling fellow out Of bed?
won't go home with you--I won't
40 You may clear out r And, throw
ing Q boot at the door, l felt better
But, presently, oh! mortal buttons
] heard still, small voice, very mucl
like sister Lbs, and It said, Jack
you'll have to getup, for all the girls
things are in there |" Oh, Lord
what a pickle Think of Inc iii bed
al covered with shawls, mufs, bon
nets and cloalss, ndtwcnty girls out
side the door, waiting toget in'i |
| had stopped to think | should hay
pancaked ON the spot. Az it was.
rolled ont among tho bonnst-wire AM
ribbons in a hurry.Y rlSmash !" wen
the millinery in every direction. K
hadto dressin the tlafkI-forthem wa
acrack in the door, and the girls viii
pcep--and itheway4 9hmbed abou
was death on straw hatsi The ecritic
almomcnt camo. ] opened the door
and found myself light among tn
women. Oh, my lcghomgi erie
one "My dear, darling, winter vel
vetF,crics another, and they pitcho
in-Tthey pulled ma tbisway that
boxed my cars and ons bright-eye,