The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1858-05-15
Timothy Titoomb'a Letters To Young
Married People.
NUMBKR THREE-
From the Springfield Republican.

society. There are qualifications Of this claim
which concern y'u particularly, and, 80 /
speak 10 you about them. Your husband
labors all dSy-eSery day--and during the
waking hours, between the conclusion Of his
labor at night and its commencement In the
morning, he must have recreation of some
kinds and here comes in your duty. Ifyou
do not make hia home pleasant, 40 thai the
lfulfillment of his duty to you shall be a sweet
pleasure TO him, you cannot hope for much
Of hia company. What his nature Graves il
will haye---must have. lie cannot be a slave
all the ume--a slave 10 his work by day and
a slave To you by night lie must have
hours Of freedoms and happy are you II, Of
his own choice, he take the enjoyment you
offer in the place Of anything which the out
side world has TO give. suppose there are
few man who, when their work Is over, and
their supper eaten, do not have a desire to go
down town "to meet man." or visit "the
post-oiheo." There IL natural desire in
every heart TO have, every day. an hour Of
social ireedom--a few minutes, at least, Of
walk in the open air and contact with the
minds Of other men. This is entirely natu-
raj aud necessary thing and you should en-
courage rather than seek TO prevent il, unless
your husband is inclined to visit bad places,
and associate with bad companions.
Precisely here ia a dangerous point for both
husband and wife. The wife has been alone
during the day, and thinks that her husband
ought to spend the whole evening with her.
The husband has been confined TO his labor,
and longs for an hoor of freedom in what
ever direction his feet may choose TO wander.
Perhaps the wife thinks he has no business
to wander at all, aud that his cuSto M is to
wander too widely and too long. She com
plains. and becomes exaeting She cannot
bear TO have her husband out of her sight for
moment, after he quits his work. Now, if
there is anything in all this word that will
make husband hare his wife, il is constant
attempt on her part TO monopolize all his
leisure time and all his society, TO eurtail his
freedom, and n tendency to be forever iretting
his ears with the statement that "she is moth
ling, of course" that he "does not care any
thing about her." and that he dislikcs his
home. Treatment like this will just as GER
tainly rouse all the perverseness in mans
nature as spark viii ignite gaBpowdeF. Ia-
justice and inconsiderateness will not go down,
especially when administered by mans
companion. lie knows he loves his home
and that he needs aud has a right TO certain
amount Of his time, away from home and If
ne be treated as If ne possessed no such neoes-
silY aud right, he will soon learn to be all
that his wife represents nm TO tBts=f tr4sii sas
that mnu wdnts very careful handling. You
must remember that he can owe no duty TO
you which does not involve n duty from you
You have the charge Of the home, and If you
expect him 10 spend portion, or all of his
evening in il, you must make it attractive.
If you expect man, MS a matter of duty, to
give any considerable amount Of time to your
society, daily, through long series of years,
YOU are TO see that that society is worth
something TO him. Where are your accom-
plishmcnts2 Where are your books ? Where
are your subjects Of conversation
But let us take up this question separately;
how shnll wife make her home pleasant and
her society a,,-ac::vra This is n short ques-
ton, but full answer would make book.
l can only touch a few points. In the first
place she should never indulge in hult-hnd-
ing III man has learned to expect that he
will invariably be found fault with by his
wife, on his return home, and that the bur
I den or her words wifi be complaint, nc hus
absolutely no pleasure 10 anticipate aHa #eae
] sl..
plants or fault-fnding wife,ls as sweet as
| Beethoven's heavenliest symphony. There
IL but one alternative for hus sband in such
n case either 10 steel himself against COM
plants, or be narrowed up by them and made
snappish and waspish. They never produce
good effect, under any circumstances what
ever. There should always be pleasant
word and look ready for him who returns
| from the tolls of the day, wearied with earn
! ing the recessaries of the family. IL pretty
pair of slippers lie before the fire, ready for
his feet, SO much the better. Then, again,
the desire TO be pleasing in person should
never leave a wife for day. The husband
who comes home at night, and finds his wife
dressed TO receive hin,-dressed neatly and
tastefully, because she wishes TO be pleasant
| to his eyes, cannot, unless he be a. brute,
neglect her or slight her graceful Pains-tak-
7 ing. 1t is compliment to him. IL displays
a desire TO maintain the charms which first
attracted him, and to keep intact the silken
bonds which her tasteful girlhood had fasten-
cd to his fancy.
| / have seen things managed very different
| " ON this. have known an undressed
head OF borrid hair worn oil day long, be-
cause nobody but the husband would see it.
have seen breakfast dresses with sugar plan
tations on them Of very respectable size, and
most disagreeable sickness. I'm short, l