The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1858-02-24
MISCELLANEOUS.
Swallowing an Oyster Alive.

II JOHN .. Ro3S, (soLiTAIAr.)
At late hour the other night, the door
Of an cyster-house in our city was thrust
open, and in stalked hero from the Suck.
er State. He was quite six feet high,spare,
somewhat stopped, with a hungry, ianx.
ious countenancs, and his hands pushed
clear down to the bottom of his bresches
pockets. His outer covering was hard to
define, but after surveying it minutely,w we
came to the conclusion that his suit had
been made in his boyhood, Of dingy
yellow linsey.wolsey, and that, having
sprouted up with astonishing rapidity, he
had been forced to piece it out, with all
collors, in order to keep pace with his body.
In spite Of all his exertions, however, be
had fallen in arrears about foot of the
necessary length, and consequently stuck
that far through his insxprsssibleu. His
crop Of hair was surmounted by the fun.
nisst little seal.skin cap Imaginable. AT.
ter taking position, be INDUCED in long
stare at the man opening the bivalves, and
slowly Observation-Disclosures ?"
"Yes, sir" responded the attentive op.
orator, "and fine ones they are, too
"Well, I've heard of listers afore," says
he, but this is the fust time I've seed 'em
and pre.hap' I'll know what thar made
Of afore l get out of town."
Having expressed this desperate inten-
ton, he cautiously approached the plate,
and scrutinized the uncased shell fish, with
a gravity and interest which would have
done honor to the most illustrious searcher
into the hidden mysteries of nature. At
length he began to scliloquiza-the Difficult.
ty Of getting them out, and how queer they
looked when out.
.-" never seen any thin hold on So
takes an amazin' site of screwin, hoss, to
get them out, and aint they slick and slip
ry when they does Gomez Smooth as an
eel! I've good mind to give that feller
lodgin, jist to realize the effects, as uncle
jess used to say about Specialization"
"Well, sir" was the reply, down with
two bits, and you can have dozen"
1.-TWO bits w exclaimed the Sucker now
come, that's stickin' it on rite strong, hoss
for listers. A dozen on 'em aiut nothin
to chicken, and there's no gettin' more'n
a picsyune apiece for them. I've only re.
allied fOrty-fve picayuuss on my first ven.
ture to St. Louis. I'll tell you what. III
gin you two chickens for dozen, if you'll
conclude to deal"
A wag, who was standing by, indulgine
in dozen, winked to the attendant tc
shell out, and the offer was accepted.
Now mind" repeated the Sucker, "al
fair-two chickens tor a dozen-you're Q
witness, mister" turning the same tims
to the wag none of your tricks, for ",
heard that your city fellows are mighty
slip'ry coons
The bargain being fairly understood oul
Sucker squared himself for the onset de-
iberately put of his ssal.skin, tucked W
his sleeves, and fork in hand, awaited tn,
appearance Of Ne. /. 1t came--he saw
and quickly it was boltsd A moment,
dreadful pause ensusd. The wag droppsS
his knife and fork, and with look of min
gled amazement and horror-somethin,
akin to Shakspeare's Hamlet on seeing hi
daddys ghost--while be burst into the OF
clamation
Swallowed alive, az I'm Christian =
Our Sucker hero had opened his moutl
with pleasure moment before but nov
1t stood open. Fear-a horrid dread 0
he didn't know what = consciousness tina
all wasn't right, and ignorant of the exten
Of the wrong-the uncertainty of the mo
ment was terrible. Urged to desperatio,
he faltered out