Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1858-08-12
Docsticks ON LaEer. Reer.

Doesticks has been trying to ascer-
tain by experiment whether orinot La
ger is Intoxicating, and below Is given,
in his own language, the result:
'.The first glass, seemed like sour
strong beer with good deal Of water in
it; the next was not quite so sour, aud
the next one tasted as though the orr
ginal beer had been stronger and they
did not dilute it SO much. Then we
rested, and as had, drank three pints
already, was willing to quit, but Dam
| phool assured me Lager isn't intoxica-
ting so after little settling down I
thought could hold another glassanda
ordered it; it was brought ,bya yenRs
lady who seemed to have four eyes and
two noses pointing in different dfreet'
tions, which unusual effect was undoutbjta
edIy caused ;byrspake;, 9aT
Then I thought I'd have, a glass rof
Lager, Ga liquid known to. most Of tho
inhabitants of 'Manhattan.) Twas
brought by a girl SO pretty that Iiims
mediately ordered two more, and kept
her waiting for the chang each time SO,
could look at her-then We had. some
cheese full of holes; then we took some
Lager to fill up the holes; and then @e
took a sausage; Damphool suggaBtedt
that the sausage was made of dog; so,
we had some Lager to drown the dog,
then we had some sardines; Damphool
said it would be cruel to Keep the fishes
without supply of the liquid elemente
SO we had some Lager for the fishes to-
swim in; then We had some bretzels;
DamphooI said the brett1zeafs we're 80
crooked that they wo lid not lpJatK Close,
so we had some Lager to fll"upi the
chinks; then 1 made a speecho to itheI
company; short but to the point, and
received with applaqse-it was sddresssa
cd to the whole crowd and was TO
this effect, Gentlemen, let's have some
Lager? f.H-'~ aoH 30 N Il
By this time my friends had by seme
mysterious process become mysteriously
multiplied, and there were fifty Dam.
phools, and they all excepted the 'ihvi.
tation, and we had the Lager thafS
were forty glasses and'in7tryihgi ts1make
the circuit of the room and touch my
glass to every one Of theirs I fell oyer a
table which very impertinently stepped
before me, and as 1 went down I knock!
ed a small Dutchman into the. 7eorhef2
then L fell over him, then 1 partiallyre-
covered myself and sat on his. head, then
[ got mp and stepped on his stomach,
then I demanded an instant apology,
then called for six glasses of lager,
and the girl brought them all in Eone
hand. /. tried to take them all in ono
hand, but broke three, then 1 tried to
drink out of the remaining three all at
once, and in SO doing I took an inyol--
untary showerbath, then tried to pay
for the whole fifty glasses and the DAM
age with dime and a Spanish quarter,
and demanded that he should give my
change in gold dollars, there seemed to
be some difficulty about this, and ifnI
hadn't known that Lager isn't intoxica,
ting l should have thought the man was
drunk"
Ba AS Deacon A-,on an extreme
ly cold morning in old times, was riding
by the house of his neighboriB 1.-The
latter was chopping wood The usuEh
situations were exchanged, the seyeriF
ty of the weather briefly discussed, and
the horscman made demonstrations of
passing on, when his neighbor delain-
ed him with: ..... ..,. It, -,
Don't be in a hurry, deacon. Wouldn't
you like glass of good old Jamica, this
morning?' 1 -. =. NJ 'ia asi:.G
''Thank you, kindly" said the old
gentleman, at the same time beginning
to dismount with all the deliberation
becoming a deacon, ~ don't care if I
DO" 80 +' 70! .aE -7Asy
cab, don't trouble yourself. to get
off deacon - said the neiUh bor. GI mere-