Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1858-11-18
DiD NIIk 1t M.

Speaking IL watermelous, reminds one vf
an suecio,v Il old | Dele Luke J.. A. ,r,,r-
tr.c pile of animated duty, vho rrvulrcI ID.
an extensive Orbit away dosu IA tLc suur,
South His name was .u.glr t. a..
throughout that section, bNNins bccuu,, ce,g.
bratsd Tor his success IN raising n m4luuI u,
Of melons, aud u SURPRISING mag rtraia
AZ - usual for the proprietor. 4 ~. .....
~ sllureneuts he vas .utlcrt-i :, .rrt.
annoyance by the iucur-ious OF Etbt,pi,r
mSrsuders, wGo would proceed uu.rT cover
Of night TO the premise. aud ststra,, ,.r.
cicut to saiiStc the l'uriuc. uftle.r. ar..r..
tIvcLcss The old mag sls Lulata.r,+
tisl to such marGuvr.s
He therefore resolved upon AZ c1-sl.,.t
20 obvuie such IDys.Ious 81 lg-rrg.t. A..
c1TjIusly he furnished hiu-,!t w..h.f....
AMI when the curtain. II uisht Nrrs IraSr
about our void BE- located himsr!T M, ..,
ceAlrI corner Il hi, patch, auI rrrs.-.l
Tor grand Demonstration. ga the urr,,I %
Of their saiJts IL wa- not long before fa.
old man was a1muuI.hoi e tLcira.rr....
hy the low sound e siealthy s'rr- ir i.,
vicinity s"ou their dusky h,urc. wrrs
visible upon the fcuce, auI IA . moment tl,
melons were finding ar,ommrIai,oa.
their wallots. Now wnsa a~ful ira. ~
sbeut TO bc euacted Uncle Luke r,r.ri
the fuse. 10 Ll> shoul Ter hi. Gus ,r,,
medically ,-itcLed, upon the irigg,r.aaI-
What think you, reader, W.. the result Of
that old mans Indi.crctIon 2 Cau yuu not
discover within the rauge Of mtutal vi.iot.
the forms II those unfortunate. wrlr,sIr,
ia gore, and glspiug ia the last Agon.c. u,
death sm happy 90 inform YOU II les.
To- Ftul
'hsshed iu the pan, which made Ju.ts au
erroneous impression upon QUO Of toe ia
truders who exclaimed
Boys 1t hCA!,ao!
Yes, says Uncle Luxe. and Iv The
memory VI those me!ous. 1t w.!l t4l4.l ii.
Teci!y
IL requires no extraordinary stretch Of
the Imagination to concluis that th,v did
not iArry TO test the v-rac,ty u tie old
man prediction, but brought 10 rcqui,iilau
their utmost powers of iocom oti,u 10 other
words 'everlastingly billed. 1t Is uatuTa! 10
suppose that this sufheed TO eud the auua,
ance Of the knAves but such wa. not ti.
case their depredAtIons were dIscoutIuue!
only for . short season aud then reurW.l -
UIele Luke va. desperate. lie resolved
on another effort to secure himself aga...t
their eneroachmeDts.
lie armed himself and loc1'ed as on the
previous occasion, quietly awaited their ar
TIval but unfortunately they did not Al.
pear until very late Lour Of the n'ght ard
the old man, fAtIgued with watcLiyC. tad
been touched by the mystic wand VI Nor
pheus. aud was now reyellIng amid the cor.
geous msIes Of dresmlAHd IL appear. on
this occasion their object was 10 ouIly A
feast IN the field therefore providing them
selves With the most tempting melon thty
could discover, they procced.i 20 s~arrl
stump upon winch 10 burst II which metz.
cd Is usually resorted 10 IA the absence of ,
knife, aud thus gaining access TO the int.ri
or, the eatable portion Is conveyed ty "a.
lures spoon the digits, TO the palate o..
serving dark object IN the corner of {
field, believing 1t the desired stump thew
proceeded 20 II, elevated the melon IA ib,
air aud then brought It down with smash
Bgt What Was their epuSt-rnation 90 koI.li
log the supposed stump ru-h up b, the root.
aud dart away, like meteor ~ ths dt.t.uc,
TIE fact Wa they bad trOkcl il over thc
head II poor Uncle Luke
The thieves we've not di.ot.rv in frD.t,t
Ing ia" cx1mrls of 'Lc .stuur the, cir
cum.tautiaily sloped Whether tbs oG.rr-.
were ever repeated or ut am ur,r.s q,
say positively bat one thIr. 1. certain. tn
Gle Luke never subjected hus,lf again t1
the liability OF being construed irto a.,gmt
aud " you wish bim - stiark th. most ut
yielding words 10 the Vocabulary a. a.,
toughest sentence IN the Eugh.l language
just ask bun h7ic ht' b~a1 is.H