The day book. [volume] (Norfolk, Va.) 1857-1867, 1858-02-04

ptS Htl'tle, anu HIS leu leg over his TlSnI
knee at one and the same time"
Il think our company isis full"
Yaas-I thought they'd be full when
saw EN- swilling Seth Smiths rum
ya%s, very full!''
Dye s'pose you can do the land
lord i'll the Lady of Lyons?'"
Yes. sir-ee-Ive done all the land
lords in Camden"
Aspirant masn't engaged.
The following letter was sent to his
son at college:
my dear son,-I write to send you
two pairs of my old brooches, that you
may have new coat made out Of them.
Also some new socks which your moth
CT has knit, by cutting down some of
mine. Your mother sends you ten dol
lars without my knowledge, and for fear
you would not use it wisely have kept
back half. and only send you five. Your
mother and I arc well, except that your
sister has got the measles. which we think
would spread among the other girls, If
Tom had not had them before, and he is
TIE only one left | hope you will do
honor to my teachings; if not, you are an
ass, and your mother and myself are your
affectionate parents"
A few days ago, an Irishman, in Con-
cert, N. H.. was told by his employer to
cut up sled, which had been frozen in
to the ice. Pat took his axe, and did as
he was ordered, cutting up the sled COM
pletely, which was nearly new and had
been ia use but a short time. The own
er, of course, complained Of Pat as
fool, but if he only wanted him to cut
around the sled, in order to take it out
of the ice, why didn't he tell him so?
Shutter, the comedian, was travelling
in coach with an old gentleman, when
the vehicle was stopped by a highway
man. The cid man pretended to be asleep.
Shutter laughed at the robber, telling him
that his uncle, the gentleman asleep
their, never allowed him but few shil-
lings. The consequence was that the old
man was robbed Of every cent, and Shut
ter escaped.
Two gentlemen disputed so loudly on
the subject of banking, that they awoke
big dog which had been sleeping on the
hearth before them, and he barked most
furiously. An old gentleman present,
who had been quietly slipping his wine
while the disputants were talking. gave
the dog a kick, and exclaimed
Hold your tongue, you brute +. You
know no more about it than they don
Why are two men trcading on each
others heel quite far enough apart? Re
cause hey haze oen' feet betwocn Mem-to
be sure
If you want to buy fast horses, what
islands should you go to Don't know.
Why, to the GaHip a-goes!
A freuchman went into Bob Parker's
and asked for a glass of brandy-and-
water, mot made too fortnight
fortnight" calculated the bar-keeper,
don't you wish it now?'
Now, yes sure, but not made too fort
night-not too weak.
A SILVER ODoR.-Jones is getting lux
urous. The other day he purchased
bottle of the Balm of Thousand Flow
ers. We met him shortly after, and
asked him how he liked it, remarkin2
at the same time, that it ought to smell
sweet.
ooh, very sweet" said Jones with
wry face.
'What does it smell strongest of p we
asked.
WELL replied the joker, it smells
strongest, | should say, offifty (s) cents =
Shooting some few years since with
some friend, captain formerly belong
ing to the 4th Dragon Guards was of
the party. We lost sight of him for some
time. When he joined us he was asked
what he had been doing; he replied:
I'm crossing the brook, | trod on
pebble, lost my equilibrium, and FELL
One Of the servants, hearing Of bis
loss, went back. Beng questioned as
to the cause Of absence, his answer was
~ heard the captain say he had lost
his equilibrium, and went back to look
for it. | searched q long time, but IVES
unable to find it,
"Nevcr speak unless you have some
thing to say, and leave off when you are
DONE" This Was the rule, says the New
York Press, followed by an old gentle
man, who upon being asked to address
religious meeting some twenty years
ago, thus spoke:
my friends, I go about CAarlestown,
Maiden, Cambridge, and other towns,
selling 1neal;--to some | sell a bushel,
and to some I sell q peck. Some say one
thing, and some another; world without
end. A-mcn.'