Cleveland morning leader. [volume] (Cleveland [Ohio]) 1854-1865, 1858-10-06
FUm Haper's Magazine
SALLY JONES.


SALLY JONES.
Nathan Jones, a small farmer in our vicinity,
had daughter, as pretty and buxom a lass as
ever thumped buttermiik in a churn; and
whether you saw her carrying eggs TO market
on the tlea-bitten mare, or helping TO stir apple
butter at a boiling frolic, or making a long
reach at quilting, or sitting demurely in the
log meeting house on a Sunday-in short
wherever you saw her, she always looked as
pretty, if not prettier, than she had ever done
before.
Notwithstanding her attractions it viii scarce
ly be credited that Sally had reached the ma
ture age Of eighteen without 4 suitor. Admir-
ers, nay, lovers, she had b. the score and
whenever liquor was convenient, many a sober
youth got drunk because of her, and many a
signing bachelor would willingly have given
his riding horse, or even a share in Dads farm
| for her.
There was indeed, no lack of will on their
part; the difficulty was in mastering up eour-
age 10 make the proposal. Mankind, seemed,
for once, to be impressed with 4 proper sense
/ for its own unwOrthiness.
Now, far be 1t from any one to infer from this
that Sally was prudish or unapproaehable. On
the contrary, she was as good humored, as
comely, and disposed to be as loving as she was
loyable.
Poor Sally it is a great misfortune for a
| girl 10 be too handsome; almost as great as to
be too ugly.
There she was, sociable and warm-hearled as
a pigeon, amiable as a turtle dove, looking soft
encouragement, as plainly as maiden mOdesty
permitted, to her bashful company of admirers,
who dwaddled about hertwiddling their thumbs,
biting the bark of their riding switches, and
playing a number of other sheepish tricks, but
never saying a word to the purpose.
Sally was entering on her nineteenth year,
when she was one day heard TO observe that
men were the meanest, slowest, cOwardliest,
or'nariest creatures; in short, good for nothing
but to lay under an apple tree with their
mouths open, and wait until the apple dropped
into them
This observation was circulated from mouth
to mouth, and, like the riddle Of the Sphinx
was deeply pOndered by Sslly's lovers. If any
of them had wit enough to solve its meaning,
certainly no one had pluck enough to prove the
answer.
Not of this poor-spirted crowd was Sam
Bates, a stalwart youth, who stood, in winter,
/ six feet two inches in his stockings, I'm sum
mer he didn't wear any.l
Sam was not handsome, in the ordinary sense
of the term He was freckled, had big mouth
usually bought number fourteen and a hal
because they fitted him better than sevens ol
eights.
Sam was a wagon maker by profession. own
ed fourishing shop, and several hundred acres
of unimproved land, which secured to him the
reputation of Independence. For the rest, b,
was a registering blade, good rider, a cracs
shot with rifle, and an accomplished fiddler
Bold 10 tho confines of inpudenee, he was
great favorite Of the fair, with heart as BIZ
as his foot, and fist like sledge hammer, he
was the ACKNOWLEDGED cock Of the walk, ant
pTeur eherelisr of the pine Hill country.
Mr.. Bates met Sally Jones for the first tim,
at quilting and at sixty seconds after sight h
had determined to court her. he sat besid
her as she stitched, and even had the audacit,
to squeeze her hand under the quilt Truth j
mighty, and must be told.
Although Sally did resent the impertinene
by a stick with her needle, she was not half 8
indignant as she ought to have been. / dar
not say she was pleased, but perhaps l shOut
not be far from the truth if / did. It is unde
niable that the more gentle and modest wO
man is. the more she admires courage an
boldness in the other sex.
Sally blushed every time her eyes met thos
of her new beaux, aud that was as often a
she looked up.
As for Sam the longer he gazed the deepe
he sunk in the mire of love, and by the end {
= the evening his heart and his confidence wei
5 both completely overwhelmed.
, As he undertook to see Sally home, he fe
numbness in his joints that was entirely new
him, and when he tried to make known his ser
S timents as he had previously determined,
9 found his heart was so swelled up that it close
his throat and he couldn't utter a word.
"What a darned sneak was :" groaned San
q as he turned that night on his sleepless pillow
b "What's come over me, that can't speak m
n mind to pretty gal without a chokin'l"
Lord but she is too pretty to live on this airtl
{ Well, I'm goin' to church with her to morrow
h aud if don't TX matters afore 90 back, the
e drat me-"
1t is probable Sam Bates had never hearker
4 ed 10 the story of "Rasselas, Prince of Abys
: MA" or he would have been less credulOJ
= while thus listening to the whispers of fame,
e and less ready to take it for granted that Il
deficiencies of the day would be supplied
the tomorrow.
, Tomorrow came, and in due time Mr.. Bate
/ tricked off in 4 bran new twelve dollar suit
!. Jews clothes, was on his way to meeting b
side the beautiful Sally His horse, bedeck,
;, with new saddle with brass stirrups, looked
u gay as his master.
,f As they rode up to the meeting house doc
Sam could not forbear casting a triumphai
- glance at the crowd Of Sallys adOrers tn
! stood round filled with modification and en'
, at his successful audacity.
J. Sally's face was roseate with pleasure al
. blshfulness.
y "Stop minute, now, Miss Sally; I'll Just G
s, down and lift ye off,
rs Sam essayeJ to dismOunt, but in 50 dOir
found that both feet were hOpelessly fast in Il
stirrups His face swelled and Redeemed like
turkey gObblers In vain he twisted and kic
l. ed; the crowd was exPectant; Sally was wal
T ing.
h aGosh darn the steerup ~ exclaimed Sar
endeavOring to break the feathers with his de
. peTate kick
T. At this unwonted exclamation Sally look
up, and saw her beau's predicament.
Thr bystanders began TO snicker. Sally VI
grieved and indignant.
Bouncing out of her saddle, in twinkliI
she handed her entraPped escort stone.
'Here, Sammy, chunk your foot out wi
this"
o, Sally Jones, into what error did 20
heart betray you, TO offer this untimely civil
in the presence of the assembled county,
mirers, rivals and all
Sam took the stone and struck frantic bio
at the pertinaeious stirrup, but missing his al
ig it fell with crushing force upon a soft corn tn
al had come from his wearing tight boots.
20 whoa, darn ye," cried he, losing all cOntr
of himself, and threatening to beat his horse
brains out with the stone.
.sDonif STRIKE the critter SAMMY" SAID o