Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1858-06-17
SAN STAG KPOLE,S ADVENTURE.
DY SIMON sUGGs, JR.

You never heard tell of my molasscs
candy adventure. did you, Squire?" said
Stackpole to mo, when L called at his
house to take the census of his family. /
shook my head and he proceeded Il
speculate it was raythcr wonderful affair,
and if Sally there wont tell you it, you
| would appreciate it certain. was courtin
Sally at the time, and sin luv up to
my eyes. But her old daddy was opposed
to me out and out. And he was stupen-
dous man-the crossest, uglicst old var
ment that ever wore spcctacles; and / have
often wondered how Sally could be such a
charming little creature, with such a crus-
ty old fellow for father. She was mag
na bonam gal sure, at that time; a littlo ia
dcd now, you see, but that's to be expect
ed. Beauty is only skin deep, but ugliness
goes to the bone
"Well. one day went to town and
bought whole heap of fancy doings, rib
bons, beads, goose grease for the hair, ct
cetera and SO FORTH, | was determined to
coax her up. and putting my purchase
snugly in a bundle, locomotcd toward
her daddy's house, true as rifle. jsal
"It was rather late when Iarriv, and old
Scraggs was bilin' sum mo,asses candy
for Sally to peddle the ex day-tharc
bein' a show in town-SIlly and her
nanny having retired. W aa s9as
1.-The fust thing l done, however, arter
enterin' and old Scrags had stared at me
while was to sit right down in a pau of hot
merlasscs, he'dput Oh cheer to cool, which
made me jump up and howl amazin'! but
as he didn't see the accident, squatteel on
Saly's handbook which contained llcr s un-
day bonnct--not noticin' went to
| rubbing ike-s -sixty-sixi We'll, arter I'd
sot there a spell. groaning for myself and
wonderin how 1nuch damage I'd done, the
| old man gave me another such terrible
look and said:
Sam Stackpolc, what have you come
here arter-say?" a9
"Mr. Scraggs," ses /, not DARN to stir
for fear he'd discover my prcdicimcnt
"Ive como here ON very Important busi-
ness, (Oh, Lordy!s how that merlasscs
smartedD and if you'll keep your ,ebenc-
zcr about five minutes, III endeavor to in
form you with that degree of accuracy that
l'lE SO prominently aud copiously devcl-
oped. i4
''The old fellow didn't understand that
ar powerful language, and in corse he
didn't say nothin'. and SO | kept as easily
as possibly could and went on: -
perhaps" says l. you've noticed that
| have been pain numerous attcnshuns to
your daughter, and am gratified to stait
with infinite popularity Now, if you'll
give Sally to me, I'll vote for you for Gov
ernor, aud leave'thc country if you aint G.
lected,'' s.aasf aly- .asl !.
"Well, after I'd delivered myself in that
ar benevolent style, what do you think the
old codger's srcply was? Why instead Of
saying take Sally, and welcome, he actu-
ally pointd to the door and told me to
scatter! i YpwI got out Of patience, then,
sure. and didn't care then what occurred
If Sallys bonnet was smashed.
"Mr. Scrags," ses /, 'I should be hap
py to obiige you. but the fact is, sat
down here and cant leave, nohow, unless
you cut a.hole in my trowsers.''s .,.ts..-s
"Whcn the old man seed how was
stuck fast as set, he Jest catched up the
hull pot of hot canty off the FIRE, and cmpt-
ied it all over my head and shoulders, true
as am alive! Jehu! how the stuff made
me cavort and holler! but was so mad
| grabbed great COB and let him have it
biff@right tween the eyes fep
take that, = sczs /, "you old
fapeared piece of deformity!" and sthen
l started for thszaoor--direct. L jest got il
open. really tor dart when old Mrs-sSeraggs,
burst into . loud laugh and Sally spoke for.
the fust time - = = Ds'sst =
e"sam Stackpole.'' sez she, zi'hoEz.s7
My bandbox and your pantaloons are san !
pexedf' - .sa.s3s, - yast,.lsar -
''Jerusalem!'' sez. /. and l 1leaped 1.
must been awful skeered. for landed at
lest, twenty feet outside the flouse aud ran
like praisis hre. L never hooked behind
ine till next mofnin', and wlsh>I did. the
kiser eft6s La'sd6ox was sstickiag TO. ry'
trousers.
"That was my merIasscs candy adven-.
'ture, Squire right hot work it was. But 1.
msrfied Sally at last The old man gave
in after awhile and now you can recon alp
the family iasyour sinsus. as you. please .,
= ~ 80 = = - -------.. =
What Is beauty without soap.