The Perrysburg journal. [volume] (Perrysburg, Ohio) 1853-1861, 1858-01-21
For the Journal,
A autobiography of Lizzie Lonely.

Old Maid" was read by me with much interest,
for.I am beginning to consider myself one of
those detestable creatures, though have, not
long since passed to the western side Of thirty,
and feel as young as eyer Indeed, | am not old
then why call me sol Thirty years o that
is long time when think of it in the future,
but alas how quickly have flown those thirty
years Of my life, and to how little purpose
How little have accomplished by my feeble
efforts to relieve suffering 10 improve my INTEL
lect, and to benefit community. Though the
same earnest desire to rise in the scale of intel
ligence, and virtue, and usefulness, has ever
haunted, though never inspired me, yet ex
pect ever to remain in obscurity, Ignorance, and
comparative uselessness-kept there by wicked
custom, and my own imperfect nature.
Now--after having revealed to you the pro-
found secret of my having passed thirty-(a|
story which time has taken good care to write
upon my features,) perhaps you would like to
know why am an " old maid" My reasons
are very different from Aunt Mary's. And my
circumstances, too, are different. l have neither
home, or servants, neither have ever been en-
gaged.' Yet believe her condition to be less
enviable than my own, For while her heart is
blighted by Inconsistency, mine yet remains un
withered and unbroken.
Very early in life, by some means yet un-
known to me, | was impressed with the idea
that early marriages are decidedly wrong. That
twenty five years was short time enough to pre-
pare and educate one for the great responsible
ties of marriage. That few fashionable ac-
complishments, or the knowledge Of house keep
| ing in its various branches or thorough book
education, or all of them combined, was not
sufficient qualification but that there should be
also good knowledge of human nature and a
thorough discipline of the mind /; which teaches
the most useful, though the most rare of sciences
Self Government With such ideas as these,
you may be assured that did no,, as soon as
euteree my "teens' or before, begin to think of
marriage: but of acquiring the qualifications
which deemed indispensable for that station
To get husband, was not the aim of my exis
tence. But Of course l always liked to have
a beau or in other words, liked the society of
gentlemen--was one of those select few, who
believed that the social intercourse of the sexes,
has powerful tendency to the refinement and
elevation of both.
From the age Of fifteen TO eighteen, | received
the almost constsnt attention of one of my
classmates. He was six years my senior, in
dustrious, noble and generous, used no intoxica-
ting drinks, tobacco, or profane language; and
| could not then--ueither can now, see tha the
had fault And wondered why one So good
and intelligent should seek the society of one SO
/ r. l. all hat "a
but all this while, did not dream that his regard
for me was anything but friendship. l very
highly priced his intelligent society, but had no
idea thai it was becoming necessary to my hap
piness, until at length he solicited my hand in
marriage. | could give no reasons for rejecting
1 his suit, only that was too young; had not
the qualifications to become wife. He said
though he had hoped that all early day would
be named for our union, yet if l would promise
to be his at some future time, he would wait ten
years if it should be my wish. But-no--l could
not promise--such an engagement had been the
farthest from my thoughts. Well-then | need,
not promse--and yet he would wait--and hope.
To this would not consent. did not know
what my mind would be, years from that time
him to leave me, and seek another for felt that
it would be unjust to keep him in suspense for
eight or ten years, and then perhaps crush his
long cherished hopes. After arriving at these
sage conclusions began more fully to realizs
how dear he was to me. But still could
consen. to nothing else, for was not worthy
of him, and might never be. At length he left
fo nhay nd
sible, forget the love he had cherished for me-
| was comfored by the assurance of having
acted conscientiously toward him, and went on
with my studies as before. A few months after
he was married to one of my Intimate friends
ofmy own age and name. They are now living
very happily together, and many pleasant
visit have had with them in their quiet and
beautiful home. And strange as it may SEEM
it is nevertheless true, that have regretted
my decision.
But have not yet told you the reasons why
| am an old maid. Only be patient, and will
help you to guess why, i'll should fail to tell you
Confessions of affection, and proposals o
marriage, have never been very rare with me-
But few of them are worthy of notice, being
made, many of them, by those addicted to pro
: family, drinking, gambling tobacco using OIL
some other vice.
, At the age of twenty had an offer tha
1 was considered by my friends decidedly unob,
= jectionable, and quite desirable. 1t was by one
, of wealth, talent, and respectability, and good
: habits and Of my own age. The letters wer,
, interesting-and SO was his conversation.
had great friendship and high respect for him
; but did not love him. Perhaps he might have
won my love, had he not, as last resort to OBJ
4 tain me, pictured to me his wealth. and the lux
ury and ease in which he would place me. This
disgusted me, and rejected him at once which
very much disnleased NV friends And man,