Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1858-05-27
LETTER TO THE CORONER.
Tuesday, Nav IS, 49,

Tuesday, May IS, 1858.
(Three months since the happicst day
of my life.)
To avoid all trouble and simplify your
duty, l have to state that | have taken
my own life by a pistol shot, nc one be-
ing privy to my doing SO or to my de-
sign.
My reason for this act consists in no
remorsc for anything L have done or
left undonc; from no pccuuiary pressure.
from no inability or fear OF inability to
support myself, from no weak fear ot
public opinion, least of all of public
L always have done, utterly disregard
and despise; from no embarrassment,
arising from any Indebtedness.
l have abundance of Unemployment, and
the prospect of much more-had the
people ofNewark, whom l forgive from
the bottom of my heart, suffered me to
live harmlessly and happy in my hum
BILE home, and to amend my life where
it was in error, in a new sphere which l
was honestly prepared to do, l might
have paid off all my debts, and lived
many years among you, an honest, use
full and happy man. My debts will be
1t was not, however, SO to be, my
blood, and the guilt of it is upon those
women and men of Newark, who first
sowed suspicion, distrust and d~issension
between myself and the sweetest crea-
ture God ever gave, and man took away
from an unhappy sinner. My own un-
happy temper did the rest.
The reason for this act, then, is single.
My life, long, sad, and solitary and
weary, and without an object, has been
utterly hopeless, hateful and insurporta-
BILE.
A hope had been kindlcd in my heart
again-my home had got a light in it
brighter than sunshine; my lite had a
purpose; 1 loved her unutterably. was
immeasurably happy; all has been dash
ed down, all is lost torever-home, hope,
sunshine, she. Let life go, likewise,
since henceforth, it is but another word
for torture.
I would not deny falsely one fault Of
which l am conscious, especially at this
last moment; I would not deny that L
have erred towards her whom this day
shows l have love more than life.
l did err, but it was hastily, in rash
act or rash word, never, SO may God deal
with me, in thought or i~nsinuation. !
never had "a word with her about money
matters, nor cared, nor scarcely knew
whether she had or had not money. l
never laid a hand or finger on her in
wrath in my life. What l said or did
wrongfully l repented on the instant.
and havc endeavorcd to atone for ever
since. l atone for it this day.
think, | hope, l deserve more pity
than blame; but l know 1 shall not find
it, least of all in Newark. L can say
truly, with my last breath, I never
wronged a man or woma in my life
with generalization, or failed to ask par.
don and atone when L could do so. /
never bore malice in my life; l repent
of all my faults and sins, and have en-
Geavored to amend them. l die in per-
feet peace and charity with all men. l
beg forgiveness ofall those against whom
1 have sinned; l forgive all those who
have sinned against me; even the woman
who called at my own house and set my
wife's thoughts first against me. In
proof of it, l am sure 1 know her, but
do not name her, 1 beg God to forgive
me as l forgive all my enemies. 1 die
in perfect faith and trust liz my Redeem
er, and believe that in him 1 shall have
eternal life
Henry WILLIAM HERBEKT. !