Meigs County telegraph. [volume] (Pomeroy [Ohio]) 1848-1859, 1858-08-24
Tlt-8its

ESE"W What is that, which when brought
to table, is cut, but never tasted? Cards.
E:S When will the queen be a soldier?
When she is granny dear, (Grenadier.)
EY'Why are temperance societies bar
TO friendship? Because they prevenC
shaking hands.
EzF"A New Zealand chief maintained
that he had good title TO his land, be-
cause he had eaten the former owner.
DH-How could you make thin child
fat? Well, just pitch him out of win
dow. and he will come down plump.
CAPE Con NO ILLISors.-Vc Vegetation is
So scarce at Cape Cod, Mass, that two
mullen stalks and hucklehcrry bush are
called grove.
GS~An old gentleman being asked what
he wished for dinner, replied: An appe-
tite, good company, something TO eat and
:. clean napkin
Ey-What is the difference between a
cat and a document Que has paws at
the end of its claws, and the otker pauses
at the end Of it's clauses.
E1-We have ut last discovered the
reason gentlemen Of the present day stoop
SO ; it is of account of their being con
stantly 6cm upon pleasure.
R1-We heard it remarked that when
David hurled the stone At Goliah the latter
must have been surprised, as such a thing
never entered his head before
EE- Doctor Charles. Wilson has written
a volume of some hundred pages TO ex-
plain the PatAOi0yy of drunkenness. Di-
oyencs defines it'in two sylabIes-z;g gag :
Gsy-I always sing to please myself, -
said gentleman, who WAS humniny u
tune in company. "1'hen YOU are not at
AL difficult to please" said lady who sat
reXt to him.
Ax- lh" more man accomplishcs tie
more he may. An active tool never grows
rusty. \ ou always tnd those men the
most forward to do good, or to improve the
times and manners, always busy.
Es~"Pompey, what am dat goes when
de wagon goes, stops when de wagon stops;
itam no use to de wagon, yet do WA gon
can't go without it .
II CUBS dat up, Glenn
why de noise, oh course"
EH- Solomon, | fear You have been for
ge ling me, said bright-eyed girl to her
lover, the other day.
"Yes, Sue" said slow Sol, excusng
himself, II have been for getting you these
two years
NEW METHOD OF RAlsISG TIE PRCE
or WHEAT.-The Madison WISCONSIN
Patriot" announces that the Democracy Y
are going to ignore all divisions, take thcil
stand on the Cincinnati platform, and "re-
store general prosperity. and fair price
for WAetto III" farmers of Wiscom>m."
G-V- An old lady said her husband was
fond Of peaches, and that was his only
ihu; "Fault, madame % said one chow
can YOU call that n fault - "Why, be-
cause there are different ways Of eating
them, sir Ny husband takes them in the
form of brandy"
EyWe once heard Of a rich man, who
was badly injured by being run over. Il
isn't the accident said he, THAT mind
tlIat isn't the thing, but the idea Of being
run over by an internal swill-cart make.
ME mad
Rg- Cash helps along courting ANA
zingly. Astonishing what balls and sup
pers, bracelets, Glove Of IL bonnet" sur
burban rides and pic-nics will do toward
expanding the feminine heart, and gettin!
lnto the fathers house.
ET- An author went to see his own pla'
performed, and expressed his surprise to
friend on the thinness Of he house.
81 suppose" he added, lit is all OWN;
20 the war"
NO" replied his friend, Il think
must [ leowiug to the piece"
PRIDE or ANCESTRY There was muc
sound truth in the speech of "A country la
To an iler who boasted his descent from
an ancient family
$50 much the worse for you" said tn
pcasant, "as we plow men say-the olde
the seed the worse the crop"
FERY SPICY-SEP"Ys IN A PIcHLE.-
Smiley who is reading in foreign pape
~, ,a,a.ount ola recent sharp action in India
turus TO us and says Good, this was
silt" affair The Scpoys were m@Sterc
in force. but the English advancing, PEP
peril them so hotly that they rapidly re
trea'eA. anu though the victors pursued
they could not c0t.h 9P with theuI."