New Orleans daily crescent. [volume] ([New Orleans, La.]) 1851-1866, 1858-01-11
Did he Histe TT

There are some geninses o. liberty 'swhose won
derful achievements ID creating fun for the million
rarely 4 ever find chrenicer. A shining Ugh
{his name Is one Of those marvellous affairs that are
SO complicated In their structure that you no sooner
get to his termination than you forget the beeinnng
and Torrance Is genuine conseilas.eq so.er LEI
and keeps his weather side occular In the condition
that be does the door Of bis shanty slightly open for
the chances. Terrances co1ntenance IS as brilliant
sunfpwer Ia high wind His nose lifts itself up like
TORCH 10 illuminate his shed roof over head over
which his hair crseps like stocks nowadays with
g downward tendency Torrance, by profession Is
an express man-expresses brick, By hod and ladder
up grade slow, down grade empty and swift. Lately
however Torrance has abandoned all association with
the brick trade, and arnuses himself by acting a.
light porter to well known dry goods house In Mar
ket street He is also used BY the firm as an occa-
sional collector Of small jobbing debts about town,
but are grieved to say that bis dunnng cxcur-
sioHs he generally contrived TO collect more mud on
bis boots than money in his pockets. One day the
ginteman from Arm was sent TO collect bin Of
i" twenty four dollars from certain Mr.. K.
Mr. k-- resides in Rittenhouse square, and Is
noted for the msgnifcence Of the interior ixins
OF his parlors. +a
Torrance started forth. The rain was coming down
as II the entire heavens were emptyng themselves.
Streets slushy, sloppy and half aoat Torrance ele
waited dilapidated green cotton umbrella, and
plunged ahead the water apparently falling much
more copiously through the umbrella than anywhere
rived at the summit Of the marble steps at the door
Of ks mansion, he and his umbrella looked, in
point OF soaking, like Samese twins. Torrance gave
the belhknob an awful pull. The door was opened
by servant.
/" Is Mr. K in ~
He Is dining--vhat dye want" said the ser
want not very respectfully.
Torrance made no reply, save an indistnct allusion
to heBgards y but pushed back the servant closed
the umbrella, and walked into the parIor the afore
sid green cotton" dripping small Niagara over
the carpet Servant rushed to inform Mr.. K OF the
horrible Irishman's sntrse. K dropped knife and
fork and rushed to the pafior where he beheld the
impertubable Torrance walking up and down the
gorgeous premises, examining the pictures his hands
being behind him, trailing the umbrella, which had
dpped all sorts Of paddles all over the carpet. K
You Irish rascal, what are you about? what are
you doing in here n shouted K, f
III We PLACE sur, kim after twenty-foor dollars
an I'm about waiting for it,
Go out of here instantly, and take that internal
umbrella, and dirty boots with you. Did If you
havnt ruined my four hundred dollar carpet-take
yourself OFF, s
~ want thin twutyfour dollars, an be the powers
9, pothooks diyil step will stir till ye pay me,
ously,
If you don't 60 out of this I'll throw you out n
said k rushing up and making a plunge at Ter
RANGES greasy coat collar.
"0f with yees," yelled Torrance, throwing his
soaked hat upon the carpet, and raising the green
cotton to charge baysnet position, "Stan Of We
stuck up blaggard ye wild yer wies old calico dress
about yer heesl Stan off, or by the howly ears of
the blissid Virgin I'll shove this umbrella down yer
durty throat an histe t'
Histeing an umbrella in his throat was too much
for k-- Torrance was forcibly elected from the
premises by five kitchen helps and two policemen.
Torrance on the pavement, looking at the closed
door, II liver pat my eye on that feller tarin
ages, won't make him think he's double bristed
busted bank, coming down in blottin' paper para.
shoot-wont I2n