Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1858-06-22
MIR. RIifkin,s Baby.

The first baby was a great institution. A
soon as he came into this breathing world, a
the late W. Shakespeare has it, he took colnman'
in our house. Everything was subservient t.
him. The baby was the balance wheel tha
regulated everything. He regulated the tenn
perature, he regulated the food, he regulated tn
servants, he regulated me. For the first siI
months of that precious existence, he had M
ND on an average six times night. MIR. Bit
kins," says my wife, "bring that light here, DO
the baby looks strangely; lm so afraid 1t viii
have a fit!" OF course the lamp was brought
and of course the baby lay sucking his fist like
little white bear, as he was. "Mr. Blifkins,
said my wife, 81 think feel draught of air
wish you would get up and see if the window i
not open little, because baby might get sick.
Nothing was the matter with the window, as
knew very we'll "Mr. Blitkins," says my wife
(iust as was going to sleep again. that lamp
as you have placed it, shines directly in the ba
by's eyes-strange that you have no more con
sideration." l arranged the light and went to
bed again. Just as was dropping to sleep a
gain, 'Mr. Blifkins," says my wife, did YOU
think to buy that broma to-day for the baby =
"My dear" said /, twill you do me the injustice
to believe that | could overlook matter SO es
sential to the comfort of that inestimable child z
She apologized very handsomely, but made hel
anxiety the scape goat. Iforgave her, and with
ont saving word more to her, addressed my
self to sleep. "Mr. Blifkins" said my wife
shaking me, "you must not snore so; you vii
wake the baby" 'Jest so-jest so, !" said |, hal
asleep, thinking l was Scion Shinge. "Mr
BHfkins," said my wife, will you get up, anc
hand me the warm Cruel from the nurse lamI
for baby ?-the dear child if it wasn't for hi:
mother don't know what he would do. do"
can you sleep so, Mr.. Blifkins9" II suspect, my
dear" SAID |, 'that it is because am tired
"Oh, it's very we'll for you men to talk abou
being tired" said my wife; 81 don't know wha
YOU would say if you had to toll and drudge like
a poor woman with baby" | tried to sootl
her by telling her she had no patience at all, ant
got ND for the bosset. Having aided in answer
ING the baby's requirements, stepped into bee
again with the hope of sleeping. "Mr. Bit
kins," said she in louder key, / said nothing
"Oh dear!" said that nestimable woman, II
great apparent anguish, show can man, Wht
has arrived at the honor of a live baby OF hi
own. sleep, when he don't know that the dea
creature viii live till morning?" remained 81
lent, and, after while deeming that Mrs. Blit
kins had gone to sleep, / stretched my limbs To-
repose. How long slept don't know, but
was awakened by furious job in the forehead
by some sharp instrument. | started up, ant
Mrs. Blifkins was sitting up in the bed, adjust
ing some portion of the baby's dress. She had
in state of semi.somnolence, mistaken my hea'
for the pillow, which she customarily used for
nocturnal pin.cushion. protested against sue!
treatment in somewhat round terms, pointing t
several perforations in my forehead. She toll
me should willingly bear such tritiing thing
for the sake of the baby. insisted upon 1t tina
didn't think my duty as parent to that youn
immortol required the surrender OF my forehea
for a pin.cushion. This one of many night
passed in this way. The truth was, that bab
was what every other mans first baby is, al
autocrat-absolute and unlimited. Such wa
the story of Bhfkins, as he related it to US tn
other day. 1t is little exaggerated picture
almost every mans experience.-Saturday E''
| Gazette