The Tiffin tribune. [volume] (Tiffin, Ohio) 1848-1859, 1858-01-29
0D6g unA GnGs

A Vermont Yankee has invented a
pump BY which horses aud oows pump
iheir own drinking water.
Wanted irumpe. for an ear Of corn.
The blind man shouldn't attempt TO
catch heas.
"some love to roam DER the dark seas
foam, as tho crab said TO the nautilus.
wanied-speclacles for one who turns
. blind eye on an affair.
Il is an extraordinary fact that when
people come to what is commonly called
high words, they generally use low Ian
goage.
wanted-an ode for the long
why Is tired man like an old umbrel-
la3 Because he's used up.
Waated--notes for pipe Of tobacco.
"Meet me by moonlight alone" /" as the
tom-cat said 70 his sweet. heart upon the
tiles.
We know n man, the tones Of whose
voice are so silvery. that his words pass
for quarter dollars.
wmted-small legs Of pork Tor smo-
kers' room.
There is a shoemaker in Lynn whose
soul is bound up in leather
wantod-ohairs Tor pulpit cushions.
Small talk Is tho small change Of life
there is no getting on without IL.
Wanied-bullets cast in hair. moles.
How could you make a thin child ht?
BY throwing IL out Of the window, il
would come down plump.
Wantod--moal 10 mix with rye-mouths.
The best way to keep boys from apples,
is--to plant pears.
During oonvalescenco every patient Is
sure to be doing we'll.
wanted--iron mallots for great toe
nails.
A sheaf from tho shock Of an earth
quake must be a rare curiosity.
wantod--two large halls for pair Of
spectacles.
Cold soup is the index Of a bad dinner.
A bang at the door is tho index Of a
storm.
A toast after dinner, is the index Of
buttor.
Cold mOa. is, frequently. the index Of
pudding,
Wanted frying pan for a pair of
skates,
a favor is, more frequently, the index
Of ingratitudo,
wpntad---.wo heavy loads for pair of
drawers.
Can the mar, who blinks at a question.
take an answer
The man who received m impression
through the press, got his hand badly
damaged.
An old widow, when her pastor said to
her
"God has not deserted you in your old
age"
She replied
"No, sir, l have a good appetite still"
"My dear" said a smiling spouse to
her other half, "l'm going shopping to-
day, and want little change"
"Poohl" responded tho ungallant man,
that would be no change at ALL you 70 a
shopping every day"
A thrifty wife wonders why men can't
manage to do something useful Mightn't
they as wei amuse themselves smoking |
hams as cigars.
A lady asked = veteran which rifle car
ried the maximum distance?
The old chap answered.
"The MiHaie mum"
Long words, like long dresses, frc
quently hide something wrong about the
understanding.
Married men are less troubled with the
rheumatism than arc bachelors. Dr..
Francis assigns as the reagon--they sleep
warmer.
AS sure as we arc in love, we pardon
more faults in love than friendship,
Annexation and war-thats true,
every word Of it," said a pert old maid;
no sooner do you get married than you
begin to fight"
"S4e here, my friend, you are drunk"
"To be sure am, and have been for three
years, You see. my brother and | are on
temperance missionI lie lectures, aud
set frightful examplo"
ADvAErA0E oF CHEWING ToBAoco,--
When on the Fejee Island coast. Com,
Wilkes. Of the Exploring Expedition. fell
In with an "intelligent savage" from