The Perrysburg journal. [volume] (Perrysburg, Ohio) 1853-1861, 1858-01-14

lhy Boiu th"' POI lseucu owo. ulln llu.u-luu - o"''
WISE REPLIES .Thales was one of the
/" wise men OF Greece. A sophist wishing
TO puzzle him with difficult questions, he au
swered them all without the least hesitation,
as follows.
What 10 the oldJSt of all things? God, be-
cause he has always existed,
What is the most JedmifM? The world,
hecause il is the work of God.
What il the gyCotest of all things Space,
because il contains all that has been created.
What is the most constant of all things
Hope because it still remains in man, after he
has lost every thing elso.
What is the best of all things? Virtue,
because without it nothing is good.
What is the qaichcst of all things Thought,
because in less than moment it can fly to
the end of tho universe.
What is the strongest? Necessity, which
makes men face all 20 dangers of life.
What is the easiest? To give advice.
: Whatis the most dbicah? To know your
self
What is the wisesi? Time, for it discovers
all things
Why do old maids wear mittens? To
keep the chaps off.
Why is lady's hair like the latest news?
Because, in the morning it is found in the pa
pers.
Why is acowardly soldier like butter p
Because he is sure to run when exposed to
fire.
The tobacco chewer is said to be like a
goose in Dutch oven-always on spit.
--"Nat, what are you leaning over that
empty cask. forl" "pm mourning over
departed SPIRITS"
Patrick O'FIathorty said his wife was
very ungratelul, for "whin | married her,
she hadn't rag till her hack, and now she s
covered with 'em.
An honest lady when told of her hus-
bands death, exclaimed: We'll, do declare,
our troubles never come alone 1t amt a
woek since l lost my old hen, and now Mr..
Hooper has gone, too--poor mau -
DANIEL A DEAD tIEAp.-Speaking of lions
that was an "idea" of the hayd-Shell preach
en- who was discoursiug Of Daniel in the den
oe lions,--
"Thero he sot all night looking at the
show for nothing. Ii didn't cost him cent?"
PLAIN ENGLrsu FOR UNNEcEssARy LATIN
q" Did the Defendant approach the plaintiffs
Seriatim" inquired an attorney in a case OF
assault aud battery the other day. No sir
&c" was the r,ply, che went at EN- with q
poker
uuaRy Up.-Two ladies' were having some
words cn the roadside, when the daughter
of one of them popped her head out Of the
! door. and cried out
Hurry, mother, and call her thief before
she calls you one.'
IRrsH GALLANrRy.---A young lady had hel
parasol carried away by gust of wind
II was picked up by an honest son of tn,
a. Emerald Isle," who returned it with tn,
compliments
"Faith, Miss. nm if yc was as sthrong q,
ye'rehlndsom' b i,bers hurricane ,ouldn'I
have snatched it from ye,"
"Firs. class, Oriental Philosophy, stand up
i phihbits, what is hEs -
" Life couesta of money, boss, and I
fashionable wife"
Next, what is death 80
"A peymaster, who settles every body
! debts, and gives the ton6s1ones as receipt
in full of all demands"
i. "What is poverty ?"
"The reward Of merit genius general,
receives from Discriminating public"
"What is fame 2"
"a six line puff in newspaper willis liv
ing. and your fortune to your enemies whe
! dead"
{. "Don't rob yourself" as the farmer sal
10 the lawyer who was ealt''s h'm hare