Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1858-08-26

infanticide.
coSuSDRuM.-why is it dangerous to
walk in woods in early springs Because
the trees -ate ,shootir 9. -, -..sss-,.
9very few of Us are fully conscious Of
our own defects. The hunchbsck does not
see the hump on his own shoulders.
6THow have fhe public been dispusing,
orl,hese twenty years, which of the two is
greatest, Schiller or myself. Let them 20
and be thankfu! that they have two suck
fellows 10 dispute about.- Goethe.
GIL wish to procure the Biography Of
Pollock" said a student 10 the bookseller
at the corner of Water-street, Boston,
"We have il NOT, sir," was the reply. "Csn
you inform. me where can obtain rr' -~I
cannot, sir; but dare say Soo silf find il
IN the Course Of Time.'n -,.t-.e
sJG5-Cols Fofney celebrates the FIRST anai-
Sersary of his press. which was started on
the first Monday in August, 1857. He an
nounces himself n Independent Democrat
and beasts that his SUCCESS has been IN
sxampled, the circulation Of his paper at
this time being over twenty thousand.
- WHYs AND WHA1s.-Why is the letter
D like sailor!--Because It follows the G.
What is the difference between an auction
and sea-sickness!--OIe 10 the sale OF
effects, and the other the effects Of . sail.
Why does the cook make more noise thsn
the bell!-Because one makes din, but
the other dinner. Ep
JoRs CHishMAx's E.-A newly arrived
John Chinsmsn, in Shasta, California, pdr-
chased somsice recently, and finding il
verJ wet. laid it out to dry in tie sun! On
going to look for it again he found that It
had disappeared. and forthwith accused the
whole Chinese neighborhood Of lsreery. A
general riot was the consequence.
! TIE FIRST pfap-HEAp -sWho was the
frs, man recorded in l>Gosy who did not
payl" said The elder Matthews, as he was
handisg theatrical order to friend
" why, really, never gave j, thought"
replied the friend. Why Joseph. Of eourse,'
said Matthews; "did nut HE brothers put
him liz the pit for notaias'"
era Knderhook shoemaker once prom
ised 10 have pair Of hoots finished on .
specified day for ex-prssidsnt Van Bursn,
but tailed to have them done when csiled
for. IN the meantime the ex-ptesidsnt
started for Eurspe, and was gonS three
years. Epon his.retura he eallod for his
boots, and wss told they were finished.
with the exception Of freeing ous.
ora Qua ker had his broad -hrimmed hai
blown of by the wind, and chased It Tor
long time with fruit.ess and very ridieuloas
real. AT last, seeing roguish. booking boy
laughing at his disaster. he sad TO hin!
"Art tnee profsne lad." -a
The youugster replied that he sometimes
did little in that way. ss4. ~ z-
.Then,",. said be. taking half dollar
from bis pocket, "thes may damn yonder
fleeing tie fitv ces,s WORTH"
Dorse rHE PaItsr.-An lfishman made q e
sudden rush in,o Druggists shop, tack
from his pocket soda.wster bottle, illsdto
ibe brim with some pure liquor, and hand
lns j, across the coeateb exrlsued:--
" "There, doctor. snuf that, will you" The
doctor did a. he was directed. and proncunc-
ed the liquid 10 be genuine whisky.--
sThsnk you. deetor," ssid the hshasn;
i, ms again. il you plsse." Thedoc-
tor again did Is directed, and ssked wbst hs
meant. "Och, then" said Pat. "if you win
have il, the priest told me no, to drink any
OF this unless got il from the 3, etor. So
here's your health. and the priests health.