True American. [volume] (Steubenville [Ohio]) 1855-1861, 1858-12-08
From the Nashville Patriot.
City Of WashingtOn-Daguerreo

Clty OF Wasnngton-Uaguerreotypeo'
Washington City, the capital Of the ma
lion, the home, during term.time, Of the
President, (also, the temporary residence
of five hundred and ten men who conf
IDENTIFY expect to be President aud the
seat Of the United States Gas Works,
technically called Congress- is situated
in the District of Columbia, a territory
covering horizontal surface Of len miles
square, and extending perpendicularly all
the way through. As every place in The
city is from three-quarters Of a mile to a
mile and three quarters from everywhere
else, Washington is called in Fourth Of
July urations, and that style Of literature
generally, ",he city of magnificent dis
tances." II derives lis nSme of Washing
ton from celebrated continental officer,
who built the pine huts and forged his
way through hard winter at Valley
Forge, and made Cornwalls acknowledge
the corn at York Town. The principal
public buildings Of the city, are the Pat.
en-! Office. where the Yankees are granted
the exclusive right to manufacture and
sell india.rubber babyjumpers, double
geared rat-traps, Railways Ready Relief
which Is warranted to relieve you of
your money, if nothing else-and other
valuable inventions of the age; the Cen
eral Post Office, where they superintend
the mismanagement Of the various mail
routes Of the country; the National Trea.
sury, an institution Of learning which has
graduated more men in the art Of swind.
ling the Goyernmen. than any ten similar
or diSsimilar institutions in the world ;
and the City Jail, which is the only pub
lie building in Washington which is real.
ly devoted 10 honest purposes, and that is
devoted TO no purpose at all, both the
permanent and temporary residents of the
city being too deeply engaged in their
own rascalilies 10 think Of furnishing other
people for theirs.
There are two monuments in Washing
tOn-one of red granite erected 10 the
memory Of Smithson, at his own expense;
and monument to the folly, penurious,
ness and gratitude ofthe American people,
The latter is about sixty feet high, with
upward though hopeless expectations Of
five or six hundred feet. 1t is commonly
called the Washington or National mon.
ument. Gen. Taylor caugh, his death in
1850, at the laying Of the corner stone Of
this structure. 1t is hardly probable tha,
any of, his successors will perish at The
laying of the cap stone. 1t is more than
probable that Presidents will be done
away with at least six weeks before tha
event arrives.
The imports Of Washington consist.
principally Of Office seekers and pickpock
+ cts, (both of which are frequently com
bined in one) and fast women, who indi
l rectly make half the laws that are put
through Congress. Its exports are dis
: appointed office seekers and whiskey.-
, The latter is generally bottled in members
Of Congress for transportation.
Taking it altogether, Washington is ar
exceedingly hard place. The public mel
there are exceedingly honest and uprigh
however, that is, till they 60 home ant
turn against the Administration, when o
course, they become, like Stephen A
Douglas and John w. Forney, the mos
: consummate scoundrels unhung. W.
d have the authority Of a number of Admin
istration newspapers for saying so. Du
ring the sitting Of Congress though, innu
merable murders and robberies are com
i mitted in the city but as everybod
e there is above suspicion, and wouldn'
/ hurt hair of your head, nor take tn
smallest coin from the treasury under tn
. most favorable circumstances, the perpe
!, traitors invariably escape detection. I'm
" der these benign auspices, it is no wonde
a that it cannot, or has not, been said Q
+ Washington. as was recently said of
IS one horse town in Kentucky, that if, {
:, the last day, Gabriel should happen I
" light there first, the resurrection would b
indefinitely postponed, for some one Of tn
d inhabitants would swindle him out of h
| horn before he could make single too