Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1858-09-10

guiIt-cbaryed scui hes entered its M skers pres
enee. Yet ere corruption lay its fell hand upon
me, must leave to that world, where in the
Pienntude OF briiliancy L once so brightly
shone, record Of my sins-s monument by
which 1T may remember one Of its most de,
ludcd children
When a fairy child sporting by my mothers
knee, could she bat have raised the veil Of my
future state on earth, and seen the wretch
should have one day become, would she not
have shuddered at the picture, and in the full
ness ct her mother 3 love have killed her child,
rather than haye sent her forth, another victim
10 the passions of sin-fraught world? But
soul Of my departed mother rest in peace, Oh
let il be my comfort here t) think that, in the
blest regions Of the just thou knovest not thy
child's despair No recaliectiens of a by gone
guilt sdumbrated the calm of thy placid brow,
the eyer-burning coat OF remorse was not igni.
ted at thy hearts core. Oh, mother, had but
resembled thee, even now L might be singing
songs Of praise to know my pilgrimage is nearly
done, and that in Heaven we shall meet again.
but no; even as thou vert a saint on earth,
even so wilt thou be n saint within those heay-
enly doors, whence L, thy daughter, shall be
elected, an outcast, a criminal.
1 watched the mournful cortege, as it pro-
ceeded slowly down the avenue, to bear all that
remained of a cherished mother to her last rest
= ing place on earth. / watched IL, and to my
young, as yet un6lasted heart, bitter was the
trial. All was hidden by the trees pressed
scrucifx, her last dear gift to my lips, and
sinking on my knees, prayed. Yes then 1
Ntdared to orer mp prayer, for i was still un-
tainted. Long did l remain deep in grief now
= praying, now weeping, now thinking on the
- past till the sound of approaching footsteps
,roused me from my sad, yet consoling reverie
My father entered. He took mo gently by the
2 4 Rhand-my heart told me whittier he would go;
he led me to my mothers tomb, and together
mOurned and prayed over our beloved dead.
Time on Its swift wing sped quickly along
The pOignancy Of my grief for my mothers
death passed away, and left only the soft sweet
ness OF fond recollection behind. Some new
and earth born sensations took root within my
Joung and guileiess heart Even as the daring
mariner, ventured my all-my earthly hap
piness-in tempest-driven bark the ele-
ments ragged against me. l lost-and from that
hour became an erring and misery-doomed
mortal.
Now, for the first time, shall the words re-
ceIve the key to my after wretchedness
loved-what volumes of despair do those words
convey. what dark and shadowy pictures,
what long, past years pregnant with anguish !
main,
The young viscompts Fabien de ChatiIlon
was the idol OF my worship. His father prop
erty wF.s adjacent to our own, and as chill
dren We had played together bat Fabien had
peer. Tor some years pursuing his studies away
irIm his paternal home When, at last the
COY returned-a mani saw him, but to Law
., ish on him all the love Of which my heart was
capable. Fsbien's talents were the theme of
general conversation Old academicians pro-
phesied Of his future fame; his rich intellect
would one day beam forth to the honor Of
France. As heard these tales Of Fabien's
high abilities, how my heart leaped for joy
how, in the madness of my passion, i antci
pated the time when should feel he was all
my own
Similarity of taste threw me much into the
society Of his sister Alphonsine. We both were
nd at atl n link VII
connected us. For hours would / listen when,
In her sisters pride, she would deseant long
and freely on Fabien's future prospects, and tell
me of his triumphs. That topic | felt was all
my own; for was not the horO Of it he who was
dearer to me than life or fame? But ambition
was the monarch who reigned OmnipOtentwith-
an his widely ranging soul RenOwni glory,
was his cry. and to gods such as these only
would be bow. He had no passion left for me;
with cool Indifference he passed me by. was
beneath his lordly notice. woman stand be-
tween him and his ombition's goal. Prepos-
terous ideai He would sacrifice everything be-
fore his frenzical love for glory. Untaught in
heart history he knew not that / would urge
him on TO deeds worthy Of his noble name, and
witness with delight his great achievements.
He played with my love, tampered with my
warmest feelings, and with mocking smile
spoke to me rs though were the child he once
had known He CALLED my sensitive heart to
the quick, and drove me into fits of mad
jealousy. Jealous. Yes l was jealous of his
wisdom, jealous of his fame; for these he caressed
with the affection my passion told me to appro-
pirate TO myself alone.
Fabien left for Paris. He left me, without
one word of kind farewell, with nothing to
quench the heat of the ever burning FIRE within
any breast. The long, desolate winter passed
slowly-heayily. There was bright hour
looming in the future, in which 1 might anti
eipate the gift Of FsbIen Chatillon's love. As
spring advanced, hints were frequently drop
ped by my father, that he was arranging a mar
risge suited to my rank and beauty. needed
them nOt-I was careless of my future life. Fa-
bien was my only idol, and q charm Of indif-
ference divided Us.
Ny father called me to his study one morn
ing, and announced to me that my mt alone
was wanting 10 complete alliance he
desirous should form. His will was my law,
and, without second thought, L instantly
promised to comply with b $ wishes
''Since your childhood, continued my father,
% have liked on Fabien de Chatillon as your
future husband"
cold tremor passed over my whole frame
g Is he then TO be mine at last 2' was the ques-
tiOn i asked myself, and breathessly awaited
for my father to pass the sentence Of my hap
piness or misery,
'Butthe hope was vain, 4" tOlled like a death
knell through my soul.
. He loves me not?'
" His thoughts soar above earthly loves my
Rachel" said my father kindly, for be saw my
emotion. He pressed my feverish hands in his,
and asked If he should postpone our converse
ton.
No" I answered reSolutely; continue,
but be brief
- IL you have deceived yourself my daugh-
ter, with visions Of wealth, dispel them. You
are Penniless, unless you marry a Chatillon.
The Compte ChatillOn offers you his hand, and
promises to sign over to you those possessions,
which at my death must, under other circum.
stances, revert TO him. Folly and irregular
life have caused me to lose the greatest part of
large fortune, bequeathed me by my father
earthly wants" He paused.
. Fabien's father" / said after a few mo-
ment's silence.
Yes. Rachel, thae,i must be. But he is
not old, scarcely" -
:. II matters not, my father TsIl the Compile