Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1858-09-23
EATON, PREBLE COUNTY, 0 Sept %, 1853.

was scch a clatter that nobody seemed
ter hear me, an the boy cleared like q
niggor. A bunch NV fire crackers was
hove up. an went off under my noze
an l thought best ter draw in my he'd,
an say no more about it, though the air
warn't fit for no livin' sinner ter per-
spire. No wonder the poor creatures
that breathe it cv'ry day hav tergo down
ter the sea shore once in while ter get
out ont.
[ had'n but jest hauled in. my head
when l heerd two men a talk e..:ssrise esii
NV MY bedroom door, ani-F neert; one
Nv 'cm say
I've traced the smell ter this here
door, an I'm bound ter get in" Then
somebody raped.
s'What's wantin'?' says I.
'Onlock the door, an let us come in
about mint, will YEP says somebody
outside.
who be YEP says I, back again tew
en-.
The landlord says enc on 'em, 'let
us in, will ye?'
Dear nc, says I; 4 couldn't think
ont, for l m all in dishybill.'
But We must an a,iU come in an
that soon, tew,' says he, a hittin the
door a pound. as he stopt speakin'
For massy's sake, dew hold on a bit,
says I. What's yer puckcr? Wait till
a poor crectur gets her gownd on, can't
YEP
Wal, be spry about it, then,' says he
So clawcd on my clothes enyhow it
cum handy an opened the door. In they
come, an one on EN- made dive at the
lamp, an did sumtLin' tew it, could ut
make out what.
BE ye the landlorl? says [.
4 amt nobody else, says he.
Wal says !, how much be yc 60
in ter charge me for putin up here a
few days.
sTcw dollars a day says he
'Sho! you amt, tho says L.
'Ye be, tho says he.
what an awful price, says l, never
heerd Nv sech thing.
Can't help that, says he; it's the re-
guiar price NV frst-place houses
4 don't care so much what kind Nv
house put up at, says I, AS l dew
what sort Of vittles git, while L IN in itI
How much should | have ter pay if [
cleared out this morniu?'
'Tew dollars says he.
What tsEa says + I;.A Saea
here hull day
'P'raP5 not, but you've made purity
work with your gas, 4 scontin the house
up in this way, says he, raul sort put
chiky; AN if you had a happened to-
have struck loosifer in the night,
you'd have found yourself blew inter
the middle Nv next week. Its won
der as it was that you was Mt sufrecated
[ did'n know no more what he meant
than the man in the moon, and told him
so; and then he explained to me all
about that queer looking lamp, druv up
agin the wall, ye know, till [ found out
that gas was the kind Nv lie the Bostun
folks use, and when you blow it out, III
you don't stopper it up tight like jug
Of empty rs, it II all spew out over the
top, and make the nastiest kind NV a.
smell you ever did see.
Wal, [ forkcd over the tew dollars,
without any more adcw, an after L d eat
Il cookey, an drunk tumbler Nv water,
l sailed forth ter get look at the city.
Come preshus nigh being knocked inter
pie by runaway hoss scarf by crackers
afore [ got inter the common. Tried
ter find a place ter set down on, but ev-
cry bench was full, SO [ kept traising
around till [ was all tagged out, and felt
ready ter drop.
At last L cum to a tent, with a CRATE
big elephant-a pictur Nv one, 1 mean
a hanging over it, and a man standin
in the opening calling out: Walk
right in, gentlemen, all, only four pence
ii sight; walk in.
L thought perhaps [ might get a,
chance to set down inside the tent; at
any rate 'twould be monstrus site cool
er in there than il nas in the billing sun,
and so says L ter the man: Cant vim
men go i'll tcw?'
Starting says he, 'if they wants ter
see the eiepnant-only fourznence al
sight
So, when had paid him the money,
he passed me right in. [ did feel sort
w trcaked when [ see I was the cnly
woman in the tent Nobody there but a
parcel Of men folks laughing and talking
and carrying On all manner Nv ways. (
xas good mind to turn back rite straight
but [ sort of hated 20 lose my moneys
Huth, and so asked one NV the men
which side Of the tent the elephant was.
'Hooray!' said he, there is woman
"ants ter see the elephant; pass her a
long, pass her along
At that, one hits me a push, and an
other hit me a push, till l cum to a little
sort uv counter, and cute looking
chap, all-killingly dressed, up, standing
behind it. He wore big bouzum- pin,
Stuch in the ends Of his stock, and his
hair was all Nv bristle.
Woman wants to see the elephant,
says two or three OF the men right behind
me.
Then the man behind the counter
handed me glass Nv sumthin that smelt
stronger'n all git out NV sort NV ticker,
and says he: You jest swaller down this
little snitter Nv schccdam kcrchitooate
without stoppin to bite it off, then open
your eyes tight, and if you don't see the
elephant, my name amt Ralph Rattle
trap
NO, you don't, says I, palm of eny of
your log woody pizen on this inlividoo-