Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1858-08-05
.Amusing 8eabing,
SUIT LoVENGooD's VERSION OF
BURNS BULL RIDE.
81, OF TENNESSEE.

Well, George, now while ye're waiten fur
your durn'd fool chain kerriers, I'll tell ye
how Ole Burns flushed that ar onspeakabill
bull ride owe his'n. Ye mind how he got
outen the lane as fast es a hawk kin fly with
the wind, apdef nize an fuss, as kickeu boss
es, an dust, an bees, an thar stingin' counts
for glory, hit wur es glorious a start es ever
man had afore, alters septiug Ole Fills
start agiu Ole Buck. He he'd all the nize an
dust an squealiu an kickiu in the start, an
he had the artful stingiu too, nj onto the
outcum-well, he he'd. And the only way
the ole fellow cud cure the swellin after the
monstrous stingin he got wur to marry a fust-
rate oman, full of game and js es redy es
cold sous. Gin me a bright eyed omar, what
nos the ropes, fur holding thar han agin any
thing in brooches nc odds how they hold
their beds. She'll bring thar nose tn the
bottum owe the tron, an they'll lean it thar
tn rest thar sefs-well they will. I hearn
a Teller once speak a speech that coffin wur
king. He wur an ommodi6ed duced fool,
ar want a man ct all, ur wus tryin to cum
hit over the crowd-wimin am king. just
gin them the issuin out owe what baldface
they think is right for that purpose, and III
jist agree to be chucked he'd fust inter the
ruver when the nush Use am runnin,
eff they don't rule the roast, and coffin ur
money, or good hard sense be - they
won't be no whar eff sot agin an oman. Now
mine this fact, George, cumming es nit does
from the cussedest fool you ever seed. Hits
this; whenever you find a thing ye can't du
yer self, jist set she onto the trail, and eff she
don't du it for yu, I'll bind myself to leave
rot gut alone for one cullinder year-mine,
ole Teller, wun thing; she mus luv yu mon
s~trously, ur yu must pay monstrously, but
efshe says she will, why the things dun did,
But about ole Fatty Burns and his express
bull ride. AFTER they got outen the lane
they struck a piece of timber Ian, and thar
he lost his wepun, the baskit, then he be-
tuck his self to u~nwindin the rope ofen the
bulls hons, and raped hit roun his LET han.
Squire Millses o monstrous fifth cross ole
bull, what hes the Frogy Mountain range
fur his sukit this year, he jist goes whar he
- pleases-an thinks his self some ap-
pies among dried grapes aud simmons
And he happened to be a browsin about 10
this yere woods, an hearing Ole Sock a
bellerin he got mad an tuck hit for a chal-
hinge and a insult tn. So he raked up sum
dirt with his frunt huff and sprinkled hit
over his back; then he dug some more out
en- the bank with his hons and lifted it with
his foot and spread hit over his self, then he
tuck a extra twist ur two in his tail an hlsted
hit strate up in the air; and about this time
felt ready to meet the devil, hon to hon, ct
he come inethe shape of a cow beste. Ole
Sock and his rider cum in site a tarin, and
they smelt each other. Both wer ded game
and.monstrous hot under the collier; so a
big yearth shacklin fte were morally -
f~surtin, BARN a lick owe litenen or a rifle shot
inter wun owe thar curls. Els soon as Ole
Burns seed luther bull, he understood ad-
zactly what wer cunning an when; so he
leaned his self back onto the rope powerfully
till he pulled the stirrup loops tite and fast
ontu his shoes, and he hauled Ole Socks
nose and lip way up atween his eyes by the
ring, sorter like histin a raw hide outen a
vat with hon hook; his face looked like hit
were skinned, Or a ded beef'shed onto a live
bulls body. He wur the wurst looking COW
brute in the face ye ever seed, and, made
his beHerin sound like he had the rates.
But in spite owe all this, Sock steamed ahead
strate towards his inimy. He didn't keer
a single - fur eny thing since his inter
cours with his honey makers an his mlstlhka-
shun in that ar baskit. Ole Burns com
mepced a snatchin brush from the trees, fust
one side then luther es he passed, an a warm
owe them out over the inside owe Sock
histed lip, rite down atween his hons. Is
fast es he wore EN- out he'd snatch more
He's the best man fur using baskits or brush
in an emergency I ever seed. Blazes how
he'd thrive in a bad muskitter country;
they'd never get in sucking distans owe him.
But hit were all hard thrashing wasted
The two bellerin mersheens associated-they
sot thar beds together like two drunk loco
motives wud. When they hit down cum
thar tails, but they histed them agin in a
moment and a shaking of them at the pints,
sorter like they wanted to git the dust outen
the har. The shock fotch Ole Burns outer
the dogwood sadil and onter the neck; but
he crawled back 49, quick, an never
stopped his thrashiug owe em oVer thar heds
and eyes. The next time they mixed they
cum by guess, with thar eyes shot fur fear
of that perpetual moshun brush. Hit just
rained brush we'll mixed with sum ortul
short han cussiu. The Mills BULLS a nifty
smart kritter to be cow beste, an be preclated
adzaetly- Ole Burns power with a handful
owe brush. So while Ole Sock wur
gwine thru a grand charge blind, he tuck a
circumbendibus roun and gin him Marcy's
came on ole Foss, q Dustin hot fire IN the
rear. He jist cum in atween his hind legs
and berried he'd aud hons that onder a full
RIM an q histin Sock iu the rear two foot clar
owe the yearth, and rite then his tail cum
down with a swish, and he wur tuck along
wheel barrow fashun onto his fore laigs mon
strous fast an powerful agin his convenience.
With the smellin aind owe his he'd drawd her
nur ever towards his curl, the brush mer-
sheen still in blast an gitten faster and hard
~, l;. sc ,oora Tho