San Andreas independent., 1858-07-31
FROM ANGELS.
ANGELS, July 23d, 1858.

Mr.. Editor There was a trial here
yesterday, and an honest, sober-sided,
slmple-minded looking SON of "Pike," /"
or "thar-abouts," was one of the princi-
pal witnesses for the People. After be-
ing sworn, and the counsel for the People
had asked him the usual questions about
residence, occupation, &C., he was inter
rupted by the witness thus: Hold on,
Mister, want some warter; I kin alters
talk better, and collect my fakultys bet
ter when | has drunk some warter-
(drlnks.) Thar! that'll do for the pres.
ent. Now, what do you want me to swa,
to?
Counsel for People, want to know
sir, what you know about this case.
Witness-Well, dye see, 1 live down
to Harrys, and we wanted some meat
Harry he went out and killed horg.
Counsel Chair beginning to raise, pet
ulantfy-HoFd on, hold on, we don't want
to know all that.
Witness Ga little riled) We'll, eff you'll L
jest let me go on, know all the hora
story, and I'll tell it true.
Counsel, drawing a long breath, and
settling himself back in his chair)-Well
go on.
Witness-Well, dye see, I lived down
to Harrys; we wanted some meat; Har-
ry he said he'd go out and kill horg, and
so he went out and killed hor-
Counsel, excited-Hold on, hold on
Did you see Harry kill hog?
Witness-No, | never seed him kill
it; seed it after it war killed.
Counsel-What sort of hog was it?
Witness-Well, d 'ye see, it war white
SOW with crop ON one ear, and slit in
the other.
Counsel-WeR, what drd Harry say
about it
Witness he said as how it wal
sow he had bought from the complain
ant; and we dressed it and salted 1t down
and eat it all up; and
Counsel for defendant-Hold on. hold
onr
Witness-No! you hold on
Counsel-Hold on, l say stop.
Witness-No, you stop.
Go on, then, and tell the aohole hog
story, said the defendants counsel, sar-
castically.
Witness-Well, dye see, live down
to Harry's, and we wanted some meat,
and Harry sad as how he'd go out and
kill horg-but I'll take some more war
ter; | kin tork better when drink war
eer, (drinks.) Well, Harry he went out
and killed horg.
Stop, stop! Witness, said defendants
counsel, state what you know, and that
only. Didn't you say THAT you didn't see
defendant kill the hog, and didn't know
whether he killed it or not?
Witness (agitated, confusedly)-You'r re
all right, your heads right sir, yes sir.
No, | never seed him kill horg; he
said he killed the horg, but I don't know.
He said so, though. You're all right,
sir, your heads right. (Roars of laugh
ter from all hands, and the constable could
be seen with his fist in his mouth, rap
ping on the floor and making a sort OF
strangling noise, somewhat resembling
that made by water running into the
neck of bottle
Attorney for the People-Well, Harry
said he killed it, did he?
Witness-Yes, l believe he did, if my
ears sarved me right. Yes, he said so.
Attorney-Well, you say this SOW had
an ear cropped, and a slit in the other?
Witness-Yes, that's what I said
Counsel for defendant, fercely-Were
there any Sits anywhere else sir; any
other marks on this sow?
Witness-No, sir, not that I rekollect,
sir; but you'd better let me go on and
tell ye the whole horg yarn.
Counsel-No, no; we'll cut your story
short, and you'll consume less water, sir.
Attorney forthe People-Now, witness,
go on and tell what else took place after
the killing of the sow?
Witness-Well, we dressed it.
Attorney-Oh, oh, not that, but after
that.
Witness-Well, after that we salted it
down, sir.
Attorney-Oh, no, no, after that.
Witness, with an air of triumph, lean
ing over close to the Attorneys ear-We
oot n nm sir