Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1853-1862, 1858-06-16
LETTER FROM SUI LOvENGo4sD, OF
TENNESSEE.
-. Iune z. lgt8.

Knoxville, June y, 1858.
The Union last received makes me irate, exc eed-
ingly. Fish story !" indeed Very well, SIR. E.,
take care lest you sunder tho lies which have r sn
with our growth and strengthened with cur strength,
for To- these very many years.
veritable historical fact is tinged with light
shade Of mprobablity, by his willful omission of
point stamping the whole as an Indispensable truth
distinctly explained to the incOrrigble E that .
cartilsginous handle boldly sprang from between
the eyes Of the inearcerated, jug bound catfish
Instantly assuming the regular ug-handle curve, it
attached itself again to the back, aft the giils-
Further that upon dissection the roe of the doomed
feb was found to contain, instead Of the ordinary
eggs, about pint Of regular Greene county jugs,
no larger than grain of wheat These seed of
Jugs have been planted in orawdsh clay soil, and
have "cOme up :" and the only question now agita-
ting the jug region is, whether the plants viii bear
catfish or jugs and, if catfish, win they contain
jugs3 or, if jugs, viii they contain whisky? be-
lieve in the catfish theory decidedly, somewhat in
Aueuoed BY the temperance prestige Of that ilk Be
this IS it may, I am greatly exercised and much
refreshed By the perfect GOODNESS which E.
il his disbelief Of the story and that, too, after
offering to fully believe the whole thing, from the
faling.off the log to planting the jug seed, for
consideration, viz one pair Of WILL LowRH's three
dollar boots. Such is the lever moving worlds
Agassis will believe it without The 5ooh-see if be
don'tl may here add that, if the crop proves TO
be catfish, the proprietor Of the Massasoit House
'stakes 'em all :; if jugs they cold TO PREATIcE
Of the Louisville Journal with the right 10 use.
Read the following virbatim copy of an order pre-
sented to cur patient Postmaster the other day:
Mynheer Pos offs
vou no eives he letter for Jacob Stultz to he but
you gifts to save um he no git him never soon git
bot evry one nor eny bodyelse What heve letter, he
here gone so | save letter IN lock you know IL
is goot so save him to me you pays Jacob postage
soon l say PETER VON DYKES
After three careful readings-frst upside down.
then orOssWse and last diagonally-the p NJ. de-
clined any action in the matter, simply remsrking
that he did not believe any such accident hap
pened, and insnuatsd somewhat against the teuonie
theory that lager beer cannot intoxioste.
Whereupon Won Dyken, indignant, started after
stultz, that he might "verify." He steamed away
at a gait indicating hurry and, if all his motions
had been directed 10 one direct course, his rate
must have reached twenty miles per hour How
ever soon two indignant round hairy faces filed he
window-the stultz face inflated with much wrath,
and fearful to behold, while streams of lager beer
mixed with eheWed sour circuit, triekled down the
ines heading at each corner of his mouth. He gave
one huge OniOn-havOred blast, slightly reducing the
facial imitation, and then he spake:
"You pos offs oot-am, he git letter all heap mine
to he gone, he here give i'm everybOdy's pay me
guilders all goOt, cot-am, nix fUrsta-hey."
Thebewildered, bedeviledP NJ. closed the shutters
in their faces and started in hot pursuit of Especial
agent 10 consult the alternative of resigning the
laundering ofdte-Or drowning himself The special
suggested the prOpriety Of his doing both, in view
Of his great prOvOostiOn. 1t is thought by some
that the document might have been an order for
Won Dyken to get stultzs letters in his absence
Truly yours, s. L., of Tenn.