Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1858-03-27
Dunorous.
A Race With O Widow.

Merc.ful Jehosaphat and big onions, what
time I've had with that Widder We char
tered M omnibus for two on Christmas, ard
started. "Widder" said /, where shall we
go to p She blushed, and said she didn't like
to say. l told her she must say.
"Well, Jehuel, it you insist upon il, and
am to have my choice, ! had rather 60 to
church"
what for Widder' said /.
ooh, Jehuel, how can you ask me-"
"Cause | want to know" said l.
"Well-(blushing re6der than beer)-it is
such cold weather now, and the nights are so
awful cold, and oh, b,--Jehuei, l cant
stand it ~
"Oh, pshaw, widder, spit it out what DO
you mean ?"
The widow red She billed riglt over like
quart of milk ON the fire, and burst out
| with
IF you can't understand me, you're heart
less brute, so you are"
H old your horses" said ! What's all
! this about? ] am not brute, nor never was :;
and if mau called me that Id boot him.
sure"
And then billed right over, and unbuttoned
my coat collar to keep NE from Dustin of my
buttons. The wilder saw was going to ex-
| plodo, or else collapse my wind. pipe, and she
! 1ung her arms round my neck, put her lips
to mine, and cooled right down.
| Jehuel, denr" said she, in an insinivatin'
way, and voice as sweet as u hand organ,
| |" Jehuel, honey, wanted to go to church to
get mar-no / cant say it all you finish the
word, Jehuel, sweet"
"What word, ?"
"Oh, you stupid Jehuel, dear. | mean
word married, love"
Married wdder :" said |, "did you mean
that -
Indeed I did, Jehuel love"
Look here marin, my name isn't Jehucl
Love, nor Jehuel Dear, nor Geeuel Sweet
I'd have you know. And | won't get mar.
rled TO nobody but one and you are not the
she"
Oh, pewter pennies, but didn't she rave
She made one dash at me, lodged, and she
went butt up against the upper end Of thI
omnibus. Crack went her comb, and smasl
went that bran new bonnet that didn't buy
for her, and down she went with her face il
the straw. But in moment she rose again
and made one more dash al me. | droppe,
she went over me and butted the doer 0
the omnibus. The strap broke and out sh
went-her gaiter boots higher than her hea,
as she struck the pavement.
"Drye on" yelled TO the driver.
Woman overheard ~ cried passing sa
lor.
stop that White Coat-breach of pre-
mise-reward- -Herald--publish.' shrieke
J the wdder, in tones of mortal agony, Will
, tears of blood streamed from her beautfl
pug nose,
"Drive on drive on" ! shouted
. "Where to o. asked the driver.
"1o the devil-to llarlem-to Macomb
pam-anywhere, so that We escape mstrimt
ny and the widder."
r lie started, so did the widder and then "
r had it up the avenue, the buss having ii
{ start Of about hundred yards. Foot 10y 70,
t the wdder gained. Thinks !, Jehuel, yC
S are goner. thought it best TO tighten sh
}. SO first hove overheard the straw.
< Still she gained on rae. Then orerbonl
n went the cushions. But still she gained.
IF "More steam, driver; for mercy's SAX
) more steam !" yelled.
;. 1--WE are going faster than the law ALLOW
D, now" he answered, "rhirteen miles an hour
= Jehosaphat how the widder run she ho'
Il of her bonnet and came up hand over han
s. A thought struck me, and so on wih n
3, coat and flung it right down in her path
is She spranp on il like n she panther, aud tol
" it TO pieces. oh, how they flew. wept
e see il 20, but life is sweeter than coat, m
r. nv tailor is making me new one. Here
\. gained full two hundred yards, but on 81
?. came again Once more | could see Il
r. green in her eyes-merciful Moses how
,e felt.
e Driver" said /. kill them horses or g
another mile out Of them
if "Will you pay for them" he said, ,
ie Yes, yes" said "only save me from Il
d wilder"
|. BY crackey, we did slide; the NiGder .
e longer gained, but she held her own Leani
: fully Thus we had it-out past me Res
% House-through Harlem-where Cap Or
o ham, with three mounted pCIicemen, in va
d attempted TO catch us, be prohahly suPpNsin
that we were rupning away with some baT
fund.
10 My only hope was in reaching Drgrooi
= ahead Of her, for knew they wOald biz
70 me. We were on the bridge, and, oh, Nose
of tho draw was aP. and sloop gong throug
d "Drver." ssid b. "janp that bridge and
'e make your fortune for lie, sure as you
re born
ID an do it or die r. he cried. And he
Z, III, The wdder jumped after US. fell into 4
lUsrleu river scG bSsn't be(n AeA.d Of 6; },