The Cass County Republican. [volume] (Dowagiac, Mich.) 18??-1880, 1858-06-03

Don't / wish l were man!
Wouldn't set the beaver-hatted pop
ulation an example of brilliant perfec-
ton. Wouldn't l make myself gene
rally agreeable to all the ladies, and
talk to 'em as if they had souls above
bonnetsi What a glorious man /
should make
wouldn't stand on the hotel steps
and puff clouds of villainous tobacco
smoke into the eyes of all the pretty
girls that 60 past, nor spit on the pave
ments to spoil their little shoes and
injure their tempers!
| wouldn't set my huge heel down
on the trains of their silken dresses, to
tear 'em half off; and l think, but I'm
not quite sure, but | thiak-Fd knock
down the first brute who dared COM
plain of the circumference of their gar
ments! And when they come into a
car or omnibus, / wouldn't stick my
nose into a newspaper, or look abb
stractedly out of the window, nor get
up grumbling, /" Always the way with
women !" Not &. bit ofitl I'd spring
up like patent India rubber ball, and
If the old bachelor on the right hand
side. and the spruce clerk on the left
hand side, didn't compress themselves
into the smallest possible space, to
make room for the crinolines, I'd kno "
the reason why!
And then, when / get married, Qor
to what end was / created, if not to
pay the milIiner's bills of some blessed
little bit of womankind y wouldn't
make model husband! Do you sup
pose / should bother her sweet life out
of her, by grumbling because paltry
button had dropped off shirt collar
or string off dickey? Do You think
I'd explode like camphene lamp every
time / found rip in my gloves? Pd
like to see myself STOPPING to any sucf
littleness.
I wouldn't consult the almanac every
time she bought new bonnet, to SCI
lust how many weeks she had worn thu
old one; and wouldn't snarl like
cross tiger cat whenever the ceffe'
happened to be cold or the beef-steal
raw. lust as if / wanted her to abas,
herself in dust and ashes, and burn VI
her rosy little face before the kitchen
fire, while / sat with my heels on tn
table, reading the paper, in the mex
room. Iwouldn't use profane Language
when she asked me to button up he
sweet little gaiter-boots, or fasten he
gloves, or even to carry her parcel
down Broadway, on rainy day
which last consider to be an infallibl
test of patience and meekness.
wouldn't gorge myself with wine
and oysters, and cigars at fashionabl
downtown restaurant, while my wifi
dined at home on cold mutton, and the
look as black as an overcharged thur
dercloud, when the grocer's little bill
came in; / wouldn't expend sma
fortune in diamond shirtstuds, extray
aeant broadcloth, and fancy canes, an
then mutter about "hard times,' whe
she ventured to ask me for half do
lar to buy check for the baby's aprons
And l rather think I'd go shoppin
with her too, when she limited to tia
effect instead of inventing excuse
about Smith, or Brown, or the club
ave. and pay her bills, too, withor
screwing up my mouth as if had tn
cramp in my face! And if she locke
into a shop window and admired
thirty dollar collar, I'd walk straight
and buy it for her, instead OF feignin
to be absorbed in y..e signs opposite
and forgetting to hear" what sh
said
When / came home at night,
wouldn't make bear Of myself, benin
the evening paper and answer sayagel,
when she timidly asked what l VIZ
reading, g ,come,s can't understand pc