Keowee courier. [volume] (Pickens Court House, S.C.) 1849-current, 1858-01-30
Mrs. Fanny Fern on the American Crisis

Well, never No. Snakes and brace
let's, darned las stockings are darned, you
know if ever did. Moses and Aaron So
it's us-us, women, ladies--us the delicious
little blue eyed tremblers, at whose tiny toot-
sicums you gents have been kneeling for no.
body knows how long-it's us who have been
and done it, and got you all into debt and
stopped your bank and made your bills good
for nothing but to light the beastly cigars
you've got on tick-ain't that the word 2 BY
Diana and the mischcvious urchin Dan Gu
pid that's what you've concluded to come to.
is it? And you cali yourselves men fl
could blush, I'd blush for you but calculate
it wouldn't do no moro good than emptying
my teapot into the almighty Niagara.
And what have we poor timid slaves been
doing if it please my lords and masters of
the creation to certify. Let us hear our crimes
anyhow. What? Buying too many robes
and spending too much in jcwelry, and per-
fumes, and soap, and gloves, and flowers, and
slippers for our dear little trotters. Those
are the things which you arc not ashamed to
throw into our faces. Grant me patience,
gracious Jupiter while write such matters
down. Why, a rightninded man, not to say
American, would down upon his marrow
bones to his wife, and humbly thank her for
having at oil events, got some pleasure out
of money while it lasted And she, if she
good darling little rib aus we all are till you
make us more Pothcr,) would say to him,
shaking her lovely curls over his face, Sam,
or Bill, or Alcibiades as the case might be,
| forgive you and | don't know--I say don't
know, but if he looked very pcnitcnt indeed,
and was a handsome fellow--I don't know,
but she might just-there, it's out, give him
a klss-ah, and good one, too--not one of
the touches that wouldn't make q dcwdrop
absquatulatc from roserleaf, but one as if
she meant it, But the notion of n husband
charging his ruin upon ono of those angels
who, in the disguise of wives, float about
your homes, and fill the air with csseucc of
| Paradisc-wcll there!
In course it's all our doing, too. No little
trltlc OF extravaganza on your side of the ta-
bic Nothing about poker, or any other lit
tic game. Nothing about racing or bets on
horses to be sent over to England, to have
their hearts broken by the cheating of John
Bulls jockeys, or to be poisoned by dukes
and marquiscs, for fear the Stars and tho
Stripes should bang the Old Country on its
own turf No oysters and port wine, and
such like, monkcying the aristocrats of Bri-
tam No chests of cigars, big as umbrellas.
| No gum-ticklers, and ncck-twistors, and bran
| dysmashos and BULLS milk, and tongue scra-
| pcrs; nor any other of your nasty excuses
Tor liquoriug when you're ashamed to call
out, like free citizens of the noblest empire
i'll the world, for what you really mean. No
opera-boxcs, that amt always filled with
| your own wivos but are sometimes sent as
presents to somebody else's-samo remark as
| to shawls and trinkets, my masters. Oh mol
nothing of all this Ask about these Things,
and shc lords of creation are as mute as u
dead niggcr in coal-hole. But there's some
thing in all this girls, notwithstanding.
swear it, by the memory of st. Washington.
But como, girls, upand be doing If we've
| done the mischief, land my lords say so, and
therefore, of course, it must be so,) we must
repair it, Wen have good time.
BLESSED TO GIvg.-The sun in the heaven
scatters abroad its beams. The fountain
sends forth its lifc-giving waters The earth
teens with its various productions. The
birds sing for our pleasure Man should
copy the example, and live for the good of
others. He is the happcst who does most to
make others happy. Experience veriics the
words ofour Savior, alt is more blessed to
give than to receive"
GREEN OLD AGE.--An English paper pub
lishcs the marriage of couple, respectively
| cghty-thrcc and cighty-two years old, and
says: ave have often met with the cxprcs-
sion, "a green old age but have never seen
so striking an example of such state as this
must have been"
THERE is nothing purer than honesty; moth
ing warmer than love; nothing richer than
! wisdom; nothing brighter than virtue; moth
/ ins more stcadtast than faith.
A MINISTER, who haG icc ircc..eivcd numbcro of
calls, and could scarcely decide which wac
the best, asked the advice from faithful old
! African servant, who replied: Master 90
| where is the most devil"
| An Irish servant observing his mistress
feeding pct female canary, asked show long
1T took them craters to hatch? 2" "Three
weeks, F" was the reply. "0ch, sure, that is
the same as any fowl. except a pig"
A CLERGYMAN was walking out one day
and passed wolittle boys, one of whom made
bow. AS he walked away, he heard the
| following amusing conversation WHY.
John, didn'tyou know that was Parson MayY';
"Of course did" "Why didn't you make
bow~ "Why, mother don't belong to his
| church,"
A BAILIPF who had been ordered by Lady
Hardwck to procure p SOW of the breed and
size she particularly described to him, came
one day into the dining-room, whom full of
company, proclaiming, with burst Of low low he he
could not suppress: Il haye been at Rovston
Fair, my lady, and got SOW exactly of your
ladyship's size" ~
DEFINITIONS from new school book !:
"John, what's bakery?" A place
where they bake, sir" "What's brew
eryW GA place where LEY brew" -
What's a gallery ?" "Ti hi--a place
where there is rrols p'