The Washington union. [volume] (City of Washington [D.C.]) 1857-1859, 1858-10-24

coffee by housemai who neglect the towels necessary
for my morning abutions and by taors who spoil my
clothing, the particularly patient party And yet E
the.atoretime equabe Mel who have sought 10
penetrate all mysteries go oil the day burdened with
load of enxetyan unoonquerable desire to know what
all my Investigations have yet failed to discover that
is, good Mr. Printer, pray cap this climax, WHAT
BECOMES or ALL THE OLD F0RNlTuRES
1t the pursuit OF this much desired knowledge
under serious difficulties which caused to discover
II for moment j may borrow the phrascology which
originated with the gifted author Sermon
Harp of a Thousand strngs" that there were good
6shah caughtah in the OF humor whose
waves overwhelmed the
Middie-Aged Man at an Auction;
for in the eageness with which chased the painting
terry, allowed myself to be drawn into public auction.
At first thought might be mistaken and almost fan
cied myself in cheap concert room for very genial
looking parsonage giving rapid uteance to what
sounded much like the chorus of comic song thus:
eTo ol, To lo ol oller but suddenly dropping his
voice he amazed me by the following strange statement
the precise meaning Of which have not yet fathomed
"Gone Mr.. Wilson with drawer in it-one dollar ~
Soon not only observed but parook of the strange s
cnation. and found myself bidding wildly for things
utterly useless mpeled thereto by the manifest ndgna-
ton with which my conduct was regarded by fat in
d'vdual The copulcnt party of the second part eyed
savagely andas soon found that wink is as good
as a nod to auctioneer, l safely say that the
prices paid by the fat party all in my eye. Corpu
lence stroye to revenge itself by standing upon my feet
thereby damaging which have tcndcrly cared for
during several years. revenged, however, when
the fat party doomed to pay several dollars for
broken looking glass but again the adermanic one
grinned CHASTITY grim when the auctionecr declared
the purchaser of carpet which might have belonged to
Mrs. Noah and when small German expectorated
large quantity Of tobacco juice upon carpet, was
made ate by the triumphant laugh of the oleaginous
lump of envy, and should doubtless have said
thing very severe but remembering that tylaughtcr
sometimes produces apoplexy in fat Subjects preferred
let malice enjoy its mirth The result Of my nvesti
cation threw light upon the object Of my search but
left me plus several decayed articles Of household furniture
and minus my pocket book, which removed from my
pocket should not besprsed the fat individual had
hand in il. But although the great question, What
becomes of oil the old furniture remains unanswered,
was rewarded (whcn modest merit not reward
ed y by the reflections which this experience suggested
The auctioneer is henceforth forever most in
teresting person in my eyes; what power IL his he
knock down what he plcases and none may gansay
him. Then, what mysteries hang about him BY what
strange process his lungs continually renewed Is
there any fashionable disease corresponding to the clergy
throat which attacks him penalty for his
constant exhorting? Did any ever hear OF an auc-
toneer being ordered to Europe for the benefit OF his
throat A man Of more than ordinary wisdom he must
be surely who thus play the perpetual Curtus, and
be leapng into the angry gulf between buyer and
seller The natural history Of the auctoneer has never
been written think must write it shcn have
tne but for the present going, going gone, is the
MIDDLE-AGED MAN.