The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1858-11-17
Letter from Artsmas Ward.
Hs pisas Bsrlss H,igis and Encounters as Ere,
L1r,rs

0eutz-Sincs I last writ article for your vale.
raole paper i've rosmsd far aud vide s'sith Dia-
Dam on my Brow DO 70 speak, my karesr thia
season has bin kontinnsd ovashun. Tue bow
mond B siitty has cum to see my trooly rrase
show every wbare-, h the booty aud shiyeiry Of
our land has gazed In rspsrs oapoa my wax nrsers
Kangaroo. hasexclaimed "kin these ere things
be orecum us like aamInsrs kioud ~ Win \
unanermous vols they bev all expressed theirssl.
yes satisfied, lot it bs 80 Rekordtd.
Hear am st Berlin Hites amoug the Free
Lovirs. ! srrove here last roosdsy & bitterly do
cuss the day ever sot foot on this retched piase
hegrn tell OF these Free Lovers for sun time 1
thawt ide cum ard sec what kiud Of fkritters thay
was. pitcht my tent in Hsid near the Luy Kurs,
~ they kali IL, 4 unf,Iaed my bannir 70 ths
Breese. Bimeby tns people ke mmensed to pour
into my show Il begua TO kouglateriats my
self on doin sfsvin bisDess. Blu; they we're
ouery lookin set, must say The mems fases
were kuvered with hair 4 they looked haf starved
to dsth. They didn't ware no weskuts fur the
purpus LAS they sed) Of a lowin the free air NJ
hesens to blow into thear buzzums There kost
pockit was flied with tracks and other tarnel
nonsense they wssa shskiy lookiu krowd.
TIE wlnen was wus nor the men. They wore
trowsis, short gowns aud straw hats with faded
green fibbins onto them, they karried bloc kot.
ton umbreilers in thear hands. Bimebya perfectly
orfai iookin female presented herself st the dore
Her gown was skaodaiusiy short, 4 her trowsis
WAS shameful to behold. Sez she Gar, kin it be I
yes tis troo D tbs trool" Sez 1, 'I5 cents msrn
Sez she, & i've found you at iarst at iarst-O at
larstw Sez |, yes yu has found me at larst Il yu
would hav found me at fust If yu had come sooner
Seq she, "Air yu mau2' Sez /. II think air; but
ef yu dout il yu may address Mrs. A. Ward, Bal.
dnsville, Ipjianuy. postage paid, she will dout.
less Civ 20 the required iuformsshuD." Sen she,
"theu yu air what the world cawls marrid'" sed
yes marm, air"
The eksentric female then grabd me by the arm
SEE she in wild vose "yu air mine, yu air
mne.' Scarcely" sez as released my sell frum
her irun grasp. She agane cluiched me by the ar I'M
sed, "yu air my affinerty." Sez /, what upon
arth 10 that?" "Dost tbow not know," sez she -
No marm," sez |, ii do,nut." Ssz she, ..Liston,
man, lie tell ye. Fur years i've yearned for thee
l knowd thow vast in the wurld sumwhares aItho
knowd not thy name or plase of residence My
hart Eed he would cum took currige. He has
cum-he Is hear-yu air him; yu air my afiuerty
o tIs two mntch-two mutcn!'' & she bust ou,
icryin. YES" seE j, ri think it is darn site toe
mulch" HAST thee not yearned for me ~ she
yeIlej, ringin her hands like female play acter
SeZ !, mot yearn." Bi this time q CRATE krowd
OF Free Lovirs had kcllected around US. 4 they
all kommensed fur to boiler "shame," stbrute
"beast etsettery, etsettery. was just as mad al
. March hair. "Sez You pack Of Query critters
70 way frum me talk this retched woman aioup
with yu. My naime is Artemus Ward aud ime il
the show bisnis. pay my bills mind my ewr
fairs. ime m arid man, ii am a Snowman
don't 60 in fur settiu the laws of my country a
defnnce. ! aint in favor Of privateariu or moth
IN else illegal. l think yure afinerty bisnis 4
cussed nonsense being outrsj sjusiy wIckid. Wb
don't yu behaive desuntiy like other other folk.
60 to work and ern q livin, & do not stay rouu,
hear like parsui OF lazy shittis good fur nothin;
knots. Hsint ye got no sufapshun. Yu wimmii
folks 60 back to yare lawful husbands if yuve got
any & take off them skandnlus short gownds ans
trowsis dres respectful like other wimmin Y,
nen folks cut OFF them. piratturcut whiskeil
burn up them infnrnai SPIRIT rappin tracks, put
ou susl weskuts d go to work chopin wood spit
tin fense ralss, or some other useful employment
fur which Natur Intended yu" / pored 4th IN,
indignsshun in this way un,il / got out of brett
wben stopt. l tok down my ten. l. shell lev.
town this eveniD.
perseeve with disgust that the Detroit Fat Mar
has bin sanderin me in the papers. sha, 4 attenC
TO his kase in q futur letter, showing him up il
ali his Deformsy. Very respectfully Yores,