Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1858-06-03
8na1ssing 9eaaing~
MRS. GIDDELMAN HUMoRs HER
HUSBAND.

EHUSBANOs g
As It Is necessary to state facts, in the
way Of business, We are compelled to say
that Mr.. Reuben Giddelman and his wife,
Keziah, agree together like an acid and an
alkali, producing an efervescenee whenever
they come in contact. Mr.: g. is. a tobac7
oonist, and his wife, Keziah,, assists him in
the manufacture of cigars. Their occupa-
ton, therefore, keeps them together; they
sit, side by side, all day on the same bench,
and quarrel necessarily. - -
Mr. G. alleges that all the disturbance
, is caused BY Keziah's refusal to let himhave
his own way. *
Yesterday morning, it. seemed that the
troubles of the Giddelman family had come
to a crisis. After breakfast, Mr.. G. inform
ed Keziah that, as she had constantly oppos-
ed him in everything for twenty years, he
had resolved togo to a country where he
hoped to be allowed bis own inclinatious. In
other words, be intended to commit suicide.
Keziah was deeply affected; she humbly con-
fessed her fault, and, to give the best evil
dsnes of a. contrite spirit, she. declared that,
although the execution Of his present design
would be likely to break her heart, she would
make no opposition whatever.
every we'll, them said the desperate
mar, ~ wish you to go to the drug store,
and get me strong dose Of strychnine."
alt shall be DONE" said Keziah, in a
tone expressive Of melancholy resignation
She threw on her bonnet and shawl, went
out,sand returned with the physic in less
than FIVE minutes.
81 have been thinking" said Mr.. Gid
delman, whenK eziah came back, ''that as
.strychnine is . preparation of u vomica,
and that IL is a base article, used chiefly for
poisoning dogs, it is not exactly the thing
I want. Though I intend, to put an end to
myself I do rot wish to die the death ola
dog. You may throw the srtychuine into the
fire and, if it is not too much trouble, step
to the corner grocery and borrow a pistol
from my friend Jonas Barley. I have made
up my mind to shoot myself"
"I will not cross you in anything" said
Keziah, with a yielding gentleness which
proved that her reformation was complete.
The pistol was soon procured. Giddelman
examined itand discovered, to Ills great vex-
alton, thati 3 was unloaded. 49,.
"And now what is to be done? said be-. in
accents Of despair. sI have neither powder,
bullets, nor percussion caps, and the pistol
is of no use without them.
off you wish" said the dutiful Keziah,
81 will go and purchase all these articles;
for I have made up my mind to humor you
in every thing"
Ono, I will mot impose on your good ma
ture," snswered Nh. Giddslman; 'Jou have
run about in the cold too much already
Vel try another expedient. I've been
told hanging lisa delightful way to close ac-
counts with this world. The individual feels
atickling sensation about the throat, laughs
himself into commissions, and expires in a
sort of Joyous ecstacy. Yes; you may fetch
me a piece ofthe BEDFORD, and I'll hang my
SELF"
"Certainly," said the obedient Kesiah,
ssyou shall be gratifed in all your wishes"
and accordingly she fastened to an upper
chamber and soon returned with two yards
of Mannilla rope. G. smiled grimly as he
took the cord in his hand, and doubled it
two or three times.
aYou have been a little too accomoda-
ting this time, my DEAR" said he to Keziah.
"Your extraordinary kindness deserves some
reward, and you shall have it. I will put
this rope to- better usethan you expected
So saying, he applied the cord vigorously
to Mrs. G.'s back and shoulders, and she
was pretty we'll drubbed before her shrieks
could summon the ministers of justice to her
aid. Giddelman was held to bail for assault
and battery.-Phaadsphia Press.