davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1858-12-07
BLESS THE Lord THAT'S A L1E.-Dr. Dixol

BLESS THE Lord THAT'S LIE.-Dr. Dixon
preached in Liverpool funeral discourse on the
death of DR.. Bunting. In spite of his intirmity
of blindness he is said to have for ninety min
utes held an auditory in wrapt and wondering
attention as he portrayed the mind, the heart
the lite, tbs passive and active virtues of DR..
Bunting. A most udicrous incident occurred
while DR.. Dixon was delivering his sermon. In
speaking of tue removal of DR.. Bunting, and
others, he said it seemed to him as though the
great men of the Methodist Church were pass
ing away one after another, and that there were
none rising up to fill their places. The instant
this opinion was expressed, good old woman
in the congregation shouted out at the top of her
voice-"And, bless the Lord, that's lie."-
This corrective remark of the Jealous mother in
Israel so disconnected the speaker, that he was
unable to proceed. At length he recovered
himself, and without noticing the interruption
in any way, pressed on to the close of his noble
commemorative discourse.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1858-12-07
Rain as it Looks Dressed up.

In the recent laying of the corner stone OF an
asylum for inebriates, at ,Binghampton, New
York. it very appropriately rained. Edward
Everett was the orator, and dressed the show
up in the following pretty raiment:
I heard from one friend and another this NOR
ning-kind enough to pay his respects to me,
knowing on what errand had come-he re-
marked that he was sorry we hadn't good
day. II was, as you are aware raining in the
morning. Sir. it is good day, notwithstand
ing the rain. Weather is good; all weather
is good; sunshine is good rain is good. Not
good weather, sir2
Ask the farmer into whose grains and roots
there vet remains some of its moisture to be
driven by to.morrow's sun. Ask the boatnan
who is waiting for his raft to go over the rapids
Ask the dairyman and grazer if rain, even at
this season, is not good. Ask the lover OF Dature
If it is not good weather when it rains. Sir
saw two or three times in Europe artificial wa
ter work cascades constructed by the skill OF
man at an enormous expense-the remains OF
the palatia waterworks ut Marley, where Louis
XIV lavished uncounted millions of gold, and
thus laid the foundation of those depletions in
the treasury which brought on the French Rev
olution The traveller thought it great thing
to see those revolutionary waterworks wherein
little cataract poured out little water to be
scattered out by small engine. Do we talk OF
its not being good where Gods great engine is
exhibiting to US His imperial waterworks, send
ing up the mists and vapors to the clouds to be
raned down again in comfort and beauty upon
grateful and thirsty man9 Sir, as mere graft
fication of taste, know nothing in nature more
sublime, more beautiful than these rains des-
cending from the skies. (Applause.)
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1858-12-07
POETRY.

NovEMBRR-Any one entertain unkind feel
ings towards the last six or seven weeks OF
,ceather called Nocem6er9 Then look at Hoods
description of that villainous month. We had
always thought tia vile slander up to this time,
but now we are satisfied of its truth.
November.
No sumo moon
No moru-no noon
No dawn-no dusk-no proper time of day
No sky no earthly view
No distance looking blue
No road, no street-no 'tother side the way
No end to any Row
No indications where the Crescents go
No top to any steeple-
No recognition of familiar people
No courtesies for showing 'em-
No knowing em
No travelling at all-no locomotion-
No inkling by the way-no notion
"No go"-by land or ocean
No mail-no post
No news from any foreign coast
No park-no ring-no afternoon gentity-
No company-no nobility
No warmth-no cheerfulness-noh healthful ease
No comfortable feel in any member
No shade-no shine-no butterfies-no bees
No fruits-no fowers-no leaves-no birds
November! THOMAS HOOD
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1858-12-07

GETTING MARR1Ep.-A loafer who had been
noisy, was up before the Mayors Court. HIS
Honor told him to pay over five dollars for bis
fine. 5l.
"C-c.o.caht do it, muttered he; 'a-a-ain't got
the p-p.pewter."
'Are you married MANI" inquired the
Mayor.
'iN.n-n not exactly so f-f-far gone yet SIR"
swell, will have to send you to the work ;
house," said the Mayor. r
eT-t-t.tain't nothin' to g-ggo there" said A
lick, "b-b-but when you t-t.taked about nm
marriage, old fellow, you Enlightened me y
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1858-12-07
How TO MAKE GIRL InRrsrsr1BLY HANDSOME

How TO MAKE GIRL IRREsIsTIBLY HANDSOME;
in Cincinnati, the other day, a woman named
Madame Bertha Van Griefechin was arrested
for false pretences. The complainant was do
mestic. named Barbara Hammond. 1t appears
that Madame advertised for sale, at 81, 9 recipe
which if faithfully followed up, would make
the bomeliest the handsomest." The recipe runs
as follows: ,,, of
wH pss 1s'Se Sg sss Your ar thumb nall in vim
egar Mix into paste and spread upon the Se lace
every every night before going to sleep The effect
"' barbara ri not satisfied with the charms with
,nh;oh on natnre IT, had adorned her, called on Mad
sma WHICH aavs her two dollars and received the re-
ops She about to seek the several s,na, in
gradients being unable to ns uosas sb
unwiinglv rv came to the conclusion that Madame
nss mott what she ought to be, and caused her
arrest. Madame is now in jail.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1858-12-07
Execution of Arabs.

| It may be remembered, that some time ago an
account was given of the condemnation to death
by the court of Assizes of Constantine OF seven
Arabs, for the barbarous murder of French
colonist, named ellison, and his wife, OF the
neghborhood of Setif, and the attempted mur.
der of their aunt and daughter. Two ofthe sew
en- had their sentences COMMITTED, and eight days
back an order reached the jailor at Constantine
to send back the other five, whose names were
Aly, Saad, Mehenni, Embareck and Koreichi,
to Setif, to be executed. When the five men
were removed from the Jail to an artillery wag-
on. to be conveyed to Setif they all, with the
exception of Ally, who was perfectly calm, shed
tears and uttered loud cries, and when they had
taken their places in the vehicle the first four OF
them attempted to ill-treat Koreich, who had
made disclosures which had led to their convic-
ton, but they were prevented from executing
their purpose by the gendarmes placed near
them. The vehicle In which they were convey.
ed was drawn by post-horses, and escorted oy
detachment of spahis. In the evening the con-
demned reached the caravansera of BordJ Mam,
ri, about twenty leagues from Constantine, ana
there they passed the night; the next DAY they
arrived at Setit, and, after passing the night IN
prison, were the following morning conveyed to
the scaffold, which was erected in the market
plac6. All Lu0 RdrIicOu VI Oosii a. .S'-,
and vast number of Europeans and natives
were collected to witness the scene. Ally was
first executed, and, on seeing bis head fall, an
Arab chief, who was on horseback, tainted and
fell to the ground, while the great mass of ma
tives, as if seized with panic ran away in all di-
rections. This was owing to the horror the ma
tves have of the French system of execution, be-
cause it causes the complete severance OF the
head from the body; whereas, by their own
system, which is effected by swords, the neck is
never entirely cut through, in order, as they be-
lieve, to enable the Prophet to take the true be-
lever by the tuft of hair which is left on the
summit of the head, and raise him bodily into
Paradise-a thing which could not be done If the
head were completely separated from the trunk.
The execution of Saad, Mehenn and Embareck,
which followed that of Ally, presented no re-
markable incident; but Koreichi, who was 81
most overwhelmed with emotion, was so horror
stricken on seeing on the scaffold the dead bod
les of his accomplces, that he made faint at
empt to break away. The execution of the
whole five men was accomplished in seven min
ties.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1858-12-07

Old negro slumberng with his feet pointing
to glimmering fire. Opens one eye and gets
glimpse of them as they stand up in the obscu.
rity Mistakes them for two little negroes, and
cries "Gif fun fore me-" and relapses into
sleep. After while opens the other eye, and
still seeing the intruders, says; Cit FUN fore
me, say, l kick you in de fire if you don't;
will shu' "-and again he snores. His dreams
not being pleasant, he soon opens both eyes, and
still seeing the little pests, he draws up his feet
for the threatened kick, but is alarmed to see
them advance upon him, and exclaims: "Wha',
where you comm to now? Humph! My own
feet, by gollyl"
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1858-12-07

PRAyER-Prayer is ever profitable; at night
it is our covering; in the morning it is our ar
NOR. Prayer should be the key of the day, and
the lock of night. Prayer sanctifes all our ao-
tions. He is listed in all Gods service and pro
lection, who makes it his first work to be en-
rolled by prayer, under the standard of the Al
mighty He carries an assistant angel with him
for bis help who begs his benediction from a
bove; and without it he is lame and unarmed.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1858-12-07

A certain Irishman received for his labor
one dollar bill on one of the Ohio Banks, on
which he was obliged to lose ten cents discount.
The next day he was passing down Main street
and saw dollar bill lying on the sidewalk, on
the same bank, and gazing on it he exclaimed,
"Bad luck to the likes of ye-there may ye lie
dvil finger will put on ye, for lost ten cents
by brother of yours yesterday"
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1858-12-07

A new feat in the Photographic art has just
,een performed by N. N"dar, the well known
of Paris. He ascended in balloon
With N. GODDARD, and from varions heights took
birds views of the city and the surrounding
country. On the occasion of the first attempt
If that kind the balloon soon entered cloud,
md it was found impossible to execute the pro-
ect: but the second attempt is said to have sue
,eeded perfectly. The new views will soon be
given to the public.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1858-12-07

A midshipman asked a priest to tell the ,d die
ference between priest and jackass. Inc
priest gave it up. "One wears cross Oh ms
back, and the other on bis breast" said the MD
shipman. ''Now," said the priest, tell me the
difference between midshipman and )acKass.
The midshipman gave it up and asked what
it was. The priest said that ne did not know
of any,
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1858-12-07

A Coop REeULArIoN-Every man in China
must pay his debts at the beginning of the year,
and also at the time Of religious festival about
the middle of the year. If unable to settle at
these times, bis business stops until his debts are
paid. Wonder how such just observance
might suit the United States2
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1858-12-07

ITO THE PUBLIC.-The subscrberresp
Il " informs the public that he is now in the occu
pancy of the House occupied by John B. Scherer and
that hereafter will be opened at his house RESTAU
RANT, and that persons from the country, and other
nlaces. can at all times be accommodated with PRO-
VISIONS, for themselves and Horses, &c.
Mr. J. b. Scherer will give his personal attention to
customers. "M' WhoLEI.
Staunton, Ap. 2s, So.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1858-12-07

"Sam, why am de lawyers like the fishes ~
81 don't meddle wild dat subjeck, Pomp." "Why,
don't you see, niggar, kase>dey is SO fond OBJ de-
bate"
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1858-12-07

Lot us sometimes stop little, and ask our
solses What are we aboutl Whittier are we
goin9l And where will all end at last3
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1858-12-07

Why are hundred and sixty square rods like
q decayed tooth2 ts. .s.gr
Because it is an saker.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1858-12-07

The oldest piece of furniture is the multipllca-
ton table. 1t was constructed more thsn TWO
thousand years ago, and is yet as good as new.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1858-12-07
BURDETT'S GALLERY.
NNTHEN Scotias great minstrel, the Wizard OF the
wv North sang bemOaningly-

"What sklIIfuI thinner 9 er would CHOOSE
To paint the rainbow's dying hues,
Unless TO mortal it were given
To dip his brush in dyes Of Heaven
he little thought in his poetic dream that there
then on the empire of the great Napoleon boy born
who. in a quarter of century thence, would teach
men to "dp the brush in dyes of Heaven and seat in
the artists studio the light of day. as more finished
mner than ancient or modern schools could boast Of
AS one OF the disciples (of considerable experience
of the immortal Daguerre desire to let it be known
that am now taking the "human face divine in lines
as enduring as brass, and more true to nature than
living marble; and to invite those who want nice
Pictures taken in any style and at any price to visit
stairs1 No please, no pay. "Come one, come oil,
both large and small j. II. BURDETT,
Burwelps Building Main Street.
Gtountop Oct
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1858-12-07
NEW SEGAR AND TOBACCO STORE

4N OPPOSITE THE VIRGINIA HOTEL, md adjoiRSng
Kanaere's acetly Store-To the lovers of the Weed,
and chewers Tobacco, beg leave to announce that
have opened a SEGAR AND TOBACCO ESTAB
LlSHMENT at the above mentioned stand, ,whereat all
times, may be found SEGARS of all the most admired
Brands, ofimported and domestic manufacture with
Chewing and Smoking Tobacco of the very best kind
practical experience of many years in the above bus
N, SIS and thorough knowledge of the same just6es
me in saying, that can supply all demands, and ad
min lister to the taste of the most inveerate tobacco
chewers and smokers. hope my many friends will
give me a trial and their kind support, in my endeav
or to establish myself here promising them astrictand
faithful attention to business.
'' WILLIAM BARKMAN.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1858-12-07

The ancient Greeks buried their dead IN jars.
Hence the origin of the expression, "Hes gone
to pot"
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1858-12-07
Staunton Spettator,
i1; /; 1WADnSnELt, nn i t.,5r;, 5r;, propriesors.
TERMS.

rt Tsoo Dollars and Fty Cents gear, schich may be
discharged By Me peymsat Of 7sOo Doars at any time
witin he year. No subscription aoN be discontinued
bat at Tie Gption of the Editors, until aarreerages are
paid.
ADVEPTZSEMENIS of ten lines Tor less,) inserted
three times for one dollar, and toentyUe cents each
Observation-Disclosures Larger
ia the same proportions.
liberal discount made to those soho advertise 6y the
year. 49,
Professional Cards. not erceeding Iies aOI Dc
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1858-12-07

LOOK TO YOUR PoLoIRs.-Lord st. Leonards,
great English judge, in his recent book called
"Handy Book on Property Law" says: "Very
few policies against fire are so framed as to rem
der the company legally liable. Generally the
property is inaccurately described in reference
to the conditions under which you insure. They
are framed by the company, who, probably, are
unwilling to have legal defence against any
claim, as they intend to pay what they deem a
Just claim without taking advantage ofaDy tech
nical objection, and to make use of their defence
only against what they may believe to be a
fraud, although they may not be able to prove
it, But do not rely on the moral feelings OF di-
rectors. Ascertain that your house falls strictly
within the conditions
Generally there is whole page of finely
printed conditions" on the back of the policy,
any one of which, ingeniously drawn as they
are, may be the subject of lawsuit, with fair
prospect of success against the insured. These
conditions are sometimes resorted to in order 10
entirely defeat the policy, or else are used as a
screw, in connection with the necessities of the
insured, to bring about deduction from the
fair amount which ought to be paid.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1858-12-07

AnsURp ACCUSATION lit happened once that
Gov Foote. when United States Senator fell
asleep during the delivery of one of the sopolifc
discourses Of Mr.. Baldwin, of Connecticut
While in this state, humorous Senator sudden.
~ awoke him and asked how it came that he
was sleepinp at his post when Baldwin was de-
nounciug him and his state IN such insulting
terms. Foote forthwith sprung to the floor, and
in his fiery, impetuous manner, poured forth a
torrent of defensive invectlve against the as
founded Connecticut Senator, who vainly pro-
tested his entire innocence of any offensive ex-
pressions. II will show the Senator" said Foote,
ssthat he shall not insult me or my State with
impunity. will teach him that he shall not
use such language and then have the effrontery
to deny it. Why, sir, every Senator on this
foor heard it Just as well as didl"
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1858-12-07

WEALTHY BEGGARs.-We have somewhere
seen it stated that early green peas in the Lon
don market are sometimes quite monopolized by
the most successful Of the leminent beggars OF
that mighty metropolis. And it is not every
one who can command such fortune as beg
gars daughter, if we may judge from the follow
ing, taken from a recent Irish work:
"Good morning to ye Mrs. Fograty," (reach-
es a snuff box to offer pinch)
"Thin good morrow kindly, Juddy; hope
see you well this morning"
so Mrs. Fograty, you married your daught'
err"
81 did-praise be to goodness"
''Did she get good matcha
"Faix thin, tits herself that did. She got
Blind Darby Discrol, on the Dyke, that makes
more money than any O. them beggars in Cork
s'I'm delighted to hear it, Mrs. Fograty,
assure We. That the world may wonder at the
luck they'll have! Did you give her any for
tune, Mrs. Fograty"
"Any fortune, is it9 All, thin, now, Judy, il
it insultn' you'd be2 Sure you know in your
heart that o child of mine was never married
without it. Didn't give her the best side O
Patterick street, which, if aceH 6egged is wort.
seven and sixpence sterling weeka"
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1858-12-07

Those who were OH board the Quaker City,
on her recent first trial over the Tehuantepec
route to California, speak in the highest terms
of praise of the trip up the Coatzacoalcos. A
correspondent of the New Orleans Bulletin says:
'They have in Paris what they call the Jar
din des PlGntes, collection, made at great
trouble and expense, of the rsrest animals, BIRDS
and plants-the wonder of the world. If Paris
were situated on the banks of the Coatzacoalcos,
as it is on the banks of the Seine, such Gollec-
tion would certainly not be called for. Nature
herself has here furnished at hand one far more
curious. Monkeys, algators, eagles, vultures,
parrots, macaws, the banyan tree, celoa, Goa,
palm, and whatever else is rare in the animal
and vegetable kingdom alike, are our familiar
acquaintance and hourly companions. The hrst
named, in particular, have welcomed us IN num-
bers innumerable, and what is more to the point,
every one who had gun, or could borrow the
use of one, has had bis pop at them. This Is
the veritable paradise of itiDerant Esaus.
No sooner had we reached the mouth of the
river than we were greeted by countless num'
ber of gulls and boobies the former flying,
thousands in u flock, light and airy as the swal-
low, and fairly lighting up the lower horizon by
the Quick motion of their white wings; little
farther up by the famingo, curew and white
crane-white as the driven snow, and graceful
as the swan-a splendid mark in the thick, dark
wood for our party on board. AS we advanced
the piteous howl of the monkey was heard from
the neighborng forest; innumerabe hocks o.
chattering parrots and macaws greeted us as WE
passed. while the lazy alligator lay summing him
self all along the shore. This ugly monster tur
nished rare sport to our marksmen-though
hal;ava ,ot one was hit-there was such gro
tesone awkwardness in his headlong plunge, t.
be- seen no more; so different from the light
snrinqv. single hop of the white crane, when
sbot fsll near, that gravity herself must hav,
laughed outright. And here let me advise tn
traveller who would enjoy this rare sport, to CONF
out well armed, with plenty OF ammunition.
double. barrelled rifle, of long range, is best, a
the distance is frequently great to either shore.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1858-12-07

Uneasy is the head that wears wig in gale
of wind.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1858-12-07

The prettiest lining for bonnet is q smiling
face. e .fte 10
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1858-12-07

nOCTOR JAMES b. Having
~ located in Stauuton tenders his PROFESSIONALISM
vices to the public. He may be found when not pro-
REASONABLY engaged at the National Hotel.
AErf1I 1ShS-tf
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1858-12-07

A LARGE LOT OF GENTLEMEN'S TRAVEL
N ing Sh, ais, for sale cheap, at the Clothing House
of j. P0LLITZ.
Stanton DC .12 1858.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1858-12-07

A FULL STOCK OF MEDICINES AND
N DRUGS can be always found at my store, tor
PLY sicans and family uses.
DIR. II. S. EICHELBERGER.
St.unLnr 0rk 1873
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1858-12-07

HORSE SHOES.-50 kegs heavy Horse Shoes;
IL 10 kegs light Horse Shoes, suitable for saddle
horses. GEo 4. PklCE-
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1858-12-07

DURE BRANDY, WINES 4 LIQUORS,
Il of all kinds, for sale BY .
S,ountcn Oct 10 1888
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1858-12-07

A LARGE lot OF BLACK FRENCH
IN LACE Wells, from 81 to $5, at
d. A. KAYSER cos.
Starpton Oct oS 1888
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1858-12-07

HEAVY GOODS.-We have in store good as
III sortmeut ofheavy Fulled Cloth, Cassinets, Kear-
seys, Cassimeres Lnseys and Flannels, suitable Tor
boys and servants. ID. A. hAhSER u w.
Stanton Oct 26 1858.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1858-12-07

DR. III. JAMES The Retired Physiclan) Elk.
tract of Caunabis Indca. (0r Indian Hsnap,) for
the cure of Consumption, for sale by
DR.. I. II. 4 J. c. KINNEY.
Stauuton Oct. 5, 1858
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1858-12-07
DEyERCOMB's PREMIUM PLoUGHs;

CERTIFICATES.
We the undersigned, Farmers of Augusta, who
have used Mr. BarSleys Two-horse Revercomb Self
Sharpening Plough take pleasure in recommending It
to Farmers generally the best and cheapest flough
now in use in this section OF country.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1858-12-07
POWELL HARRISON,
j. MI. HANGER,

DIR. PHILIP M. CLINE,
FISHERSYILLE. VA,
DESPECTFULLY tenders his professional services
he may be found at his Office adjoining the residence
OfP. Schmucker.
Fishersvle, March s, 1858.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1858-12-07

DiPES.-Nine thousand Powhatan Pipes, supe
rior article also, full supply of a common ar
ticle in store and for sale by R. j. GLENDY,
Staunton Nav 5, '5S. Per G. L. COCHRAN.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1858-12-07

CTAyES AND HOOP POLES WANTED
y at the Staunton Steam MILL Apply to
S. A. RICHARDSON,
Staunton, Sept. Z, 1858. Superintendent
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1858-12-07
.TO THE PUBLIC

Staunton, May %, 1856.