, 1858-09-24
DisesiIapg.

lord TOLD him ne Snoulu 1ihe Wtieh ute Seu-
tlemen were done. Let him crowd in
among us,' whispered a limb Of the law,
(Albert smith, we believe) and we will have
some fun with him. The lrishman took his
seat at the table. You were not born in
this country, my friendP
No, sir; Twas born in Ireland
is your father livingF
mo, sir, he is dead
what is your occupationF
"A horse Jockey, SIR
sSWhat was your fathers occupationP
Finding horses, sir
did your father cheat any one while
Il suppose he did cheat many, SIR
sWhere do you suppose he went
To heaven, SIR
And what do you suppose he's doing
therel'
Trading horses, SIR
HAS be cheated any one thereF
He cheated one, believe, sir.
Why did they not prosecute himP
.asBccsuse they searched the whole king
dom Of heaven, and couldn't find q lawyer.
Some years ago q student at Dartmouth
college having assigned TO him the task Of
writing composition, and feeling under the
benign influence Of Apollo and the Nine at
the time, produced what he considered an
eleaant and finished piece Of blank Vsrss.
Hehanded It 70 the professor, "a plan natter
oflhct man, who knew nothing Of the fights
Of fancy,l while smile Of selEcomplacency
Illuminated his eomtenance. The professor,
sspectacles on nose, ran his eye rapidly
over The page, then turning to the exulting
stuisnk said in his peculiar slow and dig
nifed manner have more than once al
ready told you, that capital letters should be
used only at the beginning of sentence,
when commencing the name Of the Deity,
md ell proper names, but find you have
commenced every line with capitals.'
sTrua, sir, but this is poetry said the
student somewhat chop-iallsn. lfr'e ri
20 hol thlS Is poetry, Is Il Indeed was
not aware Of thatr
We lately cane across an aneodots IN an
English paper, which furnishes fine lesson
in he study Of human nature. A miserable
looking hcggar, in piteous accents, implored
lho charity Of q well dressed lady, who was
passing By, but he was not graciously re-
caitod- I have no small change said she,
Nth . rupulaiRe look. Then, most charm
ing madam said the philosopher in rags,
saIlou me the privilegeof kissing your beau.
tifnlllly uhIls hand 8 ( Z
DR.. B. Of New Jersey, is not only one
Of TIE most learned, experienced, and saga
ciou1 physicians IN this country, but the most
flos 1fon podahiry and prssence. A gentle
man oncl 6lEod him the reason why certain
di1lascs. such hs measles, vhooping-cough
and smallpox, could only b had but once.
AIler considering q moment the doctor 10
piled, Eh IF you will tell me why peo-
Pie have thom once, then viii tell you why
they never have them twice.
Lord Derby once applied in The green
soon % Mr.. Sheridan, with much dignity;
fhr llt arrears d. Lady Derby's salary, and
vowed be would not siif from the room till |
i was paid. Ny deaf lord, said Mr.. |
1heidan this 3 too bad you have taken
fon us The brightest jewel IN the world, and
toa nov quarrel with nl Cor the little dast
he haa ~ behind her.
An c1ilor out west apologies for the late
enpniranop of his paper BY affirming that
Il dorr. while ln a iit Of The ague, shook 50
tremendously as 70 throw down all the type
N he olico Tho Inhabitants for several
mile round fcll, or thought they felt the
lr11III|ne Of . , onng earthquake; and every
f1nrlh rlne of ala1I d tho village windows
unl thrown jngling into The streets. m
A person cnce telling an oxiraordnary
story 20 rather skeplIcal hearers, one asked
tI1 Narrator, Sir, Ii ou had not seen tie cir
cumniance yourself could you have believed
nf Indeed, replied the other, could
not Ihcn. rcioined the irst, You will
ercp1eme Il ldon't believe It either
Gems DID. win yon take something
aid q lad about seventeen yeaFs old to'ohe
n bis cfonies. - they were standing in front
q erog shop mo- was the reply.
tmoihlrh dcai' and she alusys told me If l
got drunk he day she died. shs'd pull my
onru.'
A ltIIou who married lcfmcrant who
drove him 70 desperation, and linally to-
death, iu1f before dying, requested q friend
% have he following brief yet pungent in
sEiption upon bic tomb Slain By Jaw
B5ll.'
BnIuer and Moore were dining with Theo.
dorl Hook Says Bnlwer % Moore, we're
going % g1t 80 glorionsly drunk tonight that
We won't know ourselves 7 You wouldn't
know nnsk 4 you did, reioried Hook.
4. tlis youl house and homeq r asked a
ne'ghbor Of ! farmer Is he saw him boarding
.Eo. replied he ls.ns..,, r'nonly board
Nov s,,, Il 1sn don. ..,o.uO,. =. l;;.,E,,. a