The Council Bluffs nonpareil. [volume] (Council Bluffs [Iowa]) 1857-1867, 1858-08-28
A GOOD LESSON wrrrIseLY TAUels7.
4 NEW Profession.

A GOOD LESSON WILLINGLY TAUGHT.
NEW Profession.
We hope our reader, will not be startled
when we say that there 10 needed new
profession. We shall not stop to argue
that doctrine, lawyers, and preachers do
their duty. We have little or nothing to
say in complaint of them. We recognize
their necessity, and do not see how society
could well get on without them. We duly
appreciate their learning, and have the
highest regard for their ability and infu-
ence.
But in the doubts and perplexi.ies of life,
in its various phases and constantly chang
ing conditions. most feel often, all feel at
all times, the want Of truthful and candid
advice relative to matters out of the range OF
either medical, spiritual, or legal advisers.
Thousands every day have occasion to ask
themselves, 'What ought to do2 How am
to meet this difficulty? How shall es-
cape from the troubles that surround me ?
How shall act to escape public censure and
the sacrifice of principle9' and other similar
questions.
Could there be established profession
composed of men who should engage to
make it their sole business to give frank
and honest advice to those who should ap-
ply for it, it seems probable that such a pro-
fesson would be sustained, and that 1t
would contribute largely to the welfare Of
society.
The members of this new profession
might assume the designation of Truthtsl-
lers. They might guarantee to applicants
hon
it was fully and fairly presented. They
might make it known that they would charge
at the rate of ten dollars an hour for time
spent in listening to statements Of clients,
and in preparing their deliberate opinions
as founded upon those statements. They
would open convenient Offices, where men
and women, in doubt as to what they ought
to do, might consult those whose profession
al duty twas to tell the 'truth and the whole
truth relative to the matter which had
caused them perplexity, regardless Of the
wounds they might give to the vanity Of ap-
plicants, and with the plainness and simplic-
ity which, in friends, would seem blunt and
discourteous. Those who distrusted their
own judgement, and those who are invol-
we'd in unusual difficulties, would find in the
members of this new profession an infalli-
BILE resource. They could not safely apply
to friends for the advice they want, because
they know that fear of giving offense
would prevent them from telling the truth.
Neither could they be assured that the friends
wonld give full and careful hearing to
all the matters involved nor that an
equal friendship for other parties interested
in the verdict might not warp their judge
ment but in their veracity and absolute
candor in advice, rendered after systemat-
ic Investigation, and without necessary
delay.
To illustrate more fully the advantages
of this new profession, let US imagine it
already initiated aud Fl irm already establish
ed, who offer advice for stated fees on every
matter of business, taste, or affection. We
will suppose that Messrs. Keen, Short. &
Blunt, three middle-aged gentlemen, of va
ried experience, have opened an Office on
Canal Street, Offering to hear statements and
to render advice to all parties applying to
them in good faith. They have their rooms
of audience and examination, their clerks to
record facts as detailed, and examiners to
inquire elsewhere to ascertain the veracity
of statements, reserving to the members of
the firm the duty of rendering written
and formal opinions upon the cases present.
cd.
Early in the morning enters Mrs. Hearts
ease, q y oung widow OF twenty-three, whose
husband has been dead two years, and who
has recently received IN offer of marriage
from Mr.. Flourish Mouumbug. She opens
her heat to her business con6dents, tells
how she admires Mr.. McIumbug, how scan
ty the funds are that were left her by her
late dear Heartsease, what uice and amia-
BILE man her new suitor is, how fond her little
curly headed daughter is of him, and how
happy she expects they will be when Mr..
McHumbug comes to live with them. Keen,
Short & Blunt listen for an hour or two to
her story, and learn more about McHum-
bugs character and purposes than the sweet
could learn in forty years, tell her that they
will take the matter under advisement, and
send her away. The next day they send her
their bill
Mrs. Virginia Heartsease,
To Keen, Short & Blunt, Dr.:
Two hours conversation, 800
One and half ditto, consultation, l5-$35
The boy who presents the bill gives Mrs.
II. a note in legal envelope, which she opens
and reads as follows:
Dear Madam We have come to the
conclusion that you are deceived. We are
satisfied that McEumbug is knave, and
entertains no regard for anything but your
money. We are professionally constrained
to say that you are very silly young wo-
man to have any thing to do with him.
Yours truly,
KEEN, SHORT l. BLUNT,
Confidential Counsellors.'
At noon enters young man with roll
! l~f L. cv,,tA-
Blunt, and tells him he was about to send
his manuscript to an editor for publication,
but had concluded to consult their firm be-
fore venturing to do so. He hands his pro-
duction to Mr.. Blunt, who reads very atten-
lively for an hour, consulting his library
very frequently. At last he looks up over
his spectacles and asks: Have you ten
dollars about you p and having received hil
fee, he proceeds : 'Young man, you came
here to be told the truth. You have shown
ne parcel of stuff which you say you in.
tend to publish. 1t is my candid opinion
that you had better put it in the FIRE. Your
command of language is none of the best
your choice Of topics is injudicious; your
classical illusions are ill-timed your style
is strained your efforts at humor are mere
shams ; and you have not learned to con6ne
your eKuslOns within any thing like reason
able compass. Remember, Sir, mean NO
offense but you have paid me for telling
you the truth, and hope you will value and
act upon it accordingly The young aspi.
rant departs without his ten dollars, but a
wiser if q sadder man. -.
Next comes a man who thinks he has q
good law hitch on his neighbor, and desires
to consult Keen, Short 4 Blunt as to the
propriety of commencing legal proceedings
He explains the case, and shows him how
he hopes to win. They listen patiently bu,
admonish him, from time to time, to speal
tho truth if he wants truthful opinion
Concludes his application, pays twenty dol.
lars, and receives from Blunt the following
opinion.
Dear Sir: We have carefully considered
your case. Your design is to.swindIe you1
neighbor. We think a smart lawyer would
enable you to succeed, yet you will be fool
/ ish in prosecuting the attempt. Go home
invite your neighbor to dinner, give up tn,
paper you hold against him, and never agair
think Of robbing him Of what 10 justly his
because you have an apparent legal right OF
your side. Hoping for further patfonar,