Clarksville chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1857-1865, 1858-06-04
mit quo 9umcr.


another palpitating heart to the part af-
fected.
"MY LOVE-" said Mrs. FoEsle 10 her
husband, "oblige me with ten dollar note
to-day, to purchase new dress 2" cShan't
do any such thing, Agnes, you called me
a bear yesterday" "Lor', love, that was.
nothing-1 meant by it that you were
fond Of huggiug-"
A large portion Of the swamps of Flori-
da are said to be capable of producing fve
hundred bushels Of frogs to the acre, with
ot'sgators enough for fencing r.
An exchange has discovered that Scott
ische is corruption Of the words aScotcb
itch" and that the famous dance owes
its name to person afflicted with the
Scotch plague aforesaid. Awful
"What are wages, here7" asked a laborer
Of boy. 81 don't know, sir" aWhat
does your father get on Saturday night"
.Get,", said the boy, ''why, tight as a
brick"
A SON of the Emerald Isle, on being
told that friend of his had put his mon.
ey into the stocks, replied "Och, an its
there ye are: troth an never had far
thin in the stocks: but, be the holy poker.
I've had me brogues there oftncr than /
liked, sure"
Mr.. Albert Smith wrote once in a hotel
visitors book, his initials--"A. s." Some
wag wrote underneath, "Two-t thirds Of the
truth" a if p
s,-
Why is colt getting broke like young
lady getting married2 'Kase he is going
through bride ceremony.
Rev. j, B. Fuller, the .Boy Preacher"
is creating a sensation at Quincy, Ill. He
is only 16 years old.
MARRIED.-At Athens, PENN on the
18th ult, Mr.. James Bee to Miss Martha
Ann Flower.
A clergyman, while attending meeting
lately, called upon brother Of the cloth,
not remarkably gifted, to make prayer.
The latter being member of an entire
ly different school of theology, II excited
some talk among the more tenacious old.
fogies present. The brother performed,
however; and the inviter was taken to
task, and asked how he came to invite
him2 q =,
"Why," replied he, II thought, If it
didn't please heaven, it might please him
80 asked him."
A tipsey Irishman leaning against a
lamp post, as funeral procession was
passing by, was asked who was dead. "I
can't exactly say sur, said he, t'but I pre-
sumo it is the jintleman in the coffin"
Gainsborough, the artist was once ex.
amined as witness on trial respecting
the originality Of picture, and a counsel
lor endeavored to puzzle him by saying,-
"I observe you lay great stress ON
what you call "a painters eye,' what do you
mean by that expressionf"
ga painters eye," Gainsborough an
swered, sis to him what lawyers tongue
is to yourself!"
Ahem Rather a poser No more
questions put to that witness. A litter
among the audience, aud Counsel locked
as if he had changed color rather suddenly.
"Well, Pat, Jimmy didn't quite kill you
with brickbat, did he p "No, but l wish
he had" "What for 2'' $50 could see
him hanged, the villianl"
The Sunday Atlas, in fit of revelation
airy enthusiasm, says
"Hurrah for the girls of '76l'
Thunder - cries New Jersey paper,
''thats too darned old. No, no-hurrah
for the girls of III"
An old lady, being asked what she
thought OF the mutiny in India, replied
that to her mind, it was extremely "Hin.
doodicious. Ai
Every married man (says an exchaDge)
should let the wife have the management
of the house department, and give her, as
Secretary, the control Of the different
bureaus. Don't let her have anything to
do with the war department.
Upon this another exchange queries as
follows:
How, then, is she to bring the Infantry
up to the "breast works. we should like
to know, in case Of an "attaok Of the
mcasles?n 1t is evident the writer Of the
above has not been in many "engage-
ments," W H
aGo it Bobtail, he's gaining on you,v Is
now rendered classlcally, Proceed Rob
ert's extremity, the gentleman in the rear
is approximating to an inconyenient vi
cinity to the longitudinal appendage which
subtends the lower extensions Of your
caudal elongation."
~ declare, mother" said petted little
girl in pettish way, otis too bad, mother:
YOU always send me- to bed when / am
not sleepy, and you always make me get
up when ! am sleepy" rsa-t 80
Coon REPLY.-A line in one of Moore's
songs reads thus:--