davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1858-04-21

was awake in moment, and begged
the Judge, if it would be no violence
to his feelings, to relate the dream, as
all would like to hear it. The Judge
still declined, as it might hurt the feel
ings of others.
'Oh, do tell it, Judge-we must have
it, " urged the landlord, and the compa-
ny joining in, the Judge proceeded as
If he were about to sentence a criminal
to be hung:
"Well, [ dreamed last night two law
yers and myself had retired to private
room to divide among us fee received
from hard case, which had been car
ried through with a mighty deal of ly-
ing Oh all hands, While We were set
ting the division, in steps the devil,
who, without any formalities, said he
had come for us-we had told him
enough, and if he left us any longer we
might repent, and 50 he'd lose us. We
did our best to persuade him to let us
Oft, but he was inexorable, till at last I
ventured to ask if he would take a sub
stitute
"'W hom do You offer p he asked.
"'Austin Edwards l said, keeper
of the Elberton Hotel
"Good! he'll do said he, send him
down. I'll take tim for all three Of
your"
The table was in a roar, and the land
lord was cured for time at least, Of
has habits of overdrawing. He passed
away years since, and Judge Dooly is
gone, too; 50 there is no harm done in
telling the story.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1858-04-21
GRAND RAPIDS, WIsCONsIN--VEDNEsDAY, APRIL 2

buildings and machinery were construc-
ted, and all things done necessary to
the successful prosecution Of the work
in its various branches. No pains or
expense seem to have been spared in
completing the work in a substantial
and durable manner. The work was
commenced, the wheels creased, and
all things put in successful operation,
when the discovery was made that a
city 50 far from the sea coast, situated
in country where there is not enough
food produced to supply the wants of
the residents, and where the raw mate
rial has to be transported a great dis
tance and the manufactured article re-
turned by the same route, was no place
for the location Of a Navy Yard. A
tender was made by Congress of the
grounds, with all the improvements, as
a gift to the city, which munifcent gift
was rejected by the euagrate5ul city au
thorities. How the matter terminated,
or whether it is settled at all, | am TN
able TO say. A few dilapidated field
pieces-twentyfour pounders-momt-
ed on decaying wooden carriages, stand
overlooking the river as monuments of
folly.
A similar attempt was made by a
private company, to push free labor in
to a country where to work is consid-
cred disreputable. 4 large and extern
slve cotton factory was erected here,
supplied with all the necessary machin-
cry, and factory girls were imported
from the eastern factories, and all things
put III successful operation. It was
soon discovered that not only many of
the difficulties that arose III the Navy
Yard enterprise, were in the way, but
that the factory girls were fowned up
on by the Southern bellies and insulted
by the chivalrous youth who thought
there could be no responsibility without
wealth. The enterprise was soon aban-
doned, and the closed and deserted
buildings-the walks overgrown with
grass and weeds, evince but too plainly
the effect of the blightinr, whitening
curse Of human oppression upon the
prosperity and Improvement Of coun-
try in which it is practiced.
Yours truly, L.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1858-04-21
A Three-Minute Horse.

A certain Dr.. -~- had a horse. so
thoroughly used-up as to be worthless
the onl Y good ''points'' remaining be-
mg where his bones distended the skin.
SO he prepared to dispose of him, in
this wise -
lie went to the stable with a lath,
and gave the animal regular rib-bast-
ing three times a dav, until, finally,
whenever the excited horse heard his
step, or saw his face, he would begin
to kick and plunge like one possessed.
Arrived at this point, the Doctor bor-
rowed the decorated banket of a well
known nag, called "White Feather,''
and enyeloping the remains of his horse
IN 1t, sent him to auction to be sold.
with directions to the auctioneer to s'let
him slide' if he could get bid of fortv
dollars for him.
In the meantime the brute was ad-
vertlsed as "a celebrated horsc-kind
IN harness--he made his mile inside of
three minutes-Was handy at the plow
and sold only because the owner had
no further use for HIM"
On the day Of sale, crowd gather
ed-mong which was the Doctor,
whom the horse no sooner saw than he
began to manifest signs of uneasiness,
which the auctioneer denominated life
and spirit'
The first bid was seventy-five dollars,
and soon run up to one hundred-one
hundred and tWenty-tive-one hundred
and fifty, at which price the nag was
pronounced sold.
The buyer, down-easter, paid the
money, and harnessed the spirited ami
nal to wagon, informing the crowd
that he was going to Cape Cod, where
he himself belonged.
He had not been absent more than
an hour, when he was seen vending his
way back, not having got so far as Cape
Cod! He told the auctioneer that he
had returned to make enquiries, which,
perhaps, it would have been as well to
have made before he bought the horse.
'1ou say this animal has made his
mile in three minutes %
eyes"
''May be allowed to inquire how
long since?''
''Certainl y-within three weeks"
Gone question more-where did he
do it?''
CON the Rutland Railroad cars-the
down grade! :"
The present owner made up his mind
lnstanter, that the term "soId" had a
double Specification.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1858-04-21
A straightforward Prayer.

The New York Sunday Dispatch re-
lates the following revival incident:
A curious incident occurred at one
Of the prayer meetings last week An
unctious brother, who, it appears, is a
kind of out door clock for one of the
lottery swindles, situated in q Broad
way basement not far from the Park,
and who has long been noted as one Of
the hardest kind Of characters, and most
dangerous order Of Methodists, after
chucking out in nasal spasms a general
confession Of his sins, and exulting over
his curious conversion, besOught the
prayers Of the assembly in his behalf
His request was Immediately compli-
ed with by a younger brother, who
seemed well posted on the past career
and present mode of life Of the oily con-
vert.
This gentleman instantly set up a
fervid prayerin behalf Of brother L.
He implored for mercy for the corpu-
lent sinner, although as he averred,
''Brother lis long life Of fraud
seemed beyond the reach ofmercy that
was not infinite in its nature" Broth
er L-rather WINGED at his literal
compliance with his own solicitations,
but quite regardless of this, the scath-
ing supplicator went on. "Thou know
est" he proceeded, ''that no sinful
wretch stands in greater need OF mer-
cy than Brother L. Forgive him
his robbery Of the widow and the poor;
forgive him his long life Of fraud! Turn
his heart this day from lusting after the
nefarious profits of the policy business.
Awaken him to a knowledge of the sin
fulness of false pretences, and the pur-
chase of stolen goods, and inspire him
with a determination to pay his debtsn'
Quite a lively alteration ensued out
side in few minutes afterwards, be-
tween Brother land the gentleman
who had prayed so pointedly in his be-
half, which would probably have termi-
mated unpleasantly but for the interfer-
ence Of an unconverted policeman.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1858-04-21

JUDGE DooLY AND THE LANDLORD

JUDGE DooLY AND THE LANDLORD
Judge Dooly, an eminent juristin Geor-
gia, forty years ago, was a great wag
as well as q great Judgc-witty as well
as wise. His gravity gave effect even
to his jokes, and these were more fre-
quent than his decisions. One of his
fanciesw were to "take people down. who
were in the habit Of e4aggeration. The
way he used up Austin Edwards, keep
er Of the hotel at Elberton, is caution
to all story tellers, of whom Austin was
the prince. He always told the whole
truth, and more. at was material" he
said, che liked uncommon things better
than common ones-'twas a heap more
amusin', anyhow One morning at
breakfast, this long bow landlord had
been relating one Of his extraordinary
yarns, and Judge Dooiy being at the
hotel, asad listening to the story, sat in
solemn silence until it was over, and
then remarked that he had an awful
dream in the night and was very much
depressed this morning. The landlord
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1858-04-21

PpAvEPc roD rTurnDoDr ID

PRAYERS FOR THEODORE PARKER.
The Boston Bee gives specimens Of
prayers sent up toward God, from the
daily business prayer meetings of that
city, for the conversion of Theodore
Parker to faith in the doctrine of eter-
nal damnation, and for the consequent
salvation Of his soul. They are report
ed verbatim, from the mouth which
gave them utterance.
90, Lord, if this man Parker) is a
subject Of grace, convert him and bring
him into the kingdom of thy dear son;
but if he is beyond the reach of the
saving influence of the gospel, remove
him out fthe way, and let his influence
die eoith hinan'
90, Lord, send confusion and dis
traction into his Parker's) study this
afternoon, and prece12t his finishing his
preparation for his labors tomorrow
or if he shall attempt to desecrate thy
holy day by attempting to speak to the
people, meet him there, O, Lord, and
confound him so that he shall not be
able to speak,
'Lord we know we cannot argue
him Parker down, and the more we
say against him, the more the people
flock after him, the more they love and
revere him. o, Lord, what shall be
done for Boston, if thou dost not take
some OF these matters in hand!"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1858-04-21
-GDs@Se~

A BOLD FIGURE-Sp1rgeo,a out
0one.-The Clarksburg VA Register
furnishes the following, as a specimen
of strong language from the pulpit
The Rev. Samuel Clawson, a minister
of the NJ E. Church, who is very ec-
centric, and has a very vivid magma
ton, in speaking Of one present during
of his discourses who was a Universal
ist, gave all expression to the following
bit Of eloquence:
'sThank God, the day is not far dis
tant when you will be chained down to
Hell's brazen floor, and the Devil, with
his three-pronged harpoon, will pierce
your reeking heart, and pile the red
hot einders upon you as high rs the pyr-
amids of Egypt, and try oatt the pride
Of your fat TO grease tie gesdyeo'ss ot
he'll"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1858-04-21
Too Religious to go to Church.

We sympathize to some extent with
the sentiments contained in the follow
ing article. We know the writer to be
an honest and sincere Christian, and
also an enthusiastic worshiper in the
Temple Of Hygeia. If the picture is
overdraWn IN any respect, the moral is
good. We would, however, recon-
mend our friends to 90 to church as
heretofore, and exercise all the influence
possible in reforming the unwholesome
habits complained of. Life Illustrated.
We used to 90 to church. No cold
was SO severe as to chill our religion ;
no heat was intense enough to dissolve
it. We religiously believed in church
going. We joined the church; we are.
now, a member Of q church, in good
standing. But now we seldom 90 in
side Of the church doors. Why? Be-
cause Of the impurities they shut in
We are too religious to go to church.
W e have too great reverence for the
laws of God, thus to place ourselves in
such false relation to them. Pure air
is necessary to healthy existence; and
III churches where the word is preached
with ordinary intelligence and feeling,
the attendance is such that the air, if
pure at the commencement of the ser
vices, soon becomes unfit to breathe.
just as service commences in this
city, go into the churches-those even
which are said to be well ventilated d
and you at first feel as if in danger of
slftocation, so slrcharged with impuri-
ties and unfit to sustain life is the air
shut within them. Is the homage Of
fered God, under such circumstances.
acceptable? "By their fruit ye shall
know them ~
Sometimes, inclination conquers com
mon sense, and we go to church in spite
Of our conviction of It's sinfulness. But
when, after service, we emerge from
the foul air within the holy (?) place,
into the fresh atmosphere Of the outer
world, we feel as a culprit who has
sinned against light and knowledge
that We have done what we dare not
ask God to bless.
In this city are clergymen gifted with
eloquence and plety above their fellows,
whose sermons expand the mind and
elevate the soul-ministers who love
men and commune with God; vet,
when one listens to them, he, at the
same time, inhales the clements of dis
ease. Can the soul be cured and the
body be made sick at the same time?
When Will houses devoted to relig-
ious uses be so constructed as to con
tain onl y such air as will not poison
those who worship in them?
Christians. dedicate to God and
Christ no more houses in which impur-
tiles can accumulate, and unclcanness
be concentrated
Now, it is difficult to find public al
tar at which the believer can worship
without committing physiological sin.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1858-04-21

THE SLANDERED.-A venerable old
man says; 'Iet the siandered take
comfort-iti is only at fruit trees the
thieves throw stones"
The old man is right: Who ever saw
thieves throw stones at the birch, ma
pie, OF elm tree? The more fruit the
tree bears, and the richer it is, the more
it is likely to attract the attention Of the
thief.
6 No man that tries to do his duty to
his fellows, and endeavors to live to
bear the fruits Of true religion in his
daily conduct, can for moment sup
pose that he will pass along through life
without being slandeFed more or less.
Such man will of necessity have some
enemiesi and these enemies viii trv In
every way to injure him, and, among
others, they will not be slow in stirring
up the polluted waters Of defamation
and slander.
a man who has no enemies is mere
ly a milk and water nothing. We
would not give three figs for such a
man.
He who is anything, who makes his
mark in the world, who does good, will
have enemies; and, if he have them,
he viii be sure to be slandcred.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1858-04-21
From Life Illustrated.
What I Saw.

saw king upon his throne
The regal scepter swaying,
And princely courtiers bending low
To him their homage paying.
At his command the forest fell
And the city grew apace;
The navy rode the ocean waves
And ruled the billowy space.
From out the mine the precious ore
Came like rivers flowing;
And bright the crowns the monarch wore,
His kingly title showing.
At length he died, and princes wept
Ger fate's relentless dealing,
And kissed the silken-vestured clay,
Beside the coffin kneeling.
History seized its tireless pen
TO garner a deathless name;
And twined around the mighty dead
The glittering wreath of fame!
An angel lifted then the veil
That covers the hearts of men;
And there / saw what | would not see
For the whole wide world again.
city sprang from the lonely wood
And rich its gilded carving;
But the workmen died for want of food,
A'ed istants, too, acea'e sta,'ving!
A navy left the oceans shore,
Carrying a tyrant's fears;
But when it reached the strand again,
Twas curst with the orphans tears!
Ceaselessly flowed the mountain gold,
The seeds of plenty sowing;
And bright the fire in winters cold
Within the palace glowing
But the poor widow sat in her room,
For fuel vainly signing
Sat and froze in her tattered clothes,
And blest the time of dying
The angel dropped the crimson veil,
Such fearful secrets keeping,
And bade me look beyond the grave
Tile croo7,5esS king 'ccs mcepingt
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1858-04-21

"A gentleman, having engaged a
brick layer to make some repairs in his
cellar, ordered the ale to be removed
before the bricklayer commenced his
work. 'sOh, I am not afraid of a bar
rel of ale, SIR" said the man. "a pre-
sumo not" retorted the gentleman :;
ssbut I think barrel Of ale would run
at YOUR approach"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1858-04-21

G@ Gen. D. was more distin-
guished for gallantry in the field than
for the care he lavished upon personal
cleanliness. Complaining on certain
occasion to the late Chief Justice B
Of the suffering he had endured from
rheumatism, that learned and iisi42GI-
Gus Judge undertook to prescribe q
remedy.
"You must desire your servant he
said to the General, 'Eto place every
morning by your bedside a tub, three
parts filled with warm water. You viii
then get into the tub, and, having pre-
viously provided yourself with a pound
of yellow soap, you mustrub your whole
body with it, immersing yourself occa-
sionally in the water, and, at the end of
one-fourth of an hour, conclude the pro-
cess by wiping yourself dry with tow
els and scrubbing your person with
flesh brush"
"Why," said the General, after few
minutes reflection upon what he had
just heard, 'Ftfis seems to nse to be
nothing more nor less than washing
myseIf!'
"Well," rejoined the Judge, ':it is
open to that objection"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1858-04-21

d say, what are you about-sweep-
ING out that room?'' -"No," answers
Pat, ''I'm sweeping out the dirt, and
leaving the room"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1858-04-21
Mo&~oz~

-s'People," says modern philoso-
pher, ''go according to their brains;
if these lie in their head, they study; if
IN their belly, they eat; ifin their heels.
thew dance"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1858-04-21
THE WOOD COUNTY REPORTER.
-
Grand Rapids, wood Co., WIS.

JOHN n. BRUNDAGE, EDITOR AND PUBLISHER
f. NJ HAINES, CoRREsPoNDING EDITOR.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1858-04-21
Terms Two Dollars a-year, in advance,
RATES OF 4 OVER RTISING
Twelve lines or less is a Square,


One Square three insertions, 81 50I
One Square three months, 90
One Square six months, 00|
One Square one year, 90
One fourth column .hree months, 90
One fourth column six months, 10 90
One fourth column one year, Is 90
One half column six months, Is 90
One half column one year, 25 90
One column six months 25 90
One column one wear, 40 90
OBITUARY NOTICES per advertising rates,
CARDS in Business Directory, not exceeding
six lines, s. per year.
EsrRAY NOTICES. 81, so for one animal, and 25
cents for each additional one-paid in advance.
TRANSIENT ADVERTISING payable in advance.
LEGsE. ADVERTISEMENTS paid for when affida>
Wits are G wen.
RATES OF JOB WORK.
EullSheet Posters, first hundred, Sc 90
Each subsequent hundred 90
Half Sheet Posters, first hundred, 90
Each subsequent hundred, 90
Quarter Sheet Posters, first hundred, so
Each subsequent hundred, l 90
Eighth Sheet Posters, first hundred, 90
Each subsequent hundred, 75
Ball Tickets, according to quality, first
hundred 50 to S5 90
No Jobs issued from the office until paid for
Lewisburg chronicle. [volume] (Lewisburg, Pa.) 1850-1859, 1858-06-11
EG0h TE.ES WAY.

NOTCE! AOTICE:! NOICE.,t
TT AyING just returned fICm the CITY
with an rrU>aNr large Sicck and vel
selected. and IN rcw prepared TO sell goods
lower than can lie bought elsewhere Ca th.s
SIDE Of Philadelphia.
Hardware Hardware :! Hardware
NaiiS-y La,ches. Hinrs,'
Screws. Glass. Putty, Pants. OII-in fact
cEythiIiG ven may wantto build YOU
SCI. Gr>J-ra'e house or barn iwen,y rsr
cent. lower ibal ever before. THIS rrrt
This traEt
CARFENT here vou can get .he ce'e-
bra'cj Greeuieii Planes, Spear n Jrca>cr's
hand. renuH and rip Saws. Butchers. Bea.v's
and Brady's Chi>e!S and Plane Ircus. r7'eri
and common Braces. Brace Bus. Aucers,
Squares. GuaGes, Iron Screws, ComTa>> saws,
HamondS Hammers. &c.
Black>m!lhS IrOn-RON-IRCN-ALL
KINDS Bar, Scollcp, TIVE. Oval. Round ana
SIuarc-Ca>t Siecl. STrus and English S.ee'.
NIscS. Anyil>, Bellows, Screw Plates. eic.
HOI SEkEEPERs, Table Knives and
Forks. tarvCrS. Spoons Kettles. lamv>. Can
de>ti.k,. Coffee MILL. u-.stl = Mats Pans E,vls Sc
VAIL FIiI E-Iou viii Gu4 al tho al e,t pi,L
great many more al Ii, nALuvsIE .Np ITa~ S-5rr q
JOSEPH NFAInEN,
in the old CEAHAN stand. LEwIs II no p
THIS IrIIt ms U4Ty
Lewisburg chronicle. [volume] (Lewisburg, Pa.) 1850-1859, 1858-06-11
FOR SALE.

vINIIE residence Of the subscriber, in
Lewisburg, IN the most beautiful part 4
The borough The house Is of brick, 4lN3~
feet, with two story back buildings bullt with
out regard to cost, and in The best manncf
Brick partitions, brldgrd floors, and veutlla-
ting fue with patent register IN each room'
paiuted and papeTed throughout. II has I3
rooms, with front veranda, aud back porch
25xl2 feet, shaded by vines, and commanding
a fine view ot the SuSquehanna, and an eN-
tensIye landscape bounded by the M"niour
mountain. The cellar, IN which nothing has
ever frozen. is light, perfectly dry. aud rat
proof well Of pure spring water al me
kitchen door, with pump. a cIstefn holding
81 ho2shcGds, with The water brought INTO the
kitchen. S'abling for two carriage, Two h'r-
ses, and COW well arranged with bins, &c.
Hen house, pigeon house. tool house, smoke
house. Sc. The best grated fruit IN a<eat
quantity and variety, Just coming into bearing,
VIZ: apples, pears, plumS, cherries qnInces,
mulbeirieS, flbertS, nee .arineg. guo>cberFes.
currantS, raspberrlcs. strawberries, biackher-
rleS, &c Ornamental trees and shrubbery IN
great variety, and OF superior kinds. Eight
tlourIshiug vines of Catawha and Isabella
grape with extensive and permanent aIborS.
Garden 100 feet square, IN fine order, with
dry gravel walks and neat ed2incS. The fruit
and sbrubbcry mostly from Bulsts nursery
near Philadelphia.
The lot contains nearly three acres, Of which
from two to three thousand dollars worth OF
building lots nigh, be sold, and still leave
space equal to four or FIVE ordinary building
lots. including The cutbuiidirgs and most OF
the fruit and sErubbery.
Terms one tenth ca-h, and the remainder
in five equal annual paymentS-S2,u may
remain IN permanent mortgage 10 the I'm
verSity. Possession given al anr time.
Iune. 1855 HOWARD MALCON.
Al>o-three lots near the Cemetery, two o:
40 feet front each and one Of so feet; the usu
al depth. -
Lewisburg chronicle. [volume] (Lewisburg, Pa.) 1850-1859, 1858-06-11

r-rbysicians will take nOti-r. that hereafter the
Auditors will aliOH their bills FIR attendance upon
poor person. unless they produce ~ directions IRON
the Dy,rserrs Of the Poor iOr cIc attendance IN each
particular case.
borough accounting officers will also take notice that
hy q resolution the Town Council their accounts must
l audited aud adjusted by the lst day e" March III ea'h
and every year hereafter
WI the undersigned Auditors Of tl- Borough Of Lew
istuT Du E.IiFi that We have examined and hultri
thu lrrrun: Accounts oi the different Officers Of said
Borough and iind the same correct and allow them
Witness our hands and seals this Ist day Of June, A. d.
Is5s JACOB II. BROWN, lLs.1
A. DONEIioW ER -.
CHAS :. Critics, It's.
ATTEST: JOHN u LINN, Clerk.
Nts. Mr Kennedy, School Tax Collector, has pi his
balance. IA tull-.Iuue = IsJS. WI. JONES, Treas.
Lewisburg chronicle. [volume] (Lewisburg, Pa.) 1850-1859, 1858-06-11

tcrl emH..icuci 10 WELD 10 any new demand
of slavery; If defeated, II will check anu par
alylc theIr movements.
Lewisburg chronicle. [volume] (Lewisburg, Pa.) 1850-1859, 1858-06-11
CENTRCVELLE HOTEL.

ItHTFttlNe, NNpGfr To, To.
YNHE undersigned takes particular pleasure
IN announcing 10 his friends that he has
taken the above Hotel, and is ever ready and
waiting to
Accommodate ALL both great and sniaIl
Who may kindly favor him with a call
u. WEiDENSAUL. ps,rrirr0E,
April iNdS Successor 20 b. SHOWERS