The Washington union. [volume] (City of Washington [D.C.]) 1857-1859, 1858-11-21
WASHINGTON.

Il
Washington CITY, the capital of the nation the home
during term time OF the President land also the tempo
rary residence of five hundred and ten men who conf
IDENTIFY expect to be President and the seat Of the United
States Gas Works technically called Congress- is stia-
ted in the District of Coumbaa territory covering
horizontal surface of ten miles square, and extending per-
pendiculary all the way through AS every place in the
city is from threequartss Of mile to mile ana three
quarters from everywhere else, Washington is called in
Fourth ouly oraons and that style of literature gen.
orally, "the city of magnificent distances 1t derives
its name of Washington from celebrated continental
officer who built the pine hints and forced his way through
very hard winter at Valley Forge and made Cornwnllis
acknowledge the at York Town. The principal
public buildings of the city are the Patent once where
the Yankees granted the exclusive ght 10 manuiac
ture and sell Indiaubber baby jumpers, doublegea
rat traps Railways Ready Reliefwhich is warranted to
relieve you of your money If nothing ese other
valuable inventions of the age the General Post Once,
where they superntend the mismanagement OF the va
rous mail routes the country the National Treasury,
an institution of learning which has graduated more men
in the art of swindling the governments than any Ten
similar or dissniiar institutions in the world and the
City Jail which is the only public bnlding in Washing
ton which is really devoted honest purposes and that
is devoted purposes at ALL both the permanent ana
residents or the city being too deeply engaged
In their scaltes to think OF furnishing other peo
pie for theirs.
There are two monuments In Washington--one OF red
granite erected to the memory Of Smthson at his OWL
expense and to the folly, penurousness, and
gratitude Of the American people The latter Is ABOUT
ixty feet high with upward Though hopeess cxpecta
tons of five hundred feet 1t is commonly called
the Washington or National Monument. General Taylor
caught his death 1850 at the laying OF the corner
of this structure 1t hardly probable that any OF his
successors will perish at the laying of the cap stone II
is much more probable that Presidents will be done away
with at least six weeks before that event
The imports of Washington consist principally OF ofhce
seekers and pick-poccts doth of which are frequently
combined in one) and fast women who indirectly make
half the laws that put through Congress- Its exports
are disappointed politicians and whiskey. The latter
Is generally bottled IN members OF Congress for anspor
tation.
Taking IL altogether Washington Is an exceedingly
hard place The public there are all very honest
and upright howeyerthat Is, until they go home and
turn against the administration, when of course, they
become like Stephen A. Douglas and John w. Fomey,
the most consumnate scoundrels unhung We have the
authority OF number Of administration papers for saying
SO. During the sitting of Congress- though mnumer-
able murders aud robberies committed in the city;
but as body there above suspicion and wouldnt
hurt hair of your head take the smallest coin from
the treasury under the most favorable circumstances
the perpetrators invariably escape detection Under
these benign auspices it is wonder that cannot or
has not been said of Washington recently said OF
one horse town in Kentucky, that it, at the last day.
Gabriel should happen to light there first the resurrec
on would be indefinitely postponed for some one OF the
inhabitants would swndlc him out of his horn before he
could make a single toot a.