Marshall County Democrat. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1855-1859, 1858-07-29

speech to the company-short but to the
pint; and was received with applause. 1t
was addressed to the crowd, and was to
this effect: Gentlemen, let's have some
lager"
By this tine my friend had by some
mysterious process become mysteriously
multiplied, and there were fifty Damphools,
and they all accepted the invitation; and
we had the lager; there were forty glasses,
and "A trying to make the circuit of the
room, and touch my glass to every one of
theirs. l fell over table which very i'm
pertinently stepped before me, and as 1
went down I knocked small Dutchman
into the corner; then L partially recovered
myself and sat on his head, thenI demand.
ed an instant apology; then l called for six
glasses of lager, and when the girl brought
them all in one hand, l tried to take them
all in one hand, but broke three; then
tried TO drink of the remaining three all at
once. and in so doing took an involuntary
shower bath: then tried to pay for the
whole fifty glasses and the damage. with a
dime and Spanish quarter and demanded
that he should give me my change in gold
dollars. There seemed to be some diff.
Guilty about this, and if | hadn't known
that lager isn't intoxicating. l should have
thought the man was drunk. l was on
the point of calling in a policeman to arrest
him for swindling, when Damphool came
and explained the matter, and his thick
head at last comprehended that was right.
Little tamborine girl came alongsend
wanted money for man who was perform
ing with great deal of skill on crank
outside; felt generous and tried to put
Damphool in the tamborine, under the i'm
preston that he was half dollar; finally
presented the girl with my compliments,
two cigars and penny. with which she
went off satisfied.
Then thought I'd make love to pref
ty girl, who had just brought me glass of
lager Ca beverage in that vicinity. and
wi ich does not posses any intoxicating
power. so pressed to my heart for two
minutes what supposed to be her hand.
and Did not find cut it was Der petticoat till
tried to kiss it, and cot my mouth full of
yarn; looked at pretty girl with indigna-
ton, and asked her what she meant by
such conduct Then had mug of lager
| "a liquid which does not intcxicate, and
which is much used by the German popu-
/ lation.
Then the music struck up. When saw
the fellows with the crooked brass horps
up to their mouths. l thought they were
drinking some kind of beer that l had mt
had any of, SO l snatched the trombone
and ordered the girls to Gil it up immedi-
ately. Then l volunteered a song. The
company all kept quiet TO hear me, and l
began to whistle old dog Tray, with inter
walls OF five minutes between the notes.
then had glass of lager (a,kind of beer
much fancied by the foreign element of our
city, and which does not iRtoxicate, and |
abused the waiter because he didu't bring
me gravy on it, Then | had another, into
which poured vinegar, mustard. and fine
cut tobacco, under the delusion that was
making brandy punch. Then | remem-
bered that | had resolved not to drink any
thing that would intoxicate, so heroically
threw my brandy punch into the fire. and
called fora glass of lager "a drink which
the early Teutons introduced into this
country, and which does not intoxicate.)
Then the music struck up again, and
wanted the alligator waltz, Alligator re-
fused to speak to me. Thought I'd take
of my Goa. and whip alligator into decon-
cy, but as l was trying to accomplish this
enterprise, lost my balance and sat down
in plate of ham and mustard belonging to
fierce German. whom | instantly seized
by the mus.ache, whereupon he knocked
me down. Resolved that I'd kill fierce
German Immediately, and explained to him
at length that if he'd let me getup. I'd cut
his head off with an oyster knife. Then
Damphool came and pacifed me, and took
the fierce German away. Got up and had
some lager, the whole Of which Ipoured
into my bosom, as l was tying to explain
to the bystanders that lager "a pleasant
compound Of unknown iugredients) isn't,
intoxicating.
Suddenly again determined to dance,
and started off with that intention. have
nindistinct recollection that about this
-tsde there wH a great upsetting OF tables
and smashing of glasses. but really can
not undertake to say whether fired loaf
of bread through the window before l
threw the castor bottles at the fddlers or
not; or whother that innocent demonstration
was not preceded by my breaking all the