Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1858-09-21
By w. d. WALLACE.
BebtaiPs Great Prize Stsry!
THE DOOMED MONA RICH:
- Or, the fiend Cedfish.


CHAPTER
1t was night nowhere, and nowhere was as
dark as a bottle OF ink in barrel of pitch at
the bottom of a well, and forty -four Thousand
times darker than the concentrated darkness of
forty thousand midnights, when upon throne
OF petrihed turtle soup, stood the mighty Gen
gulphus, monarch Of the Fe Fo Fl Fun Islands,
eating slice Of buttered beeswax, occasionally
wetting his lips by drinking fuidieal wrought
iron sheet anchors, huke foremost
Around him stood eighty-two thousand nine
hundred and eighty seven and a half Courtiersu
Bring forth the whangdoodle and place il
on the hewgag" exclaimed he in a terrific
voiee, at the same time cutting off a courtier' .
head with the sharp edge Of an illuminated
cotton bale.
CHAPTER H.
The whangdoodle was placed upon the bey-
gsg-but before we 90 further let Us take a
glance at the political state Of America at the
time our story opens We were involved in a
war with Mexico, and Gen. Scott was carrying
our victorious flag through the halls of the
Monte losers. General Washington, COM
manding the homo army, had formed june
tion with Christopher Columbus at Nauyoo.
and defeated the combined forces of England.
France aud Hindoostan in asanguinary retreat
on Bungtown heights. John G. Fremont Pres
ident of the United States, had appointed
James Buchanan Governor Of Cape Cod and
Napoleon Bonaparte, as Mayor Of Bunker Hill,
assisted by Lieutenant General Barner O'Twig,
ger, OF Ireland, was preparing for q descent
upon tories at Cerro Gordo while DIR. Jane, u.
>. Surgeon, was constructing strong fort at
CAIRO, armed with chain-pump and one hun
dred OF bis Carminative Balsam ..t.
Under these tremendous circumstances, no
WONDER the men and women of the nineteenth
century were highly intellectual, and, gener-
ally speaking, born when they were young.
N IN vUoa n, -,
CHAPTER III. ..''
Inc whangdOOdle was placed upon the hew-
gag Dismsy and terror sat upon the connie
nances OF the nobility. Lord DE Mona invol-
UNFAIRLY clutched the Prince BlOwhushb's Goa I
tail, and the Countess of Fizfum disappeared
Historically within her hoops, while the bold
Count de Scratch, hitherto the brayest of the
brave, threw himself at the foot of the throne,
and elevated one leg as signal Of the distress
But the mighty Gengulphus was unmoyed.
Drawing golden wire safety fuse from his
bosom. be was In the act Of attaching one end
OF 1t to the whangdoodle when-Oh! horror of
horrors. he beheld in one corner of the room his
beloved Selleh located in the arms of Fee tile
STash Bosky, Envoy Extraordinary from the
CHAPrERIy.
To say Gengulphus was angry would be but
an indifferent statement of the truth. He was
in rage. He couldn't contain himself and con-
sequently boiled over In torrents that formed
puddles Of wrath at his feet He foamed, rayed,
ripped and tore, stamped, rolled kicked, and
roared. At last seizing batteriny ram by the
horns, he made furious push at the guilty pair.
CHAPTER " r..
Die shrieked Gengulphus, as he twirled
the fearful instrument above their heads but
alas in its swift descent il came in contact with
Baron de BOosey's pipe, and glancing at right
angles, Glove asunder the massive door leading
to the Royal Menageriei Birthstone and tor
pedoes. thusdered Gengulphus-but he was
too late. Ere he could again raise the huge
weapon, fierce demoniaeal howl ran throu oh
the rooms, and the next moment an infuriated
grizzly Goldfish ran madly forth from the de-
molished door and buried its deadly fangs i'm
the seat of the mighty Gengulphus' inexpressi-
bles! He uttered sharp cry of pain-made
one desperate effort to shake off the monster
and then fell to the floor as dead as a June bug
IN January.
CHAPTER W.
But little more remains to be told SelIeh
soon after the death of Gengulphus, stabbed
herself with bed wrench, and her paramour,
Fee tile Swssh Bosky, becoming stricken with
remorse, buried himself in pot of porter
heels up. The Countess Fiz Fun eloped with
an Egyptian mummy in a good state of preser-
walton, and the Count de Scratch, having lost
the whole Of his fortune In playing "Simon
says wig wsg," with Lord de Nome. he was
forced to emigrate West where he enlisted as
orderly sergeant to lime kiln. and was short.
iy afterwards killed by the accidental bursting
OF cabbage head.