The south-western. [volume] (Shreveport, La.) 1852-1870, 1858-11-03

So fll-fll to the toast
TO which my cupI lift: II
Here's " Him we love the most"
Here's " Man-God's next best lsift!"
There can be no convicting proof that money
worship, unkyism and coterie feeling haze by far to-
great an influence in this country, than found in thu
fact that man who has any Of these social protec
tions is seldom or never brought to Justice Let
man be murderer, and if he has wealth he worm.
in some mysterious manner through THE nneshes o
the law and escapes. Nobody is to blame, Of course
only-he escapes. Pickpockets regularly chron
icled caught, with the remark that sshis person
is frequently arrested but somehow is never brought
to trial. Hotel thieves, with dozen indictments
hanging over their heads, and untried and notorious
thiefs of thousands of dollars worth of property al
their backs, travel about from city to city, and when
arrested are squabbled for by rival functionaries
as yielding good pickings. Finally, rsscals, who
have robbed and ruined widows and orphans to a
vast amount, slip silently into oblivion and if any
presuming hand ventures to call the attention of the
public to the fact, of those interested in con-
cealing the delinquencies Of backsliding brother
raise cry of cruelty and declare that they have no
desire to set an example Of persecution! The man
who has party, though that he be weak one,
stands at present, virtually, here any man of in
fuence was in ancient Rome who had around him a
few clients. In fact, it is really refreshing to see
from time to time that in England or in France some
rascal OF the respectable order is occasionally pun
lshed, though those countries where distinctions
OF class are legally recognised.
II is painful fact that far as the sdministra
ton Of justice is concerned great cities present
degree Of immunity for arstocratc criminals and a
virtually established set Of privileged classes which
ls without parallel in Christendom. v The claim to
exemption is not confined to pickpocEets aud coun-
terfeters Wherever a coterie Of any description
exists which holds its head up before the public in
any manner, there too glides in the delicious self
natterpg sensation that its members are exempt
from rules which bind ordinary humanity. There
is much which IS wrong going around us, but
nothing so productive OF crime as the assurance
which most offenders, young old, generally Sc
cure to themselves that if detesed, they have many
friends and Influence, which will get them off
few days since, gentleman, being beyond the
limits Of his neighborhood inquired of pert negro
i the road be was travelling led to certain place.
Cuftte gave the required information, but seemed Gu
rious to know who the stranger was as ell as his
occupation. For the fun Of the thing the traveller
concluded to humor ebony little, and the following
dialogue ensued:
My name -, and as to the business follow, if
you are at all smart, you can guess that from my
. spPsa'an'e--ssn' you see that am timber cut
"No, boss, you no timber cutter"
"An oyerseer, then"
s'No, sir, you no look like one"
what say you to my being doctor?'
Don't think 50 boss, dey don't ride il sulkey"
well, how do you think will do for preacher?'
u sorter specs you is dat, sir"
"Pshaw Cutfee, you are greater fool than took
you for-don't look more like lawyer than any
thing else?"
IN Stree, Bob, you don't dat"
'Why, Cuffee?"
"Why now, you see, boss, Use bin ridin' wild you
for more ma mile, an you haint cussed any, an
lawyer always cusses."
Among the mysteries of nature have found none
80 deep and unfathonable as that of woman's age
II is "past finding out" know my horses age by
looking at his teeth, but who tell the wears of
woman BY denticular examination? In cutting
Gn Not \.
ure by the rings of woody tissue which have been
annually deposited, but there is ring to reveal
woman's age, however, long she may have been a
BELLE Those noisy but convenient appendages to
the rattesnakes tail show how long it has lived
but woman has rattle to guide us in our inquiry
she wisely threw away her rattle in the days of in
fancy.
My friend Smith is something of a geologst, and
can tell you the eras and the.ages during which
great rocks and mountains were produced he talks /
grandly Of preadamite layers and formations; but
strange to say, he can't tell you the age of his wife
Mrs. Smith loves him dearly, but he can never per-
suade her to divulge this secret Smith has, he told
me, ceased to press the subec-from his geological
studies he has obtained fearful impression of the
effects OF volcanic eruptions-[ Gossip. |
1t is not often that occurrences of private char
acter should be published to the world, but know
ing the kind nature of our friend who guilty of
perpetratiDg the following good joke, we will take
the liberty Of relating it: A week or two since he
formed the resolution Of leaving the city for eds
tant lands" Having made the preparations for his
journey, he proceeded to take kindly leave Of his
landlady, and friends assembled at the boarding
house, the evening before his departure Taking
the sorrow ul hostess by the hand he acknowledged
the many kindnesscs of which he had been a reeip-
ent while living beneath her roof and with protes
tations of affectonate membranes of them babe
her farewell In like manner he babe adieus to the
remainder of the company assembled at the tea table,
then turning with a saddened countenanee to the
lower end of the festa board, he advanced to dish
containing solitary mackere, whose sailed form
had become familiar by several days acquaintance.
After muely gazing upon it for several moments, he
it the following pathetic speech: Fare-
WE'LL old acquaintance it grives me deeply to leave
times and oft the best of friends are
forced to part. But added he, with a smile, I'll see
you next fall, when RETURN" Memphis Avalanche.
Young have lately written to u.s. asking
sShau we marry possessing only small means?' If
the means are adequate to meet the wants of the man
and the future wife, why not? But they should be
sufficient for this, else the painful consequences
nay ensue. Moderate means ample for the real
of life, too which ought to satisfy human
beings, SO far as externas are concerned; insurng
social and domestic enjoyment; meeting the real pur
pose of existence-thelr own advancement and that
# others. But have enough for this Have home
'oung men, before you have a wife. .
At least have means to provide one. You have
10 business with an Eve till there is paradise to
,lace her in. Secure the garden, and the Eve will
ollow. If you unable to provide ali Eden, who f
ught to trust you with an Eve! Sacred as we re-
,ard love- do not believe in dvoreing it frbm
aon sense This experiment is generally fatal to
10Th happiness and responsibility. Wake from mere
ream life; exert your energies; procure means by
ONE kind Of honest labor; home; then ask
our own heart, and the girl phrenologcally best
dapted to you, the question, Shall marry
The late eccentric John Holmes used frequently,
il his addresses to different juries, to explain the
neaning OF the phrase naked truth" relating the
blowing fable: Truth and Fasehood travelling one !;
Tarm day, met at river, and both went oathe at
he same place. Falsehood coming first out Of the
alter, took his companions clothes and left his own
lie raiment, and then went on his way. Truth
oming out of the water, sought in vain for his
roper dress-disdaining to wear the garb of False
God. Truth started all naked, in pursuit of the
lief, butnot being swift of foot has never overta-
en- the fugitive. Ever since he has been known as
aked Truth
aPure pickerel oil is advertised as cure for deaf
esq. The acute sense Of hearing possessed by this
ii must have led to the discovery Of the wonderful
ropertes of the oil in the way the potent fact
lat goldfish were never troubled with coughs or II
Ids though exposed to the seyerest vicsitudes of
e weather. led to the use of cod-liver oil for con-
mption. :,
In Warfordsburg, recently, Mr. Helfright was u
arried Miss Julia Height both of OdtoNu, Nd as
here must be birthstone in this match. Whew.
Mans happiness is said to hang on thread.
-A.fea- Al.~ a.. l.l..