Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1858-06-30
Cheating the Printer.

a churchyard. If he had a soul, ten
thousand of its size would have more
room In mosquitoes eye than bull
frog in the Pacific Ocean. He ought
to be winked at by blind people and
kicked across logs by cripples.-Ann
Ar5or Wolyer9ne.
Amen! such being would steal the
molasses out Of sick nigger's ginger
cake, take from a drunken mans
mouth his last chew Of tobacco, walk
at night through the rain to deprive
blind sheep Of its fodder: travel fifty
miles on fasting stomach to cheat
dying woman out Of her coffin, and
steal wax out Of a dead hogs ears
Such a man ought to be tied to sleeps
tail and butted to death.
Ing.
Exactly 50, and that isn't all. He
would break a surveyors level to get
out the alcohol, and his wife's watch
for the mock Jewels; bid against a
widow at her dead husbands auction.
and steal the orphans shoe strings
before day-Eght.-Tenapera,ace Ban
| 71cr.
Yes, thousands of such souls as that
mans would rattle in mustard seed
dance contradances on the point of a
wasp stlng-or march abreast through
the eye of cambria needle. A solar
microscope would fail to discover them.
and when found they would not fill the
smallest Granny in Boston
Post.
Yes, and chat amt all. Such a fel-
low would rob a lame goose's nest of
the last egg-steal a rats tail from a
blind kitten, for there is nothing low
that he would not do. He should be
tied up to broom stick and scolded
to death by old maids, and then his
bones should be made into buttons to
be worn on the breeches of convicts,-
Rising Sun Mi2vor.
That's a fact, and that amt ALL
Such sconndrel would steal the cloths
from his mothers bed on cold night,
and take his fathers coffin to ride
down hill on. 4 man like this ought
to have the seven year itch, and not
allowed to scratch.-Saturauy Ga
sette.
All the above ought to be mere pre-
limjnary suffering-the 'sproiogue to
the swelling act'' Of his final DOOM
He should be eventually consigned to
tophet, where his perpetual punishment
would be-to read the newspapersquibs
perpetrated at his expense.->Su,laay
Times.
We Will not attempt to add q sylla-
bic to this category Of mean things, as
we have not the words in our vocabu-
larry, but we freely endorse the whole.
Our friend Mile, however, who can
always put the finishing touch to any
story, or expression. says; That man
would make fire Of the family Bibls
to boil up his grandmother for soap
grease Vest Gree'aeuiNe (Pa.,) Ea-
press.
Such man would sell his mothers
soul for three cent piece, and if per-
chance he is in possession of a soul at
all, it is SO infinitely small, it will be
enabled to pass ia and ont of heavens
gate unperceived by Omnipresence eyes.
-Angel5ca Adr.
Don't talk about such fellows souls
They have none, According to the
philosophy Of some people, at the very
instant one person dies, another is born
and the soul Of one passes into the body
Of the other. When such beings as
are described above We're born, aao5ody
could haze died! Give us, fyou please
ordinary robbers, thieves and cut
threats for companions but from such
consummate scoundrels as these, ''good
Lord deliver - Woterfoaen Chron-
ic1e
Hold O., Brothers, we are astonish
ed at your talk about MEN and souls,
Of such things; they have go souls,
they are some of Satan's Cubs broke
loose from his Satanic Maiesty's do
mlnions and are not accountable things
among earth's inhabitants, nothing is
too mean for them, they would feed
and glut themselves upon the dead
bodies Of their departed friends
henosAa Tribune
Yes, thing in human form that
would cheat priRter, would stoop low
enough to steal a cold potatoe from
sick monkey, and then kick the monkey
because it wasn't candy-yes, he would
steal the screws from his wife's coffin
to screw up his conscience, or rob
heaven Of its rainbow to shoot gnats.
and would eXhume his dead wife to
steal her false teeth and rob dying
crow of its last kernel of corn, and
steal the swirl from blind sow's pigs.
Such man should undergo the penal
ty Of standing on Broadway and hay
ing his shins pealed with the ladies'
hoops, or be placed i'll the woods some
where on the Lemonweir, to be gored
to death by the musquito kingdom;
then we would get rid oftwo species of
blood suckers, for surely he is SO ven
omonus that the smallest particle of his
Blood would be sure death to anything.
-Neac Lisbon Republican.
Yes, and that amt all. Such a pup
would steal the Lords supper and wipe