The Council Bluffs nonpareil. [volume] (Council Bluffs [Iowa]) 1857-1867, 1858-06-05
AMUSING roREPEAr.

AMUSING TO REPEAT.
In looking over an ancient number Of
Harper" last Sunday week, 1.-THE wet day.
we re-read the following with plaasure:
Doctor Mordecai Mellows complains that
we have done him great wrong: First, by
taking away his good name,' and substitu-
ting therefor that Of 'Meadous,' in Darratipg
the incident where somebody stook telP of
the widow Lambkin; and secondly, by in
snuating that the widow L. subsequently
became Mrs. Doctor NJ. To place the mat
ter in its true light, he sends US his autobi-
ography, as originally published in the St.
Louis Reucille. From this we give the true
denouement of the affair between the Doctor
and the Widow:
A few evenings after the memorable
sleghride, they were sitting side by siue in
Widows snug parlor. They had discussed
neighborhood affairs, flowers, moonlight,
and all the ordinary topics, when deep
pause ensued, which was broken by the
widow Lambkin's soft voice, who appeared
to be thinking aloud:
sMellous is such pretty name oh,
my almost said something, didn't | p
'Yes,' replied the doctor, Il think it pref
tier than some other names.'
"Oh, Doctor WeuOicS!
sBut still,' says the philosophic physician,
Il didn't propose to annihilate the name Of
Ldmbk'in.'
At parting the widow murmured, 'We
have enemies here. We have indeed
'Ah, is it possible p rejoined the Doctor,
who thought that the 'We' sounded very
prettily; but still the name of Lambkin was
unassailed.
The next day the widow was summoned to
attend a sick relative who resided near her
own residence, which was at Lttleton. The
Doctor was at the door to bid her good bye.
'You may; as We shan't see each other for
Ia long while,' she whispered.
May what?'
sTake little toll at partiug.'
sAnd be sure,' she added, after toll was
taken enough for long bridge with great
many arches, ''be sure to address your letters
to North Litteton. They may be intercept
ed if sent to Littleton.
The drivers horn sounded, the stage drove
up the doctor handed the widow into the
vehicle, and kissed his hand to her as she
was whrled around the corner. 'But,'
concludes the doctor, 'as l hadn't spoken Of
writing, and as it wasn't leap year. the let
ters were never intercepted. Long life to the
widow Lambkin. But the name did not be-
come Metlo,cs after ALL
Having made the matter all right rs to
the widow, we must give the doctors nc-
count of his first case. He had assumed his
professional title, after vrey brief prepara-
ton, and was travelling BY a steamer on the
Mississippi, in search Of IL favorable location.
Among the passengers was an elderly gentle
/ man, with young wife, and their little child,
who rejoiced in the scri riptural appcllation of
Isaac.
! After dinner, the doctor was seated on the
deck, when a great cry came from the ladies'
cabin, and the mother of little key rushed
out, exclaimng:-
'Oh! where is he? For Heavens sake,
where is the doctor?'
Doctor Mellows claimed the professional
appellation, and rushed to the cabin, where,
sure enough, he found little key in bad
way. His limbs were rigid, his breathing
was difficult, and convulsions were evidently
threatened.
'Cholera infanturn, partially developed,
sad the doctor, solemnly. 'The case admits
of no delay
sCbolera 'phantom Oh, the dear child p
shrieked the mother,
Sod bless me, it may be collapse = said
the father.
'No, not that, not that replied the doctor;
'but we must try what can be done, though
we have no time to frame diagnosis prop
perly.'
'Oh, anything, doctor! If you've no dag
g,osis with you, try anything else. Oh, do
save our poor little lkey!' cried the afflicted
mother.
'May be blecdin' would do suggested the
father.
was he had no lancet. The mother wept,
the father wrung his hands. and one of the
ladies standing by exclaimed,
'Oh my 1t must be horrible to have ones
dear little children sick!'
sWhy do you make such foolish remarks?'
sharply said her sharp-faced mother.
Il 'spose Pll be married some day, ma, ,
rejoined the daughter.
'Married!' retorted the old lady. sOnly
think Girls talkin' about being married 2
The doctor, meanwhile, who owns not to
have had the remotest idea of the proper
treatment, had called for hot water, mus.
tard and pepper; while the mother would
have gone into the Mysteries, but unfortun
!; ately she did not know how to set about the
operation. IS. ill.,. ,
Poor lkey was soon disrobed, preparatory
to trying the efficacy of the mustard bath -
As he began to assume the appearance Of a
} wingless Cupid, without bow, the sympa-
thizing young ladies mcdestly retired from
the immediate scene of action.
'You amt scared about him, are you, doc.
, tor p inquired the fond mother. ~-a
sNot much; no, not much. think he'll
} get through. There, hold his head up, So,
rejoned tho man of medicine, starting fol
his state room where had deposited his medi.
cine chest, consisting of vinl II spicet
, rhubarb, which he had brought along for
his own use, in case the water should MOI
agree with him. ~. :.
'Oh. poor little Ikey!' moaned the mother
'Cholera phantom and the doctor haiu't 60,
no diagnosis Muzzie's little deary; oh, oh !.
: The warm water, the mustard and the pep
per, had began to assist nature by the tim,
} the doctor reappeared; and the patient was
in condition to swallow the rhubarb.
: There, that'll restore the action of tn.
secretory capilaries,' said doctor Mellows
} as the medicine was poured down.
q do think the poor little young one i.
BETTER said the father. sPoor sonny, was
} so feared he'd got the collapse, and the doc.
tor had no diagnosis along!'
'Oh doctor, how thankful we are,' said
the mother.
'You ought to give thanks to heaven, and
not to me, replied the doctor, very sincerely
rejecting that it was provdential that he
had no lancet, and that the child was at frs,
J incapable of swallowing; otherwise he might