Vermont watchman and State journal. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1836-1883, 1858-07-23

A SMART PEoPIE.-Not long ago, writes
correspondent Of the Knckerbocker, an at
torney with considerable "swell." but not
much brains, came to c., in Ohio, to To-
cate. One day when the post-ofiice was full,
waiting the distribution Of the mail, a half
witted fellow stepped up to him in the crowd,
and said
"Mr. Sim told you have come here
to practice law.
eyes, have"
"Well. you will find it first rate location;
l hadn't lived here four months before ] was
sued ten times"
"Well il seems to me | could live here for
five years without being sued at all.
81 presume you could" said our half-wit-
ted friend 'people here arc pretty darned
smart they don't sue fellow without he's
good for the costs"
CRows IN THD Conn FIELD, OR WHAT
PoLL" GOT FOR TELLING LtE.-Mr.
Parker Tilton, who resides at the lower part
Of the city, has had a very rougish but intel
ligent parrot residing in his family for the past
fifteen years The bird has always been al
lowed the privilege of the yard, and frequent
ly would stray into the adjoining fields. The
parrot had been taught TO keep watch upon
the crows that visited the cornfold Of Mr..
Elton to pick up his corn. which information
he had frequently impaired On Thursday
asst Poll took her usual stroll, and this
ime concluded to deceive her master, where
tpon she yocifcrated as had been her custom,
Crows in the cornfeld" Mr.. Tilton. hear
ng the voice Of his sentinel crept slowly up
20 the enclosure and leveling his gun in the
direction of the rustling corn, discharged the
ontents. On arriving at the spot, to pick up
he slaughtered depredators on his crop, to
MS great surprise he found only the remains
f his favorite parrot--NerLUypod Herald.
A Coon ss.--Lawyer-Did the de-
,ndant knock the plaintiff down with malice
repenso2
Witness-No, sir; he knocked him down
With dot iron.
Lawyer-You misunderstood mo,my friend
want to know whether he attacked him with
ny eUa intent.
Witness-Oh, no, sir; it was outside he
m
Lawyer-Oh, no; ! wish you to tell me
'hether the attack was at all preconc0ted
6ar.
Witness--No, sir it was not free COM
ut affair it was circus.
ponsiblo for the following story:
Write LcgiJiy A merchant of Mobile re-
entity wrote "A letter of Importance to a gen
'eman Of Mississippi, and in due course of
lail received a letter, with his own signature
mt out and pasted on the back Of the envel-
pc, in which the writer stated that he had
eceved his communication, but didn't know
no was the writer, nor word that was writ
m in it, and that bis only manner of finding
1e author was to cut ont the signature, and
Sc it as the address, with the hope that the
ostmaster in Mobile might be able to do
lore by it than he had.
OLD Proverbs. Better be at the head of
ne yeomanry than the tail of the gentry.
Beware of silent water.
1t is not easy to straghten in the oak, the
rock that grew in the sapling.
There is many good wife who cannot
ance or sing we'll.
You will never have friend il you must
ave one without failing
There is one good wife in the country, and
very man thinks he hath her.
~ An old Dutchman undertook to wallop
is son, but Jake upon that walloppcd him
he old man consoled himself for his defeat
rejoicing at his sons superior manhood
le said, "Vell, Shake is schmart fellow
can yip his taddy,'
~ Scott declared of these four lines by
urns that they were worth thousand ro-
ances:
clad we never oycdsa Kindly
Had we never loved sue hlindy-
Never meteor never parted
We had nc or been broken-helrted."
F'Why is bliudman's buff like sympathy
ocause it is fellow feeling for fellow
caturc.