Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1853-1862, 1858-08-26
Onioi saaAz Antritaf.
TnINes 80 I'D 800.


BR1NG OUT YOUR pOURp CAKE Among me com /
pany Of 9 grand i've dollar bali given e. NeE OF
leans, last spring. in honor Of some paouo event. /
was green un from the country VINO heo never /
before seen snything Of the kind upon e eIsne |
scale snd vas totally at less 70 understand the /
ridicnlous v.fapqled dances which prevailed. /
psvipo an enormous price for ticket, and having
zen fssting sometime in anticipation Of the supper,
his Whole thoughts we're directed 70 the efJoyment
- 49, Ire in store for him he strode up and
o-n he saloon with his hands thrust into his pan.
falcons pockets, sccOsting every waiter he enoOuu
tered with:
s'I3oy look hersl Is supper most readyi"
AT last supper Wss announced, and in rushed our
hero IN advance Of everybody, and seating himself
shout the centre Of the table, began 10 beckou
every waiter whose eye he could catch, but Nc one
much 10 his Indignation approached him until after
the ladies had been seated and served, when he was
asked Whethsr be Would take some han. 1laTEy
"HamP' exclaimed he, with most profound asto1-
ishment, s'Doyou spOse, eirTah, can est five dol
lars worth Of hqm9 BriEg " some Of goEr pound
cake, and sch ttsi"
Foote once asked a man without & sense Of tune in
him :, why are you forever humming thatfiUne7"
because it bants me-" was the reply. ehe won
der, 'assid FOote You are forever numbering u
charity sermon vas once commenced by the
Dean Of ST. Paul's as fellows; "BeneEOlenee is
sentiment common to shuman nature; never sees
Bin distress RiihoDt wishing C to reiive him" q
Have you " Blasted Hopesf'' asked lady Of
green HibrenaD, whose face was much swollen by
the tOOthaohe. . No, ma ami but have 9 blasted
toothachel'
man who was tired waiting for the Queens
message prepetrated the following:
"Wby is q COW like baby!" -
Because oBe drinks water and makes milk and
the Other"-do esn't-EveRiag Post.
Tbs SUEBAr Law The requirements Of This law
..T1~- .,1,r HrTan nrfla
The confectfonares dn open, and consequently 1T
eboys couldn't indulge in the spend
inc Eve cents We saw q little boy with candy,
thoueh-where did be get il Cigar shops wouldn't
open for love or money, and the accustomed smoke
of the weed didn't regale ihe nOstrils Of more than
q thousand fsst fellows; but we observed acQuain
lance with fresh lighted cigar in close proximity
70 8 saloon. He said be bought L on Saturday.
Lager beer saloons we're closed, for Of course the
prOprietors wouldn't violate the law, although lager
don't intOXcate man came out Of the door OF q
slageF' place. and his breath sEaelt like tar, Sc.
and he don't drink anything but lager We
couldn't understand that but OF course The Law was
observed as much as il will be hereafter The same
thing was tried in England by Oliver CromWelps
puritans touching which the cavaliers lamp0oned
the rOundheads most unpereifully, and exc most
justly. Pids a sample; -zs ...--I
"As I came to Banbury-C profans One) =.
There saw puritane one ..-...-.'
Hanging Of his o Monday, --
For killing Of q mouse on sunday e. u ZEE
.zl ss.E -a-4,. Lou. Courier.
START Boy -awell, whose pigs are thoaei
''Old soW's, sir"
''Whose SOW iG It :"
sold mans, sir" .--..-.....#E El.1s
swell, then, who is your old manf'' "a
elf you'll mindthe pigs I'll run home and ask the
old woman /"
'.Never mind, sonny. want smart bOy-vhat
can you dot"
81 can milk the geese. ride the turkeys to water,
hsmstring the grasshoppers, Gght fires for flies to
court by cut the buttons off dads coat when he is
81 prayers. keep tally for dad and man when they
scOld 81 maTk-Old woman is always ahsad.R 3
ssGot shy brothers?"
slots Of email named Bill, except Bob, his
names Sammy names Larry, but they cali me
Lazy Lawrence for shortness "
''Well, you sre most too smart for me"
Gravel on, old stick in the-mud, shsn't hire
you for boss to-day"
PADDT ON AFEIOA.-At a negro celebration lately,
an Irsbman stood listening 10 eoiOred speaker,
eXpstisting upon government and freedom; and
the orator came 10 "period" from the highest and
most poeticsl heights, the Irishman said
'Bedad, he spakes well for a nagur; din't he
nOW2" r. -la va ea e. l5sLa-le
Somebody said, de isn't negro, he is only
half negro " .
"Oniy ahalf naeur, is it, Wen if half nagur
can talk in that style, In lhinking whole Dagur
might bate the prophet jeremiah
Somebody wrote the following for the Queen 10
send to the President after the Gable broke:
Mr. Buchanan: peace on earthi another piece
overheard ...
A little urcbin in Sunday school at Buffalo was
asked:
'What did your Savior say when he knew that
Judas betrayed him?'
The urchiR scratched his head q few moments, and
then bravey answered.
Eternal vigilance is the price of liberty"