The national era. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1847-1860, 1858-11-18

the Apocalypse. Then the = lamb that was
was in the midst of the throne oened its mouth,
and began to speak to me, ane. rider me to give
an account of my deeds donesin the body
thought and thought, and tries7- and tried, with
all ms might, to remember on-< good thing to
tell; but | couldn't, to save ms-soul-; and then
I Thought I'd hold my tongue md not say any
thing at all, and that would b. next best; but
the truth seemed all at once begin to move
aud stir underneath it, just sc a worm, and
j fou nd it would speak of ITSELF % what would
and then I heard it say, I Event done any,
thing at all, but he an idle gN1ess ilirt, and a
cumberer Of the groundi' 81. 1.zere,' thought /,
young woman! Now you - done it,
! looked round for the Virgin to- sy a good word
for ME bnt she hid her face ;ssher hands, and
burst into tears. Then | sees ed to begin TO
90 down again, down, and d2wn, and down,
head. foremost, in the darky-iAs I'd been struck
blind by the light of Heaven, because / hadn't
been in the habit of looking u. to it to get used
/ to i'll land heard a great WIZ hiss coming NY
under me, nearer and nearer : I'D. felt.a harrid
heat on my forehead, growing ,s9tter and hotter
But then woke up in my owit bed, frightened
out Of my wits-and all the more because
couldn't speak intelligibly, to tell what the mat
ter was-to find that the morse was only the
buzzing in my ears, and thu Esat the flushing
3
/ plain it away quite so easils susss SO
~ :. A few DAYS after, the doctor said to me, in
new way, as if he meant it--7hey'd been try
ing to make me believe it, a along, but knew
BETTER You're doing well qGsse out of danger.
Not quite, thought |, yet 1--WE got a re
priete; and I'm glad enoughc that; but we re
all under sentence of death N i when least we
think oft, in comes the wa.a t. i mean, fol
one, to be better prepared for j the next time
| :. He had got a little Sister5i Charity to come
in and take care of me through the worst of it
and for a week or two after lSsause he thought
| needed more skilful nursing aan was likely
to get otherwise though mN ister-in-law, III
/ do her the justice to say, was = rribly shocked
and as kind as could be. l dafs say she always
would have been, if she could Sraly have had her
own house to herself 1t mas. sound like an
Irish bull, Mr.. Arden, but all my experience
and observation has gone is s ow that family
union isn't promoted by too ne ny branches of a
family erowding together unSssr one roof. |
don't say it mayn't be necesars for EN- some
times to do it; and, if the RI ordains it for
EN-, He can make a way ft7s< EN- to bear it.
But it's a temptation; and, ; sere they're at
liberty TO choose, I'm sure it : etter for em to
meet now and then with plea y and good will,
than to live together with discs ent and mutual
annoyance.
MY nurse Nd3 one OF the WOMEN ever
saw, and Just iike,a mother ne. When she
left me, | missed her SO, di ri know what to
do and as soon as | could ss~slk out, called
to see her. She was putting = work for some
bright-looking poor girls, witt .nother Sister to
help her, as brisk and pleas. t-aooking as she
was, in cheerful, snug, sum tie parlor, with
geraniunls and tea-roseSgrow NJ in the window !;
and | could hear little childH.n1 voices saying
hymns in the next room. me, Sister, |
sighed ont, how happy you assHeml'
- So j am, my dear, saws Sse, thanks to a
good God, who brought ms here; but you
mustn't imagine didn't hateTy trials out in
the world, as well as other folks. When my
TO me e 9?ha si died the eqle earth seemed
alone in it, and all the other ..seople racing to
fro round me, and chasing aA.ec shadows; and
thought the din, and gla {, and emptiness,
and vanity, and solitude, w9eld drive me crazy.
But | found the poor and sick were good COM
panv Cor ME, after all ! could forget my own
troubles in thinking about theirs and it's
/ strange low much easier to bear other
| peoples troubles always seem, than ones own
! Besides, learned to take theirs on my shout
ders and so, when could relieve them, got
relief myself Religions great comfort y
Religion! said |, my goodness lou
\ don't call that a comfort, do you? Why twas
4 that. and nothing else, that made me cry and
trembe SO that night, when | woke up, and
/ couldn't tell YOU what the matter was Why, |
think it's the most awful thing in the whole
universe
THAT can only be when we don't live ac-
cording toiit, my dear said she.
I'm going to live according to it, hence
forth, at any rate said | but | don't expect
| I'll ever find it very entertaining.
| She took me out with her, though, as soon
/
together among her poor and | was pleased to
see how they looked up to her. and loved her.
She gave advice to one, and clothes to another,
and dressed cut or a scald for another; and
lemptied my little purse, and bought flannel,
and cotton, and lint, and a couple of oranges
for poor man that we found gasping with con
sumption mp in hot attic under stove pipe.
| II shall never forget the feversh, famished,
thankful look, that he snatched them with.
never bought anything scarcely that gave me
SO much pleasure. always did pity the poor
when they came in my way.
81 liked the Sisters busy, stirring way of serv
ing God. The contemplatve life wouldn't have
suited me. / told her l believed | should be
good, if could only live with her. She said
| hope you'll be good, my dear, live where YOU
will But | couldn't Some saints have led
holy lives to be sure, in the midst of distractions
| There's nothing grace can't do, if you only
| have it. But then there are all sorts of gifts
and some are fttest for one thing and some for
another. When people are just beginning their
lives, if they only begin straight, it must make
it great deal easier for 'em to go on SO but
was no chicken, and had a whole host of bad
| habits, that everything about me helped to keep
up. | wasn't particularly ill-disposed, that
know of, but twas my nature always to be up
to something's and if it didn't happen to be a
Il. Al .. Ii l. L. Il Ia
got to be second nature with me- whenever
was in company, to be either vain and coquet
fish, or Jealous and envions and, at brothers,
| was all the time in company, or else wasting
my time and money, dizening myself out for it.
Besides, you know, it wasn't convenient for him
to keep me much longer.
"When | could see my director, had a long,
full talk with him. about my concerns and diff
culties-how i needed new home, and wanted
to lead new life, and get ready for death and
finally, whed he didn't seem to know what to
propose, hid my face between my hands, and
| whispered through nv fingers that wished |
could be Sister of Charity; but wasn't good
enough
slow he did jumpl 'You must be good
enough, whether you are one or not said he
I "'To be sure said I If can't be good
enough for a Sister, | shall never be good
/ enough for an angel
1 "When he found | was in earnest and eager
| about it, he put me on probation, and spoke to
NV brother. He was willing, and rather glad,
| | fancy, after the first surprise was over. But
they all agreed must stay where | was few
months more, till Id entirely got back nv
| strength and my confessor told me | must
make the most of the time to repair past errors
| in nv family, and leave all in peace. l did
| We parted at last as good friends, as brothers
| and sisters should be; and Eve been thankful