Holmes County Republican. [volume] (Millersburg, Holmes County, Ohio) 1856-1865, 1858-04-01
9alistellang.

SyykHNkNNNt<tD<
From the Cincinnati Commercial.
A Batch of Wretchedness.
In the shape Of a crowd of outcasts, led
off the dance, the first being asy-faced,
saddle colored feminine known as "Tennes-
see Sea-" the latter portion of her name or
iginating probably in the fact of her gait
being usually Of q rolling character. She
had been let out of Jail on Wednesday
morning, and had so improved her time
that at night she was picked up in desert
ed howell in Bucktown, in state of alchol-
ic inconsistencies. A sentence of thirty
days in the City Prison was the Judgment
promulgated upon Tennessee Sea-"
John Ryan next came forward, and it
took some time to determine the case to
which John belonged, for in color, express
ion and features John looked very much
like the picture, as represented in the illus
trated newspapers, of Mana Sahib. The
watehman who had arrested John when
called upon 10 testify, rubbed his eyes, and
looked altogether as bewildered a specimen
of conservator of the peace as ever was
called upon to swear against culprit.
"He wasa white man last night when 1
TUX i'm up" said he, "but he seems to have
changed his color"
care you John Ryan," enqdired the
Prosecutor.
"Deed and the diSil bit ov anything
else am l." replied the individual himself,
in such genuine Irish brogue, that it was
evident he was appearing under false col
OTIS, and so it turned out, for while John
was snoozing soundly by the stove in the
station house, some wag of wag had
blacked his face and neck so naturally that
his own wife would have discarded him
And in truth so she ought for he had been
arrested the night previous while commit
ting savage assault upon her, and his
young daughter, proceeding which be is
in the constant habit of practicing, and for
which upon this occasion he was sent to
the dungeon fol thirty days.
PRODIGAL YOUTH.
Is William Wikoff, who was arrested on
St. Patrick's eve holding fast to lamp
post in order as he told the watchman, to
keep it from tipping over. Wikof-who
is no relative to the Chevalier-had not
the excuse for his jollifcation of being an
IrishmAn, Oh the contrary he is in fact and
appearance, genuine scion of the Hoosier
State.
aHow came you to get drunk? :" enquired
the Court.
The culprit let out a sigh which sounded
like the bursting of blacksmith's bellows.
"Wbere did you come from?' asked the
Judge, in the language Of Ethiopian min
strelsy.
"Please sir" replied the unsophisticated
Wikoff, 81 wants to go home to my father
"Where does your father live?" enquir-
ed the Court.
ain Marshall Indiana" was the rejoinder.
"And how did you get here's"
"Why walked here"
"And how do you mean 10 get back ?"
nPlease sir, I'll walk back if you'll let
me, cause 1 want to 60 to my father"
And either at the memory of his bereav-
ed parent, or for contrition for his big
drunk, Wikoff boo hood with gus! like
the bleat of a weaned calf.
'There, you can CO." hastily exclaimed
the Judge, and Wikof, who is precious
specimen of prodigal son, standing six
feet without his boots, donned his beaver
and stood not upon the order of going, but
went.
INTERFERING IN FAMILY AFFAIRS.
Edward Dunning and John Curley re-
side in one habitation, in which are also
domesticated the father and mother of the
first named individual. 1t seems that
Dunning, senior. frequently INDUCES in the
lordly pastime of iniictiDg corporal chas-
tisement upon his better halt, and being on
Wednesday afflicted with this very unam-
liable mania, he proceeded to crafty him
self. Dunning junior, however, like du-
tiful boy, took sides with his his mama,
and so, while his eccentric sire was making
threshing machine of himself, he hurried
off for watchman, but was met on the
way by Curley, who proceeded to do unto
him, likewise, that which the elder Dun
ming was inficting upon his mama.
"What have you to say to this, Master
Curley?" asked the Court.
"Say til't, yer Honor" replied Curley,
giving his forelock pull; "shure now and
all / said when met him, and he coming
out ov the alley, be raison that he was 60
ing for the Watch, and all I said was, says
1, "And isn't it ashamed ov yourself that
wees are to be after running for the Watch
all the time to take yees ould father up,
yees onnatheral omadhoun."
Hard words, however, won't blacken eyes
any more than will soft ones butter pars-
nips, and as Dunning junior sported an arc
of promise under his left peepr, the Court
came to the conclusion that Curlery had
used a right-handed convincer in the argu-
ment, and so fined him 81 and costs.
USED UP NEGRO,
Is Peter Resgan, who, in spite of his
name, is as black sample of Mrs. Stoves
heroes as ever took up the shovel and the
hoe In cotton field. Peter appeared
against brawny son of the Emerald Isle,
who had been making all sorts of murder
GUS demonstrations upon his person.
"May it please dis ar honorable Koot,"
said Peter, striking an attitude la Ned
Forrest when addressing the "potent grave
and reverend Signers," "John Murphy as
sits dar, pointing to the accused, tries him
hardest to kill dis ar chile. Fust he skies
ober dozen rocks at me, and then him
get de axe. and nv old'ooman tries to eject