Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1858-04-15
@mnstng 8eaang,
SUITS DADDY ACTING HORSE.

SUITS DADDY ACTING HORSE.
"Hold that ere boss down to the yearth."
Giles spreading his sail-Hy now"
"Keep him where he is"
These andlike expressions were addressed
to a queer-looking, long legged, short-bod-
led, white haired, hog.eyed, funny sort of a
genius, fresh from some secondhand cloth
ing store, and mounted on "Tarpole," a
nic-tailed, long, poor horse, and enveloped
all over in perfect network Of bride reins,
scuppers, martingales, straps. circingles and
red-ferreting, who had reined up in front of
Pat. Nack's grocery, among a crowd OF wild
mountaineers full of fight and bad whiskey.
81 SAY, you darnedash cats, jistkeep your
shirts on, will you? You never seed a raal
horse til I rid up. Tarpole is next to the best
horse that ever shelled nubbins, and he's
dead as a still worm; pooro old Hickey Tail"
"What killed him, SUIT 7" said an anxious
inquirer.
"Why, nothing, you tarnation fool he
jist died standing up at that. Warn't that
good pluck? Froze stiff; no, not adzactly,
but starved fust and then frozed afterwards;
so stiff, that when dad and me pushed him
over, he jist stuck out so, (spreading his arms
and legs like a carpenters bench, we waited
seventeen days for him to thaw, afore we
could skin him. Well, thar was-dad an
me, Counting his fngers,) dad an me, Sal
an Jack-fool Jake we use to call him for
short-an' Phineas, an Simeon, an Jonas,
an Charlotean, an Cullina, an Cashus Hen
ry Clay, an noah Dan, an Catharine Sc
ccnd, an Cleopatry Antony, an Jane Lind,
an Tom Bullion, the baby and the prospect,
an marin herself, all left without any horse
to crop with. That was a nice mess for a
spectacle family to be slushed about in,
warn't it? I declare if I didn't feel like
stealin' a horse, sometime. Well, we waited
and rested, and waited until we'll onto
strawberry time, hoping some stray horse
mout come along; but dog my cats eff eny
SIGH luck as that ever comes whar dad is,
he's so drotted mean, an lazy, an savage,
an ugly, an tryin.'
"Well, one mite, dad he lay awake all
mite, a snorin' an rollin' an a ~whisperin' at
marin, an next mornin' says he:
SUIT, I'll tell you what we'll do; I'll be
boss myself, an pull the pillow while you
drive me, and we'll break up corn ground
and then the old quilt CHATS marm) and
the brats kin plant or let alone, jist as
they please"
$50 out he goes to the papaw, an peeled
a right smart chance of bark, an marin an
me made geers for dad, and they become
him nightly then he would have a Bride
so I gifts an old umbrella what I found-its
a little piece of iron, sorter like onto a pitch
fork, ye know-an' we bent an twisted it
sorter into a bride bit, snail shape, dad
wanted it curb, as he hadn't worked for some
time, and must sorter feel his oats and 60
to canvortin.) Well, when we got the bride
all fixed on dad, he ~champed his bit jist like
q raal horse, Che always was a most compli-
Gated old fool, enyhow, an marin always said
so when he warn't about then I put on the
geers, an dad an / goes into the field, a
leadin' dad by the bride, and totin' the
gopher plow on my back.
"When we come to the fence I let down
a gap that made dad mad; he wanted to
jump the fence on all tours, boss way.
hitched him into the gopher, and way he
went, dad leanin' for'ard to his pullin' right
peart, and we made sharp plowin,' dad goiu
right over the bushes an SPROUTS same as q
raal horse, the only difference is, he went on
two legs. Presently we come to a ~sasafras
patch, and dad, to act up his character as a
boss, bulged squar inter it, an tore down q
hornets nest as big as boss head and al
the tribe kivered him right strate. He rared
and kicked once or twice, an fotch a squeaI
wus nor airy boss in the district, an sot into
runnin' away just as natural as ever you
seed.
I let go the pillow and hollered woe, dad.
woe, but ye mout as we'll said woe to a To-
connective. Jewhilikins, how he run Wher
be com to a bush he'd clear it, gopher and
all; pr'aps he thot there mout be another
settlement of bald hornets in it and that il
was safer to 60 over than thro, an quicker
done. Every now and then he'd paw one
side of his head with fust one fore leg and
then tother; then he'd gin himself an open.
handed slap, that sounded like a Wagon
whip, an %ruDnin' all the time an %carryin' that
gopher jist about as fast and high from
the yearth as ever a gopher was carried, ]
swar. When he cum to the fence he bus.
ted rite thru it, taren nigh inter seven pan
els, scatterin' and breakin' the rails might,
lily ; here be left the gopher, geers, swingle,
trees and klevis, all mixed up, not wurth a
durn, most of his shirt stuck to the broken
end of a splintered rail, and nigh onto a pint
O. hornets staid with the shirt, a stingin' it
all over-the balance on 'em, about a gal
lon an a hall, kept on with dad. He seemed
to run jist adzactly as fast as a hornet could
fly, for it was the highest race I ever did see ;
down thru the grassthey all went, the hornets
sorter maxim it look like smoke all around
dads head, and he with nothin' on but the
bride, and nigh on a yard o pillow line sailin'
behind him. I seed he was amin for the
swimmin hole in the creek, whar the bluff is
over twenty feet perpendicular to the water,
and it's nigh onto ten feet deep. To KEEP
49, L.. .l,.a. L.. H.. l.. -ot L.