, 1858-12-17
NiscsiIaNy.

OlNC NllC EOkuluI hN
Is willing to submit to whatever may occur
as an attending consequence. Such is the
case with old Mr.. Lager Bier, who lounges
in the saloons, without friends, occupation,
money, hope-except in the beer glass. He
is a disagreeable person, IL bar keepers are
heard Alright, yet while they would be rid Of
him, they do not wish to do him hurt.
Lately, the old fellow was waiting in a sa-
loon on X street, expecting the receipt Of a
free glass, and toward its arrival he looked
Vistfully and sadly. The keeper at length
cav Q dead mouse under the counter.
Good = he exclaimed III fix old lager
with this ere so he takes the mouse, puts its
decaying body in glass, covers it with malt
liquor, and passing il to the counter, calls
out Ere old chap, 'ere's drink Lager
tOttored to the counter, around which sew
cral cute ones were standing, seized the bever.
age and swallowed Il, choking slightly as the
vcrmin descended his throat. 'Ah, ah, now
you're fixed, now you're fxedp yelled the
crowd. 'Vas ish fixed 2 inquired Lager,
startled by the sudden exclamations Of the
room squad. Oh you've swallowed a
mouse-that1l cure you that'll use you up
answered the barkeeper. 'Shwal.owed a
mice; me, init To peer I said Lager, as coolly
and carelessly as though he had only taken
down . fly. "A mice vel tot It vas hop
as goes in me, but don't care tbs mice, /
gets te peer, anyhow
Tho masther had two beautiful English
horses, and be wanted careful man to drive
: them, he was q mighty pleasant gertleman,
and 10 loved joke. Well, there was as
many as fifteen afther the place, and the first
that vint up to him, Now, my man, says
he, tell me, says he, how near the edge of
preclPice would you undertake to drive my
earriagef So the boy considered, and he
slys says he, within foot, place your
honor and no harm 'Very WELL says he,
go down and III give ye yer answer by and.
by So the next come up, and said he'd be
bound to carry 'em within halEa-foot; and
The next said Eve inches; and anothcr-a
sdandyfcd chap intiroly so mighty nice,
nat he would drive Il within three inches
and half he'd pail We'll, at last my turn
came, and when his honor axed me how
nigh would drive his carriage to precl.
pics. says .Plaze your konor, I'd keep
:. far OF Of L as | could sVery well,
Nlsther Byme,' says be. you're my coach
man, says he. 0cht the roar there was in
thekilohin Vhin wint down and told the
ipke. e.
he poet must feel ilattered by the editor
o. New London papel who declined some
Of his prohered contributions thus: your
lines entitled sympathy are respectfully
declined. The sentiment Is excellent, rythm
sounds like rolling frozen pumpkins on a
ham aooE, and the measure Is not what it
lnpqia oe, a ) ~ snr > a-faH1 rtf
(Which, my young lady, do you think the
me4ie1l place IN the woildf sThat imme-
01IlIy above the atmosphere that surrounds
to earth, should think because am told
thsi there al bodies lose their gravity
a gentleman, taking an apartment, said to
tie landlady, Il assure you, madam, never
10 lodging but my landlady shed tears
sIhope. liF, said she, Sit was not because you
went sway without paying
Have you finished both those bottles ct
port without assistance Mr.. Gulpitupf' 7 in.
Quir.d an Indignant spouse. mo, nv dear.
! had De a.'iaiapeS q ? bottle Of Madeira,
n yQn 81 betnpon two ladies' at table, one be-
ing yopr vii, help her 6rst or 1t least offer to
q - Nhcn, e Gho please, sho can signify her
e,1.lp hat you proceed 10 help the other lady
M g lat a "a Ia iiiqdi . sfRaq s'fbi W
4 school mistress asked child what
-. lpll9 The child hesifated. 6sWhnt
% % When look At youf said the mis-
tss..- IhquIn1 replied the pupil.
\ you would not have affection visit you
eIlani f1,sla y once 10 what Il teaches.
DID youever know 4 lady with ahandsome
- q teeth that did not Taught
nsre are many jackasses with short cars.