Amador weekly ledger., 1858-05-01

tuds Dt seen, Oh tue OuISlue Ol an nufnDle COT
tage, the following inscription in large gilt
letters =" seminary for young ladies'"
This was, perhaps too abstruce for the vii
layers, as Immediately underneath there is
added in rude characters, "Notey bene-
also CALLS skool"
Mary, where's the frying pan ?" Jem-
my's got it, carting mud and oyster shells up
the alley, with the cat for horse" "The
dear little fellow, what genius he will make
But go and get it, we're going to have COM
pany, and must fry some fish for dinner"
When remember all
The girls I've met together,
/ feel like rooster in the fall,
Exposed to every weather.
feel like one who treads alone
Some barn-yard all deserted,
Whose oats are 6ed-whose hens dead,
And of to market started
A Frenchman, having feud with Ven
etian, went out to waylay his enemy, and
slew an innocent man by mistake 81 beg
thousand pardons," said he to bis victim, "for
this little error; but, upon my honor, | took
you fer another"
A DISTINGUISHED lady once reproved her
librarian for putting books written by male
and female authors upon the same shelf
Never do it," said she. without putting
prayer book between them"
A GENTLEMAN wrote as follows to female
relative
How comes IT, this delightful We lther,
That U and | can't dine together ~
To which she replied:
"My worthy coz, it cannot B,
cannot come till after t."
OF six hundred and twenty young ladies
who tainted last year, more than half OF
them fell into the arms gentlemen Only
three Of them had the misfortune TO fall on
the floor.
A Pennsylvania editor, in an appeal to his
patrons, says: 1.-THE editor wants grain,
pork, tallow, candles, whiskey, linen, bees
wax, wool, and anything else he can eat"
Mrs Smith hearing strange sounds, in
quired of her new servant if she snored in
her sleep. at don't know, marm," replied
Becky, quite innocently, | never lay awake
long enough to diskiver"
Steel your heart said considerate faith
er to his son, for you are now going among
some fascinating girls" had much rather
steal theirs, said the unpromsing young man.
Come here and tell me what the four sea-
sons are? Young prodigy answers, Pepper,
mustard, salt, and vinegar; them's what
mother always seasons with"
! A little stealing is a dangerous plan, but
stealing largely is a noble art: tits mean to
rob hen-roost of hen, but stealing mill
ions makes US gentlemen.
We have been told of blind young lady,
who lately discarded her lover, because con-
Gdenta friend informed her that the young
man squinted.
| A PARTY of Norwegian Mormons passed
through Cleveland, Ohio, recently, en- route
to Salt Lake City. They had the appear
ance Of being very poor.
If pair of stockings are hose, is single
stocking hoe? If pair of glasses are
spectaces, is one a spectacle ? And if so, is
it not bad show for sight?
A WEAK mind sinks alike under prosperity
aud adversely A strong and deep mind has
two highest tides when the moon is in the
full, and when there is no moon.
MEN scanning the surface, count the wick
ed happy they see not the frghtful dreams
that crowd bad mans pillow.
I A DANDYIsM-a slice of ham is now under
stood as an elegant extract from Bacon p
Ouly used in polite circles.
ExTRAvAGANcE OF the most abominable
kinda man, who is blind of one eye,
lighting two candles to read newspaper.
A MODERN tourist calls the Niagara River
I" the pride of rivers" The pride certainly
has tremendous fall.
al HAVE lived TO know" says Adam
Clarke, that the greatest secret Of human
happiness is this Never suffer your energies
to stagnate."
A SECRET, like an oyster, cannot be kept
too close for the moment ii is opened il
ceases to exist
A LADY advertists in the GiasgosO Herald
that she wants q gentleman for breakfast
and tea"
The man who carried out bis moral resolu-
tions did not bring them back again
All the grandure Of life is out OF sight
all that appears is but the affect
J Honesty ought to shine through and Illus