Raftsman's journal. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1854-1948, 1858-08-18
JOE BOWERS WEDDING.

| either the applause of friends, or the mutter-
| ing OF enemies. He is, perhaps, the most de-
| voted man to the law in all creation, and has
his head so full of what he terms sjudicial
| talk" that he not unfrequently finds himself
| making learned charges and passing sentence
| outside of the court room.
| On recent occasion the judge was called on
to exercise the E'power and authority in him
vested,' i'll the case of young couple, who
desired to have their hearts united in the holy
band of wedlock. Of course he consented to
perform the pleasing duty, and on the appoint
ed evening was promptly on hand at the house
at which the affair was to come off. The room
was crowded by the beauty and fashion of the
| town, and none looked more dignified and hap
| py than the Judge himself, who was dressed
within an inch of his life.
| 1t is customary on the occasions Of the kind
| referred to, for the good folks of the mountain
towns to pass around the wine quite freely,
and to their everlasting credit, we will add,
| they consider it no harm for one to manifest
| his interest in the joyous event by getting
s'livelv.'' The judge is an ardent admrer of
| the fair sex, having in the course of his life
led the third one to the altar. To use his own
language. he is s'great believer in weddings"
| and that he should become little mellow a.
mid the glorious scene Of the evening,
not TO be wondered at by those who knew him
intimately. He had the weakness of all good
judges. He would take his sstod."
De Wine f1au pdSSeu TOuHu anu rOuflu anu
round. The music had ceased. The time for
making Joseph Bowers and Nancy Harkens
one, had arrived. Every heart throbbed with
| the most delightful emotions. The young
gentlemen desired TO know how ssJoe' would
! stand il, and the young ladies were anxious to
see how "Nance'' would suffer the anxious
! shock. Others, again, who had closely OBJ
| served the turn of affairs during the evening,
fixed their attention upon the judge, to
| hew he weuld come out of the Scrapc.
Atlength the trying moment was announced.
| The Judge arose very cautiously from the chair
which he had occupied in one corner of the
| room, and casting his eye over the company,
he recognized the sheriff of the county, who
ewas present an invited guest. The judge
had imbibed just enough to make him forget
| the nature of his business. He was full of his
s.judicial talk and required nothing but the
! presence of the sheriff to start him. Looking
sternly at the officer, he shouted,
"Mr. Sheriff, open the Court, and call order!''
| A general twitter followed this command, in
| the midst of which the sheriff took the sscourt'
| gently by the arm, and led him to his seat in
the corner, at the same time informing the au-
| gust parsonage of his mistake.
Everything now bid fair for pleasant and
sudden termination of the affair, until another
annoyance, which was nothing less than the
absence of the bridegroom, was observed.
1t turned out that he had just stepped across
the street to join his friends in parting drink,
but before his return, some cold-blooded wag
had whispered into the ear of our fogy the
cause of .sdelay in proceedings" Instantly
the chair in the corner moved, and in that di-
rection all eyes were fixed.
s.Mr. Sheriff. slowly drawled the judge,
ssbring Joe into court on supernar''-the
Judge had his own way pronouncing the word
-tlrcn addressing the bride who stood in the
foreground, and hung her head in deep con-
fusion. he added 81 spose you're the plain
+,H WalI ln,'f faly. mr.
virtue will be protected by this here court.''
This was the saddest blunder of all. The
Judge was again made to see his mistake, and
would have been considerably set back, had it
not been for corrective in the shape of ssfor-
~ drops Of the crtter,'' which he instantly APP
piled.
In few moments all ready in right
down earnest. The bridegroom had arrived,
full of Joy. The bride, in gorgeous array,''
stood at his side. The company pressed for
ward. The excitement WAS intense. The
judge never looked so dignified in his life
He evidently feit every inch judge.
ssJ-J-o-e BIB Bowers" commenced the
man of law, in that distressing style of speech
with which he was invariably troubled when
under the influence of liquor; ssJ-o-e Bow
e-r-s, stand up. Have y-y-you anything to
s-s-say W. why s-s-sen-tence-'
ssStop, stop, stop Judge shouted the Sher-
iff from the back part of the room. s'fou are
not going to hang the man, but marry him.
The Judge drew long breath and binked
rapidly, but stood his ground we'll. Recover
ing himself, he proceeded
tsJ-J-oe BIB overs, do y-you t-takeNancy
H-H H-Harkens for y-y-your wife, so h-h-elp you
God 20
This was tolerable effort, and Joe nodded
assent.
"N- INFANCY Harkens, 1t now remains for
this here C-C-Court to-''
Here the Sheriff again interrupted the Judge
reminding him of the real business of the
evening.
"Miss N-Nancy," resumed the Judge, after
being set right sd d do y-y You t-t-take J-Joe
B-B- Bowers for a husband, tito the best of
your knowledge and b-b-belief, or DID do you
not 2"
eYou bet 20 softly answered the light heart
ed Nancy.
The Judge then took the hands of the hap
py couple, and joining them, wound up the
business as follows:
ssIt now r-r-r-remains for this h-h-h-here
I C-C-Court to pronounce you, J-J-Joe Bowers,
and y-y-you, Nancy Harkens, man and wife
and''-here the Judge paused to wipe the per-
.spiration from his tacc-ssm-m-may G-G-God
Ormity h-h-have mercy on your s-s-souls!
Sheriff, rernOre the cuiprits''
The company roarcd. Joe and Nancy weak
ened. The Sheriff was taken with leaving.
The Judge let himself out loose in glass OF
apple jack. 1t was the greatest wedding ever
witnessed.
Sheridan agreed with Walker about the word
lwind-pronouncing it wind; but differed from
him with respect to gold, which he would pro-
nounce gooId Sheridan tells us that Swift
| used to ieer those who pronounced wind with
a short i, saying 81 have great minn'd to
| fnn'd why you pronounce it winn'd. An IL
liberal critic retorted this upon Mr.. Sheridan,
| by saving ssif may be SO boold, l should be