The independent. (Harrisonburg, La.) 1853-18??, 1858-04-21
MISCELLANY.


MISCELLANY.
The best capital to begin life on is capi
tai wife.
Sorrows grow less and less every time they
are told, just like the age Of woman
1t is foolish to lay out money in the pur
chase of repentance.
Hog or dog, that's the question as the fel
low said when he sat down to a dish Of
fried sausages.
Madame, you said your son was a lawyer
has he much practice? Why, yes Sir, he
has practice-of smoking cigars.
A young man who has recently taken a
wife, says he did not find it half so hard to
get married as he did to get furniture.
A Western editor expressed his delight at
having been almost called honey" by the
gal he loves, because she saluted him as "Old
Beeswax" at their last meeting.
If all the United States were as dcnsely
populated as Massachusetts, there would be
a population of 446 900, OO0-nearly equal
to half the number of the whole earth.
"Esqure," at the end of mans name, is
like curl in pigs tail-more for ornament
than use.
"People," SAYS modern philosopher, ego
according to their brains; if these lie in their
head, they study; if in their belly, they eat;
if in their heels, they dance"
EH- In Carrolton, Miss, few DAYS ago,
young man, named Owen Barnes, killed
German baker, named August Moetzel, by
shooting him through the head They had
quarrel about the dye in candy.
A jolly old doctor said that people who
were prompt in their payments always recov-
cred in their sickness, as they were good Gus
toners and physicians could not afford to
lose them. A good hint, and sensible doc
tor.
a CENT'sW WORTH OF 1r!-Miss Hester A.
Burgess sued N. F. Wood, in KanawLa
county, Virginia, recently, for damages for
breach of promise. 1t was proved in evil
dence, that the young lady was flrt, and
the jury awarded her one cent damages.
A punster says, "Mv name is Somerset. I |
am miserable bachelor. cannot marry
for how could hope to prevail on any young
lady possessed of the slightest notions Of
delicacy to turn Somerset"
If you want to fare well at the leading no.
tells wear large seal rings, hashy fob, and an
extensive shirt frill. Susan, Mickey, the
boot-black; and "thcm chambermaids" have
an immense liking for such display, and, as
consequence, shower their favors on cheap
jewelry and potatoe starch.
"Alice," said one girl to another, II am 50
glad | have no beau now."
"Why, Liz?".
"Cause I can eat as many onions as
please"
A YoYNa LADY BURNT TO DEArn.-Miss
Barnard, daughter Of George NJ. Barnard,
Esq, wealthy merchant of Boston, lost her
life on Saturday week, by her clothes taking
fire from a CRATE where camel coal was burn
in. She was twenty-one years Of age.
STEAM MAR1NE-The steam marine of
the United States service is very limited T,
According to the Navy Register for 1858, it t
appears that we have only 10 scsew-stcamers
IF the LIST, I'd and Sd class; 2 screw. tenders,
I side-whcel steamers of LIST, I'd and Sd clas- o
ses side-wheel tender.
A queer genius being asked why he did e
not attend the funeral of his wife, replied c
That he could not leave his shop, and that n
/ was also better to attend to business before =
pleasure"
A certain writer says he directs all his N I,
hots at error. 1t is all that he has to shoot y;
It, for be never gets within gun shot of the Ia
ruth. al
A RAMpARAGous BEAR.-A bear has al
rays been reckoned formidable animal-a &C
ay seducer, who hugs his victim to death al
n the most affectionate but painful manner U .,
But the most terrible specimen of bear =
hat we ever heard tell of is mentioned in the tri
blowing spirited verses which we clip from -
western poem: I'd
'There Jolly woodman, n
Was standin' by tree,
When he sped an awful big bear
A-comiDg right at he! me
The bear was ramparagous
The foam on his lip, dol
And full yard of prairie
He cleared at every skip" ne