True American. [volume] (Steubenville [Ohio]) 1855-1861, 1858-07-28
HUMOROUS.
MIR. Blifkin's Babv.


That first baby was a great institution.
AS soon as he came into this "brealhin g
world" as the late w. Shakespeare has
1t, he took command in our house.
Everything was subservient to him. The
baby was the balance wheel that regula-
ted everything. He regulated the tenn
peralure, he regulated the food, he regu-
lated the servants, he regulated me. For
the first six months of that precious
existence he had me up on an average
six times night; "Mr Blilkins," says
my wife, "bring that light here, do; the
baby looks strangely I'm so afraid it
will have ftw OF course the lamp
was brought, and Of course the baby lay
sucking his fist like little white bear, as
he was "Mr. BIifkins," said my wife,
Il think I feel draught of air; [ wish
you would get up and see if The window
is not open little, because baby might
get sick" Nothing was the matter with
the window, as l knew very well. "Mr.
Blifkinf." says my wife just as l was
going to sleep again, "that lamp, as you
have placed it, shines directly in baby's
eyes-st-ange that you have no more
consideration" arranged the light and
went TO bed again.. Just as was drop
ping to sleep agaia, "Mr. BIfkins," said
my wife, "did you ,liDk to buy that broma
to day for the baby!' "My dear" said
|, "will you do me the in Justice 10 believe
that could overlook matter so essential
10 the comfort Of lha! inestimable child q
She apologised very handsomely. but
made her anxiety the scape goat. for
gave her, and without saying word more
to her addressed myself to sleep. "Mr.
Bli(kins," said my wife, shaking me,
'you must not snore SO, you will wake
the baby" "Jest so-jest so," said l.
half asleep, thinking was Solon Shingle
"Ml. Blfkins," said my wife. "wiIl you
get up and hand me the warm Cruel from
the nurse lamp for baby !--the dear child
if it wasn't for his mother don't know
what he would do. How can you sleep
so Mr.. Blifkins :" 81 suspect my dear, -
said |, "that it is because am tired. -
"Oh, it's very well for you men to talk
about being liled," said my wife IL
don't know what you would say if you
had 10 toll and drudge like poor woman
with baby" | tried to soolhe her by
telling her she had no patience at all, and
got up for the posset. Having aided in
answering the baby's requirements,
stepped into bed again, with the hope Of
sleeping. "Mr. Blifkins," said she in a
louder key. said nothing. ooh, dear!"
said that eslimable woman, in great ap.
parent anguish. show can man, who
has arrived at the honor of live baby Of
his own, sleep, when he don't know that
the dear creature will live till morning 7"
| remained silent, and, after willie.
deeming that Mrs. BIifkins had gone !c
sleep, stretched my limbs for repose.-
How long slept l don't know, but I was
awakened by furious jab in the forehead
by some sharp instrument. | started up
and Mrs. Blifkins was sitting up in the
bed adjusting some portion OF the baby's
dress. She had, in a state ot.semi-som
nolence, mistaken my head for the pillow
which she customarily used for noctur
nal pincushion. protested against sucf
treatment in somewhat round terms
pointing to several perforations in my
forehead. She told me / should willingly
bear such triAing things cor the sake o
the baby. insisted upon it that didn'
think my duty as paren. to that younl
immortal required the surrender of M!
forehead for pincushion. This was on
of many nights passed in this way. Th'
truth was that the baby was what ever!
other mans first baby is, an autocrat- =
absolute and unlimited. Such was tn
story of Blifkius as he related it to us tn
other day. 1t is a little exaggerated pic
tnre of almost every mans experience -
Saturday Evening Gazette.