Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1858-03-27
From the Springfield Republican.
TIMOTHY TITC0MB'S LETTERS TO
YOUNG WOMEN.

nave 10 go SO lar as ltmipnt tOrccal tne perlOu,
] observed a couple of facts from which | now
propose to draw lesson for your benefit. ! OBJ
served, first, that young married women had a
peculiar charm for unmarried young men, and
that young mans first love was almost uni
formly devoted to woman older than himself.
| suppose might name one young man who
was affected in this way, but what would be the
use 1t is enough for you to know the facts,
and for me to explain and improve them.
marriageable young woman occupies, or is
made to occupy, position of peculiar hardship.
Our theory is that a woman should never make
an advance toward the man she loves and would
marry. Such step is deemed inconsistent with
maiden modesty. do not quarrel with this,
but the effect has been to make young women,
who possess sensitive natures, hypocrtes. 1t
ought not to do it, but it does. Every modest
young woman, possessing a good degree of
gumption, plays part, almost always, when in
the society of young men. The fear is that by
some word, or look or act she shall express
such degree of interest in Il young man as
shall lead him to believe that she is after him
Young women study the effect of their language,
they often shun civilities, they put on an artif-
cial and constrained style of behavior for fear
that some ass will misconstrue them, or some
gentleman whom they wish to please will deem
them too forward, and become diSgusted.
The result is that n man rarely finds out either
the best or the worst points of his wife's char
acter before he marries her. Social intercourse
is carried on under a kind of protest, which
places every young woman in a position abso-
lutcly false before the eyes of Young men. Many
woman owes life of cclcbacy and disappoint-
ment to the fact that she felt at liberty to
act out herself.
With these statements, it is very easy to un-
derstand the attractions which Young married
woman has for a bachelor, and to explain the
phenomenon of Young man falling in love with
a woman older than himself In the first in
stance, a married woman becomes agreeable be-
cause she becomes perfectly natural and uncon-
strained, her circumstances allowing all the more
grateful forms of poiteness-the cordial greet
ing, the complimentary attentions, and the free
conversation-without the danger of being mis-
construed. In the latter instance the woman
throws off her constrant in the same manner,
because she is in the society of one whom she
regards as in reality boy. She finds, very
much to her surprise, that She has won the boy S
heart, hut il was the most natural thing in the
world. He had never got sight at a woman's
nature before The girls with whom he had as
sociated had always worn mask. The real
heart behind it he had thus far failed to appre-
hend. There is very general impression
among the Young men whose affections are not
engaged that those who are left do not amount
to much. They will think differently sometime
or other.
Now my idea is that this universal mask
wearing system should be broken up. 1t does
injustice to all parties. If there is, in society,
any poor fool of young man whose vanity is
open to flattery that n young woman cannot
treat him with natural, cordial politeness with
out his thinking that she would like to marry
him, and is trying to ensnare him, let him think
so. and trust to time and circumstances for JUS
tice. such men are OF too little account ia tho
world to pay Tor carrying deccitiul face, and
despoiling the intercourse of the Young of its
sweetest charms. If YOU like the society O!
Young men, take no pains to conceal it, but treat
them with frank cordiality. No true gentleman
among them will misconstrue you. 1t is not
necessary for you to tell them that YOU cacu-
late TO live maiden life. They know you lie.
1t will not do to indicate to any man of sense
that you do not like the attentions and society
of gentlemen, Cor he knows better. He knows,
at least, that you ought to like them, and that
if YOU do not. there is something wrong about
you. Don't practice humbug of any kind. \
man who is frank and opcn-heartcd with YOU,
deserves to be met with frank and open heart
by you and in ninety mine cases in every hun
dred men will be honorable and manly with
you, if YOU will lay aside suspicion, and trust
them If man prove himself unworthy of
your confidence, YOU have your remedy. Gut
him dead, or tell him what you think of him,
and bring him upon his marrow-bones
have given my advice without many quail
fications, but do not misconstrue me. | write
upon the supposition that You have got COM
mon sense, and know what mean. Some peo-
pie, suppose, would present YOU with a form
ua by which to conduct all your intercourse
with young men. know a large number of IA
thers and mothers who will think that upon this
subject | ought to guard my language, and be
more particular but know very well that il
you have not sense and prudence enough to
take this general counsel, and use it judiciousy
no qualifications that | could make would be OF
any service to you. / trust you. Ibelievc YOU
are virtuous young women, with pure hearts
and true intentions and know there is no dan
ger to you until you cease to be such. You
have an instinct-God's word in your own souls
that tells you when man takes the first
wrong step towards you and if you do not re-
pei that step in such a manner that it will nev-
er be repeated, do you suppose that anything
could say to you would do you any good say
this that perfect frankness and cordiality in the
treatment OF young men are entirely consistent
with the safety of any trne woman from in.
suit or offensive familiarity. Is Your father
afraid to trust you out of his sight ? l am not
Ii l were would be ashamed to confess it, par
ticularly if you were daughter of mine. / be-
lieve in you, and believe, moreover, that if this
internal idea that men are your natural enemies
and that you must cheat them and look out fol
them, could be got out of the way, and free
and unconstrained social intercourse established
between you and them, they would be much bet
ter, and you altogether safer for it.
There is another subject, more or less init
mately here. 1t is very natural for young wo
men to get in the habit of treating only thost
young men politely whom they happen, for va
rious reasons to fancy. They don't care
what the majority of young men think of them
provided they retain the good will of their par
ticular pets. They are whimsical, and take OF
special and strong likes dislikes for the young
men whom they meet One is perfectly hate
full and another is perfectly splendid" anC
SO they proceed to make fools of themselve
over both parties Now there is nothing upol
which young man is so sensitive as this mat
ter of being treated with polite consideration
by the young women of his acquaintance ant
| know of nothing which will tend more Ger
tainly to make ayoung man hateful than to trea
him as if he were So There are multitude o
young men whose sclf-respect is nurtured, who's
ambition is quickened, and whose hearts nr
warmed with genial fire, by those considerat
fhn nf ln,, Ia