Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1858-04-10
Wanted. 4 Wife.

| wish SOmeOOdN WOUId MAKE me
New Years present of wife ! Here
am, nearly ,hirry years old, and an Old
bachelor yet. I'm sure lis not my fault.
don. at all relish coming home at nigh'
to a lonely room, and yawnIng all the
evening over stupid book, without a SOU
TO speak to. | don't fancy da'ning my
own stockings and sewing on my own
shirl buttons. Boardiug-house life isn'i
the greatest. luxury in The world, esPe-
ciaIIy when all The invalid chairs and bro
ken tables in The establishment are pen
stoned off IN your room, and Blddy uses
your hair brush, and annoints herself with
your mWefeurS
I'd like a rosy little wife and cheer,
full home as well as anybody. Id like TO
think. at my daily Iabors down town, OF a
paic of bright eyes look NJ up and down
he street to see if I'm coming-of ket-
lie singing at The fire, and pair of slip.
pers put down to warm by hands that ex-
acry correspond with the bright eyes.
But don't know where all the good
wives have gone. have read Of them,
and heard about them, and | know they
ohce existed; but the race is now extinct.
I've examined all the young ladies' of my
acquaintance, and not one cf them reall-
zes my idea of what a wife sohuld be. !
want a geote, loving companion, 10 sit at
my frc,ide, cheer my existence, console
my sorrows and share my joys-an eco
nomicaI, domestic, quiet helP-male, to
make a home for me. All if could
only find such person.
don't want "A wife who goes rustIing
around III silks and sa,ins-who plays
divineiy on the piano, and who don't
know how to make shirt-who can EN-.
broider on velvet and paint in water col
OFFS, and hasn't The least idea OF the ingre-
dienrs necessary to form an apple pie
don't want wife who dances with
the Lancers with a hole in the toe Of her
stocking. don't want a wife who is too
nervous to the affairs of her household,
bat who is perfectly capable OF fashion
able dlssipalions-who goes into suong
mysteries because | don'l engage box al
the opera, and shops on Broadway, vast
ing aII'my income in "great bargains !"
And | don't want wife who reads novels
and works in worsled, with poodle IN
her lap, while the meat is burning down
stairs in The kitchen, and the pudding IS
baked 10 a cinder.
There's the catalogue Of what | don't
want, and now will enumerale the things
| do want
| want a neat. stirring little wife, whose
nicely flung dress IS made by her own
hands; who can make Ioal Of bread roast
a turkey, or cook beei-slesk, who re-
CARDS hole IN her husbands coat as re.
Election upon her own hosewIfely charac-
ter, and who can talk about literary news,
and even politics, as well as about new
dresses and new fashions; who is a lady
in the kitchen as well as in the parlor, and
who looks upon husband as something
nearer .Gcsfer than mere mechIne Ia pay
her bills, and hold her fan and haRdker-
chief 81 parties
Now. Mr. Editor. Go you know Of any !
such woman as this Ny female acqnain-
ances are pretty wax-'IoI! creatures. With
white, richly -jeweIled hands and pale ia.
,es, who don I exactly know where the
lilchen is, and would faint away If you
mentioned wash-tub or frying-pan in 4
heir presence. They are very passabe
room ornaments, but as 10 ever
thrifty. credilsble wives, one
night as well marry the revolving ladies
n The shop windows on Broadway.
Won't somebody give me bil Of sd-
rice Am TO die an old bachelor. or sm
to marry huge crin"lIne. an in6nitesi
nal bonnet, and a pair Of yellow lid
,loves, with a woman inside OF 'em.
RALPH RRDBLossOa.