Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1858-07-07

''From Sterrett, over there; his name
is on them.''
"Good heavens! how could it hap
pen?''
II know very well, Poliy-I wa:
very drunk when / came home, wasn'
I?''
"Why, Judge you know your ole
habit when you get among those law
yers."
But was very drunlk?:''
eyes, you acas."
'Was l remarkably drunk when
got home, Mrs. Brown %
eyes, Judge, drunk as fool, and
forty times as stupid"
Il thought so,'' said the Judge,
dropping into chair in extreme de.
spondency-sI knew it would come to
that at last. have always thought
that something bad would happen to
me-that I should do something very
wrong-kill somebody in moment OF
passion perhaps-but / never imagin.
ed that could be mean enough to be
guilty Of deliberate larceny -
''But there may be some mistake,
Judge"
"No mistake, Polly. l know very
we'll how it all came about. That fel-
low, Sterrett, keeps the meanest sort
Of liquor, and always did-liquor mean
enough to make man do any sort of a
mean thing. I have always said it was
mean enough to make man steal, and
now | have a practical illustration OF
the factn' and the poor man burst into
tears.
''Don't be child" said his wife,
wiping away the tears; ego like a man,
over to Sterrett. Tell him it was bit
of frolic. Pass it off as joke; go and
open court, and nobody will ever think
Off again.
A little of the soothing system oper-
ated upon the Judge, as such things
usually do; his extreme modification
was at length subdued, and over to
Sterrett's he went with tolerable face.
! Of course, he had but little difficulty
settling with him-for aside from the
fact that the Judges integrity was un-
questionable, he had an inkling of the
joke that had been played. The Judge
took his seat in court; but it was OBJ
served that he was sad and melan-
choly, and that his mind frequently
wandered from his business before him.
There was lack of sense and intelli-
gence that usually characterized his
proceedings.
Several days passed away, and the
business Of the court was drawing to q
close, when one morning a rough look
ing sort of a customer was arraigned
On the charge of stealing. After the
clerk had read the indictment to him,
he put the question:
"Guilty, or not guilty?"
"Guilty-but druak," answered the
prisoner
"What's that plea?" exclaimed the
Judge, who was half doing on the
| bench.
"He pleads guilty, but says he was
drunk, +" replied the clerk.
"What's the charge against the
man?"
''He is indicted for grand larceny"
"What's the case?'
.'May it please your HONOR" said the
prosecuting attorney, ''the man is reg
uIarly indicted for stealing large sum
from the Columbus Hotel"
''He is, hey? and he pleads
ale pleads guilty, but drunk"
The Judge was now fully aroused.
"Guilty, but drunk! That is a most
extraordinary plea. Young man, you
are certain you were drunk?'
eyes, sir''
"Where did You get your l;q,.or:?"
cat Sterrett's.''
"Did you get none anywhere else?''
''Not drop, SIR"
"You got drunk on his liquor, and
afterwards stole bis money!"
eyes, sir"
''Mr. Prosecutor" said the Judge
do me the favor to enter nolle prose
qui in that mans case. That liquor at
Sterret's is enough to make man dc
do anything dirty. Igot drunk on Il
the other day myself and stole all OF
Sterret's spoons! Release the priso
ner, Mr.. Sheriff; l adjourn the court"