The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1858-01-28
VARIETY.

VARIETY.
There is policeman in every mans conscience
even though you may not always find him on the
beat.
The power Of fortune is confessed only by the
miserable fer the happy im2pte all their success to
prudence and merit.
Peace is the evening of the SOUL as virtue is
its sun, and the two very far apart.
Ii was maxim of Gen. Jackson Sc Take time to
deliberate; but when the hour for action arrives,
stop thinking snd go in-''
Diogenes, being asked of what beast the bite was
most dangerous ss Of wild beasts that of slanderer
Of tame, that of n hatterer.''
The happest man in the world is the man with
just wealth enough to keep him in spirits au'-ln,s
children enough to make him Industrious. -
There is lady down east so igh-minded that she
disiains 10 own that she has common sense.
Why is chicken pie like gunsmith's store,
Because it contains foul in pieces
Why should man, who is struggling in these
tight times with financial difficulties, hold his head
more erect than ever, Because he is very much
Strengthened
A distinguished antiquary wishes to know, in
whose possession is the chair which '' Ver5um
sGf.'
If poison should be swallowed accidently, take two
table-spoonfuis of ground mustard mixed in water
II will operate rs an instantaneous emetic.
IS Have you Blasted Hopes 90" asked lady of n
green librarian, whose face much swollen by the
toothache- 'No, ma am; but have blasted tooth
ache
"Paddy,'' says joker. ''why don't you get your
ears croppef-they entirely too long for man,''
And yours replied Pat, sought to be heightened
they are too short for ass
'What are wages here?" asked n laborer Of boy.
81 don't know, SIR ''What does your father get
on Saturday night,-' Get," said the boy, ''why.
he gets rs tight as brick
The man who thinks his wife, his baby, his house.
his horse, his dog, and himself severay uuequaed,
IS almost sure to be good humored person, though
liable to be tedious Al times.
sswhat's whisEey bringing 40 inquired dealer in
that article.
.'Bringing men to the galIows,' was the reply.
Brown is married \ few days since he
thought of taking trip to Paris One of his friends
meeting him in tie street inquired
"WeiI, Brown, ny boy, when are you of ?"
'sTo-morrow-"
"Do you take your wife with you,'
"NOi : it's voyage Of pleasure e-'-Bostoa Post
It is said that the rose Of Florida the most heauti-
full Of flowers pnits fragrance; the bird of Para
dse, the mcSbeautiful Of birds sings songs; the
Cypress Of Greece the finest of trees, bears fruit;
the dandies and shiniest or men, have sense the
bail bellies, the l0vclest creatures in the world
dtto-and liotle more
Roland and Oliver of the most famous in
the list of Charernagnes twelve peers and their
plos we're rendered 50 rificulously and equally
exravagant by the old Fomances, that from thence
the saying among their plain and sensible
ancestors, OF giving Roland for OIiver,''
to- signify the matching of incredible lie to
another.
SCHOOL sruDrrs.-Had 1 the choice of only four
things to he taught my children they should te
To sing well
To read we'll:
To write well
To sketch well: -
Perfection in these viii their possessor to /
maintenance in any country. and will enable him to
amuse himself or entertair company whether it he |
under rock in tle-desert- upon 9crag IN the
-Ea!I's Journal or Heaih
A MoDEI. OBIruARY.-s. Parson Browniow,' of /
the Knoxville. TeE-, whis, complains of the obitua-
RES which people furnish of their deceased iens for
Publication. lie prints the following model in
length and
Departed this life on--tiay in the--yea- Of
hil age, w. g. Brownlow, for many years the editor
Of newspaper. He desired it stated to the world
that if he had his life TO live he could improve IT
In many respects. He leaves apologies to be made
to in this life, and asks favor of anybody con
the other side of Jordan but his God His friends,
ifhe have any leit behind, can be of no service to
him; his enemies, he IS proud to know, can't reach
him.
Caro- or SrATuEs.-Cato the elder, when many Of
the Romans had statues erected in honor of them, was
asked, by some one, 'Why he had nones lie
answered that she had much rather men should ask
and wonder why he had NO statue, than why he had
statue
Boswell, the biographer of DR.. johnson, records
the of who had entirely lost his character
and in consequence committed suicide: crime which
Dr. johnson reprobated with great severity. Why,
SIR argued Boswell, '-the man had becomed in
famous for life; what would you have him do:"
Do, sir'' replied the sage. "I would have him 60
to some country where he not known, and not to
the devil where he was KNOWN.
DISPUTED QuFsTfox.--An old topper, after indul-
gng quite freely in his accustomed beverage, amused
himself in teasing mettle-some horse The animal
not fancying his hmiliarities, suddenly reared and
the disciple Of Bacchus found himself sprawng in an
adjacent mudpuddle Gathering himself up as COM
posedly as his situation would allow, ne shouted to
his son who standing by.
John, did you kick that ere hoss 2!
Why, no dad; the hoss kicked you - "Reckon
not, John. One or tother Of Us got badly histed-
Idtst me. John, for Tn here P' -
Rich EDIToRs--An exchange says that editors
are, as general thing, not stocked with world
" goods Humbug. Here we are, editor Of a coan-
try paper fairly rolling in wealth. We have good
ofhce, double barreled rifle, suits Of clothes,
three kittens, Newfoundland pup, two gold
watches, thirteen day aud night shirts, carpets
On our foor, pretty wife, own corner lot, have
cents IN cash, out Of debt, and have
no r,ch relatives Ii we not wealthy it is pity
hnrrsh for hurrah. Who cares for cash Horizon
tHlal .7rsss. l.
ieung ladies' who faint on being proposed to-
can De restored to consciousness by just whispering
IA 'neir ears that yon only joking