Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1858-01-14
Amnsing 8eabn1g~
SUIT LovENGooD's LIZARDS.
BY S. L., OF TENNESSEE.
Ss.-EIT DULLER REWARD.

ane wun what kctchs him. fur the cacus owe Wun
SUTTY LorENGooD ded ur alive. IN safely GIN over
tn the car owe Passon John Bullin at Squire mac
Junkins fur a raisn owe the devil permlscusly,
discumfurtin the wimen powerful an skarin owe
folks gineray at the retil snaix springs big meetn,
signed by me
attested tn by JoHN BrLLIN, the paSSon.
Jehu Wethorun.
found written copies of the above highly
intellisible and vindictive proclamation
stuck up on every blacksmith shop, doggery
and store-door in the Frog Mountain range.
Its blood-thirsty, vindictive spirit, its style,
and, above all, its chirography, interested me
to the extent of stealing one from tree for
preservation.
In few days found Sut in good crowd
in front of Capehart's small doggery, and, as
he proved to be about sin tune read it
to him. eyes George, that ar dockiment
am in yearnest, sartin. They dus want me
powerful bad, but I spect cit dullers wont
fetch me. III go mysef fur fifty, planked
down, eff you'll go long an see me hev justlc.
Lite, lite, old feller, and let that roam owe
yourn blow little, IN I'll splaiu this cussed
afar what jes runiated my karacter as plus
pusson in the sciety about here. 1e see, L
went tu last years big meetin at Ratll Snalx
Springs, an wer sittin ip nice shady place
convarsin with frieu in the huckil berry
thicket, when the fust thing kuow'd |
woke from trance, what I'd been knocked
inter by four year old hickory stick in the
han of ole Passon Bulin, durn his alliga-
tor lookin hide an he wur standin strad-
die owe me, foamin at the mouth an
preachin tu me about sartin sins an my wick
edness ginerally. My poor frien wur gone,
and l vas glad owe it, fur l thot he ment tu
kill me with his club eff he failed tu preach
me tu deth, and didn't want her tu see
me die"
"Who was the friend you speak of, sut?"
"N.u-n Owe your b-i-s-n-i-s-durn your
little ankshus picter! But I'll tell ye one
thing, George; that nitea neibor gall got an
orful confounded stroppin frum hur mum
with the stirrup lether owe saddil, an ole
Passon Bullin had ct supper that mite; and
what's wus nur all, she cooked for him an
begged him trimblin an cryin not tu tell OF
her, the burned infurnel, hiperkritical, pot
bellied, whiskey wasting old ground hog;
but I paid i'm fur it all, eff [ haint | will. L
mean tu keep payin owe him all the time:
Well, at mex big meetiu at Ratil Snaix, l
wur on han, as solem as hat kerier at COL
lection time, fur had promised the old hog
to cum and be convarted, jist to keep him
frum KILN me. I tuck seat on the steps
owe the pulpit, tu pruve l wur in yearnest.
Their was a monstrous crowd in that grove, an
ole Bullin wur a preachin tn EN- at an ortul
rate-how the hell sarpints wud sarve EN- ct
they didn't repent-how the'd crawl over
EN-, rap thar tails roun thar necks, poke
their tungs inter thar eyes and blow inter
thar years and eff it wur omen, how they'd
guile in her bussum, an try tn crawl down
under her frock-string. An he had EN- hot,
hollerin and scared; the fac is, the thing
wus a workin powerful. Now I'd kotch five
big gray pot-bellied Lizards, and had EN- in
q little narrer bag, what made a-purpose-
thar tails all at the bottom, an packed as titc
as bundil owe sticks. So while he wur
rarin onto his tip-toes, onbenownst tu any
body, ontied my poke an put the mouth
up under his britches leg, an gin thar tails
a squeeze an shake, when they all tuck up
his bar leg, maxim owe a noise sorter like
sauiarils a climbn shell bark hickory. lie
stopped preachin and looked fur a moment
like he wur listnin fur sumthing, sorter
like an ole SOW dus when she hears you
whistle fur the dogs. Igive a big groan, an
helt my head atween my knees. Then he
commenced slapin owe his self whar ye cut
the stake outeu beef, then he'd fetch a
ruff rub whar hosses tail sprouts, then he'd
stomp, then run his han atween his walsbun
an his shut, an reach down an roun mitily
with it-then he spred his big legs and give
his back good shakin sort owe rub again the
pulpit sorter like hog scraches agin stump,
a leanin tu his work powerful, and squirmin
ginerally zif he'd jist cum outen hog bed,
ur he'd slep on a pisant trail. About this
time wun owe my Lizards (scared and hurt,
I spose, by all this rubin an scratchin and
slappin) poked his he'd out atween the pas
sons shut collar an his ole brown neck, tuck
peep at the circumstances, and dodge back
agin. Ole Bullin's speech now cum TO him;
his eyes stickin out like two buckeyes flung
again mud wall, an his voice trimblin;
sez he, sBretherin, take keer owe yersefs, the
hell sarpints hev got r,c.' Sum ovc the
wimmin fotch a painter yell, an ramrod
legged doctor what sot near me, allowed 1t
wur clar case owe Delicious Tremenjus, an
| thot he wur rite, fur it pur tremenjus a
fore it wur dun with. Off went the claw
hammer coat, an he flung it ahind him like
he wur q gwine inter a tte, Che he'd no
iackit on) Mex he fotch his shut over his
he'd faster nur 1 got outen my pasted wun,
an he flung it up in the air like he didn't
care durn if it kept on furever, but it lodg-
ed onto a blackjack. seed wun owe my
Lizards racin about over the big old dirty
lookin shut, skared, like he seemed. Then
he Gin sorter shake an twist, and he cum
out of his britches, and he tuck EN- by the bot
tom owe the legs and swung EN- roun his
he'd few times an then fotch EN- down
cherullup over the front owe the pulpit. You
could've hearn the smash a quarter owe