Daily national Democrat., 1858-12-17
4allg 9lattoua( democrat,
From the San Andreas Independent.


Tricks and Defeats of Sporting Genius.
We once read with amazement the achieve
ments of the great "North American pie
bitter" who, after n series of disasters at
cards, bet his last "scad" on biting through
the crust and trimmings of eleUen pies at a
single snap of his ponderous jaws, and was
only baked by the slight-ofhand of his
wretched antagonists, who rung in tin plates
and choke-pears about the center of the pile
We listened with profound attention, several
years ago. to the narrative of a gentleman
from "Y York," who was explaining to large
crowd, perfectly new system of exploding
magazines, by means of what he termed "the
portable dog battery which he illustrated
by the following instance of its terrible eff
fects: He was much annoyed by a hungry,
sinister glass-eyed cur, and set his wits to
work for his destruction in such way that
the murder could not out" Securing q
piece of meat the size and shape of hem
egg, he followed it out after the fashion of
bullet-moulds, ami filled the cavity with gun
powder, inserting a small bit of punk into
the power in precisely such a position that
when lit, it would slip down the ours throat
without being extinguished by the moisture,
and explode the "internal machine" at the
exact moment that it had fairly settled in
his stomach Just as those terrible sub ma
rne shells are set off at the moment the ship
they are intended to destroy is floating on
the wave under which they are concealed.
Well, along came poor Jewer, hungry and
ravenous as usual, and down went "Yorks'
battery, at single gulp. He had only clear
ed about ten yards, however, when our artil-
lery cadet, who had taken secure position
behind a stone wall, h card a suppressed howl
of agony, and the next instant an awful ex-
plosionl Rising up to inspect the ruin, he
found the air darkened with dust and frag-
ments of the hapless cur-here and there at
great distance from the point Of the catas-
trophe, lay rib or a section of back bone
fifty yards off was the head, still rolling and
rochetting like a huge cannon ball, and
after the lapse Of minute, down came the
tail, from a trip in the air as high as Glide
roy's kite. Not greasespot was left of the
cur This was very well done, but there was
nothing made by it, for "Y York" was chisseled
out Of his patent, Gy Brigadier of militia.
Joe D, formerly OF Calayeras county,
was, is, and always will be q sport" He
bets on every game, but has particular pen
chant for dead things" such as thimble-rig
and French monte, and from some cause, al
ways a mystery of course, he was generally
dead broke" Well, one day he was in a
neck of woods where poker games We're as
thick as blackberries in the angles of an Old
Virginia fence, and those who played them
as much sharper than himself as u cambric
needle is sharper than the Big Tree stump.
Joe borrowed an Y, and set his wits to work
for raise. Lounging on an old log that lay
over prospect hole-now eloquent with the
eroaking of hundred frogs, he observed
small. trim-buit musical little cuss, doing
some of the tallest kind of leaping. Joe gave
ehase-over banks of rubbish, through bogs
and down into deep hole went his frogship,
and down went Joe, up to his eyes in mud
and water. Joe had an "idea, he had! The
frog was quickly fshed out and away he
went to the landlord, as jolly an old Boniface
as ever drew cork from bottle of ale. "Ill
bet an X" said Joe, chat this eres a blood
ed race frog, an kin jist outiump any other
croaking varmint in the nineteen States"
"Take that bet" said Boniface. "COme DOZEN
with yer spondulicks," retorted Joe-and the
cash was stalIed. The champions were soon
brought to the scratch, and at the word,
away they went-and away went the land
lords X-losing by foot and half Boni-
face was not satisfied. He offered to double
the bet and jump in the morning. "Done,"
said Joe, and down went two 20's. That
night, tidings of the "new game" spread
throughout the neighboring gulches, and
down the road as far as Sucker creek" and
"Sardne Hill" In they crowded-"Sucker"
and "Sardine" with the "greeneyes" from
"Tadpole bar" and down went their dust on
the new game Jack II, who was an old
turfman, and never deceived in the "pints
an muscle NV hoss, bet his money on Joe's
nag, and all "Suckerdom" and all the "Tad
pole" boys went in on Jacks judgment Old
! Boniface had his Lends who knew he was
"weighty" on a repeat. SO next morning
the frogs were brought to the score, sur
rounded by three hundred interested specta-
tors The word was given, and away they
went-aas for poor joe and the suckers, :"
and the "Ta1poles," with most disastrous
result to them! The "blooded frog" let down,
worse than Gray Eagle" in his renowned
race with "Wagoner." "Hello," said one,
'hes sick, they've drugged i'm" "lightnin'
hes struck the critter," dryly remarked Boni-
face; "throw off" muttered another. Old
Weaseleye, pushed through the crowd and
picked up the discounted racer, and holding
him above his head, squeezed out of his stom-
ach about pound of hird-shot, which BOni-
face had fed him in the night, mistaking
them for flies. Forty highpressure boats,
putting against the current of the Mississippi,
or a hundred bowling wolves would be a
dead silence to the roar and yells that fol-
lowed Joe as his coat tail disappeared behind
the next hill.