Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1858-04-10
A TALE OF THE GREAT SARATOGA
TRUNK.

old Anthracite has a very dear wife-so dear
that she costs him on her own private account
about fifteen thousand dollars year Mrs.
Anthracite always has the latest fashions. so
when the great Saratoga trunk was exhibited in
broadway Mrs y. instantly purchased one for
her summer trip.
Every one knows that the great Saratoga
trunk is, an unexceptionable trunk. 1t is col
ossal-oi Titanic proportions Cheeps, the
builder Of the great pyramid, might have found
ample accommodation for her entire household
in the great Saratoga trunk.
Accordingly down wen. Mrs. 4. TO the great
watering place, with her great trunk. She had
not been long there. however, when old An
thracite received private telegraph from a
friend TO inform him that Mrs 4. was flirting
desperately with Young Belsebub the son and
heir of old Belzebub. the great soap-boiler. An
thracite instantly takes the train. arrives at the
hotel, and. inquiring the number of his wife's
room, quietly walks up stairs. His wife's door
is shut. Anthracite knocks. Door opens after
some delay. Mrs. \. appears huttcred, which
tlutter increases to dismay when she secs her
husband. Husband enters coolly explains that
he Just came to see how she was getting on.
and seats himself on the Saratoga trunk. Drops
glove, the picking up of which enables him to
look under the bed No one there Mrs 4.
looked as if one ought to be there. Husband
talks of the weather, and the pair are sitting
down to little light conversation, when old
Anthracite remarks quietly:
Mrs. ~, there's rat i'll your trunk
Mrs. \. turns pale through her paint. No.
Husband is mistaken. The rat is in the vain
scot. They are always there, those rats. Hus-
band is sure it is in the trunk. He smells him
he will examine. Mrs. A. very anxious he
should not. He can't The trunk is shut. and
she has lost the key. Husband begs to contra
dict. The key was in the lock and what was
more-the lid was open.
Husband, amid the protestations of Mrs. A.
half raised the lid. No crinc Inc, no shawls. no
lace, no furbelows in the great Saratoga trunk
only young Belzebub's glossy curls and killing
moustache are visible. Mrs. A. instantly faints.
It's the privilege of her sex. on such occasions.
What does husband do? Shoot Young Belize
bub? Not bit of it, He smiles grimlv and
shuts the lid down again. locking the great Sar-
atoga trunk. He rings the bell tells the waiter
to bring gimlet. Bores few holes in the
great trunk. Orders up the porter, and goes
of to New York accompanied by the great Sar-
atoga trunk. What would the trunk not have
given for a cigar in baggage-car, when it
smeled the tobacco smoke that was so liberallv
pulled about, The trunk, although nearly suf-
focated, thought it best to keep quiet. Arrived
at New York. old Anthracite told the people at
the Depot, loud enough for the great Saratoga
trunk to hear him, that he would leave his bag
gage at the office for few days, when he would
send for it. He then went off This was more
than the great trunk could bear. so it kicked.
shouted and made noise until it was broken
open. and to the amazement of everybody, poor
Bezebub crawled out in a lmping condition
lie tried to tell the people that it was done for
bet, but somehow the truth leaked out and