The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1858-11-27
Editing n Pnpcr.

We copy from the O,peousas Gazette Of
Jan. 49, 1880, the following which shows that
,wcutyeight years ago the difficulties Of an
editor Of o newspaper were the same rs they
are now, and the same will always exist
"Thstruth is, an editor cannot step without
rcading on somebody's toes. Ii he express
e, hs opinions fcarlessly aud frankly, he is
arrogant aud prc,umptlous II he states
facts without comments, he darcs not express
% hi, sentiments. If he eonscicntiously refuses
u adyucitcLhc claims of Sn-iudiviIua To Of
fee, be- is accused Of hostilty.-rA jackanapc.
who measures of words into verse as q clerk
does tapc-hy the. ynrd-hinds him a par
eel of stuff that jinplcs like a handful Of nails
aud gimblr,s, and II the editor is not fool
enough To print the nonsense, "Stop my pa
perl won't patronize man that's no better
Judge Of poetry as il IL were patronage TO
huy a paper at about ouc-hilC more than SO
much waste paper wuuid cost. one MUIR
murs because his paper is not literary, anoth-
cr because II is literary another because il
is rot litorary enough One ruumhlGs hc-
cause the advertisements cngrosS too much
room another complains that the paper is
too largc-wc can't ind time 10 read it ALL
One wants type so small that a. microscope
would he indispensable in every family y-
another threatens To discontinue the paper
unless the letters urc half an inch long-auc
..ld lads sctuuiiy-ufipfed an additional price
for a paper that should he printed in type as
large as is used for hnndhlls.
Every subscriber has plan Of his own for
conducting a Journal, and the labor or Sisy-
Ihus was recreation when compared with that
of an editor who undertakes to please all"
l.r\RNED Bows have seen silly parents
irving 20 get their children to say that thev
liked work better than play. | have seen.
with ioy, manly little fellows repudintinp the
uNtl Al
ing manGlly that they preferred cricket to
Ovid. And II any boy ever tells YOU that he
would rather learn his lessons than 20 out TO
the playground, beware of that boy Either
his health is dropping, and. his mind bccom-
ing prcmnturcly and unnaturally developed.
or hc'is little humbug. lie is seeking to
obtain credit under false prctences.
Magazine.
CT- II has long been a Joke against the
Irish hrick-aycr who, in his anxiety to gain
q wager he bad laid with u fellow workman,
ahat he could not curry him on his hod to the
top Of a high building, confessed his hopes
when his bearers foot slipped near the fifth
story; but in Mr.. Faskill's Life Of the Bronte
Girls there is an nnccdotc of York shire far
mcr which throws Pat quite in the shade. II
appears he had insured his life, and the pay
mcnt OF the premium was great grief TO the
-,.lScr. lust before the second payment of
the annual premium came around, a mortal
sickness seized the unfortunate, who when
the doctor and the parson conformity announc-
cd his approaching fate, lincd himself in the
bed, and with a chuckle which rose in grin
ming triumph, over the death-rattle cried /;
"Ecod YOU don't say so, going TO die ! POUNDS
then shall do the Insurance chaps, after all
out of their money. Ecod, was always n
lucky dog"
~ Tom Cooke tells a story of an occur.
renee at provincial theatre in ireland, where
Mncready was prrSunptiug NirgiuiuS. m
preparing for the scene iu which the body of
DcntatuS is brought ON the stage, the mana
ger called topat his property man, for the
bier Pat being OF "hcavyr temperament,
responded to the call by saying hc would
fetch it "immaditly." Pat next made his APP
prarancc with full foaming pot Of the right
sort, and was received with anger for his stu
pidity "The bier, you hlockhcad" thun-
dcred the manager. "And isn't it here" eX-
claimed Pat, presenting the mug. Not that,
YOU donkey ! mean the barrow for Denta-
tusr-''Thcn why don't YOU call things by
thei right namcs?" muttercd Pat. "Who
would suppose you meant the barrow when
YOU called for beer9"
A LAwyERs SruRY.-Tom strikes Dick
over the shoulders with a ratau as big rs
your litle finger A lawyer, in his indict
ment, would tell you the story as follows
And that whereas the said Thomas, at the
said place, on the year and day aforesaid, in
and upon the body Of the said Richard,
against the people of the state of Pennsyiva-
INA sod TIER dignity, did make a most vio-
lent assault, and inflicted great many and
divers flows, kicks, cuffs, ihumps, bumps,
sontusons, gashes, hurts, wounds, damages
and injuries, in and upon the head, neck,
breast, stomach, hips, knees, Sims and heels
Of said Richard, with divers sticks. canes,
ro'es, clubs, logs of wood, stones, dsggers,
dirks, e~ortls, pistols, cutlnsses, hludgeons,
blunderbusseS, and boSrding-pkeS,i then aed
there held in the hands, fStS, claws, and
lutchcs Of hin, the said Thomas"