The Cadiz Democratic sentinel. [volume] (Cadiz, Ohio) 1854-1864, 1858-04-14
Dumorons Mlatttr,
A Business-Iike Cour,hip.

4 BuSincSS-Iike COurIShip.
There is story oAoat about five minutes
courtship between thriving and busy merchant
Of watering place in England, aud lady for
whom, in conjunction with deceased friend,
he was trustee. The lady called at his count
ing house and said that her business was to con-
snlt him on the propricty or otherwise Of her
accepting an offer Of marriage which she had
received.
Now for the first time, occurred tc the Bris-
tol merchant the idea of This holy estate in his
own case. .. -.-... s-f.-a. .a.
Marriage" said he, listlessly turning over
some West Indian correspondence "Yell, | sup
pose everybody ought to marry, though such
thing never occurred 10 me before Have YOU
given this gentleman IN affirmative answer
"No"
"Ars yonr feelings particularly engaged in
the matter?'
"Not particularly"
''Well, then, madam" said he, turning round
his office stool, "f that be the case, and if you
could dispense with courtship, for which | have
no time, and think you would he comfortable
with me, am your humble servant 10 con-
mandH'
There were people who thought that the la
dy had purpose in going there, but il 50, she
prudently disguised it. The Bristol merchant
saw her out with the same GOODNESS as if she
was merely one Of his correspondentS,an when
she was gone five minutes, was once more i'm
mersed in his letters and ledgers.
4 day or two after he had communication
from the lady, accepting his OFFER very consid-
erately cxcusing HIN from an elaborate court
ship and leaving him to name the 'most conve-
nient season." They were married.
ExtcnapOre Preacssing.
There are some people who, at this late day,
dislike exceedingly to listen to a preacher who
makes use Of written sermons. A minister
whom we fell in company with recently, gave us
a little Of his early experience on this point,
related the following incident:
He said that just before leaving the theologi-
cal school, he was sent to certain Baptist
church in New Hampshire, to supply for sim
gle Sabbath and was directed when he arrived
TO call on. one Of the memberS-an old farmer
at whose house it was expected he would put up.
when he arrived, the old farmer received him
cordially, and immediately commenced question
ing him as follows: a
"You have come to preach for us, have you?"
eyes, sir, Ihave come with the expectation"
"Do you make use Of written sermons?''
II do"
"Then we don't want YOU I'll speak to the
people myself first! We want man that can
open his mouth, and have the gospel flow like
water gushing out the tail Of q saw mill, and
and that will melt down the hearts OF the peo-
pie like hoI cy On rock"
Got Him There.
While number Of lawyers and gentlemen
e., Ill
son Of the Emerald Isle appeared and called for
dinner The landlord told him he should dine
when the gentlemen were done eating.
Let him among u.s. whispered limb of
the law, land we shall have some fun with him."
The Irishman took his seat at the table.
"You were not born in this country, my
fiend."
"No, sir; was born in Ireland"
as your father living"
"No, he is dead"
"What is your occupation?S
IA horse jockey" F
"What was your fathers occupation?I
"frading horses"
"Dd your father ever cheat any ono whilc
here?''
Il suppose he did cheat many. sir"
"Where do you suppose he went tor
"To Heaven, sirh
elias he cheated any one there?"
ale has cheated one, | believe"
"Why did they not prosecute him."
"Beccausc they searched the whole kingdom
of Heaven, and couldn't find lawyer"
A RUsE-One Of the Secretaries OF State for
the United States struck out good mode OF
getting rid of an intruder in particular case.
1t appears that the doorkeeper of the Secre-
tarys office was remarkably obliging, which
proved quite the thing for a rabid Office Seeker
who managed to get in every day and bother
the Secretary. When the annoyance continued
three or feur days, the Secretary stepped up one
day to the door-keeper and asked If he knew
what that man came after daily.
yes" said the functionary, "an office,
suppose"
"rrue; but do you know what ofice?n
"No."
"Well, then, I'll tell you, he wants your
place"
The next morning the scene between the
Office seeker aiid the polite doorkeeper is said
to have been rich; from the peculiar manner in
which the intruder was informed
"Thc Secretary was not at homem
THE WAY He UNDERsTooD IT.-The Terre
Haute Express relates the following anccdote
Of a little chap named Ambrose, but called
Amp for short.
He lived at distance from the village, and
had seldom seen the inside Of a church. One
day travelling preacher held forth at the school
house near the boys home. Amp LEFT off
scratching in the sand, and went in and heard
attentively. At the close Of the meeting he
haStened home and cred out,
"Mother, where IS the wash basin, where is
the wash basin2'
"Wlly, what is the matter now?" said she.
"Why, mother, the minister said, "he that
hath clean hands shall be stronger and stronger"
0,.T-An old armer--one who feared neither
God nor lnan--had hired devoted negro, and
to get somo Sunday work out Of him, would al
ways plan case of necessity on Saturday. and
on Sunday would put this point to the mans
conscience. s
One Sunday morning Sambo proved re eracto.
ry. lie wonld work 40 more on Sunday
The master argued with him that it was case
Of necessity--that tho Scriptures allowed a
man to get out of q pit on the Sabbath day .
beast that had fallen into it.
"Yes, massa," rejoned the black, 'but not il
he spent Saturday in digging de pit fol de berry
purpose"
6TWe have all heard Of the smiles Of Provi.
dence. was much pleased with Uncle Jim's
lea on the subject 4tyE@
Good morning, Uncle Jm." 1ys
"Good morning. = s-.~+as-..----l---
"wsl, you have got your daughter married
of, have you2'' ss
"Yes' ts }yv
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