Worcester daily spy. [volume] (Worcester [Mass.]) 1850-1888, 1858-12-27
BOLD IMPOSITION.


Long before the days of Paracelsus. unhap- |
Ply man, with his aches and his ais, and his |
general most delightful heritage of woe, was
made the sore sport and victim of quack-sal-
yers. Nor has the world in this regard, very
much improved since. A great many people
who would at once detect any other quack, are
thoroughly humbugged by the quack of pill
or Of potion. They give implicit crcdence to
the gibberish of every medical mountebank,
and it makes but little difference whether he
be fool who believes in his own medicines,
or a knaye who would not himself take them
without strenuous resistance The case of
Bennett rs. Bennett is now pending in the
courts in New Haven, from which the COM
palnant seeks divorce from the respondent,
her husband, upon the ground of cruelty
The respondent is manufacturer Of pills,
which are calculated for the region of the liver
but will answer for the adjoining parts. The
complainant, in order to show that the Doctor
was notorious, consummate, and most accom-
plished liar, put in pamphletput out by him
and 1t Is to the unparalleled and really sublime
mendacity Of this Pil-Pamphlet that we wish
TO call the attention of amateurs of lying In
the course of this wonderful work, Dr. Ben
nett stated to an invalid public, and especially
to those who wept their childlessness, that he
was, at one time without offspring, while the
languishing health Of Mrs Bennett forbade
him to indulge in those pleasing hopes of pa
ternlty which would otherwise have gilded his
waking hours, and filed his sleep with raptur-
GUS dreams. But the doctor was a man of
tremendous science He invented a pill of
such power, force and virtue, that, after taking
II, MIS- Bennett, in an incredibly short space
OF time, became the mother of "twelve bloom
ing, healthy, and interesting children" At
the head of this pleasing and almost incredi-
bic narrative of fruitfulness, the Doctor placed
wooden cut, in which he was represented
with baby IN his arms and Mrs. Bennett was
represented with baby in her arms, while
around his legs and her skirts, were gathered
ten other children, making we may be sure
the prettiest work of art ever designed to illus
trate the virtues of pill Diverted of ro-
nance, the solemn truth was that, so far from
taking the Doctors medicine the Doctors
wife, who knew too well what it was made of,
and who was in fact obliged to assist in max
ing 1t, would as soon have swallowed henbane.
Having used up his wife by thus restoring
her to health, the Doctor, as he states in the
pamphlet, next tackled his father He sings
this little medicinal idyl with great JUNCTION
and pathos. He represents the elder Bennett,
aged 20, in a woodcut, reading the Bible. He
then narrates that the senior Bennett, "a
number OF years ago was very sick" He was
attended by eighteen celebrated doctors
night and day, and therefore the wonder is
that he lived for twenty-four hours. The
household is in despair The dying man then
delivers a speech, in which he states that, al
though he had spent incredibly large sums in
making DIR. Bennett, Jr., doctor, yet that the
vagrant practitioner was now in foreign lands,
acquiring by personal observation, a knowl-
edge of Indian Vegetable Remedies. Tell
IN hon hr, ,,riv, I Ill. i i
nett, that leave to his mother the sum of
100000, and to him the sum of S2OOO,OOO,
together with all my vessels" He here was
taken with shortness of breath the neighbors
were sent for, and praying was commenced,
when suddenly, "a rumbling noise was heard
IN the street. Twas the youthful Bennett, NJ
u. " a rumbling noise was heard in the dis
lance, ike mighty chariot, winding its way
with great speed nearer and nearer 1chen all ut
once " Exquisite bully "a beautiful coach
stood before the door, out of which alighted
noble and elegant looking man" This was
young Doctor Bennett He kissed his NAM
ma, and she tainted. He rushed to the bed
side Of his dying papa He FASTENED back to
ms COACH which was freighted with "plants
and roots, such as are always used by " the
red men OF the forest . when they feel unwell.
Young Bennett gave old Bennett root, and
an herb, Old Bennett began to feel better in
just two years. He kept up the doses He
Kept the system regular. And the result was
that the ancient person entirely recovered, and
hVed to be nlnety-tiye, and the grandfather of
young Doctor Benefits twelve children
The mystery to US is that such incredible
nonsense as this should impose upon any body
even poor people, whose understandings are
impaired by disease. That people are thus
daily cheated, we are sorry to believe. But it
is not often that we have the chance of expos
ing. such cruel knayery and it is a chance
which we have to the best Of our ability i'm
proved.-N. Y. Tribune.