Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1858-07-14
An Arkansas Wedding,

Arkansas. Ibis State, Of all the
Southern confederacy, is ridden by
demagogues and politicians, rich in hel
soil and mineral wealth, and poorest il
everything like internal improvements
and commercial facilities of all kinds
Her public roads are quagmires, and
her rivers innocent Of any improve
ments save those afforded by nature
Jogging along over one of these self
same roads, l broke my buggy to drive
round a spacious spot where some
philanthropist had erected hickory
sapling, bearing these ominous words:
''No bottom here"
DELAYED and benighted, | at last
reached log house, whose blazing fire
light through the open door promised
comfort, and if | guessed Alright, some
half dozen horses hitched at the gate,
indicated that ''something was going
on" | hailed:
''Hellow, who lives there?"
Me, Bob Woods. What do you
''supper and lodging, if you can ac-
commodate me-"
This brought Bob Woods to the gate,
where he proceeded to inform me that
his daughter Melinda was about get
tin married, but he'd as lief make a
dollar as not, if I'd feed my horse my
self and sleep Oh corn husk down be-
fore the fire. I jumped at the offer,
and got out Of my buggy-fed Light
ning'' better supper than he ever had
before-washed my hands, and went
in to see the fun. l was made at home
in a moment. The idea an "Orleans
feller," currying and feeding his own
horse, was something entirely new, and
| was fayoritc instanter, guaranteed
by prompt invitation to liquor. The
parsOn imbibed, drew an enormous red
bandanna across his countenance, and
announced that he was "ready to talk
when the rest was"
This brought forth the happy couple.
The groom was a lucky specimen in
homespun, and led his bride by the
hand. She was bouncing, rosy
checked damsel, following a step or
two behind, feeling evidently in nov
el position.
"You, Melinda, take your finger out
of your mouth"
Melinda cast q defiant look at her
maternal relative, Withdrawing the Of
Tending member, wiped it upon her
apron, and quickened her pace. The
young parson after some little trouble
arranged them to his satisfaction and
proceeded:
s,John Stribner, do you take Melin-
da W oods, in the presence Of these wit
nesses, to be your lawful and welded
wife %
"That's what I'm here for" answer
ed the groom, examining his hands in
to his breeches pockets.
"You will please to answer yes or
no."
eyes or no" promptly returned the
gentleman.
"No. no! say yes"
''Y -a-a-s, then!" casting a sheepish
look around him.
"Melipda Woods.'
'sY -a-a-sn'
"Wait moment, please. Melindy
Woods, do you take John Stribner, in
the presence Of these witnesses, to be
your lawful and welded husband"
II reckon
''Then in the presence of these wit
pesses spoken of, | declare you man
and wife, 'cordin to the laws Of Arkan-
sas, and the gospiI; an wot's thus jim
ed let no man put in sunder.''
The parson turned away, flushed and
excited, but was recalled by query
from Mr.. Stribner.
'sMusn't kiss her now, GeoFge?"
Gas you please, John; she's yours
now"
"Hold up your mouf, Melinda
"Shan't do it right here, fore folks.'
John didn't argue the point, but he
sided Up to the grinning group where |
was standing, and proposed that Gus
boys should take some busthead -
(whisky.)
-z>- 900 ~Ssz-