Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1858-12-02
.Amnsiing 8eaa11g.
A YANKEE IN GOTHAM.

YANKEE IN GOTHAM.
Q extract the following from a recent
Of six cantos, describing the first visit
Yankee from Weathersfeld, to that
wilderness of wealth and wickedness,
ed upon the map "New York;"
81 FASTENED down the winding stairs,
And took-to church-my way,
To hear o "NeW York sermon" preached,
And hear-the organ play.
Reform demands that oil things else
Should to it be conformed,
And pious people, knowing this,
Even churches are reformed.
Forgetting that upon Rock
A church should always stand,
They use the "Roeks," to build the church,
And found it on the sand.
coaches saw, with livery,
Arrayed before the door,
Like flaring signs, on which was writ,
"We dont ddmH We poor.
And these to wealthy men belonged,
Whose fearful lack Of wit
Kind fortune had supplied with gold,
To counterbalance It,
Who, if unto the gates Of death
Sufficient width were given,
Wou,d like to take carriage through,
And ride along to Heaven.
I asked the sexton for seat,
Where could '.hear and see;
he teok me to the gallery,
Where all the seats were free.
And soon the "eminent Divine"
As stiff as any pole,
Went tripping up the aisle. as though
The ground might hurt his soIe'
He mounted on his gaudy box,
With sundry 'hems" and "haWs,'
And thus commenced the solemn rites,
"Sexton, please shut those doors"
He turned the Bible pages Ger
In quite q graceful way,
Then spread his hands above his head,
And whispered, "Let Us pray"
He prayed for blessings on the church,
(And looked towards-the steePSe,)
So ardently, that he forgot
To speak about the people.
Two ancient females at my side
Were desth-like silence keeping;
The prayer had acted like charm,
They were "not dead, but-sleeping."
And, then the "fnished orator"
Commenced his great discourse,
Denouucing every sort of vice,
Except his own, Of course.)
He made bottle Of our sins,
Uncorkedi it with a. frown,
Then with his text he labeled it,
And poured the gospel down.
He spoke of loving charity,
Aud said, sin this connection,
Well sing the Missionary Hymn,
5 And take up-a collection"
(The wealth that gives with open hand
When crowds are there to see,
In private scorns the last appeal
OF honest poverty.) -
The organist, to act his part,
Produced great effect,
And want Of harmony was oil
The fault could detect.
At first there was fearful moan,
And then a direful squeal,
Like some poor pigs expiring cry
Beneath O carriage wheel.
And then a horrid rumbling noise
Through every corner rang;
Ten persons in the gallery
The church'spraises sang.
A favorite quickstep was the tune,
With pauses and variation,
To suit the most fantastic taste
In all the congregation.
A congregation so devout
And pious in its ways,
That people who denied God,
They hired to sing Gods praise.
thought I'd rather see man,
A selfcoufessed sinner,
Than use religion as mask,
went, and-took my dinner.
Such piety is all farce,
A strange, fanatic passion,
That leads mankind to 60 to church,
Because--"It is the fashion,"
. Mark how fat Cresus, in his pew,
(His thoughts on Sundays diuner,)
With ostentation calls himself
A miserable sinner"
If this be the religion which
Can bring the soul relief,
My reason must be on the wane;
Lord, help my unbelief.