New Orleans daily crescent. [volume] ([New Orleans, La.]) 1851-1866, 1858-07-26
BY *. X aoBTAn.

CHAPTER s.
It Was night, nowhere, and nowhere was az dark
as bottle Of ink ID barrel or pitch at the bottom 81
we'll, and fortyf0nT thousand times darker than the
concentrated darkness of forty th0nsaHd midnigfts
when upon throne Of petFffed turtle soup, stood the
mighty Geugulphus, monarch Of the Fe 70 FL Fun
Islands, eating slice Of butfered 5eeswax, OCCASION
ally Eetting bis lips by drinking fuidical wrought
iron sheet anchors, fuke foremost.
Around him stood eighty-two thousand nine hum
bred and eighty-seven and q half Gourtiers
Bring forth the whangdo0dle and place IL on the
hewgag I" exclaimed he in a terrific voice, at the
same time cutting of courtiers head with the sharp
edge Of an illuminated cotton bale.
CHATTER II.
The whangdoodie Was placed upon the hewgag-
but before we go further let tske glance at the
political state Of America at the date our story opens
We were involved in war with Mexico and General
Scott was carrying our victorious flag through the
halls Of the MontelooseTs. Gen. Washington, com.
manding the home army, had formed junction With
Christopher Columbus at Nauvoo and defeated the
combined forces OF England, France and Hind0ostan
IN sangulnary retreat on Bungt0wn nights. John
@. Fremont, President Of the United States had an.
pointed James Buchanan Governor or Cape Cod aud
| Napoleon BonapaFte, as Mayor of Bunker Hill as
sisted By Lieutenant General Barney OiTwigger Of
Ireland, was preparing for descent upon the tories
at Cerro Gordo, whilst DR.. Jane, o. s. Surgeon was
constructing strong fort at Cairo, armed with
chain pump and one hundred Of his Carminative
Balsam.
Under these tremendous circumstances no wonder
the men and women Of the nineteenth century were
highly intellectual, and generally speaking, born
when they we're young.
Turn we again to our story.
CHAPTER III.
The whangdoodle was placed upon the hewgag.
Dsmay and terror sat upon the countenances of the
nobility. Lord De Moza iDv0Inntarily elutched Prince
BloWhnshb's costtail, and the Countess Of Fizfnfn
disappeared hysterealiy within her hoops, whilst
bold Count de Scratch, hitherto the bravest Of the
brave, threw himself at the foot Of the throne and
elevated one leg as signal Of the distress But the
mighty Gengulphus was unmoved. Drawing golden
wire saetyfuse from his BOSOM he was in the act Of
attaching one end Of il to the whangd0Odle when
Oh! horror OF horrors he beheld in one corner Of
the room his beloved Selleh locked id the arms Of
zee T. e swash Bosky, Envoy ordinary from the
Isle of Wight
CHAPTER Nv.
To say that Gengulphus was angry would be but
an indifferent statement of the truth. He Yas in
rage. He could Mt contain himself, and consequently
boiled over in torrents that formed puddles Of wrath at
hisfeet: He oamed, raved, ripped and stamped,
rolled kicked and reared At last seizlnRa batteffnr
ram by the horns, he made furious push at the
guilty pair.
CHAPTER v.
"DieE shrieked Gengulgbus, as he twifled the
fearful instrument above their heads but alas in t
swift descent il came in contact with Baron de Boo
seys pipe, and, ganeing at right angles Glove asup
der the massive door leading to the Royal Managerial
| Birthstone and torpedoesl Numbered Gengnlphus--
but be was too late. Ere be could again raise the
huge weapon, a fierce, Economical howl ran through
the rooms and the next moment an infuriated
grizzly Goldfish madly forth from the demolished
door and buried its deadly angs in The seat Of the
mighty Gengulphuse inexpressibles He uttered
sharp cry of pain made one desperate effort to shake
off the moDster-aud then fell to the floor, as dead as
June bug in January.
CHAPTER VI.
| Bnt little more remains to be told. SeIeh soon
after the death Of Gengulpbus stabbed herself with
| bed wrench and her paramour, Fee ii lie Swash
Bosky, becoming stricken with remorse buried him
self in pot of porter-heels up. The Countess Fitz
| Fun eloped with an Egyptian mummy, in good
state Of preservation and the Count de Scratch hay
ing lost the whole Of his fortune in playing Simon
says wig wagn with Lord de Monzo he was forced to
emigrate West, where he enlisted orderly sergeant
to lime kiln, and was shortly afterwards killed by
the accidental bursting of q cabbage head.