Meigs County telegraph. [volume] (Pomeroy [Ohio]) 1848-1859, 1858-04-27
Git-8its.


EEWhy IS loafer in printing offlc
like shade tree? Because We are gla,
when he "leaves."
G4rA coroner's jury recently returne
verdict that Mr.. Dobbs "came to hi
doath BY hanging-around rum-shop.
E1-Six feet in his boots?" exclaiime,
old Mrs. Beeswax. "What will the i'm
pcrence of this world come to, wonder
Why they might just AS reasonably tel
me that man had elk heads in his hat
EUPrenticc says that Nicaragua ant
the United States are two very unfoi tunatt
countries. The former has had her Pres
ident kidnapped and the latter hasn't
lie don't know which is entitled to the
more coincidence.
A CORRECT MI$SoMER,-We know an
old lady who, when she alludes to the
leader of the Mormons, always calls him,
either unintentionally, or else by curious
tumble Of IDEAS, ''Mr. Bigamy Young"
THE ELEVENTH CoMMANDMENr-.Bor
row not thy neighbours newspaper. nor
lounge about public houses and barber s.
ahops to steal the reading of one; hut GO
to him that hath it to sell, and buy for thy
self.
E%The Sunday Mercury, in a fit of
Revolutionary enthusiasm, says:
"IIurray for the girls of76!"
Thunder cries a New Jersv paper,
that's too cid. No, no; Murray for the
girls of l7!''
1EA llibernian, when knocked down.
exclaimed, do You strike u man when
he is down."
"Oh, no." said his antagonist.
Then. faith. an Ill lay here" replied
Fat.
ES-A wag says that Miss is, now "a
days in circumference. as good as mile.
10 the same effect, Punch asserts that il
requires an carly start. now "A days, for
man to get around his wife.
VERY NUMEROUS WoRK.-We have
received copy of q new detector, pub
i-hed ty Peterson of Philadelphia. Ac-
cording To the prospectus in its page:-
1t is published mouthly and also semi
monthly, twice n month, in a large qnarto
page, 32 pages in each number, on the
first and middle Of each month.
Rudolph says that once upon II
time colored cook expected company, of
her own kind, and was at loss how to en-
tertain her friends. 1t was at a :ime of the
year when eggs and butter were high, and
the colored folks generally are at the ex-
pcnse of "cKtras" for their own company.
"Chioc. you must make an apology"
''Good Lord! missus, how can I make |
!! got n, eggs, no butter, n1r nothing
u make II with
EEFellow sinners. said a preacher, i'll
u wore told that by going to the top of1
those stairs yonder,-pointing to a rick
city pair at one end Of the church-you
might secure your eternal salvation, really
hardly believe you would try; but let any
man proclaim there ware a hundred dol. |
lars up there for you. and I'll guarantee
there would be such getting up stairs as
y N nevor did Sec
EEA Down Easter alyerLises fora wife
IN the following manner: "Anv gal what |
gotta COW. good feather bed and fxins.
i've hundred dollars in hard puter. one tbat
l.As hal the measele, and understands ten.
din children. can have customer fot life
by writin' n billy dux addressed Z-r. and
putin 1t on uncle Ebenezer's barn, hine
0'~O' y'i'" thc my pcu
EE-T The "retireI physician" of Jersey
city. whose " sands OF life had 'nearly Il
run OUT some time ago. has procured a
i~w extra barrels Of the article which runs
through the hour glass, and expects to
be able to live for some time vet TO dis
p'sc IT his recipe which he discovered by
'stuiying hard" while in India! He stiille
receives postage stamps from anyb Idy I
. reen enough to send them to him, and
XPects his sands" to last as long AS the 4
amps continue 10 come.-Lndi0napolis I
I,urRdI IL
PHLosoPHY-Experimental philosophy. :.
sklng man TO lend YOU money.
HARD TINEs-Siuing on a cold grind :
tsne reading the Presidents message. a
IA little word within ! tseif Until r
nately connected with shovel and tonps. y
PH"GREss OF TIME--A pedler going =
Trough the land with wooden clocks. :,
PoETRY-A bottle Of ink sprinkled over u
sheet OF foolscap. =,
rArn'or--A man who has neither prop. G,
ny I'or reputation to Iose