The south-western. [volume] (Shreveport, La.) 1852-1870, 1858-10-20

can uIeyaigits dignity? Who can exaggerate its i'm
portauce2 Not to make laws, not TO govern empires
ssl to form those by whom laws are made, armies
led mud empires are governed; to guard from the
slightest tan Of possible infrmity, the fra and yet
8poess creature whose moral, no less than physical
hang must be derived from her; to inspire those
sentiments, which generations yet unborn, and ma
tons vet unevlised, shall learn to Bless to soften
irmness intB mercy, to chasten honor into refine
meBt to exat generosity into virtue; by her soothing
10 allay the anguish of the mind; by her ten
GsTHess to dIsarm passion; by her purity to triumph
over sense; to cheer the scholar laborng under his
tell to console the statesman for the ngrattude of
81 mistaken people, to compensate for hopes that are
blightea for he friends that perdious, for hap
piEess that haa passed away. Such is her vocation
the couch of The tortured sufferer the prison of the
deserted friend; the of the neglected Savior
these are the scenes of woman's excellence; these
gre the theatres which her greatest triumphs have
been achieved Such is her destiny-to visit the
forsaken, amid the forgetfulness of myrads; to re-
member amid me excavations of multitudes, to bless;
when n0uarchs abandon, when brethren and disci-
pies fly. 30 remain mistaken and unchanged and to
exhbLn thls lower world type of that love, pure,
CONSTANT and ineffable--Which il another world,
taught TO believe, is the best reward Of virtue
It was saying of De Quincy the opium eater
Shat there not a book in existence written III
correct English, and he went far to doubt
if am entire page of good English had been
composed This was, undoubtedly going to great
length, although there probably less than ten
Euen new living who write the language perfectly.
But, II ID il so rarely well written, what shall we
say of speaking? Shall we confess that we have
never heard pure English spoken? Shall we express
orr duubJ as to whether that invaluable old gentle
man. Mr. Noah Webster did not make slip once in
d while? We almost fear 50, yet, if our readers will
take the pains analyze the pronunciation and the
grammar Of the next three sentences they hear spo
Zen by any body, they will discover what we mean.
Some Of those wise men, the editors, have started
story that Lola Montez did write those sparkling
awrf3 w sba ali in
cities with such brilliant success. Lola Montez is
thoroughly cultivated and remarkably gifted wo-.
man. whatever her private faults may be- and to say
that she is incapable of writing the lectures she de-
lyerst IL alike absurd and mean. Give the proof.
The writer Of this paragraph will make oath that
once upon time he saw the dashing countess take
composing stick, go to the case and with no copy
before her, set up sharp and racy communication,
in which certain editor very handsomely used
up. The only instruction she had was emPtying
the sticks. The incident happened in Cincinnati.
Lola Montez not wrtel Tell that to the marines
She can set type, too. Cleveland Plandeaer.
A young minister, in highly elaborated sermon,
which he preached while supplying absent mln-
listers pulpit, said several times, when giving
new exposition passage.-.tThe commentators
do not agree with me here" Next morning, he
running with his performances, poor woman
to see him, with something in her apron. She
said her husband heard his sermon and thought it
was very good one; and as he said "the common
,ators did agree with him here he had sent
of the very best Jersey blues.
Thirteen objections were given by young
lady for declining match: twelve of them being the
sutors twelve children, and the thirteenth the sui
tor himself.
Something like the reason we once heard a young
buck givefor his failure to marry heiress. Three
members of the family said he stood fatally opposed
to the contamination Of my desires-an unfteling
uncle, designing male cousin, and-the fair one her
self.--Deemed good reasons
A friend tells us the following, which we consid-
4
day, an urchin in his dresscovered with mud.
His father, observing his dirty plight said to him.
William, my son, how came you to muddy your
dress sol'
Thesboy stopped a moment, then looking his faith
an the eye, very soberly asked:
Father, what am made OFF,
"Dust. The bible says, Dust thou art, and unto
dust shalt thou return"
well, father, il am dust how can help being
muddy when it rains me?"
William go down stairs and get some wood
Start quick.
"Jim did you ever double the cape of Good Hopper"
II expect have
"When sir?"
sLast night, when put my around the cape
that belongs to the dress Of young lady whom
have good hopes of making Mrs. Dusenbury.''
A shoemaker, who had rival in trade, directly
opposite, displayed oil card at his window, the
Latin motto, "mens conscia recti,' Ca mind consci
Of right,l when the other, not to be outdone
hibited another with mems and women's conscia
rect
There is perhaps set Of men that so resemble
the ape and monkey tribe as politicians. First in
their propensity for imitating-secondly, in the ne
.cessity Of having an organ toaccompany iheirtrcks
Yeu may talk of TIE horror of railroad and steam
boat explosions, but they all pale before that of
man blown up by his wife. In the former be may
escape uniniured-while in the latter railing, to
say the least, is inevitable.
II never shot bird in my life said some one to
his friend, who replied, i never shot any thing in
the shape Of bird, but squirrel, which ] killed
with Stone when it fell into the river and was al
most drowned.
A cute yankee in Kansas sells liquer in gun bar
rel instead of glass, that he may avoid the law,
and make il appear beyond dispute that he is selling
liquor by the barrel.
1sYou look said an freshman, to pale, haggard
smoker as if you had got out Of your grave light
your cigar, and could not readily find your way back
again"
An exchange speaks of chap with feet 50 large
that when it rains or when he wants to get IN the
shade, he lies down on his back and holds up one
foot It fully answers the purpose OF an umbrella.
Are young ladies lassies by reason OF their being
eweet. or because it was on their account that the
word alasi was introducedinto our languagel
The most inveterate and intolerable grumblers IN
49, ,,,,,a ". Foy,,i!v rlrc fpef1f