Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1858-07-30
ON A DELICATE SUBJECT.

amusing too, are some Of the minor details
which take place among semi-civilzed people
upon the important occasion of the sOlemiza-
tiOn Of the bond OF union between the sexes
which lays the foundation Of a new household
But We are not aware that any very practical,
and therefore reliable writer has ever favored
the world with the means of arriving nj dis
tinct idea of the process by winch that perfect
agreement Is established between the parties
most interested, which, in a country like our
own, At least, must be established by some
means or other before the marriage takes place
We never hear the banns put up," as it is
called, In the parish church, or listen to the
merry peal OF the marriage morning BELLS
without wondering, in our secret heart, how
the delicate but tremendously decisive contract
between bachelor and spinster were defnitively
settled before such demonstrations were thought
of We know, of course, that the writer's Of
romsnces and love stories of all descriptions
settle the business easily enough; but theirs is
nothing better than a sort Of guess-work, when
u Is not something wOrse-a mere stereotyped
formula established for the general conv enience
Cf scribblers.
Everybody knows how Coleridges minstrel
won his Genevieve, and how Longfellow's hero
in Hyperion endeavored to achieve similar sue
cess by similar means, and yet made a alament-
able failure of 1t. But the world is not peo-
pied exclusively by poets and pOetesses; and
therefore the method of popping the ques-
nOn, cOveItly recommended by the authors
above named, however excellent in iR proper
place, can have accomplished but little towards
hlling the parish register. Honest John Dum-
pie and Polly GuObs, who signed the coDjugal
record with his and ber " we may be sure
did not go such a roundabout way in order to
bring the affair TO a crisis and we question
whether, among what are called the respecta-
bic classes, that species of poetical circumlocu-
tiOn IL much more in vogue. ,--.-
The whole business, however, lies involved
IN mystery, which We, being only bachelor
and that neither of arts nor of hearts-nust
confess our inability to fathom still, we can
do something towards the general enlighten-
ment by the report of one or two individual
cases not to be found in the books but which
have come within our knowledge and which
may serve to show how the affair is really
managed among certain plain folks, with plain
understandings, who, having difficulty to sur
mount, bring to the task such courage as they
may chance to possess
Gideon Robin was a farm laborer in a west
country town of small nOte where the labors
Of the inhabitants were divided between the
cultivation OF the land and the weaving of
particular kind of cloth for the London mar
ket. Gideon could either plough a field, reap
crop OF corn, shear a sheep, or weave cloth at
the loom, and besides all this bore an excellent
character for industry and sObriety. He was
a man OF fewest words in the whole parish
and indeed opened his mouth seldom, that
had aN his utterances been reported reT6atim
by penny-a liner, and paid for at the estab-
hShed rate, II Is very certain they would not
have provided that worthy with shoe-leather.
The man was not merely modest bat bashful
beyond all recorded precedent-shrinking from
the sound of his own voice as though it were
something Oppressively terrible.
Dumb Gideon, however, as he was called,
was not proof against the shafts of Cupid. and
as fate would have il, fell in love with the only
IS c..
plump, well-favOred lass, who wrought in her
fathers fields and dairy by day, and wove at
the loom In the evenings, and, like Gideon
himself, had talent. though by no means SO
striking one, for taciturnity. Gideon be-
trayed his first rising regard for the damsel by
silently hut suddenly seizing her pail Of milk
as IL stood frothing with Brindle's creamy
treasure, and Juggling it off together with the
milking-stooi to her fathers cottage. As this
freedom was not resented, he redoubIed his at
tentiOns, and was ever ut hand when his strong
arm could be of service to the maiden
Dame Spinner having respect for the young
man = character. invited him on one occasion
into the house, and from that time forth Gideon
spent his evenings in the cottage and took his
seat In the ingle-nOok, where he remained for
hours, as dumb and almost as motionless as the
ditch OF bacon that danged above his head
rarely finding courage to speak ten words and
sometimes not speaking at all during the whole
evening. He sat feasung his eyes upon Polly
as she piled the shuttle, and his part was 10 at
tend to the wants of the fire as 1T cracked Oh
the hearth in front Of him. On SUNDAYS and
holidays he Was seen at rhe side Of his beloved
exhibiting at all times evidence Of the truest
devotion Still, he never spoke a word. either
to her or her parents. on the subject nearest his
heart. This silent homage went on for two
years. In the estimation Of all the neighbor-
hood, the pair were booked for man and wife /:
and as there was no impedIment TO their union,
people wondered why IL had not come off long
ago.
Whether any kind and considerate soul gave
dldeon hint TO take courage and speak up,
We cannot pretend to say, but it is certain that
n length he found resolution to pop the aues-
ton. The grand event took place in the fol
lowing way, and we were indebted for the
account OF ii from the mother of the bride we
cannot be mistaken on the subject Gideon
came into the cottage on Christmas eve. q little
tustered, from his masters house, by a merry
Christmas from the whole family. Dame Spin
ner saw an unusually manfuI expression on his
cO1ntenanee. and half expected what was going
To happen. Father, mOtFer and daughter were
assembled around the fire, having laid aside
their work TO enjoy few hours holiday over a
emp of eider-wine. Gideon took his seat in the
chimney corner, and sat quietly for a few min
utes wiIh-a significant smile upon his counte-
nance; then he rose suddenly TO his full height.
and with his head half way up the chimney,
htte more than his corduroy eontinu atoms
bling visible to the company, delivered himself
deliberately Of the following mysterious declar-
alton
q If somebody loved somebody as we'll as
somebody loves somebody, somebody would
have somebody. 1t is most probable t.at 4
declaration OF love was never made in such n
form before. GideOn remained as mute as a
statue, his head concealed in the chimney. for
some minutes after the prOdigiOus effort he had
made. When, at length, in compliance with
the request of the damsel's mother, he brought
his broad face into the light, il was the color OF
a live coal, aud was turned in any direction but
towards her who was the cause of his confusion
But the Ice was broken; the necessary preIiu-
lnarIes were soon after settled; and on the en-
suing Easter Sunday the marriage knot was
tied which made Gideon Robin and PoIIy Spir
ner one flesh. Neither Of them, as far as We
have heard, ever regretted the step; and il is
cur firm conviction that if Gideon could bs pre-
vailed upon 10 utter so many words, which is
not likely, he would declare it was the best lob
he ever did in his life.