Holmes County Republican. [volume] (Millersburg, Holmes County, Ohio) 1856-1865, 1858-06-17
A HWictOm,, to TfyannicaI
Laws.

/ Ad htSs
Mr.. ROBBERS Russell, who formerly lived
in Schoharie county, N. Y, now resides in
the City of Albany. Russell has an un-
happy faculty of doing business contrary to
law. On Tuesday last Mr.. Russell was ar
rested for the eleventh time since spring set
in. We give his examination:
swell, RUSSELL said the magistrate,
"you are here again, l perceive
"Yes, sir. The fact is, Squire, I'm vic
tim. Blow me if l care what Bob Russell
does, he is sure to violate some law or
other. When I came to Albany, 1 says
10 myself Russell, my boy, we will take a
hunt to morrow and try them fox hounds.
Well, sir, out goes, and what do you
think! Before got to the next corner,
Barney Whale tapped me on the shoul-
der, and says, That's against the law !"-
"What's agin the law?" 1 replies, and he
says, shaving dogs in the street without
muzzles." He accordingly arrested me,
and brought me 20 the Police Court The
result of that piece of fun was fine of five
dollars. Well, what do 1 do then!"
"Well, listen, and I'll tell you. 1 sold
the fox hounds to one of "Auht Puts
friends for twenty dollars. With the pro-
ceeds bought the SOW and five pigs. 1
took them home, built pen in the back
yard, and thought my troubles were at an
end, but was mistaken. Officer Bard
we'll called upon me the very next morn
ing and says, "Russell, keeping hogs in
the yard is agin the law" 1 doubted it.
This riled officer Bradwell, who had me ar
rested agin. This time was fined five
dollars"
"Well, what did you do thenl'
"I sold my sow and pigs, and bought a
horse and cart, and undertook to draw
wood. The very first load put on drew
the attention of policeman Sickles, who
said that driving cart without license was
"agln the law" was arrested for that Of
fense, which caused me another fine of five
dollars"
"Well what did you do next!"
81 sold the horse and cart, and bought
the half of a charcoal wagon"
"Well, what success did you meet with
after that?'
"The same old luck, sir, The first day 1
commenced pedling, policeman Shocks
took me by the collar and says, Russell,
that's agin the law, old fellow. What's
agin the law, 1 said. He replied, selling
charcoal in a wooden measure. That cost
me fine of three dollars"
"Did that drive you out of the charcoal
business 2"
ayes, sir. 1 sold out and thought l
would try my fortune in carrying baggage
between the steamboats, and railroads.
What's the use? l only commenced work
to-day, and here am agin.''
"What for, now?"
"For soliciting baggage without a per-
nit from the Mayor. As said before,
I'm victim. If l should save man
from drowning by jumping into the whirl-
pool, dash my Wig if l don't believe the
first policeman l met on coming ashore
would up and say: 1t is agin the law Rus
sell, to 90 overheard without license"
The Justice, having heard Mr.. Russell
to the end, admitted that he was "wic-
tirn," and let him off without paying the
fine. Russell left the office, saying "that
he would 60 and kill himself if it were not
for one thing" On being asked what that
was he replied, "that some policeman would
discover it was agin the law to commit sui
eide, and undertake to collect the fine from
his unfortunate children"
Russelrs case calls for sympathy. !