Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1858-06-19
Keeping School in Illinois.

A friend of mine Has recently given me
an account OF his experience in school
keeping at the west, says j. Woodruff
Lewis in the New York Mercury.
twas an unusual occupation; but, find-
inc himself in Illinois, without employ
men,, some years ago,with an opening as
schoo. teacher, he "pitched in and at
once mounted all those professional airs
usually assumed by the knights Of the fe-
rule, and peripsle,ic pedants Of the birch.
MANY were the colloquies preliminary to
the first day Of opening, until, at length,
nv friend sa, behind a rough desk, in a
primitive cabin, built oi logs.
The first scholars were announced by
rap, rap at the door; not tlmidiy and
gully, but with vigor-evidently mas
.culine feminine. But let me use Propel-
ler's own words:
.Cubidr And three buxom, rosy-lip-
ped damsels entered, with a nonchaiance
that, from my inherent bashfulness. caus-
ed me 10 blush up 10 the eyes. They
walked up TO the desk with an air which
said plainly that they were ready for any
thing-from making love and mischief 10
jumping fve-barred fences and riding
horses men.iashion.
Are you the scaooImssierF
Il expect TO be, may i, please you, la
dies. Take seats =
What can you teach 7
'Oh. almost anything. Phrenoiogy'
psychology, philology. martyrology'oirch
bieroglyphcs, and all other oos'ruso
branches OF knowledge
I'VE will attend, sir, with view OF
finishing our education this winter, IN inc
authorization OF becoming teachers our
selves. You seem TO know more than
any teacher we ever heard oil. Can'
you visit us Z
Most happy to do so. Next Sunday
night at your service, ladies. Your ap-
precialive faculties elicit my profound ad-
miralion. As my friend, Hamlet, of Dem
mark, has said There are more ihings
in heaven and earth than are dreamed oi
in your philosophy. Excuse cordlali'y.
and consider me not only teacher, oui
your admiring friend
Yes, sir, said the Oldest
Yes, SIR, spoke the second.
Yes, Sir.EE, exclaimed the youngeh
and best-looking of The trio. eliciiing dis
dainful gances from the other two.
From that day forward said Propel..
Ter, Il was The monitor, oracle, and grand
lama Of the district. To be sure, my
method of teaching was rather ou' oil the
usual course. chaiied with The g'fls'
frowned upon the boys, always contrast
ing our national characterislics win ths
Mormons and the Turks, and consuming
The time with a variety OF entertainments.
The scholars were the most promiscu'
Gus collection that you ever saw. One
was an o,d coon killer OF 4S years who
came as he said, 10 lan 10 keep counts.
had one pupil who determined 10 study
Greek and Hebrew, preparatory I" col
leqiale course. Ii was rich 10 hear him
recIle, and my lectures on The beauties OF
the Hebrew, especially. Many lime
my sides ached with suppressed laughter.
I advised him 10 speak at the top OF his
voice, which he did, 10 way that made
the crows anxious.
NV discipline. though, certainly NOT
the most systematic IN the world. ] hsd
thought admirably adapted io3 making all
res pee, and love me--lhe glTls especISlIy'
Mistaken mortal Every son and dsugh-
ter of Them, ungrsteiul as death, begsn 10
disregard and mock my wishes.
"a change came DER the spirit Of the dream
.One day, as was walking 10 and no.
in a mediianye mood, a delicate young IA
dy. Of not less than one hundred snd ses.
enty pounds. avoidupois. secretly clipped
nv suspenders With ter scisstr.. InfO
media,ely took the occasion TO msbe.a
pitby speech, ard, a, its conclusion, my
Hebrew pupil threw dictionary at NY
head. My method OF instruction WAS M
stsndy changed Like 'he shock oi two
opposing squsdrons Of chareing cavalry,
on feIdol battle, or The lash of sprges
on an lron.tound shore, was the meeting
of Saxon and Hebrew. But wssa per-
feet Hercules, when aroused, and my
spring was like that Of AZ enrsged tiger
from his longe The combat was bref,
and exterminated hin forever IRON Tho
house Of knowIe1ge.
.Afer that, lrusied TO birch more than
to u words. and got along better.
Il, is, think, a well-siiesied fact, that :
the larger the girls are, the more they
need whipping. Angels in childhood.
they grow uglier than Jezebel when they
get past twelve.
Ifevsr try schooIkeeping. In fuiure'
The most rigorous seventy shall DC mani
Tested in the discipline of all brigbteyed'
rosy-fsced. grown.up gHI'. My wisdom
-, a., from, sad and try iBQ expe.