Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1853-1862, 1858-05-30
THrNGs WISE am 0THERWIsE.

NJ " Grandma, I hope you will die first" "Why
so, my chiId?" "'Cause l can stand trouble better
than you can"
BSy@ A young in New York advertised for a
wife. In less than two hours, are told, eighteen
married men sent in word that he might have theirs
re- Colonel Benton, in speaking of Congress
| sional matters, says he never "paired of y but
once in his life. and that was with young woman,
the night he got married.
BS= lawyer and doctor we're discussing the
| antiquity of their respective professions and each
cited authority to prove his the most ancient.
'NIine, " said the disciple of Lycurgus, COM
| menced almost with the worlds era Cain slew his
brother Abel and that was criminal case in law. /"
''True," rejoined Esculapius but my profession
| is coeval with the creation itself Old Mother Eve
was mape out of rib taken from Adams body, and
that was a surgical operation"
The lawyer dropped his green bag.
! nSF A gentleman conversiug with lady friend
short time since, claimed that he could parodize
the hoop-question any verse she might choose TO
| repeat She, accordingly, rehearsed the following
verse from The Old Sexton"
Nigh TO grave that was newly made
Leaned a sexton old on his earth worn spade;
His work was done, aud be paused to wait
The funeral train through the open gate;
A reliet of by gone days was he,
And his locks we're as white as the foamy sea;
And these words came from his lips so thin:
i gather them in gather them in ="
Whereupon, the graoeess fellow took his pencil
and thus wrote scrap Of newspaper lying by {:
"Nigh to a church that was newly made
Sto I'd a lady fair and thus she said:
TOO bad, too bad here must wait
While they measure the breadth of this open gate;
All, it's only nine by siL, l see
Too narrow, too narrow, alas! for me;
And she gned from her quivering lips so thin
L can't get in-I can't get in ."
pEa- A fellow out West gets off The following de-
fiuarion of widow Gone who knows what's what,
and is DESTROYS of further information the same
| subject"
QUIET PLACE.-A few days ago gentleman in
conversation with some friends was praising Wood
WILLIE Miss, to the SKIES and remarked among other
things that it was the most quiet and peapeable
place he ever was-there no quarreling nor
rowdyism nor fighting about the streets, if a gen.
tlemau insuled another, he was quietly shot down
and there was the last of it?
nrg. The GAINESVILLE Chronicle says: Whilst
Ben Davidson, with his Lilliputian mule team, was
psrmeating the streets the other day, engaged in
the very useful and audable occupation of watering
the streets, he was accOsted by bog-trOttsr from
" Erin 60 brah, with the perspration OOzing outat
every pore, in full chase after his wagon on this
wise - say, Misther, you're spillin' all yer
Wather.'"
DOUGLAS JERRoLD's WRIT is nearly g year
since Douglas Jerrold died. and the famous authors
Of England walked to his grave on soft sunny
afternoon. They buried in 1t all bitterness and
difference, and acknowledged that they had lost one
OF their best comrades His son Blanchard Jer-
rold has collected into volume Of his fathers
witty, pathetic, and poetic sayings and writings
and It is to be republIshed in Boston. II will be
good summer book, and we are quite sure many
reader, as he lounges upon shady bank OF shore,
will ponder over his quaint thoughts and quiet HUI
mors. He wrote the Caudls Lectures, and here is his
theory
Every woman no matter how divinely composed,
has in her iehOr-fowing veins drop, mo bigger
than Wren's eye OF Cdudle. Eve herself may
now and then have been guilty of lecture, muir
muriug it balmily among the ro"e-leaves"
Some peoPle were talking with JerrOld about
gentleman as Elaborated for the intensity for the
shortuess Of his friendships.
g. Yes said JerrOld, his friendships are so
warm that he no sooner takes them up than he puts
them down again.
.'Jerrold said to very thin man, Sir you are,
like pin, but without the head or the point. ,"
Some friends we're talking with Jerrold about
an eminent lterateur, who was q devoted admirer,
and constant companion, Of Charles Dickens
In fact said one of the friends, he isto Dickens
what Boswell was to Johnson
"'Wi,h this difference Jerrold replied, that
--doesn.t DO the DOE Wen
can eccentric party, Of which Jerrold was one,
agreed to have a supper of sleeps heads. One geR
teman present was particularly enthusiastic on
the excellence of the dish; and, as he threw down
his knife and fork exclaimed, well Sleeps heads
forever, say p"
''JERROLD There's egotismr"
''Well Talfourd, said JerrOld, on meeting the
late eminent judge and author one day near Temple
Bar, have you any more irons in the hre!'"
ssTbere is no 'NhettO the appetite like early dew
nothDg for the stomach like grass and wild flowers
taken with fasting eye 81 fye in the morning. L