The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1858-05-06
UNCLE JOE IN COURT.
BY COLONEL WALTER D. DUNLAP.

Joe Bassett was queer genius no.e joe
everybody called him-and, though possessing but
very few Of the goods OF this world yet he was one
of the most useful men IN the town # any ore
wanted an odd job done he was the man 10 do IT,
In short he was Q sort of universal Man Friday"
and for consideration he would perform any work
which might be called for. He was happy ord fei-
low; full of fun egg is full Of meat and ne
could crack some very hard jokes without hurting
anybody. He owned . little hut over back Of the
village, TO which was attached few acres Of good
land; and beside this he had COW, and some other
items of stock. He lived quite comfortably and the
impression had gone abroad that he had managed 10
lay up some money.
Captain Daniel Lober, who had recently settled
in the town. owned fine piece of land adjoining
Uncle Joe's lot, and he was not long in making him,
was proud selfish person, and little mean withal
Uncle Joe had some geese and they ran upon Lober's
land; upon which the Indignant captain threatened
70 shoot them if he caught them there again.
"T ye'd make yer fence tighter my geese would
mt get through meekly suggested poor Joe.
MY fence ID a. tight Is the law requires, an.
swered the doughty captain; and with this be walked
SO Uncle Joe had 20 60 at work and tighten the
fence, and put larger yokes upon his geese.
Lober'e next move was against Joe's hens. he
swore that he would shoot them If they were not
kept out of his LOT. Joe built henhouse and placed
his feathered bipeds theren but 10 was sore trial
70 him, and people sympathized with him, though
they conld not help him.
some ten acres Of it-and sowed it with wheat The
gran came on finely and the owner used TO take
men out there TO show them his field. II was &C
knowedged 10 be the best piece Of wheat IN town.
which he bad no. thought of. This land was at some
distance from his dwelling, and when busy
IT other points week or two might pass with
out his visiting il. One afternoon he came 20 see
his wheat, and when he reached the edge of
the field he stood ashast a. the sight which met
his gaze. The tall, stout grain was trodden and
tramplCd down owe. half OF the lot, presenting q
ecene of havoc and destruction truly horrible TO be
Hold And the astoun3 ed owner was a. no loss TO &C
coun. for the desoaton for near the centre Of the
lot he saw horse. II iaunt, heavily built AMI
well stricken with years yet he capered and frsked
about with marvellous spirit--now cropping a few
of the well filled wheat heads, and anon traTplng
away upon the devoted grain, a. though be were
should moi dare 70 tell al he oaths which Capt.
Lober then and there poured forth; but hey were
terrible ones and the white foam stood upon his lips
"a he rayed Az he could collect his thoughts,
he started for Uncle Joe's. He knew that Joe mus.
have seen the horse in therefor the animal could
nc. have been less than three or four days q. the
work-and perhaps the depredator might belong 10
Joe. Just a. the captain reached the road, he met
Sam Warner. Sam was not temperance man, nor
Gid be belong 10 the church, bat ne vas particular
friend TO Uncle Joe, and didn't think much Of Daniel
Dober
HMr. Warner" cried The captain, trembling al
over with rage, does Joe Basset own a horse.'
"Yaas. BIT eve he does, Squire, returned Sam.
lis IL white one!'
Kind o whitisn."
How cid is IT.
"wal-taip't very oli nor very young Bet It's
kind o. sAaky raound the knees
Captain Looer posted of 20 Unck Joes cot and
found the old fellow ~ work about The premises
Mr. Basset, he said, with awful meaning, 10
you own . borsef"
wal rayther calkih.e az haowt dew,
Squire" answered the old fellow.
al A-I kurvu that how had H1f nal
more than hall OF my wheat
"JetsvsaIeml Yeou doan; nay 70, squire," ex-
claimed Joe, in terror.
1T i fact, cir; ana nov you may settle It, or
suffer the consequences"
But, squire. rally can't believe Il. Ny boss
II SIGH quiet critter.h
"Are you willing 70 settle ~" cred ;he captain,
But s9uire-rallly- couldn't pay ye notbn--
sartin couldn't"
Then you'll pay somebody else. Yoa know TIA.
your horse mas been In my 6eldi'
u couldn't swar at be hadn't, that's . fact
"Thst's enough And ~ith this the captain wen.
OF. He went N one Of the assessors, from whom
he learned that Joe owned come two or three huu-
TO lawyers, and had Joe Bssset sued, setting the
damages Of one hundred dollars. The lawyer
sent Joe otter but The old fell)w refused 20 takc
any notice Of and the Ease was carried into court
Captain Lober having sworn that be would push
Uncle Joe IN the lar extremity.
The court Wa IN session and the day for The trial
arrived. The rom was crow ded, for 9 whisper had
gone abroad that Uncle Joe would &C the best Of t.
Finally the case was called on, and Jobers counsel
made statement OF the cause which had led TO the
suit, enlarging upon the damage which had been
done TO his clients properly. and explaining bow
little the transFsssor had seemed 70 care for H.
What IN the defencei"
Nobody seemed 70 know.
els the defendant In COURT
ALI eyes were turned upon Uncle Joe, AND 10
arose.
Are you the defendant in this casel" assed The
court.
"Msl' returned Joe, with vacant stare.
yes you
"He il, your honor" said Iobers lawyer.
Have you got counsel sr1i the Judge resumed
ish. half wicked look
"You are probably aware Of the reason why you
have been called here, pursued the court seemlng.o
pity the mans ROBUSTNESS
Il spOse tie for some kind o complaint Captn
Dobefs been maxim"
Exactly" sad Lobers counsel. "Yocr horse
has destroyed much property belonging to my
CLIENT
"Cuefs not, Squire" returned Joe. 'caose hats
impossible. Ny bose conldnt do no SIGH thing"
what DO you mean by tna.r
why haint got no boss is capable Of dom 20
moth mischief"
Wen leave tina. for Others 20 decide " said The
counsel, with a very significant nod Of the head.
lyon own horsey'
Why"
We want none q Jour uhysl You own
horse ?"
" But want b xplain. Capt'n Dober, ne come
10 nae, biln over with wrath and axed me did
own hose, and told him yea. Then he Dled over
more made lots o. u eats and went of in heap
O. passion atore could 'xplain.'
Bni do you deny tina: your horse was IN my
clients field ~
IL couldn't q been thar unless somebody put D
thar
That's no. the thing. Do yOD deny that your
horse did this damage ~
Satin do
Ia al ~