Monmouth weekly herald. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1854-1860, 1858-05-06
Our Scrip 8ook
Disadvantages of Ignorance.
W 10 IS yOur committee, SIT!
Captain Bill Bunkers."

Captain Bill Bunkers."
is he a man capable of ascertaining
for himself the qualification Of q teacher?'
"Oh, yesl at least I had as lief have
Bill Bunker's judgement Of a man who
applied for the school,, as any other in the
district; and yet he is the only man in
the whole district, | believe. but what can
read and write"
Your school committee not able to
read and writer
Not a word, and still he does more
business than any man in this neighbor
hood. Why, you see he keeps a sort of
store, sells to A. B. and O., and charges
in a book after a fashion of his own; and
| would as soon trust his book keeping as
anybody's; though. to be sure, he has got
into a tumble, | hear, about some charges
to a neighbour at the other end Of the
town, and they are having a court about
it to-day, at Bnnker's store ] understand
Reader, allow me to USHER you at once
into Captain Bill Bunker's store. The
only chair and tablet the room were oc-
cupied by the justice; the rest of the COM
pany sat round on what they could find.
On the left ofthD aice sat 4he defend
ant, whose. composed looks and OCCASION
al knowing smile seemed to indicate n
idencc In the strength Of bis defence, and
the possession Of some secret advantage.
On the other hand sat Bunker the plain
til. lie was a remarkably stout hardy
looking man, and although his features
were extremely rough and swarthy, yet
ne had an open heResr and very %intelli
gent face The parties we're now called
and sworn, when Bunker, unlike a lawyer
proceeded at once to the merits of the
case. He produced and spread open his
account book, and then went on to show
his manner IF eharging, which was Who'll
ly by pictures, drawing bis debtor to the
top OF the page with some particulars Of
his person ori~cAlling. In the present
case, the debtor who was a cooper, was
designated by the rude picture of a man
in the act of hopping a barrel, and the ar
ticle charged, there being but one item,
was represented by a shaded circular fg-
ure, which the pfaEtfT said was intended
for the cheese thathad been SOLD to the
defendant some years before.
Now Mr.. Justice" said Bunker, now
the article here charged, the man had
| will and do swear to it; for here it is in
black and white. And | having deman-
ded my pay, and he having not only re-
fused it, but denied ever buying the arti-
Gle in question, | have brought this suit
to secure my just due. And now | wish
to see if he will get up here in court and
deny the charge under oath. If he will,
let him, but the Lord have mercy on his
soul!"
Well, sir" replied the defendant
promptly, Z" | here ander oath swear, that
| never bought or had a cheese Of you in
my life"
"Under the oath of God you declare it.
do your" sharply ssked Bunker.
do air, fiSinsF answered the other.
Well, well, | would not have believed
a man in all thsM~n would have dared
to do that"
Here the justice interfered, declaring
the plaintiffs account book entitled to
credit, unless the defendant could pro-
duce testimony.
Whereupon two Of the defendants
neighbors testified that he had not only
made a sufficient supply of cheese for his
family, but during the year of the alleged
purchase, actually sold a considerable
quantity of the article.
This evidence seemed to settle the qaes-
ton in the mind Of the justice, and he
now o 0 announced that he felt bound
to give judgement in favor of the defend.
ant for his costs.
Judged and sworn out of the whole
OF it, | am a ~sinnerl Yes, fairly sworn
out of it, and saddled with a bill Of costs
to pay! But | can pay it so reckon up
Mr.. Justice. and we will have it all square
on the spot. And on the whole, | am not
sure but a dell@wo is well spent in
finding out a fellow to be a scoundrel who
has been passing himself off to be an hon
est man.
NOW, Bill Bunker" said the defend
ant, you have flung out a good deal Of
stuff here, and | hava bore it without get.
ting riled a hair, but now it's all fixed
and settled, | am going to convince you
that | am going to convince you that |
am not quite the one as has sworn to per-
jury in this ere business"
Well, we will see" rejoined Bunker.
Eyes, we viii see" replied the defend
ant resolutely; +" we will see if we can't
make you eat your own words. But |
want first to tell you where you missed
it. When you danaed me, Bunker, for
the pay for a cheese, and I said | never
had one of you, YOU went off q little too
quick; you called me d liar without CIV
ing me a chance to say another word. l
then thought | would let you take your
own course till yoa took that name back.
If you had held ION a minute without
breaking out upon me so. | should have
told you all how ii was and you would
have got your payon the spot; but
"Payl" fercely interrupted Bunker;
= thengou admit you had the cheese do
your
"No, sir, l admit no such thing" quick
ly rejoined the former, : for | still say |
never had a cheese Of you in the world,
but | did have assmall grindstone of you
at the time and at just the price you have
charged for your supposed cheese, and
there is your money, sir. Now, Bunker,
what do you say TO that?'
!" Grindstone-cheese- grind
stone; | muht think this matter over
again. Grindstone -cheese-cheese--
grindstche. All | have it; but may God
forgive mo for what | have done. 1t was
q grindstoue, but | forgot to make a hole
in the middle for the crankl'
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