davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1858-04-28

WHAT CAprAIN JOB PREsr SAYS OF TIE
VEGETABLE KrNaDoM.-The term vegeta-
ble-sometimes pronounced vegetable
is prabably derived from the peculiar long
and pointed form Of the description of es-
%culents, hence originally called wedgeat-
blcs, then w~edgetables, and refined into the
present term.
Annual Towering plants resemble whales
as they come up to blow.
Flowers are very warlike in their dis
position, and ever armed with pistils.
They are migratory in their habits, for
wherever they may winter, they are sure
to leave in the spring, most of them very
polite and full Of boughs.
Like handles, the coating of many trees
is their most valuable portion. Cork trees
and boot trees, for instance.
Grain and seeds are not considered dam
gerous except when about to shoot.
Several trees, like watch-dogs, are val
ued mostly for their bark.
A little bark will make a rope, but it
takes a large pile of wood for a cord.
Though there are no vegetable beaux,
there are number Of spruce trees
1t is considered only right and proper
to ak trees before you fax them.
Fruit trees have military characteristics;
when young they are trained they have
many kernels, and their shoots are straight.
Grain must be treated like infants
when the head bends it must be Graded,
and thrashing r%esorted to to fit it for use
Tares are mostly found with smaller
grains, which require sowing.
Great indulgence in fruit is dangerous
and too free a use of melons produce Q
melanchollic effect.
Old maids are fond of pears but can
not endure any reference to dates.
Sailors are attached to bays, oystermer
to beeches, love.sick maidens to pine.
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1858-04-28

The man in a n%eighboring town who
left his wife to chop her wi wood, while
he went off concerning with two young
ladies', was a deal .gwicped' when he re-
turned home and found that about q dozen
young men from the village had been down
to his house and cut and split, ready for
the stove, a generous pile of wood. There
is one way he can come up with them for
this and if he should ask our advice, we
should tell him to provide for his family
in future in such a manner that there
would be no occasion for a repetition Of
such a thing Caledoaaan.
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1858-04-28
For the Register.
Spiritual Manifestation.

Mn. EDrroR-In spirit rappings we
think some deceive but when convinced,
we see and then believe. While we were
travelling in a neighboring town, and wea.
ry, sought an inn of small rcnown; it be-
ing dark and night-not very late, if
memory serves me right, bout half past
eight, we thought for information we
would inquire at the text house or sta
ton for our desire. We gave three gen.
tie raps upon the door; but for these mod
crate taps was asked for more. We gave
what was desired so he could hear it. He
then of us inquired, care you q spirit ?
I am a medium surely" he said with
pride; "and you a spirit, truly" he
loudly cried.
In thought we did demur, but words
did quell, for we did not prefer to break
the spell. "What does he think or s'pose,'
we asked ourself, " hat We came down,
or rose-or saint, or elf"
81. THAT I'm a medium, true and you a
spirit, 1 want three raps from you that
we can hear it." We feared we'd knocked
with raps, the door to splinter,-they
thought thunder claps had come in win
ter. 1t broke the magic spell. We
laughed to weeping-in Morpheus arms
we FILL and soon was sleeping within thu
inn we sought, where night was past
They were a lesson taught which long viii
last. Yours, &c. KIT KARL.
M~iddlebury, April 6, 1858.
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1858-04-28
Great Chance to make Money!
FARM AND BRICK YARD

NOR SALE OR TO RENT.-The subscriber
IL now offers 10 sell or rent the following de-
scribed permissible acres Of Land, six miles
north OF Milwaukee, (by Plank Road) on the
shore of Lake Michigan. About IA acres are un-
der cultivation, and the balance is heavy tim
bered land. On the premises is
AN EXTENSIVE BRICK-YARD,
with a fine vein OF moulding sand everything the
clay bed. Six HALLS Patent Brick Machines,
and all other tools and fixtures necessary to car
ry on an extensive brick making business. Also
A HOUSE WITH FURNITURE
sufficient for from thirty to forty men A Rail
road track from the Brick Yard TO the Lake,
where vessels can receive aud discharge freight.
The track is provided with two cars and fixtures.
The location is fine and healthful, and is prob.
ably The best point in the State Tor carrying on an
extensive b~rick-making business, as ii has all the
advantages OF the lake markets. The property
will be told on time If desired. A large portion
of the payments can be made in Brick delivered
at the yard. Or the Brick Yard and fixtures will
be rented, or leased on shares.
An excellent opportunity is here offered for All
energetic man wnh small means, who under
stands brick making, as the Yard is in order for
work. For further particulars address
DANIEL L.. WELLS,
4siew Portage City, Wis.
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1858-04-28
A n Important Era in the Healing Art.
Consumption, Bronchitis.

CATAERH, LARYNoIrIs, ASTHMA, AND D1sEAsrs
OF THE throat, Lungs AND HEART, CURED
WITHOUT PUTTING DRUGS INTO THE STOMACH,
BY lNHALINo COLD INDICATED VApoRs
DIR. ANDREW STONE, Physician TO the Troy
Lung Institute, inventor OF the celebrated Pull
mometer or Lung-rester, and Editor of the Enpa
Ids Oracle Is treating with astonishing success,
consumption, Asthma, bronchitis, Laryngius,
Chronic Catarrh, liberated Throat, and Alice
tions OF the Heart, with his new discovered sys-
tenn Of lnhaling cold Nedicated Vapors. It Is q
wonderful discovery, made upon tue scientific
principles; the vapors are SO composed as to dis
solve tu0erculLr matter IN TIE lungs, and cause
1t to be expectorated il traverses every air tube
and cell, and liberated cavern, causing them to
heal quieting the cough, ~subduing the night
sweats, the hectic fever, and tile chills.
Consumption and the various kindred diseases
OF the throat and lungs, that has bliehted ths
tairest prospects OF youth aud lie now annually
casting the sable pail over one hundred thousand
human beings in the Unired States, becomes az
durable in my hands, under my system of treat
ment as any otner diselses,-if adopted before the
vital stamina is TOO lar depressed. The advan
tage OF tn 8 treatment is such, that patients can
be treated at home that cannot find II convenient
to come to the institution, by writing a full histo-
ny Of the case, with all the symptoms, age and
sex. Packages of the vapor with an inhaler for
their use. for a three months course, is furnished
at $40 for one month SIS.
Spacious and well furnished rooms and board
is at all times furnished in the Institution, for
those coming from abroad for treatment
A WORD OF SOLEMN CONSCIENTIOUS ADVICE TO
THOSE WHO WILL REFLECT. -
1t Is q solemn truth that over 10o. 600 die In tie
uniteT States annually with Consumption, Mar
asmus, or Premature Decay! There cannot be
mn effect without its adequate cause. Thousands
of the young, of both sexes, go down to an early
grave from causes little suspected by parents or
guardian, 60
In view of the awful destruction of human life,
caused by sexual diseases, such as Spermatorr.
h9s, Seminal weakness, the vice of seIf-abuse
disease of the kidneys, Spinal Affection prsma.
ture nervous exhaustion or decay and the de-
ception p~ractioed upon the community by base
pretenders, the directors OF The Troy Lung Ipsti-
tute have instructed their attending physician to
give advice gratis to all persons thus afflicted,
who apply by letter with a description Of theE
condition, age, occupation, habits life, SC. AL
persons applicants can be eAectuaily treated at
home.
Just published, a treatise on the early DECAY of
the American Youth, Spermatvrrh9s, Seminal
weakness, the vice of self-abuse and other dissas
es of the sexual organs, which will be sent by
mali lin a sealed envelope tree Of charge on re-
ceipt of two postage stamps for postage
Addrass, post paid, DIR ANDREW STONE,
Physician to the LUNG Institute.
ICY. No. 90, Fifth St., Troy, N. Y.
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1858-04-28
THE SECRET INFIRMIrIEs
YOUTH AND MATU RlTY
Just Published, Gratis, the 2bh thousand.

Jusl Pubished, Gratis, Me 2bh IhoAsdnd.
A few words on the Rational Treatment, with
ont Medicine, OF Spermatorrhea or Local Weak
ness, Nocturnal Emissions, Genital and Nervous
Debility, Premature Decay OF the system, impo-
tepcv, and Impediments to Marriage generally by
b. DE LANEY, NJ. d.
The important fact that the many alarming
complaints, originating in the imprudenee and
solitude Of youth, may be easily removed WITH
OUT MEDICINE, is BY this small tract, clearly
Demonstrated; and the entirely new and highly
successful treatment, as adopted by the Author,
fyllv explained, by means Of which every one is
euabled to cure himself perfectly and at the least
possible cost, thereby avoiding all the advertised
no.trums Of the day.
Sent 10 any address, gratis and post free in a
sealed envelope, by RENTING two postage stamps
TO DIR. DE LANEY, II Lispenard Street, New
York. 4oilS
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1858-04-28
THE GREAT ~BEAUTIFYER
So long unsuccessfully sought,

It u ~ n IL n y
For it restores permanently gray hair to is
original color covers luxuriantly the baId head;
removes all dandruff, itching and all %scrofula,
scald head aud all eruptions; makes the hair
soft, healthy, and glossy and will preserve It TO
any lmmaginaole age; removes, as If by magic,
all blotches, &C., from the face, aud cures all
neuralgia and nervous head ache. See circular
and the following:
Dover, n. H., Feb. 2, 1857.
Prof. o.. j. Wood & Cc.-Gents Within a few
days we have received so many orders and calls
for Plof. o. J. Woods Hair Restorative, that to-
day We are compelled to send to Boston for a
quantity, 1.-THE six dozen you forwarded all being
solo, while we might order a quantit, from you.
Every bottle we have sold seems to have pro-
duced three or four new customeos. and the APP
probation and patronage it receives from the most
substantial aud worthy citizens Of our vicinity,
fully convince us that it is a mosl valuable pre-
PARTON. -..
Send us as soon as may be one gross of 81 size;
and one dozen 80 size and believe us yours very
respectfully, ~(Signed) DANIEL LATHRor& & Co.
Hickory Grove, ST. Charles Co. Mo. Nov. l9, 1865.
Prof q. J. Wood-Dear Sir: Some time last
summer we were induced to use some of your
Hair iestorative, and its effects were so wonder
full, We feel it our duty to you and the AFFLICTED,
to report it.
Our little sons head for some time had been
perfectly covered with sores, and some called II
scald head. The hair almost entirely came of
in consequence, when n friend, seeing his suffer-
ings, advised us to use your Restorative, we did
so with little hope OF success but, TO our sur
prise. and that of all our friends, a very lew ap-
plications renewed the disease entirely, and a
new and luxuriant crop Of hair soon started out,
and we can now say that our boy has as healthy
a scalp, and as luxuriant a crop Of hair as any
other child. Ne can, therefore, and de hereby
recommend your Restorative, as q perfect RENE
dy for all diseases of the scalp and hair.
We are, yours respectfully,
GEORGE w. HIGoISBorHAM,
SARAH A. HIooIsBoTHAM.
Gardiner, Me-, June 22, 1865.
Prof. o. j. Wood--Dem Sir ! have used two
bottles of Professor Woods Hair Restorative,
and can truly say it is the greatest discovery OF
the age Tor restoring and changing the hair. Be-
fore using II l was a man Of seventy. My hair
has now attained its original color. You can rec
ommend 1t to the world without the leust fear,as
my case was one OF the worst kind.
80 ' Yours respectfully.
Oh. WOOD K co, Proprietors, 3l2 Broad
way, N. y, Gin the great n. 4. Wire Railing Es
tablishment) and 144 Market street, 81. Louis
Mo. Sold by oil whoiesa,e 1 ruggists ". p,
RUSSELL, agent for Middlebury. So-42ism
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1858-04-28

Z A New ExEeEsIs--A rather illiterate
clergyman was preaching in a parish, the
head deacon OF which rejoiced in the name
of Varnum. After the conclusion OF his
ssrsom he read a notice that a meeting
would BIO held the next Friday evening,
ID. W at 7 o'clock, In explanation of
the eabalistic initials he said MY breth-
rem, you will see that the meeting is to be
held D. ", which l presume means at
Decon Varnum's."
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1858-04-28
FARM FOR SALE.

THE subscriber offers for sale, the farm, known
US q PHELPS FAEM, lying half a mile south
Of this village, on the Creek. This farm contains
about one hundred acres,-for;y scres Of interval,
the whole is valuable for grain or grass Good
barns, sheds and yards, well supplied with water,
On these premises Is a valuable muck pit. For
terms, enquire Of hAsvEr fhrchAHD'
Niddle6ury, March 7th, lebs.
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1858-04-28

MARRIAGE" says Sidney Smith, ere.
sembles a pair of shears-so joined that
they cannot be separated, often moving in
opposite directions, yet always Furnishing
any one who comes between them"
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1858-04-28
LOTTERIES.

The well-known Maryland Consolidated Lotter
les, of which X. FRANCE & Co, are the mapagers
are chartered by the state OF Maryland, and a
commissioner elected by the people, VINO Is sworn
to superintend and certify hat everything con.
nected with them is done In II strictly honorable
manner, and that the interests Of parties who re.
side at Il distance are as well protected as ifthey
themselves were present at the drawing. Anoth.
er fact which the managers call attention to, is,
that all persons have a legal right TO send orders
fer tickets to Maryland, as lotteries are legal zcd
by special law in that state. A lottery is drawn
every day of the month. limo particular class is
mar ed, orders are filed in the first drawingt to taxi
place after the communication comes to hand.
The prices Of tickets vary from 81 to $40. 10
tickets are, however, sent unless the money for the
same is received with the order. The drawings
are upon The principle of one number on each tick.
ct (after the Havana PLAN, and Ternary combina-
ton. Prizes vary in amount from $40 to SiOO, 900.
Ali orders for tickets or packages will receive
prompt attention, and the drawing mailed to ali
purchasers Immediately after it is over.
Address I. II. HUBBARD & CO.,
No. 80 Fayette ST., or Box No. 40,
Baltimore, Maryland.
W-The Drawn Numbers Of the Maryland Lot
teries are published by the State Commissioners
the following Papers, viz ; Sun, Clipper, Patriot
American, Argus, of Baltimore also, the Nation
al lntelligencer, and Union, of Washington, D.. c
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1858-04-28

A VERDIoT.-The following verdic was
given and written by the foreman of a
coroner's jury at: ave are Of a Pin.
ion hat the Decest met with her deth
from Violant Infrmatim in the Arm, pro-
Quest from Unoan Cauz."
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1858-04-28


lnfertilc ones-their DEVIATION and remoyal-ner-
vous debility, its canses and cule, by q process
at once 80 simple, safe and e%flectual, that failure
is impossible-rules for daily manag9ment-an
essay on SpermatorrhRa, with practical observa-
tions on a safer and more successful mode Of
treattnent-precautionary hints on the evil re-
su IS from empirical practice to which is added
commentaries on the diseases of temales-from
infancy to old age-each case beautifully illus
trated by beautiful plates. 1t points out the rem
edies for those self afflicted miseries and disap-
pc nted hopes 50 unfortunately prevalent in the
young. II is a truthful a wiser to the married
and those contemplating marriage. Its perusal
is particularly to p rsons entertain
irg secret donbts of their physical condition, and
who are conscious OF havin ghazarded the health,
the happiness and privileges to which every hu-
man being is entitled.
Price 25 cents per-copy. or five copies for 81,
mailed free of postage to any part OF the United
States, by addressing DR.. LACROIX, (post paid
Albany, n. T., enclosing 20 cents in money or
U. 5. postage stamps.
N. B. Those who prefer may consult DR.: La
CRoIx, upon any Of the diseases upon which his
book treats, either personally oAby mail. His
medicii es often cure in the short Space of six
days, and completely and entirely eradicate all
traces of thssa disorders which copayia and cu-
bebs have so long been thought an a%ntidote, to
the ruin Of the health OF The patient. His French
Secret Is the great continental remedy for that
class Of disorders which, unfortunately, physi-
clans treat with mercury, 10 the irretrieva6le de-
s~truction oil the patients constitution, ana whlch
all the Sarsaparilla in the world cannot cure.
DR.. LACRoIX's medicines are Tree from all
mineral pJisons, and put up in a neat and COM
pact form, which can be sent by express or mails,
and may be taken in public or private houses, or
while travelling, without exposure to the most in
innate friend or roommate, or hindrance from
business or study, and no important change In
the diet is necessary. Medicines sent to any part
of the Union, according to directions, safely
packed, and carefully secured from all observa-
tion.
A liberal discount made to book dealers, cam
vassers and ~peddlers, who purchase the book ut
wholesale. Office 81 Maiden Lane, near Broadway,
47;ly Albany, n. y.
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1858-04-28

The following a%trocity was committed
by an old bachelor in Wisconsin, who is
an editor /: Why is a bridegroom more
expensive than the bride? Because the
bride is always given away, while the
bridegroom is usually sold!
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1858-04-28
AMERICAN d. FOREIGN ATENT'S
r. H. EDDY, SOLICITOR OF PATENTS,

(Laie Agent Of u s. Patent Office, Washington
unaer the act Of le37.)
70 STATE-ST., opposite kilby st. BOSTON.
A FTER an extensive practice of upwards of
"A twenty years, continues to secure Patents in
lne United States also in Great Britain, France,
aud otner foreign countries. Caveats, Speciica-
lions, Assignments, and all. Papers or Drawings
for Pateuts executed on liberal terms, and with
despatch. Researches made into American or
Foreign WORKS; TO determine the validity or utili
ty of Patents or lnventions,-and legal or other
advice rendered III all matters touching the same.
Copies of the claims Of any Patent furnished by
remittihg One Dollar. Assignments recorded at
Washington.
This Agency is not only the largest in New
England, but through itinventors have advantages
for securing patents, or ascertaining the patenta-
bility OF inventlons, unsurpassed by, if not i'm
measuIaDly superior to, any which can be offered
them isewnere. The testimonials below given
prove that none Is MORE SUCCESSFUL ATTHE
PATENT OFFICE than the subscriber and us
SUCCESS Is THE BEST PROOF OF ADVAN
TAGES n ABILITY he would add that he
has abundant reason to believe, and can prove,
that no other office ofthe kind are the charges for
professional services 50 moderate. The immense
practice Of the subscriber during twenty years
past, has enabled him to accumulate a vast coli
lection OF specihcations and official decisions
relative to parents. These, besides his extensive
library OF legal and mechanical works. and full
accounts OF patents granted in the United States
and Europe, render him able, beyond question, to
offer superior facilities for obtaining patents.
All necessity of q journey to Washington to pro-
cure a patent, and the usual great delay, there,ar
here saved inventors.
1estimonics.
During the time | occupied the office of Com
missioner Of Patents, R. II. Eddy, Esq, of Boston,
did business at the Patent Office, as Solicitor for
procuring patents, There were few if any, per-
sons acting in that capacity, who had so much
business before the Patent Office and there were
none VINO conducted it with more skill, fidelity
and success. regard Mr.. Eddy as one of the
best informed and most skillful Patent Solicitors
IN the United States, and have no hesitation in as
suring inventors that they cannot employ Il per-
son more competent and trustworthy and capable
of putting their applications in a form to secure fol
them an early and favorable consideration of the
Patent Office. EDMUND BURKE.
Late Commissioner of Patents. y
From he present Commissioner.
AUGUST II, lS65.-During the time l have
held the office Of Commissioners of Patents, Z. H.
Eddy. Esq, of Boston, has been extensively en-
gagged in the transaction Of business with the Of
dee as a solicitor. He is thoroughly acquainted
with the law. and rules of practice of the Office.
regard MIN as one ofthe most capable and success
ful practitioners with whom / have had official in
tercourse, CHAS MASON.
Commissions of Patents
Boston. Sept. 2, 1867. 22-1yr.
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1858-04-28
A New Way of Counting.


About three months since, a young Pari-
sian, travelling in Germany. took the road
from Augsburg to Berlin. In the car he
selected, were four other persons. two
mammas and two daughters. The two
mothers were face to face in one corner.
the young man took the opposite, and
found himself face to face with the young
ladies. The young man put on a dis
traught and absent air.-The conductor
came to demand the tickets. The young
man paid no attention at all, when the re-
quest was many times repeated. Reused
from his reverie in presence of the ladies,
the young man had a recourse to a ruse,
to avoid exciting ridicule. VIVA. are
you saying ?" said he.-"Why do you not
speak French ?" The conductor then ex-
planned by signs, the ticket was changed,
and the young man returned to his ~reverie.
And not to enjoy it long, for this time the
young ladies aroused him. They began
in full voice.
This young man is a very handsome
one" said one.
Hist, Bertha" said the other, with a
sort of alright.
why, he doesn't know q word of Ger.
man.-We can talk freely. How do you
find him 2"
"Only ordinary"
You are difficult. He has q charm.
ing figure, and distingue air."
He is too pale, and besides you know
I do not love dark"
"And you know I prefer dark blond
We have nothing out blends in Germany.
1t is monotonous and commonplace"
You forget that you are blond"
"Oh for woman it is different. He has
pretty moustaches."
Bertha, if your mother should hear
, you"
"She is busy with her talk, BESIDES it
is not hurt to speak of moustaches.'
81 prefer the blond moustaches of Fred
erick."
at understand that Frederick is es-
poused to you /; but | am without a lover,
free to exercise my opinions, and am free
to say that this young man has beautiful
eyes"
p You do not know | am sure he has
much spirit, and it is a pity he does not
speak German he would chat with us
q. Would you marry a Frenchman? 2"
3, Why not, if he looks like this one
and was spirited, well born and amiable
But | can hardly keep from laughing
See, he doesn't mistrust what VIC are say
. ing"
The young traveller was endowed witt
a great power of self. control, and he hat
preserved his absent and inattentive al
D all the time, and while the dialogue con
tinued, he thought how curiously his at
tempts to avert a laugh by pretending no
to know German had resulted. At a new
station the conductor came again for tn
tickets, Our young man with extra elsb
grafton and in excellent German said
I" All you want my ticket. Very vel
-let me see ; l believe it is in my port
monnaie. Oh, yes, here it is"
The effect of the coup-de-theatre wa
startling. Bertha nearly tainted away
bat soon recovered under the polite apol
ogieso of the young Frenchman. They yer,
pleased with each other, and in q few
weeks Bertha ratified her good opinion o
the young man, and her willingness t
marry a Frenchman. They live at Ham
burg.
~ A New ExEsEsIs--A rather ~illiteratl