The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1858-06-03
VARIETY.

And the difference define
Txxt Mrs Lofty's wealth and mine
VARIETY.
Every art is best taught bv example good deeds
are productive of good friends.
As bird wandereth from, her nests 50 is a man
that VANDERBILT from his place.
In order to live justly, and be respected we must
refrain from doing what we blame in others.
Every kind of employment requires partiQ-}ar
kind of genius.
Riches increase in proportion give to the
POOR
Spiritual ioy is an evergreen-an unfading plant.
only who have habitually used their reason to the
full extent Of its powers in forming the heart and
cultivating the judgment-Henry Taylor.
What must you do to a fea-ta5Ie to make it fit to
eat.-Take away the tea (T,) and then it becomes
eatable.
In all waters there are some fish that have to swim
against the stream; and in every community persons
be found who delight in being opposed to every
body else
secret like an OYSTER cannot be kent too close;
for the moment il is opened it ceases to exist
Why do revolvers go off quicker than other fire.
ms,-Because they sold by the barrel
The minds Of scholars libraries; those of anti
quares, umber-rooms; those of sportsmen, kennels;
those Of cpicures. larders and cellars
A distinguished lady once reproved her librarian
for putting books written by male and female authors
upon the same shelf. Never do it, said she
'swithout putting prayer-book between them.''
A dancing master, in renewing his solicitations for
patronage, wished to express his obligations for past
fvors, when the printer made him say, " Most
spectfully offers his shanks-'
Goop-Seeng upon his wife's shoulders large
shawl pin, Mr.. D. said 81 In the military. eh-got
to be captain ,'' She instantly remarked, pointing
to third baby in her lap No, recruiting sergeant
in the third Infantry"
A sknnk once challenged lion to single combat.
The lion declined accepting it.
ss Howl said the skunk, 90 are you afraid2''
"Yes," replied the lion, you only would gain
fame by having had the honor to fght lion while
every who met me for month to come would
knoxS5hat had been in company with skunk
LA pair OF stockings hose, is a single stocking
a hoe, II pah of glasses spectacles, is one a
spectacle' And If so, is it not a bad show for
sight,
TIE BEST PLACE FOR BABIES" Mother, >" said a
-'ashree- -year-old, whose nose had been put out
,oint'' by the recent arrival Of baby brother,
Mother. II the baby should die would il go to
aeaven,'' 'Certainly, my chd,' responded the
parent :" Then think Heaven is the best place for
him. was the affectonate sisters conclusion
IA wag was driving in his pheton. when somebody
wns<shoughs he knew him accosted him with ''I
believe -sx name is Smith, Then you'd believe
anything, Ss>.tbe reply
FRIoHrFuILY Missssous.-A gentleman sojourn-
next {, two young ladies, ~fpxheard the following
conversation one morning, recene
My dear, I cannot find my bonst and how can
a!ss.s 60 . breakfast shall look slsn to
s.I will lend you my skeleton. deaf1 I'LL fit
you
"Oh, thank you-how knd-yes. exactly'A
Ony one young lady appeared at breakfast. Nat
was the condition Of the one who lent her skeleton
APPEARANcEs.-A coat that has marks of upon
il is recommendation to people of sense; and hat
with too smooth nap and too high lustre is a
derogatory circumstance. The best coats in Broad
way the backs of penniless, broken down
merchants clerks with pitiful salaries and that
don't pay up The heaviest gold chains dangle from
the fobs Of gamblers and gentlemen of very limited
means; costly ornaments on ladies indicate to eyes
that well open, silly lover, husband
cramped for funds. And when pretty woman goes
by in a suit Of plain and neat apparel, il is sign
that she has fair expectations and husband that
show a balance in his fsvor.-.E Y. Tribune.
A vKRY PLAIN LErTER--The following letter was
sent by to his in College:
My Dear son. write to send you two pair Of old
breeches that you may have new coat made of them.
Also new socks which your mother has inst knit
by cutting down some Of mine. Your mother sends
you dollars without my knowledge, and for fear
you may not spend twisely have kept back half
and only send you five. Your mother and are
weu except that your sister has got the measles,
which we think would spread among the other girls
II Tom had not had them before, and he is the only
one left hope yoa viii do honor to my teachings,
il you do not you are an ass, and your mother and
myself are your afectionate parents
LkCIbkE-FuDDS, want 10 Talk 70
awhile. and want you to listen while do it. You
want to 90 to sleep, but not Of the sleepy kind.
It's good thing for you Mr. Fubbs, that you have q
wife who imparts information by lectures, else you
would be perfect ignoramua Not thing about
che house to read except Bible the Christian Asso-
>iation gave you, and tract which that fellow
He'd Porter left day. entitled ssLight to the
rthsa-" It's well he left il, for you re Hesthen,
", you may feel thankful you ain't Mormon I!
understand that insnuation. too, you profane
yoa Ysn,re glad you haven't bat one wife
NJ P.S would have known there was Mormon,
stnev ~ ~ II hadn't told you, cause you are too
ansS - oe paper. What, you amt able to take
to No. ~. Fubbs, declare, your name ought
eaIy is.s - ~ lbs. you tell 20 many Of them It's
tksf - .eek, lost dollar and half on butter
nartet ..;t % siedlar. because did not know the
whole vesr Us would have psid for paper
Don't sseoI...A sstD you are 80 Ignorant, Fubbe
elem dov. yoa took your gan and walked
ssueboiv 80 big marsh . hunting. because
sse Raskss: w st the Turkeys vese marching
Rhbha NJ tes. ypa did You needn't deny it,
~ Tsrtev''o 'ont 3 tiil any. did ~, B~,sa bsdday
n, Ynbbss Ha be ha