Kenosha tribune & telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1856-1859, 1858-07-29
The Recent Suicide of Berlin Heights
Free Lover.

|
announced on Tuesday. The Age G
Freedom, the organ Of the Free-Lover
at Berlin Heights, publishes the suI
joined letter written by Latcha fey
hours before his death.
Its publication may be of use in wal
nlng all persons whose minds tends t
such morbid conditions as are NANTES
III this case, to avoid in time the cours
OF thought or the vicious practice
which lead to such results
70 THE BERLIN SoCIALIsTs-V
DlCTORY.
Justice demands that | should civ
you my experience before taking nv f
nal leave fyou, And I will give it a
| briefly as possible, as well as [ can:
was the only child of an ill-matet
pair. They were Orthodox, though no
very strict; they were what were called
good respectable folks" Neither O
them were uncommonly developed il
any direction. They 'loved each othel
from first to last mother tells me. i
must have been very BLIND love
Three years after they were married ]
was born--a puny little thing with AZ
angular Drain. But in the eyes of m,
parentsI was, of course, little ANGEL
a young God. One year after my birth
my father died. / was left in care al
my mother and grandmother, who kept
house together. My grandmother was
a presbyterian Church member, and
l!Yed up to Gods laws as revealed thro;
the Bible, as well as she could. Look
ing back to the time when | was five
years old, remember a deep, melan-
tcholy feeling that has cursed me to this
day. Tnis feeling was my natural con-
eltlon. experienced little interval
OF happiness now and then. l was not
like other children. did not play. I
was unhappy. Ny mother taught
school and / went to her school when |
was five years old. She petted me, hui
mored me, let me have my own way
almost always. Sometimes grandmoth-
er lnterfered, and demonstrated with
mother, and talked seriously to me-
Mothers and grandmother were very kind
to each other. We'll, in short, / was
spoiled. ''
Grandmother died when I was thir-
teen years old then the housekeeping.
broke up, and 1 was apprenticed to a
printer to learn the art Of printing.
Il After working at printing nearly a
year, an uncle came and took mother
and L to Michigan. We staid there
a while, and then moved to another
place, and then to another, and final
~ to Iowa, where we lived three years.
At nearly every place we lived I got
employment in printing office.
l became a Free Lover while in Iowa
through the medium ofNichoPs Month
y. Then through the Social Revolu;
ZIONIST | heard of Berlin. I came to
Berlin and found it was my home; I
had expected the same. 1.,a ~
Well, | have been happier since
have come to Berlin than | ever was
anywhere else. But my Soul has not
found another with which to rest-my
heart no home
In my younger days I was self coneeit-
ed, owing to false training; but since
coming to Berlin, l have come to tru-
er knowledge Of myself, and discovered
that | am poor specimen of humanity
and that has added another great
weight to crush my aspiring soul.
possess awful aspiration-I want to be
a good, wise angel; but with my miser-
able organization [ can never be GOOD
never! ..t 1908
When was miserably existing in the
world, and looking to Berlin, thought,
Sin Berlin I will be happy; there I will
find brave, and loving, and free men
and women, and | will be happy And
L have found the Berlin Socialists as
brave and free as I expected, but l have
discovered that no earthly, outside con.
dltlons can make me happy. | exiled
myself from the world, to save myself
but [ cannot be Swaziland now, al
last, 1 leap into O6licion!
And none ofyou will say I did wrong
you will say, cit is we'll" Yes, or
the contrary, it would be wrong for me
to stay here, burden to myself and
those around me. am of no account
Let me die! die! die!
You have all been good to me, and ]
have meant to do good to all. If I have
not been good to any one, ask forgive
ness. And my prosecutors l forgive,
and those who have slandered me, for
give; l forgive all. believe in Neees-
sity.
There are but few of you but will be
surprised lat my final act; you thought
| was happy. I tried to appear happy.
L did not want to cause others unhappi.
ness. | kept my misery inside; at times,
how it burned! Once, one of you said
to me, "You look as though you were
in pain I turned it off as though moth
ing was the matter with me. But there
was something the matter with me;
was in pain. There always was ''some-
thing the matter with me-"
And here l unite my protest against
and utter my curse upon Marriage! And
| curse Religion! And l curse "God,''
the Father-Monster!
And 1 say to you seriously, from the
depths OF my symPathizing heart:-Do
not bring children into existence, to suf-
fer! If you cannot parent healthy,
happy child-if you do not know you
can do this-refrain, o refrain!
You will be happier without me. And
the chairs upon which sat, and the
rooms I fingered in, and the things ]
touched, will be free from my blighting
magnetism; and thus You will be happi-
er! And the spears of grass which I
tread upon and sicken will gain new
strength and happier life when [ am
gone.
Most of you will only think of me as
having ''passed on'' to a happier sphere
but see no existence beyond, and think
| know what death will be to me; an6
L = Il. e. II - i