Worcester daily spy. [volume] (Worcester [Mass.]) 1850-1888, 1858-12-24
Gdurtesttr Daily spp.
PLEASANT PARAGRAPHS.

An Englishman, travelling in Kilkenny, came
to a ford, and hired boat to take him across
The water being more agitated than was agree
able to him. he asked the boatman if any per
son was ever lost in the passage. Never"
replied Pat my brother was drowned last
week, but we found him the next day"
An exchange says that in its vicinity the
matrimonial fever is raging as an Epidemic
If the disease should break out here, there are
many fair ones who would fall victims. In
deed, pert young piece of calico insinuates
that it is an epidemic sadly needed in this re-
gion. We think so, too; and we know of
some young men whose morals and shirt but
tons would be vastly improved by an attack.
A butcher, who was afflicted with that obi
guilty of vision known as starbsmus, was
about slaughtering a bullock, and he employ
ed little negro boy to stand by the bulls
neck, grasp his horns and hold his head steady,
so that he the butcher would have a certain
ty of knocking him down. As the butch
er poised his axe in the air, he seemed to be
looking directly at the negro, instead of the
bullock. Look here, look here, hosay," ex-
claimed the darkey, with a great deal of ner-
vous trepidation, "is you gwine to strike whar
you is lookin' Z" "Of course / am, you black
scoundrel," was the reply "Den you get
somebody else to hold de bullock" calculated
the negro; you isn't gwine ter knock dis
child's brains out"
A TYPE OF WoE.-A poor editor out some
where, falling into the hands of the Philistines,
breaks forth in the following gizzard moving
appeal
Sheriff spare that press!
Touch not a single type;
Don't put me in distress,
To stick to me thro life.
It's all in all to me,
If lost what shall do?
Then why not let it be!
Oh, Sheriff boo! hoo! hoo
CHINAMAN's OATH.-Great trouble has been
experienced in California in making Cinnamon
understand the solemnity of an oath. They
will take it readily, but they are not afraid of
breaking it-at least when prescribed in the
ordinary way.
Knowing the horror the Chinese have of
dying or being buried anywhere but in their
own dear native land a shrewd California JUS
tice of the Peace has hit on the following oath
to bring John Chinaman up to ''taw :"
'You do solemnly swear that you will tell
the truth in the case now on hearing, and if
you don't, you hope to be drowned on your
way to Canton, and go to hell afterwards"
Speaking of knowledge, Lord Bacon says
"There is no power on earth which setteth up
throne in the spirits and souls of men, but
knowledge"
n country newspaper refuses TO puDllSn ODlt-
uaries gratis, but ds,-"We will publish the
simple announcement of the death of any of
our friends with pleasure"
The stockholders of the Atlantic Telegraph
Company, we fear, have found the whole affair
to be ''pqying-om machine" And no one
can doubt that the capital is becoming more
and more "sinking fund"
An old topper, CHANGING to drink glass of
water the other day, for want of something
stronger, smacked his lips, and turned to one
of his companions, remarking, "Why, it don't
taste so badly. have no doubt It's whose
some for females and tender children"