The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1858-05-25
ALetter to Young Married People.

for worse. You are bound to one another
as companions for life. Did it ever occur
to You that this is stupendous, momen-
tous fact? Did you ever think that since
YOU came into this world, aprecious lump
of belplessness, that there is no fact OF
your history which will SO much affect your
destiny as thisY / do not propose to en-
oure into the motives which led you to
this union. You may have come together
like two streams, flowing naturally toward
one point, and then mingling their waters
with scarcely ripple, to pass on together
to the great ocean. You may have come
together under the wild stress of passion,
or tho feeble attractions Of fancy, or the
sordid compulsions of interest, or by force
of love SO pure that an angel would think
himself in heaven while in its presence
But the time for considering the motives
which have united you is past. You are
married., for better or for worse. The word
is spoken. The bond is sealed; and the
only question now is-"how shall this un-
ion be made to contribute the most to your
happiness aud your best dcvelopment|-
1t is TO answer this question, as well as l
can, that l write this series of letters.
You have but one life to live, ard no
amount of money, or influence, or fame,
can pay you for life of unhapplncss =
You cannot afford to quarrel with one an
other. You cannot afford TO cherish
single thought, to harbor a single desire,
to CRAFTY n single passion. nor indulge
single selfish feeling that will tend TO make
this union anything but Il source OF happl
ness to you. So, it becomes you, at start
ING, to have a perfect understanding with
ore another. Ii becomes you 10 resolve
that Yen will he larry together, at any
rate; or that, if you suffer, it shall be
from Tie .a,nc cause, and in peri, ct sym
pathy. Ncv are not to let any human be-
inc s,cn lttNecn you, under any cream
stances. Neither father nor mother, Meth
or brother nor sister, neither friend nor
ncichbor, has n right TO interfere with your
| relations, 80 hong as you are agrec'. 4 on
twain are to hc ouc fcsh-idcntiticd in OBJ
iects, dcsi.@, syppa,hics fortunes, positions
-cvcrytl;rg. You are TO know no closer
friend. NV | care not how pure and gen
uine may Lc the love which has brought
ron together, if YOU have any character at
cannot be effected withou, compromises -
Human character, by q wise provi ion Of
Providence, is hauitcly vaticd, and there
are not two individuals in existence so en-
.. tirclv alike in their tastes habits OF thot
and natural aptitudcs that they can keeI
step with one another all over the rougi
= places in the path Of life. So there mus
lie n bending to one another. / suppos'
!. the brides are few who have not wept once
:, over the hasty words of husband not 81:
. months married; and suppose there az
Il few husbands who, in the early part o
J.. their married lie, have not felt that per
h haps their choice was not wise one.
IT Breaches of harmony will occur between
ID imperfect men and women; but all bad re
suits may be avoided by a resolution wei
kept on both sides, TO ask the others pai
:. don for every cffcnce-for the hasty worc
10 the pecyish complaint II the unsharcd pleas
ure-cverything that awakers an nnpca'
ant thought or wounds a sensibilitv. Tht
reparation must be made at once; and
yoL have frank and worthy nature,
"a quarrel is impossible. Ny opinion is thc
d ninety nine one hundreths of the happ
d ness in the connubial relation, is the abs
C. Lutte fault, and not, primarily, the miSfo
tune of the parties. You can be happ
together if you will, but the agreement
he be happy must be mutual. The compr
"' mise cannot be all on one side. 1t is
lie mulish pride in men. and a sensitive wi
: in women, that makes tie principal diff
IS. Guilty in all unhappy cases. l say to eve'
,ssi Ss man and woman, if you have done an
50, thing which has displeased your companio
sill beg her or his pardon, whether you are i
. teniionally guilty or not. II is tho cheaI
est and quickest way to settle the busine'
de One confession makes way for another, al
A., the matter is closed-closed, most prcb
bly,, with the very sweetest kiss ct Il
q season.
N. BE frank with one another. Many
-. husband and ife go on from year to yc
with thought in their hearts that they he
!. ilate to reveal 10 one another If y
fac have anything in your mind concernIl
Ow your companlcn that troubles you, out wi
!. it. Do not brood over it. Perhaps it G.
be explained on the spot, and the matt
~ forever put to rest. Draw your souls clos
old old and closer together, from year to year /.
uIs , Get all obstacles out of the way. Just
vel. soon rs one arises, attend to ii, and 9
Ilig rid Of it. At last, they will all disappe
You v i'll become wonted to one anothe
habits and frames Of mind and peculiarit
Pre-: Pre- of disposition; and love, respect and CHI
old; ity will take care of the rest. / insist
sss, il, because il is the very first essent
l. thing. 1 in ist on it, because ! belle
= that il there be sufficient affinity betwe
her. two persons to bring them. together, a
! or 10 lead them to unite their lives, il Is tn
.ris sss fault if they fail to live happily, and s
more and more happily as the years
Is. varce. l will go rs far as to say tha
ON believe there are few women with whom
r.. kind, sensible man may not live happ
. IL he be so disposed; and / know tha
,.oy woman is more plastic in her nature 9
sse' more susceptible 10 love than man.