The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1858-10-28
VARIETY.

se friend is like shadow on a dial; it appears
weather, but vanishes as soon as a cloud
ey Smith says there are a great many good
ans in the world-without the oil and tup-
said that a man who is hung does not pay the
nature, but simply gets an extension
Is schoOlmaster like chairmaker, Be-
e Uses rattans on bottoms.
MuIrrPLIcATIoS.-Why Is twice eleven like
en-, Because twice eleven are twenty-five,
ice ten are twenty, too.
cE TO THE YoUNG.-Jerrold said to an ar
ung gentleman. who burned with desire to
self in print, 80 Be advised by me, young
ont take down the shutters before there Is
ing In the window.
BR,ISs--Says the Au.ocrat Our brains
enty year clocks The angel of life winds
once for all; then closes the cases, and gives
into the hand Of the angel of the resurrec-
shing, We have occasionally seen a big pike
bg bait, and evidently weighing the chances
b getting q good dinner and being q good
He should have been able to weigh very
fely-he had 50 many scales.
THREE PovERs.-The following modern SEN
i Just now current:
Press. Pulpit and the Petticoat-the first
the news. the second religion, and the last
all over the pavement.
ltice, Of the Louisville Journal. is a famous
lper satirist. Here are some of his sayings:
| Buchanan processes TO be treading in " the
o Of the earlier Presidents In 1861 he will
lbt =" make tracks, on his own account
editor Of the Wisconsin Democrat speaks of a
ghere he says brass coin passes as money!
better emigrate there There his face would
be 4" good tor a drink
toubt the editor Of the Southern Mercury is
hg," but dog can make a hundred better
irh his tail any day.
charleston Mercury says that its party sis
all the isms." Especially patriotism, we
por lawyer hung himself in Milwaukee last
Having had no causes, he left no effects.
OLD HrSx on Casts BELLI.
r,iee has tried how aptly and well he
rattle his jokes on poor Monsieur Belly!
an older French gentleman seems the more fit
natural butt OF Prentice's wit
says Old Hunks, whose tongue there's curb on,
~ Prentice, FOR years, been butt Of Old Bourbon pr
Boston Po,t.
I'd was IN France, and with a Frenchman
enthusiastic on the subject of the Anglo
Flsh and French such good friends at last.
Tut the best thing l know between
and England-is the sea- 50
aid that one Of the editors of New Orleans
on after commencing to learn the printing
went to see preachers daughter. The
ne attended, meeting he was considerably
e1 at hearing the minister announce as his
Wy daughter is grievously tormented with q
SrrNESr FOR THE CABLE DIsNER-A CORES
OF the " Y. Erening Post proposes the
g:
euAToR--"An imaginary line, which dirtdes
CAsLE--A real line, which unites it,,
you have new baby at your house.' says
FERN, to little child
one-" Yes, only so big,'' putting up her
!" does the baby eat, my dear :',~quoth
ats mamma," replies the precocity.
GHr HE KNEW BErTEa-A little boy. ON
In the morning, was introduced to a new
n tie shape Of a baby sister. After glancing
the baby and then at his sick mother. the lit
Pw suddenly turned to his father and said
should thought you would have known bet
to bring this baby here when mother was 30
4 unable to take care of it,
- once clerk IN chicago came near drowning
fr evening, and was asked by a compauion
thought about during the critical period.
ght about" said he, "I was thinking what
rning papers would say about it, In ex-
pn of his singular remark, it is said he was
reporter.
Prigln of the pugilistic phrase lam," is dis
IN the following passage from Scott's PererI
sak," chapter AZ:
snort, the tumult thickened. and the word
20 pass among the more desperate. .. Lamb
Aas, fam6 them," a cant phrase of the time.
from the fate Of DR.. Lambe, an astrologer
ek' who was Knocked on the head by a rabble
les the First's time"
when Eve brought NO to an mankind
Od Adam called her woman:
D1, When she wood with love 20 fond
ne then pronounced IL voD-mau
19s now with folly AID with pride
.-r hnsnands' pockets trimming,
ne ladies are 80 fnll Of ~hims
mat people call them vhirn-men-
AND DoGs.-" You've no wife. 7 bel;eve,
Blank to his neighbor "No. sir" was
y' Il never was married. Ah.'' said
kk' you are happy dog A short time
VT. Blank, in addressing a married man.
You have . wife, sirs'' "Yes. sir-a wife
ee children.'' Indeed, !" said Mr.. Blank.
are happy man. "why Mr. Blank
OF the company, " your remarks to the un-
ana married seem to conflict somewhat"
al-not at all, sir. There is difference in
nents Please to be more observing, sir. I
man Who had no wife was q happy dog
nan who had q wife was happy man.
connlctng, sir-nothing at all know
say. sir t''
accounts, Mr.. Morphy, the chess player. had
.oe herman player LoSenthal, about Eve to
more, but the London journals are not content.
hk MT. Morphy plays well for 80 young .
are not quite f" satisfied with his playing
-ever. understood that Mr.. Stanton, the