Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1858-11-23
Eor the Spectator.
TUT VHo DPoOVWVVT
First Lessons in French.

For the Spectator.
First Lessons in French.
Many years have elapsed since took my mn
lessons in French but the length OF time ha
not obliterated from my memory the impres
sions | then received. Several of my earl
friends and school mates, who participated VIII
me in the ludicrous scenes which these lesson
occasioned, still retain remembrance Of thei
leading incidents as distinct and as lively as m
own. w.
1t was In the Academy of --, then presi
! ded over by the venerable Dr.. Bunch, mos
! amisble gentleman whose solid worth entities
) him to a much higher place in public esteem
than he ever attained. The routine of our stud
les under his direction had hitherto extended NJ
further than the ordinary classical and msthe
matical course, and quite q sensation was pro
, duced in the Juvenile circle when it was an
nouuced that Moneieur Adrien de Saintange hat
obtained permission to organize French class
in the Academy. Monsieur do Saintange wa
not altogether unknown to US. he had resided
in the village for some months and was already
engaged in instructiDg several classes Of young
ladies in the beautiful accomplishment to which
he now proposed to introduce ourselves. dc
was one of those unfortunate exiles from the
land of revolutions and fashion, whose appear
anoe has always excited within Us mingled emo
tions of mirth and compassion. OF a tall. spare
figure, with square shoulders, q long neck, aDd
q very small head, he presented In his faded suit
of snuff colored cloth an impressive example ol
dilapidated gentility. But his face was the
most interesting part of his person. 1t was as
small as that of an infant, as round as an apple.
and as brown as nut. The small round chin,
in which it terminated below, was almost bu-
ried in deep fancy.colored stock, and high,
stiff collar still further curtsiled its diminutive
proportions. .n -, .
Monsieur de Saintainge was, of course, like all
other Frenchmen in his condition, ceremOnious'
| ly polite, and almost too obsequious; but unlike
most of bis countrymen, he was painfully awk-
ward, and deficient in address. we'll remem.
Der his standing position before the class, and
his frutless efforts to enlist their interest in the
language of his country. Five or six Of US were
seated before him, tittering and amazed at
the outlandish iargon in which his instructions
were conveyed. His English was yet In the
most ludicrous stage ofits development, and Our
risibility was developed in proportion.
"De verse ting, young jenteelmens," ne wou!d
say. "Vor dees glass to learn, is to brononoe de
letter." ,,
Here our unaccustomed ears drank in nothing
but the uncouth sounds, and our eyes were
riveted in juvenile wonderment upon the queer
grimaces of a face so whimsically foreign. But
we were yet mutually strangers, and novelty
constrained US into respect we were inwardiy
convulsed, but we dared not laugh. -,
81 will verse pronounce de vowl vor de glass,
continued our preceptor. and be accordingly be-
gan series of illustrations OF the sounds OF the
yowels. requesting US to repeat them in iInita-
tion of himself We got through the task with
tolerabIe gravity, till we reached letter with
ont an accent which sounded in the mouth OF
Monsieur de Saintange so much like the grunt
of a new.b born pig that gravity and respect were
no longer possible. E, mute, entirely overcame
our power of selfcontrol, and we broke out ST.
mrltaneously into roar of laughter This as.
sault upon his dignity was too much for the poor
Monsieur. Sundry shrugs and grimaces testified
IN the depth of his ire. Emotion was painfully
pictured in his face his triangular forehead was
thrown into q pucker, bis little dimpled chin
onivered like elly, and from his buet.hole
month there issued q combination of consonants
which cannot be translated into language.
This scene was daily reproduced among us,
and the cruelty of some of the class increased in
proportion to their experience OF its effect
There were one o. two incorrigible fellows, who
looked upon the French tongue as on lntolera'
BILE bore, and every Frenchman as the legitimate
victim of Young America.
The difficulties of Monsieur de Saintange were
therefore appalling. Explanations OF French
sounds in broken English were two comical to
be endured by such a risible group as that by
which he was surrounded.
A spluttter and horse-laugh were the imme
diate consequence of every effort he made to ac-
comp.ish his task There was Bob Thaxton,
who Uttered in his book, or exploded with I'M
moderate laughter at almost every word, ana
Jim Underwood, who preserved suftl;ent graVl
ty TO practice innumerable tricks upon his pre-
ceptor.
Imagine the condition of the class, one after
noon. when Monsieur de Saintange was engaged
in Gesperate effort to make us understand the
most difficult peculiarity of French pronuncia-
tion-the hquid sound. In endeavoring to IL
lustrnte it, his lips and tongue assumed such lu-
dicrous EXPRESSIONS, that Bob went Oft at once
into a peal of cachination. In fact, the sound
was as LIQUID as the flow of water, but the syi-
tables illustrating it seemed Infinitely ludicrous
So lail veh. nair- -vail-yeh, coo durLyeh, were 70
our ears like luciter matches applied TO pop
crackers. for away we all went after BOD max
ton in q torrent of laughter. o
"Robt Taxtong," muttered the victim, "Eef
YOU will not stop dees laff, will make one rap
bore to Doct. Broonsh. will not permeet dees
| iaff no long, sair." -.
Scarcely had he given vent to this reprool
when Jim Underwood, who happened. to De
rather behind him, adroity jerked the tall OF ms
old fashioned coat, and almost overturned ms
person and dignity at once. Quick as lightning
he few to the door of the room where the resi-
of the bows were assembled under DR.. buncn'
and addressed an affecting appeal to that su-
preme dictionary:
"Doct. Broonsh, will you come to de mex room
to dees glass. Dey bhev yer eel to mezelf. 10
partioue, dees blem Jheem Oonterwoot P9ol 'ne
ont tell. and alnose brek me back. Parbieu' ne
Should be med erarmple. | can noslng 40 V'q
zeech blem full. Eef you can mex him onev
shall be YER luooch obleege;" The Doctor lnIe1, r.
tered with present effect, but poor Monsieur ds
Saiptsnge soon gave up the class and emlgrated
to more congenial climes.
.Ceasar,' said planter to negro, 'clImo "
that tree and thin out the branches Ihe ne.
gro showed no disposition to comply ana upon
Ssino pressed for reason, answered:
well look heah, nassa, if ! 60 up dar ana u an
broke nv neck dat'l be thousand dollar ou,
of YOU pocket. Now, why don't you hire la. a.
Irishman to 90 up and den if he iaiis anu A''''