Brookville American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1858-1861, 1858-05-21
comretts of tbe Sctssors.


RAJ Scaled proposals-rss Tho chap,
said when he lisscd his sweetheart
nara lawyer in Wisconsin has taken,
out patent for filing "mnsquito"bi bills
pay- Quills arc sometimes taken from
tho pinions ofonc goose TO- spread tho
opinions OF anothcr.
Dy-rho genius who files newspapers.
lately broke his instrument while ope-
rating on n s'hard SHELF organ.i tnEd
say-Thc man who tried 10 swecten- hts
| ten with ore of his wife's smiles, has
FALLEN back on sugar. slas ,s.,.
slr-4it ST. Louis, whom high press
ure steamer, crowded with passengers,
bursts, il is called "clcyatlng the MASS
les." '''''
- ildmas4ss - 0afu -shI. 4R 4sh
pU- A Down East Blitor has got
such u cold In his head, that tho water
freezes on his fgcc when he undertakes
to wash IT,, nsf ffeH ~ ta' - i1tfe,
ssys Tho HUMAN heart gives s6, ,0ooa
Istrokcscvoyy twenty -tonrhonrs. When
the posscssor IL In love. number is an.'
~
countaplc' d.aanst sli3.a. t,i ais ~
SARA New York slaguerreotyr list has,
succeeded in taking picture of y,
"muss," including many striking like
ness.
pa- Burns said "Man's inhumanity.
makes countless thousands mourn" ''.
Our Puch thinks woman's iaias,roman-l
ay can bent that two 10 ono. ssiafib Gab
p6s- Mans happiness IN said u, hang
upon u thread. That must be tho
thread that il never ut hand TO SOW on,
u shirt button that Is always off. IA
D1- "what did you give for that,
horse, neighbour A -. =.
"My notc."
"Got him cheap, Didn't ycty' - '.sa
psD-A now stove have boon invcntods
for the comiortoftravelcrs II is TO bcput
under the feet aud mustard plasterS
upon the head, which draws the heat,
through the whole system. ef..sf,
seS-'You bachelors ought TO be ta&od,h
said lady 10 u resoluto eyader. OF tho,
moose matrimonial Il agroo with You
perfectly, ma'an, was the reply bach
eIorism Is luxry.' i'aH
p5-on q very pretty girls saying 20
Leigh Hunt, Il am very sad you sce,'i
he replied: 'Oh, no, you belong Co
tho other Jewish sect,you arc very fair
see
DD-A A ly was seen TO light on the end
OF The red nose OF IL drunkard, and fly
of as soon rs hc It, by tho drunkards
servant, he remarked:
"Aha, you burned your toe, did yoalPa
say- We lately met n grammarIan,
who had Just made u tour through tho
mines, conjugating, or, rather, cogitat-
ing thus Positive, mine; compawtisc,9
mInerI superlatyc, minus. sfiffi
py-In tho ancient graveyard ut En-.
field, Conn, there is u stone which says;
llete nay two wlycs tho boz
When | ann done hope my son
VIII got some STOVES ior NE. .f
py~ aMy German friend how long,
have you been marriedr H.a
'Vell, dis thing that / seldom don't
like TO talk apout, put ven docs IL
seems 30 long ~ never vas
Dsay- A london chemist Eproicsscs 10,
have discovered fluid that will diesolvos
any known substance. Can't our ire.
Gators send over and got some Of tito,
dissolve the Union withg s..6.. -.
D6s~ eMlstor, will you just lend pa
your newspaper? he only wants 60 send
II TO his uncle la heeountry." oh,
certainly; and ask your father II ho wilk
Just lond mo the roof Of his house. /
only want the shingles to make the tea,
kettle boA"
Pan Irishman writing from Caliis
iornia, says ats an Elegant contry.,
The bed bugs are Us big rs dihnerpotF,,
while the fees are used for crossing;
creeks with--one hop an thor arc oyer'
with two on their backs" f..ft.f
pfg. A polite young lady rccenthyas
sorted that she lived near barusAgd-
and il was impossible for her 10 sleep in
the morning on account OF the growing
Of gentleman hen"
DS-Theyoung lady who swooned on
hearing it announced that naked lacs
would be disclosed, camo 10 on rccoiv-
ing positive assurance that it would be
clothed in becoming language. u
pas- A correspondent asks. "What -
the milk OF human kindnessy We
presume it means the milk used at hos
tells on the public tables, after having
the cream taken off for "private board
crs.
ca~"Doctor," said q despairipg pa
tient to his sphysician, slam in n dreadful
state; | can neither lay nor set; what
shall | doyp "Why, thon," replied tho
doctor very graycly, l think yoa had
better-r00SG'
Df7S~ A Virginia paper records tho
marriage Of Miss Jane Lemon and Mr..
Ebcnezer Sweet, whcrcupon our devil
moralzcs rs follows: t q
'llow happily extremes do meet, iW
In Jane and Ebenezer;
She's no longer sour, br' sweet. -t
And he's j. -. ..uoo,.,
IssI'o' o. Jar Mr. Tracy, youi jest when
you y y that my baby is the most hand
.sm you ever saw; you must DO soft
soaping il I" -, :, ...,.s
soap of some Kind !
py-A Fact, aud the Reason of it. a
4 A. 4.I.