davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1858-10-28
Mas PARrINGroN ON LONG LIFE.

Mrs PARTINGToN ON LONG Life
''I've always noticed said Mrs. Par
tington dropping her voice TO the key
that adopt when they are disposed to be
philosophical or moral, '2I've poticed
that every year added to a mans life has
a tendency to make him older, just as a
man who goes on a journey finds, as he
jogs on, that every milestone; brings
him nearer to where. he is going and far
ther from where he started. 1 havn't
got the exorbitance of feeling that had
once, and don't believe [ shall ever
have it7again if [ live to the age of Me
thusalah, which heaven knows, I don't
want to. And speaking of long life. l
haven't any desire to live any longer
than the breath remains in my body, il
it isn't more than eighty years.
wouldn't wish to be a.9eenturion, and
the idea of surviving ones. factories al.
ways gives me a disagreeable sensorious-
ness. But whatever is to be,iwill be, ans
there IS no knowing how a thing viii
take place till it turns out. .''-Bosto'
Gazette. s. -.-.. .... -.-.. ...-.....
Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1858-10-28

The PEANUT EATERs.|=-A couple
of fellows strolled into colored churc h
at Hartford, short time since, to en-,
JOY the fun; but when the colored min
lister rose up to preach, before announ-
cling his text, he leaned forward on the
pulpit and looked slowly around on his
congregation. -..-
''Breden,' said he, ''may de Lord hal
mercy op all de scofers." ."
A long pause. a
"May dc Lord hab mercy on all Dc
laffers.'' -.-..
Solemn pause.
MAY de Lord hab mercy on de TIVE
peanut eaters down by the door,"
The young men did not wait to hea
the benediction. .. ..
Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1858-10-28
A Marriage Service.

Punch having heard of a Marriage in
High Life, performed with a 'choral
SERVICE" don't know what the latter is
but suggests the following for musical
weddings -....
....., t..s PROGRAMME. ..
Opening Chorus, "Hark! hear the
Sound of Coaches. Solo by the bea-
die. Chorus by the applewoman, small
boys, acrobats, musioaners, chimney
sweeps, police and street idlers in gen
eral, being that part of the spopulace
which youF find sat every wedding, as
sembled as outsiders to witness the pro
ceedings. s,'ira r.. ....a-
Chorale of footman, attired in Berlin
gloves, and gigantic wedding favors:
''Sich Gettin' down steps p
Air, with variations, Com Gen
teel p sung by all the female bystand-
ers in admiration of the bridegroom.
Comic Songs by butcher boys, 'De
Dandy Broadway Swell, and "Oh,
don't he just Look Nice -
Bridesmaids chorus. Nobody Com
ing to Marry Us" Sung in the minor,
with piteous expression. -. ......
Solo by rejected suitor, '.Hope Told
Flattering Tale l.-I ,-.raggf
Ting" Sung while Il the bridegroom
searches for the ring, which, in his ner
vousness he fears he has forgotten. .a.y
Sentimental song, Il give the all
Don't ask for more r Sang by heavy
father, with pceuniary meaning. ..
Family chorus, Happy, happy, hap
by PEREZ Sung in allusion to aforc-
said heavy fathor, who is congratulated
on the happy event. taqt -'rrGlf. dig
Trcmolo concerted movement in the
vestry. The clergyman's kiss, dolce
Signing, the register, agitdto.. " La plui
des perles, saq&0so. Wall Of the bride
groom, G8etuOso-whsnd he inks, his
Rondo. ,d'adieu, eve part to meet
ag ain Sung by his mother-inlaw,
; Chafiing chorus, !".Merry and free
from pain and care, Bachelors are we. p
Sung in the distance BY his:old chamber
chums. .h" t.H" 2Ii'"#
!Dirge by the same, ga forbidden
plant is Tobacco, ween 3d. .r... ..
Husbands appeal, Cease your IHrtil fun
sentimen SCI tai Ballad, 20, give me back
my own Latch -key!'' addressed soto
voce to the, wife of his bosom. -.
Chorusses of, bystanders. "Wait for
the Wagon !'' and "Of she Goes p
With instrumental prelude of tam bour-
ines and 'banjos, by some strVlling SER
nadcrs who happen to be passing, and
who seize the opportunity to pick up
few half-pence: r.
Duet in the carriage by the HoncJ
mooney couple, s'Wiil you love, me now
and then p: With accompaniment of
kisses ,dd capo da lib. 81.
Concerted finale, Then you'll re-
member me- Sung by sexto, beadle:
new opener, vestry clerk, policeman,
charity boys and bell ringers, street
sweepers and linkmen, and every body
else who has ever so remotely been con-
.nected with the ceremony, and there
fore feels deep pecuniary interest in it.
Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1858-10-28
A First Rate Pun.

olAt the Supreme Courts6f Vermont,
Mrs Sarah A. Mott was divorced from
her husband, Mr.. Darwin Mott The
Rutland Herald gives the following BIZ
aography; of this worthy,ewhich forf pith
is rarely equaled: d.fin 81 1.uir.e
eve know that man-Darwin Mott.
He came to ST. Adams with a long face,
a sIlver.headed cane and "Rev'' pre-
fixed to his name. He preached ION
faith afew months and suddenly changed
it, He, preached on temperance (apd
the people were astonished at his stolen
lectures and feigned honesty,) and got
drunk He lectured to- theHyoaRg Ia
dies, and played adulterer. He kept a
bad school-edited "a reckless .paper-
stole money, and charged the theft upon
ty Tnspector4got drunk upon smuggfed
EliqueFAtook one, shift-another mans
wife and bundle of manuscriptfser-
mons, and ran away from his own wife
andya crowd of creditors. oh ~sfSa
Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1858-10-28

na- A chap sought shelter of Bos-
ton officer. Sec, Cap'n, first my father
died, and my mother married again; and
then my mother died and my father
married again; and somehow or other,
some way don't seem TO have no pa
rent at all, nor home, nor nothing
Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1858-10-28

BSy- To win military glory is to share
with pestilence and famine the honor OF
destroying your species, and to partici-
pate with Alexander's horse the dis
tinction of transmitting your name to
postcrity.
Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1858-10-28

res- Wholesale don't mix with retails.
Raw wool dosn't speak to half-penny
ball of worsted; tallow in the cask looks
down upon skies to the pound, and pig
iron turns up it's nose at tenpenny
nails. .--. ... ..... -.-.......-y -..
Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1858-10-28

Elr A washerwoman in this city, who
had been in the habit Of washing the
shirt of poor attorney, recently char
ged him for it by the dozen; on the
ground that it was in twelve pieces,
Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1858-10-28

sa- Can you tell, my DEAR said a
henpecked gentleman to his bachelor
friend, what lock is it that Hobbs him
! self cannot pick and take to pieces?'
Cant guess that, said bach. -..-
T Happy dog to be without experience
it is Wedlock,'
Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1858-10-28

/ aa- It is becoming very fashionable
for married people, who are anxious to
be ''blcsscd With an heir to visit the
springs We heard Of the following in
cident a few days ago and relate it for
the benefit of the public. A southern
gentleman, who had been married for
several years, and yet had no children,
resolved to visit the springs in company
With his wife and colored servant. They
went, and in due course of time, the gen
tleman and his wifi were blessed with a
fine young daughter. He felt idisappoin
ted, because he wished for a son. Two
years afterwards, heitoFd SamBo;to'lh nuke
the necessary preparations for another
trip to the springs, at the same time as
king Sanbo how he would like to have
a young master. Sambo replied, r'Dis
child would like fus rate, Mdssa but
taint no use gofn' to de e"springs, .ddt
good loohGi5 clei'h; diiRt DIR ,ao,o" Z. y .
Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1858-10-28

a traveller, on a miserable, lean steed,
was hailed by Yankee, who was hoe
ing his punkins by the roadside; ''Hal-
10 friend where are you bound Il am
roinr out to settle in the Western coun-
try,'' replied tho other. "Well, get
of and straddie this ere punkin vine
it will grow and carry you faster than
that ere horse
Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1858-10-28

! HSy- An excellent hint to young wri-
ters is conveyed in what an old tutor of
a college said to one Of his pupils name
ly:
SRead over your compositions, and
whenever you meet with a passage that
you think is particularly fine strike it
out
Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1858-10-28

RGg- The current coin of life is plain
sound sense We drive more substan-
tial and thriving trade with that than
with aught else. ..
Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1858-10-28

PRIDE.-Pride either finds a desert,
or makes one; submission cannot tame
its ferocity, nor safety fill its voracity,
and it requires very costly food-its
keepers happiness.
Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1858-10-28

ng A teacher, wishing to explain to
little girl the manner in which lob
ster casts his shell when he has out
grown it, said: "What do you do when
you have out grown your clothes? you
throw them aside: don't you?" "Oh! no, +"
replied the little one; sue let out the
tucks !''
Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1858-10-28
CmugI,t ON the ! urY.

The following, which We heard told
as fact some time ago, is too good to
be lost, and may be beneficial to some
gentlemen who has a young unsus-
pecting wife. ; e=.>'-a
A certain man, who lived about ten
miles from K, was in the habit Of
going to town about once week and
getting on regular spree, and would
not return until he had time to ''cool.
off, which was generally two or three
days. His wife was ignora nj of the cause
of his staying out SO lepg, and zsqfferea
| sgsseatlB ffomf anziiety u sliis y 7
| When he would return, of course his
confiding wife would inquire what had
been the matter with him, and the in
variable reply was ''that he was caught
on the jury and couldn't get off. -
Having gathered his corn and placed
it in large heap, he, according to Gus
tom, determined to call in his neighbors
and hare a real corn shucking frolic.
So he gave Ned, faithful servant, ajug
and an order to go to town and get a gal
lon of. whiskey-a very necessary article
on such occasions. Ned mounted mule,
and soon, in town. and equipped With
the whisky, and remountea ito set out
for home, all buoyant with the prospect
of fun at the .:shucking."'s ,...-,....-...
When he had proceeded few hun
dred yards from town he concluded to.
try. the i''stuff," and not satisfied with
once lie kept trying until the world went
around so fast that he turned off the
mule. and there he went to sleep and
mule to grazing. ?, It was now nearly
night, and when Ned awoke it was just
before the break Of day, and SO dark
that he was unTBle' to make any start
towards home until light, AS. soon as
his. bewilacrmcnt had subsidized. 50 that
he could gen the point, he started
with an empty jug, the vhiskey having
run out and afoot, Tor the mule had gone
home Of course 1lc was contem plating
the application. of ''two year old hick,
ory," or piece Of twisted cowhide, as he
went on at rate Of, two forty Ned
reached home about breakfast time, and
fetched up" at the back, door with.
decidedly guilty countenance. 90
'sWhat in the thunder have you been
at, you black rascal said his master.
Ned, knowing his. masters excuse to
his wife when he got on a spree,
determined to tell the truth if he died
For it, ana said - = - - |
':Well, master, SO to tell the truth,
was koteh a seonbt On the jury yr3}nd and e couldn't
~
Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1858-10-28

''Father what do you mean by raising
things in hot houses 2" Why, my dear
boy, you are being raised in house too
hot to hold me, sometimes" The moth
er raised the broomstick, and the man
disappeared in bury - -''@E:'"
Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1858-10-28

r aeA Some years ago, an old painter
who was very cross very graft, and a lit
tie deaf, was engaged to paint the Ten
commandments on u churchf9 He Wor-
ked two days on it, and at the close of
the second day the pastor ofthe church
came in to see hew the work progressed;
the old man stood by smoking ash ort
pipe, as the reverend gentleman ran his
eyes oyer the. tablets.
My friend said the PASTOR why,
you careless old person, you lefta part
of one of the. commandthe nts entirely
out-loh't you see?' "'f'.'i'' 1,.a Ut p
y Mono such thing said the old man
putting on his spectaclcs mo, nothing
left out -where?
ssWhy thcre,' persisted the pastor
''look at them in. the Bible-you have
left some of. the commandments out
Well, what ifI have, said the old man
as, he ran his eyes over his worE-,'whal
if .haye?-therc's a siglilnorcd there
now than you will keep!'1 - 1ot d
Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1858-10-28


y "Landlord," said a certain scedy ped
agogue, somewhat given TO strong liba-
tons, ''I would like a aquahtum Of spi-
rits, modicum of IN olassesyin .conjGhc-
ton with little water-buti deal, large
ly with the spirits, thou man of mix
tures.' .-..--..
Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1858-10-28

"Doctor, what do you think is the
cause of this frequent rush of blood, to
my head ?' 'sOh, it is nothing but an
effort of Nature. Nature, you know,
abhorS q .lttcNUnl. -. -L.-..--..lA -.
Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1858-10-28

n@. 1t is generally supposed that the
whale, for three days after swallowing
Jonah, had a great 6lubbcr in him.
Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1858-10-28

ass- Strange is the love of woman; ~
It's like ones beard-the closer one
cuts it the stronger it grows--and both
a plague.
Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1858-10-28

ss "Whcn I first courted her, said
Spreadweazcl, "I took lawyers advice,
and signed every letter to my love-
"Yours, without prejudice"
Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1858-10-28

ST Some writer says marriage is
like eating an onion-you shed tears
and eat again. .Er J...4r. ,.sf
Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1858-10-28

LoVE-A little word within itself
intimately connected with shovel aud
tongs.
Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1858-10-28

EE= The socret of horse-taming is to
Rarelty the atmosphere about the quad
ruped. ., ..f.-. +..s. ......-..-
Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1858-10-28

Roy GLOW are you, count, said no.
ted wag to spruce looking specimen OF
the genuine snob.
Sir exclaimed the indignant swell,
''who are you, and why do you call me
a count?"
"Why, [ saw you counting oysters in
New York, last week, and I supposed
you were of royal blood" said the wag
Snob vanished.
Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1858-10-28

BG~ Love is a. morning stream whose
memory gilds the day. .y...,,-,
Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1858-10-28

Punch having heard of Marriage in
High Life, performed with a "choral
SERVICE" don't know what the latter is,
but suggests the following for musical
weddings
Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1858-10-28

Say A testy lawyer, lately in one Of
our courts found himself bothered with Il
knotty witness, who wouldn't explain,
as he desire, the difference between the
''thick" and long kinds of whaleboue,
"Why, man" said he, ''yyu don't seem
to know the difference between thick and
long" o..
''Yaa's, 1 do"
"Explain it then" s. -...
"Wal you're plaguey thick headed,
but you aint-long headed, no how" said
grccny.
The Shasta courier., 1858-05-08
Ssn Let mol faise delicacr prevent the iura

ne, Let no false delicacy prevent the inva-
lid from seeking medical reief-the card of Dr.
L. J. Czapkay. to be found in another column.
indicates where to obtain a reliable and COM
netent physician. 1t is seldom that we are called
upon to bear testimony in favor of the skill of
the Musician, but sense of duty as well as
iustice demands that we should not pass Dr.
Czapkay by, without something more than
mere mention. Unlike the greater portion of
those who thrust themselves and their nostrums
before the public, whose practices are empirical.
DIR. Czapkay is gentleman of rare medical and
scientific attainments, having held the position
of chief surgeon of the liberating army during
the late Hungarian Revolution, and is possessed
of all the requisite experience and skill for the
successful practice of his profession 1t is to the
care and advice of such physician We would
commend all suffering from the effects of sexual
or private disease, feeling assured that in all
such complaints whether arising from infection,
indscretion, self-abuss, loss of virilty, he can
guarantee, from his extensive practice, speedy
and permanent cure. To those suffering from
the effects of physical and mental debility, we
would say, let common sense take the place of
false modesty. and seek such advice as will save
YOU from an untinrely grave, and lead you back
again to pristine health, consult DR.. Czapkay,
whom we cheerfufly endorse as a skillful and
tried physician, capable of coping With and sue
cessfuIly graduating those sei-fuicted miseries,
the evils of empirical practice and all diseases
of a seminal nature. DR.. Czapkays rooms are
on Sacramento street. opposite Pacific Mail
Steamship office, San Francisco. mys-3m
The Shasta courier., 1858-05-08
The Cass-Yri11ari Treaty.

This treaty has been ratified by Nicaragua
Its chief features are reported as follows from
which it will be seen that the United States Gov
ernment has under its provisions acquired a
foothold such as it has never before gained in
any Of the Spanish American States-almost
equal to downright sannexation y
!" The United States is empowered to open and
Keep open the Transit.
81 San Juan del Norte and San Juan del Sud
to be free ports Americans to be allowed to
live in the country, marry, and hold real estate,
without taking the oath of allegiance to the
State of Nicaragua.
A general amnesty towards all Americans
"American merchants to be allowed to intro
ducc their goods at the same rates as those
which native merchants pay
The United States to be allowed to place
troops on the Transit when it (the United
States) shall deem it necessary for the security
of the same.
=" The ship canal or railroad to be considered
under American protection.
"ColoniZers who buy land, and settle in the
country, and take allegiance to the same, to be
protected by the United States, if Nicaragua
fails TO do so.
"The United States to be allowed to disem-
bark forces, &c., for the maintenance of naval
station.
''All Americans taking the oath Of allegiance,
to become Immediately citizens
Freedom of Speech and religious opinion
Ihe United States to protect the Transit, H..
he State,) against all foreign invasion, and
j NJ. rs..ln .a..srnal ,FiiT11de.
~ American citizens, nataralized or otherwise.
to have all civil rights in equality with native
Nicaraguans.'
The Shasta courier., 1858-05-08

WINE, WOMEN, CARDS AND RUIN-Dan Deane,
senger,-who has had in his charge millions Of
gold, and whom the merchants of Sacramento,
Marysville and San Francisco would have trust
ed to an unlimited extent, has recently been
arrested for approprating small packages of
gold dust entrusted to his charge as Messenger
of the Alta Express. His purloinings have
reached to the sum of several thousand dollars
The MarysviAe Ne,cs says poor Deanes fall is
attributable to his 'swomann and the enticements
of the gambling table. Wine, women and cards
are dangerous medicaments, unless taken in
homeopathic doses.
The Shasta courier., 1858-05-08
COURIER.
SATURDAY MORNING, MAY 5, 1858.
Convention. or no Conventions.

The Democratic State Central Committee will
assemble at Sacramento on the 10th inst to
confer relative TO certain affairs touching the in
:erests of our party. Notwithstanding it has
been intimated that they should themselves
nominate candidate for Supreme Judge, and
thus save the necessity of State Convention,
yet we are convinced that they will not seri-
ously discuss that matter az ALL The power to
existing circumstances, was not dslega.ed to
"a, comm. ice oy the Dody that created it
Hence we presume that the Committee, in the
absence of such authority, will not seriously
shink of attempting tEet which Democratic
usage-the Common Law, so to speak, of the
party-pronounces an act that the power which
makes State Central Committees is alone com
petent to perform.
......ln this connection we desire to make re-
mark or two upon another scheme concocted by
some very ingenious, humane and people-loving
gentlemen, who desire to spare the Democracy
of this Judicial District the trouble of holding a
District Convention. The plan is for the law
yers to hold Convention and nominate a can
didate for District Judge, without regard to par
ty. Thus, say they, and with much show of
patriotism (of peculiar sort.) a man will be
selected for the position solely because of his
legal requirements. This all sounds very well,
but it will not bear investigation. Lawyers are
not necessarily the best qualified to pronounce
upon the fitness of a man to occupy the bench.
lawyers have their prejudices and weaknesses"
like other men. We have known lawyers in our
time who would oppose the elevation f man
10 the Bench, (of course this was a mere "weak-
ness if they thought he was perfectly honest
and could not be used. If all lawyers were hon
Orable men, then there might be some show of
propriety in their selecting from among their
number the professional brother most peculi-
arly fitted to wear the judicial ermine. But this
unfortunately is not the case And we venture
the assertion that there are lawyers in this Dis
trict who would cast their vote Just as per-
sonal feeling dictated. The qualifications of
feather with them. 1t is preposterous, then, to
ask the Democracy OF the District to forego the
right to make this nomination, and place it in
the hands of the lawyers of the District. The
plan won't win. Although eminently calculated
10 accomplish both its ostensible and Interior
objects, it won't go down with the Democracy
The very idea of permitting each of certain of
the lawyers of this District to be one among
a couple of dozen of men to say who we shall
vote for, for District Judge, is nauseating
In short we are opposed to all innovations up
on Democratic usage. Hence we are opposed
to this plan to take from the Democratic masses
the privilege of nominating candidates for high
Judicial positions, and placing that power in
the hands of a few lawyers As Democrat, we
demand District Convention. What say the
Democratic masses of the District?
The Shasta courier., 1858-05-08

20. o. F.-Shasta Encampment, No. IA, of
the |. o. o. F. was instituted at Shasta on the
3lst day of April, by the NJ W. G.. F.. D. Ken
dali, of the R. W. c.. Ercampment of the Order
for the State of California
The ceremonies of institution having been
concluded, thereupon the following officers were
duly elected and installed in Office for the ensu-
ing term: W. G. West, C. P; S. B. Wescott, H.
P.i G. R. Knox, S.W.i J. S. Drumnond, Scribe
CIV. Swartz, Treasurer; Jno. Anderson, J. W.
n. b. The meetings of Shasta Encampmeut
No. IA, will take place every End and 4th
Wednesdays of each month, at O'Clock P. NJ
in Odd Fellows Hall, Wills Bailding, Main
street Shasta
The Shasta courier., 1858-05-08
NOTICE.

I HEREBY GIVE NOTICE that an applica-
L ton will be made to his Excellency, John B
Weller, Governor of the State of California for
the pardon of Nicanor Romero. who was tried
at the June term, A. d. 1856. of the Court OF
Sessions for the county of Shasta, upon charge
of Highway Robbery, and convicted, and on the
9TH day of July 1856, was sentenced and ad-
judged to be imprisoned in the State Prison for
the term of ten years.
WILLIAM C.. PEASE
San Francisco, May 5, 1858.
Service of copy of this notice is admitted.
J. 7. LANDRUM,
County Judge of shasta County
Z. GARTER
myS-30d Late District Attorney