Democrat and sentinel. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1853-1866, 1858-08-25
miscellaneous.
GUILTY, BUT DRUNK.
BY COL, BRADBURY.

those jokes which are called practical, and
that liquor which is termed bad have been
productive of exceedingly evil consequences;
but whether the liquor or the joke has done
the most mischief, we not called on just
now to determine, We propose to make
mention of an affair where liquor and prac-
tical joke we're productive of the very best
consequences Imaginable.
Many years ago, while the State of Geor-
gia was IN Its infancy, an eccentric creature |
named Brown, was one of its circuit judges !
He was a man of considerable ability, of iu-
flexible integrity, and much loved and res
pected by ell the legal profession but he had
one common fault, His social qualities would /
lead him, despite his Judgment, into frequent
excesses In travelling the circuit, it was
his almost invariable habit, the night before
opening the court to get comfortably corn
ed" by means or appliances common upon
such occasions If ne could not succeed while
operating upon his own hook, the members of
the bar would generally turn in and help
him.
1t was in the spring of the year. Taking
his wife-a model of a woman in b er way
in the old fashioned but strong ''carryall," he
| jOurneyed some forty miles and reached vii
| lage where court to be opened the next
| day 1t was along in the evening of Sunday
tiers with relation of his better half, by
whom the presence of an official dignity was
considered an honor. After supper Judge
| Brown strolled over to tavern in the town,
! where he found many old fIiends called to the
place, like him, on important professional pu
siness, and who were properly glud to see
| him.
Gentlemen, ," said the Judge, '.tis long
| time since we enjoyed social glass together
| let us take drink all round OF course
Sterrit, (addressing the landlord, you have
better liquor than you had the last time that
we were hcre-the stuff that you had here
then was not fit to give dog.
Sterrett who had charge of the house, pre-
tended that everything was right, aud SO they
went to work 1t is unnecessary to describe
drinking bout in country tavern-it will
answer our purpose to state that somewhere
in the region of midnight, the Judge weuded
his very devious way towards his temporary
home. About the time he was leaving, how
ever, some young barristers, fond of ''prac-
tical," and not much afraid of the bench
transferred all the silver Spoons of Sterrctt t to
the Judges coat pocket
1t was eight o'clock on Monday morning
that the judge arose. Having lndulged in
the comforts of ahlution and absterration, and
partaken of cheerful and refreshing break
for the duties of the day.
We'll, Polly" said he to his wife, Il feel
. much better than L expected to feel, after
that froiic of last night
; All, Judge, you are getting too old, you
ought to leave off that business" said she
. reproachfully,
"Ah, Polly what is the use Of talking?
! 1t was at this precise instant of time that
the Judge, having put on his overcoat, was
proceeding according to his usual custom, tc
} give his wife parting kiss, that be happened
in thrusting his hand into his pocket, to lay
;. hold of Sterrets spoons. He jerked them out
II With an expression of horror, almost incredi,
bic, he exclaimed
> My God! Pollyp'
''Why, what on earth's the matter, Judge!'
just look at these spoons"
Dear me, where did you get them!'
''Get them? Don't you the I'M tials OF
l. them?" extending them towards her. Il stol
: thcm.'
Stole them?'
II '.Yes. stole them"
O. My dear husband, it can't be possible
A. from whonI?'
D. From Sterrett, over there, his name is o
~ them,''
lr Good heavens, how could it happen?'
of 81 I know very we'll Polly--I was very drum
- Wucu uoHle iaSI was noG-
io why Judge, you know your old hab
= when you get among a lot of those lawyers.
- But I was very drunk
y eyes, yOu arast'
|, Us "Was | remarkably drunk, when g
u. u. home?"
- Yes. Judge. drunk as fool aud forty time
III as stupid"
az Il though. so,'' said the Judge, droppin
nc into chair in extreme desPondency kne
'g it would come to that at last. / have alwa,
er though. that something bad would happen
y me-that would do something very wron
kill somebody in a moment of passion pc
haps-but / never imagined that could
bo mean enough to be guilty of such delibera
- larceny
-, -, But there may be some mistake Judge
> ''No mistake, Polly. l know very We
bo how it all came about That fellow Sterret
or keeps the meanest sort of liquor and alwa
~ did-liquor mean enough 10 make man
am any sort of mean thing. [ always said
- was mean enough to make man steal. al
IN, now l have practical illustration of the fact
and the poor burst into tears.
Don't be child,'' said his wife, wipil
away the tears; ''go over to Sterrett and t.
re- him it was little bit of frolc. Pass it
as joke; go and open court, and nobody W
Ike think of it again."
ely A little of soothing system operated up
the Judge, as such things usually do; his e
b o treme modification was finally subdued, a
ny over to Sterrett's ke went with tolerai
face. OF course he had little difficulty in 81