Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, Va. [W. Va.]) 1852-1859, 1858-12-13
THE D1sBANDED voLUNrEEn.
sSAlNr NIcKALAs HorrLEl, Dec. l. 1855.


SAINT NIcKAIAs HorrLEL, Dec. i, 1858.
Eadyturs Of the Sunday Times:
wisht the daily jirnis wouldent steel my
thunder. Afore the litenin cabul was laid, per-
dlcted as the constant rigglin of its plyabul
kiverin would rench off the onbendabul wire as
formed the meJum of communicative, and it
appeers it dun so. But now the Daily Times
takes up the idee at seckend hand, as suthin new
of its own mannyfacter, and strings out throo a
hull coliume what he'd skweedzed inter single
parrygratt, munthS ago. Plese send the respon-
sabul paper staner of your diurnil namesake
and cotrumpery copy of the Sunday Times.
contalnln my artickie, and reckwest him to COM
pair my preparrotary warnin with his own
posthumorous remarks. mought pint out q
number of cases too tejus to menshin, Mhar [
hev given glimps of cummiu events castiu thar
shadders afOre, (as Homer Ses in his pome of
0ddisce,) and meushin luther papers as hev sto-
len my profysize, and paraded them as pruffs
| of thar own seckind sight Frinstance: / mought
refer to wot sed arly in the Crymean war about
the fall of Seeblastypool, but braggin is not my
lF0rt. IF obskewer publecashins ken make
Iannoys in the world by follerin in my trail and
Iappropryatin my cast off mockasins, let EN- doc
it; it dOosent hurt me-
Speakin of the cabul-for it kant speak for it
self-wot lively spcciment of fashy swindle
it hes ben. 1t appeered to us at fust like the
rl3lna sarpent in the gardin of Edin, offerin the
deceeyinest kinder goldin frute; and arter it he'd
unkoiled itself, and its he'd 'peered abuv water
at the Bay OF Bulls Arm on this side of the At
lantick, and its tail eend he'd ben snaked inter
John Bulls Irish bay on the luther, we maid
what the poick calls an almity ''coil' about it
Diddent we illoorninate Broadway? Wall
rayther guess we did But we he'd better hev
hid our lite onder bushil, insted of settin fire
toithe City Hall in honor Of the ockashin. Pre-
| vus to the transparences bein taken down, the
/ projeck turnt out Transparent humbug. and
. 6iSlra
the candle. The stockholders found out that
the truteS of the enteptise wus about ekwil to
the Ded Sea Seek no-furthers, witch is merely
| apple-skins, filed in with the ashis of Soddam
and Gummorry. Sirius Field is the oney wun
as seems to hey cum outer the submarine ex-
Perryment rite side up, and he dun well in con-
4 sekwence OF putin and BLOWN, while too mennY
as contributed to the sinkin fund of the con-
sarn is onabul to keep thar beds abuv water
The public wos sold, but Sirius sold. out and re-
tired, as man who he'd explored the bottom of
the oshln mought hev ben expected to, with his
'pocklts full of rocks"
Professor Sillyman allowed, in his lecter on
the subjick, as the cabul was spilled by the RAYS
OF the sun, afore it was took from the factry;
put Its my noshin that more daylight oughter
hey been letinter the conSarn about that time
Wun thing is sartin-namely: that Sirius
Field was born onder fortnit star, and is
credit to the Yankee Nashin. His smooth
u,
bottom" witch he diskivered IN his survay. did
the job He roped in two nifty nashins, and
hull crowd of the srewdest sorter solid menu
he sot two fleets in moshin, got successfully
over most awful fummix, put all creation in a
twitter, made forth, and retired from publicll
life in carridge with six horses, and with the
Merican flag wavin proudly over his patryo-
tick he'd; a man as could do all that, with
nary red to start with, must be sum at talkin n
thing inter peepu, and doc hope thay will hev
statute of him chisseled out, and put up in
Funnil Hall, or on top of the moneynent on
Bunker's Hill. But spose thny wont-repub-
Ilcks is so ongrateful. Prehaps it could be dun
i by subskripshin, on the Mount Vernon PLAN
Eff the Immortal Bonner will contribblt Ten
4 Thousand dollars towards the enterprise, and
make Tie check for the same payable to apy order,
don't mind writing him letter once week
4 for year. am sartin ic would be fust rate
keard for Bonner. Eff he is of that opinion, let
him send the dockymeut without delay to
i Yours allus, a DIsBANDED VOLUNTEER,