davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1858-03-25
9mns1ng 8eabing,

A Cool APoLoGY.-They had a bal
down at Waverly the other night, which
brought out some remarkable experience
Among other events, the following instance
of a cool apology took place:
Bill P. is known all over, and Bill was at
this ball in all his glory. All of his necessa,
ries for pleasure were on hand-good music,
pretty girls, and excellent whiskey. The
evening passed off rapidly, as it always does,
and Bill had at about one o'clock, become
pretty happy. Stepping up to- young lady,
he requested the pleasure of dancing with
her. She replied she was engaged.
"Weli," said Bill, care you engaged for
the next set 2"
She said she was.
"Can I dance with you the next, then ?"
~ am engaged for that, Also"
"Can I dance with you to night ?"
"No, sir" with some hesitancy.
"Go to Boston," said Bill, highly indig-
nant, and turned on his heel.
After a few moments Bill is accosted by
the brother of the young lady, and charged
with insulting his sister. Bill denies, but
processes himself willing to apologize, if he
has done wrong, and accordingly steps up
to the lady, when the following conversation
ensued:
"Miss L., I understand I have insulted
you"
"You have, sir"
"What did I say, Miss L."
"You told me to go to Boston"
"Well," said Bill, II have come to tell
you that you needn't 60"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1858-03-25
6 a XaR@ / Z 3 &MQUXR&R.

day last by the following process. In the
afternoon two young Canadians called on
Pat, took something to drink, paid for the
same, and went away. Shortly after Pat
rick found a bogus half dollar in his till,
whereupon he started out after the young
men, and Finding them in the street, charged
them with passing on him the bad COIN
Whereupon all were taken before Justice
Hollenbeck. The Canadians averred that
their only crime in the matter was the buy
ing of bad liquor, and were discharged. MIR.
G~reenough for illegal sale of liquor was f.
ned (~including COSTS s27, which he paid,
and went away, excessively disguised with
the result of the operation. Burlington
Free Press.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1858-03-25
T1HE SHOALS AND QUICKSANDS

i OF YOUTH.-Just Published, the Sd Edi-
ton. On Spermatorrhea or Seminal Diseases
A scientific Treatise on the treatment and perfect
cure of Nervous Debility, Seminal Weakness, In
voluntary Emissions, Impotence, &c., resulting
from vicious habits acquired during the critical
passage from Youth to Manhood.
BY DR.. CULYERWELL, Member of the Royal
College of Surgeons of England, 1927 Licen-
tate Of the Hall 1s24,) and 80 years Resident
Practitioner in London; Author of the "Guide to
Health" screen Book" How to be Happy"
sMemoirs of Single and Married Life" &c.
This small, but highly valuable Treatise, writ
ten by a world renowne Physician and Surgeon,
points out the only sure and permanent cure for
all diseases resulting from self abuse, and is the
only publication of its kind written in q beneVo-
lent spirit and by q scientific man. 1t should be
in the hands of oil who value their life and health
and happiness here and hereafter.
Price, - cents, or 4 stamps, Mt the receipt OF
which will be sent, post free, and well secured, by
DR.. CH. KLINE, No. 420 lst Avenue, Box 1886,
New York.
Jan 81 3 tt
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1858-03-25
1g.A correspondent in the army is r.

1rA correspondent in the army is res
ponsible for the following:
mWhile our army was in Mexico, Gen.
T was walking in the plaza at Tampico,
when a Mexican offered to sell him a fine
Mustang pony, which the General, who had
keen eye for horses, was DESTROYS Of pur'
chasing; but as the owner was ignorant Of
English, and the Generals Spanish did not
extend beyond 81 and ramos, they made
slow progress towards a trade. The Gener'
eral called an Orderly to him, a genuine
Irishman and asked:
mOrderly, do you speak SPANISH"
"Niver a word, sur"
"Then 60 and find me some one that does"
OFF went the Orderly, and soon returned,
dragging after him a full FLOODED and thor
oughly frightened Mexican.
"Wha are you doing with that man %
demanded the General; "what has he done?'
"He has done nothing as I know Of, sur"
"Then why do you bring him here?"
"Wasn't it a man to spake Spanish that
the General would have me to bring wild me?"
"Certainly it was"
"Will, thin, I thought him the very man
for your honor, for 1 am sure he can spake
nothin' but Spanish at all"
The General was obliged to admit that the
Orderly had obeyed orders to the letter, but
it was no help in buying the mustang.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1858-03-25

ma young gutter-snipe, born and bread
in the Five Points region, and who had never
known that he had any other name than
plain Jack, was hauled into the commission
school, and with him two companions, whom
he bad only known in like manner, as "Fin"
and "Eel."
The former was first asked:
What is your name ?"
"Fin," was the reply.
ooh, my-no. Phineas must be your
name. Remember it now"
Then the other friend was put through.
What is your name, sonny"
"Eel."
"Mercy, what a name! That will never
do. I suppose it must be Elias ?"
Yes, sir"
All this while the young gutter snipe had
been staring at the odd manner in which
his friends names had been heightened out.
At length, however, a glance of intelligence
shot over his face-he took the joke-and
when asked what his name was, ~sarcasti-
cally answered, with a "you don't sell me"
look, " Jack-ass."
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1858-03-25

A WORD TO PLANTERs.-It is the duty
of every tiller of the soil to write for his Ag-
%ricultural paper. He can find an odd hour,
every two or three months, to write a brief
account of the results of his cultivating the
earth, and we know his brother farmers will
find time to read his letters. Do so thep, at
once: give us the fruits of your experience
and facts, if you have not time to write any
thing more.
Short letters are best: so give US your
ideas in a compact form. We should like
to hear from some upon sheep, swine, poul-
try-upon manures, the various modes of
cultivation as at present in actual use, &c.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1858-03-25

ls5- One night, some years ago, the door
bell of a tradesman in the Strand rang
violently several times in succession, and on
going to it he found a green Irish girl, who
put the following question to him: "Duz
me sistur live here?" "What isyour sisters
name?" asked he. "Ca.athrine," said she.
"No," said the tradesman, and shut the
door. In half an hour she came again, in
Ike manner, and asked, "Kood zee tell me
where she lives?"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1858-03-25

IA. Two weasels found an egg. Let us
not fight for it, said the elder weasel, 'but
enter into copartnership.' Very good said
weasel the younger. So taking the egg be-
tween them, each sucks the either end. tMy
children said Redtapes, the attorney, though
you have but one client between you, make
the most of him.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1858-03-25

a6S. Mr.. Fudge in describing an interview
with his Mary Ann, says:-'She put wun
arm round my neck, and tother wun whar
the circingle goes round a boss, TUX the in
turn on me with her left foot, and gin me a
kiss. My toes felt like as if MINERS wur a
nibblin at una cold streak run up and
down my back like a lizard with a turkey
hen after him in settin time, and my slim
mick was hot and unsatisfed like
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1858-03-25

D9% How many yor"ss men are annually
sacrificed by strong drink! The list is swell,
ling with each year that comes and goes
Twenty years ago, it was a rare thing to see
a drunken man who was under thirty years
of age, that the term sold d~runkard" was
used as a bugbear by silly parents to fright
en- their children into propriety. 1t was a
rare thing to see a young man intoxicated
Things have changed since then. Go into
the public gatherings and you will find any
number of young men-mere boys-beastly
intoxicated. They have somehow learned a
proficiency in drunkenness of which their
fathers could never boast. We once heard
an old man remark, as he lifted his drunk.
en- son from the muddy highway, "that he
had always been a bad drunkard enough,
but his son was along ways ahead of him.
That his boy had learned some things be.
yond his power of teaching in liquor drink
ing" 1t is lamentable to see the number
of young men thus on the highway to ruin.
The end of nearly every one is made plain
by the solemn experiences of the past. Some
will contract the habit of gambling, and thus
rapidly squander their property, together
with that of a confding wife. Scores Of
destitute families will thus be thrown upon
the charities of the public. Others will be-
come proficient in other grades of sin and
wind up a useless career in despair. The
subject is fearful to contemplate. A heavy
recruit is enlisted under the black flag ofin-
temperance, and even an Angels warning
and the voice of "one risen from the dead"
would not prevail upon them to desert their
colors The dread march of the doomed host
falls solemnly on the ear as they beat the
broad way to the grave. Yet a little while
and the city of the dead will number them
and the pit their place of refuge! Oh for
. power to turn them aside from the way in
which they are going! Fly your colors fly
your %colors! deluded young man, before the
terrors of a d~runkard's death takes fast hold
upon you! Fly for your life
Spirit efhc Age.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1858-03-25
SEWING MACHINES.
To Manufacturers, Planters and Private
Families.

To Manufacturers, Planters and Private
Families.
IN purchasing such on article as a SEWING
MACHINE, the true policy is to buy the best.
|. NJ. SINGER & Co.'S GAZETTE, q beautiful
pictorial paper, contains full and reliable inform
alton about SEWING MACHINES, and answers
all questions that can be asked on the subject
All who read this paper will learn how to pur-
chase o Sewing Machine with which S $1,000 a year,
clear profit, can be made, and will be protected
from being imposed on by some of the humbug
Machines now before the public. Singer & Co.'s
Machine is arranged to do coarse and fine work of
every description. The Gazette may be obtained
gratis on application at any of Singer & Cos Off,
ces. A machine can be seen in operation at the
Tailor Shop of Mr.. ". C. OWEN, of Yorkville,
S. C. L. NJ. GRIST, at the ENQUIRER Office, is
an authorized agent.
Singer & Co.'s Charleston Office, 324 King-st.
Principal Office, 1923 Broadway, New York.
July 2, 1857. 20 tt
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1858-03-25
TABLE CUTLERY,

Isl pieces in q sett) ARRAYS, in sets and sin
gle; Table Mats. All the new style of PISTOLS,
from so cents to $40. GUNS, double and single,
from $40 to $50. Slung Shot and Percussion
Caps Game-Bags, Flasks, Wads and Pouch
es. Walking Canes of all kinds Clocks from So
to TWENTY DOLLARS.
All the above named articles, with many others
mt mentioned will he sold
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1858-03-25

a~ Baked beets is said to be good when
served hot with butter, salt and pepper
This is said to be an Italian dish.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1858-03-25

How PAT MISSED IT.-Patrick Green
ough, Esq, retailer of poor rum in violation
of the law, was caught BY himself on satur'
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1858-03-25
GOLD Y SILVER
THE SUBSCRIBER

TIAS ON HAND q splendid assortment of land
III is constantly receiving something new GOLD
AND SILVER WATCHES and JEWELRY of all
kinds. Coral, Cameo and Gold Bracelets Gold
Beads, Necklaces, and Neck Chains Fob and
Vest: Chains; q large assortment Of Seals and Keys,
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1858-03-25
LOCKETS AND MEDALLIONS

Gold and Silver Pencils and Pens; Gold Thimbles
and Speetacles; Comedian, Plain, Gold and Sett
Rings; Necklaces, Amulets, Ear-Drops and Pins
Silver, Shell and Pearl Card Gases; Silver Salt
Cellars inlaid with Gold; Napkin Rings in boxes
Silver and Plated Cups and Pitchers; Cake,
Pickle, and Fruit Knives Sugar, Salt, and Pre-
anrun Snnnns. SILV
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1858-03-25

1a~ Did you ever see anything walk with.
out Legal Yes, a rope-walk.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1858-03-25
WRITING DESKS,

Folios, Paper-Cutters, and Ink-Stands; Tuck
Dressing and Pocket Combs Hair, Cloth ant
Shaving Brushes; Harriscn's Perfumery and
Soaps Violins and Strings; Patent Candle-Sticks
and Lamps; Casters, Fruit Trays, Razors, Pock
of ond Rouia Knives.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1858-03-25

IL CAkOLINA.-The subscriber las in press OF
Walker, Evans & Co., Charleston, Ramsay's His
tory of South Carolina, with Maps Of Charleston
and the State, which will be ready for subscribers
by April 18th. The Book is a Carolina work in
every respect, paper, print and binding. In this
History we have a full record of the hardships and
difficulties of our Fathers in the desert with the
savage Indian, and the Driton in the war of TO
The work is being printed on fine white paper,
large clear type, bound in one volume complete,
octave, 600 pages, cloth, arms of State on back,
Palmetto Tree on side, price So SO. Half calf
marble edges, 81 so. Send on your name early
only o small edition printed. Published and
for sale by W.. j. DUFFlE'
Bookseller, Newberry, S. G.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1858-03-25
LOW O CASH

and CASH ONLY. Bring in your Bank Bills
will take almost any kind of money; so trouble
not yourself with the idea that I will refuse.
Ba~ WATCHES, JEWELRY, CLOCKS and
Musical Boxes REPAIRED at short notice by an
EXPERIENCED WORKMAN.
1000 OF. OLD SILVER WANTED.
E. NJ. KIRKPATRICK.
Nov 26 Al tt
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1858-03-25
NATIONAL POLICE GAZETTE.

NATIONAL POLICE GAZETTE
~ This Great Journal of Crime and Criminals
is in the Twelfth Year, and is widely circulated
throughout the country. 1t contains all the Great
Trials, Criminal Cases, and appropriate Editorials
on the same, together with information on Crimi-
nal Matters, not to be found in any other news
paper.
sag- Subscription 50 per Annum; 81, for Six
Months, to be RENTED by Subscribers, (who
should write their names and the town, county
and State where they reside plainly,)
To R. A. SEYMOUR,
New York City.
July 10 2S tt
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1858-03-25
SPOONS A.TD FGRKS.

Silver and Plated Ladies; Shell Jewelry Boxes,
with lock and key; Jewelry Vases; Watch-Stand
with bell and ink-stand attached; Pearl Glove Hol-
ders Fancy Shell Boxes and Dressing Cases; La
dies fine Work Boxes and Travelling Caps Ladies
Uorl, re- eLofc md Stonda.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1858-03-25

FRIEND WooD: 1t was q long time after / saw
you at Blissfield before I got the bottle of Restora-
tive for which you gave me an order upon your
agent in Detroit, and when 1 got it We concluded
to try it on Mrs. Mann's hair, as the surest test of
its power. 1t has done all that you assured me
it would do; and others of my family and friends,
having witnessed its effects, are now using and
recommending its use to others as entitled to the
highest consideration you claim for it.
Again, very respectfully and truly, yours,
- SOLOMON MANN.
CARLYLE, ILL.,, June %, 1852.
I have used Prof. O. J. Woods Hair Restorative,
and have admired its wonderful effects. My hair
was becoming, as I thought, prematurely gray,
but by the use of his Restorative it has resumed
its original color, and, I have no doubt, perman-
emily so. s. BRESSE, ex-senator, US.
o.. J. WOOD & Co., Proprietors, 312 Broadway,
N. Y, lin the great N. Y. Wire Railing Establish
ment) and ia Market street, st. Louis, Mo. And
sold by all good Druggists, and by ALLISON &
BRATTON, Yorkville s. C.
Feb 10 3m
DEARL STARCH, ARROW.ROOT
and Tapioca. For Sale BY
ALLISON & BRATHON.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1858-03-25

Always on hand at Duties Book Store, Newber-
ry, S. c., Rivers Historical Sketches of 5. o.,
CAROLS Historical Collections of S. C., Collec-
tons of Historical Society of S. c., W. Gilmore
Simms' Romances, Horse Shoe Robinson, q Tale
of Tory ascendency in S. c., by Kennedy.
March II 10 st
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1858-03-25
JAMES M. EDNEY,
COMMISSION MERCHANT,

Ob UHN-SIREEl, ~. 1.
ID UYS and forwards every kind of merchandise
I'D for % per cent Commission. Refers to Cows.
Swain and Morehead, N. w. Woodhn, j. W.. o.
borne, C. P. Mendenhall, A. NJ. German, Esqrs.
and Rev. C. F.. Deems, Hon. W. A. Graham, and
others. Dealer in Pianos, Melodeons, Organs,
Harps, Guitars, Music, Sewing Machines, Iron
Safes, Pumps, Garden Engines, &c. A printed
list of the different makers, kinds and prices sent
free. Publisher of an elegant Autograph Of
''sHickory Nat FaAs,"N. c. ISL and the "Cher-
okee Physician: or, Indian Guide to
Health" This invaluable family adviser should
be in every house. 1t treats of all diseases, has
a copious glossary, and prescribes the remedies
from natures bounteous stores, for all our lntlrm-
tiles and misfortunes. 1t is printed on fine white
paper, handsomely bound, fourth edition, 300 pa
ges, and is mailed free for one dollar. New Rose
wood Pianos, $3.50.
,Jan % 4 II
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1858-03-25

nEADY-MADE CLOTHING.-A big
IL stock of R~eady-made COATS, VESTS and
PANTS, suitable for Summer Wear, on hand anu
for sale, by l.. BLOoMbEhd O. DIV
July 16 70
The hydraulic press., 1858-09-18

1W@ We were visited this week by
an intelligent gentleman who has just
arrived from Salt Lake City, which
place he entered two days before the
army. He reports very light immi-
grafton from the States to California,
but thinks many Mormons may be ex-
pectcd. Much dissatisfaction pre-
walls amongst the Saints in regard to
the course pursued by Brigham Young
towards the Federal Government,
particularly amongst the American
portion of them, the foreigners gener~
ally unfolding him and cherishing Bit
ter feelings against our Government.
Our informant thinks "the end is
not YETI Young's Interior object
seemingly is to remove his people to
some spot where they can be indepen-
dent. Many false statements have
been made in regard to Mormon out>
RACES upon emigrants, but the re>
ports concerning their polygamous
aEdincestuous practises are nowise ex-
aggerated.
The hydraulic press., 1858-09-18

We want daily mail to Marys-
vile. We already have daily COM
munication with that city by stage
and express, but our ordinary CORES
pondence, Oh which we cannot afford
to pay express charges, must go a
round about road when there is a di-
rect one to its destination. At least
four days are required to get replies
~ mail from Marysville, which place
is only IS miles distant.
Or. J. B. Warfeld, AssembIyman
from this township last winter, intro~
duced into the Legislature a concur
rent Resolution, which was adopted,
instructing our Senators and request
ing our Representatives in Congress
to use their influence for the estab-
lishment of a mail route between this
place and Marysville; and that was the
last heard of the matter.
We need daily communication with
our big sister On the Yuba, and there
is no good reason why we should not
have it. The road between the two
places is one Of the best in the State
and is travelled at all seasons by a reg
ular line of stages.
The hydraulic press., 1858-09-18

AHEAD OF Us.-Calvin B. Nc
Donald, of the Trinity Journal, in>
tends writing brief and just review
of the mountain press of California;"
a capital subject, which we had prom
ised ourselves the pleasure of using,
but are glad to have the greater
pleasure of relinquishing to more COM
petent hands. It has often been
said By hypercritics, and most impu-
IDENTIFY by that special newspaporial
wonder the Athen@um, of swindling
memory, that California has no native
healthy literature; we think Melon
aid will prove that it has.
The hydraulic press., 1858-09-18

You've AMER1oA.-A bright little
boy of some four summers, who &C.
companied his father to the late races,
applied to his parent on the grounds
for two bits. When asked what he
wanted of the money, he replied
ct want to bet on the race" He
was then asked which horse he inten-
ded to bet on, to which he gravely
answered. "I don't know; I haven't
eeen the horses yet; I don't bet my
money till I see the horses!''
Another youngster, several years
older, who lately earned seventy doll
lars by riding a race horse, was Civ
ing himself lessons in circus foats in
front of this office, much to his own
and our amusement. He had laid a
spring board from a box to the ground
and was leaping from it over the back
of a patient donkey, sometimes com
ing to the earth with uncomfortable
suddenness and on the wrong end
He improved rapidly however, and
finally crowned all his other feats by
mounting the good natured jack bare
back and riding him about standing.
The fiery steed, exhibited great pro-
clivity to traye III circles, as if he
expected at, some time to figure in
the ring That boy may be second
MelYill5 Yet. Genius is usually self
taught.
The hydraulic press., 1858-09-18

RTThis town is oyerrun with
punstcrs-good, bad and Indifferent,
the bad ones, according to Lamb, be-
ing the best. We remember tho
happy time when there was only one
punster in the place-whom we got
rid of BY sending him to the legisla>
ture; but the disease is infectious,
like small pox, and spread from one
to another until now everybody is
breaking ont with scaly double enten-
dres. Even here, in our Editorial
Sanctum, eve must speak by the
card, or equivocation will undo U.S."
One reckless gentleman standing as
our elbow a few moments since, and
speaking of the intelligence which is
probably now flashing through the
Atlantic from England to America,
says it is quite Cabalisti,! Another,
a rasher punster yet, leaned purposly
upon the lever of our press, and, with
a wlllful disregard of correct pronun-
citation propounded the following;
"why is this upon which l lean like a
parting lover embracing his sweet
heart !? Ans: Because it is the
leaver that presses
He was pressed to leave himself,
Immediately afterwards.
The hydraulic press., 1858-09-18
CALIFORNIA STATE HoRTICULTU.

CALIFORNIA STATE HoRTIcULTU
RAJ SOCIETY This useful Society
according to its Vice President J. W.
Osborn, was formed two years ago by
some fifteen gentlemen, and now num-
bers near one hundred members. 1t
makes an exhibit of fruits at the fair
of the Mechanics Institute, now in
progress at San Francisco, and was
addressed last week by Hon. Wilson
Flint. AS attention is now being
turned to the Agricultural and Hor-
ticultural capacities of the hitherto
despised mountain regions, the follow
ing extract from the address will prove
interesting to those who have not read
the whole production.
Fair and abundant as the grapes
are which are produced in our val.
leys, it is to the hill sides in the mi-
ming districts that we shall eventually
look for the best grapes. These
lands are Of a reddish color, compos-
ed of marls and calcareous remains
interlnixed with sulphurets and volca-
mic formations, all of which are high
ly favorable to the development Of the
grape, and what renders its cultiva-
ton matter Of little trouble is the
fact that artificial water courses for
the supply Of miners are carried over
every hill, SO that irrigation is already
provided for. It is a curious fact
that were the gold mines to give out
tomorrow, the various canals and
bitches, which have cost so many mil
lions to construct would b, of nearly
equal value to irrigate vineyards,
should the miners turn their attention
to this branch of industry instead Of
gold digging.