The Bedford gazette. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1805-current, 1858-03-26
I'm mo 0 II g.
A COIOred discourse.

II correspondent oil the knac6erb0cfeT, VINO
/ writes from Mansfield, Ohio, sends the fol-
lowing "Dscourse," for The entire authentici-
/ ty Of which he vouches without reserve taking
taken IT down from the thick-lips of the reverend
orator himself.
"My tex, brodern and sisters, viii be foun
IN de fus chapter OBJ Ginesis, and twenty-s eben
/ verse"
$50 de Lor' made Adam. tole you how he
] make him; He make him out ob clay, an sot
| i'm on board an he look at i'm an he say,
''Fusrate - an' when he get dry, be brethe in
i'm de braf OBJ life. He put i'm in de garden
ob Eden, and sot i'm in one corner oh de lot,
an he tole him to eat all de apples, ssceptia'
dem in de middle OBJ de orchard; dem he wan
ted fur he winter apples.
! Byme bye Adam be lonesome. So de Lor'
/ make Ebe. / tole you how be make her. He
glib Adam lodlum, till he got SCUM sleep, den
he gouge a rib out he side an make Ebe an he
set Ebe in de corner OBJ de garden, an he tole
her TO eat all de apples, 'Fceptin" dem in de
middle OBJ de orchard dem be wanted fur hs
winter apples.
Won day de Lor' GO opt a vishin', de debble
he cum along be dress 'imself up in de skin OBJ
de snake an be find Ebe an he toIe her, ssEbe,
why fuT you no eet de apples in de middle OBJ
de orchard Z" Ebe says, 'Dems de Lor's win
Ter apples" But de debble says; Il tole you
fur to eat dem, case dey's de bes apples in de-
! orchard" So Ebe eat de apple, an glib Adam
bite; an de deb5le 90 way.
Bynae bye de Lor' cum home, an he miss de
winter apples so he call ssAdam.'' Adam he
lay low so de Lor' call again, ''You, Adam !"
Adam say, ''hea Lor' !" and de Lor' says, "Who
stole de winter apples ?' Adam tole i'm he
don't know -Ebe he spec So de Lor' CALI
"Ebe - Ebe she lay low de Lor' call again,
''You Ebe - Ebe say, ''hea Lori" De Lor' say
"who stole de winter applpsi" Ebe tole him
don't know-Adam, she spec. So de Lor'
kotch 'em bof, an he throw dem obpr de fence,
an he tole 'en, $50 work fur your libbin'.'
ga negro in Boston had severe attack OF
rheumatism, which finally settled IN his foot.
He bathed it, and rubbed it, and swathed it-but
all TO no purpose. Finally, tearing away the
bandages, he stuck it out, and with a shake of
his fist over it, exclamed-"Ache away, den,
ole feller-ache away. shant do noffin more
f. s5 acne RRte ken SIAN at as long as you ken
G5-The man who was crossing the river, and
who was thrown from the boat with a large
horse and small pony. was emPha;ically
ssquick witted." He seized upon the pony's
tail, that being the nearest to hIm.l for he
couldnt swim yard. Some one on shore cried
out, "Catch hold of the tail of The big horse.'
s'No, no, he answ cred, ''no time TO swap hor-
ses now"
DyOn Sunday a lady called TO her little boy
who was tossing marbles on the sidewalk, to
come into the house. "Dont you know you
shouldn't be out there, my son Go into the
back yard, you want 10 play marbles-it 10
Sunday
"WelI, yes. But amt it Sunday IN the 6ack
gard, mother?"
e1g- We won't indulge in such a-horrrd an
tcipation," as the henpecked husband said
when the parson told him be would be
Joined 10 his wife IN another world, never TO De
separated from her. "Parson, | beg you won't
mention the unpleasant circumstance again."
said he.
GI"Mother, send for The Doctor" sWhy
my SOM" "Causp that man in the parlor Is
going to de-he said he would if sister Jane
did not marry him, and Jane said she wouldn't"
rJohn," said gentleman 10 bis butler,
either you or | must quit the house." "pery
well, sir,'' said John, "where will your honor
be after going to-"
I5-"Come here, my dear | want to ask you
all ab ou, your sister. Has she got beaua" ''No
it's the iaundiee she's got the doctor says so.'
"Here's yonr money, dot. Now tell me
why your master wrote eighteen letters about
that paltry sum a'' said an exaspesated debtor to
boy sent with dun.
s.Tm sure, sir, can't tell sir but ifyou'h
excuse me, sir, think it was because seven
teen letters did not fetch it.''
'sNow, George you must divide the cake hQn-
orablp with your brother Charles"
"What is honorably," mother
at means that you must give him the largest
piece"
"Thep, mother, I'd rather that Charley should
divide it,"
RZ Marriageable young women are IN great
demand out West. A Yankee writer from
that section 10 his father, says, "Suppose you
get our girls some new teeth and send them
out"
UTAn Indian oui West was heard 10 make
the following exclamation, on seeing one OF our
fashionable thoopedl ladies "Ugh, mach 'o'g-
tcdm ~
tIDan Rice says that the people were so
nice when he performed at Niblo's, be was obli-
ged TO call the carriers, stocking Suspenders.
1-The young lady who was lost in thought
has at last been found. She declares that she
only forgot herself while hagging an idea,
which turned out to be man.
0-T wonder what makes my eyes so weak
said fop to gentleman. ssYou needn't won-
der-they are in weak place." replied the
gentleman.