Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1858-05-06
PLEASANT PARAGRAPHS.

RICHMOND, FRIDAY, April 10, 1905.
PLEASANT PARAGRAPHS.
kJWhy is the letter like a sewing
machine! Because it makes needles need
less. tf
GrAvoid entering into an argument
with deaf man in a railway car, as it is
sure to lead to high words. f .gl
GTJerrold said that young boys who
marry old maids, "gather in the spring of
life the golden fruits of autumn
0TLola Monies says it is strange to see
what pains men and women take to catch
each other, and how little pains they take
10 hold on.
Johns wife and John were tete-a-tefs,
She witty was, industrious he;
Says John, live earned the bread we've ate;"
"And l." says she, ''have xrned the tea."
HrA man attempted to seize favora-
BILE opportunity, few days since, but his
hold slipped and he fell to the ground con-
injured.
GFIt is said that ivy will not cling to q
poisonous tree or other substance. What
a pity that tie tendrils of woman's heart
have not the same wholesome and salutary
instinct.
GFAt the late term of the District Court
in Mahoning county, Miss Angeline 8.
Dole recovered a verdict of 81, ,l50 against
Mr. James Campbell, for breach of promise
of marriage. ... .,-
WEE, AGAIN IN HARNEss.-Thurlow
Weed has again become senior Editor of
the Albany Evening Journal. We vel
come the forty years Editor most cordially
to his old post.-Ohio State JournIl.
GFThose whc are green enough TO sup
pose that Slavery is not a Divine Ins,itu-
tion, are invited to notice that the Virginia
Legislature, among other sacred things to
be exempted from execution, has bible, q
prayer book and one negro.
The OPPONENTS OF DANcINe.-A late
writer mentions as a curious fact that those
clergymen who defend Slavery are always
sure to condemn dancing,-probably on the
old theological principle of tithing mint
and forgetting justice, of "straining out q
gnat and swallowing camel"
GIVE understand, says Western ex-
change, that there is man in this county
who has moved so often that whenever
covered wagon comes near his house, his
chickens all march up. Ia Il on their backs
and cross their legs, ready to be tied and
carried to their next stopping place.
The TRUE LADY.-A celebrated writer
SAYS: No woman can be lady who would
wound or mortify another. No matter how
beautiful, how refined, how cultivated she
may be, she is in reality coarse, and the
innate vulgarity of her nature manifests it.
self here. Uniformly kind, courteous, and
polite tire 1tment of all persons is one mark
OF true woman.
A POLITE Boy The other day we were
riding in crowded car. At one Of the
stations an old gentleman entered. and was
looking about him for seat, when lad,
ten or twelve years of age, rose up and
said, "Take my seat, sir" The offer was
accepted, and the infrm old man sat down.
"Why did you give me your seat!" he in
quired of the boy. "Because you are old,
sir, and am boy" was the quick reply.
The passengers were very much pleased
and gratifed. For my part l wanted to
seize hold of the little fellow and press him
to my bosom. 1t was a respect for age,
which is always praiseworthy.
@Sam and Sambo, two "hands" on
farm, had holiday, and started for some
fun in the woods. They soon came to .
bears cave. deep among the rocks, and
lighted only by one hole above. They
looked in and saw the young cubs at the
bottom of the cave, and the mother gone
IL was decided that Sambo should go in
End se.ze the cubs, while Sam kept guard
without. Sam was little negligent and
the old bear had time to squeeze into the
hole. Sam seized her bv the tail, and held
on like grim death. "What for you make
it so dark up dare, SAM" cried out Sambo.
"GoIly. if de tail come loose, guess you'll
kaOp."
PERSONAL lNpEPENpEScs.-A Western
elitor lately uffiered his hat as prize for
the est ESSAY on ind. pendence. The fol-
lowing obtained the prize: "Naticnal in
dependence is easier imagined than descri-
bed. Personal independence consists en-
phatically in being suited in clean shirt.
draw ers, socks, and nicely blsckened pair
OF boots, with at least dollar and clean
camOric in your pocket, all on Sunday
morning; with your wife on one arm and
your baby on the other, taking your own
course towards your own preacher, in the
blissful expectation of doing your own
snoozing, in your own pew, wherein no
one dure venture to nudge you with his el-
bow or tickle your nose with straw"
The BED CHAMBER.-Looked at without
educated associations, there is no differ
ence between a man in bed and man in a
coffin. And yet such is the power OF the
heart to redeem the animal life, that there
is nothing more exquisitely refined ard
pure and beautiful than the chamber Of the
house. The couch! From the day that
the bride sanctii,s it, to the day when the
aged mother is borne from it, it stands
clothed with loveiness and dignity. Cursed
be the tongue that dares speak evil Of the
household bed! BY its side oscilates the
cradle. Not tar from il is the crib. In
this sacred precinct, the mothers chamber,
lies the heart of the f,mily Here the child
learns its prayer. fIither, night by ,ht
argels troop. 1t Is the Holy of Holes.