davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1858-01-09
VOL. XIV. NO. 7Sl.--sEsHHTss VOL. X, No. ~

DocToR, He Has DoSE IRA phvsi
clan tells the following story, not withon
some regret on his part for the advice civ
len: "A hard working woman had !
drunken husband. who, when partly sobe,
would get the blues and endeavor to de
stroy himself by taking laadanua. Twice
did the wife ascertain that he hal swal
lowed the destructive drag. and twice did
he doctor restore him. Upon the second
restoration the doctor addressed him rs
follows: "You good for nothing <coun-
lrel, You don't want to kill yourself, yoV
merely van to annoy your wife and me.
If You want to kill yourself, why don't
you cut your throat and put an end to he
matter?' Well, away went the doctor,
and thought no more of his patient until
two weeks after he was awakened
from a sound nap BY the tinkling Of his
night-beli. Re put hi, head Out Of the
window and inquired What's the matter z
Doctor, he has doue it. was the reply
Done what?' John has taken your all
vice. What adyice?' why, You told
him to cut his throat, and he E,ns done il,
and he is uncommon dead this time.'"-
Imagine the doctors feelings!
BurrEa MAgGse-Es7I4ATE OF Cosr.
I'm this, Washington county, N. z, it
takes about eighteen acres to keep cows
The land is worth 500 an acre, and the
COWS $50 each. The interest on land and
cows will noint to 500: and it Is worth
.25 % make the butter. The quantity
sold, 500 TBS, at 30 cents, amounts toSl20
So over the cost of production, provided
the butter used in the family and the bat
ternilk will pay for other expenses Of
keeping cows. l think it is q mistaken
idea among people that buy their butter,
that it can be afforded for less than TWEEN
ty cents a pound. Let them 60 to farm
ing and make butter, and they will find
it is the hardest branch of farming business.
A FARMER.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1858-01-09

Use OFT 4 Lows CLAIM.-The
HE, Isnn.,) Chronicle, SAYS tha.
'l's men Of that place We're court
! same '9dy. when one of them pro
. ihe other TO give or lake fise
q dollars Ter his pretentions. Th.
nan 70 whom The proposition wa
Ipeid The money, and the rival with
aere Is an idea for some young
UP this way, not a few of whom. We
t. would sell at a low figure.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1858-01-09

The Chinese GooIie system does
not appear to work very proitably in Cuba
A correspondent of the Louisiana Courier
states that not less than tw~enty-nine may
Iordgs in succession have been murdered
BY them within . short time past,
and the expense Of garroting half Il dozeo
COOLIES for each offence don't pay. This
fact does not convey the ID a that John
Chinalnan is the patient, unresisting
creature under injury, be has been repre-
Iaentel to be.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1858-01-09

HARD TINES AND RELIGIoUs ISsrIru-
rIoSs.-fhe New York correspondent oi
the Boston Joarnal ags:
The hard Times have f,Ilen with great
severity on the religions aud benevolent
a>ti;utioos Of the coaatrr. [ have been
nforned that Union Theolos;esl Seminary
II View York has felS it with great force.
his institution Is located IN the city OF
ewyo~k. L. jsunle ter the auspices Of the
Nea School Presbyterian church. 1t has an
nile corps q professors, and yet all these.
Ike >)@ue If the manufacturing establish
n-nt- Of the c untrv, have been put on
graf-pav. 1t is oae of the MARKED traits o.
aur country en- that when they begin to
,caaarnize they begin with their religion.
iheir donations, their pew rents, lead OF,
.ad the press, religious and secul!r, fo!lowi
sigsr. and liquors come last"
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1858-01-09

WoMsx AND MARRIAGE.-RobertSoush
ey, in a chapter on marriage delivers
himself as follows: ~ man may be cheer
ful AMI cou.eu,ed in ceilbaey, but do not
think he can ever be happy; 1t IS an na
natural state, aud the best feelings Of ms
nature are never called into action. The
risks Of marriage are far greater on the
woalans side: womeu have 50 little pow
Ier of choice, that it IS not perhaps far to
.ay they are less likely to choose we'll
shan we are ;but | am persuaded that they
are more frequently deceived in the at
.acnments which they form, and their o
@ainions concerning men are much less ac-
earate than mems opinion OF their sex
Now. if 4 LADY were to reproach me fol
having said this, | should reply that 1t was
only another mode Of saying there were
more good wives,,in the world than there are
husbands, hiehI verify believe. Know notf
ing which a good and sensible mar IS Sc
certain to find, if he looks for 1t rs a gooe
wife"
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1858-01-09

,@ln Van Baren WAS the promin-
Ar at the late Buchanan ratliica-
se,f IN New York City. This Is
ea veil for a rampant, radical
yer e IS s.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1858-01-09

A Fire al Mineral Point, on Fri
.dav. the 25lb nit, destroyed five stores,
and a large quantity Of goods. The en-
tire stock of goods Of @. W. Cobb, valued
at $4,000 was destroyed
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1858-01-09

TE,TING rHE LUNss.-A cotemporary,
who thinks he knows somethiag,thu tells
how to test the strength of lungs:
persons DESTROYS of ascertaIning the
true state Of their lungs, are directed to
draw in as much breath as they conyen-
iently can; they are then to count as far
las they are q lie, in q slow aud audible
voice, without drawing more breath
The numter Of seconds they can continue
counting must be carefully observed; in
consumption, the time does not exceed ten,
and frequently less than six seconds; III
plenrisy and pneumonia it ranges from nine
to four seconds. When the lungs are in a
sound condition, the time will range as
high as from 90 to 35 seconds"
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1858-01-09
The following will be found e,

ggThe following will be found ex
coedingly valuable to many Of our mechan-
zeal readers:
A box 81 inches by Is inches square.
and IA inches deep will contain five bush
iels, or 1882 cubic inches.
A box q inches by Is inches square,
ADD 8 inches deep will contain " bushels
and a half or 5,376 cubic inches.
A box Il inches by l6.8 inches square
and s inches deep will contain one bnshe
or 5,150.3 cubic inches.
A box u inches by II inches square
and 8 inches deep, will contain half 8
bushel, or 1852 cubic inches.
A box s By "a and s inches deep, vii.
contain one peck.
A box s by 8 and 40 inches deep, will
contain one gallon.
A box by 4 and IS inches deep, vii
contain two quarts.
A box 4 by / and ~ inches deep, vii
contain II quart. -
How CAIRo GOT HER BAD REPUTATION
The editor Of the Cairo Times and Del
la, Who is trying to write that place up,
thus accounts for her terrible repata-
ton:
Years ago, when we first became a Cal
roite, the reputation of the place was de
cidedly hard. Strangers stopping IN th'
place for q change OF boats con idered the
safety Of their baggage BY no means Ger
tain, and thelr chances OF escape without
a bullet hole in their carcasses about fv'
TO five. Citizens observing the foolish
t~Fepidation Of such persons would careless
Nv gather about them, perhaps lounge OF
their baggage; display (accidently, Q
~course,) tie handle Of a ten pound ~cleaver
q ten inch butcher knife, or the pole of 3
Ratchet patty COS cea!ed about their per
sons. and commence with perfect sang
5roid a conversation, perhaps III the follow
ing strain:
Il say, Bob, were you at the ball last
night"
Yes. Real nice time, Tom-four meT
killed. Helped bury 'em Ibis morning
Put 'em all in a queens-ware- crate ans
sunk 'em in the Ohio. Sunk some"
Il saw the ight-most beautiful! Eff
Larkin dropped his innards the first rake
he received frolnDadNoel's tooth pick. H.
tiickered out, laughing At the pretty lick
All, it was 6eatyI. But that %inferna
butcher. whose wlzzen you clipped, hackee
and stabbed MARKS carcass 50 Awkward
that | took it TO be his first set to. Marx
poor, fellow, did his best, but Of course he
couldn't fight in close quarters With a fence
rail-"
In this style, conversation would be kept
up a few minutes, when the party recoi
liected that it had beeu ten minutes sinct
they had ..lickered,' under pretext Of get
ting a drink would di>perse. The travel
ers, perhaps, would scarcely recover from
the horror thus occasioned, before
citizen rolling an empty barrel by them
would be accosted By another citlz n:
sIIank, what are you going to do witt
thatY
.Cofin, Bill-boy dead"
80, get a box-pe hunan-here's on
the very felfer.'
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1858-01-09
How to- Crash ssae.LiatEe Giant .

Ezoxy to CTsassa fEaessLiatEe Giaas'
A CORES on!e,to of the New York Fri
5sae, signing hinself Zeal Rabbit" sng-
gests to Mr. Buchanan a plan for crushing
Donglas:
/. Let the Little Giant be fastened to
is seat in the Senate Chamber. with MS
head bent down and his legs under hi
lpsk. IN such a manner as to make it i'm
possible 70. him 10 rise; ard let all weap-
>ns be take from him flie has anv.
2. Let Mr.. keith Of South Carolina.
provide himself with a heavy clab, a Boz
vie knife and a revolver.
3. Let Mr.. Keitt be furnished with a
bodvgnard, consisting OF two Members of
congress Zone from South Carolina AMI
and one from Virginia. armed to ;he
,eeth.
4. Let Mr.. Keitt, with his body guard.
80 admitted into the Senate Chamber.
and let the body guard be kept near
enough to him TO save him from all posi-
ste dapger.
Let alr. Keitt chivalrouslv, but cautions
" creep up to the Little Giant an! beat
.hjm sauSe}ess with a club. Let the beat
ing ho continued for q fw minutes upon
the h al Of tha Little Giant after he shall
have fallen upon the floor, SO lhat he may
re fully subsidized
The plan. if thoroughly carried out,
would be practical, chivalric, sase-(this
point Mr. K4itt will appreeate)-and eff
@frctusl. It woui! relieve Mr. Buchanan
from much trouble-vouil b. heartily Az
pIatrls "a bg Fernando Woo !, AMI the rest
If the Democratic party. aad would IN
loabtediy save the Mon"
The case would be rendered still more
ike the Sanner outrage, if it is provi-
led hat some Senator shall, as Doug,
lest his motives might be miscoastrued.7
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1858-01-09

BEAUTY or WoMAN.-Is there not a
beauty and a charm In the venerated wo-
man who sits in the majesty OF age, beside
he freside OF her son; she who nursed HIM
in manhood, and who now dweils as tetu
lar goddess Of his households What q
host Of associations are linked with that
mother. in her arm chair! What a host
If sanctiied memories surround her and
make her lovely ven on the verge OF The
gravel @, is there not a beauty and a
Charm in that matronIy old woman who
sits looking fondly on the child IN hef lap:
What, though the lines and ~llneaTnents OF
youth are fled? Time has given far more
than he has taken away. And is there
not a beauty and a charm In that far girl
who Is kneeling beside that matron, her
Town sympthies just open IN active lie, As
she folds that infant to her bosom. All
are beautitul1the opening blossom, that
flower OF nature and The rIpened fruit; and
the oalIous heart or the sensual mind, tnai
~oropes for lovliness as a stimulent for pas
sion. only shows that 1t has no appreciation
of beauty or refined taste.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1858-01-09
-a.fsfers as.es Denyer Dmel.

&r.ea.zfE@Fg ats2 GeTsseF A1fE
sell Noown that Douglas. oppose
r<raR, whom Mr.. Buchanan ap
a secretary and ez-offsio Governo.
over Stanton. The democrati.
IS are publishing he res~on VIII
Is acted with the Republicans in op
Denver: they charge him viii.
4 murderer, gambler and maaE
Its practices. The MURDER Of Gilbert,
/ liter Of the Alta California newsP9-
/ some time ago, BY this Denver Wa
ed at the INN as an infamous oa'-
| immediate occasion for the dael.
ONE severe structures by Gilbert O..
dishonesty Of political pecnlatofs.
t.sn bebs r for their outrageou~
/ i.uts on tie public treasury
c..--+ We're general, but the pub
seq veil where they applied
/ 10 bay up OF iatimidate GiiJer.
a. e..a.
n f.lalerer< were enrag /, Of course,
aa4.ag Gilbert 30 ,pe 4 nigh toned
iaca.ng rtau. paiticaiariy a.o-ts
II a.,2r, soustc a quarrel VITA Alaf
n as.. .-aI to his taking on Io
s.satagssn woaid have I 0 ae Fes'r-
au.j an expedient was adopted.
II us apply, proved but too success
Ii 5l.5art's atueia was general in IT.
and therefore, 10 one Of tie
era coait call upon h.n peronail
Ger an Gtiepma Gen. Denver, a
Ii ,e4 .e.ist, who was regarded as q
hot vith the rife, IA delegated
. Gilbert into lie heid and shoot HIM
b r.sr wrote, and had pubIishcd,an AZ
HI u~ai.l, f5f it, gross personality carce-
II r., IL eIHaL 1t was false frpa:
Ia - ID eDd, aHi It's whole tenor was
ha ~ e tcGid fail 70 see TIE iaten
Us Is d draw cut . Challenge. lhis
81 s'y efies.t thaa tae friends d
st ouce cIowCel about him aad
81 mas dr SHOULD give it ~ notice
,es; ttat lis author would sink in"
rvia @aieh he vas walio@i"g; and
5 aa'e It would onfy serve To gv
u'.Iiyty which he w!s utterly un-
d, but G'li'ert wls III ezoT"b5e.-
rs a H'tn # position, ald crib n
Ut brook such deliberate i!.suits
Is k-eG them 70 be framed Wiz.
use. lie therefore sent him chtI
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1858-01-09

WILL TIE PREsgSr DEpREssIoE Con-
rINUE LoNa.-Senator Seward, who is
considered j wise Statesman aud q loug-
headed man, declared in the Senate ia the
debate on the Treasury note bill:
In my judgement the aeceleration Of
business is going to bs rapid lust in pro-
portion to the rapidly with which business
has declined; and | expect to see every
dav, and every hour of every day, marked
By a rise IN the prosperity Of he country,
graduated just eracty By tie sudlenness of
the depression. The causes of the dEsss
ter are gone. | think Their. is nothing be-
fore Us but a GREAT revival Of business ard
plethora Of money to revive it N all de-
partnents, may be mistaken In this, but
I am willing to stand oy i"
We hope that Senator Seward IS right,
but we must confess that we can see no re-
viyaI Of business until produce Il wsat1
more than it 10 now.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1858-01-09

Be IIoNEsr.-We wish we could see or
hear Of II newspaper in the white States
of this Union that could afford to be out
spoken, honest and frank as the Charles
ION Mercury is in the following touching
the Lecompton Constitution. 1t says:
"We differ, too. with the President as
10 what is submitted to the vote of the
people. We 10 not think that the Ques-
tioa Of Slavery or no Slavery is submitted
to the vote of the people. Whether the
clause in the Constitution is voted out OF
voted in Slavery exists, and has a guaran-
tee in the Constitution that it shall not be
interfered with, whilst, if the Slavery party
in Kansas can keep or get the majority OF
the Legislature, they may open wide the
door for the immigration Of Slaves"
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1858-01-09

S-rEREosooPlc PHoroGRAPHs.-Nogel
| Discouery.-At a recent meeting OF tbs
Live rpool Photographic Society, mir. For
rest introduced to the society a very noTe'
md simple idea WHICH had been brought
ander his notice the previous day by 4
Liverpool gentleman, Mr. Giil,of IsingtoD.
bg when a ~stereoscipic photograph can be
taken with a single lens and with an Or
binary canlera By Dir. ellis process, the
object looks into two mirrors jointed Il
the center, raised at each side so as to re-
iect two figures, and these being opposite
the lens. Two pictures are taken with one
lens. But not only are the two pictures
taken at one sitting, but they are ioa-ia
Iyerted. which is also a great advantage
obtained By The discovery.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1858-01-09

1t IS the hardest DranC1 OF farming DuolheSS.
A FARMER.
SUICIDE OF A t0HMER WISCONSIN PoLE-
TIcIAS 1 WAsHINGToN.-Col. HEATH, IN
a letter to the Dubuque North West, un-
der the date Washington, Dec. 22i., gives
the following account Of the supposed sui
.cile Of an old and somewhat prominent
politician Of Wisconsin.
Con Saturday night last, Gen. DAVID
.NEwLAN, of Wisconsin, was drowned in
the lanai, p street or two west Of the
mouth of the Tiber. Deceased had been
for several days e~ndeavoring to procure
employment under some one of the officers
of Congress, but, We belieyewithout avail.
TheGeneral lad..been,at one time wealthy,
& in earlier years,a sprominent politician III
North Carolina, and was near being de-
IcIared elected to Congress once, in contest
ing the seat for which he ran. For sever
al sessions he was Speaker OF the popular
branch Of the Legislature of Wisconsin, but
late years had seen his p~ecuniary prospects
decline, and as age wore on, ambition de
clined also. He was poor, and came here
to seek that employment which would at
ford him a living"
All the old stock Of democratic polite
Iians had better drown themselves aud be
done with it. There is Geo. Brass Smith,
Bill Barstow, ]. B. Cross, and a dozen 9th
ers that never can get another and there
fore, they will be Of no further use in this
world.
New ESGLANDERs IN THE WEsT.-The
New York Tribune of December 22d,clos-
es a long article with the following happy
a~lIusion to the old New England Home:
The Intellectual energy. however, which
belongs to New England, and which is
I~congenial and Traditional there
doos not find adequate employment with
in her borders. The opportunities of the
acriculturist ave limited by sterile soil and
narrow territory. All The other profes
sions are crowded. The pursuits Of com
meree are soon m~onopoliz%d, since there Is
only "a single seaport Of importance. The
children of the Pilgrims must themselves
become pilgrims, and sing the songs, and
think the thoughts, and be true, If they
can be, to their fathers in strange lands
lIo-day, how many, galnered round the
festal board in the Far West and distant
South, will remember with Infinite yearn-
ings, and, perhaps, with no unmanly tears,
the brown hamlet in which their childhood
VAS spent; the old church, the little school
house, the wood, the hill, the river, the
swamp, the cliff or the white shore. The
Innocent sports of childhood-the nerrier
diversions of youth-the village husking.
the sleiglling, the rustic ball, the skating.
the sliding. the wooing, and may be the
winning! Sad, sad memories shall We
call theml All, no! Glad, glad memo
ries will they be 70 him, who, amid temp
~tations, and deprived Of accustomed sup
port, can feel that he has been true to the
faith, the rectitude and the integrity Of his
fathers, thai he has not, for love Of gold,os
power, or position, been a traitor to the
Traditions of the land which, albeit he left
it, he can never cease to love.
S-rEREosCoPlc PHoToGRAPHs--Nogel
| Discouery.-At a recent meeting OF the
Live rpooI Photographic Society, MIR. For
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1858-01-09

HAVE WE A REBEL IN CONGRESS-
John NJ. Befnhis-l has taken his seat in
the House of Representatives as q delegate
from Utah Territory. Is Mr. Bernhisei
entitled 10 a seat on behalf Of that erri-
tory, which The President, in his Message,
1soelailns as in a state Of rebellion, and to
put down which both the President an
Secretary Of War demand the raising OF
certain additional regiments? W. think
not. If Mr.. Bprnhisei is q Mormon, lie
owes implicit obedience to the will ofBrig-
ham Young. The President says '',!lare
no longer remains any government in Utah
but the d~spotism Of Brigham Young.
and that "he has already committed acts
of hostility against the United States"
If, therefore, Mr.. Bernhisel is only a
representative Of rebellion against the
United States, we think it is at least worth
the consideration of the Congress OF thos+
States whether he is TO have a seat In that
body or not Washington States.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1858-01-09

BoRs TO Coop LUoK.-Mr. John Mar
tin, Of London, is being pat in possession
Of the Jennings property" which for 50
long a period has been without Il recogni-
Ized heir. The cash he inherits amounts
10 the gigantic sum of $50, 100000, while
Els income will be $l,25o,000 per nun
That is something like a fortune. The
lucky inheritor has been wretchedly poor
all his preceding life.
A number of persons in this country
have had great hopes, for some years past,
OF coming into possession Of portion OF
this estate, but it seems they were not the
lawful heirs.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1858-01-09
Nlcnnsin Statistics.


The annual report Of the Secretary of
State contains some interesting statistics.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1858-01-09

n ApCA AZ N@1AAN 1920 -E>
Ilish papers are flied with a very long tel
egrapbic dispatch from Berlin, relating to
the approaching marriage Of Prince Fred
Ierick William Of Prussia with the Princes
Royal Of England. It Is to be An immense
i~eyenG in a1I respects. A palace has been
almost rebuilt, but q medical congress, TO
use the popular phrase,) has decl.ied that
the dampness Of the rooms will be injuri
Gus to the health Of the young coaple,and
therefore they are 10 commence ''house-
keeping In one of the old palaces. Its a
hard case, but then the ~citizens seem de-
termined to make all the amends in their
power. The city of Berlin is to present
The young prince on his marriage with Q
cable, vase, and ehandelabras OF sill
yer. The burgamasters Of the principal
towns on the Rhine have met together to
see ii what way they can best express
their united congratulations. Tie olle-
Irans have wisely concluded to found sotie
sort Of a charitable institution i'll cofnnem-
Grafton of the happy event. Que such
society has already been formed, which
shall, on the coming welding day OF tiie
p~rinceIy couple, and on every recurring Al
niversary confer on the young welded
I~coaple, out Of each of the eight provinces
lof Prussia, = lthout distinction of religion,
1.-The sum Of Thousand thalers, as a help
toward commencing housekeeping. And
ano.Aer institution Is formed for ilonorlng
the marriage and benefiting agriculture al
The same llme. The name Of the iattei Is
line Frederick " ilheIfu- Victoria stittung,
land the name of the other is worse still
Truly this is a great duFyoser a very com
lmon event.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1858-01-09
AGoOd I'm,

We heard, heard the other day, a cap
tai anecdote Of a witty clergyman Q
ithis city, who is said never to come Of
second best in a %jocular encounter.
As one day he was passing down one Of
the streets of q large village, in this State.
where be was settled, lie was observed BY
some waogi>h hangers on at a publ, hplse
wh ich he was approaching. One of these
fellows, knowing that the reverend gen
Iemaa was a "har1 case" at a joke, said
that he would ct the drinks for ali hands
that be could head MIR. H Done"
Y as the response from a number. As Mr..
IL carne opposite the merry group,
the proposer OF the bet called to him
Mr.. H halted and drew near, where,
upon the coaidens chap thus addressed
him:
"Mr. H, we have a dispute here of
some inportance, which we have agreed
to leave TO voai as one competent To give
a correct lecision."
..Ah! what isitg"
at is in relation to the age Of the dew
you tell how old he iss"
''Gentlemen," said the impertnrhable
minister. 'how can you presume roe to
be acquainted with matters Of thai
sort? You mast Keep your own family
records"
The minister went about his business,
ami The vanqnished gentleman vent and
bIed freely Nashau Oasis.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1858-01-09

The minister went about his business,
and the vanqaished gentleman vent and
IbIed ireely.-N ashau Oasis.