Brookville American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1858-1861, 1858-04-02
'comrrita of tDe Srlsaors.

~"~%s%W -" w" <F"~~ wv
Dsg- When you hear young lady
declare that she hates oil men-infcr
that some particular one has touched
her fancy.
sIS- Married IN Michigan, Mr.. Henry
Bills TO Miss Mary Small. We hopo
the issuing of small bills is not prohibit
ted in that State.
"a Tho woman who paints her face
offers an unmistakable insult TO nature
--and also TO tho lips Of man.
Ear No proof Of tompcranco-- man
with his hat OF at midnight, explaining
to a lamp-post the principles Of his par
~.
DEB- Wiggins is going TO study the
German language, since his mispronun-
citation of namo be saw near the Plan.
tcrs Hotel, in the city, 'lleltensteip,'
which he rendered Hell fenced in
r9- Squbbs wants TO know if doctors,
BY looking ut the tongue Of wagon,
can tell what ails il,
reA. Why is n vain young lady like
confirmed drunkard 2 Because neither
of them is satisfied with tho moderate
use OF the glass.
pSS- A broken down merchant, 10
console himself, got drunk, and while
pouring fourth his warmest desire TO
make all men happy, he would up thus
"And il | owe any man any thing, /
freely forgive him the debt!
RsS- Men will always be apt 10 think
the Money market tight If they arc In
the unfortunate habit Of getting So
themselves. rta
pS- DR.. South says, "thc tale bearer
and tale-hcarer should be hanged up
both together-the former by tic tongue
the latter by tho ear."
BE- SAKE gives the following advice
to the rising generation:
In going to parties, just mind what you are at
Beware Of your head, aud take Of your hat.
Least you find that a favorite Of your mother
Has an ache In one and brick in the other.
B<r~"'fhere was time when 1 almost
thought that your wife had no tongue
ut all"
"Ycs, but It's very long since"
Bs1- 4 brawlcr in n workshop, n fool
in fine clothes and slandcrer cvcry-
where, are three things TO be avoided.
pzy- The man that ran the fork of a
road in his eye is TO lazy TO draw his
last breath.
BS5~ Some one asks, sis il lawful TO
hang clothes on Mason & Dixon's line2"
rss~ Why arc shawls like husbands?
Because every woman should have ono,
BsE- If YOU want to make sober man
n drunkard, give him wiio that will
scold him every time he comes homo.
Dz5- One man asked another why his
beard was brown and his hair white p
Because said he, ono is twenty years
younger than tho other"
b6y" The man who was "moved 10
tears. complains ofthc dampncss Of tho
premises, and wishes TO be moved back
again.
for gentlemen any moro they spread
their hoops.
Dsy- "Do try TO talk little common
sense" said u lady TO her visiter. "Ohl
but wouldn't that be taking an unfair
advantage Of you?
bS- Men arc often capable Of other
things than they perform; they wcrc /,
sent into tho world with bills of credit
and seldom draw 10 their full extent.
nen- 'All is vanity, said King Solo.
mon, who had thousand wives. Any
man can be convinced of that fact now
a.days, by marrying only Que.
FsD- 81 wonder what makes my eyes
so weak, said q iop TO a gcntleman.-
"You needn't wondcr-thoy arc io "A
weak place" replied the gentleman.
Bss- Muggins says Jobs turkey was
fat compa ed with itn old gobbler hc
shot last week op The Devils Fork lie
was so light tbat ~ lodged in tho air,
and he had to geta pole TO knock him
down. 1905
par Ispig iron potlided pork or cons
gealcd bacon? A member of an eni-
nent manufacturing firnf,- says, "If We
smelt We should find out" -
pay- The attempt 10 make flannel
dumplings has been abandoned, the in
ventor having turned his attention 10
leather oyster knives.
Ea- We often hear OF a widow mcnd.
ing her condition by repairing.
BsS- A young lady explained TO a
printer tho other day, the distinction
between printing and publishing, and at
the conclusion of her romarks, by the
way of illustration, she said:
"You may printa kiss upon my check,
but you must not publish il
rD- A poor sailor, wrocLed on an un-
known coast, wandered about in mo-
mcntary apprehension of being seized
| by sayagcs, whom lac suddenly came in
sight of u gallows. Al said ho, thank
God, I'm in Il civilized country.
pa5- To dream that you AFRO bciDg
huggcd TO death by blue eyed Peri,
and awake and fnd a piece Of stove
pipo lying across your ncck-is rather
unpleasant
pn- A few days since, a pious old Ia
day, preparing TO 20 to church, was
seen TO take considerable quantity of
gold from her trunk, wrap il up careful
liz agd put Ina her pOckct. She remark.