The Winchester home journal. [volume] (Winchester, Tenn.) 1857-1858, 1858-04-29
H ARE TIM ES;
OR THE
MISERIES OF A WASHING DAY.
BY +. 7. DUDLEY.
OR THE --

have been married just two years
comes next March, and have, as the
fruits of my union with Arabella Bug
gins, three little tow-hcaded, pug-nos-
ed fac.similes of myself, the eldest a
fiery youth of fourteen months, and the
others twins Of fourtemen onths.
am not going to say anything
which will in any way tend to preju-
dice the public against my wife, or
give the least intimation that she is
aught else than "splendid' woman,
which my acquaintance have often
give me to understand; but will
merely say, she is Of a very peculiar
temperament, and although she has
been my constant study for the past
two years, | am as yet unable to COM
prehend her.
She imbbes all the notions of her
boarding school days, from which
took her to make her Mrs. B., and is
therefore as vain, wiIlful and ignorant
as those who graduate from such in
situations usually are.
When we were first married hired
servant girl for hcr--not only one,
but dozen, yet they all had sudden
calls to go elsewhere after remaining
a day or two. and as Arabella couldn't
sec why they all left SO unceremoni-
ously, did not endeavor to unravel the
phenomenon, although was perfectly
aware that if she had congned hersel!
exclusively to the parlor the domestic
duties devolying on the servants,
would have been performed with much
greater regularity and reflected more
credit upon her as a housc-keeper.
was deputized to 60 to the inteiIi-
gencc Office so often, that the in,
!. tcIligcncc man and myself became
quite good friends; for every girl got
from him was dollar in his pocket.
and therefore the oItcncr ! changed
hel p the more to his interest was it.
sin fact we had so many dealings to-
gether, that one day made the propo-
estion for him to keep me supplied with
girls by contract.
After q while, however, the incom-
patibility of Mrs. Browns temper had
become so proverbial among the serv-
ing girls, that it was impossible to en-
gage one on day terms. and | was
forced to inform her she'd be obliged
70 do her own worl, hereafter.
Gracious! what n muss got myself
into. She shricked, groaned, tore her
hair, called me a brute, bear, a mon
ster, and q mean old fool; threatened
to 90 back to her mother and sue for a
divorce.
was frightened at the effect of my
words and hastily slank out ofthc way
until the storm had subsidized a little.
have perfect horror of domestic
wrangles, and never have the least in
clination to indulge in brawl and tu-
multi.
When lagain beheld my wife, she
= was calm-terribly calm, and greeted
me with sauvity, portentious as
thought. of impending calamity. She
was moving about the house with a
cookbook in one hand, and rolling
pin in the other, and seemed striving
to initiate herself into the mysteries of
the culinary art as speedily as posi-.
Bile.
At supper time l was surprised to
see how well she had succeeded, and
| expressed myself pleased. On the
table beside good array of other ed
ibles, was a dark looking cake of fair
proportions, and well laden with
plums took my knife and cut a
slice off. Tbunderation! with what
disgust | spat out the mouthful had
taken into my plate. OF all the bit
ter, nauseous compounds had ever
tasted, that was the worst; twas more
like a conglomeration Of saleratus,
soda, cream Of tartar, asafetida and
Jalap, we'll mixed up with -four and
water, and baked to a dingy brown
than anything else conceivable.
Arabella, who had only been wait
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