davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Orleans daily crescent. [volume] ([New Orleans, La.]) 1851-1866, 1858-11-05
rTHE FIRST ANNUAL STATEMENT Of
4 THE CITIZENS MUTUAL INSURANCE COMPANY

fENE5IG ElI3S9 ANIMAL STATEN GET 9F
In conformity with the requirements OF their charter, the
Citizens Mutual insurance Company make following state
Amount of Premiums received for the year ending
Both November, 1881 $500, 643 70
Premiums on Fire Risks Sl64, 1876 u
do Marine RISKS. ,'''........'. y6.l6g Z
do River Risks.,............. 1898 II
---8300, 645 10
Less Return Premiums .................. 1872 65
Net earned Premiums .S244,S 1856 10
Losses paid during the same period, viz
On Fire Risks ...,'.....,'... .S526SSS3 ~
On Marine klSks.,',.-t.'.... 82,I52 ~
On River Risks .,,....t,.s.. " III ZSs
---S!I Ups 20
Reinsurance. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS. 1882 IS
----Sll4 1853 81
z ,z ,,-,,,
Net earned proat for the year ending SOth
November 1857 .Sl299l6 IS
The Company has the following assets, viz
Bills receivable, being balance Que n subscription
New Orleans daily crescent. [volume] ([New Orleans, La.]) 1851-1866, 1858-11-05

Let friendship creep gently to height if it Tnsh
to it, it may soon run itself out Of breath,
New Orleans daily crescent. [volume] ([New Orleans, La.]) 1851-1866, 1858-11-05
LNiner,s CanadIan Vermifuge.,


CERTAIN REMEDY FoR MoFMs-WARkANTED
PURELY YEGETABLE-A Speedy Cure and Efectua
Remedy for Worms
tsac,n,.sta,,,.,,.1 ,.,,,-s =. a..
II Is ls Snauo" u uouo' Dy inc
=, ~ by 2is,'ns' lg
tsss - ~ - ,i. -. IL,
~ .. e'
r attfted "a soretlf also various ave Tho ona~atons
- -as,r,3ad o -,a+ias s , ~,
- s - -, - - - - 4rt, ,,
- t tI,t ha..fna d i 80 a. -
E go ~ 80 - , ~ ias
Ttt 10 sot.d Nv no testi,oz oS M os a,,
t aud ssoarto ri tte co,rt ~ a
remedyis -. ..z
MANhN . oANApiAN 'Eh2iiR WE
operation easily administered than
any other Some of the symptoms which indicate the existence
worms in the bowels are follows The couneuance
pale of leaden color and suused with occasional Pushes
the eyes are heavy and dull tie breath fed upper ips
swollen feelings in the nosr which the patienttopck
his nose the sleep disturbed the patient often
great fright and is liable to starting grinding teeth tho
appetite exceedingly Irregular being sometimes yoracous
at others feeble and in some it is deprtved
To the following certificates numerous others might be added
New Orleans daily crescent. [volume] ([New Orleans, La.]) 1851-1866, 1858-11-05

Neighbor T had social party at his house
few evenings SINCE and the "dear boyn Charles, a
fiveyearod colt, was favored with permission to be
seen in the parlor. PA is somewhat proud of his
boy and Charles was, of course, deliberately gotten
up for so great an occasion. Among other extras,
the little fellows hair was treated to liberal supply
Of eau de cologne, to his huge qualification. AS he
entered the parlor, and made his bow to the ladies
and gentlemen
"Lookee here" said he proudly, "if any of You
smells smell, that's me !"
The effect was decided, and Charles having thus in
brief sentence delivered an illustrative essay on
human vanity, was the hero of the evening.
New Orleans daily crescent. [volume] ([New Orleans, La.]) 1851-1866, 1858-11-05

"a FATAL FACILITY IN WRITING A few men
write at an easy caneEs but it is fatal facility y
they possess and not to be prayed fOr the thoughts
OF still fewer leap into life fullgrown, and in pano
ply for the Minerva family is very limited and,
cording to Homer, never had mother. Those real
gems Of thought that shine like stars in the night,
were not struck out at heat as sparks from black
smiths anvil are, but were fashioned aud polished
with patient and weary hand perchance weary
and aching head and heart.
New Orleans daily crescent. [volume] ([New Orleans, La.]) 1851-1866, 1858-11-05

TRUSTEES.
Christian Honold, John Fox, J. ". Burbridge
J. Cramer, R. Brugier, n. NJ. Benachi,
4. II. POmrOy, Thos. Byrne, F. ", Kirchhof,
". A. Vfolett Geo. W. West s. Plassan,
A. LecsWt, A. K. Montgomery, A. CAmmRcE,
g. A. FoSdickt VIM. UrquhHrt, VIM. Prehn
C. W. Phillips, Richard Sugent W C. Watts,
A. Carriere, c. FRssy, J. S. Wallis,
f. (tanucheAu, G. ". Dunbar, Chas. Latte,
J. Thornbill, Henry RodewBld, Leon Queyrouse,
Mason Pitcher A. P. Noblom, J. L. MaeaulRy.
New Orleans daily crescent. [volume] ([New Orleans, La.]) 1851-1866, 1858-11-05

S. NICHOLSON 4 Co, CarondeletStreet
sAhU Ell SMITH CO. Corner Camp Commercial
Alley.
JUDsON Co, Corner Camp and CaRalstrests.
BROWN, JOHNSTON & Co, No. IS Camp street.
BEN0IST, SHAW 4 CO., No. 81 Camp street.
BANK OF COMMERCE, JACOB BARKER, Agent,
- erCampaud 3raviers
THOMAS H. BARKER, Corner Camp and Gravierstreets
u. ". CONVEX \ SON, No. % Carondelet street.
New Orleans daily crescent. [volume] ([New Orleans, La.]) 1851-1866, 1858-11-05
Real schredaYn schnnpps.

Real Schiedam Schnapps.
vANDEvEER's INDICATED GIL
GENUINE SCHIEDAN SCHN4PPS.
pure arceof Holland Gina wholesome beverage, and
invaluable
FAMILY MEDIGINE,
particularly beneGcialin all cases OF
Dysentery,
Dyspepsia,
Diarrhea,
rheumatism
Cont,
Feyer,.
etc., etc, etc.
tits hghlyrecommended by many of the most eiuentphy
throughout the States as an excellent and agreeable
erave and admitted to eectuay all diseases
nary Organs etc. and peculiarly adapted to the of Fe
males and children.
| the name ofthe
REAL sCHIEDAM sCHNAPPs,
thePublic cautioned purchase but the genuine a
cle called
DR.. YANDERvEER's INDICATED GIN.
Or
Real. schiedam Schnapps.
REach bottle will the signature ;of the proprietOr
andn one othe is genuine without.
RFOr sale inNew Orleans wholesale and RETAIL propr
Ors' prcessby
dig a and l5l Cbsrtrss street,
New Orleans daily crescent. [volume] ([New Orleans, La.]) 1851-1866, 1858-11-05

meeting Of the Board Directors held this day ii
resolved declare dividend of FORTY PER CENT to the
insured for Scrip will the Of
June next and FORTY PER CENT. the Stockholders
the cap paid payable 18Th section of the
Charter of the Company and after the 18th day OF Mays
A. CHIAPELLA, President.
JULES DOLHONDE. Secretary
New Orleans daily crescent. [volume] ([New Orleans, La.]) 1851-1866, 1858-11-05
INSURANCE.
NEW ORLEANS AGENCY OF THE
HOME INSURANCE COMPANY,

NEW ORLEANS AGENCY OF THE
HOME INSURANCE COMPANY,
New York.
Cash Capital. .SG1)uO0 Surplus S250OOO
This Company is perfectly responsible for all Losses under It's
Policies and Is well known the Focal Companies Of New
Orleans and Merchants generally many Of whom hold poll
ces Of Insurance. Fire and River Risks taken lowest rates,
and 10 cent CASH return Premiums in lieu Of Scrip
Dividends. r. W. RAYNE, Agent,
No. 80 Magazine street, New Orleans.
DIRECTORS:
Charles J. Martin, President;
A. r Wlllmarth, yicePresldent;
William O.. Lambert, firm OF A. a A. Lawrence & Co..
George e Collins, firm of Sherman 4 Collins
Iucus Hopkins fresdent Importers and Traders Bank
Thomas Messenger, firm Of 7 4 H. @eshenzer
Charles B. Baicb brm d G. B. Hatch Hitler Mersereau;
y Watson Bull, firm Of Haskell, Merricis Bull
Levi r Stone, firm Of Stone Starr 4 Co.
Geo5ss h%SFgaa Am 5 of {, + aa ao,gss 60 O.
Oliver L WOOD, atfp Of willard WOOD c.
E f 4e5 N3s% 4 s! + Ts5 @sSF@S g Son
: Levi P. Morton, firm Morton, Grinnell Coz
%aFd WoR urn m Of Ward A. work Son Son
james Low, firm Of James Lowe Co.: Of Lon sville
sasg Fr9hi2s5a% F firm n e l ErG d Co
Hsay q H @ y .sss # n sg a. HG0n' 60
YIN sGqrgs r. E., Arm 5g 5 IF s,urgis sbs f,ss 60
Alfred S, Barnes, firm Of A. S. Barnes Cos
Curtis Noble firm Of ondit Il Noble;
John g. Hutchinson, firm Of J. G. Howe Co., of Boston
Charles P. Baldwin, Grm Of Baldwin, Starr Coz
Amos T. Dwight, firm of Traw0rdge, Dwight Go
John Il. Ford, firm of Ford Rubber Company
Sidney Mason, firm Of Mason Thompson
George r. sedman firm Of stednan, Carlisle shaw. Of
Cincinnati
John W. Whiiock, firm of whitlock, kellogg & Carter;
Cyrus Yale Jr., firm Of G. Yale, Jr, Co, Of New Or
leans
VIM r. Fosdck firm of VIM. R. Il Chas. B. Fosdck
f. H. Cossitt finn of Cossiu Hill Talimadge, Of Mem
phis, Tenn;
(CHARLES j. MARTIN, President.
Officers, A. F. pILLMARTH, Vice. President.
New Orleans daily crescent. [volume] ([New Orleans, La.]) 1851-1866, 1858-11-05

THE IMPROVED McCHESNEY WASH
ING ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS and for sale by the sub
ECrbe Orders left Apollo street. 294 Magazine street
in Box i46 Aeehancs Exchange at the grocery
james Collins 68 Apollo street. where specimen may seen
will be promptly attended All ask OF the public fair
trial and If they do give satisfaction the the
money will be refunded. J. NJ. DAUGHERTY,
VI No. 10 ApeTl street
New Orleans daily crescent. [volume] ([New Orleans, La.]) 1851-1866, 1858-11-05

The Company continues insure against per of the
and rivers and loss and damage by IRE rates
Of premiums
0FFIUE No Carondeletstree
o. GAILLARD President
A. sCHREIBER. Secretary. di2 II
New Orleans daily crescent. [volume] ([New Orleans, La.]) 1851-1866, 1858-11-05

MONEY! MONEYsI-LOAN OFFICE LOUIS
w BLANC No. A Cont treet, between Charities and
change Place.
MONEY LOANED ON LIBERAL TFRMS-All descrp.
tons Of 5EWELRE and RICH FANCY GOODS TAKEN ON
DEPOSIT az
New Orleans daily crescent. [volume] ([New Orleans, La.]) 1851-1866, 1858-11-05

STATEMENr on TINE AFFAIKs

THE STAR INSURANCE COMPANY
For the year ending May 81 1858.
Amount Of Premiums received II
Premiums on Fire Risks, .S5i65f II
!. River Risks......, ........ l95g2 39--lI2,225 Il
PTsaiians cancelled 6i6 s. 81 $50 60
New Orleans daily crescent. [volume] ([New Orleans, La.]) 1851-1866, 1858-11-05

7 OUKsIAHA mUTUAL INSURANCE CONE
II PANY OF NEW ORLEANS.
NEW ORLEAAs, March L 1853.
In conformity with the requirements their charter,
Company publish the following statement:
amount of premiums from the LIST March, 1851 to
the 18th February 1883. $3.50 1852 60
Amount unearned premiums, March l, 867.. 1921 q
SS71,o78 81
Viz Premium Fire Risks.. .S27OS9T 10
Premium on Marine Risks 27g,350 66
Premium OF River RskB.........,. l2O, $40 UO
S67l,O7s 81
Return premiums ..s.......'.'.'.....'.. 1857 10
SlO6,6g7 l6
Net earned DremiRrns the year ending 18th Feb
ruary, 1853 $o6s40 b
Losses paid during thesame psriod
Fire Losses ..S6lrIy5 w
Marine LOSSES. .................., 1856 b
River LoBses... 7O,533 gu
S27g,285 90
EXPENSES and Reinsurance, less interest,
DISCOUNT ETC. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS. z19ib 55
1901 ,2ll 50
Net earned oroHts for the year ending February 49,
New Orleans daily crescent. [volume] ([New Orleans, La.]) 1851-1866, 1858-11-05
CECOND ANNUAL STATEMENT
- THB-
SUN MUTUAL INSURANCE COMPANY
or REV ORLEANS.

S7O7,T53 78
l0l,9g7 81
SsU9751G 81
S8O9,75l "a
S1l7,9l6 81
S69l,s34 Ct
S349752 70
900 0gI CO
New Orleans daily crescent. [volume] ([New Orleans, La.]) 1851-1866, 1858-11-05

The Company have the following assets, toyt:
Bills RcCeiyable-Stuck Notes ....... $50 $50 40
Premiums. 23992 81
Investment. ......... 23i,725 37-3lI,267 %
Cash on hand. ....-.,...........,;.. a,9tS 76
Due from Premiums in COURSE of collec-
tioll, lIhig 81
Less 10 per ll64 9J- TO- iS 81
The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1858-08-02
MATRIMONIAL.

WIDOW LADY or SETTLED AGE WOULD LIKE
10 form ne acquaintance Of genenan o. age
Nth vkw 70 mrimony. Address A. 9. O., boz ia Herald
The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1858-08-02
RAILROADS.

DnNHsvLvAnIA RkILRoAD.
The treat central rH,e 70 The west rrs ct Ie~st a.
ort and rates OF fare reigh; Low NJ uss ,s nv
spv other For ps cb on 70 contrsot ,or
vn rew yorh 70 any pon, IN the entire West sa al lao
paay's once No. Asor House. sew Worry " ~
J.. I. EIfIDYT. Pssseprsv Agent
rsv yonxIusea LN~GB CO.. rrkSsa sers
The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1858-08-02
VIEW PUBLICATIONS

rHE FrrEsr ILLUsrRAtED WORK Evss IsaU D.
The Life rr~vsis and Adventures N Ferinsrd so,
Dscoverer o. he sNsssppL 50 see and nFrasngs
bSl svo pages agent ssnted In Sew flrk 8,slo ~
nzios CITY Baltimore and 70 other city and soalv DOT
already engaged, " earvass Tor th'e ~ork
J. l.. LLOYD Pubushsr Phpa ieiphi1
The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1858-08-02
HII.LIARIM.

uULIARD 1kbIss or IMPROVED sfyIH Ann
40 made IN NE best mannes. u well r>si.ras ~,
ccrbri1s ,l tne sdvsnsys rbelss asest pacu t,yvu
unes few second band tahep chess
OCOkkOR A OOLisaNDBR kAnufac,nr.-r
- -. cS Ann street. New Sors.
pBrIAFs B1LLtARn TABLES hrp cowRrpAyros-
cuthouf sre fof eele 1uly nv iha undegalgr-d -.
en-ses sre eau ned sganst the ievsl srd s-hls, ,
anons maae OF cheap r0aicrsls with sh,ah he
$500 irt,y fbA AN inveui0r, 1as Rroad ~ y
VNVH'Vh sVVlLsrDks. warufso'uretn Sc srn strerA
The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1858-08-02
SALES OF REAL ESTATE.

rCoR rBE WET INpJhs-A HOUSE FOR SALE PEE
pared expressly for the West indies With ell the npr,ve
got Of sierals and ready 70 ship Plans
ption honss the Office OF e. H.
IACgeON. Architect 229 Broadway
The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1858-08-02

NATIONAL TEACHERS INSTITUTE, $50 BROAD.
N way Priucpals trustees and parents f,ly
a. npe,ent eac ersi.dies or gentemenr iibon de
expense Teachers wanted for the NORTH South Has and
Hice A ndrews Few York
The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1858-08-02

AM LIE DUCs q.ATE NILE A A. rLorROD
wi french tosroDR and dsv sch vol for young ladies' win
orsr on n Sept Apply for circulars At NINE 10
Dues "a ss Tyeny fhird strse opposi~ London iarraes
from IN Of august sef-rspces-sishop Potter Of Nav
Yorh; n. ". Typg % u Esv York a. Gillette u u /,
New York; job, A. Appleton. Esq re~ York, and many
OIL II
The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1858-08-02

AT B.-wBv Has rOr 5NskD OF rig CELIA
". brated Mstam. SsSSTEf ehs beer sprs4i1-s
thousands ~ this ard other cities 9Th
he e,rnisr chs hes l1s she tells o. nasae al
'uure wife bush sd .so b.i o. her n yos -si
ssib s-e her cal - gs Bn-ey oopis Riaenh
y~sia~ ssus ss-ne,en.s
The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1858-08-02
BOARDING AND LODGING.

4 PRIVATE FAMILY gKelDIN0 AT rs WEST TwaarY.
~ third street. Fifth avenue have two pAssaat
rooms which they would like let with board 70 fsaus or
% e.o or t~o gentlemen References exchanged
The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1858-08-02

nOUNrRy BOARD ron FAMILIES or srNsLs PR
SONS can be o.iped IN pesssn, iocsiior ye~y c,uys
neDt " Nc Sors and moderate rms ~ sddresnR
W. Barrett Cbspegda, westchester county, N. n ~ a.
H0fsea and carriages kept n required.
American Lancaster gazette. [volume] (Lancaster, Ohio) 1855-1860, 1858-07-01
GREAT DISCOVERY OF The AGE.
IMPORTANT TO
TOBACCO CHEW ERS!
DR.. GUSTAV LIENARD'S
TASTE RESTORATIVE TROCHES,
Tnr GKsAr sunarrrrrr rnn Tnn,crnt


1T Is well known and incontrovertable fact that
use Of Tobacco ht the promoting cause of many OF
the most aayere
MENTAL AND PHYSICAL pIsoRDERs
10 whel the race OF man 10 su Jsct careful anay
sis long and painful experience have clearly pro
Vep that u contains certain norcotic ana poisonous
properties most dlnRefuuB in their effects, which BIZ
enterine into the blood deranRt the functions aud
operations ofthe Heart causing mauy 10 suppose that
organ TO be soriousy diseased.
TOBACCO anectshlso the entire nervous system
n"nles''rE lSclt Who have ever usud the no \.
iaus weed nlil boar tpfUn0ny in Lnslltndc SOr.
vous rriahllity, Water Brash, Dyspepsia, mud many
other disorders OF Il similar character.
The TAslE RESTORATIVE TROCHES
ana have proved completely successful In altitude
IthemrelYesthcY exert beneficial eTort uIon t0
entire system, restoring the Tnste which has become
vliiated or dstrOye by great Indulgence completoy
remoN the Irritation and ACCOMPANYING tickling
sensation Of the Throat--which ara always conse,
anent upon absiainirS from the use or Tobacco and
nyenlng healthy tope 10 the Stomach, invigorao
the whole system.
Persons who are irrattievably undermining their
constitutions and shortening their lives should uso
these Iroehes Immediately and throw of the Injurious
ons aud unpleasant habit Tobacco Chewing.
These Troches or LogenResare put up In Il conve
neh ana portable form at the low price OF so COnts
per Box. liberal discount 10 the Trade.
Prepared aolely by the IsiEne to whom all or
ders should be addressed
JAMES p. BOWERS. Druggist,
Corner f9d and Race Streets, Philadeiplla
March q, Ia56--Iy47
American Lancaster gazette. [volume] (Lancaster, Ohio) 1855-1860, 1858-07-01

Tie cxrt spo, ofllie present eruption
i; a. the l5wsr base Of Il c great one, aud |
shontt-say about mi iway on thegAtrio del
CAvsllo. aud about 2 or FL miles from
American Lancaster gazette. [volume] (Lancaster, Ohio) 1855-1860, 1858-07-01

Natl,s 8. II " y night, My 81:
Fdiay morning, Quarter to I2. A. N
lopen this 10 s'y tue cru2lion continuts
to decrease. and new craters open Lour.
ty.
American Lancaster gazette. [volume] (Lancaster, Ohio) 1855-1860, 1858-07-01

.ckaags sefcwiad, ,wtjsh would .eeIlaiaJ
hove ipotlleIed -uS il an linslanI; ana .sl
We passed on ovsf the ln5gtd Iold ".
saw theserupIiona increasing msnlsntairlyl
IN one place tho Iowa aRasl rolling down lh;
valley i ap snofncss Larni1G nave .sp u
feetly ps;hhat 40 / eniy a few yapdsstipn
US. Snd- 1t our poist VI exit sc could g:
lille or HoJDom 70 pass: and, alt,,ough thi
eight was Que oil wsudcr mover expsetet
TO witness, yet Gs. .were obligsd-to.prsSs a
long snsflly toEouf departure tbIopga lls
Fiery gsteTwnsi-Nyhen-w arrive at thi
point of exit. not ten feet rensined be
tween ,Ls SIDE Of lie ror / andsthe, barn.
ing nsss OF TIM lava. Our guide. howev
.r, pressed on biisEly. aud i've pssse isIh'
ordeal, not without feeling. J nsusL -saS
lexcsssiselVe en:fe,a.bis lsonr the giea
heat and The near NJ pT6acL Of this .feslFn
turning mass, sud, llav ny pissed. We 81
Nsdyc as lhs ~1ndsrful sislt. now rapidly
inereasing, - IS s--.s
Tie guides do not seem to know exact
ly what 10 -msse OF rhs eIupliup.. They
al Sem TO agree tl:atit will incress,
greAtiy-psrhaps x.end all over the YAK
al the rate i. was going it woult
not re long coverirya vast diItriei. Fhett
has been no a h,w OF lava since 1885. an,
the upper mouut4ins has ben very que
for sumo time, and this new bow m " o
may not DO Extensive. The torrent Of Ia
va at one lins could no, b. less tl,an fvt
or six feet high, N | came ro,llng along a
the rate Of live or six feat in minute. apt
tie united stfeam Of rec matter could NO
be- nler'eight or tep yards wide. and thi
ran On like very rrp'd Iiiver. until it wa
imp.dTdty The oh hytslyiog on the sid,
OF the valley, ,t.
The cxort spo, OF tie present. eruptio,
i: a. the lJw.r base Of q G great one, aud
sionii-say about mi iway on the-Atrio de
Cavallo. aud about 2 or Fl miles froI
Hermitage, t --a -..es sf1- -ts --gls lst
We g1t al NaIIes TIL o'clock. and :
nmledialelg sat down to put on pape
wbotI sw. .s-
,Nspls. II " d y nigh, M'y 81:
F'ilay morning, Quarter to I2. A. b
| 1open this 10 s,y the eru}tioncontinuu
to Increase, and new craters open Lour
liy.
Ey Ho WHO whites Erong, wrcngs VIII
American Lancaster gazette. [volume] (Lancaster, Ohio) 1855-1860, 1858-07-01
LEATHER

EMBRAClNG SOlEiLEATHER,K KIP, CALFAND
MokOCo ski lNS.a ageneraiassortmen;o N; ofLININGS,
=. n, !, &s, Also, great variety Of SHOE.
-, nc above stock we are determnedto seliLorER
thancan behad elsewhere. Come everybody Give
us call and you will be sure to be ploased and And
thhtthe aboveiS no HUMBUG. In connection with
our goodsfrom abroad, We keep onstantly on hand
work or our own manufacture, which VIC warrant
asdo we all our goods, (good In every respect) Gus
tom WORK done TO order short notice and the bes
Pp7sIpie styIe' d. GlESY.
American Lancaster gazette. [volume] (Lancaster, Ohio) 1855-1860, 1858-07-01

Eg He wLo wiites ErOng, wrongs wha
is u slh -t-
Smyrna times., 1858-02-11

every day, see inflated gas.bags lounglng on
the corners and in the stores letting of their
superfiuons combustible, thereby "heading OF
the horrible catastrophe of "splitting right
wide open"! as DIR. B. Brown Williams said,
who, by the way, was the greatest manufacturer
of the article that has ever honored our town.
Perhaps you may think / am gassy, too; well'
what if am don't I live in free country
and have not the right to expend as much OF
what is my OUn as please. so that hurt no
bodyl Yes, thanks be to fortune, General
Washington, aud the Continental Congress, we
live in free country. I 60 in for free speech,
free fights, free press and free everything, ex-
cept free negroes and free IOue,-which last
two are the denominations of my existence
Free negroes very seriously offend my olfacto-
ries, especially in warm weather, and free love
outrages all my ideas of conlugal felicity
and anything that interieres with that, inter-
feres with me, for I am a candidate for matr.
mony q hope the gentlemen won't all speak at
once y and mean to get married too, just as
soon as | possibly can, and perhaps sooner, if
the right ono should happen TO "pOp the ques-
ton" Nor am alone,-my experience and
observation teach me that that is the consum-
nation most devoutly wished by all, save few
sour old maids and crusly old bachelors. Pray.
what do you suppose old bachelors were made
for My deliberate opinion is. they are Of no
possible use on earth are an unhappy, uneasy,
good nothing race of drones that ought 10
be exterminated and if they we're, I'm right
sure nobody would cry, but rather exult. ! 60
in for p.ohibitory lava law prohibiting
male celibacy, law to punish capitally for
men being unmarried after thirty-five years.
As for spinsters. or old maids as they are call
ed, they are of especial use, and there ought to
be several an every community. for, without
them gossip would cease, the tea trade would
languish, and Mysteries would go out of fashion.
Well: have not written the essay yet, and
for fear of weaiyng you, must put it off until
a more convenient season, we'll aware that, by
so deing, am dePTvpg you of a rare intelec-
tual feast and that ! lose an opportunity of let
ting off more gas. 1J~l 1-t
:.,.t. Affectionately yours,
Smyrna, Jan. 5, 1858. Nancy ANN.
Smyrna times., 1858-02-11
Miscellaneous Artiicles.
Smyrna, Jan. 5, 1858. f'

Too FAR GONE TO BE SAvED.-Our trail
sister. Mexicp,.is is literally dOctored to death.--
Too many cooks are spelling the broth. The
quack doctors are killing her with their nos
trums,-beforc Uncle Sam is ready TO hold his
coroner's inquest on her remains. No fewer
than six different "plans" are put forth to
" save" her. by as many revolutionary juntas.
ComOnfort has one prescription, and Santa
Anna another. Col. Vidarr, who keeps his
drug shop on the Rio Grande, has a third, and
Senor Michael Pima, comma nder- in chief of the
Citadel, in the Capital, "a dealer in gunpowder
and cast.irdn pills. has fourth And, as if
these were not enough to "kill or cure," we
have Pronunciamento " or " "plan," from one
Senor VIcario, mt Cuernavaca,-and another
from an old friend, Gen. Echeagaray.wh hangs
out his sign now at Puebla. Each Of these
quacks purposes to ave the country,on his own,
responsibility. if the people would but trust
him. But as Z" no trust" is the word now in
Mexico, we may expect TO see these practi.
TONERS severaIly carrying. on a desultory and
wasting war, each to accomplish his own sell
fish ends, until such times as they eat one
another up,--or die of their own medicine, -
and thus clear the way for Brother Jonathan, ss'
General Surrogate or PUBLIC Administrator, on
this Continent, TO administer upon the "sick
man'st effects.--N. Y. Express. s'ooacr