The Council Bluffs nonpareil. [volume] (Council Bluffs [Iowa]) 1857-1867, 1858-09-25

pealed, aud in their stead, provision should
be made to secure the comfortable treatment
of the slave La ~.- .-... 80, s-.... D.
do not wish to be understood rs advo-
eating the introduction Of more Africans in
to our State. As mere question Of expe-
diency, would not have another. F..
-.. A CHARLESToNIAN.
From the New Orleans True Delta.
"a SHOCKING BAD HAT"
Young Sminkey has way of staying
round old Bilious place of business, which
the latter does not like so well, as if it was
an arrangement made by himself-for it
was not, but by young Sminkey, solely for
his own pleasure and benefit. Old Bilious
has the misfortune to be n gay and humor-
Gus gentleman, fat and middle-aged, as mcr-
ry as lark. fond of his friends and some-
thing cheering several times day. In an
evil hour, for the elder, young Smiukey-
and all his misfortune it is to have just a
sufficient income to keep him without work,
providing he sponges for his personal ex-
penses, such as juleps and cigars, and he is
remarkably accomplished sponge for his
years--in an evil hour for old Bilious young
Sminkey made his acquaintance, an ac-
quaintance he devoted his attention to keep
ing up with vigor, if he might do SO by
sticking to old Bilious as pertinaciously
and Extensively as the Old Man of the Sea
did to certain veridcious narrator known
in oriental romance as Captain Sinbad, the
famous navigator. Old Bilious was Of too
kindly, or perhaps cowardly disposition to
tell Sminkey that he could hoe his own row, !,
Or paddle his own canoe of life without that
young gcntleman's assistance, for he could
not bear to hurt his feelings, assuming that
he had feelings from judging human nature
by his own, and Sminkey knew very well
that he need not fear any such repulse from
his victim, and so he stuck to him Implying
ly; morning, noon and night lolled, sat and
stood around his usurped quarters, thrust
ing himself under the noses of every one
who came in, and forcing an Introduction,
adding valuable acquantances to his list by
this unwilling endorsement of old Bilious:
always in hearing of a proposal to stake
something" and yard arming his suffering
pasron whenever he walked abroad. To
GOODNESS and hints that his room was cons.d-
erably preferable>to his company, young
Sminkey was heroically Indifferent, and old
Bilious concluded that he must either play
some bitter practical joke or be sadLlcd BY
the bore for an indefinite period
i Yesterday moring an inspiration struck
old Bilious and caused his heart to beat
high with hope that it would prove sue
cessful expedlent. He is weather wise, and
orrly in tie dnr ho enw unfniling lndicatfons
that there would be a sharp shower, but,
if there was not, Il shower amy day, so that
| it was near at hand, would answer his end.
Among his grocery stock was some partica-
larly vicious red pepper-the regular red
lightning brand-which would bring tears
to anybody's eyes near enough too see it
with Il spy-glass; with the naked eye nobody
could look at it for 4 moment. With his
fat gills chuckling and his jolly sides sha-
king, Mr.. Bilious slyly deposited about an
ounce of this highly infamma,ory substance
under the front of the broad band which en-
circled an extra hat of thin, open straw that
was hanging up in his counting room. and
after winking at his puzzled book keeper
who was watching this operation, he fell
interrupted by the first appearance for the
day of the inevitable young Sminkev. After
some conversation in which Mr.. Bilious
tious, that amiable gentleman said: s'By
it to M.'s store and back 90
I
Sminkey. 49, .----- ...> .
, 'Flve!' exclaimed Mr.. Bilious, Sit is fur
ther than that
oh, no; bet that can walk it in less
than ive,' declared Sminkey.
Some, Iii bet you ten dollars you can't
walk it in ten minutes with your hands in
your pockets.'
'Done!' replied sporting Sminkey, who
hal g., - IL
FIVE minutes walk. sDone can walk
nearly as fast with my hands in my pockets
as any way
'lf you take 'em out your pockets, you
know you lose the bet, and you are to start
when tell and young Sminkey, delighted
with his soft bet, .said ''agreed" to these
conditions, as he covered old Bilious X
with bank rag Of the same amount. Old
Bilious Immediately begun to take great
interest in the weather. He stood at the
door and watched the gathering clouds with
anxiety, and Sminkey, divining what he was
up to said-'Oh, you are waiting for n
shower, are yous You want to send me in
the rain, eh! Well, don't mind that old
feller-these clothes have been out in ashow er
before now' Cute Sminkey! Couldn't
catch HIM knappipg! Old Bilious affected
to look desponuenI; rs if he saw the last Of
his X. Shortly after the old fellow took
occasion 10 slip into two or three Of the
neiyhhoring e,oroo, and tell his fricndc mys-
teriously thatif a smart shower should come
up, they must certainly look toward his
place OF business aud see the fun. In due
time that tremendous shower of yesterday,
that Hooded the streets, came on, and old
Bilious told Sminkey that his time had
come--to start out and win the bet, if he
wanted it, and the unfortunate young man
gaily prepared to 60 forth into the storm
with his hands in his pockets. lie had made
up his mind to the ducking; which he con-
sidered cheap at SlO. The rain will ruin
tha that of yours said old Bilious, bcnevo-
| y, q shall via, for you can't walk it in ten
with your hands in your pockets; and you
may wear that old straw hat of mine, hang
ing up there, if you wish. And you had
better tie the string under your chm, for it
might blow oHand you wouldn't want to take
your hands out OF your pockets to put, it on
again, continued old Bilious, while he kind
! y busted himself to assist Sminkey in tying
, the hat on his head. - .'-s. >. -. : =
Miserable Sminke key | he did not scorn any
advantage; the fateiul hat was on his head
in a moment, his hands in his pockets, and
he walked out, having first mark ed the time.
lie could not carry an umbrella, Of course,
with his hands in his pockets. Old Bilious
seized an umbrella to follow and see, ns he
said aloud, that young Sminkey didn't take
his hands out Of his pockets hut whispered
to half a, dozen friends to scome alon. and
| see the fun, md though they couldn't i'm
agine what it would be such as had para
pluics followed. Young Sminkey had not
accomplished more. thun half q square boz
fore be was seen BY the party behind to
shake has head violently. Watch him !
Watch himi exclaimed old Bilious IN 4
paroxysm of delight. watch him, 4 tell
youlta Watch him!' continued old Bilious
rs the victim made frantic Efforts 70 wipe
his eyes on his shoulders and forcarms,
withouttaking his hands from his pockets
a small luxury worth juststen do)asas--
..Watch, h'in wa ateh: :hin!--hess hilnls Now
ho opensP amost ,shonied the triumphant
Bilious As young Smintey besanto PertorH