The Cass County Republican. [volume] (Dowagiac, Mich.) 18??-1880, 1858-11-18

corner, with the dlgnlfled statellness
which usually characterized him, nor
did he reach it as quickly as might
have been expected for, like vessel
beating to windward, he tackled several
times, running from curbstone to curb
stone, and more than once being seri-
ously in danger of wrecking himself
in the gutter. AT length he was happy
enough to make port and drop anchor
upon his own doorstep.
Truth compels us to admit, however
reluctantly, thatJ edediah Brown was
drunk
As he sat upon the lower step, his
head sank upon his bosom, his badly
damaged hat crowded down over his
brows, his neck-cloth askew, with the
knot in position under his left ear,
rather suggestive of murderer's fate,
and his entire outward appearance in
dicative of an utter regardlessness as
to his personal aspect, or anything else
pertaining to this terrestrial sphere, a
moral reform lecturer would have gone
into ectacies at the thought of possess
ing such subject to exhibit before an
appreciative audience as an unique
specimen of total depravity.
Whether Mr.. Jedediah Brown, at
that precise moment, had realizing
sense of his true condition, it is uncer-
tain. The air was keenly cold, and it
may have been that which moved him.
Certain it is, that he appeared at length
to come to the conclusion that justice
to his own self demanded that he should
find some more attractive quarters.
Accordingly, he assumed as erect an
attitude as possible, and, by a marvel
lous stroke of good fortune, succeeded
in reaching and grasping the door
knob.
Then, from his pocket, he produced
a latch key, and set about effecting an
entrance.
To form a determination to do a
thing, and to effect the "consummation
devoutly to be Wished" are too distinct
affairs. So Jedediah Brown discov-
cred on this occasion.
The door was large, and the key-hole
was small; the night withal, was not
one of the lightest.
"This is singular thing" muttered
Jedediah, in a very thick tone of voice,
and with exceedingly long intervals
between. some of the words; "this is
q dreadful singular thing. l think,
really do think, that on the whole, it's
about the most singular thing that ever
| knew, where the key-hole has gone
and hid itself. l know / left it here
when / went away, Pm sure I did
and now where is it ?"
He ceased from his endeavors to find
the missing orifce for a few moments,
as if the last sentence ne uttered had
awakened weighty thoughts in his
mind. Then he made another futile
attempt to discover it.
"It's gone sure," he said "the key
hole amt there. Perhaps somebody's
stole tit was brass key-hole, and
somebody may have took it for gold,
and stole it. Or else," he muttered,
as faint idea of a wrong perpetrated
against him on the part of his wife
crossed his confused mind, cor else
she's took it inside with her to keep nc
out shouldn't wonder at ALL"
Concluding to make one more effort
he this time succeeded in finding what
he had searched for SO long.
"Well, well!'' he muttered, "this is
a go; the key-hole was there all the
while. Jedediah Brown, if you wasn't
such respectable person as / know
you to be, / should be tempted to say
you were drunk!''
He entered, and after stumbling over
hall table, and oversetting the hat
stand, he managed to grasp hold of
the stair bannisters. Then, with
fresh exertion, he gained the parlor
door. 7
The fire was still burning brightly in
the CRATE, and Jedediah Brown thought
it flickered up reproachfully as he ad-
vanced into the room. So he turned
his back to the blaze, and steadied
himself with chair back.
Happening to raise his eyes, he was
astonished to behold the figure of a
man at the further extremity of the
apartment. The thought of thieves at
once entered his mind.
"Who're you p he inquired sternly.
The mysterious person preserved a
profound silence.
=" Who're you, / say ?" cried Jede-
diah, in louder tone.
Still the importuned said not word.
Now, look here" you vill'nous,
!hieyingg, ;iiggi,y-lookE.g scoun'rel, if you
don't answer my question I'll sacrifice
you, / will. Do you hear? What
business have you in my house, at this
time O. the night?''
As the last inquiry elected no reply,
Jedediah, moved by his rising passion,
moved without further expostulation,
seized footstool, and employing all
his strength in the effort, he threw it
at the head of the fancied burglar.
The tremendous crash of broken
glass which followed, awakened the
deluded man to the important fact that
he had shivered into fragments his
wife's costliest mirror, and that the
imaginary thief was simply its refec-
tion of himself.
Before he had time, however, to
make many reflections upon the matter,
he was startled by the cry of eThieves /
Murder! Police!' and variety of
other frantic screan,s In tho cbr;ll voice