Mineral Point tribune. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1854-1858, 1858-02-02
VARIETIES.

ApvANrvGE OF PRINTIyG.-Mr-a n well
known metropolitan printer, once told us that
Oh one occasion. an old woman from the country
came into his printing office with an old Bible
in her hand
q want" said she, " that you should print it
over again. It's gettin lecte blurred, sort O,
and my eyes isn't wat they was How much
DO you AK ?"
Fifty cents"
Can you have it done in half an hour wish
you would; want to be .y-ttin' home live good
ways out of town"
When the old lady went out, he sent round to
the office of the American Bible Society and
purchased copy tor fifty cents.
Lor Sal5es massy :" exclaimed the old
lady, when she came TO look at it, sc how good
you We fixed tits en'a most as good as new ,
I never see anythin' so curious as that printin'
IS .'-Er.
LETTING THE Car OUT.-A young beauty be-
held one evening two. horses running of. at To-
connective speed, with a light carriage rs they
approached, she was honified at recognising, in
the occupants of the vehicle, two. young
gentlemen Of her acquaintance. BOYS
boys = she screamed, in terrier, Jump out
quicIl-jump out-especially FRANK y
sTy- The following story is told by the Mo-
bile Tribune, of Judge Hawkins the represen-
tive TO Congress from the State of Florida a
man by the way brimful of genuine wit Dur
ing the war with the Florida Indians, be COM
manded a volunteer company. On one occasion
they fell upon a party of the enemy concealed
in n swamp. The Captain sprang upon log.
with more valor than discretion,) waived his
sword and cheered his men to the charge
Just then he shot down.
One of his officers ran up to h:m to ask him
if he was badly hurt.
Not very badly" said Hawkins, lust
enough to send me to Congress-"
The prediction verified.
\ young Miss in Manchester, while
skating the other day, broke through the ice
into twelve feet of water. Her hooped skirt
made wide ring the ice, aud buoyed her up
until she was rescued. While in this midwater
predicanent the fair skater must have been cold
IN the extreme.
- An Irish gentleman lately fought duel
with his intimate friend, becaue he jocosely as
serted that he was born without shirt to his
back
IS \ lady in Philadelphia, 1t is said makes
her pies so light that her loders can see to 90 to
bed without candle, after eating moderate
sized piece.
IS The world makes US takers, but solitude
makes Us thinkers.
sE- Neither believe rashly, nor reject obstin-
ately.
rs Old gentleman, (affectionately.) My
son. why do you chew that filthy tobacco ,
Precoeious YOUTH sttfly.) ito get the juice out
Of it, old codgcr.
WHAT Is DANBRoAD.-A Scotch lady entered
a store in Boston and inquired for a table cloth
ofa dIu15road pattern. we have some pretty
broad was reply of the astonished salesman
but none quite SO broad as that" The lady
explained Tia. dambroad was the Scotch term
for chequered pattern"
NICARAGUA GLoE- DoEs NOT PAY.-Tunis c
Tarrour, a composition in the Cincinnati Enquir-
er Office, was at one time flhbuster Walker
IS Secretary OF State"-the highest office of the
8" cabinet.
IS Nobody can stand in awe of himself toe
much.
cz-An is sugar to the vain--e7en the praise
fools.