St. Mary's beacon., 1858-05-27
Sketches Of the Departments.

"OficiGl Characters Its one thing to make
laws. and quite another 10 properly understand
and interpret them. Legislators are by no
means t" lie intr;isted with the application of
their own rules Of government; :hey are like
architects who may plan srpcrStructure. but
cannot lay the stone or spread the mortar. 1t
becomes necessary. then, tia: the laws should
be handed over II Judges anl attorneys Even
Uncle sam, with all his wealth ami power,
never feels easy unless Judge NonSUit is near
by with his wise look and green Jag. In ike
manner DO all the heads seek tie shadow of
lis lcgai wing when kuotty points turn up in
their business, about which they either can't
or won't bother their brains.
Thus surrounded by constantly accumu-
hitting mass Of Snarls and tanEies. one would
almost suspect Nomsuit of imhibng their na-
turc butt bless You, on the contrary. he's all
alniablc man. If Secretary Passport hears Of
Uutragcs on our flag, and, being il vcry peacea-
b!c and conservative old gentleman, desires tie
opinion Uf Nonsuit as to whethc- British
cruisers have a right on principles Of internal
tipnal law, t. amusc themselves and keep up
practice by blazing away indiscri!ninatcly at
american vesScls-if Secretary Passport wish
e 10 lie certain Oh this point before going 81
far as TO send tircc-gTu schooner t. protect
0ur commercc-wny, Of course Noasuit, with
ont grumLliug gIanccs at the books, and in
forms Passport what it's safe to do. Passport
acts accordingly.
so. you perceive, Nonsuit is r?ost indis-
pcnsable official-a ministerial sine qua non
His duties are without number, and require
the clear insight and unceaSng diligence by
which he is 50 eminently characterized. Each
heal has his allotted functions bat Nuus;sit
is ubiquitous. He must see that MonevbagS
is not too lavish in greasing the wheels Of
Government; that Lettcr-hags legally dcs-
patches the RATIONAL correspondence; tl.at
BAstion and Liyr-Oak legally finish up Gus
enemies; that l'roadacre legally distributes
Unce Sans patrimonial domains; and that
Passport legally keeps all sister nations in awe
Of .America's regal bird, our stars and stripuA'
our 'gioIiJus institutions and our &c, &C.,
&c.
Just think Of the legal lore packed away
in Nonsuit's craniUm , \ small boy, Of u
covctous disposition. once saw a toper's nose
bearing ruby fruits after being stimulated for
more than twenty years. 'Crackey, said the
small boy, don't wish had the money what
it took to color that ere fcllcr's hose Even
50 do fervcntly cXclainl, when contemplating
Nonsuit with respectful admiration, Would
possess the calves that were slaughtered to
cover the books that have been studied by tha:
great man. "
Il sometimes think | should like to be in
Non>ri;'S place, and then, az lin, | am truly
appalled, "a think of the iutricacies and diff
culties of his positiol,-compelIcd to be ever
primcd. ready 10 shoot of an opinion at the
shortest notice to have Monevbags franticallv
clni2;ng to him, impluring him with honest
tears to decide and rescue the treasury from
a gigantic claim to have Passport at his el-
bows, swelling with indignation, and wanting to
know whether the Prince Of Kamschatka had
a right to impriSon one John Smith. a Yankee
peddlcr, for selling brass earrings to the
Princes wife 10 have Lettcrbags at the same
time Shricking for his opinion as to the In
bity of a railroad company whose cars have
been smashed, by which one small inail-!,ag
was actually lost, and fifty-six passengers kill
cd. No, ] never could endure these trials ::
/ should rather be the humble individual that
| am.
''Bnt what am | saying about myself?
ana not NOnsHtt, for he is equal to the mighty
taSk-whether counselling Cabinet Ministers
or annihilating some contemptible little attor-
ney ambitious of legal triumphs in the Su-
premc Court.
You have heard Nonsuit argue? Fine
language, sound reasoning, n dignifed manner,
has he. His voice will strike YOU: it has
convincing ring. He reminds me of the great
English writer on laws, and. as ! appreciate
Nonsoit, 81 do | like Black stone. Having
pcrpctrated this miserable pun at the expense
of two great lawyers, | retire in shame and
humiliation"