The Wyandot pioneer. (Upper Sandusky, Ohio) 1853-1868, 1858-07-09

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AS there are good many aspiranis for
Uongression al lonors in this district just
now, many ofwhom we know are not
capable Of getting upa very good speech,
we have concluded to publishione which
the successful candidates for nomination
in both parties are at liberty TO adopt as
their own We bad thought Preserving
it for our own use, but as we have con-
cluded to resist all attempts 81 our friends
to force us into position 50 degrading as
that of being member Of the lower house
Of Congress. we give it for the benefit Of
those. who may feel like making the sec-
sifice. Here It is: ~ :
~ FELLkR CITIZENS AND HossEs. This
is day for the poperlation Of this Des-
trick, like bob-taied chicken on a rick
city hen roost, to be lookin' up. A crisis
have arriven and some things bust!-
Whar are we? Here | is and I'd stand
here and expirate from now till the day
Of Synagogues, il you'd whoop for me.
Feller cilizens--J erusalem's to pay an
we han't got any pitch. Our byperbol-
ical and majestic canal Of creation has
unshipped her rudder, and the captains
broke his neck, and the cooks div down
to the depths Of the vastly deep In search
of dimunsl Our wgwam's torn to pie
ces like shirt on bush fence, cities of
these ere latitudes is vanishing in blue
flame. Are such things to be did! ! ask
you in the name Of the American Eagle,
who was whipped by the shaggy headed
lion, and now sets on the magnet tele-
graph, if such doings is going to be con-
glomerated? | repeat to you in the name
Of the peacock Of liberty, when he's flown
over the cloud capped SUBMITS of the
Rocky Mountains, is we going to be ex-
temporaneously biggogged in this fash
ion? .i.sf-s
8o ta ooh, answer me;
Let me not blush in ignorance"
As Shakespeel says. Shall we be BAN
boozefed with such unmitigated uncon-
ciousness? Melhinks hear you yelp--
mo sirhosshy!' Then 'lect me 10 Congris
and thar will be revolution sartin.
Feller citizens:--If | was standing on
the adamantine throne Of Jupiter, and the
.lightnia' was f1ashin' round me, I'd con-
,inue to spout Pm full Of boilin' hot lath-
er Of M cunt Etny, and l won't be quench'
ed! I've sprung leak, and must howl
like bear with sore head. Flop to-
gethcr-- Jump into ranks and bear me
thru. i..s.
Feller t'itizens:- You know me, and
rub me out with mill 6 rb if / won't
stick to ye like brick dust to bar of soap.
Whar'u my opponent? He's no whar! l
was brought up among ye, feller citizens,
and papped in scbool-house, but they
can't git round me with their highfalutin
big words. Hictum, strictum. albranto,
catnip, Brazel, Englooney and Bufiiu's
Bao--b 10000! What do you think Of
that? 'H74
"Go it porker--root hog or die"
as Shakespeel said when Caesar stabbed
him in the House of Representatives.
Feller Citizens:--'Lect me to Congris,
and I'll abolish mad dogs, muskeeters,
bad cents and bad whisky, and go in for
the annihitation ofniggers, campmeetings
and jails. ri repudiate crow and fustig-
den hawk. I'll have porher playing eve
ry day. Sunday excepted, and liquor
enough to swim in. Yes, Teller citizens,
'lcct me to Congris and shall be led to
exclaim in the sublime, the terrific Ian.
guage Of Bonaparte, when preaching in
the wilderness '.a'
Orchards himself again" "
"On, then, onward to the polls-gal-
lop space, fiery footed steed," and make
the welkin tremble with anti spasmodic
|yells for me. Ta4z la i4&af' y
Hence,ye brute broad axe and glory.
| firit 3 trl5 81
| Championship of England.
On the sixteenth Of June Tom Savers
fought and beat Paddock, near London
forthe championship Of the ring. The
fght lasted an hour and thirty five min.