Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1858-12-18
FREE LOVERS.

The sect of the order, or rather of the disor-
der, of Mrs Branch are fair subjects of ridicule,
il not of legal prosecution. The denunciations
OF the press and clergy are certainly not amss,
but we have seen nothing that shows up the abb
surditv and utter Righteousness of free love
pretemsions half so well as heterographic let
ter in the Cleveland Plain Dealer, purporting
to be written by an itenefant Snowman, who
called one day upon the communist of Berlin
Heights. Here is an extract which gives the
pith Of the epistle;-
"llear am ut Berlin IIites amung the Free
Lovers. ] arrovc hear last Toosday & bitterly
doc cuss the Day ever sot foot ii this reich
ed plase hearn tell of these Free l.uvirs for
sum time & thawt idc cum and see what kind
of kritters they WAS. pitcht my tent in field
near the Luv Kure, as they kali it * unfoldid
my bannir to the Breeze. Bimeby the peple
kommenced fur TO pour into my show x be-
gun for to kongratterlate myself on doing
stavin dismiss. But they were ornery looking
set i must say. The mems fascs was all kuver-
ed with halr x tney looked 1aIr ,ca 80 d~.l..
The wimmin was wus nor the men. They were
trowSis short gownds and straw hats with fadid
green ribbins onto them, 4 they all kerrid bloc
kotton umbrellers in their hands. Bimeby a
perfeckly orful lookin female presentid herself
to the dore. Her gownd was skanderlusly short
& her trowcs was shameful to behold. Sez she
Ar. kind it be? YES, It's troo, o It's troo = See
i, 'lj sents, marm. Sez she, * so i've found
WI at larst--at larst, q at larst" Sez |, ives WI
has found me at larst & you wood hav found
IN at fuSt if WI had cum sooner Sez she,
Air WI man?' Sec i, i think air, but if you
dowt it WI may address Mrs A. Ward, Baldins-
vile, Injianny, postige pade, she will dowtliss
Civ you the required inturmashun.' Sez she,
then yu air what the wurld cawls marrid p |
sed, yes marin air. The eksentic female then
grabd me by the arm & SEE she in wild voise,
you air mine, o w air mine" 'Scacely,' sez
as released myself frum her iun grasp. She
aganc clutched me by the arm < sed, 'yu air my
afiinelfy Sez i, what upon arth is that y
'Dost thow not know?' sez she. NO marin,
sez i, i dostunt.' Sez She Listen, man, & lie
tell ye. Fur years ive yearned for thee.
knowd thow vast in the wurld sumwhares altho
knowd not thy name or pase of residunce.-
Ny hart sed he wood cum X took currige. He
has cum-he is hear-yu air him-yu air my
affinity, o It's two mutch-two mulch" & she
bust out q erwin. 'Yes, scz i, 4 think 1t Is q
darn site two mutch' Hast thou not yearned
fur me she yciieu. rngn her hands like fe-
mailo play actor. Sez i, mot yearn. Ri this
time CRATE krowd of free lovirs had kollectid
around u.s. & they all kommenscd fur to holler
shame brute beast etsettery, etsettery.
was jest as mad as a Martch hair. See i, 'yu
pack of ornery critters go way frum me g. talk
this retchid woomun along with yu. My naim
is Artemus Ward and ime in the show bisnis
pay my bills & mind my own fairs. line a
married man & my chidrun all look like me if
am a Snowman. l don't go in fur settin the
laws of my country at defiance. l aint in favur
of privatearin or nothin else illegal. l think
yure affincrty dismiss is cussed nonsense besides
bein outrajusly wicked. Ipored 4th my indig-
when i stopt. l took down my tent g. shall
leeve town this evenn." A. WARD.