The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1858-05-13
TIL TACTIC
Commercial Advertiser.


OUlfI1liC1C ldl AutcrIlScTs
rahrs.sA-rsni.s 49,. Processes.
which We do not progress. One Of the things We need
- new professions to suit the emergencies which arise
For example. among the higher profession we have
only three-Lav, Medicine. and Divinity-but it is
quIse evidentfhat these are not the only professions
non. which men of learning and experience ought to be
feid.Ihe Louisiana Courier. suggests that there
should be q profession Of Truth-telling. This profes-
sion should not be merely for the purpose of telling
Gat seynet ruth, or even in common conversation; but
sinnply ss . business. For example, in love, politics,
hw and merchandise, there is an immense amount OF
ng done for gain In these cases the profession OF
: ,rnth-telling might save the deceived parties much
To illustrate more fully the advantages of this new
; profession, let us imagine il already initiated and q
hrm already established, who offer advice for stated
ICES on every matter Of business, taste, or affection.
We viii suppose that Messrs. Keen, Short & Blunt,
; three middle-aged gentlemen, of varied experience,
have opened an Office on Canal street, offering to hear
statements and to render advice to all parties apply
inS to them in good faith. They have their rooms of
audience and examination, their clerks to record facts
- detailed, and examiners to inquire elsewhere to as
certain the veracity Of statements, re CRYING to the
members Of the firm the duty of rendering written
AMI formal opinions upon the cases presented.
Early in the morning enters Mrs. Heartease, q
young widow Of twenfy-three, whose husband has
been dead two years, and who has recently received
- OucH " marriage from Mr. Z lOur1S0 llcnumOug.
She opens her heart to her business confdants, tells
how she admires Mr.. McHumbug, how scanty the
funds are that were left by her hate dear Heartease,
what y nice and amiable man her new sutton is, how
fond her little curly-headed daughter is of him, and
how happy she expects they will all be when Mr.. Nc
Humhug comes TO live with them Keen, Short &
Blunt listen for an hour or two TO her story, and learn
more about McHumbug 3 character and purposes than
the sweet widow could learn in forty years, tell her
that they viii take the matter under ad~visement,
and send her away. The next day they send her the
bin 49,
70 Keen. short s Blunt, Dr..
one and : hif ditto Consultation Is
sss
The bog Who presents the bill gives AIRS. H. a note
lows: ~
ssDKAR MApAx We have come to the conclusion
that you are deceived We are satisfied that Mr.. Me-
Hnnhag b . knase, and entertains no regard for
constrained to say thar you are a very silly young
woman to have anything to do with him. Yours,
truly, KEEN, SHORT & BLUyT.
rsTSeszg s Confidential Counsellors."
script He timidly salutes Mr.. Blunt, and tells him
he was about to send his manuscript to an editor for
publication, but had concluded to consult their firm
before venturing to do 50. He hands his production
consulting his library very frequently. At last he
looks mp over his spectacles and asks Have you
leen dollars about you - and having received his fee
he proceeds " Young man, you come hereto be told
the truth You have shown me a parcel of stuff
whiin you say you intend to publish. 1t is my can
did opinion that you had better put it in the fire.
Your command Of language is none of the best: your
choice Of topics is injudicious; your classical illusions
He ll-timed; your style is strained; your efforts at
humor are mere shams, and you have not learned to
confne your illusions within anything like a reasona-
bic compass Remember, sir. | mean no offence, but
you have paid me for telling you the truth, and l
lo-u 80 ill cir ~ arf NM - o.onrIsnOlv -
The young aspirant departs without his ten dollars,
bat q wiser il a sadder man.
Next comes . man who thinks he has a good law
hi1ca on his neighbor, and desires to consult Keen,
Short s Blunt rs to the ~proPriety Of commencing
lsgzi proceedingA He explains the case and shows
their how he hopes to win They listen patiently.
but admonish him from time to time to speak the
truth If he wants a truthful opinion. He concludes
bic application, pays twenty dollars, and receives
houI Blunt the following opinion
"DRAH Sn We have carefully considered your
case. Your design is TO swindle your neighbor. We
think = smart lawyer would enable you to succeed.
yet you win be foolish in prosecuting the attempt.
60 home, invite your neighbor to dinner, give up the
paper you hold against him, and never again think
Of rubbing him of what is Justly his because you have
an apparent legal right on your side. Hoping for
further patronage frcm you, We remain your obedient
servants, KEEN, Short & BLrSr."
An hour Afterwards an application is made by
young Highksiutin Sonorous, . politician in embryo,
Who desires To take advice ON the propriety Of his ac- =
oeptng an Office that has been rendered to him by his
DArty. He goes over the matter with as much truth
hlnssss as repeated hints from the ccunsellors can
and is dismissed to the parlor while the
member of the firm consult In a few minutes q
servant asks Mr.. Sonorous for twenty dollars, which
being paid, he presents the following note
"DEAR R--Yo have been educated for business
NJ some expense. Your father evidently designed
you for a practical business man. You have talent,
il has been somewhat dissipated. But we are
in obedience to our professional duty, to
- that vo, uff ruin vnnruo1f ~ rox, orobn Il N pol;