The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1858-07-27
wANTED-A MINISTER,

we have been without Pastor.
Some eighteen months or more.
And though candidates are plenty %
We've heard.at least a score,
All of them "tip top preachers,
Or so their litters run
And yet we can't exactly hit
Upon proper mani
The first who came arIiounc Us. s < ~
BY no means was the worst,
But then we did't think Of him
because he pas the first:
II being quito tho custom,
To sacrifice few
Pefofe the church i'm earnest
Determines what to do
here was smart young fellow,
win serious, earnest way,
Who but for one great blunder
Had surely won tho day;
Who left so good impression,
On Monday one or two
Went round among the people,
To SEQ ifho would do.
The pious, godly portion
Had not fault to find;
Ills clear and searching preaching
They thought the very kind
And all went smooth and pleasant,
Until they heard the views
OF some influential sinners;
Who rent the highest pews.
On these. his pungent dealing
Made but sorry hit;
The cost of gospel teaching
Was quite too tight fit;
Of course his fate was settled,
Attend, ye Parsons all!
And preach to please the sinners,
Ifyou would geta CALI
Next came spruce young dandy
Who wore his hair too long;
Anolher's coat was shabby,
And his voice not over strong;
And one New Haven student
Was worse thnn all Of those.
we couldn't hear the sermon,
For thinning cf MS nose.
Then worrying ofcandidatcs,
We looked the country through,
'hlId doctors and professors
To find one that would do,
And after much discussion
On who should bear the ark,
With folerable agreement,
We fixed on DIR. Parke.
Here then we thought il settled,
But were amazed 10 find
Our ilattcring invitation
hespecuully declined,
We turned to DR. Hopkins
To hclp US in the urch
Who strangely thought that CoIlc1c
Had claims above ''our church,
Next Q dispatched committees.
By twos aud thrccs, 10 urge
The labors Of sabbath
OF the Rev Shallow Splurre.
lie came--a marked sensation,
Followed the creaking of his boots
As he passed up the aisle.
His tones were So affecting:
His gestures So divine.
lady fainted III the hymn,
Before the second line.
And on that day he gave us.
In accents clear snl loud,
Inc greatest prayer was e'er addressed
To an enlightened crowd.
lie preached double sermon.
And gave Us angels food.
OF such y lovely topic,
The joys orsoitude."
Al! full Of sweet descriptions
vi flowers and pearly streams.
vi warhiing birds ard moon-lit groves,
And golden sunset beams.
OF fait and true repentance,
TIC iN.hihg mad 10 say;
lie rounded all the corners,
And .moothcd the rugged way;
Manage with great adroitncss,
To tcrtuin and please,
And s'4Yc the sinners nscience
Conn Ic;eiy at its ease.
Six hundred is the salary
We gave IN iOrmcr days,
We thought it very liberal,
And found il hard to raise;
But when we took the pnncr,
We had no need to urge
To raise n cool two Thousand
For the Rev. Shallow Splurge.
In vain were all our efforts.
We had no chance nj all,
We found ten city churches
Had given him call;
And he IN prayerful waiting,
Was kept all in tow,
Bat where they bid the highest
Twas whispered he would GO.
And ow good Christian brothers,
We ask your earnest prayers
That God would send shepherd.
To guide our church affairs;
With this clear understanding,
A man To meet our views,
Must preach to please the sinners.
And fill the vacant news.