The Bedford gazette. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1805-current, 1858-01-15
NOTHING To WEAR.

NaJ t"a' Tfet Sduseu al oIu IO9y 10 'hlSt'
blue cotton ''umbriP'-the Earth was parched
I'LL the cracks could be used for boot Jacks, the
grass wIlted tike toad in snow storm, the
hies were asleep under the toad stools, and
molasses was too lazy 10 run. / had cent in my
pocket, and the heat gave the Goddess OF Liberty
upon It rush of blood to the head causing her
TO look as II she had the mumps on both sides,
and wart on her nose. It was some hot.
was sitting upon box marked triangle 6 irving
to keep the corners OF my shirt collar from s-
| ding down into my boots. The horn buttons of
my coat had already melted and stopped up the
hole of my night key. felt so kinder habbv
that believe you could have cut button holes
IN my ribs and buttoned them 10 nv toes.
Things We're kinder coming focus to me- when
along came friend in a wagon. call it a wa
/ gon, bat It looked more like four -wheel-d hem
! coop. 1t was drawn by two something's;
suppose they call them horses, but / never saw
more knife-handle material, and less flesh, than
were inside those two hides. | verify believe
that If they had snrezrd they would have blown
themselves out OF their skins. Ny friend sings
out, "HaIoo Jack, you want to 90 swim
ming 2" "Will Butcher Boy eat dumpIings
hard 9 says l. and in jumped. found four
other friends slowed awav under the seat
trying to keep shady, the driver brought down
hls stick upon the two hides verv many sever
al times which sounded like nigger bpatinr
carpet, and after considerable Of an effort ths.
apologies got started, and We had a lively ride.
| The wheels hadn't been CREASED since Noah
wore his first night cap, and they furnished us
with some rich, | can't say rare music while
the bind wheels were grinding "D-ad March
IN Saul, the fore wheels were playing "Jordan
Is hard road 10 travel" every time the wheels
would go doton into rut, the nigh skeleton
who had the string hall-wonId twitch his
hind leg up giving US jolt that would cause
our chlns to come into iuxtaposition with the
toes OF our boots. | had just made up my mind
to get out and walk ahead, when We arrived
at the sea shore, the paradise Of long CLANS,
\ the Ed"n of Crabs. We had nothing 10 tie up
so W tied TO it-and down into the surf. We
all dIsrobed and-leaving our clothes in the
wagon, al given signal dove into the 'smul-
tltudinous seas" ! went under head and ears,
cut my toe on a clam she'll, and came up. |
spit out snndry pebble stones, scratched a
number of the countless sands Of the sea shore
ont OF my head, danced on one foot till burst
the bubbles IN my ears, when | brcamp aware
that my comrades were shouting pretty Justify.
L pushed the hair out Of my eyes and what
sight for nervous man I'll be darned fthe
animals didn't get scared at the spIashing in
the water or else they had smeIt an oat and
they were on the home stretch with all our
clothes. They rapidly disappeared from sight, !
old string halt's hind leg jerking against the |.
dash board al every "urn." We were in an
interesting condition. Five miles from home. I
| wish | was canvass back I'd duck more than I
once that afternoon it was romantic but not .
very funny, we straypd IN the water till our
skins looked like patent iSinglasS, and the wa
ter soaked through till we could taste the salt, .
when we cut stick for neighborDg corufpld,
and had just got fairly hid when down came
two loads ofthe prrttIeSt and saucipst boarding
school gIrlS that ever wore bloomers. We were
congratnIaing upon our escape, when we heard
that rich Irish brogue we heard ibe corn crash
ing, and a voice crying, "Sake him Sake
him" ard had just time TO climb tree, when
up rushed the most open countenancrd bulldog
ever saw, with homely visaSed Celtic gem
tleman behind him. 'sSure ant ye pretty
group of model artists up there, ye bIackguards
W was after stealing g-ntleman'S corn, was We! %
The damsels we're bathing close by us, and
there was not leaf on the tree, and we begged
hard that the I:ish gent would shut his mouth
or the girls would us; but twas no use,
we hadn't hot potato and we couldn't stop
him and good Lord, the dear maidrnS saw Us,
and the way the water loamed for a second
was caution they didn't stand upon the order
of their going but went at once We told
Pat our story and agreed 10 pay him to 60 up
to town and get our clothes. "Dvil bit will
do it," says he, ''if one OF We will 60 10 the
house with front door at the side III give
him some of me own clothes, and he can take
the Eice walk himself, and TO make sure he'll !
come back, I'll leave the dog to take care of
We" and leave him h- did. The dog kept guard
and for three. hours and half We roasted in that
old tree, fighting the horse flies and mosquitoes. !
| got bit till there wasn't fresh place 10 bite,
and looked like two-legged nutmeg graier- ;
Every time we stirred, the dog would growl, t
and didn't feel bad when Sam came back a
with the clothes. The anniversary OF that v
day always fast. 1t was wonderful 10 see
how some young ladies blushed when we met
hem on the street after that and how sud- 7
1enly boy about my size became interested =
n the number of cracks in the pavement when |
he saw a hooP-skirt approaching in the dim !. !.
distance.
Smith and Jones, merchants, were rushing Il
ound just ten minutes before two O'Clock rais- K
ng funds, when going round the corner of Kilby h
treet, Jones cam" in contact with Smith, knock n
ng him down. Smith was excited, and rxcla- Ii
ned g
"Do that again and I'll knock you into the S
middle oil next week"
"My dear fellow" shouted Jones, 'Do 1T,
nd I'll give you thousand dollars, for I'll can 10
My get through till then without breaking, 70
IN safr.'-B Boston Gazetts. al
Co The Raleigh Register announces the sud-
At r l..