Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, Va. [W. Va.]) 1852-1859, 1858-12-09
a SHORT PATENT SERMON.
BIT DOW, sn
want the whole of your attention while j
expatiate on the following:
81 Dow, ..
"0h ever and ever, as long as We may,
As We Journey thro' life LIZ Us LIVE by the VA

Ny HEARERS: The philosophy of living is
first rate study, but it must be interlarded with
practice, else all the study is in vain. To pom
der all ones life time upon the pleasures and
benefits of tender beefsteaks, pure wine, light
bread, mealy potatoes and virtuous course of
conduct, and at the same time practice upon
boiled pork, raw cabbage and rascality, is only
staying here amidst the comforts and l0xuries
bestowed by an ever generous Providence.
Some folks, my friends in truth / may say
tat majority put off living to-day in the hopes
OF living tomorrow. In many instances, they
deny themselves the comforts of a hog in the
pen-the fowl in its hermitage-the frog in its
puddle or a blind donkey in thistle patch.-
And all this in the vain expectation of being
ready to enjoy themselves tomorrow, which,
alas to them never comes. But how should
you live to enjoy yourselves, and stretch out
lie to its full extent-say one hundred years.
That is the period which every mortal should
Ireach-t1ve times the age of puberty-the same
as do animals. True, human existence has been
greatly raised since the whole world bad to
depend upon single pair of whites to populate
ITS; but there is no good reason why you should
not travel with yigor enough to give your toes
good smart stub at rhe curb-stones of CEN
fury. Some go for short life and a merry one,
ana they are sure to accomplish the brevity
part if they persist in making themselves con-
tlnually merry at the expense of nature.
| suppose, my brethren make an arithmetical
calculation concerning living, as connected with
the lengthenlng or dogtailing mans terrestrial
existence, Suppose man to have charged
against him the following, to be subtracted from
his term Of lie: s.
Years subtracted
Early aad excessive Indulgence bad brandy 40
6sres eS 20
Wet feet and damp apartments, IS
Disappointment in love Cuncertain) 10
over body or mind daily 90
Total. q85
As all these together amount to 235 years you
may well suppose that its subtraction would re.
duce mans little breathing SPELL to considera-
bly, less than no time at all; but oumust recol-
lect my tellow-c ypherers and sufferers, that
every human, however prodigal he may be of
his health, occasionally does something which is
put down to him on the opposite page of the ac-
count book. Now suppose the seICsamc indi-
vldual whom have commenced figuring at, is
in the end to be credited with the following; let
us see how the account will stand:
o.a..,...,,..., Years added.
and TO neuraze the effects Of bad brandy 50
Setting business aside taking flying trip behind
whisng nnrequtted love down the wind 10 10
Taxing pure schnaPps after feet and clothes 90
Total. ITO
Now. my friends, to strike, a balance between
the shortening, by excuses of 235 years. and
the result of said mortals existence would be 65
years-just 35 years less than he ought to, and
might live by little closer management
| that's so. Your gutts percha don't intend to
dissolve so long as there is homminy in the land
and oxygen in the atmosphere, and the world
remains repository of fun and rich anecdotes
Figures, my bretheren, are dry fodder, so now
Tor Tor "a little more CIDER Itsno way to live
it's bad management-to expose ones health, to
overtax ones bodily or mental powers, and then
have vile apothecary stuff trotted through him
to get well. Every scour you thus get is SINH
lar to polishing case knife with rotten-stone-
it grows brighter with every rub, but remarka-
| big thin in the end.
Better range the fields for health unbougbt,
| Than fee the doctor poisonous draug6t."
Our young ladies-Heaven kiss them!-all
lwish to live while they live-to enjoy their
beauty and natural loneliness; but must make
bold to say they go the wrong way to work.
They resort to too much of the artificial to sus-
tain them in their hopes, at that period when
their young buds of love should expand into
the full beauty of bloom. have nothing to
say against those what-d'y call'ems?- hoops.
They are harmless contrivances, and withal,
open, free and airy-wel calculated for health.
full ventilation. But must protest, my dear
creatures, against your tight lacing..yo
squeezing yourselves so numerically, when
there are so many agreeable methods of getting
squeezed always convenient. don't moreover
admire your insect waists, which it seems if nm
extra pull at the strings would cut clear in two.
The first and only girl your minister ever loved,
was slightly dutch-built and when extra tight.
eued around the middle, she resembled an g.
Ohow liked that figure. also protest against
chalk and paint They stop, clog and choke up
the thousand pores of the cheek, and. when
washed off, leave your skin as dry and shriyel-
ed as parched sleeps pelt Neither eat ar
senic, as dothe foolish ladies' of Austria: for
although it may increase your strength. give
apparent soundness to your limbs, and add
freshness to your cheeks for a time, verify. Syou
shall pay most dearly for its favors. Ave We
shall be cut down like clover that falls in full
bloom. :
Don't live fast my friends for that is over
living crowding life into an uncomfortable
space. Beware of prolonged excitement. An
accidental or artificial arousing ones emotion
and ideas is allvery good and perhaps necessary;
but a long excitement, whether pleasant or 9th.
erwise, always has a.double- back action attach-
ed to il, which, of truth is far from agreeable.
Like Patricks gun it is sure to shoot at both
ends. =
Live calmly, slowly, moderately, .systemati.
cally, prudently but generously, gaily, good
humordly, and always glad to know that there
are hearts in the world rs happy as your own
Don't fret and fume away your life substance in
the pursuit of gold, in order that you may find
enjoyment theretrom inyour waning years; for