Keowee courier. [volume] (Pickens Court House, S.C.) 1849-current, 1858-02-06
Uncle simon's wing Vote.
BY uAP HAZARD.

Come, Uncle Simon, tell us how you came
TO be such strong Democrat"
This was addressed to an old settler, who
with some dozen Of young fellows, were sea-
ted around this bar.room fire in village tav-
crn, discussing politics.
"Wcll, boys" says Uncle Simon, {" Psup-
pose must tell YOU the story, as it may be
of some use to you. But it always makes me
feel uncomfortable when l think oft, so per-
haps you had better order something to quiet
nv nerves."
The New England was brought and after
taking pull, he commenced. will let him
tell the story in his own way.
Now, boys, you must know that my faith
er was a strong Democrat, and he brought
me up in the same way, and | always voted
the straight ticket, until one spring the whig
committee camo to me, and by promising me
an Office under government, as hog howard,
persuaded me to vote the pesky tig whicket"
(llcre he took a long pull at the bottle, and
appeared to be much affectcd.)
Carried away by visions of future glory
and Advancement, went the next day and
voted. | did not feel quite right about it,
and kept thinking all the way home about
Jacobs and Esaus, Patent Rights and Potash
II got home safe, but | couldn't look my
wife and children in the face so | took the
milk pail and went out to milk. l had an
old cow-thc most gentle cow | ever saw in
my life. Well, hadn't hardly got into the
! barn before bang came her old foot and the
| pail went whizzing out of the door, clean
across the yard. l went and got it. feeling
! pretty mad, tell you but quieted her af
| ter awhile by telling her what an old fool she
made of herself, and she kept pretty quiet
till was about half through milking, when
slap came her old hoof and laid mo and the
| pail of milk up against the side of the barn.
| picked myself up and by that time L had
got all fred mad, tell You; so | got u rope
and tied her up, and walloped her harnsum,
now tell Then finished milking her, and
started for the house with about quart of
milk.
had fine flock of sheep in the yard, all
of 'em as quiet rs cossets They gathered
around me, and first one would put his nose
into the pail and then another, till it was all
gone. | was so mad with myself and the
darned old COW that didn't notice them.-
At last an old ram came up and not finding
any milk, he backed off about fifteen feet and
came for me. | picked up what there was
left of Uncle Simon and the pail, off from
wood pile, and started for the house again.
Just as / got to the door, saw all my
hogs going out of the front gate. started
Tor them, to head them off. had new bug
gy wagon standing in the yard, that cost me
fifty dollars. They run, and one of the obsti-
nato hogs run right thro' one of the wheels
and broke his ugly back and two Of the
spokes.
al gave up in despair, and won't into the
house, feeling kinder savage, aud mean too
My wife, Sally, was at work when came in
but she looked up at me. Says she-'twhy
Simon, what is the matter with you? you
look as mean as if you had been stealing
sheep, or something dreadful W
Says |, Sally, set down there" and she
sat down. Now" says /, "l'll tell you all
about it." SO | told her the whole story !;
and says she 1T is a judgment from heaven
on. yon for bctraying your country" She
said that l was worse than Judas of old, and
think WAS, now.
" Now, boysP said he, "if you ever expect
to be anybody, or to leave u name that will
be held up as an example to your future an
| cestry, just remember my experience, and
always vote the straight Democratic ticket"
But how about the government Office,
Uncle Simon z" says one of us.
"Oh have never applied for that yet"
said he, as he emptied his glass and set it
down with IA melancholy shake of his head,
while we were roaring with laughter
REFLECTIONS ON METHUsALEH.-How
many men are there who have taken into
their minds the full meaning of those nine
hundred sixty and nine years which meas.
urc the life of the "oldest inhabitant ?''-
Figures of arithmetic are empty symbols;
we measure time by deeds One summer
life in busy, fruitful lands, seems longer to
mans heart than centuries at the frozen
pole. Yet, though history records nothing
of the labors of Methusaleh, we know that
his hours did not "slumber in sleep. -
They were the same messengers that out
run crashless debtors, and cut short lovers
dreams. They we're the same swift step
ping elves. o faded beauty whose forked
/ feet trod thy dimples into wrinkles The
time that waited so long on Methusaleh,
was the same striding skeleton that swings
a ptiless scythe in the pages of the New
England Primer. His fields were moved
less frequently than now, but they yielded
! heavier crops. For there were giants in
those days"
! We have measured the age OF Methusa-
leh only by the sun-dial Let us take the
coil of this life, the nine hundred sixty and
nine years of his pilgrimage, and roll it out
from this present oyera past which history
has lighted 1t stretches back beyond the
landing of the Pilgrims; beyond the bright
ness of the reformation, into the dim twi-
light of the middle ages back beyond the
new birth of a continent back beyond Ag-
ingcourt, and Cresoy, and Hastings, and
over the graves of twenty-five generations,
to the very childhood of the English peo-
pie! William, the Conqueror. if he should
! rise 9t this day to confound the ambitious
/ nafooa xub;oh cIo; ~, 10 haze a 49,, = .,