Nebraska advertiser., 1858-08-26
SGuibS.

ney.
It's better to be smitten by a young
lady than by rheumatism.-Ex.
That depends upon whether you would
rather have the disease located in the
heart than in-the legs.
If person is continually complaining
of the town he lives in, it only proves
that he is not fit to live in it himself.
1t requires an early start nowadays
for a man to get round his wife.
1t is a mistake to suppose every man
you see with a brick in his hat is a ma
son.
Mrs. Ellis says lady can show anger
as we'll by her back in leaving room as
By her face. This must be when she
gets her back up
Wanted-A thin man who is used to
the business of collecting, to crawl thro'h
key holes and find debtors who are never
at home. Salary, nothing the first year,
to be doubled every year after.
One of the editors of the Boston Post
says: We have enjoyed the world as
much as others, but have never been hap
pier than when a boy we found a par
tridge's nest with eleven eggs in it.
Mr.. President, said q member of a
school committee, l rise to get up, and
am not backward in coming forward in
the cause of edication. Had it not been
for edication l should have been as ignor-
ant as yourself, Mr.. President.
May is considered an unfortunate
month for marrying. A down east edi-
tor says a girl was asked not long since to
unite herself in May in his proposals.
The lady tenderly intimated that May
was unlucky month for marrying. We'll,
make it June, then, honestly replied the
swain, anxious to accommodate. The
damsel, paused a moment, hesitated, cast
down her eyes, and said with a blush,
wouldn't April do as well!'
A gentleman who did not trust to his
memory, wrote in his memorandum book
must be married whenI get married.
The nerve which never relaxes, the
eye which never blanches, the thought
that never wanders-these are the mas
ters of victory.
A French writer has said: TO dream
gloriously, you must act gIoriously while
you are awake; and to bring angels down
to hold converse with you in your sleep,
you must labor in the cause of virtue du-
ring the day
a bear has always been reckoned a
formidable animal gay seducer who
hugs his victim to death, in the most af-
fectionate but painful manner. But the
most terrible specimen of a bear we ever
heard tell of, is the one we hear tell OF
in the following which we clip from al
exchange:
There was ajolly woodman
A standin' by tree,
When he spied an awful big bear
A coming right at he.
The bear was ramparageOu5
The foam was on his lip,
And full a yard of land,
He cleared at every step.
Innocence is a flower which wither
when touched, but blooms not again, tho
watered with tears.
The mind has more room in it thai
most people think, if they would furnisl
the apartments.
A pert young lawyer once boasted toa
f old member Of the bar, that he had rec
r eived two hundred dollars for speakin
in certain cause. 1 received doubI
4 that sum for holding my tongue was I'll
/ reply.
: jury said an Arkansas Judge, 'y0
may 90 out and find a verdict If yo
can't find one Of your own, get the one th
> last jury used They returned a verde
} of suicide in the ninth degree.
a dull day, and an empty pocket, an
being in love, affects a mans spirits mo
seriously.
n A lawyer in the interior Of Maine r.
: Gently declined paying his merchant f
1t his bill of goods on the ground that Il
5. merchant might suspend and keep Il
l. money out of circulation.
= Never assist in circulating a slander
q repeating it, as by such means it lives.
1t IS better to SOW young heart wi
j generous thoughts and deeds, than fe
> of corn, since the hearts harvest is pc
= petual.
er Trees with double flowers are too oft
IN the emblem of friendship-there is pie
OF ty of blossoms, but no fruit.
le Don't you like back gammon?' = salt
n lody on a steamboat to a Hoosier.
" i don't know; l never ate any, "
re the reply.
An editor out West says he don's thl
Columbus deserves any credit for disc
Sc ering America, for he couldn't have W
lis missed il.
Punch says that in the shadow Of
he small waist may b. seen q large d9c,l
bll. and the Outlines q = c-I.ID-