Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1858-05-05
From a Regular Correspondent.
St. Nicholas Hotel, New York,
April oath, 1858.


FRIEND JACK i am more convinc-
ed than ever that this world is great
humbug, and that this city is one of its
principal depots. Humbuggery sticks
out nightly in all its phases around
here: even religion $50 styled is not
free from it. For instance, the
report that Ned Forrest was converted
to orthodoxy, which was expected to
have influence In certain quarters, and
did have some, was sheer fabrication.
1t was groundless, and the proof is in
the fact that Ned has since booked HIM
self for star engagements in the princi-
pal cities for the present and coming
season. But this was a EiouS hunebug.
The great Charity Ball at the Crys-
tai Palace last week, was one of the
most disgraceful affairs that ever came
off in this graceful city. 1t was not
select; on the contrary, it was quite
promiscuous. Every precinct of the
city, from the Hook to 9Th Avenue, was
and the crowd enumera-
ted from decent people all the way
dozen through black-legs, gamblers, Pc
ter Funks, policy dealers, public men,
public aeonae,a, and hypocritical Chris
tians. The building was beautifully
decorated. Sacred pictures adorned
the walls in very appropriate manner,
and very inappropriately just below
them hung printed directions how to
find the liquor bar of the establishment.
Whether the pictures were appreciated
or not, / can't say, but certainly the
bar was, and drunkenness commenced
at an early hour. Most of the decent
folks left near midnight, about which
time commenced a scene which almost
battles description. Rowdyism was
rampant. Swearing and tearing, drink
and fighting became the order of exer-
cises for the balance of the night. A
party Of rowdies entered the ladies'
dressing-room, and destroyed or car
ried off nearly all the bonnets, cloaks,
shaWls, capes, ETC., and the feminines,
amid the curses and insults of the ''lords
of CREATION" when they started for
home, had to don over-coats, Raglans,
and other male apparel of their protec-
tors; and thus ended a great philan-
thropic enterprise, which it was expec-
ted would furnish food for many a hun
CRY one. The getters-up of it, after
good the destroyed and stolen
property, of course had nothing left for
the poor poor. This was a phildn-
thropic hon7a5ug.
Probably some Of your readers have
seen advertisements in local papers Of
splendid gold, diamond, Or other rich
gifts, to be awarded to all the new sub
scribers of certain literary papers pub
lished in this city. Prizes of untold
magnifcence to be given away to its
patrons. Two dollars secured the pa
per for a whole year, and a prize worth
double the money, and chance to be
the lucky recipient Of $4,000, or some
other rich prize, BESIDES! These enter
prising fellows have been doing splen-
did business, and, of course, they IN
tended to fulfil their munifcent prom
Uses, but, unfortunately, the police have
stepped in and shut up their Offices On
the ground that they were violating the
lottery law; and now the poor devils of
proprietors, with from $75 900 to $780,
900 apiece, of their patrons money
jingling in their pockets, being legally
unable to return the quid pro quo, have
to grin and bear 1T. e. the money!
This might be termed a literary hum
bug.
Have you heard of the West India
Coffee Co.? 1t is wonder if you have
not, for said Co. have sent circulars all
over the West, among our merchants,
offering an exclusive agency with big
commission, in the sale of their cofees,
to some one competent person in each
town. For this exclusive agency, they
simply required from SIS to 500, which
would be Immediately returned in sam
pies of goods. This dodge was discov-
cred but a few days ago; the police
found the cage, but the bird had flown.
The manager had received about $780,
900, by this commercial hunabetg.
Ever since first heard of that dear,
good old soul, who discovered in the
East Indies the Canabias, and swhose
sands of life are nearly run OUT l have
had a great respect for him. Being
over in Jersey City yesterday upon
business, bethought me of the cold
doctor" who lives here, and so asked a
friend for his Understanding to