Weekly Trinity journal., 1858-05-29

! A VARIETY or SMALL ArFARs.-An Italian
painter employed to repair the pictures in a con
vent, presented charges thus: For correcting
the Ten Commandment Isl; for embellishing Pontius
PLATE, and putting new rband in his cap; put
ting new tail to the rooster Of st Peter, and
mending his comb; tacking the thief to the cross;
washing High Priests face; making the heavens
nearly new; putting in two stars; gliding the
sun and cleaning the moon; stirring up the flames
Of purgatory; reviving the Internal regions, and
putting new tail to Lucifer; repairing vest Of
llcrod; putting in two teeth and adjusting wig;
cleansing ears of Balaam's ass putting two teeth
in Sampson's iawb0ne; patching shirts of Prod-
gal son; washing the pigs, and putting the water
in the trough, and mendng Amos breeches.'
HADDIx says that when his wife shows greater
judgment and stronger will than his own, he
thinks best to let Ter rip
A PEBBLE in the streamlet sent hath turned
the course of many a river; dew drop on the
baby plant hath warped the giant oak forever
You have considerable floating population in
this place. said a Yankee to Mississippi swamp
squatter.
well, yes rather so; about half the year the
Awater is up to the second story windows
MA THEATRICAL critic thinks that If a skunk
should undertake to play Hamlet, he might make
decided hit' in the line methinks | scent the
morning air.
TuE Maine Legislature open and close by sing
ing hymn--an arrangement to save paying
chaplain.
Ir you would have an idea of the ocean in
storm, lust imagine ten thousand hills and four
thousand mountains all drunk, chasing one an
other over newly ploughed ground, with lots OF
cayerns in it for them to step into now and then.
JrLms PEACHBLOssOM says that when do female
coored population go TO church 'dey attend
mostly to de hWis.
RlnEfAts, the celebrated French dramatic wri
ter, when lying on his death. bed, aud observing
a number Of his friends weeping around him, thus
addressed them: 'Thank Heaven, if | were to
die ten times, should never make you cry half
so much as | have made you laugh
'Wlrn, tell you to go to bed
/ tell you won't
gWel, then sit up will be obeyed, dam'me I!
DEFGEsrIKINs says that his unmarried aunt Is
fearfulIy and wonderfully matd.
CONVENTION of tidy women have decided
that TO wipe the dirt from childrens noses into
the corners of their eyes is not exactly the clean
thing.
WINDY speaker once ordered glass of water
during tedious speech in Parliament. | will
rise to a point of order said Sheridan ii is out
of order for wind dmll to go by water
A MAN with very large cash in his face was
asked if he had long lease of that mouth NO.
he replied, it only extends from Year to Year
IT is supposed that there are about five millions
of Indians remaining in North America, includ-
ing mixed bloods.
A MAN in Humboldt came home tight one night,
and finding the door tight too, kicked it loose,
and then gave his wife a lambasting because she
wouldn't shet up
in one of the Eastern courts long discussion
arose whether a witness should answer the ques-
zion What did Mary sayH Three judges gave
long opinions in the Affirmative, and then witness
answered, Why, Mary didntsay darned thing