The Perrysburg journal. [volume] (Perrysburg, Ohio) 1853-1861, 1858-01-28
From Life illustrated.
WnmfPIl. a WiGp.

I wish somebody would make me New.
Years present Of good wife Here | am
nearly thirty years old, and an old bachelor yet,
I'm sure its not my fault. don't at all relish
coming home at night TO lonely room, and
yowning all the evening over stupid book,
without soul to speak TO. don't fancy darn.
ing my own stockings ndsewng on my own
shirt-bultons. clearinghouse life isn't the
gleatest luxury in the world, especially when all
the invalid chairs and broken tables in the es-
adjustment are pcusioned off in your room, and
the Biddy uses your hair-brush, aud anoints her
self with your malefuers
Id like rosy little wife, and cheerful home,
as we'll as anybody. Id like to think, at my
daily labors down town, OF pair of bright eyes,
looking up and down the street to see il I'm
coming, OF kettle singing at the iire, and a
pair OF slippers put down so warm BY hands
that exactly corresp0nded with the bright eyes
But don't know where the good wives have
all gone have read Of them, and know
they once existed, but the race is now extinct.
I've examined oil the young ladies' OF my ac-
quaintance, and not one ot them realizes my
idea OF what wife should be. want gentle.
loving companion, to sit at my ilreside, cheer
my existence, console my sorrows, and share
my ioys--un economical, domestic, quiet help
mate, 10 make u home for ms. All, If | could
only finG such person
| don't want wife who goes rustling about
in satns and slks--who plays divinely on the
piano, and don't know how to make u shirt
who can embroider on velvet and paint N wa.
ter colors, and hasn't the least idea of the in
gradients necessary TO form an apple-pie
don't want wife who dances the Lancers
with hole in the toe of her silk stocking.
doa't want wife who is too "nervous" to see
to the affairs of her household, but who is per-
fectly capable of fashionable dissipatons- who
goes into strong Mysteries because | don't en-
gage box at the opera, and shops on Broad.
way, wasting all my income in "great bargains!
and don't wanta wife who reads novels and
works in worsted, with a poodle in her lap,
while the meat is burning Downstairs in the
kitchen, and the pudding is baked to a cinder
There's the catalogue of what don't want
and now will enumerate the things do want.
wan; neat, stirring little wife, whose nice
ly-ftting dress is made by her own hands--who
can make loaf of bread, roast turkey, or cook
a beeisteak--who regards hole in her husband 3
coat as reflection on her own housewifery char
acter and who can talk about literary news and
even politics. as well as about new dresses and
new fashions--who is lady in the kitchen as
well as in the parlor, and who looks upon hus-
band as something nearer and desrer than a
mere ma chine TO pay her bills, and hold her fan
and handkerchief at parties
Now, Mr. Editor do you know OF any such
woman as this7 My female acquansances are
all pretty wax.doll creatures, whith richly
ringed hands and pale faces and don't know
exactly where the kitchen is, and would faint
away if you mentioned wesh-tub,o ora fryingp n
in their presence They are very passabe draw
ing-roon ornaments, but us to ever becoming
thrifty, creditabe wives, one might as well MAJ
ry the revolving ladies in the windows on Broad
way?
Am to die an old bachelor, or am to marry
huge crinoline, an infnitesimal bonnet. and
a pair Of yellow kid gloves, with a woman in
side of EN- RALPH REDBLossoM.