Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1858-10-06
Fact, Fancy and Fu.u

oEo0Snt II pack slightly heated. -
The soil is never more attractive
than when it puts on a rye" face.
There are two ways to Get THROUGH
the world-pUsh through, or be push
There is farmer near us who is
feeding his hens on sweetened whiskey
to make them lay "egg-nog."
IT is the opinion Of a., Western
editor, that wood goes further when
lett out OF doors than when well hous-
ed -rH-
WHY can't the Captain Of vessel
keep memorandum of the we;oht of
his anchor, instead of Weighing it every
tine he leaves port. ...
Kit North says that it is. no won
der that women love cats, for both are
graceful and domestic-not to mention
that they both scratch,
a rabid hater of nuns lately de.
clared that every man who dared to
to pen pun should be sent for punish
ment to the pe'aitentiary. 'sa71
-"What did YOU hang shat. cat for,
lsaac?'' asked the schoolmarm. The
boy looked, up, and, with grave look.
or 2neao-tiny, marm."
An indiana paper refuses to pub
lIsh eniogles gratis, but adds:-tWe
will publish the simple announcement
Of the death Of our friends with pleas
ure. -y
leave your grievances, as Napo-
icon did his letters unopened for three
weeks, and it is astonishing how few Of
them at that time will require answer
ing.
A distinguished English author
earnestly advises, in a novel now in
the course Of publication, that men
S.shqH not do Gr2ysA5,sg aq2on tick.''-
WIN he not permit us to sleep upon
tick?
! think You have a stye in your
eye, said green youth to a girl he
ne was trying to court. s'No," said
she, looking straight at him, II have
got a great hog in it, but no sty for
hiln," .. .
Julius Caesar Hannibal, giving an
account of his sea voyage, says: 'sAll
de passengers was now heavin', and if
dat wasn't enough, de captain give or
ders fer &c ship to heaye too, and she
hove too"
an actor at one Of our theatres
was called out four times in one even
ing not long ago--twice by the sheriff.
once by the tailor, and once by an ir
re&istaole desire to imbibe---a promis.
ing genius.
One ofthe best inscription of the
New I ork cable celebration was that
m relation to the engineer who contriy-
ed the paying ont apparatus-"Don't
forget Everett, who shufIled off the i'm
mortal coil"
An Irish doctor, we are told, ad-
vertised that persons afflicted wifi
deatE-ess might hear Of him in a house
III Lt1fey street, where also blind per
sons might see him daily, from three
til ten O'Clock
ao, r.. -,
90 r,cI J"' 81! memo sad a DOCTOR to
,,cs 49,, IN II X! 5''Sie"'' ',, " oG'n'oSe"' we
vezes nc, replied Pat; fl could die
q h2lt' dozen times Id not care a half
penny about this fine ;,
-'}Fiil you take sometling?" said 3
aeafotaEer to friend while standing
near tavern.
! don't care Il J do, was the re-
ply.
"N 81, said the tcatotaler, "let's
take 4 walk..2
IT, t
! I.i.'.'iI@:, E'!'cl'lhg r'lcl' saio
:7f5,a,,,Isf, 5:@nIIs " us 1ar nearer: l
have Won wife y5id several small fam;lr
dat is ororviro, m va,.v Ioaroe and moss,
ing 10 make bejr bread ont Of but 1e
oerspiration Of I,av own evebrows.''
= fs''tc2n1%srl on beng called upon
- hatp p2y Ior j'@ntnng rod tor the
FI!2gc c4Urcl, towards the building OF