The Placer herald., 1858-07-03
Playing Old Sledge for the Presidency
BY s. L., OF TENNESSEE.

| '0, !" you e'ef uIediIleu any tnlnR smart
your friends ought to know it for the benefi,
of your car-ac-ter, for cuss me if you ever
thought any thing smart awake"
Thus bantered, Sut leaned against the
rough board counter of the doggery, with 8
tumbler Of whiskey in one hand, while the
other hand sounded for the button of hole
in his breeches, by courtesy called pecket
took a small sip, and began to tell his dream
Hear him, reader, speak for himself.
"Gentlemen! l drempt an impossiblity
last mite. | wur in Washington city, an
know | never will be thar, onless they take
me thar tn hang or cruelty me for drinkin'
rot gut-in my dream l was thar, an no
mlstake-sartin sure-at thunderin' big
tavern, whar they rung leetle bells to keep
from hollern' arter the niggers an maxim a
noise; an whar they called you tn your mush
by ratln' on big still bottom jest for the
sake of the noise; an whar they took thirty
dimes day fur dozin fur you; an whar they
gin you sass enough to make you fite (at
home) fur nothin' at all. Darn the seat of
government-an' darn everybody, l say"
Tell your dream before you get drunk, you
long legged cuss you, or somebody tell it for
YOU"
Thus reproved, Sut sheered into the chan
mel again:
"Well, arter supper awhile, I nosed around
ontil got inter room whar l seed lite
an thar sot three fellers playin' ov 'old
sledge'"
"OId what!'
"Seven up, you drotted, weazel-skinned
frog legged, son of a kangaroo"
This was addressed to a young specimen
of the order intensimus Americanus, anti
PropeatiJus madleusimus, who shone re-
spIendent from K, in tights, small
cane, watch-ribbon, and had a audable de-
sire to learn something of the hidden mvs-
teries of old sedge. lie played only an
asihmaic tombone 'schesa' while in the city.)
They wur playin' seven up with bran
new derks, spank spun new, and no marks
every teler for his self seemingly. Now,
gentlemen, believe, kin smell keerds, if
they are in motion, as far AS from here to the
spring, or how the devil did happen to hit
onto that room where gamboling wur gwine
on! But thar l did 90 by ins,inck, an the
three telers wur nobody on yearth but Buck
cannon, Fillmore and Freemount, an they
wur playin' a single game Of scven-up for
the Presidents cheer ov these free and awful
united E llurbus States, thirty one in mum
Der, and kver:n' the whole vearlh. Thar
war another chap inter that room, with one
hand uuder bis coat ia an tother a strokiu'
ov his chin, wakin about sourter keeress
like, but fust at one of them and then at
tother. Then he'd tiptoe an try to peep into
Bucks hand But tie old feler hilt it under
the shadder of The table, and sorter looked
at it sorter side ways his self, and was a
watchn' the peepin' feler too, all the while
rite clost.. His name was Seward or He'll
ward, or sometlin' ov that sort, no matter
which. Now, gentlemen, | kin play old
sledge myself right peart, and when seed
that it was game of two pluck one, and
Buckcannon was bound to be skinned eff his
hide didn't grow fast onto his bones | got
man as bee in swarmin time an jist
thought (mind l said nohin) I'd like TO
knock enough ov that chaps skull to make
a bullet ladle, ef dared tn. lie is a darned
snake in the grass, sure
"Well, arter they had played out their
hands, Mr.. Buckannon sez, bown' nifty
purlite, believe. gentlemen, stand high
jack, and that has sot me six, eff l aint mis-.
taken. Then both on 'em, Fillmore and
Fremont, spread all O. Bucks out onter the
table, till they saw his ace of trumps an
the jack ov trumps which he had cotch from
Fillmore with the king and then they agreed
that he was six. Seward said, Yes, he re-
coned that was the state of the game. Fill
more, then, as modest as a fifteen year old
gal, said, Il made low you kotch my juice
with your old ace, Mister Buckcannon, and
that sits me three All agreed on that
count; and Fremont, leaning on his chair
back, whispered behind his hand tu me, 'And
Id low it was, too, didn't you think so!
and his black must-touch-us twisted up like
into cork screws; but all agreed that Fill.
more was three an no mistake. Fremont
then said, 4 made game, an that sot me six
with you, Mister Buckcannon. Buck bowed
again tu that; but Fillmore sed, 'Sir-r, III
count game with you; this is not adzactly &C.
cordin' tu our onderstandin' sir and for the
fust time he looked like he mout be made tc
fte Seward frowned, shook his head, wink
ed, and sweated nightly. Fremount did so
an oil at old Fillmore, but it warn't no use
count game he would; and Fremount bea
him one. So that sot the game-Buck six
Fremount six, and Fillmore three, an Buck
deal an Fremont's beg or stand.
"Buck licked his thumb an dealt EN- NIT,
slow and keerful. l looked at Fillmore
kerds as be got EN- from the deal, and it ill
ed to knock me down. There was the ace
the king, the jack, the ten an the juice O
trumps! Thinks l, O Lordy! and then
looked at him, and thar the old feller sot, hi
belly kive'ing the cheer all over, an abou
as wise as an old Dutch squire tryin
of bastsrdy case with good proof agin th
daddy. tell ye boys, he looked jest like h
had his fust big horn of whisky for the mite
an felt it in his boots. tho't, 0 Lordy
again.