American union. [volume] (Morgantown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1855-1859, 1858-08-20

rlctl, Tor had shouldn't have enjoyed
oil the care l bestowed upon him. r
The Changes Of a Quarter of a Cen.
tury.--A man named Barnum was last
week pardoned out of the CONNECTICUT
State prison, after continent of TWEEN.
ty.six years. The wonderful changes
of the last twenty. years are, he
says, oil to him, and are looked upon
by him with about the same degree of
wonder as if he had just arisen from
the dead after sleep of quarter of a
century. He never, until Saturday
last, saw printing press, q railroad
or train of cars. He was taken to
the depot at New Haven to see the
express train to come in, and was much
astonished at the sight.
"Sir," said Col. Benton, not many
days before he died, "sir, there are
three disreputable resorts in which, be
it remembered, I have never set foot,
and l name them in the order of their
infamy-the worst last. I allude to
house of ill'fame, gambling hell, and
q national Convention"
DANIEL A DEAD.HEAD.-Speaking
OF lions-that was an idea of the hard
shell preacher, who was discoussing of
Daniel in the den of lions
There he sot all night, looking at
the IL show for nothing. 1t did not cost
him q cent.
"1t is extremity disagreeable to me,
madam" said an ill-natured fellow, "to
tell you unpleasant truths" "I have
no doubt, Sir, that it is extremely dis,
agreeable for your to tell truths of any
sort"
"l'm afoat I'm ahoat!" scrcs med a
young lady of powerful lungs and fin
gers to match, as she exercised both at
the piano. II should think you were"
growled an old bachelor, '.judging from
the squall you raise"
"You arc Yankee" said fellow
tauntingly to his neighbor. "Well, sir
l am no more responsible for having
been born a yankee, than you fer hav.
ing been born donkey"
A lady up town cleared her house
of flies by putting honey on her hus-
bands whiskers when he was asleep.
The flies stuck fast, and when he went
out of the house he carried them along
with him.
When flowers are full Of Heaven,
descended dews, they always hang their
heads; but men hold theirs the higher
the more they receive, getting proud
as they get full.
A recent French writer asserts that
"Adam was the first ridiculous man
because he was the first married man."
and very naively adds, "but he would
have been more ridiculous had he re.
mained a bachelor"
A person who had become rather
dissipated, was accused Of having
loose character.
Il wish it were loose, said he, I'd
soon shake it off.
The Washington States says several
ladies of fashion ut Washington city
are introducing lager beer into their
houses, as refreshing morning bever.
age to offer visitors.
No man knows what torpid snakes
may lie coiled in eome secret corner Of
his heart, waiting for summer Of
fostering circumstances.
A Western editor says A flock of
sheep, composed Of all "wethers," may
DO said to resemble our climate.
When you find man willing to
60 without his dinner to serve you, you
may safely conclude he is a true friend.
Jones says tho way to avoid quar-.
rels is to let the angry person have all
the quarrel to himself.
Why is necessity like great mary
barristors? ? Because it knows no law.
REAL CAptrAL.--The capital to be.
gin life on, is capital wife.
The credit that is got by lilo only
lasts till the truth comes out.
Great hearts, liko tho ocean never
CONCEAL.