Brookville American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1858-1861, 1858-07-02
Concetts Of tte&ctssors.

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B@r Why is coffee like an axe with q
dull edge? Because it requires to be
ground.
b0- 4 drunkard's nose Is said to be-
light house, warning us Of the little
water that passes underneath.
! D6- A coquettc may be compared 10
tinder, which catches sparks, but does
not always succeed in lighting q match.
bg- Some one has said: at may be
that an honest man is the noblest work
of God, but woman is the prettiest.
r@- The rage for the scarlet petticoat
is. perhaps, on thewhole, rother harm
less kind of scarlet fever.
n9- Jones has purchased hat for tho
head of navigation, and shortly expects
to cap the climax.
par The man who tried to whistle
bar of soap has attempted to sing stave
off molasses cask.
paS- "Sally, what time do your folks
diner "Soon as you go away--thats
missus's orders"
No. Each moment makes thee dear
er-as the parsimonious tradesman said
to his extravagant wife.
s9- My son, what does your mother
do for living?"
'She eats cold wittles, SIR
B@- ga tale of terror. A spaniels
continuation with four punches OF fire.
crackers and three tin pans fastened TO
it.
pa Ifyou wish to dream of wedding
rings and fruit cake, waltz with book
muslin dress stuffed with health and
Ipalpitation.
pT- "Why do you admire that young
lady so very much7" "Sir, have new
er seen her except on foot, but / admire
her tor her remarkably fine carriage
Ba~ '.Cuffec, is that the second bell?"
mo. massa, dat's de second ringin' OBJ
de fuss bell. We hadn't got no second
bell in dis hotel" H
aar "Will you have mo SarahY' said
a young man to shy young lady,
"No, John, said she, "but you may have
me If you like"
p6- "If you touch my dog you touch
me" said pert young man to lady.
"Sir, know very well, that If touch
you touch a dog"
p1- There has been, for some time
past larger floating population in Cairo,
than in any other portion city of its
size in the United States.
rA- A man was walking quickly down
the street the other day, when he was
suddenly struck bya thought and knock
ed into a gutter.
Bdy- To Tom Moore's line:
"our bed shall be bcspangIed with dew"
A sensible girl replied:
"'TwOuld sivs the rhumatics, and so it would
you."
p9- Mrs. Rugg, a widow, having ta-
ken Sir Charles Price for her second
husband, and being asked by friend
how she liked the change, replied, 'Oh,
| havs got rid ofmy old Rugg for a good
Price"
pds- An old fellow being visited by
pastor he assured him that he could not
be good Christian unless he took up
his daily cross, whcrcat he caught up
his wife and began Juggling her about
the room.
ba- A fellow who went to hear a
fashionable and popular preacher re-
Gently, says that the text was "He that
hath ears to hear let him hear,' which
the preacher rendered, "He that hath
yahs to yah, let him yah"
r6s- He knows his neee. / know he.
knows his nose. He said / knew he
know his nose; and if he said he knew
knew he knew his nose, of course he.
knew knows his nose.
Bfy- An Irish recruit who had heard
that corporal was about TO be dismis-
sed from his regiment, remarked:
Faith hope it's the most trouble
somc one we have-'Corporal Punish
ment.'
pa- Muggins says he don't believe in
the appearance of spirits in this world
so strongly as he does in thcir disap-
pearance. He lost gallon of brandy
and two baskets OF champagne on the
last election.
bT- A very polite individual who had
been deprived of very valuable um-
brella, posted up the following notice.
who was the gentleman who exchanged
umbrellas with wo the other day and
forgot to leave hisy
rW A woman can never have too
much learning to be agreeable, If she be
careful to retain so much female delica-
cy as not TO become o pedant. Some
body once remarked that no matter how
blue lady's stocking may be, II the
petticoats are long enough to cover
them.
pa- The late Rowland Hill once said,
on observing some persons enter bis.
chapel TO avoid the rain that was fall
ing:
SMany persons are 10 be blamed for
making their religion cloak; but l DO
not think those much better who make
IL an umbrella.
rsy- Come in, Joe, and let's take a
| drink.
sThankyc, Thomas, can't affordit.
We'll, but TIL pay for ~. !,
%, I'm not speaking Of the monoy.
what then 2