The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1858-03-24

49, a child wanting to describe snake
said it was "a thing all tail, clear up to
its head"
= There is a piece of fence in New
York State, made of rails so crooked that
every time a pig attempts to crawl thr'o
it he comes out on the same side from
which he starred ....r
- Why are pen-makers the most dis
honest people in the world Because they
make people steel pens and say they do
qCrite.
- A Hottentot got up apainting, of
heaven. 1t was enclosed with fence
made of sausages while the center was
occupied by fountain that squirted pot
pie.
= "Mr Brown, you said you board
ed at the City Hotel six months: did you
foot the bill?' '.No sir, but it amounted
to the same thing-the landlord footed
me-"
A witness in q Hoosier court being
asked how he knew that two certain par
ties were man and wife, replied; s'Why
dog on it, I've heard 'em scolding each
other MORN fifty times" The evidence
was deemed conclusive.
= Who ever heard of widow com
uniting suicide on account oflove. A lit
tie experience is very wholesome.
| remember, I remember,
When l went hooking peaches,
How dog came out and caught me,
By the surplus ofmy brooches.
How l hung fast to the bushes
How the dog hung fast to me,
Till my crying brought man, who,
Flogged me most orful-lee.
- A certain Irish attorney threaten
ed to prosecute Dublin printer, for in
scrting the death of living person. The
menace concluded with the remark that,
''no printer should publish death, I'M
less appraised of the fact by the party de-
ceased 5fszt fsEEbf}f +
- Speaking of beautiful brunette
belle, friend of ours accounts for the
BROWNIES OF her complexion, by e fact
that she has so often been toasted.
81 say sambo, was you ebcr in
toxicated z"
"No, julius, nebber.1 Was you?"
"We!f, was, Sambo" r.F A' -
Didn't it make YOU feel good, Julius 2
''Yah Yuh! But oh goIlvl nextmor-
MIN, thought my head was a wood-shcd
and all the niggcrs in Christcndom were
splittin' wood in it,
- Justice is a virtue of the mind, re-
warding all men according to their wor-
thincss. ..t.. E...lE. $50
= Why is dogs tail like the heart
Ola tree! Because it is farthcst from the
bark.
Neither mon nor women become
what they were intended to be by carpet
ing their path with velvet; real strength
is tested by difficulties. ~ ~
= "They pass best over the world,'
said Queen Elizabeth, ''who trip over it
quickly; for it is but bog = if we stop,
we sink"
- Charms. = Fortunes of twenty
thousand. Countercharms. = Pretty
shop girls.
- False wit, like false money, only
passes current with. those who have no
means of comparison.
= A country editor thinks that Co
lumbus is not entitled to much credit for
discovering America, as the country is so
large he could not well have missed it.
A queer looking customer inserted
ms head INTO an auction store and grave
Iy enquired, SCAN | bid sir?,
Certainly replied the auct,onear
""eli then, SAID the wag, an bid
YOU good night"
= "Brudder Julius, YOU saw Won have
left Mr.. Allen and gone to live with Mr.
Green. How did you come to do that ~
"He urged me-"
"Who urged you?"
"Mr Allen"
'How sol"
'With big boot. 1 gave his wife sass
ane he kicked me off der stoop.
- a man in Pawtueket lately made
application for insurance on a buildinr.
situated in Village where there was no
fire engine. In answer to the question.
sWhat are the facilities for extinguisbin@
fires, hewrote, sit rains sometimes"
aFGE 900 7