True American. [volume] (Steubenville [Ohio]) 1855-1861, 1858-10-27
HUMOROUS.
The DarkeY and the Oxen.


As good o colored story as we have
heard for many month, comes from an
Augustine correspondent in Georgia -
Boston Olive Branch.
"Simon had long aspired to the digni-
fed and easy office of carter or OK driver.
Often had he looked with envious eye
upon the favored JEFF, as seated upOnslhe
pole of his cart, he drove whistling along,
the impersonation, in Simon's view. Of
the true otium cum dignitate. Never
doubling his qualifications for the post
(what Office seeker does y he longed, or
as he expressed it, fairly cached, for an
opportunity for displaying his skill, conf
dent that it would be such as could not
fail to secure him a permanent seat upon
the cart, vice, JEFF removed. At length
fortune seconded his wishes JEFF was
luckily absent; the corn must be sent to
the mill Simon must yoke Buck and
Darb', and carry it.
"'Now, you gwine to see drivin',' said
ne to the boss, when having finished the
preliminaries, he took his seat upon the
cart, cracked his whip over the cattle, and
added spirit to its effect by we'll modu-
lated Gee up hyerp Away rushed Buck
and Darb in grand style for about ten
steps; then suddenly stopping, with a
ljerk that well nigh precipitated our hero
from his long coveted seat. A second
GO long dar, Buck you Darb, wha,
you bout now!' with numerous artistic
fourshes of the whip, resulted no better.
why 'pon de face Of de yearf what's
got into desc steers! Jes' look at Darb,
now pullin' ag'in Buck, and tryin' to
J twist his tail roun' toder way! Do
b'lieve in my soul dem steers knows
l amt jeff! And yander's de boss, too,
! he'll be hollerin' at me fore long,
"After seeing him worry with them a
: little longer, the boss, who had seated
. himself on the fence few yards off tc
enjoy the sport, did 'holler' at him, to tel
: him that he had yoked the oxen on tht
e sides to which they were not respectively
n accustomed, and that he must disengage
? them and pu! Buck on the right side and
Darb on the left.
"'Heh !" said Simon, wonder why
: | didn't see dat! I thought something
must be de matter; III fix you now, my
boys--you see if | don't
"Pretty soon he was off his seat and
had them disengaged from the cart, bu
without removing the yoke! Gee up
dar, Buck I'll drive you round to the
. odder sids, and then we'll see wha, you''
gwine to do with your tantrums wher
: the boss's lookin' at me from de fence
: yander.
8 "By this time he got them round, and
J, of course, after arranging them heac
t formost in propria forma, they came ou
d exactly in statu quo. Laws.a-massy /!
q said he, in self depreciatory tone, 'wha
s was | thinking about, drivin' you round
: de wrong way Pears like l amt 90
good sense dis mornin, somehow. Yo,
t Darb, come out O. dar! I bound 10 gi
It you righ. dis time! Spec you'll foo
d about wild yer projectifcations till de bos
= II be down here directly. Whoa gee
!, Gee, say I
n lowing to some inexplicable fatality
= his success was no better this time thar
}. before. lie drove then round 10 the righ
: crossed over, and came out-second best
ID We'll now said he. this is purity spo
g Of work, amt it' Dat Jef's done some
Q thin to these steers! Shu'se you born
e he's done somethin' 10 desc steers!'
e The oxen had, by this time, go
l. their heads turned toward the cart, an
Ia were standing at the end Of the pole, wal
= tin the result of their drivers meditations
. . Carefully accommodating their RESPECTIVE
= positions, he seemed 10 be suddenly in
- spired with project which must succee
Is in spite of fate. The reader shall hav
d the benefit of the train Of reasoning =
D, Dare dey stan Buck and Darb, boat {
is 'em loookin' dis way; Buck on de righ
,e han and Darb on de lef; dat's jist d
1t way dey ought to be. So now my chi
n lun's, | reckon I'm gwineto to fix you. In
J gwine to jes' drive you up to the cart SO
:, and den I'm gwine TO make you turn ye
:, heads tolher way, aud your tails dis way
u and don you's 'bleeged to be right, whei
er der you will or no
ie 81 have always regretted that this bri
at liant scheme was never fully tested.
was but half executed when the boss cam
up and made him take off the yoke on
,e change. What the result would hav
IN been, had he been left TO himself, admit
IS of discussion. 1t is due to Simon, how
m ever to say that many years Of profouu
.. meditation have but servedto confirm hiI
ia in the original conclusion, that they
n. been 'bleeged to been right"
at Caesar" said planter to his negrt
d. climb up that tree and thin out the bral
g, Ches." The negro showed no dispositic
ID to comply, and upon being pressed for
s. reason, answered, {" Well, look heal
III msssa, if go up dar an fall down al
er broke my neck, dat'll be a tousand do
~ lars out OBJ you pocket. Now why don
Is you hire an Irishman to go up. and dt
ut il he falls an kills hisef. dar won't be I