Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1858-01-23
Trials of q Fat Man.

Irl2ls OF Fat Nan.
The BgV,tio Epujiie has fat CORES pond
eLt who writes that paper frankly thus:
AS | ntimated to YOU, having come to
the conclusion that there was nothing fit to
eat in Buffalo, / started for New York on
Friday last. On the Central Railroad. had
no idea that mun with respectable guam
tity Of lesh was looked upon with any degree
Of surprise outside of your city limits. | only
weigh TIRE h,Htdred ond Hiriy one p0uRRs and
If ! am said TO be AS broad as ! am long, it
certainly was no reason for the ticket agent
at the Buffalo depot inqurirg "sO yoU wish
10 % as .trctGh or as pnss"ngerY Z | told
bin, with considerable usperlty, "as a pas
seHgcr, Of COURSE when he charged me for
tickets for two! and upon my eNpostulat,ug
with him, be very lmpudcutly inquired If |
supposed that any one else could sit in the
same seat occupied. Being aware that it
was a matter of some doubt, ! said no morr,
but heard him muiter somrthing 10 himself
about hogs always going rs freight. as |
walked oil--whlch remark was made, | pre-
sumo, to an omnibus driver. standing near
1t certainly could have had To reference to
me. DO you think it could?
81 got on the cars somewhat ruitled in
temper, aud after crushing two or three
women from Il diameter Of ten feet into about
six inches, and tattenng out an epple.boy
and popcorn vender, so that their iudentity
became a matter Of considerable research, |
finally obtained a seat opposite an old,
scruggy lady and her unmarried daughtcI
They screamed as ! sat down, and was
tempted to expand my lungs in the sane
manner, for the whole seat gave way with
uIe aud deposited me with my wig in u pool
t,hn if,rp -, ct,
unmarried Clrl's lap. Upon eXlricating my
self from the wreck. discovered to my horror
that had split the back of my coat, had
utterly crushed out Of existence three band
boxes and obtained the eternal hate Of the
scrdggy woman and hc- bouy daughter tor
ever. | tried to make my apologies, but
think failed. Ny failure Is easily explained.
for who ever heard Of any man making II
decent apology iu a fractured coat and
head saturated with tobacco juice?
Il then went into another car, in conse-
queucc of the Indignation of the passengers
having been aroused 10y the two women allu-
ded to, and especially us heard gentleman
with short hair aud not very placid face
inquriug if he hadn't better punch him.
Having no doubt that the dim referred to
was me, | made myself as Se'GoRa as possible,
and got into the next ear. The seats in the
car were all weak, ira!l thin :, as four OF
;hem fell to pieces as | sat down on them.
Upon making my complaint TO the conductor
who asked ijthere ,rQS more Mul one ofme
he suggested that had better 60 into the
baggage car, and SIT on one of the express
franks. They being iron-bound, he thought
Meyd stand it, if nothing else would- did
90 IN there. The baggage man. who was not
very polite, asked me what | wanted. |
told him wanted to stay in there lie said
il couldn't be did as, if / came in he would
have to go out there wasn't room for them
1.-TWO trunks and both Of as in that there bag
gage car" | accommodated matters with
him by giving him dollar Zone Of twenty |
had borrowed,) and he agreed to ride on the
outside Of the car, while occupied the
inside. got upon two express trunks, and
was very comtortab!e Indeed, should
have been perfectly so if the baggaCe.man
hadn't kept annoying me. He kept diving
his head INTO the car, and asking if ! was
going to New York; and upon my reply ing
that | WAS, hu would convey my reply to the
brakeman, who evidently had been talking
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