American union. [volume] (Morgantown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1855-1859, 1858-03-05
Written for the american Uhion.
LOOKING GLASS FOR MoRGANT0WN
By Tom Turncrank, Esq, the Machine Bard

Cou'u some but hide behini our shoulder,
themselves, we trow, wo'd like il well
And though in tricks they're getting bolder
Their names just now We may no, tell
II is not strange tina, i'm our town,
We have some people not so sound,
For wire. working they have great reuuwn,
AS well as working under ground.
In towns like ours, there are, of course,
A few who tell big whoppers;
We would there were not some still worse,
'Tis said we have eaves.droppers.
Perhaps from their experience sad,
They do not feel much gratifed,
By stealth to hear, they know It's bad,
Next time they'd better go inside. ...
We have l.oafers, too, BY some It's said,
True no doubt: though it's not strange;
But on their toes we'll lightly tread,
'Tis bad enough to lose their change. ~.
Speaking Of Loafers makes us think
That Grog shops are a dreadful evil,
Where clever fellows 60 to drink,
Please mine host and serve the devil.
We have some men with quite long hair,
Around their mouths Ia filthy fashion)
To tell them all we would not dare
Lest they nigh. get into a passion.
Some Politicians close at hand,
With them we have sot time 10 bo,het-
They Lever will our vote command--
They're Eeither one thing or the other
There are sothe men so very busy,
They nothing scarce have time to do;
we hope they never may so crazy,
From tuning old things into new.
lis SAID we have another class,
Who for pGeience wear smoothest faces
We've heard that watches made of brass,
Some times aIe sold for fines, cases.
Our Merchants, TOO, they mus, be seen,
Who sell US coffee, sugar. spices,
The! clothe us well aud shave us clean,
For ready cash al reduced prices'
All sell the cheapest, and all the most,
Our deares, fiends, they'd have us know
Because they sell US goods al cost
Advertise much but never blow
The next in order with their bills.
Our Doctors come, good clever fellows,
Ilst a. = In IF
Others make blast without bellows.
Sometimes they give us sick'ning potions,
But these, they say, need not alarm,
Should CaIomel not suit your notions,
The Sugar Pills will do no harm.
Now Of the lawyers we take a view,
We hope you'll have no objection
We've some that's great ard honored loo
But every rule has ito exceptions.
Their students too perhaps you know,
Not set quite Redged but like the rest,
10 pleading Doubtless soon will go,
And for big fees they'll do their best.
~ ou' guy )OU VIII una
Some boys and girls quite fond Of sport,
They play chaIades and much incline
To keep late hours, hut never court
Some OF them gayest p'umage weat,
Some moke grea, swels with their big
hoops,
or folly such they should beware
or crnoline make chickeu.coops
they say some green uns are quite rude,
And if they dom, soon better learn.
The fair ones will no doubt conclude,
TO make their checks with bushes burn
With churches we axe woll supplied,
And boast an independent, press,
The STAR sheds Iiab, both far and heof,
We love the Union" nevertheless.
Our Bank they say Is very strong,
With Clerk and Cashier ever ready,
We hope they will ere very long
Shell out the shiners TO the needy.
Our humbugs now we cannot show,
They'll have place in our next glass,
And some you'll see who loudly blow.
Who deal in moonsbine, wind and gas.
lis said our poets are quite green,
Tho ripening fas, we do not doubt;
Should any wan, good meclinr,
We nov ere ready 70 sell out