Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1853-1862, 1858-07-07
Letter from S---L, of Tenn.

KNOXVILLE July ous 4oOo.
JmH-tells a good yarn about one of our "shell
bark lawyers" His client was up on two small
charges rivolous charges, asshell bark designated
them, Forging note of hand and stealing horss)
On running his eye over the jury, he didn't like
their looks, so he prepared affidavit for contin-
usnoe, setting forth the absence in Alabama Of a
principal witness He read it in a whisper 20 the
prisoner who, shaking his head, said, esquire, l
can't swar tn that ar dOckymint." "Why ?" "Kase
hat hqut true" Old shell inflated and exploded loud
enough to be heard thruugout thereon. "What forge
note, an steal boss, an can't swar to lie! On
SIGH sqeamish stumick es thstl I'm done with all
SIGH internal fools" And he left the conscientious
one to his fate.
Iheard scrimmage " lately between one Of our
most popular Railroad conductors and very fast
LADY, something about fare or charge. The coz
ductor wore long roomy, white linen sack coat,
with standing collar, and buttODed up to the chin
The lady won the victory most glOriOusly by the
following brilliant and awfuIly destructive charge
"You are purity fellow, amt you? You are the
fust conductor 1 ever seed gwine about among
passed. owe decent wimmen folks in his shUttdil.
4 int you shomsd owe yersef" think he was, for
he left that car quickly and unbuttOned the shirt
tail coat
Now for old SHE'LL BARK again. Showing what
an unexpected course a A" law case" can take when
it tries itself jim THOMSON was "hed up" for
taring down house, breaking the def, and "fing
in, an oman into mill pond" The case came
up before two Justices of the Peace for noun
tain district. Court was to be held in small log
school house in July. There cloud Of witnesses
and no cloud over the sun while the prisoners guilt
was quite clear, and old Shell very cool. After
soft sOaping the two old specialized gOurd heads
about their intelligence and profound legal ability,
he drew from his saddle bags greasy copy Of
"CObb," and read therefrom that " Whar an emer-
gency arose requiring the temporary absence Of the
defendants counsel, not gWine beysnt four hours
and fourteen minits, that said counsel mout demand
Ito further the ainds oV ustice that all parties to the
case should be put onjer rule wsin his return, an
eff he stsid beyant his time verdick wus tn be given
again his client by the court while onder rule"
Whereupon he claimed to have forgotten book
would be back in two hours-snd demanded the OPP
Grafton Of the rule as the court, witnesses, and
spectators One of the court said "twould be pow
erfuI hot in the house " every well" said old
DQell, We Will ~ Jul AubO bAS uO6 ASAACA IL oAO
field" and ordered the court to the shade Of per-
simmon tree the witnesses under clump of pines
the spectators to the shadeEard of blackberry
thicket the prisoner on a stump and the constable
mounted a mound in general charge of the motley
crowd, each lot separated about forty yards from
the other. Old Shell mounted his horse, and IS he
passed the stump he remarked to the prisoner Jist
es soon es the top of my hat sinks behind ysn hill
du YOU list run like hounds wer srter you, an mix
yerself in that ar thicket an never be seed in these
parts sgin," which order was fully obeyed. The
constable started in chase, but bethOught himself
that the prisoner was but party out of the four,
so he returned to stand guard over the remaining
three. After sWhile the spec sUors broke in
crowd; still it was two to one, and he remained
with the " court" and the Witnesses and the last
Old Shell heard from there he was still in charge,
the " court" exhOrting him to " stand square up tn
his duty eff hit lasted till Gabriel bloWd his horn.
1t is needless to add that old Shell has not practesd
before that court SINCE has he been on that cir
cult. Old Shell is prudent as well as sagseious
have a story of the trials of NJ. D. in collect
ing medical bill from county court against pau
per, which will send by the first safe conveyance.
Yours truly,
s. L, OF TENN.