Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1858-07-01
as It was absurdsto suppose that my own

would ask me foranytnlug tnat was not es-
~sential, I wantied." Insthree months more
the. case was again reached, and after five
daysssaitingiit was called On application
Of The defendant, the case was again post
poned-thistime for a month-on the ground
that his counsel was absent, and my counsel
here's informed me that it was, manifest to
him, the cause Of human justice would ma
t~erially suffer if another ten dollars was not
forthcoming. Thinking that the running
gear of the car Of justice had suffered from
hard usage, I asked him the extent of the
damage, whether it was a lost linchpln ora
broken axle. A protracted wink with both
eyes satisfied me that ~"linehpin" was the
idea, and I give him the ten. The next
day my counsel had on a pairof patent leath'
ers. The mystery that had previously en-
shrouded the .linchpin" was cleared up
Two months since, our case did come to
trial. The witnesses swore in every drec-
ton designated in the formidable list OF ad-
verbs of place. The defendants counsel en-
deavored to press the jury that l was the
biggest scoundrel unhung. So plausible
were his remarks in, this regard, ! was my
self convinced that a. thousand years of re-
pentence in.saekcloth and ashesswould hard
IL suffice to make amends for my terrible IN
Equities. But my counsel put a different
c~oloring on the matter. He demonstrated
beyond all cavil that I was the worst injured
man living, and that there was a foul con-
spiracy ia which everybody, except the
Judge, jury and himself, was engaged, with
the hope of accomplishing my irretrie7able
ruin. Indeed I thought seriously atthe time
of ordering my counsel to commence a suit
against everybody for damages that l expect
ed to- suffer. My virtues he eulogised in
grandiloqueut rhetoric-I felt etheralized-
augelic-I could not realize that | was a
human being deriving subsistence by eating
pork and beans, and the like, in the midst
ola gross and material people. In truth, |
only came to a knowledge Of my bodily ex-
istence when my counsel trod on my eorns
whilst. he was in the midst of a soul-tearing,
air-dishevelling and ~coat-tail agltatlng Pc
r~oration.
The jury rendered a verdict in my favor.
Hurrah! Victory had perched upon my
eagles. Commercial integrity was indicated
the cause of human justic was sustained,
and Ockside was rejoiced. Ny counsel ask
ed me for his fee. I paid it to maketh e
costs as heavy as possible on my vanquished
opponent. Judgment was rendered in my
favor and forthwith an execution was issu-
ed.
After four weeks search, the sheriff In
formed me that he could find nothing to levy
on, except a foundered horse, which the de-
PENDANT was anxious to have. himtake7to
save the expense of keeping him. He con,
veyed to me also the further pleasing intelll-
genee, that he should look to- mel for the costs
of4he suit. These I paid yesterday.
crThis morning Istruckabalauce tosee how
the account stood. Theresult is as follows:
heat him in the judgment.
Thus making the account equalinsa mo-
raj pointof view; r 80,
In a peounialry point of view, it stood
Maid for the claim ss5 90
Ipaid to, counsel in all 100
,Ipaid costs of suit t@EIH& $500
- I lost 10 days, which I estimateat 3D. 90
TOTAL s1s7 90
I received judgment valued i'm.
round numbers at y W
I am out Of pocket S4S7 w
Ny EYE-TEETH ARE CUT. " =.