Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1858-05-14

ready for almost any desperate deed,
and had. more than once--I shudder as
| think of fit-contemplated self-destruc-
ton. But called philosophy, nay,
something higher, and holier, to my aid
religion, and in time became soothcd,
ifnot comforted !; that is, after l knew
May was irrevoca bly, welded.
Two months passed. deemed my
self sufficiently fortified with good resolu.
tons to return once more to my chosen
place Of residence. 1t was high noon
when | drove up the principal street.
A carriage dashed by me,a light vehicle.
In another moment it had turned and
Frederick. Mays husban'. was abreast
! involuntarly drew in my horse. My
friend $ face denoted anguish, intense and
concentrated. For Gods sake. Doctor
Lane, my early friend, do not stop till
you reach Mrs. kendall's My May
lies DEMONSTRATING " he gaspel.-
How ashy pale he was My face
bianched. l felt singuluar tremer.-
He dash d ahead. neither speaking ; and
in fifteen minutes | stood by the couch
of the young bride. That was an awful
h ur. At its close, pressed her white
eyelids over her dub, glazed eyes. All,
Heaven , thought |. kneeling with an
aching heart, can such beauty be dead !:
And still, for all, there was triumph in
the feeling-triumrh until bcheId the
awful grief of the bcreavei husband
saw the biz drops bead like blood, his
pale. broad fJrehesd-almost forced him
from the inanimate body to which he
hang with the grasp Of despair, ciaspins
her to his bosom-kisslng the white lips
the winter checks, even the gold locks
that lay damp and uncuried over her
shoulders.
# And, when left that house of mourn
ins. was it not strange the calmness
iel, settling over my spiri, ! Could
this thought, even in fantest traccry,
pass, through my mind at such a time !:
We'll. she is not mine ; and neither is
ste his | am glad that. as she could
not be mine only, none but death can
claim her now' fear had conscience
rightly applied her torch, she might
have read those scathlng words written
on the crimson portals of my heart.
The next day, went over to be pre-
sent a, the funeral services and still
felt tha. sorrowful happiness. Poor
j Frederick was at times raving. then
stupid with his great grct. The mourn
crs assembled the beautiful dead lay
robed in satin in her coffin already the
large parlor was filed with weeping
friends. took my station by the head
of the corpse. With unutterable tender
ness, yc. without tear. | gazed upon
that heavenly counterance. 1t locked
not like stern death, but soft and smil-
ing slumber There were all her Young
companions present. village maidens
robcd in white, whose silvery voices
Joined in 4 simple funeral song. But
oh. how those voices wavered, trcmh!ei, d,
until t,ars and sobs choked out their
muse, and one mournlll, heart rendng
will sounded through the room.
At last, the hoary ead ed man of God
urose to pray Neser heatd petition
so moun,ully tender, so simple, so pow
erfu. How the rcumstanccs under
which God was pleased to etll her, just
as it were, standing on the threshold OF
her happy life, and looked towards the
rose-colorcd future
/ still kept my place at the head of
the coffin. My eyes, full ot tears now,
never once moved from that holy face.
Was it fancy: | thought the dear
features grew dim. My sight wss falling
or-l bent closer to the corpse drew
back. wiped my eyes, and looked again.
God Of mercy God OF compassion !!
what sent wild shock through my
frame, and struck my Grain as with a
hand of fire | reete3. tell almost
upon the coffin. Thre was moisture
npon the glass moisture tHat, ~hen
applied my sleeve would not come Off
moisture upon the inside ot the glass;
As was customary every face was bowed
humbly towards the earth III prayer
What must | do: There were fearful
risks to run. My knees trembled and
knocked rogcther my heart beat against
my side till my body rocked like a pen
dulum. The voice of the pastor whistled
in my ear Each moment was an hour !;
and yet-the conflict - that horrible
temptation. warning with my better
nature, came again. 1t was awful
awful TIkept my silence, she ~as
stu Me bride of death, and as much
mine as another's if spoke she was
again the wife cfmy rival.
dare not recall some of my emotions
now. could not have been myself
when that fiendish temptation beset me,
and whispered me to let the dark grave
claim her, if | might not.
The perspiration well out from every
pore; but the agony was past. l could
have throttled the old pastor that he did
not cease yet | ared for the life OF the
poor husband, should he know the truth
too suddenly. There was tinsing
from my head to my fingers eu1s. l
shook like an aspen leaf
Amen = Oh how 1 thanked God
for that sound | clung to the coffin,
for one moment as weak and helpless as
an infant.
The chief mourners were called first,
SO they might be spared the shock OF
behoiding the dear one borne out before
their eyes. The poor husband tottered
out supported on each side. What
were my feelings as he passed me p
Next went the sobbing mother. Now
was my time 'Qpicl friends neigh
bors y | gaspcd ;-'call the sexton in /!
Now, man, off with the cofiia lid For