Nebraska advertiser., 1858-01-21
FHH and Facts.

The actions of man tell Of what kind
is, as do the fruit of tree.
Make other mems shipwrecks your sea-
marks.
Gaming is the child of Avarice, and
the father of Despair,
Tothe wicked the virtues of other men
are always objects of terror.
God gives a ready passport at any gate
except that of Heaven.
Handsome Circassian girls are selling
at c onstantinople at S25.
Life consists not in mere existence, but
in the well-spending Of our time,
What is more beautiful and poetical
than the child's idea of ice-'Water gone
to Sleep
A young lady being told that her lover
was suddenly killed, exclaimed 80! that
splendid gold watch of his give methat
give me something to remember him
BY!
'Charhe,' said young lady to her To-
yer, there is nothing interesting in the
paper to-day, is there, dear?'
No, love, but hope there will, one
day, when we both shall be interested
The young lady blushed assent.
An afectionate mother in Syracuse is
: feeding her daughter on pickles, to pre-
vent her being eaten up by the young
men, who call her TOO sweet to live.' You
see, boys, what comes of IL
Mr.. Jones, don't you think marriage is
a means of grace?' Certainly, ANYTHING
is a means of grace that leads to repent
tance. Scene closes with a broom
handle,
An excited member once announced tc
the Connecticut Legislature, steamboat
kexplosion as asfollows =
'Spister Meaker and ledgers of the
p membismature, the ElIiver ellsworth has
\ billed her buster
A Vermonter crossing the Atlantic, il
Z the height Of a gale which lasted sixty
j hours, and looked dangerous, came OF
: deck and cOolIy remarked, that it wa
lucky he did not any stock In the compa
J ny which had insured the steamer
e An Irishman, in a sketch of his life
t says 'he ran away Searly from his fathe,
IS because he discovered he was only hi
s uncle. Another in writing a biograph,
n of Robespierre, concluded with the fol
Il lowing sentence This extraordinary MAJ
a left no children behind him, except hi
a Brother, who was killed at the sam,
J. time y
. If you want to see a black squall, jus
. look at a negro baby attacked with th'
collie.
If honest men are the salt of the earth
o pretty girls may be said to be the sugar.
: What kind of bands do the younl
e ladies like best Husbands, to be sure
= Why are Shanghai roosters like earl,
= spring flowers? Because they are crow
!, cusses.
e A young ladies' boarding school is hk
4 garden hot-bed. The. tenderest plant
grow there, but the foundation is rotten
Though lost to sight to memory dear,
n as the maid said to her lover, wheI
e his face was buried in beard and whis
r kers.
f An artist painted a cow and a cabbag
a so natural that they had to be separate
d the COW having commenced eating tn
cabbage.
: Three things as good as their betters-
dirty water to extinguish fire, a homel
le wife to blind man, and a wooden swor
to coward
The man who couldn't trust his fee
ings' is supposed to do business strictly 9
the cash principle.
+ + 1t was observed Of deceased laxye
: that he left but few effects. No wol
- DER said wag, 'he had but fe
: causes t
nd DO you drink hail in America a.
On asked cocRney. 'Hail, no,-but v
n drink thunder and lightning, said Il
Yankee.
When the heartis out of tune the to-
nd que seldom goes right lli.-a1
Speak to old men Of the past-to Il
middle-aged Of the present-and to d
os young of the future
What is the difference between a bU
no cher and a gay young lady? The fc
al a mer kills to dress, whilst the latter DIRE
.ht ses to kill.
We The best catch at dice is not 10 play.
Mr.. Smith, the hogs are getting II
your corn-feld.' Never mind, Billy,
am sleepy; corn won't hurt 'em.'
Ily An old Greenland seaman said
could readily believe that crocodiles sh
iears, for he had often seen whales BIZ