The Ashland union. [volume] (Ashland, Ashland County, Ohio) 1854-1868, 1858-06-30
MR. BLIFK1ys, BABY.

Unmarried men will read the expert
ence of Mr.. Blifkins with interest, those
who have experienced the felicities of
matrimony with sympathy and feeling
but here it is:
The first baby was great institution.
As soon as he came to this "breathing
world" as the late VIM. ShakspeAre
has it, he took command in our house.
Everybody was subseryient to him
The baby was tho balance wheel that
regulated everything. He regulated
the temperature, he regulated me. For
the first six months of that precious ex.
istenoe he had me up on an average Of
six times a night. "Mr Blifkins, says
my wife, "bring that light here, do; the
baby looA strangely; Pm SO afraid it
will have a 6tl' OF course the baby
lay sucking his fist Ike little white
bear, as be was. Mr.. Blifkins,'' said
my wife, 81 think feel a draught of
air; wish you would get up and see if
the window is not open little, because
baby might get sick.' Nothing was
the matter with the window, as I knew
very we'll "Mr. BIifkins, /" says my wife,
just as | was going to sleep again, sthat
iomP, 90 JOu uaNo pidCcu ~, buAucb ut'
rectly in baby's eyes--strange that you
should have no more consideration. -
l arranged the light and went to bed
again. Just.as was dropping to sleep
again, "Mr. Blifkins," said my wife,
did you think to buy that broma to day
for the baby?" "My DEAR" said I,
Twill you do me the injustice to believe
that could overlook a matter so essen.
tial to the comfort of that inestimable
child?" She apologized very handsome.
Iy, but made her anxiety the scape goat.
l forgave her, and without saying .
word more to her, addressed myself
to sleep. "Mr. Blifkins. - said my wife,
shaking me, 'syou must not snore so, you
will wake the baby" sJest so-jest
So" said I, half asleep thinking was
Solon Single. "Mr Blifkins,n said my
wife twill you get up and hand me the
warm Cruel from the nurse lamp for
baby' the dear child! ifit wasn't for its
mother 1 don't know what he would do.
How can you sleep so, Mr.. Blifkins?"
Il suspect, my dear, "said I, "that is
because I am tired" 'aOh it's very
we'll for you men to talk about being
tired, said my wife, 81 don't know what
you d say if you had to toll and drudge
like poor woman with q baby"
tried to soothe her by telling her she
bad no patience at all, and got up for
the posset. Having aided in answering
the baby's requirements, stepped into
bed again, with the hope of sleeping.-
MIR. Blifkins," " said she in a louder key.
I said nothing "Oh, DEAR" said that
estimable woman in great apparent an
guish, "how can man. who has arri.
we'd at the honor of live baby of his
own, sleep, when he don't know that
the dear creature will live till morning?"
I remained silent, and, after while,
deeming that Mrs. Bifkink had gone
to sleep, stretched my limbs for re.
pose How leng slept don't know,
but I was awakened by furious jab in
the forehead by some sharp instrument
started up, and Mrs. Blifkins was sit
ting up in bed adjusting some portion
Of the baby's dress She had, in state
Of semi somnolence, mistaken my head
for the -llow, which she customarily
used f r nocturnal pincushion. pro-
tested against such treatment in some
what round terms, pointing to several
perforations in my forehead She told
me 1 should willingly bear such trifing
things for the sake oft the baby. | insist.
Ell upon it that didn't think my duty as
a parent to that young immortal requir-
ed the surrender of my forehead for
pincushion. This was one of my nights
passed in this way. The truth was
that baby was what every other mans
first baby is, an MISUNDERSTANDING and
unlimited. Such was the story of Blif-
kius as he related it to us, the other
day. 1t is little exaggerated picture
of every mans experience.