Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1858-06-17
This intimate association of husband

This intimate association of husband
and wife-nay, this identity-can never
be preserved while either is blabbing OF
the other. A man who tells his neigh
bors that his wife is extravagant, that she
is wasteful, that he never finds her al
home, that she will never go out with
him, or that she is or does anything
which he desires her not to be or do.
does a shameful thing, and a cruel thing,
besides making an ass of himself. A
woman who berates her husband faults,
who tells the neighbors how much lie
seeks the society of other women, how
much he spends for cigars, how late he
is out at night, how lazy he is, how lit
tie he cares for what interests her, how
stingy he is with his money and all that
sort of thing, sins against herself, and
consents, or voluntarily e~nlists, to pub
lish that which is her own shame. n
husband and wife have no business to
tell one another's faults to anybody but
one another. They cannot do it with
settled in private, between themselves;
and in all public places, and among
friends they are to preserve towards one
another that nice consideration and en-
tire respectfulncss which their relation
enjoins. For they are one in the law;
and for a man or woman to publish the
truth that they are not one in fact, is to
acknowledge that they are living in the
relation Of an unwilling lover and Il COM
pulsory mistress. Isn't that disgusting
enough?
A great deal of evil might be pre-
vented between you if you would allow
your affection to give itself natural ex
preston. 1 know of husbands so proud,
and stiff, and surly, that they never have
a kiss, or a caress, or a fond word for
their wives whom they really love. l
know such husbands who have most
loveable wives-wives to whom u single
tender demonstration, that shall tell to
their hearts how inexpressibly pleasant
their faces and their society are, and
how fondly they are loved, would be
better than untold go!d-wives to whom
carcsses are sweeter than mama, and
fond words more musical than robin
songs in the rain. They go through
life starving for them-bearing buds
of happiness upon their bosouls that
must be kissed into bloom or wither
and fail. Yet the cast iron husband
goes about his business without even
accourtcous good morning." eats his
meals with immense regularity, provides
for his family cxcmplarily, imagines
that he is an excellent husband, and,en-
tertains a profound contempt for silly
people who arc fond of one another
Heaven be thanked that there are some
in the world to whose heart the barnacles
will not cling. Heaven be thanked for
the young old boysand the young old
sirls-boys IN girls forever-who, uu-
til the evening of life falls upon them, in
terchange the sweet caresses that call
back the days of courtship and early
marriage! Thank Heaven that my wife
can never grow old; that so long as a lock
adorns her temples, brown or gray, my
fingers shall toll with it, that SO long as L
can sit there shall be a place for her on
my knee, and that SO long as can whis-
per and she hear, she shall know my fond
confession that her soul is next to mine
linked to mine-mine!
1 wish in this letter to impress upon
you the idea which few married people
apparently thoroughly comprehend, that
you-husband and wlie-are .ne-that
you have no separate interests; that you
can have no sepcrate positions in socie-
ty, hat you should desire none, and
it is within your ability, and is most
imperatively your duty to be happy to-
gether. In order to be what you should
be to each other, and in order to be
happy yourselves-in your own hearts
you should begin right. You should
be willing at all times to bear one an
burdens; and, in fact, know of
no better rule for accomplishing the end
L seek for you than by your constantly
studying and ministering to the happi-
ness of each other. SeltishHess is the
bane of all life, and especially of mar
ried life; and if Il husband and wife de-
vote themselves to one another's happi-
ness, relinquishing their own selfish
qualification for that end, the task is ac-
complished-the secret solved. The
path of such a pair is paved with gold.
Their life is a song of praise. All good
angels are about them, bearing %consola-
tions for every sorrow, antidotes for ev-
cry bane, rewards for every labor, and
strength for every trial. This is essen
tial marriage, and, as Paul Dembey said
when Mrs. Pipchin told him there was
nobody else like her, shat is a very
good thing"