The Council Bluffs nonpareil. [volume] (Council Bluffs [Iowa]) 1857-1867, 1858-08-14

volumes, did l say? 1t speaks ten
thousand libraries-for the intelligence and
good feeling OF our locomotive countrymen,
and, as faithful chroniclers, we are bound
to record the fact-that not single iudi-
yidual ever applied for the two shillings,
they had been SO generously and disinter-
estedly rendered, every one being actually
contented with going the whole distance
gratis, and with being thanked into the bar
gain! -s..-.>.1@.
One day, however, a long, thin, lanksided
mahogany faced down easter, CHANGED to read
the mammoth handbill with the ponderous
capitals; and without moments hesitation,
he decided upon bestowing his corporeal
substance snugly in the back seat Of the
"People's Line" and it SO fell out that be
was the only passenger. - -:4
The down-easter was talkative, prying,
speculative, gimcrack of a fellow, who pro-
pounded more questions in single minute,
than one could answer in whole hour; and
in less time than you could say Jack Rob-
inson, he was at the bottom Of all the diff
Guilty, and in possession of every particular
respecting the rival line. He was ssfree of
speech and merry" joked with the proprie-
tor; ridiculed the Flying Dutchman, called
him a cockalorum, and finally denounced
him as an inflated, overgrown, purse proud
capitalist; who advocated system Of ex-
elusive privileges contrary to the spirit of
our glorious institutions, and dangerous to
the liberties Of the country!-and he even
weat so far as to recommend that town
meeting should lie Immediately called to
put the old blockhead down, and Danish him
from the sunshine of the public favor for
ever.
81 wM put him down!' said the driver.
"And he shall stay put, when he is down"
replied Jonathan, with an approving nod of
the head.
At the various stopping places, Jonathan,
who was not a member of any of the tenn
perance societies, for those institutions were
not founded at the time of which we are
show his good fellowship, but
with no other motive, did not scruple to
drink sundry villainous bar. room COM
pounds, at the expense of his new acquaint-
ance, who, that day, was SO overjoyed to
find that the stage Of the "Monopoly" was
compelled to 60 the whole route entirely
empty, that his hilarity und flow of bolster
our humor knew no bounds, and he snapped
his fingers, and said he did not care fig
for the expense-not he!
"Here's to the Peoples Line!' drank JON
athan.
"The Peoples Line foreverr' shouted the
driver.
"And confusion to the Monopoly" re-
joined the down-easter.
"With all my hcartw echoed the friend
of the people.
''The Flying Dutchman is deficient in
public spirits said the landlord, warlike
little fellow, who was maj jor in the militia:
s'Behind the ago we live in." remarked
justice of the peace.
"And he deserves to run the gauntlet
from Brooklyn to Jamaica for violating the
constitution" responded all the patriotic
inmates of the bar-room.
81 say, mister! you're fine specimen of
Young America! said Jonathan, us his com
panion paid the reckoning, resumed the
ribands, and touched up the leaders gayly.
''You deserve encouragement and you shall
have it. Ipromise it to you, my lad con-
tinued he, as he slapped the Peoples Line
on the shoulder like an old and familiar
faaFFssqathit qt hitah ahEe h a h9 9 fnSS
march of improvement, and as he will new
er be able to overtake it, | shall hencefor-
ward look upon him as mere abstract cir
cumstance, unworthy of the least regard or
notice."
Jonathan weighed every word of the last
sentence before he pronounced it, for he was,
upon the whole, rather cute chap, and had
no notion of letting his friendship for the
one party inv olive him in q lawsuit for Ii
be! with the other.
The overjoyed proprietor thanked him
heartily, for his good wishes and for the ex-
preston of his contempt for the old MonOp-
oly, and the numbering vehicle thundered on
towards Jamaica.
Arriy ed at last at the termination of the
journey, the driver embarrassed his horses,
and put them up for the night. When he
turned to take his own departure, however,
he observed that Jonathan, who after all
was said and done, candor compels us to
acknowledge, had rather hang dog sort Of
q look, seemed fdgety and discontented
that he fingered about the stable, and fol-
lowed him like shadow wherever he turn
ed his steps.
"Do you stop at this town, or do you 60
further?" asked the driver.
81 shall 90 further, when you settle the
triHe YOU owe me, replied Jonathan, with q
peculiar knowing, but serious expression.
ssThat owe you?''
"Yes-is there not something between
us.o
s'Not that know Of"
"Whv, mister. what short mem'ry you've
got-you should study muemonics, to put
you in mind of your engagements"
s'What do you mean? There must be
some mistake!'
ooh, but there's no mistake at ALL" said
Jonathan as he pulled handbill from his
pocket, unfolded it with care, and smooth
cd it out upon the table. 1t was the iden-
tical mammoth handbill with the ponder
Gus capitals!
"That's what mean. Look there. Mr..
Peoples Line. There | have you, large as
life-and no mistake whatever. That's your
note of hand-its fair business transac-
tion-and will trouble you for the twenty
FIVE cents, in less than no time; so shell 1t
out, you 'tarnal crittur."
"My Christian friend, allow me to ex-
plain. if you please. | confess that it's in
the bill; but, bless your simple soul, nobody
ever thinks Of asking me for it,
sDid you everG' calculated Jonathan
Now that's what call cutting it a little toe
fat! but its nothing to me. | attend to
nobody's affairs but my own; and II other
people are such ninny- hammers as to for:
give you the debt, that's no reason why
should follow their bad example. Here are
your conditions, and want the mopuses.-
A pretty piece of business, truly, to en-
deayor to do your customers out of then
lust and legal demands in this manner. Blu.
| can't afford to lose the amount, and
won't! What! havn't freely given you my
patronage-iberally bestowed upon you thu
pleasure of my company, and consequently
afforded you triumph over that narrow
contracted sMonopoly?' and now you refuse
to comply with your terms of travel, ane
pay me my money, you ungrateful varmlnt
YOU, Come mister, its no use putting word
together in this way. I'll expose you tt
soid Monopoly and everybody else, If 70,
don't book up like an honest fellow; and
won't leave the town until im satisfied
.sYou won't?' -
| NO. -F-
sAre you serious?'
sGuess you'll find am.' >
tAnd you 0iH have the money"
sAs sure as you stand there
| sWhat, the twenty i've cents!'
SEvorv fraction of it,