The Council Bluffs nonpareil. [volume] (Council Bluffs [Iowa]) 1857-1867, 1858-06-19

Il
"Yet once more / would blow and the music divine
i would bring the third time an exquisite bliss
You would lay fair cheek to this brown one of mine
And your lips stealing past it, would give me kiss
The maiden laughed out in her innocent glee-
"What fool Of yourself with the whistle you'd make
For only consider how silly 'twouid be,
To sit there and whistle for-what you might takeP
|
From Porter's Spirit Of the Times
| COLONEL GREENBERRY'S TRIAL.
MAco, Texas, Feb.
DEAR SPIRrT:-We have some rather spicy
occurrences here sometimes, and it may be
within your province to generate ht.ie
amusement for your numerous readers, by
giving them a detailed account of the trial
of the distinguished Col. Greenberry, late
of Kentucky, former friend and immediate
associate Of Major John j. Wilkins, Of the
CITY Of Augusta, in the State of Georgia.
The Colonel is a rare vegetable of the genus
homo. He has seen about sixty or seventy
winters (or rather, summers, for life has
been one gildered summer day to him. stout,
hale and hearty, light of heart and joyous as
boy of eighteen, ever foremost among the
boys in frolics by day and midnight revels-
indeed, the Colonel possessed all the inter-
esting peculiarlties of youth. Then, too,
he is generous as the sun, with hospitality
limitless as his admiration of great men,
10 this last characteristic, every lover of
tripe and domestic whisky can testify. l
tell you dear Spirit, it makes the gastric
interlineations of my stomach grippe, to
think of the Colonel's accosting me on the
street, with Some round tonight, We'll
have tripe for tea and such tripe. Were
Jupiter sat tea and could get taste of it,
he would kick over his nectar cup, throw
down his ambrosia with 'Go-'way, sugar.
you've lost-your-sweet' look, that would
make the gods laugh.
But the Colonel's hospitality ceases not
with the satation of the craving of the pail
ate. After tripe, comes 'the feast Of rea-
son and the flow of soul.' The domestic
whisky is uncorked. The rosy god of glad
ness flies with dewy wing from heart to head,
and delightful visions of former grandeur
fit before the Colonel's mind. Past asso-
Citations, the bright scenes of his brilliant
career crowd around him. Colonel This,
and General That loom out on the horizon
of the Colonel's fancy, and he becomes the
rehearser of many wonderful and strange
events-adventures by food and field, po-
ltical assemblages, shrewd fnanciering, rail-
! road meetings, barbecues and religious mus
ters, quorum, Oninium mdgnunl pars titit.
Possessing these peculiarities, together with
development of the bump of marvellous.
ness and self-esteem which Gall or Spurz-
helm would put down at thirty five, is it not
strange that the Colonel should, on divers
occasions become the victim of the fun of
| I,fa nd hn -
among the many hoaxes of which he has been
the hero, is the following-which propose
to give you. Some time in the month OF
September, two young Hotspurs of our
laws which govern 5- Gentlemen, r,..o-..hiy q
agreed to arrange a little dispute by an ap-
peal to the honorable arbitrament of pistols
and Coffee The Colonel's well-known du.
eling proclivities, his penchdnt for the su'
perylsion of such matters, rendered the Sc.
curing of his services, to each of the belli.
cerents, the great desideratum, the sine quo
non of success. But the Colonel, with al
of his attainments, not being endowed Will
the attribute of ubiquity, could not distri
butte himself to the filling of both stations
and it being wisely suggested that it woult
be sadly unequal fight, for the Colonel
to throw the entire weight of his services
and influence on one side, he proposed al
equitable compromise, by offering his ser
vices equally to each: which was the NOR
readily agreed to, when he assured then
that he could cite two distinguished prece
dents of duels fought, wherein only one Sc
cond officiated, one in the State of Kentucky
and the other in the City of Augusta, in tn
State of Georgia. 1t is proper to state
however, that the difficulty was am cably ad
iusted previous to the time agreed upon TO
the hostile meeting. But, kindly consider
ing that disappointment to the Colone
would be merciless inhiction upon the ten
der sensiblities of his vanity, they deter
mined that the fight should 60 on. For al
though he had offered, at the outset, a twen
ty-fve dollar trlpe supper if they woul'
comp still, after the rubicon was passed
nothing short Of blood would satiate tn
Colonel's chivalric thirst-nothng less thai
, the explosion of pistol would afford
safety-valve sufficient for the escapement o
the extraordinary ebullition of steam whicl
the occasion, together with its retrospecto
suggestive tendencies, had generated in tn
heated caldron of his brain.
1t was a calm September evening, at tn
hour of twilight, when the parties, accom-
panied by some twenty or thirty flookers Of
in Venice led by the gallant Colonel, re
paired to the margin of the river. The Col
onel, duly impressed with the Importance o
the responsibilities of his position, delivere'
himself of an appropriate address, explana
tory of the modus operdndi in conducting
the 'high and honorable principles of duel
ling
Now, it had not escaped the Colonel's vi
GLANCE, that the State Of Texas, more wis
than chivalrous, had enacted law strictl
prohibiting, and making penal the practic
of duelling. But he had become pregnan
with the notion, that to constitute case o
q q duelling within the statute,' it was indis
g pensably necessary that the word freshoul
be given. By an astute process of reason
ing, it occurred to the Colonel's mind, T.
instruct his friends, the bcllgerents, not t
wait for the word .f,e, but actually to fir
at the word three, and thus he could not b
held ::amenable as accessor to this hug
crime against the 'peacc and dignity of tn
State Having drilled them to his satisfac
ton, he measured the ground, and they too
!, their respective places, with double-barrel
: led shot-suns heavily charged with powde
and-paper.
Col.-'Are you ready, gentlemcn?'
Parties.-'Ready' (and up raises one hi
gun to shoot before the word.)
Col. (drawing loaded pistol, hithert
concealed stop, sir, stop! By heavens
TN give you blizzard, if you act interrogd
, tory to the high and honorable principle Q
duclling. Understand me, sir, that is nc
the way these things are done up in Ken
lucky; there We
Dellnquent.-'l understand you, Colone
I'll come up 90. X the next crack
Col.-'Well, again, gentlemen, are o
ready9'
Par.ies.-'Ready.'
Col -sRemember, at the word three
}, One, ttco, three
Bang, bang 90 the guns. almost simnlts