True American. [volume] (Steubenville [Ohio]) 1855-1861, 1858-08-04
How Quackenbos Failed.
BY PAUL LEAN.

BY PAUL LEAN.
Mr.. Quackenbos- first let me describe
him--is iall--perhqps long would be the
more applicable word-say six feet two
in his stockings, with cone-like head,
inordinate firmness forming its apex,
which organ stands unmatched, palpable
and grim, having by its own impetus
forced its way alike through hair and all
surrounding opposition of friends or
family. The base of the cone is well
mossed over with hirsute underground,
thick and bristly, through the interstices
and shaven parts of which the gentleman
shows himself to be what the fshwomen
of the lower market would call remark.
ably red in the gills. His lips are long
slender, opening and shutting when he
speaks with bi.valvular motion. His
nose is large, prominent and sonorous,
eyes small, grey and twinkling, forming
altogether man whom deeply read
physiognomist would warily watch before
reposing in him any important trust.-
Mr.. Quackenbos. however, dresses in
broadcloth of the finest material, and his
linen is of the whiIest, while massive
and valuable diamond ring, blazes on the
fourth digit of his left hand. and a bland
smile plays forever on his thin lips. By
these signs the unwary are disposed to
take him for what the outer man repre-.
sets himself, regardless of the warning
that lies hidden in those scintillating orbs
of grey.
Mrs. Quackenbos, the merchants bet.
ter-half, (Mr. Quackenbos is a merchant
on charge, or was before he failed, is
what the whole world--that is her worlt
l--wnuld with one voice pronounce ,
splended.looking woman. Glittering il
jewerly, rustling in silk, lusirous will
newness, floating in waving laces from
cosllest looms. Mrs. Quackenbos pro.
menades her palaiial room in all the bra.
very of well-preserved middle-age.
Mrs. Quackenbos. ambitions of shining
in the luminous world of fashion, has long
nursed pet project Of spending a season
in the gay French metropolis, and one in
the less gay but more aristocratic one oI
the kingdom Of the Three Isles, to say
nothing Of the lesser European courts.
This desire other heart Mr.. Quacken'
bos had long frustrated on the tiresome
plea Of not being able to support the
enormous expense Of such tour. With
patient heart, the wise lady, like a du.
tiful wife, swallowed her secret wishes,
therefore, and resolved to bide her time,
and the favoriDg tide of circumstances.
This tide, however like the "good
time coming" Of which we hear so much
but which never manifests itself, remained
at the neap with very little change Of con
dition, until of "a sudden the commercial
sky frightened, the full moon shone forth
the high tide was steadily advancing, ,wher
- crash the whole bubble burst, the tide
receded, the moon declared herself insol
vent and hid her diminished head undel
adverse clouds, and where commercial
prosperity had regued commercial adver
sity stared all in the eyes. Mems faces
on change looked long and blue-louges
and bluest of all was that Of Mr.. Quack
enbos.
"Dreadful times these, Mr.. Quacken
bos," said Bear fresh from caved.in wal
street.
"TenibleW replied Mr.. Quackenbos
a gleam from his twinkling grey eye
falling upon the feeced Bear.
"Awful crisis !" calculated the crest
fallen gambler in stocks, sand how sudder
it took us all unawares. By the way, il
Twistemall likely to weather the storm!'
"The firm went down about half an hou
since, and Hungerworth bids fair TO follow
Twistemall's liabilities are estimated a
somewhere in the vicinity of a million.
And Mr., Quackenbos, as he uttered tn,
above, let his eyes snap with a sharI
glance full upon the disheartened Bear.
"You seem to keep up a good hear
and unquailing courage, in spite Of depres
sing tines" said the lacymose decrier o
stocks.
"Why, yes,'' responded Mr.. Quacken
bos, considering all Wall stree, ha
shown the white feather, and all the bank
have gone under, proving themselye
worse than rotten, and that there is not
merchant on change who has not already
gone TO smash, but is trembling in hi
shoes, ! am in pretty good spirits.
always had great deal Of nerve; thougl
| tel, pretty blue this morning, but an
resolved to face the music, lei the tune b,
Yankee Doodle or the Dead March il
Saul" And the merchants smile grew
more bland, while the glitter Of bis small
eyes would have reminded the crest.fallel
Bear Of the similar shining Jewels in III
headiofthe toad, had he been in moo
for taking observations. 81
Meanwhile, the times grew more ihrea
ening hourly as each hour told the down
fall Of some mighty establishment bui
upona foundation Of paper and moon
\ shine. Isss Ss
4 "ltis those cursed specuIasorsin rail
roads," cried one. y i
"Itis all The banks" grDWled another