The Bedford gazette. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1805-current, 1858-12-24


cued from the SLAYER Echo, by The U. States
brig Dolphin, during their brief sojourn in the
port OF Charleston. The following is said 10
have been a most comical scene
Among The Echo's living cargo, every one
of whom, be if remembered, were in the con-
dtion in which they entered the world, and
under no obligation TO the tallors or mantuama-
kers' art, was woman who was distinguished
/ from the rest by her evident natural brightness
and superior looks. Moreover, she was dressed,
not, probably, after the fashion of our Broadway
bellies, but dressed differently from her compan-
ions nevertheless and like all true women, in
such condition, she felt and evinced her
superiority. She actually had on a par Of
gloves, which she wore at all hours, with
evident pride in her costume, and feIt that
she was in ''iull tags" She was called, par
erceiience, ssthe Queen" and her story getting
abroad At Charleston, some ladies requested ard
obtained permission for her 10 visit them. 4
loose dress was accordingly furnished her, TO
cover her other Deficiencies Of the article of clo-
thing, and she was landed from one oil The boats
and conveyed TO the house of a prominen; resi-
dent of Charleston. There, the servant was
ordered 70 dress the queen in hoops, broad en-
ough for dame Of uppertendom, and faun-
ting, gay dress. She was much astouished and
pleased with the dress, but more with the hoops,
which she would endeavor to catch as she nr-
ned round and round, uttering ou;landish cries.
She also exhibited some inclination constantly
10 examine more closely INTO the material be-
meath heI outer dress, but as gentlemen were
present, she was prudently prevented from
gratifying this natural curiosity. Alter spen-
ding some hours ashore, she was conveyed to the
beach by a number OF her entertainers.
The boat could not reach high water mark
aud lay some distance out in the water. The
Queen shook hands all around W itll her friends
and then going 10 the waters edge, surveyed
the boat for an instant, and after waving last
adieu, suddenly hoisted dress, hoops, under
clothes and all, like huge sun bonnet over
her head, and quietly waded out 10 the boat.
This reversal Of the purpose Of clothing startled
the spectators, and there was a most sudden
and iauJhabie rush from the Oeach.
NJozh was brought before a country
squire for stealing hog, and three witnesses
being examined swore that they saw him steal ii.
A wag having volunteered as counsel for Josh,
knowing the scope of the squire's brain, arose
and addressed him as follows 'May it please
your honor, can establish this mans honesty
beyond the shadow of doubt Tor / have
twelve witnesses ready TO swear that they did
not see him steal it," The squire rested his
head for a few moments upon his hands, as if.
in deep thought, and then with great dignity,
arose, and brushing back his hair, said ''If
there are twelve who did not see him steal il
and only three that did, I discharge the prison.
err Clear the room )"
TlTLEs-A lieutenant in the service, by the
name of Broom, was advanced 10 a captaincy,
and naturally addressed as Capt. Broom. One
of his friends persisted in calling him plain
Broom, much to his annoyance, and one day,
having done so for the iorieth time, Broom
said:
1 you will please remember, sir, that [ have
handle 10 my name
sAh p said his tormenor, SO you have
well, Broom-hande, how are you?'
DYING IrsELF-Harry H., OF Providence,
tells good story of young man who had a
light and inCipient moustache. One day,
lingering the few hairs, he said to Harry ::
s'Had'nt better dye this moustache ?'' E'Oh
no." replied Harry, ''let il alone and ii will
die ITSELF"
Dull TooLs.-Said one Student 10 another,
whom he caught swinging a scythe most lusti-
ly in a field OF stout grass, Frank, who makes
YOU work for living 4 A fellow with your
talent and ability should not be caught engaged
in hard labor. mean TO get my living by my
wits
sWell, Bill, you can work with duler tools
better than oan,' was the reply.
A doctor returned coat TO tailor because
il did not fit him. The tailor seeing the doctor
at the funeral OF one OF his patients, said
"Ah, doctor, you're happy man.
s'Why so!'' said the doctor.
oBecause," replied The tailor, ''you never
5 have any OF your bad work returned on your
hands,"
new stove has been invented for the com
fort of travellers; il is to be put under the feet,
: with a mustard-plaster on the head, which
draws the heat through the whole system.
A Yankee editor ont west says: "The march
, of civilization is onward-onward like the slow
but intrepid step of ackass to peck of oats y
WHY bad man better lose his arm ihan d
leg? Because losing his leg, he loses something