Meigs County telegraph. [volume] (Pomeroy [Ohio]) 1848-1859, 1858-08-03
Git 8its.

EyLet us enjoy the present, we shall
have trouble enough hereafter.
RB-The anxiety that man feels for
the want of funds ia called capital punish
ment.
Gg-Why are hoops like an obstinate
man? Because they often stand out about
trifes.
EE-A French comedian has brought
out new farce, entitled, GA journey
round my wife"
Eg-Why is man in difficulties llke,an
ostrich in wet weather? Cos he can't
find the dust to cover his bill.
ny-1n spite of the exhortations of all
the feminine orators, all women arc more
or less addicted to their glass.
GgrWhy is fly one of the tallest of
insects Ans. Because he stands over
six feet without shoes or stockings.
iTE-What is the difference between q
bare head and hair bed? One fees for
shelter and the other is shelter for tleas.
EB"A lady fixed the following letters
in the bottom of her -four barrel, and then
asked her husband to read them o G
q M II.
Eg-Like provisions, dresses are coming
down. The sign before the door Of a
mantuamaker's shop, reads thus Dresses
made lower than ever"
EB-What is tho difference between an
attempted homicide and Wiltshire hog
butchery? One is an assault with inyent
to kill, and the other is kill with intent
TO salt.
E.y-An incorrigible wag, who had lent
n minister horse, which ran away and
threw his clerical rider, thought he should
have some credit for his aid in spreading
the gospel"
GB- Some genius has conceived the
brilliant idea to press all the lawyers into
military service in case of war--because
their charges are SO great that no one could
stand them.
Gss- One argument in the British Par
lament in favor of letting men marry
their deceased wives sisters was, that by
doing so man had only one mother-n
law instead OF TWO.
GE"A young poet out west, in desert
bing Heaven, says: cit is a world of
bliss fenced in with girls" If that be
true, and we are so fortunate as to get
there, we intend to ask permission to sleep
in the fence corners.
Ey""You'll have to bear the RESPONSE
biiity," said mother to a bright-eyed
young daughter of our acquaintance, who
thought of marrying without the maternal
appreciation. 81 expect to bear several,
Ma" said Fanny.-Lou. journal.
RE-A Frenchman, soliciting relief,
said very gravely to his fair hearer-
"Ma'amselle, never beg bat dat l have
Won wife wild several small family dat is
growing very large, and Messing to make
deir bread out of but de Precipitation of
my own eyebrows.
EE-A A dutchman relates the following {:
"Vonoe, long vile ago, l vent into mine
ahble orchard to climb bear dree to get
some beeches to make mine vrow blum
booding nit and ven got to der tober-
most pranch, walls vrom der lowermost
limb, mid vone leg on poth sides of der
fence, and like to shove my outside in"
SUBLIME DESCRIPTION OF AN ESCAPE
FROM MAD BULL.-The bull roared like
the rolling thunder, and L ran like the nim-
BILE lightning and springing over the
fence with the swiftness of star falling
from the armament, tore my trOwsers
asunder with crash rs loud as if the
globe had been shivered by comet.
THE GIFT Customer
What's the price of this volume
Clerk-That's dollar and half, with
which We give you a handsome piece Of
jewelry, worth, at least, TWO dollars.
Customer-Dear me why, you'll be
ruined if you continue this.
Clerk-Oh, no the business is 80 ex-
tensive, and we made the purchases when
the times were very hard and people anx-
ious 10 sell.
Customor-Well, it's very fttnny--I
don't understand it. Bat look a. here, |
don't wish to be outdone in liberality.-
That's dollar and half book and you
want to make me a present of two dollars
worth Of jewelry beside. Now, like to
be liberal. have no money. but don't
need the jewelry-you just let me have tn
book aud you keep the gift, and you will
clear fifty cents, according to your own
argumon'. Capital plan fol business, ain 3
II.