The Council Bluffs nonpareil. [volume] (Council Bluffs [Iowa]) 1857-1867, 1858-09-04
Jeems ~ . Corresp0nden ut.

James Buchanan is bachelor. Sad, soil
tary, and sixty-seven, he roams the lonely
halls of the White House; his heart never
warmed by the sweets of domestic inter.
course; his ear never thrilled by the pleasan,
prattle of childhood.
On the fifth of the present month, while
purging his sluggard blood at Bedford
Springs, he was thrown into great trepida-
ton by the announcement that Her ROYAL
Majesty, the Queen of England, was inditing
! n message, which, through the medium Of
the Atlantic telegraph, would shortly be laid
before him for consideration and reply
Jeems hardly knew whether to be pleased OF
anxious. Correspondence with lady was a
new thing. He renewed his draughts Of spring
water, for the Strengthening of his constitu-
ton; put his hand to his forehead; rubbed
his eyes; took look at his balmy facial
expression in the mirror; thurst bis hands
into his trousers pockets, and fell into a
deep train of study.
What q problem! Cleopatra and ANTONY
A message from lady! What could it
mean? Perhaps Papa Cass was summoned,
and, in his Office Of cabinet adviser and
soothsayer to the Republican Court, he was
invoked to drive away the mists which be-
logged the executive BRAN, and say what
could be the meaning of this personal ad-
dress.
Papa Cass always smells mice. II Mr..
Bull builds gunboat, he sees sign Of con-
fict; If regiment is sent to Canada, the
frightsome Secretary draws his patriotic
sword, and the sands of Detroit suffer by
the stroke. His advice to the forlorn Jeems
may with safety be supposed to have been
that these overtures be received with oil
proper caution, lest the chief Of the Demo-
cratic party be led into n snare, and ruined.
even as Samson was, by female blandish-
ments.
Thus fortified by Michigan wisdom, in two
weeks time Jeems prepared formula TO re.
ply to the friendly word Of the Queen. 1t
can be read in another column Of this paper.
The dispatch from the sovereign of England
was handed to the redoubtable President in
the quiet OF Georgetown; he having been
braced up for it's reception by the attention
OF DR.. GUN, the leech Of the Sub Treasury.
Jeems never yet made a handsome reply to
letter or address. He is only superanuated
budget Of old fogydom, and has hardly
definite idea OF what a telegraph is. He
doubtless thinks he obtained the Queens
message in the handwriting of Her Majesty.
In his reply he gets pretty we'll through the
first sentence; breaks down on the second.
and spoils tho whole by the last. Papa
C"ss is seen in that matter about keeping
the cable neutral in the midst of hostilities.
Why could not the old granny have had
sense enough to keep his childish fear of
war to himself. This Republic does not ask
favors OF Great in the event of hostilities
with any body. If the termini OF the wires
are on English domain, commercial, military
and marine organizations can take care Of
our interests in competition and collision |
with any foreign power.
In fact, Jeems loaded big gun to protect |
himself from small mouse. The roynl |
congratulatory line is very bunglingly shot |
at with naval forty-two. He suggests
spontaneous union, and by the suggestion
ruins the spontaneity. II the British Secre- |
tary for Foreign affairs will please pardon
this exhibition Of bad taste and grammar,
and afford an equal chance to some boy 10
the Grammar School in this city, there win
Do no repetition Of this charge bnyonet nss-
sivc.--N II. Stasesman.