The Tiffin tribune. [volume] (Tiffin, Ohio) 1848-1859, 1858-03-12
oAas unb ems


An old and very sharp broker in
Cleveland. thinking 10 lessen the express
charges on package Of money. marked
Il $500, when IN reality there we're
$3.50 10 the package II went at that
3 rats. but unfortunately it was lost, and
the broker not daring to claim the whole
amount. had 70 accept $500 from the
Express Company, thus paying $3.50 for
his sharpness The best Of the story is,
the Company. found the package after
they had paid the broker. and discovered
she cheat had enriched them $3.50.
Ears Go BaAoH.-The Irishman who
was willing to ride clear 10 Boston on the
cotokiicher 70 accommodate such jiuHs
manly ladies'. has found an equal in gal
lantry ia one Of his fellow oounlrymen
who said to a young lady, upon picking
upan dreturning to her her parasol, which
bii been carried away by gust Of wind,
Faith. Miss, an II We was as sthrong
as yer handsome, be jabors a hurricane
couldn't have sRa,ched il from ye.'
A CHrLD's DErtnrroN or CtoAR.--Dr
Tying, the pastor Of ST. Georges Epis
copal Church, preached to he Sabbath
School children recently. Speaking Of
do, the doctor said 'hs smoked no cigars.
Do you know continued the reverend
gentleman, what cigar isT
Yes, stree, shouted a moral specimen
Of Young America, it's the tip end of
tho DEVILS ail'
A fellow was invited to party one
evening, whore there was music both vo-
cal and instrumental. On the following
morning, he met one Of the guests, who
said.
well how did you enjoy yourself last
night? Were not tho quartetts eKoolleutG
We'll, really, | can't say. for didn't
taste them; but tho pork chops were the
finest ever ate'
A negro was brought up before the
Mayor Of Philadelpia for stealing chick
on. Theft oonolusively proved. Well 10.
by said his honor what have you got
Co say for yOurself?' Muffin, but dis.
replied Toby; i was as crazy as bed
bug when | stole la, pullol. COZ mite
hab stole do big ronster and neber done
s. Dat shows clusively 10 nv mind dat
I was laboring under de dclirun trs.
msHdas.
John. inquired dominic Of hopl.
ful pupil. 'wha, Is a nailor7' "A man
who makes nails said John. Very
good. What is a taior| One who
makes tails oh you stupid fellow.
said the dominic biting his lips-'a man
who makes tails' Yes. mastor, returns
el John; If the tailor did not put tails to
the coats he made, they would be all
JackeisP 'Sit down, john; you're an
honor to your maternal parent
culree-Miss Susan, has you ate the
peaches l sent your
Susan (wh1 ia supposed to be an in
valil )--N1, Mr, Cllfeo, ate half
ba'hol. but the see Is scratched my throat,
80 | couldn't finish en-.
'Donall,' said Scotch dame, looking
up from tho oatechism to her son, what's
a slandor? "A shnder. guide mthor?'
quoLh young Donald, twisting the corner
Of his plaid, 'aweel, | hardly ken. unless
IL be mhyhlp an owir true tale which one |
goo womNn tells Of anither'
A gentleman passing through ono Of
the public Offices was alfrouted by some
clerks. and was advised to complain to
the principal, which he did thus: Il have
been abused by some Of the rasoals Of
this place, and | come 10 acquoint You Of
70, aS l understand You are the principal
--------------
When from my room I chance TO stray,
TO spend an hour at close Of day. always
find the place most dear, where some
friend treats TO lager beer Sdcraw q
Ags. >A
Ahl yes. my friend, Of CITY life, suS
such treat curcs such a strife but better
thAn dose by far ara pleasures Of u dne
oigar-Piacsr Herald.
Such pleasures may suit baser minds, bu
the good no pleasure finds; we think the
purest Joy OF life, is making love with
ono'own wife Yo'cer Lerdld
Most wise. your choice. my worthy
friend, in Hymen's joys your, cares 10
end; but we. though tired Of single life.
can't boast Of having our own wife; so
when moth our own cares wa faint. we
fly to kiss some galthataia't-yst.-Napa
Report.
Col mtlo Was hington olildless that a
nation might call him father.
Can the author Of the above explain
why Col male Buchanan ohildless?-
Mobile Mercury.
That we mi ght not look upon his like
agnin.-N o Creseef
The newspapers at times have funny
things in them Amongst the advertise
ments in recent London papor. we read
thus
A spinster parlieulnrlv fond Of ebild.