Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1858-12-02
NUMBER 46.

Ba The man who was always split.
ting with laughter, has been recommend
ed to try an axe. -
na- 1t has been suggested that the
tail of the comet is caused by the dust
; it kicks up in travelling. 'ei'';i1sE
Sg- give risen from the bar to the
bench" said lawyer on quitting the
profession aud taking up shoe
@ Aunt Betsey has said mangeood
I thiRsa HRRnE RtlIsTF III neH 'S|I1|f
!. Is Ike VIE, because eveffsmau shonId
have one of his own.
t9- An Indiana editor was attacked
; By a man fer some personal grieyatece.
The editor says: ITO avoid iniurine
him, and prevent his ihjuring Us, Ne
GOT out OF the way, rs TX. eS-
@ Not long since there might have
been seen on the window .of, "A dirty lit
tie shop in an obscure part of London,
this announcement: Goods removed,
messages taken, carpets beat; and poetry
composed on any subject. o. rs - sus
na Talent and art must go hahdsfn
hand. Birds rise not by means of their
feathers alone, but by those which guide
their fight.
No. The man in Jail, who looked out
of his cell and exclaimed s:this. Il. .
great country!'' is now generally. ad-
mitted to have spoken within sboundsee'
pa There is certainly something of
exquisite kindness and thoughtfal be-
nevolence in that rarest of gifts, fna
breeding. .7''- =
RA- A Missouri editor apologies for.
the neglect of editorial duty, on account
of the advent of a new member of the
family, and claims indulgence on the
ground that the thing "only happens
once a.syear." Ir,,'-- ~
n@ Mrs. Partington desires to know
why the Captain of vessel cant keep
memorandum of the weight of his an
chor, instead of weighing it every time
he leaves port. fsss % -
Ia Certain it is that the soul is eter-E
nally craving. No sooner has it attain
ed the object for which it yearned, than
new wish is formed; and whole uni
verse cannot satisfy it. t7ai %
~ "Don't cry" said Saphir, the
German critic to lady who was evil
IDENTIFY rouged; "your tears will maker
you pale" -
pa- 1t is not every man who laughs
up his sleeve when he happens to be out
at elbows.
BD- The sheep in the meadow and
the axman in the forest alike contribute
their ''chops" for our benefit.
s@- The most disagreeable condition
for grumbler TO be in is to feel like
grumbling and have nothing to grum-
bio at. .E --.t
B@ Nothing is more odious than the
face that smiles abroad, but flashes fury
amid the caresses of tender vito and
children. .........--...
Ra- An emigrant to Oregon, writing
home to one of his friends, says, 'we are
getting along finely here, and have al
ready laid the foundation of larger
Jail" .-..s -,- -l
aa- The following "notice'' is said to
be posted up in the newsroom of eouu-
try tavern: "GeEtlemen learning to
spell are requested to use yesterdays
paper. - 'f-
s9- The American Agriculturalist
speaks of species of pigs with square
snouts. A learned goat can add. SUBJ
stract and multiply, but these pigs ean
give an illustration of the square root
p~ A neighboring editor says, she5
lately met with one of his jokes thirty
years old. We suspect that he has met
with good many of them much older
than himself -.--.ss-
RS Why should collectors of miner
al specimens be the richest persons in
existence? Because they never go ont
on a professional tour but they bring
home the rocks. .-.,
E9- A young fop about starting to
New Orleans, proposed to purchase .
, life preserver. ~, you'll not want it, :"
suggested the clerk, "bags Of wind wont
sink" -.-..- b ...s.t ..ss. ,, .s~ -
, B9"Young man." said o ministcr to
5 a youth OF his congregation, "do you
: know what relations you sustain in the
] world ? "Yes, sir, two cousins and :
S grandm other, but don't intend to saso
: tain them much longer" -. ~
DS A young lady says that the frst
time that young man sat up with her,
she felt as If Il sweet briar was climbing
her chair, while honey -suckles so hid
: the legs of the table that she. thought
she was in Paradise regained. .,E -
: na A spirited woman of our ae-
: quaintance caught her husband, the
n n other day in the act of breaking up her
hoops. The exertion or something else
1t had 4 singlar effect upon him.. His hair
e came out at an astonishing rate. Ri' 4
B9- Somebody says that whatsSei
n may be the charm and social endear.
" ment of the breakfast table, they ar,
entirely destroyed by making 1t the ara
na for 'feats of strength" between tn.
n butter and codfsh balls. So. '-'. -'
y. H9-"Youwould be pretty indeed, ," sal,
gentleman patronizingly to q youn,
lady, ''if your eyes were only1 iitti
n. larger" My eyes may be very small
q sir. but gurh naomi, &C. Va. 4