The national era. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1847-1860, 1858-12-02


! could but have guessedi When one word
would have brong. i mo o enraptured to your
sidei"a f't' E3tsss si.t5 -'of ge7 .l9e'vges
/ q But that WORD !" star ,mered she, " was one
that could not sly. Ia was mine to cbide you
from ne, not MINI to bic, you back again. No
matter perhaps wouls. not have done it, If I
could: No, am p city sySe should not. was
possessed by the esil one, 4 for people may be,
even in our times, Herman. believe in that
doctrine firmly, = uddeAngly. God grant he
may be cast out sowit' She crossed herself
and shiyered j "fpd, even if you had thrown
yourself at my e, j in t,ose days, believe I
might have spnrns 4 you .gain--who knowsa--
though in order to.do it trampled on my own
soul. Il said to myself, He has been tried in
the balance and foand whiting; let him go /
am happy enoughewitho 1T him, or, at any rate,
| am going to sbet Esust occupy nav mind,
and forget the whe .e ma ter Then the q,iea.
/ ton arose, How occupy. py mind? There APP
peared to be noting I, me to do, but to 60
out good deal and a cbrdingly did that.
! received greatsdeai what is called atten-
tfon and ladies s "a m that gentlomen said
that was very hsNisom =. What comfort was
there in that? g, wer many very unhappy
or even very dS5pica.le persons; so was
Eleanor must earn .iQt to mention names
when am goingzfo be ~pteful," said she, in
terrupting herselfewith sobbing laugh-7who
bad not, believed, an cd in her head, except
/ that she the creates beauty on this CONT
/ nent, or feeling Il. her leart except a longing
to have the fact frtznkly ind explicitly stated to
! her ON every occa-ion. Nery soon began to
grow tired, and 10. say te myself, / have had
enough of this. hat ext? could not see
any aeat, or at lcais any that found any COM
fort in contemplating. Soh Herman, it is a
dreary thing to stand, girl of twenty, on the
very threshold of-ssae, ard see before you only
death to look torvsld to- Even what had in
possession could got KEEP. The Young men
were proud of wa-sng and dancing with me,
just as they were Il drifting a fine horse, and
discussed me, Suspect ID, much as if had
been one. She y gltrious creature' / was
told, that they sal and wore but / knew that
in five years TIM thes.would probably say it
with less emphase. and IN ten change it into
| She pas a glori0:s ere sture,' or forget it al
| together. One sSways wants prospect of
something, some gaiH- some growth, some
perrmanence, at le,s t; s.,d saw no prospect
of any in that dir etios, even if it had been
worth having, whiSS d ,ubted. In hopes of
hint 1 looked abo~a rto soc what other old
maids were doing... SoE of them were dressy
and chatty, and sesyneS. TO be contcntcd and
| satisfied bat it wa wit much the same things
that the young MAIDS W, re doing, and of those
| things was weary slre$ay, and expected to be
still more so before ten ;Gars more were gone.
Then there were thersi old maids par ercel-
tence, whose chief ffnct, IN in life appeared to
be, to be dowdy and uscfaa in certain dry ways.
and content with therr sphere - but their
sphere, so far as I|9oultsse was nothing but
an exceedingly fat 2unl of duties, that nobody
else chose to dos aG1 Constance laughed
with sobbing lauS ha-f fearful, half mirthful,
like that of a lost 9 Id .iat has got safe back
to its father, and ~ Cling him about it's wander
ings. Altogether1 die not like the looks of
the future at all, -,nd stried to throw my
sell into the presea ag1jn, az fast as could.
and sometimes wished % talk Of things more
interesting than ny 4eighbors' hirtations
clothes, and suPpert Sspme people stared and
answered at cross-pt- poses; and others assured
What of that2 al s myself, What good
does an intellect dos Iou kunless YOU know what
to do with it? w at comfort was Samsons
long hair to him, when &c ground in the mll1
"Why don't you Vrite.s book y they said;
but | never like TO writesotten or long, and, by
that time, through idleness and dissipation,
had lost the control of ray own mind, IT had
ever had any, and did not know how to set my
self to work or to keepSto anything steadily;
and them will humblsmyself to tell you this,
Herman, to give you SOME satisfaction for the
pain which inflicted Oh you too, by by my
arrogance--in my nactoa and vacuity my IN
ward griefs had completely, and in spite of me,
got the upper hand. Ne heart was growing so
fun of the tears which , was too proud to she'd
that | feared that if |, dad write, they would
burst through my pen, and tricke over all my
| pages, and every one would know the sorrow
| ful secret that was SO anxious to keep from
| every one.
| !. took disgust 10 society, and tried music
next, TO make the time pass, and keep me from
thinking; but it did n6t keep me from feeling.
! ! often PLAYED seven or eight hours a day, and
left of only because my heavy fingers tagged
| on the KEYS; but then l. often cried. Herman,
| / DO not see how music ran ever do much for
worldly and selfshly sum, appy people, because it
avakens spiritual longisgs, which only heavenly
and holy affections can ill.
| q At last, | believe that must have become
really morbid; for spent half my time sitting
with nv hands folded at Che window, gazing into
the street, and specializing on the faces of the
women passing by. dad not care particularly
to study those of the girss, for / knew that ami
NAL spirits, hope, and thoughtlessness, were
enough for most of then, but pored eagerly
and as long as could through the blinds over
the countenances of tbs middle-aged and the
old, to read their fortu5es in them. When
saw one go by, with rroud glad look, said
confidently, She has "A kind husband, or q
fond, true lover Shs steps quickly. She
knows that the time sems long to him while
she is out of his sight. Perhaps he is sitting in
some window, and look ng out for her, as-noI
as-I am now Perha Is he is waiting for bel
at the nearest corner Life is short. VIII,
should they waste a N oment of it, needlessly
apart p When one 70 lowed with eontented
cheerful, homelike look, l said, She has 9
CHEEKY kindly home IT, 60 to, with plenty o
socable brothers aud sisters In it, it she has ne
more. When anotherscpme, with a somewha
pale and worn, but s,seet, calm, and earnes
expression, She may ave had her trials; bat
if so, she must have led, somebody to suppor
and strengthen her Under them good ole
parents, very likely, who, having passed through
the sorrows Of life before. her, know how to fee
for her, soothe, encourage, and guide her, while
J she in return takes heart, and keeps her spirit
up, that she may the sst.er cheer and cherisl
: their old age But when / saw o woman pass
with haggard, withefsd, drawn, defiant face,
, said, She is alone in the world-an orphan
: with no brother sister and her lover i
worse than dead. ST has no hopes, and bite
= memories, from whiss, she knows no refuge
She hates life, and blself, and all the world
: She is embittered, st,.red, cankered, as I an
= going to be-as | AZ now At length, on
C day, i saw two Sisters of Charity--one of then
L majestic, and, though old, still beautiful-bot
looking happy. That was reproach to me- 70
o / supposed that they lad no domestic ties no
4 anything but the uns, fish service of God an
d man to make them more SO than m yself; and
It arose. and left my wi. dow." l,.
? "But, my own de.Arest, were you 80 utterl
r alone? / cannot bear TO think Oft. Had 20
no friend You wSre here, were you not
/ Surely, surely Mrs. Eonaldson must have bee
r. I'll