Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1858-10-30
y Il III Q \ o Il s

A Coon One An anecdote in Harper
says the Vicksburg Wing reminds us of
story we once heard of a revolutionary soldier
who was running for Congress. 1t appears
that our hero was opposed by q younger man
who had never "been to the wars" and it was
the wont of Revolutionary" . tell people of
the hardships he endured. Says he Eel
low citizeus, have fought and bled for my
country-l have helped whip the British and
Indians. have slept upon the field OF bat
tie with no covering but the canopy Of hea-
ven. have walked over frozen ground till
every footstep was marked with blood"
Just about this time one of the "sovor-
eigns," who had become very much affected
by the tale Of woe. walks up in font of the
speaker, wiping the tears from his eyes with
the extremity of his coat tail, and interrupt
ing him says
Did You say you Tough: the British and
the mines ?"
Yes" responded old "revoutionary."
"Did you say YOU hsd slept on the ground,
while serving your country, without any Xxi
verP'
YES, cir, did"
"Did you say you had followed the enemy
of your country over frozen ground till every
footstep WAS marked with blood 2
"Yes," exutantly replied the speaker.
"Woll, then" says the fearful sovereign"
as he gave a sigh Of pairruI emotion, IN be
id il ! don't think you've done enough
for your country and I'll vote for another
man"
LoGtC.-A writer in the Westminster Re-
view, once took the position that alcohol is
food, and offered the following logs III proof
Of il:
Food is force,
Alcohol is force
Therefore, alcohol is food
Dr. Mussey gives formula equally lcgi;i-
mate and conclusive namely:
Horse feed is force,
Whipping horse is force,
Therefore, whipping horse is horse feed
To which capital logic onr John adds bis /:
My ma is woman,
Queen Victoria is woman,
Therefore Queen Victoria is my ma
CAREx YouR BAGGAGE, SIR ?'-The boat
had just arrived, and the landing Was as usual
crowded with cabmen, porters, loaters, &c.-
When the passengers commenced landing, u
colored porter stepped up to country-look
ing chap, saying
Garry your baggage, sir ?"
mo, rather guess not, was the reply.
"Shaut carry your baggage y
mo! amt got any baggage"
! The porter looked at him for minute,
then very coolly stopped down, and taking
/ hold of his foot. said with an air Of astonish-
mont ...
why, massa, that's one Of your feet amt
| it hang me if didn't think II was ieatker
! trunk" .....
How IT FELT.-A Lady friend of ours SAYS
| the Grst time she was kissed she felt like a
| big tub Of roses swimming in honey, cologne.
nutmegs aud cranberres. She also felt as if
| something was running through her nerves on
feet Of diamords, escorted by several little
| Cupids in Chariots drawn by angels, shaded
10y honey suckeis, sad the whole spread with
meltsd raiuhows. Jerusalem what power
tbere is in full breasted kiss!
In on irish provincial journal there is an
advertisement running thus :-"NGnted a
handy laborer, who can plough married ms n
and Protestant with son or daughter
J "Will you have it rare, or well done p said
a IA dlord TO al lrsl ma few DAYS ago
as he was cuttinga piece of roast beef
i"l love II well done ever snce AIN in this
couutbry- for it VAS rare enough, We used IL
alto it 10 Ireland"
"lfa Dogge's Tail Is kOt awg entirely, will
it not interfere With his lowcowmoN shpp z
Not exactly; it might not affect his car
riage, but 'twould entirely stop his waegin'.
Lovers, whose only desire il is TO tske Ions
and romastic walks bepeslh the moon, are
not long in discovering, after marriage, theI
caunot subsist on l0oohshlue.
-N+ r- s1