The Council Bluffs nonpareil. [volume] (Council Bluffs [Iowa]) 1857-1867, 1857-12-12
PLAIN TALK THE BEST.

INDUCED in tho mere use of words. We
beggar the language upon the most triGing
themes we laud miserable painter Of
sign boards, until there is nothing left for
Claude or Titan. We deck cut some Jo-
seph Of thought in rainbow coat, until an
idea new and nude, has nothing to wear,
except clothes that have been worn before.
Setting forth the virtues of n corn exter-
minator, exhausts sChild Harold,' and after
the eulogy upon patent mouse-trap, there
is nothing left wherein to talk Of Paradise
LOST f@ t.93g #
Your Durhams are magnificent, and Juno
was nothing more; you love turnips, you
say, and what stronger sentiment can you
claim for truth ? 2. z 4a Ess5'Sl q
And SO it happens that when you really
have anything to say, there is nothing TO
say it in, that has not come to sbaser uses
its fresh Significance worn oil, like the pillars
of a Spanish quarter. 9 5'&ss5
1t has come to such pass-this extrava-
gance-that one can hardly be said to call
anything sgood,' unless be pronounces it
'best.' and what you say of Goldsmith's
deserted Village, barely contents your po-
etical correspondent, whose verses trot like
an Indian pony, and who indicates her pre-
cious personality with a little 'i.' y 2s'9
1t il within bounds to assert, that the dis
covery of a shoe -blacking has left nothing
new to be said Of the discovery Of America,
and that the merits of terrier have been
known to draw as heavy upon adjectives as
did the exploits of Tamerlaine. .s-f
In world of words no coin is current,
made Of any meaner material than gold, and
the way il is scattered about has no parallel
except when sSthe sower goes forth to SOW
People have grown SO grand, that they
cannot sing ballad withou; performing an
adthem, or set forth with 'Msther Hubbard,'
without rising to Handel.
We wish there could have been word or
two saved, that we might have something
for thought to put on, in the holidays.
But let this not instigate anybody to make
new words, to simmer handful Of Greek
roots together, after the fashion of the
witches in Macbeth, and ladle out the pro-
duct over afflicted christendom. We protest
against the making Of any more pathological
monsters. 81 &fh 1
We pay for strycopherous,' and get hogs
lard and burgamot; scathairon' and paphion
lotion are more comm On than bears oil or
cologne, and it is an everyday affair in sum-
nectar and not turn into zone Of the gods
that have been passed oyer.''
You cannot get your clothes cleaned, if
you try, but here's your 'renovater.' Do
you think you can buy tooth-Powder? 1t
will be nothing less than an 'cburi6er,' or
dentri6ce,' at the very least.
Fraser's Magazine talks sense when it
says: '.s sE r. -ta.
'Can any one tell US the meaning Of sd;ag-
nosis' as applicable to disease? If it has
any signi6cation at all, we will guarantee to
find half II dozen Saxon monosylable ex-
pressive of the same idea. Medical gentle-
men, too, talk of phlebotomy; we know that
it has some connection with bloodlcttins,
and for our own part, we always associate
terms with night We once spent between
the sheets, all alive O.! in an Irish hotel.
Who would believe that sepistaxis' meant
simply bleeding at the nose!
Fancy one shool-boy doubling his fist,
and telling another to look out for sepistax-
is!' What is meant BY that fashionable word
'sesthetics?' We take up the FIRST hook in
reach and open it atrandom. 1t is William
Wordsworth; Biography by Edwin Paxton
Wood. Well, what do you readp sBy
aesthetic biography, is simply intended q
life inits ideal attitudes Simply intended!
Did ever mortal man listen to such verbiage
run mad? What, again, are we to UNDER
stand by the words 'objective' and subjec-
tive" which every goose with his sham
metaphysics has now w-a-days on his lips?
And then, how delicate are we getting
We desire all weil-disposcd people to have
legs as they used to do,and leave tlower
limbs for modest and respectable trees.-
People are no better for being indisposed,
than when they call themselves sick
they? If you intend to have the girl, why
not have her in plain English, instead Of
leading her to the altar, as Abraham led
the sheep? Gentlemen do not 20 to bed; they
only retire. Ladies never dress; they mere
ly make their toilet they dispose Of their
coiiieures, but bless. u, they never comb
their hair. 1t is always good evening and
never good night.
Your barber has grown an artist; Darby's
wags have turned into . salary, and Dar-
by's Joan into lady; the shop is sunk be-
low soupdings, and store and Office alone
remain; plain Saxton swork'i is just to be
Engaged, and our hired girl has kindly con-
sented TO reside in the family! !.
Really, it will come to pass by and BY,
that nobody will dare to sneese in plain
English, and people will civily be said to
sternutofe!-C Chicago Journal.
HTA gentleman sxpatiating upon the
good looks Of women, declared that he
had never vet asen an uNly woman. One