The western Democrat. [volume] (Charlotte, N.C.) 1852-1870, 1857-10-06
Few WORDS ON MARRIAGE.



woman's life, it would be common place to
enter into heightened discussion to prove
how much her happiness depends ON the
cast of the matrimonial die; but so long a.
the satisfied affections of the heart have
power to stimulate the whole frame to
Eealthy action. or SD long as the disOrdered
action of the whole system Is daily brought
about by some eanker proving on the in
most heart of woman, medicine suggests
that there should he no abatement OF the
prudence generally used by parents before
giving their sanction to so important
step.
Marriage should he emblcmatie of the
union of mind To mind, aud heart I" heart.
1t is wei to build matrimonial happiness
on physical sympathy, better still ON the
sympathy of heart responding t" heart;
bit tie mental adaptation, and similarly
of views relative t" the grand principles Of
acton aud the events Of s"cicty, should
also be taken INTO consideration for the
bodily projections must fade, the ard"r "f
affection NAV cool or he diverted into an
other channel but the minds tixity of
purpose is more to be depended npon. its
energies diminishing but slowly with in
creaSing years. A marriage founded upon
this mutual understanding has little chance
"f being wretchcd. Both parties ever
finding the self same mental beauty they
once admired, and constantly deriving
terchange of thoughts, they live together
as monitors: their two beings became in
dissOlubly chained by habit; and they really
form but one personality; though having,
it is true, d masculine and feminine side.
But although tied by the bands of love
and mutual confidence, how different is
the relative position of each in marriage.
The one give obedience to the dominion
assumed by the other, as the only prnci-
pie of government capable of ensuring the
peace of the family and though the word
"obey" sounds harshly in the ears of those
who often marry to be their own mistrcs>es,
the action, and even the conversation of
women, when that little word escape their
memory, show how readily they admit
a woman cares not how much she obcys,
provided she really does obey her husband
acting for himself, and not when he is
made the tool of others. A man, there
fore. should not marry unless he can keep
a wife in comfort, be able to give her tho
first place in his affections. and direct her
by his Own Judgment and knowledge of the
world; for if, while affectionately welded
to a woman, his mind remains too strongly
influenced by some relation or friend, con-
jugal happiness is compromised, even
though the wife may have nothing to OBJ
jcct TO in the principles or position of her
husbands leader.
The duties of tho married state spring
from a complete Identification of heart and
soul, from love Which, prompting selfsa-
crifce, suggests the necessity of mutual
confidence. The wife, it is true, has moth
ing tn do with the affairs of her husband
before marriage; but when once she has
accepted him it is his duty to confde so
much of them to her rs may enable both to
trace out their future plans. SecrcSy would
otherwise place both in false position
and if persisted in after marriage, the wife
would soon perceive that there is something
hidden, which she would brood over until
doubt, suspicion and fear would.take away
her peace of mind. Her open disposition
would soon become tinged with her hus-
bands secresy, and fuel would be added to |
the fame if she perceived that instead of
consulting her upon family matters, he re-
lied fully on the advice of friend. and i'm |
plicitly followed it out, without asking her |
opinion, though she may be sufficiently
clear-sighted to see that the friend, though
well-intentioned, is i'll measuring another
by his own metre. Until conjugal conf
dencc be established, there must be an end
TO happiness.
The bearing of each others infrmities of
mind and body scarcely needs, in Chris
tian country, to be enforced; still it is we'll
TO remind men that women are constitutions
ally more irritable, and therefore require to
be spared, us much as possible, what might
give rise to manifestations of temper. The
general aim of wives is practically to con-
vince their husbands how much happier
they are married, than when living in bach
elOr solitude, or when vainly roaming after
happiness; for except domestic happiness,
what does man gain by marriage! A great
increase of expenses, of duties, and of
cares, it is true; but his experience is not
augmented, nor his Importance in society.
Woman, on the contrary, acquires a social
importance she could not otherwise attain:
it gives to youth precedence of age, a pre-
mature experimental an opLonb which
often creates in our minds surprise equal
to the respect it commands. But while
assuming the privilege of power, women
should never forget the important duties
they are called upon to fulfill. In civilized
nations matrons give the tone to society
for the rules of morality are plsced under
their safeeuard