The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1857-07-01
Thc Bachelor and the Baby.

| Ts2c Bachelor and the Baby.
What slall I do 2 and the bachelor STAN
ped about the room in a perfect rage of
doubt, looking first at the mapping baby
in the little willow cradle, and then at tho
| busy French clock on the mantelshelf.
"As sure as my name is Joseph Phelps,
that little, two-fsted, large-lunged nephew
Of mine is about waking, and It wants ono
whole hour Of the time which its mother
appointed for her return. Whew! &c
tlally sweat thinking about it. What
Ecan | 10 with it How can | treat it to
slagag y ha5-d' ye-call-enas, or hold it or
| tfotlt,, OF tiossnytiliIig with II
At this juncture faint wall from tho
baby receptacle brought bachelor Joseph
to his taps. With an energy and alacritys
that would not lily become a husband
and baby tender, he commenced rocking
the cradle, sending the indignant baby in
to a perfect tremor Of kicks and squalls.
Bac kwards and forwards, from one side
of the pillow to the other, the round red
rolled the infant fists were clenched with
q force that purpled them; while from
the white plump throat came o cry that
set the bachelor wild with fear. Us
Again Joe looked at the clock.
"What in the deuce can [ do?' he ex-
claimed, viewing the little infamed face
before him,
He sat down in big chair before ba-
by, spread double cradle-quilt over his
knees, and with look of terror on his
face, proceeded to take baby fromits rest
ing place. He drew the young hopeful
into his lap, just as a very neat old lady
would pick up a pocket handkerchief with
her thumbs and fingers. A fresh yell
from the rosy mouth of the baby was the
only expression ofthanks, as he common
ced thenever-out-o fashion baby trot.
sit must be that something is pricling
him. Shoot shoe p said Joe, commence
ing a search for the aggravating pin that
was driving the child into such a rage.
But the pin could be found, and he made
an attempt to turn baby over, but oh the
clumsinCss of his fngers-the little eel
like form fell out of his lap to the floor,
sending forth cry that was sslouder,
SAOuIOIs NSttullCl tilflIl btlOIt.
'Lord save me, I've broken its neck!!'
was the exclamation, as he picked baby
up, and in the agony Of despair, tried to
quiet him. A thong ht struck Joe. He
saw basque hanging against the wall of
the adjoining bedroom, and with q smile
of delight on his countenance, went for it.
Sure enough, there it was, stttfling, bod
dice, and all! real monument Of FfslrliA
nine ingenuity. He was wild with Joy.
He pinned it over bis coat, and fastened
the sleeves behind him. He took baby
and laid It's head against the false breast
work. ~.
"Shade of southern plantations and
cotton factories" exclaimed Joe, as baby
rooted its nose into it about mile, and
then cuddled for snooze. Then the
bachelor commenced singing
Women are all feeting show,
For mars delusion given;
When fill d WITHDRAW id t ffed wi b t,w.
They look quite we'll
A tap upon the door stopped Joe in
the midst of his suggestive song, and be-
fore he Lad time to disarray himself the
door was opened, and a roguish, laughing,
pair of eyes peered in upon him.
''Y oar sister is not at home, is she 20
"No, maam, stanlmered joe, growing
very red IN the face; "and | have turned
nurse"
"Miss Hayes laughed offered to relieve
him of his charge, which he willingly con-
sented to- sitting near by the while intent
ly watching her. She managed baby to
q charm, without the basque, and Joe was
captyated.
He married Fanny Hayos-upon my
word he did.