Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1857-11-14

Which, possibly, one
Inclined to o pun
Would call-like Haiper--his cereal issucs.''
With wheat his lands were all a-blaze
Twas amazing to see his fields of maize;
And there were places
That showed rye-faces
AS pleasant to see as so many Graces.
And as for hops,
His annual crops
$50 very extensive that, ON my soul,
They fairly reached from pole to pole)
Would beat the guess of any old foge,
Or the longest season at Saratoga!
Whatever seed did most abound,
In the grand result that Autumn found,
1t was his plan,
Though moderate man,
To be early running it into the ground;
That is to say,
In another way
Whether the seed was barley or hay,
Large or little, or green or gray
Provided only twas like "to pay
He never chose to labor in vain
By stupidity going against the grain,
But hastened away without stay or stop,
And carefully put it into his crop.
And lie raised tomatoes
And lots of potatoes,
More sorts, in sooth, than could tell;
Turnips, that always turned up we'll;
Celery, all that he could sell;
Grapes by the bushel, sour and sweet
Beets, that certainly couldn't be beat;
Cabbage-like some sartoria mound;
Vine, that fairly cu-cumbered the ground;
Some pumpkins-more than he could house, and
Ten thousand pears; CHATS twenty thousandD
Fruit of all kinds and propagations,
Baldwins, Pippins, and Carnations,
And apples of other appellations.
To sum it all up in the brefest space,
As you may suppose, Brown hourished apace,
Just because he proceeded, venture to say,
In the nuild-retrorsum-r restigi-ous way;
That is--if you're not University bred
He took Crockett's advice about going ahead.
At all the State Fairs he held n fair station,
Raised horses and COWS and his own reputation;
Made butter and money; took Justices niche;
Grew wheat, wool and hemp; corn, cattle, andrich
But who would be always country-clown9
And so Bill Brown
Sat himself down,
And, knitting his brow in a studious frown.
He said, says he;-
It's plain to see
And think Mrs B. will be apt TO agree,
(If she don't it's much the same to me,)
That !, Bill Brown,
Should go to town.
But then, says he, what town shall it bel
Boston town is consid' 'rably nearer,
And York is farther. and SO will be dearer,
But then, of course, the sights will be queerer;
Besides, I'm told, you're surely lost 'un,
III you once get dStIuy IN Ine StTteto Vi DOstOU
York is right-angled;
And Boston, right-tangled;
And both, I've no doubt, are uncommon new-fan-
gled
Ah!-the "SMITHs," remember, belong to York,
('Twas ten years ago sold them my psrk,)
Good, honest traders-I'd like to know them
And so-'tis settled-I'll go to Gotham
And 50 Bill Brown
Sat himself down,
With many smile and never frown,,
And rode, by rail, to that notable town
Which l really think well worthy of mention
As being Americas greatest invention!
Indeed, I'll be bound that if Nature and Art,
(Though the former, being older, has gotten the
start,)
In some new Crystal Palace of suitable size,
Should show their chefs-d'Gupre, and contend for
the prize,
The latter would prove, when it came to the scratch
Whate'er you may think, no contemplate match;
| For should Mrs Nature endeavor to stagger her
By presenting, at last, her majestic Niagara;
Miss Art would produce an equivalent work
In her great, overwhelming, unfinished New YORK
And now Mr. Brown
| Was fairly in town,
In that part of the city they used to call "down,'
Not far from the spot of ancient renown
AS being the scene
OF the Bowling Green,
A fountain that looked like huge tureen
Piled up with rocks and squirt between;
But the Bowling" now has gone where they tally
''The fall Of the Ten," in n neighboring alley;
And as the "Green''-why that you will find
Whenever you see the "invisible" kind
And he stopped at an Inn that's known very well
"Dclmonico's" once-now "Steyens Hotel;"
(And to borrow pun which think rather witty
There's no better Inn in this Inn-fa cityD
And Mr. Brown.
Strolled up town,
And I'm going to write his travels down;
But if you suppose Bill Brown will disclose
The usual sins and folles of those
Who leave rural regions to see city shows
You couldn't well make
A greater mistake;
For Brown was man Of excellent sense;
Could see very well through hole in fence,
And was honest and plain, without sham or pre-
tence.
OF sharp, city learning he couldn't have boasted
But he wasn't the chap to be easily roasted;
Though, like many a"Bill," he wasn't we'll ''pOst
And here let me say,
In very dogmatc, oracular way,
(And I'll prove it, before have done with my lay
Not only that honestys likely to "pay,"
But that one must be, as general rule,
At least half knaye to be wholly fool
OF pocket-book dropping Bill never had heard,
Cor at least if he had, he'd forgotten the word,)
And now when, at length, the occasion occurred,
For that sort of chaff he wasn't the bird.
The gentleman argued with eloquent force,
And begged him to pocket the money, of course;
But Brown, without thinking at all what he said
PopIel out the first thing that entered his head.
(Which CHANGED to be wondrousy fitting and true,
"No-no-my dear Sir-I'll be burnt if do!'
Two lively young fellows of elegant men,
Amused him awhile with pretty machine
An ivory ball, which he never had seen.
But though the unsuspecting stranger
o In the "patent safe'' saw no patent danger,
He easily dodged the nefarious net,
Because she wasn't accustomed to bet."
. Ah!-here, l wot.
Is exactly the spot