San Andreas independent., 1857-07-25
Bummers and Bumming.

developed IN California. Wnetner the Climate
is such that it is peculiarly adapted to the en-
couragement of this species or genus, or that the
circumstances surrounding are favorable to its
production and growth, we are unable to say;
but it is well ascertained fact that the animal
seems to be produced spontaneously, and is de-
veloped with amazing precocity here.
The hummer is a biped sui generis. They all
possess the outer characteristics of the human
species, seem to be connecting link between
the human and animal creation little higher
in the scale than the monkey, considerably
lower than the genus homo, they have all the
appearance of men-dress, eat and walk like
them, and the method of communicating their
ideas (which they are always fond of doing) to
each other, is somewhat similar. This lingo
is usually denominated slang, however. So
great is their similarity to man, that visitor
from a sister planet might at first glance take
them to belong to the great family homo, but
would soon be undeceived, if it were possible
to stay on earth long. They are well known,
and easily distinguished by the hard working,
industrious and saving portion of community;
and although under the general head of the
family Bummer, the greatest variety exists; yet
there are characteristics which can never be
mistaken-there are signs which may be easily
recognized. They are known also by the more
euphoneous name of store sharps," from we'll
known habit they have during the winter, of
entering a tradesmans or other shop, and Sc
curing the most comfortable places at all times,
to the exclusion of better paying visitors, and
the discontinue of the owner. In their habits
they are gregarious and somewhat nomadc;
that is, they more generally go in t1ocks, and
when unable to quarter in one place, I" udnder'
to another In the morning the hummer may
be known by his appearance at 10 o'clock as if
he had just aroused from not very refreshing
| sleep. The face and hands of some are hardly
acquainted with the use of cold water, while
with others these parts of their bodies, together
with capillary substance" like that on the
caput of the homo, are the objects of the most
scrupulouS and elaborate care. If able to i'm
pose upon some boarding house or restaurant
keeper, they are fed soon after that time and
their looks undergo very great change-like
an army of locusts they rush out, pleasant
smile usually rests on their countenanccs, and
wo betide the luckless store-keeper, tradesman
or professional gent, who has ever had the
pleasure of their acquaintance !" they
cupy every chair in the stores, every bag of
coffee, the counters, desks, in fact every "st-
able" place; and in jargon, which we have
before denominatcd slang, they rehearse the
events of the day or the scandal of the times
To hear one, he is as great fnancier as the
Rothchilds; another is Drawer than Julius Cesar
another greater critic than Scaiger; others,
unsurpassed in their judgment of horse fesh
dog fights, &C.; and yet it is done in that lazy
easy, indolent way that shows it takes most
mighty event to call out their full energies but
when once set in motion-"ye gods and little
small one of the species will puff himself out
with "gas" until, if he only had quarter" as
much more, he would certainly bust"
With lordly air they swarm to the bar
rooms, billiard saloons and restaurants. They
watch with eager impatiencc the entrance of
some unfortunate who will stand treat" They
catch up " soft snap" at billiards, and fbeaten
politely inform the landlord to ''put that down."
They enter the restaurants, cat their fill and
sauntering lazily out, nod very slyly to the
owner and wink, as much as to say "Il call
around and SETTLE
In fact, day and night they are a pest to soci-
ETY., and yet seem to think the wheels of society
cannot get along without them. They enter a
lawyers Office and tearing down his books
lazily look at the title page then leave them for
him to return to their places. They search the
physicians place of business for box of Tar>s
rants Extract and leave his medicines so dis
arranged that he can hardly get them together
again. They enter the printing Office and him
der the printer from his work, read and carry
off his papers, and are perfect nuisance in
their mischief These are the general charac-
teristcs of the |" hummer family" tits divided
and sub-divided into an ininitude of variety,
all having the same general, and yet differing
in peculiar ways and manners.
Divided like the waves yet one like the ocean,"
There is the grog-shop bummer-the general
bummer-the literary bummer-the professional
bummer-the fighting bummer-the gambling
bummer-the political bummer-printng-o Office
bummer-the religious hummer, and variety
of other bummers to whom we will give our
attention at another time.
WATER MELoNs-We are indebted to Mr.
Joseph Hale, wholesale dealer in Produce,
stands No. and s, Levee, Stockton, for two
ice cream melons regular AZ pounders-rich