The north Iowa times. [volume] (M'Gregor [i.e. McGregor], Iowa) 1856-1857, 1857-02-20

stretched myself farther into the large
comfortably study chair, which, like the
sister of Mr.. Sampson Brass, always sits
to receive visitors, though with rather
more cordiality since its arms are always
wide open to receive them, and lifting my
cat named after another great singer)
Adelina Patti, into my lap, where she sits
purring and winking her eyes slowly at
me, entirely Indifferent to the plaintive
wailings of her beaux outside. am a
great admirer of all kinds of cats, cater
pillars, catalogues, cataracts, even catas-
trophies have their peculiar charm to me,
being doctor.) run my eye slowly
round the room comforting myself with an
inventory of its contents, my cosy single
bed with its neat white sheets and counter
pane, imprisoned between four highly
carved venerable bed posts of the real old
English stock. like everything old
fashioned, and venders of such article are
sure to find ready purchaser, in Tom
Henderson. Old fashioned chairs with
their high backs and correct demeanor.-
Old fashioned clocks, none of your Frenchy
little alf-never-keep-tim
kind of clocks, with faces so covered and
besmeared with paint, blushing like a
young sinner locked up for his first wick
ed under the gilt they are covered with,
and with Pendulums that seem running a
race with time, SO quick and impatient is
their stroke, but good, solid ten-feet-by-
two, family clocks, with round, good hu-
mored, honest faces, dotted with fly specks
to be sure, yet friendly and constant under
every cloud of adversely and dust they
receive, with pendulum whose vibra-
tons, steady, regular and composed,
Since being paid for they have no need
to run on the short tick system) seem to
say I-kept-time-for- r-your-f -father-believe-
me-I'm-one-of-tbe- family. And so you
are said I, unconsciously speaking aloud
and turning to my old friend who
stands in the corner, looking as if keepin5
time to my thoughts, if nothing else, and
so you are, and so you shall remain as
long as I've the money to pay your house
rent, and the clockas ifin response, struck
nine, with friendly whirr and immedi-
ately subsided into it's accustomed gravity
as if ashamed of itself.
Nine O'Clock! Three hours more and
then-but 1 won't think of it, the very
thought of my getting old is troublesome.
To be sure a bachelors life is the happiest,
but still why of course it is, what would
my bachelor friends say if expressed a
doubt on the subject, should be laughed
at, accused of treason and bothered to
death. What Tom Henderson, acknowl-
edged bachelor and proof against all the
charms of the fair sex. thinking Of mar
riage. The idea was so preposterous that
I Indignantly seized the poker and clash
ed it into the Goals, who in return spark
led and snapped at the insult, as if to say
though we do like some games of chance
still poker is by no means our favorite.-
I've always regarded Goals as of the femi-
nine gender, on account of their attraction
for sparks and therefore as true and loyal
member of the bachelor club. l have al
ways avoided them, yet something per-
haps in connection with this pleasant fancy,
perhaps on account of the atmosphere,
seems to draw me towards them tonight.
Smoking my old and we'll tried NEAR
schaum at furious rate, and the bowl at
one end and myself at the other, puff in
amicable alienation, like the exhausts Of
a Mississippi Steamer; l like to smoke;
how many pleasant fancies and delicate
forms ones imagination creates out of the
ETHEREAL blue vapor as it rises with slow
and graceful motions, ever changing IN
form by the currents of air, and in color
by the soft tints the freight casts on
them. These with my clock and fire dogs
furnish matter for plenty of ideal fancies,
in which delight; smoke systematical-
ly, in fact do everything almost by clock.
work, as the matchmaker said, conse.
quently when l take up my pipe "a regu'
lar sumner by the bye and holds on once
generally intend to (as Dickens would
say make night of it, To me there's
nothing like good old pipe and stiff
whiskey punch for real solid comfort, none
of your what would -your-wife-say trouble
here. since Pm in blessed state Of single,
ness, and have been for many year; JUS
then my eye lit on a pamphlet. which was
lying among a number of books on the
table, bearing the astonishing announce
ment, Miseries of Matrimony, by A. j
Beacon; so thought the blessings of /,
general peace in this country, contrasted
with the wickedness of woman, has 81
wrought upon this mans feelings as t.
cause Elm to light his literatorial lamp
and place himself as beacon to warn th'
sailors over this worlds restless tide, t
beware the shoals ofmatrimony, at which
conceit l glanced round the room half ex
pecting to see some middle aged lady will
several sportive, dirty faced little speci
mems. bowling, bawling, scuffling and de
stroying things generally, and offered VI
a mental thanksgiving at finding ther'
were none. What, thought l, pursuin.
the fancy, what if it were SO jumpet
from my chair and commenced pacing tn
floor in very agitation at the thought
what If were bound to a being be sh
handsome, or not, for better, for worse
for richer for poorer, and in case of som
sudden misfortune requiring all my mora
courage, she should come to me with he
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