The Council Bluffs nonpareil. [volume] (Council Bluffs [Iowa]) 1857-1867, 1857-06-06

,h,cA Il god, ~ 70 ~ sass wAiA n esnearsavey
ountry is vell ssstlsa. ys1 may de twssH mllss .
he road running sast, ard VIII md but 80 fan 0s
.ntire distance.
Where are the boasted rivals? echo an.
,wers "w-h-a-r." Perhaps the fertil i'm.
agination Of the editor Of the Cosr;er might
point them out, bat NO one else, would b at
al likely TO stake his reputation upon such an
issue. cat Florence and Crescent Cit" me
thinks I hear the editor say. All! rivals in !.
deed, and the decomposition il even now
plainly perceptibls in her trade and improve
ments."
why, my dear sir; the Improvements OF
this city, and the trade Of her merchants,
are such, at this time, that all the sums to
be expended in Nebraska for several years
to come, for the improvements Of self
STYLED towns, and all the merchandise that
will be brought into them for sale BY such
braggarts as the editor Of the Courier,
would be mere pittance in comparison
Whore are your Wholesale houses, such Is
ToortE & Jackson, GEORGE DoUcHrY 4
Co., C. j. Fo1, McBR1DE / BowEs, G..
vooRHls, JAMES HENsHALL, MILTON RocERs,
BABB1rr & Ross, THOMPSON & SIEGRIsr,
W. G. AspRus, RANDALs & GEaHAar, and
others, that we might name. Deny 1t as you
may, Council Bluffs will retain the trade Of
Western Iowa and Nebraska for many years
to come. The editor says, "you may ride
twenty miles on the road running East, and
will find but one farm the entire distance"
In reading that sentence, we are almost led
to exclaim with the sspoic"-s'what lie."
The sun never shone upon better lands than
those lying East of this city, on the Mosqui-
toe, Poney, Mud and Keg Greeks, and there
docs not occur an interval of even foe
miles, between farms, upon the road running
East of this city, until you get fifty miles
from here, and we are surprised that the edi-
tor of the Courier should give utterance to
such an untruth, when he knew better. If
he never had travelled the route, he might
plead in palliation, his ignorance, but hay
ing traversed this section of country fire.
quently, he cannot put in that plea in extenu.
alton. ssTo what base purposes" &c.
But, to cap the climax, the aforesaid edi.
tor has invented new theory. After de.
failing all the disadvantages of Council
Bluffs, and pictured her decaying trade-he
winds up by saying, as clincher:
clowns on the Eastern bank Of a river however ia
vorable their locations, good their landings elegant
their Sites never attain the einence Of those on the
. country town; not as great distributing point
not as q great commercial emporium"
Shades of all of the eminent philosophers,
hide your diminished heads, and give place
to this modern Western sage!
-"let his disposition have that scope
That dotage gives it,"
Well, it is said that certain men believe the
moon to consist of green cheese. 1t has al
so been currently reported that there are
those who can be instigated to the pursuit Of
a rainbow, with the expectation of finding
a pot of money at the further end, when it
comes down to the ground. Some, doubt
less, are confident that DR.. Brandreth's pills
will cure smoky chimneys, and that the lat
est advertised Hair Oil will start the fur
out Of a smooth pine board, transmute a
dry goods box into hair trunk, or blad-
der into an seal-skin cap, and evoke whisk-
ers from the palm of the hand. These are,
extant, trustful beings-what dewey fresh
ness must be in their hearts!-- who put faith
in the purity of politicians, and believe that
they unwillingly take Office. Possibly, there
is somebody left, who thinks the Southern
States will seceede-though We imagine he
must now be sought in the idiotic ward of
some insane asylum. But all these simple
tons, and another if we could find him, who
thinks he can catch larks for breakfast, by
the falling of the sky, and that twice two
are fve-and-a- quarter, deserve places among
the seven wise men-whether Of Greece or
comparison with the ineffa-
bic goose of the Courier-the ideal Of all
geese, the great grandfather, as the Arabs
would say, of all the minnies in the whole
world, if alive, whose gullet is expansive
enough to swallow this recent fsh-like in
yention of his--that towns on the East side
Of the river, no matter what the extent of
their business, nor what advantages they
may may possess in point of location, can
never become large city. We cannot fight
upon this argument-for the editor seems
to have advanced it .
s'with purpose to be dressed in opinion
OF wisdom, gravity, profound conceit."
And will here throw down our pen, after
asking our contemporary to excuse US for in
dulging in indecorous laughter.
Randals 4 G erhart.