The Council Bluffs nonpareil. [volume] (Council Bluffs [Iowa]) 1857-1867, 1857-07-25

004N6 II Sk1 - 49, kaaA -.
joseph Green MA brought in fae nlsiAg
been inehriated and aslecp upon the high
way. He had been having - evening,s
amusement in the course Of which hs Aad
been 70 the circus, and afterwards 70 NJ
bowling alley and shooting gallery with
a friend whom h had picked up. By the
kind permission Of the judge he was allowed
to tell the story in his own way; waich he
did in . very disjuintsd style, and with 4
great deal Of saInestness and yolubiity,
somewhat after tho fashion Of The well
known Alfred Jingle.
Nv name is Green, Mr. Judge; live in the
country; come down hcSe for the fret time
to see the city; stop at Mr.. Astor's tavern
in Broadway street; 6ae place; good bar
tender, biz whisfsrs, dces things with =
kind Of hourishy jerk peculiar - himsslf;
didn't know any body in the city; perfect
stlknger; got my supper; went out on the
steps; man came elong-good looking man,
shiny hat, big chsip, stand up collar, cane
with jack knife in; introduced himself;
said he was stranger too, wanted me to 60
with him and pass = pleasant evening; agreed
to go; wentstook something TO drink be-
fore We a; got . little ways, and he
said hadn ker take ~ NIP; toek . nips
him wasn'. Esqsa led with the circus, but
trot it out; kAspan hadn't We better have
something fin$ I'D something; got to the
door; my friend Had left his pocket book at
home; borrowed $40 and paid for two; gave
me the change, IL one dollar bill, three pew
ter dimes and 4 smooth cent; didn't under
stand York currency, but thought it all
right; got inside; place near the door with
bottles in also glasses and pumps and ma
hogany handles; friend said, "Should we
smile?" '
We smiled; stepped along and looked at
the performances; men with nothing on but
a crown and pair of tight breeches cover
ed with sixpences, and women with petit.
coats as long as turnover collar, all stand
ing on one leg on horse back, except when
they were rolling heels over head in the
saw dust trying to catch the tips Of their toes
in their teeth;remarkable feats; all horses had
two tails, and all the men were double
headed; friend said it was the effect of the
last smile, and proposed that We should take
something to take the dust out Of our eyes
got something to take the dust out Of our
eyes-friend said if I'd seen enough we'd
go-took last look-the men with the six
penny breeches were dancing with the ladies'
with the short skirts, which seemed all up
side down down like bowl-man with a
whip was cracking at every body, especially
at the fellow with tho three corned patches
all over him who was standing on his head
on pewter platter on top pair Of stills
stopped at the place with the bottles in
friend said should we imbibe--we imbibed
went out, brought up against an oyster
cart, tried to kick over the oyster cart; got
my leg between the wheels--new hat fell Of,
couldn't get up, concluded to sit dowa--did
set down in my hat---friend helped me up
and tied my hat on with . string-fricnd
said shouldn't we take sniffer-tooks "a
sniffer-went to a shooting place-tried to
kill the cast iron man with the pipe in his
mouth-don't think did, fred seven times
and all the balls lodged in the ceiling over
head except one which went through the toe
of my boot and struck in the floor; friend
said hadn't we better hOrn-horned; started
for bowling saloon; got part way; friend
proposed that we should stop ut milk punch
place and take suck--took a suck; got to
rolling place; thought I'd roll the first ball;
didn't stay on the alley; the second l let slip
behind me, and it smashed u cage and de-
molished a canary, while the last one bit
the pin boy and knocked him through tho
side of the house; friend said shouldn't we
go to tho bar and ''Let 'em up''-''Let 'cm
up We did, and kept doing so till the floor
looked ike river, and tried to drink the
coal hod, under the impression that it was
glass Of brandy and sugar, hot; friend
said shouldn't We julip-juliped; he then
proposed that we should cocktail cocktail
ed; friend borrowed my pocket book and
coat, officer came, and here am. e.
MIR. Green was reprimanded and discharg-
ed, further punishment being considered
unnecessary, in consideration Of the loss
while seeing the elephant.-N. Y. Tribune