davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Indiana American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1833-1861, 1857-06-26
HOW MEN DIE

Some men die in ignorance, uncon-
cerned, and seemingly, without fear
for the future. Others are sullen and
silent, as if determined TO brave it
out ut all hazards. Others are so
weried out by long illness and contin-
ued pain, that they are eager for the
change, yet give no evidence of being
in a ft state 10 appear before Cod
Others abound in professions Of hope
and confidence, yet leave impartial
observers at n loss TO conceive what
basis there can be for such assurance.
Others again, give their friends every
reason TO think that they are real
children of God, make tho dread pas
sage with little or no sensible COM
fort--in not few cases, undor dark
and heavy cloud
The majority of consistent Christi
ans have their last end as il is DESERT
bed by the Psalmist in single word,
IL is peace A few of them, howev-
or, taste heaven this side of the old
Jordan, and their rapture is a thing
10 be witnessed in order 10 be under
stood.
There is avery 81 mple rule for the
direction ofany ono whofeels concern
cd about the manner he is to meet
the last enemy. This is to live ha-
bitually in communion with God
through Jesue Christ. Such a life
cannot end miserably. Death must
bo to IL only the browning seal of It's
steadfast course, the finishing touch
10 its lofty blessednesss.-C Christian
InteiiigeRcer.
Indiana American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1833-1861, 1857-06-26
THINGS UNKNOWN.

Show us the young lady whose
waist has ever been encompassed by
an arm Of the sea.
Where is the identical nose Of the
bellows that never smelt rat2
Where is the person who has ever
felt for the heart Of an oak?
Was any barber ever applied 10 te
shave the beard Of an oyster?
Where is the girl who was ever mar.
ried TO a pigs "chap?"
Where Is the man 10 be found who
was ever sensibly felt by hand ol
pork? 'n at h
What vocalism can lay claim tc
having ever been listened TO by an ear
Of corn? ta.
Who has ever been pushed by O
shoulder of mutton? We know ma
ny who have been greatly pushed for
one.
The individual who has ever been
seen by the eye Of q potato, has never
been visible. Barnum may possibly
discover him.
Was there ever an individual 80 un.
fortunate as TO be abused by the mouth
Of q river?
Who ever felt the breath from the
lungs Of chest Of drawers2
Indiana American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1833-1861, 1857-06-26
PROSPECT OF THE WORLD.

The following sketch is given Of a
recent sermon by the Rev. DIR. Dur
bin r'e'if
He showed the following important
facts: /. That the Christian religion
has the effect Of stimulating industry,
and promoting the happiness of man,
physically considered. 2. That only
Christian nations conduct the COM
merce of the world, and that this has
had the effect of causing the decay OF
the prosperity of heather Countries =
3. That all Christian countries in
crease in population; while the others
decrease in population; and, in proof
of this truth, DIR. Durbin referred to
the empire Of Turkey. 4. That if all
Christian nations, including the u. s.,
were to combine, they could do as
they please with the rest Of the world.
5. That within the last fifty or a
hundred years, all the inventions
which have been patented are for the
benefit of not a few, but for the many,
the millions.
In heather countries these things
do not exist. Intact, the doctor drew
q strong contrast between Christian
and anti Christian countries, and in
sisted that the church is not alone in
terested in those revolutions; but all
persons livining in Christian lands
shorld assist in the amelioration Of
tho condition Of the heathen world.
Indiana American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1833-1861, 1857-06-26
BLuNpERs.

The Franklin Register lately pub.
lished an address by Rev. Mr.. Abbot
and its next issue contained the fol.
lowing correction;
"For dunn swizzle, please read
prominence
This was bad enough, but the next
week the same paper had the follow.
ing:
ain an advertisement which appear.
cd in our paper last week, for 'Bumb.
leton's worm destroying porringers,
read, sHamilton's 8 worm destroying 10.
zenges.'
Faulkner, who edited the Dublin
Journal, announced in glowing terms
the arrival in that city of distin.
guished member Of the British nobil.
ity. On the next day his paper con.
tanned the following very Hibernian
correction:
For Her Grace, the Duke in
yesterdays Journal, read His Grace
the Duchess. F"
He improved the matter quite as
much as the good clergyman in Eng
land did, who without book was pray
ing, and said,
"Oh. Lord, bless all classes Of soci.
ETY., from the beggar on the throne tc
the king on the dunghill--we mean
from the king on the dunghill TO the
beggar on the throne.
Indiana American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1833-1861, 1857-06-26
FLATS OF OUR roRErArHEss,

The Household Words Almanac
gives the following extraordinary feats
Of our forefathers:
On the 18th of January 1767, a
gentleman skated mile in just 81 Sc
conds.
On the 10Th of March man ran
miles in 46 minutes, 81 lbs. on
his head.
On the goth of March, 1863, John
Harrison, son Of q poor Yorkshire
carpenter, obtained, by n time-keep-
or of his own making, the f20, 900 re-
ward offered in Queen Anne's time for
the means of determining the longi-
tude at sea within half degree Of a
circle. When Harrison was a child
six years old, being confined to his
bed by illness, he had O watch placed
upon a pillow, that he might amuse
himself with observations ofits move
ments.
On tho 18th OF May, 1881, farmer
rode pony up two pairof stairs and
down again, at the George Inn, Kerk-
ton, Lindsey.
On the 18th Of August, l74s, Jona-
than Baxter crossed the Thames, at
Blackford, in a butchers tray, pad
ding with his hands.
On the 4th Of November, 1891, q
gentleman rodo boar pig n miles in
DO minutes. a'e''''' l''' '..' e
Indiana American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1833-1861, 1857-06-26
NEVER nr nrscounAorn.

"A late philosopher says that how
ever desperate tho game may be
"never be discouraged" There il
wisdom in this. A few years since
Bolts purchased q lot Of stocks, on
speculation. The next day the bot
tom fell out of the money market
stocks took a tumble. Bolts was
seized with fear and trembling. To
prevent being ruined, he increased
the flavor of his coffee one morning,
by adding sixpence worth Of arsenic
toit. Poor fellow, had he played out
his cards, he would have made q
thousand dollars by Incorporation. A
few weeks after he was "fenced in
with mahogany" stocks took turn
and went up like balloons. Virgins,
some six months since, endorsed for
a friend, and to the extent ofs50, 900.
His friend could not meet his engage
ments. The notes were protested,
Virgins took to drink--drink brought
on delirium tremens, q shaved head,
and visit TO the lunatic asylum.
Virgins got discouraged too early.
His friend met with q windfall-paid
off his indebtedness, and is now one
of tho riches men in the city. Wig
gins, we regret TO say, is still at the
asylum. He enjoys good health, but
will havo il that he is ga mud machine
without diggers." Again we say,
never be DISCOURAGED. but keen fight
ing tho battle Of life manfully.
Indiana American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1833-1861, 1857-06-26

is il settled that you and Dickie will
be married soon?"
eyes, Bridget, i may as well tell
you, for you will know all about 1t
before long, replied Maggie, thought
fully.
"You'll never tell him what / said
about him yesterday morning, will
you, dear?"
"No-I guess not"
"Well, it's nothing, after all-his
stammering It's only once in the
while h word; and then he always
says just what he wants to, at last,
and it's always something good, too,
so where's the difference"
Indeed, Maggie, / don't believe
he'll stammer so much now, that he
knows you love him. dare say he's
always felt embarrassed like, when he
was near you; butnow he'll feel more
free, and talk easier"
eyes, he did last night, Bridgy.-
He bid me good bye, and told me
when he would come and see me, just
as well as you orI. And, o, Bridgy
he's so goodl Now that's the thing,
after all, isn't it?" And again the
cambric dress was saved from being
soilcd, only by its polished surface,
over which the friends tears glided
an offering at each others feet.
"There, it's all as good as ever now, =
said Bridget, holding up the mended
garment, triumphantly.
eyes; it'll never show u bit where
IL was torn"
"And can wear it to your we'd
ding, Maggie"
"And ] hope there'll be nobody
there that'll tear il againl'
always wish a good wish, sure
It's you that deserves a good hus.
band" And throwing her arms a.
round Maggie's neck, tho friends
promised everlasting constancy To
each other, whatever the future might
make of change for them.
Indiana American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1833-1861, 1857-06-26

neH- A student of ono of our State
Colleges had q barrel of ale deposited
in his room, contrary TO usage. lie
received u summons TO appear before
the President, who said,
"Sir, am informed that you have
barrel Of ale in your room"
Yes, sir"
"Well, what explanation can you
make?"
"Why, the fact is, sir, my physic-
ian advised me totry little each day
rs a tonic, and not wishing TO stop al
the various places where the bevor-
age is retailed, / concluded TO have q
barrel of it taken to my ROOM"
Indeedl and have you derived any
benefit from the use of it?'
GAY, yes, sir. When the barrel
was first taken 10 my room, two days
since, / could scarcely lift il. Now
can carry it with the very greatest
ease"
We believe the student was dis.
charged withoutspecial reprimand.-
Rochester Uniou.
Indiana American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1833-1861, 1857-06-26
THE FINISHING OF THE TEMPLE.

Suppose the period arrived when
the scailolding is struck down and
the rubbish moved away,-that is,
suppose this earth, which was the
stage for its erection, nowmoved from
beneath il, and the wicked and the
refuse of mankind cast far away out
of sight; conceive you see nothing bu,
the building,-lol il stands high in
view, for the admiration of the sur
rounding universe. "Walk about
Zion, and go round about her; tell the
towers thereof mark yo well her bull
warks; consider her placos-that "
may tell il to tho generation follow.
ing" What is her foundation2 The
rock Of ages Who is her inhabitanti
Her inhabitant is God
Not q flaw or a blemish is tobo seen
every stone in its proper place, and
all contributing to the beauty of the
whole. No want Of semmotry in the
general outline plan-nothing imper-
feet in the execution Of each part.
Behold, il stands an eternal monu.
ment--the glory of God, of his power
and wisdom, and gracel IL is all
bright aud glorious wherever you
take your view of it-radiating in
every part with the beaming of divine
glory. Her light is like unto n stone
most precious, even like a jasper. II
is a temple Of souls, every stone is q
living, soul Blood bought spiritsl-
Every one is q chosen warrior who
has fought his battle in his day, and
has conquered. They have como out
Of great tributation to be stones for
this building. Afiliction gave them
their polish and the cement which
unite them is love.-Reu. II. Martin.
Indiana American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1833-1861, 1857-06-26

i am astonished, at your honor's
decisionI said young lawyer TO a
Judge who had decreed against him.
This romark cannot be permitted,
said the judge, and an apology viii
be necessary on your part. Permit
me-. said the senior counsel, to offer
an excuse for my young friend; he is
new in these matters and when. he
has practicrd as long before your hon.
or IS ! have, he viii be astonished at
nothing. - 4 =
Indiana American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1833-1861, 1857-06-26

When the duke Of Rutland was Vice.
roy Of Ireland. Sir John Hamilton at
tended one OF bis leyees.
"This is a timely rain. said the Vice
roy, cit viii bring every thing above
ground"
II hope not my Lord" replied Sir
John, "for ! have three wives there"
Indiana American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1833-1861, 1857-06-26

POPULAR FALLAcIEs--That cream
candy is made of cream. .
That city milk comes from cows.
That qualification lie necessary to
obtain office. -
That money can be made at iaro
bank. ffr eri
Indiana American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1833-1861, 1857-06-26
WoMrN-In Kentucky tbere n,

WoMES.-In Kentucky there are
colleges for women, which confer on
their fair pupils the titles of IN. p
L." IN. A." &C., meaning "Mistress
of Polite Literature, Mistress Of
Arts" Somebody suggests an i'm
provement, and recommends institu-
ton which instead ofthese titles, shall
give the students, 'sM. G.. p" Make
Good Puddings; aH. G.. c." Has Good
Children; "K. s. N" Knits Stockings
Neatly; IN. II. H." Makes Husbands
Happy. W
Indiana American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1833-1861, 1857-06-26

Dropped eggs are probably the
most healthfdl form in which they
can be prepared for the table. Break
the eggs very carefully into q pan Of
scalding water, and let the water
come gradually TO q boil, removing
the eggs with a SKINNER as soon as
tho white is set. Serve on q hot plat.
ter, with littlc salt, pepper, andbut
tor, or lay the eggs on hot buttered
toast. For invalids use cream instead
of butter.
Indiana American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1833-1861, 1857-06-26

s@- "oh, whistle, daughter, whis-
tie, and you shall have cow"
81 never whistled In my life, and
cant whistle now" 80
:" Oh, whistle, daughter, whistle,
and you shall have man"
81 never whistled in my life, but III
whistle if / can"
Indiana American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1833-1861, 1857-06-26

A CONSTABLE PUT TO MS WITs.-
The Louisville Courier is responsible
for tho following rather keen sheep
affair in that city:
A drover was with good flock,
which he was about selling South; but
pending the trade constable levied
upon tho sheep for an old debt, and
drove them into an enclosure. The
moment the constable was out Of
sight, the drover sold them 10 another
man, who turned them in with apoth-
or flock. At last accounts, the consta-
bic was trying to "identify" his
sheep. s'
Indiana American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1833-1861, 1857-06-26

BsS-"Good heavensl" exclaimed the
sitting Magistrate at Bow street, ''must
send this starving woman to prison, for
stealing ten pennyworth Of baconl''
Why, certainly. What do you occupy
the judgement-scat for? Sentence rem
dered accordingly. But, Law is lawl"
When shall justice take its place? No
wonder that people despise the law.
Indiana American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1833-1861, 1857-06-26

p6- Here is sample of primitive
preaching" heard, notlong since, from
a pulpit in the country; -
"Yet, my brethren. times have
changed; our fathers were contenten-
ted with plain fare; but folks now-a-
days must have raspberry sarcc, or
they think it's mean livin'l" ~
Indiana American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1833-1861, 1857-06-26

~ When old Zecharish Fox, the
great merchant Of fLiyerpool, was once
asked by what means he contrived to
realize so largea fortune, his reply
was: afI nl.t 1870
Friend, by onearticle alone, which
thou may'st deal in too, IL thou pleas
est--cIyILITY."
Indiana American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1833-1861, 1857-06-26

sD-The man who pushes aside the
paper with the first sip Of coffee, and says
there is nothing In II, and who turns up
his nose at ty biographical errors, m light
find profitable exercise in trying to ge!
up a paper ofhis own some evening. and
then get the candid opinion of his friends
upon its merits.
Indiana American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1833-1861, 1857-06-26

- A lady on relating her matri-
monial experience, said; ..tea -
"Atfrst, on retiring Of q cold night,
my husband used to say TO me, Put
your dear little FOOTE'S with mine;'-
but soon II was, keep your hoofs of
Of me-"
Indiana American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1833-1861, 1857-06-26

~Jeremy Taylor says: Cheerful
ness and festive spirit, fills the soul
full Of harmony; il composes music for
churches and hearts; Il makes and pub
fishes the glori6cation Of God; Il produ.
COS thankfulness, and serves the end Of
charity.
Indiana American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1833-1861, 1857-06-26
nl,z-we frd bu, fe,v h;.,,

B0~We find but few historians of all
ages who have been dilligcnt enoughi n
their search for truth il is their com
mon method to take on trust what they
distribute TO the public. by which means
falsehood once received from famed
writer becomes traditional 10 posterity.
Indiana American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1833-1861, 1857-06-26

D@-Man doubles all the evils Of bis
fate by pondering over them. A scratch
becomes a wound, slight an injury, a
jest an insult, small peril great dan
ger, and a slight sickness often ends in
death, by brooding apprehensions.
Indiana American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1833-1861, 1857-06-26
ABOVE SrEALIso.--"Billy, how did

ABOVE STEALIya.--"Billy, how did
you lose your fnger?"
Easily enough" answered Billy,
sharply
"Yes, suppose 80, but how7"
'Tguess you d alost your'n if ithad
been where mine was"
"That don't answer my question"
said the other.
"well, IL you must know" replied
Billy, "I had to cut il of, or else steal
the trap"
Indiana American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1833-1861, 1857-06-26
pa-Dibdin had a horse which he cal

Dibdin had horse which he cal
led Graphy.
ga very odd name" remarked log.
Oxbury. Mr.
mot at alp replied the wit, ''it is
ical.
"How so.
"Why, when i bought him it was q
Buy-a-graphy; when l mount him il il
Topography; and when want him tc
go, tits Gee-ho.graphy."
Indiana American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1833-1861, 1857-06-26

s~Every virtue gives man de-
gree Of felicity Of some kind. Honesty
gives q man good report, justice. esti-
nation; prudence, respect; courtesy and
lberality, affection; temperance gives
health.
Indiana American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1833-1861, 1857-06-26

- iV" c"n you, my ueHri prefer
punch 10 winesY'
because, my dear, 'tis SO like mat
rimony, such charming compound
of opposite qualities. . ~
cay, l am the weak part Of II l
suppose"
mo, my love you are the sweet,
with dash of the acid, and no small
portion Of the spirit"
Indiana American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1833-1861, 1857-06-26

DOrJones thinks that Smith has been
too free, and halls him thus:
"Mr. smith. / wish TO speak to you
privately"
Every well sir"
"Butpermit me to take you apart for
few moments"
Smith. "a Bit Of a wag) "0hl certain.
y kr. Jones. If you'll promise 10 put me
together again"
Jones vsmosed without waiting Ter
any explanation. "a
Indiana American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1833-1861, 1857-06-26

~ Dean Swift said, with much
truth, at is useless 10 attempt 10 rea-
son man out of thing he was new
or been reasoned into
Indiana American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1833-1861, 1857-06-26

A DASpr-A specimen of the hu-
man family that passes for q man "
mong women, and for woman among
men.
Indiana American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1833-1861, 1857-06-26

pD-No historian dare tell the truth.
II be did, his book would't sell Who,
then, are we TO believer That's the
question.
Indiana American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1833-1861, 1857-06-26

~ A troup of monkeys are per-
forming theatrieals In the city Of Bos.
ton. rf
Indiana American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1833-1861, 1857-06-26

Pretty EXCUSE FOR A WIFE BEAT
ER.-The treasures which we value
most we hide.
Indiana American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1833-1861, 1857-06-26

eE A horse that lives upon hay
could not get up an oats trot to save
its life.
Indiana American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1833-1861, 1857-06-26
ebaits Yastrs.
rIf L 4 ~ L . fc1l4
"wxxP MOT ToR TIE DEAD" -

Hf -. AUGUSTA bAsSET.
on, % not weep ior sho.s Who sleep aef
In sarsh's green, tranquil hresss, s.
rofIs indeed must be moss sweet.
~ 70 die and BE- Il rest. e
rhss no. win sli II weary ssrifs,
n And Ne DARK. xns~inx xrisf tiau |dn
Has ra.ssd, end thsy have found a last ~.
A As'o''oa'rsi'sf' aaaats.ie slle
ohi DO NOT slxh fsr shoss Who die
- In sanny ehildhoo1's eloem, ~ .a
EFs dimm'd BY care their fAees fAlf,
Or young hsafts ehllI'd with gloon,
They dwell above, In Js.us' love,
p. ssears and essfblsst Y
) a.fs In h,s arms frsn All that harlns.
Thsy svsrnors shall rest.
q ohtds not xrIsss for those Who lssrs
g. oarssvsh inyouth's Ei@a hsars. iHa 2
While Ilfs doth ssem sfaIry's dream,
Aud their fset press but howers:
They ns'er shall know sad, bitter woe,
Dep agony or pain,
Nosln shall blight their spirits bright,
8 os their souls whitsnes- stain.
But rather weep for those Who keep
Life's weary vigil stiil.
D Who valnly toll wIih earthly spoil 8.
Their hsavsn-born soulsie 1lli
Whom crime aud vice strive 10 snties
From virtues pleasant road
Anxious 70 tear me spirits rare
'tct Prom glory and from God.
fIItL tIfIitt t
Thrice happy they. who pass away 8 "a,
From earth, and are set free,
Ese one spot oiings % their soul wings,
Tomsr thsir purity ~
, Thsh we'll act weep for thsse who sleep,
,1r Batssr.ve wish faith and prayer
To gain Jon shore. and svsrisere
bs where our loved ones are.
broskville, June ioua, fss7.
Indiana American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1833-1861, 1857-06-26

Housemaid.-why, John?
Coachman.-Aw, well, Mary, you
see they don't suit my style They
haven't any marriageable daughters
in the family.
Indiana American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1833-1861, 1857-06-26

Ne n~fs'ry; boyi an honest man can't live by's
uh slstls. snssking ara, which knaves
= uss 70 eAjols and sefssp fools wlshsL
p 10 thou hast nstt,ry in thy nature, out wishr;
= or ssnd u TO court, Zoe thers twill thnve.
- OrWIx.
Indiana American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1833-1861, 1857-06-26

p6v- Coachman TO housemaid. )--I
think l shall leave this family, Ma
Indiana American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1833-1861, 1857-06-26

~ s1srER,s LOVE-
ny wx. rRY.
No iovs T. Ike q sisters love.
Un-einsh, free. and pure,-
Aaams hat IIshsd from above,
win guide; but ne'er allure.
nknsvs no frown Of jealous fear,
No blush Of conscious guile;
rts wrongs are parionsi n rough . tear,
/. shopss crowned By smile.
TIE FrRRsIDE.
Prem the gar world xs'll on retire
To oar fAriy and are.
Where love our hours smpioys
No noisy neishbos enter here,
No intsrmeddlInx stranger near,
To spoil our hesrtfsltloys. CoIrox.