Anti-slavery bugle. [volume] (New-Lisbon, Ohio) 1845-1861, 1857-08-15
TIL SHAM FAMILY,

Mr.. Sham lives mp town in q brown stone front.
with damask and lace at the windows. lie is a
respectable man, always courteous and ready to
do YOU a kindness, or to make an ingenious excuse
if he cannot. MIR. Sham hires his coach and
horses by the year, and his handsome ccachman'
too but, if he spoke of them, be would tell you,
in round terms, that his establishment cost him a
cool two thousand and he wouldn't think of keep
ing so expensive an e~quipage, only Mrs. Sham's
health is delicate, and the little Sham's, cooped mp
as they are in the city, need a daily drive out OF
town. Mr.. Sham sports a dashing watch, with
heavy seal and chain, that look very much like
gold, owing to a singular custom of the owner,
who uses a certain white powder and n piece OF
buckskin on them every morning; and nobody
surmises that Mr.. Sham would wear anything but
gold. That worthy gentleman is constantly talk
ing Of his family across the water, all of whom
are dukes and dutchesses, lords and ladies, and
squires Of high degree. lie is to come in possess
ion of a fabulous fortune when somebody dies, for
whom he has too sincere a respect to wish that con
summation devoutly. lie is going to buy such
and such a country seat the next summer, il
business will only be kind enough just to slack a
little, a very little, Just long enough to let him
run up to L, or d., to survey the premises and ex'
anime the deed.
Everything belongingto Mr.. Sham is mortga ged,
except his wife ard children, and so are they to an
inexorable degree, to ultimate rain! Mr.. Sham is
a great boaster; in plain language, Mr.. Sham is a
HIcul lldl ut IL llCu GU lODR Nidl luC HOuI man
never knows when he tells the truth himself in
deed, his conscience only troubles him when he is
not inventing.
Mrs. Sham Ia magnificent person in red
velvet, and a grand match for her husband. Dine
with Mrs. Sham. Hear her regret that her head
cook Ia fabulous personage) was unfoI tunately
taken sick, and is suffering up stairs with a head
ache. Notice her reprimand to Harriet Jane, the
eldest daughter that she did not make that stupid
Biddy put on the best set OF silver. Hear hel
talk Of the pleasure of her last years travelling
tour, when she staid at home all summer, shut w
in the back part Of her house. Behold her jewel
ry, paste and Irish diamonds her lace-nOthinG
but sham in place of the real. Listen to the storie!
she tells Of her childhood: if you did not know
that her mother was once an honest, hard workin,
wash woman, you would be tempted to believe
that she had never taken n step on the cold groun(
in her life before she was married, and that il
some way she was related to Queen Victoria OF
to Louis Napoleon,
The lit;lo Shams are epitomes of both parents
They begin already to substitute the false for the
real to brag Of deeds they never performed to
talk of families they never visited and to watch
each other closely, that there may be no discrep-
ancies. Poor, unhappy little Shams! what a life
they will lead and it they 81 ould happen to fall
from even the scale in which they appear at
present snugly balanced, | Tear they will find
apartments in a strong house with iron bars at the
windows, and whose degradation and discipline
arc anything Iut shams.