The southern enterprise. [volume] (Greenville, S.C.) 1854-1870, 1857-09-24
Mrs. Stubbins in Difficulty.

mrs. Stubbins in Difficulty.
We are sorry for Mrs. Stubbins :" but
what can we CO about it The match was
none OF our making.
" IL is notorious fact that never work
myself into excessive inspiration, or elo.
quence, when the younger halfdozen of my
offspring are playing hide and.seek behind
my chair, neither do my thoughts flow SO
freely when hand.organ and tamborne
are grinding and chattering under my win
dow; but there is one ANNOYANCE much
worse than either. 1t is summed up in two
words-just ten letters-Mr. Stubbn> ~
"How happened 10 become possessed of
that eternal nuisance, deponent saith not :;
indeed, | don't know as it is any ones bust
ness TO inquire but | will say to the detri.
ment of certain fortune teller, Miss Stepin-
fast, now running loose over the country,
ard for the benefit of those hv Der enticcG
that when she made out, in my 'deStinv,'
jeremiah Stubbins to be the foreorlained
partner of my joys and sorrows, and ha"ing
consulted the stars, further prophesied that
said jeremiah Stuhbins would understand
and encourage all my intellectual proclivi
'les-she lied; poetica!y speaking, her pre-.
sentiments were unreal as shadows philoso
phIcally, her statements were fallaciouS.
ma,hematically, her calculations were incor.
rect politely, She was mistaken OF this |
have constant and nndubi;abIe proof; al.
though L have sometime chaIitahIy excul.
patel Miss Sicpinfast, she might innocentlv
have made blunder in regard to the plan.
cts, placing mine in undue propinquily to
that of MIR. Stubbins.
Good Heavens Jeremiah Sluhhius men.
tai integraIity par value with mine: When
he never read a line Of the immortal Slap.
enjack or Thimblerig; nor poems of ,hc
pathetic Sliccr, or Bluecoltles never wrote
an article for the Squabbletown F!ambcr
caster = nor praised any that | contributed
thereto. But these are negative proofs.
com" next 10 positive ones-the ovewhelm-
ing trials of my existence.
Scene First; for the benefit of connois.
seur artists room, hack one Of the whole
suit, vulgarly named kitchen. Curtain ria.
es: ! am reclining ncglige on an elegant
chintz colored lounge, with the auburn hair
thrown off my brow. An indefinite num-
ber of cherubs (wiIhoat wings) bending un.
der :he weight of bricks, blocks and ham.
mer for carPentering operations. in the fore.
ground and back ground. | am engaged in
writing my twovolume novel, that is to
give me TO fame.
" had been thus occupied for the space
Of half an hour, and was just celebrating
the character of the heroine Diana. (hc plot
was not laid in Eph,sus, but this Diana
meant should he after the Ephe>ian model.
of which had once seen wood ,ut.) and
| was preparing somewhat for her to say, on
came Mr.. Srubbins. My hope "f success
was slightly shaken, but scratched away
vigorously. Heard Mr.. Stubbins grumLling
because the dinner-dishes were not washed,
and the boot jack got in the watcr,pail at
which | reused slightly, told him 10 spread
the boot jack out to dry. and wash the dish
es himself, which things he proceeded to do
| took long breath. Now thought L. |
shall have peace But that at was a dis.
count. THIS masculine Bridget had not long
been at the sink, before you would have
imagined the dishes had an ague fit, such
commotion arose among them. Still |
wrote on: Thou JOY of all joys! king Of
Tremendous crash StubJins baby
and gridiron, all on tho floor togcthcr.-
Baby screecbed from fright. StubbiEs took
1t and began 10 walk the floor in those huge
cow-hide boots of his. Squeak squeak
squeak Good gracious said |. do sit
down. He sat down and tilted the child
i'll chair without rockers. Bump bump
bump jarring the whole room. Here re-
monstrated and urged the necessity of
quiet to the successful prosecution of my
literary labors wnen Stubbins put Arabella
down, meekly returned to his dishes, look
ing extremely puzzled, and cumsiIy hitting
his boots against everything in his attempt
to navigate"