Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1857-03-19

Every man is volume, if you but know
how to read him.
A felon generally appears at the end of
finger, and sometimes at the end of rope.
Happiness is like. a pig with greasy
tail, which every one runs after, but nobody
can hold.
- Religion is aninsurance against fire in
the next world, for which honesty is the
best policy.
Society, like shaded silk, must be view
ed in ali its situations, or its colors will de-
ceiye us.
There Was once man so intensely po-
lite, that, as he passed a hen on her nest, he
said, "Eon't rise, ma'am.'
- Cotton is called the great American sta
pie, yet the annual crop is exceeded in val
ue by the corn and wheat crops.
When lazy may man says, "I'll do it
at my LEISURE" you may take it for granted
that he will not do it at all.
- Bene6cence is the most exquisite luxu-
ry; and the good man, after, all, is the gen.
uine epcure.
The man who made an impression on
the heart of coquette-has become skill
full tone-cutter.
An English writer classified old maids
and bachelors as "solitary mature men and
women who have nothing happening to them.
An Infamous bachelor being asked if he
had ever witnessed a public execution, re-
piled, "No but / once saw marriage"
Don't blunt your razor to oper another
mans oysters. Keep your wit as buckler
to defend yourself, and not as sword to
wound others.
-"Jim, does your mothor ever whip you"
"No;" but she does precious sight worse,
though !" "What's that?" "Why she wash
es my face every morning"
- Cowes in his history of plants, notices
the virtue of hemp thus laconically: "By
this cordage ships are guided, bells are rung,
and rogues arc kept in awe"
AN Irishman who had been fined sever
al weeks in succession for getting drunk,
coolly proposed to the judge that he should
take him by the year at reduced rate.
If your lips would keep from slips, five
things observe with care-of whom you
speak, to whom you speak, and how, and
when, and where.
Under the head of "Broken English"
Paris paper places the Londouers who get
smashed up by railroad collisions or Gnan-
cially busted.
- At night, We cannot tell whether the ri
yer is shallow Or deep; so neither can We
Judge of silent or secret man. 10 know
him, we must have light, or be able to sound
him.
Mrs. Partington, says, if she should ev-
er be cast away, she would prefer meeting
with the catastrophe in the ebay of Bis
cults" 80 that she would have something to
live on.
- The following question is now before the
Hitchabobpackwack Debating Society
"Which has ruined the most men-giviug
credit or getting trusted ?" We should not
wonder if this led to considerable wrangle.
We await the decision with much interest.
BY constant temperance, habitua mod
crate exercise, unaffected modesty you will
avoid the fees of the lawyer, the claws of
the sheriff, and the poison of the doctor;
and probably add to your existence at least
ten years of active life.
"A Yankee proposes to build an estab-
lishment which he may drive sheep into
one end, and have it come out at the other
as four quarters of mutton, felt hat pair
of drawers, a leather apron, and a quarto die
tionary.
- "Who built the first house ?" asked an
ambitious school ma'am of bright little girl
on exhibition one day. 81 don't know,
ma a'am, but but guess Noah did" "Why
do you think SO, my dear?" Because he is
the first ARK.itect we read of.
A man from the country applied lately
to respectable lawyer for legal advice. Af-
ter detailing the circumstances of the case,
he asked if he had stated the facts exactly
as they happened eyes, sir" replied the
applicant, 81 have told you the plaietruth
you can put the lies to ityoursclf?'
At London, a few weeks since, man
was playing with a cat, when the animal Sci
zed one of his fingers with its teeth so tight.
ly, that he had great difficulty in shaking it
off, At night, he became unwel, and af-
terwards went into St. Bartholomews Hos;
pital, where the injured finger mortified, and
he died.
A German writer-one Kirsten-states
that, though America is popularity supposed
to be such marrying country, yet in no
land in the world are there really so many
old maids. This is owing, of course, to the
rapidly increasing expenses which marriage
entails, compared with what it did in by
gone days.
"A rather magnifcently proportioned H.
lustration of the credit system can be found
in the condition of the Richmond Enquirer
when, after fifty years of its publication, its
proprietor removed to Washington, his books
showed over 100000 due from living "pat-
rons." The amount of total loss was not Civ
en-, but was estimated at $500, 600 or more