Volcano weekly ledger., 1857-03-28

and if there is not time for words he will
keep his head nodding till you close He
has sometimes been heard to say that Ere
mont was his first choice, and in five minutes
afterwards declare he voted for Fillmore, or
worked for Buchanan. The 'possum seldom
marries till he finds some one who manages
the courtship and leads him to the altar
Owing to his desire to patronize all the
stores in town, he buys great deal that is
of no use to him, and usually ends his life by
being skinned for his fat.
This animals tail has long been cause of
wonder to the curious. But late discoveries
have proved that he uses it as a cork-screw
with which to draw his breath. Thus ac-
counting for the ease with which he comes to
life when he is supposed to be dead
Ladies, when any of the men swear they
are dying for love of you, don't believe it,;
they are only 'posSuming. Gentlemen, when
lady tells You she hates fattery, don't be-
lieve her, she is certainly 'possuming. Pass
on.
Here you have exhibited before you a
beautiful specimen of
THE POLE CAT.
This is one of the most beautiful of ami
mails, and is the creature of whom it was ORR
ginally said, distance lends enchantment to
the view" Why he should have been called
pole cat is more than | know; unless it be
that you should never come within a pole of
him. He is certainly not poll cat, as his
his head is not his main feature.
The pole cat is an animal peculiar to civili-
zation; never being found in savage state.
He may be known by the spots which are
merely the breakings out of his inordinate
meanness. He is the personifcation of the
comparison of the rotten mackerel by moon
light.
This animal is ever treated with marked
degree of consideration. The full road is
always given to him; none being too high
born to stand aside for his skunkship. This
he probably attributes to his good looks and
inherent virtues, never dreaming that it is
fear of pollution that gains for him this ap-
parent respect.
If the pole cats neighbor is up for Office,
doubts of his political integrity are sure to
be abroad that can easily be traced to the
skunk's den, as their starting point. Is a
young lady the subject of conversationY If
so, the pole cat throws out insinuatons as to
her virtue. He can tell you of every tenn
perance man who has violated his pledge, and
of every church member who should be turn
ed out lie delights in telling who his neigh
boris children resemble. Tell him you have
found Jews-harp and he will hint to the
next man he meets, that you have stolen an
OK yoke. When traducing his neighbors'
character, he only tells you what "they say"
mind you; he don't tell it on his own authori-
ty, but che could tell great deal, he could,
if he was only so disposei;" but he is "a be-
lever in the golden rule" he is, and "never
disturbs anybody as long as they let him
alone" You will frequently hear him say
that "Mr So-and-so needn't hold his head so
high; his father was only mechanic, and
stole buttons" or that "Mss What-do-you-
call-her, is mighty stuck up for one whose
mother was no better than she ought to be-"
In fact the pole cat throws his unbearable
pollution over all with whom he comes in
contact. One of them is sufficient to stink a
whole neighborhood. Kill him at sight
there is no safety in delay. Hold your nose
while you pass to the next animal.
THE "OLD GAL'sn SToRY-I was once Cap
tain of packet schooner plying between
Boston and Baltimore, and was blessed with
first mate of the "rale old Yankee knd.n
Going up the Chesapeake one dark and stor-
my night, the wind blowing steady gale, my
mate became little nervous, and not being
acquainted with the ground, supposed the
old girl was going it few knots too strong.
mp-tramp--tramp on deck. 1t was my
mate.
"Captain, hadn't we better shorten sail p
It's blowing like thunderl"
"No-keep her going"
A few minutes after, tramp-tramp-tramp
on deck.
Captain" said my mate again, "it fresh
ems, and already blows big guns Hadn't we
better shorten sai?"
Not a shorten" replied, confident in my
craft and knowledge of my whereabouts =
mot shorten, keep her to it."
"Well,' said the mate, closing the door of