Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1857-06-20
Humorous.

would be OF yellow fever with the quarantine
at Sandy Hook. Some years since, as we
learn by letter from Canadian friend, the
Receive General was travelling on steam
boat with considerable funds for the govern
ment and for the sake of safety and privacy
he engaged the whole of the ladies' cabin.
he passengers were all alive to ascertain the
reason OF this arrangement, and especially to
know what business the great man could have
on hand to require so much room and money.
At length one Of them, more bold than the
rest, venture6 to introduce the subject as the
Receiver was walking the deck, and approach
ing him asked if he was on government
! contract
"Yes!" was the gruff reply.
"A very large onef"
"Yes, very large"
May | ask what it is ?"
Eyes"
"Well, pray Sir, what is it ?"
"Why you see," said the Receiver General
with great seriousness, "the King of England
has made present to the King Of Siam Of his
half of Lake Ontario and ! am engaged to
bottle it of !"
No more questions were asked.
Woman, to little boy.-"Jimmy are your
folks all we'll ?"
Little boy.-"Wes, maam, oil but Sally
Ann"
Woman.-"Why what's the matter with
her?'
Little boy.-"O nothing partlclar only she
had the hoopin' cough once, and she haint
never got over it. The cough haint Of any
account now, but she has the hoop desper.
| 'te."
An Irishman was asked at DINNER whether
lie would take some Of the apple pie.
| 8 IT, lOuSOrna 2'' nsE ed ha lacking nj II
"To be sure it is; why do you ask that
question? ?'
"Bekase I once had an uncle that was
killed with apple-plexy, and, sure enough. |
thought it something of the same sort Of dish
A countryman walking along the street
OF New York found his progress stopped by
close barrcade Of wood
"What is this for ?" said ho to person in
the street.
80, that's to stop the yellow fever"
AYE, l have often heard Of the board of
health, but l never saw it before"
A dying Irishman was asked by his con-
iessor if he was ready to renounce the devil
and all his works. "Och, your honor" said
Pat, don't ask me that Pm going into a
strange country, and don't want to make
myself enemies -
a young lady once limited to gentlemen
tnat her thlmble was worn out and asked
what reward she merited for her industry
He sent her an answer in the shape of thm-
bic, on which the following lines were en-.
graved.
Il send thimble for fingers nimbe
Which l hope will fit when you try it;
1t will last you long, fits half as strong
AS the hint which you gave me to buy it."
Here.is m old epigram, in two lircs-or
rather, an eptaph-sharp enough to wake
up the wien, if she was not, very dead in.
deed.
Here lies my wife Polly, terrible shrew
If said / was sorry then should lie too
shrewd old gentleman once said to his
daughter, "Be sure, my dear, that you never
marry poor man but remember, the poorest
man in the world is the one that has mouey
and nothing else" There is much truth in this
and we commend it to the ladies'.
There is a woman living in Pulaski county,
Va, who has regularly presented her husband
with an heir during the month Of March of
each year, for lG years.-ErcAdngc.
March March how prolific Of squalls
thou art
What is the difference between a fisherman
and truant school boy? The one bats his
hook, and the other hates his book.
Why is a person approaching candle like
man getting of his horse2 Because he is
going to light.
The only way to cure boy Of staying ont
nights is to break his legs, or else get tho
calico he runs with to do the housework.
YouxG WrrE.-"O, I'm so glad you like
birds what kind do you most admire" ?"
Young llusband.-"Well ! think q good
turkey. with plenty Of dressing, is about as
nice as any.
4 woman in one Of the towns Of New
Hampshire who had been i'll used by herhus-
band on finding him asleep one day, quietly
sewed him up in the bed clothes, and then
gave him tremendous thrashing
PuzzlING.-A lady being asked by gen.
tleman to join in the bonds of matrmony with
him. WROTE the word STRIPES" stating at
the time that the letters making up the word
stripes, could be changed so as to make an
answer to his qestion, Who knows the an-
sWer.
What is the difference between a Pusoyite
and Baptist? One uses candles, and the
other dips.
Notwithstanding is recommended 10
young gentlemen who wish TO look sallow, un-
happy and unhealthy.
Il is IIlM Faded Beauty as with clock
the more the face is anameled the more clear
ly do We see the progress Of time.
IN Albany Editor thinks his property
would have been carried away by the late
food had it not been for the heavy mortga-
ges upon il.
4 Gentleman of the name of Marteu mar
ried q lady of the name of Martin, and it was
punningly said that be knocked her eye ID
out on the day OF her marriage.
Wien the Duke Of RutLIdnd was Viceroy
Of Ireland, Sir John Hamilton attended one
of his levees. This is timely rain" said the
Duke, "it will bring everything above ground"
Il hope not my lord" said Sir John, "for
have three wives there
4 Ioter, deficient in personal beauty said
to Sheridan -. mean to withdraw my coun-
tenance from Won" "Many thinks for tho