The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1857-03-04
THE DAILY DISPATCH.
Doesticss Determines to be Garoted.

1 I1L JAIL L DlSf A i CH.
Wednesday Morniux, N arch 4, 1857.
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Doesticss Determines - be Garoted.
Wonderfully popular has the fashionable amuse
ment of garoting become It seems to be one OF
the delightful recreations Of high life to BIZ choke ed
sad robbed-ihe hero victims of the garote are
as much iionized In polite circles ut present. as
Polish mobiles and Hungarian refugees once were.
lostead of stars, ribbons, and orders faces
and broken heads are now the rage in Fifth Ave.
nue. smashed nose is surer passport to social
distinction than the Order of the Garter and q
btaek eye is better capital for soiree aud party
free passes than dozen crosses Of the Legion Of
Honor. Garoing is exceedingly, useful. too In
matrimonial speculstiops A fast friend of mine,
young Daboots, owed old BooJack. the oil mer.
chant, $500. for money advanced 10 nav COLLAGE
expenses-young Deboot's guardian sent him The
dimes to settle the account. That evening young
Deboots sat down to friendly game of "poker'
with FEW friends, much faster than himself and
asser hve deals bis pile" wasn't worth Spanish
quarter Young Deboots cogitated and next
morning got up an artistic black eve with some
indla INK aDd a little gamboge put a couple of
strips OF court plaster on bis forehead and with
hl. arD In sling, presented himself to old Boot
JACK. he then told doieful story of having been
garoted, and he showed :he marks Bootisck bs.
lteved the yarn, and wrote a long letter to Young
Dehoots guardian for more money for that young
gentleman.
Bootiacks fine daughter saw young Deboots in
her faIher's ofice-pitied the interesting younp
man and asked papa to introduce him in three
days young DebcOts was invited to large party at
old Bootjacks, where he was the lion of the eve.
ming, and where be recounted bis adventure with
bis garoters more than twenty times with a,!di.
tions and variations; Matilda Jane was captivated
with the brave y ang man-the b ave young man
improved his opportunities, and four days ago
eloped y ith Me- tilda Jane, who has q hundred
thou sand in her own right from her grand au t.
Young Deboots recovered from his black eye the
6rst time be va bed his face he took his arm out
of the black handkerchief and pulled the court
plaster off his face the night he was married and
has been a we'll man ever since.
Pigford, my esteemed fiend and fellow bosrder
at Mrs, Snagleys, has bt en- gsrotsd-and it really
seems as If the robbers must have intimately
knosn his privata affairs, because the event oc-
CURED on the night of the very day that be re-
celTed remittance from Enoland to pay Mrs s
bis five months board-he appeared at the break
fast table next morning with a countenance 80
much damaged and was 80 cast down on Mrs S q
account, that she could not find 1t in her heart to
refuse him three months longer credit. until he
can get another zemi tance from England
jerks. another of our boarders. wsc garoted
twice In one "eek-it has bewiidering effect up.
on Jenks-i. makes him unsteady in the legs
and causes his breath to smell of rum pinch - nm
the first occasion of the robbing nd choking ou-
rage, he runP the area bell of the house on the
other side of The street, until policeman interfer.
cd and brought him home-then jerks inyeigled
the policeman into the house and delivered him
over TO me, with many formaliti.s assuring me
that he was gar'ter whom he had overpowered
and cap ure by main st. engtb, and he how ed the
star on the M. P.s breast as the place where the
invincibIe fist of jerks had 'smashe: bis Jaw
jehks was garoted again two days after, and
brought home by gentlemanly individual who
picked his pockets at the door, took his overcoat
changed hats with him, and then rang the bell for
the e'rl to come and let jerks into the house. The
girl came, and found this individual trying to
whhae off one Of the pickets of the iron fen e with
his penknife, aud meanwhile making a furious at
tempt to sing the word, of the evening hymn TO the
Virgin to the classic air of Root hog or die"
The mania has extended even to the kitchen
and the servants are following the example
OF their betters, and getting garoted every ia
Vorable opportunity-if the boy goes to the butch
eTs he is invariably, according to his own account
attacked by band of ruffians aud robbed of the
money before he gets home-this has happened
tonr successive days, in broad daylight and has
cost Mrs. Snagiy about four and si1pence a time
L sent Sally, the little errand GIRL with a dime for
some beer, and she returned in tears with the
news that she too had been "groted," aud had lost
the change. She had her fist full of lemon candy
and had two big sppies in her pocke et which SUP.
pose the robbers had given her.
sm positively frightened-tbings are truly In
dreadful state in my neighborhood-I dare not
travel on the sidewalk, aud have ruined nv best
pantaloons walking through the Rllsh In the mid.
N'S N
der every paving stone, or hiding behind every
lamppost. Daylight, sometimes shows me the
strange mistakes had made in the night l find
t. a. have been two biocks out Of nv way 10
AVOID a broken wheelbarrow which took for q
ruftaD; and have run half a mile to get
away from pump, which imagined was 3 fierce
garoter with club raised and have on Diae occa
sions crossed the street through knec.depp pud-
die, to escape molasses hogshead, which cup
posed to be refund robber, lying In wait for the
llDSCF1hGT q n
and accordingly armed myself for the attack |
got reyolV er, bowie knife dagger a sIupg shot
sword cane, a billy" policema club pair of
brass knuckles, and six good, large paving stones
which carried In a convenient place in my over
coat pocket there snt an inch of me that wasn't
guarded by something that would shoot strike or
sab. had, TO be sure, some little trouble in man
aging the entire armory-I fired away four boxes
of percussion caps practising how to draw and
IRE my revolver in the least space of time-thel
thought I'd load it. which l cid, putting SO
nuch powder into each barrel that l bad TO drive
.be ball IN at the end with tack hammer-than
Tied to fire it, aud not barrel ould 20 offthen
1t dinner ] accidentally dropped it, and it all went
'h AZ once lodging three of the balls in boiled han
On the table, while the rest brought up in 3 large
bowl CT mipcs meat in the kitchen, ard ere after
Hurds scovered in the pies by the boarders-then
sat down on my bowie-kuife, and cut my leg
1aH .tf-when / dropped my dagger ou: Of the
sheath and i, went through the top Of hlv boot and
stuck INTO my foot-ihree times have smashed
my toes with my sluBgshot; and have broken two
entire sets Of chamber crockery, four mirrors, and
aii my wirdowglass, practising with my club and
word cane.
MY pockets are fall of instruments of death
nat they are in the way OF my business-if want
NY memorandum book, out comes my revolver If
nave occasion for Dy portmo anaie find "b,lly"
u lib place; instead Of my penknife, l put my hand
IN siung shot; when am in a hurry for my latch
Key, can't hnd anything but pair Of brass
&IucKles; and have, on four different OCCASION.
attempted to pay my board with paving-stones
IMPLY because couldn't Fl ad any thing else in my
Jcket.
eut am fast becoming expsrt-I can draw and
ire my revolver in two MINUTES and a bs f. If the
OCH ooesn't cate h In the linins Of my pocket Il
an get brass knuchles ready for action Ia four min
ties can draw my b. vie knife q. quick as can
intuition my over coat to get at the handle; and 1
an strike another man with my sluns shot q, of en-
. hit myself, which is much more than l O. uld
10 at first Garoters, beware-Doesticks is pie
syed.
Coursg gsously,
Q. h. Phil NDEK DoEsrIcKs,
r. S-l've been thinking the matter oy or on ex-
mining my private accounts, L find owe money IN
ivers ana sundry places, IS follows:
atot.. 90
II II
,,oiIo"eo money. ............S............. go
dare not add is up-the total amount would
q TH FIIya