Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1857-04-16
"Scentin' Stuff"

A long, lean, gaunt Yankee entered
drug store and asked: ..-
"Be you the drugger?"
''Wen L 'spose SO, I sell drugs
"Wall our Sails gwine to be married,
and she gin me ninepence and told me
to invest the hull amount in scentin'
stuff, SOS to make her smell sweet, if I
could find some to suit, so if you've a
mind, I'll smell round" ..-.... .. -
The Yankee smclt round without be-
ing suited until the ''druggor'' got tired
Of him, and taking down bottle ol
hartshorn said, gaitl:
''I've got scentin' stuff here thatll
suit you. A single drop on banker
cher will stay for weeks, and you can't
wash it out, but to get the strength Of it
you must take a big smell"
''Is that so, mister? Wall, jest hold
on "a mint, till I git my breath, and
when 1 say meow, you put it to my
smellcr."
The hartshorn of course, knocked the
Yankee down, but he got up and after
rolling up his sleeves and doubling up
his fists, he said: .-...-
"You made me smell that tarnal cv-
erlastin stuff, mister, and now III make
you smell fire and brimstone,''
PoLITENEss AND TRUTu-Nany per-
sons plead love Of truth as an apology
for rough manners, as il, truth never
was gentle and kind, but always harsh,
morose, and forbidding Surely good
manners and good conscience are nc
more inconsistent with each other than
beauty and innocence, Which are stri-
kingly akin, and always look the better
for ompanionship. Roughncss ard
honesty are indeed sometimes found
together, in the same person, but he is
a poor judge of human nature who takes
ill-manners to be guarantee of probity
Of character; or suspect stranger to be
rascal, because he has the manners OF
gentleman. Some persons object tC
politeness, that its language is unmean,
ing and false But this is easily an,
swered. A lie is locked up in phrase
but must exist, if at all, in the mind OF
the speaker In the ordinary ccmpli
ments of civilized life, there is no intan
ton to deceive, and consequently NJ
f.lsehood. Polite language is plcasan
to the ear, and soothing to the hear
| Wille TOuSh "oEOS dIc dSt tilc kVfcISC
and if not the product Of i'll temper, are
very apt to produce it. The plainest 0
truths, let it be remembered, can b.
conveyed in civil speech, while the mos
malignant Of lies, may find uttcranee
and often do, in the language of the fsl
market. s.s .a
An ED1ToR's CLUB-'Tommy, m,
son, what are you going to do with tha
club?' .,. -. s.... ---
'.Send it to the editor, ofcourse.'
'But what are you going to send it t
the editor for?'' .....
s'Cause he says IF anybody will send hin
club he will send them a copy Of hi
paper III .-t 30 ~.
The mother came near fainting, but re
taincd conciousness to ask: "But, Tom
my, what do you think he wants with
, club?'
.Well, [ don't know" replied tn
hopeful urchin, "unless it is to knoc
down subscribers who won't pay for thci
: paper
An Irishman meeting countrymar
inquired his name: 49, .s+
"Walsh," said the gentleman.
, ''Walsh," responded Paddy, "are J
from Dublin? I knew two ould maid
there of that namo; was either of 'e1
: your mother?" .g.. 5r..-... .-
r EgA Frenchman having made por
folio into an umbrella, an American,
order that he might not be behind in il
n genuity, made a snuf-box in the shat
: of pistol, and by means of sligl
q spring, fred the snuff up his nose. "
c hove heard so but the reader need n