Delaware weekly Republican. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1841-188?, 1857-09-24

contemporary OF ours protests most earn
|. estly that he is always as good as his word
q NO doubt he is, but his word is good for moth
- ng. ''''"
an English paper, speaking Of very tall
ACTOR, says "By Joye, he is tall enough Ia
: act in two pieces"
r INGENUITY OF PARTISAN TH1ryps.Tha IN.
genulty OF Partisan thieves is well illustrated by
the following occurrence t. -
TWO weli-dressed persons stopped on Tines.
aay evening, between nine and ten O'Clock.
9eioFe tue shop OF grocer named Crotan, Rue
ae ~ Normandie, ut Bercy, and burst into very
loud laughter 'O 'ei'
! \ tell you that will do it, said ono.
| other. s''U '"o
sDone-1 take the bet.'
Both entered the shop.
'Do you sell treacle p said the first
Yes, gentlemen said the grocer.
Tive me two pounds of it,
lave you any vessel to put it in2
mo; but put it in here.
'Whatl your hatl'
.Pour it in, it's for wager
inc grocer took the hat, placed IL in the
scale, and, much amused at the idea. nopred
into o. It two pounds of treacle.
he throw down II five franc piece.
The grocer began to count out the change
when the man said e0'
Pardon me, sir, butyour treacle has queer
smel.' " fe'''
Sits very good, assure yor,'
'No, smell it.H ....
The grocerput down his head 10 the hat and
1T the same moment, the customer, by a rapid
movement, thrust the mans head into the hat.
ana as the grocer instinctively raised his head.
lne consumer knocked his hat ever his eyes.--
Fhe other man then plunged his hand into the
tlll, and seized handful of money, about thir-
~ frames. Both got clear Off before the nm
fortunate grocer could give the alarm.
The dozen worst jokes of this weeks paper
are as follows ;--
l. Which are the two smallest insects men
toned in the Scriptures The ''widow's mite''
and the sfwicked iiec.o
.. What is the shape of kiss Z Round l
suppose. Not Exactly; it is a lip-ticSle.
.. Pampernickle says woman's heart is the
most sweetest thing in tho world; in fact, a
perfect hoaeycomb, iull OF sells. Bee ware.
! .,l. Z: 51e SAYING 'sIhere is more pleasure in
chiefly to Kicks, medicine, and advice. fF''
| o. Why are good husbands like dough -
Women knead them, (atter having them in the
yfour.) 'D0
g.. Which is the oldest, Miss Ann Tiouity.
Old Aunty Dlluvian, Miss Ann Terror, Miss
Ann 4. Cedent?
I. edo you enjoy good health, Zachary1''-
| WY, ya2e, to be sure; who doesn't 7''
| 8. The most remarkable case on record ia
! that oi the Yankee soapman, who, in violent
storm at sea- saved himself from death by tax
ing a cake Of his own soap and pashang himself
ashore.
9. "Which, my dear young lady, do Won
think tho meiriost place In the wordi' oIhat
immediately above the atmosphere that sur-
rounds the earth, should think, because am
tod that there all bodies lose their gruyity.n
10. 1t is SAID that no tort ever snii.red so
much from n ginuls haft1a a.
from the battle Of Prague.
~. "My dear" said an affectionats spcuse
to her husband, sam your treasure 1'' .sJh
yesF' was the cool reply; fand wonId will
insly lay tup IN heaven" What an insulting
wretch
IL. Two young misses, discussing the ouau-
tles OF some young gentlemen, were overheard
thus: "Well, like Charley, but he is rather
glrlisl, he HASN'T got the least bit of a beard
81 say Charley has u beard, but he shayes IL
on ono he hasn't either, any more than
have" 81 say he has, too, and know il. for
Il Prickled my cAeeki"
The BAsnFUL LoYER.-Girls remember that
the man who bows, stniles and says so many
soft things to you, has no genuine love while
he who loyes you most sincerely struggles TO
hide the weakness of his heart and frequently
appears decidedly awkward.'
But evenyour bashful lover finds a way TO
make himself understood by and by, He
only, mentally framing many q powerful
speech; which is always too big for utterance
Just at tho moment the folks are all gone but
one the cowardly Josey But let pet scented,
and powdered top intrude his inflated nothing
ness between him and the object of his love,
and doesn't his pent up agony find utterance
We have speech Them
lit is as il some noble stream, turned to SER
vile use,
Hld bursted, through its sandy banks, and let
its fury loser.' ~
Look ont then for your bashful man; and
don't mock him in his desperation, you will
lind that 'still water runs deep,' young lady
ycs' or sno' instanteT; for lie is a man, and will
not be trided with. The fact is true merit is
always dilident, and the bashtul lover makes
the best husband. AS is his lOye-mssing, so
is his after life, he grows more earnest and
true as long as he lives. No danger of his
flirting with every pretty woman he meets, If
she will let him. N o danger of his spending
all his evenings out no danger of anything
Bless you girlsi if you can get q bashiul man
marry him no matter if he doesn't have cour-
age enough to 'pop the question in so many
words il he looks it, walk right up to him, put
your little hand in his, let your head fall upon
his shoulder, aud, you will never regret that
moment, never I
"You see how bald | am, and don't wear q
wig" GTrue sir" replied the servant, san
empty barn requires no thatch ="
The man who attempted to catch the speak
er's eye with Il steel-trap, was ordered to take
the floor by the Sergeant-at-arms.
THE FROG.
or all the funny things that live
In woodland, marsh, or bog,
That creep the ground, or fly the air,
The funniest is the frog;
The frog the scieutifcest
Of Natures handiworlS--
The Frog that neither walks nor runs,
But goes it with u jerk.
With pants and coat of bottle-green,
And yellow fancy vest,
lie plungeS into mud and mire--
An in his Sunday best;
When he sits down he's standing up,
As Paddy O'Quinn once said;
And. for convenience sake, he wears
Ills eyes on the top of his head.
You see him sitting OIL log,
Above the ''vasty Deep
You seem inclined to say, old chap,
"Just look before you leap"
You raise your cane to hit him on