Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1857-09-03
No. SO.
nY csUtLY To nY Rs,..r,y.s.

N"otIat To M RELATIVES.
bad an aunt coming 90 yisi, ma 70, Al.
hrst dmo since my marriage, and I dom,
know Shsi ey'l genius prompted the wicked
ness seSnOledge. With tear, in nv sys.
'aat u wa such } which I perpetratedt 40.
wards my uiie and my ancient relative
Ny dear said to my wife on ths d.x
before me aunt's arrival, 'you kaow Aur,
Mary - coming to msrrow well I forgot
70 mention rather annoying eircums,anes
Sith regard 10 her She's very deaf. and
a,thongh she can hear my voice, 10 which
she Is Aeeastsmsd, In its ordinary tones. yet
you siii be Obliged to speak extremely loua
In order to be heard Ii will DO rathsr in.
convenient, but | know you will do eye,y-
tGing III your power TO make her stAy akrsss.
Mrs announced her determination "a
make herself heard If possible
then vent to John Thomas, Who loves
JOKE As well rs Any person know Of, told
eim 70 be'At my house at q N, on tb,
happy
went to the railroad station with a e.r,i,s,
'ae next evening and, when | was on nv
way home with ny aunt, said, NV dear
Aoh'' there Is oue rather annoying inhrmitv
thst ameiia has, which forgot 20 mentie1
before shes very deaf ADD although she
can bear my voice, 70 which she il aecutom.
co, IN It's ordinary tones, yet you will 10
oonged 10 speak extremely load in order 10
be heard I'm serry for L.
Aunt Mary, IN the goodness Of her heart
protested that she rather liked speakiar
loud aud TO do so would give her srss.
pleasure
The carriage drove up-on the steps va.
~ "hs-At the window Was John T6omss.
with face As utterly solemn As # he hai
buried all bis relatives that afte-~eou
handed out my aunt-she aseended tho
steps. o
AN delighted to see you,' shrieksa nv
wiie, aud the PoGceman on the other eide of
Tie street started, aud my aunt fell nearly
down the steps
Mss me, my dear, bowted nv aun, ana
the ball lamp clAtteIed, aud the winaov.
shook as with the fever aud sghe / looked
AZ the Window--John had disappeared =
Human nature could stand it no longer I
Poksd nv head into the carriage, aud vent
into strong csnVulsious
When | catered the parlor, my wife WA
helping Aunt Mary TO take of her boouea
aud cape aud there sat John with his face
Of NO.
Suddenly, Did you have . pleasant jour
ney weat of my wifs like a pistol, aud
John Thomas Jumped 10 his feet.
'kashsr dusty vas the rsspsass, In . wur.
Whoop And - The oonversation eonIinus&.
TIE netghbors Tor streets around uasa
have heard 10; when vas in The third sssrv
Of the building, heard every word plAinly
In the course Of ths evening my aant ,ock
occasion TO say TO nc, How loud your wife
speaks Don't il hurt her
l told her ell deaf persona talked lsadlv !;
aud that my wife, being used 60 il. YES nst
Affected oy tue exsrtion, aud that Aunt Marv
was getting Sloug very nicely with hss
Presently my wife said, softly, 'AlE how
very loudly yeur auut talks ?
Yes, said !, all deaf persons do You're
getting along With her finely she hears
erSry word you say Aud l rather think
she dad
Elarsd by their success at being under.
siood' they went at It hammer aud tOngs,
all evorytaihg 90 the mantel- pieeso latlersG
again and was seriously aiiaid o crowd
collecting 10 front Of the house
But the end was near NV aunt h.inv
/ Of an lnvestigstIug turn Of mind, was dssir.
Gus ot h1iing out vh-tbsr ths exeTtion Of
taxing 30 loud was not Injurious 20 NY wife.
30, sAid she, IN an unearthiy boot, for her
voice vas nol a. musical as IL Eas when she
vas young, Doesn't taking so leud strain
your luags -
IL Is an eEertlon,' shrisked nv uif..
'Iaso shy do you q itl' vas the ARsweE-
iSR scream
Because - because you can't hear u I
dont, squealed my uifc
sat said my aunt, fairly riyaliog Q
railroad whistle ihis time
eesan 20 think Il tine 20 eyseusts tha
premisrs aad lookiag foaad and sssiaa
John gone, ! stepped into the back pstler
and there be lay asi on his back. eth HE
feet at right aEglt 10 bis bsdy. rsllinR frou.
side 70 side uifb his k.ts poksd Into bis Tihs.
Aad most agoDiEIpg expression of sOuats-
/ haueei bat Bot altering s,uud limBsdi.
1 aielT sad invalastarily assumed a simiiav
s'tliude. aui thiuk that ffom the relative
/ position u cor boots and heads sud our al
/ tempts 20 rostfsip our laughter apoplrxV
I must have sBsusd, Il = sosritls groas sktoh
/ J5hn gave vert % 10 his sndsAvor 90 rspfysa
h.' r's'bihiy bad bot betrayed oar hiaiaR.
I place
in rushed my uifs sod ray aaat vbs b
/ this tims eompTehsudea the ioks ssd snsk
seoliing a. ,bea got sever got before.
/ ahd bopc sever 10 get again
kaos n0t shat ths ed would havs
Been, u Joha, 10 bic oUdsaysrs " sspsss
/ respectful sud sympaihsiie had not aissa
Y vent 70 such diabolioal aeiss. .omstbisg ha
tseea gfsas ahd horse lsakh. that all
g'aviiy VS. uPseJ snd W screamed ia Coz
I osrs