Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1857-04-30

took me into bis smart new buggy to kerry me
TO the Falls. We had site of talk about the
COW and the dog and the turuips while we 49as
a@on, and by the time we'd driv up to the
court room, Jones had made up his mind that
he'd beatin Smith for sartin.
went INTO the great square room leetIe
frustrated, I'll own; for there was the Slightest
OF folks there, blue eyes, grey eyes, green ewes
black eyes, all fXt on Jones and | as we
marched up in front of the Judge
Good mornin' Squire" sez l. bowng to
little, old, dried-up nosed feller with a yaller
wig on g hope your honorable health is
good !"
Keep quiet Mrs Tripe" seq nabor Jones,
nudging my elbow, ''t amt proper to speak to
his honor, thout he asks We questions"
They took me to a little platform built up
on one side of the room, and sed | might sit
down if | was mind to-so down | sot NV
goodness what funny actions they did have
Ialkln' all sorts of langwdges that nobody on
earth could understand, all mixed up with
constitution" revised statutes, "civil laws"
and nobody knows what. | declare | actiIlv
thought, one SPELL that I'd been kerried
clean back ages and ages, to the time when
folks talked in Hebrew and whispered in Pad
dy. I've hcern Parscn ScrapeTeil tell about
it.
Bymeby, arter I'd begun to feelhungrv and
want my dinner a tall scraggy man, with green
specs on his nose, rz up and sez he
" Mrs. Hannah Trpe, stand up in your
seat"
Lord :" sez I, you don't wont me to climb
up in cheer afore all these folks, 90 ye?"
We want none of your low iests here"
sez he, coloring up till he looked like a red
4 fla niCrbt .Criu 4
o, yes sez |, I'd as lives get up as not
for my back begins to ache I've sot so long"
So histed up and looked round Oh the or
Raise your right hand" sez the tai! man.
soemnly.
If you've no obie tions,' sez I, 'I'd ra-
ther hist up my left one my right hand glove
has got starin big hole rite on the palm of
| it +"
Every body sot up great lalf at this, aud
the tall man turned into red night-gown
agin.
order order gentlemen !" scz pert little
fellow with a buckle on his hat and j big bile
on the end Of his red nose. You will ue com
mtted for contempt" sez he, speaking low to
| me.
Thank you sir, for tein me, seq I, ''but
your little mistook. | hain't got the con
tempt, nor never had it, that | know of, but
I've had the iniluenzy bad enuif, 50 bad"
Mr.. Attorney examine that woman with
despatch-the Court waits I" sez the Judge
tryin' hard to keep on his long face
Raise your right hand and Swear-'
q never swear-its wicked,' scz |, givin'
him look of disgust II, member of the
church, swear The good Lord forbid y
"Never mind my good woman" SAYS the
Judge, SAY YES to what the gentleman viii
rad to you from the book-it will be suff-
cient, amply So"
The tall man then took up a big book and
read out load ever 50 long a lot of gbbcri>h
| that | didn't understand then, and can't re-
member now, but it was to the fact that |
| should tell everything / lnowed and nothin
more, and swear it was al true
Dear sake !" sez !, ''if I've got to tell
everything | know, it'll take me a month or
! two, and should like to have some dinner
afore begin"
You're not to tell anything except the cir
cumstances connected with the turnip field of
my client" Sez the tall man, pulling away at
his whiskers.
don't know anything about yer client"
sez |. Il never seed it, to the best of my
noledge it vas Smiths COW that got in the
! turnip patch"
| Did you see the defendants cow make
forcibIe entrance into the plaintiffs enclosed
| field q sez he. Iookjn' as grand as the king of
Independent Tartary.
seed John Smiths jump into Sam
Jones turnp yard, if that's what you want to
get at ;" seZ l.
The same thing marin, the same thing,
only in different langwidge Where were you
/ H.. L. -, -.
In the yard, on my feet"
"What color was the animal that Won saw
vault over the fence Could you identify her
from all others of the species 2"
"She was a brnde--a thread of red hair
and one Of black, Sez l.
Describe her more fully" sez he.
She had a head two horns, two eyes,
one mouth, four legs and a tail" scz l.
"Did You see her with yonr own eyes de-
YOUR two turnips in plaintiffs field ?"
With my own eyes? TO be sure Whose
eyes did you think I'd borerred ?"
Could you swear it was turnips that You
saw her masticating."
a amt gwine to swear anything about it.
| She was eatin' sumthn white, but it might
/ have been white rocks, for anything that
| know"
Mrs Tripe, how old are you?'
None of your business !" sez | gettin out
and ont mad "Im old enough for you any
way, and you look as if you were manufac
tured in the year of one, and eddicatcd i'll the
ark ?"
The lawyer scratched his nose, and looked
like red flannel again, for all the folks in the
room laffcd enulf to split themselves
Go on with the examination" sez the
judge.
'Do you know my client personally Z" sez
the lawyer, pinting at Mr.. Jones with his long
raksh finger
q Shnnld thinl. / oroeht To . COZ | laflin -