Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1857-07-25
Girls VS.. Wives.

The Roricon (Wis.) Argus has the fol-
lowing truthful remarks in relation TO the
girls-we beg pardon, to ,he young ladies'
of this generations We suggest that there
are no girls now-a-days-they ale either
babies or young ladies progressing lmme-
dialeIy from the cradle into hooped skirts
with beau on each arm. With lhis D.
mendmcnt The Toledo Blade is prepared
to endorse the following and take The con-
sequences:
I'VE are sorry to see the girls of the
present day have such tendency TO utter
worthlessness growing more anxious TO
become more fashionable than good
more anxious 10 cultivate their heels !han
their hearts, and to encircle their legs
with Whaebone rather than The brow with
wreaths of love, kindness, and beauty.
As general thing, those who are hand
some think they are lovely. Far from it.
When we, Years agOne, took one TO be
Mrs. p, girls were girls. 1t was fun to
90 dozen miles aioot, with mud knee
deep, to see them, as you were sure 10
see, to find the clear girl-nalure instead
Of art. Bat now it is different. The
dentist supplies the teeth, Uncle Ned"
The cotton, some opticlan the eyes, and
skll.tui mechanic the legs and arms an
artist furnishes paint,a Yankee the hoops,
some French AIiiliner" gets up artificial
malerndi founls, and the very devil robs
himself to give them disposition to he,
taltle, gossip, make mischief, and kick up
all sorts Of bobbereys among people gen.
orally. VANITY of vanilles," saith the
preacher. We love the girls when they
act like girls, but this counterfeit article
being now paImcd of on fashionable So
ciely, is an inIolerable, unmitlgated hum
bug.
What fnn Adam must have had in the
garden before dat long-taIed gentleman
introduced himself to mother Eve and
what enjoyment our lorefalhers must have
had in the halcyon days Of their boyhood.
ere fashion plates and folly made their
appearance ! o, girls, if you DO not
you will never find
boys foolish enough TO pay five dollars a
week for your board and find clothing for
you to boot. They can't stand it.
Cur mother was girl once, but she
didn't lie about folks iili her tongue was
blistered she did not make ma wash .
the dishes till the grave gave her glad .
resting place in It's bosom she never
made her poor old father curse his maker,
as he ran from the sheriff week in and
week out she never made her silver
haired patriarch, already blossomed for
Inc tomb, stand during church. while she
sat beside ham looking al tie "hi1as,' nor
lid she wear a silk dress 10 the temple OF
God and have dirty petiicoais beneath
ler ample skirts neither did she receive
'avors and forget 10 say 'lhank you - al
easl but The girls nowadays 90. They
are neither Gl for wives, nor 60 they
know enough for mothers.
The man who made an impression on
he heart Of coqleLs has taken ouI d
'alenl for stone-culling.
What are the most unsocisble things 10
he world 7! Mile.siones--you never see
wo of Them together.
What animal has The greatest quantity
II brains The hog, Of course, Tor he
las a hogs head foil.
Why is pretty woman like fiddle
Because she is Of no use without bOW.
Why is peg in a new booi ike psne
Il conscience ! Bec-4-c Ii Is apt 10 plgIce
lac sole. !!