The south-western. [volume] (Shreveport, La.) 1852-1870, 1857-04-29


The tenderness of Spring is all MY eye,
And that is blightedi
The Pauldng Miss Clarion, after Stain!
that a person had been arrested IN that plac'
for stealing coat, says, 1t is well lot our CHI
zens to be on the look out against such depre
dations, for while we write, another case occur
to our mind A young man who has hereto
fore borne. good character for honesty, ant
whose name we shall not now mention, wa:
several weeks ago, to our certain knowledge
guilty of most fragrant act of downright steal
ing, which singularly enough has escaped the
attention of our vigilant officers. He wentntc
house in retired place in the country, some
miles below this, and stole parcel of clothes,
chiefly petticoats, belonging to fine young Ia
dy One circumstance, however, connected
with the transaction, might possibly shield him
from criminal prosecution-and that is, the
young lady herself happened at the time to be
in the petticoats. The young scamp, if be
does the like again, while she lives, he'll get
himself into trouble, certain.
What a glorious thing is Occupation for hui
man heart! Those who work hard seldom yield
themselves up to fancied Or real sorrow. When
grief sits down, folds its hands, and mournfully
feeds upon its own tears, weaving the dim sha-
dows, that little exertion might sweep away,
into funeral pail, the strong spirit is shorn
of its might and sorrow becomes our MASTER
When troubles flow upon you, dark and hea-
w, toll not with the waves-Wrestle not with
the torrent! Rather seek, by occupation, to di-
vert the dark waters that threaten to over
whelm you into a thousand channels, which
the duties of life always present. Before you
dream Of it, those waters will fertilize the pre-
sent, and give birth to fresh flowers that may
brighten the future-howers that will become
pure and holy, in the sunshine which pene-
trates to the path of duty, in spite of every OBJ
stacle Grief, after all, is but a selfish feeling;
and most selfish is the man who yields himself
to the indulgence of any passion which brings
no Joy to his fellow men.
In an Irish story in Bentley's Miscellany,
murdered schoolmaster is said to have been
found dead in the road, with his head full of
fractions.
"I'm thinking it's shoe aside" said Larry.
1.-THE horseshoe, was it?'
"No, alanna," said Larry, "shoe aside is
Latin for cutting your throat"
"But he didn't cut his throat" said the wi
dow
"Sure it's all one," said Larry, "whether he
on his head. It's shoe aside all the same"
t'But there was no hammer found
"No--but he might have hid the hammer
after he did it, to throw aside the disgrace of
the shoe aside
''But want there any life in him when he was
found?'
"Not taste. The GROWERS sot on him. and
be never said a word against it, and if he was
alive he would.
"And didn't they find any thing at all?"
"Nothing but the vardick."
'And was it that that kilt him?'
"No, my dear, twas the crack on the head;
but the vardick was, twas done, and somebody
done it, and they were blackguards, whoever
they were, and unknown"
WoMEN.-They are great mystery. Ac-
cording to Haller, women bear hunger longer
than men; according to P'utarch, they can re-
slst the effects of wine better; according to I'm
ger, they grow older and are never bald; &C
cording to Pliny they are seldom attacked by
lions (on the contrary they will run after lions;)
and according to Gunter, they can talk few!
good thing occurred the other evening
during the festivities Of the dinner to Mr. Lake:
."rhe army and our citizen sodery' had just
been toasted, and response made by dis
tnguished officer present, when gentleman
at the south end of the table rose, and said he
saw no reason for neglecting another honora-
BILE profession represented there, and by way
OF supplying the omission, he gave ''The Medi-
cal Professionalism a; destructive as the az
my or the navy!" 1t..-
This brought the house down, and distin-
gulshed member of the profession up, who
made very humorous and amusing response i
to this telling hit. [Vicksburg Wing. |
EDO you 60 to school. now Charley?"
Eyes, sir; had a fight to-day, toe" he re-
piled. -
"You had! which wbipped?'
ooh, got whipped" he replied with great
frankness.
''Was the other boy bigger than you?''
mo; he was litter.'' r
well, how came you to let little boy whip f
you?"
"Oh, you see he was madden nor was" l.
The other day, one of widow BIS admirers t
was complaining Of toothache. Mrs BIS very Il
smart boy Immediately spoke up: a
"Well, sir, why don't you do as ma does?
She takes her teeth out, and puts EN- back
when she wants EMP
smart box on the ear for smart boy from
''ma,' and exit admirer to parts unknown
In certain village lived very honest far
ner, who having number of men hoeing in K
the field, went to see how his work went on
Finding one of them sitting still, he reproved a.
him foridleness. The man answered Il thirst o.
or the spirits s'Grog you mean, suppose, a,
said the farmer, 'but if the bible teaches YOU az
% thirst after the spirit it says also, hoe every 81
one that thirsteth.'' ~ u,
4 gentleman observing servant girl, who in
vas eft-hanaed, placing the knives and forks Ie
IN the dinner table in the same awkward DO ly
'itlon, remarked to her that she was laying e e.
hem left-handed. "Oh, indade!' said she, al
so | have! Be pleased, sir, to help me turn &C
he table roundp'
They have got a pig in Ohio SO thoroughly /
ducated. that he has taken to music They III
egulate his time by twisting his tail-the great =
r the twist the higher the notes.
1t is harder to avoid censure than gain ap-
'ause; for this may be done by one great or &
rise action in an age; but, to escape censure q
man must pass his whole life without saying OF
r doing an i'll or foolish thing. p@
We never knew scolding person that was III
var akia IN froyarp f,n,.I- UL.t