Holmes County Republican. [volume] (Millersburg, Holmes County, Ohio) 1856-1865, 1857-07-23
NO. 49,.
Wit and HulnOr.

Oh, whistle daughter, whistle, and you
shall have cow, never whistled in my
life, and can't whistle now. Oh, whistle
daughter, whistle, and YOU shall have a
man; never whistled in my life, but I'll
whistle if can.
A man recently got married in Kentucky
one day and hung himself the next. No
doubt he wanted to try all varieties of
nooses to see which he liked best.
"Does not the tolling of that bell put
you in mind of your last end ?" said trav-
eler to his companion. "No but the rope
puts me in mind ofyours."
A far seeing teetotaller being asked
the meaning of syntax, wittily replied.
''The tax one has to pay for getting
drunk
SOUND OF SUNsET.-On the arrival of
an emigrant ship, some years ago, when
North Carolina lay off the Battery, an Irish
man, hearing the gun fired at sunset, in
quired of one of the sailors
"What's that?"
"Why, that's sunsetm was the eontempt-
uous reply.
"Sunset," exclaimed Paddy, with disten-
ded eyes, "Oh, Moses! and does the sun
go down in this country wild such clap as
that?'
A young gentleman the other day, ask
ed a young lady what she thought of the
married state in general.
GNof kpoUipo, 7 ooppaf fa1l - ryoa <bo
reply; "but if you and 1 would put our
heads together, I could soon give you a
definite answer"
In a dialogue which Dobbs had with
himself the other day, he came to the con-
clusion that the best way to succeed with
a woman is to admire her baby and speak
well of her bonnet.
slack did you carry that umbrella home
that l borrowed yesterday
"No father; you have often told me to
lay up something for rainay day, and as
I thought it would rain before long, 1 have
laid the umbrella up"
A darky set to work to cut down very
tough tree, but his ak flew back for some
time, with but very little eject. A storm
occurred meantime, and crashing shaft of
lightning shattered huge oak to splinters
near him. "Bress de Lordr' exclaimed
Sambo, dat well done. Pose you try
dis one nex-guess you get your match,
NASSAU
YOUNG WIFE.-Oh, Pm so glad you
like birds: what kind do you most admire:
YoUNG HUsBAND.-'Well, I think
good turkey, with plenty of dressing, is.
about as nice as any,
HooPs.-A lady in auburn was in her
garden the other day, when she suddenly
rsuhed into the house exclaiming that she
was attacked by snake, and tainted; when
it was found that one of her hoops had
given away and caused her fright.
The editor of newspaper at Perth be-
ing challenged, coolly replied that any fool
might give challenge, but that two fools
are needed to fight.
A down east editor advises bis readers
if they wish to get teeth inserted gratis, to
90 and steal fruit where his watch dog is
on guard.
Dentistry on new principle.
To find out the number of idle boys in
town, commence beating bassdrum.-
Er.
Yes, and to find out how many loafers
and idle men there are in town, get up a
dog fight.
A man named Aaron Bedbug, Mont
gomery county, Ky, is about to petition the
Legislature, to change his name. He says
that his sweetheart, Olivia, is unwilling he
should be called A. Bedbug, she, o. Bed
BUG, and the little ones Little Bedbugs.
A distinguished literary lady was lately
found in paroxysm tears over the suppos-
ed grave of Washington at Mt. Vernon,
but which turned out to be an ice house.