Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, Va. [W. Va.]) 1852-1859, 1857-01-08
Prom Soahs rims and Messenger.
.ETTER FROM A DISBANDED


VOLUNTEER.
There is a considerable amount Of caustic in
our old friends composition, and he applieSit
pretty freely this week. His mock metaphysics
are hard hit at the ''new legul fillosSify," as
set forth in the arguments against the criminal
ity Of crime, which are becoming fashionable in
our courts of law. The love ofright and justice
which underlies all the old mans badinage,
sticks out pretty plainly in his letter, although
We must say it IS tOlerably well masked under
an apparent acquiescence in certain neW-tangted
theories:
SAINT NIcEALAs HoFTEL, Jan. ., 1857.
EtidvtuTs Of the Sunday TiIReS:
The Skripter ses, .s0ld things shall pass away,
aud all things shall beeum new" aud reckin
the profFeSy is gettin fullfd in rayther an Onex-
peckted way. Formally, afore the days of free
Iecters, freeknowledgy, cummoOnism, spirityul
tellygraGtism anty- galluSism, aud hire-lOwisn,
it was spOsed that wilful murder was crime,
and that when the hummyside was ketched he
Oughter be hung. That was poplar deloOshin
of darker age. Accordin to the new mOrTil
and legui fillosSify, desire to send an inner
cent feller-crittur to his great account for the
sake of his small change, is 4 kinder intermet-
tent fever, and when the dit is on the unfOrtnit
payshint murder and robbery is the Onavoida-
bull kOnsekwence. The sick person who is sub
jock to setch attax is an O6jeck of cummiSera-
shin, and should be tenderly tretid. In coarse
the misabul invaleed isent to be punniSht for his
parTlNSlSul. FL eOONOOuuy u u olsAuAeH ~ ~
materially the vicktim, who Oughter hev seen
that the aSsasenntor was orwell, and KEEP outer
his way. The deceaSt person is to be Pitted,
no doubt; but as nuthin more ken be dun for
him, all our friendly attenShin should be TURNED
to the poor crittur who he'd the misfUrtin to wipe
him out
The symptims of the hummysidal maulidy is
so retnarkabul that they kennot be mistaken. y
pistl on full cock preSentid at your head, with
finger on the trigger, is wun Of en- SumtineS
the complaint appereS In the form OF jack
nife directed at yer innards; and at uthers, big
club pIayin the devils tattoo on yer kOkonCt is
the diagnostick. But whichever way the deSor-
der is MANIFESTED it ushilly ends tatilly. The
principal difference atween hummySidal fever
and luther NORTH maulidieS seems to be that al
tho it ends in deth, the payshint seldom suffers.
| blew the fizZishenS hev not pronounced thare
medicinal Opinyun wether the disease is contA-
jus; but it has carrid off such numerous num-
Der of people lately that SHOULD be rayter eau
shus myself in shalSin hands with hummyside
when in the midst of his attack, for fear of
ketchin it. PrehaPs it is in the air-like collary
and yaller fever; prchapS it is caused by the too
free use of adulterous lickers, and should be ac-
kounted rum disorder. larn from 4 distin-
gwished kemmical annalist that all alkyholical
| Foods lontanes poisunus lickwid called JusiE
lie, that ocSaShins ShootiU pains in the stunt
mick, and would tharfour be likely enuf to in
stigate any onsuspectin Christian to blow his
brutaer'S braneS out vile the aggerny was on
him.
Agreein with the doctors that prevenshin is
better than kure, would recEymend the board
If helth, witch, as our sanitary guardyin, should
look after all inSanitary kaseS, to be Oh the kee
ree1e. Let the perleece be instructed to kOn-
vey emmy persons hevin the ushil hummySidal
irrupshin, setch as si:: shooters, Arkansas tooth
picks, and slung shot, immediently to the New
York HorSpittle, or the Lvin-in Asylum, whar
they can hev good nursin and keerful watchers.
KaScs of this kind mes heretofore ben takin to
the ToOms-a barberouS purceedin, as the ac-
commydashuns i bad, and it is Oney rite that
the trials of setcil pityabul o2jecks should be
nittygnted as much us pOsSabuL
The new illOsSify, witch, in fulflment of the
skripterS, hes been interdoOced in murder kases,
extends to uther difficulties. Forgery and steel
in, fur instance. is sorter munnymana; and
the lore the affiickted individyul steels and
kounterfeits, the wus MS munnymania Is, and
the more ne rekwireS aid and cOmfurt
1t seems to he fixt facsI that tharS no Setch
thing as willful crime. The old fogy noshins oi
Coke and Blacstun, who furnished before soshil
progress got the steam on, and morril railrodes
was laid down for it to run on, is all busted up.
1t hes ben diskivered than oncontrOlla5ul
dispersishin to assassernate, rob, sNSindle, and
set fire to houses, belongs to the morril konsti-
tuShin of sum foxes, and bcin strickly konstitu-
shinal, il kant, in coarse, be kontrary to law.
The kOnsekwence is that when a prisner is
placed in the dock ne is sodium konvickted by
lis piers-a fetur in Jurisprudence which must
be gratifying to every friend of humanity.
The oney kwcstien that arises under this
novil and pilantropic sisten is. who's response
bull for all the slortering, robbery, cheeting in
sendyourisln, and cetery. Eff the perpetrators
is made 50, the folt kant be ti.are'n. 1 persoom
its gennlly understood that the same Power
made the new illossiferS, made thare Protejdys,
the huinmysideS and theevin munnymaniacs,
an3 this brings the sed ilIossifers inter collisl
en- with omnipotencc. In that aukard persish-
in lcve EN- for the present and subscribe my
self as ushil, Yours, alus,
A DIsBANDED VOLUNTEER.