M'arthur Democrat. (McArthur, Vinton County, Ohio) 1853-1865, 1857-07-30
5flistrlIanrous Artitlrs.
From Porter's Spirit Of the Times.l
JERRE COOFER'S KINGBlRD.

Brown balanced his books with Jerre
Cooper when he had got slightly into
Jerre's debt. This is how it was:
Jerre and Sam were two great cro-
nies, who had been to district school
together, played, quarreled, fshed,
drank, hunted, smoked, farmed, grown
up together, and married sisters.
They lived in a rocky, mountain
ous township in New Hampshire,
where they had to get up early in the
morniugin order to do days work
before the sun went down behind old
Croydon, which it did on an average
about four P. NJ. They were profc-
tents in the art Of practical jokes, as,
indeed, we're all their neighbors, and
eternally coming it over each other
and yice verSa They owned adjoin.
ing farms, and Sans meadow was so
situated that almost every morning,
for weeks, he would 90 by Jerre's
house, where, Of cOuse, he had to stop,
chat, and, perchance, take a drink.
So, one morning, Sam was on his
way to the meadow, and passing Jer-
res house, he leaned against the fence
and began to talk about the crops,
and "that 'tarnal throw of pickerel
son Kcziah caught out to Rider Pond" !"
when his attention was arrested by O
prompt little kingbird, sitting on a
fence, busily hammering a hard-shell
beetle against a post, to crack him SO
as to get at the luxurious inside.
"Now, | say" says Sam, "why in
tarnation, Jerre, don't you kill that
ere kingbird; he'll eat every cusscd
bee you've got, just like he's eatin' that
'ere beetle there!"
"Oh, pshaw!" says Jero, "that
'ud be derned mean; the little feller's
got a nest e'en a most in the wood.
pile, and, sides that, he kills a site Of
bugs round the house"
"Now, do, Jerre, just get your gun
and let me shoot him; l hate to see
him scooting round here, eatin' all
your bees, and you a takin' his part
So"
"You shan't dew it, Sam, so just
shet your jaw; it's no use a talkin';"
and Sam, thereupon, shouldered bis
fork and trudged of down to the mead
ow.
This conversation, slightly varied,
occurred several mornings, Sam be-
coming each day more pressing in his
opportunities to shoot the bird, until
one day he got SO urgent that Jerre
became somewhat wrathy; so when
Sam went down the road over the hill,
Jerre leaned on his fail and solilo-
quized as follows:
"Now, if that ERE BOBBY of a Sam
Brown wants to shoot that kingbird,
dang my buttons efhe don't havea dern-
ed good chance to.morrer. There'll be
no peace atween him and | till he gets
the etarril subject out of his mind
So | kinder guess he may shoot some
to.morrer mornin'."
Having thus expressed himself, Jer-
re leaned his fail up against the barn
door, and deliberately strobe toward
the house, whistling with emphasis
"The Road TO Boston" On arriving
at the kitchen, he took down the old
"Queen's arm," that had done good
service in the French war, besides
having taken an active part under
Stark, in the battle Of Bennington,
from the hooks over the broad and
spacious fire place, where it had hung
undisturbed ever since Jerre shot the
hen hawk that was after his chickens;
and having blown through with gust
like a norther, to see if it was clear,
(an unnecessary operation, by the
way, for thotouch,hold was nearly as
large as the muzzle,) proceeded to fill
it about half.full Of equal proportions
Of blasting powder and BBB shot,
Then, having rammed down the
charge energetically for about ter
minutes, he picked the flint, filled the
pan, placed it behind the door in the
entry, retreated to the barn and swung
his fail determinedly for the space o
half an hour, with a grave sort OF
grin on his visage, the grain hopping
up at every whack of the swingle, anc
the straw and dust bounding anc
floating in the air, when, raising hi
head and looking down the road, bC
was mighty tickled to see Sam com
ing back again as if he had forgotten
something, and was going home atel
it. Up he came to the fence, and hil
first salutation was:
"Ther's that etarnal kingbird again
swow."
"Gor.ram i'll" sung out Jerre, &C.
won't STAN it any long; ct you mus
shute that ere kingbird, do it and b.
darned to yer"
"Whar your gun, thenl"
"It's in behind the front door, al
loaded, and | hope you'll be satisti
ed"
Sam made for the house, got the