Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1857-08-05
MISCELL A N Y
Nothing to Wear.

7
Nothing to Wear.
AN EPISODE OF CITY LIFE.
Our readers will enjoy not only rich trea
but substantial repast in the dish OF poetry W.
serve them this week. 1t is seldom that 81
much good sense is clothed in such comical at
tire. Although the poem is ostensibly satir'
on the extravaganza Of ''upper-tendom," 1t is
capital hit also at all extravagantly foolish imlta
tions of the Misses McEimsey in all ranks of life
And it will do for all latitudes and longitudes
It'was written for Harpers' Weekly, by Wm. A
Butler, Esq, and has been published in nea
little book, price 90 cents. We advise all mer
who have wives, or expect to have, to get {
COPY of the book. And we advise all the wo
men who have husbands, or expect to have, tc
put their heads together and give us as good an
article on the fashions and foies of men. 1t i:
prolific theme.-Lite Illustrated.
Miss Flora McFlimsey, of Madison Square,
| Has made three separate journeys to Paris,
And her father assures me, each time she wa;
= there,
| That she and her friend Mrs. Harris
(Not the lady whose name is so famous in histo
ry
But plain Mrs. II. without romance or mystery,
Spent six consecutive weeks without stopping,
In one continuous round of shopping;
Shopping alone and shopping together,
At all hours of day, and in all sorts of weather
For all manner OF things that woman can put
On the crown of her head or the sole of her foot
Or wrap round her shoulders, or tit round her
waist,
Or that can be sewed on, or pinned on, or laced,
Or tied on with string, or stitched on with a
bow,
In front or behind, above or below,
For bonnets, mantllas, capes, collars and shawls
Dresses for breakfasts, and dinners, and balls;
Dresses to sit in, and stand in, and walk in;
Dresses to dance in, and tiirt III, and talk in;
Dresses in which to do nothing at all;
Dresses for winter, spring, summer and fall;
All of them different in color and pattern,
Silk, muslin, and lace, Grape, velvet and satin,
Brocade. and broadcloth, and other material,
Quite as expensive and much more ethereal;
In short for all things that could ever be thought
Of
Or milliner, modiste, or tradesrnan be bought Of
From ten-thousand francs robes to twenty-sous
.. frills;
In all quarters of Paris, and to every store,
While McFlmsey in vain stormed, scolded and
swore,
They footed the streets, and he footed the bills
The last trip, their goods shipped by the steam
er Arago,
Formed, McFlimsey declares, the bulk of her
cargo,
Not to mention quantity kept from the rest,
Sufficient to fill the largest-sized chest,
Which did not appear on the ships manifest,
But for which the ladies themselves manifested
Such particular interest, that they invested
rbo,, n
OF musins, embroideres, worked under-clothes,
Gloves handkerchiefs, scarfs, and such trifles as
those;
Then wrapped in great shawls, like Circasslan
beauties,
Gave good-by to the ship, and go-by to the du-
ties
Her relations, at home all marveled no doubt,
Miss Flora had grown so enormously stout
For an actr,al belle and possible bride;
But the miracle ceased when she turned inside
out,
And the truth came to light and the dry goods
besj de;
Which, in spite of Collector and the Custom
house sentry,
Had entf red the port without any entry.
Aud yet, though scarce three months have pass
ed since the day,
The merchandise went, on twelve carts, up
Broadway
-lhis same Miss McFlimsey, of Madison Square,
The last time we met, was in utter despair,
Because she had nothing whatever to wear!
NOTHING TO WEAR Now, as this is true
ditty.
do not assert-this, you know, is between
4
Like Powers Greek Slave, or the Medeci We
nus;
But do mean to say, l have heard her de-
clare,
When, at the same moment she had on a
dress
Which cost five hundred dollars, and not cent
less,
And jewelry worth ten times more | should
guess,
That she had. not thing in this wide world to
weot.
should mention just here, that out of Miss Flo
ra's
Two hundred and fifty or sixty adorers,
| had Just been selected as he who should throw
all
The rest in the shade, by the gracious bestowai
Ou NY seii, aiter l"eutS VT Uliity iSJeN.ioii',
OF those fossil remains which she called "her al
iections,"
And that rather decayed, but well-known work
Of art,
Which Miss Flora persisted in styling ''her
heart"
So we were engaged. Our troth had been plight
ed,
Not by moonbeam, or starbeam, by fountain OF
grove,
But in front parlor, most brilliantly lighted,
Beneath the gas-fxtures we whispered our love,