Orleans independent standard. [volume] (Irasburgh, Vt.) 1856-1871, 1857-10-09
11ortital Selections.
From the y. Y. Mercury.
A BROAD GRIN.

We venture SAY that there has not appeared /
in print since the day that George Coleman the
Younger completed his " Broad Grins,' an ef-
fusion of bumor and sarcasm superior TO the fol-
lowing. from The pen Of our most able, esilmaoe'
and accomplished correspondent, Barney.
ABEAUTIFUL LEGEND.
BY BARNEY.
Mr.. Patrick O'Rourkc. from the city Of Cork, .
Was an Iri,hm1u. stately and tall, /
As ever played rub, alta bachelors club /
Or danced, at a bachelors bali.
His eyes they were bright as the star. In the
night,
When Phubus has gone torcposc;
And they wiuked from his face, with comieol
grace
At the tip ofb. jolly red nose.
Ills "illicaut' shape spite ofucedles and tape
Exhibited ran'iuess rare.
And the ladies exclaimed, with blush-hali
ashamed,
He'd be handsome, with NOTHING TO WEAR
Buthis garments alas, Ike q window Of glass,
Wera =aaIs transparent 20 view;
And ogmcaus 20 repair, be hl1 little to spare.
Becaus, be had NoruING To- no"
Full msrva chap. under Kindred mi,hap,
Has sought the advice ola friend;
But Pa; knew full vel, that his friends would
rereL
man aLo lad NOTHING TO SPEND.
Overcome by his woe-aui a tojdy orso,
lie chose a most desperate course,
Aud married q maid, although sadly afraid,
ufbubias. scratched face aud divorce.
..' lis better quoth he, in amomcut Of glee,
q, u marry fortune, thiuk,
Than to i've in the street, and have NOTHING To
With plenty ur NOTHING To puNH."
Now IbIu.h as tell, of thing that betol,
A Paddy was going TO bed,
On the uightof;Ae day, wbers as the chronicles
Him.elrand hi, Bridget were wed.
The beautiful bride, soft confusion to hide,
Her garments commeu~el 10 uuhook,
And she shook to excess, while describing hel
dress,
With 81 whisper, Paze, Payhrick dom, look"
Like beast in his stall, Paddy turned to til,
wall,
And listened with painful surprise,
To rustline and aru.h, like the sound ola busl
Bya hurricane borne to the skies.
An hour sped away, with its kindred to play,
But still the strange hustle weuton,
.Tiu Paddy grew boIlor, and pcered DER hi
shoulder,
Tomark il hi, peuaucc was done.
We GoI,, whats sight by the glance orthe light
Was diuiy exposed to his gaze,
And made him cry out, with terrible shout,
"Be ja5ers I'm all ia a maze."
Standing here, hanging there, on couch, owe
chair,
Like huts in an Indian town.
We're the hinge nameIess things, which fair ia1
swings,
Beneath the broad foll- ola gown.
a hundred there stood, Of the criuoIiue brood,
In towering and strong barricade;
While full set Of teeth and wig placed beneat
We're OIL the per table displayed.
And nurber'ess bags, full Of cotton and rags,
We're scattered about on the floor,
10 shape and crest, 10 the matronly breast,
4 shocking resemblance they bore.
The husband looked or, bat hi, Bridget was gol
Dissolved into separate parts,
Aud nought could give life, TO his fragments
wife,
But o. ma, err Of womau'y arts.
lie looked for while, with horrible smile,
At the fabrics below and abrye
And niiled at the fashion, in hitenus passion,
That left hu with NOTHING To LOVE.
"Tm sorry" said Pat, witha .wirl orhis hat,
But I'm safe, fyr ,he rouslcs, Of weather,
And ss The sly elrG1 apart Of herself
t'll oe hanged 10 I put her to-ether!'
Then he took the loose clothes, ere he went
repo,e,
And placed them in crnolue bags,
Resolved on tile n ouow, vixen freed from
SORROW,
To sch TO them for metal and rags.
My story is finished, the hero hath vanished,
And spectre. glide of in piay,
Aud If with the moral my reader should quar-
Why ! hNve-NulUING TosAYl