Smyrna times., 1857-04-15
Straps--0a atittp

as the Everg ladies' of fFOrida, has recently fnnnd
an outlet through which it is discharpino itself
INTO the Gulfof Mexico. This will leave manv
millions OF acres dry land capable of cultiva.
tlan' 1t is said to be exactly the land best adj
aPted to the growth of the sugar cane.
| 01-"Fellow Sinners sa id preacher. "Jf vou
were told that by going TO the top of those stairs
Wonder (polntng to a rickety pair at one end of
the church) yeu mi ght secure your eternal sol.
VatIon, really believe hardly any of yon would
try. But let any man proclaim that there were
one hundred dollars up there for you, and IN
be bound there would be such u getting up
stairs as you never did see.
Vr Boxer, the liquor merchant. whose Morv
Ann recently married Dean, The conchmsn
once upon time when he wasn't unite so rich
us he is now, invented an aromatic command
called BItters," slight quantity of which is
DeNeVed ny many 10 add TO the value of gin
cocktail, so called These bllters, we no,ice
are having quite run in the various cities.
VI" What are you about my dear! said his
grandmother to a little boy who was sliding
along rte room, and casting fugitive glances nt
gentleman who was paying visit. {" Iamtrv.
ing grandma, to steal papa's hat out of the room
without letting the gentleman see ii, for papa
wants him TO think he's out"
o." Ned, who is that girl saw you walk
ing with!''
3" NJ iss Hogg" -.
"Hogg' ,Hogg; well she's to be pitied tor
having such name" '~., ~.
SO think" rejoincd Ned. 81 pitied her
so much that offered her mine, and she is 20.
ing to take it presently.
CT The attention of beautiful little r;,,
being called TO rose bush on whose topmost
stem the eldest rose was fading, but below and
around which three beautiful CRIMSON buds were
just unfolding their charms, she artessy ex.
claimed to her brother: :" See Willie, these m.
tie buds have Just awakened TO kiss their mo.
ther before she dies - -
UF" What's the matter, Uncle Jerry ~
SAID Mr.. AS old Jeremiah K was PASSING
by, growing most ferociously.
Matter" said the old man 1" T. We been lug-
GIN water all the mornn' for DIR. C's wife fo
wash wlth' and what dye s'pose got for it!"
"About ninepence" a..
"Nlnepence! She told me the doctor woulJ
pull tooth ior me sometime. :"
Vt Once on time, rich dresses. luxurv
extraVagant fashions elegant furniture and
costly buildings were considered sibfnl SIGNS of
PRIDE Now on the contrary, all these things
are deemed necessary accOmpaniments of viz
'ue' HouoT and reSpec liability.
011-" Charley" said father to his son. while
they were working at saw mill .'what non:>
sense IN you TO associate with such girls ais vmI
do! When | was of your age could 20 with
the first cut" - ! .tg
"The first cut" said the son, as he assisted
the old man in rolling over log, is always
slab"
!. V2-" Conscience !" said Mr.. Hopkins in.
ilgnantly, "do you suppose that nobody ba.
got any conscience but yourself! NV con-
science IS as good as yours; aye, and better.
Loo; Tor 1t has never been used in the Course of
my life, whilst yours must be nearly worn outn'
CET- There is much sound philosophv in tho
oliowlng brief extract from an editorial in the
New York Tribune:
" Lite is short; and that portion oft which
me human being devotes TO injurng, punishingt
lnd destroy ylng another, We are inclined 10 tbink
will pay but poor dividend on the final settle-
nent of differences
U6T Swift beautifully exemplihcd the dis."
nctlons between pride and vanity: the vain
mans being is the opinion of others the proud,
nan cares not button what others think uf
nun. Swift thus dlscrlminates. am too pr,nd
% be Vain.' .. .
CSr A shrewd little fellow, who had inst be.o
gan to read Latin, astonished his master by the
ollowlng treatment " VIr, man gin, a tran.
Virgin, man trap
Of" Honesty is the best policy" said ops
Scotchman to another, who had NARROWLY o..
;aped hanging, for robbery. ~ know il, said
he other, for have tried both sides of the
question"
OT The term air line, when applied to raiL.l
of ind
inc, drawn without any deviation, from one
,oint to another. ... -
OF" Sam, why don't you talk TO your mas
"a, and tell UNI to lay up treasure in heayen!'
What's de use Of his-laying up his treasure
lar, whar heinever seem um again ~ seisaE
An APPRoPRIATE, SImILE-The, merchant
Who does not advertise Literally in the news
apers has been very appropriately compared
o man who has a lantern, but who is too
tingy TO buy candle. .s . -sia@-A"sH9
o. Tamouche, a war chief of the Utah Tn.
ians, put two native physicians to- death. be-
auso they failed 10 cure two Of his wives. who
led nnder their care. He sent them, in, his
atientS. ~.A' =" t'"R'"t1
l~1'' The following question is, before the
Debating Society = ais il wrong
Cueat ld"yeT! IL is expected that the
nswer will be: {" No, but-impossible."
o. A Chinese boy, who is learning Enefsb.
anne across the passa ge in his Testament I'VE
ave piped unto you, and ye have not danced,',
nd rendered it thus: . We bayes too.s toet,,
you what's the matter ate yop. no jump .+
677A young gentleman" in Albany named,
,Q9nrnMers, was fined s., Thursday. for splitting
obacco juice on lody's' rich silk dress
'erved him right. d2'lW s"o'laLiFa.a7'12I saf
"" You have only yourself to please" said
married friend to an old bachelor" Aft h'.'fl
80 Frue,lf replied be, +"but you cannot tells
'hat difficult task find id .s,za xsai s1saN
0S7- Potatoes, of the, new crop, were on The
ahles at sOhariesions s, C., on lFriday.ia co
aaan vs{a9u'F fp avaDa