Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1853-1862, 1857-05-29
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THE RETORT CoURTEOUs.-Chesterfeld was at a
rOut in France where Volare was one Of the guests
Cheterfeldseem gazing about the brilliant circle
Of ladies. VOltaire aceosted him: 90 My Lord, I
know you judge: which are the most beautiful,
the English or the French ladies'" "UPOn my
word, replied Chesterfield, with his usual presence
of mind 81 am no judge of paintings" Some time
afterwards Voltaire being in London, happened to
be at nobleman's party with Chesterfield lady in
the company, prodigOusly roUged, dher whole
discourse to Votaire, and engrossed his whole con-
versation. Chesterfield came up, tapped him on the
shoulder and said: "Sir, take care that you are not
captivated." "My Lord" replied the French wit,
81 scorn to be taken by an English craft under
French eOlors"
A PUNEING JUDGE-The other day, in the County
Court, in case which had dragged its slow length
along the advocate (Alr. Paine) belaboring the
responsibility Of his clients, who we're dairymen,
and mentioned in confederation Of his statement
that they had between 700 and 800 cows The learn
ed judge, Mr. BullOck,l whose patience was nearly
worn out leaning to the chief clerk, observed,
4 don't know how these people treat their cows, but
they are sadly goadiHg BuJlsck"
- What would the women Of fashion nowadays
do if the same law were in force in regard to low
neCked dresses as was on the statute books Of Penn
sylvana years agone? The law referred to- reads
thus "That if any white female of ten years or up
ward, should appear in any public street. lane high
way church, court house, tavern, ball room, theater
any other place of public resort, Jgith naked
shoulders, H. e, low necked dresses) being able to
purchase necessary clothing forfeit and pay fine
not less than one, than tl0o hundred doIJars
This was a mark of the wisdom of the men who
framed the laws Of Pennsylvania.
A widow lady down in Bradford Vermont,
heard a robber descending her chimney few nights
ago He stuck fast about half way, whereupon the
old lady promptly heaped straw in the fireplace and
lighted it. The robber, half suffOcated, rOared
Justify until he was drawn up by ropes, and handed
over to the mercies of the law.
- Two weavers, working in one shop in the vii
lage of Houston, were cOnversing one day on au-
thorship, when one of them observed that the
Fms great aUtOr; he had seen that writer's
name attached to great many books. "YOu must
be stupid bloekhead," replied the other, ''that
man named FtHis is the printer"
- A writer in ''Blaokwood" says that every man
who is not a monster, mathematician, or mad
philosopher, is the slave Of some woman or other.
- Sidney Smith was once examining some flowers
in a garden, when beautiful girl who was one of
the party exclaimed, ooh, Mr.. Smith, this pea will
never come to perfection /" 'Permit me, then"
said Sidney gently taking her hand, and walking
towards the plant, 'tO lead perfection to the pea
When Foote was at Salt Hill he dined at the Cas-
tie; and when Partridge pronounced the bill, which
was rather exorbitant Foote asked his name. "Par-
fridge an it please you" replied he partridge"
replied FOote, cit should be Woodcock, by the length
Of your bilL'
"A French writer isrepresented as calling dispep-
STA ''the remOrse Of a guilty stomach"
An old joke revived is going the rounds of the
papers, that there is letter in the post office at
UniontoWn, Belmont county, o., directed to the big
ges fool i'm The county. The origin or re-orign of
the story was at New Orleans some years ago A
letter reached the New Orleans post Office, directed
''To the bggestfool in New Orleans. F" The postmas-
ter absent, and his return one of the younger
clerks in the Office informed him Ofthe receipt Ofth
letter
''And what became of it," inquired the P NJ. |
''Why, replied the clerk, q did not know who
he biggest fool in New Orleans was, and opened
he letter myself ....-..
{" And what did you find in it Pr inquired the
P. NJ
Why" responded the clerk, nothing but the
words, '.'tt0U art the man pa
Bs5~ ColOnelM NJ, of the cavalry was complain
ng that from the Ignorance andin attention Of his Off
ers he was obliged to do the whole duty of the reg
ment. Il am, said he, ''my own captain, my own
lieutenant my own cornet-" s'And trunpeter |
said lady present.