Republican vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1857, 1857-01-17
HUMOROUS PARAGRAPHS.

An Irishman who had commenced build
ing a wall around his lot of rather uncom-
mon dimensions, viz: four feet high and six
feet thich, was asked for his object, by
friend
ITO save repairs, my honey don't yot,
see that if it ever falls down, twill be high
or that it is now
Mother, should not be surprised if our
Susan got choked some day.
Why, my sonp
Because her beau twisted his arm around
her neck the other night, and If she had not
kissed him he would have stranglod her
besides, mother, he sits by her, and wlis-
pers to her aud hugs her.
why, Edward Susan does not suffer
this, does she 2
Suffer that-golly she loyesit.
An Irishman called at printing Office
with an advertisements, and Ike prudent
man, inquired what it would cost lie was
informed that for one insertion the price
would be So; subsequent insertions - ofs.
each. An faith said he, i Il only have
two subsequent insertions
They tell a story about Yaakae taller
Cumming man for the amount et liz bill
The man said he was sorry. very sorry IN
deed, that he couldn't paF IT.
Well said the tailor, j took YOU fer 4
man that would be sorry, bnt if gauare sof-
ricr than | am I'll quit.
Rev. Mr.. suithson, Ga travelling West
cru preacher) described The departure Of
saint thus:
When / arrove at the house Of my de-
ceased friend, he was perspiring his last
stood by his bedside, end SAID, as he WAS
too far gone to talk, Brother, if you feel
happy now, jist squeeze NY haad.' and he
squoze it.
Little Boy Ma, what Is hush 2
Mother Why, my dear, what makes
you ask 2
Little Boy.-.Bee9gse / asked sister sa-
rah YESTERDAY, shat made haf new dress
stick out 50, a4d she sara hush :
a western editor thus delivers himself:
1--WE would say to the individual who stole
our shirt off the pole, while re were lying
in bed waiting for it to dzy, that we sin.
ccrely hope the collar may cut his throat"
A fascinating sight it is to see a young
lady walking as though flea was bitinss
her on each hip. She is almost match for
the dandy who steps like an opon-wingcd
turkey travelling over bed Of hot ashes.
The lengthoning of the evening is said to
be favorable to courtship. Several young
ladies have complained of sore lips, thought
to be occasionod by sitting up late at night
Little acts of kindness, gentle words,
loving smiles-they strew the path Of life
with flowers they make the sunshine bright
er and the green earth greener : and he
who babe us Glove one another" looks with
favor upon the gentle and kind-hearted, and
he pronounced the meek blessed.
The only class of men in the world who
are not in the habit of disparaging their
aeighbors, are the assessors oftaXes !; for it
is well known they never underrate any
body in the slightest degree.
The old provorb of eighty come, lightly
CO." does not apply TO the govt, rhcuma-
tism, itch or counterfeit money AL these
things come lightly enough, but how to get
them to 60 is matter of no small difficulty
Caesar" said negro to colored friend
Of his, (Which do you tinl is de NOSE use
full of de comets--de sun OF de moon p
''Well, Glen, | don't tink [ should be
able to answer dat question, scein' as how,
| neber had much book larnin, "
"Well Caesar, specli de moon orte to
take de fust rank III dat paet.eula.
"Why so, niger {"
because dc moon Shines in De uieh6
when we need de light. and de sun shines
in de day time when de light am do 10 con-
sequences.
well, Glen. you is de most larnad dar-
key cher seed, l guess you used to sweep
out a school house fox libin' .
A conference preacher ore DAY went into
the house Of Wesleyan relo,7aor, as4 saw
suspended on tie walls the portraits q Jhe
.lasee expelled ministers.
What said he, you have tLoia tbers
Oh, yes, they are thefe. w@s the Ass
answer.
But one is wanted to complete tbe s4i
Pray. who is thatY
Why, the devil, to be sure
All said the reformer, he : eet 80 ~
PEELED from the Confereaee. - R4}-f.
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