The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1857-11-25
p O E T II Y.
MONSIEUR TONsoN.

p O T. T II Y.
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MONSIEUR ToNs0N.
THERE lived, as Fame reports, in days Of yors,
At least some fhy years ago, or more,
A pleasant wight on town, y'clept Tom King;
fellow that was clever At a joke,
Expert in all the arts to teaze and smoke;
In short, for strokes of humor, quite the thing.
To many jovial club this King was Known,
With whom his active wit unrivalei shcne:
Choice spirit, grave frcomason, buck and blood,
Would crowd his stories and BON Mors to hear,
And none disappointment e'cr could fear,
His humor flowed in such a copious food.
To him fro!ic was high delight
frolic he would hunt for day and night,
Careless how prudence On tho spot might frown.
II cer pleasant mischief sprang to view,
At once o'cr hedge and ditch away he few, ..
Nor left tho game till he had run it down.
One night, our hero, rambling with friend,
Near famed st. Giles's chanced his coursc to bend,
Just by tha. spot, THE sEvEN DIAL's height,
Twas silence oil around, and clear the coast,
The watch, as usual, DOING on his post,
And scarce lamp display'd twinkling light.
Around this place, there lived the numerous clans
OF honest, ploddins, foreign artisans,
Known, at that time by name Of REYvoass;
The rod Of persecution from their home ..
Compelled the inodensive race to roam,
And here they lighted, Ike . swarm Of bees.
Well! our friends were sauntcrng through the street,
In hopes some food for humor soon to meet,
When, in window near, . light they view;
Ard, through dim and melancholy ray,
It seemed the prologue to some merry play,
So tow'rd, the gloomy dome our hero drew.
Straight at the door he gave thund'nng knock
(The time We may suppose near two o'clock;
ON ak" says King, sif Thomson lodges here"
"Thomson 70 cries t'other, "wbo the devils hei"
II know not" King replies shut want to zee
What kind Of animal will now appear"
After some time, little Frenchman came:
One hand display'd rush-light's trembling flame,
The other held a thing they call'd culotte;
An old striped woollen night-cap graced hi. head,
A tattrrcd waiscoat DER one shoulder spread,
Scarce half awake, he hcavcd yawn;ng note.
Though thus unt;mely reused, he courteous smiled,
And soon ADDRESSED our wag in accents mild,
Bending his head politely to his knee:
"Pray, sare, vat want you, dat you come 20 lAtsi
I beg your pardon, fare, to make you vait;
Pray tell me, sare, vat your commands vid me p
"sir," replied King, ~ merely thought to know,
As by your house I chanchcd tonight to 60
But, really, I've disturb'd your sleep, fear
Isay, thought, that you perhaps could tell,
Among the folks that in this quarter dwell,
II there's a Mr.. Thomson lodges herel"
The shivcrng Frenchman, tho not pleased to 6nd
The business of this unimportant kind,
Too simple to suspect twas meant in jesr,
Shrugged out q sigh that thus his rest was broke,
Then with unaltercd courtcsy, he spoke:
''No, sare +; no Monsieur Touson lodges here"
Our wag begg'd pardon, and toward home he sped,
While the poor Frenchman crswld again to bed
But King resolved not thus to drop the jest:
So the next night, with more of whim than grace,
Again he made visit to the place,
To break once more the poor old Frenciman's rest
lie knocked; but waited longer than before;
No footstep secnl'd approaching to the door,
Our Frcnchmau lay in such = sleep profound;
King with the knocSer thunder'd then again,
Firm on his post determined to remain
And OF, indeed, he made the door reeound.
At last King hears him DER the passage CREEP,
Wond'ring what fcnd again disturb'd his sleep:
The wag salutes him with civil leer:
Thus drawing out, to heighten the surprise,
(While the poor Frenchman rubb'd his heavy sye.)
''Is tlere-a Mr.. Thomson-lodgos hcre,''
The Frenchman faltcr'd with kind of flight
w sare, I'm sure told you, sare, last night
(And here he laborcd with sigh sinccrs)
"No Monsieur Tonson in de varld know,
No Monsicur Tonson here-I told you so;
Indeed, sare, dare no Monsieur Ton.on here!"
Some more excuses tender'd, oa King goes,
And the old Frenchman sought once moro rspose.
The rogue next nigh. pursued his old career
Twas long indeed before the man came nigh,
And then he utterd, in piteous cry, ....
"sare, pom my soul, NO Monsieur Tonson hersl'
Our sportive wight his usual visit paid,
And the next night came forth rrattling maid,
Whose tongue indeed than any jack went faster
Anxious she strove his errand to inquire
He said twas vain her pretty tongue to tire,
lie should not stir till he had seen her master.
The damsel then began in doleful state
The Frenclman's broken slumbers to relate,
And bcgg'd he'd call at proper time Of day.
King told her she must fetch her master down,
chaise was ready, he was leaving town,
But first had much Of deep concern to say.
Thus urged, she went tho snoring man to call,
Aud long indeed was she obliged to bawl,
Ere she could raise the torpid lump Of clay.
At last he wakes-he ri.es-and he swears;
But scarcely had he totter'd d down the stairs,
When King attacked him in his usual way
The Frenchman now perceived twas all In vain
To his tomentor mildly to complain,
And straight in rage began his crest to resr.
'Sarc, vat dc devil make you treat me so,
sarc, inform you, sare, tree nights ago
Got tam-I swear, no Monsieur Tonson hers!'
True q the night, King went, and heard strife
Between the hatassd Frcuchman and his wife,
Which should descend to chase the 1end away;
At length, to join their forces they agree,
And straight iupetuously they turn the key,
Prepared With mutual fury for the fray.
Our hero. with the Grmnsss Of . rock;
Collected to receive tie mighty shock,
Utt'ring the old inquiry, calmly stood:
The name Of Thompson raised The storm 20 high,
lie dccm'd 1t then the afe,t plan to Gy,
With, swell, Ill call when you're in gsutlcr mood.
In short, our hero with the fame intent,
Full many night to plague tho Frenchman went
So fond Of mischief was the wicked Wit;
They threw out water, for the watch they cell,
But King expecting, still escapes from all
Monsieur .. last was forced his house to quit.
II happen'd that our wag about this time,
On some fair prospec. sought the eastern cline;
Six ins'ring years were there his tedious lot;
At length, content, amid bis ripcning store,
Hc threads again on Br,tain's happy shore,
And his long absence l. at once forgot.
To London with impatient hone he 6i.ss