Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1857-04-02
WESTERN ANNOYANCES.

Judge -, who had recently returned
from tour in the West, relates an anec-
dote illustrating the horrors to which trav-
alers in that region are exposed. In his
Ip,ssage on one Of the rivers he fell in COM
|p,ny with talkative lady and gentleman,
te whom he was relating some of his suffer-
irgs from mosquitoes
Husband" said the lady to gentleman
owning that title, 'syou had better tell the
gntleman about the man we met in Iowa. :"
1The hint was sufficient, and the ''hus-
band" proceeded to say that, in their tray
eli further West, they made the acquain-
talce of stalwart, rollicking Western
H'osier, one of the genus who could ''whip
hi, weight in wildcats;'' but who possessed
a nnd of quite humor. One occasion, they
ha stopped at hotel in the interior, not
of the most inviting appearance. They
wre shown to their rooms, the Hoosier at
o1s end and the lady at the other of long
i nal. About midnight the drowsy couple
IRE startled by a report of firearms, pro-
stssG itsr>the hall occupied BY their ira
vefng companion. Both started up in bed
antbegan to speculate upon the probable
caus Of this untimely alarm, when they
head rushing Of feet and confusion of
voies in the hall. On going to the door.
the Gentleman found the whole household,
rushing in the direction of the report. His
curiosity led him to join this midnight pro-
cessiol, and he arrived, with the rest, in
front If the Hoosier's door. The landlord
tried tie latch, but found it fast, whereup-
on, ina loud voice, he demanded instant
admission.
''What do you want" roared a voice
within?
'Want to come in, replied the landlord.
Cant do it" was the response from
within. "Its my room, and I'm in bed
cant come in"
@Let me in," shouted the landlord, in a
louder tone, at the same time shaking the
door violently, cor I'll break the door
down %
sHold on" rejoined the voice within,
t'Tn open the door,"
! The door was soon opened, when in rush.
ed the whole party, expecting to see the
floor covered with blood What was their
surprise to find everything in its proper
place, and the Hoosier calm and unconcern.
ed. A revolver was carelessly lying on the
bed
"Who fired the pistol p demanded the
landlord
81 did," was the reply.
"Why ?" asked the landlord.
The Hoosier, stepped to the bed and
throwing open the covering, said:
"Look here. Do you see that %
The attention of the party was at once di
rected to the point indicated, and there
over the whole surface of the sheet, bedbug!
were scampering in every direction, like {
flock of sheep frightened by dog.
"These," began the Hoosier, straighten
ing himself up to his full height, ano
gestculating with his right hand in gran
diloquent style, ''these are my friends!-
I have settled an armistice with them, anc
we are on friendly terms, but on the window
sill there, just outside, you will find two
internal big fellows that couldn't do any
thing with, and so [ just put bullet thro
'em. But it's all right now, it's all under
stood between me and my friends here, anc
we shall get along well enough now"
It is needless to add, that the Landlord
retired to his own bed visibly crestfallen
while the spectators enjoyed hearty laugh
DR.. Durbin, the great Methodist orator
once attempted to preach from the text
Remember Lots wife, and made a failure
Afterwards remarking to DR.. Bond that h,
did not know the reason of his failure, tn,
venerable doctor replied that che had bette
thereafter let other peoples wives alone"
Scolding is the pepper of matrimony, AM
the ladies are the pepper-bozes. So says a,
old fogy bachelor.