The weekly Ottumwa courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1857-1872, 1857-11-19


Brown Black, will entitle the donor 10 what is
dencminated the Pririlegium Ecclssia. This
| confers the exclusive right of coming into
| church any time afier the services have com
menced, and of leaving previous to the begin
nlng OF the bencdiction. A private door, most
curionsly constructed, opens out of number
| of the highest priced pews into beautiful fur
n'shed apartment, from whence easy egress is
bad through the main entrance. By this
means persons of nice and refined tastes NAV
avoid the crowd and dust occasioned by large
congregation retiring from place of wor-
SNIP, and be enabled TO reach their Irrespective
places OF abode" several minutes sooner than
they possibly could in the ordinary way. The
prirlesium ecc'esiae will also include permis
sion to retire through the private door, on the
possible contingency of some strange clerry-
man preaching sharp doctrines. 1t is well
known that nothing is more uncomfortable
than to sit sill and have your darling and be-
setting sins ercoriated by gentleman in a
black silk gown, to whom you have no chance
to say mitigating word. More especially is
This the case when you have not the slightest
intention to abandon the little harmless pee
cadlloes about which the minister, in his
theological enthusiasm, is making such a
splutter.
It's matter of common observation that
many individuals Of delicate or enfeebled con-
stitution, who are in the habit of attending
church, find it difficult to keen awake during
the entire continuance of the services. In
regard to these, our worthy Doctor has long
advocated theory as philosophical as 1t is
comfortable. He is Of the opinion that short
nap is far preferable to a continued drowsi-
ness, ard that a person in a semi-dormant
state, engaged in an unequal combat with
Morpheus and striving TO keep awake, is one
of the most ludicrous and pitable spectacles
in the world. The allowed indulgence of a
few minutes sleep, therefore, the Doctor thinks
admissible and advisable, because it enlivens
ard refreshes the powers of the mind, and
sharpens the religious sensblities to such a
degree that the sermon is afterwards all the
better appreciated. sru.. o..
In Difference to this infrnity of our sing
gish nature, and acting on the benevolent sug-
gestion of DR.. Gooiasthebest. the trustees
have produced the great desderatum The
movable antique chairs have been furnished
with beautifully cussioned pads, or more prop
erly, in modern phrase, s'church somnolents. -
These somnoepts, perfect luxury for sleepy
heads, are ingeniously contrived to slide up-
wards from the back of each chair TO any re-
qnired height; and the mere sight of them
even to wakeful man, is enough TO invite
tim to repose and dreamy contemplation.
Although soft as tie downy breast of the
swan, the sompolent is in Il e shape concave,
so that the sleeper need be under no appre-
hension that his head will bob about from
side to side during his nap, as would be the
case Were the somnolent entirely fiat The
trmtees have zoo high sense of the proprie-
ties which pertain to a Christian church ever
t" leave road open for that grotesque and un-
sermly Journey, vulgarlv termed ''going to the
land of Nod y and hence the concavity of the
somnolerts.
There will be no prayer meetings or Sunday
schools connected with the church of St.
Demas and It. Dives, and during the three
summer months, Commencing of course in
1852 Sunday morning service will be the
only service of the week. These arrange
ments have been thought expeIient from sew
eral considerations:
] First. The children of the congregation
being under the instruction of numerous French
music and dancing masters during the week,
with view to point of premature proficien-
cy; it follows obviously enough that they
need the leisure hours Of Sunday for suitable
recreation. Confinement in the close air of a
Sunday school room, after six days tension of
mind and body, would be as positive physic-
al detriment to the children, as il would un-
necessarily consume the sacred Sabbath hours
Of those who would be required to teach
them. a .r ,..ra
Second. In regard TO evening prayer-meet-
inss. The trustees hold to the grand Scrip
tural principle that there is time for all things.
Sunday, for instance, is the appropriate and
Heaven appointed time for going to church,
They are quite willing, therefore. that the
highly fashionable congregation of St. Demas
and st Dives should give attendance on week
udy tNtHiiSs az .lue ulettTe ana various Otiler
places Of public amusement with which onr
metropolis abounds. For these. and for tse
many entertainments given a. the saloons and
drawing-rooms of wealth and fashion, it will
be found that every evening of the secular
week will be imperatively needed. rs
In shcrt, whether the above carefully devis-
ed plans are considered as meeting the great
moral and spiritual demands of the nineteenth
century, or as forming, when perfected, the
most comfortable ecclesiastical organization
the world has known, the trustees feel assul
ed that they viii ultimately be acknowledge
as constituting the true and only Royal Road
to Heaven. All of which is most respectfully
submitted. THEopoRE FREEANpEAsy,
Pres't Board of Trustee, of the Church of st.
Demas and st. Dives.
P.S.-It will be impossible to admi: strang-
ers inside the church Of 81. Demas and ST.
Dives, unless they can fully satisfy the sexton
Mr.. Brown Black, that they came from the
most elevated circles of Society," Banner ol
Peace. .....
"Maaam," said conGuctor day or tive
since, 'your boy can't pass a; half fare, he's
too large" SHE may be large no,c," repliet
ha hr, haI ,.a;J o. bot = az.