Orleans independent standard. [volume] (Irasburgh, Vt.) 1856-1871, 1857-03-20

f'f "NS9S AN0utht0i Hotc seemed 10
goad me to madness. They would drive
II away, but it soon returned and sang 10
: me IN its melancholy strain that livelong
day. And now must think how must
stare the evil in the face. l must look
beyond the grave to which would soon
De taken. L do not remember that I had
one hope of being saved from nv living
death. There seemed to be such fixed
immovableness about my body that
could not realize motion, and | half be-
lieved myself dead. The recollection Of
my mothers agonized cry of 9 Oh, had
he but been child of Godl" filed me
with horror, and the idea Of an entrance
INTO the eternal world without prepara-
ton came over me with all its dreadful
reality. My whole life passed in review
before me. Alas, what scene of black
rebellion In vain did I search for one
act with which l might hope to appease
the great God. They alone fed from
me, and ! seemed forced to view nv sins
which now, for the first time, struck me
with their enormity. / hated myself
1t seemed JUSTIN God to punish me thus
severely. All his kind, watchful care
came to my view in new light. Why
had / never seen it before and now too
late How could hope for pardon for a
lifetime of sin! Oh no; must despair
II could not merit Heaven-I could
never do anything to show my love and
gratitude; and then, in connection with
these thoughts, came my mothers teach
'tings, my prayer hsped at her knee, and
repeated sour Father" with a sort of
Itremulous earnestness / had never known
before. But still / despaired. Iseemed
the blacklist thing alive, and / then un-
derstood how devils would acknowledge
the justice of God in their condemnation.
As these ard a multitude of other
thoughts passed through my mind,
heard the door opened, and my mother
stood beside me. / heard her subdued
moan of agony again the soft hand
smoothed my brow, and she said y
My boy my poor Williel can it be?
I Oh. NV God than aIar4.--..-.--4- ..---c--.
me under this most grievous chastise-
ment. Oh, let me not murmur; let me
but see the end to be worked out. Oh,
if he had but given me but one word to
show that he rested in a Savior, trusted
in him, / could have given him up at thy
call without one selfish feeling; but now
oh, no hopel no hope! my child my
childP and shrieking forth her anguish,
they tore her from me.
Dear mother, when did you ever come
near me without imparting comfort p
Even now she spoke of a Savior, upon
whom | might rest, in whom / might
trust even sinful as I was, and PRAYED
earnestly to be led in the right path. !
had never before prayed from my heart,
but now it seemed wrung out.
Again I was interrupted by the open
ing Of the door, and felt my length and
my breadth measured, with the remark,
in strange voice, that he was "stout
corpse" to be sure. What could ha'
. been the matter with the poor gentleman
to ha' took him off so suddint?" ending
with the inquiry as to who the properly
would go to now.
To the young lady, / specs" said
: James she is jest like old masters
daughter"
t 81 suppose" said the stranger, " they
a wants satin lining, silver plate-every.
5 thing done up in the fust style n
; Never mind expense" said james
S " everything must be done in the very
d most genteelest style"
Imagine, if you can, dear reader, nhai
my feelings must have been at hearing
e myself discussed in this way. The men
: ton Of the young lady" brought Lily
o before me. She alone had stood aloo
: from the body Of her old friend she dis
} not care enough for her former playmat,
: to induce her to look upon him one
Q again. / pictured her to myself as th,
y fond wife-I thought of her husband re
: joieing in my death, because by it Lhy
q would come to him richly endowe,
E bride. These thoughts brought fresI
Is grief, and tried to Danish them. Iknes
: that bad given TO her the idolatry o
q my heart, which ought to have been giy
J en- to my God.
Through that long day many came t
. look upon me. My poor father spen
!; many hours beside me, moaning over tIl
l death of bis brightest hopes. At last
: felt 1t grow darker-I knew that the su
q was going down! / must pass anotbe