The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1857-10-24
rsr the Advertiser.
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BY n. Q! WALLACE
| aides and gents, invite your attention.
n''e rev tacts and tancies to you mention.
And would that my head with rich maxns was st ored
That great treat Of knowledge my speech might afford
But you all know better than this to expect,
Therefore on my subject IN enter direct.
Mankind as they are, you have often been told,
Are striving for influence, silver and gold;
In this beautiful West, it is needless to say,
fhat man will not live without gouging his way;
But our minds may revert we pass round the nation
10 see that each one has his own avocation,
Six days ous of seven they labor and tou
Some work at mechanics and some at the soil;
Some, too, all their wishes are Office Of State
And nothing but politics runs in their pates,
fhey III make US long speeches to bnfold our eyes,
And he succeeds best who tells the mos, lies.
Now while viewing extremes of mankind,
Let's look all about US to see what we and.
There's some who will swell," and faln show the man,
but you iahom their brains and they know
Every thing that's worth notice they II pass with dab
And he Is the smartess who has the CAB;
Some try to raise whiskers, and often begin
As soon as there's three spears Of beard their chin,
| And the only comparison of the right tinge,
They look like picked goslngsiust ready to singe;
But there's some, without doubt, who will raise quite
pair,
And their face much resembles the jaws Of . bear;
But the only objection there's to them Of note,
| 1t brings q disgrace the innocen. goat.
F.. Thus every one sees, who will take observation,
That tn eres all sorts Of people to fill up creation
Then, TO exercise equal both body and brain,
They appear like problem in reason quite plain.
| To ladies' OF fashion, It's merely to say,
As the subject comes next, and words too in play,
They themselves nice, and their garments right,
" hsa like true lover they hug them up tight
/ OF fashions past you have often heard said,
They up their sleeves with whole feather bed
But ladies' then later became more refined,
! And then all their stuhng put on behind;
/ But still they look n.ce-indeei they look grand
Though as large as a roller for rolling down land.
| But this you would notice without taking pains,
That the larger the hustle the lack of brains
! The trade Of the cooper comes next in our view,
With no -sheads Of 's!asses'' all wearing the Shoe
| In popular favor, We think it would seem,
I The opinion Of others, with great self esteem
! Yet We re glad to fashion its boundaries Ak
| Each lady needs only two acres in six
| Then being equal to sexes, It's true,
! That gent can jump over nor lady jump through
i But HOOPS are the fashion, SO HOOPS let it be,
! II they crowd ali the opposite into the sea-
And now at old maids would just take glance,
For there's some who wed, Oor they can't get a
chanccsl
| Their faces look too sorry to cry,
They remind Of pepper-pods, wrinkied and dry.
Some dump round all day, and won't even smile,
They re mad because leap year don't come all the while;
Sometimes they will chat most exceedingly pretty,
To make you believe they re wise, and quite witty;
II gent with lady they happen to meet,
They re filled with jealousy, envy and hate,
And, without hesitation, they sum their amount
Conclusive decision is-''they re Of no account
But we hope that some their distress will relieve,
And speak good word, that their hearts may revive
Old bachelors stand here and there by the score
BY hundreds by thousands, and don't know but more,
Some whining, swapping, some ready to swear,
Por the heart Of some lady they cannot ensnaTe
Now IL at creation you'll Just take peep,
You'll find that they're nousht but great hock o'
sheep,
All running and crosdng to pick gu; the best,
And he ia the better who bunts all the rest.