davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1857-09-17
Almost a Fight.
OR A TALE OF A HORSE.

The New York Spirit of the Times tells
of good Joke that came off the other after
noon, on one of the Brooklyn ferry boats.
A better one does not often occur in this fun
benighted country.
A gentleman who evidently had DINED.
drove on the boat, and forgetting the 'festina
lenie' rule of ferries, nearly drove over
very irate looking individual, who if one
might might Judge from lhe acerbity of his
counlenance, HAD NOT; the latter seeing the
vision of horses head appear over his
shoulder, wheeled suddenly and caught the
beast by the bride, looking horse whips at
the incumbent of the carriage.
what the deuce DO you mean by catch
ing hold of my horsep and the driver.
sAnd what the deuce do you mean by
almost driving over mep replied The holder,
in the true Yankee spirit of answering one
question by asking another.
Let 60 the hOrse!'
! / will NOT
The Griver dismounted, advanced toward
the other, whip in hand, and shorten ing his
hold upon the handle, sung out in stem
torian voice-'l tell you, sir, let 60 tina
horsep
I'll be darDed if do.'
Il You won'tp
II mo-
.Wen, theu,' replied the driver, throwing
his whip in the vehicle, and planting hi
hands comfortably in his pockets, well, then
, lust held him, will youl' so saying with
, polite bow and quizzical grin, vanished int
the cabin.
, The crowd of passengers who had bee
a standing SPECTATORS OF THE FIGHT roare
aloud, not quite as gently, however, as
ri ssucKrse DOVE and the conteI ding party
n dropping the reins as if hey were unpleas
r antly warm, marched off for the other en-
of the boat, his whose appearance bearin
o striking resemblance TO that of a man dt
g tected in the act of purloining his neigt
r boris mutton.
Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1857-09-17
AnecdOte of Mrs. Burns.

Il is generally known that Mrs. Burns,
after her husbands death, occupied exactly
the same house in Dumfries which she in
hubiied before that event; and it was GUS
tomary for strangers who happened to pass
through or visit that town to pay their res
poets to her, with or without letters of In
t-otuction, precisely as they do to the
churchyard. the bridge, the harbor, or any
other public object of curiosity about the
place. A gsv young Englishman one day
visited Mrs. Burns. and after he hcd seen
all she had to show-Ihe bedroom in which
the poet died. his original portrait by
Nasmyth, his family Bible, with the names
and birthdays of himself, his wife and chill
dren, written on blank. leaf by his own
hand, and some other little trifles of the
same hnture-he proceeded to entreat that
she would have the kindness TO present him
with some relic of the poet, which he might
carry away with him, as a'wondnr, 20 show
in his own country. "Indeed, SIR" said
Mrs. Burns, 81 have. given away so many
relics of Mr. Burns that, to tell the truth, I
have not ore LETT" "Oh, you surely must
have something" said the perseveriRg Say
on; "anything will do-any' little scrap of
his hundwriting-the least thing you please.
All | want as Just relic Of the poet; and
anything. you know, will do for relic.n-
Some further alteration took place-the
lady re-asserting that she had no relic to
give, and he ss repeatedly renewing his re-
quest. At length fairly tired out with the
mans opportunities, Mrs. Burns said to him,
with a smile, Deed, " sir, unless you take
myself, then, dinna see how you are to get
what you want; for, really, I'm the only
relict o. hin that ken o." The petitioner
at once withdrew his request.
Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1857-09-17

DIFFERENT KINDS OF kIssEs.-Thc
philosophy of kissing is thus expounded BY
the fair editress Of .he New York Ladies'
Repository, who has doubtless sampled" al
the varieties of the article:
Kisses, like faces of philosophy vary
Some are as hot as coal of fire, some sweet
as honey, some mild as milk, some as taste.
less as long drawn Soda Stolen kisses are
said to have more nutmeg and cream tEan
any other sort. As to proposed kisses they
are not liked"
Give me kisses, darlint. Let thin be
laid with power on my lips--wid a report
Ike heavens thunder whips, or the explo-
shin av the evein' gun--och, let me have
thin that way, livery wun.
Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1857-09-17
Lord Brougham and Mrs. Davis.

One day, when an important cause was
coming on, parcel of papers had been sent
from Mr.. G-'s office to Lord Brough
am, but one was forgotten. and Mr.. G.,
hastily recollecting it, bade me run with it
instantly and deliver it vey car efuily.
went, and was shown into a room,where
saw person whom took to be clerk.
| gave. the packet into his hand, and told him
10 be sure to give it to his master.
He nodded his head, and said quietly
81 dare say sholl.'
% was provoked at his taking it SO easy,
and said to him.
"You sulky old fellow. III tell your mas
ter. Look at the paper. 1t is of great con-
sequence, Mr.. G-says, and you must
look at it," would not rest until he did so,
and then went away.
Mr.. G told me afterwards that it
wPs Lord Brougham himself who was so
pleased with my faithfulness about the pa
per, that he gave Mr.. G-half a sovereign
to give me "for my impudence. Life Of
Mrs. Davis.
Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1857-09-17
WHOLE NO 995.
The Country on the ella River.
Correspondence of the Washington st.r.l
CAMP OF THE RIO GlLA, N. M
Inna 1897
June, 1857.

The Gila here is clear, rapid stream
discharging considerable volume Of water
-skirted Oh both sides with cottonwood
trees, and an underground of willow, goose
berry and wild currant bushes The coun-
Try Is interesting, on account Of the ruins
OF buildings and enclosures seen every
where, and the pieces of broken pottery
tina! strew the ground. That the country
was once densely populated cannot be
doubted, and by race far in advance of the
present Indian occupants, in arts and arch
Itecture, ,heir painted pottery and fallen
dwellings fully prove. In front of my tent
are the ruins of large building and enclo-
sure have collected many pieces Of pot
terry, painted and glazed, which retain the
colers, notwithstanding time and exposure;
the painting is chequered and striped, colors
red and black on white ground. Atwhst
time this people occupied the country,
whence they came. and where gone, are
subjects for the antiquarian, but will scarce
ly be known until that "great day when all
things shall be revealed I"
An old Navahoe chief saws, ssthey are
gone Quitting both hands up, the palms out :.
toward the South) away there" but they
have no tradition in regard to them. A
Puebla chief, now here. says his people
have tradition of Moutezuma, and of Cor
tez the SPan:ard, but nothing relative to
this extinct race. A probable conjecture
IS that they were the ancient Aztecs, or
portion Of them, and that they we're driven
South, or exterminated, bv the faithless,
savage Apache. The country is mountain
Gus generally, with many beautiful valleys
anc canons; timber along the water courses
and in the canons Of the mountains and on
tae mountain sides; the 'mesas" below, the
valleys, hills and prairie. are covered with
gama grass. The Indinns fred the morD-
taias in our vicinity on our arrival at this
point, and most of the country has been
burned over; for two days we contended
against flames to preserve our camp.
Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1857-09-17

E-The most laughable. if it had not
been quite so horrible, joke of the season,
was perpetrated by snahe yesterday after
noon. A few days since a sea captain
named Wilson arrived in our port With
three Anacondae which lie had conveyed to
his house in Front street. One of the ami
mails, fifteen feet long and stout in proPor-
ton, was missing on Tuesday last, Nh it
was thought he had been stolen; but yester-
day afternoon the fact leaked out that his
snakeship. had merely journeyed off on an
exploring expedition, tsr yesterday alter
noon, officer 81 was in SAMSON street,
when Hibernian came up TO him in breath
less haste, and stated that Wrapping big
bull dog was in his cellar No. 81 imme-
at " descended to the cellar in search OF
the big dog; but was somewhat astoni>hec
at putting his loot upon something some-
what SHINY. No. 6l next he rd tremen-
duusIy Kissing ind concluded it was about
time TO leave, but IN attempting TO beat a
retreat he found he had caught tartar, for
the saake wound himself around one leg and
the body OF tn officer and commenced to
crush him up in accordance with the regu-
larly established practice of Anacondas
Fortunately No, 81 is very powerful man,
and as game as he is athletic. He accord
ingIy seized the snake by the back of the
neck with a tremendous grip, and he held
him very uncomlortably until Captain VIII
son was sent for. The Captain relieved No
81 in the custody of the snakes nape, and
while he held on the officer unwound him.
self, or in other words. 'shufiled off the NOR.
tai COLI The officer was badly bruised by
the close embrace of the snake, but laughed
heartily a, the affair, laugh quickened
doubtless by the fact that he received ten
dollar bill by the way of plaster for his
wounds Aug. 10.
Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1857-09-17
From the Hartford Courant, urust 90
A Three Minute Horse.

A certain DR.. Blank had a horse so thor
oughly used up as to be worthless-the only
good points remaining being were his bones
dstened the skin. So he prepared to dis
pose of him in this wise. He went int. the
stable with lath and gave the aniffal a
regular rib-wasting three times day, until
finally, whenever the excited horse heard
his step, or saw his face, he would begin 10
kick and plunge dixie one possessed. Arri-
we'd at this point, the doctor borrowed the
decorated blanket Of once we'll knswn
nag called white Feather and enveloping
the remairs of his horse in it, sent him to
action 10 be sold, with, directions to the
auctioneer to slet him slide if he could get
bid of forty dollars. In the mean time the
brute was advertised as celebrated horse
kind in harness-had made his mile inside
of three minutes-was handy at the plow-
and sold only because the owner had no
| further use for him.
On the day of sale, a crowd gathered
among which was the doctor, whom the
horse no sooner saw, than he began to mani.
fest signs of uneasiness, which the auctioneel
called life and spirit! The first bid was sew.
enty-fve dollars, and soon run up to one
hundred-one hundred and twenty fve-one
hundred and fifty-at which price the nag
was pronounced sold The buyer "a dowr
easter) paid the money, and harnessed the
spirited animal to his wagon, informing the
crowd that he was going to Cape Cod,whers
he himself belonged.
He had not been absent more than al
hour, when he was seen vending his way
back. not having got quite so far as Capt
Cod. He told the auctioneer that he had re
turned to make some enquiries, which per
haps it would have been as well 10 hav,
made before he bought the horse.
'You say this animal has made his mil
in three minutes7'
a Yes
May be allowed to enquire how lon
since!'
o 'Certainly--within three weeks
'One question more-whers did he dc it!
'On the Rutland railroad cars--dow
o lgrsdeP
Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1857-09-17
Minnesota State Constitution.

Both Conventions at St. Paul adjourned
sine die on the 29th ult. The Conventions
agreed on the same Constitution, which is
to be submitted to the people of the Terri
tory for their approval or rejection on the
18th day of October next. That it will be
adopted nearly unanimously, is probable.
On the same day an election is ID be held
for members of Congress, Governor, Lieu
tenant Governor, Superior and District
Judges, members of the Legislature, and all
other officers designated in the Constitution.
There will be stirring political times in
Minnesota for a weeks 10 come.
The new Consti tuition prohibits slavery,
and guarantees liberty of the press, trial by
jury, &c The first Legislature is to con-
s;st of 81 Senators aud so Representatives;
pay So per day. There is to be Govern
or, Lieutenant Governor, Attorney General,
Secretary of State, and Treasurer. elected
for two years, and an Auditor for three. The
Judiciary is to be vested in a Supreme
Court, District Courts, Courts Of P oba.e,
Justices of the Peace, and such other Courts,
inferior 20 the Supreme Court, as the Legis-
Iature may establish BY t@o-thirds vote;
ali Judges and Justices 10 be elected By the
people. White male citizens of the United
States. twenty-one years Of age, residing in
the United States one year, and in the State
tour months next preceding any election,
are voters. Also white persons OF foreign
birth, having the above qualifications Of age
and residence, who shall have legally de-
clared their in'ention to become citizens;
and persons of mixed white and Indian
blood, and of indian blood, under certain
regulations. The Legislature may, by a
,wo-thirds vote, pass General Banking
LAW, with stringent restrictions and re-
quiremcnis. St. Parl to the seat of Gov
ernment, until located elsewhere by the
II
Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1857-09-17


GrIt has been satisfactorily ascertained
that ducks enter the water for 6srers rea-
sons. and come out for suH-dry motives.
.Msmma, can a door speak Certainly
not. nv dear Then why dii you tell An
ME, one morning, to answer the door'
CJButcher. There, sir; that's a fms
ham, cured it myse!f!'-Customer. Cured
Il Yourself. why, whs; was the matter with
ur
6TThe preacher tha, warns up his hear
ers i!h words that burn has been con-
suited with BY the deacons upon the propri-
ETY. OF having no fire in the church the COM
ing winter.
OTA boy at q recent examination 10 an
English sc1uol, was asked who discovered
America Il wish may die says British
editor. III he didn't answer. Yankee Doodle"
Solvent osGold A vsg Of the Board of
Examiners at Apolhecares' llsN asked an
applicant Tor it's diploma what Government
messure was ike nitro muriSi!e sridl The
candidate could not answer me question:
gave i, up. The ex1m;ner seid. Why,
the Divorce Bill. to be sure. because twill
dissolve weddipg-ring.' Tbs Postulanr
went into convulsious OF laughter. He pas
! sed, OF course.-Pgach.
| krautsalaEt's wife has great fancy for
country life, aud insists on ksePlng sen
in the back yard, as Hood says, ito furnish
milk, butter. and eggs for the ssmily.' The
other day she cane to krauts.en, in great
,repidation. My DEAR said she, the hen
has CONNER ced to set. took the eggs
away from her, and she is setting, now, in
one corner of tho coal-bin, on an old axe
besdr-Well, my DEAR responded Ersut-
salsnt, in his subdued, bilious way, II the
hen is setting upon an old axs-hesd. 1t
seems quitely likely that she may hateh'1s:
Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1857-09-17
Smuggling a House.

James A., was young man who COM
menced life with very fsttering prospects,
and wife and lovely children soon blessed
him. Unhappily he became by slow de-
grees attached too strongly to strong drink,
and SOON became Ito make long story
short-a drunkard. One evening, he lett
his wife in tears, as was too common, repair
ed 20 the house OF man who sold him liquor,
AMI drank So much that he fell down into a
kind of stupificaton easily mistaken for
sleep. A II his companions had deserted him.
40 out midnight, the landlords wife came
into tine bar-room, and told him,
81 wish that man would go home, if he's
got one 10 60 to-"
"Hush. hush!'' says the landlord, "he'll
call for something else directly"
81 wish that he would make haste about
it, then, for its time every honest person was
abed," said his wife.
"He's taking shingles off his h,uSe, and
putting them Cd ours" said the landlord.
At this time James began to come to his
right senses, and commenced rubbing his
eyes, and stretching himself as if he had just
awoke, saying,"I believe I'll 60"
"Don't be in hurry, James," said the
landlord.
80 yes..I must CO." saws James, "good.
night!'' and off he started.
| After an absence of some time, the land.
lerd met and accosted him.
"Hallo, ] i'm, why amt you been down to
see us!''
why" said James, Il had taken shingles
enough off my house, and it began to leak,
so thought it was time TO stop the leak,
and have done it!''
| The tavern-keeper, nstonished, went
home to tell his wife about it, and James ev.
er since has let rum alone, and attended tc
his own business. He is now happy man
and his wife and children are happier thar
ever.
Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1857-09-17

MARRIED BY ExSEEss A wedding took
place on the lightning express train of the
Michigan Central Railroad yesterday, be-
tw cen kalamazoo and Gslesburgh. The
happy couple were Mr.. w. II Webster, Of
OF ego county, N. Y, and Miss Emeline c.
Beach, OF Guernsey county, Ohio. They
ere married by John Edwards, f q, JUS
tice OF kalamazoo. We s,e informed that
The courlship took place during the ride iron
Chicago TO that point. When people of the
opposite sex do their cOurting in the shorr
space of some four or five hours while RI
ding at the rate OF about tnir;y-two miles al
hour, ard marry while riding at the same
lightning-speed, we think no one will dis
pure that this is a fast age The happy
pair went to Cleveland by steamer last eve
ming -Detriot Advertiser.
Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1857-09-17
nrPunch holdeth forth thus:

"Gallsntry forbids calling the ladies by
hard names, but without peaning to I'M
pugn the orthodoxy Of their sentiments we
must say, that go long as they allow them
selves such latitude in the article OF crino'
line, they run an imminent risk CT being
snoken of as latitudinarians.
nArMotto for the Governor of Utah.-Gt
| n whiie yUu're fousa.
Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1857-09-17

nTWhat is more beautiful and poetica.
than the chld's idea of ice-'Water gone to
Sleep
nYWhen is a man four-handed animall
When he, douoles his fists.
Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1857-09-17

CJDid you ever know such meeharl
cal genius as my sonr said an old lady. HI
has made a fiddle out OF his own head, and
he has wood enough for ano;hsr,'
Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1857-09-17

[Origipal.l
The Worth of Ambition.

And is 1t but an empty cheat
An evanescent bawble;
A child of sordid selfishness-
A flame of consuming troublef
A snare laid for unwary feet
With bait of worldly glory,
A false. .enticing table complete;
rosd Ambition's suong7
Csiiitwhafysu viii, tits
The SOULS enkindling fire,
String its inbom energies;
s'Godlike action" to INSPIRE
Shaking off the shameful lethargy
Which tagging nature woos;-
Teaching lofty aspirations
Are not forms to abuse.
II has led for many ages
The onward march Of mind"
And has caused the farm of progress"
To leave time an age behind.
Il has made high-minded heroes
From souls of noble worth,
But who might have lived in darkness
From humbleness of truth.
II has broken chains Of bondage
And freedoms flag unfurld;-
Kindled truths calescent altar
Which is lighting Up the world.
An did not this ennobling thought
Pervade the human bfeast
Now might the nations Of the earth
In dark oblivion rest
o tell me not OF streams OF blood
Shed but to write a n,me.
Since come foul nnissnthropic clod
Had been kindled by this 6arns.
o say no, how the power Of Sin
O'ercomes the human heart.-
Compels the pure impulse within
To act the baser part.
That God who gave our gifts and powers
Gave our ambition too.
To call them into exercise
Exacting Desiinys due.
And if we let His truth direct
Our each aspiring thought,
Earth's brightest boons we may possess,
Nor yet leave heavens unboueht.
ALPHoNsE.
Louisville, 1857
Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1857-09-17

The present owner made up his mind, in
stanter, that the term sold had double
Specification.
The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1857-05-14
BY Larus & shine.

4 UCTION SIS, goo worth OF Silver Pla-
n ted Goods Pistols, Clocks, Toy Locomotives
nc received per steamer Jamestown and will be
sold, on FRIDAY, the 18th inst. The shipment con-
stats of Silver Plated Spoons. Forks Butter HALVES
Silver Plated Tea 8ets, Butter Dishes Cake Baskets
Salvers, Table Castors, with Cut Glass, DC.
Several styles Of American Clocks, ssme beautiful
time pieces for the MANTLE covered with glaas
shade ell new styles and warranted perfect timers
Revolving Pistols pocket. amy and navy gzs,
Portable Adams, Toy Engines, that run BY clock
work with without cars
The sale will take place In our large sales room
commencing at 10 O'clock, and continue until the
stock is ciosed hotel keepers families, a. well a.
sale The goods will be on exhibition, and any srti-
Gle can be bought prior TO the day Of sale
my IS LARUs SHINE Aucts.
GALE OF HOUnK.-WiII be sold On 81.
- TURDAY, the 18th Of May neIt, at 70 o. clock,
the Bouse lstely occupied the sherifs office OF
Henrico county, which stands the Court House
Lotto be removed within ton days from the day Of
sale. Terms cash.
By order Of the County Court.
my 13-4t JNO. A. HUTCHINSON 8. H. C.
I AND IN NEW KENT FOR ~ALK...
IL Will be sold, publiclv, st the next New Ken
Court pot disposed Of before that day s7I acres oil
land. sdjoisips the lands Of DR. ssml Webb. Henry
Webb and Henry Costney. The above land 10 In
short distance OF the York River Railroad and tn
Psmunty river; supposed to have Q fine chance Of
ship timber l deem II unnecessary to give far
Their tescrip tion, ~ any one disposed to purchase
will examine for themselves
Terms made knosn on the day sale. ,
AZ 29-,2t' WM COr9IN
The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1857-05-14
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