The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1857-09-29
To Young Women.

Some one hath said, "matrinony is with
women the great business of life, whereas
with men it is an incident" an important
one to be sure, but only one among many
to which their attention is directed, and Of
ten kept entirely out of view during several
years of early life. Now, this difference
gives the other sex great advantage over
you; and the best way TO equalzo your lot
and become as wise as they are, is to think
rs little about it as they do.
The less your mind dwels upon lovers
and matrimony, the more agreeable and
profitable will be your intercourse with gen
tlemen. If you regard man as intellectual
beings, who have access to certain sources
of knowledge of which you are deprived, and
seek 10 derive all the benefit you can from
their peculiar attainments and experience
if yon talk TO them as one rational being
should with another, and never remind you
that you are candidates for matrmony-you
will enjoy far moro than you can by rcgar-
ding them under that one aspect of posi-,
bic future admirers and lovers. When that
is the ruling and observing thought you have
not the proper use of your facilities: your
manners are constrained and awkward, yon
are easily embarrassed and made to say what
is ilgudged, silly, and out Of place; and you
defeat your own views by appearing to u
great disadvantage.
However secret you may be in these spcu-
lations, if you are continually thinking of
them, and attaching undue Importance to
tho acquaintance of gentlemen, it will most
certainly show itself in your manners and con-
yersation, and will betray weakness that is
held in especial contempt By the stronger
sex.
Since the custom of society have awarded
10. man the privilege Of making tko first ad-
vance towards matrmony, it is tho safest
and happiest way for women to leave the
matter entirely in his hands, She should be
so educated as to consider that the great end
Of xisteuce-prclarp.ion for eternity-may
TO equally attained in manied or single life,
and that 10 union but the most perfect one
is at all desirable. Matrimony should bo
considered as an incident in life, which, fit
come at all, must como without any contri-
vance Of yops; and therefore you may safe
ly put aside all thoughts II it ill some one
forces the subject upon Your notice by proies-
sions of a particular interest in YOU.
Lively, ingenious, conycisibIc, and char
ming little girls, are often spoiled into dull,
bashful, silent yourg ladies, and all because
their heads are full of nonsense about beaux
and lovers. They have thousand thoughts
and feelings which they would DO ashamed
to confess, though not ashamed TO entertain:
and their pre-ccupat On with subject which
they had better let ontirel, alone, prevents
their being the agreeable and rational com
pauons of tho gentlemen of their acquain-
lance which they are designed to be.
Girls get into all sorts of scrapes by undue
preocupations of mind; they misconstrue the
commoncst attention into marks of peculiar
regard, and thus uourish n fancy for per-
son who has never once thought of them but
as an agreeable acquaintance. They lose
the enjoyment of n party, if certain bcaux
are not there whom they expect TO meet;
they becomej jealous of their best friends, if
beaux are there and do not talk TO them as
much rs they wish; every triiie is magnified
into something OF Importance fruitful
source of miscry---and things Of real impor-
tance arc neglected for chimeras. And all
this gratituous painstaking defeats its own
ends! The labor is all in vain; such girls
srenR1tvtba t91fh,g gGnUlgi, aDdut' hHaarif}0e
ny at ALL arc sought and preferred before
them. We may add the advice, that young
women should not consider it serious mis-
fortune, even if never married, there is moth
ing disIeputable, while there may be much
happiness, in the condition of an old maid.