The Union and eastern journal. [volume] (Biddeford [Me.]) 1854-1858, 1857-02-06

Q must begin TO look out for yourself o VIII
Q We shall sadly want daughter when on
Q little Lily is gone"
, was thunderstruck. felt as II crush
ed by q mountain weight. I looked frou
one to the other in mute astonishment. A
last managed to ask what was it-whs
did he mean2
"Why, has not Lily written to you, tn
!. sly little mink! thought she would hav
told you. She went to Richmond last win
ter and brought back with her an elegant
fine looking fellow, q DR.. Allen, dshe ha
taken fancy to the name. think shei
dong we'll. no doubt. but still l shall mis-
my little lady.bird sadly. had hoped !
would have been different, but there is nj
accounting for tastes. Well, good night
Will, my boy-I am glad you are at home
once more and the old gentlemen pickec
up his candle and left the room. l do moi
kusw Low long I lay with my head in N,
mothers lap, al my hopes blasted, my
dream at an end. Not ono word was spoken
but softly, softly moved the velvet palm
over my feverod brow. l closed my eyes,
| l felt that she read my heart. She knew its
agony; and if anything could comfort me,
her silent sympathy did. Every now and
then she would stoop down and kiss away
the scalding tears, which, in spite Of my
manhood, would aow, and say, ,"dear child"'
or "My poor willio!" But in the long
hours we sat there, she never pried into my
secret. only gave me her silent sympathy.
At last we parted, and retiring to my room,
| threw myself upon my bed and gave way
to my bitter grief. Ihad never had such
feelings before. Heart and brain seemed
crushed by one stroke. The thick darkness
of night was nothing to the midnight OF my
heart. For hours lay tossing, groaning'
and lamenting that had ever been born.-
The many blessings l had were as nothing.
What were they in comparison with what
was denied to me? Like spoiled child, !
di.daincd all my toys because there was one
beyond my grasp. Oh. how is that night
written deep on my mcmory-burned into
nv heart! No soft hand to soothe away
tho anguish, and alas knew not where to
find comfort when no earthly friend was
near.
Hours must have passed before, exhausted
by my overwrought feelings, l fell into a
strange slumber-so deep, that l was un-
conscious of my own breathing, and yet
acutely conscious OF objects around. | had
nv ewes closed, but felt the darkness press
ing upon my lids. II seemed rs If even my
heart stood still. So horrible were my sen.
sations that longed to rouse myself, but,
like person in nightmare, l was unable
to stir; so lay until it seemed to grow
lighter around me. and l heard James 1.-THE
servant) entering the room. I heard him
step carefully and noisclcssly for fear of dis
4
turbinc my slumber. I heard him stop,
surprised, at the foot of my bed, at seeing
me still dressed as had been the day before.
lie seemed at first to hesitate about calling
me. He would walk abont the room. and
then return to the bed as If there was some
thing IN my appearance which drew him
there. longed for him to touch me, and
arouse me from my horrible nightmare AT
last he came close to mo and called, "Mass'
William! Mass William" l did not
| moyc-I could not move. He laid his hand
on mine. 1t was icy cold against his, and
Ire rushed, horrifed from the room. All
this felt, but could not move. Then /
kn ew that was in living death. Oh,
why was 1t that the agony at my heart did
not send the curdling blood through my
veins But no; the same awful stiffness
rcsncd through my whole frame. Oh,
what would not have given to have raised
a finger to move a muscle felt that was
indeed q living soul in dead body. My
hands lay crossed serencly over my breast
as If to tell of quiet within my features,
feh, were placid and calm. My frame seem.
cd no longer a part of myself. My soul
writhed in agony aud silence within its shell.
I heard my mothers shrek, my fathers
groau +; and there was another sound-i'
seemed like q vail of anguish from break
ing heart. Whose was it? And the i'm
prisoned feelings quivored AMI shook will
something between pleasure and pain, bu
they gave no outward sign. l heard the
confusion about the house; the physician
the minister sent for; orders issu cd will
the greatest rapidity, but each ono hear
and felt by me. ! seemed to bea mas o
feeling, and each circumstance vibrate'
painfully against tho tishtly-strung cho,S
descending through my whole frame. and in
its descent touching each nerve, sending
through me thrill of intense anguish, the
most exquisite suffering but there was the
same awful stiffness reigncd without.
They gathered around my bcd-my father
nv mother. the servants, ALL heard then
deep sobs. Iheard the grief too deep FOL
tears-so sudden, so lately in health, and
now dead! Ishuddercd at the word; but
the shell upon the bed was silent-quiet al
ever. Ny mothers form pressed the bee
beside me, her agony giving vent only occa
sonally in such words US "Oh! had hc bu
been child of God, could have borne 1t
but death without hope"'
The doctor came. Mycyclids were raised
Through those half.closcd portals sale'
once more on the faces 50 loved; but m!
feelings gave no expression to thos . film
covered pupils. Ny vest was undo'e.
heard the sad declaration. in tones Of sym
pa.hy. "No pulsation-all over" l tell
nv mother fall lifeloss beside me-l hear
-.nC an aV,f