Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1857-08-13
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sent year, agsinst $4,000 last year. Good.
One of the toasts drank at a recent cel-
ebration -"Woman-she requires no
eulogy-she speaks for herself.
I'd think our church will last good ma
ny years yet," said waggish deacon to his
minister; ~ see the sleepers are very sound.
The proprietor of the Tehama House,
San Francisco, advertises it as "carthquake
proof"
A child, attempting to describe to his
aunt snake, said it was ga thing all tail
clear up to the head
-"Make yourself an honest man and then
you may be sure there is one rascal less in
the world"
"A man often goes where he has no bus
mess to be, because he has no business
where he ought to be.
Set not thy watch by the town clock
the way of the world-but by the sure dla
of Scripture; for that never faileth of going
by the Sun of Righteousness.
"A tract of 100 acres of land without i'm
provements, and lying on the Missouri rlV
er, some three miles from Independence, was
recently sold for 500 per acre.
-"Jack," said a man to lad just enter
ing his teens, "your fathers drowned. -
"Darn it," replied the young hopeful, "and
he's got my knife in his pocket"
.-"457 100000 feet of lumber received
at Chicago in one year! Phew? - quoth
Starlight, couldn't fellow get board cheap
there? ?"
1t is said that the kind mothers at the
East are growing so afectionate that they
give their children chloroform previous tc
whipping them.
There is medium between excessive
difidence, and too universal confidence
If we have no foresight, we are surprised
if we are too nice we are miserable.
Michigan has new law diminishing the
sentences of State prison convicts one day
for every month of perfect good behavior
That must be consoling to those sentenced fol
life.
-"Are those bells ringing for fire ?" in
quired Simon Tiberas. "No indeed" an
swered Tibe; "they have got plenty of fire
and the bells are now ringing for water tt
match"
-"Ihere is no place like home" says the
poet. Right! unless it's the home of thu
young woman you're after. This is, o
course, an exception. Future poets vii
please to note it.
- There is more true happiness and genu
inc comfort in presiding over and enjoying
the sweets of quiet home, than in sWayins
the destinies and commanding the luxurie!
of an empire.
"A wag has truly remarked, that if some
men could come out of their graves and reao
the inscriptions on their tomb-stones, they
would think they had got into the wrong
graves
"A troubled mind is often relieved by
maintaining cheerful demeanor. The eft
fort withdraws its attention from the cause
or pain, and the cheerfulness which it pro
notes it in others extends by sympathy it.
self.
The old gentleman who thought he could
stop rat hole with toasted cheese, has just
been overtaken with the hallucination, viz
that young women can be kept from know
ing "what's what" by sending them to boar
ding schools.
A shrewd old gentleman once said to his
daughter: "Be sure, my dear, that you new
er marry a poor man, but remember, the
poorest man in the world is one that has mo-
ney and nothing else." There is much in
this and we commend it to the ladies.
-"Have you got sister,? Then love and
cherish her with holy friendship" says an
exchange, to which the New Orleans Times
adds, elf you haven't got any sister of your
own, take some other feller's sister, and love
her. The effect is just as good-sometimes
better"
To secure the establishment of line Of
steamers from England to the waters of the
Chesapeake, it is stated that all the rail.
road companies in Virginia, and some in
Kentucky and Tennessee, have Joined the
movement, and the parties now pledged to
the enterprise represent capitol of fifty mil
lion of dollars.
A teacher one day endeavoring to make
a pupil understand the nature and applica-
tion of a passive verb, said, GA passive verb
is expressive of the nature of receiving an
action, as, Peter is beaten. Now, what did
Peter do?" The boy, pausing a moment,
with the gravest countenance imaginable,
replied, "Well, I don't know, without he
hollered"
Two little girls, who rejoiced in play
houses and rag-babies became dissatisfied
when they found the babies faces, so easily
soiled, could not be washed. Those were
not the kind of babies, surely; and they
both knelt down together, while the older
one devoutly prayed, over and over again /:
"Lord O, Lord give me baby! Lord,
please to give me baby-a meat baby"
The invention of the needle is generally
ascribed to negro, whose name is now for
gotten but whether this is correct or not, it
is certain that the first needles ever made in
England were the workmanship of a negro,