Lewisburg chronicle. [volume] (Lewisburg, Pa.) 1850-1859, 1857-02-13


Learn from ,his-ye doa,ing lovers
In your anguish not to break
Anything Of greater value
Than the promises you make.
Hearts were made to put in motion
Blood that otherwise mishicool;
Pleasure, profit and promotion
Graduate a, Cupid's school.
~~-~>~~~
WITHOUT ANY TAIL.-A very "partic-
ular friend" is Amos Smith, and very
deeided enemy to all worldly titles, as any
body in Philadelphia knows; but as bus
mess correspondent from the South didn't
know. Aud "thereby hangs tale"
This correspondent had directed bis let.
ter to "4naos Smith, Esq" Friend Amos
replied puuotually, and after dispatching
blsiuess matters added the following post
scrip:
81 desire to inform thee that, being a
member of Society Of Friends, am not
free to use worldly titles in addressing my
friends, aud wish them to refrain from Us.
ing them to me. Thou wilt, therefore,
please to omit the word Esquire at the end
of my name, and direct thy letters to
Amos Smith, without any tail"
BY the return mail came reply, direc.
ted, in precise accordance with the request
Of the particular Friend, to
"Amos Smith, uithout any Tail, Phila.
delphia"
~~~O~-~N~~~-o0~~~
"TAKING DOWN" AN ORATOR During
the Presidential election of 1914, q psliti-
clan somewhere in New Hampshire WAS
making speech, and objecting very strong
ly to the election of Henry Clay on the
ground of his being duelist. This done
he began to glorify his ows party, as small
in plumbers, but destined to achieve great
things. He compared it to David ooino
forth with sling and stones to the combat
with the gigantic Goliah. Piling up the
eloquence, he reached the climax at last,
and cried out
"And then-then, fellow citizers-whst
did David do ?"
"Fa q duel, air" came in shrill tones
from one of the assembly.
The orator "shus up" Immediately.
->-------c---------------
Old Pinchem had the reputation of be.
ing most miserly man. One day, CON-
ing out of his stable with three suall nub
bins Of corn in his hand, his COW, an at
teuuated burlesque on the bovine genus,
approached and made it evident that the
provendcr would be highly agreeable to
her palate. P;nchem gave her one of the
nubbins. which seemed only to inAame her
hunger, for she followed him believing
for more. With a sign of regret, he gave
her another, but just as he was abou, to
enter his door the COW intercepted him,
aud seemed inclined to contest the passage
for the remaining nubbin. Thoroughly
enraged, the old reprobate flung the last
bite to the animal and exclaimed "There,
you darned fool take it and founder"
"Hi say, ham hi hon the right road to
Artford ~ asked an English traveller
"Wa-all you be-"
"Ow far must hi 90 before hi can get
there ?"
"Wa-all, if you turn round and 60 the
other way, you will have to travel about
ten miles. But if you keep on the way
you are going you will have to 60 abou,
twenty four thousand miles, kackalatc"
Dialogue betreen t~o distinyui.hed Gen
hemen
SoUTHEENER-We, of the South, give
to the North, statesmen you give US,
wooden putnegs.
NoRTHERNER-Well, the exchange is
mt far from even the statesmen are abou,
the same quality as the nutmegs.
---~----~----------~~----~-----~
When a man gets mad and stops his pa
per, he always borrows the next number
OF his ne'ghoor TO see II the withdrawal OF
bis paper has mt killed the editor aud
dressed the columns in mourning. Such
men are apt to imagine that the world rests
on their shoulders.
>~~--~--~--------------------
PArHoLoGr--A man who proposed to
write Dictionary of the English language,
an being asked what he understood the
word p,,hot22y to mean, answered, "Why,
DE sr: oi roi0- making, to be sure"
Horace Greeley, When in London, wrote
a7m, that be had 'ipaid visi. to several
Aaar Ing houses, in one of which he saw
-e~i' invented brick, which struck him
.-yarahly"