Indiana American., 1857-01-16
3 Column Of fun.

~ NO NAt VINO AAr fitut W no ~
he pleases. most generally plsazcs 10 do
wrong,
or A man never forgets an insult 10
his pride and purse; woman to her beauty
or love.
0-r A man loves when bis Judgement
approves; a woman's judgment approves
when she loves.
or II you love your son, give him
plentyof cudgel; II you hate him. cram
him with dainties-
0zNever. perhaps. are children so dear
to their parents as at present. when provis-
ions are so high.
OF The man who can crack joke IN
half minute after fifty pound weight
has fallen upon his toes. may be called sx-
crutatingly funny.
or The man that sows disscnsions BE-
tween man and his wife, Is very apt 70
reap axe-helves and mop-sticks--a poor
crop, and not worth cultivating
or There is firm in Now York, the
name Of which is LAY, HATCH & CLuck.
The clerks are supposed TO be all shane-
hais. @ p =. Yes
0TTalk about mysterious knockincr
what is more mysterious than the
knoclkings Of two human hearts, set In
motion by the magnetism Of youthful
love?
0T Some think that il nature had de-
signed man to be drunkard, she would
have constructed him like churp, 90 thst
the more he drank, the more firmly bs
would stand.
6T To judge by the event, is an euor
all abuse and all commit: for in every in
stance courage, IL crowned by success, il
heroism; if elouded by defeat, temerity.-
Colon tf
TRUE.-A venerable old man has very
sensibly remarked:
LET the slandered take comfort-it Is
only at the fruit trees that thieves throw
stones, w
OF Why is hungry boy looking at
the pudding in cook shop window like .
wild horse?
Because he would be all the better II he
had a bit in his mouth.
OF A sailor being asked how he liked
his bride is reported to have remarked
why, dye see, took her to be only
half Of me, as the parson says, but dash
me If she isn't twice as much as I. Pm
only tar-she's a tar-tar."
0T A lady in Oregon, writing to =
friend near this place, says that the cattle
in that region live to be so old that their
owners have to fasten long poles to the
ends Of their horns for the scrinzles b run
out on"
OF A modern writer thus defines hon.
or:
standing a fire wen, and shooting
friend whom you love, in order to gain
the praise of few others whom you dcs-
pise."
OF tho Boston Post has the credit
for the last and latest liquid remedy for
badness: q II F.
"Use brandy externally till :the hair
grows, and then take it internally to clinol
the roots.v t
LET PEOPLE TALK.-The man that has
no enemies may at once conclude that he
has no parts for it is natural for little
minds to envy and detract from that
which Is great as 1t is for water to seek
level.
0T A worthy minister, noted for his wit
on being asked what kind Of person the
wife of Mr.. was, replied,
Iwill give you her grammatical char
acter. She is q noun substantive-seen,
felt and heard"
A Thin DREss.-An exchange paper,
under the head Of sGood Advice" advis-
es young men to "wrap themselves up In
virtue" A contemporary well says
ave are afraid many Of them would
freeze to death, il they had no better COW
ering."
OrA conceitcd fellow, in introducing
his friend into company, said,
Gentlemen, assure you he Is not 20
great fool as he seems"
The gentleman Immediately replied,
"That is exactly the difference between
my friend and myself"
OF "Scolding is the pepper of mstri-
mony, and the ladies are the pepper-box-
cs !"
The above remark was made in our hear
ling, by an old fogy bachelor. We would
give his name, but we are afraid the peace
Of the neighborhood might bc disturbed
by the noise Of broom-handle.
The WAY TO DO Ir.-A sporting young
lady says;
"lf the course OF true love never runs
smooth, why don't they water IL and roll
it regularly SO many hours each day. until
they get the course so smooth that any
donkey could run on it?'
i That young lady is some. =,
G~rA Dutchman wanted 10 wed . wid-
ow, and his manner Of making known his
intention was as follows
"If you is content to get better for .
worse, to bc happy for miserable. and II
you smokes and drinks ale. l shall take
you for no better and much worse"
Upon which the lady replied. %. Ysw."
" A gipsey woman promised TO show
two young ladies their husbands faces IN
, A nail Of water. They looked and exclsim-