Delaware weekly Republican. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1841-188?, 1857-04-16
HUMOROUS.

the pleasure Of SHINING you himself.
a certain gallant editor thinks when singla
gentleman can't psss a clothes line without
counting all the long stockings, it is sign he
ought 10 getmarried, and the sooner the better
An editor out west apologized for the delay
in getting out his paper, that 'his wife had
nlonopolized the scissors to halt seat his trop-
serloons with.
A lawyer wrote Rascal ia the hat of a
brother lawyer, who, on discovering it, enter
Ell a complaint IN open court against the tres
passer who he said, had not only taken his hat
but had written his own name in it.
The school-oficers Of a small town in
Dutohess County, in the state Of New York,
having advertised for a school-master, received
! as application" from a candidate OF .sgOOd
charictor,' who said he scould fill up his time
at tailoring, ifrequired.
I johnson says he never was in tight place
! but once, and that was when he had a mad bull
! ty the tail Had he held on, the bull would
! l"Fc dragged him TO death through stubble
! heil, while If he had not held ON the critter
| would have turned around and gored him to
| death 20 -F
| II gives Us much plesure to announce that
beynotschpreckenseham
Notwithstanding the celebrated German
organ grinder, has at last arrived, and will
Hitfi Aiy hlllHdt WIN a llDuGu nose uNuHOOu.
dressed in the latest Parisian style.
Scene ina Newspaper Office. Advertiser
4 nave a pig yot strayed away; 1vhat do you
clargr to put ldm in the paper2'
1T will depend Oh thesize, or the number of
words We use.'
is it the sise We'll, then, Jimmy Smith
paid but quarter TO put his horse in, aud sure
Iy pig is not so big asa horse.
An old TOPPER who once attended an exhibit
tion, where learned professor caused several
| explosions to take place among gases produced
from water, sud-
| 'Iou don't catch me putting much water in
| my i.qAor after this, had no idea that water
was SO dangerous, though I never tallc much
| ofit3
| An old gentleman, whose better half Caro-
line sports any quantity of hoops, recently,
when abont leaving large party, on missing
his wife suddenly exclaimed 81 wonder where
my Crinoiine's got to !'' 10 which spasmo-
die invctaTate added. 81 suppose she's gone
oil with the koopiag-cOugh!' !'
-------
An editor puts forth the following anathema
to all delinquent patrons:
'Send us our dues--or may you be shot with
Lightning and compelled to wander through
deserts Ofgunpowder yolr eyes be sore and d
chestnut burr for an eye-stone. May you hayo
hornets nest in each boot, vipers in your
ears, scorpions in your bosom, and be rode by
Irish bog-rotters in the night with two bush
el bug Of potatoes tied to each legi
Srmirutb CoLLooUY.-sB did you ever
see tables move by the aid of spirits from the
spirit word3
80, Sam but l saw n stool move, and It
came towards nc with perfect rush,
Were you not little frightened p
Yes, but lodged it,
'Who made. it move, Bil7
Why, my own sweetheart she throwed it at
me because made fun of the way she put
her h1ir up in paper
IN little town on tho upper Mississippi river.
a clergyman recently married a young conpe
and after the ceremony was over, wished the
bride pleasant journey down the stream OF
iife.'
i hope so,' said she innocently; sbut I've
heard thcrc was great deal of fever on the
river now, and hope we shan't kotch none
out ON the way down.
1t is a pretty good story about Mr. Crane,
young clergyman who was settled, a -grcat
many years ago, in town in Massachusetts,
maid servant in the village who attended his
preaching, soon exhibited symptoms Of being
sin love-" and after mu Ii urging from her
confessed tho object of her passion
By silently pointing to the crane in the Kitchen
fireplace! He married the girl Immediately,
and they had twelve children.
'lIow old are yo, said Smart, to dwarash
young man.
Twenty
i w0nderyou amt right down ashamed of
being no biggeri you look like a boy of ten
'Atl comes Of being.a dutiiul child
sHpw so ?
'When was ten, father put his hand upon
my head, and said, s'Stop therer' and he then
ran away; rye never seen him since, and l
Htdh slilH,' u y'sht % GO on growing without
his consent
\ good story is told of Mr.. Marcy, SAYS the
Warr1nton Flag, to tbs effect hat as Ex-Secre-
taries Guthrie and Marcy were returning from
a dinner party siHce the 4th of March, the con-
versotion turned upon the subject Of rotation in
office, and Mr.. q. asked Mr.. NJ, what he thought
OF the policy Marcy replied that he sshld got
the credit oforignating tho doctrine sto tho
yictors belong the spoils," but heaven forbid
that he should ever countenauce the pllaging
Of our own camp!"
A Freuchman, who has been travelling in
America, says l see that am approaching
he West by the increasing familiarity of the
interiors. A coachman calls me his friend -
SOthing of this kind is equal to VIII ut happened
o German prince. He had made an agree
nent with man TO drive him to the next town
The driver entered the hotel, whip in hand,
md said "Wherc's the man who starts this
'yeningi l am the gentleman who takes
,hOrge Of him"
A Nebraska paper gives the following ac-
,Ount of the mails out west awe received
otter two days ago from Chicago, informing
rs that its author would be in Nebraska last
september. And since it was written he has
been here, remained month, made thou.
sand dollars in cash, had two fights, and has
gone back and got married. And the last bun
die of New York T'ribunes that were received
at Nebraska City had mouse's nest in il and
five young ones alive, besides several dead
ones, supposed to have been poisoned by eat