The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1857-08-05
GU r OHIO.

No man liring should say an i'll word
against the doctors.
Be mild to those who are thy Deepen
ents; be not arrogant.
THE deacon who took up contribution
has laid it down again.
BRAVE actions are the substance Of life,
and good sayings the ornament of it.
NEXT to my friends | love my enemies
for from them l first hear my faults.
The man who wrestled with adversitv
wore out his silk stockings, and got wors-
ted.
FLowERs are the alphabet of angels
wherewith they write on hills and plains
mysterious truth.
The young man who went with an an
gel in book-muslin, has returned with q
termigrant in hoops.
"WHAT's whiskey brgnging7" inquired
dealer in that article. bringing men
to the gallows," was the reply.
One of the boys tells of scarecrow
made by Uncle Ben. 1t not only scared
off every crow that saw it, but one crow
was SO frightened that he brought back
the corn he stole three days before.
"WIFE" said married man looking for
his boot-jack after she was in bed, 81 have
a place for everything and you ought to
know it by this time" 81 ought to know
where you keep your late hours but |
don't"
THE husband of beautiful wife, upon
returning home one day, was met by one
of his offspring, all smiles, clapping bis
hands, and saying, ''Pa, Mr.. B. has been
here-he's such nice mamie kissed us
all around, and mother too,
AN Irish servant girl was requested by
o lady to go to one of our dry goods stores
and get bed comforter" for her.
About an hour afterwards she returned
with one OF the clerks. 1t is needless to
add, perhaps, tina. the lady tainted.
A NEl, reading of an old couplet is
thus rendered by savage hster of hoops
and that style of dress which leaves TOO
little of woman's beauty to magma
tom
"Lo on a narrow neck of land.
'Twixt two unbounded she's | stand.
The grand error of life is we look too
far; we scale the heavens-we dig down
70 tho centre of the earth for systems
and we forget ourselves. Truth lies be-
fore us; it is in the highway path. and
the ploughman treads on it with clouted
shoes.
A MAN with large family was COM
planning of the difficulty of supporting all
of them.
"But said friend, "you have sons big
enough to earn something for you, now"
"Thc difficulty is they are too big to
work." WAS the answer.
"WHY, Charley" said Yankee to a
negro preacher, "you can't even tell
who made the monkey 2"
ooh, YES | can, massa."
"Wen, who made the monkey?'.
"Why, massa, the same one made the
monkey that made YOU"
WE have heard tall story of an Irish
knight, who was once disputing with q
French courtier, rs to the age and stand
ing of their families, when the latter as
finisher to the argument said that his an
cestors were in the ark with Noah That
is nothing, said the Hibernian, ''for at
the deluge my forsfathers were cruising
about az boat Of their Darn.
THE following is reported to us as hav-
ing happened in Bristol county A wit
ty clergyman being accosted by an old
acquaintance by the name of Cobb, re-
piled, al don't know YOU sir" s.mv
name is Cobb" rejoined the man who
was about half seas over. ''Ah sir replied
the clergyman, "you have so much corn
on you | didn't see the COB.
IwANT to go to Albany and back to
soc my grandson, "said respectable look
ing but simple hearted old lady, to tick
ct seller of the Hudson River Railroad
eve don't sell return tickets madam"
replied the clerk, with deferential polite
ness. ''Don't sell return tickets y exclaimed
the old lady with surprise: .'then | shan't
go, for l would not like TO stay away from
homo forever