Mountain Democrat., 1857-11-28
The Married Mans Plant.

In days Of yOre, when l was gay,
And careless, free and single,
Prom many friends, each fcstal day,
chose with whom to mingle,
They all were glad to have me come
I'd scores of Invitations
And little rose to keep me bomc,
Among my poor relations.
knew who brewed the strongest punch;
knew whose wines were rarest;
cared but little for their lunch,
.Nov who had maids the tairest.
I went where Dacchus would have gone
Ifelt il was my duty
feared the rosy god would mourn,
Should leave him for beauty.
But now, when wife and /, to dine,
Politely are invited,
/ dare not ask about the wine,
But 60 through quite benighted.
And we must dress in festive guise;
Ny wife in silks and feathers
While 1.-The tears Oppress my eyes
With feet in patent feathers.
Feared not once Whit Of smoke
About my gloves or collars,
Nor felt the weight of fashions yoke,
Nor measured men by dollars.
! wore then coats of easy fit
Ny tailor was most clever
And never pinched me in bit
To suit was his endeavOr.
I used to dine with men of mind;
With others who were funny;
And those who'd share with all mankind,
Their dinners and their money.
We talked of authors, old and new;
We criticised the critic;
We re-reviewed the last review,
And praised our friends 81 PriSmatics. "
We sometimes pledged u poets health,
In 0yeri0wing glasses -------
But ne'er-unlcss the maid had wealth
Would stOOp to pledge the lasscs.
We never mentioned love nor wife;
Nor dreamed of baby faces
Nor thought we'd find our paths in life
Strewn thick with bows and laceS.
We scarcely knew what marriage meant;
Knew naught of bills for bOnnets;
And thought the bills physicians sent
Were similar to sOnnets.
O found this trining error out,
While master Bob was creeping;
POr twas the Doctors bill, no doubt,
Which kept me nights from slceping)
We used to drink good liquor then;
And tell some clever stories;
We were, think, the best Of men,
And fresh as morning gl0ries.
We knew full well where lemons grew,
What sugars were the sweetest;
And how great bowls of punch to brew,
In just way the neatest.
We could strike up a lively air,
At proper times and places
Crambambuli," with "Swcet and Fair"
And Drink, ye solemn faces"
Champagne from cider we could tell
Esteemed glass of brandy
Nor called for water from the well,
If something else were handy.
No one e'er asked me where I'd been,
When late abroad tarricd;
Nor rose from bed to let me in
For then wasn't married.
bought q latch-key for my use-
Latch keys are great inventions
lgsve it up-I was GOOSE
To show my good intentions.
But things have changed since days of ycr
have wife to chide me;
A boy who tumbles on the floor,
And one sweet girl beside me.
] mark the hairs amidst my beard, a
Which Father Time is growing,
told my wife the gray appeared
Full ripe enough for moving.
A few brief years, perhaps, may pass,
Before Old Time comes reaping,.
Till then, I'd silly drain my glass,
And laugh instead of weeping.
] know my wild oats oil are sOwn;
Ny friendly comrades banished,,
And alas! am forced to own
Ny jOvial days are vanished.
The shadows lengthen in my path
The sunset is approaching;
While /, about the household hearth,
Some idle tales am broaching.
Perhaps, If should reach threescore-
Could death so long be parried-
might forget the days of yore,
And bless the day married.