Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1857-07-16
fatt, fm 4 fantg,

Every nation that has become great, has
had race of noble matrons. Roman moth
ers make Roman men.
- If you wish to know how quick you can
run mile, tell a red haired woman that her
baby squints.
This is a CRATE prospect as the prison.
er said when he peeped out of his cell win
dow.
Salvation was first purpose, then a
promise, then gift, at last glorious pos
session.
An advertisement lately appeared, head
ed "Iron bedsteads and bedding" We sup
pose the linen must be sheet-iron.
An English writer says the only day an
American devotes to "relaxation" is the day
he takes medicine.
- Struggle to leave thy sons we'll educated
rather than rich, for the hopes of the learn
ed are more valuable than the treasures of
the ignorant.
Never throwa stone at any one until you
have looked to see whether there is win
dow behind, or you may have to pay rather
dearly for your revenge.
-"Hilloa, there what's your hurry; where
are you going?" "Going? I'm running for
an Office" "What Officer" ''The Squire's
office; darn it, I'm sued"
"A down east editor advises his readers,
if they wish to get teeth inserted gratis, to
90 and steal fruit where his watchdog is on
guard.
- An Irishman, on being asked which was
the elder, he or his brother, replied: am
the oldest, but if my brother lives three years,
we shall both be of an age"
among all my boys" said an old man,
~ never had but one boy who took after
his father, and that was my son Aaron ne
took after me with club"
A Western paper states that horse and
wagon were drowned in the Ohio, last week.
They had hard time of it, especially the
wagon. ,
1t is said that bleeding partially blind
horse at the nose, will restore him to sight
so much for the horse. To open mans
eyes, you must bleed him at the pocket
"A lady up town cleared her house of
flies by putting honey on her husbands
whiskers when he was asleep. The flies stuck
fast and when he went out of the house ne
carried them off with him.
thames, now I will hear your lesson"
said a schoolmaster to little urchin, who
was not in the habit of studying much
"Gueth not, thir; daddy thaith little boys
should be theen and not heard.
"A missionary asked an Indian, "How
do you know there is a God?' Pointing to
footsteps IL the sand, the savage answered,
CHOW do YOU know that men have been
here?"
1t is said to have become the fashion of
runaway wives in Kentucky to take the hus-
bands bed with them. They have no idea
of exposing themselves to be advertised as
absconding from bed and board.
"A ragged individual was salutcd few
days since by little urchin, thus: 81 say,
you, sir, don't you belong to the army?"-
"Now was the indignant reply. "Well,"
said the boy, 81 thought that youdid, as you
are out under arms"
An old Revolutioner says, that Of all the
solemn hours he ever saw, that occupied in
going home one dark night from the widow
Bem's, after being told by her daughter Sal
ly that he "needn't come again." was the
most solemn"
At recent trial in Wisconsin, the sub
iect of controversy was demijohn of wbis-
kew, which was ordered to be brought into
court. The defendant was tried, and so was
the whiskey-in other words, the whiskey
was drunk and so was the jury.
The Erening Post tells of little boy,
who asked "Mamma, is a fortress a she
fort ?" This is equal to the literalist who
said that a woman was sometimes called
mistress to put stress on what had been a
miss.
"A minister, approaching a mischievous
urchin about twelve years old, and laying
his hand calmly upon his shoulder, thus ad-
dressed him: "My son, I believe the devil
has got hold of you" ri believe he has,
too," was the significant reply.
There is a young man in Ohio so attach
cd to the "Aame of his heart" that the mo-
ment she rises from seat, he falls down and
kisses it. For breast-pin, he wears one of
her old shoes set with brillants. That's the
kind of devotion that strikes in.
Stranger to a little boy-"Well, my lit
tie son, amt you LOST" Little boy, stepping
back and eyeing the stranger-"Look here,
mister, don't be so familiar, if you please, I
am not unprotected" laying his hand on a
revolver; "you must remember I ain gen.
tleman."
1t is said of old father Mabilon, who,
throughout his youth and earl manhood,
was noted for his stupidity, that at the age
Of twenty-six he pitched against staircase,
fractured his skull, was trepanned, and af-
terwards possessed luminous understand
ing. Perhaps other stupid fellows might as
we'll try the experiment. At any rate no
great harm could be done.
An old lady walked into an office of a
Indna of Prnhate- in Massachusetts. once