New Orleans daily crescent. [volume] ([New Orleans, La.]) 1851-1866, 1857-01-19
Clippings.

Clippings. ..-........-.
fAh my dear fellow said ain old man once to a
friend, am quite weak and broken down with age.
/ used to walk entirely around the park every day
but now l can walk only half way round and back
again.
A Frenchman, being troubled with the govt was
asked what difference there was between that and
the rheumatism.
Gone very great difference replied Monsieur :
suppose you take one vice, put re finger in, you
turn re screw till you can hear no lOngerzat is
rheumatism; den spose you give him one turn more
Eat is re govt
Peter Cunningham was once telling before Douglas
Jerrold of strange dish he had Just dined upon.
Such q dish nobody could guess it."
He, of course provoked the query, ''What was it?'
Calves tails" said Peter.
:" Extremes meet!' exclaimed Jerrold.
THE TURKISH SoLDrER-He marches to meet the
foe with the same nonchalance he smokes his pipe
He is taught from his birth that the mtment of his
death is fixed, and that whole charge of artillery
aimed at his heart would miss him if destiny had de-
will go straightway to paradise the moment of his
death with both these ideas he is so fully impressed
that danger moves him. and he lies on his death
bed as calmly as on bed for sleep.
Fish, to be kept perfectly fresh that it may be car
red long journeys in hot climates, should be dipped
into beeswaX, which acts as an air-tght covering.
This mode of preserving fish has been adopted with
entire success in transporting fish from northern to
southern Russia and even to Malta in the Mediterra-
mean. So long the air is excluded from them they
will keep an indefinite period of time. The wax can
readily he removed by washing in hot soft water.
railroad conductor having insulted lady passen-
ger, she said, Indignantly, that the company which
owned that road should not see another cent of her
money.
Glow SOL" said the conductor :" how can you
manageit?"
Hereafter replied the lady, instead of buying
ticket at the office, shall pay my fare to you :"
BooKs.-To divert at any time troublesome fancy,
run to thy books they presently fix thee to them
and drive the other out of thy thoughts. They always
receive thee with the same kindness.
By constant temperance, habtual moderate exer-
cse unaffected modesty, You will avoid the fees of
the lawyer, the claws Of the sheriff and the poison of
the doctor and probably add to your present exist
ence at least ten years of active lite
"Ma,n said a little urchin, peeping from beneath
the bed-cothes, 81 am cold want some cover on
the bed" Lie still, my dear said the mother,
until your sister comes from church she has got
the comforter for crinoline'
It has often been remarked that children will fire.
quently ask questions which the wisest ptlZ
zed to answer. Mother, exclaimed Charley, show
big was | when you was little girl?" Wasn't that
poser
A foinen young gentleman, turning swiftly on
his heel, ran his head against young lady. He in
IL
word" said the quick-witted maiden J." it isn't
hard enough to hurt anybody" The coxcomb frowned
and sloped
The action Of gaivansm in the earth upon iron and
steel, has been recently tested by eminent London
cutler Observing that steel seemed to be much I'M
proved when it had become eroded in the earth, he
made the experiment by burying razor-blades and
parcels Of iron in the EARTH where he let them re-
main undlstarbed for three years On removing them
he found that the steel in the razorblades had very
much improved, and that from the iron he procured
diiferen varieties of steel, from the most inferior to
the most unequaed quality. This conversion is at
tributed to the galEanism in the earth.
In the campaign of Al Henry Clay was the Wing
candidate. \ Liberty party man making speech
somewhere in New Hampshire, objected very strongly
to the gallant hentuckan the ground of his being
dnelst. This done, he began to glorily his own
party small in numbers, but destined to achieve,
great things lie compared it to David going forth
with sling and stones to combat with the gigantic
Goliath Ping the eloquence, he reached the eli
max at last, and cried out And then and then
fellow-citizcns, what did David do?" gift & duel
sir, came in shrl tones from one of the assembly
Come here, my little Eddy said gentleman to
youngster OF seven years OF age, while sitting in
the parlor where large company was assembled
:. do you know me?" Yes, sir, think do
Who am I? let me hear" /" You are the man who
kissed sister Angelina list night in the parlor." An
geline tainted
There is man out West so forgetful of faces, that
his wife is compelled to keep wafer stuck on the
end of her nose that he may distinguish her from
other ladies' but this does not prevent him from max
ing occasional mistakes.
The fellow who damned up the Mississippi with a
chip, has been sent for to cure the cancer at the
tropic.
HAD HIM THERE" You say, Mr.. Jaycox, that
you saw the plaintiff leave the house. Was it in
haste ~
Yes, sir"
g" Do you know what caused that haSte?"
I'm not quite certain-but | think it was Mr.
Stubs boot, the gentleman he boards with,
g That will do, Mr. Jaycox. Clerk, Call the next
Witness
An editor in Arkansas was lately shot in an ARRAY
Luckily the ball came against bundle of unpaid ac-
counts in his pocket. Gunpowder could not get
through that.