Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1857-06-17
sUT LOvENGO GOoD,s SHIRT.
BY 81, OF TENNESSEE.

BY 81, OF TENNESSEE
The first one met was Sut.' latter cross
ing the Hiwasseel weaving along'' in his
usual rambling, uncertain gait His appear
ance AZ once satisfied me that something was
wrong lie had been sick, whipped in a free
1Sht; or was just out-growing one of his big
Irunks But upon this point / was soon en-
lightened.
Why, Sut, what's wrong now?''
heaps wrong; durn my skin eff hain' I
most dead. Lite of on that ar hOss George
an take horn while take two Shaking that
eEellasuns eve mask OF his at me,) an plant yer
SeI on that ar log, an I'll tell We eff / ken
out lts most beyOnt tellin. / reackOn I'm
the darndcst fool out en- Ttaw, cent NV dad
Tor he acs led hOss, an / haint dun that vet
alters in sum trap that cudent kech a sheep
IL drown myself sum day. see eff l don't, lust
ON themselves"
How Is 1t, Sut, have You been beat PLAYING
cards, or drinking which is it7''
Nara one; that can't be did in these parts:
out seem IT'S you, George, I'll tell you; but
SWsT IN shamed-sick-sOrry, and-and-
lnsd, aIn.
fOu know boards with Bill Carr. Mt his
cap'n on the mountain, an pays fur sich es
6ets when hev money, an when hevent eny,
why he takes One-third owe it Outen me in cuss-
IN; an she, that's his wife Belts. takes out
tother twO-thirds with the battlin' stick. and
lntruSts
more the prlnclp'l-heap more. She's the
cusSedest oman l ever seed eny how fur Jaw.
breedln.' and pride. She can scold blister
unto bulls face rite on the curl in two min
Its She out-breeds ev'rything on the ruver
an Pattrens arter ev'ry faShun she hears
tell on, from bussilS TO briches Oh she's one
OF EN-, and sometimes she's two or three Well
ye see, L d got sum homemade cotton truck to
make new shut Outen, and cOaXed Belts tn
make II, and about the time it wur dun, here
comes Lawyer johnson along an axed for
breakfus-I wish it had pizened him, durn his
hled, an L wonder il didn't, fur she cooks aw-
ful mlxens when she trys. I'm pizen proof
myself, (hOlding up his flask and peeping
through it, ur I'd been ded long ago
Wen, while be wur Il eatin', she spied out
that his shut was stiff an nifty slick so she
never rested till she worm Il il Outen him that
a preparation owe -four did it, an she got
few perticulers about the proceedings to, Outen
him by Omans art-I don't know how she did
1T, perhaps he does. Arter be left she sot in
an billed big pot Ove paste, high on to 6 peck
owe 1t, an sOuzed in my shut an let it soak
awhile; then she tuck it an ironed it out Hat
an dry, an sOt 1t up on its aidge again the
cabin in the sun. Thar it stool as stiff as a
dry hOss hide, an it ratified like a sheet owe
iron. 1T did. 1t wur pasted tugether all over
When L cum tn dinner, nuthin' wud du but l
must put 1t on. Well, Belts an me got the
thing open arter sum hard work. she pullin' at
into IL. Durn the everlastin' new tangled shut
say. / felt like I'd crawled inter an old bee
gum an fit full of pisants; but it wur like
Lawyer JOhnSOnS, :, an | stud il like a man,
an went tn work tn build Belts a ash-hopper
worked powerful hard an swet like hoss
IN when the shut got wet ii quit its hurtin'
Arter got dun, tuck about four fingers owe
red head, an crawled up into the cabin loft tu
take a snuse.
= Well, when walked up thot was ded.
or had the chOlery, for all the jints / cud muve
were my ankles, writs and knees-cudnt even
muvs my head an skasely wink my eyes-the
cussed shut wur pasted fast onto me all over
from the pint owe the tails tn the pint Of the
brOdd-ax collars over my years. 1t sot me clOst
poor COW dus hide in March / squirm'd
an strained till / got it sorter broke at the
shoulders and elbows an then dun the durn-
dest fool thing ever did in these mountains.
shufaed my britches of and tore lose frum nv
hide about two inches owe the tail all round in
much pain and tribulatiOn. Oh, but it did
hurt. Then tuck up a plank outen the loft
and hung my legs down thru the hole an nailed
the aidge owe the frunt tail to the aidgc of the
floor before the hind tail / nailed to the
plank what set on 1 Onbuttoned the collar
and ristbands, raised my hands way up abuv
my he'd shut up my eyes, said grace. an jumpt
thru to the grOun floor.
Here Sut ruminated sadly.
George, I'm durnder fool than ever dad
self sum owe these days, see eff / don't
Well, 60 ON, Sut, did this shirt come OFF,
'I-t-k-i-n-k-it-d 1 hearn a
noise sOrter like tarin shingle ruff owe house,
all at Onst, an felt like my CUTS an bones wur
all that reached the fure. / staggered tn my
feet an tuck look up at the shut. The nails
had all hilt thar holt. and thar il wur hangin'
arms down, inside out, an as stiff as ever II
looked like map owe Mexico jist arter one owe
the wurst battles-a patch of my hide about
the size owe a dollar an a half bill here 4; a
bunch of my har about the size owe birds
nest thar: then sum more skin then sum paste
then little more har then heap owe skin
then more har; then skin; an 50 on all over
that burned new-fangled, everlastin Internal
cuss Of a shut. 1t wur picture to look at
an 50 wur /. The hide, har, an paste wur
about ekeally divided ateen me an hit. Won
der what Belts, durn her, tho't when she cum
hum an fOun me missin' Specks she thinks
4 cravled intu the thicket an died owe nv
wounds. II must ay skared her good, fur |
tell you il looked like the skin owe sum wild
beast torn of alive, or n bag what had kerried
load owe fresh beef from a shOotini match
Now, George, ef ever ketch that Lawyer
Johnston out I'll shoot him. an eff ever any
oman talks about iat'nin' shut fur me agin' ,
darn my eyerlastln picture ef don't fatten
her Its rit-ributiOn sartin, the biggest kind
owe preachers regular rit-ributiOn Du YOU
mind my drivin' owe dad throu' that no nets
nest. an then racin' owe him inter the kreek ,''
Yes"
Well, this is what comes owe it. Ill drown
myself sum owe these days. see eff don't ef
don't die from that arful shut Take horn
and don't you ever try a sticky shut long as
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STRAWBERRIES.