Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1857-08-24
A BUMPOLOGY STORY.

One morning travelling phrenologist arrived
at hotel in Erie and took lodgings. The next
day, in the village newspaper appeared an ad-
vertisement stating that Prof B-had arrived
in Erie, Pa, and would make, for compen-
sation," examination Of the heads of citizens,
and accompany the same with accurate and re-
liable charts of characters. For two or three
days the calls were scarce, but on the fifth there
was a rush of five or six to the apartments of the
Professor. One morning q countryman entered
the inn were the phrenologist had his rooms, and
said to the landlord:
lis this the place where the phrenologist
holds OUT who can tell mans character by
the bumps on his skull?''
"Yes," replied Boniface, with q reserved and
dignifed air.
!" Wal, I want my potato-trap looked into a
little. Where's the man?''
-. am the man" said the landlord.
"Oh, you be, eh? Wal, put in, feel o. my
die ?'' W WV '"'
:" There is no swindle, sir. Phrenology is a
science, sir.'' e..
"Oh, yes-e1pect So but what's the price
for feelin' fellers head?"
"One dollar, with chart"
L" Wal, go it; what do du lie down or sit
up? Does it hurt9'
mot in the least my dear sir. Take your
seat in this chair"
There were four or five morning loungers in
the tavern, who checked a laugh as the country
man took his seat, having first, as requested, re-
moved his coat, vest and neck k-cloth. The wag
Of a landlord run his hands through the hair Of
the patient moment, and then turning to the
barkeeper, said:
" Mr.. Flipkins, take sheet of paper and draw
four lines down its whole length, and put my
figures under the head mention to you"
1t was done.
Have you got it,"
eyes, all right"
Every we'll"
ton, which was rougher perhaps than there was
any necessity for
Put down PhIloprogenitiveness, siaty."
Down, sir"
Very well Reverence, tvo.''
"BOoked, SIR
COmbativeness ttpo hundred''
whats that 2'i said the victim.
:. No matter, sir; you II see iton the chart
Caution, one"
"Credulity, four hundrea"
What's the last bump" asked the patient.
Never mind now, you'l understand it by
and-by. And now, Ito the bar-keeper,) Mr..
Flipkins. you've put these in separate columns,
as usual?''
eyes, Sir"
very well-add 'em up"
gical subject. Is this the way you do3"
'Of c-o-u-r-s-e how else could we get your
balance of mind-of intellect'''
Wal, go ahead"
=" How does it Da5oH, Mr. Flipkins?' ?''
The three columns are equal-they foot up
precisely the same''
The landlord looked solemnly and sympathiz.
ingly towards his subject.
1t Is strange," said he, % but it is so. Phre-
nology never lies. You have no predominant
character, sir; you have no intellectual status :;
you don t know anything, sir. Excuse me. sir.
but must state the truth whether YOU take
the chart or not but if there is any truth in
phrenology, you are fool Under the circum
stances, sir, can scarcely expect YOU to keen
the chart you have contracted for that is a mat
ter OF small consequence, as it will be a yalua-
Die Illustration of unique species, which can
use In all my lectures hereafter authenticate
all my lectures, sir, with real names and res
!denees. The charge of deception in science,
Is one which was never brought against me, and
never will be, sr-never."
"Oh, never mind; give us the map" said the
subject; here's the swlndle for I'd rather paw
It than have you going around the country max
ing fool of me everywhere else as YOU have
here. you blasted philogenitive humbug you ~
with this explosion, the subject retired