The Cadiz Democratic sentinel. [volume] (Cadiz, Ohio) 1854-1864, 1857-03-25
ENCOUNTERS GRIM
DEATH.
HE HAS TIE SMALL Pox.

DO you want 10 know why i've been absent
from your columns for couple Of weeks ?-Pve
been sck-Grim Death has been around-he
called and sat down face to face with me, said
that he had come for DOesticIIs, and that I'd
better make my WILL say good bye to my friends,
and mention that / shouldn't be back again--I
argued the matter with old dry bones for three
days and two nights--he speared me number
of times with his dart" but always lodged
So you see that from words we came to blows.
Ny opinion is that he showed himself no gentle
man in pitching into q sick man however, tie
doctor backed me manfully. Death grappled
me by the head, but backed him down with
leeches; then he dropped his hold and seized
me by my bowels Fred at him in this posi-
ton with two ounce walls Of stuff that don't
know the name Of but which smelled like a
boiled down livery stable. Bring dislodged from
my Intervals, he caught me by the ribs, where
l burnt his fingers witha mustard blister, when
he gave me up as bad subject for an obituary
experiment, and prepared to go. As he sneak
ed out, he grinned, and said l need not feel so
grand, for I wouldn't make decent looking
corpse any howl looked viciously at him, and
was able to put my thumb to the end ofmy nose,
but my strength gave out before could wag my
fingers, so that fear old Death left me with
wrong impression of my sentiments
Ny sickness came thus-there was fire in a
row of tenement houses, and my dear friend
Miss Miggs stood where she could watch the pro-
gress of the flames; some one cried out there
was child in the burning house-felt like a Re-
70 in the presence of Miss Miggs, perish in the
attempt before Miss Mggs. Dashing up a lad
der in full sight of Miss Miggs, making mis-
step and taking the skin off my shin as prima-
mary move, didn't mind it at all, what were
shins when Miss Miggs was looking on Got
into the house heard The child squall, couldn't
see for the smoke tried to find 1T in the dark,
walked over the stove, and overturned kettle
Of boiling water into my boots, breathed smoke
enough to set up small volcano in business
and at last reached the bed and took hold of the
squaller, wasn't veryparticular how took hold
and am now convinced that l carried it by one
leg, head downward, all over the upper stories of
the whole block in my search for the window
where the ladder was, discovered it and tore
one leg ofmy pantaloons entirely off on the iron
hook with which it was decorated, got down,
turned the baby right side up, and delivered it
in good condition to its mother, who sent up
genuine "Irish ~howss@ and instantly gave me
particular ts'' for bringing her baby out of doors
without rappng it up warm, for as she then in
formed me it had had the smallpox six days
and she was afraid it would "strike in" Imy-
self felt very much disposed to "strike out, but
my anger vanished as thought of Miss Mggs,
heroic look of my pantaloons, and reErained,
bowed to her, however, which she didn't sec,
and then was on the instant tipped over into the
mud by the foreman Of hose So, who at the same
time volunteered his kind advice to mind where
your look 'in," this she did see, and evidently
thought it was funny.
Went to bel and dreamed exclusively Of Irish
babies-thought was large plantation Of ba-
bies, set out in regular rows like cabbages, that
they were all growing vigorously, tried to get
out but innumerable Celtic offspring sprouted
beneath my feet, and my legs were tangled in
their tender embraces. Finally struggled to
the end of the field, when found that it was
hedgcd in with screaming babies, fourteen feet
deep, all alive, all Irish and all with the double
| 1. III
to go into babies, they budded out all over me and
woke just as each leg had blossomed into a
pug nosed boy, and two pairs of red headed
twins had sprouted out between my shoulders,
Found was sick-doctor came and told me
what allied me. Small -pox is an interesting dis
ease regarded from a pathological point OF view
by physician in good health but contempla-
ted practically by a aat-on-his back patient,
the study is not so entertaining.
The various members Of my body corporate
undertook for moment series of unusual and
curious performances on their own hook
Those slippery portions Of my anatomy designa-
ted as my bowels, commenced number Of
complicated maneuvres with great vigor some
what as if they were practising q new ballet Of
wonderful combination, requiring q vast deal Of
ground and lofty tumbling, or were rehearsing a
4 Christmas pantomime, and jumping through a
surprising number Of trap doors, they didn't stop
until they had tied themselves into a-hard knot
and tucked both ends under. consoled my
seH, however, by hoping that the Irish baby
Igotits infant bowels into greater tangle and
into harder knots than even mine.
II Then, some kind Of naval engagement com
menced in my head, and succession Of broad
sides at the rate of TEN to minute, was fired IN
side Of my unfortunate skull for thirty hours, the
whole of which time | was. only comforted by
the sincere wish that the aMilesian young one
had got moro of it than had and wouldn't be
able to stand it halfso we'll. The effect Of the
internal cannonade upon my temper was sooth-
ling--so much SO, that when my. friends yentur-
ed to enquire after my health, they approached
in detachments, it not being safe for less than
three men in a8body I'd dare to ask me ques-
ton. Ihave it in the true martyr-spirit, sooth-
led by the Christian trust that the Irish baby
had tendercr ribs than mine, and blessing my
self that in the case it had a prospect Of imnic-
Idiate Purgatory, Then began 70 shiver got 50
cold that my feetimmediately foza the hot wa
ter they put them into, and a thermometer put
into my mouth went down to A degrees below
zero. felt much better as soon as persuaded
myself to believe that that Celtic brat was fro
zen stiff as aramrod, and couldn't be thawed out