The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1857-04-29
MISCELLANEOUS.
John Phoenix En- Route for New
Orleans.

published in the April number of the
Knicker booker, describes his trip from
Boston and New Orleans. The letter
is irresstibly comic of course, but we
can only give our readers a tasto Of its
quality aud contents He says:
"On the fifth of January, at eight A.
NJ left the fremont House in hack.
ney carriage, the wheels whereof had
turned into runners. This method of
progression, rendered necessary by the
deep SHOWS. is considered a great amusc-
ment at the North. Being particularly
dangerous to life and limb, and usually
terminating in pulmonary consumption,
the pastime is very properly called
sleighipg"
There is sharp satire in the follow.
ing senteuce, which will readily oppro.
ciated by railroad Travellers
On entering railroad car the rst
object Of tho solitary traveller should be
to procure an entire seat to h imself.-
This may generally be done successfully
by taking the outside seat and skilfully
disposing small carpet bag, great coat,
umbrella and cane, so as to cover the
inner one. AS the passengers throng in.
to the car, many will gaz, earnestly at
the place thus occupied, but will usually
prefer to mvvc on rather than give you
trouble; but if the car is quite filled, the
question will undoubtedly be asked, Is
that seat taken, sir :? when you should
rep)y,with an imperturbable countenance,
is, sir + and the inquirer, with perhaps
q slight glance of suspicion, will move
on. AS mans object should be to make
himself as comfortable as possible in this
world, that his mind may be in proper
frame to prepare for the next, slight
deviation from truth for the purpose of
securing this object, like the above is
quite pardonable."
Moralizing upon the nuisances which
infest the cars-the small boy with the
newspapers-tho dirty boy with his pop.
corn-the big boy with his fearful ap.
ples-and the well-knowu and ndcfati-
gablo wretch with the 'iozcngers'-John
Phoenix says the boy with the accordion
has not yet got SO far North. 1t was
but the week before that he met him on
the Philadelphia cars;
" 1t was after eleven o'clock the train
had passed New Brunswick, and tho pas.
sengers were trying to sleep, (ha ha y
when the boy entered He was a sccdy
youth with seal.skin cap, a singularly
dirty face, gray jacket Of the vcntilat.
ing order, and short but remarkably
broad pair of corduroy corluroys' Ho
wore an enormous bag Of haversack about
his neck, and bore in his hand that most
internal and detestable instrument, an
accordeon. | dospisc that instrument
of music. They pull the music out of it,
and it comes forth struggling and reluc'
tant, like cat drawn by the tail from an
ash.hole, or a squirrel pulled shrieking
from a hollow log with q ramrod This
uDpriDcipled boy commenced pulling q.
his thing, and horrifed us with the most
awful version of that wretched Dog
Tray that ever listened to. Then be
walked round the Car aud collected for.
ty.two cents. Then he returned to the
centre Of the car, and standing close TO
the stove, which was red hot-the night
being cold-he essaycd to pull out Pop
Goes tho Weasel when suddenly pop
went the boy; he dropped tho ACCORDION,
burst into tears, and clappiug his hands
behind him, executed a frantic dance,
accompanied by yells of the most agoniz.
ing character. l saw it ALL and felt
grateful to a retributive Providence
He had stood too near to the stovo. and
his corduroys were in light blaze a
few inches below the termination of tho
! gray jacket was the seat Of bis wo Af
ter he got on fire the conductor put him
out, and a sweet and iueifable calm came
over me. realized that whatever is,
is right, aud | fell into deep and hap
py sleep"
Passing over his account of the stop
at Albany, the journey to Buffalo where
he saw nothing but railroad depot, bat
concluded that if The cold continued the
Buffalo girls couldn't come out tonight,
we are introduced to another model rail
road traveller in the following paragraph !;
GAN Gay and night VIC ground along,
tripping and staviDg,' We passed through
Columbus where the people had been
having a grand ball to celebrate the com
pletion Of their State Capitol, and pick.
ed up three hundred and eighty four sur.
yiyors, each Of whom contained pint
and half of undiluted whiskey. Aud
so in the morning We came to Cincinnati,
where for fifteen minutes we tarried al