Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1857-11-28
OAN
GDumor0Ns.
Tho Trick I Played urcn my Wife

Tho Trick I Played wren my Wife
and Aunt.
! had an aunt coming to visit me, for the
| first time since my marriage, and / don't
know what evil genius prompted the wicked.
ness Il acknowledge with tears in my eyes
that it was such which | pertrated towards
| my wife and my ancient relative.
My dear SAID sonny wife, OF he Ga-
before my aunts arrival, lyon knew aunt
Mary is coming tomorrow we'll, / forgot TO
mention a rather annoying circumstance with
regard to her. She's very deaf, and although
she can't hear my voice, to which size is ac.
customed, in its ordinary tones, yet yon will
be obliged TO speak extremely loud in order
to be heard. 1t will be rather iuconvenCnt,
but know you vi! dot verifying in you pow
er 10 mike her stay agreeable"
| Mrs. 5. apnounced her determination to
make herself heard..i possbl,
] theu-veut 10 JOhn Thomas who loves
! Joke as well as any rcr.on know Of, told,
! him to be at my house at p. NJ, on the
following evening, and felt comparatively
happy
went to The railroad station with 9car.
riage the next evening, and when was on
my way home with my aunt, said, My dear
aunt, there is one rather annoying ntirmty
that Amelia has, which ! forgot 10 mention
before. She's very deaf and although she
hear my voice, TO which she is accustomed in
lis ordinary tones, yet you will be obliged to
speak extremely loul in order 20 ts heard.
I'm sorry for it,
Aunt Mary, n The goodness Of the heart.
protested that she rather liked speaking loud
and to do so would give her great pleasure
The carriage drove UPON the steps was
my wile-at the window was John Thomas,
wilh cacc rs rttarlr s4lau.n &c # he bad
buried ell his relatives that afternoon.
! handed cut my aunt-she Gscended the
steps,
Il am delighted 10 see YOU" shrslcd my
wife, and the policeman on the other eide Of
the street started, and my aunt nearly fell
down the steps.
kiss me, my dear" Lowled my aunt; aud
the hall lamp clattered and tho windows
shook as with fever and ague. looked at
the window--J ohm had disappeared. Human
nature could stand it Eo longer. poked
my head into the carriage, and went into
, strong commissions.
; When / entered the par.or, ny vile was
7 helping aunt Mary TO take Of her bonnet
and Grape, aid there set John with face c!
woe.
/ Suddenly, Did you have pleasant jour.
npy?' went of my wife Ike pistol, and
) ohm Thomas jumped TO his feet.
! Rather dusty" was tue response, in
warhoop and so the conversation continued.
! The neiGhbors for streets around must have
/ heard it when | was in the third story Of
the building, heard every word plainly.
/ Ia the course of the evening, my aunt took
occasion to say to me, Glow loud your wife
! speaks Don't it hurt herr"
/ told her all deaf persons talked loudly,
and that my wife being used to it, was not
affected by the oZertion, aud that Aunt Ma
. ry was getting along very nicely with her
/ Presently my wife said softly, An, Low
very loudly your aunt talks!'
Yes" said /, "aIl deaf persons do. You're
getting along with her finely; she hears
every word you say" And | rather think
she did.
/ Elatod by their success at being under
stood, they went at it hammer and ton:s, till
everything on the mantle piece clattering
egain, and | was seriously afraid Of crowd
collecting in front Of the house.
/ Blu; ihe end was near My sunt heing Of
an investigating turn Of mind. was desiruus
OF finding out whether the eXertipn Of talking
so loud was not injurious to my wife. so
said she. iu an uDearthly boot for her voice
was not so musjcal as il was when she was
young. Doesn't talking loud strain yalr
lunEs?"
/ ut is Gu eScrtioa,' shrieked my vie.
Then why do you do i g was The answer
| ing scream.
"Rscause--boCause-yO cant bear II I
doa't," squealed my wife,
"What'w said my aunt, fairly riya.iug a
( railroad whistle this tl@e.
/ began to think IT time 10 orgcUate tie
| premises; and looking round ani seeiug ) Ohm
gone, | stepped into the back rarlor, and
! there lie lay fiat on his back, with his feet at
a hight aael. 20 his body, rolling iroM side
to side with lis fists poked into his ribs, and
most agouiziug expression Of oouatenauce,
but not utLerug sound.-i Immediately
aud involuntarily assumed similar att!,lae
aud 1 think, thai frou tie relative position
Of cur boots and heads, and oar altemPys to
restrain our laughter, apopleAy must have
ensued, il G horrible grOan which John gave
vent to in Lis en2eayOr TO reprcss his T.s!bsl.
ity had not betrayed our hiding place.
In rushed my wife and my aunt, Who by
this time compreheadod the joke, and such
scolding as then got ] never got before.
and hope never TO get again,
] know not what the end would have been
If John, in his endeayors to appear respectful
and sympathetic, had not given vent 20 such
q diabolical noise, something between groan /
and Lorse-augh, that all gravity wos upset |
aud We screamed in concert.