The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1857-02-04
From dc ". Y PicGyqne.
Doesticks Encounters Grim Death,

| IRON He ". \. PicGyune.
Doesticks Encounters Grim Death.
Do you want to know why I've been
absent from your columns for couple
of weeks 2-Ive been sick-Grim Death
! has been around-..c ca lisa. and sat down
face to face with me, said that he had
come for Docstcks, and that | had bet
ter mako my will, say Good Bye TO my
friends, and mention tha, shouldn't be
! back
My sickness came thus-thcre was a
fire in row of tenement houses, and my
dear friend. Miss Miggs, stood where
sho could watch tho progross of the
flames-some one cried out that there
was child in the burning house--felt
like hero in the presence Of Miss
Miggs-rcsolved to save the child in the
presence of Miss Miggs or perish in the
attempt before Miss Miges. Dashed up
ladder in full sight of Miss Miges, max
ing mis- step and taking the skin off my
shin as preliminary move-didu't mind
it at all-what was shins when Miss
Miggs was looking on | Got into the
house--heard the child squall-couldp't
SCG IL IOT tuc eulOkc-bTltu W IlIu ~ III
the dark-walked over the stove and
overturned kettle of boiling water into
my boots-breathed smoke enough to set
small volcano up in business, and at
last reached the bed and caught hold of
the squallsr-wasu't very particular ho,o
| took hold, and am now convinced that
carried it out by one leg head down
ward, all over the upper stories of the
whole block in my search for the window
where the ladder was discovered it at
last, and tore one leg of my pantaloons
entirely off on the iron hook with which
it was dccorated--got down, turned tho
baby right side up and delivered it in
good condition to its mother, who set up
a genuine Irish howl, and instantly be-
gan to give me particular fits" for
bringing her baby out doors without
wrapping it up warm, for, as she then
Informed me it had had the small pox
for six days, aud sho was afraid it would
''strike in." l. myself, felt very much
disposed to "strike out" but may anger
vanished as l thought of Miss Miggs-
started to 90 and see her-remcmbered
the unheroic look of my pautaloous, and
refraiued-bowed to her, however, which
she didn't see. and then was on the in-
stant tipped over into tho mud by tho
foreman Of Hose SO, who at the same
time volunteered bis kind advice to
"mind where YOUR lookin'." '."-thiS she
did see, and evidently thought it funny
Wont to bed, and dreamed exclusive.
ly of Irish babies thought that was
in large plantation of babies, set out in
regular rows like cabbages--they were
all growing vigorously tried to get out,
but innumerable Celtic offspring sprout.
ed under my feet. and my legs were
tangled in their tender embraces--fnal.
ly, | struggled to the end of the field,
when | found that it was hcdged in with
screaming babies fourteen deep, all alive,
all Irish, and all with double-headed
smallpox. Then my own body began
to change into babies--they budded out
all over me, and | awoke just as each leg
had blossomod into a pug,nosed boy and
two pairs of red-head twins had sprout.
ed out between my shoulders.
Found | was sick--Doctor came and
told me what allied me- Smallpox is
an interesting disease regarded from a
pathological poin. Of view by physi.
clan in good health but contemplated
practically by hat.on-his.back patient,
the study is not so entertaining.
Hero Doosticks gives history of the
progress of the disease, and the medicines
used, sc, aud closes his letter as follows:
My head was now as big as peach.
basket, and my nose reminded me of a
huge nutmeg.greater--in two days more
| resombled a clossal statue cut ont of
sausage meat, and now although l am
nearly recovered.m body looks as though
| had fought, single-handed, severe
battle with an immense army of indus
trious feas.
But there wasn't smallpox enough to
finish me, (although sincerely hope that
with that blessed infant the case was
otherwise,) and accordingly, after. fair |
trial, it backed down, whipped institu.
tion, leaving the subscriber with few
little holes in his face as mementoes Of |
the combat which marks the undersign-
ed proposes to either cover up with whis.
kers, or H.. inn ~ ~ IN 81 "a |
susp,c.Iis aJt.u 40 sJuIe kind vi origin
al dimples. Streakedly:
Q X. PHiLANDER DoEsTIcKs. p. j.
p. S--TLe fire reporter made mis-
take, and instead Of my name, printed
" Jenkins as the "heroio preserver of
the helpless infant" Miss Miggs believes
it, and smiles on jenkins He gets all
the honor, and l got, among other triaes,
the smallpox
p. p. S.--I hope tho child has entire
ly recovered bless its dear little heart
How TO PUT OUT CIGAR.-An ele-
gantly dressed lady recently entered a