The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1857-08-20

HIS 41auc tHItS W oASs
And her father assures me, each time she was there
That she and her friend, Mrs Harris,
Net the lady whose name is so famous In history,
But plain Mrs H., without romance or mysteiy)
Spent six consecutive weeks without stopping,
In one continuous round Of shopping;
Shopping alone and shopping together,
Al AL hours of the day, and in all sorts Of weather;
For oil manner of things that Q woman can put
Or wrap, round her shoulders, or fit round her waist,
Or thst can he sewed on, or pinned on, or laced,
Or tieo on with q string, or stitched on with o bow,
In front or behind, above or below:
For bonnets, m~antillas, caps. collars and shawls;
Dresses for breakfast, and dinners, and balls,
Dresses TO sit in, and stand in, and walk in;
Dresses 20 dance in, and hirt in, and talk in;
Dresses ia which to do nothing at all;
Dresses for -winter, spring, summer and fall;
All of them different in color and pattern,
Silk, muslin and lace, Grape, velvet and satin,
Brocsde, and broadcloth, and other material,
Quite as expensive, and much more ethereal,
In short for all things that could ever be thought of,
Or mlllIner, n0dLste, or tradesman be bought OF,
From ten-thousand- francs robes to txenty-sous
friils;
In all quarters of Paris, and every store,
While M'Flimsey in vain stormed, scolded, and
The footed the streets, and he footed the bills.
SHIPPING.
The last trip, their goods shipped by the steamer
Argo,
Formed, M'Flimsey declared, the bulk of her cargo,
ND
Sufficient to fill the largest sized chest,
Which did not appear on the ships manifest,
But for which the ladies themselves manifested
Such particular interest, that they invested
Their own proper persons in layers and rows
OF muslins, embroideries, worked underclothes,
Gloves, handkerchief, scarfs and such trihes as
those;
Then, wrapped in great shawls, like Circassian beau
ties,
Gave good-5y to the ship, and go-5y to the duties,
Her relations at home all marveled no doubt,
Miss Flora had grown so enormously stout
For an actual belle and a possible bride;
But the miracle ceased when she turned inside out,
And the truth came to light, and the dry goods
beside,
Which. in spite of Collector and Custom-house SEN
try,
Had entered the port without any entry.
SHOCKING DESTRUCTION.
And yet. though scarce three months have passed
since the day
This merchandise went, on twelve carts, up Broad
way,
This same Miss M'Flimsey, of Madison Square,
The last time We met, was in utter despair,
Because she had nothing whatever TO wear
NOTHING TO WEAR Now, as this Is a true ditty,
L do not assert-this, you know, is between US
That she's in n state of absolute nudity,
Like Powers Greek Slave, or the Medici Venus;
But l do mean to say, 1 have heard her declare,
When, at the same moment, she had en- a dress
Which cost five hundred dollars, and not q cent
less,
Ii anu every worm ten tunes more, L should guess,
That she had not a thing in the wide world to wear
"DovE's YOUNG DREAM"
I should mention just here, that out of Miss Flora's
Two hundred and fifty or sixty adorers,
l had just been selected as he who should throw all
The rest in the shade, by the gracious bestowal
On myself, after twenty or thirty retctions,
or those fossil remains which she called cher afec-
tions,'
And that rather decayed, but weIl-known work of
wb;-b Hr;ss EIo-a rars;s+ad in stvI;nr oba- hao-x ,,
So we were engaged Our troth had been plighted
Not by moonbeam or starbeam, by fountain or
grove,
But in a front parlor, most brilliantly lighted,
Beneath the gas-6xtures we whispered our love,
Without any romance or raptures, or signs,
Without any tears in Miss Flora's blue eyes,
Or blushes, or transports, or such silly actions,
II was one of the quietest business transactions,
And q very large diamond imported by Tiffany.
"a MICE ARRANGEMENT"
On her virginia. lips while L printed a kiss,
She exclaimed, as a sort Of parenthesis,
you know, I'm to polka as much as 1 please,
And hirt when L hke-now stop, don't you speak,
And you must not come here more than twice in the
week,
Or talk to me either at party or ball,
But always be ready to come when l call;
:, don't pruse to me about duty and stuff,
IL We don't break this of, there will be time enough
For that sort Of thing; but the bargin must be
That, as long as I choose, 1 am perfectly free,
For this is a sort of engagement, you see,
Which is binding on you but not binding on me-"
NOTHING TO WEAR
Well, having wooed Miss M'Flimsey and gained her,
With the silks, cr;nolines, and the hoops that con-
tanned her,
I had, as I thought, a contingent remainder
At least in the property, and the best right
To appear as its escort by day and by night;
And it being the week of the STUCKUP's grand ball
Their cards had been out q fortnight or so,
And set all the Avenue on the tip-toe-
considered it only my duty to call,
An see if Miss Flora intended to 60,
I found her-as ladies are apt to DE found,
When the tine intervening between the first sound
OF the bell and the visitors entry is shorter
Than usual found, wont say-I caught her
Intent on the pier-glass, undoubtedly meaning "
To see If perhaps it didn't need cleaning.
She turned as I Why, Harry, You sinner,
l thought that you went to the Flashers' to dinner 20
$50 I did, 1 replied, s but the dinner is swallowed,
And digested, 1 trust, for tits now nine and more,
So being relieved from that duty, L followed
Inclination. which led me, you see, to your door,
And now will your lad yship so condescend
As Just to inform me If you intend
Your beauty and grsces, and presence to lend,
CAN which, when I own, / hope ne one will borrow
To the srucKUP's, whose party, you know, is 4 o-mor-
row."
The fair Flora looked up with a pitiful air,
and answered quite promptly, why, Harry, mon
I should like above all things to go with you there;
But really and truly-I've nothing to wear"
Nothing to wear go Just as you are;
Wear the dress you have on, and you'll be by far.
engage, the most bright and particular star
or the Stuckup horizon"I stopped, for her eye,
Notwithstanding this delicate onset of fattery,
Opened on me at once q most terrible battery
% scorn and amazement- She made no reply,
But gave . slight turn to the end of her nose,
Chat puxs Grecian feature,) as much rs to say,
How absurd that any sane man should suppose
That y lady would 60 to a ball In the clothes,
No matter how fine, that she wears every day.'
SUGGESTIONS
So L venturcd again Wear your crimson bro
cade."
Second turn up of nose)-" That's too dark by a
shade"
.sYour blue sifk''-"T That's too heayy;, ssYour
ink That's too light"
Wear tulle over satin''-"I can't endure white"
Your rose-colorsd, then, the best Of the BATCH
II haven't . thread of point lace to match"
Your brown moirs antiqus-"Yes, and look lk'
aQuaker;"
The pearLcolored"!"I would, but that plagur,