Mineral Point tribune. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1854-1858, 1857-08-18
u arlEtn.

eZ Never break your neck to bow to sweet
sixteen with hounced dress, who is ashamed
of her old fashioned mother or to a strutting
collegiate who is Mortified at his grandmother's
bad grammar
sE A young British officer who was mutt
lated aud dlsi1ured In battle requested a COM
rade to write to his betrothed in England, and
release her from the bridal engagement Her
answer was worthy of true woman: -" Tell
him that if there is enough of his BODY left to
contain his soul shall hold him to his engage
ment."
u God made both tears and laughter, and
both for kind purposes for laughter enables
us to breathe freely, SO tears enable sorrow to
vent itself patiently. Tears hinder grief from
becoming despair aud madness, and laughter
IS one OF the very privileges of reason, being
conhued TO the human species.
cE Two young Irrshn,en happened to get
into affrav, in which one of them was knock
ed down. His comrade ran to him, and cried
out: "Zounds, Dennis, if you be dead can't
ye spake q : a not dead but spachless," said
the other
When you sec 4 small waist, think how
/ great the waste of health it represents
! gH 1t is easier 10 declaim against a thou
sand sins III others than to mortify one in our
selves.
! Jack, did yor carry that umbarella home
that l borrowed yesterday" 6 No father, you
have often told me to lay up something for, q
rainy day, and rs thought it would rain be-
fore long have laid the umbarella up
- An Irish servant left her place the 9TH
er day, because she had 10 drink brown sugar
in her coffee. a progressive age.
! GX A boarding honse keeper in Baltimore
advertises to " furnish gentlemen with rooms,
also one or two gentlemen with wives"
/ IS Let me never fancy have zeal till my
heart overflows with love for every man.-Nar-
tyn.
IS Near the depot We're several IRISH dray-
me Thinking to quiz them gentleman
shouted to one, . has Lhe railroad got in -
/" One has, sir" wasthe prompt reply.
IS y fat man has no friends in IN omni-
bus. -." i'.
c- I am afraid shall come to want said
an old lady to a youag gentleman. .s 1 have
come to want already" was the reply, " want
your dapghterp' The old lady opened her eyes
very wide. .,. ......
And must l leave thee, dcarert Ange-
linaf z :" Yeth, dear Guthv, you had better take
4 turn with NTH Thimpthon, justh to keep the
people from talking. You can come back you
know"
go The following is speech made by the
manager of an Irish theatre. There were only
three persons composing his audience -" La
dier and gentlemen-as there is nobody here,
III dismiss You all the performances of this
night viii not be performed; but the perform.
ances of this night Will be repeated tomorrow
evening"
cE A paper out vast has for its motto:
GOOD will to all men who pay promptly
Devoted to news, fun and making money"
sss She grieyes sincerely who grieves when
alone.
If ever Christianity" says Robert Hail
appears in its power, it is when it erects Its
trophies upon the tomb; when it takes UP Its
votaries when the world leay es them, and fills
the breast with immortal hope in dying mo-
ments.''
IS In the bull-fghting days blacksmith
son who was rearing bull pup, induced his
old father to GO on all fours and inmitate the
bull. The canine pinned the old by the
nose. The son, disregarding the paternal roar.
ing. exclaimed, hold him Grow!er, boy, hold
him. bear it, father, bear ii it viii be the MA k
ing Of the pup.