Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1857-04-01
NO. XVIII.
From, Pmter's ".Spirit."
ITOW UtV II"
Matrimonial Advertisements.

From Porter's "Spira."
! Matrimonial Advertisements.
A lady who had 10 idea OF looking for huf-
band with large proclivites tor fun and mlscniei
put matrimonial advertisement in the Herald
with direction for answers TO be sent to GER
tain Post Office As the advertisement appeal
ed to the practical appreciations, BY assuming, a
neat little fortune, in addition to an agreeable
person. the seed of such temptations could not
well fall idly upon such fertile bottom rs is of
fered by the city of New York. On the first
day that succeeded the advertisement, the lady
received seventeen replies; on the second day,
thirty two, and on the third seventy-two-an
extent, an ardor, of appreciation. for her vague
ly described personal ATTRACTIONS, which even
she was not prepared to expect.
l Bewildered by the warm volume Of alteration
and entreaty which issued from this hymenial
magazine, the lady called to her aid five other
ladies as mischievous as herself One pair OF
hands and one mind were of course unequal TO
the task of answering all; so the batch q billet
deux was divided equally among them, and each
was to make an appointment with the writer's
on the following Saturday afternoon, at fonr o.
clock on the lower side of the upstairs saloon
of certain popular restaurant in broadway
Esch of the ladies', 'morccyer who took the
task in charge, chose different colored paper
for replies. Finally it was agreed that the
whole six should be present at the interview,
and that each should wear the exact costume
prescribed for the inamorata whom the signing
swains would be there to see. On the other
hand the gentlemen were directed to appear IN
all the varieties of attire and position, which fe-
male ingenuity and mischief could devise. ono
was requested to wear a blue coat with bright
4 L 10 Iatr no rfn
| in the middle; one was to be eating plate OF
pork and beans, which, said the ingenious wri-
| ter who dictated it, ''you can hardly expect will
be called for by any body else" Others were
| to be partaking of various dishes, or to place
themselves in such attitudes and postures as
were directed by The writer.
At 4 o'clock on the prescribed afternoon, ey-
ery chair at every table on the lower side OF the
upstairs saloon, was filled with slick-looking
highly perfumed Leanders, all gazing into each
others faces, and each secretly curslng the luck
which wedged him SO closely out OF the killing
positions and display which he had been med-
tating ever since he got his note. And how the
dishes smoked, and the wondering walters flew
Even the perpexed landlord amazed at this mi
raculous flow of business. was obliged to drop
his own mutton chop and call ont the entire
force of his establishment. to meet the camor-
GUS. if not threatening demands OF gentlemen
who feared they might not get their telegraph
ing plate of duck Oh mess of pork and beans in
time.
At length the clash of sheen and kick of stiff
skirts was heard coming up the stairs one nm
ute after four and an inamorata, appeared, dress
ed in dark green with deep tur cape, and abund-
ant dropping lace. She was waiered on the
back of the head with an in6nitesimal bonnet,
and carried in her hand the magic drf oil cam.
brio, whose Shakesperian strawberries intlrnaied
that she was she. When she appeared, the sem
sation was universal the gentleman with the
buff vest threw open his coat to the extreme;
the gentleman in the "blue" and the bright
buttons. buttoned his coat entirely up to his
chin the gentlemen who was to lean back
wards and forwards frequently commenced tilt
ing like Chinese mandarin; the gentleman
with the pork and beans became vociterous for
more beans; while those who had duck, &c.,
were equally clamorous in complaining OF the
undue fulfllment OF their orders.
Never was there such clamor heard in that IL
sualy well regulated mp stairs saloon before
and by the by never did it subside more sudden
" than when a new brush of skirts was heard
coming up the stairs. All the Lotharios were
once more in position when loi another Cordel-
ia. in all respects the reflex of the first, appear
ed, bearing the film of Strawberries as chal-
lenge in her hand, and sweeping with it like
Juno, and took location near the iirst. 1t Is
needless to say that the sensation was ex-
treme Some of the gentlemen who were to
part their hair in the middle, began, however to
look less furously at other gentlemen who had
their hair parted in the same way as much as TO
say, "Well, there is one for each OF us, any
howl"
But most of the party seemed more troubled
than before pause of some minutes succeed
ed before any Lew appearance" took place
during which the Lotharios were engaged in
displaying their points to the best advantage,
and some. more ardent than the rest, pulled out
the various colored notes they had received and
either pretended to read them or laid them con-
spicuous on the table, There's one, Of my fel-
lows with the blue note !" said Mystery No. !,
over her spoonful of soup, to Mystery No. O.
ssThere's one of mine," said Cordelia the second,
s,lle's got pink note.n "What do you think of
Augustus, there with the pork and beans before
him, who is so pensively leaning his cheek up
on his hand % said Mythia the tirst--but before
the answer could be given. apparitlons three
and four appeared, and hard upon their heels
came five and six. There was now perfect con-
sternaton on the lower side of the upstairs sa-
loon of the fashionable restaurant in Broadway.
The man on the tilt fell backwards, and was
shot under the table; there was genera. feel
ing after hats and gathering up of loose hand
kerchiefs and canes.
All at once, after one Of those short sudden
panics which convey electric knowledge to the
: human mind, general stampede took place,
and the whole party, with more or less dignity
according to the natures and shapes they had
been put D-nade for the stairs and descended
ont of sight. 1t was several minutes before they
could hand in their checks and pay the score,
and during this time the mischevous bevy, with
strawberry marked handkerchiets, took full pay
for their trouble in the hearty laugh they in
dueed in at the ludicrous tableau and exodus
they had just beheld on the part Of gentlemen
who were so sharp after the "snug little for
tnne," and whose motives were entirely confined
to the object of getting a 'congenial partner
with whom they could quietly settle down in
fe."
TIE SOUND OF SUNsEr.-On the arrival Of an
emigrant ship, some years ago, says Porter's
Spirit Of the Times, when the North Carolina
laid off the Battery, an Irshman, hearing the
gun fired at sunset, inquired of one Of the sail
ors what that was2
"What's that? Why that's sunset" was tho
contemptuous reply
'.Sunset!" exclaimed Paddy, with distended
eyes; sunset Holy Moses and does the sun
20 down in this country with such clap Us
thatl"