The Council Bluffs nonpareil. [volume] (Council Bluffs [Iowa]) 1857-1867, 1857-11-28
The soRRows OF a NoNEYED MAN.
An Episode Of the Panic.

THE SORROWS OF 4 MONEY Ed MAN.
An Episode Of the Panic.
One morning, not many days since Mr..
Won Muff conceived and executed the idea
of rising ut fye O'Clock. To the great dis
gust and Indignation OF Mrs. Won Muf, he
Continued the practice; to use her own words,
che deprived her of sleep, and exposed nef
to cold draught before it was light. -,
She followed him one morning, and found
him in state Of great dishabille reading the
| Tines. sspsgs fteT'& saa&H E7.
$50 this is your occupation, is it, Mr..
Won Muif? 1t is to see the newspaper, is it,
that you deprive me Of my rest, and destroy
my health? Are you not ashamed of your
self, sir? Why can't you read the papers
after breakfast, like other folks, eh?
sBecause there's o panic, Felicia, and !
want to find out who were attacked with it
Yesterday" :.
ssPanic, indeed! you're enough yourself
to give any one a panic. l expect you will
have to bury me before long, if this sort Of
treatment is continued. Then, suppose
you will be overjoyed."
sMy dear Felicia, don't agitate yourself.
But, really, our condition is frightful. No.
body trusts anybody. l feel quite alarmed,
for, as you know, my money is all in the
Blunderbuss Bank, and if that should burstH
Serve you right if it did, you fool! Why
don't you put it into the Waterspout Bank !?
that won't BURST ..-f..e g. 4
'No; but there may be run upon it,
Draw out the money altogether, then,
and lock it up in an iron chest Z
'Why, you see, if did that, people would
laugh at me; though, upon my soul, if this
panic continues, l must y.r
'Really, Mr.. Won Muff, you are the most
inexplicable person ever encountered
Here we are, it seems, on the verge of ruin,
and vet you have the hcartlessness to get up
at FIVE o'clock, and sit here quietly for three
hours almost in state of nudity reading
the papers. Pm disguised with you, sir
What are you gazing at? Are you going to
make an effort to save your innocent family
from destruction? VIII you sit there forever
doing nothing but reading the papers-ever-
lastlngly reading the papers!'
Won Muf made no reply, but dressed,
breakfnsted, and took his leave. As he
opened the front door, well known voice
called after him from the top Of the stairs !:
sJoseph'
Ycs, my DEAR
'Draw that money out of the Blunderbuss
Bank this very day, if you don't want to
find yourself wifelesss and childless within Q
weekn
With this awful threat she disappeared, !,
and Joseph hailed an omnibus.
sAh! Won Muif, how dye do p --s
'Good morning, Crokur. Dreadful times,
these. What's the news p ~
you've seen the morning papers? Enor-
nous list of failures. Can't stand it much
longer, sir. Everything must go-you and
| must go.banks must go-everything-
general smash-up.'
sGood God! you can't mean it. Surely
the city banks are safe. have a hundred
thousand deposited 49,
sDraw it out at once, then. Don't hesi-
tate-don't lose an instant. Perhaps you're
too late now. Get gold-nothing but gold
Or you're lost. That is all Pve got to
say ~%.s.. ..~-.-.5
Von Muff pulled out his large red pocket
handkerchief, and wiped tho pcrspiration
from his face. He remained silent-oyer-
come by his reflections. When he left the
omnibus at Stone Street, Crokur put his
head out of the window, and called after the
rctreating capitalist
ATTEND to that at once, Won Muff, or con-
slider Yourself ruined man,
Won Iufr entered his Office in Stone Street
terribly perplexed. He found Scrummage
there-Scrummage, who knew the financial
condition Of every institution in the country.
'Well, Scrummage, how are the banks p
'Bound to go before long. | give 'em a
week. H
'What! do you think so too, Scrummagc?
And the Blundcrbuss?
no better than the others. Got money
there?' -A'
'Yes.' a.5
sThen draw it out Immediately; that's my
adyice.' And off he went to counsel some
other bewildered mortal.
Won Muff now began to realize the panic.
To think was only to make matters worse.
lie rushed into the street in frantic alarm J;
rs he hurried along, he saw an immense
crowd of people before the doors of the Wa
terspout.
'What is the matter here? he timidly in
quired of q by-stander. s.r..
'Run on the bank
sGood Heavens you don't say so?'
+ And onward he FASTENED. Two men talk
the next moment. He caught the word Blum
derbuss; , this was the climax Of his agony.
lie directed his steps at once to the Bank
where his treasure was deposited.
The quiet and repose that surrounded that
veteran institution somewhat reassured him.
His fears, however, were not to be dispelled.
sThis is the calm,' he said to himself, sthat
invariably precedes the storm. There is de-
ception in it lam just in time.' So he en-
tered; drew his money in gold, and with the
aid of several porters and cart, had it con-
veyed to bis Office in Stone Street.
IN air of immense satisfaction pervaded
Won Muff's round, good -natured face, when
he saw the last twenty dollar piece deposit
ed in his safe-one Of Chisselhem's great
iron, patent, everlasting safes. No fear of
that bursting. He lighted cigar, and puff
fny forth the smoke in long succession of
wreaths, he turned to Feeks und Sturp, con-
'fidential clerks Of many years. standing in
the house of Won Muff Il Co., and whispered:
sAll right now, boys; let the banks break
If they like, and be - to them =
1t was, Of course necessary that the large
amount Of treasure recently transferred to
Stone Street should be watched at night,
OLneTWlSc u UuEkiuIS Ill tuc tuiEu utSTe0
might be as disastrous as the breaking Of .
bank. Won Muff himself, with the enthusi.
asm of raw recruit, declared that he was
ready to mount guard for fortnight /; he
could obtain sufficient sleep in the evening
and morning before and after the fulfllment
of his nocturnal duties; and those accom-
modating clerks, Feeks and Sturp, consent
ed to assist him on condition that they
should be supplied with brandy and cigars
at discretion. These preliminnries being
settled, Won MuK went home to dinner. He
looked round upon his fellow-citizens with
the air Of man who had just achieved q
coup fetat. '8'@s
Won Muf experienced social glow of
pride that afternoon on entering the portals
of his spacious mansion in the Avenue. In
the evening he returned to the Office, taking
with him, for defensives purpose. the muskct
with which his sire performed prodigies Of
ivalor in the Revolutionary war. He thought
it prudent to inform his wife, through the
domestic, that be would not return home
until the following day. E11a I
The FIRST nights watch passed off tolerably
well. Cigars and stiff brandy-and-water
were provided, and the guard were kcut
awake partly BY the liquor and partly BY