Fremont journal. [volume] (Fremont, Sandusky County [Ohio]) 1853-1866, 1857-07-31
NO. 27.
sur LovIaNaoop,s srlInr.

'lNH dOuB ~ hio usual 1ainOhuB uuSSi ehn
yait: his appearance at once satisfied me
hat something was wrong. Ho had been
,ick--whipped in free fight, or was just
outgrowing one Of his big drunls. But up
on this point was soon enlightened.
"Why Sat, what's wrong nows' .l=si (
"Heap's wrong; durn mo skin if amt :
most ded. Lite off that hoss, George, an
take horn, while take two Shaking that
everlasting flask of his at me) an plant yer
self on that ar log an I'll tell ye ef ken,
but its most beyond telln'. 1 reckeu I'm
tho darndest fool out en- Utaw scept my dad,
for he acted hoss, an / haint dun that yet
alters in somo trap that cudent koch a
sheep. I'll drown myself sum day see ef /
don't just to stop a family opposition to
make id fools of themselves"
"How is it Sut; have you been beat play
ing cards, or drinking, which is itF'
"Nara one; that can't be did in these
parts; but scein' it's you George, I'll tell
you; but swar I'm 'shamcd-sick-sorry,
and--and-mad, am.
aye know boards with Bill Carr at his
cabin on the mountain, and pays fur sich rs
| gifts when hev money, an when | hev-
ent any, why he takes one-third outen me
in cussin; and she, that's his wife, Bets,
takes out tother two-thirds with the batllin'
stick, and che intrust with her tongue, and
the intrust's moren the princp'l-heap
more. She's the cussedest oman ! ever
seed enyhow for jaw, breedin' ard pride.
She can scold blister onto bulls face
rite on the curl in two minits. She out
breeds ev'rything on the river-and patterns
arter ev'ry fashion she hears tell on, from
bustels to britches. Oh she's one on 'em,
and sometimes she's two or three. Well, ye
see, got sum hum-rnade cotton truck 10
make new shirt outen, and coaxed Bets
to make it, and when it wer dun here
comes lawyer johnson along and axcd fur
breakfus-l wish it had pizened him, durn
his hide, and / wonder it didn't, for she
cooks awful mixings when she tries. Pm
pizen proof myself (holding up his flask and
peeping through i0or I'd been dead longago.
"Well while be were a eatin she spied out
that his shirt was stiff an nifty slick; so she
never rested till she worm'd it outen him
that preparation of flour did it; and she got
few particlars about the proceedings outen
him by 'omans arts-I don't know how she
did it perhaps he does. Arter he left she
set in an billed big pot of paste-nigh on
to peck ofit an souscd in my shert an let
it soak awhile, then she tuck it an ironed il
out fiat and dry and sot it up on its aidge
agin the cabin in the snn. Thar it stood
as stiff as dry hoss hide, an it ratified like
a sheet of iron, it did. 1t were pasted to-
gether all over. When I cum to dinner
nothin' would do but I must put it on.--
Well, Bets an me got the thing open artcr
some hard work, she pulling at one of the
tails and me at the tother, an | got into it.
Durn the everlasting new tangled shert,
say. | felt like I had crawled into an old
bee gum an hit full of pisants; but it were
like lawyer Johnson's and | stud it like a
man, and went to work to build Bets a ash
hopper. worked powerful hard and swet
like hoss, and when tho shert got wet it
quit its hurting.
carter got dun took about four fingers
of red-head, and crawled up into the cabin
loft to take snuze.
!, "Well, when walked up thought was
ded, or had the cholery, for all the joints
could move wer my ankles wrists knees
couldn't even move my head and skasely
wink my eyes-the cussed shert was pasted
fast onto me all over, from the pint of the
tails to the pint of the broadax collar ovel
my years. 1t sot as close TO me as pool
COW dus to her hide in March. squirmct
and strained till l sorter got it broke at th,
, shoulders and elbows, and then done tn
, durndest foolish thing ever did in thes
mountains. shuff1ed my britches off an,
tore loose from my hide about two inche
. of the tail all around, in much pain an
: tribulation. Oh but it did hurt Then
took up plank onten the loft and hung m,
legs down through the hole and nailed th,
aidge Of the front tail to the floor before me
and the hind tail I nailed to the planl
whot sot on. unbultoned the collier AM
Q risbands, raised my hands away above m
!, head, shot up my eyes, said grace an
: jumped through to the ground fore"
Here Sut remarked sadly:
"George Tn q darnder fool than eve
: dad was, hoss, hornets, an all. I'll drow
!, myself sum of these days, sec eff l DON'T"
swell go on, Sut; did tho shirt come off
T-t-h-i-n-k-it-d-i-d. / hear
a noise sorter like taring shingle roof o
ov house all at onst, and felt like m
. bones were all that reached the fore.
| staggered to my feet and took a look at m
shert. The nails had all hilt their holt, AM
thar it were hanging, arms down, inside out
and as stiff as ever. 1t looked like the maj
; ov Mexico jst arter ono of the first battle
IA patch of my hide about the size of
| dollar and half bill here; bunch Of m,
har about the size of birds nest thar; thel
some more skin; then somo paste; then lit
tie more har; then skin; and so on all owe
that darned new tangled, everlasting, infer
nal cuss of shert. 1t was picture to lool
at--aa' so sOas T. Tho hide, har and past
were about ekeally deyided atween me an,
it. Wonder what Bets. durn her, thor
when she come home and found me missing
Spect she thinks crawled into thicke
and died of my wounds. 1t must hay
skared her good, for tell you it looked lik
the skin Of some wild beast torn off alive, Q
a bag what had kerried load ov fresh bee
from a shooting match.
''Now, George, il ever ketch that Law
yer johnson out I'll shoot him, and il eve
an oman talks about flat'nin shert for m
again, durn my eyerlastin pictur cf don
tlatten her. It's ritribution sartin, the big
gest kind of preachers regular ritribution