Delaware weekly Republican. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1841-188?, 1857-04-30
HUMOROUS,

4 HUMOROUS.
The lequaoity of fools is lecture to the vi
The following epigran on burning vidsu,
attributed to the pen Of Canning -
None of your sauce. p as the sod,s- hs.d .
to the oyster.
Why is teDder-heartsd person like hou
Keeper with but little furniture 7-Besauss
= 5eopie are all the summer learning to lee
door open, and the whole winter learning
close it.
: An eyed bachelor being asked II he had W
hesssa a public execution replied, sNo,. but
, ence saw marriage"
What kind of fever has man who is Ooi,
TO- pay his creditors who live at distance I.
The Bilious Remittent.
Let us remove temptation from the patb
youth, = as the frog said, az he plunged int
'he wafer, when he saw boy pick up ston,
An Emeralder, in writing his life. saws, /.
ran away from my father, because discoyere
ne was only my uncle"
ARrenchman went out to shoot duck. Tel
| lng about his luck, he says. 0I hunt all day
ze pond all iroze ! never Sc bnt one dnof
una two pigeons, and kin half o. dat"
wIeKEp.-It is not unffequently the cas-,
tnat the kisses and attentions bestowed on IN,
child Of six years, are intended for her siate
of sixteen.
A Corset Maker ont Of work thus vented hos
complaint Shame that l should be without
l. ha aUa 40 ..
thousands." y
club boat has just been built which Is &C
h,eely H., balanced that the rowers are obliged TO
middle to keep their balance.
Boston folks are talking of ind,c,,,e ,Ns.
Speaker of tlf5 lower branch of tbs Masssohn-
house, N'O'Ue'ls
>, A a, o1nd-street dressmaker, with more truts
tuah elegance, sent home a lady,s dress VIII,
a letter, which began thus :---"My dear madam
this comes h0oping," etc.
you two children quarrel so about thss
doll, I'll break 1t up; there's no psae, vbass
you are !" "Oh, do, mammal screamed tb',
young hopefuls, "thsn we shall both have .
Napoleon, seeing a short man among nj.
said, Thou art yery small 1or :
grenadier.' The soldier instantly replied. aIf
be one!'' "u'N "V'
A single man. advertising for enployment
maiden lady wrote to inform him that II hS
'oaid hnd nothing better to do, he might come
y ma marry her He did SO, and touched twentF
thousand dollars. 80 :,
An elephant once nearly killed an Iri.bm.u
OF an insult offered to his trunk. tTbe act
vas rash in the extreme; but II was Impossibls.s
he hioarnlan said, 'to resist nose you could
'ull with both hands.o
rs in India one day an EngIishman sat,
WIN smart native lass at the window,
10 goaT widows burn themselves pray tell
me that y" eNE s.'g
Said the pretty inquisitive Hindoo.
DO they burn THAT they do" the gsntle-
man said, I.-l Un~
with flame not SO easy to smother
'aF widows, the moment one husband ia dead
Immediately burn--for anotherl' iasl
'Fellow-citizens = said a stump orator, swe
ave the best country in the world, and the
est government. What people on the face Of
lie globe enjoy more privileges than we do r.
lere we have liberty to speak, and liberty OF
ie press, without Onerous despotism. What,
allow citizens, is more desirable than this7-
o you want anything more, my countrymenfS
es sir-ee,' sang out red-faced loafer, 'thia
dry work. want a suck out of that flask
licking out of your coat pocket, behind
. ~ --------- ~e-s----. =. at '8lH
a stsamboat passenger, who was very much
nnoyed By the pertinacious ringing of bell
y a colored gentleman, who desired a stam-
ede to the ''captain's office, "soon efter found
IS way to the supper table. II was now his
urn to talk, aud calling to his side tho sable
cllringer now transmogriaed into a alter,
e desired tint tho captain should be sent for
oltHNith; ~ hat do you want him for 1'a
emsnded the darkey. ITO settle this coiiee..
'as ne reply, as he Indignantly hold up cup
what passes under that name in such places.
They have Judge in the Blue Ridge cir.
ut, Georgia, named Brown, who not only ad-
hnlst9rs justice in a digniHed and impartial
anner, but is likewise bit Of wag in his
ay' While hearing case, the attorney
ated in his plea that he believed one of the
rors was intoxicated. The judge, addressing
e man alluded to, said; "Sir, are you
'unk i' The juror Strengthening himself up,
bold, hslf-defant tone, replied; "No air.
c, bobp "Well," said the Judge. "I eno
u hve dollars for the 'ree' and ten for the
OBJ Hi'
Mother said Mrs. Partingion's Ike, .her..
word in this ere paper can't make OUT
Spell j child said the old lady. 81 saa
Sag N-i-c-t-sH
Sage Niets, sonny, what does il saw about
nl'
1t says that they started In old Kentucky.
1 are spreading all over.' -, go
Dear on usP said the old lady, sthe world
st be comm to an endl ChitE-bugs, cut-
rms and locusts were bad enuf, but hero
st come them filthy things, the sage nitl-
sasSengers for this year, Isaaop and Mrs.
rtington sighed. .,...
March is always turning pint with me,'
d Mrs. B1ttl0gash, rehectively, sand I We al
Us noticed that if managed TO live through
reh, was pretty sure of living all the rest
the year" This reminds us Of the old sex-
down at Salem, who said that he had be-
no so accustomed TO the sound of his bell
I if he was over at Marblehead and heard
he would know that he was not ringing it.
llso suggests that other story Of the young
: who remarked that though his sister was
nelly now, there had been a time when ohO
as handsome as sho ever wasi F
'ULPIr GRAyIrT.-A minister was preach
to large congregation In one Of the
ithern States, on the certainty of a futuro
gQent. In the gallery sat colored girl,
h a white child in her arms, which she was
icing up and down with commendable effort
MAKE the baby observe the proprietes Of
place. The preacher was too much inter
ed in his subject to notice the occasional
se Of the infant; and at the right point in
discourse, threw himself into an interesting
itude, US though he had suddenly heard the
Il note Of the trump OF doom and looking to-
rds that part of the church where the girl
tn the baby in her arms was sitting, he asked
q low, deep voice. ~ ...u
4. A.