The Council Bluffs nonpareil. [volume] (Council Bluffs [Iowa]) 1857-1867, 1857-11-21

tain the consent Of Jour compasions u
readily g you have Mine.s 4,
Tho robber took the keys ana tried ont
after another, Lus none woald ~. Hegrex
impatiept, and the baroaesss ssenOd saill
more %. 80,
LET me take them said she, sperhaps
shall find the way sooner. Indeed, il We dc
mot make haste the morning will overtaks
us. Ha. the reason why neither oae Of ri
could unlock it y because ] have the wrong
bunch OF keys. I'll soon obtain another
She ran up stairs, and presently they heard
her coming down; but she came slowly, 40 II
out Of breath with the haste she had made,
'I'ye found them!' cried she, at distance.
She was within about three stepsaf the man
placed at the entrance Of the cellar, when
she made spring at the wretch, who Il
much expected q dissolution Of tho world
as such an attack. A single push with hel
strength tumbled him to the bottom of the
stairs, and in twinkling, she closed the
trap door, bolted it, and thus hal the whole
company secured in the cellar.
This vas the work OF q single moment.
In the next she few across tho court yard
and with candle sct Ere to detached
pigsty. The watehmen IN the village, per.
ceiving the flames, instantly gave the alafm
and in q few minutes the inhabitants were
aroused and crowd Of farmers With their
servants hastened to the mansion.
The baroness awaited them ct the gate
"A few Of yeu will be sufficient to put out
this ERE and prevent it spreading. But now
provide yourselves with arms which you viii
lind IN abundance in my husbands armory,
Post yourselves ct the avenues leading from
tho cellar, and suffer not one Of the rObbera
to escape M ~ z5s .a5s.s..ssFs -sgf
Her directions werc obeyed, and not one
OF them escaped the punishment due hi.
THE PATENT UMBRELLA. 3
Our friend Beard, Of Cincinnati, the art.
list, has invented plan to stop that most
inconvenient and unpunishable crime, um.
brella thief which We intend to make pub
lie at the risk of violating the patent laws
We will tell the story as he related IL:
81 had just bought fine silk umbrella,
and started for the Burnett House, on q
rainy day. when began to reflect upon my
extravagance, and to wonder as / tripped
along proudly under its broad and safe COW
er, whether or not it would 60 the way Of
all umbrellas; and leave me to the s:pisi!ess
peltings Of the Storm" before the day was
over. True, l could keep it in my hand,
but then was occasionally SO absent mind
ed that would be just as apt to set it down
in public barroom, or even to have it tax
en- quietly out of my hand by some adroit
Chevdlier d'indusfrie. felt Concerned
Suddenly an idea occurred. | stepped into
a hardware store and purchased small pad
lock. On arriving at the hotel closed my
umprella, slipped the lock on to the wire
spring which keeps it shut, and deposited il
with the moss perfect confidence into the
public rack. was not long waiting FOR d
customer. A splendid looking fellow with
u goatee and mustache (you will see his like
ness as Augustus Tomlinson when my pic.
ture Of Paul Clifford is exhibited, stepped
up with the most perfect non-chalance and
took my identical umbrella. Iquietly saun-
tered towards the door, giving casual
glance at the weather; my hero cssayed to
spread the sheltering silk; but alas !; it wal
no go-again! Still worse. What the
deuce was the matter He looked saw the
trap, and the fall Of his countenance was
exactly that step from the sublime to the
ridiculous had SO often heard Of, but ney
er seen before. ess
My umbrella was quietly deposited IN ita
place, and my gentleman meekly sauntered
towards the reading room, and slipped out
of another door umbrellaless.
was by no means satisfied with one ex-
pertinent. In little while saw one Of the
most brazen appropriations of small things
(he was especially hard On lunches and drinks
-free)in all Cincinnati. sNow,' said /, SIS
my chance sex -"
This customer had an article in his hand
which might in courtesy be called the sghost
of an umbrella and cotton at that. With
grandiloquent air he deposited it right
alongside of mine, and went to the bar
There he picked up a treat Git was election
time,) and ate crackers and cheese enor-
mously. Thence to the reading room, with
my eyes still on him, and in less than min
ute, with q shrug, and buttoning up his Goa,
an extra button, he passed in rapid busi-
ness manner to the door, picking up my um.
brells, with scarcely y glance, as he went
along. was on hand. With sudden
movement he attempted to raise it; no 90
Again! Still q failure. With decision
perfectly Napoleanic, and worthy Of the 90
casion, he was about to tear away the sligh,
obstruction, when stepped up and said:
/ Don't do that! ri lend you the key!'
sAh! Mr.. Beard. Ha ha! Strange mis-
take-thoughti was my own. Good device
devilish good! Think I'll adopt it,
And with the most perfect ease, he put
the umbrella down, took his own, and "a.
moosed. sa ~ t. 5ays' H &aa
was satisfied. / had found out how tc
keep an umbrella, and now am on my wa,
to Washington to get q patent for it, if Jacl
Brace, here, don't steal tho idea and make ,
story of it.' @ a@1
Well-I did Philadelphia Eue. Nation
al Argus. $50
A@ SLIGHTLY LUD1CROUS.
A few days ago, as . highly seccessfu
Isnrotracted meetinp' in n neiphkorinr conn.