Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1857-03-06

penknlfe, and meanwhile making fur-
GUS attempt to sing the words of the
Evening Hymn to the Virgin to the
classic air of Root Hog or Die
The mania has extended even to the
kitchen, and the servants are now follow
ing the example of their betters, and
getting garoted on every favorable oppor-
tunity-if the boy goes to the butchers,
he is invariably, according to his own
account, attacked by band of ruAians
and robbed of the money before he gets
home-this last happened four successive
days in broad daylight, and has cost Mrs.
Snagly about four and sixpencc time
l sent Sally, the little errand girl, with
dime for some beer, and she returned in
tears, with the news that she too had
been "groted, " and had lost the change.
She had her fist full of lemon candy, and
had two big apples in her pocket, which
| suppose the robbers had given her,
l am positively frightened things are
truly in dreadful state in my neighbor-
hood dare not travel on the sidewalk.
and have ruined my best pantaloons
walking through the slush in the middle
of the road. I Imagine there is garoter
under every paving stone, or hiding be-
hind every lamp-post. Daylight some
times shows me the strange mistakes
had made in the night I find that /
have been two blocks out of my way to
avoid broken wheelbarrow which took
for a concealed ruifian; and have run
half a mile to get away from pump,
which imagined was fierce garoter
with club raised and have on nine oc-
casons crossed the street through knee
deep puddle, to escape molasses hogs
head, which ! supposed to be rotund
robber, lying in wait for the subscriber.
This state of things was uncomfortable,
and l accordingly armed myself for the
want. ] got revolver, bowie-knife,
dagger, n slung -shot, sword-cane, a
chilly" a policeman's club, a pair of
brass knucklos, and six good, large paw
ing-stoncs, which | carried in a conve-
nient place in my'over-coat pocket there
wasn't an inch of me that wasn't guarded
by something that would shoot, strike or
stab. ] had, to be sure, some little
trouble in managing the entire armory-
| fired away four boxes Of percussion
caps practicing how to draw and fire my
revolver in the least space Of time-then
| thought I'd load it, which did, put
ting so much powder into each barrel
that | had to drive the ball in at the end
with tack hammer-th | tried to fire
it, and not barrel would 90 off-then at
dinner ! accidentally dropped it, and il
all went off at once, lodging three of the
balls in boiled ham on the table, while
the rest brought up in large bowl OF
mince meat in the kitchen, and were
afterwards discovered in the pies by the
boarders-then ] sat down on my bowie
knife, and cut my leg half off-then /
dropped my dagger out of the sheath
and it went through the top of my boot
and stuck into my foot--three times have
| smashed my toes with my slung shot ;
and | have broken two entire sets of
chamber crockery, four mirrors, and all
my window-glass, practicing with my
club and sword cane.
My pockets are so full of instruments
Of death, that they are in the way Of
my business-if / want my memoran-
dunn book, ont comes my revolver; if /
have occasion for my portmonnaie, ]
find chilly in its place; instead of
my penknife, | put my hand on a slung-
shot, when ] am in hurry for my latch
key, can't find anything but a pair of
brass knuckles and I have on four diff
ferent occasions, attempted to pay my
board with pavings-stones simply, be-
cause ] couldn't find anything else in my
pocket.
But am fast becoming expert can
draw and fire my revolver in two minutes
and half, if the lock doesn't catch in
the lining Of my pocket can get brass
knuckles ready for action in four minutes
! can draw my bowie-knife as quick
as / can intuition my overcot to get at
the handle; and j can strike another
man with my slung-shot as often as | hit
myself, which is much more than / could
do at first Garoters beware Doesticls
is prepared. Courageously,
Q. X. PmLANDER DoEsrcKs, p. B.
p. S. I've been thinking the matter
over-on examining my private accounts
] find j owe money in divers and sundry
places, as follows:
Til. 600 m