davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Warren telegraph. [volume] (Warren, R.I.) 1857-1861, 1857-12-12

GovERNMENT.-Govcrnmcnt resembles the
wall which surrounds our lands; ncedful pro-
lection, but rearing no harvests, ripening no
fruits. II is the individual who must choose
whether the enclosure shall be Paradise or a
waste. How little positive good can Govern
mcnt conferi 1t docs not till our fields. build
our houses, weave the ties which bind us to
our families, give dsinterestedness to the heart,
OF energy to the intellect and will. All our
great interests are left to ourselves, and Gov
ernmcnts that have interfercd with them, have
obstructed, much more than advanced them.
For example, they have taken religion into their
keeping only to disfgure it. So education, in
their hands, has become the propagator Of ser.
vile maxims, and the uphodcr Of antiquatcd or-
ror. Ia like manner, they have paralyzed trade
by their nursing care, and multiplied poverty
by their expedicnts for relief Government has
almost been barrier, against which intellect
has had to struggle and society has made its
chief progress by the minds Of private individu-
ais, who have outstrippcd their rulers, and grad
ually shamcd them into truth and WISDOM
Chanting.
Warren telegraph. [volume] (Warren, R.I.) 1857-1861, 1857-12-12

THE Bitter BITTEN.-The Van Vert american
tells good one about an athletic blacbleg buy
ing watch of young man on the cars be-
tween Fort Wayne and Crestline and paying
for it with bad money On the arrival of the
train at Crestlinc, the young man got on board
Cleveland train, when he found that the mon
cy he had taken for his watch was not good
He forthwith returned to the other train, to re-
turn the money to Mr.. B!ackleg, who he found
was not on board After waiting while and
hearing the cry, "all aboard |" he seized Mr.
Baclleg's sack, shawl and umbrella, and went
with them into the other train. After the Cleve-
land train was fairly goue, Mr.. Blacllcg return
cd TO his scat to resume his iourpay, when he
found 10 his surprise aud rage thai his things
were all gone. A gentleman who sat near them,
and who had been an observer of passing events,
remarked that his friend had taken them, and
gone into the Cleveland train. The athletic
man clustered and raved considerably, with i'm
precautions and threats. The gentleman coolly
reminded him that he had better take il calm
ly that he had only been beaten at his own
game; that he had got the yonng mans watch
for nothing, and that the young man had recip-
rocatcd by taking his things.
Warren telegraph. [volume] (Warren, R.I.) 1857-1861, 1857-12-12

ECONOMY AND EyrRAvAGANcE.-Two cases
one of economy and one of extravaganza, are
reported in tho New York Sun. The first is
that Of o down town merchant who recently re-
paired 10 his wife to say that he lacked 81 400
towards payment of a. pote,,Thicl i hea did not
meet would result in bankruptcy, whercupor
his wife gave him $4,000 in gold and bank notes
saved from her house money.
The second incident is to the effect that a
brother of this same merchant laid by $1,000
in gold at home, being afraid to trust the banks,
in order to meet a note. When its u was re-
quired, he found it missing. His wife had bought
81 900 set OF furs with it at Stewards and the
merchant failed
Warren telegraph. [volume] (Warren, R.I.) 1857-1861, 1857-12-12
9elefteo Alistellanp.
A RICH PRODUCTION.


The popularity in the following ingcniouslyeoIlcc
cd lines consists in this, that each line is of
known verses, and yet they are 30 we'll collatcd th
hey rhyme, and are of the same metre
The moon was shining silver bright,
All bloodless lay the untrodden snow;
When freedom from the mountain height,
Exclaimed, "Now don't be foolish joe"
An hour passed on, the Turks awoke,
A bumble-bce went laundering by,
To hover in the sulphur smoke,
~ And spread its pail upon the sky.
Hisschoing axo the settler swung,
.He>sas q lad Il high removing
Nnd deep the pedriy caves among,
Giles 6croggins courted Molly Brown.
Loud roars the Wild inconstant blast,
And cloudless set the sun at even;
When twilight dews are falling fast,
And rolls the thunder drum Of heaven!
Oh, ever thus, from childhoods hour,
BY torchlight trumpet fast arrayed;
Beneath yon ivy mantled tower
The bull-frog croaks his screnadc.
Oh, my love is like the red, red rose,
He bought ring with posy true;
Sir Barney Bodkin broke his nose,
And, Saxon, ] am Rhoderick Dhu
Warren telegraph. [volume] (Warren, R.I.) 1857-1861, 1857-12-12

A CANDID DEAcos.-Deacon NJ. was an hon.
est old codger, kind, obliging neighbor, and
a good church-going Christian believing in tho
Presbyterian creed to the fullest extent But
alack-a-day y!-this pillar of the church was at
times q little "shaky;" in fact, the Deacon
would occasionally get exceedingly "mellow; !"
and almost every Sunday at dinner he would in
dulge in his favorite cider-brandy, to such an
extent that it was with difficulty he reached his
pew, which was in the broad. aisle near the pull
pit, and between the minister's and The village
squirc's. One Sunday morning, the parson told
his flock that hc should preach sermon to them
in the afternoon, concerning many glaring sins
that he grieved to see SO conspicuous among
them; and that he hoped thoy would listen at
tentiyely, and not finch if he should happen to
be severe. The afternoon came, and the house
was full Everybody turned out to hear his
neIghbor :" dressed down rby theminister, wht,
after well opening his sermon, commenced upon
the transgressors in loud voice, with the qtiss-
ton "Wherc is the drunkard?" A solemn
pause succeeded this inquiry; when up rose
Deacon NJ, his face radiant with copious draughts
of his favorite drink, and steadying himself as
well as he could by the pew-rail, looked up to
the parson and replied in piping and tremu-
lous voice: Here am!' Ofcourse conster-
nation seized the congregation, at the honest
Deacon's response. However, the parson went
on with his remarks as he had written them
commenting severely upon the drunkard, and
warning him to at once forsake such evil habits
if he would seek salvation and fee the coming
wrath. The Deacon then made a bow and seat
ed himself again "And now," out-spokc the
prcacher-man in his loudcst tones "where is
toe hypocrite ?" A pause-but no one respond
ed. Eyes were turned upon this and that man,
but the most Of the glances seemed directed
towards the Squire's pew, and indeed the parson
seemed to squint hard in that direction. The
Deacon saw where the shaft was levelled, or
where it should be aimed, and rising once more,
leaned over his pew-rail to the Squire, whom
he tapped on the shoulder, and thus addressed:
"Comc Squire, why don't you get up? did,
when hc called on MEL"
Warren telegraph. [volume] (Warren, R.I.) 1857-1861, 1857-12-12

"BAD COMPANY Is BETTER THAN NoNE. -
Rudeness is often assumed by professional men,
in the foolish bolief that it adds Importance to
their manners. Sometimes it succeeds but il
more often receives serious rebuke. Witness
the following instance:
A lawyer driving through town, stopped at
a cottage to inquire his way. The lady Of the
house told him he must Keep straight ON for
sometime, then turn to the right; but said that
she herself was going to pass the road he must
take, and fhe would wait for few moments
she would show him the way. We'll, he
said, /" bad company is better than none. Make
haste" After jogging on five or six miles, the
gaaatlcman asked if he had not yet come to the
road he mnst take. 80 yes" said she, VIC
have passed it two or three milP back, but I
thought that bad company was better than none,
so kept you along with me-"
Warren telegraph. [volume] (Warren, R.I.) 1857-1861, 1857-12-12

WoMAN's LovE.-The fact was announced
some days since, of the determination Of the
wife of Mr.. James o. Brayman, lately sentenced
to the State Prison for the Post Office robbery in
Chicago to accompany her husband to Alton
and to remain there during his imprisonment
The resolve Of Mrs. Brayman is noble one, and
the sympathy Of every generous and feeling
heart will be with her. A similar case has re-
Gently occurred in Lorraine County, Ohio. A
man named Horace Fleming was sentenced to
the Penetentary for larceny His wife, Mary
Jane Fleming, Immediately made an attempt to
set fire to her house, delivered herself up and
pleaded guilty of arson. She did this for the
purpose of sharing her husbands captivity.
In connection with these instances ofwoman's
devotion, we may mention tho singular fact,
communicated to us by State Prison Inspector
Of long experience, that during his term of of
flee, only one husband Of q prisoner erer called
at Me Prison 10 sec his rife There arc Of
course many married women confined for crime; (;
but their husbands invariably desert them in
their trouble. On the other hand, q large ma
jority of the married male prisoners are visited
constantly, and coEdolcd with by their sorrow
ing wives And yet how many women have suf-
fered harshness and brutality at the hands Of
their criminal husbands. Such is womans de-
voton--such is mans heartlessness-Therci is a
Lesson Of Life" in the experience of State
Prison. Albdny Statesman
Warren telegraph. [volume] (Warren, R.I.) 1857-1861, 1857-12-12

Dos'r EAT HoT BREAD.-It never digcsts. DIR.
Bunting's experiments with St Martin, tho man
who has hole in his stomach, by which all the
processes through which food passes can be de-
tectcd prove that hot bread never digests at all
after long season Of tumbing and working
about the stomach, it will begin to fermont and
Il will eventually be passed out of the stomach
As AN unwolcome tenant of that delicate. organ,
but never digcsts--neyer becomes assimilsted TO,
or absorbed by the organs that appropriate nu-
triton to the body. 1t is, however, first rate
dyspepsia producer.
Warren telegraph. [volume] (Warren, R.I.) 1857-1861, 1857-12-12

TnE RULING PAssIoN.-Some men Of certain
idiosyncrasics, are always displaying them un-
der ridiculous circumstances. One Of this stripe
was arrested by the police the other night, ON
account of some ecccntricities whicn he display
ed and the gravity with which he begged par
don Of the policemen, when they shook him or
trod on his toes, was ludcrous in tho extreme.
His rbanity did not forsske him in the Station
cuso him for the trouble he gave them in lock-
ing him up. 1t is needlessto say that he was
"quitc cxcusablc. ."-Honolulu Adcertisor.
Warren telegraph. [volume] (Warren, R.I.) 1857-1861, 1857-12-12

LAwYER's QUESTION ANSWERED. What
did he say, sir? Come, give us his very words
none of your inforenccs sir"
81 don't like to answer that question"
"Ho, ho! So you're afraid to answer that
question, are you? knew l should drive you
into close corner Come, out with it, and
none of your shrinking here"
81 should rather be excused" -.
"Thcn shall appeal to the court to commit
you for contempt"
"Well, sir, if must answer, no told me this
morning he had no money"
"Well, sir, what language did he use p.
why, | asked him to loan me half dollar,
and he said he couldn't for you had robbed him
Of every cent of his money, and if he did not
get out of your clutches very soon his children
would s.aryc." =.
Warren telegraph. [volume] (Warren, R.I.) 1857-1861, 1857-12-12

REvoLrISG ASEcDoTE.--A wretch Of q hus-
band. coming home at one in the morning, bund
his angel wife sitting up reading an old novel.
With a coarsencss almost amounting TO cruelty,
he took the book from her hand, and placed be-
fore her pair of her cbild's socks, whichahap-
poned to have holes in them, disgustingly Oh.
served, If you ,ciU fatigue yourself, my love,
with any work at such an hour, would suggest
H is nercr too late 10 mend"
Warren telegraph. [volume] (Warren, R.I.) 1857-1861, 1857-12-12

A TOUCH HEAD.-Tne Calaveras (Cal.) Chron-
icle states that two "colored gemmen," in that
place. who had quarrclled about "ady," met
in mortal combat. After an exchange Of shots,
the sheriff arrested the parties and carried them
to Jail, when pistol bullet was found .Jiattencd
out and lodged in the wool of one of the COM
batants, who was quite unaware Of having been
touched.
Warren telegraph. [volume] (Warren, R.I.) 1857-1861, 1857-12-12

Why was Pharaoh's daughter like broker
Because she got little prophet from the rushes
on the banks.
The Providence Journal notes difference be-
tween the two cases, inasmuch as Pharaohs
daughter obtained her prophet from the bull
rushes while the brokers derive their profit from
the 6ear-rushcs. But then the prophet was bare
when found, Mr.. Journal
Warren telegraph. [volume] (Warren, R.I.) 1857-1861, 1857-12-12

maiden lady in Westport, who is possessed
of considerable real estate, upon being called
to pay her highway tax for the present year.
claimed an equal privilege with the lords of
creation, of working it out on the highway, and
actually appeared, hoe in haud, and discharged
her duties to the satisfaction of the Surveyor.
Warren telegraph. [volume] (Warren, R.I.) 1857-1861, 1857-12-12

Some few years ago, Mr.. Kidwcll wns preach
ing to large audience in wild part of Illinois,
and announced as his text:
:" In my Fathers house are many mansions
He had scarcely read the words, when an old
coon stood up and said
81 tell you, folks, that's lie! know his
father well. He lives fifteen miles from Lexing-
ton, in Kentuck, in an old cabin, and there aint
but one room in the house."
Warren telegraph. [volume] (Warren, R.I.) 1857-1861, 1857-12-12

We have heard good many touching express
ions Of filia affection, but none equal to the fol-
lowing, which Western man really gave vent
to short time since;
any father was the only man ever allowed
10 be sassy to me without licking him like thun-
der"
Warren telegraph. [volume] (Warren, R.I.) 1857-1861, 1857-12-12

The SAFEST WAr.-One evening, after a
weary march through the desert, Mohammed,
camping with his followers, overheard ono of
them saying, 81 will unloose my camel and
commit II to God, on which he took him up
and sad Friend, tic thy camel and commit il
to God"
Warren telegraph. [volume] (Warren, R.I.) 1857-1861, 1857-12-12

The Editor of the Calais Adrertiscr found
man in lis own city who owed ten dollars for
his paper. The Editor wore out pair Of boots
calling on him for pay. At last the fellow got
mad and declared that he would never pay ono
cent The Editor says that for once in his life,
that fellow kept his words 3s< 80
Warren telegraph. [volume] (Warren, R.I.) 1857-1861, 1857-12-12

If convenient 10 Mr.. Lavton the amount
would be acceptable"
"I will hand it 10 him when he is It leisure
He will attend to it, no doubt"
The Doctor sighs involuntarily, as he recalls
similar indefinite promises but It is impossible
to insist upon intsrrupting important business
lie ventures another remark. implying thsI
prompt payment would oblige him, bows and
retirss.
On, on goes the faithful horse. Where is Ia
be the next stopping placer Alta wealthy ner.
chants, who owed so much to the Doctors
skill some two months since. Even the Doctor
feels confidence here Thousands saved BY the
prevention of that fever. Thirty dollars are
not to be thought of in comparison
All is favorable Mr.. Palmer is at home and
receives his visitor in cordial manner. Com.
plimsnts ara passpd. Np9.thr the bill.
ouf little account, Mr.. Palmer
"Ah! lrecolect; I'm trific in your debt
Let me see, thirty dollars so muchy ! had
forgotten that we had needed medical advice, ex-
cepting in my slight indisposition few weeks
ince."
Slight indispositonl What memory some
people are blessed with.
The doctor smothcrs bis rising indignation.
"Oh, very well dare say il is all right. /
am sorry haven't the money for you to-day,
doctor. Very tight Just at present you know
how it is with mon of business"
1T would bea great accommodation ifI could
have it at once"
"Impossible. doctor l wish could oLlige
you. In week, or fortnight at the farthest, |
will call at your Office"
A week or fortnight! The disappointed doc
tor once more seats himself in his chaise. and
urges his horse to speed lie is growing des.
perats now, and is eager to meet his next place
of destination. Suddenly he checks his horse
A gentleman is passing whom he recognizes az
the young husband whose idolized wife has so
lately been snatched from the borders of the
grave.
"Glad to see you Mr. Wilton was about
calling at your house."
"Pray, do so, Doctor; Mrs. Wilton will be
glad to sec you"
"Thank you; but my call was on business to-
day. believe must trouble you with my bill
for attendance during your Wits illness"
"Ah, yes; recollcct. Have you it with
you? Fifty dollars impossible Why, she
was not i'll above three weeks"
"Very true but think of the urgency of the
case. Three or four calls during twentv-four
hours were necessary, and two whole nights
passed at her bedside
"And yet the charge appears to be enormous.
Call it forty, and will hand you the amount at
once"
"The Doctor hesitates. al cannot afford to
lose ten dollars which is iustly NV dine Mr. VIII
Warren telegraph. [volume] (Warren, R.I.) 1857-1861, 1857-12-12

CoMIcAL INNocENcE.-An exchange says lit
tie child made a STOOL no two of the legs of
which were of length. While in vain trying
to make it stand upon the floor, he looked in
his mothers face and asked, "Does God see ev-
crythng?" Yes, my child" "Wcll,' replied
the son, 81 guess he will laugh when he sees
this STOOL"
Warren telegraph. [volume] (Warren, R.I.) 1857-1861, 1857-12-12

A young lady recently remarked with much
simplicity, that she could not understand what
her brother George Henry saw in the girls, that
ho liked them so we'll, and that for her part, she
would not give the company Of one young man
for that Of twenty girls.
Warren telegraph. [volume] (Warren, R.I.) 1857-1861, 1857-12-12

CAuroN TO FLrRTs.--Miss Hester A. Burgess
sued N. II. Wood, in Kanawhn CO., Va, recently,
for damages for breach Of promise. IL was prov
cd in evidence that tho young lady was iiirt
Warren telegraph. [volume] (Warren, R.I.) 1857-1861, 1857-12-12

Dow, Jr., says that the reason that man was
made after evory thing else. was, IL he had been
created first, he would have annoyed ths Al
mighty with endless suggestions Of improve
mCDt
Warren telegraph. [volume] (Warren, R.I.) 1857-1861, 1857-12-12

I" Ilavo you Blasted Hopes ?" asked lady Of
a green librarian, whose face was much swolIen
BY the toothachs. "No, ma'ain; but have q
blasted toothache"
Warren telegraph. [volume] (Warren, R.I.) 1857-1861, 1857-12-12

FINISHING SrrDy--Dr G. f. Washburp, ofFrc-
donia, N. ", in some excellent remarks made
at a recent medical gathering in that section,
on the duty Of physicians TO perscvere in i'm
proving their qualifications, related the follow
ing pertinent anecdctc :
The great DIR. Rush, so Justly eulogizcd by
DR.. Walworth, was busy at his writing desk one
day, when heheard'a young physician, who had
called 10 seo some stuients in the Office, remark
that il was so many months since he had finish
ed his studies. Finished your studics, did you
say. my young friends You are fortunate in
having finished them so young have not fin.
ishsd mine yet"
Warren telegraph. [volume] (Warren, R.I.) 1857-1861, 1857-12-12
BOOK AND ion Fk1isTilxd,
NEATLY szscursD A. mn
OFFICE OF THE "rxLEcRAYH"
m vA.Ious sFrLrs.
Ort REAsoryABLE rEzA&a-
The ohioe being supplied with ths
Best Materials and Experienced Werknen,
Orders will DO filed to the satisfacton Of patrons
with despatch.

"
KINDNESS TO CHILDREN Blessed be the hand
which prepares a pleasure for child for there
is no saying where and whom IL may again
bloom FORTH Does not almost everybody re-
member somo kind-icarted man who showed
him a Kindness iu the quiet days of his child
hood? The writer Of this rccoects himself at
this moment, as a barctooted lad, standing at
the wooden fence OF poor little garden in his
native village; with longing eyes no gazcd on
the flowers which were blooming there brightly
in the quietncss of Sunday morning. Thcpos-
SCISSOR came forth from his little cottagc-he was
a woodcutter by trade--and came into his gar
den to gather flower to stick in his coat when
be went to church. lie saw the boy, and break,
ing Off one of the most beautiful of his carnations
1t was streaked with red and wbite-gavc il
to him. Neither tho gfver nor the receiver
spoke one word and with bounding steps The
boy ran home, and now, here at n vast distance
from that home, after so many events Of so
many years, the feeling of gratitude which agi-
tated the breast of that boy expresses itself on
paper The carnation is long since withercd,
but now blooms afrcsh.-Douglass Jerrold
PARENTAL TEAcHiSG.-If parents would not
trust child on the back of horse without bit
or bride, let them not permit him to 20 forth
unskilled in selfgovcrnment. If child is pas
sionate, teach him by gentle means to curb his
temper. If he is greedy, cultivate libcrality in
him. lfhe is selfish, promote generosity. If he
is sulky charm him out of it by frankncss and
good humor. The is indolent, accustom him
to exertion, and train him so that even onerous
duties will be performed with alacrity pride
comes in, to make his obedience reluctant, sub
due him by counsel or discipline In short,
give your children the habit of overcoming their
besetting sins. Let them acquire from expe-
rience that confidence in themselves which gives
security to the practiccd horseman, even ON the
back of a high-strung steed, and he will triumph
over the difficulties and dangers which besct
him in the path Of life.
The true Democrat., 1857-02-10
None Exenui.

In her life of George Washington Mrs Kirk land Sves us one close view of that stately lady, Mrs. Martha Washington:
 e. If we were to give our private opinion,' says Mrs. Kirkland, we should say that Mrs. Martha Curtis Washington, with her large for. tune, her strong domestic tastes and affections, ald her dutlful common sense character, exer- csed her full share of influence over the com- mander ill-chief of the armies of the United States of America. She had d very decided way of speaking, and she never meddled in public affairs we can easily imagine the Gene ral letting her have her own way in pretty much every thing else
 "A guest of Mount Vernon happened to sleep in room adjoining that occupied by the Presi- dent and his lady. Late in the evening, when people had retired to their various chambers, he heard the lady delivering very animated lecture to her lord and master upon sometAiug which he had done, that she thought ought to be done differently. To all this he listened in the protoundest silence, and when she, too, was silent, he opened his Fps and spoke, 'now good sleep to you, my dear This anecdote of the great m all in his night cap quite characteristic of him, but 1t is equally so of most lords and masters who We imagine, ali receive curtain lectures, as MT. Candle and Washington did, in profound silence. Experience probably, teaches them that 1t Is the better way"