The day book. [volume] (Norfolk, Va.) 1857-1867, 1857-11-07
How to Collect an Old Debt.

We have known many eXpedients re-
sorted to to collect bills, but we think the
following, adopted by one Joe Harkins, is
an original one. We have a few credits
on our books against doubtful customers,
of long standing, and which we have SO
far failed to get in. We should like to
make an arrangement with some Joe Har-
kins Or other to collect the money-that
is, provided he will give us security that
he will pay it in, after he has collected it,
like an honest man. .
Old squire Tobin was slow walker,
but also slow payer. Blessed with album
dant means, he was, of course, consider
ed ultimately good for any little debt; he
contracted a habit of holding on to his
money, until forced by extra importuni-
ty to fork over.
"There goes the old squire" said
Brown, the merchant, GIVE had bill of
five dollars and fifty cents against him for
eight months, and if I have asked him for
it once, have done so twenty times; but
he has either not got it with him, or he
will call tomorrow or if not in good hui
NOR, he will swear like trooper at my
impudence in dunning him at unseasona-
bic times"
Now there was one Joe Harkins, a wag-
gsh sort of a fellow, who heard the COM
plant of merchant Brown, and resolved
upon some fun.
Come now, Brown" said Joe, "what
will you bet [ can't get the money from
the old squire before he gets homer"
ga new hat" said Brown.
Enough" said Joe.
While Brown was hunting the bill, Joe
disguised himself in striped blanket
and a slouched hat. Thus equipped, and
with the bill in his hand he took after the
squire.
''Hollo, is your name Squire Tobin ?"
1"Yes," answered the Squire, with a
snarl, "whats that to you ?"
81 have little bill, sir--collecting for
merchant Brown sir.
''Merchant Brown can go to thunder,
sir" said the Squire. GIVE no money for
him, you must call again"
Joe bowed politely; slipped round the
alley, just in time to head the old fellow
at the next corner. n
ooh, sir said Joe, stopping suddenly,
''is your name Tobin ?" ..-.
'Tobin, sir, is my name" a.. .T.r
"Helei is little bill, sir, from merchant
Brown D'r 3ss
f'zounds, sir" replied the squire,
"didn't | meet you just now around the
corner 2" a. e.
Meet me ?" replied Joe, guess it was
b., another OF Browns collectors"
'FThen, 7 suppose, merchant Brown has
two rod-striped collectors DIGGING my
steps. won't pay it, sir, to-day-be-
gone" The old squire as he said this,
brought down his stick hard upon the
pavement, and toddled on. ..rt- sH
Joe, nothing daunted, took advantage
of another alley, and by rapid move
mcnt, in a few minutes placed himself
once more in front Of the squire, The
old mans bile was making him mutter
and growl, as he walked along, now and
then giving point to his anger by very
emphaticknocks of his cane upon the side
walk. When within about twenty feet
of each other, the old squire espied his
stripped friend once more in front. Squire
Tobin stopped, and raising his cane, ex-
claimed: .a.. ...-.'..
7s ''You internal insolent puppy, what dc
you mean? ....
"Joe, affecting great establishment,
checked up within safe distance, ant
then replied" eIa- --.-77 --1s9a,.
''Mean, sir? You surprise me, sir;
don't know you" 'al e" e4' #.
"Ai'nt you merchant Browns collec
tor, that dunned me five minutes ago."