Kenosha tribune & telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1856-1859, 1857-09-03
Jeems' First Experienoe as a Gallant.

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Jeems First Experience as a Gallant.
"Jeems," of the Baldwinsvillo Gasette-tha
tall, gaunt, awkward but clever-soued morta
who presides over the columns Of that paper, an
whose "troube at Railroad Depot" at SYRIA
r cuSe have gone the rounds-gives the following
graphic account of ''the first time he went HON
with girl He says he feels impellcd to chron
lcle 1t for the amusement of the public and III
special ediheation" of certain D'cmbers of the ed
itorial fraternity, who are forever poking fun a
him. Hear "Jeems:"
|, We were between sixteen and seventeen year
of age when the event about TO be related trans
pired, and as description of our personal appear
ance at that time is absolutely essential to thC
point of our story, we will give it as concisely
as the subject will allow. In reference then L
that PERIOD to say that we were green in the usn
al acceptation of that term, would give the read
er bat poor idea of the figure we displayed
| Rather imagine tall, lean, cadaverous, swar
thy looking chap, with legs ike a pair of tongs
a countenance about as expressive as plate OF
Dutch cheese, mouth that came very near ma.
king an island OF all the head above it. a face
covered with fNrze that looked very much like
the dorm on hesciy hatched costing, with a gait
that would lead the beh0der to conclude that
we designed to travel down both sides of the
! street at the same time, and You have a correct
daguerreotype of Jeems in the Seventeenth
| year of his age.
One dark gloomy night in the month of De.
cember we Glanced to BE- r; q spelling school"
not a thousand miles from Baldwiusyille, where
our cyo first fell ON q "fary torn that imme
dIately set our susceptible heayt IN a diq-e She
was sixteen, or whereabouts, with bright eyes
red cheeks, and cherry lips, while the auburn
rlngletS clustered in a wealth of protusOn
around her beautiful head, and her person. to our
ravished Imagination, was more perfect in form
and outline, than the most faultlcss statue ever
chlseiled by the scuiptor's art. AS we gazed
our feelings, which never before had a. pred girl
ward were fully aroused, and we dete rlhined to
90 home icuh Ter that night ar perish IN the gt-
temPt. As soon, therefore, as school was dis
missed, and our ''lady love- suitably bonuetted
and cloakcd, We approached to offer our SER
vices as contemplated, and we then learned an
important lesson, viz the difference between
reSOi5iRg and djiag. As we neared her we
were seized with partial blindness-red, green,
blue, and yellow lights flashed upon our vision,
and appeared and disappeared like witches in a
phantasmagOria--our knees smOtc together like
BeiShaZzar's when he discovered the hand wri-
ting on the wall, while our heart tnumped with
apparently as much force as II it Were driving
ten-penny nails into our ribs We, in the mean
time, managed to humble over sometine which
is perhaps known to the Recording Angel, but
certainly is not % us, at the same time poking
out our elbow as nearly at right angles with
our body as our physical conformation would
admit.
The night air blew keenly which served in
some sort to revive us, and as 1ur senses re-
turned what Were our emotions on finding the
cherished object Of our first love clinong TO our
arm with all the tenacitv drowning man is
sad to clutch at straw Talk D, cIysian, or
Siding down creased rainhows, or feeding on
German flutes, " hat are sica "phclinks' in com
PdIlsoh 10 those mighty ones that sWeIicd our
p'5o'h H'g unto the bursting of our walstcoat I
oulLo"S Cnr hFppiness was sHbiime Sb1ffm"y |
S"0f".ftY SNOiiRtated, and every person who has |
ever !eit the divine throbbngs Of hedged love |
pHhG'ple, iuly understands the world OF bliss
couched In the fourth fifth, sixth and seventh
WORDS at the commencement OF this sentence.
Wen, we passed on pleasantly towards our
Saiiy's home, talking of love and dove and
dart and part, until, so courageous had we be,
come, that we actually proposed "to 90 IN aud
sit awhile" to which our Ducien very gra-
eiously assented. Alas, for us how soon were
we to he reminded that the course Of true love
never did run smooth"
Sally had q brother of some ten summers who
accompanied us along the way, and who was
i'll wonderful high spirits at the idea Of his Sis
ter,s having a beau, and he would walk around
us frequently, gigglng in the hcighth of his giee,
and cycling closely As if oUrself and Sally
were the world renowned Siamese twins, and
he was taking his first look. Bill, by the way,
was a stubbed, chuckled,headcd boy, whose ha-
bilimeuts would have made the fortune Of any
two dealers in mop-rags
At length we reached the bars and while we
were letting them down, Bill shot past us and
tore for the house as if pursued by a thousand
bulls OF Bashan. lie flung opcm the door with
a bang and exclaimed at the top Of his voice.
"Hoiher' m0tisr Jim Clark is coaia hHm
nth SaH!"
rs lie ?" screamed the old woman in reply,
cali y,' 81 L J
en0ugt!"
Special Correspondence Of the MissouritD
From Kansas-Acquit+al OF Gov. Robin