Kenosha tribune & telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1856-1859, 1857-06-18
How to Save Fifty Dollars a Year.

eight hundred a year for the house we now live
in the house wish you to occupy is only sew
en- hundred and fifty dollars, consequently you
would be a gamer of fifty dollars, and that
amount would buy you nice great coat, and
don't know how many pair of boots"
But my love" l replied, "you know we
have lease of this place, we might not let it,
and again there's the expense Of moving, there
fore, | think We had better stay where we arc "
You goose, said my wife, running up and
kissing me, we should be sure of letting It,
After much persuasion, reluctantly gave my
consent TO the hiring of new house. neat
little ticket was pasted up on the outside of our
old residence telling the world that our house
was to be let, and that they were to enquire
within.
We had no end to applications. People with
thin boots, people with thick boots, and people
with doubtful boots, and worn out gloves, called
TO view delightful residence so that at the
end of two weeks, our stair carpet was complete
" ruined
One gentleman among the number OF would
be thcantS Of our domjcile called one day, just
~ we were sitting down to dinner in an evil
hour, | invited him to join US; he accepted read
lily.
After that, he called regularly every day, gen
orally ut meal time, to enquire about trivial
things, whether the coal cellar was ali right, j:
hot and cold water was laid on the bath room,
if the stairs crealled and such like, finishing up
ty par'aking Of dinner or supper with e., as the
case might be.
He's sure to take the house, my wife said
Not he, the rascel l replied. IN kick
him ont the next time he makes his appearance
here
Ny wife objected to this summary mode OF
proceedings; so we INDUCED III a pretty liltlc
domestic quarrel.
The next day the fellow called to know if al
the doors would shut, and if all of them had
keys.
replied by planting my foot on that part Of
his anatomy where the back charges It's name.
lie then brought an action of assault and bat
tory, | lost the case, and had to PAY y heavy
fine with costs.
Three days before our departure, we were in
9 nice puddle. Al the carpets had been taken
mp. Bedsteads had been taken down, 50 we
were obliged to sleeP upon the floor. China,
glass. and crockery had been packed away, along
with the knives and forks. Kitchen utensils
Were slowed away in wash tubs. Our looking
glasses We're carefully bound up with pieces of
old carpet. The comb and brush were stuffed
into the tub that contained the saucepanS, So
that was compelled to borrow the servants.
Even my own wearing apparel Were made away
with, aud was left with an old boot Snd short !;
as for a clean shirt that was an impessibiity.
We had regular meal time, things were topsy-
turvey generally, SO that much TO the inds-
nation Of my wife--took my dinner down town.
Returning home ono evening, after dinner with
some friends, found my wife seated oil u roll of
oil cloth. and in tears.
WHATS the matter, my love I enquired.
80 away &c back to your des0latc cUmpau-
ions = was the answer
Seeing that a nice little storm was brewing,
and wishing to avoid it, l said:
Come there IS dear, don't be foolish encir-
.ltor
Ugh How you smell of smoke, said my
wife, with fresh burst OF tears and rccoiling
from ne.
l saw it was no use, trying to effect q calin SO
| sat myself down on the edge of the piano, and
patiently waited the result. had not long to
wait.
IT'S no use telling me-
Telling you what, my dear2 / meekly ask
ed.
My wife PAID no attention to my question but
continued her remarks, sobhing the while III a
very hyStcrical manner If vou don't love me-
say so, and let me go home 20 my fathers; I'm
stu
Clara iClara is my wife's Christian namc)
Clara! sni2 intemupting her, aud with some
dignity, Il am ashamed of you, what is the
meaning of this nonsense p
There, there oh yes OF course It's nonsense,
shall not be allowed to speak, shortly. Why
did you marry ME then if | am foolish? 2
Clara =
DO be quiet, sir, and le: me have chance to
vindicate myself from your base assertions.
| spoke not word.
Il think its very--yery mean of you to make
me work my fingers to the bone, while you g?
cut and have your dinners, and--and your wins
and all that Here my wife began to sob con-
i don't believe you have the least
spark of feeling le.t. Any-any other man
would have come home and helped me pack
these--these horid things. What made you
want TO move dare say you viii want me to
wash the clothes, and GET up your shirts soon
bat [ wont DO il, there What are you sitting
Down there Tor like a IHtunat,, why don. you
spe:E =
My dear, to- morrow morning, when you are
yonrs.lj again, viii tails with yoll not before
So saying l went TO he'd, or rather 10 he Nat
trass On the floor.
Ny wife kept up the fire some lite time. but
finding made no reply, came to my SIDE, aud
sohbed herself to sleep
/ merely mention the above tte cpissde to
show one of the many things | mad TO endure in
TO save tify dollars year
The day Tor removal cane at last. THAN
goodness | calculated, thinking our froub cs
were over now. Poor, weak. sii.y deluled cgea
.ure!
l need not tell how many things were broken,
how many things lost, nor how eXhoibitant / he
carmen were, nog how the liIu,Ynian gentleman
were called in 70 assist, pUt lie wash Tub CON
tanning tho kitchen utensils nigh, III the centre
Of Our best mirror, brcahiL,, t III 20 atoms
Suffice it, that ali Our tu.ngs-a&lJiuZ those
that were lost and brohen-wherc ~ our uew
house, and taat ouf Old house remained uuie;
How glad am it is al over said M wife.
amen responded /.
I'm sure this house is worth al the trouble
We have undergone
"a
| felt sadly inclined 70 be ironical, but would
not dash my wifc's spirits so l refrainsd.
We felt hungry, so VIC ex!emporized a meal
cut OF some scraps of bread, cheese, and ham
bone carving it with the only available instru-
nent, viz my best razor.
1 quite enjoy this, said my wife.
SO do H. was about to say, but only got as
sar as So when We were startled by hearing q
scream, ernanating from our son Tommy, who
was roaming about looking al, and admirins ey-
erything in the new house.
Goodness gracious kwhat's the matter now p
md l bo.ted from the room, followed by nay
wife,
Our now landlord, obliging soul, had under
aiken 70 have the house reprinted entirely, but
iad not had sufficient time to finish the Job, be
ore we took possession. So that among other
greeable incidents the basement was occupied
" number OF young fellows in painting gar
nents and paper caps, who whistled, Il hate
yhistiing while they piled their brushes and Used
auguage which was 30 fax from being chased
md refined, that had really to blush OCCASION
.llv hen my wife was within hearing
Master Tommy got in trouble, on this account
lie was making scientific exploration in the
over regions Of the house, with laudable in
cntion OF pursuing the search of knowledge
under difficulties, for Tom is a child Of an exceed
ns y inquiring turn of mind In the course OF
rs peregrinations, he contrived to upset a pot
# green paint, of ladder, and received the |
.reater part OF the contents upon his unluci1y |
Iead, from which, it ran down in copious !
tIeams, presenting a singular though hardly /
greeable contrast of color, and totally running |
rs jacket.
We washed his hair with turpentine and pnn-