The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1857-06-09
From the Philadelphia Gazette.

:, This is cmphatically the age of finery.-
We arc all running away after appearances.
Instead of striving to obtain the best, we are
content with the nearest cheap imitation of
it. We have abandoned realities, and are
grasping at their shadows. We say, what is
the use of paying great price for sterling
article, when we can get something that
looks just like it for little one? So, We
take the sham and reject the genuine, and
then pat ourselves on the back for our sbrewd.
ness and economy. We have got the glitter
who cares for the gold? The old proverb is
musty and behind the age. We have run so
far ahead Of it's fogyism in our fast way of
doing things, as to have discovered that it is
the glitter which makes the yaluc of the
medal, and not the solidlty and purity of the
gold.
We build houses made of fine brown stone
fronts made of brick, and covered with paint
ed and ,sanded plaster, marked off into sham
blocks; we enter them through oaken or wal
nut doors made Of grained pine, and pass
through vcstibules foored with marble mosa-
ic made of baked clay, and sit down on ve
nered sofas before scagliola marble chimney
pieces and mantles made Of enamelcd iron.-
Over sach mantles we place mirrors in gilt
frames, enriched with elaborate carving made
of compositions pressed in mouds and stuck
on with glue. In one room we hang humid
red dollar water cole. 31lawlrgs, that is to
say, printed limitations which cost ive-and
in another, handsome book cases covered with
mahogany faces and pine bodies, rilling tho
lower shelves with books, and the upper with
richly bound blocks of wood, of assorted Sizes
Our daughters wear expensive point lace
adornments, 1--WE know not their names nor
do We know much about point lace, except
that it is somc sort of net work of fabulous
cost,) made of some more economical matcri-
al, and washed in some way which is pro,
found secret, so rs to give them the yellowish
tint supposed to mark the genuine article
They wear Canton Grape shawls which John
Chinaman never saw, and Cashmere shawls
manufactured at Paisley, and India silks that
never passed the Equator, and furs that wo'd
astonish the animals whose names they bear,
if they could sec them. When they, (tho
daughters, that is,) when they arc married,
we give grand weddings, displaying tables
filled with extravagantly expensive bridal
gifts; sets Of gold and silver spoons, forks, fruit
knives, tea services, necklaces, bracelets, DC; /;
touching tributes of affection from dear friends
who arc on our visiting list, and have been
invited to the ceremony; and which, after
the parade is over, are carefully packed up
and-returncd to the jewelcr from whom VIC
hired them. (This sham is going little out
Of fashion since some ndiscret persons ex-
posed it.) But they still wear sham flowers
in their bonnets-that is in the little straw or
velvet caps they use to cover their back hair
when in the strcet-and sham braids of hair
on their heads in front Of the aforesaid bon
nets.
We scan the performers at the opera thro'
lorgnettes, hired at twenty five cents night,
with deposit for their safe return, as nom
chalantly as if they belonged to us. We
ride about in carriages hired by the year,
coachman with velvet hat-band, big buckle,
and large capped coat included, all got up in
elaborate style. We build churches with
stone fronts and brick sides, decorated on the
outside with carved stone brackets and corni-
ces, made of painted wood or clay, and on
tho inside with wall paper panels, and paint
cd rcccsses, and pilasters and moudings half
Of whose shadows always fall the wrong way
by daylight, and by gas light become 'confu-
sion confounded.' We stick all manner of
plaster gimcrackcry over tho wall. and cell
ing. We paint deep alcovc behind the pull
pit, and then ncutralize the effect by putting
o sofa against tho wall where it is painted
so that when the preacher sits down ho has
the contradictory appearance of resting his
head against wall which is supposed to be
ten feet in his rear, and maintaining all tho
while his upright position. 1t confuscs our
ideas of proportion and perspective dreadful
ly. We show the most laudable alacrity in
assisting all benevolent enterprises, and get
ourselves called to preside at meetings held
to organize them, with the greatest enthusi
asm. We rise with overflowng hearts to
make few unprecedented remarks, got up
by rotc the day before; head subscriptions
with liberal sums, which are not to be called
for, in order to induce somebody else to sub
scribe n similar sum. which is to be called for,
and furnish the reporters of tho morning pa
pcrs with copy of our speech, together
with the proceedings of the meeting and tho
names of the officers.
We turn our eyes with edifying conscious
ness at the idea Of shaving ten per cent from
proinlssory note, and turn them down again,
complacently, and prick up our ears at tho
offer of a ground rent or mortgag> at the
same discount; because you sec, that is n
different thing; it is at is-that is, you
know-there is difference--whcn you take
real estate security, you-a-a-a-it is-so;
you seo-a-a-a.'to be sure; not doubt Of it,
nothing could be clearer.
Then we write elaborate art criticisms, pro-
fusely illustrated (by the aid of Glossary
with learned technicalities, such as breadth,
tone, warmth, chiaro-scuro, perspective, lights,
touch, foreground, middle distance, atmos-
phcric effects, intcspcrsed with great deal
Of cant about handling, style, execution,
composition, idealism, lovely bits of distance,
&c, Of the meaning Of all which We have as
accurate perception as school boys, with
impcrfectly developed mathematical organs,
have of what the dreaded Pons Asinorum is
all about when they have got through saying
Il soff tho book >