The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1857-07-14
The Old BarhelOr's Regi,ter from Sixteen "a
SiNty.F

Sixty. -Four.
At 10 years, incipient palpiiations arc man
festcd toward the young ladies.
II. Steals his fathers razor and latherbo,
TO shave before going to singing school
where he expects TO meet a particular
young lady.
Is. Is angry if treated as n boy by the Ia
dies.
10. Is quite beau, and practices killing
ways before the looking glass.
20. Is the pcron when puppyism makes its
severcst attack.
q. Thinks no woman on earth good enough
for him.
%. Spends his evenings in oyster saloons
boasting Of the number of girls that arc in
love with him.
%. Goes little in the society Of virtuous
females and sows his crop of wild oats.
"a. Contracts n real passion for some young
lady, and is accepted.
25. The connection is lroken off in conse-
quence Of self concct on his part.
26. Pays his visits to another lady, and
takes great pains to walk with her by tho
window of his former love.
27. The object Of his second attachment is
cruelty abandoned.
%. Sows another crop of wild oats.
20. Talks doubtinely about female virtue.
80. Makes up his mind never TO marry.
81. Falls violently in love with young
widow, and rccnts.
80. TO his wonder and amazcmcnt he is re-
jcctcd.
33. Mind still musing on the beautiful wild
ow, wonders who could have pmjudced
her against him, and means TO shoot HIM
self
"a. Rails against the fair sex generally, but
throws tender glanccs at his washer woman,
whom he thinks is rather pretty.
35. Flirts with married ladies. and cultivatcs
the confidence and friendship of their hus-
bands.
3G. Complains that his lady acquaintance
are too numerous, and absorb too much Of
his time.
a. liz f." fs"9 a9m becomes a pocket handker-
36. A very largo nuhbtSifi' btii'' 81 WIDOWS call at
his office to barrow small sums of money.
so. He begins again to think Of matrimony.
40. Falls desperately in love with young
girl of seventeen, who has n remarkably
developed bust, and an immense head Of
hair.
Al. Au dernicr despair, another refusal.
AZ. His moral becomes lax again. and he
spends his days mostly in the society Of
mon in eating and drinking.
43. Gouiy symptoms make their appear
ance.
A.. Resolves to abstain from vino and big
dinners.
As. Back to his old habits again.
4G. A fresh budding Of matrimonial ideas.
AZ. Another young widow perplcxcs him.
4S. Resolves to address her with unmin-
glcd sensation of love and interest.
40. Interest prevails. which causes much
cautious reflection.
so. Which tic widow s.os, and jilts him,
being rs cautious MS himself
81. Now rapidly grows aycrsc TO all idea of
matrmony.
So. Gouty and nervous symptoms become
more violent.
SO. Fears what will become cf him ms he
gets older aud more infrm.
54 Thinks living alone very irksome.
55. Resolves to keep house and get nice,
prudent young woman rs house keeper.
So. Much pleased with his house keeper as
nurse.
81. Begins to feel more attachment to her.
SO. Is in great distress how TO act.
SO. Is completely under the influence, and
very wrelched
60. She informs him that her reputation Is
suffering in tho neighborhood and refuses
to live any longer with him solus.
6I. Is panied TO The heart at the idea OF
parting with her.
90. Gouiy, nervous, and bilious symptoms
becoming alarming.
63. He calls her TO his bed side and prom
iscs to many her.
64. Grows rapidly worse, makes his will in
her favor, sends for the doctor and dies.
JUVENILE WIT.-An old physician was
declaring in our hearing the other day, upon
the propensity which majority Of people
display in eating unripe fruit and vegetables
Said he: There is not a vegetable growing
in our gardens that is not best when arrived
at maturity, aud most of them arc positively
injurious unless fully ripe
know one thing Il at amt so good wher
it's ripe as It's when it is green, interrupted I
little boy, in very confidential but modes
manner.
What's that9 sharply said the physician
vexed at having bis principles disputed by
mere boy.
"A cucumbcrr responded the lad.
The doctor winked vt us with both eye
but said nothing.
You've GIRL MIssISe.-A grand daughte
of Mr.. Phineas p. Fox, Of Stockbridgr, in thi
county, has been missing since the 10Th da,
of May last. AS well as can be asccrtaincd
she went to Detroit, though nothing definite
has yet been heard Of her. She is fourteen
years Of age. is very good locking has blac|
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