The Wyandot pioneer. (Upper Sandusky, Ohio) 1853-1868, 1857-04-09
9Dit mn as Il III 7

II " Y ~ 70 u ~ Y !
Ii. you want to sleep quietly, don't
praise another woman while your wife is
undressing for bed.
"You see how bald am. and l don't
wear wig
"True. sir" replied the servant, but
an empty barn requires no thatch!"
Ifyou want to kiss pretty giEl. why
kiss her-if you can. 1t pretty girl
wants to kiss you, why let her-like
man.
The man who is fond of stalking his rep
utation upon the smallest trifles, general
ly retires from the contest before he is
called on to deposite his stake.
eHow late is it?' "Look at boss and
see if he IS drunk yet;if be isn't it can't be
very much after eleven" "Does he keep
good time?'' Splendid! they regulate
the town clock by his nose"
The editor Of the !" wiring and 7soist''
says he has seen the contrivance which
our lawyers use when they swarm up
with the subject" He Hemerely says. sits
glass consarn, and holds about pint.
Said Dinah TO Sambo, as they were TAX
ing loving promenade. whats your
pinion bout de married life? tink it be
de most happiest?'' '.Well. I tell you, dat
ar pend altogedder how dey enjoy dem
selves"
A Miss Steed, a lady of brief stature,
having lately married a man by the name
of Curry, after weeks acquaintance,
Brown remarked thatit was an exemplif-
cation Of the old proverb-'sa short horse
is soon curried.''
Why arekisses like the creation? Ans.
Because they are made out of nothing
and are very good.
1.-THE perpetrator of the above was SEN
fenced to kiss fifteen young ladies as
punishment for his offence, He took the
matter very coolly, saying that he censid-
cred kissing capital punishment. @
FAsu1oHABLE-Al little girl at school
read thus: "The widow lived on small
limbacy, left her by a relative"
] "What did you call that word?" asked
the teacher, the word is legacy, not linn
bacy."
''But, Miss Johnson" said the little
girl "Pa says I must say limb, not leg"
CoNUNDRUM.-"My dear sir, said our
friend Drumslicks to young married
gentleman who had just been made to feel
the joys of paternity, "my dear sir, can
you tell me in what your present status
varies from that Of the same individual
one year ago." "Can'tsay that can,
Drumsticks., II will tell you. One
year ago you were sig1ing louer-noW
you are looing sire. y
New READ1NG.-A correspondent of
the Utica Herald elegantizes the familiar
quotation--"There is something rotten in
Denmark" after this fashion, -..There is
no sortof doubt that there is something
slightly decayed in that kingdom which
has Copenhagen for its capital.
DoN'T LIKE TIA small boy heard a
parson preach sermon from these words
eye must be born again, which was FREE
quently repeated during the discourse.
The little hearer paid strict attention to
all that was said, and particularly to the
text.
After he returned lie became melan-
choly.-H His father observed it and inquir-
ed the cause. The boy told him thatthe
preacher said he must be born again.
"Well, my son." replied the father,
"why do you cry about i'll"
"0h,, said the boy. I'm SO afraid that
next time I'll be gall"
"Hans, where was you born?'
s.On de Halderbrack.. !.
"What- always?"
"Yaw, and before too?''
GLOW old are you them" 49,
"When the school house was built, ]
was two weeks more nor a year, what is
painted red as yer go home NIT yer back
behind yer-on de right hand side by de
old blacksmith shop what stands where il
was burnt next year, will be two weeks. .
BOARDING HOUSE SCENE Margery,
what did you do with that tallow Mr..
Jones creased his boots with yesterday
morning?"
'Please, marm, baked the griddle
cakes with it,
LUCKY you did. miss. Thought you
had wasted it."
Miss Ann Tiquity is said to be the old
est female known in history. - Boston
Star.
Pshaw! she amt near as old as Aunty
acknowledgements Journal
Both old, to be sure. But didn't Ann
Terror precede them?-Bo Times.
a r ! Fr m