Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1857-11-11
ROMANCE OF REAL LIFE.

There was fine old General once, who, hav-
ing spent most Of his life in the field Of Mars,
knew very little about the camp Of Cupid. He
was one of those rough and honest spirits often
met with in his gallant profession innocent as
an infant Of almost everything save high integ
rity and indOmitable bravery He was nearly
fifty years old, and his tolls were over when
master Dan brought him acquainted with q
widow Wadman, in whose eye he began to de-
tect something that made him feel uneasy.
Here was the result Of leisure ait ..
At length, however, the blunt honesty of his
disposition rose uppermOst among his conflict
ing plans, and his course was chosen At
school be had once studied ''Othello's Defence
to recite at an exhibition, but made q failure
he now resollected there was something in this
defence to recite. very much like what he want
ed to say. He got the book Immediately, found
the passage, clspped on his hat with de-
tsrmined air, and posted off to the widow Wad-
mans with Shakespeare under his arm
Madame, said General Uncle Toby OPEN
ing his book at the marked place, with the
solemnlty OF special plcader at the bar
Madam
:" Rude am in my speech,
And little bless d with the set phrase of peace
For since these arms Of mine had seven wears NTH
I'LL now some nine moons wasted, they have used
Iheir dearest action in the tented field;
And little OF this great world can 4 speak
More than pertains to feast Of broil ond battle;
And therefore,
Here the General closed the book. wiped his
forehead, looked up at the ceiling, and said
ried -
The widow laughed for ten minutes by the
watch before she could utter a syllable and
then she said, with precious tears of humor
rolling down her good d-natured cheeks, "And
who Is II you want to marry, General?"
Iou." said Uncle Toby, iourishing his
sword arm In the air, and assuming n military
attitude OF defiance, as if he expec ed an as
sault from the widow Immediately
g Will you kill me if marry YOU ?" said
the widow, with a merry twinkle in her eve.
No, madam :" replied Uncle Toby, in a
most serious and deprecating tone, as if to as
sure her that such an idea had never entered
his head
Well, then, guess I'll marry you,' said
the widow.
Thank you, ma am" said Uncle Toby:
" but one thing am bound to tell you'll wear
a wig.
The widow started. remained silent q mo-
ment, and then went into a longer louder and
merrler laugh than she had INDUCED in before
at the end of which she drew her seat nearer
the General, gravely laid her hand on his head,
gently Hfted his wig of and placed it on the
table
General Uncle Toby had never known fear
In hot battle, but he now felt decisive incli-
nation to run away. The widow laughed again
IS though she never would stop, and the Gen
eral was about to lay his hat upon his denuded
head and bolt, when the faeetious lady placed
her hand upon his arm and detained him She
then deliberately raised her other hand TO her
own head, with a sort Of military precision,
executed a rapid maneuver with her fi Q fin
gers, pulled of her whole head of fine glossy
hair, and placing it upon the table by the side
OF the Generals, remained seated with Iudic-
rous gravity, in front of her accepted lover.
quite bald
sSAs may be expected, Uncle Toby now laughed
along with the widow, and they soon grew so
merry over the affair that the maid servant
peeped through the key-hole at the noise and
saw the old couple dancing jig and bobbing
their bald pates at each other like a pair of
Chinese mandarins So the two very shortly
laid their heads together upon the pillow of
mstrinOny.