The Wyandot pioneer. (Upper Sandusky, Ohio) 1853-1868, 1857-07-02
'4Bit NM 15u III ar.
RI = -,l....;.o oncedote is not bad:

hod barrel of ale deposited in his room
-contrsry to usage. He received sum
mons to appear before the president, who
said
aSir--I am iaformed that you have a
barrel Of ale in your room.
"Yes, sir. {"
"Well. what explanation can you
make?'
why. the fact is. sir. my physician
advises me to try little each day, as a
tonic. and not wishing to stop at the va
rious places where the beverage is retail
ed. | concluded to have barrel taken to
my room"
''Indeed. And have you derived any
benefit from the use ofit?"
"Ah, yes sir When the barrel was
FIRST taken into my room. two days since,
could scarcely lift it. Now | can carry
it with the greatest ease"
We believe the witty student was dis
charged without any special reprimand.
Grandpa. where do people get their
fashions from ?" ,,
From Philadelphia"
"Where do the Philadelphia people
get them from ?"
From England"
"Ah and where do t& English get
them from ?"
"From France"
"But where do the French get them
from 2"
"Why, right straight from the devil
to be sure there now stop your noise"
One day at farm house, wag saw
an old gobler trying to eat the strings of
some night-caps that lay on the grass to
bleach. THAT" said he, sis what I
call introducing cotton into Turkey"
POPULAR FALLAcrEs.-Thatc cream can
dyis made of cream.
That city milk comes from cows.
That qualifications are necessary to OF
tain Office.
That money can be made at faro
bank.
Why is a gunsmith's shop like chick
en-potpie? Because they both contain
fowl-in-pieces.
Why is pigs tail ike carving knife?
Because it is fourished over ham.
"Jack, your wife is not SO pensive as
she used to be-"
"Well, humph-no. she left that off
and turned expensive"
"THE FAT OF THE LAND. Ladies that
you have to hug twice before you can put
circle round them.
A good joke, says the Syracuse Stan-
dard is related of Miss G., laughter-lov-
ing, good lass, who was spend
ing the afternoon with neighbor, and
during supper the conversation turned to
hens, DC. Miss G. observed that her
hens did not lay scarcely any eggs, and
she could not tell the reason. "Wny,"
observed Mr.. p, "my hens lay very
well. / go out among them almost every
day and get eggs.' "Gracious !! >" was
the instant rejoinder, wish you would
come over to our house, and run with
our hens spell, I'm sure father would
pay you well for your trouble" She'll
do.
Sonny, does your father take pa
per? "Yes, sir. two of them One
Of them belongs to Mr.. Smith, and the
other to Mr.. Thompson. 1 hooks them
off the stoop."
The CELESTIAL STArE.-Old Rickets
was man of labor, and had little or no
{ time to devote to speculations for the fu-
ture. He was withal, rather uncouth in
the use oflanguage.
One day. while engaged in stopping up
holes about his place, he was approached
by colporteur, and presented with a
tract.
"What is all this about demanded Rick
et."
"That, sir, isl book describing the ce-
lestial state," was the reply.
Celestial state" said ricketts,. '.Where
the deuce is that?"
- "My worthy friend, 1 fear that you have
no.
"Well, never mind" interrupted Rick
cts; II don't, want to hear about any bet
ter State than old Pennsylvany. I intend
to9iye and die right here, If / can only
keep them darned hogs out"
A CHANGE OF OPINION Chicago
Democrat says there is colored man in
that city named Clark, formerly OF
Poughkeepsie, New York, who holds a
passport under the hand of the Secretary
of State, with theg great seal Of the nation
attached, which declares that he is citi-
zen oft United States and guarantees
him protection wherever the flag of our
Union may float. Mr.. Grey also holds a
- a