Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1857-08-05

fl-thought that you went to the flasners 10 ulh'
| - ner!"
So did," l replied, "but the dinner is swal'
lowed,
And digested, I trust, for It's now nine and
more,
So being relieved from that duty, followed
Inclination, which led me, you. see, to your
! door,
And now will your ladyship so condescend
As Just to inform me if you intend
Your beauty, and graces, and presence to lend
| (All which, when own, l hope no one will
borrowD
To the Stuckups', whose party, you know, is to-
morrow"
The fair Flora looked up with pitiful air,
And answered quite promptly, why Harry,
mon cher,
1 should like above all things to go with you
there;
But really and truly--Ive nothing to wear"
"Nothing to wearl Go just as you are,
Wear the dress you have on, and you'll be by
| engage, the most bright and particular star
On the Stuckup borizon'-I stopped, for her eye,
Notwithstanding this delicate onset OF fattery,
| Opened on me at once most terrible battery
| Of scorn and amazement. She made no reply,
| But gave slight turn to the end OF her nose
| (That pure Grecian feature,s sas much as to
say,
SHOW absurd that any sane man should suppose
That lady would 90 to a ball in the clothes,
No matter how fine, that she wears every day -
So ventured again-HWear your crimson bro
cade,"
,fp NTbof1c tOO 1ark hU
shade"
"Your blue silk"-"That's too heavy"
"Your pink"-"That's too light"
"Wear tulle over satin"-"I can't endure white. y
"Your rose-colored, then, the best ofthe batch. ="
81 haven't thread of point lace to match"
"Your brown moire antique"-"Yes, and look
like Quaker"
"The pearl-colored-'I would, but that plaguey
dressmaker
Has had it week'-"Then that exquisite lilac,
In which you would melt the heart OF Shylock.
(Here the nose took again the same elevation)
II wouldn't wear that for the whole OF crea-
tion"
"Why not9 It's my fancy, there's nothing could
strike it
AS more CONNIE IL taut'-"Yes but dear me,
that lean
sophronia Stuckup has got one just like il,
And wont appear dressed like chit of six
teen"
"Then that splendid purple, that sweet Maza-
rine;
That superb pointed d'ague, that imperial
green, =,
That zephyr-like tarleton, that rich grenadine."
s'Not one of all which is fit to be seen,"
Said the lady, becoming excited and flushed.
"Then wear" exclaimed, in tone which quite
crushed
Opposition, "that gorgeous toilette which you
sported
In Paris last Spring, at the grand presentation,
When you quite turned the head OF the head
of the nation;
And by all the grand court were SO very much
courted."
The end of the nose was portentously tlppeo
up,
And both the bright eyes shot forth indignation,
AS she burst upon Inc with the herce exclama-
ton,
81 have worn it three times at the least calcu-
lation,
And thatand the most ofmy dresses are ripped
up!"
Here ripped out something, perhaps rather rash,
Quite innocent, though; but to use an express
sion :.
More striking than classic, it ''settled my hash,
And proved very soon the last act OF our
session. -.
uFiddlesticks. is it, sir2 wonder the ceiling
Doesn't fall down and crush you-oh, you men
have no feeling,
Won selfish unnatural. illiberal creatures,
who set Yourselves up Us patterns and preachers,
Yonr s;Iv pretence-why what mere guess it
Pray, what do you know of a woman's necessi-
I have told You and shown you Tve nothing to
wear
And it's perfectly plain you not only don't care,
But YOU do not believe me' (here the nose went
still higherD =,
81 suppose if YOU dared you would call me liar,
Our engagement is ended, sir-yes on the spot;
Yn,re q brute and monster, and-l don't
know what"
mildly suggested the words-Hottentot,
Pickpocket. and cannibal, Tarter and thief,
A. GENTLE expletives which might give relief;
Bnt this only proved as spark to the powder,
And the storm l had raised came faster ana
louder,
1t blew and it rained, thr'ndered, hghtened anu
hailed ;.
Interiections verbs, pronouns till language quite
failed
To express tile abusive, and then its arrears
We're brought up all at once by torrent OF
And NV last faint, dcspairing attempt at an obs
Ervation was lost in a tempest of sobs.
Well felt for the lady, and felt for my hat,
1r,nrov;Sed @ On the crown of the latter tattoo,
,n In len Of expressing the feelings which lay :,
o. ou;te ie too deep for words, as Wordsworth would
Then without going through the form of bow,
Fnund Iru myself in the entry-Iliardly knew how
On GU" doorstep and sidewalk, past lamp-post and
+ home % and up stairs, in my own easy chair;
pnked INV feet into slippers,my fireinto blaze