Republican vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1857, 1857-02-14
Advertising for a Hu.band,

~
advertised for husband. limiting. of course.
at a fortune and a handsome person. Sb
had over one hundred replies, and then call.
ed in five female friends to consult upon and
devise mode procedure. The billet-doux
were divided among the council, and eacL
was to make an appointment with the writers
for the next Saturday, at four o'clock, at
the saloon of a restaurant in Broadway
The story is admirably told, but before be-
lieving every word Of it. we must ask de-
duction as to the number of the hoaxed
We might go dozen, but hundred and
twenty, as the Spirit has it, is little .'too
steep The Spirit says:
1T was agreed that the whole six should
be present at the interview, and that each
should wear the exact costume prescribed
for the inanorata whom the signing SWANS
would be there to see On the other hand
the gentlemen were directed to appear in all
the varieties of attire and position which fe-
male ingenuity and mischief could devise,
One was requested to wear a blue coat and
bright buttons; another, buff vest; another
was to have drab unmentonables; another,
ChaiiFs CATERS; another, to sport lilac
glove; another, blue scarf; one gentleman
was to have his hair parted in the middle;
another was to lean his cheek pensiyely up
Oh his hand; another was to fold his arms;
another, to lean back frequently, with his
chair slightly on tilt; another, to spread
his handkerchief across his knee; another,
to lay his cane over the corner of the table;
another, to have hat with fresh white lin
ing; another, drab wde-awake, and an
other cap. Then, again, one was to be
eating Charlotte Russo; another was to be
indulging III plate of duck; another, an lee
cream; and, we might as well say it, one
swain, who wrote peculiarly delicate hand
ed note, was requested to be immersed III
the awful mysteries OF plate of pork ard
besns'-'a dish which, said the ingenious
writer who dictated it, you can scarcely ex-
lpect will be called for by anybody else
At four o'clock on the prescribed Satur
day afternoon, in every chair and at every
table on the lower side ofthe upstairs saloon
were sickloohing, highly-perfumed Leanders
secretly cursing the luck which wedged him
closely out of the killing positions and dis
play which he had meditated ever since he
got his note. And how the dishes smoked
and the wondering waters few. Even the
Iperplexed landlord, amazed at this miracu
lens flow of business, wss obliged to drop
his own mutton chop, and call out the fore
GIFTS entire establishment to meet the CLAM
orous, il not threatening, demands of gen
ltlamen, who feared that they might not get
their telegraphic plate Of duck, or mess Of
pork and beans.
In degree. as the shortening minutes
kept creeping closer and closer to the hour
the rustic that was heard coming up the
staircase, was the signal for the fash of one
hundred and twenty-one white faces in that
direction AT length four o'clock struck,
and though just at that moment no lady APP
ipeared rising from the stairs, an indescriba-
ble sound Of anxiety pervaded the entire
room, like that made by congregation ris-
ing from prayer, Or what Irving describes
as the indescribable falling Of snow. Every
hat was in its exact place, every cane and
handkerchief was properly displayed. and
every gaiter-whether on IA huff or pettitoe
was layishly turned out for the admiring
inspection of The myth of the matrimonial
column.
AT length the clash of sheen and click
of stiff skirts was heard coming up the stairs;
Ione minute after four, and an iaaD,oruta
appeared, dressed in dark green, with deep
fur cape and abundant dropping lace She
was wafered on the back of the head with
an infnitesimal bonnet, and carried in her
hand the magic drift of cambria. whose
IShakspearian Strawberries intimated that she
was size. When she appeared the sensation
was universal: the gentleman with the buff
YES; threw open his coat to the extreme the
gentleman in the blue and the bright but
tons buttoned his coat entirely to the chin;
the gentleman who was to lean backwards
frequently commenced fitting like Chinese
mandarin; the gentleman with the pork and
beans became vociferous for more beans;
while those who had duck. &e., were equally
clamorous in complaining of the undue full
fllment of their orders.
Never was there such sudden clamor
heard in that usually well-regulated up
stairs saloon beforehand, by-the-bye, never
did it subside more suddenly than when
new brush of skirts was heard coming up
the stairs. All the Lotharios were once more
in position, when 10. another Cordelia, in all
respects the reflex of the first, appeared,
bearing the film of strawberries as chal-
lenee in her hand, & sweeping with it, ike
Juno, to seat near the location of the
first. II is needless to say that the sensa-
ton was now extreme. Some Of the gentle
men who were to part their hair in the mid
die began, however, to look less furiously
al other gentlemen who had their hair part
ed IN the same way, as much as to say,
We'll, there is one for each Of us, anyhow.
But most of the party seemed more troubled
than before. A pause of some minutes sue
ceeded before any new appearances took
place, during which time the Lotharios were
engaged in displaying their points to the
best advantage; and some, more ardent than
the rest, pulled cut the various colored notes
they had received, and either pretended to
read them Or laid them conspicuously on
the table. There's one of my fellows with
the blue note, said Mystery No. l over her
spoonful of soup, to Mystery No 2. There's
one Of mine, " said Cordelia the second he's
got pink note What do you think Of
Augustus, there, with the pork and beans
before him, who is so pensively leaning his
cheek upon his hand?' said Myth the first;
but before the answer could be given, APP
partitions three and four appeared, and hard