Kanawha Valley star. [volume] (Charleston, Va. [W. Va.]) 1856-1861, 1857-03-03
The Model Editor.

Kisses his wife and then the babies all
round land seats himself at the table,
after washing and shaving in cold
water, with smiling countenance-
unless his lips are chapped. Com
plains that the bread is too light and
delicious, and the coffee is so delec-
table that it shall have a puff in his
paper. Eats everything with agood
relish, and compliments his wife sew
eral times during the meal. Bids
her an effectionate good bye, with ans
other kiss. all around goes with d
light heart to his Office. Apoligises
to his Office boy because there is no
tire--likewise smilingly informs him
that the Office has not been swept.
Takes it very kind of the office boy
not to be sauey in reply. Sends for
his exchanges, and lays them obi
ginSly open on table, for the use or
his friends aud the public generally
His clerk tells him he has made ALT
lie mistake, by which the Office will
lose a hundred dollars. Editor blunt
ly requests him not to doit again, as
it is iacc,apenie,st to- lose money
Devil calls for copy !; editor hands
.himthe package of u .'model contri-
butor," tied up with blue ribbon;
devil pockets the ribbon, and tells
him he is green editor pockets the
insult. Musical director calls to know
it the editor will transfer puff of SIX
columns, and accept a ticket at half
price,. Editor obligingly remarks
that he shall be happy to do so. -
Musical director wants to know il he
will writea puff of the concert before
hand ;1editor intimates that he will
be happy to do s1H Musical director
would like him to furnish one hun
dred and sixty copies Of The paper !;
editor says Ire shall be happy to DO
so. Musical director wishes to know
if he will loan him his desk, pen,
ink and paper, and postage stamp !.
polite editor intimates that he shall
be happy to do SO, (by standing mp
three quarters ofsan hour, while must
cal director writes six letters and
endeavoring to read a paper. mp side
down. Musical director takes his
leave with three bows, the last one
nearly overturning. a lady who is en-
tering the door. Lady bushes and
looks very interesting sits down and
takes ont. her handkerchief. Lady
prepares to cry. and editor becomes
sympathetic. Lady says she has lost
her all, and has six children besides,
dependent on her exertions. Editor
feels fatherly. Lady declares that she
caniwork at nothingelse but writing,
and takes ont manuscript five yards
long, goodfneasurement,) letting fall
a. few tears, as she asks if the editor
will correct all mistakes. Editor
says certainly" and. tries to read.
but cannot, because there is not cap
ital letter IN MSS, In fact he sees at
tirsti is Eota capital thing, but can't
bear to hurt her feelings. Lady re-
lieves herselfby a few more tears, and
asks the editor if he can advance a
few dollars for her immediate wants.
Editor says lie shall be happy to, and
pays the money over. Lady dissolyes
in tears, and EDITOR places MSS. on
tile fire. ~ .,. - -.
The model editor reads his ex-
changes--if any are left by noon
patiently. Like a man diving down
through tile ocean to find a solitary
pearl; SO lie dives into. the sen Of
ink. to find solitary idea; and when
found, he-adopts it. Nobody is go
ing to hunt through FIVE hundred ex-
changes, to see if he has ever read it
before. While he is thus busy, he
divides his attention between two
politicians, four duns, twenty new
subs eribers, sixteen stoppages, three
moral. reformers, sin Irish women
who wants to wash the windows, four
candy girls, three applicants for work,
fifteen contributors, forty-six letters,
thirteen calls for more copy, five visits
from the foreman to find ont difficult
words, one complimentary visit from
country cousins, enc call from 2 lee
turer, two applicants for husbands,
three agents of new pictorials, the
publisher of the directory, nine boys
with new music, and sixteen recent
volumes, besides any number Of ac-
qnaintances requesting the loan Of an
exchange.
Model editor feels hungry three
hours after dinner time, and concludes
to eat something. Goes to an eating
house, calls for turtle soup, and after
lie had finished, discovers a brass
thimble at the bottom.
Concludes to 60 home and call it
halfa day all FOUND.
.DIDS'T / GIVE You THE HINT.--
A great friend in words, but not in
deeds, not long since advised q poor
womanto carry round q subscription