The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1857-05-23

AZ the boarding house where Dave and
his frinds put up are a number Of servant
girls. ana it Is an iiiosyncracy Of servant
girls to take their share of toilet articles,
such As hair oi's, Pcrfumery. &c, while they
are rcjuyinating the apartments Of tho
boardcrs.- Dave and his friend Robert were
very careful Of their respective toilets, and
being in a cour,ing way, had been paying
extra attention to personal sdornments for o
long time. They we've in the habit of get
ting a pint Of hair oil made M at the drug
gist's at one time; and finally they were in
the habit Of finiin. that pint of this cost
" hair oil wouldn't s,t 4 week, and that all
the servant girls emitted the same perfume
that they did. 1t was not long before they
came to a conclusion in the matter. 80 one
evening finding that the hair oil cruise was
empty, they took the bottle which contain
ei Il. and straghtyay went TO Mathews
drug store. There vas whispered conver-
saton with laughing clerk, mixing Of
various articles in pint bottle, and the fol-
lowing was marked on the prescription book
as the contents
OF lack assafntoda-mii,; Of assafctoda,
which for the information Of our readers we
will state, is ii.h'y concentrated extract
Of that dcisou~ GrUy-of TIL, one ounce.
OF liquor po'as~e-a fluid slightly cele-
brat j for its corrosive property, having the
power of taking the hair oil dog III ten
second>-one ha,f onunce.
Ba's n Of fir-thc st!ckiest and gImniest
article kuOwn-One ounce.
UOucv-One ounce.
Alcohol-to make these ingredients fluid
one half pint.
Til, was well -huck," and deposited in
the usual place occupied by the hair oil.
n. .,,l IL,
dressed themselves f,r church, and after
finishing, Travelled down stairs. But they
came up auo her stairway in few seconds.
and secreted themselves 10 room adjoining
theirs. where from couple Of panes of
glass over the door, they could see every
thing that went on-After the people Of the
house had gone, tao or three servant girls
came into D.ves room.
whist, Molly says large, red-ha;red
one. "Misther Dave hav some more Of the
lie, and my hairs - dhry As powiher; lets
haze reg lar tx up ~id the folks all away"
This was acceded to, and they all went 10
oing their locks being very lavish with the
fluid, which was quite thin in consequence
of the alcohol. IL few moments red-head
says:
"Wirra, what smells so:" with her nose
turned sky ward.
Sure rs the partume, interrupted
short and dumpy specimen with her hair
down her back.
"Parfume. indade." says red head,
":that's not parfume, that's the ra!c bad
snmcll.'
"Mebbe,' says durnpv, it's the patch
chewiee- ee--tpatchoulD--lve heerd that patch.
chcwlee shmels drcdfu at first; person
mustn't get used 70 the shmeIl before they
- saI ~ he
quality.
This satisfied red-head, and after thor
ough eng," they left the room. In about
two hours the boarders came home from
church.
GOOD God, shall faint; oh. my dear,
there must be an unclean animal in the
room I" and a thousand o,her expressions
were heard. - the boarders got n sniff at
the pa,ch-chrw-l.e when they entered the
house. The master and mistress were puz-
Zed, confounded indignant, and in vain en-
deayored to discover the locality of the
smell. At dinner time there were not half a
dozen boa?ders at the table, and those who
were there were rapidly thinking Of backing
out as the three girls who had been iieing
were attending on them Finally dinner
was given up, and with doors and windows
opened, the inmates alternately froZe and
suffocated. The day was dire one to them,
but it wore away some way.
At night the three glrls attempted to
comb their hair The alcohol had evapora-
ted, leaving the balsarn OF fir and money,
and they might as well have attempted to
comb bundle Of shingles. At the very
first dash that red-head made her comb
caught. and through the influence Of tho
pottasse at the roots, the whole mass of
front hair came off the side Of red-heAd's
Uranium. which she discovered with a veil
that would have rendered a cannibsl en-
vious. The same result attended the rest
of her hair, with the exception Of enough
TO do up as scalp lock to ornament with
feathers. The other girls met with the
same fate, and at about ten o'clock that night
they might have been seen wrapping up
their lost "patch- chew-leed" locks in pie
ces Of paper.
The next morning they were informed 10y
the mistress that she did not desire to EN-
ploy bald headed servant girls, and with
their "chist," they departed in almost
scalped condition. The discovery OF Davc
and Bol,'s connection with the transaction
was not known till lately, but their toilet
articles have been as sacred from the touch
AS the tomb at Palestine.
Nop.t-When boarding. see that the
serV,n, girls are attended 30 in the way Of
:ilet articles.
How EDrToRs LivE.-Some months since
n gentleman "opening out" desired ns to
give him "puff." We did so. Subse-
1uently we were informed tina, that puff
had brought him lots Of custom. lie had
more than ne could do-both hands fall,
money came tumbling in. And what does
the reader suppose We got for so valuable
IN advertisement, for it WAS nothing else!
Two words will express the entire sum
~ fhapk voun M wonder editors get rich