The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1857-05-16

The WAY to Co,,ect /. n;ll

TIE way 20 Collect q BILL 1#
Old Squire Tobin vas slow walker
but slower to pay. Blessed with aabund
ant means, he was of course considered
ujsiimasely good.for aany little debt; h
coaarsctsd > habit Of hslding on TO his
money, until forced BY importantly Il
fork over.
ssThere goes the old Squise," said
Brown, tho merchant, s'I' We had . bill Of
fye dollars and ffty cents against him
for eight months, and if I have asked him
for II once, I have done 50 twenty times;
but Ne has either not got it with him, OF
he, viii call to-mofrow, or, ii not in rood
humor, he will swear like trooper, at my
ii in5padenes |. n il dunning him at anse.sona.
! Now there - one Joe Harkins, a
.wa0gish sort Of fellow, who hoard tho CEN.
plsjnt Of TIE aerchsDt, Brown, and rcsol.
we'd ull,il some fun. ~aa x ,'''ss
sCscciinne, now Brown" said Joe, .svhat
viii you bet I cant get the money from
the old Squire, before he gets homer"
2 4 new hat said Brown. 's 2aE
Enough said, said Joe. II aE .#
While Brown was hunting the bill ,Joe
disguised himself in a striped blanket and
Sloachcd hat Thus equipped, with bill
III his hand, hs took after the Squire.
"Halbw, is your name Squire Tobinv'
- Eyes" answered the Squire With a
snari s1what IL that to your 5t@ ss
J1s'I have little bin, sir collecting for
mefchant Brown, SIR" y u I'D "
s'Merchant Brown can go to thunder
sis," said Che Squire, "I've no money for
him, you must call again" }sEtsE
Joe bowed politely, slipped down the
alley Just in time 70 head the old Squire
aat the next corner. 75F 81 ss&1
1a0h sif,," said Joe, stopping sudden
b, "is your name Tobin?'
q 1Tobin, sir is my name" t 5a@
"uere is little bill, sir, from merch-
ant Brown.o 3,
ssZounds. sir" replied the Squire, /"
Didn't ! meet you just around the COR
ners" S 's' ~
aMect mey' replied Joe, "guoss it was va
D., another Of Browns collectors.
"Then | suppose merchant Brown has
two red striped collectors dogging my
steps; | Won't pay it sir, to-day--begoreII'
The old Squire, as he said this, brought
his stick hard upon the pavement and
toddled on.
Joe, nothing daunted, took advantage
of another alley, and by rapid move
ment, in a few minutes placed himsel!
once more in front of the Squire. The
old mans bile was making him nmtter
and growl as he walked along, now and
then giving point to his anger, BY yer,
emphatic knocks Of his cane upon the
sidewalk. Waen within about twenty
feet Of each other, the old Squire espiod
bis striped friead once more in front,
Squire Tohin s.appaa land raising hi'
, cane, exclaimed:
s.You Internal insolent puppy, what ID
you mean -
Joe, affecting great astonishment,
checked up within safe distance, ant
| replied: . rg
Mean sir? You surprise me, sir;
don't know you, sir"
'.AiR't You merchant Browns cnllecto
that dunned me 6ve minutes ago"
"Me, sir" replied Joe. 81 am one
merchant Browns collectors, to-be-sur,
but; | don't know yeu, sir"
"My name is Tobin, sir, rejoined tn,
irritatea Squire, "and you look like th'
fellow that stopped me twice before
''Impossible.,' replied Joe, lit mus
have been some other ofmerchant Brown
collectors. You see, sir, there ar
forty Of US, all wrapped in red stripe,
blankets-and by the by, Mr.. Tobin,
think have q. small bill against you
| Forty red striped collectors, and eac
one after me, calculated the Squire.
l.. Dara NJ, | must put stop to this
saos viii all 9ssrtake ne before L reac
hone. ssy'ag which, no pallei GU
his w.let and quietly settled merchan
! B.ownis bin OF s5,51.
'I Joe thanked the Squire, and nayed u
but as the Squire had another square I
traye Sc before reaching hone, Joe coul
not rqsis. tho inclination to head him ju,
4 once more, He accordingly made anotl
er circuit, AMI cane in collision with I'll
angry old man, ere be was noticed.
"Zounds. Zounds. stranger, yocifer.
tedthe Squire. "Wha.--"Herc
caught sight Of the red striped blanke
as Joe, dischgaging himself from the q
man, took to his heels. Squire Tobin
cadgel was 6ercely hurled after Joe, q
companied with hearty curse upe
merchant Brown and his forty collecto
in red striped blankets.
It j. unnecessary to say, that Joe Ha
kins was seen next day, topped OF with
bran splinter new hat.
Il. A CALCULATION 70 Look Ar.-Su
pose a man drinks four glasses Of liqu,
! 4 day, at Ave cents glass. In we.
he spends 81, 40; aud In . year, 1928
This will buy the following articles
4 barrele Of -four, say S24; 4 pairs Of boo
say SIS; 40 pounds Of butter, 10; 200
. Of beef, -; a new hat, s.; new sat
vest,s4; bonnet for wifc, s5; sug
, |, plums for children, 1,s0 Total s72,s
-~-.-~--.~-.-~----.~~-------.@A
~ A married lady, who was in Il
habit Of spending most of her time in Il
society Of her neighbors happened 0,
day to be suddenly taken i'll, and sent h
husband In great hasta for ,hysicia