Delaware weekly Republican. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1841-188?, 1857-06-25

|
escape without her. "Well," he said, ''it is
cleared up enough for one, but not enough for
two
-4sasS---
Robert Hall, on one occasion, bei7g disTast-
ed with the egotism and conduct OF A..r' her
who with mixture of self complacency and
impudence, challenged his admiration of SER
mon was provoked to say
eyes there was one fine passage in your dis
| course, SIR
81 am reioiced to hear you say SO; which
| was il ~
''why, sir, it was the passage from the pull
| pit to the yestryI''
| A CHURCH DEAD HEAD.-ln churches sleepy
| heads have always been numerous, but, until
| recently, we never heard OF any one claiming
| dead head exemption when the plate went
around. Last Sunday, in Western village,
when the aplate" was being passed in--
church gentleman said to the ecolectOr''-
$50 on I'm dead head-I've got pass
THE MARcH OF EDuoATIoN.-"So here am
between two tailors,' said fellow at public
table, where couple Of young tailers were
seated, who had just began business for them
selves.
NTrue,' was the reply, fwe are beginners,
and can only afford to keep one goose 6eftUeen
u.s."
A Western poet Witnessed a pugistic en-
counter, which he has thus immortalized;
Ana Isaac ptlnceu into nym,
And hym pitched into he;
The way they fytte it was a sin,
And horrybel to see!
Giving THE DnyIL us DrE.-Swift preached
an assize Sermon and in the course of it,
was severe. upon the Lawyers for pleading
against their conscience. After dinner young
counsel said some severe things against the
clergy, and did not doubt were the devil to dio
parson might be found to preach his funeral
sermon.
eyes" said swift, 81 wOuld, and would give
the devil his due, as 1 did his children this
morning.
AN APT REPLY.--Moore, in his diary, mem
tions an anecdete told by Croker as one OF the
| happiest things he ever heard FenelOD, who
had often teazed RiCheieu (and Intellectually
| it seems) for subscriptions to charitable under
takings, was one day telling him that he had
Just seen his picture. HAnd did you ask IL for
"a subscription :" said Richelieu, sneeringly.
sNo, saw there was no chance, replied the
the sit was 50 like you."
A poor bachelor, after coming out at the
small end Of the horn in all his matrimonial at
tempts, pathctically eXclaims
| eWhen | remember all
The girls l'vc met together,
| faul like a rooster in the fall,
| Exposed to every weather.;
. $500 ssl.-. - sfls. fr.aahs alone
Some barn yard all deserted,
Whose oats are hed-whOse hens are
dead,
And OH to market started.''
A MAGNANIMoUs HUsBAND.-Not long since
widow, one of those whom we are in the habit
of calling well preserved, by name Madame r
-, yielding TO the ardent solicitations OF
one ofthe young literary men of Paris, mar
ried him. On returning from the church and
the mayors office, the lady took her husband
aside, and said to him, "Pardon me, my dear,
for have deceived yOu 2''
SIN what2'' said the man of letters, much
troubled.
"Yes, told you that had 100000 francs,
and
"Well and you have not Never mind, 1t
is all the same to me-"
ssNo, that is not it, exactly-I have 2,0O0,-
900.
The husband forgave her.
Mr.. BRowN TREATS ALI MS CUsToMERs.-
Some years ago Ben Brown opened store in
Swoptown, and in order to hook everybody into
trade, he offered to treat every one That bought
anything at his store. Money being scarce
there was good deal of barter going on in
those days. So Sam Jones called into the
grocery and dry goods store of MIR. Brown and
asked for Il darning needle, offering in ex-
change an egg. Alter receiving the needle,
Jones said
"Comc Amt you going TO treat1"
"What on that Iradci' ....
"Certalhlyi atraue u raue iel IL DC Dig OF
little.'
"Well what'l you take 2''
GA glass Of wine.
orhe wine was poured out, when Jones
said
"Would it be asking too much to request
you to put an egg in it am very fond oil
wine aud egg. .r.
Appalled, 6y the mans meanness, the store
keeper TOOK the iGenticalegg which he had re-
| celved for the darning needle, and handed 1t
| TO his customer, who, on breaking 1t In his
wine, discovered that it contained double
yolk.
s'Loul, here p said he, ''don't you think you
ought to give me another needle This you
see is double yolk."
-.~---
The most remarkable case of gallantry on re-
cord is related of an Albany constable, and we
} only regret that the Argus ha' not given MS
name in full. That paper states that Oihcer
O. went up to Fulton county to arrest
man whom he found at home with his wife and
daughter. lie was shown into the parlor where
the three were sitting, and while proceeding to
make known his business to the man of the
house, the daughter, young woman of eigh-
teen, becoming greatly excited, exclaimed;
81 wish had pistol TO blow his heart out
with :"
The officer Immediately drew from his breast
| pocket his revolver, and handing it to the
young Amazon, said, in the blandest manner
| imaginable:
''Miss be so kind as to let me accommodate
you.''
Whether she apprehended he had another
of the same sort lett or not, she declined TAX
ing the tool, and the officer walked out with
head of that interesting family.
BEAUTIFUL lnEA.-Away among the Alleg
hanies there is spring, so small that a single
OK, in u summers day, could drain il dry. J.
steals its unOhlrusiye way among the hills, tif
, it spreads out into the beautiful Ohio. Thence
stretches away n thousand miles, leaving on H.
: banks more than hundred villages and cities
and many thousand cultivated farms, and beai
ing on its bosom more than half thousah
steamboats,. Then joining the Mississippi, T.
, stretches away some twelve hundred mil
I more till it falls into tho great emblem I
eternity. II is one of the great tributaries {
4 the ocean, which obedient only to God, sha
E roll and roar till the angel, with one foot
I sen and the other on the land, shall lift up /
4 hand TO he aven, and swesS thss time shall I
I no hanger So with ~ ~. 1t :,
4 rill-a riyulet--a river an ocean, boundl,
and fathOmess as eternity.
ACE OF THE CHARTER 0AK.-Prof. Bro.
lesby has been computing the age of the Cl
ter Oak from the rings. The result he arriy
at is that the tree was GAG years of age.