Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1857-10-29
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John SMITHS DREAM.
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THE YEAR 2O40.

q dreamed, boys. said Smith, shat I was
in the. great Patent office at Washington. 81
looked, and its ceiling was raised to osp enoFs
NOUS. height, while through, open doors and.
passages, Isaw room otter room gfeaning
with thousands Of models, untilsit appeared
gassthoagh was in Eilderness of machine;
Very soon a perthttle gentlemen; with
s.aquick black eye, gand.a pussy body ar
ranged IN the queerest costume | ever saw
came bustling. up to me, and asked mesfor
myticket. Iinyoluntaty thurst my hand
6sintosthe depthof my breeches pocket, and
,puiling out card delivered it to him.
Ster looking at the card, aad then at me, and and
then at the card again, he burst out into a
loud gufaw, thatmade the old patent'ofdce
ring, s.-s.5 - 9. ~ s.:
~ aNhy, Sir, said he, this sis.no ticket,@5It
lis, the business card Of John; Smith, adver-
:tising a patent: dog -churn, of which he here
saws he Is The real inventor, and it bears
date the year ls4o-two hundred years
ago! The churn may be found in the room
marked, Inventiens Of the Year 1876, but
: the man John Smith we haven't got. I
don't think he is around above ground, just
at this time, said the little man chuckling
~ But, said 4, who are you, if 1 am not
John Smith? We're you not appoiutedby
Polk Secretary Of the Ieterior,. and did I
not put word in his sear favorable to youssl
: ;s.Polk!! Secretary Of the Interior exs
claimed he; sIappointed BY Polk ~ Vhyy,
my dear sir, was appointed only two years
. ago-not two hundred Chief of the, Great
Central Department as the Office is now
called. 49, S:ss.ssss - g
-. while wewere talking, Franklin, a dams,
Jefferson and Fulton walked in aud took
). seats. The rather unexpected arrival OF
these gentlemen broke up the comments Of
my bpstling interrogator, and sones of those
pausesoecarred which frequently do on the
appearance Of strangers. Uncle Ben asked
Jefferson if he would not like to move up to
the FIRE and warm his feet.
Fire, said L, .fre2 Why, Uncle Ben
there is no fireplace now a days, Stoves
and hot air furnaces are all the GO, This
building is warmed by a great furnace and
two miles of pipe that conduct the heat to
every room in it.
Not by a long wayn said my bustling
gfriend-snot by a long way, Dir. John Smith.
This trampery is all piled away among. the
inventions of the years that were. Those
things belong to the age of your dog -churh.
Whygentlemen, have you never heard of
the Great Southern Hot Air Company,
chartered in the year 1860, whose business
it is to furnish warm air from the south, to
persons at the north price to families s3 a
year. all done by the gigantic underground
tunnel, and its branches worked at the
other end yam air pump Have yon never
heard of this gentlemen?, Here We get
the natural heat of the south, warmed by
the sun! none+of your sinking coal and
wood gases to corrupt and destroy it. And
then the principle of reciprocity is kept,up;
for we send back our cold air in the same
way; and so we keep an equilibrium, for
the south are just as strenuous as,ever to
keep up the equilibrium of the Union
Why gentlemen those stoves required con:
slant care As often as once week it was
necessary to replenish them with wood OF
coal. No, no !! those improvements belong
ed to the dark ages. - ~
sBless mel exclaimed Uncle Ben.