davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Nebraska advertiser., 1857-04-09

Ayoung parson lost his way in a
forest, and it being vehemently cold
and rainy, be happened upon a poor
cottage, and desired a lodging or hay
loft to stay in and some fire to warm
him.. The man told him that he and
his wife had but one bed, and if he
pleased to lay with them, he should be
welcome. The parson thanked him,
and kindly accepted it. In the NOR
ming the man r6seto 60 to market, and
meeting some of his,neighbOrs he fell
a laughing. They asked him what
made him so merry about the mouth.
"Why," says he, Il can't but think
how ashamed the parsoh viii be, when
he awakes, to find himself alone in
bed with my wife.
Nebraska advertiser., 1857-04-09
At a church Of .oolor,, the minist,

At a church Of @color" the minister
noticing a number Of persons, both
white and colored, standing upon the
seat during singing service, called out
in lond voice
'Git down off them seats, both
white man and color; I care no more
for the one dan de other"
Imagine the minister's surprise on
hearing the congregation suddenly
commence singing, in short meter
''Git down of dem seats,
BOf white man and color:
care no more for one man
:. Than / does for the other"
Nebraska advertiser., 1857-04-09

TEE LOVE OF sTRIFE.I never low
ed those salamanders that are never
well, but when they are in the fire Of
Twill rather suffer thou
sand wrongs than offer one. l viii
rather suffer ahundred than infict one.
I viii suffer many ere Z wiz complain
Of one, and endeavor to right it By
contending. I have ever found that
to strive with my superior is furious;
with my equal doubtful; with my infe-
rior sOrdid and base; with any full Of
unquietnsss.-Bishop Hal
Nebraska advertiser., 1857-04-09

A man praising porter, said it was
SO excellent beverage, that though
taken in great quantities, it always
made him fat.
sSI have seen the time when it made
you lean"
"When ? I should be glad to know, /"
said the eulogist.
"Why, no longer since than last
night-against the wan.
Nebraska advertiser., 1857-04-09

I A supe in Western theatre, having
been inducted into the part Of the
Ghost in Hamlet, sfor one night only,
performed his part so badly that he
was Kissed of. The manager came
forward, bowed gracefully, pat his
hand on his heart, announced that
ssSmith had agreed to give up the
ghost" bowed again, retired, and all
vas peace once more.
Nebraska advertiser., 1857-04-09

Gross INHUMAxrr7. - Compelling
an actor, who has just died 'eviolent
death, ? to appear before the audience
two minutes later, and return thanks
for witnessing his death struggles.
Nebraska advertiser., 1857-04-09

S'ppose a feller, who has got moth
ing, marries a gal who has nothing,--
is her things his'n or his things her'n?
or his his'n, or her'n heria This
question to be decided by the English
Court Of Chancery on Doomsday af-
ternOon.
Nebraska advertiser., 1857-04-09

A printer, setting up the lire which
is so often placed under wedding no
tiee, at is not right1that man should
live alone" carelessly left the out Of
Of the word live which made the bride
blush.
Nebraska advertiser., 1857-04-09

a When Jack Jones discovered that he
had polished his bed-mate's boots, In
stead Of his own, he called it an ag-
gravated instance Of "laboring, and
counfoundedly hard, too-under a
mistake"
Nebraska advertiser., 1857-04-09

"Ah,' said an Englishman, the other
day, 81 belong to country upon which
the sun never sets" '.And ], !" said a
Yankee, "belOngtO country Of which
there can be no correct map-it grows
so fast that surveyors can't keep up
with it.
Nebraska advertiser., 1857-04-09
BY AUTHORITY.
LAWS OF THE UNITED STATES.


[PuBIic III
AN ACT Tor the construction ar a Ey,-on
road from Fort Keamey, yia the South P,ss
Of the Rocky Mountains and Great Sals
Lake Valley. 70 the eastern portion of the
81 Stats Of CalifOnia, and Tor other parposss.
Be it asdctsE 5y de Ssnats e-d Haa,s II
Representatives, of The UniteI Stars IF AmeTica
an Congress ASSEMBLED That The suul ,of
three hundred thousand doliars, or 50 much
thereof as may be necessary, be. and the sane
IS heseby appropriated, out a any naoney Rot
otherwise appropriated, for the constr1eff1n Of
wagon road from Fort kearnsy, IN the Teri
tory Of Nebraska, via the South Pass Oh the
Rocky mountains, to the eastern boundary Of
the State Of Caliiorlia, rear HoiIev Lahe TO
be expended under the dffscsion Of he Sec
rstaIy Of the Interior, puraant 10 coairacfs
TO be made BY him; said road % connect with
and form an sxfsesi0n Of the rad aireadv
authorized from Fort Ridgeley q the afosssail
South Pass.
Sec. 2 And b !. fzytbz auasl 7has
the sum Of two hundred thOusaTld dollars, or
as much thereof as may be necessarysbs. ana
the same Is hereby appropriated out OF u1eue Y
the treasury not Otherwise appropriated. III IN
the construction Of wagon toad from e. fsasS
on the Rlo GTande, to Fort Yuma, Dc tbs
mouth Of the GilariSsr. to bsexDeudsdi nader
the direction Of the Secretary OF The Intsrior
pursuant to contracts to be made By him
Sec s. ind b e fsytbe- enaefsE, ,rhat
sum Of City thousand dollars be. and tha
same Is hereby appropriated, out Of any insney
in the treasury not Otherwise sppFOpriatst f0r
the construction Of q wagon nnd fronl Fer.
Defiance, in the Territory of New MesitD. to
the Coloiado riTer, near The mouth Of tie No
hanna ril'sr.
Ar scvsl l7sla7sasE Il. 1857
Nebraska advertiser., 1857-04-09

'Pa, amt 1 CROWN tall?"
"Why, what's your height SONNY ?"
Seven feet, lackin' a yard!' p Pa
tainted.
Nebraska advertiser., 1857-04-09

What is the difference between an
auetioneer and . postmaster? One
does as he is bid, the other as he is dir
ected.
Nebraska advertiser., 1857-04-09
RATES OF ADVERTISING.
BRowNyIL-L.LE. VILE n. z.

- s,,1.e vi be required fer all advertise
-,-.s-t T-bere actual responsibility is Known
Tc1 A. sgut for each change be added 70 the
s58ye rates. 81 :
x: .lgle-tssnsuts VIII Be considered by the year,
- sussi6ed on the manuscript " previously
- uDoa between the parties
Advertisements not marked on the copy ior seci-
f--,-ss II insertions, viii be continued until or
- cut. and charged accordingly
IN sITertiseussss from strangers Or transient per
.5ns to-bs paid in advance -,
Tusv-iyiIsge II yearly advertisers WI be eonhnea
LIZ "a fLeir own business and al advertisements
=. n--.siuiiz- thereto. 70 be paid for extra.
Al Isadcd sdvsrtiscmsnts charged double theaooFe
ns.
SIpsrti,susntsOn On the inside exclusively viii be
.lsr.ed extra. -r
Nebraska advertiser., 1857-04-09

Men are called sons guns, because
hey al GO Of-some time on Othcr.
Nebraska advertiser., 1857-04-09

An honest Dutehman, in training
up his son in the way he should go,
frequently exercised him in tho Bible
lessons. On one Of these occasions be
asked him
"Who vas dat would not sleep nit
Botiphers wife :?
sShoseph.
ssDafs good poy- Veil, vat vas
de reason he would not sleep NIT
herr
sDon't know, shpose he wasn't
sleepy,
Nebraska advertiser., 1857-04-09

We heard a good joke perpetfated
yesterday, BY friend Of ours. Said
he to an acquaintance:
'Things arereally coming to q pret-
ty pass in our town, all the ladies'
stopping at the Girard left the dinner
table yesterday"
'Possible I" said the person Ia
whom the remark was addressed
greatly surprised. sWhat caused them
to do 50 ?"
HWhy,n responded our friend, con
yineing himself that the coist was
clear, '.they had finished eating. A
pass was made at him, but he dOdgeC
it.
Holmes County Republican. [volume] (Millersburg, Holmes County, Ohio) 1856-1865, 1857-11-12

VICE UNcovERED.-Thec calamtious fire
at Chicago was attended by other conse-
quences besides the fearful destruction Of
life which it caused. 1t was uncovering Of
midnight life in that city-an exposure Of
a vice which is not confined to Chicago
alone, but exists in many great city
throughout the land. The fact was de-
veloped in the course of the Coroner's in
vestigation, that the house in which the
fire originated was, what was never before
suspected, huge assignation house. 1t
was large building, divided into sleeping
rooms, and occupied BY clerks, each Of
whom, it appears, had his "partner." The
scamporiug of these partners" from the
blazing building was like the fig ght of fal.
len angels. The fire was occasioned by
the upsetting of a lamp in room where
rioting and revelry were the order of the
night. The good people of Chicago are
opening their eyes at these "develop-
ments."
Holmes County Republican. [volume] (Millersburg, Holmes County, Ohio) 1856-1865, 1857-11-12
Advertisement Extraordinary.

The following advertisement, says the
N. Y. Eueming Post, was sent to our Of
fee for insertion, and as it is little out o.
the ordinary run of such documents,we give
it prominent place. The sufferer tells hi:
troubles feelingly, and leaves the imagina
tion free to supply any deficiency:
"ELEGANTLY EMBELLIsHED WALL PA.
PER FOR SALE.-About thirteen bushels Of
engraved paper, ready to go to WALL con-
sist:ng of Railroad Bonds, secured and un-
secured by lst, I'd and Sd mortgages, In
come, Construction, Interest and Sinking
Fund bond, with and without coupons, Of
an endless variety of patterns, perspective,
landscapes and water views, liquidated and
unliquidated.
"Together with railroad share certificates
of every variety of color, design, pattern
size and hue, the par values ranging from
five dollars to thousand.
"Also the scrip and bonds of coal and
iron, life and trust, foreign steamship and
inland navigation companies; stage coaches,
consolidated and unconsolidated; city rail
ways, telegraph, balloon, steam road car
riage, penny bridge, ferry and every other
known water conveyance.
"Also, powers of attorney, revokable
and irrevokable; power to collect dividends,
earned and unearned, and to transfer stocks
proxies to vote at regular and Especial meet
ings; bull contracts and contracts of bears,
very spirited in style and execution, with
horns, hoof and jaws properly distributed,
but without the roar and on all terms
from buyer sixty to seller ten.'
"The signatures to these works of art
are recherche and unique, and Characters
tic of the age we live in. The whole com
prising an assortment of variegated shad-
ows and styles of figures, colored and plain
size and variety of mezzotint engraving
probably never heretofore and positively
never hereafter to be met with in any
country, age or CLINE.
"Some of the bonds are slightly creased
by the eternal fold, which time and a damp
brush will eradicate, so that they will,
with the institutions whose memory they
perpetuate, go readily fo the WALL and
take to it kindly.
"The above assortment is the scrapings
of lifetime passed in the street, anc
comprises the crumbs of bread of careful
ness,' eaten by the advertiser.
"They will be sold at wall paper prices
for hard cash, and are recommended 70;
the upholstery of Wall street offices, after
the present crisis.
"For teims &C., which VII be reasona
Bile, address in all confidence, -
BYGoNEs,
Office of the E'eening Post
Holmes County Republican. [volume] (Millersburg, Holmes County, Ohio) 1856-1865, 1857-11-12
Stop that BOY.

How opposite the following words tc
some of the "young Americans not Q
thousand miles from here. There are q
few, TO be sure, in our goodly old town
but there are some, fast rapid youths
Stop that boy! Aye, but who is to stop
him? Young America takes the bit. IN
his teeth, and the rein holder must be o
"knowing vun," and stalwart moral Je-
hu who can check his mad gallop down
the steep of life. Stop him who can.
Stop that boyr A cigar is in his
mouth, swagger in his walk, impudence
in his face, care for nothingness in his
manner. Judging from his demo al or h.
is older than his father, wiser than his
teacher, more honored than the mayor OF
the town, higher than the President.
Stop him he is going too fast. He don't
know his speed. Stop him ere tobacco
skaters his nerves; ere pride ruins his
character; ere the loafer masters the man !;
ere good ambition or manly strength give
way TO low pursuits and british aims
Stop all such boys! They are legion-the
shame of their families-the disgrace of
their townsville sad and solemn reproaches
of themselves.
Well one way to stop him is to let off
the steam he has on board This cannot
be done by the father, or teacher, or en-
ployer, who himself has on the steam
That it should be done all admit it to be
important. These fast boys will soon be
faster men unless they be brought to halt,
and that right soon.
Their speed is increased by following in
the wake of your ship. Stop at once your
selves, even if the boys run against you.-
The damage will not be very great and
can be easily repaired. Continue to add
fuel to the flame, accumulate steam on
your own craft; they will do likewise, and
soon your powers will become expended.
and they will run over you and make
complete wreck of you and of themselves.
Dropping the figure. we say that if the
fathers would have the boys sober, that
they must be tetotallers. Precept and ex
ample in this connection cannot be severed.
Fathers must practice what they preach,
else the boys will be infdels.
Holmes County Republican. [volume] (Millersburg, Holmes County, Ohio) 1856-1865, 1857-11-12
Juvenile Tipping.


racy remarks on the subject ofjuvenile tip
pling:
LASTLY, the boys 90 it in the important
matter of tippling. They take to drink
with remarkable readiness, and exhibit ca
pacities for storing away liquors which old
salts might envy. Grass never grows be-
tween hand and mouth. Their stomachs
have tremendous expansion. Their throats
are never clogged, for you might as well
pour water down rat hole. Old swill-
tubs cannot hold more slops, or bloat to a
greater extent. The American citizen
may justly feel proud when he sees the
amount of grog property which is daily be-
ing saved, by being run down the throats
of our young men. Their selfsacri6cing
devotion to the great traffic is wondrous.
They exhibit moral heroism which rises
into moral grandeur. But for them the
race of drunkards would die out Our
poor houses and prisons would be tenant
less, and there would not be hanging
enough to keep the gallows from rusting.
Pauperism and crime would 60 out of
fashion, and vice have to look elsewhere for
recruits. When we reflect that our own
country could not boast of fifty thousand
drunkards, if it were not for the enlistment
of these youths, the mind realizes their de
votion and courage. They fit and prepare
themselves, and at their own expense and
as fast as drunkards are wanted, to take
their places. Look at the fresh young
ranks of our boy-tipplers, and be proud,
that from these the ragged and red-faced
legions of American drunkards are to be
kept unbroken. Glorious thought! Let
the boys go itl Young friends! don't be
discouraged in these great moral undertake
ings. Do not despair of becoming one of
the most loathsome and abandoned vaga-
bonds in creation, because a few drinks
will not complete the work. Persevere-
persevere, we say,-and ere you are aware,
you can exhibit as glaring face, and as
foul mouth, as the Oldest veteran. There
is everything to encourage you. The old
sot by your side-a picked veteran in the
cause-commenced where you are. See
what practice has done for him! Take
courage, boy, and go it! Hang round the
drunkery, and pour down the swill. The
more Grugging, the more speedy the gradu-
alton. Watch the old soldiers, and listen
closely to their pure speech. Follow in
the footsteps of your illustrious predeces-
sors. Do not forget that the rum-sellers
are doing great work for you. And
when one is damning his soul for your bene-
fit will you not 60 it9 A glorious desti-
ny is yours young friends. Your country
needs fifty thousand young recruits. The
sanctity of whisky property must be pre-
served by your ruin, and our constitution
saved by the destruction of your own
On, then, young friends, and may the
good devil smile on your efforts, so that
when you are rotting in Potter's Field, it
may be said of you that you went it in
your youth"
Holmes County Republican. [volume] (Millersburg, Holmes County, Ohio) 1856-1865, 1857-11-12
The Presidents Message.

The President is busy with tie perpar-
alton of his Message. 1t is very likely
that he may disclose the most important
proceeding relative to the Island of Cuba.
The acquisition of that Island is to be a
darling object with Mr.. Buchanan's admin
istration, and whatever policy or states
manship can suggest towards its transfer
from Spain TO the United States, will be
done, and much, it cannot be doubted, has
already been done. How much Mr.. Bu-
chanan has this object at heart is shown
by his liberal offer of $3.50, 900, 900 for il,
while Secretary of State, and by terms Of
the Ostend Manifesto, which was carefully
prepared by him, in such a manner as t.
Justify the forcible seizure of the Island,
if Spain should obstinately continue to re-
fuse our generous offers for it 1t Is re-
markable fact, that the nearly incredible
offer of more money for Cuba than has
been paid for the whole enormons quanti-
ty of our public lands, and concealed from
the knowledge of the public for six years
after it was made by Mr.. Buchanan
This, however, was in perfect accordance
with the sec-etive character Of that admin
istration. Mr.. Polk's first Message discios-
ed many startling diplomatic movements
ON the Oregon and other qaestions Q,
which NOT the slightest suspicion existed
while thew were under adv'sement.
The President has passed several hours
Of every day for a week past at the State
Department, preparing, as is believed, that
part of his Message concerning our foreign
relations. = Wdshisgton Corresposdtst Of
the " Y. Courier.
Holmes County Republican. [volume] (Millersburg, Holmes County, Ohio) 1856-1865, 1857-11-12
THE LOAFER,S HORN.
By c. 7. WOLFE

At dawn the loafer sneaks from bed.
In all his rough attire,
And totters to the "groggery"
To quench the liquid fire!
And grins to think how good he'll feel,
On such beauteous morn.
When he shall guzzle at one gulp
The much desired hornl l.
The mueh-loved horn!
The alcoholic horn!
The red-eyed horn!
The soul-inspiring hornl
When loafers, ere the sun gets up,
Do swallow many a horn!
And leave their homes and families
Both seedy and forlorn!
The lushy horn!
The rag-engendering hornl
The pimple-facing horn!
The blear-eyed, rcd nosed horni
AT evening to his shaving-pile,
" Acd HiSne SicS 70 " Si enS ooieh
When groggery candles blaze no more,
And hushcd isrowdy mirth,
'Tis then his snoring notes are heard.
On foggy zephyrs borne,
And all night long the loafer dreams
Of morrow mornings hornl
Tomorrow 5 horn!
The dear, delightful horn!
The luscious hornl
The care-destroying horn!
Hark! to the dreamer's snoring notes
Along the zephyrs borne,
He fancies that the landlord comes,
And offers him horn:
A good, stiff horn,
A soul-inspiring horn;
He starts from out his fevcrish dream
And grasps his fancied hornl
Holmes County Republican. [volume] (Millersburg, Holmes County, Ohio) 1856-1865, 1857-11-12
Eg- The Cleveland Pla;ndealer, States

EE The Cleveland Plaindealer, States
man, and other locofoco papers in order to
break the fall of their gubernatorial candi-
date and make It'll possible, less painful than
it really is, have started story that Gov.
Chase's majority is made up of negro votes
illegally cast for him. This is merely one
of The wreck of lies which has come to the
top since their political ship foundered and
sunk on the 18th ult. AS the editors of
these papers claim to be so well posted in
regard to negroes, we recommend the next
legislature to appoint them as smelling
committee" TO investigate. They appear to
be of the right breed of dogs to track a
colored person. Columbus Journal.
Holmes County Republican. [volume] (Millersburg, Holmes County, Ohio) 1856-1865, 1857-11-12
o MAKE YELLOW P1oxLEs.-l

To MAKE YELLOW Pickles. TO a
three gallon jar, put in two ozs. turmerI !;
one lump of alum; one OF. of mace; one
OF. of long pepper; one OF. of cloves; two
ozs. of white ginger, half teacup full Of
spice; do. black pepper: do. white mustard !:
plate of horse -radish that has been
scraped and dried; cut two or three firm
small heads Of cabbage, put them in cold
water and let them come to boil, take
out, spread them on folded cloth in the
sun TO dry; sprinkle them thick with salt; !;
slice cucumbers that have been in brine,
lengthways, and sprinkle with salt, and all
the articles you wish in the pickle, such as
radish pods, corn, &c. When all are dry
or bleached, pour boiling water on them,
wash of, salt, and put in the cold spiced
vinegar. They will keep for years. House
wifc.
Holmes County Republican. [volume] (Millersburg, Holmes County, Ohio) 1856-1865, 1857-11-12
Yours truly,

DEMOCRATIC BRIBERY.-A case was
lately on trial in New York, growing out
of the attempt to sell the Brick Church
property to the U. s. Government for a
Post Office site. An Attorney named
Benton sued the owners for $3.50, which
he was to get for securing an approval
of the title by District Attorney Mckeon,
Mr.. James, one of the owners, testified
that he was advised from Washington
that for $1,000 the then Attorney General
of the United States, (Mr. Cushing,) would
accept the title and take the property.
Holmes County Republican. [volume] (Millersburg, Holmes County, Ohio) 1856-1865, 1857-11-12
re- The season begins to bring fort

w The season begins to bring forth
its annuul budget of fish stories. Satur-
day last is stated to have been the biggest
fishing day ever known in these waters.-
Of the "morning haul" besides the home
supply, ninety barrels of white fish were
packed and shipped off; and had the wind
permitted boats to come in with their loads
during the day, the evening shipments
would have been larger still.
One of the Blosiers boats came to dock
this morning, and discharged white6sh to
the number Of thirty-ive bundled. San
dusky Register.
Holmes County Republican. [volume] (Millersburg, Holmes County, Ohio) 1856-1865, 1857-11-12

Eees FOR BURNs.-The white of an egg
has proved of late the most efficacious rem
edy for burns. Seven or eight successive
applications of this substance soothes the
dain and cffectually excludes the burned
parts from the air. This simple remedy
seems to us far preferable to collodion or
even cotton.
Holmes County Republican. [volume] (Millersburg, Holmes County, Ohio) 1856-1865, 1857-11-12
1Dodpp.
For the Holmes County Republican.
HOMES FAREWELL.
sr SUSANNA G. BOOTH.


Farewell TO my dear rural home,
Sweet scenes of my childhood, adieu;
Thy memory Iii ever enbalm ~ -
With tears, while wander from YOU.
Thy meadows, thy groves. every nook.
Though lone and sequestered they be,
- On III tablet of memdfy e 'sengnved,
~ And there viii be cherished by me.
The broad speading oaks on the hills
~ The spring that gushes out at their feet.
The orchard. the garden, the green. 81
At evs ming my favorite retreat.
When lingering admiring the sun G
Asit sank meath the western hill,
I've strnyed till the moons silver light
Shown ont and nature was still.
The brook where I've courted the muse,
And strore for some word to convey
What it said as it murmered along
To the pebble, ii met on its way.
The flowers that nestled among
The willows that grew on the brink;
Mirroring their form on its breast,
AS they leaned DER Its waters 10 drink.
The group that encircled the hearth,
Through winter Is long evening at home,
= The sweet resper song that we've sung.
-s7 III think of whenever roam.
Though oft revisit the scenes,
. Where in childhood I sporiisely played,
l know they viii never appear
As they were, ere from them 1 strayed.
Ny rose tree that blooms at door.
The myrtle l taught where to creep,
When the loy'd ones at home chance 10 see,
They will think of their sister and weep
The thought will be charming to me,
Whenever chance here to stray,
Ny name they viii never forget.
Bel repent when l am away.
West Liberty, o., Oct. "a, 1857.
Holmes County Republican. [volume] (Millersburg, Holmes County, Ohio) 1856-1865, 1857-11-12

The population of Canada is e,Soo.ooo'
It doubles itself in fifteen years.