Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1857-06-04
DOESTICKS ENCOUNTERlNG GRIM
'.at.s DEATH. T. .es - .'

DOESTICKS ENCOUNTERlNG GRIM
: .u.. DEATH. = a<.'
HE HAS THE SMALLPOX. t
Do you want to know why I've been alb
sent from your columns for a couple ofweeks
I've been sick.-Grin Death has been around
he called, and sat down face to face with
,ne, and said that lie had come for Doesticks,
anI that I'd better make my will, say good
bye to my friends, and mention that I should
Mt be back. / argued the matter with old
Drybones for three days and two nights. =
He speared me 2 number of times with his
''dart," but I always lodged. So you see
that from words we came to blows. My
opinion is that he showed himself no gen
tleman in pitching into sick man; however,
the doctor backed me manfu, ". Death
grappled me by the head, but backed him
down with leeches; then he dropped his hold
and caught me by the bowels. 1 fired at
him in this position for twelve hours with
two ounce walls Of stuff that I don't know
the name of, but which smelled like boil
ed down livery stable. Being dislodged
from my Intervals, he caught me by the.
ribs, where [ burned his fingers with mus
tard blister, when he gave me. up as bad
subject for an obituary experiment, and pre-
pared to 60. AS he sneaked out, he grin
ed and remarked, that I need not feel so
proud, for [ wouldn't make a decent look
ing corpse anyhow. I looked viciously at
him. [ was able to put my thumb to the
end Of my nose, but my strength gave out
before l could wag my fingers, SO that I fear
old Death left with wrong impression of
my sentiments. -
My sickness came thus-there was fire
in row of tenement houses, and my dear
friend, Miss Miggs, stood where she could
watch the progress of the flames. Some one
cried out there was a child in the burning
house-felt like hero in the presence Of
Miss Miggs, or perish in the attempt before
Miss Miggs. Dashed up ladder in full
sight Of Miss Miggs. making misstep and
taking the skin off my shin as a primary
move-didn't mind it at all-what were
sqins when Miss Miggs was looking on p
Got into the house-heard the child squall-
couldn't see it for the smoke-tried to find
it in the dark-walked over the stove and
and overturned kettle of boiling water in
to my boots-breathed smoke enough to set
volcano up in business and at last reach
ed the bed and caught hold of the squaller-
wasn't very particular how took hold, and
am now convinced that I carried it by one
leg, head downward, all over the upper
stories of the whole block in my search for
the window where the ladder was-discov-
cred it at last, and tore one leg of my PAN
falcons entirely off on the iron hook with
which it was decorated-got down, turned
the babe right side up and delivered it in
coed order to its mother, who set up genu-
inc howl, and instantly gave me ''particu-
lar fts'' for bringing her babe out doors
without wrapping it up warm; for as she
then informed me, it had the small pox six
days, and she was afraid it would 'sstrike
in" 1 myself felt very much disposed to
''strike out, but my anger vanished as I
thought of Miss Miggs- started to 60 and
see aforementioned the unheroic looks of
mypantaloons, and RETAINED bowed to her,
however, which she didn't sae, and then
was on the instant tipped over in the mud
by the foreman of Hose No. 88, who at the
same time volunteered his kind advice to
"mind where you're looking" That she
did see, and evidently thought it very funny.
Went to bed and dreamed exclusively of
Irish babies thought was a regular plan
tation of babies, set out in regular rows like
cabbage-they were all growing vigorous
ly-tried to get out-but innumerable Celtic
ofsprings sprouted under my feet, and my
legs were tangled in their tender embraces
finally, I struggled to the end of the field.
when | found that was hedged in with
screaming babies, fourteen deep, all alive,
and all with the double headed smallpox
Then my own body began to go into babies
they dubbed all over me, and I awoke just
as each leg had blossomed into pug-nosed
boy, and two pairs of red-headed twins had
sprouted out between my shoulders. >
Found [ was sick-doctor came and told
me what allied me. Smallpox is an inter-
esting disease, regarded from pathological
point of view by a physician in good health;
but contemplated practically by a fat-on-his
back patient, the study is not SO interesting.
The members of my body corporate un-
dertook, for my amusement, series of un-
usual and curious performance ION their
own hook" The slippery portions of my
anatomy, generally designated as my bow
els" commenced number of complicated
manouvres with great vigor, somewhat as
it they were practicing new ballet Of won-
derful combinations. requiring vast deal
Of extra ground and lofty tumbling; or were
rehearsing Christmas pantomine. and
jumping through surprising number of
trap -doors-they didn't stop until they tied
themselves into ahard knot and tucked both
ends under. l consoled myself, however,
&b,4 Z