Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1857-12-31
Cour,ing--sad Predicamcnt.

In Iowa paper tells the following
good joke which happened some time
ago, bat will lose nothing by it's age:
4 A certain man in search of wife
being out on counting expeditions, as
is customary with young men, came
late on Sunday evening", and, in order
4 4tosksep his secret. from his xoung-ac-
I quaintahces, detefMfhed to be at home
Ton Monday morning, bright AMI early,
so that his abscfce would not be no.
ticed. But his affianced resided seve-
raj miles from the town in which he 81 :
/ journed and SO, to overcome the dis
tance, he required the use of a horse.
Mounted on his horse, dressed in his
fine white summer pants, and other fix
ins in proportion, he arrives at the resi-
dence of his inamorata, where he is
kindly received and his horse properly
taken care of by being turned into the
pasture for the night. The evening,
yea, the night, passed away, but how to
the young man is nobody's business
Three o'clock in the morning arrived.
Our hero was awake--uay, he had been
so all night-but it matters not-three
o clock was the time to depart, so that
he might arrive at home, before his COM
rades were stirring. Not wishing to
disturb the family or his adylove, who
were then wrapped in the arms of Nor
pheus, he sailed forth to catch his horse.
But here was dificulty-the grass was
high and covered with dew To venture
in with his white pantaloons, would ra-
ther take the starch out of them, and
lead to his detection. 1t would not do
to go in with his white unmentionables,
so he quickly made his resolution. 1t
was three o'clock in the morning and
nobody stirring so he carefully disrobed
himself of. his whites and placed them
in safety upon the fence, while he gave
chase, with unscreened pedals, through
wet grass after the horse, But the
steed was fond of clover, and had no
notion of leaving it. But our hero was
not to be thwarted, although he began
to realize the truth of the old adage
about the course of true love, &c, and
finally the horse was captured.
Returning to the fence where he had
safely suspended his lilly white unmen-
tionables-O! lHaa5ite Dictx, what
horrible sight met his eyes! The field
into which -his-horsc- In bccn turn cd
was not only horse pasture, but calf
pasture too, and the naughty calves at
tracted by the white flag on the fence,
had betaken themselves to it, and, calf
like, bad almost eaten them up: only a
few we'll chewed fragments of this once
valuable article of his wardrobe now re-
mained-only few shreds-just sufi
cient to indicate what they had BEEN
What pickle this was for nice young
man to be in. /
1t was now daylight, and the indus
trious farmers were up and about, and
our hero, far from home, with no cover
ing for his travelling apparatus. It'll
would not do to go back to the house
of his lady-love, as they were now all
up, and how could he get in without ex
hibiting himself to his fair one which
might ruin the match. No; no that
wouldn't do. Neither could he go to
the town in that plight There was on
ly one resource left him, and that was
to secrete himself in the bushes until
the next night, and then get home un
der cover of the darkness. This he re-
solved to do, and accordingly hid himself
in thick groupc of bushes.
Safely hid: he remained under the
cover of the bushes for some time, and
it may be imagined that his feelings to-
ward the calf kind were not of the most
friendly character; but ere long his Sc
clusion was destined to be intruded up
on. The family of the fair one seeing
his horse still remaining in the pasture,
enquired- of the lady what she had done
with her lover; she was no -plussed.-I
She only knew he had left no ne about
o'clock in the morning things didn't
look right; if he had gone, why did he
leave his horse Suspicion was awak-
ened. Bye and bye the boys, who had
been out to feed the calves, returned
with the remnants of the identical white
garments which adorned the lower limbs
of their late visitor. They were man.
gled and torn to shreds. An inquest
was Immediately held over them. Some
awful fate had befallen the unfortunate
young man. The neighbors were soon
summoned to search for his mangled
corpse, and the posse with all speed set
off with dogs and arms to the search
| The pasture was well secured, and the
adjacent thickets, when 10! our hero
was driven from his lair by the keen
scent of the dogs, all safe, alive and
we'll, but minus the linen. An cxpla-
nation then ensued at the expense of
our hero, but he was successful in the
end He married the girl and is now liv-
ing comfortably in one Of the flourish
ing towns in Iowa. :.nogt: l.. r.... ....