The north Iowa times. [volume] (M'Gregor [i.e. McGregor], Iowa) 1856-1857, 1857-08-07
MGREGOR, FRIDAY, AUG z, 1857.

reasoned, "that dress which was worth
thirty dollars should cost ten dollars to
make it up" and with this reflection
consoled myself. So when l heard the
proposal to take this other dress to
madame, ] argued, that, if she charged
in the same proportion, her bill would
be three dollars, which Struck me as not
excessive. and accordingly l made no
objection to the suggestion, but lighting
a cigar. sat thinking of Mary AIMS
many virtues. and especially her knack
for economy ,,s .t ;a............,s. .......
In about q fortnight the dress came
home. It was pretty. blue affair with
palms sct in stripes, and Mrs. Jones
really looked like q summer cloud in it,
as she foat.d about the room, display
ing it in every aspect, expatiating upon
its merits. The sleeves, which were
short, were neatly trimmed with sort
of narrow lace. and the cape-for it was
cut low on the shoulders. and dear Mary
Ann always wears capes over such
dresses-was embellished with a wider
lace of similar pattern, thoughtto my
self it was the cheapest dress for twelve
dollars, making and all, that had ever
seen and as I smoked my cigar, said
mentally, "Ah Jones, what a happy
dog you are to have a wife with such a
knack for economy"
Two days after the bill came in. My
wife opened it first, and l saw her draw
"a very long face as she ran her eye over
it. However, she rallied Immediately,
and handed the missive to me. l glanc-
ed over it. &- ..-. 3.. ID.
"Whew" said I. Eight dollars
for making dress that cost only nine
Surely, Mary Ann, there must be some
mistake here ?"
"Oh no, my dear" she said briskly.
my brocadc you know cost ten dollars
to make and TRIM and this is two dol
lars cheaper"
"But this dress cost only nine dol
lars." said l. a.
"The cost of the dress, my DEAR"
she replied, smiling benevolently at my
ignorance, "has very little to do with
the cost of making and trimming it."
''The dickens it hasn't p began.
"Hush p said my wife, playfully put.
ting her hand over my mouth, Smithy,
dear, you mustn't swear" And taking
the bill, commenced going over it, item
by item.
Here" said she, 'is the charge for
making the dress, that is for fitting and
sowing it together, two dollars. Now
Pm sure" she continued, appealingly,
"that's reasonable for it takes just as
long, you know, to fit and SOW together
a cheap dress as costly one it's the
time that has to be paid for. Don't you
sec, dear ?"
/ was forced to nod assent to the fair
logiciau, though it was with an internal
groan.
"Then here's the Innings, buttons and
other small items, one dollar, which is
low, very low. Consider how these
matters count up. Beside, it takes time
to go about among the shops, matching
the buttons to the dress" :
could not gainsay this either, but
said to myself that there were five dol
lars still unaccounted for, and that it
would puzzle Philadelphia lawyer to
reconcile this sum to any rational BEINGS
notion of economy. s-...
"There's five dollars left" resumed
Mrs. Jones, which is for the Valencien-
nes-." .-a..
"The what ?" exclaimed. .-.
"The Valenciennes, with which the
cape aud sleeves are trimmed" .
"Oh! that common looking lace p
said 1. a.. "a. ...,.srs7 =. ~ .a.s
"Common lookingv' cried Mary Ann,
her eyes sparkling. Then she laughed
comically. "That shows what you
men know about laces. Why, Smithy,
dear, it's real Valenciennes. and very
cheap and, what's moro, l can use il
on something else, after the dress is
worn OUT aN ""
"But why put real valenciennes, as
you cal it. on so cheap dress ?"
asked. in tone of vexation. "
"1t's that very Vaienciennes that gives
the dress such stylish look" said nv
wife. Everybody knows it's cheap
material and it's only the trimming that
redeems it. All that l require is a
Valenciennes collar TO match it, and
shall be complete"
could not speak for amazement
was dumb, not merely at this strange
notion Of an economical dress, but at
the utter Inconsistencies my wife had
that there was anything extravagant
about it. She availed herself of my
silence to expatiate on the beauty OF
Valenciennes laces in general, and on
that which trimmed her dress in par
ticular: and warming with her subject,
made it finally to appear that we were
under infinite obligations to Madame
Flourish for the opportunity of paying
this bill and buying collar to match
her Valenciennes. Mrs. Jones was so
earnest and sincere, that I thought it
would be pity to break her charming
fdelusion. l resolved, therefore, to
smoke second-rate cigars for tho next
six months, and indulge the dear crea-
.ure in her wishes, and she looks so
lovely. and seems SO happy in her new
dress and collar, that. to confess the
truth, don't regret what I have done.
Nevertheless, as an abstract PROPOSE
tion. l still hold to the secret opinion,
that paying eight dollars for making and
trimming dress that cost only nine.
doesn't exactly show knack for econ
omy. Smith JONES.
A GIANT HoesHEAp.-By walking OF
the head Of Central wharf, our readers
can saa in front Of the cOonar's shon