Nebraska advertiser., 1857-09-03
I6keF's Column.
Ike Partingt0n'S COnlpOSitiOR.

and two before. He has tail which [
grows to the hind part of the body, that
nature has furnished with which to drive 1
the flies away. His head is situated
on the other end opposite the tail, and
is used principalIyto fasten a birdie to
him By, and to put into a basket to eat I
oats with. Horses are very useful ami
mails, and people couldn't get along
very well without specially
truckmen and omnibus drivers who
don't seem to be half grateful enough
because they've got 'em. They are
very convenient animals in the coun-
try, in vacation time, and go very fast
through the country roads, when boys
stick pins into them, a specie of cruel
ty that l won t encourage. Horses are
generally covered with red hair, though
some are white and others grey and
black.
Nobody ever saw q blue horse, which
is considered very strange By eminent
naturalists. The horse is quite an in
telIigent animal, and can sleep stand
ing up, which is very convenient gift,
especially when there is q crowd, and
it is difficult to lay. There is q great
variety Of horses hOrses-clOthes
horses-horse mackerel-saw horse
and horse fies-horse chestnut and
horse radish. The cIothes-horse is a
very quiet animal to have around the
house, and is never known to kick,
though very apt to make a row when
| it gets capsized. The same may be
said Of the saw horse, which viii stand
without tying.
The horse fly Is a vicious beast, and
very annoying in the summer time,
when fellow is swimming. Horse
mackerel I don't know anything about,
only that they swim in the water, and
are a specie Of fish. Horse chesnuts
arc fine to pelt Mickies with, and horse
radish is a mighty smart horse, but
bad to have standing around where
there's children. The horse Is found
in all countries, principally in livery
stables, where they can DC hired by
the mile, and are considered by them
as can get money, great luxury, es-
pecially in the sIeighing season. In
South America they grow wild, and
the Indians catch them with nooses
that they throw overthe horses heads,
which must be thought by the horses
a great noosance.-B0stOn Post
! "You are from the country are you
not, sir?7 said a dandy clerk, in a
book store, to handsomely dressed
quaker, who had given him some
trouble.
''Yes."
"Well, here is an essay on the rear
ing of calves"
THAT, said Aminidab, as he turn
ed to leave the store, ''thee had better
present to thy mother .
dad, if was to see a duck on the
wing, and was to shoot it, would you
lick me?''
"0h no, my son, it shows you are a
good marksman, and | would feel proud
of you"
well then, dad, pcppcred our old
drake as he was flying over the fence,
to-day, and it would have done you
goOd>tO see her drap'''
A little boy once said to his grand
mother:
Grandmother, I hope you viii die
first.
"Why so my child ?"
Because l can stand trouble better
than you cam
This hit from an afectionate and
brave boy ecc;lsiOned great laughter.
Dabster reduces everything to math-
emathics. He got married because
kissing saves fifty per cent on his su-
gar tax. Old bachelors viii please no
tice.
"Come here and tell me what the
four seasons are?
Young prodigy answer: pepper,
mustard, salt and Yinegar-them' S
what mother always seasons with.
"Joseph, are you phiIanthropist =
said gentleman e, a cOlcred gemman.
Lord, yes, Massa, lubs everybody
has an affection for the whole hu-
man race, all mankind in particular.
! The sensitive actor who couldn't sit
/ In the same room with tea-urn on ac-
count Of It's Kissing, has Just been Kill
ed By '.burst Of applause
An ITishnan referring to the sudden
death of a relative was asked If he
lived high. SWell, Ican't say he did, ?
said Terence, shut he died high. Like
the United States Bank, he was sus-
pended
Dickens says Of one OF his charac-
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