Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1857-02-07
Dnnlorous.

Almost everybody has bad cold about
now, Smith and Jones among tbs rest. A
etreetcorneI dialogue between them sounded
something like this Smith How deye do;
Jones Jones pretty bwell, ody I have
bad code. How are you, Smith, Smith l
have subting Of a code too. but it's getsig
bwell agil. Jones: What bebicl did you
take ! Smith: sdu1cd up laudabum al
bwater.--Do you take anything2 Jones:
Do, just grid ad bear IT,
"What are you staring at, sir, may ask n
said an imperialed. moustached blood" to q
"Hoosier" On Mississippi steamboat, who
had been watching him as cat watches a
mouse, for some fifteen minutes. 81 thought
sir !" exclaimed the IIosier, the moment thu
other spoke 81 said you'd got a mouth, and
| was only waitin to be sartin sboutit to ask
you TO liquor Stranger, what'll you drink
or had you rather fghtr don't care which
myself"
MIsrspErsrANDrsd.-T other day the
conductor of q train on a New York Railroad
discovered an trishman in the car soon after
starting from Rome and demanded his fare.
Pat declared he had no money The conduc-
tor, alter lecturng him, told him to leave at
the hrst stopping place, not FAR distant. Ac-
cordingly, Pat was one Of the first 20 get of
at the next station. But judge OF the con-
ductors surprise and wrath TO find him aboard
when tho train was fairly under way.
Did | not tell you to get OFF,
"And sure | did"
"Why, then, are you here again!'
"And sure, did you not say oil aboard!"
A woman will cling to the chosen object
of her heart like possum to gum tree and
,Af In, .,t,,..
strings no art can mend and leaving a 1or-
tion Of her soul upon the upper leather of her
affections. She will sometimes see some thing
to love where others will see nothing to adj
mire and when her fondness is once fastened
on a fellow it sticks like glae ard molGsses to
bushy head of hair,
PRESENT FASHION,
"Bonnet on the shoulders,
Nose up TO the sky,
Both hands full of flounces,
Raised la Slang high.
Under-skirts bespattered,
Look amazing neat,
All your silks get watered'
Sweeping down the street"
BYRON is said to have remarked that "thc
greatest trial to woman's beauty is the
nngro"erul act of eating eggs" Some YAM
kee remarks that the poet .Ould meyer have
seen u lady hanging On by the teeth to
blazing hot corn cob!
Az IRISH AUCTIoSEER, while explating on
the merits Of a telescope, eagerly Observed
How often has the widows heart leapt for
10Y when she has behed Eer husband at a
distance brought near 70 her by such an
instrument as this
A servant gill fell against a stove in such
manner as to brand upon her arm ths date,
which happened to be on The stoye-lc49-
A surgeon was sent for, who however hap
pened to be absent, and in his place an sssis-
tant cana but when Ire saw the date, he
shook his head and said to himself: There
is no louger any help for this, it IS tso old an
injury"
1ber. is man out West so forgstrul Of
faces that his wife is compelled to keep u
wafer stuck on the end of her nose, that he
NAV distinguish her from other ladies bat this
does not prevent him from making OCCASION
al mistakes.
A clergyman engaged in catechizing the
village school, asked a youngster What his
godlat thers and godmothsrs did for him. -
IL don't know, please your reverence" re-
joined the lad they've done nothing Tor me
get"
A modern writer, WHO is probably ft only
for'treason, stratagems and spoils," says II.
Every thing Is very fine untill yon have got.
A singing wife is like piping sulsucb, great
fun for yosr fislds---dsesd lirssons 10 your
self
Poppy what's meant by Jewish pass
over 2" lit means knoking down AZ lsras.ite,
and then throwing . ssunHsrsst over him.