The Wyandot pioneer. (Upper Sandusky, Ohio) 1853-1868, 1857-04-16
Wit an1 Is II III d +

A lady who must be relative of Mrs.
Partington, we think, .tby marriage, y
was entertaining some friends with a leo
of mutton at dinner, the other day when
one of her guests remarked that the NUT
ton was exceedingly fine in quality. ooh,
yes" said she, "my husband buys the
best. He'is a great epicac.'' She meant
epicure ofcourse.
a little girl, walking in Greenwood
Cemetery, and reading one after another
the praises upon the tombstone of those
who slept beneath, exclaimed, II wonder
where all the sinners are burried!"
A Cockney complaining that he had
lost his appetite, was advised to eat oys-
ters before dinner, which would be the
means OF restoring it. The next day he
met his friend and upbraided him with the
folly of his prescription, stating that che
had eaten hundred oysters in the morn.
ing. and did not find his appetite bit bet
ter"
An exchange paper says that cueum.
bers can be made into pickles while grow
ing, if you get cross old maid to look
over the fence at the vines three times
a week! The editoris an old bachelor
We'll bet a pickle.
Talleyardson leaving Paris once on q
foreign embassy, was asked by creditor
not for the large sum which he owed him
nor for any portion of it. but simply if his
Excellency could give him even distant
idea of the time when it might suit his
convenience to repay.-".sir,'' said the
diplomatist, ''you are very inquisitiye.''' .
An Albany editor thinks his property
in that city would have been carried away
by the late food had it not been for the
heavy mortgages on it. sa
"Ladies and gentlemen said an auc-
tioneer, sthese articles are no sham-they
are genuine tapestry carpets made by Mr..
Tapestry himself ra fass
AN IRISH NoTIcE.-W Whereas, Patrick
O'Conner lately left his lodgings, this is
to give notice thatif he does not return
Immediately, and pay for the same, he
will be advertised. s s-sta. q
DR.. Cassin having heard the famous
Thomas Fuller repeat some verses on a
scoldlng wife, was SO delighted with them
as to requset copy. "there is no neces-
sity for that, " said Fuller, "as you have
got the original go @
Once at the Holland house, the CONVEX
sation turned upon FIRST love. Tom
Moore compared it to potatoe, ''because
it shoots from the eyes," 'eOr rather, +"
exclaimed Byron, "because it becomes all
the less by paring.''
"Mrs. Briggs" said neighbor, who
stepped into the house of the former just
as she was Sc ating herself at the dinner
table, "have you heard of the dreadful
accident?'
''Why no. what is it?''
"Mr. Briggs has fallen from the wagon,
and is killed."
"Is it possible! Well just wait until |
finish my dinner, and then you'll hear
crying"
When a man calls for boot jack &c
draw off his gloves you may conclude he
has been dining with a friend.
VIVA VocE-A green member of the
Nebraska Legislature, when the election
of the Assistant clerk came up, called out
''Mr. Speaker, l move we vote vice versa. ;
The whole house burst into a roar, anc
not knowing what it meant, greeny asked
his right hand man if it was not in order
adding that he did not know any thing
about these parliamentary ruzesp
"Madam." said old Bogen TO his
boarding house keeper, "in priniliVe
countries beef is often legal tender but
madam said he emphatically, thrusting
his fork intosthe steak, call the laws IN
christendom couldn't make this beef fen
der.