Marshall County Democrat. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1855-1859, 1857-04-16

husband:
Jane, your absence will ruin all Think
of your husband-your Tarents-your
children. Return--al may be well--hap.
py. Al any rate enclose the key Of the
cupboard where the wine is.
Children AJAX some curious questions
We have = little boy in our house, who
came home from Sabbath school one day
and meeting his mother, the following
dialogue took place:
Mammal
We'll, my dear.'
Mamma, the teacher says people are all
made Of dust
Yes, my dear, so the Bible says
We'll, mamma, sre white people made
Of dust
Yes
We'll, then 'spose colored people are
made of coal dust, amt they?'
Jack, your wife is not so pensive as she
used to be- Well, no--she has left off be-
ing pensive, some time ago, and has be-
come expensive
An old man. when dangerously sick,
was urged 10 take the advice of physi-
clan, but objected, saying, 4 wish to die a
natural DEATH
The editor Of the "Wring and Twist"
says he has seen the continuance which
our lawyers and stump orators use when
they '.warm up with the subject" He
merely says, Its a glass concern that
holds about pint"
EFRobert Hall, on one occasion. be-
ing Disguised with the egotism and con-
duct OF apreacher, was provoked to say:
'There was a fine passage in your dis
course, to-day, SIR
Il am rejoiced to hear you say so; which
was it?'
Your passage from the pulpit to the
xestry.
~ Johnny, enc bright evening, wat
standing by the window gazing at the
moon and stars. and after looking at them
very intently, for some time, said:
Mamma, what are those bright little
things in the sky? Are they the moons
little babies?'
What is that which moves when you do
but is not part of yourself? Your shadow
What is that which you can give away,
and have it increased, and yet retain it
yourself? Information.
Why is love like duck leg? Because
it is often hid in the breast.
Why is love like potato? Because it
shoots from the eye.
What is that which we often return yet
never borrow? Thanks.
What is that which cats have, but moth
ing else has? Kittens.
Why is melancholy lady the pleasant
est of all companions? Because she is
a musing.
Which five letters may form sentence
expressive Of forgiveness? l y QS Z.
Why is pawnbroker like drunkard?
Because he takes the pledge but cannot
keep It.
Go it strong when you make love to
pretty widow. More people have erred
by too little than too much in this particu
lar.
a German prince in dream saw three
rats, one fat, another lean, and third
blind. He sent for gipSey to interpret
his dream. 'Thc fat rat, she answered, SIS
your prime minister, the lean rat is your
people. and the blind rat is yourself
Any sleighing out your way, Bob?'
Heaps of it, and plenty more lying
along tie fence
Fond of it?
Nothing shorter. Killed five horses
last week. If that don't show l am fond
of Staying. | don't know what would
Alta festival that lately came off, boy
who did not get fair chance at the eata-
bles, said that some of the visitors had
been starving themselves so long in antici.
patton of the feast, they had become
hollow, and that he could hear the first
mouthfulls they swallowed strike the bot
toms of their boots.
The man who can crack a joke in half a
minute, after fftytwo pound weight has
fallen on his toes, may be called excrucia-
tingIy funny.
Mr.. Jones. do you think marriage is a
means Of grace?'
Certainly; anything is means of grace
that leads us to repentance
Scene closes with broom handle.
A Yankee editor says he liked to died a
larfin, to see a drunken chap trying to
pick up the shadow of swinging sign,
thinking it was pocket handkerchief
Why is a gm-smith's shop like chick
en- pie? Because it contains fowl-in
pieces (fowling pieces.
A western paper records melancholy
case of suicide A young gentleman ate
peck Of dried apples, and then drank
water until he bursted The rash act was
caused in consequence of his father for
bidding him to grease his moustache with
IL En.f