Smyrna times., 1857-07-29

u
needless command, as had not the power of
forgetting her. Love, or more properly speak
ing passionate friendship, is not always to be
controlled by volition, but often twlnes itself
around every fibre of the heart as to sci all YO-
| lltion at defiance. This is true oftentimes, and
hence has arisen the old aphOrism that first
love is the only love- That home. leaving is
an ndestructible thing of memory. How can
speak of the parental warnings aud counsel,
and tears, ofa sisters sweet smiles and loving
kiss, and of Juias tenderness. SO dear to my
heart | wrapped my soul in great resolves.
Nothing would satisfy me but fame and glory,
and then it was delightful TO think that she
would hear of me and be proud. and would mar
ry me for my greatest. Alas! how we deceive
ourselves. The girl who will not love you for
your heart will not love you for your greatness.
She may wed your fame, but yol-neveF.
Years passed swiftly, and we saw but little
of each other The school where studied was
far away, and frequently when | went home to
spend vacation she was touring in far-of' parts
of the country. 1t grew more apparent every
year that my heart had lost its hold upon
her. She was colder, more formal, when
we were together. There was in her bear ng
towards me none of that charming frankness
and friendly ease which used to mark our in
tercourse. We scarce ever wandered through
the woods by the stream, our readings were
discontinued, and fashionable talk substituted.
This was nausGous TO me. My ambitious eff
forts had drawn me from the world and giving
my being an impetus in another and opposite
direction. Our paths were diverging, the dis
tance of direction grew wider everyA year, wi
der-wider.
alt would be doing her injustice TO suppose
that she was ever unklnd III action or word
She ever extended to me the same hand of Sis
terly kindness, she displayed the same gentle
ness and regard for my happiness and interests.
But this was not what | wanted. 1t was love,
wild, passionate, whole-souled love, that | so
earnestly craved. Some heart to throw myself
upon when the night of loneliness and dispute
tude came over my soul, some voice that could
thrill the darkness like the nightingale's song;
! for these | would have bartered worlds were it
possible. | saw my bright hope of future hap
piness vanish like the stars al morning; for tie
sympathies and subtle instincts which formerly
laid my soul open to the sweet influences which
are the boarded wealth of woman's nature, were
called away as doves to their cots at evening.
'Tis said that hope is the last thing that dies
| out of the human heart, and that when it dies
| the death-bell rings. And to the sweet image
that hope painted in my heart, most gladly |
! excla med
Soothe, gentle image, soothe my mind
Tomorrow Levitt may be kind.
"Then came college days, bright sunny days,
that flew swiftly as weaver's shuttle, and
wrought gorgeous web of fancy and truth
Those days are now forever gone. A fortnight
ago they were ended, and thought heard
gates closing on my soul. 1t may have been
fancy, but it seemed like truth. During my
college life my visits home were not frequent,
on account Of the great distances intervening !;
my summer vacations were spent at the springs
and seo-shore, and those of winter in the COL
lege-town. Ambition possessed me, ruling me
with sceptre of iron. Night and day s'rove
for honors, but my heart was aching. The lau-
res could not fill the void. Commend TO me as
the best example Of misery that man who wears
laurel and myrtle on his brow, while his heart
is dry, pqrched, cracking in wide issures for
want of the dew of love.
Last summer went back to the old home
stead, with its many-sacred fields, with deep
woods and odorous gardens, with much of the
feeling which an exile bears in his heart to-
wards his long g-loved home. Things were not
greatly changed, and memory could readily re-
produce the same state of affairs that existed
years before. Those loved ones who dwelt be-
/ meath the home-roof were the same as when
babe them adieu. save few gray hairs that
frosted on revered heads, and the fuller blown
bloom of sisters wsmanhood. The change
J was most striking in me. The blithe boy had
| grown into an ambitious, restless man, who was
almost maddeDed by the impetuous blood of one
and twenty. AS for Julia, she was still kind and
pleasant, but very different from the gentle,
sympathzing spirit, who was guardian angel
unto my boyhood. We renewed again the
pleasant intercourse of the past sometimes
} strolling forth in the sweet morning when the
f dew was on the grass and the birds were piping
: on the spray, and recalling the delightsome
! memories of other days, until her silver-trebIed
+ laughter shook the Dir with its delicious trills
: or haunting like spirits the dells and streams
3 where we were wont to loiter through the sum-
8 mer days Tapped on vioent-mounds and prim-
rose banks. She praised me for the honors
D won, (ah she did not know whose image point
y ed the students eyes towards them, and spurred
e him onward in the hours of midnight when the
{ reeIing brain and svertasked body craved re-
: pose.) and painted pictures OF the future, in
which stood forth clad in the insignia of great
n ness. but never for moment touched the CHORD
i in INV heart that yearned so for q sweep Of hel
: fingers. She spoke of her friends, mentioning
It one. of whom some report had gained my ears
: in manner that seemed almost too tender fo
8 the relations of ordinary friendship. Those
8 who have ever been similarly situated can aP
n urecate my feelings. lam willing to acknowl
}, eye little jealously, for believe that no maj
,. can panoply his heart against it, and in erOti
affairs it is begotten of the holiest affections
Y II il one of the spies that love sent out to in
q spect the promised land. Happily if it come
IS back laden with grape clusters.
h "One night when the heaven was one broat
IS dome Of cerulean, decked with piles of snov
y clouds, Enthusiastically shaped and ever moving
1t when the moons broad disk of silver whitene
Is the earth, and the stars kept holy watch owe
W her sleeping form--just the duplicate of tina
e. other night which shaped itself into my dream
D. --we walked out to gather wood-flowers an
10 enjoy the -inhuences of tho season. While W
stood by waterfall our hands had fashione
ID down in the wood, she told me conhdngly
le great secret. She was to be married dnrin
in the summer. | do not know what said IN m
IL Il