The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1857-10-10

and manner, which may crafty natural
curiosity.
AS there is disposition on the part of
many respectable but nervous persons to
avoid jam on leaving the sanctuary, and as
such persons are generally on the jump
several seconds ahead of the uttering of the
last amen, it is proposed to remedy the diff
Guilty. A gratuty of five hundred dollars
per annum, paid to an expert and fashionable
sexton-Mr Brown Black-will entitle the
donor to what is denominated the pririlegium
ecclesi~. This confers the exclusive right of
coming into church any time after the ser
vices have commenced, and of leaving
previous to the beginning of the benediction.
\ private door, most curiously constructed.
opens out of a number of the highest priced
peNs, into beautifully furnished apartment,
from whence easy egress is had through the
main entrance. BY this means persons of
nice and refined tastes may avoid the crowd
and dust occasioned by large congregation
retiring from a place of worship, and be
enabled to reach their Irrespective places of
abode" several minutes sooner than they pos
sibly could in the ordinary way The p1irile-
gi"m errleSi" will also include permission to
retire through the private door, on the pos
slhle contingency of some strange clergyman
preaching sharp doctrine. 1t is we'll known
that nothing is more uncomfortable than to
sit still and have your darling and bcsctting
sins erco'iotcH by a gentleman in black silk
gown. to whom YOU have no chance to say
mitigating word. More especially is this
the case when You have not the slightest in
tcntion to abandon the harmless pcccadillos.
about which the minister. in his theological
enthusiasm. is making >ucha spluttcr
1t is a common observation, that many in
dividual> of delicate or cnfccblcd constitu-
tons. who are in the habit of attending
church. find it difficult to keep awake during
the entire continuance of the services. In
regard to these our worthy doctor has long
advocated a theory as philosophical as it is
comfortable. He is of the opinion that a
short nap is preferable to continued drow>i-
ness. and that a person in a Scmi-dormant
state. engaged in an unequal combat with
Morpheus. and striving to keep awake. is one
Of the most ludicrous and pitiable spectacle>
in the world. The allowed Indulgence of a
few minutes sleep. therefore. the good doctor
thinks admissible and advisable, because it
cniivcnS and rctrc>hcs the power of the mind.
and >hafpcnS the religious Scn>ibilitcS to
such 4 degree that the sermon is a.tcrward
all tn" better appreciated. In Difference ,o
tbs lrtirinitv of Our sluggish nature. and act
irg on The benevolent suggestion of Nr.
Goo;a>thchcst. the trustees have procured a
great Gcsidcratum. The movable antique
chairs have been furnished with beautifully
cushioned pads. or. more properly. in modern
phrase, church >omnolcnt>." These Somno-
lrNt>. perfect luxury for s!ccpy-hcads. are
ln-cnou>ly contrivcd to slide upward from
the back ofcacf chair. to any required height ::
and the mere sight of them. even to a wake
iul man. is enough to invite to roposc and
dreamy contemplation. Although soft as the
downv breast Of the swan. the samrolcnt is
in shape considerably concavc so that the
sleeper need be under no apprehension that
his head will bob about from side to side
during lis nap. as would be the case were
the somnolcnt entirely fiat. The trustees
have too high a>ensc of the proprictics which
belong to Il Christian church. ever to leave 4
road open for that grotesquc and unsccmlv
journey. vul carly termed. going to the land
of No,l, and hence the concavitv of the SOM
nolcntS.
There Will be no praycr-mcctings or Sun
day-Schools connected with the Church of st.
Dcmas and st. Dives, and during the three
Summer months commencing of course in
1S5>) Sunday morning service will be the
only service of the week. These arrange
mcnts have been thought cxpedicnt from scv
cral considerations
First: The children of the congregation
being under the instruction of numerous
French music and dancing masters during
the week. and strained probably beyond
measure, with view to premature proficient
cy, it follows obviously enough, that they
need the leisure hours of Sunday for suitable
recreation. Confinement i'll close air of a
Sunday-school room, after six days tension
of mind and body, would be as positively a
dctriment to the children, as it would unne-
cessarily consume the sacred Sabbath hours
of those who would be required to teach
them.
Seco"d: In regard to evening praver-meet-
lnss The trustees hold to the grand Scrip
tural principle, that there is time for all
things. Sunday, for instance, they consider
as the appropriate and Ieaven-appointcd
ii ne for going to church. They are quite
wiling therefore that the hirhI,, f,sb;,l