Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1857-02-27
EVENING STAR.
Doesticks Determines to bs Garoted.
From the New York Picayuue

| nlgu Hle 10 oe cnoKed ana ro0bed-the hero
victims Of the garote are as much lionized in
polite circles at present, as Polish mobiles and
Hungarian refugees once were Instead of
| stars, ribbons and orders, damaged faces and
| broken heads are now the rage in Fifth Ave
nue. smashed nose is a surer passport to
social distinction than the Order of the Garter,
and black eye is better capital for soiree and
party free passes than a dozen crosses Of the
Legion of Honor Garotug is exceedingly
useful, too, in matrimonial speculations 4
fast friend of mine, young Deboots, owed old
Bootjack, the oil merchant, $500, for money
| advanced to pay college expenses-young De.
| hoots's guardian sent him the dimes to settle
| the account. That evening young Deboots sat
down to a friendly game of "poker" with a
few friends, much faster than himself and
after five deals his "pile' wasn't worth a
| Spanish quarter. Young DeboOts cogitsted,
and next morning got up an artistic black eye
| WITH some India ink and little gambOge, put
couple of strips of court plaster on his fore
head, and, with his arm in a sling, presented
himself to Old Booijack. He told a doleful
story Of having been garoted, and be showed
the marks. BOotj jack believed the yarn, and
| wrote long letter to young Deboots's GU ard
Ian for more money for that young gentleman.
BooUack's fine daughter saw young Deboots
| In her fathers Cfico-pitied the interesting
| young man, and asked papa to introduce him;
| In three days young DebOots was invited to a
large party at old BoOtjack's, where he was
the lion of the evening, and where he recount
| ed his adventure with his garoters more than
twenty times with additions and variations
Matilda Jane was captivated with the brave
young man-the brave young man improved
his opportunities, and four days ago eoped
With Matilda Jane, who has a hundred thou
and In her own right from her grand aunt
Young Deboots recovered from his black eve
the first time be washed his face; he took his
l r1 fhaA o.11, L
the court plaster off his face the night be was
married and has been a we'll man ever since
PiRtord, my esteemed friend and fellow
boarder at Mrs Snagley's, has been garoted-
and 1t really seems as if tae robbers must
have intimately known his private affairs, be
cause the event occurred On the night Of the
very day that he received a remittance from
England to pay MIS-. S. his five months
boGrd-he appeared at the breakfast table
next morning with a countenance so much
damaged, and was so cast down on Mrs. S. IS
account, that she could not find it in her heart
20 refuse him three months longer credit
until he can get another remittance from Eng
land.
jerks, another OF cur boarders, was garoted
twice Ia one week-it has be wildering effect
upon Jenks-it makes him unsteady in the
legs and causes his breath to smell of rum
punch-On the first occasion of the robbinc
and choking outrage he rung the area bell of
tie house on the other side of the street until
4 policeman inteTfered and brought hin,
hOme-then jerks inveigled the policeman
into the house and delivered him over to me
with many formalities, assuring me that be
was garoter whom he had overpowered and
captured by main strength, and he showed
the star on the IL. P.'s breast as the place
where the invincibls fist of jerks had
" smashed his jaw" jerks was garoted
again two days after, and brought home by
gentlemanly individual, who picked bis peck
cts at the door, took his OyercOat, changed
hats with him, and then rang the bell for the
girl TO come and let jerks into the house
The girl came and found this individual try
ing to whittle CT one Of the pickets Of the
iron fence with his penknfe, and meanwhile
making furious attempt to sing the words of
the Evening Hymn to the Virgin to the classic
air of Root Hog or Die.
The mania has extended even to the kitct-
en-, and the servants are now following the
example Of their betters, and getting garoted
Oh every favorable oppOrtuniCy-if the boy
gees TO the butchers, he i5 invariably, &C,
cording TO his own account, attacked by a
band of ruffians and robbed CT the money
before he gets hone-this has happened four
successive days in broad daylight, and has
cost Mrs. Snagly about four and sixpence a
time. I sent Sally, the little errapd gill with
q dime for some beer, and she returned in
tears, with the news that she too had been
"grOted," and had lost the change. She had
her fist full Of lemon candy, and had tive big
apples in her pocket, which l suppose tie
robbers had given her.
l am positively frightened things are truly
in dreadful state in my neighborhood-
dare not travel on the sidewalk, and have
ruined my best pantalOons walking through
the sush in the middle Of the road L imagine
there is garoter urder every paving stone,
or hiding behind every lamp-post. Daylight
sometimes shows me the strange mistakes
had made in the night. find that have
been two blocks out of my way to avoid
broken wheelbarrow which [ took for q con.
cealed rufian; and have run half mile to
get away from pump, which L ina Cined was
fierce garoter with club raised; and have
on nine occasions crossed the street through
kuoe-deep puddle, to escape molasses hogs
head, which l supposed to be rotund robber
lying in wait for the subscriber This state
Of things was unendurable, and accordingly
armed myself for the want l got a revolver,
bowie knife, dagger, a sluug-shot, sword-
cane, a billy" policeman 8 club, pair Of
brass knuckles, and six good, large paving
stones, which L carried In convenient place
in my over-coat pocket-there wasn't an inch
of me that wasn't guarded by something that
would shoot, strike or stab. had, to be
sure, some little trouble in managing the en-.
tire armory-1 fred away four boxes of per-
cussion caps practising how TO draw and fire
my revolver IN the least space of time-then
1 thought I'd load it, which did, putting 60
IL uch powder into each barrel, that had to
drive the ball in at the cad with tack ham
mer-then 1 tried to fire it, and not barrel
would 90 off-then at dinner accidentally
dropped it, and il all went of at once, lodging
three Of the balls in boiled ham on the ta-
BILE, while the rest brough up in large bowl
of m;nce meat in the kitchen, and were after
wards discovered in the pies by the board.
tLo, II cot dom m hon L-sc
cut my leg half off-then dropped my dag
ger out of the sheath, and it went through the
top of my boot and stuck into my foot three
times have l smashed my toes with my slung
shot; and have broken two entire sets of
chamber crockery, four mirrors, and all nv
wirdow glass, practising with my club and
sword cane.
My pockets are so full of instruments of
death, that they are in the way of my bust
ness-if L want my memorandum book, out
comes my revolver; if have occasion for my
portmannaie / find billy" in its place;