The Nevada journal., 1857-05-22
The way to Collect a Bill.

The way to Collect a Bill.
Old Squire Tobin was slow walker
but slower pay. Blessed with abundan
means, he was considered ultimately
good for any little debt, but he had con
tracted habit of holding on to hi.
money until forced by extra importantly
to fork over.
"There goes the old Squire" sale
Brown the merchant; "I've had a bill
of five dollars and fifty cents against
him for eigh tmonths, and if have asked
him for it once, have done so twenty
times; but he has either not got it with
him, or he will call tomorrow, or, if not
in a good humor, he will swear like a
trooper, at my impudence at dunnine
him at unreasonable times"
Now there was one Joe Harkins, a
waggish sort of a fellow, who heard the
complaint of merchant Brown, and re-
solved upon some fun.
"Come, now, Brown" said Joe. "what
will you bet l can't get the money from
the old Squire, and long before he gets
to his home ?''
"A new hat" said Brown.
Enough" said Joe.
While Brown was hunting the bill,
Joe disguised himself in a striped blan-
@let and slouched hat. Thus equipped,
with the bib in his hand, he took after
the Squire.
Halo, is your name Tobin 2"
Yes" answered the Squire with a
.snarl, "what is that to you!''
=" [ have little bill, sir-collecting
for merchant Brown, SIR
Merchant Brown can go to thunder,
sir, said the Squire, "I've no money
for him, you must call again.
Joe bowed politely, slipped down the
alley just in time to head the Squire at
the next corner.
oh, sir" said Joe, stopping sudden
ly, Is your name Tobin 2"
"Tobin, sir, is my name"
" Here is little bill, sir, from mer-
chant Brown"
''Zounds SIR" replied the Squire,
didn't meet you just around the cor
ner?'
Meet me ?" replied Joe, "gucss ii
was B., another of Browns collectors.
Then [ suppose merchant Brown
has two red-striped collectors dogging
my steps; [ won't pay, sir, to-day-be-
gone ~ The old Squire, as he said this,
brought down his stick hard upon the
pavement and toddled along.
Joe, nothing daunted, took advantage
Of another alley, and by rapid move
ment, in a few minutes placed himself
once mole in front of the Squire The
old mans bile was making him mutter
and growl as he walked along, now and
then giving point to his anger by very
emphatic knocks of his cane upon the
sidewalk. When within about twenty
feet of each other, the old Squire espied
his striped friend once more in 'front.'
Squire Tobin stopped, and raising his
cane, exclaimed
1" You internal insolent puppy, what
do you mean o.
Joe, affecting great astenighment,
checked up within a short distance and
replied
Mean, sir You surprise me, sir;
don't know you, sir.
' Amt you merchant Browns col
lector, that dunned me five minutes ago?'
Me, sir" replied Joe. a am one
of merchant Browns collectors, to be
sure but | don't know you, SIR
e" Ny name is Tobin, sir" rejoined
the irritated Squire, "and you look like
the fellow that stopped me twice before. -
Impossible, sir - replied Joe. 1t
must have been some other of merchant
Browns collectors. You see, sir, there
are forty of us, all wrapped in red-stri-
ped blankets-and, by the bye, Mr.. To-
bin, think l have a small bill against
you"
Forty red-striped collectors, and
each one after met" calculated the
squire. Darn me, / must put stop
10 this; they viii all overtake me before
reach home Saying which he pull
ed out his wallet and quietly settled
merchant Browns bill of So so.
Joe thanked the Squire, and moved
oft; but as the Squire had another
square to travel before reaching home
doe could not resist the inclination tc
head him just once more. He accord.
ingly made another circuit, and came ir
collision with the angry old man once
more.
"Zounds zounds stranger" vocife
rated the Squire. WHAT Here he
caught sight of the red-striped blanke ct
as Joe, disengaging himself from the olc
man, took to his heels. Squire Tobin'
cudgel was fercely hurled after Joe
accompanied with hearty curse upol
merchant Brown and his forty collector
in red-striped blankets.
1t is unnecessary to say that Jo
Harkins was seen next day topped o1
with bran splinter new hat.
Mr.. Badger of North Carolina, who's
HIct1n l. H. L. i