Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1857-06-04
Written for the Yorkville Enquirer.s
CHURCH MANNERS.
; NUMBER II.


exploits in defence of woman. ;Itis perhaps best
that we gave the gentlemen the first contribution,
as it was uncertain how the untfied science would
bear practical test, and we didntswant to be
'blown up" by the ladies. So You seeit was an
exalted respect and esteem that dictated this seem
ing departure from the iron code of etiquette. II
our new science will only apply to the ladies,
it has reached such degree of perfection, as to
entitleitto place among the permanent sciences,
and we will take out instanter spatent right, -
so as to get the full advantage of all our toll and
study. Besides, it is harder task to stay awake
to take notes, than many Of your readers who are
accustomed to doze quietly, will supposeor allow.
But this, as we said BEFORE depends in great de-
gree on the excitatiyeness Of the sermon, whether
the ladies have dont-mind- rll-give- -you.kickit-
iveuess or observation-disclosures in their looks
and whether or not there are any little four
year old specimens Of humanity to run about and
wake up the congregation by calling old bache.
lors "daddy." TWAS once a mystery to us, Why
laymen and likewise, ministers, objectso strenu-
ously to crying children going to Church; the men
don't like to be disturbed and the preacher don't
like too good attention when he is not we'll pre-
pared to do justice to his theme.
We are wandering of from our first intention,
but who would bachelors and babies not perpiex?
After picking seat, best suited forreconoitefing,
the first thing with US is to look around at thela.
hot &c -.
droll habit contracted in our young days we
we shall not pretend to say, but in taking thiseys
glance we have several Objects in pie,o.: First We
look for familiar faces because there is nothing
more refreshing than these Church. glances at our
acquain' noes with their Sunday looks on This
is certai. lone strong inducemeut to go to Church,
since amid the turmoils of business and the hurry
and hustle to get rich and have the finest house,
and the gayest equipages, 50 much Of the beauty
of the "human face divine" is clouded and OBJ
scured. But on Sunday such is not the case: The
gentleman, and more especially the ladies, have on
their best looks and their best clothes, nor cen
you detect in the radiant countenances Of the lat
ter, single trace of the frown which gathered
there when the new collar wouldn't ft right and
''ma" wouldn't come and FIX it till she agot ready;"
the hoops did not expand so much as Miss SO
and Sos, the parasol could not be found and yari-
GUS other little inconyeniences which mar the
otherwise pleasant two.hours and half the
toilet each Sabbath morning, II has often been.a
matter of serious inquiry to US, how ladies could
"snap up" person before going to Church, and
after she gets there, smooth down her conntenance
into such glorious beauty, that the spectator
involuntarily forges totake notes. and the preach
er invariably looks overthe same way; when talk
ing about angels and other beautiful creatures of
Paradise. In fact, we are sometimes inclined to
think that ladies take these ''tantrums," as some
body calls them, upon the soundest principles Of
philosophy. We know 10
"How beautifully comes on
The Silly hour when storms are gone"
and reasoning from analogy, the ladies may infer
that the morning stampede is the snrest pledge Of
a sunshiny day. But we intend to arrange itso,
that Mrs. SPECTATOR will brew up the storm on
Saturday evening, which can easily be done by
forgetting to purchase some trife she wishes, or
breaking some fayorite piece Of china, for nehold
that even this is better than breaking the Sab
bath ~
Another reason for glancing at the ladies, is to
see how many new faces are visible. Now thisis
a commendable habit provided the motive Is good.
Some people may do it from ill-breeding but with
us, Messrs. Editors, it originates from the identi-
cal, philosophical curiosity which leads as
tronomer to wander about amid old stars in search
of new ones. There is feeling Of oyer;joyful-
ness awakened by beholding in Church q strange
but radiant countenance-a feeling somewhat
akin to that Of a man who after findings lake Of
honey, espies close by In fork-over distance,
tree bending under a load Of veritable pancakes.
Besides strange, fascinating countenance in
Church is ON admirable auti-soporiac Why,
whoever saw a strange lady at Church, especially
if she is pretty or looks like she might be "wel
to do" and did not pity the poor be- gased and
bestared creature, who has no other resource but
to look at an ugly preacher, a ragged carpet ora
bepictured fan and pretend that she is deeply xb-
sorbed in the sermon! Now if every person would
cease this impolite gazing-the ladies to see what
kind of o dress she has on and the gentlemen what
kind of eyes she has-we opine the fair stranger
could sit more at ease.
Now in a philosophic view Of ladies at Church,
their dress, manners, &c., we must by no means
pass by in silence, the important item of jswelry
A great deal can be told about the character and
disposition Of q lady by the quantity, quality and
of the jewelry by which she is bediz-
sned. We could never carry this branch of our
we will term histology for conye.
liece sake-further than to make it Q guage
# vanity or good taste. But We once knew an
I'D bachelor (who never married because he could
lever find, or never rin a lady rich enough) who
carried these speculations so far, that he affirmed
hat he could tell within ten cents Of what prop
rty lady was worth. He was guided entirely
" the amount Of jewclry. 1t was q rule with
lin to discount from the reputed wealth Of q la
~ one thousand dollars for ever article Of jewell
y about her, beyond small brooch, two finger
ings and pair of light ear-bobs. Say she was
worth $4,000 by common report, and wore
air Of large brass earrings, five fuger-rings and
wo bracelets, he put her down rs worth about
IL, 900. The old bachelor above alluded to- was
o much afraid of getting cheated, that we believe
e actually went so far as to say that the lady who,
n addition to the aforementioned ensigus of
1ealth, wore galvanized gold pencil and dumb