The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1857-10-14

HERE are reprOat hes Which give
praise, and praise which rel reaches.
SPEAK kindly to that err.ng man.
Kind words go right down to his
heart.
Sophistrv is like q window curtain-it
pleases as an ornament, but its use is to
keep out the light,
THE young woman who was lost in
thought, after wandering III her own mind
found herself at last in herloFer's arms.
CARE you The mate of the ship?' asked
an emigrant Of the cook who was al Irish
man." "No, sir; I'm the man that cocks
the mate.
WHY is vain young lady Ike q cen
firmed drunkard? Because neither of
49, = --4-c II LII -,a,eela,oto salse of
the glass.
A YOUNG lady being asked why the
noun bachelor was singular, replied, 'sbe-
cause it's very singular they don't get
married"
COLEMAN, the dramat;st, was asked if
he knew Theodore Hook.
"Yes" replied the wit, ':Hook and eye arc
old associates
Sheridan having threatened his son
Tom to cut him off with q shilling, rece;-
we'd this retort: -"Where Will you get
the shilling9"
A knavish attorney asked very wor-
thy gentleman what was honesty. what
is that to you?" sa d he: meddle with
those things that concern you most"
''I'M glad that this coffee don't owe
me anything" said Brown, barber, at
reakfast--'Why? said Smith.-"Be-
cause l don't believe it would ever settle"
GROOM signifies one who serves in an
inferior station. The name of | ridegro I'M
was formerly given to the new married,
because it was customary for him to wait
at table on his bride md friends, on his
wedding-day.
An Irish drummer who now and tn IN
INDUCED in nogg;n of right good pote N
was accosted by the reviewing general:
''Pat what makes your nose SO red %
''Please your honor" said Pat II al
ways bushes when | spakes to an officer
A Mr.. n, WAS about completing the
sale of horse which he was very anxi-
Gus 10 dispose OF, when little urchin APP
peared who in ocently inquired, "Grand-
pa; which boss you goin' to sell, dat one
you build fire under 10 make him
drawn The bargain was at an end.
PUNCH holdeth forth thus .-"G Gallant
~ forbids calling the ladies by hard names
but, without meaning to impugn the or
thodoxy of their sentiments, we must say
that, so long as they allow themselves
such latitude in the article of crinoline,
they run an imminent risk of being spo-
ken of as latitudinarians.
REvERsEs often show us the difference
between romance and reality, in proof of
which we would instance the fact, that
whereas in romances it is the preroga-
tive of young gentlemen only to lie found
sbasking in smile," wewonld like to ask
who has not seen in real life young ladi IS
smiling in q basque?
A MAN riding mare followed by a
colt undertook to swim bis animal across
river. Finding himself swept away by
the current and unable to swim, he in his
confusion seized the tail of the colt. The
spectators upon the shore called out to
him to let the colt go and clutch the dam.
"'Tis no time now," said he, "to swop
horses.
"WHAT has brought you here" said
lone woman, who was quite illustrated,
che other morning, by an early call from
a bachelor friend who lived opposite, and
whom she regarded with peculiar favor
81 came to borrow matches" -sM atches
that's likely storyl Why don't you
make match yourself! / know what
you come for" cried the exasperated old
virgin, as she backed the bachelor into
corner; "you came here to kiss me almost
to death! But you shan't without you are
the stronger, andsthe Lord knews YOU
ars!'