Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1857-05-22
humorous.
comical Report ola Fish Convention.

Tlnc HlpuSltIe, VIZ HSh' anu 7'ii'''A -
of the great deep are assembled in con-
clave-thc Whale a" in the chair"
lie opened the Convention by stating
that he did not wish to make a speech !;
he would take up as little room, and be
no longer than possible. (IIoro the
Shark whispered to the Sword Fish that
it was not possible for the Whale to be
much longer, as he was over 80 feet
now. In his opinion, he only wanted
chance to spout in fact, he considered
him a regular blowcr.)
The Whale contended that he had been
grossly insultei by mamie might say
lanpooned; not that he would pun upon
the use made of his fat, as he did not wish
to make light of such matter. He had
been harpooned at least. Men were sar-
castle toward him, and their shafts were
sharp and pointed Some of his fellow
whales had been much cut up, and ex-
ceedingly tried He had latterly learned
that substitute for oil had been inven-
ted, which might lessen the persecution
whales-but he feared it was gas. The
Whale alluded to harpoon which had
lately hit him, and, he feared, had af-
focted him deeply. Here his feelings
overpowered him, and he sat down (on
the Shark amidst general blubber.
The shark rose with some difficulty,
and remarked that the tale of the Whale
had moved him; in fact, it was very
striking. His own situation was far
from pleasant. He was by profession
lawyer, and he fattered himself, one of
the deep kind. But business was bad,
and he had been obliged to take in few
pupils. He had lately presented fine
opening for young man who had fell
overheard, but was soon afterward
obliged to reject his suit as indigcstible.
Unless he had more cases, he should
leave law and open as dentist
The Sea-Serpent did not wish to ip-
trudc upon the Convention; he did not
know whether he properly belonged to
the fish tribe or not All he asked was,
not to be classod with the Eel, whom he
considered to be very slippery charac-
ter (Hcre the Eel was observed to
wrigglc violently.) Lately, he was
passing a certain species of the Eel,
when, just happening TO touch him, he
had been so shocked that he hardly re-
covered
The Eel hastily arose, and said he was
shocked, he might say electrified at these
remarks. 1t was evident to him that the
Serpent must get himself into coil
As for his being a " slippery character, +"
he thanked Neptune he didn't belong
to such a scaly set as the Serpent.
The Whale called the Eel to order,
and the Eel called the Whale an "old
swcll-hesd," and was then summary
put out Of the Convention.
The Turtle said he was suffering from
indisposition. He was walking on shore,
he said, short time since, when he me!
party of jolly young sailors. The re.
suit was, that he was laid on his back
and was unable to move for some time,
and since then he had not felt so lively
as usual, There was one thing to which
he would call the attention of the Con
vention; he prided himself upon the pu.
rity of his political principles The
shark had lately insulted him by calling
him regular old Hard She'll"
Here the Shark interrupted him BY
saying, Is not that your case p
The Turtle replied, that he should say
nothing more at present, but should
have something to lay before the next
meeting.
Yes, replied the Shark, contemptu
ously; " a few eggs probably"
The Porpoise undertook to speak, bu
was speedily silcnced. The expression
of the Convention was, that he was
blower"
The Small Fry were next called upol
Oysters, HOLSTERS, and others. Tn,
oyster opened his case, which was har,
one. lie was always in trouble--a per
petual stew or boil. His half brother
Clam, was a disgrace to the family; al
ways in liquor, and generally considered
squirt" Some of his family were
indolent and spent most of their time in
beds" There had been some rakes
among them, who had created great dis.
turbance.
There was ane e. his his neigh hbo77-s he
said--he would not call any names, for
ne scorned scandal-who was very surly
and grabbed. lie was one-sidcd in
dividual, and nobody approved of bis
motion.
The Crab protested against this abuse,
and said that the rest took advantage Of
him because he was "soft." lie re-
spectfully retired BACKWARD
The Goldfish, who had been visiting q
school, the Shad, much net-tled at
what he had heard; the aristocratic Sal
mon, who got into row with a York
State Trout, who called him a Northern
Fish with Southern principles; and the
Flying Fish, who flew into tremen-
dous passion-all took part in the pro-
eeedings of the Convention.
But so it was, at last, as the eruditC
Dogberry has it, that "thc whole assem-
bly, disappeared" in good order, not
withstanding an attempt at disturbance
made bya Jolly old Sole" and ga lo
Of Suckers"
ny ttTou,,n,. ,,,,- co.., ,,l.l - -,