Cooper's Clarksburg register. [volume] (Clarksburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1851-1861, 1857-09-18
THE MARRIED MANAFTER THE
HONEYMOON. '~''---

M - u'NN ~ 4 E1N = AAA@
HONEYMOON. '~"-.
Will wives always continue the same 10
their husbands as during their honey
moon? This is serious question, but
rather out Of place here, as We are writing
Of married men, and not of their better
halves. But we shall merely remark, en-
passaut. that women do not grow weary
Of love and tenderness with the same ra-
pidIty as our noble selves therefore it is
not the wife who would hasten this most
eyentful Of the changes Of the moon.
When a man has been married some
six weeks, it is astonishing how peculiar
" pressing his business suddenly becomes.
He NO longer id!es away the forenoon in
frivolous conversation with his cara Sposa,
bu, rarely allows himself TO throw down
his coffee and bot his buckwheat, he is
into his boots in n twinkling and off like
"a rocket run mad. Perhaps the vile
seeks to detain him AN instant. but the
man Of business be5s to be excused, say
ing: .-
Mrs. Sneevcs. business is business.
and must be attended to. should like
to stop to talk to you, but can't possibly"
and off he goes to his favOrite hotel to
peEuse the morning papers and TO Eegale
himself with a cigar.
When Mr. Sneeves comes home to
dinner, Mrs Sneeves runs smiling to meet
him, pats him on the cheek, and very
likely salutes him but all this is very
annoying to our worthy married man.
LET me alone, my love-" he exclaims
pettishly. II have no time for fooling.
There, there-you are very pretty; but
if you really wish to do ME pleasure, do
90 away. there's dear !"
They sit at the table. and our pattern
of husband is no longer found as IN the
early days OF their marriage.
"Neglecuug his dinner to gnzo on her faces"
and il Mrs. Sneeves. in the fullness OF her
affection, tenders him tit-bit from her
own plata errididdle, for instance
Mr.. Sneeves pretends not to notice her,
but to be infinitely occupied in thought;
or perhaps he snappishly observes:
''Do stop your nonsense, Mrs. Sneeves.
and don't annoy me. l don't like that
part-it is too fat" as the case may be.
Wnen Mrs. Sneeves buys a new bonnet,
and comes to exhibit it to Sneeves. with an
insane idea Of atfordiug him pleasure, say
ing:
"How do you like this. my dear ? Do
you think it becomes me 90
Mr.. Sueeves replies without imposing
upon himself the fatigue Of even casting
his eyes upon his wife.
eyes. yes very pretty you are
charming creature. Mrs. Sneeves; charm
ing; but I'm reading--there's a good
dear y
When Mrs Sneeves becomes quite
hurt, and inwardly resolves never in the
least bit to put herself out endeavoring to
please her husband again.
When Mr.. SneeVes accompanies her to
a party. he leaves her at the earliest op-
rortuuity in the corner of the drawing
room to amuse herself as she may. and
off he goes to the amiable lady in blue !;
or perhaps. to a dozen different ladies. in
n dozen different colors. No matter who
the lady is, provided she is not his wife
His wife. indeed the very idea is an ab>
surdity.
After awhile Mr.. Sneeves takes hand
at whist-time passes he is interested
in the game, aud never bestows a thought
upon poor Mrs. Sneeves, who is weary Of
dancing" and dying to go home. AT
last Mrs. Sneeves summons resolution to
speak to her lord, and accordingly ap-
proaches the card table, and in mild
tone says: .'..I -.t
My dear, isn't it time for US to think
ofgoing home ?"
ayes directly Go. dance little. and
then we'll go. Let me see what is tFumPs?
Spades" ,............ lr.-- -rrT-r
~ don't wish to dance any more. 1
EoK: 81 Il p ~ u
"Well, sit down and rest; but don't
bother me. Confound you've made me
lose that trick - ....-
Poor Mrs. Sneeves is silent. and retir-
ing from the table. waits patiently for
half an hour. and then returning to the
whist players. coaxingly addresses the
gentleman with:
"Come, Mr.. Sneeves. il is very late
are you going to come q"
"Yes. in Eve minutes, not more than
five minutes, and then am at your SER
vice. .-.- -aaa
And miraculous to observe, these min.
utes occupy FIVE and thirty minutes in
passing. Al length. our married man
gets up from the table: and. unfortunate
ly for Mrs. S., a loser. He snarls out as
he mechanically takes her arm-'Deyil-
'Sh annoying not to be able to do as one
pieases-to have soma one after you.
without cessation dingdinging you to 60.
when you would not 20. Women are the
most unreasonable beingsI All when i
was bachelor did as I pleased. What
eon1ounded fool sasto throw my neck