Spirit of the age. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1849-1865, 1857-04-01

been | wouldn't have been a candidate, butt
am going to tell you where-'twas not in the
Mississippi, but it was on the south side of
the negro line yet that's no compliment. as
the negroes are born on this. I started in
this world poor as a church mouse, vet I came
honestly by my poverty, for / inherited it,
and no man can say but that / have held on
remarkably well.
Candidates generally ask you if you think
they are qualified, &c. Now I don't ask
your thoughts, / ask your votes. Why,
there's nothing to think Of, except to watch
that swans name is on your ticket; if so,
think to scratch it off and put mine on. /
am certain that [ am competent, for who
ought to know better than I d o?-nobody.
will allow that Swan is the best auditor,
that is, till am elected-then perhaps it is
not proper for me to say anything more yet,
as an honest man, | am bound to say that
it's a g%rlevous sin to hide anything from my
fellow citizens therefore | say that it's my
private opinion, publicly expressed, that I'll
make the best auditor ever in the United
States.
""Tis not for honor | wish to be auditor
for in my own county, | was offered an Of
ice that was all honor -Coroner-which |
respectfully declined. The auditors Office is
worth some $4,000 a year, and,I find / am in
for it like a thousand brick. To show nv
goodness of heart, I'll make this offer to nv
competlt'oner: ! am sure of being elected,
and he will lose something by the canvass
therefore l am willing to divide equally with
him, and make these two offers: I'll take
the salary and he may have the honor, or
he may have the honor, and, Il take the
salary. In the way of honors, / have re.
ceived enough to satisfy me for life. l went
out to Mexico, eat pork and beans-slept in
the rain and mud, and swallowed almost ev-
erything except live Mexicans. When I was
ordered to Co. | went, Charge | charged,
and Break for the chapperell,' you had bet
ter believe / beat a quarter nag in doing my
duty. -
My competitor, Swan, is a bird of golden
plumage, who has been swimming for the
last four years in the auditors pound, at 3d.
.0J0 a year. | am for a rotation. / want to
rotate him out, and rotate myself in. There
is pIenty:of room for him to s vim out side of
that point therefore pop in your vote for me
III pop him out and pop myself in.
Z" am for a division Of labor. Swan says
he has to work all the time with his nose
upon the public grindstone. Four years
must have ground it to a point. Poor fellow,
the public ought not to insist on having the
handle of his mug ground clear off. l have a
large full grown nose, and tough as sole
leather. l rush to the rescue. l offer it ur
as a sacrifice. | clap it on the grindstone.-
Fellow citizens, grind away-till l hoAol
enut, and that'll be some time first.
I" Times most out. Well, / like to forgo
to tell you my name. It's Daniel, flor shor
Dan. Not a handsome name, for my parents
were poor people, who lived where the quail
ity appropriated all the nice names there
fore they had to take what was left and di
vide around among us-butit's as handscm
as | am Daniel Russell. Remember ever,
one of you that it's not Swan
81 am sure to be elected, so one and all
great and small, short and tall, when yo1
come down to jackson after the election
stop at the auditors offce-the latch strin
always hangs out-enter without knocking
take off your things and make yourself a
home"
The DOWNFALL OF MANA fellow who wa
picked up by a street Waterman last nigh
melted the soft-hearted officer by the followin
poetic plea:
Leaves have their time to fall,
And so likewise have /;
The reason Thoughts the same-it
Comes of our getting dry.
But Rsre;s the dif'r % 'twint leaves ar
l falls more harder" and moro fr
quentlee."
| This same fellow is seen every day falli1
"frequentlee," and if he has any friends, h
motto seems to be " spare me for Them" f
he and they seldom meet.
The HEIGHT OF IMPUDENCE.-Some tin
ago a fellow was charged in the Glasgow p
lice court with stealing a herring barrel
After the charge had been proven, the pri
cipal accuser addressed the magistrate.
a Deed, Sir Bailie, the man at the bar is
r great rogue. The stealing of the barrel
8 nothing to some of his tricks. He stole n
Q sign-board last week, and what does 70
n honor suppose he did wit? ?" Magistrate
That would be hard for me to say" eve
I'll tell ye. lie brought it to my shop '
my name ont, and offered to sell met, a.
s he said he thought it would be mair use
g me than to anybody else"
Fanny Fern thinks it provoking for a "
9 man who has been working all day mendi
g her husbands old coat, to find a love let
k from another woman in the pocket.