Marshall County Democrat. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1855-1859, 1857-04-30


@What heavenly thing and what
earthly thing, does a rainy day exercise
the same influence upon? The sun and
your boots, for it takes the shine out of
both.
re- A Domestic DIANA" Henry,
dost thou love me, dearest?''
"Why askest thou, Helenora?"
" Not that l fear thy answer, dearest
Henry. but because l love to hear thee
speak-say dearest Henry, dost thou love
me?"
ASK the stars if they love to twinkle,
or the flowers if they love to smell, or the
rose to bloom. Love you'll Ay as the
birds to MARBLE, or the breeze to watt its
balmy influence: why asketh thou me,
flannel of my heart"
Because my soul is gr:eved care has
o'ercast the joy which once spread sun
shine DER thy face; anguish sits upon thy
brow, and yet your Helenora knoweth not
the cause. Tell me, my aching heart,
has mutton riz?''
''No.. my Helonora-thank the gods!--
No! but my credits fell Cleavsr, from
this day forth, sells meat for cash.
Helenora faints, screeches, and falls
into her husbands arms, who, in the an
guish of the moment, seizes aknife and
stabs himself-over the left.
IS- The driver vino hitched his horse
to "a post of honor, found it didn't hold
che animal very well.
re- There is no place like home, un
less it is the home of the girl you are af-
ter.
G "A dancing master enjoys an advan-
tage over most persons--he is never at a
loss what steps to take
Es- The man who attempted to look
into the future, had he door elammed in
his face
GS-We find the following advertise
ment in an exchange: 1.-TWO sisters want
washing"
We hope they may get it.
@ Why is the price of -four so high?
Because it is SO much kneaded.
@ The lady who took everybody's
eyes must have lots of them.
@ The ladies' say they are opposed to
stopping the males on the Sabbath, especi-
ally in the evening, unless they stop at
their houses.
Eg The individual who couldn't trust
his feelings, is supposed to do business for
ready money only,
E@ The man who was Struck by
remark had his skull fractured and talks
of bringing an action for assault.
Ess- \ lady enquired, the other day, of
sailor, why ship was always called she?
Because replied the sailor, the rig
ging costs more than the hull
Lg- The fellow who chopped off his
hand the other day while cutting wood,
sent to drug store for remedy to cure
chopped hands.
w Friend, it is very wrong to swear
as you do. Why do you do it?'
Because replied the prisoner, Eve
understood that man may swear out of
Jail in thirty DAYS, and l want to see if it
can be done in fiji cen. am going to sit up
all night and do my best
@Why is woman, dressed up in
mans clothes very avaricious? Because
she is woman after all.
Ev They had a tremendous storm in
Milwaukee the other day. The wind blew
the horns off the oxen, and turned four
bulls wrong side out. 1t is thought to have
been tho hardest gale ever experienced
in that region
EIf feller has nothing when he gest
married, and the girl has nothing, is her
things hizzin or his things hern?' We
maintain the negative.
Eg The proverb 1.-The longer man
lives the more he'll see," can't alude to
money nova days.
Ey- The other evening gentleman OBJ
jeeted to playing cards with lady, be-
cause, he said, she had such a winning
way about her.
The Louisville Journal says: The South
ern Democrat wishes to know what maks
us so smart If we are smart it must be
for the same reason that he is SO stupid
can't hslp Il.