M'arthur Democrat. (McArthur, Vinton County, Ohio) 1853-1865, 1857-11-05
MlisttlIantous Artitlts.
A Woman with the Odd Fell
lows.

Mrs. X. should be employed to do the
/ job.
After the meeting adjourned, the
guardian, who knew the inquisitiVe
character of Mrs. K, procured q billy
goat, and placed it in a closet that was
kept as a reservoir for secret things
He then informed the lady OF the
wishes ofthe Lodge, and requested
her to come early next morning, as he
then would be at leisure to show her
what was and what was not to be
done. Morning came and with it
Madam K, with her broom, pals,
tubs, &C., prepared and armed for the
! job, and found the guardian waiting
tor her.
"Now, madam" said he, "Ill tell
you what we want done, and how we
came to employ you. The brothers
said it was difficult to get anybody
to 90 the job, and not be meddling
with the secrets in that little Closet
we have lost the key and cannot find
it to lock the door. | assured them
that you could be depended on"
depended onl" said she. 81
guess lean. My poor dead and gone
husband, who belonged to the Free
Masons, or Anti Masons, | don't know
which, used to tell me all the secrets
Of the concern, and when he showed
all the marks the gridiron had made
when he was initiated, and told me
how they fixed poor Morgan, Inever
told a living soul to this day. II no.
body troubles your closet till | do,
they'll lay there till they rot--they
will"
II thought So" said the guardian,
"and now want you to commence at
the corner and give the whole room a
decent cleaning and | haVed pledged
my word and honor for your fidelity
to your promise; now don't 60 into
that closet; )" and then left the lady
to herself.
No sooner had she heard the sound
ofhis foot upon the last steps OF the
stairs than she exclaimed, "Don't 60
into the closetl-Pll warrant there is q
gridiron, or some such nonsense, just
like the Anti -Masons for all the world,
she stepped lightly to the forbidden
closet-turned the button-which was
no sooner done, than bah! went the
billy.goat, with spring to regain his
liberty, which came near upsetting her
ladyship. Both started to the door
but it was filled with implements for
house cleaning, and all we're swept to
the bottom Of the stairs.
The noise and confusion occasioned
by such unceremonious getting down
stairs, drew half the town to witness
Mrs. KS efforts to get from uuder
the pile of pals, tubs, brooms, and
brushes into the street.
Who should be the first on the
spot but the rascally door-keeper, who,
after releasing the goat, which was a
cripple for life, and uplifting the rub
bish that bound the good woman to
the earth, anxiously inquired if she
had been taking the degrees.
"Taking the degrees!" exclaimed
the lady; "ifyou call tumbling from
the top to the bottom ofthe stairs, with
the devil after you, taking things by
degrees, l have them; and if you trigh,
ten folks as you have me, and hurt
them too boot, I'll warrant they'll
make as much noise as | did,"
81 hope you did not open the
closet, madam" said the doorkeep'
or.
"Open the closetl Eve ate the ap
pies she was forbidden! Ifyou want
woman to do anything, tell her not tt
do it, and she'll do it certain. lcoulc
not stand the temptation. The secre
was there. l wanted to know it.
opened the door, and out popped tn
tarnal critter right into my face.
thought that the devil had me, and
broke for the stairs, with the devi
butting me at every jump fell owe
the tub and got down stairs, as yo1
found me, in a heap"
"But, madam" said the doorkeep
er, you are in possession of the grea
secret ofthe Order, and you must g
lp and be initiated, sworn, and go in
the regular way"
"Regular wayl" exclaimed the la
!, dy, "and do you suppose Pm goinI
near the tarnal place again and rid
that ar critter without a bride or la
dy's saddle2 No, never. | don
want nothing to do with that man tina
rides it. I'd look nice perched on
billy-goat, wouldn't. No, never, II
never 90 nigh it again, nor your hall
nuther-if / can prevent it no lad.
shall ever join the Odd Fellows
Why, I'd sooner be aFree Mason, ant
be broiled on grid-iron as long as FIR
could be kept under it, and pullet
from garret to cellar with halter, il