Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, Va. [W. Va.]) 1852-1859, 1857-12-31
Letter from the Di,banAed Yolunteer.
SAINT N1ckA1As HorrELI, Dec. 90, 1857.

Letter from she Di.banAed Volunteer.
SAINT N1cKAnAs HorTELL, Dec. 90, 1857.
Eadlturs of the Sunday Times.
Wal, the old years embers of life is purity
NEAR burnt out. Mex Thursday midnite the
yungione will rise out the old un's ashes like an
insendiary fonix, and crow. We've seen sum
kweerdidos sense the fust of last january, hev-
ent we? The kuntry started from that pint
with lyin kullers, and under a full he'd of steem.
That's ben the wuSt on it-too mulch steem, too
mulch steem. Loonacy trimmed the fires,
Speckylashin sot on the safety valve, Extravy-
gance steered, and Blind Foley tuck the obser-
washins, and so the good ship United States was
run on Panic shoals and bust her biler, given
the hull crew one of the all-loftyist hysts ever
heerd on in the ANIMALS of histry. Sum on EN-
has cum dow on thar feet, uthers has got an
extenshin on thar backs, menny is smashed all
to peaces, and a few was blode SO everlastin
high that thar places of abode slipt from onder
em in. the airth's reyolushln, and Whar they lifted
is entirely unknown to thar creditors and other
ankshus friends, who feels the more sympathy
for EN- as they was known to hey considabul
mummy about EN- when the kullaps ockurd.
We had u glurus harvist, but sense then evry-
ching hes gon agcn the grain. Thars a normus
amount of cash in the kuntry, more'n ever was
in thememry of man, an yet nobody has emmy.
AperientIy it must hev sunk inter the bowels of
the airth whar it cum from. Not bein afinan-
sheer, / kant ackount for its s1ddent and mis-
terus vamose in no luther way.
But rcckin the nashin's safe, and long may
it wave! We may pay our New Years visits
without emmy fear that Manhattan Hand will be
placed in the hands of ~assyknees and sold out
under the unsolvent act. To be shure we're
over he'd and ears in an oshin of debt, but then
we ken dive deeper inter that kinder element,
and cum up dryer, than airy nuther popylashin
on this %futstool. The oney drorback to the
pleshur of maxim New Year'S-calls this year, is
| tl,Ok ,,,,,r boEn IF nc otun MUMMY tn MIR. naorHack
and dearest friends, witch make etin thar boncd
turkeys and swillin thar shampain rayther en-
barraSSin. But the nooSepapers say that nuthln
contribits so mulch to create a general panic as
want of konfidcnse; so | suppose to call and
lunch and Ticker with a PERSONS fammaly after
lcttin him in for a few thousands, may be kun
sidered a noble %sackryfice of privit feelin for the
publick intrist. When the gratest good of the
gratcst number depends OH kontidense, evry
friend of his kuntry ought in course to be a
konfdense man.
1 shall take my ushil round amung my ac-
kwaintances, and l hev no dout the fare will re-
cevc me with smiles. From what | ken heer,
the young men about town will make thar Gus.
tommerry New Years cxcurshins in sairtch of
cold vittles. Sum will go in flocks, like ~lOcuSSes;
uthers will forridge singly, like Californy bars.
Menny of our high boys, as is abuv actin like
gentlemen, will probly intIood inter the prsenc
of the ladies three sheets in the wind and on
able to navigate, The best way to rite setch
kinder Staggerin craft is to put n propeller in
thar starns, and send en- hyin to the end of the
passidge. AFTER that, opin the trunt door, and
they'll sail out nifty slick. Anuther way is to
AK EN- out to look at the gardin or conservatory,
eff thar happens to be wun, and then get the
gardener to play the engine used for drownin
out the insects and grubs rite inter the back Of
thar mex. The propeller plan ansers best. how
sever, and gives but little trubblc eff the %servnt's
legs is muskilar, his boots thick, and his aim
true.
Ell mought be aloud to volunteer my advice
to the KweenS of the Day, [ should say, softer
no spcrrits nor wine-nuthin but coffee The
Imam that tliirsts for ennything more e8ileratin
and cxcitin than the fire of buty's eyes on the
first of January, is a Sallynander, and oughter
live in a distillery %furniss, and suck blaEln alky-
hol throo a stove pipe. Coffee and britc eyes is
all-sufishint; brite eyes and punch is q lnixter
too inaamnlytory for the human constitooshin.
Mcbbee, in a subsekwent letter, | shall Civ
YOU sum ackount of the dooins of the day, and
mebbee not. Last year | was so confused and
diStracktid by the Unlimited kwantitteS of female
LONELINESS | seen in my travis, that when l
reeched my rum il the Saint Nickalas, | was
neerly in a Speachlcss condishin; and neX NOR
min when | woke, | was Settin without my shirt
on the side of the bed with my legs thrust inter
the sleeves Of my overcote, while my new hat,
hafe full ofsopc and water, showed piancly that
| he'd washed my hands in it the mite afore.-
Scch is the cffck Of an overdose of femmyninc
charms on q ~scnsitiv temperament. Hopin to
keep cooler next Friday, | remain, at the eend
of the wear, as at the bcginnin,
Yours, allus, a DIsBANDED VOLUNTEER.