Wilmington journal. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1844-1895, 1857-11-27
Hughey Mcmahon and the Dead Constable,

Hughey McNIahos, and the Dead Constable,
Hughey broth of boy" well known as one
who, whenever there was scrimmage or g wake ,
about, to be there and take hand, invited
not.
There were but three things in life which Hughey
considered it worth living or-his dudeen. his poteen
and an iligant fight. And in the latter it made nc
difference what was the odds against him. he'd 80 IL
! TO win
1t that Hughey got the handling of the ribbons
OF furniture car, the Of which, knowing that
Hughey didn't care any more about the yellow fever
than he cared for half pint Of buttermk succeeded in
securing his valuable services ION share in carrying out
his contract with the Howard Association OF taking
the dead at dollar head from their hospital in the
third district to the burying ground
/ About the period of the Black Day. the 10th O
August when many poor fellow was sent to bis grave
before life fairly extinct, Hughcy had got four "box
es IN his car, lone Of which contained the body of
constable who died holding warrant against him. and
terry with crack of his whip and another "wee sup
at the mineral bottle of mountain dew that always
accompanied him. He jumped to the ground. But /
think it better that the reader should take the story
Hughey told it to me:
We'll, now, you see, Squire, (Hughey always insisted
upon calling me the Squire) just jumped down, and
as all the folks was in the back part of the burying
ground thinks1 to myself I'll just take them oud sodg-
cs out of me Car before take another whostoe at the
! bottle.
!
q knocking somewhere. an jst looks behind me- to
sec who it that a rapscalling on the fence in
that way; but nobody did see. thin looks up, an
thin looks down. first this way, thin that way, but
div the person did but ould Bob in the shafths.
We'll, thin goes to the box and commences pulling
it out again. whn, what should hear but the knockn
again. Bedad, it made the bile rise and ktches up
me whip, an goes up un' looks the auld thate Bob
right IN the face an says says /, will you be quiet
yeaze ye auld numbering turf eater, yeazc An wild
that Al.
handle. Thin l goes an takes the coffin out an it
hardly touches the ground when rap rap, rap, it goes
agane.
springs back, an looks down, an shure enough. il
was inside the coffin the noise came from.
"Whist," says !, Who's there?" saws l.
And thin l hears some say in q mighty wake
voice
"Ah, let me out. .'
Lay still you're dead - says l, little onasuy
"Juft then sees the sexton coming up, but rap rap
rap, again goes the box.
g Be asy now, you dhirty, old schwndling rogue,
says l. The boses coming, and if he's man thrue to
bis business he'll settle you
Il thought I'd spake to the poor, gone crather-but
where's the Of swate words baste without razen
Jst at the moment ould Jake comes up, and rap rap
rap, goes the box agn.
BE quiet, now, won't yez, yc old rip? Have yc ne
manners" says l. An I gives it q kick with I'M
heel.
GOOD morning, Misther Jacob says |. Here
me surthivecats for these four corpses, says ], An
makes long bow so to a kinder keep him ut dis
lance, you know.
Rap rap, rap wint the box,
/ f W hats that 2" says he.
It's that oud CarrOn bast in the shafts there say
and III ist grind every bone in his body into smith
ers for disturbing your peace this morning Mister ia
cobs,' says /.
"Wid that, shuves the surthvecates in his hands
jirks up my whip, and starts for old raw-bones.
Rap, rap, rap, wint the box once more
" With that, the sexton looks hard at me-
u " Conc back, says he. The reps is not i'll YOU
} horse, but in that coffin says he.
+ I'm in for it." says to myself, and orc load
gone
$50 comes back and houlds INC ear down to the cof
fin Trap rap. rap win the constable right in my ear)
Sure enough, Mr.. Jacobs, its in the box SAYS l.
May the Holy Virgin take lkenning unto u.s. suvs
as crossed meself like dacent Catholic"
An wild that | makes spring for me car
No you don't says he, You'll iist take tha
back wild ye," says he.
vivid that, some of his mud torripins comes up
and wild their shovels breaks open the box,
The mint they takes off the kivvar, the ould slime
inside rises right up, and shakes his fist at me- Oh
bloodanouns wasn't mad jist goes to me car an
gifts me bottle and schwaers every blessed dhrop in it
Then, says L:
"Pay me one dollar now, for making vour funeral
ye dhirty old backguard ye.'
!. I'm not dead yet" says he
"Houlay Mother of Moses, iist listen how that out
no, certainly not" says l. - s'pose," says l. yol
knows beher than the docthrs does av coorse does
av coorse. But if yere not dead yell please pay m
me dollar for making your funeral before YOU start
says I.
Wild that he sphrings out of the box, and before
could take me ground, he hits me q whack under tn
ear, and takes me into cutody on his ould warrant