American union. [volume] (Morgantown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1855-1859, 1857-07-24
pnG lglBRlGAM UNION
MORGANTOWN, JULY "a, 1851.
An Ugly Club in this Place.

While it is a we'll known fact both
at home and abroad that we have the
prettiest girls in the world in our
village and neighborhood, it is also
as well known that we have the ugli-
est men.
We took little walk this forenoon,
and on every side we met the ugly
evidences of the fact. Red headed
men, squint eyed men, cross eyed
men, warpcd-noSed men, stoop Shout
dered men, knock knecd men, bow
legged men, fiat footed men, SEEM
ed to be in every direction. Oc-
casionally we saw fellows in whom
all, or nearly all, of these points
conferred. And each fellow was dress
ed in most unbecoming style-tall
men in short coats-short men in
tall coats-stout men in narrow coats
narrow men III stout coats-small
men cncased III voluminous panta-
loons-largc men in tight, increased
and uucreaSablc pantaloons--high
men in flat hats-low men in high
hats-broad faced men with side
whiskers-narrow faced fellows with
chinncrs dangling down like tasscls
We saw fellows who looked for all
the world as if they had been dug up
for post mortem examination; and
then again, men who looked as if
they fed like anacondas, fellows who
appeared strong enough to swallow
fifteen or twenty pounds in n lump,
without one dyspeptic eructation
afterwards. We never saw sNch alb
solute and universal ugliness. King
wood is hard to beat in that line, but
it's nothing to this place Fairmont
is crceedjagy great, but it sinks into
nothing i'll comparison with this.
Fctterman is hard to beat because
SCRoGGINs is there, but it cant COM
pete with this. A handsome man is
aprodigy here, and our private opin-
ion is that if u being Of that order
were to make his appearance in our
midst, the pretty girls hcrcabouts
would be in a most uncommon furry;
there would be great shaking and
layin %togcthcr Of heads on the part
of the old folks, and desperate pulling
Of caps on the part Of the young ones,
especially if the prodigy should be
rich and talentcd-or merely rich
without being taiented--or talented
without being rich. The young iel-
low would have to knucllle in a very
short time or he would have no peace.
We recommend the institution of
an Ugly Club, and we beg all those
who favor the scheme to meet Gun
kcmpt, unwashcd," and ugly as
possible, at the Court House on Satur-
day morning next for the purpose.
SCroggins will no doubt be elected
G. S. (Grand Scarecrow) We expect
to be elected Secretary, but not with
out strong, and it may be cllcctual
opposition. Our ncighbor no doubt
will enter the list, and if he does, oar
chance for the honor is desperate.
0Syp The above article is from the
MOrgantown " STAR" of yesterday
We were somewhat puzzled at first to
satisfy ourselves what could have in
duced the usually reserved editor of the
Star to propose organizing an ugly
Nub,' supposing, from his assurance in
mingIing with good-looking people,
that he was in blissful ignorance of his
eligibility for first honors in an associ-
ton of this character But, "Ntsery
1o0cs cOn1pany,' and we suppose our
neighbor wants an association where he
may retire from the turmoils Of active
life, and feel to stand on a more perfect
equality than he could in any "mixod
assembly "-hence his solicitude for an
"Ugly Club at this place." Well, he
has right to cultivate the social prin-
ciplc, and if he can succeed let him
get up the Club.
As to the candidacy for the Secrcta-
ryship, we respectfully decline to run,
believing that our neighbor of the Star
has the advantage of us in eligible ply
Biological devclopement, as well as is
deserving Of the very first honors for
projecting the enterprise; and more
especially as he is solf-announced for
the station. We knock under to the
claims Of the Star editor. "Honor
50 whom honor is due :"
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