Cooper's Clarksburg register. [volume] (Clarksburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1851-1861, 1857-06-26
SUIT LovECooD,s SHIRT.
ny s--L, OF rrNN.


crossing the Hiwasse) weaving along"
in his usual rambling, uncertain gate. his
appearance at once satisfied me that
something was wrong. de had been sick
whipped in a fight or was just out. grow
ing one of his big drunks. But upon this
point was soon enlightened.
why. Sut. what's wrong now p
Heaps wrong: durn my skin eff l
haint most ded. Lite off on that ar hoss.
George. an take a horn. while 1 take
two, Shaking that everlasting flask at
me, an plant yourself on that ar log. an
an I'll tell you eff l ken, but it's most be.
yont tellen. l reckon I'm the darndest
fool Outen UIaw, scept my dad, for he
acted hoSs. and l haint done that yet-al-
lers in some trap that couldn't ketch a
sheep. Ill drown myself some of these
days; see ef don't. jest to tu stop fam,
lily disposition 10 make ID tools on
themselves"
How is it. Sut-have you been beat
playing cards, or drinkIng-which is it o.
Nary one: that can't be did in these
parts; but secin' its you. George. I'll tell
You; but swar I'm 'Shamed sick-sor-
ry, and-and- mad, | am.
You know l boards with Bill Carr.
in his cabin on the mountain. and pays
fur SIGH AS gifts when hev money, and
when l heven't eny, why he takes one
third NV it ou;en the in cusSin; and she,
that's his wife. Belts, takes out tother
two thirds with the bAtllin' stick, and the
intrust with her tongue, and the intrust's
more'n the principal-heap more. She's
the cussedest woman | ever seed eny
how fur jaw, breedin and pride. She can
scold blister onto bulls face, rite OF
the curl in two minits. She outbreeds
everything on the riVer-and patterns ar
ter every fashion she hears tell on. from
busels to britches. Oh she's one Of
'em. and sometimes she's two or three
Well. ye see, I'd got some home made
cotton truck, to make a new shut outcn,
and cOaxed Bett tu make it, and about
the time it wur dun, here come Lawyer
johnson along and axed for brekfus-I
wish it had pizened him. durn his hide,
and wonder it didn't, for she cooks aw-
full mixins when she tries. I'm pizen
proof myself. (holding up his flask and
PeePiug through it, ur I'd been ded long
ago. 70
well while he wur eatin', she spied
out that his shut was stiff. an mighty
stick; so she never rested till she wormed
it outen him that a -four preparation did
it, and she got q few perticulers about the
proceedings tu, outen him by 'oman's art
i don't know how she did it, perhaps
HE does. Arter he left, she sot in aud
billed big pot oV paste. nigh unto peck
oV it, and soused in my shut, an let it
soak awhile; then she tuck it and roned
it out fiat and dry. and set it upon
its edge again the cabin in the sun. Thar
it stood as stiff as a dry hoss hide an
it ratified like sheet Of iron, it did. 1t
wur pasted together all over. When l
cum tn dinner, nuthin would du but l
must put it on. Well, Belts and me got
the thing open arter sum hard work, she
pullin' at one of the tails and me at tuth-
er. aud got into it. Durn the everlas-
lin new tangled shut. l say. I felt like
I'd crawled into an old bee gum and hit
full Of id ants but it wur like Lawy er
-Johnson's an stood itlike man, an went
tn work tn bild Belts an ash.hopper. l
worked powerful hard and sweat like a
hoss, an when the shut got wet it quit its
hurtin'. Arter got dun, tuck about
four fingers Of red he'd and crawled up
intu the cabin loft TO take a snuse.
"Well. when walked up l thos was
ded, or had the cholery, for all the iints
could move wur my ankles, wrists. and
kuees-couldn't even muve my he'd and
scarcely wink my eyes-the cussed shut
wur pasted fast unto me all over. from
the pint of the tails TO the pint of the
broad.ax collars over my years. 1t sot
me as close as poor COW does to her hide
in March. 1 squirmed and strained till l
got it sorter broke at the shoulders an ell
blows. an then dun The durndest fool
thing ever did in these mountains. I
shuff1ed my breeches off and and tore
loose from my hide about two inches of
the tail all round in much pain and tribu-
Iatlon. Oh but it did hurt. Then
tuck up plank outen the loft Nn hung my
legs down thru the hole and nailed the
edge OF the front tail to the edge owe the
floor before, and the hind tail | nailed to
the plank what sot on. unbuttoned
the collar aud the ristbands, raised my
hands way up above my head; shot up
my eyes, said grace aud jumped thru to
the groun floor.
Here Sut Eliminated sadly.
George. I'm durnder fool than ever
dad wus. Hoss. Hornets. an all. I'll
drown myself sum ov these days. see ef
well. ~ go on. sus did the sbir, cum
IL 1I---=tt,h-i,n-k-it did. /