Anti-slavery bugle. [volume] (New-Lisbon, Ohio) 1845-1861, 1857-10-10
THE FASHIONABLE PREACHER.

The fashionable preacher is a mortal always
aGored by his congregation, the female portion par
tjcularly. lie is a mortal, but is sometimes deem
ed an unwinged immortal and eclipsos the Divin-
" whom he breaches. lie prsys resoundingly,
Ito the Congregation and his amen" sounds like
tap Of a bass drum. He is meek, exceedingly SO
in the pulpit-he loves his hearers collectively,
and sometimes individually ; he hates sin and the
devil professionally. Discourses'eloquently of char
ity from a mahogany pulpit, but forgets his charity
for those who differ with him, Gives literally This
advice in his resonant sermons, but always has
his purse in his other pantaloons pocket when he
meets q meudicsnt.
Sends the gospel to the Bariobooho Cha, and
sends the heather at home to tho gutter. Perfumes
his sermons with sacred poetry, and perfumes his
white handkerchief with eau dc cologne. Speaks
yearningly of that other world but would doubtless
prefer staying where he is better acquainted. Calls
his congregation the sheep of his flock, and pulls
wool over their eyes while he shears Them.
Studies attitudes as he studies his sermons, and
lifts his arm with inimi,sble grace, to beseech the
divine grace Of heaven! Delivers from a three
story pulpit, whers he is elevated far above his
hearers, persuasive h8rangues upon moral propri.
ETY.. Acts as though sin could be drawn from man,
us that beautiful rich Eve was taken from Adam,
by throwing him into a gentle slumber or, as the
de ntis. extracts a tooth, by administering chloro-
formal discoUrses and most ETHEREAL sermons. OF
morality he talks in the aggregate, bu. he never
hNCCOhAo W pun blCOibIb IL OuC VI hs I
ton, by mortgaging his prop erty, swindles q friend
out Of a few thousand dollars, he never robukes
tho man as the prophet did David never mentions
it at all that i'd Q secular affair aud belongs to the
world.
Prsys to God not for wealth, which he wants not
neither for poverty, which he cannot bear, but
only for q competence, by which he means a three
story competence finished with brown stone. all
the modern COR veniences and q spacious basement.
Believes there is no gate to Heaven but through
his church, and calls other denominations 'sects'.
Sends his brethren upward upon. 'fowery beds of
ease" but whether or not Peter let's them pass the
pearly portals, we, being poor miserable sinners,
cannot tell,
If he breaches at night. always arrives after the
audience is seated and waiting sometimes If there
is a rush, he has to rise mysteriously through q
trap door in the pulpit, as many have seen Parsor
Beecher do this always produces . fine effect
so theatrical and striking. Before his entrance The
gas is turned down to a II moonlight meilowness, snd
a dim obscurity broods over the congregation
The organ is silent.
But the moment %arrires the popular preacher
enters;the gas blooms into q magnificent brilliancef
the ladies bend eagerly forward and a murmerout
expectancy pormestes the air: silks rustic and
feathers and fans wave the organ peals a grand
voluntary, and the minister, slowly mounting the
richly ~carpeted stairs, sinks into the silken pulpit
~cushions aud opens a hymn book.
as it the worship of God or man ~ sadly asks
my friend B., whom | had accompanied to the ex,
; Ihibition. ] do not know, l cannot answer him,
but think Of the poor Publican who stood afar of
! and smote upon his breast and cried "God be mer.
ciful to me u sinner.