Kenosha tribune & telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1856-1859, 1857-01-01
To Mary life's hottest emotion

would only repeat itself feebly.
All this came upon me suddenly; but
| could not shake it off. Icould not well
come as before the little creatures morn
ing kiss shrank from her instructive
ly when she climbed upon my knee al
nightfall, and laid her head upon my
shoulder as she had always done. be-
gan to think what if she should die OF
some Of those many disorders incident
to childhood, would Mary suffer much:
Would it not add new rapture to the
welcome ofmy child? And then there
would be no rival to share her love and
cares.
These thoughts did not come suddenly,
but by slow unresisted approaches.-
They changed my whole lite. became
moody, and fitful, irritated to degree
entirely foreign to my nature, when Ma
ry needed all my tenderness. She saw
it sorrowfully and patiently. If she
guessed the cause, she never uttered a
reproach; but noticed that Alice came
to us less frequently, and our hearts
first arrangement had commenced.
My boy was given to me in the peril
and anxiety Of that hour. | forgot all
but my precious accomplishing wife, and
that, if she were taken from me now, life
would be burden But even when
laid the child beside her for the
fir,t time, and saw the loving smile that
looked from the half-closed violet eyes
up into mine, the tempter returned.
One night, wearied with the restraints
of the nursery, little Alice begged me &c
row her out upon the stream that ran
sparkling and eddying at the back of the
lawn. She was dropping in her mother,
absence from her daily life, and Ihad seer
her sobbing more than once because thu
officious nurse denied her more than hel
, daily visit to the room, which Mary hao
not yet left. A sudden impulse moved
me to grant her request. The smse
: was ripping the waters when ! pulled
. past our garden, and fioated out of sight
1t was quite dark before | turned back
r for the child, was satisfied, and l wa
5 lost in the old bitterness Of spirit.
She had been lying quietly on cloal
in the bottom of the boat, unconcious o
the cruel specul ,tions of which she wa,
the innocent cause. She loved me Al
, ever, and presently crept up and leaned
] over my knee, dipping her hand in tn,
t warm, pleasant tide, and dropping he
4 curls over her face to see how nearly
t they touched the water. 1t was dan
4 gerous position, and instantly / stretch
. ed out my hand to guard her | drew
7 it back slowly. Would it be my faul
| if she leaned too far? Would not every
. one understand it as child's freak?-
, Even Mary would not dream of upbraid
| ing me; and then all would be at an end
: all the daily torture of the child's pres
= cnce, which would increase year by
year all the estrangement between hel
mother and myself.
On my child would be conferred all tn,
:, love that judiciously exacted for it.
The slightest movement on my part,
e tremulous dip os1he oar! saw, as in
r dash, the pale face and stitlened limb
a rise and float past me far down TIL
= stream; the choking bubbling cry ON m,
=. ears.
: had scarcely bent over the oar, we
: a beaded perspiration stood upon IN,
forehead. | hal consented unto he
: death"
With shudder and grasp, l un
+, closed my eyes to find that fancy onl,
had made this real l snatched tn,
child to my heart with vehemenc,
} that frightened her, and, for the frs
5 time in many weeks, kissed her lips
her hands, her forehead. 1t was il
+ thanksgiving for my own salvation.
AS | moored my boat to the landing
: and took Alice in my arms, l could see
through the shrubbery that lights wer,
moving rapidly about the house; all wa
in confusion as we approached it. Gu
physician met me inthe hall, Fastening t,
+ my wife's room with an underlined sick
:, ening apprehension. He had been ofn,
: avail. My child had been seized with
+ sudden CONFUSION and was already dead
Do you wonder that / mourn as on
i who refused to be cOmforted? that
e shut myself from all, even from my wife
:, The outlines of my heart, was stirreC
G almost to madness by her self-forgetfu
d tenderness. Her own loss seemed pu
l. aside to comfort me. 1t was only whel
n Alice came and stroked my haggar,
n face softly; and whispered, poor papa
let Alice love you, "that.I felt hermotheI
e knowing all my sin, might yet forgiv
l and love me, that Heaven would pardo
: the crime it had so justly and sternly re
|: buked.
d ] have never had another child. A
n ice is now my all. 1t was she who con
n forted me in the first great sorrow of N
l life; it is she who supported me in m
d great bereavement when years after he
" mother was taken from me. My ow
IS child never could have rendered m
h more devoted filial affection and obed
o ence. So slow are we to recognize til
ri blessings held out for our acceptance.