Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1857-01-17

her eve when she found that the sad face
gazing a, her through the doorway, was
no phantom of the imagination, but liv-
ing breathing reality. The house over
the way is now shut up, silent and lone
Iy, with only the. faded and rusty Grape
streaming from the shutters 10 show that
Death had been the last visitor there.
A San Francisco Auctioneer.
The reporter of the San Fancisco News
furnish that paper with the following re-
port OF a speech made by California auc-
tioneer:
Ladies and gentlemen, now have the
honor of putting up fine pocket hand.
kerchief, yard wide, yard long, and
almost yard thick one-half cotton 100 :;
beautifully printed with stars and stripes
on one side, and the sIri pes and STARS on
t'olher. Ii will wipe dust from The eyes
SO completely as 10 be death TO demago.
CUES, and make politics as bad business
as printing papers. lis great length,
breadth aud thickness, together with lis
dark color, will enable it TO hide dirt, anc
never need washing. Guing at one dol
lar twenty-five certs one bit! No.
body wants it ! Oh thank you, sir
Next, genlemen-for the ladies won't
be permitted to bid on this article is
real, simon pure, tempered, highly polish
ed, keen-edged Sheffield razor; bran
spankin new never opened before to
sunlight. moonlight, starlight. dayIight,oT
gas slight sharp enough to shave lawyer,
or cut disagreeable acquaintance or poor
relation handle Of burk-hOrn, with ali the
rivels but the two al the ends OF pure gold.
Who will give two dollars half dollar!
WHY ye long bearded, dirty faced repro
bates, with not room on your phlzzes ior
Chinese woman 10 kiss, I'm offering
you bargain al half dollar razor aud
strop recent patent; two rubs upon Ii
will sharpen HE city attorney all toI
four bits ; and piece of soap, sweeier
than roses, lalhers better than school
master, and strong enough TO wash all
The stains from California politicians
countenance, ali for four bits. Why. yon
have only to put the razor strop and soap
under your pillow at night and wake ur
in the morning clean shaved. Won't any
body give two bits, then, for the lot ]
knew would sell 'em.
Next, ladies and gentlemen, | offer
three pairs socks, hose, stockings. or hall
hoes, just as you're mine 10 call them,
knit by machine made on purpose. ou'
of cotton wool The man that buys
these will DE enabled TO walk ill he gels
tired, and, provided his boots are big
enough, needn't have any corns, the legs
are as long as bills against the corpora
lor, and as thick as the heads Of the
members Of the Legislature. Who wants
'em at one half dollar Thankee, mad
am, the money.
Next, | offer you pair Of boots, made
especially for San Francisco, with heels
long enough 10 raise man up TO the
Hoadley graces, and nails to insure against
being carried over by land slide legs
wide enough TO carry two revolvers and a
bowie knife, and the upper of the very
best horse leather. man IN these boots
can move about as easv as The State cap
itol. Who SAYS twenty dollars -! All the
tax payers ought TO buy pair TO kick the
council with everybody ought 10 have a
pair 10 kick the Legislature with, and
they will be found of assistance in kick
ing the bucket. especially if somebody
should kick at being kicked. Ten dollars
Tor legs, uppers and souls at that, are
bringing twenty thousand dollars in Sac.
ramento Ten dollars ten dollars
gone at ten dollars !
Next is something you ought to have,
gentIemen,a lot of good galIowses--some-
times called suspenders. | know that
some Of YOU will after while be furnish.
ed at the States expense, but you can't
tell which one, so buy when they're
cheap. All that deserve TO be hanged are
not supplied with gslIows; if so. there
would be nobody TO make laws, condemn
criminals, or hang culprts until new e.
lection. Made of pure gumelastic--stretch
like judges conscience and last as long
as California office-holder will steal
buckles of pure iron, and warranted to
hold SO tight that no mans wife can rob
him of the breeches are, in short, as
strong. as good, as perfect, as effectual,
and as bona 6de as the ordinance against
Chinese shops on Dupont stt@t--gOne al
twenty-five cents"
He Drinks.
How ominously that sentence falls
How we pause in conversation and ex-