davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
White Cloud Kansas chief. [volume] (White Cloud, Kan.) 1857-1872, 1857-07-16

A WORD TO MILKERs.-The sage of
the Plowman says: "The mixer should
be on good terms with the COW. If milk
ers scold and kick, the COW will, most
likely, return the latter; and, moreover,
she cannot kick to advantage when her
leg is in close conjunction with the milk
er; for space is required between the
agent and the object. The best mixers
are the quickest for there will be a flow
in less than a minute from the commence
ment of the process. Take advantage Of
this. and prevent its return. Milk dry
for the strippings are worth four times
as much for butter as the milk that is
( first drawn" This is good advice. A
lazy, scolding milker, win soon spoil a
good COW.
White Cloud Kansas chief. [volume] (White Cloud, Kan.) 1857-1872, 1857-07-16
a Model Letter.

Mister EprroRs VIII . Reuse me
If / pen UaG of 2 or lines to let U
no Pve LIST rate Ink & have found the
gal that fills my i. d U may depend she's
Xtra. l. more an all I've got married and
keen house 2. u no / sed wood tell o
All about my wife when got 1, q now
I'm going 2. Wall, surs, she's 2 ES-
some for me, that is, don't disRve her,
bnt bless my - I've got her. She's
not l of Or NJ L headed wimmin that R
2 often 2 B found, she's not 2 old nor 2
Young. she's Just Xxx. She's chok full
of finn but no van / t, full of n R G but
not 2 swift, plenty Of grit without n V.
Her IFS R bright but not 2 sharp, q, she's
moderately plump d not much 0 B q
T. U needn't think this 2 my wife is 2
Xtra, for / no you can't find her in this
8 of the country. Itdidn't take me long
70 mop the I? l dida't edge along by G
like some timid thing, but kun right to
The i? in less than q minute. Says evil
lib 2 me a loving wife ?" She sed,
ayes sir E." Then seq she, will = b
melOB Dent hug" d SEE /, 'Yeth'm'
20 we became l. Only l thing has
hapened 2 disturb us since we were--
2gether. There is an ugly old maid
keeps house in the same building d she's
hateful enuff. This is very Expensive
Mace 2 live in. wood is high, so we burn
cole. we'll we Miss-trusted this old maid
would pilfer all she could get her re- on.
wal, nny wife, g no / told G, was some
grit: wal, / day she was in the old maid
mar & there it was she seen her FIRE, d
sbe went rite up Q her L seq she ''there's
our your fire. tell you she looked 1T
ont Of her 2 IFS. If . had been there U
would thot so 9, for it was gal affair."
Tneyer Q my wife SO spunky afOre, she
lid en-. a--and no mistake. my wIfe's
SO Il the old maid looked.Tather
but we agreed If she'd pay % cost, We
would bring the matter 2 full.
White Cloud Kansas chief. [volume] (White Cloud, Kan.) 1857-1872, 1857-07-16

SURLY SESTrNENrs.-By a Professet
Old Grumbler-No woman drinks bee
of her own accord-she is always "'or
dered" to drink it
Experience is pocket-compass that {
fool never thinks Of consulting until he
has lost his way.
An ugly baby is an impossibility.
When a man has the headache, AM
says ''it's the salmon" ''you may safely
conclude that he has been drinking lik
a fish"
The moment friendship becomes a tax
it's singular, at every fresh call it makes
how very few persons it finds at home
Punch.
White Cloud Kansas chief. [volume] (White Cloud, Kan.) 1857-1872, 1857-07-16

Has ThE EARTH A RISG THE vener-
able Humboldt, from observations recent
" made respecting the zodiaral light.
draws the conclusion that the earth is
surrounded with a nebu,ous ring, lyisg
within the orbit of the moonl This
startling conclusion is drawn from the
fact that the zodiacal light has been seen
simultaneously at both east and west no.
rizons. 1t is rather odd. if we have been
for ages playing the part of smaller
Saturn among our brother and sister
planets, without knowing it
White Cloud Kansas chief. [volume] (White Cloud, Kan.) 1857-1872, 1857-07-16
The Dutch WidOwsr

''Mine frow vos no better as she ort to
be till shust before she diet; then she vas
so got as before" remarked Mr.. Wander
hoard to his neighbor.
"Your wife was an amisble woman,
and you do great injustice 10 her menu
ory," said Mr.. Plnggins.
"Vell, vat you know so much about
mine frow ?"
81 was not intimately acquainted with
her, but / am sure that all her acquaint-
ances loved her."
"Vot right had dey to love her p
Maybe"
'Maybe what 90
"Maybe you love mine frow, too"
"Why do you speak so strangely ?"
Ivy. Won day pig man shust like
you came into our hou e, and kissed
mine frow right before her face"
"Were you present at the time -
ITO be sure Ivos."
"Well. what did you do ?"
81 kicked him right pehind his pack. -
"Did he resent it 90
"Yaw, he broke me an te looking.
glass, and all de rest of de crockery
in tie house, 'cept the fodder ped, into
smash %
"What did you do then ?"
"Den cried murter murter nurter
and called for de shudge, and de shury.
and to de police Office. and de constable
to come; and he rund away 90
"Do you intend to charge me with
taking such understandable liberties with
the companion Of your bosom ,"
''AIe no sharge nothing for i. now, pc
cause she be tead and perried."
al will not allow you to make such
insinuations. You are an old tyrant,
and everybody said you was glad yOul
wife died"
Everybody pc one tam liar"
81 saw no symptoms of sorrow"
felt more worsht tan if my best COW
had tied"
"Your cowl What comparison p'
s'She vos great loss--a heavy loss
for she was pig as dat (spreading on
his arm, and she weighed more tan two
hundred pounds"
"Look out, old man, or you VIII Sc;
trouble-I doubt if your wife was evel
kissed by any man after her marriage
At all events you must apologize FOL
what you have said of me-"
"vot is pologize ?"
"You must beg my pardon and say
you are sorry; if you do not will enter
complaint against you, and have yor
arrested
II pc SORRY, den."
"Sorry for what ?''
"Sorriy you kissed mine frow."
"You incorrigibls idiot That is no
what you must say, for never did such
thing in my life"
''Mnst / say / pc sorriy that you nevel
do such thing 90
'tNo-you must take back what yoV
have said"
While the Dutchman was in this di
lemma, his friend Hans Hamburge
came along. and finally succeeded in re
conciling the parties. when the trio ad
iourned to a neighboring coffee house.
White Cloud Kansas chief. [volume] (White Cloud, Kan.) 1857-1872, 1857-07-16

Cure FOR BoTs IN -HoRsEs.-Drcw' s
Rural Intelligencer says: can intelli-
gent gentleman of our acquaintance, who
has for years been largely concerned in
the management of horses, called at the
Rural office, few weeks ago, to say
that he knew, by experience, of remedy
for bots in horses, which is sure to expel
them from any one of the race afflicted
with those dangerous insects. The medi-
cine is nothing more nor less than COM
mon fsh-pickle-that from mackerel is,
perhaps, the best. One common junk
bottle full will generally dislodge the
''varmints;;" sometimes second one may
be necessary. To use his own words,
This is a perfect cure--no mistake y
Some persons mistake the bellyache fol
bots"
White Cloud Kansas chief. [volume] (White Cloud, Kan.) 1857-1872, 1857-07-16

EGGS FOR HATcHISG.-It is not GER
tainly known how long the vitality of eggs
will last. We have had those of healthy
Young hens Matched that were twenty
eight days old before they were set. But
the chickens were feeble, and they all died
before they were three months old. There
is reason to conclude that an egg remains
pretty nearly perfect for two weeks after
it is laid. if it be properly kept, and that
after that time it depreciates rapidly, I'M
less put under hen. 1t is, therefore,
best to set the freshest eggs You can get.
All the talk about dark-colored eggs pro-
ducing dark-colored chickens, long eggs
producing male. birds. and roundish eggs
female birds, is all innocent little non
sense, which makers OF poultry books
ought TO he ashamed of. 1t will. perhaps,
be found that, as General rule, black
hens lay the whitest eggs-look at the
Spanish, for instance--and that hen
nearly always lays the same shaped eggs,
one day with another There is. how
ever, no Interchangeable rule about it
We have perfectly black game hen,
which for two years after she began to lay,
produced a round, glossy, white egg, but
now lays large, long, yellowish egg,
without any gloss.
White Cloud Kansas chief. [volume] (White Cloud, Kan.) 1857-1872, 1857-07-16
A RoMAN's EprrAPH.-Some workmen,

A RoMAN's EPTTAPH.-Some workmen,
in making an excavation at Constantine.
in Algeria, short time back, came to an
ancient tomb, which turned ont to be that
Of Roman citizen. 1t Offered no pesu-
liaritv in construction hut the insrrip-
ton. which is in we]l-wrIien hexameters
and pentammeters. appears so curious,
that translation Of it seems work. Civ
ing. 1t runs ihus Il Prorilius, whose
remains repase here, state the exact truth
in these verses. l have spent life with
ont annoyance, exercising the calling Of
a silversmith, IL my house at Cista. i
have always been of the strictest T,robity.
and of the most complete frankness to-
wards every man. have nothing what
ever to complain of. for was always
gay and always happy, until the death of
nv chaste Valcria. | have celebrated
with honor and prosperity one hundred
anniversaries Of my birthday; and, at
last, my final day arrived. when my en-
feeblei frame rendered it welcome. The
lines which Won are reading / COM
posed myself during my lifetime, being
permitted so to do by the kind goddess
Fortune, who never forsook me. Follow
the path which / have taken; / await
you here below come %
White Cloud Kansas chief. [volume] (White Cloud, Kan.) 1857-1872, 1857-07-16

BIRTH OF NAPoLEoN.-A singular fact
has been recently developed in Paris.
The parish register in that city, recording
the marriage Of Napoleon with Josephine,
states Napoleon's actual birthday not as
August Is, 1863, as reported by himself,
and given in all his biographies, but a
February 5, 176s. The ster of the
marriage, signed by Napoleon and Jose
phine. is attested also by Joseph Bona
parte, and several other members of th'
family. 1t would seem that when Napo,
leon found himself on the way to power
he did not wish to have it alleged agains
him, that he was not a Frenchman by
birth. He dropped letter in his Italian
name, becoming BOnaparte instead o
Buonaparte, and declared himself borr
in August, 1859. instead of February
176S, because between those dates, Cor
sica had been annexed to France. Thu
latter date, therefore, made him a French
man.
White Cloud Kansas chief. [volume] (White Cloud, Kan.) 1857-1872, 1857-07-16

FooD FOR Cows.-Dairymen state that
on an average, and the season through,
the cream from fourteen quarts of milk is
required to make pound of butter. One
who feeds pumpkins to his dairy cows
claims that, with this food, nine quarts
Of milk yield pound OF butter. Far
mers and dairymen who have tried pump
kin feed state that there is invariably a
large increase in butter and cheese. As
pumpkins can be raised at small expense,
there is no reason why they should not
become a profitable article of food for
COWS.
White Cloud Kansas chief. [volume] (White Cloud, Kan.) 1857-1872, 1857-07-16

ARE YoUR PAsrUREs PRovIpED WITH
SHADE-TREEs?-If they are. well and
good; if not, open the way to strip Of
woods, that your stock may have the
shade when they wish; and then plant in
suitable places in the pasture some of the
harder trees, which should. of course, be
well protected till they grow out of the
reach of the cattle. Locusts, oaks, elms,
and various other trees may be planted
thus with profit. The advantages oil
shade to large stock will be very great.
Prairie Former
White Cloud Kansas chief. [volume] (White Cloud, Kan.) 1857-1872, 1857-07-16

FouNDER.-A writer IN the Country
Gentleman, gives the following receipt
which is represented as sure and speedy.
take a table spoonful Of pulverIzed
alum, pull The horses tongue out of his
mouth as far as possible. and throw the
alum down his throat. let go Of his tongue,
and hold up his head till he swallows it.
In six hours time (no matter how bad
the founder. he viii be fit for moderate
service"
White Cloud Kansas chief. [volume] (White Cloud, Kan.) 1857-1872, 1857-07-16

The Buffalo Advertiser happily desert
hes the present homogeneous weather as
follows: One of our neighbors overheard
the following conversation between two
jolly sons of the Green Isle. day or two
since. which has APPOINT to it:
II say, Jimmy. did We ever see such a
summer as this same ?"
Faith an l have"
"Wen?"
"Last winter, be iabers."
White Cloud Kansas chief. [volume] (White Cloud, Kan.) 1857-1872, 1857-07-16

"RARIFIED MES. The closing para
graph of an article from the pen Of Henry
Ward Beceher, is as follows: Alas thai
we should have so MANY rari6ed men
among us. who are so holy that they can
not quite touch the ground. and yet are
not ETHEREAL enough to rise entirely up,
anil therefore hang in an unpleasant os-
cillation between earth aud heaven, qniie
uncertain in their own minds to which
their duties belong.
White Cloud Kansas chief. [volume] (White Cloud, Kan.) 1857-1872, 1857-07-16

Mahomet. though uninspired and a
heather, seems to have taught some gool
precepts. The following are few Of
them
THE choicest pleasures of life lie with
in the range of moderation.
Tattlers and hypocrites are twins. and
the offspring of the devil.
Speak not rather than speak i'll.
Quick to forgive and slow to anger
The sweetest pleasures are soon gone
Guilt is best discovered By its OWL
fesrs.
Patience is the key of content"
White Cloud Kansas chief. [volume] (White Cloud, Kan.) 1857-1872, 1857-07-16

FACTS ABOUT MnK.-Cream cannot
rise through a great depth Of milk. If.
therefore, milk is desired to retain its
cream for time. it should be put into a
deep. narrow dish; and if it be desired to
free it most completely of cream. it
should be poured into broad, fiat dish,
not much exceeding one inch in depth
The evolution of cream is facilitated by a
rise, and retarded by depression of tenn
perature. At the usual temperature o.
the dairy-50 deg. of Fahrenheit-a cream
will probably rise in SO hours but AT
20 deg. it will perhaps rise in half that
White Cloud Kansas chief. [volume] (White Cloud, Kan.) 1857-1872, 1857-07-16

CuRE FOR FELoxs.-The Scientific
American says. the past year we have
known the spinal marrow Of an OK or
COW applied by three different persons.
with the most satisfactory results. in re-
lieving the pain. and securing speedy
cures Of their felons This, we are con-
fident. win be ve;y useful Information
to many persons. The spinal marrow
should be applied fresh every four hours,
for two DAYS.
White Cloud Kansas chief. [volume] (White Cloud, Kan.) 1857-1872, 1857-07-16

At the marriage Of the great chief
Tnngi to Anna Jane. the daughter Of the
King of the Friendly Isles, the feasting
lasted the whole week. One thousand
hogs were baked whole, with proper
tionate supply of turtle, sharks. ray-fsh.
and every other fish that is caught in
those waters.
White Cloud Kansas chief. [volume] (White Cloud, Kan.) 1857-1872, 1857-07-16

OKE OF THE PRAYERs.-It is told that
when Minister Miles prayed for rain he
left nothing uncertain. He said, "Oh,
- n------~-v ~ ~ HE0s -aus
Thee TO send rs a rain which shall pour
down in fury and swell our streams, and
sweep away our haycoeks, and fences, and
bridges. but Lord. We want It to come
drizzle-drozzle. drizzle-drozzle for about
q week-Amen." ts
White Cloud Kansas chief. [volume] (White Cloud, Kan.) 1857-1872, 1857-07-16
PRESENT FASHIONS.

Bosnst On the shoultsrs,
Nose up 70 the shy;
Both hands full Of hSunces,
Raised Ia shans-high;
Cndsr-skirts bespstfered,
Lock amszins neat;
Au youI silks get "watsred,"
Sweeping down the street,
White Cloud Kansas chief. [volume] (White Cloud, Kan.) 1857-1872, 1857-07-16

Keep ia good spirits. 1t helps on di-
gestion, sweetens sleep. makes you ac-
ceatable to the ladies, keeps Your hail
from turning grey, and most generally
gets your feet into the golden boots o.
natFimonv.
White Cloud Kansas chief. [volume] (White Cloud, Kan.) 1857-1872, 1857-07-16
Howard AssOciatsOn. Philadelphia.
IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT II

ITO all persons aifli cted with Sexual Diseases,
l. such as Sperrnatonhca, Seminal Weak
ness, Impotence, GOnOrrhea, elect, Syphilis
the vice of Onanism, or Self Abuse, DC, DC.
The Howard Association, IN view of the
awful destruction of human life, caused by
Sexual diseases, and the receptions pFaeticed
upon the unfortunate victims Of such diseases
bv Quacks, have directed their Consulting Sur
geOn, rs a charitable act worthy Of their names
% give Medical Advice Gratis, 10 all persons
thus afflicted, who apply by letter, with des-
criptiou of their condition, (age, occupation,
habits of life, &C., and in cases Of extreme
poverty and suffering, to furnish Medicines Free
of Charge.
The Howard Association IS a benevolent In
stitution, established by special endowment, for
the relief of the sick and distressed, afflicted
with "Yirulent and Epidemic Diseases" IL
has now a surplus of means, which the Direc-
tors have voted to expend in advertising the
above notice. Il is needless 10 add that the
Association commands the highest Medical
skill Of the age, and will furnish the most ap-
proved modern treatment.
Just published, by the Association. Report
on SpermatouhRa, or Seminal Weak-ess, the
vice Of OnAnism, Masturbation or self-Abuse,
and other Diseases Of the Sexual Organs, by
the Consulting Surgeon, which will be sent by
mail, I'm a sealed enveiope,l Free OF Charge,
on the receipt of tEO stamps for postage.
Address, DR.. GEO. z. CALHOUN, Consult
inc Surgeon, Howard Association, No. South
Ninth Street, Philadelphia, Pa By order Of
the Directors
- EZRA D. HARTwELL, President.
GEORGE FAIRCHILD, Secretary.
June 4. '57, Iy.
White Cloud Kansas chief. [volume] (White Cloud, Kan.) 1857-1872, 1857-07-16

Henry Ward Beecher says, that he
would as soon go counting with his
faher's old love letters. as to go to church
and carry a book to pray ont Cf. Henry
is "gifted, !" but every body amt.
White Cloud Kansas chief. [volume] (White Cloud, Kan.) 1857-1872, 1857-07-16

Did you ever think. when you saw
very little baby dressed up in his very
long Sunday clothes, that it was like a
sixpenee tied in the corner Of pocket
handkerchief
White Cloud Kansas chief. [volume] (White Cloud, Kan.) 1857-1872, 1857-07-16

WHAT LITERATURE Is.-PoetTy IS said
to be the -four Of literature prose IS the
corn, potatoes and meat; satire IS the
aquafortis; wit is the spice and pepper ;
love letters are the honey and sugar; let
tiers containing remittanees, are the apple
dumplings.
White Cloud Kansas chief. [volume] (White Cloud, Kan.) 1857-1872, 1857-07-16

A DrsTIScTIox.-A writer in the n
Y. Mirror states the difference between
Unitarians and Universalits. thus
The former believe themselves too
good to be damped, and the latter be-
iieye God too good to damn them"
White Cloud Kansas chief. [volume] (White Cloud, Kan.) 1857-1872, 1857-07-16

God made man an agriculturist while
in state Of innocence his first business
was to till the soil.
White Cloud Kansas chief. [volume] (White Cloud, Kan.) 1857-1872, 1857-07-16

There is no excuse for the farmer who
neglecss to provide his family with lux
uries 50 cheap as fruit.
White Cloud Kansas chief. [volume] (White Cloud, Kan.) 1857-1872, 1857-07-16

KlxD ISouIRY.-An Irishman. meeting
a countryman. inquired his name =
"Walsh. "said the gentleman. walsh, I"
responded Paddy, care We from Dublin !?
l know two old maids there of that
name. was either of EN- your mother 81
White Cloud Kansas chief. [volume] (White Cloud, Kan.) 1857-1872, 1857-07-16

A GRAPHIC DEscsIPTIok.-An Irish
mans description of making cannon ;
.STake . long hole and pour brass around
White Cloud Kansas chief. [volume] (White Cloud, Kan.) 1857-1872, 1857-07-16

Be not the fourth friend Of him who
has had three before and lost them.
White Cloud Kansas chief. [volume] (White Cloud, Kan.) 1857-1872, 1857-07-16
Gbe Kansas Chief,
June 4. 81. ".

Is PUBLISHED EVERY THURSDAY. BY
SOL. MILLER, Editor and Proprietor,
WHITE CLOUD, KANSAS.
White Cloud Kansas chief. [volume] (White Cloud, Kan.) 1857-1872, 1857-07-16

Vice stings even in onr pleasures, but
virtue consoles even in our pains
White Cloud Kansas chief. [volume] (White Cloud, Kan.) 1857-1872, 1857-07-16

A YASKEK.-He is self-denying. self
relying. and everywhere prying. He is
a lover Of piety, propriety. notOriety and
the temperance society. He is dragging,
Dragging, striving, thriving swapping,
iostling, ht.stling. wrestling, musical.
qaiezical. astronomical, philosophical,
poetical, and comical sort of character,
whose manifest destiny is to spread civ
ilization to the remotest corners of the
earth.
White Cloud Kansas chief. [volume] (White Cloud, Kan.) 1857-1872, 1857-07-16

PRETTY GooD.-Ths Burris CONNER
cial "gets OFF, the following, concerning
the result Of the late election in this
State:
There is one Republican. put of three
officers which viii probably Save the State
from destruction. But this partial defeat,
when there was no use in it, puts us in
the predicament the boy was when he
stubbed his toe ''He was too old to cry,
and it hurt too id bad to laugh"
White Cloud Kansas chief. [volume] (White Cloud, Kan.) 1857-1872, 1857-07-16
Prepared by DR.. J. C. AVER & CO.,
Practical and Analy teal Chemists, Lowell, MasG
SOLD BY

SOLD BY
Shreve Macy, White Cloud, Kansas;
Reed * Sturges, Iowa Point, e
Jas. N. York, Doniphan,
]. II. Maun & Co.. Brownville, Nebraska;
Peter, Frazer & Co., Oregon, Mo-;
Barnard, Adams & Co., st. Louis;
Van Lear & Britain, st Joseph;
And by all Druggists. july 2, 81, ly.
White Cloud Kansas chief. [volume] (White Cloud, Kan.) 1857-1872, 1857-07-16
LEAVl1T THAxTER."

SeHafe CHAMBER, Ohi0, -9prd so, 1884.
" DR j. G. AIHR-HOnorrd Sir: ] have made a thof-
ough trial uf thu CAIHAEIc PILLs len BY agent,
and have been cured by them ct the dreadful Rheumatism
under which he found me suffering The drst dose
heved me, and a few subsequent doses have entirely
removed the disease. feel in better health Than for
year befEe, which ihie entirely to the effects
Of your CATHARrtc PILLs Yours with great respect,
LUCIUS y. METCALF."
The above are all from persons ho are publicly known
where they reside, and who wond make thesr state
monts without thorough conviction that they true
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1857-02-21
CHRISrMAsANDN NEW
YEAhS PRkSENlS

IOHN H. SMOOF, No. ll9 SOUTH SIDE
~ Bridge street, Georgetown, ID. e. has received
a great variety OF useful and seasonable GOODS,
90 which he lnvites the attention Of both ladies
and gentlemen who may wish To make Christ
mas and New Years Present
EMBROIDERIES.
RIeh worked Cambria Sets (ColIars and Sleeves)
DO do Muslin do do
Do do Muslin and Cambria Collars
A great variety (low priced) do
worked Linen Sets aud Linen do
Rich worked Muslin Sleeves
Slack and white Lace Sets and Collars
Worked ;amsrIc aud Muslin Bands
Embroidered Linen Cambria Handkerchiefs
Hemstitchsd, tue ked and plain do
Black Chantilld and French Lace Wells
Worked, quilted and booped Skirts.
Moire Antique, Embroidered, Satin and other
Cloaks
Double and single Brocha and other shawls
RiCh Fancy and Black silks
r .eRca MeTinoS. plaid Merinos
Plain anL DFiLiel Nous L'delaines
d 81 Pans MIA Sloves, all numbers
kid and Buck Gauatlets
Ladies, gents and children's Warm Gloves
10 Hosiery, Of every kind
PJTiInOnnaiss, and ladies' Cahas
Sat Linen, &c enOric aud SILK Picket HanSk.S
bldc< and fancy silk Cravdts, Searf5 and Ifes
seats Sa1wis, Msrino ari Woolen STARTS
ChildTsl's AMT FLiIn4s and Hoods
L4di5S, geats and boys Comforts &c
With many other desirable goods, which will
DC sJld lO@ - cash or prompt customers
dec y J SMOOT