The Lancaster ledger. [volume] (Lancaster, S.C.) 1852-1905, 1857-05-27

JUtrvs CESAR.
MEssRs EDIroRs IL am n inan of fam.
lIy-larGe family-wife and seven chill
dren-one at the breast, and one Just
withdrawn, for the purpose oc entering the
next senior class. am keptsin state Of
immense excitement at home, on the ono
hand, by ding dong conversations relative
to heavenly bodies, and at the shop, on
the other, by the total absence Of terres-
trial bodies. My wife is a woman strong
in muscle, bnt rather weak in the upper
story, and very muck like person with
one eye-ncver sees both sides at once.
1t has often struck Inc il she had been a
man, what an invaluable member of a
grand Jury she would have made, where
the evidence is wholly esparte. Mrs. o.
has got ii inyber head that the earth will
be destroyed on the 10th of June, next
by comet, and cargo Of combs could
not get il out. She has inoculated- my
children with The idea; and, in week,
they will all be as crazy as their mother.
ArabelIa, my eldest, is melancholy, be-
cause she fixed the twcntieth for her1wed.
ding day, instead Of the ;eath, and be
cause she cannot get her mother to speak
/ to Agustus and have it changed. Her
mama very properly chides her, and SAYS
/ that in place of thinking of marriage, she
had better be prepared to go with US in
family way. There's Ben, too, my hope,
who has always had speculative mind,
and who uses all my ice in making cx-
pcrincuts with mud balls 70 sec which is
the hardest, feeling perfectly confident,
/ from tie recent cold weather, that the
( comet is not n bushes of some heat." ]
loaned Tie scouudrel yesterday dollar
he being SO satisfied with the result ofhis
Iabors-to bet with young Seab over tho
way,who'goes it strongly on the earth. I
! am certain can't lose mmch on the one
. ration, for hold stakes. Next comes
BILLY, Whose education has been so rouch
neglected that his mother never talks
about astronomy, but be looks for some.
thing to eat, ard fits no, there, lie calls
icr i co efiectual!y, lis sure 20 come
True, lie Is my son, but he's a lorrid Iov.
have never ccnversed with Mrs Q. upon
tie sn'jcc,, but Eve often been Hclined
to think lhat child was bora with canl
1t comes so natural to him. Then
there's ;ho small fry (son.o fou .t~ino
among them) who are tolcrabty quiet,
from the fact Of their minds rot being suf-
ticicntIy developed so as to separate spank
ing from the tail Of tie comet and SO it
goes.
But, Messrs. Editors, all things, like my
w'!e's tongue, must have an end, and il
The world is not approaching it, myl;feis.
am positively getting shaky, and Ibave
an increasing desire for gin, the result of
Mrs @ eternal clatter about the comet.
When she comes at me with her face as
red as that the distinguished stranger is
supposed TO have, | fly to shakespere, and
assuming an altitude, exclaim, "take anv
shape but that, and my firm nerves shall
never trembie, but its no go--BiHy
amt no where Well then, what am I
to do? | have it. Call on professor
G'bbes IN the name ofmy frightened fam.
iiy, and Of the community whom he has
INDUCED so often with learned essays, and
who know so well how to appreciate his
talent to let us have his views on The ap-
preaching comet. QUIP.