Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1857-05-14
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A life ill.spcnt makes sad old age

- 10 ascertain WHetner u Woinau 10 pas
sionate or not, take a muddy dog into her
parlor. ..
-"Nat, what are you leaning over that
empty cask for?" "I'm mourning over de-
parted spirits," was the answer.
- Friendship is silent gentleman that
makes no parade; the true heart dances no
hornpipe on the tongue
-"Do you like novels?" asked Miss
Fitzgerald of her backwoods lover. II can't
say" he replied, 81 never ate any; but l
tell you I'm death on possum."
Somebody says there is decided differ
ence between perseverance and obstinacy.-
One is strong will and the other is strong
won't.
That was wise niger, who, in speak
ing of the happiness of married people, said:
"Dat are pend altogedder how dey enjoy
themselves
-"Jimmy, do you go to SCHOOL," "Yes,
sir; to the school kept by Miss Post" "Miss
Post! Not a whipping-pOst, I hope" 30
no, she is guide post"
One of the boys tells of scarc-crow
made by Uncle Ben. 1t not only scared OFT
every crow that saw it, but one crow was so
frightened that he brought back the corn he
stole three days before.
"A hardy seaman, who had escaped one
of the recent shipwrecks upon our coast, was
asked by good lady who he felt when the
waves rolled over him. He replied "acet,
ma'am; very uetP'
-"The British Empire, sill" exclaimed
John Bull to Jonathan ssis one on which
the sun never SETS" "And oue," replied
Jonathan, "in which the tax.collector never
goes to bed"
A tippler, who squinted awfully, used
sometimes to mourn that his eyes did not
agree. "It's very lucky for you" replied
his friend ssforify your eyes had been m'ateh-
es, your nose would have set them on fire
long ago."
"A contemporary, describing dance at
a village in the neighborhood, said: "The
gorgeous strings of glass beads glistened on
the heaving bosoms of the village bellies, like
polished rubies on the delicate surface of
warm apple dumpliugs.
- "You're loafer-a man without q call
ing" said Judge to person arrested as
yagrant. ~ beg your pardon, your honor,
have q vocation" "What is it,? 81
smoke glass for cclipses; but just how it is
our dull season."
The Chinese Herald confirms the report,
that the far-famed porcelain tower at Nan
kin was destroyed in November, during a
bloody massacre of some 5000 or 5000 I'm
perial troops by the insurgents, who had
gained possession of the city by treason.
The following is genuine Hibcrnan
advertisement "Nlissing from Killarney,
Jane O'Fogerty; she had in her arms two
babies and a Guernsey cow, all black, with
red hair, and tortoise. shell combs behind her
ears, and large black spots all down her
back, which squlnts aWfully.
-"What are you about, my dear?" said
his grandmother to little boy who was slid
ing along the room, and casting furtive gan-
ccs at gentleman who was paying visit.
~ am trying to steal papa's hat out of the
room without letting the gentleman see it,
for papa wants him to think he's out"
-sSedley,' said Charles IT,: "look me out
man who can't be corrupted; have Gent
three treasurers to the north, and they have
all turned thieves" "Wcll, your majesty,
l will recommend Mivert." "Mivert, you
dog" said Charles; "why, Mivert is thief
arcady!" "Thereforc he cannot be corrupt
ed, your Majesty" said Sedlcy.
- Passing through the quiet little village
of Saline, in Indiana, fellow passenger
pointed out weather-beaten house of wor-
ship, as the place where he once heard, on a
rainy occasion, the following prayer from
the staid preacher: owe thank thee for the
goodly number here tonight, and that Tho"
art here also, Notwithstanding the inclemen-
cy of the weather"
The number of seamen, of all nations,
is estimated at nearly two millions. The COM
mercial marine throughout the world was
stated, in the year 1855, to embrace about
fifteen million tons. Of this amount Great
Britain had five million, the United States
FIVE million two hundred thousand, and 9TH
er nations of the earth, in Asia and Europe,
had the residue.
-"Well," said Mrs. Partington, the 9TH
er day, as she was engaged with her knit
ting work, ~ wonder if shall ever be able
to express myself correctly. 1t seems to me
1 never can use the right word. Every time
I undertake to say anything, I make some
blunder or other. Whenever I open my
mouth am sure to put my foot in it !'-
and she drew deep sigh as she spoke, indi-
eating that her modification was inexpressi-
BILE.
The 41,695 emigrants who last year
arrived at Castle Garden, brought with them
the sum of s9,642,104. Of these, S., ,055
emigrants, with 2,l01, ,656, were destined
for New York; 1897, with 81, ,9S4, ,l25, for
Wisconsin; 11,749, with s694,7S5, for
Pennsylvania; II, ,064, with 81, 400, ,4e2, for
Illinois; 1885, with 1861, ,637, for Ohio !;
and 6494, with s162,9S6, for Massachu-
sets.
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