Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1857-12-09
NO. LII.
Puns and Punning.
BY o. W. HOLMES.

Do you mean TO say that the pun-question is
! Eot clearly settled in your minds. Let me lay
4 down the law upon the subject Lite and Ian
guage are alike sacred. Homicide and rerbicide
that il, violent treatment of word with fatal
results to its legitimate meaning, which is its
life-are alike forbidden. Man. laughter, which
is the meaning OF the one, is the same as man 5
laughter, which is the end of tile other. A pun
is prima Jacie an insult to the person you are
talking with. 1t implies utter Indifference to or
sublime contempt for his remarks, no matter
how serious. speak of total depravity, ard one
says all that is written on the subject is deep
raving. ! have committed my self respect by
talking with such person. Or Ispeak OF geo.
Logical COMMISSIONS and he asks he what was
the cosine of Noah's ark, also, whether the De-
lnge was not great deal huger than any modern
inundation.
A pun does not commonly justify blow in
return. But if blow we're given for such cause,
and death ensued, the jury would be judges both
OF the facts and of the pun, and might If the
latter were of m aggravated character, return q
verdict of justifable homicide. Thus, in case
lately decided before Miller, J. Doe presented
Roe subscription paper, aud urged the claims
of suffering humanity. Roe replied by asking,
When charity was like top2 1t was in evil
dence that Doe preserved digpi6ed silence
Roe then sad "When it begins to hum" Doe
then-and not till then-struck Roe, and his
head happening to strike bound volume of the
Monthly Rag Bag and Stolen Miscellany, intense
modification ensued, with fatal result. Tic
chief laid down his notions of the law to bis
brother justices, who unanimously replied
Just so." The chief joined, that no man should
jest SO without being punished for it, and charged
for the prisoner, who was acquitted, and the pun
ordered to be burned by the sheriff. The bound
voinme was forfeited as deodand, but nor
claimed.
People who make puns are like wanton boys
that put coppers on the railroad tracks. They
amuse themselves and other children, but their
little trick may upset freight train of CONVEX
sation for the sake of battered wittcism.
And, once more, listen to the historian. "The
Purtans hated puns. The Bishops were notori-
ously addicted to them The Lords Temporal
ltse.f must have its Royal quibble." "Ye be bur-
ly, my Lord of Burleigh," said Queen Elizabeth,
hut ye shall make less stir in our realm than
my Lord Leicester" The gravest wisdom, and
the highest breeding lent their sanction TO the
practice. Lord Bacon playfully declared him
self q descendant OF 'Og the King of Bashan.-
Sir Philip Sidney, with his last breath, reproach-
ed the soldier who brought him water, tor vast
ing casque full upon dying man.
A courier, who saw OIhello performed at the
Globe Theatre, remarked that the blackainore
was brute, and not o man. "TbOu hast rea-
son." replied great Lord, according to Plato,
lis saying, for this be a two legged animal rith
feathers" The fatal habit became universal
The language was corrupted. The infection
spread to the national conscience. Political
double-dealings naturally grew out Of verbal
double-meanings. The teeth of the new dragon
were sown by the Cadmus who introduced the
alphabet of equivocation. What was levity in
the time of the Tudors grew to regicide and re-
volntion in the age OF the Stuarts.
Who was that boarder who just whispered
something about the Macaulay flowers of litera-
ture2 There was dead sieDce-I said calmly,
| shall henceforth consider any interruption by
a pun as a hint to change my boarding house
Do not plead my example. If have used any
such it has been only as q Spartan father would
show up drunkenhelot. We have done with
Them,