Carroll free press. [volume] (Carrollton [Ohio]) 1834-1861, 1857-02-19
humorous ReaOmn
Courllag lut West.

winia. oaEsa war a bachelor and l never
told you aors WY renaiusd in . state o.
number one.
No fsner siays single prsneditated' and IN
eOurEe. = hassun Teller Ike ne, who oil the
gals dsslar to b as enusia' as 6 Jay bird, aSt
6xing 10 stay alone fire could help it. l did
see 9 creature cnce, named Sofy Easoa, up the
Cumberland, nigh into Nashville, Tennessee
that | took an orinl hsnkerin' srler, nndI sol
in o..IeokiE' anxieus for m.lrimOny aae gu
10 90 regular TO needn' and tux = dr'ssin' tire
mshdOus fnefed, Just to see IL eoald win her
good opinion.
She did get % loOkin' at me kind OF sly, Jest
as q horse does at EOmsthig' he's scarf a.,
when. artsf s~hampiu' at a distance fur 9 while
Tsided up to her and blur!ed out e few words
shout the sarmia-shs says yes; but cuss me
il know whether that war the right answer or
not, and Tn thiukin' she didn't know nuthsr.
Well, we larfed and talked a leetle all the
way long to her d~adiy's, and thar l Civ her the
best bend | had 10 me, and raising my bran
new hat as pert and perluS as a minister, look.
in all the time so inlicin' that l sOt the gal
trsnblin.' Her old daddy lad powerful nu.
msrOus lot of niggers, aud lived right a jinin'
my place, while on the ether SIDE liged Jake
Simmons; a sneekin,' cute varmiut, who war
Eurssr than a miser fot stiHglness, and no
sooner did this cursed sarpsnt see me sidlin' up
TO Sofy than he went to slickin' up too. and
sot himself to work to Get me out.
That ar wur a struggle ekil 10 the battle o.
Orleans. First some new 6xup of Jake's would
take her eye, and then I'd sport somsthin' tina
would outshine him; until at last Jake gin ii
irwin to out dress me, and sot 10 thinkin' o
somethin' else.
Our farms wer Jest the same number of a
eres, aud we both owned three niggers a piece
Jake knew that Soiy and her dad kept a sharp
eve out for the main chance, SO he thought he'd
clear me out by byiA' another niger, bit !
fOller'd suit, aud bought one the da! after he
bought his, SO he had no advantage thar; he
then got a COW. and SO did l, aud then, just a.
bout then, both our puISeS gin out.
One Sunday mornin' | warO leetls late Il
meetin', and when | got thar the lust thing J
seed war Jake einmons sittin' close hang uT
agih soly, in the sSme pew with her daddy.
billed awhile with wrath, and then turned soui
/ could taste myself, Thar they vur. singin'
hims out The same book Je-e.miny l~ellers,
war so enormous mad lhpt the now silk hand,
kerChief round ny neck lost its color.
Arter meeLin' war out they walked linked
arms, a smilin' an lookln' as pleased as a young
couple at their chrisliDin', aud -Ofy turned hel
cold shoulder To me So orlul, that | wilIet
down and gin right up strAight-JAke had heI
thar war no disPuIin' 1t.
/ headed towards home, with my hands as
fur in my trowSers pockets as | could push EN-
swarm, all The way that she wur the last ons
that would ever III a chance TO rifle my feelins.'
Passin' by Jake's plantation, | looked over the
fence and thar stood an explanation Of The mat
ter, right faciR' the road, whar every one pass
in could see IL, his consumed COW was tied to
a stake in tho gardin' with a most promisin'
calf alongside on her. The cal Jest soured my
milk, and made Soty think that a Teller who
war always giuin' ahead like Jake wur a right
smart chance for a lively husband.
A shout Of laughter hs,e droWnded Sugars
voice. As soon as silence was restord, he ad-
dvd, in a solemn voice, with one eye shut and
his lorefnger pointed at has AUDITOR
What a cussed sight wosser than his gitIin'
Soly was the fact that he borrowed the calf
the night before of Dick Harley After the
VarmInl got Soly hitchcd, he told the joke all
over tho settlement, and the boys never seed
me afterwards that the diJn' bah bah, to me
for leltin' a calf cut ne cut ola gals affection.
I'd shot Jake, but thort it wur a free cSuny
try, and The gal had a rghtto choose without
bein' made a wilder, 80 | sold out and travel
led. I've always thort since then boys, that
wimmin Wur a good deal like licker-lf you
love 'tm too hard they are sure to throw you
some way.
THE MoTR AND Tue BRAM-John' said nj