The star of the north. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, 1857-09-16
ABsuRDIT,Fs of SPEECH.

Insincerity and extravagant adulation often
belray people into utierng the mos, ridcu-
ous absurdities quite uniIientionally. A
great man addressing the House of Lords,
said, "It is my most painful duty to inform
your lordships thai it has pleased the Almigh.
" God TO release the king from his suDerings."
This was quite equivalent TO saying that he
was sorry the kings sufIerngs were over
maid OF honor in France, being asked the
hour by her royal mistress, obsequiously an.
swered, "What your majesty pleases:" !" an
!, answer even less indefinite than that Of the
cowboy, who, after looking up at the town
clock, said it was only "half an inch past
eight" A nurse wishing 10 give very po.
lite answerto a gentleman who inquired after
the health of sick baby entrusted TO her
care, said, "oh, sir, Jfatter mysetihe child is
going 10 de-" A nobeman told a visitor
that be had been talking TO him in dream
"Pardou me-" replied the other, "t really
did not hear you" A lady Of rank having
had the professional services of village pi.
per at little .teie which she had given on her
estate, received The following rdiculously
civil note from him: Your ladyship's pardon
for my boIdness in thus applying 70: payment
for the labor Of your humble piper, Patrick
Walsh Lord Clarendon, in his essay on
The decay of respect paid to old age, says
that, in his younger days, he never kept his
hat on before those Older than himself, except
al dinner. In the presen: day, the wearing
Of il al dinner would be thought more disre-
spectful than al any other time. George The
Fourth, when Prince of Wales, used to return
the bows of all persons in the street, except
beggars. He justified This omission by re.
marking, "that 10 return beggar's bow,
without giving him anything, would be
mockery, and TO stop for the purpose Of be-
slowing sxpence would seem os.enlatous
in prince" Sir Robert Graham, being in
formed that he had been found guilty of
capital offence, desired the man TO be again
placed on the dock, and hastily putting on the
black cap, he said, "Pfisoner at The bar,
beg your pardon" and then passed on him
tut dWlui e6ulcuCO VI ucdh. II COuutlt CoI
penler having neglected to make a gollows
that bad been ordered 10 be ready by GER
tain day, the Judge himself went to the man,
and said, "Fellow, how came you 10 neg
Iecl making the gibbe, that ordered
/ "Pm very sorry for had known that H.
| Cos yesslorl4aip Il should have been den
Immediately, While an officer was bo~lfI;
a cannon ball passed over his head, and a.
capitaied soldier who stood behind him.
"You see," said the officer 10 those near him,
olhat man never loses by polileness." Nc
poleon's hat having fallen off, young lieu.
tenant stepped forward, picked it mp, and
presented il 10 him. "Thank you captain,"
said the emperor, inadvertently. Gin what
regiment, sire s' inquired the sub, quick as
lightning. Napoleon smiled, and forthwith
promoted the witty youth 10 a captaincy.--
Notwithstanding the fury with which the
battle of Fonienoy was contested, il began
with great show of civility. Lord Charles
Hay,.a captain OF the English guards, advan-
ced before line ranks, aud Count d'Auleroche
a lieutenant of grenadiers in the French
guards, stepped forward TO meet him. "Fire,
gentlemen of the French gnards!" exclaimed
the English captain. "No my lord" replied
the French Lieutenan, eve never fire first"
This reminds us of an anecdote told of Cur
ran who, being called out TO give satisfaction
10 an officer for some imaginary offence, was
told by his antasonis. TO fire first, which he
declined, saying, GAS you gave the invita-
lion, ! beg you will open the ball."