Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, Va. [W. Va.]) 1852-1859, 1857-08-20
n .. ra,.llissassr.l
Re..ln,iep, af,he WhselIns De lead end

ZACH gentleman DScit
renlenisiied with Bsck's best lager, the spea-
ker arose to announce the reasons for this sud
der, meeting, and remark upon tine important.
matters 10 DC considered ION the present occa-
sion"
He ras for a moment interrupted by our es-
teemed townsnlan, Gideon GaspiPe, who begged
I.,ve 10 suggest that before the learned gentle.
nan proceeded rvr,isr with his interesting re-
marks, the mugs Of tie members DC replen.
ished with bier, so that they might be fsTtitied
AGAINST too much expression Of that indignant
feeling which the eminent orators address might
Feugender. This important matter being alien
ded to- the chairman again took his stand, with
the most pleasant and agreeable expression oil
face imaginable.
"My friends and feIlow-citizcns." said Mr..
SnooEs. with a beautiful smile and graceful
wave of lis right band ''l,nGeeRst9laet az an
t5 puJiic speaking, permit me to say IN the Ian
gtiage of a graf ani good man, whose name
Just nov escapes my memory, am Delighted 10
see YOU" In return for which beautiful com
pli.neni, each o! the gentlemen most beaminglE
bowed. ard took another tlrihk of Lager
''Thisz is an occasion which am proud to say.
continued Mr.. SnooiS, 'swG all appreciate and
individually feel unbounded interest in.
There Is, gentlemen, n time for peace, and a
time for war, n time tor temperance, and a time
for Lager Bier 1t is impossible for the rcpor-
ter of these proceedings to impress the reader
sally of Mr.. Shocks produced Indeed so great
was tie applause, that the learned chairman, to
check his surchargcd feelings WAS compelled to
take another glass, as did each of the excited
members But order being at length restored,
the speaker was permitted To continue.
2 Now, gentlemen; the time for peace has pas
sed, and the tune for war has come; the time Tor
mental sobriety is Aed, and the Lager Bier cri-
sis is at hand.' The reader will perceive the
beauty OF the chairnans remarks we hope
Now gentlemen continued tie excited @
speaker, ''let us consider our position, and Ike
well drilled soldiers prepare to meet the issue OF
Out eu,.ssi if triumphant we may drink to sue
The speaker had scarcely v,,tmPictcl tbs Hast
sentence, ere every glass in the room was
drained TO the bottom, aud the room echoinS to
the cries for more.
Order was again restored, and Mr. Shocks
Continued, II said, gentlemen, that the time lGr
war had come, and now propose to explain. =
At this point Mr.. Solkcm arose aud standing as
erect as possible, under the circumstances,
begged leave to state that the eloquent CHAIR
man had in my opinion, done ample justice to
1.-THE momentous question. II the speaker viii
/ deign to excuse my interruption, move that
the society consider the explanations OF the
chairman, unquestionably lucid aud explicit,
land'-here the rceling Tncmber was called down
amid cries of ''order." ''hcar the chair" aud
snndry other expressions, not snited 10 the
' tastes OF our religious ctii!SiS.
Order being restored, and fresh supplies oil
Lager" being introduced, the chairman once
I more took his stand! And here let US not for
get to do justice to the accomplished and eio-
lgueut speaker by informing our readers that
/ our noble Shocks could drink Lager all night
without any i'll effects to his mental abilities )
that is though he might become very lumber in
I the body, he was sound and erect in the head.
/ 81 arise again." continued Mr.. Shocks. ito
explain the intention uf this meeting, and beg
1t VIII require gev--eAi friand Mr. SDaken, that
explanation" Here Mr.. Red Nose was dScOv-
cred in ninst deplorablc c1ndiiion-tat is, I'M
der the table, aud Mr. Auzzle IN a fair way TO
/ follow his iIlustriouS example But the speaker,
! SO much interested in keeping his own feet, had
no time to observe the unfortunate position CT
+ his friends.
when look round this room" continued
Mr.. Shocks" and see before such array
Of beauty and talent, and energy as is presented
/ in the friends who constitute this glorious and
p, time lonorcd association; when remember the
thousand elegant accomplishments that qualify
these gentlemen for husbands and fathers; when
/. | think upon yOur numerous virtues and unpar
alleled moral department. blended with
i Bravo! Bravo! rnng through the room mingled
with clashiHg of glasses, pounding OF tables,
until poor Red Nose, stupid rs he was, felt the
necessity OF gathering himself from under the
table as soon as possible, which was rendered
somewhat easier by the table being suddenly
turned FROM over him through the agency of our
excited friend, Mr. Hoop uurra.
In the midst Of this excitement our worthy
chairman took another glass of Lager, but in
stead of turning it into his mouth, through the
the tremuous state Of his muscles, (hOrriSle to
irelatc) poured it on the head over the face and
down the back of Secretary Dennis O'Ioodlc,
who, 50 soon as lac could recover himself enough
to from whence the indignity proceeded,
summoned nil his strength, and with tremcn-
his hipr and all #
the head Of our unfortunate chairman, whn in
attempting to avoid the mug. leaned a little over
his equilibrium, went, frog" frshion, into the
middle of the room, where he lay not little
! stunned by the fall.
But as thunder peal will sometimes queli
the storm, aud one great excitement oblittrate
lesser, so the affair Of poor SnOoks seemed to
startle the noisy crowd into perfect silence
Some two or three of the Soberer ones lifted up
/ the unfortunate chairman from his shocking q
position on the floor and laid him upon the long
est table, as best they could, and nutwithstaad-
/! ing the earnest petitions of Red Nose TO wash
I him in Lager, as the best and safest remedy,
succeeded ia bringing him to his with the
aid of little cold water thrown over his face
and the smallest amount OF Limbaugh Cheese
applied to his
Poor Snooks, he really looked wretched, when
at last he opened his eyes and WOnderingly CLAM
ced around the rOoul Remember, my friends, /"
said hc at last, with some effort to control his
feelings from exhibiting themselves through
the esers;Ois Of his stomach 81 am not to blame
/ for this unfortunate issue" At this moment
Secretary 0"Foodlc conmenced-taki7g another
drink. ''No my friends continued SRooks, 81
was never more sober in my life; {! appeal to
any member of this association (hccup) to say
if lNtlonS Snooks hls becnin the least affected y
drink TO night:' thitcup.)
III course no one had been drunk, and Hoop
Hurrah beggcdlcave TO say, that in his opinion,
the evening had passed away most delightfully."-.
and to the interest of all concerned, and that
before he sat down, it pleased him that it was in
his power to vote that the united thanks of the
Do5-dotd Chi be, aud is hereby returned to our
honorable Chairman, for the clear and lucid ex-
PLANTATION he had 50 handsomely made Of our
intentions in the future" This vote WIS car
RED, rsrg unanimously; if the same persons vo-