Holmes County Republican. [volume] (Millersburg, Holmes County, Ohio) 1856-1865, 1857-10-15

AN UNsoPHIsTICArED SWEETHEART
A young lady alighted from stage coach,
when piece Of ribbon fell into The coach.
"fou have left your bow behiEd," said
lady passenger. =.
"O' no haven't, he's. gone a fishing"
innocently rejoined the damsel, proceeding
on her way.
MITIGATED AFFLIcT1oN DEPARTMENT
A gentleman stepped into a store where
none but mourning goods were sold, and en-
quired for slate eolored gloves. The po-
lite clerk informed him that only black
goods were sold in that room; for slate
colored gloves he must step into the matt
gated affection department!
ALL IN FLUTTER.-A Harrisburg pa
per gives the following case of absence Of
mind;
A girl who was one Of our first lovers,
was one night lighting us out, after having
passed delightful evening, and in bashful
trepidation she blew US out, and drew the
candle behind the door and kissed it.
"Blush not now" said distinguished
Italian TO his young relative whom he met
issuing from haunt of vice; eyou should
have blushed when you entered" That
virtue is of little worth, which shrinks not
from the slightest contact with evil, instead
of looking to the worlds opinion.
A little friend, while coming down stairs,
was cautioned by his mother not to lose
his balance. The question which followed
was puzzler: "Mother, if would lose
my balance where would it go tor
A militia captain out south, on receiving
a note from lady requesting the pleasure
of his company, understood it as COM
pliment to those under his command, and
marched the whole of them to the lady's
house.
Hannah Banks admitted, recently, before
the public tribunal at Hull, England, that
she had roasted a toad alive, pounded it
with the the food of her fellow servant, for
the purpose of inducing him to love her
but alas unavailably.
Recently lady stopped at the Madison
House, Covington, KY, with her husband
and thirty-two children. She was about
sixty years of age, but looked young and
hearty. If this can be beat, we are ready
to chronicle the fact.
Jenny remarked to his grandmother
that old Mrs. Crankshaw had the appear
ance of person with one foot in the grave.
aWell, really, upon my word" said the an
tique lady, al thought / noticed she walk
ed leetle lame, lately"
GoINe THE WHOLE AN1MAL--aBilIn
said one loafer to another, recently, aPs
National Reformer, is"
"Vy, is that our party?"
"Vy, yes, hossy, it is that. If you put
in vote for the party, you votes yourself
q farm.
"Vell, don't go that without they'll 90
little further. / wants farm, and SOM
body to work it BESIDES"
A SMOKER AND JoKER.-The Spring.
field Republican tells story of a coal
dealer and an insurance officer who were
conversing, when the latter suggested ci-
gars, and jocularly offered to pay if the
coal dealer, Mr.. P would get them.
"Agreed," was the word, and Mr.. P -
received ten cents, went off and bought
couple of cigars. Mr.F--,the insurance
man, and still in is chair, received his cigar,
and, after putting, and squeezing, and pinch
ing, remarked that F. had better
luck with the cigar he was putting freely
away upon than had fallen to his own lot,
II shouldn't wonder" replied p,
"for gave eight cents for mine, and only
two for yours"