The north Iowa times. [volume] (M'Gregor [i.e. McGregor], Iowa) 1856-1857, 1857-02-13
From the Nep YORKER.
What Addison said about Hoops.

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One Joseph Addison-of whom few
people in this degenerate age may have
heard something-wrote satirical article
in the Taller, about century and half
ago, with the design of showing up hoops
to the laughter Of the town. The wits of
the present day have all had their dig"
at the same enormous,topic, but we have
seen nothing yet that in dryness and
quaintness of humor will equal Addison.
1t is an odd thing to reflect upon, that a
fashion, which was rldiculed out of exis-
tence so long ago, should spread iself in
the middle of the nineteenth century, and
that the same war which Addison and the
other saiirists of his age waged against
it. should all have 10 be fought over again.
At that time the voice OF the critic and
humorist was an authority in the land,
and when Addison launched his darts at
the vast airy fortre sses he lei the wind out
of them. In these latter days, the wits
what few there are of them-are pow
erful in the presence of fashion. Though
the follow ng may be of no particular
avail as an argument it is nevertheless very
funny reading. and as such is worth put
ting into the paper.
Addison is describing the trial OF a
young lady whom he has arraigned in his
court of high humor: -."
''The court being prepared for proceed
ings on the cause of the petite at, gave
orders to bring in criminal, who was
taken up as she went up out of the pup
pet-show, about three nights ago, and was
now standing in the street, with great
concourse of people after her. Word was
brought me, that she had endeavored
twice or thrice TO come in, but could not
do SO by reasons of her petticoat, which
was too large for the entrance of my house,
though l ordered both the folding doors
to be thrown open for its reception. Up
on this | desired the jury of matrons,
who stood at my right hand, ito inform
themselves of her condition, and know
whether there were any private reasons
why she might not make her appearance
separate from her petticoat. This was
managed with great discretion, and had
such an effect, that on the verdict from
the bench of matrons, ! issued out an ora
der forthwith, ''that the criminal should
be stripped Of her membranes until she
became little enough to enter my house. y
had before given directions for an engine
of several legs, that could contract or open
itself like the top of an umbrella, in order
to place the petticoat upon it, by which
means might leisurely take survey Of
it, as it should appear in It's proper dimen,
sions. This was all done accordingly
and forthwith, upon the closing Of the
engine. the petticoat was brought into
court. then directed the machine to be
set upon the table, and dilated in such
manner as to show the garment in its ut.
most circumference but my great hal
was too narrow for the experiment fol
before it was half unfolded it described SC
immoderate circle that the lower part o
it brushed upon my face as | sat in my
chair Of judicature. l then inquired fol
the person who belonged to the petticoat
and to my great surprise was directed to
very beautiful damsel, with so pretty ,
face and shape that | bid her come out o
the crowd, and seated her upon a littl,
crock at my left hand.
my pretty maid. said |, "do You Owl
yourself to have been the inhabitant of th,
garment before us ?"
r "The girl, ! found, had gooa sense ant
told me with a smile, that .'notwithstand
ing it was her own petlicoat, she woul,
be very glad to see an example made of it
and that she wore ii for no other reaso
} but that she had mind 10 look as big an
, burly as other persons of her quality
!. that she had kept out of it as long as sh
! could, and until she began to appear littl
in the eyes of her acquaintances that.
she had laid it aside people would thn
that she was not made like other We
men,"
n II always gave great allowance to ;h
fair sex upon account of the fashion, au(