Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1857-01-09
A San Francisco Auctioneer.

! iohihS iVPVio VI " HpVCSh ihauO w q NaAr
itornia auctioneer:
" Ladies and gentlemen, l now have
the honor of putting up fine pocket
handkerchief, a yard wide, yard long,
and almost yard thick; one half cotton,
the other half cotton too; beautifully
printed with stars and stripes on one
side, and the stripes and stars on t'other.
1t will wipe dust from the eyes so COM
pletely as to be death to demagogues,
and make politics as bad business as
printing papers. Its great length,
breadth and thickness, together with its
dark color, will enable it to hide dirt,
and never need washing. Going at ono
dollar twenty-five cents ? one bit? Mo-
body wants it Oh thank you sir
Next gentleman the ladies won't
be permitted to bid on this ARTICLES
real, simon pure, tempered, highly poll
ishod, koen-edged Sheffield razor bran
spankin new; never opened before to
sunlight, moonlight, starlight, daylight.
or gaslight; sharp enough to shave a
lawyer, or cut a disagrecable acquaint-
ance, or poor relation; handle Of buck
horn, with all the rivets but the two at
the ends of pure gold. Who will give
two dollars half dollar? Why 20
long bearded, dirty faced reprobates,
with not room on your phizzes for Chi
nese woman to kiss, I'm offering you a
bargain at half dollar razor and strop
a recent patent; two rubs upon it will
sharpen the city attorney, all for four bits;
and piece Of soap, sweeter than roses,
fathers better than schoolmaster, and
strong enough to wash all the stains from
a California politicians countenance,
all for four bits. Why, you have onlyto
put the razor strop and soap under your
pillow at night and wake up in the morn
ing clean shaved. Won't anybody give
two bits then, for the lot; knew l.
would sell EN-.
Next, ladies and gentlemen. I offer
three pairs socks, hose, stockings, or
half hose, just as you're mind to call
them, knit by machine made on pur-'
pose, out Of cotton wool. Tho man that
buys these will be enabled to walk till he
gets tired, and, provided his boots are
big enough, needn't have any corns, the
legs are rs long as bills against the cor
poration and as thick as the heads of
the members of the Legislature. Who
wants EN- at one half dollar? Thankee,
madam, tho money.
Next, | offer you pair of boots, made
especially for San Francisco, with heels
long enough to raise man up to the
lIoadley graces, and nails to insure
against being CT over by aland slide;
legs wide enough to carry two revolvers
and a bowie knife, and the uppers Of the
very best horse leather A man in these
boots can move about as easy as tho
State capitol. Who says twenty dollars?
All the tax payers ought to buy pair to
kick the council with; everybody ought
to have pair to kick the Legislature
with, and they will be found of assistance
in kicking the bucket, especially if some
body should kick at being kicked Ten
dollars for legs, uppers and souls at that.
are bringing twenty thousand dollars in
Sacramento Ten dollars Ten dollars
gone at ten dollarsl
Nexts something you ought to have,
gentlemen, lot Of good gallowses-~.
sometimes called suspenders ! know
that some Of you will after while be-
furnished at the States expense, but you
can't tell which one, so buy when they're
cheap All that deserve to be hanged
arc not supplied with a gallows; if 30,
there would be nobody to make laws,
condemn criminals, or hang culprits un-
til a new election Made Of pure gum
elastic-streteh like a judges conscience
and last as long as California Office
holder will steal; buckles Of pure iron, and
warranted to hold 50 tight that no-man's
wife can rob him Of the brooches; are,
in short, as strong, as good, as perfect,
as eHoctual, and as bona fde as the or
dinance against Chinese shops on Du-
pont streot--gone at twenty-five cents"
CURroUs BAoTs OF NATURAL HfsT0RY.-