The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1857-04-30
ddljt auo gnmor.
The Way to Collect q Rn1.


dant means, he was Of course consider
cd ultimately good for any little debt he
contracted, but he had contracted q bab-
it Of holding on to his money until fore
ed by extra Importantly to fork over.
"Ihere goes the old Squire" said
Brown, the merchant, "I've had a biz
OF five dollars and fifty cents against
him for eighteen months, and if I have
asked him for it once, I have done so
twenty times; but he has either not rot
it with him, or he will call tomorrow,
or, if not in a good humor, he will swear
like q trooper, at my impudenco in dun
ming him at unreasonable times"
Now there was one Joe Harkins,
waggish sort of a fellow, who heard the
complaint Of merchant Brown, and re-
solved upon some fun.
Come now, Brown said Joe, "what
will you bet I can't get the money from
the old Squire before he gets homer
"a new hat, said Brown.
Enough saidl" laid Joe.
While Brown was hunting the bill.
Joe disguised himselfin a striped blank
ct and slouched hat. Thus eouipped
with the bill in his hand, he took after
the Squire
"Hello! is your name Squire Tobin?"
eyes, answered the Squire, with a
snarl "what is that to you. sir?"
81 have a little bill, sir-collectinp
for merchant Brown, sir"
Merchant Brown can 20 to thunder.
sir, - said the Squire. "Ive no money
for him; you must call again"
Joe bowed politely, slipped down the
alley just in time to head the old
Squire at the next corner.
ooh, sir said Joe, stopping sudden
ly, "is your name Tobiu?"
"TObin, sir, is my name"
"Here is little bill, sir, from mer-
chant Brown"
"Zounds sir" replied the Squire.
Didn't l meet you just around the cor
ner?'
"Meet mc?' replied Joe; "gucss it
was B, another Of Browns collect.
ors."
"Then / suppose merchant Brown
has two red striped collectors dogging
my steps 1 won't pay it, sir, to-dav-be-
gone" The old Squire. as he said this
brought down his stick hard upon the
pavement, and toddled on.
Joe, nothing daunted, took advantage
of another alley, and by a rapid move
ment, in few minutes placed himself
once more in trout of the Squire
The old mans bile was making him NUT
ter and growl, as he walked along. now
and then giving point to his anger, by
very emphatic knocks of his cane upon
the sidewalk. When within about TWEEN
ty feet of each other, the old Squire es-
pied his striped friend once more in
front. Squire Tobin stopped-and rails
ing his cane, exclaimed:
"Hou Internal, insolcnt puppy what
do you mean?"
Joe, affecting great astonishment,
checked up within a safe distance, and
replied:
Mean, sir? You surprise me, sir; 1
don't know you, sirl"
"Ain't you merchant Browns collect
or that dunned me five minutes ago?"
"Me, sir?' replied Joe "I am one
Of merchant Browns collectors, to be
sure but don't know you, sir"
My name is Tobin, sir, reioined the
irritated Squire, "and you look like the
fellow who stopped me twice before"
"Impossiblel sir," replied Joe. "ItI
must have been some other of mer-
chants Browns collectors. You see.
sir, there are forty of us, all wrapped in
red striped blankets-and, by the by,
Mr., Tobin, think have a small bill
against you"
"Forty red striped collectors, and each
one after mel" calculated the Squire
"Darn me, must put a stop to this;
they will all overtake me before reach
home Saying which, he pulled out
his wallet and quietly settled merchant
Browns bill of $3.50.
Joe thanked the Squire, and moved
of; but asthe Squire had another square
to travel before reaching home, Joe
could not resist the inclination to head
him just once more. He accordingly
made another circuit, and came in collis |
ion with the angry old man, ere he
was noticed.
"Zoundsl zoundsl stranger" vocifera-
ted the Squire "What-?" Here
he caught sight of the red striped blank .
ct, as Joe, discngaging himself from
the old man. took to his heels. Squire
Iobin's cudgel was fercely hurled after
Joe, accompanied with a hearty curse
upon merchant Brown and his forty
collectors in red striped blankets.
1t is unnecessary to say, that Joe
Harkins was seen next day, topped off
With a bran splinter new hat.