Smyrna times., 1857-02-18

NorfoLk, Va. -. -..... ~. ......
Written for the Smyrna Times. =.
Spy Again Making 0beisance to Sam.
Mr.. Editor IF "Sam" " isn't too far gone
with the fit of horrors he was lately thrown
into, by reading my article on hoops and crino-
lines, to admit of his being turned out among
sober people, I'd like an introduction TO the gen.
tleman; and if | didn't give him fits of quite
another Sort it's simply queer-that's all.- He
says something about green spots in his memo
ry. but think he'd confoundcd sight better
talk about green spots somewhere else, for it's
my opinion, he's nothing but one enormously
great green spot all over, from head to foot and
from centre to circumference. lie pretends to
say something in defence of the poor, persecu-
ted Jair-OneS of his native town, and his COM
munication reminds me of big gun firing off
"squibs" for the amusement of children. Hea-
ven protect the fair-ones, and everybody else
too, fIom such chicken-hearted protectors as he
isl Protector indeed. I've said nothing but
what I'll say again, and if he has any objections
to make, let him come to me and make them
I'll show him what gentleman looks like, and
talks like to boot. | know ever7 inch Of him.
and if he's not contoundedly careful I'll ma ke
him know me very soon. | said hadn't sa id
anything but what Id say again. No, but I've
got great deal more to say that l havn't said
yet, and if he don't mind, he'll get the benefit
of it. He talks about the - dear bonnets" and
the " dear hoops" Goodness gracious! Dear
BOnnetS lin the name of common sense,
d" Sam" Chat name smells tooOIly), who did
teach you how to manufacture soft-sawder =
And then he mentions the lords of creation,"
and says something about shawls and shanghai
coats. Why, bless your little soul, Sam, the
gentlemen in this part of the country don't
allow themselves to be caught cut of doors en-
veloped in your ffty-feet bales of horse-blanket-
ing and, as to the shanghai coats, the " lords of
creation" don't have any such article attached
to their wardrobe. 'Tis true, we sometimes
see few ourang-outangish looking specimens
of humanity, peregrinating our streets. wrapp-
ed in something which assumes the title of the
prettiest garment ever worn by lady,a shawl :,
and having more hair, bristles, oils, and per-
fumes outside their, craniums than they've got
brains inside; but these contemplate bipeds
don't belong to the fraternity Of gentlemen:-
we call them "squirts." So, you see, friend
Sam, you'll have to load and fire again. You've
made bad shot, and if you don't mind. you'll
get yourself into a COMPOUNDED scrspe before
you're aware cf. it. IknoU you, as | said be-
fore. and know what rm about, and I'll teach
you how to mind your own business. havn't
said a word yet that any right-minded wo-
man would find any fault with. spoke just
what thought, and expect to do the same
again; and whoever runs against me will be
apt to get his pedal exuemites driven in an
inch or two, or else I'm not Spy any longer
Pm ready to defend the fair sex myself, even to
the last drop of blood in my veins, if there's
any need Of il but I'll make them throw their
whalebone accoutrements all into the Atlantic
first, before I'll strike lick. That's my feel
ing on the subject, if it's any benefit to you.-
And now, if you want TO get into a rumpus.
just come down here, with your hairy upper
lip and shanghai coat, and offer to tread on the
) toes Of any lady in this community. rH shsw
you who defends the fair sex. You've mistaken
your man for once in your life, and you'd as
we'll own up right at once, and acknowledge
yourself whipped, before you're compelled to dc
worse. / don't undertake anything without
being satisfied I'm right, and then all the Sans
in creation may roar and howl as loud as they
please, ,---my motto is " never give up" and
tell you what it is, Pm just bound to say wha'
: please, at all times, in all manner of places
in every possible shape, and to anybody am
: everybody that happensto jaragainst me. Ia
: as independent as any man in the nniyerses an'
feeling that We been most outrsgeously wrong
, , ed, I'm determined to defend my rights. Sc
for your own benefit, tell you, you'd bette
keep your hands off However, if you feel lik
! ! getting into a .muss" by firing at me again
: please put something into your gun beside
" powder don't like lnilk-and-water missiyes
10 Yoa've not. seen the end of this yet.u I've go
% another dose for you. and some other peopl
a into the bargain. Mr. Editor, can't you pc,
susde a Sam" to take the Timssf - oi'I
u smyrrs, Feb. IL, 1857. laa'peiat .aiA
( Z tA%t ffHtf1tattA