The weekly Columbian., 1857-05-23
"A Clean Back Out"

| In f1Ourlshlng village not more than
three hundred miles above Mobile, Ala,
live two individuals whom we shall call
Jim and Joe. The latter is quiet, good
natured, inofensive sort of chap-one of
those who will stand running upon" as
long, if not longer, than the most of men,
but who is a perfect Bengal tiger" when
his passions are once aroused.
On the other hand, Jim is clustering,
bullying bragadocio--one of that particu-
lar class of men whose voice is always
loudest in brawl, but whose feet have
wonderful knack of carrying them out of
the way of hard knocks For great
length of time the latter had made butt
of Jee-had, time and again, by dint of
much clustering and staggering, COM
pletely cowed him. An opportunity Fl
nally occurred, however, of showing the
two men up in their proper colors.
In the course of a warm dispute, Jim
let out some offensive remark which pro-
duced more than ordinarily caustic re-
joinder from Joe. The former tried the
"blufing" system at once; but Joe, as
he himself remarked, had "stood enough"
and would "put up" with no more insults
from his bullying neighbor.
perhaps you want to fight" said Jim,
buttoning his coat, and looking pistols
and bowie knives at the calm but deter
mined face of his opponent.
Fight l WILL rejoined Joe. you
have been in the habit of Growing over
me for year past, and intend putting
stop to it at once"
Jim could not for a moment believe
that his neighbor had the least DISPOSE
ton to carry out his threats, and accord
ingly went at him louder than before
WELL said he, i've been trying to get
fight out of you for the last six months,
and, slapping his hands together and
commencing squaring off, he concluded
with, AT least there is small chance of
making something out of YOU.
Walk with me out of the corporation
limits. where we can avoid the law, and
you shall be gratifed. Pm not in the
habit of Dragging Jim, but it's my can
did opinion that in about ten minutes
you'll be so badly licked your own mo-
ther won't know you. Come along
There was an air of determination
about Joe that rather staggered his ad-
versary, but he still thought he could
frighten him out of fight, and with that
intention started off down the street that
led out OF the village.
'Whoop p said Jim, i feel so much like
fighting | can't hardly hold myself
Glad to hear coolly rejoined Joe.
Joe, let's go in here and take drink
said jim. as they were passing coffee
house, his courage beginning slightly to
fail. If we're going to fight we might as
we'll have drink first
No, SIR said Joe. L came out to
fght-not drink
We'll, fight it is. Give me fair show
10; that's all want
You shall have fair show, and fair
licking, too-neyer fear that, jim
Here's another doggery, Joe think
we'd better walk in and take horn be-
fore the fight
Il told you once before, Jim, that I
wouldn't drink. After the fight you can
drink as much as you please, if you're
able to swallow
'Eh 7 said Jim, with slight tremor;
and givin. species of lem, by way of
clearing his throat and raising his cour-
age, retorted with
They had now nearly reached the cor
poration limits, and Jim's courage, like
that of Bob Acres, was oozing out at cv-
cry pore. He had tried to frighten Joe
out of the notion of fighting, but finding
himself disappointed he now tried to
creep out of the scrape on another tack
They were passing the last grocery in
the village, and an open lot which had
been chosen by Joe as the field Of COM
bat. was in plain sight.
.Joe-a hem-Joe,' said Jim, nervous
ly. Take drink, Joe-a-hem.'
.Never!' rejoined Joe with an empha-
frightened neighbor.
Cant we compromise-a-hem-can't
we settle this thing somehow, Joe?'
NO
.Well-a hem-a fair show-that's all
| want, Joe--a fair fight
Never you fear-you shall have fair
show
They were now upon the ground
Joe commenced taking off his coat with
a provoking GOODNESS and self-possession.
"A hem-Joe, can't we come to some
understanding cant we, as I said before
compromise this little quarrel without
a-hem-a fight, eha'
lam here to fight replied Joe, throw
ing down his coat and commencing roll