Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1857-04-17

The gentleman begged Mike to shoot the
infected sheep and throw them in the riv-
er. This was exactly what Mike wanted
but he pretended torcsist. at mought be
mistake, " he said; ''they'll NAV be Git we'll.
He didn't like to shoot mannv-s sheep on
his own say-so. He'd better 90 an ask
some of his neighbors ef it was the MUIR
rain sure nuf." The gentleman insisted,
and Mike mo1estly resisted, until finally
was promised a couple Of gallons of old
peach brady if he would comply. His
scruples thus finally overcome, Mike shot
the sheep, threw them into the eddy, and
got the brandy. After dark, the men
jumped into the water, hauled the sheep a
board, and by daylight had them neatly
packed away and were gliding merrily
down the stream
Why is an omnibus strap like con-
science? Because it is an inward check to
the outer man.
EXAMINATION IN AxAroMr.-How does
man differ from the brute creation? He
stands upright but he doesn't act So
What is the worst kind of fare for
man to live on? Warfare.
Why is turkey most unchristian
fowl? Because It is two-thirds Turk
\ wheel, unlike horse, runs the better
tor being tired.
Why is the letter d like sailor? Be-
cause it follows the G..
Effects of drinking. He who takes too
many glasses will become himself a tumb-
Ter.
An indirect way of getting glass DIVA
ter at watering place, is to call for a third
cup of tea.
Old MAID.-One of the favored sub
jects for exercising the couragc of towards,
and the wit of the witless
What is the difference between an auc-
ton and sea-sickness? One is the sale of
cilects-and the other, the effects of sail
What kind of fever has man who is go
ing to pay his creditors who live at dis
lance? The Bilious Remittent.
Why does cook make more noise than
the bell? Because the one makes dia but
the other & dinner.
Hezekiah says if his landlady kne,c
beans, she would not buy the article called
burnt and ground coffee.
Why is woman living up two pair of
stairs like Goddess? Because she is
second Flora (Floorer.)
What would you say if you wished rev
erend Doctor of Divinity to play tune on
the violin? Fiddle dec-,lce Cd. D.
When a lazy man says, I'llde it at nv |
leisure you may take it for granted that
he will not do it at all.
Religion is an insurance against fire in
the next world, for which honesty is the |
best polly.
A young lawyer recently put his spinal
column out of joint in trying to draw a /
re- That was a,wisc Niger who. in
speaking ofthe happiness Of married people,
All. dat ar pend altoscldcr how dey en-
oy themselves"
There is a firm in New York, the name.
# which is-Lay, Hatch d. Cluck. The
Jerks arc all presumed to be all Shang-
ais.
E1- The CENTENARY ''ireI at ran
ON" did no. hit it; anil, in disgust, he lent
is rifle to the youth who hal determined
''aim at Immortality" /
One of our exchanges says it is argra-
ating to see a good-looking man wrest-
nS with your wife in a waltz, without hay
lg the privilege of going up and tighten
ag his neckercliief.
St Martin is one of the worthless of the
'oman Calendar, and form ofprayer COM
lenccs with the words, 80, mihi, beatcl
lartine," which was corrupted into "Mv
ye and Betty Martini
IT, The other day an old lady rushed =
ITO the garden in search of her daughter.
n being told that the young lady had
one there with a s'rake.'' a
E1- The woman who made pound of {
utter from the cream of a joke. and a
hecsc from the milk Of human Kindness, "
as since washed the close of year and
ing 'em up to dry on bee line. l..
E5 We see 'sseamles skirt advcr In
sed for ladies. Good! ANYTHING that p
Ill make their skirts seem less will be
ratefnf to gcntlemea. The inventor de- 4
rvcs service of plate-if he can pay for
"Sal," cried girl looking out of the
'per story window Of small grocery.
nd addressing another girl who was try
8 to enter at the front door, sswc've all :,
ZEN converted; so when you want milk
Sundays youwill have to come in the
lex way"
lS Mr.. George Sharp, commonly.
He'd by his friends G. Sharp, looking r
ther dull one evening in company, some
nc observed that sG. Sharp was in rather
lov key" Oh!'' replied young lady,
any one knows that G. Sharp is A lafi" 81
kE. One of the best titles of mcrcan
le firm we have ever seen is ssCall d Set
e." which is printed in golden letters on r
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