The American. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1857-1857, 1857-08-12
The Old Bachelors Register from Sixteen
t'' TO Sixty-EOur. E#H


yerest attack, a s at aaEy
"a. Thinks no woman on earth good enough for
Z him. 4st $40, aEaF sA&9 stfF ftsT7stAg".
%. Spends his evenings in oyster saloons boast.
ing OF the number OF girls who are In love with
him
23. Goes a little in the society of virtuous females,
+, and sows his crop Of wild oats ,fsszr
"a. Contracts a real passion for some young lady.
and ia accepted. $50 Jta 5ao 9aaess
25. y The connection is broken of in consequence
4 Of self-conceit on his part
%. Pays his visits to another lady, and takes
great pains to walk with herb the window of
\ his former love. ..s.y:,.a .Ig .#,.a5 ,r
81 The OBJECT OIL his second attachment is cruelty
4, abandoned. 8a 2a tta &
49, Sows another crop of wild oats
20. Talks doubtingly about female virtue. 41E
80 Makes up his mind never to marry. .l@
81 Falls violently in love with young widow,
? and relents. NIX q.
49, To his horror and amazement he is rejected.
49, Mind still musing on the beautiful widow,
wonders who could have prejudiced her. against
him, and means to shoot himself ~tE
"a. Rails against the fair sex generally, but
throws tender glances at his washer-woma
whom he thinks is rather pretty.
IS. Flirts with married ladies' and cultivates the
confidence and friendship Of their husbands. N.
36. Complains that his lady acquaintance are too
81. His bosom becomes pocket handkerchief for
Il all afflicted females. ,t
38. very large number OF widows call at his Of
flee to borrow small sums of money! IA aass.gta
80. He begins to think again of natrimony ia.
40. Falls desperately in love with young girl Of
seventeen, who has remarkably developed bust,
and an immense head of hair.
Al. Am de,vaier despair, another refusal
AZ. His morals become lax again, and he spends
hto Aopo nrnoi IN, of .,
and drinking ..s Il. .sr,
43. equity symptoms make their appearance.
"A. Resolves to abstain from wine and big dinners
As. Back to his old habits again IN &". e.
46. A fresh budding Of matrimonial ideas
Al. Another young widow perplexes him
49, Resolves TO address her with unmingled sensa-
tons Of love and interest. Iins9raaat
49, Interest prevails, which causes much cautious
reflection. .elg-r sat- s. .a.rt au.i 81
SO. Which the widow sees, and jits him, being as
cautious as himself
81 Now grows rapidly ayerse to all ideas OF matri.
So. Gouty and nervous symptoms become more
violent. Iu t #t# .ataausf .u.sa r
3D. Fears what will become ofhim az he gets older
and more infrm. y" H1tfr'
81. Thinks living alone very irksome
55 Resolves TO keep house and get nice. prudent
Young woman az house keeper.
81. Begins TO feel more attachment TO her.
80 Is in great distress how ID act a.ap re.
So Is completely under her Influence, and very
wretched.
co. She informs him that her reputation is suffer
ing in the neighborhood and refuses 10 live any
longer with him solus. taaaa -U
81 Is panied TO the heart ats the idea Of parting
4 with her. t- lr fI
90. Gouty nervous, and bilious symptoms become
alarming.
So. He calls her to his bed side and promises to
marry her. r. t..,,
"a. Grows rapidly worse, makes his will in her
favor, sends for the doctor and dies. r1 .f
i .I.fI "a u .'f.
y. Too "PERcrsE. Cen. Carroll every now and
then remembers pretty good one, and on pinch
generates something fresh" T'other day, at the
market the General happened to remember philo-
logical anecdote OF which he was reminded by
some remark in the crowd, and which he gave
thus;
Twenty or twenty-five years ago old Phleg up
in Madison county, was telling hs friend Jones,
consarnin' Of fight. Phleg had very little edica
ton, but Jones, was man Of right smart readin'
SO old Phleg went on tellin,' land" says he,
"heg fit and fit and ftp 4
And, says jones, with KNOWN look, "did
they Keep a-fttn "
Old Phleg drawed himself up and looked as mad
as the devil, into Jones' face, and says no ,.l
You're ID Percise about langwidge-rouT
then, d----n you" t".H unII .Ha's
r" Phleg,N continued the General "was man Of
material parts, but ar'nt, to say, book-larnt man
john RANDOLPH AND TRIsTRAN BuRGEss-
1t is said that the only man in Congress who
could meet John Randolph in a satirical encoun-
ter was Tristram Burgess, who II is said courted
rather than Stunned the encounter. The follow
ing isl sample shot of the Hon. Tristram, in re-
torting upon Randolph:
"Sir, Divine Providence takes care of his own
universe. Moral monsters cannot propagate. I'm
pot mt of everything but maevolence Of purpose,
they cannot otherwise multiply miseries, than by
all that is pure, and prosperous, and
happy. Could demon propagate demon, the uni.
verse might become Pandemonium but rejoice |
that the father Of lies can never become the father
Of liars. Too much OH how too much for one
nation" a4a.aH .....
~ The most impudent and unblushne assault |