Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1857-08-19
NEW PHASES OF THE "GOOSE QUES-
TION.p ....|

most laughable story is told by an English
correspondent of the New York Sunday Times,
of what occurred a short time since on one of
the railroads running out Of London. We
thought that we were at once witnesses and par
ticipators of q droll adventure on one Of the
New York railroads, when n lot of hungry and
blOod-thirsty Hungarian teaches, getting loose
from a jar in which they were confined, spread
themselves promiscuously over the lower limbs
of the passengers, and commenced feeding, to
the great surprise and CONSERVATION of all; but
the English story is far more ludicrous, and we
intend spinning it out little in our own way
1t seems in o four passenger ear on London
railroad, there were two travellers on the Occa-
sion in question. One was a civil, modest, we'll
behaved gentleman; the other, who set opposite
him was lady, ''fat, fair and forty" who was
also of n modest mien and conduct The train
had hardly commenced moving, when the lady
jumped up, and with n crimson flash on her
countenance, exclaimed:
"HOw dare you"
Dare what" said the gentleman, in astonish-
men'
@ Insult me in that manner" continued the
lady, still swelling with Indignation
u" am not aware of having insulted you in
any way, form or manner" retOrted the gen.
tleman, innocence and inquiry depicted in
every linelment Of his countenance
" Well, don't touch me again" continued
the lady, "if you do III call the guard"
The gentleman sat marvellng, but silent
wondering what strange cOnceit, when sudden
ly she sprang up second time, and in fresh
burst OF Indignation broke out with
- I'll not stand such impertinence and insult;
I'm decent married woman, and your conduct
is unsufferable.''
But my dear madam, what upon earth has
got IN your head-what do you mean'
g mean that will not be insulted You
mistake my character, sir, if you think I will
put up with such impudence. You're an imper-
tlnent, gOod-for. r.nothing puppy, that's what
you are, and with flashing eyes she resumed
her seat.
The gentleman was still wondering at the
strange conduct of the lady, totally unconscious
that he had given her the least cause of offence.
when she suddenly started up third time.
with the ejaculatiOn-
Keep your hands to yourself, If my hus-
band was here he Il pitch you out of the window
I'll have You arrested the moment the cars
stop:
hat hands-what do you mean? You talk
like crazy woman, believe you are insane!''
was the response Of the bewildered gentleman.
Let go my legs" broke out the lady, Jump
ing up again, and this time in perfect frenzy
of passion.
II don't know anything about your legs
never touched your legs in my life-never want
to touch them. You are as crazy as Bedlam-
you are candidate for the first lunatc asylum
on the road-and I'll have you arrested the
moment the cars STOP" put in the gentleman,
with honest indignation.
" And I'll have you arrested for taking i'm
proper liberties with me, responded the lady
with an equal amount of virtuous excitement
manifested in her countenance
In i've minutes more the train stopped there
was violent letting down Of the windows in
the car occupied by the enraged passengers. a
loud duett of cries Of Conductor Guard
" Any body" Every body" "This way.''
followed from the train.
whats the matter?' quered the anxious
conductor, rs he poked his head into the car in
haste.
This woman is crazy as a lOon-mad as a
march hair-take her out said the gentle
man.
And this man has been picking at my legs
all the way from London, the impudent scamp
retorted the lady, glaring furiously in his face
Quite a smile came over the face of the con-
ductOr, as he thought he could explain the mat
ter at issue; and reaching his hand under the
lady's seat he drew out goose, which he had
placed there few minutes before the train
started, not suppOsing it would be occupied
The legs of the aquatic fowl had been tied all
the time, but had free use of his head and bill
and had been amusing himself picking away at
the lower limbs Of the lady.
We think that this may we'll be called a new
phase, if not a settler Of the vexed Goose
Question"