New-York daily tribune. [volume] (New-York [N.Y.]) 1842-1866, 1857-02-14


to make out what il was Ill shout First he sex down
a org row Of figures. which he added together, sod
then seemed TO instantly conceive the most unreientng
hostility to the sum total The mathematical torures
to which he put that unhappy amount; the arthmet-
cal abuse which be heaped spon il, ard the asebraic
contume, with which he overwhelmed i, almost defy
description He first belabored it with the four simple
rules: he stretched il with Addition he cut Il in two
with Subtraction; he made top heavy with Muiph-
cation and tore to pieces with Division-then he
aced lis square root then extracted the cube root of
that which left nothing Of the unfortunate sum total
but small fraction, which he then divided by a5, and
made equal TO" an in6nitesimal part OF some
unknown r. Having thus wreaked his vengeance on
the unhsppy number he laid away the surviving frac-
ton in cold corner of the slate where he lef il IN
delightful state Of uncertainty, irs, however giving
psrtpp token of his bitter maEgpity by writing the
minus sign before IT, which made it perpetuany worse
than nothing and reduced il to state OF rredeemabe
agebraic bankruptcy. This praiseworthy object be-
ing finally achieved he proceeded to translate into in
teigibe English the result of his calculations. which
he announced in the terms following;
"The testimonial is not the most sapguine. II the
time of birth given correct there is 10 sppre
bend that something of an effective nature occurred at
about wears and 10 monts-at l6xl0 think may say,
il the time Of birth is given correct there is from the
figures to expect that there is probability OF
similar sitiwaton Of events. At q there was favor
able sitiwation of events If there not somebody or
sometbin aflict We on the contrary, the which
am disposed to think might be possible AT
% If the time of birth is given correct
there is reason to expect great hkeihocds OF
some success in life; may, it is true be mistaken
in my calculations but the sgnicaors are angular
think there indications that such will be the sitiwa-
ton of events At 30 if the time Of birth is given cor
rect think you are individual as may look for
some species of misfortin-there viii be some rather
singular circumstances occur which might denote
loss of friends, or the fallin to You of for
tin, or great trsvellin' by water or land, or
losin money at cards, or breakin' your leg, or
maxim great discovery, or inventin' somethn,
or gettn put into prison suspicion of sorcery and
wchcraf You will see that there is indications to
denote that YOU will certainly be accused of sorcery
and wtchcra by some individdyals who are not your
friends-the indications denote great likehOods that
this will make YOU uneasy in your mind, but think
there is not rohn of very serious natur to be feared
at that time of e the time of birth is given correct
When anv msfortn is comm upon you there Is no
doubt Though not gon to state positively that
such will be the case still there is strong hkehoods
that the indications give such probability that
will give You wann of its approach. At &C. if the
time of birth is given correct there is indications OF
likelihood that you will fall upon some other mlsortin;
am not prepared to state positively that such will be
the case, but think you will have misfortin though
ICcn't think it would be Of very affective natur
There is at that time circumstance of unfriendly
natur though it may not happen to yourself; might
denote that your brother will get sick. There is an
other evil condition about this time which will exam
inc still furder | see that there is indications of a
likelihood that there is probability of your having
somethin amss by partner if somethin OF favor
able natur does not nterpose which is not unlikely
though NAV be mistaken and win not say positively.
You will be lucky however after that and many OF
your evils will gradually begin to recne, as it were.
There is reason to believe that the sgniicators denote
that in the course OF your futur life you will sometimes
| be thrown in with men who you will think is youi
friends but who will prove to be your enemy. This
will not say positively for may be mistaken which
think am not but if the time of birth is correct, you
are an individual as gives lkelhoods that such might
be the case"
For more than an hour had our reporter been edited
and Instructed by these solid chunks of wisdom,
which, il will BE- remembered, not delivered off
hand, but carefully cphered out by elaborate cal
culaons on the slate aforesad. Lucid and elegant
was the language and interesting the matter Of
these oracular communications, he felt il to be his duty
TO iIenupt them for time and change the subject to
theme in which he felt nearer interest: accord
ngy he asked the musty Seer about his prospects Of flu
ture welded bliss This inject OF so great i'm
portance that all the other calculations had to be
erased from the satetbs little operation accom-.
pished in the Of the schoolboys who hant got
any sponge, and the dirty hand piled briskly for a
minute between the juicy mouth and the dlngy slate
and became shade griner by this oeanly process.
Then new horoscope was drawn with more Signs OF
the Zodiac than ever and in due time the result was
thus announced:
81 shall now endeavor TO give you a description OF
the sort of person you might be the most kelest to
many. There is indications that your wife might be
respectable. The signficators do not denote that
there is likelihood that You might marry very old
woman. She would be as likely TO have fair hair and
blue eyes as anything ese mol would she be likely to
be very much too tall, and don't imagine YOU are an
ndviddy al that might be likely to marry woman who
was very short. She may not be very old, but do
not think the indies tions point her out as being likely
to be child; in fact, think it possible that che may
be Of the ordinary age though do not wish 10 beunder
stood as being positive on all these points, for may be
mistaken, though think you will find that there is
likelihood that these things may be 30. You will be
married twice and think you are an Individual that
would be likely have chidren-slx children think
there is indications that You may be likely t. have.
The ssnfcators point out very evil condition, and
think may say that I'm quite sure I'm positive
that you VIII separate from your first wife. No, viii
not cav that yours is quanesOne natur, but the sg'
n;rca.ors look bad Things is worse in fact