Smyrna times., 1857-08-19
THE BACHELOR AND BABY.

'What shall | do!' and the old bachelor
stamped about the sitting room in perfect rage
OF doubt looking first at the mapping babe in
the little willow cradle, and then at the busy
French clock on the mantle-shelf
'As sure as my name is Joseph Phelps, that
little, two-fisted, large-lunged nephew of mine
is waking, and it wants one whole hour of the
time which his mother appointed for her return.
Whew | actually swear thinking about it
What can | do with it--how can treat it to
sugar what dye call ems, or hold it, or trot it,
or do anything with it!'
AT this juncture faint wall from the baby
receptacle brought bachelor Joseph to his tabs
With an energy and alacrity that would ill be-
come husband and baby tender, he commence
ed rocking the cradle, sendisg the indignant
baby in perfect tremor of kicks and squalls
Backward and forward, from one side Of the
cradle to the other, the round, red face rolled
the infant fists were clenched with force that
purpled them while from the white plump
throat came cry that set the bachelor wild
with fear.
Again Joe looked at the clock.
What in the deuce can do = he exclaimed,
viewing wotully the little inlamed face before
him.
lie sat in big chair before the baby-spread
a double table quilt over mis- knees, and with n
look OF terror upon his face, proceeded to take
baby from its rcsting-pace. He drew the
young hopeful into his lap, Just as very neat
old lady would pick up pocket handkerchief,
with his thumbs and fingers. A fresh yell from /
the rosy mouth of the baby was the only ex-
preston of thanks as he commenced the never.
out-ot-tashon baby-trot
1T must be that something is prickling him.
Shoe shoe! said Joe, commencing a search
for the aggravating pin that was driving the
child into such rage. But ne pin was to be
found, and he made an attempt to turn baby
over, but oh the little ee-like form fell out OF
his lap on the floor, sending forth cry that
was louder, clearer, deadlcr than before
Lord, save inc have broken its neck was
the exclamation as he picked baby up and in
the agony of despair tried to quiet him. A
thought struck Joe. lie saw basque hanging
against the wall of an adjoining bedroom, and
with smile of delight upon his countenance
ne went for it, Sure enough, there it was.
'tuffing, bodice, and all: real monument of
feminine ingenuity. He was wild with ioy.-
He pinned it over his coat, and fastened the
sleeves behind him. He took baby and laid its
head against theNalse breast work.
Shades Of southern plantations and cotton
actorles!' exclaimed Joe, as baby rooted its
nose into it about mile, then cudded for
'nooze. Then the bachelor commenced sino.
ing:
Women are all heeting show,
For mans deluson given,
When filled with cotton, stuffed with tow.
She looks quite we'll"
rap upon the door stopped Joe in the midst
of his suggestive song, and before he had time
10 disarray himself the door was opened, and
-ogulsh, laughing pair of eyes peered in upon
him.
Your sister is not home, is she = chirruped
hc visitor.
No ma'am,' stammered Joe, growing very
red in the face and | have turned nurse
Miss Hayes laughed; offered to relieve him
Of his charge, which he willingly consented to,
sitting near by, the whlc intenty watching.
She managed baby to a charm, without the
basque, and Joe was captiVated.
Joseph Phelps married Fanny Hayes; upon
my word he did.