The Council Bluffs nonpareil. [volume] (Council Bluffs [Iowa]) 1857-1867, 1857-07-18


tween the thumb and forefnger Of bis left
hand, and raising them, very much to the
relief of his nasal organ, said: ''Yes, gen.
slemen of the jury, that is what it means.-
You can take the case" y.
As soon as a vote could be taken, the ju-
ry returned: ave, the jury find for the de
fendant.''
"You are discharged, gentlemen. Mr..
Clerk, charge the costs of this suit to the
plaintiffs attorney; and Mr.. Sheriff, take
Mr.. Vantemer in custody, and unless he will
treat his honor, and the officers of his hon
or's court. for the contempt just proven,
keep him in custody"
The sheriff took him, and as he started,
Van commenced muttering something to
himself; finally, heard something that
sounded like sit is folly to be wise."
THE DISGUISED LOVER.
BY KENT.
Nv friend Tom has natural affection for
dirt, or rather dirt has natural affection
for Tom. 1t is to him what gold was to
Midas-whatever he touches turns to dirt.
No matter how white the cravat-no mat
ter how immaculate the vest, the moment it
comes within the sphere Of Toms influence,
its whiteness is gone; it is immaculate no lon
ger. Dogs, sweeps, and lamplighters ney-
er pass him without leaving upon his dress,
unequivo ocal marks of their presence. Once,
and only once, saw him cross the stree
without encountering the wheels of cart
riage. l opened my mouth to congratulate
him, and before could utter one word, it
was filled with mud. The careless blockhead
lay at my feet, full length IN the gutter.
At my earnest solicitation, he once pur-
chased suit of precisely mud color. 1t
was a capitol idea. He crossed the street
three times; he walked half mile; returned
in appearance, at least, unscathed. The
thing was unprecedented. True, he was
welcomed by the affectionate ,caresses of a
dog that had been enjoying the GOODNESS of
neighboring horsepond; true, he received
shower bath from the wheels of an omni-
bus. But to plaster mud on Toms new
coat was "to gid refined gold-to paint the
lily"
"Tom will be neat man ye,," said
as witnessed the success of my plan.
In about half an hour it was my fate to
meet gentleman with seven stripes of
green paint on his back-it was my friend
Tom: he had been leaning against same
newly painted window blinds.
His man Caser declares that he "can't
see de use OBJ brak boot when he never
stay bracked" and his washerw oman, with
a very proper regard for her own reputation
has been compelled to discard him, not from
anv ill-will, but as she declared, with up
yified hands. 'lf any one should ask me
if washed Mr.. Smiths clothes, what could
tell them?' But there were many things
in this world with which Tom could have
more easily dispensed than the services of
his washerwoman.
Having no other amusement, one morning,
lstrolled over to Toms room. lascended
the stairs, and heard his voice in q very de-
clded tone -
''But it must be done, and so there is an
end to it,
"Really," was the reply, "anything with
in the limits of possibility: but to make a
coat in ten hours will promise any thing
in the world; but really fear shall be
unable to perform"
elf double your price would be any OBJ
ject !''-
''Cetainlv, sir, if you insist upon it--cer-
tanly. l will put every man in my shop
upon tit shall be done in time. Good
morning, sir"
The door opened, and fellow with shears
and measurs passed out. What could Tom
be doing with tailor?
"Just the man wanted to see,' exclaim-
ed Tom. 81 require your advice upon Il
very important afiair-which of these cra-
vats do you think most becoming?
And he spread before me some half dozen,
of every hue and fashion.
"Now, what in the name Of all that is
wonderful does this mean Tom! A fancy
ball, is it? You have chosen an excellent
disguise; your nearest neighbor will never
know YOU. But you cannot support the
character; if YOU had taken that of chin
ney sweep, now-but that would have been
too natural. Tell me Tom, what does all
this mean?'
"Why, the fact is, Frank passing a
hand through his hair, redolent of macassar,
81 have concluded think shall be little
more neat in future. You doubtless re-
member the good advice you gave to me
some time since; it has had an excellent ef
feet, assure you.'
Now it so happened that of all the good
advice had given Tom, this was the very
first instance in which he had seen tit to fol-
low it. So could not attribute the me-
tamorphoss of my friend to my eoquence.
Who but woman ever changed IA sloveu to
fop.
"Pray, where are you going this evening""
| continued, ''that you must have "A new
coat so suddenly''
.sGoing! Nowhere in particular. had,
indeed, some idea of calling on my old
friend, MIR. Murray. No harm in tha.
hope
Conviction began to fash upon me.
"Your old friend Mr.. Murray. And his
Young niece, Miss Julia. has no share in the
visit, ! suppose? heard that she arrived
in town last night"
snow, upon my word. Frank, you mis-
take NE entirely. did not know that she
was in town last nighs-when THAT is,
when IL did not know anything about
it,
sand so you were there last night, too
I-Resllv, this is getting along bravely."
"Why the fact IS, Frank, you must know
everything. called last evening to see
Murray on some business about the real es-
tate YOU know.
had no more idea of meeting = woman
than boa constructor. Ny beard was three
DAYS old, my collar ditto. and the rest of
nv dress in szceiIep, keeping. became
engaged in conversation aud some how or
other forgot all about the real estate"
Sand so YOU are going again tonight
and tha, is the secret Of your new coat 20
sBy no means; wanted q new coat. and
tailors are so long, you know. Do you
think blue will become me, Blue is her
fayorite-that isl m4an blue.:-
sob, 90 on-doa't stammer-blue is her
fsyori,e, color isn't ii sF'
"The fact is, Frank--take another glass
of this wine-,he fac. is--good wine. isn't
i,y been wovoyages to the lndies-ihe fact
I suppose rather fancy-I am little in
in love. Try some of that sherry. What
are the symptoms, Frank-a queer feeling
abou, the heart. and something which drives
the blood through one Ike liz shsning."
"Exaetly, believe have seen julia :.
short and chubby, isn't she-wish red hair,
and little sauin, eyed -
.Frank, / never did knock you down,
though have been tempted to do so a great
many times but, If you don't stop that
nonsense wil-'