Monmouth weekly herald. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1854-1860, 1857-05-07
Humorous shcttb*
Servant Girls VS.. Hair Oil.

want girls, and it is an idiosyncrasy Of
servant girls to take their share of toilet
articles, such as hair oil, perfumes, &C.,
while they are rejuvenating the apart
ments of the boarders. Dave and his
friend Robert were very careful Of their
respective toilets, and being in counting
way, had been paying extra attention to
personal adornment for a long time
They were in the habit of getting pint
of hair oil made up at the druggists at one
time; and finally they were in the finding
that pint Of this costly hair oil wouldn't
last week and that all the servant girls
in the house emitted the same perfume
that they did. 1t was not long before
they came to the conclusion in the matter
So one evening, finding that the hair oil
cruise was empty, they took the bottle
which had contained 1t, and straightwav
went to Matthew's drug store. There
was a whispered conversation with a
laughing clerk, a mixing of various -arti-
cles in pint bottle, and the following
was marked on the prescription book as
the contents.
or TACK Asa etida-( milk Of asa oetlda,
which for the information of
our readers, we will state is
highly concentrated extract
of that delicious drug) Of this 1 OF
Of Liquor Of Potasse-a fluid
slightly celebrated for its
corrosive power, having the
property of taking the hair
off a dog in ten seconds, or
Balsam of Fur-tbe suckiest
and gummiest article known, / OF
Honey, OF
Alcoholic make the ingrcdi-
ents fluid, - pint
This was we'll "shuck" and deposited in
the usual place occupied by the hair oil
The next morning Sunday Dave and
Bob dressed themselves for church, and
after finishing, travelled down stairs
But they came up another stairway in q
few seconds, and secreted themselves in
room adjoining theirs where from a
couple Of panes of glass over the door
they could see everything that went on.
After the people of the house had gone,
two or three servant girls came into
Dawes room.
Whisth, Molly" says a laura, red.
headed one, "Mr. Dave have more Of the
lie, and my hairs as dhry as powder;
let's have rale fix up wild de folks all
away" This was acceded to and they
all went to oiling their locks, being very
lavish with the fluid, which was quite
thin in consequence Of the alcohol. In a
few moments red head says
"Wirra, that schmellS so u with her
nose turned skyward.
"Sure it's the pariume," interrupted a
short and dumpy specimen, with her haI
down her back.
"Parfume- indade," says red head
that's not parfume, that has rale bad
| schmell."
"Mebby,' says dumpy, SITS the Patch,
chew lee-(Patehouly.) I've hard that
Patch hew-slee schmells dreadful a: fust,
! a pershon must get used to the sehmell
before they like it. Sure it's parfumt
used by the quality
This satisfied red head after thorough
Cling" they left the room, In about two
hours the boarders came home from tho
church, Good gracious, what sit? Bless
my soul, Mr.. c., l shall faint; oh
my dear, there must be an unclean ANNA
| in the room!" And a thousand other ex
pressions were heard, as the boarders
got sniff at the Patch-chew lee, when
| they entered the house.
The master and mis- tress Of the house
were puzzled, confounded, and indignant
and cndeayored to discover the locality
of the smell" At dinner time there
were not a dozen boarders at the table
and those that were, were rapidly think
ling of backing out, as the three girs who
were ling" were attending on them
Finally dinner was given up. and with
doors and windows opened. the inmates
alternately froze and suffocated The
day was a dire one to them, but it wore
away some way.
At night the three girls attempted to
comb their hair. The alcohol had evapo-
rated, leaving the balsam Of fir aud hon
ey, and they might as well have attempt
ed to comb bundle of shingles. At the
very first dash that red head made her
comb caught and through the influence OF
| the potassae at the roots, the whole mass
of front hair came off the side of the red
heads Uranium, which she discovered
with veil that would have rendered a
cannibal envious. The same result atten
tded the rest Of her hair, with the excep-
ton of enoagh to do up as a scalp lock to
ornament with feathers. The other girls
met with the same fate, and about ten
O'Clock that night they might have been
seen wrapping up their lost Patch chew
iced" locks in pieces Of paper. The next
morning they were Informed by the mis-
tress that she did not desire to employ
bald headed servant girls and with theil
" chists" they departed in almost scalp
ed condition. The discovery of Dave
and Bob's connection with the transaction
was not known till lately, but their toilet
articles have been as sacred from touch
as the tomb at Palestine.
MoRAL.-W When boarding, see that tbs
servant girls are attended to in the way
of toilet articles.--BHfa5o Republic.
ORIe1N OF CHIT CHAT.-Naturally, wo'
men talk more than men. The learned
I