davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The weekly Minnesotian. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. Territory) 1852-1858, 1857-06-20

ID A GENTEEL THIEP.-A New Hampshire
editor, while recently travelling, had his wal
let abstracted from his pocket by an adrolt
pick-pocket, while indulging in short nap.
1t contained only few short paragraphs tor
bis paper, and a grocer's bill Of some six
months standing, requiring immediate pay
ment, or else. Humph Nufced about
that. r-o g ,--,-f.t tr
The thief was so disgusted with the re-
suit of his exploit, that he returned tho
plunder by express, with the following
note - U2i) ft 11il aaoa 3-at
-s You miserable skunkl heres your pock-
itbook. ! don't keep no sch. For feller
dressed like you was. to 60 round wild wal
lit swagcrin' and nothin' int but lot Of
noosepaper scrapes, an' 4 grosher's crave for
feeding you, is . contenperable imposishun
upon the public. i hear you're an edditur.
| return your darn'd trash. never robs
none but gentlemen" 'D' a" ~
The weekly Minnesotian. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. Territory) 1852-1858, 1857-06-20
A WoNDERFuL ANIMAL.-The anne Ted

A WoNDERFuL ANIMAL.-The anne Ted
description of the Rhinoceros by Snowman
is very like the bombastic and incongruous
nonsense in which that class indulge:
"Mr. Snowman, what is that 2" That,
my dear, is the Rlnocecrow. He is cousing
German or Dutch relative to the Unicorn.
He was fed in the desert of Sary Anne, and
fed on bamboo and missionaries. He is very
Courageous, and never leaves home unless be
moves, in which case he goes somewhere
else, unless he is overtaken by the dars. He
was brought to this country much against
his own will, which accounts for his low
spirits; when he is melancholy and detected.
He is now very aged, althourh he has been
the youngest specimen Of anima ted nature in
the world. vtlHI ii .-u laa
The weekly Minnesotian. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. Territory) 1852-1858, 1857-06-20
GOOD NIGHT.

Good night how sweet its music fale
In soothing cadence on the ear,
And every -eutle feeling calls
RESPONSIVE 10 its earnest cheer;
No lin so rude or light OF tone
Can rob IL Of its magic thrill, ri "a.
Speak but the simple Words alone, ,.
In any voice, tits good night still.
Strong are the charms that in 1t dwell,
For all who may its accents breathe;
And copjpred by its potent spell,
The mi.ts Of fancy slowly wreathe
Into the dear familiar forms
Who crowned it with halo bright, AH
And lent il half the glow that warns
The heart that hears fond Good Ni9Ra.
A fathers blessing on IL rests;
'Tis sacred with q mothers kiss;
II cheers the path Of ,,arting guests,
Ii fills the heart with happiness,
Its soothing influence, lingering, noats
Where pillowed innocents repose,
From quivering chords, as fade the notes,
As fingers perfume near the rose.
Though parting be its constant theme,
1t holds not parting's keener sting;
SO short the time-'tis but dream,
And sweet reunion dawn VIII bring;
1t yieds to heavens protecting care
The loved ones till the morning light;
To him whose faith and trust are there,
Tho black the gloom, It's still GOOD NIGHT.
The weekly Minnesotian. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. Territory) 1852-1858, 1857-06-20
A Stage Wait.

The Chapman family, consisting of old
Mr.. Chapman, William Chapman, George
Chapman, Caroline Chapman, and Harry
and Therese Chapman, children, some wears
since'established and carried into operation
On the Western waters "foating theatre"
concerning which SO many anecdotes are told.
The family were all extremely fond of fish,
ing. and during tue "waits" the actor q il used
themsel, es by "drupping line'' over the
stern of tho ark. On one occasion, while
playing the "Stranger," Act w., Scene lst,
there was long wait for Francis; the servant
of the misanthropic Count Walbourgh.
Francis Francis !" called the Stranger.
No reply. .....
" Francis Francis!" ia pause.l "Fran-
els" rather called the Stranger again.
very dlseant voice: "Coning, sir."-
A considerable pause, during which the
Stranger walks up and down, a Ia Macready,
in great rage.l
Francis (enteIing): Here am, sir"
Stranger: Why did you not come when
called ?'
Francis: "Why, the fact is, sir, 1 was Just
hauling in one of the d-dest biggest catfish
you ever saw"
1t was some minutes before the laughter
OF the audience could be restrained sufficient
ly to allow the play to proceed.
On another occasion, while laying at Nat
chez, the erformance being the play of Piz-
AFRO, Rolla, in his last act, after seizing the
child, and as he was rushing up towards the
bridge, observed large negro holding tea
cup full of blood, (ross pink,) which WAS
wanted almost Immediately ON the other
side of the stage.
Here, boy, carry that blood round to me
on the other side l want it the moment l
cEuss tue bridge"
Away dashed Rolla, bearing the child aloit
amidst volly OF Spanish musketrs and
turning to cut away the bridge with his
sword, what was his horror to see the tall
| negro walk deliberately upon the stage be-
tween the " waters" and in full sight Of the
audience. holding the cup in one hand and
stirring up the contents with the foreingcr
of the other, and hear him excaim:
Heah, Massa Smith, here's your blood"
The effect upon the audience can be be- :
ter imagined than described, and the drop
was Immediately lowered to shut in the lu-
dicr us scene-Philadelphia Sunday Tran
script.
The weekly Minnesotian. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. Territory) 1852-1858, 1857-06-20

VULGAR WoRDs.-There is as much con-
nectlon between The words and the thoughts
as there is between the thoughts and the
words-the latter are not only the express
ion of the farmer but they have power to re-
act upon the soul and leave the stain of cor
ruption there. A young man who allows
himself to use profane or vulgar words has
not only sworn that there is a foul spot on
his mind, but by the utterance of that word
he extends the spot and inaames it, till BY
indulgence it will soon pollute and ruin the
whole soul Be careful of your words as
well as your thoughts. If you On control
the tongue that no improper words be pro-
nounced by it, you will soon be able to con-
troll the mind and save it from corruption.
The weekly Minnesotian. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. Territory) 1852-1858, 1857-06-20

LrrERAL.-A lady on a visit to Dublin,
having great fancy for pound-cake, sent
her Irish servant out for loaf. The man
went out on his mission, but was absent a
most unaccountable time.
About midday he returned in great
heat, bring huge cake in his arms, an, To-
gizing IN the richest brogue for his long alb
sence, and stating that he had searched all
over the city for pound cake, but could
only find an eighteen shilling one, which he
hoped would suit her ladyship as we'll.
The weekly Minnesotian. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. Territory) 1852-1858, 1857-06-20

"BoY ALL OvER."-A distinguished Geor-
gian lawyer says that in his younger
days he taught boys school, and requiring
the pupils to write compositions, he some
times received some of very peculiar sort.
The following are some specimens:
"ON INDUsrRY.-Iti is bad for man to be
idol. Industry is the best thing man can
have, and wife is the next. Prophets and
King desired it long, and died without tl
sight-Fnis." n
ar."ON THE SEASONS. is four seasons
--Spr ng, Summer, Autumn and Winter
They are all pleasant. Some people may like
Spring best, but as for me give me liberty Or
death. The End" ~
The weekly Minnesotian. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. Territory) 1852-1858, 1857-06-20
From the St. Anthony Republican,


The official canval of the returns from the
several precincts in this county took place
on Tuesday and Wednesday, in the Office OF
the Register of Deeds, who, in conformity
to the law had called to his assistance E. S.
Jones and J.C. Mccain, Justices OF the
Peace. The figures do not materially differ
from those given last week. Eden Prairie,
the only precinct in the county not then
heard from, cast but % votes, all but I be-
ing Republican. But the votes resumed
from Eden Prairie, Island City and Maple
Grove giving an aggregate Republican
majority OF 2l-were rejected from the count
as the judges failed to distinguish in the re-
turn between Delegates from the Council
District and Delegates from the Representa-
tive District. r....,t
The result of the canvas, for the whole Of
Hennepin county except St. Anthony is as
foil VIC.
The weekly Minnesotian. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. Territory) 1852-1858, 1857-06-20
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

1T is said that no forte ever suffered so
much from sing battle as has the piano
forte from the battle Of Prague.
WANTFD.-A lock OF hair from the head
Of steamboat navigatiOn-Iikewise a toe
from the loot of mountain. ge 1A e41 I
Why is Louis Napoleon's the most math-
ematical government Because it is estab-
llshed on trigger-nometry. Hlo /
A JUVENILE SpEEcH.-Law, Mr.. Smith.
what makes your hair SD red? Mas cot
some stuff that turns hers such jolly black.
BUcHANAN's appointment of Howell Cobb
as Secretary of the Treasury is said to be
but new mode of acknowledging the
corn"
Is the King of Japan colored gentleman?
certainly. Who has not seen his escntch-
con and title in the store windows, "War-
ranted Japan Black King 2" p .-.a' -o O. /
. PoLYGAMY is allowed in New Zealand but
the head wife is the only one who is allowed
to Commit suicide when the husband dies.
The other wives are denied this privilege.
THIsTLEs. though noxious things in them
selves, are usually signs of an excellent
ground whereon they grow so bashfnlness,
though it be weakness and betrayer of the
mind, is yet generally an argument of soul
ingeniously and vlrtuously inclined. a
"Harry," said a young lady on the seat
before us at the theatre, last night, show
should like to be an actress" "An actress.
Henrietta; why?" "Oh it must be 80 nice
to be made love to in such pretty words er-
cry evening""
MANY women are beloved without know
ingi but more women think they are be-.
loved when they are not. They generally
discover their mistake after marriage.
A REAsoNABIE misunderstanding world
older than 1t used to be? 2" said young
hopeful to his senior. eyes my son." "Then
what do folks mean by old times ?'
AND though we hope for better life, E.
ternal happiness, yet we cannot compose
ourselves to die the remembrance of it is
most grevious unto us, especially to such as
are fortunate and rich they start at the
name of death, as a horse at rotten post.
-Bmton's Amotomy of Melancholy.
A HOME THRUsr-A pedagogue, pro.
voked at the dullness OF pupil, instead of
coaxing hila along. boxed his ears, and de-
manded of him how long q man could live
without brains. The boy meekly replied,
II don't know how long have you lived
yourself, sir 2"
The weekly Minnesotian. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. Territory) 1852-1858, 1857-06-20
AsCAprrAL story is told in the Yarmouth

y ACAPITAL story IS told IN the Yarmouth
Register, of grave divine on the Cape, not
long sine, who awoke from a comfortable
nap in his chair, and discovered his amiable
helpneet in the performance Of an act for
which, Gov. Marcy once made charge of
fifty cents to the State-in other words
mendng his pantaloons. Inspired with
love Of fun which seldom affected him, he
inquired" Why are you, my dear, like the
evil adversary spoken Of in Scripture" OF
course she was unable to discover any re-
semhlance. g Because" sal he, "while the
husbdadman slept, you soiped the tares :" The
reverend eentleman's unfortunate predilec-
ton ior jncularity is kept profound secret
from bis parish. e. III .,.,..
The weekly Minnesotian. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. Territory) 1852-1858, 1857-06-20

NEXT TIME-Our friends at Red Wing
had good time on Thursday evening in
their rejoicing over the success of the Re-
publican ticket in the Fourth District. The
Democrats are mad and swear some. They
say that "next time" they wont be 'cleaned
out" Well, we think they will.
The weekly Minnesotian. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. Territory) 1852-1858, 1857-06-20

TRUE INDEPENDENT SENTIMENTs.-A gen.
tleman in Missouri write to an office holder
in Washington letter, the perusal of which
may be of service to office-seekers
The time that you pass in office at Wash
ington is lost to you. You are the slave of
hours; the machine to execute certain por-
tions Of the unvarying routine of govern
ment. No new ideas come to you. Your
genius is cramped; your energies arc en-
chained, and you make no progression either
IN self-elevation or general usefulness.
After an interval of years you will only
have accumulated regrets for misappliance
Of your powers of thought and action. or
have lost all pride of independence, and fall
en- into an insane indifference.
l would prefer that my sons should 60 in
to the wilderness with no instrument but the
axe; no resources but vigorous arm, than
that they should accept the best saiaried
oficc in Washington.
The weekly Minnesotian. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. Territory) 1852-1858, 1857-06-20

The sporting men of New York have long
been in the. habit of training and comparing
their horses on the Union Course, each Sum
day, and last Sabbath while this "sport I"
was going on, two very valuable trotters came
into collision, occasioning the instant death
Of one worth $500, some severe bruises to
the other, worth twice as much, and person
'atinjuries to both the drivers. The dead
and wounded horses were dragged off, and
the sport was continued as if nothing had
happened. ~
The weekly Minnesotian. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. Territory) 1852-1858, 1857-06-20
The Bu,stin, Of Ghengis khan.

Pensacola (West Florida) Times is the
greatest periodical adoat. Punch is bun
gler in comparison. Vide the following in
PRODUCTION to homespun poem by the
editor: '.'' 7" ''-'
1t is related that box Of seidlitz powders
was once taken by the khan of Tartary,
from an English traveller, who was obliged
to give directions for the use of his plunder-
ed property, which, unfortunately, was obey
ed to the letter. One day his Tartanic mai
csty thought he would test the refreshing
qualities of this noble beverage, for his taste
had wearied of his native sherbets, cooled
with snow from the glacier-capped noun
tain peaks of Central Asia Accordingly.
by special firman, he signifed his i'm periai
desire for strange drink Of the Glaour, and
the box of seid!itz powders was brought
from the treasury, and the preparation of
the draught confided to the grand mixer of
the royal sherbets. This functionary of
most skillful accomplishment in the com.
pound of simples or of chemicals, dissolved
the contents of the twelve blue papers in one
goblet of jeweled gold, and those of the
twelve white papers in another, and after
proclaiming to the courtiers to veil their
faces for the Son of the Prophet wrs about
to drink, upon his knees, with averted face,
the grand mixer presented the two doses to
his monarch, who drank first the one and
Immediately the other. An efferesence al
once ensued in the imperial stomach, which
disseminated his annointed person through
ont the realm in fragments more infinitesi-
NAL than the particles of sweet odor from
the musk-pouch of the small deer of Thibet.
This tragic event is supposed to be COM
memorated in the gorgeous versifcation of
an oriental contemporary of Haffz, the Per
sian king OF song, in poem where fact, no
menclature, photography. topography, aud
chronology yield readily to the exegencies
of verse.
Unfortunately, we have not room for the
entire "poem," but our readers will see in
the following stanzas, which pescribes the
grand catastrophe ample evidence of the
power of the poet and the prescription
III Twas in that hour, the strange Glsour,
And his powders recolected,
And he had them mixed, and properly fixed,
And drank them directed;
The akali, with many sigh,
Adown his throat he poured,
And the acid next his taste perplexed,
Until he almost roSrd.
He reared in fact, when in contact,
The powders came within
And GHENsIS KHAN at once began
Ts see he'd been stock in -
Amoment more, and the powders tore
From out their narrow bound
And the KHAN exploded like khanon loaded,
But with more dreadful sound
His head flew high, towards the sky.
His LIMBS were scattered round i?
And his body, sent like . rocket, went
Where IL never could be found
So died the KHAN of Ispahan-
Death strangely came to his release,
And his epitaph to long by half
"lie died in Pieces"--not Ia peacel
The weekly Minnesotian. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. Territory) 1852-1858, 1857-06-20

The GOyernment Road to the Pac1hc.
Itis generally known that bill passed
the last Congress providing for the construc-
ton Of an e.nisrant or wagon road from Fort
Ridgely in Minnesota, by the "'ay Of Mobiles
Pass to the Pacific. Superintendents and
engineers were long since appointed to con-
struct that portion oft in their own divisions,
and the people of the United States are un-
der the impression that corps of engineers
and laborers have been at work for the last
month in the prosecution of the purposes de-
signed by the act of Congress. ai
But what is the fact ? The construction
Of the Eastern Division, which was to have
been undert ken when the grass was at
sufficient heighth for forage, has not yet been
commenced, and to all appearances Col.
MOBILES, the Superintendent, is as far from
accomplishing anything in the line of his du-
ty as he was month since. Col. N. arrived
here about six weeks ago, and soon succeed
ed in organizing an able-bodied company OF
sixty or seventy men to accomplish the con
struction of the Eastern Division of the road,
Teams, wagons, supplies, and all the necessa-
ry outfit were soon obtained; and the COM
pany has been encamped in the neighbor-
hood of Fort Smelling nearly a month, ex-
pecting each day to receive orders to COM
mence the prosecution of their labors. But
day after day has passed, and the officers and
men of the expedition are running aboutthe
streets or lying listlessly in camp.
Now, what is the reason of all this, the
people will naturally ask; what is the rea-
son. we have asked score of times. and
until within a few days have received no
satisfactory answer. We recently learned
from an officer of the expedition that Col.
NJ, since he left Washington has not receiv-
ed dollar from Government to prosecute
the work for which he was appointed. The
Department could not intrust the Colonel
with the necessary fund for the prosecution
of his work, but must pension off some po-
litical hack as disbursing agent. This may
be we'll enough, but unnecessary. This dis
bursting agent never arrived till few days
ago, and when he did come he brought no
funds.
Why has the Hon. Jacob Thompson, Sec
retary of the Interior, sent man to pay
the expenses of the expedition without pro-
viiing the means? Is this the method that
Southern fire-eater of Secretary uader-
takes to defeat measure of Congress, be-
cause the benefit likely to result therefrom
will enure to the North? Speak out, gen
tlenen, and let us know.
Col. Mobiles, as we stated before has raj
sed the company and the supplies on
his own responsibility, and not dollar has
been expended by the Government. He is
personally liable for everything. Was ever
an officer Of the Department before treated
so shabbily? Look to it Mr. Buchanan, and
let us know whether among all tbs other
sins which are chargeable to your a1minis-
tration, We have got to add another for gross
and we fear wilful derelictiOn of duty on
the part of one of your Cabinet officers.
The weekly Minnesotian. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. Territory) 1852-1858, 1857-06-20

A New EDITOR IN ST.. PErER.-We
were yesterday waited upon by Mr. Foss,
recently of Dover, N. H., who is to have
charge of the St. Peter Courier. We COM
mend to the good will Of the Democracy of
the Minnesota Valley, and-that's all.
The weekly Minnesotian. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. Territory) 1852-1858, 1857-06-20

Republicans in the left hand column. We
do no. give the scattering vote at length.
When the canvassers come to the ST. An
thony retrrns, there was hesitation, and pro-
tracted deliberation as to the proper manner
of determining to whom the certificate Of
election shall legally be given. As we stated
last week, the returns show that the repub-
licans voted for two delegates from the
Council District" and four ''Delegates from
the Representative District 5" while the 9th
er party voted for six "Delegates to the
Constitutional Convention" without dlstin-
gushing them as foI either District. Know
ing that perplexing question must arise,
the Register of Deeds had that day applied
to the District Attorney, who by the law is
required to give him legal counsel, for an
"oplnion" in the case. The application and
reply are here given as follows:
OFFICE OF REGISTER DEEDS
Hennepin County, NJ. T.
G. A. NcrRsE, ESQ.,, DIsr: ArroRSEr-sIR:-I wish
to ash Your opinion, officer of the County, the
following poiht.
II from the Precinct OF st. Aniheny, forming C9un-
Gil District and Representative District identical in
boundaries sets of candidates returned to
havi: been voted for Delegates to the Constitu
ona Convention, the first set having been distinguish
ed on the ballots and in the returns either Delegates
"from the Council District" or Delegates " from the
Representative District and the other set having been
voted for without any such Distinction the last set
cevipg in whole in part a majority of votes, to
whom, in your opinion, does certificate Of election
belong?
respectfully refer you to the Statute directing the
oaScis} esnysss, to the Congressional Enabling Act
der which this eeSn held, and to act passed at
the recent Special Session o. or ega Legislature, the
returned with your repy.
c. G. HMEs,
The weekly Minnesotian. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. Territory) 1852-1858, 1857-06-20
Our Police.

A petition is now being circulated by some
of our most influential citizens, to ask the
reinstatement OF Capt. Gooding to the Police
force, and the increase of the department to
its former figure. We hope all will sign it,;
though, from the way names were going
down yesterday, a suggestion of this kind
seems to be unnecessary. There appears to
be determination on the part of the citi
zens of St. Paul, to rebuke any attempts to
trfle with the safety and protection of the
city from crime and lawlessness. We do
not think this refers SO much to the number
Of the guardians of law and order, as to the
character. We know all our citizens will
protest with determination that will en-
sure success, against the appointing of men
on the Police force, of evident incapacity
and unftness. These are things that all feel
an interest in, no matter Of what party. And
the attempt to smuggle men into the depart
,nent of particular class, or nation to Sc
cure the influence and aid OF their country
men, is worthy of severest condemnation
The fact that other worthier men were re-
moved at the same time-men acquainted
with their duties, and well known to be
trustworthy. excites suspicion which can
not be easily allayed. We see no reason
why men cannot be found to serve on the
force, of intelligence sobriety, and influence.
Were such only, employed, who would at
tend to their duties, our city would be a
model place, indeed. But as long as men Of
that class and nationality are employed
which units them for influence and decision,
among the people, the sum of whose duties
is to carry around big cane. run their faces
at every bar-room for bad whiskey, and oc
casOnally make brave descent on help
less drunken man, men of quarrelsome,
trifling, unstable, low, igncrant dispositions
no W nder criminals 60 uncaught, crime
increases, our city gets the name abroad Of
being good refuge for all manner of swell
gentry, and our citizens lose heart.
Already country papers enumerate over
reports of all the crime and vice in this city,
and gloat over this state of things which
we vainly lament. Cannot something be
done to stop it2 Let men be employed on
the Police force who can command respect
in the discharge Of their duties; whose
conduct is above ridicule, and we know a
fo - diNoronf ctofa Of affairs uyill cnOn cOm-
mence. We have some good and true men
on the police force Of our city. Let such
alone be employed, and the incompetent, the
dissolute. and the insolent removed. Then
our citizens will feel secure crime will be
of less frequent occurrence, and we can thus
obhge those abroad who have an interest in
thus magnifying our faults, to give us credit
for having removed the causes.