Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1857-10-19
THE PATENT UMBRELLA.

dOoD FOR RAINY DAY.-0ur friend Beard
Of Cincinnati, the artist, has invented plan to
sop that most lncOnvenient and unpunishable
cnme-umbrella theft; which we intend to
make gublic, at the risk of violating the patent
laws. We will tell the story as he related it.
- had just bought n fine silk umbrella and
started for the Burnett House on a rainy day
when began to reflect upon my extravaganza,
and to wonder, as L tripped along proudly
under It's broad and safe cover whether or not
1t would go the way Of all umbrellas, and leave
me to the pitiless peltings of the storm before
the day was over. True, could keep it On nv
hand; but then | was occasionally 80 absent
minded that would be just as apt to set it
down In public 5ar-rOOm, or oven to have 1t
taken quietly out Of my hand by some adroit
cher0Lter II tndHstrte. | felt concerned Sud-
denly an idea occurred. | stepped into n hard
ware store and purchased a small paddock On
arriving at the hotel L closed my umbrella,
slipped the lock on to the wire spring which
keeps it shut, and deposited ii with perfect con-
fidence in the public rack. / was not long wait
ing for customer. A splendid looking fellow,
with goatee and mustaehe, (yOu see hi. like
ness as Augustus TOmlinson when my picture
OF Paul Clifford is exhibited stepped up with
the most perfect nonchdtance and took mn
identical umbrella. | quietly sauntered to-
wards the door, giving a casual glance at the
weather; my hero endeavored. to spread tho
sheltering silk; but alas, it was no go-agan ,
Still worse. What the deuce was the matter
lie looked-saw the trap, and the fall in his
countenance was exactly that step from the
sublime to the ridiculous 1 had 80 often heard
OF but never seen before.
My umbrella was quietly deposited in its
place, and my gentleman meekly sauntered to-
W ards the reading room, and K pped out Of an
other door umbrellaless
l was by no means satisfied with one experi-
mcnt. In little while saw one Of the most
brazen appropriations of small things The was
especially hard on lunches and drinks-free) in
all Cincinnati
Now" said I, al is my chance
This customer had an article in his hand
which might In courtesy be styled the 80 ghost
Of an umbrella" and cotton at that With n
grandiloquent air he deposited it right along
side of mine, and went to the bar. There he
picked Hp treat (t was election time,) and
eat crackers and cheese enormously. Thence
to the reading room, with my eye still on him,
and in less than a minute, with shrug, and
buttOning up his coat an extra button, he
passed in a rapid business manner to the door,
picking up my umbrella, with scarcely glance,
rs he went along. L was on hand. With a
sudden movement he attempts to raise it; no
go, Again still failure. With n decision
perfectly NapoleOnic, and worthy of the occa-
sion, he was about to tear away the slight OBJ
struction, when | stepped up and said
" Don't do that IN iend yom tie key ,"
!" All Mr.. Beard. IIa! ha, Strange mis-
take-thought it was my own; good device !;
devilish good Think I'll adopt it."
And with the most perfect ease he put my
umbrella down, took his own, and pamosed
| was satisfied. L had found out how to keen
an umbrella, and now l am on my way To
Washington to get patent for it.