The Placer herald., 1857-10-31
Dressing Before the Girls.

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The Philadelphia Sunday Transcript is
responsible for the following rather" hard
story:
The other day an up-river young 'un, who
is about to forsake father and mother and
cleave unto Nancy Ann, came down to view
the city, and get his new suit-and, as a
matter Of course, found his way into one of
the large clothing stores which abound in
Market street. He did not swagger in with
that easy don't care air Of town bred
searcher of cheap clothing for the verdant
tint was tolersbly fresh on him yet, and he
stopped and knocked at the door. He was
at once admitted, and became perfectly be-
wildered with the cordial reception he met
with. The proprietor was ready to forward
him "suit' at once, if he saw fit, or they
would take his measure and furnish him to
order. Nehemiah, running his large grey
eyes over the "piles" of coats, vests and
trowsers that lined each side and centre of
the store, lit on nice blue coat, a vest Of
green, and lengthy pair of pantaloons
real blazers, with wide yellow stripes running
each way. He snaked them out in q twink
ling. He was particularly delighted with
the trowsers-they were long, yellow Just
the thing, and proceeded at once to put them
on. The store had corner curtained off
for the purpose, aud Nehemiah was speedily
therein.
The panta had straps and the straps were
buttoned. Now, Nehemiah had seen straps
before, but the art of managing them was a
mystery. On consideration, he decided that
the boots must 90 on first He then mount.
ed chair, elevated his pants at q proper
angle, and endeavored to coax his legs into
them. He had time of it. His boots
were none of the smallest, and the pants
were none of the widest, but bending his
energy to the task, he succeeded in Inducing
one leg into the "pesky things" He was
sraddled like the Colossus of Rhodes, and
just in the act CT raising the other foot,
when whispering and gigglng in his imme-
dia,e vicinity made him alive to the appalling
fact that nothing but chintz curtain sepa-
rated him from twenty to thirty of the pret-
tiest and wickedest girls that were ever Gagged
in one shop.
Nehemiah was bashful YOUTH aud would
rather make u circumbendbus Of mile any
day, than meet those girls, oven if he had
teen in full dress; as it was. his mouth was
much ajar at the bare possibility of making
his appearance among them in his present
dishabile. What # there was a hole in the
curtain? What if he should fall9 1t would
not bear thinking Of and punging the foot
into the vacant leg with a sort of frantic
ooseness, he brought on the very ratas,ro-
phe he was so anxious to avoid. The chair
collapsed with sudden scrouch, pitching
Nehemiah heels over head through the cur
tain; he made grand entrance among the
stitching dvinites. on all fours, like a fetter
ed rhinoceros. Perhaps Keller and his
troupe never exhibited a more striking tod.
leou vivomt than was here displayed Nehe-
miah was q perfect model" every inch OF
him, and although not exactly revolving on
a pedestal, he was going through that move
ment on his back-kicking, plpnging, in
short, personifying in thirty seconds al! the
attitudes ever chiseled. AS for the girls
they scampered, of course, jumped upon
chairs and cutting boards, threw their hands
over their faces, peeped through their fingers
screamed again and declared they should
die-they knew they should!
ooh, Lori" bawled the distressed young
man; don't gals don't! didn't mean tew,
swar tew man didn'nt--it's all owing to
the cussed trowsers, every mite ont, ask your
boss, he will tell you how it was. Oh, Lor!
won't nobody cover me up. Oh, Moses,
what will Nancy say?"
lie managed to raise himself on his feet,
and made bold plunge toward the door,
but the entangled alliance tripped him up
again, and he fell karslap upon the goose
of the pressman. This was the "unkindest
cut of ALL" The gouse had been heated ex-
pressly for thick seams, and the way it hissed
tho seat of his new "trowsers," was affecting
to the wearer. Nehemiah riz in an instant,
and seizing the source of all his troubles by
the slack, he tore himself from all save the
straps, and some fragments that hung about
the ankles, and dashed through the store at
a twoforty rate, and made tracks for homo.