The independent. (Harrisonburg, La.) 1853-18??, 1857-10-28

marriage, so far as it concerns the softer sex,
for every year at which marriage is entered
upon before the age of twenty-one, there
will be, on an average, three years Of prema-
ture decay, more or less apparent, OF the
corporal fabric.
WARs1NG TO WINE BIDDERs.-Before
YOU buy "Port from the Wood" endeavor,. if
possible, to ascertain that the wood whence
the wine is derived is not logwood.-Punch.
CO A lady, walking few days since on
one of the wharves of New York, asked a
sailor whom she met, why ship was called
"she." The son Of Neptune replied, that it
was "because the rigging cost more than the
hull"
Er An office seekerin urging his claims
said that his grandfather didn't fight in the
revolutionary war, but he guessed he would
have liked to, if he had been in the country
at the time. He was appointed.
re- To carry a Collins steamship from
. New York to Liverpool requires eight hum
bred tons of coal-enough to lastssan ordi-
nary family forty years.
re- Flints may be melted-we see it
daily-but an ungrateful heartcannot; no,
not by the strongest and mob lestfame.
EF At what time of life may ! man be
said to belong to the vegetable kingdoms-
When long experience has made him sage"
re- A minister approachinga mischiev-
Gus urchin, about twelve years old, and lay
ed his hand upon his shoulder, thus addressed
him; "My son, believe the devil has hold
of you" II believe so, two" wastAe sig
nifcant reply Of the urchin.
w- Some crusty, musty, dusty, gusty,
curmudgeon of a bachelor, gave the follow
ing as toast at celebration:
''Our fire engines-may they be like our
cid maids-ever ready but never wanted"
EE Elderbery leaves laid upon the shelves
ola safe or cupboard will drive away ants
and reaches.
re- "Do you profess religions" mo
sir, profess my faith, and practice my relig-
ion." Reader, 60 thou and do likewise.
EE- The lady who "stood on her dig
nifty" came very near losing her balance.
Ew The false impression that went
abroad, returned in the last steamer.
PREcoc1ous.-Little Sis-"Oh, Bobby,
I'm goin' to have a hoped dress, an oys-
ter shell bonnet, pair Of ear drops, and a
baby!"
Little Bob-"The thunder you is! Well,
Pm goin' to have pair Of tight pants, 4
Shanghai coat, shaved head, crooked cane
and pistol"
ET. An elderly lady says it always re-
minds her of carrying Goals to Newcastle,
when she sees girls kissing each other
, Sensible.
In one Of the Courts lately there was a
long and learned discussion as to whether wit
ness should be allowed to answer the question,
"What did Mary say?' Three judges gave long
and elaborate opinions in the affirmative, and the
question being repeated, the answer was, mot a
word"
An Irishman attending Quaker meeting
heard a young Friend make the following
announcement: Brethren and Sisters, am
going to marry daughter of the Lord. :"
The devil ye are" said Pat, "Fath an be
jabbers, an it will be long time before
you'll see yer father-in-law 7"
HOTEL SCENE.-"Landlord, come here I
have got secret that will make your fortune
for you!
"No-what is it?'
"Do you see that goose at the head Of the
table q"
"Yes-what of it,"
"That is the very one, which by cackling,
saved Rome. Come along, and will show
YOU where the centurion trod on him."
Scene closed with slamed door.-N. Y.
Sum
ACoSuSpRux.--The following appeared
few days ago in the Charleston Courier:
why's D like marriage =" asked the maid
Whose troth to me is plighted
blushed in sooth and hung my head,
While she seemed quite delighted.
TIE ANSWER.
"Come, answer me-" continued she,
Sand don't be long about it;
You stupid fellow can't you see,
We can't be srcd without it,"
A Regular Partington.-The stories they
tell Of this venerable dame are not so ex.rav-
agant after all. Witness the following an-
ecdote: Some gentlemen were admiring
\the fine armament of one of our national
Ateam frigates. lying in not far distant port
I be other day, when ono of them asked how
ell were fred from the guns. To this
= estion another of those present thus sue
IL tly replied, and in sober earnest .Why.
eee. the ssheNi is detected from the can
and peTetfates the side OK the enenybl
81 Ind there it exploaes - Il