Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1857-06-15
c H. LEY,S MIsFOR TUNES.
Or, How HIS Hat Troubled Him.
BY HAZEL apppU yso

BY HAZEL GREEN, ESQ.
When was young lad, Just beginning 70
tnink about the girls" said Charley, "I was
monstrous piOus, and went to meetIn, every
sunday put have since come to the conclu-
sion that 1t was not as much for the concern !
Ieit ior the good of my soul" as it was for the
sake OF gazing about the room, and thinking to
mysen winch girl was the prettiest, and which
one would rather marry.
Well, one day 1 singled out a girl who I
thought ecipsed all creation for beauty; in fact.
l was soon head-over-heels in love with her.
But few minutes suficed for me to form a
resolution to see her home, pop the question,
and, II possible, to strike bargain immedi.
ately. L was all in tremble. The sermon
seemed week long, and very uninteresting.
Many, no doubt, were praying for their neigh
bOrs. and their neighbors' children, but with
me it was quite diferent-I was praying for the
meeting to break.
AT length the meeting did break, and broke
with it-for my hat; but, to my surprise and
modification, could not find il until after the
object OF my affections had gotten so far the start
OF me, that 1t would have required quite an eff
fort to have Overtaken her. Besides there was
another consideration-my hat had been under
foot and was 20 badly soiled, that was rather
ashamed to be seen with ii on. Taking all
these things into consideration, / resolved to
wait for the next opportunity.
From that time L was a changed chap l
could think Of nothing but the girl had seen
at meeting, except it was that of persuading the
governor to buy me new suit of Sunday
clothes. The old lady sided with me in this last
particular. and between US both, we succeeded
In carrying our points. / was rigged out in
style-clOth coat. satin vest, cashmere pants
and to crown all beaver that cost five dOllars
This will fix things, thought l - could [
but see her now, might set her down as mine -
In fnNn .
at II mon meeting house, and |, with my new
ixings. wended my wuy thither; not, however
until my mother had given me much good ad-
vice concerning the management Of my new rig
ging-mOre particularly the head, as had but
short time before, got my old one crushed up
at meeting.
had not been in the Westinghouse long, be-
fore her whom L most anxiOusly expected, came
In and from thence until the services were con-
cluded. was in sea of trouble, lest some fell
low should cut me out or something Of the kind.
As soon as the congregation was dismissed,
''yOked her" and of we started When we
reached her home the sun was just setting and
SO, to be mannerly, her old dad asked me to
''stay all night" had no objections, and af
ter supper was over, told Betty flor that was
the girls name,) that I'd like to chat with her
little more. She had no objections. but said
we must go to the kitchen as the old folks didn'
like 10 be disturbed by a light in the "big
room, " when they were to bed. To all this I
consented OF course, and so we were soon on the
very best Of terms l should have been ex-
tremely happy, but for one cause.-The stamp of
plenty, in the form Of grease, was abundantly
impressed upon everything in the room, ex-
cepung the chairs upon which We sat- and con-
sequently L was much troubled about nv new
hat. What should L do with it, | did not
want to have grease upon it-no, that would
never do. Finally, resolved TO keep it on my
head, judging that to be the safest place Be.
ing thus relieved of my greatest embarrass-
ment, went about the work of cOurting in real
earnest.
After many fine things had been said, and
marriage contract had been partially entered
into, proposed kiss. You may be sure she
refused, but | insisted-a Scufle ensued, which
lasted until she was completely exhausted.
Being unable to hold out longer, she turned up
her pretty lips and said If you must kiss
me-here, but don't you ever undertake such
thing again-yOu brute"
stopped over to perform the operation, when
all OF sudden, felt an unusual lightness
about my head. Before / had time to think
whether was going to faint or not, heard a
kind OF splashing about my feet, and casting
my eyes downward, l saw-great Heavens!
what did l see There lay my fve-dolIar bea-
yer, completely immersed in filthy compound
OF dlsh-water, cucumber peals, . tater" skins
and the Lord knows what besides, that had been
accumulated in a tub, under the fascinating
cOgnomen Of "swill.'
This was predicament for you-what should
do If Betty had observed it the matter
would not have been so bad but she had not !;
could L tell her No Heaven forbid, At
first L thought of lifting it out, but imagining
the spectacle it would present, my courage
failed me. But then, reasoned L, ''she will
be sure to see it ere long, and then how she
will blush. Already she is looking ut me, as if
she i. wondering why don't kiss her-perhaps
L had better not stay any longer - and suiting
the action to the word, made leap for the
door, and was off like a comet. From thence
all was darkness, all was confusion, until /
found myself at hOme-barehe eheaded-receivi
a raking fire from the old man and the old wo-
man at the came time. This is bad enough to
think of, but it is not the worst There is one
thing that now rings in my ears, and will con-
tinue TO do 50 as long as L live-it is the last
words OF Betty. Poor thing, supposng that
had taken offence at her resistance she called
after me as shot out the door
''Oh, Charley, come back was only in fun;
come back, do. Oh Charley