Glasgow weekly times. (Glasgow, Mo.) 1848-1861, 1857-08-06

EsB Yearly auVeTuSeTs dTe TestTlCteu tOkHelE
legitimate business. Other advertisements will
be charged at regular rates.
GT-No charge for inserting deaths, but fifty
cents per square will be charged for obituary
notices-to he paid in advance.
G7r The charge for marriage notices is left to
the Bridegroom, and will be acknowledged in the
paper.
Where editorial notice of advertisements
s requested, it willb given and charged for.
~~>~~~~-~~s-~e>~-~~-~~~~ ~~~-~~~~~-~-~~~-~~
PARTHIAN ARROWS,
Not launched in time, 10 make their mark,
an the first emission Of Censoria Lictoria,
revised and enlarged. .-.,,.5
"poN'T KNOW WHAT 1T ALL MEANS"
WELL, it really is deplorable, the way
people do misapply their relative pronouns.
There, for instance, all common candor, If
not good syntax, required the use Of who
instead of what. But where, in the name
Of of"gumption, have you been munmyizing,
all this time, my dear Casper Hauser, num-
ber two, never to have heard before, how
unblushingly, public and private Secretaries
proclaim their own iniamy, Contrary to
Law and Statute, which require no man to
terminate himself,) by publishing, stolen
Ncopies of papers TO which they have access
but no right; nor of other "individuals,"
"vexatiously and ipjuriously," det lining
documents in transauylike ]. w. w., for
example, until forcedto give them up by
legal process.
Old Rip Van Wrinkle must have been
small circumstance, if you, Mn. FREE-AND-
ENLIGHTENED, have got 10 be told, now, in
this last half Of the nineteenth century, that
those four daughters Of old Mrs. Leach, who
were e,ernally crying "crvE, GIVE" are
so far outdone by gaunt, hungry pack of
wolves, called Authors and Inventors, that
the poor. be- -plundered Publishers, s,and Cap
italists have to commit petit Larceny, on o
grand scale, and infringe Copy, and Patent
Rights, whenever they can, TO indemnify
themselves, for the inhuman extortions made
in their name, by some of the gang, who i'm
pudently insist, on putting at least the jack
ais share, of their own brains, in their own
pockets, "any how" And not only that,
but actually have to cease considering "mur-
der, es one Of the FINE ARTS" and degrade
"Indrect Assass snation," into mere coarse,
everyday incidental, to the High Art, Of
"How NOT TO DO IT." And dear, dear, what
time of it, some of them do have, to make
some Of the rapaeious, idle ilk, earn their
own monuments, then lie down peaceably
ard have ga tomb of printers ink wept o 'er
them;" and what pity they do sometimes
happen to overdo the matter little. tt
I'D There's one one set Of them, and certain,
regular, old hard case, leading, 10 my GER
tain knowledge, such dance between the
two, that Mrs. Grundy, Mr.. World and his
wife, and .'all the rest of mankind" stand a
pretty fair chance to get all the remarkable
ties of that epitaph, ''learned and oonned by
rote," long before they get chance to re-
cord it, (the more's the pitty,) but them
"Before one does engage foe, It's well he
should his strength and courage Know
A woman, is not of course, expected to be
"a reasoning ANIMAL" but all men ought tc
be, and are, by virtue of the toga, aud they
might have known better than to expect
anybody with "LAwRNEcE j." for a patro.
nymic, ever to "giue up The ship" at any
body's summons, SO long as there was a sin.
gle spar afoat, TO go down with, though al
the lead and antimony* Of the country were
drawn up IN grand file-ready, willing and
waiting-to bury the laurelled dead, will
oil the honors.
Celebrities Of some kinds, though, dom
have to die, bona fde, before they can get al
Obituary. There's the amiable, and distn
guished ABsALoM BEss, now; hundreds up
on hundreds all over the country, can testi
fly to having seen him alive and well, diver
of times since the Charleston Mercury pro
nounced his eulogy some four years ago
and much in this wise, SIS:
"Oh an excellent man was Absalom Bess,
At each and every tale Of distress,
He Jared right up, like rocket;
He felt for all who meath poverty's dart
We're doomed to beai life's roughest part,
He felt for them in his inmost heart,
. But he never felt in his pocket.
Yet all said, he was an excellent man,
For the poor he'd preach, for the poor he'd pla
To better them, he was willing;
But the Oldest man who had heard him pray,
And preach for the poor, in pitful way,
Couldn't remember exactly to say,
He had ever gipen a shilling