Delaware weekly Republican. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1841-188?, 1857-03-19
HUMOROUS,

The ladies-May their virtues exceed even
the magnitude Of their skirts, and their faults
be still smaller than their bonDets.
Leigh Hunt was asked by lady, at dessert,
If he would not venture on an orange. ''Mad-
am, ! should he happy to doso, but am afraid
l should tumble off,"
Life, we are told, is a journey; and to see
the way in which some people eat, you would
imagine they were taking in provisions to last
item all the way.
young lady (ofthe age of ix-and-thirty)
declared, the other day, in strictest confidence
to her maid-servant that she icoald sooner dye
taad LEI siagie gray hair shoD itself.
81 have lost my appetite,'' said q gigantic
Irish gentleman, and an eminent performer on
the trencher, TO Mark Supple. 81 hope" said
Supple, ''Ho poor man has found it, for it
would ruin him in week.
The Albany Express has the following adver-
tisement: sWanted, an able-bodied Irishman
to keep his wife's tongue-she and 1 being
unable to keepit quiet. Constant employment
given"
s'zouuds fellow p exclaimed a choeric old
gentleman to very phlegmatic matter-oi-fact
person, 81 shall go out of my wits" swell,
you wont have iar to go" said the phegna-
tic man.
A Yankee proposes to build an establish
end, and have it come out at the other four
quarters OF mutton, felt hat, al pair of drawers,
a leather apron, and quarto dictionary.
Goop.-.Fathcr, what does a printer live
oni
'swhy, child l''
'.Because you said you hadn't paid him for
three years and still take the paper.''
''Wiie, spank the child"
TAXING IT LITER ERALLY.-A boy who was sent
to know how an old lady, named Wilkins, was
IL heaith, delivered his message thus
''Pleasc man, iAssus wants to know how old
Mrs. Wilkins is ~
TO which she replied,- "She is just seventy
four"
''AIay leave few tractsl" asked medical
missionary of lady, who responded to his
knock.
''Leave some tracks-certanly you may
said siIc looking at him most benignly over her
specks; ''Leaye them with the heel towards
the house, ifyou please"
milkman, serving a customer, surprised
him by emptying frog into the basin.
"What's this you're giving me a' exclaimed
the favored individual.
The unlucky vender protested that the frog
was not put into the can by him.
''Then," was the bitter reply, elf he Jumped
in himself, he must have mistaken it for
Dond.'
'ON FLArTERY INTENT. ."-Ata grand ball in
Paris, lately, fashionable lady, who had gone
% the utmost in her extent of criRoline, was
alking gayly to her friend, General who
10 distinguished himself in the war with Rus
Tia. Asshe played with one ofthe folds of her
petticoat, she playfully inquired of
ler military friend what he thought Of her toll
lite for the evening
SsAh, Madume," he said, with sigh, sit is
moro than beautiful to me 20
GLOW Z" she asked, dropping her eyes to
conceal her pleasure at the expected compile
nent
s.It reminds me so," said tho General, ..of
he tent under which slept so soundly, in our
in this Crimea!'
This from General being rather particular
he lady pushed the analogy no further.
Mr.. Spikes proposes embarking in the exhi-
jiton business. He will pay handsomely for
he following ''living curiosities;''
A man who has become opulent by imbibng
Jad liquors at the corner groceries, and sing
ng comic songs in the street late o'night.
A man who has 'putup a stove without in
lulging in profanity.
A stump orator who can make q speech
without alluding TO the ship of State and our
Revolutionary toretathers.'
\ Washington letter writer who has ever
been guilty OF telling the truth.
young man OF 'litcrary taste who does not
strongly opinC that he could treble the circua-
ton OF every paper by taking the editorial de-
pastment nnaer his nIrn exclusive charge.
PopPING THE QuEsTIoN.-l was sitting by
the side OF Imogenc, neditating upon the best
manner of coming to the point, when she took
up an orange that lay upon the table.
'Will you have a part of this?' she asked.
l assentcd, thinking all the while more of
orange flowers than of the fruit. What she
was thinking of, cannot say. She divided the
tatNfrn int f4tsn VAnFN Il
sudden inspiration came upon me.
'Oh, lmoSenoH said /, i wish you would
serve me as you have this orange.
'What do yon meanP she asked nnocenty.
'Why, You have haiecd the orange now won't
'Ou here me !"
l am little oblvious as to what followed
or the next few minutes only remember
hat somehow found my moustache in contact
With her lips. g are to be married in 0cto-
'er. You will receive cards.
ExrRAoRDINARY.-ssAh! Mr.. C, when
lid you return from ROckaway ?"
s'Just arrived, sir.''
"Any news I"
sNone Of mportance-capght shark to-
day.''
''Ah l,o+S-long was it 70
''Twenty five feet, sr.''
chow much did il weighPn
NElevcn tons and half.h
By this time the listeners crowded around c.,
but not Il smile was TO be seenupon his counte-
nance, or anything else to denote that he was
eling aught but the truth.
SPY the way, MAYOR" continued C-"l
lave forgot to tell you how We found the
New York Brass Band. You recolect when [
,ame up last week told you they took their in
with them, and went out in sail
Ioat. The boat was seen TO capsizc, and they
we're supposed to be lost; but when we opened
he shark we caught to-day, we found them all