Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1857-04-02


was getting to be an old fool, and he wa
goin' to have him married, or dismissed from
ofice-there warn't no livin' with-him."
There were great many anxious mother
about Puddleford, who were very desirous o
forming an alliance with the Longbow fami
ly. Even Mrs. Swipes, as much as she open
ly opposed the Squire's marriage in general
secretly hoped spark might be struck uE
between him and her daughter, Mary Jane
Arabella Swipes; and Mrs Swipes was il
the habit of sending her daughter over tt
the Squire's house, to inquire of him etc
know if she couldn't do sumthin' for him in
his melancholy condition." and Sister Abigail
went several times to "put things to rights, u
and was as kind and obliging, and attentive
to all the Squire's wants, as ever Mrs. Long.
bow was in her palmiest days. On these oc,
casions, Sister Abigail used frequently to re.
mind the Squire of "his great Bereavement,
and what an angel of a wife he had lost
and that things didn't look as they used to
do, when she was around, and she didn't
wonder he took on so, when the poor thing
died"
But, reader, Ike Turtle had ordered things
otherwise. He was determined to strike up
match between the Squire and Aunt Graves.
So Ike made special visit to Aunt Graves
one evening, for the purpose of "surveying
and sounding along the coast, to see how the
waters laid, and how the old soul would take
it," to use his language.
have already given an outline of Aunt
Graves but l will now say farther, that she
never had an offer of matrimony in her whole
life She was what is termed "touchy''
old maid. She professed to hate men, and
affected great distress of mind when thrown
into their society. Aunt Graves was just
ironing down the seams of coat that she
had finished, when Ike called.
Ike opened the conversation by reminding
Aunt Graves that ssshe was livin' along kim
der lonely like"
'Lonely 'nough, s'pose," she replied,
snappishly.
"Don't you never have the blues, and get
sorter obstrep'rous?"
Aunt Graves "didn't know as she did,"
"Why, in the name of old Babylon, don't
you marry"
"Marry! NE marry-marry a mana
great, awful man !" and the iron flew through
the seams like lightning.
eyes," continued Ike, ''marry-marry a
man-why, woman, you are getting as old
and yellow as autumn leaves. What have
you been livin for?-you've broken all the
laws of Scripter inter pieces-and keep on
breakin' on 'em-adding sin unto sin, and
transgression unto transgression, and the
things got-terbe stopped. Now, Aunt Graves
what do you think-there's Squire Longbow,
as desolate as Sodom, and he's got-ter have
a woman, or the old man'll run as crazy as
loon a-thinkin' bout his household affairs !;
and you know how to cook, and to wash, and
to iron, to make pickles and soap; and then,
you'rea proper age-what say"
Aunt Graves ran to the fire, plunged her
goose into the ashes, and gave the Goals a
smart stir. She then dropped down in her
large rocking-chair, leaned her cheek upon
her elbow, fixed her eyes upon the floor, and
came near going off into Mysteries.
Ike dashed little water into Aunt Graves
face, and she revived After having gained
strength, she replied in substance to Ike's
query in very languishing, die-away air:
"She couldn't say-she didn't kDow-if it
was duty-if she could really beliere it
was duty-if she was called on to fill poor
old dead-aud-goue Mrs. Longbow's place
folks were born inter the world to do good,
and she had so far been one of the most un-
proftablest of servants; but she could never
marry on her own account"
''In other Words" exclaimed Ike, cutting
her short, "you'll go it."
Aunt Graves agreed to "refect ont"
1t was not long after this consultation that
Mrs. Swipes began to 'smell rat" as she
said. She commanded Mary Jane Arabella
"never to darken the doors of that old hog,
Longbow, agin and as for that female crit
ter, Graves, she'd got husband living down
at the Bastard, and they d all getinto prison
for life the first thing they know'd."
Sister Abigail declared "she'd have Aunt
Graves turned out of church, if she married
a man who warn't member" This was a
great deal for Sister Abigail to say, for she
had been the bosom friend of Aunt Graves;
"people out of the church and people in the
church, shouldn't orter jine themselves to-
gether-it was agin Scripter, and would get
every thing inter twist
But Ike Turtle had decreed that the mar
riagc should go on He even went so far as
to indite the first letter of the Squire's to
Aunt Graves. This letter, which Ike exhb-
tied to his friends, as one of his best literary
specimens, was indeed curiosity. l pre-
sumo there is nothing else like it on the face
of the globe. 1t opened by informing Aunt
Graves that since the GLOSS of his woman, he
had felt very grevious-like, and couldn't fix
his mind onto any thing-that the world
didn't seem at all as it used to do-that he
and his woman had liv'd in peace for thirty
years, and the marriage state was nat'ral to
him-that he had always lik'd Aunt Graves
since the very first time he seed her, and so
did his woman too;' and many more decla-
rations of similar import, and it was signed
81. Longbow, Justice of the Peace" and