New Orleans daily crescent. [volume] ([New Orleans, La.]) 1851-1866, 1857-03-02

George, III appears in little anecdote cherished
among the Moravians On one, occasion the King
Il who liked Joke said, in his dry way, Mr. Hutton
am told that you Morayians do not select your OWL
i wives but leave it to your ministers to choose fol
You Is it SO r. !" Yes, please your Majesty mar
riages among the brethren are contracted, as YOU
Majesty will perceive after the fashion Of royalty"
A destitute woman called on q certain family fol
something to eat. A few dinner remnants were pu,
in her basket, and having small bag Or pllow-slr
4 would flIit mo. ma'amn was her offended reply
III am poor enough God knows, but can't no corn
meal. When come to that, mean to starye!n 4 4
i Not long since'a youth, older in wit than years
after being catechized concerning the power Of God
replied, Ma, think there's one thing God can't do
4 '"What is it?n eagerly inquired the mother "God
can't make Bill Jones mouth any bigger without set
ting his ears back" itst5s1 ~ ID e. I. :
dyspeptio hypocondrac makes the following pite-
Gus INQUIRY :" We have great cabbages, great goose
berries, great cities, great balloons great crinone
pettcoats great bulls, pigs and calves but, tell me,
| where are our great menu" .-..-
A man being asked by bis neighbor how his wife
did, made this answer " Indeed, neghbor, this case
pitiful; my wife fears that she will die and fear
she will not-which makes disconsoate house,
An advertisement in Philadelphia paper read as
follows: :. Stolen, watch worth q hundred dollars
If the thief will return it, he shall be informed gratis
where he may steal worth two of it, and cues
tons asked" .zszsa r0A 3js5,gEg. 5il- .7'T
Stopping at village inn there came on thunder
storm, and Captain Hall, surprised that new coun
try should have reached such perfection in these
meteorologic manufactures, said to by.stander
"Why, you have very heavy thunder here..' " Well
yes replied the man, we do, considering the num-
Der of Inhabitants ~ = l.,asgl
Hear what cynic says of women "When they
are maids they are as mild as milk; once make them
wives, and they lean their backs against their mar
rage certificates and defy you.'' 7l ''s7 M
g,"Pa, do they have any cold weather up in
HeavenE " No, my son." g Then don't want to
die yet awhile u. why not ~ "'Cause could,nt
use my new skates up there, nor down in tother
place n Go to bed. sir p s,9i .J...' - Z
N, A KNIGHT OF THE GARrER-A few days since, a
young lady went into Diapers shop and asked for
pair those articles which fastened above the knee
The shopman smiled, and served her with a pair of
garters. u Iis;-oss 4a.iFrs.4.ra7rf ii f-1,05
The man who made an impression on the heart of
coquette has become skillfu stone.cutter
A brave man is one who isn't afraid to wear old
clothes until he is able to pay for new.
The most dangerous kind of bat that flies at
night is brick-bat. ..g T5
Men are not attracted by highly polished women
SO much as by truly natural and artless women
women sufficiently educated to speak and write accu
rately and sufficiently childish not to despise COM
mon things. r. ..s w. s.r b..
friend that you buy with presents may be bough
from you.
polite young lady, lineal descendant of the Nc
Sycopbant family, recently asserted that she lived
near barn yard and that it was impossible for her
to sleep in the morning account of the growing of
gentleman hem" IA MI ,0.. .#,
There is reason in all things. Some person was
asked why stood before G? Because man
must B before he can G. was the reply.
Which can smell a rat the quickest-the man who
knows the most, or the man who has the most nose
"A man cannot possess anything that is better than
a good woman, or worse than a bad one.
"Lades and gentlemen said an auctoneer
9 these articles are shamthey are genuine tapes
try carpets, made by Mr. Tapestry HIMSELF
Dining at city hotel not long since, it was my lot
to be seated next dish to an old rural gentleman.
Soon after taking his seat noticed that he took up
the beautiful silver fourpronged fork which lay by his
plate and began to eye it very closely.
After all had been served by the walters, still
noticed that my old friend kept on cycling his fork,
but did not eat. At last in loud voice, he called
out
% Look here, you, Mister" addressing the waiter,
q fetch me a fork -
With many bows and scrapes the polite waiter
pointed out the fourpronged implement lying near
his plate. ~
"Oh, thunder!" said he, g is that what YOU call
a fork? Well, well! | thought it was darnaton
green if they'd got to eating soup with split spoons,"
/ SINGULAR DEATH OF HEM young friend of
ours received day or two since, letter from per
fecty veracious and reliable correspondent in which
a marvellous story was thus told .T
The finest, largest pulet that we had yesterday,
in some mysterious way, swallowed piece of stout
string nearly two yards long, with little knot at the
end. The knotted end was formed into loon around
the roots of the tongue the other end passed down
into the gizzard and this curious and irresistible
corn mill, in its oeaseless grindings drew the tongue
put by the roots quilting at the strng) till the poor
thing was strangled by the tongue choking up the |
yullet We could not relieve her, and of course the |
difficulty was not made evident until diligent post
nortem examination brought to light the murderous
string through which the gizzard had actually pulled
he tongue away down to the windpipe.'
s That will do for a true story of a foul death.