The weekly Columbian., 1857-01-31
v ari e tt e 8.

| AN AFFLICTED 11USBAND.-A Defodv-
ed husband standing by the grave of his
deceased wife, "refused to be comforted,
said to friend as he turned towards
him and laid his head on his shoulder.
"I've lost horses, and I've lost cows, and
I've lost likely calves, and shoats, but |
never had anything to cut me like this ="
Wasn't that an afflicted mourner?
This reminds us of scene we once
witnessed IN country store in one of
the Oldest settled districts in Western
Virginia. The shop keeper was enga-
ged In waiting upon customer, when a
sturdy. country-born Dutchman came in
with whip under his arm and said:
i "Good morning, Mr.. Shones."
"Ah Good morning, Mr.. Appleback,"
said Mr.. Jones, in reply. chow do you
do, and how is your family 2"
"Well, we are all well, chust now,
except my wife, and she is dead again."
answered Appleback.
"Indeed," said Mr. Jones, 81 am very
sorry to hear it. have no doubt you
are greatly disturbed in consequence of
your l'ss, hut you must bear it with the
philosophy of christian"
"Well. yes" he replied, "dat is So
beshure don't know much about foloso-
! fy-but do know dat would sooner
haf lost one ofmy best horses dan my
wife cause she was sich teller for acor-
rick (work.)"
! WoMAN's RIGHTs.-The Buffalo Re-
public tells the following story:
A day or two since we met friend
coming out ofone of our first dry good
stores, with the most lamentable express
sion of countenance, and a most vindic-
tive frmness and determination visible
about the mouth What's up?" said
we Cup" he replied, "everything's
up. Look here,'' said he, dragging US
into store, "look here" and he pro-
duced several long strips Of paper inge-
niously tied together at their ends, COW
cred with cabalistic characters, the So
luton of which was represented by s2ls
81. ''There, said he, ''there's my wife's
account at one dry good store for three
months. My salary is just 5000. and
there's one quarter of it gone for furbe-
lows and dimity. Look here" and his
eyes showed vindictiveness, and his atti-
tude summed itself up as dangerous
"Ive friends in the Legislature-they
shall pass law to the effect that no wo-
man shall be allowed in the streets with
out written pass from her husband
If caught out without it, she shall be pla-
ced in pound and kept till called for
There!" and he went off like a whale in
his furry. We agreed with him, how
ever, in every particlar.
The Morning Gail says twenty-seven
female Celestials left San Francisco. on
Tuesday, for Sacramento. The Sacra-
mento american, in noticing their arrival
says: They expect to remain here du-
ring the winter, but we trust will be
starved out before long, as they are an
immortal pest to any community. 1t is
said they Sabe Mellican, make law Leg
islator."
In Tunis, as in many eastern countries,
fet women are only deemed beautiful
When girl is betrothed, she is cooped
up and literally fattened for the matri-
monial market till she attains the requi-
site degree of plumptitude. About two
hundred weight is considered fair aver
age but girl who can pull two hundred
and fifty on the scales is perfect Venus
My dear Amelia said dandy, L
have long wished for the opportunity, but
hardly dare speak now, for fear you will
reject me; but | love YOU say you will
be mine! Your smiles would she'd
and then he come to a pause; your
smiles would she'd and then he paus-
ed again. Never mind the wood-shed,
said Amelia, go on with your pretty
talk
II always sing to please myself" said
a gentleman, who was humming tune
in company. Then you are not at all
difficult to please" said lady, who sat
next to him.
A witty doctor says that tight lacing is
a public benefit, inasmuch as it kills all
the foolish girls, and leaves the wise ones
to grow up to be women.
Mrs. Opie said, talking of Byron, His
voice was such voice as the devil temp
ted Eve with; you feared its destinations
the moment you heard it,"
1t is not our earnings but our savings
that make US rich-as what we digest
makes us fat
| The PLANET MERCURY.-Ac correspon-
dent of the Sacramento Union, says that