The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1857-08-01
Sut Lovengood's Shirt.
BY 81 OF TENN.

BY 81 OF TENN.
The first person met was "Sut' latter
crossing the lIwasscc.) "wcavinS and move
ing along in his usual rambling uncertain
gait his appearance at once satisfied me
that something was wrong. He had been
>ick-vhppcd in L free fight, or was just
out growing one of his big drunks. But
upon this point was soon enlightened.
WHY. Sut. what's wrong now?
Heaps wrong: durn ne skin If art
most ,cd Lite off that hoss George. an
take horn. while take two Shaking that
everlasting flask of his at mel an plant
verself on that ar log an I'll tell We cf ken.
but it's most beyond tclin'. | rccken I'm
thc darndcSt fool out on Utaw sccpt my dad,
for he acted ho>s. an haint dun that yet
alters in some trap that cudcnt kcch sheep.
Ill drown myself sum day. see cf | don't. ji>t
TO stop 4 family disposition to make ID
fools on themselves.
How is it. Sut. have YOU been beat PLAYING
cards. or drinking. which is it :?
Nara one that can't he did in these parts
but seem it's YOU. George. II! tell YOU bu,
swar I'm 'sllamc,l-sick k-sorrv-and-
mad. am.
Ne know l boards with Bill Carr. a, his
cabin on the mountain, ard pays for sich as
cny, whr lie takes ono third outcn me il,
cu>.ln: and she. that his wife. Rett>. takes
out tothcr two thirds with tn" battlin' stick
and the intru>t with her tongue. and the III
trusts morcn the princip'l--hcap more
She's the cusscdcSt oman ever seed cny
how fur Jaw. brccdin' and pride. She can
scn.d blister onto bulls face rite on the
curl in two minits. She out-hrccds evrv.
thing on the rivcr--and patorns artcr cv'rI
brcchc>. Oh. she's one on en-. and some
times she's two or three. Well. We see. I'd
got sorlc hum made cotton truck to make Z
new shirt outcn and coaXcd Belts to make
it. and about the time it were dun here comes
LAWYER Johnson along and aXcd for breaktl.,
wish it had pizcncd him. durn his hide and
wonder it didn't. for she cooks awful mix.
inss when she tries. I'm pizcn proof, my
self tholdins up his flask and pccpinS
through iO 'or I'd been dead long ago
Wei. while he were Il ca,in. she spicd out
that his shirt was stiff an nifty slick st
she never rested till she worm'd it out of hin
that Il prrpr ration of flour did it, an she go,
a few par,clars about the pcrcccding,
ou,cn him by 'oman's art>--I don't know
how she did it. perhaps he does. Arter he
left she set in an billed a big pot of paste
nigh onto a peck of it. an >ouzcd in m,
shcrt an let i! soak awhile. and sot it up on
its aidgc again the cabin in the sun. 1ha,
it stood as stiff as dry hoss hide. an it rat
tied like sheet of iron. it did. 1t were pas
ted together all over. When cum to din
ncr nothing wud do. but must put it on
Well Belts an me got the thing open artel
some hard work. she pulling at one of tn,
tails and me at the tothcr an got into it
Durn the everlasting new tangled shert.
say. lf,lt like had crawlcd into an Ole
bee gum an hit full owe pisants, but it were
like lawyer Johnson's and | stud it like
man. and went to work to build Belts asl
hopper worked powerful hard and swe1
Ike hoss. and wh,n the shcrt got wet i,
quit its hurting.
.Artcr got dun, took about four finger.
of red head, and crawlcd up into the eabl
loft to take a snuzc.
/ well, when walked up. thought | wa.
dcd or had the cholcry. for all the joints
could move wcr my ankles, wrists, knees
culdn't even move my head and skasclcy winl
my cycs-thc cusscd shcrt was pasted fast in
to me all over. from the pint of the tails tt
the pint of the broadax collier over my wears
1t sot to me as close as a poor COW dus to he
hide in March. squirmed and strained til
| sortcr got it broke at the shoulders and ell
bows, and then | done the durndest thin.
fool ever did in these mountains. | Snuff
ed my briches off and tore loose from m,
hide about two inches of the tail all around
in much pain and tribulation. Oh! but i
did hurt. Then l took up plank outen tn
loft and hung my legs down through the hol
and nailed the aidge of the front tail to tn
floor before me, and the hind tail nailed t
the plank whot sot on. l unbuttoned tn
collar and risbands, raised my hands ava
above my head, shot up my eyes, said grac
and jumped through to the ground floor:'
Here Sut remarked sadly:
George I'm darnder fool than ever da
was, hoss hornets an all. Ill drown myself
sum of these days, see eff don't?'
well, go on, Sut; did the shert come Oft
4 'I-t-h-i-n-k-
hern noise sorter like taring shingle roo
owe house, all at onst and felt like my bone
were all that reached the flore l staggere
to my feet and took a look at my shert Th
nails had all hilt their holt, and thar it wer
hanging, arms down, inside out, and as stif
as ever. 1t looked like the map owe Mexic
jist artcr one of the first battlcs-a patch O
my hide about the size of dollar and hal
bill here; bunch of ry har about the siz
of birds nest thar then some more skin
then sum paste; then little more har the
a heap of skin then more har; then ski
and so on all over that burned new fangle,
everlasting, internal cuss of shert. 1t W.
: picture to look at-an' so cas L. The hid
har and paste, were abouse ekeally divided a
wcen me and hit. Wonder what Bets. d,.,
her. thort, when she cum home and found II
) missing. Spect she thinks crawlcd into
, thicket and died of my wounds 1t mu
have skared her good, for ! tell YOU it locke
like the skin owe sum wild beast torn of