True American. [volume] (Steubenville [Ohio]) 1855-1861, 1857-08-19
z. RAGAN, Editor and Proprietor.


though he dared not sit beside her and
though, when they walked out, he kept
continually looking down, and !rembled
when he fell the broadcast circumference
Of her hoop.skirt and notwithstanding
other look.outs in proportion, Slagg was
Stagg, in every other respect, and much
anguish was the result.
"Thcre he goes again - shrieked she,
next day, "tumbling down stairs. Merci-
ful heaven, Philemon, have you broke
your neck 7" she cried, rus hine out into
the hall.
"Not much, my DEAR" he replied,
breathlessly, picking himself up at the
foot OG the staircase "but I've nearly
mashed my head" And he put his hand
10 that erratic magazine, which was es.
sen'ially pumped, and profusely bleed.
ing.
10, my poor Phlemonl You are al.
most killed !! Take my arm. Here,
Mary ! John r.
"LoOk out for yOur feet, Laura" was
his prudent remark. "Id rather not
plaster my wounds with athousand dol
lar shawl"
Stagg was not very seriously hurt, and
was able 10 be out and about next day.
Taking walk together, Stagg had no
less than three alterations with pedes.
tuians, against whom his clumsy way Of
locomotion had precipitated himself and
wife, in such amanner as to make it seem
intentional. He .foundered along like a
great, fap-eared elephant. and it was
hardly possible not 10 mistake his walk
for an impudent swagger. Yet all was
innocent in him; and in one of the dis
putes, where be had bounced one man
against another, and that other agains,
two ladies, both Of whom were thrown
down in the contact, there gallant show
ed fight, when Stagg steped in. with The
remark that, Il did it!" whefeupon all
three pitched into him, and would have
made Stagg stagger, but for the interposi.
.ion Of two ladies', and the explana.
ton of Mrs. Stagg that he was such a
clumsy creature %
Comfortable companion, he, fora prom.
enade Mrs. Stagg. like every sensible
woman who has just regard for he,
health, was partial to going abroad te
SNUFF the fresh air, when other duties sait
yes |; and before The first week was end
ed, she trusted herself with her husband
in sail.boat-he to manage it-he, OF al
men in the world
Perhaps she was thus trusting, from
the consideration that certain amphibi
ouss animals, which are awkward or
land, are very graceful, expert and au fl
upon the water but after she was upset
by his laundering management of thu
sails, and arrived home drippling wet, sh,
didn't think Stagg was monster Of thA
amphibious genus, at least.
The husband prided himself upon hi
adroitness in the performance Of it'll
domestic chores, and when the fit was OF
him, you should have marked how Mrs
Stagg did shake. He raised the deuce
and broke things all around generally
with the best of intentions.
Mary being sick, and John on a visi
to his Aunt 3elsey. Stagg undertook tn
management Of household affairs "fo
one day only" Mrs. Stagg at his heel
all The time, lest he should tumble tn
house over, and set il on FIRE.
In his hurry he poked the CRATE will
the handle of the shovel, threw the ashe
into the yard instead Of the barrel, ant
ainging it against the wind, nearly pu
out Mrs. Stages eyes as well as his owr
He drove a nail with The bottom Of POI
celain vase, and left the atoms to tell tn
tale. He wiped his razor on the mos
interesting leaf in her album-poetr
written by a former lover--she vowed
was intentional. Thinking, at one time
that she approached too near, aOdh he
feet, he started back, and fell into a lool
. ing.glass which reached from floor I
ceiling, causing a multiplication of hi
beautiful image, anything but salisfactor
10 either of them.
"Gracious heaven-Philemon--stop
Now you have done your days work
good many hard days work, in half
day! Fow do stop!"
f "Pity, Laura, but can't be-"
: Helped, he was going to say, just as h
7 was helping himself to a glass Of win'
, 10 steady his nerves but Of course h
dropped the decanter, full Of port, upo
! the carpet. magnificent Brussels with
|, white ground, and it was ruined foreve
J This dampensd his ardor in the cau'
. OF house-work, and he desisted for Il
day, both he and his wife agreeing tn
he had done enough
But justice must be done to Mr.. Stagg
d disposition. Sad accidents did not ruff
!, his temper, even when others were
4 fault, and the seedlings Of his wife mac
no impression upon him Of an unfavor
!. BILE nature. He sincerely mourned ovt
6 his elephsntine motions, and had chari,
J, for others. And amid all his dire blul
! ders during .hs. terrible fortnight Of pr
Q baton, 10 Mrs. Stagg's regret, there VI
. one blundef he did not mske-he did n
2 step on her feet. .s.s..