The star of the north. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, 1857-06-17
Comical Report OF n Fish Convention.


great deep are assembled in conclave--the
Whale "n the chair"
He opened the convention by stating that
he did not wish TO make speech; he would
take up as liule room, and be no longer than
possible (Here the Shark whispered to the
Sword Fish that it was not possible for the
Whale 10 be much longer, as he was over 80
feet now. In his opinion, he only wanted a
chance 10 spout; in fact, he considered him a
regular bower.)
The Whale continued, and commended that
he had been grossly insulted by man-he
nigh, say lampooned, not that he would pun
upon the use made Of his fat, as he did not
wish 10 make light of such matter. He
had been harpooned, at least. Men were
sarcastic toward him, and their shafts were
sharp and pointed. Some OF his fellow
whales had been much cut up, and exceed.
ingly tried. He had utterly learned that a
substitute for oil had been invented, which
might lessen the persecution Of whales--but
he feared il was all gas. The Whale alu-
dsd TO harpoon which had lately hit him,
and, he feared, had afflicted him deeply
Here his feelings overpowered him, and he
sat down Con the Shark) amidst general
bubber
The Shark rose with some difficulty, and
remarked that the tale of the Whale had
moved him; in fact, it was very striking. His
own situation was far from pleasant. He
was by profession lawyer, and, he fla,tered
himself, one Of the deep kind. Bu, business
was bad, and he had been obliged to take in
a few pupils. He had lately presented fine
opening for a young man who had fell over.
board, bat was soon afterwards obliged to
reject his seat, as indigeslible. Unless he
had more cases, lie would leave law and
open as dentist.
The Sea.Serpent did not wish 10 ntrude
upon the Convention; he did not know
whether he properly belonged 10 the fish
tribe or not. All he asked was, not 10 be
classed with the Fol, whom he considered
10 be very slippery character. (Here the
Eel was observed 10 wriggle violently.)--
Lately he was passing certain species of
the Eel, when, JUS; happening 10 touch him,
he had been SO shocked that he hardly re-
covered.
The Eel hastily arose, and said he was
shocked, he might say electrified, at these
-rsmarks. 1t was eviden, TO him ,ha, ,he
Serpent must get himself into coil. AS for
his being "sIppery character" he thank
ed Neptune he didn't belong 10 such scaly
set as lbe Serpent.
The Whale called the Eel 10 order, and the
Eel called the Whale an cold swell-hest,n -
and wns then summarily put out Of the con.
vention.
The Turtle said he was suffering from in
disposition. He was walking on shore he
said, short time since, when lie met par
ty Of jolly young sailors The result was,
that he was laid on his back, and was unable
TO move for some time, and since then he
had not felt SO lively as usual. There was
one thing TO which he would call The atlen-
ton of The Convention; he prided himself
upon the purity of his political principles
The Shark had lately insulled him by calling
him Irregular old Hard She'll"
Here the Shark interrupted him by saying,
'Is not that your case?'
The Turtle replied, that he should say
nothing more at present, but should have
something to lay before The mex, meeting.
Yes, replied the Shark, contempluousy,
"a few eggs probably"
The Porpoise undertook to speak, but was
speedily sileuced. The expression of the
Convention was, that he was ga blower"
The Small Fry, were next called upon,1
Oysters, Lobsters, and Others. The Oys,ef
opened his case, which was q hard one.--
He was always in lrouble-a perpetual stew
or boil. His half-brolher, Clam, was dis.
grace 10 the family: always in liquor, and
generally considered "squrl." Some of
his family were indolent, and spent most OF
their time in "beds." There had been some
rakes among them, who had created great
disturbance.
There was one Of his neighbors, he said
he would not call any names, for he scorned
scandal-who was very surly and grabbed.
He was one.sded individual, and nobody
approved Of his motion.
The Crab protested against this abuse, and
said that the rest took advantage of him be-
cause he was "soiI." He respectfully retired
backward.
The Goldfish, who had been visiting q
"school;" the Shad, much nel.tled at what
he had heard; The aris,ocratic Salmon, who
got into row with York State Trout, who
called him Northern Fish with Southern
principles; and the Flying Fish, who flew
into tremendous passion-all took part 10
the proceedings Of the Convention.
But so it was, at last, as the erudite Dog
berry has it, that the whole dissembly dis.
appeared, iu good order, Notwithstanding an
attempt at disturbance made by jolly old
Sole, and "a lot OF Suckers"
HAD HER THERE.-Two little girls, one
daughter of clergyman, and the other OF
parishioner, fell into angry dispute. To NOR.
tify and spite her antagonist, the laymsn's