The American. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1857-1857, 1857-10-17
SUIT LovEGOOD's DADDY ACTING
81, .4' H0SS s.e......
= Hold that ere hoss down to the yearth."
/" Hes spreading his sail to fly now."

These and like expressions were addressed TO a
queer.looking, long-legged, short.boded, white
haired, hogeyed, funny sort of genius, fresh
from some second hand clothing store, and mounted
on Tarpole," nic-tailed, long, poor horse, half
brandy, half devil, and enveloped all over in per-
feet net work of bride reins, scuppers, martin
gales, straps, circinges, and red ferretng, who
had reined up in front of Pat Nack's grocery,
among crowd Of wild mountaineers full of fight
and bad whiskey. .....M
say, you darned ask cats, jist keep your
shirts on, will you? You never seed raal horse
till rid up. Taipoke is jst next to the best
horse that ever sheled nubbins, and he's dead as
still worm, poor old Tickey Tail" .... ..,r
"What killed him, Sut ?" said all anxious in
quirer
=" Why, nothin', you tarnationsfool; he jist died;
standing up at that. Warn't that good pluck?
Erose stiff; no. not adzactly, but starved fust and
then frose afterwards, SO stiff that when dad and
me pushed him over, he jst stuck out so (spread-
ing his arms and legs) like a carpenters bench,
afore we could skin him. Well, thar we was-dad
and me Counting his fngers) dad an me, Sal an
Jake-fool Jake we used to call him for short
an Phneas, an Simeon, an Jonas, an Charlotean,
an Culina Sane, an Cashns Henry Clay, an Noah
Dan Webster, an Cathine second, an Cleopatry
Antony, an Jane Lind, an Tom Bullion the baby,
an the prospect an marm herself all left without
any boss to crop with. That was nice mess for
spectacle family to be slnshed about in, warn't
its declare if didn't feel like steein' horse,
sometimes Well waited and rested, and waited
until well unto strawberry time, hoping some stray
hoss mout come along, but dog my cats ef any
sich luck as that ever comes whar dad is he's so
drotted mean, an lazy, an savage an ugly, an
trifn'." ... ~ -
swell, one mite, dad he lay awake all nite
snortin' and rollin,' an whisperin' at lnarm;
an next mornin', says he, Sut, I'll tell you what
we'll do; III be boss myself, an pull the pillow,
while you drive me, and Wen break up corn
ground, and then the old quilt Chats marm) and
the brats kin plant or let alone, ist they please
So out We goes to the papaw, an pulled right
smart chance of bark, and marin an me made
gears for dad, an they become him nightly;
then he would have a bride; SO gifts an old um-
brella what found-its little piece iron, sorter
like onto pitchfork, ye know-an' we bent an
twisted it sorter into briile Bit snail shape, (dad
wanted it curb as he hadn't worked for some time,
and mout sorter feel his oats, and 60 to cavortin)
Well, when we got the bride all fixed on dad, he
chomped his bit jist like raa hoss Che always was
a most complicated old fool enyhow, an marm
alters said SO when he warnt about;) then put
on the gears, an out dad an goes to the field,
leadin' dad by the bride, and totin' the gopher
plow on my back. .rs..sEs-
When we come to the fence, / let down q Cup,
and made dad mad he wanted to jump the fence
on all fours, hoss way.
went, dad leanin' forard 10 his puin' right peart;
an We made sharp plown', dad goin' right over
| the bushes an sprouts same as a ralc hoss, the
| only difference is he went on two legs.
/ Presently we come TO a sassafras patch, and
| dad, TO act up his character as a hoss, bulged
squar inter it, and tore down hornets nest nigh
| as big as hosss head, and all the tribe kivsred
| him rite strate. He rared an kicked once or
twice, an fotched squeal wus ary hos5 in
the deestrict, an sot into runnin' away jist ss
material as ever you seed. ...
let 30 the piov an hollered woa, dad woa
but ye mout well said woa to a locomotive.
Je-whillekins! how he run.
When he cum TO a bush he'd clear it, gopher
an ALL pr'aps he tho't there mout be another
settlement of bald hornets in it, an that it wur
safer to 60 over than thru, an quicker dun.
Every now an then he'd paw one side of his head
with fust one fore leg an then t'other; then he'd
gin himself an open.handed slap, that sounded
ike n wagon whip, an runnin' all the time, an
carryn' that gopher jist about as fast an high
from the yearth as ever gopher was carried, l
swar. When he cum to the fence he busted rite
thru 1t, tarin' nigh onto seven panels scatterin'
an brakn' the rails nightly; an here he left the
gopher, gears, ngletrees, an keyis, all mixed
up, not wuth durn most Of his shirt stuck 70
pint o hornets stad with the Shirt a-stingin' il
| all over-the balance on 'em, about gallon an
hall, kept on with dad. lie seemed TO run jist
adzackly rs fast rs a hornet could fly, for il was
the tghtest race / ever did see down thru the
grass they all went, the hornets sorter maxim it
look like smoke all around dads head, an he with
nuthin' on but the bride, an nigh onto yard o
plow line sailin' behind him.
/ seed he was amin' for the swimmin' hole in
the creek whar the bluff is over twenty five feet
perpendicular to the water, an it's nigh onto ten
feet deep. To keep up his character as n hos.,
when he got TO the bluff he jist leaped Off or
rather, he jist kept on runnin' Now right, thar,
boys, he overdid the thing il that was what he
was arter, for there's nary hoss ever oaled burned
fool enough to leap over sich place; a mule
mout have done it, but dad warn't actin mule.
/ crept up to the edge and looked over. Thar
was old dads bald head, FOR all the world like q
peeled Ipjun, a-bobbin' up an down, an the
hornets a-sailin' an crcn' round, turkey-buzzard
iashiJn an every once in while, one, and some
times ten, 'ud make n dip at dads head He kept
up a peart dodgn under; sometimes they'd hit
him an sometimes they'd hit the water, an the
water was kiversd with drownded hornets.
"What on yesrth are ye doing thar, dady says
l.
."Don't (dip) you see these Internal vsrmnts
(dip) under mef
what" sed /. "Them are hoss flies thar We
an't really afeard Of them, are yeY
"Hoss Aies" sed dad they're rae (dip) gss-
uine bald hornets, you (dip) Internal cussl"
"Well dad, you'll have to stay thar till mite, and
arter they go TO roost, you cum home and III feed
you" And knowing dads unmodifed natur,
broke from them parts aud sorter cum to the cop
per mines. l stad hid out till next afternoon,
when seed fellow travelling and sed ], "What
was going on at the cabin this side Of the creek,
when you passed I" ..
"Why nuthing much, only man was sitting in
the door with nary shirt on, and a woman was
greasing his back and arms, and his head was
about as big as ten-gaon keg, and he hadn't the
fuss sign Of an eye--all smooth"
That mans my dad" sed |.
Been much iten in this neighborhood stely3"
| sed the traveller, drily. . . ...
"Nun wuth speaking Of, personally Of perticu-
larly," sedI l. 49,.
Now, boys, | haint seen dad since, and would be
afeard to meet him in the next ten years. "Let'
| drink" .. .r.. ss.... ... F,. G..