The Cadiz Democratic sentinel. [volume] (Cadiz, Ohio) 1854-1864, 1857-09-10


AMI heyln to whistle Old Dog Tray, with id
tervals offive minutes between the notes-lheh
had glass OF Lager, "a kind Of beer much fan
ced by the foreign element Of odr city and
which does not intoxiclte,) AMI fear | abused
the waiter BECAUSE he didn't bring any gravy on
it-then had another, into which | poured
vinegar, mustard and fine=cut tobacco. Under TIE
delusion that [ was making brandy punch
then remembered hal resolved not 10 drink
anything that would intoxicate, 50 1 heroicallY
threw my brandy punch into the fire, and CALI
ell fora glass of Lager drink which the early
leuton introduced into this country and which
does MT intoNicate.
Then the music struck up again and wanted
the alligator to waltz-aligator refused TO speak
TO mt-thought I'd take off my coat aid whip
aligltorto decency, but as WAS trying to ac-
compliSh this enterprise | lost my balance ana
sat down in plate OF ham and III lstard belong
ng to fierce German, whom instantly seized
by the mpu'tache, whereupon he knocked ms
down-reSo!vel to kill fierce German immedi-
ately, and explained to him at length, that if
he'd let me up, I'll cut his head Off with an oys-
ter knlie-then Damphool came and patiiied Inc
and took tie fierce German away-got up ard
had some Lager, the whole of which | poured
INTO my bosom as | was trying to explain to the
byStanders that Lager "a pleasant compound OF
unknown ingredients) isn't Intoxicating
Suddenly | again determined TO dance AMI
started with that intention have an indisi
tinct le; lection that about this time there was
a great upsetting ottable5 and smashing fglass-
es but | really can't undertake to say whether
fired the loaf of bread through the window BE-
FORE ! threw the castor bottle ut the fders or
not; or whether th.t innocent demonstration
preceded by breaking all the decantcrs in the
-ir1lp MI
cask with an axe--nor can | tell whether ex-
tingnshed the clarinet player with the big cheese
before or after | sat down on the piano and got
tho cranp IN my right leg trying TO play bass
solo with my heels but find all these little oc-
currencoS were in the programme. Why | con-
Quoted myself in this manner cannot say
could not have been drunk, for | had partaken
Of nothing but Lager Bier which is fluid inno-
cent Of alcohol. 1t may have been the sardines,
or the cheese-or perhaps the sausage flew tu
my head
was finally captured by four Du.chmen lei
on by Damphool, who took me ot'the floor bees
hind the piano, where was trying to pour beer
out ofan Z fat busle, and was asking the bass.
drum # it wouldn't have another mug ! was
supported by the whole strength of the eompa
my a. Far as the door, where DAmphool took
charge ofme. Iw1nt along well enough, though
WHY ucslrcd 10 Snllil All tue gas WIN my M
gers don't know, nor can [ tell what induced
me to make 50 many Intellectual efforts to open
my door with the tail Of my coat instead uf the
latch key, nor why | seizsl my lal ly's nght.cap
TO light me to bolwith, in place ofa night lamp;
it couldn't have been the Llger, for chat inocu-
Gus beverage does not intoxclte the pArtakat
thereof
This sketch ofmy performance is relate BY
Damphool, as lost my mon.o3y i,nme lately af
Ter the love episode with the writer
Awoke next dly at n5oa, waen MY head felt
like patent win lass wi,h double gang ofinen
at the crank. laid il to the cheese, AMI mtde
as5fons resolve TO CIT NJ IN re cd eSs without
taking plenty of Lager Bier "a IN ylicinaI prepa
ration and diuretic eharacter,) to co rect its i'll
elects,
lnHcxibly
@. X. PHILAND EE D0ESTICS, r y.
L. s. Lager does not into xrate