Daily Iowa State Democrat. [volume] (Davenport, Iowa) 1856-1859, 1857-06-24
Feeling his Bumps.

Our neip hbor, Col. S., tells .
capital story Of . certsin wag 10 Erie,
Pa, jolly publican. who contribute.
good deal TO tho life Of that pleasant,
but sometimes very obstinate borough.
Ono morning . travelling phrenologist
arrived at his inn and took Lodgings
The next daV in the villisge newspaper
appeared an slvsrtisemens stating that
Prof. B--hsd arrived in Erie, and
would make "for compensation" ex-
smination Of the heads Of citizens, and
accompanying the ssme with accurate,
reliable charts Of character. For two
or three days the calls were scarce but on
the 6fsh there was rush Of Eve or six
to the apartments OF tho Professor.-
One morning . countryman entered the
inn where the phrenologist had bis
rooms, and said to the landlord afors-
ssid:
:" ls this the place where the phreno-
log,st d" holds OUT" who can tell mans
ksraoter BY the bumps on his skull. p
Z" Yes," replied Booifaoe, with re-
served sod dign,hed air."
Wal, want my potatoe trap looked
into little. Where's the man 2"
sm the man." ssid the landlord.
ooh, you be, eh9" Wal, put in, feel
O. my bumps. and giu US map. whss's
the swindle9"
"Thers is no swindle sir, phrenology
10 . science, SIR"
"Oh, yes expect 90 but what's the
price fo- feelin' feller's hesd?"
"One dollar, with . chart"
Wal, 60 it; what do du?-lie
down or cit un? Does it hurt"
- Not in the lesss, my dear sir. Take
your seat in that CHAIR"
There were four or tive morning loun-
gers in the tavern who checked o laugh,
- the countrymsn took his sest, having
fret, - requested, removed his coat, vest
and neck cloth. The wsg o. . lsndlord
run bic hand through the hair OF the
patient for moment, and then turning
TO the bss keeper, said;
Mr.. Elipkins, take sheet Of paper
and draw tour lines down its whole
length, and put my 6gures under the
head mention to you.
1t vas done.
"Havs you got i.p"
Yes, all right"
every WE'LL"
And the landlord went on with bis ex-
animation, which wss rougher, perhaps,
then there Wss any necessity Tor.
!" Put down Philo- progeDitivensss
. xty."
Down, SIR"
Very we'll, Reverence two"
i" Booked, sir.,,
"Combst,veness, two hundred"
" What's that" said the victim.
" No matter. sir-you'l see it 90 the
chart.
Caution, one."
Oredulisy, foue hundred.
What's the last lump" ssked the
psiisnt.
f" Never mind nov, you'll understand
it By end By. Aod now, (so the bar
kespsr) 0e. FIipkins. you've pus those
iu separate columns, q usual"
:" Yes, cir"
"Very vell-add 'sm up"
Add 'sm u.u-p p! exclaimed the
chronological subjec "is that the
way you do2"
"Cf 90 u.r.se how else could ws
get your balance OF miod-of intellec,?"
"Wsl, 70 shssd."
Hos does It daboil, Mr.. Fhpkioep''
The three coIumss are equal, they
foot up preo.sely the same!
| The landlord looked solemnlv and
sympsshisiogly towards his subject
1t is strange" said be, :. but is sc.
Phrenoloey never lies. You have 30
predominant character, sir you have
NO intellectual statue; you don's know
anything. sir. Excure No cir. bu, must
state she truth, Whether YOU take the
chart or not bot il there 10 sny truth
is phrsnoiogy, you are eussed (ool!-
Uoder the circumstances, sir, / can
sesrcely expect you to keep the chart
you have sonsrsessd for that . nat
ter Of smsll consequence, - Il viii be =
valuable illustrati0n Of 90 upioue speo.
iss, which oso uss IN all nv lectures.
hereafter. sushsoticass all nv lec.
tssss, sir, With reel names aud residen.
ess. The che 4. OF deception 10 science,
10 oss which wss never broushs seainss
Ne, and never will BE-, cir, never."
"Oh, ssser mind; give % The nan. -
said the subject; ''here's the swiodie,
for Ia eaehsr pay it, tAao have you -.
leg around the country MAXIM fool Of
Ds evsfyuAase slsa, - you hsss bore
you blasted phiioe esnitfvs hunbue vou!:'
With shis sEpaesies, sAs ssbjsss rssir-
tA1~.AAsAa
fealAa - ~ Msaeeeis ss1nesateet