Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1857-09-03
STEALING WATER-MELoNS.


STEALING WATER-MELONS.
Alb Ashley was a real, live Hoosier, noto-
rious for everything in general, and stealing
melons in particular. In melon time, he
was the dread of the whole neighborhood ;
for when he visited patch, he made it a
rule never to leave'uDtil it was entirely des.
troyed. This was singular trait in his
Notwithstanding unaccountable-for,
aside from this, he was considered one Of the
best fellows in the world. Stealing melons
and pluudering patches, seemed to be part
of his nature, for it was evident that it did
not arise from any niggardly disposition OF
selfish motives. He was real open hearted
kind of an individual, always growing more
melons than anybody else, and giving them
away more freely than anybody else. They
we're no object to him, yet he could not re-
sist the temptation to steal from his neigh
bers, just for the fun of the thing. But, as
some one has said, 'it is long lane that has
no turn : and likewise, had Alb followed up
the practice of stealing melons all his life,
he would have got to be melon thief Of
long standing. But such a state of things
was not destined to last always-'A change
came DER the spirit of his dream I reeol-
lect once, in melon season, some three or
four youngsters called at Abs house, ard
after telling him Of the fine patch that
Deacon Aikers had, proposed to visit it
Ab was on hand without moments hesi-
fancy, and so the company set out as soon as
it was fairly dark. Before proceeding fur
ther, I may say of Alb, in the language of
the poet, He loved whiskey,' as we'll as he
did melons; and as the boys in whose COM
pany he was, had looked to the future and
brought along bountiful supply of the good
critter,' he was soon enjoying himself huge
ly. Round and round went the black bottle,
and on and on went the company. They
soon got to be very merry-so much so that
apparently they paid no attention to road or
path, but went right through the woods and
brush, the same as if they had been walking
on barn floor. At length, after winding
about in various ways, and overcoming many
obstacles, such as fallen 'trees and worm
fences that lay in their route, they arrived
at the patch, and pitched over the enclosure.
Ye gods, what sight! There lay the huge
melons, so thick that our adventures could
scarcely walk for them. There they lay,
great mealy, 'red cores apparently calling
out in their own language, 'Arise, slash and
eat! They were none of your little, long,
'wizzled up things, such as find their way
to the market stands, and which one would
suppose had fallen from the vine in a fit of
of the 'blue devils;' but they were great,
plump, jolly, good natured fellows, many Of
which were already showing their red in.
terror, having, apparently, burst their sides
with laughter. Alb was right in his glory,
and so, hauling out his jack knife, he fell
to slashing around with vengeance. The
others followed his example, and very soon
there was sad havoc in the melon patch.
Having satisfied his appetite, Alb fell
stamping and crushing open all that came in
his way. The other boys hesitated to par
ticipate at first, urging that it was really too
bad to treat the old Deacon in such man.
ner; but Alb swore that it was good enough
for the old hypocrite, and that he would not
leave as long as there was melon with a
whole hide. Finding there was no stopping
him, they lent hand to the performance,
and very soon every melon was destroyed ;
and not only that, but the vines were pulled
up and heaped in one corner of the patch.
Now, said Alb, mounting the pile, which
was some five or six feet high, give me the
black bottle, and let me drink the old Dea-
cons health-that good man, in honor Of
whom we've just erected this monument
The bottle was passed up, and Alb began
Deacon Aikers-May he live to plant
many patch like this, and may Alb Ashley
and his friends have the honor of harvestin'
it fur 'em.
Hats went round three times, after which
the bottle started, and made like number
of revolutions
Now fetch me that pole yonder, till I erect
standard, to show that man has been to the
summit, and then the work'll be complete,
said Alb.
The pole was brought, and after tearing a
strip off an old cotton handkerchief and at
taching it to the end of the pole, Alb stuck it
up in the pile of vines, dismountcd, and all
started for home. In space of time truly
incredible, they arrived at Abs residence.
Alb pressed his friends to stay till morning,
but they would not hear of it. Some pres
sing business, of course, prevented; and SO
they set out, leaving him to snooze off the
bad effects of bad whiskey.
Early next morning, Alb Ashley was a.
reused from his sound slumber by one of his
little sons running to his bed, and calling
out: Pap, pap, pap! Get up, quick-quick-
er! Some'n's hooked all er-'er water mel
uooaf