Wilmington journal. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1844-1895, 1857-08-14
Hastings Of Punch.

IN his large picture Lord Palmerston is waiter,
knocking at the door of British officer (Slr Colin
CampbeIN with mug of water for shaving. he
saws" Here's your hot water, sir" Sir toin re-
plies" All right, I've been ready long time" In
further allusion TO the same general, Punch says
If breyity is the soul of wit Sir Colin Campbell
VIXEN in answer to the question, how soon he could
start for India, he answered. Tomorrow! uttered
one of the smarest recorded pieces of ready wit"
The HarrouO Turnout-Lord Paln.erston, in &C
knowledgiDg his health, drunk in bis original char
acter of Harrow boy" at the last annual festiva
of the Ha1rovianS declared that no other public
school in the kingdom had had the good fortune to
turn out such men as Lord Aberdeen, the Earl OF
Ripon, and the late Sir Robert Peel Lord Palmer
ston is modest he did at least much his school
to turn out two of the three statesmen mentioned.
Pttppuisrn for the Dog Days: By one Who IS Er-
trenely Cool.-The future is the land of promise TO
all such poor devils prisoners, exes, bill holders,
paupers, creditors, heirs, and lovers.
Resource for Some Sovereigns Prince FREEZER.
lex William, of Prussia, presented last week
with the freedom of the city of London We sincere
ly hope that the husband of princess, at least,
will never have occasion to make any use of the
rights and privileges conferred upon him IN making
him that present. Some continental monarchs would
perhaps have real boon granted them in being
empowered to set up shop in possible contingency,
within the jurisdiction of the lord mayor.
The Late Misunderstanding .-To Mr.. Punch
Sr,-Oblige me BY publishing the enclosed cores.
pondence. Yours, DIZZY.
SC Dear Derby, You are reported 10 have said in
the house last night that you would rather not
jew chancellor of the exchequer.' You will scarce
ly be surprised at my asking for an explanation.
Yours, Dizzy"
"The Right Hon., &c. &C., July H.
" Dear DIzzy,-You do not seem 10 be aware that
you are Christian. Yours, DERBY"
1.-The Right Hon, &C., &c., July H."
Dear Derby,-So l am. Your explanation is
most satisfactorily, presume you will not object
to my forwarding this correspondence to Punch
Yours, DIZZY"
"The Right Hon., &C., July 11.''
Il Very PRETTY Sentiment for aohich ne export no
end of pretty presents. )-Between mans love and
womans love, there is all The difference between
lending and giving. With woman, love is gift
with man it is only a loan. The loan is for the
nent, or for that particular evening, it may be
for six months, or, perhaps, long six years but
WithIwoman, the gilt is one that lasts all her life.
Quite Ncao Cry--One of our contemporaries,
describing OF the royal visits says most gush-
ingly-,
"There came into our eye an involuntary half,
tear"
We have heard many Iersons say that they had
half-a mind I've have also heard many person
called fool but" half.a.tear is decided
novelty in this Vale of Tears !" For ourselves,
little suspected that tear could be torn in two, like
bank note. Perhaps, our crying correspondent kept
the other half HIMSELF that the two halves may be
matched together on some future cry or it may be-
that the other half in the other eye for if you
notice, the poor fellow. who fathoms his grief with
such an accurate plumbline only alludes to eye
We suppose halfear is shed when one has had
only half-a dinner Or, perhaps, it appropriately
occurs when one is " hafseas over 2" Anyhow, the
Gbsurdily is too good by half not 10 be further
cOuraged We hope our semilachrymose tear -shedder
will next favor with expression of sorrow as nice
ly subdi vided as the following :-"Our bosom heaved
with three quarter-sg h," or, " We couldn't we'll
speak for the E. emotion that oppressed u.s."
The AUTHOR OF EoTHEN's MAIDEN ISPEEcH.-
While Mr.. Whiteside achieved an oratorical triumph
in the Oaths Bill debate Mr. Kingake the author OF
Eothen, in his maiden Speech broke down utterly
1t 10 unnecessary to say how much expected from
this gentleman ; indeed, he is almost the only OF
the new members who into the House with a
reputation already made. 1t was perhaps owing to
that circumstance that the failure must be attributed
he had evidently prepared original argument on
the beCt-something that had never been used be-
FORE But at the critical moment his nerves PLAYED
him false. He had not proceeded many sentences
till he was observed 10 hesitate and waver and 9TH
erwise to exhibit symptoms of distress The house
always indulgent to a. first essay cheered Justify
and making desperate effort to recover, he clutched
nerVously at fragment of his discourse-it seemed
to have little connection with what went beforehand
ratified along with 1t at rapid pace. But self pos
session did not return. Again the wavering was OBJ
serVable; again the cheering rose but this time il
was not followed by another attempt; and the hon
orabe member, after two Intellectual efforts tt
get out something, at last gave it up altogether an
sal down TO wipe the hot perspiraon from his brow
and then to pull his hat over his eyes if he woull
hide himself altogether from view Of course this
failure is no argument against bis future
was evidently from want of matter, nor even o
careful preparation, this failure London Paper
THE BRoxrRs DoG.-A certain broker had dog
remarkable for its intelligence. Every SATURDAY
morning the dog received from its master a dolla
bill, which it carried carefully to market, and will
which it paid its meat bill for the week. One day
through press of business, The broker neglected t.
give BePo his customary ALLOW vance, and througl
street and warehouse, mart and exchange, the dos
followed his master, who wondered at such unusua
attendance At last, snugly esconced in his ofhc
SnaiF' Tue broker had time 10 TeCOect the cause c
nOneSS Depo's pertinacy, and carefully taking bill
from MS pocket he threw it at the dog, expecting
see him depart as usual. But to his surprise and
noyance tne oog' placing his fore paw upon In
continued the interesting performance until the mas
ter angrly snatched up the note and found the caus
OF the noise eXplained-the bill aas discounted Mt fou
per cent.~Harper'S Weekly.
A DEAD NrsRo.-When the choleys was at Il
worst in 1S49 in New Orleans an ola negro VIII
had weathered the yellow fever many times at lengt
col heightened at the havoc which the disease "
making among all classes HIS master one nigh
nearo MIN praying to the +" angel OF de Lord" by tn
light of tallow candle " to spare him dis time
let him live little longer and and den take him
glory" But he concluded his prayer bv nrofessn
perfect submission TO the will of the angel of d
+o[o'' even should he be called to 90 immedatel
on MS long journey. Sambo's master determined ,
Ses' the sincerity of this last profession. He knocke
loud ana Distinct at his door. Who dar 3 ga,
S campo " Inc angel Of the Lord" the answe