The Davenport daily gazette. [volume] (Davenport, Iowa) 1856-1869, 1857-08-17

- AUGUST II
- ftanesoee HIM, G e - -

Il
There 1oszisAsa fr nany yssrs, In csr
tain villaes, in TIE god state a Tennessee
a scc0tric filow wADr(oiced N thu 1Ans
of Peter Isard; 0e many years be hllsl tn
important Ones, known In varioas parts q
the Unioa = Maeisesaes, Alderman OF jus
tice Of the Peaec The following Is sample
Of Squire Isard's mode u procceding:
A gentleman by the name Of 0cAurraz
WAS riding through C, where bis hoes4
lost shoe. For replacing is, ths blacksmith
whose name was Bildo, charged the cool sum
a ~ eagle-or rather two sovcFeigns. Nat
urally indignant, our traveller refused topay
such an cxorhitant demand, and was arrest
Cd 1t the suit al the son Of Vulcan.
There being NO other resource Mr.. McMur.
ran was escorted to the Magistrates Office
back Of the bar.
After being introduced into the most Gu.
gust presence Of the Squire, and the charge
stated, the following dialogue occurred:
Well, cir, whats your name r.
McAurran, SIR"
Humph, Mr. HcMurran, no other
name r.
John McMurran, SIR"
mo Mr.. Burnn--no alias p
"Of course not, sir have M need ii
one"
Where do you live, Mr.. Carbon !"
My name amt Carrion---l told you is
McNurrsn"
Well, Mr.. Burton, did You make any
bargain &" shoeing your horse 7"
NO, sir"
Then, Mr. barton, you acted, s,r--ex.
c,lse me--like fool"
!" don't come here to BE- insulted, sir, and
no man shall talk ~ to me-" cried poor
Mac.
al know yoa did, Mr. Fulson--keep 81
lcncc, or ri fine you. YoH acted, sir--.lon't
contradict mc--like perfect 6ool and let
this b . warming, cir, never 70 trust such q
scoundrcl - Enos bildo (thc smith, further
than you can ding bull BY The tail, ito the
plaintiff mean you--you skunk. You'd
steal the copper Oh your decd mothers eye,
you poor, no souled hog.
aThe sentence of this court, 10, that yosl,
Enos Bi!do, shall have two dimes Tor ycur
work, which Is al its worth, and if you say
another word, I'll knock you down. Clear
this court"
Fully satis6cd with this verdict, and high
~ amused with his adventure, Ma went on
his way.
This way of consounding names va. e.
vorite hobby Of the 'Squirc's, and be was an
adept in the art. On one occasion when hc
Was q witness beeorc State Court, one ii
the lawyers undertook 20 pay him of, in his
own coin. When the Squire took he wit
ness' stand, the following dialogue occurred
"Waat II youl name, cir -
Peter lard
How old are you, Mr.. Lizard r.
!" Nv name IL lxard-Petcr lizard"
:" BEG your pardon, Mr.. Gissard, but
an little hard of hearing this morning"
"lxa.d, sir-lzar,, !"
"Ah, I understand Well, Mr. Bux1ard,
how Cd ass you ~
Now, look here, Mr., that's not my name
and woa't answer"
TEissle Wen &c about that Now, sir,
what's your sec, Mr.. Drisslc7"
The witness maintained dogged silence,
"Perhaps be had better spcll Il Tor you,
said the Court, choking with laughter"
Eye" said the witness, ''red-ay-ar-
dee 7"
"Wcll, your honor, called him by that
name, al along !"
Any fool might know Il spells lizard y
shouted Peter
May Il pleasc the Court, y interposcd tho
attorney, drawing himself up, with IN cir Of
wouRAsddignity, ssither this witness, Nsas
lss must BE- removed, ", shall leave the
bar
You rascal, beloved the ,nfuristcd Pc
>er"
"Sherid, take charge Of the witness"
cried the Court, sitting for . moment It's
mirth, for the only sober faces in the ssscm-
blage were those Of the lawyer and wit
nes.
"You be hang'd d. called out Squire Izar,l
|" you and the Court too, you lo~-lived vaga'
bond 70
a mittimus to the Jail for three days
and VS. iinc," cried the Court
Here the Sheriff came up 10 Peter, 70 car
~ him oG
what's my name, Toni" called ths
Squire, - he was led out.
Peter lxarsi," was the prompt response
"The following day, the Squire was par
sioned, and the fine RENTED but never sftel
did he venture to use the weapon, that had
Lsen ~ eiIectually turned On himself