The national era. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1847-1860, 1857-12-10
MISCELLANEOUS.


81 can assure your Msjesty," said he, that
have so well experienced the nature of l.,
that can exactly tell even the weight Of the
smoke in any quantity consume.
81 doubt it much, Sir Walter" replied Eliza
beth, thinking only of the impracticability Of
weighing smoke in a balance, and will wager
you twenty angels that you do not solve my
doubt"
A quantity was agreed upon to be thorough
" smoked. Carefully preserving the ashes.
Raleigh weighed these with great exac,ness,,
and what was deficient of the original WEIGHT,
he gave as the result.
" 1our Majesty" said be, "cannot deny that
the difference hath been evapOrated In smoke"
Truly L cannot" answered the Queen
Then turning TO those around her. who had
been amused by RAleigh's calculations. che
continued, in alusion to the alchemists, then
very numerous, Many laborers in the fire have
heard OF, who turned their gold into smoke,
but Raleigh is the first who has turned smoke
into gold"
We have heard of travellers getting authors
to write their books Of travels, ard getting en-
gravers to draw imaginary scenes for their
establishment we have also heard &C ladies.
who could not sew, getting seams,resses to
work beautiful needlework fer them, which they
exhibited as their own. But all this impudence
is nothing to that of the famous Cardinal Ricte.
lieu. man of great learning, called LIE Jaw,
compiled a French Polyglot Bible in ten vol
uDes folio, and having spent his fortune in
its composition, he applied to the Cardinal, thea
Prime Minister Of France, for assistance 70
bring out his work. To this application the
Cardinal replied, that if his name were put on
the title-page as author. he would then furnish
msans; but the noble lie Jay rejected the in
soient offer, and submitted to poverty rather
than lose the justly-scquired honors Of so great
az undertaking.
AT an examination of the College of Surgeons.
candidate was asked By Aberuethy-
g What would you do, if q man was blown up
with powder2"
Wait until he came down. he coolly re-
piled.
True" replied Aberrehy; " and suppose
should kick you for such an impertinent reply,
what muscles would put in motion?"
The texors and extensors of my arm, for
would knock you down Immediately"
He received diploma.
DO you know the prisoner, Mr.. Jones 2"
"Yes, to the bone"
"What is his character"
Didn't know he had any"
"Does he live near ycu?"
so near, that he has only spent S.. fer FIRE
wood in eight years"
A dry old crust of fellow. who was uDban.
Ply with his preacher, because the - ry vine
as Carlyle would call him, could not penetrate
the thick ligament that covered the crus;v mans
soul, signifed to the minister MS desire TO have
pew nearer the pulpit"
Cant you hear2 " asked the coed man.
Yes, was the reply.
Can't you see?"
"Yesr
Then, why do you changer"
Because" said the obdurate one, &" I am 20
Tar oi, that when your words get to me, they
are as fiat as dishwater."
Mother" said little boy the other dav.
" I've got such bad headache and sore throat.
tco"
Have you, my dear2" asked the mother;
well, you shall have some medicine"
It's no matter" retorted the shrevsd urcbin,
" I've got 'em, but they don't hurt me-"
Lord Bradford was gu eccentric Scotch Judge.
with bad-tempered wife His butler deter.
mined to leave, because Lady Bradford was al
ways scolding him.
why" exclaimed the old JUDGE, "ve've
little to complain; ye may he thankful we're no
married to herl"
A well.krown political economist SAYS:
We pay best, first, those who destroy ne
generals; second, those who cheat us-poI;ti-
clans end quacks; third, those who a-nuae ue-
singers and musicians; and least Of all these
who instruct us-suthors, school masters, and
editors"
ONE's MoTHER.-Arround the idea of ors's
mother, the mind clipgs with fond affection.
1t is TIE first dear thought stsmpsd upcn our
infant hearts, when soft and capable Of rsceiv-
ing most profound impressions, and all the
after feelings are mere or less light in CON
parisoD. Our passions and cur wilfuIness NAV
lead us from the object of orr iEa love We
may become wild, headstroDg, and angry. at her
counses or opinion but when death has still.
ed her mohitory voice, and nothing but calm
memory remains to recapitulate her good desds,
affection, like flower beaten TO the ground H.
rude storm, raises up her head and smiles
through her tears. Around the idea. as ve
have said, the mind clings with fond affection
and even when the earlier period Of our loss
forces memory to be silent, fancy takes the
and twines the image of our de-
parted parent with a garland OF graces. and
beauties, and virtues, which we doubt not that
she possessed.
There is class of people who are always
late. They are inevitably late TO tee cara, I'D
they invariably have TO jump for it If thew ara
gcirg upon q steamboat aunt Every:hing with
these people is put Of until the last moment,
and then, if the plank is removed, trey stand
a capital chance of jumping overheard, in
attempting to leap upon the ok af er The rad
die-wheels have commenced revolving. II the
boat started an hour later, 1t would be all TIE
same to them, for they would Just as inevitably
hahIp6 ND
TOO late TO take things cool and comfortable.
These people have to stir their stumps or be
left behind, when they have steamboats, or rail.
road cars to deal with, but they are the bane
OF the existence Of purctual persons with whom
they have dealings, and who have no resource,
but In the way OF tapping upon big bell or
blowing q steam-whistle, to hurry up the delin-
q1ent, eleventh-aour men. One procrastina.
ting man will derange the best. laid plans OF
hundreds, by failing to come up 10 time, and
he wastes hours fer others In his disregard for
minutes.
: There is nothing funnier in cockney vernacu.
lar than Jeamess letter, according T. the vera
cious historian, Tbaekeray, when he is in Cicuht
which TO prefer of his two lady loves, Mary
Ham or Hangelina. He writes: There they
stood together, them two young women. /
don't know which is the ansomest; I couldn't
clip comparing them; hand couldn't clip com
pairing myself to certain Hannimile, Pve
found it difficult to make choice betwigst =
Bundles of A."
EXTENSIVE AMOUNT OF SPECIE.-At the time
The injunction was served on the Sanford Bank,
Maine, says the Bangor Wing, they had safely
slowed away in their vaults, in specie, the eDor-
nous sum of four dollars and SereRteen cents!
BY the help of the cashier, the bank commits
sioners were able TO count it accurately in lees