The Union and eastern journal. [volume] (Biddeford [Me.]) 1854-1858, 1857-08-28
MARCUS WATSON. Priaicr.
p0rtrq.
Nothing TO Wear

NNshb w "ssA.
Wv. \. Butler, Young lawcr Of Ne,
York. has done his country some servic
in satirizing female folly and cxtrayagane,
by an episode OF city life drawn from th'
circle OF upper Tendom," an extrem
c.,,c, TO be sure, but which with modiii
cation may be made TO suit any latitude o
Longitude. The opening gives the kc
note to the whole -
Miss Fiora n'Fim.sy, % M,d.on Square,
Has made three separate journeys to Paris,
AMI her hther assures ne, each time she vas there,
Tha, she and hgr friend Mrs. Harris,
(NOt the lady whose name i 81 famous In history,
But plain llrs. H., without romance Or uystsry)
spent six consecutive weeks without stopping,
shopping alone and shopping t'gciler,
At an h5urs u the iay and In .ll sorts Of weather
For an manner or things tlat woman eanPut
On the eroun q her had or the sole o; her foot,
Or wup rouud her shoulders, OF a. round her waist,
Or tha, can be sew on, Or p.anei on, or laec',
Or tied on wth a string, stitched on with how,
In from, Or behind above or below
For bonnsts, mln,as, car q, collars a7i shav'Ii
Dr,-.ss for brgskf's,, ami C.1arrs, anil b,Is'
Drt.sc. % slt In, anl s,puI iu, aul walk nG
Dresses n dance la, 10 ll'r iu, {, tax ini
Dresses IN which o. DO nothing at oHi
Dresse, Or winter, srri.r, sumnsr and Tag;
All of them different "a co'1r auI pattern,
silk, muslin, AM lace, erapg vglvc, AMI satin.
Brocad;. aud Froa.lcl1th. arh oihcr material
Quite as expansive aud much norv slhsrcali
10 Short for an things that could ever bs thought of
Prom sn.thousa u franc robes 70 tvrnty-sou' f.
In all quarters q Paris, ami AMI to every store,
whe M'Flmssy In vain storms,l scoIe,l, sni s~ore,
They fo'ei the streets, ani he f51,si the bills"
The author then sets out his attach
ment' TO Miss FlOa:-
al should mention JUS here that ous of Miss Fora's
Two hundred anl Gny OF sixty adcrers,
had just 'eu seeCtei a' he who sh1uIl throw all
The res, In The shade, by the gracious bes.owal
On myself amer twenty or thirty selections,
OF those FOSSIL rsmains which she called her affections,
And that rathOr wrl-known "a, dCcsyei work of ara,
Which Miss RiorA persisted In styling her heart
sowO were engaged. Our trOth had been pligh.sd-
No, ~ moonbsam sunbeam, by buntaln or grove,
NV w HehA Paitoft iAs's nilitiAAiily tiEhttNs
Beneath the gas fixtures, We whl'perc I her love.
WI,hOu, any romance, or raPtures, or sigh.,
Without any tears In Miss Fiors's blue eyes,
Or bushes, OF trafsPsrts, 90 su-h silly a,,oas-
I, ~as one Of the qaltest businos' transactions,
With very small sprinkllng of sentiment, any,
And a very large diamond inP1r,el by Tiffany"
Our author
:. Having thus woosi Miss MFirnssy AMI gNlnsl Asr,
With the silks, erino,ines, ani hoop, that contained
her,"
hc thought he would jus; drop in TO see i
she would 90 to the Stuckup's Grand Ball
and was surprised to fni that she had
nothing TO wear" lie venturcd to men,
ton some twenty dresses, rich, costly aud
rare, which She had spoTtcd on great oc'
casons in Paris and elsewhere. to all o.
which Miss Flora intcrposed u decided W.
to--aS having been worn as many rs thrc,
times. or that another had one like, &c
Aitcr cXhausting the catalogue in despair
and finding Miss Flora had nothing I,
wear. our author ripped ont a word rathcl
rash. which broke up the session aud set
tied his hash
.s'Frldirs,icks, Is H. SIR IuOuisr the ceiling
Doc, nj hll dowa and crash y1uoh, you msn have n,
f-ioE,
You sslash. unn,tursl, u'Ibsr,l -rol.Jvss,
You s-t ycarsslvcs ~ patterns AID preachers.
Your silly pFeienss-vhy, vha, a rn,rc guess itls
Fray, what Do you know ofA slriin's necessities,
Ihave t'lI you AMI st,En yol I've nothing 10 wear.
AMI is rsSeily plain y1u nc, ouy don't care,
but you 10 not believe me, Ca,rs th' hose went .,i
hshcr,)
1 suppose n y0u darci you would cll Inl lar.
our engagement is ended, sr-yes, on The sp1ti
You're a brute, and monster, aEd-l don't knJw what
ImlIly suggested he uar,ls-IIo,tsnlot,
Pickpoel,i, aHl eaunisai, Tal TAR, auj shsif,
A. gentle ,xpl,lycs sL.ca might sire r.lieti
But ta.s o1iy Proyci az spark % The powder,
AnI the s.1rm lad ralsgi came f,s,sr AMI lOGler.
Il blcw ami rairri thuu, ryd, lghtrui, and hailed,
Intsjc.ous, verbs. prcnouns, I'm language qdt' faie
To express the abaslye, anl thea her aurear,
where brCust up an at oncs ~ teTrsn' of tears.
Ara my last saint, dcspa;rins attsm?, a! an obs
Erya,ca vas Iostlna tempest of sobs."
Our author feeling ~ior the lady an,
for his hat too" soon finds himself in hi
own quarters and ftll to moralizing:-
suPp5slng man bal The ws,ltho of he Car.
~ he Eussias T. bot, Or the rssi o. AS days,
on ts Whole, DO you ihlnk he vou have much to spar
Ifhs married q w0man ~ish no,Ling to wear :"
Our author, upon investigation promp
ted 10y this experience, finds 10 his horror
That the hlr ForA'. case is by ne mean, surprising.
Bot that there exists the Er,stss, distress
In oar kmais commaniy, solely arising
Prom me up.appiiei des,tulion Il dress,
whose unfprtuaaie victims are hhlng the air
With pliiia vail Of No,hias to wear
Researches ir some ofthe Upper Ten district.
Reveal the most painful ami startling statistics,
ofwhch ie, me meation only a few
In oas single house on the tifh Avenue,
Three young ladies wsr- bunI, all abuus twen,y.iso,
Who hare ben hrvc long weeks vlhou, thins new,
In the say u aancsd sks ami thu. e In the lurcA,
Are unsSie 60 70 To ball. concert, OF eharch.
~ another large msuslon near the sane place,
Was iOaad dsplOrablr, heart.IeRdng case
or entire de.titulisn of Drusssl'. point loce.
In a bsshb0ring block t,sre heBd In thres eal,s
TO.al want. long eoniinnei. % caners hair shasis
AMI a suffering family, ~hoss eas exhibits
The mss pressing need q rsaisrmias tlHPrts
One deserving young lady alnos, uhabls
T0saruye Coz the want of a Nc Russian .sble
AR'the-eJsnasl 10 the hsass sheu lts ~iaaler
Than usual. b e.uss her shasi isaf India
SIN anvshsr, sAsss krnes have b-en most terrible,
Evr since the sAi loss ofths s,saasr Psciae.
In whi,h sers enguipAsi, Bit ir,.si o. re,,sion.
(fOr ShOss fas shs perhaps .Ai have foaa sOasola
tiga, #.. t.r ..-
Or borne L. a. least. with sersss r,slEnA,loa.)
Bat tbs choicest % Fssus sleeves and col
Ever sent oai fou Pars sorsh thou.oais q dsnars,
AniAll as 10 siyls mos, recheress AMI "a e
The .ani VI "h'sA leaves hr ~ish nesAiax TO wear.