Raftsman's journal. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1854-1948, 1857-05-13
THE DISGUISED LOVER.

Ny friend Tom has a natural affection for
dirt, or rasher dirt has a natural affection for
Tom. 1t is to him what gold was to Midas
whatever he touches turns to dirt No mat
ter how white the cravat-no matter how i'm
maculatc the vest, the moment it comes within
the sphere Of Toms influence its whitcness is
gone, il is immaculate no longer. Dogs
sweeps and lamp-lighters never pass him with
out leaving upon his dress unequivocal marks
of their presence. Once, and only once 1 saw
him cross the street without encountering the
wheels Of a carriage. | opened my mouth to
congratulate him. and before l could utter one
word it was filed with mud. The careless
blockhead lay at my feet full length in the gut
ter. Al my earnest solicitation he once pur-
chased a suit Of precisely mud color. 1t was
capital idea. He crossed the street three
times he walked half mile and returned, in
appearance, at least, unscathed. The thing
was unprecedented. True, he was welcomed
by the affectionate caresses Of dog that had
been enjoying the GOODNESS of neighboring
horse pond true, he received shower-b bath
from the wheels of an omnibus. But to plas-
ter mud on Toms new coat was to ssgild re-
nheG SoId-to paint the N.Y.
''TOm will be neat man yet," | said, as l
witnessed the success of my plan.
In about half an hour it was my fate to meet
gentleman with seven stripes of green paint
on his 5ack-it was my friend Tom he had
been leaning against some newly painted win
dow-blnds.
His man Caesar declares that he escan't see
Il y, -. Il. 10
bracked - and his washerwoman, with prop
cr regard for her own reputation, has been
compelled to discard him, not from any i'll
will, but, as she declared, with uplifted hands,
ssif any one should ask me if / wash Mister
Smiths clothes, what could 1 tell them 2''
But there were few things in this world with
which Tom could have more easily dispensed
than the services of his washerwoman.
Having no other amusement one morning,
strolled over to Toms room. l assembled the
stairs, and heard his voice, in a very decided
tone, say
"But it must be done, and so there is an end
to it,
s.Really,'' was the reply, ''anything within
the limits of possibility but to make coat in
ten hours-I will promise anything in the
world but really fear L shall be unable to
perform this.''
''If double price would be any object"
ssCcrtainly, sir, if you insist upon it--cer-
tainly. l will put every man in my shop upon
tit shall be done in time. Good morning,
sir.''
The door opened, and fellow with shears
and measure passed out. What could Tom be
doing with a tailor
"Just the man wanted to see," exclaimed
Tom. ''I require your advice upon very
important affair-which of these cravats do
you think most becoming ~
And he spread before me some half dozen,
of every hue and fashion.
"Now, what in the name of all that is won
derful, does this mean, Tom ? A fancy ball,
is it? You have chosen an excellent disguise; (;
your most intimate friends will never know
you. But you cannot support the character; ;
if you had taken that of n chimney sweep,
now-but that would have been too natural
Tell me, Tom, what does all this mean ?''
"Why, the fact is, Frank passing hand
through his hair, redolent of macassar-s'I
have concluded-I think / shall be little
moro neat in future. You doubtless remem-