Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1857-11-18

hard shell Baptist was led on locuStS anu wiz
asses, but it means, my breethering the city 0
New Yorleans, the mother of harlots and hare
lots-whar corn is worth six bits bushel ont
day and marry red the next; whar niggers arc
as thick as black bugs in spoiled bacon ham
and gamblers, thieves and pckpockets are skit
ing about the streets like weascls in barn
yard-whar they have cream colored horses
gilded carriages, marble saloons with brandy
and sugar in 'em-whar honest men are scarccl
than hens teeth, and a strange woman once
TUX in your beluved preacher and bamboozled
him out of two hundred and twenty-seven dol,
lars in the twinklin of sleeps tail but sbt
can't do it again Hallclujah for they shal
gnaw file and flee unto the mountains OF Hep
sidam, whar the lion roareth and the wang
doodle mourneth for its first-born."
My breethcring am captain Of that hat-boat
you see tied up thar, and l'vc got aboard of hel
flour, bacon and oats, and potatoes and apples
and as good Monungchaly whiskey as you ever
drank and Pm mighty apt tn git big price
for it all. But what, oh, my breethring, would
it all be wuth if hadn't rclidgin? Thar'S
nuthin like relidgin my breetherins. It's bet
ter nor silver and gold jilncrack, and you ca'
no more get to heaven without it than jay
bird can fly without tail. Thank the Lord
Pm all uneddicated man, my brectherng but
rve sarched the Scripters from Dan to Bur-
shebce, and found old Zion right side up, and
hard shell rclidgin the best Of Tclidgin. And
it's not like the NIethodists what expects to git
into heaven by llollerin lclfire; not like Uni
vcrsalist what gifts upon the broad gage and
goes the whole hog nor the United Brcctlicr-
ing what shakes each other by the seats of the
trowers and tries to lift themselves into heaven:
nor the Catherlicks what buys thur tickets from
ther priests-hut it may be likened, my breeth-
ering, unto man what had to cross river,
and when he got thar the ferry boat was gone,
and he Just rolled up his brecches and waded
hallelujah for "they shall gnaw file
and flee unto the mountains Of Hepsidem, whar
the lion roareth and the wang-doodle mourneth
for its first-born"
P;,ss the hat broter Flint, and let every hard
shell shell out. Amen.
------<s<-
MULE VS.. RAMA friend some few days
since made lis laugh "consumedly," by relating
the following:
Not long since, our friend B, Of Mo
bile, was on visit to Look Out Mountain,
Georgia, and was much struck with the fact,
that fine jet of water was thrown mp above
the top of the cminence on which the Hotel
stands. lie knew it was brought from far be-
low, but lie was curious to know by what me
chanical contrivance. Walking around the jet
adlnilingly, he accosted-in his accustomed po-
lite and rather precise way-a plain countrylnan,
with:
-" l1. .-hiend, is this water forced up by a
RAN "-meanmg or course, tic NJ ytslssaiietsoil-
tlivancc so named.
Ram!' exclaimed tie countryman.
~ my lam !"
"No, sir. It's delned big Male, and hard
work at that Come here and III show him to
YOU"
And sure enough, friend D did, from a
different point of vicw get a view of the quad
rupcd hybrid working the machinery, and
agreed that it was pretty "hartl work"
Montgomery -E'1
WHAT KEPT ROXY FROM CoNrEssloH.--
"WLat may be tic cause" said an Irish culatc
to his parish clerk, that keeps Rory U'kcsi'
from confession, an from the Church service.
Peter Murrhy?"
"a sad matter it is, your honor-t's himself
that's got into bad way, anyhow"
"Och Peter" sal the culate, is it Delsin e
"Worsc, ye may depend" said the worthy
clerk.
"Sowl o. Inc, | trust it's not Atheism, or the
like o. that, Peter" exclaimed the pastor.
"Wor<c."
{" AM what in the name o'nature can it Le q
cried the astonisIlcd minister.
"By the powers, an it's rheumatism" replied
Peter Murphy, tam so it Is"
JOKE FOR A FARMER.-The French excel all
nations in studied cquivoque, but give us q
Yankee for the unintentional kind A western
New York farmer writes as follows to distin,
gllshed agricultvrist, to whom lie felt under
great obligations for introducing variety o.
swinc:-
Respected sir: went yesterday to the fail
at NJ. 1 found several pigs OF your species
there was great variety Of beasts, and l was
astonishcd at not seeing you there"
ABOVE SrEALrNc.-"Bily, how did you lose
your finger 2"
easily enough" said Bill.
~ suppose so, but how2"
"I guess you would Il lost your own if it had
been where mine was"
"That does not answer my question
"Wcll, if You must know" said Billy, 81
had to cut it of, or else steal the trap"
----<.<------
The love Of ornament crccIs slowly, but sure
ly, into the female heart. y little girl wilt
twincs the lily i'll her tresscs, and looks ut her
SELF i'll the clear strcam will soon wish that th'
lily were iadclcss, and the stream mirror. W.
say let the young girl seek tv adOrll her beauty
~ al 4, lnr nd mr.
heart, that she may have wisdom TO direct he
love Of ornament i'll due moderation.
NEWSPAPERS FOR PEcDUCE.-Thc Chicago
Tribune las tue following announcement il
large type, at the head Of its second page:
sThiS paper sent one year for three bushcl
of wheat, or six bushels Of oats"
---.----<s<---------
1t is stated that one fifth Of the cultivated Ian,
in England is sown annually i'll wheat. The ay
crugc yield is givcnat32 bushels per acre, which
VIC think is more than double the average yic
Of this country.
Drop hy Crop falls into the clear wcll.spring
of youth the bitter watcrof experience; andther
is no itcrcr this side Of the grave that cali res
tore the old purity.
"Julius, what part oh tie ceremonies do dc Ia
dies most admire when dcy 60 to. church ?
"Well, Pompcy, can't tell dat. What is it?
"Why. Oh course, It's dc hims.'
HANDSOME QrlLr.-Among the many object
of interest in the ladies' department at the Fai
was a quilt made by Miss Mamie Eubank, {
this city, and exhibited by africnd. 1t containe
nearly 5000 pieces, arranged with cxquisit
taste, the colours blending harmoniously, and fo
ming u very pleasing object TO look upon.
would puzzle II mathcmatitiom to complete til
number orsitcllcs in quilt of this description