The independent press. (Abbeville C.H., S.C.) 1853-1860, 1857-05-22
WHOLE NUMBER 2ll
The Twelfth Oysters Difference:

| N"u"iii ue n, ahusian lady OF great
consequence, formerly in the fashionable
world, returned lately to Paris; She had
oeen absent some years, and of course had
| been forgotten-but it was now necessary
to her happiness tlrat she would reconoucr
her former glories as the most adorable and
best dressed Of particularly the
latter. She called again upon her former,
drcss-lnaker, the most eminent of course i'm
her successes of toilettes, and confidcd TO-
her the problem and its anxieties. There
was to be a certain ball. Madame dc.K--
wished to appear first at that, in nearly the
costume of a Gabrielle d'Estrees. II was
promised.
=, On the morning of the day of the ball.,
Madame called upon the dress-maker. Tho
| aress was done. 1t was miracle of per-
| iect beauty! Twenty thousand francs worth
OF lace reposed softly on folds of tulle, plat.
ed as If 10y the fingers Of fairies. The cor.
sage was truly marvellous-5ut-oh, horrorE
when 1T come to be tried on, it was found
| impossible for Madame dc X - to en,er.
II! Against the hints and counsel of the
dress-maker 1t had been made upon her old
| measure
"Oh, desolatien inexprcssiLle! !" exclaimed
Madame, "what is to be done2 But it can
not be helped. You must set Instantly to.
work and make me another corsane ?"
"lmpossible !" said the mod;ste. 1--WE have:
but three hours, and thirty dresses to corr.
plete and send home in that timen "Ruf.
would Madame make one more effort 2"
Inc effort was made, and, this time, the
corsnge admitted Madame and her enlarge
ments. But she was very pale, and had
recourse every minute or two to her SALTS"
81 suftocate!" she painting1y cried.
MADAME will get accustomed to it, little
oy 'ttle," said the .faiseuse "And then.
with the exercise of the ball, the size d.
mn'shes. Fortunately it is ball, for if it
were n dinner party, Madame would be-.
Obliged to give up the DRESS"
Ihe sitting woman looked with glarina
eyes upon the speaker. "It is dinnerrS
she exclaimed with horror. "They dance
afterwards"
Then" said the dress-makcr, very posi-
lively, "it will be necessary for Madame to-
omit the dinner"
AND to this desperate resolve Madame de-
4 consented. She took the dress-ma-
ker home with her, ordered dozen oysters
ana bottle OF Bordeaux, and sent an apol-
ogy OF headache. She would make her
appearance in time for the dance.
Twelve oysters" exclaimed the modesto,
as she saw her customer 60 at them vora-
ciously. "Please, Madame, omit one Eleven
are as many as your corsage will admit
Alas, Madame, the last oyster takes up a.
great deal of room !"
"Eleven be it, them" said Madame. with
a sigh. And leaving the longed for ultima.
tum on the plate, she completed her toilet
for the evening.
Her old friends found her figure charm
lng-her waist as slight as ever-herself
paler than she used to be, but still otherwise.
unchanged. And the gnawing sensation of
unaPpeased hunger which she had all the
evening, was consoled by the compliment.
OF her unrivalled dress and we'll remembered
and still beautiful figure. But another oys-
ter would have bursted the lacing of the;
adorable courage! And, (moral y to forego<
that twelfth oyster should be taught in the
discipline of female academies.
A VALID REAsoN~-Uncle Peter R., who
fiourshed few years ago among the noun
talns OF Vermont as an iaveterate horse
dealer. was one day called upon by An anna
teur OF the "equine" in search of something
FAST The results told as follows, in the
Northern Gazette;
There" said uncle F., pointing to an AMI.
NAL in meadow below the house; "there,
sir, is amare yonder who would tret her
mile in two minutes and twenty seconds,
were it not for one things
"lndeed ?' cried his companion.
eyes" continued uncle Peter, "she is four
years old this: spring, is in good condition.,
looks weli,i and is a fiist-rate mare; and she
can 60 mile int2:2o, were it not for one
thing" -.
"Well, what is it." was the query.
~rhat mare" resumed the jocky, sis I'M
every respect good piece of property.
She has heavy name, switch tail, trots fair
and square, and yet for that one thing She
can't 60 mile in 2:2O."
"What in tho Old Harry is it then Z" cried
the amateur, Immediately.
"Ihe distance is too great for the time"
was the old wag's reply.
DEscR1rTIoN OF ONEs Own WEDp1sa.-
McDarty, thefacetious editor of the Brads-'
town (Ky) Gazette, was married last week.
We areindebted to his owp.pen fort fol.:.
lowing description Of the party: :.
+. D1ringour visit to BulIitt county ws
heard of part, land concluded to attend.
Have an indistinct memory Of ceremony
having transpired where snndry pefsons
were assembled : where Ggnifed gentle
ruan in yestments asked nervous gentlal
man in spectaclessie lie was wiling to do soi
for the,future, in,regard to 4 figure, under d
veil in hswieinitg md the: nervous gentle.
that MA asked Of him sff9tfs oins;Is,