New Orleans daily crescent. [volume] ([New Orleans, La.]) 1851-1866, 1857-04-06
About Those Boots.

Must meet Bombastes face to facea'
Recalling an old laugh the other day and trying to
remember what caused It, we betnouehl ourselves OF
fond of relating in years past 1t occurred on board
the !" Lexington, y on her journey from New York to
Providence. The hero was Vermont lad OF twenty
five sharp enough in horse trade, but verdant IN
everything else, who had just sold string OF nags
in New York and was working round home via Prov.
denee and Boston. Het turned in pretty early, and
turned out about sunrise next morning. with the
idea of .sgong up stairs" he called it. Soon after
he had put on his coat and hat the passengers were
astonished by a hideous cutlery from Vermont"
What's the matterr said quizzical looking
| gentleman in green glasses. Il ~
| !" Matter matter enough, reckon J! said the
Yankee. Here's some outrighteous Individual has
gone and stole my bran new cowhide butes, cost me
twenty two York shiiings and left me these ere slip
pers, made out O. yaller dogskn not worth darn
:" Hush I" said the man with green glasses don't
speak so loud. It's a common occurrence on board
this boat. Some of the niggers must have done it.
Did You ever notice that all the steamboat nggers go
well shod?"
:WalI, / have, old boss! and that accounts for il
hey? Speak! speak out! 1t does account for it
| "Hush yes, it does.' .-, j-ae .H7g AZ. 5s4
"Wall, I'll heller cap'n, and get the boat stopped
till find my butes-cost twenty-five shillings in York
| i will, by gravy
"No. no don't make row. If you do, the thiefn
throw them overheard. No, no! you watch the mig
gers and when you find the delinquent, take him to
the captains Office and make him settle"
| "IH settle him amt going to throw away pair
of twenty-five shllin' butes, no how" 7.a74 7'fi
| 1t afforded much amusement to the man in green
glasses and his cronies, to the Yankee shuhlng
and scufing about the cabin in yellow slippers dodg-
ing every darkey and examining his feet. After
weary search he came to his tormentor, and said:
I'm goin mp stairs to pirate around there, and see
if can't trail EN-" 81 3tt sTFtN 2" !L
So up he went and the cabin passengers could hear
his heavy tread and scuf of his slippers all over the
deck By-andby he came down AGAR, just as shiny
African, with pair of polished boots in his hand,
nj fny-or Ic tho nkpnfS hort
drawing the curtain to peep in, Vermont Lit on him
like fierce cat seizng him by the scruf Of the neck
| and Yelling t.s,...
Day & Martin boiled down to the spirit Of darkness.
and mixed up with the hypersulphate Of rascality!
After my wallet, was you? Come along with mel
"Lemme gon' said the indignant d1arkey, strng-
Cling to get free from the iron grasp of his antagonist
"Not as you knows on, you rambunchous old woo!
grower!" said the indignant Yankee. I've handled
severer colts than you be- And he dragged the ter
red black up the cabin stairs, followed at safe dis
lance by the gentleman in green glasses and his COM
| panons. a-
Bringing the cuprit before the captain, he told his
story and agreed to abide the decision OF course
explanation followed, with verdict for the defend
ant, and the plaintiff sentenced to pay nlnepence to
| the injured African. 1tz3@if - F
| !" Sold, by naple!" said Vermont. Here, niger,
here's quarter, and give me the butes but If can
catch that man in the green goggles, pickle me if
| don't heave him into the Sound.' WI
1t is needless say that while the boots only
nan on Tile gentleman WIN green glasses
and was the first man to make himself scarce when
the boat touched the wharf at Providence.
|
When is amplighter like cowardly soldier?
| When he fires and runs away. .a
| +, TlME.-Time is but stream go fishing in. L
drink at it but while l drink see the sandy bot
TOM and detect how shallow it is. It's thin current
slides away, but eternity remains.
In French translation of Shakespeare, the passage
Frailty, thy name is woman. !" is translated I" Made
moiselle Fraity is the name of the lady,
A lady occupying room letter B, at one of our
hotels, wrote on the slate as follows:
+" Wake letter B at Z and if letter says, let us
be- don't let us be, nor let letter be- because if you
let letter be- letter will be unable to let her house
to Mr.. B., who is to be on hand at halfpast 4"
The porter, better bootblack than photographic,
after studying the above all night, did not know
whether to wake letter b, or " let her be-
When man asks for bootjack to pull off his
gloves, you may fairly conclude he has been dining
with friend
In Kentucky barrister has taken ont patent for
cracking jokes. -1 ..TT
GENTLEMAN AND NO GESTLEMAN.-The late vicar
of Sheffield the Rev. Dr. Sutton said to the late
Mr.. Peech, well known veterinary surgeon. Mr..
Peech how is it you have not called on me for your
account ~ oh" said Mr.. Peech, " l never ask q
gentleman for money? Indeed, said the vicar:
then how do You get On if he Gnt pay Why hy
not gentleman, land then ask him."
met her at sunset bright her bingham gown was
blue her eyes that danced with young delight were
of the same dear hue and always when the sun
goes down, shall think OF the girl in the Bingham
gown.
The man who thought he could learn to make boots
by swallowing sherry COOLERS, has just got out work
in which he attempts to prove that by eating hops
you will acquire knowledge of waltzing.
The only class of men in the world who are not in
the habit of disparaging their neighbors are the
assessors of taxes for it is well known they never
"underrate " anybody in the slightest degree.
A little girl asked her sister, awhat was chaos,
that papa reads about p The elder child replied
"Why, it is great pile of nothing, and place to
put it ill.," a.-.
The Sacramento Times says, in the course of
port of the proceedings at public dinner, q The
Mayor of the city and the ladies' ETC., were appro-
priaey and elegantly drank and the party separated
in fine cheer.n
In Spain the common form of salutation is How
do you stand? p In drunken Glasgow the usual style
Of salutation is What are you going to stand?a