Delaware weekly Republican. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1841-188?, 1857-09-10

Gu Tor dinner, replied. An appetite, good
company, something to eat, and a clean nap.
Ufthe Spanish books, says Montesquieu, the
, only one good for anything is that which was
written to show that all the rest were good for
nothing.
a Clergyman observing a poor man by the
roadside breaking stones with pickaxe, and
kneeing to get at bis work better, made the
| remark
Al, John, wish could break the stony
hearts ofmy hearers as easily as you are break
\ ing those stOnes'
Perhaps, master, you do not work on yopr
kHees,' replied the man.
$50 it bobtall he's gaining on you,' is DOW
rendered claslcally, Proceed Roberts ex-
tremity, the gentleman In the rear Is approxl-
mating to an inconvenient viclninity to the
| long tuiinal appendlge which Huhtends the
lower extension OF your caudal elong atiou.'
sYou are from the coantry, arc you not sir1'
asked dandy bookseller OF home dressed
Quaker, who had given some trouble.
| Yes.'
| calyes'
That replied the Quaker, as he turned to
loaye the shop, thee had better present to thy
| mother
Joseph, where is Africa
On tho map, sir.
moan, Joseph, or what eontinent-the east
ern or western
Well, the land of Africa, is on the eastern
continent, but the people all ofom are down
South.
How do the African people liTo3
BY drawing.
BY drawing what, water
No, sir. by drawing their breath.
Sit down, Joseph.
ma nrort d. +, - a. t---.t..Yuu rt.a-
will sufficiently explain his ignorance, real or
pretended, Of the proper appertenances of
fashionable lady's apparel. A day or two since
ne was on his way In the metropolitan cars to
Roxbury, and happening to notice tho bottom
of an embroidered, skirt, he attempted to pick
it up, under the impression that It was a hand
kerchiaf belonging to the lady at whose feet it
lay. He soon discovered his mistake, however,
aud so did the lady; after which he opportune-
ly remembered an errand near by, and giving
the string an energetic pull, Left fully deter
mined never to attempt to pickup anything re-
scmbling pocket hsndkerchiefin future.
| FREEEIyG THE PLACE up.-A Jealous young
preacher not long since was urging the claims
OF his particular church to the confidence of
his hearers, and duclaining roundly against
| that OF others.
'My brother ah, said he, jist look ah, there
is the Presbyterian church, with its predesti-
marian doctrines, that sends people to heaven
whether they will or no ah, what do you think
OF sich a doctrine ms that ah? Aud then
there is the Baptists who don't believe any one
Il christian that hasn't been dipped ah, what
do you think Of sich religion as that-ah. And
then there is tho 'Pscopaians who havo moro
religion than tho old Pharisees ah, and who
make prayers long cnoul h-ah TO freeEe hi
over ali, what do You think o. themah?
A MINISTER NoNPLUssRD.-The Rev. Matfl-
ew Wilkes, was once passing through one Of
lalc rults heh arA
a carman, who found great difficulty in getting
his vehicle along, owing to numerous obstruc-
tion hg met with, cursing and swearing at u
trO,nondoas ratio He quietly went up t6-thsr
offender, agd tapping him gently on the should
er, said to him
'Ah for that cursing and and swearing, OF
which you have been guilty, will appear q
witness against you on that great day OF judg-
month
j con, yes said tile carman to his clerical re-
buker, tho biggest rogue always turns kings
The minister in relating this anecdoto to his
friends, owned that this answer SO completely
nonplussed him, that he was Obliged 10 walk otf
without saying word in reply.
MopEI WoMAN.--'Do you NOT say, Ellen,
| that Mr.. d. is poor p
Eyes, he has only his profession.'
'Wil your uncle favtr his suit p
mo, and can expect nothing from him.
'Then, Ellen, you will have to resign fash.
onable socety.'
'No matter, shall see more of Fred-'
You must give up expensive dress.'
'0h Fred Rdmires simplicity
'You cannot keep carrldge.'
'Bnt we can have delightful walks
'fou must take a small house and furnish IL
plainly
'Yes, for elegant furniture would be out Of
place in a cottage.'
you will have to cover your hoor with
cheap, thin carpets.
'Oh, well then, I can hear hia stem thu
sooner.'
LABLAcHE AND Tom TuuxB.-We recently
heard an anecdoie OF LLbldche, the eminent
vocal I, which VIC relate Tor the amusement of
our readers. II happenenei that the grrat
basso and Tom Thumb were in the Ra,ne hotel
at Paris when pays7i, who had heard of the
great little man, came up from Epna tu Paris
on purpose to get II signt Of this Hiultun1 IN nay
30. The exhibition was closed, aud Tom was
TO qlit Paris the next day. The countryman
must and would sec hln. tsWnsre dill he
lodge" "Ilotel de Paris " PAYS hurried TO
tho hotel NJ. Ponce-'First flight, left hand
door" In moment he found himself in tho
presence OF p. T. Birnum, Esq. Poor simple
ton The fame Of Mr.. Barnum had not yet ex-
tended TO Epinll he told his story, and urged
his suit with such pertnacliy that Darnuul at
length pretended 10 yield. "Mr. Thumb is
not here at present. You will find him in tho
room JUST oNeFncau,' Inc COuntryman mount
ed tho stairs and rung at Lablsehe's door,
"Pardou,' said ho, entering, SCI was told
that Mr. Thumb lived here" Lablache, who,
II is well known, rejoiced in tho most ample
| proportions, took the joke at once. "Come in
come in-I'am Tom ThumbI'' "Whst what"
said tho potrihed provincial, ''you Mr.. Thumb!
| thought he was no bigger than my thumb"
"fcs, sir, replied the universal baSso, s'when
| in public compress myself aud am very small
indeed, but when at home I put myself at my
ease" The countryman returned to Epinh,
| oppressed, probably, with all awful sense Of
the knowledge and power OF the Leople who
had invented the electric telegraph, and who
could compress giant into piglny
THE REISOS Why.
"Why does Kate look so pale, motherf
Why are her arms SO small,
Why does she never smile, mother,
Why do her eyeiid5 fall.
TWhy does she walk alone, mother,
As il she had no friend,
! Why does Sue sigh 50 Oft, mother'
Is she near her END.
"Why docs sho breathe 30 quick, mother,
, And start as il II shOcked her,
To hear the quiet rap At eve,
OfSmith, tue village doctor.
, "why does he como so oft, mother,
Can he prolong her days,
BY leaving pals md gifts and BOOKS
, and singing moGrnfal lays.
U,Twas but the other night, mother,
Whom Kate lay near my heart,
She urged me to be good, mother,
, And said We soon must part.
, oSbe said she was to go, mother,
AWAY from homo and me,
And leave papa and you and Ed,