The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1857-08-01
Muggins' Experience.

The /" Local of the Chicago Press is
:" q trump" He has seen something of
the world, and knows how to put his OBJ
servations on paper. The following hu-
morous sketch will give the reader an
inkling of his style:
Muggins, produce and commission
dealer, was sitting i'll our sanctum one
sultry afternoon last week The good
fellow was decidedly at leisure, while we
were most emphatically busy, but he
didn't seem to be offended at our reserve
some of our visitors are not-and he
filed up all the pauses himself in most
obliging way He was talking Of the
city, we were writing of the country
we were trying to say something pretty
abeut green fields and babbling brooks,
and he was kindly initiating the brooks
aforesaid with stream Of small talk
about city life and city scenes, cockneY
as he is.
We kindly read him portion Of what
we had written,--a pastoral sort of an
item, in which we gave our swain cool
ing and grateful bath in purling stream,
willow shrouded, pebbly bottomed. is
not that a pleasing picture?'' said we to
Meonidas.
He shuddcrcd.
We observed it, and asked if he was
unwell. He recovered his self-compo
sure with the struggle that marks the
really great mind, and gave uttcrance to
the emphatic monosyllable, Z" Bosh -
We knew he had reason we never
suspected his doing anything without a
reason, certainly not in pronouncing such
verdict on our harmless rural scene. lie
looked communicative we assumed the
intorrogatiye. With some little reluct
ancc he told his story.
/ Muggins has a maternal uncle in Kane
County, whose goodly acres stretch along
the banks Of the placid Fox, and whose
/ buxom daughters, Meonidas cousins, arr
among the confessed bellies of the valley
! Last season Muggins left this city on
! Saturday morning by railroad to pass
| the Sabbath with his relatives. He was
attired in spotless suit of linen, and
! fattered himself that he should create 4
sensation in the dcaoon's pew on Tho
morrow. A short ride and he dismount
cd at the station, wended his way to-
wards the far'n-hdhse, stopped in the ad
jacent shade to dust his patent feathers
aud then beamed in upon his aunt, who
busy with dairy matters, informed hin
that his uncle Josha was out in the mea
dows haying. and that the girls were oul
for a walk; but if he would walk int
the best room
No, he would not do that !; he woule
stroll down into the meadow himself ht
strolled. After a half hours llstles'
wandering, he came upon the river bank
Near by was cluster of trees, whose
boughs, interlacing with those Of th'
elms on a small island in mid-stream
buried in deep and most delicious shade
quiet nook where the waters lay cieal
and calm, save where q wantoD fish dis
turbed the surface into ripples, or vaga
bond grasshopper went straddling out t.
sea to meet watery grave.
Muggins paused. 1t was charming
1t was more, it was temptation, ant
Muggins couldn't resist it.
Near by stood farm wagon, left pro
badly by some one engaged in farm work
and carefully upon the vehicle did Mug
gins place his linen suit, and, soon dis
robcd, went in among the fishes. 1t wa
luxurious. 1t was luscious. Muggin
enjoyed it.
suddenly a rustlipg near at hand star
i tied him. lie raised his head just rs
huge and most uncompromising lookin'
yellow dog came slowly out Of a ciunp o
bushes and lcaped into the wagon, where
after preliminary sniff or two, and will
that peculiarly spiral mode of descen
chosen by all dogs Of calm and delibern
tive turn of mind, he stretched himsel
upon Muggins spotlcss vestmcnts.
Meonidas was horrifed II was hi
pet suit, and, within forty miles, hi
only. lie concluded to postpone fun
ther enjoyment Of his bath and re-entc
the land service, So he wadcd ashore an
approached the wagon 1t takes two +
make bargain, and on this occasion tn
yellow dog, whose yellow hair, and inc
and a-half Of stubby tail stood still an
: erect at the proposition implied, res
lutcly refused to be either a party Of th
j. first ~ second part, and sprung down &
NJ ,..t..i Il l,,j ~, .