Mariposa Democrat., 1857-09-17
Tn, reune..ee squire of The oldcn Time.

of Peter lizard. For many years he filed the
important Office known in various parts OF the
Union as Magistrate, Alderman, or Justice of
the Peace The following is a sample of
Squire Izards mode of proceeding:
gentleman by the name Of McMurran
was riding through c., where his horse
lost shoe. For replacing it, the blacksmith,
whose name was Enos Bldo, charged the
cool sum of an eagle--or, rather, two sove-
reigns. Naturally indignant, our traveller re-
fused TO pay snch an exorbitant demand, and
he was arrested at the suit Of the son Of Vul
can.
There being no other resource, Mr.. McMur
ran was escorted 10 the magistrates Office
back Of the bar.
After being introduced into the most august
presence of the Squire, and the charge stated,
the following dialogue occurred
"Wel', sir, what is your name?"
"McMurran, sir. I"
" "Humph, Mr. McMurran--no other name?
John McMurran, sir.
"No, Mr. McMurran--sc alias?"
"Of course have not, sir-I have no need
of one
"Where do you live, Mr.. Carrion?"
"My name amt Carrion-I told you it is
McMurran.
"Well, Mr. Mereton, did you make any
bargain for shoeing your horse?"
"No, sir.
"Thcn, Mr.. Burton, you acted, sir-excuse
me-like fool
."I don't come here to be insulted, sir, and
no man shall talk so to me i! +" cried Mac
al know you did not, Mr. Fulton-keep
silence, or III fine you-you acted, sir-don't
contradict me-lkc perfect fool-and let
this be warning, sir, never TO trust such
scoundrcl as Enos Bildo Che smitl) farther
than you can sling bull by the tail sir; Ito
the PLAINTIFF mean you-you skunk ! You'd
steal'the coppers off your dead mothers eyes
you poor, no souled hog.
"The sentence of the court is, that you,
Enos Bildo, shall have two dimes for your
work, which is all it is worth, and il you say
another word I'll knock you down. Clear
this court F"
Fully satisfied with this verdict, and highly
amused with this adventure, Mac went on his
way.
This way of confoundng names was ia
vorite hobby Of the Squire's, and he was an
adept in the art. On one occasion, when he
was summoned as witness before a State
Court, one Of the lawyers undertook to pay
him off in bis own coin. When the Squire took
the witness stand the following dialogue oc-
CURED:
"What is your name, sir
"Peter lizard F"
"TTow old are you, Mr.. Lizzard?"
"My name is Izard-Peter Izard"
al beg your pardon, Mr.. Gizzard, but am
a little hard of hearing this morning"
"Tzard, sir-Tzard.
"Ah, understand. Well, Mr.. Buzzard,
how old are your"
"Now look here, mister, that's not my
name, and I won't answer.
"You won't answer "
"You won't answer my question, Mr.. Triz-
see about that Now, sir, what's
your age, Mr.. Drizzle?"
The witness maintained dogged silence.
"Perhaps he had better spell his name for
you, said the court, choLing with laughter.
EYE" cried the witness. "zed-ay-ar-dee"
"Well, your honor I called him by that
name all along-Wease "
"Any fool might know it spells lizard "
shouted Peter
"May it please the court, /" intcrposcd the
attorney, throwing himself up with an air of
wounded dignity, 4" either this witness, Mea-
sells, must be removed, or shall withdraw
from the bar. F."
"You rascall" beloved the infuriated
Peter.
"Sheriff, take charge of the witness. cried
the court sitting for a moment its mirth, for
the only sober faces in the assemblage were
those the lawyer and witness.
INu Dc IduStu tdiNh oue RIAh> '@''
-" you and the court too, you low-lived vag-
abond!"
"A mittimus to the Jail for three days, and
S25 fine | " cried the court
He the Sheriff, came up to Peter to carry
him off.
"What's my name, Toms" called the
Squire, as he was led out.
"Peter Izard," was the prompt response.
The following day the Squire was pardoned
and his fine RENTED; but never afterwards
lid he venture to use the weapon that had
been so eifcctually used on himself
Too BAD-REALLy.-Th rose of Florida,
the most beautiful of flowers, emts no fra