Columbia Democrat and Bloomsburg general advertiser. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1850-1866, 1857-10-17
NltstelIaneous,
How his Hat Troubled Him.
Bf HAZEL GREEN, ESQ.

hfhb W uiihh upous VIZ Siio, peiN
"I was monstrous pious, and went to meet
ing every Sunday; but l have since GENE
to the conclusion that it was not so much
for the concern felt for the good of my
soul, as it was for the sake Of gazing
about the room, and thinking to myself
which girl was the pretticst, and which one
would rather marry.
"Well, one day singled out a girl
who, thought, cclipsed all creation for
beauty; in fact, I was soon hcad-over-
heels in love with her. But few moments
sufiiced for me to form resolution to sec
her home, pop the question, and, if possible,
to strike bargain Immediately. 1 was
all in tremblc. The sermon seemed
week long, and very uuinteresting. Many,
no doubt, were praying for their neighbors
and their neighbors' hildren, but with me
it was different--I was praying for the
meeting to break up. ..........
"At length the meeting did break, and i
broke with it--for my hat; but to my
surprise and modification, | could not find
it until after the object of my affections had
gotten so lar the start of me, that it would
have required quite an effort to have
VyvIiah.u Lu.. D--:1 90, tl,.-o Woo ono+har
consideration--my hat had been under
foot, and was so badly soiIcd that | was
rather ashamed to be seen with it on
Taking all these things iuto consideration,
l resolved to wait for the next opportunity.
81 From that time was changed chap.
could think of nothing but the girl I had
seen at meeting, except it was that Of per-
suading the governor to buy ne new
suit Of Sunday clothes. The old lady sided
with me in this last particular, and between
us both VIC succeeded in carrying our point.
l was rugged out III style-cloth coat, satin
vest, cassimerc pants, and to crown all, q
beaver that cost five dollars. This will fix
tlinss, .l,susl.t /, could | but see Lo. ..vu,
| might set her down as mine.
In a few evenings there was q prayer
meeting at Union Meeting House, and L,
with my new fixings, wen'cd my way
thither; not, however, until my mother
had given me much good advice concerning
the management of my new rigging-more
particularly my hat, as Lad but a short
time before got my old one crushed up at
! meeting.
! "I had not been in the meeting house
long, before she whom I most anxiously
expected came in and from thence until
the services were concluded, I was in o
sea Of trouble, lest some fellow should cut
p. me out, or something of the kind.
GAS soon as the congregation was dis
missed, 'yoked' her, and off we started.
!, When VIC reached her home the sun was
just setting, and so, to be mannerly, her
t old dad asked me to stay all night. had
! no objections. and after supper was over,
l told Betty (for that was the girls name)
o that I'd like TO chat with her little more.
She had no objections, but said we must
o 60 to the kitchen, as the old folks didn't
!. like to be disturbed by light in the big
:. room when they were to bed. TO all this
!, | consented of course, and so we were soon
0 on the very best of terms. / should have
been extremely happy but for one cause
the stamp of plenty, in the form of grease
was abundantly impressed upon everything
d in the room, excepting the chairs upor
= which We sat, and consequently l was muci
c troubled about my new hat. What shoul(
&c | do with it! | did not want to hav
5. grease upon it-no, that would never do
Y, Finally resolved to keep it on my head
al judging that to be the safest place. Beini
ut thus relieved. of my greatest embarrassment
re l went about the work of courting in rea
ID earnest
Of CATER many fine things had been said
n. and marriagc contract had been PARTIAL
IN entered into, proposed kiss. You ma
he be sure she refused, but insisted.
m scuflle ensued, which lasted until she wa
et completely exhausted, Being unable
al hold out longer, she turned up her prett
lips and saida IF you mast kiss me--her(
but don't you ever undertake such thin
nc ne again-you brute (" o.ta.'t gH.7a' 7.l
Ie. 81 stopped over to perform the operatio
at, when all of sudden, I felt an unu su
le- lightness about my head. Before l ha
'uu' time to think whether I was going to iai
,r' ~, or not, I heard kind of splashing abo
my feet, and casting my eyes downward
saw--grest hoavensl what did I see ?
SSs ,so There lay my five dollar beaver, complct
,at ly immersed in filthy compound of di
water, cucumber pccls, tatcr' skins, al