Holmes County Republican. [volume] (Millersburg, Holmes County, Ohio) 1856-1865, 1857-12-17
Wit and HumlOr.

A wag says of certain congregation
that they pray on their knees Sundays, and
prey on their neighbors the rest of the
week.
Sally Jones says that when she was in
love she felt as if she was in tunnel with
train of cars coming in both ways.
A modern tournist calls the Niagara riv-
er "the pride of rivers That pride GER
tainly has a tremendous fall.
Somebody says wife should be like
roasted lamb-tender and nicely dressed.
Somebody else wickedly adds, "and with
out sauce"
II am going to draw this beau into q
knot" as the lady said when standing at
the hymeneal altar.
We have friend who lives exclusively
on vegetables. He is quite old enough to
have wife, but his acquaintance despair
of his ever getting married unless he can
marry grass aoidow.
All reports as to character deal largely
in exaggeration. u never knew" says
wise man, "any one either as good or as
bad as he was represented"
@My notions of life," says Southy, "are
much the same as those about travelling;
there is good deal of amusement upon The
road; but, after all, one wants to be at rest.
A weak mind sinks alike under pros
perity and adversely. A strong and deep
mind has two highest tides-when the
moon is at the full, and when there is no
moon.
A negro preacher, referring to the Judg-
ment Day in his sermon, said: s'Bredren
and sistern, in dat day de Lord shall divide
de sheep from de goats, and bress de Lord
we knows who wear de woolr
"Sam, why am de belobed oh my heart,
Miss DiDah, de sunfower OBJ de bill, like a
kind OBJ cloth dey make in LowellT l
don't know nigger-why:" "Cos she's IN
m,5leached she-tingi'
We have heard good many touching
expressions of flial affection, but none
equal to the following which a Western
man really gave vent to not long since;
"My father was the only man 1 ever allow
ed to be sassy to me without licking him
lik thunder"
Trouble is a true chemical test of the
value of things. For while he who has
lost his fortune gathers his beloved ones
TO his heart and says, "Thank God, Tn
rich yet;" no man ever yet came from the
funeral of his only child and told over his
income, saying "Thank God I'm rich yet"
L
In country grave yard in New Jersey
there is plain stone erected over the grave
of a beautiful young lady, with only this
inscription upon it: "Julia Adams, died of
thin shoes, April II, 1880; aged l9."
A young lady who was rebuked by her
mother, for kissing her intended, justified
the act by quoting the passage-Whatso-
ever We would that men should do to you,
do you even so to them."
A number of women in Erie county,
New York, have called convention, the
object of W which is stated to be to '1gain
new knowledge of the nature and attri-
butes of man."
HoAx.-The statement of a newspaper
of a western town that there was not law
yer in the place, is now said to be only a
device of the editor for inducing persons 10
settle there.
An empty coxcomb, after having en-
crossed the attention of a company for some
time with himself and his petty ailments,
remarked to physician present, that he
could never 90 out without catching cold
in his head. "Because YOU always so out
without anything in it."
"Wherever GO" said a gentleman re-
markable for his State pride, am sure 70
find sensible and intelligent men from my
own State.- "No wonder, said the person
he was addressing" for every man of that
State. who has any sense, leaves it as fast
as he can
At several places in Southern New Jer-
sew an enormous amount of white cedar
timber is found buried below the marshy
ground, in the salt water, sound and fit for
use, and considerable business is carried
on in mining this timber and splitting il in
to shingles for market.