The western Democrat. [volume] (Charlotte, N.C.) 1852-1870, 1857-06-23
THE LcDeEs PRIVATE CLOSET.

The Lodge of. O. O. F., at W oodstown,
determined to have their Lodge room done
mp clean and nice, and it was resolved
unanimously that Mrs K. should be en-
ployed to do the j~b.
After the meeting adjourned, the guard
ian. who knew the inquisitive character of
Mrs K. procured a billy goat and placed
him in a closet that was kept as reservoir
for the secret things. He then informed
the lady of the wishes of the Lodge, and re-
quested her to come early next morning,
as he would tllen be at leisure to show her
what was and what was not to be done.
Morning came and with it Mrs K, with
her broom. brushes. pals, tubs. &C., pre-
pared and armed for the job, and found the
guardian waiting for her.
Nov, madam said he, "I'Il tell you
what we want done, and how we came to
employ yoa. The brothers said it was diff
fica!t to get any one to do the job, and not
be meddling with the secrets in that little
closet; we have lost the key and cannot
find it to lock the door. / assured. them
that you could be depended on"
.Depended on!'' said she, Il guess can.
My poor dead and gone husband. who be-
longed to the Free Masons, or anti Masons,
/ don't know which, used to tell me all the
secrets of ibe concern. and when he showed
me all the marks the gr;diron made when
he was initiated, and how they fixed poor
Morgan. | never told living soul to this
day. If nobody troubles your closet to
find out your secrets till 1 do, they'll lay
there till they rot-they will
Il thought so,' said the guardian, land
now | want you to commence in that cor
ner, and give the whole room decent clean
ing, and have pledged my word and honor
for the fidelity to your promise; now don't
go into that closet,'' and then left the lady
to herself.
No sooner had she heard the sound of
his foot on the last step of the stairs than
she exclaimed-'.Den't go into that closet!
I'll warrant there is a gridirop. or some
nonsense, just like the antimasons for all
the world, I'll be bound. I will just take a
peep and nobody will be any wiser, as
can keep it to myself"
Suiting the action to the word, she step
ped lightly to the forbidden closet-turned
the button-which was no sooner done, than
bah! went the billy goat, with spring TO
regain his liberty, Which came near upset
ting her ladyship. Both started to the door
but it was filled with imp e;nents for house
cleaning and all were swept clear from
their position down to the bottom of the
stairs.
The noise and confusion occas;oned by
such unceremonious coming down stairs.
drew half the town to witness Mrs Ks
efforts to get from under the pile of pals
tubs, brooms and brushes into the street.
Who should be first upon the spot but the
rascally door-keeper, who after releasing
the goat, which was cripple for life, and
uplifting the rubbish that bound the good
woman to the earth, anxiously inquired if
she had been taking the degrees,
talking the degrees" exclaimed the
lady. IF you call tumbling from the top
to the bottom of the stairs, scared to DEATH
taking things by degrees, have them and
if you brighten folks as you have me, and
hurt them to boot, I'll warrant they'll make
as much noise as did,
II hope you did not open the closet
madam" said the door~keeper.
open the closet! Eve ate the apple
she was forbidden If you want 9 woman
to do anything, tell her not to do it, and
she'll do it certain. | could not stand the
temptation. The secret was thege--l want
ed to know it. l opened the door, and out
popped the tarnal eritter right into my face
| thought | was a goner, and broke for
the stairs, With Satan butting me at every
jump fell pYer the tub, and got down the
stairs as you found US, all in heap
"But madam said the door-keeper.
you pre- in possession of the great secret
of the order, and must go up and be initia-
ted, sworn, and then go in, in the regular
way"
Irregular way" exclaimed the lady, 'and
do you suppose am going near the tarnal
place again, and ride that critter without a.
bride or lady.s saddle! No, never! I don't
want nothing to do with that man that rides
it. I'd look nice perched on a billy goat
wouldn't /! No, never. I'll never go
nigh it again, nor your hall nuther. IF I
can prevent it, no lady shall eyer join the
Odd Fellows. Why, I'd sooner be free
mason, and be broiled on a gridiron as long
as fire gould be kept under it, and be pulled
from garnet to cellar with a haltar. in pair
of old brooches and slippers, just as my
poor dead hu>b band was; he lived over it.,
but never could outlive such another ride
as took to- day.
WARNING TO TOBACCO CONSUMERS
A correspondent, writing from Kentucky,
states that the hog pcstil' nee has been
traced to some droves that passed through
!