Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1857-02-02
EVENING STAR
THE PIGEON EXPRESS MAN.
TFrom the Humors of Paloonh,Idos

In nearly all yarns or plays In which AN
KEGS figure, they are supposed to be a leetle
tue darnd ceute" for almost any BODY else
creating heap of fun, and coming out clean
ahead but that even Connecticut Yankees
the cutest and alfredest tight critters on the
face of the geGrtk, when money or trades in
duestion-are "d0ge' now and then, upon
tho most scientific principles, we are going to
prove.
1t is generally known in the newspaper
world, that two or three Eastern men, a few
years ago, started a paper in Philadelphia
upon tho penny principle, and have since been
rewarded as they deserved. They were and
are, men of great enterprise anG lberality,
as far as their business is concerned, and
thereby they got ahead Of all competition,
and made their pile. The proprietors were
always "fy" for any new dodge, by which
they could keep the lead of things, and me-
nopolize the news market. The telegraph had
not turned up in the day of which We
write-the mails, and now and then, express
horse lines, were the media through which
Great Excitements. Alarming Events Great
Fires and Awful Calamities :! were come at
One morning as one Of these gentlemen
was sitting in bis Ofice and a long lank &C.
MUS, with 4 visage as hatchet faced keen
as any Connecticut Yankees on record, came
in, and inquired Of one Of the clerks for
tho propretors Of that institution Being
pointed out, the thin man made lean towards
him. After getting close up, and twisting
and screwing around his head to see that 10
body was listening or looking, tho lean man
sat down very glngerIy upon the extreme
verge of chair, and leaning forward until
his razor-made nose almost touched that Of
the publisher, in low, nasal, anxious tone,
says he,
"Air yeou one of the publishers of this pa
per?
@ ALI, sir"
"Oh, yeOu, sir" said the visitor, again
looking suspiciousIy around and about him
did you ever hear tell Of the PiyGon En-
press !'' he continued.
The Pigeon Express" echoed the pub
Usher.
"Y-a-as Carrier pigcons-letters to their
Legs and newspapers under their wings
trained to fly anywhere you wsrn't en- ,"
Carrier Pigeons" mused the publisher
g Carrier-pigcons trained to carry billets-
bulletinS-and-,"
chimed in the stranger.
True so they say, very true," continued
the publisher, musIngly.
Elegant things for gettin' or sendin' nOos
head of everybody else.''
"Precisely that's fact, that's a fact,''
the other responded, rising from his chair and
pacing the floor, as though rather and deci-
dedly taAen by the novelty and feasibility of
the operation.
You'd have 'em all Mister, dead as NUT
ton, by Pigeon Express"
&" l like the idea good, frst-rate, :"
"Can't be beat, noheow!" said the stranger
"But what would it cost ?'
" Two hundred dollars, and small wagon
to begin on"
"a small wagon p;
"Y-a-a-s You see, Mister, the birds haf
to be trained to fly from one pint to another
"Yes, welI?"
"Wa-all, yeou sec the birds are put in
box, On the top Of tho bildin', for spell, to
git the lang Of things, and SO on :"
" Yes, very we'll; go On"
Then the birds are put in q cage, the
trainer takes EN- in his wagon-ten miles at
frst-:hrows EN- up, and the birds 60 to the
biid;n', Next day fifteen miles and so FORTH
yeau see
Perfectly; L understand, now whero can
these biTds be had! ?"
Putting his thin lips close to the publishers
opening ears in low, long way, says the
stranger
"IvegOt en-! R-a-l-e Persian birds, be.e-u-
tisu"
"YOu understand training them ," says the
anxious publisher.
/" Like q bo0k ;" the stranger responded.
"W here are The birds? ?" the publisher in
quired.
I've got 'em down to the tavern, where
I'm stoppin ="
Bring them up; let me sec them let ne
see them :"
Certainly, mister, of course" responded
the Pigeon Express man, leaving the presence
of tick!ed-tCdeath publisher, who paced his
oflce as full Of efervescence as jimmy john
Of spruce beer In dog days
About this tlEo pigeons were being trained,
a favS nd /,
carry messages for lottery ticket venders in
jersey City, 10 Philadelphia, Wilmington and
Baltimore but these exploits rarely paid first
cost, and did DOt amount to much, although
some noise was made about the wonderful per
fOrmance of certain Carrier Pigeons But the
paper was to have new Impulse, astonish all
creation ard the rest OF mankind, by Pigeon
Express. The publis hers partner was in New
York, fishing for novelties, and be determined
to astonish him on his return home, by the
btrd business A coop was fixed on the top of
the Z" bildin, as the great inventor of the ex-
press had suggested; the wagon was bought,
and, with two hundred dollars in par funds,
handed over to the Pigeon Express man, who
in the course of a few days takes the birds into
his wagon, to take them out some few miles
throw them up, and the publisher and con-
fdential friend were to be on top of the " bill.
din, looking out for them
They kept looking they saw something
worry like a whale, but good deal like a
first rate bad SELL The lapse Of a few DAYS
was quite sufficient to convince the publisher
that he had been taken in and done for-reg.
ularly p1cked Hp and done for-upon the most
approved and scientific principles. Rather
than let the cat out Of the bag, he made up his
mind to pocket the shGve and keep shady, not
even letting on to his partner" who in the
course OF the following week returned from
Gotham, evidently feeling as soft as silk about
something or other.
"Well, what's the new in New YOIk-got
hold OF anything rich?" was the first interrog-
atory.
I'll is h! close the door" was the reply,
indicating something important On the tapiS
80, my dear fellow, I've got concern,
now, that will put the sixpennies to sleep as
sound as rocks 90
No What have you started in Gotham ?p
Exactly. If you don't own up the corn
that the idea is grand -immense-I'n knock
under"
Good I'm glad-particularly glad you've
found something new and startling, " responded
the other. "Well, what is it 7''
t G reat !-WOpde rful l-C1rrJsr DJgso,s 80