Butte record. (Bidwell, Butte County, Cal.) 1853-1858, 1857-06-13
Leap Year; or lost Opporfuni'
ties.

| l. -
prised, ind ed astonished, to see so
many single ladies. and 20 think that
Leao Year has just passed away!
Why, there is my old-naiden aunt.
VIII m l know might. had she tri d,
have secured for herself u husband,
brcause she has accomplishments which
few other candidates for matrimony
possess True, she cannot perform
.,st .nishinglv on the piano, nor touch
the harp gently but l know that she
can play WONDERFULLY nd with express
sion, on that domestic and ssary
article -the acash board What tho
she can't preside with such grare at
the luxur'antly spread table, or "trip
On nhe light fantastic toe'' she can
cox the victuals thereon, ami engage
in d good, common sehse conversation
and is always we,come guest a, a
corn -husking.' or Quitting and no
one can excel her in picking wo ! All,
but ms aunt is It fashionable, city
lady, and of course if she can cook, is
considered very common by such per-
sons.
But, as t was sayirg before, why
are there so many single ladies. and
Leap Year just gone by' Pm sure |
can't account for it, unless it is because
the ladies who had the courage to pop
the question, were decidedly rejects d
by the masculines who we're so honor
ed. If such be the case, of course
MANY were discouraged thereby Bu,
could it be sol Would not all Of the
fire in woman's nature be kindled, and
if there WIS such thing as broom
-tick or a cuigel i'll reach. think you
not that there would app ar before the
Recorder the next morning, man
with black eye, and much injured
pouting female For what would a
woman not do for revenge' But here
is another question. Would any man
be SO mngallant as to positively refuse
a LADY,
We'll that certainly depends upon who
size is, and who he is. If he be a MN
who is supported by wbalcbones thu
confne his waist, one who lingers in
he vicinity of linct table, has small
hands and feet, curly hair, NOUS
tache. and is what he would probably
call himst.lf, regular lady killer
he perhaps would not be the une to
refuse, provided the fair one possessed
a be ,utifui c"unteG ance, a small bon
net, prodig ous hops, and last, but by
no m ans least, goodly amount of the
'oro.' That would be one match, but
| shuuld MT want to look after them
beyond the marriage ceremony.
On the other hand, wa the gent!e>
IN N good, sensible individual, who
possesses all the requirements that con-
stitute a man, and were she true
hearted. virtu us woman, m st p'r>ons
would ciucide in saying that it was
match made IN heaven. However.
such matches as the latter are se!dum
made, especially, during Leap Year.
Bat l expect the ladi have been
too hashful TO try their luck often, al
though they only have the opportunity
of doing so once in four years.
Why, ladies, it's too b ID, indeed
Just think, there are my old bachelor
fri-nds, Mr.. A and NJ. b., each of
whom has seen about tsrty summers,
but notwithstanding tha:, would lcok
very well, as th'y wear wigs and false
teeth were it not for that awful and |
uever-end.ng rheunatism, which they
both are 50 afflicted with. Puer old
gentlemen
My old aunt is great nurse, and
therefore she ma frequently prescribed
rem dies for their ailment, but they
are such confirmed old bachelors that |
they know nothing about the culinary
department, and consequently can ot
prepare anything, as of course it would
have to undergo divers cooking pes-
ce ses b fore it would be ready to ap
ply.
Then they come in from their connt |
ing rooms to their private apartments
ia a boarding house, and t..kIng cl-
gar, sit down by the stove { which has
no FIRE in it, becau.e they are, as they |
say, to, much fatigued to make one,
and they read till those mean, rheuna-
tic pains come on, VIII they begin TO
lose their tempers for altnough b they
both have good hearth, yet you seldom
find two such invetrrate sc"lders and
grumblers, and if you should be so un-
fortunrtc as to step in to ses them at
that faanspicirus mument when al
st tch is taken in either OF their aecks,
why, if the door is near, you had bet
ter we'd, 1 shouldn't envy you
your situation, that's all.
Now suppose that some kind angel
of mercy las must WON n are) should
have popp d the que 'tion to Mr.. A or
Mr. b. and al. had passed off serenely
how those angels could have lowered
round and smothed the downy pill ws
of the old rheumatic bachelors! am
moreover - Gust put your 6neer on
lip "a minute) and principally. h'v th VI
could nave dressed out with Mr.. AS
aud Mr.. BIS forty thousand dollars.
Ah, now you hear me! but IT'S too
late-toe late.
Hereafter, ladies, 1 hope you will
sb de BY my jadg nrnt, and when next
Leap Yer comes, select some of th.se
old bachelors and take hem for better
or for vorse,' because [ am anxious