Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1857-09-03
Our THE PIKE, August, 2sth 1857

N'li IhE IlhE, august, Sotu 1901
Why don't somebody write from Morris.
town, if only to say we'er all well at pres
ent. hoping. &c. Why keep your ears eter-
nally pinned back with a goose quill, and
Fan in such painful suspensel Speak out,
who are you, or what are you! What do
you do, apart from reading Hurper-s last
and laying round the corners over filthy
"toby!" Trumpet, speak to Fen. Listen
to Belmont! Lord, what groans! Who
hit Hasty, and who did Hasty hit! Who
did Hasty hit! Who put Eye On's eye
QUIT What correspondent will determine
HIS genderl Don't over there, please
don't, you'll knock the hull county inter
pot; don't! Stand about for a squirt at
Clivet, chock full of rowdies, as I'm sim
ner. True as preachin'. Paper says so;
Edith says so; Citizen says SO; must be So
If they don't know, who does! Shoulder,
Edith! Temperance, that's the music
| Hail Columbia's no tchar! Forward, charge,
That's the step; you've got the thunder, oire
i, to 'em, Sina won't hit you. Guess Sina
wears gldsses-darsent throw stones. Rout
'em and scout 'em, nor leave a single man
Room, little room, for Lampsville, CON-
posed of seven items and ]. Nick. Very
good, what there is of it, and enough such
as there is. Nobody hurt, go ON, Stub6y.-I
Now, who are We! A country "Jake,'' of
course, but that's our business. What are
we doing! All we can, and the best we
know how. The loudest thing done lately
Strangled Bacchus, and thereby smote the
cheek of Satan. Our recipe! One hum
dred and twenty-five gentlemen, and half
as many ladies mustered beneath the BAN
Fer of red, lohite and Glue.
Murderers. eh! Yes, by warrant Of the
law of God, who follows! Fall in the rear
And dog fights! Now, indeed our dogs don't
fight, cause we keep them "to hum," and
send the small folks to school, every mothers
son of them-Sunday' not excepted
Please pass that round And where's pa?
Well, pa is reading the CHRONICLE now;
but then he's done harvesting. who wouldn't
stop the plow an hour 20 read the CHRoyI-
Gle! And such bounteous harvest, 100;
our very poultry seem to say after filling
their spacious craws,
We ha- meat an we can eat
And say the Lor be thanked.
And ma? Busy as a mailer. And sis!-
Lock about; halloo! All, there she comes
What on earth! basket of ripe apples, as
| live! Away to the orchard this morning,
nearly an hours walk, Sun Just red in the
Orient. Had ride on 'Filly No. L" DER
the meadow: chased the cows out of the
corn; gathered that delicious fruit and home
again. Hear that ringing, CHEEKY laugh,
and see, oh, see, that horrid crimson spot
on her dimpled cheek! Now jist hold on,
city gal, that's none of your red, powdered
stuff, nor taint fever nuther, but it is the
"rose tint of tealth," gathered by exercise
in the first breath OF Heaven, in early moin,
when ''sluggards sleep;" or twas the kiss
Sol gave her when first he peeped above
the hill tops. Kiss her again, Sol, who
cares! Kiss US all that way, and soon we'll
dig a hole at the feet of Bacchus, and inter
Brandreth, pill-bags and all, and build him
a monument of squeaking piaaerS, and
stucco it with the last novel, dice, dominoes
and the devils last invention. Belmont
girls are all for reform, try this.
Hoops are all right. Sensible people
wear them among the females, and those
of the same class among the males say moth
ing against them. Go on, gals, you're all
together luvly. If were a--a--l'd Instruct
you how to keep cool, es well as to keep out
of fashionable saloons-thoSe sitting rooms
10 eroggeries. Go 10 the kitchen, and there
substitute for sGrdineS No. 8 mackerel,
for Xxx ale Adams sparkling ditto. for ice
cream, cream and peaches, and three of
your poughteighteaux, with "butter plen-
tv," won't hurt.
Nuff sed al once. BALPH.