The Tiffin tribune. [volume] (Tiffin, Ohio) 1848-1859, 1857-11-27
a Dootor asiaa nootor.


A self.sutllcient humbug who took M
the business Of physician. had deep
knowledge Of The healing art. was once
called to visit . young man afflicted with
apoplexy. Bolus gazed long and hard eel.
his pulse and pocket. looked AZ his tongue
and his wife, and finally gave vent 10 The
following sublime opinion:
II think he's gone fellow"
mo, mol" exclaimed the sorrowful wife.
"do not say that"
"Hes," returned Bolus, lftinr up his
hatand eyes heaycuward at the same time
yes | do say so; there arn't no hone.
not the leastest might; he's got an attack
Of uihillit in his lost froulisE"
"WhoteP cried Ihe startled wife.
"In his lost fronts, and no cant be
cured without some trouble and great
deal Of pains. You see his whole plane.
tary system is deranged. fuslly. his vox
populits pressin' on his advalorum, sec
ondly hiscatadarpial outaneous has swell.
ed considerably, ir not more, thirdly and
lastly, his solar ribs arc in oououssed
state, and he amt got any money, oonse
quonlly he's bound to dio."
Look Sh this Picture, then "a Tb9t
The Albany Journal says: Eleven
States voted for Fremont and nineteen for
Buchauan--nearly two to one.
In the eleven States there are $4,000
Free Schools.
In the nineteen States there are 81 900
Free Schools.
In the eleven States there are 9, 900, 900
Of Scholars.
In tho nineteen States there are / 800
600 Of Scholars.
In the eleven States thero are coo Ii.
braries with 100000 volumes.
In the nineteen States there are sos
Libraries with $50, 900 volumes.
In the eleven States there are i2,OOC
Common School Libraries.
In the nineteen States there afe Is,
Common School Libraries.
In the eleven States there are 235 mil
lions Of copies Of newspapers.
In the nineteen States thero arc III mil
lions Of copies Of newspapers.
STATE SrooK.-A venerable LOOKING
ing sow was discovered this morning Il
the cellar of the new State House, with
eleven newly born pigs. This new issue
Of State Stock was not provided for b,
statue. - Columbus Journal, 0M.
/
re- "Have you heard the story aBOu
1887" inquired the facetious Mr.. g., ad
dressing his run-loying neighbor r.
"No, have not" replied b., let's hav
"It is too gross" said c.. hesitatingly
ooh never mind, can stand IL; let m
have 1t by all meana;" eagerly exOlaime,
IB.
al tell you il is too gross"
"All the better, it will just suit me;
like such jokes; bit shut the door there
and let me hear it,"
"Oan't do that, for G.. stands there Ii.
tening to hear mo sell you"
"Well, If You are going to sell me,
should like to know how you're going
do it. Let's hear what your 299 Is, that
too gross"
"You have heard il twice already.
replied O., with a grin. IL tell you 98t
being twice l44, is t'Oo gross"
THE DYiNG CniID.-I was greatl
pleased, says DR.. Thompson with litti
incident mother gave me the other day
a child lay dying, Feeling urusual sen
sation, she said
Mamma, what is the matter with me?
My child, you arc dying
well, mamma, what's dyinp?
'To you, dear child, il Is going /
heaven
Where is hoaven?'
'It is where God is, and the angels
and the good men made perfect
But, mamma, am not acquainted will
any Of those. and do not like to go alone
won't you 60 with me?'
ooh, Mary, l cannot. God has oalleC
you only, not me, now
Turning to the father, she asked IN,
same question. Then plteously, to eacI
Of her brothers and sisters, she repeate,
the same interrogatory, and received tn
same response. She then fell into gen
tie slumber. from which she awoke in
transport OF joy, saying:
You need not go with me; / can e
alone, have been there, and grandmam
ma is there. and gradpapa is there, ant
Aunt Martha.
Gov. CHASE A VoTER IN Kansas
! L.. =. a.