Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, Va. [W. Va.]) 1852-1859, 1857-07-01
TPor uhe In,eIlITencer.1


Wheeling, Virginia, saying:
Inasmuch MS the modern, progressive deLnoc-
iracy has made the most important part oil my
official duty to consist in making proper dis
tribution of the Spoiis among the leaders OF the
numerous factions who have rallied under my
I banner, and who have fought valiantly "tur the
lloavcs and the fishes aud as the applicants for
the Wheeling Post Office are both numerous and
urgent, hnnest and capable, patriotic ana deVo-
ted to our party, it places me under peculiarly
embarrassing circumstances, having been ch0S-
en- to the Office OF Chief Magistrate Of thiS great
nation by "a fusion of old-inc wings with Old
line democrats red-republIcans dsunlOnlsts
Southern firc-caters, Northern hard shells, soft
shells, and shells os every grade and rank, de-
gree and class, name and order, out OF every
nation kindred, tribe, tongue and people. II
scemeth good unto me, therefore, to take no
part in this matter myself, but shit the respon-
sibility of the appointment upon the shoulders
Of your Honor, their more immediate represen-
tativc who can have more intimate knowledge
of the views and wishes of our party there
than could have You will therefore proceed
to nominate Post Master for thern,-one who
has done great service for our party, and lac
shall receive the appointment from me, and DO
entitled to the spoils of that Office for the next
four years
and he was sore afraid, and his knees smote one
against the other, and he lifted up his voice and
said 40, Jimmy, live for ever May it please
Eyour sovereign honor, dear sir, allow INC also to
iclaim exemption from the embarrassing predic-
anent in which such course would place me.
AS am bachelor of like passions and feel
ings like yourself, having greater desire to be
at the head of the nation than at the head of a
family, should very much dislike to do an un-
popular act, or i'll any way prejudice my just
claims to that high honor and distinction to
which you have attained.
Let me therefore suggest a plan by which we
will be enabled to make an appointment which
will more eifectuaily harmoniZe our party than
the act Of any one man.
You know that my constituents have evineed
great wisdom i'll their choice of me as their rep
resentative in Congress from among the many
highly gifted and well qualified aspirants for
that high office, and their choice has given UNI
versal satisfaction TO all the democracy, and
hive no doubt but the same wisdom would be
exercised, and the same result follow were they
permitted to choose for themselves this officer
for "they would feel morbidly sensitive To any
influence which is not direct, plain aud open
that might exercise.
Let US therefore leave the choice of Post
Master TO themselves alone, and it will relieve us
lof all responsibility and ground of reflection
from any quarter; and as it regards themselves
at will be but three days bubble compared to
the exacerbations which must spring from the
action Of ,'.,eIi- -. i,
| w ngn oueTfafu nau euueu lIAtSc
there was great rejoicing in the Cabinet, and
4 Jimmy rose to his feet aud said: .'Of truth I
perceive that greater than Solomon is here
lit shall be even as thou hast said. Go to now,
make proclamation to the people, even rs 1t
seemeth good unto thee to make 1t.
And these sayings pleased Sherrnrd exceed
tingly, and he called together the wise men and
lobby friends of tile various applicants and said
unto them: get We home to your tents, oh We
patriots, and number your tribes, every man
| according to his tribe aud have them in readi-
ness, for will decree that "pOlls shall be opened
at s o'clock, and to close at o'clock p. NJ.
of Saturday the Goth of June next, at the usual
places of voting in tho several precincts or
wards of the city of Wheeling" "All those
i persons who reside in and who voted in said
city for James Buchanan ut the last Pres
| idcntial election, and others, shalt be
allowed TO Indicate one person as Post Master
| of said CITY," aud II shall remain East until
| this measure for the concentration OF public
sentiment is adopted" ''This arrangement is
proposed with the distinct Understanding that in
| no event, will the Department, or myself approve
of the selection of an incompetent man, or one
whose rcctitude is not beyond all question.
! And when it was noiSed abroad that Sherrard
| had made this proclamation, there was no small
stir among the faithful followers of the harmo-
NOUS aSpirants lest their bvOritc leaders should
| be overlooked in the division of the SpOiiS
/
| polls in great multitudes, and there they NUM-
bered their tribes.
And it came to pass, at the going down of
the sun, that it was proclaimed abroad through
out ali the camp, that Gen. Feeny had outnum-
bered all other tribes, and had prevailed. Then
! all the other tribes were very wroth, and their
countcnances were fallen, and they said one to
the other, little did we think when VIC were
| fattering the vanity Of these peaceable and un-
assuming subjects of his holiness, the Pope, in
order to secure their votes to us, that they would
ever ask more than the high privilege of voting
/ the democratic ticket, and thus show forth
their love and gratitude: but in this expectation,
/ we have been sorcly disappointed and deceived,
and have been made to bow to the sovereign
rule Of our foreign Catholic democratic brethren
Then answered the sovereign rulers of our
land and said, 'why should itb thought strange
thing in u.s. that we should demand our full
share of the spoils of office. Arc we not better
citizens than many of the native bornS? Never
theless, you, i'll the face of all your professions
of love for the foreigner and your confidence in
them as good citizens, have, when we ask loaf
given us the cold shoulder by staying away
from the polls. And when We ask fish, you
give US the serpent tongue of SANDER, thus Yer
Tifying the saying that is written: "rhey loved
US for our votes sake"
And when the Department had heard that
there was much strife among the Democracy,
Old Buck said unto Sherrard, Your days are
now numbered, you have been weighed IN the
balance and found wanting, your treacherous
Delilali has shorn your political locks, and you
have become weak like other men," But Sher-
rard said unto him, mot so my sovereign, let
me but speak the word, and the troubled waters
will be still. am man in great authority
say to one come, and he cometh; TO another go,
and he goeth All these leaders are at my SER
vice--I will divide the spoils among them ac-
cordiug to their families, and thus assuage their
wrath and SECURE INV own power and place, ~
So the time of the Wheeling Post Office was
divided between two, and fair promises were
made to the others for government patronage
And when Sherrard had disposed of these off
/ ces, Old Buck SAID "all that thou shalt require
of me, will do, and be obedient," and Shcr.
rard bowed his face to the ground and retired.
DIoGENEs.