Holmes County Republican. [volume] (Millersburg, Holmes County, Ohio) 1856-1865, 1857-09-03
Wit and HumOr.

Inc man VINO WreStleu Will ddV0TSlIy
wore out his silk stockings, and got worsted.
The young gentleman who went with an
angel in book-muslin, has returned with
termigant in hoops.
An Ilish servant left her place the other
day because she had to drink brown sugar
in her coffe. This is progressive age.
FAsHIoNABLE CALL AND ALL THEY SAID.
-"How do you do, my dear!' "Putty
well, thank you."' (They kiss "How have
you been, this age?" "Putty well. How
have you been?" avery well. thank you"
pheasant to day." ayes very bright
but we had a shower yesterday" care all
your people well?" "Quite well, thank
you; how are yoursY "Very well, Pm
obliged to you.' "Have you seen Mary
B.--lately?" "No, but I've seen Su-
san "You don't say SOL Is
she wellgn every well, l believe" Ris-
ing. aINnst you go!" "Yes, indeed; l
have seven calls to make" 9Do call again
soon." ''Thank you-but you don't call
on mo once in an age" "You should not
say so; I'm sure I'm very good" "Good
bye"
INSTINCT one of the exhibitions
of Mdlle. Vanderbecken's Oiseaur Her
veillear, before company of gentlemen
connected with the arts and literature, one
of the diminutive performers, upon being
directed "to stop opposite the cleverest per
son in the room," hoped knwingly in front
of the Editor of the Morning Advertiser,
and there chirped most significantly. Ey-
cry one began TO litter, but the mistake
was quietly explained. 1t seems there had
been an accidental change of actors. and
unfortunately the bird substituted was
hooking Bird!
Too BAD-REALLY.-The rose of Florida
the most beautiful of flowers, emits no fra
GRANGE; the bird of Paradise, the most beau
tiful of birds, gives no songs; the cypress
of Greece, the finest of trees, yields no
fruit; dandies, the shiniest of men, have no
sense; and ball room bellies, the loveEest
creatures in the world, are very often ditto
and little more sol
Calico, when under twenty years of age,
was standing one day in the metropolitan
church of Pisa, when he observed lamp
which was suspended from the ceiling, and
which was disturbed by accident, waving
backward and forward. This was thing
so common, that thousands, no doubt, had
observed it before; but Calico, struck with
the regularity with which it moved back
ward and forward, reflected upon it, and
perfected the method now in use for meas
uring time by means of a pendulum.
EDIToRs NOT GENTLEMEN.-I understand
said the black barber on the steamer, "dat
you is an editor"
"Well! what of that" said we.
ave neber charge editors muffin!
"But, my woody friend" we continued,
''there are good many editors travelling
nowadays, and such liberality onyour part
will prove ruinous business"
ooh! never mind" remarked the barber,
''we make it up off the gemmenr'
PINING.-Away in the pine woods, as
the old story goes, doubling lovers some
times disclose their secret souls, by sending
their sweethearts bit of pie, with char,
coal eve rudely drawn thereon: a. device,
that without Lexicon, the cruel girls trans
late, al pine"
Happy the wooer, so they say, who re-
ceives knot for an answer. What can be
more like little gospel than that eloquent
missive.-''pine not" a -'-
In Lancaster, Pa, the other day, a lady
was walking out with little dog as beau,
when tall, gruf-looking hound made a
rush at the little dog. The latter very ninl-
bly, skipped around the lady and disappeared.
The hound looking first this side, then that
then up in the air, and after taking turn
about the lady, walked off IN great as
tonishment; thereon tho little dog, wag-
ginc his tail with exceeding JOY at his es=
cane, emerged from under the ample folds
of the lady's crinoline! .~-t.-.
A chap in Toronto, sent that "retired
physician whose sands oflife have nearly run
out" q fee some time since, and he has Just
discovered that he has been humbugged.
He thinks the joke--which he don't seem
to appreciates SO pointed that ne tells
of it in the Globe.
FIpnLE-FADDIE AT THE foNr.-At tne
bsad of the Questionable Arrangements for
tbe Week. published in the Post, was the
"ChristeninG of the infant daughter OF
the Countess Bernstorif, at Prussia House."
We have always supposed that christen-
ing was religious ordinance, and never
imagined it to be a fashionable arrange