Smyrna times., 1857-11-18
Correspondence Of The Smyrna Times.
The "NEWS " on the Bowling, Horse
Questions, 30.

Questions, 30.
Mr.. EDITOR :-Some of the brighter flashes
of intellect in the last issue of the Milford
Ne,Os, being perfect PUZZLES to my mind,
| have determined to sit right down and write
you-7that the fact may be made known. of
course, your " humble correspondent "-illiter-
ate as he is--shouldn't presume to attempt
to solve problem, unravel a puzzle, or catch
a +" bull by the tail, if it appeared in an edto-
rial column of the " Peninsula News and Ad-
vertiser,-the best paper published in the Uni
ted States, out Of Wilmington :"
PUZZLE No. l.
| "A CHALLENGE" Under this head, the Editor
| first remarks: ave Chat is, ,ce the patterns
of virtue and morality-Ue, the church-going
young gentlemen of Milford,) are no gamblers,
nor will we stake money on any game of either
chance or skill; )" and, in the very next breath,
speaks high:fyingly of accomplished bowl
ers, and challenges Smyrna to game Of Ten
Pins, promising that ii the [church-going and
Sabbalh-s school attending) Young men OF Mil
ford are beaten in the "laudaole engagement,
|
the defeated party!
Well,--they are no gamblers-wll not risk
money on any game, either of chance or skill,
yet, they will risk to pay, and will pay the
expenses of Smyrnians, if beaten in a game of
Ten Pins!
This statement is puzzler, certain, which 1
can't exactly understand. Perhaps, the Editor
will explain how the Milford gents can risk,
and not RISK mohcy,-unless the risk they make
be mere " prom Sc to risk" like that of
50 Honest Johns" proprietor, who is so ALFRED
"prOmpt," you know, that one of his birds in
bush would be worth two in cage belonging
to another person!
I'm puzzled, also, to know what the Editor
means by " "expenses." Does he include, lit
tle-something- drink? of course, this would
be essential TO an interesting game, and in per-
feet keeping with the tastes of the expert
UPsrARTs, who generally boast of their prof.
cheney in bowling, aud things of like nature" "
n Furthermore thinking of this matter,-I
have concluded it to be quite puzzle TO see
any great importance that might be attached 10
the labor OF handling heavy wooden balls (big
as bombs) and the knocking down of rough
, wooden pins (the size ofbrandy y-bottles) Ger.
tainly, ifone engaging in this ''sport," becomes
weakened in the upper-story from pressure Of
, the excitement concomitant, he should "tell il
not in Gath, nor publish It in the streets of AS
t kalon." Do you understand, Mr.. Editor of the
| Ners'
PUZZLE No. 9.
= CHAT HoRsE.RACE"--The Editor saws
"he has rode after him. and "the result OF the
whole affair is, that Honest John stands al
present the fastest horse in the State -
Here's another puzzle. Mr.. Editor, which
, can't get over, nohow. thought the affair haC
/ resulted in /" smoke" asd I'm puzzled to fine
an empty assertion to the contrary--so fiimsy
: weak and soG,-in the columns of the News
E "the best paper published in the United States
out Of Whining ~
: am, also, puzzled to know if the Editor o
said paper would "puff" my nag, too. H,
can come up, at any rate, prepared to take
e rde,-I'll risk it. Guess old Shanghai" Cal
haul US both.
1 PuzzLB No. 9.--"Ah Here's the Rub"
I'm puzzled greatly-Tm dumbfounded com
pletely, to know, whether or the two articles
above alluded to, were, like that Gambling ;
item, (D written in mere sport, placed on tht
Editors file, set up, and published in the per
without his knowledge ~!
: Secondly, and lastly. am puzzled to know
if havn't wronged myself in thus noticing
the big ideas of small establishment.
CoNcLUsIoN-Wih Moral, Gratis.
The Editor of the NeUs-though gifted with
the "nack" of getting out of things-shoult
stick to the truth-or, in other words, he
shouldn't be so funny. Ones manufacturing
jokes, and giggling at them himself, doesn'
stake in an enlightened community.
Yours, respectfully,
Nov. IA, 81. Duck CREEK.
P.S.-The News seems to place particu
lar stress upon the words we are no gamblers
His assertion may be correct. But,-then,-s
rose by any other name would smell as sweet
!; wouldn't it!
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