Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1857-05-30
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clTclng gentleman Hiou'I' anu hS' ~
lie heart beats with pity 10 think that
those Who should be the nobIest OF our
earth, are trying their best 10 resemble the
hairy faced animals have mentioned te-
fore.
When farmer. in looking over his pos
sessions of growing wealth, finds any
more beardy than the rest he regrets 1t
exceedingly, for he is sure twill turn out
Door. for he knows that the head contains
but little substance, or it would not all run
to beard and our sex reason from the
same principle. knowing that when the
crop around the mouth and chin are so
flourishing, there can be but little in the
"upper story," and | find my conclusion
is generally right, for now -a-days, most OF
our gentlemen seem TO think but little OF
anything but kissing us ladies' ; and their
conversation consists of but little else than
irving to natler US of our beauty, grace,
&C., lie, us be as ugly and awkward as we
NAV. They can certainly have little
sense, or they would not even suppose
we took their word for il, when we have
mirrors Of our own and know the la
dies are quite as good judges of heanly as
the gentleman. So they may laugh at us
il they please Ue can laugh too am
sorry indeed that there is such scarcity
Of gentlemen of solid good sense, and
such profusiOn Of moustaches.
So you are tired Of talking about the
moustaches. Well, it is the truth, they
are disagreeable things TO talk about, let
alone to look al, and if you really wish II
we will change the subject 10 hoops.
We have said that moustaches were
neither convenient 10 person nor useful
nor do they pertain 10 persons comfort;
but, dear sir, Hoops are exactly what
Mousiaches are not.
In the first p ace, hoops are healthy
You need not laugh, for, let II appear as
absurd as it may, il is nevertheless rue
Had the gentlemen of the present age cHI-
tivated their brain, instead of their mousta-
ches, they would not fail TO remember
what every physician asserts that The
number Of heavy skir,s which The ladies'
have been in the hanit Of wearlng-that at
they may not present dowdy appear
ance, which would exceedingly mortliy
their fathers, besides brothers and un-
cles-are decidedly injurious, and often
result in serious consequences.
We have long been aware of the fact,
but the ladies' in general would rather
have sacrificed their heath, ease and com
fort than hurt the feelings of their male
friends, until they found the gentlemen
had no consideration, which was proved
when we donned the Bloomer costume,
so we determined to dress as best suited
our own feelings; wedolIed the Oriental
fashion and once more donned the skirts,
and though dressed warm enough, We use
the light hoops in place of superflully oI
heavy quilts. There is abundant evidence
that the hoops are healthy.
Hoops are economical, for the cost Of
them is but triae. in comparison TO ihal
of the superAuous garments heretofore
worn. Fhey are convenient, too. for
they do not hinder the warmth of our
dress in the winter, anG in summer we DO
not have 10 sacrifice our own comfort for
the sake of appearances.
Now we have proved that hoops are
useful by showing tha; they are healthy,
convenient and economical but they are
useful in another way, too. You know
The gentlemen are very fond OF kissing us
ladies. Now i, was always bad enough
TO be kissed by gentleman, minus a
moustache, but it is worse TO be kissed
by them now that their mouth is entirely
surrounded by brislles. When it is nec-
esssry to use flesh brush on our faces,
we prefer to buy one of the right kind,
and moi take the greasy hair appendages
of latter day gentemaD's upper lip and
chin. But we are the weaker sex, Mr..
Editor. and gentlemen are so head-strong
that all our resistance would be like chaff
scattered 10 the wind, and we must sub
nit to have our faces well creased, could
we not invent something TO keep the gen.
llemen at proper distance. So here
come the hoops to our assistance, and
they have proved themselves really use
ful. So, say what you will, we intend TO
wear them until we can find something to
suit US better.
A GEM..-An eminent modern writer
beautifully says "The foundation of do
mestic happiness is faith in the virtue Of
woman the foundation Of political hap
piness is confidence in the integrity Of
man; and the foundation Of all happiness,
and eternal, is reliance on the
goodness of God"
"Let us remove temptation from the
path of YOUTH" as the frog said, as he
plunged into the water, when he saw