Kenosha tribune & telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1856-1859, 1857-05-07

nent poetess and aniiable lady, Mrs. r. s, Mich |
Dls:
CLANDEsTINE MARRIAGES.
No occurrences OF a private nuture has ever
created deeper public interest than the recent
in New York, of Miss Box er to her
fathers coachman, one John Dean 1t is claim
ed that Miss Boxer is refined, intelligent and
cultivated young lady; that she is competent
to teach music, and is mistress of several Ian
she is, in short, all that a gentle
man could wish his daughter to be, with enc ex-
ception, to wit: singular partaity tor I'M
refined, uncultiyated Irish coachman. Divers
have been the opinions expressed in regard to
Miss. BIS conduct. Many have praissd-many
have blamed her, and not few have been puz
zled to know how it all was brought about
which party in fact, took the lead in this singu-
lar courtship. Our own oppinien is that Miss
Boxer must have taken the Initiative steps, and
that, too, pretty decidedly, for this is not ro-
mantle age, when pretty page may marry his
mistress. or gentlemen go about disguised as
menials in order to win the ladies OF their love,
but downright sober, utiliarian period, though
silly girls are still found who do sillier things to
the astonishment of of the void at large aud of
their trusting parents in particular. We have
no sympathy with the so-called romance of Miss
Boxers marriage, though very genuine pity is
awakened at the thought of years of untold mis-
cry which she has in all probability brought up-
on herself There must have been something
radically wrong, either in the moral training or
the mental organization of a girl in Miss Be-
ker's position in life, to lead to such result as
is now confessedly before the world A young
lady, high-bred, polished, and OF great womanly
delicacy, encourages arough, coarse, unintellec-
tual man filing mental station in her parents
household, to approach her as a lover, and final
Iy elope with and marries him Ii is not be-
cause be is poor, or that he is in lower station
in life than herself that makes this affair mon
strous in the eyes of those accustomed TO look
beyond the present into the future it is because
of the total dssimilarty of feeling, taste, oppor-
tunity, and endowments. And yet Miss Boxer
cannot become to US refined woman. No re-
fined woman could have born to have been ad-
dressed in the language Of love, by an unrefne6,
coarse-natured man, to say nothing of her living
under the same roof with him, and beholding
him condemned to herd with those she esteemed
so much beneath her, while she queened it up
stairs in another sphere No refined and right
minded woman would have flung away a faith
er s and mothers love, or treated them so dis
vigorously, after all their kind care and affec-
Tomato guardianship, as did this young lady in
question. No delicate minded woman would
have subjected herself and her private affairs to
the rude remarks and pitiess animadversions OF
an excitement hunting public, las this new ymar
ried Mrs. John Dean has done.
Marriage, to bring happiness to the parties in
terested, must be a union of tastes, feeling, and
sentiment there must be congeniality of spirit,
something rear equality of mind, and certain,
ly that sympathy Of pursuit, which equal educa-
tional advantages always develop. Without
these. there can be no permanent happiness in
life but after the novelty and blindness of pas
sion wear away, certain misery must follow,
which is always sure to fall most heavily on the
weaker party.
Clandest:ne marriages seldom bring happi-
ness: the woman who sacrifices home and a
fatherk and mothers affection for lover, un,
less the parents are unusually unreasonable,
generally reaps that reward which follows in
the footsteps of disobedence.
We never before heard of the eminent poetess
and amiable lady, Mrs r. S. Nichols" and if the
above is specimen of her general ability, we shall
not grieve if we never hear of her again. She as
sumes that Miss Boxers delicacy, refinement and
all that kind of thing, made her match with John
Dean, her fathers coachman, a very unequal and
Objectionable one and in the next breath tells us
that the very fact that she did marry Dean proves
that she had no delicacy or refnement-which We
suppose, by the same reasoning proves the match
very proper and eligible one, and disposes of the
whole matter. But it was not of the manifest con
tradietons of the article set out to speak nor d
we care enough about Miss Boxer or John Dean I.
make them the special subjects of an article 1t il
the false philosophy and snobbish spirit of Mrs Nj
| chofs article which this Boxer Dean case has dem
onstrated to be somewhat prevalent that leads us It
| comment.
Mrs. Nichols don't profess to know personally an,
thing of those of whom she speaks. Her coDclusion
are mere assumptions. John Dean drives eoaal
for livelihood, therefore John Dean coarse rude
| lliterGte, boorsh Miss Boxers father is rich an,
she has been taught to talk Dutch and play on tn
piano, therefore she is refined, delicate ladylkeI
aud consequently the match is most unequal and OF
| jectionablc. Such are her assumptions and conclu
sions. The premises warrant such assumption
and conclusions. Prima facie, John Dean the coach
man is just as good as John Boxer, the liquor see,
and just proper match for John Boxers daugt
ter, as John Boxer was for hia daughters mothe
True, money can furnish those kind of refinement
which enable persons to learn the formaltes an
| conventionaltics of society and to flourish wit
ease and grace through the idleness of fe but tina
trse genteness of heart and spirit out of which aon
can como true refinement is necessarily no more dc
pendant money for its existence, than the sun
| for its ability TO shine. j an Dean drove Miss Be
kers coach, it is true, but the person who assumes
as all do who condemn this match, that therefore h
was all coarseness and che all refinement betrays
snobbsEness of spirit which seek to do what lit
tie to correct. We are not ignorant of III
fact that money and other of the temporary incident
of lIe have an effect upon all our relations and arr
worthy of proper consideration but the individual
| is superior to them all and has a right to be weigh
| ed, considered, and esteemed independent of then
ALL and particularly when relations of the kind il
question entered into, which contemplate eterni
| ty as well time, it is false and mschevous phi
| losophy which seeks to control, 'and measure anC
| determine them by money and what money will pur
| chase No person has authority to pronounce upor
the fitness of the union entered into by others Those
who form the union, and those alone, can properly
judge its fitness, and that the union is formed il
abundant evidence that il is all right until something
grows out of the union itself, disproving it, AND
particularly, where, in The case of Miss Boxer
wealth and all its advantages are discarded so fal
from its being evidence of the unftness of the unior
it is the strongest evidence in the world of its com
plete fitness, and Mrs Nichols or no one else has ,
right to say aught against it, until the union itsel
shall furnish some grounds for it,
| Mr.. Boxer has made fortune selling liquor-Johr
Dean has not yet made fortune driving coach
this it all the difference the world knows between
them, and this difference is the whole ground Of tho
animadversions upon this match If the forger Hun
ngdon, in the hey day of his success and prosperity
had sought and obtained Miss Boxers hand. doubt
less Mrs Nichols and all the rest of the snobs would
have gone into raptures over the eligibility of the
match, but John Dean, who has no taste for either
selling or drinking liquor, and no disposition to inn
tate the signatures of other people, but prefers an
honest living by an honest calling, and is therefore
without palace in the fifth avenue, is assumed to
be every thing Objectionable, and no kind Of match
for rich mans daughter
We hope our readers viii not adopt the Nichols
standard Of judging of human nature
Honduras Affairs.
N-r-Ir-