The Tiffin tribune. [volume] (Tiffin, Ohio) 1848-1859, 1857-03-13
NO.23.
Goestioks Enoountering Grim
Death-He has the Small Pox.


Do you want 10 know why I've been
absent from your columns for a couple Of
weeksY I've been sick--Gnm Death
has been around--he osllel, and sat
down face to face with me. said that he
had come for Doestiuks, and that I'd
better make my will say good by 10 my
frirnds, and that | shouldn't be back a.
again. l argued the matter with old
Dry bones or three days and two nights
He speared me = number Of times with
his "dsrt," but l always lodged. So
YOU see that from words we came TO blows
Ny opinion is that he showed himself no
gentleman in pitching into n sick man:
however. the doctor backed me- manfuly,
Death grappeled me by tho head, but
backed him down with leeches; then he
dropped his hold and caught me by the
bowel | fred ~ him in this position for
Twelve hours with two ounce vials OF stuff
that don't know the name of. but
which smelled Ike boiled down livery
stable. Being disludged from my inter.
nails, he caught me by the ribs, where
burnt his fingers with n mustered blister
when he gave me up as bad subject for
an obituary experiment. aud prepared to
90. AS he sneaked out, he grinned and
marked that need not feel so grand.
for | wouldn't make a decent Eokjug
corpse anyhow. | looked viciously a,
him. l was able to put my thumb to the
end Of my nose, but my strength gave
out before | could way my fingers, so
that fear old Death left with wrong
impression of my sentiments.
My sickness came lhus--theFe was a
tire In n row OF tenement houses. my dear
friend Miss Miggs, stood where she could
watch the progress OF the flames. Some
one cried cut there was child in the
burning house ;felt like hero in the pres
euce OF Miss Miggs, or perish in tie at
tempt before Miss Miggs. Dashed up
ladder in full sight o; Miss Miggs, max
ing a misStep aud taking the kun uff my
shins as a primary move; didn't mind it
~ all; what were shins. when Miss Miggs
WIS looking onl Got into the house;
heard the child squall; couldn'I see II for
the s.hoke; tried 10 tnj il in the dark
walked over he sloye aud overturned u
kettle Of boiling walet into my boots;
breathed smoke enough to set u volcano
up in business; aud NJ Inst reached tic
he'd and caught hold OF the squaller--
wasn'l very particular how | took hold
and am now convinced that | carried il
by Que leg. head downward; all over the
upper stories Of the whole block in my
search for the window where the ladder
was-discovered itat last, and lor0 one
ley Of my pantaloons entirely of on the
iron hook with which il was decorated
got down, turned the baby right side uI
aud delivered IL in good condition to il,
mother, who set up genuine howl, anc
Instantly gave me particular hts. fol
bringing her baby OUT doJls without
wrapping it up warm; for, as she thcr
informed me, IL had the smallpox sil
days, aud she was afraid il would 'slrik,
IN. myself fel, very much di.lo,
cd TO strike out. but my anger yauishe,
as | thought Of Miss Mggs--slarled t'
go aud see her; remembered the unheroi'
looks OF my pau,aloors. and relmined-
bO we'd to her, however. which she didn'
see. and then was on The instant tipped
o er in The mud by the foreman OF lh.
Hose No. IS, who at the same time vol
un eered his kind advice 10 'mind where
you're looking that she did see, ant
evidently thought it funny
Went to bed, and dreamed exclusively
Of Irish babies; thought | was 4 regular
plantation OF babies, set out in reg1la
rows like oabbages, .hey were all grow
ing vigorously; tried tog't out, but inuu'
merabe Celtic offspring sprouled unde
my feet. and my legs were tangled !,
their tender embraces; finally. strug
gled to the end of ths field, when found
that il was hedged in with screaming ba
bi,s, fourteen deep. all alive. all Irish, ,anl
all with the double-headed small pox -
Then my own body began 10 20 intu ba
bies. they budded nll over me, and | a
awoke just rs each leg had blossomed in
10 pug nosed boy, aud Two pairs OF red
headed twins Lad sprouled out between
my shoulders.
! Found / Vas sick-doctor como an,
'old me what allied me. Smallpo is ~
teresling disease. regarded from path
illogical point of view by aphysiei it
good health. but contemplated practical
! ly by Hat .on-his back patient, the study
Is not so entertaining.
The various members Of my body cor
potale undertook, Tor my amusement,
series Of unusual aud curious periorman
ves on their own hook Those slpperl
portions Of my anatomy, generally des
sna ed Ms my 'bowels.' tommenced
number Of complicated maneuyers viii
great vigor. somewhat as ii they wer
lpracticing new ballet Of wonlsTu
combnaiions. requiring ,ast deal %
xtra ground and lony tumbing, or wer'
rrheHrsing Chris ian pan omIme. an'
Jumping through surprising number o
trap .ors-- hey didn't siop until thel
ie themselves inio hard knot an,
uckrd hath ends under, lconsOlrd my
self. however by hoping thct the lrisI
baby got its infant bowels inioa greaie
angle and into harder kno.s than eveI
mine.
Then. some kind Of naval engage
ment commenced in my heal. and sue
cession Of broadsides. at the ra,e Of Ier
10 a minute. WAS irrd inside Of ms un