Smyrna times., 1857-01-21
Straps--OMIttp.

LONG SERMONS AT the South Carolina
Conference of the Methodist Episcopal church,
the presiding Bishop decided long sermons, ex-
cept on very special occasions, to be improper,
contrary to the discipline, to the practice Of
i" the Fathers and to some extent, subversive
of the ends of the Christian ministry. The
limit, on ordinary occasions, according to the
Bishop, should be from thirty to forty-fve min
utes.
DR.. BANGs.-We learn that DIR. Bangs is
complying with the requests of the N. Y Con-
ference,and collecting all his published writings
to be published in uniform volumes under his
own inspection. The writings of this eminent
father (now 81 years of age) will be among The
most valuable contributions, not only to meth
odlsm but to the general ecclesiastical history
OF our country.
AN lrINERATING CHAPEL.--The Methodist
Sunday School Union, IN Philadel phia, prUpnse
building an itinerating chapel, which can be
moved readily from place to place, as often as
a church can be nourshed up under its infil-
ence, able to put i'll its stead permanent build
ing.
! CIF The Methodist Church Nor has appro-
priated to missionary purposes, for the year 1857
sums amounting to $225,0OO. Ofthis amount,
$l5G,000 is devoted to Home Missions, and
$4,000 to Foreign Missions.
WAsHINGroN, D. C The Wesleyan Metho-
dsts have recently completed at Washington,
d. c., spacious and elegant chapel, that will
seat $500 persons.
OF Betting men should look out how they
accomplish their ends In Newark singular
suit has been instituted, relating to betting
One man bet another $50 that a certain per-
son-A. B-would vote the Democratic ticket,
and in order to make his winning sure, promis-
ed A. B. $25 if he would so vote. A. B. ac4
cepted the offer and voted the ticket, and now
the winner refuses to pay. The suit is brought
to recover the $25 1t will probably end in
both parties being fined, and perhaps sent to
prison.
OrT Brown hates cold weather much more
than he cares for sleigh-riding. Yet he prom
ised to tai ke his wife out when he found "every-
thing Just right" when will that be - ask
G ed his spouse, weary of teasing to no purpose
Why, when there is first-rate sleighing in
e Jnne," replied the husband.
o. Eliza Emery warns all girls in the South
and West to look ont for her CAV, deceiving,
q runa way husband David. Thinks he may be
easily known and to prove so, says. David
has a scar on his nose where scratched him."
6TAu honest Dutchman, in training up his
# son in the way he should go, freqeently exer-
n cised him in Bible lessons. On one of these
occasions he asked him: .....,
q "Who vas dat would not shleep nit Boti-
,f piers vife!"
"Shoseph."
q "Dats goot poy. Veil. vat vas de reason
% he would not shleep init her - H..
o "Don't know shp"se he vashn't shleepy."
10 GA gentleman once asked lady of hh
le acquaintance, "What are you making, Miss
Knapp!"
&c Knapp-sacks," was the reply.
st o." Mother" said younger brother, " j,
it right for James to take all the best of tht
bed to hm!''
"Certanly not" said the mother. "f'
is /" But" said James in his Defence. 8, only
sh took half the bad" ..a.sas
to YES" said the other boy, " but you lie rlgh
nd in the middle, and take the soft part so that
ne am obliged to lie on both sides OF the bed, ii
ed order to get my half. r>i
~ 6TA man of an exceedingly contracted
,e. mind, was one day complaining TO an acquai int
q. ance that he had very acute pain-a litt
s. sharp pain, not bigger, seemingly, than til,
mr. point of pin. - It's aInaZing," he continued
an g. don't you think it ia What do yon suppos
is the cause of it 7"
II. "Why, really, don't know" replied tn
IN other. " what part of you should be liable TO S
)i. very minute pain, Unless ii be your soul"
ng GA woman is a good deal like piece
to ivy-the more you ruined the closer sh
be cings to you. wife's love don't begin /
'es show itself, in lis full power, until the sheriff
all after you.
Lpo ~ There is a oyster-shel, it is said, owr
'"' ed by the University of Leyden, which weigh
one hundred and eighty pounds The oysle
was swallowed whole by a Dutch girl p. u
rds OrrA"I8ve Yankee" being awakened b
.nI the ca plain of a steamboat with the annonnc,
old ment that he "musn't occupy his berth wal
tho his boots on" replied, " Oh, the bugs wont hui
Nil em much, guess-lhey're and old P ir; Il
md eni rip!
is OcAy- An awkward man, in attempting TO cary
in a goose, dropped it to the floor There, nov
BILE we have lost our dinnerl!" exclaimed his viii
wn " Oh, no, NY DEAR" answered he, 4" it is sal
hat for have got my foot on it, .... .. q.
lnu NJ At distribution of prizes in a Germs
p1n p village little girl, seven years old, whose p
u" rents had Just been turned out ofthelr lodginl
acc because they had failed to pay their rent, w
uT asked by the rector: Have you studied 8
cred history, my chid!" ''.a rs
~ Yes, sir" .f..e y .s. U7a5 d
,;nc 9 Do you, know the history of the creation,
$ of " know that God made all. *, =, ,, :
on,. UNVhy were Adam and Eve turned out
Edi- paradisei'ka '.. -
- Tue child hesitated a moment, and then, f
fFar. ing her eyes su the examiner, replied: Js5j
1ree Probably they were turned out because tn
in could not pay their rent" ...,,. ..,,.,.....
and ny Right and duty are like two palm ire
signI which bear fruit only when growing side
days side.f 3-@@1'a' .ssHh't' tc .i'-'I' 79"i %
lsny 0H5- The fame which follows true greatnt
2 'ton no friend need hold up, and no enemy can Ike
- Il dowp,ails1 10 .-iaisoI sd.--.a1. 1.IsNO Teo
= 'snl / 0y- Little boys should be seen--not heard
i-gl urchin said when be could not recite hlsless
or Happiness is like pig with sgEes
ltof tail, which every one is after, but no one 6
:, .bnt hold. !, - s .,,t
s0H a.