The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1857-12-24
VARIETY.

VARIETY.
Some slandering bachelor says it is much ;ov when
bu get married, but more jary after a year ortvo
There are many men who delight in playing the
ol, but who get angry the moment they are told So
1t has been satisfactorily ascertained that ducks
nter the water for divers reasons, and out for
beun dry motives
When a has q headache and saws it's the
tralmon, you may safely conclude that he has been
farinking like fish.
n down east editor advises read rs if they wish to
et teeth inserted gratis go and steal fruit where
Ms watch dog IS ON guard.
The war-hoop is all very well in its way, but peace
- Shoop (pea-soup) is better.
JUsT So.-1n one respect. says the Providence
fl9ost, Mrs Cunningham 8 - 9i formance was not
Needed admirably. She is not however, supposed to
In sinking condition, as the courts refuse to
low her to be baled out.
skunk once challenged lion to single combat
The lion declined accepting it.
"How 20 said the skunk, s'are you afraid,'
Yes replied the lion, 'syou would only gain
feame by having had the honor to fight lion, while
J, livery one who met me for a month to come would
aknow that had been in company with a skunk -
!, "WHY roU hab your hair parted in the midsr-e
q q You swell nigger.''
iid IS Kase it's fashion wild all what respeks them
wselves, you bald-headed embodiment OBJ blackin,
you But what is the difference between your hair
ciand mine, Pomp'''
y "Gibs It up.''
iat ssMy hair is parted in de middle and your'n is
eai departed
-, One ISvENTIoSs.-A Yankee has invented
suspender that contracts your approach to WATER
% that the moment you come to puddle 1t lifts you
- over, and drops you on the other side
Il A-LAss a-lass the old bachelor said when he
- wanted marry. He made the exclamation
3 after marriage, but spelt it differently.
When you go to drown yourself, always pull off
ie your clothes-they may fit your we's second hus-
20 No firing should say - i'll word against the
doctors.
"Pm glad that this coffee don't owe me anything"
said Brown boarder, at breakfast. '-tWhy ?" said
Smith. Because, don't believe it would ever set
tie
s'I WILL come down and give you thrashing, if
you don stop your impudence,' said man to
political opponent from Ireland, who railing at
him from the street below the window.
s'Come along,' said Pat, purity soon ef ye plaze,
FOR I'd like to be close by when ye did it -
Before marriage, the man is very much struck with
the woman, and afterwards, the woman is very much
struck by the man. Punch says IT Is q striking piece
of business all through.
DoEsrrcKs IN Bosrox.-The famous " p3esticks''
has furnished the New York Picayune an account of
his visit Boston, from which the following extracts
made:
Ninety-nine extra-sized angle-worms ocomoting at
high-pressure speed about garden nwalk of showery
afternoon, and being perpetuslly turned back when
they get the edge, and compelled to crosz- each
others trail in innSnerable directions would if the
ground soft nd their every footstep plan vsi-
BE, draw tb/ garden-walk aforesaid toierably
map of the city Of Boston 1t Is crookeder
than nine Of rams horns and has more corners
than a cord of cross-cut SAWS
You see your friend, and you call out, Jones,
wait a mnute,' and you start to see Jones, thinking
he is Just the street.
Misguided man s,r-distant Jones' You climb
nine hills. and ninety corners before you get
within hang distance Of Jones again
The streets look as if they had been made some
where else and dumped here in a huge tangle; and |
nobody had taken the trouble to straighten |
them again 1t looks il somebody had been |
building lot Of cities by contract, and the JOB |
hadn't come out even, and ne had thrown down his |
of streets and odds ends alleys and little
shipped of bits Of lanes and avenues, and called it
Boston. IL any street in the town should be cut a
straight mile in any direction, it would go through
dozen private pariors and public music halls
In fact Boston looks if the rst-rate material for
excellent city had been melted and poured through
seiye q side hill and left to cool.
The HOUSEHOLD Coop NIGHT ''-s Good night ~
oud, clear voice from the stairs said that 1t was
Tommy. - Dood night 80 murmur a little something
from the trunde-bed-a little something that We call
Jenny, that flied large place in the center Of one or
two pretty large hearts, s'Good night ~ lsps lit
tie fellow in n plaid rife dress, who named Willie
about six years ago.
Ipray the Lord my o keep;
III should die before I w-a-k-e'-
and the small bundle in the trundlebed has dropped
Of to Sleep but the broken prayer may up sooner
than many long petitions that set out great while
before it
And so it was good night all around the home
stead; and very sweet music it made, too, in the
twilight and very pleasant melody it makes now,
We think of it, for not yesterday nor the day
before, but long time ago-so long that Tommy Is
Thomas Somebody, ESQ.,, and has forgotten that he
ever was boy, and what the bravest and rich
est Of us'can but once if we try-the hrst
pair of boots
And it was good night all around the house; and
the children had gone through the ivory gate always
isft little ajar for them-through into the land of
dreams.
VERDICT or A NEGRO IsoUEsr-We de under
scrbed darkies ben q Kroners Juray Of disgust to
SIT On de body OBJ de niggar Sambo. now dead and
gone before US, hab been sittin the said nggar
Aforesaid, did de fusteenth OBJ November, came to
his deaf by Ealln' from the riber, whar we find he
was afterwards washed ON de riber side, whar We
spose he frose to def
The OTHER SrDE-Once in happy home, asweet,
tnear mother, all sitting very sorrowfus Alice, the
eldest, said:
Mother, you took all the care Of the baby while
sne was here, and you carried aud held her in your
arms all the while she i'll; now, mother, who
Took her on the other side ?''
TN the other side Of what, Alice 30
On the other side of death; who took the baby
on the other side, mother? She was SO little she
could not go alone"
Jesus met her there" answered the mother.
:, 1t IS He who took little children in his arms to
oiess them. and said Suffer them to unto me,
snd forbid them not, of such is the kingdom Of
heaven He took the baby the other side.
Il Is often dangerous to undertake to ssttwo fellows
nehong Take q couple Of dog. and thrust their
aa noses against each other's teeth and Il may be
"ss dog WON'T eat dog. bat turn sos. :
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