Western Reserve chronicle. [volume] (Warren, Ohio) 1855-1921, 1857-08-19
NOTHING TO WEAR.
AN EPISODE OF CITY LIFE.


In one continuous round Of shopping;
Shopping alone and shopping together,
AT all hours Of day, and in all sorts OF weather;
For all manner Of things that can put,
On the crown of her head or the sole of her foot,
Or wrap round her shoulders, ft round her waist
Or that can be sewed on, pinned on. or laced,
Or tied on with a string, stitched with bow,
In front or behind. above or below;
For bOnnets mantiilas, capes, collars and shaEls;
Dresses for breakfast, and dinners, and balls;
Dresses to sit in, and stand in, and walk in;
Dresses to dance in, and lirt in, and talk in;
Dresses in which to do nothing at all;
Dresses for winter, spring. summer and fall
All Of them different in color and PATTERN
Silk, muslin and lace, Grape, velvet and satin,
Broeade aud broadcloth, and other material,
Quite as expensive and much more eiherial;
In short for all things that could be thought Of
Or milliner, m0disfe, or tradesman be bought Of,
From ten thousand franc robes, to twenty frls
In all quarters of Paris, and to every store,
While MFlimsey in vain, stormed scohled and sEore
They footed the streets, and he footed the hills.
The last trip, their goods, shipped by the stearne
Arago,
Formed, M'FlinseJ declares, the bulk of her cargo
Not to mention quantity kept from the rest,
Sufficient to ill TIE largest sized chest,
Which did not appear in the ships's manifest,
Bat for which the ladies themselves manifested
Such peculiar interest, that they invested
Their own proper persons in layers and rows
OF muslins, embroderies, worked underclothes,
Gloves, handkerchefs scarfs and such tribes as those
Then, wrapped in great shavs like crcassian beauties
Gave good bye to the slip and good bye TO the duties
Her relations at home all marveIled, no doubt
Miss Flora had grown so enormously stout,
For al laIla
But the miracle ceased when she turned inside out,
And the truth came to light and the dry goods beside
Which in spite Of Collector ard Custom House sentry
Had entered the port without any entry.
And YET though scarce three months passed since
the day,
This merchandise went, on twelve carts up Broadway
This same Miss MFiimsey, OF Madison Square,
The last time we met was in utter despair,
Because she had nothing whatever to wear
Nothing TO Ioe0r! Nov, as this is a true ditty
Ido not assert-ihis, you know is between US
7 al she's in a state of absolute nudity,
Like Powers Greek Slave or the Medici Venus;
Bat do mean to say, have heard her declare,
When at the same moment she had a dress
Which cost five hundred dollars and not a cent lees
And iewslry worth ten times more. should guess,
That she had not thing in the wide world to weari
should just mention here. that Miss Flora's
Two hundred and fifty sixty sdorers,
had just been selected as he who should throw all
The rest in the shade by the gracious bestowal
On myself, after twenty or thirty reflections,
0fhose fossil remains which she called her Affections
And that rather 6ecayed. but wellknown work of art
Which Miss Flora persisted in calling her heart
So We we're engaged. Our troth had been pIighted.
Not by moonbeam star-beam, by fountain or grove,
But in front parIor, most brilliantly lighted.
Beneath the gas fixtures whispered our love.
Without any romance, rapture, or sighs,
without any tears in Miss Floras blue eyes,
Or blushes, tran5poTts, or such silly actions,
II was one Of the quietest business transactions.
With very small shrinking Of sentiment. if any,
And very large diamond, imported by Tiffany.
On her virginia. lips while printed kiss,
She exclaimed in a sort of parenthesis,
''You know I'm to polka much as please,
And firt when Iike-now stop, don't you speak
And You must not here more than twice in a week
Or talk to me either at party or ball,
But always be ready to come when call;
So don't prose about duty and stuff,
II We don't break tins of. there win be time enough
For that sort of thing; but the bargain must be
That, as long as choose, am perfectly free,
For this is a sort Of engagement you see,
Which is binding yoa. but not binding On me-"
Well, haYing thus wooed Miss MFlimsey and gained
her,
With the silks. .erinolnes and hoops thar contained her,
had, as thought. contingent remainder,
A. least in the property. and the best right
To appear as its escort by day and by night;
And it being the week Of the sthet1ps grand ball
Their cards having been out fortnight, or so,
And set all the Avenue the tip-toe-
considered i. only my duty to cali
And see if Miss Flora intended to 30.
found her-as ladies are apt to be found
When the time intervening between the first sound
OF the bell and the visitors entry is shorter
Than usual-I found. won't say caught her
Intent on the pier-glass, undoubtedly meaning
To see, perhaps, if it didn't need cleaning,
She turned as entered-..Why, Harry, you sianer
thought you went to the FIasher's to dinnerIs
80 did,, replied. sbut the dinner is Swallowed
And digested, trust; for tits now nine and more
So being relieved from that duty l followed
Inclination. which led me. you see, to your deor,
And now win your ladyship SO eondescend,
As just to inform me il you intend
Your beauty, and grace, and presence to lend,
lAil Of which. when own, hope will borrow
TO the sfHekHPs whose party. you know, is norow?
The fair Flora looked up with pitiful air.
And answered quite promptly, 'Why Harry, cher
should like above all things to 60 with you there;
But really and truly-ITe nothing to wear"
Nothing to wearI go just as you arei
Wear the dress you have on, and you'll be by far,
engage, the most bright and particular star
On the stuck up hOrizon,"-I stopped, for her eye,
Notwithstanding this delicate onset Of aattery,
Opened on me at a most terrible battery
Discern and anazement. She made no reply,
But gave slight turn to the end Of her nose,
Chat pure Grecian feature) as much as to say
SLOW absurd that any sane man should suppose
That a lady woHld go to a ball in the clothes
No matter how fine, that she wears every day."
So Tentured again-.-Wear your crimson broeade =
Second turn up Of nosel That's too dark by shade
your bine sik''-'Thaf's too heaTy;'--'Your pink"
THAT'S too light"
swear tulle over satin-'sI can't endure Wbite-
y our rose eoiored then, the best of the batcl1-
81 ii4v'nt thread Of point.laee to match
our brown ~oire eAtigss'-"Yes. and look like
THE pearl cOored""I would but that paxuey dress
maker
Has had il . Eeek'-sThen that exquisite IiIse.
In which you would melt the heart Of a styIoek
Ciere the nose took again the same elevation)
II wouldn't scar that for the whole of ere.tion.p
ny notf II my ancy there's nothing could strike il
as more ee@Hs az jaHt-''fes, but dear me- that lean
sophronia stuekup has got one just like it,
And won't appear dressed like chit of SIXTEEN
Then that splendid purple. that sweet Mazarine;
That superb Poist d'agHiiss, that imperial green,
That zephyr like tarltoa. that rich rreaad;ns.-
. Not one Of all which is ht to be SEEN"
Said the lady. becoming excited and flushed.
Then wear, exclaimed in a tone which ouite
oppos'en' that gorgeous toilette which you spOrted
In Paris last spring. at the grand presentation
When yon headoftac head Of the