The north Iowa times. [volume] (M'Gregor [i.e. McGregor], Iowa) 1856-1857, 1857-03-13

TINS morning, from the following text:
..-... Laugh and grow fat"
MY HEARRRs IL have lately thrown
my cogi.ating apparatus considerably out
Of gear in attempting to make out wheth.
er laughter produces fat, or q good layer
Of the sdipose promotes laughter. The
conclusion l have arrived At is. that laugh
ter is. generally speaking, the spontaneous
production of an oleaginous soil, and has
little or nothing to do towards adding
aught to it's richness. 1t is the naturally
contented mind, my friends. that tends to
corporal fatness; and when fatness IS
once obtained, laughter takes root therein,
and branches out and blossoms, like sun
flowers on the southern side of pig-stye.
Take one of your wo-begone, God-forsa-
ken hypocondriacs-the whole of whose
self-manufsctured misery seems to have
crawled into his conference.-the very
cast of whose mildewing eye is enough 10
rub all the polish from pair of patent
leather boots-let him possibly be elec.
,rihed into cachinating paroxysm, long
and loud. and no more fat will gather up
on his ribs than honey y-dew upon the sap
less rose leaves of an old maids bonnet.
Why? Because the maggots of melan-
choly that continually prey upon his mind,
are not to be frightened from their favorite
repast by the most startling gutfaw that
ever shook the quiet realm OF cheerfulness.
Take, too, one of your pale, wafer-liped,
weasel-vissged skinfints-who INDUCES
in moonshiny smiles at the remotest pros
pect Of a bargain, and who is more re-
dundant with smirks and bows than dis
owned California dog is of fleas-move
him into fi.s of audible mirthfulness as
often as you may, still he will be as slim
as shitepoke fed upon hair snakes. if he
were to live long enough 10 be The grand
dad of all the little Beelzebubs who may
happen to be born somewhere about the
middle Of the next century.
Now, my brethern, behold yonder hap.
py mortal. with soul wrapped up in a
thick blanket OF fat-with knob plump
and shining as pumpkin in October
whose merry little optics twinkle like twin
stars at the summit of Mount Diabolo-
whose "fair round belly, with good capon
lined" 10 an object of envy 10 all walk
ing shadows that stalk the earth. All
Of his ideas swim, like preserved sardines.
in the richest and sweetets of oil; every
thought slides out sleek and
greasy, and the whole tenor and tone of
his voice are like tho inner bark of slip
perry elm. His mind dwells in such COM
Portable winter quarters that he never feels
otherwise than happy and cheerful. He
feels so good, that Mughter-not of your
coarse, horse-fashioned kind, but the fine,
sort-peeps out, ever and
anon, from its fat fold. and causes every
.varmint'' of care to take to its hole. like
rats and goblins damned at the morning
cock-crow.
What, my friends, do you suppose
brought this laughter-breeding human 10
the verge of obesity? It was not laugh
ing at either stage or street farcss nor at
the freaks and follies of q ridiculous
world ; nor at every new-fsngled and old
fashion, that makes organ grinders mon
keys almost grin themselves into convul-
sivns nor, hyena-like, At the most ridicu-
lous OF Legislative proceedings-nor was
it even at such comical preaching Is mine.
No: it was the genial spirit of Content
ment that diffused cheering warmth
throughout his whole syslem-fertilised
his heart. and furnished . good soil from
which future spontaneous laughter was to
spring, like the dandelion and mushroom,
after : gentle rain and nurturing sun
He never drove piyeon-eyed Peace from
her domicile by sweating, lighting. and
swearing for politics, nor wrangled flesh
from his bones in behalf of orthodoxy.
universalism, atheism, nor any of the
vulgar issss of the--nor kept himself -
lean Is Pharaoh g lousiest calf by chasing
q hammered sixpence from San Diego to
the Bay Of Kamschatka. By keeping in
good fellowship with himself and stom-
ach-by maintaining good humor-med-
ding with no ones business but his own
exercising patience at the 6tful blowing
Of adverse winds. and bound to be happy.
,oAstAsr or mo-he, 1t last, accumulated
the ad;poss, if not . superabundance of
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