The Cadiz Democratic sentinel. [volume] (Cadiz, Ohio) 1854-1864, 1857-06-25
FRANCIS P. CoRBIN (of Virginia.
"Paris, THURSDAY Nav Z.
Feeling his RssAHaHNSs

Our neighbor, Col. s., tells capital story
of a certain wag in Erie, Pa, a jolly publican,
who contributes good deal to the life OF that
pleasant, but sometimes very obstinate borough.
One morning q travelling phrenologist arrived
at his inn and took lodgings. The next day in
the village newspaper appeared an advertise
ment stating that Prof B had arrived in
Erie, and would make "ior a compensation
examination of the heads of citizens, and ac-
company the same with accurate, reliable charts
of character For two or three days the calls
were scarce but on the fifth there was rush Of
five or six to the apartment Of the Professor
One morning countryman entered the inn
where the phrenologst had his rooms and said
to the landlord aforesaid:
as this the place where the phrenologist
holds out who can tell mans karacter 10y
the bumps on his skull"'
"Yes," replied Bonitace, with reserved and
dignifed air"
:'Wal, want my potato trat looked into a
little. Where's the man?'
81 am the man." said tho Landlord.
"Oh, you be, eh? Wal, put III, feel O. my
bumps, and gin us map. What's the swim
dep
"Thcre is no swindle sir, phrenology is sci
nee, sir'
"Oh, yes--expect so; but what's the price for
feelin a f.ller's head?"
"One dollar, with a chart"
oval 60 it; what do du?-lie down or sit
down? Does it hurt?'
"Not in the least, M dear sir. Take your
seat in that chair"
There were four or five morning loungerS in
the tavern who checked laugh, as the coun-
trylnan took his seat having first as requested,
removed his coat, vest and neckcloth. The
wag of landlord run his hand through the
hair of the patient for a moment, and then tur-
ming to the bar keeper said:
Mr. Flpkins, take sheet of paper and draw
four lines down its whole lentgh, and put my
figures under the head | mention to you"
1t was done.
"Have you got it"
"Yes, all right"
every we'll"
And the landlord went on with his examina-
tor, which was rousher, perhaps, than there
was any necessity for.
'Put dawn Philo, ,progentiveness sixty"
"Down, sir"
"Very WE'LL Reverence two
Booked, sir"
| "Combativeness, two hundred"
| whats that" said the victim.
"No matter sir-you'il see it ON the chart
Caution one.
"Credulity four hundred"
| "Whats the last lump" asked the patient.
"Ncyer mind now, you'll understand it BY
and by. And now, Ito the bar. kecper) Mr.
Flipkins, you've put these in separate columns
as uSnalP
"Yes, SIR"
! avery well--add em up"
"Add 'em u-u-p-p-m exclaimed the phreno-
logical subject, is that the way you do?
''Of COURSE! how else could we get your
balance of mind--of intellect"
"Wa go ahead"
"How does it daboH, Mr. Flipkins?"
"rhe three columns are equal they foot up
precisely the same!"
The landlord looked solemnly and sympathi-
zingly towards his subject
at is strange" said he, "but it is so. Phre-
nology never lies. You have no predominant
character, sir; you have no intellectual status;
you don't know anything, sir. Excuse me sir,
but must state the truth, whether you take
the chart or not; but if there is any truth in
phrenology, you area cussed foo{i Under the
circumstances, sir, can hardly expect you tc
keep the chart you have contracted for; that il
matter Of small consequence, as it will be- i
valuable illustration Of unique species, which
| can use in all my lectures hereafter ] au,
thenticate all my lectures, sir, with real names
and residences. The charge Of deception in
science, is one which was never brought against
me, and never will lie, sir, neverlD
'Oh, never mind; give Us the map;'' said the
subject; "hore's the swindle, for Id rather pay
/ it, than have YOU going around the country MA
kin fool Of me everywhere else as you have
here--you blasted philogenitive huinbug, you''
/ With this explosion, the subject retised.