Raftsman's journal. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1854-1948, 1857-12-02
RACY STUMP SPEECH.

u y.
one-eyed, bald-headed, lantern jawed indiyid-
ual, appeared before the public as an indepen-
dent candidate for State Senator. He was ac-
companied by his better half. On arriving at
Austin, he mounted stand that had been e.
rected under shade tree for the purpose of
dealing out whiskey, and announced himself
in the following manner:
s'Fcller subjcks and gintilmen, hain't cum
deown yere to fight tho when I'm tn hum
kin take deown anything aithly. L kin skin
the best and smartest human coon that ever
cracked eye over rife. | kin But, Pm
deown yere on a leckshuneerin' speckulashun.
I'm goIn' to run fur the State Congress-by
the great creation, am.
s'Feler subjicks my maiden name is Simeon
for short Sim-Sim Tallman; and as have en-
tered the perlitical ie Id for State Congress, l
feel it duty tu give you an idee of my per-
sishun the great perlitical questions that
am rumblin' through the mountings.
ssFeller subjicks, l have addrest the hull
popylashun of this yere deestrict clean deowr
to yere, and now l stand yere the exponent ot
universal freedom the candydate of ever
lastin' liberty. The genius of our commin
kuntry calls aloud from the tops Of the Ale
gangs to the answering echoes of the gray
beard Pacific, to put deown tyranny and COM
preston. And I'm jist goin' few dew it, tew.
(That's it Sim, Civ it tn them said Poll.) /
have heerd from my mounting hum the cry of
distressed Christians speakin' in thunderin'
whispers to the independent voters cf the
world, and askin' them in plaintiff words to
riskue her from the grip of power. Men and
winmin of Ameriky, ask you ef these things
are to go forrard unchecked 20
"No! no - cried Poll, much excited.
s'Of course not! feller men the blood of
the old foxes martyrs iurbids it; the old man
tottering on the brink raises his palsied hands
agin it the infant rockin' hisself to slumber
in the parental cradle of centuries is averse to
it; the spirit of our four fathers won't STAN
it; and won't STAN it, NEITHER
ssThat's right, put in the hifalutin' licks,'
said Poll.
eyes, feller men from wall to wall of this
CRATE land, the screech of the great American
bird is heard as he flaps his wings, and calls US
to deeds of glory, as we hang our dignity on
the north pole, and sweep to the south with
overwhelmin' power
-HsNow say suthin' about Gineral Jackson an
scriptur,'' suggested his prompter.
.sYes, feller subjicks! the eggsample of the
great hero, Gineral Jackson, tells US how tew
act. He waded, at the fight in Lexin'ton. up to
his knees in mud. Shell we not dew so, tew !
In the crate battil of Niagary he split his boots
with glory. Let's do likewise ! Who would
not luv his kuntry2 The voice OF nashuns
calls our souls to arms. We answer the in
vite Recolmember what scriptur says: It's
easyer fur q needle to go thru the eye NV a
kamel than fur a man to hate his natif land.
ssIn konklushun, feller subjicks, 1 say; by
the Everlastin' Jewrewsalum and the great
boot on the foot of the mounting, I'm prober-
bly, the most courageous hero in all this yere
deestrict, and eff all of yeou don't want to be
scratched off the lists of livin' men yeou can
Jest go to the polls and vote fur me and if I'm
beat, whT, I'll be teetotally ram-squattled an
chopped up to make soup for Injin babies, ef
I-don't jest pull up stakes and adjourn to moro
preferable pasturs. Wal, meow, that's sensi-
bic, amt it. Let's licker.''
1t is hardly necessary to say, that Sim was
elected to the estate Congress- by an over
whelming majority.