The Kanzas news., 1857-10-24

and were happy, Yankee fashion, without
comment or demonstration. but very happy
Uncle Josh united with the hechurch, and was
no disgrace to his profession, save and ex-
cept in one thing-he would swearl Vain
ly did deaeons, brethren and pastor assail
him with exhortation, remonstranee and ad-
vice; vainly did his meek wife look at him
with pleading eyes; vainly did he himself
repent and strive. and watch, the stump oi
Dragon remained and was not to be easily
uprooted.
At length Parson Pitcher, being greatly
scandalized at Josh's expletives, used un-
luckily in somewhat excited meeting IN
church business, for in prayer meetings he
never answered any calls to rise, but habit
should get the better of him, and shock the
very sinners he might exhort) Parson Pitch
er himself made PASTORAL call at the farm,
and found its master in the garden hoeino
corn manfully.
Good day, Mr. Cranep said the old gen
tleman.'
Good day, Parson Pitcher good day!
ID hot day, sir, answered the uncon-
scious Josh.
Not so hot as hell for swearers!' sternly
replied the Parson, who being of family
renowned in New England for noway mine
ing matters, sometimes verged upon profan-
ity himself, though unawares. Josh threw
down his hoe in despair.
'Oh Lord!' said he, there it goes again,
I swear the dogs take it! If / don't
keep goin'! Oh, Parson Pitcher, what
shall dew? it swears of itself. am clene
beat tryin' to head it off, CON mol I
mean confuse it all! Pm such an old hand
at the wheel sirl'
Luckily for Josh the Parsons risibles
were hardly better in hand than his own
profanity, and it took him now long time
to pick up his cane, which he had dropped
in the currant bushes while Josh stood among
the cornhills wiping the sweat off his brow,
in an abject state of patience and humility,
and as the Parson emerged like full moon
from the leafy currants, he felt more chari-
tably disposed towards Josh than he had
done before. 1T is very bad thing, Mr.
Crane,' said he, mildly. Not merely for
yourself, but it scandalizes the church MEM
bers, and l think you should take severe
measures to break up the habit.
what upon arth shall do, sir?' piteous-
" asked Josh, 'it is the d-dest plague!
oh! swan to man I've done it againi'
And here, with long howl, Josh threw
himself down in the weeds, and kicked out
like half broken colt, wishing in his soul
the earth would hide him, and trying to feel
as bad as he ought to, for his honest con-
science sturdily refused to convict him in
this matter, faithful as it was in less sound
ing sins.
l grieve to say that Parson Pitcher got
behind an apple tree, and there-cried per-
hapsl for he was wiping his eyes and shak-
ing all over when he walked off, and Josh,
getting up considerably in state of dust,
if not ashes and sack-cloth, looked sheepish-
II about for his reprover, but he was gone.
Parson Pitcher convened the deacons and
a few of the uneasy brethren that night in
his study, and expounded to them the duty
of charity for people who would sleep in
meeting; had to drink bitters for their stom-
ach's sake; never came to missionary meet
ings for fear of the contribution box; or
swore without knowing it.; and as Deacon
Stone did now and then snore under the
pulpit, and Brother Eldridge had 'rheu-
matiz' that nothing but chokeberry rum
would cure, and that is very apt to affect the
head, and Brother Peters had so firm con-
viction that money is the root of all evil,
that he kept his from spreading, they all
agreed to have patience with Brother Crane s
tongue-ill; and Parson Pitcher smiled as he
shut the door behind them, thinking of that
first stone that no elder could throw.
Nevertheless, he paid another visit to Josh
the next week, and found him in hopeful
state.
1've hit ont now, Parson Pitcher!' said
he, without waiting for more usual saluta-
ton.
Miss Eunice she helped me, she's mas
ter cfeatur for inventions sugar! there!
that's it When I'm goin' to speak quick,
l catch up something else that's got the
same letter on the bows, and tell yeW! it
goes i-'r else it's somethin'. Holla! l see
them d-dipper sheep is in my corn-Git
aout git aoutl you d-dandelions GIT
aouti = Here he scrambled away after the
stray sheep, just in time for the Parson,
who had quieted his face and walked in to
see Mrs. Crane, when Josh came back, drip
ping and exclaiming ''Peppergrass them
is the d-drownedest sheep ever see =
This new spell of Miss Eunice's,' as
Josh always called his wife, worked well
while it was new; but the unruly tongue
elapsed, and meek Mrs. Crane had
grown to look upon it as she would upon a
wooden leg, had that been Josh's infrmity
with pity and regret, the purest result of
a charity which 'endureth and hopeth all
things eminently her ruling trait.
Everything else went on prosperously !;
the farm paid well, and Josh laid up money,
but never for himself They had no child
ren-a sore disappointment to both their
kindly hearts; but all the poor and orphan
little ones in the town seemed to have spe-
cial claim on their care and help. Nobody
ever went away hungry from Josh's door,
or unconsoled from Miss Eunice's keeping
ROOM Everybody loved them both, and in
time people forgot that Josh swore; but he
never did. A keen pain discomforted him
whenever he saw child look nm asfoniShed