The Lancaster ledger. [volume] (Lancaster, S.C.) 1852-1905, 1857-04-22
Suu1ag Rt111J.
A PASTORS EXPERIENCE,

Three years had now passed away, and
no conversion had occurred. With my
preaching all my people appeared to be
well satisfied. Some said if the church
would awake, we might see a different
time. Some said we need not look for a
constant revival. Others still thought
that in his own good time God would
come by his Spirit, and his work would 60
on.
But, as a pastor, | was going to thejudg-
ment seat, TO meet my bearers. Had |
done all | could Was there nothing in
my manner, Was there nothing in my heart
that grievcd tie Spirit. l tremblel to
answer such questions.
took the Spirits lest" into my study,
determined to see if Haxter hal ANYTHING
appropriate to my case. | had not read
far before a spirit of fear and trembling
came over me. What If | should lose
heaven at last? Then all my life came up
in solemn review. The ruin ofthe damn
cd, who lose heaven and endure the tor
ments OF final despair, seemed a great and
terrible reality. But the light of Gods
c~ountenance seemed fAken away from me.
| felt undonc.
Sabbath IN | must preach. Bot
could think OF nothing but those terrible
comparisons Of Baxter about what the lost
sinner will lose, and what he will endure
if he sinks to hell. | preached to Chris.
tians rs one that felt most deeply for pro-
f~eSsors, but most Of all for myself. Ny
sins against the law, against the mercy
OF food, against the pity Of Jesus, seemed
sinking me.
In the congregation, | observed a lady
who appeared to swallow every word.
went soon and visited her. She was i'm.
psuitent. She felt like a ruined sinner
She WAS afraid there was no mercy for her
| told her her sins were much create
probably than she had any conception OF
| visited her the second and third time
She had not a tear to shed. She had Ia
ken sides with the law, justice, and judy
ment, against herself. She was in bite
anguish. She said she was lost, that sh
could not pray, that nothing in the Bib
gave her the least hope. saw her again
| found her sinking INTO a terrible gloom
She wanted to know if | thought Their,
could be any hope. At this, | betook my
self to Calvary. | showed her the rocl
that was cleft. | showed her the bound
less of Jesus. 1t was while talking to he
of the boundless mercy of God that Iigh
broke into my own mind Ny own despai
gave way to a flood Of joy. | left hel
and sought a place to weep forjoy. be
held the ever blessed Saviour. | felt tn
streams Of mercy flowing warm from hi
piercing side.
But as soon as left her, she though
her last hope was taken away. Sh
thought that | Iespaired Of her conversion
and for this reason had suddenly left he,
Then away alone. Her sins were Xix
mountains. No friend could help her,
she stood on the cIumbling brink OF woe
1t seemed to her that she deserved eterna
despair. 1t was then that she dropped o.
her knees, aid cried in bitter groans. |
pleased the Saviour now to show her hi
compassion. She wept. Tears fell il
gushing streams. She thought, Oh, hoy
could | have sinned against such love
such pity, such glory.
When | next saw her, she appeared lik
one who could not forgive herself, that sh
had lived all her days in sin. But oh
the love of Jesus to her she could neve
tell.
By this time. wherever | went in all IN
parish, sinners were awakened. Ny in
quiry meeting was crowded. My congre
cations were solemn. But this was tn
type ofthe work from first to last; whethe
p~enitent or impenitent, all took sides will
justice against themselve, and sued 70
mercy as the last hope. And when tn
converts offered themselves for admission
to the church, mercy vas all their PEA
american Ness.