Raftsman's journal. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1854-1948, 1857-08-05
SUIT LovENGooD's DADDY ACTING Hoss.
AN AMUSING sKETCH.

AN AACSING SktfCH-
| oHold that ere hoss down to tie yearth
| He's spreadin' his tail to fly now. Keep him
| whar he Is. Woa, woa, Shavetail. He's dan
| cling jig.''
| These and like expressions were addressed
| to queer-looking, long-legged, short bodied,
small-headed, white-haired, hog-eyed, funny
| sort of genius, fresh from some nd-hand
clothing store, and mounted on ssTarpole," a
nick-taled, long, poor horse, half brandy, half
| imp, and envcloped all over in perfect net
work of bridle-reins, cruppers, martingales,
| straps, circingles, and red feretin, who had
| reined up in front of Pat Nack's grocery, a
| mong crowd of mountaineers, full OF fight
and bad whiskey.
| 81 say, You darned ash cats, jist keep your
| shirts on, will You? You never seed raal
| hoss till rid up. Tarpole is jist next to the
best hoss that ever shelled corn nubbins, and
he's dead as still-worm-poor old Ticky-
tail.''
ssWhat killed him, Sut ?'' asked an anxious
inquirer.
ssWhy, nuthin, you tarnel fool he tiist died,
standin' up, at that. Warn't that good pluck
Froze stiff; no, not that adzackly, but starved
fust, and then froze afterwards, SO stiff that
when dad and me pushed him over, he jist
stuck out SO, (spreading his arms and legs)
like carpenters bench, and we waited seven
| teen days for him to thaw afore could skin
him. Well, thar we was-dad am me-(coun-
ting his fingers> dad an me, Sal am Jake,
(foo! Jake We used to call him for short } and
Phineas, and Simeon, and Charlottean, and
Calline Jane, and Cashus Henry Clay, and No.
ah Dan Webster, and me, and the twin gals,
| and Catharine Second, and Cleopatra Antony,
and Jane Lind, and Tom Bullion, and the ba-
| by, and the prospect, and marm herself, left
| without any hoss to crap with. That was a
| nice mess fur spectacle family to be slashin'
about in, warn't it declare if 1 didn't feel
| like Stealin' hoss sometimes. Well, we wait
ed and waited until well into strawberry time,
hopin' some stray hoss mout come along, but
dog my cats eff eny sich luck as that ever
comes whar dad is, he is so drafted mean, an
| lazy, and stinkin', and ugly, and savage, and
| trifin'.
| "Well, one mite, dad he lay awake all mite,
| a snortin' and rolin' and whisperin' at
marm, and next mornin' sez he. 'Sut, I'll tell
| you what we'll do; I'll be hoss myself. and
| pull the plow, while you drive me, and we'll
break up corn ground, and then the old quilt
| (that's marm) and the brats kin plant it or let
it alone, jist as they please. So out we goes
to the pawpaw thicket, and pealed right
smart chance of bark, and marin and me made
gears for dad, and they became him nightly
then he would have a bride SO gifts out of
| an old umbrella what / found-it's little
| forled piece of iron, sorter like unto pitch
| fork, We know-and we bent and twisted it sor-
ter untu bride bit, snail shape, Tdad wanted
! it kurb, as he said he hadn't worked for some
time and might sorter feel his oats and 60 to
cavortin'.l Well, when we got the bride all
fixed on dad, he chomped thc'bit like rale
hoss, (hc always was complicated old fool
eny how, and marin alters said so when he
warn't about,l then put on the geers, and out
dad ard ME goes to the field, a leadin dad
by the bride, and totin' the gopher plow on
my back. When we come to the fence let
down gap and made dad mad, he wanted to
jump the fence on all fours, hoss ways. /
hitched him on to the gopher, and away We
went, dad leanin' forward to his pullin, right
peart, and We made sharp plowin' right over
the only difference is, he went on two legs
ssPresently We cum to sassafrac patch, and
dad, to keep up his karacter as a hoss, bulged
square into it, and tore down a hornets nest
| nigh on to as big as a hoss head, and all the
tribe kivered him right strate. He rared and
kicked once or twice, and fetched a squeal wus
nor any hoss in the district, and sot into rum
MIN away, jist natural as ever you seed. /
let go the lines and holered, woa, dad, woai
| but you mout as well have said woa to a loco
motive. Gewhilikins, how he rum When
he cum to bush, he clear the top of it, GO
pher and all; p'raps he thort there mont be
another nest Of bald hornets in it, and that it
war safer to go over than thrue, and quicker
dun; every now and then he'd paw one side
of his head with fust one fore leg and then
tother, and then he'd gin himself an OPEN
handed slap, that sounded like a wagon whip,
and runnin all the timas.and karryin' that 60
pher just about as fast and high from the yearth
as ever gopher was carried, swar. When
he cum to the fence he busted right thrue it,
tarin' down nigh on to seven pannels, scatter
in' and breakin' the rails nightly, and here
he left the gopher, geers, singletree and kieT-
is, all mixed up, moth wuth durn- Most of
his shirt stuck to the splintered end OF bro
ken rale, and nigh onto pint of hornets staid
with the shirt, stingin it all over. the Daiahce
on ,em. about gallon and a hall, kept on with
dad. He seemed to run jist adzactay as fast as
| a hornet could fly, for itwar the tightest race
eyer did see Down thrue the grass they all