davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Indiana American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1833-1861, 1857-08-07

Moore mentions very amusing
anecdote of John Kemble. He was
performing one night in country
theater, in favorite part, and being
interrupted from time to time by the
squalling of child in one of the gal
leries, he came out, not little angry
at the rival performance. Walking
with solemn step to the front of the
stage, and addressing the audience in
his most tragic tone, he said: "Unless
the play is stopped the child cannot
possibly go on" The loud laugh
which followed this ridiculous trans
position of his meaning, relaxed even
the nerves of Hamlet, and he was
compelled to laugh with his auditors.
Indiana American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1833-1861, 1857-08-07
rHr DUTCH wIpowra


"MIne frow yos no better ~ she orr
10 be, till shust before she diet; and
then she was 40 goot ~ before, re.
marked Mr.. Vanderhoad 10 HE neigh.
Dor.
"Your wife was on amiabIc woman
and you do great injustice 10 her
memory" said Mr.. Pluggins.
"vell, vot you know 80 much about
mine frowg"
~ was not intimate with her, but
am sure oil her acquaintance loved
her"
"vot right had they to love herg--
May be-
"May be what2'
"Nay be you loved mine frow too
"Why do you speak 10 strangely
"Vy, Won day pig ugly man shust
like you, came into mine house, and
kiss mine frow right before her face "
"Werc you present."
ITO pc sure l yos.
swell, what did Jon doy"
~ kicked him right pehind his
pack"
did he resent III"
"Yaw, he broke me and 10 looking
glass, and ell the rest OF the crockery
in tho house, cept the fedder ped, In
10 smash"
"What did you do thcn2"
"Then / cried mnterl muterl mntcrl
and | called the Shudge and the Shu-
ry, and 10 tho police officer, and the
constable to come, and he runned
away"
"Do you intend TO charge me with
taking such unwarrantable liberties
with the companion Of yonr bosom?"
"Me no sharge nothing for II now,
pecause she pc tead and perried."
~ will not allow You 10 make such
insinuations. lou are an old tyrant
and every body saio you were glad
your wife died"
Every pody pc Won tam liar"
u saw no SYM toms OF sorrow"
'Me felt more worse tan II my pest
COW had tied"
"Your cowl What comparison. ="
"She vos great loss--a heavy loss
for she vos so pig as dat, (spread-
ing out his arms, and she weighed
moro as two hundred pounds"
"Look out old man or you will see
trouble-I don't believe your wife
was ever kissed by any man after her
marriage. At all events you must
apologize for what You have said to
me-"
"Vot is apologiseY'
-"You must beg my pardon, and say
you are sorry; ii you do not l will
enter complaint against you, and
have you arrested"
II pc sorry, then"
"Sorry for what2'
"Sorry that you kiss mine frow.
"You incorrigible idiot. That is
not what you must say, for / never
did such a thing in my life"
"Must pc sorry you never did
such thing?"
''No-you mnst now take back
what you have said"
While the Dutchman was in this
dilemma, his friend Hans Hamburg
er came along and finally succeeded
in reconcilng the parties, when the
trio adjourned to neighboring cof-
fee house.
Indiana American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1833-1861, 1857-08-07
A Revolutionary Cannon Bail Unexpectedly
Fired.


In Norfolk, Virginia, on the second
Of July, certain persons who were
mindful Of what was due to the prop
er celebration Of Independence Day,
came to the conclusion 70 clean out an
old cannon, which had been lying
around ever since the Revolutionary
War, with q view Of preparing it for
the firing Of salute. After trying q
considerable length of time to clear
1t out from the muzzle, and finding il
impossible, they went to work at tho
vent or touch-hole. This was soon
opened, and by dint Of perseverance
the dirt within the chamber was haul
ed out by thimbles full, till enough
room was made to pour in an ounce
or two Of gun-powder. The piece
was then primed, and the match ap-
piled, when, very much to their sur
prise, an Unexpectedly smart explo-
sion took place from the mouth of the
piece, something whizzed across the
street, and there was crashing in
the wood Of the door of the United
Fire Engine House, opposite. An
Investigation showed a respectable
sized hole in the pannel of the door,
and inside an old six-pound cannon
ball was found on the floor. The old
cannon had not been used since the
time when it was last loaded for the
especial benefit Of the British troops
seventy-seven years ago, and the ar
tillerymen who then rammed home
the ball, little expected how many
times the grass would grow and with
er again above their graves, before
the missile should be discharged. II
was very appropriate that a cannon
loaded by the patriots of 1776, should
be fired in commemoration Of their
time-honored and glorious deeds.
Indiana American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1833-1861, 1857-08-07
A CHARACTERISTIC PARODY
DEDICATED TO ouR YOUNG FRIENDS


You'd scarce expect one of my age.
To smoke cigars and look 80 sage;
And IL ! should moustache wear,
although the hair is very spare,)
Don't view me with critics eve,
But pass my little whiskers by.
BIa AcHEs from LITTLE ToEcoRSs flow;
And though NY beard is short and young,
OF tender growth, and lately sprung,
Yet all the whiskers in the town,
Once existed but In DOWN.
But why may not JoHSSr's face
BE covered ike others of his race
Exceed what Tow and STEVE have done,
Or any man beneath the sun?
Where's the whiskA<s, far or near,
That do not find rival here?
Or where's the boy but three feet high,
Who has more FUZZY beard than Z
Indiana American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1833-1861, 1857-08-07

B6-A MorHER's CouSsEL.-Forty
years ago mother stood on the green hills
Of Vermontholding by the right hand ason
sixteen years old, mad with love Of the
sea. And. as she stood by the garden
gate a sunny morning. she said, Edwin
they tell me--for i never saw the ocean
that thegreat temptation ofthe seaman 4
life is drink. Promise me, before you
quit you mothers hand, that you will
never drink" Igave her the promise
and Invent the broad globe over-Calcutta,
the Mediterranean, San Francisco, the
Cape Of Good Hope, the North Pole and
the South-lsaw them all in forty. years,
and never saw glass filled with spark
ling liquor thatmy mothers form by the
garden gate. on the green hill side Of
Vermont. did not rise before me: and TO-
day, at sixty, my lips are innocont OF
the taste Of liquor.
Indiana American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1833-1861, 1857-08-07

na- Bob, Harry Smith has one of
the greatest curiosities You ever
saw"
"Don't say so-what is it?"
"a tree which never sprouts, and
which becomes smaller she older il
grows"
"Well, that is a curiosity. Where
did he get it p
From California"
"What is the name ofit?'
"Axle-tree 1t once belonged 70
California omnibus"
Indiana American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1833-1861, 1857-08-07

De- II want TO 60 to Albany and
back, to see,my granddaughter, said
respectable-looking, simple-hearted
old lady, to the ticket-seller Of the
Hudson River Railroad.
1--WE don't sell return tickets, mad
am replied the clerk, with deferen-
tial politeness.
"Don't sellreturn ticketsl' exclaim
ed the old lady with surprise; "then /
shan't go, for wouldn't like 20 60
away from home fcreverw
Indiana American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1833-1861, 1857-08-07

BeA- Quite joke happened to one
Of tho doctor craft, some time ago.
He ordered some very powerful med
icine for sick boy, and the father
not liking the appearance of itforccd
IL down the cats throat. When the
doctor called again, and inquired if
the powder had cured the boy, the
father replied
1--WE did not give tito him.
"Good Heavenlp said the doctor lie
the child living
aYes, but the cut ain't-we gave il
TO her"
Indiana American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1833-1861, 1857-08-07

D6- In the campaign Of Al Henry
Clay was the Wing Candidate. A
Liberty party man, making speech
somewhere in New Hampshire object
ed very strongly to the gallant Ken
tuckian on the ground of his being a
duelist. This done, he began to glo-
rify hisown party as small innumbers
but destined to achieve great things.
He compared it to David going forth
with sling ond stones TO combat with
the gigantic Goliath. Piling up the
eloquence, he reached the climax ut
last, and cried out "And then
fellow citizens, what did David do?
EFT a de,cei, SIR" came in shrill tones
from one of the assembly.
Indiana American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1833-1861, 1857-08-07

VERY GRAPHIc.-The Home Jour-
nal makes the following report Of q
stanza as pathetically sung by pri-
ma donna at n New York concert
Those who are familiar with the song
of the "Old Arm Chair as sung by
Russell, may discover a slight resem-
blance:
"Hi lo-hoveit, hi lo-hovei il,
And who-oo sha-hall da-hare
To-hoo chi-hi-hide me for lo-hoving
That o-ho-hold a-harm cha-hairY
Indiana American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1833-1861, 1857-08-07

p6- Dow, Jr., i'm allusion to the exclu-
sion Of many would-be church-goers
from the sanctuary, by reason of the
high pew rents in our fashionable
churches, remarks:
"The reason why so many Of you
20 10 Beelzebub, is because you cant
afford TO go TO Heaven at the present
exhorbitant prices"
Indiana American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1833-1861, 1857-08-07

M A little fellow FIVE years old
ran across the street, and in his course
ran between the forelegs Of horse.
which was rapidly passing along. A
man who saw the occurrence, ran and
snatched the boy, supposing he was
injured in the attempt. But the boy,
unhurt, very pertly calculated:
"Let him keep his horse ont of my
way; what do care 4"
Indiana American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1833-1861, 1857-08-07
Gbaits pastg,
n L " AS
AoRD SEVEN MONTHS.
nv ANNIE D. JRNKINs.

ny ANNIE D. JENKINS.
Three summers have shaken thelr roses
Thslr twilight hour
Dropped gems where oardsrling rerosss,
An ssrly pslsa nower. f1f
weary, pale aower;--yst the aagels
Greater Lore bore than We,
And stopping. bore away eur evangei'
twin eherub 10 be,
Away fsom onr aghs-and the rases
Nov bloom DER his bed
The bed where the earthly reposes,
The bright soul hath ned.
Another sweet lamb 20 ''the meadow
The bright angels bore;
And the shephrd doth keep back all shadow
Away from thai shore.
wrsr EIkrox. ONO.
Indiana American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1833-1861, 1857-08-07

BEING WOUND UP.-A lady acquain.
tance informs us, that as she was
passing through 23rd street, she saw
an elegantly dressed lady, creeping
along tho pavement, and up the steps
of house, where she rang the bell
i'm great haste. Guess what was the
matter? A pair Of new fashioned
steel hoops had broken and wound
around. her person, with tenacity
that rendered il impossible for her tc
walk.
Indiana American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1833-1861, 1857-08-07
BARE SKINS AND ruRs.-Tho edito

BARE SKINS AND FuRs.-Tho editor
of the Cynthana (Ky) Age having re-
Gently attended ball, says:
1--WE noticed great variety Of fe-
male costume at the last Bachelors
Ball. Some Of the ladies danced with
warm fur capes, made ofotter or sable,
while others had their necks and
shoulders protected from the inclem-
ent season and gaze Of the world, by
white bare skins, very beautiful"
Indiana American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1833-1861, 1857-08-07
THE OLD M AID :
ny EMMA ALICE BROWN.

TIL Z OLD M "A L d.
NJ EMMA ALICE BROWN.
Ala. alas for The summers nownl H
For the beautiful joys that have known
on, Tor the hours. sublime with youth.
woi for the ruined shrine Of truth
One eve my lover said te me,
In the mnrmurous shade Of garden-tree--
Holding my hand. and snc sthing my hair,
Kissing. my eyes. and.my forehead fair
All The sweets Of all the hours
All the birds and bees and nowers--
AL the suns that have ever shone-
All the winds that have ever blown III.
All the dim seas that dreaming lie
Under the arch Of the summer sky
All the glorious morns that wake
All the splendor sfhue- that break
On the starry coasts Of the eye divine,
0'srnoEn with the sunsets purple wlne--
We've never half, nor half so bright
A my own hearts Mabel isto-nishf:
30 he talked, while the shadow feet
Ran under tho woods, and over the wheat
Alas. alas! for the summers gone,
And the besntifai Tuise my youth put on,
Willie Is married. and am alone,
counting my heArt-breaks one BY one.
Willie Is married 10 Nsllie Gray,
Asd am alonsin the world to-day
The saddea thing that ever wasbom,
A drsar, old maid, forsaken, AMI Iorn
Two children froiie al wiIlis's knee,
And one, the fairssi, he calls for me,
she has my gIrihoods eyes and mouth,l
But not lhe sorrow that stunned my youth
On, winIel when counties years have flown,
And God shalt roll the sorrovfuI stone
From the grave Of she dead past, and the ligh,
of HE awfui justice makes All iilthiags bright
when starry erowned and glorlhed,
We dwell In his presence side BY side,
Whore the flowers os the soul fade not away. ;.
WIN Jon love ne best, or Nellie Gray
Indiana American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1833-1861, 1857-08-07

D5-The other day an old lady
rushed into the garden in search Of her
daughter, on being told that the girl
had gone there with q "rake."
Indiana American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1833-1861, 1857-08-07

BeA- A man beng sympathiscd with
on account of his wife rnnning away,
said, "Dont pity me till she comes
back again. 1fe sHfH
Indiana American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1833-1861, 1857-08-07

Ass not iof beauty tls CLEAN
That tnss the morning sky;
Iask not Tor learning stream
ThAt xliass anheedsd by;
ash not for wlt-.-lt IL q n.sh
That on blinds reasons eye;
fask noFfor gold. .--'.ls gllusrlng trash
THAT causes many sigh.
ask good sense, a taste refined,
candour with prudence blsnded;s
A feeling heart a virinous nlnd.
Win charity attended.
.Se$@
~ rhsrs's asay asp vwt<t cup ana w.
Indiana American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1833-1861, 1857-08-07

p0r Why are country girls checks
like well-printed cotton? Because
they are warranted 10 wash and keep
their color.
Indiana American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1833-1861, 1857-08-07

GUINEA IIENs.-Somebody calls
these noisy birds, the "speckled par
ody Of a machine shop"
Indiana American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1833-1861, 1857-08-07

ps- Look on the bright side eff ev-
erything
The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1857-07-22
A Flower i'll your Room.

A fire in winter, flower in summer
If You can have fine print or picture all
the year round, so much the better; you
will thus always have a bit of sunshine in
your room, whether the sky be clear Or
not But above oil, flower in the sum
mer
Most people have yet to learn the true
enjoyment of life it is not tne dresses, or
large houses, or elegant furniture, or
rich wines, or gay parties, that make
homes happy. Really, wealth cannot
purchase pleasures of higher sort: these
depend not on money, or moneys worth; ;
it is the heart, and taste, and intellect,
which determine the happiness Of men;
which give the seeing eye and the senti-
ment nature, and without which, man is
little better than o kind Of walking clothes
horse.
A snug and clean home no matter
how tiny it be, so that it be wholesome;
windows, into which the sun can shine
chcerlv; few good books, land who
need be without few good books in
these days of universal cheapness y no
duns at the door, and the cupboard we'll
supplied, and with flower in your room |!
and there in none so poor as not to have
about him the elements of pleasure.
The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1857-07-22

on life's journey-striking a rock from
whence shall gush fountain of pure wa
ter, refreshing to many faint and dis
heartened denizen of this cold world Of
oura No new measure" is proposed
no new principle in Science, Art, Politics
or Mechanics, is promulgated, but these
busy Printers-these ready thinkers
seize upon it and proceed to "enlighten
the public" upon its bearings and its appi-
cations-for wonderfully practical set
are they. Educated, as they generally
are, in the sternest of all systems, that Of
hard-won experience, they look at life as
Reality, diverted Of false adornments
and outward shows. By the time that
they arrive at their manhood's years, for
their Printer life must needs commence
early-they have won the right to stand
among men many years their seniors and
call them equals. "Tho poor boys col
lege" has fitted them for such life strug-
gle as few "outsiders" know Of With a
brave heart, but slim purse-of often with
naught but his ssrule" in bis pocket-many
a typo leaves the scene of his earlier ex-
perience to 60 forth "to seek his fortune"
in some distant section. If everything
else fails him, you may rest assured his
stock of brass never will. With this and
an indomitable perseverance, and without
q particle of greenness," you may trust
the "jour. printer" to make bis way wher-
ever he may place himsef.-Freeport
(Wl Journal
The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1857-07-22
A WIFE, OUT WEST.

We have seldom seen anything more
exquisitely womanly and captivating than
the following letter, not written for publ
cation, but coming from wife who ac-
companied her husband to Kansas. The
Porthmouth Tribune, giving it, says,
that on getting to their place of settle
ment in Kansas, they stopped first in a
Lighthouse where they chad held the bed
clothes with their teeth to keep them from
blowing away" And thus runs the rest
of the letter:
!" wish to goodness that l could give
you drawing of our house and furni-
ture, but can't do the thing Justice
Tho house is about as large as your kitch-
en-. The logs are beautifully hewed in
tho inside, (they still retain their natural
appearance on the outside.) l have the
greatest quantity Of kindlings by just go
ing around the soolls and pulling them off.
We will have enough to last several years
if wo have good luck. We have no win
dow, but something far more convenient
made by simply moving the shingles to
one side, MS they are not nailed; it an
swers every purpose. The day we GIT
here, Mr.. s., made table and cup
board, and two benches, Zone has back. J
AS our bcdstead has not yet come from
''The Pint" we make our beds on the
floor. We have two shelves where we
put all our pretty things. Three or four
bags hanging around the walls help the
APPEARANCE of them very mnch. My guitar
occupies friendly position near the meal
bag. | have nice little cooking stove,
which bakes very well. We have no
chairs, or anything that "town people re-
quire.
II wish you had seen us eating our
first dinner; we had no dishes. Charley
ate off a single; Mr.. s., took the lid Of
the stove! M ate off her bread; | had
big piece of brown paper. We drank
our ter and'cotfee out Of tin cups. D
- and Mr.. s. have. made two of the
incest gardens yon ever saw. They fenc-
ed them, and all in three days-and I
wish you could see my hands! But /
have been very happy-it is 50 nice to
LEOTE CuOUC UIN OfCC . HuoUtd|CUs
day l did three weeks washing. D.
is very well, and as happy as he can be-
He has wagon and a yoke of oxen,
COW and cali, two turkeys and two dogs
which, l believe, is all the stock we have
vet We have not seen butter since we
left the boat-it is not fashionable here
D. is going to build house next week
"a frame one, too. How l wish you
were here; l long to see you. The
country is lovely, and we have splendid
place. l have two beautiful bouquets
| gathered yesterday when | went with
D. after wood. / rode in an ox-wagon |!
1t has been SO cold lately that I have
worn two dresses. l thing the comet
does it; what do you think of it by this
time! We have the most gooseberries
and raspberries you ever saw, all near
the house; besides strawberres all around
the door, and plenty of wild plums.'
The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1857-07-22
The Forehead.

Many ladies suppose that high fore
head is essential to beauty, and hard have
been the tortures inflicted by them to get
rid of the natural covering of hair which
grew down too far upon their foreheads to
suit their ideas of taste and beauty. The
razor has been frequently applied to make
q high and smooth forehead, and depila-
tory powders extensively used to kill the
roots of the hair and produce the same
result. A writer in an exchange holds
the following very sensible views, backed
up with good authority
The notion that high foreheads in wo-
men are indispensable to beauty, came into
vogue with chronology. Not long ago,
many fine lady" shaved her head to
give it an intellectual appearance, and
the custom of combing the hair back from
the forehead probably originated in a
similar manner. When the somewhat
peculiar fact is considered, that great
expanse of forehead gives bold, mas
culine look, and that from IRONS
(forehead) comes the word effrontery, it
will not be wondered at that the ancient
painters, sculptors, and poets considered a
low forehead charming thing in wo-
man; and, indeed, indispensable to wo-
manly beauty. Horace praises Lycoris
for her low forehead, and Martial COM
mends the same grace Of feature as deci-
dedly rs he praises the arched eyebrow.
Nature, higher authority still, has dis
tinguished many of the most beautiful of
the sex in the same way.
The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1857-07-22
OUR STATE.

Wisconsin, although scarce twenty
years old, is making rapid advancement
in population, there being now 100000
inhabitants. Large bodies of emigranta
are pouring in from every portion of the
globe, bringing with them considerable
sums of money, and strong and willing
hearts and hands. Thousands Of acres of
her fertile farming lands are being brought
into cultivation yearly, and already large
amounts of surplus grain are shipped,
after having beautifully supplied the wants
of her own children. Manufactures ara
being established throughout the State of
the various articles needed for home con-
sumption, and general system o. .railro' d
improvements have been entered into with
ample means to complete them. She
already has several fourishing colleges
with liberal endowmcnts, and able and
learned facilities; among them arc the
State University in our city, with fund
yielding some s25, 900 annual income: the
Lawrence University at Appleton, founded
by the liberality Of Amos Lawrence, Esq;
Carol College at Waukesha, together
with many other most excellent educational
institutions throughout the State. She
has also adopted system Of public in
stuctions containing many of the best tca-
lures of the systems of the Eastern States,
thereby rendering a homo within her Dor
ders, desirable to those who prize educa-
tiona advantages. With all these advanta-
ges-unlilnited mineral resources, vast for
SITS of valuable timber, her beautiful prair-
les and lakes, her healthy invigorating
climate-she is destined to become the
Queen of the Northwest. ~ Mad. Patriot.