Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1857-03-21
A .COcixmeY Sold.

II 90 BOZ n GOcAHey sSOAO. ew
!, The Cnnard steamer had just arrived,
land amongst its assorted cargo Of live ami
,lmals, came a precious English cousin Of
mine. He hadn't been ashore two hours
before no began to run down this conntrya
and everything in it. He was strong on
the Yankees, and | was some on the Brit
lish. He let into the stars and stripes and
III gave the English ugridiron" particular
Jessie. He swore the Yankees were ma
'ltion of greenhorns and l smiled aid mem
,ltioned New Orleans. He turned as red as
a boiled lobster, and accused mic Of atatt.
ting upon facts.''H as sat sssof g 7s.iFtga
i s'Factsp said I, Il was getting riled,)
Eyes, ! mean to twit upon facts You
LAUNDERING Coekndys come over with your
lnarrow-briniii.ed hats and eyes, glasses, yeur
lpatifchess htttfed up with feast beef, aid
I your. faces painted and bloated with beer;
land before you're been here long enough
to get.aiEed, you pitch into and find faiilt
with everything you see and hear; and it
la Yankee dare retort, you get as red as the
coats upon the back Of H. B. Ms troops
/ If the mention Of New Orleans stirs tip
your bile so, wonder what you think Of
the ship Constitution, and the sinking of
that crack British frigate in fifteen Minis
utesa''
! Here my cousin was seized with fit OF
shivering, and | magnanimously gave HIM
| my hand L. did. forgive, but couldn't
forget his insuferabe contemptuousness
and self conceit in, calling us all gfeen-
horns. My yankee blood would boil, and
made up my mind that if ever an oppor-
tunity occurred, I'd show my John Bull
cousia that Yankee was as smast as an
Englishman any day. Il.
! / was sitting in the Office one day shoit-
| " after our little dispute, when in COMES
my Cockney friend. IS o4 ga@ h9aegta25
/ "Halov cried /. tld l.s a 81 .a4s
1 ."ow are ,you," drawled he. 'Ive just,
called in to get you to look at some bank
.lnotes I ave just taken in hexchange for
I1ny Bank Of liengIand notes. 20 p
Saying which, he threw down roll Of
lbiHs.ssnH ligv s6ssa 7isaf s3s& b8g Biz,
Now" thought !, "you'll get sold, old
fellow, sure!'
H And | proceeded to look them over I'M
It'll | came to a twenty dollar bill on the
Adams Bank of Boston, the title of which
The asked me TO explain to him! .b51sH
! "Whats an Adam?" said he. ,
i | told him that an Adam was eight
Ishillings; ard that the bill was for twenty
Adams @ge s5j 4B@YQf4sIA I'd sAra8
20, yes,' he replied, sjust like our Bank
Of Hengland notes SO many shillings make
la pound" sslf.. Iae4. 5e-
ssThat's so,' answered I, and then I burst
j out into a laugh. sa8 @
"What are you laughing atg' said he.
"Why, what laundering fool you areW
|said I, s'to take such lot of trash 90 this!
Here is the Bulls Head Bank, the Market
Bank, the Butchers Bank, the Drovers'
Bank, the Shoe and Leather Bank, the
Hatters' Bank, and the devil knows what
you haven't got!" $50, 5aa s-ssM
/ He asked for an explanation, which /
gave him. I told him that one bill would
only purchase Bulls Heads, another,
Cattls; another Boots, Shoes and Leath-
Ter; and another, Hats; and taking down
a Dictionary, I offered to swear that be
was done brown. He played John Bull
little while, and swore he'd have Wall
street bornbarded by British fleet; Butt
mentioned something about Fort Haniil-
ton and Governors Island, when he deci-
/ ded to capitulate. | told him that seeing
lit was him, / would help him out Of the
scrape; that I had great many friends
who could use the bills, and, in fact, con-
descended to let him have a little stock
that he could keep in exchange. / swap
ped even, giving him one hundred dollars
on the Government Stock Bank Of Michi-
gan for one hundred dollars Of his bad mon
ey. He thanked me kindly for my troub-
lie, and departed.
As the door closed, somebody gave q
whistle; and looking around, there stood
our book keeper, with his mouth stretched
from "clew to earing.''
a"Why,' said he, sthefe is such an inter'
nal discount on that money-you don't ex-
pect he'll keep it, do you!"
4 'sDiscount!" l replied; "what in thun-
der 10 you suppose he knows about dis
(counta' ~ 5lsh 81
j SIGNED THE WRoNa CoNsrIrUTroN.-S
4 Last Saturday evening carpenter, having
i been elected member Of the "Crystal
4 Fount," s. T., went up for the purpose Of
sioninr the constitutions nUnacauainted