Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1857-04-25
SQUIRE LoNGBow,s MARRIAGE.

SQCIhE LONGBOW'S MARRIAGE.
Squire LOngbow sincerely mourned the lost
nf his wife-internally and externally. Ex-
ternally he was one of of the strongest mourn
CTS l ever saw. He wore a weed floating from
his hat nearly foot long. 1t was the longest
weed that had ever been mounted at Puddle
ford; but our readers must know that Squire
LOngbow was magistrate, and leading man
IN the community. And while the reader Is
about it. he may also know that the Squire Is
not the only man. east or west, who has ven
tured upon little ostentation over the grave OF
the departed-nor woman either.
Who was to be the next Mrs. Longbow2
That was the question. The public, indeed,
asked it long before the Squire: Who was to
have the honor Of presiding at the Squire's ia
bic! What woman was To be placed at the
head of society in Puddleford! The Swipoces
ani BeagIes, Aunt Sonora, Aunt Graves, and
sister Abigail, and scores Of others all began to
speculate upon this important subject,-even
Turtle and Bates INDUCED in few general
remarks.
Aunt Sonora gave it as her mind that the
Squire " ought to be pretty skeery how he
married anybody, case if he got one of them
Aibberfegibber sort o wimmen, she'd turn
the whole house inside out, and he'd be one of
the most miserable Of all men" She said " if
he knowed what was good for himself he'd
Jest keep clear of all the young girls that were
fIsing and fdgeting round him, and 90 right in
for some old stand by of woman that knowed-
how to take the brunt of things-but lors
me-" continued Aunt Sonora, they're all
like my uncle JO, who married in hurry and
rePented afterwards-and the poor dear old
soul ar'n't had minutes peace since.'
The SwipeSes and Beagles, who belonged to
clique that had, in times past, warred against
l,9ngOow Co., = thought it would be shame
full for the Squire to marry at all-it would be
an insult agin the memory of poor old Mrs.
Longbow who was dead and gone" (Some
IL. l.
but defend the dead) "And if the Squire
should marry, they should think, for their
part. that She rise up out of her grave and
haunt him, She could never sleep easy if she
knowed that the Squire had got some other
woman who was eating her preserves and
wearing out clothes, and lording il over the
house like all possess d. "
Other opinions were expressed by other per-
sons-in fact, the Squire's widowerhOod was
the great concern of PuddlefOrd. - He was so
we'll on to do, as Aunt Sonora used to call it,
that he was considered great Z" catch
After a few weeks OF sorrow, the Squire him
self really began to entertain notions of matr-
mony. 1t is true that he had passed the age
of sixty, and it required great Effort to get up
n sufficient amount OF romance to carry out
such an enterprise. The symptoms began,
however, to wax strong. The first alarming
indication was his attendance at church. The
Squire had always been a kind of heathen: in
this respect he had for many years set poor
example; but the people who want to marry
will go to church. Whether this is done to
get up reputation, or simply to take a survey
of the unspprOpriated female stock yet remain
ing on hand, cannot say.
The Squire was - fixed up amazingly the
first time saw him in church His hair had
been cut, and thoroughly creased. His shirt
collar covered his ears; and his boots shOne
like n mirror Aunt Sonora said he looked
enymOst as good as new" Aunt Graves was
in the choir that day, and she sung as she never
sang before. She blOwed all the heavy strains
of musie-strains that lifted her on her toes
directly into Squire LOngbow's face. Whether
Aunt Graves had any design in this is more
than / can say; but / noticed some twinges
about the Squire lips, and sleepy wink of
the eye. that looked q little like magnetism.
1t was ridiculous, too: that such an old castle
should be stormed by music.
But the Squire exhibited other symptoms of
matrimOny. He grew more pompous in his
decisions, disposed of cases more summarily,
and quoted more law latin more frequently.
IL was about this time that he talked about
the = nOx yomica" instead of Ucc pOpWki. He
used to - squash" proceedings before the case
was half presented, and, In the language of
Turtle, he tore arouud at a great rate -
Turtle said that the old Squire " was getting to
DC an old fool, and he was goin' to have him
married or dismissed from Office-there warn't
~ livin' with him"
There were great many anxious mothers
about Puddleford, who were very desirous of
forming an alliance with the Longbow family
Even Mrs. Swipes, as much she openly op-
posed the Squire marriage in general, secret
lv hoped spark might be struck between him
and her daughter Mary Jane Arabella Swipes;
and Mrs. SWipes was in the habit of sending her
daughter over to the Squire's house, to inquire
nf him :" to know If she couldn't do sumthin' for
hIm In his melancholy condition" and Sister
Abigail went down several times ito put things
to rights and was as kind, Obliging, and at
tentlye to all the Squire wants as ever Mrs
LongbOw was in her palmiest days On these
OCCASIONS Sister Abigail used frequently to re-
mind the Squire Of his great bereavement, and
what an angel of a wife he had lost; and that
things didn't look as they used to, when she was
around, and she didn't wonder he took ON so
Waen the poor thing died.
But. reader, Ike Turtle had ordered things
otherwise. He was determined 10 strike up a
match between the Squire and Aunt Graves,
- Ike made a special visit 10 Aunt Graves one
evening, for the purpose Of surveying and
sounding along the coast, to see how the waters
lald; and how the old soul would take it." TO
use his own language.
have already given an outline of Aunt
6rayes, but will now say farther that She
never mad oner OF matrimony in her life. She >.
S, ~as S.At Ia Is termed touchy old maid. She pro-
leSsed 10 hate men, and affected great distress
Of mind when thrown into their society. Amt
"raves was just ironing down the seams of a
coat that she had finished, when Ike called.
Ike opened the conversation by reminding
Aunt Graves that she - was livin' along kindc1
lonely like" '''A'i
:, Lonely 'nough, 1 s'pOse," she replied snap
pishly.
Don tyOq ever have the blues, and get sorter
obstrep' rOusl"
Aunt Graves didn't know as she did -
Why, in the name of old Babylon don't
YOU marry"
Marry, Ne marry-marry a man-a
great, awful man ;" and the iron few tbronob
the seams like lightning
Ies,' continued Ike, marry-marrv
mln-why, woman, You are getting as old and
yellow as autumn leaves. What have Won been
hVin Tor You We broken all the laws of Scrin-
ture inter peices-and keen ON b,eak;ni -, r.