Keowee courier. [volume] (Pickens Court House, S.C.) 1849-current, 1857-08-01

Il
FoURTH.-The immortal John Phoenix, in
his celebrated Grafton in Oregon, says
Every boy in the United States knows
tho origin of this glorious day Smalrsums
of money, varying from 123 cts. to $3.50,
according to the financial prosperity oftheir
parents, have been annually given them to,
expend on this occasion, which indelibly
impress the fact upon their memories, and
leads them to look forward with pleasureto to
its return. One of my earliest and most
cherished recollectionB is of one of my ex-
ploits on the 18th of July, that / can re-
member, when, with patriotic fervor, pur-
chased a leaden cannon, which, exploding
promaturely, burned off my hair aud eye
brows, and put an end to the existence of
favorite cat of my old aunt's, that peaceful
! ly reclined, watching my operations.
We elect our own rulers and make our
hown laws, and if they don't turn out well,
it is very easy at the next election to mako
others in their place Everybody has a
chance for distinction in this country
nothing is wanting but natural ability to
do it; and Mrs, Lavinia Pixies baby, now
lying with cotton flannel shirt on, in
champagne basket in Portland, O. r., has
just as good chance of being President of
the United States, rs the imperial infant of
France, now sucking his royal thumbs in
his silver cradle at Paris, has of being an
emperor.
J. do not wish to hatter this audience; |
do not intend to be thought peculiarly COM
| plimentary but L do assure you that there
is not man present who, if he had votes
enough, might not be elected President of
the United States. And this important
fact, the result not so much of any merit or
virtue on your part, as of the nature of our
glorious, liberal, republican institutions
In this great and desirable country, any
man may become rich, provided he will
learn, and has money to pay for his board
and schooling; and any man may become
great and of weight in the community, if
he will take good care of his health, and
eat sufficiently Of boiled salmon and pota-
toes.
Moreover, assert it unblushingly, any
man in this country may marry any woman
he pleascs-thc only difficulty being for
him to find any woman that he does please
A PAIR OF PROMISING PUpPIEs--A
hopeful youth, who was the owner of a
young bull terrier, was one day training the
animal in the art of being ferocious, and
wanting some animated object to set the dog
upon, his daddy, after considerable persua,
sion consented to get down upon all fours and
make fight with Mr.. Bull. Young Amcri-
ca began to urge on the dog" "sis-ter-boy
seize him." &C.; at last the dog "made a
Dip and got a good hold upon the old
mans proboscis, and get the dog off he
couldn't. So no began to cryout with the
pain caused by the fangs of the dog. "Grin
and bear it, old man p shouted the young
scapegracc "Grin and bear it-t,oM be
'he mahi"' efMe p,.o go-Bos'o" Post
A NEGRO woman was relating her expo
, ricnce to gaping congregation of color,
and among other things, she said she had
been in heaven. One of the ladies of color
asked her: "Sister, did you see any blacl;
folks up in hcavcn?" ooh, get out you
, S'pose | go in the kitchen when was dar?''
This reminds us of the anecdote of another
, colored man, who was so convinced of the
lowincss of his position, and that labor was
natural lot, that he even was indifferent
9 as to future state, believing that "dey'll
, make niggcr work chen of he go to IIcbcn y
Q "A clergyman tried to argue him out of this
OpiiiioHJ lSIlCoShtiHS 1OJ 10 DC .tuC
case, inasmuch as there was absolutely nc
!, work for him to do in Heaven. His an
: swcr was ooh, you s way, massa, L knows
y better. Ifderes no work for cullcd foxes
: up dar, dey'll make 'em shub de clouds
along. You can't fool this chile"
A SAFE NAN TO INsvRn.---By a steam.
/ boat explosion on Western river, a passen.
oGr WIS thrown unhurt into tho u,ator onf
at once struck out Justify for the shore
blowing like n porpoise all the while. H,
/ reached the bank almost exhaustnl, ant
o was caught bya by-standcr and drawn on
e painting DWELL, old fellow" said hi
; friend, chad hard time, eh 2" aye
i yes, pre-pretty hard, considerin'. WASH
t doin' it for myself, though; was workin
! for one o. them insurance offices in New
II York. Got policy on my life, and ]
a wanted to save them. l didn't care"
a AN old lady in Pennsylvania had a grea
Z. aversion to rye, and never could eat IL il
It any farm. "Till of late" said She, Hthe,
G had got to making it into whiskey, and
: find can, nowland then, worry down lit
/ tle"
4 "WEIH docto.," said chap, sufferin,
!, with the toothache, q how much do vol
j charge for the job? Guyl but you did /
a quick, thoughp "My 'terms,5 reptile,
the dentist, care one dollar" " A dolla
for half minutes work | One dollar