The Perrysburg journal. [volume] (Perrysburg, Ohio) 1853-1861, 1857-08-27
From the Philadelphia Gazette.
SHAMS.

btehu Oh STRIVING 10 ODlaln the UeSt we are
content with the nearest cheap imitation of it
We have abandoned realities and are grasp
ing at their shadows. We say, what is the
pse of paying great price for sterling ar
ticle, when we can get something that looks
just like it for little one So we take the
sham and reject the genuine, and then pat
ourselves on the back for our shrewdness and
economy. We have got the glitter who
cares for the gold ? The old proverb is mus
" and behind the age. We have run SO far
ahead Of its fogyism in our fast way of doing
things, as to have discovered that it is glitter
which makes the value of the medal, and not
the solidity and purity Of the world.
We build houses with fine brown stone
fronts made Of f-brck, and covered with paint
ed and ssnded plaster, marked off into sham
blocks we enter them through oaken or wal
nut doors made Of grained pine, and pass
through vestibules floore6 with marble mo-
sale made OF baked clay, and sit DOWN on
veneered sofas before scagliola marble Chin
ney-peces and mantles made of enameled
iron Over such mantles we place mirrors
in gilt frames, enrich, with elaborate cary
ing made of compositions pressed in mouds
and stuck on with glue. In one recess we
hang hundred dollar water color drawings,
that is to say, printed limitations which cost
fve-and in another, handsome book cases
covered with mohogony faces and pine bod
les, filing the lower shelves with books, and
the upper With richly bound blocks of wood,
of assorted sizes.
Our daughters wear expensive po'ntlace
adornments, 1--WE know not their names nor
do we know much about point lace except
that it is some sort of net work Of fabulous
cost, J and made of some more econonicdl
material, and washed in some way which is
a profound secret, so as to give them the yell
lowish tint supposed to mark he genuine ar.
tcle. They wear Canton Grape shawls which
John Chinaman never saw, and Cashmere
shawls manufactured at Paisley. and india
silks that never passed the Equator, and furs
that would astonish he animals whose names
they bear, # they could see them. When
they the daughters, that is, when they are
married, we give grand weddings, dispa, ing
tables 6ll,d with extravsg ,ntly expensive bri-
dal gifts; sets of gold and silver ,p ,nns, forks,
fruit knives, tea services, necklace, brace lets,
&c touching tribut Of affection from dear
friends who are on our visiting list, and have
been invited TO the ceremony; and which, af
ter the parade is over, are carefully packed
mp and-returned to the jeweler from whom
we hired them. (This sham is going a little
out of fashion since some indiscreet persons
exposed it But they still want sham flow
ers in their bonnets-that is in the little straw
or velvet caps they use to cover their back
hair when in the strickland sham braids of
hair on their heads in front Of the aforesaid
bonnets.
We scan the performers at the opera
through lorgnettes, hired at twenty FIVE cents
a night, with deposite for their safe return,
as nonchslantly as if they belonged to u.s.
We ride about in carriages hired by the year,
coachman with velvet hatband big buckle,
and large capped coat inclu led all got up in
the most elaborate style. We build churches
with stone fronts AMI b'ick sides, decorated
on the outside with carved stone brackets
and cornices, made of painted wood or clay,
and on the inside with wall paper panels, and
painted recesses, and pilasters and mouldings,
half of whose shadows always fall the wrong
way by day light, and by gas light become
" confusion confounded," We stick all man
ner Of plaster gimcrackery over the walls and
ceiling. We paint deep alcove behind the
pulpit, and then neuralize the effact by put
ting sofa against the wall which is supposed
to be ten feet in his rear and maintaining all
the while his upright posi- ion. 1t conluses
our ideas of proportion and perspe Give views
dreadfully. We show the most laudable
alacrty in assisting al benevolent enter
prises. and get ourselves called to preside at
meetings held to organize them, with the
greatest enthusiasm. We rise with ovcIhywing
hearts to make few unprecedented remarks
got up BY rote the day before head sub
scriptions with liberal sums, which are not to
be called for in order to induce somebody
else to subscribe similar sum, which is to
be called for, and furnish the reporters of the
morning papers with a copy Of our speech,
together with the proceedings Of the meeting
and the names Of the officers.
We turn our eyes with edifying conscious
ness at the idea Of shaving ten per c-nt from
promissory note. and turn them down az in,
compacen!ly, and prick up our ears at the
offer of ground rent or mortgage at the
same discount 4; because, you sec, That is a
different thiny it is a-that is, you know
there is diiierence-when You take real es-
tate security, you-a-a-a-it is--s), you see
-a-a-a-to BE- sure not doubt of it moth.
ing could be clearer.
Then, we write elaborate art criticisms,
profusely illustrated 10y the aid of gossl-
ry) with learned technicaliues, such as breadh, |
tone, warmth, chiaro- o-scum, perspective, lights,
touch, foreground, middle distance, atmos-
pheric eff cts, interspersed with great deal
Of cant about handling, style, execution, com-
position, idealsm, lovely bits of distance. &c
Of the meaning of all which we have as &C
curate perception as school boys with i'm
perfectly developed mathematical organs.
have Of what the dreaded Pous Aoinorum is
all about, when they have got through saying
it " off the book"
We get up reputation as Heratuers, with
regard to books, upon the advice of Dean
Swift--to friend with regard TO the mem.
bers Of the E,glish peerag--'' learn their
names, and then brag Of their acquaintance"
and we drscant upon their m.rI.s. and di.-