The weekly Minnesotian. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. Territory) 1852-1858, 1857-10-17
miscellaneous Items.

"WIrNEss, you have have said that while
walking with an umbrella over your head,
you fell into the reservoir and was badly in
jured. Did you break any bones, at that
time?"
81 did, SIR"
"Wha bones
"Whaebones, SIR"
| A MONETARY ITEM.-A banker asked
young lady of this city what kind Of money
she liked best.
"Matr-money," she replied.
"What interest does it bring?" asked the
sharp banker.
elf properly invested it will double the ORR
ginal stock every two years." she replied.
lie concluded she was a match for him, but
the rest is secret
DIR. JOHNSON once dired with Scotch lady
who had had hotch for dinner. After the
doctor had tasted it she asked him if it was
good.
"lt Is good for hogs, ma'am," said the doc
tor.
"Thcn pray" said the lady, "let me help
you to some more"
AN editor down South, who served four
days on jury, says he's so full of law that it
is hard for him to keep from cheating some
body.
HE most recent case of absent mind is
that OF an editor, who lately copied from
hostile paper one of his own articles and hca
ded it, "A Wretched attempt at Wit"
Why is cat that hasn't caught rat for
six weeks like Noah's ark q?
Because it didn't light on airy rat (Ararat)
for nrfu ria a,,I ~:e-1k
"Wasn't that a waste of powder 2" said an
Irishman to a Kentuckian, who had Just
brought coon to the ground with his rifle
from a large tree. "Why so, PATTI" asked the
hunter. ''Sure, the fall would kilt him."
THE son of Henry S. Gum, of Mississippi,
ran off two weeks ago with his fathers sec
ond wife. The young "son of gun" has not
been heard of since.
"SoME men," wrote New England Puri-
tan, two hundred years ago, s'some men are
all church and no Christi This was strong
ly said, but without truth
AN eastern editor heads his list of Births,
Marriages and Deaths, thus Hatched Match-
ed and Despatched. The rascal's face deserves
to be scratcahed.
G. E. LAYTON, of Albany, is sending let
tiers through the country, proposing to sell
receipts, &C., which are perfect swindIes.
"Do you understand me now,'' Numbered
country pedagogue to an urchin at whose
head he threw an inkstand. 'I've got an
linking of what you mean," replied the boy.
A person looking at some skeletons the
other day, asked a young doctor prese Mt
where he got them. eve raised them" wa ;
the reply.
WHEN are writer's like cattle q? When
they are driven to the pen.
"THIs is is crate prospect" as the prison
er said in peepinS out of his cell window.
THERE is fellow in Illinois so dirty that
the Assessors have put him down as "real
estate"
A FRENCH writer is represented as calling
dyspepsia 'the remorse of guilty stomach"
WHY is mushroom like dandy? Be-
cause it is rapid in it's growth, sim in its
trunk, and thick in its head.
"HAvE you much fish in your bag 2H asked
person of a fisherman, who was returning
home. Yes, good eel," was the slippery
reply.
A BADLY dressed dinner is thus described
by Theodore Hook: Everything sour but
the vinegar"
If You wish to cure scolling wife, never
fail to laugh at her with all your might until
she gets through-then kiss her.
A FELLOW caught stealing, excused him
selfon ,he ground that he did the act in fit
of abstraction.