Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1857-05-07
An AuctiOneef in California.

- 'o'Ao"ibS icPott VI q ekCoCd uhu
n by California Auctioneer:
"Ladies and gentlemen, ! no.
e have the honor of putting up I'm
e pocket handkerchief. yard wide,
yard long, and almost yard thick
one halfcotton, and t'other balf cot
ton too, beautifully printed with star
and stripes on one side, and th,
. stripes and stars on the t'other; i
will wipe dust from the eyes SO coin
, pletely as to be death to demagogues
and make politics as bad a business
as printing papers; its great length,
breadth and thickness, together with
its dark color will enable il to hide
dirt, and never need washing; going
at one dollar2 seventy-ive cents?-
fifty cents? twent, five cen!s?-one
bit? Nobody wants it? Oh! thank
you. sir!
Next, gentlsmm, for the ladies
won be permitted to bid on this ar
ticle, it is a real simon pure, temper.
ed, highly polished, keen edged Shelf
field razor, bran spankin new; never
opened telore to sunlight, moonlight,
starlight, or gas-light; sharp enough
to shave IA lawy er, or cut disagree.
able acquaintance, or a poor relation;
handle Of backhorn; with all the riv.
cts bat two in the ends, of pure gold.
Who will give two dollsrs? one dol.
lar? half dollar2 Why, ye long
bearded dirty faced reprobates, with
not room enough on your phizes for
a Chinese woman to kiss, I'm off ring
You bargain at half dollar ra-
zor and strap-a recent patent; two
rubs upon it will sharpen the city
attorney, all for four bits and piece.
of soap sweeter than roses; aud
fathers better than school master;
and strong enough to wash out the
stains from a California politician
counteDance, all for four bits! why,
you have only to put this razor, str p
and soap under you p How at night,
to wake u? in the morning clean
shaved; won't anybody give two bits,
then, for the lot? ! knew | would sell
them.
"Next, ladies' and gentlemen, I of.
fer three pair socks, stockings or half
hose, just as you're a mind to call
them. Knit by a machine made on
purpose out of cotton wool; the man
that buys these will be enabled to
walk till he gets tired, and, provided |
his boolssare high enough, needn't
have any corns; the legs areas long
as bills against the corporation; and
as thick as the heads of the members
Of the legislature, who wants 'em at
one half 9 dollar? thank 'ee madam,
dollar.
Next, offer you pair Of boots,
made especially for San Francisco,
with heels long eeough to raise a.
man up to the Hoadley grades and
nails TO ensure against being carried
over by landslide, legs vide enough
to carry two revolvers and a bowie
knife, and the uppers Of the. very
best horse leather. A man in these
boots can move about as easy ne the
State Capitol, who says ten dollars:
4 II the tax payers ought TO have a
pair to kick the council with, every
body ought to have a pair to kick
the Legislature with-and they will
be found Of assistance in kicking the
bocket, especially if somebody should
kick at being kicked-ten dollars
for legs, uppers and soles! white souls
and miserable souls at that, are
bringing twenty thousand dollars in
Sacramento! ten dollars, ten dollars
gone at ten dollars
Next is something that you ought
to have, gentlemen; u Lotto good gal
Iowses sometimes called suspenders.
| expect some of you will after a
while be furnished at the States ex-
pense, but you can't tell which Of you;
buy where they are cheap, all that
deserve hanging are not supplied
with gallows, if so there would be
nobody to make laws, condemn
criminals, or hang culprits, until
election, made Of pure gum elastic
stretch like a judges conscience. and !
last as long us California Office hol-
der will steal, buckles Of pure iron;
and warranted to hold SO tight that
no mans wife cant rob him Of the
breeches; are in short as streng. x,
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- I. ...-s 5z 49,