The Council Bluffs nonpareil. [volume] (Council Bluffs [Iowa]) 1857-1867, 1857-06-06
70 MUCH ron HIM.

3 -
Mr.. II. B. TrRRILL has a ssChapter from
the History Of the Des Moine" in the last
Des Moines Citizen. We borrow from il
the following anecdote to the expense Of
Judge Williams: z... -..er - s.....
Judge WILLIAMS, afterwards Chief Justice
Of the Supreme Court of Iowa, possessed
valuable and extensive legal requirements,
which his long judicial career in this State
has abundantly proven. He was, withal,
an inyeterate joker, and never SO happy as
when he had an opportunity to give his
mirthful proclivities full exercise. Many
stories illustrating his ready wit and appe-
tite for fun, are related. The only person,
however, who ever beat him with the tongue,
was woman, Mary Hays. The feminine
Charon of the Des Monies rather checked
his loquacity, when one day, he attempted
to play of one of his jokes upon her. The
Judge was boarding on the east side of the
river--bridges existed only in the imagina-
ton Of the enterprising-and in attending
Court, he crossed to and fro in skifI Some
times one, sometimes another ferried him
over; but once there was no man at hand.
Hiss Hays, Young, and in all probability a
very good looking lady, was washing near
the river bank. s-s. E.. s..... :. ...
'tMary," said the Judge, Show am to
get across the river?''
"Why, in skiff: suppose, Mary quiet
ly replied. tea~Ja = az'a~ ~a
s'But there is no one to bring back the
boat, and am very poor rover. Now Ma
ry, really, don't you think you could take
pity on Il man in such troublesome pre-
dicament, leave your interesting work and
volunteer to row me over? I'll pay you in
any number of-kisses you ask, sweeter and
heartier ones than you ever received in you
life. -.a- t@ rs @'
"Certainly, Pll take you over; but as to
kisses, Mr.. Judge, don't want any thing
of the sort, particularly from such an old
scrub as YOU"
so, l suppose you have had rather a
surfeit of that article lately. Has Jim
Snow Judge, if you want to 60 across,
just get in and sit still, and be stiHn'
Judge Williams waited until they got
fairly out in the current of the river. Mary
piled the oars as if she had seen sea-seryice.
"Mary." .-....s.. e-aE &. ..-...
ssSir.o
.'Suppose just turn this boat down
stream, carry you off and marry you: would
it not be delightful plan. You would just
suit ME, and SO lwould you. Certainly des-
tiny always intended us for mates, and
suppose little scheming would be excusa-
BILE to gain such lovely prize as you. Here
we go now, down the river to New Orleans
or elsewhere ..s .-.-....z. ..... IS
At this Mary's provoked spirit fairly gilt
tered in her eyes. With intensity Of empha-
sis, she exclaimed -.
.'You carry NE off! You marry me!
would not haze such an old dried-up crack
lin" wouldn't marry you if you were the
last man on earth, and woman couldn't get
to heaven without husband; and if you
don't stop your nonsense and behave your
self, I'll pitch you head first into the river,
and you may make as long a voyage as you
please, but one thing certain, you don't take
me with you!"
The Judge, of course, stopped teasing her
at this, laughing heartily at her Amazonian
threats and rumor does not say whether he
paid his fare in exchange in Cupid's bank
or not. .--.,-..-- "