Western Reserve chronicle. [volume] (Warren, Ohio) 1855-1921, 1857-11-18
Choice m mistelIanp,
From the November No. of the KnickerbOcke-.
A FEW PAGES FROM REAL LIFE.

When | look back on nv own past
life, through long vista of years, l see
roses at times not unmingled with thorns,
hours of sorrow and sadness with those
of gladness and Joy. 1t seemed to me
that my youth was one continual strug-
gle, for had few friends or advisers to
aid me in the battle OF life, or TO point
out the road that leads to success. Ear
ly left to my own thoughts and actions,
/ learned eaI!y 10 think and act inde
pendently. II seems to me that l have
known but little of youth, or even of
childhood; for as long as can well re-
member, had that same plodding, cas-
tle-building disposition, at the same
time laboring under an extreme sensitive
ness, which at times. especially in early
life, has been the cause of much un-
happiness. Through what | then
thought good management, at the
age of twenty l found myself
established in a commercial business
in what was then, and is now, one of our
largest Western cities. Though lacking
confidence in almost every thing else, |
bad even too much in my business affairs;
for at every opportunity continued to
enlarge my business. For The first two
years every thing went on smoothly as
one could wish; bills were always met at
maturity, and my credit and reputation
as business man were among the best;
and was looked upon as strictly hon
orable man. and how 1 priced that
name which, TO business man, is or,
should be, almost as dear as life itself!
Yes, I was proud of the position occu
pied, and could look back upon those
who had started in life far in advance of
me, those whom l thought, only few
years before had looked upon my hum
bic sphere and talents with derision,
Ian erroneous conclusion whom in my
jealous acger l had resolved to circum
vent, plodding slowly far behind me-
But the sun of prosperity could not al
ways shine upon one as inexperienced as
myself; the blow came at last.
A storm arose in the commercial hori
zon, one of those sudden reverses that
seem bound to happen at certain inter
walls. l was not prepared for it; for
every inch of canvass was spread to its
fullest extent, and, what was worse, a
pilot almost utterly inexperienced stood
at the helm, where, at such a time, il
needs an old hand and clear head to
steer clear of the breakers that appear
on every side; yet l struggled strongly
and bravely long after all reasonable
hope was past. How in the agony oi
the moment grasped at straws! ]
could not give it up. pictured to my
self the jeers of those whom l thought
my rivals, of the entire loss of confidence
on the part of those who bad confded in
my honor and honesty. No. l could
never meet them face to face without a
blush of shame burning on my cheek,
and never again be man among men.
even forgot her on whom all my plans
for future life had centered, she who had
been 50 closely interviewer in my day
dreams that she had almost seemed part
of my own identity: for she could never
share the poverty, or be the associa'e of,
. ruined and heart-sick man.
AS the state of affairs was approach
ing the climax, false step on the part
OF my head-clerk placed them beyond
the hope of redemption. Even now,
though many long years have passed
since then, / look back with shudder on
the horrors of that awful night the dawn