The western Democrat. [volume] (Charlotte, N.C.) 1852-1870, 1857-05-19
MY coUs1N BOB.

Let me tell you what Trick was played
off upon him. 1t was a serious affair, and
came very near making an old bachelor OF
him for life. 1t did not, however. for he
has since gotten over it, and is now mar
ried, and doing well.
To come to what propose telling, must
say that Bob took great notion to Martha
Fortified, who lived with her dad and nam
Just over the swamp. In fact, as some
people say. he was bead-over heels in love
with her and, as the case with all lovers,
was in peck of troubls lest some other
Teller should slip in and ''cut him out. y
To prevent this he thought he'd better be
stirring his stumps. so he resol, ed to 60
over on the very next Saturday evening,
and to not come away until he had popped
the question and asked the old folks.
Saturday evening came, and my cousin
Bob went. On his way he had to pass
through the little village of Bellsville SO
thinks to himself, This poppin' the ques-
ton and akin the old folks amt the thing
it's cracked up to be; so likely, I'd better
buy somethin' good to take 'em, to put EN-
all in fine humor." He thought ofeVery-
thing he had ever heard of, but could settle
upon nothing. Gingerbread for the whole
company would be too expensive candy
ditto. At last happy thought like an
electric spark, popped into his cranium.-
Gloves; that was the very thing Five
cents would get more than Martha could
eat YES, more than the family could eat
put together, in case she saw tit to pass
them around. Cloves were the very thing
and cloves he resolved to get. just as he
was about entering the store to make
his purchase, another trouble rose up-he
had forgdten the name by which the desira-
BILE article was known. However, he was
not a man to be turned aside by trities, so
he resolved to get them, or at least make a
trial of i. any way. With the air of man
of business, he enters the little store, and
calls out:
MIR. Storekeeper, want five cents
worth of these little things they eat-nice'
to make feler's breath smell good-nice,
to give the galS-oh, confound the things
got heads on 'em like saddler's tacks."
Gloves, perhaps" suggested the mer-
chant.
That's it. ole boss ~ said Bob. ''Cloves
that's tie thing. Give me five cents
worth of doves"
(Which way are you steering to night
Bob 7" asked the merchant, as he went
fumblng about for the article demanded.
Down acrost the swamp" replied my
cousin land when you see me again you
may say, there goes Bob; somethin' been
happenin' to him, shore and certain"
The merchant laughed, for he knew how
Bob was s'taken" with Miss Martha.
When the cloves had been tied up. Bot
fobbed them, and with light heart. soon
made his way across the swamp. He founc
Martha and her dad and mann 'just about
as USUAL They all talked of the weather
the wind, the crops, &c, until the subject
| was exhausted of its interest, and then they
sat in silence for some time looking into the
fire. "Now," thought Bob sis the bes
| time to pitch in my Cloves" so he hitchet
UP to Martha and said:
1--WE got somethin' in my coat pocket
s'Ah ~ said she, what is it -
"Somethin' good to eat-somethin' fol
you, Martha ~
..Have you, indeed well, let's have it
then"
''Oh, no, you take it out yourself. If i
amt worth comm after, it amt wortl
havin as daddy says
| Martha was not bashful girl, so she raj
her hand into his pocket, and brought on
the little parcel.
Now open it for me Bob" said she
handing it to him.
| With much assurance he took it, and afte
telling her to fix her mouth, and passing
several eulogies on the goodness of its con
tents, he tore off the end of the paper an
poured into her lap, not cloves, but larg
handful of great, ugly, real genuine sad
| dler's tacks.
| Martha screamed and threw them all owe
the floor the old man and old woman CAV
vent to their feelings in an awful fit Q
laughter; and poor Bob, with face as re-
as piece of flannel. dashed out at the door
and went .'stumplng It" up the lane. ours
ing the storekeeper at every breath.
How he and the merchant settled matter
at their next meeting, l may tell at anothe
time.
A CAUTION To WINE AND BRAND
DRINKERs.--Dr. Hiram Cox, chemics
inspector of alcoholic liquors in Cincinnati
Ohio, states, in an address to his fello,
citizens, that during two years he has mad
two hundred and forty-nine inspections {
various kinds of liquors, and las foun
more than nine-tenths of them poisonou
connections. Of brandy he does not belev
there is one gallon Of pure in hundre
gallons, the limitations having corn whiske
for basis, and various poisonous acids fc
the continents Of wines not a GALLON !