Delaware weekly Republican. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1841-188?, 1857-08-20
HUMOROUS.


The fire that went OUT has not vet re
turned.
A French writer is represented as calling
dyspepsia 'the remorse of guilty stomach
1t is said that no fort ever suffered so much
from single battle, as has the piano-forte
from the Battle of Prague.
Punch says "a secret, warranted to keep in
any climate, is wOman's age.' Horrid Punch!
'The eyes of your beloved, after she has
been crying Punch calls ornamental fret
work.
The ancient Greeks buried their dead in jars.
iierce the origin of the expression-'He's
gone to pot.'
A down east editor advises readers, if they
wish to get teeth inserted gratis, to go and
steal fruit where his watch-dogis on guard.
An Illinois paper says that there is man
IN olney so dirty that the assessor put him
down as real estate.'
Shakespeare says, sFrailty, thy name is wo-
man. A French translation has it, sMadam-
oiselle Frailty is the name of the lady
Dobbs says that people who endorse notes,
| are called 'sureties, Tor this reason, that in
nine cases out of ten they are ssure,' to be
called upon for the money.
One of Walkers men, who had a Costa
Rican bayonet at his brest, refused to ask for
mercy because Americans can't take Spanish
4 f''u''t4S hOhs
A company OF ladies', the other day, dis
cussed the following question what is the
great dnty Of man 2 One Of them contended,
with success, that it was to pay dry-goods
bills
Visitors at Niagara Falls will remember a
staircase on the west side Of Goat Island called
'Biddle Staircase Some one aske why II was
called that name. because it lcound up the
6dnf, was the answer.
4 am afraid 1 shall come to want said an
old lady to young gentleman. 81 have come
to want already was the reply, Il want your
daughter The old lady opened her eyes.
An old fellow being visited by his pastor, he
assured him that he could not be good chris
tlan unless he took up his daily cross whereat
wife and began Juggling her about the room
s'Jack,'' said man to a lad inst entering his
teens, &c your fathers drowned" &c Darn it,'
replied the young hopeful, sand he's got my
knife in his pocket"
The woman who made pound of butter out
of the cream of a joke, and q cheese from the
milk of human kindness, has since washed the
close of year, and hung 'em to dry on bee
line.
A gentleman, who has very strong desire
to be a funny man. sat down upon a hooped
skirt, the other day. With a desperation
equal to any emergency, he whistled, 'I'm sit
ting on the style, Mary
Do you sell pies?' asked a green looking
lellow, as ne l0unged into coniectloners IN
Wenngton street, Montreal 'Ples, SIR q re-
pieu the gehtlemaniy proprietor. 'les, sir,
all sorts, sur what KIND OF pie viii you.have,
sir q Well, ] think I'll take magpie.'
A transcendental minister took for his text
creed my lambs PLAIN farmer quantity re-
marked to him, on coming out Of church, "a
very good text, sir, but you should take care
mol 70 put nav SO hlgh IN ihe rack that iamDs
can u reach IT.
few Sundays aeo n divine nrsached n fin.
rious nolitical sern,on nj Iemster N. II when
t;ndina Ms audinnca grodnallv deserting The
church, he thanked God, in fervant manner,
that among other things granted him, he pos
sessed the power OF scasting out deyils.'
,,,, ,;,,o ,na ~ +,,a obnroI,.s -, Soian,
ha5 a ,,;sI,ot,ssinT hrothar M, for discinIine
a,i ,,,s oI,,,. "a sSs,nonnn;coto him ,.hnrann
nt M t,, m'S ',",.rlss ,SI hnid ,naat;Dr antSSa
and 'H voteS NOT 10 receive him unless Re should
be returned IN as good eondltion as Wheh de-
hVered 10 the church'
A romantic father whose name was Rose,
called his daughter sWiId,' so that she grew up
under the apeIatiou of wild Rose.' But in
a few years the girl fell in love with and mar
ried man named Bull, which sadly interfered
with the romance of the lady's name--'Wild
nu'l''
Mr.. Albert Smith was the target for one of
| Jerrold's keenest and wittiest shafts, The
hero of Mont Blanc was once. in Jerrold's
COMPANY. not over modestly insinuating a re-
sembIance between his own writings and those
of Goldsmith. "a great deal Of the Smith,
Int very little Of the Gold was Jerrold's pitby
and sarcastic comment
was let out Of the bag.-A coffin for the dead
of nght.-Thc rope with which Jacob lifted
up his voice.-A few stitches taken by tailor
in coat of paint.-A little perfume from the
flower of the army.-A few soaked logs from
the drift of discourse.-A leaf from the tree
OF knowledge.
sPlease sir, said n becrar IN Scrocos +ha
other dav sronldn,t Won rive mo a GttIs son,a
thine3 I'm bricklaver. hnf had a had fal when
M work Mt my business, and have ta i've on
charity. air, Nonsense anSwered S,oces
Il had moi onIv n had fail al mn, bnaiuass bn,
No. i+ e.; ,,a -, - ~ iny ous'iess, Due
tbinI rn,, o,Sbf 70 1,;,,a ~, u,
'i-''N ; y" '"s''' ~ s''' uie soiue'ilnst
Il saw. old bow, cried Panl Prv IN nm axco-
yator in North Shields. whom he esnied M the
bottom of n yawnInp 1nlf swbat arc yor, dig-
rim there2, "a big hole the old how renlied
What are Won going to do with tbe boIe2,
Going to put it into small holes.' renlied the
Did boy. sand retail them to farmers for gate
posts. Paul was sold
a hefcnaht % OF new orr, VINO was on the
verge OF bankruptcy, took u walk, one day,
WIN ms CASHIER, VINO hau grown rich, ana
~ 's I,s.II; lU S 80 nis .s;,,
poyvi n's iSi''.A' "otliis 2 eu "sAeu, .tr