Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1857-10-10

DILAToRY MAN.-W hen the worthy
Bailie s., of B., died, leaving his wi.
dow comfortably provided for, Deacon NJ
paid great attention TO the bereaved LADY,
ordered the coffin. directed the funeral ar
rangements, and finally kept close beside her
as they accompanied tue remains to the tomb
Just as the procession halted. be hinted to
her. in one of the intervals of their mutual
confidence that at a proper time be should
he happy to ill the arm. chair that the Bailie
had so long enjoyed The deacon was in
season, for scarcely had the relatives and
friends retired to the house before the minis
ter made her the same proposition. You
are too latew replied the bashful widow
1.-The deacon spoke to me at the grave"
MRs. PARrINGToY on BANKs.-"Are Won
afraid of banks failing ?" asked the cashier, as
Mrs. Partington went to draw her pension.
Banks failing" said the dame, Il never had
any idea about it at all. If he gets votes
enough | don't see how he can fail, and if hs
don't can't see how he is to help it," II
meant" said be, 1.-The banks that furnish cur
rency for the country" She stood moment
counting her bills. "Oh, you did, did you ?"
said she well, it's about the same thing,
If they have money enough to redeem with,
and heaven knows there's need enough Of
redemption for good many of them, and
more grace than they allow their customers,
they may stand il, but doubtful things are
uncertain" She passed of like on exhala-
tion, and the cashier counted ont one hundred
and fifteen dollars and seventeen cents fifteen
times while pondering what she said, in order
to catch her neutrality-suspicious. Gd.etc.
A somewhat eccentric yet celebrated Judge
some years ago WAS asked by a counsellor
to put down a certain case for the last Friday
in the month of March which happened to be
Good Friday His honor Indignantly replied
mo, sir; won't set any rause down for
that day. There never was but one Judge
who tried cause on that day--that was Pom
thus Plate, sir"
A Yankee lady pictures good man as
, zone who is keerful of his clothes, don't drink
speris, kin read the bib 'thout spellin' the
words and kin cat a cold dinner on washday
TO save the wmmin folks from cooking"
"Pomper," said good natured gentleman
| to his coIored man, 81 did not know till TO-
/ day you had been whipped last week.
! Didn't you, massa? ?' replied Pompey, Il
know'd ii at the time"
! Nor so BAD--The Georgia papers tell tbe
! following with characteristic unction:-A
| lady, formerly resident in Georgia, yerv
much discontented with Mississippi life, and
/ longing to return TO her native land was shout
/ ing at camp-meeting last year and became so
exceedingly happy that she exclaimed,
"Glory 10 God, ] feel Ike / lras in Gsor-
gy"
"Pray, Miss c." said gentleman the other
evening, "why are the ladies so fond of Off.
GERS ?" "How stupid" replied Miss; sis it
not perfect proper and natural that young
lady should like good offer sir?"
A certain eoekneg bluebeard overcome bv
sensi5il,ies. tainted at the grave of his fourth
spouse. what can we do with him ?" asked
psrpIrxcd friend of his. Let aim alone"
said a waggish bystander; he'll soon re-
wiye."
You are very stupid, Thomas" said
country teacher TO a little boy eight years
old. You are like a donkey, aud what do,
they do TO cure him of ais stapidiiy?" "Why..
they feed him more and kick him less" said
the urchin.
Woman IS hike lvy-the more you are ru-
ined the closer she clings to you.-A vile old
bachelor adds Ivy is like woman-the closer
1t clings TO you the more you are ruined.
Poor rule that don't work both ways.
This We presume was the same bachelor
who being asked il he ever witnessed a public
execution, replied, No; but | enee saw :.
marriage