The Cadiz Democratic sentinel. [volume] (Cadiz, Ohio) 1854-1864, 1857-06-11

COW and the dog and the turnips while we was
/ agoing, and by the time we had drove up to the
court room, Jones had made up his mind that
( he'd beat Smith srsartin.
I went into the great square room leetle
frustrated, I'll own; but there was the slightest
of folks there, blue eyes, gray eyes, green eyes,
/ black eyes, all fixed on Jones and | as we mar
ched upin front of the Judge.
"Good mornin, Squire" sez l, bowin to lit
tie, old dried up nosed fsllow with q silver wig
on. q hope yorr honorable health is good.'
"Keep quiet, Mrs. Tripe,' sez ;nabor Jones,
nudging my elbow, ''it amt proper to speak to
his honor 'thout he asks questions"
/ They took me to little platform built upon
one side of the room, and said might sit down
/ if was mind tc--so down set. My good
nessl what funny actions they did have! Talk
ing all sorts Of langwdges that nobody on airth
could understand, all mixed up with cons!itu-
tions, revised statutes civil laws, and nobody
knows what; declare | actually thought one
spell, that had been kerried clean back ages
and ages, to the time when folks talked Hebrew
and whispered in Paddy.
Byme by, artur had began to feel hungry
and want my dinner, tall, seraggy man, with
green specs on his nose, riz up and seq he:
"Mrs. Hannah Trpe, stand up in your seat"
'Lord." sez l, "you don't want me to climb
up in a cheer afore all these folks do you2'
awe want none Of your low icsts here" sez
he, cooring up till he looked like a red flannel
night gown; "rise up and staud"
20, yes" sez I, I'D as leave git up as not
for my back begins to ache, I've sit 50 long
So l Ih.sted UP, end looked yocnd on the ordi-
ance.
"Rise your right hand" sez the tall man SOL
emnly.
"If you've no objections, sez I, I'd rather
hist up my left one; my right glove has starn
big hole right on the palm of it,"
Every body sot up great laugh at this, and
the tall man turned into red night gown agn
"Order, order gentlemen sez pert little
fellow wiiha buckle on his hat and big bile On
the end of his red nose. You will be commit
ted for contempt, scz he, Speaking low tome.
Thank you sir for telin me-" sez /, "but
your little lqistook, haint got the contempt
nor never had it, thatI know OF, but I've had
the induenzy bad cnuf SO bad"
"Mr Attorney, examine that woman with
despatch--the court waits" sez the judge, tryin
hard IN knnn n N I,is lnnm (ncn
"Rise your right hand and swear--"
'4 never swear--its wicked, sez l. giving him
q look Of dagust. 'I, momberof the church,
swear The good Lord orbid"
'Neyer mind, my good woman sez the judge
''say yes to what the gentleman will read you
from the book-.it will he sufficient, amply So"
The tall man then took up the big book and
read out loud over so long lot Of gibbe.ish
member now but it was to the fact that shoe
tell everything knowed and nothin more and
swear it was true.
Dear sake" sez T. ''if I've got to tell every
thing know, itll take me month or two, and
Ishoud like to have some dinner afore begin"
"You are not to tell ANYTHING except the cir
cumstances connected with the turnip field OF
my chent," sez the tall man, pulling away at
his whiskers.
II don't know anything about your Client"
sez |; Il never seed it, to the best of my knowl-
edge; it was Smiths cow that got in the turnip
patch"
"Did you see the DEFENDANTS COW make for
cible entrance into the plaintiffs enclosed fed?"
ez he locking as grand as king of Indepen-
dent Tartary.
Il seed John Smiths cow jump into Sam
Jones turnip yard, if that's what you want to
git at" seq I.
"The same thing marn, the same thing, only
in different language. Where were you stand
ing at the time of the occurrence"
"IA the yard on my feet"
"What color was the animal that you saw
vault over the fence? Could you identify her
from all others Of the species"
"She was brndle--a thread Of red hair and
one of black" SEE I.
Describe her more filly," sezhe
"She has a head two horns, two eyes, one
mouth, four legs and tail, sell.
"Dd you see her with your own eyes devour
two lurnips in the plaintiffs iield?''
"With my own eyes? TO be sure! Whose
eyes did you think borrowed"
"Could you swear it was turnips that you saw
her masticating%
Il aint gtne to swear anything about it
She was eatin somethn white, bnt it might have
been white rocks, for anything that ] know
"Mrs. Trife, how old are you?"
"None Of your business" sez gottin out and
ont mad. q am old enough for you any way,
aud you Look as if you were manufactured IN
the year one, and edicated in the ark"
The lawyer scratched his nose, and looked
like red flannel again, for all the folks in tie
room laffed enough to split Themselves.
$50 on with the examination, ;, sez the judge
"Do you know my client personality" sez the
'awyer pinting at Mr. Jones with Lis long ra-
kish finger
"E should think I ought to-" seq 7, iafTen--
''He courtcd my cousin Tidy Brown, more than
two years, and got the mitten in the end"
There was greatlaff agin and callen out for
order, and that only made them laff the louder
Jest at this minute up jumped little hurnbly,
cd faced man, that bod been talking with John
Smith ever so long in a whisper, and stic1en his
thumbs into the arm holes of hisYest, seq he
n A 4 H.. ~. r