The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1857-06-23

and virtuous impulses, hath something more
valuable in her bosom than wad OF raw eQt-
ton. So mote it be!
A New Way to Detect Thief.
The father Of Mr.. Webster the, great
American statesman, was very humorous
and jocose parsonage.
AS he was once journeying in Massachusetts,,
not far from his native town, he stopped late
one night at an inn in the village Of.
In the bar.room where about twenty persons,
who called out to him to discover a thief
One of the company, it appeared, had a
watch taken from his pocket few minutes
before, and he know the offender must be in
tho room with them.
"Fasten all the doors Of the roou,-let no
one leave it," said Mr.. Webster, sand here,
landlord, go and bring your wife's great brass
kettle"
Boniface did as commanded. The great
brass kettle was placed in the middle Of tho
floor bottom up-as black, and sooty as the
chimney back.
"You don't want hot water nor nothing to
take off the bristlel Of no critter, do you,
squire ?" said the landlord, the preparations
looking so much like hog killing.
$50 to your barn and bring me the biggest
cockril you have got"
Rccn;s:s.ce went to the barn, and soon return
ed with tremendous great rooster, cacklng
all the way lake mad.
The old rooster was thrown under the in
vertcd kettle, and the lamp blown out
"Now, gentleman, don't suppose the thief
is in here hut if he is, the rooster will crow
when the offender touches the bottom Of the
kettle with his hands. Walk around in a
circle, and the cock will make known the
watch stealer. Tho innocent need not be
afraid you know"
The company, then, to humor hirn and car
ry out the joke, walked round the kettle in
the dark for few minutes.
Gall done, gentleman?
"All donc," was the cry-"where's your
crowing-we heard no cock-a-doodle-doo"
~Drfng us light
A light was brought ms ordered
"Now hold up your hands, good folks"
One held up his hand after anothcr--they
were Of course black, from coming in contact
with tho SCOT Of tho kettle.
"All up?"
"All up" was the responco.
"All black?'
"A-ll-don't know; here's ono fellow
who hasn't held up his hands"
"Ah ha, my old boy Let's take peep
at your paws"
They were examined, and were not black
like those Of the rest of the company.
"You'lI find your watch conceled about
him; search him.
And so it proved. This fellow, not being
aware any more than tho rest Of the trap
that was for the discovery Of the thief, and
kept aloof from the kettle, lest, when Inc tuch-
cd it, the growing Of the rooster should pro-
claim him as a thief.
AS the hands of all the others were black.
cned the whiteness Of his own, Of course
showed that he dared not touch the old brass
| kettle, and that he was the thief.
He was lodged in proper custody prorara
tory to being to being sent to Jail.
USE OF ApvERsrry.-Yoa wear out you
old clothes.
You are not troubled with many visitors
You arc ehxoneratcd from the making o
oalls.
Bores 10 not bore you.
Spongors do not haunt your table.
Itinerant bands do not play opposite you
window.
You avoid tho nuisance Of serving on ~
ries
No one thinks Of presenting you with
testimonial.
No tradesman irritatcs you by asking ~
there any other little article to day, sir"
Begging letter-writers leave you alone.
Imposters know it is useless to blee
you.
. You practice temperance.
You swallow Intimately less poison tha
Others
You have saved many debt, many d'
ccption, many headache. :.
And, lastly, if you have true friend
, tho world, you are sure, in very short spat
: of time, TO learn it.
re- A fast man undertook the task
, teasing preacher.
"Do you believe, he said, 'in the story
tho prodical son and tho fattencd calfF
"Yes," said the preacher.
9 "Well then, was it malo or female ca
that was killedw