Semi-weekly standard. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1853-18??, 1857-06-03
Ltd. ....1-F s,s =. For the Standard.
PINEBUR MOCCAsIN ON "DIsTRIBUsHUN."

MOCCASINVILLE N. ". may 01s AoOt.
Mr.. PRINTERS I've red sumwhere OF foolish
Teller that tried to ketch bird by openin his buzz
yum and shakin' the tree the bird was settn Oh,
thinkin he could shake it out and it would fall into
his buzzum. The result was, the bird fewed Oft and
left the pore fool with empty buzzum. That's
jest about the way with the distribushum humbug.
The Know Nuthin, Sam. American Wings keeps
tellin us that all we've got to do is to open our
pockets and git them full of dollars Whoever tries
it will meet the luck the Teller did that tried to
shake the bird down for it ant the natur of money
to Jest crawl into mans pocket without effort
his part any more'n it's the natur of birds to fall
when you shake bush. When any body promises
to stuff your pockets full of dollars all for nuthin;
you may be shore he's lynn and that the truth ant
in him.
Sum of people make nifty fuss about our
State taxes, and want the gneral government to
give money and relieve from these taxes Now,
where in thunder does the gneral government git
its money but from the people and from the sales of
public lands? Then if the gneral government gives
you monny, you must give it the money to give to
you and pay its ofshals to take it FROM you, that
for every dollar it gave you, you'd give it at least
1925, and you'd gain loss of quarter on every
dollar you got Jest let 20 men throw in a hundred
dollars apiece and give sumbody 10 per cent to take
it and keep it year and then divide it out among
them again. and you'll have example of the prac-
teal workin' of distrbushun and the profits to be
derived from it and you'll also have very perfect
spesmen of 20 egrejous fools, for which Barnum
would give good price.
But, say these distribushunists there's the public
lands that ought to be divided. WE'LL s'posn.
do divide them, what'll they be wuth? There' be
81 States with lands to SELL and they'll all be ank-
shus to sell, too; and the land will be sold to spe-
ckeators at low price and in large quantities, and
in few years therell be few big land holders to
grind the pore and exact whatever price they please,
and we'll have landed aristocracy like that in Ing.
land and Ireland, and at the same time we'll be
payin taxes in the way of the tariff to make up for
the loss of these lands and their transfer to
shonable spectators and arstocrats; and the eend
of it would be civil and boodshed, and giner-
al breakin' up of every thing and universal smash
That's Jest what b'eve about it.
But then, ses sum, sell the lands and divide the
proceeds. WE'LL s'pose you sell lands and git
million of dollars and divide it out. Ant you got
to pay sumbody to do it? And don't it take jest
million of dollars out of the treshury that's got to
be made up by the tariff? You git dollar for your
"sheer' of the public lands, as Ginera Duckery SEES,
and you pay two dollars for warm broadcloth coat
to make up for that dollar. Don't you reckon it
would take you long time to git rich at them rates.
It's sumthin' like old game I've hearn tell of called
chuck a-luck," in which it was sed, 1.-THE more you
put down the less you take up"
But want to give another illustrashun. Spose
it's decided to be best for the State of North Caro-.
lima to pay all the county charges though course,
nobody but dstribushun fool would make sich
dcsishun.) Then all the taxes collected for county
purposes must pass through the hands of the sheriff.
the county trustee and the State treshurer each Of
whom must have his per centage out OF them, and
what's left the treshurer must divide out to the pee
pie that paid it in, and insd of usin it to pay
| ty expenses there must be levied State tax for
that purpose and out of it. too the sheriff and the
treshurer must have their percentage. Wouldn't
that be smart? Don't it look right down silly
Yit it's Jest sensible the dstribushun proposs-
hun by the ginera government to the States. You'd
make jest as much by one as by t'other, and with
both together you'd be as ded broke as 10 Smithers
| A. L: Eli ..xl.
broke his back and the coffin and if that wasn't
ded broke, this distribushun broke would be. 1t
would be like my little boy Peter sed t'other day
when he seed yoke of oxes pulln' off a old ded
boss: Daddy, ses he, "that's what call ded
drag" b'lieve two SIGH ded drags" wouldn't be
| equal to the distribushun drag.
But" sed Ned Davolt to me one day, the fur
reners has to support our gneral government, for
we evies tariff on them" Now Ned is a strong
distribushinist, and that shows how much he's
got Sed I, Ned you're fool and I'll prove it to
you, and I'll prove that you pay, without grumbln,
to the federal government ten times moren you pay
| to the State about which you make SIGH consarn-
ed FUSS Now Ned you bought fine broad cloth
slut t'othcr day that cost you $50. 1t was French
cloth, and if there had bin tariff it could have bin
sold here fer s. yard but the cussed furrener"
had to pay about 81 per yard by way of duty, and
then he had to put it the price of the CLOTH and
he sold it at SIS yard and whoever he sold it to
made profit on it, and finally, Ned, You got it, and
|
have paid if thered bin tariff; for that suit of
clothes you paid more taxes than you ever paid in
one year to the State, and yit you didn't grumble
about it, but you grumble because you have to paw
so cts to the State for warm he'd your shoders
and I'm not sartin but you're payin more'n it's
wuth and therefore have right to grumble. Ned
sorter sticked up his nose and started off, but
called him back and told him he could got that
suit for $40 if there had bin tariff SEES he, Uncle
Pinebur, you're too menny for me- and always was
| hut 7 in or dietr chup g W.. r
"you 60 in for payin' 50 on broadcloth and savin'
81 on your State taxes" He made no anser at all,
but he looked very much like goose, and left.
The upshot of the whole matter is that the South
has to pay heavy taxes to support Northern manu-
facturers and the more distrbushun we have, the
more taxes we will pay, and the North will grow
richer and the South porer-States' rights will be
weakened and abolishunists will be strengthened
the consttushun will be trampled upon, and then
the Union ant with preservin!
I've got sumthin' to say about that 80 millions of
surplus now in the treshury, but I'll put it off for
the present I've writ a long enuf letter for this
| time.
Yourn till deth,
PINEBUR MOCCASIN
P. S. How does the editur of the Register pro-
nounce his name. Sum SEES it's Simm, and sum ses
its Sine, and sum ses it's Simon 1 reckon it's
Simon Shellotts, 10 Smithers used to call Simon
Zelotes
RIVER IMPROVEMENTS AND PLANK RoAD.-The
improvement of Tar River has been suspended, and
the fixtures, materials &C. sold. Thus has $40 600
been seuandered in another vain effort to improve
our river. About 100000 has also been expended
on the Neuse with similar result. And, on the
Cape Fear, much doubt and dstrust exists to ul-
innate success.
The benefits anticipated from Plank Roads, appear
also to be unfounded. The Greenville and Wilson
Plank Road is rapidly decaying, and doubts en-
tertained of its being kept up for any length oftime.
| 7asboro Southe7ner.