The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1857-09-05


the field, leadin' dad By the bride,
and totin' the gopher plow on my back.
When we cum to the fence, / let down a
gap, and il made dad mad; he wanted to
I jump the fence on all fours, hoss way l
hitchcd him onto the gopher, and away
We went, dad lesAin' forard to his pullin'
| right peart, an We n,sde sharp plowin' !,
dad soin' rite over the sprouts and bush
e. same az ralci hoss The only differ
was he went on two legs. Presently we
cum to 4 sassafrac bush, and dad, to keep
up his karacter as hoss, bulged squar
intu it, an tore down hornets nest nigh
onto as big as a hoss's head, and all the
tribe kivered him right strate. He rared
an kicked once or twice, and fotched
such squeal as was nor ary hoss in the
| deestrict Good do, an sot into runnin'
away, lest as material as ever you seed. I
let 90 the lines ana s..oolllered 'Woa, dad,
woa' but yer mout as well said 'wo.' to
a locomotive Gewhillicans! how he ru22!
When he cum to bush, he'd clar the
top of it, gopher an all; praps he thought
there mout be another settlement of bald
hornets in it. aud that it wur safer tn go
over than thru, an quicker dun; every
now and then he'd paw the sides Of his
he'd with fust one fore leg and then 10th
er, and he'd gin hisself an open handed
slap, that sounded like wagin whip an
all the time, an kerrin that gopher jest
about as fast an as high from the yearth
as ever gopher was carried, swear
When he cum to the fence he busted rite
thru it, tearin' down nigh onto seven
pannels, scatterin' and breakin' the
rales mitily, and there he left gopher,
geers, singletree and klevis, all mixed up,
not wuth durn Most ov his shirt stuck
on the splintered end of a broken rale, an
nigh onto pint ov hornets staid with
the shirt stingin' it all over, the balance
on 'enl, about gallon and half kept Oh
with dad. He seemed to run jest edzact-
ly as fast as hornet could fly, for it war
the tightest race ever did see. Down
thru the sedge grass they all went; the
hornets making it all look like smoke all
round dads bald he'd; and he with nuthin
on yearth on but the bride an Ugh on
to yard of plow line sailin' behind.
IL seed now he war amin for the
swimin' hole in the creek, whar the bluff
is over twenty-five feet perpendicular in
the water, an it's nigh onto ten foot deep.
Well, to keep up his karacter as a hoss,
when he got to the bluff he jest leaped off,
or rather he jest kept on runnin' ker-
slunge into the kreek he went; | seed the
water fy plum over the bluff from whar |
was. Now, rite thar, boys, he overdid
the thing, if that wur what he was arter,
| for there's nary hess ever was foalded
durn' fool enough to lope over eny sich
place, cussed mule mout dun it, but
dad warnt acting mule. | crept up to
the edge and looked over; thar was dad s
bald head, for all the yearth like peeled
onion, bobbin' up an down, an the hor-
nets sailin' an circlin' round turkey
buzzard fashion, an every once in while
one, an sumtimes ten, 'ud make dip at
dads he'd. He kept up a right peart
dodgin' under; sometimes afore they hit
him, an sometimes arter, and the water
was kiyered with drownded hornets
What on yearth are you doin' in thar,
dad !" seq |. Don't dip you see these
cussed (dip) Internal varmints dip artsr
meI' What sez |, 'them's boss flies
thar-ye aint REALLY feared ov them are
ye" Hoss flies, hill ser dad; they re
ralc (dip) genuine, bald hornets you in-
fernal rip We'll, dad, you'll have tu
stay rite thar till mite, an arter they go
tu roost you cum home an I'll feed you.
| sorter think you wont need much curry
ing for week or so / wish may new
er see tomorrow, (iip) if don't ruminate
you dip when | do get out seq dad
Better say you wish you may never see
another bald hornet, if you ever play hoss
agin, sez land KNOWN dads unmolli,
fed natur' | broke from them parts, and
sorter cum to the copper mines staid
hid out till next AFTERNOON, when | seed
Teller travelin,' an SEE l: What was
goin on at the cabin this side of the
creek when you passed it, Why, nuth
in much, only a man was settln' in the
door with nary shirt on, an woman was
greasin' his back au' arms, an his hed
was about as big as ten gallon kcg, an
his he'd was about as big as a ten gallon
keg, an he hadn't the fust sign of an eyt
ali smooth. That man was MY DAD
sez l. Been much ftin' in this neigh
sorhood, lately?' sez the traveller, rather
drily. Not wuth speakin' ov pussonally
or perticulerly,' sea [ Now boys, hahn
seen dad since, and would fcard to NEE
him in the next ten years. Let's drink. ,