San Andreas independent., 1857-11-14
SUIT Lovegood's Daddy Acting Hoss.

Keep him whar he is"
"Woa, woa, Shavetail.o
He's dancing jig"
These and like expressions were ad-
dressed to a queer-looking, long-legged,
short-bodied, white haired, hog-eyed, fun
ny sort of genius, fresh from some Sec
ond-hand clothing store, and mounted on
"Tarpoke, nic-tailed, long, poor horse,
half-brandy, half-devil, and enveloped all
over in perfect network Of bridle-reins,
scruppers, martingales, straps, circingles
and red feretin, who had reined up in
front of Pat Nack's grocery, among 8
crowd of wild mountaineers, full of fight
and bad whisky.
" say, you darned ash-cats, iist keer
your shirts on, will ye? You never seed
raal hoss till l rid up. Tarpoke is jist
next to the best hoss that ever shelled
nubbins, and he's dead as still-worm
poor old Ticky-Tail."
What killed him Sut?" said an anx
ious inquirer
"Why, nuthin, you tarnal fool; he list
died; standin up at that. Warn't that
good pluck? Froze stiff; no, not ad
zactly, but starved fust and froze arter
wards, SO stiff that when dad and me
pushed him over, he just stuck out So
i Spreading his arms and legs) like car
penter's bench, and we waited seventeen
days for him to thaw, afore We could skin
him. Well, thar we was-dad and me
Counting his fngers), dad an me, Sal an
Jake, Fool Jake we used to call him fol
short), an Phineas, an Simon, an Jonas,
an Charloteean, an Calina Jane, an Cashus
Henry Clay, an Noah Dan Webster, an
Catharine Second, an Cleopatry Antony
an Jane Lind, an Tom Bullion, the baby
an the prospect, and marin herself, all
left without any hoss to crop with. That
was nice mess for spectacle family to
be slashin about in, warn't it? | declail
if [ didn't feel like steelin hoss some.
times. Well, we waited an rested and
waited until well into strawberry time
hopin some stray hoss mout come along
but dog my cats if eny sich luck as that
ever comes whar dad is, he's SO drafted
mean, an lazy, an ugly, an savage, an tri-
| fin."
"Well, one mite, dad he lay awake all
mite, snortin, an rollin, an whis-
perrin at marm and next mornin sez he,
Sut, I'll tell you what well do, I'll be
hoss myself, an pull the pillow, while you
drive me, and We'll break up corn ground,
and then the old quilt CHATS marm) j,
and brats kin plant or let it alone, jist as
they please" So out we goes to the
pawpaw, and peeled right smart chance
of bark, and marin and me made gears
for dad, and they become him nightly /;
then he would have bride; so | gifts
an old umbrella what | found-it's lit
tie piece of iron, sorter like unto pitch
fork, We know-an we bent and twisted
it sorter intu bride bit, snail shape
dad wanted it kurb, as he said he hadn't
worked for some time and might sorter
feel his oats, an 90 to cavortin.) Well,
when we got the bride fixed on dad, he
chomped the bit jist like a raal boss, Che
always was most complicated old fool
eny how, and marin alters said so when
he warn't about then put on the gears
and out dad and me goes to the field, | q
leadin dad by the bride, and totin the
gopher plow on my back.
When we come to the fence, [ lei
down gap, and made dad mad, he
wanted to jump the fence on all-fours
hoss way. | hitched him on to the 90
pher, and away we went, dad leanin for
ward to his pullin, right peart, and We
made sharp plowin, dad goin right ovel
the bushes aud sprouts same as raa
hoss, the only difference is, he went on
two legs.
Presently we came toa sassafrac patch
and dad, to keep up his karacter as q
hoss, bulged square into it, and tore
down hornets nest nigh onto as big as
a hoss' head, and all the tribe kivered
him right strate. He rarcd and kicked
once or twice, and fetched squeal wos
nor airy hoss in the district, and sot into
runnin away just as natural as ever you
seed. | let go the lines, and hollered
woa, dad, woa but yc mout as well OF
said woa to locomotive. Gewhilikins
how he run. When he cum to bush
he'd clear it, gopher and all praps he
thot there mout be another settlement of
bald hornets in it, and that it war safer
to go over than thru and quicker dun
every now and then he'd paw one side OF
his head with fust one fore leg and then
tother, then he gin himself an OPEN
handed slap, that sounded like wagon
whip, and runnin all the time, and car
rien that gopher just about as fast and
high from the yearth as ever a gopher
was carried, | swar When he cum to
the fence he busted right thru it, tarin
nigh onto seven pannels, scatterin and
brakin the rale nightly, and here he left
the gopher, gears, singletrees and kleyis,
all mixed up, not wuth durn. Most of
his shirt stuck to the splintered end of a
broken rale, and nigh onto pint of hor-
nets staid with the shirt, singing it all
over, the balance on EN-, about gallon
and halt, kept on with dad. He
r