Sugar planter. [volume] (West Baton Rouge [i.e. Port Allen, West Baton Rouge Parish, La.]) 1856-1925, 1857-01-24
A Spoonful of Punch. :

! tomh lRCTHS, BY A HON HESPEAKING
! pHHOsoptER.-As sure AS there bap-
I pens to be cold meat or poor, shappv
dinner OF scraps and make>ups, so sure is
! the husband to take some one home to
| dinner with him.
/ No child ever makes noise: and as
| for babies, it is we'll known fact that
every blessed baby that ever was born
was the ''quletes, little thing in the
world"
/ It is rare indeed that You can get two
mothers~ln law to agree upon any do
nestle matter,mo especially upon auy
treatment connected with the rearing Of
children.
One thing is indisputabIe.-
take care generally TO answer the mo...er
IN laws bell the first time it IS rung.
The kitchen chimney only catches fire
on festive occasions, and no cook ever
thinks Of having a nervous fit, such as
necessitates her being carried up stairs
to bed IN q state of lnsens'bllity, but on
some grand soIemnity, when you have
distinguished company to dinner.
AS the mother grows older, 50 the
daughters grow; for, ifthe mother is only
thirtv-two, it would be absured and
contradictory TO give out that her grown
up daughter, were more than fifteen or
eighteen III the utmost.
From the want Of this simple man
agement, ridiculous cases hare been
known in which the mother. By de-
Iucting l, or more, off her age every
year. and negIecting to make the same
deduction with her youthful beauties, has !.
a; Ienght arrived 10 be Of the same age as |
her daughters.
A MATRIMONIAL ALLIAscE.-Fash |
ionable folks have ceased to marry.-I
Now according to Jenkins and his i:ni-
tators, 'ttley form a matrimonial ALI
ance," upon which Susan Jane writes to
Punch to inquire IF such an alliance is
to be considered offensive and defensive?'
Mr.. Punch ventures to reply offensive
vixen misfortune or difficulty is to be
attacked and overcome; defensive. when
sorrow or sickness assaiIs; and expensive.
when certain little parties, whether or
rot. viii Join in the compact
\ SUGGESTION TO THE ASAToMrsrs.-I
Considering The late prevalence of
'o,ro inq-which consists, as our readers
Ill know. IN drawing handkerchief
ight arouud the victims neck. while voa !
,iunder hin-wouId It not be well TO
.hangr tire name from the carotid to
he garrote:i' artery
SCENES IN THE C,RcLE.-Madama ,
'rlnoI'ne will, on the evening OF bcr forth ;
on,lng so5ree, appear III her beautiful +,
eS dress Of Lyons g1ace silk, the
circumference Of which is expected 10 r
Keel everything Of the kind. the doors
t her bad room having been purposeis
niarsed to allow Of the perfect mgress
nd egress of the said costume withou, :
.ar OF disarranging the elegance of It's
lids, nur danger OF an accident reducing
'e extremely liberal number of its ,.
nunces. IN the centre of that large =
rcle Madame Cfiuolne will remain for .
fe hours (trom II P. NJ. to ! 2. NJ :
ID receive her fashionable friends L. (
ldltion to numerous other feats of Z
,iIlty, such AS jumping through fifteen
tfereut hoops, OF which her duck Of q )
ess is composed, and s,igh'ing each
Ne upon her feet the accomplished lady =
II, in the presence OF the entire company
urtesy to every guest, drink a cup Of :
flee, devour a vanilla ice. sing Frencn
ng. walk through q quadrllle, aud stand, = :
thont the least apparent fatigue, any ~
ount of tlattery from noble Cavalry Y
ptain present: and, moreover. before u
reiug TO rest, Madame Crinoline will u
,cseussnent favor the company by
'clng the polka with a Hungarian noble
u Of distncti'on. who has kindly prom
| to attend in his national cos |.Al
he. Cards will be sent in due time til
trough the Messrs. Gunters to all in
dame de CGinoEne,s friends. Sup to
at two. Sh,
= hir