Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1857-10-22
4musing Reabing,
GOING HOME WITH A GIRL.

sJeems,' the local editor of the Baldwins-
vile Gazette, is something Of wag. In
recent number of that paper he gives an ac-
count of "the first time he ever went home
with a girl which is certainly the richest
thing we have ever seen. AS he thought
proper to chronicle it for the edifcation of
the public, we give it the benefit Of our cir
culation:
We were between sixteen and seventeen
years of age when the event about to be re-
lated transpired and as description Of our
personal appearance at that time is absolute.
ly essential to the point of our story, we will
give it as concisely as the subject will allow.
In reference, then to that period, to say that
we were green in the usual acceptation of
that term, would give the reader but poor
idea of the figure we displayed. Rather
imagine a tall, lean, cadaverous, swarthy
looking chap, with legs like pair of tongs,
a countenance about as expressive as plate
of Dutch cheese, mouth that came very
near making an island of all the head above
it, face, covered with a .furze that looked
very much like the doUn on a meaoly hatched
goslin, with gait that would lead the be-
holder to conclude that We designed to trav-
el down both sides Of the street at the same
time, and you have correct daguerreotype
of sJeems' in the seventeenth year of his
age.
One dark gloomy night in the month Of
December, we chanced to be at spelling
school not thousand miles from Baldwins-
vile, where our eyes fell on fairy form
that Immediately set our susceptible heart IN
a blaze. She was sixteen, or thereabouts,
with bright eyes, red cheeks and cherry lips,
while the auburn ringlets clustered in a
wealth of profusion around her beautiful
head, and her person to our ravished imagi-
nation, was more perfect in form and outline,
than the most faultless statue ever chisseled
by the sculptor's art. As We gazed, our
feelings, which never before had aspired girl
ward, were fully aroused, and we determined
to go home ,oith her that ntyht or perish IN
rhe attempt. As soon, therefore, as school
was dismissed, and our lady love- suitably
bonnetted and cloaked, we approached to
offer our services as contempt ted, and we
then learned an important lesson, viz: the
difference between resolving and doing. As
we neared her we were seized with partial
blindness-red, green, blue, and yellowlights
flashed upon our vision and appeared and dis
appeared like witches in phantasmagoria-
our knees smote together like Belshazzer's
when he discovered the handwriting on the
wall, while our heart thumped with apparent
ly as much force as if it were driving ten
penny nails into our ribs. We, in the mean
time, managed to humble over something
which is perhaps known to the Recording
Angel, but certainly is not to US, at the same
time polking out our elbow as nearly at right
angles with our body as our physical confor-
nation would admit. .-.. .....
The night air blew keenly which served
in some sort to revive US, and as our senses
returned, what were our emotions on finding
the cherished object of our first love, cling
ing to our arm with all the tenacitya drown
ing man is said to clutch at straw! Talk
of elysian, or sliding down creased rainbows,
or feeding on German flutes, what are sich
'phelinks' in comparison to those mil ghty
ones that swelled our bosom nigh unto the
bursting of our waistcoat buttons; Our
happiness was sublime, sublimity, subl'mily,
sublimated, and every person who has ever
felt the divine throbbing of a hedged love
principle, fully understands the world of bliss
couched in the fourth, fifth, sixth and sew
enth words at the commencement of this
sentence.
Well, we passed on pleasantly towards our
Sally's home, talking of 'love and dove, and
dart and part until, so courageous had we
become, that we actually proposed 'to go in
and sit awhile to which our Dulcine very
graciously assented. Alas, for us! ! how soon
were we to be reminded that the 'course of
true love never did run smooth
Sally had brother of some ten summers
who accompanied US along the way, and who
was in wonderful high spirits at the idea of
his sisters having beau, and he would
walk around US frequently, giggling in the
height of his glee, and cycling us as closely
as if ourself and Sally were the world re-
nowned Siamese twins, and he was taking
his first look. Bill, by the way, was stub
bed, chuckle-headed boy, whose habiliments
would have made the fortune of any two
dealers in moprags.
At length we reached the bars, and while
we were letting them down, Bill shot past
US, and tore for the house as if pursued by
q thousand bulls of Basham. He flung open
the door with bang, and exclaimed at the
top of his voice
slNother! Mother! Jim Clark is cumiin'
hums wih SaNP
sIs he p screamed the old woman, in reply,
s,oal I declare! I didn't think the saphead
knep enough"
How TO GET RID OF RATs.-There is
public house on the St. John called Rat
Tavern. The name originated thus: An
American was travelling up the river during