davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1857-10-22
From the Illiuo.s Baptist.
The Fast Age.
BY DR.. z. Il. ROE.

There is one feature in the prcsen
Fast Age which we think is not fully
appreciated. We allude to the incrcaseC
rapidity with which life is made to move
1t is trite saying that we no long,
have any boys and girls; they are al
young gentlemen and ladies. The pas.
sage from the nursery to the parlor is
made almost at a single bound. To-day
in pantes and pinafores; tomorrow il
s.sltttte
set Tor the same fast time. table. W.
send our fast babies in a hurry from the
arms Of their fast mothers to have THEN
delicate systems, (brains and bodies
forced in a mental hot-bed at school BY
Il fast teacher. Where now is the ''smal
boy seven years old who would bo
caught saying ...-
To speak in public on the >tae.l'
No. Seven years old beys nowadays
are not SO green: they discuss the Pres
!dents message and crticise the last
book. They spit, turn out their toes,
aud affect man:iness; ; tomorrow they
will he men. -. .--.- .-
And how is it with the little girls
beg pardon-we mean the young ladies ::
They are made to ripen, (and alas /! tC
rot i'll early graves) even sooner than
their brothers. Exercise is out of fash
ion; romping is rude; stout limbs and
ruddy cheeks are genteel.: Buckram
and whalebone must take the place OF
muscle, and hoops supply the hips
The old fashioned school house" with
its unsophisticated teacher, its happy
childish faces, and its, pleasant play
ground, where the body as we'll as the
mind may be exercised and developed
is among the things that were. They
are all Academies and Colleges now.
The very books they study partake OF
the same fttst spirit. They consist chief
ly Of patent short hand processes for
becoming wise without la Dor, and learn
ed without studying; and the books for
themselves are SO coatrircd as to enable
the pupils to get at the results without
having to go through the study.
The consequence of all this is, rapid
progress, (mentaily and physically SUI
perieial scholarship and premature de-
But Tic last system is by no means
cOHHneu 10 lnc SCHOOLS. 1t pefHaQcS
all sociaty. 1t is in the nursery, in the
parlor, i'll the kitchen, in the dining
room. 1t is in the public assembly.
where the venerable old man N ust stand
that pert little miss may sit. 1t is in
social party, where mother must sub
side ingo a corner to make way for de-
cennary miss. 1t is in the Legislature,
the Forum aud the Pulpit, where pre-:
cocious boys teach law, logic and reli.
gion to their grandf:shers. In Short, it
is everywhere. 1.5f.
AS matter of course, like all fruit
prematurely ripe, Young America dies
early. Among the females, disease OF
manifold form invades both body and
mind; and after few fast years OF pre-
ternatural life, death closes the scene !;
while We pretend to wonder at the ''mys-
terious stroke all-wise Providence. =
While the sterner sex, struggling lon
ger only to suffer more. wears out body
and soul in vain effort to keep up
with the times. ...-
LEIGH 40 we can bat grove,
For the good old days OF Adam and Eve"
Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1857-10-22
EATON, PREBLE COUNTY, o. OCT, %, 1857.


sMerciful heavens! Is the boy dcmen
ed 2'' -a .. s- --.ir
II wish / was, said Joshua, bitterly
Mother, you was right after all. ]
wish I'd never seen Bostown y
''What is the matt-r, Joshua p
''I've lost all my money u
"How, for gracious sake?" -
'sThat confounded rascal, Dash, has
gone off with it, and I shall never sec
It again-never p
Here Joshua yielded to the strength
Of his feelins, and boo-hooed with great
energy while his mother unskilled- in
he pharmacopoeia Of grief, prepared
him some eamemile tea, HlielsFiae: is.siies=z
: It was a sad termination of Joshua S
towering hopes, but time brought solace.
He after while resumed the occupation
of farming, and now cultivates the farm
adjoining his fathers which he occupies
together with a buxom country maiden.
Years have passed since his unluck y
visit to 'Bostown. but he cannot even
hear the name without indulging in a
hearty adjuration against the treachcr-
Gus Dash, who it is to be hoped, if he has
any record for his personal safety, will
never fall in with his quondam clerk
j oShua Staples.
Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1857-10-22
How the Devil Losi.

The following is too good to be lost
We clip it from an exchange paper, and
respectfully call the attention to it Of
certain persons who feel disposed to
spread in the newspaper line:
\ young man who ardently desired
wealth was visited by his Satanic majcs-
ty, who tempted him to promise his soul
ior eternity, if he could be supplied on
this earth with all the money he could
use. The bargain was concludcd--the
devil was to supply the money, and Was
1T last to have TIE soul, unless the young
man could spend more money than the
devil could furnish. Years passed away
the man married, was extravagtnt in
his living, built palaces, speculated wide
Iy-.ost and gave away fortunes, and
vet his Golfers were anyways iull. lie
turned politician, and bribed his way to
power and fame, without reducing his
pie of gold He became 'tilibuster,
and fitted out Ships and armies, but his
bunker honored ali his drafts. He went
to ST. Paul to live and paid the usual
rates of interest for all The money he
could borrow, but sho'ug me devil made
wry faces when he came to pay the bills
yet they were all paid. One expedient
after another fuilcd-thc devil counted
the time, only two years that he must
wait 1ur the soul, and Knocked the efforts
Of the despairing man. One more trial
was resolved upun-the man started Il
newspaper! The devil growIed at the
bill at the end of the first quarter, was
savage in six months, melancholy in
nine, and broke, dead broke,' at the
end of the year. So the newspaper went
down. but the soul Was saved. =
Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1857-10-22
Wl,ca Dcltli Co.laes.

Death coa,es at morn when the sun.
is just rising in the -East-at noon
when its rays are the most resplendcd
at eve when it .-1grad4ualiy-sink te-
meath the horizon--at midnight when it
is entirely hidden from view: it comes
to the babe just commencing to. prattle
it comes TO the man of middle age,
when the connecting links binding US
to life are most strong-it comes to the
aged man with trembling limbs and far
ded eye-sight, led along by others it
comes 10 the poor, struggling to obtain
Il meagrc .sustenance, it comes to the
man in comfortable circumstanccs-hx
whom lif3 is best enjoyed-it comes u
the wealthy rolling In af1luance and
case-it comes to the idiot laughing at
his own folly--it comes to the man of
just sense enough TO pass through life
casily-it. comes to the educated man
glorying in his Cicero and Homer--it
comes to the infdel. disowning his ma
kcr-it comes to the Christian, who
looks upon it only as a happier land.
Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1857-10-22

na-An Irish soldier who was boast
ing OF his courage, was asked why he
ran away in battle. ..
Faith" says Pat, "me heart is as
bowld as a lion, SO it is, but have a
pair OF cowardly legs which always run
away with me body when Id be afther
lighting the inimy; bad luck to the
legs" ~ --
Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1857-10-22

nea- y wayward son Of the Emerald
Isle left his bed and board, which he
and Margaret, his wife, had occupied
for long while, and spent his time
around rum shops, where he always
managed to count himself Oh hand
whenever anybody STOOD treat" Mar
yaret was dissatisfied with this state of
things, and cndeavored to get her hus-
band home again. This is the way she
did it: t
Now, Patrick, my honey, will ye
COON back?"
NO, Margaret, l won't come back"
"And wont you COON back for the
love of the childer?"
No, not for the love of the childer
Margaret !,
"Faix, thin, will we COON for the love
Of mcself?,
"Niyer at ALL Way wild ye",
"An, Pathrick, wont the love ef the
Church bring ye back p
The Church to the divil, and then /
wouldn' IT, ..:
Margaret thought she would try one
more inducement, Taking pint bot
tie of Whiskey from her pocket, and
holding it up to her truant husband
she said: --
"Will sc COON for drap of whiskey
dear ?" .. ..s..
''Ah, me darlin," answered Pat, una.
bic to stand such a temptation, lit
yersilf that always brings me home agir
-ye've got sich IA winnin' way wild ye!"
rA fashionable countess asking :
young nobleman which he thought tn,
prettiest flowers, roses or tulips, he re
piled with great gaIlanry, Your lady
Iship's two lips before all the roses in th
twor.d"
Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1857-10-22
A Poser.

y young Johnathan took it into his
head one day to. get Il wife, He accor-
DINGHY looked about him, and very soon
made such selection IT'S snitcd him,
and WAS not long in striking Il bargain
and settling his preliminarics. He then
applied to il clergyman to perform the
ceremony.
But are you prepared for such an
important change IN lite said the
reverend gentleman.
Il guess L be- says Johnathan, ''for
l have just got my land paid ior, and
own good yoke OF steers and a COW"
Very well, said the holy man with a
long breath and sober face, 'aIl these
worldly things may be very proper i'll
their place to be sure; but have you ever
tho't of salvation z"
This was poser. ",SuI Iation =
says Johnathau, who in thunder is
she ;n - -E
Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1857-10-22

a A doctor up town gave the fol,
lowing prescription for a sick lady few
days since: "A new bonnet, cashmere
shawl, and pair of gaiter boots y The
lady recovered immediately. ..-.-.
Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1857-10-22

nG- The woman who made a pound
of butter out of the cream of joke,
and cheese from tho milk of human
kindness, has since washed the close of
the year, and hung EN- to dry on bee
line 7I5.- -i.-|
Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1857-10-22

E- AN exchange complains of hay-
ing no marriages to publish, but con-
solcs itself by saying The weather Is
very warm, and when harvest is over
and the nights begin to get cool, these
matters will all come right again, nc
doubt. .--t,-. -.- ..
Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1857-10-22
NUMBER XXXXI-
4 a-;l,.I spec.lIntion.

Before Suggs opened his saddlesbags
to pay the Indian woman for the land,
ien. Lawson, who wanted slice, came
% Suggs, and said ..--..---
''Mr. Suggs I'd like to have an inter
:st in your contract. and I'm willing
o pay for it : I'll find the money to pay
he Indian, and give You an interest Of
Jne-third.;' 10 --., -.,- .....
Not 'thout 1 was willing, would sc 2
asked Suggs, jeeringly. p, .'..-
Ill do better than that, said Taylor,
wiping the blood from his nose: Illfur,
nish the money, and give you half the
and seIIs Tor when we part with 1T
Very proberbly,' remarked Simon,
but unless some on We counts me out
Ave hundred. and furnishes your own
money to buy TIE land. with, / shall
have to unlock here, patting the saddle
bags, 'and buy it myself 80,
I'll do it, said Col. Bryan, who had
been making calculatin on the inside
of the crown of his hat I'll do it,
'Ah,' said Suggs, that's what made
The chickens squan. You're the man
I'm hunting. Draw your wcepins.'
The land was forthwith certified to
Suggs, who Immediately transferred it
to Bryan. - -ot ~. -1--.51 z.ss
Now, gentlemen, said the Captain,
everybody satisfied, aint theyP
If they aint,. they ought to be- re-
piled Bryan, who was delighted with his
bargain. Is -1-2 -.1 80 - G1f
/ think so,7 too, remarked suzgs;
and bcin' as that's the case, he con,
tinucd, opening his saddle bags, full Of
gold and silver, or else lose my chance
Of profit here, I'll now throw out these
rocks and old iron, for it, mightyztires
some to horse and the Captain did
throw out the rocks and old iron, for he
had not dollar in the world: Tho
Spectators vanished. " i
This here's a mighty hard world.
murmured the Captain to himself, mu-
singly, ito get along In. Eff I don't
make every edge scut, I'm in the back
ground directly. It's toll and strive,
and tussle every way to make an honest
livin'. Well, he continued in a strain
Of unusual picty, as he threw up and
caught rolcau Of dollars, well there is
4 Providence that purvides = and ifa
man will only stand squar' up to what's
right, it will prosper his endeavors- to
make somethin' to feed his children OH.
Yes, tllere-i is a Providence! l should
like to see the ma who would say there
aiut. cont hold with no sich Eff
man says there aint no Providence YOU
may be sure there is something wrong
here, striking in the re, ,5ion of his breast
pocket-'and that man will swindfe you,
ef he can.-lSccne in Geo. - -1sats
Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1857-10-22

R~An old gentleman being asked
what he :;ished for dinner, replied,
IAN appetite, good company, something
to eat and a clean napkin" .-.
Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1857-10-22

rm"Sal," said ono girl to another,
I am SO glad have no beau now
why SOP" asked the other. "Oh,
cause 1 can eat as many onions as
please" -''
Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1857-10-22

EgeIf you want ar ignoramus to re-
spect you, dress to DEATH" ana wear
watch seals about the size .cf q brick
bat.
Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1857-10-22

G@. Which cause US the most bother
the mails Or the female? The latter
keep us writing letters all rhs time,
while the former never deliver them,
Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1857-10-22

~ Honesty is Il term formerly used
in the case OF man who paid Tor his
newspaper and the coat on his back e
Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1857-10-22
Skeleton Of n FaS .iO1l.IEaIe Ser
mon.

| The following from the KniC kerbock
er, is well merited burlesque on the
style of discourses too common in these
days of dandyjack graduates, anxiou,
to show off their slight smattering O.
superficial learning, without knowing
how to apply it.
Text-''And he killed the Fatted
Calf" -..-.c-- -.- ~ '.-.=g- Il.
ntroduction-Not necessary to say
much about the Prodigal Son, for near
ly every wealthy family has a specimen
of its own. and needs no enlightenment
| -s.44-t4l4e-e+4ljcct- Divide tEc c-euhjcct irr=
to five heads. .,e s-. .:..
1st-Speak of the calf, and inform
your hearers how the calf should be fat
ted. Give him all the milk of two cows,
except n tin cup full now and then for
the baby. Here you can make some
learned remarks about the milky way.
The belt Of Jupiter, and Lord Ross te!-
escopc.
2d-Hc killed the fattcd calf but not
only the Scriptures, but Josephus and
the Fathers, arc profoundly silent on
}he question how he killed it. AS this
vas more than thousand years before
the invention of fire arms or gun pow
der, the presumption is that the old man
dident shoot the critter, but pitched in
to him with a club-ior clubs are very
ancient institutions.
3d-Explain why the old gentleman,
instead of calf, didn't take shoat-
make a barbecue, and have a time OF
it. .-..- ....
4th-Tnform your readers what the
word calf means when used in Greek.
Latin, Choctaw or Lockjaw.
5th-Dwell pathetically upon the
melancholy degcneracy Of the present
age, evinced by the fact that fathers
nowadays instead of treating Il runa-
way son to '.fattcd calf are pretty
apt to treat him to ''hasty plate of
soup" made from the hide OF The calfs
maternal progenitor. 49,
Conclusion-Throw in little geolo-
gy; talk learncdly about ''grapewade'
and transition conglomerate." Wind
up the discourse with Il most eloquent
affecting appeal on the consciences Of
your hearers on the Durham breed of
catt.e.
Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1857-10-22
EaEInCSS.

catt.e.
LaZlnCSs.
Young man! AS you stand loafng
on that corner, or lounging at that ta-
vern or store, if you think the first cx-
preston is unjust to you, do you imag-
inc that you can continue to pursue
your present course of lie with impu-
nifty. --- g.
Iou are, doubtless, seeking happ:-
ness. That is understood to be the aim
Of all, however different the paths in
which they seek it. Do you really think
you Will find it in the path OF idicneas?
II. it, the expression, path OF id.e-
uess," does not involve what logicians
call a solecism. Perhaps you may
that is, the evalescent emotions Of the
hour which you call "happincSs. But
this is the sort of happiness which 6 cd
intended for man. with all his capacities
of muscle and mind--man, who is de-
clared to have Leeu created on scale
only "a little lower than the angels ?"
Hale and hearty, and well appearing
too. externally, with the aid oil. Il tailor
whose bills you have never thought of
paying; and you satisfied with such
happiness as this, young man?
No-no-you surely will not look us
in tho eye, like frank and honest
youth, aud tell us that you are happy.
But if you should tell US SO, we would
not believe you! There is no happi-
ness, in the true sense of the word, III :.
life Of laziness. Nor will there be ply
steal health, long-to say nothing OF
mental health-which is ever dependant
upon the corporeal structure.
Happiness always pre-supposcs con
tentmcnt. Coutentmcnt, to push the
analysis back, pre-supposcs a due bal
ance of the whole man. This is impos
sibIe to that habit Of inaction which VIC
call '.lazine5s.
Do You sec the truth, young MANI
Ii you do, there will be no need OF
shauing you ont Of your disgraceful
propensity. You will so to work al
once, and thank heaven, as we haze
reason to believe others have done, for
the good advice which the Dem ocra:
has given you-thus bidding good bye
to the very thought of lazincss oi
which, i'll addition to the Consequences
above named, Franklin has warned you,
that it travels so slow that poverty soon
overtakes it. -. -..
A hundred cheers to aid you in your
discrimination.
R9~"Well, my lad, whers are you
travelling this stormy weather, alone p
asked an inquisitive landlord in the
north of Vermont, during the last war,
of small lad, whose father was engaged
in smuggling, and had sent him as
young as he was, with an important
message in advance of the party
Going to draw my PENSION was the
reply. Your pension?" echoed the
landlord, what does so small boy
as you draw pension for?' "MinGins
my own business, and letting that o
ther peoples alone" The landlord
sloped. ..
sza- The Lynchburg Virginian dryl,
remarks:
The ladies don't care copper 70
suspension. You can fool them. The,
were out yesterday in full feather. look
ing as pretty and sweet as if suSpens;c
) was glass Of good dry wine, aud the
had taken it,
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1857-05-23
Arrival Of the George In ".

NEW 1 oRk, May ID.
The George law arrived shortly after
7 clock, with the California mail of the
e0th rIt. and 81, 700, 900 in treasure. She
connected with the Golden Age. which
brought down 50 100000. ao ss o-
A bill passed the California Assembly
apppinting a board Of examiners to find
the Indebtedness of the City Of San Fran
cisco accruing previous to July, 1856.
The Assembly Judiciary Committee,
by direction Of Assembly, have reported
bill preventing the emigration of color
ed persons, The bill will probably pass.
A bill passed the Senate submitting
the payment Of tho State debt to the peo-
pie. H4H = zE1~z y fo.ttt.r'a
The Legislature adjourned on the 9th
day ofgAprils wc.ol .a1#@ a34
Mining news very favorable. Bust
ness dull. 70. .As - - NJ
The crops promise to be extensive be-
you'd precedent, ~
The Democrats carried the charter
election at Sacramento BY large majori-
fy. A s=#
: NThs Theatre and other property at Or
vile, was burned April 18th. Loss $50,
900. .ass~oz - 40 .- =@.
Numerous crimes and casualties are re-
ported. .ea
The winter in Oregon wa, more stor-
my, and the sncw deeper than ever
knovn. 1t is generally thought that the
people will adopt State government and
. constitution prohibitory of slavery
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1857-05-23

kis:r, Gre " l. Turner. ~
Ii is needless TO expatiate about the
goods of this firm, almost everybody have
traded there and had 'tocular demonstra-
tions' Of the vast varieties Of goods to
b. seen AMI had at their establishment.
They have, this spring, already received
their flesh supply Of the esquire's choi-
cast selections, and all kaow he cannot
be out d,aa on good and tasty selections,
either f,r variety, beauty, durability, or
cheapaa.s. The Ladies' in particular will
fad here, not only avery large and choice
selection of bonnets, but all the trim
mings, trinkcry, and trickery, required
torig up the fashionable bellies, and the
young gent, too, can be made up to
salt Els own taste; but it is useless to
dwell on the subject, the house is favo-
rite one with the farmers, Ladies, young
Gents, and every body-5ut read their
new advertisement, to see what they
| promise in this chapter
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1857-05-23

81 WASHINGTON, May Is

4. * - WASHINGTON, May IL.
William J. Cullen, of Indiana, 10 ap-
pointed TO the Northern SUPPLEMENTARY
of Indian Affairs. Pc
Andrew w. Fitch appointed sgent Mi
chigan Indians. vice Gilbert, resigned.
Fayette McMullan, Governor Territory
Of Washington; vice Anderson, declined,
with view to obligs purchasers of Trust
Lands in Kansas ct The approaching June
and July sales. $50
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1857-05-23
New York News.

NEW York, May Is.
The American Board of Commissioner
Of Foreign Missions held their maeting
to-day--The report shows that the Mis-
sion at Canton has sustained loss by
being driven from'thc ground, and de-
struction of books to the amount Of Sl,
600. The receipts Of the nine months OF
the fiscal year ares246, 500; an increace
of 1924 90 compared with the same Pc
riod last year.
Several addresses were made BY Mis-
sionaries, showing the good results achicy-
ed by the labors Of the Society.
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1857-05-23
DrTpo,r MAY


Reliable information has been received
here, Of great restitution prevailing in
Gratiot and other counties in the northen
part Of Michigan.
Several persons have already died Of
starvation, and it is feared many more
will perish unless speedily relieved "a
Many cattle arr also dying for the want
of food
A meeting has been called here to dc.
wise measures for their relief,
The body of John Rogers, whose sud
den disappearance some six weeks since,
created considerable excitement, and for
whose recovery q reward Of $500 was
offered, was found last evening in the
Detroit river, bearing evident marks Of
having been murdered
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1857-05-23


= Pssaaaa's .Nomthiy for, May, introduces
searching review Of the late decision
Of the Supreme Court Of the United
States in the bred Scott case BY the fol-
lowing suggestive passage :ezs4 .ah
When that model Of Roman E,npe-
ror, who has always passed in history I'M
der the name Of Carracalla, put his col
league and brother Geta to death, he re-
ouested. Papinian to write him out such
q defence a the deed AZ II might be pro
per for him to read before the Senate. -
The old juri,t answered, in the noblest
spirit Of justice, that il was great deal
easier to commit murder than to justi-
~ it; and though the answer cost him bis
life ultimately, posterity has never ceased
to admire the boldn2ss Ii, less than the
truth 81 that reply.