The Council Bluffs nonpareil. [volume] (Council Bluffs [Iowa]) 1857-1867, 1857-09-19

fool YETI 8 ee afa ei.sf i a7f
'S6o! You don't pretendto say you'll Try
to cheat him9 Remember, Mr.. Smith
you're member of the Church,
sPll 6x him, said--ain't that enuff2 I'll
have my money back agin' afore next month
this time--f ldon't, then Pll give You I
gown.'
'Wall, why not tell how you calculate to
do it?'
sWall, mean to. Pshaw woman
can't keep q secret so rest easy without
moving everything. III fix him-that's
all.' 1870 .ls&..g
With a wonderfully knowing air, Mr..
Smith limped out of the house, and going
to the milk yard, desired Simon Mildmay to
step into the sleeps house with him min
ute-he wanted to have little talk.
Simon, frightened half to death lest the
kissing affair behind the brindle COW had
been discovered, obeyed with fear and
trembling. 4i. 1, avs.4 ta ga
Simon says Smith, coming to the point
Of once, can you keep secret 2
SsWall, do you love my darter Jane?' 3.
slow? Ah--hem- -eh-oh. Sir, -
Poor Simoa's knees began to knock 'togeth-
er, aud his teeth chartered in his head.
sDon't be fool, Simon, nobody's goin'
to kill ye. Speak out.' iza
f sYes, sir, do love her. - ess
well, Simon, if you love her that's well;
but if you marry her, you've got to work for
her. Will you be willing to do that?'
sTryme.'
sWall, want You to show your love by
doing me little service in an affair that Pye
got into and want to get out Of
'Anything in the world Mr.. Smith from
fighting duel to killing wild cat
sYou know Squire Jim Richer r
sTo be sure.' t,.7,,. t.... ...-. Il.
sHe's specnlator and cheat, you know?'
sYour short horn COW shows that plain
enough e @aa ~
'That's it exactly, Simon, and to tell the
truth, don't feel over and above well
pleased with that bargain, and if could
only git the better Of the Squire in some
way / should be delighted. Pvc got plan
fixed that think will be just the thing, and
all want is you to carry it out for me.
sSay on. Fm ready for anything, if James
to be my reward. tF7sE '
sWali, now harken. The Squire thinks a
sight Of nice cattle, and will give Almost
any price afore he'll lose the chance of get
TIM a valuable animal. Now, l want you to
take some paint-mind and get it the zact
shade-and paint short horns white spots
black Just like the rest of her.
Then get sharp file and file her horns off
even with her head, and after you've got her
fixed, take her into the cars, and don't stop
till YOU get to Boston. After you get there,
write me letter that you are the Earl of
Derbv's herdsman-an English name takes
you know-and that you have come to
America a purpose to buy up fine cattle
Pretend you have heard of me as one that
takes powerful interest in the improvement
Of stock, and that you would like for me
to come to Boston and see splendid black
COW of the no horn breed, which the Earl
had sent to the Mayor Of Boston as pres
ent. just hint that, for consideration,
you would be willing to part with her to any
American farmer, and palm off an inferior
animal upon the Mayor. Do you understand
me. Mildmay!'
sPefectly, sir. Go ahead
'Well, when see Squire Richer he'll ask
me how like that short horn, and where
she is. Pll tell him that my wife thinks she
a handsum critter, and that have sent her
up into Belknap county for better pasturing.
Talking of her will bring in this other affair
handy and then will show him your letter
and invite him to 20 Boston with me to see
the celebrated no horn. Ill tell him that
Pm sot on havin' tho COW, if she don't cost
more than Pm worth, and that'li make him
determined to have her himself. You must
ask an enormous price at first, but fall down
a hundred dollars or so, just to make him
think he's cheated We. Now, Simon, do you
think you can do the thing up brown?'
:Yes, yes. If, we'll, believe you said
something about Jane when YOU first be-
gun?'
$50 did. Well, if you can make it 60,
you may have Jane before cold weather, and
the money We get for short horn will help
Set you up housekeepin.' Mind though,
and keep it all to YOURSELF
'I'll be num- And off bounded Simon
to give Jane an infinite number of busses,
as he took the foaming pals from her hands
to carry them into the spring room.
The very next morning, before any of the
family were stirring, Simon, with the paint
ed COW, was on board the cars for Boston.
The next days mail brought to MIR. Smith,
the following letter =
'To JOHN SMITH, ESQ.,, Of Rockhill, Strafford
county, N. H.
Dear Sir beg leave to introduce my
self as William Bell, the herdsman Of the
Earl of Derby, Derbyshire, England. | am
on Journey through the United States for
the purpose of purchasing choice American
cattte-the Earl having taken it into his head
that mixture Of the English and American
breeds is desirable. lhave now at the sta
BILE on Green street magnificent black COW
of the no horn royal stock-which my
master has sent by me as n present to his
Honor, the Mayor of Boston. Having heard
through your highly respected friend, Rich
ard Stevens, of this place, that you are much
interested in the Improvement Of the Ameri-
can stock, have thought that it would do no
harm to dispose of this beautiful no horn to
you, and purchase a good American animal
for the Mayor. Of course you understand
this in confidence, as make the the offer
solely from the disinterested wish of serving
American cattle. If you should think il
worth your while. shall be very happy to
see YOU at the American House some time
during the present week.
With the highest respect,
Your obedient servant,
WILLIAM BELL
'Ha! ha! hap laughed John Smith, as
he finished reading the note. 'Simon's in
for it no mistake. Good--yes, that will do.
Now will harness up and make an errand
over to the Squire's after some cabbage
plants-he said he had slew of em.'
MIR. Smith was soon on the road behind
the gray mare, and on arriving at tha
Squire's he found that worthy man al
work in the garden. Mr.. Smith tied up hi:
horse and sprang over the fence where his
friend was hoeing corn. .s sals 8 'r:sas
sAh, ha! Good morning, good morning
neighbor Smith. Glad to see you. Fint
morning. a. 4s
capital. That rain night afore last die
the business for the crops. Things looE
hourish'.'
'Yes, as well as Eve known 'em to be fol
fourteen years--corn and beans especially
Why, Smith the corn on my Gov'nor lot ii
up to mans hips.' sa ea.s,e4s.
'Sho! Well that is large. But how
about them cabbage plants? Got any t.
spare eh?' At.a Z
sPlenty Of 'em Mr.. Smith--therc in tina
bed. Help yourself. ohY (after n brie
pause Il forgot to ask you about the COW
L IA Il a u