Marshall County Democrat. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1855-1859, 1857-09-10

The fair Flora looked up with pitifu air,
And answered quite promptly, why Harry, mon
cher,
should like above all things to go with you there
But actually and truly-I've nothing to wear
Nothing to wear! 60 just as you are;
Wear the dress you have on, and you'll be by far
l engage, the most bright and particular star
On the Stuckups horizon''-I stopped, for her ey
Notwithstanding this delicate onset of Aattery,
! Opened OF me at once most terrible battery
Of scorn and amazement. She made no reply,
But gave slight turn to the end of her nose,
(That pure Grecian feature, as much as to say,
How absurd that any sane man should suppose
That a lady would 60 to ball in the clothes,
No matter how fine, that she wears every day!'
So ventured again-'W ear your crimson brocade,
Second turn up of nose) That's too dark by ;
| shade
Your blue silk, That's too heavy 'You
pink, That's too light
| Wear tue over satin'-' can't endure white
Your rose-colored then, the best of the BATCH
Il haven't thread of point lace to match
Your brown noire antique, ,-'Y Yes, ,and look like a
Quaker;
dress maker
| Has had it a week-'When that exquisite lilac,
In which you could melt the heart of Shylock,
| Here the nose took again the same elevation)
Il wouldn't wear that for the whole of CREATION
| why not? It's my fancy, there's nothing could
strike it
As more comme IL taat'-'Yes, but dear me, that
lean
Sophronia Stuckup has got one just like it,
And won't appear dressed like chit of sixteen.
Then that splenid purple, that sweet Mazarine;
That zerhyr-like tarleton. that rich grenadine''-
Not one of all which is fit to be SEEM
Said the lady. becoming excited and flushed.
Then wear / exclaimed in a tone which quite
crushed
Opposition, 'that gorgeous toilette, which you
sported
In Paris last spring, at the grand presentation,
When YOU quite turned the head of the head of the
nation
courted.'
The end of the nose was portentously tipped up,
And both the bright eyes shot forth Indignation,
A she burst upon me with the fierce exclamation:
Il have worn it three times at the least calculation.
And that and the most of my dresses are ripped
up.'
Here ripped out something perhaps rather rash;
Quite innocent though; but to use an expression
More striking than classic, it settled my hash;'
And proved very soon the last act of our session.
'Fiddlesticks, is it sir? wonder the ceiling
Doesn't fall down and crush you-oh you men have
no feeling,
You selfish, unnatural, lliberal creatures,
Who set yourselves up as patterns and preachers,
Your silly pretense-why what mere guess it is,
Pray, what do you know of woman's necessities I?
Pve told you and shown you Ive nothing to wear,
And it's perfectly plain you not only don't care,
But you don't believe me (here the nose went still
higher)
suppose, if you dared you would call me liar.
Our engagement is ended, sr-yes, on the spot;
You're brute, and a monster, and-I don't know
what
mildly suggested the words-Hottentot,
Pickpocket and cannibal, Tartar and thief,
As gentle expetves which might give relief;
But this only proved spark to the powder,
And the storm had raised grew faster and louder
1t blew and raised, hundred, lghtened and hailed
Interjections verbs, pronouns, till language quite
failed
To express the abusive, and then its arrears
Were brought up all at once by torrent of tears.
And my last, faint, despairing attempt at an obs
Ervation was lost in tempest of sobs.
Well, felt for the lady. and felt for my hat too,
Improvsed on the crown of the latter tattoo,
In lieu of expressing the feelings which lay
Quite too deep for words, Wadsworth would say; /;
Then, without going through the form of a bow,
Found myself in the entry-I hardly knew how
On doorstep and sidewalk, past lamp-post and
square,
At home and up stairs, in my own easy chair;
Poked my feet into slippers, my fire into blaze,
And said to myself, AS lit my cigar.
Supposing man had the wealth of the Gar,
OF the Russians to boot, for the rest of bis days,
On the WnOie 90 you tflnk he would have much to
spare
Ii he married woman with nothing to wear2
Since that night, taking pains that it should not be
bruted
Abroad in society, I've instituted
course of inquiry, extensive and thorough,
On this vital subject, and fnd to my horror,
That fair Flora's case is bv no means surprising
But that there exists the greatest distress
In our female community. solely arisin0
From this unsupplied destitution of dress,
Whose unfortunate victims are filling the air
With the ptilul cry of nothing to wear
Researches IN some of the upper Ten Districts
Reveal the most painful and startling statistics,
Of which let me mention only few:
In one single house on the Fifth Avenue.
Three Young ladies we're found all below twenty
two,
Who have been three whole weeks without any
thing new,
In the way of aounced silks and thus left in the
lurch,
Are unable to go to ball, concert, or church.
Ia, l. A. ala