Nebraska advertiser., 1857-07-16


eye know boards with Bill Garry,
at his cabin on the mountains, an pays
for sich as I gets when hev money,
an when l hevent eny, why he takes
one-third owe it outen me in cussin';
and she, that's his wife, Belts, takes
out t'other two-thirds with the battlin'
stick, and the intrust with her tengan,
and the intrusts morn the principal
-heap more. She's the cusscdest
'onan 4 ever seed eny how for jaw,
breedin and pride. She ken scoltl "a
blister into bulls face rite on the
curl in two minits. She out breeds
everything on the river and pattrens
after ev'ry fashun she hears tell on,
from bussils to briches. Oh! she ones
of 'em, an sometimes she's two or
three. Well, ye see, I'd got sum
homemade cotton truck to make new
shurt outen, and coaxed Belts tu make
it, an about the time it wur dun, here
Gums Lawyer Johnson along an axed
for breakfus-I wish tt had pizened
him, durn his hide, an I wonder it
didn't, for she cooks awful mixins when
she trys. I'm pizen proof, myself,
(holding up his flask and peeping
throught it) ur I'd been ded long ago.
"Well while we were a eatin, she
spied out that his shurt was stiff AN
nifty slick; so she never rested till she
wormed it outen him that a prepara-
ton owe -four did it, an she got few
particulars about the proceedings, tu,
outen him by oman's art don't know
how she did it-peraps he does. Arter
he left she sot in an billed big pot
owe paste, nigh onto a peck owe it, an
souzed in my shurt tan let it soak awhile;
then she tuck it an ironed it out fiat
and dry, an sot it up on its aidge agin
the cabin in the sun. Thar it stood
as stiff as a dry hoss hide, an ii
ratified like a sheet owe iron, it did. II
. wur pasted tugether all over. When
! cum tn dinner, nuthin' wud do but ]
must put it on. Well, Belts an me
f got the thing open arter some hard
! work, she pullin' at one owe the tails
! an me at luther, an I got into it,
Durn the everlastin new fangIed shut
/ say. / felt like Tdcrawled inter an
! old bee gum, an it full owe pisahts; but
T it wur like Lawyer Johnson's an,
stud it like a man, an went tu worl
tu build Belts a ash-hopper. IworkeC
powerful hard an swet like hoss, an
e when the shurt got wetit quit its hurtin
a After [ got dun, | tuck about fou
e fingers owe red head, an crawled u
! into the cabin loft tn take snuze.
! "Well, when | walked up l thot Iva
d ded, or had the cholera, for all tn
e iints cud muve wer my ankles, wrists
and knees-cud'nt even muve my heat
and skasely wink my eyes-the cusse
shurt wur pasted fast on tu me all over
a from the pint owe the tails tu the pin
s. owe the broad-ax collars over my years
9r 1t sot me as close as a poor COW du
her hide in March. [ squirme'd an
a strain'd till l got it sorter broke at tn
9f shoulders an elbows, and then l du
r the durndest fool thing ever did i
u these mountains. | shufied my briche
= = off and tore luse from my hide abou
If two inches owe the tail all round i
ID much pain and tribulatiOn. Oh! bu
4 it did hurt. Then l tuck up plan
I outen the loft and hung my legs thr
the hole and nailed the aidge owe tn
frunt tail to the aidge owe the floor be
= fore, an the hind tail | nailed tu th
plank what I sot on. l on buttone
the collar and ristbands, raised m
- hands way up abuv my he'd, shot u
IS my eyes, said grace, an jumped thr
IS tu the groun -four"
n Here Sut ruminated sadly.
a "GeOrge, I'm a durnder fool tha
,. ever dad was, Hoss, Hornets, an al
" I'll dround myself sum ov these day
see eff 1 don't"
"WeH, go on, Sut; did the shi
come off.
"I-t-h-i-n-k-i-t-d-i-d. I hear
er a noise sorter like tarin' a shingle ru
lg off ov house, all at onst, an felt iii
r my CUTS an bones wur all that reacht
ce the fore. 1 staggered tu my feet a
g. tuck look up at the shut. The mai
ee had all hilt thar holt, an thar it WI
of hangin' arms down, inside out, an
Mt stiff as ever. It looked like map
Mexico jist after one ov the wor
battles patch owe my hide about Il
l size owe a dollar an a half bill here;
ar bunch owe my har about the size owe
, | birds nest thar; then sum more ski
ng then snm paste; then little more h;
Elf then a heap owe skin; then more hi
N, then skin; an so on all over that dur
en- new tangled, everlastin', internal Gu
W, owe a shurt. 1t war picture to 10
IN at-an' so wur l. The hide, har, q
ne paste wur about ekelly divided atwe
III me an hit. Wonder what Belts, du
It, her, tho't when she cum home an foU
to me missin'. Spect she thinks crawl
intu the thicket an died owe 1
eat wounds. It must av skared her goc