Butte record. (Bidwell, Butte County, Cal.) 1853-1858, 1857-06-27
Pierce Pungent's Topics.
THE FAST AGE.

Every age, like every period of in
dividual man, has its characteristics
These were named by the ancient po
cts as th- God, Silver and Iron ages
M -chanIcally. ours is the iron age still
since 1t is now in the ascendant fol
houses, steamers, engines and Rail-
roads Iron ically speaking. our heart.
are of that metal, too.
Every ag- has mental as we'll as a
metal peculiarity Rusticity in the
patriarchal, sporting in that of Mn
rod, drums and fifes ruled in the Gre
clan and Roman, chopping logic and
ch"pping heads off in the middle ages,
so much so that our facetious friend,
Wild, in one Of his orations epitomised
th religious proceeding of Bonner and
Cranmer. where recusants were either
beheaded or burnt at the stake, by
saying tn the r iavorite judicial oro-
ceedings were either a cold chop or hot
steak, we take this opportunity of CEN
>uring the ~itty coucilnan for the con-
founaing gastronony with death penal
ties, although we are convinced that
giuttony ki Is more than starvation.
The characteristic of our age is i'm
patience. 'Brevity is the soul of wit.
Condensation reigns Five act plays
are condenced into three; stage driv-
ers cram twenty into an omnibus made
for only twelve (; epics are unsal lie,
he oic poems at a discount in a word
odes are out, epigrams are in. Mods
and winks, uhicn were formerly both
considered equally good as legal ten
rs upon blind horses, whether spav-
ined or not, taxi the place Of seven
hour orations. Parsons will soon b.
reduced to their amens, and great ma
tions, instead of wasing as France
and England did at the com nence-
ment Of this century, a twenty one
years war, which ii took to bring them
to year OF discretion will toss up
heads or tails for the victory. F.ncy
Gen. Cass and Lord 2 .lnerston pitch
ing up cent on the Central Ame.ic.n
question Even ladies' petticoats are
becoming shorter, and we really care
not to what f.ngth snort skirts are
carried, nee it will afford rs the idea
of a pretty ankle The idea is all we
want.
We consider this the Fast Age ;,
horses, women, young men, clocks and
lent are all last. Whrn w 90 to rest,
we even max our doors fast That's
the bo4ri they hinge on
Let US cotrast an antediuvian wi h
an American the former represents
the slow man, the other the fast man
[ took Methuzaieh ne hundred years
TO g through the business of HI, life
we do it in fifty We doubt if Me-
tha,aleh cut his teeth till he vas nine-
tx. He very likely spun his top and
flew his kite in his hundreth year.
F4ncy Methusalsh's father telling
his son in his two hundred and twenti-
eth year that such boys had no right
to vote; or his mamma or old maiden
aunt of eight INJURIES spanking him
and putting him abed in his third cea-
tu for making an April fool Of his
grandmother. or hiding his grandia-
thcr's wig in gooseberry bush
VIII would a fashionable spinster
of those tim confess to be an old
mail Did the CT, atures live il hope
lill their seven hundred and SEVENTEEN
year' Even that would leave them
two hundred years of welded bliss. As
our young friend Savage would say,
anniversaries came round only once in
twenty years. While we are at this
tender period Of antediluvian life, We
may wonder what was the average
length Of decent courtship. How
long must one of that elongated age
know his lair enslaver before he pops
ped the question Would sixty yeas
be considered indelicate haste after the
first intrduction, to breathe 'spft-saw
der in a 'downeAster' Chaldean beau
tvs ear. Would an antediuvlan
KITE Palmyra think Frank presump-
tuous, if, having only been boarding. in
the same house for century, he asked
her to 90 with him to see the Matilda
Heron of those days perform her great
part of Eve in the tragedy of A am,
written by so ne F,tzgammon O'B5un-
Ger for Niblo'S Garden Tor Eden)
Like Ros Dar'le, We only ask these
things foi reformation.
1t may be all very we'll for the croak
ers to say that the comet of June Is to
knock US all into smithe eens, waIch he
witty Gary says means INTO natl II
of smsths-but we are convinced that
We New Workers, oniy live i. the CON-
mencemen, of the alphabet of the world
aud that our great Democratic organ
mas yet to play tune to which the
whole human race will YET d,nce-ty-
rants to pay the piper! There is nc
symptom OF d cay in nature. Genera
tions pass away from the earth as leaves
from tree. But as old Chaucer says
| Out of old field. come neo crops
! We hardly know what We have
Like "a young heir, half educated, We
come into the possession of great es-
tate the potentlalities of wealth are
at present hidden
i The earth is an Aladdin's lamp I,
American industry RIB it, end pal
aces, inf lit-ly exceeding the dream
, of an opium eater, will spring up IL