New Orleans daily crescent. [volume] ([New Orleans, La.]) 1851-1866, 1857-04-06
Clippings.

Clippings.
LAw.-In chancery suit, one of the counsel de-
serihng the boundaries Of his clients land, said in
showing the plan of it:
eve lie on this side, my lord.'
The opposite counsel then said "And we lie on
that side.'
The chancellor, with good humored grin, OBJ
served: f..
"If you lie on both sides, whom will ye have me
believer
FASHIONABLE CoNToRT1oNs.-A fascinating sight
it is to see young lady walking though flea was
biting her each hip. She is almost match for the
dandy who steps like an openwinged turkey travel
ing over bed of hot ashes.
A travelling English Marquis, in his course of the
grand tour of Europe, arrived at Berlin, weary of
lonizing When he went to rest at the close of his
first days residence he exclaimed:
"Thank heaven, have come to place where there
is nothing worth seeing"
Preeept is instruction written in the sand-the tide
flows over it and the record is gone. Example is en-
craven on the rock and the lesson is soon lost.
A writer in Blackwood says that every man who is
not monster, mathematician or mad philosopher
is the slave OF some woman or other.
There is a man in Cincinnati in possession of a
powerful memory. He's employed by the Humane
Society to" remember the poor"
"sally," said fellow to girl who had red hair,
keep away from me, or you will set me aire.' No
danger of that" was the answer you are too green
to burn.'
The people Of Peru are so indolent that they open
pea-pods with an oyster-kni In driving horses
they always have two men to each quadruped-one
to hold the reins and the other to cry 'whoa!"
atour Maubourd lost his leg at the battle of Lepsc
After he had suffered amputation with the greatest
courage he saw his servant crying, or pretending to
cry, in the corner of the room. None Of your hypo
critical tears, you idle dog" said his master, you
know you are glad, for now you will have only one
boot to clean instead of two"
At Paris, a witty speech about man often makes
him better remembered than an epitaph. The learned
Mons Thibaudeau is just dead, and was on the point
of being then and there forgotten But some friend
who was with him at the last moment was recounting
pathetically the manner of his death: He seated
himself" said his friend, che turned ishead-he took
of his spectacles-and was dead" Ah,' said the
younger Dumas, who was present, " he took off his
spectacles first At least, then he was spared the
pain of seeing himself die!"
A parish clerk, having, according to custom, pub
lished the bans of matrimony between loving
couple, was followed by the minister, who gave out
the hymn commencing with these words" Mistaken
souls that dream of Heaven"
A young lady, scolding her beau for not sending
her the pair OF new shoes he promised her, writes in
postscript as follows P. S.-Them shuz ort to be
on hand q and the recollection sticks out about Il
feet.'
certain carter wholives on the north side of the
hill of GarvOck, and who is truly an eccentric charac-
ter when day driving his cart over the hill, met
the laird of = on horseback, who rudely accosted
him with: "Take the half of the road, sir" To
which the independent carter replied sharp he
had been commanded O. Stop till wun by, and yell
get it az
LIFE.-As the eye of the morning to the lark, the
shade of evening to the owl, honey to the bee
OR the carcase to the vntnre so, according to an
eminent author, is life to the heart of man. Though
bright it dazzles not though obscure it dspleaseth
not; though corrupt it forbidden not. And yet who
is he that knoweth its true value?
"My tenants are world of bother to me- said
testy landlady to her nephew.
"Quite likey ten aunts might be considered enough
to bother any one, was the reply.
"Do you know, sir, what you swallow every day of
your life? Are you aware that your food resolves
itself into twelve divisions-aqueous, mucilagnous,
amyaceous, ligneOus pectinaCeous, acid
ulous alcoholic oleaginous protenaceous and saline?
"You fatter me, madam, y said a fop, upon being
told by a lady that his hat was Il very fine one
mot at all, SIR replied she, 81 only praise the
halter had the head or face been worth notice, |
should not have thought of the hat
There is an old saw which says that "Contcnt is
the true philosophers stone. Brown says Its very
likely-fOr nobody has ever found either one OF the
other.
Is one Vi W0fLleS OF the ROulall cal
endar, and form of prayer commences with the
words 80, mihi, beatte MARITIME" which was corrup-
ted into "My eye and Betty Martin
An Engshman and a Welchman dsputing in whose
country was the best living, the Welchman said
" There is such noble housekeeping in Wales, that
have known dozen cooks employed at one wedding
dinner"
"Ah,' answered the Englishman, "every man
toasted his own cheese
Drop by drop falls into the clear wellsprng of our
youth the bitter water of experience and there is
purity.
While select party at a Boston hotel, the other
night, were drinking vine at $40 bottle on the NEXT
street the police found two families half starved and
half frozen-a contrast of civilized life Yet such is
our civilization which is trumped up at every corner.
When will men open their eyes to its talsity and rot
tenness