Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1857-01-17
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WIL H.! i 5-L q u i Y III

must have been.
ScoIding is the pepper of matrimony'
and the ladies are the pepper-boxes ! 80
says an old fogy bachelor. We would
give his name, but are afraid the peace OF
the neghborhood might be disturbed by
the noise of broom-handle.
Il is rumored that the last and greatest
curiosity Of the age has just been received
at the Museum. It is the gun with which
the question is popped. A large supply
will soon be made for the use Of bashIul
young men.
Here is brief essay on woman
AT len, a bud /; at twenty, in bloom {;
At thirty, married, if ever
At forty. mother al 6lIy, aunt
At sixty
The probability is that the old lady is
little The wuIst Of me wear.
ADVICE TO YouNc LADIES ABOUT T"
MARRY.--AiaIry man. Not pudding
headed Thing in paniaIoons, iIght boots
and embroidered shir, who sports g.
gan,ic neck tie, ihin cane, large gaIVan-
izrd watch cEain, a ring and an nc'plenI
coa,ee whn deyUurs tobacco aud talks
on the weather. and calls his father 'old
man Avoid such, they are numerous
and never do make husbands.
"Will you have a daily Sun :" said
-, pariiprIIn
"Will have daily Son. Why,yon
little scapegrace How dare you msin-
uale against lone woman from home !
| No, indeed, greSs don't have a daily
son My poor dear man used 10 com
plain awfuiIy when presented hIm
yearly son. A daily son, indeed Be-
gone, you Iiule oPs,art imp = and the
old woman called for the luykey-Iali fan,
10 keep her from s0ooning."
BIDpIyG. --"Who bids more ?" cried
The auctioneer, just at the moment as
Charles Matthew'S entered The :"om. Il
bid more," cried the wit. "And pray,
sir" said The aucIioneer. "what DO you
bid p Il bid you good night cried The
wit, and boted instauler. The place was
in a roar, for everybody knew Matthews.
Schoolmasrer--'Firsl lille boy, what
is your name =!
Little Boy--'Jule.'
Scho0lmasrer- On, no. your name is
Julius. Next lille boy, what's your
name 2
Second Boy--'Bill ious.'
Poor LIviNG.--A witty gentleman.
speaking of friend WHO was proslrated
by illness, remarked that ''he could hard
ly recover, since his constitution was all
gone" IF his constitution is all gone,
SAID bysiander, II DO not see how he
lives at all ?
Oh = responded The wag, he lives on
The bylaws !!
New ARTIcLEs.--Mrs. Matilda Mages
has fresh shinge al her shop door in
one of the Eastern cities with this an
nouncement. "Notis--I ar got sum nu
articles for sail such as krsckers, HANDLES.
kauphy, kups, sorsers and menny other
articles too numerous 10 menshun, all Gel
ling cheeP.
'Hullo. stranger you appear 10 be tra-
yelling p Yes. always travel when
on Journey Il think have seen you
some where 'Very likely. have often
been there 'Mlghi'm your name be
Cole p 1T might, buI il isn't by long
chalk Have you been long in these
parts p Never any longer than al pres
ent--five feet nine DO you get any
Thing new 2 Yes, bough, new whel-
stone this morning. Il thought SO, you
are the sharpessblade have seen on the
road
Ma said young lady to her mother,
'whst is enigrsting
'Emigrating, dear, is young lady go
ing to Australia
What is colonizing. ma ?
'Colonizing, dear. is marrying there.
and having family
Ma, | should like To emigrste and colo
nize.'
They have new way 81 haiching
chickens in the West. by wblsh single
maternal fowl is made 10 do the duty Of a
hundred. they fill a barrel with eggs,
and place hen on the bung-holr.
Don'l abuse your neighbor all week and
puI on long face ~hen you go to church
on Sunday.
To CLEAN WALL PAPgR. -Solled wall
papers may be made io lock a. yell al
most as new IN mnsl cases. by Ihe follow
ing expedient "'rske about Two qusris
of wheat bran, ne IL III bundle ~ cuaTse