Warren telegraph. [volume] (Warren, R.I.) 1857-1861, 1857-02-21
10 arttn 0tltgrapb.

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10 marttn Qtltgrapb.
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WARREN, WEDNESDAY, FEB. ls, 1867.
zOOLOGY, &c.
Tho Proyidencs Gsssvsl Advertiser has long
column Of balderdash In reply 10 our exposition Of
the ses relative tothe charge uttered by that print
against " ons Of our Warren young ladies'" 1t 10
not fog lack of malice that tho creature who con-
ducts IL fails 70 manifest any ability In his effort.
His ekf Fsssrs consists In calling us the great
est assv ~ ever yet met with in the shape Of an
editor" This shews his temper, aud his failure
mast noe b sscribed to any want Of spleen, but to
it, impotence. Any blackguard might apply the
Same epithet TO the uoblest person living, but fail
ing 10 shev The psrnency Of the application, would
only succeed in writing himself down an ass, In
stead Of being deemed wit for tho exploit. We
might more happily retort by calling him Of the 3D.
vsvissr the smae ass; or by spying tina, II is i'm
possible that he should ever meet the most asinine
an In the profcssion-but Il would not bc meet for
us 70 do 20, for he belongs to far lower order in
the SOCIOLOGICAL scale. He is not Of tho Class NAM
mslis, but Of the Glass Reptilia, and in the ovum
state was decidedly "a bad egg" The enmity Of
his race to wemankind was developeain Eden some
centuries ago, but the pristine wisdom Of the ser
psnt tribe has since undergone wofal diminution,
apd has finally become extinct in the Adrsrtiser
specimen. Naturalists affirm that reptiles are
cold-bloodcd," and hence his use of that term in
regard to"ons Of our Warren young gladies."
We were at first inclined to attribute his impo-
tence to the inclemency Of the season. poisonous
reptiles are known to be less dangerous in cold wea
ther The extraction Of their fangs, however, 10
the most reliable safeguard, ami this often
whom they inhict wounds. In this instap lady
has unfortunately been his victim but may find
some consolation in the knowledge that he is hence
forth incapable Of further mischief so that the hand
of science may hold the odious creature with impun
ty, however great the disgust which his very pres
ence must ever inspire. His malignant eyes arc
theme Of amusement, and his passionate writings
only excite ridicule.
The Adsertissv represents the TELEGRAPH as
"utterly unknown" to the people Of Providence.
Our msny readers there will note this falsehood--
the truth being that our Providence circulation is
double that of the Advertiser in Warren, though
our paper is paid for, while the Adrertiser, witha
consciousness of its worthlcssness, giren aray-
and Justly despised is it that VIC are constrained
to publish its witless farrago that readers may
if they choose, infict ON themselves the unprofta-
BILE task of its perusaL (Ssc first page.) Because
Warren in no way lends support or countenance
20 the Advertiser that filthy sheet vents it's rage in
low fngs against our town in following up lis as
sault on " one Of our Warren young ladies'" The
editor says that he does not knew the name Of the
stop to ascertain her name. He was not withheld
by the reflection that his very ignorance Of her
name threw doubt on her guilt. 1t was sufficient
that she was a lady that she was % one Of our
Wayvsn young ladies' was an extra inducement to
the assault.
The Adreytisey professes never to have seen but
two copies of the TELEGRAPH This is the mis-
fortune rather than the fault of the Adrertiser,
which is only responsible for the lack Of merit
which accounts for our neglect to comply with its
repeated offers to exchange with US. We ought,
perhaps to have been more generous in the matter,
since the influence of our constant example might
have mended the Advertisers manners in some de-
gree. As it is we glad that its low attacks on
ladies' and its other sins, are committed by print
over which it cannot be pretended that our whole
some influence has been exercised.
We fear that the combined respectabilty Of the
Press would be insufficient to elevate the Adrerti
ser to respectabilty. Where folly and malicious
dishonesty are united in the manner manifest by
comparing the annexed extracts from two consecu-
tive numbers of that paper, the case is hopeless.
In its article of the 9TH inst. the following pas
sage occurs:
"Dear deluded Editor, you did not know that
the real Simon Pure, the original story entitled
. Country Visitors or the Fourth OF July Oration,'
was written by Miss Agnes Leslie, for Geason's
Pictorial, and published in that paper July Sth,
1854. Such is the fact 1t will be found on com
parison, that the Warren young lady has given
new names to the characters, omitted some of the
dialogue, and slightly altered the rest but though
our old acquaintance disguise, it is too thin
to conceal the reu remembered features"
On the 14th inst. it holds the following language:
"The offence, If proved, would Of course justify
its exposure but it would never have been expos
ed by US, u Oor the simple reason that ,ee should
ss1er kape either Of the tales.) al had not the
brother Of the authoress Of the original tale called
at our Office; complained of the manner in which
the fruits of his sisters mental toll had been pur
loined put into our hands the papers containing
each Of the tales, and asked us IL would do her
the justice to expose the transaction"
! Was there ever more palpable self conviction
Marx the pompous air with which this Argus-eycd
custodian Of literary honesty gives chapter and
verse" of the original tale. His lynx-eyed vigi-
lance IL not asleep! No indeed! We know not
which most to sdmire-the comprehensive obser-
walton which includes everything, the incredible
memory which retains everything, or the wonder
fGl promptness which rcndors it available for ev-
erythins; 70 that no sooner il literary fraud at
tempted no matter when, whore or how, thnn, pres
tos--ths omniscisut prodigy Of the Adrertiser
transhxes the culprit whether male or female, and
inp6I6 hin or her before the astonished gaze Of
wovlI eonvulsed Nth mingled fpsr and Admiration