Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1857-02-11
2 For the Spectator. a
The Unanimous Declaration of the Colony
of Single. .3leSsedness.

The Unanimous Declaration of the Colony
of Single.Blessedness.
When in the course of human events it be-
comes necessary for the people of one colony to
dissolve The singular bonds that have hitherto
bound them to it, and to declare themselves in
dependent and free to unite with another, and
! to assume among the ranks of their fellow NOR
! tails, the united and equal station to which the
! laws OF nature and of natures God entitIe them,
decent respect to the opinions of mankind re-
quires that they should declare the causes which
| impel them to the separation from the one and
| their union to the other. We hold these truths
to be sef-evident: that all men are born single;
that they are endowed by their Maker with GER
tain inaenable rights; that among them are
| life, liberty and the pursuit of conjugal happi-
ness; that to secure these rights institutions are
established among men, deriving their powers
from the consent of the governed that when
ever any form of government becomes destruc-
tive of these ends it is the right of the people to
alter or abolish it, and to institute new or an
other government, laying its foundations on such
principles and dividing its powers in such way
as shall 70 them seem most likely to effect their
independence and happiness. Prudence indeed
will dictate that relations long established should
not be changed for light and transient causes
and accordingly all experience hath shown that
people are more disposed to suffer while evils
are sufferable, than to right themselves by abol
ishing forms or habits to which they are long
accustomed. But when long train of abuses
and usurpations pursuing invariably the same
object, evnces a design to reduce the people un-
der absolute despondeDcy ard dependency, it is
their right, it is their duty, to throw off such
government and provide new guards and means
for their future security and welfare. Such has
been the patient sufferance of the people of this
colony, and such is now the necessity which
constrans them to alter their former relations
and government. The history of the present
king of -blessedness is history of repeat
ed privatons and depredatlons, all having in di-
rect object the establishment Of hopeless and
heartless tyranny over the good people Of the
colony. To prove this let facts be submitted to
candid world. He has steadily refused his as
| sent to regulations necessary and Indispensable
for the peopng of our colony, for that purpose
obstructing the laws for naturalizing non-resi-
dents; refusing to pass Others to encourage or
invite their emigration thither, and so exposing
our colony to all the dangers of invasion from
without and loneliness within. He has repeat
edly dissolved representative bodies, assembled
for the purpose of adopting measures to change
somewhat our sublunary relations so as to ex-
tend the range of our affections and enlarge the
sphere of our usefulness and prosperity. He
has refused long time after such dissolutions to
allow others to be assembled, whereby seed-time
and harvest have gradually wasted away and
left our colony subject to all the horrors of de-
population. lie has obstructed the administra-
ton of affairs by so desponding the minds and
so hardening the hearts of our people as to turn
each away from tie remedies of hymenial laws,
to find redress and relief in the gloomy shades of
listess Indifference and lonely retirement. He
has erected unnnmbered and unnecessary offices
within our borders, and sent hther swarms Of
criticisers and revilers whose sole object is to
shorten our lives and to seize upon our fortunes
He has excited extensive domestic troubles and
hippo amongst us, and has endeavored to bring
on tie inhabitants of our frontiers inerciless
hordes of ''old maids" whose known rule of
warfare is an undistinguished expulsion of all
ages and sexes found amongst Us unmarried
In short he has so mismanaged the entire affairs
of our people and so neglected their united in
terests as to cause the mildew of despair to hang
like the pail Of death over our whole communi-
ty, and therefore leaves Us destitute OF all means
and all hopes for the future prosperity and well
fare of ourselves or Onr posterity We have ap-
pealed to his native sense of justice and magma
nimity, and we have conjured him by the ties
of our common kindred, to discontinue these
multiplied injuries, which would inevitably in
terrupt our long-standing connexions and inter-
course. Indeed in every stage of these oppres-
sions we have petitioned for redress in the most
obsequous terms our petitions have been only
answered by repeated injuries. And finding our
present ruler deaf to the voice OF justice, con-
sanguinity and humanity, we acquiesce in the
necessity which announces our separation, and
hold him, as the rest of mankind in union,
friends; in disunion, enemies We, therefore, the
representatives of the lone colony of single
blessedness in solemn convention assembled, APP
pealing to the supreme tribunal of the Fair Ones
for the rectltude of our intentions, do in the
name and by the authority of the good people
of this colony, solemnly publish and declare that
this lone colony is and of right ought to be free
and Independent of its former and present imbe-
cile and unfortunate rulers, and that all connec-
ton between them is and ought to be dissolved; {;
and that as free and independent colony it has
full power to lay siege upon all possible means
of emigration, conclude terms of peace, contract
matrimonial or other alliances, and to do all
other acts and things which independent colo
nes or States may of right do.
And for the support of this declaration with
firm reliance upon the appreciation Of the Fair
ones we mutually pledge to each other our lives,
our fortunes, and our sacred honor
Signed by order and in behalf of the Conven.
tion. JAMES lIcKEMsNoovER, PreSident
N. B.-What say you, Oh ye bachelors of
Augusta, to an immediate and hearty concur
renee in and adoption Of this great and sublime
enterprise whereby you, in common with the
,bob;t ~ t1,i. hon onlnny ,nav
he enabled to shake off the dust of celibacy that
has already clung too long to your souls, (soles)
and migrate at once to that far better and more
blssfu state, where Adam, though in Paradise,
could not be content till from his side rib was
took and into woman bent? j. II.
~ In view of the very great urgency and
Importance of the foregoing declaration, the
True American and the Vindicator will please
copy. .. II.
How Peter and Paul Looked.
1t is allowable to mention the general notion
of the forms and features of the two apostles