Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1857-06-11
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mo Wdu EOtny suouiu 1oJ al iii-"oAN
gainst the Doctors.
The end Of all argument-''You're an
other"
"A married woman lasts longer than
single one, because she is husbanded.
The man who always drives a good bar
gain, has lately procured new whip.
-"Too much of good thing" as the cat
said when she fell into the milk pail.
To cure deafness, tell a man you've come
to pay him money. 1t beats acoustic oil all
hollow.
Trees with double flowers are, too often,
the emblem of friendship-there is plenty OF
blossom, but no fruit.
The pebbles in our path weary us, and
make us sorefoot, more than the rocks that
only require bold effort to surmount
- The report that Ex-President Pierce
had purchased farm in New Hampshire, is
pronounced incorrect by the Boston Post.
Why is watchdog larger at night than
he is in the morning? Because he is let out
at night and taken up in the morning ..
Why are potatoes and corn like certain
sinners Of old? Because, having eyes they
see not, and having ears they hear not.
"A popular writer, speaking of the pro-
posed oceanic telegraph, wonders whether the
news transmitted through salt water would
be fresh.
There is an inscription on tombstone
at La Pointe, Lake Superior, which reads
as follows: "John Smith, accidentally shot
as mark of affection by his brother"
- The dearer oats become the more horses
are licked. Dobbs says shilling raw hide
will give US much power to his grey mare as
twenty-five cents worth of corn. Dobbs IS
becoming philosopher.
AN honest Hibernian, in recommending
COW, said she would give milk year after
year, without having calves; "because, u
said he, 'it runs in the brade; for she came
of COW that never had calf"
1t is conceded on all hands that ladies
are fair, and that chickens are .to'ct-that
the money market and men that drink too
much are tight-that morals are (oose, and
morning gowns too. Not word about hoops.
Never seek too much to be admired
The reserved are more frequently sought at
ter than those who put themselves forward
There is fragrance in modesty, like the
perfume of the violet, which betrays the hi
ding-place of worth and beauty.
-"What have you done to further human
progress said sententious philosopher one
day to Jenkins jenkins reply was clear
and decisive: "Pve produced seven boys and
two girls, sir" The philosopher departed,
and for the first time in his life, thought.
"A bill has been introduced into the Sen
ate of New Jersey, which provides that the
wife of drunkard, on proving him such be-
fore justice of the peace, may become entl-
tied to hold her own wages and those OF her
minor children, until he reforms.
"A New York editor thinks, from the
manner shirts are made in that city, there
ought to be an "inspector of sc'cers.' The
editor went to the expense of new shirt,
the other day, and found himself, when he
awoke in the morning, crawling out between
two of the shortest stitches.
Winchell tells story Of dog which
undertook to jump across we'll in two
jumps. There are great many people just
like that dog-folks who think they can
Jump across we'll in two jumps. They that
undertake it usually "bring up down ln the
water"
-"Will you give me them pennies now p
said big nevsboy to little one, after CIV
ing him a severe humping "No, WON'T
"Then I'll give you another pounding. -
"Pound away. Me and DR.. Franklin agrees.
DR.. Franklin says, take care of the pence,
and the pounds will take care of themselves. "
A company of miners at Uniontown,
Ell Dorado county, while sinking shaft re-
Gently, found wooden box some 20 feet un-
der the surface, which contained dozen
strings of beads, bunch of keys, and a
much rusted sword, on the blade of which
was inscribed 80. B. S. G., 1703."
A little urchin, of some two or three years
being little distance from the house, was
suddenly startled by clap of thunder. He
was much frightened and made rapid tracks
for the house. But as the shed was the near
est shelter, he entered it, and cast defiant
look at the clouds, exclaimed: "Th"nder a.
aeay, am mder the shed"
He who is passionate and hasty is gene
rally honest 1t is your mean, sour-plum,
assembling hypocrite of whom you should
beware. There is no deception in bull
dog; it is only the cur that sneaks up and
bites you when your back is turned. Easily
mad, easily pleased, signs of industry and
energy.
AN Irishman, who was troubled with
the toothache, determined to have an old
offender extracted but there being no den
tist near he resolved to do the job himself:
whereupon he filled the excavation with
powder, but being afraid to touch it off, he
put a slow.match to it, lighted it, and then
run to get out of the way.
"A lady once remarked to Charles Lamb
that she did not care for him three skips of a
louise. The witty gentleman at once took a
card and wrote the following lines and hand