Marshall County Democrat. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1855-1859, 1857-12-10
q blnos 00lise T. Otberuise.

and the story John Phenlx used TO tell of
its effects individually illustrated. Be-
fore the fright, frugal old Dutchman, by
dint of hard labor had accumulated some
$500, which he cautiously deposited in
one of the banking houses for safe keeping.
Rumors soon came to his ears that they
were not very safe--some said they had
broke The next morning he trembling
ly drew his balance, and put the shining
gold in his pocket. He then breathed de-
cidedy freer, but here was dilemma
What should he do with it? He did not
dare to keep it in his shanty,--and as for
carrying it about with him, it was too pre-
cious heavy. So, after seepless night or
two, in constant apprehension of burglars,
be deposited it in another banking Office
Another day--the panic increased-there
was a run on his bank--he pushed in
drew his gold, and telt easier once more.
Another anxious day and night for his
'monish,' and again it was deposited in a
safe bank This time he felt safer than
before, and went quietly to his work. But
the panic reached that bank, and anxious
depositors beseiged its doors Mynheer
heard the news, and put post-haste, book
in hand, for the scene Of aciion--iammed
in with the crowd; drew his gold, new and
bright; put it in his corduroys. and was
happy once more; but here was the dilem-
ma again, where to put it. He had gone
pretty much the rounds of the banks, and
having had such narrow escapes, could not
trust them any more. He sat down on
curb-stone and soliloquised thus: Il put
mine monish in Won pank. ven he preak; L
put him in de oder pank, ven he preak too;
| draw him out; can no keep him TO home;
| put him in dis pank, now dis one preak;
vat tie tuyvel shall do? take Him home
and sow him up in my frow's petticoat; if
she preaks, preaks her head
RIA lawyer, insuAicien;ly prepared,
was anxious to have the case postponed for
a few days, that he night have further time
Unfortunately, there was great press of
business, and he knew that his motion
would be overruled unless some extraordi-
nary reason could be alleged. Rising with
his handkerchief to his face, he addressed
the Judge in the accents of great apparent
emotion: May 1t please your honor,
have just been informed that my mother is
at the point Of death. Ny emotions. are too
great for me TO proceed in this case. |
move that II be post poned until the day af-
ter tomorrow AT this moment the shrill
voice of his mother was heard issuiug fom
the gallery: 'Ichabod. how often have L
whipped you for your lying!'
A practical joke was once attempted to
be played off on Mr.. Erskine, as he went
one day to Westminster Hall, with his bag
cramrned full of briefs. Some waggish
barristers hired Jews boy to go up and
ask Eim if lie had any ole elo'' to sell?
No, you little Hebrew imp exclaimed
the indignant counsellor, they are all new
suits
EeLovely Woman-An article manu-
factured by miliners and dressmakers;
'Who wants but little on her head
But much below to make her SPREAD
~-The love of little girl is a sweet
thing--says an exchange But the love Of
big one is sweeter---says another
wThe man who stole an hours rest.
is on trial for grand larceny.
~'Sal,' said one gal to another, Il am
so glad have no beau now why so?'
asked the other. oh. cause / can eat as
many onions as please
@'Sambo, why am your legs like an
organ grinder?'
Dun no; glib it up
"Case dey carry and exhibit monkey
about de Streets
H-sCall that kind mani said an actor
of an absent acquaintance--'a man who IS
away from his family and never sends them
farthing! call that kindness?'
'Uuremitiing kindness, Douglas Jerrold
chuckled.
NMy dear boy said kind.hearted
country. school mistress 10 an unusually
promising scholar, whose quarter was about
up,--'My dear boy, does your father IN
tend that you should tread the intricate and
thorny path of the professions. the straight
and narrow way of the ministry. or revel
amid the howery fields OF literalure?'
No ma'am,' replied the juvenile prodi-
gy, dad says he's going to set me to work
IN the tater pateh.'
HA young wife demonstrated wi h her
husband, dissipated spendthrift, on his
conduct: MY love- said he, Il am only
like the Prodigal Son--I shall reform by
and by And / will be like Prodigal Son.
too" she replied, for / will arise and go
to my father and accordingly off che went.
HA New York banker asked young
lady of that city. what kind of money she
liked best
'Matri-money,' she replied.
what interest does it bring?'. asked the
banker.
III properly invested, it will double the
original stock every two years. she an
swered
He concluded she was match for him,
| but the rest is secret.