San Andreas independent., 1857-10-17
How Sut. Lovengood Exploded.
MS EXPERIENCE WITH SODA POWDERS.

MS EXPERIENCE WITH SODA POWDERS.
Sut related the story thus: "George,
did you ever see Sicily Bnrns? Her dad
lives at the Ratil Smack Springs, nigh to
the Georgy line"
eyes, very handsome girl
"Handsome that wurd don't kiver the
case; it sounds like calm good whisky
water, when ye ar at Big Spring and the
still house ten miles off, an hit a rainin' !,
and yer flask only half full. She shows
amung wimen like sunAower as COM
pared to dog fennel an smart weed and
jimsen. But thar aint no use trying to
describe her. Couldn't crawl thru a
whisky barrel with both heds stove out,
if it wur hilt study for her, an good foot
holt at that. She weighs just two hun
dred and twenty-six pounds, and stands
sixteen hands high. She never got in
an arm cheer in her life, an you can lock
the top hoop of churn ur a big dog col
lar round her waist. I've seed her Jump
over the top of split-bottom cheer, an
never show her ankils or ketch her dress
onto it. She kerried devil enuf about
her tu fill four hoss waggin bed, with a
skin as white as the inside of frogstool,
cheeks an lips as red as pearche's gills in
dogwood blossom time; an sich a smile
Oh, l be drafted if its eny use talkin.-
That gal cud make me murder old Bishop
Soul hissel, or kill mann, not to speak Of
dad, eff she jist limited that she wanted
sich thing dun.
"Well, to tell it at onst, she war gal
all over, from the pint of her toe nails to
the longest har on the hiest knob ov hel
hed-gal all the time, everywherc-and
that of the excitingest kind. Ov course
leaned up to her as close as [ dar tu, an
In spite of long legs, appetite fur whisky,
my shurt scrape, and dad actin hoss, she
sorter leaned to me, an l was beginning
to think | wur jist the greatest and COM
fortablist man on yearth, not excepting
Old Buck or Brigham Young, with all
his radil cullered, wrinkled wfmmin, era
dels full of babies, an his Big Salt Lake
thrown in. Well, wun day cusssd, de-
ceivin, palaverin, stinkin yankee pedlar,
all jack-knife an jaw, cum to ole man
Burnses, with load ov apple parins,
callicker, ribbins, jewsharps, and s-o-d-y
powders. Now, mind, I'd never hern
tell ov that truck afore, an | be burned
eff don't want it to be the last-wus nor
rifle powder-wus nor perkussion-thrce
times as smart, and hurts wus, heap wus
Durn him. Durn all yankee pedlars, and
durn their principals and practisis, | say
wish | had all the sody powder they
ever made in his cussed paunch, an a slow
match fixed tn him, an | had chunk ov
fire, the feller what found a peace ov him
big enuf tn feed cock-roach ought to be
king of the Sultan's harem thousand
years for his luck They aint human, nc
how. The mint at Filadelfy is thar heav-
en-; they think their God eats half dimes
fur breakfast, hashcs the leavins fur din
ner, and swallers cent an dried appil
for supper, sets on stampin machine fur
throne, sleaps on a crib full of half dol
lars, and measures men like money, by
count. They haint one ov them got a
soal but what kud dance a jig in kab-
bage seed, an leave room fur the fiddler
"Well, Sicily she bought tin box OF
the sody from him, and hid it away from
her folks, savin' it for me. / happen
to pass next day, of cours / stopped to
enjoy look at the tempter, an she was
mighty luvin tn me, put wun arm round
| v,oat- on1 Of xx,bo,. X1o
cingle goes roun hoss, TUX the 'inturn
on me with her left foot, and gin me a
kiss. Says she, Sutty, love, I've got
sumthin for ye, a new sensashun' [
believed it, for begun to feel it already.
My toes felt like little minners wur nib
blin at 'em-a cold streak run up and
down my back like lizard with tur-
key hen after him in sittin time, my hart
felt hot and unsatisfed like, and then I'd
a cut ole Souls throat, eff shed a limited
at needsissity for such an operaehun.-
Then she pored ten or twelve blue papers
of the sody into big tumbler, and about
the same number of white ones into luther
tumbler, and put nj onto pint of water
on both of 'em, and stirred 'em up with a
case knife, lookin as solemn as an ole
jackas in snow storm when the fodder's
all gin out She hilt one while she told
me to drink tother. / swallowed it at
one run-tasted salty like, | thot it wur
part of the sensashun. But wur mis-
taken, all of the cussed Internal senfashun
wur to come, and it wurn't long at it,
hoss, you'd believe me. Then she give
me luther tumbler, and | sent it after the
fust, race hoss fashion.
Gin about one moment an half thot
I'd swallered thrashen machene in full
blast, ur cupple of bull dogs, an they'd
set inter ftin. l seed that wur cotched
agin-same family dispersition to make
cussed fools of themselves evry chance
SO ! broke for my hoss. / stole look
back, and there Sicily lay on her back in
the porch, screamin with latin, her
heels up in the air, a kicken of 'em to-
gether like she wur tryin to kick her
slippers off. But / had no time to look
then, and thar wur road of foam from
the hous to the boss tn fut wide and four
inches deep-lookin like it had been a
1,,c.~ hIl1n