Raftsman's journal. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1854-1948, 1857-12-23
a HARP SERMON.

Shell pftdCucl, VI N'iOh' W. ~
heern before, and Inow appear here to e1pound
the Scriptures and pint out the narrow way
which leads from vain world to the streets |
of the Jerusalem, and my text, which l shall
choose for the occasion, is in the leds of the |
Bible somewhere between the I'd Chronicles |
and the last chapter of Timothy Titus, and
when you find it you will find tin these words :;
sAnd they shall gnaw file and fee unto
the mountains of Hepsidam, whar the lion
roareth and the wang-doodle mourneth for its
first born.''
Now, my brethring, as 1 have before told
you, am an uneddicated man, and know moth
ing about grammer talk and collidgc highfaiu-
tin: but I'm plain unlarnt preacher OF the
Gospil what's been fore-ordained, and called
to expound Scriptcrs to dyin world, an pre-
par a preverse genaration for the day OF rath
for esthey shall gnaw file and flee unto the
mountains of Hepsidam, whar the lion roareth
and the whang-doodie mourncth for its first
born.'
Ny beluv-ed brethIing, the text says s'they
shall gnaw filc.'' 1t don't say they may, but
they shall. And now there's more'n one kind
of file. There's the handsaw file, rat-tail file
and double file and profile but the kind of file
| spoken of here isn't one of them kind neither;
because its igger of speech, my brethring,
and il means going it alone, getting ukered;
| for ssthcy shall gnaw upon file and fee unto
the mountains of Hepsidam, whar the lion
roareth and the whang- doodle mourneth for
| its first born.''
| And now there be some here with fine close
| on their backs, brass rings on their fingers and
lard on thar har, what goes it while they re
young and thar be brother here what, as
long as their constitutions and forty cent
whisky last, goes it blind and thar be sisters
here what, when they get sixteen years old cut
their tller ropes and goes it with a rush; but
say my dear brethring, take care you don't
find when Gabriel blows his last trump, that
you've all went it alone and got ukered for
ssthey shall gnaw a file and flee unto the noun
, tains of Hepsidam, where the lion roareth and
the whang doodle mourneth for its first born. =
And, my brethren, there's more dams be-
sides Hepsidam, Amsterdam, mill dam, and
don 't-care-a -d-m-the last of which, my dear
brethring, is the worst of all, and reminds me
of circumstance 1 once knew in the state of
Ulenoy. Thar was man what built mill on
the east fork of Agur creek, and it ground a
site of grain, but the man what built it was a
miserable sinner, and never guv nothing to
the church and my brethring, one night thar
come dreadful storm of rain and wind, and
the foudations of the great deep was broken mp,
, and the waters rushed down and swept that
|. mans mill dam into kingdom come, and 10 and
behold, in the morning when he got up, he
found he was not worth DIN. Now, my
|, young brethring, when the storms of tempta-
ton overtake ye, take care you don't fall from
l grace and become like the mans mill-not
5 worth a DIN, ssfor they shall gnaw file and
flee unto the mountains, of Hepsidam, whar
, the lion roareth and the wang-doodle mourn
eth for its first born
Whar the lion roareth and the wang-doodle
mourneth for its first born.'' This part of the
text, my brethren is another fgger of speech
and isn't to be taken as it says. 1t dom
mean the bowling wilderness, whar John The
hard shell Baptist was fed on locusts and wilc
asses, but it means, my brethring, the city o
New Orleans, the mother of harlots and o
hard Iots-whar corn is worth six bits bushe
: one day and nary red the next; whar niger
o are as thick as black bugs in spoiled baco1
!
go skitting about the street like wcasels in
r barn yard-whar they have cream colored hor
v ses, gilded carriages, marble saloons wit
+ brandy and sugar in 'em-whar honest me-
l are scarcer than hens teeth and strang
: woman once tux in your beloved preacher an
:. bamboozled him out of two hundred and TWEEN
l. ty-seven dollars in the twinkling of sheep
o | tail. but She can't do it again. Halelulah
c for ssthey shall gnaw file and fee unto tn
a mountains of Hepsidam whar the lion roaret
/ and the wang doodle mourneth for its frs
>, born.o
Ny brethring, am captain of that fat boa
d you see tied up thar, and I've got aboard c
: her flour, bacon and oats, and potatoes and az
y pies, and as good Monongehaly whisky as yo
e ever drank and I'm mighty apt to git bi
h price for it all. But what, oh my brethrinI
1t would it all be worth if hadn't rilidgin
l. Thar's nothing like rilidgin, my brethring. 1t
m better nor silver and gold jimcracks, and yo
l. can no more get to Heaven without it than
ce Jay bird can fly without tail.
Thank the Lord, I'm an uneddicated mar
my brethring, but I've searched the scriptef
from Dan to Burshebee, and found old Alo
u right side up. and hard shell rilidgln is tn
Is havt of r;,;dpips. And its not like them wb;
g exnocts to git into Heaven by holerin hellfire
nor like the UniversalistS what gifts upon th
g broad gage and goes the whole hog nor ii
brethring what takes each other by the seats
ne the trowsers and tries to lift their selves int
- Heaven, nor the Catholics what buys thl
az tickets from their preeSts-but it NAV be ike