Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1857-01-01

- w $50 ~ Mlucuf
Are objects Of sdmiratIon-
But hoops as part o; woman's baggage
Are ike the whoops Of 3 painted savage
A vile Ab0ninAtton-
Hoops make useful, pretty toys
Por active little girls and boys;
But hoops on woman, gentle,
Are things TO sheer at and to scod.
And Ike the whoOp Of a wh0oping cough,
Neither useful nor ornamental.
For while dear woman bones her sklrts.
And with = skeleton naunis and nirts,
She has SO much to carry,
Nan finds II hard with her TO talk.
And harder stil 10 sit or walk,
But hardest Of all to marry.
For when a smltten wretch has seen,
Among the lost In crinoline,
The one his heart holds desrer,
OH what chill 20 ardent passion,
To feel that, thro' this hollow fashion,
Henever can be neareri
That instead OF timidly drawing near,
And pouring into the thrilling ear
The food OF his souls devotion,
Re must stand and yellow Ia thunder tones,
Across 3 halt acre OF skirts and bones,
ASH hAilins 3 shipo the ocean,
And II, BY chance, the maid ofhis choice
Shall family hear her lovers voice,
And smile her eondescension-
Why he captures a mass OF hoops aud rings,
Skeletons, bones, aud other things
Too horrible 10 mention.
Thus lovely wsmsn hoops to folly.
And drives poor man 10 melancholy,
BY her great frigid zones;
Then LEI her hear q warning voice,
Between the hoops and hopes make choice,
And give the dogs her bones.
Some Of the Inconvenience of hoops not vet
enumerated, are thus presented in a recent num-
Der Of the London Paneh:
Prom our Pal-lal Correspondent amongst the superior
elSssesl
ACCIDENT IN HIGH LIFE--0E Tuesday last
a lady of title, whose name has hitherto been
bat a nrrNAnnA aa~raF rrhsl.N -
the grand staircase of Switzerland House, 10
pay the amaible Duchess a visit, neglected, we
are sorry to state, o take the customary precau-
ton OF walking up sideways. The Consequence
Of her recklessness (Which, it is to be hoped,
will serve as a warning to other ladies,) was,
that her dress, which sc on la mode, was fully
twice as broad as it was long, became so CON-
pletely wedged in between the banisters and
the wall, that it was impossible for her to move
either one way or the other.
Her ladyship's position was not one Of the
most agreeable in the world. 1t was, in fact,
as alarming as it was awkward; for it was not
a pins point more practicable for her to ad-
vance, than it was to retreat. There she re-
manned for some considerable period, perfectly
immoveable in body, though not unInoved in
temper ; and every minute of tina prolonged
agony will probably be recollected by the fair
prisoner of crinoline until the last of her life,
when she throws off The 4" mortal coil {" of hoops
and hencoOped petticoats. Finding at last, her
efforts to release herself from her ridiculous
immurement perfectly Intellectual, the question
naturally arose as TO what had best be done.
Were the banisters to be avn away; or was a
hole TO be eXcavated in the wall, sufficiently
large to describe a circle in which her ladyship
could with safety turn round and slide off No,
out Of respect to the Duchess, it was resolved
By a council Of elderly ladies, held on the land
ing, that it was better thai the dress should be
cut away. Accordingly, half a dozen young
milliners were fetched from Madame de Jupon's
establishment in the neighborhood, and, with
the help Of large scissors and garden shears,
they set to work in earnest, ia order TO clear
the thoroughfare. During the operation, which
was witnessed III the most heartless silenceiby
a large crowd of European nobility, that, owing
to the passing impeachment, had gathered behind,
her ladyship was supported by burnt feathers
being applied Under her acduiliDe nose, and
Jumps of sugar dipped in eau-ie-cOlogne being
dropped into her mouth. However, owing to
the distance caused by the circumference OF
her dress, these had to be inserted between a
pair of tongs (of the brightest STEEL ard il
was only by extending the torgs at arms length
that the restoratives could be introduced near
enough to reach her exhausted person.
After severe labor, and the sacrifice of seye-
raj yards of the most expensive moire ANTIQUE,
Madame dc Jupon's assistants (who, if they
had been female nsvigators, could not have
worked with greater zeal or haTdihood) sue
ceeded in eXtrieating the unfortunate lady from
her distressing dilemma Of solitary confinement.
The difficulties they encountered in cutting
through the innumersble strata of silk, whale
bone, guimpure, foundation muslin, gauZe, stiff
ening, calico, flannel, caoutchouc, and crino-
line, would, we are told, if minutely related,
send a thrill through the bosom of the ~stoutest
engineerl The lady, considerably curtailed OF
her fair proportions, was carried home, more
dead than alive, in a sedan chair. The ruins
of the dress were removed in a cart. The
staircase is TO be enlarged.
We do not know how we can close more az
propriately these selections from the literature
of skirts than with the following ghostly in
provement of the theme, /" By a Wretch -
THE SKELETON Of C%RINOLINE.
LINES SENT TO a YOUNG LADY, TOGETHER WITH A
JUPoE SQUELETTE.
Think, this present when thou weaTest,
Pal, Ia, la
Not on ne-if Aughi thou csrest
For the giver, lady faiEest.
Lal. Ia, lat
Think Of what thou Ia 4 about thee,
To expand thee and spread out thee,
There'sa skeleton without thee,
Ha, ha, hal
Think Of this when thou art dancing,
Fal, la, lal
VITA some trider, him enhancing,
Where the chandeliers are glaRcing.
La, IA, lai
Think, too, while soft gaIiants spin thee
Siken yarns, in hope l. win thee,
There's II skeleton within thee,
Ha, Ia, hal
Then this gift, for all its ~lightness,
Fal, la, la
Warn thse well, arrayed in brightness,
MOTTO lace With too much tightness,
La, la, lat
That thy waist may be a wonder,
Not 70 squeeE- IL half asunder,
Crushing ~ the bones hereunder.
Ia, ha, hal
Whilst this garment, wide OF measure,