Delaware weekly Republican. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1841-188?, 1857-12-31

mand out west; ankee writing from tnat
section to his father, says :--fs Suppose yen
get our girls some new teeth and send them
4 out" t4s
"Can you tell me, Billy, how it is that chan
| ticler always keeps his feathers SO sleek and
smooth ~ HNo." g Well, [ will tell yea.
He always carrys his comb with him."
A man who can havehis corns mashed With
out grumbling, is undoubtedly possessed Of q
tolerably good disposition. One man being
| once at a political meeting said in pleasant
manner to a big burly fellow who was standing
upon his toe
"My dear sir, are you a miller7"
. No, sir; why do you ask 2"
g Why, sir, the fact is, / thought yeu was
miller, and very honest one, too, because
you have been grinding my corns this half
hour without taking toll.'s
Well, Bob, how are you ~ said dashing
blade to poverty-struck poetaster.
+" "Why,I have been troubled great deal
with the rheumatism lately"
&c And how is your wifo ~
aShe's very rheumatic too"
J" And how is little Dicky 2"
nI think he has got touch of the family
complaints think he is a little rheumatic,
too.''
Dear me, well, will call Upon you in
day or two, and see how you are where do
| you lOuBo ~
g am almost ashamed to ask you to our
lodgings, for that is room-etfic tool i"
| M
When General Lee was a prisoner at Al
bany, he dined with an Irishman. Before en-
tering upon the wine, the general remarked
to his host, that after drinking, he was very
apt TO abuse Irishmen--for which he hoped
his host would excuse him in advance.
"By my sowl, general, will do that" said
his host, sc If you will excuse a trihi ng fault
which have myself 1t is this--wheniver
hear a man abusing ould ireland, have sad
fault Of cracking bis ssonce with my shsi
lalah.'
The general was civil during the who le eve
ming.
AT a private party, an extra maid was
engaged by the hostess, to assist the &c regu-
lar'' in passing round the cakes and iee-cream.
The extra to whom this sort of thing was quite
new, got rather excited, and hustled to and
fro with Considerable more energy than grace;
when about retiring, after going the round of
one room, she suddenly stopped, and pointing
to portion of the company in another room,
innocenty inquired OF the &c REGULAR" loud
enough for the whole company to hear, " Hey
ye fed them over there 2" She disappeared
down stairs amidst burst of laughter SO loud
that it must have troubled her sleep for
fortnight.
oIluHIIf QUA inuu was OnCb I6ldun&
story OF being on locomotive taat struck .
COW standing on the track, and threw her sew
eral rods into the air where she aiighted upon
her feet, with her head towards the train, and
strange to tell, she wasn't hurt mite.
sBut dida't she lock scared7" inquired a
listener.
Well, don't know whether she was or
not scared, but she looked a good deal dis
couraged., Haa
Or DOMESTIC METEoRoLoGY, we have re-
port thus SEA gentle .nan lately took the fol-
lowing meteorological journal Of his wiie's
temper Monday, rather cloudy; in the at
ternoon, rainy. Tuesday, vaporish bright
ened up little towards evening. Wednesday,
changeable, gloomy, inclined to rain. Thurs
day, high wind, and some peals of thunder
Friday, fair in the mornings; varis BILE till after
neon; cloudy all night. Saturday, gentle
breeze, hazy, a thick Jog, and few flashes of
lightning. Sunday, tempestuous and rainy;
towards evening somewhat calmer."
A CLAN AT Hon TIDE.--The trite saying
I" happy as a clam at high tide," has been i'll
lustrated in Baltimore. A few days since
person sc of gentlemanly appearance visited
the telegraph office, and sent a message to
Richmond, Va, as follows
"Friehd Jones--I am here, on a zephyr,
and as happy as a aclam at high tide"
= The zephyr paid for his message with
change from the. OPERATOR Wnf, u fettS 2f
ter, felt about as happy as a clam can be
supposed TO feel when there is no tide at all.
UsrAsoLE IT. The Knickerbocker pub
lishes the following interesting epigrsms -
HIM LIE
Two grand-mothers with their two grand
daughters,
Two husbands with their two wives,
Two fathers with their two daughtels,,
Two mothers with their two sons,
Two maidens with their two mothers,
Two sisters with their two brothers,
Yet but six corpse in all lie buried here.
All born legitimate, and from incest clear"
Who of oEr readers can unravel the intri-
cate tangle And while they are about II, let
them also answer this. I" Two widowers (who
are not related) marry each others daughters,
what relation will their children be to each
other
. PRDr.--Everybody who knows Maj. Jones,
is aware that he carries precious sight more
modesfy of a peculiar sort snder his hat than
money in his port-mon
A short time since a highwaymen undertook
to rob Major Jones. He met Jones in piece
of woods over in Jersey. He asked Jones fer
his pocket book. Jones refused to yield,-
Highwaymen then took Jones by the neck,
and undertook to /" choke him down" Jones
made fight and kept it up half an hour. At the
expiration of that time Jones caved, and the
highwaymen commenced riding his pockets
The contents were l8 cents.