, 1857-02-06
ASan Francisco AuctiOneer.

Inc reporter OF the San Francisco News
furnishes that paper with the following re-
port of a speech made by California auc-
tioncer -
I Ladies and gentlemen, have now the
honor of putting up fine pocket haudker-
chief; yard wide, yard long, and almost
a yard thick; one-half cotton, and t'other
half cotton too beautifully printed with
stars and stripes on one side, and the stripes
and stars on t'other. 1t will wipe dust
} from the eyes so completely-as to be death
to demagogues, and d,nFte politics as bad a
business as printing papers. Its great
length, breadth, and thickness, together
with its dark color, will enable it to hide
dirt, and never need washing. Going at
one dollar ?seventy-6ye cents Fifty cts?
twenty-five cents ?-one bit? Nobody
wants it oh thank you, lsr p
Next, gentlemen-for the ladies won't
be permitted to bid on this ARTICLES re-
al, simon-pure tempered, highly polished,
keen-edged razor bran spankin new nev-
er opened before to 7un-light, moonlight,
starlight, daylight, or gas-lght F.; sharp
enough TO shave a lawyer or cut disagree
able acquaintance or poor relation handle
of buck-horn with all the rivets but the
two at the ends Of pure gold. Who
will give two dollars one dollar half
dollar? Why, ye long-beardod, dirty-faced
reprobatcs, with not room on your phizzes
for Chinese woman to kiss, l'm Offering
you bargain at half dollar! Well, II
will throw in this strop at half q dollar
razor and strop-a recent patent two
rubs upon it will sharpen the city attorney
all for four bits and piece of soap
sweeter than roses, lathers better than q
schoolmaster, aud strong enough to wash
out all the stains from California polite
ian's countenance, all for four bits Why
You have only to put the razor-strop and
soap under your pillow at night to wake
up in the morning clean shaved Won't
anybody give two bits, then for the lot ?
knew l would sell 'eni.
Next, ladies and gentlemen, l offer
three pairs of socks, hose, stockings, or
halfhOse, just as you're q mind to call
them, knit by machine made on purpose
ont of cotton wood. The man that buys
these will be enabled to walk till he gets
tired and provided his boots are high
enough, needn't have any cOrns the legs
are as long as bills against the corporation,
and as thick as the beads of the members
of the legislature. Who wants 'em at one
half dollar 7 Thankee, madam, the mon
ey.
Next, offer you q pair Of boots !;
made especially for San Francisco, with
heels long enough to raise man up to-
Hoadley grades, aud nails to insure against
being carried over by q land slide legs
wide enough to carry two revolvers and O.
bowie knife, and the uppers Of the very best
horse leather. A man in these boots can
move about as easy as the state capitol.
Who says twenty dollars All the tax
payers ought to buy pair to kick the
council with everybody ought to have a
pair to kick the legislature with and they
will be found of assistance in kicking the
bucket, especially if somebody should kick
at being kicked. Ten dollars for legs, up
pers, and soles while souls, and miserable
souls at that, are bringing twenty thou
sand dollars in Sacramento Ten dol
larsi ten dollars Going, gone at ten
dollars
next is something that you ought to
have, gentlemen--a lot Of gallowseS, some
times called suspenders. know that some
Of you will after awhile be furnished at the
states expense, but you can't tell which
one, so buy where there cheap. All that
deserve hanging ore not supplied with q
gallows if So there would be nobody to
make LAWS, conuehih CIiinin"'o' VI """S N"'
prits until new election. Made Of pure
gum-elastic-stretch like judges con-
science and last ns long as California Of
fceholder; with steal buckles Of pure iron,
and warranted to hold SO tight that no
mans wife eau rob him Of the breeches-
are, in short, as strong, as good, as perfect,
as efIectual, and as bona fde as the ordi-
nance against Chinese shops or Dupont
street-gone at twenty-five cents"
p9- 1t is very rare to find ground which
produce nothing; if it is not covered with