The Ashland union. [volume] (Ashland, Ashland County, Ohio) 1854-1868, 1857-05-13
SPORTING WITH SPIRITS. /"
BY A RACKwooDsMAN.

| SPORTING With " SF1R1TS.
BY RACKwooDsMAN.
The table moving was tried by ali
placing their hands in ring upon the
table. Our weights could not hold the
table down to the floor. Slowly it rails
ed, but tipping little We fell headlong
into the pancake batter, the table and
batter raising as we went down.
S. would have laughed at our fall,
bad not H. trod heavily upon his Germs.
Instead oflaughiDg he looked like ours
ing. lie was grave and declared that
the spirit compelled him to stop where
he did 1t was evident that he had
got up the Dutch" of our unseen visi-
tors.
Wishing to get good understanding
with them, we proposed to learn by rap
ping, variety of matters particularly
interesting and otherwise, to their spil =
itual veracity. Perhaps 1 cannot do
better than to give the questions and
answers as they occurred.
"Are the spirits present ?"
"They am sir"
#" How many of them 2"
Morn you can shake stick at"
care they good spirits "
"Fourth proof and no mistake"
"From what sphere ?"
"Tha Top notch"
"Win they converse with US ?''
"Well they will, horses"
"The replies we're raped as we drew
our fingers across the letters of the al
pbabet. Verbal questions were first
asked by different members of the cir
cle
"Wili any spirits called for appear
and answer ?''
S.a-r-tain."
{" Is Cain present P"
4" He happens to be-"
"Was the club with which he slew
Abel, hickory or white oak, and what
did he cut it with?"
eyes, it want neither. 1t was a
shnemake ball club, cut with butch
erknife"
"This important question settled,
Cain stood aside. Belshazzar was call
ed
Do you remember the feast when the
hand Rriting stood on the wall?'
Il make out to-,
"Were ?ou-begging pardon, sir
under the influence of Intoxicating IL
quors that evening ?"
Drunk, gentlemen, as biled-owl. "
Drink Champaign or Monongahe-
LAP"
Neither. Owing to the scarcity of
logwo ood we went into the black k-strap
and clear rot-stuf."
"Any of the women tipsy?
"They wasn't anything else. I reek-
on Mrs. Belshazzar was SO Timber like
that in playing snap aud catchem" she
fell into the oyster kettle and broke a
turtle shell comb all to eternal smash.
Was it fright that made your knees
smile together ?''
mo, sir-I was so almighty tired 1
couldn't keep them from shifting togeth-
er no how"
"Was Cyrus one of the b'hoys?"
"Well no great scratch. He took
the advantage of US vixen we were on a
bender. He was a cold water fanatic
aud an enemy to the constitution"
Are you in favor Of the Maine
law ?''
Not by jug full"
Do you get anything to take where
you are?'
"Not drop, I've got thunderiu
hankering after snifter."
Help yourself to cold water on the
table, old boy"
GO to the deuce with your cold wa
ter"
Baalnm present"
eyes"
"How old was that Jackass of his'n?'
He would have been four years Ole
the next general training"
Are there any Jackasses in your
sphere, Mr.. Baalam ?'
No, you impudent puppies. The
jackasses are all on earth yet"
This i'll l-natured insinuation was re-
ceived with enthusiastic raps by the
spirits
lis the Boss builder of the tower Of
Babel present ?' inquired one of the
company.
"He am"
Was the tower built of brick or
stone 2"
Brick"
How many thousand of brick was
there in the corner ?"
can almighty heap of them you'd
better believe"
How much did they cost per thou,
sand ?'
d" four dollars and half at the kiln"
Chow many Irishmen did it take to
carry mortar ?''
:" Nine millions, rising"
"That's lie, I know" muttered II.
suoark ran oo his oora eb;o -ndar