Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1857-04-02
Dun1orous Storp.
SQUIRE LaBGBDES SECOND MARRIAGE
From Graham's Magazine.

ESQUIRE LongDoW sincerely mourneo tne
loss of his wife-internally and externally.
Externally, he was one Of the strongest
mourners ever saw. He wore weed, float
ing from his hat, nearly a foot long 1t was
the longest weed that had ever been mount
ed at Puddleford; but our readers must not
forget who Squire Longbow was-a magis-
trate, and leading man in community. And
while the reader is about it, he may also re-
collect that the Squire is not the only man,
east or west, who has ventured upon little
ostentation over the grave of the departed
nor woman either.
Who was to be the next Mrs. Longbow?
That was the question. The public, indeed,
asked it long before the Squire. Who was
to have the honor of presiding at the Squire's
table? What woman was to be placed at the
head of society, in Puddleford? The Swipe-
ses and Beagles, Aunt Sonora, Aunt Graves,
and Sister Abigail, and scores of others, all
began to speculate upon this important SUBJ
ject. Even Turtle and Bates INDUCED in
few general remarks.
Aunt Sonora gave it as her mind, "the
Squire ought to be pretty skeery how he
married anybody, kase if he got one of them
fipper-tergibbet sort o wimmen, she'd turn
the whole house enside out, and he'd be one
of the most miserablest of all men," She
said "if he know'd what was good for him
self, he'd jest keep clear of all the young
gals that we're fussing and fgeting round
him, and go right in for some old standby
of woman, that know'd how to take the
brunt of things-but, lors-a-me," continued
Aunt Sonora, 'there's no doing nothing with
these old widowers-they're all like my Un-
Gle 10, who married in hurry, and repent
ed arterwards-and the poor dear old soul
arn't had minutes peace since"
The Swipeses and Beagles, who, it will
be recollected, belonged to clique that had
in times past, warred against Longbow e. Co.,
stho't it would be shameful for the Squire
to marry at ALT would be an insult agin
the memory of poor old Mrs. Longbow, who
was dead and gone" (Some people, you
know, reader, abuse the living, but defend
the dead) "And if the Squire should mar
ry, they should think for their part, that
she'd rise up out of her grave, and haunt
him {! She ceuld never sleep easy, if she
know'd that the Squire had got some other
woman, who was eating her preserves, and
wearing out her clothes, and lording it over
the house like all possess'd."
Other opinions were expressed by other
persons-in fact, the Squire's widowhood
was the great concern of Puddleford. "He
was so we'll on to do" as Aunt Sonora used
to call it, that he was considered great
"catch."
After few weeks of sorrow, the Squire
himself really began to entertain notions of
matrimony. 1t is true, he had passed the
age of sixty, and it required great effort
to get up a sufficient amount of romance to
carry out such an enterprise. Symptoms be-
gan, however, to wax strong The first alarm
ing indication was his attendance at church.
The Squire had always been kind of heath
en-, in this respect, and had for many years
set poor example; but people, who want
to marry, will 60 to church. Whether this
is done to get up reputation, or simply to
take survey of the unappropriated female
stock yet remaining on hand, l cannot say.
The Squire was ''fxed up amazingly. the
first time | saw him at church. His hair
had been cut, and thoroughly creased His
shirt-colar covered his ears; and his boots
shone like mirror. Aunt Sonora said he
looked "enymost as good as new" Aunt
Graves was in the choir that day, and she
sung as she never sang before. She blowed
all the heavy strains of music-strains that
lifted her On her toes-directly into Squire
Longbow's face. Whether Aunt Graves had
any design in this, is more than l can say;
but noticed some twinges about the Squire's
lips, and sleepy wink of the eye, that look
ed little like magnetism. 1t was ridicul-
Gus, too, that such an old castle should be
stormed by music.
But the Squire exhibited other symptoms
of matrimony He grew more pompous in
his decisions, disposed of cases more sum-
marily, and quoted law-latin more frequent
". 1t was about this time that he talked
about the "uux vomica" instead of "por
Popu1i." He used to "squash" proceedings