Democrat and sentinel. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1853-1866, 1857-04-15

A San Francisc, Auctionecr.

a San Francisco Auctionecr.
The reporter Of the San Francisco News
furnishes that paper with the following report
of speech made by a California auctioneer.
8 Ladies aud Gentlemen, [ now have the
honor of putting up fine pocket handker-
chief; yard long, yard wide, aud almost
yard thick f; one half cotton. and t'other
half cotton too; beautifully printed with stars
and strips on one side, and the strips and
stars on t'other. 1t viii wipe dust from the
eyes so completely ss to be death to dema-
gogues, and make politics as bad business
as printing papers. It's great length, bredtk
aud thickness. together with It's dark color
viii enable it to hide dirt, and never need
washing. Going at one dollar seventy-iye
cents fifty cents twenty-five cents ~
one bit? Nobody wants it GA thank yoss
sir
Next. gcntlemen-sor TIE ladies' won't be
permitted to BID on this ARTICLES a real ST.
mon pure, tempered. highly polished. keen
edged. Sheffield razor bran-spanken new;
never opened before TO sunlight, moonlight.
starlight, daylight or gaslight; sharp enough
to shave llwyer cut disagreeable ac-
quaintance or poor relative; handle of buck
horn with all the riyets bU. the two at the
ends of pure gold. Who will give two dol
lars? one dollar? half a dollar? Why We
long bearded, dirty-faced reprobates. with
not room On yossr phizzes for Chinese wo-
man to kiss, I'm offering you bargain a.
half a dollar. Well. 1 viii throw ia this
strop at half 4 dollar. razor and strop; re-
cent patent two rubs upon il viii sharpen the
city attorney; ali for iour bits, and piece of
soap, sweeter than roses, lathers better than
school master, and strong enough to wash
out ali the stains from a California politicians
countenanee. and all tor four bits Why you
have only to put the razor, strop aud soap un-
der your pillow at night to wake up in tho
morning cleaned shaved! Won't anybody
give four bits, then. for the lot? knew I
would sell EN-
81 Next ladies and gentleman. offer three
pairs socks, hose, Or half hose, just IS you're
q mind to cali them, knit by a machine made
on purpose out OF cotton wool. The man
who buys these will be enabled to walk until
he gets tired; aud, provided his boots are
high enough, nee not have any corns; tn
legs are as long as bills against the corpora
ton, and as thick as the heads of t.e men,
bers Of the legislature Who wants 'eIn at
half dollar? Thankee. madam, The money.
Next, offer ysu pair Of boots; made
especially for. San Francisco with heels long
enough to raise man up to the Headiy
grales, and nails to ensure against being car
ried over by land slide: legs wide enough
to carry two revolvers and a bowie knife, aid
the uppers of the very best leather A nan
il tlese boots Can move about as easy as the
STATE Capitol. Who says twenty dollars 3
All the tax payers ought to buy pair to kick
the council with !; cyery body ought to hase 8
pair to kick the legislature with and they viii
be found of assistance in kicking the bucket.
especially if somebody should be kicked at be-
ing kicked. Ten dollars for legs. upper and
soles While souls. and miserable soals at
that, are bringing twenty thousand dollars in
Sacramento! Ten dollars. ten dollars -
lone at ten collar
- Next is something you ought to have
gentlemen, a lot Of good gailowses -soue-
Times nallAa e=ot,or.vl~ss. ktIvw ut..s SUMS
Of you viii after while lie furnished at the
States expense, but you can't tell which one,
SO buy when they re cheap. All that deserve
hanging are not supplied with a gaiiows; il
SO there would be nobody to make laws, con-
demn criminals. or hang cul pri until a new
election Made of pure gum elastic stretch
Ike judges conscience, and last as long as
a California Office holder will steal; buckles
Of pure iron, and warranted TO hold so tight
that no mans wife can rob him of the hreeches
are IL shoct as strong, as good, as perfect, as
eifectuai, and as bona file, as the ordinance
against Chinese shops on Dupont street-gone
at twenty five cents"
- --.S~~>-----
tn ~ p