The south-western. [volume] (Shreveport, La.) 1852-1870, 1857-04-15

tino oher folks into trouble, merely Tor the SAKE
we suppose, of making himself genqfalIy I'M
popular. The aforesaid genius wentlo par
iv-a little reunion, as bis wife termeEF it-one
evening last week. Among the great ,n'l-
ted was solemn, sober-faced youth, whose
"bringine up had been of the most orthodox
character Therefore his facial attributes were
of the very mildest kind, and unused 10 the
contortions of laughter or any expression olhef
than usually attributed to the eonntenance oil
chief mourner at funeral. Genius Dobon
fixed his malevolent eye upon the youth, ane
determined to ''serve him up in double quick
time. An opportunity soon came stiagghhs
along, as opportunities to do n'sch'ef Always
will. @@a@
Dobbin seated himself upon the sofA where
was ensconsed bolt upright, stiff and angular
the unconscious victim. Dobbin, after por-
tentious silence OF two or three. minutes dura-
tion-the whole of which period he had been
looking steadily into the youth $faee-Sudden-
~ started turned half around, and, IN tone
loud enough for the whole company TO hear
exclaimed, young man, don't do that Tgaln!
The youth blushed from his chin to his ears,
and glanced timidly towards his 'ma.'
Directly Dobbin, in louder tone, anq rather
more fercely, said, "young man, yoA are
stranger to me, but l tell you plainly,iif you
do that again, III take you by the arm and
lead you out of the room!'
The guests now became agtated and crowd
ed around the sofa. The youths ma came
up and asked "Uriah" what he had been do
ing; but being excessively frightened, ljrah's
tongue couldn't articulate a syllable, and he
looked as though streak of moonlight would
have knocked him over Dobbln made no
sign other than that of a slight anger, Ten
minutes more elapsed, and the excitement pass
ed away. Directly Dobbin, calmly arising,
and grasping the shocked victim by the arm
said: "Now young man, this is the third time
you've done it. You are not fit to be III civil
Used society! Come out!" and to the utter
astonishment of the assemblage, he led the
dumb founded youth into the hall.
There, now, cool yourself off,"
What has my son done?" exclaimed the
INA"
Done, madam! done! Ask himp' replied
the imperturable. The stricken youth finally
broke into pteous wall and gasped:
Il haven't done any thing. lt-it--was
him done it, and-and-and now he is trying
to lay it TO me-"
young man," interrupted Dobbin, i'm pres
sivey, "don't add lying to your ignorantte!-
You done it three times! And | don't allow
any man to wink three times at my wife with
out taking him out and asking him to drink!''
ooh, I'll drink little cordial with you, ra-
ther than quarrel, but never winked at a wo-
man in all my life" responded the youth,
From the lips of woman, every infant Hears
the first accents of affection and receives the
first lesson of duty in tenderness and love-
For the appreciation of woman, the growh-up
youth will undertake the boldest enterprises
and brave death itself. To the happiness Of
woman the man of maturer years will devote
the best energies Of his mind and body, and
from the soothing and affectonate regards of
woman the man who is become venerable by
years derives his chief consolation in life's de-
cline Who. then shall say that the one-half
of the human race, and they confessedly the
most amiable, may not be entrusted with an
education and an influence equal to our own?
TO them when sorrow aff1icts US we conbign
half our sufierings, and they cheerfully re-
lieye us by tightening them When joy de-
lights we give the half of our pleasures, and
they as readily consent to share them. They
lessen, by their sympathy, the pangs Of alIour
privations and they increase, by their par'ici
patton, the ecstacy of all our delights. They
deserve, therefore, the full enjoyment of Very
happiness that it is in our power to confer on
them.
They had a man up in Maine, lately, for big
amy. He proved he was guilty Of trig any, and
consequently discharged. He had not Only
married Rhoda Sylvia Stewart and EmiIy|Ju-
liza Clark, but another WOMAN, whose name is
not given. The indictment was based upon
the legality of the second marriage, which mot
being legal. the indictment failed. The trHga-
mist even declared that should the government
attempt to prove that the first wife was living
when he married the third, he should obiect to
such evidence, as there was no such allegation
in the Indictment.
This last position was sustained by the court
the prosecuting attorney entered mol pros,
and thus the uxorlous scamp, who was charg-
ed with having two wives, got clear by having
three. Lucky fellow that. in more senses Than
one.
Captain Jones. of the United States army, a
Firgnan BY birth, stationed not long sincei nj
Bencia, California, had with him body ser
want, Save, hdineu Joe. One morning Hlie
captain was starilad by the news of Joe's hav.
ing shot another negro, and sternly asked him
how he dared to do SO. Joe seemed at its
cast down, but rallying himself and looking
the captain full in the face, replied: "De fsel
is. massa, dat ar Niger was one of dem Ndv
York free niggers. He suited me, and hAt
to take high sudron ground with him.
The darkeys had fought a duel. Il
An old gentleman of rustic habits reaches
Cincinnati lately with sum of money in hill
pocket, and visions of city enjoyment in hi:
head. A drunken man staggered against Ia
dy at the cars, and The benevolent old gentle
man stepped up and drew the drunkard kind
by away, whereupon the latter Rugged his col,
siderate friend in very ecstacy of grateful at
feetfon. He then staggered very badly rount
the corner and suddenly disappeared just al
the old gentleman missed his pocket book AMI
its contents. The fellow played drunk TO pei
lection, and his rustic benefactor learned
lesson.
Fellow sinners" said preacher, > if yot
were told that by going TO the top o. thos'
stairs yonder pointing to a rickety pair at on,
end Of the church, you might secure you
eternal salvation, | really believe hardly an,
Of you would try it. But let any man pro
claim that there were one hundred dollars NJ
there for yon, and I'll be bound that Their,
would be such a getting up stairs as you neve
did seef'