Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1857-03-07


in dead body! My hands laid crossed Sc
renely over my breast, as if TO tell of quiet !
within my features, felt were placid and
calm. NV frame seemed no longer a part Of
myself. My soul wriihed in ago:.y and silence |
within my she'll heard my mothers shrek,
my fathers groan, and there was another sound
lit seemed like wall Of anguish from a
breaking heart. Whose was ii And the
imprisoned feelings quivered and shook with
something between pleasure and pain, but they
gave no outward sign.
! heard the confusion about the house the
physician, the minister sent for; orders issued
with the greatest rapdity, but each one heard
and fel. by me. ] seemed to be mass Of feel
ing and each circumstance vhtaied painfully
against the iighily-s,rung chord descending thro'
my whole frame, aud in its descent touching
each nerve, sending through Inc thrill Of the
intense 81 anguish-the most exquisite suffering
but there was the same awful stiffness reigning
without. They gathered around my bed-my
father, my mother, the servants, ALL heard
their deep sobs. heard the grief too deep
Tor tears-so sudden, so lately in health, and
now dead shuddered al the word but the
shell upon the he'd was sllent-quiet as ever
Ny mothers firm pressed the bed beside me,
Der agony giving vent only occasionally in
words such as-"Oh had he but been child
Of God, could have borne il but dead with
out hope"
Tie doctor came. Ny eycids were raised.
Through those halfclosed portals eazed once
more on the faces ! 50 loved but my feelings
| a.. al ,,unila
My vest was undone. heard the sad declara-
tion, in tones Of deep sympathy, "No pusalion
all over" felt my mother fall lileless be-
side mel heard my fathers frenzed express
sions Of grief, and was left 10 be shroudeJ
| for the grave. 1t was done by The tender, low
! ing hands of our own domestics, amidst many
tears over ''poor Massa Willie" bu, this did
not prevent the thrill Of horror, doubly intense
because it only touched him.
was laid upon my own bed, each limb
straighlened, each fold laid in its place; the
windows opened TO prevent, as shudderingy
thought, the quick ravages of decay and with
many a sigh and many an expression Of grief,
they lef me alone with my own dead body
the cool breezes sweeping over my silent frame
/ the sun, in its garsh brightness, peeping in
and mocklng at my sorrow. remember, too,
dove outside my window, whose mourniul
note seemed 10 goad me TO madness. They
would drive it away, but it soon returned and
sang to me in It's melancholy strain tina, lvrlong
day. And now ! must think how | must stare
the evil in the face. ! must look beyond The
grave to which | would soon be taken. ! do
not remember that | had one hope Of being
saved from my living death. There seemed Ia
be such fixed lnmovableness about my body
| lieved myself dead. The recollection Of my
mothers agonized cry Of ''Oh had he but beer
child of God :" filled me with horror, and Tho
idea of an entrance into the eternal world with
out preparation came over me with all It's dread
ful reality. My whole life passed in review
, before me. Alas, what scene Of black rebel
lion In vain did search for one act will
which ] nigh, hope 10 appease The great God
They alone fled from me. and seemed f"rceC
10 view my sins, which now, for the first time
! struck me with their enormiiy. hated my
( self. Ii seemed just in God 10 punish me thus
severely. All his kind, wa,chful care came /,
my view in new light. Why had | neve
! seen it beiore-and now too late How coul'
u toi VI eih vi
e no: | must despair could not merit Heaver
i could never do anything to show my los
e and gratitude and then, in conneriion will
p these thoughts, came my mothers teachings
v my prayer lisped at her knee. and ] repeated
$ "Our Falhei," with a sort Of iremulous earn
. es,ness had never known before. Blu, sill
y despared. ] seemed the blackesi thing all, c
I. and then understood how devils would ac
y knowledge the justice of God in their condem
g nation.
: AS these and multitude Of other thought
passed through my mind, heard the door open
# ed, and my mother stood beside me. ! hear
IT her subdued moan Of agony: again the sol
g hand smoothed my brow. and she said;
= "My boy my poor Willie! can ii be! Oh
1 my God thou alone canst comfort me under ihi
] most grievous chastisement. Oh, let me NJ
O murmur, let me but see the end 10 be worke
|. out Oh, if he had but given me one word I
d show that he rested in Saviour, trusted
1t him, could have given him up at thy ca
,r without one selfish feeling; but now-oh, n
g hope no hope my child my child - an
s. shrekng forth her anguish. they tore her fro
Y, me.
= Dear mother, when did you ever come ne;
s, me without mpariing comfort Even now 81
h, spoke Of Savior, upon whom might rest,
" whom ! might trust, even sinful as | Was, al
,c prayed earnestly 10 be led in the right pat
re ! had never before prayed from my hear,, b'
as now il seemed wrung out.
Again ! was interrupted by the opening
ID the door, and fel, my length and my bread
,e measured, with the remark, in a strange voic
~ that he was ''slout corpse" to be sure. VIII
or could ha' took him Off so siuddint!' endir
with an inquiry as to who The properly wou
Ii go TO now.
r "To the young lady, Specs" said James
Sc "she is jest like old masters daughter"
l 81 suppose" said the stranger, they wan
ed satin lining silver plale-everyIhing done ,
es in the fust stylei"
m "Never mind expense" said James lever
s. thing must be done in The very most senteee
II style"
III Imagine, if you can, dear reader, what II
lie feelings must have been at hearing myself dl