Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1857-09-10
ST. CLAIRsv1LLE, Sept. 9TH, 1857.

My! but we do want to see the next pa
per, Cause we think it will be such de-
cided curiosity to see those articles that are
to "appear, unsvodably crowded ou.-"-
Well, it's sometime since we had a chat in
the sanctum, and we feel a little Cross
What's the matter with your proof. o!
it's all JOS fault, is it, Well, tell 10. ii
he don't want a swarm OF indignant cores
pondents, each armed with tripod and
sheep's-foot, around him, he had better be
careful. In our own effusion of week be-
fore last there were no less than seventeen
errors, some OF them changing the meaning
altogether Bah, we wont write once more
if 10. don't learn 10 .mind his p's and q's.'
But-ah!-pardonnez MOL We have been
scolding away so fast we did not notice the
presence of strangers. Want to introduce
usl Never, Be introduced to "a country
hoosier!' Absurd! Why our very shadow
would blush at the thought. Ask Eye On
if he amt in the confidence of some one
else beside the Editor and goose quill. We
heard he was. Good for Fair Play! Wish
some one here could conscientiouEly follow
his example. Amt Belmont and Mt. Olivet
getting literary! Hark. All! voice from
out the pike How de d.. Balph! Amt
you ashamed to sit in the house and let Sis
90 to the orchard for apples, when, doubt
not, she has plenty of work TO do at home!
But maybe you've been to college, ('most
every "country jeke' has, for a session, at
least,) and there learned that it is woman's
lawful and nalienable right to chase the
cows out of the corn and pick the apples.
Listenl Tick-tick-ticki Whats thati
o! it's that little fxin' back in the corner,
is it, A telegraph Office in st. Clairsvilei
Couldn't we hoist few barrels of that old
rye oD to that little brass thing and send it
off 10 the middle of the Atlantic! 'Spose
We try But you wish US TO use breviry.-
So we wont say much more
When aLy one feels in the humor of
right good laugh, we advise them 10 go to the
Teachers Examination. We went the
other day, and we must confess We die not
feel very envous of tie educational advan-
tages of those youth who came under the
sway of some who were there assembled
One individual, in reading, proclaimed in
tragic tone, "The bended heavens around
me play" Wonder if he ever knew "the
earth shook red meteors." But the most
laughable occurrence was when a teacher,
deeply occupied in cohs sersation with
friend, heard a whisper in another part OF
the room, and, thinking herself in school,
turned with most pOrten;ous frown and
threatening stamp and in true school teacher
cadence cried, .'Here!' Imagine the ef-
feet. Il was almost as disastrous as that
following Holmes effort to be as funny as
he could
We have noticed the Junior of the Barnes
vile InteiHgencer in town for a few days
past. Is he hunting local! Perhaps the
groggeries of "the city" have closed and be
couldn'; stay there any longer. How is it,
Tom! Saw Localitems loa ing around here
a few evenings ago, too. He looked as con-
temptuously as you please on our lille tolun.
We were down at Bellaire since we wrote
last. And we looked all round, even vent
out to the middle of the river and from there
viewed the Sol distant city, and we couldn't
find its boasted greatness. However, we
had left our specs to hum.
But we have already transcended our
limits,' and amt hal. done. But We'll say
as much as we please next time, having had
time by then to forget what you said about
breyity. Tell Joe to--Beware!
Yours, tremendously,
FAN TAz Mayor |. Il.
P. S. Pity NE! no longer dare to send
my love to 3!