The Bedford gazette. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1805-current, 1857-09-18
A SOFT PLACE.


said Tins uncle, sand she gave me back-bones
for dinner. went down rather early in the
morning; we talked, and laughed, and chatted
and run on, she going out and in occasionelly to
see to things till dinner was ready, when she
helped me graciously TO back-bones. Now
took il as symptom of personal appreciation,
because everybody knows love back bones,
and | hattered myself that she had cooked them
on purpose for me-. So / grew particularly
cheerful, and thought could see it in her too.
So, after dinner, while sitting close beside the
widow. fancied we both felt sorter comforta-
bic LIKE know | did. | felt that
[ had fallen head and ears and heart in love
with her, and l imagined, from the way she
looked she had fallen teeth and toe-nails in love
with me. She appeared Just for all the world
like she thought it was coming, and was go
ing to court her. Presently, I couldn't help it,
laid my hand softly upon her beautiful shoul-
der, and l remarked, when had placed it
there, in my bIandest tone, Tim, for had tried
to throw my whole soul in the expression,
remarked then with my eyes pouring love,
truth, and fidelity right into. her, Widow, this
Is the incest, softest place | ever had my hand,
in all my life
"Lookng benevoenty at me, and at the
same time flushing up little, she said, in melt
ing and winning tones: doctor, give me your
hand, and Pll put it on a much softer place.
ain moment Of rapture I consented, and
taking my hand she gently, very gently, Tim,
and quietly laid it on my head-and burst into
langh that's ringing in my ears yet.
"Now, Tim. havn't told this to living soul
bnt you, and by jinks! you musn't; but | could
not hold ii any longer, SO I tell you; but mind,
II mustn't go any further.-Spfrt Of the Times.
Cooke, the tragedian, was in the habit of
giving orders to widow lady, who was once
sitting in The pits with her little girl, when their
friend, the performer, was about TO be stabbed
by his stage rival Reused by the supposed i'm
minence of his danger, the girl started up, ex-
claiming, ''Oh! don't kill him, sir don't kill
him. for, you do, he won't give US any more
pit orders" Her disinterested grief, like the
gratitude OF some people, was lively sense of
benefits 10 come.
A fast young man, returning elated from an
evenings carouse, spIed portIy figure shiver-
ering in the cold. He ciasped the lone damseI
IN his arms, kissed her smooth, icv face, and
sympathlzngly- y inquired why she ventured
out ''wthout her bonnet a'' An observant po-
liceman saw him husging the round-beaded
cast iron |spllar-post" erected there the prive-
Gus morning.
IL Two weeks ago vagabond was convict
ed in Illinois of stealing two watches. He
made pathetic speech after his conviction.
ascrlblng his failure 10 business and all bis mis-
fortunes in life, TO 'procrasination.' He seems
10 have been the embodiment of procrastination.
which, the poet tells us, is 'the thief of time
SHOCKING CATAsrRoruE. romantic father
whose name was Rose, called bis daughter
"Wild,' so that she grew up under the appel!a-
ton OF "Wd Rose" -, But 10 few wears the girl
fell in love with and married man named Bull.
which sadly iateriered with the romance of the
lady's name, "Wld Bun''
One OF the newspapers inquires with much
seeming innocence, if it is any harm for Young
ladies to SIT in the laps of ages. Somebody an
swers that it probably depends on The ksd of
ages seIeced-those from eighteen TO twenty
five being rather hazardous.
[GE James Lambart, young Englishpedestri-
an, has accomplished al Boston, the wonderful
feat ofwalknga 1000 miles in thousand hours.
He walked the last mile in IA minutes and 10
seconds; and then ran several times around The
track.
0y'Keep your best foot Foremost SAYS the
adage. But, if there is any difference between
mans feet, and be keeps the best foremost all
the time, be must either stand still forever, or
move very awkwardlv.
Iy~Tbe captain of Western band Of regu-
lators boast that be has fifty picked men" under
his command. If they are not careful, they
may get tarred and frathered, and then they will
need picking again.
The botaniss Tell Us that there is no such
thing in nature as black flower. We sup !,
pose they never heard Of the "Coal Black
Rose"
Why is chicken running like man
whipping his wife? Because it's fowl pro-
ceeding. No, because he's trotiing her throu gh
----l-----
The saying that there is more pleasure in
giving than receiving, is supposed to apply
chiefly to kicks, medicine and advice.
When an orator raves about love of country,
half the time he means love of talking and the
other half love OF pocket.
Why are potatoes and corn like certain SIN
ners Of olde Because having eyes they see
not, and having ears they hear not.
A coquette is a rose-bnsh, from which each
young beau pucks leaf,and the thorns are left
for the husband.
Young men who would prosper in love
should WOO gently. It is not fashionable for
young ladies to take ardent spirits.
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sAre you mate of the ship" asked an en-
g -, ,bo Irish SSNo