The Wyandot pioneer. (Upper Sandusky, Ohio) 1853-1868, 1857-02-12
mit INN .N umur,

ladies'? hKase they want carrying out
The most dangerous kind of a bat that
flies at night is brick bat.
The man who made an impression on
the heart Of coquette, has become
skillful stone cutter.
w Which travels at the greater speed
heat or cold? Heat; because you can ea-
silly catch cold.
"Sal," said lisping Bill, "if you love
me. thay tho; and if you love me and don't
like to thay tho. juth thqueeth my hand"
The Dutch are as famous for their bulls
as the Irish. II be losht two cows"
said Mynheer, 'and Won wash calf. and
two wash bull"
An old maid who hates the male sex
most vehemently, cut a female acquaint-
ance the other day, who complimented
her upon the buoyancy of her spirits.
There is reason in all things. Some
person was asked why stood before G?
Because man must before he can G,
was the reply.
Men are not attracted by highly polish
ed woman, SO much as by truly natural
and artless woman-woman sufficiently
childish not to despise common things.
"Is your house a warm one?" asked
person in search Of tenement.
'.It ought to be-the painter gave it
two coats recently" was the reply.
A lady, receiving telegraph dispatch
from her son, complained to the shocking
hand he wrote. saying that his being in
hurry was no excuse for such scrawl.
Complimentary to the telegraph!
An Illinois editor. speaking Of a rogue
who lives in his vicinity, says.-"The
rascal has broken every bank and Jail, and
Sabbath, we have had in this country for
the last five years"
"Dr. KsIorum, do you think my darter
will git well?'' "Why, if she don't get
no wusser, and duz get some better, she
may, probably, get over it--that is my
'pinon, madam, and / think as 'ow | ort
to know" s.- -r-..-..
A land speculator out West, in defend
ing his tract against the charge Of insalu-
brity, declared it was so healthy around
there, and so difficult for folks to die. that
that the inhaitants had to draw their last
breath with a coakscrew.
An emerald in New York advertises
as s'lost, on Saturday last but the loser
don't know where, an empty bag with a
cheese int. On the sack the letters
P. G. ARE marked, but so much worn as
not to be seen."
An immense vat in brewery at Lang
port, England, burst lately, and $500
gallons of strong beer ran into the river
Parrot, the consequence of which was
that thousands of fish were picked up in a
stupifed state. They broke the pledge.
HOOPS AeA1N.--"Tbanks!' muttered
our bachelor friend, "no more woman in
heaven can't get in. Their hoops are
SO broad, they will have to go the broad
road None Of these fashionables can
never crowd through the narrow gate" !"
Something in that.
met her in the sunset bright, her gin
CHAM gown was blue: her eyes that dan
ced with pure delight were Of the same
dear hue. And always when the sun
goes down think of the girl in the gin
CHAM gown.
A friend. in speaking of California,
says, -lfyou call physician. he gene
rally relieves you, if not OF your disease,
at least Of the contents of your pocket
book For three "ahems' and cha. -
l paid, in August last twenty seven dol.
lars.
ell bet sheep" said an old Mere
dith to his other half, 'that our boy, Or
son, is going crazy-for he's grinning
while blowing, grinning at the barn, grin
ming at the table, and erinning to himsel
wherever he goes. "-"Poh!" replied The
mother. "don't you know that he got {
love-letter this morning?"
EE Did you present your account tt
the defendant inquired lawyer of biz
client.
4 did, SIR
what did he say, sir?'
He told me to 90 to the devil
well, and what did you do then?'
why, then / came to you.'
Last winter an Ohio squire got mar
ried. and suddenly became poetic. Her
is sample,-
Oh. there's not in this wide world happie
life.
Than to sit by the stove-pipe and tickle you
wife;
! cfo l. 4