Raftsman's journal. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1854-1948, 1857-10-14
now SUIT LovENGooD EXPLODED.
HIS EXPERIENCE WITH SODA POWDERS.

ever see Sicily Burns Her dad lives at the
Rattil Snaik Springs, nigh TO the Georgy
| line!'' ssYes, a very handsome gall" s'Hand-
some that wurd don't kiver the case; it
sounds like calin' good whiskey water, when
ye are at Big Spring and the sti1l-house ten
miles off, an it a rainin', an yer flask only
half full. She shows among wimmen like
sun-fower as compared to dog fennel am smart
weed an jmsen. But thar amt no use to deS-
| cribe her. Couldn't crawl thru whiskey bar
rel with both heads stove out if it wur hilt
study for her, an good foot holt at that. She
weighs justtwo hundred an twenty-six pounds,
an stands sixteen hands high. She never got
/ in an arm cheer in her life, an you can lock
the top hoop Nv churn or a big dog collar
round her waist. I've seed her jump over the
| top Nv split bottom cheer, an never show
| her anklis or ketch her dress onto it. She
kerried devil enuf about about her to fill four
hoss waggin bed, with skin as white as the
inside NV frog-stool, checks an lips as red as
perche's gills in dOgwood blossom time; an
sich smile! Oh, be drafted eff its eny use
| talkin'. That gal cud make me murder old
| Bishop Soul hisself. or kill man, not to speak
Nv dad, eff she jist hinted that she wanted sich
| thing dun.
ssWen, to tell it at onst, she war gal all
over, from the pint Nv her toe nails tu the
longest har on the highest knob NV her he'd
gal all the time, everywherc-and that Nv the
| excitinist kind. Ov course l leaned up tn her
us close as l dar tn, an in spite of long legs,
| appetite fur whiskey, my shirt scrape, and
| dads actin hoSs, she sorter leaned tn me, an
L was beginnin' tn think 1 wur jist the greatest
| and comfortablest man On yearth, not except
| in Old Buck or Brigham Young, with all his
radil cultured, wrinkled wimmin, cradcls full
of babies, an his Big Salt Lake thrown in.
| Well, one day a cussed, palaverin', stinkin'
Yankee pedlur, all jack-knife an jaw, cum tu
ole maa Burnses, with load Nv apple parins,
calliker ribbons, jewsharps, an s-o-d-y pow
d-e-r-s. Now, mind I'd never hearn tell Nv
that truck aforc, an l be burned eff l don't
| want it to be the last-wus nor rife powder
! wus nor perkussion-three times as smart, and
! hurts wus, heap wus. Durn him. Durn all
Yankee pedlurs, and durn thur principals an
practissis, l say. l wish L had all the Sody
| powder they made in his paunch, an
| slow match fixed tn him, an l had chunk Nv
fire, the feller that found piece Nv him big
enuf tu feed cockroach ought to be King Nv
! the Sultan's harem thousand years fur his
luck. They amt human, no how. The mint
at Fiadelfy is thar Heaven they think their
| God cats half dimes fur breakfast, hasheS the
| lcvyies fur dinner, am swallers q cent on
dried april fur supper, sets on a stampin' ma
chine fur throne, sleeps on a crib full NV haf
dollars, and measures men like money, by
count. They haint one Nv them got a soal but
what cud dance a jig in kabbage seed, an
leave room fur the fiddler.
SsWell, Sicily she bought tin box NV the
sody frum him an hid it away frum her folks,
a savin' it fur me. / happened to pass next
day, NV course 1 stopped to enjoy a look at the |
tempter, as she wus mighty luvin' tn me, put |
wun arm round my neck, and f'other wun
whar the circingle goes roun hoss, TUX the
'inturn me with the left FOOT and gin me
kiss. Says she, Suty, love, I've got sumthin,
fur ye, new sensashun'-an' believed it, |
for began to feel it already. Ny toes felt like
little mnners wur a nibling' at 'em-a cold
streak run up an down my back like lizzard |
with 4 turkey hen after him in setten time,
my heart felt hot and onsatiSfied like an then
I'd cut old Souls throat, eff she'd limited at
needcissity fur sich an operashun. Then she
poured ten or twelve blue papers NV the sody
inter big tumbler, and about the same num-
Der Nv the white wuns inter luther tumbIer, an
put nj onto pint Nv water on both NV them
an stirred both up with case knife, lookin' |
as solemn ole jackass in a snow storm
when the folders all gin out. She hilt wun
while she told me to drink luther. / swallow |
ed it at wun run-tasted salty like, l thot it !
wur part Nv the sensashun. But l wur mista- |
kened, all NV the cussed Internal sensashun
wur tu cum, and it wurn't long at it, hoss,
you'd believe me. Then she gin me luther
tumbler, an I sent it after the fust, race boss
fashion.
s'In about wun moment an haf l tho't I'd
swallowed thrashin' merchine in fnll blast,
ur cupple Nv bull dog, an they had sot inter
fitin'. l seed that 1 wur cotched agin-same
family dispersishun to make cussed foolsu NV
themselves every chance-so l broke fur my
hoss. 1 stole look back an thar Sicily lay |
OF her back in the porch, a screamin' with |
latin, her heels up in the air, kickin' Nv them |
together, like she wur tryin' to kick her snip
pers off. But had no time tn look then; thar
wur a road of foam frum the house to the moss
two foot wide, an four inches deep-looked |
like it had been a snowin'-poppin', and his |
sim. am bilin', like tub uT hot soap suds. |
had gethered a cherry tree limb as I run, an |
lit asstraddie Nv my boss, whippin' an a |
Iickin' like mad. This, with the scary noises |
made Gur wur awhislin', an a hissin', and !
sputterin' outer mouth, nose and eyes, like |