Lewisburg chronicle. [volume] (Lewisburg, Pa.) 1850-1859, 1857-09-04
From HnTrr's urckly.
NOTHING TO WEAR
Ar EPISODE OF CITY uFE.


And her father assures me each time she was there
That she ami her friend Mrs Harris
Not the lady whose name so famous in history
But pain Mrs. II. without or my stery,)
Spent six consecutive weeks without stopping,
In ono continuous round of shopping;
Shopping alone and shopping together,
At n hours Of the day and in all sorts Of weather,
For all manner Of things that a put
On th" crown of her head or the sole Of her foot,
Or wrap round her shoulders fit round her waist,
Or that can be sewed or pinned on or laced,
or tied On with string or stitched with a bow,
In front or behind, above below;
For bounes, man tillaS, capes collars, and shawis
Presses for breakfasts, and dinners, and balls;
Dresses to sit in, and stand in, and walk in;
Dresses TO dane in, snd frt in and talk in;
Dresses in which to do nothing at all;
Dresses for winter, spring, summer and fall;
All of them different in color pattern,
silk, muslin and lace, Grape velvet, and satin,
Brucade and broaiclOth, and other material
Quite expensive AMI much more ethereal;
In short for all things that could be thought Of
Or millincr, modesto, or tradesman be bought or
From ten thousand franc robes tw.Dy-sous frills;
In all quarters Of Paris and to every store,
While McFmscy in vain stormel, scoldcd and swore,
They footed the streets and he footed the bills.
The last trip their goods, shipped by steamer Arago
Not to mention quantity kept from the rest,
Sufficient to fill the largest sized chest
Which did not appear the ships manifest,
But for which the ladies themselves manifested
Such particular interest that they invested
Their own proper persons in layers and
0fmuslins, embroideries, worked under Clothes
Gloves, hanikerchefs, scarf and such tries those
Then, wrapped in great shaws, like Crcassian
Gave goodbye To the ship and go by to the duties.
Her relations at home all maryellei, no doubt,
Miss Flora had grown So enormously stout
For an actual belle and possible bride:
But the miracle ceased when She turned inside out,
Aud the truth TO ;ht, and the dry goods beside
Which in site Of collector ni the sentry
lladentcred the port without any entry.
And though threemonhs have pa ssed since
The merchandise went on twelve carts up Broadway,
Ths same Miss NcFlimsey of Madison Square,
Tie last tim, met in utter despair
Because she had nothing whatever to wear.,
NOTHING TO WEAR! Now, as this Is true ditty,
do not as>'rt-ths, you know, is between
That shes in n stateof absolute nudity,
Like Powers Greek Slave or the Netici Venus:
ButI DO mean to say, have heard her declare,
When, at IN same moment she had on a dress
Which cCst five hundred dollars and not cent less,
And jewelry worth ten times more, should guess,
That she had not thing in the wide world to wear!
should mention just here that out of Miss Flora's
Two hundred and fifty sixty adorrrs,
had jdst been selected as he who should throw all
The r,st in the shade, by the gracious bcstoxaI
On my sc!t, after twentyor thirty rejections,
OF those fossil remains which she called her Affections
Aud that rather decayel, hut welLknown work Of art
Which Flora persisted i'm styling .h-r heart"
So We were engaged. Our troth had been plighted,
Not by moonbcam starleam, by fountain or grove,
But in front paror, most brilliantly lighted,
Beneath the .as-fxtures whispered our love.
Without any romance. or raptures, or sishs,
Without any tears in Hiss flora's blue eyes.
Or bushes, or transports or such silly actions,
1t was one of the quietcst business transactions,
With a very small sprnklin- ofsentment ifany,
And very large diam.nd imported by Tiffany.
On her virginia. lils where printed kiss,
She exclaimed in a sort ofparcuthesis,
AMI 10y way % putting quito al my ease,
You know I'm to polka much as please,
And Art when like-now stop, don't you speak
And you must not come here than twice in week,
or talk to me either at PARTY or ball,
But always be ready to when CALL
So don't prose to about b auty and stuff,
II don't break this OF there will be enough
For tina: sort of thing but the bargain must be
That as long rs choose, am perfectly free,
For this is a sort of engagement, you see,
We having thus wooed Miss McFlmsey and gained her,
With the silks crinoine hoops that contained her,
had as thought, a contingent remainder
At least in the property, and the best right
To appear as its escort by day and by night
And it being the week of the STUCkuPs grand ball
Their cards had been out = fortnight so,
And set all the Avenue the tip-toe-
considered it only my duty to call,
And if Miss Flora intended to go.
found her-as ladies apt TO he found,
When he time intervening between the first sound
OF the bell and the visitors entry is shorter
Than usual f5nnd 4; l won't say caught her
Intento on the pier glass, undoubtedly meaning
50 see fperhaIs it didn't need cleaning.
She turned as entered-.sWhy, Harry, You sinner,
Thought that you went to the Fi,sHERs to dinner"
$50 did l replied ''but the dinner is swallowed,
And li-esed trust for It's nine more.
So ieinc relieved from that duty. I followed
inclination, which led me, you see, to your door.
And now will your ladyship coGdescend
As just to inform me ifyou intend
Your beauty, and graces, and presence to lend,
tAll which, when own, hope no one will borrow
To the sTUcKuPs whose party, you know, morrow
The fair Flora looked up with pitiful air,
And answered quite promptly, "why Harry mon chr,
should like above all things tn go with you there;
But really and truly-Tve nothing to wear
'Nothing TO wear, 90 just as you are;
Wear the dress you have and you'll be by far,
engage the most bright and particular star
On the Stuckup horizon'-I stopped, for hereye,
Notwithstanding this delicate onset of fattery
Opened on me at once most terrible battery
OF and amazement. She made reply,
But gave a slight turn to the end of her
(That pure Grecian featurc,) as much as to say,
s'Iow absurd that any sane man should suppose
That lady would go to a ball in the clothes,
No matter how fine, that she every day"
So vcntured again-"Wear your crimson brocade,"
Second turn up Of se"Thats too dark by shader
Your blue sik'-"That's too heavy" Your pink
That's too light
"Wear tule over satin"-"I can't endure white"
''Your rose-colored them the best Of the batch
81 haven't thread Of point lace to match.'
"Your brown aatiq,e"-.'Yes look like Quaker
"Thc pearlcolored""I would, but that plaguey dress
maker
Has had it a week'-"Then that exquisite lilac,
In which you would melt the heart Of shylock'-
(lcrc the nose took again in the same elevation)
Why notl Itsmy fancy there's nothing could strike It
As more comme faut-"Yes, but, dear me, that lean
sophronia stuckup has got one just like it,
And wonta tappear dressed like a chit ofsixteen.''
Then that splendid purple that sweet Mazarine;
That superb point daiguiiie, that imperial green,
That zepbyrIike tarleton that rich grenddine"-
"Not one of all which is fit to be seen,"
Said the lady, becoming excited aud flushed
Then wear, exclaimed, in tone which quite crushed
hate ~;