Weekly hawk-eye and telegraph. [volume] (Burlington, Iowa) 1855-1857, 1857-07-01
A Good Joke.

A Good Joke.
We were told few days ago a joke on n
Young man not a thousand miles from Cedar
County, which, as we have never seen ii in
print, we consider worth relating. The cir
cumstance happened some time ago but will
lose nothing by its age 1t was told to us
by one who kaer, and who said it was all
true.
A certain young man in search Of wife,
being out on a conrting expedition, as is Gus
tomary with young men, came late on Sunday
evening, and, in order to keep his secret from
his young acquaintance, determined to be
at homo on Monday morning bright and ear
ly, SO that his absence would not be noticed.
But his afIianced resided several miles from
the town in which he sojonrned; and SO, to
overcome the distance, required the use of a
horse Mounted on his horse, dressed in his
fine white summer pants, and other farms in
proportion, he arrives at the residence of his
inamorata, where he is kindly received, and
his horse properly taken care of, by being
turned into the pasture for the night. The
evening, yea, the night, passed away, but
how to the young man, is nobodys business.
Three o clock in the morning. arrived. Our
hero was awake-may be he had been so all
! night-but it matters not; three o clock was
the time for linn to depart, so that he might
arrive at home before his comrades were
stirring. Not wishing to disturb the family
of his lady love, who were then wrapt in the
arms of Morpheus, he sailed forth to the pas
turc to catch his horse but here was a diff
culty-the grass was high, and loaded with
dew. To venture in with his white panta-
looms would rather take the starch out of
them, and lead to his detection. 1t would
not do to 20 in with his white unmentiona-
bles, SO he quickly made his resolve. 1t was
3 o'clock in the morning, and nobody STIR
ring, so he carefully disrobes himself of his
valuable "whtes" and places them in safety
on the fence, while he he gives chase with
unscreencd pedals through wet grass after
the horse But the stced was fond of clover,
and had no notion of leaving it. But our
hero was not to be thwarted, although he
began to realize the truth of the old adage
about the course of true love, &c, and final
ly the horse was captured
Returning to the fence where he had safe
ly suspended his hiy-whire unmentonables
or Mira6ite Dictu what horrible sight
met his eyes! The field into which his horse
had been turned was not only horse pas
ture,' but ''cali pasture too, and the naugh-
ty calves, attracted by the ,ehite flag on the
fence, had betaken themselves to it. and,
calf like, had almost cat them up only ii
lew weIl.chewed fragments of this once val
uapie article of his wardrobe now remained
--oniy few shreds-!ust sufficient to inli-
cate whit they once had BEEN What a
pickle this was for a nice young man to be
in
1t was now daylight, and tho Industrious
farmers were up and about, and our hero far
from home, with no covering for his ''travel-
ing apparatus" 1t would not do to so back
to the house of his lady-love, us they We're
now all up, and how could he get in without
exhibiting himself to his fair one, which
might ruin his match No, M that wouldn't
do. Neither could he 20 to town in that
plight There was only one resource Left
aim, and that was, to secrete himself in the
bushes till the next night, aud then get home
under cover of the darkness This he resol-
we'd to do, and accordingly hid himself under
thick growth of bushes.
Safely hid. he remained under the protec.
ton of the bushes for some time; and it may
be imagined that his feelings towards the
calf kind were not of the most friendly char
aeter but ere long his seclusion was destined
to be intruacd upon. The family of his fair
one, seeing his horse still remaining in the
pasture, enqnired of the lady what she had
done with her lover. She was non-plussei
She only knew he had left about three O. clock
in the morning. Things didn't look right !;
if he had gone, why did he leave his horse
Suspicious were awakened BY and bye,
the boys who had been out to feed the calves
returned with she remnants OF the Identical
white garments which adorned the lower
limbs of their late visitor. They were man.
gled and torn to shreds! An inquest was
immediately ield over them Some awful
| fate had beialien the unfortunate Young man.
The ueighborS were soon summoned to search
for his mangled corpse, and the posse with
| all speed set out with dogs and arms to the
| search The pasture was thoroughly scour.
ed, and then the adjacent thiekets when 10
| our hero Was driven from his laiI BY the keen
! scent of the dogs, .all safe, alive, and well,
but minus the linen An explanation then
ensaed at the expense of our hero; but he
was successful in the end, and married the
!ady, ana is nov living comfortably in one of
the flourishing little towns OF Iowa.