Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1857-07-06
MISTAKES OF A ASHORT.SIGHFED MAN,

The world will scarcely believe that a limited
vision. or near-slghtedness units a man for any
society whatever Yet such is the fact know
1T, for have experienced it ; and now stay at
home altogether. On my first merging into
manhood, | soon found that had no friends
every one Stunned me-and why? Simply be-
cause passed my acquaintances on the street
with supposed contempt. did not know them.
L soon resolved to speak to every one passed ::
- and then" thought /, in the fondness of my
imagination, . there will be no mistake!n I
put my resolution at once into practice, and for
whiie things went swimmingly on; but at
length the same result was the consequence
What have L done now?'' asked I of a
friend: why am again thrust without the
pale of society 20
Tho reason is, simply" said he, gazing
about to see that no one observed him speaking
to go prescribed being as L, that people arc
not willing to meet on terms of sociabilty and
equality man who claims the acquaintance of
every loafer, male or female, he may chance to
meet At Trinity Church, last Sunday, you
onered your arm to negro wench and you
were Yesterday observed by party Of ladies in
the act OF making profound bow to three of
the most notorious cOurtezans in town"
Good Heavens" exclaimed l, 8 is it posi-
bic -
These were not the only bad effects of nv no.
liteness. great six-foot whiskerando charged
me with the heinous crime of insulting his sis
ter by speaking to her without the previous
formality of an introduction; and it was with
the greatest difficulty that / could persuade the
fellow to refrain from horse-whippinp me-a
thing which he had fully resolved upon. and
which nothing but my humble apologies. and
labored explanations, joined to the entreates
OF one or two of my personal friends, deferred
him from putting into practice.
" Happier" thought I, - far happier, had
been born blind, for then L should at least have
avoided the tissue of blunders into which l
have hourly stumbled. My life has been one
continued series Of getting into scrapes in the
worst way, and getting out Of them the best
way could. Why am l coupled with such a
destiny! am one of the gentlest and most
lnoffensive of mankind, and yet the sukiest
blackguard about town encounters not half the
difficulties which fall to my lot"
Such were my musings when, on the follow
ing day, L dined with friend at one of the
most fashionable hotels in the city | was for
while, as thought, extremely lucky, having
as yet made but one fanz pas, which was mere
ly the drinking of glass of brandy for as much
wine-a mistake, by the way, which might have
occurred to almost any one. A tremendously
stout gentleman, from Mississippi, was seated
on my left. This individual had just cleared
his plate of a large quantity of roast beef, and
was engaged In gazing ominOusly at a lobster
his shut light hand, in the mean time, resting
upon the table. Unfortunately for myself at
this particular juncture L happened to stand in
need Of piece of bread; and raising my eyes
in search of the necessary article ] mistOok his
clencbed fist for loaf. Taking up my fork
very deliberately, hitched up the sleeve OF my
coat, and plunged the sharp steel instrument
into the feShy part Of the mans hand. With
a noise between a roar and growl, the victim
jumped upon his feet, knocking down the ger
tleman who sat next him, and upsetting waiter
who was hurrying along with large supply of
custards. L, of course, jumped up, too, fright
ened, as may we'll be supposed, almost to deatf,
and attempted to explain matters; but scarcely
had opened my mouth for the purpose, when
l was foored by tremendous blow from tho
wounded limb directly in my face. No sooner
had the avenger knocked me down, than he
unsheathed huge glittering bowie-k knife and
advanced to annihilate me altogether Words
can not portray the horror Of my emotions. /
had seen the fellow carve n pig few moments
before, and myself admired his dexterity in the
proceeding.
The company, however, intcrfered between
the Mississippian and my destruction. My
friends male known the imperfcction of my
vision, and the man of the Far West became
satisfied. l was borne to bed nearly senseless,
and have not yet recovered from the effects of
that adventure, although my physician is one
of the most learned and efficient in the city
He is an Englishman, and when L related to
him the occurrence he shook his head, saying
Terrible chaps, those fellows from Missis-
sippi, 'orrible beings Wonder he didn't cut
sol 1aIt