Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1857-02-18
MY HANDSOME HUSBAND.
BY NATHAElE CARL.

rods and little ishesp that I, after cutting four
of nv wisdom teethsshould be brought to this !!
! handsome husband The saints defend us
You must know there ia natural antipathy
between me and mytown sex. The ladies don't
like me, and | return the compliment, most
heartily. When they can out talk, out stare,
and out flirt me when they can get my seat at
church, lecture or concert hall when they can
squeeze in before me at dinner, and sit beside
the very one had zny eyes on, or talk more
scandal about me inthe course of five minutes
than could in twclvcmonth, though were
paid ten dollars line they do it, with all their
hearts and pocket the insult, set my teeth and
breath hard for second, and then come up
with them in one way or other, at the very first
opportunity.
it was solely on that account that married
They were all in ewith Absaloms eyes, and
hair and moustache, and thought if l could Sc
cure the prize might snap my fingers at them
all. In the language of another almost as celc
Lrated as myself, 81 came, saw, conquered
Absalom, like the Turk, could {" bear no
brother near tho throne and he Las moro than
once limited to me since the honeymoon is over,
that if had not been "plain" he should never
requested me to become Mrs. Poodle? (Think
of that, Mr.. Editor! Wouldn't it be as good as
shower bath on hot summers day.?
married in haste, and am attending 10 the
other part of the story If it isn't refreshing to
see the way things go.on, am no Yankee. Alb
SALON. is a merchant, his store away dOvn TOWN
his house land ! in, it, Of COURSE, away up
Don't feel morally certain those female women
do all their shopping at his store, and that the
| clerks are of no account, when they once get Il
siwht of him! Don't | know that he lunches with
them at Taylors; promcnalcs OH Broadway to
show himself, and catch one glance from all
those stricken danes rides up in the omnibus
or car with them, ull by accident, OF course!
Oh! certainly! I've donc things by accident
before now; and one was, marrying him
i'm beginning to laugh out OF the wrong side
of INV mouth. II you could only see Absalom
look first in the glass, and then at me: if you
could only hear him say SO condesccndinsly:
NV dear. men are altrays handSomrr than
women: ii can; be helped, and YOU know YOU
are not 10 blame, YOU didn't make your face .
If yuu could read sonic of the lovc.lcttcrs
have tishcd out his breast packet when he comes
home !; Httl. elevated" !" ii YOU could src the
women look, and tie men sncer at linn from
pure cuvv,l you would agree with me that such
:. marriage with such Il man must be heaven IN
earth" over the loft.
| ONLY wish ducliing was in fashion among
the women. I'd have pistols and coffee Tor
two ON the table night md day till could live
in ,,cace. Write to NH husband, will they sl'ea!;
OF the insurmountal.!,ap hetweon them!
FlInmpfts lfat 1atifsls ss str'ttt7 Pheasant
little way of being tc2;gnatcd- -'lnn't you think
30?
There goes Mrs. Dcl.ain. sweeping down town
to s,c INV husband. She is the one who thinks
mo such All obstacle believe tl&t I'll L"
one to-day Tidy, hand me my bonnet, Iurs,
AMI circular If ! don't 20 straight down to
the store. and take NY place bchiml The counter.
cinw M .lbSniom. (lhat will make l!Sr frantic y
nv name isn't Mrs. Poodle! wonder how
much grouse she will eat with him MiS noon! !
fancy that "ub.taclc knows Il thing Or two. ny
dear!
Confidential p. S.--In c:ls! anything should
happen To Mr. p. and should want I" change
my situation again, lei it be fully understood
that none but homciy mrM nead apply I'm
not going 10 have nj feelings ilcrratcd Nor"
than once can assure vnG IN caS'' any @clI-
tlsman in this city has rcd hair, Il Mor"Hghig
fr.cklrd complexion no half WY business will
aEswcr!l double squlnt. puG nose ;nu wi'!r
mouth. to say nothing Of Il good. rl@ht-t"wn
limp and bandy lrg-or two. II he thinks
proIrr-hc NAV inquire for my address at once.
and resi- satisfied that hc is llsi The man for NE.
Second p. Sit would b. best not ~ apply
unless something happens To Mr.. p. Also ii he
IS rheumatic Or pai:c;, il will be no Objection.
FASlIIoyAplE WuMEE-FaShion kills more
women than toll or SORROW. Uhc,licnte To fish
ion is = Greater ran:grcssion of the laws of wO.
mans nature. Il greater injury to her physical
and mental constitution. than the har;lShiIS Of
poverty and neglect The slave woman at l!'r
tasks will live and grow DID, and see two orthroc
generations of her mistress pass away. The
washcrwoman, with scarcely ray Of hope to
cheer her in her tolls will live to sec her fash.
ionable sisters all diearound her, and the kitchen
maid is hearty and strong when her lady has to
be nurscl like sick ably. 1t is Il sad truth
that fashion pampered women arc almost worth.
less for all the great ends OF human life. They
have but little force OF character: they have
sill less power of moral will, and quite us little
rLvsical energies They live for no great pur,
BOSE. in life, lhcy accomplish no worthy ends;
they ar, only doll forms i'll the chands of milincrs
and servants, to be dressed and fed to order.
They dress nobody: they feed nobody. and save
| nobody They write no books: they set no rich
examples q. virtue and womanlv life. II they
rear children. servant and nurses do it all, save
to conceive and give them birth. And when
reared, what are they? What 'lo they ever
amount to- but weaker Scuns of the old stock?
Who ever heard Of IL fashionable womans rx-
hibitinr any power of mind for which it became
eminent? Read the biographies Of our men and
/ women, Not one Of them had a fashionable
mother They nearly all sprang from plain,
strong m ndcd women, who had about as little TO
do with fashions as with the changing clouds
AK EplruR IL HEAvEN.-Cndrr the above
caption, an exchange gives an obituary of Il
brother of the quill, from which we extract the
closing paragraph:
care we not also glad that such an editor is
in Heaven? There the cry Of "morc copy shall
never again fall upon his distracted ears. There
he will no more be abused by his political AN
tasonsts, with lies and detraction that should
shame demon to promulgatc. There he shall
| bc no more used as Il ladder for the aspiring 10
kick down as suon as they reach the desired
height, and need him no more. There he shall
be able to soc the immense masses of mind he
has moved, all unknowingly and unknown as lie
has been, during his weary pilgrimage on earth
There he will find all articles credited, not
clap of his thunder stolen, and there shall be no
horrid Typographical errors to throw him into
fever. We are glad the editor is i'll Heaven
A CLERGYMAN asked one of his scripture pu-
nils whether "the leopard could change his
spots?" "To be sure" replied Billy, as prompt
-, ,,rht Lo. Hwheu he's rot tired of one spot