The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1857-06-20
,s-se-. &C., .s-- s--s,-s.7a-s7 7-l-ss4ss-a-s
A Good Joke.

on young man not thOusand Hiiies
from Cedar County, which, as We have
never seen it in print, we consider worth
relating The circumstance happened
some time ago, but will lose nothing by
its age. 1t was told to us by one who
kacn, and who said it was all true.
A certain young man in search Of
wife, being out on co"r'i"g expedition,
as is customary with young men, came
late on Sunday evening, and, in order to
keep his secret froi" his young acquaint-
ances, determined to be at home on Mon
day morning bright and early, so that
his absence would not be noticed. But
his af'ianced resided several miles from
the town in which he sojourned; and so,
to overcome the distance, required the
use Of horse. Mounted OH his horse,
dressed in his fine white summer pants,
and other FIRMS in proportion, he ar
rivcs at the residence of his inamorato,
where he is kindly received, and his
horse properly taken care of, by being
turned into the pasture for the night.
The evening, yea, the night, passed
away, but how to the young man, is no.
body's business. Three o'clock in the
morning arrived. Our hero was awake
may be he had been so all night-but
it matters not; three o'clock was the
time for him to depart, so that he might
arrive at home before his comrades were
stirring. Not wishing to disturb the
family of his lady-love, who were then
wrapt in the arms of Morpheus, he sal
lied forth to the pasture to catch his
horse; but here was difficulty-the
grass was high, and loaded with dew.
To venture in with his white pantaloons
would rather take the starch out of them,
and lead to his detection. 1t would not
do to go in with his white unmention-
ablcs, SO he quickly made his resolve
1t was 3 o'clock in the morning, and no.
body stirring, 50 he carefully disrobcs
himself of his valuable whites and
places them in safety on the fence, while
he gives chase with unscreened pedals
through wet grass after the horse. But
the steed was fond of clover, and had no
notion Of leaving it. But our hero was
not to be thwartod, althous ID he began to
realize the truth of the old adage about
the course of true love, &c, and finally
the horse was captured.
Returning to the fence where he had
safely suspended his lilly-white unmen-
tionables-O! Hirabi2e Dtctu what
horrible sight met his eyes The field
into which his horse had been turned was
not only a horse pasture" but " calf
pasture" too, and the naughty calves,
attracted by the uhite flag on the fence,
had betaken themselves to it, and, calr
Ike, had almost eat them mp only
few well-chewed fragments of this once
valuable article of his wardrobe now re-
mained-only few shreds-just suffi-
cient to indicate what they ouce had
been! What a piclic this was for nice
young man to be in !.
1t Was now daylight, and the industri-
Gus farmers were up and about, and our
hero far from home, with no covering for
his " travelling apparatus. 1t would
not do to go back to the house Of his
lady love, as they were now all up, and
how could he get in without exhibiting
himself to his fair one, which might ruin
his match. No, no; that wouldn't do.
Neither could he 20 to town in that
plight. There WAS onl y one resource left
him, and that was, to secrete himself in
the bushes till the next night, and then
get home under cover OF the darkness.
This he resolved to do, and accordingly
hid himself under a thick growth Of
bushes.
Safely hid, he remained under the
protection Of the bushes for some time
and it may be imagined that his feelings
towards the calf kind were not of the
most friendly character but ere long his
seclusion was destined to be intruded
upon. The family Of his fair one, seeing
mo hofAe still TctaiIiiiig Ill the paSluFc,
enquired of the lady what she had done
with her lover She was non plussed.
She only knew he had left about three
o'clock in the morning. Things didn't
look right; if he had gone, why did he
leave his horse2 Suspicious were awak-
ened, By and bye, the boys who had
been out to feed the calves returned with
the remnants Of the identical white gar
mcnts which adorned the lower limbs of
their late visitor. They were mangled
and torn to shrcds. An inquest was
Immediately held over them. Some
awful fate had bcfallen the unfortunate
young man. The ncighbors were soon
to search for his msngled
corpse, aud the posse with all speed set
out with dogs and arms to the search
The pasture was thoroughly secured, aud
then the adjacent thickets, when 10 our
hero was driven from his jair by the
keen scent of the dogs, all safe, alive,
and well, but minus the linn. An ex-
PLANTATION then cnsued at the expense Of
our hero; but he was successful in the
end, and married the lady, and is now
living comfortably in one of the flourish
ing little towns Of Iowa.