The Cadiz Democratic sentinel. [volume] (Cadiz, Ohio) 1854-1864, 1857-06-18
DOESTICKs UNDERGOES HOUSE
CLEANING. "a
E' No. 80. ~,.

No. 80. .a..- go
The females of Yankee land are the victims
of terrible superstitution under the influence
which they martyrize their husbands and
fathers and brothers and boarders, every half
year, and put them TO torture unspeakable-
This lamentable deluson is known by the pop
ular name of"House Cleanng'-and is kind
Of Heathenism, a peculiar form of idolatry orig
mated by the most spiteiul and vicious of all the
women ofremote ages, aud which has not as
yet been thoroughly exploded by the march of
mind. The visible forms and images which
the miserable women whoare a prey to this Pc
culiar fanatcism, set up to worship, are mops,
brooms, white buckets and scrubbng
brushes. The superstitious rites and orgies in
honor of these illustIious deities, are celebrated
usually in May and October, although a few
weeks earlier or later does not interfere with
the solemnity of the worship. The virgins who
areiby training ard tastes specially cOnsecrat-
ed to this particular devotion, are remarkable
for red arms, bare legs dragged petticoats, fe-
ry hair, strong Celtic accent and breath smell
ling Of early beer, and Irish whiskey on the sly.
although these fair creatures are the chic lead
ers and instigators in the diabolical peiforman-
ces on these occasions, still there is not single
oman in all the land but is SO benighted and
blnd as to ioin to the last extent of her ability
in the general attempt to torture all the hes in
/ the country into a State Of frantic Madness
! Time was when some innocent persons believed
that this periodical Saturation of every house
with soap s,ids, lime and strange Irish Girls was
interded in some mysterious way to conduce to
the after comfort Of the mansion; this, how
lever, is mere fable. unsupported by apy known
ftcts, and the extatic ioy with which the fe-
males enter into the thing, and the fiendish de-
light with which they goat over the sufferines of
Helpless mankind, 20 70 show that the whole
institution is petpetuated for the discontinue
and malignant abuse Of pantaloondom. 1enter
my solemn protest against the whole arrange
mcnt o. i am going 10 BE married some day.. and
I presume shall die soine other day, but | OBJ.
4 icct TO anv meliirinafv purcatorv before either
IortHese in 'ercstine events comes TO PASS. |
| donst want any "oretaste Of immortal bliss, >
and il brnnstone is the only cure for my soul. 4
had rather take it at 4 single dose hereafter,
than to have it sprinkled in small quantities
throughout the whole Of my ymundane existence
| / call iof a revolution--I demand at the hands
ofmy couhtrymena rebellion. will head The
lIeyolt nSself-I will cruelty every. woman who
suggests house -cleaning--I' will hang every ie
lmalG who hints at taking up carpets, or taking
down bed steads, and every person who seri-
onsy templates White washing, or cleaning
paint, or sweeping cllimncys; who looks wish,
\ fully at map, or Who sqlIrnts at paint brush,
shaIl Be blolcd overSsa Slow fire or drowned in
d kettle ofwhite wash. s' IN '' ..''.L
b Twill begin With Mrs. jerks, my new land
lady, and viii take Il particular delight in per
sohally deiholishing Mrs jerks with my own
hands-Mfs. jerks has aroused my vindictive
| ire-and Mrs Jauks. ayfhettcT beSyare. tihc