Delaware weekly Republican. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1841-188?, 1857-02-19

''Att'NNN'
in his own fortunes evils enough-without be-
ing curious about the affairs of Others.
\ late English paper states that at st. IIillie,
in the island Of Jersey, baker named Abel
married the daughter of a grocer named Cain,
and the name Of the magistrate who performed
the marriage ceremony was Adam. The timo
OF the wedding, We suppose, was fdewy Eve
The attention of transgressors is invited to
the following piece OF psalnlody--
''We had dream the other night,
When all was calm and still
We dreamed we saw host of folks
Pay up their Printers bilf'
An editor down south has been putting up his
well water. 'sOh, such water Cooler than
the breath OF spring, clearer than crystal, pure
as wOmans heart, and sparkling as cham
pagre." He descends, however, from the
high-ialutin to the prosatic, when he remarks
.'lt is excellent to boil potatoes in''
A fayorite magpie, which had been accus-
toned to receive its dainty bits iromthe mouth
Of its mistress, one day perched, as usual, on
her shoulder, ins ertcd his beak between
her lips, not, as it proved, to receive, but to
give or hide, for Us one good turn deserves
another, the grateful bird dropped an immense
green, fat caterpillar into the lady's mouth.
KISSING Al 4 CERTAIN AGg.--A celebrated
dandy was one evening in company with
Young lady, and observing ner kiss her iavorite
poodle, he advanced and begged the lils fayo.
renarking That she ought to have as much
charity, for him as She had showed to the dog.
Sir said the belle, Il never kissed my dog
when he was 1t puppy.
The fellow took the hint, and was OIL in
stanter'
u want to see some OF your glmblets, said
green born one day, as he entered n hardware
store.
The dealer took down several parcels neither
of which suited.
s'Wiil then, what kind do you wantl There
is almost every variety"
sWhy, darnit, want them what bore square
hnles.'
RATHER PorSrGD.-A weyI 80 - - nhysisiall
white evrver-fng win friend 60 aay . ha.ry-
we'd another physician driving past in his chaise
accompanied by one othis patients, who was
fast recovering.
''Well, said DR.. b.. 81 never took a patient
oEt to ride in my lfe.''
Mo- said his friend, 'sMr. Rust the sexton
saves you the trOublc.''
The following is verbatim conversation
which lately occurred between two middle
aged men at the corner Of Bank street and
Hog alley.
How do you do, Mr.. Brown2'
do what z
Why, how do you find yoursclf2'
j never lost myself.
well, how have you been?'
'Been- been where p
'Pshaw how do you feel p
'Fecl OF me, and see.
Good morning, Mr.. Brown.
III isn't It good morning either
MINED RELArIONsmP.-'I say, boy whose
horse is that yOu are riding?'
why it's daddy's'
FWhO is your tladdv2'
'Why. don't you know ?-he's uncle Peter
Jones'"
$50 your the son Of your uncle; how do you
make that out young man?'
.Well don't know 'zactly how it's replied
the boy 'but you see daddy got to be a Wild
ower, and married mothers sister. who is aunt
Sally, and so he's my uncle now.''
SrSDlNe "cLgD,1 Tommy, my son, what
are you going 10 do with that club q
Send il Ia the Editor, of course
But what are you going to send it to the
Editor for"
Cause he says if anybody will send him a
club he will send them copy of his paper
The mother came near tainting, but retained
consciousness enough to ask:
But, Tommy, dear, what do you suppose he
wants with clubi
We'll, mother, | don't know unless il il to
knock down subscribers that don't pay for
their paper.
-
4 SMART LITTLE BoY.--Wc heard the follow.
coll0qlly the other day.
Mother-''Wherc have you been. Charley p
Boy-''In the garden Ma
Mother-''No, you have been swimming, you
know hOw ! cautioned You about going to the
creek. will have to correct you. Look al
Your hairh wet it is2,'
Boy-''Oh ne, Ma, thlS is uot,water, it is
sweat =
Mothcr-"Ah. Charley. have caught you
fbbing your shirt is wrong side out!''
Boy-triumphantly- L did that jnst
n"w' Ma climbing ne tenec'"
KILL on CuHE,-When old Bogus's wife tell
i'll he sent fora doctor sordid and avaricous
ms himself. Before the doctor saw the patient,
he wished to have an understanding with the
miserly husband
Here's forty doars,' said Bogus, sand you
shall have it whether yor cure my wife or kill
her.
The woman died. and the doctor called 0l
the money!
'Did you kill my wife ? asked Bogus.
'Cenainly m"t!' replied The indignant doc
tor.
Wen, you did not cure her y
'You know she is dead.
'Ncry we'll, then, leave the house in double
quicl, timc,' said Bogus. n bargain is a bar
gain. II was kill or cure, but you did neither,
Young man. do You believe in a future
Statel'
In course does-and what's more, / IN
tend 10 enter il as sonu us Betsy gets her things
ready.
you mistake me; do you believe in future
state of reward and punishment ~
.Most assuredly; if could cut mugs with
red haired woman should expect my hat in
dcntcd by the first broomstick She could lsy
her hands on.
60 10, yonng man, you are an incorrighle.
Got
Go two II it wasn't for the law against
bigaiay, whip me il | wouldn't go dozen, But
who supposed, deacon, that a man OF your
years would give such advice to man just
starting in lic.'
This took deacon down.