davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1857-02-19
farmer s department,
TO FATTEN HORSES.

Every horseman knows that horse looks
twenty per cent. better if fattencd in a short
time than if several months arc employed in
the process. [ don't believe in loading
horse down with fat-they do better in me-
dium condition. A horse if not very thin,
can be put in good condition in three weeks.
But narrow headed, yard necked, narrow
breasted, light-quartcred animal, if he has
never been fat, will give you a Two or three
months task, and he will look the bitter for
all the flesh that you may put on him.
To fatten poor horse quickly is no easy
task. 1t is to be done by variety of the
best feed, and with close attention in giving
it. Many persons feed sufficiently liberal,
and yet their horses are low in flesh, simply
because of the careless and irregular manner
in which it is given out. When wish to
fatten poor horse, I put his stable in clean
condition, and commence by giving him small
feeds of corn or oats, (Which he takes BEST
every two hours, from the time Of rising in
the morning till retire at night-say six or
eight feeds day-taking care so to feed
that nc will always eat with relish, and be
hungry for the next meal. At no time do |
suffer his food to lay by him if he leaves
any I take it from him and let him stand till
he asks for it. For the first ten days am
careful not to let him get quite all he will
eat There is no better way of getting a
horse appetite up to the fattcning point than
to feed very often of good, clean feed. BY
paying strict attention for ten days, you will
have him fairly under way and this is the
most difficult part of the task. If at any
time he gets cloyed, so that he refuses to cat
let him stand till he gets hungry.
During this time his stable must be kept
clean and comfortable. He should have but
little hay, but as much pure salt water as he
will drink three times day. Salt all the
time at his will He must be curricd thor
oughly once every day. Few men curry a
horse as it should be done. Take your cur
ry comb firmly in your hand and with it
make quick motion back and forth, pass
all over your horse, getting to the skin, and
removing the dirt thcrefrom; then pass all
over more gently with comb and brush, re-
placing the hair, and finish with the naked
hand-putting every hair to its place.
Never give medicine of any kind-you
can succeed better without, If I wished to
reduce a horse in flesh in the least possible
time, I should bleed and physic. If you
have the time to spare it will be better en-
ployed in scalding or grinding your grain,
and feeding warm mashes, &c. 1t appears
that friOnd Munson has little faith in no
doctoring advice. If he finds the Gil to an
swer, advise him to stick to ii, for if he
does nothing worse than to pour a pint of
grease down horse that has touch Of bel
ly ache, he will hardly lose any. l have
known it employed for thirty years-it is like
mush to stone bruisc-does neither good
nor harm.-Irai1ie Farmcr.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1857-02-19

AN OLD CHIcKEN.-In attempting to
carve a fowl one day, gentleman found con-
siderable difficulty in separating its joints,
and exclaimed against the man who sold him
an old hen for young chicken. 'My dear,
said the enraged mans wife, don't talk so
much about the aged and respectable Mr..
B.; he planted the first hill of corn that was
planted in our town. Il know that said
the husband, 'and 1 believe this henscratch-
ed it up
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1857-02-19

RS| 1t happened some years ago, in one
of the Northern counties in Vermont, that
the then States Attorney, though man of
great legal ability, was rather too fond of
the 'critter" and with perversity of habit,
which we have often seen in others, was
pretty sure to drink too deep at the very
time when it was most necessary that he
should be sober. On one occasion, an i'm
portant criminal case was called on by the
clerk, but the Attorney, with owl-like gravi-
ty kept his chair, being, in fact, not fairly
able to stand on his feet.
sMr. Attorney. is the State ready to pro-
ceed p said the Judge.
sYes-hic-no, your honor stammered
the lawyer, the State-hic-is not in state
to try this case to-day-thc State your honor,
is drunk
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1857-02-19

bg Here is a description of negro char
acter, which we find in an exchange under
the caption of a mesmerizer nonplussed:
During the early part of last week an itin-
Grant professor Of psychology visited our
town, but failed to draw any considerable
number of people to the hall. In the hope
probably of inducing a large turn out, he
concluded one day to give specimens of his
skill to the boarders of the Exchange hotel,
and to this end he called up a little darkey
as a subject. After various passes and ma
nipulations over Gumbo his eyes dilated and
his muscles became rigid. Now said the
professor, eyour arm is paralyzed.' And SO
it really was, for several persons tried in vain
to bend it. Wonderful said the boarders.
The professor then laid three cent piece on
Gumbo's hand and said: 'Now, sir, you
cannot close your hand. If you can you
may keep the money The darkey seemed
to make an effort, but the hand remained
open. The professor next placed quarter
Of dollar upon the palm of the darkey's
hand and invited him to close on it and keep
both. The crowd was mystifed. The pro-
fessor, in glow of enthusiasm at the tri-
umph of his science, fumbled about, and
scored up half dime, which he added to
the pile, still inviting the darkey to Close
Young Gumbo concluded that the professors
small change was about exhausted, deliber-
ately shut his hand on the last invitation to
close, thrust it into his pocket, and with ki,
vi, vi, such as only young negro can give,
disappeared through the side door. The pro-
fessor Acknowledged himself to have been
slightly taken in and done for.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1857-02-19

sr That's new article for beautifying
the complexion said Mr.. Bib, holding up a
small bottle of a cosmetic for Mrs. Parting
ton to look at. She looked up from toeing
out woollen sock for Ike, and took the bot
tie in her hand. rs it, indeed?' said she,
swell they may get up ever so many of these
rostrums for beautifying the complexion, but
depend upon it, the less people have to do
with bottles for it the better. Myneighbor,
Mrs. Blotch, has been using bottle good
many years for her complexion, and her nose
looks like rapture of Mount Vociferous,
with the burning lather running all over the
contagious territory. You'd better not try
the bottle as beautifyer, Mr.. Bib Mr..
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1857-02-19
From "Hood's" Unpublished Poems.
THE QUEENS ENGLISH.


A sea horse is a sea horse s.
When you see him in the sea,
But when you see him in the bdy,
4 bay horse then is he.
OF course 4 race horse isn't coarse,
A fine is far from fine;
1t is a saddcning sight to see
A noble pine-tree pine.
If miners are all minors, then
Their guardians get their gains,
All GLACIERS extra pains should take
TO put in extra panes.
A hat about farmers room,
Not long ago knew,
To dy. He caught .ay and then
F7em up the chimney .h"f.
But such scene was never seen
am quito sure of that
As when with sticks NIL hands essayed
To hit the bat bat.
GLOW do you do 2" said Sail to John,
"So-so," replied he,
"How do You do ?" said John to Sal,
Sometimes sep-seW," said she.
A kitchcn-maid is often made
To burn her face or broil it;
a lady will do little else
Then toll II at her i0Het.
'Tis punishment for me to pm;
'Tis trifiing void of worth,
So let il pass unnoticed,
Like der that's due to earth.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1857-02-19
Amusn1g Aeaomg.
POINTED REMARKS.

ga renowned clergyman, not thousand
miles from this city, lately preached a rather
long sermon from the text, "Thou art weigh
ed and found wanting After the congre-
cation had listened about an hour, some be-
gan to get weary and went out; others soon
followed, greatly to the annoyance OF the
minister. Another person started, where
upon the parsou stopped in his sermon, and
said: s"That is right, gentlemen, as fast as
you are weighed pass out" He continued
his sermon at some length after that, but no
one disturbed him by leaving"
Petersburg Erpress.
This puts US in mind of remarks made by
the Rev. James Sewell, of Baltimore, con-
nected with the Methodist church, who, some
years since, was appointed to minister in
Charleston.
One beautiful Sabbath morning he was
preaching to very large audience in Cum
berland street church, (perhaps making one
of his best efforts, and he was no ordinary
pulpit orator. yet he was much annoyed by
several young men leaving the church and
carelessly slamming the door on passing out.
A beautiful trio arose from their seats and
were making for the door, when Mr.. Sewell
in his truly original style paused and placing
himselfin peculiar tragic position remark
ed-"When the gospel fan begins to work,
the chaff will surely fly. 1t will soon be gone
when these young men are out--then we
will have wheat left" At this point couple
of young men seated about midway in the
church, gave vent to their risible faculties
and burst out into hearty laugh, when Mr..
Sewell as promptly corrected the breach of
decorum by reminding disappointing his
finger at the party-that Solomon says: ga
fool is known by his much laughter" These
remarks had their desired effect, at least for
the Columbia Times, Jan'y. 9.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1857-02-19

A SLIGHT M1sTAKE.-The Elmira Ga
zette relates the following anecdote. The
mistake is one quite likely to occur in po'
litical churches nova days:
A gentleman in this village, who had not
before been to church since it became fash
ionable to preach BLEEDING Kansas in
stead of Christ cruci6cd,' attended meet
ing last Sunday. lie saw pitcher and a
tumbler sitting on the pulpit, and the minis
ter was sdalking bollitics.' He supposed ne
was in a bar-room, and walked up to the
pulpit saying: ...-, .-s.
Look a.hcre, old fellow! stop firing on
politics, and attend your customers. Give
US a gin cocktail.
He evidently thought that he had got in
to a large drinking establishment, where the
bartender was expounding his political sem
timents.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1857-02-19

The TOOTH PsALM.-The long disputed
question whether Purcell or Handel was the
author of the grand music of the Old Hun
dreth has been set at rest by q discovery
made few days since in Lincoln Cathedral
Library. Purcell died in 1895, and Handel
in 1859. But in the Cathedral library, a
French psalter, printed in 1916, contains
the music of the Old Hundredth, exactly as
it is now sung, so that it could not be the
production of either of the great musicians
to whom it had been attributed.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1857-02-19

Bib, with smile, informed her that this
was simply cosmetic, harmless in its char.
actcr, and intended to go upon the face, and
not inside it, whereupon she subsidized into
the toe of Ike's stocking, murmuring some
thing about sleaking in Ike, in the mean
while, was amusing himself by rigging a
martingale on Lions tail, securing that wag-
gish member to his collar, and making him
look as if he was scudding before the wind.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1857-02-19

n|A green Yankee stepped from steam
boat, a few days since, on one Of our Wharves'
and so confouDded was he by the confusion
and turmoil Of the scene, the jam of vehicles,
the crowds of carmen and hackmen shouting
and iostling, that he sought the shelter of
the boat again in the utmost CONSERVATION.
why, FRIEND said bystander to him,
you are in trepidation.'
wall, I'll be blasted, returned he, open
ing his eyes with astonishment; saint | in
York after all? In Trepi,7ation, am u
I'll be darncd if ever heard of that place
afore
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1857-02-19

VALUE OF ScIENcE.-Orange or lemon
juice left upon knife or ether piece of iron
will, in few days, produce stain so near
ly resembling that caused by blood as to de-
ceive the most careful observer and not
many years ago, in Paris, man was nearly
convicted of murder, owing to knife being
found in his possession stained with what
was pronounced by several witnesses to be
blood, but afterwards discovered to be simply
lime juice.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1857-02-19

sg" A good story is told of Yankee who
went for the first time in bowling alley,
and kept firing away at the pins to the imml-
nent peril of the boy, who so far from having
anything, to do in setting up the pins was
actively engaged in endeavoring to avoid the
balls of the player, which ratified on all sides
of the pins without touching them. At
length, the fellow seeing the predicament
the boy was in, yelled out, as he let drive
another ball, stand in among the pins if you
don't want to get hit
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1857-02-19

GOING THE WHOLE ANIMAL.--'Blll,
said one loafer to another, recently, Ise a
National Reformer, [ is
IVY, is that our party?'
IVY, yes, hossy, it is that. If you puts
in vote for that party, you votes yourself a
farm
Well, 1 don't go that without they'll 60 a
little further. wants farm, and some
body to work it, beside
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1857-02-19

No. A crazy woman, living near Rydal,
was asked if she ever saw Mr.. Wordsworth,
and what sort of man he was
20, indeed, says she, che is canny enough
at times; and though he goes booing his pot
terry (repeating his poetry through the woods
he will now and then say, sHow do you do,
Nanny p as sensible as you or I!
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1857-02-19
Selttt 4ostrg.
From the Columbia South Carolinian.
nBRooKs IS DEAD ~

-
"BROOKS IS DEAD"
2 The startling announcement which brought griei
to many hearts.
oBrooks is dead!"
The brave, the chivalrous and gifted one'
The towards dread,
The friend of right, Caroliua's gallant son..
Brooks is dead
-, "Brooks is dead ~
And every manly heart gives tribute slghs'
- And tears arc shed.
Most bitter tears, DER him who calmly lies,
>. Cold, still and dead!
"Brooks is dead !"
With laurel newly blooming round his brow,
His spirit fled;
He eheeaeth not our grateful plaudits now,
For 'sBrooks is dead!'
Ses "Brooks is dead"
sAshero at his post he bravely fell;
=: glory bed
BE his. while requiem drges tell
a5-. A great soul fed
&, ssBrooks is dcad!' -s.
Hush'd is his clarion tones of eloquence,
His echoing tread .-......
No more be heard where in the truths Defence
He fearless led. -...-.-.sr.
"Brooks is dead"
And stern hearts ponder Ger his early 1ate'
And gloom is spread.
From mount to seaboard Of his cherished state
Fer ssBrooks is dead"
"Brooks is dead!"
And Carolina weeps her lov'd and lost,
And in his stead,
Asks who so brave and true shall hll his post
All! "Brooks is dead
"Brooks is dead!"
O'er the great sorrow Of his 'lov'd at home"
~ A veil be spread;
Alas that with such lightning speed has come,
Ass7. The anguish dread.
TX May He who said,
sThat as the day so should their strength be glVen
- healing spread, .... ...
In his good time upon the hearts so nSen,
Crush'd for the dead.
ssBrooks is dead!"
Oh. bring him back to his own sunny CLINE,
And smooth his bed,
Amid the lov'd scenes Of the Golden time,'
Bring back the dead.
"Brooks is dead !"
The patriot-statesman, the Palmettoo brave,
Who would have shed
His life blood thus his country's rights 10 save
And now--he's dead. vi. a. Ia.
Hohenlinden, Abberlle, S. c.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1857-02-19

pS- One boy, the other day, borrowed
stick of candy from a comrade, to show how
he could swallow it and pull it out of his ear.
He swallowed it, and then twisted himself
about in various ways to extract it, but at
length he Informed his companion that he
had forgotten that part of the trick.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1857-02-19

sg In a chancery suit, one of the coun-
sci describing the boundaries of his clients
lands, said, in showing the plan of il, 1--WE
lie on this side The opposite counsel then
said, saud we lie on that side The chan
cellor with good humored grin, observed,
If YOU lie on both sides, whom will ye have
me believer
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1857-02-19
LAW BLANKS!

WE have on hand, and are prepared to to supply
oil kinds of LAWYERS BLANKS in general de-
mand, printed on good paper and neatly pressed.
We offer them at rs cents u quire. Single half
Quire so cents. AS we have incurred considera-
BILE outlay to;enable US to furnish good article,
we will sell for CASH and CASH ONLY x
Our present stock, consists Of the following va
rieties viz: Sum Pro; Fl. Fa.; ri. Fa. on SNm.
Pro-; Copy Writ in Case; Copy Writ in DEBT; De-
clardtion on account; Declaration on Promissory
Note; Declaration on Bond or Sealed Note; Sab
pena Wrts; Subpoena Tickets, &c. r,;.s 49,
Gae Orders from distance promptly attended
to, if accompanied by the CASH!
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1857-02-19
| am very truly yours, &(
(Sionedl

Of this circular five hundred copies were
ordered The printer, having done the work,
brought it in person to our fnancier, and po-
litcly presented his Iittle bill The debtor
without being in the least disconnected, went
to his desk, in which he had just locked the
circulars, took out one of them, sat down,
signed his name with beautiful caligraphic
flourish, and gracefully handed it to the as
tonished typo. know that it is sometimes
difficult for editors to make their subscribers
spay up but this is carrying jokes upon
printers rather too far.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1857-02-19

Rar In Cork, short time ago, the crier
endeavored to disperse the crowd by exclaim-
ing, 'All ye blackguards that isn't lawyers,
quit the court
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1857-02-19

B9" De Quincy somewhere tells an anec-
dote of man who, on being threatened with
assault by eighteen tailors, cried out Come
on, both of youp
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1857-02-19
MySle1 NlUslell
Efai

4 LARGE and wcll-selectcd stock of PIANOS
n from the best makers can be had at FACTO-
RY PRICES, at RAMSAY'S PLANO and MUSIC
STORE, COLUMBIA, s. c.. Those Who wish to
procure very superior instrument con get Hal
lett, Davis & Co.'S PLANO, with the patent suspen-
sion bridge and metallic bearings, now among the
best Pianos in the world. Try one, and if it does
not prove well, the price will be refunded. Eve
ry Piano fully guaranteed.
Mr.. RAMSAY, being a practical Piano-maker
and an experienced dealer, can insure to his Gus
toners perfect instrument, and in the most per-
feet order
HGA,. No charge for boxing.
Also, on hand, Church and Parlor Melodeons,
Guitars, Violins, Accordeons, Flutinas, Banjos,
Strings &C., and general assortment of the la-
test and most approved Music.
References: Rev. J. NJ. Anderson, President Of
Yorkville Female College; Prof. j. H. Whitney,
Professor of Music.
Sept Is 80 ly
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1857-02-19

INDEpENDENcE.-Owing fifty thousand
dollars which you never intend to pay.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1857-02-19

DOING A PRINTER-A fnancier in en-
bryo, but who, up to the present moment,
has reaped nothing from his various specula-
tions except crowd of creditors, lately hit
upon the expedient, when hard pressed, of
asking for a brief extension of time. He
wrote and sent to printer a circular letter,
of which the following is a copy:
SIR: At the present moment, am un-
able to meet my pecuniary obligations. AS
soon as possible, I shall be most happy to
satisfy your claim.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1857-02-19

KEEN REJo1NDER. MIR. Bufum, of Lynn,
Mass, was under cross.examination by an
attorney named Lord, who did his best to
perplex and brow.beat him so as to oHerset
the testimony he had given against his client
The question was something relating to
machinery and Mr.. Buffum had used the
word 'philosophically' in his evidence. Mr.
Lord continually harped upon this phrase,
and endeavored to make the witness rldlcu-
lOus in the eyes of thejury. At last he en-
quired:
Pray, Mr.. Witness, as you seem to be a
great philosopher, can you tell me phi:osoph'
ically what the consequence would be if the
air should be exhausted from hogshcad !!
Yes, SIR replied Mr.. Buffum, 'thc head
would fall in
Indeed, sir pursued the counsel; 'can
you tell me, philosophically, why the head
should fall in first?
Yes, sir returned Bufum, sit is because
hogsheads are like some lawyers---thelr
heads are the weakest part
The roar of the court room acknowledged
the victory Of the witness over the counsel.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1857-02-19

There is an encouragement here, we fancy,
for the down-heartened; and likewise rebuke
for those who are continually harping on the
wrongs of the INDECENT, and the impossible
barriers between the high and the low.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1857-02-19

ng 'Hillo, little boy, where am l ? SAID
superanuated gentleman, who was standing
at the juncture of three post roads.
sWhy, on yer feet, amt yer"
sPshaw 1 mean where do these roads 60
to"
Them ere roads doesn't so any veres.-
They've been laying there ever since know
ed EN-
You young ragamufin! I mean which
of these roads will lead me to NIargburg
well, it doesn't matter which; they all
lead into Margburg, but they're not travel
led none
Not travelled none What do you mean
youugster?'
Don't call me young stir! cos I'm not
a stir; an the reason they don't travel them
ere roads now, are this; they is so cussed
crooked, that they isn't of no count. Why,
there was traveller started from these ere
forks morc'n a year ago, fur to 60 to Marg-
burg, an he aint got there yit, cos as fast as
he cits on the bee line for the town, he finds
himself going on the wrong 'un- | advise
yer to stand still and wait till the roads bring
the town round to yer. Goodbye too yer. :"