Daily Nashville patriot. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1857-1858, 1857-10-28
Another Harp sermon.

by BELOVED BREETHERIEs u am an unlarnt
pre-, cher, of Whom you've no Doubt heern before,
and appear To eXpound the scriptures and
pint out the narrow which leads from a vain
world 10 the streets Of IN Juroo5alun, and my
text which shall choose for the Occasion is in the
leds of The Bible somewhere betWeen the s coDd
ChropicIs and the last chapter Of Timothy Titus,
and when you will find it you i'll End it in these
words:
eAnd thew shall gnaw fe and Zee unto the
mountains Of Hepsidam, ghsr the lion rosreth aud
the wang doodle mourneth for its 6rst-born."
Now. my breetbrinG, have before told you,
am uneddicated man. and kHOw nothing about
grammar talk and coolidge highfsiOoiin bat Pm
plain unarnt preacher of the Go-p what's been
foreoFdained and called to exDOund the Scripters
to dyiIf world. and prepai preVeree generation
for the dsY of wrath; for they shall gnaW file and
ami fee unto the mountains of Hepsidam, whar
the lion roarefh and the wsng-doodle mourneth for
It's fFst-born."
My beluy-ed breethering. the text says they
shall gnaw fe." 1t don't say they may, but they
shall. And there's more'n one kind of file.
There's the haDd-saw file. rst-tail file single file,
double ile and profile; but the kind of file spoken
Of here isn't of them kind neither; because it's
q bigger Of speech, my bre. thering, and means
goin il alone, getting ukrred: for ''they hall gnaw
fle and fee unto the mouBtsius of Hepsidam,
Wbar he hon roareth ami the Nang-doodle mourn
eth for It's ir=t-bOrn.n
And now there be some here with fine close on
thar backs, brass rings thar fingers and lard on
thar har, what goes il while they'er young; and
thar be brothers here what, long thar cOnsti-
tutiOns and forty whisky last goes il blind;
and tbsr be sisters here what when they git six
teen years old, cut thar fillrF rop and goes it
win rush, but say, my dear breethrin, take care
you don't find when Gabriel blows his last trump
that you've all went il alone and got ukered; for
"they shall gnaw file and fee unto the noun
tains Of Hspsidam, whar the lion roareth and the
Wang-doodle mourneth for its frst-born"
And my brethren, there's more dams besides
Hepsidsm There's Rotterdam, Haddam, Alnster-
dam, mill-dam and dOn't-care-a-dam-the last OF
which, my dear breetherng, is the worst of ALL
and reminds of a ciFcum=tans / once knew IT,
the State Of Ilenoy. There was a man what bull
him a mill on the east fork OF Agur creek ana
it was a good mill and ground a site OF grain
but the man what built it was a miserable sinner
and never Civ anything to the church; and my
bre, theriDg, one night thar come a dreadful storm
OF wind and rain and the fountains of the great
deep were broken up, and the waters rushed
down and swept that mans mii-dam into king
dom come, and 10 and behold in the morning
when he got up he found he not worth dam.
Now, my young breetherng, when storms of temp
tation oVertske yP, take care you don't fall from
grace and become like that ml-not worth
dam; for 'thcy shall gnaw a file and fee unto the
mountans of Il psidam, whsr the lion roareth
and the wang-dOOdlr n,tn for its frst-horn."
"WhaT the lion Toareth aud the wang-doodla
mourneth for it's frst-born" Thi- pirt of the text
my breethering, is another fgger of speech, and
hown' wild. rness, whar John the hard shell D.
list fed on locusts and wild asses but it means
my breeth, ring, the city Of New YOreans the
mother of Harlots and hard lots-whar corn is
worth six tits busbel one day and marry red the
next; whar niggers are as thick as black bugs in
spoiled bacon ham, and gamblers, thieves and
pckpOck,ts go skitting about the street like Weas-
els IN barD-yard-Whar they have cream-colored
horscs, gldrd carriages marble saloons with bran
dy and sugar IN ''m-whar honest men are scarcer
than hens teeth, and a strange WON once tux in
your beluVed preacher and bambOoZled him out OF
two hundred and twenty -seven dollar in tn twin
king OF sleeps tail; but she can't do it again,
Halleujih for "they shall gnaw a file and fee un-
TO the mountains Of Hepsidam, whar the lion roar
eth and the wang-doodIe mourneth for it's first
born"
My breetherng, l am captain of that Aat-boat
you zee tied up thar, ami I've got aboard OF her
-four, bacon and oats, and potatoes and apples and
as good Monungehuly whisky you ever drank
and 10 MI hly apt tu git big price fUr it all
But what, oh, my breetherng, would it all be Huth
if hadn't reIdgion? ThaI's nuthin like religion
my breethering. It's better nor silver and gold
pmcracks, aud you can more get to heaven
without it than jay bird fly without a tail
Thank the Lord / am an uneddicated man, my
breetheriug, but I've sarched the Scrpters from
Dan TO Burshebee, aud found old Zion right side
up, and hard shell reldgins the best Of reIIdgins
And it's not like the Methodsts what expects to
git into heaven by hulIerin hell6re; nor like the
Universalist what gifts upon the broad gage and
goes the whole hog nor like the United Breether-
ing what takes each other by the of the trow
sers and tries to lift their selves into heaven nor
the Catherlcks what buys thru tickets from ther
Preests-but it may be lkened, my breethern.,
unto man what hid to cross river, and when he
got thar the rry boat gol =, and b" just rolled
up his breeches and waded oVrr-hallrlu4h! for
'they shall gnaw file and fee the mount ,ins
OF HrPsidam, whar the lion roareth and the wang.
doOdl mOurueth for its 6rst-born"
Pass the hat, brother Flint, and let every hard
shell shell out Amen.