Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1857-03-25
band and in the other hand the longed-for gar

band and in the other hand the longed-ior gar
ment.
What shameful deceit There was no GRIN
oline, but simple skirt, colorless and tormleSs
Jeanette would have tainted, but Valdemont
begged her TO restrain the impulse and attend
upon his motions; whereupon he drew out
small elastic pipe and through it blew with might
and main into the shapeless garment which
shortly developed itself into the noblest and
most colossal proportions. 1t was oflndia rub
ber cloth, and the fruit Of Valdemonts genius
and domestic trouble.
Jeanette, as may be supposed, was almost
beside herself for JOY at this discovery, the size
and grace of which far surpassed the most fam
Gus crinoline. She hugged her husband to her
heart, and thereafter each day walked out upon
the Boulevards, the envy of all the ladies, VINO
beheld in the circumference of her dress their
most cherished hopes excelled.
But, though the happiness of his wife was now
complete, there were some disagreeable clrcum-
stances attending upon this new peace. lie
found himself cruelty separated from his wife
by his unrelaxing invention. When arrayed in
her new garment no one could approach within
less than four feet of her person. To kiss her
was evidently impracticable to the attectionate
husband. To walk out as of yore, arm IN arm,
was also in the catalogue OF imposslbllitles. tie
could not even reach her extended hand, and
was obliged to devise small tray fastened to a
stick, by means of which to reach her such
smaller articles as she needed.
But more fatal than all this to his happiness
and even to his health, was the diurnal neces-
sity for filling with air the fatal garment. Inc
exertion was too great for him, and shortly his
lungs became seriously affected. But here his
chemical knowledge came again to his and. lie
| constructed vessels in which he was enabled t0
compress, by mechanical processes, such quantl-
ties of air as sufced to extend to its greatest la
/ titude his wite's skirt. The aperture in this
needed only to be securely fastened to an open
ing in the air vessel and a spigot turned, when
| in very few moments, the compressed air rush.
( ed into and extended the loved garment.
One evening Valdemont had gone out on busl-
ness. His wife, who desired to attend party
stood ready dressed upon the floor, anxlously
waiting his return-for she lacked yet one thing
of completeness-she was not inflated. The
minutes flew by, the time drew nigh for her de-
parture, yet no Valdemont appeared. Despair
inr of his return. madame at last sends her fem,
me de chambre into the laboratory for the aid
vessel, with the determination themselves to
make the application. The girl returns quickly
the short connecting pipe and withdraws the
stopper. The imitation proceeds with marvellous
celebrity, and in q few moments madame, to her
extreme delight has attained a greater breadth
than ever before But alas suddenly the poor
woman feels herself drawn upward from her
feet by some mysterious power Shrieking vain
" for help, she is waited out OF the open door
into the garden, and then the frantic servant
sees her ascend with terrible rapidly into mid
air. disappearing finally in the clouds
Just then Valdemont returned to his home.-
He hears the screams of the servant girl, and
hastens to inquire the cause. She points to the
supposititious air-recever, yet lying upon the
floor. In one moment the dreadful truth flashes
across his mind The receiver used contained
not air but hydrogen gas very highly compress
ed. intended for the imitation of a monster bal
loon. His Jeanette, by his own criminal care
lessness had misapped the dangerous gas, and
was now, alas floating away, at random, thro
space.
Walking along the Paris Boulevards of late
YOU may see torlorn looking man, staring with
vacant, soulless eyes towards the heavens, a:
though hoping to descry some extraordinary
thing in the clouds. 1t is the unfortunate Val
demont. who bereft at one fell blow of his sen
ses. and of the wife of his bosom, now yainly
gazes after the loved one lost
1t is known that there are certain laws which
govern comets and other slightly luminous bodies
moving in eccentric orbits. These laws of mo-
ton being applied by distinguished French as
tronomer to the case of Madame Valdemont, he
has determined that she will be again visible to
the unassisted eye of observers in 8 years, 2
months, and ~ days. 1t is hoped that, on the
occurrence of that event, measures may be ta'
ken to secure the unfortunate lady, and prevent
her farther rambling through space But as ere
that time arrives crinoline will be gone out OF
fashion, it is feared she will, on beholding the
comely shapes of the fashionable ladies OF that
sensible day. die of modification at the recollec
ton of her former inflated folly.