Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1857-04-30

There was great laff agin, and callin out
| for "order, ORDER" and that only made them
| laf louder. Just at this mint up jumped d
little humbly redfaced man, that had been
talking with John Smith ever so lone in q
whisper, and stickin his thumbs into the arm.
holes of his vest, sex he-"Alow me to ask
! the witness few questions, your honor"
The Judge bowed, aud the red faced man
| went Oh
Mrs. Tripe, you say you know Mr.. Jones
do yon know my client, Mr. John Smith ?,
Yes seq l."
"What do You know of him ?" sez he
Estate the good you know of him, if you
please"
i don't know any good of him." sez L
He robbed my hen roost last spring, of the
best pnllet and the hansumett Grower had in
the flock. That's the most | know of him,
any way"
" The witness may sit down" sez the Judge,
takin out his handkerchief and pretendin to
blow his nose, though tim my opinion he was
trying to keep from lafin
A madder feer than John Smith you never
seed but they wouldn't let him say a word.
and | was actilIy afeerd he'd bust, he was so
full of biln hot rage agin me-
There was great deal of talkin and dis
putin in the room-and arter awhile the Jury
sed they'd decided the case.
One of the jurymen stood up, and sed he
thought Smiths cow hadn't no bisness to
jump into JONES yard and deyour two of his
turups.
Another of EN- got up and sed he knowed
the COW hadn't ort to have jumped in, but the
turnps had no business to look so temptin and
for his part he thought the turnps was full as
much to blame as she was
Another of EN- Sed that Jones ought to pay
Smith for his cows KILN his dog, for the dog
he said was the ugliest crittcr upon the face of
the airth.
The judge sent EN- all off inter another
room to make up their rlinds what they'd do
and we SOt as still az mice waitin for EN- to
cum back. Byme by the door opened and in
they cum-twelye OF EN-, two and two and sct
down.
" Gentlemen Of the jury" seq the Judge,
" have you arrived at a conclusion p
All of EN- bowed their heads Sullumly.-
"Who shall speak for yon,' scz he, lookin as
indigniled as an owl on Il hoer tree
"Our foreman, Mr. Antipodes,n sez they,
with voiec
Mr.. AntipodeS riz up, slowly and steady,
Jest as you've seen EN- hist up rocks with a
derrick, as if he was Altered if he Silled over
might he should sprawl hisself on the floor =
AntipOdes is al orful CRATE man, and his head
is the biggest part Of him-rather top-heavy,
ye see.
May it please yer honor, and the court at
large" seq he, rolln his eyes round and round,
till they looked Ike two great dirty snowballS
Slidin down a hill, eve have decided that j ohm
Smith give to Mr. Sam. Jones the sum Of two
turnipS, as the amount Of damage done the lat
ter by tle excursion Of the formers COW into
the plaintiff primiSeS :"
There was considerable lafIin in court arter
this land one fcHer hollcred order !" so much
and 50 loud that they scd it was fact he
couldn't speak out loud for a week arter-
wards
Mr. Jones Civ me fifty cents for my services
and brought me home safe.
Smith paid him the two turnips, and they
(not the turnjps) are as good friends as ever
Sense that ar scrape, if ever Isee a COW
that looks as if she was agwine to jump in
any where, | jest turn my back to her and say
Go ahead ~