The day book. [volume] (Norfolk, Va.) 1857-1867, 1857-10-09

laid with powder on my Hps-Wlth a re-
port like heavens thunder whips, Or the
explosion av the evenin' gun-och, let
me have thin that way, livery one!
An Ohio politician was boasting, in a
public speech, that he could bring an ar
| gument to a pint as quick as any man.
"You can bring q quart to a pint
good deal quicker replied Kentucky
editor.
The question has been asked why it
is considered impolite to go into the pre-
sence of ladies in their shirt sleeves, while
it is considered in every way correct for the
ladies to appear before gentlemen with
out any sleeves at all.
Observation-Disclosures is-'Oh Bobby,
am going to have hoped dress, an
oyster shell bonnet, a pair of ear drops,
and babyp
Little Bub-The thunder you is! Well
I'm going to have pair Of tight pants, a
Shanghai coat, shaved head, crooked
cane, and pistol
The other Gay | went over to Dutch
grocery to get a one-dollar bill changed.
The Dutchman had heard of ter-dollar
b ills being altered from ones; he took the
one I offered, and held itup to the light.
What are you doing that for? I in
quired. His answer was brilliant
L wish to see if dish bill have been al
tered from ten dollar
Simpson says the ladies do not set their
caps for the gentlemen any more; they
spread their hoops.
The most mischievous liars are those
who keep just on tie verge of truth.
What neat things Charlie Lamb could
say. On d wet, miserable, foggy London
day in autumn, he was accosted by a beg
gar woman with PRAY, sir, bestow lit
tie charity upon poor destitute widow
woman who is perishing for lack of food
Believe me, sir, [ have seen better days
$50 have l. said Lamb, handing the poor
creature shilling; So have I; it's mis-
cradle day! Good bye. good byev
Half-witted people have a. talent of
talking much and saying little.
How to make money-Enquire at the
United States Mint.
When does man rob his wife?
When he "hooks" her dress.
What kind of sweetmeats did they
have in the Ark?
| Preserved Pairc
Why is a mushroom like dandy?
| Because it is rapid in it's growth, slim
in its trunk and thick in its head. ~.
An Indian, seeing belle dressed out in
full breadth of fashion, pass by him in the
street, was heard to exclaim, ''Heap wig
wan, ughW
We pass our lives in regretting the
| past, complaining of the present, and in
dulging false hopes of the future.
"Are you the mate of this ship ?" asked
an emigrant of the cook, who was an Irish
| man.
mo sir 1 am the man that cooks the
mate"
The Albany Dutchman says there is
man in Troy with nose so long that he
has had holes bored in it, and uses it o.
casionally for clarionet
Prentice, of the Louisville Journal,
says:
''The comet is a gay deceiver! he pro-
missed to jostle the earth, but he has only
Tilted her. The rogue has told tale, in
stead of showing one"
'Why am de beloved OBJ my heart, Miss
Dinah, de sunhower OBJ de hill, like kind
OBJ cloth dey make in Lowell ?"
81 don't know, niger. Why ?"
"Cos she's an an,bleached she-ti1sg'
The hoop question, like most others, has
two sides toit. The ladies take the IN
SIDE, of course.
A recruit going through the exercise of
sword cut, asked how he should parry.
"Never you mind that" said the old
hussar, ''only you cut letthe enemy par
ry."
Mr.. Kane tried to get at the pole to de-
post his vote, but the ice faction prevent
ed him.
What is good to raise mans spirit?
"Spirits."
Praislng people is like the great opiate
-Laudanum.
Cowardice consists not in having fear,
but in yielding to it. In well-ordered
minds. fear is the sentinel that wakes up
courage.
fone would see the nearest represen-
tation of hell on earth, let him look into
gold or silver mine.
1t is absurd to pronounce them the
most pious who never absent themselves
from the church