New Orleans daily crescent. [volume] ([New Orleans, La.]) 1851-1866, 1857-05-18
Clippings,
Clippings.
There are two diseases that have never been known
to prove fatal viz: Enlargement of the heart and
Information on the brain.

There are two diseases that have never been known
toprove fatal, viz: Enlargement of the heart and
| Information on the brain.
| Why is hungry boy, looking at the pudding in a
cook-shop window like wild horse? Because he
would be all the better if he had bit in his mouth
"Matrimony,' said modern Benedict the other
day, produces remarkable revolutions. Here am I.
for instance, in ten short months changed from q
signing lover to loving SIRE"
An old lady desired her worse half to look into
barrel that stood in the corner and tell her what he
saw. The old gentleman looked and thus answered !:
Oh. C.U.R.M.T.
The gentleman who attempted to cut his throat
rash attack upon his "victualing department" by
stabbing himself with point of honor.
The young lady who burst into tears has been put
together again.
When you strike balance has balance right
to strike you?
Is the three days grace on business paper in
any way connected with the Three Graces
FUTURE SrATE.-An Irishman, who had been re-
duced to mere shadow by a severe illness, was
asked by his physician what he thought of future
state. " All! dochter,' was the answer, " it makes
no difference yez amt left enough of me for the
devil to naturalze, no how
Figures are the ornaments of speech, and orna.
ments lose effect by being set too thick. -.
or its colors will deceive US.
pleasure is so lasting.
Nothing great can be effected without trouble and
labor.
The most sublime virtue is negative-it teaches lis
to do evil to no one.
A man without desire and without want is wtho ut
invention and without reason.
terestng to NOPE about the house and imagine your
self a victim touch Of real calamity is the only
cure for that whimsical complaint.
The attacks of the slanderer are like the bits of
mud dashed on You by passing cart. II you at
tempt to rub them off, you leave stain let them
dry, and they are easily effaced.
They have pig in Ohio so thoroughly educated
that he has taken to music. They regulate his time
by twisting his ta-the greater the twist the higher
the notes.
The funny man of the Thibodaux Minerva pokes
fun at Mr. Britsch editor of the Lafourche Jnon in
the following style:
Why are the French editorials of the Tin Trumpet
like a gentlemans unmentionables? Do you give it
up? Because they are Britschs,
Book vender to young gent" Buy book sir?
Here's Eugene Aram, by Bulwer only four shillings"
Humorous young gent" What do want that book
for am Mr.. Bulwer HIMSELF
Book vender (sarcastically) -" Well here's the
Women of Europe by Mrs Ellis. You amt Mrs.
Ellis, are you ~
Au Irish gentleman having purchased an alarm
clock an acquaintance asked him what he intended
to do with it. "O, said he, it's the most conve-
nient thing in the world for have nothing to do but
to pull the string and wake myself
B., medical man, says that those ladies who make
it a business to trouble drygoods clerks and never
buy anything, ought to be called counter iryitants
Think before you speak, think before whom you
speak, think what you speak.
The best time for a man to speak is when he has
something to say and silence often passes for
Ideas differ in various parts of the world Par er-
ample In the rude districts of California a mice
meal is said to consist of two biscuits baked
in pepper sauce Simple-but not calculated to be-
come popular, especially in this part of the world.
CHILpREN's IDEAS OF STARs.-The New York
Puritan says, little child of an acquaintance, who
had just begun to talk the other day said he thought
Heaven must be very pretty place. When asked
why, he replied-alluding to the stars They have
such pretty nails in the floor
THE WAY OF THE WoRLD-First Boy: "Say,
Bill, then you're getting dollar a week now?''
Second Boy Well you might knew that, by
SEEM all the felers come soapin' around me, that
wouldn't noticed me when | was poor"
A little boy, upon whom his mother was inficting
personal chastisement, said Give two or three
ticks more mother-I don't think | can behave well
yet"
Many women are beloved without knowing it, but
more women think they are beloved when they are
not. They generally discover their mistake after
marriage.
WISDOM.
Wisdom is with the heart. AS falls the dew,
On every plant beneath the freshening sky,
So wisdom may be found on every page
That bears the impress of an earnest spirit,
Seeking the good, and true, and beautiful.
.4aon.
Not wholly can the heart unearn
The lesson of its better hours,
Nor yet has Times dull footsteps worn
10 common dust that path of flowers.
IT, c. tVhittier.