Mineral Point tribune. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1854-1858, 1857-09-08
Jeems' first Experience as a Gallant.

"Jeems," of the Baldwinsville Gazette
that tall, gaunt, bat clever soulcd NOR
tai who preSldes over the columns of that
paper, and whose .'troubles at a Railroad
Depot at Syracuse have gone the rounds
gives the following graphic account OF
! 1.-The first time he went home with girl"
He says he feels impelled TO chronicle 1t
for the amusement of the public and the
special edlGcaton of certain members of
the editorial fraternity, who are forever
poking fun al him. Hear "Jeems":
! We were between sixteen and seven
/ teen years of age when the event about
10 be related transpired, and as descrip-
ton of our personal appearance at the
/ time, Is absolutely essential TO the point
! of our story, we will give 1t as concisely
as the subject Will allow. In reference
then to that period to say that we were
green IN the usual aeeeptatlon of that
! term, would give the reader but poor
| idea of the figure we displayed. Rather
! imagine a tall, lean, cadaverous looking
chap, with legs like pair of tongs, a
| countenanCe about as expressive as a plate
/ of Dutch cheese, Il mouth that came very
near making an island of all the head
above it, a face covered with furze that
| looked like the down on a newly hatched
| goslin, with gait that would lead the be-
holder to conclude that we designed 10
travel down both sides of the street a, the
same time, and you have a correct daguer-
reotype of Jeems in the seventeenth year
of his age.
One dark, gloomy night in the month
of December. we CHANGED to be at p
spelling school not a thousand miles
from BaldwInsyile, where our eve first
fell on " fairy form that immediately
set our susceptible heart In blaze. She
was sixteen or thereabouts, with bright
eyes, red cheeks and cherry lips, while
the auburn ringlets clustered in a wealth
of profuson around her beautiful head,
and her person, TO our ravished imagina-
ton was more perfect in form and outline,
than the faultleSs statue ever chiseled by
the sculptor art. As we gaZed, our feel
lngs which never before had aspIred girl
ward, We're fully aroused, and we deter
mined 70 go home with her that night or
per sh in the attempt. As soon, therefore,
as school was dismissed and our ':lady
love" suitably bonnelted and cloaked, we
approached TO offer our services as con-
templaled, and we then learned an import
F
RESOLVING and DOING. As we neared
her we were seized with partial blind
neSs-red, green, blue and yellow lights
flashed upon our vision, and disappeared
like witches in phantasamag gora-cua
knees smote together like Belshazza r5
I when he discovered the hand wrltinI o1
/ the wall, while cur heart thumped with
! apparently as was much force as itis
/ driving ten-Penny nails into our ribs
" c, III the meanllfne, managed 10 mum
bic over something which is perhaps
known TO the Recording Angel, but GER
talnly is not to us, at the same time poking
out our elbow as nearly al right angles
with our body as our physical coEhrma-
ton would admit.
The night air blew kecnIy which serv-
ed IN some sort 10 revive US, and as our
senses returned, what were our emotions
on finding the cherished object of our first
love clinging to our arm with all the te-
naclty of drowning man is SAID to clutch
at a straw. Talk of elysian, or sliding
down rainbows, or feeding on German
flutes, what sick phelinlis" in compare
son to those mighty ones that swelled our
bosom nigh unto the bursting off our waist
coat buttons. Our happiness was SUBJ
LINE sUBLIMITY sUBLIMELY sUBLIMIT-
Ed, and every person who has felt the
divine throbbings of fledged love princi-
pie, fully understands the world of bliss
couched ~ the fourth, fifth, sixth and sew
enth words at the commencement of this
sentence.
Well, we passed on pleasantly towards
our SaIIy's home, talking of ''love and
dove and dart and part" until 50 coura-
geous had we become that we actually
proposed "to 90 in and set awhile, to
which our Dulciena very graciously as
sented. Alas, for US, how soon were we
to be reminded that the course of true
love never did run smooth" ~
Sally had brother ofr some ten sum-
mers who accompanied us along the way,
and who was in wonderful high spirits at
the idea of his sisters having beaa, and
he would walk around us frequently, gig
Cling in the height of his glee, and eye
ing US as closely as if ourself and Sally
were world renowned Siamese twins, and
he was taking his first look. Bill, by the
way, was a stubbed chuckle-headed boy,
whose habilaments would have made the
fortune of any two dealers in mop-rags.
A length we reached the bars, and
while we were letting them down, Bill
shot past us and tore for the house as if
pursued by a thousand bulls Of Bashan.-
He flung open the the door with bang
and exclaimed at the top of his voice:
/" Mother Mother Jim Clark is CONF
IN HUM WITH SAIL"
as he7" screamed the old woman in
reply, "wALL, | DEcLAR | DIDN'T THINK
THE SAPHEAD TNEW