Nebraska advertiser. [volume] (Brownville, Nemaha County, N.T. [Neb.]) 1856-1882, 1857-07-09
Written for the ''Nebraska Advertiser. -
KISSING THE "WRoEe CUSTOMER"
BY TOM TURNIP.
Slow oft The sight Of means to DOLL deeds,

BY TOM TURNIP.
Slow oft the sight Of means to il deeds,
Makes i'll deeds done" -.SiaIespsare
I once had a cousin-that is, if fforty-I
t,go periods of time don't render void
that venerable title of relationship
and he was, what is generally termed,
"a Wild one" Plaguey good-Iooking
the fellow was, and withal a great
favOrite among the modern "Rachels,'
who, by the by, would, in that region,
with ''leetle" cOaxing, permit the same
token of affection to be exercised with
regard to themselves, as their illustri-
ous, ancestral, fair one 3id, when she
met Jacob at the well.
Besides, he had @wealth of gold in
store" provided a certain uncle, who
owned deal of property, didn't die
some day, forgetting to win it to his
nephew. lie was proud Of these
futurities, prouder of his good looks,
and proudest of his popularity, and
this last he managed with an over
abundance of "sang troid'' to keep
constantly on the increase.
Apart from number II, who is now
writing '-sans ceremonte" a detached
portion of his biograplp, he had sevc-
raj fair cousins hailing from the neigh
boring city, who came in no. L. These
generally paid Hap. -IIazard-(that's
what gce called our 42d friend, Hap.
being Harry for short IA visit every
writer, and the "times' they hadwerc
in no way to be compared to "sugar
and 'lasses.' They made perfect
'.Bable" Of the house from cellar to
garrett, and were . general terror to
sanctimonious Papas, and demure
mammas; not TO make mention Of su-
perstitions, prim, Oldmaids, and petite,
purring, pussy-cats.
Hap. had, likewise a couple Of
maiden aunts, dwelling in 4 distant vii
lage; either one or the other of which
generally passed the winter, or the
holiday part of it, with their brother
in-law and sister, Hap. 'sparents.
Aunt Parmelia was spending the
holidays in question, together with
Hap.'s cousins from the city, Emma
and Aline, and her Orcn white-spotted-
with-black pussy cat, Dodina, at the
Hazard farm, the cousins perfect rOmps,
Hap. ditto, and Aunt 'Melia the primest
of the prim.
Now, Hap. had a natural perchant
for kissiag-not ugly, old aunts, but
red-cheeked, rosy Tipped girls-cOusins
nots excepted ,-&c- As the fellow
said, che stole 'em whenever he got a
Glanced, and returned EN- whenever
demandeI;;" thus clearing UP the theft.
Aunt 'Mela despised such conduct;
classed it as extremely shamful" and
Outrageous and was almost ready to
boil over with fury, when she heard any
sly "smacking' going on about tic
premises.
Aunt ?. was knitting in the sitting
room, musing on the cups and downs
of life on the ''shady side Of thirty
three, and wondering if she was ever
so foolish as Hap. and his cousins, who
we're rOmping in the kitchen. Having
finally come to the conclusion that shc
never was, no, nege, she laid away hel
knitting, lookup her beloved cat-egor-
ical friend, Dodina, and seated herself
in her great armchair to enjoy, amid
: the sonorous purring of her favorite
the pleasures Of a reyerie. The cloci
had climed nine some minutes prcvi
Gus, and "papa and mamma had re
tired to their chamber. The @song 0
} pleasure" and the "burst Of revelry'
: vas still going on uninterrupted in thi
: kitehin, much to The delight Of the par