The Cadiz Democratic sentinel. [volume] (Cadiz, Ohio) 1854-1864, 1857-04-22
Dnmorous storpr. D.
SQUIRE BRAG'S LOBSTER EN-
PEESEENCE.
ny II. P. Il.

"WalH' said Squire Brag, as he folded his
arms and looked with contracted eyebrows at
an object on the table before him, II wonder
what in the name of blue thunder they'll get
mp in that dod darned York next? It's the
most psoncst lookn critter ever sot eyes on
and sort of looks as il it mout be made of old
copper kittlcs Jerusalem crkitS! how il
its arms about. may be it wouldn't nip q fel-
low with them teeth, all sot in atween its fin
gers, it'd pinch right through pair o cowhidc
boots. | guess it's meant 10 be eat. Now
who oh this green airth but Bill Flag would ev.
er sent such a critter as that up here in the
country? He mout have got some hollowboat
or sammon, or some Christian vittals; but them
city fellers they cat all kinds of trash, and
'spose we're as keerless as they are. Wal it's
human natur----" 'f4e
How long the Squire could have continued this
soliioquy, he best Knows "himsef" 1t was cut
short by the entrance of Mrs. Brag the Seuire's
wife, who, having been at neighbor's house,
was returning home as the, stage arrived, and
secing basket lef at the gate by the driver, had
hurrisdpof conrse,i ito crafty her curiosity as to
things contained therein s'7@
"What dye think o. that Nancy7'' asked the
Sldfe, pointing at the contents 'ofthe basket.
Lawful sa9les! well, I do declare Why
marcy on us, what on airth is it? AMI what is
itfor? And whore did it come from = --- > ~
AID here Mrs Brag elevated in spirits, and
catching at something comcal in the foreign air
and manners Of the Topping sprawling critter,''
laughed with might and main. '"a'os
"Thats a lobster, Nancy, York lobster
Bill Flag sent iton the hull way by express
and this letter long with it. Want to read it?
He says he knew we must like Holsters, and so
ferruded this betty feller, with his love for Gym
thy.g Wal he's smart,as. steel trap, dona
goodbizhsss; mighty likely ,feller; guess he'll
makea good husband for the gal; sbuto what on
this round ART airth didrae send is that lob-stlr
forY's8a "a efistia1aa sSam s#lr mts asaasbe
'Why, man alive, he sent ito eat of course
Bnt declare Squire, ! dun know, any mo,
than kin be how the critters to be cooled.n IA
"Put it down the cellar, Nancy I'll 60 over
to the tavern and ask Ira C!app; he knows all
about eatinand cookin yittaIs, il he don't know
nottiin else, And Squire Brag went over Y He
found the village iSoyer' in the barroom After
three quarters ofan hours sbirmishing; send
ing out advance guards, spies in fact trying ey-
cry way 70 find outthe eneiny's strength before
general engagement, he at length came to
close quaitefs witha question about lobsters.---
Squire Brag couldn't ask plain, straight7for-,
ward question: or give alike answer lie pre-
ferred an ellike progress, rejoicing more III
worming On answer out after two hours work,
than getting it in one minute by fair question.
He pridpd himself on his 'cuteness, smartness,
and wide-awake- -actiycness three possessions
admirably becoming . mental pickpocket.
nrsply 70 the Sqtire's question, Ira Clapp
gladly entered at full length into the natural
history ofthe animal, but was suddenly stopped
BY the Squire who, being 'as it wcre" Grand
Duke of lragylls decidedly hated to hear any
yace liIted Up oraeutarly except Squire Brag's
and sbsrr6Fs cut Ifa cIapp down, like grass Be-
fore q scythc, With e.f
II gness we know al bout that, Ira; what we
dui kaoS i bout tlhecookin on lob-stirs. Pm
gEyssS H#&F s4KB3t 444t