American union. [volume] (Morgantown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1855-1859, 1857-10-16
Drioinal Artilles.
A PATENT SERMON,

! ttoiso,DioCk NO. Il, illSn street,
/ Morgantown, Virginia, by TERRA
qua ITINERANTUs; and Reported
!. tor the Press, by Stenographor Scriv-
cner: llelg ilaa9 y s5rtra!
! & My hearers-rbeing alta loss to select
"a text comprehensive enough to reach
and cover your several cases, / shall
proceed to,dress, address, and perhaps
tundress you, under the several heads
which l may deem proper, in the prog
ress of my discourse.
But q just sense of. respect urges me
tthat the female portion ofqmy congre-
CATION 6rst claim my attention. a
10 you, then, personifications of my
Industrious grandmother Eve-rainbow
of beauty, promise, and preservation,
in the social heaven of universal man
kind angels Of light and life-yes,
angels for / have not authority to
SAY you are not every love Of you an
gels with wings, unless you we're dives
ted OF your gaudy equipages-- your
bunting, bran, hoops, hooks, cotton,
tcrinoline, and all. No, not L. Why,
| my beloved sisters in all your glorious
ily grandRoquent display of tlummery
land fashion, / have no doubt in my
Inexperienced, eruditc, and far-seeing
mind, but you were originally created
lfairy-winged creatures, terra.terial.
ETHEREAL conceptions and perfections, -
just for all the world such as are rep
resented in good old Bunyan's s'Pil-
grim Progress > and because of your
becoming SO troublesome in yourpereg-
rlnations, youwere shorn of those beau
tiful; reereatiye appendages, somewhat
after the mode of curtailing the pinions
of certain barn,yard fowl, to keep
him on his own dung-hill. Yes, my
sisters in Sin, those beautiful aerial, fix.
lins o'fgrew small by degrees and beau
tifully less,' ON sonte@hat the same, if
not tho self-same, identical, hnmistak-
able, incontestable, incontrovertible,
indubitablc principle, upon which Afri-
canus Baboonus lost his tail, when he
began to degenerate into irst.rate
musk-scented nigger Just for all the
world such as Governor Wise had in
his prolific minds eye when he descen-
ded to the ebony shades of the two old
colorcd individuals, Ebo Shin and
Gizzard Foot, in his celebrated phil.
ippic against Sam, and all niggcrdom.
That's so.
Furthermore, my dear sisters, am
laborihg under the strongest mental
and moral conviction, that grandmother
Eve had wings yeritable wings, and
that they were concealed from Juvenile
granddaddy Adam vision, by the fig
leaf dress. There is no doubt Of it.
Oh, you miserably sceptical creatures
Well, if she hadn't wings, it was inten-
ued, no doubt, that Adam was to Id
Dor, in his ignorahce Of the real facts
IN the casej under this pious delusion.
If, however, granddaddy Adam did
make this discovery, he was guilty of
taking liberties not authorized or sane
toned by our code of gentiltt Of the
present. day. And that's so too. But,
then, those were the primitive days Of
gentility ard the purity instituted in
the Initiative or inductive of pro. .crea-
tion. It's all right-if not, we are re.
quired to believe so, which makes it
right anyhow Volens. And
furtlietj my fair sistcrsy my ilea and
reasoning that you We're once blessed
with appendages enabling you to tra-
verse illimitable spacc-.that you were
celestial creatures--are strengthened
in the conviction in the mind of every
sane brother within the sound of my
voice, of your Unsuitable procliyity and
propensity to perpetrate and perpetu-
ate universal vocal perpetual motion
the nature is strengthening my
logic. (In further confirmation of my
above conviction, scarcely need refer
you to the account of the celebrated
traveller, Petor Wilkins, who tells us
he had a winged wife, andknew whole
country of winged people.) Yes, thanks
be to whom thanks are due, my blessed
sisters, every comf4rti is not taken from
you. 1t is a scientific and philcsophic
opinion, that if we are deprived Of one
limb or member of the body, the force
OF the lost onc is given or impaired to
another, making it doubly strong; and
50 the strength of the wings is centred
m The tongue, giving il q thrce'fold
power, enabling it to traverse the social
circle round, casting its venom upon its
haplcss victims. Your last state is tru-
ly worse than tho first. ttow arc the
mighty fallen. That you are deeener-
ate witches of sin---some of you--only
some of you---thero is no question. -
That a revolution in your moral struc-
lures, if not your physical, should take
place and speedily, is a solf.cyidcnt
Ecohviction in every conscientious crca-