Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1857-02-05
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= The actions of man tell of what kind
he is, as do the fruits of tree.
= The man who couldn't stand it any Ion
ger, has taken seat, and now feels quite
comfortable.
= The editor-in-chief ofthe London Times
has the same salary as the President Of the
United States-S25. 600.
"A woman advertising for husband,
wants him not only to be strictly religious,
but of good character
There is a man in Connecticut who has
such hatred Of anything like monarchy
that he won't wear crown on his hat
What difference is there in the man who
once kept horse, and now has sold it He
then rode along the walks, and now he walks
along the road.
"A couple, named Jerry Better and Lou
isa Well, were married at the cathedral, in
Cincinnati, on Saturday Louisa was Well,
but now she is Better.
-By my eyes, Jack" exclaimed tar,
seeing soldier chained to cannon ball for
punishment, 'if there amt soldier at an.
chor' -.-
"A shower of puppies is reported to have
taken place somewhere out west, which is
supposed to have been caused by their being
kicked out of the dog star.
- 'Have you Goldsmith's Greece p asked
gentleman, on entering book store mo,
sir; but they have some excellent bears oil
in the next door, replied the counter boy.
An will ye be afther telling what kind
O. baste ye call this, said newly arrived
Irishman, holding up a wasp between his
thumb and finger. Och, murder -spake
quick, for he's biting mev
"A clergyman asked of his scripture pu-
pills whether "the leopard could change his
spots" sTo be sure" replied Billy, as
prompt as might be; "when he's got tired
of one spot he goes to another"
: An elephant once nearly killed an Irish
man for an insult offered to his trunk. 'The
act was rash in the extreme; but it was i'm
possible the Hibernian said, ito resist a
nose you could pull with both hands,
- To ascertain the length of the day and
night, any time of the year, double the time
of the suns rising, which gives the length
of the night, and double the time of its set
ting, which gives the length of the day.
A would-be prophet down South, lately
said in one of his sermons, that he was sent
to redeem the world and all things therein.
Upon hearing this, native pulled out two
five dollar bills on broken banks, and request
ed him to fork over the specie for them.
- Il was a judicious resolution of father,
when, being asked what he intended to do
with his girls, he replied, 4 intend to ap-
prentice them to their excellent mother, that
they may learn the art of improving time,
and be fitted to become wives, mothers, and
heads of families, and useful members of
society,"
The term swell has generally been ap-
piled to over-dressed gentlemen but if the
ladies' dresses 60 on expanding at their pre-
sent rate to balooniness, we shall soon see
the little boys running after lady who may.
be as broad as an omnibus, and hear them
crying out lustily-sThere goes swellp
"A gentleman thought he'd like some
thing painted in the hall of a new house,
and chose the Israelites passing over the Red
Sea. He engaged a man for the job, who
went to work and painted the hall red. Nice
COLOR said he, 'but where are the Israelites?'
'Oh, they've passed over p
--sWhat are you going to give me for
Christmas present ? asked 4 gay young dam
sci of her lover.
Il have nothing to give but my humble
self, was the reply.
The smallest favors gratefully received
was the response
--s sHow fortunate | am in meeting a rain
beau in this Storm said a young lady who
was caught in a shower the other day to her
Dean of promise who happcncd along with
an umbrella. 'And I, said he, gallantly,
'am as much rejoiced as the poor Laplander
when he has caught rein deer.'
"A pert lawyer in the South lately insult
ed the Judge, who fined him $50. He re-
peated the insult, and the Judge doubled
the fine; he tried it again, and he trebled it.
Finally, he asked permission to 60 home
what for?' asked the Judge. 'To buy
your honors paper at ten per ccnt, to pay my
fne' ....-
- They are deeply religious people in
Rhode Island, if the following be true: A
Connecticut schoollnaster asked a lad from
Newport, show many Gods are there ? The
boy, after scratching his head some time, re-
plied-I don't know how many you've got
in Connecticut, but We have none in Rhode
Island
When Foote was at Salt Hill, he dined
at the Castle and when Partridge produced
the bill, which was rather exorbtant, Foote
asked his name. s..,.t-... ...
Partridge; an it please you p replied he.
Partridge, replied Foote, it should be
Woodcock, by the length of your bill
= Two old gentlemen of our acquaintance
were complimenting each other on their hab-
its of temperance:
did you ever, neighbor,' said one, 'see
me with more than could carry?'