davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1857-11-19
Search for Happiness.

A wealthy epicure applied to an Ara
bian doctor for prescription that would
restore his body to health, and give hap
piness to his mind. The physician ad
vised him to change shirts with man
who was perfectly contented with his
lot. Whereupon the patient set out on
journey in pursuit of such person.
After many months spent without ac-
complishing his object he was told of
certain cobbler of whom every one had
spoken as a model of contentmcnt and
happiness. Pursuing the direction Civ
en-, the traveller was at length rewarded
with the Sight of the cobbler enjoying
comfortable nap on board. With
out any ceremony he was aroused from
his slumblers and the important inter
rogatory whether he was contented with
his lot was answered in the affirmative.
''Thcn,'' said the seeker after happi-
ness, 81 have one small boon to ask at
your hands-it is that you exchange
shirts with me, that by this means al
so may become contented and happy
"Most gladly would 1 accede to thy
request?' replied the cobbler, but
''Nay refuse me not, interrupted the
man of wealth; any sum that you name
shall be thine"
II seek not thy wealth." said the
eobbler, "but--but-" ..-
"But what?'' ...
"But-the truth isl haze no shirt !"
pg- Here is one of Thomas Moore's
epitaphs on one John Shaw, deceased
a cocker" on dead lawyer:
"Here lies, John Shaw, .n.
.t Attorney at law; -.. -...
-.-- When he died, ...a
re-, r. The devil cried,
.-- Give us your paw,
John Shaw, ~j
Attorney at law
------------------
m- "Hallo, there, how do you sell
wood?" o*' o-s -@ -.
"By the cord .
sPshaw how long has it been cut ?"
"Four feet .- .r.-..
.'How dumb IL mean how long has
it been since you cut it?'' -......
"Mo longer than it is now"
"See here, old fellow, you are too
bright to live long
Ba- "Dear me, how fluidly he does
talk p exclaimed Mrs Partington recent
ly at temperance lecture. 81 am al
ways rejoincd when he mounts the nos
trum, for his eloquenee warns me in ev-
cry nerve and cartridge of my body
Verdigris itself couldn't be more smooth
than his blessed tongue is"
Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1857-11-19
na "What is pawnbroker:?n

GA chess player who checkmates So
ciety with "pawn." iii
Does he give any entertainment in
honor of his business ?" ..' Ii
"Yes, three balls u I'ol
"No -dinner?"5 @NHHa '.-
"Nonc, With him it is ;;'Lent'' all the
year round. i'''- .. = .ai ''t4.,-
MISS Hoops' VIEw.-In one of Car
oline Gilman S romances, (hbrary copy)
this passage was marked and much
thumbed:-, .'-oTE ..-- Z -
;''There is no object so beautiful to
me as a Conscientious young mani
watch, him as a star in heaven .'-
III @That is my vlowalex -actly y sighed
Miss Josephine Hoops, as she laid down
the volume; "in fact, L think that there S
nothing so beautiful as a young man,
even if he oht conscientious"
Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1857-11-19

Too BAD.-A sea sick lover wrote his
inamorata, that he had got thirsty, and
took drink of the ocean wave but, ;.just
to plague him, they'd gone and saIted the
water" They will play such tricks on
Travellers.
Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1857-11-19
5flfrt Attrq.
A Dirge for the Beautiful.


! Softly. peacefully lay her to rests. atd---1 d
% Place the turf lightlyion her young breast; 4 I
Gently, solomenly. bend DER the bed;
Where ye have Plliowed thus early her head
Plant a young willow close by her grave; -
O let its long branches mourufuIly wave;
Twine sweet rose-tree over the tomb:
Sprinkle fresh buds here beauty and bloom
Leta bright foantain. Hmpid and clear,
.Mnrmur its music, smile Ehr ugh a tear (. o.
Scatter its dimonds where the loved one lies.
Brilliant and starry, like angels eyes
Then shalt the bright BRIDE on golden wing,
Lingering over, murmuring sing;
Then shall the soft breeze pensively sigh,
: Bearing sweet fragrance and melody by
iHJ ~ ouIIJ 9II - IL -- S4--.-JG 80
lay thez znd softly over her bScast.G .A.l.
Calm are her islumbers, peaeeful ler rest,
Beautiful, lovely. she has been taken
7 A fair flower Of earth, to blossom in Heaven
Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1857-11-19

w Some one has said of those who
die young, that ''they are like the lambs
which the Alpine shepherds bear in their
arms to higher, greener pastures, that
the focks may follow" -.....-.
Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1857-11-19

B9- An old bachelor who had heard
that mosquitoes prefer the flesh of in
fants to that of more mature individuals,
advertises for half dozen babies to sleep
in the room with him. 80
Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1857-11-19

Bg- a culprit being asked what he
had to say why sentence of death should
not be recorded against him, replied
"He had nothing to say, as too much
had been said already ..rt
Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1857-11-19

Eg- The Albany Kniekerbocker says
that there is man in Greenbush who be
lieves in rotation of crops. One year
he raises nothing, the next year weeds.
Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1857-11-19

RO- An admircr of fine dogs having
a new litter of fine. breed, a friend
wished him to put him down for a pup
.py. II set you down for one a great
while ago." was the answer. .
Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1857-11-19

na- A clergyman asked of his scrip
ture pupil whether "The leopard could
change his spots" "To- be snre," re-
piled Billy, "whsn he's got tired Of one
spot he goes to another. ~
Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1857-11-19

na- Affection, like spring flowers,
breaks through the most frozen ground
at last and the heart which seeks for
another heart to make, it happy, will
never seek in vain
Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1857-11-19

nA- More hearts pine away in secret
anguish, for the want of kindness from
those who should be their comforters,
than for any other calamity in life.
Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1857-11-19

pa-In state of mental absence a
young man demanded the hand of
young lady, and only perceived his er-
ror when he got her fathers foot.
Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1857-11-19
II NUMBER @KHXXF..
How to Tell.

Here is aFbit ofaadyiee' to 50ung Ia
dies, setting forth how they may know
whether young gallant is really court
ing them, or only paying them polite
attentions { The confouudfng the. one
with the other has been the source of
very much trouble, both before and since
the era Of Mr.. Pickwick and Mrs Bar
dell ! tHS'l roo / - '-'' '17.''- =. j y p
A young man admires a pretty girl
and must manifest it. He can t help do
ing SO for the life of him. The. young
lady h as tender heart, reaching out
like vine tendrils for something to cling
to- She sees the admirationi is hatter-
ed; begins soon to love; expects some
tender ayowal; and perhaps gets SO far
as to decide that she will choose white
satin under that gauze, &C., at the very
moment that the gallant She half loves
is popping the question to another dam
sci ten miles off i'a2 TO IL a'i" h5i
Now the difficulty lies in not precise.
ly understanding the difference Between
polite attentions and the tender tnahi-
festations of love-, p. .Admiring beauti-
full girl, and wishing to make a wife. Of
ilGT, are uOL dlWdJS IAC
therefore it is necessary that the damscI
be on the alert to discover to which class
the attentions paid her fashionable young,
men. belong. do ID. r.. e5;T r-r.n.,
First, then if a young man greets you.
in a loud hearty tone-if he kuows pre-
cisely where to put his hauds-stares
you straight in the eye with his mouth
wide open; if no turns his back to you
to speak to another; if he tells yon who
made his coat /; if he fails to talk very
kindly to your mother; if he sneezcs
when you are singing, critizises your
curls, or fails to be foolish fifty times
every hour, then don't fall in love with
him for the world He ouly admircs
you let him say what he will to the con
trary- - 81 a f7"-- r -.f
On the other hand, if he be me:rJ
with everybody else but quiet with u u;
if he be anxious to see your tea is sut-
sweetened, your dear person
we'll wrapped up when you go out into
the cold 1; if he talks very low and never
looks you steadily in the eye; if his
cheeks are red his nose only blushes, it.
is enough. If he romps with your sis
ter, sighs like pair of old bellows, looks
solemn when you are addressed by ana
other gentleman, and in fact is the most.
still, awkward, stupid, yet anxious of
all your male friends, you may go ahead
and make the poor fellow too happy for
his skin to hold him !! l-f
Young ladies keep your hearts in a
case of good leather, or some other tough
substance, until the right one is found
beyond doubt, after which you can go.
ON and love and court and be married
and happy, without the least bit of tfoub-
lie. - re-
We consider this advice so sensible,
that although it is somewhat open to the
charge of bluntness, we have no hesita-
ton in pressing it upon the attention of
our lady readers. i ....
Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1857-11-19

n9- 1t is mistake to suppose every
man you see with brick in his hat is a
mason. -....
Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1857-11-19

B@- elf 1 dared,' writes CORES
pondent, II would hint to some Of the
Ladies who engage in whirling dances,
that it might be we'll to load the bottom
of their dresses, at least the back part. %
Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1857-11-19

pA. NoNsENsE-sense that happens
to differ from our own. 80
Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1857-11-19

R1~ The man who ''took offence"
subsequently brought it back.
Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1857-11-19

Another.-When the contents of de-
canter are "applied to the neck" inward,
ly, and the owner of said neck becomes
'.too tight" bucket of icewater poured
over his corporosity, will cause the tight
to disappear, and the police will be saved
the trouble of removing him to the watch
house. ..
Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1857-11-19

pA. An honest Hibernian trundling
along a hand cart containing all his
moveables, was aecosted by friend
with
"Well, Patrick, you are moving again,
1 see." --
Faith, I am," he replied, "The times
are so hard, it's a dale chaper, hiring
hand carts than paying rints."
Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1857-11-19

na- A widow said one day to her
daughter: 'sWhen you are of my age,
ayes, mamma" replied the thoughtless
little hussy, s'for the second time" e.
Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1857-11-19

THE BEST THING OUT.-A friend
has furnished US the following copy of
a sign over the door of respectable
looking house near Chichester, Eng
land :-s'HER LIFs l 90 oUERs A COOS. p"
Any joker that can translate the
above, at one reading, can "take our
hat!' We have frequently published
"the march of the schoolmaster," but
recollcct nothing equal to this. Now,
if you desire 10 have some fun. just
'turn down the leaf" and ask friend
to translate it. We subjoin it:-HERE
LIVES ONE WHO CURES AGUEs." Sup
posed to be some pumpkins more or
less Spirit of the Times.
Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1857-11-19

BG- The old Keystone State sends us
the best election incidents here are two
from correspondent in York County Z:
II was one of the Election Board
The time had come for the closing of the
polls. But we were waiting for one more
vote that the knowing ones had been
told was sure to come, and perhaps the
fate of Old Buck might hang on that
one vote. Presently loud cries of Yer
he is = Hurry up, ole feller ? assured
US he was on hand, and the independent
voter approached, extending his hand
with the Democratic ticket and therdes-
tiny of his country in it. 1t was neces-
sary to swear him, and asked:
"Do you swear or affirm - -
"He hesitated moment and said
'WhatY 3. q. -i ... --....-.. VI.
Irepcated DO you swear or affir ?;
"No says he, I'm shoemaker
"In the course of the day another
man had discovered the same ignorance
by replying totmy question:
"Do you swear or affirm -. ...
Yes, Sir, I'm firm! Yes, Sir, very
frm!''
Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1857-11-19

"Sur: my Wiaf is ded and wonts to
berried to morror, At wonnur klok. Z
nose wair to digg the Hole-by thee
said OF my Uther Wiaf--Let it be
deenn -. - IL.
Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1857-11-19

pg- "A Western editor closes pret
ty long article by saying:
awe have no rum for further remarks
to-day" ... ... ..- t..-
He had better send out and get some,
if he can't manage to write without it.
Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1857-11-19

A REc1PE-Whcn the stopper of
glass decanter is tight, cloth wet with
hot water and applied to the neck, viii
cause the glass to expand, and the stop
per can be removed :-E!rchdnoe ..---
Preble County Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1857-1859, 1857-11-19

B@- The following order, verbatim ct
Hteratim, was received by an undertaken
in the Bowery last Friday morning,
from an afflicted widower living in
Pearl street = - -
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1857-07-04
GRANT Co. herald
LANCASTER, WIS, JULY 9Th, 1857.
TeHeerapI,il,g through water.


Ihsve seen several astieles IN the Ma
tional Iatelligencer and other papers, from
Europeans and Americans, claiming
late originality in the success in this ex
pertinent. As everything connected with
the subject has peculiar interest at TINS
time, / send you an excract OF letter
written qy DR.. Franklin to Peter Coiinson'
ofLondon. The doctor says:
"Chagrined little that we have hlti-
erto been able to produce nothing IN thl'
wav Of use 10 mankind, and the hot wealth
er coming on, when electrical experiment,
are not so very agreeable, it is proposed
to put an end to them for the season.
somewhat humorously, in party Of pleas
ure on the bank of the Scnylkill. spirits
at the same time are to be fred by spari
sent from side to side through the river
without any other conductor than the wa
ter; an experiment which we sometime
since performed to the establishment OF th'
navy.
A turkey is to be killed for our Dime
by the electric shock, and roasted by th'
electric jack, by fire kindled by the cleo
trio bottle; when the health Of the famou
electriaus Of England, Holland, France an'
Germany are to be drank in electrfiee
bumpers, under discharge of gnns ffon
the electric battery. y National IntclIl
gencer.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1857-07-04

The LAST MErHoD.-The "peppel
dodge" is the latest method of street rob
berry in New York. The process is this
a scamp brushes past a pedestrian in the
dark and filings quantity of cayenne il
his eyes and then takes to his heels. A
confsdert e comes up to The person assault
ted, to sympathize with him and 10 see
"what is the matter, the fellow meanwhile
relieving the unfortunate of his yaluables,
and applying an extra allowance of pepper.
The thing is done III the twinkling of an
eye, and the police say it is by far the most
atrocious invention metropolitan villainly
has yet hit upon.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1857-07-04

The Six FoLLIEs or ScIENcE.-These
are usually said to be the following The
quadratual of the circle; the establishments
ofperpetual motion; the philosophers stone
or the transmutation of metals; diyinat:or
or discovery of secrets by magic; and last
y, Judicial astrology.
ES An Irish advertisement in a city pa
per reads: Lost onSaturday last, but The
loser don't know where, an empty bag
with cheese in it. On the sack the Letters
I. q. are marked, but SO much worn al
not to be seem"
EgThe State debt of California < ~,
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1857-07-04

ORleIN OF SLANDER.-Mother Ja>pe!
told me that she heard Greetwood's wife
say that John Harston's aunt mentioned &c
hersthat Mrs. Lucy was present when the
widow Barkman said that Harial's cousin
thought Ensig4 Doolitte's sister believed
that old Mrs Oxley rcckoned that San
Trifle's better half had told Mrs. Spaulllins
that she heard John Rheumer's wife say
that Mrs. Gerry ought to be ashamed o
herself
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1857-07-04
Probate Notice Iark.

State of Wisconsin, County of Grant County Court
in Probate June Term 1851 Present, Stephen o.
Paine, Judge.
In thelnatte Of the estate of Moses G. Clark deceased
I'm his day DaDiel Perry, administrator Of the
estate of said deceased and filed in this court bis
petition for an extension of the time allowed him by
law FOR the settlement of said estate for said
clifton named.
Ard thcrcupont is ordered that the matter of said
petition bo heard tefore the Judge Of this at the
office of said Judge i'll PatGeYie in said county, the
3 day of July, 1887 ri 10 o'clock A. NJ. and that notice
thereof 5e given by publishing this order for three
cessye previous to said day of hearing in the
''Eirant County Herald weekly newspaper published
i'll Lancaster in said county.
STEPHEN O. PAINE, County Judge
Dated June 18th, 1857. 52-3w
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1857-07-04

Eg' The public debt of Canada, il
S49,o0o,o0o, Of which S40,oo0,ooo ha:
been expended in public works and Rail
roads. The annual expenditure for the
support of the government and interest on
the. debt is about 100000. The Grand
Trunk Railroad has already cost $40. Ooo,.
600, and TO complete it $40, ooo, 900 more
is required.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1857-07-04
"a The Cincinnati Gazette is rcspons

81 The Cincinnati Gazette is response
bic for the following tough story:
zone of Gov SHADES school lna ans has
got into place out West, where the chill
dren never heard prayer or Preaching
So, one day, when she commenced hei
school with prayer, one of the youngsters
went home and reported:
"You did never see such a school-marm
She got down on her knees and swore with
all her mightp
1t might be true, for we once heard q
grown up boy at the east, who never heard
anything about God, except to hear hi.
father say "God damn. > Free Democrat
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1857-07-04
MERCHANDISE.
r. Tofice-Isealers atLancaster.

Take Notice Dealers at Lancaster.
YEyHE undersigned having one of the Largest and
I best Stocks of MERCHANDISE ever brought to
the country invites general cali of tie pubic, and
generous share Of patronage.
Or Stock Embraces
f, and nerfect assortment of all in the line OF Dry
Goods roceries Hardware, Boots and Shoes, Hats ana
Caps Clothing; also, Furniture and furnishings for hou-
SEES and an endless quantity If marketable articles ol
every kind of use
Salt, Sugar, lMozasses,
Rice and other heavy Groceries of every kind and al
prices as low as can be had in the country
Produce.
We want all kinds of produces is wheat OATS BEANS bar
lev &e., in payment at cash prices
n. B. The highest price viii be paid for Hides
10 GEO ". RYLAND & Co.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1857-07-04
Summons Bromley. &c.

State Of Wisconsin, County of Grant, ss.Giant Circuit
Court
John L Hancock, Plaintiff Us. Roger Bromley, Betsoy
Bromley his wife, and Abort Estabrook, defendants
FE1D Roger Bromley, E}etsey Bromley his wife,
4 end Albert aSstabs0Ok, Defendants: You are
hereb: summoned and required to answer the com
paint in this action which will be filed in the Office of
the Clerk Of the Circuit Court Of said county ofGant, at
the Court House i'll Lancaster, in said county, and to
cory Of yonT at my Office in Platte
vc in said county within twenty Ia after the service
Of this summons You, exclusive of the day Of service
thereof and il you fail to the said complaint
within Tie time aforesaid the plaintiff in this action
will APPLY to the court for the relief demanded in the
complaint.
s. o. PAINE, Plaintiffs Atty.
Ia ed June Sth 1857 52-Gw
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1857-07-04
In Probate

State Of Wisconsin, County of Grant, County Court
June 9th, 1897. Present, Stephen Q. Paine, Judge.
I'm this day Thomas Chapman the administrator
and Elizabeth Kay, administrators, Of the estate of
said deceased and iled in this Court their petition for Ii
cease sell certain real estate particularly described in
said petition, fer reasons in said petition named
Aad Aereuron il is ordered that the matter OF said Pc
tion be heard before the judge OF this court at heCour
House in Lancaster in said county, the first Monday
OF August A. D. 1857 at O'Clock in the afternoon
And it is further ordered that notice thereof given
to all rersoas concerned by publishing this order for
four successive weeks previous to said day hearing
the s.Giant County Herald, weekly newspaper publish
cd IN Lancaster in said county
STEPHEN 0. PAINE,
Dated June 9th, 1857. 51-4t County Judge.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1857-07-04
PREMTuM FANEING MILIs.

=.
nj ABE by the the subscriber which has taken til g
w Premium every in this state; they are made
good seasoned lumber and put together in good work
naniikc manner, and warrented to do good business IN
leaning and durable with proper Mills taken to
my part Of The country for liberal charges Mills always
ln hald and or sale cheap for cash All kinds of cot,n-
ny fre0uce taken in exchange for mills. Corn Shelters
II the nest pattern wire and screenery Of all kinds al
ways on hand Repairing done on short notice.
Al orders from abroad will receive prompt attention
md flled with dispatch. =
You will always find me at thu shon Ia ,v.;. -,
r. SCOTT
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1857-07-04
In prohate-McMas far

State of Wisconsin, County of Grant, ss.-County Court
June, 9TH, 1857. Present, Stephen 0. Paine Judge.
In the matter Of the estate Of Seth W. McMaster decoas
ed.
ON reading and fling the petition of Aaron Rieser
~ of the town Lima in said county, representing
among other things that the goth day October A.
D. 1852 the sad deceased contracted con1e him
en- rods ho west side of the southwest quarter of the
northwest quarerseeon tSenty jim townshipNo
fcur[ north of range NooneG jim sidGounty ant
and claiming that he the said petitioner is entitled to
CONVEYANCE Of said premises and praying that William
Graham, the administration Of said estate be authorized
and directed by decree of this court to make and execute
conveyance of said premises him the said petitioner
Il is heroupon oroefed that the matter of said PEI
tion he heard before the Judge of this Court at the
Probate office III said county, The first Monday OF Au-
gust 1857, at O'Clock in the afeinoon.And that
notice thereof be given to all persons interested by pub
lsh TINS order for six successive weeks in the rant
County Herald, weekly newspaper published in Lam
caster in said county. STEPHEN o. PAINE,
5l-0w County Judge