Semi-weekly standard. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1853-18??, 1857-04-25

J. JOHN PHOENIX EN- ROUTE FOR New ORLEANs.-
"John Phoenix" in q letter which is published in
the April number Of the Knickerbocker, describes
his trip from Boston to New Orleans. This letter is
irresstibly comic, Of course, but can only give
our readers taste of its quality and contents. He
says:
"On the fifth Of January, at eight A. NJ, left the
fremont House in a hackney carriage, the wheels
whereof had turned into runners. This method of
progression, rendered necessary by the deep SHOWS,
is considered great amusement at the north. Be-
ing particularly dangerous to life and limb, and
usually terminating in pulmonary consumption the
pastIne is very properly called slcighing."
There is sharp satire in the following sentence,
which will readily be appreciated by railroad rav-
ele,s:
'On entering railroad car the first object Of the
solitary traveller should be to secure an entire seat
to himself. This may generally be done successful
ly by taking the outside seat and skillfully dsposng
a small carpet-bag great coat, umbrella and cane,
SO as to cover the inner one. As the passengers
throng into the car, many will gaze earnestly at the
place thus occupied but will usually prefer to
on rather than give you trouble; but if the car is
quite filled, the question will undoubtedly be asked
SIS that seat taken STRIP when you should reply with
an imperturhable counenance 1t is, sir! and the
inquirer, with perhaps slight glance of suspicion,
will move on. AS a mans object should be to make
himself as comfortable as possible in this world,
that his mind may be in a proper frame to prepare
for the next, slight deviation from truth for the
purpose Of securing this object, like the above, is
quite pardonable."
Morazing upon the nuisances which infest the
cars--the small boy with the newspapers-the di ty
boy with the popcorn the big boy with the fearful
apples-and the well-known and interchangeable wretch
with the 'lozengers'-John PHOENIX, says the boy
with the ACCORDION, has not yet got so far North.
1t was but the week before that he met him on the
Philadelphia cars:
at was after eleven o'clock the train had passed
No Rrpn ok md fhn frxinr RI
sleep, Cha! haD when the boy entered. He was
seedy youth, with sealskin cap, a singularly dirty
face grey jacket of the ventilaling odor, and
short but remarkably broad pair of corduroy cor
duroys.' lie wore an enormous bag or haversack
about his neck and bore in his hand that most in
ternal and detestable instrument, an ACCORDION. l
deSpse that instrument of music. They pull the
music out of it, and it comes forth struggling and
reluctant, like cat drawn by the tail from ash
hole, squirrel pulled shriekng from hollow
log with ramrod. This unprinciped boy
menced pulling at this thing, and Mortified us with
the most awful version of that wre,ched 'Dog Tray
that ever listened to. Then he walked around the
Car, and collected forty tN cents. Then he return
ed to the centre Of the car and standing close to the
stove, which was red hot-the night being cold-he
essayed to pull out Pop Goes the Weasel when
suddenly pop went the boy he dropped the accor-
dcon, burst into tears and capping his hands be-
hind him, executed frantic Dance accompanied by
yels of the most agonzinS character saw it all,
and felt grateful to rctibutve Providence He
had stood too close TO the stove and his corduroys
in light blaze; few inches below the termi-
nation of the gray jacket the seat of his
After he got fire the conductor put him out, and
a sweet and ineffable calm came oyer me. | realized
that whatever is, is light, and fell into deep and
happy sleep"
Passing over his account Of the stop at Albany,
the journey to Buffalo; where he nothing but a
railroad depot, but concluded that if the cold coutn
ued the buffalo girls couldn't come out tonight"
were introduced to another model railroad trav-
eer in the following paragraph:
"Ail day and nigh we ground along ripping and
staving.' We passed through Columbus where the
people had been having grand bali to celebrate the
completion Of their State Capitol, and picked up
three hundred and eighty four survivors. each of
whom containeda pint and half of undiluted whis-
key. And So in the morning came to Cincinnati,
where for fifteen minutes We tarried at the Burnett
House, the most magnificent hotel in the United
States. Here | met with Fisher, the celebrated
railroad traveller, who accompanied to Sandoval,
and with whom was particularly charmed. Fisher
is the original inventor of that ingenious plan Of
getting rid of unpleasant occupant Of the same
seat, by opening a window the coolest night, SO
that the draught shall visit searchngly the back of
the victims neck, and of that meth of taking up
the seat and dSposing it as an inclined plane, and
going to Sleep thereon in such complicated manner
as to defy subsequent intrusion. What he does not
know about railroads is Of no manner of consequence
and useless to acquire. Thanks to his experience,
we enjoyed the luxury Of two seats together, and
it was with deep regret that parted with him at
Sandoval."