The Bedford gazette. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1805-current, 1857-09-18
A RILL FROM THE TOWN PUMP.

WINCH ldll, SCdFEPiP aSl1pt. upon my Htuu,
and almost make the water bubble and smoke
in the trough under my nose. Truly, We public
characters have tough time of It. And a.
among all the towns officers, chosen al March
meeting, where is be that sustains, for a single
year, the burden of such manifold duties as are
imposed, in perpttnity, upon the Town Pump
The title Of 'sTown Treasurer" is rightiuly
nine, as guardian ofthe best treasure that the
town has. The overseers Of the poor ought to
make me their chairman, since ! provide boun-
tifully for the pauper, without expenS- 10 him
that pays taxes. | am at the head of the fire
department, and one of the physicians to the
board of health. As keeper of the peace, all
water drinkers will confess me equal to the
constable. perform some OF the duties OF the
town clerk, by omnlgatng public notices,
when they pasted on my front To speak
within bounds, ! am the chief person of the
municipality, and exhibit, moreover, an adni-
rabie pattern TO my brother officers, by the
cool, steady, upright, downright, and impartial
discharge OF my business, and the conSlancy
with which | stand TO my post. Summer Or
winter, nobody seeks me in vain: for all dav
long, am seen at the busiest corner, just above
the market, stretching out my arms TO rich and
poor alike: and at night, hold lantern over
my head, both to show where | am, and to
keep people out of the cutters
AT this snItry uoontide ! am cupbearer to the
Parched popuIace, for whose benefit an iron
goblet is chained TO my waist Like a dram
seller on the mall, at muster dav, crv aloud
TO all and sundry in my plainest accents, and at
the very tip-top of my voice Here it is, gen
tlrmen Here is the good liquor Walk up,
walk up, gentlemen, walk up, walk up Here
is the superior stuff Here is the nnadn!terated
ale of father Adam-hetter than Cognac. Hol-
lands, Jamaca, strong sheer, or wine Of any
price; here It is by the hoqshead or single
glass, and not centto pay Walk up, gentle
men, walk up, and help yourselves
1t were pity if all this outcry should draw
no customers. Here they come hot dav,
gentlemen Quaff, and away again, so as to
keep yourselves in a nice cool sweat. You.
my friend, will need another cupful to wash
the dust out of your throat, fit be as thick there
as it is on your cow-hide shoes. ! see that Won
have trndged half score Of miles to-day and,
like wisr man, have passed by the avrrnS
and stopped at the running brooks and we'll
cnrbs. Otherwise, betwiXt heat without and
fire within, yon would have been burnt to a
cinder, or melted down 10 nothing at all in the
fashion or ialIv-6sh Dr,rt a,d r,aLs roor,
for that otbar c.fo,, ,rLa sasi.s ~, al 70
onencb the. 6erv fever IF last NIGHTS notations
which he drained from no cup Of unr. We'll
come, most ruticund sir You and havp been
great strangers hitherto nor, 10 express the
truth, viii my nose be- anxious for closer IN
tmacy, ill the fumes OF your breath BE- a little
less potent Mercy on you, man the water
absolutely hisS+s down vonr red-hof outlet and is
quite to steam. in the miniature Toph
ct which YOU mistake for a stomach. Fill a.
gain, and tell me, ON the word of an honest to-