The Council Bluffs nonpareil. [volume] (Council Bluffs [Iowa]) 1857-1867, 1857-05-02
THE BACHELOR AND BABY.

sWhat atdH do?' and the old bachelor
stamped about the sitting-room in perfect
rage of doubt, looking first at the mapping
babe in the little willow cradle, and then
at the busy French clock ON the mantel-
shelf.
sAs sure as my name is Joseph Phelps,
that baby, that little, two-6sted, large-lung-
ed nephew Of mine, is about waking, and II
wants one whole hour of the time which its
mother appointed for her return. Whew!
actually sweat. thinking about it. What
can 1 do with it-how can treat it to SUI
gar what-d'ye-call'ems, or hold it, or trot
it, or do anything with it?'
At this juncture, faint vail from the
baby receptacle brought Bachelor Joseph to
his taps. With an energy and alacrity that
would not lily become husband and baby
tender, he commenced rocking the cradle,
sending the indignant baby into perfect
tremor of kicks and squalls. Backward
and forward, from one side Of the pillow to
the other, the round, red face rolled; the in
FAINT fists were clcnched with force that
purpled them; while from the white, plump
throat came cry that sent the bachelor
wild with fear. ssgt
Again Joe looked at the clock.
what in the deuce can do?' he cxclaim-
ed, viewing wofully the little inaamed face
before him.
He sat down in big chair before baby
spread double cradle-quilt over his knees,
and with look of terror upon his face pro-
ceeded to take baby from its resting place.
He drew the young hopeful into his lap,
Just as a very neat old lady would pick up
| L. - L.
fingers. A fresh yell from the rosy mouth
of baby was the only expression Of thanks
| as he commenced the never-out- Of fashion
baby-trOt.
sit must be that something is prickig
him. Shoe! shoov said Joe, commencing
search for the aggravating pin that was
driving the child into such rage. But no
pin was to be found, and he made an al
tempt to turn baby over; but oh! the clun-
siness Of his fngers-thc little eel like form
slid out Of his lap to the floor, sending forth
a cry that was 'louder, clearer, deadlier
than before
sLord save me! I've broken its neckv
was the exclamation as he picked baby up,
and in the agony of despair, tried to quiet
him. A thought struck Joe. He saw a
a basque hanging against the wall of the
adjoining bedroom, and with smile of de-
ligh upon his countenance, he went for it.
Sure enough, there it was, stufing, bodice,
and all! real monument Of feminine inge-
nuity. He was wild with joy. He pinned
it over his coat, and fastened the sleeves
behind him. He took baby and laid its head
against the false breastwork.
Shades of Southern plantations and cot
ton factoriesp exclaimed Joe, as baby root
ed its nose into it about mile, then cud-
died down for snooze. Then the bache-
lor commenced singing
swomen are all deeting show 5get
e. For mans deIusi0n given;
| When filled with bran and stuffed with tow,
They look quite WE'LL"
A tap upon the door stopped Joe in the
midst Of his suggestive song; and before he
had time to disarray himself, the door was
opened, and q rougish, laughing pair Of
eyes peered in upon him.
sYour sister is not at home, is she?' CHR
rupped the visitor.
mo ma'am,' stammered Joe, growing
very red in the face; and have turned
| nurse.o
Miss Hayes laughed; offered to relieve
him Of his charge, which he willingly con-
sented to; sitting near by, the while, intent
y watching her. She managed baby to q
charm, without the basque, and Joe was
capsivated.
Joseph Phelps married Fanny Hayes
pom my word he did.