The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1857-01-08
VARIETY.

Pitch darkness has been so improved as to read
" bituminOUs obscurty.''
Better be the cat in philanthropist's family, than
4 mutton pie for royal banquet.
Pompey said he worked for n man who raised
his wages high that he could only reach them once
i'll two years.
Ifa spoonful Of yeast will raise fifty cents worth of
four how much will it take to raise funds enough to
buy another barrel?
Virtue is no security in this world What can be
more upright than pump logs and editors? Yet both
destined to be bored
If man should set out calling everything by its
right name, he would be knocked down before he got
to the corner Of the street.
Vanity in woman is not invariably, though it is
too often the sign of cold and selfish heart in men
always is therefore ridcule it in society, and
in private hate it.
There is firm in New York, the name of which is
Lay, Hatch s. Cluck. The clerks are presumed to be
all Shanghais
Insults, says modern philosopher, are like coun-
tereit money ; we can't hinder their being offered
but not compelled to take them.
The Kentucky american says that &c the whisky
crop will be greater this than it has been for
years in Kentucky The other great Kentucky
staple (hemp) will, it is thought, be proportionatey
IN demand
A young lady explained to printer the other day
the distinction between printing and publishing, and,
at the conclusion of her remarks by way of ilustra-
tion, she said, Sc You may print kiss on my cheek,
S but you must not publish it,
Il The task of working improvement in the soil, is
much more delightful than all the vain glory which
s. can be acquired by ravagng it with the most unin-
terrupted career of conquest TVGshingtO
n DR.. johnson, when in the fulness of years and
q knowledge, said, 6 never take up newspaper
without finding something would have deemed it
loss not to have never without deriving from it
Instruction and amusement"
Music serves to make home pleasant by engaging
many of its inmates in delightful recreation, and
thus dispelling the sourness and gloom which fire.
quently arises from disputes from mortified vanity,
from discOntentment and envy.
Whoever feels pain in hearing good character of
his neighbor will feel pleasure in the and
those who despair to rise in distinction by their vr
tues, happy if others be depressed to level
with themselves.
3 Ladies who hoops kindly advised by the
Bellows Falls .frgls " to look to their rigging A
few days ago the editor observed lady sweeping
along with the air of queen with about Co feet Of
rhalebone sticking out behind! What business the
fellow had to look is only known to himself
8 During dark night, blind was walking i'll
the street with q lighted candle in his hand and a
pitcher upon his shoulders '' Frend,'' said person
q who met him, 'of what to you is that light? /?
Are not day and night the same to yOu?' The other
aughingy replied 1t is not for myself that carry
the light, but for blockheads like you, to prevent
them from running against me and breaking my
s Pitcher
81 ASTONISHING EFFECTS OF GUANO.-Although some
people may be inclined doubt the truth of the fol-
lowing yarn, bring forward any quantity of
s vouchers. An old salt, of acquaintance, says
that when he in the guano trade he sailed mate
of an old brig which might have been a tender to
NOah's ark. On a return trip with a load of guano
the matches left open night, and a tremen-
dOus shower wet the guano in the hold and produced
the most surprising effects The timbers of the vessel
sprouted and grew in all directions Between decks
was a complete bowery. The forecastle became.an
almost impenetrable thcket, and the cabin bealti-
ful arbor The rudder post being made of white oak,
grew up. into '' live oak'' tree, which afforded
grateful shade to the at the helm though he
sometimes annoyed by the rafting npon his
tarpaulin hat. The masts became very imposing with
their evergreen foliage, and, strange to relate, the
ioretopmast, which had been carried away in gale,
grew out again, and the altitude of all the masts
60 much increased render the brig exceedingly
crank The vessel had boughs on her stern, and the
Igure-head Speaking fguratively) was full of
oOughs as dancing master. They were obliged to
Prune the Oowsprt and some of the spars twice week
The quarterback covered with shrubbery and
tne cooks caboose resembled rustic summer-house
Crab apples grew on the pump-handle, and cherry
table in the cabin bore fruit Perhaps the most re-
Influences of the guano was that the cockroacbes on
C0ard became so large that they could get up the
oaor and make sail the brig. One of the owners
81 he craft facetiously remarked that she went out
1it @ rugged brig and came home half bark. There is
st Ike guano to make things grow, and for
h. truth and veracity give US old sailor when
S. lays himself out on big yarn.--Boston Herald.