American union. [volume] (Morgantown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1855-1859, 1857-09-04
-
,HMs 'a From Iiarper's Ipeskly
NOTHING TO WEAR.
AN EPISODE IN CRY LIFE.

sAf AN EPISODE IN CITY LIFE. 49,
Miss Flora McFlimsey, of Madison Square,
Has made three separate journeys to Paris,
And her father assures me each time she was there
That she and her friend Mrs. Harris
(Not the lady whose name is so famous in history,
But plain Mrs. H., without romance or mystery,)
Spent six consecutive weeks without stopping,
In one continuous round of shopping;
Shopping alone and shopping together,
At all hours in the day and in all sorts of weather
For all manner of things that woman can put
On the crown of her head or the sole of her foot,
Or wrap round her shoulders fitround her waist
Or that can be se,yed on or pinned on or laced,
Or tied on with string or stitched on with bow,
In front or behind, above or below;
For bonncts, mantillas, capes, collars, and shaws
Dresses for breakfast, and dinners and balls;
Dresses to sit in, and stand in, and walk in;
Dresses TO dance in, to flirt in, and talk in;
Dresscs in which to do nothing at all;
Dresses for winter, spring, summer and fall;
All of them different in color and pattern,
Silk, muslin and lace, Grape, velvet, and satin;
Brocade and broadcloth, and other material
Quite as expensive and much more ethereal;
In short for all things that Ger could be thot Of
Or miliner, modesto Or traaesman be bought Of,
From ten-thousand-franc robes to twenty
frills;
In all quarters Of Paris and to every store,
Whole McFlimsey in vain stormed, scoldcd, and
They footed the streets and he footed the bills.
.I
The last trip their goods, shipped by the STEAMER
Arago
Formed, McFimsy declares, the bulk of her cargo.
Not to mention a Quantity Kept from the rest,
Sufficient TO fill the largest-sizcd chest,
Which did not appear in the ships manifest,
But for which hela6ies themselves manifested
Such particular interest that they invested -
Their own proper persons in layers aud rows
of muslins, .elnbroiderics, worked under-cloihes
Gloves, handkerchief, scarfs, and such triles as
those;
Then, wrapped III great-shawls, like Circassian
beauties g., s
Gave good-by TO the ship and go-by to The duties
Her relations at home all marveed, no doubt,
Miss Flora had grown so enormously stout
For an actual belle and possible bride;
But the miracle ceased when she turned inside out
And the truth came to light, and the dry-goods
Which, in spite of collector and custom-h house
sentry,
Had entered the port without any entry.
And yet though scarce three months have passed
The merchandise went, on twelve carts, up Broad
This Miss McFmscy, of Madison Square,
The last time we met, was in utter despair
Because shehad NOTHING WHATEVER TO WEAR
NoTmSd TO wEARl Now, as this is q true ditty,
do not assert--this you know, is between US
That she's in state Of absolute nudity
1sihc IOWClS NIech IOltNc OT lilc Meulcl venus,
But do mean to say, l have heard her declare,
When, at the same moment, she had on n dress 5
Which cost iiSc hundred dollars, and not n cent
less, ..r.
And jcwciry worth ten times more should
That she had not hing II, The ride ,eorldto wearl
should mention just here that optpf Miss Flora 9
Two hundred and fifty or sixty adorers, Z,
had just been selected as he who should throw all
The rest in the shade, by the gracious bestowal
on myself after twenty or thirty reflections,
OF those fossil remains which she called cher af
iections,"
And that rather decayed but wcll-known worl,
of art,
Which Miss Flora persisted in styling sher heart -
SO we were engaged Our troth had been plighted,
Not by moonbeam, or starbeam, by fountain
Or grove,
But in front parlor most brilliantly lighted,
Beneath the gas-fxtures, we pghted our love,
Without any romance, or raptures, or sighs,
Without any tears in Miss Flora's blue eyes,
Or blushcs, or transports, or such silly actions.
II was one Of the quictest business transactions,
WIN very small sprinklng of sentiment if any,
Anda very large diamond imported from Tiffany,
On her virgnal lips while printed kiss,
She exclaimed, as n sort of parenthesis
And by way Of putting me quite at my case,
'You know Pm to polka as much as please,
And fiirt when lke--Anow stop don't YOU speak.
And you must not come here more than twice in
the week,
Or talk to me either at party or ball,
Bntalways be ready to come when cali:
So don't prose to me about duty and stuff
If we don't break this off, there will be time
enough
For that sort of thing; but the bargain must bo
That, as long as choose, | am perfectly free,
For this is q sort of engagement, you see,
Which is binding ony you but not binding on me
Well, having thus woocd Miss McFlimsey and
gained her
With the silks, crnoine, and hoops that contain
ed her, 80
had as thought, q contingent remainder
At least in the property, and the best right
To appear as its escort by day and by night.
And IT being the week of the Stuekup's grand
Their cards had been out fortnight or so,
And set all the avenue on the tip-toe---.
i considered IL only my duty to call
And sec If Miss Flora intended TO 90.
found her--as ladies are aft to be found
When the time intervening between the first sound
vi the bell and Ike visitors entry is shorter
ihan usual found; won't say caught her
intent on the pier-glass, undoubtedly meaning
10 see II perhaps II didn't need cleaning
She turned as entcred-"Why, Harry, you sim
nSr, ~ ..E
Thought that you went to the fiashcrs TO din
ncrW r
$50 did, replied, ''but The dinner Is swa,-
lowed =.
And dieesied, trust, for tisnow nine 4 more.
So, being relieved from that duty, I followed
INCLINATION, which led me YOU Seo 10 youf door