The Placer herald., 1857-11-21
NUMBER II.
Scraps of Humor,

lhere are two kinds or boreS IN this world
the rich and the poor. You can get rid
of the latter by lending him five dollars.
You can free yourself from the other by at
tempting to borrow twenty five dollars from
him. Try it on.
A witness in liquor case in Manchester,
n. H., recently gave the following testimony:
"Sal soda is ice and water, and some stuff
squirted into it from CONCERN. Don't
know whether it is Intoxicating or mott.
makes one feel good-feet lifts easier,
"Enoch," said a native of the Emerald fshe
one day, they tell me you Yankees are great
at guessing. Now, then, if you will tell me
how many dollars have got in my pocket
lll give you all three ov em." well,
them said Enoch 81 guess you have three"
"Och take 'em, take EN-" said Pat, ''some
fool has told YOU"
The following notice appears on country
Westinghouse: "Any person sticking bills.
against this church, will be prosecuted ac-
cording to law, or any other nuisance"
What is the difference between a woman
who tears her dress and one who pads?
One busts her stuff, the other stutfs her
bust
The Utica Telegraph has an article headed
"Why Old Maids Multiply" TAie is some:
thing new" 1t has always been understaad
that they are just the ones who do not "mul-
tiply and replenish the earth"
1abi are as easy caught as "yaler birds"
Let n circus arrive in town, and in less than
a week half the boys in town will be tlYowy"-
ing somersets, and breaking tAeiy necks over.
an empty mackerel barrel.
An Irish witness was recently asked what
he knew of the prisoners character for truth
and veracity. "Why, trolh, since iver I've
known her, she's kept her house cIauo and
daccnt"
man of an English agricultural society,"
gentlemen, please put me down on your list
of cattle for Il lull"
Mrs. JAMESON says-"'The bread of life is
love the salt Of lite is work; the sugar Of
life is poetry; the water Of lie is faith
Hand us the bread and sugar, never mind
the salt.
Ex9- "The greatest organ in the world"
sAme old bachelor says, sis the organ of
speech in woman; because it is an Or
gan without stops"
Iss- At a railroad station, an old lady
said to a very pompops-looking gentle.
man, who was taking about steam navi-
cation, PRAY, sir What is steam" STEAM
ma'am, Is ahI-steau iS--ah -ah!-steam'
steam!" 81 knew that chap couldn't
tell ye," said rough looking fellow stand
ipfr tv nIuf hunl-ut' of
in tremendous perspiraton"
A correspondent says the following notice
may be seen at a blackslnith's shop in Es-
sex; mo horses shQd on Sunday ,ept
sickness 81 death,A
An old advertisement of 1868 reads.
"Wanted-a stout, active man, who fears
the Lord, and can carry two hundred
weight"
A Wealthy llrinter has been discovered
in India. 1hc British geological Society
are making preparations to catch him.
Naomi, daughter of Enoch, was five hun
dred and eighty years of age, when she mar,
rGd. poprage, LADIES.
A tilted Chemist finds love to he CON-
posed of fifteen parts Of gold. three of fame.
and two of affection.
ShoEld trowsers procured on credit bs.
considered "breeches of trust
a down east editor advises his readers.
if they wish 10 get teeth inserted grstut.
ously, to go anC steal fruit where his watch.
dog is on guard.
"Boy," said visitor at the house Of a,
friend to his little son, 'step over the way
and see how old Mrs. Brown is The boy
did the erraud and Oh his return report
ed that Mrs. Brown did not know hQw
old she WAS ''''
had given his daughter in marriage to man
with whom he was at enmity, answered. Il
did it out of pure revenge"
Is IT So.-The Trinity 2gmes says there
is more mineral wealth and less enter
prise among the people of the northern
counties than in any section Of the State,
Another overland mail has arrived at Sar
d Diego in twenty seven days from San Antonio.
Texas. y
So THEY cot is estimated that oyer
10000 sewing machines wele sold in the
United States during the last year.
RoADs-The Yreka Union says that the
wagon road to Crescent City is nearly
completed to the sumit of the Mountain,
and that the contractors expect TO have
the work completed by next spring.
Cure FOR CHoLIc IN loRsEs.-A gen.
teman in Baltimore publishes the follog-
ing receipt for the cho!ic in horses, which,
in his own case, effected speedy cure.