Delaware weekly Republican. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1841-188?, 1857-10-08
HUMOROUS.


HUMOROUS.
The student who graduates with the hiehes
honors are seldom heard Of afterwards.
Too much vinegar spoiis the salad. That
true both ways. 5ssl1s. d
ahead
Prejudices and frogs croaiS loudest in the
dark. 80 -
The busy tongue, sooner than not talk scan
, There is shop Eepi by single lady in
''ti;ye3Y, ~ Eie window ofwiich appears these
""tA'si $40 reasonable offers refiised."
\ French woman talks a great deal more
thAh sue hinks-an English woman thinks a
great deal more than size talks.
Nobody likes to he nobody, but everybody
is pleased to think himself somebody.
Advertising is the oil which the wise trades
fneH putin their lamps and that foolish ones
to use.
chariyle says '.Make yourself an honest
man, and then you may bd sure that there is
one rascal less in the world.''
"What is the reason,'' said one Irishman TO
another, ''that You and your wife are always
disagIeeing!''
''Because,'' replied Pat, 'stoe are both of one
miR9--shc wants TO be master, and so do l."
Somebody calls beautiful woman perpet-
ual hymn to the Deity. This may be true, ad-
mitting that, now and then, one is abominably
sRag. According to "somebody's" philosophy,
ilne-looking man, with front like Jupiter
Ammou, though his heart is a white sepulchre,
mnst bea tremendous anthem.
An exchange says that ex. Governor Clark
was being shaved a short time since, when the
barber accidentally tweaked hisnese a little too
hard.
"pardnn me, ? said he, very naturally. tPut
your hahd in my coat pocket and pull one out"
sald the kind-hearted Governor, / will fill it up
Tor you, when you've done.''
KISSING AT A CERTAIN AaE.-A celebrated
dandy was one evening in company with a
young lady, and, observing her kiss her favor
lite poodle, he advanced and begged the like
favor, remarking that she ought TO have as
much charity for him as she had shown to the
dog. ''Sir," said the belle; 'tI never kissed
my dog when he was puppy"
The head clerk Of large mercantile house
was Dragging rather largely of the amount of
business done by his ssfrm.n sYou NAV
Judge of its eStent,'' said he .sWhen tell Won
A''NN t'ip 4uhlS ipi OuL GOIIGSpOue0G6 only, cost
two thousand dollars a year ssPoohl' said
the CLERK OF ofanother house who was sitting by;
''what is that to our correspondence, when /
save four thousand dollars a year ia ink, from
merely emitting to dot the is.
A female writer says, SIN othing looks worse
on lady than darned stockngs.'' Allow us
to observe that stockings which need darning,
look worse than darned ones.
Stockings look best without any SSdarned''
holes in them.
Gentlemen you had better attend 10 your
own knitting and let the injury complained of
heel ITSELF
Good advice; this is the womeu's business,
and the man who puts his foot in il will surely
get tCorsted
NOVEL ILLUSTRATION or ScrENoE.-During a
learned lecture by German adyenturer, he
Illustrated the glory Of mechanics as a science
thus
DE thing that is made is more superior dan
10 MAKER. L show you how in some tings.--
suppose make a round wheel Of de coach
Yer WE'LL dat wheel roll round five hundred
nile and cannot roll one myself! Suppose
am cooper, what you call and l make de
zig tub@to hold wine. He holds tuns and gal
ons, and cannot hota more than flee bottles
80 You see dat what is made is more superior
ian de maker.
HEAVEN BRorGHT DOWN TO Us.--A tender
mother was endesyorng to convey to the in
Iuiring mind OF her little child, an idea of
Heaven, and the necessity for being a good
boy, in order TO obtain admission there here
after. She pictured to his imagination the
happiness OF the blest, and as additional in
ducement for him to lead correct life, said
that he would be like the angels, who have
harps in their hands.
Mamma responded the urchin, wistfuly
gazing into his mothers eyes, saIaInrna, IL it
makes diffArEurR with nod
ie,cStarp,' Et
The astonished parent rang the bell, and the
nurse removed the polite little STRIPPING to
bed.
A workman recently purchased, in a small
provincial town of Germany. ten pounds Of
powdered sugar; but on examining It, he tound
hat the grocer had mixed with il as least a
ound of lime. On the following day he ad-
ertised as follows in the public prints.
SHOULD the grocer who sold me a pound of
me along with nine pounds of sugar, not bring
0 me the pound he cheated me of l shall
Irthwith disclose his name in the papers,,
Inc next day the workman received nine
ounds Of sugar from nine grocers, who had
nilar actions on their conscience, and feared
nblicity.
ECCENTRIC DAMseL.--The Andoyer (Mas-
Advertiser tells story of woman
elonging to that town, who had falling out
ith her husband, and threatened to drown
ersef in the tsgreat pond" Her husband
as not at first alarmed, but at length she dis
ppeared soon, her bonnet and shawl were dis
overed at the waters edge, the alarm spread
iroughout the neighbofhood, and diligent
ssrch was instituted. Sew raj persons were
ngaged in dragging the pond; grappling-irons
ere brought into requisition, but to no pur-
ose. All Efforts, however, proved abortive,
nd the anxious ones wore about to give up in
cspair when, 10 and behold the lost one ap-