Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1857-06-18
A MODEL, STUMP SPEECH.

a mODEL 3i1SAA'
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN I rise, but
there's no use telling you that, you know |
am up as we'll as do I'm q modest man,
very, but have never lost picayune by it
in nv life-because it is scarce commodity
among candidates. I thought would men,
ton it, for fear if I didn't you would never
hear of it.
Candidates are generally considered as
nuisances, but they are not; they are the
politest men in the world, shake you by the
hand and ask you how's your family, what's
the prospects for crops, &c., and I am the
politest man there is in the States. l am not
only the politest man but the best election
eerer-you ought to see me shaking hands,
with the variations, the pump handle and the
pendulum, the cross cut and the wiggle wag-
ole understand these sciences perfectly
If any of the country candidates wish any
instructions, they must call on me.
uFellow citizens-I was born-if l hadn't
been I wauldn't have been candidate, but
I am going to tell you where, twas not in
the Mississippi, but it was on the south side
of the negro line; yet there's no compll-
ment, as the negroes are born on this. l
started in the world as poor as church
mouse, yet came honestly by my poverty,
for I Inherited it, and no man can say but
that have held on remarkably well.
Candidates generally ask you if you think
they are.quali6ed &c. Now don't ask your
thoughts, l ask your votes. Why, there's
nothing to think of, except to watch that
Swans name is on your ticket; if so, think
to scratch it off and put mine on. ami GER
tain that am competent, for who ought to
know better that T do?-nobody. I will al
low that Swan is the best auditor, that is,
till / am elected-then perhaps it is not pro-
per for me to say anything more; yet, as an
honest man, I am bound to say that it's
grievous sin to hide anything from my fellow
citizens; therefore say that it's my private
opinion, publicly expressed, that I'll make
the best auditor ever in the United States.
IT'S not for honor [ wish to be auditor !;
for in my own country, I was offered an Of
fee that was all honor-Coroner-which L
respectfully declined. The auditors Office
is worth some $4,000 year, and find |
am in for it like a thousand Of brick. 10
show my goodness of heart I'll make this
offer to my cempetitioner am sure of
being elected, and he will lose something by
the canvass-therefore am willing to dl-
vide equally with him, and make these two
offers: I'll take the salary aud he may have
the honor, or he may have the honor and
I'll take the salary. In the way of honors,
1 have received enough to satisfy me for life.
went out to Mexico, eat pork and beans
slept in the rain and swallowed almost every
thing except live Mexicans. When 1 was
ordered to go, went; to charge, l charged;
and break for the chapperell, you had better
believe I beat a quarternag in doing my
duty.
My competitor, Swan, is bird of golden
plumage, who has been swimming for the
last four years in the auditors pond, at ST.
900 year. I am for rotation. want to
rotate him out and rotate myself in. There
is plenty of room for him to swim outside of
that point, therefore pop out your vote for
me, I'll pop him out and pop myself in.
I am for division Of labor. Swan says
he has to work all the time with his nose up
on the public grindstone. Four years must
have ground it to point Poor fellow, the
public ought not to insist on having the han
die of his mug ground clear off. I have
large full grown nose, and tough as sole
leather. I rush to the rescue. offer it up
as a sacrifice. 1 clap it to the grindstone.
Fellow citizens, grind away till I holler e.
nough, and that'll be sometime first.
Times most out. Well, I like to forgot
to tell you my name. It'sDaniel, (for short,
DAM Not handsome name, ,for.:my parents
were poor people, who lived where the quail
ty appropriated all the nice names; therefore
they had to take what was left and divide
around among u.s. but it's as handsome as l
ann Daniel Russel. Remember every one
of you that it's not Swan.
I am sure to be elected, so one and all,
great and small, short and tall, when you
come down to Jackson after the election
stop at the auditors ofice-the latch string
always hangs out-enter without knocking,
take off your things, and make yourselves at
home"