Cooper's Clarksburg register. [volume] (Clarksburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1851-1861, 1857-11-27
II NOVEMBER lsS7.s

none but q widow-smitten swain can
blame blooming crinoline Of sixteen or
eighteen summers. for displaying a be-
comingly indignant spirit when The widow
invades her E hunting ground" where
loye-stricken beaux were. thick as black
berries" ,, .r t t,r,,. 4,
But the widow Of whom I write. never
thought, that she was calling down, the
anathemas of. her own sex upon her sable
decked head. else her innate modesty
would have revolted at the very thought,
and her love ofjustice sent each truant
gallant back TO his true and loyal fealty
at the shrine Of more youthful crinolines.
Batwhat has all this to. do with crab
fishing methinks I hear you say. This
query brings me to consider most esti-
mable trait in the gentle widows charac.
ter, which was in her jewel of priceless
worth; but so engious had her fair sisters
(not in ,weeds) become of her magic pow
er over the fatherless hearts Of the. stern>
er sex, that her rarest virtues served only
as provocative with them to cause her
to be,looked upon with more evil eye.
Although constant visitor with thela
dies to the scene Of their evening ablu.
tions. her native modesty forbade her to
disrobe in presence of1ancient danes aud
maidens young and fair. and with them
to wanton inthe surging waves and "ride
up their backs" butrhe delight wasIwith
the cheerful lark to rise, and with. none
TO view her unspoken charms, save a
young and faithful slave, to bis her to
some still retreat. where, in natures vest.
ments clad. she could 1s1ede iroa
~ia "With a swimmers stroke,
Fling the pillows back from her drenched hair,
And laughing from her lip the audacious brine
Which kissed it like wine cup running DER
The waves"
enjoy the blisful luxury of bathing in the
cry stal food,
Which lavished kisses on her polished limbs,
AS round her danced the laughing waves
Beneath Aurora's blushing smiles.
But how shall my theme pursue
Vile, vicious crabs, with claws of ample length,
Lay sprawling on the shelving beach. ~.
Our widow now, in Natures Eve-Iike garb,
(Eere the forbidden fruit brought fig leaves into
useO
Caressed the waves and wantoned in their soft
embrace;
When 10 hor fairy foot an; enyious crab
aroused,
Which in malicious spite seized on her major
toe, "lH tEt or +7Fef arl
With sue an unctious grasp, our widow fair
Was untpo iainting nigh, withiveryl pain; while
The little title monster Of the deep held on. y,,
And basely tIiqmPhed in the strength of claw.
Deep anguish settles OH The dame ! fair brow"
But what expedient now shall serve her tur,if'
Unthoughtedly her foot is raised, and In II ui
The Iimpid wave her ieweled hand is thrust,
To free her from her pedal torturer.
Expedient vain No sooner heth her gentle
touch y
The crab assaiIed, than, presto ! her soft hand
Is caught within her dexter claw, SO dettly
strong. e.sa
Ye gods what torture rends the Widows heart
AS in this living trap herself she finds.
The faithful slave, oil impotent to save,
With lightning speed ascends tn sheltring bluff
And whispers softly in the landlords eur. ggl
With headlong haste he swiftly flies fa, 20
TIE rescue the fair dame, and win from her
The fair tribute Of grateful smile, 10 wear
Forever craven OH his swelling heart
The scene is reached, and there, behold
Like Niobe, all tears," the widow stands
Upon one foot, like Mynheer's setting hen;
But when she sees the landlord rushing in
To save her from most untoward death,
Her blushing modesty o'ercomes her fear,
And she implores her doughty knight
TO shut his eyes or leave her to her fate.
The knight obeys, and guided by her voice.,
He nears her side. and STOPPING down,
He. cautious feels for the offending crab,
Which soon he sewers from her hand ana foot,
Then turns his back and opens both his eyes
Shortly is the sequel told. Our chiv>
alrous landlord, the hero knight Of this
piscatorial adventure, returned to his ho.
tel wetter il not wiser man.
Hastily attiring herself. our heroine re-
treated TO her chamber; and long before
the worshippers of Momus had aban-
doned the downy shrine of the dreamy
god. her trunks were packed. her bill
paid, and the now GRABBED widow was
booked on the first steamer, (" over the
waters to Charley"
When the bell called to breakfast, ma
ny anxious eyes were directed TO the Wild
ow's vacant chair, and painful surmises
Of sickness filed many manly breast !;
while there might be seen lurking smile
Of satisfied delight upon the pouting rosy
lips of the congregated crinolines. as they
furtively eyedTlhe detected and disconso-
late moustaches on either side.
Self>inf1icted short commons " aston
ished more than one hungry stomach that
morning; and when the, widows hegira
became known, exclamations of surprise
and conjecture were on every tongue.
The catastrophe. however, soon oozed
out, Gas our.landlord was too leaky fell
low 10 hold such an adventure from the