The Council Bluffs nonpareil. [volume] (Council Bluffs [Iowa]) 1857-1867, 1857-12-05


49,. 10 hungry wolves that on him ieer.
Mutton is sheep, and sheep the same;
No famished god would at him sncef-
To famine, chops are more than fame
Who hiss at him, him but assures
= That they are geese but wanting wings;
Your coat is his whose life Is yours,
And ba ! the hymn the mntton sings.
Ye ours, and gods OF grander blood,
And you yc paddles fresh from Cork,
Come taste-ye lovers Of the good 81
Eat stuff! and turn your back on pork.
ARUN ON THE BANK,
THE BOGUS COUNTY BANK PANIC.
BY MRS. BELL SMITH.
We determined on all sides that it was
time for Uucle John to get up some new
stories. The old ones were quite thread
bare. No-not that, indeed-but his house
hold audience was too much exercised.-
With every fresh arrival at the Plains, we
had the old stories repeated; and at the din
ner-table sat corps Of well-trained ciaquers
listening to the Introduction, growing in
terested in the details, frightening up as the
narrator approached the denoument, and
bursting into hearty roar at the right
point. Aunt Josephine was the only one
who protested at the proposed innovation.
She regarded the, entertainment Of guests
as science, and, 80 viewing Uncle's efforts,
said we should sacrifice our own feelings for
the purpose of sustaining our Professor
The new stories, she argued, may not be so
good, and it will be some time before We
can come in gracefully to their support. As
the prosperity of a jest lies in the ear, she
declared it our duty to assist in making all
the old ones prosperous. But Lucy said
! that it was impossible laugh had grown
SO hollow and unnatural, she was ashamed
of it, while Carrie asserted that all frank
ness and honesty was shocked at her decep-
ton. Besides, she continued, that when she
heard for the first time how Father Quinn
had been pounded by his own friends, the
story was so absurd she could not help
lnug hing, and thus could excuse her forget
fuIness Of pious respect: but now that with
cool deliberation they were called upon
again to assist in this exhibition of priestly
suffering, her conscience positively revolted.
We had a clear majority, and SO deter
mined that our beaux at the Lodge should
be treated to new set of anecdotes. The
matter was laid delicately before Uncle John,
and he laughed heartily at our troubles, but
promised us positively reformation. But
it never came. The very week following,
George S. and Edward T. visited US, osten-
sibly for few days shooting. 1t is true
that gaming purposes did not require gui-
tar and flute, which instruments were snug
gled into what We called the outpost; being
a little lodge off from the house, where we
colonized the beaux. This discovery was
made by and by, after the gentlemen had
INDUCED in hard days tramp over the
Fl ,lds and swamps in seach of snipc, when
they stole out at midnight to astonish US by
a serenade. Carrie could not refrain from
saying that, if the game had any car for mu-
sic, the execution of that flute and guitar
would be greater than guns. Fuzzringtum,
our house-dog, was monstrously offended at
the strange noise, and ran boo hooing at
the musicians, just as George S. lifted up
his voice to sing, 'sOh! whisper what thou
feelest," and was forced to break his guitar
over the head of the stupid brute; while Mr..
Edward dropping his flute found refuge in
an apple-tree. II was after this arrival that
We looked for the proposed Improvements,
but we looked in vain. The same old sto-
ries would out, and We were bored as with
the "oft-s9ld tale, vexing the ears Of =
drowsy mHfl." had my plan OF cure
l would reduce his stories to print. de-
tcrmincd to publish to the world this choice
collection. fear that Uncle John will suf-
fer by the process, not only by the loss OF
his little histories, but in the cold print win
disappear the quaint, quiet humor of com
versation which in select circles has made
him celebrated. However, we are driven to
this, and so for the first specimen.
A Western village is not pleasant thing
to contemplate. The dirty, unpaved streets,
the white or red houses drying in the sun,
, suggesting heavy bread, sour milk and warm
water. The square, vulgar-looking tavern,
which speaks Of poisonous drinks, feather
beds and yermin, the noise of the tin.shop
or smithy, all combine to mike Western
village most abominable to the eye and ear.
A very little labor and no additional expense
would change it all. A few forest trees,
beautiful, graceful, and abundant as they
are, planted along the sidewalks, would
change tho dismal streets into cool, refresh
ing avenues. But Western man proper,
hates tree. His progenitor, the pioneer,
found the forest his great enemy next to the
Indian, and the child received the prejudice
constitutionally at his birth, a. the French
infant takes revolutionary instinct at his
mothers breast. A Western man has no
content or comfort, until from about his
dwelling he has cleared every vestige Of
green budding nature. sla !
West Independence forms no exception to
this general rule. Approaching the town
from the north, one finds the road crowded
in by huge, white, staring manufactory
on one side, and long range Of pig-sties
on the other. With eye, nose, and ears,
alike offended, you enter upon dusty street,
bounded on either hand by struggling habita-
tions. However, pass with me through the
little town, and we win find something
pleasanter. Turning to the right, at the
corner where stands square brick building
with sign above the door, whereon one
reads the cabalistic letters ssBank, p we fol-
low the narrow street, which, terminating in
road, leads to 2 wooded eminence on which
reposes beautiful residence. In and abont
this mansion appear every evidence Of cul-
tivation and refined taste. The untrimmed
forest trees almost brush against the admi-
rably y.tinted walls, and waye their tlark IA.
liage above the closely -shaven lawn. while
within the house, if you do not see the w.ll-
selected furniture, you will probably hear a.
sweet voice pouring out a food Of melody
TO the accompaniment Of harp or piano. or
low toned conversation, enlivened by that
IunmistakabIe evidence Of cultivation, 4 mu