Orleans independent standard. [volume] (Irasburgh, Vt.) 1856-1871, 1857-08-14
HOW TO GET SUBSCRIBERS.


business, and ordinarily one of the mer-
lest, best natured bipeds we ever met
With John had way of obtaining sub
'cribers, however, peculiarly his own;
md his success was proserbial. If he
undertook to get a mans name and sub
scription money, he got it--there was no
dodging the issue when he resolved upon
the thing.
John was a large, powerful man, stand
ing six feet three, in his socks, and he
feared nothing in the performance of his
duty; at times when q resort to tricks of
trade was necessary, he was ever "at
home" and his mimicry, smiling counte-
nance, and capital address, made him
friends at first sight. But John OCCASION
ally came across a tough Customer.
"You call that a paper ?" exclaimed
one rough, big-fstcd fellow, derisively,
one morning, in coffee-house, where
John was canvassing.
"Wen, dc" said John.
"Oh, git out," responded the bully.
"And you must subscribe, too" said
John.
"Nots you knows on" continued the
other, sneeringly. "It's humbug."
What's humbug?"
"That paper O yourn."
"Ceme, now, my fine fellow, that won't
do" added the agent, not little piqued.
He always stood straight up for the
paper.
THAT kind Of talk amt just the
thing, my friend" continued John, for
there were several persons present.
a say it's hum" persisted the fell
low "and you're another"
"As the stranger got off his last re-
marks, he approached the canvasser in
: stantly, and offered some unmistakable
demonstrations of beligerent charac-
ter.
: John measured his customer as he adj
7 vanced, and drawing back, he very coolly
" knocked the insolent fellow down. Then
grasping the rowdy by the throat
% els my paper hum p asked John.
" "Yes--cuss my picture"
! "It is, eh 2" continued the agent, bring
" ing the fellow a rap on the sconce, which
astonished him immensely.
e cit is, is it?" Again he cufTed him
vigorously, and then again and again,
Is until the bully began to believe he had
b commenced operations Oh the wrong indi-
vidual.
"Is my paper hum ?"
"No-n-no," shrieked the fellow.
TX What kind of paper is it!"
- al dun no."
" "Yes You do responded John, again
&c raising that fearful fist.
Yes !" shouted the sufferer.
n "What kind of a paper is it"
en- It's Ats A."
g Quick or III smash every bone in
's your ugly body"
on Oh, oh--it's a good.--fuss--luss-rate
IS paper"
"Now let me up"
ne Mono, not ill you subscribe"
ea 81 won't"
lg, "No? Wen see p and John tight
all ened his grasp on the PROSTATE hero, and
showing his teeth, and thrashing about
:. like a mad catamount.
- Il will"
For year"
red "No."
ur, What theu?"
a, Six months"
"That'l do" said John. "It'll be two
dollars-fork over--nO trust"
an Let me up"
ilo, After you've paid your subscription.
MT Wal--loOsen your holt, can't yer|
-, Thus adjnred, John, who was not 0
80 80 an unaccommodating spirit, 81 let up," 81
It's as to allow his subscriber 10 get his han,
at in his pocket.
ex- The latter actually drew forth hi
purse, counted out two dollars in silver
gave his address, took bis receipt, an'
'P'' was released.
the "Take a drink !"
the "Yes, responded the victim.
the So they drank together, and John, a
least, was in excellent humor.
:" Do you like the paper Z!
anu Yes" was the response.
"It's good paper"
"Yes," said the subscriber.
nily "And you'll remember il TO you
.hJ friends =
Yes" groaned the victim.
d 10 Good day, them" said John, smilin
blandly, and departed.
Yes" added the other, abstracled
a. as he followed him with his eyes. Z" Br
if that amt the devils own partieuli
''a' agent, then | dunno nothin'," and rul
ouse bing the side Of his head, and twistir
! On bis shoulders about little, 70 feel II ar
thing was out of int," he mutter'
something about the power Of Il
press" aud disappeared.
y " i think you'll Ike my paper, friend
..s1 g..