Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1857-02-21


cacy of quickest. hedge cut Of the hair Some
consider an occasional oath, if inserted with
grace and modesty, very advisable, shall not
insist on their necessity, though Longlnus ad-
vocates them in his treaties on the sublime -
You should always bear in mind, also, that the
only opinions lawyer is supposed TO have any
thing to do with are those he is paid for, or.
which is to the full as likely, charges IN his
books,-ihe term "books" being understood as
meaning the blank pages in his Boston Altman
&C. If he show symptoms of any others clients
are first astonished, and then indignant, and
friends care surprised that Thomas should have
taken up such notions" and consider Their du-
ty as good Christians and members of the church
to starve the said Thomas into better frame
of mind by bestowng their business on some
body else, who has no mind TO injure his pros
poets in this way.
If client cume in it is Away advisable TO
be too busy to attend to him at first. Men are
ever most ready TO put their affairs into the
hands Of those who have too much TO do 10 at
tend 10 them faithfully. Always be finishing
letter to some imaginary lawyer in extensive
practice in distant city, with regard 10 some
possible John Smith who has absconded, after
defraudng an unfortunate washer-woman "uu,
of four and sxpence, and large family of
children, all of them of tender age and excel
lent habits, having recently joined the associa-
ton of reformed inebriates." This need not
say TO you, though you might 10 your client, is
gratis business, and Of course to be attended to
before any other. Whenever you leave your
L. Il .oxI al, a.,
minds Of all passers-by The hugely writ en- in
formation tina, you are "IN THE S. ]. CouRr,"
mr. the &c. c. P.," or in any other place in the
realm of fictitious narrative which is large and
important enough TO receive your learned per-
son.
Having impaired all this valuable informa-
ton, partly flom pure benevolence, partly to
show my experience, and partly my wit, re-
turn to myself had been in my office month
| had fourteen blank wrils and other blanks in
abundance, and my own face, from constant as
sociaiion, began TO grow blank also. The wriis
were well emo oh in themselves, and the clerks
signature did him great deal Of credit but
the morals OF society had improved to such an
alarming pitch that they remained blank, and
! seemed TO forbode tedious pertnacity in blank
ness and virgin purity. A friend, disguised as
substantial farmer without any bump of locali-
ty, had three several times enquired "if this
were Mr.. Mortmains Office" at every dooi on
both sides oflhe street. Three times also, with
thick file Of papers in my hand, hurried the
same individual TO and from the Courthouse,
in the most STRAIGHTFORWARD parts of the day
Moreover ! had generously made the same in
dividual free gift of the sum of ten dollars 10
one dollar bills, which he was obligng enough
TO return to me from very greasy, apopletic-
looking calf-skin pocket-book, in Court street,
counting with the usual celebration of thrifty
agriculiurist, and, between whiles, eulogizing
my skill as a practitioner.
Still my door had not once opened unexpect-
eddy. knew by sight every crack in the cell
ing, and the peculiar expression Of every paw
ingsio under the window. / imag ined the
| pictures ''my predecessor il Office and hung
on the brass headed nail he had left in the walls
| felt curiosity about the foreigner with
mous'ache, who had twice passed up the street
exactly at eleven, A. NJ. / could sit with my
back to the window, and recognize every boy
who cried the HERALD by his voice. | felt
sorry when the boy with half hat had caught
cold, or the boy in the superintendent boots had
overtasked his lungs to the blasting of his pros
poets for the rest of the day. felt as if had
a kind of ownership and consabedom over
them. | surmised from the expression of their
counlenance those who were playing truani, or
whose mothers were ignorant of their exoteri-
city. They had restless eyes, and sat with a
prospective uneasiness. had my pet spiders,
one in each corner Of the room, and laid imag-
mary bets with myself as 10 the number of va
cancies each would make in a week in my band.
of bluebot,les, CONSISTING exclusively of wind
insirumenis,) whom | maintained in humble
emulation Of the Emperor Nicholas's French
horn band. knew Familiarity all the men with
pea;jackets who leaned all day against the lamp
posts. ! thought Of The doctrines Of PyihagU-
ras with even more respect, and concluded that
in their former state Of existence they had been
J lamp.lgh,ers. | speculaied upon the age re-
quired 10 entitle man 10 green baize jackets,
having observed that The wearers of them were
a peculiar race, who had apparently come into
the world in green jackets, to illustrate Words
wOrih's doctrine of "not in utter nakedness y
) That these garments are an artificial and not a
natural appendage, nothing will ever persuade
me. r4.. e..
The eyes of man who has nothing to do are
keen. / saw everything. could tell by the
expression OF Hodges face, as he started at Q
highly -colored engraving of French species
of woman in the pcture-framer's window, thai
) doubts had for the first time arisen in his mind
as to the correctness of his ideal of female love
illness, his theory OF which was based wholly
on ''our Sally Ann" ! was sure, for nearl,
! five minutes, that the man in the white hat ant
the brass chain unsuggestve of any watch, was
looking for my office, and Guessed he gave two
! cents for the orange. ] could not imagine who
ate all the molasses candy which the Irish wo
men in men shoots had for sale, but supposed
that Providence appointed young ravens of one
kind or another for that useful duty. ! came
to pretty well-grounded opinion that the new
bonnels were not tasteful or becoming wher
they exposed the whole crown and part of the
back of tho head. ! thought the French mus
he queer looking nation if they resembled the
plate of Paris fashions in the talors window
opposite, and wondered if the said tailor knew
how badly the lefi-hond lower conner pane O
olaQs nraoLad I d;Ja', aao ho,., l.