The western Democrat. [volume] (Charlotte, N.C.) 1852-1870, 1857-04-07
A FEW rHoucHrs UPON EATING.
From RusseLL's Magazine.


sess a good digestion, and good digestion
almost every one would enjoy, were it not
for abominable Encouragement, sort OF
Vandalic destruction of normal powers
which is equally waIlton and senseless.-
Almost every European nation may be con-
sidered. upon the whole, more healthfui
than we are. The reason is two-foid.-
First, they do not convert themselves into
walking chimneys. which as a matter OF
duty, must be continually filled with smoke;
and secondly, they do not run against IIme'
striving to dispatch their meals within the
limited space of three minutes and quar-
ter. An American table d'kote," is sin
gular spectacle. No sooner has that hor-
rid instrument, which we owe to the diabol-
ical ingenuity of the Chinese, ceased to
sound its ear-spliting notes, than hetero-
geneO1s thrOng, of all sizes and ages, press
forward zen mnsse." trampling on each
others toes. in order to procure eligible
seats near the favorite dishes. Then, for
an instant, all is silent, and you begin to
think it possible that you have mistaken
your men, and that you may be, (notwith-
standing that dreadful rush. or ''cOup de
main'O among reasonable Christian crea-
lures. But alas! the very next moment
dispels the illusion. The covers are alb
stracted. and then what fearful onslaught
upon fish, flesh, and fowl" The soup be-
ing FUSED up" at gulph, and whole plates
of vegetables disposed of as mere ''bdgd-
teILes," an attack commences upon the
heavier viands, which is likewise success
full, and ends in their too,. dissolving, like
the baseless fabric of a vision" Great
sepulchral mouths close upon whatever is
conveyed thither with a remorseless rapid
ity, which leaves no time for masticatiun.
and just the fraction of second for degluti-
ton. Bread is consumed by the half loaf,
and meat by the cubic foot. AS for those
trihes styled side dishes they pass away
by legerdemdin, which we have never
been able to detect, but which is equally
successful and adroit. Such microscopic
appurtenances as pickles, and the other
ct ceteras of feast, appear to merge. of
their own accord, into the material of the
weightier vians, as asteroids will finally
merge into the sun. A minute serves for
the first cOurse-a minute for the second
and, occasionally, when business il not par
ucularly urgent, minute and n quarter is
given to the third. Thus, the average
meal time is accomplished, and the scores
of satisfied diners. having gorged them
selves after the manner of the crocodile,
and succeeded in materially increasing
their ordinary weight. stroll away with a
fucility which is astonishing, considering
the amount of matter that they have swal-
lowed whole, and which taken in that con-
dition, even the anaconda cannot digest
properly under a week. But when we con-
slider that these persons repeat, with but
slight modification. the operation we have
described, THREE times a day, it becomes
q matter of melancholy reflection and grave
sOhcitude. How many years of life are cut
off by a system like this, it would be diff
cult to determine. nor is it worth the while,
for (and we do not intend to advance any
inhuman prOpOsitiOn) men who are such
savages as to gormandize thus, deserve to
be taken to another and-a more fruitful
world.
And yet we moderns (Americans especi-
ally) pretend to ridicule the elegant epicur-
ism of the ancients, those imaginative and
refined individuals, whose most sensual de-
Enrlf bo1 sc 1
with them. Instead of huge surlOins of
half roasted beef, tough mutton, and greasy
fras ments of the Jews abOmination, the
articles most in request among the Romans.
and which never failed to constitute the
''cdend" of the wealthy. were, according to
VarrO--"' the peacock from SamOs, the
Phrygian turkey, cranes from MclOs, Am
bracian kids, the Tartesian mullet, trouts
from Persenumtium, Tarentine, oysters.
crabs from Chios. Tatian nuts, Egyptian
dates, and lberian chestnuts" There
reader. think of that and reflect, besides.
that all these dainties were served up upon
plate of gold, and in chambers where the
''perfumed mir" stole around the statues
of good, and rustled the roses upon the
brows ofthe banqueters. And in the pauses
of the feast, Emusic from soft lutes," stole
in from some unseen recess, and lulled the
senses to an Elysian quiet, best suited to
contemplation. and-digestiOn. All! the
latter day" Romans. in losing the stern
virtues of their ancestors, gained profound
knowledge and appreciation of all the mys-
teries of the cuisine" and when we've,
the barbarians of the present age, sheer at
what We term their sumptuous ostentation,
we only expose our own Ignorance, and
blindness, to the fascinating philosophy of
one of the Fine Arts"
But. says the modern gourmand, despite
those soft lutes," swee: roses, 'perfumed
air." and golden plate, Julius Caesar ate,
at a meal, the revenue of several provinces.
Vitellius made four great meals a day.
Nero sat at table from midday till mid
night. Geta had an incredible number of
dishes served up to him in alphabetical Or
der; and the emperor Heliogabalus pos