Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1857-06-18
it's because you don't die and leave me your
money. Pa said you would, but you don't.
Grand Tableau-Wife screams husband
swears--and uncle makes hasty exit.
fatt, fma T. fantg,

- Cut my straps and let me 90 to glory, as
Dow, Jr., said when he first kissed girl.
Fashions votaries have too faults--they
are hollow. headed and hollow hearted.
The man who is proud of his money, has
rarely anything better to be proud Of
The pay of the Acknowledgement of In
diana in 1903, was only $50 year.
- Silence is an antidote against SANDER
Gus tongue.
If the doctor orders bark, has not the
patient right to growl?
Some descendant of Solomon has wisely
" remarked that those who go to law tor
damages are sure to get them.
Whoever is honest, generous, courteous,
and candid, is gentleman, whether ne be
learned or unlearned, rich or poor.
Wisdom requires three things-knowl-
edge to discern, judgment to weigh, and the
resolution to determine.
Why should potatoes grow better than
any other vegetable? Because they have
got eyes to see what they are doing.
If YOU want to sleep quietly, don'tpraise
another woman while your wife is undres-
sing for bed.
Why is the tolling of bell like the
prayer of hypocrite? Bekase it is SOL
emn sound by thoughtless tongue.
1t is stated that there are a, 900 men at
work on the lead mines of southwest Mis-
souri,.
"A friend cannot be known in prosperity,
and an enemy cannot be hidden in adver-
sity. ,,,
The parent who would train up a child
in the way it should go, must go in the way
in which he would train up the child.
The gem cannot be polished without
friction; neither can man be perfected with
out trials.
--Zeno, of all virtues, made his choice OF
silence; "for by it," said he, 81 hear other
mems imperfections, and conceal my own"
WHY does blacksmith seem the most
dissatisfied of all mechanics? Because he
is always striking for wages.
"A man attempted to seize favorable
opportunity, few days since, but his hold
slipped and he fell to the ground consider,
ably injured.
A man who dislikes mop-handles and
broomsticks should be careful how he spits
tobacco.juice on red-headed woman's car
pet.
-"Did you ever know such mechanical
genius as my son ?" said an old lady. "He
has made fiddle out of his own head, and
be has wood enough for another"
In country paper, the marriage Of O
Mr. Cooper to Miss Stave, is announced
The result will probably be hoops and bar
res.
If you wish to cure scolding wife, nev-
or fail to laugh at her with all your might
until she ceases, then kiss her. Sure cure,
and no quack medicine.
Aunt Betsey is shocked to hear that
"Mr. Smith keeps Sally Amanda Safe in his
contingencies" What would his wife say?
She7wouldn't be safe then, nor he either
1t is stated as a curious fact, that more
money is expended annually in the United
States for cigars, than is expended for all the
common schools in the Union.
-"Suppose you are lost in fog," said
Lord C. to his noble relative the marchloness
"what are you most likely to be ?" "Mist,
Of COURSE" replied her ladyship.
- Sterne used to say: "The most accom-
plished way of using books, is to serve them
as most people do lords-Iearn their titles,
and brag of their acquaintance.
There is a man in Algiers who tells such
good stories that his friends say it is danger
Gus to walk with him in the forests, for all
the hyenas come round him to laugh.
"Tommy, my son, what are you doing
there with your feet dangling in the water !
Trying to catch a cold, ma, so that [ can
have some of Mr.. Peters good lozenges."
%! dear, Mr.. Foster, you jest when you
say my baby is the handsomest one you ever
saw; you must be soft-soaping it, Well
madam, I thought it needed soap of some
kind.
-"John," says a doting parent to her
rather erinsatiable boy: "can you eat that pud-
ding with impunity?" ~ don't know, ma"
replied the young hopeful, "but Iguess can
with q spoon"
- In proportion aG men are real coin, and
not counterfeit, they scorn to enjoy credit
for what they have not. "Paint me-" said
Cromwell, "wrinkles and ALL" Even on
canvass the great hero despised falsehood.
"John," said careful father, "don't
give cousin simeon's horses too many oats:
They have hay, you know" "Yes, thur"
said John, moving towards the barn. "And
bark ye, John, don't give them too much
hay-you know they have OATS"
-"Come under my umbrella and save
duckipg," said an impudent fellow, to pref
ty miss, in the street on rainy day. "There's
one calf's head under it already, and that's
as many as it will conveniently cover" re-
piled the damsel.
"A lady beingin want of a dyer was refer
red to an excellent workman, and something
&C a xuae. l., bio limo The ladu nallad and