Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1857-03-09
EVENING STAR.
THE DISGUISED LOVER.
BIZ KENT.

My friend Tom has a natural affection 70,
dirt, or rather dirt has natural affection 70,
Tom 1t is to him what gold was to Midas
whatever he touches turns to dirt No matter
how white the cravat-no matter how immac
ulate the vest, the moment il comes within
the sphere of Toms influence, its whiteness is
| gone; it is immaculate no longer. Dogs
| sweeps, and lamplighter never pass him, with.
| out leaving upon his dress unequivocal marks
| of their presence. Once, and only once, saw
| him GROSS the street without encountering the
wheels of carriage I opened my mouth to
congratulate him, and before I could utter
one word, 1t was filed with mud. The care
less blockhead lay at my feet, full length in
the gutter. At my earnest solicitation, he
once purchased suit of precisely mud color
1t was q capital idea. He crossed the street
| three times; he walked half a mile, and re-
turned, In appearance, at least, unscathed
The thing was unprecedented. True, he was
welcomed by the affectionate caresses of a dog
that had been enjoying the GOODNESS of neigh.
boring horsepond true, he received shower
bath from the wheels Of an omnibus. But to
plaster mud on Toms new coat was "to gild
refined gold-to paint the lily"
Tom will be a neat man yet F" said as
witnessed the success of my plan.
In about half an hour it was my fate to meet
gentleman with seven stripes Of green paint
on his back-it was my friend Tom; he had
been leaning against some newly painted win
dow blinds.
His man Caesar declares that he " can't see
de use ob brak boot when lie neber s'ay
bracked;" ;" and his washerwoman, with a very
proper regard for her own reputation, has been
compelled to discard him, not from any i'll
will, but, as she declared with uplifted bands.
20 if any one should ask me if 1 washed Mr..
Smiths clothes, what could I tell them?" But
there were very few things in this world with
which Tom could have more easily dispensed
than the services of his washerwoman.
Having no other amusement, one morning
strolled over TO Toms room. ascended the
stairs, and heard his voice in q very decided
tone:
But it must be done, and so there is an
end to it''
"Rsally," was the reply, "anything within
ten hours-I will promise anything in the
world; but really fear shall be unable to
perform I"
eff double your price would be any OBJ
jsct"-
Certainly, sir, if you insist upon it-cer.
tainly. l will put every man in my shop
upon tit shall be done in time. Good morn
ing, SIR
The door opened, and a fellow with shears
and measures passed out. What could Tom
be deing with a tailor?
just the man wanted to see," exclaimed
Tom. 81 require your advise upon a very
important affair-which Of these craVats do
you think most beooming?"
And he spread before me some half dozen,
of every hue and fashion.
"Now, what in the name Of all that is woun
derful does this mean, Tom? A fancy bal
is it! You have chosen an excellent dis
guise; your nearest friends will never know
you. But you cannot support the character :;
if you had taken that of a chimney sweep,
now-but that would have been too natural
Tell me, Tom, what does all this mesp?"
"Why, the fact is, Frank" passing q hand
through his hair, redolent of mscassar, 81
have concluded-I think I shall be little
more neat in future. You doubtless remember
the good advice you gave me some time since;
it has had an excellent effect 1 assure you -
Now it so happened that of all the good ad.
vice had given Tenn, this was the very first
instance in which he had seen ft to follow it.
So l could not attribute the metamorphosis of
my friend to my eloquence. Who but wo-
man ever changed a sloven to fop.
"Pray, where are you going this evening""
continued, 4" that you must have a new coat
SO suddenly 2"
"GOinga Nowhere in particular. 1 had,
indeed, some idea of calling on my old friend,
Mr. Murray. No harm in that l hope ~
Conviction began to flash upon me-
"Your old friend Mr.. Murray And his
young niece, Miss Julia, has no share in the
visit, I suppose? L heard that she arrived in
town last night"
"Now, upon my word, Frank, you mistake
me entirely. L did not know that she was in
town last night-when THAT is, when IL
did not know anything about it"
"And so you were there last night, too
Really, this is getting along bravely.'
"Why the fact is, Frank, you must know
everything called last evening to see Muir
ray on some business about the real estate you
know. l had no more idea of meeting a VIC
man than boa-constrictor. NY beard was
three days old, my collar ditto, and the rest
of my dress in excellent keeping 1 became
engaged in conversation: ard some how or
other forgot all about the real estate"
And so you are going again to-night-and
that is the secret of Jour new coat 2"
by no means; wanted a new coat, and
tailors are SO long, you know. Do you think
blue will become me o. Blue is her favorite-
that isl mean blue
"Oh, 60 on-don't stammer-blue is her
favorite color, isn't it,"
"The fact is, Frank-take another glass of
this wine-the fact is-good wine, isn't it
been two voyages to the Indies-the fact is,
suppose-1 rather fsncy-I am a little in
love. Try some of that sherry What are
the symptoms, Frank a queer feeling about
the heart, and something which drives the
blood through one like lightning"
"Exastly!" :" 1 believe have seen Julia
short and chubby, isn't she-with red hair,
and little squint eyed ?"
Crank, I never did knock you down,
though have been tempted TO do SO a great
many times but, if You don't stop that nom
sense, will"
"Quite valiant in defence Of your lady love-
Well. Tom, 1 will confess that she is a lovely
girl, and tomorrow 1 will call and learn your
success. So, good morning"
"Well, Tom, what SUGGEST"
"Would you believe it she did not recog.
niEe me-"
"Not recognise you?"
"No. You know what quiz that Murrsy
is. As soon as he saw me enter, dressed IN
such style, he came up shook hands with Q,
and uithnnf giving me q chancA To aau or a