Anti-slavery bugle. [volume] (New-Lisbon, Ohio) 1845-1861, 1857-03-21
From Porters Split"
MATRIMONIAL ADVERTISEMENTS.

A lady who bad no idea of looking for n hus.
band, but with large proclivities Tor mischief and
for fun, put a matrimonial advertisement in the
Herald, with dire .tiCn for answers to be sent &c
a certain signature at the Broadway Postofice..-
AS the advertisement appeared TO the practical
approximations, by %assuming n neat little fortune, in
addition to an agreeable person, the seed VI such
temptation could not well fall IDLY upon such a
fertile bottom as is offered by the city of New
York Ga the first day that succeeded the adver
%tisemen;. the lady received seventeen replies or
the second day, thirty-two, and on the third, seven
ty-two-an extent, an ardOr of appreciation, foi
her vaguely described personal attractions, which
even she was NOT prepared to expect.
Bewildered by the warm volume of alteration
and eTtreaty W hich issued from this hymenial
magazine, the lady called to her aid FIVE ladies as
as herself. One pair of hands and
one mind were. of course, quite unequal TO the
task of answering all ; so the batch of billet.duux
was divided equally among them. and each was to
make an appointment with the writers on the fol-
lowing Saturday afternoon, at 4 o'clock, on the
lower side OF the upstairs saloons of a certain
popular restaurant in Broadway. Each of the la.
dies, moreover, who took this task in charge, chose
II different colored paper for replies. Finally it
was agreed that the whole six should be present
at the interview, and that each should wear the
exact costume prescribed for the inamorata whom
the signing SWANS would be there to see. On the
other hand, the gentlemen were directed to appear
y" W - " hbtlTc anu position, which
female ingenuity and mischief could devise. One
was requested to wear II blue coat and bright brass
buttons another to have his hair parted in the
middle one was to be eating a plate of pork and
beans, which said the ingenious I writer who
dictated it, you can scarcely expect to he called
for by any body else" Others were to he partakin.
of various dishes, or to place themselves in suci
attitudes aud pastures as were directed by tn,
writer.
At 4 o'clock on the prescribed Saturday after
noon, every chair at every table on the lower sid,
of the upstairs saloon, was filled with slick look
ing, highly perlumed Leanders, all gazing int
each others faces. and each secretly cursing tn,
luck which wedged him 80 closely out O
the killing positions and display which he hat
been meditating ever since he got his note. AnC
how the dishes smoked. and the wondering wait
ers few Even the perplexed landlord, amazed
at this miraculous flow of business, was Obliged I,
drop his own mutton chop. and call out the entir,
force Of his establishment, to meet the clamorous
if not threatening demands of gentlemen who
feared they might not get their telegraphing plat,
of duck OF mess Of pork and beans in time. .
AT length the clash Of sheen and kick of stiff
skirts, was heard coming up the stairs one minute
after four, and an inamorata appeared, dressed ir
dark green, with deep fur cape. and abundant
dropping lace. She was wafered on the back O
the head with an infDitesimsl bonnet. and csrrai