The Council Bluffs nonpareil. [volume] (Council Bluffs [Iowa]) 1857-1867, 1857-10-31
lNDlsCnl1ltNAT1 sRUfrfNos OF YVES.
a82u D0VgN1eA GOoD xAK8-01Es 4

ERN H0WNa-A GocD TAK8-o1F. e.1
The Dubuque 7smes says, that the Es'
press 4 Hs1alS of that city, has travelling
correspondent, Who has contributed to the
columns II that paper, Of late, over u.
signature Of "H. G. K.", "most stupid
and dry series Of articles : - =
as devoid Of interest to the general reader,
as list Of names in city directory, -
displaying "neither talent, nor culture, mol
While several Of his puas Of
Western towns hare been copied into, the
papers published in those towns, other pa
pers are getting up burlesques on them.
These puls often contain even the name Of
ssthe village blacksmith particularly il be
subscribe Tor the Express and Herald -
There is NO Discrimination in the notices oi
town which "H. G. K" visits
is the most thriving in the West.
Several Of the burlesquess referred to are
decidedly rich. We aggregate from one on
s. s.Hirorum Rapids" found in the Cedar Falls
Banner. After mentioning that ssthe town
at present kontains houssn m 30 inhabit-
ants, nostly one story hi an filed in with
brick," }" together with other interesting facts,
the writer proceeds as follows: rg,s /.
The citizens held . meetin last mite, fos
the purpose Of raisin pie to invest in
copies Of your paper. l jist tole EN- that
wouldn't move peg till I'D see the pile;
that want goin to send up their town ia
immortal glory, or doun to eternal posterity,
without they'd take . lot Of the papers, on
the glowing pages Of which was depicted
the transcendant advantages of ther ad.
mirable town. Skwire Crawley was kalled
to the cheer, an presided over the delibera-
tions with his usual wisdom an equanamer-
ty. Jabez Kruper arose m promulgated his
vews of ther persition, winding up with the
followering sublime, sysbolercal fgger, .
ssYes, my frens! here in our midst, rite in
this town, we'll stick doun the scion of
wen pour round its roots the
waters of enterprise, fork in the manure Of
energy, an top-dress it with eternal vigi-
lance, till its branches shoot-tower-up-
up-up-shoot-clean above
Jake Stars sign-post." then arose an
made few remarks in my usual happy
style, an was rewarded by six copies Of your
paper bein taken, which was quite up to
my expectations, an therefore will proceed
to describe ther town, &c. -. s.$g .5
Lokation.-Hirorum is sitewated in a
lovely dell, on all sides Of which picteresk
rocks rear ther vine-cIad heads, their basis
famed by wavin ferns, and draped in golden
moss. Windin round these picturesk fe-
lures of the landscape, are verdant paths
leadin to cosie hooks, bespangled with flow-
ers of such bewilderin sweetness, that q
miser would fling aside his gold, an tear his
hair in despair at having but one nose; a
poet sit doun, fold up the wings of his fancy
an weep that ther was nOthin more left fur
his imagination, for as well might he strive
to conceive a spot SURPRISING that a. for a
blind monkey to undertake to paint paradise
with toothpick. J. .,'''.''- q
Railroads.&c. branch of the Grand Spi-
raj Stub and Twist Air Line Railroad is un-
der kontract from Arbustum City to this
place, as soon as the above work is finished,
the citizens of this town intend runnin a
back action, brecch-loading side-cut to the
to be diskivered. .. o..
Manufacture Esta6Kshments.-On shin
gle factry, druv by hand and made to exc
NOUS piece of compound lever mechanism
fur the manefacter Of roofhn material, by
Prime & Cullins. One beautiful notched
steel machine, havin reciprocatin motion,
worked by man at either end, fur the pur-
pose Of elaboratin of logs in two-operated
by Prime and Cullins. sa
General Hasieties.-Nary q one. re
Groceries.-Skwire Crawley. Is
Post Ofce.-Skwire Crawle, P. NJ.
Hotels.-Star Hotel, by Jacob. o.s
1fmber.-The surrounding hills are Xiv
cred with splendid growth Of that useful
variety known as hazel, to the durability
an elasticity of which the risin generation
can testify. -...-.......-....... -. ~.
Skules.-T There is one tri-weakly inster.
tooshun fur teachin the "young idea how to
shute." ,.-..-..-. -.-.. --,...,7.s .s..H asf
Town property seems to be all of price,
no matter where the lots lays it's 500 dollars.
The chances fur laborin men is good. Craw-
ley has his well dug deep as he can shuvel
it out, an there is now fine opiniDg fuI
..e q -
Amusements.-In clear weather most oi
the inhabitants krawl up the hillside and
lay in the sun; when kloudy, pitch horse
shews fur beer. E ss~a. -. : ..7 E.r
Works Of Art.-One splendid oil paint
in, demi-entomelogikel an semi astronomi-
kel. .-..s.,..-....- -. .s.-f as sss q
will start fur Fooselum city in a day OF
two, if can git away from Star, he wont
hear of my leavin yet.
Yures till deth aAlTCH SEE CAY.