Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1857-11-26

of o lr tale made one of the safe investments
ofthat day; he bought Times and Punch;
the latter was full of steel pen thrusts and
wood-cuts. Valor and beauty deigned to
laugh at some inflated humbug or other
punctured by Punch Now, laughing to-
gether thaws our human ice long before
Swindon, it was talking match-at Swim
don, who 50 devoted as Captain Dolignan-
he handed them out-he souped them-he
tough-chikened them-he branded and CO.
chinealed one, and he branded and burnt
sugared the other; on their return to their
carriage, one lady passed into the inner
compartment to inspect a certain gentle
mans seat On that side the line.
Reader had it been you or I. the beauty
would have stayed with us till all was blue,
ourselves included; not more surely does
our slice of bread and butter, when it es-
capes from our hand, revolve it ever so Of
ten, alight face downwards on the carpet
But this was bit Of a fop, Adonis, dragoon
so Venus remained tete q tete with him.
You have seen dog meet an unknown fe-
male of his species; how handsome, how
empresse, how expressive, he becomes; such
was Dolignan after Swindon, and, to do the
dog justice, he got handsomer and you have
seen cat conscious of approaching cream
such was Miss Haythorn she became de-
murer. Presently our Captain looked out
of the window and laughed this elected an
inquiring look from Miss Haythorn. ''We
are only mile from the Box Tunnel"
as'Do you always laugh mile from the
Box Tunnel?" inquired the lady.
Invariably"
s.What for?"
"Why, hem it's gentleman's Joke"
ooh! [ don't mind it's being silly, if it
makes me laugh"
Captain Dolignan, thus encouraged, re-
counted to Miss Haythorn the following: A
lady and her husband sat together, going
through the Box Tunnel. There was one
gentleman opposite, and it was pitch dark
After the tunnel had been passed through,
the lady said: George, how absurd of you
to salute me going through the tunnel! p
Il did no such thingp' ''You didn't ?''-
''No !! why?' "Why, because somehow l
thoueht you did p =. !
Here Uaptatn-ssvf1s
deavored to lead his companion to laugh,
but it was not to be done.
The train entered the tunnel
Miss Haythorn 'Ahp'
Dolignan. EsWhat is the matter %
Miss Haythorn. Il am frightened.''
Dollgnan, (moving to her side,) s''Pray |.
do not be alarmed, am near you"
Miss Haythorn. s'You are near me,
very near me indeed, Captain Dolignan"
Dolignan. ''You know my name!''
Miss Haythorn. Il heard your friend
mention it, | wish we were cut Of this
dark place
Dolignan. Il could be content to spend
hours here, reassuring you, sweet lady"
Miss Haythorn. Nonsense"
Dolignan. ''Pweepw
(Grave reader, do not put your lips to
the cheek of the next pretty girl you meet,
or you will understand what this means.)
Miss Haythorn ''Ee Ee! OH
Friend. 'sWhat's the matter, dear %
Miss Haythorn. "Open the door! open
the do55rH'
There was a sound of hurried whispers, I
the door was shut, and the blind pulled down
with hostile sharpness.
If any critic falls on me for putting inar-
ticulate sounds in dialogue as above, | an
swer, with all the insolence | can command
at present, Hit boys as big as yourself"
bigger, perhaps such as Sophocles, Euripides
and Aristophanes; they began it, and learn
ed it Of them, sore against my will
Miss Haythorn's scream lost part of it's +
effect, because the engine whistled forty
thousand murders at the same moment and
fictitious grief makes itself heard when real
cannot.
Between the tunnel and Bath, our young
friend had time to ask himself whether his !
conduct had been marked by that delicate
reserve which is supposed to distinguish the
perfect gentleman
With long face, real or feigned, he held |
open the door-his late friends attempted to
escape on the other de-impossible! they
must pass him. She whom he had insulted
(Latin for kisseD deposited somewhere at
his foot, a look of gentle blushing reproach;
the other, whom he had not insulted, dart
ed red-hot daggers at him from her eyes,
and SO they parted.
Ao Wdo peIudpS IOituUdtc lOI DUllSudl
that he had the grace to be friends with
Major Hoskyns of his regiment, veteran
laughed at by the youngsters, for the Ma
jor was too apt to look coldly upon billiard
balls and cigars; he had seen cannon balls
and linstocks. He had also, to tell the
truth, swallowed a good bit Of the mess
room poker, but with it some sort of moral
poker. which made it as impossible for Ma