New Orleans daily crescent. [volume] ([New Orleans, La.]) 1851-1866, 1857-06-01
Clippings


A Coop Cow.-Ata sale Of farming stock in Glou-
England the auctioneer gave the follow
ing extempore description Of a cow
Long in her Sides bright in her eyes,
Short in her legs, thin in her thighs,
Big in her ribs. wide in her pins,
Full in her bosom, small in her shins,
Long in her face, fine in her tail,
And never deficient in filling her pail.
GA smile; who will refuse a smile
The sorrowing breast to cheer?
And turn to love the heart Of guile
And check the falling tear7
pleasant smile for every face
Oh, tits blessed thing!
1t will the lines of care erase,
And spots of beauty bring.
A Western poet witnessed pugilistic encounter,
which he thus immortalized
And Isaac he pitched into him,
And hymn pitched into he;
Ye waye they fytte was sin,
And horryble to see!
A Coop SToRY.-A "nice young man" who
stopped in a small country town over Sunday, got
himself into scrape in the following manner
He prepared himself to attend church, but not pos
sessing that very important chatel watch, and be-
ing particularly DESTROYS of cutting dash, he applied
to the landlord for the loan Of one. The landlord,
possessing very powerful alarm watch readily COM
piled with the request, but previously wound up the
alarm and set it at the hour which he supposed would
be about the middle Of the first prayer The dandy
repaired to the church, he with all the grace of
finished exquisite, at the first prayer, and stood
playing very gracefully with the borrowed seals,
when suddenly he jumped as if he had discovered a
den of rattesnakes; the whzzing of the alarm com
menced The people started, the dandy made q furi
GUS grab at the offending watch with both hands out
side the pocket and tried to squeeze it into silence,
but in vain it kept up its tu,T7r and it seemed as
though it never would stop The sweat rolled off the
poor fellow, he seized his hat and making one effort
at the door, hurried off with his watch in one hand
and his hat in the other amid the suppressed laughter
of the whole congregation.
A MODEL LETTER.-Some amenuenss for an indig-
nant subscriber, sends us the following letter. We
give it verbatim as near the compositor can de-
CIPHER it:
Mr.. VA MEDIL g. co-cur-I wisht you'd cend IS
pepper bi male the dam ting dount kaum hat the tim
we suspose sum body stees it at the depough for the
txet agent sas how that nobody on the kears ant
respsble for EN- rite for the requst of wife he being
gon alb scent who thinks a CRATE eel of the pepper.
Yours & Co. [Chicago Tribune.
To tell falsehood is like the cut of sabre for
though the wound may heal, the scar of it will re-
main.
The following is said to be the recipe for max
ing a Chicago Alderman's sandwich. Brandy at
the BOTTOM gin at the top, and water between, the
latter thin as it can be spread
careless barber trimming the ears Of q customer
put him to some uneasness.
" Are you trimming my left now!''
"No, sir, not till have done the right
cob (! only thought, by what | felt, that you were
passing through to my left ear without going round
Near Cleveland lives hale and hearty man, whose
e says he is possessed of the most sensitive feelings
'and in proof Of which she states that when she goes
into the yard and saws wood for half day. be sits
by the fire with tears in his eyes.
Suffering Ben, in grocery, observing that the oil
merchant did not more than haffill the measure,
called out to him: Mister, tttell you how to
sell t.t.twice as much ell as you do now.' Well,
how ~ growled the grocer. Fi.ti-f your measure.
A French peasant woman recently appeared before
a tribunal to complain of the lusage she received
from her husband, What pretext had he for beat
ing you ~ inquired the President. Please, sir, he
did'n have no pretext-it was thick stick.''
Why is peg in a new boot like pang of con.
science? Because it is apt to pierce the sole.
The friendship which is founded on love of virtue
is the happiest as well as the most permanent.
Sophistry is like window curtain-it pleases as an
ornament, but its use is to keep out the light.
The Boston Post makes the following ANN ounce-
ment
al don't care much about the bugs" said Mr.. Bare
bones to the head OF the genteel private family in
which he resides "but the fact is, marm hain't got
no blood to spare-you see that yourself"
IMPROVEMENTS AT THE CAP1ToL.-We notice with
pleasure that the repairs the Capitol, ordered by
the last Legislature, have been commenced The
building will receive outside coat-repairs will
besmade to the roof-doors will be repainted, etc
The work is to be conducted under the superntend-
ence of James McVay, Esq. [Baton Rouge Gaz., 23d.
A gentleman who, at breakfast the other morning,
broke egg and disturbed the repose of sentiment
tal.looking biddy, called the waiter, and insinuated
that he did not like to have bill presented till he
had done eating"
An obituary notice consoles the friends of the de-
ceased by the reflection that, though she may not
return to them, they may shortly go to her." This is
consolation not generally appreciated by the life
loving people of our day.
What is the difference between glass of brandy
and five dollar bill One is eau-deyie, the other
dough.