Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1857-08-06

So N O. la f
with green mounds and clustering ghosts Of
marble; even so is my heart full of buried
joys and broken shafts Of purpose, that look
ghostly and terrible in the. cold moonlight
of the world. sfs -.
"A chalk outline of my early life has
been drawn for you. There was no hyper
bole in that description. Even you, proud
-eynic as you are, dare not affirm it. But
although she did not captivate me by rea-
son Of gazelle eye, queeuly form, or any
of those Establishments which poets shower
upon their fair ideals, there was some
thing. about her which bound me as fast
as ever mortal was bound When she
read tune out Of some rare gold clasped
volume ofs HE mythic fancies of the past,
beneath the leafy trees of summer, adding
to the poets glowing words wonderous
charm by the magic of her rich, full voice;
or recited, as I mused by the streams side.
the lines of our. best loved, of the modern
masters of the shell; or sang delicious bal
lads in the twilight, Ginning her tones with
the passion-breathings of the harp, she was
to me something more than an ordinary
earthborn mortal My soul bowed in meak-
ness before her, and strong, deep love,
twined itself around the pillars of my be-
ing, rivaling the oak-clasp of our manhood's
boasted affection.
"When it was decreed, that I should 60
from home to school far away, the griefs that
burstin on my boyish mind may be imagined
Parents know not what they do when they
put their children on those popular tread
mills, called boarding-schools. They may
do we'll as sort of hackney coaches to break
unruly colts in, but to send sober sensi-
tive boy, to pine in spirit and destroy his
health within their walls, is doom more
terrible than that of Prometheus. At the
age Of fifteen [ knew but little of the science
of repressing feeling and affection any pro-
gress which I have since made is due to the
excellent instruction Of that indefinite thing,
as indefnate in affection as in numbers,
which makes what is called the world. The
process Of acquiring this knowledge was not
very agreeable, but I endured it. The
tears that we're wrong from my heart. in its
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Not. one, wond Slisk Iiiments "a;
ever passed between us. My love was as
deep and constant as the ocean, and fond
ly thought hers the same. But it proved
to be only ripping, singing meadow
stream. The rivulet never reached the o.
cean, but lost itself in sluggish creek, whose
only use was to turn a mill, whose only
music was the hoarse croaking of frogs.
1--WE parted with esteem and affection,
but not a word of love was spoken. She
gave me sisterly adieu, and bade me re-
member her; needless command, as had
not the power Of forgetting her. Love, or
more properly speaking passionate friend
ship, is not always to be controlled by voli-
ton, but often so twines itself around every
fibre of the heart as to set all volition at de-
fance. This is true oftentimes, and hence
has arisen the old aphorism that first love
is the only love- That home-leaving is an
indestructible thing Of memory. How can
I speak of the parental warnings and cour-
sci, and tears, of sisters sweet smile and
loving kiss, and of Julia's tenderness, so
dear to my heart? wrapped my soul in
great resolves. Nothing would satisfy me
but fame and glory, and then it was delight
full to think that she would hear of me and
be proud, and would marry me for my
greatness. Alas how we deceive ourselves.
The girl who will not love you for your
heart, will not love you for your greatness
She may wed your fame, but you-never.
"Years passed swiftly, and we saw but
little of each other The school where L
studied was far away, and frequently when
I went home to spend vacation she was tour
ing in far-of parts Of the country. It grew
more apparent every year that my heart had.
lost it's hold upon her. She was colder,
more formal, when we were together
There was in her bearing towards me none Of
that charming frankness and feiendly ease
which used to mark our intercourse. We
scarce ever wandered through the woods or.
by the stream, our readings were.discontin-
ued, and fashionable talk substituted -
This was nauseous to me. My ambitious
efforts had drawn me from the world and
given my being an impetus in another and
opposite direction. Our paths were diverg-
ing; the distance of direction grew wider
every year, wider-wider.
cit would be doing her injustice to sup
pose that she was ever unkind in action or
word. She ever extended to me the same
hand of sisterly kindness, she displayed the
same gentleness and regard for my happi-
ness and interests. But this was not what
I wanted. 1t was love, wild, passionate,
whole-souled love, that I so earnestly crav-
ed. Some heart to throw myself upon when
the night of loneliness and disquietude came
over my soul, some voice that could thrill
the darkness like the nightingale's song !;
for these / would have hartered worlds were