The Perrysburg journal. [volume] (Perrysburg, Ohio) 1853-1861, 1857-07-23
The Disguised Lover.
BY KENT.


My friend Tom has ma ural affection for dirt,
or rather dirt has natural affection for Tom
It is to him what gold was to Mdas-whatev-
er he touches turns to dirt. No matter how
white the cravat-no matter how immaculate
the vest, the moment il comes within the sphere
OF Toms influence, its whiteness is gonea 1t is
immaculate no longer. Dogs, sweeps, and lamp
lighters never pass him without leaving upon
his dress unequivocal marks OF their presence.
Once, and only once, saw him cross the street
without encountering the wheels Of a carriage.
| opened my mouth to congratulate him, and
before could utter one word, it was filled with
mud The careless blockhead lay at my feet,
full length in the gutter. At my earnest solic-
italion he once purchased suit OF precisely
mud color. II was a capital idea. He crossed
the street three times he walked htf mile,
and returned, in appearance, at least, unsca thed.
The thing was unprecedented, True, he " as
welcomad BY the aff.ctonate caresses of dog
that had been enjoying the GOODNESS Of neigh
boring hossepeud; true, he received a shower
bath fIom The wheels of an omnibus. But to
plaster mud on Toms new coat was " to gild
refined god-to paint the lilly
Tom will be n.st man yet,' | said, as |
witnessed the success of my plan.
In about half an hour it was my fate to met
, II gentleman with seven stripes of green paint
on his back-t was my friend Tom he had
been leaning against some newly painted win
dow blinds.
/ His mau Cesar declares that he " can't see de
use oh bruk a boot when he neb-r stay braked;"
and his washerwOman, with very prhper re.
gard Tor her own reputation, has been compell-
ed to discard him, not fro any i'll will, but,
as she declared with upifted hands, " if any one
should ask me if washed Mr. Smiths clothes,
what could tell themY' But there were very
few things in this world with which Tom could
have more easily dispensed. than the seryicrs of
his washrrwoman.
Having no other amusement. one morning |
strolIed over to Toms room assembled the
stairs, and heard his voice in very decided
tone:
J Butt must be done, and so there's no end
! to it,"
Really" wos the rep,v. "any.hing within
the limits of p1s.ibilitv hi to IN Ike A coat in
| ten hours-I will promise ANYTHING in the world;
but | really fear I shall he unable TO p4rfnrm"
"If dluble your prFce wnuld BE- any Object
Certainly, sir, if you Insist upon it-cpr.
! tainIy. | will put every man in nv shnn u. n
! it'll shall b. done in lin, Good morning
sir"
! rh, door onnneJ and rallnv with shears
and measnrrrs ptss-I. what could Tom b.
doing with tpilor7
i "Just the man | wanted TO see" exclaimed
Tom. 81 raorire vpur atIvi,4 upon a very i'm
por,rnt nilaif-wiich Of these crayats do vou
! think nnst brco,,iuu ?"
4 And h, spread before me som. half dozen. Of
every hue and fashion.
Nov. what in the nn,nc of all that is wonder
full doss his m an, Tom? A fancy ball. is it
You have chosen an excellent disguise; youi
r. nearest neichbor will never know Won. Bat vou
cannot sun ort the character. if Won had taken
thai Of chimney svr.n. noy-bi,t that wonIl
have been TO natural III me-. Tom. what does
all this mean?
., "Why. IN, fact is. Frank" passing hurd
:. lh orgh his hair. r,dol,ut of m,cassar,1 | hav,
concludeA-l think I shall he a littl- more reat
in future. You doubtless remember the good
advice YOU gave m soIna time since: has had
an excellent ff.ct. assure YOU"
Now It so hapn-neI that of all the good ad
= vice [ had given Tom. this was the very frs
instance in which ha had srep fit to follow it
So could not attribute the meIamorphoss n
my friend TO NV elooupnce. Who but a woman
ever changed slpven to a fop.
PRAY. where are Won going this evening"
con,ipued that you must have a new coat s,
suddenly ?"
"Grivg? Nowhere in particular. I had. in
d.pd. some idea of calling on NV Old friend, Mr.
Murray. No harm in that, | hope"
Conviction began TO fash upou me.
Your old friend, Mr.. Mnrr,y. And hi,
young niece. Miss Julia, has no share in the visit
suppose heard that she arrived in towr
last night"
"Now, upon my word, Frank, you mistake nj
entirely. did not know that she was in town