The Council Bluffs nonpareil. [volume] (Council Bluffs [Iowa]) 1857-1867, 1857-12-12
1 errryNe n rfoHr PLACE.


During the brush between sUncls Sam
and the Dfitishsrs, regiment was raised in
Canada, called tho Kings Own,' but was
more properly named the 'Dev.l's Own, its
adYsnf ID place being moro dreaded than
an inyssion from Yaukesdom. The olIeers
kept up the Satanic fame Of their corps with
coinmendable spirit, the .pitar' being Ensign
DE. He was the most consummate practi-
cal joker in the army, and his messmates
held him in awe in consequence Of the re-
peated success Of his tricks upon them. At
ter an outrageous affair which nearly cost
the lives Of two or three Of his comrades, it
was resolved to retaliate at the earliest op.
portunity, which soon offered.
The regiment, on the march to the from
tier, bivouacked in the vicinity Of L'Acadie.
1t then became a question Of some import
to know how ness table was to be garnished.
One suggested very common expedient
among both officers and men, viz: q visit
to some neighboring hcn-coop. Another
Immediately added that mile from the en-.
campment he had noticed an old lady feed
ing some pretty plump geese.
sLet's have 'em by all means,' cried DE.
The party sailed ont, and on reaching the
old lady's premises, q reconnaissance showed
that the geese were penned up under one Of
those ovens which the generality of Canadi.
ans build near their houses, instead Of bak.
ing their bread as in this country.
who'll crawl imp came to be the ques'
ton.
DE. will; he understands the business
and is the smallest chap among u.s. sale
one of the party.
Certainly said DE, who always sough
distinction in exploits Of the kind. & will
but some Of you must go to the house ant
entertain the old woman 80 she may not in
terrupt my operations.
DE-, although q small man, had to exer
his utmost strength in order to squeeze him
self through the little door Of the pen.
sNow, he cried, warding of the attack o
belligerent old goose, run in to the oil
woman ~
And they did run in.
MADAM! Madam thoy cried-'there's
fellow stealing your geese! Come qnick
quickn .-
The old lady flew to the chimney corner
seized her broom, and sailed forth to sur
prise the Ensign in the hottest Of the tussl
with his ferocious antagonist, the patriarch
al goose. She instantly proceeded to init
mate her presence by dealing the tresspass
err terrific blow, the full force of which hi
upon the exposed part with unresisted effect
As he had on his sshell-jacket' only.
Hello, there! stop that, you fools-yo
hurt = shouted the officer.
sHa, you rascal the Infatuated woma
shrieked. I'll teach you to rob poor Ion
wilder of her lorful property and she az
piled her weapon to the culprit with re
doubled energy.
sMurderp yelled the Ensign.
'That's it, whispered the captain, VII
owed DE. grudge of long standing
sGive it to the fellow he added, pattin
her encouragingy On the shoulder.
Whack-whack went the broom stick.
'Ough-murder Murder-r-rv yelled tt
depredator.
Strike lower, my good woman," said tt
vindictive captain, with as much coolne!
rs if he were experimenting military hos
gins.
The injunction was implicitly followed
DE. roared with pain, and made superh'
man efforts to extricate himself. His con
panions, nll but the memorable captain, We
rolling upon the grass, convulsed VII
laughter. .a.
'pll give you guinea if you'll stop sal
the Ensign. .e .
I'll give you two--go it, whispered IL
captain urging her on. ,:s
She resumed the castigation with u bio
that sent the broomstick lying in two piece
D'E. grew desperate, and with the yell Of
Mohawk, he escaped goose in each ham
Ho Toasted alone upon the booty th
night, but tho others were too delighted
complain of a slim mess in consequence
COTTAGE Gazette.