The independent press. (Abbeville C.H., S.C.) 1853-1860, 1857-10-09
ADDhFlLLE IL, SOUTH CAROLINA, FRIDAY MORNING. OCTOBER 1877
Matrimony.
by MISS RosAMoSp C,junY


Now, girls stop looking at tho young
gentlemen; do sorpc,hing sensible, aul
stop building air, castles and talking of lov
ers and honey-noons. 1t makes inc sick
IL Is perfectly antimonial. Love is fare
-matrlmony is a humbug. Husbands art
domestic Napoleons, Ncroes, Alcxanders
signing Tor other hearts TO conquer alte
they are sure ofyours.
1hc honeymoon is as slort-lived as a Incl
Ter match. After that you may wear YOU
wedding dress at breakfast and your night
cap 10 meeting and your husband wouldn ,
Know 1t. You may pick your own pocke
handkerchief, help yourselfto chair, ant
split your gown across the back in reaching
over the table for piece ofbuttcr, while II.
Is laying i'll his breakfast as if was til.
last meal he sho"Ll eat in the world
W hen he gets through, he will aid you,
digestion, while you are slipping your first
cup OF coffee, 10y inquiring what you'll have
Tor dinner if the cold lamb was all ate
yesterday; ifthc charcoal is all out and
how much you gave for the last green tc;.
you bought. Then he gets up from the Ia.
ble, lights his cigar with the last evenings
paper that you have not had chance to
read gives too or three whiffs of smoke,
which are sure TO give you hea,lach for
the afternoon, aud just as his coat-tail is
vanishing through the door, apologies for
not doing that errand for you Yesterday
thinks it doubtful if he can to-day, so pressed
with business. Hear of him ] o'clock tax
ing an icecrcam with some l;.des at the con-
fectioners, while you are at home new
lining his coat sleeves. Children bv the
ears all day can't get out to take the
tho air; feel as crazy as fly in drum.
Husband comes home at night, mods n
how dye do Fan r! boxes Cl,arley's ears !;
stands LITTLE Fanny in the corner, sits down
III the easiest chair i'll the warmest nook ::
put his tect up over the CRATE, shutting out
all the fire while the baby's little pug nose
grows blue with the cold reads tie news
paper all to himself, solaces his inner man
with cup Of tea, and, just as YOU are
laboring under the halIucination that he
will ask you to take a moutlful of fresh air
with him, he puts Oh Ills dressing gown aud
slippers and begins to reckon up the fami-
" expe''scs after which lie lies down on
the sofa, and you keep time with your
needle while he sleeps till 0 o'clock. Next
morning, ask him to leave you u little mon
ey ; he looks at you as if to be sure,
that you are in your right mind; draws a
sigh long enough and strong enough TO in
tlate pair ofbelcws, and asks you what
you want with it, and if half dollar won't
do. Gracious king as if all these little
shoes and stockings, and shirts could be
had for a half IL dollar
., girls, set your affections on cats, mood
les, parrots or lap dogs, but let natriinony
alone; its the hardest way on earth to get
living you never knew when your work
is done. Think Of carrying eight or nine
children through measles, chicken pox
rash, mumps, scarlet fcvcr-one of them
twice over. 1t makes my head ache to
think OF it. O you may scrimp and save
and turn and twist, and dig and deIve, and
economize and die, and your husband will
marry again, and take what you have saw
ed 10 dress his second wife with, and she'll
take your portrait for a fire-board! But
what's the use oftalking--I'll warrant eve-
ry one Of you II try it the first chance you
get, for some how there is a sort of bewitch
ment abontit. I wish one half the world
were not fools and the other half idiots!