Mineral Point tribune. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1854-1858, 1857-05-26
From the Homo Journal.
A VISIT TO HADtS.
by T. P0DHAMMER,

had partalen of late supper will
some literary friends, whereat not only ;
generous quantity OF Substantials had beer
t disposed OF, but also an indefinitely laro,
4 number of champagne bottles had beer
; emf tied.
! We had separated in that elevated state
OF mind and body which is about midway
r between tie terrene ard celestial, bu
, against which, from mysterious causes
ali the powers of this wicked world. and
. especially graduation, have a peculiar
spite.
had reached my boarding house in
safety, however, III spite of the attempts
OF several lamp posts and shade trees ,o
; intercept me. Although the key-hole had
repeatedly lodged my night-key, had
accomplished the feat of unlocking the
door, had mounted the stairs, and entered
my room,
As was taking off my coat, to my utter
amazement, 1t Jerked ne violently back
ward; as | divested myself of my vest, il,
strenuously ly attempted TO pl;cl me forward
and, as | emerged from my continual
tions,' they had the unheard of audacity
to trip me up. With execrations, | con-
sgned each of the offenders 10 a separate
place upon the floor, and with the emo
tions of prosecuted martyr who has at
length reached a place OF safety, deposit
ed myself in my bed
Here naturally tegan TO ponder on
/ the arduous struggle winch superior gem
ius has ever been compelled TO maintain
with the physical and intellectual elements
IN this unappreciative and ungrateful
world.
| was led to the conclusion that the
sooner it effects It's escape to a state of
pure etherialism, the better. However,
1t may be with the grosser masses of man
kind, thought 1, it is bur natural instinct
OF genius 10 live fast, that il may thus the
sooner reach more congenial spheres.
Thus was retiecing when / was star
lied al seeing at my bedside a rather in.
distinct and shadowy form, the outlines of
which were those of the genus homo, but
! Yet were 50 dimly defined as to impress
me with The idea that it was not exactly
ordinary flesh and blood. How II had
effected an entrance. was mystery TO
me; bat without giving me time TO de-
mand explanations, with a profound bow
Ii thus addressed me:
' trust that Mr.. Podhammer will par
don the unceremoniousnes of my visit,
| when | inform HIM that | am the ghost of
a defunct literary man. My name, when
in the body, was Smith"
g am happy to know you Smith. To
what am | indebted for the honor-"
g was about to explain, SIR, that by
! the mysterious law of sympathetic attrac-
ton which governs Us spirits, have for
some time been attached 10 your person
az an invisible attendant. In fact, | NAV
call myself your guardian angel"
g am proud TO have guardian angel
o. the Ittustrious name of Smith"
Being tonight for the first time able
to reveal myself TO your mortal senses,
would avail myself of the opportunity to
offer 10 YOU the rare privilege of witness
ing the happy condition of the shades of
the llteratl, by visiting them at their abodes
in the Hades. Shall have the honor Of
esboating you thither g.
Really, Smith, | should be most hap
py to accompany you, but have been in
formed that, although the descent TO The
locality you speak of, Is easy, ySt to re-
turn thence, hic, labor, hoe opus est,
You know
Give yourself no uneasiness on that
score, my dear fellow. | pledge you the
word Of a Smith that YOU shall return safe
! ly whenever you may wish"
On receiving this satisfactory assurance
| was not long in exchanging my horizon
tai position for a perpendicular one. The
garments which | had recently cast of
were speedily restored, each to its proper
place on my person, and we descended tc
10 the street.
A carriage stood before the door, which
my guardian angel directed me to enter
No sooner had he taken seat beside me
than the driver cracked his whip, and the
equipage rose in the air, and dashed
r through it al a speed that almost took
2 away my breath.
! Cities, plains, lakes. rivers, ocean, ap.
r peared below, and disappeared in a twink
5 ling, but | was too dizzy to observe them
I carefully.
Moreover, the goblin shapes of Chaos
> Famine, the Furles and Discord, with
; Charon, the questionable passage acros:
: the river Stvx, and the dog Cerberus, o.
which | had read in Virgil years ago
,hronged before my minds eye in no at
tractive shape, and | ventured an inquir,
/ of my companion, whether these still re
NAMED as IN the days of " father IEneas.
Bless you!' said he, '' do you suppose
: that while you mortals have been progress
: sing, we in Hades have stood still Th,
e things of which you speak scarcely hav,
place in the memory of the Oldest in
; habitant.
' Famine was long ago starved out, anc
now keeping a propperV IN Mineral Point
Wis. DlsCord was, some years since
: elected to the United States Congress, anC
: is now an active politician in your country
: "The Furies have taken human form
r and Bloomer costume, and are now IL
= America, agitating woman's rights, am
: other kindred reforms.
). "The river Styx has long been spanne'
Z, by a suspension bridge, and Cerberus Eel
= victim to the dog-law last summer
. Scarcely was his said, when after