Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1857-04-23
fatt, flu1 4 fantp,

keep OH the cnaps.
What grows less tired the more it works!
A carriage wheel.
When is lamplighter like cowardly
soldier ?-When he fires and runs away.
"A wife full of truth and love, is the pref
tiest flower that man can wear next to his heart.
The young lady who caught a gentle
mans eye has returned it because it had a
"wee drop" in it.
Love, the toothache, smoke, cough, a
tight boot, arc things which cannot be kept
secret very long.
Beware of judging hastily; it is better
to suspend an opinion than to retract an as
sertion.
1t is said that the first parsonage who
wore hoops is lady Saturn, one of the ladies'
in-waiting upon the sun. High authority
for fashion that.
In French translation of Shakespeare,
the passage-'Frailty! thy name is woman
is translated, sMademoiselle Frailty is the
name of the lady!
-Porter's Spirit of the Times has an ac-
count of dreadful old fellew who would
rather tell lie on six months credit, than
tell the truth for cash =
"A celebrated lady once said ofa censori-
Gus neighbor, ellis mouth costs him nothing,
forhe always opens itat the expense of others.
I wish that some day he would bite his
tongue, for then he would poison himself"
ID believe the jury have been innocula-
ted with stupidity" said lawyer. "That
may be-" said his opponent, "but the bar
are Of opinion that you had it the natural
way"
Honesty is the best policy" said one
Scotchman to another, who had narrowly es,
capped hanging for robbery. 81 know ii"
said the other, "for have tried bath sides
of that question"
Cheerfully acknowledge merit in others,
and in return you will always receive the
kind consideration which you desire. When
you cannot consistently praise, by all means,
keep silent, unless there be manifest wrong
deserving censure.
oh, whistle, daughter, whistle, and you
shall have COW; I never whistled in my
life, and can't whistle now. Oh, whistle,
daughter, whistle, and you shall have man;
I never whistlcd in my life, but I'll whistle
if I can.
One of the papers says that Mr.. Brode-
rick, the scrcw inrentor, from California, has
worked himself up rapidly in the world
The writer meant to say the neV senator, but
the printers turned him into screw inven-
tor.
"When Peter was cndeavoring to walk
on the water to meet his Master, and was
about sinking, had his suppication been as
long as the introduction to some of our mod
ern prayers, before he got half through, he
uouM haze been fifty feet undcr natcr ="
In California, the negro servant Of an
army officer punished another woody. Being
asked why he did so, he said: de fact is,
massa, dat are niger was one of dem New
York free niggers. He suited me and l
had to take high Sudron ground wild him.
"A Yankee thus advertiscs his truant
wife, in rhyme: On the 18th of August,
on the nj ght of Monday, elopcd from her
husband the wife of John Grundy; his grief
for her absence each day growing deeper,
should any one find her he begs them tokeep
her.
The late DR.. Knox, or Larpct, while en-
tcrtaining one day few clerical friends to
dinner, happening, rather uncercmonlously,
to help himself to some vegetables upon the
table by using his fingers, was told by one
of his brethren that he reminded him of
Ncbuchadaezzar; when the Doctor immcdl-
ately replied, ooh, yes; that was when he
was eating with the beasts"
My wife tells the truth three times
day, remarked jocose old fellow, at the
same time castinga very mischievous glance
at her. Before rising in the morning she
says-"O dear, must get up, but l don't
want to-" After breakfast, she adds
"Well, 1 suppose I must go to work, but l
don't want to-" and she goes TO bed saying
-"There, 1 have been fussing all day, and
haven't done anything"
Warrants have been issued at East Deer
township, Aleghany county, Pa, for the ar
rest of six young ladies, charged with riding
the school master of that district on q rail.
Itappcars that the school master refused the
use of his school house for the purpose Of
holding singing schools, which gave the
young ladies great offence. So great is the
excitement that the young ladies have Sc
crctcd themselves to avoid arrest.
AS very respectable colorcd gentleman
of Boston, dealer in second hand clothing,
was passing down Brattle street to his place
of business, some evil disposed person, COM
ing up behind him, threw frozen cat and
hit him on the back. Instantly wheeling
to the right about face, the insultcd citizen
exclaimed, in a voice half choked with in
dignation: "I-I-Td glib five dollars to
any gemmen who'd point out de noxious in
diwidual what frow'd dat freezcd cat at me. !"
The philosophy of travellers has been put
to the sevcrest test by detentions. One of
the most decided cases of resignation is re-
ported on a train of cars from Boston, as fol-
lows "You don't seem to mind this deten.