Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, Va. [W. Va.]) 1852-1859, 1857-11-25

| able for one of your next Sundays discourses,
[ l shall be happy to give your readers the 6ene-
/ fit of the hard-shell's experience, and let them
/ 'sgnaw the file of his reflections"
J Yours respectfully, j. RosTRUI
/ New YORK, Nov II, 1857.
! Mr. BELOVED BRRTHERIEG: am unlarnt
Hard shell Baptist preacher, of whom you've no
doubt hearn afore, and now appear here to eN-
pound the scripters and pint out the narrow
way which leads from vain world to the streets
of Jaroosalen; and my tex which Ishall choose
for the occasion is in the leds of the Bible, some
whar between the Second Chronik-ills and the
last chapter of Timothytitus; and when you
find il, you will find it in these words "And
they shall gnaw file, and flee unto the noun
tans of Hepsidam, where the lion roareth and
the ang-doodle mourneth for his tirstbor
/ Now my brethering, as have before told you,
/ | am an OnetdiCated man, and know nothln
about grammer talk and colIidge highfalutin, but
I'm plane unlarnt preacher of the Gospil, what's
! been fOreordained and called to prepare per-
yarse gencrashun for the day of wTath-ah =
'For they shall gnaw n file, and fee unto the
mountains of Hepsidam, whar the lion roareth
and the wang-doodIe mourneth for his first
born"-ah!
My beloved brethering, the tex says that they
shall gnaw file. 1t does not say they may,
Lut shall. Now, there is more than one kind of
file There's the hand-saw file, and rat tail file,
the single file, the double file, and profile; but
the kind of file spoken of here, isn't one of them
kind nayther, bekaws it's figger of speech,
and means going it alone and getting ukcred;
''for they shall gnaw file ana fee unto the
mountains of HePsidam, whar the lion roareth
and the wang-duodle nourneth for its first
born-ah!"
And now there be some here with fine close
on thar backs, brass rings on thar fingers, and
lard OIL thar har, what goes it while they're
~ of1,nT hnro hot
thar constitooshins and forty-cent whiskey lasts,
goes it blind. Thar be sisters here what, when
they gets sixteen years old, cut thar tiller-ropes
and goes it with rush. But | say, my dear
rbrethcring, take care you don't find, when Ga
briel blows his last trump, you're hands played
out, and you've got ukered-ah! 'For they
shall gnaw file, and flee unto the mountains OF
doodle Inourneth for his first born"
Now, my brethering, "they shall flee unto the
mountains of Hepsidam;" but thar's more dams
than Hepsidam. TharS Rotterdam, Had-dam,
Amsterdam, and "Dont-care.a-dam"-t last
of which, my brethering, is the worst of all,
and reminds me of sirkumstans / onst know
ed in the state of IilenOy. There was man
what built him mill on the north fork of ASer
Crick, and it was good mill and ground sight
of grain; but the man what built it was mis-
cradle sinner, and never Civ anything to the
church; and my dear brcthcring, one night
there came dreadful storm of wind and rain,
and the mountains of the great deep was broke
up, and the waters rushed down and swept the
mans mill-dam to kingdom cum, and when he
woke up he found he wasn't worth dam-ah
"For they shall gnaw file, and flee unto the
mountains of Hepsidam, whar the lion roareth
and the wang-doodle mourneth for his first
boTn-ahlf'
Now, ''whar the lion roareth and the wang
doodle mourneth for his first-Lorn"-ah This
part Of ny.text, my beSeaching brethering, is
not to be taken as it says. II don't mean the
lhowling wilderness, whar John the Hard-she
Baptist fed on locusts and wild asses, but it
means, my brethering, the city of New Y'Or-
leans, the mother of harlots and hard lots, whar
corn is wurth six bits bushel one day and
mary red the mex; whar niggcrs are as thick as
black bugs in spilled bacon ham, and gamblers,
thieves, and pickpockets goes skiting about tile
streets like weases in barn;yard; whar honest
men are scarcer than hens teeth; and whar a
strange woman once took in your beluved teach
er, and bamboozIed him out of two hundred aud
Etwccnty-seyen. dollars in the twinkling of a
sheeps-tail; but she can't do it again! Halle
lujah-ahl For they shall gnaw file, and
flee unto the mountains of HepSidam, whar the
lion rOareth and the wang-doode mourneth for
his first-born-ail u -
My brctheriug 1 am captain of that hat-boat
you see tied up thar, and have got aboard of her
flour, bacon, taters, and as good Monongahela
EwhiSkey as ever was drunk, and am mighty apt
10 get Il Dig price LOT tleIl alij OUT WLaL, my
dear brethering would it all be with If | hadn't
got religion2 Thar'S nothing like religion, my
brethering: it's better nor silver or gold GIN
cracks; and you can no more get to heaven with
ont it, than jay-bird can fly without tail-ah!
Thank the Lord! I'm an oneddicated man. my
brethering; but I've sarched the Scripters from
| Dan to Beersheba, and found Zion right side up,
and hard-shcll religion the best kind of religion
t-ah! 'Tis not like the Methodists, what specks
to get to heaven by hollerin helI-tire; nor like
the Univarsalists that get on the broad gage
and goes the hull hog-ah; nor like the Yewni-
| ted Brethering, that takes Zach other by the
slack of thar breechc< and hists themselves in;
nor like the Katherliks, that buys threw tickets
| from thar priests; but it may be likened unto
man what had to cross river-ah!-and the
ferry boat was gone; so he tucked up his brecches
and waded acrost-ah! For they shall gnaw
a file, and flee unto the mountains of Hepsidam,
whar the lion roareth and the wang-doodle
mournrtf for his first-born -
| Pass the hat Brother Flint, and let every
( Hard-shell Baptist shell out.
! THG SIoRMoNs.-rhe New York Times, an
swering the inquiry what will be the fruits of
Brigham Young's opposition to government, to-
himself and his followers? says: l. <siEls
-