Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1857-02-03
EVENING STAR.
A CAPITAL leu D,ESPRIT

| lnent feature In Harpers Magazine for Jan
nary, is outdone by the following ieu H',tpy,t
from late English paper. We give his in
| troductory communication
| REPORT OF FISHY CONVENTION ITO NJ,
| Editors Ofthe LircrpOok Mercury Gentle.
men-As the political cOmmotion in the United
\ States is over, and everything is quiet, |
| thought / would send you a Specimen Of 20.
! litcal cOmmotion which sometimes happens at
| particular places. The following is what
| picked up in my FIVE years sojourn in Cali
| fornia If you consider it sufficiently amusing,
you may insert it in your paper for the grau
| fcatiOu Of your readers.
Yours, CAL
All the marine monsters, big fish and small
| fry of the great deep, lately met in COnVsR-
uOn, to take into consideration the conduct of
the Ocean. and also Of Mankind in general
| The Whale was elected president, and, from
| his greatness, might be termed the Prince Of
| Whales.
He opened the c0HventtOR by stating that
| he did not wish to make a speech; he would
take up as little room, and be no longer than
| possible. (Cheers.)
The Shark whispered to the Sword6sh that
it was not possible for the Whale to be much
longer, for he was eighty feet now; in his
| opinion, be only wanted chance to spout,
and he considered him a regular old blower
The Whale cOntended that, notwithstani-
| ing bis genera! size, (he might add tears,) lie
was not exempt from suffering. He had been
| grossly insulted by man-he would say lam
| pOOned-not that he would pun upon the use
made Of his fat, as he did rot wish to make
| light Of such a matter lie had been har-
pOOned at least Men were sarcastic towards
him, and his shafts were sharp and pointed.
Some Of his fellow whales had been very much
| cut up and exceedingly triei. He had lately
learned that a substitute for oil had been IL
vented, which might lessen the persecution OF
| whales, but he feared it was all gas. The
Whale alluded to harpoon which had lately
hit hint had u ade a great impression on
| him, and he feared had affected him deeply
| Great sensation.) Here his feelings over
powered him, and he sat down ton the shark
amid general blubber.
The Shark rose with some difficulty, and re
marked that the tail of the Whale had moved
him; in fat it was striking. His own situa-
| ton was far from pleasant. He was, by pro-
fesst0n, a lawyer, and, he battered himself,
one of the deep kind. Cheers and laughter
But business was bad. and he had been com
pelled to take in few pupils He had lately
presented fine opening for young man who
fell OUerbOayd, but was sOol after obliged to
reject his suit as indigestible. Unless he had
more cases he should leave the law, and open
as dentist, as he was well acquainted with
the art of setting teeth He held up one fn
as signal That he had hnlshed
The Sea Serpent did not wish to intrude
upon the convention, as be did not know
whether he properly belonged to the FISH tribe;
ho did not wish to appear CGfctOUS. All he
| asked was to be classified with Eel, whom ne
considered a Iyypsry character Here the
Eel was observed to wrigsls. Lately be was
passing certain species of the Eel, when he
just happened TO touch him; he had been So
shocked that he had hardly recovered
-
trifed at these remarks; it was evident that
the Serpent was more than half seas over, and, g,
if he was not careful, would get into a regular
coil. As to his being slippery character
he thanked Neptune he did not belong 10 such
a Sc1iV SET as the Serpent.
The Whale called the Eel TO order, and the
| Ee! called the Whale a confounded old swell
head, and was then summarily put cut of the
convention.
The Turtle was suffering from a slight indis-
position lie walked ashore a short time since,
| when he met party of jolly young sailors
The result was that he was laid fat on his
back, and was unable to move for some time,
and since lie had not felt as lively as usual.
There was one thing TO which he would call
| the attention Of the convention He prided
himself upon the purity Of his political princi-
pies he was the alderman best friend. The
Shark mad lately insulted him by calling nim
regular old bard shell. Here the Shark
| interrupted him by asking if that was not his
| case The Turtle replied that be should say
nothing more a. present, but should have
| something to kay before the next meeting
The Shark icontemptuouslyl- 10 Jct"
eggs, probably.
The Porpoise did not exactly understand the
purpose Of the convention. nor whether all the
mcmhers were present. lie proposed that the
Secretary call the roll.
The " hale called him TO order, and was
sorry to see him reeling about in that disgrace
ful condition. His motion was quite out Of
order, and be appeared 10 be attempting to
get up a revolution
Tho POrpoiSo assured the convention that
his movements proceeded entirely frOn the
motion of the waves, but still he should waive
his motion He then took Il back seat, enid
cries of "IOH'Te hotosr' >"
The President remarked that he should be
happy to hear from some of the small fry, the
oysters, Holsters, and Others-who, if not the
. bone and sinew" Of the tribe, were at least
| the muscles The Oyster proceeded to open
his case, which was a hard one. lie was con-
tinually in trouble, and always in some stew
or broil. lie had family troubles, also; his
half brother, the Clam, was disgrace TO the
family, always in liquor, and generally con-
sidered squirt " Some of mis- family were
very lazy, and spent most of their time in
bedS. There had also been some rakes among
them, creating great disturbance. He was
most respectable himself; his father was
quite distinguished, and his maternal ancestor
was Mother Of Pearl. He went in for his
own rights and did not care whether the rest
got theirs or not.
The Jewish remarked-Dat was very selfish.
The Oyster continued-There was one of his
neigh hboIs--he would not call any nGmes-whO
were very surly ard grabbed; that he was
one sided individual, and no one approved Of
his motions
The Crab protested against this abuse, and
said that the rest took advantage Of him be-
cause he was Il " soft" lie respectfully re-
tired acAUaTdS.
Here the Goldfish entered and apclOgized for
his Iateness. as he had been visiting school
He thought the whale was badly of, since
men took his oil to make lights Of. His own
case was the reverse of this they took his
Iights-and liver, for that matter-to make oil
of. This might be very good for consumption,
but it Was cOnfounded bad for him The most
alarming kind he had ever heard Of was the
consumption Of Goldfish. 1t might be very
good fun for men to cut him open and salt