Raftsman's journal. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1854-1948, 1857-07-08
sUT LOvENGOOD's SHIRT.


sual rambling, uncertain gait. His appearance
at once satisfied me that something was wrong.
He had been sick, whipped in a free fight, or
was just out growing one of his big drunks.-
But upon thispont was soon enlightened.
"Why, Sut, what's wrong now 20
ssHeaps wrong; durn my skin eff hain't
most dead. Lite off on that ar hoss, George.
an take horn while L take two, Shaking that
everlasting flask of his at me.) an plant yer
self on that ar log, an I'll tell we eff 1 ken,
but it's most beyont telin'. 1 reckon I'm the
darndest fool out en- Utaw, 'cept my da5, for
he acted hoss, an haint dun that yet-allers
in sum trap that cudent koch sheep. I'll
drown myself sum day, see eff l don't, jest to
stop family disposition to max id fools on
themselves.''
elbow is it, Sut, have you been beat playing
cards, or drinking, which is it '''
ssNara one; that can't be did in these parts;
but seein' it's you, George, I'll tell you; but
1 swar Pm Misunderstanding, and-and-
mad, am.
ssYou know 1 boards with Bill Carr, at his
. cabin on the mountain, an pays fur sich es
gets when hev money, an when I hevent
eny, why he takes one-third owe it outen me
in cussin'; an she, that's his wife Belts, takes
out t'other two thirds with the battlin' stick,
and the intrust with her tung, an the intrusts
more n the principal 'l-heap more. She's the
cussedest 'Oman | ever seed eny how fur jaw,
and pride. She can scold blister onto
bulls face rite on the curl in two mnitS.. She
pattrens arter ev'ry fashun she hears tell on,
to hric hos nf
'em, and sometimes she's two three. Well,
We see, I'd got sum home made cotton truck
to make new shirt Outen, and coaxed Belts
tn make it, and about the time it wur dun,
here comes Lawyer johnson along an axed for
breakfus-I wish it had pizened him, durn his
hied, an wonder it didn't, fur she cooks aw-
ful mixens when she trys. I'm pizen proof,
myself, (holding up his flask and peeping
| through it, ur I'd been ded long ago.
ssWelI, while he wur a eatin', she spied out
that his shirt was stiff an nifty slick; so she
never rested till she worm d it outen him that
a preparation NV -four did it, an she got few
perticulers about the perceedins tu, outen him
| by 'oman's art don't know how she did it,
perhaps he does. Arter he left, she sot in an
billed big pot Nv paste, high on tn peck NV
| it, an souzed in my shirt an let it soak a
while then she tuck it an ironed it out fiat
an dry, an sot it up on its aidge agin the cab
| in in the sun. Thar it stood as stiff as dry
hoss hide, an it ratified like sheet Nv iron, it
| did. 1t wur pasted tugether all over. When
| cum tn dinner, nuthin' wud do but / must
| put it on. Well Belts an me got the thing
open arter sum hard work, she pullin' at one
| a. r,xf1
Durn the everlastin' new tangled shirt, 1 say.
felt like I'd crawled inter am old bee gum
| iI'd full NV pis-ants; but it wnr like Lawyer
| Johnson's, an stud it like man, an went tn
work tn build Belts a ash-hopper. / worked
powerful hard an swet like hoss, an when
the shirt got wet it quit its hurtin'. Arter
got dun, tuck about four fingers NV red head,
am crawled up into the cabin loft tu take a
| snuse.
ssWell, when walked up tho't was ded,
or had the cholery, for all the jints l cud muve
were my ankles, wrists and knees-cudn't even
muve my head an skasely wink my eyes-the
cussed shirt wur pasted fast onto me all over,
from the pint Nv the tails tn the pint NV the
broad-ax collars over my ears. 1t sot me as
| close as a poor cow dus her hide in March.
squirm'd an strain'd till i got it sorter broke
at the shoulders and elbows, an then l dun
the durndest fool thing ever did in these
mountains. 1 shuffied my britches off an tore
lose frum my hide about two inches Nv the tail
all round in much pain and trIbulation. Oh !
but it did hurt. Then tuck up plank outen
the loft and hung my legs down thru the hole
and nailed the aidge NV the frunt tail to the
aidge Nv the floor before, an the hind tail /
nailed tu the plank what set on. onbut-
toned the collar and ristbands, raised my hands
way up abuv my head, shut up my eyes, said
grace, an jumpt thru to the groun' floor.
Here Sut rumnated sadly.
eGeorge, Pm durnder fool than ever dad
wus, Hess, Hornets and all. I'll drown'd my
self sum NV these days, see eff don't"
"WeIl, 60 on, Sut, did this shirt come off %
~I-t-h-i-n-k-i-t--d-i hearn a noise
sorter like tarin' shingle roof off house,
all at onst, an felt like my bones wur all that
reached the floor. 1 staggered tn my feet AN
tuck locke up at the shirt. The nails hao
all hilt thar holt, an thar it wur hangin' arms
down, inside out, an as stiff as ever. 1t iooA
like map w Mexico jist arter one Nv INC
y wurst battles-a patch of my hide ABOUT tle
s;za nv n dollar am half bill here; bunch
ocv bor obout the size NV birds nest thar |;
>, an spm more skin then sum paste; then a
little more har; then heap Nv skin; then
: more har then skin; an so on all over that
durn,d new tangled, everlastin', Internal cuss
of a shirt. 1t wur pictur to look at-an' so
wur I. The'hide, har, an paste wur about e.