The Council Bluffs nonpareil. [volume] (Council Bluffs [Iowa]) 1857-1867, 1857-08-15
SMITH JONES.
THE WOMAN THAT WANTED JUST TO
PEEP INTO THAT PRIVATE CLOSET.


The Lodge of 1. y. q. +. at Woods, deter
mined to have their Lodge room done up
clean and nice, and it was resolved unani-
mously that Mrs. X. should be employed to
do the job. ..' -"
After the meeting adjourned, the guardi-
an, who knew the lnquisitive character Of
Mrs. h, procured a billy goat, and placed
him in closet that was kept as reservoir
for the secret things. He then informed
the lady of the wishes of the lodge, and re-
quested her to come early next morning, as
then he would be at leisure to show her
what was and what was not to be done.-
Morning came and with it Madame X. with
her broom, brushes, pals, tubs, &C., pre-
pared and armed for the job, and found the
guardian waiting for her. -.
Now, Madame" said he, "Pll tell you
what we want done, and how we came to
employ you. The brothers said it was diff
cult to get anybody to do the job, and not
be meddling with the secrets in that little
closet; we have lost the key, and cannot
find it to lock the door; assured them that
you could be depended on.' s.s~... r....... ~.
''Depended on" said she, 81 guess l
can" 80 ... ........- H.. a...
"My poor dead and gone husband, who
belonged to the Free Masons or Anti Ma
son, one or the other; used to tell me all the
secrets of the concern, and when he showed
me all the marks the gridiron made when
he was initiated, and told me how they fixed
poor Morgan, l never told a living soul to
this day. Ii nobody troubles your secrets
till do, they'll lay there till they rot-thsy
wili.'' 4. .-. s..-e., ... ...... .....+... F.
81 thought so,'' said the guardian, sand
now want you to commence in that corner
and give the whole room decent cleaning,
and have pledged my word and honor for
the fidelity of your promise; now don't 60
into the closet" and then left the lady to
herself.
No sooner had she heard the sound Of his
foot upon she last step cf the stairs than
she exclaimed-S'Don'tg 60 into that closet
Fll warrant there's a gridiron, or some
nonsense, just like the Anti Masons for all
the world, I'll be bound. Twill just take a
peep, nobody will be the wiser, Us | can
keep it to myself"
Suiting the action to the word, she step
ped lightly to the forbidden closed, turned
the button, which was no sooner done, than
bah Wen. ..the billy goat, with spring to
ting her ladyship. Both started for the
door, Bht it was filed with implements for
house cleaning, and all were swept to the
bottom of the stairs.
The noise and confusion occasioned by
such unceremonious coming down stairs,
drew half the town to witness Mrs. k.'s ef-
forts to get from under the pile of rubbish
into the street. a1t.9
Who should be the first on tho spot but
the rascally door keeper, who, after releas-
ing the goat, which was crippled for life,a
uplifting the rubbish that bound the good
woman to the earth, anxiously inquired il
she had taken the degrees.
"Taking the degrees I" exclaimed the la.
dy, 'sif you call tumbling from the top to
the bottom of the stairs, with the devil af.
ter you taking the degrees, Ihave them, and
if you frighten folks as you have me, and
hurt them to boot, I'll warrant they'll make
as much noise as did,"
81 hope you did not open the closet, Mad
ame." said the door keeper, sssag 56 syts
''Open the closet? Eve ate the apple she
was forbidden! If you want a woman to
do anything tell her not to do it, and she'll
do it certain. could not stand the tempt
alton. The secret was there; wanted to
know 1t. Iopened the door and out pop.
ped the tarnal critter right into my face.
thought that the devil had me, and broke
for the stairs, with the devil butting me at
every jump fell over the tub and got
down the stairs, as you found Us, all in
heap!''
.sBut, madame," said the doorkeeper
"you are in possession Of the great secre'