The Union and eastern journal. [volume] (Biddeford [Me.]) 1854-1858, 1857-02-06
FRIDAY, FEBRUARY g. 1857.

" y -
left mo alone with my own dead body-tl
cool breeses sweeping OYER my silsnt fran
tho sun. in it, garish brightness, pcepir
in and mocking At my sorrow. l remembs
too,a dove outside my window, whose nourl
fol note seemed to goad me to Madness
They would dhrive it away, but II soon n
turned and sang to me in ib melanchol
strain that live-long day. And now mui
think how must stare the evil in the fac
I must look beyond the grave, to which
would soon DO taken. l do not remembt
that had one hope Of being saved from, IN
living death. There seemed to be such
fixed immovableness about my body that
could not realize motion, and I half believe
myselfdead. The recollection Of my moth
er's agonized cry OF " Oh, had he but bee
child Of God ~ filed mo with horror, an
the idea Of IN entrance INTO the eterna
world without preparation camo over IN
with all its dreadful reality. Ny Who'll
life passed in review before me. Alas, wha
scene of black rebellion !! In vain did
search for one act with which I might hop
to appeasc the great God. They alone aet
from me, and seemed forced to view my
sins, which now, for the first time, STRUCK
me with their cnomity. I hated myself
1t seemed just in God to punish me thu,
severely. All his kind, watchful care came
to me in new light. Why had ncve,
seen 1t before-and now to latof How
could I hope for pardon for lifetime of sim
Oh no; I must despair-I could not meri,
heaven-I could never do anything to shev
my love and gratitude; and then, in con-
nection with these thoughts cAme my moth
er's teachings, my prayer lisped at her knee
and l repeated sour Father" with sort
of tremulous earnestness had never known
before. But still I despaired; seemed
the blackest thing alive, and then under
stood how devils would acknowledge th'
justice of God In their condemnation.
As these and multitude Of other thought
passed through my mind, I heard the doc
open, and my mother stood beside me-
heard her subdued moan Of agony; agali
tho soft hand smoothed my brow, and sh
said:
"My boy ?my poor Willie can 1t be
Oh! my God, thor alone can'st comfort IN
under this most g'icvous chastisement. Oh
let me not murmur let me but SEQ the ent
to bs worked out. Oh, IL he had but giyeI
me one word to show that ho rested in ,
Saviour, trusted in him, I could have CIV
en- him up at thy call without one selisl
feeling; but now-oh, no hope! no hope
my child my child" and shrieking fortl
her anguish, they tore her from me.
Dear mother, when did you ever CONE
near me without imparting comfort2 Ever
now she spoke Of q Saviour, upon whom
might trust. even sinful rs was. and
prayed earnestly to be led in the right path
I had never before prayed from my heart
but now it seemed out.
Again was interrupted by the opening
of the door, and felt my length and m.
breadth measured, with the remark, in ,
strange voice, that he was Q stout corp
to be sure. What could ha' been the mat
ter with the poor gentleman to ha' took
him of 50 suddinty' ending with an in
quiry as to whom the property would 60 Il
now.
To the young lady, specs, said James
F" she 10 jest like old masters daughter"
suppese," said the stranger, "the!
wants satin lining, silver plate-everythin
done up in the fust style?"
"Never mind e1pences." said James
everything must be done in the most gen
teclcst style"
Imagine il you can, dear reader, what IN.
feelings must have been at hearing mysel
discussed in this way. The mention Of th
young lady brought Lily before me. Sh
alone had stood alooffrom the body Of he
old friend: she did not care enough for he
former playmate to induce her to look on up
him once again. pictured her to myselfa
the fond wife-I thought of her husband re
joicing Mt my death, because by it Lii.
would come to him richly endowed bride
These thoughts brought fresh griei, an
| tried to Danish them. knew that ha'
given her tho idolatry of my heart, whic
ought to have been given to my God.
Through that long day many camc t
look upon me. Ny poor father spent man
hours beside mo mourning over the death c
his brightest hopes. At last | felt Il gre,
darker-I knew that tho sun was goin
down. i must pass another long nigh
darkness around and within mo I remen
Dor that was trying to pray for submssio
and support, when felt the sheet lifted frol
my face, and then heard the broken.hear
ed wall which had so chained my attentio
in the morning.
My feelings thrSbbcd with pleasure =
was Lily! She had come alone, and such
sound could only come from loving, broal
ing heart.
"Oh Willie! dear Willie! IL you coul
but speak to me-but tell me that you di,
loving, forsiving me; (; If you could but he.
me now telling how l loved you as en-
never love any one elsc-how from my vel
heart have longed for your return. II
only had some one to talk to; but no on
loves me now. Dear mamma even shuddc
when l come near her. and papa does nj
notice me. Imust weep alone. Oh, ! a
30 desola.e, 80 lonely and n,iserable!"