American union. [volume] (Morgantown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1855-1859, 1857-03-28
Matrimonial Advertise lnent.
From Por,er's Spi,i,.]

tftTtI-A .'''
A lady, who had no idea of looking
for husband, but with large proclivi.
ties for mischief and for fun, put a
matrimonial advertisement in the N. Y.
Herald, with directions for answers to
be sent to q certain signature at tho
Broadway Post Office. AS the adver-
tisement appealed to the practical APP
plications, by assuming nice little for
tune, in addition to an agreeable per-
son, the seed Qfsuch temptation, could
not we'll fall idly upon such fertile,
bottom as is offered by the city of New
York. On the first day that succeeded
the advertisement, the lady received
seventeen replies; on the second day
thirty-two, and on the third, seventy
two-an extent, an ardor of apprecia-
ton, for her vaguely described person
al attractions, which even she was not
prepared to expect.
Bewildered by the warm volume of
alteration and entreaty which issued
from this hymenial magazine, the lady
called to her aid five ladies as mischc-
vous as herself. One pair of the hands
and one mind were of course, quite un-
equal to the task of answering all; SO
the batch of billetdoux was divided G.
qually among them, and each was to
make an appointment with the writer's
on the following Saturday afternoon,
at 4 o'clock, on the lower side of the
upstairs saloons of certain popular
restaurant in Broadway. Each of the
ladies, moreover, who took the task in
charge, chose a different colorcd paper
for replies. Finally it was agreed that
the whole six should be present at the
Interview, and that each should wear
the exact costume prescribed for the in
amorata whom the signing swains wo'd
be there to see. On the other hand.
the gentlemen were directed to appear
in all the varieties of attire and posi-
tlon, which female ingenuity and mis-.
chiefcould devise. One was requested
to wear a blue coat and bright brass
buttons; another to have his hair part
ed in the middle; one was to be eating
plate of pork and beans, which, said
the ingenious writer who dictated it,
"you can scarcely expect will be called
for by any body else" Others were
to be partaking of various dishes, or to
place themselves in such attitudes and
postures as were directed by the wri-
ter.
At4 o'clock on tho prescribed Satur
day afternoon, every chair at every
table on the lower side of the upstairs
saloon, was filled with sleek looking,
highly perfumcd Leanders, all gazing
into each others faces, and each secret.
ly cursing the luck which wcdged him
SO closely out of the killing positions
and display, which he had been medi-
tating ever since he got his note. And
how the dishes smoked, and the won
dering walters flew! Even the per-
picked landlord, amazed at this mirac.
ulous flow of business, was obliged to
drop his own mutton chop, and call out
the entire force of his establishment.
to meet the clamors if not threatening
demands of gentlemen who feared they
might not get their telegraphing plate
of duck or mess of pork and, beans in
time.
AT length tho clash Of sheen and
kick Of stiff skirts was hoard coming
up the stairs one minute after four and
an inamorato appeared, dressed in dark
green, with deep fur~capc, and abund.
ant dropping" lace. She was wafcrcd
on the back of the head with an infin.
iteismal bonnet, and carried in her hand
the magic drift of cambric, whose
Shakesperian strawberries intinated
that she was she. When she appeared
the sensation was universal; the gen
tleman with the buff vest threw opcn
his coat to the extreme; the gentleman
in the "blue" and the bright buttons,
buttoned his coat entirely to the chin:
the gentleman who was to lean back.
wards frequently, commenced tiltipr
Ikea Chinese mandarin; the gentleman
with the pork and beans became vocif.
orous for more beans, while those
who had duck, &c. were equally clam.
erous in complaining of the undue full. |
tilment of their orders.
Never was there such clamor heard
in that usually well regulated upstairs
saloon boforc-~and by the by, never
did it subsldemorc suddenly tlian when
n new brush Of skirts was heard coming
up the stairs. All the Iotharios were
once moro IN position, when 10, onoth.