Keowee courier. [volume] (Pickens Court House, S.C.) 1849-current, 1857-07-04
A Rare Epistle.
Turkey BUzzARD HoLLER, SKuSK !
TOWNSHIP, Polecat Co. Ind

to tell you nowis secret, and you mustn't
whisper nary word about il to nobody. /
have bin irwin harder an' han der every day
to keep i; from gittip' out, till like to bus
ted, but it was no go, and thot / would
make clean brest Of ii, in confidenshul
way, 10 YOU.
Mr.. Editor, hate old maids. / never
| could see what they wur made fur. don't
like 'em no way you can do EN- up. |
was always back ard, bashful, unassum.
in kind of fellcr, and thot would keep
bachelor S hill by myself you know -
Well, on last Wednesday went to my
room o change my linen, Il believe that's
the namc) ! always change on Wedrcs.
days, cos only got two shcrts, an one of
EN- gifts dirty gin then. didn't think bout
lockin the door, for who in thunder's got
any right TO cum into feller's room 'thout
askin', I'd like to know? Well, there's an.
otherthing hate teabominably,'mosl badasold
maids, an that's these benevolent societies
them kind rs goes round an begs mummy,
goin into peoples houses 'thout askin', an.
sich things. Well, as was goin' TO say,
I'd got bout half dun changin', that is,
had got thru with the .akin, off part, and
not commenced the putin on part, when
sang ker-dab sumIhin tux my dore. Thun,
deration and tumble bugs, but was mad |
liked to jump clean out'n my hide. /
didn't no more know what | was doin' than
turtle knows bout polytcks. Thinks
to myself | won't say nuthin this time but
| KEEP mighty ookin round for nv sher,
but dcrn the shert was there That Gus
sed washwoman didn't bring it as she or
ter, and never liked TO put on shert after
I'd pulled it off onct, when rattle ker. bang
went my dore agin loud enuf TO he heerd
in South 'Meriky. "Whos thar 2" seq |.
"lrsus, Mr.. Peppermint" sez,hey. "Who
in thnnder's us 2" scz !. "Why, Miss
Primp, and Miss Flint, and Miss ---"
sumbody clse--jcst about thousand Of
EN-. That's my luck, allays; was born
in the dark o The moon, and allays was the
onluckiest feller that ever was manyfactcr.
ed. Jest hold on bit, ] amt prepared
to receive cumpenny jest now" seq |. But
it was no use; come in they would. They
sed they didn't expect feller TO be dressed
up in his uthor klose on week days, and scd
they'd cum in anyhow. "'rhe dignation
you will well, you do. it'e my opinion
you'llse sites" thinks [, and | connivered
round like a fox with Ills tail 10 trap (and
felt ding site wus,) huntin sum,hing to
kiver myself WITH and in about q minnit an
half found what that blasted washwo.
man tuck 10 be my shert, but il wasn't il.
| tuck it by one end and held it up, and III
be dod rot IT it wasn't woman's night.
gown. She made mistake and give me
that thing for my shcrt--a shert ms didn't
have single hole in it---'thout letun me
know, too. So puts the thing onto me
quicker'n lightning, an the dcrndest fit YOU
ever seen was there; il cum down TO my
kneus, and had ruflles and what, we call.
ems on he sleeves. and whole passle of
chicken fixins all over it. and bout the
time got it on good, and was turnin round
to see how it fit, they cum Dustin in, bout
dozen on EN- an every one screened as
| If they were surprised, as they put their
heds in the dore, till you could a heerd EN-
at least two rod off. But they didn't 90
back, not they, but stood there, ealin' their
eyes like toad in q meal barrel. When
they all got in they commenced like pas
sic o ducks n mill pond, goblin and
kack'in' till didn't know if it were me or
not that was among 'cm in there AT last
one of 'em told me that they was a commit
ty appointed by the Universal Benevolent
Society, TO collect mummy 10 clothe the poor
people with. an sed they didn't van: 10
site me, as they wanted 10 know how much
I'd give. 1 told 'em that charity begins at
home, and if they'd get me shirt I'd talk
to 'em. They sed they thought that gar.
nient becum me nifty well. That made me
madder'n ever. to think they'd flancr me
that way; So told 'em / wouldn't give
nary red, but f,hey wanted it they mite
have That Internal Old garment" as they
called it, TO clotbe the poor with. She told
me MOTTO rob myself, as che went out OF the
dore
She hadn't got very fur, when slam
med that dore bout MS hard as twas in the
habit O. bein slammed then | didn't,move
an inch for more'n mint, but stood stock
still, like Balaam's Jack, afecrd to move cos
mite see sumlhin. sot down 10 think
over tile matter a bit. ! was all in a lrem.
be, shabin' as if ! bad the agnr, an
swettin worse'n muley bull in fly tin,e.-
| didn't say much, but thunk nifty loud,
| | tel! you, an cum 10 the conclusion that
if j ever found out wbar an when then, vim
min changed their fiyins, that I'd be there
on handifpossible, Ding il 10 dugnashun!
| fairly dance and turn summersets when /
think oft.
| Now don't want you TO be telln peo.
pie bout this, or putin il into tIe Notions,
where everybody'Il find it ONT, for if you
meen TO tell it, jest consider it as not sed
Perhaps youllhear from me agin, and until