The weekly Ottumwa courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1857-1872, 1857-11-05
For the Courier.

There was satirical Communication against
our City published in the ssEeddypilie CONNER
cial" some two or three weeks since, under the
head Of ga Fine Town." At first we thought
of treating the knave (who wrote over the
signature of "Hawk- Eye Farmer,') with ST.
lent contempt, but upon mature deliberation,
we determined to "ferret him out and tar and
feather him, and ride him on rail-" Our CT
tizens, therefore assembled in caucus, and
delegated Governor s. and other emf
nent gentlemen, as a committee, to wait upon
the Editor Of the "Commercial," IN order to
ascertain the real name of the author, but he
was incognitc to any name other than the fic-
titious signature annexed to that most bastard
lv scribble. Yet we admit few truths that
he ironically spoke of our City,-that it is the
"best railroad depot,o as well as the ssmost
fourishing City in the West,' any one with
half an eye must admit. As it is settled fact
that the B. & M. r. Railroad, (the great pa
cihc trunk,) and ths st. Louis & Fl. Des-
moines roads both cross here, together with
| numerous arms from other important roads,
which makes this an enviable point indeed, and
in consequence of our peculiar location, we
thought OF advising our Ottumwa friends to
''move up their town." it would make a re-
spectacle addition to "SIabtown,' and both
places be mutually benefited thereby. 1t is
true that we lament the ''fallen greatness Of
Eddyville, and have one of the rocks of their
ancient bridge in our City, as a "memorial,
OF that antique structure, and we talk of NOV
ing the remaining ruins of that once great
place, down to "Slabtown City," and hitching
it on for Kitchen" OR spacious pew Church
is large enough to accommodate all the com !.
municants from those proposed additions, and
we only ''sell pews for sos each.o Our athread
and needle shops, four feet square,o are the
heaviest mercantile houses in the West. Our
"pettifoggeT" is a first class lawyer, and the
best jurist on this side of "Skunk.o Our
quacks are graduated physicians, and who
burst dispute their title to M. d. cards, and
Ssheep skin" diplomas? To say that either of
them graduated IN obstetrics under the broom.
stick of an old woman would be simply abb
surd, and to cali their practice in question
would be ridiculous, after the astounding cures
OF relapsed mumps, abScesses &c., that have
been performed in this community.
As to our not wanting ssOttumwains to die
tate for us In the selection OF candidates for
ofhce," we must admit that we were "oppos-
ed to candidates in Ottumwa,o from the fact
that they (the Ottumwains, were operating
against the best interests of s'Slabtown.n One
or our citizens, positively declares, that he
will never attend another convention in Ottum-
wa, because they did not as much as use his
name,-was this not an insult to common sense
and an outrage upon justice. And B.,
who made second flaming speech in the
Court house, "reastonished the natives,o
'roused the smoldering ruins of Mount Yer
nom" and caused Jefferson's ashes to groan in
consequence of 'woollyism'' and "dsunionn
ought to have been nominated for Lieutenant
Governor at least! We must complain of NAL
treatment from our Ottuinwa friends, and we
have the tar, and the feathers engaged, to
make coat for the wag who had the impu-
dence to add insult to injury, and here goes
for the capacious stomached old fire eater who
was morally wounded and defeated on the
battlefield of the late campaign.
SrAprnwNrp