Cooper's Clarksburg register. [volume] (Clarksburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1851-1861, 1857-11-20

When printer runs his eye over his
ledger and sees nothing set down to their
credit, tits not surprising that he is ready
business in the world. And when he gets
word from Postmaster that Groggs has
run off and lett nothing wherewith to pay
for his paper-from another that Scroggs
can neither be coaxed nor compelled 10
pay for his, and from another that Mugs
has died and made no sign whereby it
can be inferred that he remembered the
printer is his last moments-then is the
poor printer almost ready to set fire to
his establishment and run away By the
light.
1t is truly vexatious to have ones hard
earned money scattered over large ex-
tent Of country, and to be enabled 10 get
it in ''driblcts" only by the slowest oi
slow degrees. But after all. there is some
advantage, particularly in slippery times
like thesc--ln having thousand men
owe you five dollars apiece. rather than
have one man owe you Eve thousand.
Suppose the three thousand dollars due
US by our delinquent subscribers had been
owing to US by the Ohio Life and Trust
Company. where would it be ? Non eSt
imuentuS. non cometaiOle. in ssgan,porum up
Il stWmpi6uS. as the Constable endorsed
on the back Of States warrant when he
returns from an unsuccessful chase after
a rogue who took refuge in swamp.
Delinquent subscribers, we are your
debtors decidedly! II you nil had paid
US. We might perhaps havenves:ed it in
Michigan Southern Railroad stock or
shares Of the Ohio Life and Trust, which
has suddenly changed to Death and Dis.
trust. 4Ou have saved us a world OF
trouble, no doubt, and we are thankful
for it.
However. it is not fair to ask you to
take care OF our money always. You have
taken excellent care Of it So far, for which
we render you due credit hut if you are
willing, we will undertake the custody Of
It ourselves. We don't suspect your
soundness at all. We have no fear YOU
are going to ''6mst." like the big fellows
in the cities. for nobody ever heard OF a
thousand delinquent subscribers ever
" 6urSting." But We can make use of
some money just now. and il our good
friends. the delinquents, haven't suspend
ed like some OF the Banks. lhey will do US
the favor to send in thousand or two
before long. Whenever we get enough
we will give them notice to stop sending.
Eg A certain man whom we will call
M-w"s noted for possessing great cour-
age and presence Of mind. and the cross>
est wife in the neighburhood.
More than one attempt had been made
to frighten M. without success; but
one stormy evening. one of his brother
chips resolved to see ifthere was any scare
in him. and fixed himself up in the most
ghostly style possible. stationed himself
in lonely piece Of woods. through which
M-had to pass on his way home.
The pretended ghost had scarcely set
tied himself in his position. when M
hove in sight, and came whistling along,
unconcerned as usual. Suddenly the
ghostely figure confronted him.. and in a
sepulchral voice commanded him TO stop.
M---did so, and after regarding his
companion for moment, said with utmost
GOODNESS. 81 can't stop friend; if you are
a man, 1 must request you to get out OF
the way and let me pass; il you are the
devil. come along and take supper with
me- married your sister,"
wNo such word as fail.