davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1857-01-31
Fashionable Destination.

The New York Herald, remaEking on
the gayety and fast living of The cu-
zens Of the commercial metropolis, says :
After the holidays comes the saturnaIia
of the fashionable world, which goes up
TO Lent. The great prosperity Of the
country and The comparative ease with
which sharp business men obtain wealth
or the show of wealth, which is just as
good as long as il Iasts-has lis natural
effect upon the women. who are more
extravagant than ever. CrinoIine ex-
pands aud extends lis borders until two
ladies fill up the width of drawing
room, and robes are heightened until the
pare is daily swept with the richest and
suIAest MORE antique. In the gay world
jewelry has gradually been going out for
three or four seasons, but the money once
invested in diamonds is now expended in
dress goods, which are growing more
rich, more elaborate and more expensive
every year. Your fashionable lady's
mental powers are constantly taxed 10 the
utmost 10 know what she shall wear,
while her husbands business capabilities
find full scope in his efforts 10 raise the
money TO crafty her extravaganza. Her
ambition is to oul-do some one else-t0
wear dress or set Of laces which cost
great deal more money than those Of
her dearest friend. who is thrown into
cOnvulsions of envy when the figure is
mentioned, and TO give party which so
crowds her house thai everybody is con-
tinuaIly treading on everybody else's
toes.
After speaking at some length on the
extravagant style of dress, parties, and va
rious private amusements, the Herald
says !:
Gambling has become fashionable
vice, and has extended TO the ladies. In
all the clubs, play though forbidden by
rule, runs high and we have heard of
one where the srislocraiic amusement Of
poker being tabooed, the amateurs al
that athletic exercise meet in a secret
place detached from The main establish
ment. There are, It is said, very exrln-
sive gambling places where women play
at the French games which have ruined
some OF the richest ladies 10 Paris. Not.
withstanding all the efforts to suppress
gambling in this metropolis, il increases
privately and publicly and this fact Is
the only answer that can be made io the
often repeated inqpiry as 10 where does
all the money 60 10. Il goes over the
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1857-01-31

Blow AT THE HooPs.-A few days
since, as a RoXbury friend, al the close oI
his labors Of The day, was enjoying a
comfortable ride home from his office 10
the city, in an omnibus partly filled with
ladies, gentleman upon the sidewalk
sgnaed The driver TO stop, and throwing
open the door, sprang into the vehIrlr.
HIS first step towards seat, unfortunately
Influenced somewhat by The sudden mo-
tion of lhe coach. brought his rIghi foot rs
contact with lady's dress, and as, wlih
hasty expression, he slrove TO exIrcsie
il from the embrace Of the hoop, he was
suddenly plunged forward, and IN twink
link found his left foot 10 the same unior.
innate connection with hoop on the "li-
er side. This was more than our hero
bargained for. For moment he seemed
fairly non. .plussed. Good heavens, adj
am" said he. and then nervOusly pnIiIng
the strap. he cried, "srop, driver stop
stop stop though | was getting into
an omnibus bu ! Gnd Us cooper'S
shop. = Boston Portfolio.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1857-01-31
1nrne A0uersino Grratur AoraE agriculture arts on0 5nc ~
VI v

it, keep ii clean and warm, and cultivate
every toe and Joint, and make ii an ele-
CANT and reliable carriage for the body
If you pu, it into bonds and imprisonment,
expect an ugly and troublesome enemy
impressed foot is one Of the most W.
full of botheralions. Pray you, avoid II
Oh madam tell you il is thorough
ry outrageous | was speaking TO you,
Lady Veronica Perfect! Well, sir, pray
ochat is "lhoroughly outrageous ?" Your
dress my lady And pray, sir, what is
my dress to you ? An abominanon, mad
am. And your Scalpel, TO me, is an i'm
pertinent bore. shall dress as IpteasG,
sir. | wish you would madam. Al pres
ent you dress to please that vulgar mob OF
fools called "IHe Fashion," You who
have such good taste and cultivated under
standing, 10 put yourself in the shape of
parachute, and be hooped up like hogs
head of sugar. with tackIing enough about
you for packet ship, You ought 10 be
ashamed of it With a shell on your
head and dry goods store about your
heels. Are not you a foolish woman to
make yourself slave TO the dry goods
seller and dressmaker You'll fill the
Crystal Palace alone, soon 4! Why, you'd
positively have to undress in the entry, if
YOU came to see Us, for You couldn't get
into the doorway % an ordinary parIor As
YOU are. What will become OF you al the
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1857-01-31
Yegetable Love Letter.

Most Transcendanl Charming Sir:
| would that my pen were plucked from
the wing of an Angel, and dipped in the
dyes OF the rainbow, mended by the
prayers of an infant Saint, that mlghl
expect 10 paint the burning brightness OF
that name which Thy thrilling eloquence
has enkindIed. Thy soft moonlight SEN
limen,s, soap of consistency thy airs as
gentle as the first strings of an infant :
dreams. Thy steps are as slight as In"
tender footed zephyrs that played with tie
gable end of Paradise, thine eyes ale 6rI-
Ilants stolen from seraphs. Thy lips are
velned rosebuds, mIsied by the honey
dew of affection. Thy teeth are snow
flakes set in bed Of vcrbena. Oh, weet
spirit, of camphor, double distilled essence
of Har;shorn, sour krou, OF my hopes, ap-
pie sauce Of nv thoughts, butter milk cat
sup Of my fancy Tiger of innocence,
apple butter OF perfection, DugwOOd OF
melody, thou art the fancy OF my dreams,
brandy smash Of my vision, sanla-cruze
of my recollection. Thou ART as haRd-
some as slriped hyena, spotted as
leopard or creased streak of lightning,
churned to consistency in The milky way.
Thou art as harmless as wolf hand
some as an elephant, melodious as lion.
Onions to my soul, picked pumpkins,
preserved apple Of The garden OF macon,
where your desperate lover dwels.
Your darling, BETSEY.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1857-01-31
429GB13AGB0U9e
Declaration of war from an NJ. d.

The Scalpel, for November, has {
br0adslde aimed at some Of the capita
sins of man and womanknd which
amounts 10 nothing else than a medica
declaration of war. Hear him:
Come heEe, thou filthy, sinking. mas.
ty, contemplate tobacco-chewer, whose
breath would poison our sewer, and
whose slavered lips woulG frighlen away
a night scavenger! here, take The Scap
in thy trembling hand, and read thy doom!
Wilt thou make respectable muck =
Throw away Thy tobacco. Get into a big
spiuoon, and let the water run over and
through thee, for lhe next two months ;
then get into vinegar vat, and undergo a
thorough picking, and by the 4th Of
March next thou maysl become decent
citizen.
Halo you rolIicking, hiccoughing,
stupid and spewing spaI peen of drunk
ard lie down in that gutter, and hear pa
tIenl!y our lervid virulence. What, in
the name Of decency and manhood, are
you about in putting that BeIzebub com
pound Of alcohol, acqua-loris and alum
into your aIimentary stew-pan Here,
take this il is one Of our emetics. Swal-
low it down and vomll ii up, and then let
us swab you out with wormwood tea and
some OF our ''capsicum catsup." We
know what's good for YOU. Hand over
your money, and set your muddled brains
Gf you have any lefD 10 work on is pa
ges. and 60 anywhere that we may send
YOU BlackweIl's Island, if we say so {;
bet 90 at once and have our prohihitory
liquor law enforced at the point OF the Seal,
pei Give up the liquor, or give your
carcass for dissection. Let conscience or
the crows lie satisfied.
You take snuff, do You? Well, if
your nose is of 10 more worth than TO
make dust hole Of, LET'S make your
mouth garbage barrel !! Here, open it,,
and let US put these wllhered cucumbers
and rotten apples aud cabbage in Hold |!
there are some striking scraps of scrofu-
Ious COW beef, and some cigar ends that
have been tweed smoked and sucked
Stay there's a few rotten onions, and
The contents of spltloon from grocery
store, where you go TO buy your dinner.
Don't be angry. It's just as nice as any
of your urinaled, excremenled, dried and
ground snuff! We shall have to put your
nose under the hydrant until winter. and
then begin to apply oil and 'urpentine un-
iii spring.
My dear Miss Lelilia Why do you
wear tight boots and high heels Your
fascinating foot will be spoiled. The
pressure will make your toes swell. You
" i'll have most agonIzing pains from corns.
and swelling from bunions. The beauty
Of vour foot will be lost, the springing
gracelulness of your tread will be gone !;
the legs will be sdlT and painful, and You
cannot dance the Iacina'ing scottische !;
you will have TO shuttle and amble, like
spawned nag. and perhaps your ankles
NAV give out. and yon be lame for life-
You can cuhica'e and Improve your
natural possessions aud gliIs and body OF
mind, bul you cannot alter or change
Them for he better. Your foot is just The
righ, size. Take care of il, wash II, rub
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1857-01-31

TEA FOR SICK HCRsEs.-..IinseeG tea
is not only a valuable restorative for sick
horses, but ii is exceedingly useful in dis
eases or inflammation OF the membranes Pc
cuIar 10 the organs Of respiration and dl-
geslIOD II shields and lnbTicales the same
iIanquiIizes the irritable stale Of he parts
and iavvIs healthy action. We have pre-
scrbed IInserd tea 10 large quantities du-
rIng lhe past month for horses laboTlng
under the prevailing influenza; they Seen,-
ed To derive much benefit from il, and IL
suaIIy drank II with sVldiy. Aside from
he benefit derived from the action al MT
cllsge aud 0Ii, EIeh ihe see0 contains, its
nulTlIye elements are OF some accoOnt,es.
peclalIy wheu gwen TO animals lsborIng
under soreness in tie organs OF deg lDtion,
which lncapsciisles them from swallow
ing more solid food. ln the event Of an
animal becoming prOsUaIed by inability
To mssilraIe or swallow more food, I'm
seed tea may be TesOrIed lO, and IN cases
"f irritable coughs The addition of hominy
makes It still more useful In the latter
form u may be gwen 10 animals laboring
nndeT acute or chronic diseases Of he u
r'nary sPPar ains, more especially Of ihe
kldneys.
10 prepare lln'eed tea, put a couple OF
handfulIs of lie seeds into bucket, and
pnur gallon aud hall oI boiling water
upon II. Cover il up short time. then
add Iwo gu5rls Of cold vsIrr, when il viii
be tit for use.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1857-01-31
In Debt and Out of it.

Ofwhat hldeous progeny OF i'll is debt
The father What meanness, what lnva-
sIons of seIi-respeci, what double-deaiing
How in due season it will carve The
frank, open face, into wrinkles; how like
/ a knife it will stab ali honest heart. And
/ then fOE It's transformation. How ii has
been known 10 change goodly face into
mask OF brass How with the misera-
/ BILE custom OF debt, has the true man be-
come a caIOus lrickSler! a freedom
| from debt, and what nourlshing sweetness
may be found in cold water, what tooth
someness in dry crust! what amhrusial
nourlShment in hard egg BE sure oi
/ it, he who dimes out Of deOt, though his
meal be biscuit aud onion, dimes in the
Apollo.
! And then for raiment, what warmth in
thread bare coat if tie laIIOr's receipt
he in your pocket What Tyrian pur,
4 pie in the faded waistcoat, not owed for,
how glossy the well worn hat If it covers
not the aching head of debtor. Next
tie home sweets, The outdoor recreation
of the freeman. I'he street door falls mol
knell on his heart; the foot Of the stair
case, through his anatomy at the rap OF
his door he can crow "cOme in," and his
pul.e still beats healhluIly, his heart
sinks not in his bowels.
See him abroad. How he returns look
for look with any passenger; bow he
saunters now meeting an acquaintance,
he stands and gossIps; but then rhls man
knows 10 debt that casts drug IN the
richest wine that makes the food OF the
gods unwhoesome, indigeslIbie that
>prnkeS lhe banques Of hucuIIus with
ashes, that drops SCOT N the soup OF an
emperor debt that, like moth, makes
vaueless furs and veivets. enclosing the
wearer IN fostering prison, The SHIRT OF
Nessus was shIIt not paid tori debt that
writes upon lresCOed walls The hand. WI
lmg OF The attorney; that puts a voice of
terror in the knOcker debt the invisible
demon that walks abroad with a man now
quIckening bis steps, now making him
took on all sides like hunted beast, and
which brings 10 bis face the ashy hue OF
death as the conscious passenger looks
upon him.
Poverty is bitter draught,vet may and
sometimes can, with advantage, be guIp-
ed down. Though the drlnker makes
WHY faces there may, ,afler all be whole
some goodness in The cup. But debt,
however courleously ii may be offered, is
the cup of Gree, and the wine spiced and
delicious though it may be, is poison.
The man out Of debt, though with a
flaw in his jerkiu. crack in his shoe lea
lher, and hole in his hat, is still son
of liberty. free as the singing lark above
him; but the debtor although clothed in
The utmost bravery, what is he bat serf
out upon a holiday, slave to be reclaim
ed al any instant by his owner, the cred
ltOr.
Son, if poor, @e wine in running
sprinI, see thy mouth water al a last
weeks roll, think threadbare coat The
only proper hing TO wear, and scknOw.
ledge whilew ashed gaTret The fiIesl
housing place for a gentleman Do this
and flee debt SO shall thy heart De al
rest and the sheriff confoundet.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1857-01-31
ERMs OF OUR PAPER.

The SHEPuERpsrowS REcisrER IS published
weekly at 81 year, positively to De Pal" peIore %
the year expires No paper u's[ [on,,';T'I au NoA
rcarages are paid up. Single copies q cents
AnTERrIsLmExrs Of one square or less 80
cents for the first insertion and y cents for each
,,s.rfion thereafter-iarger ones in the same
proportion Advertisements not marked for any
specitied time are continued till forbid and char
ged accordingly. A deduction made 10 those
Who advertise by the year.
Merchants who contract by the year for ad-
vertsing are strictly confined to Merchandiz-
iug-advcrtisng of 4 different nature will be IL
able to extra charge.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1857-01-31

green cloth and into the pockets of the
sharper. who may be found almost as Of
ten in the Fifth avenue as on the Five
Points. The present generation bids fair
TO exceed in frivolty and extravaganza
any that has ever preceded it since the
foundation Of the republic. Let 1t hot be
forgotten that the ei'emnacy Of people
is the surest forerunner Of the decay of a
naIiOn
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1857-01-31
C.G501C.83 9GB:55.51. ). !. !. .
From the Home Journal.
A BALLAD OF NANTUCKET.
BY T. B. ALDRICH.

"Where go yon, pretty Maggie,
Where go YOU in the rain -
81 60 TO ask the sailors
Who sailed the Spanish main.
Of they have seen my Willie,
If he'll come back to me
IT'S sad to have my darling
A sailing on the sea -
Oh Maggie, pretty Maggie,
Turn back to yonder town,
Your WiIlie's in the ocean,
An hundred fathoms down!
His hair has turned to sea-pelt,
Ills eyes have changed to stones,
And twice two years have knitted
The coral round his bones
The blossoms and the clover,
Shall bloom and bloom again,
Butnever shall your lover
Come o'er tie Spanish main
But Maggie never needed,
And mournfuliy said she
"'Tis sad TO have my darling
A sailing OH the sea
She left me in the darkness,
| heard the sea gull's screech,
And burly winds were growing
With breakers on the beach
The blythe bells of Nantucket,
What touching things they said,
When Maggie lay sleeping
With lilies round her head
The parson paeached a sermon,
And prayed and preached again
But Maggie'd gone to Willie
Acros, the Spanish main
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1857-01-31

ADVICE GRATIs.-Be content as long
as your Boiber is foil and body covered
remember the poor--kiss the pretty girls
--don'i rob yOur Deighbors hen roosi--
never pick an editors pocket. nor enter
tam an idea that he is going TO treat--kick
dull care tn the dencr-bIsck yonr own
-bodls---sew on your own buttons, and be
sure 10 take paper and pay for il. Good
practical advice.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1857-01-31
The Dntch Yyidower.

"Mine irOw vOS no better as sne oIt 'o
be, ill shusI before she diet; den she vos
80 good rs before, remarked MIR. Nanuea-
hord TO his nelghbOr.
Your wife was an amiable woman, ANA
YOU do great injustice 10 her memory
said Mr.. PIuggings.
Vel, vat YOU know so much bout nine
frow for :
Twas not intimately acquainted with
her bat am sure that all her acqUalntan-
ces loved her
.Yol right had they 10 love her may
be
May be what ,
May be yol loved mine frow, too.
WHY do you speak so strangely :
Wy, Won day pig ugly man, shust
/ like you, came into our house and Kissed
mine lrow right pelore her face
Were YOU present at the time
TO be sure vos.'
We'll, what did you do ?
Il Kick him right behind his pack.
Did lie resent ii
'Yaw. he broke me and te looking
glass, and all the rest Of the crockery IN le
house excepl le ledder bed, into dam
smash =
What did YOU do then
Den cried murler murter murter
and called for le shudge. and 'e shury
and le police office, and lie constable too
come, and he Eund away !
DO YOU intend 10 charge me win iak-
ing surh unwarrantable liberties with The
companion of your bosom
Me no charge noting for 1t now, be-
cause she pc lead and perried.
i will nol allow you to make such Ia
sinuarions. You are an old tyranl, and
everybody SAID you was glad your vile
Died
Everybody pc Won tam liar.
Il saw no symptoms OF soTow.'
Me felt more wusht tan if my pest cow
had lieG'
Your COW what comparison
She vos a great loss--a heavy loss
for she vos pig as dat, Extending out his
arm, and she weighed more tan two
hundred pounds
Look out old man, or you will see
lroubIe,-l doubt if your wife was ever
kissed by any man after her marrlage.-
At all events you must apologize for whas
you have said Of me-
'Vot is poogise 2
You must beg my pardon and say you
are sorry il you DO not | will enter
complaint against you and have you as-
rested
j pc sorry ten
Sorry for what ?
Sorry you kissed mine frow.'
You incorrigible idiot ! That is not
what you must say, for never did such
a hing in my life
Must say pc sorry that you never did
such thing 2
'Nu-you must take back what you
have said.
While the Duchman was in this dIle-
ma, his friend Hans Hamburger came "a
long and finally succeeded in re,olciling
The parties when the trio adjourned 10
neighboriEg coffee house.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1857-01-31

The best way io humble proud man
is To nominate tim i1r some important
Office in doubtful district. ]! lakes the
starch and pomaiun, oui Of him in very
short time. The ballot box is great in
sliluIion.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1857-01-31

An IiisIr gentleman hearing Of friend
having stone coffin msde, exclaimed,
"By me sowI. su' that's good idee -
Sure. an stone coffin nd last man h,a
lifetime. I"
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1857-01-31
IL. Il. IL.
CHAPTER |.

Egualizing the Circuation-rhe true method
Of preventing the establishment of Disease
Regulation the only means Of purifying the
blood aud restoring the sick to health-Quick
efficacy of Railways Ready Relief and Rad
ways Regulators, in curing the patient of
Coughs, Congestlons, Rheumatism, Penumo-
MIA, Sore Throat, lnfammatious, Fever and
Ague, Bilious Remittent and Intermittent,
Scarlet, Typhus, Chagres, and all Contagious
and Mont contagious tevers.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1857-01-31
Radway & CG

GROVES Dolphin, Gothic Pattern,
y Parior Cock, Troy Air Tight, Hay
ward Bartlett e. Co.'s Pattern. for sale by
Nov Is John FL. McEndree.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1857-01-31
AGEN r S .

WM. H. PGsEE, Sun Iron Buildings, Balti-
more; GEORGE A. CEoFUT, successor 10 Lay &
Brother,) - south 4th street, above Walnut,
Philadelphia; V. B PALMER, Tribune Build
iuss, New York.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1857-01-31
THE ROYAL TOUCH.
How the r. K. Rcsovent cured the Kings
Evil, after congress of Crowned Monarchs
Failed to restore the suPplcant TO health.
THE FIRST SIGN

|
| THE FIRST SIGN
The presence Of PimpleS, BIo.ches Pusules,
letters, Rash Little Sores Painful ltchiugs, Hot
Flushes SC, ARE sure indications Of the presence
of foreign and impure humors in the system
and if allowed to mingle with the blood and re-
main in the system corruptinS the blood and
filling the sewers of body with impurities, Sores
and Ulcers will break out, and cover the body
with their repuIsiye presence.
The Skin under these poisonous influence be-
comes an eruptive volcano, exhibiting TO the
eye the disgusting lava of disease, in the form OF
/ Salt, Rheum Cancers, Ulcers, Fever Sores,
Putrid r Fle b, Kings Evil, and the most Fright
ful EruPtions ofths Skim.
| Radway's Rcnovaling Resolyent has cured
the most terrible of Skin Diseases and Humors
it will never fail in The worst cases.
LARGE HOLES IN THE NECK.
I'm Emigrant called upon US a few months
since, who had been troubled with the disease
called "king's Evil" He had two very large
holes in his neck and his head, body and legs
were covered with the most disgusting and
lsickening sores. We Immediately placed him
under the influence Of the Resoivenl. In six
weeks from the time he called upon us every
sore was healed, not even 4 sore was left upon
his BODY TO remind him of the Mugs Evil"
This man, like thousands OF OTHER deluded
persons, had laid himself prostrated before two
Emperors, four Kings, and one Queen, to be
touched by the fingers Of Royalty, believing
that the hands of their "most sacred maJestIes
would drive away the evil" The Renoyating
Resolvent had more power IN restoring tbis
poor deluded victim OF cruel disease, 10 a
sound condition Of body, than all the kings and
monarchs on the earth.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1857-01-31

An Irish advertisement in city paper
reads :
Lost un Saturday last, bui ihe toser
don't know where. an Empty brg with a
cheese in it. Oa the sass.ihe lrIlers =.
e., are marked, but so IN ~ worn as not
TO be seen.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1857-01-31
READ HER LETTER.
January 3, 1856.

Messrs. Radwsy s Col tried your Ready
Relief aud had my joints rubbed with it, and |
never felt pain after The first ten minutes | was
rubbed with it up to the present time. Sirs.
do not know what to compare tito but charm
!or 1t is mystery TO me. was cripple for
limbs for three years. ] was worn down to a
sAeieton. then commenced the use of Your
Ready Relief, ReSolVeut aud Regulators. Tie
PAIN left NE IN ten minutes, and egan 10 gain
strength very fast. snd could walk with ease
~ few weeks. Before heard OF your Rene.
dle- was taken to DR.. Parker, DR.. Reese, Dr.
"aruie DR.. Macle Ian and my another physi.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1857-01-31
PALSEY--RHEUMATIsN.

How the r. r. r. Remedies raised Mrs. Sa-
rah A. Hough from crippled and helpless
condition, 10 sound health, after the skill of
four of the most learned physicians in New
York had failed to relieve her, Drs Parker,
Reese, " ardle aud Maclelan