Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1857-12-23
MY CRUELTY TO MY RELATIVES.

l had an aunt coming to visit me, for the first
time since my marriage, and don't know what
evil genius prompted the wickedness U ac-
knOSledge, with tears in my eyes, that it was
sHch) which perpetrated towards my wife and
my ancient relative.
= Ny dear said L to my wife. on the day
before my aunt's arrival, - you know Aunt
Mary Is coming tomorrow; WELL forgot to
mention rather annoying circumstance with
regard TO her. She's very deaf and although
she can hear my voice, to which she is accus-
toned, in its ordinary tones, vet you will be
obliged TO speak extremely loud in order to be
heard. Ii will be rather inconyenient but |
know you will do everything in your power to
make her stay agreeable
Mrs 5. announced her determination to make
herself heard, if possible.
then went to John Thomas who loves Joke
as well as any person l know of, told him to be
at my house, at p. m. on the following even
ing, and felt comparatively happy.
went To the railroad station with q carriage
the next evening, and when | was on my way
home with my aunt, 1 said
" My dear aunt, there is one rather annoyinc
infrmity that Amelia has, which / forgot to
mention before She's very deaf; and although
she can hear my voice, TO which she is accus-
toned, in its ordinary tones, yet you will be
Obliged to speak extremely loud in order to be
heard. Im sorry for it's
Aunt Mary, In the goodness of her heart pro-
tested that she rather liked speaking loud. and
TO do 50 would give her great pleasure
1hs earriage drove upon the steps was my
Wlte-at the window was John Thomas with a
face as utterly solemn as il he had buried all
MS relatives that afternoon.
l handed out my aunt-she assembled the
steps.
= | am delighted 10 see you" shrieked my
wife; and the policeman on the other side of the
started, and my aunt fell nearly down the steps
- Hiss me, my dear" howled my aunt; and
the ball lamp clattered, and the windows shook
a with the fever and ague. / looked at the
wlndOw-JOhn had disappeared. Human ma
ture could stand it no longer. / poked my
head into the carriage, and went into strong
commissions.
When entered the parlor, my wife was help
ing Aunt Mary to take off her bonnet and cape
and there sat John with his face of woe
suddenly; Did You have pleasant Jour
ney," went off my wife, like pistol, and John
Thomas jumped to his feet
" Rather dusty. was the response, In a war
whoop; and so the conversation continued
The neiShbors for streets around must have
heard 1t; when L was in the third story of the
building | heard every word plainly.
In tne course OF the evening my aunt took
occasion to say to me, . How loud your wife
speaks Don't it hurt her 9''
told her all deaf persons talked loudly;
and that my wife, being used To it was not af-
tected by tue exertiOn, and that Aunt Mary
was getting along very nicely with her.
Presently my wife said, softly, - Alf how
very loudly your aunt talks
- Y e., said /, "alI deaf persons do You
are getting along with her finely she hears
every word you say" And / rather think she
did
Elated by their success at being understood.
they went az ii hammer and tongs, till every
thing on the mantle-piece cIattered again. and
4 u. ,,c-. - -.
front OF the house.
But the end WAS near. NV aunt. being of
an investigating turn of mind was desirous of
hndIng cut whether the exeTtion of talking so
loud was not injurious to my wife So, said
she In an unearthly bOOt for hervoice was not
as musical "a il was when she was Young.
Doesn't talking 50 lOud strain your lungs 'h
q 1t is an exertiOn, shrieked my wife
Then why do you do it - was the answer
ing scream
q" "Beeause-because-you can't hear If /
don I. squealed my wife
: What" said my aunt, fairly rIvaling a
railroad this time.
began to think it time to eyasuate tbs
premises; and looking round and seeing Bbp
gone stepped into the back parIor, and there
lie lay hat on his back, with his feet at a right
angle to his body, rolling from side to side with
hls fst poked into his ribs and a most agon;z-
ny expression OF cOuntenance, but not utter
ing sOund. Immediately and invOluntarily
assumed similar attitude, and think that,
from the relative position Of our boots and
heads and our attempts to restrain our Iaugb.
ter apoplexy must have ensued, if "A horrible
groan which John gave vent to in his endeayor
10 repress his rislbility had not betrayed our
hiding place
In rushed my wife and my aunt, who by this
tune eomprehended the joke; and such scold-
lhs As then got nevergOt before, and hope
never to get again.
know not what the end would have been if
John- IN his endeayOrs to appear respectful
and sympathetic, had not given vent to such d
diabolleal noise, something between a groan
anI a hOrse-laugh, that ali gravity was upset,
and We screamed in concert 80