Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1857-02-25
WGone to Dinner.N

Gone to dinner, back in fifteen minutes. "
That notice stands on your office door.
You gormandizer! you ostrich! you, great
pig, Also, you lean, scrawny, wizzled anX-
ious-looking old thing You poor, irritable
touchy, snappish fellow
Nv gobbling friend, eating is not process
whose operation and results are wholly confined
within the stomach, as flesh is put to seeth
or soak within an iron pot 1t tells upon mus
cles and vitals, and brain and nerves-~upon
mind and soul Fifteen minutes! Fifteen MN
utes is enough to eat one cracker in and drink a
glass of water; andsee the mass OF victuals that
YOU are pitchforling into your countenance, as
if you thought harpy was watching to snatch
it from you. ;,
How dare you bolt those chunks of meat all
soaked with gravy" and that greasy, sodden
pie. and hot cakes, and Kissing mud-colored cot
fee, and then, while your miserable, overwork-
ed old stomach is calling for all the disposaole
nervous energy of your system to help 1t drudge
in it, its tyraDt's task, jumping headlong back
into your close dark counting room and demand
that same nervous energy from the same source
to engineer your brains and eyes in absorbing
exertion of making money! lgnoramus, how
dare you2 :,
Well, poor fellow, it's of no use to scold at
YOU. after all Pity is much moro appropriate
to your sad case. Who would be such n juice
less, dirt complexion, dried-up husk, for all your
money, or all every bodys else? 1t IS but
manned soul and a deformed body thatyou have
acquired under that regimen. And when your
old, cracked, shaly constitution quite breaks up
and you die prematurely ly-wretched man, who
knows what miserable fate You will have incur
red by your years of st-still money-grubbing
and this intensified course of mad aggrava'
tions with unchewed meat-chunks and hot
grease and drink all laze!.-L!te l~'
A NOVEL MAIL CARR1ER.-A Washington cor
respondent of the Boston Traveller gives the fol-
lowing description of one Of the attaches OF the
National Intelligencer office:
"Speaking of the 1ntellgencer reminds me o.
one of the attaches of that Office. lie is very
large very saeacious, very old and very self-im
portant Newfoundland dog. Like everybody
and everything about the office, he bears an ap'
pearance of extreme soldity, and great good ma
ture. but also of an ability and determination tc
maintain his principles, privileges and rights
Since have known him, it has been his custom
to 60 to the postoffice every morning with the
mail bap This morning as ! returned / met
him: he occupied the narrow footpath, and pick,
ed his way along very daintily. The snow or
either side was about four feet deep. One must
turn out, and | rather expected to take prece,
dence over his dogship. But not an inch would
he weld, and when l attempted to push him of
into the snow, he very good-naturedly turned
the tables by placing his immense paws on my
shoulders and precipitating Inc headlong into the
snow bank. and then quietly passing over my
BODY. recovered my equilibrium in time to
see several others who had laughed at my fall
take warning by my fate, and accord the way to
the old fellow, who passed on his way as quietly
oca -