The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1857-09-09
MATRIMONIAL ENGAGE
MENTS.
BY GENIO C. SCOTT.

| IL SCclilS W us llOJ dlGOSClucI WIJlOut IutcI-
est to our lady-readers.
A matrimonial engagement is a kind
of understanding between parties loving,
or protesting to love, one another, that,
as soon as circumstances will permit, they
shall be united in the holy bonds of mat
rimony.
Nowadays, there is no formal betroth-
al, as in the olden time; nor is a written
promise of marriage necessary-but mere
ly an interchange of tender attentions,
and vows of love. This is the place for
magazine writers of heavy papers to di-
gress, searching the "Treasury of Knowl
edge" and the ''Penny Magazine" obso-
lete works about ancient laws and usa ges,
that they may spin out their pages, AMI
show the opinions of all time, no love, law
and prudence. But we ignore all musty
authorities, and boldly assume that two
men naturally wish to be married" They
spend hours, daily, dreaming and think
ing about this state; and not a few, we
fear, in maneuving how they may best
secure settlement in life. This is laud-
able and proper, to certain extent; but
not to the overlooking of such prerequi-
sites as are necessary for them to support
themselves with, if called upon to do so,
or they may ascertain, when too late, the
value of personal independence, without
which, political independence is worse
than sham. Look at the young ladies
in the middle classes of n ew-Y ork society.
What is the object of their lives? Hun
dreds of them have no fortunes, nor even
distant probability of possessing any.
"They are taught seduously every &C
complishment, with a view to make them
lady-ike and gentecl. Their tine chiefly
spent in visiting, dressing, fancy needle
work, and but rarely in useful employ
ments, or in the cultivation of their men
tai powers. Of course, as the natural re-
suit of this state of things, time hangs
somewhat heavily on their hands, and
they welcome eagerly anything that
promises to relieve its dull monotony.-
Perhaps this change arrives in the shape
of a lover; and then with what gratifca-
ton are his addresses received. Their
relatives are often too INDECENT, or on the
other hand, too much engaged, to inquire
at the onset whether the new introduction
to their Preside is in position to address
the lady with view to marriage, and the
delicacy of her sex prevents her from ma
king single inquiry as to the future
prospects of her admirer So the court
ship commences, and progresses. Where
the circumstances of the parties are favor
able, a marriage within a short period is
the result of this happy and tender period
of bliss.
"But it is not to this kind of courtship
that we refer 1t is to those eases where
the gentleman has no prospect, for years,
of supporting wife and family; and yet,
because he loves girl, and likes her socie-
to- he wantonly trifles with her peace of
mind
"Men areas naturally tickle as women
are constant and confding. For some
time after gentleman has told the tale
of his love, he woos with ardor; but let it
be reciprocated, and the ladv's affections
securely and unchangeably his, then, in
eight cases out of ten, his affection cools.
If his circumstances are not good he be-
gins to think that after all, an engage
ment' is a weary affair. Here Maria or
Jane is expecting, month after month, that
he can marry her, when it may be years ere
he can even think of such thing. So
he slackens his attentions little. Where
he formerly went every evening, or thrice
a week to see his lady-love, he now thinks
once week sufficient. He continually
breaks the appointments he may have
made to accompany her to places of
amusement; in fact, their being no pros
pect of marriage, he feels that he is tri-
fling with her affections, although only a
few short months have passed away since
he tried so hard to gain them. He is
bound, certainly, by the iron tie of honor,
but he longs to be free; and though her
.,eart may break in the effort to release
him, there are few girls who would not
suffer anything rather than receive the
attentions of an unwilling sutton, rendered
from sense of duty and honor alone.
So the affair comes to an end, and the
wor Id speaks of it as "a broken engage
ment.'
"Ah! could we just peep into some of
the homes of our fair friends, we should
see in its full extent the meaning of these
words, How many gentle and lovely
creatures have had their calmness and
serenity of mind forever destroyed by the
thoughtlessness and heartless cruelty of
the other sex.
"To conclude these remarks, we would
just recommend to our young ladies to
occupy their minds in general way more
than they are in the habit of doing.
Assign to each day its work. Whether
it be the languages you are studying, or
music, or painting; or, if in the humber
classes, the healthy occupations Of house,
hold employments, do what you do with
all your might, and let not dreamy fan
cies and vagaries fill your heads, When
a lover woos, do not permit your every
thought to be at once taken up with him,
but continue your various duties, and
until your wedding day is fixed, make
not snre Of yourhappiness. We shall be
very glad when our young friends arrive
a. this state of nhiioSonhiaol calmness for