Republican vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1857, 1857-05-02
JOKES AND BAD LIQUOR.

Joke has done the most mischief, we are not
called upon inst now to determine. We pro-
pose to rake mention of an affair where bad
liquor and u practical joke were productive
Of the very best consequences imaginable.
Many years ago, white the State Of Geo.
gla was yet in its infancy, an eccentric crea-
ture named Brown was one of its Circuit
Judges. He was a man Of considerable
ability, Of inflexiblc integrity, aud much lie
loved and respected by all tie legal proics-
sion; but he had one common fanlt. His
social qualities would lead him, despite his
Judgment, into frequent excuses. in tray
cling the circuit it was his almost inyariable
habit, the night before opening the Court, to
get comfortably corned, by means of ap-
piiances common on such occasions. Ii he
couldn't succeed while operating on his own
hook, the members c. the bar you'd gene
rally turn in and help him.
1t was the spring of the year. Taking
his Hife-a model Of woman in her way
in the ED fashioned bat strong 'earry-all, >
he io0rncyed some forty miles ami reached
y village where court was to be opened the
next day II was along in the evening Of
Sunday that he arrived at the place and took
up quarters With relation Of his better
half, by whom the presence Of tue judicial
dignitary was considered singular honor.
After supper, Judge Brown strollcd over to
the only tavern in tie town, where he found
many friends called to the place, ike him
self, on important professional business, AMI
who were properly glad to meet him.
''Gentlomen. said the Judge, lit $ quite
a long time since we enjoyed glass teeeth-
cr-lct US take Il drink all round Of course
Sterrett, addressing the landlord You have
better liquor than you had the last time we
were here--the stuff, you had then was net
tt to give dog
Sterrett pretended that everything was
sight, and SO they went to work L is un-
necessary to enlarge upon drinking about
i'll a country tayern-it will quite answer
eur purpose to state that somewhere ia the
region of midnight the Judge wended his
very deyious way towards his temporary
home. About the time he was leaving, how
ever, some young barristers, fond Of a 'prac-
teal, and not much afraid of the bench,
transferred all the silver spoons Of Sterrett
to the Judges coat pocket
1t was eight o'clock on Monday morning
when the Judge arose. Having INDUCED in
the process of ablution and partaking Of a
cheerful ard refreshing breakfast, he went
to his room to prepare Himself 20 lie du=
ties of the day
well, Polly said he to his wife, 4
feel much better than | expected to feel az
Ter that frolic Of last night >
''Ah, Judge" said She reproaehfally.
you are getting too cid you ought to leave
off that business
s.Ah, Polly-whats the 1ae Of talking 2
1t was at this. precise instant Of time thai
the Judge was proceeding, according to lis
usual custom, to give his wife parting kiss.
and he happened, in thrusting his hand into
his pocket, to lay hold of Sterrott spoons.
lie ierlSed them out With an expression
of horror almost Undesirable. he azel8im-
Cd -
"My God Polly Z
What on earth's the matter, Jal -.
Just look at these spoons =
Dear me. where dye get them =
Get them? Don't you see the initials on
them?' extending them towards her. Il
stole them"
''Stole them, Judge =
Yes, stole them =
My dear husband, it can't be possible
From whom p
'.From Sterrett, over there-his name Is
on them
Good heayens how could it have hap
pcned Y
Il know very we'll, Polly was very
drunk when | came home, wasn't | -
why, Judge, you know your old habit
when you get among them lawyers .
But was very drunk p
" s. you was.
Was | rcmarhot7g drunk when got
home. Mrs. Brown =
Yes, Judge, drunk rs fool, aud forty
times as stupid -"
] thought so, said the Judge, dropping
into chair in extreme dependency Il
it would come % that at last have
always thought that something bad would
happen to me=--that ] should DO something
very wroag kill somebody in moment OF
passion perhaps but never imagined that
could be guilty of deliberate larceny.
but there may be some mistake about it,
Judge.
NO mistake, Polly | know very well
how ii came about That fellow, Stcrrett,
Keeps the meancst sort OF liquor, and al
ways did--liIuor mean enough to make a
fellow do any SORT of a mean thing. | have
always SAID ii was mean enough to make a
man steal, aud now have a practical Illus
tration of the fact p and lie burst into tears.
Done be a child, said his wife, wiping
away the tears; Ego like man over to
Sterrett--tell him it was a little bit of Il
frolic-pa pass it off as a ioke---go and open
the Court, and nobody will think of il
again"
A little OF this soothing system operated
upon the Judge as such things usually do
his extreme modification was finally sab
dned, and over to Starrett's he went with a
tolerable face Of course lie bad little diff
iiculty in settling with him-tgom The fact
that the Judges integrity was unquostiona-
DC, and that he had an inklmg Of the joke
that had been played.
The Judge took his seat in Court but it
was observed that he was sad and melan-
eholy AMI that his mind frequently wander
ed from the business before him. There was
lack Of sense and intelligence that usually
characterized his proceedings.
several days passed away, and tie bust
ness of the Court was drawing 10 q close,
when enc morning rough looking sort of a
ooustomer was arraiened ca Charge Of
stealing After the clerk had read the in
dietment to him, he pat the usual question
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