Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1857-03-04
For the Spectator.
To Kate Kareless.

that excellent tnln8 Ill Wohaii," SUM- SNt''-S~
low voice"
Singing as sweetly as nightingale
and looking as clear
GAS morning roses newly wash'd with dew
But rather as
"a woman impudcnt and mannist grown"
seeking
"For rule, supremacy and sway
"Where YOU are bound to love, serve and obey
For whatever of "woman's fear" may lie hiddel
in your heart, yOu have, it must be confessed
admirably succeeded in assuming "a wasllin!
and martial outside" and your "unrazored ups
utter words of most valorous import. But, not
withstanding this, |, and the other LORDS o
Creation" rs well as the ''rest OF manKhd' ar
so much delighted to meet you again, my su
per-dainty Kate" (''for daintes are all Gates,
that we are not disposed TO quarrel OF iiiiu i'ui
will, YOU, no matter in what mood OF mind
for what purpose You may choose 10 colhe-you
presence being
GAS fair morning of the blessed spring
CATER tedious stormy night.
And rs well know
"There's nothing ill can dwell in such temple"
in the name of and in behalf of my sex, | again
bid YOU welcome, however memorable may be
your purpose or unlimited your demands.
I had prepared an elaborate argument, in VIM
dcaton of my friend the Mayor and the other
good "City Fathers against your charges, which
| intended at this point addressing to your rea'
son, until | remembered that "woman's head Is
usually over ears in her heart" and "as | an
10th to cast away my speech; for besides tina,
its excellenty well penned, have taken great
pains to coin it." | therefore omit it.
Now to your late communication. 1t VIII DC
remembered by the readers of the Spectator, that
the last time they had the pleasure of meeting
you, my bonny Kate" you were
"Arm'd with rcsistless fame
And the artillery of the eye"
Aided by pen as keen and cutting
Gas is the razor's edge invisible"
engaged in the "IIerculean task" of driving. "us
men" from the ''boxes, barrels and benches" on
the side waks-and denying to all the 'wearerS
of shanghai coats" the pleasure of even gazing
at woman q follow Col. Benton and eschew
"Lady'O as she walks the streets
"Her elbows ruflled and her tottering form
Ill.proppd upon French heels.
But not satisfied with this magnimous achieve
ment, you now come, in illustration l suppose
of the old proverb that says, give an inch and
take an ell" and demand that we shall surrender
to you, and your fair friends all the civil offices
of the town. You insist that his honor, the
Mayor, shall doff his official robes; that the
Common Councilmen shall give up their dignity
that the Sergeant shall resign his mace, ana The
Constable lay aside his tipstatf; and that you,
Fannie, Salie and Miss Prue, shall Immediately
be indicted into the Offices thus made vacant
To this demand am willing to yield most
cordially, dutifully and CALAMITY. Because
deem it more graceful, and it is certainly less
humliating, to yield voluntarily than to be
driven to it sci ct armis" q hope Kate will al
low me to quote the only scrap of Latin | know
for from the specimen you have heretofore given
of your powers and determination we had just
as well 'come down" at once. | assure you,
that, for my part, have no desire to provoke
one of whom it may be truly said
"Where she hits nought knows and whom she hurts
nought cares"
And again, we are in a great degree reconcled
to the loss of power and authority by the reflec-
ton that we can eyclaim,
0, Polished Perturbation. Golden case,
That keep st the ports of slumber open wide
To many wakeiul-night.
Avauni, get thee gone, for now,
All the night in silver sleep we'll spend,
No noise, no care, no vanity, no strife,
disturbs our peace, quiet and repose.
In this connection. wish to suggest to my mas
culine friends that as imam made the town II
is nothing more than fair that woman should be
allowed to govern it,
Another consideration in favor of the election
of the peerless Kate" is her modesty, which
hangs like
"a veil of purest light Ger all her beauties
That "merit and moGesty" go hand in hand has
become proverb, the truth of which is beau
tifully Illustrated in the life and character of my
fair friend. Kate Kareless. Elect her Mayor and
make Fannie Flauner and Kitty Sprlghtiy,
Street Commissioners, and guaranty that the
citizens of this good old Borough shall safely
walk
"Where winding alleys lead the doubtful way,
The silent court and opening square explore,
And long perpexing lanes untrod before"
And no longer shall
"The rough pavement wound the yielding tread"
But
earth from her womb fnty tribute pay
To prove and smoothe the broken way
And that we shall not only
"Walk clean by day but safe by night"
our pockets Enlightened by ''unfelt fingers" Fol
under the glorious reign of the Queenly Kate
"Sight-shunuing Theft, and traitorous intent,
Abhorred Bloodshed and vile Felony,
Shameful Deceit, and danger imminent,
Foul horror, and exc hellish Dreariment,'
shall all be banished beyond the limits of hel
Jurisdiction.
But were 10 undertake to tell all the bless
ngs that will flow from your advancement tc
the highest office in the gift of the 'tree intelli
gent and independent voters" of the town,
81 more vouminous shoald grow,
Thou Holngshed or Stowe
| must therefore desist.
There is, however, one thing that troubles me
hugely-It has for several nights driven iron
my couch
"Tired natures sweet restorer;"-
You know. the
''Wretched he forsakes"
1t is this, do not see how You,
"The prettiest Kate in Christendom,"
and your fairer friends, Prue, Fannie, Sal!ie ant
Kittie can spare time enough
"From visits 10 receive and pay,
From scandal, from soireeS and play,
From all tue thousand female toys,
From every tritle that employs
The out or inside of your heads,
Between your toilets and your beds"
to put ''rhings to rights in such ''multitudn
Gus" town as this. |, however, am willing tt
trust every thing to your unmatched ability, be
lieving that your tact, energy and industry vii
be found equal to every emergency.
therefore subscribe myself yours in the bono
of laudible love of public Improvement,
WILL WOFFLE.
IMPROVED POSTAGE STAMPs-The Postmaste
General has ordered the adoption of an improve
ment in the manufacture of Postage Stamps
which has been for some time in use in England
They are to be prepared on sheets with perfora
tions around the borders OF each stamp. so tina
they can be separated one from the other, with
out using knife or pair of scissors. Beside
the saving Of time in this Improvement, there i
greater security that the stamp will adhere t,
the letter, for the points or rough edge left b,
the pertoratons will stick better to the letter
there being none of the risk of the edge turnin;
up as when it is continuous; these stamps ar
anorad Inv Mpssrs Tn,nan Cornantar &, ~ N