Muscatine weekly journal. [volume] (Muscatine, Iowa) 185?-1890, 1857-09-12
Joems' First Experience as a Gal.
liant.

Jeems, First Experience as a Gal.
liant,
"Jeems," of the Baldwinsvile Gazette
that tall, gaunt, awkward, but clever-souled
mortal, who presdes over the columns OF
that paper, and whose TROUBLES at rail-
road depot" at Syracuse have gone the
rounds-gives the following graphic account
of ''the first time he went home with girl
He says he ''feels impelled to chronicle it
for the amusement Of the public, and the
special ediication" ofcertain members of the
editorial fraternity, who are forever poking
fun at him. Hear "Jeems:"
1--WE were about sixteen or seventeen
years of age when the event about to be re.
lated TRANSFERRED, and as description of our
personal appearance at that time is absolute
ly necessary to the point of our story, we
will give it as concisely as the subject will
allow. In reference, then, to that period, ito
say that we were green, in the usual accept.
ance of that term, would give the reader
but poor idea OF the figure we displayed
Rather imagine tall, lean, cadaverous,
ewarthy looking chap, with legs like pair
of tong-, a countenance about as expressive
a. a plate of Dutch cheese, mouth that
came very near making an island of all the
head above it; face covered with .turSe,
that looked very much like the down on
newly Matched goslin; with gait that wAuld
lead the beholder to conclude that we de-
signed to travel down both sides Of the
street at the same time, and you have a cor
rectdaguereotype ofJeems in the seventeenth
Year of his agc.
One dark. gloomy night in the month of
December, we CHANGED to have spelling
school," not thousand miles from Bald
wiusville, where our eye first fell on a
''fairy torm," that Immediately set our sus-
ceptible heart in a blaze. She was sixteen,
or thereabouts, with bright eyes, red cheeks
and cherry lips, while the auburn ringlets
clustered in wealth Of profusion around
her beautiful head, and her person, to our
ravished Imagination, was more perfect in
form and outline than the most faultless
statue ever chiseled by the sculptor's art.
AS we gazed, our feelings, which never be-
fore had aspired girlward, Were fully arous-
ed, and We determined to 90 home ,citA her
that night, or perish in the attempt AS
soon, therefore, as school was dismissed, and
our "lady love- suitably bonneted and
cloaked, we approached to offer our services
rs contemplated, and we then learned an
i'm ortant lesson. viz: the difference between
resolrimJ and doing AS we neared her We
were seized with partial blindness-red
green, blue and yellow lights flashed upon
our vision, and appeared and disappeared
like witches in phantasmagoria-our knees
smote together like Belshazzar's when he
observed the writing on the wall, while our
heart thumped with apparently as much
force as if it were driving tenpenny nails iu
to our ribs. We, in the meantime, managed
to humble over something, which is per-
haps known to the Recording Angels, but
certainly is not to us, at the same time polk
ing out our elbow as nearly at right angles
with our body as our physical conformation
would permit.
The night air blew keenly, which served
in some sort to revive us, and as our senses
returned, what were our emotions on finding
the cherished object of our first love cling
ing to our arm with all the tenacity with
which drowning man is said to clutch at r
straw! Talk of Elysium. or sliding down
a creased rainbow, or feeding on German
flutes, what are SIGH 'sphelinks" in compar-
ison with those mighty ones which swell ed
our bosom nigh INTO the bursting off our
waistcoat buttons!
Our happiness was sublime sublianity sub
Hmely subtimGted; and every person who
has ever felt the divine throbbngs of fledg-
ed love principle, fully understands the world
of bliss couched in the fourth, fifth, sixth and
seventh words at the commencement of this
sentence.
Well, we passed on pleasantly towards our
Sally's home, talking of's love and dove, and
dart and part" until SO courageous had we
become, that we actually proposed to &C 60
in, and sit awhile" to which our Dulcinea
very kindly sssented. Alas, for US! how
soon were we to be reminded that the
sscourse of true love never did run smooth
Sally had brother of some ten summers,
who accompanied us along the way, and who
was in wonderfully high spirits at the idea
of his sisters having beau, and he. would
walk around us frequently, giggling in the
height Of his glee, and cycling us as closely
as if ourself and Sally were the world-re-
nowned Samese twins, and he was taking
his FIRST look. Bill, by the way, was . stub
bed, chuckle-headed boy, whose habiliments
would Lave made the fortunes of any two
dealers in mop rags.
A. Len 9Th we reached the bars, and xhil(