Marshall County Democrat. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1855-1859, 1857-02-19
~ Why are kisses like the Crea-

~ Why are kisses like the Crea
Because they are pronounced good, ant
are made out of nothing.
E"Nat, what are leanining over tina
empty cask for?''
IL am mourning over departed spirits"
was the reply.
Es-"You look as though you were be-
side yourself" as the wag said to fop,
who happened to be standing by don
key.
E'Tom, word with you.'
BE quick, then! Pm in hurry
What did you give your sick horse the
other day?'
"a pint of turpentine'
John hurries home and administers the
same dose to a favorite charger, who to his
astonishment, drops off defunct in half an
hour.
His opinion Of his friend Toms veteri-
nary ability is somewhat staggered. He
meets him the next day.
We'll, Tom
We'll, what is it?'
and it killed him as dead rs julius Ca-
sarl!'
so it did NINE
EE'If you don't want dem bricks bro
ken said darkey in New Orleans to a
bricklayer working on a house, you had
better not let 'em fall dat way on dis Mig
gers head
ga The finest idea of a thunder storm
extan:, is when Virgins came home tight
Now Virgins was a teacher and had been
to a temperance meeting, and had taken too
much lemonade, or something. He came
in the room among his wife and daughters,
and just then fell over the cradle and
tumbled whop upon the floor. After a.
while he rose, and said:
''Wife. are you hurt?"
"No."
"Girls, are you hurt?"
"No."
Terrible clap, wasn't it?''
~ A minister approached mischie-
vous urchin about twelve years old, and
laying his hand upon his shoulder, thus
addressed him:
MY son, l believe the devil has got
hold Of YOU
L suppose he has too was the signif-
cant reply of the urchin.
HA Texan editor, noticing the mar
rage OF a contemporary, says:
we wish him posterity and happiness
e. Humble as I am said a politi-
cal spouter,' l still remember that l am
a fraction of this magnificent republic
You are. indeed said a bys'andor,
and very vulgar one, at that
GETTING THINGS MIXED UP.-Boy with
ragged trowsers and rimless chip hat, runs
into DR.. Fuller's Drug Store with dipper
In his hand: Doctor, mother sent me down
to the shoticary pop quicker'n blazes, COS
bub's sick as the dickens with the pichen
chox, and she wants thimblefull of polly
gollick in this din Upper, cos we hain't
bot a gottle. and the kint pups got The
bine Writer'S int Got any?'
EE' Children should be seen and not
heard as the boy said to his teacher when
he did not know his lesson.
e. Why don't you strike one of your
own s;ze,' as the nail said to the sledge-
hammer.
Es They tell story about Yankee
tailor dunning a man for the amount of his
bill. The man replied:
1 am sorry, very sorry indeed, that l
can't pay it,
s4a'Well,' replied the tailor, Il took you to
be man that would be sorry, but if you
are sorrier than l am, I'll quit
ES \ mer chant wrote 20 n custom 5
that, as his bill had beer standing some.
time, a settlement was now necessary
The customer cody replied: 'As you
bill has been Standing SO long, it may be
tired; please ask it to SIT doWn'
EE- The men all subscribe to tho fol-
lowing sentiment:
The Ladies-May their virtues exceed
the magnitude of their skiIts, and their
faults be less than their bonnets.
Eg Miss Tucker says it Is with old
bachelors a, with old wood; it is hard to
get them started. but when they do flame
they burn prodigiously.
Es~ Mr. Jones met Mr. Smith as he
was going on boarda steamer on the Mis-
sissippi, and asked,
Which way. Smith, up or DOWN.
That depends upon circumstances, re-
piled the latter; if L get berth over, the
boiler, | shall probably go up; if in the
cabin, damn We have not heerd Of him
since.
Eg There il firm in New York whose
names read thus: Jonathan Shot and
William Fell
ES Short visits are the BEST as the
fly said when he lit on the red hot stove.
EH- Why is n man beating his wife
upstairs, like a gentleman?
Because he's ADORE doing mean action.