Southern sentinel. [volume] (Plaquemine, Parish of Iberville [La.]) 1848-1858, 1857-03-21

= '""N' 4LI!dSlLIS tueLG Is 1dTOI.
: ter under every paving stone, or hiding
| behind every lamp-post. Daylight some
times shows me the strange mistakes I
had made in the night. / find that l
have been two blocks out of my way to
f avoid broken wheelbarrow which took
for concealed ruffian; and have run half
a mile TO get away from pump, which
thought was fierce garoner with club
raised; and have on nine occasions cross
ed the street through a knee deep puddle
to escape molasses hogshead, which /
supposed 10 be rotund robber living in
wait for the subscriber. This state of
things was unendurable, and according
ly armed myself for the worst. / got re-
VoIver, bowie knife, a dagger, slung
shot, a sword-cane, a billy q police.
mans club, pair Of brass hnuckles. and
SIX good large paving stones, which car
rted 10 convenient place in my oVer-coat
| pocket---there wasn't an inch of me that
wasn't guarded by something that would
shoot, strike or stab. I had, to be sure.
some little trouble IN managing the entire
arnory- fired away four boxes of per
cusslon caps, practicing how to draw and
fire my revolver in the least space of time
then ] thought I'd load it, which did
putting so much powder into each barrel |
that had TO drive the ball in at the end |
with tack hammer-then | tried to fire |
It, and not barrel would go off-then at |
dinner | accidentally dropped it, and it
all went off at once, lodging three of the
balls IN boiled ham on the table, while
the rest brought up in large bowl of
mnce-meat IN the kitchen, and were af-
terwards discovered in the pies by the
boarders-then / sat down on my bowie
knife and cut my leg half off-then l
dropped my dagger out of the sheath, and
it went through the top Of my boot and
stuck into my foot, three times have |
smashed my toes with my slung shot; aud
have broken two entire sets of chamber
crockery, four mirrors, and all my win
dow glass, practicing with my club aud
swordcane.
My pockets are so full Of instruments y,
OF death, that they are 10 the way of my ,
bushes, if want my memorandum book :
out comes my revolver; if | have occasion :
for my portmonnaie, find billy in its &,
place; instead Of my penknife, | put my =
hand on slungshot; when | am in a .
hurry for my latchkey, | cant find any =
Thing but pair Of brass knuekles, and !
have, on four different occasions, attemp- .
ed TO pay my board with paving stones. =
simply because couldn't find anything
Else in my pocket.
But am fast becoming expert. can
iraw and fire my revolver in two minutes n
md half, if the lock doesn't catch in 1,
he lining of my pocket; can get brass
InuckIes ready for action in four minutes +"
can draw my bowie eknife as quick as =
'an unbutton my over-coat to get at the A
landIe; and | can strike another man
With my slungshot as often as hit myself
which is more than | could do at first
beware, Doesticks is prepared.
CourageousIy, n
q. X. PHILANDER DoEsTICKs, p. B. /
p. S.-I've been thinking the matter h
yer; on examining my private accounts, az az
find l owe money in divers and sundry \, d
laces, as follows: n
Tailor $1,000 W
Bootmaker 1850 m m
Board 2IlI til
Chop House 387
Borrowed money 30 P;'
Beer l425 f
| dare not add it up, the total amount az
ould overpower me, they have all heard n n
lat intended to leave town tomorrow, pl
nd they are all here. $93 is ia the hall,
II SO is talking with $2I II in the front "a "a
arlor; SO 81 sits on the door step, while r,
ID 25 has two boys on the corner, to see an
lat don't run away before hegets back :,
ON dinner. There is but one resource, tn tn
II make paper I'll Huntington check, lar
AXE it payable tomorrow, show it to du
ese .harpies, make them albbelieve that tT9 a9
ey'll get their money soon, and then, to- ~
ght, in spite ofmy multitudinous weap- Fl
IS, I'll be garotted aad robbed of all pr
ave; Jones says he'll do it for me, he'll pa
We me scientific black eye for nothing, to
Id peel my nose without charge. icon NJ
gn myself to the tender. mercies of Jones fin
hich must satisfy my creditors for ano- a.1 t,I
er three weeks. VI
Despairingly, of
@. X. p. D., P. H. N,
Wonderful if True. fa g,
A small Paris journal called Les Con1Il be
mporains, has just published a mfAt the Inc
range account, signed Henri Pase oS oi' tbos bos
Id I