Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1857-09-21
JENK'S WHISPERS.


turning on tho subject of buying and selling
stocks, a remark was made by a gentleman
present, that he thought no person should sell
out stock in such-and-such bank at that time,
as 1t must get better in few days.
will sell anything I've got, if can make
anything on it, replied jerks
Oh, no" replied one, - not any thing; you
wouldn't sell your whiskersl"
loud laugh followed this chance remark
jerks Immediately answered:
= wOuld-but who would want them? ANY
person making the purchase would lose money
by the operation, / IN thinking"
Well, observed, "I would he willing to
take the speculation, if the price could bo made
reasonable" :"
"Oh, I'll sell 'em cheap" answered jerks,
WinkIng at the gentlemen present.
What do you call cheap" inquired
IN sell EN- for fifty dollars" jerks an
swered, putting forth cloud of smoke across
the counter, and repeating the wink.
WoI, that IS cheap; and you'll sell your
Whiskers for fifty dollsrs?''
- will"
Both of them?''
:" Both Of them"
"Ill take them, When can have them -
Any time you choose to call for them"
very well-they're mine. / think I shall
double my money on them at least
L took bill Of sale as follows:
Received of Sol Smith, fifty dollars in full
called for ] JyxKs"
Inc sum of fifty dollars was paid and jerks
lett the brokers' Office in high glee flourishing
nVe Central Bank KS, and telling all his ac.
quaIntanceS of the great bargain be had made
in the sale OF his whiskers.
Inc broker and his friends laughed at me for
being taken in so nicely. Never mind, y said
l, " let those laugh that win; I'll make a pro-
NJ out OF those whiskers. depend on it. ="
FOR week after this whenever / met jerks
ne asked me when l intended to call for my
Whiskers.
I'll let you know when 1 want them. -" wa,
always my answer. Take good care of them
OIL them occasionally; shall call for them one
OF these days"
A splendid ball was to be given 1 ascer-
tanned that jerks was to be one of the mana
gers-he being great ladies' man. Ton account
Oi ms WhlSkers, l suppose,) and it occurred to
e' Lne tna1 oetore tne ball took place might as
we'll call for my whiskers
=, One morning met jerks in barber's shop
lie was adonlzing before a large mirror and
combing up my whiskerS at a devil of a rate.
An there you are old fellow said he,
speaking to my reflection through the glass.
Come for your whiskers, l SUPPOSE
a shave - 'Oi
Always ready, you know he answered.
giving final tie to his cravat.
Come to think Of it, said musingly, as
the barber began TO put the lather on my face,
:, perhaps now would be as good time as ano-
tner you may sit down, and let the barber
ny ms hand At the whiskers"
lou could nj wait until tomorrow, could
you ne asked, hesitatingly. There's ball
tonight you know
" 10 De sure there is, and think you ought
70 20 with clean face; at all events, don't
see any reason why you should expect to wear
ny whlskers to that ball so sit down.
lie rather sulkily Obeyed, and in few mo-
menus MS cheeks were in perfect foam of lath-
er- The barber 1Ourished his razor, and was
spout 70 commence operations when suddenly
changed my mind" J"
= stop, Mr. Barber" said " Won needn't
shave of those whiskers just yeti So he qui-
Guy put up his razor, while jerks, started ND
from the chair IN something very much resem-
bling passion.
Ihls is triaing, he exclaimed you have
claimed your WhIskers-take them :"
believe man has right to do as he
and left jerks washing his face.
AT ulhner that day, the conversation turned
upon the whisker affair. 1t seems the whole
town had got wind Of it, and jerks could not
walk tae street without the remark being con-
uhualiy made by the boys There goes the
man with old Soils whiskers,'' And they had
grown u an immense size, for he dared not trim
them. ' - ''--
In short, became convinced that jerks was
waiting very impatiently for me to assert NV
rights IN the property. 1t happened that sew
et4I OF the party were sitting opposite me at
dinner who were present when this singular
bargain was made and they all urged me To
taSe the "hlskers that very day, and thus CON-
Pei jerks 70 go 10 the ball whiskerless OR stay
at home. l agreed with them it wa about time
10 reap my crop, and promised that if they all
"ould meet me at the brokers' shop where the
purchase had been made would make a call
on jerks that evening after he had dressed for
the ball All promised TO be present at the
proposed sharEHg operation in the broker Of
hce, and L sent for jerks and the barber On
The appearance Of jerks, il was evident he was
much Ye1ed at the sudden call upon him. and
MS Ee1auOn was certainly not lessened when he
ca" the brokers office was filled 10 oyerhoying
by spectators anxious 10 behold the barbarous
proceeding.
Come, be in hurry, t" he said. as he took
seat and leaned his head against the couuter
FOR support, Il can't stay here long; several
ladies are waiting for me 10 escort them to the
ball" " N-'O
True, very true--you are one Of the man.
sgers-I recOllect Mr.. Barber. don't detain
the gentleman-gO 10 work at once
The latherlng was soon over, and with about
three strokes Of the razor, one side of he's face
Icas depTirsd Of ats ornament
Come, come, " said jerks, "push ahead
have his whiskers-he is impatient"
Not at al, - 1 replied, coolly, " I'm in no
sort Of hurry myself-and now 1 think of il,
as your time must be precious at this particu-
lar time, several ladies being in waiting for you
to escort them TO the ball, | believe III not
take tie other tchIsker tonight"
A loud laugh from the by-standers and a
glance IN the mirror, caused jerks 10 open his
eyes to the ludierous appearance he cut with a
single whisker, and he began to insist upon my
taxing the whole Of my property. But all
chose; was not obliged to take all at once !:
and chose to take but half at that particular
period-indeed intimated 20 him yerv nIainIv
that was not going to be a very hard credi-
TOR; and that IT he = behaved himself" per-
haPs should never call for the balance of what
he owed me
When jerks became convinced was deter
mined not to take the remaining whisker, he
began, amidst the loudly expressed mirth OF