Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1857-02-12
rEV VENING STAR.
MAJOR JOS JONES WEDDING
From Major jones' Courtship."l
Feb

fINESVlLLE, Feb =, IS.
To Mr.. Thompson-Dear Sir Ever sense
writ my last letter to you things is gone or
just as strait as shingle, and the only thing
that troubles me is, IN fraid it's all too good
| to last. It's always been the way with me
ever sense L can remember, whenever T. N the
| bappyest, sumthing seems to turn up Jest To
upset all my calculations. and now, though
| the day is sot for the weddin, and the Stall
lionses is getting everything reddy as fast as
they can, wouldn't be sprised much if some
bominable thing was to happen, some yearth-
| quake or something jest bust it all up agin,
| though should hate il monstrous.
| Old Miss Stations red that piece in the Mis-
| cellany bout the mistake in parson Miller 6
| fgers, and 1 do believe she's as glad bout it
| as if she was sure she would live q whole
! thousand years more herself She ses she
| haint got no objections 10 the weddin now, for
me and Mary will have plenty of time TO
make fOrtin for our children and raise 'em
| up as they ought to be She ses she always
wondered how Mr.. Miller could cifer the thing
out SO straight to the very day, without sin
| gle mistake, but now he's made sich terrible
| blunder of a whole thousand years, she ses she
| knows he aint no smarter nor other people, If
| he was raised at the north.
| It's really surprisin how main popular it
does make body to be engaged to be mar
| rled to butiful young lady Sense the things
leaked out, every bOdy's my ticker friend
| and cant meet nobody wherever 1 60, but
what wants to gratilate me on my good fortin,
cept cousin Pete and two or three other fell
| lers, who look sort o. like they wanted TO
| laugh and couldn't Almost every night Mary
and me is invited to a party Tother night
We went to one to old Squire Rogerses, whar
L got my dander up little the worst I've had
it for some time. / don't believe you've ever
hearn of jest sich fool trick as they played
on me Their was good many thar, and as
the Squire don't allow dancin, they all PLAYED
games and tricks, and such foolishness to pass
away the tlEle, which to my notions boDina-
bic site worse than dancin.
Cousin Pete was there splurging bout in his
biggest, and with his dandy cut trOwsers and
big whskers, and tried to take the shine off of
every body else, jest as he always dose. Well,
bimeby he ses,
"SpOss we play brother Bob-lct's play
"Yes, lets play that" ses all of EN-, "wont
you be brother Bob, Major 9''
"W hos brother Bob p ses L, for | didn't
know nothing bout it, and that's the way /
cum be so bOminably tuck in.
81 tell you" ses he, "you and somebody
else must set down in the chairs and be blind
folded, and the rest must all walk round and
round you, and keep tapping you on the head
with sonethin, till you guess who bobbed
you
''But how bob mel'' ses [.
why" ses /, "when any one taps you,
you must say, brother I'm bobbed and then
they'll ak who bobbed you and if you guess
the rite one, then they must take your place
and be bobbed till they guess who bobbed EN-.
If you'll be blindfolded, will, - ses he "jest
for fun
"WclI," ses L, anything for fun - and
Cousin Pete sOt out two chairs iato the middle
Of the room, and we sot down, and they tied
Handkerchief round my eyes rs tight as the
mischief, so couldn't see 70 guess 10 more n
If l had no eye at all
/ hadn't sot no time fore cawhaIux some
one TUX me rite side o. the head with drafted
big book The fire flew out o. my eyes in il
live Goals and like to keeled over out o. the
chair L felt my blood risin' like a mill-tail,
but they all laughed nightly at the fun, and
after a while ses /. Brother, I'm bObbed |
Who bObbed you p ses they L guessed the |
bggest-fsted feller in the room, but it wasn't |
him The next minnit spang went the book |
agin Cousin Pete's head. 'Whew!' ses he,
Brother, I'm bobbed - But Cousin Pete
didn't guess rite, nuther, and the fust thing 1 |
know'd whang they tux me agin | was dred- |
ful anxious TO guess rite, but it was no use; [ |
missed it every time, and SO did Cousin Pete /;
a1d the harder they hit the harder they
laughed One time they hit me O great deal
easier than the rest Brother, IN bobbedn
ses L. Who bobbed yOu?' ses they. miss |
Mary Sheldon ses l. No, 1 never ses she,
anu lDey all TOdTeu out worse nan ever.
81 begun 10 git mOnstrOus tired of sich fun
which seemed so much like the frogs in the
spellin' bOok-fOr it was deth to me-and | |
don't know what l would have done if Mary
hadn't come up and omitted the Handkerchief
"' Let's play something else,' ses she and
her face was red as fire, and she looked sort
O. mad out Of her eyes
81 seed ther was something wong in q min.
nit.
"Well, they all went on playin' 'pawns
and pom honor, and here we 20 round the
goOse6eITy bush, and %, sister Feby, how
merry We be- and sieh nonsense, till they
played al they knowed; and when they was
playin' Mary told me how Cousin Pete bob'd
me himself.
1t was the most oudacious takein l ever
heard Of. Do you think he didn't set rite
down beside me and never blirdfolded him
self, and hit me every lick himself, now and
then hittin' his knee with the book to make
me b'lieve he was bob'd too My he'd was a
singin' with the licks when she told me how
he done me, and do believe if it hadn't ben
for her I'd gin cousin Pete sch a lickin rite
thar in that room as he never had afore in his
born days. Blazes! but L was mad at fust
But Mary begged me not to raise 10 fus about
1t, now it was all over, and she would fix him
for his smGrtness. I hadn't no sort Of ide
how she was gwine to do it, but knowed she
was enuf for cousin Pete any time, so I Jest
lel neT 20 dASau. hell, sue luck the b0mlna-
bic fool off to one side and whispered to him
like she was gwine to let him into the secret
She told him bout a new play what she
learned down to Macon when she was at the
college, called |" Introduction to the King and
Queen" what she said was CRATE deal fun
nyer than brother Bob" and swaded him
to help to git 'em all to play.
After she and him made it all up, cousin
Pete put out three chairs close together in a
roe for throne, and Mary she put a sheet
over 'em to make EN- look little grand Bill
Byers was to be King and Mary was to be the
Queen.
Now you must all come in tOther room,''
ses cousin Pete, "only them what belongs to
the court, and then you must be introduced,
one at q time !"
& amt gyine, ses Tom Stations, for there's
some trick in it"
No there aint," ses cousin Pete, "Tll give
you my word there aint no trick, only a littls
fun"
Well" ses /, Is had fun enough for one
Mite"