Nebraska advertiser., 1857-10-15
Miscellaneous.


which leads from a vain world to the
of the new Jerooselem, and my
text which shilI choose fur the occa-
sion is in the lids of the Bible some
WHARF between the second Chronicills
and the last chapter of Timothy Titus.
And when you find it you Will find it
in these words: "And they shall
gnaw file and fee into the mountains
of Hepzidam, where the lion roareth
aad the whang-doodle mourneth for its
first born" Now, my breethering, as
l have before told you, l am an uned-
icated man, and don't know nothin'
about grammar talk and collidge hifa-
lutin, but I'm a plain, unlarnt preecher
of the Gospil what's been foreordained
and called to expound the Scriptures
to dying world and save pervarse
generation from the day of wrath fur
''they shiIl gnaw file and flee unto
the mountains of Hepzidam, WHARF the
lion rOareth and the whang-doodle
mourneth for its first born"
My beloved breethering, the tex says
they shill gnaw a file-it don't say they
mag, but they shiL; and now there's
more than one kind of file-thare's the
handsaw file, rat tail file, single file,
double file, and profile; but the kind Of
file spoken of here isn't one of them
kind neither, but the kind of file spo-
ken of here is fgger of speech, my
dear breethering, and means going it
alone and Citing ukered; fur "they
shill gnaw a file and fee unto the noun
tains of Hepzidam, WHARF the lion roar
eth and the whang-doodle mourneth
for its frst-born."
And now there be some here with
fine close on thare backs, brass rings
On thare fingers, and lard on thare har,
what goes it while they're young; and
thare be brothers here what, as long as
thare constitutions and forty cent
whisky lasts, goes it blind; and thare
be sisters here what, when they git
about sixteen years old, cut thare til
ler ropes and go it with rush; but !
say, my dear breethering, take care
you don't find, when Gabriel plays his
last trump, that you've all went it alone
and got ukered; fur "they shill gnaw
a file and flee unto the mountains OF
Hepzidam, WHARF the lion roareth and
the whang-doodle mourneth fur its
frst-born."
And, my breethering, thare's more
dams besides Hepzidam. Thare's Rot
terdam, Haddam, Amsterdam, mill
dam, and don 't-care-a-dam-the last
of which, my dear breethering, is the
worst of all, and reminds me of cir
cumstance | once knowed of in the State
of Illinoy. Thare was man what
built him a mill on the east fork OF
Agur crick, and it was a good mill and
ground a sight of grain; but the man
what bdilt it was miserable sinner,
and never give anything to the church.
and my dear breethering, one night
thare come a great storm of wind and
rain, and the fountains of the great
deep was broken up, and the waters
rushed down and swep that mans mil
dam into kingdom come, and 10, and
behold! when he got up in the morn
ing he found it wasn't worth a damn
Now, my dear breethering, when the
storms of temptation overtake you
{ take care that you don't fall from grace
and become ike that mans mill-dan
not worth damn; fur 'they shil
gnaw file and fee unto the noun
tains of Hebzidam, WHARF the lion roar,
eth and the whang-doOdle mournetl
for It's frst-born."
"Whare the lion roareth and th'
whang-doodle mourneth for its first
born" This part of the tex, my dear
breethering, is anotherf fgger Ofspeech
and isn't to be taken as it says. l
doesn't mean the bowling wilderness
where John the hardshell Baptist wa
fed on locuses and wild asses, but i
means, my dear brccthering, the city
of New Yorleans, the mother of harloti
and hard lots--whare corn is worth si1
bits a bushel one day and nary red til,
next-Whare niggers are as thick a