Mineral Point tribune. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1854-1858, 1857-11-03
u ariFtr

! r| why is young woman like a
due till?
Because she ought to be settled as soon
as she comes to maturity.
gss5@ a raw Irishman on his first SIGHT
of a locomotive, declared, :. lis steam
boat hunting for wather."
Ba&@ y Western paper states that a
/ horse and wagon were drowned in the
Ohio, last week, They had hard time
of il, especially the wagon
E3- There is a young lady up town.
who says, that If a cart-wheel has nIne
fellows, it Is pity if a woman can't have
one, Sensible girl. that-so we think.
\ VIOLENT JokE.-The Lynn Forum
sayS:-"The use of a bass vioI in the
churches is bass-viol-ation of the Sab
bath.
rs Why is a vain young lady ike a
confirmed drunkard? Because neither
Of them is satisfied with moderate use
of the glass.
E25@ The best way to decipl;ne ones
heart against scandal is to believe air
stories 10 be false which ought not to be
true.
E~E@ IN great storm al sea. when
the ships crew were all ,nrs,,,o IS a boy
burst into a fl, Of laughter; being reproy-
ed for lis ilI-timed mirih, and asked the
reason Of it, said:
" Why, | was laughing to think what
a Kissing the boa,swains red nose will
make when it comes into the water"
Coon ADvIcE TO ALL.-Profane
swearing IS abominable.
Vulgar language is disgusting.
Loud laughing is impollte.
IuqulSIuveneSs is offensive.
Tattling is mean
Telling lies Is contemplate.
Siandering IS devilish.
Ignorance IS disgraceful.
Laziness is shameful.
Avoid all the above vices and aim at
usefulness.
This is the road in which to become
respectable. Walk in it:
Never be ashamed of honest labor.
Never act the hypocrite.
+ Keep good company.
Speak the truth at all times.
"THE Law or THE FISGER-RING.-
If Il gentleman wants Il wife he wears n
ring on the left hand; if he is engaged,
he wears it on the second finger; if mar
ried on the third; and on the fourth if
he never intends to get married. When
a lady is not engaged, she wears dia-
mond ring on her first finger-if enga-
ged, on the second; if married, on the
third; AID on the fourth, if she intends
TO be maid. When a gentleman pre-
sentS a fan, a flower or a trlnket, to a la
dv with the left hand, this, on his part, is
an overture of regard, should she receive
it with her left hand, 1t is considered as
an acceptance OF his esteem, but if with
the right hand, it is refusal of the offer.
Thus, by a few simple tokens explained
by rule, the passion Of love is expressed" :"
MAJOR Moan on MARRIAGE.-The
late veteran of the press, NJ. NJ. Noah,
held racy pen, which threw off spark
ling paragraphs with as much ease, - as
the hon shakes the dew drops from his
name !" The following Is one of them:
:" We like short courtships, and in this
Adam acted like a sensible man-he fell
asleep bachelor and awoke TO find HIM
SELF q lldITiSd itldI- IlG dppcdIS ~ AASl' Z
popped the question almost immediately
after meeting Md'lIe Eve, and she with
out any filtration or shyness, gave him Il
kiss and herself. OF that first kiss in this
world we have had, however, our own
thoughts; and sometimes In poetlcal
mood, lave wished we were the man
= what did It" But the deed was done,
the chance was Adams, and he improved
it. We like the notion of getting mar
ried IN a garden. Il is in good taste
We like a private wedding. Adams
was private. No enyious beaux were
t there; no croaking Old maids; 40 chat.
ing aunIs and grumbling grandmolhers
The birds of heaven were the minstrels
and the glad sky flung its light upon he
scene.
1 One thing about the first wedding bring
: queer things to US, in spite Of its Scriptur
al truth. Adam and his wife were rath
J. er young to be married-some two o
1 three days old, according to the sages
speculations of theologians-mere bable
larger but not older-without expert
v ence-without a house-without pot o
: kettle-nothing but love and Eden.