The River Falls journal. (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1857-1861, 1857-12-09
WOMAN !.

This subject would become hackneyed
and trite, did she not discover new and
enhanced attractions at the advent of
each new fashion plate. On the present
occasion we do not propose 10 write an
extended eulogy, but brief and truthful
essay.
Woman has been called bird; but
we never knew one to fly, except into a
passion Some have even gone SO far as
to call her an angel. This, we feel it in
cumbent ON us to state, is not SO. 1t is
pure spluree. She has no wings. Be-
sides, how would an angel look with ear
rings, finger rings, frying pan bonnets,
and hogshCad hoops! Who ever dream
ed of an angel with her hair done up in
papers, and decorated with flaming red
ribbons? Rejected lovers sometimes call
her riddle. Marriage would soon afford
them solution. She has been styled a
flower. This comes nearer the truth.
Like the harebell is her pretty mouth, in
point of name only. The difference is
simply that the mouth keeps ringing, and
the flower don't. She shrinks and pales,
like the sensitive plant, if you say legs in
stead of ertremities. Like the rose, she
is lovely when in full bloom, that is, when
cologne and verm:llion are "selling at
cost" Of late years she has been cult
waited, however, so as most to resemble a
very white livered museroon.
Womankind in general constitutes a
sort Of grabbing. You thrust your hand
into the sack, you 90 it blind; and if you
don't get the sack itself, you get a wax
doll, a sugar heart, rattle box, or paste
board snake. You ventured $4,000 for
the grab, and in return, you get--sold.
Mind now, we are speaking Of the nine
teenth century clothes horse females, who
can gable bad French and worse Eng
lish, and who seem to say with the rivu-
let,
q chatter, chatter, as flow
To join the trimming river,
For men may come and men may go,
But / go on forever"
Coquettes have been severely basted by
poets and novelists from time immemo-
rial, but all to no effect, since, in nine
cases out of ten, the lady doesn't realize
that she comes under that head, until she
has driven a dozen lovers to cold bath,
and herself to the dreadful alternative of
being yclept spinster, OF yoked in odious
nuptials to man Of fifty, whose only I'M
encumbered property is wig and a set
of false teeth. Erstwhilc she was not
visible to the naked eye of those who could
not sport q plug tile, rattan, superb
moustacAe and magnificent turn out.
And while scanning her through our
glass we have been constrained to exclaim
with the poet,
Twinkle, twinkle, little STAR
How you wonder what | are.'
But there isanother class of true ladies,
who are not bought up as h1sus naturoe
ct arts, but simply as human flesh and
blood. Who do not despise grammar,
nor any solid attainments-who do not
look upon slight of hand in crotche work
and piano tinkling, as the ne plus ultra
Of accomplishments, the art above and
comprising arts. Give us such ladies'
ladies who do not look upon love as vul-
gar, nor upon bread as too vile for their
delicate dig;ts.
In fine, we agree with Addison, and
ere giving his sentiment, we premise that
these structures were called forth by 'spe-
cial request Of many citizens" Addison
says:
"Of earthly goods the best is good wife
A bad, the bitterest curse of human life"
State Journal.