Bellevue gazette. [volume] (Bellevue City, N.T. [i.e. Neb.]) 1856-1858, 1857-07-30

ev'ry fashun she hears tell on, from bus
sils to briChes. Oh she's one of 'em,
and sometimes she's two or three. Well,
ye see, I'd got sum homemade cotton
truck to make new shut outen, and
coaxed Belts tu make it, and about the
time it wur dun, here comes LAWYER
Johnson along an axed fur breakfus-I
wish it had pizened him, durn his hied,
an wonder it didn't fur she cooks awful
mixens when she trys. I'm pizen proof,
myself, (holding up his flask and peeping
through it, ur I'd been dead long ago.
DWELL, while he wur eatin', she sped
out that his shut was stiff an nifty slick !;
so she nener rested till she wormed it out
Ell MIN that a preparation of -four did it.,
an she got few particulars about the
proceedings tn, outen him by 'oman's art
Il don't know how she did it, perhaps
he does. Arter he left, she sot in an
billed big pot owe paste, high on TO
peck owe 1t, an souzed in my shut an let
it soak awhile then she tuck it in an
ironed it out fiat an dry, an sot it up on
its aidge again the cabin in the sun.
Than it stood as stiff as dry hoss hide,
an it ra,tled like sheet owe iron, il did.
1t wur pasted tugether all over. When
| cum tu dinner, nulhn' wud du but /
must put it on. Well, Bets an me got
the thing open arter sum hard work, she
pulling at one of the tails an me at tuth-
er, an got into it. Durn the everlastin'
new tangled shut, say. felt like I'd
crawled inter an old bee gum and fit full
of pisanis; but it were like LAWYER
Johnson's, an stud it like man, an
went to work TO build Bets ash-hopper.
worked powerful hard an SWEET like
a hoss, an when the shut got wet it quit
its hurtin'. Arter | got dun, | tuck about
four fingers owe red head, an crawled up
into the cabin loft tu take a snuse.
Well, when | walked up, thought
was dead, or had the cholery, for all the
jints cud muve were my ankles, wrists
and knees-oudn't even muve my head,
an skasely wink my eyes-the cussed
shut war pasted fast onto me all over,
from the pint owe the tails tu the pint owe
the broad-ax collars over my years. 1t sot
me as cIost as a poor COW dus her hide in
March. | squirm'd an strain'd till got
it sorter broke at the shoulders and elbows,
an then dun the durndest fool thing
ever did in these mountains. shuffed
my britches of an tore lose frum my
hide about two inches owe the tail all
around, in much pain an tribulation.
Oh but it did hurt. Then / tuck up a
plank ou,en the loft, an hung my legs
down thru the hole an nailed the aidge
owe the frunt tail to the aidge of the floor
before, an the hind tail l nailed TO the
plank what set on. onbuttoned the
collar and ristbands, raised my hands
way up abuv my head, shut my eyes, said
grace, an jump; thru to tho groun' hoor.
Here Snt ruminated sadly.
"George, I'm durnder fool than ever
dad was, Hess, Hornets and all. I'll
drownd myself sum owe these days, see
eff don't"
We'll, go on, Sut, did this shr; come Off
observation-disclosures. /
heara noise, sor,er like tarin' shingle
ruff owe house, all at onst, an felt like
my CUTS an bones wur all that reached
the fiure. / staggered TO my feet an
tuck luck up at the shut. The nails
had all hilt thar holt, an thar il wur
hangin' arms down, inside out, an as
stiff as ever. Ii looked like a map of
Mexico list artef one owe the wurst bat
tles-a patch of my hide about the size
owe dollar an half bill here bunch
of my har about the size owe a birds
nest thar; then sum more skin; then
sum paste; then little more har; then
a heap owe skin; then more har; then
skin; an so on all over that burned new
tangled, everlasiin', internal cuSs Of a
shut, 1t wur picture 10 look at-an' so
wur j. The hide, har, an paste wur
about ekeally divided stween me an it.
Wonder what Belts, durn her, the't when
she cum home an foun' me missin'
Specks she thinks | crawled intu the
thicket an died owe my wounds. 1t must
av skared her good, fur | tell you il look
ed, like the skin owe sum wild beast torn
off alive, or bag what had kerried a
load owe fresh beef frum a shootin' match.
Now, George, eff ever l ketch that
Lawyer Johnston out I'll shoot him, an
eff ever an oman talks about fat'nin'
shut fur me Igin', darn my everlasiin'
picture ef don't fauen her. It's rit-
rlbutior, sartln, the biggest kind owe
preachers regular rit-ribution. Du you
mind my drivin' owe dad thru that ho'net's
nest, an then racin' owe him inter the
kreekl"
"Yes."
"Well, this is what Gums owe il. I'll
drown myself sum owe these days, see eff
| don't, eff don't die from that orful shut.
Take horn, an don't you ever try
sticky shut as long as you live.'-.Nash-
ris' Union,