The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1857-08-25
From Harpers Weekly.
Nothing to Wear.
AN EPISODE or CITY LIFE.

AN EPISODE or CITY
Miss Flora MFlimsey, of Madison Square,
Has made three separate journses to Paris,
And her father me- each time she as there,
That she and her friend Mrs. Harris,
mot the lady whose name is so famous IN history,
But plain Mrs. H., without romance or mystery)
Spent six consecutive weeks without stopping,
In continuous round of shopping;
Shopping alone, and shopping together,
Al oil hours of the day and in all sorts ofweather.
For all manner of things that woman can put
On the crown of her head or the sole OF her foot.
Or wrap round her shoulders, fit round her waist
Or that can be sowed on, or pinned on. or laced,
Or tied on with a string, stitched ON with a bow,
In front or behind, above OF below: .
For bonnets mantillas, capes, collars and shawls;
Dresses for breakfast, and dinners, and balls
Dresses to sit in, and stand in and walk in;
Dresses To dance in, and hirt in, and talk IN;
Dresses in which to do nothing at ell;
Dresses for winter, spring, summer and fall
All of them different in color and pattern,
Silk muslin, and lace, Grape, velvet, and satin,
lrocade and broadcloth and other material,
Quite expensive and much more ethereal
!nshort, for all things that could ever be thought OIL
Or milliner, MODESTO, or tradesman be bought oi -
From ten-thousand- franc robes 60 twenty.sous frs
In all quarters of Paris, and to every store,
While Nj flimsey in VAIN storned, scoded ana sWore
They footed the streets, and he footed the bills
The last trip, their goods shipped by the steamer
! Formed MFlimsey declares, the bulk of her cargo
| Not to mention quantity kept from the rest,
! Sufficient to ill the largest sized chest,
| Which did not appear on the ships manifest,
| But for which the ladies' themselv manifested
! Such particular interest, that they invested
| Their own proper persons in layers and rows
| OF muslins embroideries worked under-clothes,
Gloves scarfs and such tres as these
Then, wrapped in great shawls, like Cicassian
beauties
Gave good by to the ship snd good-by to the duties
Her relations at home all marvelled no doubt,
| Miss Flora hnd grown sc enormously stout
For an actual belle and possible bride;
| But the miracle ceased when she turned inside out
And the truth camo to light and the dry-goods be-
sides,
Which in spite Of collector and Custom-house sentry
IInd enterd the port without any entry.
And yet though scarce three months have passed
since the day lway,
This erc handise went on twelve carts, up Broad
This same Miss M'flmsey Of Madison Square
The last time we met. was in utter despair,
Because she had nothing whatever to wear!
NOTHING TO wEAR Now as this is true dltty,
| do not assert-this you know, is between us
That shr : IN "a state of absolute nudity.
Like Powers Greek Slave, the Medici Venus:
Bet Jo mean To say. that nave heard her declare,
When al the same moment. she mad on a dress
Which cost ilNe hundred dollars nnd not cent less
Aud jewelry worth ten times more, should guess
That she had not thing IN the vide World to wear!
should mention just here, that out Of Miss Fora's
'rvo hundred and fifty or .iyty adorrrs,
had Just been selected ua Ec wlo should throw All
The rest the shade, by the gracious bcstowal
On myself, after twenty DIRTY reflections, tons
or those fossil remains which she called, her alice
And that rather decaye ed, bot well known work ofar
Which Miss Flora persisted Iu styling ucr heart
So we are engaged. Our tro'h lad been piistted
Not by mo, nbeam starbean, - iulutasu or grove
But in n front parloi, most brilliantly lighted.
| Beneath the gas fixtures we whispered our love.
Withouta any romance, or rapture, or signs,
Without any tears IN Miss Flora's blue eyes,
Or bushes, or transports. or such silly actions,
II was 81 lAe letest business transactions,
With very small spdnkling Of sentiment, if any,
And u very Ugce diamond imported By Tiffany
On her vEsnh rs while printed a kiss,
She exclaimed IN sort OF parenthesis,
And by way OF putting me quite ut my ease,
, "You know that am TO polka as much us please.
. And firt when like-now stop, don't you speak
And you must not come here more than twice III
week
Or talk to me either at party or ball,
But alv ays be ready to come when call
So don { prose to me about duty and stufI,
five don't break this off, there will be time enoug
For that sort of thing; but the bargain must be
That, as long as choose, | am perfectly free,
For this is Il sort Of engagement, you see,
$ Which is binding you but not binding on me-"
} Well having thus wcoed Miss M'Flimsey and game
> her, [Le
With the silks, crinolnes and hoops that contane
! had as thought, "a contingent remainder,
At least in the property. and the best right
- To appear its escort by day and by night
And ii being tie week OF the stuckpps grand ball
Their cards had been out IA fortnight or so,
10 And set all the Avenue on the tip-toe-
II considered il only my duty TO call.
And if Miss Flora intended TO go.
! found her as ladies' are apt to be found,
When the time intery ening between the first sound
H. OF the bell and the visitors entry is shorter
le Than usual-I won't say caught her
N Intent on the pier-gass, undoubtedly meaning
~ ~ To see if pc shaps it didn't need cleaning.
Vi She turned as l Ientered-"Why Harry, you sinner
thought you went TO the Flashers' to dinner
- $50 did" replied, 'but the dinner is swallowe
And digested, trust, for it's now nine or MORE
SO being relieved from that duty, followed
Inclination which led me, you see. to your door.
II And now will your Iaalyship so condescend
- As lust TO inform me if You intend
st Your beauty, and grnces, and presence to lend,
h (All which when own, hope no one will borrow
o. To the Stuckups whose party, you know is to-m'
u row."
S Sy The fair Flora looked up with pltul air, lem
And answered quito promptly, Why HARRY, Nj
should like above all things to go With you there;
s. But really aad trnly-Fye nothing to wear"
to Nothing to wcarl GO just you are
m Wear the dress you have on and you he by far,
CIV engage. the most bright and particular star
~ ON the Stuckup horiZon--I stopped for her eye,
ch Notwithstanding this delicate onset OF iinttery,
or Opened on me Mt once most terrible battery
OF scoIn and ama2ement. She made no reply,
.od But gave a slight turn to the end of her nose
iof THAT pure Grecian feature, ne much as TO saw
GLOW absurd ttnt any man hould suppose
- That a lady would 60 60 ball in the clothes,
49,, No matter how fine, that she wears every dayF
49,, So ventured again---'Wear you crimson brocad
ms (Second turn upof sel-''Thats too dark b,
~ hadC."
r.o 'Your blue silk"-"Tnats SO heavy ''Your rir
tbe THAT'S too light"
,h Weartulle over sntin".'I can't endure white
'Your colofed, ther, the best of the batch!'-
~ hnvn't n thread of point lace to match
,uo i'"I onotnr Tdress-ma
ION @lon The pearl-colored'-"I would but that plag
IN Ilns had it a yseek'-"Then that exquisite lilac
L. In which yor would melt tho heart OF Shylock
= lIere the nose took again the same olevaton)
- IL wouldn't wear that for the whole Of creation
.Why not? les my fan.y, there's nothing CO