Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1857-02-26
DIED WITHOUT LIVING.

Mr.. Paul Legrand, who died at Dion,
burgundy, at tho age of seventy, leaves the
following memoir, whereby he proves nc has
not lived: .... .
All that is suffering, sorrow, ennui, des.
pair, desire, regret, should be deducted from
life, because We should ourselves have de-
Quoted it, had heaven permitted. When
three years old I was weaned; at six I could
speak badly; at seven I split my skull; at
nine was cured. I must, therefore, extract
nine years from my existence; for surely to
drink nurses sour milk, not to speak, or
badly, and to split ones skull, is not living
At the age of nine began my studies.-
Owing to my cracked skull, my head was
hard one, and I proved stubborn to tuition.
I required two years labor to spell the al
phabct. I was indebted to letter Zalone for
about fourscore hundred lashes; the other
twenty-three letters made a complete martyr
of me.
At the age of twelve I could read, but my
body was mangled with alphabet scars. An
attempt was made to teach me Latin, and |
lost my French in the experiment. At ff-
teen 1 knew nothingat all, and forced diet
of bread and water had reduced me to the
condition of skeleton. Six years more
had therefore to be deducted. At sixteen
my father made me notary's clerk. There
commenced new species of martyrdom. l
got up at six, swept the office, lighted the
stove, was drubbed by the taller clerks, and
my father, overwhelmed with complaints a.
bout me, deprived me of my dinner. This
life 1 led for FIVE years, and from life I will
positively deduct them.
At twenty, my father, quite disguised with
his son, put me on board ship at Chebourg.
1 washed the decks, climbed up the top mast,
mended the sails, and received thirty lashes
day upon my back. This was endured for
four years. At twenty-four, my father made
me haberdasher. married Mademoiselle
Ursule Devousins, turner's daughter; her
portion consisted of 80, ,000livres, mortgaged
upon sugar estate at St. Domingo. The
day after the wedding found that my wife
had wooden leg, made by my father-id-law
the turner. The poor woman made thous-
and apologies for her infrmity, and l par
doned her out of regard to hermarriage por-
tion. The St. Domingo blacks rose against
the whites, burnt the marriage portion, and
the wooden leg was all that was left to me.
At thirty lost my wife in consequence
of scrofulous disease. spent six years
of marriage repenting every minute. I
therefore deduct these six years from my life.
Having, as everybody else, slepta third part
of my life, I deduct twenty-four years of
sleep, and am below the right reckoning, for
1 was a great sleeper. A year lost, adding
minute to minute, in searching for the keys
of my desk, which I was constantly mislay-
ing. Does one live when one looks for a
key? Three years lost in having myself
shaved, powdered, &C., five years in suffer-
ing toothache, infammations Of the chest,
with relapses and convalescence.
Three years lost in saying "What's o.
clock ?" awe have bad weather to-day )"
show do you do ?" "how is your lady?" 81
have bad cold" Marlborough sen vat-en
guerre-what mud in the street-What a
winter this year! Six months lost in having
the mud brushed off one, and six in brush
ing ones hat. One year of endurance Of
the entire acts of theatre. One year lost in
listening to the modern dramas, the ch'ef'd
eyurc Of genius not understood. One year
lost in complaining Of salt and tasteless soups,
of outlets too much or too undone, of indi-
gestion of hard eggs. Total, seVenty-one
years. I beg leave to declare that in giving