True American. [volume] (Steubenville [Ohio]) 1855-1861, 1857-03-25
me MODEL EditoFe.D+

? Az AhAV0SA ~~NANNSNS ~
/ Gets up at five o'clock in the morning;
kisses his wife and the babies all ronnd;
and sets himself althe table, after wash
ing and shaving in cold water, with
smiling counlenance- unless his lips ate
chapped. Complains that the bread is
too light and deliclons, and the coffee. SO
delectable tbatit shall have a puff in his
paper. Eats everything with good relish
and compliments his wife several times
during the meal. Bids her an affection
ate good bye, and with another kiss all
round, goes with,a light heartto his Of
fee. Apologies to his Office boy because
there is no fire-likewise smilingly in,o
forms him that the office has not been
swept. Takes it very kind Of the Office
boy not to be saucy in reply. Sends for
his exchanges, and lays them obligingly
open on table, for the use Of his friends
and the public generally. His clerk tell
him he has madesa little mistake, by
which the Office will lose hundred dol
lars, Editor blandly requests him not to
do itagain, as it is inconvenient to lose
money. Devil calls for copy Editor
hands him the package Of Model contrib.
utor,' tied up with blue ribbon devil
pockets the ribbon, and tells him he is
green Editor pockets the insult Musi1
cal director calls to know if the editor
will transfer.a puff Of six columns, anu
accept q ticket at half price, Editor
obligingly remarksthat he shall be hap
py to do SO. Musical director wants to
know ifhe will write puffofthe concert,
beforehand editor intimates that he shall.
be happy to do SO, Musical director
would like him TO furnish one hundred
and sixty copies of the papers. editor says
he shall be happyio doso. Musical d.
rector wishes to know if he will loan him
his desk, pen, ink, and paper, and Q pos;
tage stamp polite editors intimates chat
he shall be happy to do so, (by standing
up three quarters ofan hour, while musi-,
cal editor writes six letters and endea-
voring to read paper upside down: Mus,
ical director takes his leave with three
bows, the last one nearly overturningsaa
lady whoois entering the door.s Lady,
bushes and looks very interesting, sits.
down and takes out her handkerchief,
Lady prepares to cry, and editor becomes
sympathetic. Lady says she has lost
her all, and has six children besidesy de-
pendent on her exertions. Editor feels
fatherly. Lady declares that she can
work at nothing else but writing, and
takes out manuscript five yards long,
(good measurement letting fall few
tears, as she asks if editor will correct all,
mistakes. Editor says, rGerlaihly-;'
and tries to read, but cannot, because
there is not a capital letterjn the Ms. In
fact, he sees at first that it is not cspi-
tai thing, but can't bear to hurt her feel
; ings. Lady relieves herself by few
more tears, and asks the editor if he can
advance a few dollars for her immediate
wants. Editor says he shall be happy
to, and pays the money ,oyer.d Lady
dissolves in tears, and editor places MS.
on the FIRE. ~
; The model editor reads his exclianl
ges-if any are left by noon-apatiendy.
Like man diving down through the
ocean to find a solitary pearl, so he dives
into the sea Of ink, to find solitary idea;
and when found, ,--he adopts it. Nobo-
dy is going to hunt through five hundred
/, exchanges, to see il he has read it before.
While he is thus engaged, he divides his
|. attention between two politicians, four
! luns, twenty new subscribers, sixteen
! stoppages; three moral lreformers, six
Irish womena who wants toirwash the
windows, fourleandy girls, ,.thresD apples
4 men, three beggars six, applicaiious, for
work, fifteen contributors, loty. letters,
two bank notices, four advertisers, thir.
j teen calls for more copy, Eve visits from
;. the foreman, 10 find out, adoubtinl word,
! one complimentary visit from,a country
!, cousin, one call from lecturer, two sp.
I plicants fot husbands. three agents for a
! new pictorial, the publisher Of the direct
: ory' nine boys with new music, and six
! recent volumes, besides any, .numberbo Of
J. acquaintance, requesting the loan Of an
I, exchange.
: Model editor feels hungry three hours
! ! after dinner time, and concludes to eat
\ something. Goes to an eating house
= ! calls for turtle soup, and after he has I'M
! > ished discover. brass lhinble at the
= bottom. a f3gel F'A y Hit
4, 4 Concludes togo home and calls ipA
" half aday allround. .--Oiine Branch. aaa