Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1857-07-17
humorous.

.&.4s Bninorolls.
re- Flattery is like champagne, it
soon gets into the head. Beware OF 1t.
Ry- A slanderer,of the softer sex I'M
dcrtakes to prove that Satan was wo-
man whose name was Lucy Fir.
Gg- A Yankee editor says he liked to
die lar6n' to see drinkin' chap tryin'
10 pocket the shadow of swinging sign
for pocket handkerchief.
Axy- Mirabeau said of man who was
exceedingly fat, that God created him
only to show to what extent the human
skin would stretch without breaking.
RE- A young lady being asked why
she noun bachelor is singular, replied,
" Because it's very singular they don't
get married"
FIT !" My horse, if you please" said
the wife. "My money bought that
horse" eyes, madam" replied the
husband, bowling, and your money
bought me-"
EE~ We think il is an undeniable
truth that the Africans, let them go to
what part of the world they may, retain
more unequivocally than any other peo-
pie the odor Of nationality.
EF- "Boy," said an ill-tempcred old
fellow to noisy lad, what are you
ho,lerin' for when / am going by 2'-
e'Iumph," returned the boy, "what are
going by for when am holleria' @,
EE- g James, now will hear your
lesson" said schoolmaster to a little
nrchin, who was not in the habit of stu
dying much & eUueth not, thir; daddy
thaith little boys should be theen ana not
heard" s8a aasahaa
re- There are two sorts Of cats. We
doubt the truth of the common saying
that one of them has nine lives, but
many poor fellows back can attest that
the other has nine tails
ESs- General Walker, Of Nicara qua,
is generally considered the most obsti-
nate man of the day. This is not much
to be wondered at when we consider that
Che poor fellow has frequently had to live
upon mule meat. hA
TT In hearing a political candidate
describe the sort of. representative that
he thinks the people ought to have, we
are always amused at the special pains
he 5! seems to be at to draw n exact por-
trait of himself. "a W. 81 saa,
re A young lady at Rochester be-
came very i'll from over exertioniin jump
ing the rope. We have known several
injure themselves seriously by over ex-
ortion in jumping at supposed chances
to get married. 1914
GtT A Judge in Indiana threatened
to fine a lawyer for contempt of court.
81 have expressed no contempt for the
court, said the lawyer, ''on the contra
ryI have carefully concealed my feel
ings." ''n d rrid Is = stiTIs 20
EE- II owe you nothing" said an
undutiful son to his father; $50 far from
having served me, you have always stood
in my way, for if you had never been
born, I should now be the next heir Of
my rich grandfather taa s'aeil
ES- Tom. Halo, Fred, what, you
writing poetry?"
Fred. ayes, I'm writing an owed
(ode) to my tailor" avalg2 wya u
Tom - What's the time and tune p
Fred.--''Time sixty days. It's set to
notes of mine in his possession
Eg oh, Mary, my heart is break
ing" 'Is it, indeed, Mr.. Closeiist p
So much the better for you" "Why
so, my idcl?" ''Because, when it's
broke out-and-out, you may sell off the
pieces for gun-dints." 3paa ials.g
81 sat me down in thought profound,
This maxim wise drew, yeas
1t is easier for to like girl, $50
Than make girl like you."
Eg- a, ragged individual was saluted
few days since by little urchin, thus !:
II say, you, sir, don't you belong to the
army p "Now was the indignant re-
ply. "Well," said the boy, II thought
that you did, as you are out ander arms. :"
Eg Poppy, the corr.'s up" 1.-The
corn up? Why, l only planted it yes
terday," 81 know tlat but the hogs
got in last night, and guy it lift you
hadn't counted on" Scene closes with
grand tableau,a in the midst of which
poppy seizes poker and rushes out.
EY- A gentleman complained to old
Banister that some malicious person had
cut off his horses tail, which, as he
meant to sell him, would DO great
drawbacks. Then" said Charles, '.you
mustsell him Wholesale, Wholesale! !"
says the other, show SO % Because
you cannot retail him."
Rs- The following is a speech made
by the manager Of an Irish theater.-
There were only three persons composing
his audience 44esq VHn 1857
Ladies and gentlemen! as there is
nobody here, III dismiss you all; the
performance of this night will not be
performed; but the performances of this
night will be repeated tomorrow even-
ing" w 2 etFtRlf siiFs
Egr " like YOU" said girl to her
suitor, but ] cannot leave home | am
widows only darling; no husband can
equal my parent in kindness. /" '.She is
kind" replied the wooer, +" but be my
wifeT7we will all live together, and see
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