Spirit of the age. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1849-1865, 1857-09-30
For the Spirit of the Age.
The Liquor Vender.-A PARODY.
Once upon a midnight lonely,
Sat /" liquor vender" Only,
Der a box quaint and curious

Ehth liquor fenuer Oplyy
Der a box : quaint and curious"
W eJuht'us ms
As he counted, nearly mapping,
Snddediy there came n tapping,
As If some customer rapping,
Rapping at his door.
IT'S some loafcr, said be furious,
Rapping at my bar-room door
Wants n drink and nothing more.
Then into his chamber sliding,
His money safely hiding,
For fear some scamp without, abiding,
Might possess his store.
When into his chamber fitting,
Not even once permitting,
Him the closet to get in,
Or to hide behind the door,
Some ghostly friends, (topers Of yore,)
just from the Plutonian shore,
Twas their ghost and nothing more.
Hesitating, he grew stronger,
For he wanted them no longer,
Said he I've made a blunder,
Your forgiveness l implore;
=" But the fact is was mapping"
When you came tapping, tapping,
Tapping at my bar-room door,
And to still has hearts wild beating,
lie stood repeating and entreating
Them to leave his store.
II must be something serious,
Something quite mysterious,
Ny friends or I'm delirious;
And he was frightened sore.
What my friends can be the matter,
And his teeth began to chatter,
And he trembled more and more.
l thought you had gone long before,
What brings you here from Pluto's shore.
Will you leave me now once more
Quoth the " spirits" never more.
&" Much ho marvelPd thus ungainly,
Thus to hear discourse so plainly"
From a ghost and not vainly,
Yet they told him more.
"For we cannot keep agreeing
That no living human being"
Could feel blessed at seeing,
Ghostly friends Of yore.
Still the ~"vender" did implore
His ghostly friends to leave bis store
Yet they groaned never more
Said the Ghost you know as well,
Although we came direct from hell,
1t was your fault, that we feel,
And will haunt you ever more.
Accused wretch, you damnation sold,
To all who came for sordid gold,
And dealt out death, to young and old,
Thus the ghost accused him sore.
Wives and childI EN- you heye made,
Beggars, by your internal trade,
And too long now you've strayed,
From old Pluto's shore.
Said the ghost we caught you mapping,
When we came so gently tapping,
And you thought a loafer rapping,
Rapping at your bar-room door.
The vendors" courage fast was oozing
lie inin would speak some way e%xcusing
His c-nduct heretofore.
Said he my friends I'll sell no more,
If you'll 90 back to Pluto's shore,
And never haunt me no more
Groaued they-never more!
Be that word, our sign of parting"
Said the "vender' then upstarting,
And never let me see you more.
10 your widows I'll money send,
To your orphans I'll be a friend,
Ny course reform and mend,
From what 1T was before.
The "vender" hushed and said no NOR,
His ghostly friend groaned never more.
Although Wei go TO PlutO's shore,
Yet we'll haunt you ever more.
d" So then vixen quest Of evil,
Spirits still though most u~nciyil,
a." Spirits" just from Pluto's shore,
Will not leave him never more.
AT his heart, they are ever tapping,
At his heart tapping, rapping,
And they'll rap ever more.
And he wishes vainly more and NOR
Thst his haunted life was DER,
And though he sells now no moro,
Tor they are tapping ever more.
WILL: WAMPUM,
FL, T.,,tr NJ ~