Semi-weekly standard. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1853-18??, 1857-08-15

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THsTEssrssas seuur or ruE OIDss I'M. There
aeprid nanyyssrs. rs csstain yil.esin the
GOOD Slate Of Tenaessee, N eeceotric klow0hore re-
jsced N thsr ane Of Feter Ixard.g For many years
e billed the impoytant Office known in sarioss parts
& theUnon q Aaeistrates Aldermap, or Josies Of
the Peace The following is . sample Off Squire L.
ards mode Of proceeding:
"A gentleman by the name Of McAurran Was riding
through o., where his horse lost shoe
For replacing it, the blacksmith, whose name vas
Enos Bildo, charged the cool sum Of IN eagle-or,
rather. two sovereigns- Naturally indignant, our
traveller refused to pay snc5 exorbitant demand,
and he was arrested at the suit of the son of Vul
can. .s.s- ear 81 sf...- 81, ts--s q. q
There being no other resource, Mr. McMnrran Va
escorted to the magistrates Office, back of the bar
After being introduced into the most august pres
Of the SQUIRE and the charge stated the follow
ing dialogue occurred:
Well, sir, what is your name"
"McMurrsn, sit"
"Humpb, Mr. McMurran-no other name."
"John McMurran, SIR"
No Mr.. McMurran-no alias :"
"Of course 1 have not, sir have no need o.
one"
"Wberc do you live, Mr.. Carrion?"
"My name amt Carron-I told you it is AcMur-
ran."
"wel1, Mr.. Merton, did you make any bargain for
shoeing your horse?"
"Then, Mr.. Burton, you acted, sir-e1cuse me
like fooll"
81 don't come here to to be insulted, sir, and no
man shall talk so to mel" cried poor Mac.
81 know you did not, Mr.. Fulton-keep silence,
OF I'll fine you-you acted. sir.dont contradict me
like perfect fool and let this be warning, sir,
never to trust such scoundre as Enos Bi:do Qhe
SMITH farther than you can sling bull by the tail,
sir Ito the PLAINTIFF mean you-you skunk
You'd steal the copper off your dead mothers eye,
you poor, no.souled hog.
ri. II: &.
Bildo shall have two dimes for your work. which,
is all it's WORTH and you say another word Ill knock
you down. Clear this court"
Fully satisfied with this verdict, and highly anus
ed with this adventure Mac went on his way.
This way of confoundng names was favorite
hobby of the Squires, and he was an adept in the
art. On one occasion, when he was summoned rs .
witness before State Court of the lawyers I'M
dertook to pay him off in his own coin. When the
Squire took the witness stand, the following dia-
logue occurred:
"What is your name, sir?
"Peter lizard"
"How old are you, Mr. Lizzards"
"My name is Izard-Peter lizard"
IL beg your pardon, Mr.. Gizzard, but I am . lit
tie hard Of hearing this morning"
lizard, sir-Izard."
"Ah, understand Well, Mr.. Buzz.rd, how old
are your"
"Now look here, mister, that's not my name, and
won't answer"
You won't answer my question, Mr.. Trizzle-
Wen set about that! Now, sir, what's your age,
Mr.. Drizzle!"
The witness maintained logged silence.
"Perhaps he had better spell his name for you"
said the court. choking with laughter.
Eye. cried the witness, ''zed.ay-ar-dee!"
Swell, your honor, called him by that name all
along-Weasel!"
ANY fool might know it spells lizard !" shouted
Peter.
May it please the court" iuterposed the attor-
ney, throwing himself up with air Of wounded
dignity, "eithar this witness, Measles, must be
moved or shall withdraw from the Tar.
You rascal !" beloved the Infatuated Peter.
Sheriff. take charge of the witness" cried the
court sitting for moment its mirth, for the only
Der faces in the assemblage those Of the lawyer
and witness.
lyon be hanged!" called out Squire Izard-"you
and the court too you low-lived vagabond!"
"a mittimus to the Jail for three days, and $25
fine" cried the court.
He, the sheriff, came up to Peter to carry him
off,
"Whats my name, Tom ," called the Squire, rs
he was let out.
"Peter lizard, )" was the prompt response.
The following day the Squire was pardoned and
his fine RENTED; but never afterwad did he ven
ture to use the weapon that had been so eectuaiiy
turned on himself.