The day book. [volume] (Norfolk, Va.) 1857-1867, 1857-12-11

:Among all my boys" said an old man
II mover had but one who took after me
and that was my 5 on Aaron, he took after
me with club"
Punch says every family ought to keep
a kitten to amuse the children. They
should also keep children to amuse the
kitten.
John" said a doating parent to her
rather inestimable boy, "can you eat that
pudding with impunity?"
Il don't know, ma" replied the young
hopeful, 'sbut | guess | can with spoon"
When Julia Long stood up at the altar,
the minister remarked
SIS your name Julia Long?"
The innocent girl replied
at amt nothing shorter.
A queer genius being asked why he
did not attend the funeral of his wife, re-
plied,-
''That he could not leave his shop, and
that it was always better to attend to
business before pleasure"
A charity sermon was once common
ced by the Dean of st. Paul's as follows.
Benevolence is a sentiment common
to human natures; A never sees B in dis
tress without wishing G to relieve him"
Waiter to a verdant Kentuckian at
New York hotel, =
g Roast beef, roast mutton, roast tur-
key, boiled Goldfish (pauses for breath)
Verdant Kentuckian,-" Yes, I'll take
them all"
"By their fruits We know shall them, as
the gardener said to the school-teacher,
when he traced his stolen pippins to the
pockets of the truant school-boys.
"Young man, do you know what rela-
tons you sustain in this world?' said
parson to a young member of the church.
"Why, yes, sir" replied the hopeful
convert, Il should think SO, two cousins
and grandmother; but l don't intend to
sustain them much longer"
We remember once seeing specimen
of a sailors letter, which run as follows -
DEAR jack want you to send me
some pigtail tobacco, a, taupaulin hat, and
pair of duck trowsers. You must be
sure to send the pigtail. If you forget
every thing else, don't forget the pigtail.
Send me lots of pigtail. Be sure and
send slashings of pigtail. Your friend,
Tom.
pa 70 ,I>o.
tail.
P.S. Don't forget the pigtail.
An exchange paper tells of a person
who prelaced his sermon with,-
"My friends, let us say few words be-
fore we begin"
This is about equal to the chap who
took a short nap before he went to sleep.
A wit being asked by seedy poet
whether he thought he had even written
anything that would live, replied
"Before you trouble youl self on that
store, | advise you to write something that
will let you live"
A woman up town put her baby into
the wash tub and its dirty frocll and pet
ticoat into the CRADLE and set her little
boy to rock it. She did not discover her
mistake until the baby cried when she
pinned it's left leg to the line, as she hung
it out to dry.
A young lady lately appeared in male
attire at st. Louis, and one Of the editors
says that her disguise was so perfect
that she might have passed for man
had she a little more modesty. What
stupid fellow that editor must be.
My dear" said an affectionate spouse
to her husband, IAN | your treasurer"
%, yes!' was the cool reply, "and |
would willingly lay it up in heaven"
What an insulting wretch!
AMERICAN GOODNESS. The London
Times, after commenting upon the pres
ent state of trade in America and En-
gland, says;
But in the midst of this awful stand
still the American mind continues cool
and nothing disturbs its self-possession
The whole affair is taken as an inconven-
fence, like the loss Of your carpet bag,
but not as rum, and hardly as adversely"
Mr. Neal Nelson, a soldier in the war
Of 1912, died lately in Washington coun-,
I nv Va