Southern shield., 1856-12-20

ceedingly rich:
 4 gentleman riding in an Eastern railroad car, which was rather scantliy supplied-with passengers, observed in seat before him a lean slabsided Yankee; every feature ofhis face seem ed to ask question, and little cir cgmstanco proved that he possess ed . more "inquiring mind" Be- fore him, occupying the entire seat, sat lady dressed in deep black, and and shifting his position several times, and manuvering to get an opportuni- 1 ty to look into her face, he at length caught her eye:
 ''In afIliction?'
 ''Yes sir, "-responded the lady.
 ''Pa-rant?-father or mother?'
 No, Sir"
 "Child, perhaps?-boy or girl?"
 No, sir, not a child, l have no children. D
 Husband, then, I expect?"
 "Ies," vas the curt answer. 'IIum-cholery?-a trading man may 6e?"
 My husband was sea- faring man the captain of a vessel; he didn't die of cholera-he was drowned" | "Oh, drowned, oh?" pursued the inquisitor hesitating for a brief in stant.
 "Save his chist?''
 "Yes, the vessel was saved, and my husbands effects" said the wid- ow.
 "Was they" asked the Yankee, his eyes frightening up.
 "Pious man?"
 "He was 8 member of the Metho- dist Church. :" The next question was a little de- Iayed, but it came,
 "Don't you think you have a great cause to be thankful that he was a pious man and saved his chist?"
 T do," said the widow, abruptly, and turned her head to look out of the window. The indefatigable @pump" changed his position, held the widow by his glittering eye once more, and propounded one more query, in a lit tie lower town, with his head slightly inclined forward, over the back of the seat, EEWas you calculating to get married again?''
 "Sir," said the widow indignantly, "you are impertinent!i' And she left her seat and took another, on the oth- CT side of the car.
 "Pear5 to be little hufy.' said the ineHabIe bore, turning to our mar rator behind him, Eshe needn't be mad: l don't want to hurt her feelings.z-75, What did they make you Gfilltr Gfi illtrs.-ll-;-.5 ''' umbrella you've goti TOT tnaV Q real booty on~ Ill your hand! us
 y4on lSS'- ,
 Il oG The last Brandon Republican has several model pufs from which we ex- tract the following.
 MODEL PUFFs.-.4lready Patented and Stere0typed-Gren Hventj0n. 1 4 few days ago we had the distinguish ed pleasure of witnessing the operat- ing of that excellent and time-saving invention, patented by our esteemed ifeIIow-townsman, Major Alexander SqobdoddIe, the Instant Chat Killer and Flea Exterminator, and we are pleased to say that for elegance and beauty, ability and cheapness combin- ed, it cannot be excelled. Several of our mostsprominent and distinguished citizens have likewise examined it and we cheerfully give below their certif- cate. A thousand similar ones could also be given.
 We, the undersigned, take pleasure in stating that we witnessed the oper- ation of Major Sqobdoddle's Chat Xiii Her and Flea Exterminator, and do not hesitate to pronounce it superb. Its chief excellence consists, 1st: That ii does not cost as much as 1t might; 2d: That there is no danger to the opera tor in using it, Sd: That it will last a century if not used and kept dry; 4th: That it don't come in competition with any other invention that we know of. We recommend it, cheerfully, to the patronage of a liberal and enlight- ened public, (though, in fact, we don't know much about such things any way.)
 J.Q. Smith, LLD., Sam Slick, NJ. D., Euclid Hog, Esq, N. Bonaparte Jones, U. s. A., Brig. Gen'l Boxer, s. Bolivar Boggs, Esq. ~1~~O-NO-o~-o-o-o-
 "Pat, you have dated your letter a week head. It.is not so late in the month by one week, you spalpeen."
 "Troth, boy, indade an' it's jist meself what is wanting sweet Kathleen to get 1t in advance of the mail. Shure |I,II not care if she gets it three days afore 1t is written, me darlint"
 ~u0-~10.~-o~o-oD~oN~-~UO | A Mir. Flanigan, in Dublin paper, puts his name to the following