Thibodaux minerva. [volume] (Thibodaux, La.) 18??-1858, 1856-04-12
M1NERvA's SCRAP BASKET.

when you get married, but more jawy after year
or two
Never give boy shilling to hold your shadow
while you climb tree to look into the middle OF
next week-it is money thrown away.
| When you want a warm bath and can't afford
to pay for it, just go and pull somebody's nose.
You'll then be in hot water at once.
An editor in Iowa has been fined $3.50 for hug
ging girl in meeting Cheap enough! We once
Rugged girl in meeting, and it has cost US thou
sand a year ever since.
| Mester Godn used to gay as 'ow children costed
a sight o money. 1t was all very well whilst UNI
| was leetle, and sucked re moder; put wen UNI got
pigger an pegun to zuck re fader, twas quite an
oder ting.
| An individual without the "dimes" is like a
steamboat without fuel-he cannot get ahead.
| Among the ladies he is like the moon Oh a cloudy
| night-he can't shine-he is dead matter.
Ridicue is selfish passion at best-a gross
pleasure and too sough entertainment for those
who are at all delicate Or refined.
Sit down, sir, said dignifed judge to an imper-
| tinent limb of the law. cannot entertain your
absurd proposition. but my necessity" Yes
yes, admit your nccessty-you are a necessity
knows no law.
Doctor, said somewhat nervous person to an
eminent physician, my daughter has had terrible
fit this morning, she continued full half an hour
without knowledge or understanding. ooh, don't
mind that" said the doctor, some people continue
so all their lives"
A Wesleyan popular local preacher in the Splsby
circuit, recently gave utterance to the following
extravagant sentence: "God pity our Queen, who
has no more sense than to hire lot of French mu-
sicans to assist her in desecrating the Sabbath"
"Wel, Sambo, what's yer up to now-a-days?"
80, Use carpenter and jiner." He! guess
yer is. What department does yer perform Sam
DO? "What department? does the circular
work." whats dat?" "Why, turns the
grindstone."
A mother, admonishing her son, lad of some
seven years of age, told him that he should never
defer till tomorrow what he could do to-day. The
little urchin replied, "Then, MOTHER let's eat the
rest Of that plum-pudding tonight"
One of the best hits ever made at an improperly
in lady's dress, was made by Taleyrand. During
the revolution when asked by lady his opinion of
her dress, he replied 1t began too late and ended
too soon."
"Zebediah,' said country school master,
"who is the Emperor of Russia?' "Wigtoria,"
was the reply" land who is the Dey of AIgiers?"
Thunder and lightning!" cried Zeb, "Pve hearn
tell of the day Of judgment aud day of pentecost,
and thanksgiving day-but / cave on tother."
The unfortunate youth who was drowned few
days ago in "aood of tender recolections," was
slowly recovering-but yesterday he fell from the
sublime to the ridiculous and was fatally injured
hardly injurable.
Different sounds travel with different velocity.
A call to dinner will run over a ten acre lot in
minute and half, while summons to work will
take from five to ten minutes, at the very least
The married men of the New York Cricket Club
recently beat the single members. One of the
miserable, crusty bachelors said he didn't wonder
at it-they probably got their hands in by beating
their wives"
The following is supposed TO show the difference
between tweededum and tweededee:
love you Ruth you surely have been able to discern it
My love ardent and sincere o, that you'll return
Return it, Paul. no. Il I've striven hard gain it,
And now I've got by leave rather would retain it,
Isaac, can you describe bat? Yes, sr-he's
a flying insect, about the size Of stoppe-has In
da rubber wings, and shoestring TAIL and sees
best with his eyes shut.
As a lady was walking on Broadway short time
ago, gentleman's button caught in the fringe of
her shawl Some moments elapsed before the
parties were separated. 81 am attached to you,
madam" said the gentleman, good-humoredly,
while industriously trying to get loose. The at
tachment is mutual, sir" was the good-humored
reply.
Said fellow to a Jew, while ago. "did you
know that they hang Jews and jackasses together
in England ~ mo, I didn't" replied the Israel
ite "but if it be true it is fortunate that you and
are not there; for one of us might be hung for
his nation and the other for his nature; and there
would be an end of US BOTH
EPIGRAM-
When from Nicaragua Minister CAME
His credentials he at once presented,
But no presentation at all could he get,
Which, doubtless, he greatly lamented.
Though his credentials were not, he was thus
taken in,
And if the reports we believe,
He'd be very glad to take himself off,
And, sans cerenaonie, take FRENCH leave.
An old lady, possessed Of fine fortune and no.
ted for her penchant for the use Of fgurative ex
pressions, one day assembled her grandchildren,
when the following conversation took place: "My
children" said the old lady, 81 am the root
and you are the branches thereof" "Grandma,"
says one. "What, my child?" II was thinking
how much better the branches would flourish if
the root was under the ground"
Which are the most Industrious letters? The
Bees. Which are the most extensive letters? The
Seas Which are the most fond of comfort? The
Ease. Which are the most egotistical letters?
The rs. Which are the longest letterss The
Ellis. Which are the noisy Ietterss The Obs.
Which are the eatable letters? The Peas Which
are the greatest boress The Teas. Which are
the most sensible letters? The Wise.
A Brown srrDr-
sat me down in thought profound
This maxim wise l drew:
It's easier far to like girl,
Than make girl like you!
But sitter all / don't believe
Ny heart will break with woe;
If she's inclined to love "that chap"
Why, bless her, let her GO!
Why, bless her. let her go!
In SEARCH OF HER HUsBAED-Tuesday even
ing lady reached this city from Washington, D..
c., in pursuit Of her husband, who had e1oped with
another woman. The parties stopped at a tavern
down town, and the lady learning the fact pro-
ceeded thither, and told the landlord the story of
tribuaton and her husbands rascality. The guilty
pair, learning by some means of her presence in
the tavern, contrived to leave the house without
her knowledge, and started for Allegheny, with a
view of getting of in the next train. Accompanied
by the landlord she pursued them to the station,
but here they gave her the clip again, and though
every effort was made by officer Scott and others
"a, ~, fbo Tofbo