Western Reserve chronicle. [volume] (Warren, Ohio) 1855-1921, 1856-05-14
For the Chronicle.
"INO zOHaa takes kssssy 10 be q monster"
FANE's SAcRAyIcE.

ZANE SAcRAFICE.
NessrS. Editors: 1 have lately seen
some immense balloons hanging up in all
the stores about town, and had their uses
explained to me. 1 am sure they must
have escaped your observation, for no
mention has been made Of them in your
excellent paper, and you do not fail to no.
tice, for the benefit of your readers, every
new invention as soon as introduced.
1 was at great loss at first to discov-
er the use of these balloons; but contem-
plating them for some time with that
depth of thought, which is my wont, l
soon hit upon what L conceived to be
the true solution of the mystery. 1 sup
posed some ingenious fisherman had in
vented them for fish nets. 1 thought
they would place these immense nets in
some large river, where it would be
deepest and wi1est, and while it should
be adjusted by a body of men, or some
machinery, l know not how, others
would ascend the river and drive all the
fish down, which not being able to es
cape upon either side would be driven
into it, and thus more would be taken by
one haul than could otherwise be in a
whole year. l was the more confirmed
in this belief from the great quantities of
fish h0d lately sesn in market. 1 was
corrected however, in this false notion,
by the gentleman who vends these bal
looms. He informed me that they were
only known 10 the tradesmen, and their
customers; that the rules of trade did
not allow him to disclose their use.
secretly doubted that they were in such
general use, as the merchants language
would indicate, for l had travelled and
read in my time, and had not seen nor read
of anything Of the kind. A friend was
of the opinion that they were genuine
balloons, and that we were to have a
grand illumination and balloon ascension.
saw at once how great mistake he
Lad made, as no balloon could ascend
with so many and such ponderous hoops
of whale-bone as surround these. The
merchant seeing into what extravsgan-
ces We were running, he explained
their true use. He said that they were
worn by the female part of the commu-
nifty, and were not Of very recent date.
He informed US that they were worn by
the ladies to improve their "architectu-
raj appearance" My friend could not
see any better than myself, how it i'm
prOred their appearance "by increasing
its size at the foundation, without adding
TO the height of tie superstructure."
1, who am something of an antiquary,
have been searching into the history of
these balloons, or "hoops" as they were
formerly called. 1 find that our sisters
and wives have worn them for a consid-
cradle time, and the fashion was intro
duced as long ago as the reign of Charles
l, King of England, and that the men Of
those days were in great dread of them.
and were filed with as mnch alarm at
their appearance, as we are now.
Some supposed Il use the authentic
language of history that they portended
the downfall of the French Empire, while
others were of the opinion that they fore
tell battles and bloodshed, and believed
them to be as ominous of i'll as a blaz-
ing star, or the tail of comet. For my
part think they bode no good to our
country, and write you TO ask if this be
not your opinion, and if so 10 contribute
the influence of your paper towards
driving from us an evil that threatens to
fill the whole land.
Your humble servant, 7.