The Abbeville banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1847-1869, 1856-09-18

AN 1R1sHmAN IN THE rELEoRApH oFP1cr

lHo otiier usty, rs nc entered the
Office in Boston. On being informed it was,
a dialogue ensued, Of which tho following is
verbatim report
Pat.-Is Mistller House in?
Clerk.-No. I attend to the busines
here.
Pat.-Och, ye do! We'll, can ye send
to me brother Mick, in New York
Clerk.-Ycs. Have you your message
written?
Pat.-O bother! Divil need of givin'
Mick a message in writin', at all, at alf-
just give him this five dollar bill, sure, for
to help pay the fine the blackguards put
upon him.
Clcrk.-But we cant send money by
telegraph. Money must go by mail.
Pat.-Shure what 'ud go buy male for ?
AM isn't it three pecks of Elegant asule
have i'll the house already2
Clerk.-No. You don't understand. I
mean by post.
Pat.-Post is it! In lettler? AM ye
can't send it by tho telegraph
Clerk.-No. All wo can do is, if YOU
have message we can send that. That is.
we charge the wire with electricity, and
make it write in New York whatever Won
wish
Pat.-hake It right, is it! We'll, now,
hedad, that's the thing entirely. Just make
F" right with Mick, an here's five dollars,
avick!
Clerk Slightly vexed.) We can do moth
ing of tho sort! mean we can write
print the words you want to say to your
brother in New York.
Pat Scratching his head with puzzled
air)-If yc can do that, jest be afther dis.
coorsin wild him as soon as ye like!
Cerk.-But you must write the message
you wish to send, upon this bit of paper.
Pat.~-Cch! bad luck to it! haven't
the gift o wntin' at all, sure.
| Here the clerk arranges his papers, aud
prepares to write the message for Pat him
self
Cerk.-What's your brothers name?
lat.-Same as me own. Sure we'ro
brothers
CIerk.-I know that. But what is he
called?
Pat.-What is he called? O! well, in
the ovid country they tailed him "Shilelah
Nick" bekasc of tho mighty fine taste he
had at swingin' that bit of a twis; and
many's the sconce lie cracked like an ovid
taypot, when
Clerk (exasperated.)-I don't care what
they called him i'll Ireland. Give mo his
other name. 1t is Mick" what 4?
Pat.-Och, bothcration, no Mick Watt
Is my cousin: and lives in the county Kerry,
and been dead these five years-heaycn rest
his sowl!
Clerk.-Confound it! Can't you tell me
your brothers other name? He has one
besides Michael, hasn't hes
Pat.-O yes! Shure, why didn't We tell
me that's what ye wanted beforc-for faith.
as sure's my name is Pat Finnegan, We
should have been towld the family name of
my ancestors begorra?
Clcrk.-Ah Finnegan's the name.
Pat.-No, jewel-MicA Finnegan. Divil
and Il. Finnegan is there in the family,
savin' Rory. He has listed for soger.
Clerk proceeds to write message to
Mick" as dictated by Pat-after which
he counts the words. The first ten will
cost you forty cents, and the others twenty
four, making sixty-four cents in ALL"
Pat.-O, bother the first tin words -
shure Mickll never miss 'em. Send the
last.
Clerk.-We can't do that. You must
pay forty cents at any rate.
Pat.-Sorra bit can do that. Shure
ye may tell Mick that the r'ason of his
gittin' no missage from me, was OWN to
tho occasion of the money it cost-an'
thatll explain the r'ason of his not hearin'
from me at all.
Exit Pat, anathemising the "dirtby
wire machine of telegraph" )" and followed
by not over friendly ejaculation from the
clerk in attendance.
Defence Of Gen. Walker.-Wm. T. John
son, one of the Americans who was taken
prisoner by the Costa Ricans after the bat
tie of Santa Rosa, is out in letter defend
ing Gen. Walker. His name, it will be re-
n,embered, with the names of six others, was
signed to circular addressed to tho people
Of the United States, in which Gen. Walker
was accused of being an unprincipled adven.
turer, and Of entieing by false promises
young men from eUnited States to join
his army. Mr.. johnson says that the
circular is a tissue Of falsehoods from begin,
xs... -. al 4hol l,;a 60