davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Squatter sovereign., 1856-02-12

LITTLE GIRLs.-There is something IN
expressihly sweet about hale girls. Love-
ly. pure, innocent, ingenious, unsrspeciing,
full of kindness to brothers, babies and ey-
erything- They are sweet little human
flowers, diamond dew drops in the breath
of morn. What pity they should ever
become women, firts and heartless CO.
ouets.
Squatter sovereign., 1856-02-12

A GOOD WAY TO COOK oNIoNs.-It is a
good plan TO boil onions in milk and wa
ter; it diminishes the strong taste Of that
vegetable. 1t is an excellent way Of serv-
ing up onions, to chop them after they are
boiled, and put in a stew pan, with little
milk, butter, salt and pepper, and let them
stew about fifteen minutes. This gives
them fine favor, and they can be served
up very bot.
Squatter sovereign., 1856-02-12
50 a plous minister, after Iecturing

So A plous minister, after Iecturing
a school class in a most edif'ying manner,
proposed 10 close the exercises by singing
Jordan, meaning the hymn '.On Jcrdan's 5
stormy banks / stand" The worthy man
was Mortified by hearing the whole itnrne-
diately strike up, Jordan am hard road
10 travel | believe"
Squatter sovereign., 1856-02-12

Eg During the search $ instituted" by
the editor of the Newark Times for female
conpositors. it is reported that the follow
ing short dialogue took place:
BalsTEa.-" Good morning Mr.. Hen
peck; have you get any daughters that
would make good type settlers 3" g
HEsPEcx.-. No. but I've go. a wife
that would make very fine deril!n
Squatter sovereign., 1856-02-12

E- A wild man. seven feet high, is
stated to be roaming through the great
Mississippi bottom in Arkansas. Numc-
fouS travellers and hunters have asserted
that they have seen him, but nor.e have
been able to get near enough TO give rar-
ticulars concerning this strange being.
Squatter sovereign., 1856-02-12

E Woman is the morning star OF
our youth, the day star of our manhood,
and the evening star OF our old age. Be-
sides. We have thirty-three stars on our
banner. Heaven bless our stars,
Squatter sovereign., 1856-02-12

EW The world-renowed John Smith
sends the Boston { Mass. Posi- the follow
ing p;thy toast for the celebration of the
mex, Fourth of July, but il is. too good 10
be laid over:-s. The Tive Declarations
the Declaration of Independence, whereby
we gained our liberty, and the Deeiaraiion
Of Love, whereby We lost it. =.
Squatter sovereign., 1856-02-12

SANS PEDIoREE.-The Knuw-Nothino
gas-bags are blowing considerably about
Sam know-nolhings pedigree. The Rev.
Mr.. Hardiace has recently written some.
thing which essays TO Be the. pedigree OF
the young mushroom wtirh has been
published by the know-nothing papers,
We give the following extract from Ii.
family record, and vouch for its accuracy.
Look at it and read:
TEE Rrcosp.
In 11S2. Federalists.
In 1888. Cow Boys.
In 1857, Convention MonarcList,
In 1884. Black Cockaders.
IN 1903. Anti-Jeaerson inpressnens
In 1911. British Bank Men.
In 1912, Peace men.
In 1913. Blue Lights.
In 1914. Hartford Conssntionis,s.
In 1926, Washington benevolent Socie-
ty Men.
In 1918, No party men.
In 1920, Federal Republican.
In 1926, National Republicans.
In 1884, Wings.
In 1887, Conservatives.
In 1893, Abolition Wings.
In 1880, Democratic Wings.
In ls40. Log Cabin. and hard Cider
Men.
In 1914. Clay Wings.
In lSi7, Antl-Americdn, Antl-War
Wings,
In 1851, Rich Irish Brogue Wings.
In 1852, God and Liberty Wings.
In 1854, know-nothings.
In 1855, FUsIoNrsrs.
Squatter sovereign., 1856-02-12

s1 Aiitile girl four years cid. Is about
appearing on the stlge in Charleston. S.
c., in the character of sibers,in "IF alian
TeH.'' as
Squatter sovereign., 1856-02-12

"a A countrylnan entered Whipple's
daguerreotype saloon in Boston, q few days
since, and wished daguerreotype of his
uncle. 81 can doit. sir, Lut where's be 3"
"Oh, he's dead !" was the simply reply /;
"but I've gota description of HIM in an old
passport" -
Squatter sovereign., 1856-02-12
THE CASE.

'CU;us PARs FUI"-Virgii.
There went twelve men into box
And one onto a bench;
To try an issue joined 'twixt Fox
And the defendant, French.
The charge was this-when clarified
From teehnicai word-fog-
Tint French's son tin pan had tied
To tail OF FoA's dogs
Who thereupon (the cur ] mean)
In frenzy to aroynt,
Had run his legs off slick and clean,
Up to the sa.'ond joint!
Whereby said dog, to all intents
or Use. no matter what,
Was not worth-no. not worth three cents
And bogus ones at that.
Then sundrv witnesses were heard
Deiendant's side upon,
Who all upon their oath averrad
lie never had a son!
And said they wished they might be stoned
Each from his home and wife,
If plaintiff ever yet had owned
A dog in all his life
Then Fox his witnesses deploys
Bsfofe the legal camp.
WAC swore that French had twenty boys,
And each precious scamp;
And then in plaintiffs canine praise,
They all did thus agsee:
That Acteon, in his p.oudest days,
Hadn't haif the pluck that he!
Then rose defendants counsel wise,
Alert for legal fight;
And plump IN court and jnry's eyes,
Threw dust from morn till night.
And tore at times his hap.ess hair,
As wrath inspired his strains;
Till scalp without OF locks Was bare
As scail within of brains.
Next day, rose plaintiffs Gearned' trus.,
Squire Rsmarole Mcrhud,
And killed nine hou.s IN throwing dust,
Diversified with mud.
As he was bald, he could not doff
HIS thatch, yet suffered some;
For in his frenzy he-tore of
Three finge and thumb.
Then rose The Court with awful grace,
Aad to The four times three
Said Gentlemen, you've heard the case,
From a to & perse.
The law is clear, the facts you know,
The doubts we'll not discuss;
ryou think THIS and thus, why-se;
1t SO and so, why thus.
The patient jury thsreupoa
Were quod lock for the nights
And on the morrow found, mem. con-,
Tsus verdict, ss.sved him riyht.n
and when, 1t last, they had achieved
A task Ga deeply thrilling,
Each Tor his fsur whole days received,
Apsads jrsk enc shs<s seilragt
Squatter sovereign., 1856-02-12

E" Ma said little girl to her
mother, do the men want to get married as
much as the women do?'
'.Pshaw! What are you talking aboat?''
Why, ma, the women who come here
are always talking abou, getting married i;
the men don't do So"
Squatter sovereign., 1856-02-12

20 The Sugar crop OF Louisiana fer
this year is now ascer.ained TO have fallen
short Of the average crop BY at least a
half
Squatter sovereign., 1856-02-12
dbe poft' S Column.

IThe g.o ions "uncertaintv OF the law" is
ve p-ettiv hit of in the following bagatelle,
which we fnd in the Knickerbocker for De-
rernhnr. L
Squatter sovereign., 1856-02-12

The ABoLITIoNIsN OF KNow-NoTHISG-
IsM.-In accepting the nomination Of the
Know-Nothing party Of Massachusetts,
just before the late e.ection in that State,
Gov. Gardner said:
81 confess am an an,i-siavery man.
will oppose. in public or private life. the
aggressions of slavery, so help me God
SO long as Live"
In tie same speech, he spoke Of Judge
Kane as g aninfamous slave-catching COM
missioner at Philadeiphia, who. hope.
will be imreached before the next Con.
gress. and were there would cheerfully
give my vote in favor of such impeach-
ment."
The Boston Bee, the official organ of
the Massachusetts, Know-Noiiings, said,
prior to the late election:
What has the American party OF Mas
sachuset,s done for Freenom and Moral
ity7
Elected Henry Wilson to tL. United
States Senate.
What has the American party Of Mas
sachusetts done for Freedom and Moral
ity?
Elected its entire delegation Of Uni
ted States representatives. who are unit
upon the question OF anti-slavery.
What has the American party of Mas
sachusetts done for Freedom and Moral
ity7
Passed, through its State Legislature,
the Personal Liberty bill-an act which
no other State ever has, or dared pass"
Squatter sovereign., 1856-02-12

EB- Before you get measured for new
boots. put on three pairs OF thick stockings.
A good move. Blu, wont that ruin the
eorn-doctor! He goes TO der tuyvel.
Squatter sovereign., 1856-02-12

f@A rich jour printer has been found
out west. He IS being exhibited with
ring-tailed monkeys. wild hogs. shaved
horses, three-iegged calves. and o:her trim
kets- Some show spectator should purchase
that printer.
Squatter sovereign., 1856-02-12

H The recent snow sierm seems to
been very generel one. having visited ey-
cry section o; the country, so iaE as heard
from.
Squatter sovereign., 1856-02-12

ia A gentleman. who says be has
seen the experiment sufficiently tested 10
South Alabama. states that :. handful Of
CHINA berries, thrown upon the fire while
smoking bacon, viii prove preventative
sgainss shippers. Nov Is the time % try
l.
Squatter sovereign., 1856-02-12

E A cement composed of canada
balsam and Stacked lime, and filled into a
hollow tooth. will affori im:ne1:at Z relief
in all tooth-aches, except from chronic
Squatter sovereign., 1856-02-12

A NOBLE Roy A little fellow, not more
than Are years old, hearing some gentle
men at his fathers table discussing the IA
miliar line -.
"An honest mans the noblest work of
God" said he knew 1t wasn't true-his
mother was better than any man that was
ever made
Squatter sovereign., 1856-02-12

ssS- A sewing machine that can be car
ried il the pocket, can be operated by a
child of five years, and costs only SO, has
lately Leen invented.
Squatter sovereign., 1856-02-12
A Thing Unheard of Before.

It is very well known amcng persons of
any considerable experience in life, that
men and women are often deceived in mat
rimonial transactions and speculations.
Who has not known the s. fortune hunter,r
who supposed himself to be espousing
cool hundred thousand, brought short up
with piece OF poor land, a dozen negroes,
and perhaps usurious note for five OF six
hundred 2 And, per contra, who has MOI
seen the penniiess beauty catch a dashing
fellow, reputed to possess thousands in GER
tain indefinitely described stocks and plan
tations. hut whose property proved to be
only fine suit of clothes, and a galvan-
lied watch and chains.
We were recently conversing with a
friend on men and things. when we hap
pened TO remember an old schooi-mate, of
e fast" propensisies.
What has become of Frank HI"
we asked.
"Have you not heard g" said our friend,
his face growing sad, "of Frank remark
able rnarriage2''
Never!" we replied.
"Well, sir, he married--his wife is a
beautiful, accomplished, lovely woman,
but
But wiat!"
Sir, Mrs. H was reputed, before
marriage, to be worth just fifteen thousand
dollars. She was The only daughter of a
widowed mother. Her friends and her
mother, too, always said that it ~as fifteen
thousand. The story Was believed -
Certainly, such stories always are"
Well. when they were married, and
Frank comes 10 coun, the money
He no doubt found it fifteen hundred. -
BY no means; the old lady, who kept
the income, had boarded great deal o.
the money, and when counted it was ass
certained that Mrs. H had twenty-five
thousand dollars"
Our friend wiped his face as he grarely
added that he believed no such case Lad
ever happened out Of North Carolina.
ia John Randolph was one of Tie
most sarcastic men that ever lived. One
time young man attempted to make Lis
acquaintance. He obtained an introduce
tion, and among the first remarks, said:
'1 passed by your house lately, Mr..
Randolph
Il hope you always will" was the
sharp reply.
Another one twitted him Of his house
and education"
The gentleman reminds me," said Ran
dolph in reply, Of the lands about the
head waters OF the Montgomery, which are
poor by nature, aud cultivation has entirely
ruined them :" 90
Squatter sovereign., 1856-02-12
e. A iadV wiiie attepdino the fi,ne

20 A lady while attending the fune-
raj of her husband a. Trinity Caurch-yard
n. T.. recently. had her pocket picked OF
fifty dollars. Shame. thus TO ada another
heavy beEeavenen, 70 the sIrsudy sorrow-
s.xiekensd widoH. ss@
Squatter sovereign., 1856-02-12

E Ex.Governor Bigler Las teen
elected {. S. Senator by the legislature of
Pennsylvania, receiving So votes. Tie
remainder of the votes were drown scat
tering.
Squatter sovereign., 1856-02-12

ia A five hundred dollar Bible is adver-
tised for sale in the Philadelphia Ledger.
The ornaments Oh the cover are OF solid
gold.
Squatter sovereign., 1856-02-12

E In a store in Boston is a clock
from which the works have been removed
-on its face is painted. :: No tick Lere :"
Very oininous.
Squatter sovereign., 1856-02-12

According 10 Paris correspondent
of the Intellicencer. the expenses of the
Allies. in the Cfi,nea, exceeds 81 &c.,
000 day
Squatter sovereign., 1856-02-12

E A distinguished literary tourist
was cnce found in paroxysm OF tears over
the supposed tomb of Washington, at Mount
Vernon, but it turned Oat to be only the ice
house.
Squatter sovereign., 1856-02-12

EJ He that is taught to live upon lit
tie owes more 10 his fathers wisdom TIA n
he that has great deal LETT him, does to
his fathers care.
Squatter sovereign., 1856-02-12

EW A number OF our exchanges are
boas;ing Of large potatoes. We have sew
eral small potatoes hereabouts, bu! do no,
think it worth while, to notice them.
Squatter sovereign., 1856-02-12

rs There is no tranking privilege in
England; even the Queen must come down
her postage pennies.
Squatter sovereign., 1856-02-12

ED Will so he Of ihe know-nothine
papers tell US how many norlhsrn men
vote for Fuller.
Squatter sovereign., 1856-02-12

ewTo pronounce man happy be-
cause he is rich, is just about absurd as to
Gala man healthy because be has enough
70 eat. Very common mistake, though.
Squatter sovereign., 1856-02-12

sr The eoIdest day ever known in
England, was December 25,h. when the
thermometer sunk to g degrees.below zero.
Squatter sovereign., 1856-02-12

E Il is some consolation TO kn or
that 50 long as Congress is unorgaaized
no bad legislature can take place.
Squatter sovereign., 1856-02-12

E~ The Comnoc Council Of Augusts,
Ga, have passed an ordinance closing bar
rooms on election davs.
Squatter sovereign., 1856-02-12

E~ About six times the usual amount
of winter wheat, it is said, has been sown
in Western Missouri this year.
Squatter sovereign., 1856-02-12

EG In England, Oh an average, every
man spends about three per cent. Of his in.
come In railway travelling.
Squatter sovereign., 1856-02-12

rI- There are forty steamboats, enga-
ged in the carrying trade off the Missouri,
Yalued at ,SoOG. 900.
Squatter sovereign., 1856-02-12

ED- The people of the United States
can burst more steamboats,, and chew more
tobacco than any other five nations any
where.
Squatter sovereign., 1856-02-12

EE The Reason way they are 70 OILS
who cannot keep "A secret. Taeir exoess-
i've greenness. like that OF new wood, splits
them.
Squatter sovereign., 1856-02-12

Gunpower, which was 10 cents a pound
in New York on the opening OF the war
has advanced to 90 cents.
Squatter sovereign., 1856-02-12

"a The best bite we ever had on 4
fishing excursion, was the bite we took
along with Us.
Squatter sovereign., 1856-02-12

to Kossuith says that America hes
not tried the power Of her sword. Sha
is giant in strength, but child is the
consciousness of II.
Squatter sovereign., 1856-02-12

sBe The little boy who undertook to
suck an egg plant and was cholied by the
yolk, has recovered
Squatter sovereign., 1856-02-12

E a crying babe may be stilled in
one minute, by pressing the finger gently
and repeatedly across the cartilage OF its
Squatter sovereign., 1856-02-12

e@ The city OF Washington expends
S20, 0,5S7 on her public schools.
Squatter sovereign., 1856-02-12

Ia A work on slavery to be dedi.
Gated TO Queen Victoria, is about being
issued In Charleston S. C.
Squatter sovereign., 1856-02-12

E~ TIE English fee. just sent to the
West In3ies carries $40 guns.
Squatter sovereign., 1856-02-12

E~ Ten thousand hogs were killed in
Louisville last week.
Squatter sovereign., 1856-02-12

s~ Itis stated that the French are
forming camp of $4,000 men in Siiis-
tria =
Squatter sovereign., 1856-02-12

E@ Accounts from Naples say that
there is no doub. Of revolutionary move
ments in Sicily.
Squatter sovereign., 1856-02-12

"a Ii IS said thai Capt. Bragg, who
lately resigned ais ofIiee in .Lss Army, IS
sbo<t @ sslsie 10 Louisiana G. 9 plauaer.
Squatter sovereign., 1856-02-12
E@- a scien,ific friend WAS exhihiti

E@- A scientific friend was exhibiting
10 gentleman balloon of bladder ir-
hated with oxygen. a But" Observed
the gentleman, :" if the oxygen should es-
cape, how can you get iiinto The bladder
again?" THAT is not the difficulty" re-
marked bystander; it is not how TO get
the oxygen into the bladder again. but
how TO get the bladder into the ox-again.' y
Squatter sovereign., 1856-02-12
The Seller Sold.

An incident recently occurred in town
on the Connecticut river, which illustrates
the danger of practical joking, and served,
at the time, its purpose OF fun and raillery.
A certain barber. happening in at q
store, clerk, who wished to play the bar
Der trick, offered him bottle of bears
oil. The latterdid not want it, but being
over urged took it and paid for it. .
On his opening it, in his shop, the oil
was found 10 be lamp oil, with a very rank
smell. Nothing was said OF the shave
which the clerk had practised, and the bar
Der shaved along as usual. until the mat
ter mad time 10 be forgotten.
A few evenings since, the clerk went
into the BARRIERS shop to be shaved prepa-
ratory to ball. After the harvest OF the
thick, beardly chin was reaped, the clerk
s.raightened himself up. and exclaimed
Now slap on the OIL
a good handful was poured out, :. slap
ped on" and rubbed in. A second follow
ed, hut, before it could be rubbed in, the
clerk smelt suthin," and leaped from the
chair as If he had been shot. at the same
| time giving utterance to sundry expletiyes,
! coming under the cognizanec of the stat
ute against profane swearing.
The barber assured the enraged custom
er that he had put bears oil on his head,
and from the very bottle he had Sold him.
Ii it was poor oil, it was the clerks fault,
There was no resisting this, and the
matter was settled by refunding the money
paid for the oil, and champooing at the
clerks expense.
The clerk went to the ball. but the rank
lamp oil stuck 20 his hair. and the snufis
Of those who came near him, showed that
! the barber was wicked when lie champooed
| him.
MoRAL.-Hones.y is the best policy,
and lamp oil is by no means the best thing
10 make the course of pleasure run smooth.
DON'T PRESUME SO LARGELY.-Paper
are frequently returned with the endorse
ment 6 refused, without any sort of indi-
| cation as to where they came from. This
puts US TO unnecessary trouble. as it in
wolves the necessity of looking our SUBJ
scription book all over to find the name, so
that we may "discontinuc" It is very
fashionable in these latter days. to let
paper run on for several months, and then
return it refused" without even intima-
ting they owe the publisher red cent, and
of course would get mad if the publisher
was to intimate such q thing.
Postmasters would confer a favor on
publishers if they would put their post
| mark on papers returned.
Squatter sovereign., 1856-02-12
The Squatter Sovereign,
is PUBLISHED EVERY TUESDAY
MORNING BY
>. u. srnIxGrELLow & R. E. KELLEY.
Publication Office on c Nreef.

TERMS Two dollars per annum; invariably
In advance. Single copies cents, twelve cop
les for fifty cents.
To CLuns:-Five copies will be sent to one
address for SO. Ten to one address Tor SIC
rx.nty to one address for S32. Forty to one
address for 500. Invariably IN ADVANCE.
ew Money may be sent by mail, at the risk
II the Editors. e.
w Post,nasters are requested to act az our
Agents.
Squatter sovereign., 1856-02-12

How TO BE HArrr.-The Journal OF
Health says:
lst. A man on, Of money can't be hap
py. h s
I'd. A man GU, of health can't be hap
py.
Sd. A man without wife can't be hap
py.
Therefore have come to the conclusion
that the best way to be happy is TO take
care Of your health. keep out Of debt and
get wife.
Squatter sovereign., 1856-02-12

has at Ia
that never
water, but
YES between
good Boats,
!. All who
Remember
EY. Iatan
Squatter sovereign., 1856-02-12

-@-s. - sus..z.
Squatter sovereign., 1856-02-12

FRY.
|ly acknowl-
+ him by the
Rd solicits a
khes to call
frcfnlly se-
be sold very
\, and a va
style: AL
f all sizes,
ool Honses,
at Whole
nd shortest
particularly
BRIGGS.
New Orleans daily crescent. [volume] ([New Orleans, La.]) 1851-1866, 1856-05-08

SINGULAR DIsAPPEARANcE.--Ayo young German girl
Ohio, about three miles below the city, disappeared
suddenly in the following singular manner On last
Friday at noon, when the farm laborer came to his
dinner Mrs. Ageo requested the young girl to bring
bucket of water from the river AS she passed out
of the house, she picked up Ratchet left by the farm
hand at the door, and took it with her. Remaining
away so long, Mrs. Algeo became alarmed about her,
and ibegan to make search after her whereabouts.
She learned from a man in the employ of neighbor,
that he had seen her on flat boat which was tied to
the shore below. On examining the spot, they found
her shoes and stockings lying on the bank and dis
covered that she had cut the cable attached to the
boat with the Ratchet. Tie current being very swift
the fiat boat and its occupant were swept away with
railroad speed. Nothing has yet been heard of the
girl. Pittsburgh Post, 30th
New Orleans daily crescent. [volume] ([New Orleans, La.]) 1851-1866, 1856-05-08
4Ke19't1ag's Safe again V'ictOrtoess.
EXTRAORDINARY INSURANCE AGAINST FIRE

Extract of letter from Norfolk, Va, dated Jan H. 1856:
One of Herrings celebrated Fire Safes Adams
Express Office when the building burned, weeks
1t remained buried in the rubbish until Thursday,
~hea it taken The fire, the alluded
to, of the fercest tRw, when the chest
found after lapse of forty days, surrounded
by etnhes glowing brightly When opened the papers Rd
other articles contained found be generally
in good condition. thus nordng another proof of the security
and superiority Of these safes The alluded may be
at the warehouse of Messrs Rowland Bros who agents
for the makers 1t shows clearly the evidence
of its iucombushe qualities when its exterior redhot in
the burning furnace that reared around it, and amid the embers
that slared around ii for hours, days and weeks.
Tho undersigned Sole Agents for the sale Of the above
4 full supply constantly on hand.
O. G. MILLER l. CO.,
f'-avier street
New Orleans daily crescent. [volume] ([New Orleans, La.]) 1851-1866, 1856-05-08
- :
MIC ar n e N n .

we have been permitted to make the following eA
tract from letter received by gentleman q thls
CITY, from one Of the emgrants that went 70 MICA
iraeua on the Charles Morgan. The letter y dated
CASTILLO, RAPIDS, April lS, 1885,
Yon will have received, through the newspapers,
full accounts of the state Of affairs here. On the
arrival Of the steamer, we went up the river armed
and ready for the Costa Reans We had several
false alarms, but did not have the good luck to
meet with any of the enemy. Twenty-Five milesbelow
here We came to one Of Gen. Walkers garrsons, Of
twenty-five men, thirteen of whom had gone, q few
days BEFORE up the river, and had whipped two hun
bred Costa Ricans, killing about thirty of them.
find. that Gen. Walker is almost wolshipped, and
think deservedly 50. He is gone with some SIX
hundred men to attack the Costa Ricans, and arms
are the only thing necessary to enable him to make
clean sweep Of them. The Costa Rcans are repre-
sented as very we'll drilled, and well armed, but are
said to be great towards. We do not eelany doubt
as to the favorable result Of cause Asyet have
met with but few Of the natiyes-they seem to BIZ
something between Spaniards and Indians-they are
friendly, and think Of nothing but trading with thu
soldiers. Every thing is high, and at no particular
price. The climate could not be more pleasant no
the country more beautiful. We came up the Cole
RADIO river on steamboats, formerly owned by the
Transit Company and in our trip we saw every variety
of flower and tree, and every description of foliage
We haYesometimes to rough it, sleep on the ground
and eat anything we are fortunate to get; bu
would rather live in this way than board at the St
Charles. This is glorious country, and well worth
fighting for. ES =s.- W ..