The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1856-08-09
NEWpOR I.


Pertcrmiag Dogs and Mookeys-Bipeds and Quad
Tapeds-BGth;ag lSctass-IHe Sm;thaoodles al
Nc'cpcrf-B Bathing Costumes alphabetical Beau
hfs- The Steamship Isabel and the NeDporf Nclos
Effects Of Sfeam--Loretta Shod-Lite Presercers
for Ttcc-lfus.cei Fems-La Grange--Go.ts-
chclk and the Gcyaanicps.
: We have here at present the performing
monkeys and puppies, for particulars of whose
justly celebrated performances see snail! bills.
There is, however, marked difference between
these interesting animals and the two legged breed
which diff into Newport with the incoming tide of
summer visitors inso1 UGH tue four legged speci-
mems already alluded to have keepers who control
their pranks while tie bipeds at large and IT
their capers pro bono pa6lieo. Now, this may seen
a very abrupt, not TO say uncharitabe opening to a
seaside episte, but for the life Of me cannot help
it, for am in Ill ratured vein this afternoon, or
to more expressive though less elegant phrase,
as cross as fony bears, snd moreover IN disposed
TO be- cynical and 10 anatomize neighbors'
sho,t ,omings accordingly. Let US, then, take up
humLGg No. !.
You are a yisiicr at Newport you are there for
the rest OF the season-Jou have done the Falls,
West Point, Lake George and Saratoga, aud are
now prepared to 60 The entire animal as fashion.
able man, at the sea side; or perchance you may be
an invalid DR.. solns Gyster, o. Homeopathic
Sux, N. D., has recommended change Of scene, and
q more hrsciug air with generous and stimulating
diet You are st Newport TO carry out Bolas or
Sux's idea. VOC tried Saratoga You drank the
waters roely-s couple Of gallons Of Congress or So
n dav-but somehow II didn't have the desired ef
lect SO you have conc down TO Newport, to baihe.
scene. the Ocean Hose porch--time, ten O'Clock
Ana blazing mogning-thc SEA breeze has NJ,
ye. crep in-the dust lays heavily upon everything
The beams &C last nights late hours and sherry
ccbhlcrs seen converted into sticks in your a. yet
half oTened eyes. But never mind, you are going t.
tathe-wlth "yow party"-the Smithnoodes--aud
row rattle OF shocS, cloud Of dlst, getting il
OF suspicious locking garments, little mystery
about mysterious packages, and you are safely e..
sconccd IN the right hand front seat corner OF your
aristocratic friend, John Smiihnoodles equipage,
John Emithnocdie 10 introduce him properly, be-
ipr retired tallow chandler, wno, since be has,
ike Mr. Phenix Mcbride,
Risen from lis ssaes,
il better known az the husband Of Ms. Smith.
noodle.
Your conveyance like roots wardrobe, is "fish'n-
able hut very dear" Yonr companions are smit..
noodle, Pore, who looks as II he woui be Infinitely
more comfortable over box OF adimaltines Or
"best sperm than IN a carriage AID hrOalcloth. he
Is fat--noi . say cbuckle headed-vith pleaty oi
yellow forehead end very little hair; and, 70 crown
all-the last mentioned item should have done thai
rich. oily vulgar laugh that Is 40 nat raj to hin.
SnitbnoodIe asle sits beside her lesser halffor il
he he fst she l. ponderous She Is an overgrown,
overiIessed, oyerpompous, and altogether vulgar
woman, with an Independent swing as she walks,
and a way CT setting her head on one side, like a
! duck in q thunder storm, which she considers
| intensely graceful.
Add Mr.. Augustus Mortimer snthaoodle the
soma three legged animal, 10 shanghae collar,
/ wonderfully tgh, patent leather boots, and Incl.
pient moustache; and yet another parsonage, In the
4 shape Of Miss sophy Araminta, the only daughter
| OF the house OF smIthncodie-a scraggy girl with
| lean arms long shoulders no style, and extra0rdi.
| nars hoop-aad your party Il sketsbed %.
| We win pass over your conversation on the way
IT. suaice 10 soy that Il i characteristic--lsst
nights hop-Mrs. AS dress--Mrs. BIS bonnet, aud
blrs. C.'s prctcnions 70 being admitted into COR
! sciH (Nf il a retired cabinetmaker) being thc
most promCeni themes. Nor win We comment upon
! the dusty bal nile lnye-ihe heat-the blessed relief
Of meeting TIE Era, swell Of the sea o. ron rattle
down The hil--tbe picturesque appearance 70 TIC
teach,with w. Tong array Of canvass c0vere bathing
cars, end Teton ooklng vendors % bathing tickets
( who inform yOu that valuaNes can lie lett 1T the
OIL e. 10, We vii suppose you already cost lmcd
Tor tie auff, snd reuue or note tlking at tic
point where yu BRING up tho rear o. the NTH
/ noodles a. tbey rec down with 4 sort Of h03
skin and lamp q breast tho opposing waves
| Oh heavens, what q change I'VE ore y disin'e
rested spcctator-paldon Us, then, for We set dowr
| naaRht in malice, IL we should uDcOasciously max
| vou look ike fools In painting y0l from the lie
We wont mention yourself, brit Coht0rc TO stick 9
the suitbnoodles. Smithnoodle ptrs, leads TIE van
in hlUe flannel and sou'-westcs. To what shall "
liken BIN A hipp0p1tamus az play, an eepban
Xxi ,knqup Lis heels. lasl alas! how are the might
fallen, n this John smithnoode, Esq. one Of VI
bIeased lev who never ask for ds,o1nty is this "a
President and Bank Director But cvca Cesl
must unitnd a timts, and lQl a. we aazc dow
goes tbo chucklohead aud up come The stunPy cg
which pertain to Smithn0odle, senior. B1i le3 hta
hattie with tln breakers and uphold a. best lie ca
tie ample Mmfu which he has taken for better o
foi worse. We have a sghter form % robe--the vi
snithn0odie, her plntaloons (they cali them fuih