The Evansville daily journal. [volume] (Evansville, Ia. [i.e. Ind.]) 1848-1862, 1856-06-06
LOCAL DEPARTMENT.
UP TOWN ITEMS.
REPORTED BY UP TOWN ESQ.

ALMOST EXHAUSTED But for the intense and growing
interest with which the "Up Town" column is looked
for by the magnates and deberatve bodies of Europe
to-days of the Evansville Daily Journal would be
minus that interesting feature. Like the whaemans
lime when the struck Leviahan sounds the dark unfah
'bmed depths of the ocean. Sn the limited measure Of
up Towns ideas nearly all "payed" out. Inc
turbulent elements of human life seem to sleep. Noth
ing that comes Gnder his cognizance has transpircd
worth recording, since he last reported himself LaZy
ways the world amo tagging Units orbit, asifits axes
were frozen up and clogged with ice bergs To saytha
times are growing dull hardly expresses the true state
of things. Not like the times the boys used to have
when successive Campaigns were fitted out agahstthe
aggregate real estate of the whole mundane premises
under divers military monopoliss. Great Ceasarl
what catalogue ofs'items" were then. ~Wouldh't"Up
Town. have cut it fat. though. Wasn't glorious
tem' when the little handful of Laeedemenian heroes
made that old Persian libuster at Thermopylae con-
cude that he had met harder of stumps, than he
barganed for. In those days editors were able to pay
taiors bills with bankable funds; and ragufin news
boys gathered in rapidly the pieces of silver as they
as they made the streets ofSpara ring withher cries OF
ates from the seat of war; and that too in genu
Greek. Those were classic days, people then dldnI
defe their months with a mongre Angte-Gaellic'NCr'
man, Franco Hispano Solar onic ADO
riginrl-Saxon. No indeed, friends mutnous Catalina
preached
Sallust has handed down for modern sophmOres to
sweat over; and that toDguetied stump speaker who
told the Athenan rabbe that General Philip just from
Macedon just what he ought to have been; SIAM
mered perfectly chase greek and even the rabbe
understood it, without the aid of Lexicon 1t was
Classic age.
And then again, what lucky set of fellows were
those aboriginal tribes of the earth, in respectto their
communications from foreign parts. Did domestic
rite in ia m
only necessary to provide some messenger with pass
ports for heaven Internal regions travelling
correspondent special reporters; and trie for faith
Caron who keeps the ferry, should the messenger
go down that way for there always something
happening among their celestial, Internal and medae
rial dvinities who held in even higher appreciation the
substantial luxurics of life than mortas themselves
were capable Of And besides those progressive nations
ad an occasional opportunity aor led ofearning the
lis that t) of diplomacy from their extra-mundane
sources King Jupiter wishes to send embassy with
special dispatches to the court of his Sable high
ness who hoursheth hoofs, horns and birbed cauda
appendage Owing to the peculiar geological structure
ofhG region intervening the decided lack ofmate atty;
it had $een found mpractcabo to drive down posts and
extend Geographic wire; faithful Mercury is COM
missoned as minister plenpOtentary and envoy
ordinary to the Plutonian court.
He hob nobs with Jove bowl of nectar, and
starts his way. Just, though as he is about mid
way this wilderness of Space half dreaming under
the inebria.ng potions the printers travelling cores
pondent intercepts him. malets him the head with
his caduceus robs him OF his dispatches, and then
waddles back earh give to his patrons in the next
mornings issue of the Mars Hill FLASH, the secret
cerresp ndence of the gods, together with few PEN
cilIings by the way side, by himself few days after
wards the police column presents report of the inter-
esting case of COeL, reLGtione NercHrii,
sus Seri6bEerius TypOgrGpAieus, AssGltas ct OerbE
ratis injuria personals, which rendered in q more
modern dialect, would read
STATE OF INDIANA, ON RELATIoN OF MERCURY, AGAINST
JOHN SMITH, Assault AND BATTERY, &U.-And so il
In those Gays editions grew fat and the papers
read, because there always something worth
reading in them. Alas-alas-how degenerate now
Cease We nper mills and We rivers of molten lead run
buIs or sung- for awhile, rather than type fol
newspapers that the world may again recover its pr
meval purity. But it's alkin' folks, Cup Tewn'
hasn't got nary item to day. The City Recorder
last seen looking very Ominously at some dogs down
street-then cloud of dust and kiyi. ki-y chorus
If canine anatomy had for some inexpIicable
suddenly left certain locaityand nothing has since
been heard either OF Squire or the dogs.
IT. We have good story hand about and con
corning an editor doctor, lawyer, Dutchman an'
sick COW in sings, which modesty fcrbear telling
until the opportunities of expeetant public compe
Add, aud Doc can't we levy black mail on your
Whatll you give Cup Town, Esq" to be mum.
@SUNDRIEs.- ~.