Eaton Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1843-1856, 1856-02-21
prn, paste h tti5sors
Uls that I / c b4 my n.
UViltue bringsit, own reward.

GFVhtue bringsita own reward.
gTA Disconnected Family-PoveIty, Pride
and Laziness.
TnE MOST DlFFlcuLr ASCENT Getting up
subscription.
QrA Cotfsh breakfast and an Inda rubber
coat " i'll keep q man dry all dry.
CTWhch is the best TO m Ike coat last 2
Why, make the vest and trousers FIRST.
| UTA quarter of on ounce OF lea witt draw
ten women togeber--a gill Of ale, two men.
DTf you wish to get "teeth inserted" ga
and steal fruit where they keep big bull
dog
| MA spindle-shanked dandy is palpably a
Vagrant, inasmuch as lie has no visible means
OF support.
| dj'"It is all around my hat" as the hypo-
critic said when he put on mourning for his
departed wife.
| uFA writer in Putnam's Mqgosine says:--
al wishl were q Niger" He probably would
hot require much alteration.
| >EFA lady asked her physician il snuff was
! Injurious 10 the brains. "No," said he "fot
nobody who has any brains never takes snuff.
HARD UP.-Our Derilsays, that if Printing
Offices were selling for fifty cents dozen, he
couldn't raise money enough 10 buy shooting
stick.
| GT"It is very curious" said an old gentle
man, few days since to bis friend, "that a
watch should be perfectly dry when it has a
running spring inside"
| WA boy at school in the West, when call
ell 10 Iecite his lesson in history, was asked
"What is German Diet - Sour krout, pret-
zels, schnapps, blut wurst and lager beer,'
was the reply.
p"Shon," said Dutchman, "you may
say what you please bout bad neighbors es
never was. Mine pigs and mine hens comes
home NIT der ears split, fodder day two Of dem
come home missing"
1 aJ"Go ii, old fellow" said two idle scape-
graces, to an honest loborer at work. "Work
| away while we play-sow and we'll reap.'-
"Verg likely, my lads" rered the old man,
coolly, clam sowing hemp"
rT"I have lost my appeti ti,e," said a gigan-
tic Irish gentleman, and an eminent performer
on the trencher, TO Mark Supple. al bope,"
said Supple, "no poor man has found it, for it
would ruin him for ever. a...
MA lady who had refused 10 give, after
hearing q charity sermon, had her pocket
picked as she left the church. On making
the discovery she said, "lf God could not find
the way into my pockst, Satan could"
CouaT EXAMINATION. - Magistrate what
brought you here PriSoner--Two police
men, please yer honor. M-Then | suppose
liquor had something to do with ii? P.-Yes,
yer honor, they were both awful drunk.
i UTA rich jour printer has been discovered
out west. He is being exhibited with ring.
tailed monkeys, wild hogs, shaved horses
three. legged calves sud other trinkets. Bar
mum should purchase The troup of comca Ii.
ties. The rich jour alone is worth the whole
batch.
UJA person having purchased wild tur-
key, was extollng the goodness OF wild fowl
in general, and Observed thai in proportion 10
the agility Of the animal, so was his meat the
better. An individual who overheard the OBJ
servation, replied-"F ess must be excellent
then.'
QJHe who is passionate and hasty is gener-
ally honest. 1t is yous cool, assembling hyp-
ocrite OF whom you should beware. "There
is no deception in a bulldog" 1t is only the
book is turned.
PRAcrIcAL "FusIos!" james Thompson
has been convicted in Brooklyn N. Y, and
sent 10 the Penitentiary for three years and
four months, for having two wives--a white
and black one. Fusion papers, please copy,
with comments.
uJ-A constable pursued thief, who took
refuge on stump in swamp, and pulled the
rail after him on which he went out. The
/ constable made the following return: "Sight-
h able-converSible N est comatable in
swampun up Stumpum-ralio."
pThe King Of The Cannibal Islands thus,
eloquently addresses his iie.guard on the SUBJ
ject of agitation: "Mjhiu pg NJ tpvm! jig
d zpv zfu newt zpvS voxpsuiz tmpwf, tfocn mjof
NJ if bsu il csf tioh xjui hsifg Doe mpofmjof,t,
cps xjuipvu uif mjgt j esf bs."
h 0E EShun man who doesn': pay his com
G plimentS 10 the ladies'. He who is wanting iT
J. honor towards curls and corsetS, will invaria
d bly, attempt to dodge the grocer, tailor ant
d butcher. FaitheSSneSS 10 the diminity insti
tuition is sure sign Of a want Of principle, p
e ETY. and good "bringing up"
: U'Mrs. Partngton having Just completed
s the furniture fxcnS of her country mansion OIL
u shut too (chateau,) says 'that she has hay
% rack in The hall, squat,o man on the stare
way, Sophia and o slide board in The Dinah
u room, o century table in the parlor and 'Th,
Seuen Mile Mirror on the mahtel. piece
DThe Buffalo Express says The authc, 8
is this rhyme deserves 10 be"nipped by unime
ly fross:"
It IT'S winter, and no more the breezes
Buz among The budding trreezes,
= And vile boys with ragged trowses,
y Shivering homeward drives the cowses,
a Newly fost bit are his toSeS,
And bless my life how cold his nose is !
" An exorter in church in Brooklyn. durin
q prayer meetings, carries pack Of cards in hi
:, pocket-his own business cards--and whel
y pentenis come forward 10 the anxious seat, h
writes Scripture text upon each card, an
ID offers them 10 the convicted sinners for specis
le contemplation. This kills two birds with on
le Stone--adveriises his business and comfort
the souls OF the contrite; and the good brothe
" finds religious matters 10 pay extremely we'll
:. A SUMMERsET-A tipsy customer, who wa
seated on the box with o stage dnver, swaye
until he tumbled cff. The mud was deep an
~ he fell SOFT "There, now p' he exclaimed
is as he crawled out Of tbe slough; al knew yo
er would upset il you didn't take Gaze" On be
n ing told that they had not upset, he echoed i
j. smazemenl. "Not upset II had know
that wouldn't have got of ("