Eaton Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1843-1856, 1856-02-07
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! Ij'Whea does man look like cannon
ball When lie looks round.
TFLough at no man for his pug nose-you
can't tell what may yturn up.
dJ1The reputation OF many men depend on
the number Of their friends.
% Men are like words; when not properly
placed, they lose II their value.
GrThe speaker who "tooli tie floor" les
been crested for stealing lumber"
gFTo prevent dogs from killing sheep, cat
their heads off before they can run about.
6J Blessed is the woman whose husband
has wooden leg, as she will have but ere
stocking TO knit
GTFanny FERNS next issue is expected 10
make more noise in The world thah her last.
So somebody says what knows.
aY"Down the middep' bnwed the idller
10 the dancers, and down he went fiddle and
oil, through Tie hatchway from the 9Th story.
0T A coiemporary undertakes to discuss
what he calls "knntty question:" Can he
unite anything knolty! Echo answers, "nOt
lhe."
uFA "Confjence" Man'-Tbe man who
thinks he can help good look ing servant
girl 10 "cord the bedsteaJ" without getting his
heed broke by his wife.
GTA country-grave digger was asked hoN
he liked his bushes. He said he liked It
pretty well, but should like it better il he had
steady employment
49, L.. d..
bread making. 1t is very wrong. They are
both sacred. One refers TO the highest int
rests of the heart, and the other TO those Of
the stomach. Young men will pleas chalk it
down in their hats.
IVA late London paper informs its readers
that the "Nebraska territory Of the United
States is tract Of several millions Of acres,
lately purchased by the Americans from the
) Mosquito King"
RTWomen need marrying much more thaa
men. The girl who lives beyond thirty with
out husband, withers like lily with its drink
stopped. Bachelors Of that age however are
as rosy vermilhon.
. ORIGINAL REcIrE.-If child shou ID swallow,
by accident, anything po son0us, good emetic
: NAV be obtained from the rust of old iren.-
Perhaps it would be safer 10 cram down :he
= infants throat ga wise saw" or a rusty prov
) erb.
HysWell, George asked friend OF young
lawyer, who had been admitted about year,
'how do you like your new profession p The
reply was accompanied by brie sight 10 suit
the occasionally profession is much better
y than my practice"
k ftT'BhI, did you ever go to scar Iguess
0 did. Last year, for instance, ! went 10 See
: red headed girl, but only called once
'Why sop Because her brother had an un-
t pleasant habit OF throwing boot-iacks and
5 smoothing irons at people.
0NTA countryman entered Mr.. Whipple's
Doguerreotype saloon, Boston, few days
: since, and wished Dnguerreo;ype of his un-
y u cle al can do i, sir; but where is hep
"Oh, he's dead" was the simple reply; "but
I've got description Of him in an old bass
port"
GT"In Cork" said O'Connell, al remem-
q Der a supernumerary crier, who had been pu.
in place Of an invalid, trying 10 disperSe til
, crowd, by eXcIalmlng, with Stentoran voice
. 'All you b!ackguards that isn't lawyers, lave
p the presence OF the court intireY, or III maj e
e ye, by the powers""
ITBoss want twenty FIVE cents said a
n Jour printer 20 lis employer. Twenty.f
= cents? How soon do ynu want itJake. Next
Thursday. As seen as that? You can't have
l. il; | told you often that when you were in
70 want of so large O sun of money, you must
III give at least four weeks notice.
!. a WISE IDioT.--A country clergyman by his
f. dull monotOnouS discourse, set all his congre-
CATION asleep except an idiot, who set with
open mouth listening. The parSon enraged,
r and humping the pulpit, xc!aimed--"W hati
all asleep but this poor diot?' cay" quoth
at the natural; "and if had not been a poor
or idiot would have been asleep, too
T A FAIR HIT.-A lady writer in an Eastern
o paper says, that she saw day or two since, a
T. lady passing along the streets, clad in heavy
~ cloak and furs, while by her side troted )
l little girl, with very short dress; and adds
~ that, in her estimation, little girls dress
~ ought 10 reach the small Of her back, in all
W conscience, at least.
il GTAn OLD gentleman, in one of the stage
re sleighs, the other morning, audibIy wondered
er what caused the uncommon severity Of the
III weather. "Why," grumbled mutfled per.
he sonage near to him, "when Dr.. Kane left the
sy North Pole, he forget 10 shut the hack dooi
I'd after him"
!, tT-There is something beautiful in the fol-
"a lowing lines;
~ ~ Take the bright shell
: From its home on the sea,
u And wherever it goes
'. 1t will sing of the sea,
k. SO, take the fond heart
From its home and its hearth,
Twill sing Of the loved
Al. i II ~