Cooper's Clarksburg register. [volume] (Clarksburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1851-1861, 1856-12-26
From the Humors of FaIconbridge.
THE OLD RLACK BULL.

THE OLD BLACK BULL.
LIS poor human natur', all out, to
wrangle and quarrel now and then, from
the kitchen to the parlor, in church and
state. Even the fathers Of the holy tab
ernacie are not proof against this little
weakness; for people will have passions,
people will belong to meetin', and people
will let their passions rise, even under
the pulpit. But we have no distinct re-
collection Of ever having known a misdi"
rected, but properly interpreted letter, to
settle chuckIy ''plug muss," SO efficient
ly and happily as the case we have in
point
Old John BuIkley (grandson of the
once famous President Chauncy) was a
minister Of the gospel, and one of the best
edieatsd men of his day in the wooden
nutmeg State, where the immGrtal or
ought to be) Jonathan Trumbull was
e. "around," and in his youth. Mr.. Bulk
ley was the first settled minister In the
town of his adoption, Colchester. Connec-
tieut. 1t was with him, as afterwards
with good old brother Jonathan (Gover-
nor Trumbull, the bosom friend of Gene
raj Washington. good to confer on al
most any matter, scientific. political, or
religious-any subject, in short, wherein
common sense and general good to all
concerned was the issue. AS a philo-
sophical reasoner. casuist. and good coun-
sellor, he was ''lOoked up to- and abided
by. 81
1t so fell out that q congregation in
Mr.. Bulk:ey's vicinity got to loggerheads
and were upon the apex Of raising "the
evil one" instead OF a spire to their
church. as they proposed and split upon.
The very nearest they could come to a
cessation of hOstiliIes, was to appoint a
committee OF three, to. Walton MIR. Bulk.
ley, state. their case, and get him 10 sdiu
dicAte. They waited on the old gentle
man, and he listened with grave attention
to their conflicting grievances.
a II appears to me-" said the old gem
tlemsn, " that this is a very simple case
"a very trifing thing to cause you so
much vexation."
$50 say" says one of the committee.
{" don't call it trifing case, Mr..
Bulkley." said another.
"No case at all" responded the third.
It amt, eh ?'' 6ercely answered the
first speaker.
NO, it amt. sir t. quite as savageIy
replied the third.
q It's anything but IL tritiing case, any
how" echoed number two, Z" to expect
to raise the minister's salary and that
, new steeple' too. out OF our snail congre-
CATION" ,.,s ..
q There is no danger of raising much
out Of goa, anyhow, Mr.. Johnson" spite
fully returned number one.
g Gentlemen, if you please" beseech-
ingly interposed the sage.
"a haven't come here, Mr.. BulkIey, to
, quarrel" said one.
"Who started this ?" sareasticalIy an
swered Mr.. Johnson.
{" Not me. anyway" number three re-
plies.
You don't say l did. do you ?" says
number one.
- gentlemen i-gentlemen +"
'-Ar. Bulkley. you see how it is; there's
Johnson
. Yes. Mr.. Bulkley." says Johnson,
a. aad theressold Wrinkles, too, and here's
Deacon Potter also"
ana here" stiffly replied the deacon,
and l am sorry the Reverend Mr.. Bulk
ley hnds me in such company. sir!
Now. gentlemen, brothers, if you
plea e." said Mr.. Bulkley. " this is ridic.
e" So l say" murmured Mr.. WinkIes.
% AS far as you are concerned. it is ri
diculous." said the deacon.
This brought Mr.. Wrinkles up. stands
ing.
"Sir r. he shouted, !" sir !''
but my dear Sirs-" beseechin gly
said the philosopher.
%"SiF! continued Wrinkles, sir!
am too old man-too good Christian,
Mr. eBulkley. to allow man, mean, deS-
pieable toud, like Deacon Potter"
EDO you call me-me a despicable
&otd "' menacingly cried the deacon.
"Brethren." said Mr.. Bulkley, "it 1
am 10 counsel you ia your difference. IL
must m nave no more of this unohristiau-
like bickeriug.' .-7
Johnson. ',. ..
"Nor don't want to. sir" said the
deacon. " but when man calls me a
toad. mean. desPicable toad |
Well, well. never mind," said Mr..
huxley; !" you are all too excited now:
g home again, sRd wait patiently; on
'eatnfday evening next, will have pre-
pared and sent to you a written opinion
y your case. With . full and free avovall
q most wholesome advice for preserving
your eaugch. hem dasolation and your
selyss from dssPair.i'o And. the, commit
tee LETT. TO await his issue. , -
NOW IT Ghanced that Mr.. Bulkley had
small farm. some distance from the town