Smyrna times., 1856-12-17
Correspondence Of the Smyrna Times.
Ladies' Hoops--n Spy" in a !" Stew"

Correspondence Of the Smyrna Times. w
Ladies' Hoops--n Spy" in j" Stew" ="
! Mr. Editor I'm, ina perfect stew--rve wi
been in perfect stew for six months-i'm in a lw'
perfect stew continually expect to be in q r,
perfect stew as long as the present 5rder Of
things continues I'm prosecuted man, cru da
ely persecnted-my whole sex is prosecuted q al
and I, for one, am bound to be repenged! I d
tell YOU it's too much for poor human nature to !
bear, and won't stand it any longer. rm de-
termined to have revenge, and the very first I
Walking -Tabernacle-of Whaebone that dares C
TO interfere with my plans shall feel my indig-
nation. | have suffered till " forbea rance has
ceased to be virtue - and, now, the fair sex
(if there is any fair sex) may look out for
breakers" 4 always tried to act the part oi
4 gentleman, and have been considered some.
thing of q ladies' ma n, but the outandish, rdcu-
lous una probabilities of the present female
fashions have killed me off," Yes, sir, I'm
killed, absolutely ANNIHILATED-and can't en- |
dure it. tell you, I'm in perfect stew. ]
havnt been within reach of lady for about a
II dogs age and, the fact is, | can't get within
d reach of them any more. can gaze at them,
d like great gawky fool, at a distance-but it's
no use venturing close up, for, the moment /
D. get within fifteen or twenty yards, they begin
to to back off, and draw their calico around them,
oil as much as TO say "keep off,; and, I'm bound
to keep off At first 1 didn't understand the
n, dodge, but soon found out they were afraid of
,e getting their bones dislocated their whaebones
10 [ mean), and, as I'm rather a modest man, l
thought I'd not bother them about their lattice
work any more. I'm done with all interference
with calico and dimity for a season or two, but
- | tell you what they'll hear curtain lecture o
=" more as sure as I've got tongue. It'sutterly
ridiculous. ruined two pair of EAToN's bes
ey Doeskin unmentionables during the last camp
eu' meeting, trying to get used to the c.nfounde
hoops, but couldn't succeed, and SO knocke
"n, under. never gave up anything before, but
and tell you had to A." cave in" this time. Whale
bone, white-oak aud cast-steel were too muc
ink for me, and gave up the enterprise. | though
ut the sensible portion of the fair sex themselvt
would soon see the absurdity of enVelopin
[un. themselves in network of fish-bones al
the ship-cordage; but, for once, didn't think Il
TRUTH for, in spite of the ridiculous outlandis
ness of such garb, the skirts go on increasir
'"e in size till verify believe it'll soon take tv
e"' carriages for lady to ride out in. In fact,
ro' don't believe we've got any sensible WON,
"'" nowadays It's shocking to contemplate t
ak effects Of this growing evil. ! say it's shoe
% ing; yes it's absolutely horrifying! My frie
'"' Tom says, his wife's skirts have grown so enC
~ nous that she can't get into the kitchen TO pl
'o"' pare his dinner when the maid happens to
c" absent, and she has actually petitioned him
''e" have the front door enlarged, so that she C
'"' get out Sunday mornings without turning /
o'' hoops side-up in presence of the passers-by.
III I'm glad I've got no wife just at this time,
ago | suppose, if had one, she'd have no M
hIch sanse thar o,ber neonle,s v;voe and vor, 70
ehd built around with dozen or two twenty.f
re- strips of whalebone, and then should certain
go distracted; yes, should cut my own thr
: he i know | should. In fact | believe sh
lg be go crazy anyhow. My sisters, and CT
aKeG sins, and all the rest all creation believe,
short the rest of womanknd too, have been carr
away by this terrible delusion-this niquto
ridiculous, ludicrous, scandalous, super-abo
. uable rage about hoops; and it's my hon
L conviction that, if there isn't some stop put
g., the practice, we shall be ruined. Ruined
ro.. say, the world will be utterly and irrecovera
. :, lost! tell you what, it's too bad. wish
-. women would come to their senses, if d
;.n. have any senses! I'm nearly beside mys
,rsor 49, - 'o"s w
!" OF ". "''e .""" N's"'s Noh'eh'lo
!, L. If something isn't done soon, we are ruin
~I, RUINED !! RUINED!!! .t....s +.
been Smyrna, Dec. 18th, 1856. SPY