The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1856-11-05
For the date City.
Miscr,c. Of a Tenmmt.

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We rent house. We rent it too, TO the
exclusion of al other tenants, and there il no
other legal claimant to possession. II is .
large house, and yet we have use for every
niche and corner, from the cellar which ID not
dug, to the sky parlor, where the chamber
maid roosts. Our lease guarantees peacea-
Bile and undistnrbed possession. That lease
is fraud. We moved our traps and caami-
ties into that house in good faith, and ex-
pected our landlord intended to keep his
promises Alas for the frailty of human
hopes! We no sooner find ourselves en-
sconced within the four walls, than We also
find it has other occupants who refuse to
quit. We serve notice on them and they
give it no attention save to have grand jjol-
LITIGATION over it. We found after several
legal processes tina, lawyers could do no good,
and SO we consulted the college Of physi-
scians. They recommended strong pnrga-
tives, and we gave them Brandreth's Pills for
week regularly, and then resorted to Ep-
som Salts and jalasp, and sundry other
agents that are warranted to clear out every
thing, and yet our o-tenants seem to enjoy
our society hugely. Their very hilarity is
source Of annoyance to us, and We have half
mind to tell them so. Only last night they
held ratification meeting, and such time
never was known before among that domes-
tic family OF rats. When the jsllifcation
FIRST opened we were asleep, but not long left
in ignorance that something was going to
happen. We are not timid man, but with
a noise like the drumming Of thousand
tin pans Just over our head, was ii wonder
that we applied our elbow to our wfe's
left rib, and asked her what in the DIS
to comprehend the extent of the jubilee, for
she simply turned over, and requesting US to
60 to sleep, said it was only rats. Rats?
What right had they to play hide and seek
behind our wainscoting, and dance cotllons
above our head to their own squealing ? Go
to sleep? One could as we'll climb greas-
ed pole or get to the top Of tread mill,
when she more you 20 up, the more you
don't get up any higher. We hallooed at
them, but the only effect was, sail hands
round" and a double shuttle. The hulabaloo
didn't stop. We used one or two moderate
/ explosives, mt which our tormentars set up o
he! he about rs pleasant to listen to as the
/ torture forced screachings of an INCREASED
wagon hub. Wrath was impotent, and we
/ resorted to moral suasion. We took down our
billie and began reading. ooh! thou wick
ed and perverse generation, turn We from the
cats to Gomez That did no good, but the
ratification went on, and We began to doubt
the effect OF precept. We got considerably
excited, and went to the hall door for the
purpose Of stating the terms of our lease,
and to cxpostuate with the jewellers for their
unseemly conduct We got into the hall and
suddenly changed our purpose, simply be-
cause We stumbled over o pile of ale bottles
that had been emptied by boarder, with
whom winter does not agree. That is all
|, right, Of course. Ale is good, and delicate
people have right to consult their health.
|. Well when We found ourself rolling over
that pile OF bottles, it occurred to us that
we could persuade our enemies to desi st
from their reves. An ale bottle has often
accomplished such feats. So we armed our
self with half q dozen bottles, and crept
cautiously up stairs. When we came in
sight, bang went bottle, scatter went the
rats, oil but one, that seemed to have sud-
den attack Of the cholc Ale often has that
effect on bilious constitutions, and we con-
cluded he would recover without medical as
sistancc, and so we went back. We Just
got comfortably snoozing again, when whiz,
squeal, rattle, scatter, went our co-tenants.
We sat right up in bed and mentally con-
signed those domestic rats to his Satanic
Majesty. We didn't sleep any more after
wards, Blu, at early dawn started in pursuit
of the biggest kind Of cat. We found
one, and made conditional bargain for a
rat terrier also, and II we don't execute
condign punishment upon those rats, our
name isn't Alisr JULEr, ESQ.
Punch ON ldGo Insurance.
b,neh - g..