Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1856-03-13
CURIOUS SERMON.

The following discourse, delivered by that
"same old coon" the Captain Of Mississip-
pi fiat boat, at Hard Shell Baptist protrac.
ted meeting at Tinicum, on Thursday even
ing last, was phonographically reported ex-
pressly for The Mercury by "Samuel the
Scribe" who was one of the anxious inqui.
rers on that solemn and interesting occs.
sion:
My friends: Since I had the pleasure,
Nv holdin' forth to the benightcd an hea-
,henist rapscallons Nv Brandon, Mississippi
on the subjeck-"An, he played on harp
Nv thousand strings, spcrrets Nv just men
made perfeck'-the sperrit hath moved
me to take up my bed and travel and after
visiting divus places, am propagatin' the
Gospill to varus nominations, have at last
fotched up, bless the Lord, 'lnOng the Hard
Shells Of Tinicum. My text this evcuin,'
my brcthering, will be found somewhar
tween the books Of Providence an Mill
kizedick Il think the former) an when
found it will be read somewhar near as fol-
lows: "whar no wood is, there the fire goeth
out--au' they played on simbols, dullsi.
mers, jcwsharps and dimmyjohns."
"Now, my brethcring, Fame gwinc to
say to you as said to the Brandonians ON a
former casion, I'm not an educated man but,
bless the Lord, I'm mighty religush man,
man what's, bornasin--one what expert
cnced the holy ghost, and took religuu in
the natral way-tor ''whar no wood is, thar
the fire goeth out-and they played on SIM
bols, dullsimers, jewsharps and dimmyjohns
''Now, my brethering, prhaps some Nv ye
are wondering an axing yourselves what de-
nominashun I longs to. Well, my friends,
I'm plain spoken man, although I sez it
myself, oughtent to say it, and I'll tell yer
what swayshun longs to. Perhaps some
on ye thinks I'm a Mormon som on ye, per-
adventure, spisshuns I'm Millerite some
moro on ye may kalkalate I'm Methodiss
another Nv ye may imbibe the noshun that
I ar Free Lovyer: but I tells ye, brether-
ing, you are all confoundly confumbusterca-
ted if ye thinks any sich thing; for, in the
language of the tex "Whar no wood is,
thar the fire goeth out-and they played on
simbols, dulsimers, jewsharps and dimmy-
johns.
"Somehow, I oilers tuck amazin 'likin, to
the Baptists, specially to the hard shells
not because I'm particularly fond Of cold
water; for my brethering, I'm not one Nv
them ar sort O Christians that repudiates
good whisky, or looks a gift hoss in the
mouth. Thar's the Rack-shells, the soft
shells, the calm shells, an great many O.
ther kind Nv shells, but my brethering, next
to the hard shells, give the man what shells
out libberly when the contribushun box
goes rcund--for,' whar no wood is, thar the
fire goeth out'-and they played on SYMBOLS,
dulsimers, jewsharps and dimmyjohns.
"Now, my brcthering, having told you
what swayshun longs to I'm gwine to ex-
cmficate and lucidatc on my tex, which
sez-'whar no wood is thar the fire goeth out,
&c. My bretheriug, don't s'pose for the
sixteenth part Nv minuit that the fire We
read Nv in the scriptures will go out bekase
thar's no wood {? No, my Christshun friends,
SO long as the supply of anthersite and brim-
stone holds out it won't make diff Nv Bit