The Nevada journal., 1856-10-31
VIII OLE NUMBER 337

Runaway Darkies, Sharpe's Rifes,
Bowie-knives, Bulldogs, and big muss
generally. He breaches electioneering
sermons, and it is said that he carries his
pocket full of Fremont ballots, and
makes his people take vote en- the
Presidential question every Sunday, to
see that they are all sound on the goose
1t is also asserted that he spends his
leisure hours firing at the ir5n man in
the shooting gallery, and in throwing q
tomahawk at mark occasionally Ia.
rying these delightful occupations by
taking boxing lessons, and learning how
to "gouge" Missouri, taking long drinks
of Aromatic Schnapps between times.
Organist executed great Kansas bat
tie piece in FIVE sharps, with vocal imi-
tations of the shrieks of the settlers and
the curses of the Border Rufians. Then
the minister came up through a trap.
door like the Harlequin in the panto-
mime when the devil has got an invita-.
ton for him-he prayed long prayer
in his overcoat-then he took off his
overcoat and read a hymn, very quick
metre, with very strong chorus-then
he sat down on his overcoat and read
his letters.
The organist made preparations to
gyrate, he rolled up his coat sleeves So
as, not to interfere with his fingers then
he rolled up his pantaloons, so as not to
trouble his toes; then he unbuttoned his
cravat, and loosened his vest-at this
instant very muscular man disappeared
from the ranks in the gallery, vanished
through cubby hole, and was instantly
lost in the anatomy of the organ-then
there was great rafting in the bowels
thereof, as if it could not digest she mus
cular man, but had a great deal of wind
on its stomach.
Then the singing commemorative
opera folks stoodup to earn their money
they sang as if the musical scale had
been CREASED on this occasion, and they
were climbing for a pig on the top of it
they would go up q note or two and
then slip back-each one went one notch
higher than the one before him, but fell
back before he reached the prize, and
his voice subsidized into very discordant
growl low down in his ribs. At last, af-
ter five trials, each one of which ended
in an attenuated squeak, one female with
a mouth like hatchet, loosened her
bonnet strings, made desperate scream
and went so high that she finally got a
firm hold of the oleginous reward of
merit, and bore it off in triumph-then
they all stopped.
! Here the minister read a number of
gratis advertisements for concerts and
| 25 cent pic-nics-then there was another
single handed combat between the or
ganist and his old enemy, and some more
creased pig vocalization by the thousand
dollar choir, after which, the .'star"
preacher began to perform in earnest
he read text and stuck to the subject
for fifteen minutes, giving his hearers
1'fts'' about their shortcomings, when
the plate is passed-then he gave a
glowing description of the joys of Para
aise, and by his eloquent words had got
hs so far into the Spirit Land, that we
could almost hear the departed spiFits
blow their noses, when suddenly he cut
short his high-fown piety, and began to
talk politics and general news-he spoke
Of the state of the stock markets, gave a
notice of the new patent ballot box, a
review of the encouraging prospects of
Fremont, the value of Sharp's rifles, and
the retail price of Schiedam Schnaps.-
Then he gave, with great gusto, de.
lightful account of some imaginary plea,
SAINT transactions in Kansas, wherein a
couple of men were roasted alive in a
burning log cabin, while their wives
were compelled by the Border Ruffians
to superintend the cookery. Then he
} made some very good jokes, at which
the people laughed; then he said some
thing about the aUniop," which they
applauded. ! hould have supposed my
self in mass ratification meeting if the
men hadn't all had their hats off, and
there hadn't been SO many women
Soon he put in word about "Buchan:
eers," and "Black Republicans"-I
thought then 1 was in political meet
ing sure, and expected every minute to
hear No. 5's boys come down with three
times three and a stiger" for BUCK and
Breck!"
Then he took two minutes rest, and
made prayer containing summary Of
the political news of the week-then he
put on his overcoat and disappeared
through the trap door.
The organist played the people out
with grand march, in which a trumpet
solo was very conspicuous, and added a
few dancing tunes by way of keeping
the Sunday School children quiet