Eastern times., 1856-03-06
Screwler was too much surprised and con-

1ounued 10 interfere.
Thus equipped. the passenger made his ap-
pearance at the coach door, and crowding in,
took his place on The middle seat The ladies
Uttered, the men laughed or looked grave, ac
cording to their humor, but our hungry trav-
eller seemed in no way disconnected.
Won't you have dish, and a knife and
fork = asked the landlord, who had recovered
his senses, and came forward, a few moments
after the traveller had seated himself, with the
articles named, presenting them as he spoke
with mock polite air, intended to dash our
hero. But he was not to be thrown of his
guard
Thank you, kindly = he said, bowiug, as
received the dish and carving instruments. 4
had forgotten these .r
As soon as the pair of chickens and the tur
key were adjusted upon the spacious dish,
which the landlord already repenIed having
put In the incorrgsble travellers way, the lat
ter sung out at the top Of his voice
All right, driver. Go ahead!'
Crack went the whip, aud off rolled the
stage, leaving Boniface vexed, angry, and yet
amused at the ludicrousness of the whole
scene.
As for the travellers, all shrunk instructive
ly, from the meat, bread, &C., which had been
so literally provided, while the ladies turned
up their pretty noses, and calculated, in soft,
Disgusting
Hold on here, stranger, will you = said he
of the chickens and turkey. This ricketty
old stage jolts at such a rate that can't carve
my turkey Indicating with his finger, as he
spoke, one side of the spacious dish upon which
reposed his provender.
The individual thus addressed could do no
less than obey the request and then the same
was made TO the other neighbor, who lent the
required aid.
And now, stranger, do you hold this bread
bag ) extending his clean, well-flled handker-
chief 10 passenger before him. He was, in
answer TO this request, politely relieved of his
bread. eggs, etc.
The dish was now supported on his knees,
and firmly held there by his next door neigh
bors, who began to enjoy the joke, as did most
of his other fellow passengers. In dissectng
the turkey and pair of chickens under all the
disadvanlageous circumstances, he showed
himself skillful carver. The different parts
were nicely separated, and laid about the dish
neatly, and quite temptingly. BY this time
The odor of the fowls had awakened into keen
ness the unsatsfed appetites Of the whole com
pany, who were only waiting for an invitation
10 help themselves. In carving, the accom-
plished stranger had surrounded the edge of
the dish with the pieces of turkey and chicken,
leaving quite space in the centre. Into this
he empted the contents of his pocket handker-
chief, consisting of dozen or so OF boiled
eggs, with bread, cheese, etc.
Now, ladies', he said, lifting the dish, and
turning partly round, so that it rested on the
taut lealhern strap that formed the moveable
back of the seat, and thus was fully presented
TO them-'help yourselves. know you are
hungry
The ladies looked at the tempting exhibi-
ton, coIored and hesitated
- Don't be afraid, he urged. Necessity
knows no law
The temptation was too great for one hun
grler than the rest. who, hesItaIlng no longer,
piece of bread IN the other, and forthwith com
menced operations, not, however, before she
had smiled, bowed, aud said a courteous
Thank you, SIR
The other two ladies followed suit quite nat
uraly, and then the men went TO work in right
good earnest, nor paused until turkey, chick
course, the sauce for all this was good humor,
jokes and funny sayings, in no small quantity.
After the eatabes had fully disappeared, the
empty dish was cast overheard, and all hands
composed themselves, in the best temper pos
sible, with themselves, each other, and all the
world, Boniface not excepted.
Two hours and half afterwards, the stage
brought up at Grimes for tea For some time
past, the late dinner arrangement had not af
fected the appetites Of the passengers as it had
done at first, much to the surprise of the
landlord and agent and not little to his re-
gret. On this occasion, however, his guests
seemed more inclined to laugh than eat, and fl.
nally left the table after having taken only one
cup apiece, with 'fixins' in proportion. The
secret of this lurked out before the stage moved
on, 10 the great merriment of Grimes and the
coterie in the bar-room, to whom one of the
passengers related the joke. Among these
was the editor of a country paper.
On the next morning the whole story ap-
peared in print, with names, places and all
detailed with much point and humor. This
account, Parker, who most people thought
knew about as much of the whole matter as
anybody, had put up into the form of hand
bill, two or three of which were circulated
among the passengers in every stage. o
course, Screwler soon became aware of this
fact, and did not venture again to cheat the
passengers out of their dinner, when they