The Ashland union. [volume] (Ashland, Ashland County, Ohio) 1854-1868, 1856-02-13

'Tis the merry, merry sleigh.
@nr GBip 8asktt,
E It has beea satisfactorily ascer-
tanned that ducks enter the water for
divers reasons, and come put for sun
dry purposes
EEA celebrated portrait-painter
says the reason that tom cats are so mu-
sical, is because they are all fiddle
strings inside
* We have heard of a fellow who
was Determined to commit suicide, even
If he should perish in the attempt.
That must have been a brave man.
E A bible and a good newspaper
IN every district, and all appreciated as
they should be, are the support Of vir-
tue, morality, ciEl liberty, and pure re-
ligion
IL Two men fred at an eagle at
enc same time, and killed him. An
Irishman observed, that they might have
saved their powder and shot, for the fall
would have killed him
* A profound writer in the Viii
mington IN. co. Herald says "LoTe
the moon, for she shines in the night, to
give US light in the dark, s0hereas the
sDn only shines IN the day time, 1chen
there Is pEenty Of light, and has assis-
is not 1oanted.n Sir Boyle Roche
could hardly have beaten tba4
* a witty gentleman speaking of
friend who was Frustrated by illness re-
marked that "be could hardly recover,
since his constitution is all gone"
a IF his constitution is all gone" said
~bystander, az do not see how he lives
at alI.n
oh,n responded the wag use lives
on the by laws"
e Lady Mary Duncan was a rich
heiress, and Sir William Duncan was
her physician during a severe illness
One day she told him she had made up
her mind to get married, and upon his
asking the name of the fortunate chosen
one, she babe him go home and open the
Bible, giving him the chapter and verse,
aud he would find out. He did so and
thus he read, "Nathan said to David,
thou art tie man.
A Know SoMETHING.-A miller, in a
midland county, meeting a half-witted
lad one day, said to him.
We'll, Tom, does thou know what be-
est thou thinking on ?"
TO which Tom replied
III knows what I know, and 1 knows
what I dunna know"
How is that Pr qucth the miller, az
lev heard of a man as knowed what
be did not know
"Oh,p rejoinsd Tom, "it's all right.
I know you ha' many fat pigs, but l dun
na whose corn you feed them on!"
Exit mixer With a flea in his earl
A sucker specimen, whose visit
TO the State Fair gave him liberty to
stretch the truth slightly respecting
what he saw in his travels, was detail
ing to a hoosier the immense business
dome IN packing beef in the Garden
City. Said he, "They'kill a million
head q week, and the blood discolors
the water in the lake half a mile from
Shore /" That's nothing" replied the
Hoosier; tat my u%ncle's, down in New
Albany, they have a "trip -hammer, driv-
en- by a forty horsepower steam engine,
Just to knock the cattle down with and
there is 80 much blood that with it they
drive . grist-mill of six run of burrs,
and never stop on account oflow water"
* When Bonaparte's army were
lying in camp, previous to the battle of
Wsterloo, they bitterly complained of
the qualities of their r%ations, especially
the bread. However, they pat up with
ii as long as they could, when a few
men, more daring than q lOo5fsb," went
to the quarters of the attached Commits
sariat General, and told him-"i if you
do not give us better rations we will
hang yox ~ The astonisheg Contractor
Immediately sought an interview with
the Emperor, and told him what had
passed. g Did my men say that, y said
Napoleon. aThey did, SIRE replied
the General. q Well, my friend, I am
certainly very sorrysfor you," said the
Emperor, g for If they said SO, they will