True American. [volume] (Steubenville [Ohio]) 1855-1861, 1856-12-17
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We have always regarded the practice
Of duelllng as relic Of the barbarouS
ages--a custom which is sanctioned nei-
tier by the laws Of religion or of reason,
aad which should be condemned BY every
moral, sober judging man. OF course
the duel is no criterion oftentimes i'll
happens that the professed duelist, when
called upon 70 meet death or danger in an
unwOnted shape, is the FIRST to turn back
and fee.
A few years since, as new England
gentleman, whose name we shall call
Brown, was passing few days at no.
tel in one Of our western cities. he had
the misfortune TO unintentionally offend
the susceptible honor Of a tall Indian
colonel who was one Of his fellow boar.
ders. His apologies not being satisfac-
tory, challenge was sent him. which,
hewever, ha declined, upon the ground Of
conscientious scruples, The colonel,
who, by the way, had won in two or three
encounters, quite reputation as duelist
al once conceived the idea that his oppo.
nent was coward, and resolved to dis.
grace him by Aogging him in the face OF
all the assembled wisdom Of the house.
accordingly, the next day, at dinner time
in marched the duelist, armed with a
formidable cowhids, and advancing to
Browns chair, proceeded 10 dust his
jacket for him in The most approval style.
Brown was aslonished. Luckily he had
been lieutenant Of militia iu his own
native State, and new the importance Of
accommodating his enemy by diversion.
So, seizing the gravy tureen, be tossed
the contents into the face Of this belliger-
ent colonel, and before lha, hero could re-
cover from the drowning sensation thus
ocsasioned. he sprang upon the table and
began TO shower upon him with a lib
eral hand, the contents Of the dishes
around.
You are an Internal
Coward the colonel was about 10
say, but a, that moment plate Of greens
struck full upon his mouth, and the
word was blocked and lost forever!
.Ha! cried the little New Englander
whose blood was now up, fond Of greens
are you I Take potato, loo; and he
hurled telling volley of hard potatoes a,
him excellent eggs here capitol things
with calves head : and crash came ;
plate of soft boiled eggs against The side
of his Uranium.
The blows of The cowhide which hac
hith to descend upon the Yankees heaC
and shoulders, now began to fall more
weakly and wildly, and it became evden
that the assailant half stunned, choke,
and partially blinded, was getting tn
worst of ii. His courage was rapid.
oozing out. ....
take Turkey shouted Brown, Al
noble old gobbler descended upon tn
colonel's head, and bursting filled hi
hair and eyes with delicious looking
slufing and here's the fxings,' he con
tinued as the squash and jelley followe'
after, ......-
By this time the colonel was irreire
tricvably defeated; and his merciless oF
ponent seized huge plum pudding
steaming hol, and holding it above hi
head with both hands seemed about t
bury him beneath it, he quailed in telrol
and throwing down his cowhide tune
nbout and made rush for the door.
Stop for the pudding colonel sto
for the pudding shouted Brown. 'Pul
ding. colonel, pudding, screamed all h
fellow boarders amid convulsons Of laugl
ter, But the colonel was too terrified
listen TO their kind invitations, and dl
not cease running until he had locke
himself into his room,
.Bu, although the colonel escaped fro
the plum pudding. he could not escal
from the ridicule which the affair occa
toned. He subsequently, challenged fo'
persons against whom his ire was partl
ularly excited, and they all consented
Asht, bu, availing ,hemself of!he priv
ege of the challenged party. appoint
pudding bags for their weapons.
length The unhappy duellist finding
one who was willing TO shoot or be ri
at. was obliged to quit the Sta'e.-B'
ton Portfolio.