Thibodaux minerva. [volume] (Thibodaux, La.) 18??-1858, 1856-05-03
Soliloquy of a Loafer.

Let's see where am L? This is-coal I'm
lying on. How'd get here? Yes, mind now
Was coming up street-met wheelbarrow-
was drunk, coming t'other way, the wheelbar-
row, fell over me, or l over the wheelbarrow,
and one of us fell into the cellar-don't know
which now-guess it must ha' been me. I'm
a nice young man, yes am tight tore drunk
Well, l can't help it-taint my fault-wonder
whose fault it's? Is it Jones fault? No. Is
it my wife's fault? Well, it amt Is it the
wheebarrow's fault? No. It's whiskeys fault.
Who is whiskey? Has he a large family? All
poor, l reckon. I think l won't own him any
more. I'll cut his acquaintance. I've had that
n otion for about ten years, and always hate to
do it, for fear of hurting his feelings I'll doit
now-I think liquors injurin' me-it's spoilin'
| my temper.
Sometimes get mad, when Pm drunk. and
| abuse Bet and the brats; it used to be Lizzie
| and the chrildren-thats some time ago I'd
come home O. eyenins, she used to put her arms
| round my neck and kiss me, and call me her
dear William. When | come home now, she
takes her pipe out of her mouth and her hair
out of her eyes, and says somethin like Bill,
you drunken brute, shut the door after you !;
we're cold enough, havin' no fire, 'thout lettin'
the snow blow in that way" Yes she's Bet and
I'm Bill now. l amt good Bill, nuther; think
Pm counterfeit won't pass-a tavern without
goin' in and gettin' drunk. Don't know what
bank Pm on. Last Saturday was on the river
bank-drunk.
stay out pretty late no sometimes I'm out
all night; fact is I'm out pretty we'll all over
out of friends out of pocket, out at elbows and
knees, and always outrageously dirty-so Bet
says; but then she's no judge, for she's always
dirty herself. l wonder why she doesn't wear
good clothes may be she hasn't got 'em whose
faults that?-tain't mine-must be whisky's.
Sometimes I'm in however; Pm intoxicated
now, and in somebody's coal cellar. There's
one principle I've got-I won't get in debt;
| never could do it. There, one of my coat tails
is gone-got tore off, l expect, when l fell in
here. I'll be having to get new suit soon.
A fellow told me, t'other day, that I'd make a
good sign for paper mill. If he wasn't so big,
I'd kikt him. I've had this shirt on nine days,
People ought to respect me more'n they do, for
Pm in holy orders. LIANT dandy, though look
in pretty near Greaseian style. l guess tore
this window shutter in my pants 'tother night,
when sat down in the wax in Ben Rugs shop !;
I'll have to get it mended or-Pll catch cold,
ant very stout as it is. AS the boys says, Pm
| as fat as match: and as healthy as the small
pox. My best hat has been standing guard at
a window pane that went out 'tother morning at
the invitation of brickbat It's gettin' cold
down here; wonder if ant able to climb. If
l had drink, could think better. Let's see !;
1 ant got three cents; if was in tavern, l
could sponge one. Whenever anybody treats
and says ''come fellers," always think my
names "fellers," and I've got too good man
ners to refuse Well, I must leave this, or
they'll arrest me for burglary. I ant come to
that yet. Anyhow it was the wheelbarrow did
the harm-nOt me-