Squatter sovereign., 1856-04-15
yflistellal1eo1s.
Dying Advice of
HONORABLE SIMON SMIRK

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hand, his father spoke to him as follows
Sammy, am dying-at the age of
fifty-five. wish you to pay strict atten-
ton to my dying adyice!'
Father, will"
And wish you to follow my advice
after am dead"
81 will, father
Sammy, the neighbors and all nv
friends tell me haven't an enemy in the
world, and believe I haven't. I want
you to understand why I haven't. It's all
owing to policy. Sam; policy, and nothing
shorter. When was of your age. my
boy, was as poor as a broken-down vii
lage horse, turned out to die. Age has at
last broken me down, but I amt poor,
thank policy! Follow my example, and
you will become richer by far than your
father, Sammy, and die without an enemy,
as do'
Samuel wept, as in duty bound, but
grief and his handkerchief choked his ut
| sSA'ti'GS, 81 IiC- S0Hl
'' 1t has always been my policy" re-
sumed the dying Smirk, 8" to avoid giving
offence to any one. No matter what peo-
pie said OF did to ne-or any one else
bright OF wrong-l have always endeavored
to forbear and submit, wherever l could ;
to be calm and cautious on all occasions,
and to avoid the exhibition of any sign of
resentment. By long experience in this
course, l have found that by persevering
to agree with everybody, skillully, is a
sure eventual guide to universal popu-
larity."
8" But have you never had any difficulty
with any one 2''
:. Not since l was twenty-one," said
tie dying man, gasping for BREATH
Reach me little more water, and wet
my lips. They are too parched TO speak
plain. There, there he added, as his
son obeyed him, " that viii do, and you
shall be initiated into my invariable and
invaluable policy. Be deferential, Sam,
deferential, and control your temper, and
flatter whenever you get chance-haye
a bow, and smile, and a word, and
shake Of the hand for every body-mark i.
for ersrybody-and then you will get
along"
But mustn't be friendly to Williams,
must g
Z" Friendly! humph be friendly to no.
body-see SO. Williams! they compose
two-thirds of the community, and are the
most influential. AS for the other third,
though it is well enough TO keep their
good opinion, they are only subordinate
agents in the building up Of man. But
don't get affronted with them. Oh, no,
Sam; never do that! Never kick dog
unless you are sure he has not any owner,
then kick away, if you have like to-
Though his father was dying, Samuel
could not help smiling at this language.
"That's right" sad the elder Smirk,
81 like that. Smile again, Sam; smile
again. BY smiling / have gained many
friend. But be careful you don't smile
at the wrong time. a smile is powerful,
weapon, but must be used with Judgment
'' Do you know. Sam, why was always
such favorite with the women?"
No, father"
"I was always careful, in the first
place, to feel my way with the women
took care to understand their characters,
their sentiments, their particular vanities
ana hobbies; keeping my own ideas IN
the background until l could coincide
with theirs. l always took care never to
speak disrespectfully of the sex. never,
in the presence of a woman, called wo-
man woman or female I had but
one name-ladies-for all the feminine
gender"
:" How did you do when they differed,
and asked your opinions 2"
st would agree with one, and at the
same time wink at the others silly, as
much as to say, tbs all humbug. what
am saying If woman was ugly. I'D
praise her intellect. If she didn't know
anything I'd praise her virtue. In this
way seldom missed the mark, for it is
very seldom that you find woman that is
ugly, immoral, and fool in the bargain.
In fact, it is hard to find anybody who
hasn't some good point, or who isn't sus-
eeptible TO fialtery ia some way or other
and man must be fool, who, de;ermin
ed to fiatter. and make his fattery accep-
table. can't seize hold Of some merit, IN