Semi-weekly standard. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1853-18??, 1856-01-30

posed to decline the honor Of the riding par
the presiding dgnitary inssts3 ttat ~ as nsssssaa
ry to save the country, aswas also t9s ohnu'oa1s
So they all mounted per force ofcrcuhstanceS anq
suffered the bandages to be tied on without iurther
opposition. - g c,;r MO
portions in consequence OF his having ut All tmes
been we'll supplied with the most savory 1904 anu
| the best French wines and brandics, took few
steps backwards SO as to give himself good view
of the first and only band Of true Americans, and
nlcasnely strokcd his whiskers and smoothed back
his hair to show to the best advantage ms ample
forehead and stood silent for moment, rs II IN the
deepest thought. The captain, who rode before,
and whose business it to keep the peg in Sans
forehead properly adjusted, looked inquirng'y in
the Presidents face, as if awaiting Instructions, rs
likewise did the behind riders. Then the President
| raised his head suddenly recollect'ng himself,
and after initiating his lungs to the utmost and lean
ing back slightly past a perpendicular, began inc
following address with smile as be%ltch'ng as
coquettes:
CAPTAIN AND FELLow-ADvENTURERs: You arc
now en- the Threshold of great achievement. and
cannot suffer you to leave me without few words
of admonition. You will meet enemies, my dear
souls wherever you go, but am sure you will new
er falier if YOU cease not to bear in mind that your
cause is your countrys and your mission that OF up
holding and maintaining the Protestant religion
And here let inc make special confidential
communications to you. In your intercourse with
the public you are to be all things to all men, and
nothing to any man. The Democrats, you know,
hold all the offices in this country we want them;
at any rate your humble speaker .'ants one, and, II
can get it, by the grace of God you shall have the
lest. But on this head you must preach one thing
and practice another; for Ipresume you will admit
it is harm to lie little, if SO be one can make
dollars by the operation. Though we are under
oaths YOU are to understand not in a court
of chancery, or likely to be. Therefore, when we
are in public we must say we do not want men to
hunt offices, but the offices men; this will please
the people and give them confidence i'll the honesty
of our assertions
As to the foreigners you to speak against Them
without ceasing; not much that they are danger
Gus or really to be feared but because there is al
ready some prejudice against them, and by being
judicousy famed, the little fire, you know, soon be-
comes great cont1agra'ion. The devil bit DO we
care about them, so make capital out of their
coming. When we once get the people alarmed
they'll come to their true delvercrS as certain
ly as water runs down hill. While our enemies arc
proving US liars we'll get into office; for true knave-
ry you know shows his real face till his work
is done. 1t is clear thing to my mind that we
ought to have Office" get it this way or get it that
way, for get it how may, will introduce a new
custom into the world" \ hint is enough for the
wise; I'm sure you understand me.
As to the Catholics, its easy enough to manage
that matter. What can't be done directly, may be
done indirectly. Well 60 for keeping them out of
Office but profess not TO interfere with their rcli-
gious privileges. 1t will be greatly to our advan-
tagc to charge the Catholics with attempting to
unite church and State and in this the Protestant
clergy will readily join US for many of them are ls'
norant, you know, and easily alarmed; moreover,
when once enlisted, they will WELD great influence
among voters. Preachcrs,y you know, are human after
all some Of them will preach against meddng with
politics and other temporal matters, to make show
of holiness, but only encourage them a little and
they'll work delightfully."- for there are none that
like more to hear themselves talk and to be thought
great. Between you and myself, think Catholics
about good as other people; but somebody must
be tramped under foot to carry our point, and pol
icy indicates Catholics. We want all offices, and
therefore We'll propose to keep them out this will
not be persecution any thing like it; it will only
be taking care of ourselves
| will now give you the reasons for the secreSy of
our order. 1t is we'll established that most
easily led by curiosity, which may be easily ava
kened by our night meetings and odd proceedings.
The less men kaoec Of a thing the more eagerly do
they pursue it. Shakespeare you WI remember,
makes Boiling broke thus say to his son:
by being seldom seen, could N STIR
But, like u comet, was wondered at
That would tell their children, This ishe:
Others would say, Where !-uhich is Bolinghroke ?"
So We explaining but little, may soon have all
the world running breathless and with mouths agape
to hunt us up and knocking nosily to be admitted.
new thing soon gets old therefore We must swear
our followers, before admit them, to stand fast
by US; once in, they'll be ashamed to leave before
can have time to effect purposes afterwards
we can govern by the fear in which VIC can hold
men.
Lastly, we sworn to vote for the nominees of
a majority of our councils. Now, this is to enable
the leading men among us to bring out and elect
just such men as will carry out our views The vii.
lage councils, consisting of men of learning refine
ment and expanded views, can suggest the Names
and all the country councils will fall in as naturally
sheep after their leader The great mass of vo-
ters you know, incapable of sclfgovernment
and are often troublesome to us; this plan will ef
fectually place them in our power, and so gov
eminent will be an arisocracy in fact, what have
long desired it to be.
The peg that governs our puissant steed is lightly
adjusted This indicates that his course and gait
are easily changed In a word, when you here
in the North he will 60 as Northern horses do;
when you get out South he will move exactly to
suit Southern notions; and of all localities into
which you may go. The great excellence of our
horse consists in his being all things to ALL and
thing to any but ourselves. l am sure you under
stand me- not TO detain you longer from the good
work before you, bid you depart, and God be with
you!
The President here closed and complacently gazed
the cavacade as it moved off, contemplating ev-
identity, the chances of the next Presidency and the
intermnablc batch of offices thereto appertainng.
The hobby horse got along even beyond the Prcsi-
dents fondest hopes while III the New England States
and other abolition regions, but when he reached
staunch republican Virginia, Wisely combined
opposition SO annoyed and beset him before and be-
hind, that vexation caused his spine to give way,
when the whole concern came down in irretrievable
ruins. ...- $751;.
l hope the readers of the Standard will excuse
this lengthy depression, for only intended in the
outset to tell you how the good old Wing party was
broken up; but the resemblance between this Know
Nothing horse" Sam and Don's Claveno was
SO strong couldn't help drawing the parallel.
will now only add that the quntessence of the Wing