American union. [volume] (Morgantown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1855-1859, 1856-01-19
HUMOROUS SCRAPS,
"A Woman that Wanted Just to
Peep into that Private Closet,

town. determined to have their lodge
room done up cleanand nice; it was re.
solved unanimously that Mrs. X. be en-
ployed to do the jrb.
Alter tho meeting adjourned, the
Guardian, who knew the inuuisi,iye
character of Mrs. X. procured billy
goat. and placed him in closet that
was kept as u reservoir for the secret
things. He then informed the lady of
the wishes of the Lodge, and requested
herto come early next morning, as he
would then be at leisure to show her
what was and what was not to be done.
Morning camo and with it Madame
*. with her brooms, brushes, pals, tubs.
NC, prepared and armed for the Job, aud
found the Guardian waiting for her.
"Now Madam" said he, IL tell you
what we done and how we came to EN-.
ploy you. The brothers said il was diff.
tcult to get anybody to do the Job, and
not be meddling with the secrets in tina.
little closet; we have lost the KEY and
cannot fud it TO lock the door. ] assur-
ed thom that you could be depended up
on"
depended on" said she, al guess
can. My poor dead aud gone husband
who belonged to the Free Masons or
AnIi-Masous, don't know which, used
10 tell me all the secrets of The concern.
aud when he showed me all the marks
tho gridiron had made when he was in
itiated, and told mo how they fixed poor
Morgan, never told living soul to this
day; if nobody troubles your closets
TO find out your secrets till | do they'll
lay there till they rot-ihey Will.
III thought So" said the Guardian.
"and now want you TO commence in
that corner and give the whole room a
decent cleaning, and have pledged nv
word and honor for the fidelity TO your
promise. Now don't go into that closet"
and left the lady to herself
No sooner had she heard tho sound
of his feet on the last step of the stairs
than she exclaimed "Don't go into that
closet I'll warrant there is gridiron
or some nonsense, just like The anti-Ma.
sons for all tho world-pll be bound
l VIII Just take one peep, and nobody
will DO any wiser, as | can keep it to
myself"
Suiting the action TO tho word she
stepped lightly to tho forbidden close,
turned The button, which was no soon.
Ell done than "bah !" went the billy goat
with aspiring to regain his liberty, which
came near upse,ting her ladyship.-
Both started tor the door, but it was fl.
lod with implements for house cleaning
and all were swept clear from their DO.
stion down to the bottom of the stairs.
The noise and confusion occasioned
by such unceremonious coming down
stairs, drew half the town To- witness
Mrs. KS effort to get from under tho
pile Of pals, tubs, brooms and brushes
III the street.
Who would be first to the spot but
the rascalIy door keeper, who, after re-
leasing the goat, which was a cripple
for lito, aud uplifting tho rubbish that
bound the good woman to the earth an.
Hiously inquired il she had been taking
the degrees!
"Takiug tho degrees !" exclaimed the
lady, eff you call tumblng from the top
TO the bottom ofthe stairs, with tho div.
il after ye, taking things by degrees, |
have them, and if ye frghtcn folks as
ye have me, aud hurt them To boot, III
warrant they'll make as much noise as
did"
81 hope you did not open the closet.
Madam" said the door.keeper.
Open tho closet? Eve ate the an.
pie she was forbidden! 1fyou want
woman to do anything, tell her no, 10
do it and she'll do it certain. could
not stand The temptation. The secret
was there wanted to know it, | 0.
pomed the door and out popped the tar.
nel critter right Into my face. thought
tho devil had me, and | broke for tho
stairs, with tho devil buiting me at owe.
ny jump. fell over the tub and got
down stairs as you found US, all 10 u
heap"
"BIt, Madam" said the door.kceper
"you are in possession Of The grea, so.
Gret Of the Order, and must DO initiated
in the regular way"
Irregular way !" exclaimed the lady.
"and do you suppose am going near
the tarnai place again, ard ride that ar
orttor without bride or lady's sadGlc1
No, never want nothing 10 do with
tho man who rides it. IA took nice
pcarched on billy goat Wouldn't | D
n >, never! III never 60 nigh it again,
nor your hall nuIhcr. III can prevent
it, no lady shall ever join the Odd Eel.
lows, Why, I'd sooner DO FREQ Ma.
son, and DO broilcd on a griJiron rs long
aS 6fe could be kept under IT, aud pul.
led from garret to cellar With halter
ia pair Of old bitches aud slippers,
juot as NY pVor dear husband was. -
Add he lived over it, bot coold never
1.-Two "vor such another tide as took 10.
day