The national era. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1847-1860, 1856-11-06
yourselves and you conquer with kindness,
where you can conquer in no other way"

AN IMPATIENT JURYMAN. - An Arkansas
correspondent of the New Orleans Picayunt
gives the following as authentic:
You are all fond of cracking jokes at the ex
pense OF Arkansas now, here is one on your
State, absolutely true. got it from an eye
witness
The district court in one of your northern
parishes was in session-'twas the first day Of
court; time, after dinner. Lawyers and others
had dined, and were sitting out before the hotel
and long, lank, unsophisticated countryman
came up and unceremoniously made himself
one OF EN-, and remarked: "Gentlemen,
wish you would go on with this court, for
want to go home-I left Betsy looking out
"Ah J" said one of the lawyers, "and pray
SIR, what detains you at court?"
why, sir" said the countryman, "Pm fotch
here as a jury, and they say if go home they
will have to find me, and they moutnt do that
as | live good piece"
What jury are you on?" asked a lawyer
What jury?"
es, what jury? Grand or traverse iury?'
Grand or travis jury? dad-fetched if !
know"
"Well," said the lawyer, did the Judge
charge your"
well, SQUIRE" said he, the little fellow
that sits up in the pulpit, and kinder bosses ii
over the crowd, gin us talk, but don't know
whether he charged anything or not"
The crowd broke up in roar of laughter,
and the sheriff called court.
DIR. JOHNSON ON THE BEAUTIES OF L1rERA.
TokE'-It was an annual custom with DR.. j ohn-
sons bookseller to invite his authors to dine
with him; and it was upon this occasion that
Dr. Johnson and DR.. Rose of Chiswick. met.
when the following dispute happened between
them, on the prominence of the Scotch and
English writer's. In the course of converse
tlon, Dr. Warburton's name was mentioned,
wheH DIR. Rose observed what a proud, i'm
porous person he was. DR.. johnson answered :
Sir, so he was; but he possessed more
learning than has been imported from Scot
land since the days of Buchanan"
DR.. Rose, after enumerating great many
Scotch authors, (which johnson treated with
contempt,) said: "What think you of David
Hume, sir ;"
I" Ha deistical, scribbling fellow"
hose. Well, be it SO; but what say you to
johnson, with surly wow-wow.) 1 did not
know that he ever wrote anything.
/ Rose No; l think he has written one line
that has outdone anything that Shakespeare, or
Milton, or any one else ever, wrote.
johnson. Pray, what was that, sir
Rose. 1t was when he wrote an order for
your pension, sir
johnson, (quite confounded.) Why, that
was very fine line, to be sure, sir.
Upon which, the rest Of the company got up,
and laughed and hallooed till the whole room
was in roar.
FRAILTY.-All men have their fraiIties. GAS
| grow Older" said Goethe, 81 become more
lenient to the signs of frail humanity. The
man who loudly denounces, always suspect.
de knows too much of crime to denounce a
fellow-creature unheard-a knowledge that can
only be obtained by criminality itself The
hypocrite always strives to divert attention from
his own wickedness, by denouncing unsparing.
ly that OF others. He thinks he shall seem
good IN exact ratio as he makes others seem
bad"
JINKINS is a man who takes matters humor-
ously. When his best friend was blown into
the air by a "bursting biler," Jinkins called
after him, "there you go, my es-steamed friendl"
An old lady in Iowa, while recently in the
woods, was bitten on the end of the nose by a
rattlesnake. The old lady recovered, but the
snake died. Coroner's verdict, poisoned by
snuff.