The south-western. [volume] (Shreveport, La.) 1852-1870, 1856-01-23

one knows that surprise party is where
company of gentlemen and ladies agree to visit
carrying their own provisions. some one O
their acquaintance, without any sign or no
tice of their coming being given. A few night
since, in New Bedford, party was formed 70
the purpose of giving surprise to married
couple, but upon proceeding to the house, i
was found that another visitor had anticipated
them only few hours. 1t was girl, little
darling, and tlooked just like its mother, bies
its hearth All parties were of course slight
ly surprised. The surprise weighed six and
three-quarter pounds.
The morovian manner of administering the
is opened by singing verses Of different metres,
then prayer After this, the congregation rs-
ing, verse is sung, during which time all
the individual members present impart to those
next TO them the kiss of absolution, in token of
mutual forgiveness and reconciliation, in ac-
cordance with the apostolic injunction, 'ssa-
Lutte one another with an holy kiss" Then
the bread is consecrated by the presiding min
lister, who is dressed in white surplice, and
the distribution follows.
A humorous young man was driving horse
which was in the habit of stopping at every
house on the roadside. Passing a country
tavern, where were collected together some
dozen countrymen the beast, as usual, ran OBJ
posite the door, and then stopped in spite of
the young man, who applied the whip with all
his might to drive the horse on. The men on
the porch commenced very hearty laugh, and
some inquired if he would sell the horse.
Eyes," replied the young man, "but can
not recommend him, as he once belonged to a
butcher, and stops whenever he hears the
calves bleat.' The crowd retired to the bar
in silence.
Nothing is more unphlosophical than the
exhibition of ill-humor in circumstances that
you can possibly preventit. Seneca's remedy
in unavoidable misfortune was to 'tsmile and
sustain it." We think resignation is national
virtue of our countymen. Just before an cleo
ton you would think them capable of cutting
each others throats-the day after the de-
feated party wears a good -natured smile, and
there is not bit of bullying on the part Of the
yictors.
God made both tears and laughter, and both
for kind purposes; for as laughter enables the
mirth and surprise to breathe freely, so tears
enable sorrow to vent itself patiently. Tears
hinder sorrow from becoming despair and mad
ness; and laughter is one of the very priyi-
leges of reason, being confined to the human
species. .... .
A lady was recently teaching boy to spell.
The boy spelled cold, but could not pro-
nounce it. In vain his teacher asked him to
think, and try. AT last she asked him,
"What do you do when you 90 out upon the
wet sidewalk on rainy day, and wet your t
seet?'' {
II gets a licking"
The Lancet, or some other equally edifying
paper, on the subject of human food. says that
arge quantities of sausages are made of horse
flesh. A friend of ours says he believes, it, t
As he invariably has the nj ht-mare when he t
has eaten them for supper.
Seedy sentimental gent, singing-''Were t
NY bosom as false as thou deemest it to be-
Watchman-Come, none O. that 'ere;-you /
Know you haint got no bosom on, nor shirt
neither. So stop your bowling, or away you
20. The neighbors says its wuss than cats.
Sydney Smith says, sit seems necessary that
great people should die with some sonorous
md quotable saying. Mr.. Pitt said some l.
hing not Ineligible in his last moments. G. {
Rose made it out to be save my country, hea- t
,enp The nurse on being interrogated, said {
hat che asked for barely water"
A genius is getting up railroad car out of
wrought iron and gutta purcha. Such car can
,e iammed, but not broken. 1t may "mash c
'ou up" but it can make no splinters to tear
,our trousers and lacerate your limbs The g
dea is a good ole, and, we hope, will realise :
lis expectations. r
An Irishman in Chicago has just discovered 5
substitute for potatoes. 1t consists Of pork c
nd cabbage. He says be has tried various
ther things, but this is the only substitute =
hat he'd like TO warrant.
The dutchman who refused to take a one c
olar bill because it might be altered from a
en-, prefers stage travelling to railroads. The :
ormer, he says, rides him eight hours for a
ollar, while the latter only rides him one.
A celebrated poet at one time advertised that
lie would supply .tlines for any occasion" A a
sherman sought him shortly after, and he a
wanted a line strong enough to catch por- $
oise''
Shakespeare defines man as having seven = q
ges, whereas, we accord him only two: the a
rst is childhood when he .'cuts his teeth" ii
nd the last is old age, when his ''teeth cut F
ina"
"Now, Charley, my boy, there's bottle of
zine that's forty years old"
"fO fty years! Dy Jose, III asoonisHcu.
"What, because it is so old?'
"No, lack; but te6nd tso small of its age"
Horace Mann said that dying miser would
inch dime until the eagle on it screamed,
ut the Post informed him that there was no
agile on dime.
Some one having lavishly Landed Longfel- J
,w's aphorism, suffer, and be strong mat
er-of- fact man observed that it was merely
ariation Of the old English adage. grin and
ear it, tG b
One Of our exchanges says that swarm
neal'' in New. Mexico consists Of two crackers
ipped in pepper sauce. Simple, but not very ]
kelly to become popular.
IF aperson begins to CRATE nutmeg at the : :
talk end it win prove hollow throughout +
Thereas the same nutmeg grated at the other p
nd would have proved sound and entire ,
A paper has just been started in Richmond,
indiana, called 1.-The Broad-axe Of Freedom
nd Grubbing Hoe Of Truth
"A dreadful little for a shilling" said pc !,
urious fellow to physician who dealt him |
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