Carroll free press. [volume] (Carrollton [Ohio]) 1834-1861, 1856-04-24
6uplOrOlIs ReaSInp.
shsEG Pstsqt Sermon,
CLAcEIss wONEs.

Fsxt-a steep mT feet IN boiling oil,
Or put me on the rack
But save me while IArry here,
From yOndsr wOmSn's clSek
Ny Hearers Perhaps Ee male nOrtsl'
pught not, generally speaking TO brag much
shout our faculties for restraining that "unrulT
member" called the tongue but l do think
that Women hsYs no good reason to say any
tSisg--tOr. il We are incompetent, in certain
degree, yomen most certainly are. in very
uacertaia degree. Their tongues are reed'
shaken BY The Wind-splinters upon ehes'nus
FAil, that keep up buEsing and Jarrlng SO
long as there is breath to move them: Inc
least breeze Of passion that springs up IN Their
bosoms, sets their uill-elacks in operation; and
Is Ior stopping them, you might as well fire
. popgun against thunder, or blow hand-bel'
lows against hurricane. They will talk like
. pol-pAros. merely for the sake Of the noise,
and. (giving them credit for no evil inteRsiOn,) }
thsy perssTsre IN iabbsring, without once re-
hscting that, what is music 10 them may be
murder 70 others. Oh woman, woman -
wherefore art thou gifted with such gigantic
powers Of CAB Thou Wouldst have been an
angel, hsds't thou an angels whisper.
Ny hearers have been speaking Of NO.
men Is whole. As regards their noisy To-
quacousness, there are many beautiful e1cep-
tons, know some whose words have fine
fur. instead of dog hair, upon shem--whOse
tones are as soft and musical as the mild breath
ipgs, Of the Aolesn hslp-tO whOmit is sOoth
ing to listen, aud whose society is as sunshine
TO q storm beaten flower. But Oh make my
bed under timed roof during night Of in
cessant hail place forty tom cats at my win
dow, all in tiull feather" (fur, could have
said) for a row; bid me deliYer an impressive
discourse in grist mil; soak my cOrns IN
boiling solution Of potash; bore my ears with
StwO inch auger, or congressional speech
upon the tariff: compel me to endure the in
Fiction Of a fashionable OPERA CRATE loaf suga
by ny side while am preparing a ssrm9n oil
Sunday; put me on the rack, il you choose
do anything you like, il you will only save m
from the everlasting clack Of that woman
whose mildogt tones ere enough to harrow u
mans soul. (Shakespeare freeze bis war;
blood and make each particular bair--whisker
mOus!acheH, and imperial included-tO stan
on lend" like brislles upon the back ofA PuI
worried pig
Ny hearers Nm afraid that il say muc
more about the gsntler six, my soul next wee
will be as full of regrets as an old cot is Of be
bugs in August nevertheless, am bound
pEsach the truth to day, although the ds'
may tell me tomorrow that ought to be
ahamed Of myself for SO doing. But VIII
you see my HOse projecting from this old pulp
know 70 care not for fear Of man. the fav
OF women, nor the SCOTS Of sutan. let o
the truth, link by link, and, il | am thought
libel my brother man or my sister woman.
heaven be my judge-tho twelve apostle
now above, constitute jury-and III accept
anything for counsel other than New Yo
lAwyer--I Can'tgO that. In SoOIh, there is l
use in trying to lessen the noise of talkatiV
wOmans tongue by applying the oil of praise
for, the more you grease it by aattery, Il
faster and louder it runs. Say not word; p
putty in your ears, and it may tire itself on
But my dear friends we ought not to be Il
severe upon the sisterbood. Heaven has MAJ
them what they are. Their impsrfection i'
fault Of theirs, but an unavoidable misfc
tune.
Nature made man the strongest,
But Womsn's tongue the longest.
And now, in conclusion, my dear brethren,
you will but count up your errors, and add
the sum total all your actual faults, you W
fnd that the account is to be given to the ere
it Of the feminine gender, Bear and fOrbear
overlook trfes--forgVe al errors on the P
oithe last and The loveliest Of Gods works
and say as do "WOman, with ell thy iau
IlpYe the stHr' So mote il be
- Protestant Pig.--An Irish woman in b
Al Eav dava sinna nissad her niu and nj