Squatter sovereign., 1856-12-23
A SAN FRANCISCO AUcrrogEER.

port of speech made by California
auctioneer:
| LADIES AND GENrLEMEN-I new
have the honor of putting up fine pock-
et-handkerchief, a yard wide, yard long,
and almost yard thick one-half cotton.
and rother, half cotton too; beautifully
printed with stars and stripes on one side,
and the stripes and stars on t'other. 1t
will wipe dust from the eyes 80 complete
ly as to be death TO denagegues, and make
politics as bad business as printing pa
pers. Its great length, breadth and thick
ness, together with its dark color, will en-
able it to hide dirt, and never need wash
ing! Going at one dollar 2 seventy-five
cents? fifty cents? twenty-five cents one
bite Nobody wants it! Oh! thank you,
sir.
Next, gentlemen--for the ladies won't
be permitted to bid on this article-is
real, simon pure, tempered, highly polish
ed, keen edged Sheffield razor; bran span
new; never open before TO sunlight,
moonlight, starlight daylight or gaslight i;
sharp enough to shave lawyer, sr cut a
disagreeable acquainsance or poor rela-
ton haadls of buck horn, with all the
rivets but the two al the ends Of pure gold.
Who will give two dollars one nolar?
fifty cents 2 Why, you long bearded, dir
Ity faced reprobates, with not room on your
phizzes for a China woman to kiss, I'm
offering you bargain at half dollar
Well, will throw in this strop at half
dollar razor and strop! recent patent !;
two rubs will sharpen the city attorney :;
all for four bits; and piece of soap sweet
er than roses, lathers bettes than school
master, and strong enough to wash all
the stains from California politicians
conscien ce, all for four bits. Why, you
have only to put the razor, ,strop and soap
under your pillow at night, and wake up
in the morning clean shaved. Won't any,
body give two bits then for the lot knew
I would sell 'cm.
" Next, ladies and gentlemen. I offer
three pairs eff socks, hose. stockings, or
half hose. just as you're a mind to call
knit by machine made on purpose, out of
Gotten wool. The man that buys these
will be enabled to work until he gets tired;
and, provided his boots are high enough,
needn't have any corns; the legs are as
long as bills against the corporation, and
as thick as the heads Of the members of
the Legislature. Who wants 'em at half a
dollars Thank-ee, madam, the money.
| "Next, offer you pair Of boots, made
especially for San Francisco, with heels
long enough to raise man up to the
Hesdley grade, and nails to insure against
being carried over by land slide legs
wide enough to carry two revoivers and a
bowie-knife, and the upper Of the very
best horse leather. A man in these boots
can move about as easy as the State capi-
tol. Who says twenty dollars2 All the
tax payers ought TO buy pair to kick the
council with and they will be found ol
assistance in kicking the bucket, especial
ly if somebody should kick at being kick
ed. Ten dollars for legs, uppers and
soies. while souls, and miserable souls al
rhat. are bringing $4,000 in Sacramen-
to! Ten dollars. ten dollars! gone al
ten dollars
Next is something that you ought tc
: have, gentlemen, a lot of good gallowses-
sometimes called suspenders. know tha
| of xz,;fl he -
at the States expense, but you can't tel
which one, SO buy where they're cheap
All that deserve hanging are not supplied
with a gallows; if so, there bs nobody tt
make laws, condemn criminals, or hang
culprits, until q new election, Made o
pure gum elaslic-stretch like judge.
: conscience, and last as leng as Califor
D MIA office-holder will steal; buckles o
pure iron, and warranted to hold SO tigh
: that no mans wife can rob him of th'
breeches; are, in short, as strong, as good
as perfect, as efectual, and as bona fd,
, as the ordinance against Chinese shops Oh
: Dupont street-gone at twenty-five cents.
A SCHOOLGIRLS LovE.-There is botl
truth and poetry in the following lines
written by school girl. and we dare sa,
that The recollection Of those early dreams
so strangely different from the actual ex
1periences of life, are still the most pleasan
of all memories. There is 40 sunshln
like that of childhood. 1t CLEANS throug
:, all the clouds of DISAPPOINTMENT, and smile
!. upon us till the river of life mingles wit
the ocean Of eternity.
could na' get my lesson,
IL VII the book before my cen,
. For the the thoughts % canny Willie
Game bobbin' in between.