The south-western. [volume] (Shreveport, La.) 1852-1870, 1856-12-31
The author of the "Camp and Cutter" re

among them; many of the men threw then
selves upon the ground-but one, more feal
less, exclaimed: 'Hurrah, my hearties! Prov
dence is with US! Here's light!' and runnin
over towards it, he went on his hands and hi
knees, and coolly lit his pipe with the fzzin
fuzee of this engine of death! Indeed. Proyi
dence was with him for the fuzee burnt itsel
out and the shell did not explode!
Choate's chirography reminds us of stor,
told concerning the writing of J. W. Brooks
the great railroad manager, of Michigan. Fl,
had written a letter to man on the Contra
route, notifying him that he must remove barn
which in some manner incommoded the road
under penalty of prosecution. The threaten
ed individual was unable to read any part Of
the letter but the signature; but took it to be a
free pass on the road, and used it a couple OF
years as such, none of the conductors being
able to dispute his representation of the docu-
ment. Boston Traveller.
A dissenting minister in Wales who is threat
ened with seizure for church rates, writes, II
preach every Sabbath to eight or nine hundred
golfers, miners and aborers, and they willing
ly contribute about one hundred pounds year
towards my support. The rector reads SER
mon to some ten or fifteen persons every Sab
bath, and receives six or seven hundred pounds
year for his services, and yet it seems that I
must be prosecuted for not supporting his cause
This rather hard CASE
Hon. Josiah Quincy, in recent lecture at
at Boston, Mass, said that while in New York
he saw twenty-five dollars given for single
vote for member Of congress-; and upon his
expressing surprise that man could afford to
pay such sum for one vote, he was assured |
that the candidate, if reelected, would make
money making operation of it; he had re-
ceived $4,000 at the last session for getting
a bill through, and at that rate could afford to
pay good price.
Gay Lussac went into linen Diapers shop
and saw girl engaged intently with book
behind the counter: "What are you reading,
mademoselle?' said he. GA work which is,
perhaps, beyond me, but which interests me,
nevertheless-a treatise on chemistry" The
heart of the great chemist was reached through
this unusual Partially of the Diapers shop girl
for his favorite pursuit. He sent her to school,
and afterwards made her bis wife. The ex-
pertinent succeeded, but he did not recommend
an imitation of it.
The wife of a well known literary gentle ?
man while reading one of his articles for the i
press, corrected it as she went along, and the !
errors were numerous.
"Why, husband, " she exclaimed, "you don't :
know the first rules Of grammar, or else you are
very negligent
"Well, WELL my love-" he exclaimed, look 7
ing up from his work, whats the matter now?' i
"Why, in three cases you speak of our sex
n the plural, and write it in the singular num-
1er"
Il can't help it," was the retort, ''woman =
S singular being
Ned Grimes wore a sad countenance He
vas asked what was the matter, but no salts
actory answer was forthcoming. At length =,
articular friend obtained the following particu-
ars of him: far
You know said Ned, II have been court
,g Sally W. long while, and so we had
reat notion of getting married, when the old
olonel-''
"Go on, Ned, don't be boy; what about rie
lie colonel?"
"Why, you see, Sally said had better ask 0y;;
i'm. and so did, as perlite as knew how dr.,
"Well, what reply did he make?"
'Why, he kinder limited round as if warn't lea
anted no how
"Well, Ned, let us know what they we're
hat the colonel said to disturb your mind so Gin
ueh?''
"Why, he said" min
"Said what?'' dru
"Why, he said that if he catched me there "a
ain, he'd cowhide me till hadn't an inch of ass
inc left on my back, hang him. V
1t is related by Miss Edgeworth that gen bue
man, while attending an examination of '
1ooi, where every question was answered WI WI
Tn the greatest promptness, put some ques- er.
ms to the pupils which were not exactly the mer
ne found IN the book. After numerous ready age
swers 70 their teacher on the subject of geo. !
lphy, he asked one Of the pupils where Tur- -
was? She answered, rather hesitatng,
the yard, with the rest of the poultry a
Some lady or gentleman has written the fol-
ing to newspaper, east, which applies to
locality where men wear hair:
Kate hates moustaches: so much hair
Makes every man look like a bear"
But Fanny, whom thou ht can fetter
Blurts out 1.-THE more like bears the better;
ecause"-her pretty shoulders Struggling ,
Bears are such glorious chaps for hugging" AIS
Children ask some curious questions. We &C. &C.
re little boy in s'our house, who came 5
ne from Sabbath school one day, and meet -
his mother, the following dialogue took II
&C.: Mama, the teacher says people are all i
io Vi uusi. es, III uedr, so The DlDte '"'s
So "Well, mama, are white people made term p
lust2' eyes" "Well then, 'spose colored hat
pie are made of coal dust, amt they?" m
,ook round our government offices, and you
find that the system Of distribution is X
follows:-Too much ability is demanded ~
the small places, and for the large places for t
orally too little. 'o ,!t
t night we cannot tell whether river is t ar
low or deep; 50 neither can we Judge of -
ent or secret man. To know him we must
; light, or else be able to sound him. N
n eminent painter was asked what he mix old
is colors with to produce extraordinary irisn 81.
fleet u mix them with brains, SIR was - -
nswer. W.
lis sad thing when men have neither a
is enough to speak well, nor judgment to
their tongues; this is the foundation of
npertinence. on
hen you get in a passion, just walk out - ,
The air; you may speak your mind to the
$ without hurting any one OF proclaiming ~
;elf a simpleton. "
I.