The weekly Portage sentinel. [volume] (Ravenna, Ohio) 1854-1861, 1856-11-13
From the "Humors Of Faleonbrijge.
Whif1etree's Dental Experience,

indeed bliss to know nothing about the tooth
ache, as you know nothing, absolutely moth
ing about pain-the acute, double distilled,
rectifed agony that turks about the roots
or fangs of treacherous tooth. But ask a
sufferer how it feels, what it is like, how il
operates, and you may learn something the.
oretically which you may pray heaven that
you may not know practically.
But there's poor William Whiffletree-
he's been through the mill, fought, bled, and
died (slightly) with the refined, essential oil
of the agony caused by raging tooth. Eve
ry time we read Othello, we are half incln.
ed to think that more than halfof lagos dev-
lishness came from that "raging TOOTH"
which would not let him sleep, but tortured
and tormented "mine ancient" 50 that he
became embittered against all the world,
and blackam oors in particular.
William Whiffletree's case is very
strong illustration of what tooth ache is, and
what it causes people to do; and affords a
pretty fair idea of the manner in which the
tooth and sufferer are incidentally and NOR
ally treated by the materia medica, and
friends at large.
William Whiffletree-or "Bill," as most
people called him-was a sturdy young fel.
low of two and-twenty, of"poor but respec
table parents" and tended the dry goods
store of one Ethan Rakestraw, in the viii
loge Of Rockbottom, State of New York.
One unfortunate day, for poor Bill, there
came to Rockbottom galvanized looking
individual, rejoicing in the euphonium Of DR..
Hannibal Orcstes Wangbanger As sur.
geon, he had-accordng to the album-full
of certifcates-operated in all the scientific
branches of amputation from the scalp lock
10 the heel,tap, upon Emperors, Kinga,
Queens, and common folks; but upon his
science in the dental way, he spread and
grew luminous! In short, DR.. Wangbanger
had not been long in Rockbottom before his
"gift Of gab," and unadulterated propensity
to elongate the blanket, set everybody, in
cluding poor Bill Whiffletree, in furOre to
have their teeth cut, filed, scraped, rasped,
reset, dug out, and FURNISHED up! ..
Now Bill, being, as we aforestated, mus-
cularly developed youth, gotup in the most
sturdy New Hampshire style, his teeth sOere
teeth, in every way calculated to perform
long and strong; but Bill was fast imbibing
counter-jumper notions, dabbling in stiff
dickeys, creased soap locks, and other fan
cy "fub, dabs," supposed to be essential in
cutting swarth among ye fair sex.
So that when Dir. Wangbanger once had
an audience with Mr.. William Whifletree
in regard to one of Mr.. Whifletree's molars
which Bill thought hada "speck"on it, he
soon convinced the victim that the said mo.
lar not only was spccked, but out OF the dead
plumb of it's nearest ncighbor at least the
S4th part Of an inch!
40, shocking" says the remorseoSs hum;
ait is well | saw it in time, Mr.. Whiffietree.
Why, in the course Of few weeks, that
tooth, sir, would have exfolaled, calcareous
suppuration would have ensued, the gum
would have ossifed, while the nerve of the
tooth becoming apostrophized, the roots
would have concatenated in their hiatuses,
and the jaw bone, no longer acting upon their
fossil exoduses, would necessarily have led to
the entire suspension of the capillary or.
gans of your stomach and brain, and-deah
v0uh superuene IN t,Do hourS!"
Poor Bill! he scarcely knew what faint
ing was, but queer sensation settled in his
"ossis frontis." while his ossis legso almost
bent double under him, at the awful pros,
pect of things before him! He took a long
breath, however, and in voice tremulous
with emotion, inquired ..f ~
"Good Lord, Doctor what's to be done
for feller!"
"Pug and file," calmly said the Doctor.
"Pug and file what!" ID ,y. ,,.
"The second molar," said the Doctor;
though the treachercu us monster meant Bills
wallet, of course! g. ...~. .,.,..
"Whatll it cost, Doctor1" says Bill.
"Done in my very best manner, upon the
new and splendid system invented by my
self, sir, and practced upon all the crowned
heads of Europe, London, and Washington
City, it will cost you three dollars" g.
"Does it hurt much, DoctorY'' was Bill's
cautious inquiry. 4.. J.'.
every little, indeed; it's sometimes rnth-
er agreeable, sir, than otherwise" said the
Doctor.
"Then go at it. Doctor! Here's the dosh,"
and forking over three dollars, down, sits
William Whiffietree in Ia high backed chair,
and the Doctors assistant-a sturdy young
clamping Bills head to the back
If the chair, to keep it steady, as the Doctor
remarked, the latter began to ''bore and
ile."4 iFrIHf 1t US y5yt
40! ah! ho-ho,hold on, hold onr' cries
Bill, at the first gougs the Doctor gave the
huge tooth. 's1 ssi m1ls.a GHr
90! be me soul! be aizy, zur," says the
[rishman, "it's mesilf as understands it
I'H hold on till yees!" a ~ +
"O--O.h.h-h!' roars Bill. as the Doctor
proceeds ~ ls2 @ +
'.'Be quiet, sir; the pain won't signify!N