Lynchburg daily Virginian. [volume] (Lynchburg [Va.]) 1852-1861, 1856-10-13

/ Then the organist commenced n violent strng.
Gle with the Ky board as II h. regarded the un-
| fortunate organ a. "A f.iiruH enemy. whom 1t
/ would require h. utmost strength aud deN'efiy
| 10 nyerenme-so be- went in--he hammered him
| on tie white keys be belted him the black
ones H. punched him Oh the seinItones, b" kick
cd hin, on the bass he put III series OF running
lick. ia Lis cbromaic scale. he pcted him on the
flats. I've battered him in the shatps. smo'e him
in the high keys be Iii him in the low notos.then
| he rfsbbed both hands in hi ofthves and shook
| him until he saualrd. then be ferocionsy lrfkHd
/ ont the stops on one side, As II be was puliihe
half If his teeth out of hs hend-then he sasasr-
" famed in these on the oiher.ns il he was knock
! inc the rest Il his grinders down hs tbr"ht-ai
Ter three Quarters Of an hour tn irti hand winch
! had been doing manful service IN the lower "a.
hrrbs= bqgan 10 fail, and sent for II int lIe9
nam vbrrcnnon the right hand. after hitting the
/ ppprr cord Of 6 sharp furious dig to keep II
| onief IN the interval. scampered To the rescne Oh
! lv staBpinp by the why TO besiow upon the md
| die { a couple of punches by way OF reminder
then the pGaver with both hands, both feet ond
| hi. knees, went at the poor instrument and heia
| bored him 20 numerically in the lower plPes,that
/ he lost his wind and cried-"enough,' IN taar
/ of agony.
| Til. was the prelude.
| Then the singing commenced; the opera f'lks
/ .teo1 np TO earn their money! they sang IA il the
! musical scale had been creased on this occasion,
! md they were climbing for pig on thef top o IL
/ they would 90 up note or two. and then ZIP
! Blackjack one went one notch higher than the
| one before him. hut fell hnck before he reached
/ the prize, and his voice subsidized into di-eah-
! tented growl low down IN his rib. At last, al
! ter five trials, each one Of which ended III an al
trnunted squeak, one female, with moath like
! a latchwav oosened her bonnet strings made
/ "A desperate scream, and went 50 high that she II
! uelly pot a firm hold of the olrginous reward OF
merit. and bore it off in trumph--'hen they all
! stopped.
This was the singing.
Then the muscular man came out Of The bow.
! cl. with the Precipitation dipping from has coat
/ tail--as he hadn't another suit handy, he sat
/ downn the draueht 10 dry.
This was the finale.
Here the minister read u number If gratis ap
/ vcrlisements for concerts aud twenty five cent
/ pic nos-hen there was singlc-hand"d com
/ bat between the organi~t and hi, old enemy, and
some more CREASED pig yucalization by the thou.
sand dollar choir. alter whic h the Star preach-
or began to perform in earnest-he rend text and
/ stuck to the subject for fifteen minutes, giving
! his bearers fits" about their shortcomings when
! the plato is passed then he gave a glowing des.
cliption of the joys Of Paradise. and by his eo-
qucnt words had gotup so far into the spirit land
/ that could almost hear iha departed sprlts
/ blow their nosps, when suddenly he cut short his
/ high flown picty and began Ia talk politics and
/ general he spoke ot the state of the stock
/ markets, gave notice of the new pate ut ballot
/ box. II review of the encouraging prospects Of
Fremont, the value OF Shurpe's rifles, and the re
/ tail price of Sehicdan Schuapps. Then he gave
4 with great gasto, delightful account OF some.
imaginary pleasant transactions in I\ansa-, where
! n If rDn . n
/ in, whilo their wives were compelled by the ann
! abb Border RutiIar- 10 supcrlntcud TIA" ca"&r-
! cry. lhcn he nude very coed pike. at wllch
! the people laughed; then said something about
! the ei'niou,n which they nPplandcd, should
! luye supposed myself in II ratification meeting,
/ II lie men hnd'nt all their hints off, and there
hH1nt been "a many women that their bonnets
booked like cherry orchard soon he put IN a
wofl abnut "iluccaneer-;, and "Black Rcpubll-
aon-.' | thoaeht then was in Il political meet.
lnt, surr, and expected every minute II hear No.
! - boys conn down with three times three aud a
tiger for Buck and Brock
After this he grew more frantic about "hIeea-
! ing Kansas and he talked 81 earnestly about
Shapes rifles, that | concluded that he had AN
agency aud got Il percentage on all he sold; lac
didn't make any remarks about SchnappS, and
oid'nt see amy bottles. though | suppose there
must have been u sample handy. He had now
90 his ministerial steam up TO exploding point
aud ravcd around his little platform as if he was
crazy, aud wanted oget at somebody. lie mix
ed a. things; christian love and piety, Fremont
republican Incpes;gunpowdera rs II moral agent
and IN ed Gated gin means of grace, nggprs
slave whips, charity; brotherly affection, under
ground lroads disnnion, flowers little children,
voting. hal boxes, pools, White House, presi
dent aud Know Nothngs. ending up with lopd
cXhortaton for free speech FREQ soil aud Fremont
with strong hint that he wanted them TO con
tribute pretty literally when the deacon came
round with the plates. the money was needed
to circulate republican documents i'll Pennsyya-
MIA and Now Jersey.
This was the preaching.
Then he took two minutes rest, and made Il
prayer containing summary Of the political
news for the wcek-tkon he put on his oyercont
and disappeared through the trap door
The organi played the people out with grand
march in which trumpet solo was very conspic-
uons and added few dancing tunes by way OF
Keeping the Sunday school children quiet.
went home, irving to- mentally digest the pc.
Iitieo religious harsh had listened to, and en-
deavored to decide whether there was too much
politics for the pietv. too little petv for the
politics. Came to the conclusion that. if min
lister wants 10 ma,>e business of electionperng,
he ought to stump the State for his favorite can
ddates, and eharg, his expenses to the Central
Committee. Thooghtfully,
q. X. Pm LANDER DoESrleks, +. +.