davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Volcano weekly ledger., 1856-06-28
How to Behave in Church.

For GHETLEMEH.-Fancy, upon opening
the door, that everybody will look at you,
and bear yourself brayely till You get to
your seat. Then pass your hand over your
hair to see if the hours labor that you spent
on it has not been in vain, then take good
long stare over the congregation to see who
is there. If you chew tobacco, blaze away
into the seat behind, if unoccupied, or else let
drive at your neighbor's patent leather
Scratch your name on the back Of the front
seat, with the likeness Of one-eyed hippo
grifi; stare frequently at the pretty looking
girl behind you, and if possible send her a
note assuring her that she has the prettiest
hand or the most exquisite eve Of blue this
side of Paradise. After having exhausted
all reasonable amusements you NAV shut your
eyes, open your mouth, and favor the congre-
CATION with an extempore snore. After the
service is over do the agreeable to some di-
yinity; thereafter write yourself brick.
For You've LADIEs.-Spend four hours in
fixing out before starting, for it is every
young lady's duty to look pretty, bearing in
mind that ladies were created for the spe-
cial purpose of being worshiped by gentle
men, and attracting their unqualified admira-
ton. Step daintily up the aisle, seat yourself
again, and repeat this six consecutive times.
Pull the outer garment a little way over the
left shoulder, then back on the right, and
after doing this few times, leave it where
you found it. Straighten down your collar,
then straighten it up, pull out a highly per-
fumed pocket handkerchief, pass it over your
lips and return it, smooth down both sides of
your dress, and thrust the toe of your exquis-
ite little foot out, and then, after rising up
and sitting down again, you will be prepared
for further developments. Being properly
fixed, you will rise up again and sit down,
aud after rising up and sitting down once, it
will be well to repeat it. If the gentleman
in front of you sends you note, hide it un-
der your prayer books, or fan, and read it
when he is not looking you mead pay no
particular attention to the preaching that
will be for the benefit of sinners. If YOU
have blue eyes, turn them upwards once in a
while, if black, partly close the lids and look
dreamy. If there is gentleman at church
you particularly fancy, don't look but once at
him, and then drop your glance Immediately.
After church don't accept gentlemans com
pany unless he proifers it, and let your iudg-
ment guide you thereafter.
Volcano weekly ledger., 1856-06-28

WoaAN.--An exchange says that God in
tended all women to be beautiful, as much as
He did the rose and the morning glories; and
what lie intended they should become; they
would, if they should obey His laws, and cut
Incidence and corset strings and indulge in
freedom and fresh air. For girl to expect
to be handsom with the action of her lungs
dependant on the expansive nature of a cents
worth of tape, is as absurd as to look for tu-
lips in a snow bank, or a full grown oak in a
little flower pot.
Volcano weekly ledger., 1856-06-28

PoPpING THE QUEsrIoN-"What strange
thing is acquaintancep said beautiful girl the
other day to friend of ours-"A year ago
we had not seen each other-many season
had rolled its course, bringing hope, happi-
ness, and perchance sorrow to cognizance Of
the other. and noao aoe are so intimate Our
friend said she looked SO lovely he could not
help pressing her delicate cheeks--he asked
her if he had aught to do with the happnes,
of her future. "You are In all my dreams
of the coming days." replied she, They are
TO 10 married rext month
Volcano weekly ledger., 1856-06-28

A HAPPY MARRIAGE.-It is o gloriou.
sight to see two old people, who have wealth
cred the storms and basked in the sunshine
of life together, go hand in hand, lovingly
and truthiully, down the gentle declivity Of
time, with no anger, nor jealousy nor heart
bnrnings garnered up against each other, and
looking with hope and joy to the everlasting
youth Of heaven, where they two shall be
one forever. That is true marriage-for it
is the marriage of spirit with spirit. Their
love is woven into woof of gold, that neith-
er time nor eternity can sever.
Volcano weekly ledger., 1856-06-28

A PosER-An artist who had been en-
ployed to construct an angel for the spire of
a chourch in neighboring town, finish the
work with pair Of shoes on. Some one nm
dertook to point out the error to him, and
asked, "who ever saw an angel with brogans
on" The artist regarded the work for
a moment, with an air of modification, but
recovering himself, rejoined, you may be
right, but who ever saw one without p
Volcano weekly ledger., 1856-06-28
A. b. II o Y, NJ. d.
Dentist,

s,sess, Permanently located in Volcano,
QENsyv. Ahaving comfortable and convenient
- Office, with all the necessary lstru-
go. p'l Tools and appliances, will do any kind of
N PVlA lhat pertains TO the profession of Dentistry
a. manner which shall give entire satisfaction or
'N money refunded.
=. af''ucia teeth inserted on Gold Plate or Pivot
c.,s ile case may require. Teeth plugged with Pure
11, 1p, or extracted. Children's Teeth regulated
% ~aea necessary; and all diseases of the GUMS (the
or wv NJ i which is called scurvy of the Gums,) cured
W FAY Chloroform administered If desired.
~ Terms reasonable.
W' Y 3m
Volcano weekly ledger., 1856-06-28
L.. =. scott,

ns,u.LcAN0 BOOT AND SHOE STORE,
RESPECTFULLY informs the citi
M8IfN zens of Volcano and vicinity that
Esa17zaA 4As>Ahe has large assortment of
If on . ana Shoes on hand, which he will dispose
'n lne most reasonable teams.
on hand. ''"' VI onoe 'iu''hss Vo"''""''
srdos @n also prepared to manufacture Boots to
n we Warrant all work done by U.S.
mannan All kinds of repairing done in suitable
CAIIsf CAT and at the shortest notic-s GIVE EN- A
jan IL -
Volcano weekly ledger., 1856-06-28
The Song of the Locomotive.

Reware beware! for | come in my might,
With scream, and a scowl Of scorn;
With speed like the mountain eagles flight,
When he rides the breeze of morn.
Ayauntl avaunt for heed you not,
Nor pause for the cry of pain;
rejoice DER the slaughter my wheels have
wrought,
And laugh at the mangled slain
Away-away-o'er valley and plain
sweep with voice of wrath
In fieecy cloud wrap my train,
AS tread my iron path
My bowels are fire and my arm is steel,
My breath is a rolling cloud;
And my voice peels out as onward wheel,
Like the thunder rolling loud.
All day all day, do my sincws play,
When my suns bright rays are cast;
AT the midnight hour fly on my way,
Like a death-fend bowling past
pear the wealth. OF 4 thousand cltmes.
The pearls of the briny sea-
The produce Of lands where the church bell
chimes,
And the gold of the dark Caflree.
roar on the beach of the roaring deep,
Where the sea-shells touch my wheels,
Through the desert land with howl / sweep,
And the yellow harvest fields.
Ispeed through the city's busy streets,
Where the thronging crowds are found,
Who fly at the sound of my iron feet,
Like the hare at the baying hound.
traverse the regions of burning heat
The Equator hears my scream;
And breathe the silence of winters retreat
Where the glittering snow-felds, CLEAN,
The wild beasts fly when my voice they hear
Through the sounding forest ring,
And the sons of men stand mute with fear;
OF earth am the king.
Volcano weekly ledger., 1856-06-28

NATuRALIsTs have remarked that the squir-
rel is continually chattering to his fellow
squirrels in the woods This we have every
reason to suppose, arises from that animals
love of gossip, as he is notoriously one of
the greatest tail-bearers among his tribe
Volcano weekly ledger., 1856-06-28

NEw KIND OF BurrER-On the banks of
the Nigger, in Africa they have a tree call
ed the Shea, from which excellent butter is
obtained. The tree is like our oak, and the
fruit somewhat resembles the Spanish olive.
The kernal Of the fruit is dried in the sun and
then boiled, and the butter thus obtained is
winter, frmer, and of richer flavor than
that obtained from the COW, besides keeping
sweet year without salt. The growth and
preparation of this article is one of the lead
Ing objects of African industry, and consti-
tutes the main article of their inland com.
merce. If the present prices continue, we
recommend our dealers to import supply Of
the vegetable butter of Africa; Or it may be
the tree can be acclimated, and every mar
have a butter tree in his yard. What vii
then become of the cows?
Volcano weekly ledger., 1856-06-28
NOTICE.

4 messing of the stockhoniders of the Vol
VoIcsanao ao Water and Mining Company, held in
eleetsa 4 lne following members we're unanimously
'''''sd Trustees and 0fiicers:
Fnu TRUSTEES.
~ .; Harris, NJ. w. Gordon. j. C. shipman J.
"iey, Geo. Muncton.
T. OFFICERS
AehiS, Pres. Treas. and Cent Snp's.
Y.ls.no ~. Gro. MuNcros SeeretarH
iss . ieo6. febiG-I7:ly,
Volcano weekly ledger., 1856-06-28

ASTRONOMERS say that if cannon ball
we're fired from the Earth to Saturn, il would
be $50 years getting there In that event,
Professor John Phoenix thinks the people Of
Saturn would have ample time to dodge the
shot
Volcano weekly ledger., 1856-06-28

MRs. Smithers says her husband was once
the greatest military man in the country
For two years he was a Lieutenant in the
Horse Marines, after which he was promoted
to Captaincy in the regular company Of
Sapheads and Minors
Volcano weekly ledger., 1856-06-28

ONE OF THE MissERIEs OF HUMAN LIrE.--
Being composltor on newspaper, and
having to insert the marriage of the girl you
love, with man old enough TO be your father
he is rich and you are poor
Volcano weekly ledger., 1856-06-28
THE LAUNCHING.

BY wN. B. GLAZIER.
She starts-she moves-she seems to feel
The thrill of life along her keel
And spurning with her feet the ground.
With one cxulting, joyous bound,
She leaps into the oceans arms
ILoSorELLow.
Well may they deck the ship to-day
With colors haunting free,
Well may she wear her best array,
SO soon a bride to be;
Long has the dainty beauty kcp.
Ter lover from her charms,
But now her last long sleep is slept,
We give her 10 his arms.
Oh guard our darling from the storm,
Thy bosom never bore
A proulcr or more faultless form,
tarer love before.
Tame down thy billow's laundering shocks
Thy foaming wrath, o Sea
And keep her from the angry rocks
That lie along her lea.
Her home has been where green hills kiss
The rivers srippling tide,
But oh our eyes must learn to miss
The Oceans new made bride,
Where white-capp'd waves forever rise,
Where sea birds skim the foam,
Far, of beneath the sea kissed skies,
Our beauty seeks her home.
All, proud may be the mariners
That stand upon her deck;
They little fear, in strength like hers,
The tempest or the reck;
And proudly may her ensign fly
That bears the stripes and stars;
The peace that builds ship like this
Is north thousand pars.
Volcano weekly ledger., 1856-06-28

A YOUNG lawyer trying to establish him
self in business, is in one respect like a young
physician--he needs patience.
Volcano weekly ledger., 1856-06-28

EDUcArroN in Austria is curiously illustra.
ted by the following, which we take from an
English paper:-"A AT the last meeting of the
Industrial Society of Vienna, one of the
speakers, discussing the want of education
and the prejudice against it amongst the ira
ding classes, observed-I know manufac-
turer whose educational training led him SC
far as to write letter decently, and even to
use correct and appropriate language. All
well / myself read letters addressed to him
by other merchants, declaring that they
would no longer have dealings with him if he
didn't give up that new tangled NONSENSE
He has, consequently, been compelled to
leave his letter-writing to one of his work
men, whose style is sufficiently barbarous, and
whose writing is suitably illegible."
Volcano weekly ledger., 1856-06-28

A Fool AND HIS FoMY.-An exchange
paper relates that in Pittstown Rencsa-
ellier county, n. T., man with his rifle at
arms length, at twenty PAGES, shot potato
from the head of another The potato was
cut in two, and by the force of the ball a
vale as big as a mans finger was raised or
the others head, and the poor fellow thought
his skull was split, though no blood was
drawn nor any real harm done. The truth
is, party in the tavern somewhat elevated,
had been discussing the story of William
Tell, and that led to the perilous trial The
sufferer says it was the first and the last
time that he will ever stand as living illus
tration of Swiss patriotism
Volcano weekly ledger., 1856-06-28

SoME slandering bachelor says it is much
joy when you first get married, but more jar.
after year or two.
Volcano weekly ledger., 1856-06-28

"OLp age is coming upon me rapidly as
the urchin said when he was stealing apples
from an old mans garden, and saw the
owner coming furiously, with a cowhide in
hand
Volcano weekly ledger., 1856-06-28

A DISTINGUISHED literary lady was once
found in paroxysm of tears over the tomb
Of Washington, at Mount Vernon, but which
turned out to be an ice house
Volcano weekly ledger., 1856-06-28

A Curious CAsE.-About year and O
half ago widow lady by the name of Smith,
residing on Suffolk street, in this city, drank
some water from spring at the seashore
and as she supposed, swallowed a small eel.
Since then, she has been graduly getting out
of health, and at length her illness became
so severe and alarming that her life was
thought to be in great danger No medi
cine or physician could give her relief till
last week DR.. Huntoon being called in
gave her potion that, on Saturday morning
relieved her of live eel foot in length
The eel has been preserved in spirits, and is
decidedly an ugly looking customer The
lady is greatly relieved, but thinks there is
another of the "varments" left behind
LoweH NeleS.
Volcano weekly ledger., 1856-06-28

Why are Shanghai roosters like early
Spring flowers? Because they are Grow
cusses.
Volcano weekly ledger., 1856-06-28

A YOUNG lady being recommended to ex
ercise for her health, said she would jump a
an offer and run her own risk.
Volcano weekly ledger., 1856-06-28


FoUND AT LAsr-A man who never de-
clines Office on account of circumstances
over which he has no control"
A merchant who has never said that his
business was only ''tolerably goodD and mo-
ney hard to get these times
A man who never took the beam out of
bis own eye without poking it in somebody
else's.
A creditor who is never very much in need
Of money.
A politician who never invited particular
attention to his public acts or challenged
select investigation without party prejudice,
while representing his constituents on a for
mer occasion.
A statesman who is governed solely by
desire to benefit the public
A thinking man who is not disliked by
fools.
Numerous prayers which have been answr-
ed before they were forgotten by the authors
those were the prayers made by the Earth
for rain
A man who is a fool and capable of
Judging of another person, whether he be
fool or not.
A host of men who keep the command
ment 'loye thy neighbor as thyselfp-but
they are women.
Volcano weekly ledger., 1856-06-28

A WAC proposes to publish new paper,
TO be called the Corst, With an original tale
every week
Volcano weekly ledger., 1856-06-28

"CrRcuMsrAScEs h-alters cases." said the
Cockney, whoo be saw the two hard easss'
hung
Volcano weekly ledger., 1856-06-28
BANK EXCHANGE.

N The REAR OF DIR. MuNcKroN's DRUG STORE,
AS received new stock of choice Wines, Bran
IL dles and Cigars. Main street Volcano.
SMITH d YOUNG.
"t u Ia 1y
Volcano weekly ledger., 1856-06-28
w. HENRY ZONES,
R. N. Briggs
''IVVa'I .. D a
BRIGGS d AxTELL,

A TTORNE US A T La w,
JACKSON, AMADoR COUNTY, CAL.
oFFlCE-At the Court House.
nov "a 5-ly
Volcano weekly ledger., 1856-06-28


A SHORT FUNERAL.-A friend relates to
us the following strange thoughts of strange
man.
| was recently crossing the Suspension
Bridge at Niagara Falls, in the cars. The
scene was new to most of us, and its sublim-
ity was observed in silence. When midway
Of the bridge, | noticed stranger near me,
who had raised his window, and now sat with
folded arms looking steadily down into the
abiss, upon the troubled waters that boiled
and foamed more than two hundred feet be-
low us, as they sped their way to the ocean.
His look and manner fixed my attention, and
while was wishing for key to his thoughts,
without observing me, or any one else, but as
if addressing the surge that foamed and
flashed amid the dark shadows down the
gorge, he solemnly and slowly enunciated:
"When this bridge does go, the funeral
will be short one"
What a thought Yes, short indeed
would such funeral be, as all present real
lied. A single shrek, one solemn plung-
these would constitute the whole-and instan-
tly all traces of even the horrid grave would
disappear for ever
Volcano weekly ledger., 1856-06-28
III, l)oltano fDreklp ieoser,
PUBLISHED EVERY SATURDAY, BY
sop,yCER g. DAINGERFIELD.
- spRlSeER' -------1 = 49,
TT q M - :
A Advertising.

-. ccnare Of II lines, first INSERTION, s3--each
,,S,eaueni Insertion, $ 90. IN,
sr liberal deduction on the above rates will
S made for quarterly and yearly advertisements
" - LEGAL ADVERTISEMENTS
.,., !. ;,oarted at the following rates:-Two Dol
WIZ " snare for the first Insertion and One Dol
ns ~ aer pr sonare for each subsequent insertion
Volcano weekly ledger., 1856-06-28
lob PRINTING.

,,..,, nrenared to do job Printing of ecery de-
We wa! -. n style superior to any other office in
q .I'e.'Oti esnUtbern Mines, and at as fair rates
Volcano weekly ledger., 1856-06-28

JoNATHAs's H0SrrSc EXCLUSION
you ever hear of the scrape and Uncle
Zeikel had ducking on the Connecticut river?"
ask Jonathan Timbertoes, while amusing his
old Dutch hostess, who had agreed to enter
tanned him in consideration of a bran new
tin pan.
"No never did--do tell it,"
"Well, you must know that / and Uncle
Ieke took it in our heads to go q cunning
after ducks, in fathers skift; so in we got
and skulled down the river; proper sight
of ducks flew backwards and forwards, tell
ye, and bime by few of them Lit down on
the marsh and went to feeding mussels
catched up my powder horn to prime and IL
slipt out of my hand and sunk to the bottom
OF the river The water was amazinly clear.
and ] could see it ON the bottom. Now |
couldn't swim lot, so | said to Zeke, you're
clever fellow-just let me take your powder
horn TO prime; and don't You think the stin-
gy critter wouldn't. Well sez !, you're pret-
ty goon diver and if you'll dive and get it,
III give you primin. | thought he'd leave
his powder horn but he didn't; he stuck 1t
in his pocket, and down he went, and there
he stands
Here the old lady opened her eyes with
wonder, and pause of some minutes ensued
when Jonathan added
II looked down. and what do you think
the critter was doing? There he was, a sit
ting right on the bottom Of the river pourin
out of my powder horn into his'n?"
Volcano weekly ledger., 1856-06-28

and exhausted. Their families were not per.
mltted Immediately to meet them; Physicians
were present to look after their well being,
and everything done to make sure of the
results of the long labors, viz, the preserva-
tion of their lives. Pearson, the older man,
had huttering at the heart; the Others
seemed to be ''as well as could be expected y
Their faces were covered to protect their eyes.
The boy, Savage, it is said, made enquiry the
first thing after "chew Of tobacco" the
rest after their families and friends. They
had taken some sleep on some dry dirt which
they had piled up for that purpose; but
had no idea of the time that had elapsed.
Notwithstanding these men were thus i'm
bedded in the earth, perhaps their preserya-
ton from death by hunger was prevented by
that very fact. In the English mines, men
have lived even sixteen days without food
The very want Of light and free circulation
Of air, the moisture of their tomb, together
with the lack Of oxygen to carry off the par
ticles eliminated from the body. may have had
some effect in preventing that exhaustion
which has accompanied hunger in the open
air, in arid plains or on the salt ocean.
New-York daily tribune. [volume] (New-York [N.Y.]) 1842-1866, 1856-01-30
ANOTHER COMMERCIAL CONvRN.
TION.

The Richmond Enquirer has an article on South
ern Commercial Convention again about to be
held. TO heal the business and industrial wounds of
the South-ever pteously gaping. We have
remarkable affection for these Southern Conven-
tons Indeed Of all things south Of the Potomac,
we wish to make much of them. They are mimi
tably n5if in theirway In the absence of Burton's
Iheater and the Jolly comedian who presides there,
Southern Convention is the next best joke that
We know of, and everybody must like those things
which make us laugh. Indeed, it is possible that
so long as these Southern Conventions are held
we shall be spared that terrible war with
the South, which we were saved from in 1920,
in 1880, inls32, and in 1850. For how can
We be really warlike north of the Potomac,
when these jolly Conventions, with their period
lefty Of broad farce loom up Who can be
angry with people that get live Bishop to deliver
an hour or twos discourse on the settlement of
that stupendous geographical bore, AmazOnia, the
said Bishop having about as much notion of lead
ing the martyryan thithcr as he has of jumping
into boiling sugar. kettle Or, how is it posi-
bic to be irate with those who catch live poet
(and one erst so praised even in gangrenous Blacks
New-York daily tribune. [volume] (New-York [N.Y.]) 1842-1866, 1856-01-30
NICARAGUA.
hard fighting

The news from Nicaragua still shows General
Walker firm in the possession of his conquest, and
receiving constant reenforcements from this coun-
Try. Indeed, our Special Correspondent reports
that on board the very steamer which carried him
out to San Juan del Norte, and which was strictly
searched by the authorities here before sailing,
considerable number of men for Walkers army
went as passengers, having their military organ-
zation complete at the start. The official paper of
Costa Rica, though hostile to Walker also admits
that his government is becoming better established
An instance of the same discretion which seems to
have guided the movements of the successful chief
Tain ever since he arrived at Granada, has just been
furnished in his separation from Gen. Jercz his
Minister for Foreign Affairs. Jerez being an old
personnel and political friend of Cabahas, the ex-
He'd Precedent Of Honduras, insisted that Nicaragua
shosh at once make war upon the party now dom.
inant in that State Cor the restoration of Cabanas
and the Democrats to the control of its affairs.
This crusade Walker refused to engage in, alleging
that Nicaragua was too greatly exhausted by her
own protracted civil war, and too much in need of
devotmg all the energies of her inabitants to drain
Ing and cpltivatng the country to be able to do
anything In the civil wars Of her neighbors. This
hs jodicious decision, for though such an invasion
Of Honduras would have been supported by the
Hcndurene Democrats, 1t would have given color
10 the assertion already industriously crculated in
Central America, that the Yankee leader means to
conquer and absorb the whole country, and would
have precipitated conflict with a large body of
Che natives of Honduras San Salvador and C,sta.
msla. Such conflict is now not likely to occur,