davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Abbeville banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1847-1869, 1856-04-24

A GENERAL COMPLAINT.

our 0uny Mcn.-Standing on the
corners of our streets, lounging in the bar
rooms of our hotels, hanging on at our
groceries, and saloons, sauntering along
the side walks, with hands in their pockets,
may at any time be noticed an array of
young men and boys that may we'll be
made the subject Of serious reflection and
apprehension by the good people of our
village. Boys of less thar half score of
years artifully puff their cigars; very young
men drink freely when liquor was obtaina-
ble, and vainIy boast of the capaJlity TO
withstand the effects Of the liquid fire, as
if therein consisted their claim to manhood.
Night is made hideous by their bois,crous-
ness; day is dcsccratcd by their intlo-
lcnce.
The young are extremely susceptible of
being contaminated by the vices with which
they are brought in contact; the tuitions
of youth, be they good or evil, afford an
index to the career Of the man. Many of
them have never had any restraints thrown
upon them, and consequently cannot he
deemed alone responsible for the profitless
life they are leading. While VIC take into
consideration the fact that many of them
have parents or guardians Of respectable
standing in society, to whom they have 4
right to look for the means of education
or employment, they may be looked upon
with compassionate forbcarance, while they
whose imperative duty it is to exercise
espionage over them cannot be too strongly
rcbukcd. Instead Of allowing them to cdu-
cate themselves in the schools of vice, as
they are -now doing, parents should see
that their leisure hours are spent in our
common schools. Instead of allowing
them to walk unmolested down the road
to ruin, their guardianship should make
them useful members Of society. Though
the parent be not aware Of the gross error
he is committing in ncglecting his child,
he is in measure held responsible for his
errors.
1t is evident, parents as general thing do
not exercise that vigiant watchfuncss over
their charges that their well being demands.
Sufficient care is not taken TO prevent their
coming in contact with the haunts of Draw
lers, drunkartis, and gamblers. Often they
make no efforts to give their sons honor.
able employment, and perhaps ohener, sons
who have become refractory 10y parental
mismanagemcnt refuse to engage in man.
uai labor because OF the misconccption
that it is degrading. Some of them urge the
plea, as palliation for the vciousness that
they cannot find employment, and urge
indigence as IN excuse for not educating
their children. Unfortunately this may be
true of many of them, though we are conf
dent all may be given some means of prof.
tably cxpcnding their time HAiehall
Chronicle of Murch IA.
The Abbeville banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1847-1869, 1856-04-24

4 Rougc Detcctor-It was lately re-
marked that an exceedingly brilliant audi
tory, amongst which were many very ele-
gantly dressed ladies, attended, at Berlin,
lecture on chemistry, delivered by one of
the most celebrated chemists of the age
After witnessing number of beautiful ex-
pcrimcnts and hearing Of the marvels of
science, young lady grew fatigued and
requested her husband to lead her from
the hall.
"My love-" said the gentleman, on reach
ing the landing place outside, "wipe your
cheek, there's large blue spot upon it."
The lady, much surprised, turned to look
at her reflection in the mirrored window of
a shop they were passing, and was almost
petrified to observe that the rouge on her
cheeks had become blue, in consequence
of the chemical decomposition occasioned
by the gas the professor had used in ma
king his experiments. She quickly wiped
her face, and stifcd her vexation in the
thought that she should find herself amply
revenged upon the other ladies in the hall.
In reality, the lecture closing at this mo.
ment the audience began to disperse, and
the gentleman and his wife almost burst
with laughter at the sight Of cheeks of yell
low, blue, black, violet and other colors,
which now made their appearance in the
street. Some of the ladies who had man
ufactured for themselves ivory compilations,
rosy checks, coral lips and ebony eyebrows,
were so transformed that they would have
excited the envy OF peacock. It is whis-
pered that a lecture from the professor
would produce similar effects in other cities
besides Berlin. That chemist will be
warmly welcomed should he visit Paris
Paris Letter.
The Abbeville banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1847-1869, 1856-04-24

EV A country paper, which sometimes
iIIumines our sanctum by its presence, is
remarkable for its typographical accuracy.
For instance, in speaking of gentleman
saving his wife from death, it says: "Tle
gentleman secured pole cat rcscoured his
wife from wafery grave" instead of "The
gentleman secured a pole and rescued his
wife from a watery grave" Again, in
speaking Of concert singer, it says: "The
venerable christer came forward" instead of
the venerable chorister," &c. A magnif-
cent editorial leader closes with the warn
ing, "Beware the ides of March," rendered
thus: "Beware the ideas of Mush."
The Abbeville banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1847-1869, 1856-04-24
EPITAPHs.

most curious perhaps arc those found among
epitaphs and monumental Inscriptions
One would hardly go to graveyard to
find food for mirth, yet so mingled are the
incongruous and the ludicrous with the pa
thetic and the solemn, that one is quite as
often moved to laughter as to tears by its
monuments and memorials.
The following sepulchr.l vagarics are all
genuine. The first is from churchyard in
Brighton, England:
Here lays,
Killed by chaisc.''
Of a similar character is the following
from n graveyard in Massachusetts
"IIere lies
The Bodies of John and Lucy Lcavcn,
Killed by Lightning sent from Heaven,
In l177"
This was proposed for Francis Grose, a
celebrated antiquary and humorst of the
eighteenth century:
Here lies Francis Grose:
On Thursday, May 12, l79l,
Death put all end to
His views aud prospects"
John johnson: provost Of Dundee, was
much beloved by his townsmcn, who, to
show their reverence for his memory, offer
cd reward for the best pocticaI inscription
for his tombstone. Two only were offered.
The first ran thus:
" Here lies John Johnson, provost of Dundee,
Here lies him. horc lies he!"
This was thought unsurpassablc; but
when the town clerk opened and read the
second, the prize was unanimously awarded
to that. 1t was rs follows:
Here lies John Johnson, provost of Dundee;
lIalelujia IIallelujee."
The following is from graveyard in
Providence, r. l.:
I" IIor soul grew SO f,,st within.
1t burst the outward shell Of Sin,
And so was hatched a cherubm'
In St. Mary's churchyard, Whi,,lesca, in
the Isle Of Ely, England, is the following
strange and ridiculous inscription:
ilcIC tic tle bOuICS OIL
Elizabeth Addison,
Her son,
And old Roger to come"
A traveller who visited the place nearly
twenty years after this stone was set, says
that "old Roger" WAS still living.
The next is quaint but pithy. 1t is found
on the tombstone of the Earl of Devon.
who died in 1419:
Oh, oh who lies here?
IT'S !, the Earl OF Dcvonshire,
With Kate, my wife, to mcc full dcrc;
Wee lyved together fifty-fve ycre:
That wee spent, wee had;
That wee gave, wee have;
That wee left, wee IOstc.''
The following we think are unsurpassed i:
ooh, memory! thou ling'rng murmurcr,
Within joys broken shell,
Why have l not, i'll losing all lov'd,
Lost thee as we'll 2"
"IIe took the cup of life 10 sip,
But bitter twas to drain
He put it meekly from his lip,
Aud went to sleep again"
on AN INFANT.
Rest soft thy dnst-wait the Almighty's will
Rise with the just-and be an angel stiA!'
The Abbeville banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1847-1869, 1856-04-24

Cabbage Worms.-Jobns Farar, one Of
the most practical farmers in the State
says, these destructive insects may be de-
stroyed in the following easy and simple
way:
Break of large Leaf from the botton,
OF the cabbage, and pfaceitoh the top, up.
per side down. DO tbisint the evening anj
in .th the morning you will fiud or .auita
"ll the worms on each cabbags, s,hass taken
up their quarters on thisslsaf. tha
leaf and kiilthcin orfsod1hem u tis SlSsek,
ems, and place the leaf back Il there 30 say
more to, catch."
The Abbeville banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1847-1869, 1856-04-24

EH- An exchange, noticing the present
ofsa silyerae cup TO a. contemporary, says:
p sHe.needs nc. cup. lie, can drink from
any vessel that contains liquor, whether the
neck of bottle, the mouth of demiiohn
the spie Of keg, or the bung Of a bar.
rel"
The Abbeville banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1847-1869, 1856-04-24
AP r IL.

A timid, blushing maiden,
With downcasi, fearful eyes,
In her hand an opening rosebud
Perfumed by dcwy sighs.
OFT advancing, oft retreating,
She has won our heart the while,
Aud we cannot choose but love her
For her tear. drop and her smile.
The Abbeville banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1847-1869, 1856-04-24

H There is lady in Boston who is
habitually SO sleepy that her curiosity can
not be awakened.
The Abbeville banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1847-1869, 1856-04-24

E1- The young lady who fell in., love
hasjust been pulled out by the daring fellow
who successfully struggled with tho world,
The Abbeville banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1847-1869, 1856-04-24

~ Why is n fly one of tI,s tallest of
insectss Because he stands over six feet
without shoes s'or stockings.
~ A man in Kentucky was so enor-
mously big, that when lie died it took two
clergymen and a boy to preacl, his funeral
sermon,
The Abbeville banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1847-1869, 1856-04-24
ROMANCE AND poRK,ANp-sEANs.

There are some people who appear to
have no sentiment about them. This was
practically illustrated a couple of days ago.
A young friend Of ours has nice little
wife, and is brisk at housekeeping, but is
notoriously forgetful about attending to
the numerous little provisionary orders,
just as necessary for happy household as
love itself-for people with well filled stom-
achs are always more inclined to love
than the hungry and cold, no matter if
romance and roast beef are incompatible
in books. Well, the other morning, after
receiving strict injunctions not to forget
this and that little trifle, and especially
"some meat for dinner" our friend grew
sentimental with the parting endear-
ments.
any DEAR" he said, "you have not
given mo that lockct with your likeness in
it, which I ought to have had before our
marriage"
"Oh, you don't want it-you are only
pretending.
Pretending, dearest! Nay, promise
to wear it next to my heart till death parts
u.s."
"And will it always remind you"
"Aye, it will always remind me, sweet
ono, Of our early vows-of my early love-
of the angel spirit four friend is romantic)
guiding and lighting my pathway"
"But, my dear, will it remind you-''
"Yes, dearest one, it will remind me
every time l gaze at it, every time press
my lips to it, Of the holy love bear its
angel original, Of the deep devotion of life
which is all hers, Of"
"But my DEAR" interrupted the fond and
happy wife, intent on her idea; will it re-
mind you to be sure and get that meat for
dinner 2"
Sentiment and romance drapped, and
pork and beans triumphed.
The Abbeville banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1847-1869, 1856-04-24

w Why is cows tail like tie letter
F? Because it is the end of beef,
The Abbeville banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1847-1869, 1856-04-24

re- "Zcbediah," said country school
master, "who is the Emperor of Russia 2"
"Wigtoria," was the reply. "And who is
the Dey of Algiers 2" "Thunder and
lightnin'," cried Zeb, "Tve hearn tell of the
Day of Judgment, and Day of Pcntecost,
and Thanksgivin' Day-but cave on tile
other"
The Abbeville banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1847-1869, 1856-04-24
WILLIE.

" Rest soft thy dust-wait the Almghty's will
Rise with the just-amd be an angel shNr'
The Abbeville banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1847-1869, 1856-04-24

Which, added to the in
crease Of income, makes Il
difference Of
Orleans independent standard. [volume] (Irasburgh, Vt.) 1856-1871, 1856-07-18
miscellaneous Grizzlies.
THE FIRST STATE PRISONER.
BY GRANT THoRBURN.

landed in New York, June IVA, by
trade rough nailmaker, in the 22d year
of my age. In October following / went
up to the Park to see a man hung, Cat
that time the Park was out of town, and
only $4,000 inhabitants). With ten thou
sand fools, some bigger and some smaller
than myself, we stood watching the vi
bration of the rope and the iron hook,
during two long hours. Then the sheriff
stood on the scaffold and read reprieve.
! confess / was very much disappointed
/ expected to see a hanging, but no hang
ing was there.
The man was Noah Gardner. He
kept large shoe store in New York.
He committed forgery, which, at that
time, was death by the laws of the United
States. The state prison in New York
was building at this time; this was the
first prison erected in the world for re-
form, instead of hanging. The Society
of Friends were the chief promoters o.
this humane system. One room in tho
prison was now ready to receive crimi.
mails. The Friends procured from the
governors Communication from death Il
the state prison for life.
Being a shoemaker by trade, they gave
him stool, wax, lasts and avis, and her,
commenced the state prison mandatory
Next court, six vagabonds were sent Il
keep him company; them he learned IL
make shoes. l visited the prison thre,
years after this. In one large room sa
three hundred shoemakers. Noah wa
provost marshall, walking through tn,
ranks with cane in hand, furnishing evil
doors and praising them that did well
Seven years having passed over him, tn
Friends waited on the governor. Friend
said they, ''seven years ago you woul,
have hung this man now be is a reform
cd member saved to society"
He received an unconditional pardon
and came out The Friends found him
store on Pearl street, found him money
endorsed his notes, and gave him tbei
custom. Immediately he was in thri
wing way. He joined the Society q
Friends, and said thee and thou with III
best Of them. He had a wife, and, chill
dren arrived at maturity.
His journeyrnen we're chiefly men {
families and wrought in their own house,
Orleans independent standard. [volume] (Irasburgh, Vt.) 1856-1871, 1856-07-18

On tho other hand, there is another
class Of COWS naturally disposed to turn
all their food into the pail. Turn cow
Of this kind into rich grass along with the
above. and she will rather get poorer ev-
erv dav. if the milk is taken from her;
while her plump and sleek rival is gam
inc in weight. The former will consume
greatly more grass and water than tne
latter, returning for it, in proportion a
still greater quantity of milk, but inferior
in quality. In town diaries, when fed on
sour grains, distiIlers' wash, &c, the guam
tity sometimes yielded is almost incredi-
BILE. When such is the case, however,
life is generally short, especially If COWS
are in a low state at calving. Hence the
reason why dairymen purchase near
calves of this class in good condition.
The above two classes may be called
extremes between which there Is mean
cows which if turned into rich field
of grass along with the other, would keeF
themselves in good condition and give 8
medium quantity of milk, the quality de-
pending upon the richness of the food
Marx Lane Erpress.
Orleans independent standard. [volume] (Irasburgh, Vt.) 1856-1871, 1856-07-18

One day he gave man pair OF boots
''Now, friend" says he, ''thee must bring
home these boots on fourth day evening.
SAYS the man, "You shall have them"
The boots did not come home till the fifth
day evening. Noah was wroth- de
gave the man a long lecture on the evils
of disappointment and want of punctuall-
ty. When he drew mp to breathe, the
man replied;
"Sir, ! am a poor man; have a wife
and three children, the youngest only
forty-eight hours old. had to tend to
my wife and cook for my children. 1t
was not in my power to finish the boots
sooner. Noah still continued to magnify
the horrors of disappointment. The man
grew angry; his Scotch blood boiled in
his veins he struck the counter with his
fist like a sledge-hammer. Il know,
says he sits terrible thing to be disap-
pointed. / remember going up to the
park to see you hung, and l never was
so disappointed in my life when saw the
reprieve.
Now this was a knock down argument
as an Irishman would say. 1t was case
in point, as they say in court; and fac
beyond all controversy, as they say IL
Congress. Noah was dumb; he opened
not his mouth. He gave the man anoth
err pair to make, kept him in employ
ment, treated him kindly, but as the mar
said he never heard the word diSappoin
drop from his lips thereafter.
Noah went on prospecting and to pros
per. One day he borrowed various sumi
Of money, and obtained number of en-
dorsements. The bills he changed fol
gold the endorsements he got shaved il
Wall street. That night he was off fol
parts unknown, taking with him a deal
sister, the wife of a young friend, to chez
him on the way. This story is true Il
the letter, and being the first subject 0
state prison reform, the day dreamers o
the present time may settle the question
whether hanging or state prison is the
surest way of curing consummate vii
lain. His family and friends never hearc
from him.
Orleans independent standard. [volume] (Irasburgh, Vt.) 1856-1871, 1856-07-18
DIFFERENCE IN COWS.

Cows under certain constitutional cir
cumstances, are naturally disposed to
convert their food into fat; SO much So
that there is great difficulty in keeping
some individuals in breeding state, and
more especially the improved Short.
horns, Devons, and Herefords. Turn a
COW of this description into rich grass
and she Is soon useless for anything but
the SHAMELESS. The quality of milk she
gives may be fine but the quantity almost
nothing. We have had a Devon, the
property of a noble duke, which carried
OF the first prize in her class at one of the
Royal Agricultural society's meetings
not giving more than quart at a milk.
ing.
Orleans independent standard. [volume] (Irasburgh, Vt.) 1856-1871, 1856-07-18

The Poor MANS PIPE.-We admit
that the money expended for tobacco
might buy good clothes and wholesome
food; but among the sunbeams let into
the cottage, not the least is the light of
the poor mans pipe. We write now with
especial reference to the treatment of
women; and we are convinced that the
pipe has a very sedative and tranquil
sing effect. Much angry and bitter feel
ing, we are convinced, is pulled out and
dissipated with the fumes of the tobacco.
On the whole, the pipe is not an offence,
but protection to women.-North Brit
ish Repieac.
Orleans independent standard. [volume] (Irasburgh, Vt.) 1856-1871, 1856-07-18
1DnetifaI 5clrrtions.
From the Home Journal.
WOMANS FAITH.

When life grows dark-its fattering gloss
It's bright decisions dimmed and gone
When worldly gold has turned to dross,
And hope no longer lures US on,
lis then we test the precious ore
In wolnan's breast, untried before.
Sbould seas prove rough, and skies obscured,
And angry tempests rend my sails
Nv bark, in no sweet haven mOored,
The sport Of waves, and adverse gales;
OH then, my love, ia turn to thee,
Nv polar star on Hfes rude sea-
Or IL, beneath some stricken tree,
That emblemed forth my own stern lot,
stood, in midnight reverie,
By all, perchance, but thee forgot;
lis then for thy dear voice I'd long,
10 drown the night-bird's boding song.
Or when, in winters saddening hours,
Their lev chills would round me creep
When frosts had spoiled my summer bowers,
Aad dark forebodings banished sleeps
Oh! whence would come my ray Of bliss,
And thou not near, in gloom like this?
But should those waves subside to rest,
And gentle Gains DER ocean reign,
The halcyon, slumbering on her nest,
Proclaim sweet peace restored againi
Would then look to thee alone,
When myriad lights around me shone7
Or should some genial spring restore
That blighted tree to forest green
The Owls dull chant be heard no more,
Where blither nDiastrels cheered the scenei
Would thought recur, as day grew bright,
TO that dear voice-that lonely night?
Or doomed on foreign strands to roam,
Bv uaught sustained but dream of thee;
Should happier fortunes call me home
Nv fettered spirit once more free
Would it not find, in liies bright streams,
A lethe for those woe-wrought dreams?
Thus, thus mans heart-that senseless thing
When swoln with pride, secure in case;
While suppliant tendrils round it cling,
Deems woman's faith but such as those;
Nor owns, till summer wreaths decay,
In its fond clasp a constant stay.
For woman's faith, like faith divine,
Endureth firm, through time and place
Not the frail ANIMALS transient Irvine,
But the pereunial's fast embrace;
The generous ivy, Outlines seen
To clothe EN- ruin in living green. W. B.
Orleans independent standard. [volume] (Irasburgh, Vt.) 1856-1871, 1856-07-18
SAVE YOUR PLUMS NOW.

We begin to think this can be done.
We were yesterday on the grounds of one
of our best horticulturists, and saw the
application, and have some faith in its
success. Our friend thinks there is no
chance for mistake about its efficacy
He informed US that he applied it last
year, after the curculio had begun its
ravages and that it not only saved those
which were unstung, but many of the
plums on which the insect had left its
card, healed up and ripened well. The
liquid enters the opened wound and de-
stroys the egg. This is the only remedy
he had ever found to avail against this
slippery enemy of one of our best fruits
His recipe is, one pound of mistaken
lime, six pounds of salt one barrel of wa
ter.
The mixture is to be applied with a
common garden syringe. Ifone applica-
ton is not sufficient, repeat it. A single
application answered with him last year.
No time is to be lost, as the young
plums are already set, and the enemy has
begun to show himself. If the syringe
is not to be had, sprinkle on the liquid in
some other way. The mixture is cheap
and easily applied, and every man, who
has a plum tree should try it. This il
the most philosophical remedy we have
yet seen suggested, and we commend it
with more confidence than most things, tt
the notice of fruit growers. fit answer
our expectations it will be worth million
to the country.-Anaerican Agriculturist