Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1856-04-14
Splitting.

Cart! And there goes some Of bis consti-
tuition, spattered in q nasty brown gravy over
the side walk. A politician might say thst
ne was celebrating a constitutional solu-
tional solution" He is dissolving his cOnsti-
tuition at any rate
t.a ! woke early one morning, unrefreshed, in
berth on canal packet" somewhere be-
tween Phiiadelphis and Pittsburg. No won
oer that my sleep was not very sweet The
atmosphere of the little cabin was fairly thick
win putrlhed animal matter and stale tobac-
co poison III go on deck, said TO myself,
IN spite OF fogs. raw autumnal air, and colds:
50 our Jumped upon the cabin floor Splst
stitutional solvent" The whole noor ma.
aaoat with tobacco spit
That was very revelation of nsstines,
And, Mr. Curly Hair-cLirtr again ano,ho,
instalment Of our strength squirted out through
your front teeth into the gutter. Mr.. Curly
Hair, let me tell you that you are not A BIZ
better than that unutterably filthy cabin
floor. Into what foul, reeking, noisOme
cavern are you Transforming the mouth that
God gave you as passage for cleanly food
and sweet breath A spit mandatory:
mere tobacco-spit factory. Why, man, you
might as well establish gusno depot in your
house.
Chirt. There it goes, What a pity that
you couldn't be made TO carry a mug, and
keep the liquor that you brew long enough 10
see what your days work is You spit, say
once IN fifteen minutes; call 1t fifty times a
day. About a dessert spoonful each time
Twenty tablespoonfuls A tumsler full That
Is very moderate computation. Three hun
dred and sIxty-fve half pints in q year
more than twenty gallons of that aauseous
brown soup-and just so much Withdrawn
from healthy muscle, close brain fibre, elastic
bones and clear complexion
RsEVarvhaGu dnns it7I1 Wbat n
know it. L remember looking down from nv
ffth story office upon Broadway, in tho empti-
ness and quiet Of a Sabbath afternoon. but
Immediately after its whole enormous length
from Grace Church to Trinity, and especially
near the Park, in my vicinity, had been dense
ly crowded with the multitude that waited
upon the funeral Of Bill Poole The street
was ali sreckled as far as L could see, with
dark spots, as If autumn leaves had been
thickly strewn on it. A moments thought
showed me that it was tobacco spit An
American crowd blackened the whole road
way and sidewalk Of a mile Of street, with to-
bacco spit, in two hours
Chirtt Ny dear fellow, neither venting
nor splitting are inviting operations. Circum-
stances may render the performance Of either
OF them before witnesses necessary, or even
highly meritorious. But 1 must say, that or
dinarily speaking, the very faintest perception
OF common decency would teach you to avoid
such demonstrations when there is any body In
sight.
Spit away, my boy Smell bad look dirty;
be dirty; weaken your health; undermine
your strength; dim your eyes; unsteady your
hand stupefy your intellect; shorten your
life. Do all these things, if you choose but
never say that you had no advice from me 10
the contrary. Those are the triAing conse
quences of your making q filth mill out of
your mouth, munching your constitution into
that ropy soup, and squirting it out wherever
you go.-Life Illustrated.