American union. [volume] (Morgantown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1855-1859, 1856-03-01
" A.JBaJgJLb ~ 9
POLLING a RIVAL.

lhe ciltter loves me | know she
loves me - said Jonathan Doubikins, as
he sat upon the cornfeld fence media
ting on the course Of HE true love, that
was running ust es Shakespeare always
said ii did-rather roughly. "lf Sukey
Peabody has taken a shine TO that gaw-
Ky, long shanked, stammern' shy crit
ter, Gnsset, just cause he's city Teller.
che amt the gal ! took her for that's sar-
tain. Mol it's the old folks-darn their
ugly pictures. Old Miss Peabody was
alters dreadful hitalutin' critter; foil
Of big notions, and the old mans rogu-
lar softhead, driven about by his wife Jest
MS our old ono eyed rooster is drove a.
bout by our cantankerous FIVE toed Dor
Kin hen. But if don't Spite his fun my
name ain't Jonathan. Pm goin' down
10 the city by the railroad next week.
and when | come back-wake, snakes!
that's all"
The above soliloqny may serve to
give the reader some slight idea of the
clay of the land" in the pleasant rustic
village whorc the speaker resided.
Mr. Jonathan Doubikins was young
farmer, well to do in the world, and
looking out for q wife, and had been
paying his addresses to Miss Susan Pea
body, of that ilk, with fair prospect of
success, when city acquaintance of the
Peabodys, one Mr.. Cornelius Gusset,
who kept e. retail dry goods shop in
Hanover street, Boston had suddenly
made his appearance in tho field and
had commenced the "cutting out' game.
Dazzled with the prospect Of becoming
gentloman's wife, and pestered with
the opportunities of her aspiring man.
ma, the village beauty had begun to wa.
yer, when hor old lover determined on
n last and bold stroke TO foil his rival.
He went 10 the city and returned. OF
his business there he had said nothing
not even to a pumping maiden aunt who
kept house for him. He went not near
the Peabodys'; but labored in his corn
field, patiently awaiting the result of his
vaccinations.
The next day Mr.. Gusset was with
tho old folks and their daughter in the
best room of the Peabody mansion,
chatting as pleasantly as may he, when
the door opened and in rushed a very
dirty and furious lrishwoman.
Is it there We are Mister Cornelius
che screamed, addressing the astonished
Gussct. "Come out Of that before
fetch ye, ye spalpeen! Is that what 20
promised me afore tho praste, we hay
then nagurl Runnin away from me
and the childer forsakin' yer lawful wed.
ded wife, and runnn' after the Yankee
gals, we infdcl !"
Woman there must bo some mistake
here stamered Gussct, taken all aback
by this charge.
'Divil bit Of a mistake, we sarpint.
O wirra! wirra was it for the likes of
ye sacked little Dinuis McCarty, who
loved the ground throd on, and all be.
kase ye promised to make a lady of me
ye dirty thafe Of tho worruld Will
we come along to the railroad station,
where left little Patrick, because he
was 900 sick wild the small pox to come
any furder, or will ye wait ill drag
ye
'Go-go--along,' gasped Gussot go
and | will follow you!
He thought it best to temporize.
Il Civ we tin mnits, said tho virago
1fye amt there, its my cuzzin Mr.. |
Thaddy Mulgroddcry will be after ye,
we thief And away went this "uDbiJ.
den guest"
Gusset was yet engaged in stammor.
ing out denial Of all knowledge Of the
virgo, when the parlor door opened a.
gain, md little blackeyed Ratchet fac.
ed women, in a nasby silk gown and q
cap with many ribbons perchod on the
top Of her head, invaded the sanciity Of |
the parlor
rs he here p she cried in decided |
french accent. Then she added with
scream, An man Dicu 10 voilo. Icre
he is. Traitre, monster Vat for you
run away from mci dig two tree year