Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1856-11-05
EVENING STAR.
A LAUNDERING COON HINT,
From Porter's Spirit Of the Time.

u
dience of two persons, one of whom has prob.
ably heard it more times than a clock will
tick on long summers day and who, con.
sequently, prepared himself for doze as soon
as Old Tom commenced with
I'm an old man, my young fren', but |
tell you I've been through a power ov coon
hunts in my time, an I'm jus goin' TO tell yer
ov one ov EN-. It's as troo as I m settin' on
this here cheer " He was sitting on bench
at the time "Mind yer there air fellers
! who can't open their heads, bout huntin' 'spe-
| clally, but what sartain sure out comes lies
They talk jus as smoove as welvit; but know
EN- they may ri7e purity airly, but they
don't see no sun rise afore Old Tom does
They don make no mark here! land at this
he slapped himself half a foot below where
his heart beats They may hit me in the
years, but they don't tech no heart ov mine,
no how. L go in for trooth, / do. and I'm
goin' to give yer some this minnit''
AS Old Tom got up from the bench at this
"minnit," his wide awake auditor thought he
was going to the whisky barrel TO get it But
ne dldnt he only got up in order to sit down
| again.
GAS was tellin' on you, wuns. went on
thunderin coon hunt down by Strikers
| Pom. ltwaren't tprOper time, now how, to hunt
| the creeters, bein as it was the middel oy
| summer; but Lishe Proper, be was bent on
KILN coons, an We tother boys warren no
! way slow to follow arter him when he led OFF
Lishe, he had couple of the likeliest hound
dogs round them regins-One oV 'em was the
| completest dog for luggin' creeters ever seed
HOwsumever, We started from Lishe Prom
er's one July night: if L disremember right
iy. the moon wos a shinin' when we s0t out,
an arter travelin mare about two milds,
we come onter the lower eend ov the pom
Strikers POn'-and all TO onst Lishe Proper's
hounds struck coon tracks, and tooned up
their pipes like mOosicianers, L tell you, 1
| had little spaniel dog long, who tuck arter
coons nst'ral as beef bones; an purity soon /
heered him loudin' up too Says to myself
Tom, there big coon thareakouts' L
know d Jacks voice, the hull way from tooth
| to tail, an he was cryln' bout u big one tha
time. We tollored the dogs mare four rnilds
good measure, fore we treed that coon Stitch
trampOOsin | never seed the likes ov sfore
nowhere L tored my coat inter rags. an had
no britches on more n would have covered a
six launs ole baby; but the coon was treed,
shure thing, britches or no britches One Of
the feilers struck a light, an purity soon we
seed We needed it, coz there was more clouds
in the sky than you could shake sticks at
There We wos, men and boys, ours an hounds
| all rOunt the foot ov big white cedar tree, a
wiitin' for sumthin' to turn up. l never seed
TO houndS kerry on like them 'ere ones Of
Lishe's; they pitched rount like eff they ware
goin' to jump there hides off, yellin' an a
howiin, fa-hooo hOoOO- hooooOi Here Old
Tom INDUCED in prolonged howl, complete
| ly arousiDg &c 2 Of the audience, and caus-
irg him t. start sp wide awake Oh, you're
Wakin' up, are yer That q way the hounds
sung, and the boys shouted, an as the fire
! light begun to shine up the tree, some ov 'em
sOt to work firm away at every no. and
bunch was to be seen on the tree. There
was big shower ov bark hyin' around boot
that time, you may believe. Bimeby | seed
way up on top Almost branch, Mister Coon
making hisself as small as a small tater; jus as
| was goin' to FIRE, may / be dod rabbit eff
didn't see two or moro coons, On two other
branches, alongside OF the fust."
How much whiskey had you on board that
time, chg asked No 2.
Mary drop morc n could kerry jus we'll
ballusted, AZ goiu' of it unner easy sail. l
want 10 ways owiiy, an seee them three coons
as plain as see that COW grain over thore
! in the meddsr. Lishe Proper an Zeke Ssut-
| ter, they seed 'em at the same time, an I.ishe
| he was so aside hisself with seech sigh, - al
he pullt big bottle right out ov his Goa,
pocklt, an We all took big drinks OIL the
strength of sich a very blessed sight" A!
this point Old Tom got up from the bench and
went behind the bar, ostensiby to get q piece
! of tobacco. Returning, he sat down and con
/ tinued:
'.All on a suddint, Lishe hadn t more n got
| the whisky bottle inter his pOckit, afore-
| Whang whang Boom q -roong -a-ruongi -
| Here Old Tom, as an illustration Of the noise.
| dashed or the floor what he thought was an
| empty porter bottle, and which he had kept
studiously concealed until this moment, in or
der to produce stunning effect Oh his one
horse audience By mistake he got hold Of
| bottle half full of bitters, and the way it and
|: 1t and the broken glass few round the room
and over the audience was ''promscuous
What the - are you driving at 90 ask
Cd No z, jumping frCm mis- seat and trying to
! wipe of the stains from coat and pantaloOns
Old Tom stood a picture Of surprise and aston
ishmens. At last StammeriDg Oat-"Why,
why, who would .hev tho't it 1 tho't /
kn0wed there was LOthin' in that bottle. I've
fired of mOre'n n fifty of 'em q tellin' this here
story () an L never knOwed one hev bitters
| in it afore. Here, jim, come here an sweep
| up this muss Gentlemen, let's take drink.
| Hope nobody's kilt?
Wal, as 1 was sayin, Whang whang g
CNo more bottles Tom shouts No 2 Boom
a-rooDg a-roong y come the Etenin', knockin'
| things all ter bits; stunning men and dogs
such a way l never want ter see the likes ov
agin. Il was mitey dark Cor a spell with me,
l tell you. srter a while l tries 10 raise upon
| eend, an =, fust hitch, thort had a hive OF
bees in my head, sich a buzzin' an swimmin'
rount. Purity soon L comes too, an the fust
II y
| IA dead coon with one hand, an tryin' TO wipe
| the dust and bark out oy his eyes with bis
| tother.
| 80 Lishe, says |, where are we?'
5. TOther side of Jordan says he, an
| tie ferry boat broke, too, at that +! Nomstter
| we sint goin' to starven An he helt up the
coon Zeke Scutter, he was moot stunned Oy
| cnnybody: Howsumever, We got him down
\ 70 the pom, an a'ter rubin ov his face in
/ water, he come too We went back to look al
/ WHARF the litenin' hit, an may L be jammed
| if there warnt Lishe Proper's hound tryin' to
cit at another coon hangin' up in the crotch
of the tree, dead as a herrin'. We got hin
down sooner an ware on the pint Of turning
home, VIXEN, may be jammed agin. if thai
ere hound dog hadn't the track of the third
coon, an was diggin' up the ground to get a
him We all got round the hole an ware
| peerin' in, when, ov suddint, Lishe Prope
be seed the fur, an made grab at the tail
an bro't out the third coon, dead as side o
sole leather, an smellin' like a box of brim
! stun matches The litenin' had actilly du;
hole an kerried that coon under groun'