The Ashland union. [volume] (Ashland, Ashland County, Ohio) 1854-1868, 1856-12-17
gam0r0ns.
PLAYING CARDS FOR THE PRESIDENCY.
DREAM OF SUIT LovEGGOD.
" 81. OF TENNESSEE.

Fell us II ever you dreamed anything
smart your friends ought to know it, fol
the benefit ofyour car-ac-ter, for Gus:
me if you ever even thought anything
smart, awake.
Thus bantered, SUIT leaned against the
rough board counter of the doggery, with
a tumbler of whiskey in one hand, whilc
the other sounded for the bottom of a
hole in his breeches, by courtesy called
apocket-took a small sip, and began tc
tell his dream, Hear him, readers,
speak for himself:
"Gentlemenl I dreamed an unpossi.
bility tonight. I wur in Washington
City, and I know I will never be thar
onless they take me thar tn bang or cru.
city me for drinking more nur my share
CIV the peoples drink, old rot gut. But
in my dream I was thar, and no mistake
-sartin sure-at a laundering big tav'
ern, whar they ring leetlc bells tn keeE
from hollerin arter the niggers an ma.
king a noise an whar they called yu tn
yur mush by rattlin on a big still bottom
just fur the sake ov the noise; and whar
they took thirty dimes a day fur doin
nuthin fur yu an whar they gin yu sas
enuff to make yu fife lat home) fur nuth-
in at all. Darn the seat ov government
and darn every body I say !"
Tell your dream before you gel
drunk, you long-Iegged cuss you, or let
somebody tell it for you"
Thus ~reproved, Sut sheered into the
channel again.
{" Well, arter supper awhile I nosed
round ontil 1 got inter a room whar I
seed a lite, an thar sat three fellers a
playin' ov old sledge."
"Oid what ?"
"Sevon up, you drotted, weazel-
skinned, frog-legged son ov a kangaroo
This was addressed to a young speci-
men of the order intcnSuS .4~nrericanuS,
anti-Popeati6us, mudzeusinnus. who
shone resplendent from K-n, in
tights, small cam and watch ribbon, and
had a laudable desire to learn something
of the hidden mysteries of 'old sledge
He played upon an asthmetic trombone
and sscuess' when in the 'scity.'
"They wur a playin' seven up with
bran new kerds, spank, span new, an no
marke, every Teller fur hisself seemingly,
Now. gentlemen, 1 believe I kin smell
kerds, ct they are in motion, as fur as
from here to the spring, ur how the dew
il did I happin tn hit on tn that room
whar gambolling wur a gwine OF? But
thar I did go by instink, 1 reckin, and
the three fellers wur nobody On yearth
but Back cannon, Fillmore, and Free
mount, and they wur a rlayin a single
game of seven up fur the President s
cheer of these free and awful United Z
Pluribus States, thirty-one in number,
and kivering the whole yearth. Thar
vur another chap, inter that room, with
one hand under his c~oatail, an tother a
strokin over his chin, a walkin about
sorter keerless like, but fust a lookin in
ter Fillmore's hand and then inter Free.
mounts, and then a Winkin and q frown-
in, fust at one ov 'em and then tother.
Then he'd tiptoe an try to peep inter
Bucks hand. But the old Teller hilt il
under the shader of the table, and sortel
looked at it sideways hisself, and wa:
Watchin the peepin Teller, too, all the
while right clost. His name was Sea
ward, or Hellward, or sumthin oY that
sort, nc matter which.
Now, gentlemen, I kin play old sledgt
myself rite peart, and when I seed thai
it wur a game of two pluck one, an that
Buck cannon was bound to be skinned
eff his hide didn't grow fast onto his
bones, I got as mad as a bee in swarmir
time, an 1 jist thought (mind I sed nuth'
in) that I'd like tn mock enuff off ov thai
chaps skull tu make a built ladle, eff
dared tn. He is a darned snake in the
grass, sure.
Well, arter they had played put thai
hands, Mister Buck cannon SEE, a bowir
nifty perlite: 4 believe, gentlemen, ]
made high jack, an that has sot me six
eff I amt mistaken Then both on 'em
Fillmore and Freemount, spread all o
Bucks tricks out onter the table til
they saw his ace of trumps and the iacl
of trumps which he had coteh from Fill
more with the king, and then they agreet
that ne qcassix. Sea-ward sed: Yes b
reckoned that was the state of the game.
Fillmore then, as modest as a ffteel
year old gal, sed: Il made low yor
kotch my juice with yer old ace, Miste
Buck cannon, and that sits me three.
All agreed on that count, and Freemoun
leaning his cheer back, whispered hehin'
his hand to me: And ID low it wa
too; don't you think SO p an his blacl
must tuchwus twisted up like unto tw
cork-screWs; but all agreed that Fill
more was three an no mistake. Free
mount then sed L make game, an tina
sot me six with you, Mister Buck can
non.' Buck bowed to that, but Fillmor
sed SIR, I'll count game with you
this is not adzactly accordin to our IN
derstandin, si-r-rI an fur the fust tim
l-z1.zI ILL., H. ,oo1.bk h. aoJoA a. Ca