Minnesota weekly times. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1854-1859, 1856-09-13
An Irishman In the Telegraph office.

An Irishman In the Telegraph office.
Gan is this Houses Telegraph - asked Hi
herman, the other day, as he entered the Office in
the Traveller buildings. On being informed it
was, dialogue ensued, Of which the following
is as near q verbatim report as our reporter was
able to obtain:
Pat.-Is Mr.. House IMP assslw
Clerk.-No, attend to the business here
/, Pat.-Och, ye do! Well, can ye send to me
brother Mick, in New York;
Clerk.-Yes. Have you your message written?
I Patio bother! Devil need of giyin Mick
missage IN writn', at all. Just give him this five
dollar BILL sure, for to help pay the fine the black
guards put upon him.
Clerk.-But we can't send money by telegraph.
Money must go by mail.
isu't it three pecks Of lligant male have in the
house already! s,a-ga ~ sfa
Clerk.-No. You don't understand. l mean
by Post. 5r,
Pat.-Post is it, In letter? An ye can't
send it by telegraph?
Clerk.-No. All we can do is, if you have a
message we can send that. That is, we can
charge the wire with electricity and make it write
in New York whatever you wish.
Pat-Make It right, is it! Well now, bedad,
that's the thing entirely. inst make it right with
Mick, an here's the FIVE dollars, avick!
Clerk Slightly vexed) I'VE can do nothing of
the sort! mean We can scrite-print the words
you want to say ID your brother in New York.
Pat Scratching his head with puzzled air).-
If We can do that, jest be after discoorsin' wild
him as soon ye like
Clerk.-But you mnst write the message you
| wish to send, upon this bit of paper.
| Pat.-Och |! bad luck to it! Haven't the gift
| o. wrltin' at all, sure. ri j ss..
l Here th0 clerk arranOoa HE popor ocd r,o
pares to write the message for Pat himself.l
Clerk.-What's your brothers name2
| Pat.-Mick. nos 5aa 2 as1l.
| Clerk.-And what is his other name
Pat.--Same as my own. Sure we're brothers!
Clerk know that. But what is he called?
Pat.--What is he called? O! we'll, in the
ovid country they called him &c Shillalan Mick,''
bekase of the mighty fine taste he had at swing
in that bit Of twig and many's the sconce
he cracked like an ovid taypot. when---
Clerk (exasperated) II don't care what they
called him in Ireland; Give me his other name.
Pat.-Och, botheration, no! Mick Watt is nv
cousin, and lives in the county of Kerry, and
been dead those five years. heaven rest his sowl.
Clerk.-Confound it Can't you tell me your
brothers other name? He has one besides Mi
chael, hasn't he?
Pat-,o yes! shurs why didn,s ye tell me
that's what ye wanted before faith as sures
my name is Pat Finnegan, ye should have been
towld the family name of my ancestors, begorr!
| Clerk.--Ah! Finnegan's the name.
Pat-No, jewel--Mirk Finnegan. Divl an R.
Finnegan is there in the family, savin Rory. He
has listed for soger. va 9 lsss@ &, s''@--l
/ Clerk proceeds to write message to "Mck,"
as dictated by Pat---after which he counts the
words in the dispatch, and says: "Here are
eighteen words: The first ten will cost you forty
cents and the other twenty-four, making sixty
four cents in all" lef ~ a.sf. .lolgse7s 70
Patio bother the first tin words! Shure
Mick I'll never miss Fem. Send the last.
Clerk.---We can't do that. You must pay for
| ty cents at any rate. ~ .-
| Pat.---Sorra bit can do that. Shure We
may tell Mick that the r'ason of his gittin' no
message from me, was owin' to tho occasion of
the money it cost---an' that'n explain the r'ason
of his not hearin' from me at all. Is o4a5ls =.
Exit Pat, anathemising the 's.dirthy wire ma
chine of o tilegraph;" and followed BY not over
friendly ejaculation from the Clerk in attendance.
---Boston Traveller. a.as aaJ ID.
JEU D'EsPRr.-When the late M. M. Noah, who
was Jew, was candidate for the Office of Sheriff
of New York, it was objected to his election that
q Jew would thus come to have the hanging Of
Christians. 6 Pretty Christians,'' replied Noah,
''to need hanging =, srn ..
ANTIQUITIES or CALIFORNIA Elisha Hughes
| gives, in The Scientific Amer lean, the following
account of some mines recently discovered in
California $50 / recently had an opportunity Of
examining some ancient ruins lately discovered
about six miles east Of Santa Crus. They were
nearly buried up in sand hill. found twenty
three chimneys, with their tops peering above
| ground These chimnsys are round, and vary in
diameter from four to twelve inches. They are
made Of sandstone, and were filed up with loose
red sand. The stones of which they are built are
cut circular, and cemented together. stamped
on the hill, and it emmsdately sounded hollow, in
dicating vaulted chambers below. A tunnel is now
being run ID under the hill; at first it was at
tempted to sink deep shaft, but the sand came
in too fast upon the miners. Who built these
structures no one can imagine. They appear to
be thousands Of years old. A large yellow pine
was growing on the top Of the hill. The number
Of years required for the sand to cover up these
hauses and form the hill, before the seed Of this
large tree gsrminsted, could not be less than two
| thousand." sH e1t - esseaJ ~ Y SOB ~
l. A RIVAL OF SauEEas.--A correspondent
Of the Toronto Globe says:
Looking over soma numbers Of the London
Gazette, stumbled upon peculiarly racy and
| appetizing item.
IL was an announcement OF the dissolution OF
partnership of "Thomas Usman and John Hunter,
schoolmasters, Of Epping, 1ssex." =
The latter OF these worthless, although BY pro.
| fession an inculcator Of useful knowledge. was
Actually unsble to write his own name, being con-
strained to exhibit his mark on the deed Of at
| teststion, in lea thereofl ssas ii assl4 afss
Had Charles Dickens introduced such an Incl
dent, as feature in his transcendental Wackford
Squeers, critics would have objected that he had
far exceeded the bounds Of themost remote prob
ability. sag - ssss9a fs a. 20 = $3.50
AWnoRsr ARouxmf.-T 6choharie Repub-
lican has given the most wsighty argument in IA
vor Of its candidate that We have seen.. It says:
"Mr. Buchanan is over six feet high, and
weighs about 225 pounds"
G. =. =. Collins has some splendid horses
! which hs o6ssS fog sale low. Sss adyMtissmsat