Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1856-07-23

New Phase Of the Goose Question -

a most laug gnaDle story Is told by an Eng
lish correspondent of the New York Sunday
Times Of what occurred a short time since on
one Of the railways running out of London.
We thought that We were once witnesses and
participators of a drou adventure on one Of
the New York railways, when q lot Of hungry
and blOodtbirsty Hungarian leeches, getting
loose from jar in which they were confined,
spread themselves promiscuously over the
lower limbs of the passengers, and commenced
ieeding TO the great surprise and cOnsterna-
ton OF all; but the English story is far more
iudicrous, and we intend spinning it out a lit
tie IN our own way.
1t seems that in a four passenger car ON n
London railroad there were two travellers on
the occasion in question. One was a civil.
quiet, modest, well behaved gentleman the
other, who sat opposite him, was a lady. .sfat.
fair and forty" who was also Of modest mien
and conduct. The train had hardly COM
menced moving when the lady jumped M.
and with crimson flush on her counter ance'
exclaimed:
+" How dare you"
Dare what" said the gentleman in as
tonishment
Insult me in that manner" continued the
lady, still swelling with Indignation.
q am not aware that L have insulted you
in any way, form, or manner" retorted the
gentleman, innocence and inquiry depicted in
every lineament of his countenance
"Well, don't touch me again" continued
the lady; "if you do II call the guard"
The gentleman sat marveling, but silent,
wondering what strange conceit had got into
his fellow travellers head, when suddenly she
sprang up second time, and in fresh burst
Of indignation broke out with:
I'll not stand such impertinence and in
suit. I'm q decent married woman, and your
conduct is insuferable ["
"a But, my dear madam, what upon earth
hoc. s,so lol L..
." L mean that will not be iu.ulted You
mistake my character, sir, if you think IN
put up with such impudence. You re an i'm
pertinent, good for nothing puppy, that's what
you are" and with flashing eyes she resumed
her seat.
The gentleman was still wondering at the
strange conduct Of the lady, totally uncon-
sciOus that he had given her the least cau,e Of
offence, when she suddenly started up a third
time with the ej ejaculation-
Keep your hands to yourself! If my hus-
band were here he'd pitch you out of the win
dow. I'll have you arrested the moment the
cars stop Keep your hands of, say!''
." What hands? what do you mean? You
talk like crazy woman, and / believe you
are insane" was the response Of the bewild
cred gentleman.
q Let 20 of my legsn' broke out the lady.
jumping up again, and this time in perfect
frenzy Of passion.
/" don't know anything about your legs
never touched them in my life-never want
to touch them. You're as crazy as Bedlam-
you're a candidate for the first luuatic asylum
on the road-and I'll have you arrested the
moment the cars stop" put in the gentleman
with honest indignation
And I'll have you all arrested for taking
improper liberties with me %" responded the
lady, an equal amount Of virtuous excitement
manifested in her countenance.
In FIVE minutes more tn. train stopped,
there was violent letting down OF windows
in the car occupied By the two enrayed pas
sengers, loud duet Of cries or shouts Of ''con-
ductor :" s'gusrd -! anybody" "eveTy-
body" "this way" followed from the train.
What's the matter 2'' queried the anxious
conductor, as he poked his head into the car
in haste"
:" This woman is as crazy as a loon-mad ss
a march hare-tske her out. - said the gen
tlemBn.
And this man has been ptnetin,g vEegy
all the way from London, the inpudent
scamp" retorted the lady, glaring furiously
In his face.
quite smile came over the face Of the
conductor as he remarked that he thought he
could explain the matter at issue And
reaching his hand under the lady's seat, he
drew out a live goose, which he had placed
there a few moments before the train started
not supposing that the car would be oc.upiei.
The legs Of the aquatic fowl had been tied
all the time, but he had free use Of bis head
and bill, and had been amusing himself by
pecking away at the lower limbs of the lady.
We think that this may well be called new
phase, if not a settler Of the vexed goose
question"