Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1856-10-09
How TO Meet a Dnelist.

) A lew years since, as New Eng
land gentleman, whose name W.
shall call Brown, was passing fey
days at n hotel in one Of our westerl
cities, he had the misfortune to unin
tentionally offend the susceptible
honor Of a tall Indiana Colsnel, wh,
was one of bis fellow boarders, Hi
apologies not being satisfactory, +;
challenge was sent him, which, how
ever, he declined, upon the grount
of conscientious scruples.
The colonel who, by tho way, hat
won in two or three encounters quite
a reputation as a duelist, at once
conceived the idea that his opponent
was coward, and resolved TO dis.
grace him by hogg;ng him in the
face ofall the assembled wisdom ol
the house. Accordingly, the next
day, at dinner time, in marched the
duelist, armed with a formidable
cowhide, and advancing to Browns
chair, proceeded to dust his jacket
for him in most approved style
Brown was astonished. Luckily he
had been lieutenant Of militia in
his native State, and new the impor-
tance of accommodating his enemy
by diversion. So, seizing the gra.
Wy tureen he tossed the contents in.
TO the face of the be!ligerent colonel,
and before that hero could recover
from the drowning sensation thus
occasiOned, he sprang upon the la
BILE and began to shower upon him,
with liberal hand, the contents Of
all the dishes around
You are an INTERNAL
Coward, the colonel was about to
say, bat at that moment plate Of
greens struck full upon his mouth,
and the word was blocked out and
lost forever.
Hal cried the New Englander,
whose blood was now up, fond of
greens, are you? Take a potatoe,
too; and he hurled a telling volley
of hard potatoes at him; excellent
eggs here; capital things with calves
heads;' and crash came a plate Of soft
boiled eggs against the side Of his
cranium.
The blows of!he cowhide which
had hitherto descended upon the
Yankees head and shoulders, now
began to lall more weakly aud wildly,
and it became evident that the as
sailant, hali-stunned, choked and par-
TALLY Blinded, was getting the worst
Of it. His courage wat rapidly ooz-
ing out.
r. Take a turkey!' shouted Brown,
MS a noble old gobbler descended
fairly upon the colonel's head. and
bursting, filled his hair with deli
cious looking stufling: 'and hers S
the Gxings,' he continued as the
squash and jelly followed after.
By this time the colonel was ire,
trievably defeated, and as his merci-
less opponent seized a huge plum
pudding. steamiug hot, and holding
it above his head with both hands,
seemed about to bury him beneath
it, be quailodiu terror, aud throwing
down his cowhide turned about and
made rush fer the door.
Stop for the pudding; stop for
for the pudding shouted Brown,
Pudding, colonel, pudding screamed
all his fellow boarders, amid convul-
sions of laughter. But the colonel
was too terrified to listen to their
kind invitations, and did not cease
running until he had locked himself
upin his room, ,
But, although the colonel had es,
capped from the plum pudding, he
could not escape from the ridicule
which the affair had occasioned. lie
subsequently challenged four per-
sons against whom his ire was par.
ticularly excited, and they all con
sented to fight, but availing them
selves of the privilege of the chaf
lenged party,appoinled pudding bags
for their weapons. At length tht
unhappy duelist finding no one wh'
was willing to shoot Or be shot at
was obliged to leave the State.