Minnesota weekly times., 1856-11-22

eStabilSDeu custom, isuleS are 10 pup
the question:" Crusty old bachelors go about in
terror giving wide berth to every pretty girl they
meet, and blessing heaven for The invention OF
hocps. which prevents the fair creatures seZng
him ri ct a1mis. Sweet little creatures, for whom
coy swains have long sighed in vain, pluck up
&C urage, and by few gentle hints, which are no
longer uulady like, bring the modest youths to the
r roint. Maueuyering mamas, thanking their stars
that leap wear comes once every four years, but
secretly wishing also that it came every year,
look for u fine harvest among the bashfu lovers,
and hurry their daughters into society tina. they
| may take advantage Of the blessed time. Even
panas. rubbing their hands in gee, rejoice in the
privileges OF leap year, as they calculate the cost
| o. their daus hters and the cent per cent, they
could make out of that money if saved. Lucky
| leap year !--Propitious leap year! The inventor
of tho happy custom ought to have a statue rails
e.! to him by the ladies. Or, if the inventor was
Il woman--for we doubt our sex having sagacity
enough for such a splendid coup de w,ain-they
should honor her by u leap year festival, rs the
! ancicnts hOnored Ceres.
We have always thought it cruel to our sex,
tina, they had to take the initiative in that terrible
| process 'popping the question: 1t is said that
| Eeary the Fourth, when he carried Cahors by as
| sault. was in such trcmor of fright, it bens his
first conflict, that he fairly dropped his battle axe
ut the gate Of the town. But with all his physca!
| fear, he had brave soul, so picking up the
weapon, he turned to his troops, and crying
'Cahors,' struck manfully at the solid doors. At
every stroke his knees trembed, hut still he cried
Cahors, to stimulate his nen, and still raned his
blows on the ron-ribbed cak. Many poor fcl-
! low. in popping the question, has had as hard a
struggle le to keep UP his courage. What shaking
knees, what chatterins ieeth what auttering hearts,
what choking in the throat, what 4 peculiar 'all-
overishness' scizes on the bravest, s'hen he at
tempts in cold blood to pop the question to some
angelic mlss who IS perhaps, secretly, as frightcn
ed as himself. 1t is only By crying TO ones self
'Now or never, go it, old boy just as the great
hero cried 'Cahors,' shat one can muster pluck to
| make the assault IL all. Blessed therefore, be-
yond all other mundane blessings are pic MICS,
moonlight rambles, and especially cosy sleigh
rides, for somehow, On such occasions the ques-
ton often pops itself. Yes, out it comes, like a
champagne cork taat capnot stand it any ion ger.
lie is lucky dog who gets into this high pressure
condition. Ham, or beef, or even pudding may
be taken cold, but popping the question never.
| We would rs lief lnmp into the Delaware when
ice was forming, us pop the question in set form
and by deliberate purpose. The whole thing is
monstrous. - The women, who have twice, the
tact OF our sex, ought to do this business for
They'll do it, we hope this year. If We were a
bachelor it would make our very mouth water to
think of sitting up in state and having lots of
! pretty girls popping the question to US. All the
! good time is cOming.'
| Don't be prudish. ladies, we beseech you, any
longer. Matrimony is the best condition for US
| brutes of men well as your charming selves,
and you will really be doing service by seizipg
ali stray bachelors of this leap year, and inn
pounding them in matrimony. Some old rogue
once said that marriage was like those wire rat
traps, where hollow cone, the big end out, in
! vites the victim TO enter, by the smell and sight
| Of toasted cheese within but where, when he
attempts to eave the sharp wires OF the little end
of the cone hint pointedly at the impossibiity.
The story is wicked libel on matrimony, ladies',
which is not rat trap any more than you are
toasted cheese. The man who don't know that
matrmony is good for him is so far forth dement,
ed, and the sooner he is put into the husbands
| straight jacket the better for him. You have a
prescriptlve right to civize our rougher natures.
Franklin aptly said that the sexes were halves of
pair of scissors, and neither was good for much
without the other. Children dent know what is
good for them. neither do we men always. SO as
leap year is here, make an onslaught, one and
all, on the bachelors, and let it be as fierce as
farn-wfe makes on her poultry at Christmas
It's the destiny of turkeys to be eaten and of men
to marry the girls. Forward, march. - Phila.
Ledqsf.