Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1856-08-23


Dr. Holmes, the quainlest and most mirth
provoking Of American poets, referring to the
alarming effect produced by one Of his poems
upon an unsophislicaied reader, in bursting his
buttons of, closes the pathetic narrative by say
ing
'since then I've never dared to write,
As funny as can.
We give our delightful humorist great cred
/, for his forbearance, but what shall we say Of
a Statesman, white neckclothed, grave, deco
ruus and stately, who at tho advanced age OF
sixty.6ve, enters the lists against DR.. Holmes,
and attempts to do that which the latter has
avowedly RETAINED from, in the benevolent Ell
ori 10 preserve the victims Of unconscionable
tailols from extraordinary charges in the way
OF buttons. The Sage of Wheaiand has sue
ceeded in accomplishing in prose, what our
Boston Doctor was reluctant to do over again
in rhyme.
The Hards and Sots VI New York have
rraciously notified Mr.. Buchanan that they have
succeeded in eilecting iraternal union, and
Mr.. Buchanan responds in return, over the tel
eeraph--lhe Bowery boys would be much more
likely to call il tower the len"-but, in fact,
Mr.. Buchanan has responded over the telegraph
that this coalition between the lIards and Sohs
is "onc Of The grandcsf crcnts in haoryP'
We once thought that Prince Garganiua, who
rlked cannon alls out of his hair with comb
nine hundred feet long, the teeth whereof were
great elephants iusks, and afterwards ate up
six pilgrims in salad, which was brought him
in a plate seven times larger in circumference
than the great tun of Heidelberg, was an ex-
tiaordinary young man, but while he excelled
in practical things, the Sage Of Wheailand is
tar superior to him in magniloquence.
He characterzes reunion Of petty politi-
clans as 'one Of the grandest events in history,
deserving to be cassed, doubtless, with Mara
,hon and Thermoyl@, with the passage of the
nuhicon, the discovery of America, and the
= claration of Independence. When Mr.. Blu
chanan boldly Invested himself Of his ndvidu-
atty, and announced himself as the Cincinnati
platform, men regarded this daring ayowal Of
having become lransubsiantiaied by the act Of a
political convention, as something wonderful ;
but for force Of Imagination il falls far short Of
that magnificent hyperboe which declares the
paichius up of quarrel between two Demo
cratic factions, as 'ono of the grandesi events
in history 1t is extraordinary how grossly
men have been deceived in their previous esii.
mates Of grandeur and meanness IIenceforlh,
however, by searching for definitions in the pc.
ltical dictionary Of the Sage OF Wheatand
they may learn, il they will, to define things
very differently. In this new photography
parts Of which have already been given to the
world orally, they will find that the grand
event of Washington resigning his commits
sion, has lis parallel in recent times, in the
agreement of opposing sections of the New
York Democracy to divide equitably the anlici
paied spoils Of Office. That this also is one
of The grandest events in history and that tn,
leaders of these factions, while aiming at per
sonal aggrandizemeni, have unconsciously per
formed an act of so heroic nature as to i'm
mortalize their names. Baltimore Patriot.