The Abbeville banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1847-1869, 1856-10-16
THE ERASIVESOAp MAN,


semblings-vending there small wares, a
la tho Razor-Strop man-are sometimes
very amusing. We noticed one of 'cm last
week, crying his erasive soap to as simple
| Il crowd as we have observed in some time.
lie was sharp-cycd fellow, with u sancti-
fled look, black whiskers and still backcr
and enormous straw hat.
Gentlemen" he said, or rather sang
gentlemen, l offer you a splendid article,
superb article. an incompatible article
magical, radical, tragical article" (lIere
he displayed cake Of soap) "MagicaI,
radical, tragical crasivo Soap! Yes, in its
effects upon its inventor most tragical!-
Shall l tell you how? 1t was invented by
celebrated French Chemist, after twenty
years of toll, labor and privation. In just
fifteen minutes, two seconds and half, af-
ter the discovery, he fell into the arms of
death, and his name became immortal
You can draw your own conclusions, gen.
tlcmen p
Magical, radical tragical, era-sivc Soap!
Dime cake! Hand me the money -
served mo rght!-thcr's tho soap! Yes,
that man has got cake of the incompara-
Die, inappreciable, magical, radical, trasical
c-ra-sivc soap.
Gentlemen, you'd open your eyes, if l
were to tell you half tho wonders performed
by this in-com-pa rable article. 1t cleans
| oil spots, removes stains, hides dirt, bright
ems good colors and oblitcratcs ugly ones |!
such is the virtue Of the all-healing, nev-
cr-fading. spot-rcmovng, bcauty-restoring,
health-giving, magical, radical, tragical,
era-siro soap!" The vendcr wiped his
brow, hcaved sigh, and recommended,
standing at ease against the piazza post.
"Why, gentlemen, when l first became
acquainted with this incxtoeraLle GIFT of
divine Providence to crring man, had an
obstruction of the vocal organs, impcdi.
ments Of speech, that bid fair to destroy
the hopes Of tho fond parents who intended
me Tor the pulpit. was tongue tied-but
l came across this precious compound and
swallowed just half an ounce, and ever since
to tho satisfaction Of my parents, myself,
and assembled world, have been yauably,
rapidly, successfully, Unfortunately, uninter-
mittingly and most olo1uentIy sounding
the praises Of the Incompatible, infalliLle,
inimtaLle, inapprcciablc, ucver-failing, all
healing, spot-removing, beauty restoring,
magical, radical, tragical, c-ra-siyo soap!
"Ah, gentlemen, world without it
would be naught! 1t takes tho stains from
your brceches, tho spots from your coat,
removes the dirt, restores tho gloss, and
dill'uses general cLcerfulness over the
character Of the whole outer man! True,
gentlemen, I've worn the forelingcr Of my
right hand to the first joint, in illustrating
tho efficacy of this ineffable compound but
hold that the fore-finger Of one man, yea,
Or the forc-fngers Of the men are as nothing
when compared with the peace and welfare
of society and the world.
ooh F.! magical soap! oh radical soap
oh tragical soapl What wonders thou
dost perform! The frightened locomotive
leaves its track as it were, on the approach i!
Tho telegraphic wires trcmble and are dumb
i'll thy presence!
"Why, gentlemen, it clears the complex
ion of niger, and makes curly y-headod
mans hair straight! 1t removes the stains
from your brooches and the spot from your
coats, in like manner, it purifcs the con-
science and brightens the character! If
you arc a little dishonest, try it! If your
reputation or clothing is little smuttcd,
I'll warrant it! For ladies whose slips-I
mean these little, brown, yellow, white, blue
and many-colored sliWers-have become
soiled, it is the only cure, panacea, medi-
camcntum, wade mocum, iu all globuar
creation. Then come up, tumble up, run
up, and jump up, like Hungry patriots and
buy my Incompatible, infalIiblc, ineffable,
iuapprecable, coat-prescrving, 5eauty-ro-
storing, dirt-removing, speech-improving,
charactcr-polshing, virtue importing, all
healing, never-failing, magical, radical, trsg-
ical, compound, E-R-A.SIVE soapm
Here Hard-cheeks' oratory was inter-
rupted by a shower of dimes from boys,
men and hobbledeboy, and tho "show" was
considered "closed."
As-.~.--
| An On One.-Mr. Salomon I. Felker in
cutting stick of white oak timber, the
other day, opened upon a tree toad, that
had come to us from former generations,
as Webster said to his fish. Over him had
grown sixty-seven grains or rings of the oak,