Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1856-10-01
Yun1eroltss ..8Rl 8Relalloiilly,

MRS. DECE.-tn lilo uudSe VI aAh5Stoh,
N. j., a tavern was once kept by a man
named Byce, Mrs. Byce was Tartar
more ard worse, she was two 'Tartars done
up in one. She had been nursed in infancy
by wild cat, and fed on vinegar when she
took to the spoon, and growing up with such
q disposition as such sweet fare might be
expected to produce Poor Byce! the plague
of bis life was his vinegar fed and vinegar
faced wife. His only refuge fiom her tongue
was bis bar and his bottle;. he became
his own best customer, and managed to
draw himself in his own liquor. His dis
consolate widow soon had the pleasure OF
putting the sot under the clod, and OF car
rying on the business at the old stand.
The schoolmaster of the village was an
Irishman, who whaled the boys in the day
time but made love to the widow, and the
widows liquor in the evening. She replied
his advances towards herself, but made ad.
vances toward him with the liquor, for his
money was as good as anybody's The
colder she grew to McShiney the deeper he
drank and in the course of the winter he
often lost control Of bis tongue, and his wit
flowed out as the whiskey ran in. One
evening he was gloriously high, and she was
sourer than ever, which is saying something
very dreadful of: Mrs. Boyce, when he turn
ed upon her with one of his most persuasive
Irish smils and said:
"Ahd ali Mrs. Byce, had such dream
about you and that's myself-last night,
an, Tdid:'' ID
"Well, what was it, eh!" she snapped
out in way of her own, as if she would
bite him if she was hungry.
"And dreamed-I did-that | died en-.
tirely and went to the bad place."
"Of course you did; where else would
you gos" ,...,.i :. !. doo, .nd thew
said right out, "Who's there?" and an
swered SO bold like, It's Mister McShiney
from Kingston, in the Jerseys" You can't
come in. "And why not9" saysI. We've
got one from there, and that's more than we
can stand. She makes it two hot for all OF
u.s." "Wno is it 2" says |, and he said, IT'S
Mrs. Bycc, the old tarern keepers acidou,
and walked up straight"
Mrs. Byce never spoke. Her feelings
were two big for utterance. With one hand
she took the red hair of the lrishman and
dragged him to the floor, and opened the
door with the other, she sent him forth with
such an energy of motion as forbade his re-
turn to that paradise again.
LAYING EGGs.-A little incident occurred
in family grocery day or two since
which, could the reader have seen for him
self, would have kept him in laughter for
week. A lean countryman entered the gro
cery, having in his hand small basket o
eggs which he desired to exchange for sun
dry housekeeping necessaries.
"Want any eggs to-day, Misters
eyes, will take 'em; how many have ye'
gOts"
"Ten cents Dozen"
"What!. ohlyte cents a dozen?"
aYes. that all we get ourselves"
"Well, thes. all I've got to say is, it's
shame"
q @WhaPs shane!"
"Why, look a.here, Mister" and here TIT
countfynlan patted the eggs affectionately
and viewed them as though they were thu
,yeritable product of the giants golden hen
I" Why, look a-here. If you was hen
wouldn't you think it was mighty hard time
if you had to lay eggs for ten cents dozen! {
The expression of countenanee, the sin
cerity, the indignation, the evident opinion
of the egg.raiser that the country woult
soon 90 to ruin at that rate, were inimitable
and the merchant, appreciating it Justly
"shelled out" eleven cents per dozen for tn
produce of the countryman's cacklers.
IDoS'r DANcE--A plain, unlettered mat
came from the back country in the State
Alabama To Tuscaloosa and ON the Sab