Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, Va. [W. Va.]) 1852-1859, 1856-08-29
ONE WHO DIED WITHOUT LIV.

NJ Paul LegTand died Mt Di}on, Bnrgundy,
recently at the age ofseyenty, leaving the follow
ing mGnloir, whereby he proves ne has not hy-
ed:
An that is suffering. sorrow, enuui, despair,
desire, regret, shouldbe deducted from life, be-
cause we should ourselves have deducted 1t had
heaven permitted When three years old was
vcaned: at six could speak but badlyi at sew
en- split my skull; at nine was cured l
must, therefore, extract nine years from my ex-
istence; for surely TO drink nurse sour mil
not TO speak, or badly, and to split ones skull,
is not living. At the age of nine began my
studies Owing to my cracked skull my head
was hard one, md proved stubborn to tut.
tion i reonired ttso years labor TO spell the
alphabet was indebted to letter . alone Tor
about four score hundred lashes; the other TWEEN
ty-three letters made complete martyr OF me.
At the age of twelve / could read, but my body
was mangsed with alphabet scars An attempt
Was made to teach me Latin, and Host my French
in the experiment at fifteen knew nothing at
all, and forced diet of bread and water had re-
tiuced me to the condition of a skeleton Six
years more had therefore TO be deducted. At
sixteen nv father made me notarys cierS--
There commenced new species ct may tyTuom.
got up atsix, swept the Office, lighted the stove,
was irubbed by the taller clerks, and my father,
overwhelmed with complaints about me, depri-
we'd me of my dinner. This life led for tive
wears and from life will positively deduct them.
At twenty, nv father, quite disguised With
his son, nut me on board ship at CheTbough.s l
washed the decks, climbed up the top-mnst men
ded the sails, and received thirty lashes day up
on my back. This was endured for four years
At tyyenty-four nv father n4de me babsrda5her.
I married 3Iadcrneiselle Ursuel DeVougins, a
turner's daughter; her portion consisted OF thir-
ty thousandH yres, mortgaged upon sugar estate
at St Domingo. The day after the wedding
found that my wife had wooden leg, made by
nv father.in-iaw, the turning. The poor woman
made a thousand apologies for her lntir1nlty, and
part9oned her out of regard TO her marriage
portion. The ST. Domingo blacks rose against
the whites, burned the marriage portion anu the
wooden leg was all that was left to me.
At ttirtyI lost my wife in consequence OF
scrofulous disease. spent six years ofnlarriage
repenting every minute. therefore deduct
these six years from my life Having, as every
BODY else, slept third part of my life, deduct
twentv-four years of sleep, and am below the
right reckoning, for was great sleeper. a year
lost adding minute to minute in searching for the
KEYS of my desk, which was constantly nlslay-
ing. Does one live when one looks for key:-
Three years lostin having myself shaved, powder
ed &C; Ave years in suffering with toothache, two
iniiamlnatiOns of the chest with reapses and con-
yalscence Three years lost in saying w hats
o'clock2'' i've have bad weather to-day" 'how
do you dor" show isyour lady?" II have bad
cold, !" marlborough Sen va.t.en gueTre-what
mud in the street-what winter this year,
Six months lost in having the mud brushed off
one, and six in brushing ones hat. One year
of endurance of the entire acts Of the theater.--
One year lost in listening to the modern dramas,
theSchef dauvTe genius not understood. One
year lost in complaining Of salt tasteless soups,
of outlets too uuch or too undone, of indiges-
ton or hard eggs. Total, II years. beg leave
to declare that in giving up the ghost do not
give up anything worth keeping.