The south-western. [volume] (Shreveport, La.) 1852-1870, 1856-09-24

" no strike where honor leads them,
Who love the taintless air we breathe,
('Tis freedoms endless dower,)
Wen twine for him an endless wreath
Who scorns tyrant's power.
They tell me of Frances beauties fair,
Of Italy's proud daughters;
Of Scotland's lasses England fair
And nymphs of Shannon's waters,
We need not boast their naughty charms,
Though lords around them hover,
Our glory lies in freedoms arms
freeman for lover!
Old Judge Cole, of Texas, was characterized
by his attachment 10 that seductive beverag,
called peach and honey, and by his hatred o
whskey and whiskey drinkers. While hold
ing court at Austin, two men were brough
up on charge of q drunken affray. It was
plain case; the row had occurred in the public
street, in open day, and there were fifty wit
nesses to the Whole transaction. So the two
dellnquents pleaded guilty, by the advice o.
their counsel, and threw themselves on the
mercy Of the court. They were then brought
UP for sentence separately.
You are guilty of an ahray," growled the
judge. .
"Yes, your honor" whined the offender,
thoroughly frightened.
Drunk, suppose" grunted the Judge.
Yes, your honor murmured the prisoner,
with some faint hope that having been drunk
would mitigate the punishment.
Drunk on rye whiskey, too, I'll warrant
roared the judge in a voice of thunder.
Eyes, your honor, drunk on rye whiskey''
Mr.. clerk, record fine of fifty dollars
against this man. cried the Judge, "send him
to Jail for sixty days. shall fine the next one
who is guilty under such aggravating circum-
stances hundred dollars, and send him to iai
for six months"
This was poor comfort for the unfortunate
fellow who was waiting his turn, and now came
forward with fear and trembling AS he pass
ed along by his lawyer, that thoughtful gentle
man whispered in his ear: ''When the Judge
asks you what you got drunk on, tell him on
peach and honey" lie took his stand.
You, too are up here for an ARRAY, growl-
ed the old judge, crashing his teeth, as if be
would like to bite the culprt at the bar.
Eyes, your honor"
Drunk, too, suppose
Eyes, your honor; sorry to say it-drunk-
very drunk
Drunk on rye whiskey. too, suppose"
. "Oh no, your honor; l never drink whis-
key | got drunk on peach and honey
The judges features relaxed in an instant. |
Leaning forward and raising his spectacles, he
contemplated the offender with interest and
then with something like tenderness.
"Ah! SIR said the judge, blandly, "peaeh
and honey, eh! that's gentlemanly drink sir.
The court sympathies with you, sir, and does
not regard your offence as very serious Mr.
clerk" he continued, in softening tone, zen
ter fine Of one dollar against this gentleman,
and discharge him."
contemporary tells a good joke about YER
dant limb of the law, who resided upon Nanti-
coke creek and in times of the absence of the
pastor OF the ''disrlct meeting" acted as clerk.
he had strange way Of manufacturing words
when at a loss for the right one. Well, upon
certain occasion, when he deemed his service
IN request, he undertook to 'tgive out hymn
IN which the word "doxology'' occurred as
he could not get hold of the word, he request
ed the congregation to sing 'tfour verses and
sockdologer!" @M0r =s.4
An EngIlshman has just perfected process !
OF condensng eggs SO that the nourishing ele- : :
ments of dozen of the hen fruits can be held !
IN the bowl of an ordinary spoon. This will F
save those hurried business men, who think the "a
time devoted to breakfast as absolutely wasted, p
q great deal Of trouble. They can carry pa |
per Of egg powder in their pockets, and when i
ever hungry, take pinch or two containing fl
the strength of a good omelette, and immedi, d
ately fly around TO work again. This will help II
them to enjoy life and grow rich very fast. The ?
next thing to be invented for their benefit will .
be condensed cold chicken, condensed lamb, b
peas, de-; SO that they can carry their dinners e
in their pockets, and never leave business once 81
all day.
No man is gentleman, who without provo al
cation, wonld treat with ncivility the humblest CT
OF his species. Il is vugarity for which no
Of dress can ever atone Show
me the man who desires to make every one
happy around him, and whose greatest solicit
Lude lsnever to glveJust cause of offence to any
one, and will show you gentleman by ma
ture and practice, although he may never have
worn suit of broad cloth or ever have heard q
IF lexicon. Il
by too much setting STILL the body becomes r
and soon the mind. This is natures o
aw. She will never see her children wronged. ~
If the mind, which rules the body, ever for sa
gets itself SO far as to trample on its slave, it CT
S never generous enough to forgive the injury, 81
,nt will rise and smite its oppressor Thus s.
las many monarch mind been depressed. y
An Arkansas hero was lately convicted Of sa
he crime of horse stealing and when sentence sp
lad been passed upon him, he took a survey of sa
he court room, and gave vent to his feelings in ID
he following manner p,
"Well, this is the briskest place ever did "
ee. Travelled fifteen miles this morning Oh
TODD an election, and unanimously voted by
welse men to be maintained at the public ex- Il
'ense ten years"
To ascertain the length of the day and night, ne
ny time of the year, double the time of the Pc Pc
uns rising, which gives the length Of the night, tn
nd double the time Of setting. which gives the
ength Of the day. This is little method Of
doing the thing" which few of our readers 4
ave been aware of. l.
Sir, said asmall sized man to one of huge f to-
dimensions, t'are you married Or single?' on or
Don't look Ike single mang'' was the b,
Tiers reply, proudly showing his bulk.
"Ne-yoa look as if there was enough of
on to make two single men, 7
This singular doubling caused a faint smile, =
nd il passed for joke, considering that the ~ r,