Southern sentinel. [volume] (Plaquemine, Parish of Iberville [La.]) 1848-1858, 1856-04-26
NUMBER 50.
wife in Extacy--Husband An FIdgCss.

j ne Geeu Is accomplished. MY vile has got
piano, land now farewell the tranquil mind
farewell content and the evening papers and
the big cigars, that makes ambition vrtue--oh
farewell! And oh, ye mortal engines, whose
rude threats the immortal Joyes dead clamora
counterfeit" stop, can't bid them fares
well, for one of them has Just arrived. 1t came
on dray. Six men carried it into the parIor
and ii grunted awfully. II weighs ton, shines
like a mirror, and has carved Cupids climbing
up its limbs: Aud such Iungs--Whew! My
wife has commenced to practice; and the first
time she touched the machine thought w0
were in the midst of 3 thunder storm, and the
lightning had struck the crOckery chest. The
cat, with tail erect, took bee line for partic~
ular friend on the back fence, demolishing a
six-shiliing pane of glass. The baby awoke
and the little fellow tried his best to beat the
instrument, but he didn't do tit beat him.
Ateacher has been introduced into the house.
He says be is The last of Napoleons grand ar
my. He wears huge moustache, looks at me
feFcely, smells Of garlic, and goes by the name
of Count Runaway and neyer.c come. back-agan
by, He played an extract de opera the other
night. He ran his fingers through his hair
twice, then grinned, then he cooked his eyes up
at the ceiling, like N onkey hunting flies, then
down came one Of his fingers, and heard y
delightful sound, similar to that produced by q
cockroach dancing upon the tenor string of&
fiddle Down came another finger, and was
reminded ofthe wind wbistling through knot
hole ia the hen coop. He touched his thumb
and | thought was in an orchard listening to
the distant braying of jaekass Now he ran
his fingers along the keys, and thought Of 4
boy rafting stick upon picket fence. All
of sudden he stopped, and Isthought soms~
/ A. LA r,I hrAR.
fists, and OH, Lord! such noise wac never heard
before.
thought hurricane had struck the house
and the walls were caving in. imagined
was u the cellar, and ton of coal was falling
upon my head. thought the machine had
burst, when the iufernal noise stopped, and
heard my wife calculate:
"Exquisite!"
"What the duce is the matteFa"
The answer was
"Why, dear, that's La Somnambula!"
"D--n Somnambula!" thought I; and the
Count rolled up his sheet of paper. He calls
it music; but for the life OF me, can't make
it look like anything else than.a rail fence with
lot of juvenile niggers climbing over it. Bss
fore the instrument of torture came into the
house, could enjoy myself, but now every
learned woman in the neighborhood must bs
invited to hear the new piano. and every time
| the blasted thing shrieked out, like locomotive
with the bronchitis, have to praise its tone,
and when the invited guests are playing have
to say, "Exquisite!" "Delightful" "Heavenlyr'
and all such trash, while at the same time
know just as much about music as blind cod"
| fish. There are more tuning hammers than
comforts in our house, and-and wish thein.
ventof of the piano was troubled with per.
petual nightmare, and obliged to sleep in one
ofhis instruments all his life.
AS for myself, | had rather put my head urr
der tin pan and be drummed to sleep with
| pair Of shooting irons than hear "La Somnam
| bula," or any other La thumped out Of piano
Scatter pennies in front of my house, and draw
| together all the wandering minstrels in the city
| hand organs, hanios fddes, tamborines, RAT
| ting bones, and fish horns. Let juvenile nou-
| keys crawl in at my windows in search OF
three cent peices--let me be awakened at mid
night by the cry Of "nurder!'-ring the fire
! bells and have devil of time gensrally-do
all this. and Twill not complain, but Danish the
| pianos! Mine has got to 90. am going to
| launch the internal machine out of the window
the first dark night, and, my friends, advise
you to sleep with cotton in your ears,or when
she gives her dying grunt you'll think you've
! fallen out of bed or fallen star has gone to
roost upon your housetop. For the Informs
| tlon of "Young America" will state that all
| the peices of brass wire and ivory keys they
are welcome to, but the skeleton want for q
refrigerator.