The weekly Columbian. [volume] (Columbia, Tuolumne Co., Cal.) 1856-1???, 1856-07-12
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Ng-Fast men, like fast rivers, are generally
the shallowest.
gg-Snooks says the prettiest sewing ma
chine he ever saw was about seventeen years
old, with short sleeves, low neck dress, and
gaiter boots.
w-Why are fowls the most economical
things farmers keep? Because, for every grain
of corn, they give peck!
Ig-A hotel keeper in Boston, boards lovers
for two dollars a week less than he charges
other folks There is philosophy in this. Love
is very ETHEREAL in its nature and can live on
moon-beams.
Rg-.sThe most solemn of BIRDS says an an
Gent proverb, sis an owl; the most solemn of
fishes an oyster, the most solemn of beasts an
ass; the most solemn of men, an ass also"
l3-What is the difference between a butcher
and gay young lady? The former kills to
dress, and the latter dresses to kill.
Ig-Men are like bugles-the more brass they
contain the farther you can hear them. Wo-
men are like tulips-the more modest and re-
tired they appear, the better you love them.
TEA French paper says that it has been ac-
cidentally discovered that cases of epidemic
fits black silk handkerchief thrown over the
afflicted person will restore them Immediately.
GE-A doctor and lawyer getting into dis
pute about precedence, referred the matter to
Diogenes, who decided in favor Of the lawyer
in the following words,-''Let the thief so be-
fore and the executioner follow"
D-What is the difference between an auc-
toner and sea sickness?
One is the sale of effects, the other the effects
of sail.
And why do physicians have greater horror
of the sea than anybody else?
Because they are more likely to sea sickness
Mg-..Why did Joseph's brethren cast him into
the pit ?" asked Sabbath-school teacher Of his
class.
Because" replied one young lady, "they
thought it a good opening for the young man."
nG-The bachelors of Cleveland are an I'M
gallant set of fellows AT their annual supper
a few nights ago, the following was the seventh
regular toast: "Our future wives-Distance
lends enchantment to the view"
nG-..I am going to draw this beau into
knot" as the lady said when standing at the
hymenial altar.
"Bob. by sitting on that side Of the cars,
you are missing all the sights on this side"
"Never mind, Tom, am lighting all the mis-
ses on t'other side"
va Dicks wife opened a box one morning
and found a dead mouse IN 1t, also Honlt0n
lace collar half eaten up.
ssWhat an illmannered little beast" said she.
..Not at all!'' answered Dick, cts ultra
fashionable in its manners-laced to death J"
Va. Timtoe attended party one evening
4 L. IL Al
next day his opinion OF the re-u1iaon OF the night
before he said, ut was savage literary feast,
kind of Indian Meal, affair: you know!"
ns-Tying mackerel to your coat-tail, and
imagining yourself a whale, is one OF the first
lessons in Goldfish aristocracy.
-"Mind, John" said father to his son,
eff YOU 20 out into the yard you will wish you
had STAYED in the house." '.Well, if | stay in
the house | shall wish was out in the yard;
SO where is the difference, dad"
AN ARTIsT.-At the Broadway Theatre. the
other evening, one gentleman pointed OUT
Aandifed individual to his friends as sculptor.
what said his friend, "such looking chap
as that sculptor. Surely, you must be mlsta-
ken" "He may not be the kind OF one you
mean7 said the informant, "but | know that
he ehaslsd tailor out OF suit of clothes last
week"
Na-A WAC proposes to publish new paper,
to be called the Gomez, with original tale every
week.
Na-A person listening to a dull address re-
marked that everything went well, especially
the audience.
Wa. First class in Natural Philosophy stand
up. "What's attraction"
"Please, Sir, l know-the look that a blue
eyed gal gives her lover"
Fright. Now tell me what intertia is
sInertia, Sir, is a desire to remain where You
area feeling a piece of calico experiences
when leaning against canary colored vest"
WooL-The California American states that
spectators are engaged throughout the State
in purchasing wool, which is to be shipped to
New York