The Trinity journal., 1856-11-29
TCOMMUNICATED.]
0llapodrida.

OlldpUul lud'
Old wilkins the Mormon was in town the 9th
er day. wilkins. Notwithstanding he mn tcs
with the brotherhood Of the Latter Day Saints.
affects a social glass " Come, brother wilkins,
said |. as we sat in a cOzy room while the punch
was mounting our brains and thawing away all
frigidity of intercourse. " come. old boy, tell me
the morale, the philosophy Of your much practis-
ed polygamy." At one draught this disciple OF
Joe Smith emptied his tumber and assuming an
argumcntatve position, began.
The affinity of the human sexes asserted our
morast. " is as aximat'c as the existence of the
world Nor is this cohesive attraction confined
alone to our exalted race it is equally discern
ible with the lower orders of animal creation.-
In fact. the science of modern botany has estab
lishcd that trees and the entire floral kingdom are
divided into sexes and that reproduction ensures
only by union. A withcrcd old tree upon Il bar
rem plain is fit emblem Of your parched and des-
olate bachelor. ] know of nothing so miserable
in appearance that can parallel on old maid
Now continued my Salt Lake friend, " the hu-
man male oittimes becomes of choice veteran
stag OF option many masculincs avoid the state
matrimonial. Not so with the other sex. From
earliest girlhood they dream Of naught else save
dark haired husbands and nuptial joys. As APP
preaching old age suices away Il use mining
term. Sid Wilkins.) hope after hope. their forms
become attcruated, their features angular their
voices sharp aud shrill and their countenances
ascetic. The betake themselves to scandal and
strong BOhca.' An old ma d, in truth, becomes
Il morose and vicious cat and eventually dries up
from the heat of her vile and indispensable tenn
per. While she lives she is the genius of quarrel,
mischief aud d,scord. Fhe is walking and
nervous disgrace to the human family. Th' ho-
~ mission of Mormonism is to check and If pos
sible root ont old maidhood from the land. Now
statistics show that female prcponderaes over the
male. They clearly prove that while thousands
Of men have resolved on celclacy, each female
would traverse the world, scale mountains and
breast roaring floods to secure masculine mate
We notify all such to HE them to Salt Lake.
wilkins, !, myself (and the old mans countc-
nance assumed lecherOus cast,) have had but
eighteen wives and but forty-thrce children. /
AIN still vigorous and, in mercy to the sex, am
yet willing to uuptalze few more of the dear
creatures. Go, now, my dear boy, let us have
some more punch"
speaking of poygamy reminds me of natri-
mony. In stupid r6mancts we read that hearts
were made for each other A trembling youth
hy Providential design is brought in the presence
OF boGut' GUS creature whose eyes are dark as
the roe, whose tresses vie with the ravens wing,
whose cheek is vcrmillion aud whose lips have the
4 hue Of coral whose thirty-two teeth ere regular
/ and p'arly, and whose developed prOport ons are
as volultuous as those of Venus Anphroditc -
An embarrassed glance cOnvinces amorous sWain5
aud youthful maidens that good God has united
Iah its all nonsense. Nou are couple OF fools.
and if you mrrry al your age YOU will quarrel as
soon as the first gush Of passion is over, and III
less than two months you viii apply to Judge
Williams for divorce. But speaking Of matr,-
mony, | WOt of a most excellent pccnniary adven-
ture better than mines Of Goconda or treasures
of lnd This section Of our sphere is rcplcte with
staghood. The very air is pregnant with sighs
and moans that leap from the hearts of stout men
who laugush for domestic mates and welded bliss.
A maiden venturing hithcrward scarcely alights
from the tough Lack Of mule ere scores of ram
pant masculnes brs,cch her to dof' maidenhood
and assume the duties Of mountain wife
Thea let some aged and virtnous man wend to
country prolific ia widows and damscls and cs-
cort hthor many hundreds. Let him estimate
maidcns Of youth and beauty at cXtravagant val
nc, widows at smaller rate, and antique maids at
blank. Let him now rattle the entire feminine lot
to honest miner, insoycnt laWyeran gold-squeez-
ing merchant and that aged and yirtuous man
will become Il Rothschild or CrUsus. Those who
crave wives in this latitude are not as that fool
ish youth aforc mentioned, who thinks Deity
makes marriages BE it female, garbed in pet
ticoat, it is all they require here.
Speaking of matrimony, am | not reminded of
the AborgnCs Of our land A woman, gull of
iattery from earliest childhood is often apt to
fancy that man, and her poor husband especially
is her born hrall--hcr slave in fact. How she
iaunts il upon our thoroughfares bcdzcncd in
silks an slini purchased by the bloody sweat
of stupid and cmasculated husband. Have SER
wants she will. Not for the world must her white
and slender fingers he soiled by house hold druid
gerry and the toothless gums of offspring are torn
from mothers sweet dairy to he entrusted to the
slovenly care of a mcTccnary nurse. ! rather rec
ommend hagellation for such wives Perhaps, O
woman, You are not physically adapted to fight
battles, or navigate the ocean, or dclye in the
bowels Of the earth in quest Of golden harvest
Perhaps your attire dsqualifcs YOU from climb
ing tree in search Of natural bee-hivcs or the
choppng of wood. yet in household cares should
you bcstr yourselves to your might God has
made you strong enough to engage equally with
your husband in the great battle of life. NouI
sphere is different it is true, but it hohoovcs YOU
to consecrate and immortaiize that sphere with
labor earnest and continuous. We tell stupid
down-crestcd and hen-pecked husbands to awake
to the sense and dignity of their manhood. The
red man Of the prairie and wilderness forces his
dame to divide his tolls. Sometimes he thrust;
upon her more than moiety. Perhaps he is
right, and hence does marimony remind me o
the Aborgnes of cur land