Washington telegraph., 1856-11-12
This was the finale.

Here the minister read number of gra-
tbs advertisements for concerts and twenty
five cent picnics; then there was another
single handed combat between the organ
ist and his old enemy, and some more greas-
ed-pig vOcalization by the thousand dollar
choir, after which the ''star" preacher be-
gan to perform in earnest; he read text
and stuck to the subject for fifteen min
utes, giving his hearers '.fts" about their
shortcomings when the plate is passed
then he gave glowing description of the
joys of Paladise, and by his eloquent words
had got us SO far into the spirit land that
we could almost hear the departed spirits
blow their noses, when suddenly he cut
short his high-fown piety. and began to
talk politics and gener news. He spoke
of the state of the stock markets, gave no
tice Of the new patent ballot-box, review
OF the encouraging prospects of Fremont,
the value OF Sharps rifles, and the retail
price of Scheidam schapps.
That he gave with great gusto delight
full account of some imaginary pleasant
transactions in Kansas, wherein a couple
of men were roasted alive In a burning log
cabin, while their wives were compelled
by the amiable border ruffians to superin-
tend the cookery. Then he made some
very good jokes, at which the people laugh
ed; then he said something about the .Un-
lon, which they applauded. l should
have supposed myself in a ratification mee-
ting if the men hadn't all their hats off,
and there hadn't been so many women that
their bOnnets looked like cherry orchard
Soon he put In a word about ''Buchaneers"
and ''Black Republicans thought then
L was III "a political meeting, sure, and ex-
pected every minute to hear No SIS boys
come down with three times three and
tiger" for Buck AID Breck" After
this he grew more frantic about bleeding
Kansas and talked so earnestly about
Sharpe's rifles that L concluded he had an
agency, and got a per centage on al he sold;
he dIdn make any reaIarks about schnapps
and L didn't see any bottles, though L sup
pose their must have been sample han
dy- He had now got his ministerial steam
almost up to exploding point, and raced
round his little platform as if he was era
zy, and wanted to get at somebody. He
mixed up things-Christian love and pie
ty; Fremont republican principles; gun
powder as a moral agent, and medicated
gin as means of grace, niggers, slave
whips, charity, brotherly affection, under
ground railroads, disunion, flowers, little
children, voting, ballot-boxes, polls, White
House President, and Know Nothings, en-
ding up with q loud exhortation for free
speech, free soil and Fremont, with strong
hint that he wanted them to contribute
pretty liberally when the deacon came
round with the plates, as the money was
needed to circulate Republican documents
in Pennsylvania and New Jersey.
This was the preaching.
Then he took two minutes rest, and
made a prayer containing a summary of
the political news for the week then he
put on his Overcoat and disappeared thro'
the trap door,
The organist played the people out with
grand march, in which trumpet solo
was very conspicuous, and added few
dancing tones by way of keeping Sunday
school children quiet.
l went home trying to mentally digest
the politicO-religious hash l had listened
to, and endeavored to decide whether there
was too much politics for the piety, or too
little piety for the politics. Came to the
conclusion that if minister wants to make
a business of electionering he ought to
stump the State for his favorite candidates,
and charge his expenses to the central COM
mittee. Thoughtfully,
Q. X. PHILANDER DOEsTICKs, p. B.