Eaton Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1843-1856, 1856-03-20
Misfel .olleo,lS
The Deaf Aunt apd the peai we.

had an aun! coming to visit me for The ifsl
time since my marriage, and don't know
what evil genIous p ompteh tie wlckedneSs
(which perpetraied towards my wife und-my
ancient relative.
MY dear,' said to my wife, on the day be-
fore my aunts arrival, 'you know aunt Mary
is coming to,Etorfow; well forgot 10 mention
"a rather annoying circumstance in gard to
her. She is very deaf; although she can hear
my voice, 10 uhich she is accustomed, in its
ordinary tones, yet you will be Obliged &c
speak extremely loud in order 10 be heard
IiwllI he raher inconvenieni, but know you
will do everylhingin yolr power 10 make her
s,ay agreeuble.'
Mrs. S, announced her determination tc
make herself heard, lfpossibe.
thtnwent to John 2, who loves ?
joke aboutas well as any person know OF,
and told him TO lie at the house al six p. m
.on the following evening, and felt compara-
lively happy.
went to the railroad 'epot with carriage
,aeu night aud when | vas on my way home
with my aunt, said:
my dear aunt, there is one rather annoying
.inifrmiiy that Anna (his wife) has, that for
got to mention. She's very deaf, and although
she can hear my voice 10 which she is accus.
:tomed, In its ordinary tones, yet you will be
obliged 10 speak extremely loud in order 10 be
heard. livery sorry for it,
Aunt Mary, in the goodness OF her bear
protested that she rather liked speaking loud
am, 10 do SO would afford her great pleasure
The carriage drove up; on the steps was my
wife, IN The widow was John =, witt
face as utterly solemn as If he had buried al
his relatives that afternoon.
handed oul my aunt ,she aScen'ed The steps
Il am delighted 10 see yeu,' shrieked N,
wife, and the policeman On the opposite side
walk started and my aunt nearly fell dowr
;the steps
kiss me, my dear howled my aunt, ant
the hall lamp clstered and the windows SHOOK
as-wi.h fever and ague. looked oil The win
dow, John had disappeared. Human nature
could stand i no longer. poked my heat
into the carriage and went ino strong convul
sions.
Suddenly, did .you have pleasant jour.
,ncyl' went off with my wife like pistol, anC
John nearly jumped to his feet.
Rather dusty was The response, ip wa
,whnop, and so the conversation continued.
;The neigbborS fer blocks around must have
heard it. When was in the third story u
Iuc uullulUR u HcVTu ever! NOtI.
In the con rse Gf The evening ,,my aunt tooh
occasion 10 talk 10 me
How loud your wife speaks. Don'tit hur
heK9,%s "3
ftoFl her all deaf persons talked loudly
and that m, wife, being used 10 II, was mol
,aifecied by the exer'ion, and that Aunt Mary
was getting along very nicely with her. Pres
emily my wife said softly
IAN, how very loudly your aunt talks.
yes said |, 'all deaf persons do
n'Yoti are getting along with her finely; she
>hearSeyery word on say
And rather think she did,
Elated OF their success Of being understood
they went at II hammer and tongs till every
thing ON the mantle piece, claitered again, anf
,Iwas seriously afraid ofn crowd collecting il
the front of the house. But the end was near
Ny aunt being of an investigative turn o.
mind, was desirpus Of finding out whether the
.exertion Of talking so loud was, not injurious
to my wife. So--
Doesn't talking so loud stain yopr lungs?
said she in an rnearthly whoop, for her voice
,wss not as musical as it was when she wal
young.
fis an eyer;ion,' shrieked my wife.
,'Then why do you do t?' was the answer
ling scIe am.
Because Se-because-you can't hear Iif
don't sqaealed my wife.
WHAT said my ann!, fairly rivaling
Railroad whistle this time.
began TO think it lime to evacuate tb,
premises, and looking round and seeing Johr
gone, stepped into the back pnror and Their
he lay, fiat on his back, with his fists poke
into his ribs and o most agonzng expressio,
circumference, but not ntierng sound.
Immediately and involuntarily assumed simi
lar attitude, hhd | think that, from the rela
tive position ofonf.feet and bead, and our a;
tempts to restrain onr laughtef apop lexy mus
have ine7iiably ensIieIb il 2 horrible groaB
which John gave vent to in his endeavor Il
suppress his risibility, had not betrayed ou
hiding place.
In ruShes my wife and amt, who by ihi
time, comprehended The joke, and snen
scolding az | then got never got before, and
hope neverto get again.
/ know not what the eni would have beef
ifJohn, in, his endeavors 10 appear respectful
and sympathetic, had not given vent 10 sucl
O groan aall hoarse langk thatall gravit
was upset. and we screamed ont in concert
/ know it was very wrong, and III that /
tell such falsehoods, but think Mrs. 0pi
herself would have laughed il she had see
Aunt Marys expression when she was informe
that her hearing was defective.