Tribune and telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1855-1856, 1856-05-15
A Moustache Story.

Ihere was once certain military captain
no matter for his name-cOurageous as Boabdil.
SIX feet two in height, long sword, n fierce
looking cooked hat, and a pair of moustaches,
which were the chief delight of his life. Well.
the captain thought of wedding; pelhaps his
notion OF matrimony was a matter of money
but whether or no, it is of 10 business of ours
After little aileen. attoa.ie,, a~.f,., -i..
curry, young lady was found who was toler-
ably handsome, not more than three and twenty,
with good fortune at her disposal. Our cap
tain found means to introduce hinselfa as a sutton,
was lncessant i'll his endeavors to carry his
cause. His tongue was constantly running in
praise OF his super-superativc.uever- to- be-de-
scribed charms and in hyperbolical accounts of
the flames, darts, and daggers, by which he was
Durht up franshxed, and gnawed away One
day, as he was ranting, kneeiiuo and beseccb.
ing the lady, to send him on an Grand to pluck
the diamond from the Of the Great Morul,
and present it To her OF suffer him to steal the
Empress of Chinas enchanted slipper, as n
small testimony of what he would not undertake
to prove his love- she, after a little hesitation,
addressed him thus:
1.-The protcstatiOns which YOU daily make
captain, rs well as what you say at present con-
vince me that there is nothing you would not
do to oblige me. | therefore do not find much
difficulty in telling you that l am willing to be
yours, If yon will be willing to perform one
thing which | shall request of YOU
Tell ne ~ cried the captain, ''Tell me what
it is Though before you speak, be certain that
it is already done. Is it to find the seal of Sol
ONION to catch the Phn'nix draw your
chariot to church with unicorns What is the
impossible act | will not undertake ?"
mo, captain replied the fair one, IL shall
enjoin nothing impossible The thing desire,
you can do with the utmost easc-it will not
cost you five minutes trouble and were it not,
for your so positive assurance, from what have
observed, L should almost doubt your com
plancc.'
"Ah, madam :" returned he wrong not your
slave thus deem it not possible that he who
cats happiness and drinks life from the light of
your eyes, can ever demur the thousandtl part
of q semi-sccOnd to execute your omnipolcnt
behests Speak say what, empress Of my
parchcd frame, what must perform ~
"Nay, for that matter, il is mere tribe
only to shave off your moustaches, CAPTAIN,
that's all
Madam shave off my moustacLcs Excuse
me f! Pardon me, madam ! Anything ese-any-
thing that mind can or cannot imagine, or ton
que describe. But for MY mousiaches you
must grant me a savo thcrci'
And why SO, good captain? Surely, any
gentleman who had but q tithc Of the passion
you express, would not stand on such trife 7 ''
"a trihe, madam NJ, madam no; my nous
taches are no trife. They, madam, are the last
should have supposed you would have wished
me to sacrifice"
MAY be so, sir; but if you wish to marry me
;ou must shave them of.
And is there no other way! Must ! never
hope to be happy with you, unless part with
my moustaches -
Never"
"WclI, then, madam, farewell. ! would not
part with single hair if Catherine the Czarina,
Empress of all the Russians, would make ME
King of the Canucs; and 50 good morning to
you"
Had all young ladies, in like circumstances,
equal penetration, they might generally rid
themselves, with equal ease. of the eoxeOmbs
by whom they are pestered,'