davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Star of the Kanawha Valley. [volume] (Buffalo, Va. [W. Va.]) 1855-1856, 1856-05-28
Managing . Husband.

"How do you manage your hus.
band, Mr.. Croakerl; Such a job as
have of it with Smith," .. 49,. f...,.r
Easiest in the world. my dear;
give him witch backward, when
you want him to 60 forward. For in.
stance, you see, to-day | had a Loaf Of
cake to make. Well, do you suppose
because my bodyis in the pastry room.
my soul need be there tool Not a
bit Of it. | am thinking of celestial
things all the while. s.t2I-isT<4 I.sT
''Now Croaker has q way oftagging
round at my heels. and bringing me
plumpdown the midst Of my aerial
flights, by asking me the price Of su-
gar | am using..ii,t tIE-l4aI I.5srl1
"WeH you see it drives me frantic,
and when | woke up this morning.
and saw this furious storm, ! knew ]
had him on my hands for the day un.
less ! managed right, 50 l told him
that j hoped he wouldn't 20 ont to
catch his death this weather, that il
he was not capable of'taking care Of
himself, ! should do it for, him; that
twas very lonesome rainy days, and
that l wanted him 70 stay at home AMI
talk with me; at any rate he must
60 out, and / hid his umbrella and
India-rubbers. Well, Of course, he
was right end up; Gust as / expected!)
and in less than ten minutes was
streaking down street at the rate Of
ten knots an. hour. gsEr 4gsl 4 e.
"You see there's nothing like un-
derstanding human nature; no woman
shouldget married till she is thorough
ly.posted mp in this branch of educa,
IS. "--Fanny. Fern. .3,ar.y ...i.,y
Star of the Kanawha Valley. [volume] (Buffalo, Va. [W. Va.]) 1855-1856, 1856-05-28
An awful Ugly Month.

A Hoosiery an ugly man, relating
his travels in Missouri, said that he
arrived at Chickenville in the fore
noon, and just q few days, beforethere
had been a boat busted. and a heap Of
people scalded and killed one way
and another. So at last, as / went
into d grocery, a squad Of people fol-
lowed in, and one bowed and says:
sits one of the unfornate suffers
by the bustin' of the Franklin.Yt / III
Upon that he axed me to drink with
him, and as put the turnbler to my
month, he stopped me Of a. sudden.
i begyour pardon stranger-but, :"
seq he. d: #t iszs8 II %ss4 >. f.
H. rsBut whatl' SEE Lii 4sdi1fi sI@isE
''Jist fix your mouth that way
again, SEE he. I'D d \ 4bdfIlsd3 gtH
Iidonefit jist as / was gwine to
drink, and Iii be hanged i'll didn't
think thewhole of them, would go into
fits! they yelled and whooped like a
gang of wolves. Finally, one 'em
SEE: Nd ~, .vr4.e%s rs-LratL >sst..n..TT
''Don't make fun Of, the unfortu-
nate, he's hardly got oversbein' blow
ed up yet. Less make up 9 puss for
[himf - III .,,,53 tsr4grt IL
Then they all throwed il and made
up FIVE dollars. As the spokesman
han1e1 me the change he axed me:
M ,:Whsre did you find yourself after
| the 'splosionlp. I'd ,,;srs,ts M t'tet.zI,,,I
..In q Ast;bost,' isez 1. f,aE.t,fxa59I
How fur from the Frank inr al sez
why sez ita e51 tn seed her;
l'but as nigh as i can; gness. il must
have BEEN from what they tell, nigh
on % M G! Aaadrs9 si,ld seieaty;jere
nlisss. .i.ei Tafss,.a h3l3aaa qI
You'd onghtter see that The gang scat scat
teE. I,tnlHEstI -yatfes8a f4a sEst Eatfa,i
Star of the Kanawha Valley. [volume] (Buffalo, Va. [W. Va.]) 1855-1856, 1856-05-28
\ Tie Real Lsslss. ],

Whatever issnes have existed in
former Preside contests in this
the followingf statement of
the present position ofParties, .by the
Neso HGVen aRegistesss is ~ correct
az tits clear and Donsise: sesoas
sgThere are practically bnt twospar.
ties in the present contest.-the' DEM
ocr0tic, which is guided BY the obiiz
cations Of the Constitution which
seeks to render s.sequal and exact jns-
tice to all men 2 which protects
every man in. the enjoyment Of his
religions opinions which leaves to
each State the arrangements Of its
own domestic afairs--which endeay-
ourst cement the bonds Of the Union,
BY q fraternal feeling among the4sev-
eral States--Aand which would make
our country an asylum efsthe oppres-
sed Of all nations. The opponents d
the Democratic party are Of all creeds
and colors and have two well defined
characteristics one Of which is the
persecution Of men for their religions
belief "a hideous spirit and the
other, a determination to dictate to
the people Of, other sections of the
country on the subject lot slavery, Of
Jreakup The Union! They are now
urging the people on TO civil war in
Kansas throwing obstacles in the
way of carrying ont the lawsiof Con.
gress- denouncing the Constitution
as in the way oftheir internal schemes
-and doing their best to destroy all
fraternal harmony among The people
Of the different States. It will moi
take patriotic voter long. to deter,
mine which party be ought to sup
port, Tara i; ..las.sa, ! IysiatEgfr IVA iitFs
Star of the Kanawha Valley. [volume] (Buffalo, Va. [W. Va.]) 1855-1856, 1856-05-28
The .Ilish Family thai never Rsad i
e gl'454 Iae newspaper. aatI ssfe,55

I a correspondent Of the Indiana
State Sentinel, travelling inthe West
ern part of that State, relates the fol-
flowing incident: AIIsb hHs tfiaafI
The second night after j left your
city, ! put mp lat o large brick tavern
known as the L--e house. The
proprietor, in answer. to some inter.
rogatories. informed inc that he own
ed over 400 acres Of land, had raised
the present season 900 bushels of
wheat, $50 bushels Of oats, and ex-
pected ito harvest 1900 bushels of
corn; that he owed no man a dollar;
and that he never took q newspaper
| in his life! i had the curiosity to
learn how a family kept up with the
current news of the day, when de-
prived Of the means Of obtaining it.
Soon after / entered the family cir
Gle, which consisted Of the parents
and six children, the eldest a daugh-
ter on the shady side of twenty-five
the mother commenced with: .,''
"Mister, do you know whether the
great MI, Webster is hanged yet!'
Eyes, madam" r. Jf', ..,
well" said she, ~ allow he'll
not make more Of them spellin books
II suppose not" T. I T * . I.'..
| I've lived SO long lin the world
said the mother, with d deep sigh.
sand I have never seed anybody
hanged yeti I always thought ia
like to see one hanged, but It never
happened to come right, 'andII am
getting 50 old now ! don't 'spect ev,
or will. I I've seen the sarcus anil
caravin and SIGH kind Of shows, but l
wonld ruther see one fellow hanged
. than fifty Of them shows" I.
Stranger" said the daughter.
there is going to be an animal show
tomorrow down here about six miles,
may be you'd like to lay over and 90
down. Brother James says they've
gottwo snakes there, the same as what
can swallow an elephant, and I don't
believe there ever was any sich snakes
do you' '",L' 10 Etlf I.,@l. o-t I
gs.No, miss" '. 4 + l-. ~ a..
"'Wall, then the biography lies jest
like other folks!" liz + T. =.
'f Mother" said James, lyon don't
know what you are talking about. ~
Don't the United States make the
1jographiesl What's the use of put:
ting lies into emf They make 'em
every ten years; they DIRE going to
make another in a few days. They
send men ont all over the country to
find out everything that's what that
CHAP was here for tother day. asking
so many tarnal questions about
Stranger, your supper's really II y; ~
Star of the Kanawha Valley. [volume] (Buffalo, Va. [W. Va.]) 1855-1856, 1856-05-28

from Hessc tp be employed bytkeir
'tllieving masters AS Beggafs in the
streets Of iLond are, Heaven be
praised, less and less frequently seen
here, but mi their place We notice
among the Oyprians swarming, more
and more German women. q These
are enticed tfithef witkspecious pre-
fences from Hamburg, Bremen and
the Rhine countries; taken in'chafge
by PROGRESSES. 'rednced to abject des1
'titution, and at last turned out upon
the Streets On the other hand, the
Germansand especiallythe Hamburger
'brothels have their regular agents
here, by whom English girls are,
through d thousand villainous sasts,
allured on'board ship and carried off
to the Continent. Net long since,
one of these cases was brought before
the city magistracy. A young girl
had been taken away from her fathers
house almost by force. In the deep
est distress He applied to Sir Robert
Cardenifor aid in recovering his child,
and fortunately in time to obtain it.
Sir Robert autographed to the Ham
burgh Policeto arrest the kidnappers,
and at once sent over two trusty agents
to release the girl. Smith and Mum
ger-the agents employed--state that
they succeede ID in this only after much
effort, that the procuress who took
the girl had reported her as d thief,
and that they had reason to suspect
that said procuress was on excellent
terms with the Police, who raised all
sorts of obstacles in their way; that
many other English girls were kept
in Hamburger upon, various pretexts;
that the traffic was thoroughly organ
lied; that the British Consul was
aware of the fact, but could do ,abso-
lutelynothing, unless Lord Clarendon
should see fitIto take decisive meas
nres; and finally, the wretched condi.
tion Of these unfortunate victims was
hcart-rending, a'tSsl ':7lG". - '<<
Star of the Kanawha Valley. [volume] (Buffalo, Va. [W. Va.]) 1855-1856, 1856-05-28

me for a week." and lat that we bid
'em good night ami left, promisin to
go to the next one and take few les
sons in the common Porker and
shoutish dance. How l came ont,
may be ! may tell you, in another let.
tor. Your friend, -. - 49,. 4-,..5 ;,
i II H. BEN JoNs1NG, =. . -,
=. :: ..l..,.i Of Sleepy Hollow. 2.
Star of the Kanawha Valley. [volume] (Buffalo, Va. [W. Va.]) 1855-1856, 1856-05-28
How they Like Ii.

\ No Know Nothing paper in Maine
supports the Philadelphia nomina.
tons. M Know Nothing paper -
New Hampshire supports them.
None III Vermont. None IN Con.
necticut. None in Rhode Island
Ex-Governor 6olby,of New Hamp-
shire, who was falsely reported 70
have acquiesced !, repudiates the whole
thing. Ditto the delegates from New
Hampshire, 1t Philadelphia. The
Know Nothings Of New Haven have
repndiatsd the Philadelphia doings
byla formal resolution. yss,so sI
Star of the Kanawha Valley. [volume] (Buffalo, Va. [W. Va.]) 1855-1856, 1856-05-28
.Mist.Ilapspus.5
.s!+ 'i From the Southern Star. q. .
Ben Jon,int'i Description Of ! Waltz.

b nc FE53sX s(9lIl q y XII
When we got into the place, we
found o great long room, az big as .
meetin' house, lighted up with smash
ing big lamps, covered all over with
glass hangings. The ladies looked
as nice as little angels. their faces as
white as If they dipped them into q
-four barrel: such red cheeks / hain't
seen in all Sleepy Hollow; their arms
all covered with gold bands, chains,
and shiny beads; such lips YOU never
see--they looked acome kiss ME all
oyer;;n their eyes looked like dia-
monds; their waists drawn to the
size Of q pipe-stem, and made to look
like they were nndergoin 20 regular
cuttin-in-two operation by tying q
string tight round them. f@,3
Alter the gals and the youngsters
had walked, round, round and round
for q considerable spell the music
struck up-and SIGH music! It was .
big horn and q little horns . big fute
i iI s ilis.s nv ,,,cb sonek;n. saual'
r.; ,e ta J =. and r,oan;n / never
ha -, Sl -. I. nas I;Ia Il, the rata
Mo- No. "a y.o.. + cbr;stendom had
- rs $500 -; =, 3 socst VI They
coilss s. ! e. ~, e poEEsr / snnnose
4 a. !, ,nsds ~ so,,s of them Sin.
Star of the Kanawha Valley. [volume] (Buffalo, Va. [W. Va.]) 1855-1856, 1856-05-28

"A gentleman having occasion Is
call npon . physician ID Cineinhati,
the otherdays stoppsd at the door and
rang sthestbelA The ssnmnnonsE was
lanswered byaa servant girl Of whom
ny inquired II the doctor was IN
Nd, was the reply sF z'sas
is his lady INF M
4 itFes, h;is aio1i 81 aassa $50 sniI
ISIS sbe lengagedl' i,its =, s.l,s,.5
4. The GIRL ooked. 4 him aslqopient,
while q curious expression settI led on
her features, ~ she replied %,
che Is alread niarried as'' y 4 ss1l
The gsntI III. 4 aaid. ss's I
A2 n e7 $500, III. M 1919, II u k,>Sst $500
Star of the Kanawha Valley. [volume] (Buffalo, Va. [W. Va.]) 1855-1856, 1856-05-28
Burd.n..Bearsrs..,.

Some years since. a gentleman was
invited by a friend to make q speech
at the anniversary of one of our great
benevolent societies. When the time
arrived, the speaker looked around
the platform for the face Of his friend.
whom he regarded as the leader in
the enterprise; bnt he was nowhere
10, be seen. During the exercise,
however; he cast his eyes DIP TO the
multitude which thronged the gallery
Of the largest binding in the great
city. and there, III on obscure corner,
eat his noble friend. When the meet
Ing was over, the hidden man came
forth with 10Y IN his iace, thanking
one and another for their efforts. and
expressing great pleasure in the pros
perity exhibited BY the report and
attendance. !" fiiii4 " t..S
.But, y asked the spesker slrcady
alluded to, II thought yon were the
President Of this societyi'f ~ tf'']
ssOh, no! I ana not replied the mod,
az man gis8ezf 1i3iI i2tilifN l3isi .o2l,
SsaTReh you are one Of the vics
President surely, 2 returned The gen
|tlcmau. sFlie ~ ailiJ iaaiY e
"No, / am not" 80 AZ
ssAre you the Secretary then OF thi
| TrSSSI 1917, tl3id iID9IS E2l9tITB VIE
.tNo, neither ofthese.'
aTheu what are you'll What ofac|
ldo you an ID The Boasdlp u 7pioSl
talssNoSe, Sif: ] have no sofAce, an
Star of the Kanawha Valley. [volume] (Buffalo, Va. [W. Va.]) 1855-1856, 1856-05-28

THERE Is, An END. To everything
beneath the sun there, comes q last
day and of all' fnturity this Is tie
only portion of time that can ID Sall
eases BE infalliblypredic aLetthc
sanguine then take warning, and the
take courage; f6r "a
every sorrow, toeyefy hope and eve
.fy fear, there VIII come . last day
and the man ought ID ID live ~ fore
sight, that whil6 Ehe learns iii aee4fJ
state 70 b contenE Ne ghall III. .each
be prepared for Snot w. y J! z. thl
Other may b. I 4 Z I. 's ..' 81 sass'
Star of the Kanawha Valley. [volume] (Buffalo, Va. [W. Va.]) 1855-1856, 1856-05-28
AFfifflt m Thits Glfl,.

THE traffic IN girls between England
and the Continent has Of late been
carried on. gays Sherman paper, il
not upon 90 large OF DO openly a. that
CiFoassisn or O onstsntinople, ct least
inlalfar moro shameful manner, with
ont our boosted civilization iItsfpos.
ing anytemedy, The Hsssisii broom
4iFls1those poor little disseminated
creatures Who Sfe purchaSed or stolct
Star of the Kanawha Valley. [volume] (Buffalo, Va. [W. Va.]) 1855-1856, 1856-05-28

never had, unless, ifyou choose, you
may call me the packhorse Of the en-
|terprise!'' fF3 ssta ne
That was just the worthy mans Of.
fice-the packhorse Or the burden
bearer. g
Star of the Kanawha Valley. [volume] (Buffalo, Va. [W. Va.]) 1855-1856, 1856-05-28

"Giys us Songr' the soldiers cried, B
The outer trenches guarding, NH
: When the heated guns Of the camp allied
Grew weary Of bombarding. J,f+s
The dark Redan, in silent scoff, X
Lay, grim and threatening, under;
And the tawny mound of the Malakoff
:, No longer behind its thunder.
T. I'm n ~ },a1 a
: There was pause. The g1lardsman said:
ave storm the forts tomorrow; ss
Sing while we may, another day %+Hs;-
VIII bring enough Of sorrow. -" m.
They lay along the battery's side,
Below the smoking cannon, .9t.
Brave hearts, from Savern and from Clyde
" And from the banks Of Shannon. II
They sang Of love, and not of fame;,
Forgot was Britain's glory; +itlif M
Zach heart recalled ! different name. II
But oil sang annie Laurie" II II
I e r /,
Voice after voice caught up the song, u
Until its tender passion er5.@I III "a. 4
Rose like an anthem, rich and strong.
Their battle-eve confession. 4.
Dear girl, her name he dared not spcak, N
Yet as the song grew louder, II.
Something upon the soldiers cheek NJ
Washed Of the stains Of powder. !.
Beyond the darkening ocean burned III
The bloody sunsets embers. aa Z II
|. While the Crimean valleys learned !. II
How English love remembers. aaiI
Aad once again FIRE Of hell ..t...sE "A
Rained on the Russian. quarters II
With scream Of shot, and burst OF shell,
And believing of the mortars. Il. N
And Irish Nora's eyes are dim TEtI
VI For singer, dumb and, CORY; ,.II
And English Mary mourns for him
j Who. sang OF Annie Laurie" +. H
All. soldiers! TO -FOUR honored rest II 1
YourEtruth and yalor bearing; Il
The brayest are the tenderest- ..--,ifsI
The loving are the daring. I. I
~ F7 BAYARp TAYLOR.
Star of the Kanawha Valley. [volume] (Buffalo, Va. [W. Va.]) 1855-1856, 1856-05-28

seemed to say, =. entity or not guilty, |
you are my mother. That boy Will
make b good and useful imam unless
we are greatly mistaken. Bufalol
Courier. Eia i !, tt.,s4fssq
Star of the Kanawha Valley. [volume] (Buffalo, Va. [W. Va.]) 1855-1856, 1856-05-28

"hGst AsdHg and .Golldalt 2tep.'s
Little boy named Frank, was
standing in the yard when bis father
called him: H xass5lF I'D III ksfI
Il tsFranki'' n l.g,ssI hsIB Isl
ssirl''' said ffank, snd started htF
full speed and ran into the sfresR 81 81 Z
His father called him ,baclg !, and
asked him II lie did not hear hiss flrst
cal. III Ii sss,iff ,s.sisssss Fsss
= Yes, Sir, said Franz. ff0g
RssWel then, said his father, what \
made you run into the sfreetl', /
80, psaid FRANK, 81 got aeoing and |
eouldn't stop.sii II ssssa 7: q ssss dsRi
This is the way that 1 great many
boys get into difficulty: they get ago /
ing andS can't stop. The little boy
that tells lies, began first to stretch 1
truth q little7to tell 4 large story, q
relate an anecdote with very little
variation, till he got agoings and
couldn't stop till he came ont q full,
grown liar. ah II
The boy that was brought before
the police and sent to the House 0f'
Correction for stealing, began byI
taking little things from his mother
by stealing sweatmeats and other
nice things that were put away. Next
be beganto take things from bic COM
panions. at school, He got ag0in9
and couldn't stop till he got ID jail.
These two boys that youl see fight
ing on the green, began by banteringE
each other IN fun. AT lenght they
began TO getangry and dispute, and
call each other names, till they got
agoing and couldn't STOP. They will
separate with black eyes and bloody
noses.
There il . young man sitting late,
with his companions At b gambling
table. He has. flushed cheeks, an
anxious look, q despairing counte:
nance. He has lost his last dollar.
He began BIZ playing marbles in tho
street, but he got agoing and couldn't
stop. s .sass q y
See that man with i dark lantern,
stealing froin.his master's drawer. "
He is q merchants clerk. He camc
from the country promising boy
But tho rest Of the clerks went to tho
n IA 80 . atf ~
Star of the Kanawha Valley. [volume] (Buffalo, Va. [W. Va.]) 1855-1856, 1856-05-28

An anecdote Is told Of Finney, the
revivalist, and q canaller, to the fol-
lowing effect: 49, y
He was holding forthpiin Roches-
ter, and ii walking along the canal
oneoday, CAME acrossa boatman who
was swearing furiously. Going up
he confronted HIM, and abruptly ask
ed: M .-..
i. 's'SiL do you know where yon are
going9a baiNd,i. bsi,a s..;as 81, S,.6
The unsuspecting boatman limo
Gently replied that he was going III,
TIE canal 81 the boat s.Johnny
sir,, you are not continued
Finney, '.you are going to hell faster
that q canal caaconvey you.''
The iboatmaa looked &C him Id as-
constituent "a 3.z 4dIe, md then %.
tnrned the qnesllolI llr;aS .,,.u
! :lsi III da y0H, know vhesc yQa az
~ expect to 90 TO heaven. 4
4 y, III, you ars g6ihg ID the "a.
nall" h,s l1sf cd M ~ FafsEsre eai
i'glAhd suiting The action to thS word,
took Finney in,hiS earIns and .tossel
him In the muddyswaters, where Nc
would have drowned had notthe boat.
man relented and fshedr him ont sdi
Star of the Kanawha Valley. [volume] (Buffalo, Va. [W. Va.]) 1855-1856, 1856-05-28

rand tighter. The more the gals
jumped and capered, the more the
fellers jumped and capered, and, the
tighter they squeezed the gals, till at
last | begun to think the thing was
being carried too far for fun. was
q little green in these matters, and
seein the gals tryin harder and harder
TO get away, rs ] thought, and the
fellers holdin tighter and tighter, it
was very natural l should take the
Partsof the. gals. So my dander kept
. risin higher and higher, till /
thought my biler would bust unless
| got ont steam. j bounced smack
into the middle ofthe room. "Thun-
der. and lightningl everybody come
here with shot-guns, six-shooters, and
butcher-knives,n > bawled |, at the. top
Of my voice, s.for will be shot ii
any dad blasted, long bearded, mon
key7faced feller impose on gals that
ar way wheretI am" And / was Jest
agoin to pitch into them promiscu-
ously, when my merchant caught me
by the arm, and said, "Stop, Ben
t.fll be ceased, !" says ], sit / will See
the wirnmin folks imposed onl Look
what them fellers are doin and how
hard the gals are rarin and pitchin to
git away from 'em!1 Do you s'pose i
can stand like a mile-post and see
gals suffer so. 4 Look" says l, '.there
is . gal almost broken down, and
ready to give up to that rang-otang
of a lfeller! Yonder is another 60
faint her head has fallen on the bo-
som of the monsterl" / tell you i
was ashy. ] felt like / could jump
into 'em like catamount into q pig
PEN. 4Etf s,5st d. Ha.s !.gasys4-A
When l looked into my merchants
face, i thought he: would have busted.
He laft and laft, and squatted down
and laft. "Why," says he; ssBen.
that is nothing but the red, war waltz
they are dancin, and them, gals amt
tryinI to get away from them: fellers
they are only caperin to make the
fellers hold 'em tighter, kase they
like it. The more the gals caper, the
tighter they wish to be squeezed. As
to layin their heads on the fellers bo-
SONS, that's very common in this city.
They expect to be married some of
these days, and they want to, be &C.
customed to it, 80 they. won't be a
blushin and turnin pale when the
parson tells tho groom to salute the
bride. There 10 nothing like being
used TO such things" i 49,, a e.. I
s'You may take my hat" says to
my merchant, II was tuck in that
time y tell you though it is the
first time ] ever seen the like before.
Ihave seen the Indian hug and the
Congo dance, but | tell you this red
war waltz knocks the hat crown out
Of every thing ] ever seed. al Is. /,
AFTER j had got out of tho way and
everything commenced goin on agin
the music got faster-Oh, it was as
fast and as furious as q north. wester!
The gals rared again, the fellers hug
ged tighter. and the music makers
pulled out blowing" Then the gals
and fellers spun und@like 50 many
tops run mad. The fellers leaned
Star of the Kanawha Valley. [volume] (Buffalo, Va. [W. Va.]) 1855-1856, 1856-05-28
TERM:

-'990ne copy. one year, in advance, 81 So
II not paid within thirty days, 90, will inyara a
bly be charged. 5s fss. Is.
sPostmasies are authorized to act q
Agents for the '.Star z ~ tEsss. \
Star of the Kanawha Valley. [volume] (Buffalo, Va. [W. Va.]) 1855-1856, 1856-05-28

n Place ! bone across : pork rind,
and yoq have Bony Pm c7Q.sipg the
k ;s,: Ais 81 IRE IS q