The independent press. (Abbeville C.H., S.C.) 1853-1860, 1856-08-29
How to Meet a Duelist.

We have always regarded the practice of
duclling as relic Of the harbarous accs-a
custom which is sanctioned neither hy the
laws OF religion or of reason, aud whicl,
should be condemned by every moral, sober
Judging man. OF courage the duel is no
criterion; oftentimes it happens that tho
profcssed duclist, when called upon to meet
death or danger i'll an unwontcd shape, is
tha mist to turn his back and fec.
a few Years since us Il New England gen
tleman, whose name we shall call Brown,
was passing few days ut Il hotel in one of
our western cities, he lad the misfortune to
unintcntionally offend the susceptible hon
or of a tall Indiana Colonel WHO was one Of
his fellow boarders.-IIis apologies not be-
ing satisfactory, a challenge was sent him,
which, however, he declined, upon the
ground Of conscientious scruplcs.-Thc CO.
lionel, who, by the way, had won in two or
three encounters, quite reputation as n
duclist, at once conceived the idea that his
opponent was coward, and resolved to dis.
grace him 10y flogging him in the face of all
the assembled wisdom Of the house. Ac-
cordingly, the next day, at dinner time, in
marched the duclist, armed with formida-
bic cowhide, and advancing to Browns
CHAIR, proceeded to dust his jacket for him
in the most approved style. Brown was as
tonishcd. Luckily he had been a lieutenant
OF militia in his native State, and knew the
Importance Of incommoding his enemy bv
a diversion. So, seizing gravy turccn, he
tossed the contents into the face Of his bel
ligeront colonel, and before that hero could
recover from the drowning sensation thus oc-
casloncd, he sprang upon the table and be-
gan to shower upon him with liberal hand,
the contents Of the dishes around.
"Iou are an Internal"
"Coward," the colonel was about to say,
bnt at the moment plate of greens struck
full upon his mouth, and the word was
blockadcd and lost forever
"lla " cried the little New Enclander,
whose blood was now up, 'fond of greens.
are you? Take potatoc too :" and he
hurled telling vollcy Of hard potatoes at
him excellent eggs here F; capital things
with calves head land crasl, came a plate
of boiled eggs, against the side of his era
mum.
The blows Of the cowhide which had
hitherto descended upon the Yankees head
and shoulders, now began to fall more weak
ly and wildly, and it became evident that
the assai liant, half stunned, choked and par
tally blinded, was getting tho worst Of it..
His courage was rapidly oozing out.
"Take turkey" shouted Brown, as n no.
bic old gobbler descended fairly upon the
coIonel's head, and bursting, filled his hair
and eyes with delicious looking stufIing I;
"and here's the fixings," he continued as the
squash and jelly followed after.
BY this time the colonel was irretrieva-
bly, defeated, and as his merciless opponent
seized a huge plum pudding, steaming hot,
and holding it above his head with both
hands seemed about to bury him beneath it,
he quailed in terror, and throwing down his
cowhide turned about and made a rush for
the door.
''Stop. for the pudding, colonel; stop for
the pudding" shouted Brown. aPuddinp,
colonel, pudding" screamed all his fellow
boarders amid convulsions Of laughter But
the colonel was too terrified to listen to their
kind invitations, and did not cease runn;ng
until he had looked himself into his room.
But although the colonel escaped from
the plum pudding, he could not escape
from the ridicule which the affair occasion
ed. He subsequently challenged four per
sons against whom his ire was partic,
ticularly excited, and they all consented to