New Orleans daily crescent. [volume] ([New Orleans, La.]) 1851-1866, 1856-10-31
Pnper-Its Uaes.

ont of exstencet or course such thing is not Dog
sible; but any thing is slpposable and the bare con-
temptation for moment of this suppositon must
fill the appreciativc mind with horror. Though
cheap and imsy article in itself, the uses of paper
render it the most universally useful article on the
face of the globe Crude and costly, it sprang from
the bosom Of the Nile, ages ago, and preserved the
record Of mighty deeds and of glowing thoughts that
have fed and exalted the mind of man ever since, and
will continue to do so through sll time to come
Where would be the sublime lessons and the solemn
warnings Of the Holy Scriptures, but for paper?
Where would be the stirring songs of Honler-the
wisdom of Plato-the grandeur of Greece-the glory
Of Rome-the sad souvenirs Of early Christianity
the bloody marches of the Crnsades-but for paper:
Where would be the might, the civilization, the re-
fincmcnt Of the present age, but for paper? And
what hope for the future would there be without
paper?
Let us consider what would follow total annihla-
ton of paper Religion would become added: physc
would acquire new telrors and law would die away
like smoke. Our of letters our learned profess
sors, would fall to the level of the meanest block
heads, for they would have no documents to show
for their wonderful assertions Ourpoets unless they
reformed, would become wandering Ministries, and
be doomed to bear the rdicule and singing criticism
that they avoid by sending forth their lucubrations
on paper. Our young asprants for literary fame in
general would become convalescent, and once more
objects of hope to their anxious families. Our mer-
chants without their daily papers, would be in a sad
plight the most conscientious of theta would commit
suicide because they couldn't advertise whilst trade
in general would become as uncertain and precarous
as hore-swappng. Our big politicians would either
take to hard work or hard drink, emigrate to At:
ripa Doc4
would vanish like golden dream, and there would
be no mails, except black mail and males and females
The whole tribe of editors, printers and engravers
would become ingorously defunct and painters would
become the Kings of the world. It is in fact, impos
slbc to enumerate 1.-THE of the calamities and per-
pexities that would follow an annhation of paper.
The world would be upset generally, and creation
would advance backwards And, dreadful thought !
would not now be penning this most instructive
| article!
| Next contrast the uses of paper. 4 potentate
scratches few words on bit of paper, and 10. the
world is in commotion. A grocer sells bit of soap,
| and it goes home in paper. The scholar racks his
| brain the mechanic plies his skill the laborer pods
and for what! paltry bit of paper, ornamented by
a fancy figure Or two, and somebody's signature.
Some men Danish themselves from home and country ::
some sell their liberty, and others their souls great
intellect grovels in the dust, and beauty falls from her
high estateall for the magic that lies in little bit
of paper. 1fa wishes to drill hole through his
ncighbor bit Of paper apprses him of the pleasing
fact. If delinquent debtor, traitorous lover Or
fast tinancer wishes to tell lie to person he fears
to face bit of paper does the business for him. And
/ who has not felt the intense shudder, the fearful
qnaking Of the soul that is inspired by the sight of
/ bit OF paper in the hands Of dun? Loafers light
their cigars with paper BARRIERS put
on paper; paper is, in short, closely allied to every
! condition of human existence. It is the Archimelan
lever that moves the world the twin sister of light
ITSELF More than tlis-through its mute assistance,
| human wisdom seems not only to have reached the
acme of nationality, but is soaring in the empyrean,
and seeking the uperna-assaling the dark curtain
OF the future and pretending to descry objects in the
ilmitable beyond! We think of Babel and sliudder.
Suppose the same Providence that struck terror and
confusion into people for essaying to reach the
| heavens with brick and mortar, should take similar
cognzance of people who seek to soar through the
heavens and beyond them on paper?
All we have said, good reader is to show the uni
versatility and the might OF paper; which we would
think is about enough for any one article of human
manufacture But this is not all: paper keeps pro-
gress with the age, and is seeking some field
of usefulness. Not content with being the aid and
soace of mankind in most Of the stages and relations
of his existence it has sought to ally itself to his per-
son and since the introduction of shirtcollars
Those standards of dignity, aids to beauty and in
dcNes Of character-paper has felt that it would like
to surp the place of linen. There is certain amount
OF intellect i'll shirt collar, when properly shaped
and neatly worn and, when we consider the amount
of mind that many people bestow upon the shirt col
lar, we think it should be entitled to the name and
honor of a literary production. Why, then, should
not paper seek to claim its oWn But paper will not
| wash and paper has been compelled to stand back
for linen, through centuries OF silent envy. But at
last paper shouts Eureka! 1t has finally succeed
ed-the genius of Yankee invention has come to its
aid-and we now have the felicity of informing the
world i'll general and our readers in particular, that
this is the happy year which will stand in future
chrOnologies remarkable for the invention Of paper
shirt-co|ars! Yes! they are not only invented, but
are actually here in midst and MooDY, the Shirt
King has enough Of them to incontinenty collar all
| New Orleans!
| 1t is fact. They are most beautiful article to
look at. with the aid of microscope, it may be
| discovered that they not woven, aud that the
| apparent stitching around the edges is imprinted
only. The naked eye may strain itself in vain to tell
them from fine linen. They stiff, and not eas y
torn; nor will Precipitation make them wilt like
linen. Though they are properly paper collars, they
are not all paper The basis is piece of muslin :
| the completion, coating of paper enamel on each
side of the muslin the whole combining toushncss
and beauty, like trpe fried in batter. But it is paper
alone that the eye sces--papcr alone that the neck
feels Andthen, there different fashions of them
for paper is determined to suit every taste in shirt
collars There are short sand-ups, and long stand
ups short turlltoWns and long turlldowns; some
made to button to the shirt, and others to put on
loose with a clasp behind. They do not wash, how
ever: hut paper laughs at that for it has crrun-
vented soapandwater by its cheapncss and, for the
glory Of being worn day or two, Tor longer accord
ing to the taste OF the wearer,) is content to be
thrown away and forgotten forever. The paper col
lars offer themselves to an appreciative public at the
paltry price Of four bits dozen and hint to the
economical man, that if he will lay in a supply of
them. with fancy scarf to hide his BOSOM he may
bring his WasheIwoman down to one shirt week if
not considerably less.
Citizens of New Orleans, again we say, there are
paper shiltcollar5 in midst and we urge you to
go to Moody's and inspect them for yourselves. We
have no idea that paper will stop at collars. The day
we apprchend, is not far distant when paper shirts
md On md hpn a.,