Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1856-03-12
VENING STAR,
An Unexpected Proposal Of Marriage.
From the " Widow Bedott Papers ~

rom the - WIDOW bSdOU fdpers IL
Mr.. Crane. Well, widder, I've been think
ing about taking another companion, and 1
thought L d ask you
Widow Oh, Mr.. Crane. egscuse my COM
mOtion-its so unexpected. Just hand me
that are bottle O. campfire of the mantlery
shelf m ruther faint dew put little mite
on my ndkirchief and hold il to my nuz.
There, that'll do, L m obliged tew ye-now
NJ ruthur composed. You may purceed, Mr..
Crane
Mr.. Crane. Well, widder, was agoing to
ask you whether-whether-
Widow. Continner, Mr.. Crane, do / know
it terrible embarrassin'. L remember when
my deceased husband made his suppositions
to me, he stammered and suffered, and was
so awfully huttered it did seem as if he'd
never get out In the world, and L s'pose it,
generally the case, at least it has been with
all them that's made suppositions 10 me-you
see they're generally cOncerting about what
kind of answer they're agwine to git, and il
kind O'makes 'em nervous But when an in
div idiwal has reason to s'pOse his attachment
reciprocated, don't see what need there is
o'being illustrated tho must say it's quite
embarrassin' to me. Pray cOntinner
Mr. Crane Well, then, want to know IL
you re willing should have Melissy?
Widow. The dragon.
Mr.. Crane. L han't said anything to her
about it yet-thought the proper way was
to get your consent first. I remember when
l couIted Irypenny we ,were, engaged some
time before mother Kenipe knew any thing
about it, and when she found il out she wss
quite put out because diddent 90 to her first
30 when made up my mind about Melissy,
thinks me, I'll dew it right this time and
speak to to the old woman first
Widow. Old woman, hey! that's a purity
name to call me !-amarin' perlite tew-want
Melissy, hey. Tribbleation. gracious sakes
alike we'll, I'll give it up now, L always
know'd you was simpleton, Tim Crane, but
| must confess dident thiak you was quite
so big fool-want Melissy, dew ye? Ifthat
don't beat all What an everlasting old
calf you must be to s'pose she'd look at you
why, you re old enough TO be her father and
more tew-Melissy amt only in her twenty
oneth year. What Ridiculous idee for
man o your age as gray as rat tew! /
astonishin' what fools old widdowers will
make O themselves! Have Melissy Me
lissy.
Mr. Crane. Why, widder, you surprise
me; d no idea of being treated in this way,
after yOu d been SO perlte TO me, and made
such fuss over me and the girls.
Widow. Shet your head, Tin Crane; nun
CT your sass to me. There's yer hat on that
are table and here's the door, and the sooner
:
better it'll be for you. And L advise you,
afpre you try to git married again, to go out
West and see'f yeur wife's cold and arter
ye re satisfied on that pint. jest put little
iampblack ON yer hair, 'twould add to your
appearance undoubtedly, and be Of sarvice
tew you when you want to flourish round
among the gals, and when ye've got yer hair
fix, jest splinter the spine O. yer back
twouldn't hurt your looks mite you'd be
entirely unresistable if you was little grain
straiter
Mr.. Crane. Well, never,
Widow. Hold yer tongue, you consarned
old coot, you; tell ye there yer hat and
there S the door. Be off with yerself, quick
metre, or I'll give ye hyst with the broom
stick.
Mr.. Crane. Gimmeni,
Widow (rising Git out, L say; L amt
gwine to stand here and be insulted under my
own ruff; and go git along, and if you ever
darken my door agin, or say word to Melissy,
lt'Il be wus for you, that's all
Mr. Crane. TREMENDOUS. What buster
Widow. Go long, you everastin' old gum.
won hear another word stops her ears
won't, L won't, won't.
Exit Mr.. Crane.