Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1856-05-01

proud to say that'no Convention is more honorable
than this, applause II have the honor, Irepeat,
to propose to this honorable Convention, that
henceforth we ape the Mexican fllibusteros; and
that it be recorded, as standing rule Of our or
der, that no razor shall hereafter come near our
faces, and that shears shall not come near our
heads except in the event that the inhabtats there
of shall become troublesome by reason of our be-
ing unable, owing to the exuberance of our tress.
es, to oust them by the ordinary processes of the
toilet. (Great applause, and cries Of 'good, goit
bald facer')
| By adopting this policy, Mr.. President and gen.
tlemen, we shall gain many advantages, not before
enjoyed by our order In the first place, by the g.
daption of this rule We ignore American manners
and customs, and adopt those of the fllibustero;
and each Of us ill be esteemed, especially by the
fair sex, courageous, jtroeous and brave in pro.
portion to the quantity Of hair and bristes on our
faces; and more particularly on our upper lips
and chins.
In the-second place, gentlemen, this rule, if a.
dopted, will give our order the most perfect or
ganization ever enjoyed by any fraternity or
brotherhood which has existed among mankind
since the food for after our hair and dbristes red,
brown, black, auburn, gray, sandy and brindle,
shall have time to be developed in all their luxu-
rance, We shall no moro need pass words, sign,
grip or formula of any kind, by which to recog-
nize the members of the brotherhood, day or
night, at home or in distant lands. Aye! the most
feeble in intellectual capacity amongst us will be
able in any latitude Of the known world, to recog
nize member of our brotherhood to
be proudly entitled the universal brotherhood"-
by the quantity Of hair upon the face and the rich
luxuriance of the unshaven countenance, barring
the innovation which may sometimes be rendered
necessary by the rreverential and forcible entries
of the inhabitants thereof upon the premisea.--.
(Cproarious applause, and cries Of ''we don't
mind the live stock..'')
In the third place, Mr.. President and gentle
men, we shall derive another advantage from the
covering Of our faces and especially that part Of
which is pendant from the upper lip. We sll
know, gentlemen, that the porridge and other IL
quids which we imbibe, "for the stomach's sake"
and to strengthen and cheer the heart of the inner
man, would often be none the worse for being we'll .
strained; that thereby our bodies be not defled,
and our minds be-clouded with the deleterious i'm
purities Upon our upper lips, then, and without
one particle Of personal Inconvenience, we shall
carry filters which will completely remedy the
evil, through which all the liquids We imbibe must
pass and be purged of their crudities before to-
king up their abode within us-thus subscribing,
in an eminent degree, not only the objects Of our
organization but also the great purposes Of health
1t is true, gentlemen, that some of these liquids
which we freely use for our nourishment contain
chemical agents which, combining with the color
ing matter Of the hair, sometimes change the CLOS
sy black into o sort of sun-burnt brown, and thus
impart to US somewhat the appearance of black
steed with bald face; yet, as this metamorpho-
sis is often, in fact, effected by that delectable
drink which, in our vernacular, is known by the
name Of "bald-face," and which might with great
propriety be adopted as the emblem Of our order
-lucus non lucsndo-there is at last very little
that can be urged as Objectionable in making our
countenances conform to thisdistinguished feature
Of our faith.
In the fourth place, the scheme propose will
most efectually dispense with that old-fashioned,
old-fogy folly Of kissing, practised in times past
in the play of "Sister Phabe,'' ana, on many
other occasions; for no one of good taste would
give 6au6ee for kiss given through hair-mat
as thick as the shield Of Ajax, and, I trust, no
member Of our order would ever so far forget
what is due to the dignity Of that order as first to
propose kiss and then delay the consummation
until he could part the bristles on his upper lip,
and lay the locks, respectively; behind his ears
1t is true, Mr.. President that the members of our
order belong 1--WE don't deny it, and, if we were,
nobody would believe us) to the long-eared tribe
Of animals; but that is no reason why we should
expose our tell-tale appendages to public inspec.
tion, when it can be so easily avoided Ina word,
am credibly informed that the Mexican illibus.
tero never degrades his rank by kissing anything;
and am in favor Of speing to the letter the gal.
liant, brave, fierce, and handsome model We have
chosen.
In the fifth and last place, Mr.. President and
gentlemen, if the policy propose be adopted, the
great fact will be brought to light that the mem.
bers of our order are for mere numerous than Ia
generally supposed In fact, it will by its inhe.
rent advantages draw many into our fold that
have not heretofore been identified with us. The
lantern-jawed portion Of the community will snob
themselves, in order to round off the corners of
their countensnces, with hair cushions, by sort
Of man-milliner process. The eighteen -year.old
substitute for man will cultivate his bristles By
manurng them with dippled candle, that all the
misses of the neighborhood may be deluded into
the belief that he is "man;" simply because
the soil Of his face has been coaxed into the pro.
duction of scanty CROP The buck of spirit will
put his boot-legs outside of his pants, don tiger.
skin vest, and coat with plaids as broad and
varied in tints as the milky way, cover bis subst-
tute for head lin which there are as many ten.
antess rooms, as can be found in haunted castle,
or which are tenanted by spirits equally wild,)
with broad-brimmed sombrero and, with mus
tache curled gracefully and sprally upon his up
per lip, and his goattee hanging upon his breast
like the aounting tail Of a cream-colored nag, or
4 "jewel in an Ethiop's ear" snatch his whip,
mount his steed, and looking as fierce as verita-
BILE Mexican, ride anywhere and over any body's
road. The "handsome young man." with q face