Marshall County Democrat. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1855-1859, 1856-02-21
How Jedediah was Sucked in.

is the Squire tu hum?' inquired an
elongated individual yesterday, who push
ed his head into the Recorders office. 1t
being about the dinner hour, none of the
officials happened to be 'tu hum;' but a
couple of cts, who were lounging inside,
invited him in, and inquired his business.
We'll, says he, in a beautiful nasal, my
business amt much, but du tell me which
is the 'Squire?'
He is at dinner, sir answered one of
the pair, but if you have anything very
urgent We will send for him.
We'll. | amt got much in pertickler,'
answered the eastern man, but Jest this
mornin fellar from the jlnin State of Hi
nois, played me one of the alfiredest mean
tricks I've hearn on lately
What was it like?' inquired the listen
er.
We'll it want much like anythin;' says
he, but an all crcatefsuck in. Whe:e is
that 'Squire?' he burst out again, III hev
the mean critter jerked intu Jail ef it costs
me a dollarl'
What did he do?' persisted the ques-
toner.
We'll, 'twan't much Of anythin except
a sell, said he, and then breaking out again,
he exclaimed: oh. Jedediah Dexterl that
anylhin cute as you're allowed to be, shud
be drawed intu sech trade bv waller
lookin, ague shakin, corn raesin sarpint as
that fellar'
Was he a sucker?' inquired the gentle
man.
We'll, he want much else said the af-
fiicted mourner, 'and he fullest grown one
I've seed ately-cuss his picturl'
But you have not told us what his of
fence was, continued the other.
No, said he, Il amt, and what's wus-
Ger derned sight, I'm ashamed tu-all
alton! that | shud been 50 tee;otallv
green! | swow, said he, starting, 4 b'lieve
| won't tell it'll jest let the mean var
mint slide. 1t won't bear tellin ON. Why.
ef they shud hear it down tu Connecticut,
couldn't never show myself at aay futur
thanksgivin in them latltudes-thev' ID hol-
Ter meal at me jest as quick as the'd clap
eyes OH me-.
OH come shouted both listeners, you
are not going TO leave without enlighten-
us, now that You have raised our curiosi-
ty.'
We'll, | guess it won't hurt YOU much
ef you don't hecr it, said he; and he was
about To move, when one of his auditors
informed him that it was absolutely neces-
sary that he should stop and lodge his com
plant, for evidently some wrong had been
committed, and if he kept silcnt anl allow
ed it to pass unpunished he would be con
niving at the evil, and thereby make him
self liable
Is that the law?' inquired the bitten
claimant.
Both listeners signiied the affirmative to
his query.
We'll, / don't want to 90 agin law
much, said Jed, so YOU kin hev the hull
upshot of this in a mint, aud you'll allow
it is nifty mean. \ Illinois fclar this morn
in walked intu my shop, where I'm mar
chindisin alongside on the market, and got
to dickerin some butter with me for groce-
ries and other notions. His pots of the
cows grease were dreadful nice on top,
and tasted like new milk arter spring grass
it Jest tuck me all of heap, and | bar
gained 1Or all the crlllcr nau, anC sol To
sellin him the little fixins in exchange. He
looked so etarnal soft, and sawnyed round
so alfred green, that | didn't once hev a
dreamin of the critter bein tricky; SO the
trade was did up nifty short and he travel
led Well, jest mint sencc turned a
pot eout tn sell customer some, and
swan tn man eff two-thirds on it want an
Ingin meal dumplin!'
A burst of laughter here broke from his
auditors, and as they appeared to keep on
at it, instead of sympahising with Jed, he
raised himself proudly up under his load
of injuries, and moved to the door.
'Ahl ha, ha. hal--Ingn dumplins, all.
han shouted one of the convulsed listeners.
as Jed was retreating.
You needn't take on so, SAYS Jed, for
ef he don't think of his sins when he swal-
lers that tea | sold him, then I'm mistaken
in the yarb It's parfectly awful on mans
bowels specially when he amt used to
it, and amid shout of laughter, Jed dis
appeared, congratulating himself on at least
being even