San Andreas independent., 1856-10-04
Uncle Joe and the sheriff.

Some few months ago the following oc-
currence took place. Uncle Joe kent .
hourishing grocery in the town of N
Perhaps the most profitable branch of his
business was in that class of articles which
not only cheer but inebriate.
OF course Uncle Joe was an uncomnro-
missing opponent to the Maine Law. He
considered it direct infringement of
those glorious privileges for which our
fathers fought, bled and died. However,
Uncle Joe was Law abiding citizen, and
made up his mind to obey the law so long
as it remainedin force-a resolution worthy
of all commentator. Nevertheless, he
had no objection to getting little fun out
of it, if it should prove convenient, and
accordingly laid his plans for trick on
the Sheriff, who, he was aware, would keep
watchful eye upon him, in consequence
of his having been so extensively engaged
in the traffic.
In fact the Sheriff used to drop into
Uncle Joe's store, ostensibly to read the
papers and talk politics with the neighbors,
but Uncle Joe could see as far into a mill
stone as most people, and he knew very
we'll that it was all in the way of business.
Some ten miles off, there lived in soli-
tary house in the woods, a man who had
been frequent customer at Uncle Joe's.
Through his means, he hoped to play his
contemplated trick on the Sheriff Uncle
Joe knew that this man, who had fast
horse, would call on a certain Saturday af-
ternoon to get his supply of groceries for
the week following, and that the Sheriff
would keep his eyes open while he was in
the store. Accordingly he contrived to
see this Benton (the mans name, in pri-
vate few minutes, when they concluded
an arrangement which seemed to promise
good results.
Benton drove up to the door, and en-
tering, asked mysteriously to see Uncle
Joe alone. Meanwhile all his groceries
were sent out and deposited in the wagon.
The Sheriff stood carelessly leaning against
the post, but noting with Argus eyes the
various articles that were put In.
At length Benton came out hurriedly
carrying large gallon kettle, about whose
safety he seemed to be very anxious, and
looking very furtively at the Sheriff. He
Jumped seized the reins, and was about
to drive off, when the Sheriff called to him:
"a moment if you please. Have you
any objection to inform me what are the
contents of that kettle?
why, said Benton, in confused man
ner, what do you want to know forH
His manner convinced the Sheriff that
his suspicious were well founded.
Because, to tell the truth, Mr. Benton,
I have strong suspicious that it is that
which the law declares contraband. As
an officer, it is my duty to ascertain by ex-
animation, unless you tell me what it is.
"A good deal. of fuss about little lamp
oil, said Benton, doggedly.
Lamp-oilp All, we'll see if that's the
case.
So saying, the Sheriff advanced to-
wards the wagon, with the intention of
investigating the matter, when Benton
gave his horse sharp cut, exlaiming:
Cit up, we'll fix 'em yet.
The horse sprang forward, leaving the
baff1ed Sheriff behind
"A horse! horsep he exclaimed,
who'll lend me horseY
you may take mine for S., said a
man whose wagon stood in front Of the
store.
That's exhorbitant,' said the Sheriff
Il don't care, can't let him go for a
cent less.
The Sheriff hesitated a moment, five
dollars was an extravagant price, but he
burned to distinguish himself in the office
to which he had just been appointed; so
waving this, he exclaimed: sPll give
the money! and leaped into the wagon.
The animal which he had in use, tho
not quite equal to Benton's, was an excel
lent one, and he fattered himself he should
eventually come up with him, as he was
still in sight. On they both dashed, at
break-neck pace. Benton ip advance
Whenever they passed = house, the WIN
dows were crowded with spectators, all
thinking, as in 'ne case OF the luckless
John Gilpis, that they ran race
Th,se- -four-fve miles were passed
4es~sr, and still the Sheriff was nearly a
quarter~sf a mile behind He comforted
himself with. the thought that Benton
would make Straight for his own house,
and that there, IF not before he should
This would be full ten miles
the place whence he had
ver, itwas in the exercise
he would doubtless be re-
pressed the feeAng gsteeds
impetuons riders. Seven
and still Benton
e is drawing near
herif feels the inn
him before he had