New Orleans daily crescent. [volume] ([New Orleans, La.]) 1851-1866, 1856-04-14
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s5s.-.a ii. IL ON CRE9GENTA.l .. *

Well friend Laura, you, must say, are &noba very
fervent admrer Of eitier the master passion or what
is usually its consequence natrmony. AT least SO
would judge from your letter to me last Monday.
Your pictures of lovers in general acknowledge Is
very accurate and in measure your ideas as to the
causes OF welded misery are correct But are there
not many among those who are victims, trimmed and
Wreathed yet victims Of sacrifice at Hymens altar,
who have entered there with their eyes wide open to
all tsniseries, rather than lave the term old maid
attached to them?--for & I think there are many
more female than male victims" Have they not said
las the old maid in tlle forest praying for husband
did, when the owl hooted sswhoo, whoo,,' anybody,
Lord soitisa man. Yes, anybody,Arather than be
pointed at as member Of the spinstel asterhood.
And pray why so? g Is it not better to- lie d happy,
plump, peaceful minded old maid, with no care upon
YOU, than faded, withered, troubled wife, who has
haledozen pests around her, tormenting her life OUT
and worse than that selfish lout as Dorothea Of
the Delta, terms them who will never be satisfied let
her slave as she will? rather think itpre1erahe.
But the truth is, we all think las do Of cousin Hal
our intended husband will prove an exception; he
will be a miracle Of kindness, love- fidelity and pa
tience we will prove that there is one happy couple,
who live for each other and for general good not a
the world forgetting and by the world forgot"
Cousin Hal bids me tell you that he never 'conures
up" anything that will initiate against his own wish
es and that he fears you have uprooted by your re-
marks more than he replace in two weeks, OF my
confidence i'll wedlock for you knowwe old maids vino
are contened with our lot, and have seen the folly OF
marriage in others, are rather shy OF the promise to
love, honor and obey-the latter word in particular
To speak canddy and truthfully to you, lido not know
among all my acquaintance-and it is not limited
three happy couple; three couple who if unmarried
and replaced back outside the temple again wouldrc
enter it, at least with their present companions Now
this is sweeping confession own, for one to make
who conte1nplates matrimony herself. But then you
don't know cousin Hal-how worthy of a womans
| love he is
The truth is men and women each expect too much,
aftermarriage, from their consors Seeing each other
previous to the important event buta stated times Or
at least at intervals, they naturally are on their best
behavior: theypleased to be with each oter put the
best foot first the Westernis goes and strive each
to delight the other each to make time pass pleasant
| ly The maiden is always neat and in trim: never
seen with dress awry hairrumpled orsoed clothing;
while the young is always pleasant and careful
any little offensive habit is thrust out OF sight, he Is
never redolent Of tobacco, or guilty OF uncouth Ian
guage; everything seems fair and plausible, and they
enter the agic circle withoutreay knowing anything
more of each other than they had not met times
in their whole lives.
| The young husband naturally expects to find his
! wife the pattern Of neatneas she always presented
previous to marrage-when too often, she thinks as
her .market is made, it is unnecessary to take SO
much pains, and shocks his sense Of cleanliness by
her untidy appearance. The wife looks for the same
devotion to her wishes, and constant attention, pald
ere she had donned her name, and thinks herself
the most abused woman in creation the first evening
she is left alone and so on through the catalogue
And great fondness for the last tcoH3 has wrecked
the domestic happiness of many, and is one OF the
most dangerous sunken rocks in the sea of matrinony
never shall contend for the last word assure you
but when ind:ny Hal prone to think his own opin-
ion best, will giyein. (Seemingy, at least.)
Fanny Fern, who is, or ought to be. good authority
upon the subject, says Let natrimony alone; it is
the hardest way on earth Of getting o living; you
never know when your work is done; you may
scrmp and save twist and turn, dig and delye, and
econoiae and die, and your husband will marry again
and take what you have saved to dress his second
wife with and she II take your portrait for fire
board" And yet what was the use of allof Fanny's
TRADE; it did not keep her from committing matri-
mony for the third time. AssIe says, "there must be
some bewitchment about it''-ior folks seem drawn
into it, will he nil he-justa as am for nstanccbut
then there are few cousin Halls
l have written long list Of wic's duties, and il
you ever enter that blisSful staeproTided you are
not i,l-wilI favor you now with q sight OF them
They are admirably calculated to make domestic
peace, even in an already turbulent household Sec
how fond we all arc of our pet ideas.
You speak of love of display, love Of self, etc
There you degrade the word; you mean vanity and
selfesteem or egotism. Love should not be used in
conjunction with those traits for it is entirely different
The rightly regulated mind will more selfgratit
cation in the passion of your imagined Angelica anC
Adolphus than true love for love teaches us to be
sacrificing, selfforgetful love makes us mild anG
gentle, yielding and compliant, while it also can MAXI
us stern and determined when necessary
We see many things termed love whichare but pro
anatons Of the name-passon, whinl, caprice all IL
turn assume the merry archeT's garb and wings-but
their plnmes like the davis borrowed feathers, arr
easily pucked off, leaving exposed the deception
There is pseudo passion termed Platone lorc, thai
one had better beware Of lest dabbng in its shining
ripple, they get beyond their DEPTH .5
For comfort and happiness in matrmony there
should be no Secrets and the husband should plainly
state to his wife what his income what he aort
and what not; he should also place confidence III he
capacity to manage her household rightly; be sholt
not necessitate her to to him for money needed
| to lefray her own and the household expenses, bu
place in her hands, weekly or monthly, what none
he can spare her and thus her the modification
of asking. Few women can hearth idea Of asking
for every dime they require, and how many men,
their wife ask for fifty cents, demand, "what do yo
want with it?' The wife should be able to show
clear bill of all expenses, if necessary to do 50, an
have no petty subterfuge wherewth to deceive him.
% Yousee, friend Laura, that my ideas of the mair
springs of connubal felicity aresyery commonplace
yetmethinks were they fully carried out Hymens ten
/ pie would have many votaries who now shrink j
dread, and say Hymen should be painted, Janus-lik
with two faces, one Of mrth, (tle honey-moonD al
one of gloom and frowns marriage, after the novelt
o hath worn of) In conclusion, Twill refer you to IL
" anecdote of Teniers painting of the God of mariag
which looked charming at a distance and when We've
l. closely, stern sombre, cold and harsh. He W;
g twice married, and his representations should be a
, curate.
You see what effect your letter has had, rousing
all my old antipathes to that bssful state, and cous
:, Hal will have talking enough to give him the bro
chtis, to renew my confidence in the truth Of mai
and the unquestionaMe bliss of wedlock.
Ever yours, faithfully; be you one of the spinste