The Abbeville banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1847-1869, 1856-06-05
sOLILOQUY OF A LOAFER.

Pm laying on. How'd get here? Yes, l
mind now. Was coming up street-met n
wheelbarrow-was drunk, comm tolhcr
way, the whcelbarow fell over ne, or ]
over the wheelbarrow, and one of us fell
! into the ccIlar-don't know which now
guess it must ha' been NO. I'm a nice
young man, yes am-tight! tore drunk |:
Well, l can't help it-'taint my fault
wonder whose fault it's? Is it Jones' fault
No. Is it my wifc's fault ?-WelI, it amt.
Is it the wheclbarrow's fault? No. It's
wh1sky's fault. Who is whiskys Has he
large family? All poor, | reckon.
think wont own him any more. III cut
his acquaintance. Tyc had that notion for
about ten years, and always hate to do it
for | fear of hurting his feelings. I'll do it
now-I think liquors injurin' mc--it's
spoiin' my temper.
Sometimes get mad, when I'm drunk,
and abuse Bets and the brats; it used TO be
Lizzie and the clilLren-tlla.'s some time
ago. I'd come home o evenn's, she used
to put her arms round my neck and kiss
Inc, and call me her dear William. When
comes home now, she takes her pipe out
OF her mouth, and says somcthin' like
"Bill, you drunken brute, shut the door af-
ter you; we're cold enough, havin' no fire,
'thout lcttin' the Show blow in that wav.'
Yes, she's Bets and I'm Bill, now. | sin't
a good bill, nutllcr; think Tn a counter
felt, won't pass-a tavern without goi' in
and yctlin' drunk. Don't know What bank
fin Oil. Last Saturday l WIS OH the livcl
banll-drunk.
stay out pretty late; no, somtimcs I'm
out all night; fact is, I'm out pretty much
all ovcr-out Of friends, ou. at pocket. Out
at the elbows and knees, and always out
rageousIy dirty-so Bets says; but then
she's no Judge, for she's never clean herself
wonder why she doscn't wear good
clothes; may be she hasn't got 'em whose
faults that ?-'tain't minc-must Lc wills.
ky's.
Sometimes I'm in, however; I'm intoxi.
Gated now, an! in somebody's coal cellar
There's one principle I've got-I won't &C,
IN debt; l never could do it. There, one
Of my coat tails is gonc-got tore off, ex.
pect, when fell in here I'll have to ne,
q new suit soon. a fellow told me, to;he,
day, that I'd make good sign for papc,
mill. If he wasn't so lig, I'll kick him
I've had this shirt on for nine days, an I'm
afraid it won't come OIL without tcarin'
People ought to respect ME morc'n they do
for I'm in holy orders. l amt u dandy
though my clothes are pretty near Grease
ian style. guess tore this window shuttle,
IN my pants tother night, when sat dow,
on tho wax in Ben Riggs shop; I'll have
to get it mended, or-l'Il catch cold
amt very stout, AS it is. As tho boys say
I'm rs tat as match and as healthy as the
small pox. My 1est hat has been standing
guard for window pane that went on,
tother morning at the invitation of a brick.
bat. It's getliu' cold down here; wonde,
If L amt able to climb. If l had drink
l could thing better. Let's see; amt got
thrce cents; if l was III tavern could
sponge one. Whenever anybody treats
and says "come sellers," always think my
names fellcrs," and I've got too gooJ
manners to refuse. Well, l must leave
this, or they'll arrest me for IN attempt a,
burglary. ain't come to that yet. ANY
how it WIS the whce!Larrow did the Lar,l
HOT me.