Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1856-02-27
MISCE LII A N Y.
~~~~OO-~o-~OeNN0N~~0~~o~oON~U-~~
From the "Vido,o Bedou Papers. .
An Unexpected Proposal OF Marriage

AnUnexpected Proposal OF Marriage
MIR. Crane-.'Well, wdder, Pve been think
ing about taking another companiou-and
thought I'de ask you--="
Widow--.'Oh, Mr.. Crane, excuse my commo
ton, is so unexpected Jest hand me that are
bottle o. cam6re off the mentletry shelt-Pm ruth
er faint-dew put little mite on my haudker
chief and hold it to my nuz There, that'll dew
PIN obliged tew ye-now Pm rulier more
composed you may proceed. Mr.. Crane.
MIR. Crane -"Well. widder. was agoing to
ask you -whether-"
Widow" Contipner, Mr.. Crane. dew / know
it's lurrible embarassin'. remember when my
deceased husband made his suppostion to me. he
sammerred aud suffered aud was so awfully
fustered it did seem as If he'd never git out in
this world, aud | 'spose lis generally the case,-
at least it has been with all them's made suppo-
sitions to me-you see they're ginerally concert
ing about what kind of an answer they're agwlne
to gt, and it kind o makes 'em narvous. But
when an individual has reason to s'pose his at
tachments recprooated, ! don't see what need
there is o. bein' fluslrated-though must say
i'ls quite embarrassin' 10 me-pray continue"
Mr. C.-"Well, then, want TO know if you're
willing I should have Me!issy 2"
Widow he dragon 90
Mr.. C.-"I haiut said nothing to her about il
yet-thought the proper way was to get YOU
consent first. ! remember when ! courted Try
pheny we were engaged sometime before mother
Kenipe knew anything about it, and when she
found it out she Was quite put out because dld'n,
go to her first. So when | made up my mind
shout Melissy, thinks me, I'll dew it right this
time. aud speak to the old woman first"
Wldow-"Old woman, hey that's purity
name to call me-amazn' perlite tew Wan,
Melissy, hey tribleatlun! gracious snakes alive
well, rll give it up now ! always know'd you
was simpeton Tim Crane, but must cpnfess
didn't think you was quite SO big a iool-wan1
Melissy, dew ye? If that don't beat ALL What
an everasin' old calf you must be to spo'se she'd
look a, you. Why, you're old enough to be heI
father, and more tew-Melissy amt only in heI
twenty oneh year. What redicklous idee fur q
man of your age? as grey as rat lew! won
der what this world is coming tew 'tis astonlsh
in what fouls old wdowers will make O. them
selves! Have Melissy! Melissy!"
Mr. C.-"Why widder, you surprise me-Id
M idee of beiug treated in this way after you'd
been SO polite TO me and made such fuss over
me aud the girls"
Widcw-''Shet yer head, Tin Crane-nun o.
yer sass to me. There's yer hat on that are ia
BILE and here's the door, and the sooner you put
On one and march out % t'uther the better it'll be
for you. And advise you aiore you try to get
married agin, to 90 out west and sect yer wite's
culd-and arier we're satisfied on that pint, just
put little auiphlack on yer hair 'rwould add to
yer appearance undoubtedly, and be Of sarvico lew
YOU when you waat to flourish round among the
gals and when ye've -,t yer hair ixt. jest splln-
ter the spine oyer bacl;,t wouldn't ,cr' yer
Looks mite-you'd be entirely unresistable il yoa
was leete grain strater." H.
Mr.. C.-"Wel, nsyeri"
Widow-''Hold yer tongue. you consarned old
coot you tell ye there's yer hat ard there's the
door-be off with yerself, quick metre, or III give
you hyst with the broom stickl !"
Mr., C-Glpmeni
Widow, rising-"G Git out say I amt agwne
to stan here aud be nsulted under my own ruff
and so git along and il you ever darken my door
agin, or say word to Melissey. it'll be woss ior
you-that's ALL"
Mr.. C.-"Tremeudons What buser
Widow.-"Go long. 20 long, you everlasii' old
rum won't hear another word (stops her ears.
/ won't, won't, won't.-Exit Mr.. Crane.