Marshall County Democrat. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1855-1859, 1856-05-15
PETER DONE BROWN.


Our readers may be aware that one o
the many tricks of Peter Funk consists IL
putting up genuine and really valuable
gold watch, which af.er being knocked
down, is dextrously exchanged for worth
less article, upon some frivolous pretence
However sharp Peter may be in general
ily of cases, sometimes gets bit most vii
lainously at his own game, as an instance
oflate occurrence will clearly demonstrate.
Nevertheless, Peter is SO modest that when
he comes out of the little end of the horn,
he maintains digriied and perpetual 81
lcnce OH the subjec,.
Hans Peterskin, 4 Pennsylvania Dutch
man, one of those phlegmatic natives OF
America, who, born in ignorance of the
English tongue, acquire 1t never unadult-
Grated was recently ona visit to see York.
He had heard of Tamany Hall, and put up
at that noted hos.elry, which is unhappily
surrounded by perfect array of mock
auctioneers. Hans in his native State was
considered somewhat of shrewd specula-
tor, having commenced business as ped
dler of Yankee notions, followed cattle
breeding for a living and finally ended off
an inventor of mining stock. The sale for
this last profitable article, hypothecated up
on the discovery of a copper vein running
through his paternal farm, called him to
this city where he astonished the Wall st.
dealers by the oddly of his costume and
the verdancy of his remarks upon matters
and things.
Hans was trudging along Chatham St,
his eyes wide open and his ears distended,
swinging the extremity of his long tailed
blue after the manner of pendulum when
pathetic appeal broke upon his ears from
the direction of mock auction establish
ment being an unlimited invitation to man
kind to avail themselves Of the ridiculous
sacrifices then taking place with regard to
valuable gold watches. Now, watch APP
peared to be an article of luxury Hans had
long promised himself, and thus thought
to avail himself of the golden opportunity
for purchase of the coveted article.
As Hans entered the establishment the
bidding became more and more exciting
and the reserved corps of Peter Funks
closed around the verdant looking specu-
la,ive miner.
This here valuable watch made by To-
bias, really worth sixty dollars, goin' 4
goin' at ten--ten dollars
The auctioneer smiled complacently up
on Hans ard handed him the 'decoy' watch.
The Pennsylvania examined it infinitely,
and possessing some knowledge of the ira
ding value of jewelry. concluded he might
venture on bid; SO, still holding on to
the watch under pretense of a farther ex
animation of its movements, he ventured
an eleven
After several apparent demurrers, the
watch was finally knocked down to Hans
for twelve dollars which the Dutchman
promptly paid and transferred the watch
to his pocket.
This unanticipated movement, as the
'decoy, was in reali Y worth some twenty
dollars wholesale, somewhat discomposed
the serenity of Funk's countenance; so he
disinterestedly whispered to tho Pennsyl-
vanian:
just leave that watch and we will clean
it for YOU
Thank zee quoth Hans, she will 90
very well as she IS.
But it has our private mark upon it.
Well TRANQUILITY rctortcd Hans, as
don't know what it is, it wont do no harm
to nobody
Finding those lodges unequal to the
task Of making the couutryman disgorge,
SO that galvanized article could be sub
stituted in its stead, one of the employees
of the shop advanced confdentially to the
troublesome customer.
Il say, friend he whispered, make
that nam give YOU new watch; that you
bought is brass-I am matchmaker
'Yes' rejoincd Hans, Il saw YOU work
ing at the trade in Mayoming prison.
Sale closed TIL two o'clock! angrily e.
jaculated the auctioneer, finding himself
thoroughly victimized.
'Thankee,' quoth Hans, and if you've
got any more twenty dollar watches to sell
for eleyen-you'il find NE on handy.