The Ashland union. [volume] (Ashland, Ashland County, Ohio) 1854-1868, 1856-09-17

ing manful service in the lower suberbs
began to fail, and sent for a reinforce
ment, whereupon the right hand, afte'
hitting the upper chord Of G sharp a fu
rlous dig to keep it quiet in the interval
scampered to the rescue, only stopping
by the way to bestow upon the middl,
U a couple of punches by way of a re
minder-then the player with boil
hands, both feet, and his knees, went a
the poor instrument and belabored hin
so numerically in the lower pipes, tina
he lost his wind, and cried" enough
in a roar of agony.
This was the prelude.
Then the singing commenced; the op
era folks stood up to earn their money
they sang as if the musical scale hac
been CREASED on this occasion, and the,
were elm bing for a pig on the top of it
they would go up a note or two, and theI
slip blackjack one went one notch high
er than the one before him, but fell bacl
before he reached the prize, and his voice
subsidized into a discontented growl loa
down in his ribs. At last, after five
trials, each one of which ended in an at.
tenuated squeak; one female, with g
mouth like a hatch-way, loosened hel
bonnet strings, made a desperate scream,
and went SO high that she finally got a
firm hold of the oleagiuous reward of mer.
it, and bore it off in triumph-then they
all stopped.
This was the singing.
Then the muscular man came out of
the bowels, with the perspiration drip
ping from his coat tails-as he hadn't an
other suit handy, he sat down in the
draught to dry.
This was the finale.
Here the minist r read a number of
gratis advertisements for concerts and
twenty-five cent pic nics-then there
was another single-handed combat be-
tween the orgauist and and his old ene-
my, and some more creased pig vocali-
cation by the thousand dollar choir, af-
ter which, the "Star" preacher began
to perform in earnest-he read q text,
and stuck to the subject for fifteen min
utes giving his hearers "fts" about
their shortcomings when the plate is
passed-then he gave a glowing descrip-
tion of the joys of Paradise, and by his
eloquent words had got US IS far into the
SpIElI lduQ Ludb We COulu dliuOSG ASdI
the departed spirits blow their noses,
when suddenly he cut short his high
flown piety, and began to talk politics
and general news-he spoke of the state
of the stock markets, gave a notice of
the new patent ballot box, a review of
the encouraging prospects of Fremont,
the value of Sharp;s rifles, and the re-
tail price of Schiedam Schnapps. j hen
he gave, with great gusto, Il delightful
account of some imaginary pleasant
transactious in Kansas wherein a couple
of men were roasted alive in q burning
Iog.cabin, while their wives were ON
pvlIed to superinteud tie cookery. Then
he made some very good jokes, at which
the people laughed then he said some
thing about the Union" which they
applauded /; | should have supposed my
self il a ratification meeting, if The men
hadn't all their hats off, aud there hadn't
been so many womep that their bonEets
looked like a cherry orchards )on he
put in a wurd about BUCCANEERS aud
: Black Republ:cans,''-I thought then
| was i'll q political meeting, sure, and
ex pectcd every minute to hear No. SIS
boys come da8n with three times three
and Il tiger " fer " Buck and Breck."
After tbs he grew more frantic about
= bleeding Kansas" and talked So ear
Mostly abrIt ShaFp's rihes, that | con-
he had an agency aud got a per
;cutogc on all he sold; he dsda't make
remarks about SchnapPs, aud l
see any bottles, though | suppose
must have been a sample handy. |
lie had now got his ministerial steam al
up TO exploding poiLt, aid ravcd
'eu1d his little platform as If he was
AID wanted to get at somebody.
mixed up things; christian love and
Dicty, Fremont republican PRINCIPLES,
.5unPowder as 4 mora. agent, and med
Gated sin as a means Of grace. niggerz,
;lave whips, charity, brotherly affection,
underground railroads. disuuion, flowers,
little childIe ell, voting, ballot-boxes,
White House, President and
Know Nothirgs, ending up with a loud
,xortation for free speech, free soil, and
Fremont, " til a s.rong hint that he want
ID them to contribute pretty literally
ghen the deacon came round with the
as the money was needed to cir
republican documents i'll Penn
and New Jersey.
This vas the preaching.
Then he took a two minutes rest, and
made a prayer containing a summary of
he political news for til week-then he
on his oEercoat and disappeared
the trap-doGr.
The organist played the people out
nth a grand march, in which a trumpet
olo was very conspicuous, and added q
ew dancing tunes by way of keeping the
school children quiet.
I went home, trying to mentally di-
.est the politico religious hash l had
to, and endeavored to decide
whether there was too much politics for
he piety, or too little piety for 'he poll.
les. Came to the conclusion that, if a
Minister wants to make a business of
l~eclioneering, he ought to stump the
for his favorite candidates and
barge his expenses to the Central Com
3~houghtfully,
K. PHILANDER DoEsTIcKs, p. 3.
GARRIsoN AND Mrs. FOSTER CLAIM