Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1856-08-21
HOW TO MEET A DUELLIST.

W e nave Always TcSa[ueu Vic PiaCIice vi
duelling as n relic of the barbarous ages-a
custom which is sanctioned neither by the
laws of religion or of reason, and which
should be condemned by every moral, sober
judging man. OF courage the duel is no
criterion; oftentimes it happens that the pro-
fessed duelist, when called upon to meet
death or dangers in any unwonted shape, is
the first to turn his back and flee.
A few years since as a New England gen
tleman, whose name we shall call Brown, was
passing few days at hotel in one of our
western cities, he had the misfortune to un-
Intentionally offend the susceptible honor of
a tall Indiana colonel who was one of his
fellow boarders. His apologies not being
satisfactory, a challenge was sent him, which,
however, he declined, upon the ground of
conscientious scruples. The colonel, who,
by the way, had won in two or three encoun-
tiers, quite reputation as duellist, at once
conceived the idea that his opponent was a
coward, and resolved to disgrace him by fog
sins him in the face of all the assembled
wisdom of the house. Accordingly, the next
day, at dinner time, in marched the duellist,
armed with a formidable cowhide, and ad-
vancing to Browns chair, proceeded to dust
his jacket for him in the most approved style.
Brown was astonishcd. Luckily he had been
q lieutenant of militia in his native State,
and knew the importance of incommoding
his enemy by diversion. So, seizing
gravy tureen, he tossed the contents into the
face of his belligerent colonel and before
that hero could recover from the drowning
sensation thus occasioned, he sprang upon
the table and began to shower upon him with
a liberal hand, the contents Of the dishes
around.
you are an INTERNAL
Coward the colonel was about to say,
but at that moment plate of greens struck
full upon his mouth, and the word was block
AIDED and lost forever
'Hav cried the little New Englander,
whose blood was now up, fond Of greens,
are you? Take potatoe too and he hurled
telling volley of hard potatoes at him; Eek
cellent eggs here; capital things with calves
head; and crash came plate of soft boiled
eggs, against the side of his Uranium.
The blows of the cowhide which had
hitherto descended upon the Yankees head
and shoulders, now began to fall more weak
ly and wildly aud it became evident that the
assaiant half stunned, choked and partially
blinded, was getting the worst of it. His
courage was rapidly oozing out.
Take turkey shouted Brown, as no.
Bile old gobler descended fairly upon the
colonels head, and bursting, filled his hair
and eyes with delicious looking stuhing; 'and
here's the tixings, he continued as the squash
and jelly followed after
BY this time the colonel was irretrievably
defeated, and his merciless opponent seized
huge plum pudding, steaming hot, and
holding it above his head with both hands
seemed about to bury him beneath it, he
quailed in terror, and throwing down his
cowhide turned about and made rush for
the door.
Stop for the pudding, colonel stop for
the pudding shouted Brown. Pudding,
colonel, pudding screamed all his fellow
boarders amid convulsions of laughter. But
the colonel was too terrified to listen to their
kind invitations, and did not cease running
until he had locked himself into his room
But although the colonel escaped from the
plum pudding, he could not escape from the
ridicule which the affair occasioned. He
subsequently challenged four persons against
whom his ire was particularly excited, and
they all consented to fight, but availing them
selves of the privilege of the challenged
party, appointed pudding bags for their
weapons. At length the unhappy duellist
finding no one who was willing to shoot or
be shot at, was obliged to quit the State.
TOO ANyTorTs pv HATE