The Evansville daily journal. [volume] (Evansville, Ia. [i.e. Ind.]) 1848-1862, 1856-04-25
Birth of an American Prince.


PROGRAMME OF THE CEREMONIAL TO BE OBJ
SERVED ON THE BIRTH OF A CHILD TO Mr..
DIGGs, ONE OF THE rSovEREIGNs OF
AMERICA.
We publish the following account of the
proceedings Of the birth of an American Sow
ereign. 1t is one of the best things of the
season, and the Philadelphia Bulletin is res
ponsble for it: 4-t 1,sy..Ft .r...- .-
When Mrs. Diggs begins to feel that the
long-expecte,l time has at last arrived, she will
wake Digg; from the sound sleep he will be
enjoying, and on his asking, what is the mat
ter p he will be informed by Mrs. Diggs. As
soon as Diggs can hastily get on his panta-
loons boots and coat, be shall take the orders
of Mrs. Diggs and go Immediately for the
Nurse, the Grand Mistress of Diggs' house
hold. and after escorting the Gaand Mistress
to his door, he shall inform the family physi-
clan, who shall Immediately repair to the
Diggs Castle Diggs shall also convey the in
formation of what is transpiring to all who
hold rank in his household. His mother-in-
| law-she shall appear in whatever clothes she
can find handy, the state of her nerves, on
learning the facts, Icing in such condition as
to prevent an elaborate toilet. On arriving at
the Diggs Castle, she shall eXclaim, "Ah my
poor, dear Emily and look at Diggs, as
| if she thought him the worst of criminals
Diggs, on receiving this look in silence, shall
cause the head cook and the Maid Of the Bed
chambers to be called, and be in waiting in an
ante room for whatever orders the Grand Mis-
tress of the Household may send them. Diggs
is expected to faithfully execute all these or
ders in not less than ten minutes, and when
they are accomplished, Diggs is at liberty to
TO 70 &c MI fhayo
await further orders from the Grand Mistress
of the Household. In the meanwhile his ner-
yous system may require little weak toddy,
and in the intervals of propping his nerves,
Diggs shall frequently declare that he wishes
the thing was all over ~ -3d r.9sasos
In the chamber of Mrs. Diggs there shall
only be the physician, the Grand Mistress o.
the Household and the mother-in-l law. The
latter distinguished parsonage, before many
days, will make an effort to out rank the
Grand Mistress Of the Household, and in the
tits which ensue consequent upon this effort
Diggs is expected to take both sides and carry
water on both shoulders. The cook shall re
tire to the Kitchen stir up her tire, and hold
j herself ready. for any service needed. The
II Maid ofthe Bed Chambers shall assemble her
selfany whe within calling distance from the
door of Mrs. Diggs' apartment, and when the
orders and tells her not to be all day about it,
I she Shall obey them. -s
At the moment at which the last pains
shall be felt, Diggs shall be informed that it is
nearly all over. Diggs will put more questions
$ than can be answered, and he will be told tC
wait little while longer. that his dear Emily
lis bearing up wonderfully, and frequently
Ecalls upon her dear Tommy. Thomas DiggS
d shall sigh, and wish it was all over again.
: In the morning when the roonleis put to
riobts. Digos shall be called to Mrs Digys
Ianartmepts. and the child shall be presented
TO him bv the Grand Mistress of the House
hold. and Diggs shall examine it first with
profound astohishment, and then assuming
more iovial air shall touch its little cheek anC
call it, 'the dear wceny beeny, little thingH
4 Diggs shall then kiss his dear Emily about on
Z dozen times and express much sympathy 10
: her suferings. Mrs. Diggs will then give hin
distinctly to understand that that child IS tn
n last, and that men have no idea OF the suffer
tings of poor women. The child's name hay
J. ing been long fixed, Diggs shall then procee
to the parlor and taking down the tamil
bible shall make minute (proces oerbaD of tn
5; birth of the child, in accordance with the Ion
established usages of the American soYereigas
$ Soon after daylight, the aunts and cousins
es and all the relations that are recognized by tn
family, including all the relations of the motl
s. er-in-law, shall call at the house, and be INFO
med of all the particulars by the mother-lr
: law. The cook and Maid fthe Bed-chambel
or will convey the intelligence over the bach
ward fence to the cook and maid OF the oeo
ay chambers next door. aud they Will convey
to the cook and maids of the bed chamoers
= the second yard, so that every family IN u
he block shall receive Intelligence OF the Joyi'
e event by breakfast time. ,e..,
mt Diggs will then take his breakfast wlthol
.i, 81 orum6ling about the cookery, and proceed
: hi his place Of business, By this manner Dig
,nt aa will indicate to his fellow soYereigns wheth
in tbe child is boy or girl. If it is a bo
.Ss q; Diggs will be unusually lively-he will wa
,i ths 1p;eb a spring-his face will be covered wi