The Evansville daily journal. [volume] (Evansville, Ia. [i.e. Ind.]) 1848-1862, 1856-02-09
MR.. CALKINs' BABY.
By ALiQUiS.
C II A P T ER l |.
CCoNoLUDED.l

Mara, are you craZy!
eyes | believe l am, or shall be soon, YOU
monster; as if it wasn't enough to do such
deeds, without bringing me proof of them. y
dear, wish had never been born!'
''FOr Gods sake explain yourself, Maria, y
exclaimed Mr.. CLlkins, rather alarmed at see
ing his vie in such state. .-..-
''For really" continued he, 81 don't under
stand it."
30 no Of course not. You didn't tell me
had better dress it to-night?'' 81
Yes, to be sure did; thought you would
not have time tomorrow, because it would
take SO long to cook it"
"Cook it, Heavens Mr.. Calkins, are you a
cannibal, 200? Cook it!' z-la's - q ea
TO be sure we'll cook it. Do you think l
can eat it raw?'
20, Mr.. Calkins, never thought it of you.'
Maria, are you crazy?" cried Mr.. Calkins,
jumping up and crossing over to where his
wife was seated.
Don't come near me, you monster, you vii
lam, you Hotter tot,'' cried she, springng from
him. ,. -.-...t -r.-.- "a. .....-,
For few moment, Mr.. Calkins stood gaz-
ing at his wife in silent amazement He knew
not what to think of such storm, and such
words she had uttered He eendeavored to call
to mind some misdeed of which he had been
guilty-which wonld produce such tempest,
but with the exception of having stopped out
the preceding night until the small hours, he
was unable to recollect any act which nj .5ht
be called the cause. At first he had been
rather alarmed for her sanity, but now he was
getting rather angry, for being kept so long in
the dark in regard to the action of which he
had been guilty; finally he said,
when you get slightly calm, Mrs. Calkins,
should be extremely happy to hear of what
am accused, provided you would accord to
me that humble privilege" 1 sta
81 never was calmer in my life,'' replied
Mrs. Calkins 'but to have you bring such a
thing to me, and then to say what you did
about it, and to talk of cooking it, is enough to
make anybody shudder." t.@
Il think, Maria," said Mr.. Calkins, ''that
the proper way would have been to have told
me of it, and not burst forth so furiously, with
out giving me the reason. If it is bad one
j JudkinS, the butcher, is to blame, and not m
SELF for | ordered the largest and fattest he
could get" i-f
"And does Judkins sell them?'' cried Mrs.
Calkins, opening her eyes with horror.
''To be sure he does.''
"But where does he get them?" said she,
partly forgetting her disgust, in her curiosity
to hear more of the su6jec'.
80, he buys them of the farmers who raise
them" ar-a
"Then it does not belong to you Christie
pher, say that it does not! [ thought when l
looked at it that it did not look like you, but
why did you bring it homei And then to talk
about cooking i'll O! Christopher, know you
were only joking" exclaimed Mrs. Calkins,
throwing her arms around her husbands
neck.
Joking! Not bit of it," replied Mr.
Calkins, 81 meant to have it cooked, for you
wouldn't have me eat it raw; but as for its
looking like me, why, fatter myself that no
goose which was ever Matched bears very
striking resemblance to myself and Mr. Cal
kins laughed aloud at the idea, kissed his wife
and exclaimed, ''come, Maria we'll go and look
at the animal. To think that goose should
cause me such a scoiding."
"3ut it isn't "a"
Mr.. Calkns stopped his wife's mouth with
a kiss, and hurried her into the kitchen
Going to the basket, he opened it and look
ed in.
"r hunder." he exclaimed. when he saw the
contents. Plunging 10th his hands to the bot
tom of his pockets, he blew long whistle,
then turning to his wife he said:
"Maria, where did that come from?''
"WLy, d'nt yoI tell me you bought it
from the Dutcher's?ps rs-
"Not /" sald Mr.. Calkins.. 81 fell over it
as was coming into the house, and supposng
that it was the goose which ordered of Jud
k ms this morning. and that he was in hurry
wlen he a sed and so just e inside the G tie,
took it up and broughtitin, and though you
were scoldlng teeause it was not good one,
when you called me all those hard names, be-
cause wanted it cooked.'
CO. Christopher, do not wond ,r that You
were angry with me- said Mrs Calkins.
Nor that you thought me wretch" re-
piled he
aBut whose do you suppose it IS and what
shall we do with it y said Maria -----------