The Ashland union. [volume] (Ashland, Ashland County, Ohio) 1854-1868, 1856-03-05
THE DEAF AUNT AND DEAF WIFE.

THE DEAF AUNT AND DEAF WIFE
Ihad an aunt coming to visit me for the
FIRST time since my marriage, and don't
know what evil genius prompted the
wickedness I perpetrated towards my
wife and my ancient relative.
"My DEAR" said I to my wife on the
day before my aunt's arrival, you know
Aunt Mary is coming tomorrow; well,
forgot to mention rather annoying
circumstance with regari to her. She
is very deaf; and although she can hear
my voice, to which she is accustomed, in
its ordinary tones, yet you will be obliged
to sneak extremely loud in order to be
heard It will be rather disagreeable,
but I know you will do any thing in
you power to make her stay pleasant. F"
Mrs. S. announced her determination
to make herselfheard if possible.
l went to john r, who loves a
joke about as we'll as any body I know
Of. Of, aud tufd hit,a-toI boat the house at
6 P. NJ, on the following evening.
went to the depot next night with a
carriage, and when was on the way
home with my aunt, I said
My dear aunt, there is one rather
ammo, ing in6rmity which Anna tmy
wife) has, which forgot to mention be-
FORE She is very deaf; and although
she can hear my voice, to which she is
accustomed, in its ordinary tones, yet
you will be obliged TO speak extremely
loud in crdcr to be heard. 1 am very
sorry for it."
: unit Mary in the goodness of her
heart protested that she rather liked
speaking loud; and to do SO would afford
her great pleasure.
The carriage drove upon to the
steps was the wife-in the window was
John T, with a face as utterly So
lemu as if he had buried all his rela-
t:ves that afternoon.
I handed my aunt out-she assembled
the steps.
"I am delighted to see you' shriek-
ed my wife, and the policeman on the
opposite sidewalk started, and my aunt
nearly fell down the stoop.
Kiss me, my DEAR" howled my aunt,
and the hall lamp clattered, and the
windows shook as with fever and ague.
looked at the window-John had dis
appeared. Human nature could stand
it no longer, 1 stuck my head in the car
riage, and went into strong conyulsions.
When I entered the parlor, my wife
was helping aunt Mary to take off her
hat and cape and there sat John with
his sober face.
Suddenly, '.did you have pleasant
journey?' went my wife like pistol,
and John T nearly jumped to his
feet.
Rather dusty" was the response, in
a war whoop, and SO the conversation
continued.
The neighhors for blocks around must
have heard it when was IN the third
story of the building heard every word.
In the course of the evening my aunt
took occasion to say to me-
How loud your wife speaks, does it
not hurt her."
told her all deaf fpersons talked loud
ly, and that my wife being used to it,
was not affected by the exertion, and
that my aunt Mary was getting along
very nicely with her.
Presently my wife said, softly
"Alf, how very loud your aunt talks
"Yes,n said I, :. oil deaf persons do.
You are getting along with her finely
she hears every word Jon say" And ]
rather think she did.
Elated by their success at being m
derstood, they went at it hammer and
tongs; till every thing on the mantel'
piece clattered again, and was serious
ly afraid of crowd collecting in front o.
the house.
But the end was near. My aunt be
ing of an investigating turn Of mind, wal
desirous of finding out whether the ex
ertion of talking SO loud was not ipjuri
ous to my wife, So--
| Deesnt talking % loud strain you