Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1856-02-28
VARIETY.

V9rA city eatfof. Who - bachelor, hav-
log said IN his last issue that he really wish
cd he bad sen 90 that he could dress him
up in the fashion, was called upon the next
day by his adorable, to whom he had been
paying his attentions for the last two years,
and asked IL he really said that
'Certainly did, my dear
well, Billy said she, why don't you
make arrangements for one7
Our friend says il was the FIRST time he
was ever corncred. lie was 50 mortified be
went right away TO the parson.
A MEG BEprEtLow wall, stranger,
raid hacssooismau. TO q man whom the
landlord Of the hotel both we're stopping NJ
had detained to sleep with Lim-.wali
stranger, We no objection 10 your sleeping
with me, none ia the least, bat il seems to
me the beds rather narrow Tor you 60 sleep
comfortable, considering how / dream -
You see am an old trappcr, and generally
dream Of shootiS' and scslpin. Injups =
Where I stopped night afore last, thy char
ged me five dollars extra, cause happened
TO whittle up the heal board in the night
Bot you can come, stranger. il you like l
feel kinder peaeeable now,
n-.Bs my sowi, says Pat, pickiag them
mp aud examining them, that's qusre scis-
slvs +
Scissors . Mahoncy.' responded his com.
panion sure that's no scissors; that's What
thew call savgsrS'
'Sauf.rs-for what's tbatr
Sure flr suufihg the candle
90 600 -on, says Pat Il have il now
and suitiog the action 10 the word he forth
with pulled tho .rnf from the candle with
his fnsers. deposited 10 ia the box shutting
tbo sAufsrs Together. exclaimed with won.
per staring eyes, lie my sovl, but it's EG,t
isr,nftoH. isn't itF
U-A country school master had two pr-
pills. 20 ose Of whom he was very partial and
TO the other very severe. Oue morning IL
happsoei that tLess boys vere vary late. and
were called IN IN account for il 'You must
have heard the bell, boys Why dill you
e,meT Please sir, said the fsvorite, Il was
dreaming | was going 20 Csiforny, and
tboaght the school bell was tie stsImboat I
was going in Very we'll sir said the mas
ter, glad Of . pre,ex, TO excuse lis favor.
lie; and uoz, sir turbing TO the other
.xhat have you. 10 say q Please. sir, said
the paztIed boy, IL ,ra' a rattng 10 Sc
Tom EFT
III Boss, I want twenty Eve cents sail
Q jour printer to his emp,nyer.
'TsoDty ave eentSi Hos soon 90 yoa
want IL jake p ---.-.-...
Next Tucslly'
'As soon as tA=ii You can't have IL. I
toll yoa 81 often that when you are 10 want
Of so large . sun Of money, you must give
at least four Weois notice
STRsNG BCTTga --Govsrnor Diaper, Of
New York. Il i. ssid, vas dining the other
day at CongressIIsll, in Albany, where the
batter hs7pHasi to bs particularly rank -
Here. John' said Draper Go fsvorite val.
Ter Who was standing behind him -'Josa.
take this plate away sonc people ike their
batter stronger than oihers'
John took the plate held il up 10 Bis
nose . moment wi'h the air Of . eonboisseur,
then pa; it back again 10 IT, place. ssd ob
served in firm yo,ce-'Mistksr Draper,
that is the srosgest butter We have 10 The
house
nrA LADY, walking with her husband,
enqu,red of him the difference betEsaB *.
poFtaiioa and trsasporiatIoB Why my
dear replied be, 10 sou we're on board yon
der vessel. you would be e1postej, and I
should b. tFaasp,rtod
EFThe othsr day our little toy cav a
'e,iosel lady IN the heasc f,F tho kyst timc.
sftsr contemplating she strange phenomenon
momaot, With 81 little hsbAs bchind bin.
he ssat ~ u her, aud looking intS her face
oxolaiAod witb q eDuotesaaos adssofibsble.
Way hoe diS'y y0s az, I'D
uTKaiskerbocks' CLARK isll. abs snee.
dots ia his 'EIitoS's Drawer, 10 HsrpeIs
The pos, L,ngfellsw. 81 party. 10 Boston
Gsssi freash Fsn'ispf7 vho bsppcnci
- BE- pFeseat. Wy be sesmai - sai snI
unha2py =, that uaueat To which the
l,ttsv Ssplisl. Ole very m1sh d,ssaiisfy -
fio trss h,sr ut ny fidsre b. ieaa
ufsHs xbo " plssiouais aaI has;y i gen
srsily honest II y war eold disseHbi,ag
lTpocric oi Waoas sen fion'l bouafo =
'fheres % deception Ia ball dar =, il
0lig tss ear tist sacaks ~ AL tites you
vhyn yoar hack j. tarne3
ics- Notber shat j. lie matter viii a.,
sbddp
swby ~ s-yisg fsr noa-y vita loi-
isi'
'Jsa Ike iss t8lias, eftss rass -osiy
% many e-y fof = tsis ssrk - fsh'
nJAaus Esssy vas difidius niisss tis
snonF fhs boys WheG jim sto hsd silk
cdr rallied re cats tsi sttr5 O. his ftsfs
tse asms ftplis4 10 Jin, yop sfs viok
"a boy. sd ths Bible fsys there isbo sirc.
fsg tks aiekea
KFbifs ls q sssp babls tssi ssi.ss out u
fbs abyss - nsttiar asiiefs = saonsal %
oa lhs hresigh Il dssib,
ETDyarlss gsfsii ~ ihss "a ksshsi
ses sfs he Dr. sesl. she's tasy 60 tats
aaus thsy tafa psgsisiessly
~ haze tsfy b3fit tssesst gsr ne ,ie,
~ 81, ssrld, - - rskas sait Hilh tts
ssps abset rs p<sk