Raftsman's journal. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1854-1948, 1856-02-20

need some other soil than the one they athe (
time occupy. In fact, to speak the lit,al |
truth, women or men stuck up against t. |
wall. with an awful smile of affected content |
ment, puckering their lips, fearful to lookI
at. To be thrown within the sphere of their
influence is not good thing-it's deyilish
bad thing-malunl ovum. Methinks it is like
visit from Boreas, or a search after Sir John
Franklin-quite cold and uncomfortable. 1t
robs man of his hilarity, divests him of his
conyiviality, and deposits upon his countcnancc
an awful expression of stupidity. May HEAv-
EN- have mercy upon all who may hereafter in
a gay saloon be thus afflicted, and alleviate
their calamity, as far as the circumstances of
the case will permit-which is small-devilish
small. Unto wall-howers themselves, of what
ever age or sex, AbdaIlah would politely but
positively and pungently suggest course of
conduct Ny dear, remain at home, and, fold
ing your arms quietly, gaze at the family
clock. It's good thing, for it keeps time
bonam ouum-and viii serve to occupy your
rather vacant understandings. There you may
snooze the long, long hours away in uninter-
rupted felicity, and no one can modest you or
make you afraid. BoHun oUenl.
To enjoy visit where only one lady will be
visible in the paIlor, one must eschew all CON-
panions, and call alone. However congenial
| and friendly two men may be out of the lady S
society, in it they insensibly become rivals,
and one of them must temporarily yield his
claims. They smirk at each other, and en-
deavor to look the agreeable, but human na-
of. .b als ;-
chuckling at his triumph all the time. a man
is not a rock, or an old oak-stump: he cannot
look at beautiful woman showering fayors
upon another man, and displaying her prefer
ence for him by the loving gaze of her dark
orbs, and not become little excited. In fact,
to be in company with lovely woman, who
smiles upon your companion, and is lndiffer-
ent to YOU, is not a good thing-it is a bad
thing-nalun. orum. But calling alone, one
has free sweep, fine swoop, and full scope
If the visitor be poetical and affects the muses.
the moon, the stars, and all troubadour zeph-
yrs arc quite at his service. The sun, too, is
obedient, and the various Roman Gods will
come at his cali. Homer and Horace are on
hand, and he can raphsodIze on blind John
Milton and the old English poets. He can
sympathize with the sorrows Of Burns, or de-
pict with magnificent effect the unholy death
of poor Edgar Poe. To be brief, he can very
easily make a fool of himself, or on the contra
~, if he be capable. confer infinite pleasure
upon the fair lady. If he be political gen.
tleman, he can unbury the often-exhumed Ma
poleen, or that huge tyrant Caesar he can be-
labor Arnold and eulogize Washington; he can
spread himself upon the American eagle, and
wave the banner of the Union in the halls of
| the Montezumas. If he be sentimental, there
is the history of Mary, Queen Of the Scots,
rich in its details and entirely new, or the still
more affecting tragedy of Barbara Allen, who
murdered in cold blood gallant youth yclept
Jenny Groves, Esq, \. NJ. The clerk may
interest the lady with discourse upon calico
| and Brussels lace, or may complacently allude
to sour commercial emporium The lawyer
may expatiate upon the Importance of his last
case, the physician upon his last patient, and
! the poor devil of school-teacher upon the
/ fogging last administered to somo hopeful sci
! on of aristocracy. In fine, to visit lady
! alone, removes all fetters, banishes all unne-
cessary restraint, and renders one decidedly
comfortable. To do so is a good thing-a dev-
! ilish good thing-bonuna Drum.
In visiting, one frequently encounters sar
castle young ladies. On such occasions the
| gentleman should obsequiously bow to thell
! superior wisdom and wit. 1t is not suppo
| sable ease that a man of twenty-five or thirty
could have more experience or real sense
than a young lady of seventeen, wise in her ju
I 81
an idea would be an absurdity-malum Drum
| Consequently all sagacious Misses should neg
lect no opportunity of attacking all dignifiet
gentlaman with antique bon-1nots and concoct
ed good things. All gentleman should waive
their dignity and spare the lady's feelings b.
the appearance of surprising humility and alb
soiutc awe.
In visiting, conversation should be sustain
ed, though pauses often agreeable. Som
men imagine they must pour forth stream o
words, otherwise they will be pronounced dul
and uninter esting. Sensible women do not s.
think. On the contrary, they rather like paus
es. Thus they have opportunity for reflection
and time to analyze their own emotions ant
the remarks of their visitors. Such pauses
however, must not be rendered stupid. I
calm negIige air should be visible in the face
of all present, and whoever resumes the con
versation should do it with grace and elegance
have known fools to attempt it, and the.
made poor thing of it-a devilish poor thini
l-nalum Drum.
In calling upon bride, ceremony must b
observed. If the visitor calls alone, he mus
not omit presenting his card in proper man
ner. If there be several visitors, the brid
must be honored with the card of each. Som