Worcester daily spy. [volume] (Worcester [Mass.]) 1850-1888, 1856-12-29
Price Two cents
T5e 9ailg SPY,

The ESSENCE OF LAzINEss.-All New York
has heard of the ''slow man." Burns, 3 con-
Wet on Blackwell's Island, who was buried
alive as far as his knees, a month ago, as
serio-jocular mode Of Furnishing his laziness
The testimony of all the keepers and overseers
on the island agrees in pronouncing this man.
Burns, the incarnation of laziness and stolid
aversion to labor. The fellow is a character
withal. His good humor rivals his laziness,
and there is no little method in his stub.
born Incidence.
Burns would have been good subject for
membership of society established some
where in England, many years ago, entitled
the Lazy Society. Applicants for admission
were rigidly scrutinized in respect to their
habits Occupation they must have none, D nat
ural tendencies, nervous organization and
general appreciation Of outward things. No
person liable to excitement on any subject, or
who could be coaxed, threatened, wheedled,
or surprised, into exertion or effort, stood the
slightest chance of membership.
Under such stringent regulations the socie-
ty becomes quite select, and expulsions were
not unfrequent, of members who had forgot.
ten themselves so fur as to be betrayed into
momentary haste, in act or word. At length
one Internationally lazyi chap found his way
into the society, who gave occasion to suspi.
cious that his hour of rising in the morning
was too early for the reputation CT the institu.
ton. He was seen, on several successive
mornings, sitting in his rocking. char, near
the front window, at an early hour, and in.
formation was forthwith lodged with the
President. 10 that effect.
The accused, on being arralgned, was in.
formed of the charge against him, and con-
tronted by his accusers. who duly proved their
statements; when, in reply, the culprit stated
that the reason he was in his rocking chair,
at SO early an hour, was, that he tcGs too lazy
to 90 to bed!
The society not only accepted his explana-
ton, but deeming him fit subject for the
Presidency, the incumbent resigned with
such promptitude as nearly cost him his mem
oership, and the lazy rascal was unanimously
elected IN his stead-a position which. we
hardly need add, he retained until too lazy to
live. He actually died of sheer Incidence,
and was buried with all the honors Of his lazy
position.-N, 7. Euenng Post,
The New York Post compares Bthe COM
plant made by the Washington Union. that
the Republican members of Congress have pro-
! voked the recent agitation of the slavery ques.
ton by answering the calumnies i'll the Presi-
dents message, to the case of an Trishman
who appeared with bruised face before
magistrate to swear an assault and battery
against one of his countrymen. "Did you do
nothing to provoke the assault y inquired the
magistrate. "Not the least thing in life,"
answered the lrishman; 81 just gave him
blow on the head with my shillaleh, bidding
him be quiet and peaceable, and the dirty
spalpeen, instead of minding me, knocked mo
into the gutter
The Nashville Union, by authority doubt
less, denies the rumor that Mr.. Buchanan
would marry the widow of President Polk,
and exclaims with some indignation :--"Our
knowledge Of the lady warrants us in saying
president, there would be no truth in the re-