New Orleans daily crescent. [volume] ([New Orleans, La.]) 1851-1866, 1856-05-12
From the ''Widow I}eIott Papers."l
An Unexpected Proposal of Marriage

Mr., Crane. Well wilder, I've been thinking about
taking another companion, and L thought Id ask
volt
Widow. Oh, Mr. Crane! excuse my commotion--
it's so unexpected Just hand me that are bottle o.
campfire off the mantlery shelf-I'm ruther faint
dew put little mite on my HANDKERCHIEF and hold it
TO my nuz. There thatll do, I'm obliged to tew We
now I'm ruther composed. You may proceed, Mr..
Crane.
Mr.. Crane. Well, widder, I was agoing to ask you
whether-whether-
Widow Continner, Mr. Crane do; know it's tur-
rible embarrassin'. remember when my deceased
husband made his suppositions to me, he stammered
and suffered, and was so aWfuly tuttered it did
seem if he'd never did git out in the world, and
spose it's generally the case at least it has been with
all them that's made suggestions to ne--you see
they're gnerally concerning about what kind of an
swer they're agwne to git, and it kind O. makes EN-
But when an individual has reason to spose
his attachments reciprocated don't see what need
there is O being tustrted tho must say it's quite
embarrassin' to me. Pray continner.
Mr.. Crane. WE'LL then, want to know if you're
willing should have Messy?
Widow. The dragon!
Dir. Crane liant said anything to her about it
yet-thought the proper way was to get your con-
sent first. | remember when | courted Trypenny we
were engaged some time before mother Kenipe knew
anything about it, and when she found it out she was
quite put out because dddent go to her first. So
when made up my mind about Messy, thinks me,
I'll dew it right this time and speak the old woman
first
Widow. Old woman, hey that's a purity name to
call me !-amazin perlite tew-want Melissy, hey ?
Tribbeation gracious sakes alive! we'll III give it
up now always know'd you was sinpleton, Tim
Crane, blA must confess dddent think you was
quite so big a fool-want Melssey, dew ye? If that
don't beat all? What an everlasting old calf you
must be to 'spose she'd look at you Why you're old
enough to be her father, and more tewMelissy amt
only in her twenty-oneth year What rediklous for
man O. your age! as grey as a rat teW! l wonder
what this world is coming tew It's astonshin' what
fools old widowers will make O. themselves! Have
Mclissy Melissy!
Mr. Crane. Why, wilder, you surprise me Id no
idea of being treated in this way after you'd been
polite to me, and made such fuss over me and the
girls
Widow shet your head, Tim Crane nun of your
sass to me. There's your hat on that are table and
here's the door, and the sooner you put on one and
march out O. tother the better it will be for you. And
advise you, afore you try to git married agin to go
out West and see yer wes could, and arter you're
satisfied on that pint, jest pet little lampback on
your hair; twould add to your appearance ondoubt-
edy and be of sarvice tew you when you want to
flourish round among the gals, and when we've got
your hair iXt jest splinter the spine o. your back
'twouldn't hurt your looks mite; you'd be intrely
onresistable 'fyou was a leetIe grain straiter.
Mr. Crane. Well, never!
Widow Hold your tongue, you consumed old coot
you. tell you there's your hat and there's the door
Be off with yourself quick metre, Or Ill give You
hyst with the broomstck,
Mr.. Crane. Gmmem!
Widow, (rsing) Git out, say I amt aswine to
stand here and be insulted under my ruff and SO
word'tew Melissy, it'll be wus for you, that's ALL
Mr. Crane. Tremendous! What Buster!
Widow Go Dong, you eyerlastin' old gum. won't
hear another word; (stops her ears;) won't won't
won't
Exit Mr.. Crane.