St. Charles Republican intelligencer. (St. Charles [Charles City], Iowa) 1856-1857, 1856-11-27

DeSJ, On, the OuCSluc.,Dk D0SOmS are nc
exception land who can tell how many
bosoms-bpsoms as white as the driv.
en- snow-('tisn't every one who has a
good wash woman bosoms that rise
and swell like the heaving Of the ocean
- or a swell clerk) and cause real DO.
SONS to swell ditto-are, when search.
ed below-as false as my wig, and
fastened to the body by false strings
Thank my stars l never wore false
wig, and never will ! 1l) r-
Well, at last, l have got to go to
] -church-but with a heart in which
angry passions rise," and in state
OF mind very unfit for that holy place.
Somehow the chime of the old bell
don't sound SO sweet as it is wont, and
the singing of the choir, though al.
ways beautiful heretofore, seems but a
hollow mockery All when the heart
not right, how vain the hope of de-
irving pleasure from religion, or, in,
deed, anything else. !. .....
What cracked voice the minister
has got? / declare it reminds me of
the broken wash bowl. All there's
Miss Susan Gabble. Susan is sensi-
bic sort of a woman---rather old-but
then, she's not one of the sort that
never grows old" There is a great
deal of comfort in knowing that though
person may change outwardly, there
is something lasting within that defies
even the ravages of time. And in the
hour of death, it must be sweet to
know that you can leave behind you a
name that can "never grow DID,"
Susan doesn't belong to this class
very few that do. Let me see I've
now come to the conclusion that want
a wite-if | don't marry Pm afraid my
name will grow old the day after Pm
dead-inasmuch as am the last of my
noble family-the last of three broth
ers-all bachelors to the last. This
is one very serious objection to single
blessedness--a fellows name is about
to die away-ifMey can't help 1t. 1t
wouldn't work well in the long run !;
were the world masculine por-
tion-one vast society of Shakers. l
believe, had | been Shaker in my
youth | should have been married long
before this. Mankind is aversc to be-
ing fettered-womankind ditto chain
them down to rules and regulations
make them go to church six times ev-
cry Sunday--forbid intercourse with
the sexes while young-and they're
mighty apt to kick in the traces, an d
overset the fondest wishes of their
mistaken guardians ~
believe I'll see Miss Susan Gabble
home after meeting. -g.s
That's an awful long-winded minis
ter Fve great notion to throw my
boot after him. do hate long SER
mons. Pm great lover of the short
and sweet doctrine, and l believe that
even link ofpleasure can be too long
drawn out -.......
At last services ended. The last
psalm is sung, the last prayer is offer
ed, the benediction--there goes Susan.
4" Now comes the tug of war"
Miss Gabble-Miss Susan Gabble
allow me, my dear madam, on ac-
count of the similitude of our ages
to--to-have the supreme felicity-to
TO-" #a HT
Why, what look guess she new
er spoke to a gentleman before.
Our ages, indeed I'd have you
to know sir, that l am not so old as to
be obliged to wear false hair, and a
false set Of teeth, and
Il don't wear false bosom, plague
take you, nor cotton bosom l" a.
Home, sweet home,' says Pays
Payne-and thus says Phumble. How
dear to my heart is bachelors hall af:
ter the exhibition | have just had of
woman's lack of sense. Susan Cab
BILE too young for me I, just as if l
didn't ".went Il courting" of her many
and many's the might've and TWEEN
ty years ago-(to my shame l tell it,
just as if she wasn't proud of me, and
would have become Mrs. Phumble for
the asking, and just as if she was
young now as she was five and TWEEN
ty years ago. Oh Susan, Susan Cab
ble-too well have you learned to prac-
tice the deceit of your class Of COM
munity. But you can't hide the wrin-
kles, Susan they brand you in the
face as liar ; and the rose of your
cheek, like your would-be girlish ac-
tions, is as false as. your swelling cot
ton bosoms.
The MorHER's INFLUENcE-The solid