The daily union. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1845-1857, 1856-05-15
PROTECTION.

for reyying the agitation which black repubeanism
bases all its hopes Of securing the presidential election.
..H. PROTECTION. +.
One Of the greatest inventions OF the present age (which
is making such enormous strides towards perectbiy
railroads and reorms) is that lately achieved in political
science under the Of protection through the nspi
ration of that eminent political metaphysician who at
present presides the des.inies of the United King
dom and the rest of the world Like all other mysteries
connected with the policy of this profound statesman
somewhat difficult of analysis but far our benght-
ed comprehension penetrate it consists 10 preventing
the subugation Of Others by subugatng them ourselves
after the fashion of the philanthropc gentleman who
smothered his friend with pillow prevent his coming
to- violent end But perhaps the better way of clearing
up obscuriiy is to illustrate IL by examples. esq
Let begin with the ancient mistress of the world the
inhabitants OF which Disseminated with their gov
eminent that they demanded change and succeeded for
brief period in accomplishing their object 1t evident
therefore they required to be proecednot against their
oppressors but themselves since sufficiently notorious
that the people do know when they well off, and
tell which side their bread is buttered Accord
ngly, army Of foreign soldiers sent to keep the
and such has been the astonishing OF the
pertinent that from this time hear complaints
prefer starving
es to being spted bayonsts. Something like this ys
tenn is pursued in other parts of Italy, such Venice Mi
lam Mantua, Parma, &c. where the people protected
from themselves by Austrian armies and remain quiet
lambs by day, though they sometimes prowl about like
wolves at night. .
The next superannuated infant placed at under the
protection of the great inventor Of this invaluable specific
for renovating the waning energies Of expiring empires is
Sultan Abdul Medd who though for the most part nvis
Bile appears at long intervals, like comet with fiery
tail, which the Mussulmen call "Hai Humaioun Gull
Han" The watchful drynurses vigant that they
hardly suffer him to take the air abroad for fear he
should catch cold and taking such special of tue
"sick mans" inheritance that he has nothing to do but
play the piano and throw the handkerchief There
be no doubt therefore, that he snug flea in
blanket under the protection of the inventor of the grand
specific for preserving the integrity of empires and the
liberties Of the people .4s II. -.. .afa IN
But quarter of the world is too sphere for
the application of the universal panacea which equally
suits all sorts Of climates all sorts Of complaints and all
sorts Of people. Turning towards the West have the
Republic of the Islands called from being exclusively
governed at the will of deputy of deputy of the deputy
governor of Jamaica. This doughty republic neither
fish, flesh, fowl. Though placed nominally under
British law and British protection it is neither colony
is it integral part of the British empire Even the
author of its being don't know exactly what make of the
strange lusus nature and cackles 1t like the old hen
who Matched brood of young ducks instead of chickens
and asionished them plunging into the water
like many frogs.
Yet Notwithstanding this difficulty, Great Britain whose
philanthropy comprehensive that verify believe
she would the whole world under her protection las
adopted this strange bird fish, quadruped (cal it what
you will and is nursing it into shape other In
deed the good mothery dame ready take all the
poor orphans strayng about the world without father
mother and nobody TO TO them under her pettcoats
Like the cid woman in the vision of Rhadamanhus she
Ia busy with the affairs OF other people to be very
apt TO neglect her household and leave her lawfully
begotten children 10 the poor-houso aud parish officers
She ID desperately given to meddng with the affairs Of
her neghbors and when she has thrown every thing
into confusion and them all by the by her inter
ference smooths down her apron with inenabe compa
cency takes a pinch of snuff and excaims Blessed
the peace-makers =
But the greatest OF all the trumphs of this newly -dis-
covered panacea for the old of nations IL the proec
torate Of the kingdom Of the Mosquitoes called from its
abouudug vast Of that pugnacous insect The
lection Of this renowned kingdom $50 vast be without
boundaries dmensions aud it's puisssn monarch the lin
Of the famous king of shreds and patches
proof of that comprehensive philanthropy which next 10
canting) constitutes the peculiar glory of England. II
equally illustrates the sagacity and humanity Of the dis
coyerer Of this northwest passage the regeneration Of
the human race iuasmuch be could have taken in
band difficult job than that Of introducing among
the family Of nations tribe utterly unworthy Of all
association with decent people The king himself may
perhaps pass muster il don't require much TO make
king nowadays and the whole, his lordship may be
justified in his selection Of proegs tho principle that
the cure Of desperate the highest triumph Of the
doctor.
It does not however appear that Notwithstanding The
unweared efforts Of the protector who ought in justice,
to take the place OF oliver Cromwell in the history Of Eng
land the Mosquitoes have made any great progress in
Christianity civilization liberty. II is credbly re-
ported that the neophyes about par with the root
dggers Of California and that his Mosquito majesty docs
80 little credit legitimacy that be confined entirely TO bis
hareul-Uidcicet hu-where his keeper makes him
amends for The loss Of liberty by permitting him to get most
royalty corned' morning, noon, and night But there
nothing like perseverance, and IL this too should fail at
last we respectfully commend to his lordsbip 70 take
hint from the following fable which would undoubtedly
be found 10 E,op had he known anything about prairie
dogs It capital ezemplihcaon of the practical opo
ration Of protection;
Once upon time tso goes the story owl and rat