Smyrna times., 1856-09-17
gtraps--Uarietp.

travis Is to shoot an apple from mans head.
dHo one from each hand, for $500 a side-six
shots at the three objects The match is exci.
tlhg great interest, and we would rather see
II than a1second edition of John Gilpin's fa-
nous ieat OF horseInanship.~ -Porter'e Shirt.
0ueh an exhibition ought not to be permit
teu' we have not very high opinion of the
taste OF those who could witness IT, The man
might very appropriately say, like the Door ac.
TOR who was guyed" every night by the audi
ence'" 1t may be fun to you, but it NAV be
death to me.' "
EXPENSIVE Administrations the mason.
gers" by the Hudson River Railroad on Sa,nr.
DAY, were two Cashmere goats bound for Ten
nessee. The Albany Times say thev were
purchased IN South Carolina at S2,60O and
have been exhibited in New York Admitting
the Two ANIMALS to weigh sixty pounds for they
are dlnlnutlVe creatures, they would cost about
forty-tour dollars per pound, which is { rather
eXtraVagant price, almost equal to what Esau
pala Oh one occasion for mess of pott0ge,,
made from similar meat AS the wool of these
goats, however, sells for eight dollars Der pound.
the specimens above referred TO NAV prove
] good investment. 4
SINGULAR PREsENTIMENr-A wealthy far
/ mer named SimOnds, residing some twelve
| miles from Newburgh, on the Hudson river,lH.
had presentlment'' ten years age that he
would die on the Goth of August, 1856. He
set it down as fixed fact, selected a spot for
his grave, bought an iron fence for it, fine
tombstone and elegant coffin and had every-'
i thing IN readiness for the solemn event On
the DAY hxed tor the event he had a CLERGYMAN
and sexton at hand, ale hearty dinner with
his friends, and went to bed TO die. He did
his best, but his ghost would not be given up.
and he now confesses his ludicrous folly.
CEF Two British sailors were engaged in as.
slstIng at the debarcation of cargo of negroes
from acaptured SLAYER on seeing the shocking
condition of the poor creatures as they were
brought up and the sinister looks of the CAP
tam, who was thus disappointed of his prey,
t'Jack," exclaimed one Of the sailors TO his
cOmpaHOn, "the devil will be sure 10 have that
: fellow" Dost thou really think so !' was the.
! reply of his shipmate. ." To be sure he will :.
n or else what's the use in having devil"
/ GF The Spanards account by quaint le.
gend for the constant political disturbances in
v their country. When st. lago, their patron,
went to Heaven he interceded for BLESSINGS on
Spain. Brave men, handsome women, a fer.
a tile soil and fine climate were readily grant,.
: ed. The saint then asked for "goed govern
: ment." No, no." was the reply; if that
v were conceded as well, the angels would quit
!. heaven to live in Spain" r u
it o. An eminent Sauant was introduced at
an evening party to a rather pert young lady.
e "Oh, Mr. -" said she, 81 am delighted to
Of meet you; have SO long wished to see YOU. y,
IS "Wei," said the man of science. and pray
n what do you think of me now you have seen
me-" 4" You my be very clever" was the all
le swer, " but you are nothing to look ats -
7, Echo ANswERING.-Wh must be done 70
- conduct newspaper right Write. What
: is necessary for farmer to assist. him !--SVs!
=. TEN. What would giVe.ablind man the great
oF est delight !--Light. What is the best conn
- sci given by Justice ofthe Peace !--Peaoe.
=. Who commit the greatest denominations !---Na-
-, tlons What cry is the great terrter Fire.
l liS RAIN ManyIyeaFs ago bet was made bv
~ distinguished birginian, with an English Lord
- OF ii year, to Increase in geometrical pr,,.
ho gression for the next succeeding twenty vearo
ie that it would rain in The county Of Chesterfeld
IN Va, (his place dfresidence,) on the first SAT-
u - urday of, August am every year., The resf,l,
~ was he won, eighteen times and lost twice -
y, That is, his winning was f524, ,2S8, and LOSING
'et E2. - - 'e0''s
ch " disappointed artist, indulging in q
las vein of ab6se against a successful rival. ex
Ia claimed, IS He is, without exception, the mos
he creatures that ever made any pretensions I,
re-. art" Gently, my dear sir" said a gentlema~ y
you quite forgot yourself"
o. Prince Albert, husband of Queen V;c,o
has ria, is becoming unpopular in England. in CON
the sequence Of his parslmonious character. m,
sal Prince has recently purchased an enorman
lief quantity OF land IL Australia, for which IL \
da- said. the Marquis of Westminster has advance,
the money. -.ae.. %; .a.-l dta a.t.a -
the Or Western editor SAYS that child a,.a
''y' run over by wagon three years old and cross
iof eyed, aud which never spoke afterwards N
IN gives has readers some lines which he sa .
C were written by young man who has lon
"a since lam IN the grave for hs0wn amusement.
..,l .aO~7- A "stik up of genius aebtefs8
ing shop in Phlladelphiuo and turHing up his nos
yes at some apples, ~ the window, exclaimed nAr
,ne those apples fit for hog to eatr' al don,
mics know-tty them and see," was the instant +,
ing, ply of the shopkeeper.3 3'''1' '- sn~i 'a91a1
lge o. Boston Dentist Claims that be baasa b,aaS9; a.
to covered method OF extracting teetl, y ,ySjS
runs pain. This. accomplished by congealng !
etto freezing the local nerves.
Sn3 65- The Tilletudlqm Deba ting Society h,
,arv now this question before thenl-" Is il wron
ads2 TO cheat a lawyera'1 saiAa gtFd ~ - i
reat 'i0c3- People become l'by drinking health
hair He who drinks the health OF Others, drinks ,
lsed his own. uA4aias q s4alssstb spo4 m :
BBa.n bfOT- The chap who took the ctbread ora;
e. to sew the rent OF house, has tone xvas, a.
q, invented patent point for lcross-eyed needIs
the i, 0c7- Whats the difference between t;,,h
,ior pitcher with water and throwing a',so.,
eady overheard! One is water in the n;,cha
ssio- and the other pitch her in the water :,
lS57, odo.. ..iss. .dgls s.,AT-.TssTa 80 MI
y n V 1t is impossible to love one in who
close truthidlness we cannot confde Or 10 % %slio
eli. one whose words and purposes and actions e
neyT W''"'o' '' VIZ '" ''' u, 1918
''a'J .y1Eihu4sui "a