Delaware weekly Republican. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1841-188?, 1856-08-21
Dllinorous.

1t is the dread Of madness.
Dlllnornus.
LAST ADMosGrios To A LAZY Bor.-A late reyer
end clergyman, who was we'll known for his co
centrolty as his taleLts day sent his sen lazy
lad about twelve years of age, to catch his horse
The boy was sauntering along with an ear Of corn in
one hand, aud the bride in the other, gEing the
roins along on the ground
"Thomds" said his father, calling after him in n
solemn tone of voice. come hore, Thomas, I want
to say word to you before you go.
The lad returned, and his father proceeded
'"fuu know Thomas, have given you agreat
deal OF good ciunsel, You know I've taught you
before closingyour eyes, to say,
Nov lay me down to Sleep 3d.
besides good many other things in the way of cx-
hortaon and advice. But this is the last opportu.
nifty may ever have Of speaking to you. I could
not let il pass without giving you my parting advice
Be a good boy, Thomas, and always say that pretty
prayer before going to sleep fear shall never
AS he said this in very sad and solemn manner,
the poor boy began to be frightened and burst into
tears with this exclamation
"Iou'll never see me again, Par
HNo-for shall probably die before you get back
with the horse!l
This quickened Thomas's IDEAS; and gathering up
the bride reins, he and caught the horse quick
or than he had ever done before
"DIp HE NOT SAY BEANs?". Two travellers put up
for the night at tavern Early in tho morning they
abscondei without reckoning with their host, also
stealing from him bag of beans. A few years af-
ter, they passed the road in company again. Again
they asked for lodgings at the same inn. The iden-
tical landlord was at his post. In the evening the
landlord was in corner of the bar-room, talking
in suppressed Voice to one OF his neRhbors abouta
| swarm of sees His two dishonest guests seat
ed in another part of the roon and lnds'inctly hear
ing the talk about bees, one said to the other
"Did he not say beans?n
81 think he did - was the reply; and quickly they
were missing.
| This bean story Is worth something. When hear
mat ssoldins acout the personalities Of editorials,
| cannot help thinking about the beans
I .When the ehunch-going man complains that the
T m1Ser o mems him shis aneedote about the beans
notoo peoIio whose conssencss aro NOT easv. ssy
ing TO each nther by various means of cemmupioa.
tion' ibid he not say beans?' though perhaps the
writer or speaker was nearer 10 the subject on
which their minds we're excited, than tho sound of
tue word 'bees" resembled that of theans."
windy orator once got up and said: "Sir, after
much reflection, consideration and examination, /
have calmly, deliberately and carefully come to The
determined conclusion that in cities where the pop.
uiation ls very large there are greater number of
men, women and children, then In cities whore the
poPulation is less"
"Why don't you wash the bottoms Of your feet.
sonny! aske a grandmother ofa boy whom he was
performing the necessary operation preparatory 10
ret1ing for the night. To which he grayely replied
-Why granny, doesn't think I'so goin' to tand up
in bed, does yel"
"May leave few tracts, = asked cOporteur of
an elderly lady who responded to his knock
"Leave some Enthusiastically you may,n said
she, looking at him most benignly over her specs,'
and leave them heelstowards the house please"
"Halloo, my friend, see you are losing fesh -
Old gentleman, indignant at the familiarity of his
supposed friend, and sputtering most fearfully-
"W-wbat? losing flesh! ysu impudent oundrel,
I'll let you know, sir, I'm not, sir l. sir, last night
sir, was weighed, sir, and had gained ton pounds
sir. Very pretty state of AFFAIRS II person has to
be insulted in this manner.n
We'll my friend, all can say is, If you look be-
hind, you will q nd it to be true"
Old gent discovers a small dog making q violent
assault on his market basket.
soxd OF RgrUnLIoAN's PRINrEEs.
We're all pick ing,
Pick, pick picking;
Oh, we're all picking
Up type for the RspabiieaH.
AGood Methodist minister OF the west, who lived
on very small salary was greatly troubled at one
time to get his quarterly instaments. He had call.
cd on his steward a number of times, but each ,ime
was put off with some excuse, His wants at length
becoming urgent he went to his steward and told him
he must have bis money, as his family were suffer-
ing for the necessaries oflifs
| "Moneyi" replied the steward "You preach for
souls"
,'souls!" replied the minister; II can't eat souls,
and If could, would take thousand such as yourp
to make decent meal"
: When man comes home and tries to bait the door
with sweet potato pokes the fire with the spout Of
| coffee not attemps to wind up the clock with bis
bostjack, tries to cut kinding for his morning hre
with paper knife, takes cold potato In hand to
light him to bed and prefers sleeping In his hat and
boots you may reasonably infer that he has been
making the acquaintance ofsome very friendly peo-
pie.
The late Judge Wilde, while at tho bar, was quite
famous for his apt repartee. lie was once trying
case and labored very hard to obtain certain an
swer feom reluctant witness. The opposing coun-
sci interrupted him with the side remark "Ah, it's
no use, brother Wilde, to pump the witness further
i you are only wild goose chase" "Just so,
said Mr.. wild (el on ono side and goose on the
other"
A mayer of one Of the Communes in France lately
made the following entry upon his register: II
found yesterday in the fore ST. man by tho name of
Ron, committing an act agains the laws com
manded him to surrender, wheroupon he set upon
me ragamuin, and precious dOlt, and scare
GROW ali OF which L certify 10 bo true"
Ike came home the other day with the intelligence
that the Cumberland was undergoing repairs, and
that the worknen had stripped her away down to
, her waist "Bless my soul!" said Mrs Partingtoni
D thing take cold? and won't the mosquitoes trouble
4 harih Her horror was doubled when informed By
Ike that she had fallen away so that her ribs were
a to be seen very plainly.
!. "What are the prospeoss AZ tee ssuItry" asked
city politician of farmer. 'Nery poor as regards
the crops, 10 my neighborhood:' 81 mean 10 70
n ference to the prospects, Of Buchanan and Breokn
ridge oh, their prospects are considerably WORSE
At than the crops"
% He OUeHr TO KNow.-Tho editor Of the boStol
L. tAIuss) Post says that brandy applications are
"a commended for badness, continued eAtsInsy in
til the hair is we'll started, and Afterwards 'AAen
tternully to clinch the roots.