Grand River times. [volume] (Grand Haven, Mich.) 1851-18??, 1856-07-02
DO WOMEN CHOOSE THEIR
HILSRA NDS2
HUSBANDSy

In our March number we endeavored to
prove that it is well, perhaps, that women do
not choose their own husbands-or rather
that their first girlhood feelings of preference
are not indulged in.
But it is also essentially necessary that they
should have the power of choice IN SO far as
concerns the acceptance or rejection of men
who may make proposals to them. Marriage
is holy and solemn charge, not rashly to be
entered into; and certainly not at the bid
ding of another.
Notwithstanding this, there is, perhaps, no
event in the ordinary course of life, that
friends and relations consider themselves call
ed upon to interfere with, so much as mar
riage Wherever there is a family Of grown
daughters, the female relations and friends
are necessarily speculating on the chances of
their marrying. The maneuvers of mamas
to entrap rich son-in-laws, have been depict
ed and many " eligible men" are so impress
ed with the idea that they are in danger of
being "caught" that they deprive themselves
of the pleasure they would otherwise enjoy in
female society.
This is surely wrong state of things; and
whether it has originated in the folly of wo-
men, or, what is more likely, in the vanity of
men, it places men and women in false po-
sition with regard to each other, and ought
to he corrected. 1t is this feeling on the part
of the men, of fearing to be caught, and on
the part of the women, of not wishing to APP
pear desirous of catching, that has led to
what an able coadjutor of ours has called
" the hypocrisy of SEX" and which makes
men and women appear, when talking to
each other to be each playing part and
" showing each other the vanished side of
their respected selves"
But why should men dread being entrap-
ped into marriage? Are they not quite as
much benefited by the change as any wo-
man can be? And does not a woman, gen
orally speaking, make by far the greater sac
rifce of the two? A man when he marries
gives up very few of the enjoyments of his
single state; but woman, when she maries,
takes upon herself care and trouble of every
description; and, generally, has to endure an
amount of bodily suffering and mental anxi-
ETY., which makes her old before her time.
If we consider carefully the condition of a
married man and that of an old bachelor, we
shall see how little reason the latter has to
himself that he has never been
" caught" The married man has some one
to think of all his little comforts; to sympa-
thize alike in his adversely and in his pros
perity; to soothe his il-humor when he is
annoyed; to amuse him when he is dull !;
and to nurse him when he is i'll; but who
cares for an old bachelor? unless indeed he
should chance to be rich; and then he is sur
rounded by courtiers, all eager to please him,
but with what hope! only that they may be
benefited by his death.
Let us, therefore, no longer hear of women
trying to catch husbands; the tables should
be turned. 1t is men who should try to
catch wives; and women who should be afraid
of being caught, if it is necessary that any
fear should exist in the case.
There appears, however, no reason that
men and women should regard each other as
enemies in what is generally the most i'm
portant step in their respective lives. The
marriage VOW is very awful one; and, as
its consequences must occasion the happiness
or the misery of those who take it, we repeat,
that it is holy and solemn charge, not rash
ly to be entered into.
Ladies Companion.