Daily American organ., 1856-03-05
An Unexpected Proposal of Marriage.
From the Widow Bedntt panara

From the Widow Bedott Papers"
Mr.. Crane. Well, widder, I've been thinking
about taking another companion, and thought
I'd ask you
Widow. Oh, Mr.. Crane egscuse my commo-
tion-its 80 unexpected. just hand me that are
bottle o. campfire off the mantlery shelf-Tm
ruther faint-dew put little mite on my handkr-
chief and hold IL to my nuz There, that'll do, I'm
obliged tew ye-now I'm ruther composed. You
may purceed, Mr.. Crane.
Mr. Crane Well widder, was agoing to ask
you whether-whether--
Widow. Coltinner, Mr.. Crane, do / know it's
turrble embarrissin' / remember when my de-
ceased husband made his suppositions to me, he
stammered and suffered, and was so awfully fut-
tered it did seem as If he'd never did git out In the
world, and sposc It's generally the case, at least
it has been with all them that's made suppostions
to me-you see they're ginerally concerting about
what kind OF answer they're agwine to git, and it
kind O. makes 'em narvous But when an individ-
iwal has reason to spose his attachment g recip-
rocated, l don't see what need there is o. being
illustrated; tho must say it's quite embarrassn
to me. Pray contnner.
Mr.. Crane. Well then, / want to know if you're
willing should have Melissy?
Widow. The dragon
MIR. Crane. / hant said anything to her about
it tyet-thought the proper way was to get your
consent first. | remember when courted Trypen-
ny we were engaged some time before mother Ke-
npe knew anything about it, and when she found
it out she was quite put out because diddent 60
to her first. So when made up my mind about
Melissy, thinks me, Pll dew it right this time and
speak to the old woman first
Widow. Old woman, heyl that's purity name
to call me !--amazin' perlite tew--want Melissy,
hey Trbbleation! gracious sakes alike! well
I'll give it up now / always knowd you was
simpleton, Tim Crane, but must confess diden,
nit Wal
dew YEP If that don't beat allp What an ever
lastin' old calf you must be to spose she'd look at
you. Why, you're old enough to be her father and
more tew-Melissy amt only in her twenty y-oneth
year. What reedicklous idee for a man O. your
age as gray as a rat tew l wonder what this
world is comm tew tis astonshin' what folls old
widowers will make o themselves Have Melissy /
Melissy
Mr. Crane. Why widder, you surprise me; I'd
no idea of being treated in this way, after you'd
ben so polite to me-, and made such fuss over me
and the girls. r.
Widow. Shet your head, Tim Crane; nun of
your sass to me There's yer hat on that arc table
and here's the door, and the sooner you put Oh
and march out O tother the better it'll be for
you. And advise you. afore you try to git mar
ried agn, to go out West and see # yer wifes cold
and arter yere satisfied on that pint, Jest put a
little lampblack on yer hair 'twould add to your
appearance undoubtedly, and be of sarvice tew
you when you want to flourish round among the
gals, and when yeye got yer hair fxt, jest splinter
the spine O. yer back 'twouldn't hurt yer looks a
mite; you'd be entirely unresStablc if you was a
leetle grain strater.
Mr.. Crane. Well, I neveri
Widow. Hold yer tongue, you consarned old
ooot you; tell ye there's yer hat and there's the
door, Be off with yerself, quick metre, or I'll give
ye hyst with the broomstick.
Mr.. Crane. Gimmeni N...M.
Widow (risng Git out, / say ; ! amt agwine
to stand here and be insulted under my own ruff
and SO git along, and if you ever darken my door
agin or say word to Meissy, itl be wuss for you,
that's all.
Mr.. Crane. Tremerjous What busterl
Widow. Go long, you everlastin old gum. /
won't hear another word (stops her ears J won't,
won't, / won't. 'Fa.a
Exit Mr.. Crane.