Nashville daily patriot. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1855-1857, 1856-06-02

way TO see precisely where they Wouio leao Us
But this cannot be, for it is already sufficiently
plain that their progressive tendency is 70 their
own irretrievsbIe disgrace and the utter msrule
and ruin of country; and if LEFT to themselves,
this result would only be question of time.
And what game is this progressive Democracy
now playing with old line Wings, to induce them
TO affiliate with their party? Why the old blarney
game. 81 knew your daddy in Ireland; be Was
great gentleman there-was highly thought ONO |
man stood bgher-indeed, be grand old gen. |
tlemen. Will you let me have dollar, If you |
pleaseY mo, | have got no dollar to give to |
hearty, hale looking fellow like you; you ought 10
get your living by honest industry, instead of idpg
away your time and trying to beg your way through
the world" 81 told you knew your daddy in Ire
land, and that he was a great gentleman there
highly thought ONO man stood higher; and 30 |
did; but at last your daddy caught sheep-steal
ing and house. breaking, and was convicted and
transported TO Botany Bay; and your mother,
heart-broken and brought to poverty by your ras"
cay daddy immigrated with you, you spapeen, to
America. And you are true chip OF the old
block, can tell you'll" But if the dollar is bestow
&c on the sturdy beggar, the daddy is great gen.
tIeman still-"lived respected and died lamented,
and the donor is true chip of the old block =
How far old line Wings will allow themselves to be
gued by this sort of cousnage, is their own look
out But it is hardly to be supposed that many
will be won by that trick. few sap-headed may,
but scarcely man of real seEse and principle.
In our own State we have another novelty in
politics, the spawn of an IN regulated, l-inoru ed,
conceited and added brain, which claims to be a
part and to affiliate with that progressive DemOc
racy, the outlines of which have sketched. 1t is
a kind of tip eEd-ofsthe-tai Democracy; the real
nincompoop Democracy; better known as the ia
cob's Ladder Democracy The politicdster who
originated il, manifestly believe that. could the
Creator OF all worlds had the benefit of his coun.
sells at the creation, all things would have been
greatly improved thereby The Jacobs Ladder
Democracy is evidently intended to supply what
the inventor couceives to be an important omission
at the creation Wherefore be has fixed his Jacobs
Ladder on q converging line with Christianity,
which he says, although it don't run parallel with
that glorious work OF redemption, yet is its equal
and goes to the same place, and that Democracy
1.-THE divinity of mani is the political redeemer, and
mounted on bis Jacobs Ladder can go it hand over
hand up to the throne of God on high. This in
vention has been given to the world without being
patented For what purpose it was designed, other
than to supply the omission spoken of, no one has
yet been able to discover if il has been thought
worth while TO try. 1t is at present only used, so
TO speak, as kind of political stink-pOt, thrown
occasionally in derision, or a converging line, a.
the head of its inventor greatly to his own annoy
ance and to the amusement of others, and especi-
ally to the amusement Of old line Democrats.
With this passing notice on the present occasion
Of this ridiculous and curious compound Of foolery
blasphemy and nfdelty, introduced into politics,
we will leave the Jacobs Ladder Democracy to rest
on its converging line, unique specimen of
'extra learning!"
Gentlemen said DR.. A., you need not be surpris
ed at what have been relating about this Jacobs
Ladder Democracy, for monomania is a very COM
mon kind Of mental arrangement, and exhibits it,
self in a variety Of forms. When resided many
years ago, as a medical student, in the Baltimore
Hospital, there man there then who always
would insist that be was the angel Gabriel and
there to try 10 convince him other wise.
The idea had sunk deep into his brain, and he used
to say be never was so happy as when contem-
plating his own greatnessi He said he had been
of great assistance to the Almighty, and the fact
WAS, the Almighty could not have done well NTH
out him!-that finally he got tired of the partner
ship, and left the Almighty TO shift for himself
But as all things could not be wound up without
him, be expected TO go back and blow the last
trump, as Michael did not know how TO blow,
though he could beat the tamborine little! He
said his lot a hard one in this vale Of tears;
sometimes it was almost more than he could bear,
for some one was always trying TO bring himself
into notice by ridicuing and laughing at him. But
they would, one and all change their notes when
they heard him sound that last TRIUMPH Doubtless
the inventor of the Jacobs Ladder Democracy is
never so happy as when contemplating his own
greatness land thinks that he too, has been of
great service to the Almighty, and SO forth and
on
Some years after had returned home to Ten>
nessee and commenced the practice of medicine,
| was called upon to give professional attention to
man who was afflicted with very peculiar kind of
mouomania, and singularly enough, his name was
Andy Green; be was naFrow-mlnded. envious and
penurious fellow, and one of the most conceted
creatures that ever breathed. Andy Green had
ungoyernsbe propensity, about once every month,
to change the position of every article Of furniture
that was within his reach, and if let alone, he
would turn every thing topsyturvy, greatly to the
Inconvenience of the family, and greatly to the
injury OF the furniture, as he handled it with no
gentle hand; and if he was interfered with in the
least these occasions, be became perfectly fu-
rious and indecent and to use the language Of his
neghbors would "play the devil and turn up jack
generality" At such times, by my direction, he
was confined in straight jacket until the Juror
for change wore off; aud almost invariably, in
very little time after the straight jacket was taken
off and his hands loose he would tear the seat OF
his breeches, pull out his shirt-tail as far as be
could get it, and holding il up with both hands,
strut about most exultingly, not particularly on
converging lines, all OF lines, turning his
head compacenty from side TO side, looking back
and viewing his shirt tail with extatic delight, aud
proclsining himself peacock, and 'alling upon
the bysianders 10 admire his beautiful peacock tail;
and the more they laughed at the ridiculous figure
he cot, (he always wore short coat the more he
was delighted On these occasions il was use
to try TO convince him he not peecok k, and
his shirt tail not peacock tall This fantastic
exhibition, however, ende dthe paroxysm, and An
dy GDeen became quiet for time.
Monomania has been sometimes elassicaly styled
"a maggot on the BRAIN" aud not naptly, as il is
often caused by the presence OF animalcul@ and
msggots in the frontal sinus. In cases of this kind
the patient always suffers less with head
ache, aud often, periodically, it is e1crutiating
Andy Green suffered much in this way, and was
finally relieved by sanioHs discharge, containing
minute maggots, from the frontal sinus. Nov, It
is csndidy my opinion that every politieGster who
thinks he can correct the works OF the Almighty,
or has particular kiSk in his head to amend the
constitution Of the United Strtes glorious and
sacred work of Washington, and Franklin, and
Rulledge, aud Sherman, and Madison, and the other
patriotic and master minds associated with them,
will, upon investigation Of bis case, be found sub
iect TO frequent headaches more or less violent
and will risk my professional reputation upon IT,
And IL the unfortunate person afflicted, will
consent to be trepanned the frontal sinus, will
/ engage to pay the expense OF every surgical Ope-
| ration so performed, in which animalcule mag.
gots are not found in the sinus, or peiorm the ope
rattan gratuitously myself Thus every pOliieGsler
can be speedily relieved OF bis maady, and secure
himself thereby from making the indecent, unseem-
/ ", disgusting and ridiculous exhibitions which
characterize this peculiar species of monomaniA,
aud be restored to sense enough TO keep his shirt
tail in its right place
! Mr. Chairman, said DR.. A., in the present dis
turbed aud perilous condition Of national affairs
il Is essential the interest," welfare and happiness
Of the American people, that Millard Fillmore
I should be our next President There is no better,
wiser or safer man for the present great crisis TO
be found In the Union. he is a WeItried, able
aud faithful man-honest and trustworthy, and we
know it--aDd we ought TO remember IL, and We
will remember IT, A free and intelligent people,
/ in government like ours, have no excuse for no,
selecting their Ablest, wisest and best to hll