Minnesota weekly times., 1856-11-15
The kcaipei.


This is decidedly one o; the most pungsnt pa
pers on our exchange list, AMI it never enters
our sanctum without cheerful and cordial vel
come. In days gone, when conductor of another
paper in another place, we perused it with great
pleasure. Since our sojourn in Minnesota it has
been stranger, but we trust the future will find
Us more intimate friends. just read tho follow.
ing scatl'ing article on the follies of the age.
Oon'r it cut? edward Dixon, NJ. D. Editor:
Now, what is,our programme? What are the
principles OF our administration? 10 inoculate
every mothers son and daughter with our own
uirus. We intend every ons who can read, to
cad Us, and catch our complaint. The Secreta.
~ OF State, the Foreign Ambassadors, the Gov
'rnors OF the.States, the Senators and Represent
,tives, Federal and State. the Clergy and the
Bar, the Medical Profession and the People at
large, ought all to read The Scapel. WIZ, do
you say? Because it is The Scalpe, and be.
cause ice edit Il. -.
When the political loafers and wire pullers-
that subsiratum of society, which needs red
lot subsoil. plough driven through it, by our
'rlves--read it; when the liquor-dealers, old
CharOn's kidnappers. wholesale and retail, read
t; when the smiths and carpenters thumb it,
md the butcher boys pick it up at the early cof-
fee-house; when the stage. drivers and hackmen
carry it in their boxes to look at as they get the
ime; when the tallow. chambers grease it, a.
they render their fat when the market. garden.
rs find it ready for breakfast /; when the specta.
ors in our courts of law, civil and criminal, read
It; when it is found in every steamboat an rail.
road car and when it finds its way into every
,ouse-if you please, like the frogs in Egypt
hen, and not till then, LIT The Academy of
Medicine and The National Medical Association
nave one copy each, printed on g. hot press su2e.
ior linen proof paper" for preservation among
heir collection Of curiositlcs; they need no such
intellectual fodder.
We make no secret Of the matter We wish
| and intend to govern the nation medically! We
have cods of laws 50 perfectly Just and reason-
b'e, (ses the motto,) that to read them is to rc.
ceive them, and to receive them is to obey them.
They are natural, philosophical, beautiful, poet
ical, and divine! Fit alike for the asthetic schol-
ar, the poetic romancer, the learned collaboration,
the phlosnnhic investigator, the profound statps-
man. the logical jurist, the sanct fed thcologiau,
md the science-i illuminated physician.
Think not, however, that none but the ilumin-
ati, the purificati, the ndoctrinai and the spir.
tnal, are capable of comprehending and receeiv-
ing US: The Five Points and the Fifth Avenue
Washington. the Sodom and Gomorrah Of the
| nation and the simplest New England village,
| are alike ctpable of understanding US.
Come here, thou filthy, sinking, nasty. con.
| temptible tobacco -chewer, whose breath would
poison our sewer, and whose hlavofej lips would
frigbten awny night scavenger here, take
The Scalpel in thy trembling hand, and read thy
doom. Wilt thou make respectable muck p
Throw AVA thy tobacco Get into q big spit.
toon, AMI let the water run over and through
thee, for the next two months then get into q
| vinegar vat, and undergo thoraugh picking,
and by the fourth Of March next, thou mayssf
become decent citizen. ~ ff
Halo! you rollicking, hickuping, stupid. and
spewing spalpeen of a drunkard, lie down in that
gutter, and hear patiently our fervid virulence.
What, in the name of decency and manhood, are
you about in putting that Beelzebab compound
OF alcohol, AQUA FORTS, and alum, into your ali.
inentary stew-pan? Here, take this; it's one of
| and then let rs swab You out with wormwood
tea, and some of our |" Capscum Cotsup." We
know what's good for you. Hand over your
money, and set your muddled bra,ns--if sou
have any left--to work on its pages, and 90 anv-
where that we send you Blackwelps Island If
we say so !; but 60 at once, and have our proaib.
itory liquor law forced at the point of the
Scaipel. Give up the liquor, or give Us your
carcass for dissection. Les conscience or the
crows be satisfied.
You take snuff, do you7 Well, il your nose
is of no more worth than to make a dust.hole
of, le.'s make your mouth garbage barrel
Lere, open it, and let US put these wthered Gu.
| cumbers and rotten apples and cabbsges in >
Hold there are some sinking scraps Of scrofu-
lous cow-beef, and some cigar-cnds that have
been twice smoked and sucked. Stay there's q
few rotten onions, and the contents Of spirtoon
from Datch grocery store, where Jon 80 10 buy
your dinner. D0n,t Be asSSJ. Esj just = niss