Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1856-04-12
humorous.

| A LAUGHABLE STORY The following
story--whether true or false we cannot
SAYS the talk of village in the parish
of Halifax, and bordering of Bradford
1t appears that certain woman felt
her spouse an incumbrance, and, UNI
mindful of her marriage vows and the
rigors of the law, resolved on his dispo-
sal after method now, alas! too COM
mon.
She applied to the druggist of the vii
lage for sixpence worth of arsenic. He
very properly refused to sell her the ar
ticle, and informed her husband of the
application, at the same time inquiring
of him for what purpose his wife could
require such quantity of such an ar
ticle
The husband replied, iocularly that
he could not tell, unless it was for the
purpose of poisoning him, and told the
druggist that if she applied again, he
must sell her some harmless article in lieu
of the arsenic, and they would seewhat her
objects were.
She did apply again, AMI the wary
apothecary delivered her some carbonate
of soda, magnesia, or other comparatively
innocuous drug, warning the husband Of
what had occurred.
When he went home he found a meat
pie prepared for dinner He pretended
at first, want of appetite, and invited his
wife to help herself. She refused, and
at last he ate quantity of the pie.
In a little time he professed himself
unwell, then alarming sickness, and
finally death.
The treacherous woman manifested
great concern during these serious pro-
ceedings, but the instant death appeared
to her to have occurred, she passed
rope through the chamber floor, and knit
it to her supposed dead husbands neck,
in order that when the neigbbors were
called in he might appear to have hanged
himself She then ran up stairs to draw
up and fix the rope.
The instant she had disappeared the
dead man revived, released himself from
the rope, and passed it round the leg of
the table, and the woman hung that
useful domestic article instead Of the
other one-her husband.
The latter also ran up stairs, inquiring
of the faithless woman what she was
after drawing the tables up in that way :?
The affair has ended for the present
in his, as the phrase is, taking the law
Tito his own hands. He has given her,
as the Yorkshire folks say, Fright down
good hiding" leeds eng Mercury.
"REMINISCENCES OF ST.. CHARLES Ho-
TEL WAITER. Corporation dinner Satur-
day night last. Large number of the
members of the Legislature present
Excessive quantity of champagne every
body affectionate. General population
of the United States toasted Individually.
''Mr. President" addressed by every
body who could attain an equilibrium on
his pedestals. Naval engagements of
ideas, which sailed around the room
without ruddcr or compass, and entered
into private conflicts in detached squad
rons. Interesting segmcnts of speeches,
asreeably diversified by mysterious dis
appearances under the table Orders to
call all the members early for Baton
Rouge boat. Dinner over, 2 o'clock,
A. NJ. All hats and overcoats wrong
evidently been taking champagne
Scene changes to A. NJ. Called several
gentlemen, who expressed a painful anx-
iety to know what State they were in.
Thought privately they were in very
bad state. Found one door carefully
locked. and standing half way OPEN
Cravat carefully folded on the table, and
a huge pair Of boots emerging from the
lower end of the sheets. Pulled the
boots (not Off and became aware Of the
fact that they had a proprietor. The
proprietor called on % Mr.. Speaker" and
respectfully requested information as to
the point of order. Thought the mem
Der was decidedly out of order, but con-
sidered his views on the internal i'm
provement" question particularly sound.
Member imagined himself clerk of the
House, and proceeded to call the roll
One roll brought him out of bed, and
there being no limit to speeches, he had
the floor for quarter of an hour. Con-
stituted myself committee of one, aud
retired to consult. Bell sounded-re-
turned to room with two cocktails as per
order, and overheard member assuring
a man he saw in the looking-glass that
he must have got drunk and made a
id fool of himself, and that he had
better go to Baton Rouge as soon as pos
sible. Man seen in looking glass, drank
his own health, and did start for Baton
Rouge. ''Scene shifts. ~. 0. Delta.
Pooh LITTLE LION The New York
Independent has the following from a
mother:
g But did tell You what time
had with my little Joe p
No, what was it p
Why, was showing him the picture
of the martyrs thrown to the lions, and
was talking very solemnly to him, trying
to make him feel what terrible thing
it was"
Ma" said he, all at once, "Oh
mn CT lnoly ~ TIA