Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1856-09-03
One Who Died without Living.
I Paul Legrand died at Dion, Burgundy, re,
=, IL - of IN laov;nO tha following me.

| N. Paul Legrand died at DlJon, Burgundy, re
Gently at the age of 10, leaving the following me
moir. whereby he proves he has not lived.
All that is suffering, sorrow, ennui, despair, ,de
sire regret should be deducted from life, becaus'
wa should ourselves have deducted it had heav
en- permitted. When three yeaIs old l wa
weaned at six I could speak but badly; at sew
en- | split my skull; at nine ! was cured.
must therefore, extract nine years from my g; eX
istence; for surely to drink nurses sour mix
not to speak, or badly, and to split ones skulls
not living At the age of nine began my stud
les. Owing to my cracked skull, my head was
hard one, and proved stubborn to tuition
required two years labor to spell the alphabet
| was indebted to letter z alone for about foul
score hundred lashes; the other twenty-thr,ee
letters made o complete martyr OF me: AT Tue
age of twelve could read, but my BODY was
msngled with alphabet scars. An attempt was
made to teach me Latin, and Host my French ID
the experiment. AT fifteen knew nothing al
all, and q forced diet of bread and water had re-
duced me to the condition Of a skeleton. Slx
wears more had therefore to be deducted. AT
sixteen my father made me- notarys clerk
There commenced a new species of martyrdom
got up ut six, lighted the stove, was drubbed
by the taller clerks, and my father, oyerwhelm-
ed with complaints about me, deprived me OF my
dinner. This life led for five years, and from
life 1 will positively deduct them. -,
At twenty my father, quite disgusted with his
son, put me on board ship at Cherbourg.
washed the decks, climbed up to the top-mast,
mended the sails, and received thirty lashes
day upon my back This was endured for four
years. At twenty-four my father made me
haberdasher. married Mademoiselle Ursuie
Devousins, turner's daughter; her portion con-
sisted of thirty thousand livres, mortgaged upon
sugar estate at St. Domingo. The day after
the wedding found that my wife had wood
en- leg, made by my father-in-law, the turner
The poor woman made thousand apologies tor
her infrmity, and pardoned her out OF regard
to her marriage portion. The st. Domingo
blacks rose against the whites, burnt the mar
riage portion, and the wooden leg was all that
was left to Inc. r-4.9a
At thirty lost my wife in consequence OF
scrofulous disease. / spent six years OF mar
riage, repenting every minute. therefore de-
duct these six years from my hfe., Having, as
everybody else slept third part of my life, |
deduct twenty -four years of sleep, and / am be-
low the right reckoning, for was great sleep
er. A year lost adding minute to minute, in
searching for the keys Of my desk, which l was
constantly mislaying. Does one live when one
looks for key9 Three years lost in having
myself shaved, powdered, &c, five years in suf-
fering with toothache, two inhammations Of the
chest, with relapses and convalescence. Three
years lost in saying, whats o'clock" I've have
bad weather to-day :" chow do you do9n show
is your lady9" 81 have bad cold," "Marlbo-
rough sen va-t-en guerre-what mud in the
street-what winter this year!" Six months
lost in having the mud brushed off one, and SIX
in brushing ones hat. One year endurance OF
the entire aot of the theatre. One year lost In
listening to the modern drama, the che de'auure
of genius not understood. One year lost in COM
planning of salt and tasteess soups, of outlets too
much or too undone, of findigestions of hard eggs.
Total II years. beg leave to declare that in
giving up the ghost do not give up anything
| worth keeping.