Daily American organ. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1856, 1856-01-30
The Deaf Aunt and the Deaf wife.

nhu an aunt coming 10 visit me Tor the INST
time since my marriage, and | don't know whal
evil genius prompted the wickedness which per-
petrated toward my wife and my ancient relative.
:" My dear said to my wife, on the day before
my aunts arrival, "you know Aunt Mary is COM
ing tomorrow; well, iorgotto mention rather
annoying circumstance with regard to her She's
very deaf; and although she can hear my voice,
to which she is accustomed, in its ordinary tones,
vet you win he obliged to speak extremely loud in
order to be heard. 1t will be rather inconvenient
but know you will do everything in your power
TO make her stay agreeable" s.t
Mrs. $. announced her determination to make
herself heard, if possible.
then went to John p, who loves Joke
about as well as any person know of and told
him to be at the house at six p. NJ, on the follow
ing evening, and felt comparatively happy.
went to the railroad depot with carriage next
night, and when was on my way home with my
aunt, said
"My dear aunt, there is one rather annoying in.
trinity that Anna This wife) has which forgot to
mention. She's very deaf and although she can
hear my voice, TO which she is accustomed, in its
ordinary tones, yet you will be obliged to speak
extremely loud in order to lie heard. am very
sorry for it.
Aunt Mary, in the goodness of her heart pro-
tested that she rather liked speaking loud, and to
do so would afford her great pleasure. sts
The carriage drove up; on the steps was my
wife, in the window was John tt, with a
face as utterly solemn as if he had buried all his
relatives that afternoon.
handed out my aunt; she assembled the steps.
i am delighted to see you" shrieked my wife,
and the policeman on the opposite sidewalk started
and my aunt nearly fell down the steps.
:. Kiss me, my dear" howled my aunt and the
hall lamp clattered and the windows shook as with
the fever and ague. looked at the window. John
had disappeared. Human nature could stand it
no longer, poked my head into the carriage, and
went into strong commissions.
When entered the parlor, my wife was help
ing Aunt Mary tc take off her hat and cape; and
there sat John with his sober face.
Suddenly, Did you have pleasant journey ~
went off my wife like pistol, and John nearly
jumped to bis feet
Rather dusty" was the response, in a war
whoop, and so the conversation continued.
The neighbors for blocks around must have
heard it. When was in the third story of the
building heard every word
In the course of the evening, my aunt took oc-
cason to say to me ~
&c How loud your wife speaks. Dontit hurt her p
| told her all deaf persons talked loudly, and
that my wife, being used to it, not affected by
the exerton, and that Aunt Mary was getting along
very nicely with her.
Presently my wife said, softly
"Al how very loudly your aunt talks
u
You're getting along with her finely; she
hears every word you say
And rather think she did
Elated at their success of being understood
they went at it hammer and tongs till everything
on the mantle-piece clattered again, and was Sc
riously afraid Of crowd collecting in front Of the
house. But the end was near.
My aunt being of an investigating turn of mind
was DESTROYS of finding out whether the exertion
Of talking so loud was not injurious to my wife.
So
Doesn't talking 50 loud strain your lungs p
said she, in an unearthly hoop, for her voice was
not as musical as il was when she was young.
1t is exertion," shrieked my wife.
"Then why do you do itg" was the answering
scream.
Because because--you can't hear if don't, Y
"What 2" said my aunt fairly rivaling railroad
whistle this time.
began to think it time TO evacuate the premi-
ses, and looking round and seeing John gone,
stepped into the back parlor aud there he lay flat
on his back, with his feet at right angles TO his
body, rolling from side TO SIDE with his face poked
into his ribs and most agonizing expression Of
countenance, but not uttering a sound. imme-
diately and inyoluntarily assumed similar atti-
tude, and think that, from the relative position
of our feet and head and our attempts to restrain
our laughter, apoplexy must have inevitably en-
sued, it horrible groan, which John gave vent to
his endeayor TO suppress his visibility had not be-
trayed our hiding place.
In rushes my wife and aunt, who, by this time,
comprehended the joke, and such scolding as
then got never got before, and l hope never to
get again.
know not what the end would have been i
John, in his endeayors to appear respectful and
sympathetic, had not given vent 10 such groan
aud horse laugh that all gravity was upset, and
we screamed out in concert.
| know it was very wrong, and all that, to tell
such falsehoods, but 1 think Mrs. 0pie herself
would have laughed il she had seen Aunt Msry's
expression when she was informed that her hear
ing was defective,