Volcano weekly ledger., 1856-02-09
How Sam Bates Got Caught.

Mr.. Bates met Sally Jones for the first
time at quilting, and in sixty seconds after
sight ne determined to court her He sat be-
side her as she stitched, and had even the au-
dacity t)squeeze her hand under the quilt
The truth is mighty and must be told. Al
though Sally did resent the impertinence by a
stick with her needle, she was not half so in
dignant as she ought to have been dare not
say she was pleased but perhaps should not
be far from the trnth if / did 1t is undeni-
able that the more gentle and modest wo-
man is, the more she admires courage and
boldness in the other SEX Sally blushed ev-
cry time her eyes met those of her beau, and
that was as often as she looked up. AS for
Sam, the longer he gazed the deeper be sunk
in the mire of love, and by the end Of the eve
ming his heart and his confidence were both
completely overwhelmed As he undertook
to see Sally home, he felt numbness in his
joints that was entirely new to him, and when
he tried to make known his sentiments as he
had previously deter mined, he found his heart
was so swelled up that il closed his throat and
he could not utter word.
What darned, cussed sneak / was !"
groaned Sam. as he turned that night on his
sleepless pillow Whats come over me that
| can't speak my mind to pretty gal with
out a-choking'?-0 Lordl but she is too pref
ty to live on this airth. Well, Pm a-going to
church with her tomorrow; and if don't fix
matters afore git back, then drat me-"
ut is probable Sam Bates had never har-
kened to the story of "Rasselas, Prince Of
Abyssinia," or he would have been less credu-
lous while thus listening to the whispers of
fancy, and less ready to take it for granted
that the deficiencies Of the day would be sup
piled by the morrow. Tomorrow came, and
in due time Mr.. Bates, tricked off in bran
new twelve dollar suit of Jews clothes, was
on his way to meeting beside the beautiful
Sally. His horse bedecked with a new fair
bride, and a new saddle with brass stirrups,
looked as gay as his master AS they rode
up to the Westinghouse door, Sam could not
forbear casting q triumphant glance at the
crowd of Sally's adorers that stood around
filed with modification and envy at his sue
cessful audacity. Sally's face was roseate
with pleasure and bashfulness.
Stop minute now, Miss Sally; III jist
git down and Lift ye offl'
'Sam essayed to dismount, but in so doing
found that both feet were hopelessly fast in
the stirrups. His face swelled and REDEEMED
like a turkey gobler's. In vain he twisted
and kicked; the crowd was expectant; Sally
was waiting Gosh darn the steerrupv ex-
claimed SAM endeavoring to break the leath-
ers with his desperate kicks At this unwon-
ted exclamation Sally looked up, and saw her
beaus prcdicanen. The by-standers began
to snicker. Sally was grieved and indignant
Bouncing out of her saddle, in a twnkling
she handed her entrapped escort a stone.-
Here Sammy, chunk your foot out with thisp
"Oh, Sally Jones, into what an error did
your kind heart betray you, to offer this un-
timely civility in the presence of the assem-
bled county--admirers, rivals, and all
'Sam took the stone and struck frantic
blow at the pertinacious stlrrup, but missing
his aim, it fell with crushing force upon soft
corn that had come from his wearing tight
boots Whoa darn YEP cried he, losing all
control of himself, and threatning to beat his
horses brains out with the stone
Z" Don't strike the critter, Sammy said
old Jones, you'll gin him the poll evil but
jst let me ongirth the saddle, and well git
you loose in no time
"In short, the saddle was unbuckled, and
Sam dismountcd with his feet still fast in the
stirrups looking like a criminal in foot-hob-
bles. With some labor he pulled off his boots,
and squeezed them out OF the stirrups, and
pulled them on again. The tender Sally
stood by, all the while manifesting the kind
est concern and when he was finally extri-
Gated she took his arm and walked him into
the church. But this unlucky adventure was
too much for Sam he sneaked out of the
meeting during the first prayer, pulled of his
boots, and rode home in his stockings From
that time Sam Bates disappeared from socie-
ty. Literally and metaphorically he shut
up shop, and hung up his iddle'"