The Union and eastern journal. [volume] (Biddeford [Me.]) 1854-1858, 1856-01-18
Leap Year--the Ladies.

long-established custom, ladies are priyileg-
ed to "pOp tho question" Crusty old
bachelors 60 about in terror, giving wide
berth to every pretty girl they meet, and
blessing heaven for the invention Of hoops,
which prevents the fair creatures scizing
them ri ct arms. Sweet little creatures, for
whom coy twains have long sighed in vain,
pluck up courage, and by few gentle hints,
which are no longer unlady-like, bring the
modest youths to the point. Maneuvering
mammas, thanking their stars that leap
year comes once every four years, but So
cretly wishing also that it came every year,
look for fine harvest out Of bashful lovers,
and hurry their daughters " into society "
that they may take advantage Of the blessed
time. Even papas, rubbing their hands in
glee, rejoice over the privileges of leap year,
as they calculate the annual cost Of their
daughters and the cent per cent they could
make out of that money if saved. Lucky
leap year! Propitious leap year The
inventor Of the happy custom ought to
have statute raised to him by the ladies'
Or, if the inventor was woman-for we
doubt our sex having agaeity enough for
such splendid coup de maiR-they should
honor her by leap year festival, as the an
clients honorcd Ceres.
We have always thought it cruel to our
sex, that they had to take the initiative in
that terrible process. popping the ques-
ton" 1t Is said that Henry the Fourth,
when he carried Cahors by assault, was in
such trcmor of fright, it being his first
conflict, that he fairly dropped his battle
axe at the gate Of the town. But with all
this physical fear, he had brave soul; 80,
picking the weapon up, he turned to his
troops, and crying '' Cahors," struck man.
fully at the solid doors. At every stroke
his knees trembled, but still he cried "Ca-
hors," to stimulate his men, and still rain
el his blows on the iron ribbed oak Many
apoor fellow, in popping the question, has
had as hard a struggle to keep mp his cour-
age. What shaking knees, what ehattcring
teeth what autterins hearts, what chOk'
ing in the throat, what a peculiar and in
d,scriblble F" all-overishneSs seizes on the
brayest, when he attempts in cold blood To
pop the question to some angelic mis-, who
is perhaps, secretly, as frightened as him
self 1t is only by crying to ones self
"Now, or never, 60 il old boy" just as the
great hero cried " CahOrs, Cahors," that
one can muster pluck to make the assault at
all. Blessed, therefore, beyond all other
mundane blessings are picnics, moonlight
ramblcs, and especially cosy sleigh-rides, for
somehow, on such occasions the question Of
ten pops itself. Yes, out it comes, like a
champagne cork that cannot stand ii any
longer. He is lucky dog who gets into
this high-prcssurc condition. Ham, or beef,
or even pudding may DO taken cold, but
popping the question never. We would as
lief jump into the Delaware when ice was
forming, as pop the question in set form and
By deliberate purpose. The whole thing is
monstrous. The woman, who have twice
the fact Of our sex, ought to do this business
for US. They"I do it, we hope, this leap
year. If we were bachelor, il would
make our very mouth water to think Of sitt-
Ing up in state and have lots of pretty girls
popping the question to US. All the good
time is coming"
Don't he prudish, ladies, we besecch you,
any longer. Matrimony is the best condi-
ton for Us brutes Of men as well as for your
charming selves; and You will rally be do
ins a service by sehinS all stray bachelors
of this leap year, and impOunding them in
matrimony. Some old rouge once said that
marriage was like those wire nt-traps,
where a hollow cone, the big end out, in
yitcs the victim to enter, by the smell and
sight of toasted cheese within; but where,
when he attempts to leave the sharp wires of
the little end Of the cone hint pointedly ut
the impossibility. The story is wicked
libel on matrimony, ladies, which is not a
nt-trap, any more than you are toasted
cheese. Tho man that don't know that
matrimony is good for him is so far forth
demcnted. and the sooner he is put into the
husbands straight jacket the better Cor him.
You have prcscriptivc right to civilirc our
rougher natures. Franklin aptly said that
the sexes were halves Of a pair of scissors,
and neither was good for much without the
other. Chilcren don't know what is good
for them, neither do we men always. 50,
Us leap year is here, make an onslaught, one
and all, on the bachelors, and let it be Us
fierce as iarm-wile makns ON her poultry
Mt Christmas. It's the destiny OF turkeys
to be eaten, and Of men to marry the girls.
Forward march - Phiia. Ledgr.