davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Butte record., 1856-08-16

THE ELoQUENcE OF ACTIoN.-
When Eschylus, the Greek poet,
was condemned to death, his brother,
an orator and hero. was summoned to
plead his cause. While the audience
were gazing with intensity of interest
to hear what would be said, he silent
ly lifted up the stump of his dismem-
bered arm, which he had lost in the
service of his country, and said not a
word. The multitude burst into
shouts Of applause, and the poet was
saved. The dumb eloquence of that
limb spoke more powerfully than
words that burn"
Butte record., 1856-08-16
A YoUNG LADY GuosT--Jn not;c

A You've LADv GHosT.--In motto
ing a book by DR.. Robert Hare, a
somewhat distinguished convert to
splrltualism, the Independent says:
The most amusing thing III the
whole volume is specimen Of CORES
pondence between the relation and
Imagination of the medium, in the
communication on page 104. 1t is
from the ghost af a young lady n1edi-
um and undoubtedly presents young
lady's idea of heaven. We have
space only to allude to the description
which it gives of the heavenly resi-
dence of H. X. White. This is in
the fifth heaven-which seems to be
associated in the mind of the author
with the fifth Avenue-and is per-
feet love of a cottage, ''embosomed in
trees and flowers" about which the
grounds are 'tastefully laid out"
The clematis and honeysuckle en-
twine their tendrils around the trel-
lis work of the door. Within, it is
adorned with the most Exquisite"
statues, and furnished with extraor-
dinary ''couches and divans," and
such be-yu-ti-ful carpets! In addi-
tion to this there is the best society
in the neighborhood, such as "the.
Wesleys, Byron, Burns, Moore, Shell
ly, and Scott" of whom the spirit
Maria "speaks in particular because
she is personally acquainted with
them, being attracted to them by a
congeniality of feeling" Can any
thing more be wanted to perfect bliss.
Butte record., 1856-08-16

A gentleman, whose character for
sobriety has, heretofore, been unim-
peachable, took US aside at the Dod-
worth Concert the ether evening and
propounded the following: If | owed
you five dollars, what liquor should I
resemblef' The band struck up the
Tiger Polka just then, and we hast
ened to hear it, but late in the even
ing the joker whispered in our ear,
"Owed v" eau de vie.
Butte record., 1856-08-16

PoRrENT1oUs "PoME" AND Pro
pHEcY.-A. P. L. Parin ESQ.,, the
"pote" Of the Bafalo Republic, sa-
lutes the heir apparent (which means
we suppose, only apparently the heir)
of the French throne, with the fol-
lowing sinister verses:
"But waite. You keep putin,
On airs, and bimeby some Of the
Frenchm'll
Get mad, and not be afrade' of the
100000
Baynuts which is raised to protect,
you, and
Sum will bid barrykades and raven
Females and starvin men'll tare down
the
Iron rain around your boardin-house
(The Toolerys) and shrek bread, and
vengeance
And blud in your six-pound ears, and
Perhaps, some tall granny dear, fierce
In his must chers and bitter in hate,
and
A billn over with revenge, will take
you
BY the leg and knock your he'd on
the stun
Steps of the palis.''
And this scurrilous language is ad-
dressed to ''six pounds of red French
man, born in the pals of the Toole-
rvs, on the 10Th of March,"
Butte record., 1856-08-16

DIFFERENCE OF OPINIoN.-It is a
fine remark of Rosseau's that the best
of us differ from others in fewer par
ticulars than we agree with them in.
The difference of a tall and short man
is only a few inches, whereas they
are both several feet high. So a
wise and learned man knows many
things of which the vulgar are ignor.
ant; but there is a still greater num-
Der of things the knowlede of which
they share in common with them
Hac[iU.
Butte record., 1856-08-16

OUTSIDE VIEw-A rather amusing and
ridiculous scene occurred last night, in the
Theatre, not laid down in the bills 1t was
conglomeration of the tragical, melodra-
matical and farcieal. 4 man was smuggling
his sight through the open window, and the
usher told him to be off The man would
not go, 30 he was pushed off, and he then
struck back The usher peeled away, and
hit him, the outsider retaliating by punch
ing him in the nose, knocking the bark off,
and finally the outsider got the best Of him.
Parker stood for moment, making muscu-
lar motions, and finally shut his opponent
out of the fight, by closing the window.
Butte record., 1856-08-16
An exchange paper, the editor O

AN exchange paper, the editor Of
which, no doubt, ''set up" with a
widow, goes of, thus:
"t'or the other half of a counting
match, there is nothing like a young
widow. There's as much difference
between a damsel and an attractive
widow, as there is in cyphering in
addition and the double rule Of three.
Counting a girl Is like eating fruit,
all is very nice as far as it extends
but doing the amiable to a blue-eyed
bereaved one in black Grape comes
under the head of preserves-rich,
pungent, sprupy. For delicious court
ing, we repeat, give us a live 'wid-
der.'D
Butte record., 1856-08-16

JovIAL FELLows.-A party of our town
folks resolved themselves into a committee
of sixteen. last night, and concluded that it
was necessary to serenade the town gener-
ally, and two beautiful young ladies in par
ticular, with whom the whole sixteen bucks
were IN deep love. They poured forth dull
Get music for two hours, and nary beautiful
lady "opened their lattice to them, love"
Butte record., 1856-08-16

A very dull boy invariably recited
on defamation day, Or rather at
tempted to recite, "New England" ;"
which, it is well known, is one of the
poet Percival's most popular lyrics.
He invariably came to stand still
before he could get through, and kept
repeating the last fragment his mem
ory retained; one day he broke down
at the lines:
Gre forget to think upon
My land, shall mother curse the son
She bore"
Reiterating the last two words, the
master became furious, and inignant-
ly exclaimed, 'who ever heard of a
she boar2 Take. your seat, sir -
Butte record., 1856-08-16

81 shan't be with you great while,
Jane" said Mr.. Meter, Il shan't
stay here a great while.' ooh, Mr..
Meter, how can you talk so?" said
Mrs. NJ, with lugubrious express
sion of face. Because contir ued
he II feel as if | was almost gone,
and that was just passing away
like a cloud before the rising sum-"
Mr.. Meter verified his pro hecy the
next week by running away with a
sympathizing sister.
Butte record., 1856-08-16

LADIES MEAsUREMENT.-We are
curious to know how many feet in fe-
male arithmetic 90 to mile j; be-
cause we never met with a lady's
foot yet, whose shoe (by her own tes-
timony) was not, to say the least, "a
mile too bigo for her.
Butte record., 1856-08-16

PEACH TREE.-Mej Bidwell has on his
Ranch, at Chico, Peach tree of three
years growth, which measures twenty five
feet in hight, and covers a space twenty
feet in diameter 1t is of the most symmet
rical and beautiful proportions and is com
pletely laden with fruit. There are many
fine trees in Mr.. Bidwelrs extensive garden,
but the peculiar beauty and favor of the
fruit produced by this tree has elected es-
pecial attention. Speaking of peaches, We
had the pleasure. while at Chico, of assist
ing to eat Peach which measured ten and
half inches in circumference.
Butte record., 1856-08-16

Glove your neighbor as yourself"
said parson to an honest member OF
his flock. "The Lord help him, then,
replied the latter, ''for | hate myself
like pizen ever since | let Righteous
Skinhint cheat me out of the bobtall
mar"
Butte record., 1856-08-16

JEwELRY MANUFAcToRY.-Mr Geo. E.
Smith has purchased the stock of Jos. Ro-
senthal, and has added materially to it d.
rect from the importers. Mr.. Smith ls one
of the most accomplished artists in the man
ufacture of jewelry in this upper country.
See his advertisement.
Butte record., 1856-08-16

READER, did you know that every
column of newspaper contained
from ten to twenty thousand distinct
pieces of metal, the misplacing of any
one of which would cause a blunder,
or typographical error2 With this
curious fact before you, do you not
wender at the general accuracy of
newspapers? Knowing this to be
the fact, you will be more disposed,
We hope, to excuse than magnify er-
rors of the press.
Butte record., 1856-08-16

Gid, is perfect Nightingale. He paid us
visit Sunday. If we had few such men
as he is, we could save our town from. fire,
should it ever occur He is foreman of
Eureka Engine Co., No. 1, of Marysville,
and tits said that his superior as bold and
gallant fireman, does not live
Butte record., 1856-08-16

-PR1DE, under whatever form it
may show itself, is of the devil and
though family pride may not be its
most odious manifestation, even that
child bears a sufficiently ugly like
ness of its father. But family feel
ing is very different thing, and may
exist as strongly in humble as in high
LIE
Butte record., 1856-08-16

SLEEP.-Six or seven hours every
day men are breathing corpses; the
face discharges expression; the brain
gives up thinking; life is gone, only
the animal lies there, pulsating,
breathing, snoring-helpless as an
infant-unnoticlng as statue; and,
gone, all gone, all vacant, emty, use
less
Butte record., 1856-08-16

SOMEBODY said the other day, be-
fore Alexandra Dumas, "F'or you
know, if there is enough for six, there
is enough for eight" agreed said
Dumas, elf you speak of candles !;
but if you refer to Champagne or par
triges-no.
Butte record., 1856-08-16

"Well Sally, how did you get along
with that stupid old fool of a lover of
yours? Did you succeed in getting
rid of him %
ooh, yes, l got rid of him very
easily. | married him and have no
lover now."
Butte record., 1856-08-16

A nice dish for breakfast might be
made as follows: Take one egg and
beat it up, add a teaspoon full of salt
pour in about two thirds of pint of
water, then slice some bread, dip it
in and fry in a little butter, serve
warm.
Butte record., 1856-08-16

Gay- A portion of the small combination
of isms opposed to Mr.. Buchanan, say the
democracy have adopted platform with
trap-door in it. How do they expect to see
Fremont and Fillmore executed without
platform and trap-door
Butte record., 1856-08-16

H1ss1Se IN THEATRE.-It is said that a
man has right to hiss, but We doubt the
right of any one to hiss play or act, when
it is annoying to the whole audience and
confuses the actors, and causes disturbance.
1t was, to say the least, in the case Sunday
night, vulgar and low flung.
Butte record., 1856-08-16

EGy- The Black Republican organ in San
Francisco, says Broderick and Gwinn have
been united in political marriage, and
thinks the fruit of the union viii be young
Buck with formidable pair of antlers.
We can assure the organ that it will not
be of the black tailed species
Butte record., 1856-08-16

IT goes great deal towads max
ing a man faithful to let him under
stand that you think him so, and he
that does but suspect that will de-
ceive him, gives me kind of right to
cozen him.
Butte record., 1856-08-16

STEPHENS, in his ''Incidents of
Travel" mentioned that the tomb
stones in the Turkish burying grounds
are all fiat, and contain little hollows
which hold the water after rain,
and attract the birds who resort thith-
er to slake their thirst and sing among
the trees.
Butte record., 1856-08-16

Every woman is, or ought to be,
more or less a child of beauty, and
her occupations should not degrade
her into a drudge.
Butte record., 1856-08-16

A young fellow having been charg-
ed with getting drunk the night be
fore, and wishing to justify himself,
declared che never was drunk, and
never meant to be, fer it always made
him feel so bad the next morning"
Butte record., 1856-08-16

"SAM, how do you like that knife
| sold you last week - $50 so. 1t
Is not very sharp, yet you managed
to shave me with it."
Butte record., 1856-08-16

INJUR1Es.--The noblest remedy
for injuries is oblivion. Light injuries
are made lighter, and heavy ones
have their height taken away by not
regarding them.
Butte record., 1856-08-16
THERE is a sentiment as beautiful

as it is just in the following lines
"He who forgets the fountain from
which he drank, and the tree under
whose shade he gambolled, in the
days Of his youth, is stranger to the
sweetest impressions of the human
hearth
Butte record., 1856-08-16

ANNE Bohemia, consort of Rich
ard III, first introduced the fashion of
riding sideways. Before Anne's time
they rode otherwise.
Butte record., 1856-08-16

Why are Shanghai ROSTERS like
early spring flowers ? Because they
are crOW-cuSSeS.
Butte record., 1856-08-16

They never say it SHOWS in Cali
fornia, but that winter is throwing
its mantle over the ground" So with
an earthquake, they call it "the vi
bration of Heavens footstool." Quite
poetic.
Butte record., 1856-08-16

OLD Joe Bartlett honestly saws:
$50 see an old man, with one foot in
the grave and the other quivering up
on the brink, laughing at morals and
ridiculing religion, is the most detest-
able picture of human depravity which
heart can conceive, or the imagina-
ton paint"
Butte record., 1856-08-16

SIN is never at a stay, if we do not
retreat from it we shall advance in it,
and the farther on we go the more we
have to come back.
Butte record., 1856-08-16

AN itinerant preacher Of Virginia,
being invited to hold forth in one of
the back settlements, took for his
text the words-"Though after my
skin-worms destroy this body, yet in
my flesh shall / see God"-divided
his text into three parts, thus-.frst,
the skin-worms ; seconly, what they
done; and thirdly, what the man
seen after he was eat upo
Butte record., 1856-08-16

To INCREASE THE QUANTITY OF
CREAM.-Have ready two pans in
boiling water, and on the new milk
coming to the dairy, take the hot pans
out of the water, put the milk into
the one and cover it with the other.
This will occasion great increase of
thickness and the quality of the
cream.-.NisS Halls Book.
Butte record., 1856-08-16

SUSPENSION BRIDGE.-A wire sus-
pension bridge is in progress of con-
structlon across the Feather river, at
Bldwell, in Butte county.
Butte record., 1856-08-16

If you want to see a black squall,
Just look at negro baby attacked
with the cholic.
Butte record., 1856-08-16

The influence of pious example
descends downwards from the head
of a family, diffuses itself over the
main body, till it reaches the very
lowest of it.
Butte record., 1856-08-16

EACH Man HAS HIS OwN.--One
can never be the judge of another's
grief. That which is a sorrow to one,
to another is Joy. Let us not dis
pute with any one concerning the re-
ality of their suffering: it is with
SORROWS as with countries-each man
has his his own.
Butte record., 1856-08-16

ng- The @. s. Co. aoe unceasing in their
kind attentions to this Office Abe Rapyele
is one OF their fastest and most obliging
agents. Thanks.
Butte record., 1856-08-16

JONAH wrote to his father, after
the whale had swallowed him, stating
that he had found a good Opening
for a young man going into the oil
business; but afterwards wrote for
money to bring hin home, stating that
he had been confoundedly sucked
in. -
Butte record., 1856-08-16

You've America says one OF our
readers wants to know if joke Is
good for anything after it is "crack-
ed -
Butte record., 1856-08-16

IT becomes the Christian to cherish
hopeful views of his age and race. If
he desponds he will become inactive,
if he despairs, he will become fanati-
cal or insane.
Butte record., 1856-08-16

WE are only interested in others
IN proportion to the interest we take
in ourselves, and look for in conse-
quence from them.
Butte record., 1856-08-16

LET your expenses be such as to
to leave a balance in your pocket.
Ready money is friend in need.
Butte record., 1856-08-16

LET the bricklayers or carpenters
into the house, and it is a precious
long time before you get them out
again.
Butte record., 1856-08-16

An old hater of womankind sarcas
ticaliy remarks that .Aupts are very
industrious. His aunt, when she was
young, was so industrious that she
was constantly licking him, on hands,
on back, side of the head, licking him
all over, 81 must have been sweet
YOUTH" he pleasantly observes.
Butte record., 1856-08-16

SHE that marries a man because he
is a good match," must not be sur
prised if he turns out "a Lucifer."
Butte record., 1856-08-16

Joy is the happiness of love. 1t
is love aware Of its own felicity, and
rioting in riches which it has no fear
of eyhausting.
Butte record., 1856-08-16

Master books, but do not let them
master you. Read to live, but do
not live to read.
Butte record., 1856-08-16

A QUID Pro QUo.-Paris papers
state that ''the privilege of opening
tobacconist shops in Paris is now al
most exclusively reserved fer the
wounded soldiers Of the Crimean ar
my" 1t is only fair that those who
suffered from the firing abroad, should
benefit bv.the smoking at home.
Butte record., 1856-08-16

RIGHT and duty are like two palm
trees, which bear fruit only when
growing side by side.
Butte record., 1856-08-16

'HAvE you read my last speech g.
said prosy M. c. to friend. q
hope So" was the satisfactory reply
Butte record., 1856-08-16

If honest men are the salt of the
earth, pretty girls may be said to be
the sugar. That's SO.
Butte record., 1856-08-16

A very wealthy young ladv of n.
York recenuly dyed for love-turn-
ing her red hair to black.
Butte record., 1856-08-16

The word accident" is now SIM
ply regarded as technical term for
a proceeding common on railways.
Butte record., 1856-08-16

~ Alec Simpson, the whole souled
Forbestown man, is now practicing at the
bar Of Miller's Exchange.
Butte record., 1856-08-16

Why is the Boston almshouse like
Nahant rocks? Because there is a
surge on there.
Butte record., 1856-08-16

ANOTHER revolving pistol has been
invented. 1t has a magazine in two
sections; each capable of containing
seven cartridges, so that the pistol
may be fired fourteen times. The
cartridges are thrown into a revolv-
ing block by means of a spiral spring.
The pistol is self Gaping.
Butte record., 1856-08-16

THERE is paper printed in Ar
kansas on cheese-press. Its hard
ly necessary to say that it does not
throw off sheets quite as fast as a
hea-bitten lodger in a cheap hotel, or
one of Hoes six-cylinder presses.
Butte record., 1856-08-16
A WIRES PRAYER--If there is

A WIFE's PRAYER--lf there is
anything that comes nearer to the
imploration of Ruth to Naomi than
the subjoined, we have not seen it.
'Lord, bless and preserve that
dear person whom thou hast chosen
to be my husband-let his life be long
and blessed, comfortable and holy ;
and let me also become a great bles-
sing unto him, and sharer in all his
sorrows, a meet helper in all the ac-
cidents and changes in this world,
and make amiable forever dear to
him! Unite his heart to me in all the
dearest love and holiness, and mine
to keep in all sweetness, charity COM
pliance ! Keep me from all ungen-
tleness, all discontentedness and un-
reasonableness Of passion and humor,
and make US humble and obedient,
useful aud observant, that we may
delight in each other, according to thy
blessed worth, and both of us may
rejoice in thee, having our portion in
the love and service of God forever
Amen"
Butte record., 1856-08-16

A sign in Ann street, Boston, reads
"Lodgers taken in" We guess there
IS no deception about that "shingle." ;"
Butte record., 1856-08-16

"HUMBLE as | am,'' said a bully
ing spouter to a mass meeting of the
unterrifed, 81 still remember that |
am a fraction of this magnificent re-
public" "You are indeed,' said a
bystander, 'and a vulgar one at that
New clothes are great promoters
Of piety. A new bonnet or new
dress will induce a girl to 90 to church
at least twice on Sunday, where she
did not 90 but fnce before she got it.
Butte record., 1856-08-16

A man in Kentucky was so enor-
mously big that when he died it took
two clergymen and a boy to preach
his fueral sermon.
Butte record., 1856-08-16

INSULTS, says modern philoso-
pher, are like counterfeit money, we
cau't hinder them being offered, but
we are not compelled to take them.
Butte record., 1856-08-16

Len. Taylor is in town. Len. gets exceed
ingly poetical every now and then.
Butte record., 1856-08-16

By a decision of the Cabinet, no
obstacles are to be placed in the way
of vessels or men sailing for Nicara-
O1J1
Butte record., 1856-08-16

A Yankee has invented a plague
which kills off all who do not pay the
printer. 1t is more destructive than
cOnSumntiOn.
Butte record., 1856-08-16
ANALYsIS.-The following is a

ANALYs1s.--The following is a
simple method of analyzing soils of
ordinary agricultural test. Weigh a
convenient quantity of the earth to
be analyzed, say Loo grains, dried
in the open air, dry the same before
fire on paper, so as not to scorch
the paper, re-weigh, and the differ
ence will be the moisture. Roast the
residue, re-weigh, and the difference
will be the organic matter. Pour a
quantity of muriatic acid on the re-
mainder, when stirred and settled
pour it off, and add oxolate of amo-
MIA, the precipitate will be the lime.
Mix remainder with water and stir it
well, when a little settled. pour off
the turbid mixture, and the suspend
ed contents are argillaceous and the
deposit sihcious.-Life Illustrated.
Grand River times. [volume] (Grand Haven, Mich.) 1851-18??, 1856-02-20
ATTENTION. LADIES !

WE the undersigned having long medtated
Wv on the ills pertaining to Bachelor life have
come to the sage conclusion to lay our wants be-
fore the female portion of Grand Haven and vi
cinity; and thereby allowing them to take advan-
tage of time honored custom. We are prepared
to receive scaled proposals until the first of Sep
TENDER, eighteen hundred and ifty-six. We have
no mercenary motives in thus bringing our per-
sons into the matrimonial mart Our sole object
is to secure partner whose mental qualifications
are sufficient to render the domestic circle the
Ultima Thule of attractions. In description, we
the undersigned, are as gentle as lambs In man
ners, extensively engaging. In person, Apollo's.
Our mental qualifications are such that we mas
ter with ease all mathematical problems Greek
quotations and the dead languages. Our pecunia-
ry liabilities are at present limited but our pros
poets are brilliant being engaged in mechanical
pursuits Before entering into the nuptial arrang-
ments it will be necessary to obtain an interview
with the chosen fair one. Please direct all COM
munications TO Ross DEEGAN and ii. d. RODGERS,
Ottawa Iron Works, Ottawa Point, Mich.
February is, 1856. 1890 If.
Grand River times. [volume] (Grand Haven, Mich.) 1851-18??, 1856-02-20
MUSHROOM, Jan. 26, 1856.


FRIEND BARNS: In your issue Of the 9th
inst, you offer your hat if any body can beat
the story of Professor Woodbury. about
manufacturing lumber. Now, we don't want
your hat, though it might be one of Genins
best. But We will put up hat or the
Ready" if required, that those figures have
been beat; can, and will be beat again. Those
unacquainted might suppose from the fact Of
the position of certain sheet iron biped an
imal, perched high on GEORGES smoke stack,
that all Muskegon acquiesced in the story
but Muskegon lumbermen are generally con-
tented with the result of their laborers, with
out sounding it abroad. But if GEORGE and
his galaxy of head sawyers want to try for
the hat, or compare notes, inquire Of or adj
dress STEADY FEED,
Muskegon P. O., Mich.
Grand River times. [volume] (Grand Haven, Mich.) 1851-18??, 1856-02-20

WISCONSIN GovERNoR.-The Superior
Court of the State has decided that Barstow
(dem.) is the legally elected Governor of that
State, as found by the State Canvassers.-
So much for the noise and buster of the Re-
publican Press; first insisting for weeks that
Bashford was elected and then to cover their
defeat, charging fraud and commencing legal
proceedings to carry out the farce. When
will they learn to submit to the will of the
people with good grace.
Grand Rapids Enquirer.