davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Squatter sovereign., 1856-03-11

A JUST n1r.-A few Sundays since, a
stranger clergymen, who was officiating in
a church in Providence. r. Latter read
ing nearly dozen notices. seeing some
half dozen more before him, remarked,
that he supposed he must read them, as he
was not ia his own desk. bui he thought it
really wicked to adopt that method OF cheat
ing the pEinter. 8ns
Squatter sovereign., 1856-03-11
ne The Smithsonian Institute al

B9 The Smithsonian institute are
going, it is said, into minute investiga-
tions OF fhe magnetic needle, which is
now exciting SO much attention.
ES Mr.. Lover tellsa good anecdote
of an Irishman givingt The password At the
battle of Fontenoy at the time the great
SAKE was Marshal
..The password is Saxe----now. don't
forget it. Pat" said the Colonel.
Sacks! Faith, and I viii not Wasn't
my father miller g
'sWho goes there q cried the sentinel.
after be arrived at the post
Pat was wise as an owl, and in a sort
Of whisper how, replied.
Bags yer honor r -
Squatter sovereign., 1856-03-11

Es- Barney, where have you becn."
"To widow Muloney's ball, and anille-
gint time we had Of it; four fights in fifteen
minutes,, and knork-dowiis with the watch-
men that left tut one whole nose in the
house, and that belonged 10 tie tay kettle.
Bedad, the likes were never seen since we
walked ould Donally''
Squatter sovereign., 1856-03-11

80 1t is told of Charles V. tha, af-
ter his abdicntion he endeaYored, for amuse-
ment, TO make two watches go exactly
alike. Failing, after numerous attempts
he exclaimed
Behold. not even two watches can /
bring 10 agree with each other, and yet,
fool that / was, thought that should be
able to govern, like the works Of watch,
SO many nations, all living under different
skies, in different climcs and speaking diff
erent languages
Squatter sovereign., 1856-03-11
OLD InoNs1pE ON THE NAVAL BOARD

OLD IRoNsIpE ON THE NAVAL BOARD.
"A good story is told of Commodore
Stewart-"Old Ironsides-" in connection
with the discussion to which the action of
the late Naval Board has given rise. The
merits and dement's of the Nary being
canyassed in the old Commodore's presence
and the decisions Of the Board, in many
cases, shown to be partial and unjust, he
broke in with this emphatic proposition;
"Let them,' said he, ''equip three fri-
CRATES Of equal size and armament, and
man two of them from among those Retain
ed on the active list, and gave me the
third to be nanned with the retired. fur
loughed, and dropped, and I'll whip the
two, IN an open sea fight.
We would take even bets on the old
Commodore.
Squatter sovereign., 1856-03-11
RM- ..ATr. Smith. YOU said yon

E1 ..Mr.. Smith, you said yoa boar
ded at the Columbian Hotel six months !;
did you foot your bill z''
mo. sir it amounted to the same thing
the landlord footed me"
Verdict for defendant. -
Squatter sovereign., 1856-03-11
Ak EPiTAPH.

Here lies the bones of Ho and Hi,
Whose fate, though sad, was visible,
Being hung because they could not spy
The eclipse that was invisible,
Heigho! It's said love of drink
occasioned ali their trouble;
But this is hardly true think,
As drunken nes see double.
Squatter sovereign., 1856-03-11

Trr-B1rs.-A witty urchin saw his
grandma's spectacles placed upside down,
by accident before the visual orbs above
her ven erable nasal projection!
She was sewing patch on the posterioT
regions of said urehin's incipient panta-
looms, when, with little more archness
than veneration, he exclaimed,
..Grandna! your specks are upside
down. Do you wear them in that way to
see to sew e.
" No. my DEAR" was the reply, 81
wear them so to see.
Bub understood it
Squatter sovereign., 1856-03-11

Ia The best capital for a young man
is capital young wife. So young gent
informs rs who recently go. one.
Squatter sovereign., 1856-03-11

UeH !-Wendall Philips, N lecture in
Bangor, a short time since delivered him
self of the following - i
''If l upset the church, twill be ohiy
;Elat we may get better. believe grass
will grow, wheat will ripen, rivers, bear
ing your commerce, will run TO the ocean,
long after this accursed Union is shattered
into thousand peices, and the slave tread
ing upon its fragments, shall shank God
that he is iTee.''
Squatter sovereign., 1856-03-11

moment of my life with pride that swells
my young bosom almost to bursting; and
when manhood shall close my youthful ca,
reer, and my country shall call me to her
halls of Legislation, there will exercise
every truth and virtue instilled into my
heart by your kind and fatherly tutoring.
These boyish tears of JOY will yet swell to
a gushing stream of ambitions glory, and
then mill i Issk haek to these days, and
with You uppermostin my thoughts. exclaim
's'Twas you, sir, yes. you-that made'me
what am"
"Bravor they both exclaimed.
1 got of the table now, seeing that
had the game in my own hands; and
walking slowly up to the window, gave N.Y.
self up to deep sobbings. and really ap-
peared much affected. = -
The tutor approached me and called me
slowly by name, but l answered him not
and turned slowly away, and walked to the
other side of the room, are,ding the rays
of the lamp which the mistress was direct
ing upon me.
''He is asleep my dear" exclaimed the
tutor, 'sand It must have been the dragging
of the table across the floor which made
such rumbling noise. Give me the lamp
and go bring me basin of water; viii
effect a lasting cure upon our young sem
nalnbulist''
| / heard many suppressed titters. ant
could see sundry corners of sheets goins
into sundry mouths. This nearly destroy
ed my equilibrium but | mastered my
self, and again went to the window, tho
the mention of the basin of water caused |
momentary shudder to shoot through IN,
whole frame. .i
The good dame returned with what
magnfied into an uncommonly large vesse
Of water; but it was no delusion, for III he
haste she brought the flterer, and knew
certain that it was a cold ducking / wa
going to have. Could / escape it2
would try. I walked firstto one bed, the
another; the tutor following with his filtei
er, his wife playing torch-bearer, while ii
heavy dreaming of the possuming sleeper
added to the solemnity Of the scene, sti
walked on, turning away every time b
proposed TO douse me. They had con
, pletely shut of all retreat to my bed; OF
l was at loss what to do next But
was soon relived from this quandery; ft
suddenly the tutor dashed the water in;
< my face, which, of course, put an end
d my somnambulism. l pretended TO
n very much abashed a, my situation, an
e jumped into bed.
t The tutor and mistress having retire
1 from the room, turned my eyes to Ii
); door at which we were standing, and di
d covered that the rag acas taken dway fro
: the key-kole.
Squatter sovereign., 1856-03-11

ng A lady of Lynn recently obtained.
! divorce OF the singular ground or in-i
of charseser.' =
Squatter sovereign., 1856-03-11

E An ardent Sousllcrner. who has
been enrap,ured by. Rose Clark has WITT
ten letter TO Fanny Fern, begging Ler
to send him one OF her old gaiter boots.
Squatter sovereign., 1856-03-11
IS PUBLISHED EVERY TUESDAY
MORNING BY -
Publication Office on C Street.
RATES OF ADVERTISING.

For one square, ten lines or less. -'''' Si W
ZACH additional insertion, per square ...'.. oo %
oue square, three months -. -. ..'a..'.4 W
six months.-...... 80. ...... w
m twelve months ........ ..1a 90
I've squares, three months s...... ...6C0
&c &c six months ...... 80. - 90
{" twelve months ...s -. -. 16 90
One quarter Of column, three months... 10 90
!" 6 six months -. Is 90
+. " (" I" twelve months 20 90
One half Of column, three months. .12 90
a. GO &c six months.... 30 90
I" {" twelve months .35 on
On. column, three months -. ........ 80 90
3" six months -. -.-45 90
q" twelve months. ...... ..-... 60 90
Business cards, eight lines or less, year.5 %
" ak months... ........ 3 90
" three months ...... -. 2 90
fE Announcing Candidates for Office, in
.dyance, S3. If inserted on a credit, candidates
will b. charged eight dollars.
s15 Communications of personal nature,
viii be inserted as advertisements, and charged
for at the rates Of $500 per square, and pay
nsat required in advance.
gT Advertisements not marked on the copy
fsra specific number of insertions, will be con-
tinned until ordered out, and payment exacted
accordingly.
fJ- All advertisements must be paid for in
adrane., or at the expiration Of three months.
ES- All letters addressed to the Editors
mast be POST PAID, to receive attention.
Squatter sovereign., 1856-03-11


EsS- An infrm old gentleman was
found by rogue moaning sadly at some
thing lost.
What's the matter sir !" said the fel-
low.
"Oh, sir, villain just stole my gold
laced hat from my head, and ran away
with it,
Why don't you run after him Z" asked
the rogue.
"Bless your heart, sir, can't run at all
i can hardly walk"
''The deuce you can't said the rogue,
81 and stole your hat 2''
"Yes, he did. sir!''
(" And you can't run2''
ssss Not l."
" Nor catch him 2"
"-No."
a..Then here goesfor your wig!' and. ac.
cordingly pulling off that thatch FOR the
hea d, the fellow went off like a shot, and
the old gentleman was left bald as coot
Squatter sovereign., 1856-03-11

n To one who said,a do not believe
there is an honest man in the world, anoth-
er replied
sit is impossible that one man shosld
know all the world. but quite possible that
one may know himself.
Squatter sovereign., 1856-03-11

s1- A lady was requested by bach
elor, somewhat advanced in years, to take
seat upon his knee, while in crowded
sleigh.
"No, thank you" said she, 81 am
afraid such a old seat would break down.
Squatter sovereign., 1856-03-11
Dry.

pRY. Is.
PLY acknowl-
n him by the
nd solicits a
fshes to call
carefully se-
I be sold very
rs, and a va
L style: Al
of aH sizes,
hool Houses,
at Whole
| and shortest
/ particularly
go
| BRIGGS.
Squatter sovereign., 1856-03-11

Hs Onshe subject of leap year and
the rights and privileges of the ladies, the
Philadelphia Ledger says: .sl ss'es
"Don't be prudish ladies, we beseceh
you any longer. .Matrilnongis is the best
condition for Us bfeies of men as well as
for your charming selves; and you viii
really be deing a service by seizing all
stray bachelors. of this leap year and i'm .
pounding them in na;rimony Some old
rogue once said that marriage was like
those wire rat traps, where hollow cone,
the big end out, invites the victim to enter,
by the smell and sight OF toasted cheese
Within; but when he attemps to leave the
sharp wires the little end of the cone
hints pointediy at the impossibility. The
story Is a wicked libel on matriInony. la.
dies, which is not rat trap, any more than
You are toasted cheese. The man who don't
know that rnatrimony is good for him rs 50
far forth demenfed, and the sooner he is
put into the husbands straight-jaclset the
better for him. You have a prescriptivs
right ciEiiize cur roGgher natures. Frank
lin aptly said that the sexes were halves OF
pair of scissors; and neither was good for
much without the other. Children don't
know what is good for them. neilber DO men
always. So, as leap year is here, make an
onslaught, one and ALL on the bachelors,
and let it be as fierce as farm wife makes
1
ion her poultry a, Christmas. It's the des-
tiny of turkeys to be eaten, and of mea to
marry the girls. Forward uaych."
Squatter sovereign., 1856-03-11

!, has atsIa-
+ that never
y water, but
ives between
good Boats,
|n. All who
remember !
LEY. Iatan-
Squatter sovereign., 1856-03-11

Elrchased in
Q uOnev. L
experienced {
+ sale ploWs
! Of work in
Squatter sovereign., 1856-03-11

Il lue oPPo-
I'm, heavily
Pa.
|of the riv-
|e very best
E opposite
Fertile bot
! bottom is
IN of large
point from
lts can plo-
fhe nearest
Ihe country
giving and
great num-
y find it to
|r shipping
Osawkee,
[good ferry
kansas Ter
|St. Joseph
| the proper
|, as BY this
Unnecessary
|nding, hav-
tedisease--
to the eye a
Fr for miles
(ntry in the
pleasing and
, mechanics
Reir choice.
place. The
fation, that
a trade not
} from such
| In a word,
fination by
Mo-; Peter
worth, Del
Used to dis
} who may
Squatter sovereign., 1856-03-11

LaSs
Pnestic Dry
ls, Cutler,
ready Inaue
} Atchison,
Instantly in
suitable to
| East. My
ling:
F, Spices Of
ks, Lawns,
and Linen
|ripticn.
fere Hats;
Ppers, Cal
+ cash.
Squatter sovereign., 1856-03-11
L IN t.

- -@A -
+ ated in At
offers his
be Territory
, Of Black
III as low as
(ssouri. His
Squatter sovereign., 1856-03-11
AI
,.E1s 81

ID in Kan.
p.f the Mis-
line of ths
Nv Leavcn-
end located
ensely tim
prss, prrounding
health: al.
going up.
? good aud
Squatter sovereign., 1856-03-11

more.
Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, Va. [W. Va.]) 1852-1859, 1856-04-05
change orFeed Horses.

The kind of food for animals should be changed
frequently. a horse long kept on shorts, will
be affected by a feverin his legs and feet produ-
cling a result similar to founder. Shorts, corn
in a mixed state Of cut hay or straw. This will
require them to eat slower and the food is better
prepared for digestion. Ifgiyen alone it fer,
ments rapidly in the stomach, produces general
fever, Injuries the digestive powers, and finally
produces stiffness throughout the limbs
When these results are discovered, the remedy
is a change of food. Continued feeding oats u
lone will produce the same result as shorts, or
feeding and drinking when the horse is warm
Ifnecessity compels person to feed horse on
shorts, corrl-meal or cob meal, supply of salt
should be added to prevent fermentation in the
stomach-OhiO Farmer.
Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, Va. [W. Va.]) 1852-1859, 1856-04-05
Protection of seed Corn

To PgEvHxr the SEED FROM BEING DESTROYED
BY HENs-Thc pig, with full belly, will never .tI
root; the hen, with full crop, will not scratch
the ground. Thercforc-when my hens arc dis.
posed to scratch, [ call them up to the barn, and
give them as much corn as they will eat for
which they always slug to me merry tune, and
lay whole hat full ofeggs.
To PREVENT Crows Iron PULLING CoRS.-I
scatter corn in the field broadcast, which they
feed upon aud leaue the seed. If have too
much company by my liberality, I soak the corn
in strichna and hot water. Last spring, after
scattering half busncl of corn soaked in this
way, picked up forty-two dead crows, and how
many more went off feeling kind of sick, am
not able to state.
Wire and Grub Worms are more difficult Gus
TONERS to deal with-for any poison used for
their distractions always absorbed by the soil,
which is sure protection to them. have new
er found sure remedy for these pests; and can
only secure my seed by planting enough for
their wants and mine too, and if they get more
than their share, plan! new hills few inches
from the old ones thus destroyed, and hill out
at second hoeing.-M. j. P. CREAM HILL, Rut-
land, Vt-C0uatry Gentleman, Mbrch II.
Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, Va. [W. Va.]) 1852-1859, 1856-04-05

TuE PAcrF1c--Captain Nye, late commander
of the Pacific, is out in another letter published
in the:s New York papers. In the course of it
he says:
Alircmembcr the accident to the Atlantic, in
January, 1s51-her return to liverpool, and con
sequent detention for repairs. InNovember fol-
lowing, while the machinery of the Pacific was
being examined preparatory to her sailing for
New York a crack was discovered in the port
journal of the main centre shaft. After sur
vey by the resident engineer, the chief engineer
(Air. Thompson) and myself, it was decided,
that, with care, the ship might reach New York
in safety. The extensive repairs necessary
to our wheels, occupied the time night and
day and precludcd the possibility of turning
the engines until three hours before sailing. l
then ascertaincd there was crack on the oppo-
site side of the shaft. The hour of sailing, g
o'clock a. m, allowed no time to communicate
with the agents. Thus, / found myself in a
After consulting with my chief engineer, and
deciding on the amount of steam which might be
safely carried with the shaft in that condition,
decided to assume the responsibility aad proceed
on the voyage. requested Mr.. Jack, the resi-
dent engineer, 0he only person in Liverpool
cogniZant of the fact,) not to name it, and thus
avoid creating unnecessary anxiety. The event
justified my decision. In eleven days the ship
was at her dock in New York. No one outside
the engine room was aware that anything was
amiss; nor was it even known to the public
that the ship required new shaft at that tine
To remain in Liverpool would have been most
disastrous. The ship was loaded; passengers
coming on board; We should have failed to per-
form our mail contract. Not to speak of the
greater expense ofrepairs on that side, we should
have had the modification of a second detention
within the year, and renewal of the sneers of
the British public at American machinery; while
the company was nearly bankrupt, and seeking
the extra appropriation from Congress, which
was necessary to its existence. No one was
more directly benefited by the result than the
Messrs Brown, they holding large amount of
stock. My own pecuniary interest was too tri-
fling to be weighed against the racking anxiety
and slecplcss vigilance required. Knight, there
fore, have preferred claim to some degree of
patriotism" and greater portion of fidelity to
the interests of the company. This, lam happy
to say, was fully appreciated by all interested
except the MeSsrs. Brown.
captain Nye goes on to say that for pursuing
this line of Conduct he was followed by letter
from the MesSrs. Brown, of Liverpool, COM
planning that he assumed too much response
bility," and seems to imagine that lac was un-
justly censurcd. We think prudent and dis
corning public will not sympathize with Captain
Nye in this particular, and that their decision
viii be that he acted with q criminal degree of
rashness that should have been Immediately
punished by removal from the command of the
vessel
Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, Va. [W. Va.]) 1852-1859, 1856-04-05

EAn amusing anecdote is told of a clergy
man. n very superior and excellent man, though
at times rather prone to fits of absence or men
al abstraction. One fine summer day he had
occasion to cross brook, the bed Of which,
thought by no means considerable, was yet too
wide to be cleared at bound In these circum-
stances, the thought struck him that he would
save time and trouble to strip of one shoe and
stoekine. and then hop through to the other side.
Accordingly, he did so; but unfortunately, on
entering the water, he put the wrong foot in re-
QUESTION. and discovered, when he gained the
opposite bank that he had drenched the clothed
limb nearly to the knee, while the naked one,
remained IS dry and comfortable as leg, or q
knee. or a brace Of them, could well he.
Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, Va. [W. Va.]) 1852-1859, 1856-04-05
ARn YOU SICK q

Then you can't Don't delay until your
complaint Is ncurabe, then when Is too late
Four-nhs diseases which people the church yards
might be cured by Ayers Catarc Pills. II taken in season.
Don't so dragging through the Spring, faint sleepy and list
less because your loaded with bile. DON'T wear The
Headache Heartburn their Kindred disorders, because
your stomach is foul Don't parade yourself around the
world covered Pmrles Boehes, Ulcers, Sores and all
or any of the uncleAn diseases skim because
TEN wants cleansing Don't show yourself about lean, haS
gard all cave In Stomach ind Bowels need
strengthening into healthy action Ayers pills set these
things right as surely quenccs fre They purify
the body blood aud restore their functions into healthy
activity which You can feel rs quick as they are They
arc the one great medical of this age, recognized h
all who know virtues and many thousands know them
Take the Cherry Pictorial for Cough, and the Ls for all
arrangements requiring Purgative medicine.
Prepared by Dr. j. c. Aver, Lowell Massachusetts-and
sold by all Druggists in Wheeling.
A. c. GOOD & CO., Wheeling,
fe4 Wholesale and Retail Agents.
Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, Va. [W. Va.]) 1852-1859, 1856-04-05
sEIEoTING Seed CORN.

Every eoFn-groMer is sensible of the greatim-
pOrtance ofplanting good seed corn There IS
nothing-s so discourageing to tho farmer as'to be
under the necessity of planting his crop the sec
ond time-tos be re!planting or furrowing out
the second time, when his neighbor is cnltyatng
his corn. On the other hand, how very aninla-
ting to have the corn come up well-to have
what we call "a good stand" Theprcyious Gull
tivation and preparation of the land having been
through, the crop is considered half madei and
the after culture is a source of great delight
witha fairprospect of being amply rewarded for
the labor bestowed
1t is the practice with some farmers ofmy ac-
quaintance to send the boys or servants to shell
seed corn, after every other preparation has been
made for planting the crop, without giving any
directions us to the quality or variety; and if
they possessed the Judgment have not time to
make judicious selection.
If farmer procures a good variety of corn,
and pursues SUCH course, twill soon degene-
rate to a very common article. Who ever knew
a farmer to improve his stock of cattle or hogs
without wisely selecting the very best formed
animals as breeders? But he frequently advises
with his neighbor to strengthen his Judgment on
some points.
There object of this article is to call theattcn-
ton of the corn growers to the great failure of
corn to vegetate in the spring of 1852, Qour
years sincc)
The were various cohjecturcs as to the cause
Of the failure Some attributed it to the expo
sure, standing out during the winter; others, to
the extreme cold winter; and others to the fact
that it was not fully maturcd and dry when the
winter set in. A similar result may be antici-
patcd this year, and it bchooves every farmer to
give this subject more than ordinary attention
att this time
By Smelling a few grains from different ears,
and examining it closely you can discoveran I'M
natural transparency in some of the grains, or in
grains from some of the ears.
have examined some lots of corn in which
this popularity existed throughout l would
advise all who have any misgivings about the
vegetable powers of their corn, to test it by
sprouting small quantity before planting By
such precaution aagreat deal of trouble and loss
might be avoided. BIB.
Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, Va. [W. Va.]) 1852-1859, 1856-04-05

SANDWICH IsLASDs-THe Volcano at HiIo.-
The Honolulu Friend shows the terrific progress
ofthe lava flood which threatens with destruc-
ton the beautiful town and bay of Hilo; but
what seems most singular to an energetic peo-
pie like ourselvesis the apathy of the inhabitants,
who arc looking on bewildered, but taking no
means to divert the frey element from its course
The sides and surface ofthe stream of lava ex-
posed to the air soon cool into crust, below
which the advancing mass keeps forcing pas
sage. 1t is represented as being easily control
ed and turned into new channels Sometimes
thehard sides are tapped and streams let out
which flow almost Mt right angles with the gem
eral current The Friend says:
Every day tarkcns the prospect of Hilo The
stream comes in great force some two miles a
week. Three or four miles will bring it through
the woods 1t follows water channels, dries up
aqueous matter, and forms frey cascades of
terrible sublimity. Itheads Streight down up
on us, and nothing but the hand of omniPotcnce
can save OUR town and bay. Our expulsion
seems every day more and more solemn Tcali-
ty. Molten fires are cleaning, trees are falling,
jungle is consuming, rivers are boiling aud as
cending in steam clouds