Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1856-01-24
&eaoing.
DYING ADVICE OF MIR. sM1RK.

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DYING ADVICE OF MR. sM1RK.
Simon Smirk was his death bed. His son
Samuel was standing by his side; and while
heswas holding his fathers hand, his father
spoke TO him as follows:
sSammy, I am dying-at the age of fifty.
five. Iwish you to pay strict attention to my
dying advice"
ttFather, will"
0And I wish you to follow my advice after
I am dead"
sI will, father"
s'Sammy, the neighbors and all my friends
tell me havn't an enemy in the world, and I
believe haven't. want you to understand
why haven't It's all owing to policy, Sam
policy, and nothing shorter. When was Of
your age, my boy, was as poor as broken
down village horse, turned out to die. Age
has at last broken me down, but amt poor,
thank policy! Follow my example, and you
will become richer by far than your father,
Sammy, and die without an enemy, as I do"
- Samuel wept, as in duty bound, but grief
and his handkerchief choked his utterance, 80
he said nothing.
sIt has always been my policy" resumed
the dying smirk, "to avoid giving offence to
any one. No matter what people said or did
TO me-or any one else-right or wrong-I
have always endeavoredt to forbear and submit,
wherever could to be calm and cautious on
all occasions, and to avoid the exhibition of
any sign of resentment. By long experience
in this course, I have found that by persever-
ing to agree with everybody, skilfully, is a
sure eventual guide to universal popularity"
"But have You never had any difficulty with
any one 7"
ssNot since I Was twenty-one," said the dy-
ing man, gssping for breath. "Reach me a
little more water, and wet my lips. They are
too parched to speak plain. There, there" he
added, as his son obeyed him; ssthat will do,
and you shall be initiated into my invariable,
invaluable policy. Be deferential, Sam, def.
erential, and control your temper, and Aatter
whenever you get 9 ohance-have bow, and
smile, and word, and shake of the hand
for everybody-mark! for euerybody-and
then you will get along"
aBut I mustn't be friendly to Williams, must
Iw
"Friendly humph be friendly to nobody
seem so. Williams they compose two-thirds
Of the community, and are the most inauen-
tial. As for the other third, though it is well
enough to keep their good opinion, they are
only subordinate agents in the building up of
man. But don't get afronted with them
Oh, no, Sam; never do that Never kick
dog unless you are sure he hasn't any owner,
then kick away, if You like"
Though his father was dying, Samuel could
not help smiling at his language.
aThafs right" said the elder Smirk, 81
like that Smile again, Sam, smile again. By
smiling I have gained many friend. But be
careful you don't smile at the wrong time. A
smile is powerful weapon, but it must be u.s.
ed with judgment. :.
"Do you know, Sam, why I was always
such favorite with the women?"
"No, father"
al was always careful, in the first place, to
feel my way with the women; took careto un.
derstand their sentiments, their particular van
tiles and hobbies keeping my own ideas in
the back ground until I could coincide with
theirs. I always took care never to speak dis
respectfully of the sex. never, in the pres
ence of woman, called a woman a woman
or female I had but one name-ladies
for all the feminine gender"
81 would agree with one, and at the same
time wink at the others silly, as mach as to
say t'tis all humbug, what am saying. IF q
woman was ugly, I'd praise her intellect. If
she didn't know anything, I'd praise her vir-
tue. In this way seldom missed the mark
for it is seldom that you find woman that is
ugly, immoral, and fool in the bargain. In
fact, it is hard to find anybody who hasn't
some good point, or who isn't susceptible to
.fattery in some way or other; and man must
be fool, who, determined to hatter and make
his flattery acceptable, can't seize hold of some
merit, in mind, heart, form or face of the per-
son he wishes to please, and, feigning to ad-
mire it, make that person friendly"
"Must be stingy, or liberal?"
"Oh, be iberal-be liberal, by all MEANS"
said the dying man, with a ghastly smile
stthat is, in sentiment. Whenever generous
deed is done, exalt it to the skies. Always
praise generous people. Clap your hands for
philanthrophy, and then clap them in your
pocket, and keep them there"
s'Suppose beggar asks aims of me, or I
am called on to contribute to some charitable
object?"
elf any person bsgs, say, certainly, my
poor woman or tmy man. or smy child and
then quickly feel in your pockets. You will
find no money, Of course; but you must say,
with sigh, and tear in your eye, if you can
scare up one, I'm really ashamed to own it,
but, unfortunately, haven't a cent about me.
If you don't get God bless you for that,
I'm mistaken. I never found it to fail"
"But subscription ?"
"Read the paper, praise the object, but say
that you have just subscribed far more than
you could afford, for another object of sim.
liar nature. If the applicant believes by this
that you are in the charitable line, he will lie,
you of, whereas, if you refused out and out,
without an explanation, he might abuse you