Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1856-04-09
THE BIRTH OF AN AMERICAN PRINCE

PROGRAMME OF TIE CEREMONIAL TO BE OBJ
SERVED ON TIE BIRTH or A CHILD 10 Mr..
DIGGs, ONE OF TIE sovEREIeSs OF AMERICA.
When Mrs Diggs begins TO feel that the
long expected time has az last arrived, she
VIII wake Diggs from the sound sleep he will
DC enjoying, and on his asking What is the
matter f' he will be informed by Mrs Digs
as soon as Diggs can hastily get on his panta-
looms, boots and coat, he shall take the orders
M1I M mrs Diggs and 60 immediately for the
Nurse, the Grand Mistress of Diggs' house
noid, as soon as she steps her foot within his
uoof, ana after escorting the Grand Mistress
90 tne SAID door, he shall inform the family
physician, who shall Immediately repair to
the Diggs Castle. Diggs shall also convex the
information Of what is trsnspiring to ali who
hold rank in his household. His mother.in-
law-she shall appear in whatever clothes she
can find handy, the state Of her nerves on
learning the facts, being in such a condition
as 10 prevent an elaborate toilet On arriving
at the Diggs Castle, she shall exclain,. 4. Ar
my poor, dear Emily" and look at Diggs, as
if she thought him the worst of criminals.
Digs, on receiving this look in silence, shall
cause the head cook and the Maid of the Bed
chambers to be called, and be in waiting in
an ante-room for whatever orders the Grand
Mistress of the Household may send them
Diggs is expected to faithfully execute all
these orders in not less than ten minutes, and
when they are accomplished, Diggs is at lib
erty to retire to hie private apartments and
there await further orders from the Grand
Mistress Of the Household. In the mean
while his nervous system may require a little
weak toddy, and in the intervals of propping
his nerves, Diggs shall frequently declare
that he wishes the thing was all over
In the chamber Of Mrs. Diggs there shall
only be the physician, the Grand Mistress of
the Household aud the mother-in-law The
latter distinguished parsonage, before many
days, will make an effort to outrank the Grand
Mistress of the Household, and in the tilts
which ensue consequent upon this effort, Diggs
is expected to take both sides and carry water
on both shoulders. The cook shall retire to
the kitchen, stir up the fire, and hold herself
ready for any service needed. The Maid of
the Bed Chambers sh all assemble herself any,
where within calling distance from the door
of Mrs Diggs' apartment, and when the
Grand Mistress of the Household gives her
orders and tells her not to be all day about it
she shall obey them.
At the moment at which the signs are pro-
pitiOus, Diggs shall be informed that il is
nearly all over Diggs will put moro ques-
tlons than can be answered, and he will be
told to wait little while longer, that his dear
Emily is bearing up wonderfully, and fire.
quently calls upon her dear Tommy Thomas
Diggs shall sigh, and wish il was all over
again.
In the morning, when the room is put to
rights, DigSs shall be called to Mrs. Diggss
apartments, and the child shall be presented
to him by the Grand Mistress Of the House
hold, and Diggs shall examine it first with
profound astonishment, and then assuming a
jovial air shall touch its little cheek and call
1t & the dear weeny, beeny little thing" "
Diggs shall then kiss his dear Emily about
one dozen times, and express much sympathy
for her suferings. Mrs Diggs will then give
him distinctly to understand that that child is
the last, and that men have no idea Of the
suferings of poor woman. The child's name
having been long fixed, Diggs shall then pro-
ceed to the parler, and, taking down the fam
lily Bible shall make a minute (proces rerboD
OF the birth of the child, in accordance with
the long established usages of the American
sovereigus
Soon after daylight the aunts, the cousins.
and all the relations that are recognised by
the family, including all the relations of the
mother-in-law, shall call at the house, and be
informed Of all the particulars by the mother
in law. The cook and maid of the bed cham
bers will convey the intelligence over the back
yard fence to the cook and maid Of the bed
chambers next door, and they will convey it
to the cook and maid Of the bed chambers Of
the second yard, so that every family in the
block shall receive intelligence Of the joyful
event by breakfast time
Diggs will then take his breakfast without
grumbling about the cookery, and proceed to
his place of business. By his manner Diggs
will indicate to his sovereigns whether the
child is boy CT q girl If it is a boy, Diggs
will be unusually liyely-he will walk with a
spring-his face will be covered with smiles;
he will, in fact, make every one he meets ex-
claim, there goes happy dog" If it is a
girl, he will feel happy and look happy, but
his happiness will be subdued, quiet and
calm. When he arrives at his place of bust
ness, he will there proclaim the great event,
and is not expected to notice any little joke
which may be perpetrated at his expense.
Diggs will return home at least six times
during the first day. He will look at the child
six times, and tickling it. cheek with his
finger, will sometimes exclaim-'' Oh, the
dear weeny, beeny little thing" Diggs will
take all orders to the Pharmacopolist, and
the Pharmacopolist is expected to be uuu-
sually elated with the news. The Pharma-
cOpoIist will congratulate him in set terms,
and will ask how they are doing. Diggs will
inform him that they are doing as well as
could be expected under the circumstances,
and will 60 into particulars, with which the
Pharmacopolist will be highly delighted, and,
if an opportunity is offered, is expected to air
his knowledge Of the whole business
In four weeks after the birth Of the child,
the Grand Mistress of the Household will va
cate the premises. Diggs will then receive
strict orders that he is not expected to 90 cat
after tea. The dear weeny, beeny little thing
will always be sick after tea, and he must
help his dear Emily to keep it quiet, and get
it sound asleep. He must must also hold him.
self in readiness to get up at least six times
every night. And during the night his only
sleep is cat maps, he will be extensively in
the catnip trade, that article being found very
necessary for the health of the dear weeny,
beeny little thing.
In about six months after the event Diggs
will have some experience in domestic life,
and will find that it has its duties and cares
as well as it's pleasures philadelphia Buk-
Lettn.
AN INTERESTING STORY" Shon, mine
shon" said n worthy German father TO his