Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1856-01-24
WHAT WE ALL DO.

An amusing and even instructive hour may
be spent, if one will but search out from the
confused figures of the census, the number of
persons following various occupations in the
United States. Thus we rejoice, as nation,
in having two thousand persons who pronounce
themselves artists, though there are probably
not score who live in mems memories, and
certainly not one who appears likely to de-
throne Raphael. Of authors we have, accor-
ding to the census, eighty-two; that is, but
eighty-two are willing to confess to "genius
and garrett" though, if publishers advertise
ments are to be credited, every month gives
birth to a new literary star, and one more bril-
liant than any that ever went before. To pass
to bank officers and brokers is q natural tran
sition, and of the former we are favored with
1400; of the latter with six thousand, exem-
plifying the old adage, that "it never rains but
it pours," and that "blessings never come sim
gly." Luckily, there are hundred thousand
good, honest stout-hearted blacksmiths, as a
make-weight against this Egyptian plague of
flies in the shape of brokers and bankers
Moreover, there are six thousand BARRIERS to
"shave" the six thousand brokers, and thus
revenge the community, which is so essential
ly t'shaved" by the latter.
We have two millions and half of farm
ers, seventy thousand Marines one hundred
thousand merchants; sixty four thousand ma
sons, and nearly two hundred thousand car
penters. We have fourteen thousand bakers
to make our bread; twenty four.thousand law
yers to set US by the ears; forty thousand doc
tors to "kill or cure" and fifteen hundred ed
itors to keep this motley mass in order, by the
potent power of public opinion, controlled and
manufactured through the press. We have
eleven thousand hatters; ten thousand tobac-
conists, and thirty-one thousand weavers. A
gainst thirty thousand teachers we can set off
fifty thousand tailors, so that we care nearly
twice as much for adorning the body that we
do for decking out the mind. Only twenty
down as servants, though most Of us serve 9th
ers in some capacity or others. From the
boot-black, who polishes our shoes, to the
bookseller, who brightens the public intellect.
Nobody, according to the census, follows the
trade of politician, though there are enough
heaven knows, in this city alone to have con-
demned a dozen Sodoms and Gomorrahs-
The census fails to record, likewise, the exis-
tence of any patriots among us, though we
have long thought that patriotism was especi-
ally profession, profession and nothing else.
The forty thousand PHYSICIANS support five
hundred undertakers, which gives the impor-
tant statistical fact, that it takes eighty doc
tors to keep one undertaken in brief bust
ness. We have fifteen hundred wagon ma
kers; three thousand watchmakers; seventy
eight vinegar makers, including, we suppose,
all the cross wives, crusty bachelors, and YER
juice old maids; thirty thousand wheelwrig ghts
and thirty-three showmen. We have four
thousand cutters; twenty-three thousand sad
lers; and five thousand railroad men. We
have one hundred and ifty-four opticians and
ten occulists, but nearly four thousand confec-
tioners, proving that we are infinitely more for
eating than eye-sight. This reminds US that
there are five thousand brewers, and seven
hundred wine dealers, but the census, strange
to say, is silent as to the number who drink
the beer and 'quaff the rosy" In all, we
have about five millions and a half, above the
age of fifteen years, who are busily en-
ployed at some trade, profession, or other oc-
cupation, by which to earn livelihood. tits
plain that we are not nation of sluggards. -
We nearly all do something. Nay to be an
idle drone is happily no recommendation in
America, as it is in the monarchial and aristo-
cratic countries of Europe.-Phh Ledger.