The south-western. [volume] (Shreveport, La.) 1852-1870, 1856-12-24

wrongfully fell in love with handsome Sc
want girl by the name of Martin, (perhaps
connection of High Betty, tiptoe finely Mi
Martin returned the compliment, and fell
love with Mr. King. On Monday of last wee
Mr.. King proposed elopement to Miss MART
Miss Martin says. "the very thing; where sha
we go?" Mr.. King said, "Ohio, BY the wa
of Albany and Central railroad; Miss MART
Immediately set about packing up" NJ
King did the same. Having packed up. the
packed off, They took first train west. The
stopped at Buffalo, where Miss Martin fell j
love with young man by the name of Corne
Illus, and eIoped again, taking with her Mr.
Kings clothing, and all his money save min
dollars. Mr.. King became conscientious, AMI
said he would sin no more, but return to BIZ
wife. He returned to Albany on Sunday. HI
left for Kingston on Monday morning. Or
reaching home, astonished again. During his
absence with Miss Martin, Mrs King recover
ed her health, and fell in love with a New Y ork
dry goods clerk, by the name of Jeffers, and
eloped with him. Mrs. King not only left her
home, but she took with her all the movable
property except a cracked dinner-pot and six
Maltese kittens. Mr.. King, looking upon him.
self as a badly injured individual, went in pur
suit of Mrs. King and Mr.. LETTERS. He traced
them to Albany, where he lost track of them.
He offers one hundred dollars reward for dis
covery Of their whereabouts.
Homer was beggar; Plutus died in iail:
Paul Borghese had fourteen trades, vet star
we'd with them all; Tasso was often distressed
Tor few shlllIngs; Camens, the writer of the
"Lusaid," ended his days in an alms-house
and Vaugelas left his body to the surgeons to
pay his debts. In England, Bacon lived life
of meanness and distress. Sir Walter Raleigh
died on the scaffold Spenser died in want
Milton sold his copyrigh of paradise LOST
for fifteen pounds, and died in obscuritv; o. |
way persisted OF hunger; Lee died in the |
streets; Dryden lived in poverty and distress;
Steele was In perpetual war with the balitfs;
Goldsmith's ''Vicar of Wakefield" was sold
for trlfe, to save him from the grasp of the
law; Richard Savage died in prison, at Bristol,
for debt of eight pounds; Butler lived in pe-
nury and died poor; Chatterdon, the child of
genius and misfortune, destroyed himself.
Look at the hand. A little organ, but how
curiousl wrought! How manifold and neces-
sary are its functions! What an agent has j,
been for the wants and designs of man! What
would the mind be without it? How has it
moulded and made palpable the conceptions Of
that mind! 1t wrought the statue of Memnon,
and hung the brazen gates of Thebes; it fixed
the mariners trembling needle upon its axis:
1t heaved the bar of the first printing press; it
the tubes of Galilee; it reefed the
topsals of Columbus; it held the sword with
which freedom fought her battles; poised the
axe of the dauntless woodman; opened the
path of civilization 1t turned the mystic leaves
upon which Milton and Shakespeare inscribed
their burning thoughts, and it signed the char
Ter of Americas liberty. Who would not rem =
der honor to the hand? II
A horse dealer in Chicago has contrired an
ingenious method Of preventing the intrusion of
;onstables on his premises, to serve civil pro-
'esses. On one side of his doorway is saw Q
'se bull dog, whose chain reaches halfway Il
cross the opening, and on the other side, an =
lntamed bear, with similar extent of chain.
Of course there there is ''no Thoroughbred"
care you an odd fellow" No, sir-I'
ave been married week" Il mean do you
elong to the order Of odd fellows?' mol r
eIong to the order of married men, "Tbun-
er! how dumb! Are you mason?" ..No. =
m carpenter Worse and worsel Are r
gu son Of Temperament" "Confound Won |
.! l am son of Mr. John Gosling." The
uerist went his ways.
Man is an odd genus-made up of all kinds |
materials. He is grave to-day, and CAV to- q
orrow; In the suds of dependency this mo-
ent, and sailing in the car of hope the next. =
ew passions rule him. Anon child islead |
z HIM. Last month he made his fortune. and =.
III lose 1t next. Is not man very queer com In
,und? br
+What are You staring at, sir, may | ask?'' br
i'd an imperialed noustached "biood, to sal
loosier' on Mississippi steamboat, who had 4
en- watching him, AS cat watches a mouse :
some fifteen minutes. ID
II thought SOP exclaimed the "boosier ,, !ln
moment the other spoke; Il said You d got
mouth, and was only waitin' to be sartn z
out it, TO ask You to s.liouor.'' STRANGER \
latll you drink? or had you rather fight bo
mt care which myself" DO
Said young lady at dinner the other day: Tor
bis soup is as hot as love- 4
Yes sighed the elderly maiden LADY in \
npany, "and it cools as easily" ~
As the elderly maiden lady uttered these :
chng words, she cast reproachful glance +
Frederick, who had lately fallen off in his -
entons and devoted himself to flounced
dress and contents, new arrival -
Frederick held down his head. and appeared -
be deeply absorbed in the dissection of an al
'cate slice of roast mutton. All the board =,
exchanged looks; but no one spoke. =
Mr.. Sgsbee, you said the defendant was n
oFe; how do you know that?'' -,
He reads novels upside down, and writes ,Ot
try in the day book when il should be sim by
cheese ~
Any other answer9' y
Yes sir; he shaves without lather, and very a
4 mistakes the sleeves of his coat for the n
of his pantaloons, an error which he does ID
discover till he tries to fasten the tail to his
enders." q
-iticus says the difference between sue -
ul lover and his rival is, that one kisses by
Mss, and the other misses his kiss. A dis IN
on and difference. u
i old maid who hates the male sex most ar az
nously, cut a female acquaintance recent A
no complmented her upon the buorancy ~
+ spirits y.
ppiness is perfume that one cannot shed Df
another without few drops falling on :
self