Mineral Point tribune. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1854-1858, 1856-08-12

Bat poor Uncle James too old To asht
And too old to away,
Sc Uncle James woke one morning bright
And found ne had lost the dav.
cHoRUs-Then lay down the fiddle and the bow,
Take up the shovel and the hoe,
And Well dig big hole for old Uncle James
And bury him deep aud low.
arlftr.
Is A lawyer had his portrait taken in his
iavorite attitude, standing with his hands in
MS pockets the picture was shown to a wae
and asked If 1t did not look natural TO which
the wag replied. 1T would resemble YOU more
closely il you had your hands in your clients
pocket.
- If you would please fool. you must &C;
like one. The cluckle head who goes to sleer
over Hamlet, viii laugh his boots off at the Sc.
cond rate joke of a fourth rate clown If you
would interest men. you should only be one
step above level
IS \ country girl, coming from the field
was told by her cousin that she looked as fresh
IS daisy kissed with dew We'll, it wasn't
any feller by that name, but Bill Jones kissed
me; confo';nd his picture, told him that every
body would find it cut
Is The King Of DaLomey, an African mon
arch (says Il recent traveler) keeps drum kard
feeds him and exhibits him at the customs, that
his emaeiaied appearance may shame his peo-
pie from making beasts of themselves.
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- one of the Hiseries of human life is be-
ing Il coinPosi;or on newspaper, and having to
insert the marriage CT the girl YOU love, with
man old enough to be your father-,he differ
ence IS. be is rich and you are poor
~ II Is Tery true 10 find ground which
produces nothing, ifit is not covered with flow
ers, with fruit trees and grains. it produces bri
ars and pines. l. is the same with man if he
IS not vir;uo,is, he becomes vicious.
IS The Emperor Of China, instead of paving
the doctor as We do when We are unwelI. "a
soon as lie is taken ILL., stops the pay of his phys
lcians, and does not renew it until be is quite
well again.
iE 4 man carrying cradle was stopped
by an old woman. and thus accos;ed. so sir.
you have got some of the fruits OF matrimonv
Softly, old lady said he, YOU mistake tlis Is
merely the fruit-basket'
Is Some wise man sail wears ago ..If vou
want to learn human nature get married to a
spunky girl move into house with another
family and slap one Of the young ones, and then
you'll learn it,"
s8- Charles Lamb hit the hydropathists
when he said: Water cure is as old as the
deluge only that the first application happened
to Kill more than it cured
sS There is something amusing in the SIM
pliclty of the little girl. who asked a Younger
sister to spell "cat." and upon being told she
could not do it. desired her TO Try kitten" then
s The Chinese have thoughtful proyerb :
The prison is shut night and day-vet it is
always full; the temples are always opeu-and
yet you find no one in them
sE IL you wish to talk with ease, talk with
person Of Information. Converse with an ig-
noramus for an hour, and you viii become as
big dolt as he IS
s Mr. Hammond. assistant editor of the
Albany Register, says he not born rich, and
thinks it doubtful piece of luck that he
was born at all.
~ The following contains the alphabet ot
the English language: John P. Brady gave
me 4 black walnut box of quite a small size.
sH : Texas editor, noticing the marriage OF
contemporary, says; We wish him posierity
and happiness.
e An editor down south says he never dot
ted an / bet once in his life. and that in
fight with contemporary.
aS A woman adv ertising for a husband wants
him 10 be not only strictly religious but of gooe
character
~ Seeding is the pepper of matrimony
and The ladies are the pepper-boxes- So say'
an old fogy bachelor.
IS a good daughter is the morning sunligh
and evening star OF her parents house.
- All that Is truly good and beautiful II
lie blooms around the altar of domestic love.
- What utility is there in killing hogs
they are cured directly afterwards?
IS Moderation is the silken string runDln:
through the pearl-chain of ali virtues
IS Swift declared that he was 100 proud 4
A.a.- L., 1