The southern enterprise. [volume] (Greenville, S.C.) 1854-1870, 1856-02-21
81 5turlJ ut 5illglr Iifr.
"a 8achsiof's Jfou sizes s !, :
by rnrSEAs pnuM.pfi.g.

|
t9}5Si by pHrNEAs PHUMBLE. -
Come. while you set silent, I'll have YOU to hear
The truth or lie from an old bachelare -, 80
Iheyl set and they'll thi NIX. till they wear out
And wish for wife-1but, alas 'tis in vain.
81 49, Sing down-derry downipi ~
COMPOUND the luck Here I've been
half an hour looking for my Sunday boots,
and finally, ! found one of Them on the cen.
tire table beneath thousand, more or less,
books and papers, and the other way back
In cuddy-hole, where store away old rub
bush. Well, Fve found my clean shirt at
last; and where do you think it wasl L
hope to holler If hadn't put it in my hat
box ;and my hat | had placed in chest
where 1 keep my linen. Hat all smashed to
thunder cost five dollars--oh, oh ~
Je-ru-sa-lem Here's discovery. This
shirt hasn't got button on it--and the wrist
bands and collar are all frizzled up with "der
liceurs" like the frihges Q believe that's the
name) on wornan's-what dye call em l---
neck encircler that's near enough, any way.
Mby. whats- -thaamail.r- -with. 1tLis- shirt. A.
Rap! Icant get it of, nor on, Rip that's
the way the money goes. Shirt cost one
dollar and half; another expense, by Jupi-
teri Crackee how cold it is l,why the fire
has '.clean gin out" That's another Job
Crack--crack--phizz! Why, what's the
matter with the. Goals Come to think, L
threw spail of water over them. Have to
borrow some splnters.
AIRS. Sanctlmonious, will you give me a
few splinters |"
MERCY on us Why, if Mr.. Phumb!e
hasn't come right ont afore me, with moth
ing on but his breeches! and his wig is off,
too. Law snkes Inever knew lie more a
wig!" ,.., = =.
Q, dear! Why didn't throw something
over mel My wig is of, too. Now it'll be
all over town in few minutes, that Plum
ble wea-s wig Wouldn't have it known
for nifty dollars. No, stree! 4.s-
Well, must have a fire, some way. Let
nae see Blowed if don't make splinters
of that old wash stand it isn't of any use to
me; and the wash bowl will do just as well
on my Linen chest. Truly, necessity is the
mother of invention.
Slap bang That's the way to use old
rubbish. Whizi bang! There's something
| coming.
"Mr. Phumble how can you make such a
racket ON the Sabbath day !"
@s"Allow me to tell YOU, Mrs. Sanctimoni-
Gus, that it's none of your businessl Ireck
on fm lord Of my own room, if do live in
boarding house and il wanted to, Pd
break my neck, for all of your'
"Mighty fine talk, Mr.. Phumble--miglty
fine, yoa old hedgehog Oh, mercy, ifyou
havn't broken up my wash stand--my IA
vorite wash stand, the last gift of my dear,
departed husband. Boo ! hoo hoo % Q
Tears for an old wash stand Bothera-
ton ]! I'D rather hear it thunder any time,
than to see woman in tears and hear her
blubberiDg. My heart begins to melt-it's
ali running down." like clock, or butter
on a hot summer's day. y
"Dear, Mrs. Sancty-heaven bless you =
Here's ten, for smashing your treasure
Now dry up; there's a good woman--and
please leave this room in q triAe shorter than
half dozen seconds tag
"Dear, Mr.. Phumble !! ten dollars, as live
why, that's enough to pay for half dozen
such keepsakes What winning ways the
mans got you're jewel, Mr.. Phunble--
that you are" seaa, s.35Tssoa -
And you're confounded old swindler !
ten dollars gone TO her caoacious pocket. /
wish my heart was made of iron.
Well, the fre's going at last. Crack
crack--whiz--turr-r-r; what a cheerful
glow it sends through the roomi But it
cost ten dollars. That's very much like
| lighting cigars with ten dollar bills.
"Well, what am to do for shirt -
Thank fortune, and my usual foresight, I've
got half a dozen in my chest---,ny wash
stand rather, as IL is now. What wonderful
knscs have Of killing two s;Tts ; Wit; with i.s
oD- hall 4, al.