Raftsman's journal. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1854-1948, 1856-06-04
sPARRowGRAss GETS A DumB.wAITER.


by & Jackson, New York. 1t might be wei
cupboard, which is raised and lowered on pull
leys from kitchen in the basement to the di
ning-room on the floor above.1
s'We have'put," says Mr.. Sparrowgrass, ga
dumb-waiter in our house. A dumb-waiter j:
good thing to have in the country, on ac
count Of its convenience. If you have com
pany, every thing can be sent up from the kit
chen without any trouble and if the baby gets
to be unbearable, on account of his teeth, you
can dismiss the complainant by stuffing him in
one of the shelves, and letting him down upon
the help. To provide for contingencies, we
had all our floors deafened. In consequence,
you cannot hear anything that is going on in
the story below and, when you are in an up
per room of the house, there might be a dem
ocratic ratification meeting in the cellar, and
you would not know it. Therefore, if any one
should break into the basement, it would not
disturb us; but to please Mrs. Sparrowgrass,
put stout iron bars in all the lower windows.
Beside, Mrs. Sparrowgrass had bought rattle
when she was in Philadelphia; such rattle as
watchmen carry there. This is to alarm our
neighbOr, who, upon the signal, is to come to
the rescue with his revolver. He is rash
man, prone to pull trigger first, and make in
quiries afterward.
s'One evening, Mrs. S. had retired, and
was busy writing, when it struck me glass of
ice-water would be palatable. So took the
candle and pitcher, and went down to the
pump. Our pump is in the kitchen. A coun-
try pump, in the kitchen, is more convenient; /;
but we'll with buckets is certainty most pic
turesque. Unfortunately, our well-water has
not been sweet since it was cleaned out. First
had to open bolted door that lets You into
the basement-hall, and then 1 went to the kit
chen-door, which proved to be locked. Then
remembered that our girl always carried the
key to bed with her, and slept with it under
her pillow. Then retraced my steps; bolted
the basement door, and went up in the dining
room. AS is always the case, 1 found, when
could not get any water, was thirstier than
l supposed 1 was. Then 1 thought L would
wake our girl up. Then concluded not to do
it. Then thought of the well, but gave
that up on account of its flavor. Then open
ed the closet-doors, there was no water there
and then thought of the dumb-waiter! The
novelty of the idea made me smile took
out two Of the movable shelves, stood the pitt
cher on the bottom Of the dumb-waiter, got in
myself with the lamp; let myself down, until
l supposed was within foot of the floor be-
low, and then let go!
ave came down so suddenly that was shot
out of the apparatus as if it had been a cata-
pult; it broke the pitcher, extinguished the
lamp, and landed me in the middle of the kit
chen, at midnight, with no fire, and the air not
much above the zero point. The truth is, l
had miscalculated the distance of the descent;
instead of falling one foot, had fallen five.
My first impulse was, to ascend by the way 1
came down, but found that impracticable.
Then tried the kitchen door, it was locked
tried TO force it open; it was made of two
inch stuff. and held its own. Then hoisted
window, and there were the rigid iron bars.
If 1 ever felt angry at any body, it was at my
self, for putting up those bars to please Mrs.
Sparrowgrass. put them up, not to keep
people in, but to keep people out.
s'I laid my cheek on the ice-cold barriers
and looked out at the sky; not star was WIS.,
ible it was as black as ink overhead. Then
thought of Baron Trenck, and the Prisoner of
Chllon. Then 1 made noise shouted un-
til L was hoarse, and ruined our preserving ket-
tie with the poker. That brought our dogs
out in full bark, and between us we made night
hideous. Then 1 thought heard a voice, and
listened: it was Mrs. Sparrowgrass calling to
ME from the top of the staircase. / tried to
make her hear me, but the Internal dogs uni
drown my voice, which is naturally plantive
and tender. Beside, there were two bolted
doors and double deafened floors between us
how could she recognize my voice, even if she
did hear it {! Mrs. Sparrowgrass called once
or twice, and then got frightened; the next
thing heard was sound as if the roof had
fallen in, by which understood that Mrs. S.
neighbor, already wide awake he came to the
rescue with bull-terrier, Newfoundland
pup, a lantern, and a revolver. The moment
he saw me at the window, he shot at me, but
fortunately just missed me. / threw myself
under the kitchen table and ventured to ex-
postulate with him, but he would not listen to
reason. In the excitement had forgotten his
name, and that made matters worse. 1t was
not until he had reused up every body around,
broken in the basementdoor with an axe,
gotten into the kitchen with his cursed savage
dogs and shooting-iron, and seized me by the
collar, that he recognized me--and then, he
wanted me to explain it. But what kind of
{ald
him he would have to wait until my mind was
composed, and then 1 would let him under
stand the whole matter fully. But he never