The western Democrat. [volume] (Charlotte, N.C.) 1852-1870, 1856-02-19
DoIititaI 3flistrIIanp.
A NIGET WITH THE KNOw-NoTH-
INGS;
Or. Uncle lakes Experience.

BY MS NEPHEW.

Uncle Jake Rodgers on the yearth, alters
attendin barbecues and speechifyings every
| chance, and like the Parson, could give
reason for the faith that was in hinn--he has
alters been looked up to as a sort of oracle
! in perlitical matters, and noes the history of
/ the United States Bank and its orful iniqui-
ties, the tariff and its expressions, the dis
tribution of the publick lands and all them
measures the old Wings used to try to fix
on the people SO hard. In fact, Uncle Jake
/ was dimicrat from the top of his he'd to
the sole of his feet, and from one side all
thro' to the other, and Aunt Nancy, his
wife, was just as rambunctious on the sub
ject as himself, only little more so.
Now, Mr.. Eastman, don't like to expose
Uncle Jake, but the thing is so good, I'll
have to tell you about it.
Last Summer thar cum into our settle
ment nice young man, sent out, as larnt,
from your place to make No-Nuthins, but
he didn't let US all no what he cum for at
fust. Howsomevcr, he linked in quite lot
on 'em, principally Wings, and l larnt that
sum on 'em intended tryin thar hands on
Uncle Jake. Thinks I, old fellcrs, you'll
be barkin' up the rong tree, sertin, but the
fust thing l noed they got hold of the old
man, treated him, told him that the Dimi-
Gratis was all jinin' on 'em-that it warn't
no Whig trick nor nuthin' of that sort
that the Pope of s'roam'' was a cumnlin'
here to use up our Government, to make
preests of the boys an nuns of all the gals
that all the other denominations wud
have to cave in, an wear crosses and kiss
the Pope's big toe-that the No-Nuthings
ware goin to stop all these evil things
goin' to regenerate the land, and bring
things lack to the days of Gineral Jackson
that Gen. Jackson's folks war all fur 'cm,
tooth and toe nail, and what with one thing
and another, the fust thing Uncle Jake nocd
he was reglar ringtaied No Nuthin. They
dun the ole man mite, and arter it was all
over he started home, an as he went along
his mind was full Of misgivins, how could
he face the ole 'oman! What would Gineral
jackson say if he was alive How could he
meet his old Dimicratic friends agin! and
he suddenly recollected that The Union,
(the old watchman on the tower OF our
Perlitical Zion, as he used to call your
paper} was opposed to it. All these things
begin to work in Uncle Jake's mind, till,
by the time he got home he was in a power
full swivet.
He found Aunt Nancy q sitting up fur
him, and Uncle Jake he never was ashamed
to meet her afore.
"Well Jake, ses she, "what on yearth has
kept you out so late to night :" for Uncle
Jake was very regular in his habits.
"Why Nancy, 1 been round-attendin
meetin to-nite," ses he, quite hesitatin
like.
''What kind NV mcetin," ses she.
"Wy-a sort NV parlitical meetin," ses
he, shiyerin all over, fur he was powerful
Uneasy by this time.
"Well," ses she, "if you've been tryin to
he'd these nonuthins ] aint got no more to
say, fur you could't be in better business,
fur L leyrn that sum as call themselves
dimicrats. have jined 'em. l don't like 'em
no how, Jake, fur they don't cum out open
an above board, but ar pokin round at mite
in alleys and dark places, but l thank
the Lord you aint wun of 'em, fur no |
couldn't live with one of >cm to save my
life" But what makes you look so, Jacob!
are you sick Bless my life if you aint got
Chill on you, and your hands as cold as
ice. WHATS the matter, Jake 2"
''Nuthing much,'' SOS Uncle Jake. II
dom Foo 70 Nil L.
go to bed" so sayin he slipt into bed, and
the old oman arter him.
Bimeby Unkle Jake, Grter tossin and
roliin about. gifts to sleep, and dremt that
all his Dimicrat friends he used to be with
so much wouldn't have nuthin to do with
him, and that he couldn't no longer vote his
ticket, for his old friends and his principles,
and he groaned in spirit.
Aunt Nancy walked him up, skeered to
deth, an Unkle Jake had to out with the
hole thing. Aunt Nancy jumped out Nv
bed and declared she couldn't stav thar,
that no-nuthin couldn't cum nigh her.
Unkle jake at last told her eff she would
forgive him, he'd go early in the mornin
and git out of the thing, but she told him
no, she couldn't stand him till mornin, and
directly Unkle Jake hauls on his close, and
went out and got the President and sum
more on 'em together, and swore he must
git out afore mornin or kill sum body one.
They let him out-and when he got loose,
he sung, he shouted, be danced and capercd
like a boy-he run home and like to
Aunt Nancy to deth: she good
old soul, was mitily riled about it an pow
erfully distressed, but sealed his pardon
with a kiss of forgiveness, an let by-gonos
be bygones.
One man soon arter hinted to Unkle Jake
that he heerd he was a no-nuthin, when ke
pitched into the feller an ike to a walloped
him TO deth; since that time nobody has