The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1856-07-05
IIuinOrS of Law.

Sterne lnSlnuateS that attorneys are L
lawyers what apothecaries are to physicians
only that they do not deal in scruples!
One day at the table of the late DR.. Peas'
Dean of ElyD just as the cloth was being
removed, the subject of discourse happenec
to be that of an extraordinary mortality
among the LAWYERS "We have lost" sale
gentleman "not less than sir eminent bar
risters in as many months" The Dean. who
was quite deaf rose as his friend finished
his remarks, and gave the company grace
"tor THIS and every other mercy, the Lord:
name be praised" The effect WAS irresist
ible.
Having referred to briefs, we are remind
ed of the opposite We have not diateC
upon ''the laws delay The topic is, how
ever, too trite to talk about-let an instance
suffice.
About hundred years ago, Scotch gen.
teman bequeathcd to his poor relations, o.
whatever degree" the sum of t20, 900. "Ir
effect, he left them n Chancery suit, which
has remained in the family ever since. Ir
the first place, the next Of kin disputed the
validity of the bequest, but it was establish
] ed by Lord Chancellor Camden, and 4Ga
I persons made out their relationship. There
upon, in the year 1866, bill was filed f0I
/ the distribution Of the money amongst them
which has not been effected to this day.
A yet stranger case that of the famous
Berkeley suit" which lasted upwards OF
/ l9O years! 1t was commenced shortly after
1 the death Of the fourth Lord Berkely in
I lilG, and terminated in 1909. 1t arose out
/ of the marriage of Elizabeth, only daughter
and heiress OF the above baron, with Richard
| Beaucamp, Earl of Warwick. their descend
ants having continually sought to get pos
1 session Of the Castle and Lordship of Berke-
ley, which not only occasioned the famous
lawsuit in question, but was often attended
with the most violent Guarrels on both sides,
at least during the first fifty years or more
We have at our hand a case, and as it is a
very styiktng oae, We may as well introduce
it with the view Of adding force to our OBJ
servationS.
\ lawyer, retained in a case Of assault and
battery, was cross-examiuing witness in re-
lation to the force of blow struck: "Whst
kind of blow was given:" A blow of
the common kind" "Dcscribe the blow. "
- am not good at description" show me
what kind of blow il was cannot
You must" - won't" The lawyer ap-
pealed to the court. The court told the wit
hess that if the counsel insisted upon his
showing what kind Of blow it was, he must
do so. do you insist upon it," asked the
witness. 81 do" Wei then since YOU
compel me to show you, it was this kind Of
blow - at the same time suiting the action
10 the word, and knocking over the a>to isn-
ed disciple Of ccke upon Ljtt.clon.
In this connection We have yet another
case to present, in which the irritating and
too irritable counsel was completely non
plussed Il i a. follows:
" / call upon you, said the counsellor, to
state distinctly upon what authority you
prepared to swear to the mares agc;' - Up
on what authority - said the ostler, intcrro-
gatiyely. " You are 10 reply TO, and not to
repeat the question put to YOU Il doesn't
consider mans bound to answer 2 question
afOre he ; time to turn it in his mind" No
thing can De more simple, sir, than the ques-
tion pnt. | again repeat il: Upon what
authority do you swear 10 the animals agc."
The best authority" responded the wit
ness, gruftiy. Then why such evasion:
Why not state It at once" We'll. then. If
you must have it." Must. ! viii haze it
vociferated the counsellor, interrupting the
witness. Wen, then, if you must and will
have II, rejoincd the osticr, with impcr-
turbable gravity, ." why, then, had it my
self from the mare : own mouth \ stimuli
taucouS burst Of laughter rang through the
court The judge, on the bench, could with
difficulty restrain MS r!sbie muscles to Judi
C!al dcCJrum
Our r-a-eIs may remember the story OF
lie ;wp i..~l friends who from long prac-
tice, arrived at great proficiency in the sci
ence Of unlawluliy abstracting tn ir neigh
bors property, and were not only true to the
old maxim of honor among thieves" but
evinced an ingenuity and skill worthy Of a
better cause. One, having appropriated a
goose, was on the point OF being condemned
by jury for theft, when the friend appear
ed and swore that the bird was his, and had
been ever since it was 4 gos.ing, and the
prisoner on this was acquitted. Afterwards,
in the course Of his calling, the ingenious
witness was himself arraigned for stealing a
gun. Don't he onaisey.' whispered the
former culprit, "Ill release ye." Thereupon
he stepped into the witness box, and boldly
affirmed that the gun was his, and that it
had been in his possession ever since it had
been pistol-.Salad, ,ror tie Social