Thibodaux minerva. [volume] (Thibodaux, La.) 18??-1858, 1856-05-31
That Baby.
BIZ wINNY wooDFRRN.

There it goes again-"bump ker thump"
should like to know what that unfortunate child's
head is made Of! If it had been anything but
iron or gutta purcha, it would have been dashed
into ten thousand pieces long ago. don't sit
quietly in my room FIVE minutes at time, by
day or night, before I hear that same old sound
overhead, and the hideous roar that follows.
The child ought to be ashamed of itself to cry
at such an old story IS tumbling down has got
| to be.
When pitched upon Mrs Gunter's establish.
ment for my winter quarters, l thought l had
made mistake and lighted square in the gar
den Of Eden. A large handsome room, (and
dog cheap into the bargrin) good board, pleas
ant, cheerful little landlady last, not least,
eight young gentlemen boarders, and no lady
but myself! Said gentlemen we're artists, law
yers and gay young bachelor merchants-all
good looking and agreeable-some fine singers
doesn't one play on the guitar, though!) and
| all extremely willing to be polite to me,-what
more could . woman ask? l took possession Of
my quarters with the greatests complacency,-
sat, twilight of the first evening trying my new
piano by the dusky red light of . knot fire in
the CRATE, and thinking like little Jack Horner,
in the corner "oh what good girl am l." when
thumpity -thump" went the child's head on
the floor above and woke me in a moment, and
forever, from my "d dream of bliss % ..-
baby is a nuisance! You needn't come
down upon me with holy horror, for that outra-
geous truthful stick to my flag like hero
81 never will desert Mr.. Micawber." tell
you, have seen them by the bushel-pre,ty and
homely, cross and pleasant, squalling and quiet,
awake and asleep-and they are nuisances eve.
year, and begin to talk, then they are worth
noticing-till then, they should be hermetically
sealed up, and kept from light, air and people.
Perhaps speak warmly. ought to. You
would if you were in my place. No less than
ten manuscripts Of mine have been spoiled within
the past week by that baby! How can any one
follow up train of thobght with such yells
sounding in her tortured ears? Who could write
poetry with that cherub overhead, who is own
cousen to those that " continually do cry
Bother the babies wish they were in Pat
agonia! .''1H
There's Solomon, that used to love. He
wasn't contented till he married, and now they
tell me he has son heir. Don't I fervently
hope it may keep him awake every other night
for sixteen years? | used to wear his miniture
in seal-ring, in the old days Of our courtship.
Catch me doing it now! But, somewhere in my
portfolio I have sketch drawn by me when
heard Of it-of o man toting about dressing
baby squalling over his right shoulder, and his
| wife snoozing comfortably in an arm chair be-
fore the CRATE. That man looks very much like
Solomon need not tell you that one look at
the caricature always leaves my heart whole,
and entirely cured Of seal-ring propensities
Then, again there is Augustus, who comes to
see me now, and who is Of domestic turn Of
mind. Don't he sit on pins and needles, all the
time, thinking that imp is going to get its death
blow? He likes children, and looks upon me as
! kind of unnatural monster, because I don't
"Lord bless you!" I said, last Sunday night,
when he had interrupted me for the eleventeenth
time, by jumping up and crying out, "tha'
child is certainly killed now " Supposing it il
| it is nothing to us. Do sit down and hea1
what have got to say. FAX
He gave me such a look, and grumbled out
shard hearted " or something to that effect.
was vexed before, and one thing led to another
till we had grand quarrel; Augustus wen
home in state Of desperation, and staid in my
room, fully determined to administer prussit
acid to that .infant phenomenon" at the frs
opportunity. To think, after all thatits mothel
should meet me in the hall the next afternoon
and actually ask me to kiss it! 5 .E
There it goes, once more This time, some
thing serious, to judge by the running ant
screaming of women and folks. A email speci
men Of Babel! I'll just step up and see If car
help matters along any. Adieu, reader.
P. 8. The baby had fallen out of the window
but unfortunately me! mean fortu
nate,y-its frock caught in the hook that fasten
the blinds, and saved it. shall expect to SCI
It come sailing down the air dozen times
day, now, light upon the hardest part of tn
pavement, cry and roar ad kbitum, but he per
fectly unhurt-just to spite me. !. --. s...,
How TO Ger WIFE IN CAIRo.-When q
young man in Cairo, Egypt, wishes to marry, b.
goes to some old woman who makes it her busi
ness to be we'll up in the names and addresses
Of al manageable young ladies, and, tender