Marshall County Democrat. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1855-1859, 1856-04-24
A Wife in EcStasies and a Husband in
Fidgets.

mas got pEtnO, ana now farewell the
tranquil mind-farewell fun and the even
ing papers, and the big cigars that make
ambition virtue-oh, farewell and oh, We
mortal engines, whose rude throats the i'm
mortal Jove's dread clamors counterfeit, :"
but stop, | can't bid them farewell, for one
of them has just arrived. 1t came on a
dray. Six men carried it into the the par
lor, and it grunted awfully. 1t weighed a
ton, shines like mirror, and has ca. we'd
Cupids climbing up its limbs. And such
lungs-wEew
My wife has commenced to toptacticc, and
the first time she touched the machine, |
thought We were in the midst of thun-
der storm and the lightning had struck the
crockery chests. The eat with tail erect,
took a Decline for a particular friend upon
the back fence, dcmolishing six shilling
pane of glass. The baby awoke, and the
little fellow tried his best to beat the inStru-
ment, but he did MT do it. 1t beat him.
A teacher has been introduced into the
house He says he is the last of Napole-
ans grand army. He wears large mus
tache, looks ferccly, smells of garlic,
and goes by the name of Count Runaway
and dncver-come- back -again-by He play
ed an extract de opera the other night. He
run his fingers through his hair twice,
then grinned, then he cooked his eyes up
at the ceiling, like monkey hunting flies,
then down came one Of his fingers, and
heard delightful sound, similar to that
produced by cockroach dancirg on tie
tenor string of fiddle. Down came an
other finger, and was reminded of the
wind whistling through a knot-hole in a
hen coop. He touched his thumb, and
] thought | was in an orchard listening to
the distant braying of jackass. Now he
ran his fingers along the keys. and | tho'I
of a boy rattling stick along picket
fence. All of sudden he stopped, and
thought something had happened. Then
down came both fists, and oh, Lord such
a nols was never heard before | thought
herricanc had struck the house and the
walls were caving in. [ imagined was
in the cellar, and ton of coal falling up
on my head. | thought the machine had
burst, when the Internal noise stopped, and
l heard my wife calculate, Exquisite y
''What the deuce is the matter ?" The
answer was, "Why, dear, that's La Som
nambulap' "D-a Somnambula !"
thought L +; and the Count rolled up his
sheet of paper. He calls it music but
for the life of me | can't make it look like
anything else than a post-andrail fence
with a lot of Juvenile niggers climbing
over it.
Before that instrument came into the
house, could enjoy myself, but now ev-
cry woman in the neighborhood must be
invited to hear the new piano. and every
time the blasted thing shricks GU like 4
locomotive with the bronchitis. | have IL
praise It's tones, and when the invited
guests are playing | have to say 'Exquis-
itc, Delightful, Heavenly! and all such
trash, while. at the same time | know Just
as much about music as blind Goldfish
There are more tuning hammers than
comforts in our house and-and wish the
inventor of the piano was troubled with a
perpetual nightmare and obliged to sleep
IN one of his instruments all his life As
for myself had rather put my head un-
der a tin pan and be drummed to sleep with
pair of smoothing irons than hear LA
Somnambula," or any other La thumped
out of piano. Scatter pennies in front
of my house, and draw together all the
wandering minstrels in the city--hand or
gans, baiijos, fiddles, tambourincs, rattling
bones and fish horns. LIT juvenile mon
keys crawl IN at my window in search of
three cent pieces-lct US be awakened at
night by the cry of murder ring the fire
bells, and have a "devil of a time" gener
allv; do all this, and | will not complain ;
Danish pianos
My piano must go; | am going TO latlnch
the Internal machine out of the window
the first dark night, and my friends adj
wise you TO sleep with cotton in your ears.
or when she gives her dying grunt you II
think you We fallen out of bed or fallen
star has gone to roost On your house top.
For the information of Young America, /
will state that all the pieces OF brass wire
and ivory keys they are welcome to, but
the skeleton [ want for a refrigerator.
The following Interesting conversation
occurred between the census-takcr and
Young lady: