The true Democrat., 1856-03-04
Whar no Wood is, there the Fire Goeth out-And they Played on SimbOls, Dulci- mers, Jewsharps and Demijohns.

Out-And they Played on SimbOls, Dulci-
 mers, Jewsharps and Demijohns.
 The following discourse, delivered by that same old coon," the captain of Mississippi fat-boat, at hard shell Baptist protracted meeting at Tinicum, on Thursday evening last was phonographically reported expressly for the Mercury by Samuel the Scribe" who was one of the anxious inqurers on that so- lemn and interesting occasion:
 My FRIENDS: Since I had the pleasure nv holdin' forth to the benighted an heathenish rapscallions uv Brandon, Mississippi, on the subjeck-"An he played on harp uv thou sand strings, sperrets of just men made per- feck''-the sperrit hath moved me to take up my bed and travel; and after visiting divus places an propagatin' the Gospill to varus no- mlnations, 1 have at last fetched up, bless the Lord, 'mong the Hard Shells of Tinicum. My tex this evenin' my brethering, will be found somewhar tween the books of Providence an Mlllklzedick q think the former) am when found It will read somewhar near as follows: W har no wood is the fire goeth out--an' they played on slmbols, dulcimers, jewsharps and dimnyjons.''
 Now, my bretherng, Pm gwine to say to you as Sdll to tue Drandonlans on former 'caslon, Pm not an educated man, but, bless the Lord, Pm mighty religuSh man what's born aSln-one what sperlenced the holy ghost, and tuck relgun in the natral way-for "whar no woodis, thar the fire goeth out-and they played on slmools dulsmers, jewsharps and dimmy- jons."
 Now, my brethering, p'r'haps some uvye are wondering an' axing yourselves what denomia- aShuu | IOnUS to Wall fr;o ,lo o plain spoken man, although sez it mpself, as oughtent to say it, an I'll tell yer what sway shun longs to. Perhaps some on ye thinks I'm Mormon; some on ye, peradventure spis- shuS Pm Millerte; some more on ye may kalkelate Pm Methedss, an others uv ye may lmbide the nojhun that I ar a Free Lovyer but tells ye, my brethering, you are all contoundedly confum bustercated if ye thinks any slch thing; for, in the language of the tex " W har no wood IS, thar the fire goeth out and they played on simbols, dulsmers, jews- harps and dimmyjohns."
 Somehow, oilers tuck amazin' likin' to tht Baptsts, specially to the hard shels-not be- cause Pm particularly fond of cold water; for my bretherlng, Pm not one uv them ar sort o Christians that repudiates good whiskey, o looks grit horse in the mouth Thar's the Rach-shells, the soft shells, the clam shells an' a great many other kind uv shells, but my bretherlns, next to the hard shells, give mt the man that shells out liberallv when the con- trbushun box goes round-for, Whar no wooc IS, thar the fire goeth out-and they played or simbos, dulsimers, jewsharps and dimmijohns.' ,
 Now, my brethrering having told you wha swayshun longs to, I'm gwyne to exemflicat and lucldate on my tex, which sez-"whar nc wood is, tharthe fire goeth out" etc. My breth ering, dunt spose for the sixteenth part uv , minute that the fire we read nv in the scrip lures will go out bekaSe thar'S no wood? No my Chrlstshun friends, so long as the supply ot anthersite and birthstone holds out, 1t won make a ,dif uv Difference whether thar's any wood or not--the fire will be kept burning for, they played on simbols, dulsmers, jews harps and demmyjohns.
 My bretherlng, when accordin' to the tex, sez, "they played on simbolS, dusimers, jews harps and dimmyjohns," mean that the gooc and pcrhck sperrltS-them nv the sixth speer- plays on the sImbols and dulcmers, and the bad sperrits, what lives in the lower speers plays on the jewsharps and dimmiiohns, 'spe- cally the demmyjohns-for "Whar no wood ls, thar the fire goeth out-and they played"- brethering, l smell mice Thars Judis 1T this congregashun. sure as you are living sin ners, and he must be dispeled. An, I told yo, so. Thar he is, wonder, on that high sect thar near the stove. That weazenfaced sinner il the barskin bang up-a wolf in bars clothing setting thar as innocent as d possum up a sim mon tree, reporting my lectur phrenologicaly
 At this junctur all eyes were fixed upon ou reporter, who also began to 'smell amce," anc hastily thrusting his notes in the pocket of his barskin bang-up," vamosed through side window, surrounded by blaze of glory and al least a hundred hard shells