The south-western. [volume] (Shreveport, La.) 1852-1870, 1856-01-09
Jim Wicker was a comical looking fellow

Jim Wicker was comcal looking fellow
with very young face, but by reason Of bay
ing no hair he looked very old from his eye
brows all the way round to the back Of hi
neck. He was very sensitive about the defec
and was somewhat celebrated from fight hi
had with a travelling agriculturist, who upol
being asked by jim, .swhat would cause BIZ
hair to grow upon his shining poll, was advised
to cover the top of his head with guano, and
plant it down with crab grass But jim
wouln't quarrel with captain Wild, for that gen
tleman was not only the host ofthe Fairy Queen
but also had the key Of all .the refreshments
IN bis possession, 50 without hesitation he en-
lightened his auditory after this fashion,
You see the bar always did keep raythcr
scarce bout my scalp, and was always rub
bing in one thing and another to fotch it ont,
for was sartin the roots wasn't dead, though
thar was little to be seen above ground I'd
heard of bars grease, and bought gallon in
bottles, but believe it was nothing but hogs
lard and mutton taller. SO / thought I would
have the genuine article, and got old Dan to
go out and kill something for my special benefit
Dan told me il Was il the spring, and that the
bar was in bad health and out Of season, but
believed he was trying to quiz me, and wouldn't
take no for an answer. short hunt fetched
critter at bay and Dan, by shot in the Vi
tails, saved the varmnt," but the bar was 10
a bad condition. for he looked as seedy as an old
Canada thistle, and he had hardly lie enough
IN him to keep his jints from squeaking, but
what he did have gotand used, and strangers,
SAID Jim, looking sorrowfully round on the com
pany, Tin two days what little har had com |
menced falling off, and in week was as bald
as gun barrel Dan was right, the varmint
was shedding himself, and had nothing in him
but har shedding lie, and the consequence is,
can't in the dark, tell my head from a dried
gourd, if | depend on feelin." @
One Of the queerest and funniest things to
think Of in after life, is s'boy love- No sooner
does boy acquire tolerable stature, than he
begins to imagine himself man, and to ape
mannish ways. He casts sidelong chances atthe f
girls he may meet, becomes regular attendant Ii
at church or meeting, sports cane, carries his
head erect, and struts little in his walk Pres
emily, and how very soon! he falls in love-yes,
tails is the proper word because it best indi-
Gates his happy, delirious establishment. He
lives now IN fairy region, somewhere collate- "
raj to the world, and yet, somehow, blended i
lnextricably with it. He perfumes bis hair ST
with fragrant oil, scatters essence overhis hand a,
kerchief, and desperately shayes and annons
for beard. He quotes poetry in which 'loye' a,
and "dove, +" and heart and dart pecu-
Harry predominant, and as he punges deeper Ia
into the delicious labyrinth, fancies himself
hlled with divine afdatus, and suddenly breaks f.,
into a scarletrash-of rhyme. He feeds upon fpl
the looks OF his beloved, is raised to the sew
cnth heaven if she speaks pleasant word, is ba
betrayed into the most astonishing ecstacies by We
smile, and is plunged into the gloomiest re- cia
5ions Of misanthropy BY afrown. ella
He imagines himself the most devoted loverI fl,z
n the world. There never was such another, it,
here never will be. He is the one great lido mn
md self-abnegation. Wealth! he despises the NJ
lie beloved, he rapturousy apostrophizes as
he first Of all earthly blessings and '.Iove in -,
ottage, with water and crust is the beau III
deal paradise Of dainty delights. tom
He declares to himself with the most solemn
7ater, undertake pilgrimage to China or KAN TAIN
,hatLa swin, storno tossaa oooo,, .aa1 Srol
able mountains, and face legions of bayonets avn
ut for one sweet smile from her dearlips. He ase
oats upon flower she has cast away. He who
lerishes her glove-a little worn in the fin com
his heart. He signs like locomo- !. =
tSsuhSo vi SICaiH. ZIG SCIdWlS her GEAR snrn,
ame over quires Of foolscap-ftting medium lind
r his insanity. scornfuly depreciates the auid
tention Of other boys Of his own age, cuts facul
eter Tibbets dead, because he said that the GomE
orabe Angelina had carrotty hair, and passes the =
AIRY Bell contempuously, for daring to com duce
re that gawky Mary Jane" with his incom- fuge
rabe Angelina. W
Happy! happy! foolish boy-lo with its t thI
pes and its fears, its joys and its sorrows its hghe
'lousles and its delights, its raptures and its cular
lures, Its ecstatie ervors and its terrible the p
art-burnings, its solemn righteousness and its l'ehi
cnseiy prosaic termination. ~ = ]
All the Chinese grocers are sages, philoso- Jane
ers OF the school Of Confucius. They are CESS,
'ecially friends oftruth and pique themselves g H.
the rreproachable purity of their merchan- Hyan
e, and they never sell farhng candle with M
accompanying it with some precept of lofty an, e:
idom suited to the occasion. Madame here Q. N.
,our candle. The honest man, saws Confu-i berts'
s. loves the Light is only hateful to those esaa,
ose intentions are eyi' 4'Mademoiselle, S q u
e is your penny worth of soap. The stains Adolf
the soul, unlike those Of lines, can never be Rams
racted Y Monsieur. this is the picked her Of Of
which you asked for While eating it re- ~ = u y
mber The saying Of our great philosopher, nnsur
dom IS like brine, into which man dips HIM fleets
that be may live forever most
The tear of loving Girl, saws Moser from suble'