The Richmond palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1855-1875, 1856-11-27


ting me.
'Nill papa certainly come and kiss me when
he comes home the little fellow sad, turu-
ing back in the doorway, as lie unwIllingy
followed Ills nurse 10 bed.
Yes, darling. run away" for the minutes
went bv SO slowly. as watched the mantel
clock. and longed 10 be alone with my fears.
u Was almost dark. and | stood watching
from the balcony, when the bell of the Sec
ond boat rang as It neared the wharf Ii
came over the water Ike kuejl h my excl
ted ina ,inalIon; bat. while shivered and
clung closer % the pillar against which lean
ed, | chiied myself for such foolish ground
less apprehen>ions James came bs, K alone.
Nv heart beat faster AMI faster. almost 10 sui-
toea1ion. as | made sure OF tins. and saw =
HoSe letter in his hand. | thought he
would never reach the house. tina: lie Ii ,ht
IAN. ior before he did So woal! never come:
and then | tore of the enreop 10 read the
confirmation OF the worst. nay, oi more than
| could ever Lave imagined.
Keep calm my blessed wife. Trust N
God. He may even vet spare do not
thuk our home Is IN any danger. h was NY
own rash hasline>s; | threw those clothes II
the river myself when the men refused 10 do
50. | have brooied over < the last three days
Forgive me ii have seemed less Kind than
usual, have suffered much thinking o.
YOU and the children. Il is for your sakes
lha, | am going to the hospital, thai DO not
come home TO die. Death would lose il ter
ror ii watched over by YOU. G1i bless you.
They VIII lei you know how II goes with me.
Bear up. precious one for the sake Of our
children"
h was written from his dic'ation. lie
would not even peril Us by his farewell. |
reco 5nized the baud OF afr nd who came TO
me an hour later and told nae all there was 10
know. lie was with Andrew when the faiut
dizziness came on which decided hIm to take
medical advice. NJ. Henry heard him tell
the physician that, for the past three days, he
had been suffering from indesctib>lble lsaguor
and a racking headache; and at last. il he
dreaded to speak his own death warrant, of
the incident oS my birthday morning It
was his own instant proposition to 90 TO the
Marine Hospital and await the crisis, as if it
had all been determined on before; and he
had passed his house, going, Is it Were, to
death, stiainng his eyes 10 catch the last
gimpse of those he was leaving forever. while
sat amid the luXurIes and comforts he had
surrounded me with. but now denied 10 him
self in blind Inconsistencies
Oh, the horrid fancies. the still more dread
full realities. of that night! | was left SO
utterly helpless, but !or prayer; and, when |
tried to pray, all my p.ide and ingratitude rose
up before me. Then. If never before | felt
mans utter dependence upon Gods mercy
and forbearance. He had ..comfor;ed me on
every side. yet had maynitied trifiiug daily
care into a burden. He had given me- my
husbands love and tenderness, yet | had
claim ed it as a light, and turned away from
It's expression checked its fulness, BY my cold
ness and injustice. l could be thankful for il
then, when il was Withdrawal from me. and
most Of all that we had not been suffered TO
part thus. A hundred little things flashed
upon nv recollection: that the balcony Of the
boa, house had been repainted the next day.
thong | hal heard nothing OF it before, and
the children were forbidden to plGy there with
this tor an excuse; that hal several times seen
Andrew start from his book or loung ging chair
and wax hur.iedly up and down the room;
and thai very mornings parting, he had no.
sen. for the children, usual, bu: stopped By
the nursery window and kissed his haad
good by;" tha: he had turned back almost a,
the .ae, AMI then, checking the impulse,
WAKE rapidly away. To me- he had been
more than usually tender. though, i; was
10 Danish all s-lfreproach my part for our
recent mi>an !erStanIing; and he bad strained
me to his heart in the days OF our carly
married life. and kissed ny forehead a,ain and
again.
Those eaglv days. had 4Iled them darl
but how willingly would / have welcomed
those cloud, Ia exchange for the midni .ht
b!ackn'> S which now enveloped me. Psiu.
toll privation--wh were they to this utter
loss that threatened | had no hope from tie
. first. Mai projects II seeing him once more
} f1ael through my ioini. | knew tiAt no
prdiaarv plea would admit me 70 those 4 jom
ed walls, even me, his vile. VINO LA J
vowed to cherish ilu IN sickness. BIZ: they
, were IN want OF nurses, could not offer nv
self As such? or, patient my self? Ny face
was burning, my head throbbin. with lilo fever
Of mental agu.>h But, a!As. my chd.en'
CoalI | desert those helpless little ones, hi.
T. children? The wife and the mothers love
battleI assins. each other; and laq hou.
i after hour my he. buried in the pillows. Il
: shut out h,ht and sound, long after the lonely
: .hastly d y break which brought f.-ither hope
: nor comfort. Was not this harder To bcii
than the most lncessant wa.chfaness of The
suffering and agony which | pictured SC
vivilly, with tie power Of mni,t-ring to il
= wish the knowledge of each variation seeaq
" tie shad ~ Of death before the last fnal still
ness, piiiowin. the dear head, even thou Il
Il there no consciousness in the ray less eyes
~ marmur Of love from the parched anc
blackened llpo?
= 4 the knowledge that tie tragedy va
= passing in those prison-iike walls. anj ths
there WAS no one to whisper OF horne, no On,
: 10 minister 10 the aching, longing hear, Il,
tliing from the outer world. no MESA e ever
;, Of gvoi cheer-;his was the torture to whicl
: the resolve and power Of sacrificing life.
l need, be, were AS nothing in the b4lanc-
n | shut my>elfup from the well mean. kind
ness Of friends even from tho very 81 ,Ilt .
my own household. The pratti- Of my ciildf, n
II turnin-r. as it ever did. towards papa a