Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1856-11-10
THE WEEKLY Star
A San francisco Auctionser

The reporter Of the San Francisro No~.
furnishes that paper with the following mort
of speech made by California auctionss,
Ladies and gentlemen, L have now ths
honor OF putting up q fine pocket handker-
chief yard wide, yard long, and almost
yard thick one-half cotton, and t'other half
| cotton too; beautifully printed with stars and
stripes on one side, and the stripes and sta n
on tother. 1t will wipe dust from the eyes : ,
completely as to be death TO demsgogues. sni
make politics as bad business as printing
papers Its great length, breadth, and thick
ness together with its dark color, will euable
Il 10 hlde DIRT, and never need washing. Go
ing at one dollar '-seventy-fve cents sp-ffty
cents twenty five cents l-one bitl No
oody wants itl-Oh thank YOU sir!
Next, gentenlsn-for the ladies won't be
permitted TO bid on this srticle-is q real, 81.
mon-Pure, tempered, highly polished, keen
eGged razor; bran spankin new; never OPEN
ed before to sunlight, moonlight, starlight,
day Light, or gas-light sharp enough 10 shave
lawyer or cut disagreeable acquaintance
or poor relation; handle Of buck horn; with
all the ryets but the two at the ends Of pure
gold Who will give two dollars a? one dollar
half dollar? Why, ye long bearded dirty
iaced reprobates, with not room on your phiz-
zes for a Chinese woman to kiss, I'm Offering
you bargain at half dollar. Well, 1 will
throw in this strOp at half a dollar,-razor
and strop-a recent patent; two rubs upon il
viii sharpen the city attorney; all for four
bits and piece of s0ap-sweeter than roses,
lithers better than schoolmaster, and strong
enough To wash out all the stains from a Cali
fornia politicians countenance, all for four
bits. Why, you have only to put the razor
strop and soap under your pillow at night 10
wake up in the morning clean shaved. Won't
anybody give two bits, then, for the lOtr L
knew would sell 'em
Next, ladies and gentlemen, ofer three
pairs socks, hose, stockings, or half hose, lust
a you re a mind 10 call them, knit by ms
chine made on purpose, out Of cotton wood
Ine man that buys these will be enabled 20
walk till be gets tired; and, provided his
boots are high enough, needn't have any corns;
the legs are as long as bills against the corpo-
ration, and as thick Gs the heads of the mem
bers If the legislature. Whow wants 'em at ore
half dollar Thank-ee, madam, the money
Next, offer you a pair Of boots; made es-
pecially for San Francisco, with heels long
enough TO raise man up 10 Hoadley grades,
and nails to insure against being carried over
by land slide; legs wide enough to carry
two revolvers and a bowie knife, and the up.
pers Of the very best horse leather. man
In these boots can move about as easy al the
State capitol Who says twenty dollars? All
the taxpayers ought to buy pair to kick tho
council with every body ought 10 have a pair
to kick the legislature with and they will be
found of assistance in kicking the bucket, es-
pecially if somebody should kick at being
kicked Ten dollars for legs, uppers, and
soles; while souls, and miserable souls at that,
are bringing twenty thousand dollars i'm Sac
ramerto! Ten dollars ten dollars Gone
at ten dollars.
Next is something that you ought TO have,
gentlemen-R lot of gallowses, sometimes
called suspenders / know that some Of you
will after awhile be furnished at the States
expense, but you can't tell which one, so buy
where Their cheap. All that deserve hang
Ing are not supplied with gallows; if so,
there would be nobody TO make laws, con-
denim criminals, or hang culprits until new
election. Made Of pure gum -elastic-stretch
like judges conscience and last as long as a
California ofticeholder; with steal buckles OF
pure ircn, and warranted 10 hold 50 tight that
no mans wife can rob him Of the breeches-
are, in short, as strong, as good, as perfect, as
tfectual, and as bona fde as the ordinance
against Chinese shops or Dupont street gone
az twenty five cents"