The Georgetown news., 1856-03-06
How Sam Bates Got Caught.

Mr.. Bates met Sally Jones for the first
time at quilting, and in sixty seconds at-
ter sight he determined to court her. lie
sat beside her as she stitched, and had even
the audacity to squeeze her hand under the
quilt. The truth is mighty and must be
told Although Sally did resent the i'm
pertinence by stick with her needle, she
was not half so indignant as she ought to
have been. | dare not say she was pleased,
but perhaps | should not be far from the
truth if did. 1t is undeniable that the
more gentle and modest woman is, the
more she admires courage and boldness i'll
the other sex. Sally blushed every time
her eyes met those Of her beau, and that
was as often as she looked up. AS for Sam,
the longer he gazed the deeper he sunk in
the mire of love, and by the end of the eve
ming his heart and his confidence were both
completely overwhelmed. AS he undertook
to see Sally home, he felt numbness in his
Joints that was entirely new to him, and
when he tried to make known his sentiments
as he had previously determined, he found
his heart was so swelled up that it closed
his throat, and he could not utter word.
what darned cussed sneak [ wasn
groaned Sam, as he turned that night on
his sleeplesS pillow. What's come over me
that | cant speak my mind to pretty gal
without a-chokin'? o Lord. but she is too
pretty to live on this airth. Well, I'm 60
ing to church with her tomorrow; and if [
don't fix matters before git back, then
drat me-
1t is probable Sam Bates had never bark
ened to the story of 'Rassclas, Prince of
Abysinia, or he would have been less cred
ulous while thus listening to the whispers of
fancy, and less ready to take it for granted
that the deficiencies of the day would be
supplied by the morrow. Tomorrow came,
and in due time, Mr.. Bates, tricked off in a
bran-new twelve dollar suit of Jews clothes
was on his way to meeting beside the beau
tiful Sally. His horse, bedecked with a
new fair bride, and new saddle with brass
stirrups, looked as gay as his master. AS
they rode up to the Westinghouse door,
Sam could not forbear casting triumphant
glance at the crowd of Sally's adorers that
stood around filled with modification and
envy at his successful audacity. Sallys
face was roseate with pleasure and bash
fulness.
Stop, minute, now, Miss Sally; III jist
git down and lift ye OFF,
Sam esSayed to dismount, but in so do
ing found that both feetwere hopelessl fast
in the stirrups. His face swelled and red
dened like q turkey gobler's. In vain he
twisted and kicked; the crowd was expect
ant: Sally was waiting. Gosh darn the
steerup" exclaimed Sam, endeavOring to
break the feathers with his desperate kicks.
At this unwonted exclamation Sally looked
up, and saw her beau's predicament. The
bystanders began to snicker. Sally was
grieved and indignant. Bouncing out of
her saddle, in twinkling she handed her
entrapped consort a stone. Here, Sammy,
chunk your foot out with this.'
Oh, Sally Jones, into what an error did
your kind heart betray you, to offer this
untimely civility in the presence of the as
sembled country admirers and all!
Sam took the stone and struck frantic
blow at the pertinacious stirrup. but miss
ing his aim, it fell with crushing force
upon soft corn that had come from his
wearing tight boots. whoa, darn ye.'
cried he, losing all control of himself, and
threatening to beat his horses brains out
with the stone.
Don't strike the critter, Sammy said
old Jones, you'll gin him the poll evil; but
jist let me ongirth the saddle, and we'll git
you loose in no time
In short, the saddle was unbuckled, and
Sam dismOunted with his feet still fast in
the stirrups, looking like criminal in foot
hobbies. With some labor he pulled off
his boots, and squeezed them out of the
stlrrups, and pulled them on again. The
tender Sally stood by, all the while mani
testing the kindest concern; and when he
was finally extricated, she took his arm and
walked him into church. But this unlucky
adventure was too much for Sam; he sneak
ed out OF the meeting during the first prayer,
pulled Oft his boots, and rode home in his
stockings. From that time Sam Bates dis
appeared from society. Literally and met
aphorically he shut up shop, and hung up
his fiddle