The south-western. [volume] (Shreveport, La.) 1852-1870, 1856-02-13

As circling years shall rise and set,
New stars my spirit may enshrlne;
Thine own has been the brightest yet
Oh, wilt thou be my Valentinef
Storm-tost on life's uncertain sea,
Fate ne'ercan make my spirit pine,
If its wild blast ne'er visits thee J
Oh, wilt thou be my Valentine?
If rifted from my heart each flower,
And dead hopes wreaths of brightest twine
Thy thought would light life's wIthered bower
Oh, wilt thou be my Valentinea
When GIBBS my spirits flowing tide,
And on Its lees is life's bright wine.
Thy sainted image still will bide-
Oh, wilt thou be my Valentne2
Mary Redmond was the daughter of pa
triot somewhat distinguished among his neigh
bors in Philadelphia Many Of her relatives
were loyalists; and she was playfully callet
among them the black eyed rebel She wa:
accustomed TO assist several women whose hus
bands were in the American army, to procure
intelligence. The dispatches were usually sen
from their friends by boy, who carried then
stitched ii the back Of his coat. He came in
to the city bringing provisions to market. One
morning, when there was some reason to feal
he was suspected, and his movements watched
by the enemy, Mary undertook to get the pa
pers in safety from him. She went, as usual,
to the market, and in pretended game OF
romps, threw her shawl over the boys head,
and thus secured the prize. She fastened with
the papers to her anxious friends, who read
them by stealth, after the windows had been
carefully closed. When the news came Ct gen.
Burgoyne's surrender, and the wing women
were secretly rejoicing, the sprightly girl. not
daring to give vent openly to her exutation,
put her head up the chimney and gave ashout
for Gates.
A friend Of ours was one day importuned by
his wife to take her out riding. The gentle
man being a man of business, pleaded his en-
gagements, when the wife replied withsthe old
story, that she must be tied down at home. -
The husband replied that if any person would
furnish him with clothing to wear and suffici-
ent to eat and drink, be would be willing to be
tied down at home.
"A few days after, the gentleman came home
earlier than usual, and being fatigued, lay
down on the sofa and fell into sound sleep.
His wife took cords and silly tied his hands to-
geher, served his feet in the same way, and
made him fast to the sofa. She then set a ia
Bile with all that the house afforded, and placed
started to pay a visit to friend.
Upon her returning late in the evening, she
found her subject of domestic discipline in the
same position, except that be was wide awake.
What on earth does all this mean?' said he.
Nothing quietly remarked his wife, Tex
cept the contamination Of your earthly wishes:
enough to eat, drink and wear and to be tied
down at home
Why, you see, when my man came court
ing me, hadn't the least thought of what he
was after-not l. Jobie come to our house
one night, after dark, and raped at the door.
opened it, and sure enough there was Jobie.
Come in seq |, take cheer
No, Lizzie seq he; I've, come of an ar
rant, an / alwuz du my arrants fust.'
But you had better come in an take cheer,
Mr.. W.
No, can't. The fact is, Lizzie, I've come
on this courtin business. Ny wife's been dead
these three weeks, and every things going to
rack and ruin right away. Now, Lizzie, if
you're mind to have me, antake care of my
house, an my children, an my things, tell
me, an I'll come in an take cheer, if not I'll
get some one else tu.'
Why, was skeer'd and sed-
If you come on this counting business, come
in, must think ont a little
No, can't till know. That's my arrant.
And can't set down till my arrant's done.
i should like to think ont day or tu'
Now, you needn't Lizzie
We'll, Jobie, if must, must-so here's
to We, then
So Mr.. w. came in Then he went after the
squire. and he marries US right off, and went
hum with Jobie that very night.
/ tell ye what it is, these long courtin's don't
amount to nothing at all. Just as well do it
up in hurry.
An old Greenland seaman said he could
readily believe crocodiles shed tears, for be had
often seen whales blubber.
DR.. Dobbs has extracted powerful tonic
from sausages, containing the original strength
of the bark. He christens it 'sulphate of ca
nine.'
What is the difference between butcher
and gay yonng lady? The former kill to
dress. while the latter dresses to kill.
What is the difference between doct. Bran
dreth and bill stcker? The one is a pill
boaster while the other isa bil-poster.
What is the difference between having ali
your children down with the measles and a
well executed counterfeit? The one is sick
family and the other fac-simile
WHAT'S the difference between man 5 gran
ny and his granary? One is his born kin and
the other his corn-bin.
An American wag, day or two since, read
from speech by Richardson. on slavery, and
attributed the sentiments to Fuller; and from
Fuller and attributed them to Richardson
This was done in group in the lobby of the
senate. A distinguished democratic senator
Instantly denounced what be thought came
from Fuller, and lauded excessively the sup
posed declarations Of Richardson. When ey-
cry thing was explained, he collapsed.
There is a progressive chap around Phlla'
delphia, who lives by his wits. and from thei1
quality. we guess he wont starye soon. On
rainy day. he goes boldly into bar-room, o.
BARRIERS shop and Selling the first umbrella
handy. he very angrily says: .Ah found il
DIN pretty note, to 60 and steala mans UNI
brella IN that way!" and away be goes. 10th
er day he marched up toa gentleman 10 Ches-
nut street and grabbing At the umbrella II bis
hand says he: THAT'S mine, sir, where did yon
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