Bellevue gazette. [volume] (Bellevue City, N.T. [i.e. Neb.]) 1856-1858, 1856-11-27
VARIETY.

VARIETY.
Absence is 10 love what fasting is 70
the body; a little stimulates it, but a lone
abstinence is fatal.
Mr.. Albert Smith once wrote in m
hotel register his initials, "a. S." A war
wrote underneath, "Two-thirds of the
truth
An old widow, when her pastor said ,o
her, God has not deserted you in yorr
old age" replied, "No, sir | have a
very good appetite still
1t is concluded on all hands that ladies
are fair-and the chickens are fowL-tbat
the money market is tight, hat the morals
are loose, and morning gowns too.
Williams, our quarter-master, is An
eccentric character. He is married. and
constantly receives letters from his absen,
rib; these however he never opens, bpt
keeps them all tied up. On his return
he says, she can read them all of a lumn
An English cockney at the Falls Of
Niagara, when asked how he liked the
Falls, replied, They're 'andsome-ouite
so; but they don't quite answer my hex.
pectations, besides ! got thoroughly vetted
and lost my at. | prefer to look at 'em
in an hingraving in 'ot weather and in the
Gus"
They have sune primitive habits in
Hamilton county. They wash in mud
puddles and dry on mullen leaves. Tin
pans answer for mirrors, while Mr.. Fin,
the hunter, shaves with a clam shell, IN.
less the beard is over a week old, when
he reduces it with a rasp.
a gentleman having done something
wrong in a public garden of Paris, and
beng called to account for il by one of
the guardians, said to him; "If / were to
put a dollar upon each of your eyes. could
you see :" The answer was, No, but if
| had another upon my mouth | could not
speak"
A young gentleman committed suicide
in a very novel manner. He ate a pint
Of dried apples and drank water till he
4" went in" The rash act was caused by
his father ~forbidding him to grease his
moustaches with the butter-knife. The
young ladies, in crowds, and tears, attended
his funeral, with considerable hustle.
George the Third, talking to Hutton,
the Moravian missionary, said "Mr.
Hutton, | am told that you Moravians do
not select your wives, but leave it to your
ministers to choose for you-is it so"
" Yes, please your majesty marriages
among the brethren are contracted, as
your majesty will perceive, after the fash
ion ofroyahy,"
A queer case of absence of mind is
going the rounds, that happened to a vio-
llnlst at an evening party where he was
invited to play. After having PLAYED a
great many tunes, a lady, one of the COM
pany present, asked him if he could play
a certain difficult air, whereupon, having
tried in vain to recall it to his memory, he
round with great composure and
said, I" wiH the lady please to whiSte it,"
a person named Danger kept a public
house on the Huntingdon road, neal Cam
bridge, England. On being compelled to
quit the house, which was not his own, he
built an inn on the opposite side of the.
road, and caused to be painted beneath his
sign, " Danger from over the way" His
successor in the old house retorted by in
scribing over his door, {" There is no Dan
ger here now"
A Farmers Boy" in Barren county,
Kentucky, advertises for a wife. He says:
He wants to know if she can milk.
And make his bread and butter,
And go to meeting without silk,
To make a " show and futter."
He'd like to know if it would hurt
Her hand to take up stitches;
Or sew the buttons on his shirt,
Or make a pair of breeches.
Lately, at a distribution of prizes in a
German village, a little girl seven wears
old, whose parents had Just been turned
out OF their lodgings, because thew had
failed to pay their rent, was asked by the.
-
Have You studied sacred history, nv
child e.
Eyes, sir