Republican vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1857, 1856-03-01
MISCELLANEOUS.


A Laughable Predicament.
IN December, IS, we were travelling
through one Of the New England towns
in az old fashion stage coach. Nth iIiene
whose powers OF making fun from tb.
slightest cause were manifest from any
passing object that he chose 10 attack. |,
was midnight. aud as we approached the
village of Rid. he rspird large
mansion house Of top Of small sugar.oa
hill, close BY the road. When we arrived
opposite, he asked the driver to stop few
minutes: the request was cheerfClll COM
piled with, al,l ough we were most fire., .
zinp; but what trick he had in view none
could guess.
The funny gentleman marched directly
up to the front door Of the mansion and
knocked with his cane loud enough to
a window.sash syss raised. and out pop.
ped red night.cap containing the head
OF the proprietor, W no IN alarm exclaim-
ed
What what's the matterl What's
wanted at this time Of night'"
pardon me. sir, for this intrusion; but
| have u communication 10 make 10 you
personally. and as The stage is waiting im-
patiently for me, please hurry to the door
for one moments interview"
The old gentleman red night cap with
lts owner ia a garment curta,lrd OF It's fair
proportions, were almost Immediately al
he door, politely Sowing TO the funny
stranger, who again apoiogized for disturb
ing his slumber and thus expusing him to
The chilly winds of December night.
"My dear sir" interrupted Mr.. Night
csp. "don't mention it. but pardon m- for
appearing before you IN the plight IN
which you See me-"
"You ale certainly quite excusable, and
especially as my great haste prompted this
cour,rou, re.ponse to my ell upon YOU"
"Be pleased to step into the house, as l
notice some ladies III the coach are attrac-
ted BY my appearance"
Newer mind them, my dear sir. Youi
finely located mansion Aas arrested the
attention Of US ALT makes a truly beau
tiiul appearance in the brigh. moonlight
Speaking of the moon, bring $ to my mind
the question which has recently aeitated
tn. scientific world; aud in which yot
have undoubtedly been interested, viz
l, thu, iuminaiy Inhabited oris 1t net i'll
habiled: The telescope
Excuse nv interruption, sir; but allow
me 10 get a cloak, for ! am almost fro.
zen and
Ten thousand pardons. my dear friend
but the stage is waiting for me, aud | mus
lose no time, for Of all things in this worlt
time, that
"Allow me to remind you sir, that yo
desired to makes communication 10 me
| am now ready to receive It.
'Ah, mel How unmindful | am in ths
discarg. ola duty incumbent upon me. an
which has been so long protracted. | mos
readily acknowledge"
"Obl,ge me. sir, Nv coming directly Il
the communication YOU d~s;ie 10 make.
"Again, big sou 10 forgive my appa
rent tardiness IN dong so. The tact m
dearest sir, which as a scientific man ! fr
II nv duty 10 tlivu!Ie TO Won Tor your ow
benrfit, for need not inform you that mr
endowed with scientific attainment,
and
But. SIR, l demand without lufther dt
Law, what is the important fact you des'f
TO communicate"
ut is simply this: Your house bein
situated on The apex Of a hill, with side
sloping sufficiently to elbow water to no,
I,herefiom, have stopped the coach TIL
cold night, aud aroused you from you
slumbers to appr'sr you OF the iart ths
YOU can with the greatest ease, drs,n you
ceilur from four different directions
.You internal scoundrrE shr'-ked N
astonishrd and iufurated proprietor II
teach you a tick worth dozen OF this,
as he sci zrd the funny grn,eman's Gait
VINO had commenced a rapid retreat fo' IN
coach-the red night-cap and abrev'as'
white garment alter him as fast as two
spindle shanks could carry him. But tn
funny gent gained upon his pursuer' Ju"t
ed into the coach, which was at once pr
:. into full speed up an adjoining hill wit
the euraged country gentleman, in curtai
ed garment Huttesing in the breeze, in col
pufsuit. but whose hot imprecati"ns again
rs all were enough 10 stiae the ninth OF
live Yankee.
On arriving at the top Of the hill, b
one OF those singular condolences whie
sometimes occur at the crisis. to mar Of
heighten ones happlnrss. we snddrn'
came in contact with two open carriage
abreast. loaded to OVERLOOKING with ladi'
) and gentlemen who were returning froi
/, a country ball. The attention Of the who
marty was soon turned 10 our red rappe'
white gafmented pursuer, who. not likin
so MANY lady spectators, hurled his eau
/ a, us, (Which however. glanced by an
! struck among and aroused family OF n!
by the road side.) and commenced rap
retreat for home. followed BY doze
.ou.aling pigs. barking dog. and aaeek