davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1856-03-06

A HEATED lMAeINATIoN.-A newspaper par
agraph informs US of the factor we ought, per-
haps, to say fiction, for we don't believe it-that
man the other day committed suicide by swal-
lowing red hot poker. We suspect this is a
variation on the old story arising out of the old
worn-out trick of biting an inch off that popular
fire. iron in a state of red heat, process that
must be familiar to every nursery. A man must
be very tired indeed, of life, and especially hard
up for the means of getting rid of his burden,
before he could sit down to deliberately eat the
poker, after having first deliberately heated it.
We are quite satisfied that the article would have
stuck in his throat, and given sufficient time for
any one present to have seized the tongs and
drawn the red hot poker out before the unhappy
suicide could have found time to swallow it. We
are strongly inclined to believe, that if there has
been any suicide in the case, it has been by
drink; and the constant gulping down of grog
of the very hottest and stiffest description has
suggested red-hot poker to the Imagination OF
the writer of the paragraph. We are satisfied
that nobody has ever forced anything of the sort
down his throat, and we confess our own total
inability to swallow it.-Puach.
Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1856-03-06
California Waterfalls.

j. M. Hutchings writes to the Meriposa Ga
Sette description of the Yo-Somity Valley and
its waterfalls. After four days journey from
Mariposa, the writer and his party came in view
Of some of the greatest scenes in nature. We
quote:
son the North side stands one bold, perpen-
dicular mountain of granate, shaped like an i'm
mense tower. Its lofty top is covered with
great pines, that by distance becomes mere
shrubs. Our Indian guide called this the
Captain 1t measures from its valley to the
summit about two thousand eight hundred
feet.
"Just opposite to this, on the South side of
the valley, our attention was first attracted by
q magnificent waterfall, about seven hundred
feet high. It looked like long, broad feather
Of silver, that hung depending over precipce /;
and as this feathery tail of leaping speay thus
hung light breeze moved it from side, and
as the last rays of the setting sun were gliding
it with rainbow hues, the red would mix with
the purple, purple with the yellow, the yellow
with the green and the green with the silver
sheen of its whitened foam as it danced in space.
On rushed the water over the rocky bed, and as
itreacned the valley, it threw upa cloud of mist
that made green and fourishing the erase, and
flowers and shrubs that slumbered at the noun
tain's base-while towering three thousand
feet above the valley, stood the rugged and
pine-covered cliffs that, in broken and spiral
peaks, girdle in the whole.
Passing further up the valley, one is struck
with the awful grandeur of the immense noun
tains on either side-some perpendicular, some
little sloping One looks like lighthouse
another like giant capital Of immence di
mensions-all are singular, and surrounded by
pines
"Now we crossed the river and still advanc
ing up the valley, turned point and before u
was seen an indescribable sght-a waterfall
stwo thousand two hundred feet in height! tn
highest in the world. II PUSHES over tha cliffs
with one bold leap falls one thousand feet, thel
q second of five hundred feet more, then thir
of over five hundred feet more-the three leap
making two thousand two hundred feet
Standing upon the opposite side of the val
ley, and looking at the tall thin pines below
the great height of these falls can at glance b.
comprehended.
about ten miles from the lower end of tn
valley, there is another fall Of not less thai
three hundred feet This, with lesser falls ant
a lake, make the bead of the Yo-Semity valley
SO that this valley is about ten miles in lengt
from half to one mile in width and olthoug
there is good land enough for several FARMS
cannot be considered upon the whole as G. goo
farming valley. Speckled trout, grouse an
pigeons are quite numerous.
Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1856-03-06

THE GHosT OF PIE.-Who but Dickens
could have painted the following exquitite bit of
fresco 4" Once passed fortnight at an inn in
the North of England, where was haunted by
the ghost of pie. 1t was Yorkshier pie, like
fort--an abandoned fort. with nothing in it
but the waiter had fixed idea that it was point
of ceremony, at every meal, to put the pie upon
the table, After some days, | tried to hint, in
several delicate ways, that considered the pie
done with ; as for example, by emptying fag ends
of glasses of wine into it putting cheeseplates and
spoons into it as acooler-but always in vain,
the pie being invariably cleaned out again and
brought up as before. At last it beinginning to
be doubtful whether was not the victim of
spectral illusion, and whether my health and
spirits might not sink under the horror of an i'm
aginary pie, cut triangle out of it, fully a 5
large as the instrument af that name in power
full orchestra. Human provision could not hav
foreseen the result-but the waiter mended the
pie. With some e1ectual species of cement, he
adortly fitted the triangle in again and paid
nv reckoning and fled.
Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1856-03-06
NEW SERIES, NO. IL.
TERMS {sd,S0 strictly in advance.
ILlCh1O, $500 at the years end.
New England Humor.

The lecturer was enforcing the idea that the
sense of contrast and opposition of ideas was
often reached through the effect of total and
embarrassing disappointment in the expected
point of story. OF this kind. he said, was a
question which was once ELECTED from a grave,
matter of fact old man in the town of Andover,
by an animated account of fire in the neighbour
hood AS the usual occupants of the bar-room
were sitting about the fire in the evening. each
with cigar, and glass of suspicious looking
liquor In his hand. there entered farmer from
the North Parish with the air of man who
had much in his mind to communicate.
Ye'd ought to ben over to the North Par
lsh this morning. said he; they was little
the wust fire, guess, they've had for twenty
years in Essex county. fettengelt's new barns
burnt downAatter'n Jerewsalem. Peteuge. he
was Off down'to NeEbusyport with lode ohay,
and they come white owl and lit there on the
end O. the barn Well, that air wild Irish Pad
dy he's he'd over there-l don't see no use o.
havin such good for-nothin shoats reound-he
went and got out Pettengell's old kings arm to
shoot him, jest to please the children, jest fool
ishness
Well, they expect some O. the waddin' went
up into the barn winder, ont the hay emmy
how'n bout half'n hour the barn bust out all in
lite blaze, burnt up more n twenty ton o. Eng
|ish hay, and much as sixteen or seventeen cows,
and three o Pettengell's horses-they didn't get
out but jest oHe ole critter, and he ant good for
nothin burnt the rest on 'em all up clean.-
Pettengell he got home rite in the middle ont
they aint no insurance, and he's most crazy bout
it; he's ben takin' on wuss that ever | see :;
I've been up there tryin to cheer him up, but
he feels dreille bad | tell ysou.'
When this crcumstantiaI narrative was con.
cluded there was general silence-the result,
probably, of sympathy for Mr.. Pettngell. and
of speculation, perhaps, upon the singuarity of
the accident which led to his loss. After the
lapse of several minutes, however, the pause
was broken bv a dull, frosty faced old fellow
who had been staring intently at the Goals eve
since the speaker had finished. Looking up
with an as yet unsatisfed expression of the fac
he inquired, Well, did they kill the owl?'
Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1856-03-06
Darietp.
Female Faces.

know woman who might have been the
ancestress of all the rabbits in all the hutches
in England. A soft, downy looking, fair, placid
woman, with long hair looping down like ears,
and an innocent face of mingled tmidity and sur.
prise. She is sweet tempered thing, always
eating or sleepng-who breathes hard when she
goes up stairs, and who has as few brains in
working order as human being can get on with
She is just human rabbit, and nothing more
and she looks like one. We all know the set
ter woman-the best of all the types graceful,
animated, wel-formed, intelligent, with large
eyes and wavy hair, who walks with firm
Tread but light one, and who can turn her hand
to anything. The true setter woman is always
married ; she is the real woman Of the word.
Then there is the Blenheim spaniel who covers
up her face in her ringlets. and holds down her
head when she talks, and who is shy AMI timid.
And there is the greyhound woman, with Ian
tern-jaws and braided hair, and large knuckes,
generally rather distorted. There is the cat
woman, too elegant, stealthy, clever, caressing,
who walks without noise, and is great in the
way of endearment No limbs are so supple as
hers, no backbone so plant no voice so sweet,
no manner so endearing. She extracts your
secrets from you before you know that you have
spoken, and half an hours conversation with
that graceful, purring woman has revealed to
her every most dangerous fact it has been your
life's study to conceal. The cat woman is
dangerous animal. She has claws hidden in
that velvet paw, and she can draw blood when
she unsheathes them. Then there is the cow
faced woman, generally of phlegmatlc iempera-
ment and melancholy disposition, given to pious
books and teetotalism. And there is the lurcher
woman, the strong-visaged, strong, minded female
who wears rough-coats, with men s pockets and
large bone buttons, and whose bonnets fling a
splteful defiance at both beauty and fashion. |
have never seen true lion-headed woman. ex-
ceping in that black Egyptian figure, sitting
with her hands on her two knees, and grnning
srimly on the Museum world, as Bubastis, the
lion-headed goddess of the Nile.
Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1856-03-06

TRUSTING Innocence A back woodsman,
who had never seen pair of sngar-tongs, being
unhapply was seated near him, to give some in.
formation respecting its use. 1t is very in
genious instrument, said the cruel wag, which
has lately been invented for the purpose of blow
ing the nose 1t is now in use in genteel socie-
ty, and it is expected that the disgusting custom
of using the fingers will be altogether abolished
The sugui-dsh was handed around the unfortu-
nate lion seized the tongs, and the polite part
of the assembly were scandalized at the outre
application Of the instrument, and the remen-
dons explosion which followed.
Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1856-03-06

A New KIND OF APE.--Profersor Owen, the
celebrated naturalist, describes species of ape,
recently discovered on the western coast of AT
rica, named the Gorilla species, the adults of
which attain the height of five feet five inches,
and are three feet broad across the chest. his
head is double the size of mans and its ex-
tremties are enormously developed They ex-
list in some numbers in the interminable forests
of the Gambia river. The negroes of the coun-
try, in their excursions into the forest in search
of ivory, exhibit little fear of the lion, as it
SUNK away from man; but they dreaded the
Gorilla. for when he saw a man advancing, he
came down out of the tree to the attack, and
could strangle man with the greatest ease
The strength of this man ape is enormous; his
jaw is as powerful as that of lion, and his
canine teeth equally formidable ..
Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1856-03-06
Education of the Royal Children

The education of the royal children, says the
Court Journal, being matter in which all must
feel interested, few details of the manner in
which the day of the royal scholars is divided
may perhaps be entertaining to our readers. A
primary regard is paid to moral and religious
duties. They rise early, breakfast at eight, and
dine at two. Their various occupations are al
lotted out with almost military exactness. One
hour finds them engaged in the study of the an
cient, another of the modern, authors, their
acquaintanceship with languages being first
founded on thorough knowledgeof their gram
matical construction, and afterwards familiar
lied and perfected by conversation. Next they
are trained in those military exercises which
give dignity and bearing. Another hour is
agreeably filled up with the lighter accomplish
ments Of music and dancing. Again the happy
little party assemble in the riding-school, where
they may be seen deeply interested in the various
evolutions of the menage. Thence, ,-whilc
drawing and the further exercises of music, and
the lighter accomplishments call off the atten-
tion of their sisters,-the younger Princes pro-
ceed to busily engage themselves in carpenter s
shop, fitted up expressly for them, at the wish
of the Royal Consort, with turning lathe, and
other tools essential to perfect knowledge OF
the craft Thus they early become, not only
theoretically, but practically, acquainted with
the useful arts of life. A small laboratory il
occasionally brought into requisition, at the in
stance also of their Royal father, and the mind
of the children are thus led up from contem
plation of the curiosities of chemical scienc
and the wonders of nature to an inquiry int
their causes. This done, the young carpenter
and students throw down their saws and axes
unbuckle their philosophy, and shoulder thei
miniature percussion guns-which they handl
with the dexterity of practised sportsmen-for
shooting stroll through the royal gardens. Tn
evening meal, the preparation for the morning
lessons, and brief religious instruction, close tn
day
Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1856-03-06

rus of which the whole party from time to time
join. On arrival at the court of the house, the
mother receives the bride, and sprinkles her
with grain and salt. On reaching the door she
alights from her horse upon little table,
covered with gray piece of carpet, and thus
passes into the house without touching the
threghold. The bride is then accompanied to
the bridal chamber, the nearest relatives sprink-
ling her with razi, bonbons made of sugared
nuts and almonds, and glass of water is
emptied at her feet as she enters the chamber.
A dance concludes the amusements of the day,
in which the bride and bridegroom takes no
part. ."-Household Words.
Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1856-03-06

GIVE YOUR CHILD A PAPER-A child begin
ming to read, becomes delighted with a news
paper, because he reads the names of things
which are familiar, and will make progress &C.
cordingly. A newspaper in one year is worth
a quarters schooling to child, and every faith
er must consider that substantial information is
connected with advancement. The mother of
family being one Of the heads and having u
more immediate charge of children should her
self be instructed A mind occupied becomes
fortified against the ills of life, and is bracsd
for an emergency. Children, amused by read
ing OR study, are, of course, more easily gevern-
ed. How many parents, who have not spent
twenty dollars for books for their families would
given hundred to reclaim son or daughter who
had ignorantly or thoughtlessly fallen into tenn
| ptation.
Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1856-03-06

PRETTY GooD-Bur We DON'T BELIEVE IT.
AN affected lady about to be married, in
place not over four hundred miles off, went to
look at some furniture. She wished to have a
piece of furniture to set in corner of the par
lor, upon which to place books and curiostes.
She saw several, but they did not suit. II seems
she could not explain what she wanted. Finally
she said
Mister, have you got any with under troc-
sers in them,
~ ith what inf CALCULATED the surprised
dealer in veneered cherry, &C., with what in q
with under-trow- -trow-trowsers in them
And what in the deuce, madam, would you
do with under-trowsers in a piece of furniture
like that!
Why, to put shells and other curiosites in.
sAh! oh hem You mean dra,cers, eh
Why didn't you say sol Walk up stairs
ma am.
The lady collapsed, and footman placed hel
in an open chariot quickern flash.
Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1856-03-06

HousEBoLp TREAsuREs.--A Treasure of q Hus-
band-Carries the baby.
Treasure of Whichever asks for money.
Treasure of Son-His money in the funds,
A Treasure of a aughter-Looks the same
aee as her mother-if anything a trAe older.
A Treasure of Servant-Runs to the Post
in less than half-an-hour.
Treasure of Cook-Is not hysterical
whenever there is company to dinner.
A Treasure of a Baby-Doesnt disturb its
dear Papa in the middle of the night,--Pnneh' :
Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1856-03-06

A PosER.-An artist who had been employed
to construct an angel for the spire of church IN
neiehboring town, finished the work with
pair of shoes on. Some one undertook to point
ont the error to him, and asked, Who ever saw
an angel with brogaus on : The artist regard :
al the work for moment with an air OF north
cation, but recovering himself, relolned' You
NAV be right, but who ever saw onew without -
Belfast Journal,
Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1856-03-06

A LARGE RUBY.-- The King of Burmah
wears a ruby in the center of his crown which
is larger than q hens egs, and more valuable
than the celebrated Koh-i-noor dimond 1t is
more than two thousand years since it was
found, and is beautifully cut.
Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1856-03-06

A witty doctor says that tight lacing is pub
lie benefit, as it kills off the foolish girls, and
leaves the wise ones to grow to be women.
Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1856-03-06

That which is not prefaced by prayer,
will be followed with trouble"
Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1856-03-06

When l had completed this admirable poem,
invited into the library my excellent wife, and
with considerable feeling, read it aloud to her.
She did not, however, compliment it as highly
as I hoped she would. She said it was not quite
the thing she expected. She thought some
thing more sentimental-somothing more par
ticularly addressed to herself, as my wife
would be preferable; but she added that it
showed desire on my part to please her, which,
In itself, was gratifying.
OF course, shall write no more Letters
from Hillside, unless the Editors of the Home
Journal will promise me not to send their pa
per to this part of the country; as it would
never do for Mrs. Gray, subject, as she is, to
nervous headaches, to find any more papers con-
tanning my epistles.
Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1856-03-06

essed
TO OUR LITTLE BLACK BoY.
Come hither, little black boy,
For once let us agree,
What dost thou most in life enjoy!
Reveal the truth to me.
Art thou most fond Of gay attire,
Blue jackets, waiscoats red J
Or doth thy boy ish mind aspire
To own horse and sled
Say, art thou proud Of doing chores"
About my Hillside homei
Or, hadst thou rather, out Of doors,
Through woods and meadows roami
Dost like, full well, thou simple one
Amidst the hay to be,
And, all thy mornings labors done,
Learn there thyABci
orhadst thou rather plague the cessi;
VI tease old Watch, so braNass. a. ~ .
Or skate upon the frozen brook ;s1A
Or strive the cat to shave IL.
No, no these things, my darkey boy,
Though dearly priced by thee,
Are not what most thou dost enjoy;
Nor most dispeases me.
But this 1t is--know ALI my friends!-
Thou'dst rather lose thy legs;
Take up with life's stray odds and ends,
i
Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1856-03-06
MONTPELIER, VERMONT, THURSDAY,

solved that she should haye'it. After few
minutes consideration, composed. much to
my own satisfaction, the following lines, ad-
dressed
Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1856-03-06
From the Home Journal.
Letters from Hillside.


Mrs Gray's excitemen-What occasoned -Upon the hay
My audience His opnion.--Fre and smoke.-0h, Abb
gail Mfrs. G's remarks.-A poem or a sermon.-The
poem.
New Orleans daily crescent. [volume] ([New Orleans, La.]) 1851-1866, 1856-09-16
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