Smyrna times. [volume] (Smyrna, Del.) 1854-1987, 1856-03-19
handed out my aunt-she assembled the


handed out my aunt-she assembled the
steps, aH -s.. .et
al am delighted to see you," shreked my
wife, and the policeman on the opposite side.
walk started, and my aunt nearly fell down the
steps, .. ...a... .
"Kiss me, my DEAR" howled my aunt and
the hall lamp clattered, and the windows shook
as with the fever and ague. l looked at the
window-John had disappeared. Human ma
ture could stand it no longer. poked my
head into the carriage, and went into strong
commissions.
When entered the parlor my wife was help.
ing Aunt Mary to take off her hat and cape ;
and there sat John with his face
Suddenly, add you have pleasant jour-
neyr went off my wife like pistol, and John
nearly jumped to his feet.
"Rather dusty" was the response in war
whOop, and so the conversation continued
The neighbors for blocks around must have
heard it; when was in the third story of the
building heard every word. .t s...
In the coruse of the evening my aunt took
occasion TO say to me .."
"How loud your wife speaks! DON'T it hurt
her g.
told her all deaf persons talked lsudly, and
that my wife, being used to it, was not affected
by the exertiOn, and that my Aunt Mary was
getting along very nicely with her.
Presently my wife said, softly
"Alf, how very loud your aunt talks -
"Yes," said |, all deaf persons do. You're
getting along with her finely she hears every
word you say" And rather think she did.
Elated by their success at being understood,
they went at it hammer and tongs, till every
thing on the mantle-piece clattered again, and
was seriously afraid of crowd collecting in
front of the house.
But the end was near. My aunt being of an
investigating turn of mind, was DESTROYS of
finding out whether the exertion of talking so
loud was not injurious to my wife. So
doesn't talking so loud strain your lungs!"
said she, in an uRearthly hoop, for her voice
was not as musical as it was when she was
young.
1t is an exertion," shreked my wife.
"Then why do you do it - was the answer
ing scream.
"Because-because-you can't hear if I
don't" squealed my wife.
"What!' said my aunt, fairly rivaling rail-
road whistle this time.
Ibegan to think il time to evacuate the pre-
misas and Ioobino ronnJ ,nl .,n;,..- IL
gone, stepped into the back parlor. and there
he lay, fiat on his back, with his feet at right
angles to his body, rolling from side to side,
with his face poked into his ribs and most
agonizing expression of countenance, but not
uttering a sound. l Immediately and involun-
tarlly assumed a similar attitude, and think
that from the relative position OF our feet and
head, and our attempts 10 restrain our laughter.
apoplexy must have inevitably ensued, if hor-
rlble grOan, which John gave vent to in his en-
deavor to suppress his disability had not betray-
ed our hiding place.
10 rushed my wife and my aunt, who, by this
time, comprehended the joke, and such scold-
ing as / then got never got before, and hope
never to get again. ..
l know not what the end would have been,
if John, in his endeavors to appear respectful
and sympathetic, had not given vent to such a
groan and morse laugh, that all gravity was
upset, and we screamed in concert.
knew it was very wrong, and all that, te
tell such falsehoods but think that Mrs. Opie
herself would have laughed if she had seer
Aunt Mary's expression when she was informed
that her hearing was defective. =.