Wilmington journal. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1844-1895, 1856-02-01
The Deaf AUNT and Deaf VIE.

The Deaf Aunt and Deaf vIfe
had an aunt coming to visit me for the first time
since my marriage, and don't know what evil ge-
MUS prompted the wickedness which | perpetrated
toward my wife and my ancient relative.
My DEAR" said | t. my wife, on the day before
my aunts arrival, you know Aunt Mary is coming
tomorrow we'll, forgot to mention rather annoy.
ing circumstance with regard to her She's verv
deaf and although she can hear my voice. to which
she is accustomed in its ordinary tones, yet you will
be obliged to speak extremely loud in order to be
heard. 1t will be rather inconvenient but know
you will do everything in your power to make her
stay agreeable
Mrs. S. announced her determination to make her,
self heard, if possible.
then went to John T., who loves a Joke
about we'll any person know Of and told him
to be at the house at P. NJ. on the following even.
ing, and felt comparatively happy.
| went TO the railroad depot with carriage next
night, and when | was on my way home with nv
aunt, said
MY dear aunt, there is one rather annoying in
trinity that Anna (his wife, has, which forgot to
mention. She's very deaf, and although she can
hear my voice. TO which she is accustomed in it's or
binary tones, yet you will be obliged to speak ex-
tremey loud in order to be heard. | am very sorry
for it.
Aunt Mary, in the goodness of her heart, protest
ed that she rather liked speaking loud and to do so
would afford her great pleasure.
The carriage drove UPON the steps was my wife
- in the window was John =, with face as
utterly solemn if he had buried all his relatives
! that afternoon.
! handed out my aunt-she assembled the steps
am delighted to see you,'' shreked my wife,
and the policeman on the opposite sidewalk started
and my aunt nearly fell down The steps.
Kiss me, my dear" howled my aunt and the
hall lamp clauered and the windows shook with
the fever and ague. | looked at the wndow-JOhn
had disappeared. Human nature could stand it no
longer, poked ny head into the carriage, and went
into strong commissions.
When | entered the paror my wife was helping
Aunt Mary to take off her hat and cape and there
sat John with his sober face.
Suddenly, Did you have pleasant journey q
went off my wife like pistol, and John nearly jump
ed to his feet.
Rather dusty was the response in war-whoop,
and so the conversation continued.
The neighbors for blocks around must have heard
it when was in the third story of the building
heard every word.
In the course of the evening my aunt took occasion
to say TO
How loud your vile speaks, don't it hurt her %
| told her all deaf persons talked loudly, and that
my wife, being used 10 it, not affected by the
eXeron, and that Aunt Mary was getting along very
nicely with her
Presently my wife said softly
"Alf. how very loud your aunt talks"
Yes" said l. all deaf persons do You're get
ting along with her finely; she hears every word
you say And rather think she did.
EIated by their success at being understooi, they
went at it hammer and tOngs, till everything the
mantle piece cIatered again, and | was serousl y
afraid of crowd collecting in front of the house.
But the end My aunt being of in
yestigating turn Of mind, DESTROYS OF finding out
whether the exerlion of talking loud not in
furious to my wife. So
doesn't talking so loud strain your lungs % said
she, in unearthly hoop, for her voice was not as
musical as it was when she was young.
1t is an eXertion,1 shrieked my wife
Then why do you do it 2" was the answering
scream.
g Because-because-y can't lear if | DON'T
squealed my wife.
g What 2" said my aunt, fairly rvaling railroad
whistle this time
and looking round and seeing John gone, stepped
into the back parlor and there he lay, fat on his
back, with his feet at ght angles to his body, roll
ing from side to side, with his face poked into his
ribs and most agOniZing expression of countenance
| but not uttering sound | Immediately and invol-
UNFAIRLY assumed similar attitude, and think that
from the relative position of feet and head, and
our attempts to restrain laughter apoplexy mus
| have inevitably ensued, if horrible groan which
John gave vent TO in his endeavor to suppress his rs
ability, had not betrayed our hiding place.
In rushes my wife and aunt, who, by this time
! compIehended the Joke, and such scoding
then got never got before, and hope never to &c
again.
F. know not what the end would have been if John
in his endeavors to appear respectful and sympa
thetlC, had not given vent 10 such groan and
horse laugh that all gravity upset, and W
screamed in concert.
| know it was very wrong, and all that, to tel
such falsehoods but think that Mrs. Opie hersel
would have laughed if she had seen Aunt Warys ex
preston when she informed that her hearing
was defective.