davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Nebraska advertiser., 1856-08-30
SflissteIlarlfons.


A friend in Stockbridge (Mass.
sends up the following anecdote of
Rev. Zeb. Twitchell, a Methodist clergy
man in full and regular standing, and
a member of the Vermont Conference.
At one time he represented Stock
bridge in the State Legislature
1'Zeb." " says our informant, s'is 3 man
Of fair talents, both as preacher and
musician. In the pulpit he is grave,
solemn, dignifed-a thorough, sys-
tematic sermonizer; but out of the
pulpit, there is no man living who is
more full Of fun and droIlery. On.
one occasion, he was vending his way
toward the seat Of the Annual Confer
ence of ministers, in company with
another clergyman. Passing country
inn, he remarked to his companion:
''The last time Istopped at that tavern,
I slept s0ith the landlords Wife.r' In
utter amazement, his clerical friend
wanted to know what he meant. 81
mean just what I say" replied Zeb.;
and on went the travellers in unbroken
silence, until they reached the Confer
ence. In the early part Of the session
the Conference sat with closed doors,
for the purpose of transacting private
business, and especially to attend to
the annual examination of each mem
ber's private character, or rather con-
duct during the past year. For this
purpose, the clerk called the roll, as
was the custom, and in due course
Zeb.'s name was called. "Does any
one know aught against the conduct of
brother Twitchell during the past
year?" asked the Bishop, who was
the presiding officer. After moment s
silence, Zeb.'s travelling companion
arose from his seat, and, with heavy
heart, and grave, demure countenance,
said he felt that he had a duty to per-
form; one that he owed to God, to the
church, and to himself. He must
therefore discharge it fearlessly, though
with trembling. He then related what
Zeb. had told him while passing the
tavern, how he slept with the landlords
wife, etc. The grave body of ministers
was struck as with thunderbolt; al
though a few smiled, and glanced first
upon Zeb., then upon the Bishop,
knowingly, for they knew, better than
the others, the character of the accus-
ed. The Bishop called up "brothel
t." and asked him what he had to say
in relation to so serious charge. Zeb
arose and said 81 did the decd / never
lie." Then, pausing with an awful
seriousness, he proceeded, with slow
and solemn deliberation: sTThere was
one little circumstance, however, con.
nected with the affair, / did not name
to the brother. 1t may not have much
weight with the Conference, but al.
though it may be deemed of tri1ins
Importance, I viii state it: when
slept with the landlords wife, as
told the brother, Z kept the tauen my
sefp The long and troubled coun
tenances relaxed; a litter followed
and the next name on the roll wal
called"
Nebraska advertiser., 1856-08-30
CHANGES M A L1rErrm.

The death of Rogers, the poet, at
the age of ninety-One, suggests what
vast changes have occurred within his
vast lifetime. He has left on record,
in bis 'Table-Talk," " that he saw the
heads of the rebels on Temple Bar;
that he saw several girls, who were
mere children, going to execution for
having participated In the Lord George
Gordon riots; and that he had talked
with General 0glethorpe, who had
taxed with men who remembered the
rebellion, and were cotemporary with
the death of Charles the First. What
mighty changes rise before the memory
in thinking of such a life? The progress
made in manners, in laws, in material
progress, among all civilized nations,
since Rogers was a child is almost In
credible. Bull-baiting and cock-fght-
ing, for example, we're the amusements
of the highest classes then; while now
such exhibitions have ceased to be
attended, even by the lowest and most
vulgar. Men were quartered for great
crimes, and their quarters left to rotin
sun and wind, in presence of a whole
city then; while now, for the same
crime, transportation is the severest
punishment, and it is generally follow
ed by a speedy pardon. Finally, the
difference between aTom Jones" and
the 'Newcomesp in decency, illustrates
the difference in manners of that age
and this.
The laws Ssvechanged not less, and
invariably for the better. 1t this coun.
try primOgeniture has been abolished
and republicanisrn substituted for cole
NAL slavery. In England a penal code
almost as bloody as Draco's, has beer
replaced by one comparatively mild
taxation has been more eqitably ad.
Ijusted; the law courts have been re-
formed, and legislation generally i'm
bued with more popular character
The world before the Deluge, and ths
Nebraska advertiser., 1856-08-30

The composing room of a printing
Office is not the place to tell long stories,
or argue abstruse points in metaphys-
les. Read, ye loungers, and be adj
yised:
"a printing Office is like a school;
it can have no interlopers, hangers-on,
or twaddlers, without serious ineon-
venience, to say nothing of loss Of
time, which is just as much as gold to
the printer as though it metalically
glistened In his hand. What would
be thought of man who would enter
a school, and twaddle first with the
teacher and then with the scholars
interrupting the studies of one and
the discipline of the other? And vet
this is the precise effect of the lOafel
in the printing Office. He seriously
interferes with the course of business
distracts the fixed attention which il
necessary to the good printer. M
gentleman VIII ever enter it and pre-.
sumo to act loafer. He will feel abov,
it, for noreal man ever sacrifices th,
interests OF interferes with the dutier
Nebraska advertiser., 1856-08-30
NEVER uEspAIR.

There is great danger Of Christian
wives losing sight Of the unconverted
state of their husbands, when those
husbands are affectionate partners, and
kind, exemplary citizens. And there
is no less danger, perhaps, of circour-
agement, if many prayers have gone
up for their conversion without appar-
ent effect, and many tender words have
been spoken in seasons when the heart
seemed open and impressible toreceiYe
them. We have seen wives who had
tacitly abandoned all hope of the con-
version of their companions in life,
and cherished no real and vital solici-
tude for them. But the true Christian
should never despair, but rely on the
promises of God never repealed, and
SOW beside all waters, assured of find
ing fruit after many days. Rev. T.-S.
Cuyler gives, in the Christian Intelli-
gencer, an incident in point:
az am forever done with church
going and preaching, said skeptical
husband to his piOus wife, after listen
ing to a pungent sermon on infdelity
But the wife prayed. That is whai
every wife can do. She prayed. my
dear, said she, one evening, with gentle
voice, will you grant me one little re
quest? Go with me tonight to mee::,
ing. 4 will 90 to the door, but NJ
further he replied. THAT will do,
said the amiable wife. They went tc
gether. They parted at the entrance
her heart absorbed, as she took he
seat, in fervent prayer for her beloved
partner. Some minutes elapsed; ser
vice had commenced, when suddenl,
the door opened, a heavy step advanc
ed, and, to her unspeakable Joy, he
husband calmly seated himself neal
her. That night Mr.. 81. was interest
ed and affected. The next evening
after tea, as they satconversing at the
pleasant freside, the husband rose, and
while tear trickled down his cheek
Wife, said he, as It not time to 90 t
Church, She sprung from her chair
and, though it was early by who'll
hour, she feared delay. Taking ha
and cloak, they went. That was tn
happiest night Of their welded life
for Mr.. II. took his place among tn
inquirers, and for the last ten year
has sat beside has wite at the communion
table. Reader, have you done Uyou
duty to your unconEerted friends!
Nebraska advertiser., 1856-08-30
AMERICAN MANNERS ann ENGLISH ExAGv
ERATTON.

If there be any one thing in which
English travellers usually exhibit either
their prejudice or their stupidity, it is
in attempting to describe the language
and manners Of our people. The fol-
lowing is case in point. The Hon.
Miss Murray, in her book on the
United States, give the following as
an actual conversations sChich she heard
between ten young ladies in a first
class American Hotel:
''Miss, it's feeding time, I guess
what will you eat?'
"You're very polite, to be sure;
what's the ticket"
"Chicken and corn fxings, and pork
with union fixings."
'FWell, I'm hungry some; I'll have
some pig and fixings.''
The twain retired, and brought a
profusion of viands, which elected the
remark
f'Well, that's substantial"
The young ladies appetltes appear
ed to be good, for I heard the observa.
ton aa
''WeI, you eat considerable; you're
in full blast guess"
"Guess I am, too; it's SO all free
cold, and / have been such an ever.
lasting long time off my feed"
A long undertoned conversation
followed this interchange Of civilities
when | heard the lady say
0YOu're trying to rile me some
you're piling it on a trifle too high"
'Well, / did want to put up you
dander. Where was you raised?'
sIn Kentucky"
EtI could have guessed that: when
ever I see splendiferous gal, kinde
gentle goer, and high stopper, I say
to myself, says I, now that ere gaI'
straight from old Kentuck, and no mis-
take"
Nebraska advertiser., 1856-08-30
ppttrg,
An AmER1cAH FOREST SONG.
BIZ ALFRED B. srRIEET.

BIZ ALFRED B. SIRlsEI.
NOE auttering breeze-nOw stormy blast,
Mild rain, then clustering snow
Winters stern lettering cloud is passed.
But sweet Spring where art thOE!
TIha white cloud Hoats mid smiling blue,
The broad bright sunshine's golden hue
Bathes the sill frozen earth:
'Tis ehangedl-abOve, black ynpOls roll
We turn from our expected stroll,
And seek the blasting hearth,
HaFk---tliat sweet carroll with dslight
We leave the sitting room
The littl. blue-bird meets our sight
SpEing, glorious Spring, has eOrnei
The south winds balm Is In the air,
The melting snOW-Wreaths every where,
Are leaping OF in showers;
And Nature, in her frightening looks,
Tells that her flowers and leaves and brooks,
And birds viii soon be ours.
A few soft sunny days have shOne,
The air has lost its chill,
A bright green tinge succeeds the brown
Upon the southern hill.
on to the woods pleasant seenaI
Here sprouts the fresh young Winte-green,
There sweIls messy mound
The wandering wind is sweet and mild,
And buds are bursting Mound.
Where its long rings uncurls the fern,
The violet nesting low,
Casts back the white lid of its urn,
Its purple streaks to show,
Beautiful blossom! first tOrise
And smile beneath Springs Wakening, skies,
The courier of the band
Of coming aowers-what feelings sweet
Gush as the silver gem we meet
Upon its slender Wandl
Warmer is each successive sky,
More soft the breezes pass;
The naples gems of crimson lie
Upon the thick green grass,
The dogwood sheds its clusters white,
The birch has dropped its tassels slight,
Cowslips are round the nj;
The thresher whistles in the glen,
FIutters around the Warbling wren,
And sWaEnps have voices shri1.
A simultaneous burst Of leaves
Hath clothed the forrest;
A single days bright sunshine WeaYes
This vivid, gorgeous show.
Masses Of shade are cast beneath,
The flowers are spread in varied wreath,
Night brings its soft, sweet moon;
Morn wakes in mist, and twilight gray
Weeps its bright dew, and smiling May
Melts into blooming June!
Nebraska advertiser., 1856-08-30

The utilitarian tendency Of the
present age is already sufficiently well
established, but the story of the dis
covery of a coal mine in the side of
Mount Zion is now completely eclipsed
by the calculations of a modern trav-
eler, one DR.. Deck, who, according to
the Baltimore (Md.) San, has explored
the entire valley of the Nile, and esti-
mates '.that the mummy pits of the
Nile contain about FIVE hundred mil
lions Of embodied Egyptians, who with
their linen and papyrus cerements.
would furnish excellent material for
first class paper. As the adipose and
muscular matter Of these bodies has all
been converted into fibre, it can be
converted into pulp with the same
facility as vegetable matter" The
Doctor therefore recommends these
mummy catacombs as containing an
almost inexhaustable supply Of paper
making material.
A Syracuse paper appeared few
days ago printed on paper manufae-
tured by Mr.. G. W. Ryan, Marcellus
Falls, entirely from the wrappers of
mummies imported for the purpose
We have not learned that any one has
actually used the animal matter Of the
mummies themselves for the purpose,
but MIR. Ryan pronounces these rags
about equal 70 the French and English
rags.
Nebraska advertiser., 1856-08-30

A BEAUTIFttt ALLEGoRY.--A travF
eler who spent some time IN Turkeys
relates q beautiful parable which wan
told by q dsrVise and which seemed
even more beautiful han Stsrnsis celeE
brated figure Of the accusing angel
sETery man" says the .derTise, shaB
tWtl angels; one Oh his right shoulder
and one on his left. When he d0sa
anything wrong, the angel on the left
shoulder writes It down. He waits TIL
midnight. IF before that the man
bows down his head and exelaims,
sGracious Allah! I have sinned, for
give me2' the angel rubs il out; and
if not, at midnight he seals II; andthe
angel on the right shoulder Weeps."
Nebraska advertiser., 1856-08-30
GRACE BEFORE NEAT.

The friend in Texas is responsible
for the following:
"0ne of our stock-raisers, in hunt
ing some cattle on cloudy day, not
long since, got bewildered and lost on
a prairie; the weather came on stormy
and thick, so he could not tell what
course to take and wandered about
three days with not a mouthful to eat.
About noon, on the third day, it cleared
up a little, and he struck out for a
house he saw a long ways off. On
reaching it, and making known his
hungry condition, the householder
who was aparson-expressed his warm
sympathies for-him, and told him to
sit down, that dinner would be ready
after a while. When dinner was an
nounced, "Our hero," suiting the
action to the word, was promptly in
seat, and as promptly began to make
himself perfectly at home with what
ever was within his reach. At this
crisis, the reverend gentleman at the
house interpOsed with, Stop, stop
we are In the habit of saying some
thing here before zoe eat Our hero
filed his mouth nearly full, and with.
out stopping or apparently noticing
particularly what had been said to him
replied, GO on, and say whatever You
id please, you can't turn ma
stomach nOW. En-.
Nebraska advertiser., 1856-08-30

Franklin was an observing and
sensible man, and his conclusions were
seldom incorrect. He said that news
paper and Bible in every house and
good school in every district-alI
studied and appreciated as merited-
are the principal supporters Of virtue,
morality and civil liberty.
Nebraska advertiser., 1856-08-30
A RE1rrx1sEHcE OF TIE MINES.

A RFMINIsENCE OF THE MINES.
Up in the mountain solitude,
Beside "piIe" of clay,
A wight, with shovel, pick and pan,
Stood at the close of day;
His shirt and sash were very red,
His nose was very blue,
And tho the SCENE around was grand,
The PROSPECTS, wouldn't do.
His,hat-enOugh, twas shocking bad,
His sunburnt neck was bare;
One eye locked droll, the other sad,
Beneath his unkempt hair;
His muddy jaek-boOts Of all jet
Were long ago bereft,
And unto them, like unto him,
But little SOLE was left
From out his pale, unsmiling lips,
With rank beard Overgrown,
Outspake this lonely mining man,
In semi-grOWIing tone;
While restlessly his jaek-boot kept
The devils tattoo drumming
81 had no SENSE in coming here,
I've gained no CENTS by coming.
al have not sinned as some folks do;
PICK, but do not steal
And tho my ways Of life are HARD,
Ny hearts soft 70 feel
Ny neighbOr's failings let pass
Icovet not shade
Of all his goods, nor OK, nor ass,
Nor man, nor servant maid.
aButftg this last l claim no grace,
Though some may not approve it,
Because in this infernaI place
There are no maids to cOvet;
Nor sparkling eyes, nor beaming Smiles
That filed my dreams Of yOre;
Alas. alas those days are past,
Ny day dreams now are ORE!
GOh, for one hour, where some ones tyes
Are bright and purely glancing,
And some ones dainty little feet
To joyous measures dancing;
Where grncefuI forms are floating round
Most potsntheart dissOlvers;-
None but RoPE dancers here are found,
Surrounaed by revoIvers.
GOh, for one h,our where carly life
Flowed passing merrily,
Where yOuth still hung on loW-tOned word
And not uPon-a tree;
Where friends could ErangIe and debate,
About each passing tride.
Nebraska advertiser., 1856-08-30
PUNCH on HEGDACEE.

The female headaches are innumera-
bic, but they arise principally from
vexation and disappointment. They
may be divided into 'Enervous" and
'sick" headaches. The nervous is
irritable, and cannot bear being spoken
to; the sick is respondent, or sulky,
and burst into tears at the least contra
diction. An unpopular visitor, brought
home accidentally to dinner, win pro
duce an alarming attack of headache,
and the symptoms that successfully
follow instant loss of appetite, deafness,
pevishness, hysteria, and finally pre-
cipitate retreat to the bed room. The
poor servants feel the effects of the
headache as much as any one, and dc
not stop in the room longer than they
can help. These unfortunate head
aches are very frequent about thai
time Of the year when every one is, Oh
is supposed to be, out Of town, and dc
not cease until the patient has beer
carried to the seaside for change o.
air. The milder forms will vanisl
upon the application of a piece O.
jewelry; or if the forehead is wrapped
up in a new shawl, it is astonishing
with what rapidity the headache dis.
appears. Sometimes a shifting of the
scene is requisite, and thus a box a
the opera has been known to producC
an instantaneous cure, even when the
headache in question has been of tn,
most stunning description, and tn,
opera played has been one of Verdi's
Nebraska advertiser., 1856-08-30

STRAYED.-BFoke into the pocket
of the editor Of this paper a ten cent
piece: Who it belongs to, or where
It came from it is . mystery to Us and
we earnestly request the owner to come
and take it away. We have beenwith-
out money so long, that ITS use is
entirely forgotten. Upon one side is
a beautiful young lady, with a hand
kerchief to Eef eyes-weePing to think
she has no mate-and her night cap
on pole, as q signal Of distress. Once
getting angry, We pinched her severely,
but she wouldn't come to quarters,
and now we beg that some one will
come and claim her. Waterloo (IH)
Patriot.
Nebraska advertiser., 1856-08-30

A You've HUsBAND.-0n making 4
call the other day, at the house Of an
American missionary in Jerusalem, Z
saw little boy in the Turkish costume,
sitting on sofa Ny first thought
was, What an enormous turban the
boy has on and my second-Hcw
very small he is!' Judgeo Of my surprise
when I found he was husband, being
little more than ten years old, and his
wife ninei Truly, this is beginning
life young. And this reminds me that
a friend of ours saw an American lady
in Alexandria, who although but TWEEN
ty-six years of age, was a grand
mother? This goes quite beyond early
marriages in the United States.
Nebraska advertiser., 1856-08-30

Of others. The lOafer does both. Let
him think, if he ever has, that the last
place he should ever insinuate his
worthless and unWelcome presence iB
m the printing Office. .''-GsOggia Citiai
Nebraska advertiser., 1856-08-30

An editor down east announces
the birth of his ninth child under the
head Of distressing casualty"
Nebraska advertiser., 1856-08-30
a New priNleR.

This is our first iffort at sfpesst.ing,
we presume THAI it VIII show 4hat we.
cBn learn 4ast. we are self-tDuqvt too.
Me want no hklp' we VIII have it right
wilthsnt assistance. Lhe prosf viii
need no correction we don't inteud TO
An it every daE but We win let tue
prI4ers know lhat VIC are One q them.
ia < about the AIT of drin-ing: It
rs Just IS z So as ro9 9inG of f log.
Nebraska advertiser., 1856-08-30

One of the Craft.-The editor of the
Pittsburg Post was determined to show
his compositors that type-setting was
not such difficult art after all. Here
is his first attempt, which is certainly
very creditable to new beginner:
Nebraska advertiser., 1856-08-30
TERRG5s
RATES OF ADVERTISING:

r ivance viii be required for all advertise
81 where actual responsibility is known.
E cent for each change be added to the
airrs
G Business Cards Of I've lines or less, fOE
one 20.
isements viii be considered by the year
nnl ifod on the manuscript, or previously
"a. u between the parties.
oments not marked on theeopy for \ speci-
"a 3 Of Insertions win be continued until or
f1Iea md charged accordingly.
8n rtisements from strangers or transient per
na,s . naid In advance.
Iege Of yearly advertisers win be confined
r.. s. |heir own business and all advertisement
ncI ne thereto, to be paid for extra.
= q advertisements charged double the aOoV'
rates
nents on the inside exclusively viii b
Ia
Nebraska advertiser., 1856-08-30

May heaven shield ye, fair one,
And keep ye from all harm,
Rebuking aught that may arise
Your thoushts 70 give alarm,
The Opelousas courier., 1856-12-20
Les SEPT PREM1ERs PRESIDENTS DE L'U.

LES SEPT PREMIERs PRESIDENTS DE L u
NIoN.-Un amateur de statisiques ct de
rapprochements s'est amuse reunir les diff.
ferentes combinaisons qui suivent propos
des sept premiers presidents des Etats Unis
Washington, Jefferson, Madison, Monroe,
John Adams, John Quincy Adams ct Jack.
son.
Quatre etaient de la Virginie, deux du
| Massachusetts ct lie septeme du Tennessee.
pexception dun seul, lis ont tous etc rec
Ius ct ont tous quite lie pouvor Page de
Sc ans. 81 celui qul fait exception e1t etc
rtelu, il aurait egaIement eu sc ans la fin
de sa seconde presidence.
Trois sont morris lie 4 juliet ct deux de
ceux-I -Ia-gui avaient fait partie du SOUS
comit6 des Trois, charge de rediger la de.
cIaration de Finder ependance-- sont morris
preeisement lie jour du cinquieme annvef-
saire de cette declaration. Tros avaient
un nom qu finissait par son. Trois initiates
snffisent pour les mons de six d'entre eux,
divises par groupes de deux.-La seuIe ini-
tale qni brlIe dun 6clat unique est ceIIe
de Washington Iuimeme. Enfin, des cinq
premiers presidents, I'D seul await un fiIs,
qui lui.meme habite la Maison Blanche.
The Opelousas courier., 1856-12-20
L'ELECTI0N PREsLDENTIELLE.

Depuis les dernieres nouvelles de la Cali
fornie, nous commissions le vote de tous le:
Eats de lUnlon. NJ. Buchanan recr
Fillmore g. Volci les suFfages obtenus pal
le candidat democratic Pennsylvania, 27
New. Jersey, Z Indiana, IL; Illinois, IL
Virgine, Is Caroline du Nord, 10; Caro-.
line du Sud, 8 George, 10; Alabama, 9
Floride, 3 Delaware, 3; Mississippi,
Louisiana, 6 Texas, Arkansas. 4 Ken
tucky, l2; Tennessee, i2; California, q
Missouri, 9. Fremont eu les 8 voix du
Maine, hes 5 du New. Hampshire, les 5 du
Vermont, les l3 du Massachusetts, les du
Connecticut, les du Rhode Island, les 80
de New York, les % de rOhio, les 6 du Mi
chigan, les 5 du Wisconsin, ct les de
l'Iowa. On salt que Fillmore ma obtenu
que les voix da Maryland.
Buchanan eu soixante voix electorales
de plus que Fremont. Sa majorite sur lie
vote reuni de Fremont ct Fillmore, est de
cinquanie. deux yoix electefales.
QUAINT aux sufffages populaires, bien que
tous les bulletins officiels n'aient pas encore
ete recus Washington, ills Sc repartissent
d'apres des donnees positives, de la maniere
suivante Buchanan l,730.0OO; Fremont,
1855 ,0s3; Fillmore, 799472; faisant un
total de 3,767 ,555 voix. En 1852, Pierce
await recu 1855, ,545 voix Scott, l,3s3,573
ct Hale I57, ,296 total 3, 1864
La majorite de Buchanan sur Fremont
sera d'euyiron un demi million de voix popu-
laires en- y ajoutant les 799,472 donn6es a
Fillmore, la minorite du candidat repnhli-
cain Sc trouve portee environ un million
trois cent mile voix.