The North-Carolinian., 1856-08-09
NORTH CAROLlNIAN.
A Cute Yankee.
FL YE ETTETILLE. A. n

An excellent story is told concerning the
manner in which Yankee sold the landlord in
a village in Ohio, through which the Great
National Road passed. 1t was we'll known nv
the travellers on this road that it was impossi
bic to get full meal at the hotel in ore ton,
because an understanding existed between the
landlord and the driver, and, almost as Sc on as
the passengers were seated at the table. the
stage was ready to start On occasion
among the passengers was a Yankee who would
he ''goll darn'd if he wouldn't hav the vallc o
his money, any hcaow." His fellow passengers
were anxious to know how to manage it, ant
after a while they learned how.
breakfast ready, gents" said the landlord
as the stage drove up to the door. "'rake
wash, gents! Here's water, basins, towels ant
soap"
After performing these ablutions, they al
proceeded to the dining room aud commenced
an onslaught upon the e,libles, though Hez
took his time. Scarcely had they tasted thei,
coffee when they heard the unwelcome sonnd o
the horn and the driver exclaim, "stage ready!'
Up rise eight grnmbling passengers, pay their
fifty cents, and take their seats.
"Al aboard, gents?" inquired the landlord
One missing said they.
Proceeding to the dining room, the host finds
Hez very cody helping himself to immense
piece of stake, the size of a horses lip.
You'll be left sir. Stage is going to start
wal, haiht got hOtNlnS 10 say gam II,
drawls out Ilez.
Cant wait sir; better take your seat
'Dew whatT
Get in sir
'I'll be gol darned ef dew, nuther, till I've
got my brcakfuss! Pve paid for it, and am
goin' to get the vale on It; and ef yew calker-
late amt ycw Mistaken
So the stage did start, and left IIez, who
continued his attack upon the edbles. Biscuits,
(-c II hcfO no
of his astonished landlord.
Say, squire, them 'ere cakes is bout cont
fetch another grist You, (to the
waiter, 'nuther cup of that air coffee. Pass
them eggs. Raise your own pork, squire?
This 'mazn nice ham. Land bout here tolera-
bic cheap, squire? Hant much maple timber,
hav yew? Dewin rite smart trade, squire, |
kalkerlate. Don't lay yer own eggs, dew ye?
and thu, IIez kept quizzing the landlord until
he had made hearty meal. Say, squire no"
Pm bout to conclude paying my devowers tew
this 'erc table, but ef yew'd just give bowel
of bread aud milk tew sorter top off WITH I'd
be obliged tew ye So out goes the landlord
and waiter for the bowl of min and bread, and
set them before Hez
Spoon, tew, if you pleasc?' But no spoon
could be found. The landlord was sure he had
plenty of silver ones laying on the table when
the stage stopped.
Say, yew, dew you think any of the passen-
gers took them!
I don't know. Do you think they did,?
Dew | think? No, dou't think, but | am
sartain. If they are all green yew bout
here, Pm going to locate Immediately and at
wonst.'
The landlord rnshcs out to the stable and
starts man after the stage. which hard gone
about three miles. The overtakes the
stage, aud says something to the driver in e. low
tone. He Immediately turns back, and
arriving at the hotel, Hcz came out to take his
seat, and says:
'Heow are you gents? Pm rotton glad tew
sec yew.'
Landlord says to Hez:
Can you point out the man who you think
has the spoons?
Pint him cout? Sartainly kin. Say, squire
paid you four and ninepencc for breakfast
and calkerlate ] got the value ont Yew'll
find them Spoons in the coffee-pot! Go ahead,
all aboard, driver