Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1856-09-17

| A few years since as a New England gentle
man, whose name we shall call Brown, was
passing a few DAYS at hotel in one of our west
ern cities, he had the misfortune to unintention-
ally offend the susceptible honor of tall Indiana
colonel, who was one of his fellow boarders.-
His apologies not being satisfactory, challenge
was sent him, which, however, he declined upon
the ground of conscientious scruples. The Col
onel, who, by the way, had won in two or three
encounters quite reputation as dueist, at
once conceived the idea that his opponent was
coward, and resolved to disgrace him by fogging
him in the face of all the assembled wisdom OF
the house. Accordingly, the next day at dinner
time in marched the duelist, armed with for
midable cowhide, and advancing to Browns
chair, proceeded to dust his jacket for him in the
most approved style. Brown was astonished.
Luckily he had been lieutenant of militia in his
native State, and knew the Importance of in
commoding his enemy by diversion So, seiz-
ing gravy tureen, he tossed the contents into
the face of the belligerent Colonel, and before
that hero could recover from the drowning SEN
sation thus occasioned, he sprang upon the table
and began to shower upon him with liberal
hand the contents of the dishes around.
"You are an Internal"
"Coward," the Colonel was about to say, but
at that moment plate of greens struck full upon
his mouth, and the word was blockaded and lost
forever!
"Ha!" cried the little New Englander, whose
blood was now up, "fond of greens, are youi-
Take potatoe too" and he hurled telling
voley of hard potatoes at him. Excellent eggs
here, capital things with calves head" and
crash came plate of soft-boiled eggs against the
side of his Uranium.
The blows of the cowhide, which had hitherto
descended upon the Yankees head and shoulders
now began to fall more weakly and wildly, and
If became evident that the asSailant, half stunned
choked, and partially blinded, was getting the
worst of it. His courage was fast oozing out.
"Take turkey" shouted Brown, as a noble
old gobler descended fairly upon the Colonels
head, and bursting, filling his hair and eyes with
delicious looking stuffing "here's the tixings,
he continued, as the squash and jelly followed
after"
By this time the Colonel was irretrievably de
feated, and his merciless opponent seized huge
plum pudding steaming hot, and holding 1t above
his head with both hands, seemed about to bury
him beneath it, he quailed with terror, and
throwing down his cowhide, turned about and
made a rush for the door.
s:Stop for the pudding, Colonel, stop for the
pudding" shouted Brown, "Pudding, Colonel
pudding" screamed all his fellow boarders, amid
convulsions of laughter. But the Colonel was
too terrified to listen to their kind invitations
and did not cease running until he had locked
himself up in his room.
But although the Colonel escaped from the
plum pudding, he could not escape from the rid
| icule which the affair occasoned. He subse'
ouently challenged four persons, against whom
his ire was particularly excited, and they all
consented to fight, but availing themselves OF
the privilege of the challenged party, appointed
pudding bags for their weapons. AT length the
unhappy duelist finding no one who was willing
to shoot or be shot at, was obliged to quit the
ate.-PorttoliO.