Squatter sovereign., 1856-04-01

II they but own full tithe Of gold,
And wear costly suit.
MY Hearers: we come to
sort cut the vast heap of humanity. belong
ing to the creation. we find that three Sc
parate and distinct piles are necessary to
be made, viz: one for the common rubbish,
or loafers; another, for the spurious gem
tlemen, manufactured by tailors; and
another, for the real Simon Pure gentle
men, wrought from heavens best material,
by the all-skilful hand of Omnipotence
This last heap is always a great deal
smaller than the other two, but when
placed in the scales of real worth. they
will weigh down five hundred just like
them; and it is upon this principle alone,
that a pound of lead is heavier than q
pound of feathers. The drunken, good
for-nothing loalers, are no gentlemen at
all, any how you can fix it /; and those who
are tinkered up Of broadcloth, buckram,
6nger-rings, safety-chains, soft solder,
vanity and impudence, are no gentlemen
either, no more than plated spoon is solid
silver throughout. They are only so called
by the foolish votaries of fashion-intend-
ed as cheat and dead suck-in for the
worlds great market. Why, my friends,
they are mere walking sticks for female
flirts, ornamented with brass heads, and
barely touched with the varnish of eti-
quette. Brass heads, did I say2 nay
their caputs are only half ripe musk-mel-
ons, with inonstrous thick rinds, hollow
within, containing the seeds of foolishness
swimming about in a vast quantity Of sap.
Their moral garments are double-breast
ed coat of vanity, padded with pride. and
lined with the silk of urbanity their other
apparel is all in keeping, and imported
fresh from Devil, Belzebub s. Co s whole
sale and retail ready made clothing estab-
lishment. Beneath these trappings of sn-
perciliousness and folly. may be found
hearts, rotting in the scum, of licentious-
ness, and as much blacker than the inner
surface OF steamboat pipe, as chimney
sweep is blacker than the midday sun in
the heavens. And yet these over-blown
bladders of iniquitous show are called
gentlemen! If ] thought numbered any
Of these goats in my flock, would preach
them out of the synagogue quicker than
ever lightning chased a squirrel down a
hickory tree. But let them travel off with
their high-heeled boots of fself-consequence:
let then, carry their bundles of dry goods
down the Broadway of perdition: let
them flourish, for time, like poisonous
weeds upon dunghill: let them spi. upon
the poor beggar, and kick his dog, as he
sits perishing at the golden gate of opu-
lence: let them get so all-defying stiff
that they can't bend, like young sapling,
to the gale-and they will find, thai, should
the storms of penury beat upon their bea-
vers, they will snap as short as pipe stems,
and the starch will evaporate from their
dickeys of pride in the short space Of no
time at all. These storms will most as
suredly wash out the gravel from the foun-
dations upon which their humbug qualif-
cations of gentlemen rest, and down they
will tall. 10 be reared up again only by
the hands of propitious fortune. Yes, my
friends. ! say let them go about thrusting
their spurious certificates of honor in the
face of piain-clad honesty; but when they
are laid low In the dust of seryile depen-
dence, then,I guess, they will find out, foi
a certainty, that they are the veries, vermiI
that ever beslimed the paths Of decenl
society.
My friends-I shan't NEEDLE with the
women in my present discourse, because
they were never intended to be gentle.
men. Suffice it TO say, that every fenals
is lady in the parlor, ard po;-sluer ii
the kitchen, according 10 the opinion o
mankind generally. But I will tell yo,
what real gentlemanis. is. He is an hum
ble, charitable, philanlhropic, honest, up
right man-whieh, you all know, is th'
modest work of God. He wears the er
mine robe of truth, and his jeweiled star i
his own good name: he weeps over th'
widows as they weep over the new-Inad'
graves of their husbands be feels 70
them in his pockets.) when they ar
compelled to gnaw the dry erusts of ad
Iversity: he pitches pennies into the laps 9
bare-footed orphans. and pays the sam
respect to a dog with a muzzle on his nos
as to one with a gold ring about his neci
He puts no molasses on his tongue 10 a
tract the gilded flies Of fashion, nor wound
innoceni breasts with the barbed arrows {
Islander, he yenerases The grey hairs {