The Evansville daily journal., 1856-05-15
GBe Daap goutnal
LOCAL DEPARTMENT.
SONG OF sCALLAwAGGER.
BY Up TOWN, ESQ.

near the song OF SkallaWagger,
SkaslawageF OF the Hindoos,
"a <Brother of great Snolly -goster)
He who writes the Police ILens;'
tie who tells the tale OF sorrow;
Tells of crimes and misdemeanors;
k. Tells of sprees and drunken rowdes,
Sings of whisky bouts anu so forth.
should you ask me whence these stories,
Wh thes. tales Of fights and frolics?
/ will answcr-I will tell You,
From the Books of the Recorder,
The Recorder OF the city:
he who sits upon the 'wOolsack,'
. He who wears the spotess ermine;
Listens to the testimony;
Muicts fine, or sends 10 prison,
Or discharges, when lot guilty.
Pirs. upon the squires docket,
lfhus hath Scallawagger found it,
Stands Charles Higey,' charged with-whiskey;
Squire heard the testimony,
Heard how Charles had 'swgged a tickler'
'Smid' until he got quite npsey,
sSmil'd' because II was blue Monday.
Rich he grew and independent,
Felt himself lord of creation,
And annoyed his sober subj eSts.
Then ths Marshal came aud took him,
ssi Kindly took him to the So uire--
He sits upon the 'wOolsack,'
He who wears th spotless ermine'-
As he sat in solemn judgment
Thus the Squire said to Higley,
Thus the Squire did to Hig ,eS:
''You have taken too much whisky,
You have been quite drunk and noisy
PAY ten dollars aud the cost, sir!
:" Pay this fine, ~ TO Jail SRI
''fhis-(Sou hear, sir!) IS m, Judgment.
Charles declared he had no money,
Had no cash in the exchequeri
So they put him in the locS up
Put him in the county prison,
Where ferocious dogs wont bite him,
-. Where bad whisky cannot reach him.
Next upon the Squires docket
Gus Nc cDonefd' stands Il sindicated,'
He, alas, upon blue Monday
WrestIed with perncious whisky
Flew around in dreadful fury,
Cussing, swearing. ripping, tearing,
Till the Marshal came aud nabbed him,
Took him up before the Squire,
Who, upon the testimony,
Found him guilty as indicated;
Fiued Mcdonald just two fifty,
And the cost of prosecution,
Which, Augustus very promptly
Paid and went his way rejoicing.
On that same eventful Monday
'Erriek Carlton (noisy Errick)
Worshiped at the shrine o. Bacchus,
Fell beneath his last potaton--
Al the camel feels mis- back bene
Snap beneath the extra feather
Fell he, with weight of spirits.
Then the city Marshal straighty
Marched him to the fame of justice,
Where the Squire heard his story
Grayely heard his doleiul story,
Fined hin then single dollar,
And the costs of prosecution
Which Errick' somehow paid and Yamoosed.
And yet again on that same Monday,
Came another sorry victim
Daniel--not whe braYed tIe lions
Daniel Bruff, who slew the whiskey
Daniel-who was SIeioed by whisky.
Also came the testimony,
Which. h 5 Honor, after hearing,
Charged five dollars up against him,
With the costs of prosecution.
But poor Daniel had No money.
SO poor he that e'en the lookup
Could not get the value from him.
For this and that consideration
Daniel was allowed to travel.
ON the 18th, which was Tuesday
.(Figured up by Scallawagger)
Henry Brann an William Murray--
ImbIbed unwholesome draughts of whisky
Whisky. ma le of--Lord knows what all
Found the emselves inne5riated,
Swore they didn't mean to do it;
Swnre they only meant to smell it;
Had bad colds and could ut smell it:
Thought taste would be sufficient,
One small taste would be sufficient,
<QHaRt. SHfeit,' as It's written
But, alas, their sense of tasting
Was 81 dull they couldn't taste it
Clearly, so tn " tasted often,
Tasted till the creature 6ourd 'en.
Thus their doleful Story ended,
Thus hath Scallawager told it.
So the Squire found them guilty:
FiuSd them five apiece--they paid il,
With the cost of prosecution,
William Murray, howsomever,
Took another sma' petation,
Slightly got innebrated,
Accidental accidental,
Rut, alas, that didn't save him.
Five again with all expenses
Satisfied the broken ordnance.
Thus the dancer pays the fdoler:
Thus bad whisky costs like thunder,
Thus the broken laws mended,
patchad up with bank note paper
Patched up with bits of silver
Thus tho people are delighted,
hus hat it