Thibodaux minerva. [volume] (Thibodaux, La.) 18??-1858, 1856-05-10


on the Birth Of a Child to Mr.. Diqqs ' oaaA
the So"crcigas Of -4merica. '''' V"soJ
Vixen Mrs. Diggs begins to feel that no J..
expected time has arrived she will wax. D;ar, ons
the sound sleep he will be enjoying, and Io o. from
asking, What is the matter?'A he will be ns -" s
by Mrs. Digs. As soon as Diggs can hss, ;I'led
on his partalooTls, boots, and coat, he sb,u' se'
the orders of Mrs. Digs, and 90 immedia,a," Il
the nurse, the Grand Mistress of Diess' honsa of
as soon as she steps her foot within his donn .'oo,
after escortng the Grand Mistress to the s,;a ana
he shall inform the family physician, who sha 1Gor
medacly repair to the Disgs Castle Diggs sl "',
also convey the information of what is trapsn s"
to all who hold rankin his household. Hismp,haSs
ill-law-sEe shall appear in whatever cIotha0 =.
can md handy, the state OF her nerves, on hara
Ing the facts, being in such condition as to "l'-
vent elaborate toilet On arriving At the ~ pre-
Castle, she shall exclaim "Ah. nv noor Dssss
Emily; and look at Disgs, as if she tbounl'. I AZ
the worst of criminals. Dggs, en- se.;,;n .,lF
look in silence, shall cause the head cool ~ a."
maid of the bedchambers to be called and =. Tue
i'll waiting in an ante-room for whatever OWL " &c
Grand Mistress OF the Household may send tha' 'e
Dggs is expected faithfully to execute all Nv.
orders i'll less than ten minutes, and when tbor
accomplished, Dlggs is at liberty to retire to h;S
private apartments, and there await further oraoS
from the Grand Mistress OF the Household In ~
meantime his nervous system NAV reuaire a E,l
weak toddy, and in the intervals of pron;,. l LIZ
nerves, Dggs shall frequently declare that h ha
wishes the thing was all over AZ
In the chamber of Mr.. Diggs there shah ,. thu
physician the Grand Mistress of the Houssha I,e
and the mother in-law. The latter distnpuishas,
parsonage, before many days, will make an effa,,
to out-rank the Grand Mistress Of the HousaboIa
and in the tlts which ensue CONSEQUENT unon ,h;,
effort, Diggs is expected to take both sides and
carry water on both shoulders The cook sb.n
retire to the kitchen, stir up the fire. and hold her
self in readiness for any service needed. The Maid
OF the Bedchambers shall assemble herself any
where within calling distance from the door Of NJ
Digggs apar tment, and when the Grand Mistress ~
the Household gives her orders and tells her not IN
be all day about it, she shall obey them.
At the moment when the last pains shall he fen
Diggs shall be informed that it is nearly all ova,
Diggs will put more questions than can be answered
and he will be told to wait little while ]onepr
that his dear Emily is bearing up wonderfully, and
frequently calls upon her dear Tommy. Thoma.
Digggs shall sigh, and again wish it was all over.
In the morning, when the room is put to rights,
Diggs shall be called to Mrs. Dggs' apartments
Grand Mistress of the Household, and Diges shall
examine it, first with profound establishment, and
then assuming more jovial air, shall touch bi
little cheek and call it the dear weeny, beepv,
little thing!" Diggs shall thenkiss his dear Emily
about one dozen times, and express much sympa.
thy for her sufferings Mrs. Diggs will then give
him distinctly to understand that that child the
last, and that men have no idea of the sufer!pgs
of poor woman. The child's name having been
long fixed, Diggs shall then proceed to the paror.
and taking down the family Bible, shall make a
minute (proces perbaD of the birth Of the child, in
accordance with the longestablished usages Of the
American sovereigns.
Soon after daylight, the aunts cousins, and all
the relations that recognized by the family in.
GLIDING all the relations of the mother-inaw, shall
call at the house, and be informed of all the par.
particulars by the mother-n-aw. The Cook and
Maid of the Bedchambers will convey the ineli.
gence over the back yard fence to the Cook and
Maid of the Bedchambers next door, and they will
convey it to the Cook and Maid of the Bedcham.
bers of the second yard, so that every family in
the block shall receive intelligence of the joyful
event by breakfast time.
Diggs will then take his breakfast without grum
bling about the cookery, and proceed to his place
of business. By his manner Diggs will indicate to
bis fellow-sovereigns whether the child is boy or
girl. lift is boy, Diggs will be unusually lively
he will walk with spring-his face will be
covered with smes-he will, in fact, make every
one he meets exclaim, there goes happy dog"
If it is girl, he will feel happy and look happy,
out his happiness will be subdued, quiet and calm.
When he arrives at his place of business, he will
here proclaim the great event. and is not expected
o notice any little jokes which may be perpetrated
it his expense. ...4t
Diggs will return home at least six times during
he first day. He will look at the child six times,
md tickling its cheek with his finger will six times
,xcaim, ooh, the dear, weeny, beeny little thing"
Disgs will take orders-to the Pharmacopolist, and
he Pharmacopolist is expected to be unusually
,lated with the news. The Pharmacopolist will
congratulate him in set terms, and will ask how
hey are doing. Digss will inform him that they
ire doing as well as could be expected under the
and will 60 little into particulars
With which the Pharmacopolist will be highly de-
lighted, and, if an opportunity is offered, is ex-
,ected to air his knowledge of the whole business.
In four weeks after the birth of the child, the
Grand Mistress of the Household will yacate the
premises. Diggs will then receive strict orders that
lie is not expected to go out after tea. The dear
veeny, beeny little thing will always be sick after
ca, and he must help his dear Emily to keep it
luiet, and get it sound asleep. He must also hold
himself in readiness to get up at least six times
very night. And during the time his only sleep
5 cat maps, he will be excessively in the catnp
rade, that article being found very necessary for
he health of the dear weeny, beeny, little thing.
In about six months after the event, Digggs will
AVE some experience in domestic life, and will lind
tut that it has its duties and cares as well IS its
Pleasures. Bulletin