Spirit of the age. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1849-1865, 1856-10-08
HUMOROUS TIT BITS.

IA Miss Tulips definition of old bache-
lors is certainly unique" They are frozen
out old gardeners in the fower-bed of love-
As they are useless as weeds, they should be |
served in the same manner-choked !"-
Now, what of the other side? Miss Tulip is |
an old maid, what should be done with her |
The Greek mythology, long time ago, settled
that point old maids condemned to lead
apes in hellw Don't believe in them old
stories nohow.-Nuf ced.
a@. A little boy. while writhing under the
ague, was told to rise up and take powder
which had been prepared for him. "Pow-
der powder l' said he, raising himself on
one elbow, and putting on a smile, mother,
| amt gun"
B9 Ajolly old darkey down South, bought
himself anew shiny hat and when it common
ced raining he put it under his coat When
asked why he did not keep his hat on his head,
he replied" De hats mine; bought him wild
my own money,-head longs to massa him
take care OBJ his own property"
B9- An Irish boy having been remarked
for his quickness of reply, gentleman, on
looking at him observed, g that when children
are so keen in their youth, they are general
ly stupid when they advance in years.
What very sensible boy you must have been
yourself, sir! said the youngster This be.
ing enough for one dose, the gentleman slid.
"Josh, say, was going down street the
; other day, and ] seed tree bark" "Golly,
Sam, seed it hoIlar." 81 seed the same
one leare." "Did it take its trunk with it?"
go, it left it for board"
FIT FOR LAwYER.-An old lady walked
into lawyers Office lately, when the follow
ing conversation took place
Lady" Squire, called to see if you'd
like to take this boy and make lawyer out
of him."
Lawyer" The boy appears rather young,
madam. How old is he."
Lady" Seven years, sir"
Lawyer" He is too young, decidedly too
young. Have you no older boys? ?'
Lady-"Oh, yes sir, we have several but
} we have concluded to make farmers of the
t others. | told my old man thought this lit
= tie fellow would make a frst-rate lawyer
and so l called to see if you would take him. ,
Lawyer-"No, madam; he's too young YET
:, to commence the study of the profession.
| !. But why do you think this boy so much NOR,
calculated for lawyer than your othel
e sons ?
e Lady-"Why, you see, sir, he is just sew
e en- years old to day when he was only fv,
! he'd lie like all natur when he got to be ST,
: he was sassy and impudent as any critic
could be. and now he'll steal everything h,
can lay his hands on.
= A MODEL LETTER.-Few will deny that tn
: schoolmaster has been too long "abroad," O
. that it is about time that he were come home
! and to stay at home, too.
Q My DEAR MARGERY Il commenced thi
Y letter Yesterday. If it don't come to hand
# you may conclude that I've gone to Mexico
O Tell Barney Stewart that his family is al
e dead intirely except the nuld cow. I'd writ
:. you more, but as there is no means of send
q ing this, will just let it go as it is.
o P. S.-If this letter don't reach you, yo,
l. must not wait for another, but write me i'm
d mediately and let me know how you are com
Y ing on.
= N. B.-Pye concluded not to send this let
q ter after ALL SO you can just answer it or not
, as it pleases you. Give my love to the chill
. dren. No more at present
q VERDICT OF NEGRO INoUEsT.-" We de uu
i derscribed darkies, being Kurners Juca
g OBJ disgust, to sit on de body OBJ de nigga
j Sambo, now dead and gone before us, ba
n been sitting ON de said nigger aforesaid, did
( on de night OBJ de fusteenth oh November
If come to his deaf by falin, from de said ribel
whar we find he was subsecomely drownded
IN anu dpleFWafUS was WdSueO OH O6 TlDef SlQ(
n whar We spose him frosed to deaf.
o. els FIT FOR TREAsoNs STRATAGEMs," &,
e. A Western editor, barbarian in music;
If taste of course, thus describes his impression
: of Casta Diva" in Norma, as executed b
r. Parodi =
Vi "a gradually modulating howl-a squeal
lg a squall, thrill. and a guttual google googl
a googie-a deafening bawl like the hoar;
in whistle of a locomotive engine, when und,
Id full headway-a squeeky wop, wop-a hal
e. angle stoop-a machiayellian smile-and
vamose %
!. What bright musical eritique "TI
., wretch without a note of music in his sol
al is only fit for treasons," &c. Who envi
ne him?
o. PETTICoAT LITERATURE.-It is an undeni
u BILE fact that the most acceptable writers
he the day are women. Mrs. Hentz, Fam
he Fern, Mrs. Stephens, Miss Cummings, Mi
,;s Warner have written books that have SO
ho beyond precedent in the annals of Americ
ature.