Squatter sovereign., 1856-10-14
SHORT PATENT SERMONS.
MARRIAGE A DUTY.

By DOW, ss

TExF.
| Don't tell me you haven't got time,'
That other things claim your attention
! There's not the least reason or rhyme
In the wisest excuse you can mention:
| DON'T tell me about 'other fish,
Your duty is done when you buy 'em;
And you never will relish the dish,
Unless you've a woman to fry 'ena.' 3
NY HEAREss-I have no doubt that.
after you have heard MY discourse. you
will ask In your minds whether your
preacher has taken unto himself wife,
aud is now luxuriating in the tail clover OF
connubial bliss, that he preachelh thus
Therefore answer before time, No; bu,
l have got measured for one, aud expect
TO conjuga,e as soon as my some what di-
verged rays of affection can be brought
little more TO a focus through the Burning
lens Of love. / deem it the duty OF all to
get msrried-once in their Lifetime, at
least. 1t is but yielding obedience to the
wise commasds of nature. Every gander
has his goose. and the birds all mate at
- PsORSi SN1SS4. w ilC CvSI ASotQ vi al
old g.nder going down to the grave COS
ling-less, unless be was prevented from
fulfilling his destination by the arbitrary
cusseass of artificial socieiya Itis God
who tells the brute creation to coha bit and
propagate, without the fuss and funmery
OF long and tedious csurtship: and they
implicitly obey. even TO q wood louse.-
The same God also tells you to marry,
and do the beet you can to be fruitful but
you G0a't always do it. You frame some
paitry excuse or oiher-such as Il Lave
other fish TO fry too busy to think of j,
noS,' 'circ.msta aces won't permit at pres
ent,' I'll think of it by and BY &C.; and
so you trndge on through the wide word
alone, from the meridian of manhood 10
the sunset of age. wi.hou! having effected
the object for which you were placed OH
earth, and of no more use than the 9Th
wheel to a coach, moon IN tue daytime,
lock withou, a key, or saddle and no
horse TO ride.
/ young mani # you have arrived at the
right point in life for it, let every other
consideration give way to that of getting
married. Don't think of doing anything
else. Keep poking about among the rub
bish of the world till you have stirred up
gem worth possessing, in the sbap of q
wife. Never think Of delaying the mat.
ter; for you know delays as we'll as wild
boars. are dangerous. A coed wife is the
most constant and faithful companion you
can possibly have by your side while per-
forming the journey of hfe-a dog isn't a
touch to her. She is of more. service, too
than you may at first imagine. She can
smooth your linen and your cares for you
, -mend your trowsers, and perchauce
yeur nanners-sweeteu your sour mo-
men,s as we'll as your tea and coffee foI
. yOu-ruifile, perhaps, your shirt bosom
but not your temper and, instead of SOW
ing :te seeds Of sorrow in your path, she
{. VIII Sew buttons on your shi;ts, and plant
D happiness instead of harrow teeth in your
bosom. Yes-and you are too con.ound.
edly lazy or two proud TO do such wsri
: yourself, she will carry swill to tie hogs
. chop wood. and dig potatoes for dinner
fer her love for her husband is such tha
she will do anything TO please hirn--ex
eept receive company in Ter eyery-da,
clothes. When . woman loves, she love.
= with a deubIe-disiilled deroteGnes.; an,
. when she hates, she hates on the high
Epressure principle. Her love is as deep q
!, the ocesn, as strong as kempen halter
and ss isnmstabie az the rock OF ages
She won't change it, except il Is in yer
!. strong fl of jealousy; and even then il lin
Il gers. a. if loh to part. like evening lxi
q light ii The wisdSws Of tie sea-. &c
!, married. by all means. ALL ahe sexease
y you can Ssh up against doing the aess
aren't worth spoonful OF Pigeea's mill
Mark this-if. blest with heal,h and e.z
pioynent, you are ncs able TO support
vile, depend upon it. you are nos e.pabl
OF supporting yousself. Therefore, S
, much more need of annexation; for in Ir
!. ion. as well as in an onion. there is strengsl
Get married, repeat. young nan! Col
centrate your affections upon one eSjec
S, and not distribute them eTuinb By cram
e., among host of Susans, Sarabs. Mary
1t Elias, Betsys, Peggys, and Deroshys-
lie allowing each scarcely enough ID. nlbb
at. Get married, and have somebody
O.
A cheer you up as you journey through III
bv 'ioSly yale of tears somebody to $50
:. uP your dull. melancholy moments. nj
- keep your whole lifess and whatever Ian.
d- you possess. IN some sort of Sunday-o,
te-snsetinG s<deT. s.asf .sasllsssss