The Ashland union. [volume] (Ashland, Ashland County, Ohio) 1854-1868, 1856-11-12


Whifaetree's molars which Bill thought
had 'speck' On it, he soon convinced
the victim that the said molar not only
was specked, but out of the dead plumb
of its nearest neighbor at least the s4th
part of an inch
90. shocking says the remorseless
ham { it is well saw it in time, Mr..
Whifletree. Why, in the course of a
few weeks, that tooth, sir, would have
exfoliatcd, calcareous supperation would
have ensued, the gum would have ossi-
fed, while the nerve of the tooth becom-
ing apostrophized, the roots would have
concatenated in their hiatuses, and the
jaw bone, no longer acting upon their
fossil exoduses, would necessarily have
led to the entire suspension of the ca
pillary organs of your stomach and brain,
and-deatA qcoaI2d supervene IN taco
hours u
Poor Bill I he scarcely knew what
fainting was, bat queer sensation set
tied in his "ossis lrontis," while his ossis
legso almost bent double under him, at
the awful prospect of things before him !;
He took long breath, however, and in
voice tremulous with emotion, inquir-
ed
Good Lord, Doctor what's to be
dono for fellow?'
Plug and file,' calmly said the Doc
tor.
Plug and file what? p
The second molar,' said the Doctor;
though the treacherous monster meant
Bill's wallet, of coursel
'What'll it cost, Doctor p says Bill.
"Done in my very best manner, upon
the new aud splendid system invented
by myself, sir, and practiced upon all
the crowned heads of Europe, London,
and Washington City, it will cost three
dollars "
"Does it hurt much, Doctor a'' was
Bills cautious inquiry.
"Very little, indeed; it's sometimes
rather agreeable, sir, than otherwise" !"
said the Doctor.
"Then go at it, Doctor! Here's the
dosh )" and forking over three dollars,
down sits William WhifHetree in high
backed chair, and the Doctors assistant
"a sturdy young misunderstanding
Bills head to the back of the chair, to
keep it steady, as the Doctor remarked,
the latter began to "bore and fle."
go alb ho-ho- hold on, hold ON !"
CRIES Bill, at the first gouge the Docter
gave the huge tooth.
90! be me soul be aizy, zur," says
the Irishman, " it's mesilf as understand
it'll hoacl4 on till yees.f"
Ooh h-h !" roars Bill, as the
Doctor proceeds.
Be quiet, sir; the pain won't signi-
fy !' says the Doctor.
'Go-goo-good Lord-d-dl Hobo -hol-
hold on
90, yeez needn't be afeared of that
I'm howldin' yeez tight as a divil =
cries Paddy, and sure enough he q0as
holding, for in vain Bill screwed and
twisted and squirmed around Pat held
him like cider-press.
Let me-me-O-O-Ol Ever
lasting creation let me go-o-o-stop,
hold on n m!' as the Doctor bored,
screwed, and plugged away at the tooth.
'All done, sir; let the patient up;
Michael, says the Doctor. with con-
fident twirl of his perfumed handker-
chief. There, sir-there was science,
art, elegance, and dispatchl Now, sir,
your tooth is safe-your life is safe
yow'rc sound mani
'Souud?' echoes poor Bill, Sound?
Why, you've broken my jaw into flinders;
you've set all my teeth on edge; and
I've no more feelin'-gall darn ye lin
my jaws, than if they were iron steel
traps! You've got the wuth of your
money out of my mouth, and I'm off
That night was one of anxiety and
misery to William Whifletree. The
disturbed nsolar growled and twitched
like mad; and, by daylight, poor Bills
cheek was swollen up equal to printers
buff ball, his mouth puckered, and his
right eye half bungcd up.'
WHY, William says Ethan Rake
straw, as Bill went into the store what
in grace ails thy face9 Thee looks like
an owl in an ivy bush -
Been plugged and fled says Bill,
looking cross as a meat-axe at his snick-
eriug Orthodox boss.
Plugged and tfned' Thee hahn t
been fighting, William?'
Fined? No, hain't been fined or
fighting, Mr. Rakestraw, but 1 bet do
fight that feller who gave me the tooth
ache l-Ol or moaned poor Bill, as he
clamped his swollen jaw with his hand,
and went around waving his head like a
plaster of. T aris mandarin.
.Ol thee's been to the dentist, eh ?
Got the tooth-ache? Go thee to my
wife; she'll cure thee in one minute,
William; little laudanum and cotton
will soon ease thy pain
Mrs. Rakestraw applied the laudannm
to Bills molar, but as it did no kind OF
good, old grandmother proposed poul-
81 nd AnHA nlr