The national era. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1847-1860, 1856-09-18

other when the whalebone passes by. Great
boys wax clandestinely jocose, and little boys
laugh outright
This has gone on long enough. 1t is high
time that men should be summoned. to the bar
OF outraged common sense, and forced to give
reason for the remarkably hard road they
have seen fit to travel. Come out from YOUR
dens, ye editors Come from the shelter of
your plural incognitos and show cause, if there
be any, why sentence of eternal qualifications
should not be pronounced upon you In the
depths of your guilty souls, you know that not
one In ten, not one in twenty, not one in a hun
dred, has any definite, well-grounded solid
principle on the subject; but it is the fashion
| to laugh-so, the wire being pulled, ten thousand
puppets at once fall titillating
Some aesthetic wiseacre, "taller by the
breadth of my nail than any of his contempt
rarles," fresh from the perusal of an Art Jour
nal, exclaims, with illconcealed exultation, cit
Is contrary to the rules of beauty. 1t gives an
unnatural outline to the figure. The true ideal
of hghtess and grace is small at the base, en-
larging upward" 1t may be very true that
this is the ideal of our nice young men with
the slight alteration of being, not only small az
the base, but small all the way rp, and infin,
itesimally small all the way through. read
lily admit that the general style, the tone of fe-
ance with classic taste. The stiff, straight
lines, the general bullSiness, the unnatural COM
preston and equally unnatural expansion, are
UNNECESSARILY inferior 10 the sweeping curves
and careless folds of the loose, airy falling,
floating drapery, that lent such an indescriba-
Bile charm to the severity of Grecian beauty
But all this is entirely impertinent and foreign.
If the question were, Shall our women array
themselves according to the Anglo American
ideas of the nineteenth century, or according
to the Grecian ones of the Greeks palmiest
days? the comparison would be entirely rele-
want. do not say that this question is not
worthy the serious attention of benevolent
minds, though, before actually advocating such
change, we should do well to remember
that very few of our fair countrywomen have
that roundness of form and fullness of outline
which so primitive an attire demands and
that what may have been artstcally perfect on
Helen of Troy, will be likely to lose some of its
beauty on the wiry form Of Sally Jones.
But this is entirely foreign to the matter in
hand. The point Immediately under consider
alton is, taking the present style Of dress as it
is, what is the particular bearing of hoops
thereupon. Now | unhestatingty affirm, with
out fear of contradiction, but rather in the
confident expectation of an enthusiastic sup
port from the initiated, that whalebone skirts
are benefit and blessing to womanhood
And you, q" most potent, grave, and reverend
selgniors you, who set yourselves up as UNI
pres In this matter-you, who never wore a
pettcoat IN your lives, or since you knew your
right hand from your left, do as little hesitate
to inform you, with all due respect, that you
don't IN the least know what you are talking
about. Put on eleven quilted petticoats, and
walk up Broadway; then dof them for the
hoop, and walk down again, and | dare predict
the effect will be as magical as that of burnt
pig on the Chinese functionaries. A sudden
light will break in upon your benighted mind.
You will gain more practical information than
decade of years would bring you. From
cool conservative, you will become furious
radical. A little while ago, when the requisite
outline was obtained by means CT these wsdded
and quilted anomalies, you were loud in your
denuncations: "They were ruinous to the
health" "hesvy with the germs of disease"
would infallibly blast the future hopes of
Young America" Well, women, as ever, bear
ing and forbearing, docie and humble, always
effdfH TO .eeeSntu eaod ADVICE and amend their
result was, the substitution of the light elastic
whalebone for the heavy cumbrous quilts.
Remedied was the very evil which you had
been so long deploring-the desired expansion
produced without injury to the health and
with the addition of such degree Of physical
comfort, such blissful sense of relief, that
women could scarcely credit the evidence OF
their senses. Now, what could you be expected
to do, but sit down in quiet, heartfelt thankful
ness, feeling that the world was safe for at
least one generation? On the contrary, what
haze you done, but raise a hue and cry as if
the Union were tumbling about our ears? You
madly strive, with all your puny strength, to
destroy the edifce whose corner stone your
own hands laid. You would ruthlessly raze to
the ground the fair fabric which feminine skill
has so patiently reared. For this there is no
law. No court of Justice takes cognizance of
such an offence. 1t is crime without a name.
But, remember, there is point where for
bearance ceases to be virtue. The day of
reckoning comes apace. Gutta percha is not
yet extinct.
There is yet another resource, viz: to leave
off hoops, quilts, and all kindred contrivances,
and wear only as much as comfort requires.
But would this be an Improvement, even in ap-
pearance? Do you really think your sister and
mother would look more elegant and statues9ue
TO promenade the streets with their skirts roll
ing and acalloping at every step, like drunken
sailor2 Moreover did it ever occur to your
mind, that it must be somewhat inconvenient
to be constantly impeded by half dozen yards
of cloth wound about the limbs? Do you not
see that women have at least twice the difficult
ty in walking that men have2 A man has
nothing to do but go ahead as fast as his feet
can carry him. A woman has first to send her
clothes forward, and then follow in their wake
as we'll as she may. Here the hoop interposes
Not only does it itself offer no obstruction to
onward motion, but it keeps all other garments
at proper distance, aud feminine limbs, free
in their impregnable prison-house, can run with
out WEAKNESS, and walk without fantness.
1t is very true that hoops are sometimes car
ried to q ridiculous excess, but this only con-
firms the suspicion which philosophers have
long entertained, that Hthe race Of fools has
not yet died out" If woman choose to make
a hogshead of herself, why should you object
You may, indeed, by forcibe means. prevent
the hogshead; but folly is Protean, and do not
for a moment fatter yourself that she will not
turn into a knitting needle. "There is nothing
more fulsome than a she fool" said gallant
and courtly nobleman, and it is but a Quixotic
crusade Il beg pardon of South Carolina) to
undertake battle against all the wind mills
which an ingenious 4" she-fool,'' who gives her
mind to it will erect The difficulty is to be
the hoops, but by killing off the weak women,
who render them contemplate. To such a
measure, most heartily subscribe.
In the mean time, tender-hearted men, dear
creatures, who bewail SO feelingly the sufferings
to which women are subjected, l implore you
to be consoled. Save your tears to weep for
your sins, though | must say, under the rose,
that all the while strongly suspect them to
be crocodile tears" Check also your repi-
nings, for | ASSURE you they are of no avail.
What if ladies' do monopolize the sidewalks
there is the broad carriage way; can't you walk
in that? What if you are forced to keep at