The Tiffin tribune. [volume] (Tiffin, Ohio) 1848-1859, 1856-11-21

Moruington a few days ago.
lDumiries &c, W. Reformer. octls.
Hire a Clerk
A tall, rough.shod, sharp, visaqod.
good-uatured looking individual arrived
in our city week ago, from the ''moun-
tains, and put up at what might be call
cd one Of our third-nte houses The
rules were like those at most other estab-
lishments Of the kind, boarders being ta-
ken by the day, week, OF meal. Jim Poll
ter we had taken the name from the reg
isler) had 'gone in by the week, with
the understanding with the landlord that
he was to be credited for what he called
"lost time" at the usual rate. There was
nothing very unusual 10 this arrangement
though II did not turn out altogether TO
the landlords satisfaction. At the end
Of the second day il occurred TO Jim that
he had not seen Sacramento for upwards
Of year, and, as thought with him
was almost a deed, he, without saying q
word to the landlord disappeared. He
spent the remainder Of the week at Sac.
ramento, and reached his boarding bovss
here just in time 70 find the proprietor
calculating that AR Jim Potter was In
debted for one weeks board. 1t took
Jim not long TO prove that he had bean
out of town for days, and the bill agaiuat
him was cut down accordingly.
"See here old feller," broke Jim, %
the bill was being altered. 'ef it's al
one to yeou III take squint at them ar
books"
There's your account, sir" said The
landlord. pretending not TO notice Jim's
last remark. 1.-TWO days board -Sa,-
69."
Jim took the bill, and eyed the pusSled
landlord as though he suspected some-
"shenenigan," he broke out
"Want u sec them ar boozsp"
The landlord told him he was asking
too muoh--that no outsider was permil-
ted TO examine his books.
Jim was now satisfied that all was not
exactly right, and resolved to see she end
Of it.
"Give me pen. ink and paper, " said
he Il want to show you how 70 keep
books"
He took the pen, and. after having ad-
ded up various small sums, made out and
handed to the amazed landlord IA fol-
lowing account:
Jim Potter TO Landlord--Deiter.
two dais bord e8,6s
Landlord to Jim Polter-Deiter,
dais lost time $500
"Thar she isP' said Jim as he passed the
slip. II Tuck board by the week you
know"
yes" muttered the half choled
landlord.
"Hnd the bargain was that you was to
credit me with lost time at the usual rate,
you knoW?"
"Y-e-s."
"well. boarded with you two days.
you know.
Yes"
II didn't board with you four days.
you know"
Yes"
"And you owe me for that
The landlord took long breath. brush
ed the perspiration from his face and cast
ing his eyes vacantly upon the ceiling.
slowly ejaoulated-- a
ooh yes"
"Now. 1 amt going to be hard on
you" said Jim; ''you feed well-and as
I'm goin' up country to morrow. wen
spend that little balance for champaign
tonight. But I'll tell you one thing.
landlord, he added, after a pause, 'you
would make money if you would hire
clerkr"-Aaysviis Cali Herald.
A HOOP CATAsTRoPHE.-Ss Ss3a. "Bob,
what makes you limp so?''
Bob; "Limp. guess you'd limp if
You had welked between two rows of bar
rel hoops as long as have. Why. the
outside Of my legs are asraw As pieos
Of beef; But have got an invention TO
cure that difficulty I'm going 10 take
them military trowsers Of mine. and run
piece Of bar steel right down through
the stripes, and then if any hooped fe-
male. or walking coopor's shop, invites
me out, I shan't have my leg saved oa."
EWsEyEar. - A crazy editor il one
Of our pc ideals, ventures the feslow-
ing genial wishes on those who 'fdso the
weed :" w
"Mayn lady press his bps,
HisWohercd love returning,
Who l-aAes furnace Of hia mouths
And keeps ils chimney buFnipsl
May each true woman alsun lis sight,
Fo7 fear his fumes piighi choke her,
And none but those Who suioke iheHRelyea
Have hssss for omokeT l'' q. ~.