Squatter sovereign., 1856-09-16
SHORT PATENT sERMcEs,
ON LovE-ITs MiSCHIEFS4AND
ITS EVANGESCENCE.s E.sa.4E's2

3.
Love is pretty,
Love is charming while it's new
But it soon grows old,
And wakes cold,
And fades away like the morning dew.
My HEARERs-There is no mistake
! abou: Loves being pretty. coaxing and
fascinating but, for all this, it IS a"tuily
dangerous stuff 10 rneddts with. No one
ought ever TO approach it, unless he is pro-
vided with a box OF matrimonial pills: for
il exhaies such delicious poison that
BODY isn'i aware OF danger till the disease
/ las rgacI.ed its climax; and then the on
! Ig. .yay. 70 eradicate it will be TO take a
itaf.Yl fJatll NJ the altar of Hyrnen. and for
/ ever after keep sjpring of The iced water
Of alatrini9y-or else take an injection of
4 pistol Eoadef d, once, and be certain of
cure. On! my heart sinks clear into my
ftrcstsers' pocket wheE think of all the
I ,nischief that Love has stirred up in this
amoracaious world. Go ask those shat
/ tered wrecks of humanity who are now
swarnling in our lunatic asylums what il
was that fred the city of,heir senses, drove
Reason from her throne, and spred anar-
chy over the vas, empire Of the nlind--and
they might answer truly: Love, the tyrant
Love Behold the miserable sot, suffer
| ing self-martyrdom, with the linpid fire
OF damnalion starting through his carbun-
Gle nose. Ask him why he, in the prime
OF life, Is about to throw himself upon the
funeral pyre Of his hopes, and appear fad-
died at the bar OF Judgments and he will
say it is all for Love! Go read upon the
stones Of yorder church-yard how many OF
Loves victims have been consigned to the
tdark chambers of death, and have taken
the worms of the clod as their bosom COM
panions! Behold. lovers are weeping up
on the very turf beneath which lovers are
shopping. grieve for the sleepers, and
o. my friends, tremble for the weepers !!
They are made of soft material-kisses.
tears, saw-dust and soft soap-and heav-
en- only knows how soon they. too, may
dissolve and amalgalna1e with their orig
NAL clay. @
NY friends. methinks can see, through
the spec.ac,es Of imagination, forlorn
specimen of decayed feminine wandering
over the ses-shore cliffs at midnight. She
cuts a pretty figure, don't think, with her
long hair streaming in the wind. ta,tered
roek. catowl eyes, and nothing but bare
foot on her feet. Now she sings a wild
dltty to the moon, and anon calls franticly
on one who Cannot hear-and | doubt
whether he would if he could. Poor thing.
Kate is erazed She let her tender pas
sion run away with her senses, shoes and
stockings, shimmy and all,-snd now see
what she is. Girls, do you hear that 2
Beware-bewarei But to return. Love,
like the boys candy, is too good to last
long. Soon after marriage it is apt to
grow cold, and fade away from the full
blown blossom of the heart, as fades the
morning dew from the damask corrola OF
the rose; but before the affections are
bound in the ruptial wreath. there is no
danger of Loves dying natual death.
On the contrary, be becomes more obst-
rate il his attacks, and will hang on like
an eel 10 q dad 'possum. advise you,
my young congregation. to beware OF pi-
ano:orte music and moonlight evenings. il
lyou have ;oucn Of the tender lurk-
ling about your vitals; for they are
sure TO call that little rascal Gu
| pid forth IN Guest Of prey; and when he
comes, your breasts are made pinc9shions
tot IN less than no time. He shoots his
arrows with unerring aim as he flies, and
lnocks at the agonies Of his wounded VIC
Tins. He is the misunderstanding child oil
Venus, that artful daughter of Joye, who
used to sport her golden chariot. drawn by
sparows, over the heecy clouds. of hsav.
en-whose railroad track down to Olym.
pus consisted of the rainbow. She wa:
the mother of all flirts, and created more
trouble In the courts of Love than evel
Lucifer kicked up in the temple Of right,
eousness.. But she is dead now. and hel
SOP Cupid leisneth in her stead.
My dear young friends-you must con
srise TO love moderately if you wish ,'
have it last long, and not grow cold witt
the wane of the honey-moon-just as Mr.,
Dow and did when she was pretty Mis-:
, Betsy Wheeler. We didn't squander al
our affections amid the foolish ex,ravagan
ces OF courtship. but let off little at time
and they consequently lasted the longer.-
Like cattle that masticate their fooi ,
second time, so We, till the day that dealt
brought in bill of divorce in her favor
could Sit beneath the bowers of connubia