Semi-weekly standard. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1853-18??, 1856-02-13
A NIGHT WITH THE KNOW NOTHINGS;
~ Or, Uncle lakes Experience.
By HIS NEPHEW.

young man, sent out, as larnt, from our place to
make No-Nuthins, but he didn't let us all no what
he cum for at fust. Howsomever, he linked in quite
q lot on 'em, principally Wings, and arnt that
on 'em intended tryin thar hands OH Uncle Jake.
Thinks l. old feers, you'll be barkin' up the rong
tree, sertn, but the fust thing noed they got hold
of the old man, treated him. told him that the DIM
micrats was all jnn' on 'em-that it warnt no Wing
trick nor nuthin' of that sort-that the Pope of
''roana" a cummin here to use up our Govern
ment, to make preests of the boys an nuns of all
the gals-that all the other denominations wud have
to cave in, wear crosses and kiss the Pope's big
toe-that the No-Nuthngs goin to stop all
these evil things-goin' to regenerate the land and
bring things back to the days of Gineral Jackson
that Gen. Jackson's folks war all fur 'cm, tooth
toe nail, and what with thing and another, the
fust thing Uncle Jake noed he regiar ring,ail-
ed No-Nuthin. They dun the ole mite, and
after it was all over he started home, he went
along his mind was full of misgivns, how could he
face the ole oman? What would Gineral jackson
say If he was alive? How could he meet his old
Dinicratc friends agin? and he suddenly recoIected
that The Union, Chc old Waterman on the tower of
our Perlitical Zion, as he used to call your paper)
was opposed to it. All these things begin to work
in Uncle Jakes mind TILL by the time he got home
he was in powerful swivet
lie found Aunt Nancy sitting up fur him, and
Unkle Jake he never was ashamed to meet her afore
"Well Jake SEES she, what ycarth has kept
you out so late to night" for Unke Jake was very
regular in his habits
"Why Nancy, been round-attendin a meetn
to-nite, SEES he, quite hesitatin like.
what kind meetin," scs she.
"Wy-a sort Nv parlitca meetin,' he shiv
erin all over. fur he powerful Uneasy by this time
swell" scs she, " if you've been tryin to he'd
these nonuthins amt got no more to say, fur you
could be in better business fur leyrn that
call themselves dimicrats, have jined em. l don't
like EN- no how, Jake, fur they don't cum out open
an above board, but pokn round at mite in alleys
and dark places; but l thank the Lord you amt
wun of 'em, fur 10 ] couldn't live with one or
EN- to save my life" But what makes you look so,
Jacob are you sick? Bless my life if you amt got
chill you, and your hands as cold as icc What's
the NATTER Jake!"
Muffin much" scs Unkle Jake, 81 cont feel
very we'll tonitc, ole oman I'll go to bee" say
in he slipt into bed, and the old oman after him..
Bimeby Cnkle Jake, arter tossin and rollin about,
gifts to sleep, and dremt that all his Dimcrat friends
he used to be with much wouldn't have nu,hin to
do with him, and that he couldn't no longer vote his
ticket for his old friends and his principles and he
groaned in spirit.
Aunt Nancy walked him up. skeered to deth, an
Unkle Jake had to out with the hole thing. Aunt
Nancy jumped out NV bed and declared she couldn't
stay thar, that nonuhun could't cum nigh her.
Cnke Jake last told her Of she would forgive him,
he 60 early in the mOrnin and git out of the thing,
but she told him no, she couldn't stand him till NOR
min, and directly Unkc joke haus his close, and
Went out and got the President and sum more
'en together swore he must git out aforc morn
in or kill sum body one. They let him out-and
when he got loose, he sung, he shouted, he danced
and capered like a boy-he run home and like to
squeezed Aunt Nancy to deth; she good old soul,
was mtiy riled about it an powerfully distressed,
but sealed his pardon with kiss Of forgiveness,
let by-gones be by-gones.
One man soon arler limited to Unkle Jake that he
heerd he was no-nuthin, when he pitched into the
Teller an like to waoped him to deth since that
time nobody has ever accused Unkle Jake of being
a nuthin. Ficksburg Sentinel
MASSACHUSETTS AND NoRru Ca RoL1NA.-The Rich
mond Enquirer says:
"We think every sensible man in Massachusetts,
after comparing the census of his own State with
that of North. Carolina, whether he be acuatcd BY
selfish policy enlarged philanthropy will arise
from the comparison, warm friend of the Union
it il. The statistics, which We shall cite might of
themselves induce the belief that the Bay State was
only productive Of criminals and paupcrs But it is
we'll known, that despite her anaticism, she is
wealthy, enlightened, Industrious and energetic
Her commerce and manufactures supply her with
the products of agriculture. Dsunion would Grip
pie those resources and probably cxpel her indus.
try, skill and capital to better markets and more
congcnal chimes. The population of Massachusetts,
| in 1850 was Tin round numbers) million, that of
North Carolina eight hundred and seventy thou
sand. Massachusetts, produced thirty one thousand
bushels Of wheat, two millions three hundred and
forty five thousand bushels of Indian corn and three
millions five hundred and eighty five thousand BUSH
els Of potaoes-cighty thousand hogs forty two
thousand horses and mules and two hundred and
sixty thousand cattle. The productions of North
Carolina, in proportion to population, about
ten times great. They produced two millions
hundred and thirty thousand bushels of wheat,
twentyseven millions bushels Indian corn five mil
| lions seven hundred thousand bushels potat es, one
million eight hundred thousand hogs, one hundred
| and seventy-four thousand horses and mules, and
| six hundred and nnety-three thousand CATTLE
| What a fied she exhibits for Massachusetts com.
| merce and manufactures! Yet she would fare bet.
| ter in case of disunion than Massachusetts,
| she produces all the necessares of life, and might
! produce its luxuries within herself
The statistics of crime and pauperism exhibit
quite as startling difference in favor of North Car
ona, and prove that she and does attend to the
| moral and physical condition of her people, and
needs no foreign prompting interference. Be-
fore quoting those statistics, would remark that
fuel, SO dear and much needed in Massachusetts,
| is at every mans door in h-CarOna, without
money, and without pric e-for there few towns
in that State. In Massachusetts,, in 1867 there were
IL, 700 paupers; in North Carolina 900 In Mas
sachusetts, criminals convicted in 1850. 7.O'O: in
North Carolina, 600 In prisons, in Massachusetts.
1000; in th-Carolina, A. In jails in Massacbu
setts 1900; in North Carolina 3d. In Peniten-
daries in Massachusetts, 43l in North. Carolina, H.
Odd Fellows charities, in Massachusetts, 1864 600:
| in North Carolina, $4,000
We think that these statistics deserve the serious
| in the Union"
SMALL FARMS We desire to impress on the com.
| mon -sense reasoning of every man, the ramount
Importance OF having more land in tult ire than
| can be well cultivated. BY no means att .mpt to
manage more than You can manage WELL Bea FAR