Cooper's Clarksburg register. [volume] (Clarksburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1851-1861, 1856-03-14
A LAUGHABLE PREDICAMEN5r.

~ oeSeuoeE1 10 we were travelling
through one Of the New England towns,
in an old fashioned stage coach. with a
friend. whose powers OF making fun from
the slightest cause were manifest from any
passing object that he chose to attack 1t
was midnight, and as he passed the viii
lage of R-G, he espied large mansion
house on the top of sugar~loaf hill
close by the road. When he arrived op-
pOsite. he asked the driver to stop few
minutes; the request was cheeifuIly COM
piled with, although we were most freez
ing but what trick he had in view, none
could guess.
The funny gentleman marched direct
ly up to the front door of the mansion and
Knocked with his cane loud enough to
awake all the Inhabitants. Immediately
a windOw-sash was raised, and out por ped
red night-cap containing the head of
the proprietor, who in alarm exclaimed
"What-what's the matter ?''
"PardOn me, sir, for this intrusion; but
l have a communication to make to YOU
personally, and as the stage is waiting
impatiently for me. please hurry to the
door for one moments interview
The old gentleman's red night cap
"'N'] - 'N' ~ - 'AAS'I" SN' H'e'iSA ~
lis fair proportions, were almost immedi,
funny stranger. VITO again apoloyized for
disturbing hi> slUmbcr and thus exposing
him to the chilly wind of a December
night.
MY dear SIR" interrupted Mr. Night
c"P. - don't mention it, but pardon me
for appearing before you in The plight in
which you see me-"
Never mind them. my dear SIR
Your finely 10 'atrd mansion has arrested
the attention of Us alI-it makes truly
beautiful appearance in the bright moon.
light. Speaking of the moon brings tc
my mind the question which has recently
agitated the scientific world and in
which you have und oubtedly been inter.
ested, viz: Is this luminary inhabited. OF
is it not inhabited? The telescopic"-
excuse my interruption, but allow me
to get cloak, for l am almost frozen
and''-
Ten thousand pardons, my dear
friend, but the stage is waiting tor me,
and must lose no time, for all things il
this world, time, that
"Allow me to remind you, sir, tha
you desired to make Il communication to
me, am now ready TO receive it."
All me How unmindful am in the
discharg" of duty incumbent upon me
and which has heen too long Protract ed
L most readily acknowledge"
"OSligc me, sir. by coming directly tc
the communication you desire to make. -
Again. beg you to forgive my ap-
parent tardiness in doing so. The fact
Aoorock cir u,I,S
l felt it my duty to divulge for your own
benefit, for | need not inform you thai
men endowed with scientific attaiuments
and'- ....
a. But, sir, demand without further
delay, what is the important fact you de,
sire to communicate -
1T is simply this Your house being
situated on the Apex of hill, with side,
sloping sufficiently to allow water to dow
thereErom, have stopped the coach. tli;
cold night, and aroused you from your
slumbers, to apprise you of the fact tha
you can, with the greatest ease. druin youl
cellar from fowr different dir ctions -
"YOu Internal scoundrel !" shrieked
the astoniShed and infuriated proprietor.
"Ftl teach you trick worth dozen O
this" as he seized the gentleman's cane
who had commenced n rapid retreat fol
the coach-the red night-cap and abbre
waited white garments after him as fas
AS two spindle shanks could carry him
buI the funny gent gained upon his pur
suer' jumped into the escoach which was at
once put in full speed up an adjoining hill
with the enraged country gentleman, in
curtaIed garment fluLtering in the breeze
IN cold pursuit, but whose hotSimpreca
tons against US all were enough 70 stifle
the mIrth OF live Yankee.
On arriving at the top OF the hill by
one OF those singular condolences, which
Someumes occur at crisis. to mar or
to helghten ones happiness, we suddsnl,
came in contact with two open carria.el
abreast. loaded to OVERLOOKING with ladie:
ana gentlemen returning from a country
ball. The attention of the whole Darty
was soon turned to our red-capped, white
garmen:ed pursuer, who, not Gking so ma
ny lady spectators, hurled his cane at us
N"nicn' however, glanced by aud strucl
ann among and aroused family OF pigs b,
the road side, and commenced a rapi;
retreat for home. followed by a do
Aen squeaHng pigs, barking. dogs, AM
n0cK OF squalIlug geese. The seen,
presented was the most ludicrons ;mag;
paoIe. and such a wild. outbu,st of uncon
trolable meriment is seldom heard :. in
Hogarth. '"e p0AO'' :
b,dg 6g He only is powe. full who govern