Nashville daily patriot. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1855-1857, 1856-04-11
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The deed is accomplished My wife has got
piano, "and now farewell the tranquil mind;
Farewell content, ami the evening papers, and
the big cigars, HAT make ambition virtue-Oh,
FAREWELL Aud ola, We mortal engines, whore
rude Threats the immortal Jove's dead clamors
counterfeit; but stop, | can't bid them fare
well, for one of them has just arrived 1t came
on a drsy. Six men carried it into the parlor
and it grunted awfully. 1t weighs a ton, shines
like mirror, and has carved Cupids climbing
mp it's limbs. And such lungs-whew! Ny
wife has commenced TO practice and the first
time she touched the machine, | thought we
were 10 the midst Of a thunder storm, and the
lightning lad struck the crockery chests The
Cat, with tail erect, took bee line for q par
ticusr friend on the back fence, demolishing
six shilling pane of glass. The baby awoke,
aud the little fellow tried his best 10 beat the
instrument, but he didn't do tit beat him.
teacher has been introduced into the
house. lie says lie is the last of Napoleon :
grand army. lie wears a huge moustache,
looks at me tiercely, smells Of garlic, and goes
10y the name OF Count Run away and never
cone-b back againby. He played an extract de
opera the other night. lie ran his fingers
through hs hair twice, then grinned, then he
cooked his eyes up at the ceiling, like monkey
hunting flies, then down came one of his I'm
gers, and heard delightful sound, similar TO
that produced by cOckrOach dancing upon
the tenor string of fiddle. Down came anOth-
er finger, and | was reminded of the wind
whistling through a knot hole in a hen coop
He touched his thumb and | thought was in
an orchard listening to the distant braying of
jackass. Now he ran his fingers along the
keys, and | thought of boy rafting stick
upon picket fence. All of a sudden he stop
ped, and thought something had happened
Then down came both fists, and Oh, Lord
such noise was never heard before.
thought hurricane mad struck the house,
and the wall were caving in. | imagined l
was in the cellar, and ton of coal was falling
on my head. thought the machine had burst,
when the Internal noise stopped, and | heard
my wife calculate
''Exquisitel"
"What the deuce is the matter Z"
The answer was
why, dear, that's La SOmnsmbula!"
Abb Somuambulal" thought |; and the
Count rolled up his sheet of paper. He calls
it music; but for the life of me, | can't make
it look like anything else than rail fence
with lot Of juvenile niggers climbing over 1t.
Before that instrument of torture came into
the house, could enjoy myself, but now every
learned woman in the neighborhOOd must be
invited to hear the new piano, and every time
the blasted thing shrek out, like a locomotive
with the branchItis, | have to praise its tone,
and when the invited guests are playing |
have to say, "Exquisite!" delightful" "hesV-
enlyl" and al! such trash, while, at the same
time, know just As much about music As a
bT d cod fish. There are more tuning ham
mers than comforts in our house, and-and
| wish the inventor of the piano was troubled
with q perpetual nightmare, and obliged TO
sleep in one of his instruments all his life.
As for myself, | bad rather put my head
under tin pan and be drummed TO sleep with
pair of shooting irons, than hear ala Som
nsmbula," any other La, thumpped out OF
piano. Scatter pennies in front of my house,
and draw together all the wandering Ministries
in the city-hand organs, banjos, iiddles tam
borInes, rafting bones, aud fish horns. Let
juvenile monkeys crawl in at my windows IN
search Of three cent pieces-let me be awaken
eG at midnight by the cry of murder !'-ring
the fire bells and have devil of a time gen.
erally-do all this, aud / will not complain;
but Danish the pianos! Mine has got to go.
/ AIN going to launch the internal machine out
of the window the first dark night, and, my
friends, | advise you to sleep with cotton III
your ears, or when she gives her dying grunt,
you'll think you've fallen out OF bed or fallen
star has gone 10 rOost upon your house top
For the information of Young America"
will state that all the pieces of brass wire aud
ivory keys they are welcome 10, but the skele
ton l want Tor a refrigerator.