The Evansville daily journal. [volume] (Evansville, Ia. [i.e. Ind.]) 1848-1862, 1856-01-17
CIT 9ailg yournal,
MY CRUELTY TO MY RELATIVES.
By ALE. a. SIGMA.

had an anut coming to visit me for tn,
first time since my marriage, and don't know
what evil genius prompted the wickedness
acknowledge with tears in my eyes that it wa'
such) which l perpetrated towards my wife
and my ancient relative -lo
| "My dear,'' said | to my wife, on the day
before my aunt's arrival, 'you know Ann
Mary is coming tomorrow; well, | forget tG
mention rather annoying circumstance with
regard to her. She's very deaf; and although
she can hear my voice, to which she is accus-
toned, in its ordinary tones, yet you will bt
obliged to speak extremely loud in order to be
heard. 1t will be rather inconvenent, but
know you will do every thing in your power to
make her stay agreeable"
Mrs. S. announced her determination to
make herselfheard, if possible.
l then went to John =, who loves a
joke about as well as any person know Of
told him to be at my house at P. M. on the
following evening and felt comparatively happy.
| went to the railroad depot with carriage
next night, and when | was on my way home
with my aunt, said
"My dear aunt, there is one rather annoying
infirmity that Anna has, which l forgot to
mention before. She's very deaf; and although
she can hear my vice, to which she is accus-
toned, in its ordinary tones; yet you will be
Obliged to speak extremely loud in order to
be heard. Pm sorry for it.' IL
Aunt Mary, in the goodness of her heart,
protested that she rather liked speaking loud;
and to do SO would afford her great pleasure.
The carriage drove UPON the steps was
wife-in the window was John t., with
a face as utterly solmn, as fhehad buried all his
relatives that afternoon.
/ handed out my aunt-she assembled the
steps.
II am heightened to see you," shrieked my
wife, and the policeman on the opposite side
walk started, and my amt nearly fell down
the stoop.
Kiss me, my dear" howled my aunt; and
the hall lamp clattered, and the windows shook
as with the fever and ague. l looked at the
window--John had disappeared. Human ma
ture could stand it no longer. l poked my
head into the carriage, and went into strong
When l entered the parlor, my wife was
helping Aunt Mary to take off her hat and
cape; and there sat John with face of woe.
Suddenly, "Did you have pleasant jour
ney?" went off my wife like pistol, and John
T--rather jumped to his feet.
Rather dusty" was the responce, in war
whoop, and so the conversation continued. \
The neighbors for blocks around must have
heard it, when | was in the third story of the
building heard every word plainly.
In the course of the evening, my aunt took
occasion to say to me
"How loud your wife speaks-don't it hurt
her?' a 8tise e..9 .asata
1 told her all deaf persons talked loudly,
and that my wife being used to it, was not af-
fected by the exertion, and that Aunt Mary
was getting along very nicely with her.
Presently my wife said, softly goliA
calf, how very loud your aunt talks
"Yes," said /, "all deaf persons do. YOU'RE
getting along with her finely; she hears every
word you say" And rather think she did.
Elated by their success at being understood
they went at it hammer and tongs, till every
hing on the mantelpiece clattered again, and
ront Of the house.
But the end was near, My aunt, becoming
If an investigating turn of mind, was desirous
Of finding out whether the exertion of talking
so loud was not injurious to my wife. So.
Doesn't talking SO loud strain your lungs p
said she, in an unearthly hoot, for her voice
was not as musical as it was when she was
young. d .5 en..9 sla i
at is an exertion," shriexed my wife.
"Then why DO you do it? was the answer
ing scream. ''e 1-A'
sBecause- can't hear if 1
don't,n squealed my wife. .s a. /
"What" said my aunt, fairly rivalling q
railroad wistle this time.
Ibegan to think it time to- evacuate the
premises; and looking round and seeing John
gone, stepped into the back parlor, and there
he lay, fiat on his back, with his feet at right
angle to his body, rolling from side to side,
with his fists poked into his ribs, and most
agonized expression of countenance, but not
uttering sound. Immediately and inyol-
assumed similar attitude, and 4
think that from the relative position of our
boots and head, and our attempts to restrain
our laughter, apoplexy must have inevitably
ensued, if horrible groan which John gave
vent toin his endeayor to repress his risibility,
had not betrayed our hiding place.
In rushed my wife and my aunt, who by this
time, comprehended the joke, and such ascold-
ing as then got never got before, and hope
never to get again. r.. ssli r,ifseli a. ~
1 knew not what the end would have been,
if ohm, in his endeavors to appear respectfully
and sympathetic, had not given vent to such a
Idiabolical noise, something between a groan
and horse-laugh, that all gravity was upset,
and we screamed in concert. 7 ts, -
III le eee s.atzll-.-l --.L.a L--Lurrk "a
UNFoRTUNATE Acc1BENT the Hon.
Richard H. Stanton, senior editor of the Ex-
y,raSc yvas dasceDdiney the aIley adjoining his