The south-western. [volume] (Shreveport, La.) 1852-1870, 1856-01-16


one knows that a surprise party is where
company of gentlemen and ladies agree TO Wis
carrying their own provisions. some one
their acquaintance, without any sign ol /,
tice OF their coming being given A few ngh
since, in New Bedford, party was formed {
the purpose Of giving surprise to MARI
couple, but upon proceeding to the house,
was found that another visitor had aaticipat.
them only a few hours. II was girl, It'll
darling, and Cooked just like its mother, bic
its heart" All parties were Of course siigh
ly surprised. The surprise weighed six an
three-quarter pounds.
The moroyian manner Of administering ii
sacrament is somewhat peculiar. The servie
is opened by singing verses of different metre
then prayer. After this, the congregation ri,
ing, verse is sung, during which time a
the individual members present impart to thos
next to them the kiss Of absolution, in token I
mutual forgiveness and reconciliation, in ac
cordance with the apostolic injunction, .ssa
lutte one another with an holy kiss The
the bread is consecrated by the presiding min
Ister, who is dressed in white surpHce, ant
the distribution follows
A humorous young man was driving hers,
which was in the habit Of stopping at ever,
house on the roadside. Passing countr,
tavern, where were collected together some
dozen countrymen, the beast, as usual, ran op
posite the door, and then stopped in spit, d
the young man, who applied the whip with all
his might to drive the horse on. The men on
the porch commenced very hearty laugh, and
some inquired if he would sell the horse.
YES replied the young man, "but can
not recommend him, as he once belonged TO a
butcher, and stops whenever he hears she
calves bleat" The crowd retired to the bar
in silence.
Nothing is more unphilosophical than the
exhibition of ill-humor in circumstances that
you can possibly preventit. Seneca S remedy
in unavoidable misfortune was to "sme and
sustain it, We think resignation is a national
virtue Of our countrymen. just before an cleo /
ton you would think them capable of cutting /
each others throats-the day after the de-
feated party wears good-natured smile, and
there is not bit Of bullying on the part of the
rictors
God made both tears and laughter, and both
for kind purposes; for as laughter enables the
mirth and surprise to breathe freely, SO tears
enable sorrow to vent itself patiently Tears
hinder sorrow from becoming despair and mad
ness; and laughter is one of the very priyi-
leges Of reason, being confined to the human !
species.
a lady was recently teaching boy to spell. /
The boy spelled cold, but could not pro-
nounce it. In vain his teacher asked him to /
think, and try. AT last she asked him,
"What do you do when you 90 outupon the .
wet sidewalk on rainy day, and wet your t
feet?"
Il gets a licking" il
The Lancet, or some other equally edfying !
paper, on the subject Of human food SAYS that =
large quantities of sausages are made of horse
flesh. A friend of ours says he believes, it, t;
as he invariably has the nightmare when he t
has eaten them for supper
Seedy sentimental gent, sinpine-"Were :
my bosom as false as thou deemest it to be- II
Watchman-Come, none O. that 'ere:-vou Ia
know You haint got no bosom on, nor shirt :,
neither; So stop your bowling, or away you o. ..
&C. The nelghbors says its wuss than cats. &
Sydney Smith says, lit seems necessary that II
great people should die with some sonorous K
and quotabe saying Mr.. Pitt said some f't
hing not Ineligible in bis last moments. G. an q,
Rose madeit out to be save my country, hea- BE
fenP The nurse on being interrogated, said CT
hat che asked for barely water Sc
genius is getting up railroad car out Of 2 I,
iron and gutta purcha. Such ear can a.
'e damned, but not broken. 1t may "mash Of
'ou up, but It can make no splinters to tear
our trousers and lacerate your limbs. The ge
aea is good one, and, we hope, will realise s an
lis expectations. lse
An lrishman in Chicago has just discovered sit
substitute for potatoes It consists of pork Gu,
nd cabbage. He says he has tried various fy.
Their things but this is the only substitute, VII vi,
lat he'd like 70 warrant. 90 '7
Inc dutchman who refused to take one eto
ollar bill because it might be altered from sh
~ prefers stage travelling to railroads. The j
'rmer, ne says, rides him eight hours for a
oilar, while the latter only rides him one.
a celebrated poet at one time advertised that /
would supply fines for any occasion. "A - -
sherman sought him shortly after, and he a ant
wanted line strong enough to catch por- STA
oise'' era
Shakespeare defines man as having seven g
res, whereas, we accord him only two. the e.
st IS childhood, when he ..cuts his teeth ,, ior
I'd the last Is old age, when his teeth cut For
M mn
''Now, Charley, my boy, there's bottle oft :
ne that's forty years old" !.
4 yS1tS' - oohCJ III hSlOnlSneQ.sE I4%.#
'sWhat, because it is 50 old?'' /"
mo. Jack, but tefnd it so small of its age.n
Horace Mann said that a dying miser would
neh dime until the eagle on it screamed, s
It the Post informed him that there was no 81
gle on dime X !,
Some one having layisbly Landed Longfel- ID
vs. aphorism, suffer, and Be strong. ! nat
--of-fact man observed that it was merely
ration of the old English adage, grin and
ar it,
One Of our exchanges says that swarm |,
eaP' in New Mexico consists of two crackers ---
ped in pepper sauce. Simple, but not very II,
ely 70 become popular. ID
If apersoa begins to CRATE anutmeg at Tie and
TX end It win prove hollow throughout Pen
'ereas the same nutmeg grated at the other nta
would have proved sound and entire. b.
A paper has Just been started III Richmond. 4,
llama, called 1.-The Broad axe of Freedom H
/ Grabbing Hoe of Truth and
"A dreadful little for shilling. said 4 ne 8
rious fellow to a physician who dealt him Il
an emetie, ttean't you give nore9'' ~
Why VAS Herod's daughter hard to beat ma,