The national era. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1847-1860, 1856-04-03

He told them he had already repented. If
that were the word to express the horrible re.
morse of blood-guiltiness that had long proved
upon his heart, and consumed his flesh and
blood, and left him what they saw him. But
did they, he asked them, suppose that he had
repented only since that fatal deed No, mol
but tor years and years before that catastrophe
ne had suffered with that uncommitted crime.
Did they think that the act was premeditated,
then les, In one sense, it was premeditated.
although entirely unintentional, and SO abhor.
rert that he would have gladly died to escane
mmitting it. The deed was premeditated.
inssu,uch as it had long doomed up before him,
black mountains in his forward path of life.
from which 1t was impossible to turn aside; to
which every breath and every step drew him
nearer and nearer That the first time he
caught glimpse of this awful phantom of his
future was while he and Oswald were still bows.
He had been provoked and exasperated to
phreEsy by his playmate-master, and. in his ut
ter madness, had struck and tried to kill him.
Vhe sssction from that fit of passion had been
tsrrleae The next occasion upon which arose
darkly before him this inevitable doom, was
chen his master and himself were youths.
One night he was driving Oswald home both
were intoxicated; they quarrelled: his master
threatened him with the lash he lost his rea-
sNn, and his very eyesght, and all his senses, in
Clark tempest and whirlwind of mad and blind
fairy, and struck with all his strength to DESTROY.
BY Heavens mercy that blow was not fatal.
But the recovery of his own senses from that
phrensy OF anger was more horrible than any,
thing he had ever before experienced From
that time he had never been able to exercise
the haunting presence of that black phantom,
standing waiting for him at the terminus of
his earthly path, "from which he could not es-
cape; to which every breath and every step
drew him nearer and nearerl" From that
time he had felt that in some baleful moment
OF extreme evaporation, some irresponsible
moment of mad and blind passion, he should
strike fatal blow. Yet he said he agonized
in soul to escape that black crime; he strug-
glsd to conquer his angry passions he sought
the grace of God, and hoped that he had pos
sessed it; he swore off from alcohol, that slim
ulus might not be added to his other excite
ments to anger-to the inevitable provocations
arising from his temperament, position, and
circumstances -provocations that were con-
stantly exasperating his soul to madness For
years, ne said, no eye but the Lords had seen
the desperate war his spirit had waged with
the powers of evil within and around him, and
waged successfully, until one trying season.
when, in the utter prostration of sorrow and
dependency, he had been tempted to place
again the maddening glass to his lips-tempted
by the sophistry that prescribed the moral
poison as medicines then be lost the habit
and at last the power of selfcontro, and one
fatal day, when amazed and bewidered with
exceeding sorrow, and stung to phrensy with
the sense of wrong suffering and cruelty, be
had struck the blow that laid his oppressor
dead before him.
Heaven knows was not thinking of doing
| -
the phantom Of my predestined crime was ex-
orcised. / had not even that to warn me the
hosr was entirely unguarded. / struck in self
defence. He had intercepted and knocked me
down, to prevent me from going to see my sick
wife. Blind and giddy, and furious, struggled
to my feet, and seized the first weapon that
offered-a three-legged ol-and struck with
all my strength but when / sew the leg crush
through hiseye and brain, one lightning thought
td me that he was killed, and thenceforth all the
world was against me- and |, as it were, against
the world; and then waves of blood and clouds
of fire seemed to roll up around me, aud rage in
a horrible tempest; reason fed utterly and
knew nothing more until near midnight, when
l came to myself upon the floor of Fannie's
room; and even then, in my vague remorge
and horror of halfconscious blood-gultiness, 1
seemed to be some other thing than myself
perhaps some lost soul in perdition Brother
Elisha, Heaven bless him, was bending over me-
1t was to him / owed the preservation of my
life. 1t was by his counsel and assistance that
l disguised myself in poor Fannies clothing,
which fitted me well enough for the purpose
He even crumped and braided my hair, and tied
upmy head in a woman 8 turban. And he found
end thrust Eannie's free papers In my bosom,
snd then led me off to his own home. Well,
in this disguise, and by keeping very close, 1
contrived to elude the vigilance of the police,
until surer place of safety was provided for
me near this cabin. For eighteen months,
have eluded the police but think you, my
brothers and sisters that, for one moment, have
escaped the ayenger of bloodf Mol no! After
the crime, he found me even in the first mo-
ments of my waking consciousness; his clutch
hal never been relaxed from my heart it com.
presses now, even to suffocation the death that
You would save me from, die every hour OF
my life; 1 can bear it no longer; / must die
once for all, and have done with it; I should
bave resigned myself into the hands of the law
shd, in the final expiation, long since found rest
but for Fannie's grief and terror. But now,
even Der tears and prayers must not hinder me !;
evdn for her peace, it is better / should give
myself up to die, and have it over, for now she
lives in the midst o. alarms; hereafter when
all is over she will at least have quiet
Quiet! yes the quiet of death, for | never
can outliye you Valley said Fannie in low
tore of despair. He laid his hand fondly on
hef bowed head, but, without comment, resumed
his discourse.
I" was about to surrender to the public au-
liberties, when | reflected that, by giving my
SELF up to my brothers in the church, ] might
confer the blessing OF freedom upon some one
among you, since that was ono of the rewards
cft L
you will make himself free man tonight 2"
He paused moment, looking around upon
the little assembly; and then fixing his eyes
upon handsome, intelligentlooking, young
man, to whom the gift of freedom might well
seem the most desirable of goods, he said
brother Joseph, will you take me into GUS
tody?" ="
MAY the enemy of souls take me in custody,
aad never let me go, when do E" promptly re-
pied young Joe.
That's you, my boy And may the same
ftte befali any one else who would do the like"
exclaimed old Elisha, emphaticaly.
a murmur of appreciation ran around the
littse assembly, and revealed the fact that the
feelings of the majority were with the speakers.
q Brother Valley You think yourself very
guilty man, though we don't think so, all things
9ideredl BIT, 70 one ever crsyed freedom
raore tHan you did, and yet you know you
would never o. bought your freedom at the
pfiee o any mans life, no matter how fur for
felt his life might be An row, Brudder Wal
Icy, please don't think US so much wus than
Yourself"
When the little assembly heard this, with one
voice land one exceptionj they declared that
they would die before they would betray Valen-
tina And Elisha, to confirm their faith, went
around with the Bible in his hand, and admin
istfred te each "a oath Of fidelity and silence
upsn the subject of Valentine and the transac.