The Perrysburg journal. [volume] (Perrysburg, Ohio) 1853-1861, 1856-11-20
SMELLING BRANDY.
A Humorous incident under the ss Maine La w.

of August, lS52--the second year of the ekis
tence OF that temperance statute which has be-
come famous throughout the civilized world as
the Maine Law"
Now, Dave--as his cronie4 called him-was
fond Of drop occasionally, to tnke away the
bad feeling in his head, or his shoulder or his
side, or his 8 omach, or his lilnbs, or in some
other part of his much.abused system. {" Who
ever knew topper that didn't q" feel bad as
regularly as his hour for imbibing approa ched y
| Dave was also strenuous advocate of the 4" lib.
erty" OF making sot, pauper and criminal
of himself; hence he regarded the Maine Law as
an ourageou, piece Of tyranny, and Neal Dow
he abhorred, as much as our revolutionary faith
ers did Lord North.
Dave took a couple of bottles of prime Otard
brandy in his trunk, when he started on his rus.
tcating expedition aforesaid for he very much
feared that the rigors Of the new statute in Maine
would cause "many slip between the cud
and his lip" He was bent on having a sup.
ply of anti-fogmatic medicine with him, as he
knew the climate Of the Pine Tree State to
be damp and bleak, just fitted to excite some
oil the innumerable pains from which he suffar-
ed.
No incident worth relating occurred on Dawes
journey Down East which was by steam
boat TO the city of B, where he was com
pelled TO wait day for the stage which would
convey him TO the inland town where his rela.
tives resided. He concluded 10 stop a. hotel
for Dave liked to travel in good sha pe-and ac-
cordingly he got himself and trunk conveyed BY
rough looking Jehu, from the steamboat land.
ing TO one of the principal public houses.
Having seen his baggage deposited in the en-.
try, Dave paid the hack-driver and turned TO
the landlord TO engage accommodations for the
time he was compelled TO stay in B. At
this moment, his oliacturies were greeted with
the familiar smell of prime brandy and Dave
instantly credited the stories he had heard of
the Maine Laws stimulating intrmperance in
stead OF suppressingit. He was convinced that
the tavern in which he was about to tarry har-
tored the striped pig" though there were no
visible signs OF the animal. With the view,
therefore, of economizing his private stock, he
tipped knowing wink TO Boniface, and
said,
Pilgrims Progress"
What?" responded the landlord, who look
edas much bewildrred as if his guest had been
talking Choctaw to him.
Give tired traveller something with which
to refresh his spirits said Dave, with an en-
phasls on the last word, and low smack o his
lips.
sentences" observed the landlord. "Speak out
in p lain Language, il you want any attentions in
my house"
uhu ouEui, " huh' uWhy ftilllo III
stomach, caused by the rocking l got on The
boat last night"
Dave slapped his pocket as he delivered this
order, as if 10 assure his host that he would
promptly plank the rhino when the desired bev-
eruge was sfnrnished; and put finger across his
lips, TO signify that he would keep " mum
about it,
But the landlord only drew himself up to
dignified height. put on a stern look, and declar-
hat No int, IL, lnpt
his pre- ises. 81 am a~-a5iding man." said
lie.
"If don't smell prime old brandy on your
premises, law-abiding as you are, then my
nose is a tremendous deceiver!" cried Dave.
And he appealed to three or four persons who
had come in since the conversation begun, TO
know il the strong scent Of that liquor was not
perceptible. They all agreed with him, but at
the same time defended the landlords charac-
ter for honesty and straightforward dealing
One OF them stated that the hotel had beenkept
on the temperance plan for three years previous
TO the passage Of the seizure act.
Dave vchemently stuck to it, that his sense
of smelling told him there was brandy at hand,
and his hankering stomach called for a swig OF
the same.
Perhaps the gentleman has the article about
him." suggested the landlord, mschievousIy
81 often have guests whom have reason to be
lieve, carry the 'critcr' with them, to be re-
sorted TO when they cannot coax or bTlbe their
entertainers to unloose the monster which has
made such havoc in the world"
The landlord spoke warmly, for two of his
sons filled druuka rds gravcs-having started in
the road to ruin from their fathers bar, many
years before he left the toddy stick tribe.
Dave cuored at the landlords insnuaIion, fol
he ecollected the bottles of brandy in his trunk.
But he made no answer and with the chopialler
air which always marks buflisd tippler, he re-
quested to be shown to his room, and have his
| baggage conveyed thitheT.
| AS the hotel porter preceded Dave up stairs
with his trunk on his shoulder, and various otli
er " traps in his hand, our anxious inquire
for brandy smet the article again, more strong
ly than ever. He now felt certain that the tav
eTn had good many sly liquor closets, or tha
the porter was a regular " soaher which his
looks did not at all indicate
As the man sat down Dawes baggage at tn
door OF the room he was 10 occupy, and handed
him the key, our disbelieveG in the efficacy o
the Maine law could not help saying:
So this is a temperance hotel, is it?'
"Yes, sir, strictly So The landlord has KEEP
it on that system for about four years, and il
one Of the staunchest supporters OF the new Law
that can be found. He is an excellent man AM
popular host, is Mr. R-"
Perhaps he is" retoried Dave; "but an
somewhat of judge of liquc T. for young man
-(he ought to have been ashamed of himself
but, like many another silly fellow, he regarded
his beastly habit in the fight of a manly vir
tue, y" and almost every moment since | en-
tered this house, have smelt prime old brand
as plainly as ever did with tumbler,full a
t my mouth. Queer perfume you use in thi
t strict temperance hOtel!'"
\ The porter was too civil to make any repl!
and left DaAe TO his cogitations. BY this tim
u the latter had become extremely impatient fc
IS his habitual stimulant; the scent of brand.
and the conversation about it, had aroused h
perverted appetite to the highest pitch Of inter
1t sity. He therefore proceeded to unlock h
1t tlnnk, and seek treacherous comfort in one ofh
e bottles OF brandy.
n No sooner was the lid raised, than the seer
of the queer perfume" he had joked the po
ter about, was revealed and no joke was il