Eaton Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1843-1856, 1856-06-12
A Wife in Ecstacy and a u,taud IN rjap,t,

Inc deeo Is accomplished My wife hos 60
| piano, and now farewell the ttsnuuil mind
-is!ewell content ond The evening pnners.
and The bug cigars that make ambition yirtue
oh, farewell! And oh We mortal engines
whose rude ihroals The immortal Jovt's dread
tclamors counierfeii; but stop, can't bid
Them farewell, for one Of them has jus, aErsed.
came on dTay. Six men carried il intn
| The paflor, and il gIunled awGully. II WEIGHS
a ton, shines like mirror, and has carve,
Cupids climbing up lis limbs. And sucb
| lungs-whew My wife has Commenced 10
practic. and the first time she touched The ma.
chine, thought we were in The midst OF n
thunder storm, and the lightning had struck
the crockey chest. The cat, with TAIL erect,
look bee.line for particular friend upon
the back fence, demoliShing a six shilling
pane OF glass. The baby pwoke, the little
fellow Tried his lest 10 beat the instrument.
but he didn't do it. Il beat him. A teacter
has been introduced into the house. lte sayx
ne is The last OF Nnpoleon's grand army. He
wears huge fnoustsclle, looks OF me fercelyx
smells OF garlic, and goes by the name of Nj,
Counl Kun away aud-nevef- come. back -aeains
by. de played an extra de opera The other
night. He Isn his fingers through his lair
twice, then Rffnned, then he cooked his eyes
up al The ceiling, like a monkey bunting Aies,
ther came down one Of his fingers, and heard
a delightful sound, similar 10 thai produced by
cockroach cancng upon The tenor string of
q fiddle. Down came another finger and was
reminded OF the wind whisiling through a
knot hole in hen coop. He touched bis
thumb and though: was in an orcbord Ils.
'enlng TO The distant brayng OF iaekass.
Now he ran his 6ngeis along the KEYS, and
| though ofa boy raitlisg stick upon pick
q Of a.. 4
thought something had happened Thendo
came both fists, and oh such noise was
never heard before. thought hurricane
had struck the house and The walls were ca.
wing in. imagined was IN The cellar. and
a ton OF coal was falling uptn my head
+! thought The machine had burst, when tho
internal noise stopped, and heard nv wife
elaculate, Exquisite !' ''What the deuce
IS the matierP The answer was, "WLy.
dear, that's La SomDambula p "n-n La
SomnambusP' thought J.; and the Count rolg-
co up his sheet Of paper. He calls il music.
before that instrument OF tortue came into nv
mouse, icould enjoy myself, but now. eyery
darnef woman in the neighUorhood must be-
invited 10 hear the new piano, and eyery time
the blasted thing shrieks out, like q locomo-
tive with the bronchitis, have TO prase its
lone, and when the invited guests are PLAYING
have TOO say, Exquisite" "Ieavenly ie
all such trash, while at the same time know
Just as much abou, music as o blind goldfish
There are more tuning hammers than comforts
IN our house, and wish The inventor Of the
piano was troubled with perpetual night.
ma re, and Obliged TO sleep in one of his in.
slrumenis all his life.
AS 10 myself, had rather put my head un.
der lin pan and be drumned 10 sleep with a
pair ofsnoothing irons, than hear "La Somna.
oula,' or any other La ;humped oui of piano.
Scatter pennies in font ofmy house, and draw
together all the wandering minsttels in the
ciiy--hand organs, banjos, Gdtles, temborin,s
raitling bones and fish Lorns. Let juvenile
monkeys crawl in at my windows in search
OF three cent pieces-l, tne be awakened al
the cry OF "murder !'-ring the fire bell, and
have devil OF time generally--do all This,
and | VIII not complain; but Danish the nj.
amos! My piano has got TO go. am going
to launch the internal machine out of The win.
dow The first dark night, aud my friends, | ad.
V!se you 10 sleep with cotton in your ears, or,
when she gives her dying grunt, you'll think
+ you've fallen out Of bed or fallen star has
gone TO- 1onst upon the houSetop. For the in
formation of "Young Amelico,''l will state
that all tie pieces of brass wire and iyoy
+ Keys they are welcome to, but The skeleton /
want for refrigerator.