Smyrna times., 1856-07-02
Straps--Uarietp.

fahr;oo / improves the whiteness of tba
. re,nn,i 1eSiues the usual caustic effect is tbps
soft ,i anu Che hands are left with pecuIiar
soIt and silky feeling leaving notb;n,, peculiar
Oe oesired by the most ambitious was6erwo,o. ~
VI a beautiful superstition prevails omono
NC He"eca M tribe OF Indians. When an Jndio5
maiden dies, they imprison vonno h;.j Hula!, a!,
hrst begins to try its power of so1o and>,La1
iodalng 1t with kisses and caresses. thew inoan
us ponds over the grave, in the belief ,ba, :.
:. vi. "ot Iold It's wings nor close its ewes nntI
"a" Ho"h 10 The spirit land, and delivered
10 precious burden Of affection to the loved a nd
.U:'. ~ 10 not unfrequent to see tventv ~
'"'f'y Olrds let loose over one grave. -
W Dewey, the town agent =" for Tho H.
trooutlon OF the "ardent" in Burlin@,om vs.
mont, formerly kept clerk who will male >
Soou treasurer Dy-and.by. Having grown onite
uusgusted with the shabby pretext that the
od 'ipplers wonld offer as a reason for "a 81; ~.
cihe' ne grew as sharp in his examinations o.
quarantine doctor. One day an old "b,rd
"eaG asked for pint of brandy.
nat is your difficulty z" inquired the how
WY saio a man, laying his hand patbeti-
! loose" 10 all Father
well" replied the clerk, "this is no Dl,c.
to get tight" - ~ pace
" 1t strikes us that there is t" world oc
wisdom" in the followinor c worid OF
it is: f"O'"'ioh-orief as
" Every school boy knows that a kite wonld
~: ny u"!ess IL had string tying it down. It
U.s. 50 ~ llie' The man who is tied down
~ - nan uo2eh blooming responsibilities. and
their mother, will make higher and stronaa. ans
night than the bachelor, who having notbIn1.
70 keep hm steady, is always floundeTing in ,bs
mud II you want 10 rise in the world &c
yourself to somebody"
VI When your wife begins to scold. LET ber
nave nave IL out. Put your feet up cozly over the
P'dce loil PACK IN your chair light one of
your cigars, and let the storm rare on. CO.,
nothing-make no answer to anything Guy
Wen, little more advice, if you nleasa
having placed yourself in that eaUiabLe nos;.
tioh' fenect whether you deserve the thunder
ABOUT your ears, and if so, Gas is probably the
caseD put your feet gently down, cease your
lonlng' put out your cigar, kiss your little wife
ana ehdeavor to be better husband.
6F Every one will remember the story ~
.I nu' 9g' me- VINO on oae occasion had just risen i'm
the House of Commons, with some na ners - M :,
nanus' on the subject of which he intended to
make motion, when a rough hewn member
VINO had no ear for the churms of eloouence
rudely started up and said
MI. Speaker, hope the honorable pentle.
man uoes not mean TO read that large bundle of
papers and bore us with long speech into the
bargain.'' '"'O ''ie
Burke was so swollen, or rather so nearly
suliocated with rage, as to be totally Incapable
Oh utterance, and absolutely run out of the
House. '''e
it was on this occasion that the witty George
Selwyn remarked:
ba fret nd
saw the old fable realized-a lion put 10 ffgbt
by the braying of an ASST
ms compliment, it is said, tended not lit
tie to moillfy Burke's resentment.
OF young fellow was talking politics with
young lady he adored, named MARY. and sb-,
sympathlzed with the Know NothinGs.
"oh, said she, in a depreci lting tone. at
see you are not Know Nothing"
oh no, of course" said he; show eould
be when i worship the Virgin Mary"
0r.r John Randolph was one of the most sor.
castle men that ever lived. One time youno
man attempted to make his acquaintance. He
obtained an introduction, and among the first
remarks, said
al passed your house lately, Mr. Randolnb -
"a hope you always will :" was the sharp re.
ply.
OF What glorious thing it is for youpU
man 10 nave The smiles OF approval and good
wishes fevery 1t is certain SION. 1fIa
preserves an honesty of purpose, and an unsnI.
lied reputation for Se aclty that he will be sue
cessful in any business he may engage in. and
IS also one of the surest paths to speedy wealth
NJ nd that now, young men.
or A farmer going to get his grist pround
at a mill, borrowed bag of one of.his neighbors
The poor man was knocked under the water
wheel, and the bag with him. He was drswn
ed and when the melancholy news was brouObt
to his wife she exclaimed: My gracious what
fuss there'll be about that bag!'
Or A married lady who was very fond Of
her husband, notwithstanding his extreme ugli
ness of person, once said to witty acquaint
ance-" what do you think, my husband has
gone aud laid out fifty dollars for large mon
key on purpose to please me - az The dear
little man." cried the other, swell, it is just
like him."
0r An lrishman called in great haste upon
DIR. Alternately, stating that
BE dad my boy Tim has swallowed a
mouse"
"Then be dad said the Doctor, " tell YOUR
Tim to swallow a cat"
O-j-An Irish sailor once visited city where
he ssid ''they copper-bottomed the tops of the
houses with sheet-lead.
0cF If you want to see black squall lust
look at negro baby attacked by the collie.
0cT- A beautiful face is the finest of all spec
tacles, aud the sweetest of all harmonies is the
voice other we love.
OF The best cough mixture that has been
made, consists of thick boots, mixed with lots
of air and plenty of exercise. People who hug
the steve and grow lean viii please take no.
tIce.