The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1856-09-03
The swell-Head Disease.

The Swell-Head Disease.
This dreadful disease sometimes attacks
horses, and, probably, other animals, as
monkeys and jack-asses; and some birds,
as the parrot and mocking bird. But
men are more subject to it, and with them
it is moro fatal..'iis ~ ,'t
CAUSE. -Vacuity in the Uranium. It
is often augmented by fattery, especially
when the cerebrum is small and i'll shaped.
Men of large information, however, are
sometimes afflicted with it, in which case
there is found an inordinate swelling in
the'upper region.o of the ahead, just back of
the oper cranii. The. pretuberance is
called self-esteem $780,. ~ ~. ..ss
SYMPTOMS. The poor creature usually
fancies himself the biggest, smartest best,
and handsomest man inthe crowd--loves
the "uppermost seats in the synagogues,"
lis given to impudence, impertinence, and
usually bad manners in company - is
censorious and fond OF finding and expos
| ing the feibles of his associates--has few
friends and no lovers. and has generally
a bad odor to polite and well-bred people
given to swelling and strutting, as if in
one moment he fancied himself toad,
and the. next a turkey cock. He is ego
tistic, and passionately fond of high
sounding titles, AZ Squire, Captain, Col
onel, General, &C. The miserable patient
lis sometimes so infatuated as to attempt
to stride the ocean, or jump over very high
mountains. These are only few Of the
symptoms of this malady, but enough to.
identify it.
TREATMENT. When it. is, caused by
emptiness of the cranium, it is only neces-
sary to fll up the vacuum with good ideas.
q solid education, OF common sense.
When induced by diminntiveness, or orImal-
formation of the brain, the cnre is SOW
and difficult. We have known some cases
which defed every remedy and destroyed
the patients. A cure must be attempted
by exercising and cultivating those facul-
ties which are. deficient, such as the judg-
ment, and the understanding, and depict
ing self-esteem, &c. The skulls Of these
patients are usually very thick, and hard,
- e l sE - "a =
$50 that it is hard pounding anything into
them; but they are excessively fond Of soft
soap-give them, a pound or two every
day, and it will soften the skull SO that
yea san probably get . little slmption
into it or q lnodicnm ratiocination, and
they will soon be we'll. When this will
not cure, soft soap will palliate.
In the case of those gentlemen, from
ten to twenty years old, who get to putting
on the boots and pantaloons of their
fathers, and to teaching their teachers,
reproving, connselling, and sometimes i'm
sulting old age, chewing tobacco, smoking
cigars, and drinking whiskey swearing
and cutting the swell-head generally-ap-
petite for late hours, bad company, and
bar-rooms voracious little oil of birch,
applied By tie paternal hand, IS the best
remedy. Then keep them cut Of theinight;
air and bad weather. If this does not
effect cure by the divine blessing -the
bead grows and grows, till the poor suffer
er topples over few times, and knocks
out half his self-esteem - Louisiana Bap-
tist sii isge ~ st.9lsssrtt
We recommend an application to hs
champion. Il