Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1856-11-29
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Uncle Peters Opinion of the Girls.

] > oRihion tuS >NAAiS'
( I'll tell vou, boys, This ere rannin srter
gals ainl what it's cracked up 10 be. I've
had liule experience in that line in my
days, have. 4 true girl is abou! as
skeerce an article as Wall street honesty,
and that's decidedly below par. As long
as lelIcr's got the lin and can treat he's
some; but Jest wait Till the ballast gets
low, and You will hear some OF the insln-
uations. This cOurin' is just about as
risky business as dealing at Perham's.
A letteo don't draw blank, I'll admit,
hut he must draw the pile, or he'll not get
/ the stakes.
mind the time I'd smashed any fel-
Iler's face that would a told me that Betsy
Baker wasn't purly; but have changed
my mind some since. | was sucked in
win that gal the ducedest, I'll admit; but
since its all over, I'll tell YOU fellers all
about il provided you don't say no'hin'.
When | was young, and as natural
consequence rather verdant in courtin bus
mess, met Betsy Baker at an apple-bee,
at old Deacon Smiih's, near Bangor. She
was dressed up TO Kill, and powdered up
ill she looked most darned nice ; and |,
being about as green as tulpy hooking in
June, was fool enough 10 think them
sleepy eyes she was casting al me, were
caused by that thing called "loye al first
sight," and the consequence was return
ed them ar g,ances with palpita!in'
heart.
By-and.by we got done with The ap-
pies, and begun playin. The first three
sleps-Ia sakes you ought 10 seen me
jumpin' around like a parched pea on
drum-head, with 'hat ar gal, and when
we got TO playin' "JoggIe," didn't we
joggIe along !-well, now, we did nu'h-
IN else.
Somebody made move to adjourn a.
bout halt past ten, and asked Betsy TO ac-
cePt the angle of my elbow, and started
for home, lhinkin' all the time that the
'PostIe Scrapeshear must have been tight
or mlsiniormed, one or the other, when
he said, "I'he course Of true love never
did run smooth" Well, took that girl
TO all the circus shows---to sec The ele6nt
and The rhinoserus, and treated her 10 ice
cream on all occasions-never once ,hink.
irT that she never thought anything o
me. and only pulling the wool over my
eyes.
Well, |, fool like, spen, the most Of my
hard earned dimes for Betsy, and was be-
glnnln 10 be hard up, when q young law
yer stuck up hls shngle m Bangor, and
soon found out that il was highly proba-
bic that | would have rival in the cour-
tin line. In fact | heard lha. this limb
oi the law was seen proving about Solo,
mon Bakers house. This kinder riz my
dander; so | started for Belsy's the next
Saturday night. and on entcrin' found her
alone. Well, never was much for use.
less ceremony, so | so, down in The big
rockln' chair, and said in the language Of
the poet, who, with outsretched arms,
exclaimed. "Come 10 my arms, ye groa.
sy filters -
This was a way often addressed her
when wanted her TO Sit on my lap, and
never thought but she would do il again.
as she had often before. But she didn'l,
bit with a turned up nose, said -
"Nlr. Sanders, in future do not wish
TO keep company with any person, who
uses this kind Of Ianmage TO me-"
This kinder skeered me, but soon re-
covered sufficiently Ia make use OF an ex-
preston that ended with and and then
sid.
| soon found that she bad been waning
10 sack me ioi some time, but could never
yct the chance until This time. But NAV
be you think thought Of stretching a
hemp or siiangIing myself with bologna
sausage. II YOU do, you are decidedly
mistaken. for in he language Of Sykesy
81 only takes horn, observing, lei her
went" You see it amt girl fashion IN
De lrne, so leave of as | begun--T will
say, true girls are like Wall street homes
y duccd scarce article.