Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1856-01-31
EVENING STAR.
POLLING A RIVAL.

shy critter Gusset, just cause he's a city
fellur, she ant the gal / took her for-that's
sartin. No it's the old folks-darn their
ugly pictures. Old Miss Peabody was alIers
q dreadful hifalutin' critter, full Of big no
| tions, and the old mans a regular softhead.
driven about by his wife Jest as our old one
eyed rooster is drove about by our cantanke-
rous five tOed DOrkin' hen. But if 1 don t
spile his fun my name aint Jonathan. I'm
gOin' down to the city by the railroad next
| week, and when l come back-wake, snakes (,
| that's all"
The above soliloquy may serve to give the
reader some slight idea Of the "lsy Of the
land" in the pleasant rustic village where the
| speaker resided.
Mr.. Jonathan DOubikins was a young far
| mer, well to do in the world, and looking out
| for n wife, and had been paying his addresses
to Miss Susan Peabody, of that iIk, with a fair
prospect of success, when a city acquaintance
OF the Peabodys, one Mr.. Cornelius Gusset,
| who kept retail dry goods shop in Hanover
street, Boston, had suddenly made his appear
ance in the field and had commenced the
4" cutting out" game. DaZzled with the pros
| pect of becoming gentleman's wife, and
pesteredIwith the opportunities of her aspiring
mamma, the village beauty had begun to
| waver, when her old lover determined on n
| last and bold stroke to foil his rival. He went
| to the city and returned. OF his business
there he had said nothing, not even to pump
| ing maiden aunt who kept house for him. He
| went not near the Peabodys', but labored in
| his cornfeld, patiently waiting the result of
1 his Vaccinations.
The next day, Mr.. Gusset was with the old
| folks and their daughter in the best room of
the Peabody mansion, chatting as pleasantly
| as may be, when the door opened and in
rushed a very dirty and furious Irish woman.
| els it there ye are, Mister Cornelius 20 she
1 screamed, addressing the astonished Gusset.
"COme out of that, before L fetch ye, ye
spalpeen. Is that what ye promised me afore
the praste, ye hsythen nagur. Runnin'
| away from me and the childer, forsakin' yer
lawful welded wife, and runnin' after the
Yankee gals, ye infdel!"
Woman, there must be some mistake
here, Stammered Gusset, taken all aback by
| this charge.
| "Divil bit of mistake, ye sarpint.
wirra wirra was it for the likes of ye
sacked little Dinnis McCarty, who loved the
| ground throd on, and all bekase ye prom
ised to make lady Of me, ye dirty thief Of
| the woIruld! Will ye come along to the rail-
| road station, where l left little Patrick, be-
| cause he was too sick wild the small pOx TO
come any furder, or will ye wait till drag
| yen'
"Go-go-alOng, gasped Gusset; go
| and ii follow you"
| He thought it best to temporize.
| II Civ ye tin minits, said the yirago
| If ye amt there, its my cuzzin, Mr.. Thaddy
| Mulgruddery, will be after ye, ye thief "
And away went this " unbidden guest
| Mr, Gusset was yet engaged in stammering
out denial of all knowledge of the virago,
when the parlor door opened again, and a
little black-eyed, hatchet-faced woman, in a
lashy silk gown, and cap with many rib
| bens perched on the top of her head. yaded
the sanctity of the parlor.
| "Is he here?" she cried, in a decided
French accent, Then she added, with
scream, "Ah mon Dieu kc votLa. Zere
he is. Traitre, monster! Vat for you run
| away from me! dis two tree year / nevairc
see you, nevaire, and my heart broke yer bad
| entirely"
| "Who are you?" cried Gusset, his eyes
starting out of his head, and shiyering from
| head to foot.
"He asks who L am. o, ladies o, you
yer respectable old gentilhOmme! hear vat he
ask! Who L am, perfde' ah! I'm your
| wife 80
81 never zee you 'fore-s' help me Bob 30
| cried Gusset, energetically
"DOn't you swear ~ said Deacon Peabody.
| " Eff you do, I'll kick you into fits, by golly
won't hev no profane or vulgar language in
| my house"
| 80, bless you bless you, respectable old
| man. Tell him he must come viz me. Tell
| him have spoke to re constable. Tell him"
sobs interrupted her utterance,
CTS a pesky bad business. !" said the dea-
con, chahng with unwonted ire. "Gusset,
you're a rascal"
"Take care, Deacon Peabody, take care 20
said the unfortunate shopkeeper. .. n
| q remarked you was a rascal, Gusset,
| You've gone and married two wives, and that
ere's fat burglary, eff know anything beout
the Revised StatOots." '
Two wives !" shrieked the Frenchwoma an.
"Half dozen, for aught know TO the con-
| traryi' said the deacon. " Now you clear
| out Of my house, go way to the station, and
clear out into Boston. 1 won't hev nothin'
more to do with you" 4
But Deacon, hear me-"
| "I don't want to hear ye, ye sarpint ~
| cried the Deacon, stopping his ears with his
| hands. Margin two wives, end comm
cOurtin' a third. GO long! Clear OUT
Even Mrs Peabody, who was inclined to put
in a word for the culprit. was silenced Susan
| turned from him in horror, and in utter de.
| spair he fed to the railway station, hOtly pur
| sued by the clamOrous and indignant French
| woman.
| That same afternoon, as Miss Susan Pea
| body was walking toward the village, she was
| overtaken by Mr.. Jonathan Doubikins, dressed
| in his best, and driving his fast going horse
before his Sunday go-to- meeting chaise. He
| refined up, and accosted her.
Halo, Suke Get in and take a ride 2"
Don't keer if do, Jonathan" " replied the
young lady, accepting the proffered seat.
| 81 say-you," said Jonathan, grinning,
T" that'ere city fellur's turned out pooty pup,
| aint he % .s. .r....
''It's dreadful, if it's true.' replied the
young lady.
"You had q narrer escape, didn't ye?"
pursued the old lover. 'But he warn't never
of no account, any how. What do the old
| folks think about it p" .
"They haint said a word since he cleared
out.' nF
| "Forgot that night rode you home from
| singing school 2" asked Jonathan, suddenly
| branching of.
mo, [ haint," replied the young lady,
| bIushing and smiling at the same time.
"Remember them apples GIN you Z"
go, yes. .r
"WeIl, they was good-wasn't they"
aFirst rate, Jonathan" .F. .-t
g Got hull orchard Of them kind or fruit,
Suke," said Jonathan, suggestively.