The true Democrat., 1856-09-02

mighty luvin sort of people, und whar they hay tu walk in couples mile through the woods, thar meetings are pleasant and calkilated to elevate the feelins. Dye got a brother who's gone over to "Hard Shell Baptsts," und the last heerd of him he was some whar out west 'playln on harp of thousand strings" The Hard Shell Baptist are uv the Devil, and if they git hold of yea they'll put you under wotter and keep yea thar till you promise to % to He'll thar way; but they are as cunnin as Foxes and pretend they're on the way to the other side of Jordon. Don't yea let them fool vea Be ye ,0ise as sarpnts, seeking aohom ve naav de- UOlr.
 Pm from the land of fair dealin and stiddy habits, a voice from an outsider: "steady d-n rascally steady habts."] l hear the voice of a "Hard Shell Baptist" he's Border Rufhan D pursuin fugtives from Lawrence, but he can't ketch 'em-theyre too sharp for him, they've taken the underground route to the other side of Jordan. Be ye seise as sarpints seeking ,chonl ye may devour.
 But, as l said in the fust place lastly, I'm from the land of fair dealing and stiddv habits; you mout think Pm proud bekase I'm from thar, but Pm not-Pm not come out here to be nominated for President, no, no the Jubernic- kle chair Is an institution of sin and wicked ness ah; my dear friends, don't you let um git any of you into that chair, ah; don't you let them nominate yea, ah Be ye ,oise as s,upints, seekang a0hom ye may devo,u.
 Second'y-My Breethering did think sum beln nominated when 1 started out heer, (mav the Lord forgive me,) and tu git the start nv everybody cum In the night, two days afore- hand, but hadn't got the start nv nobody, ah! and hotel room was about as skase as hens teeth, or 2raSs hoppers in hard snow storm, and To . mout nv been seen departin from thls tavern, and that tavern, gwine around just atore day, like thief in the night seeking whose room l mout cheat nobody out nv, ah. Be ye 0lse as sarpnts, seekiag ,ohona ye may de- UOur.
 What progressin' age this is people are larnln' so fast that they know all the knowlidg of the future gIneraton up to the present time ah; the time Was, we're iulormed-no matter whar-when 1t only required man to git up areiy III the mornln' to git the start of his neigh DOTS, but all things has changed, for now when l set up all night I'm behind hand like that hanSum bell cunmin inter meetin', come out at the eetle eend of the horn ah; and open my mouth and spake to the city in lou4 voice say!ng,' l wish l had place to sleep in this wicked city ah. Verify, verify, say unter yer Uio loAen nave Holea to cfaiI into. My Dreth- ring, here let me remark that I have no posi- tive evidence of this fact myself but to the two greatest apostles of the age, Henry Ward Beecher and Brigham Young, whose opinions are received by us ''Hire Laws,' bear testmo- ny that both Foxes and Holes are d ancient in- sututlon ah. I'm in favor of ancient nstitu- tons, although Eve rever seen one. Yes, my dear hearers, this pious buzzim las always been yearnln' after ancient institutions ah for the Lord has said, Be ye aoise smpi,ts seekn ,ohon. ye may deU0ur ah.
 1htrdIy-Thar is great many kinds of an- cent institutions; ill the time of Noah, good wlne was very popular institution, and pous old paul-who was no sap head-told um to take sum for theer stomach sake ah und it's bln handed down to this generation ah; but good old Daniel prophesied new institution ov things, und the Lord Tit it down with his finger on the walls uv Babilon ah; city ah, whare they could git up the talest kind nv a spree ah; und he give it to Moses the cirkit preacher ot that country ah and the inscription |, was, nlene mele tehiI, which means. according to the Hebrew slation-skelan1 sclsnapps i,l 6tach bottles, ah and I've got as good an artickle Tn my carpet bag as Is in the country ah; und ltyou just come round to brother Peter Jopeses alter metln' IS out, you shall all have drink an; Lgroans from the audience, but yea must walt till the temperance people-honest souls, are asleep ah. Be ye as l0iSe as Sarpants. sesktr asiton ye may devour ah.