The Abbeville banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1847-1869, 1856-01-17
A Racy Stump Speech.

promising genius who had announced him
self as a candidate for Congress:
Friends and feier citizens of this conflic-
tious community, Use ris up to give you
warnin' and make political speech, and
what Pm going to speak about I'll alludc
to. Now, Id like to have you pay partic-
ular attention. as the preacher says, when
the boys is pitchin' beans at his nose. I
say crisis has arrived, wheels Of govern
lnent is stopped, the machinery needs
greasin', the rudder's unshipped, the buster
billed, aud HIS atloat and the river risin'.
Our glorious ship Of state, that, like bob
tailed gandcr, is floated down the peaceful
current of time, has had its harmony dis
turbcd, and is drifting with fearful rapidity
towards the shoals and quicksands of dis
union, threatening to dash everything into
flinders, and pick itself up in the end a
gone goslin'. 1Iarkcn no longer, yc wor-
thy denzcns of Hog Hole, Tcrrapin Neck,
and adjacent regions, to that siren voice
that whispers in your too credulous ears,
the too delusive sound, peace, peace, for
peace has done slopcd and flewcd to the
other lands, or div to the depth of the
mighty deep, or in the more emphatic Ian
guage of Tecumserum, gone fl;ckcrin' threw
frogs of other cimcs, to adc the miser
watcher i'll his dimes. Or of the great Al
exander, at the battle Of Hunkers Bill,
who, in agony of despair, franlically shrek-
ed, 90, gravy! peace has gone like my
schule-boy days, and don't care darn !"
lie was whole horse and team, sure.
Feller citizens and gals too-in our halls
Of legislature, confusion runs riot and anar-
chy rains supreme. Rise up, then, like po-
kcrs i'll tatcr patch, and shook off the
dew drops of yer huntin' skirts, and fell
into ranks. Sound the tocsin! beat the
drum ! and blow the tin horn! till the
startled echoes revcrberate from hill top to
hill top, and frcm gopher hill to gopher
hill, make the adamantine hills of New
England, the fcr:ugnous disposition of Mis-
'""''1 ts"u thS phliClCo vi SSll-
forny, to prick up their ears. an1, in whis-
perez. accents, enquire of their nabors-
"what's the mattcr?"
Fcllcr citizens and the wimmin-1 repeat
Tito your posts, from the tip-topmost peak
in the Ozark Mountains, and bid defiance
to the hull earth by hollerin' whose afeard,
in such thunderin' tones, that, quakcn with
terror, they'll! forget what nigsg;er is. Don
your dusty reglmcntaIs, grease the locks of
your guns and put in new tlints, grind
your old scythes and make sords out on
'em, mount your horses and save your ma
ton or bust!
The time is critical-blood's goin' to be
poured out like soap suds outen wash
tub, and every man that's got soul as big
as the white of nigger's eye'll be ready
to fight, bleed and die for his country J.
Them's the times--you want men in the
councils of the nation that you can depend
on-thats me. Elect me to Congris, and
I'll stick to you through thick and thin,
like lean tick to a nigger's shin! I'm
not going to mako electioneering speech.
I'd scorn the act. You know me; I've
been fotched up among ye; already on the
wings of topoltical imagination, fancy
see you marchin' up to the polls in a solid
phalanx, and with shout that makes the
earth ring, hurrah for Jim Smith," come
down on my opponent like n thousand of
brick on rotten punkin.