Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1856-05-30
EVENING STAR.
A Night with the Know Nothings; or
Uncle Jaks's Experience.
BY HIS NEPHRN

Thar never was better dimicrat than Un-
Gle Jake Rodgers on the yearth, alters atten-
din barbecues and speechifyins every chance,
and like the Parson, could give a reason for
the faith that was in him-he has alters been
looked up to as q sort of oracle in perlitical
matters, and noes the history OF the United
states Bank and its orful iniquities, the tariff
and its oppressors, the distribution of the pub
lick lands, and all them measures the old
Wings used to try to fix on the people so hard.
In fact, Uncle Jake was a dimicrat from the
top of his he'd to the sole Of his feet and from
one side all through to the other, and Aunt
Nancy, his wife, was just rambunctious on
the subject as himself, only little more so
Now, Mr.. Editor, don't like to expose
Uncle Jake, but the thing is so good I'll have
to tell you all about it.
Last summer thar cum into our settlement a
nice young man, sent out. as l larnt from
your place, TO make No-Nothins, but he didn' L
let US all no what he cum for at fust How
somever, he linked in quite lot on 'em, prn-
clpsily Wings, and 1 larnt that sum on 'em
Intended tryin thar hands ON Uncle Jake
Thinks L, old fellers you II be barkin' up the
rGng tree, sertin. but the fust thing noed
they got hold of the old man, treated him,
told him that the dimmicrats was all jinin
on em-that it warnt no Whig trick, nor
nuthin- of that sort-that the Pope of "roarr >
was cummin' here to use up cur Govern
ment, to make preests of the boys an nuns of
all the gals--that all the other denominations
would have to cave in, an wear crosses an
kiss the Pcpe's big toe-that the No-Nothins
ware going TO stop ali these evil things-goin'
to regencrate the land, and bring things back
to the days of Gineral Jackson-that Gov
jackson folks war all fur 'em, tooth and toe
nail, and what with one thing an another the
fust thing Uncle Jake noed he was a reglar
rinStailed No-NOthin. They dun the ole man
at mite, and arter it was all over he started
home, an as he went along his mind was full
of misgivings, how could he face the ole
'omun? What would Ginral Jackson say if
be was alive How could he meet his cid
dimicratic friends agin? and he suddenly re-
collected that The Union, (the old watchman
on the tower of our Perlitical Zion, as he used
to call your paper,) was opposed to it All
these things begin to work in Uncle Jake's
mind, till by the time he got home he was in
powerful swivet
He found Aunt Nancy sitting up for him,
an Unkle Jake he never was ashamed to meet
afore.
"WelI, jake" says she, "what on yearth
has kept you out so late tonight 90 for Unkle
Jake was very regulat in his habits
"Wy, Nancy, been round-attendin
meetln to-nite," says he quite hesitatin like.
w hat kind Nv meetin saysshe
WA sort Nv perlitical meetin," ses he,
shiverin all over, fur he was powerful Uneasy
by this time
"Well," ses she, eff you've been tryin to
he'd these no-nuthins, amt got no more to
say, fur you couldn't be in better bisiness, fur
L learn that sum as call themselves dimicrats
haye Jined 'em. l don't like en- no how,
Jake, fur they don't cum out open an above
board, but ar pOkin at mite in alleys and dark
places; bnt thank the Lord you Amt wun of
EN-, FUR L no couldn't live with one on 'em
to save my life But what makes you look
so, jacob ! are you sick Bless my life if
you amt got chill ON you, and your hands
as cold as ice What's the matter, Jake ?"
"Nuthin much, - ses Unkle Jake, 4" don
ieel very well to-nite, ole oman, as II 90 to
bed,'' SO sayin he slipt into bed, and the old
oman arter him.
Blmeby Unkle Jake, arter tossin and rOllin
about, gifts to sleep, and dremt that all his
dImlcrat friends he used TO be with so much
wOuldn have nuthin to do with him, and that
he couldn't no longer vote his old ticket, for
his old friends and his old principles, and he
groaned in spirit.
death. and Unkle Jake had to out with the
hole thing. Aunt Nancy jumped out Nv bed
and declared she shouldn't stay thar, that
no-nuthin couldn 'tcum nigh her. Unkle Jake
at last told her eff she would forgive him, he d
90 carly in the mOrnin and get out of the
thing, but she told him no, she couldn't stand
him till mornin, and directly Unkle Jake
hauls on his close, and went out and got the
President and sum more on EN- together, and
swore he must git out afore mornin or kill sum
body. They let him out-and when he got
loose, he sung, he shouted, he danced and ca
pered like a bOy-he run home and like to a
Aunt Nancy to deth; she, good old
soul, was mitily riled about it, an power
fully distressed, but sealed his pardon with
kiss of forgiveness, and let by-gones be by
cones.
One man soon arter hinted to Unkle Jake
that he heard he was no nuthin, when he
pitched into the feller an like to waIloped
him 10 doth since that TING nobody has over