Western Reserve chronicle. [volume] (Warren, Ohio) 1855-1921, 1856-04-09
A LAUGHABLE PREDICAMENT.

the slightest cause we're manifest f.om any
passing OBJECT that he chose TO attack
1t was midnight, and as we approached the
village ORA, he espied a mansion
house OIL The Top Ola small sugar loafhill,
close by the road. When we arrived op.
posiie, he asked the driver 10 stop a few
moments; the request was cheerfally CON-
piled with, although we were almost freez
ing; but what trick he had in view none
could guess.
The funny gentleman marched directly
up to the front door of the mansion and
knocked with his cane loud enough TO
wake up all the inmates. Immediately a
w~indow-sash was raised; and out popped a
red nighicap containing the head of Ike
proprietor, which in alarm exclaimed:
"What-what's the matter! What's
wanted at this time o%fnigh,?"
pardon me, sir, for this intrusion; but
| have a communication 10 make to you
personally, and as the Stage is waiting
inpatiently for me, please hurry down TO
the door for one moments interview"
The old genlleman's red night-cap, with
i's owner in a garment curtailed of no
fair proportions, was almost Immediately
at the door, politely bowling 10 the funny
stranger, who again ~apologized for dis
turbing his slumber, and thus exposing
him to the chilly winds of a December
night.
"My dear sir" interrupted Mr.. Night
cap, "don't mention it, but pardon me for
appearing before you in the plight you
see me-"
"You are certainly most excusible, and
especially so as my great haste has
prompted this courteous reponse to my call
upon you"
"Be pleased to step into the house, IS
| notice some ladies in the coach are al
tracted by my appearance"
"Never mind them, sir. Your finely
located mansion has arrested the attention
of us all-it makes a truly beautiful ap-
poarance in the bright moonlight. Speak
ing Of the moon, brings TO my mind the
question which has recently agita'ed the
scientific world, and in which you uu-
doubtcdly have been interested, viz Is
this luminary inhabited, or is itnoI inhab-
ited. The telcscopic"-
Excuse my interruption, sir, but al
low me to get a cloak, f3r | am almost
frozen and"-
"Ten thousands plrdons, dear friend.
but the stage is waiting for me, and |
must loose no time, for of all things in The
world, Time, that"-
"Allow me 10 remind you, sir, that you
desired to make a communication TO me.
am now ready 10 receive it,"
"Ah mel How unmindGul | am in the
discharge of a duty incumbent upon ME.
and which has been too long prOtracied,
most readily acknowledge"
'-Oblige me, sir by coming directly TO
the communication you wish to make"
'Again | beg you 10 forgive my appar-
eni hardness in doing so. The f-ct, my
dearest sir, which as a scientific man |
felt it my duty to divulge to you for your
own benefit, for | need no: inform you the
men endowed With scientific attachments.
and
But sir, | demand without farther de-
lay, what is the important fat you desire
TO communicate"
1T is simply this: your house being
situated OF the apex of bill, with sides
shopping sufficiently 10 allow water to flow
therefrom, | have stopped the coach this
cold night, and aroused you form your
slumbers, 10 aPPriss you of the fact that
you can, with the greatest ease, drain
yOuT cellar IA -four different directions"
"You internal scoundrelr' shrieked the
as'onished and Infatuated proprietor, ''I'll
teach you a trick worth a dozen of this,'
an he seized the funny gentlenian's cane,
who commenced a hurried retreat for the
coach-ihe red night cap and abbreviated
white garment after him as fast as Two
spindle shanks could carry them. But
the funny gentleman gained on his Far-
suer jumped into the coach, which was at
ones put into full speed up an adjoining
hill, with the enraged country gentleman,
in a curtailed garment futtering in the
breeza, in cold pursuit, but whose hoI
imprecations against US all, were enough
to siihe the mirth of a live Yankee.
On arriving at the top Of the hill, by one
ofihose singular condolences that some
times occur at the crisis, 10 mar or 10
heighien ones happinesss,-we suddenly
came in contact with two open carriges
abreast, loaded 10 overlooking with ladies
and gentlemen, who were returning from
a country bali. The attention of The
whole party was soon turned to our red
night-capped, white garmented P%ursuer,
who, not liking so many lady spectators,
hurled lis cane al us, (which, however,
glanced by and struck among a family
of pigs by the road side, land commenced
a retreat for home, followed by a, dozen
squealing pigs, barking dogs. and a flock
of quacking geese. The scene presented
was one of the most ludicrous imaginable,
and such a wild outburst of uncomfortable
merriment Is seldom heard-indeed, il
va. q fit subject for The pen OF Hagarth.