The weekly Portage sentinel. [volume] (Ravenna, Ohio) 1854-1861, 1856-11-27
A sam Francisco Auctioneer.


The reporter of the San Francisco Neps
furnishes that paper With the following re-
port of speech made by a Californis auc.
tioneer: .aeH1t.-
ladies and gentlemen, now have the
honor of putting up fine pocket hundker-
chief; a yard long, yard wide, aud almost
yard thick one,half cotton, and t'other
half cotton, too; beautifully pNhted with
stars and stripes on one side, and the stripes
and stars on tother. 1t will wipe dust from
the eyes so completely as to be the death to
demagogues ,aud make politics as bad bust
uess as printing papers,. Its great length,
breadth and thickness, together with its dark
color, will enable it to hide dirt, and never
need washing. Going at one dolar!-seven-
ty five cents!-ffty cents!-twenty FIVE
cents!-one bit! Nobody wants it !-Oh !
thank you sir ... ... ..r-.......,...... ....
"Next, geatlemen-for the ladies' won't be
permitted to bid on this ARTICLES real, si-
mon-Pure, tempered, highly polished, keen
edged Sheffield razor; bran sparkin new;
never opened before to sunlight, moonlight,
Starlight, daylight, or gas-light; sharp
enough to shave lawyer or cut disagree.
able acquaintance or poor relation; handle
of buck horn; with all the rivets but the two
at the ends, of pure gold. Who will give
two dollars! one dollar! half dollar! Why,
ye long bearded, dirty faced reprobates. with
not room on your phizzes for Chinese wo-
man to kiss, I'm offering you bargain at
half dollar! Well, I'll throw in this strop
at half dollar!-razor and strop-a recent
patent; two rubs upon it will sharpen the
city attorney; all for four bits; and piece
Of soap-sweeter than roses, lathers better
than school master, and strong enough to
wash out a II the stains from California poll
iticians countenance, all for four bits! Why,
you have only to put the razor, strop and
soap under the pillow at night to wake up
clean shaved. Won't anybody give two
bits then for the lot! knew l would sell
'em.
"Next, ladies' and gentlemen, offer three
pair of socks, stockings, or half hose, just
as you're mind to call them, knit by ma
chine made on purpose, out Of cotton wool.
The man that buys these will be enabled to
walk till he gets tired; and provided his
boots are high enough, needn't have any
corns; the legs are as long as bills against
the corporation, and as thick as the mem.
bers of the Legislature. Who wants EN- at
one half dollar! Thank.ce, madam, the
money.
"Next, | offer you pair of boots; made
especially for San Francisco, with heels
long enough to raise q man up to the Hoad-
ley grades, and nails to insure against being
carried over by land slide; legs wide
enough to carry two revolvvrs and bowie
knife, and the uppers Of the very best horse
leather. A man in these boots can move
about as easy as the State capitol. Who
says twenty dollars! All tho tax payers
ought to buy pair to kick the council with;
everybody ought to have pair to kick the
legislature with; and they will be found of
assistance in kicking the bucket, especially
if somebody should kick at being Kicked
Ten dollars for legs, uppers and soes! while
souls, and miserable souls at that, are bring
twenty thousand dollars in Sacramento!--
Ten dollars! Ten dollars! Gore at ten
dollars! -.F. .s ..'
"Next is something that you ought to have.
gentlemen, Iotof good gallowses--som
times called suspenders. know that some
of you will, after while, be furnished OF
States expense, but you can't tell which
one, so buy where they're cheap. All that
deserve hanging are not supplied with gel
lows, il so, there would be nobody to nuke
laws, condemn criminals, or hang cuprits
uhtil new election. Made of pure gum
like a judges conscience,
and last as long as California office holder
will steal; buckles of pure iron, and war.
ranted to hold so tight that no mans wife
can rob him Of the breeches; are, in short,
as strong, as good, as perfect, as efFectual
and as bona .fde as the ordinance against
Chinese shops on Dupont street--gone at
twenty five cents'' a-.ua .. .a..