Demoine courier., 1856-05-08
A Bachelors Troubles.
BY PnINEAs ~PnuNBLE.

.'Corne, while you sit silent. I'll have you to
The truth or a lie from an old bachelor;
They'll set and they'll think till they wear ou'
their brain,
And wish for a wife but, alas I! 'ris in VAIN!
Sing d w~n--derry downp
Contound The luck! Here I've been
ia { an hour looking after nv Sunday
bro,s, aud finally | found one Of them on
the centre table, beneath a thousand more
or less hooks aud papees. aud The other
away bark IN a cudd, hole. where | SLOW
ava, DIN rubbish. Well. I've found my
elem shirt at last; and where Go ,ou
th'nk il wac? ! hope 10 hollsr II | hadn',
put ~ Ia my hat box; and my hat had
placed IN rhrs, where | keep NY Inner.
Hat all smastted ~ ,hunder-cus, five
dolisrs-,.h, oh!
Je IA 50 Ium! ll.rs's 4 descovtr!-
Tins shlr. hasn', goi a button on u-aad
HE wristbands aud coilAr aye all ir,zxl.d
mp With 'dtrliceur>" like the ftiaye. n
be'ieve that's the nsme) on a woman.
-wh.: dye call 'eml-neck cncirc.s,:
that's near enough any way. WIN,
what's the matter win this shir,! RIM,
cant get il III or on. RIP! ,hat's the
wsy tie money goes. Shirt cost me
!, ne dollar and hall: another expense,
by Jupiter! Cracke.! how cold u ,..-
Why, the hre has ''clean gin ou,."-
That's another Job. Cfuek-crack-
rLizz! Why, wha. is The mater with
the Goals: Come to think threw a
pail Of water over them, Have 10 Dor.
row some ~splinters.
MI" Sanc,imonious. viii you give
me a few splin,. RS!
Mercy on us! Why IL Mr. Phumbie
h.an', come RICH, on, sfors me wi,h M
thin on but his breeche.! and hi. wig oil
zoo. Law sskes! never knew ne wore
a wig before.
-. deal! Why d:dn'tl throw som..
Thing over mel My wig is Of, ,oo.-
Now u will be oil over Town in l few
minutes. that Phumble wears q wis
Wouldn. have il known Tor CIV doila,,.
No, sir rec! Well, I mus. have . Ore
some way. Let me see. Bowed i'll
don't make splin.ers = Of tia. I'D wa.h
stand; II isn't o any use 10 me; and The
wash bowl will do jus, ~ well on nv
linen chest Truly necessity is the mo-
sher Of invention! (Slap!-baneN Tsais
the way 10 use old rubbish! sfWhix!
bangD There's somelhinx cominer
Mr. Phumble how can you make such
q racket on the Sabbath day!'
ALLOW me 10 tell you. Mrs ean:umo
uioos. that lis n Of FOUR business |
reckon I'm lord Of my own room. il I do
live in a boarding house; and II / wan,ec
10, would break my neck Tor ali Of
your
Mighty 6ns talk. Ns Phumbls -
migaty ine-ypu old hedgehog! o, mss.
cy! il you havn'l borken my ~wasLs,,nd
iavori.c washs,anc! Hoo! hoo!
hoo!'
Tears for IN old wash stand! Bother.
alton! Id rather hear il thunder my time,
than 20 sec . womap in tears ant hear
her blubberirs. Nj hear, begins 10 melt
lis all '.running down" like ! clock,
or butter on . ho' summers day.
Dear Mrs Sancsy-heaven blesa YOU.
Here's a ten for smashing your treasure.
Now dry up; there's q good woman-
and please leave this room in Z tribe
shorter than halfa dozen eeeonds.'
Dear. DR. Phumble! Ten doliArs-
40 ! live! why that's enough 10 pay for
nall : dozen such ksepsakss! What a
winning way the man's got! You are
. level, Nh. Phumble-tha, YOU sre.'
And you're q confounded old swindlsr!
Ten dollars gone 10 her ~capacious peck.
ct! wish my heart Wa made Of iron.
Well, the Tres going a, last. Cr.ck
what q cheerful
glow II sends through the room! But i.
cost ten dollars. That's very much like
lighting cigars with ten dollar bills.
We'll, what am 10 do for . shiri-
Thank fortune. andaay usual foresight.
I've got half ! dozen IA my shsst-my
washsMnd rather, a. Ills now. Whs,
wonderful knaek l have of .killine I've
birds with one stons,-half . doxsn,