Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1856-04-10
soLILooUY OF A LoAFER,

Let's see, where am L! This is-eeal Pm
laying on. How'd I get here? Yes, mind
now. Was coming up street-met wheel
barrow-was drunk, comm to'ther way, the
wheel-barrow, fell over me, or over the
wheel-barrow, and one of us fell into the cell
lar-don't know which now-guess it must
have been me. I'm nice young man, yes
am-tight! tore! drunk! Well, I can't
help it-'taint my fault-wonder whose fault
'tis? Is it Jones' fault? No. Is it my
wife's fault? Well, it amt. Is it the
wheelbarrow's fault? No, it's whiskey's
fault Who is whisksy? Has he large
family? All poor, reckon. I think I
won't own him any more. I'll cut his &C.
quaintance. I've had that notion for about
ten years, and always hate to do it for fear
of hurting his feelings. I'll do it--think
liquors injurin' me-it's spoilin' my tenn
per.
Sometimes get mad, waen Pm drunk,
and abuse Bets and the hrats it used to be
Lizzie and the children-that's some time
ago, I'd come home q evenin's she used to
put her arms around my neck and kiss me,
and call me her dear William. When I
comes home now, she takes her pipe out of
her mouth and her hair out of her eyes and
says something like-"Bill, you drunken
brute shut the door after you ; we're cold g.
nough havin' no fire, 'thout lettin the snow
blow in that way" Yes, she's Bets and I'ra
Bill, now. amt good bill nuther; think
am counterfeit; won't pass-a tavern with
out goin' in and gettin' drunk. Don't know
what bank I'm on. Last Saturday was on
the river bank-drunk.
stay out pretty late; no, some times I'm
out pretty much all over-out of friends,
out of pocket, out at the elbows and knees,
and always outrageously dirty-so Bets
says; but then she's no Judge, for she's new.
er clean herself. wonder why she doesn't
wear good clothes; may be she hasen't got
'em; whose faults that faint mine
must be whiskey's
Sometimes I'm in however; Pm iatoxicar
ted now, and in somebody's coal CELLAR
There's one principle I've got-I won't
get in debt; never could do it. There,
one Of my coat tails is gone-got tore off, I
expect, when fell in here. I'll have to
get a new suit, soon. A good sign for pa
per mill. If he wasn't SO big, I'd kick
him. I've had this shirt on for nine days,
an Pm afraid it won't come off without
tearin.'' People ought to respect me more'n
they do, for I'm in holy orders. I amt
dandy, though my clothes are pretty near
Greaseian style. I guess I tore this window
shutter in my pants t'other night when I
sat down on the wax in Ben Riggs shop;
I'll have to get it mended, or-I'll catch
cold. amt very stout, as it is. As the
boys say, I'm as fat as a match, and as hal.
thy as the small pox. My best hat is stand.
ing guard for a window pane that. went the
other morning at the invitatio..n of brick.
Lat. It's getting cold dom here wonder
if amt able to climb. If had drink I
could think better. Let's see; I amt got
three cents; if / was in a tavern I could
sponge one. Whenever anybody treats,
and says come fellers,' always think my
names 'fellers,' and I've got too good man.
ners to refuse. Well, I must leave this, or
they'll arrest me for an attempt to burglary.
I amt come to that yet. Anyhow, it was
the wheelbarrow did the harm-not me.