Monmouth weekly herald. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1854-1860, 1856-11-20
ynteresting storg,
HOW IL0ST A WIFE.
AN EPISODE IN THE LIFE OF BACHELOR,

AN EPISODE IN THE LIFE OF A BACHELOR
:" / am down on dogsi l have til,
greatest possible antipathy to dogs of al
breeds, Your noble ewfoundland, az
they are appropriately, tbink-term
ed by their admirers, your faithful St
Bernard; your wiry-haired active rat-de
streying Scotch terrier; your long pug
tailed, pug-nosed, and very pugnacious
bull dog; your sickly looking and snarl
ing poodle-all, Individually and collec
lively, abhor. In short, and most EN-
phatically, tool detest the whole canine
race. 1t is an old antipathy, and as deep
ly rooted as an elm Of century's
growth.
am aware, however, that the bow.
WOW tribe is an extensive favored one
and therefore, am almost certain that 81
am myself alone fguratively speaking
In the opinion | entertain in regard te
their respective merits. Even now,
imagine hear a something else to do
young lady, as she lovingly manipulates
the soft and glossy curls of her long-eared
and red eyed lap dog, exclaim indignant
ly, 0, you brute ?" And thousand
other equally ungenerous and quite as
complimentary epithets, I have not the
slightest doubt, will be applied to me by
the Janciers of the noble race, in their
indignation at my individual aversion to
the dogs
But why this aversion?" some will
doubtless say and quite naturally ask
All I! thereby hangs atale." Listen, and
I'll tell it to you.
The unhappy event occurred years,ago,
when | was about twenty three At that
age was as bashfal as a girl who has
never INDUCED in Irritation, and as mod
est as quakeress. To look female
square in the face, would have brought
bushes enough to my countenance to make
beautiful an ordinary looking girl. Thet
admired, loved, adored the dear crea-
lures, was true; but always silently and
unobserved. However, after a while ]
overcame many little peculiarities that
kept me aloof from the charming society
OF the dear women.
Through the example, aid and encour-
agement of an old chum and room. mate
Charley B, | became initiated
broke the ice, and was going in" with
rush, when | was unfortunately,
must acknowledge-suddenly checked by
an event brought upon me by a contour
ded dog Ian event that deprived me OF
lovely wife, half dozen lovely babies
-probably-and a life of blissful happi
ness.
Think Of that, ye admirers Of the ca
nine race, and pity me; no, don't pity me-
but-exterminate the racel wipe them
from existence Husbands who have
lovely and confding wives; wives who
have afectionate and faithful husbands:
children who have devoting parents; low
ers who have the whole in expectancy
:" think of what | am now, and what
might have been"-if it had'n been foI
an aeeursed dog-and raise your voices
loud and In unison in favor of the forma
ton of a Dog DISCRIMINATING Associa
ton. I'll invest nv pile in it, But
to my very sad and never to- be forgotten
story.
My friend Charley had any quantity Of
lovely sisters and cousins, to whom he in
troduced me, and with whom | fell in
love-one of whom, should have said
one of the sisters. Mary was her name
Sweet namel An angelic possessof o.
that sweet musicl Could but those hap
ply days be re-called-could | but once
more gaze into those brilliantly black
eyes-could once more press to my pal
pitatng heart that classic form-could
- hold your horses r What am talk
ing about? never got SO far as this
suffice it to say, however, that | was " ur
to my neck" in love with Mary, and
fattered myself she smiled approvingly
on me.
What delicious sensation. one expert
ences, at times, when he is in love-dos
emit he? If man ever gets an idea 0
/ Heaven, it is about that time It's som,
years since | experienced its heavenly in
fuences; still, however, time has no
affaced its delicious recollection from
memory. Even now, when | think o
Mary, my rather aged blood seems t.
course more rapidly through my veins
giving new life and animation to nj
somewhat shaky frame. And then ole
recollections crowd upon my brain-th,
angelic face of Mary is before my eyes
and-the1 comes the horrid image of tina
| dog to dispel the enchanting illusion. &c
opt Avaunts We cursed brute
would attempt to paint picture 0
: Mary, if | was not fearful that my abili
ties as an artist would prove inadequat
in an effort to do justice to SO lovely
subject. She was, in my eye,,a concentra
ton of all that was beautiful. To ne, il
!. poetic language
She seemed goddess from the blest,
Descended with raven cloud
Of ringets. falling DER a breast,
Their goodness could but half enshroud.