Volcano weekly ledger., 1856-04-05
The Woman that put Her Foot in It.

The Lodge OF |. o. o. F., at Woodstown
determined TO have their Lodge room done
up clean and nice, and it was resolved unani-
mously that Mrs. X should be employed to
do the job.
After the meeting adjourned the guardian,
who knew the inquisitiye character of Mrs
K, procured billy goat, and placed him in
closet that was kept as a reservoir for the
secret things. He then informed the lady Of
the wishes of the Lodge, and requested her
to come early next morning, as he would
then be at leisure to show her what was and
what was not to be done.
Morning came, and with it Madame K,
with her broom, brushes, pals, tubs, &C.,
prepared and armed for the job, and found
the guardian waiting for her.
Now Madame said he, "Ill tell you
what we want done, and how we came to
employ you The brothers said it was diff
cult to get any body to do the job, and not
be meddling with the secrets in that little
closet; we have lost the key, and cannot find
il TO lock the door. | assured them that you
could be depended on
Depended on.' said she, i" guess can.
My poor dead and gone husband, who be-
onged to the Freemasons, or Antimasons, |
don't know which, used TO tell me all the
secrets of the concern, and when he showed
me all the marks the gridiron made when he
was initiated, and told me how they fixed
poor Morgan, never told a living soul to
this day; if nobody troubled your closet to
find out your secrets till do, they'll lay
there till they rot---they will"
a. thought so' said the guardian; and
now want you to commence in that corner,
and give the whole room decent cleaning,
and have pledged my word and honor for
the fidelity to your promise; now don't go
into that closet" and then left the lady to
herself.
No sooner had she heard the sound Of his
feet on the last step of the stairs than she
exclaimed" Don't go into the closetl I'll
warrant there is gridiron, or some nonsense,
just like the Antimasons for all the world,
III be bound. will Just take peep, and
nobody will be any wiser, as | can keep it to
myself
Suiting the action to the word, she stepped
lightly to the forbidden closet-turned the
button-which was no sooner done, than bah
went the billy goat, with spring to regain
his liberty, which came near upseting her
ladyship. Both started for the door, but it
was filed with implements for house-ceaning,
and all were swept clear from their position
down to the bottom Of the stairs
The noise and confusion occasioned By
such unceremonious coming down stairs,
drew half the town to witness Mrs KS ef-
forts to get from under the pile of pals, tubs,
brooms and brushes into the street
Who shonld be FIRST to the spot but the
rascally door-keeper, who, after releasing
the goat, which was a cripple for life and
uplifting the rubbish that bound the good
woman to the earth, anxiously inquired if
she had been taking the degrees
Taking the degreeslr exclaimed the lady
-" if you call tumbling from the top to the
bottom of the stairs, with the devil after you,
taking things by degrees, / have them, and if
you frighten folks as you have me, and hurt
them to boot I'll warrant they'll make as
much noise as did,
81 hope you did not open the closet,
Madame, said the door-keeper
"Open the closet? Eve ate the apple she
was forbiden! If you want woman to
do anything, tell her not to do it, and she'll
do it certain. / could not stand the tempta-
tion The secret was there l wanted to
know it. l opened the door, and out popped
the tarnal critter right into my face l
thought the devil had me, and / broke for
the stairs with the devil buttng me at every
jump fell over the tub and got down the
stairs as you found us, all in heap
" But, madam" said the door-keeper, you
are in possession Of the great secret Of the
Order, and must go upand be initiated, sworn
and then go in, in the regular way"
Regular wayw exclaimed the lady, "and
do you suppose am going near the tarnal
place again, and ride that ar critter without
bride or lady's saddle? No, never!
don't want nothing to do with the man that
rides it. I'd look nice perched on billy
goat-wouldd't | No, neyerl I'll never
go nigh it again. nor your hall nuther-if
can prevent it, no lady shall ever join the
Odd Fellows. Why, I'd sooner be Free
mason, and be broiled on gridiron as long
as fire could be kept under it,"
CovER, of the Grant Co. wis Herald.
has been writing an "0wed" to the Shang-
hais. The following is the first verse, which
is as much as our readers will be able to stand
at once:
Feathered giraffe, who lent you wingsg
Who furnished you those egs2
How could such everlasting things
As those, ,Icome out of eggsg
OK THE SEARcH--It is said that the man
who was so fortunate as to discover gramat-
ical error in newspaper, is now diligently
searching the road from this place to Stock
ton with confident expectations of being able