The Ashland union. [volume] (Ashland, Ashland County, Ohio) 1854-1868, 1856-05-07
A LAuaHABLE PREDIcAMENT,

In December, lS--, we were trave
. ing through one of the New Englar
towns in an old fashianed stage coac
with friend whose powers of makir
| fun from the slightest cause were man
fest from any passing object he chose {
attack. 1t was midnight, and as we Al
/ preached the village of R--d, he e
pied a mansion on top of small suga
loaf hill, close by the road. When W
arrived opposite, he asked the driver
stop few moments; the request wa
cheerfully complied with, although W
were almost freezing but what trick b
had in view none could guess.
The funny gentleman marched direct
ly up to the front door of the mansio
and knocked with his cane loud enoug
to wake up all the inmates. Immedi
ateiy a window sash was raised and ou
| popped a red night cap containing tn
head of the proprietor, which in alarm
exclaimed.
'Wait-what's the mattera What.
wanted at this time of night
Pardon me, sir, this intrusion but
have communication to make to you
personally; as the stage is waiting i'm.
patiently for me, please hurry down to
the door for one moments interview
The old gentleman's red night cap,
e,
with its owner in a garment curtailed
of its fine proportions, was almost im-
mediately at the door, politely bowling
to the funny stranger, who again apollo
gised for disturbing his slumber, and
thus exposing him to the chilly winds
of a December night.
my dear SIR interrupted Mr.. Night
cap, don't mention it, but pardon me
for appearing before you in the plight
in which you see me-
You are certainly very exeusable, and
especially SO as my great haste has
prompted this courteous response to my
call upon you
BE pleased to step into the house. as
notice some ladies in the coach are
attracted by my appearance.
Never mind them, dear sir. Your
finely located mansion has arrested the
attention of US all-it makes truly
beautiful appearance in the bright ECON
light. Speaking of the moon, brings to
my mind the question which has so re-
Gently agitated the scientific world, and
in which you have been interested, viz ;
Is this luminary inhabited, or is it not
inhabited. The telescopie'-
Excuse my interrupting sir, but al
low me to get a cloak, for / am now al
most frozen and'--
Ten thousand pardons dear friend,
but the stage is waiting for me and 1
must lcse no time, for all things in the
world, Time, that'-
ALLOW me to remind you, sir, that
you desired to make communication
to me, 1 am now ready to receive it.
sAh mel How unmindful am of du-
ty incumbent upon me, and which has
been SO long protracted, I must really
acknowledge.
'0blige me, sir, by coming directly to
the communication you wish to make
you must really excuse me, sir, for
my seeming prolixity, but the impor-
lance of the communication l wish to
make to you will prove that great prin-
ciple Of
sBut what Is is you wish to say to
me p
Certainly, sir, 1 am coming to the
point, but your unseemly interruptions
materially retard me in the nec sssary
expectations. You must certainly be
aware, sir, that in the commuu ltion of
momentous information a certain degree
of sircumlocution is actually necessary.
Now, sir, as an instance, the principle
of hydraulics-'
'To the ID with your hydraulics !
IF you have any communication to make
to me, make it,
well, sir, the communication is, that
the passengers in the coach, for whom l
nave the honor to be spokesman, have
unanimously arrived at the conclusion,
sfter deliberate discussion of the mer-
its and demerits of the case, that it is
possible for you to drain your cellar in
four different directions
You Internal scoundreli' shrieked
the astonished and infuriated proprie-
tor; IN teach you tick worth doz-
en- of this and he seized the funny gen.
tleman's cane who commenced hurried
retreat for the coach-the red nightcap
and the abbreviated white garment af-
ter him as fast as two sprangled shanks
-auld carry them.
= .he funny gentleman gained on
D1' y ;rmped into the coach,
DIS puls., :. oa.a mt in fuli.speed up
an adjoining ghiii,f with the 81 sss1 00un.
try gentleman, in a curtailed g. fnso. !.
;auttering in the breeze, in eold pursu.,
but whose hot imprecations against US
all were enough to stiae the mirth Of a
live yankee.
r A portable mill for grinding
and boiling -four, occupying tEenty-one