Richmond daily Whig. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1842-1861, 1856-05-07
RICHMOND WING.
HUMOROUS SELECTIONS

"rrOw gay to grave, IRON lively to severe.


TAks cAHK 90 YovR fRkscu.-one of the most ud
erss,on- took place long since la Pats,
The pastie- a Yankee, who had studied French
the ship he over aud the yarcon hotel Tie
hungry, and watched snSiou>ly the move
ment- at the garcoh ~ho putting things rights in
his room but the phase tor getting dinner wouldn't
TO his memory lie had la his Olrndoh that y q,
Jai~ hongryl we're the magic words to be used for
that purpose. AZ last, he thought he had them
"Garco-g" said he bcckoning with his finger.
The garco~ approached
"Oarcopg j. az an fssa.ss." Il have wife,
"Eu bien. monscur' answered the boy. II hope that
madam j. quite well
Tue Yankee, installing this for promise serve up,
waited ashie, but seeing that the boy did no, take
step luldll concluded TO try again
"Gsrcpg, said he beckoning before, Js 'ais faY,
saaar II tamous)
The 0drcon answered with a low bow: IAN English
monsieur, covered with glory and vent on With
his wosk.
The ,soond open sesame had failed The Yankee grew
desperate. st last he o being right
"Gas~os. \. ssis ,'aass Il wOman)
TITS made the ghrnoE open his eyes but guessing
In moment what was wanted; "Ah, monsieur waits 10
saw y 90 faiis
'.Ys-. thats IL" cried the relieved Yankc who now
tell. tie Thing good joke on himself
lGolc,, Lady. Book.
A SroRN E>tsaED-Somc wears ago a Cincinnati paper
received and printed the hrs, chapter ct What prOm,- ii
10 br thrilling romance, with the expectation of being
pto.id with the concluding portion mig be neeJ
The chapter ngenOcsy written. and concluded
by AVg the principal character suspended 10y the pi
falcons from the limb ct ree perpendicular puc
about be m'de concerning the continuation OF thc
aud ,hc fate OF the hero. Day after day the vctim
red publishers looked for the remaining chapters but ia
vain, they to hand. fIuiiug that they Lad
been add, and wishing 10 put stop In Ihe Jokes tcir
rontc upor,ic> cracking at their expense they
briefly concluded the story thus
Chapter ll.-COaclusor After hanging 10 the irei,i.
for four weeks, his pAntoOns gave aud
Charles Melville potd headong the yasung pr,ci.
pcc. lie Tell distance Of five miles and came d'Nn
with the small ct his back stake which Jared
he IN M ul- hftl
where he is present residing H. i engaged in tie
butchcring business aud is the father of large family
OF children.
How TO orkS BrvMvEs-"Talk ofopenrus oyster" aid
old Hurricane why, nothing easier II you only know
how.
Aud hows ho~s' inquired Starlight.
scotch suuils, au>wred old Hurricane very sentent
ou~lS Scotch snuff Bring little o it ever 50 near
their noses and they n sn their lids Of
81 know genius observed Mr.. Karl who has bet
ten llln lie spreads the biyavrs a circle him
self ia the entire, and begins spinning warn. Some
times its adventure in Mexico sometimes legend of
his loves, sometimes marvellous stock operation ia W all
street A. he proccei- the natives get interested:
by they cape with astonishment the tremendous
aud dircul whoppers which poured FORTH and they
cape, my friend whips them oui peppers them, AMI .~al-
lows them.
..ThatIl do" said Starlight with long sigh II wish
welaG bu.he OF Mlponds here They'd open easy.
~. u. JtcdyUtc.
Has rug TuNG Lrr.-A gawky bAckwoods boy,
ono, AT iepol of the Georgia railroads aud
OF course deeply Interested in gazing-io the first
a, the mighty 1ins' Finally he gotinside of car AMI
Will, iniulgiue his unbOunded curiosity, the whistle
screamed bell rang, and the horse began TO
surg. al Z of Two forty ''Oh lordy," shouted
the bow stop it, stop it, amt agwine; and bursting
forward he opened the door and jumped the plat
form Just the train crossing deep cavcrnuu
looking gorge truewOrk, and seeing the earth aud
tops beneath him, he tainted aud fell Directly lee
too aud looking up the conductor who stood 10y
him he exclaimed with deep sigh, "Oa ordco stranger
has tie thing in."
SIR CHARLIE, NAPtER.-Sr Charles Napier the conInan
der the Baltic fleet in the present war, Is
member OF Parliament lie recently spoke in tue iou-e
OF Commons upon Capt Schobels motion on naval prom
tom aud is reported that alter the gallant admiral had
worked himself up into aury with the supposed unreaso-
nbcncss Of his opponents he began sentence ia tes u-
parliamentary words-"Why, dom it, Mr.. Speaker
The House roAred Mt this s,ilorhke mpetuUsty but it
ELECTED grave cry OF Order order from the Speaker.
A Pos rRoN Gas. ,s.-Dirng the debate in the SEN.
ate Monday the lOth in reference 10 the appropriation
oi S300J,D 900 Tor Notifications, Gen. Cas- alluded m
corpulcnt CURE ia the following playful The
gcnein, ir, Tennessee speaks OF a. being Jiycn-,
sirti- senators language, not mne sii, Yet take Ill,
liberty of assuring, docking down at his vast cOpOroy
OF assuring linn, sit: that he is mistaken Great laugh
ter
oxE ny PgsNrcE's-When the editor OF Mississippi
paper threatened, in print TO put full stop each
the cye- ni the editor OF the Louisville Journal Prentice
replied While lac is putting ull stop eye
will put his in plrcnthesis.' 1t i hard scItu the
advantage Oi Prentice.
SEVENTEEN THINGS
In which Young people render themselves impote:
/. Loud laughing
q Reading when others talking.
8 Cutting fuger nails in company.
4. Leaving meeting before it closed
o. Whispering III me, ting.
u. Gazing at strangers.
2. Leaving a stranger without n seat.
s. want ut REVERENCE for older persons.
8. Re,dng alone in company without being asked.
10. Rec wing present without manifestation
OF gratitude;
H. Missing yourself the topic Of conversation
u. Laughing at the mistakes of others
81. king others ia company.
H. Corecsn; older persons than yourself especial
your parents
10 To 80 nm 'nce talking before others through.
lG Answering questions when put 10 others
II Commencing % eat ~ ,DIra grt the tab
Sum other things n which very many persons rcnd
themselves extremely impoItc.
l. Smoking in Editors Sinctum, Dentists oiiic
ladies parlor any where else.
Chewing tobacco and eectng the juice upon the
carpet
3 Making use of prcfU'e language in cor.
versston at any other time
a ID n 70 A -