The Ashland union. [volume] (Ashland, Ashland County, Ohio) 1854-1868, 1856-03-26
THE UNcLAD HoRsEMsN.
sr MA,on JOSEPH ,Oxrs.

| zTTEos 1a - zsleF5 L. r1
: Absolem Nippers was widower
aud one of the particularest men, per
: haps, that ever lived though some peo.
pie said that when his wife was alive, he
used to dress as common as Geld hand;
didn't use to take no pains with himself
at all. nhis settlement, he had mon
s,rous bad name, particularly among the
: womep, who used to say that he didn't
allow his wife more than one. dress =
year, and as for new shawl or bonnet,
the poor woman didn't know nothing
about such things Every body noticed
how he spruced up about ak weeks af-
ter Mrs Nippers died, and how be went
to church regular on Sunday. But they
didn't have any c nfidence in his reli-
gion, and used to say he only went TO
show his new suit of mourning and to
ngle the gals Old Mrs Rogers hated
him like poison, ana said that she be-
lieved his oor wife died broken hearted;
and as for, his pretending to be sorry
about it, that was all sham, for she
could see plain enough at the funeral
that he had one eye in tbcg grave and the
other on the gals, that were there, try
irg to pick out of them q wife. s
! With such a character among the wo.
men, it aint to be supposed that he stood
any sort of chance of getting another
Mrs. Nippcrs near home; and whether
he was as bad to his first as they said
he was or not, one thing vas certain, he
had to look abroad for some one to ell
her place
Mr.. Nirpers vas very lucky in find.
ing gal just to bis mind, what lived
about ten miles from his plantation.
Nancy Parker was rich, and though she
wasn't very young nor very handsome,
she belonged to Mr.. Nipper's church,
and filled his eye exactly; SO he sot in
courtirg her with all his might. Ten
miles was a good long ride, andEas he
] was very economical man, he used to
ride over to old Mr. Parker's plantation
every Sunday morning, aud go toehureI
with them, and ride home-in the cool of
the evening" In that way he managed
to kill two birds with one stone TINT
is, to advance the prospects Of his hap
piness on this earth, and in the world to
come, at the same time, without losing
any of his week day time.
A ride of ten miles on hot Sunday
morning, over dusty road, is rery apt
to soil gentleman's dry goods, and
make him and his horse very tired. Mr.
Nippcrs didn't mind the fatigue so much
as his horse, but in matter such as he
had in hand, it was very important that
he should make as &C cd an impression as
possible So he adopted plan by which
he was able 10 present himself before
the object of his affections in order
with his Sunday coat as clean, ard his
blooming ruffles as fresh aud neat as if
they had just come out of band box,
this was happy experiment, aud what
nobody but widowerlover would eysr
dream of He used to start from home
with his new coat and clean shirt tied
up in pocket handkerchief, aud after
riding within quarter of a mile of Mrs
Parker's plantation, he would turn off
into .thicket of chickapin bushes,
where nobody could see him, and there
make his rural toilet.
One bright Sunday morning Mr.. Nip,
pers had arrived at his dressing ground.
1t was an important occasion. Every
thing was promising, aud he had made
up his mind to "pop the question" that
very day. There was no doubt in his
mind that he would return home an en-
engaged msp! and he was reckoning over
to himself the value of Miss Naney's
plantation and niggers, while he was set
ting Oh his horse making his accustomed
charge of dress.
lie had dropped his reins on his
horses neck. what was brousing about,
making up his last nights scanty feed
from the bushes in his reach, and kick
ing and stamping at such flies as was on
him.
"I'll 6x the business this time" said
| Mr.. Nippers to himself :. Iii bring the
thing to point before / go home to
night" said he rs he united the hand
kerchief with his clean clothes, and
| spread them on the saddle bow.
:. Wo, Ball." said he; I have only got
to say the word. and-rro," said he to
his horse who wis rearing and kicking
about, wo! you cussed old fool.-and
the business is settled just as slick as
! fallin' off logi'
He was drawing his shirt over his
| head when Ball gave sudden spring
| what like to made him loose his balance.
Wo," said he-but before he could get
his arms out of the sleeves, Bali was
wheeling and kicking like wrathat some
4 thing that seemed to trouble him be-
hind. Down went the clean clothes,
shirt and all. en- the ground. Blast
y