Meigs County telegraph. [volume] (Pomeroy [Ohio]) 1848-1859, 1856-03-18

clkHS WAN hi6i HltlSl Ulunl TuHkUeSS. IHe
following ske,ch Of a lat, speech delivered
by him must have puzzled his opponent 10
reply 10. Ii is exceedingly appropriate to
the times:
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN:--l rise--bul
there lis no use in telling you lhal--yol
Know iha, am up us well as do. am a
modest man, very. bui have neverlost
pickayune by itin my life. Being ascarce
commodity among candidates, | thought
would mel.siQn il, Cor fear, If ! did no, you
tdd'6 never fenE X. ?
I@ Oandiddtes are ge6ctaiiv considered as
nuisances, but they are the poli,csl men in
The world, shake sou by the hand, ask you
htw's your family; what's the prospects Of
crops, &c.; an3 am the polilesI man in
the State. Davy Crockett says the poiisesl
man he ever saw was one who, when he
asked man 10 drink, lurBel his back SO
that he nigh, d,ink as much us he pleased,
! bea, thai all hollow, give man chance
TO drink .wico if he wishes, for no, only
,urn around, but shut both eyes | am nol
only The pollest man. but the best. You
ought 10 see me shaking hauds with ihe
pumphandle and pendulum, The oross-cut
and .wiggle.waggle. I understand .ho
science perfectly, and if any OF the coun
~ candidates wish instructions they must
Gull on me. gG ls it ~. sEl
Fellow -ci,izens, was born-If / hadn'.
been | would not have been candidale-
bu, am not going 10 tell you where; twas
in Mississippi, bu, twas on the righ. side Of
the negro Tine: yet thal'sLo compliment, as
negroes a,e bonn on the same side. started
IN i Q world as poor as church mouse.
YET | came honestly by poverty, for I in.
heried il; and II ] did Start poor, no man
can say bu, what hOl! my own rcmarsa-
Bile well. ftr sprlh n nfoL .zr 4
Candidates generally tell you, "If you
think am qualified, &c." Now | don'l
ask youl thoughts, ! ask your votes: Why
there's nothing 10 think Of, except to waich
and sec llha, Swans name is moi on your
ticket. II SO, think to scratch i, off and pu,
mine on-l am cer,ain that am compe
tent, and who ough, 10 know better Than
do! Nobody. l will allow thu, Swan is
The best Auditor in The Smle---ha, is, lill |
am e!eoled. lhen-perhups ills no, proper
for me 10 say anylbicg more. YeI us un
honest man, am bound 10 say Iha, believe
IFS grievous sin TO hide anything from my
fellow c;lizes: therefore. | say i,'s my pri
vale opinion publicly expressed, that In
make the best Auditor in the United STATES
'Tis not for honor iha, ! wish TO be A ldi.
tor, for in my county ! was offered an Office
that was all honor (Coronerl which re.
spectfully declined. The AUDITORS office is
worth SIS 900 u year, and | am in for i, like
thousand OF brick. To show my good.
ness Of heart III make this off r 10 my
competitor. ! am sure Of being elecied,
and he will lose something by The canvass;
therefore, | am willing 10 divide equally
with him aud make these Two offers: III
lake the salary aid give him the honor, or
he may have Iho honor and Iii lake tie
salary,
In the way Of honors, | have received
quite enough TO satisfy me for life. went
OUT to Mexico, a,e pork and beans, slept in
the rain aud mud, and salowed everything
except live Mexicqns. If ordered 10 "g -"
went; 'charge," chorged; break for the
ckappruep you had better believe beat q
quarter nag in doing my duty.
My competitor, Swan! is u bird OF gllden
plu mage, who has been swimming for
years in the AUDITORS pond at 50 900 year
Il am for rolalion--l want 10 rotate him
oul, and rotate myself in. There is plenty
of room for him 10 swim outside The pond;
therefore, pop in your vots for me. will
pop him oul and pop myself in.
am for division Of labor, Swan says
has 70 work all the ume, with his nose down
10 the pubic grindstone. Four years must
have ground il TO pint. Poor fellow, the
public ought no, TO insis, on having his mug
ground clean off, | have large, full
grown and well blown nose, red as beet
and tough as sole.eaher. rush to the
post Of duty. effer il up as a sacrifice;
clap il on the grindslone, lellow.citizens I'LL
boiler enough, and ,hni will be sometime
first, for | would hang like grim death to a
dead African. ~ & ''s 4'f'a
Times most out Well like 10 have
forgoueR 10 tell you my name. Its Daniel
--ior short, Dan. MOI handsome name,
for my parents were poor people, who lived
where The quality appropriated oil the nice
names. therefore, they had TO take what
was left, and divide around amuhg US; bul Il
Is as handsome as AND. Russell. Re
member, every one cl you, thar i. is no,
Swan. ~ pf8 aaoi Ffot hof a'Snt
| am sure TO be elected; SO one and all
great and small, shou aud TALL, when yor
come down TO Jackson a(ler the election
stop al the AUDITORS Office; the laich suing
alwayshangs out; enter without knocking
lakc Off your things aud make yourself q
home. ttsi f # sAFfS2' s,f
lie HAS TAKEN NE oFF.--One evening
in London, Madanwas sitting in coffee
house with some Of his gay companions
Al loss lor amusement, they proposed &c
him 10 60 and hear Mr.. Wesley, who wa,
preaching in the neighborhood, and 10 re,urr
and take him Of" As he entered III,
place, Mr.. Wesley, was announcing wild
grea, solemnlly his text, prepare 10 mee
Thy Cod The young burrlsIer was ares
Ted. AS Wesley proceeded 10 exhorI hi
hearers toimmedao repentance, a strange
awe came over Mandun's heart. When III,
service was over, he returned TO the cofo,
ho Use.
"Well," exclaimed his boon companion ,
! who bv this time had become impatient fo