Smyrna times., 1856-09-03
Uncle Peters Opinion of Girls,
by APOLLO.

by APOLLOs
"rll tell You, boys this 'ere runnin' arter
gals amt what It's cracked up to be. I've had
a little experience in that line in my day, |
have. A true gIrl is about as skeerce an arti-
Gle as Wall street honesty, and that's decided
ly below par. AS long as feler's got the tin
and can treat, he's some but Jest wait till the
ballast gets low, and you will hear some of the
nsinuatons. This courtin' is just as bout a
riskey business as dealing at Parkhamss.-
feller don't draw blank, I'll admit, but he
must Draw the pile, or he'll not get the stakes.
mind the time I'd smashed any feller's face
that would a told me that Betsey Baker wasn't
pirty but have changed my mind some since.
was sucked in with that gal the deucedest,
| I'll admit but since it's all over, I'll tell you
feIers all about it, provided you don't say
ho;hin'.
When was young and natural consequence
rather verdant in courtn' business, met Bet
sey Baker ataa apple-bee at old Deacon Smiths,
near Bangor. She was dressed up to kill, and
| powdered up till she look most darned nice
lrd /, being as green as tuply hoching in June,
was fool enough to think them sleepy eyes she
Nas casting at me were caused by that called
love at first sight," and the consequence was
returne them ar glances with palpitatin'
heart.
! By-and-by we got done with the apples, and
begun playin'. The first the steps-la sakcs
you ought to seen me iumpin' around like
parchd pea on a drum head with that 'ar ga
and when we got to playin' Joggle," dd'n
we joggle alongi-well no we did nothn' else
Somebody made a move to adjourn abou
half past ten and | asked Betsey to accept thu
2 angle of my elbow, and started for home, think
n in all the time that the spOste Scrapeshe
must have been tight or misinformed, one o
the other, when he sad The course of trut
love never die run smooth" Well, too
that gal to all the circus shows-to see the ele
y fnt and the rhiHoserus and treated her to ice
J.. cream on all occasioHs--never once thinkn
that she never thought any thing of me, an
only pulling the wool over my eyes.
o Well, |, fool like, spent the most of my hart
G earned dimes for Betsoy, and was beginnin'
be hard. up,- when a young lawyer stuck u
II his shingle p Bangor, and | soon found ol
= , that it was highly probable that | would hav
l. a rival in the courtin' line, In fact hear
N that this limb of the law was seen prowlin
about Solomon Bakers house. This kinds
,r riz my dander; so | started for Betsey's til
next Saturday night; and on entering four
her alone. Well, | never was much for US
= less ceremony, SO sat down in the big rock
;e chair, and said in the language of the poe
/ VINO, Win OuIstretched arms, exclaimed, Ion
to my arms ye greasy fltters!"
This was the way [ often addressed her wht
wanted her to sit on my lap, and never thong
nd but she would do 1t agin, as she had often b
er fore. But She didn't; but with turned !
lie nose, said:
Mr.. Sanders, in future do not wish
as keep company with any person who uses u
nd kind of language to me.''
!. This kinder skeered me, but i soonrecover
I'D sufficiently TO make use of an expression III
j ended with and, and then slid. b.a.s 1..t1s
Il | soon found that she had been wanting
sack me for some tune, but could never get 1
10 chance until this time But maybe you thi
Iii thougbt Of stretching a, hemp or strapgli
!, my, with bologna, sausage ea.H you do y
~ are d, cidedly mistaken, for in the Language
SYhe y: 4 81 mid J4n q ,31ahBug4 sRot 9a
IN ]" only takes horn, observing lether wen
a. You see it amt girl Tflshion to be true. .
saJ will ave off as / began-I will tay true q
POI are like Wal steertD honesty-2aa dnced sea
his art c.e."- Yankee PriDateerase asd - -"