The North-Carolinian. [volume] (Fayetteville [N.C.]) 1839-1861, 1856-02-23
NIGHT WITH THE KNOW-NoTIIINGs;
Or Uncle Jake's Experience.
BY His NEPHEW

| BY HIS NEPnEw
| Thar never better dmcrat than Uncle
Jake Rodgers on ycartl, alters uttendin barbe-
cues and spcechifyins every chance, and like the
| arson could give a reason for the faith that
| IS IN him--he has alters been looked up to as a
sort of oracle in perli,ical matters, and noes
! ihe history ofthe United States Bank and its
| orfnl iniquties, the tariff and its oppressors
| the distribution of the pnblick lands and all
/ them measures the old wings used to trv to fix
| upon the people so hard. In fact, Uncle Jake
was dmcrat from the top of his he'd to the
sole of his feet, and from side all through
| to the other, and Aunt Nancey, his wife, wa
|jast as ramhnnctious on the subject as himself
Now Mr. Eastman, I don't like to exnost
Uncle Jake, bat the thing is SO good, I'll have
to tell you all about it.
Last summer thar cum into our settlement a
nice young man, sent ont, as l larnt, from your
place to make Non otlins but he didn't let us
all no what he cum for at fust. Howsomever,
he linked in quite lot on cm, principally
wings, and | larnt that some on 'em intended
tryin thar hands Uncle Jake.-Thinks |,
old fclIers you'll be barkin up the wrong tree,
sertn but the fust thing [ noed they got hold
Of the old man. treated him, told him that the
dimcrats all jinin on 'em-tfat it warnt
no whig trick, nor nuthin' of that sort-that
the Pope of 'roam' was a cumin here to use up
our government, to make preests of all the
boys and nuns Of all the gals--that all the
other denominations wud have to cave in, and
wear crosses and kiss the Popes big toe--that
the no-nothins war goin to stop all these evil
things-goin to regenerate the land, and bring
things back to the days of Gincril Jackson
that Gov. Jackson's folks war all fur 'em, tooth
and toe nail and so with one thing and anoth-
er the fnSt thing Uncle Jake nocd he was'a
regiar ringtaled no-nothin. They dun it to the
old man at ight and arter he started hum, and
as he went along his mind was full of misgivins,
how could lie face the old 'oman? What wud
Gineril Jackson say if he was alive? How
could he meet his old dimicratic friends agin?
and he suddenly rccolccted that the Union,
the old watchman on the tower of our Perliti-
cal Zion, as he used to call your paper) was
opposed to it. All these things began to work
in Uncle Jake's mind, till by the time he got
home he was in powerful SWIFT.
He found Aunt Nancy sitting up fur him,
and Uncle Jake she was ashamed to
meet aforc.
We'll Jake sss she, what on yearth has
kept you out SO late to night? for Uncle Jake
was very regular in his habits.
why Naucey, | been :ound-attendin q
mcctin tonight ses he, quite hcStatn like.
AVlaat kind Nv mcetin,' ses She.
WHY sort w perlitIcal mectIn ses he,
slverin all over, fur he powerful oncasy
by this time.
Well ses she, if you've been tryin to he'd
these no-nothins aint got no more to say, fur
you couldn't be in better business, fur Iarn
that snm calls themselves dimicrats have
jinctl 'cm. | don't like 'em no how, Jake, fur
they don't cum out open and above board, but
are pokn round at night in alleys and dark
places; but I thank the Lord you aint one of
'cm, fur no | couldn't live with of 'em to
my life. But- what makes you look so,
Jacob! are you sick? Bless my life if you ant
got chill you, and your hands are as cold
as ice, What's the matter, jake?
'Nuthin mnch,' ses he, 4 don't feel very we'll
tonight, old oman, and I'll go to bed,' sayin
he slipt into bed, and the old oman arter him.
Bmeby Uncle Jake, arter tossn and rollin
about, gifts to sleep, and dremt that all his
Dimicrat friends he used to be with so much
wouldn't have nuthu to do with him, and that
he couldn't no longer vote his old ticket for
his old friends and his old principles, and he
Groaned in spirit.
Aunt Nancy walked him mp, skeercd to doth,
an Unkle Jake had to out with the hole thing.
Aunt Nancy jumped out bed and declared
she couldn't stay thar, that nonuthun couldn't
cum nigh her. Unkle Jake at last told her
eff she would forgive him, he'd go early in the
mornin and git out of the thing, but she told
BIN no, she couldn't stand him till mornin, and
directly Unkle Jake hauls on his close, and
went out and got the President and sum more
on 'em together, and swore he must git out
afore mornin kill sum body one They let
him out-and when he got loose, he sung he
shouted, he danced and capered like boy-he
run home and like to a squeezed Aunt Nancy
to deth she, good old soul, was mitily riIcd
about it an powerfully distressed but scaled
his pardon with kiss of forgiveness, all let
by-gones be by-gones.
One man soon arter limited to Unkle Jake
that he heerd he was a no-nuthn when he
pitched into the felIer like to waoped
him to deth; since that time nobody has ever
accused Uncle Jake Of being no-,iuthin.-
Tichs5urg Sentinel.