Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1856-02-11
EVENING STAR.
THE OLD CLOCK.


THE OLD CLOCK.
Two Yankee wags, one summer day,
stopped at q tavern on their way,
Supped, frolicksd late retired 70 rest,
And woke to breakfast on the best.
The breakfast over, Tom and win
Sent for the landlord and the bill
Will looked II over, "very right
But hold what wonders meet my sight!
Tom the surprise is quite q shock ."-
What wonder, where 9p-'' The clock the
ciocA ---.r 'I.r -.r
Tom and the landlord I'm amaze
Stared N the clock In stupid gaze,
And for a moment neither spoke;
Atlast the landlord silence broke
"You mean the clock that's ticking there,
/ see no wonder / declare;
Though, maybe, II the truth were told,
IT'S rather ugly-somewhat old;
Yet time it keeps to half q minute;
But, II you please, what wonders In IT."
"Tom, don't you rocol!ect," !" said VIII,
"The clock al Jersey, near the mill,
The very image Of this present
With which won the wager pleasant
VIII ended with a knowing wink
Tom scratched his head and tried to think.
"Sfr, begging pardon or enquiring,n
The landlord said, with grin admiring,
"What wager was it," r..|a :. ..H.
'sYou remember
Ii happened, Tom, In last December,
In sport bet Jersey Blue
That 1t was more than he could do,
In keeping with the pendulum,
Repeating, till one hour should close,
Still, Here she goes, dnz there she goss'-
He lost the bet in half minute -
"well, II would, the deuce is in IT,,
Exclaimed the landlord; TRY me yet
And fifty dollars be the bet !"
agreed, but we will play some trick
To make you Of your bargain sick :"
"I'm up to thato' ...-.
s'Don't make us wait,
Begin. The clock Is st king eight.n
He sests himself, and left and right
His finger wags with all its might,
And hoarse his voice, and hoaIser grows,
Wth-"Here she goes, and there she goes"
g. Hold - said the Yankee, "plank the readyn,
The landlord wagged his finger steady,
While his LEFT hand, as well as able,
Conveyed purse upon the table.
" Tom, with the money let's bs ofl''-
This made the landlord only scoff;
He heard them running down the stair,
But was not temp ID from his chair;
Thought he, 'The fools! I'n bite them vet
So poor trick shsn't win the betn
And loud and loud the chorus rose
OF 60 Here she goes-dEd there she goes 90
While right and left his finger swung,
In ke ping to his clock and tongue.
His mother happened in, to sse
Her daughter; " where is Mrs. B?
When will the come, as you suppose!
Son,n
Here she soss-axd there she goesn
" Here?--where ?"-the lady in surprise
His finger followed with her eyes;
Son, why that steady gaze and sad
Those words-that motion-are you mad
But here's your wife-perhaps she knovs
And"-
Here she goes and there she goss!"
His wife surveyed Kim with alarm,
And rushed to him and seized his arm;
He shook her Of, and to and fro
HIS fingers persevered TO 60, e..
While curied his very nose with Ire,
That she against him should conspire,
And with more furious tone arose
The " Here she goes-and there she goes"
{ Lawks!'' screamed the wife, oI,m in a wh,rl,
Run down and bring the little girl;
She Is his darling, aud who knows
Here she go-s-dnd there she sossw
6. Lawks he is mad what made him thus?
Good Lord what win become Of us
Run for a observation-disclosures
For Doctor Brown and Doctor Dun,
And Doctor Black, and Doctor White,
And Doctor Grey, with all your might.n
The doctors came, ard looked and wondered,
And shook their heads, al paused and DOE dersd,
TIL one proposed he should be bled,
" No -leeched you mean"-the other said
81 Clap on a blister, ~ roared another
f" "No-cup phim'-"No-trepan him, brother ~
A sixth would recommend a purge,
The next would an eme ic rye.
The eighth, just come from dissection,
His verdict gave for an injection;
The last produced box Of pills,
A certain cure for earthly ills;
GO had patient yesternight,''
Quoth he, "and wretch ed was her plight,
And az the only means to save her,
Three dozen patent pills gave her,
And by Tomorrow | suppose
That
"Htr. she sOss-axd there 81. goes"
4" ou are all fools, ;" the lady said,
I" The way is, just to shave his head.
Run, bid the barber come anonn--
6. Thanks, mother" thought her clevsr son;
&c Yox help the knaves that would have bit me-
But all creation shan I outwit me-
Thus to himself, while to and fro
His finger perseveres to 60,
And from bis lip no accent flows
But &C Here she goes-and there she goes"
The barber came" Lord bless me what
A queerish customer I've got,
But we must do our best to save him l
So hold him, gemman, while shave him 10
But here the doctors interpose-
g A woman never''- -.
- g There she goss!'
g A woman is no Judge Of physic,
Not even when her baby is sick,
q A purge you mean''-'sI say a clyster''-
&C No-cup him. Leech him" "Pils. /
pills 20
And all the house the uproar fills.
Chat means that smile! what means that shiver /
The landlords limbs with rapture quiver,
And triumph bTightens up his face
His finger yet shall win the race
The clock Is on the stroke OF nine
nd up he starts. IT'S mine tits mine! ~
's What do you mean!'
n..- 81 mean the ffty
never spent an honr so thrifty;
But you, who tried to make me lose,
60, burst with envy If you choose.
But how is rhis where are theyin
W -- ..s-.. "Who?n 81.
The gentlemen-I mean the two,
Came yesterday-are they belowgn
: They galloped of an hour ago"
. Oh, purge me blister shave and bleed
+ or, hang the knaves, Pm mad indeed"