Spirit of the age. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1849-1865, 1856-01-02

"cause why p if you do you'll very soon
fnd that your little craft has run into the
Dismal Swamp Of my vengeance, and |
venture to say, no one will volunteer to be
responsible for its jeopardized bulk.
How do you like the taste Of that new
beverage, you've taken to lately? l mean
the liquid in that bottle you speak Of. I
see you stumbled over it, nightly l reck-
on it must 60 down rather hard yet. 'Tis
said that aooter is a dangerous element, but
/ venture to predict you'll feel better aohen
you get used to It
Mr.. N. That lady, Sallie, is beautiful
one-is rich, handsome and talented, but
she don't come up to my standard Of what
a woman should be, for she hasn't the real
stuff in her, that | discover in another
The fact is, sweet Sallie, kinder, sorter
like you-like you well-do upon my ,cord,
Sallie, but if am correctly informed, you
are soon to be taken, by promising son
of the South (horrors seize him y to his
home, where you are to preside as mistress
and be his partne, for life Come now,
sweet Sallie, sit down and give me good,
long, sober kind of letter-a real natural
letter, and tell me, Sallie, if you like me-
Ard for heavens sake be easy with that
pen of yours don't slay me in cold blood,
because you see, cry for quarter, and am
coming to.
Miss S. Pray be good enough to inform
me who said | was going to be bound in
Hymen's silken bands? It's a giant fib
that hasn't an inch of terra firm to sup
port itself upon, and consequently must
inevitably topple over and gravitate to-
wards the land of its nativity, deep. down
below, and find in its swift descent, that
Jordan is hard road 7 Can't have a
spark without getting in blaze myself,
I'd like to know? Bless me- I've no
more idea Of being Gagged birdie,' than
Of going up to Hardscrabble to freeze. But
you talk about liking me vastly; and now
before | give loose reins to my fancy and
go wandering, everlastingly, among the
mountains Of New England, sighing like
furnace after my amorous swain, l want
to know if you've a Gulliver or Lllipu-
tiam? Are you SO tall that you have to
get up on ladder to take off your hat, OF
so short that you 60 down in the cellar tc
put your hand in your pocket because il
you are, you'll suit, just right, for it woulc
take some one that did things rather ou
of the usual order, to entrap me. They've
been trying it, row, ten years, and ever,
time, they missed it precisely where the,
did before for na0trinpony, have heart
say, is like paddy's mustard, when he erie,
because his daddy was hung, good man
years ago, and another poor sinner, misle
by his assertion, tried spoonful of tn
good stuff and wished Pat No l, ha,
been hung when his daddy was!
Mr.. N. Will you neOer be serious Fo
heavens sake, my dear Sallie, put on you
sober cap-brush away those unseeml
cobwebs of levity, 'garnish your craniul
with soberness, and then put it through
Is, er aecess'tote rel, you must write wit
the point of dagger dipped in fluid {
gall-lf you must use a poor mortal uE
with your sarcastic pen-if you cannt
write in your former vein, to me, for hea
yen's sake stop! | give in Hold hold
Write insmediateIy, dear darling, and don
hash up dish of spicy, peppery 6bs, fc
I've got enough Of such dabs, and prof.
ably you have. You know [ think hea
of you, sweet Sallie, and SO would be ST
rious in what | say.
Miss S. You think heap of me, swet
Salie.' precisely; knew it would come
. that, 1t always does! honor your sweet cal
dor tremendously, to prove which, | mea
to comply with your reasonable request, an
give you sound, serious aud 'natu ra
discourse. But before | set sail over I'll
E deep still waters Of sense and reason, fer tt
green pastures of erudition smiling beyon
you will be so good as to allow me ust or
significant remark, and that is-if you al
only like the old cat that rolled himself
the four-tub, thinking by his clean coat,
play the mschiefw with the poor, unsuspeetir
mice, when they came to nibble at the seen
. ingly good feast,you'll be just as much mi
taken as if you never had set such trap
catch this correspondent, Pm very much
clined to think You see Pm little lii
; the wise rat that couldn't be induced to b
l lleye that no harm would come of it, shou
, he have the temerity to approximate tn
: big white heap : or better still, I'm thin
ing with one Of old, can anything got
come out of Nazareth But to end this, l
, just add the finally brethren, if you do
coy me, by your make believe, into the u
usual habit of talking sensibly, and then tn
around and make fun of my Personshi
l give you fair warning won't stand it, b
retrograde from my reform state, with asto
: lshing rapidity, and off with your hea
buckingham in the very next contest !!
: ffenz garde Mons lear!