The south-western. [volume] (Shreveport, La.) 1852-1870, 1856-12-03


Conceit is the most contemplate, and one
the most odious qualities in the world. It
vanity driven from all other shifts, and force
to appeal to itself for admiration. An author
whose play has been condemned over night
feels paroxysm of conceit the following morn
ing Conceit may be defined restless over
weening, petty, obtrusve, mechanical delgh
in her own qualifications, without any rcferenc,
to their real value or to the appreciation of 9th
ers, merely because they are ours, and for nc
other reason whatever 1t is the extreme O
A minister of the ''kirk'' of Scotland once
family on the sabbath. So pausng in the stea.
dy and somewhat monotonous flow of his ora.
tory, he broke forth with this personal address,
sharp and clear, but very deliberate, "Susan!''
Susan opened her eyes in twinkling, as did
all the other dreamers in the house, whether
asleep Or awake. ''Susan, | didna marry ye
for your wealth, SIM we hae'd none! And l
dinna marry you for your beauty; that the hail
congregation can see. And if We have no grace,
| have made but sair bargain!''
A bevy Of little children were telling their
father what they got at school. The eldest got
grammar, geography, arithmetic, &c. The
next got reading, spelling, and definitions.
"And what do you get my little soldier?"
said the father to a rosycheeked little fellow
who was at that moment slyly driving ten
penny nail into door panel.
"Me!-oh, gets readin', spelin', and spank
ingsr'
A yankee is self-denying, self-rclying, and
into every thing prying. He is a lover of piety,
propriety, .notoriety, and the temperance soci-
ETY.. He is a Dragging, dragging, striving,
thriving, swapping, jostling. wrestling, must
cal, poetical and criminal sort of a character,
whose manifest destiny is to spread civilization
to the remotest corner of the earth.
"My dear Amelia" said dandy, ri have
long wished, for this opportunity, but hardly
dare speak now, for fear you will reject me;
but love you; say you will be mine! Your
smiles would shetland then he came to
pause; "your smiles would she'd land then he
paused again. :'Never mind the wood shed,'
says Amelia; Ego on with the pretty talk
The proprietor of an engineering establish
ment, in advertising the disposal of his proper {
ty, few days ago, announced that his premi-
SEES contained ga large stock of patent machine
ry, nearly completed, which, if carried out,
would be of the greatest advantage to the in =
coming tenant" Candid this, certainly
A gentleman from the rural districts, latter
vainly endeavoring to solve the mystery of 1
chafng Dishes said, s'Look a-here, waiter, !
bring me some oysters, but have 'em boiled Il
down stairs. | don't want none of them darn a
ed little cook stoves" tt
julius, dar's gwine to be big race to- a
day. Wot is it Sam? Why, de man dat rides a. a.
de nightmare has challenged the telegraph to
trot fifty miles before wagon. Well, I'm 90
ing to have race myself What for? Sweep +
stakes, to be sure. !
The judicious Hooker used to say, if had
no other reason and motive for being religious,
would earnestly strive to be so for the sake
If my aged mother, that | might requie her
are of me, and cause the widows heart to -
ing for joy.
Whatever we may think of woman's right /
o vote and legslate, there can be no disputing
Ter right TO bare arms-and the pretter the
etter and more irresistible. This is right 4,
escended from mother Eve. -
A chicken fancier is trying to get up new
ace of pullets by crossing weather cocks with i
hanghai hens. We shall watch his success
18th much interest," This is progressive age
'opewalks will yet be made to trot Z
Speaking OF family discipline, old Roger re- A
arked that Mr.. Peppercase, his neighbor re- II
nded him of a game of ball; he was eter
ally batting them, and they were always
awling. =
"Mr. Smith, you said that you boarded six -
onths at the Columbus hotel, did you foot .
'ur bll?' ~
mo slr-but 1T amounted to the same thing, ~ =
e landlord footed me- -
There is nothing formidable about death but Y
e consequence of it, and these We ourselves boa
n regulate and control The shortest life is box
,g enough if it lead to better, and the long for
life is too short if it do not II
"The child is stId to be father to the man. and IL
I'M never SO forcibly reminded of this" saws pipe
stockjobber, s'as when | see -, ~
= flying kite -
An ardent Shaksperean has written nam ever
let on the play of Hamlet, called, can at m
apt to ascertain whether the queen were an ~
'esory, before the fact, in the murder of her Il
It husband" com
why did you set your cup of tea on the m
III, Mr.. James?' asked worthy landlady Il
morning. at breakfast. "Itisso very weak, brns
am, " replied Mr.. James, 81 thought would dust
t it, brus
iauy IN oregon, IN writing to friend, orus
S that cattle in that region live to such sale
at age the owners have to fasten long poles ~
he ends of their horns, for the wrinkles to ~
out on! Hen
dancing master was renewing his solicita- fresh
s for past fayors, when the printer made m
say, "Most respectfully offers his shanks'' CT
IN old widow, when her pastor said to her, -
ID has not deserted you in your old age" by
led, ''No, sir; have very good appe- IN
stillr' lU'
What's the difference between candle in 3 ap
Mammoth cave and dance in a public FL
Sc? The one is taper in cavern, and bv
other caper in tavern. -
lessed are those who are afraid Of thunder; | J.
hey shall hesitate about getting married, by
keep away from political meetings. oc
My eyes, jack exclaimed tar, seeing DE
Ter chained to cannon ball fer punish y
t, ''if there amt soldier at anchor" WASH
ave you read my last speech? said prosy -!
Dr., the other day to friend. 1f
hope SO, was the satisfactory reply. Oils