The Ashland union. [volume] (Ashland, Ashland County, Ohio) 1854-1868, 1856-11-19
Dumorous.
DEACON SMITHS BULL;
OR
Mike Fink in a Tight Place.

HClN Was
ted Davy Crockett, and his equal in ali
things appertaining to human progress
It was even said hat the animals in the
neighborhood knew the crack of his rife
and would take4to their secret hiding
places on the first intimation that Mike
was about. Yet strange, though true,
he was but little known beyond his I'M
mediate settlement"
When we knew him he was an old
mantle blasts of seventy winters had
silyered DER his bead and taken the
elasticity from his limbs, yet IN the
whole of his life Mike was never worst
ed except on one occasion. To use his
own language he never gin in, used
up, to anything that travelled on two
legs, or four" but once.
"That once, we want" said Bill
Slasher; as some dozen of US sat in the
bar room of the only tavern in the set
element"
fright, right Bill" said Mike,
but we'll open with a Ticker all round
first, it'll kind o. save my feelings I reck-
on"
"That, that's good. Better than the
to'ther barrel if anything"
"Well boys" commenced Mike, you
may talk O. your scrimmages, tight pla-
ces, and such like, and subtract them
altogether in one almighty big 'un: and
they haint no more to be compared to
the one I war in, than a little kitten to
on old she bari I've fought all kinds
o. varmints, from an Ipgin down to a
rattle snake and never was willin to
quit fust, but this once-and twas with
a bull.
"You see, boys, it was an awful hot
day in August, and I was nigh runnin
off into pure lie when I was thinkin' that
a dip in the creek mout save me. Well
there was a mighty nice place in old
Deacon Smiths meadow for that par
tic'lur Dizziness. So 1 went down
amongst the bushes to unharness. l
jist hauld the old red shirt over my head
and war thinkin' how scrutinous q fell
low of. my size would feel wallering
round in that ar water and was just
bout goin' in, when I seed the old dea,
cons bull a maxim a B line to where j
stood.
at knoW:d the old cuss for he had
skar'd more people than all persons O.
the settlement and came mighty nigh
KILN a few. Thinks 1, Mike, you're
in a rather tight place-get your fxins
on for he'll be a driven them big horns
o. his in yer bowels afore that time !
Well, you will have to try the old var,
mint naked I reckin.'
"The bull war on one side o. the creek
and 1 on t'othor, and the way he made
the 'sile' fly for while, as if he war dig
GIN my grave war distressing !"
"Come on, ye bellern' old heather
said I, { and don't be !standin' there, for
as the old deacon says o. the devil, yer
not comely to look on
"This kind O. reached his under
standing, and made him more wishous,
for he hoofed a little like, and made a
drive and as I don't like to stand in
anybody's way, 1 gin him plenty of sea-
room. So he kind o. passed by me and
came out on t'other side, and IS the cap
tain O. the Mad Swamp Rangers would
say, bout face for mother charge
Though I war ready for 'em this
time, he came mighty nigh %ruunin' foul
o. mel So I made up my mind the
next time no went over he wouldn't be
alone. So when he passed, 1 grappled
his tail, and he pulled me out on the
'%siie,' and as soon as we were both at
the top of the bank, old brindle stopped,
and war bout coming round again, when
I began to pull t'other way.
"Well, 1 reckon this kind o. riled him
for he fust stood stock stile and looked
at me for a spell, aud then commenced
PAWN and bellern' and the way he made
his hindgearin' play in the air was beau
tifull
"But it warn't no use, he couldn't
tech me, SO he kind o. stopped to get
wind for suthing devlish, as 1 judged
by the way he started. By this time ]
made up my mind to stick to his tail, as
long as it stuck to his back bone!
didn't like to boiler for help nuther
kase it war again my principle, and ther
the Deacon had preaching at his house
and it warn't far off nuther.
az knoW'd if he hearn the noise thu
hull congregation would come down
and as I warn't a married man, and
had kind of a laundering arter a gal tina
war thar, 1 didn't feel as if L woul,
like t. been in that ar predicament.
$50, says I, you old sarpent do you
eussedist And SO he did; for he dru
me over every briar and stump in tn
field until I war sweater and bleedin
like a fat cat bear with a pack o. hound
at his heels. And my name amt Mix
Fink if the old critters tail and 1 didn'
blow cut sometimes at a dead level wit
the varmint's back.
$50 you may kalkelate we made goo
time. Bimeby he slackened a little an
then / had i'm for a spell, for 1 lis