Richmond enquirer. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1815-1867, 1856-05-20
STAUNTON SAM IN HIS SUNDAY SUIT.

STAUNTON SAM IN HIS SUNDAY SUIT.
Some dreadful deed has been perpetrated at Stauu.
ton. Our old friend, muatto Sam, has met with foul
play. He has been smothered, abducted, or impri.
soned. Possibly he has been decoyed into the Luna
tic Asylum, rs many saner man than Sam has often
been, by pretended friends and faihless relatives
This Stgunton Sam bears no resemblance to our old
acquaintance. He is an impostor, a Lambcr, Si,nue
Perkio WarbecE; not the "tru6 prince" He had
better not come to Richmond. He would be detected
in moment here, for not "tip end of tall has he,
and the real Sam was almost all tail Our Sam, If
you met him in the Streets in the market or in church.
was always muttering imprecalions against the "Pope
and the foreigners" They haunted him by day, and
disturbed his dreams By night Now, Staur,on Sam
is more afraid of Catholics and foreigners than we
are. Our Sam was nocturnal! and sub;crranean in his
life and habits he burrowed in the earth like the
hedgehog and prowIcd about of nights like the OWL
We doubt whether he could see by sunlight The
glare of that lumnary would have blinded him. This
Staunton fellow struts about at MONDAY, proud as
Il negro on Easter holidays. The Richmond Grand
American Council must look into this matter. There
has been foul play somewhere.
The aris,ocratic Old Line Wings have either
changed the Ethiop's skin, are trying to palm off
puny and iegitimate White SAM in place of the
brawny, robust, legitimate, Mulutto Sam. But
Staunion Sam fails to inform US what he rests his
claims to the throne. lie certainly is no Knuw-No-
thing, no Abolitionist, 10 Wing, SO far as we can
gather from his platform. lie is entirely new as
praut first started at Stauntou, and must cnghten
us more fully to the grounds Of lis title and the
character OF his qualifications. His Sunday suit, and
holiday airs, will not ailay the suspicion that attaches
to his birth; far less will they suffice to win the throne
for him. Some one has ls se.t lis an account Of u
scene that occurred in Stanton, which we annex,
and which goes far to verify our copjectures:
For the Enquirer.
ACT I.-SCENE
TIME, MiDSIGHT-A STREET IN SrAUNToS-SAM
HOLDING pN TO LAMP.PosT, ASD OCCASIONALLY
sOLtLo4riIISG.
Sam-Well! is this me! Ifitis me, is it the same
Sam that used 10 be! Some Of the larurd old line
Wings say that amt nobudy at all, just Il kind o
| ldear, sort oi thing they call q myth. I'm dizzy
not drunk, JUS; dizzy from turning round too often
Will they stop turning me round and mounting
| me new platforms l. cant keep the run OF en-
my head's in whirl. If | let 20 this post shni
fall down in the street, and be b. cart ol
carried to the wutch-housc Where's my tail! Gone
clear goae! What will Botts say! notts who ovcC
| und cherished that tail! Why, last winter ] wa;
running oil into tail, and the Richmond folks made
| platform just to fit the tail aGne. And now have
| no more tail than Tam O'Shaniers mare. | have
| been abducted, like Morgan; have been changed
| swapped off, by them proud old line Wings. This
uiui Sam 'Tant nobody How them cursed lamp:
wink at me. They make game OF me. Wen! "Mt
| fellows gone out. There goes another! IL late
/ ought Ia be in bed.--Filimore. don't like hin
and his proud Wings. They cut off my tail. be
lieve they will soon make an r!eh Catholic. Yes
that's TO be my next platform Tie scarlet prostitute
of Babylon, the Pope, and The Devil! IN c"'n'g {
thar, and ha; well brgin 10 prE,1ic. ~ part:
feed krnut aud drnk Irish ~iiins ,'no "n'
up with the part of the Native American, porn a''
raised in Jarnauy II Fillmore won't suit, that fellow
with the long name will. IN mazinSly pleased witt
| him Andrew Jackson Do.e!son! That Gn his name
| That's iust my wit! Its Andrew Jackson, after hi
old father, "a the Dutchmen cay. Bat, rs they sa,
in the play "To be no. to be- that's the question.
| Am Sam I or Just Ii sort of dream or all idcar
| Or am nothing Well, I'll try. like the boys usc'
| 10 do Mt The academy. al think, therefore, am.
| Well can't think. Never much given to j; il
| my life. But what with turning round and round
| and standing new high platforms, and drinking III
| extra julsp ur two, I'm so dizzy and drunk can I
think at all. al think, therefore, am | cant
| think, therefore, ain not. Not Sam, nor dream
nor an idear-not nothing! So I'll lay down here
and 90 to sleep. | believe il was Sancho Pan2G who
invented sleep. wish he on the ticke; with Inc
and Jackass, instead OF that proud fellow, Fiimroe
with his furrin quality Mrs and high notions. lie
had rs much experience IL government rs flilnnre'
| and heap more manners and sensc wonder alter
! he was tossed on the blanket, if he was dizzy and
drunk as am. They served him right bad but his
blanket want hnf herd and high as my platforms
wish had il here, for this mountain ar iteia chy
IIies dorm and xmGrcs-cntain falls.