Bedford inquirer and chronicle. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1854-1857, 1856-01-04
The Three Jolly Husbands.

shesla the next morning pay the bill. The,
then separated for the night, engaging =.
meef again ihe next morning aud give ~
honest account Of their proceedings Al l,o.,
50 far as they related 10 the bin. Thenes
morning Walker and Brown we're early
their posts, but it was some tine bef,,
Watson made his appearance. waItqle
gan first:
@You see when lcntered my honsS
candle was cut, and the fire giving bul
gIlmmering of light, came near wslkipgin-
to rot Of batter that tie pancakes were t.
made of in the morning. Ny wife, wi.
was drcadfully out of humor said to ne ssr.
castically.
"Bill, do you put your foot IA the bat
ter..''
"Just as you say, Magey,'' said I, aud
without the least hesitation pu, my foot IN
the batter, ard then went to bed"
Next Joe Brown told his story.
"My wife bad already retired IN our usual
sleeping room which adjoins the kitchen. The
door Of which was a jar; not being able TO
navigate thro ughly, you know, made a
dreadful clattering among the honseto.d
furniture, and my wife III no very pleasant
tone, bawlcd ous
'.Do break the pudding pot"
ssNo sooner said than done, seized hold
of the pot, and striking it against the cl.;ln-
ney jam, broke it in hunkred pieces. Af-
ter this exploit, / retired to rest, ana got
curtain lecture all night for my pains
1t was now Tim 1Yatson's :urn TO rive an
account of himself, which he did with a very
long face as follows:
sMy wife gave me the most Hnlucky
command in the world for was blunder-
ing up stairs in The dark, when she cried
ont
e HDo break your neck, do Tim
an be cursed If d9, Kate" said I, as
| gatheral myself up. S'I'li sooner pay the
BILL" And so landlord, here's The cash for
you; and this is the last I'll ever risk five
dollars on the command OF my wife.
0E Have you tuy fanbhorn bonnetsi' IN
quired very modest young Miss OLA shop
keeper.
what kind cf bouue,s, Alissr asked
he.
ANY iim5horn bohnets,' she repeeted
sAny-don't YOU mean ie{horng' asked
he.
Tie young lady was carried home on
shutter.
1t was sisler of this young lady who
astonished sbopkeepeF by asking for suit
able nlaterial for making primaiive rrsngu-
lar appendages for ihe baby
PAT's DREAM -Tso sons Of the green
and glorious isle met day or two sinre,
and thus eolloquized:
Good morning Pat
'Good morning Dennis
Dennis. How is it with We, Pat ye
same in quandary.'
Pat. 'Bedad, it'< all right We are
without knowing it, for it's in that same |
am. Its provoking dhrane I've had
Dennis. a dhrame! was it a good OF
bad onel
Pat. bad luck, but it was little of
both. / dhramed was with the Pope who
was as great a gentlemen as any boy in the
district; and be axed me would | urnk.--
Thinks Would duck swin' and scien' th
| Inishown and the sugar on the sideboard
tould him | wouldn't mind taking wee
dhrop of punch. Cowld or hot! says the
Pope. Hot, says /, and with that he step
ped down to the kitchen for hot water; bu
before he got back woke up, and now IT.
distressln' me to think l didn't take 1t
cowld'
The following dialogue is said to have
taken place recently, in a parish in SEQ
land, on the oceasiou of registering the BIRTH
Of cbild
/ what is his name 2
| John, sir
is it male or female :
Male, sir
Are you It's mother e
i am, sir
sWerc you present at its birth =
When this question was asked We aero
suddenly called away, and have not heard
/ whether tie mother was absent ut tho time
! of its birth or not.
NCH IN (lJNuJlC CU1nNE