Cooper's Clarksburg register. [volume] (Clarksburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1851-1861, 1856-04-04
THE DEAF AUNT AND THE DEAF
u WIEE.


the first time since my marriage. and |
don't know what evil genius prompted
the wickedness which l perpetrated to.
wards my wife and my ancient relative.
"My dear." said l to my wife, on the
day before my aunt's arrival, "you know
Aunt Mary is coming to- morrow well,
forgot 10 mention rather annoying cir
cumstauce with regard to her. She is
very deaf; aud although she can hear
my voice, to which she is accustomed, in
its ordinary tones. yet you will be obliged
to speak extremely loud in order to be
heard. 1t will be rather inconvenient,
but l know you will do everything in
your power to make her stay agreeable.
Mrs. S. announced her determination
TO make herself heard. if possible.
then went to John r, who loves
joke about as we'll as any person know
OF, and tCld him to be at the house at
P. NJ. on the following evening. and felt
comparatively happy.
went to the railroad depot with a
carriage next night. and when was on
my way home with my aunt. said:
"Dear aunt, there is one rather annoy
inirmity that Anna his wife has. which
forgot to mention. She's very deaf,
and although she can hear my voice, to
which she is accustomed, in its ordinary
tones. yet you will be obliged to speak
extremely loud in order 10 be heard.
am very sorry for it,"
Aunt Mary, in the goodness of her
heart, protested that she rather liked
speaking loud, and to do so would afford
her great pleasure.
The carriage drove up; on the steps
was my wife in the window was John
=, with his face as utterly solemn
AS if he had buried all his relatives that
afternoon.
handed out my aunt; she assembled
the steps.
Il am delighted to see you." shrek,
ed my wife, and the policeman on the
opposite side walk started, and my aunt
nearly fell down ihe steps.
kiss me, my dear" howled my aunt
and the hall lamp clattered, and the win
dows shook as with fever and ague.
looked at the window. John had disap
peared. Human nature could stand it nc
longer. I poked my head into the carriage
and went into strong convulsions.
When l entered the parlor, my wife
was helping Aunt Mary TO take off hel
hat and cape and there sat John will
his sober face.
Suddenly. "a Did you have a pleasan
journey % went off my wife like pistol
and John nearly jumped to his feet.
"Rather dusty" was the response. il
a War-whoOp, and so the conversation
continued.
The neighbors for blocks around mus
have heard it. When l was in the thirc
story of the building heard every word
In the course of the evening my aun
took occasion to say to me-
"How loud your wife speaks. Dom
it hurt her p
told her that all deaf persons talkec
loudly, and that my wife being used 10 it
was not effected by the exertion, and tha
Aunt Mary was getting along very NIGEL.
with her.
Presently my wife said softly
"Alf, how very loudly your mt talks >
Yes" said 1. 81 all deaf persons dc
You're getting along with her finely
she hears every word you say"
And rather think she did.
EIa:ed at the success in being under
stood, they went VI it hammer and tong:
till everything on the mantle piece cIaL
tered again, and was seriously afraid O.
crowd collecting in front Of the house
But the end WAS near.
My aunt. being of an investigating
turn OF mind, was desirous Of finding GU
whether the exertion of talking so loud
was not injurious to my wife. So
doesn't talking so loud strain you,
lungs" said she in an unearLhly
whoop, for her voice was not quite as mu
s'cal as 1t was when she was young.
1T IS An exertion." shrieked nv wife
"Then. why do it 90 was the answer
ing scream. - - :.
"Because-you-you can't hear, il
DON'T" screamed my wife. -. -
What" said my aunt. fairly tivaline
railroad whistle this time.
l began to think it time to eyacuate
the premises, and looking round, and see
ing John gone, l stepped into the bacl
Parlor. and there he lay flat on his back
with his feet at right angles to his bodv
rolling from side to side, with his fst
PoKed into his ribs. and most aeonizin,
expression OF countenance, but not utter
ing sound. l Immediately and invoIun
tarliy assumed similar attitude, and
think. from the relative position of ou
Ieet and head. and our attempts to re
strain our laughter. apoplexy must hay
inevitably ensued, if the horrible oroar
winch John gave had not BETRAYED on
hiding place.
In rushed my wife and aunt, who by hi