Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1856-11-10
Opposed TO Mstrimony.

q" Is your family opposed to matrimonye"
al, no, rather guess not, seein' ss nv
mother had four husbands, and stands pref
~ smart chance Of haviD' another
"FOur husbands! Is IL possible?'
"Oh, yes. You see my mothers name was
Mehitable Sheets, and dads name was Jacob
Press; and when they got married the prin-
ters said it was putin the sheets to press.
When / was born they said il was the fr.t
edition. An you see, mother used TO be the
tarnalest critter to go to evenin meetins She
used TO be out pretty late every night, and
dad Was afraid Id get in the habit, 80 he
used to put Inc to bed at early candle light,
and cover me with a pillar, and put me to
sleep with a boot jack. Wal, dad got up
every night an let mother in, an If he didn't
set down and open the door pretty darned
quick, when she'd come, he d ketch particu-
lar thunder; so dad used to sleep with his
head out Of the window, so as to wake up
quick; an one night he got his head little
to far cut, and down dad come, cahummaK,
right down or the pavement, and smashed
him IL ten thousand pieces
What! was he killed by the fall pa
oval, no; not exactly by the fall Rather
kinder sOrter guess il was the sudden 70 ch up
on the pavement that killed him. But, man,
she come hum an found him lyin' thar, ana
she had him swept up together and put in a
coffin, an had a hole dug in the buryin'
ground, an had dad put in an buried up, an
had a white oak plank put up TO his head !.
and had it whiteBashed all over for tomb
stone"
SO your mother was left q poor widow i''
"Wal, yes, but she didn't mind that much,
| for 'twasn't long before she married Sam Hide
be,ause he was just dads size, and she wanted
him TO wear out dads old clothes. Wal, the
way old Hide used to hide me was a caution
& nly hide Hide had q little the toughest
hide Of any hide except bulls hide, and the
way Hide used to hide away liquor in his hide
was a caution even TO bulls hide. Wal, one
Did day old Hide got his hide so full Of whis
XIV that he pitched head FIRST into a snow bank,
| and there he stuck and friz to death. So man
had him pulled out, and then she had another
| hole dug in the burying ground, and had him
| buried and then she had another white oak
flank put up az his head, and whitewsshed
| all over
$50 your mother was again a widow ,"
| 90, yes, but guess she didn't lay awake
| long to think about il for in three weeks she
married Sam Suong-an' he was the strong
| ess-headed cuss you ever did see. lie went
| n fshin' the other day an got drowned be
| gos so tarnal strong headed, I'll be darned TO
/ darnation If ne didn't float right agin the cur
| rent, an they found him about three miles up
the stream. and it took three yoke of oxen 70
| haul him out Wal, nam had him buried
alongside o 'tother two, and he had Whlte
oak plank mt up at his head, an whitewashed
oil over nice so there rs three Oh en u"
'ogn a..
"And your mother was widow ior The
third time 90 60 rD;,5 n a
Aes, III ;bt The next fellow she married
aas Tacnb aays, and the way nam does make
va. ho,e ia a caution, now tell ye. If be
Saes 5i@ anything a leetle out Cf the way, msu
"sss uUes him take bucket and go right up to
the % buryin' ground and whitewssh the three
oak planks, jiss to lie, him know whs. ne ma may
and she's got married TO the fourth husband
So Won see my family arn't tarnsl sight op-
nosed 10 dose Of matrimony