Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1856-06-23
MR. BROWNS MIsHAPs.

ty-nye, or thereabout, one OF those men who
seem born 70 pass through the world alone.
Save this popularity, there was nothing 10
distinguish Mr.. Brown from the multitude Of
other Browns who are born, grow up, and die
in this world Of ours
1t chaneed that Brown had occasion 10 visit
a town some fifty miles distant on matters Of
business. 1t was his first visit to the place,
and he proposed stopping for day, In order
TO give himself an opportunity to look about.
Walking leisurely along the street, he was
all at once accosted by a child Of Eve, who
ran up to him, exelaiming
Father, want you TO buy me some can
d" Father" Was it possible that be, a
bachelor, was addressed by that title He
could not believe it.
no were you speaking to, my desr?" he
inquired Of the little girl
Il spoke to you, father" said the little
one, surprised.
"ReaiIy," thought Mr. EliphaIet Brown,
" this is embarrassing"
g am not your father, my dear" he said.
What is your name?''
The child laughed heartily, evidently think
ing it a good joke. "What a funny father
you are, she said but you arc going to
buy me some candy?"
Yes, yes, I'll buy you a pound If you
won call me father any more" said Mr.. B
nervously.
The little girl clapped her hands with de-
light. The promise was all she remembered.
Mr.. Brown proceeded TO q confectionery
store, and actually bought pound of candy,
which he placed in the hands Of the little girl.
In coming out of the store they encountered
the chid's mother.
90 mother" said the little girl, Just see
how much candy father has bought me-"
"YOu shouldn't have bought her so much
at time, Mr. Jones" said the lady. 4" am
afraid she will make herself sick. But how
did you happen to get home so quick did
not expect you till night"
"JOnes-I-madam," said the embarrassed
Mr.. Brown, 81 it's all mistake; L amt Jones
at all. 1t ism my name. / am EIiphalet
Brown, Of W, and this is the first time
ever came to this city"
"Good heavens! Mr.. Jones, what has nut
this silly tale into your head? You have
concluded to change your name, have your
Perhaps 1t is your intention to change your
wife ?7'
Mrs Jones's tone was defiant, and tbi,
tended TO increase Mr.. Browns embsrrass-
ment.
. haven't any wife, madam; never had
any On my word as a gentleman, never
was married.
"And do you intend to palm this tale OF
upon me ?" said Mrs. Jones, with excitement
= Ii yeu re not married, d like to know who
1 amp
:" have no doubt you are a most respecta-
bic lady" said Mr.. Brown, land 1 conjec-
ture, from what you have said. that your
name is Jones; but mine is Brown madam,
and always was"
" Melinda" said her mother, suddenly *
ing the child by the arm, and leading her up
to Mr.. Brown, Melinda, who is this gentle
man ?"
why, that's father :" was the child's i'm
mediate reply, as she con6dingly placed her
hand in his
You hear that, Mr. Jones. do you? You
hear what that innocent child says, and yet
you have the unblushing impudence to deny
that you are my husband! The voice of ma
ture, speaking through the child, should over
Wwhelm you Id Ike to know if you are not
her father, why you are buying candy for
her. L would like to have you answer that.
But L presume you never saw her before in
your life .
q never did On my honor, never did.
told her would give her the candy if she
wouldn't call me Jather any more"
You did, did YOU Bribed your own
this is infamous. Do you intend to desert
me, sir, and leave me to the cold charities Of
the world (! and is this your 6rst step 20
Mrs Jones was so overcome that, without
any warning she fell back upon the sidewalk
In fainting fit
Instantly number of persons ran to her
assistance
"Is your wife subject to faintinp in this
way asked the first conner of Brown.
Il don't know She isn't my wife. I
don't know anything about her
"Why, it's Mrs Jones amt il -
"Yes, but I'm not Mr., Jones -
Sir" said the first speaker, sternly, {" this
is no time to jest. / trust that you are not
the cause of the excitement which must have
"a -. - C.
better call coach and carry her home di-
rectly."
Poor Brown was dumbfounded.
81 wOnder,' thought he, whether " it's
possible that I'm Mr.. Jones without knowing
it. Perhaps I'm really Jones, and have gone
crazy, in consequence Of which / fancy that
my name is Brown. And yet / don't think
Pm Jones. In spite Of all, will insist that
my name is Brown"
"Well, sir, what are you waiting for? 1t
is necessary that your wife should be removed
at once Will you order a carriage 2p
Brown saw that il was no use to protract
the discussion by denial. He, therefore,
without contesting the point, ordered a hack
ney coach TO the spot
Mr.. Brown accordingly lent an arm to
Mrs Jones, who had somewhat recovered,
and was about to close the door upon her
What, are you not going yoursef?'
why, no; why should I?''
"Your wife should not 20 alone; she has
hardly recovered"
Brown gave a despsiring glance at the
crowd around him, and deeming it useless to
make opposition where so many seemed tho
roughly convinced that he was Mr. Jones, fol-
lowed the lady in.
Where shall drive ?" said the whip.
dill don't know" said Mr. Brown.
Where would you wish to be carried ?"
Home, Of course" murmured Mrs. Jones.
"Where is that ?" asked the driver.
al do not know" said Mr. Brown.
"NO 19 H street," said the gentleman
already introduced, glancing contemptuously
at Brown.
"Wiu you help me out, Mr.. JOnes!' said
the lady, :" am not fully recovered from the
fainting fit into which your cruelty drove me-"
care you quite sure thstI am Mr.. Jones?''
asked Mr Brown with anxiety.