The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1856-03-20
Short Patent Sermon.
CLACElNG Women.


t VT put Inc on tle rack
/ Bat sayo me- while Harry here,
/ From yonder wonan's clack
Ny HGAREg3: Perhaps we malo NOR.
tai, ought not generally speaking to brig
MUCH about our faculties for restraining
that"unruly member" called the tongue;
bot | do think that women have uT .'":id
reason to say ANrTulNG-for. if we are
incompetent, in certain degree, women
most certainly are, in very uncertain
degree. Their tongues are reeds sha.
ken by the wind-spIntsrs upon a chest.
nut.ralI, tina! keep up bu2zng and af.
ring so long as I1.re is breath 10 move
lhGm, The least breeza Of passion that
springs up in their bo'oms, sets ;Aer mill.
cIacks in operation; aud, ss !of stopping
them, you might ss well fire q pop gun
against thunder, or blow hand.beliows
against hurricane. They will talk. like
d poll parrot, merely for the sake of tho
noise, end, giving them credit for no
svl. lHten!:on,j they Perseyere H. jatber-
~, without once rejecting that, wha. is
music 70 tasm may be murder 10 others.
On! woman, woman wherefore art thou
gifted with such gigantic powers Of CAB!
iuau wou,dsl have becn al angel, hadss
thou an angels whisper.
/ My hearers: have bssn speaking Of
women is a whole. As regards their
noisy ,Lq4aclgu>Iess, there are many
beautiful Xcop.on., IkLow some whose
words naye fine fur, instead Of 4oG-hAir,
upon them--waoso tones are IS soft aud
musical as the mid, brssaingy Of lhs
Eo,.an ha'p--,o whom it is soothing 10
listen, and whose society is as sunshine
TO Z slorm-beaten flower. Bul, o, make
my bed under a Timed roof during d
night Of Iucsssant hail place fyfty tom
cats at my window, all in '.ui! feather"
(fur, could have said 'or a row; bid
ne deliver an impressive discourse in a
gri,t mill; soak my corns in a boiling
solution Of potash; bore my ears with
/ tw0-inch aug +, congressional speech
upon the tariff; compel me 10 endure the
iutlict!on Of fashionable opera; grato
.oal sugar by ny side wUtc an p-epaf.
ing sermon on Sunday: pa iue on Ito
rack, il you caoysa--d1 anything you
Ike, il YOU vii on}y save me from the
everlasting cack OF tlgl woman. whose
WLDGsT tones are enough 10 narrow uD
mans soul, lShaE>praTe /. freeze lis
warm blood and make each particular
hair whiskers, moustsches and imperi.
al included stand o. "eenI" like
brisIies upon the back Of a PuP.wor.ied
Ooar.p.gl
Ny hearers: | am afraid that il say
much more chou; tia CENTER sex, my
soul, next weCa, viii be as full Of regrets
as al old cot is Of Jsdbugs in august
nevertheless. ! am bound to preach the
truth to-day, although ~ devil may tell
me to morrow that ought to be ashamed
Of myself for so doing. But, when yen
SEQ my nose projecting from tits old pui.
pit, know ye nat care not for fear cf
man, the favor OF women, nor the sccn's
Of satan. let cut the truth. link ~ ink,
and, if | am thought 10 libel my brother
man or my sister woman, lei heaven DO
my judge---ihe twelve apostles, now
above, constitute jury-anl Ill ACCEPT
81 anything for counsel o'her than New
/ York lawyer--I can't goTHAT. IT, s1oih,
there is no use in trying 10 lessen Dho
noise Of a talkaiive woman's tongue by
applying the Of. Of praise; for, lle nero
you grease it 10y Aatafy, the faster and
louder it runs. Say not a word; pgi put.
ly in your ears, and it may tire ilsc II out
But my dear friends, we ought no. to
be too severe upon the sisleEhood. llsav-
en- has made them Gs they are. Their
imparlecion IS no fault Of theirs, kul an
unavailable misfortune.
Na;uro nato Han the strongest.
Bat womaA's tongue tie longest.
And now, in couc!usion, my dcss kyeth
rcD, il you will but count up youretrors,
and add to the sum total all ycur acfuaI
faults, ycu will tiDd tha, the account IS
10 be given 10 ihe credit OF the feminine
gender. B.ar an frboar-oyefool lFi.
ties-fo'Givc all errors on The part ocrha
last and the loveies' Gods wo,ks-sud
>ay as do Il Jaan, with al tiy faults,
| love thee STILL" So mote i! Jol