The Trinity journal., 1856-09-06
A San Fran cisco Auctioneer.

Dali EIdUCIsCO huCt4OlIC
The reporter of the San Francisco Nc1cs
furnishes that paper with the following re-
port Of a speech made by California auc-
tioneer
Ladies and gentlemen, now have the
honor of putting up fine pockethandker
chief yard wide, yard long, and almost
yard thick one.haIf cotton, aud t'othcr
half cotton, too beautifully printed with
stars and stripes on one side and the stripes
and stars on t'othcr twill wipe dust from
the ewes so completely as to be death to
demagogucS, and make politics as bad a
business as printing papers. Its great
length, breadth and thickness, together with
its dark color, will enable it to hide dirt, and
never need washing. Going at one dollar !?
-seyenty-liye cents ?-twenty-hyc cents =
one bit? Nobody wants it Oh thank
You sir
Next geatIemcn-for the ladies won't
be permitted to bid ON this art cle-is
real simoa-pure. tempered highly polished,
kcen-edgcd Sheffield razor Iran spanking
new never opened before to sunlight,
moonlight starlight, daylight or gas-Iight =;
sharp enough to shave lawyer or cut Il
sagrecabIe acquaintance or poor relation
handle Of buck-horn with all the riycls
but the two at the ends OF pure gold. Who
will give two dollars one doIIar half
dollar? Why We Iongbeardcd, dirty faced
reprobates with not room enough on your
phizzes for Chinese woman to kiss I'm
offering you a bargain at half dollar -
We'll, VIII throw in this strap at half Il
dollar razor and strap-a recent patent
two rubs upon it will sharpen the city attor-
ney all for four bits and piece Of soap
-swectcr than roses, fathers better than Il
school-maStcr, and strong enough to wash
out all the stains from a California !0lti-
clans conntenance, all for four bits Why,
YOU have only to put the razor, >trop and
soap under your pillow at night, to wake
up in the morning clean shaved. Won't any
body give me two bits, then, for the lot p
| knew would sell 'em.
Next. / offer you three pairs Of socks,
hose stockings, or haIi-ho>c, just as you've
a mind to call them, knit bv a machucmadc
on purpose, out Of cotton wool. The man
that buys these will be enabled TO walk till
he gets tired and providing his boots are
high enough, needn't have any coruS the
legs are "a, long as bill, against the Corpora
ton, and as thick as the heads Of the mem
bers of the LEGISLATURE Who wants 'cm
at onc-half dollar? Thank'ce mudan-thc
money.
Next, offer YOU pair Of boots made
especially for San Francisco, with heels long
enough to raise a man up to the IlOadley
grades. and nails to insure against beng
carried over by land slide LEGS wide
enough to carry two reyoIyers ANA bowie
knife, and the uppers Of the very Gr>t1lor>e-
leather A man in these boots can move
about as easy as the State Capitol. WHO
saws twenty dollars All the taxpayers
ought to huya pair to kick the Council with;
everybody ought TO have pair to kick the
/ Legislature with, and they will be found of
assistance i'll kicking the bucket-c>pccially
/ if somebody should kick at being Kicked
Ten dollars for legs, uppers and Socs !
white souls, and miserable soul, at that, are
bringing twenty thousand dollars in Sacra-
mento Ten dollars ten dollars gone
at ten dollars
"NcXt is something that you ought to have,
gentlemen, a lot Of good galIoHscs-s
times called suspendcrs know that some
of you will after a while be furnished at the
States expense, but you cant tell which
one, 50 buy where they're cheap All that
deserve hanging are not supplied with Il
galows if so there would he nobody to
make laws, condemn criminals, or hang cuI-
prits until new election. Made Of pure
umeastic-strcch like "A Judges conscience,
and last as long as California ollice-hoIder
will steal ; buckles Of pure iron, and war
ranted to hold so tight that no mans wife
can rob him Of the brceches are, in short,
as strong, as good, as perfect as cllectual,
and as Goaa .Gde as the ordinance against
Chinese shops on Dupont strcct--gone at
twenty-five cents "