The Panola star. ([Panola] Panola County, Miss.) 1856-1857, 1856-06-07
THE NEW PIANO.
WIFlE IN ECSTACY-HUSBAND
IN FIDGETS.


The deed is accomplished. NY wife
has got piano, s'and now farewell the
tranquil mind--farewell content and
the big cigars, that makes ambition
Virtue-oh farewell And oh, ye NOR
tai engines, whose rude throats the i'm
mortal Jove's dead clamors counterfeit;"
but stop, | can't bid them farewell, for
one of them has just arrived. 1t came
on dray. Six men carried it into the
parlor. and it grunted awfully. It
weighs a ton. shines like mirror, and
has carved cupids climbing up its limbs.
And such lungs, whew! Ny wife has
commenced to practice, and the first
time she touched the machine, thought
we were in the midst of thunder
storm, and thatthe lightnings had struck
the crockery chests. The cat, with tail
erect, took a bee line for particular
friend on the back fence, demolishing a
six-bit pane Of glass. The baby awoke,
and the little fellow tried his best to
beat The instrument, but he did mt dc
tit beat him.
A teacher has been introduced into
the house. He says he is the last of
Napoleon's grand army. He wears
huge moustache, looks at me fiercely,
smells of garlic, and goes by the name
of Count n-away -and-never come
back-againby. He played an extract
de opera the other night. He ran his
fingers through his hair twice, then
grinned, then he cooked his eyes up at
the ceiling, like monkey hunting flies,
then down come one Of his fingers, and
heard delightful sound, similar to
that produced BY cock-roach dancing
upon the tenor string of a fiddle
Down came another finger, and [ was
reminded of the wind whistling through
q knot hole in hen-coop. He touch-
ed his thumb and thought was in
an orchard, listening to the distant bray
ing of jackass. Now he ran his fin
gers along the keys. and l thought of
a boy rafting stick upon picket
fence. All of sudden he stopped,
and l thought something had happened.
Then down came both fists, and oh
Lord such noise was never heard
before.
l Thought hurricane had struck the
house, and the walls were caving in.
imagined l was in the cellar, and a
ton Of coal was falling upon my head.
| thought the machine had burst when
the Internal noise stopped. and heard
my wife exclaim,
"ExquisieP'
''What the deuce is the matter ?"
The answer was
"Why dear, that's La Somnambnla!''
.D-n Somnambula." thought /,
and the Count rolled up his sheet of
paper. He calls it music but for the
life Of me, can't make it look like any
thing else than rail fence, with lot
of juvenile niggers climbing over it.
Before the instrument of torture came
into the house, could enjoy myself,
but now every learned woman in the
neighborhood must be invited to hear
the new piano, and every time the blast
ed thing shrieks out, like locomotive
with the Bronchitis, / have to praise It's
tone, and when the invited guests are
nlavino. / have to say, Exquisite y
I. Deli9htful 10 "Heavenly !" and
all such trash, while at the same time,
know lust as much about music as a
blind cod -ishs There are more tuneing
hammers than comforts in our house,
and-and l wish the inventor OF the
piano was troubled with perpetual
nightmare, and obliged to sleep IN one
OF his instruments all his life.
AS for myself, had rather put my
head under tin pan. and be drummed
IN eleep with pair Of shooting irons
than to hear ssLa Somnambula, or any
other La thumped out OF a plano
Scatter ponies in front Of my window
and draw together all the wandering