The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1856-10-15
Doesticks

gives an account of the worship, by sing
ing.
Went to the church, which was ar.
ranged like theatre, with tho best pla-
ces for those who pay the most money
instead of a pulpit there was stage for
tho ministers TO perform on-people
came in drovcs-seats wero soon full
then a huge pyramid of stools in one
corner was attacked by six energetic
and determined sections, who speedily
tore it to pieces, and scattered tho frag.
ments through the aisles for folks to
sit on.
Organist executed grand Kansas
battle piece in five sharps, with vocal
limitations of the sbreks of the settlers,
and the curse of the border rufians.
Then the minister came up through a
trap door ligke the harlequin in the
pantomime when the devil has got an ill.,
vitation for bim-ho prayed long pray
CIR in his overcoat-then bo took of his
overcoat and read hymn, very quick
metre with very strong chorus then
he sat down on his overcoat aId read his
letters
The orgauist here made preparations
to gyrate. he rolled up his coat sleeves
so as not to interfere with his fingers
then he rolled up bis p,n,aloons, so as
not to trouble his toes. then he untot-
tened his cravat, and looscncd hiI yest
at this instant very muscular man
disappeared from the ranks in she gal.
lery. vanished through cubby hole. and
was instantly lost in the anatomy Of the
organ--tben there was great rafting
in the bowels thereof, ns if he couldn't
digest the muscular man, but had great
deal of wind on its stomach.
This was the preparation.
Then the organist commenced vio-
lent struggle with the keyboard, as if
he regarded the unfortunate organ as "a
fsticuff enemy, whom it would require
his utmost strength and deAtority to
overcome-so he weut in-hc hammer
ed him on tho white keys, he pclted him
on the black ones, he punched him in the
scmitones, he kicked him in the doublo
bass. he put in a series of running kicks
in his chromotc scale, be polted him in
the flats, he battered him in tho sharps,
be smotc him in the high keys, he hit
him in the low notes, then he grabbed
both hands in his octaves. and shook
him until he squealed then ho fcro-
ciously jeiked out the stops on one side,
as ifhe was pulling half his teeth out Of
his bcad-then he savagely jammed in
those on the other, as ii he was knocking
the rest of his grinders down his throat
after three quarters Of an hour, the
left hand which had been doing manful
service in the lower suburbs, began to
fail, and sentfJr reinforcement. where
upon the right hand, after hitting the
upper chord ofG sharp furious dig to
keep it qniet in the interval, scampered
to the rescue, only stopping BY the way
to bestow upon the middle c a couple Of
punches by way Of remainder-then
the player with both hands, both feet
and his knees. went at the poor instru.
ment and belabored him so numerically
in the lower pipes, that he lost his wind
and cried 'enongh.' in a roar Of agony.
This was the Prelude
Then the singing commented the op-
era folks stood up to earn their money ;
/ they sang as if the music scale had been
/ creased on tbs OCCASION. aud they were
climbing for a zig on the top Fl they
would 60 NJ note or two, aud then slip
! back-eacE Que went one notch higher
than the one before hin, but feli back
before he reached the prize, and his
voice subsided into discontented growl
low down in his ribs. At last, after
five trials, each one of which ended in an
attcnuated squeak, one female. with .
mouth like hatchway, loosened her
bonnet strings. made desperate scream
and went SO high that size finally got a
firm hold Of the oleaginous reward Of
merit. and bore it or in trumph-thcu
they all stopped,
This was singing.
Then the muscular man cane out Of
the bowels with the perspiration drip
ping from coat tails-as he hadn' t
another suit handy, he sat down in The
draught to dry.