Weekly hawk-eye and telegraph. [volume] (Burlington, Iowa) 1855-1857, 1856-11-05

I. Ec01dsl3 &0e&Hs can never - green C0eeAe
i tkeir esn rsclA He vas extremely cOycios
i and that nos only Of nice articles 81 food. but
/. many other things which do not generally exc;
the cupdity Of the human heart. The folio
!. ing story Is 10 confederation Of this assertio
|, Being on yisit one dar At the house Of one
S his parishioners ! poor lonely 9idow, living IN
!. mosriasd part Of the parish, he became fascin
! ted by the charms Of little cast iron pc
which happened at the time TO be laying on Il
. tue hearth. fuli OF potatoes for the poor woman
dinner. and thai Of her children. He had new
; IN his life seen such nice little pot-it was
perfect conceit Of 4 thing--it was gem
!, pot on earth could match it in symmetery--
|, was an object altogeshsr perfectly lovely.
Dear sake minister, said the widow, qui
overpowered BY the reverend mans commend
lions Of her pot sif re like the pc, sac We
as a that, beg yen letme send tito the mans
ifsa hird o ORA lsaperauoas] pot wi US, Il
we We bigger ane, that we use tor ordinar, an
that's Mair convenient every way for US. Sa
Il yell just take present OF. I'll send it DER til
morn vi Jamie, when he gangs to the schulz. '
Oh said the minister, Il can by no mean
permit you to be at so much tronble. Since 20
are go good as 70 give me the pot, I'll Just carr
il home in my hand. Pm SO much taken wit
IT, indeed, that would really prefer carrying
myself
i After much alteration between the mniste
and the widow on this delicate point of polite
ness, 1t was agreed that he should carry hom
the pot himself
OF, then, he trudged, bearing this curious Ii,
tie culinary article alternately in his hand an.
under his arm, as seemed most convenient t,
him. Unfortunately, the day was warm, tn,
way long, and the minister fat, so that he be
| came heartily tired of his burden before he 20
half way home. Under these distressing CIR
cumstanccs, it struck him that, if instead of car
rying the pot awkardly at one side of his per
son. he were to carry it on his head, the burden
wonld be greatly liyhrened. the principles o.
natural philosophy, which he had learned at col
lege, that when load presses directly and i'm
mediately upon any object, it is far less onerous
than when it hangs at remote end of lever
Accordingly, dofiing his hat, which he resolved
| to carry home in his hand, and having applied
his handkerchief to his brow, he clapped the pot
in inverted fashion upon his head, where the
reader may suppose it figured much like Nam
| brnos helmet upon the crazed capital of Don
Qui2 otc only great deal more magnificent in
shape and dimenssons. There was at first much
| relief and mnch comfort in this new mode OF
carrying the pot; but mark the result. The ull-
fortunate minister having taken by.path to es-
cape observation, found himself, when still u
good way from home, under the necessity of
leaping ditch which Intercepted him from pass
ing from one field to another. He jumped but
surely no jump was ever taken SO comepely in
or at least into, the dark as this. The coucus.
sion given to his person in descending, caused
his helmet to become hood; the pot slipped
down over his face, and resting with the rim up
on his neck, stuck fast there, incosing his whole
head as completely as ever that OF newborn
child was inclosed by the filmy bag with which
nature, as an indication of future good-tortune
sometimes invests the noodles of her fuyorite
offspring. What was worst of all, the nose
which had permitted the pot to slip down over
1t, wllhstood every despe ate attempt, On the
part of its proprietor, TO make it slip back again.
the contracted part or the neck OF the patera,
being of such peculiar formation as to cling
fast to the base OF the nose, although it had
found no difficulty in sliding along its hypothe-
muse. Was ever Il minister in worse plight =
Was there ever contretenps so unlucky? Did
ever any man-did ever any minister so effect
ually hood wink himself, or SO thoroughly shut
his eyes to the plain light. OF nature? What was
to be done? The place was lonely; the way
difficult and dangerous; human relief was re-
mote. almost beyond reach 1t was impossible
even TO cry for help, or if a cry could be utter
ed, it might reach in deaening reverberation
the ear of the utterer but it would not travel
twelve inches further in any direction. To add
to the dstresses OF the case, the unhappy suffer-
err soon found great difficulty in breathing-
What with the heat occasioned by the beating
of the sun on the metal, and what with the fire.
quent return OF the same heated air to his lungs
he was in the utter.nost danger of sufocation.
Every thing considered, it seemed likely, that if
he did not chance to be relieved by some acci-
dental way farer, there would soon be death IN
the pot.
The instructive love of life however, is omni-
prevalent; and even stupid people have been
found, when put to the push by strong and inn
minent peril, to exhibit degree of presence of
mind and exert degree of energy, far above
what might have been expected from them or
what they were ever known to exhibit or exert
under ordinary circumstances. So it was with
the pot-ensconced minister. Pressed by the ur-
gency of his distresses he fortunately recollect-
ed that there was smiths shop at the distance
of about half mile across the fields, where, if
he could reach it before the period of suffoca-
ton, he might possibly find relief. Deprived of
his eyesisht, he acted only as u man of feeling,
and went OIL cautiously as he could, with his
hat in his hand Half crawling, half sliding
over ridge and furrow, ditch and hedge, some
what like Satan foundering chaos, the unhappy
minister travelled with all the speed possible, as
nearly as he could guess i'll the direction of the
place of refuge. l leave it to the reader to con-
ceive the surprise mirth, the infinite amusement
of the smith and all the hangers on of the smid-
dy, when at length, torn and worn, faint and ex-
hausted, blind and breathless, the unfortunate
man arrived at the place, and let them know,
rather by signs than by words, the circumstances
of his case. In the words of an old Scottish
song:
"Out cam the gudeman, and high he shouted,
Out cam the guide wifi. and low she loued,
And all the town neghbors gathered about 1t,
And there was he THROW"
The merriment of the company however soon
gave way to the considerations of humanity
Ludicrous as was the minister with such an OBJ
ject where his head should have been, and with
the feet of the pot pointing upwards, like the
head of the great enemy, it was, nevertheless,
necessary that he should be speedily restored to
his ordinary condition. If it were for no other
reason than that he should continue to live. He
was, accordingly, at his own request. led into
the smithy, multitLdes focking around to tender
him their kindest Offices, or to witness the pro-
cess of release; and having laid down his head
upon the anvil the smith lost no time in seizing
and pcising his goodly torehammer
evil | come sair on, minister!" exclaimed
the considerable man of iron, in at the brink of
the pot,
LAS suir as ye like, was" the minister's reply,
.'better a chap wi the CHATS than die for want
O breath"
Thus permitted the man let fall blow, which
broke the pot to pieces, without hurting the
head which it enclosed, as the cookmaid breaks
the shells of the lobster, without bruising the
delicate food Within few minutes of the
clear air and glass from the gude~ife's bottle
restored the unfortunate man of prayer; but
assuredly the incident is one which live long in
memory of the parishioners OF c.
a..
KENTUCKY JuDGEs CHARGE.-Judge INITIAL,
in recent charge to the grand jury of Boone
county, Kentucky, expressed himself in relation
| to the practice OF carrying concealed weapons,
in the following language: "Now, | think
am safe in saying that one man IN twenty has a
sx.shooter in his pocket, or bowie-knite in his
breast, and if you amt careful Yon viii! come
in contact with some of these young gentry,
these travelling arsenals as l call Them They
make it point to learn enough of law to throw
you in the wrong; you will then see them brace
| themselves back again against a wall, and when
they think themselves safe in the eyes of the law
they blaze away. l want you to get right af.
ter these fellows"