Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1856-11-06

went toward home. Not limb failed
me, not moments weakness was OH me
Ii went home with the inssntion Of de-
ncuncing myself as the murderer Of my
friend-and was calm because Ilelt thai
his death would then be avenged. ] no.
ped for the most patent degradation pos
sible to humanity. My only desire was
10 avenge the murder Of my friend on
myself. his murderer; and | walked along
quickly that I might oveitaks the slow
hours. and gain the moment ofeIpiation.
went straight to the MASTERS loom.
He spoke 10 me hsrshly. and ordered me
out Of his sight--ss he did whenever /
ame before him--I told him aulhorita-
lively to listen to me; had scmething Z
10 say to him; and my manner, isuPpose.
struck him; for ne turned round to me
again, end told me to speak. What had
to saya e ,sst.f.s-.sf.e
+ l began BY stating briefly that Herbert
had fallen down Hsglin's Gag: and then
| was about to adj that il was Iwho had
flung him down. though unintentionally
when whe ,her il was mere faintness,
to this day know no,--I fell senseless
to the earth. And for weeks remained
senseless with brain fever. from, il was
believed. the terrible shock my system
had undergone at seeing my dearest friend
perish SO miserably before my eyes,
This belief helped much to soften mems
hearts-and to give me place in their
sympathy, never given me before.
When I recovered. that dark shadow
still chung silently 10 me; and whenever
Iattempled to speak the truth--and the
secret always hung clogging on my
tongue--the ame scene was gone through
as before; ! was struck down by an in
visible hand; and reduced perforce to ST.
lsnce. knew then tha, was shut out
from expia,ion--as had shut myself out
from rsparation in my terrible deed
Day and night. day and night! always
haunted with a fierce thought Of sin. and
striving helplsssly to express it.
! had come now to that time in my
life when must choose profession. /
resolved TO become a physician from the
feeling Of making such reparation to hu-
man;ty as was able. for the life had
destroyed. | thought If could save life.
if could alleviate suffering. and bring
blessing instead of sffliction, that ] might
somewhat etone for my guilt. IL not to
the individual, yet TO humanity at large.
No one ever clung 90 profession with
more srdor thsn undertook the study Of
medicine; for i, seemed to mo my only
wly of salvation. il indeed ths. were yet
possible-a salvation to be worked out
not only by chastisement and control Of
my passions. but by active good among
my fellow. men,.
/ shall never forget the FIRST patient, l
attended. II was painful case. where
there was much suffering, aud to the rela
.ious--to that poor mother above ALL
bitter anguish. The child. had been Civ.
en- over by the doctors, and l was called
in az the last untried. from depair. not
from hope--i ordered a new remedy
one that few would have the courage to
prescribe. The effect was almost mirac-
ulous. end. as the little one breathed
freer.-aEd that sweet soft sleep Of heal
ing crept over her. the thick darkness
ha nging round mo lightened percep,ibly.
Had ] solved the mystery Of my future?
By work and charity should come out
into the light againf and could deeds Of
reparation dispel that darkness which
mere objectless punishment--a mere
mental repe Hisnce-could not touch2
This experience gave me renewed eour-
age: devo.ed myself more srdsntly to
my profession, chiefly among the poor.
md without remuneration. Had L ever
money. | believe that all my
power would have gone. And as I saved
more and more lives, and lish,ened more
md more The heavy burdenof human suf |
sring, the dseadfurshadow grew fainter.
Iwas called suddenly 10 dying lady.
No name was given Iae. neither wss her
,a,ion in life nor her condition told me.
hurried off without caring TO ssk ques-
ioas: careful only 10 heal. When
cached the house. I was taken into
com where sho lay ina fainsing fit on
he bed. Even before sscertained her
nslady-vith TINT sl'aost second sight
{ a praetiesd paysicisn--her wonderful
eauty struck me. Not merely because
|. was beauty but because IL was face
ranesIy familiar to, me. though new;