The Abbeville banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1847-1869, 1856-07-10
THE HAPPY TYPO.

VlllOn, OF cOmUlnatlOn OF adverse clrcum-
stances can break it down or overcome its
geniality. But yesterday morning a man
made his appearance before Justice Bren-
nan, who seemed to have perfect fountain
OF undiluted contcntmcnt somewhere in his
composition, which no depressing influences
OF care or accident has been able to ex
haust or adulterate-a typo, a moderate
edition OF Mark Tapiey-a human barrel
OF j"'liness without hoops on. He was ar
rested for being intoxicated. lie gave his
name as Gcttyphat Take. said he was q
printer. and hailed from "rhc Jcm of Sci
encc." lie is a man, of Lcer-cask figure,
and face rnbicund as if lie slept in room
with red curtains. His answers to the
questions of the authorities, showed his
contcntment under all shades OF fortune
The justice being also in genial humor,
was inclined to banter the disciple of Ben
Franklin, and accordingly addressed him
us follows:
Judge.-Wcll, Mr.. Take, it seems YOU
have thrown aside the composing stick"
and gone to getting drunk Cor living
IN! afraid you're "bad case," and stand
in need Of '' correctng." l think shall
send you to "1uod'
These tcchnicaltics which were uttered
i'll sort of you.sec-I know your-trale. as
wcll-as you-'lo air, seemed to give Mr.. Take
that assurance which printers seldom lack,
but of which the solcmnitics of Police
Court might temporarily have deprived
linn, and he answered:
Prisoner.-WeIl, at any rate, Tn glad
we've no "gallcys" in this country, or l
suppose you'd put me there, aud well
" loaded " at that But bless you, sir, 60.
lug TO jairs nothing; the last time was
there, tanned a rat and taught him to chew
tobacco, besides inventing three new steps
for fancy hornpipe-it's :. gooL deal bet
ter than setting" solid minion," more than
lhrcr-quarters figure work." and getting
only "prce-and-a-half" for it. Lord
bless you, Squire, Id !, great deal rather 60
to Jail ten days than not. I've got sick of
work just now, and III have a chance to
get the bile of my stomach.
Judgc.-You seem 10 take ii easy; how
do you propose to employ your time this
trip?
Pri>oncr-Wc!l, Corporal, I'm undecided
whether I'll lcar, to whistle the opera of
the " Bohemian Girl" practice standing on
my head, or undertake to acquire the cle-
giant accomplishment Of balancing s,raws
ON my nose if could get cat, I'd teach
her to play the fiddle, if 1 thought the
strings wouldn't remind her unpleasantIy
of intestinal discorls after her feline body
had been nine times slain.
Judgr.-Mr. Take, you seem particularly
happy under the circumstances have You
got wife?
Prisoncr.-Not now, Lieutenant l had
one, but she run of with a bow-lcgged cob
bier; l was so glad about it, that sent her
dresses and quit-claim deed of her person,
which I signed in capital letters. She left
me one bov-but he was j" foul copy :"
not bit like me. bound him prentice
to the "type sticking" " trade, but the first
day he quarreIcd with the regular "dcvil,"
Knocked over the "bank," pulled "form off
the imposing s,one," and "picd" five col
umns; he dropped the shooting stick" into
the alligator press, and in the evening he
and another hopeful boy were caught re-
hear>ing broad sword combat with cou-
pie of "column rules )" the foreman "bat-
tered" him with a "lnallet," and when he
got home to me he had a fancy head" if
there ever was one.
Clerk.-Where is lie now?
Prisoner.-He ran away with circus i;
and the last time I saw him, he was IN the
middle OF saw-dust ring, trying to tie fris
legs in bow-knot round his neck; I've been
joIier since then than ever before.
Judge.-You seem to be always jolly.
Prisoner-So am; l laughed wien
my father turned mo out of doors at eleven
years old, laughed when broke my arm,
and made funny faces at the doctor while
he was setting it. The bappiest day ever
spent, was one time when hadn't but one
shirt and a pair Of pants to put on, had
spent all my money, and gone hungry forty
hours. l never was really unhappy but
once in my life, and that WAS when fell
down stairs, fractured my collar bone, and
skinned my leg SO badly. L couldn't get
down on my knees to thank God hadn't
broken my neck. :. 4 ''a@
The Judge relented, and let Mr.. Take 90,
and that rotund individual LEFT the room
trying to whistle and sing at the same time,
and also dance an independent jig with
each leg toa different tune. Vs,o @Yorx
Tribune. y ,,3a4as%sSt~2g.e9. 2t'rNi s. !. .A5