Eaton Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1843-1856, 1856-01-31
45rn, paste 4 5tissors.
urPlough deep, while slnggards sleep.

GTPlough deep, while sluggsrds sleep.
0TPerseveranee is the only sure means of
uccess.
DPleasure comes like oxen, and 60 away
ike post horses.
QPQuack doctors are considered "drivers'
,f the ''lsst stage, Of disease.
NJ Have you sny imbhorn bonnetsf in
luired very modest young Miss Of shop
keeper.
GT"I shall be indebted 10 you for life" ss
q fellow said 10 his ere i.ors when he ran away
10 Australia.
dJA young lady in Boston, lately tainted
on entering room where stood a bureau
without dr0icers.
QUAINT AND BEAUTIFUL PRovERB.
He that in The world would rise,
Must read the ws aud advertise.
IVA little one, after undergoing the disa-
greea5le operation Of vaccination, exclaimed:
"Now won't bave to be baptiSed, will"
NTSiep. mothers are so called because the
day lter they are married they take steps
for kicking the first wfes children into the
street.
.pA Yankee recently married wife, 'est
FIVE pumpkin pies, licked negro, told lie,
went to church, and lore his trowSeIS- oil in
one day!
nr"I think I see daylight" wrote Greedy
from Washington on the 9th inst IL is now
evident that what Greedy saw was nothing but
"Dark Lantern"
MI keep an excellent table, said lady
disputing with one OF her boarders.
That may all be true, madam, said be, but
you put very little upon it.
uTIt is bad sign when preacher tries 10
drive lone bis logic by humping the desk vi
olen,ly with his clenchsd fist. His arguments
are so fist ical!
aTThe Clarion Democrat says that the next
battle cry Of The opposition will no doubt-be
"AboliloniSts to rule Amerca"-''Put none
but niggers on guard tonight"
uT"A solid article for your papeI," ss the
boy said when he threw brickba, in at The
window OF an editor, who was sleepily cogita-
ting over aparograph on the "duIies on i'm.
ported lead"
NJ Pap planted some potatoes in our gar
| uGH, ohIu OUC VI oluniA JuuNno " Nuio kCu-
Grafton TO his father, and what do you think
came mp? Why potatoes. Of course. No
Stree, there came up drove Of hogs and eat
them all. The cold man gin in.''
| TTSir, am a doc,or--T have cured pain
| in The head of navigation. and drawn teeth
from The mouth Of The Mississippi; | have
anulomised The side Of mountain; bllsered
The foot of hill; felt the pulse Of an arm of
The sea plas,ered q cut on The hand Of ma
ture, and cured felon on the finger Of scorn.
n7rThe Southern Know Nothings have met
the ir Norlen brethren OF Washington much
as at met his supposed brother-wilh hearty
So utaiion. Upon close inspection each
started back "Och," said Pat, al thought
il was yon, you thought it was |, and faith,
lils neither of usr'-L0uiSrille Democrat.
QUITE AN IDEA. "A correspondent Of the
sshhing;on In on, who subscribes himself
"Au Old Whig," says:
"Let not the Wings b e humbled because
their party has been swallowed. The whale
,, walloweG Jonah-Jonah was heard Of alter.
wards, the whale never.
4 HEIGHT OF IMPuDENcE..-To go into print
s nr Office, look over compoSltor's shoulder
e and read his copy. To go into an editors >
room, rum mage among his newspapers, and
e look over his shoulder 10 read over his manu-
y script. Hight of Justice. To kick such ras-
n Gals out without ceremony.
GyA drunken lawyer, on going into church,
was observed by The minister, who addresSed
:. him thus:
. Il will bear witness against You at the day
o Of judgement
: The lawyer shaking his head with dluukeU
gravity, replied:
.I have practised twenty,fv years al the
bar, and always found the greatest rascal 10
,, turn states evidence.
'l arThe Troy papers tells sad story. A
{ Young lady G that city was engaged 10 b,
y married 10 a geniieman from Long Island. an
% the wedding day appointed. but on account O
" the dealh of a brother the ceremony wa
!, rosiponed. Again the wedding day wss or
~ pointed, when The sudden death Of sister oc
&c casioned another pos;ponement. Fol- ;hr
ie time day was appointed, and before 1t ha
oi arrived the intended bridegroom fei before III
- ''insatiste ascher,' leaving the IhriceStrlcke
mourner tesolate indeed.
ne What kind Of bonnets, Mssr asked he.
<. sAny lmJhorn bonnets.' she repeated.
he 'Any-u0n you Hedb RRhoi"' aS"eu h'
,h The goung lady was Carried home on shut
n. ter.
n- II was sister OF this young lady who o:
ss tonished sbopkeeper by asking for 'suitab'
ne material for maving primitive triangular aT
pendages for The baby
a. rWhenevera married lady is severed froI
ne The restraints; Of her domestic relation
y, y says The Buffalo Repulic. she is in pesiio
~ of peril. She is hence forth sort OF p'rale
as . craft, venturing 10 sea without certificate
ne CLEARANCE from any port and wilhou: the pr
- &c per papers 10 entile her TO respect or prole
w. iion. The prohiea;e looks upon her as laV
ful prey. Wherever she may be, she Is a
n, object OF marked attention 10 certain ella
of OF not over scrupu lous or respectable men,.
= On board the cars, the conductors and 9th
% railroad officials are known 10 be very nbs
Al leu,ous 10, aud often take seat beside he
In just as though she were the only passe nger {
,in board whose comfort and safety they are
he duty bound 10 regard. In social parties o.
N. pieces Of fash enable res n, hckle-mind
~ husbsnls hang around her like flies around
m. sugar hogshead. Faithful and virluous wiv
! a grow jealous Of their leice lor,s, as they s
res them following after her, and vexrd, VIII
they see the complacency with which impro
Iar HGf nj 20 n