American union. [volume] (Morgantown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1855-1859, 1856-01-26
HUMOROUS SCRAPS,
MAE FiNCK AND THE BULL,

Just got his clothes of when he saw Dea-
con Smiths bull making at him-the
bull was avicious animal, and had come
near killing two or three persons--con-
sequenily Mike felt IA ther &" jubus." He
didn't want to call for help for he was
naked, and tho nearest place from
whence assistance could arrive was the
meeting house, which was at the time
filled with worshippers. among whom
was The gal Mike was paying his de-
YOURS to-" So he lodged the bull as
the animal came at him, and managed
to catch him ny the tail. He was drag
ged round till nearly dead, when he
thought he could hold no longer, he
made up his mind he had better "hoI-
Ter" And now we will let him tel! his
own story.
SO looking al the matter in all its
bearings, | cum to The conclusion that
Id better let some ono know whar |
was. So | gin yell louder than The
loo omotive whistle, and it warn't long
before seen the dcacon's two dogs a
comm down like as if they war seeing
which could get there fust. kuow'd
who they were artcr--,hcy'd jne the
bull agin me ! was a"rin, for they were
orful wenomuus, and had spite agin
me. So says. Old Brindle, as ridin' is
as cheap as waikiki on this route, if
you've no objections, III jiat take deck
passage on that ar back % vourn. SO
| wasn't very long getting a stride of
him then if you'd been thar, you'd have
sworn thar warn't no;hin human in that
mr. tho ell, q a.
criiter and rolled around the field
one dog on one sido and one on The
tothcr, tryin' to clinch my feet. pray
ed and cussed and cnssed and prayed,
until | couldn't tell which | did al last
and neither warn't Of no use, they
were SO orfully mixed up.
Well | reckon rid about a half an
hour this way, when old brindle thought
1t were time to stop to take in a supply
ofwind and cool Oft little. So when
we go. round 10 a tree that stood thar.
lie naturally halted. SO seq |, old boy
yonli lose one passenger saItin. So
.jist clum up branch, kalkeIntip' to
roost thar ill starved before Id be rid
round that ar way any longer. war
making tracks for The top Of the tree,
when heard suthin' a maxim al orful
buzzin' overhead. kinder looked 10
and if thar warn't--well Ihar's no use q
swearin but it war the biggest hornets
nest ever hlt. You'll gin in" now,
reckon. Nike, cause there's no help for
you. Bat an idea struck me then that
| stood heap better chance u ridiu'
the bull than whar was. SEE |, old
feller, if YOU hold on, I'll tide to the
next station anyhow, let that be whar il
will.
50 list dropped aboard him asin, and
looked alOft TO see what | had gained
by changing qnar,ors, and, gentlemen,
I'm liar if thar warn't nigh half bush.
el.of the s'ingin' varmints ready TO
pitch into me when the word ego" was
gin. Well, l reckon they got il, for "all
hands started for our company. Some
of EN- hit the dogs-abouta quart struck
me. and the rest charged on brinde.
This time The dogs led off fust, dead
bent for tho old deacou's, and as soon as
old brinde and | could get under way
we followed, and as | was only q deck
passenger, and had nothin' To- do with
steeIin' the craft, ! swarc if had we
shouldn't have run that channel, anyhow.
Bot as said before tho dogs took the
lead briudle and next, aud The hornets
'kly.arier,--th dogs yelliu', brindle
belleri n, and the hornets buzzin' and
stinigng.
Well, we had got about two hundred
yards from the house, and the deacon
heard Us aud cum out. / seed him hold
up his hand and turn white. Ireckoned
he was prayin' then, for he didn't OK
pect to be called for so soon, and it warp't
long neither, afoto the whole congtepa.
tlon--men. won on and children--cum
out, and then all bands went 10 yellin'.
None Of en- had the first notion that
brindle and | belonged to this world.
| jist turned my head and passed the
hull congregation. / see the run would
be up soon for brindIe couldn',tnrn an
inch from tho fence that stood dead a.
head. We'll we reached that fence. and
l went ashore, over tho whole critters
head, landn' on t'other side, and lay
thar stunned.
IL warp't long ororo somo Of 'cm
as was not SCARED cum runnin' 10 see
what war; for all hands kaikelatcd
that the bull and belonged together.
Boz when brind'o walked off Ivy him.
self, they seed how it war, and ono Of
'em said, Mike Fink had GO, tho ,vns,
ola scrummage once in his ifo." Gen.
tlomon, from tina! day dropped the
coartiO' bizinoss, and never spoke To-
gal since, aud when my hunt is Up on
this yeartb, there won't be any more
Finks, and US ell owing to Deacon
Smiths Brind!e Bull.
Bare. FG3c@ "a 'ScIood,.--Fibs told
by The iajies 10 the p,esent style oebon. |
NOS.