Orleans independent standard. [volume] (Irasburgh, Vt.) 1856-1871, 1856-09-12
nlistrIIaneous articles.
low TO MEET A DUELIST.

HOW TO MEET A DUELIST.
4 few years since, as New England
gentleman, whose name We shall call
Brown, was passing a few days at a hotel
in one of the western cities, he had the
misfortune 10 unintentionally offend the
susceptible honor of tall Indiana colo
mel, who was one of his fellow boarders.
His apologies not being satisfactory a
challenge was sent him, which, however
he declined, upon the ground of consci-
entious scruples. The Colonel, who, by
the way, had won in two or three encoun-
tiers, quite reputation as dueiist, al
once conceived the idea that his opponent
was a coward, and resolved to disgrace
him by llogging him in the face OF all the
assembled wisdom of the house Ac-
cordingly. the next day, al dinner time,
in marched the duelist, armed with for
midable cowhide, and advancing to MIR.
Browns chair proceeded to dust his jack
ct for him in the most approved style
Brown was astonished. Luckily he had
been q lieutenant of militia in his native
state, and knew the importance Of incom-
lnoding his enemy by diversion. 30,
seizing q gravy turesn he tossed the con-
tents into the face of the belligerent Colo
mel. and before that hero could recover
iroua the drowning sensation thus occa-
stoned, he sprang upon the table and be-
gan to shower upon him with a liberal
hand the contents of the dishes around.
You are an Internal"
Coward" the Colonel was about to
say, but at that moment plate ot
greens struck full upon his mouth, anc
the word was blockaded and lost forev
err
"Ha,' cried the little New Highlander
whose blood was now up, " fond of greens
are you? Talks potato, too" and h,
hurled q telling volley Of hard potatoe
at him; excellent eggs here; capita
things with calves head J" and crash cam
a plate of soft boiled eggs, against tb
side Of his Uranium
The blows of the cowhide, which har
hitherto descended upon the Yankee
head and shoulders, now began to ia
more weakly and mildly, and it becam
evident that the assailant, half stunne,
choked and partially blinded, was ge
ting the worst of it. His courage ";
fast oozing out.
Take a turkey" shouted Brown, (
noble old gobler descended fairly upC
the Coloneps head, and bursting filed h
eyes with delicious looking stufing
here's the fixings," he continued, as II
squash and jelly followed after.
By this time the Colonel was irretrie
ably defeated, and as his merciless opp
nent seized large plum pudding, steaI
ing hot, and holding it above his he
With both hands, seemed about to bu
him beneath it, he quailed in terror, al
throwing down his cowhide, turned abo
and made a rush for the door.
" Stop for the pudding, Colonel; st
for the pudding" shouted Brown. "Pu
ding, Colonel, pudding" screamed all |
fellow boarders, amid commissions
laughter. But the Colonel was too tt
riied to listen to their kind Invitation
and did not cease running until he b
locked himself into his room.
But although the Colonel escaE
from the plum pudding, he could not
cape from the ridicule which the aft
occaIioned. He subsequently ehallens
four persons against whom his ire '
particularly excited, and they all C
sented 10 fight, bat awaiting themsel
Of the privilege of the challenged pal
selected pudding bags for their weapc
AT length, the unhappy duelist, finding
one who was willing to shoot or be S
at, was obliged TO quit the State.-P,
folio.