Weekly hawk-eye and telegraph. [volume] (Burlington, Iowa) 1855-1857, 1856-03-26

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fsfll Srav usaasehosy discourse, this morn.
ing, froa ~ following ten.
sIsasA ard ssov AIr
Nv beasses-I have ist<ly thrown my cogita.
ting apparatus considerably out Of gear In At
tempinx 70 mshe out whether laughter produces
fat, ~ rood layer or the adipose promotes
laughter = gesersily speaking. the spontaneous
prod action Of an oleaginons soil, and has lit
tie Of nothing TO do towards adding auaht TO it,
richness. II il the naturally contented mind,
my friends, that adds 70 corporal farness; and
when faiusss IL once obtained laughter takes
root therein, branches on. and blossoms ike sun
flowers on the southern side Of pig-ssye. Take
one OF your wo.begone, Godforsaken hypocon.
driacs, the Whole Of whose self.manafactured
misery seems 70 have crawled into his coan-
tenance, the very east Of whose mildewing eye
h enough 70 rub al the polish from pair Of pa
tent leather boots--iet HIM possibly be electriG.
cd into ca ;hinating paroxysn, long and loud,
and no more fat will gather upon bis ribs
than honey dew upon the sapless rose leaves Of
an old maids bonnet. Whys because the mag
gots Of melancholy that continually prey upon
bis mind, are not TO be frightened from their IA
vorite repsst by the most startling gufaw that
ever shook the quiet realm of eheerfulness.
Take, TOO, one OF your pale, wafer Tipped, weas-
smiles at the rrmotest prospects Of a bargain,
aud who IL more redundant with smirks and
bows than dsowned California dog is of feas
--moye Tim into fits OF audible mirthfulness rs
often ar you may, still he win be az slim as a
shitepoke fed upon hair snakes II he we're TO live
long enough to be grand-dad Of all the little
Beelzebnbs who may happen to be born some.
where about the middle Of the next century.
Now my brethren, behold yonder happy NOR
tai, with soul wrapped up In thick blanket OF
fat--with knob plump and shining as pump
kin In October--whose merry little optics twink.
le like twin stars at the summit Of Mount Diabo.
lo--whose "fair round belly, with good capon
lined" is an object of envy TO all walking
shadows" that stalk the earth. All Of his ideas
swim, like preserved sardines, in the richest and
sweetest of oil every expressed thought slides
out sleek and greasy, and the whole tenor and
tone Of his voice are like the inner bark Of slip
perry elm. His mind dwells in such comfortable
winter qnartets, that he never feels otherwise
than happy and cheerful. He feels SO good that
langhter--not Of your coarse, horse fashioned
kind, but the fine, short.furred sort-peeps out
ever and anon from its tat fold, and causes every
"varmint" of care to take to his hole, like rats
and gobns damned Mt the morning cockcrow.
What, my friends, do you suppose brought
this laughter breeding human to the verge Of
obesity? II was no. laughing either at stage or
street farces; nor at the freaks and follies of
ridiculous world, nor at every new-fangled and
odd fashion, that makes organ-grinders, mon.
keys almost grin themselves into eohvulsions;
nor bycna.likc al the most ridiculous Of legisla'
tive proccedings--nor was II even at such conf
cal preaching mine. No, it was the genial
spirit Of contentment that difiused cheering
warmth throughout his whole system-fertilised
his heart, and furnished good soil from which
f,,t,, lany m Ep
the dandeIion and mushroom, after gentle rain
and nurturing sun. He never drove pigeon-eyed
peace from her domicil by sweating, fight.
ing, and swearing for politics, nor wrangled
aesh from his bones in behalf of orthodoxy, uni
versalism, atheism, nor any Of the vulgar isms
OF the day--nor kept himself as lean as Pha->
raoh's lousicst calf by chasing hammered six
pence from San Diego to the Bay of Kamchat,
ka. BY keeping in good fellowship with him
self and his stomach--by maintaining good hu.
mor--meddling with no ones business but his
own--cxercisng patience at the fitful blowing
of adverse winds, and bound to be happy acieth-
err or no-be, at ast,accumulated the adipose,
if not a superabundance of the ''flthy," and
now mrth inspiring laughter will jerk itself
out in defiance of morbid melancholy, sepulchrai
minister's ominous doctors-aye, even the devil
himself
Ny Dear Brethren: like to see smiling coun
tlnances--faces wearing smiles that warm while
they glow, instead Of shedding cold phospho
resent glare, like rotten wood or sinking mack
ere at midnight-smiles that reflect none Of the
borrowed light of affectaton, for design or in
triguc. also love to hear respectable, mild
drawn, heart-born laugh, when summoned by an
appropriate occasion; but as far from an invet-
crate, clownish haw -hawing, horse cachinatine
habit, despise it, am ready to howl at it, like
dog at n fish horn blown in his ear Your spas
modic fits of loud laughter, my friends, instead
of gathering an extra coat of fat on your bones,
Is far more likely to consume what little tallow
may have been permitted to conSlomerate in the
region of your ribs. Excessive laughter, my
needless brethren, is moreover not unattended
with danger. You might possibly snap one ofthe
"thousand strings" with which the harp of the hui
man system is strung-and then where would
any more laugh come from History informs us,
If my memory doesn't trick me, that Tmoleon
the younger killed himself with laughter at see
ing an ass eat igs. So, yon sec, he snapped his
fiddle string, and laid down and died-like an
other jaukass! Take warning, my incautious
brethren, and keepa taut rein upon your risiblt
propensties; for, in this comical age, far more
dangerous sights beset the inexperienced laugh
ing philosopher than donkey munching over
basket of figs. Some folks, of ticklish, touch
wood dispositions, might jeopardse their lives to
sec you pitch into the eleven o'clock free lunch,
or mark with what ludicrous avidity our public
servants pick up and devour the peoples money,
ike so many geese at a corn crib
Keep up good cheer my dear friends, lei
come what may come live temporarily, that
good digestion may wait on the appetite; en-
deavor, by your own jolly good nature to make
all happy around you, and you will stand good
chance to grow fat--and then laush!-laugh
your way down the gentls dcclivity OF the tomb.
Die laughing for aught care So mote it
be.