Eaton Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1843-1856, 1856-11-27
00As ana GINS.

great waste Of health it represeutss
U1rTbe first Office of prudence, is TO foresee
impending evils, aud prevent them.
GcJA correspondent wants to know ifa
joke is worth anything after il is "cIocked."
IRA man who dislikes mop handles should
be careful now he spts 10 scco juice on red
headed uoman's carpet
uJSeveral young gentleman OF Louisville
have been fined Ten dollars each for refusing
to work on the engine al the late FIRE.
qJ'"I lore the silent watches OF the night"
as The nocturnal thief said when he was rob-
hinI the jewellers shop.
OtT Gamblers are ike condemned darkies
gnashng their teeth-alwsys rahIing their
worries.
TTWomen are like tulips-ihe more mod
est and retired they sppear, the more you love
them.
grHe was o very stnsible man who said
the newspaper is The best breakfast company
in the world.
grNo man can he provident Of his time
that is not prudent in the choice OF his com
pany.
GTDogS ought 10 be very valuable 10 tanners
on account Of the immense quantity Of bark
they YIELD
dTLaw is like prussic acid--a dangerous
remedy, and the smalIes; dose is generally
sufficient
GrTo make girl love you, coax her 10 love
somebody else. II there be any thing that
woman relishes, il is 10 be contrary.
pWoman'S tongue has been found capa-
lde, on actual experiment. 10 move | .6l8
times a minute! Think of that and weep
GJAt fair down east, the reporter, under
the head OF domestic arrangements gives the
following iem "BeS: Bed-comforter-Mis
Susan Thompson.
0CTThe gentleman so nfien spoken OF in
novels, who rive,ed people with his gaze, has
now obtained permanent employment at
boiler manu- factory. ..r....
pPoter's Spirit ofthe Times has an ac-
conn; of dreadful old fellow, who "woud
rather tell a lie on six months credit, than tell
the trnth for casan The idea is decidedly
original.
uT"You fiat!er me-" said Thin exquisite.
the othe' day, 10 q young lady, who was prals-
ing the beauty OF his njouslaclIe. "For heav-.
ems sake ml'aIn," iulerpoSed an old skipper,
"don'l make that monkey any tlaiter than he
is nowp ...
nTAn exchange paper, under the head Of
"GooG Advice" advises Young men 10 "wrap
themselves up in their virtue" A cotempo-
rary we'll says, "Many of them would freeze
10 death if they had no warmer covering"
Fremont.
Cursed with six "lives," born in three places
A pathfinder, hero aud bundle Of graces,
a terror to cattle, q marvel to men,
A Protestant now. a Catholic then;
One staggers at finding out whether or no ..i
He fell from above or rose from below;
But one thing is hopcfni--where Bibles are guns,
He'll run if he wins and win if he runs. ,...
No FooI, No Fux!-Ir tavern in small
town, sat a farmer, who was plagued and ban-
tered by over n dozen guests who were present.
"Well," said the farmer, at last, "l've got
the best or oil Of you" "How so?" asked all. .
"In me you've only got one fool, while in you
I've got over q Dozen" s:. -ai..s..i
"CLEAR AS MUp."-An exchange paper says
that "tranScendentaIisrn is the spiritual cog
nascence Of psychological irrefraeibili,y, con-
nected With concuitani adempiion Of oncolum-
nion spirituality and etheralized contention
OF subsultery concretion."
Rich AND PooR.-Nobody blames rich man
for going with his elbows out because every
one knows that he has got money enough 10
get him new coat; but il is unparlonable in
a poor man 10 60 ragged, because every one
knows that it is out Of his power 10 do other
wiye. tt. p...
DWe end the following anecdote in a
Southern paper:
A Yankee Being asked by Russian The
boundary OF his county, said: "That il was
bounded on The North by the aurora boreolls,
and on the South by the day Of Judgment"
u''Zounds, fellow exclaimed choIeric old
gentleman 10 a very phlegmatic, matter-of-
fact person.. Il shah 70 out OF my wits'- y
We'll, you won't have lar 10 60, said the phlsg-
matte man. -.
l-TA new "baby chair'' has been invented.
The seat Is supported by spiral springs which
elongale in pTopoTtion TO the weight Of the oe-
cupanl OF The chait, and q scale on The frame
indicates the number Of pounds weight. The
child IS thus amused by The elastic motion Of
The seat, while theparents may have the gIat-
lfcation Of noting It's wei ehtdny by cay. Pro-
f''Ss - VI o"S'SS piSHoS 'ohS uUkCcs
GJ'lf you are in q hurry, never pe, behind
couple that are courting. They want 10
make so much Of each other that they Wouldn't
move quick il they We're going 10 q funeral.-
Get behind your Jolly married folks, who have
lots Of children at home, If YOU wish 10 get
along fast. But II is best 10 be little ahead
Of either OF them.
FOLLOWING FAsHioN.-Said judicious father,
"Do not imsgine, my daughter, that You are
agreeable or attractive when your person is
exposed, or when you aid nature by artificial
means Two classes Of persons may gaze on
you, to be sure-the immoral and licentious.
wi'h familiarity. the rejecting apd serious with
sadness. Will you consent 10 such scrutiuys
Follow fashion no farther than rsshion follows
proprieiy. Never let your mantumsker die.
tate TO your morais!''
UThe New Haven Register says Abolition.
ism may as we'll now go to sleep, and lake A
good long dream Of what nay be done in the
year 1860, while the ''shrekers" unite in
singing
Hush, my dea- lie still and slumber-
Beechers rifles guard thy rest,
Kansas humbuss, without number
Gently press upon thy breast.
Other Democfalic papers are also poelicoh