The Trinity journal., 1856-02-23

FoUR BIT CRITICIsM.--Phoar bits, phifty sents.
haff a doller, quartO rials, or, in some of the
ded languages, Octo picayunes, in phederal
kurrency isn't mutch but little as it is it is
sumtimes square meel to haffstarved To-
fer, straugh bed and quort of bed-bugs
to weery traveller, a rope to hang the mis-
anthropic, a pare of shuze for Krstopher,
dose of arsnick to all as tired of life as a
mule of a tred-mill phoar kups of pee-knuts,
tickit into the thurd teer of the theater,
and tenth-rait kriticism. Phoar times has
haff doller revolushunized the world, and
seven times kooled the koller of Mrs X.
when in the ackt of demollishin the house
hold and destroyin the peese and dignity of
Kobtown. Phoar bits pound was the price
of the tee tipt in Boston harbor, and the
stamp ackt duty was about phoar bits rene.
Look at the rezult Yung Izic KnewtOn
was layin oph in phence korner studdyin
how he cud maik phoar bits to bi jack
nife, when he saugh the apple drop and dis
kuvered gravitashun. The wire that Morse
xpcrimented with koSt only phoar bits, and
the tee-kittle in which Wotts got up his
furst he'd of steme was wurth the saim to a
sent Phoar bits bot the paper on which l
rote mi CRATE poem, kommencin-
Eturnal Jove! Thou hoo dost curly gard
The house of Korn Kob and hooze nifty thots
Kan grasp the mart of pee-knuts and their price
Hooze legs are phifteen thousan miles in length
Hoo rides the komts like trusty meul,
And gides them thru the boundess depths of space
| By NEARLY yellin gec' or whoa or haw ;
Thou hoo dOst step from star to STAR as
Wud knavigat a mud hole on the bricks
Which sum kind hand had shattered here and
thare--
Luke doun and guide mi pen.'
So mutch has phoar bits dun alreddy let
me see what it will do now Yesterday
mornin | reseaved your knote, inklosin phf-
ty sents in dimes, and too tickits to the the
ater, and requestin me to rite a krittisism on
Bukannun's Mackbeth-jest as solty one
as the mummy wud pa for. AS yu ar purity
good trends of mine, and as Mr.. b. is one
of mi best customers, havin konsumed durin
the past six munths not mutch less than sew
enty-phive bushels of pee.knuts, I'll go in
to the Xtent of about doller and haf and
sa nothn about the difference.
Well, Tuzday mite kane, and phound me
all drest up as nice and slick as mi best kote,
a hi koller, and a jewdShus rubin in of a
tee-kup full of lie on mi hare and butes wud
maik me- | phelt as happy as flee in a
woolin stockin, for | had maid up mi mind
to take Mrs. X. & Krstopher along with me,
and imagined that we wudn't maik bad ap-
pearance. At haff-past seven, with the ba-
by on one arm and Mrs. X. on the uther,
prezented mi tickts at the dore and was
about walkin in, when was inphormed that
children in arms ware not admitted. Hear
was a fix | perlitely rekwested the door
keeper to take kare of Kristopher durin the
performance, if it wud not bee too mutch
trubble, but he pozitively refuzed Iphelt
miselph gettin ugly and dangerus, and a
CROWN inklinashun to loosen the hare on
that mans he'd, but the presence of Mrs. K
restrained me. AT this junkture mi wife
maid suggestion which probably saved
the life of the door-kceper, for it settled a
matter that was fast assumih phorm terri
bly, war-lke and destructiv to heuman life
and property. 1t was, that we shud talk
turns in taikin kare of Kristopher outside,
and to relieve each uther durin alternate
acks. In this arrangement l took the presi-
dence, leevin Mrs. X. settin On the door
step. l enterd, and had hole sete to mi
selph and | will hear remark, to the kredit
of the mannidgment, that phound menny
utherS as generously pervided for in the wa
of room.
Ackt Furst-The kurtin roze in phog,
state of affairs which karrickterized the
two furst senes In the thurd sene, howev-
er, Bukannun maid his apperence at the he'd
of two supes, thre abrest, and with phive
nifty strides kut the staig in two diagonaly,
and stuck himselph down neer the rite loer
entranse like phorkt stick in sandbank
For five minnits not a moShun of appauze
was maniphested and an ominus stilniSs
raned thruout that vast assemblidge-t
effeckt was too deep. At length the gass
was turnd on, and the hole staig lookt as
mutch liter than dalite as dalite is liter than
the flickerin kombustion of lard lamp
when thare aroze shought,
That all the holler depe of hell rezounded.'
Chere follerd chere, yell follerd yell, howl
follerd howl, from the phrantick augeance
the walls of the bildin shook to thare foun-
dashun, and rats went skamperin from thare
holes in terrer detatcht heles of boots rol
ed down in sutch piles as to block up the
passig waze, and phearils and heds of kanes
flld the are as thick as muskeeters in the
San Wockeen tules wimmin wept for ioi
and sturn men kfide 1T is he = Durin this