The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1856-07-17
HONOLULU, HAWAlIAN ISLANDS. july II. 1856.
VARIETY.

Better be the head of yeomanry than the tail of the
gentry,
The eleventh commandment says the Times,
+" is this: Thou shalt not be found out. .
friend that you buy with presents, will be bought
from you.
He is rich whose income exceeds his expenses, and
he is poor whose expenses exceed his income.
Those who believe that money can do every thing
are frequently prepared to do everything for money
There are two reasons why we don't trust :
one because we don't know him, and the other be-
cause we do.
A printer out west, whose first son happened to be
avery Short fat little fellow, named him Brewer Full
faced Jones.
A dutchman describes New Workers as g berry fine
peoples who 'go about der streets scheating each
oder, and dey call that pizziness.''
Fashions FOR THE s,EAsoN-A New York paper,
speaking of the report gentlemen's fashions, says
sc There is not much change in gentlemens panta-
looms this month
gentleman asked friend in a knowing manner 11
g Pray, sir, did you ever see cat fsh y No,
sir,'' was the response, s'b but have seen rope
walk Wonder if he ever saw horse fly.
Always adhere strictly to truth; but while you ex-
press what is true, express it in pleasing
Truth is the picture; the manner is the frame which
displays it to advantage.
PoL1rIcA1.-The son of friend of ours, whose
head is running politics, in consequence of the
tation in relation to that subject nnocenty wishes to
know whether DIR. Kane tried to get to the Pole to
deposit his VOTE
The following is a true copy of a sign upon an
academy for teaching in of the Western States
Freeman and Huggs, School Teachers Freeman
teaches the boys, and Huggs the girls .
1t is the little troubles that wear the heart out 1t
is easier to throw bomb-shell mile than feather,
with artillery Forty little debts of one dollar
each, will cause you more trouble and dunnng than
one big one of a thousand
A witness in a liquor case at Manchester, N. S.,
gave the following testimony Saisoda is ice and
Don't know whether it is intoxicating or mott
makes one feel good---feet lift easier.''
s.NTv brethren said Swift in a sermon, there
three sorts of pride Of birth, of riches, and of
talents shall not now speak of the latter none Of
you being liable to that 06omtna6le 0ice
CT give ard bequeath my beloved brother Zack one
thousand dollars''
'sWhy, you are not worth one half that sum In the
world, - interrupted the magistrate.
Well, no matter if aint, replied the other,
It's my will that brother Zack should have the
and may work and get it if he has o mind to-
L1FE.-For every one life has some blessing-some
cup that is not mixed with bitterness At every heart
there is some fount of pure waters, and all at
some time other taste their sweetness. Who is he
that has not found in his path of life, fragrant
rosebush scenting all the air with its sweet perfume
ssNo GIRL But THAT GIRL.''-A letter passed
through the Hereford (EnganD Postofice lately with
the following singular address, For that girl L
don't know her name they calls the galOper,' and
lives Somewhere in Rowsy Lane, Hereford, Hereford
shire. Shure don't give this to any girl but that
girl The letter reached its destination, the fair
for whom it was intended being known by this sobri
quet by the police.
stopped all rvi2 t aIar Rel rs hotel, Cahawba,
Alabama, and ordered his baggage down to the o,.v
and went down himself without paying his BILL
Said the Major
Sir, you must not leave without paying your
bill can't afford to hire servants, buy provisions,
and board people for nothing.s'
'FYou can't?''
No.
seWel then, why in creation don't you sell out
your tavern to some one who can?
Cur informant is extremely anxious to chalk that
mans hat both ways, slight tribute of respect to
his magnificent impudence.
A STUBBORN JURY-The Portland g Transcript
tells a good story of a Col. M--who had great
aptitude for serving juror. When thus serving
he had very great anxiety that his opinion should
be largely consulted in making up verdict Some
years ago. while upon case, after many hours trial
to agree but failing, he marshaled the delinquent
jury from the to their seats in the court where
the impatient crowd awaited the result of the trial
" Have you agreed upon verdict?'' inquired the
clerk.
| Col M arose, turned whitening glance upon
his brother jurors, and exclaimed:
sc May it please the court, we have not; / have
done the best could do, but here eleven of the
most contrary fellows had any dealings with. "
A You've clerical gentleman relates the following
anecdote of of his Dutch brethren The old fellow
about commencing of his spiritual exercises,
when to his being little sighted, added
the light of country church. After clearing his
throat, he gave out the hymn, prefacng it with the
apology
The light isIl bad myne eyes sh dim,
scarce to read dish hymn.
The clerk, supposing it was the first stanza ofthe
hymn, struck up to the tune of common metre.
The old fellow, taken somewhat aback by this turn
of affairs, corrected the mistake by saying
I didn't sing dish hymn:
only meant mine eyes ish dim.
The clerk, still thinking it q continuation of the
couplet, finished in the preceding strain
Ihe cid man, at this waxed wroth. and exclaimed
at the top of his voice