Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1856-04-05
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A ccrpulen, bachelor friend of ours, had
both his ears frozen, las, night, whiie IN
Jed-snnozing away in MS selfish lone
illness. If such warning does no, terri
ry him into matrimonial specuialions, we
hope he NAV never lhaw out when he
freezes again.
"Am not InIle pale :" inquired
lady who was rather short and corpuIenr,
of a crusly old bachelor. "You look
more like big tuJ," was the blunt re-
ply.
A witty correspondent sends us the fol-
lowing notice OF brief stree, colloquy
recently held between maiden lady OF
little beyond certain age aid newly
married feminine
$50, you are going to keep house, are
YOU ?" said the elderly maiden.
Yes" was the reply.
"Going to have girl, suppose" was
queried
The newly made wife colored and then
quietly responded that
"She really didn't know whether it
would be boy or girl"
I'm oil Bachelors Epifaph.--A lady
had been teaching the summer school in
certain town, and young sprig Of the law
paid her some attention, SO much tha, he
was ioIied about her. lie replied, "he
should look higher for a wife" Ii came
to tie lady's ears, and she meditaied lit
lie bit of revenge. An opportunity soon
offered. They were at party together,
and to redeem her forfeit she was TO make
his epitaph. She gave the following
"IIere lies man who looked so high
lie passed all common damsels by,
And they who looked as high as he,
Declared his bride they would not be,
So 'twixt them both he died a batch,
And now has gone 10 the old scratch"
"Jim, what are you doing there on the
floor"
"Why, sir, have had a shock"
"A shock !"
"YeS, SIR"
"W hat kind Of shock -
"Why sir. one of your subscribers
came IN during your absence, and offered
to pay a years subscription, which pro-
duced such an effect upon me that have
been perfectly helpless ever SINCE"
mo wonder, jim, but cheer up; il you
survive tins, you are safe, as there is lillle
prospect OF another such catastrophe in
this office"
llooPs.-A week or two before last
New Years, says The New York Times)
after brisk circulation Of invitation cards
some eight hundred of hich were dis
Irlbuled-the Church Of was
crowded to attend the marriage of MISS
- aged 20, 10 Mr.-- aged 80.
The young lady was the daughter of
man Of large repuled wealth in the ives:
end of the city, and the wedding was cell
ebrared with all the pomp and ceremony
usual on such occasions, and considerable
more.
On New Years Day the young wife
was arrayed in her wedding robes aud re-
ceved an immense company Of her old
teaux, who admired her beauty, thought
that she wentlo the full length Of The
fashion in her "Eugenia hoop" though,
the husband happy fellow. had a fine
time generally and went home.
Two weeks later, and the hoop is no
longer needed. A bouncing infant no lon
ger seeks cnncealment, aud tie Young
mother will probably abjure hoops for the
future, as a grandmother may look upon
them as immoral and 10 be dscounte-
nanced.
And Ike immersed ia his physiological
lesson, read on-"The heart is OF conf
cal shape, is situated 10 The ihorax, jus,
within the sternum, Iiule inclining 10
the Iell side Mrs. Parngton laid down
her knitting work, and looking over the
top Of her sPeclacles, said, is that SO.
Isaac, ? lie assured her tIal it WAS
She paused a moment. as a pause will oc-