The Shasta courier., 1856-02-02
sam Sfackpolc's Adventure.
SIMON sUGGs, JR.

a. speculate II was rayther wonderful affair,
and if Sally there would only tell it. you would
expreciare it. certain was courtn Sally AT that
tme. and was in love up to my eyes. But her
old daddy was opposed to me, out and out
And he n stupendous man-the crossest
ugliest old varmnt that ever wore spcctaclcs; !;
and lave often wondered how Sally could be
such charming little creature, with such
crusiy old fellow for father. She ,cos mag
mum bonum GAL sure, at that tme-a little IA
,led now, you see; but that's to be expected.
Beauty's only skin deep, but uginess goes to the
bone.
Well one day | went TO town and bought
whole heap of fancy don's-ribbins, beads.
goose grease for the bar. ct cetera and forth.
| was determined TO her up, and putting
my purchases snugly in bundle, locomotcd
towards her daddy's house, true a a rifle.
1t was rayther laie when ] arriv' and Old
Scraggs was bilin some merlas.es candy for
Sally to pedde the next day-ihcrc bein' show
III town-Saly and her mnnlmy havin retired.
8. The inst thing done, however, aier enter
ing, an Old Scrasss had stared at few, was
to sit lite down III pan o. hot merasses, he'd
put on cheer To cool, which made me jump up
and howl amazin' Gingerbread how il burnt,
but as lie didn't see the accident, | squatted on
Sally's band box, which contained her Sunday
bonnet-not noticin-and went to rubbn'
where it burnt like sixty-six. Well arter I'd
sot there spell, groann' for myself and won
uerin now uluCH uaulaSe done, 1ne old man
gave another terrific, look and said
"'Sam Stackpole. what hav' you come here
arter-say? z
Mr.. Scraggs," ses ]. not DARN TO stir for fear
he'd diskiver my pre,likamcnt, I've come here
on mighty important dizziness, GO. Lordy how
that merasses smartedD and if you'll jist keep
your ebenezer down about five minutes, I'll en-
deavor TO inform you with that degree of aeon
racy, with which am conspicuously and pre-
eminently developed
'The old feller didn't understand that ar pow
full language. and in course he didn't say nuthn'
SO kept easy as possibly could and went on
Perhaps" ses |, you've noticed that l are
been pain numerous attenshuns to your daugh
ter, and I'm gratified to state with infinite pop
ulari,y. Now, if you'll give Sally to me, I'll
vote for you for Governor, and leave the country
ii you amt elected.
Well after l had delivered myself in that ar
benevolent style, what do you think the old
codger,s reply werea Why, instead of saying,
Take Sally, and welcome he actually pointed
to the door, and told me TO scatter VOW got
out of patience, sure, and didn't care what oc-
curred-if Sally's bonnet acas smashed.
Mr. Scnggs," ses l. II should be happy to
oblige you. but the fact is sot down here, and
can't leave, nohow, unless you cut hole in my
srowsers
fast as set, he jist caiched up the hull pot full
of hot candy off of the fire. and emptied it all
over my head and shoulders-true as am live
boy Jehu how the stuff made me cavort and
holler! But was mad that grabbed great
COB and let him have it-biff rite tween the
eyes.
There take that ~ ses /, "you old flop
cared piece of deformity and then started for
the door-direct. jest got it open, ready to
dart when old Mrs. Scraggs bust out into loud
laugh, and Sally spoke for the fust time.
q Sam Stackpole," ses she, hold My band
box and your pantaloons are ANNEXED ~
Jerusalem !" ses l, and leaped. I must
a been awful skeered, for landed at least twenty
foot outside the house. an ran like prairie fire.
never looked behind me till next mornin', and
when did, the kiver Of the bandbox was stick
in TO my trowsers.
" That was my merlasses candy adventure,
Squire, and right hot work it was. But mar
ried Sally at last. The old man Civ in, after
while, and now you can reckon up the family in
your census as quick you please"
NoSE OF Your BooK-LEARSED DocToRs.-The
following dialogue occurred in Court in State
not two thousand miles from New England.
quack doctor OF the Thomsonian ORDER was CAL
led TO the stand as witness, and after he had
testified 10 having made "a night visit, the
: prosecuting attorney began the cross-examina-
uon thus:
:" Mr., Doctor, TO what school of practice do
you belongl'
" don't belong 10 any school. never went
to any school in my life, thank ycu.
But that Is not quite what want to know
mean, to what school of medicine do you
belong
can tell you, sir, never went to any school
OF medicine or practice, or any thing else of the
Kind. believe that nature makes doctor.
am a seventh son, sir and didn't need to 60 to
any school,"
"Well, well, what system OF medicine do You
hat fs ind oc l,,,,1 L
you givel"
20, that's what you want, is it, Why of
course give the Brutanic medicine always, and
everywhere"
The Brutanic You mean the Botanic sys.
- tenn. don't youl''
No, sir Bruianic. I saw
Now will you tell me how much you charge
for q nocturnal visit ~
Sir" Every Indignantly Il don't give any
such medicine. practice as told you, to the
Brutanic system. and III have you and this
Court 10 understand, don't give any such hor-
rid stuff
No more questions were asked-R. /. School
BABY SHow.-Dianora Salviati, who lived
~ Florence some 800 years ago, was the mother
Of 50 children. of whom never less than three
were produced at birth.
n If one our people in the East be found
kissing Turkish lady, can he be charged with
embracing Mahamedanism
coxuSDRux.-Why are the Irish people like
the Frenchl Because one is possessed of all
jokes. and the other Of all jeeys (Algiers)
soft answer turneth away wrath" az the
man said when he hurled squash at his enemy's
head.
RELIoIo RoAAxo PusEylTIcA.-This Religion
would he Az the better If there was more Light
and fewer Candlesiicks in it.
Now Is good time for bachelors to overhaul
their laat summer clothing and to sew on The
missing buttons