Cooper's Clarksburg register. [volume] (Clarksburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1851-1861, 1856-01-02
A Racy Stump Sneech,

The following eloquent, grand, lofty
and stuPcndOus effort was recently made
by promising genius who had announced
himself as Il candidate for Congress:
Friends and fellow culzens OF this con-
tlictuous community
Now, Ia like TO have you pay partcu-
lar attention, as the preacher SAYS when
the boys is pitchn beans at his nose. |
say a crisis has arrived. tie wheels of GOV
eminent is stopped. the machinery needs
greasin', the rudder's unshiPped. the bier
busted, and we're adoat and the river
risin'. Our glorious Ship of State, that,
like Il bObtailcd gander, is foated down
the current Of time, has had its harmony
disturbed, and is now drifting with fearful
rapidity towards the shoals and uuicksands
of disunion. threatenin' TO dash everything
into flinders. and pick itself up in the
end gone gosling. Hearken no longer,
re worthy denizens of Hog Hole, Terra
PIN Neck and adjHcent regions, to the ST.
rem voice that whispers in your ears the
too deluSive sound, peace. peace, for
peace has soped and flowed to other lands,
or driv to the depths OF the mighty deep.
or in the emphatic language OF Techum>
Of other Chimes" Or the great Alexander
at the battle OF Runker's Bill, who, in
the agony of despair, franticalIy shrickeI.
=, gra"yI peace has gone like thy skeule
Boy days and don't care q darn. lie
was whole hoas aud team Shurc.
Fellow. citizens, and gals, too,-in our
hail Of Legislation confusion runs riot and
anarchy reings supreme. Rise up, then.
ike P"Tkers iE ta!cr patch, snd shake the
dew drops of yer hunting shirts and fall
into ranks. Sound the tuc>in beat the
dram and blow the tin horn I'll the
startled echoes rcverberatlng from hill top.
and from gopher hill 20 gopher hill, shall
reach TIE adamanliue hills Of New Eng
land, the fe'roginous disposition of the
Missouri, aud the RUriierOus particles Of
CalIlforny, to pick up their oars, and in
whispered accents, inquire Of her vslors
-" What ouL."
FelIOwc citizens and the wimmin-I re-
peat it, to your posts, and from the top.
most peak of the Ozark mountains, bid
defiance 10 the hull earth by holIerin' -
"Whosc afeerd?" in such thunderin' tones
that quakin' with terror, you'll forget
what nigger is. Don your rusty regimen,
tai, and grease tho locks Of your guns
and put in new hints ; grind your old
scythes and make swords out Of 'em,
mount your horses and save your nation
or bust.
Ladies and gentlemau-the great bird
of American iberty'S flewed aloft and sorn
upon the wings Of the wind, and now hoy-
erin high over the cloud -cIapped submits
Gf the Rocky Mountains, and when he
shall have penetrated into the unknown
regions Of unlimited space, and then shall
have div down and lit down on daddv's
wood pie. shall be led to excIam, in the
language Of Paul, the ostier, " Root pork
or dc"
Time is critical; blocd's goin' to be
poured cut like soap suds outen a wash
tub, end every man thRt's got soul AS
big AS the white of q nigger's eye, III fi.c.
bleed and die for his countr7. Thuu's
the tmes-you want men in the councils
of the nation you can depend on-that's
nc. Elect me to Congress and III stick to
through tick and thin. like a lean tick to
nigger's shin. I'm not gnin' to make an
elcclioneerin' speech. "a SC rn the Sct--
Y ON know me, I've been fotched up among
ye; already upon the wings of inagiua-
ton | fancy | see you marchin' up to the
polls in solid phslanx, and with shouts
that make the earth ring, Hurrah for
Jim Smith," come down on my opponent
like thousand brick.