Thibodaux minerva. [volume] (Thibodaux, La.) 18??-1858, 1856-03-22
rN1MERvA's scRA? BASKET.

Helping young lady out of mud-puddle, is
what we would call beautiful! extract
" How sharp your toenRils are" as Paddy said
when he caught the hornet.
Laugh at no man for his pug nose-you can't
tell what may turn up is a wise caution.
1t is provoking to dream that you are hugg ing
an angel, and wake up with the bolster in your
arms.
A schoolmaster has been arrested and held to
bail for teaching young lady vulgar fractions.
Why is pretty girl like steamboat? Because
she always has "a "swell' after her. 4 'swell-
head editor got that off.
Dobbs says he has heard this winter great deal
about the detention of the mails, but nothing con-
corning the detention OF the females.
=" You look as though YOU were beside yourSclf,"
as the wag said to the fop who happened to be
standing by a donkey.
A divorce was recently granted by one of the
courts of Indiana, when the only allegation against
the defendant, was that she had cold feet.
The man who was "bent on matrmony," has
Strengthened up. He would have been doubly
Strengthened if he had married
The great composer Rossin says that the Eng
fish 90 to the opera to sleep, the French to talk,
the Germans to dram, and the Italians to listen.
The latest case of Know Nothing prescription is
the refusal of Hindoo council in Indiana to admit
gentleman to membership bscause he had Ro-
man nose
"Wcn, Ack, hows your brother Dave getting
aong9" ooh, tirstrate; he's got good start i'll
the word-nlarred widow who had seven child
rem and marry niger"
An editor out west saws: aft we have offended
L,th
public career, let him send us a new hat, and say
nothing more about it." Quite cool, indeed.
Fontenelle was asked bv courtier at Versailles
what difference there was between clock and
woman. He instantly replied: "a clock serves
to point out the hours, woman to make us forget
them"
\ late Illinois paper contains the announcement
of the marriage of Mr. Wolf TO a Miss Lamb.
1t is not the first time that wolf has taken lamb,
though their lying down together would seem to
indicate the near approach of the millennium.
"Can you tell me, my dear fellow" said a hem
pecked gentleman to his bachelor frind, what
lock is it that even Hobbs cannot pick and take to
pieces?" " Can't guess" said Mr.. Bachelor. Hap
py dog! to be without any experience-t is red
lock-"
An old synic, at concert one night read in the
programme the title of song, viz: go give me
cot in the valley love" Reading it over atten-
lively, the old fellow finally growied, "well, if l
had my choice would ask for betlstead."
The census statistics of one particular village in
Iowa we're droll enough, if the word of the wag
who made them up can be relied upon. He re-
turns as follows: Irish, 1885, Amsterdam Dutch,
100; other dam Dutch, 200; Whites, 0O7-total
population, 491." This was the kerry last census
taken.
DR.. johnson, when in the fulness Of years and
knowledge, said: II never take up newspaper
without finding something would have deemed it
a loss not to have seen; never without deriving
from it instruction and amusement"
One of the deacons of certain church asked
the Bishop if he usually kissed the bride at we'd
dings always" was the reply "And how do
you manage when the happy pair are negroesg"
said the deacon. In all such cases, replied the
Bishop "the duty Of kissing is appointed to the
deacons."
4 German writer says that the people of the
United States can burst more steamboats, and chew
more tobacco than any other five nations OF the
globe. This man must have travelled among us
with his eyes open.
"Madam, has your piano an anian attachment"
asked Sam, the other night, of the wife of a man
who appeared to live up to if not beyond his in
come. Hush" whispered Seth in his ear. cit
has sheriff s attachment"
\ young lady in New York advertises for hus
band. The express qualifications upon which she
insists, is that all who make application for her
hand shall address her, postpaid, enclosing fifty
cents to defray the incidental expenses! She must
be "hard up as well as in want of a husband
John Mitchell, the Irish patriot while lccturing
ut Troy the other evening, was guilty of the fol-
lowing bull: eff" said the lecturer "theves
were robbing the house fyour old MOTHER wouldn't
We rush to defend her9' And wouldn't ye seize
the vagabonds by the throat if they trying to
throw the old woman's house out Of the Window
Of course you would!'
A country parson had singular popularity of
expression, always using the phrase, 81 fatter
myself" instead of :" l believe" Having occasion
o exhort his congregation during a revival he
. fattered himself" that more than one-half Of
hem were ON the road to perdition.
The Saltwater (Min) Union states that there is
letter in the postofice at that place directed in
he following manner:
Go Boldly on in Spit ov fate
in Dangurs Sahi pas
till you git with adelia gates
in Lowell state of mass
A writer says of the gapes in chickens: "Tell
hose of your readers who are interested in raising
chickens, that small pinch OF gunpoWder, giving |
o a chicken with the gapes, will effect cure, and
complete cure, in from one to three hours time
md leave poor chick healthy and hearty. Ispeak
rom what know, having tried the remedy with |
perfect satisfaction"
A fellow whose countenance was ugly enough to |
care the evil one, was giving some fourshes in a
public house, when he was observed by Yankee |
Who asked him if he didn't fall into brook when
lie was young. "What do you mean, you mper
inent rasca?" "Why, don't mean nothin', only |
ou've got such an ALFRED crooked mouth thought |
$ how you might have fallen into brook when
on was baby, and your mother hung you up by
he mouth to dry"
Some new star in the poetieal world thus ad-
resses the lord of the barn-yard fowls-the tall
shanghai:
Feathered giraffe! Who gave you wings?
Who furnished you those legs?
How could such everlasting things
As those come out of eggs?
AS my wife and at the window one day,
Stood watching with monkey,
A cart came by with "broth Of boy"
Who was driving stout little donkey
To my wife then spoke, by way Of joke,
"There's relation of yours in the carriage"
To which she replied, as the donkey she spied,
"Ah, yes, reation-by marr:age!"