Greenbrier weekly era. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1854-1861, 1856-05-20
How TO Behave iu Church.

J
you get to your seat. Then pass YOU,
hand over your hair to see if the hours
labor that you Srent Oh i, has not been
III vain, then take good lon. Stare
over the congregation to see who is there.
II you chew tobacco. Llaze away into
the seat behind if uuoccupicL, or else let
drive at your ncishhor'> patent leather.
Scratch your name OH the back OF tho
front seat, with the likeness Of one
eyed hippogriii'; star frequently ut tho
pretty looking girl behind you. and i:
possible send her, note assuring her
thut sho has the prc,tcst hand or tho
most exquisite eye Of blue this side Pa
rndlsc. After having exhausted ull
reasonable amusemcnts you may shut
your eyes, open your mouth, and favor
the congregation with All cXtcmporo
snore. After the service is over do tho
agreeable to some divinity thereafter
write yourself brick.
For You've LADlEs-Spcnd four
hours in fixing out before starting, Tor it
is every young lady's duty to look prot
ty, hearing in mind that ladies were
created for the especial purpose Of be-
ing worShippsd by gentlemen, aud u,-
trncting their unqualified admiration.
Step dainty up the aisle, seat yourself
ngain, and repeat this six consecutive
times. Pull tho outer garment Il litlu
way over the left shoulder, then back
OH the right, and after doing Ills Il Jew
times leave it where you found it;
Straighton down your collar, then
etraishtcn it up, pull out II highly per-
fumcd pocket handkerchief, puSs it over
your lips aud return it, smooth down
both sides Of your dress, aud thrust the
too Of your exquisite foot little GU, and
then after rising up aud setting down
again you will be prepared for further
developments. Being properly fixed,
you will rise up again aud sit down, nn!
then, after rising up and sitting down
once it would be we'll to repeat il. If
the gentleman in front sends YOU a n,tr,
hide it under your prayer book or lun,
and read it when he is not looking, you
need pay 10 particular attention to ,i,r
preaching. lha. will lie 70, The l,rnrli, OF
sinners If you have hlur eyes, turn
them upwards once in II wiilr if black,
close the lids aud look dreamy. Ii
there is gentlemen ut church you par
tleulnrly fancy, don't accept Ii gentle
! mans company. unless l." rroir..rs il.
aud let your judgement guide you theTo-
| after.
NEWSPAPER PATKo SS.-TIIis thing
called patronngci il IL queer thing. 1t is
very correctly remarked by some one,
that it il composed O: as many colors
as tho rainbow aud Us chnngabIc rs tho
huos Of the chameleon
Que man subscribcs for paper and
pays for it in udvnncc-l.c rous home
aud rcnds it the year round with tho
proud satisfaction that il is his OWL
lie haDda in an advertisement --u>h,
the price aud pays for it-ths is rn;-
ronage.
Another man says:-" Pat my na,no
on your list Of subscribers - and gocs
ot without saying pay once. lie asks
you to dvcrtisc-but says nothing H.
bout paying for it. Time ,,as*cS--your
patlnncci' exhausted, aud you dun hin,;
he flies into pussiou-pcrhaps hc phys
you-pcrhaps not,
Another man had been n subscribed
some time. lie becomes tired of i. and
wants a changc-hc wants an other
journal '-giv il up anA you bad
name. One Of his papers is returned
to you, marked refused, paying for it ia
among his last thoughts. Alter Il timo
you look OYER bis nccount and send hin.
bill Of balance due. 5A! lie does not
pay it--treata you with silent contempt.
This TOO, some call patronage.
ENERGY IS SUCCESS. -" rhc LONGER
l live" says Sir T. L. Bax:on, 'lho
more | ain certain t:lat the grca: diF4r-
cncc between ncu-bctwecn the feeble
and the powerful, the great and the in
Significant is energy, invincib!c deter.
nlnaton, purpose oncc fixed on. ami
then dentll Or victory. II quality will
do any thing that can be done in l!p
world; aud no talents, no circum.
stances, no opportunities will make IL
two.lcggcd creature man without it.
If truth was ever uttered it j. III these
words, whose force can feel Yet low
many men are iutinilatcd with the odds
against them, and pass lives ip quiu,
aud nsiguiiicuuce which on "a; to have
made their mark on their generation
We have met with pcr&ou5 whose ca.
pacity for success was lno,t uA1outtod
who were possessed Of talents Of II
high order; yet whose lack Of energy
had buried those talents, AMI their lives
wcro spinning out 50 u Yri't Il! Il an
memorable end. And we have met with
people Of very modrrat" ability, Of quiet
nidiocre intellect Occupying high pluecs,
Enjoying high station~-tho rewards Of
their own iudomitablc will aud rcrsc-
yeraucc.
LET TO man be ashamed TO work
let no man be ashamed Of a bard fit or
sunburnt countcnanco. Lct him only
be ashamed Of ignorance aud sioth. Lrs
10 ,Lan DO ashamed OF poverty. Let
him only be a,hanrd Of idlcncss aud
dishonesty. Ashamed Of poverty. Oh.
no; We would rather ndyisc to tie IN
digcnt at the c"fSc Of po'crty. No mau
eau possibly CONSUME all hc lahors for.
Who. then, gets the overpius--or raIh.
cr, who takes it: 10 DO plain, who
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