Nebraska advertiser., 1856-09-20

It can't be did!
A person who tries to raise himself
by scandelizing others, might as well
sit down on a wheelbarrow, and try to
wheel himself.
Why is the common sense of pro-
fame young men like the waste-water
of mill-ponds? Because it escapes
through their damns.
How youth makes its wishes hopes,
and its hopes certainties! Hope is the
prophet of youth. Young eyes always
look forward.
An editor out West boasts that he
had talk with woman and got the
last word.
IDLENEss.-What is it? A public
mint, where various kinds of mischief
are coined and extensively circulated
among themOstdespicable ofthe human
race.
SNcERITY.-Sincerity is to speak
as we think, to do as pretend and pro-
fess, to perform and make good what
we promise, and really to be what we
would seem and appear to be.
Observation-Disclosures we drink too
deeply of pleasure, we find a sediment
at the bottom which pOllutes and en-
bitters what We realized at first.
"Julius, was you ever in business2''
Sin course / was" "What basiness?"
ga sugar planter" sWhen was dat,
my colored friend?" ''Der day hurried
dat old sweetheart of mine."
An old author quantity remarks -
"Avoid arguments with ladies'. In
spinning germs among silks AID satins
a man is sure tobe Corsted and fcisted,
he may consider himself eeOund ap.''
1t is stated that there is at Saratoga
fine looking Indian girl, only fourteen
years of age, who has child three
years old. There's ''Young America"
I-native, too!
A Schenectady editor, describing
the effects of squall upon canal
boat, says, "when the gale was at its
highest, the unfortunate craft keeled
to iarbOard, and the captain and another
cask of whisky rolled overheard"
The man who, when there is a do
mestic storm, steps in between man
and wife, is as bad as he who, when it
is raining violently, walks between
two dripping umbrellas, for he gets
protected neither by the one nor the
other, but on the contrary catches it
from both sides.
AN UNFORTUNATE MAN.-Friead--
What on earth is the matter with you,
Jack? Jack-Why, darn it, there's a
new girl come out, with twenty thou
sand a year, and 1 went yesterday,
like . fool, and engaged myself to
Fanny, who's got only fifteen thousand.
EPIDEMIC AMONG SILK WoRMs.-The
EcOde1la Boraa of Milan, says that the
epidemic which has ragged among the
silk worms this year, in Lombardy, has
caused loss to that province of thirty
millions francs.
A gentleman observed to a ladv. thai
a mutual friend, since a late illness
had spoken like puppy. 'sNo doubt
of it" she replied, ''for his physician
has since ordered him to bark three
times day
A traveller in a rather slow coach
enquired of hisnext neighbor its name
who replied, 81 think, sir, it is calleC
f the Regulator, for observe all othel
coaches go by it,
: A nabob in a severe fit of the rout
told his physician that he suffered tn,
! pains of the damned. The docto
; cOolly answered, "What, already?''
, Two girls Of fashion entered al
assembly-room, at the moment a citi
J zen's fat wife was just quitting it,
"Oh, said one of them, 'there's bee
/ ala mode going cut" "Yes,' sal,
the fat lady "and game coming in.'
WHOLESALE AND RETAIL.
Inlittla trades more cheats and lying
Are used in selling, than nbuying.
: But in the great, more unjust dealing