Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1856-01-17
VARIETY.

o1uai dime sions, ordered q pair OF boots TO
be msnufsctarsd accordingly. The boots
were sent 10 him but upoa trying them on
ketraasposed them. Tho smaller boot did Mt
begin TO look upon the largest leg, aud the
Pefspiration accompanied The experiment..
by the piper Of Mosss isure hsrgained 10
have oae boot larger than the other, icstead
" which the spaipeen has made one smaller
than the other. Bejabers, an I'll not take
them sure The boots were sent back
sEr Tas ladies Of Utah have a3oped .
new costume which seems to be gradually
decreasing in favor. II COASTS OF loose 1T
ting dress, resembling in ea,, 4 mans sack
coal, being buttonea 10 frout, and reaching
afsw inches below the knees, q pair af pau
talets adorniDg the ANGLES, aud leghorn la,
81, j.antly on the head, being in fact mod
itcstiou of the blssmer costume. The ladies'
sss Oh as relieved Of 4 super abundant load
Of pet,iecats and their husbands are freed
from paying for more than two.tLirds the
usual qusntity Of dry good.
n- 4 colored servant sweeping out ho-
tsl boar ler's room, found SIX pence, which
he carried to its owner. You may keep it
for ysur honesty, said he. Shortly after he
lost bis geld pencil case, aud inquired Of the
servant IL he had seen il.
Yes, sar,' said the darkey.
and what did you do with itl'
II keep um for my honesty, said darkey,
With entire simplicity.
Hs-A boy ct school 10 the west, when
c,lledout to Eecite lis lesson in history, was
asked
what Is the Germsu diet composed Oft
The boy replied, 'SouTkfout, schnapps,
lager bier, and nix eoneEouseh'
Boy prom Oted instsatsr.
HrJehils wants 20 know shat makes xo-
men cat up so over weddings. lie says
that tie rabbing aud purriug Of pussy over
handful Of catnip IL only equalled by We
mau with slice Of wedding cake.
Colaa5Hs Fact
ErA YANKEES recently married wife, ate
ave pampkis pies, licked negro, told dOz
ea shunderiaS lies, wsnt 10 church, aad tore
his sroxscrloons--sll 10 sDs day ! Smart
days work
What tune Is that which every one Knows,
yet has never heard played on any ins,ru.
meni1 The spittooa.
HFTws young ladies we're singing duet
A stranger turned to bis neighbor, saying,
Does net she the lady in white sing wretch
sdiyf Excuse me, sir replied be, Il hard.
ly feel st liberty TO express my sentiments,
abe Il my sistss Il beg yeur pardon, sir
answered the other 10 much sOnfasios, Il
nsau tbe lady in blue You are perfectly
sighs there, replied tho neighbor, Il have
ofsea told her 90 myself she is my vie.
n1rwhat is the longest aad yet tbs short
sstthiag in the world, the swifsst and yet the
mest SLOW the most divisibls add Lbs most
extended tho least valued aud tie most re.
II ,t.r - -. a
uh;ek devoers everything. hsWever small
Aad yea gives life aud spirit 90 every object,
ksWsyer greati AnsvSF- Time
when NJ wiilberfsrss VISA easaidsts
fsr Hell, Bis sister, az auiabis aai witty
yOang LADY, oasFsa the compliment Of
new gssn 80 sseL sf those ffssnasn she yo-
"a Coz hsr kFefhsr, Oh vhish she vas ssluled
wssh tAs cry Of Miss WillbeFsoFes forever
Il thaak yss gsatlsBsn,' TsRsrkeJ tbs lady,
'bat Fsaiiy do soa siA 10 be hiss WILDER.
fstss fsssvsFF
HrA lsdy vas teaching boy 70 spell
Ths bo5 spelled q. has eeul1 not pre-
neanss "a In vsia his tssehsr asked hin
v THAI ssd ny Al lat she asksd him
Was % yea gss shea yon 60 cat upon
ths ses side salks % = Fsisy dsy, aud vet
year fsstF
i SIS uNatNa
REsasxasLE SELT COxa5L The Bruss.
sick Nj Tsisgrspb tells story oil yoans
wtsss dsun % the ksnasbcc, she said 20
ss a~4asintanss pho ~. sousoiing with her
upoa sss rsssat ass,h q Der spouse, y hops
yea HiH sxsass ny no esyfsR, bus ibs fact
is,orgisg airsys a1lss ~ sess Ted
'Ygui, said sssa 10 kis fs,ssd. 4 lbiut e
hiEAly dangerous 70 keep the balls o. small
hairs on hagas ass jsye
sTi.n, sassersi tte ether ! sd Il mors
diasa.t ssaa dangerous
Ez~Ifaay one s.o.ki 20 % bee, ass booze
% thy eva e9assisngs, ani cramias thy
heart II tina - ga'liy, u ia iau c5rree
lion u uot eaiity, it b faif insiruetioa.
saaks ass % sstA, - shalt taoa distili honey
vat 81 sail ssl oss q 90 o?4s essay make
. secret friend
hBFssies. ti,s celebrated phFsnaiogist,
Isstss she flliosiag tFaspisF sssostisu
Xsuag mau. usidiis-anua assn. u ~ tefs SOS
WAT my b ygus sgs, yosr sife, yoar
siren -th, yaaf flelsa, oar any tllng ehse
vhstsgsf, yoa are % a4a asisss yoa have
bees IN iovs
Cs-Aa Iasa psp,S ssgs L,sr.nags utors
itis pfintea kss see ntlg 90 tis.is3 by
sBlssaaes fspsi 3 o. bsisg asstd fgutal
~ moaas, the liter sayE 'Iho vaisr ass
ksss Sigh IL shs streets,
to- ~ hai} ssil = ysanz Isiy, 10 goa
siask ~ Pistetie l9rsF '.1alsm, Fs1isal
tss rsatismseg s. = ksaa4 to4isl, vsfy "a
ssiiBg :.
nrKsaees naatsss bess tss sss,s 10
whiss ,.s - resisted 80 ufots bses %
BE fSrhst ~ PtaasYiysalz - isl9Nt
slla4. d43 hets f.eAi oat ksfs, 4 50 ~
sefe13s nsss sses 81 t.ses.z - pf,ss 10
So R1ese