Washington telegraph., 1856-04-02
Most Laughable Incident.

NEW PHASE OF THE GOOSE QUESTION.
A most laughable story is told by an Eng
lish correspondent of the New York Sun
/ day Times, of what occurred a short tim,
since on one of the railways out of London
We thought that We were once witnesse
and participants of droll adventure on on,
of the New York railroads when lot O
hungry and blood thirsty Hungarian leeches
..ottIng leo-a frnrn--a iar in which tLasr srer.
confined. spread very promiscuousiy ovel
the lower limbs of the passengers, and com
menced feeding to the great surprise anc
CONSERVATION of all !; but the English story
is far more iudicrous. and we intend spin
ming it out little in our own way
1t seems that in fou- passenger car or
the London railroad there were two traveller:
on the occasion In question. One was civ
il, quiet, modest, we'll behaved gentleman
the other, who sat opposite him was lady,
fair, fat and forty" who was also Of mod
est mien anu conduct The train had hard
" commenced moving. wheI the lady sud
denly jumped up. and, with crimson flush
on her countenance, exclaimed
How dare you ?'
'Dare what .' said the gentleman in as
tonishment.
Insult me in that manner" continued
the lady, still swelling with indignation
Il am not aware that have insulted YOU
in any way, form or manner" retorted the
gentleman. innocence and enquiry depicted
III every lineament of his counfcnance.
"Well, don't touch me again." continued
the lady IF you do, / II call the guard
The gentleman sat marvelIng, but silent,
wondering what strange conceit had got into
his fellow travellers head. when suddenly
she spran2 NJ second time. and in a fresh
burst of Indignation broke out with
IN not stand such imper;jnence and in
suit. I'm a decent married woman, and
your conduct is insufferable"
But, nv dear madam, what upon earth
has got into your head What do you
mean %
Il mean that l will not be insulted. -
Iou mistake my character, sir, if you think
I'll put up with such impotence. You're
an imperiinent. good for nothing puppy.
that's what you are and with flashing eyes
she resumed her scat.
The gentleman was still wondering at
the strange conduct of the lady, totally un-
conscious that he had given her the least
cause of offence, when She suddenly started
up third time with the ejaculation.
Keep your hands to yourself, If my
husband was here he'd pitch you out of the
window. LII have yon arrested the moment,
the cars stop. Keep your hands of.
say ~
What hands Go you mean? You talk
like a crazy woman. and [ believe you are
insane" was the response of the bcwildereJ
gentleman
LET % Of my legs" broke out the lady.
jumping up again. and this time in per-
feet frenzy of passion
Il don't know anything about your legs
never touched them in my life-never
want to touch them You're as crazy as a
BedLam-you're candidate for the first
luDatic asylum on the road-and Eli have
you arrested the moment the cars STOP
put in the gentleman with honest indigna-
ton.
And I'll have you arrested for taking
impuient liberties with me, responded the
lady, an equal amount Of justice manifested
in her c0untenance.
la five minutes more the train stopped,
there was violent letting down of the win
dows in the ear occupied by the two enrag-
ed passengers. and long duet Of cries or
shouts of the conductor" every body ~
this way ~ followed from the train.
What's the mat;er!" inquired the anx-
ious conductor. as be pokcd his head into
the car in haste.
This woman is as crazy as a loon-as
mad as March. here take her out said the
gentleman.
And this man-haS been pinching nsy
legs all the way from London, the impudent
scamp" retortcd the lady, glaring furiously
in his face.
4 quiet smile came over the face OF the
conductor as he remarked that be thought
he could explain the matter at issue, And
reaching his hand under the lady's seat, be
drew out a live goose which he had placed
there Il few moments before the train start
ed no, supposing the car would be occupied
the legs Of the aquatic fowl had been tied
all the while, but he had free use OF hi:
head and bill, and had been amusing him
self by pecking away at the lower limbs o
the lady We think that may be well calleC
new phase if not settler of the vexeC
goose question