Squatter sovereign., 1856-09-23
PUNCH ON LIFE ASSURANCE.

Punch gives the London Life Assurance
Companies dab on the number Of useless
inquiries that ore made OF applicants for
peiicies: ~
Punch says be has no objection to the
most scruiinizing inquiries being made be-
fore policy Is granted; on the contrary.
the more inmate the Investigation the bet
ter. And since the tseaty-fise or thify
questions by which i, il sought to discover
the physiology Of yourself and that oil
you: father, mother. grandparents. uncies,
aunts, cousins, brothers and sisters, is liz
sufficient, he begs to frame q few more,
conceived III. tie saline spirit which he
would add 10 the ''paEiicaiars required"
Only he would insist that nheneyer every
timing has been asked and everythi ng test
ed, the record and tie bargain. il made,
should be lrrevocable. For instance:
81. Did your great grandmother eyer
complain of having been frightened to
dpails
50. Are you in the hatits of reading
MIR. Allison's Histories, or the Daily Ad.
vertiser. or any other publication tending
TO lenet then lile7
33. Do you cross the street carefully,
and have you ever been run over by Pick
ford's vans. and how oftena
| 81. Have you an admission to the Zoo
logical Gardens if SO, do you liabitually
go close TO the dens Of tie carnivora. or
get into the serp-nt's cages2
35. Is your wife ssrong-minded wo.
man - hs *s ss
&c. Do you know any American, and
is there any chance Of ysur getting into
political OF other argument with the OWL
er of q revolver? s~
81. Are you polite man, who does
not mind running out of ho, Opera House
to get up a carriage on a wet night?
3S. Did you ever sit out an Elizabethan
Drama OF modern construction, and how
many years ago. and who attended You
medically, afterwards 1
80. Did you run after fancy preachers.
and DO they make you crys
40 What was the general state OF your
ancestors health, in the fifteenth and six
teenth centuries
Al. Was any member OF your family
ever swallowed ap BY an earthquake n
%. When you go to Gravesend is il,
by boat or rail-; and. in the former case,
do you always hold fast by ropes
43. Do you always take care not to tread
on orange peal in the streeti
Al. Have you ever been inflicted with
IIishmen. or any other epidemic
| 45. Who cuts your hair3
Now, let the officer add these, and any
number Of similar question. to their string
Of inquiries. And let them examine your
friends on oath, and your doctor as the A
mericans cross-examine a niger witness.
namely by putting him in a corner, aud
kicking his shins until he answers cate
goricaliy. And let them have half dog.
whose head is not made of board and let
the utmost be done to obtain information.
But, as afore said, a bargain should be q
| bargain-not, Of course, that one rogue
may make prize, but that niuety-nine
honest men who saxe-perhaps screw
through years OF weary toll, TO secure homes
for the loved ones when their natural pro-
iec,or shall be at rest, may not be disturb
ed By doubt whether their cherished
work has been carsl-ssly or clumsily done
and whether q eorporution--"thatw which
has neither a body to be kicked nor soul
to be"--otherwise disposed of,-may not
take advantage Of its own blunders. q
Mr.. Punch is justly proud Of his patent
leather boots. but were he a jurynan on a
trial where an Office disputed a policy. be
would eat those boots before giving the de.
fendant verdict.