Republican vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1857, 1856-10-18
HUMOROUS PARAGRAPHS.

Keep that man at distance who hate.
music and the laugh of child.
Hoops and HydropAo1ta. One virtue
at least, has been discovered in the ladies
hoop petticoat, mad dogs cannot bite the
wearers.
a3 Grandma said little urchin, sour
specs are upside down. Do you wear them
thus to see to sew? NO, my dear, was the
reply, I wear them so to see
A gentleman of Alabama was lying in
bed one morning, when friend, stepping
in, said hastily, R., breakfast is coming
in Let it come exclaimed R, with a
took of defiance, I am not afraid of it,!
We never injure our own character so
much as when We attack those of others
Bear this in mind.
A poor drunken Ioafer was picked up in
the street. There was no sense in his head,
no cents in his pocket, powerful scent in lii3
breath, and he was sent to the wateh-I1us6.
g A beautiful thought this, that we find in
one Of our exchanges:
If there is man who can cat his bread
IN peace with God and man, it is the man
who has brought the bread out Of the earth
1t is cankered with no fraud, it is wet with
no tears, it is stained with no blood
1t is related that when Col. Fremont stood
upon the top of tue Rocky Mountains, there,
beyond the level of organic life, a beautiful
bee lit upon his arm.--N Y Ercaing Post.
Two BIS will light on him in November.
Albany Atlas and Argus.
Female Poltties.--A young lady hearing
it stated that government, in this country,
wonld in future be carried on without par
tics, said 20 dear! I hope not If it comes
to that | hope papa will take us to live on
the continent
To make hens lay perpctually, hit them
.on the head with big club. Other modes
have been recommended, but this is the only
eAectual one.
If you wish to recollect a mans name, 90
security for his house-rent For keeping
your memory fresh, there is nothing like it.
Examine every thought as it springs up
in the mind. If it be good, nourish it; if
it be evil, resist it at its first appearance.
This will give us great advantage in our
conflicts, because these thoughts are weak at
first, but they grow strong by indulgence.
The first attack is easily repealed, but those
which follow are exceedingly difficult.
A young lady explained to printer the
other day, the distinction between printing
and publishing, and at the conclusion of her
remarks, by way of illustration, she said
you may print kiss on my cheek, but
you must not publish it,
The Vinegar-Faced Gentry-That very
able and ubiquitous sheet, IAN Exchange
Paper gives the following very plain state
ments, which we commend to the afflicted
There is class of men in every commu-
nifty, who go about with vinegar faces be-
cause somebody feels above them, or because
they are not appreciated as they should be,
and who have constant quarrel with what
they call their destiny. We hate such peo-
pie. They make all within their influence
uncomfortable. These men have usually
made grave mistake in the estimation of
their abilities, Or are unmitigated asses.-
Wherever this fault-fnding with ones con-
dition or position occurs, there is always
want of self-respeet. If you are right
down clever fellow, wash the worm-wood off
your face, and show your good will by your
good deeds. If people feel above you why
not return the compliment and feel above
them If they turn up their noses because
you are a mechanic, or farmer, or clerk.
turn up your nose a notch higher If they
swell when they pass you in the street, swell
yourself Deliver us from the whining fools
who go around like babies telling how peo-
pie abuse them, and whining because socic-
y will not take them by the collar and drag
them into decency.'