Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1856-10-22
EVENING STAR.
Scene in a New York Polics Court

lr ioH Tue Eicpndnt Cluo, by 90 Doesticks. ~ /
One case, of which Wagstaff took full notes,
was that of Edward Bobber, seafaring man
of very peculiar appearance, possessing some
remarkable characteristics of manner dress,
speech, looks and action. He was charged
with being drunk. In the way of physical
beauty Edward was decidedly dam aged ar
ticle. He had lost one arm by a snake bite,
and been deprived of an eye by the prema-
ture explosion of a pistol, which broke his
spectacles at the same time it eXtinguished
his sinister optic. The unexpected descent of
shipmate, from the tops, upon his head, had
turned his neck so that he seemed to be keep
ing perpetual Lookout over his shoulder with
his remaining eye His nose resembled half
ripe tomato, and q pair of warty excrescences
hung upon his face as if some one had shot
couple of marbles at him, which had stuck to
him for life. His complexion bore close re
semblance to the outside of a huckleberry
budding. His teeth, which were usually long,
projected backward, as if they had taken q
start to grow down his throat. This last pc
culiarty was, undoubtedly, one cause Of a re-
markable singularity of speech, which Sc
riously impaired his natural facility of con-
yersation. Some idiOsyncracy of disposition,
probably, had also something to do with this
lingual embarrassment, but certain it is that
Mr.. Edward Bobber never answered one ques
tion until he was asked another, to which last
Si'S eoO LSPiy ihtObuou
number one Whether his mental faculties
needed always second interrogative punch
ing up, or whether the fangs projecting down
ward retained one answer until displaced by
another, Wagstaf and his friends were una.
ble to decide but they truly believe that an
inquiry prOpounded to Edward Bobber, afore-
said, would have remained unanswered until
doOrnsday, unless second question followed
the first.
A transcript af a conversation between him
and the clerk Of the court read as follows:
Clerk-Where were you born
The prisoner removed his solitary orb from
its guardianship, over his left shirt sleeve,
rolled it slowly round until it manded a
fair view of the questioner, but said nothing
The clerk, nothing daunted, continued
" How long have you been in this country ?"
The face assumed look of intelligence, and
answer No. | came out
Edward-Broome county
Clerk-How old are you?
Edward-Two years.
Clerk-How long have you been drunk!
Edward-Thirty-f y-four years, seven months
and nine days
Clerk-Where did you get your liquor
Edward, (rolling his eye toward the j Judge)-
Been on a spree four days
Judge, very indignant)-Did you say I've
been on spree!
Edward-Old Mother Bidwelrs, down in
Mott street.
Clerk-Do you mean hereafter TO treat this
court respectfully?
Edward-No, sir, l hope not.
oficer with red hair-If you amt crazy,
I'm jackass.
Edward-Yes, sir, of course.
The excited Judge here commenced making
out his commitment, but the clerk, who began
to see the fun, thought best to ask him a few
more questions first, and accordingly inc quired
of Bobber what he traded in, as he seemed
cogitating upon the last remark of the red
haired officer until he had waved wroth, burst
out:
"Jack-ass! jack-ass, yes, you are jack
ass not doubt of it''
Clerk-Come, tell me what kind Of liquor
did you drink yesterday"
Edward-Soap, candles, coffee, bar lead
chickens, coal, pine kinuling wood, smoked
hams and white wood shingles
Judge, interfering ng)-Prisoner, you are only
getting yourself into trouble My patience
will give out. / can't stand everything Do
you think m made of patience
Edward-W hiskey; nothing but whiskey,
sir, upon my honor"
The last answer proved too much for the
gravity of the court. The Judge, the clerk,
the attendant officers, and all smiled audibly
A whispered word from the clerk explained
to the justice the true state of the case Ed
ward was discharged, and as he departed
from the court room an officer two blocks
away heard him, in answer to a request for
penny profered by little girl, give what was
undoubtedly intended as q detailed reply to
the last interrogative remark of the police
Justice.