Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1856-09-12
EVENING STAR.
HOW MR.. IsAACs BURNED HIS OWN
FINGERS
A Story Of Fifty T.e.l.I..

| John Smith, for whom there is a trunk which
| goes by express, cannot be found, and the
package is returned to the Office and John
Brown, who is suspicious that the contents OF
a certain bundle will not pay costs and
charges, refuses to receive the same, and the
bundle goes back to headquarters, while John
johnson is unable to pay freight and charges
to await an improvement in Mr.. Johnson
finances These unclaimed goods are known
to tho express folks as - old hoss" packages
The phrase old hoss" signifying that they
are not productive, and that all the animal
ever will be good for-to carry out the fig
ure-is his hide and shoes, for these packages
| do not often yield more than that proportion
| OF their value. After these ancient equines
are kept reasonable time, they are adver-
| tised as being for sale, " unsight unseen" and
they are shipped off, bag and baggage, to be
| sold to the highest bidder, after having been
duly advertised in the newspapers. AS these
''old hoss packages are sold without break
Ing bulk, the sale is much in the nature of a
lottery, the purchaser Of package not know
ing whether be is bidding for trunk full Of
| silks, with few diamond bracelets and neck
laces interspersed through the goods, or
whether he is buying in the patched corduroys
and hob nailed brogues of a gentleman en-
gagged In excavating on the railroad Not
hundred years since, an express company, To-
Gated not hundred miles from the city Of
Philadelphia, had one of these ''pig ina poke"
kind of sales, where very large stud of sold
hosses' was to be disposed of. There were
bundles large and small trunks heavy and
light, and packages of every conceivable
shape and style. The sale came off some body
got the prizes, if there were any, and some
body e!se got the blanks, of which there cer-
tainly were some, and the express company
pocketed the profit or the loss, as the case may
have been
Shortly after the sale-and after the "old
hoses" had been scattered and forgotten by
everybody except the purchasers-the agent
OF the express company was hailed one day
by stranger, who expressed great anxiety
to communicate something to him. The stran-
ger was little, sharp looking German, not
over cleanly in his person, or prepossessing in
his general appearance.
"Mr. S" says the little man, al wants to
shpeak nit you; something for your own goot
Mind! IdOn't care for der ffty t-o-k-L-e-r-s
but 1t for your own goOtn'
The stranger said he did not care for the
sum he named, but the manner in which he
drawled out the word :. dollars" the unction
with which he dwelt upon it, and rolled it like
sweet morsel upon nis tongue, abundanty
proved that the dollar was his god Besides,
the manner in which he introduced the dol
lars without any explanation to his meaning,
| showed what was uppermost in his mind
Well" responded Mr. s. to this strange
| salutation of the avaricious German, and
tchat is for my own sOOd'"
81 will tell you, Mr.. s., but mind I
don't care for der tJty t-O-t-t-e RS 1 can
afford to be sheated, for l is in de auction
business myselfs. or ,cW give you Dv
card >"
The card was produced from the breeches
pocket Of the little man, and Mr.. S read upon
Its greasy surface, that Mr.. Isaacs las we will
call the strangely was general dealer in Sec
ond hand goods, and that he moreover sold
at auction. Next to the "t-o-l-l-e-r-s," Mr.
Isaacs paid special attention to the circula-
ton of his cards, and his hand went to his
pocket in search Of the bit of pasteboard, as
though it was so used to il that the operation
had become purely mechanical.
Mr.. S. could not CLEAN from the card what
was '' for his own gOOt, and so he told the
little man.
"W ait awhile. continued the latter, (" and
L will tell you; but you see 1 don't mind der
Etyto t-e-r-S :"
$50 1 perceive responded the express
man, dryly.
mo. for L do goot business myselfs; I
wiA-Oh Idtd siUe you my card -
From sheer force of habit the little man
plunged his hand into his pocket in search of
a card at the allusion tc his business but re-
Il
" document" to Mr.. s., he finished the sem
tence he was uttering in the manner we hav,
described
"Well, you see, Mr.. S your Express Com
pauy is large, and make goot deal of mon
ish, and l thinks it wrong you 20 to people who
sheats; but mind don't care for dor fffy
O-t-Ee-r :"
But what about the fifty dollars - inter
posed he cf tic express. becoming somewhat
wearied with his money loving friend.
"Ah! L will come to that soon You see
it is for your own gOOt to employ honest auc
tiOneers l am In dat business. L will give
OH, did gtre yo~ my card 20
The inevitable right hand went into the
breeches again, but it was again withdrawn
| empty, as usual.
own goot say SO, for don't care for der fifty
t-0-E-I-s-r-S' / can lose de monish, for dc
! cot business. 1 will-Oh! L did giVs goa.
my cGrd!'
Mr. S was becoming tired of the everlast-
ing preamble, and he gave Mr.. Isaacs hint
to that effect The latter promised to cut the
matter short, and after repeated assurances
Cf how entirely Indifferent he was respecting
"der ffty { o H. rs, and frequent offers
Of a fresh tender OF his pocket advertisements,
which offers invariably ended with OH
did stue goa my card 90 he proceeded to tell
the story of the event that had e1erted him
50 much We give it in his own words, re-
GREETING that We cannot portray his manner
with his language.
"You sees, Mr.. S., see de advertisem snt
| in de paper that you will sell big lot of what
you call unclaimed packages, insight, un-
| seen. Now, thinks L, me make some monish ;
here is goot chance. You see l deals IN
| second hand tings. L will give-O9. dtd
give you my card! Mind, dis is all for your
own goot, for don't care for der .ffty tot
| lie r-St
| "Wel, 1 goes down to de auction store
where desc insight, unseen packages was to
be seen, and sees dere a black man, der bor-
ter Of der sthore MIR. S. dis is all for you
own goot don't care for ter fifty t-o-t
| f.e-r-s, L do goot business; L sells goots by
auction myself, will-Oh! 1 did gtUs gOi
my card"
| HWell, says to dis black borter, here
half alto l-l-e-r for you shust open some o
desc drunks what unsight, unseen, and no
bodys know any ting about it De borter b,
gets bunch of keys, and he takes my half
/ a tool. l-e.r and h "A oDeDs some of der run K