Cooper's Clarksburg register. [volume] (Clarksburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1851-1861, 1856-11-21

right up to a feller what's in strange
country, I'm the chap TO square your bill
for fodder to a figure, when you fotch' il
up. That's my way o. doing business,
Kurnell."
"I have no doubt of it. SIR" said the
clerk, smiling. and handing him the book
for that purpose, asked him to register his
name.
Do what 2" inquired the stranger,
somewhat astonished.
"Register your nsmk and residence in
this book, SIR"
"Write it down thaJ?"
{" Yes, SIR" I.4.z
" Come, now, kyfnell, none O. your
tricks" said the Holster, with a sly smile
on his countenance and after a moments
pause. Fl
20, sir, it's no rick assure you. We
require this of all visitors. as much for
their own as our jene6t."
"You don't tel %
Yes, sir, thai is fact"
Want TO knq " whether they Kin write,
I reckon. WAY that's on the squar.-
When feller goes away from hum. he
ought to showJhis edication. not only
larned TO write when l was a shaver, but
got up purity high in the figures. I'll
give sJecimen of my autobiography, as
old Squire Smith calls writin, in darned
short oder; and the traveller took the
pen. tuned the book in an oblique direc-
tion, snd squaring himself to suit. leaned
over ne book to write. His oddity at
tracpd the attention OF all in the office,
inclrding the two fops. who. amused at
hisAemarks, gathered about him at the
clex's desk. The pen in his hand had
toIched the book. when he paused. and.
afer rehecting moment, raised his head, I,
ad addressing the clerk, said:
Kurnell, do you want all of feller's
,ame 90
1--WE would like to have your full
'name."
Full name 4! Wall. that's a puzzler.
You see my family name is Hemp6eld.
then my Christian is John Isaiah. that
thar's John Isaiah Hempfeld. amt it o.
/" Yes sir.''
"Wall. then. the boys down our way,
considerin me right smart chap, kind a
gin me a second christenin-they call me
Hoss Head"
This information, SO innocendy given
caused a loud burst Of Laughter from the
crowd Hoss Head participated in il, for
he loved a laugh. and could be as merry
as the next one.
:" A rale smart name, ain't it boys 2"
he asked. after the laughter had ceased.
Would youputitdown in the books?"
. Certainly, certainly" cried all.
In few minutes the stranger, after
giving his pen many circular movements
over the book. and changing his position
several times, succeeded in writing his ad-
dress in full. as follows: "Mr John
Isaiah Hemgtfeld, Hoss Head. PsrsiUnaon
Post Office. YelEow county. Indiana He
pointed to this specimen Of his " chicko-
graphp." with pride. and seemed wonder
fully pleased with the fulsome praise be-
slowed upon it by the gentlemen present.
Expressing desire TO get fixed up. the
clerk showed him to the wash broom, when
the two fops, who had endevored to en-
Joy the Hoosier's greenness, were struck
with an idea-about such an one as gen.
orally racks the bedulled brain of men
il men they can be called-of their stamp.
Anxious to display their smartness, and
to create amusement at the expense Of
another, the fops seized the porter's
brushes. and giving the crowd aknowing
wink, as much as TO say. we'll make fun
for you,' approached Hoss Head.
Shall we bwrush you, sirrah p asked
one. endeavoring to play the servant.
Wal. now, by thunder = exclaimed
Hoss Head. as he dropped the soap from
his hands. and ceased his ablution. I
always wor good at guessin.' bat this
beats all krea!ion. Look here Kurnell-
addressing the clerk no sooner seed
these lellers to night, than guessed right
out they war sarvants.'
The boisterous laugh which followed.
was to the great chagrin of the fops.
They jest look, he continued-every
hit being heartily enjoyed by all but the
fops-'as if they warn't made for nuthin'
else but to scrape the mud from fsl,
lows legs. and do little chores round a
tavern. Lhunk that. when l first seed
EN-; an by thunder, warn't right,
though? Brush me off? Sartainly
and with digni6ed air) mind you make
a clean sweep. or III report you to the
Kurnell, thar
The fOps. finding that Hoss Head had
thrown the joke upon them, endeaYored
to recover so they informed him that he
could not be brushed unless he paid in
advance.
Pay in advance i. was Hoss Heads
indignantreply. Thunder and salvation
don't the tavern pay you for yur lazy. tri
fling work? reckon you think Pm hin.
der green, and want to skin me, don'l
you p
Pom onah. we dwon't.' replied. one.
'We-ah speak the truth answ cred the
other.
By this time. Hoss Head was vielO.