davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Ashland union. [volume] (Ashland, Ashland County, Ohio) 1854-1868, 1856-11-12
Humorous.
: From :. The Humprs of Falconbridge y
BILL WHIFFLETREE'S S DEN FAL
EXPERIENCE.

HAVE you ever had the tooth ache ?
IF not, then blessed is your ignorance,
for it is indeed bliss to know nothing
about the tooth-ache, as you know moth
ing, absolutely nothing about pain-the
acute, double distilled, rectifed agony
that turks about the roots or fangs of
treacherous tooth. But ask a sufferer
how it feels, what it is like, how it oper-
ates, aud you may learn something the
oretieally which you may pray heaven
that you may not know practically.
But there's poor William Whifietree
he's been through the mill, fought,
bled, and died Slightly with the REIN
ed, essential oil of the agony caused by
raging tooth. Every time we read
Othc1zo, we are half inclined to think
that more than half of lagos devilish-
ness came from that raging tooth,'
which would not let him eleep, but tor
tured and tormented "mine ancient "
so that he became embittered agoinst all
the world, and blackamoors in particu-
lar.
William Whiffletree's case is a very
strong illustration of what tooth-ache is,
aud what it causes people to do; and
affords pretty fair idea of the manner
in which the tooth and sufferer are
incidentally and morally treated by the
mateJia nsedica, and friends at large.
William Whifaetree-or Bill as
most people called him-was q sturdy
Young fellow of two-and-tweAty, of
poor but respectable parents and ten
ded the dry goods store of one Ethan
Rakcstraw, in the village of Rockbottom
State Of New York.
One unfortunate day, for poor Bill,
there came to Rockbottom galvanized
looking individual, rejoicing in the eu-
phonium of DIR. Hannibal Orestes
Wangbanger. As surgeon, he had
according to the album-full of certifi-
cates-operated in all the scientific
branches Of Amputation, from the scalp
lock to the heel tap, upon Emperors,
Kings, Queens and common folks but
upon his science in Incidental way, he
spread and grew luminous In short,
DR.. Wangbanger had not been long in
Rockbottom before his gift of gab,'
and unadultnrated propensity to elougate
the blanket, set every body, including
poor Bill Whiffletree, in furor to have
their teeth cut, fled scraped, rasped,
reset, dug out, and FURNISHED up
Now Bill, being, as we aforestated,
muscularly developed youth, got up In
the most sturdy New Hampshire style,
his teeth acre teeth, in every way calcu'
lated to perform long and strong; but
Bill was fast imbibing counter-jumper
notions, dabbling in stiff dickeys, creased
soaplocks, and other fancy fab -dabs,
supposed to be essential in cutting a
swarth among Se fair sex.
The Ashland union. [volume] (Ashland, Ashland County, Ohio) 1854-1868, 1856-11-12

Church ET1oUErrE.-Let the lady
advance one pace beyond the door Of
the pew she wishes to enter, halt, about
face, and salute. The pew must then
be vacated, by such gentlemen as are i9
it, By flank movement. The squad
should rise simultaneously when the la
dy presents herself, and face by the
right flank, then deploy into the aisle;
the head man facing the lady, and the
rest passing to his rear and right, the
direction of the line being changed by q
right counternarcb, and forming again
Iioe up and down the aisle, still faced
by the right flank The lady, whom she
sees the coast is clear, completes her sa'
lutte, aud advances to her position in the
DOW. The gentlemen break off by angles
from the rear, and resume their places,
Great care should be taken of course by
other parties, not to enter the aisle when
this evolution is in progress, until 1t is
completed If the lady has any claims
to aristocracy, the preaching had best be
stopped to avoid insult.
We have never seen the ridiculous
ness of emptyipg whole seat-full OF
gentlemen, to give lady the inner
place, more clearly illustrated than IN
the above military '' evolutions." Why
will ladies insist upon slip disgorging
into the aisle its gentlemen occupants;
before she will take seat 1t Is not
so at concerts and other assemblies. The
present church fashion in this respect IS
supremely foolish, and sensible womea
should put an end to it:
The Ashland union. [volume] (Ashland, Ashland County, Ohio) 1854-1868, 1856-11-12

ONE day the good people of the village
of H-were attracted by some splen-
did specimens of chirography which were
hung up in the post-ofice, and in the
principal store; and with them weru
small notices announcing that Charles
Hoffman would open an evening school
for the purpose of teaching penmanship,
on the following Monday. Ladies and
gentleman were both invited to attend
Monday evening came, and the village
school-room, which had been secured Tor
the purpose, was we'll filed with boys
and young men, and girls and maidens.
Mr. Hoffman made his appearance, and
by the time he bad spoken dozen words
the scholars all liked him. He was a
young man, not more than fye-and-
twenty, with features of more than man.
ly beauty; eyes ofrich, deep, dark hazel
q high, full open brow of remarkable
fairness above which the rich, glossy
brown hair lay in most loveable ringlets.
His form was manly; tall, stout, and
nobly proportioned; and his voice and
manner of speaking, won upon his hear
ers at once.
He commenced the duties of the eve
ming by giving out the books, and among
the elder scholars the whisper went
around that be couldn't calculate to
saake much by so small q tuition fee,
and serving such books out for nothing.
However they went at the work, and
their teacher was not long in proving
himself capable and faithful.
Among the scholars was Mabel WIN
ship. She was the acknowledged beauty
of the place and from her purity Of
mind and sweetness of disposition, ad.
aed to. her beauty, she had gained the
title Of the "Village Queen" And yet
no one was jealous of her. Had she
been vain. or exhibited any pride in her
acknowledged position, it might have
been different. But Mabel was always
the same meek, mild, generous creature
and everybody loved her. None envied
her beauty, though many mother pray
ed that her daughters might be like
Mabel Winship.
At the end of a week the writing,
master seemed to have taken peculia'
interest in Mabel. Ho did not gram
her any more attention than he did tn
others while the school was in session
but then his bearing towards her wa
more deferential, and his voice sank t.
a lower, stranger tone when he address
ed her. One evening he walked ou
from the school-room with her and asket
if he might enjoy the pleasure OF re
manning BY her side until she reaehe'
her home. She could not refuse this
The Ashland union. [volume] (Ashland, Ashland County, Ohio) 1854-1868, 1856-11-12

INcREAsE OF JEws.--An intelligent
writer in the North american ReuieaO
supposes that no class of emigrants has
increased more rapidly in this country
than the Hebrew. In 1850 man might
count upon his fingers all the syna-
gogues in the land now there are at
least quarter of million Jews, from
eighty to ninty synagogues, and mul-
titude of smaller communities, whore a
nucleus exists which will soon grow in
to synagogue. The city of New York
alone has twenty synagogues and thirty
thousand Jews-about one-twentieth
part of the population being such
There are synagogues in all the chief
cities of the seaboard-two in Boston,
FIVE in Philadelphia, five in Baltimore,
three in New Orleans, two in Chareston,
and four in Cincinnati. 'y 49, - a.so,l Z
The Ashland union. [volume] (Ashland, Ashland County, Ohio) 1854-1868, 1856-11-12
THE STAR sPANeL ed BANNER

If the French Hymn of Liberty, the
Marseilles, was composed under exciting
circumstances, the Star Spangled ban.
ner was inspired By events no less pat.
riotie, by our distinguished countryman
Mr.. Francis Scott Key, an able and ell
oquent lawyer, an accomplished gentle
man, and man of noble and generous
impulses During the war with the
British in 1915, Mr.. F. Scott Key vss
residics G, ssrz.at !
the detention of dear and intimate
friend, he started to obtain his release,
He went as far as the mouth of Pataps.
CO river which enters the Chesapeake
Bay, and is about eighty-fve miles north
of the Potomac river. Here he was ar
rested and carried on a British man Of
war, belonging to the British feet sta
toned at Fort McHenry, the lombard.
ment of which he was compelled to wit.
ness. The English Admiral boasted
before Mr.. Key, that he would take the
Fort in a few hours, and the city Of
Baltimore within the two succeeding
days. The bombardment continued dd-
ring the whole day and following night,
without making an impression either on
the strength of the work or the spirit Of
the garrison.
Our patriotic countrymen stood on the
deck watching through the smok5 that
sometimes obscured it that banner of
freedom waving over the fort. Al
length night came, and he could sse it
no more. Still he watched, until at
length dawn began to bring its objects
around into distinctness. With beat
ing heart he turned towards the FORT
and there waving in the morning breeze,
light and uninjnred, was the banner OF
I'D .:ss. -. A. l.. "a 1ssi5r o. freeaon,
and independence, then in its early days,
1t was at this moment of joy and tri-
umph that Francis Scott Key, underths
influence Of patriotic excitement, CONS
posed the Star Spangled Banner. AT
ter Mr.. Key had been liberated, and the
British had retired from Fort McHenry
without attempting the attack on the
city of Baltimore, he contemplated his
patriotic hymn, which was enthusiastic
cally received then, and has ever been
considered as one of tho national songs
of the country.
The Ashland union. [volume] (Ashland, Ashland County, Ohio) 1854-1868, 1856-11-12
AN IMPATIENT JURYMAN.


An Arkansas correspondent of the
New Orleans Picay'e'ac gives the follow:
ing as authentic
You are all fond, Of cracking jokes al
the expense Of Arkansas now here ie
one on your State, absolutely true.
got it from an eyewitness.
The District Court in one OF your
northern parishes was in session-'tyas
the first day of the court-time, after
dinner. Lawyers and others had dined
and we're sitting out before the hotel,
and long, iank, unsophisticated .oounA
tryman came up and unceremonl9psiy
made himself one of 'em, and remarked
fGentlemen, wish you would go on
with this court, for want togo home
Il left Betsy a lookout. lIa1assa
eAbr said one of the lawyers, and
nrav sir. what detains you at court z
WHY, sir said the countryman, ; I'm
fotched here as a jury, and they say if
I 90 home, they will find me. and they
moutn't do that, as 1 live good piece.
What jury are you on p asked 2 law
yer. ,.i oi.5a zzyszgJ aa1 Gi9d3
.sa' What jury.?' Up :ao .mof
!. i Yes, what jury?1 CIR Grand n.Fa'I or trayff's
juryP' n so..-J oI.oi. l,5,tio,
Grand or travis jury : Dad,fetc9ned Dias'tf9
- : : Veil; said the lawyer, 'did- the
Judge charge you p - i.tV y'f. 2s2.
well, squire, said be the little fol-
low that sits up in the pulpit ard ]KI klnGer ,fA
bosses it over the crowd, gin us jan;
but don't know whether no e's'rgce
The crowd broke up in ? rear OF
laughter, and the sheriff called cosrb
The Ashland union. [volume] (Ashland, Ashland County, Ohio) 1854-1868, 1856-11-12

HAurunx.-Lawrence Labree thus sings OF
the beauties Of Autumn
TAe poets may sing of the beauties ef Spring
Pretty birds AID the perfume of roses
/ would sooner in rhyme sing of Autumn's rich
prime,
And its day that with meilowness closes
Onher rich hharvestsheayes,a and hermany hued
leaves,
And the wall Of her solemn-toned dirges
That float on the breeze through the old forest
trees,
Like the murmurs of Oceans low sarges.
There's beauty no doubt, in the first budding
out
OF the earliest flowers and the singing.
Of birds as they wing through the hues OF the
Spring,
While the air with their music is ringing;
But give me the perfume of old Autumn's
bloom,
And the tints of the forest and meadow,
And her lakes that lie meath the blue Of the
sky
And her valleys that sleep in the shadow
The Ashland union. [volume] (Ashland, Ashland County, Ohio) 1854-1868, 1856-11-12

CuaIous FEEI1Ne.--Sallic Jopes says
that when she vas in love she felt as if
she was in artunnel, with train of cars
coming both Ways adi 9go.a sses q 81
Jimicks says that when he was in love
he felt as if he were being hung-and
had cat in his hat and peck Of bum
BILE bees under his wajstcoat. 77Jimicks
knows the symptoms.
The Ashland union. [volume] (Ashland, Ashland County, Ohio) 1854-1868, 1856-11-12
p0drp
Patriotism.

AT summers eve, when streaming fly
Wild lurid clouds, by storm Winds drive
And angry bolts along the sky,
Awake tha rolling peal Of heaven,
Nor stained, nor dimIned, but all the while
Depth beyond depth in light afar,
Serenely shine, forever smile
The sweet blue heavens and egerg star
And thus, ~hen foul and fierce and loud
Revolted Factions servile band
Stirs to wild hate the wavering crowd,
And maddens Ger a generous land
True as those living orbs. that roll
Through the clear vault of azure night,
Above the storm, the patriot soul
Dwells constant in immortal light.
The weak May blench. the traitor fall,
And paltry spirits welcome shame,
His heart unchanged, in field or hall,
: Owns but his country's sacred name,-
And, promptto meet her high behest,
The impulse of his soul replies,
He folds her colors on his breast,
And with her lives. or for her dies.
The Ashland union. [volume] (Ashland, Ashland County, Ohio) 1854-1868, 1856-11-12
9 4rettg gtol.p.
THE VILLAGE QUEEN.
Or
THE WRITING MASTERS BRIDE

BY eYLvANus COBB JR-
The weekly Minnesotian. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. Territory) 1852-1858, 1856-12-20
Territorial Items.
From the St. Anthony Axpress.

The REMAINS OF MAN FoUxD.-We
learn that John Mcleod, Esq, of Glenc re,
while engaged in survey of the Territorial
road from Grimshaws in Mcleod Company
to Fort Ridgeley, discovered the skeleton OF
a human being about midway between the
two places. From appearances Mr.. Mcleod
thinks that the unfortunate person persisted
during the cold weather last winter. There
were the remnants of clothing and few rags
of black oil cloth found in the neighb"rhood
which had been torn into fragments by the
wolves or other wild beasts. Who or what
be was will probably be never known, bu
most likely some lone traveller attempted to
cross the plains between Fort Ridgley and
Grimshaw and persisted in the attempt. 1t
is horrible to die alone in the centre of a
wide prairie with no person nigh to soothe
the last silent breath.
Persons cannot be TOO careful about VEN
turing out in unknown lands in the winter
time. Poor DR.. Ripley and Mr.. Collier of
Hutchns son, both persisted last winter by
getting lost on the prairies.
Hay TN THE RURAL DIsrRIcTs.-Full one
half of the hay put up for winter use in the
counties of Mcleod, Sibley and Carver, has
been burnt up by fires. The Fremont Com
pany on Silver Lake, in Carver county, lost
eighty tons of hay last week, which was set
on fire by the Indians. 1t escaped the an
nual autumnal fires, but the indians that are
pr,wling around made bonfire out of it
much TO the loss Of Messrs. Alex. Moore,
Lewis Harrington, John II. Stevens and the
other members Of the Town Site of FIRE.
ssSyst, -
The weekly Minnesotian. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. Territory) 1852-1858, 1856-12-20
Melancholy Case.

Doctor James H. Bogardus, of Kingston,
Ulster county, New York, died at the Gir'rd
House, on Sunday last, after very short ILL
ness, under singular circumstances.
The deceased was about 43 years old, OF
the highest responsibility, and ranked the
first in his profession in the country in which
he resided. For about two years he had
been engaged to Miss Elizabeth Hamilton, a
young lady also resident of Kingston, and
on two occasions, days were fixed for their
nuptials, on each of which death presented
a barrier to the consummation of their wish
es. On the former instance the death OF his
brothers child rendered postponement OF
the day of their contemplated marriage nee
essary, and both the Doctor and his affianced
bride attended the funeral. On the seconC
occasion fixed for their union, Miss Hamil-
toms sister lost child, and again they boil
attended funeral service instead of theli
own marriage ceremony.
On Monday of last week Doctor Bogardu-
came to the city, and put up at the GirarG
House, in Chamber street, and on retiring
complained to Mrs. Davis, with whom he
was we'll acquainted, that he was quite I'M
we'll. The following day, not able to leave
his bed, DIR. Say.e and other eminent physi
clans were called in and consulted. After
several days. attendance, they came to the
conclusion that there was something more
than disease of the body in the case of then
patient, and they intimated to him the fac :,
whereupon Doctor Bogardus frankly &C
knowledged to his medical advisers that ht
was deeply attached to young lady to whom
he was to be married On Tues lay, (yester-
day. that their marriage had been twice
frustrated by death, and he now feared thai
his own illness would prove third interpo-
sition to his happiness.
DIR. Sayre perceiving the sad effect which
the fear of another disappointment had upo'
his mind, suggested the propriety of sending
a Geographic dispatch to Miss Hamilton t.
come to New York without delay, for the
purpose of carrying out the wishes of Doctor
Bogardus. The dispatch was accordingly
sent, and Miss Hamilton arrived about
o'clock on Sunday morning, and as early as
possible, some of their friends residing in
Newark, were sent for to attend the marriage
Ceremony.
At one o'clock the same dav DR.. Sayre
visited his patient, and found him so mucl
better that he considered it would he unnec-
essary for him to attend again. At halfpast
two o'clock the parties were united, and DR..
Bogardus expressed his thankfulness in be-
ing enabled to carry out his intentions o.
marriage to the lady in question. Their
friends then retired for a few moments, for
the purpose of partaking of some refresh
ments. He then remarked that he felt so
much better that lie would get up, and at
once proceeded to raise himself in bed; his
bride perceiving his efforts torise, went to as
sst him, only to discover that he was expr-
ing in her arms. She instantly sprangt to the
bell and rang for assistance; but before their
friends could reach the room, lie was corpse
N. Y. Tribune.
The weekly Minnesotian. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. Territory) 1852-1858, 1856-12-20
what the Future Of Kansas should be-
opinion Of Mtssourian.
From the st. Louis Democrat, 26th inst.


Considering Kansas in relation to Nilsson
ri. we cannot hesitate in declaring it is i'm
measurably better for us that she should en-
ter the Union as Free State. Every negro
in Kansas occupies the place of white la
boring man. There are about twenty five
thousand Shareholders in Missouri, to eight
or nine hundred thousand non-slaveholders,
and if the interests of the majority are to be
preferred, no sane man can doubt OF the pro-
priety and justice of our position, or OF the
advantages which would accrue to missouri
from making Kansas tree State. IL Is not
alone that the negro occupies the place OF the
white man. but that the tares choke and
witber the wheat. White labor thrives but
noorly in the presence of slave labor. Tie
slaveholders would be benefited to certain
degree by making Kansas a slave State, be-
cause it would increase the value OF their
slaves but what are the interests OF twen-
ty-five thousand, comp red with the intel
ests of nearly a million? Kansas is field
for white labor for our native agriculturists
and mechanics, for the hardy labo:ers from
Germany and Ireland, and not domain for
any rich aris:ocracy, is what we prefer, and
what every true Democrat in the State, eve
nv friend Of commerce and industry, should
prefer. The interest Of one class of our com
munity should not be permitted like Aaron's
rod, to devour and swallow up every other
interest. Let us judge of Kansas by Califor-
mia. II slavery had been legalized t. ere, the
simple act of removing slave from Virginia
to California, would, according to Governor
Wise, have quadrupled his value, making him
worth five thousand, instead Of fourteen OF
fifteen hundred dollars. With such induce
ments the shareholders would have precipl-
tated themselves and their slaves upon the
new country, and in the very first year, mig
gers would have swarmed in the mines like
iocusts. The young and courageous men Of
new and other States would have to compete
in that rich field of enterprise with combi
| nation of labor and capital which would have
| excluded them or crushed them and instead
of young white men winning the lavish treas
ures of California, slave owners or rich spec
ulators who would purchase slaves, would
monopolize those treasures. The conse
quences which would have followed the le
galization of Slavery in California, will, in I
less degree, follow its establishment in Kan
sas. The few will gain at the expense
the many, the rich at the expense of tn
poor, the slave owner at the expense of tn
working man.
The weekly Minnesotian. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. Territory) 1852-1858, 1856-12-20

A BEAUTIFUL GAME.-The Madison Wis
Journal shows up a new game played off in
that section at the recent election. The
travelling clerk of the court i'm several of the
counties, journeys from place to place, and
makes out naturalization papers for foreigners
without charge, in case they will vote the
Shamocratic ticket.
The Journal states that notwithstanding
the Supreme Court of last year decided it
illegal and wrong, and forbid its continuance.
the clerks still persist in it, and that several
hundred votes have been thus made in that
county this fall. ~54o = z
The weekly Minnesotian. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. Territory) 1852-1858, 1856-12-20
NuCOLs. KINNUE 4 CO..
w WApr ACpJCIyJ TIP Al MIDI CNCNTo'

M HOLESALE and Retail Dealers in STOVES, TIN
wv WARE AGRICULTURAL IMPLEMENTS, &C.,
Corner of Exchange and St. Anthony Streets (near the
American Hotel,) St. Paul, Minnesota, opening
their large and carefully selected stock, consisting
part Of Cooking and Parlor Stoves of the latest and
approved patterns, Tin, Plate, Pig Tin, Pig Lead Bar
and Sheet Lead Copper Bottoms, Braziers and Timed
Sheet Copper Sheet Zinc, Sheet Iron, and Nails of all
sizes; Window Glass and Shades White Lead and Zinc
Paints, Manila Ropi, &c.
FARMING IMPLEMENTS, such Flows, Cultivators, Gull
tvator Harrow Teeth, Grain Cradles, Scythes and
Snaths, Handled and Garden Rakes two, three, and
four pronged German and CastSteel Forks Shovels,
Spades, Mattocks Picks Grub and Hand Hoes, Hay
Knives, Straw Cutters, Pruning Shears Prer Scythes
HEAVY HARpwARE.-Anvis, Vices, Bellows, Hand and
Sledge Hammers Axes, Hotches, Rasps Files, Carriage
Springs Axes, Carriage and Tire Bolts Crowbars,
Wagon Boxes, Coil Log and Pump Chains, Well Wheels
and Buckets, Cstern Pumps, Brass, Enammeed, and
French Kettles, Hollow Ware generally Sad and
lire Irons
Also general assortment of Japanned and Tin Ware
All sorts of Tin Copper and Sheet Iron Work done to
der This stock have purchased almost exclusively
from the manufacturers, and therefore enabled to
sell at the lowest rates The public respectfully In
ed to call and examine before purchasing elsewhere.
81. Paul, June Is. d1m-wtf