St. Charles Republican intelligencer. (St. Charles [Charles City], Iowa) 1856-1857, 1856-11-27

a good woman-and please leave thi
room in a trifle shorter than half
dozen seconds ..#..r. vain.5a~
"Dcar, Mr.. Phumble +! Ten dollar
-as live why that's enough to pa,
for half a dozen such keepsakes =
What winning way the mans got
You are a jewel, Mr.. Phumble-tha
you are" ~........ -s,
| And you're confounded old swind
Ter Ten dollars gone to her apa
cious pocket! / wish my heart wa
made of iron. -it-,sr +. .ataE.
| Well, the fires burning at least
| Crack-crack-wh -whizz-tur-r-r wha
a cheerful glow it sends through tn,
room But it cost ten dollars. That's
very much like lighting cigars will
ten dollar bills. s- -. e.,
| " Well, what am l to do for shirt?'
Thank fortune, and my usual foresight
Pve got half dozen in my chest-my
wash-stand rather, as it is now. Wha
a wonderful knack have of "killine
two birds with one stone, half {
dozen sometimes. Now that chest an
swers all the purpose of a mante
piece, a side table for books, papers
and eating table sometimes, and now
it comes in play as wash-stand, ant
the inside a perfect museum! Linen
cigers, pipe, tobacco, matches
schnapps,' letters, and 'other articles
too numerous to mention.' Oh, there's
a great deal in knowing how to ar
range things. knoao woman could
not arrange, and economize, and turn
everything to advantage, half as we'll
as / could. .g:4 ..
Moses and the prophets if the
water hasn't leaked out of the wash
bowl, and got mixed up with my
linen and other fixings! Crash-slar
dash /; there goes the rest of the wa
ter, bowl and all, right on my shirts
Bowl all smashed to pieces, another
expense /! guess that wont do for a
wash-stand, without I make a place
for my linen under the bed. 4 capi.
tai idea I'll arrange it all tomorrow
Well, I'll have to dry shirt before
| can wear one. g. ... -. -:Ef e.. ...T
| There it hangs on the back of a
chair before the blazing fire-looking
for all the world like a shirt on a
bean pole' 1t reminds me of an an
swer lady once gave me. l saw
some sort of an under garment once
drying before the fire, like my shirt
Miss" said to a young lady in
the room, can you inform me what
that outlandish thing is?"
"That," she answered with blush
is a shimmyset."
She didn't think heard her when
she said in low tone:
II will bet my old shoes that man
isn't married /" aar
A queer name, truly, that shimmy-
set.' should think shimmy-rest or
hang would be more proper.
All, what tale-bearers these women
are? How soon the story of my wig
went over town, magnifed and in
creased until l find out my teeth are
false. Told of it to my teeth, too
and then left me to chew the cud of
my solitary fancies. Well, well, l was
in love (!! the other day and then
l got the mitten: (this was by a
young talebearer, just beginning to
develop her natural propensities.) l
was told, too, that l was dead, and
that my spirit had communicated to
this world the astonishing fact that
the reason | was never married was
because ! was the victim ola coquette.
Of course every word is true. How
can l deny the stories of respectable
scandal-managers? But l will throw
down the glove" to these respecta-
BILE ]" old, &c, and to every story say
"prove it." b.
Women are nuisances, with few
exceptions. | look around my humble
tenement and can't help congratula-
ting myself on being free from their
scandalizing presence. Home, home,
sweet, sweet home!
"Home is where love H."
says somebody. Whom have l tc
love? And echo answers "whom p
but it doesn't answer, what" Hur
rah for the neuter gender Here's a
bachelors solace-a bachelors show
to make home happy" a good cigar
Puff, puff. Float away, care and
trouble float away, Susan Cable,
tale-bearers and scandal-mongers, all
float away with the blue smoke. [Puf,
puff l believe I am the most con.
tented man in the world. Like Sci
kirk, = ''-6.s'',. '...1 ~ ''a
! 81 am monarch of all Isurvey.D
if don't look out of the window
! Puff, puff. wouldn't be married
man for all the world. Puff, puff.
And something seems to say
"Do you know the reason why Jack
didn't eat his supper?"
Ten o'clock as / live |! and church
will commence in half an hour. How
can ever get ready? Ishall have te
wear the shirt as it is. AS good luck
would have it, the bosom isn't wet
and as that is the only part shown, il
wont make a diff Of bitterance. A