davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Trinity journal., 1856-01-26
II AT Nj Il N.

We wonder if it has struck anybody, as it
has ourselves, that the race Of fat men
those personifcationS of jolity and good
cheers becoming, if not become, extinct.
We have fat Durham oxen, and fat Suffolk
pigs, whose obesity is stimulated by premi-
ums and public applause but in what CON
dition is the nobler animal, man Have
the high prices Of beef and -four anything
to do with it A? Or, do we think too much.
jFs;. I'D ,lii,4sis r. s-hsrd? When the lluatrous
KossutI first looked upon the living repre-.
sentativss Of Yankee land, he exclaimed ::
" Mine Gott vat an Intelligent boobies y
His propensity to Hattsr, even could not in
duce him to add, against the truth, " how
fat p Now we have a weakness for fat
people a weakness shared by our friend,
julius Caesar. That excellent gentleman
remarks, see Shakespeare, meaning BilP u:
Let me have men about me that are fat,
Sleek-headed men, and such sleep a-nghts:
Yond' Cassus has lean and hungry look,
He thinks too much-such men are dangerous"
Rather than the " lean and hungry" Cas-
5ius, give us such a man as the " fat knight"
honest Sir John Falstaff. He carves out
his jokes as he would capon or haunch
of yenison, where there is cut and come
again and lavishly pours out on them the
oil of gladness. His tongue drops fatness,
and in the chambers of his brain " it SHOWS
of meat and drink" He keeps up perpetu-
al holiday and open house, and we live with
him in a round Of invitations to a rump and
dozen" .... f. H..s.. ..
Who ever heard of a fat man stealing an
umbrella or robDns hen-roost or q
clothesline or committing a murder, or ma
king a long speech Depend upon It, they
are the safest menliving and the reason why
so many rogues are about is that the aver
age weight of our degenerate race is about
l4O. instead of 200 as it ought to be. Let
US have more fat men by all means even II
turkeys are twenty cents pound '--00'-
lost's Paper.
The Trinity journal., 1856-01-26
h. TRINITY COUNTY, CAL SATURDAY MORNING. JANUARY 26
A NEW REMEDY FOR THE PILEs.-From mo-

A NEW REMEDY FOR THE PILEs.-From mo-
tives of delicacy we withhold the name OF
the estimable young lady who inquired at
the apothecary shop for a derrick. The clerk
was sadly puzzled, until she explained that
she had read in the papers how derrick
had been successful in the removal of piles,
and that she thought she should like to try
one ! The clerk was wicked enough to re-
fer her to railroad contractor for the ar
ticle. l.. ...r... .---.... .
The Trinity journal., 1856-01-26

WHAT IS A MORMON "A Mormon Is a
living paradox he says grace before cotll- o
lion. swears in his sermons, selects his texts
indifferently from the Bible, the book OF
Mormon an Almanac, or the Presidents
Message, and is perpetually quarrelllng Tor
the sake of peace. His religion is Joke,
and he makes the best story-teller chief OF
the quorum He assumes the dignltles but I
has net the slightest respect ior 'nsm anu
the effect of his piety is apparently 10 pu'
him on level with the greatest reprooateS
of the time. In short, he is the iaV'0r-o"y
saint or in other words, the last one you
would think of calling saint
The Trinity journal., 1856-01-26
THE TIRED SOLDIER.

Sister there is strange man by the
well I" cried little Ttinette.
F" | sect is only soldier added the
aunt.
Sister Maria sighed my Francois was
soldier" she reflected. But this was
grief of three years standing, and though
she sighed, she found it possible to give her
mind an abrupt twirl to some other subject
There he sat by the well--a travel-worn
and sun Drowned soldier A patient, gen.
tie man he seemed, too, as one that had
borne and suffered too many great hardShps
and griefS to be lightly moved by tf.des.-
Courage and fortitude render some men deli
ant and unbelieving- hey had influenced
this man into kindness and silence
Possibly the fatigue of the days journey
had wearied him into apathy, for he gazcd
ON the parents and children earnestly, yet
said nothing
a warm evening friend,' qhoth the old
man. Marie said nothing but gave him
pitcher filed with fresh water. He drank
eagerly and returned it, With thanks, still
gazing into her face with steadfast. and
somewhat sad air.
You are married ?" he inquired, yet in
tone which gave no offence.
No." said Marie
So pretty girl never wants lovers" re.
marked the soldier to the parents This
was n compliment, but was conveyed with
such tone of sombre wisdom, that the old
people nodded as if the cure himself had
spoken it.
81 do not know whether | have lover III
the wide world" replied Marie And she
replied in grave tone. For u jesting con.
verSation on such subject and with stran.
ger, this was the strangest manner of carry.
ing it on ., ....... So. ..t
Perhaps, then, you will be glad to hear
of Pierre Basil" said the soldier.
lie is dead" answered Marie, her eyes
filling with tears. why do You talk soy'
"Here the old gentleman who posted be
hind Maria, had been ntently scrutinzine
the stranger, winked to himself with an ai
Of satisfied sagacity, nodded, smiled down
wards with the right corner of his mouth
and laid his hand on the olds..siy,s sbopI.
der. That touch said distinctly:
Hush. keep still. Here's something
coming off t. u'.rpo,
"Not yet" replied the soldier to Maria
meaning that Pierre Basil was still alive
Not yet" And looking uteuty in her
brown eyes, he added: laaa
Don't you know me, Mariap p Y
There was no fainting or exttavagant Joy
manifested Both had seen and suffered too
much for that. But Maria clasped her
arms around her old lovers neck aid
kissed him, and as her tears ran down his
brown cheek she whispered, .dt
Pierre, have always been, and always
will be thine"
The Trinity journal., 1856-01-26

THE FASHIONABLE CHURCH---That whited
sepulchre the whited church, in which lie
rotting all the truest and noblest impulses of
the human heart is theme for every pure
minded satirist Of the day. No matter
where it may stand, it is detested by the
populace. Its sacredness has vanished in
the light of reason, and error cannot much
longer find Sebastopol within its holy walls
The people have been led through the dark,
by the blind, long enough. Now, they want
to see for themselves-and see they will
for the torches are being brought in and old
superstition is trembling with dread But
read the following from the pen of the true
hearted, keen-eyed, Fanny Fern: you enter
the church porch. The porty sexton, with
his thumbs in the arm-holes of his vest, meets
you at the moor. He gances at you; your
hat and coat are new, so no graciously es-
corts you to an eligible seat in the broad
aisle. Close behind you follows poor, meek,
plainly clad seamstress, reprieved from her
tresd7mll round, to think one day in the
seven Of the immortal The sexton is struck
with sudden blindness. She stands embar-
rassed one moment, then as the truth dawns
upon her, retraces her steps, and with a
crimson blush, re-crosses the threshold, which
she had profaned with her plebian feet
Hark to the organl 1T is strain from
"Norma," slightly Sabbathized. Now the
worshppers one after another glide in--silks
rattle-plumes waye-satins glisten---dia-
monds glitter--and scores Of forty dollar
handkerchiefs shake out their perfumed
odors! What absurdity to preach the gos-
pei of the lowly Nazarte to such seal
The clergyman knows no better than to do
so. He values his fat salary and handsome
parsonage too highly. So with vevety
tread he walks all around the ten aommand-
ments-places the downiest pillow under the
dying profigate's head-and ushers him with
seraphic hymning into an upper ten heaven"
Golden Era
The Trinity journal., 1856-01-26
stIttttn 9ottrn.
THE HOLE OF MY CHOICE.
BY IRIS. r.. T. ELDRIDGi'

'Tis not in the'Gean's briny deep,
Where mermaicS songs lull the wGes asleep
Not there, not there would seek br my home,
To float DER the bounding waveletalone
The waters would drink all the teas that shed
Then dance on their way as my bright hopes flee
'Tis not in the forest where pale flowers bloom,
Where tall trees tnge cen scnlighi 'lth gloom
,l"ere better e Hoat as the birds of The sea,
Than linger whore aunlight nau ceased TO be-;
For know that ny waywari hear would rebel,
\ ;'ssc1 % ns.l as ;fisves so veil ' 20
y not r'Ar fondy 10y ID pme If my birth
III pgh the sp' Gems isirer t-sn ply on earth
0h g anttmn Ini, with i anfe sigh,
kf .ia fevtr bag cherish most T. die
Ny home is no castle in the air,
That rises high when the wind blostfair.
"-is far beyond the star-gemmed sky
n thin veil shrouds its charms from le eye;
+ till angel forms are lowering near
Edy saddcst lonelest hours to cheer
y, When my longing spirit is free,
The home OF my choice will be read for me!
The Trinity journal., 1856-01-26

Constructive INsULTs-A word often pas
ses for blow in polite society, when the in
tention is to bring on deadly encounter
Consider yourself horse.whipped," says a
Bobadil who is fishing for challenge. An
irritable gentleman, at table, one time, ex-
claimed to quieter antagonist, consider
yourself struck, sir" Consider yourself
killed. was the rejoinder. ...
The Trinity journal., 1856-01-26
PROVERBIAL PHILOSOPHY.

Other persons were born about the same
time as thyself, and have been growing up
ever since as well as thou. Therefore be not
proud -4 ..-- .,.--.
Preserve few secrets from thy wife for
if she discover them she will grieve not that
thou hast kept from her thy secrets, but thy
confidence.
Yet confidence may be misplaced, and
when thou goest out, do not go in thin pat
ent leather boots, simply because the pave
ment before thine own door has dried
The girl who is destined to be thy wife,
although now unknown to thee, is sure to oe
living somewhere or other Hope, therefore
that she is quite well, and otherwise think
politely about her. ...
Educate thy children, lest one Of these
fine days they educate thee in school with
no vacations.
A traveller, journeying wisely, may learn
much. Yet much may be learned by him
who stays at home.
Heat expands things, and therefore in hot
weather the days are heightened Moral
heats sometimes expand the mind but they
lend not to the lengthening Of thy days
Cool things are used to cure fever, yet
the over GOODNESS of friends act will throw
thee into heat
If thy heart is in the Highlands, it is not
here. -
Vrtuous love is wholesome. Therefore
be virtuous, to make thyself worthy Of self
love. Not Of course that thou art thereby
prevented from loving somebody else.
4 A. stitch in time saves nine. If, there
fore, thou feelest one in thy side, be thank
full, 0 friend.
Solomon knew several things, allowing
for his age, but | could teach him few 9th
ers-Punch.
The Trinity journal., 1856-01-26

BsgrThe old adage that " you should not
count your chickens before they are hatch
ed" has been thus rendered by professor
of etiquette The producers of poultry
should postpone the census of their juvenile
fowls, until the period of incubation is full
ly accomplished"
The Trinity journal., 1856-01-26

ass~" Elder, will you have a drink of ci-
der ~ inquired farmer of an old temper
ance man, who was spending the evening at
his house.
"No, thank YOU" said the old man,
never drink liquor of any kind, especially ci-
der-but if you call it apple juice, l don't
care if do take little "
The Trinity journal., 1856-01-26
q Charley, where's your father ~

Charley, where's your father p
. don't know mother, but guess he's
gone over to Deacon Dilberry's pasture af-
ter his black sheep, kase seed the Wldder
Higgins going over that way"
Charley caught licking before breakfast
next morning.
The Trinity journal., 1856-01-26
s@-uotred and vengeance are very dill

say-Hatred and vengeance are very u,'-
fereut sentiments one is that OF niue MINUS
tbs other the effect of law to which great
sonls are obedient God avengeS anu ooeS
not hate. Hatred is the vice Of i..I, narrow
NV a,s thev feed it with all their littleneSs'
and make it thel%etext o' oas' ''''"D''-
The Trinity journal., 1856-01-26

Sas~A Western publisher lately gave no
tice that he intended to spend fifty dollars
for the purpose of getting up "a new head
for his paper. The next day one of his sub
scribers dropped him the following note =
Don't do it, Better keep the money and
buy 4 "new head" for the editor"
The Trinity journal., 1856-01-26

HH~To diminish envy, let us consider not
what others possess, but what they enjoy ;
mere riches may be the gift of lucky acci-
dent or blind chance, but happiness must be
the result of prudent preference and ration
al design
The Trinity journal., 1856-01-26

SMART" Bobby, what is the highest lat
itude known ~
The highest latitude knowns that which
Bill Jones allows to his feelings when he's
waltzing with our Kate
1t is unnecessary to say that Bobby was
Immediately marched off to bed.
The Trinity journal., 1856-01-26
Nj Il N.

God give us MEN A time like this demands
Strong minds, great hearts, true faith and ready
hands =
Men whom the lust of Office does not kill
Men whom the spoils of office cannot buy
Men who possess opinion and will .
Men who have honor-men who will not lie -
Men who can stand before demagogue,
And damn his treacherous batteries without wink
ing; ..
Tall men, suncrowned, who live above the fog
In public duty and private thinking
For while the rabble with their thumb-worn crceds
Their large professions and their little deeds,
Mingle in selfish strife, 10 FREEDoN weeps,
Wrong rules the land and waiting JrsrIcE sleeps
The Trinity journal., 1856-01-26

.vs smmy, my son, dom stand there
,cratcoa your head stir yoar stnmps; or
,ou,lllaae no progress in .'o,' "Why,
f.,beTW heard you say tde only way to
c.t ppstn the world, wa to scratch a,
Ssod
The Trinity journal., 1856-01-26

aG-G General Wolf, oyerhearing young
officer say in very familiar manner, Wolf
and drank bottle Of wine together, said :
L" | think you might say General Wolff
No." replied the subaltern, with happy
presence of mind, did you ever hear oi
Gen. Achilles, or Gen Caesar 7"
The Trinity journal., 1856-01-26

basn Henry Ward Beecher says =" / do
not lecture for the sake of high prices, but
l have demanded high prices that might
get rid of opportunities for lectures far be-
yond my ability to meet"
The Trinity journal., 1856-01-26
Rtssy"'TWo Irishmen ON landing in IN

DsS"Two Irishmen, on landing in this
country and sitting down to theit first din
ner Oh shore, found on the table dish of
prepared mustard, which neither Of them had
ever happened to meet before One of them
took spoonful at a venture, which quickly
brought deluge of tears over his face.
" What arc you crying for 7" asked his
companion. 1N
" / was crying at the recollection Of my
poor father who was hung twenty years
ago" ,
The dinner proceeded, and soon the other
made dip into the mustard, with similar
result
"What are you crying for z" was the in
quiry Of his comrade.
" was crying because you was not hung
when your father was"
The Trinity journal., 1856-01-26

.Sv.'What blessings children are I" as
"a clerk said, when De took the fee
sor chrienins theni-
The Trinity journal., 1856-01-26

D1Among other wants which appear in
the New York HeraM, is the following
WANTED-A thoroughly moral and pi-
Gus female domestic, whose conduct and char
acter will bear the strictest Investigation
She must be'of Mormon principles, and
have received the seal Of the Prophet
The Trinity journal., 1856-01-26

..,,,,e Scotch have a wing" Who
.bssfs once, shame be.a.I uim if he
.hoat0 eatwice, shame beta. me-"
The Trinity journal., 1856-01-26

.srvhyis young ladyjust from board
r.cbol like a building conuittee? Be-
o.,,.s sh is ready to receive propoSaIs.
The Trinity journal., 1856-01-26

,. nay i Somebody, We don aaog who, says
that a pretty woman is o'o Of the iDstttu-
tiony Of the country
The Trinity journal., 1856-01-26

~srThe reason why people are ready to
ogor advice is because it is never taken. 1t
!. nerfecty sale to offer it.
The Trinity journal., 1856-01-26

sD-Let friendship creep gently to q
height If it rush to it, it may soon runit-
self ont Of breath. p
The Trinity journal., 1856-01-26

p1- Wanted, by maiden lady, local
habitation and name" The real estate
she is not particular about, SO that the title
is good The name she wishes to hand down
Ia most eritv HH tFel ~ tt
The Trinity journal., 1856-01-26
~S

B6TThe editor of an Eastern paper says
that many Of his patrons would made good
wheel horses, they hold back so we'll
The Trinity journal., 1856-01-26
" Must i Leave Thee, Paa disc. -
ny EGLANTINE.

BY EGLANTINE.
Must leave thee, PsradiSel !"
Thus spok the gentle Eve,
As from her blessed Eden home
She took Ter mourntul leay
With agony + heart and brow
She gazed ipon the wild
Where she mst make her che rless home
Eden's oncehappy child
"0h must Ileave thee, Paradise p
Again thatnournful cry,
And every leaf and blossom thrilled
To her deem arony
For blasfg ID ,at moment loen
With 81 o2Gr .ad ro,.
ad walked inglory there,
dIhatOed the scenein love.
r from the gate she sadly came,
n mOurnful step and SLOW
beauteous head upon her beast
ved in dcspairing woe; ....
y heavng heart and quiveng lip
"a stood upon the Wild.
heard the gates of Eden cosc
pom her banishcd child!
a hlessed Eden home had \
Where flowers of beauty grG,
Were my young sisters roandme smiled
and God was with us too;
For in our mothers earnest toe
Such holy words we're given
That silently we caught each reath,
And knew it came from Hevcn
But now, afar from Paradise,
In mourpfnlness roam,
Hpsipg ppOn the golden hours -
That blessed my happy HON
A stranger in the wilderness,
An exile in the wild,
y F -fdi ne trick Eve
A sAx ai'hodt n
,lw, NV girls Re rnh men poor
The Trinity journal., 1856-01-26

sas-" What are you doing there, Jane ~
Why, pa, I'm going to dye my dolls
pnafore red" .rI
" But what are you going to dye it with ~
Beer, pa"
" Beer, child why who on earth told you
that beer would dye red 2" .p
Why ma said yesterday that it was beer
that made your nose SO red, and thought
that--n ,.s43a .i-..
Eth !-ah !-welL@-hainpA .---here, su,
san, take this chil2 10 he'd issA = 9-'
The Trinity journal., 1856-01-26

,w nv girls ke ri,h men poor,
al H. istri, 'poot ! make poor men
sirh
The Trinity journal., 1856-01-26

.,,l,L, W.TTfS- -TTHurTY--
s \ Siil has been apssseRted, e ~
islatsafeaef Tennessee. oler
dollars on eyeryg 81
snouStache, and
every haehslc
the purpa'
The Trinity journal., 1856-01-26
JOB WORK

rsS Orders firm abroad for job Work or Ad-
vertising, must accompanied with the CASH.
The Trinity journal., 1856-01-26

Other persons were born about the same
time as thyself, and have been growing up
ever since as well as thou. Therefore be not
The Kansas herald of freedom., 1856-11-22
H Would it not be a paying in

@ Would it not be paying in
vcstment for merchants to advertise
more literally, and thus induce trade,
to come to Lawrence and increase their
sales, and of course their profits, be-
sides contributing their share in sus-
tanning free press IN Kansas Let
those who feel disposed to answer in
the affirmative show it by thtir acts.
We regret that our friends WOODWARD
& FINLEY, or G. STEARss, are not in tlle
dry goods business, SO as to show their
neighbors the difference between adver-
tising and not doing SO. We live in a
fast age, and business men, to prosper
in it, must keep up with the times. 1t
will not do to lay ba:k and wait for
business, when others may come in,
and by pursuing q wiser policy, wrest
from us all the golden dollars which we
have only seen in prospective for so
long a period. Advertise if you desire
to succeed in business.
The Kansas herald of freedom., 1856-11-22
A Victory.


We are proud to observe that Craw-
ford county, Pa, from which we hail,
and which has always been welded to
the Democratic party, heretofore giving
majorities ranging from 500 to 700,
cast loose from its former attachments,
and gave Republican majority, at the
late State election, of 1866. But it
remained until the issue of freedom or
slavery in Kansas, came directly be-
fore them, at the Presidential election,
that they spoke with a full voice, and
by their action signifed their approval
of the course Of her sons, who had emf
grated from that county to Kansas. The
result is seen in nineteen hundred and
fifty majority over oil opposition, for Col.
FREMoMT. We thank them for that
vote. 1t shall serve to strengthen our
arm, and make US labor more vigor-
ously in the same direction. To
Messrs. kRicK, SMITH, RIcnNoxD,
KINGSLEY. BRowS, and other promi-
nent members of the Democratic party,
who have borne its honors in the State
Legislature, and been clothed with other
important public trusts, the Republican
party arc indebted for their victory
We know the sacrifices they have made
in leaving the party with which they
have always acted. One of the above
gentlemen wrote US, while a prisoner at
Lecompton, under the contemplate
charge of treason, that our old neighJorS
,rould redress the omrages ghich had
been perpetrated on oar person and
property, at tke 6allot Dor on the 4tk OF
Noeember, and right well they have done
| it. If other portions of Pennsylvania
had done one-tenth part as well as
Erie, Crawford, and Mercer counties,
in which lay the principal circulation
of the Conneauteille Courier, which
paper we published until we embarked
for Kansas, Fremont would have been
our next President. and our wrongs
would have been amply redresscd.
The Kansas herald of freedom., 1856-11-22


Gw The Kansas Central Committee
are purchasing 5000 sacks of -four, and
a proportional quantity of groceries,
enough in their opinion, to feed all the
destitute in the Territory until May
next 1t is their intention to supply
those only who are absolutely in want,
consequently they will exercise great
precaution in the distribution of the
charities which have been SO generous
ly placed at their disposal by the phi
lanthropie parsons in the Eastern States
for the relief of the truly necessitous in
Kansas.
The Kansas herald of freedom., 1856-11-22
Proclamation.

EXECUTIVE DEPARTMENT, !
Camp " Gracias Deos," Baptist Mission
Pottowattomie Reserve, K. T. J
Having reached this point after an extended
tour of observation throughout this Territory
and being now fully satisfied that the benign
influences of Peace rcigns throughout all her
borders in consonance with general custom
and my own feelings; l hereby specially set
apart the Doth day of November inst, to be OBJ
served by all the good citizens ofthis Territory
as day of general thanksgiving and praise
TO Almighty God, for the blessings rouelsafed
TO us.as apeople.
Given undermy hand at the place aforesaid,
this 9Th day Of November, 1856.
JOHN ". GEARY,
Governor of Kansas Territory
u Territorial papers are requested to copy,
and send in their bills to the Executive Office
of the Territory.
The Kansas herald of freedom., 1856-11-22
Kansas Central Committee.

THE following arc the officers and members
Il Of the Central Committee, as now organ.
lied. Their principal Office is at Lawrence
whore they are row ready to deliver clothing,
provisions, &c, upon written orders from the
Local Committees. 20 those who need, who
have no other visible means Of support Small
dspois OF these supplies viii be kept open al
o.ker points, underfh supervision OF the mem
btTs of this Committee IN those localities.
SAMUEL Z. II 4aTIS. President, Topeka VIM.
Hutchinson, Secretary. Lawrence James
Blood, Treasure, Lawrence; Alfred Curtis.
Bloomington J. H. Wincheli, Council CITY :
]. P. Root, Waboasa Aaron Dow, Allen r.
O. Neosha; H. Niles Moore, LeaYenworth
City; Gee S. Hillyer. Grasshopper Falls
Geo. Z. Donaldson, Easson s. g. McKinzic,
Manhattan; u. Fennimorc, Neoxha; Tho. IL
M'CuIluck, Burr Oak. Finance, Committee
Messrs- Blood, HatehiusoH and Curtis. Ex-
esalfvc committce-N b iDchcil, Martin and
HIiyeF
Lagrsnec. sev. - -. 1856.
Il EEP postsdon Kansas affairs. Todothis
L - subscribe fnr fhc
The Kansas herald of freedom., 1856-11-22

new order of things has been substi-
tuted. If Gov. Geary has assumed the
office of Dictator, as the Border Rufian
papers suggest, and rules with an iron
rod, he is doing just what the crisis de-
manded, and any thing else would have
plunged the whole nation into an inter-
necine war, with all It's direful eonse-
quenccs.