davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Glasgow weekly times. (Glasgow, Mo.) 1848-1861, 1856-06-05

Twill say in conclusion, that this valuable rem
edy can now be had wholesale or retail OF n. r.
Wetzell d Co, st. Louis; of James b. o'Relley
tape Girardeau; q. HENDERSON and TAY-
or & WHITE, Glasgow; Pigott Brothers
Glasgow weekly times. (Glasgow, Mo.) 1848-1861, 1856-06-05
JOHN THORNTON.

DR.. WIN. Price-Dear Sir--My wife has been
,Niicted with sick or nervous headache for six or
eight years, being compelled to go to bed with it
every day or two, until after she got Wheaton,s
,eleyed OF IL for one month past, and believe if
she follows directions, it will entirely cure her,
The medicine has invariably prevented an attack by
ns;ng few doses A. E. BURKE.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1856-06-28
Alphabetical Advice.
BY DOW, JR.

A. Always attend to your own avoca-
tons, avoid ale-houses and arIful women.
b. BE benevolent but not prodigai :;
bury all chickering's in the bosom OF forget
fulncss.
c. Contrivc to collect cash and keep
it.
/ D. Do your duty and defy the devil
/ z. Early endcavor to eXtricatc every
error both of head and heart.
f. Fight fairly when you do fight
but the better way is not to fight at all.
Fiddle for no Tools.
G. Grace, goodness, gumption, and a
little goose grease, enables men to slip
through the world mighty easy. Get
them and glory in them.
II. Harbor hope in your heart. if you
would be happy; but bark ye, hope can
not render rotten the rope of the hang
man.
I. Inquisitivencss is insulferable in
dulge not in it.
j. Juleps may be called the juice Of
Joy and the yeast of Jest but let them a
lone, for too much Joking often destroys
the iovialily of the social circle.
X. Kindness kindIes the fire Of friend
ship; kiss avails more than kick.
l.. Love the ladies' look before you
leap; cschcw loaferism.
NJ. Make not mischief by mcddllng
with other folks business.
N. Never be caught mapping except
in the night time.
O. Order is heavens first law obey
it.
p. Pursue the plain path Of probiiy
and put in practice what you will give IN
precept.
@. Quarrel not quihb1c not be not
fond of asking questions, or addicted to
queries.
Il. Rum ruins responsibility renew
and renevatc.
S. Seek salvation, oh, yc sinners
become saints and you are safe.
L. Take time by the .orcIocll, uy to
turn every moment to account.
u. Union unites to unity; in the
whole universe there is unison.
V. Vanity has no connection with
valor; remember that.
w. Women and wine bring want and
woe when wickedIy INDUCED in.
X. Mira 'Xertions accomplish 'Xtra-
ordinary ends.
Y. Yield to no tyrant ycomcn and
their yokeicIows are lords of soil.
Il. Z'g-zagging is characteristic of
zany; takea straight course thro' life and
pursue it.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1856-06-28
The Nliser Punished.

A miser having lost one hundred pounds,
promised ten pounds reward to any one
who should bring it 10 him. A poor man
found it and restored it to the old miser,
and demanded the reward, bnt the old
man. in order TO battle him, alleged there
were hundred and ten pounds N the bag
when lost.
The poor man, however, was advised
to sue for the money and when the cause
came on to be tried, it appeared that the
seal had not been broken, nor tho bag MP
ped, and the Judge said to .he defendants
counsel
"The bag you lost had hundred and
ten pounds in it, you say =
"Yes, my lord" said he.
Then" said the Judge, "accoTdlng TO
the evidence given in court, this cannot
be vour money, for here are only one hun
dred pounds therefore the plaintiff mus
keep il till the true owner appears"
Verdict accordingly with all the exPen'
ses OF the suit 10 the opposite party.
This decision almost broke the heart o
old Shylock, who wouId gladly have com
promised the matter lof hail the amount
but il WIS no 60.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1856-06-28
The wants OF The Agr.

A contemporary very truly remarks
that it is a mans destiny always 10 be
longing for something, and the gralIiica-
ton Of one act Of wishes but prepares Tho
unsalisied soul for the conception OF an
other.
The child Of year old wants Iinle but
food and sleep and 10 sooner IS ho sup
piled with a sufIicicu, allowance Of either
of those very excellent things, taan he bc-
gins whimPcTing, or yelling II may be,
for the other.
At three, the Young urchn becomes
enamorcd of PIumbs, apple pie, anI
confeclionarics.
Atslx, his Imagination runs 10 kites,
marbles, tops, and an abundance Of play
time.
A., ten, the boy wants to leave school
and have nothing 10 DO but to 60 bud
nesting and blackberry hunting.
a. fifteen, he wants beard and watch,
and pair Of Wellington boots.
At twenty, he wishes 10 cut figure
and ride horses sometimes his lhlTst for
display breaks out 10 d1ndyism and some
times IN poetry he - ants sadly to he IN
love, and takes II FOX ganiej HAT all tic la
dies are dying for him.
The young maa Of twenty-five. wants
a wife and at lhiry hc longs 10 be sim
gle again From lhir'y to forty he @ants
10 be rich, and tLiaks more Of making
money than lac does Of spending II. Abou,
this time, also lie dabbics ia politics and
wants Office.
At fifty, he wants excellent dinners and
capital wine. and considers nap in the
afternoon indispensable.
The respectable old gentleman Of sixty,
wants to retire fcom business with snug
independence Of thee Or four thousand, 10
marry his daughters, set up his sons. and
live IN the country and then for the rest
Of his life, wants 10 be young again.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1856-06-28
GGIJJGG = yGlLEJ ID
THE MEADOW GATE.
BY CHARLES sW AN

The bluo-bcll peeps beneath the fern,
The moor It's purple blossom yields,
'Tjs worth flll SIX days work 10 earn
4 Aram5Ic mid the woods aad fields.
There is an hour TO silence dear,
An hour for which a king might wait ;
1t is TO meet when no ones near,
Ny Mary by the meadow gate.
When love inspires the linnctt's breast
How swiIthc flies from spray to spray
His song is of his woodland nest,
Far hidden from the peep Of day.
Would such nest were my sweet lot!
Would might be some dear ones mate
I'd ask. to share my lonely cot,
My Mary BY the meadow gate.
There IS a tide the strcamict seeks,
A full nile from its course it yccrs,
And into sllycry music breaks
Wien from the vale the sea appears.
Oh twenty miles NY eager feet
Would wander long and lingcr late,
One happy moment but to meet
My Mary by the meadow gate.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1856-06-28
No. 81.
My,terics Of The Post Office Department

Mysterics Of The Post Office Department
John {. Riycs is responsible for the
following
lie sand that when kmCs Kendall was
Postmaster General, he took tour 10 the
South and West, partly on private bust
ness, and partly to get the film of OF his
official optlcs. and see how postal matters
were conducted. OF course he did not
make himself known On every occasion,
hut ne always looked on at every turn in
his post route. and sometimes he learned
something. At one place in Mississippi
he stopped, while travelling in the stage
coach, at a rather insignificant village, bat
where there was a distributing Office ol
some importance. No one knew that tc
was the Postmaster General. The post
master of the place WAS away from home,
rs he had been for some months, and the
business OF oyerhauIng, sorIng and dis
lrihuiing Uncle Sans mails were in the
hands of a"sub," in the shape o: an old
negro woman. The post Office was kept
in pretty good sized room, and on one
side of II there was 4 huge pile Of mail
matter and it looked too, somewhat like
a small tea-gardcn. There were papers.
letters, large and small packages OF books,
&C., "in huge confusion piled around.'--
The old black woman very deliberately
unlocked the bags and emptied their con-
tents out on the floor. Amos looked on,
and like Satan marshalling his lcgions in
Pandemonium, he admired"
Che darkey, after cmpying the con-
tents of the bags in the pile, commenced
putting back, and in every pouch replaced
miscellaneous assortment The Post
master General had his eyes open some,
and it occurred to him to ask "Aunty" If
she could read.
"Oh, no ~ said she, "bu, puts back
Jest abou, as much as master used 10 ~
As the critic said of Macrcady, when
he asked the Danish courier to play on
the pipe, and the courier took him at his
word, and played Yankee Doodle y
"Phancy IIamlicks feelink's !" Fancy
OLD Amos :" But his observations wcro
not completed. There was an enormous
pile OF mail matter that had been accumu-
lating for months under the postal super
vision of the sable "sub." 1t was after
IN. C.'s" had learned lhear of franking,
( and when their "beloved constituents
were in lhc habit Of applying for seeds
and ether products of the agricultural bu-
rcau of the Patent Office. The cucum-
bcr seeds Of those DAYS were not all bass
wood, as Kendall can testify. The seeds
in the moist, warm climate Of Mississippi
had terminated extensively throughout
this immense mass Of email matter"
cab5agcs, bcets, carrots, caulllowers were
there potatoes had sprouled; while GU
cumber,pumpkin and squashyincs had cx-
tended out Of the heap, and run nearly
across the room it issupPoscd that the
warmth Of the political documents, stlmu-
lated by the fiery nature of Southern pol
i!icians, had added TO, rather than subtrac-
ted from, the fertile nature Of the postal
compost.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1856-06-28
5rr3pH Dsg-J - . r'P-g r,-r2l
3IJC5J1E4lI5UJJ %
ICan.

Of course you can. You show it in
your looks, your motion, your speech,
and everything else. Every attitude
shows that your body has a soul, and is
inhabited by resolution and moral sense.
CAN a brave, manly expression.
There is a character, force, vigor, and de-
termination, a will in it. The words
have a spirit, sparkling and punsent, a.
bout them, not TO be resisted or forgot
ten.
There is a world of meaning expires.
sed, nailed down, epjsramatized and ram
med, so to speak, in these few letters.
Whole lectures are there, and sermons OF
mighty grandeur and cloquence.
We more than admire to hear the
young man speak out braveiy- boldly,
and determined, as if it was an out-stretch-
ing of his entire naturc--a reflection oil
his inner soul. It tells Of something that
is earnest, sober, serious of something
that will race and battle with the world
when tho way is open for it.
IcAN What a spirit, purpose, inten-
sity, reality, in the phrase. Iii strong
arm stout heart, a bold eye, a firm
spirit, an indomitablc soul. We never
knew man of energy, unsubdned and
energetic fire, that did not attain a place
of some distinction among his fellows.
How should, we may say, how could
it have been otherwise ? Take Washing
ton, Franklin, Wilberforce, Ferguson, and
all the master spirits that have found a
name and place upon the page Of histo-
ry, and where is the nation, where the
people--among whom they would not
have been distinguished.
1t could not be otherwise. 1t is the ma
,urc, constitution, order, necessity, the
very inevitab!lty of things and events,
that it should be so. | CAN, rightly and
truly said, and then clinched and riveted
| by manly and heroic deeds, is the real
secret, the true philosophy Of all great
mems lives. They took Il CAM for a
motto, and then went forth and made
themselves and the world just what !hey
pleased.
Then, young man, hear us, if il be on
ly this once. II you would be something
moro than y common. nrosv Asarsr r
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1856-06-28
The Parting Hour.

The hour is coming, it is solemn
hour, even 10 the wisest and the best-the
hour is coming, when We must bid ldeu
TO the scenes which please us, TO the fam
lilies we love, to the friends we esteem.
Whether we think or whether we think
not, that body which is now warm and ac-
tive with life, shall be cold and notion
less in death.--the countenance must be
pale, the eye must be closed, the voice
must be silenced, the senses must be de-
stroyed, the whole appearance must be
changeG.by the remorseless hand OF our
last enemy. We may Danish the remem-
brance of the weakness of our human ma
ture, we may tremble at the prospect OF
dissolution but our reluctance TO reflect
upon It, and our attempts to drive It from
our recollection, are vain. We know
that we are sentenced 20 die, and though
we sometimes succeed in casting off for q
season the conviction of this unwelcome
tru,h. we never can entirely remove 1t.
The reflection haunts Us still ii haunts
rs in solitude, ii follows US into society
il lies down with US at night, II awaEens
US in the morning. The lrrevocaoie
doom has passed upon us, and too well
do we know it, dust thou art, anu un'
10 dust thou shalt return.-I0WnSend.
a /
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1856-06-28

A JAW BREAKER.-The following ac-
tuaIIy occurred at the house Of lady in
the city of New York, some fifteen years
ago. tits the custom TO hand round
cracked hickory nuts, apples, raisins, &C.,
TO company that may happen TO come in
Of an evening. The lady Of the house
had hired a servant few days before, 4
green Irish woman, fresh from Emerald
Isle, by the name Of Peggy. Some nuts
were TO be cracked one evening PEGGY
was called, and receiving a dish of nuts
from the lady, was told TO take them down
to the kitchen and crack them, 1t was
thought Peggy knew all about cracking
nuts.
Time enough had elapsed for Peggy
to have cracked them, when the lady step
ped to the head of the stairs and called
Peggy "
"Marm !"
"Have YOU those nuts cracked yet -
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1856-06-28

A Jolly old Jarkey down South bought
himself new lat, and when 1t commen-
ceI raining he put it under lis arm.
When asked why he did not put il on his
head, lie replied "De hats miae ;
bought him wild my own money head
longs TO massa ; let him take keer he
own properly"
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1856-06-28

An exchange says Miller, the end OF
the world man, is lying desperately ILL.,
Desperately Ill or desperately well. he
has been Hei"g desPerd'ely this long
Iine.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1856-06-28
~ AcENcY roH TIE sAlC or
II.roLnia EG2L Eeg2te,

II IS well known to the thrifty Farmers Of this
faclion that land OF excellent quality, lying in
he State Of Virginia, is selling FOR onc-half
md in many instances onc-third the average
atcs here and this fact has induced and is
Tin urging many to look up homes in thc,"Old
Lominiou,' TO persons who arc disposed TO
part with their Farms, Mills, Distlilcrits, or
Real Estate, an opportunity is now offered
which, it Is believed, must be to their interests
to improve.
Tue condition on which the subscriber pro-
poses TO act as Agent are that description of
The land be furnished him, Gan accompanying
plot or chart very desirablc,) and that he be
10 advertise in one newspaper pub
li,hed in Hagcrs;own, which advertising Is TO
be chaygcaJlc 10 the owner Of the land As re-
Y,ds my pay viii be willing TO take fair
ronl>rl or if preferred q fixed sum. No
colo, rrT,"har~e.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1856-06-28
VIRGINIA
AGENCY

TUE attention that Virginia lands arc at'r0c-
L ting, in taj, as wei as the ncighboring
Slotc oG Pennsylvania, has induced The subscri-
acr e. ogcn a !iagcrsto%n, Washington county,
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1856-06-28
Terms per Session OF Five Months
TIRGINL4, jefferson Comfy, Set

TLRGIYL4, Jc0rrson Comfy, Set:
In the County Court, May Term, 1856.
bTa Court continued and held for the
y said County, on the 20tn day OF May,
1856.
/. appearing that the vote on the District
Free School System of this coun'y,whlch
was ordered to be taken at the ensuing
General Election, cannot be legally taken
on o the day of the general Election, the
Court posipones the said vote to Satur-
dov. the Gin day of September next, on
Which day the officers appointed hereto,
fore. will cause a vote to he taken at the
nIaces for holding Elections in the sever
al Districts of this County, in obedience
to the said former orders of the Court
A Copy-Teste.
T. A. MOORE, Clerk.
May d, 1856. II
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1856-06-28

chN'T DO WITHOUT TIE WoNEN.-A
Boosier in Kansas has been making his
fortune out Of a woman's dress. There
being no women there, the squallers give
him a dollar a sight, and t~o dollars if he
puts pillow in il, and lets them gIveil a
squeeze.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1856-06-28

"Come, come have you those nuts
cracked yet ~
"No, marm--thcy amt half cracked,
and me tathc arc almost ont Of my head,
aIridy."--Horn Of Mirth.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1856-06-28
Ehat HAVE Noticed.

have noticed that all men speak wei
Of mems yirlucs when they are dead an'
the tombstoncS are marked with cPitaPh.
Of "good and .virtuous." Is there any
particular cemetery where the bad mel
arc buried !"
have noticed that the prayer of every
selfish man is "forgiye us our debts" bu
he makes everybody pay who owes him
to the utmost farthing.
| have noticed that death is merclless
Judge though not impartial. Every man
owes a debt-Death summons the debtor
to lay down his dust in the currency oI
mortality.
| have noticed that money is The fools
wisdom, the knave's reputation, the wise
mans Jewel, the rich mans trouble, the
poor mans desire, the coyctOus mans aIn'
bilon, and the idol OF all.
| have noticed that merits always meas
ured in the world by its success.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1856-06-28

The lady who was LOST in amazement,
Las b.Rn !Uunt.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1856-06-28

, A man with moderate appetite dincu
at hotel, and, after eating the whole OF a
pig was asked if he would have some
pudding. He said he didn't care much
about pudding, but if they had another
little hog, he'd thank them for it.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1856-06-28

An exchange, commenting on the fact
iha. number Of Cincinnati young ladies
have lately been married away to other
places, says 10 city has better cIaaa TO
supply spare ribs for tie universe.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1856-06-28

Why is the husband Of scolding wife,
and the father of a household Of crying
childf=a, Ike railroad Because he
has : g7eg. many c.oss-liCs.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1856-06-28

"Joe, how many sctupIc5 are there in
drachm ?" Don't know, zur. y
"WelI,rcmcmbcr,lhere eight" Eight,
Must be a mistakc--dad alters takes his n
without nary scrnple at ALL"
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1856-06-28

OId maids are fond Of pans, but canacE
endure dates.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1856-06-28

May II, 1856.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1856-11-14
sPIRITOF THE MORNING PRESS.

The Union comm cnts on the interference of
The clergy in New York especially, In the re-
eeat eIsstfon saying in the course of its re-
marks:
We have no ttsrss 20 stop and state what
will be the end of a. This clerical interference
with the political rigStS Of she peoPle-this
dictstion from the pulEit-now tho inG,gnA-
Of the masEes will rise with the cai1 reVle.
Row the cry will 90 up Of the "bad s1p2oIt OF
the clergy'-hov the age will be mangusJT 90 81
sccount of the & instability Of the sacieu
Ace'-hov weak churches will DC msue nv
weak and strongOnes undermineu Gon,o Of
ocrats, insulted and maligned IN INC
God will leave those who love trv T 49, psa;,
for i.-nor no. these madmen Will soon assalI
ali that IL national in religion as wei as In
the State-nor how those who loved THESE eie-
ments in the politicai campaign WILL tremole
:. an q American Board" the - National
Tract Society" and the American Bible Do
cistv' shall DO the points OF attack for THESE
ruthless disorgsnizers. The day is SomIng
tbst hears with il its own tribulations let
t1oss who have sown dragons teeth beware of
t1s harvest of armed men that must follow ~
In tais connection We may not inappropri-
ssely repeat an anecdote related in letter to
a gentleman Of Washington from his wife, on
a visit 30 her friends 10 northern New York
- follows: On the Saturday night before the
slection at a prayer meeting she attended, the
minister proposed that each Of the brethren
present should "lead in prayer for bleeding
Kansas" His frst call was on blunt old
Democratic deacon who pitched unceremone-
ously into Reeder, Lane, political preaching,
murder arson and robbery under the pretepcs
of fighting fer freedom, as being the curses
Of society and the country at this era, and
wound up by bsssschins the Throne Of grace
and mercy for the triumph Of Buchanan and
Breckinridgs, as the only means Of restoring
tls non-slaveholding States to their senses and
ssaunching thu real wounds Of 4 bleeding Kan
sas" Ere he concluded, he frightened half
tae copgreg aion By the earnest vehemenoe
With which he fought the devil with FIRE -
Even tie minister, who had esssyed to take a
trick by that sort Of management, was go COM
pletely nonpIussed that he did not say Kansas
again while the prayer meeting continued.
The Intsiiigsncer says:
"lxPonrAsr rRoH EsGLAEp.-It Is state
in the Philadelphia American that private
lsttrss received in that city from the Hon.
George NJ Dallas by his conf iential friends
convey the important intelligence that he has
succeeded In negotiating treaty between the
United States and E. gland which covers and
settles all the points in dispute between the
two cOuGtTies 1t has been the earnest desire
Of President Pierce and Secretary Marcy to
accom- plish this difficult task before retiring
from Of5ce, so shat all possible troubles might
be smoothed away for the incoming Admins.
trstion The instructions given to Mr Dali
las, when he entered upon bis mission, have
been seslously acted up to by him, and the
resalt has been most happy, as above noted 5"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1856-11-14
The Opera.

The Pyne and Harrison Opera troupe again
achieved entire success last night in the " b.
hemian Girl" The house, a fine one, was
composed Of all the lovers of music in Wash.
ingson, embracing Of course large proportion
OF the fashion and beauty Of the Federal me.
tropolis.
Nj Guillmette, as Count Arnheim, achieved
another professional triumph. He has already
established for himself high reputation in
deed among our opera ,goers. His songs are
rendered with pathos, volume and artistic skill
which not only csptivate the ear and 90 direct
~ the heart but stand the test of the ,everest
criticism. Louisa Pyne, the life and soul of
the piece last night, and Mr.. Harrison, were
never in better voice, nor did they ever better
satisfy an audience.
Tonight Lucia de Lammermoor" is to be
performed, for the benefit of Mr.. Harrison
Elsewhere this standard opera never fails to
draw crowded houses. II Is rep,ete with
beautiful features, and if among us there are
any who have never heard it, we advise them
by all means to attend tonight; for they will
enjoy a musical treat such as is rarely indeed
to be enjoyed in w ashington. 1t may be heard
thousand times with pleasure, and on this
occasion will be put on the stage as success.
fully, doubtless, az ever before in this country
by an English Opera troupe.